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4,115 | How to Be Safe During a Landslide | 1. Staying Safe During a Landslide
1-1. Keep yourself alert and awake.
Landslides can occur quite suddenly, so you need to be ready to take action at a moment’s notice. Many landslide-related deaths occur while people are asleep.
If you are with other people, work together to keep one another awake.
Watch and listen for warning signs of a nearby landslide, including sounds of falling debris or changes in water clarity or flow. It is imperative that you familiarize yourself with landslide warning signs, especially if you live in an at-risk area. Keep reading to learn more about landslide warning signs in detail.
1-2. Listen to a local news station for updates.
Using a battery-powered radio or television, listen to your local news station for updates about the weather. Be alert to warnings about intense rainfall, which can trigger landslides.
1-3. Evacuate if it is safe to do so.
Sometimes, your local law enforcement will order an evacuation, but other times, they may not be aware of a landslide until it is too late. If you think a landslide is imminent and it is safe to leave, evacuate immediately. Contact your neighbors and your local police or fire department to warn them of danger.
Be sure to bring your animals with you.
Don't forget to bring your emergency kit, which contains essential items like food, water, and medication. You'll learn how to make one in a later section.
1-4. Be cautious and alert while driving.
If you need to drive to leave a dangerous area, proceed with caution. Beware of flooded roads, collapsed pavement, fallen debris, and washed-out bridges. DO NOT cross flooded streams--instead, turn around and try to find an alternative route.
1-5. Move to a second story, if possible.
If it isn’t safe to leave the building, but you believe a landslide is imminent, move to the building’s second story, if possible.
1-6. Move out of the path of the landslide as quickly as you can.
Landslides move very quickly--much faster than you can run or walk. Trying to outrun a landslide is futile. Instead, remove yourself as fast as you can from the path of the landslide.
Before crossing any bridges, always look upstream to see if a landslide is approaching. If this is the case, do not cross the bridge and move out of the path of the landslide.
1-7. Avoid river valleys and other low areas.
These areas are especially dangerous when landslides are imminent, so stay away.
1-8. Curl into a ball if you cannot escape.
In some cases, you may not be able to escape. If you are trapped in the path of a landslide, curl up into a tight ball and protect your head.
2. Staying Safe After a Landslide
2-1. Go to a public shelter.
Your local community should have a designated public shelter. Go to the shelter if your home is unsafe or the authorities have called for an evacuation.
To find the shelter closest to you, text SHELTER + your ZIP code to 43362 (4FEMA). For example, if your zip code is 56789, you would text SHELTER 56789.
2-2. Avoid the area where the landslide occurred.
Landslides may recur in the same location. Avoid this area and seek shelter.
2-3. Check for trapped and injured people.
You should not enter the area where the landslide occurred. However, if you can see people who are trapped or injured in the area, notify the authorities immediately.
2-4. Help neighbors who need special assistance.
Infants, the disabled, and the elderly may experience extra difficulty in emergency situations. If it is safe to do so, help your neighbors with special needs. Remember that neighbors with large families may require additional assistance as well.
2-5. Assess the area for damage and safety.
Report any damaged utility lines, roadways, and railways to the authorities. If you are in a building, examine its foundation, chimney and surrounding land to determine if the structure is stable. If the area appears unsafe, leave immediately.
2-6. Replant the affected area.
Landslides often destroy vegetation. Without vegetation, the area is more susceptible to erosion and flash flooding, which can lead to another landslide. Replanting the affected area helps prevent future landslides.
2-7. Talk to a geotechnical expert.
If your property was damaged in the landslide, consider talking to a geotechnical expert to reduce landslide risk. The expert can evaluate your property and determine what modifications, if any, should be made to ensure your safety.
3. Knowing the Warning Signs
3-1. Look for new areas of moisture.
If you see springs or puddles in areas of the ground that are usually dry, this could be a sign of an imminent landslide.
3-2. Look for warping in your home.
Take note if your deck, patio, or concrete floors are tilting, pulling away from the building, or cracking. Sticking doors and windows could also indicate warping that precedes a landslide.
Broken water lines or other utilities may also be a warning sign.
3-3. Look for warping and movement in the surrounding area.
Sunken roadbeds and leaning fences, telephone poles, and trees can signal an imminent landslide.
3-4. Notice unusual sounds.
A faint rumbling sound that gets louder and louder could indicate an approaching landslide. Sounds like cracking trees or scraping rocks may signal moving debris from a landslide.
3-5. Monitor changing water levels.
A sudden increase in creek water levels is a warning sign, as is a sudden decrease in water levels despite recent rain.
If you live near a waterway, check the water’s clarity. A change from clear to muddy could mean a landslide is imminent.
4. Preparing your Home
4-1. Follow proper land-use procedures.
Proper land use-procedures dictate that you should not build near mountain edges, steep slopes, or natural erosion valleys. These areas are prone to landslides.
4-2. Contact local officials about past landslides.
Landslides tend to happen in the same area where they have occurred before. Talk to local officials about landslides in your area. If you are in an at-risk area, consider getting a site analysis of your property. This will help you determine any necessary corrective measures.
You should be especially attuned to landslide warning signs if you live in an at-risk area.
4-3. Consider building retaining or deflection walls.
Retaining walls, channels, and deflection walls can shield your property from landslide debris and divert debris flow. If you live in an area that is vulnerable to landslides, consult a professional to see what should be done.
Beware—if your channels or deflection walls cause debris to flow into a neighbor’s property, you may have to pay for damages.
If you build a wall, putting drainage behind the wall is extremely important. This will prevent the wall from tipping over and sliding down the hill if any pressure buildup or water accumulates in front of it.
4-4. Talk to an insurance agent if your area is at risk.
If your area is vulnerable to landslides, talk to an insurance agent to see if your insurance covers landslide-related damage. Although landslide insurance is not usually available, some flood insurance policies cover damage from landslide flows.
4-5. Make an emergency kit.
An emergency kit contains the essentials that your household will need during an emergency. Make your kit in advance so it is ready at a moment’s notice. Your kit should contain enough food and water to last for at least 72 hours, as well as supplies like medications, flashlights, batteries, cell phones, copies of personal documents, and cash.
Remember that landslides can cut off services like electricity, sewage treatment, gas, water, and telephones. Pack supplies in your kit that will allow you to deal with these outages.
Choose food that is non-perishable and can be prepared during power outages.
Pack any important items that would be difficult or impossible to replace.
5. Making an Emergency Plan
5-1. Discuss safety protocol in the event of a landslide.
Talk to your family about the appropriate actions to take in order to stay safe during a landslide, especially if you live in a vulnerable area. Be sure to discuss evacuation procedures, as well as safe locations and areas to avoid.
5-2. Understand how to get emergency alerts.
Make sure everyone knows how to get emergency alerts from local officials, whether it be via phone, television, or radio. Talk to your local emergency management agency to see how alerts are delivered in your area.
Don’t forget to emphasize the importance of listening to the local news station for emergency updates in the event of a landslide!
5-3. Collect family members’ contact information.
Write down each family member’s phone number, email, social media, medical facilities, and school or workplace. Having this information on hand will make it easier for family members to get in touch in the event of the landslide or other emergencies.
5-4. Pick an emergency meeting place.
In the event of a landslide or other emergency, choose a place where the family will meet to reunite. Select a location in your neighborhood and your town. Make sure everyone is aware of the location.
Choose a location that is accessible for everyone in your family, particularly for members with disabilities.
If you have pets, pick a pet-friendly area.
You might choose to meet at a neighbor’s house or your mailbox for your neighborhood location, and at a community center or a place of worship for your town location.
5-5. Compile and share your plan.
Compile contact information, landslide safety protocol, and your emergency meeting places on a single document. This is your emergency plan. Give every family member a copy and make sure they carry it with them at all times.
Put a copy somewhere central in your home, like on the fridge.
You may also want to make an emergency plan for your business.
5-6. Practice your plan.
Meet with your household periodically to review your plan and practice landslide safety protocol. This is important if you live in an area where landslides are common.
Warnings
Landslides are extremely dangerous, so it is far better to evacuate immediately if you suspect imminent danger than to wait.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Staying Safe During a Landslide\\n1-1. Keep yourself alert and awake.\\nLandslides can occur quite suddenly, so you need to be ready to take action at a moment’s notice. Many landslide-related deaths occur while people are asleep.\\nIf you are with other people, work together to keep one another awake.\\nWatch and listen for warning signs of a nearby landslide, including sounds of falling debris or changes in water clarity or flow. It is imperative that you familiarize yourself with landslide warning signs, especially if you live in an at-risk area. Keep reading to learn more about landslide warning signs in detail.\\n1-2. Listen to a local news station for updates.\\nUsing a battery-powered radio or television, listen to your local news station for updates about the weather. Be alert to warnings about intense rainfall, which can trigger landslides.\\n1-3. Evacuate if it is safe to do so.\\nSometimes, your local law enforcement will order an evacuation, but other times, they may not be aware of a landslide until it is too late. If you think a landslide is imminent and it is safe to leave, evacuate immediately. Contact your neighbors and your local police or fire department to warn them of danger.\\nBe sure to bring your animals with you.\\nDon't forget to bring your emergency kit, which contains essential items like food, water, and medication. You'll learn how to make one in a later section.\\n1-4. Be cautious and alert while driving.\\nIf you need to drive to leave a dangerous area, proceed with caution. Beware of flooded roads, collapsed pavement, fallen debris, and washed-out bridges. DO NOT cross flooded streams--instead, turn around and try to find an alternative route.\\n1-5. Move to a second story, if possible.\\nIf it isn’t safe to leave the building, but you believe a landslide is imminent, move to the building’s second story, if possible.\\n1-6. Move out of the path of the landslide as quickly as you can.\\nLandslides move very quickly--much faster than you can run or walk. Trying to outrun a landslide is futile. Instead, remove yourself as fast as you can from the path of the landslide.\\nBefore crossing any bridges, always look upstream to see if a landslide is approaching. If this is the case, do not cross the bridge and move out of the path of the landslide.\\n1-7. Avoid river valleys and other low areas.\\nThese areas are especially dangerous when landslides are imminent, so stay away.\\n1-8. Curl into a ball if you cannot escape.\\nIn some cases, you may not be able to escape. If you are trapped in the path of a landslide, curl up into a tight ball and protect your head.\\n2. Staying Safe After a Landslide\\n2-1. Go to a public shelter.\\nYour local community should have a designated public shelter. Go to the shelter if your home is unsafe or the authorities have called for an evacuation.\\nTo find the shelter closest to you, text SHELTER + your ZIP code to 43362 (4FEMA). For example, if your zip code is 56789, you would text SHELTER 56789.\\n2-2. Avoid the area where the landslide occurred.\\nLandslides may recur in the same location. Avoid this area and seek shelter.\\n2-3. Check for trapped and injured people.\\nYou should not enter the area where the landslide occurred. However, if you can see people who are trapped or injured in the area, notify the authorities immediately.\\n2-4. Help neighbors who need special assistance.\\nInfants, the disabled, and the elderly may experience extra difficulty in emergency situations. If it is safe to do so, help your neighbors with special needs. Remember that neighbors with large families may require additional assistance as well.\\n2-5. Assess the area for damage and safety.\\nReport any damaged utility lines, roadways, and railways to the authorities. If you are in a building, examine its foundation, chimney and surrounding land to determine if the structure is stable. If the area appears unsafe, leave immediately.\\n2-6. Replant the affected area.\\nLandslides often destroy vegetation. Without vegetation, the area is more susceptible to erosion and flash flooding, which can lead to another landslide. Replanting the affected area helps prevent future landslides.\\n2-7. Talk to a geotechnical expert.\\nIf your property was damaged in the landslide, consider talking to a geotechnical expert to reduce landslide risk. The expert can evaluate your property and determine what modifications, if any, should be made to ensure your safety.\\n3. Knowing the Warning Signs\\n3-1. Look for new areas of moisture.\\nIf you see springs or puddles in areas of the ground that are usually dry, this could be a sign of an imminent landslide.\\n3-2. Look for warping in your home.\\nTake note if your deck, patio, or concrete floors are tilting, pulling away from the building, or cracking. Sticking doors and windows could also indicate warping that precedes a landslide.\\nBroken water lines or other utilities may also be a warning sign.\\n3-3. Look for warping and movement in the surrounding area.\\nSunken roadbeds and leaning fences, telephone poles, and trees can signal an imminent landslide.\\n3-4. Notice unusual sounds.\\nA faint rumbling sound that gets louder and louder could indicate an approaching landslide. Sounds like cracking trees or scraping rocks may signal moving debris from a landslide.\\n3-5. Monitor changing water levels.\\nA sudden increase in creek water levels is a warning sign, as is a sudden decrease in water levels despite recent rain.\\nIf you live near a waterway, check the water’s clarity. A change from clear to muddy could mean a landslide is imminent.\\n4. Preparing your Home\\n4-1. Follow proper land-use procedures.\\nProper land use-procedures dictate that you should not build near mountain edges, steep slopes, or natural erosion valleys. These areas are prone to landslides.\\n4-2. Contact local officials about past landslides.\\nLandslides tend to happen in the same area where they have occurred before. Talk to local officials about landslides in your area. If you are in an at-risk area, consider getting a site analysis of your property. This will help you determine any necessary corrective measures.\\nYou should be especially attuned to landslide warning signs if you live in an at-risk area.\\n4-3. Consider building retaining or deflection walls.\\nRetaining walls, channels, and deflection walls can shield your property from landslide debris and divert debris flow. If you live in an area that is vulnerable to landslides, consult a professional to see what should be done.\\nBeware—if your channels or deflection walls cause debris to flow into a neighbor’s property, you may have to pay for damages.\\nIf you build a wall, putting drainage behind the wall is extremely important. This will prevent the wall from tipping over and sliding down the hill if any pressure buildup or water accumulates in front of it.\\n4-4. Talk to an insurance agent if your area is at risk.\\nIf your area is vulnerable to landslides, talk to an insurance agent to see if your insurance covers landslide-related damage. Although landslide insurance is not usually available, some flood insurance policies cover damage from landslide flows.\\n4-5. Make an emergency kit.\\nAn emergency kit contains the essentials that your household will need during an emergency. Make your kit in advance so it is ready at a moment’s notice. Your kit should contain enough food and water to last for at least 72 hours, as well as supplies like medications, flashlights, batteries, cell phones, copies of personal documents, and cash.\\nRemember that landslides can cut off services like electricity, sewage treatment, gas, water, and telephones. Pack supplies in your kit that will allow you to deal with these outages.\\nChoose food that is non-perishable and can be prepared during power outages.\\nPack any important items that would be difficult or impossible to replace.\\n5. Making an Emergency Plan\\n5-1. Discuss safety protocol in the event of a landslide.\\nTalk to your family about the appropriate actions to take in order to stay safe during a landslide, especially if you live in a vulnerable area. Be sure to discuss evacuation procedures, as well as safe locations and areas to avoid.\\n5-2. Understand how to get emergency alerts.\\nMake sure everyone knows how to get emergency alerts from local officials, whether it be via phone, television, or radio. Talk to your local emergency management agency to see how alerts are delivered in your area.\\nDon’t forget to emphasize the importance of listening to the local news station for emergency updates in the event of a landslide!\\n5-3. Collect family members’ contact information.\\nWrite down each family member’s phone number, email, social media, medical facilities, and school or workplace. Having this information on hand will make it easier for family members to get in touch in the event of the landslide or other emergencies.\\n5-4. Pick an emergency meeting place.\\nIn the event of a landslide or other emergency, choose a place where the family will meet to reunite. Select a location in your neighborhood and your town. Make sure everyone is aware of the location.\\nChoose a location that is accessible for everyone in your family, particularly for members with disabilities.\\nIf you have pets, pick a pet-friendly area.\\nYou might choose to meet at a neighbor’s house or your mailbox for your neighborhood location, and at a community center or a place of worship for your town location.\\n5-5. Compile and share your plan.\\nCompile contact information, landslide safety protocol, and your emergency meeting places on a single document. This is your emergency plan. Give every family member a copy and make sure they carry it with them at all times.\\nPut a copy somewhere central in your home, like on the fridge.\\nYou may also want to make an emergency plan for your business.\\n5-6. Practice your plan.\\nMeet with your household periodically to review your plan and practice landslide safety protocol. This is important if you live in an area where landslides are common.\\nWarnings\\nLandslides are extremely dangerous, so it is far better to evacuate immediately if you suspect imminent danger than to wait.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Landslides occur when large amounts of wet debris, including rocks, earth, and trees, slide down a slope. They may occur as a result of fires, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, storms, or human activity. Landslides are particularly dangerous because they strike suddenly, move at extremely high speeds, and travel long distances.Although landslides are often difficult to predict, you can prepare for a landslide by following proper safety protocol, familiarizing yourself with the warning signs, and making an emergency plan.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Staying Safe During a Landslide\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep yourself alert and awake.\", \"描述\": \"Landslides can occur quite suddenly, so you need to be ready to take action at a moment’s notice. Many landslide-related deaths occur while people are asleep.\\nIf you are with other people, work together to keep one another awake.\\nWatch and listen for warning signs of a nearby landslide, including sounds of falling debris or changes in water clarity or flow. It is imperative that you familiarize yourself with landslide warning signs, especially if you live in an at-risk area. Keep reading to learn more about landslide warning signs in detail.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to a local news station for updates.\", \"描述\": \"Using a battery-powered radio or television, listen to your local news station for updates about the weather. Be alert to warnings about intense rainfall, which can trigger landslides.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Evacuate if it is safe to do so.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, your local law enforcement will order an evacuation, but other times, they may not be aware of a landslide until it is too late. If you think a landslide is imminent and it is safe to leave, evacuate immediately. Contact your neighbors and your local police or fire department to warn them of danger.\\nBe sure to bring your animals with you.\\nDon't forget to bring your emergency kit, which contains essential items like food, water, and medication. You'll learn how to make one in a later section.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be cautious and alert while driving.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to drive to leave a dangerous area, proceed with caution. Beware of flooded roads, collapsed pavement, fallen debris, and washed-out bridges. DO NOT cross flooded streams--instead, turn around and try to find an alternative route.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Move to a second story, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"If it isn’t safe to leave the building, but you believe a landslide is imminent, move to the building’s second story, if possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Move out of the path of the landslide as quickly as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Landslides move very quickly--much faster than you can run or walk. Trying to outrun a landslide is futile. Instead, remove yourself as fast as you can from the path of the landslide.\\nBefore crossing any bridges, always look upstream to see if a landslide is approaching. If this is the case, do not cross the bridge and move out of the path of the landslide.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid river valleys and other low areas.\", \"描述\": \"These areas are especially dangerous when landslides are imminent, so stay away.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Curl into a ball if you cannot escape.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, you may not be able to escape. If you are trapped in the path of a landslide, curl up into a tight ball and protect your head.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Safe After a Landslide\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to a public shelter.\", \"描述\": \"Your local community should have a designated public shelter. Go to the shelter if your home is unsafe or the authorities have called for an evacuation.\\nTo find the shelter closest to you, text SHELTER + your ZIP code to 43362 (4FEMA). For example, if your zip code is 56789, you would text SHELTER 56789.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid the area where the landslide occurred.\", \"描述\": \"Landslides may recur in the same location. Avoid this area and seek shelter.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check for trapped and injured people.\", \"描述\": \"You should not enter the area where the landslide occurred. However, if you can see people who are trapped or injured in the area, notify the authorities immediately.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help neighbors who need special assistance.\", \"描述\": \"Infants, the disabled, and the elderly may experience extra difficulty in emergency situations. If it is safe to do so, help your neighbors with special needs. Remember that neighbors with large families may require additional assistance as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Assess the area for damage and safety.\", \"描述\": \"Report any damaged utility lines, roadways, and railways to the authorities. If you are in a building, examine its foundation, chimney and surrounding land to determine if the structure is stable. If the area appears unsafe, leave immediately.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Replant the affected area.\", \"描述\": \"Landslides often destroy vegetation. Without vegetation, the area is more susceptible to erosion and flash flooding, which can lead to another landslide. Replanting the affected area helps prevent future landslides.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Talk to a geotechnical expert.\", \"描述\": \"If your property was damaged in the landslide, consider talking to a geotechnical expert to reduce landslide risk. The expert can evaluate your property and determine what modifications, if any, should be made to ensure your safety.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Knowing the Warning Signs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for new areas of moisture.\", \"描述\": \"If you see springs or puddles in areas of the ground that are usually dry, this could be a sign of an imminent landslide.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look for warping in your home.\", \"描述\": \"Take note if your deck, patio, or concrete floors are tilting, pulling away from the building, or cracking. Sticking doors and windows could also indicate warping that precedes a landslide.\\nBroken water lines or other utilities may also be a warning sign.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look for warping and movement in the surrounding area.\", \"描述\": \"Sunken roadbeds and leaning fences, telephone poles, and trees can signal an imminent landslide.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Notice unusual sounds.\", \"描述\": \"A faint rumbling sound that gets louder and louder could indicate an approaching landslide. Sounds like cracking trees or scraping rocks may signal moving debris from a landslide.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Monitor changing water levels.\", \"描述\": \"A sudden increase in creek water levels is a warning sign, as is a sudden decrease in water levels despite recent rain.\\nIf you live near a waterway, check the water’s clarity. A change from clear to muddy could mean a landslide is imminent.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Preparing your Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow proper land-use procedures.\", \"描述\": \"Proper land use-procedures dictate that you should not build near mountain edges, steep slopes, or natural erosion valleys. These areas are prone to landslides.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Contact local officials about past landslides.\", \"描述\": \"Landslides tend to happen in the same area where they have occurred before. Talk to local officials about landslides in your area. If you are in an at-risk area, consider getting a site analysis of your property. This will help you determine any necessary corrective measures.\\nYou should be especially attuned to landslide warning signs if you live in an at-risk area.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider building retaining or deflection walls.\", \"描述\": \"Retaining walls, channels, and deflection walls can shield your property from landslide debris and divert debris flow. If you live in an area that is vulnerable to landslides, consult a professional to see what should be done.\\nBeware—if your channels or deflection walls cause debris to flow into a neighbor’s property, you may have to pay for damages.\\nIf you build a wall, putting drainage behind the wall is extremely important. This will prevent the wall from tipping over and sliding down the hill if any pressure buildup or water accumulates in front of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to an insurance agent if your area is at risk.\", \"描述\": \"If your area is vulnerable to landslides, talk to an insurance agent to see if your insurance covers landslide-related damage. Although landslide insurance is not usually available, some flood insurance policies cover damage from landslide flows.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make an emergency kit.\", \"描述\": \"An emergency kit contains the essentials that your household will need during an emergency. Make your kit in advance so it is ready at a moment’s notice. Your kit should contain enough food and water to last for at least 72 hours, as well as supplies like medications, flashlights, batteries, cell phones, copies of personal documents, and cash.\\nRemember that landslides can cut off services like electricity, sewage treatment, gas, water, and telephones. Pack supplies in your kit that will allow you to deal with these outages.\\nChoose food that is non-perishable and can be prepared during power outages.\\nPack any important items that would be difficult or impossible to replace.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Making an Emergency Plan\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss safety protocol in the event of a landslide.\", \"描述\": \"Talk to your family about the appropriate actions to take in order to stay safe during a landslide, especially if you live in a vulnerable area. Be sure to discuss evacuation procedures, as well as safe locations and areas to avoid.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand how to get emergency alerts.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure everyone knows how to get emergency alerts from local officials, whether it be via phone, television, or radio. Talk to your local emergency management agency to see how alerts are delivered in your area.\\nDon’t forget to emphasize the importance of listening to the local news station for emergency updates in the event of a landslide!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Collect family members’ contact information.\", \"描述\": \"Write down each family member’s phone number, email, social media, medical facilities, and school or workplace. Having this information on hand will make it easier for family members to get in touch in the event of the landslide or other emergencies.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pick an emergency meeting place.\", \"描述\": \"In the event of a landslide or other emergency, choose a place where the family will meet to reunite. Select a location in your neighborhood and your town. Make sure everyone is aware of the location.\\nChoose a location that is accessible for everyone in your family, particularly for members with disabilities.\\nIf you have pets, pick a pet-friendly area.\\nYou might choose to meet at a neighbor’s house or your mailbox for your neighborhood location, and at a community center or a place of worship for your town location.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Compile and share your plan.\", \"描述\": \"Compile contact information, landslide safety protocol, and your emergency meeting places on a single document. This is your emergency plan. Give every family member a copy and make sure they carry it with them at all times.\\nPut a copy somewhere central in your home, like on the fridge.\\nYou may also want to make an emergency plan for your business.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice your plan.\", \"描述\": \"Meet with your household periodically to review your plan and practice landslide safety protocol. This is important if you live in an area where landslides are common.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Landslides are extremely dangerous, so it is far better to evacuate immediately if you suspect imminent danger than to wait.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,116 | How to Be Safe When Home Alone (Kids) | 1. Preventing Danger
1-1. Follow your parents' rules.
Your parents want you to stay safe. That's why they have rules. If you're not sure what the rules are, sit down with your parents and write out a list together, so you both have something to refer to.
The rules might cover who you can have over (if anyone), whether you can go outside, and whether you can take phone calls.
1-2. Lock the doors and windows.
While break-ins are unusual, they can happen. The best thing you can do is keep the doors and windows locked when you're inside. That way, someone can't just walk in without your permission.
If your family has an alarm, learn how to set it so it can protect you while you're home. Set the alarm to "Stay", preferably "Instant", so that police are notified in the event of a break-in.
1-3. Avoid opening the door to people you don't know.
If someone comes to the door, it's best to ignore it if you don't know the person. If the person is delivering a package, ask them to leave it or come back later. Don't tell them you're by yourself.
It's also important not to tell people over the phone that you're by yourself at home. If someone calls for your parents, you can say, "They can't come to the phone right now. Can I have them call you back?"
1-4. Stay away from dangerous items in the house.
Even though you're home alone, you don't have free rein to do anything you want. You still need to stay away from dangerous things. Don't play with matches, knives, or guns, for instance. Also, don't take medications unless you know what you're doing. Don't mix chemicals and cleaners you find around the house, as it can create fumes or liquids that can hurt you.
1-5. Call your parents if you need to.
If something happens or you don't know what to do, call your parents or another trusted adult. They can walk you through the situation so you feel safe again.
It's best to know your parents' cell phone numbers by heart, so you'll always be able to call even if you can't see the list of emergency numbers.
2. Handling Emergencies
2-1. Have emergency numbers ready.
If something happens, you need to be ready. The main emergency number you need to know is 9-1-1 (in the United States). They can help with emergencies like fires, someone breaking in, or injuries. But you should only call them when it's truly an emergency. If you get a small cut, that's not a reason to call 9-1-1.
Keep other emergency numbers on hand, such as your parents' numbers, as well as other people you can call if you have an issue, such as a neighbor or family member.
If you don't have these numbers handy, ask your parents to make a list and post it up for you to see easily.
2-2. Practice what to say during an emergency call.
When you call 9-1-1, the operator will want to know a few things. They'll want to know where you are (your address) and what's wrong. They'll also want to know your phone number so they can call back if needed. Try running through a practice call with your parents.
2-3. Run through practice emergencies with your parents.
If something crazy happens, you may want to panic. Most people do. It's important to stay calm, though. One way you can learn to stay calm is to go over what to do when things happen with your parents ahead of time.
Things can go wrong in a house, such as a toilet overflowing, the smoke alarm going off, or something catching on fire in the kitchen. Ask your parents to go over potential problems with you.
2-4. Learn where the emergency exits are.
You need to be able to know how to get out of your house in different ways. Of course, the back and front doors are good options. If there's a fire, though, you may need to escape through a window to get to safety.
Ask your parents to go over the best ways out of the house.
2-5. Learn the basics of first aid.
If you're at home alone, you need to know how to deal with getting a cut or a burn. If you have a bad cut or burn, you can call 9-1-1, but if you're only a little hurt, you can fix it yourself.
For instance, for a cut, wash your hands, then hold a clean cloth against it to stop the bleeding. Rinse out the cut with cool water. Use antibiotic ointment, and then put a band-aid over it.
For a bruise, prop the area up on a pillow. Apply an ice pack wrapped in a towel to help ease the swelling. Don't keep ice on it for more than 10 minutes.
With a light burn, put it in cool, running water for about 10 minutes. Don't use ice. When it feels a little better, you can use aloe vera gel on it.
Ask your parents where your first aid kit is. If your home doesn't have one yet, buy one, or put one together with your parents.
3. Recognizing Trouble
3-1. Don't go in your house if you see a broken window or open door.
If you come home and you see something not right, don't go in the house. A broken window could mean someone is inside. It's better to stay safe. Go to a neighbor or friend's house and call 9-1-1. You can even go back to school if you need to.
3-2. Don't let people you know in if it doesn't feel right.
Even if you know an adult who's knocking on the door, you don't have to let them in if it doesn't feel right. Sometimes, even adults you know may not have good intentions. Trust your gut, and call your parents if you're not sure.
Some families have code words, so if your parents send someone to help that you don't know, you'll know it's okay. Then you can ask for the code word if someone says your parents sent them.
3-3. Check out strange noises.
Of course, many houses make odd noises from time to time, usually because the house is settling. However, if you hear a noise that's out of the ordinary, you should check it out. If you notice signs of trouble, take action.
For instance, if you notice signs of someone breaking in, get out of the house if you can and run to a neighbor's for safety.
3-4. Pay attention to warning signs.
Your home is likely equipped with both smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors. When these go off, don't ignore them. If you don't know what to do, it's best to get out of the house, and dial 9-1-1 at a neighbor's house.
If you notice that something is smoking, it's likely time to call 9-1-1 so the fire department can help you. You can try to work a fire extinguisher if your parents have shown you how to use one. However, if the fire is more than a very small one, get out of the house.
Also, if your house has a gas stove or heater, always pay attention to gas smells. The carbon monoxide detector should warn you, but it's always best to get out of the house if you smell gas. Natural gas has an additive to make it smell like rotten eggs.
Tips
If you have a pet, specifically a dog, keep them near you as they can help you feel safe.
If you are home alone, and are scared something may happen, feel free to call your parents. They will reassure you that everything is fine.
If you don't know your parent's phone number but your parents need to leave you home alone, consider writing it down on paper and keeping it with you in an emergency.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preventing Danger\\n1-1. Follow your parents' rules.\\nYour parents want you to stay safe. That's why they have rules. If you're not sure what the rules are, sit down with your parents and write out a list together, so you both have something to refer to.\\nThe rules might cover who you can have over (if anyone), whether you can go outside, and whether you can take phone calls.\\n1-2. Lock the doors and windows.\\nWhile break-ins are unusual, they can happen. The best thing you can do is keep the doors and windows locked when you're inside. That way, someone can't just walk in without your permission.\\nIf your family has an alarm, learn how to set it so it can protect you while you're home. Set the alarm to \\\"Stay\\\", preferably \\\"Instant\\\", so that police are notified in the event of a break-in.\\n1-3. Avoid opening the door to people you don't know.\\nIf someone comes to the door, it's best to ignore it if you don't know the person. If the person is delivering a package, ask them to leave it or come back later. Don't tell them you're by yourself.\\nIt's also important not to tell people over the phone that you're by yourself at home. If someone calls for your parents, you can say, \\\"They can't come to the phone right now. Can I have them call you back?\\\"\\n1-4. Stay away from dangerous items in the house.\\nEven though you're home alone, you don't have free rein to do anything you want. You still need to stay away from dangerous things. Don't play with matches, knives, or guns, for instance. Also, don't take medications unless you know what you're doing. Don't mix chemicals and cleaners you find around the house, as it can create fumes or liquids that can hurt you.\\n1-5. Call your parents if you need to.\\nIf something happens or you don't know what to do, call your parents or another trusted adult. They can walk you through the situation so you feel safe again.\\nIt's best to know your parents' cell phone numbers by heart, so you'll always be able to call even if you can't see the list of emergency numbers.\\n2. Handling Emergencies\\n2-1. Have emergency numbers ready.\\nIf something happens, you need to be ready. The main emergency number you need to know is 9-1-1 (in the United States). They can help with emergencies like fires, someone breaking in, or injuries. But you should only call them when it's truly an emergency. If you get a small cut, that's not a reason to call 9-1-1.\\nKeep other emergency numbers on hand, such as your parents' numbers, as well as other people you can call if you have an issue, such as a neighbor or family member.\\nIf you don't have these numbers handy, ask your parents to make a list and post it up for you to see easily.\\n2-2. Practice what to say during an emergency call.\\nWhen you call 9-1-1, the operator will want to know a few things. They'll want to know where you are (your address) and what's wrong. They'll also want to know your phone number so they can call back if needed. Try running through a practice call with your parents.\\n2-3. Run through practice emergencies with your parents.\\nIf something crazy happens, you may want to panic. Most people do. It's important to stay calm, though. One way you can learn to stay calm is to go over what to do when things happen with your parents ahead of time.\\nThings can go wrong in a house, such as a toilet overflowing, the smoke alarm going off, or something catching on fire in the kitchen. Ask your parents to go over potential problems with you.\\n2-4. Learn where the emergency exits are.\\nYou need to be able to know how to get out of your house in different ways. Of course, the back and front doors are good options. If there's a fire, though, you may need to escape through a window to get to safety.\\nAsk your parents to go over the best ways out of the house.\\n2-5. Learn the basics of first aid.\\nIf you're at home alone, you need to know how to deal with getting a cut or a burn. If you have a bad cut or burn, you can call 9-1-1, but if you're only a little hurt, you can fix it yourself.\\nFor instance, for a cut, wash your hands, then hold a clean cloth against it to stop the bleeding. Rinse out the cut with cool water. Use antibiotic ointment, and then put a band-aid over it.\\nFor a bruise, prop the area up on a pillow. Apply an ice pack wrapped in a towel to help ease the swelling. Don't keep ice on it for more than 10 minutes.\\nWith a light burn, put it in cool, running water for about 10 minutes. Don't use ice. When it feels a little better, you can use aloe vera gel on it.\\nAsk your parents where your first aid kit is. If your home doesn't have one yet, buy one, or put one together with your parents.\\n3. Recognizing Trouble\\n3-1. Don't go in your house if you see a broken window or open door.\\nIf you come home and you see something not right, don't go in the house. A broken window could mean someone is inside. It's better to stay safe. Go to a neighbor or friend's house and call 9-1-1. You can even go back to school if you need to.\\n3-2. Don't let people you know in if it doesn't feel right.\\nEven if you know an adult who's knocking on the door, you don't have to let them in if it doesn't feel right. Sometimes, even adults you know may not have good intentions. Trust your gut, and call your parents if you're not sure.\\nSome families have code words, so if your parents send someone to help that you don't know, you'll know it's okay. Then you can ask for the code word if someone says your parents sent them.\\n3-3. Check out strange noises.\\nOf course, many houses make odd noises from time to time, usually because the house is settling. However, if you hear a noise that's out of the ordinary, you should check it out. If you notice signs of trouble, take action.\\nFor instance, if you notice signs of someone breaking in, get out of the house if you can and run to a neighbor's for safety.\\n3-4. Pay attention to warning signs.\\nYour home is likely equipped with both smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors. When these go off, don't ignore them. If you don't know what to do, it's best to get out of the house, and dial 9-1-1 at a neighbor's house.\\nIf you notice that something is smoking, it's likely time to call 9-1-1 so the fire department can help you. You can try to work a fire extinguisher if your parents have shown you how to use one. However, if the fire is more than a very small one, get out of the house.\\nAlso, if your house has a gas stove or heater, always pay attention to gas smells. The carbon monoxide detector should warn you, but it's always best to get out of the house if you smell gas. Natural gas has an additive to make it smell like rotten eggs.\\nTips\\nIf you have a pet, specifically a dog, keep them near you as they can help you feel safe.\\nIf you are home alone, and are scared something may happen, feel free to call your parents. They will reassure you that everything is fine.\\nIf you don't know your parent's phone number but your parents need to leave you home alone, consider writing it down on paper and keeping it with you in an emergency.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You get to stay home alone! You're probably excited, but you also might be a little nervous. That's perfectly normal. You're being faced with new responsibilities. Don't worry, though, you can take steps to prevent danger while you're at home, as well as learn what to do if an emergency does happen.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preventing Danger\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow your parents' rules.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents want you to stay safe. That's why they have rules. If you're not sure what the rules are, sit down with your parents and write out a list together, so you both have something to refer to.\\nThe rules might cover who you can have over (if anyone), whether you can go outside, and whether you can take phone calls.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Lock the doors and windows.\", \"描述\": \"While break-ins are unusual, they can happen. The best thing you can do is keep the doors and windows locked when you're inside. That way, someone can't just walk in without your permission.\\nIf your family has an alarm, learn how to set it so it can protect you while you're home. Set the alarm to \\\"Stay\\\", preferably \\\"Instant\\\", so that police are notified in the event of a break-in.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid opening the door to people you don't know.\", \"描述\": \"If someone comes to the door, it's best to ignore it if you don't know the person. If the person is delivering a package, ask them to leave it or come back later. Don't tell them you're by yourself.\\nIt's also important not to tell people over the phone that you're by yourself at home. If someone calls for your parents, you can say, \\\"They can't come to the phone right now. Can I have them call you back?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay away from dangerous items in the house.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you're home alone, you don't have free rein to do anything you want. You still need to stay away from dangerous things. Don't play with matches, knives, or guns, for instance. Also, don't take medications unless you know what you're doing. Don't mix chemicals and cleaners you find around the house, as it can create fumes or liquids that can hurt you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Call your parents if you need to.\", \"描述\": \"If something happens or you don't know what to do, call your parents or another trusted adult. They can walk you through the situation so you feel safe again.\\nIt's best to know your parents' cell phone numbers by heart, so you'll always be able to call even if you can't see the list of emergency numbers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Handling Emergencies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have emergency numbers ready.\", \"描述\": \"If something happens, you need to be ready. The main emergency number you need to know is 9-1-1 (in the United States). They can help with emergencies like fires, someone breaking in, or injuries. But you should only call them when it's truly an emergency. If you get a small cut, that's not a reason to call 9-1-1.\\nKeep other emergency numbers on hand, such as your parents' numbers, as well as other people you can call if you have an issue, such as a neighbor or family member.\\nIf you don't have these numbers handy, ask your parents to make a list and post it up for you to see easily.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice what to say during an emergency call.\", \"描述\": \"When you call 9-1-1, the operator will want to know a few things. They'll want to know where you are (your address) and what's wrong. They'll also want to know your phone number so they can call back if needed. Try running through a practice call with your parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Run through practice emergencies with your parents.\", \"描述\": \"If something crazy happens, you may want to panic. Most people do. It's important to stay calm, though. One way you can learn to stay calm is to go over what to do when things happen with your parents ahead of time.\\nThings can go wrong in a house, such as a toilet overflowing, the smoke alarm going off, or something catching on fire in the kitchen. Ask your parents to go over potential problems with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn where the emergency exits are.\", \"描述\": \"You need to be able to know how to get out of your house in different ways. Of course, the back and front doors are good options. If there's a fire, though, you may need to escape through a window to get to safety.\\nAsk your parents to go over the best ways out of the house.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn the basics of first aid.\", \"描述\": \"If you're at home alone, you need to know how to deal with getting a cut or a burn. If you have a bad cut or burn, you can call 9-1-1, but if you're only a little hurt, you can fix it yourself.\\nFor instance, for a cut, wash your hands, then hold a clean cloth against it to stop the bleeding. Rinse out the cut with cool water. Use antibiotic ointment, and then put a band-aid over it.\\nFor a bruise, prop the area up on a pillow. Apply an ice pack wrapped in a towel to help ease the swelling. Don't keep ice on it for more than 10 minutes.\\nWith a light burn, put it in cool, running water for about 10 minutes. Don't use ice. When it feels a little better, you can use aloe vera gel on it.\\nAsk your parents where your first aid kit is. If your home doesn't have one yet, buy one, or put one together with your parents.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognizing Trouble\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't go in your house if you see a broken window or open door.\", \"描述\": \"If you come home and you see something not right, don't go in the house. A broken window could mean someone is inside. It's better to stay safe. Go to a neighbor or friend's house and call 9-1-1. You can even go back to school if you need to.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't let people you know in if it doesn't feel right.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you know an adult who's knocking on the door, you don't have to let them in if it doesn't feel right. Sometimes, even adults you know may not have good intentions. Trust your gut, and call your parents if you're not sure.\\nSome families have code words, so if your parents send someone to help that you don't know, you'll know it's okay. Then you can ask for the code word if someone says your parents sent them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check out strange noises.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, many houses make odd noises from time to time, usually because the house is settling. However, if you hear a noise that's out of the ordinary, you should check it out. If you notice signs of trouble, take action.\\nFor instance, if you notice signs of someone breaking in, get out of the house if you can and run to a neighbor's for safety.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to warning signs.\", \"描述\": \"Your home is likely equipped with both smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors. When these go off, don't ignore them. If you don't know what to do, it's best to get out of the house, and dial 9-1-1 at a neighbor's house.\\nIf you notice that something is smoking, it's likely time to call 9-1-1 so the fire department can help you. You can try to work a fire extinguisher if your parents have shown you how to use one. However, if the fire is more than a very small one, get out of the house.\\nAlso, if your house has a gas stove or heater, always pay attention to gas smells. The carbon monoxide detector should warn you, but it's always best to get out of the house if you smell gas. Natural gas has an additive to make it smell like rotten eggs.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have a pet, specifically a dog, keep them near you as they can help you feel safe.\\n\", \"If you are home alone, and are scared something may happen, feel free to call your parents. They will reassure you that everything is fine.\\n\", \"If you don't know your parent's phone number but your parents need to leave you home alone, consider writing it down on paper and keeping it with you in an emergency.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,117 | How to Be Safe While Flying | 1. Fastening Your Seat Belt
1-1. Learn how to fasten your seat belt.
Insert the metal tip into the buckle until it clicks, then pull on the strap to tighten. To unfasten, lift on the flap of the buckle.
1-2. Fasten your seat belt whenever the "Fasten seat belt" sign is lit.
During this period, it is dangerous to get out of your seat because of rough air or gravity. If you are in an airplane lavatory, wash your hands and move back to your seat.
1-3. Fasten your seat belt whenever you are seated.
In the event of unexpected turbulence, you will not be thrown up into the overhead compartment.
1-4. Fasten your seat belt during an emergency.
This means that there is any reason that the plane needs to be grounded, including a loss of cabin pressure, a plane engine failure, the loss of adequate fuel, plane malfunction, etc.
1-5. Fasten your seat belt whenever instructed to do so.
This is not an exhaustive list on when you should fasten your seatbelt, but if a flight attendant or the captain determines that seatbelts need to be fastened, they will instruct you to put it on.
1-6. Fasten your seat belt over blankets.
During long flights, it may feel good to take a long nap onboard, but in order to not be disturbed by a flight attendant, make sure that your seat belt is visible when you are sleeping.
2. Following Rules Regarding Portable Electronic Devices (PEDs)
2-1. Turn off your PEDs or place your PEDs in airplane/flight or non-transmitting mode during taxi, takeoff, and landing.
During these periods, communication with Air Traffic Control is essential for a safe takeoff and landing. Using such PEDs may cause interference with aircraft equipment, putting other passengers and yourself in danger.
2-2. Place your PEDs in airplane mode throughout the flight.
Transmitting devices can be dangerous whenever the plane is airborne. Most air carriers and the FCC require that PEDs are placed in airplane mode whenever the boarding door is closed. This ensures that no electronic devices are transmitting during the flight at any time.
2-3. Accept that certain PEDs cannot be used during the flight.
Depending on the device, you may have to power down the device fully for part or all of the flight.
Phones and tablets may be used in airplane mode during the flight at any time as long as they are secure. If the device transmits and does not have an airplane mode, then it may not be used.
Laptops and large tablets need to be stowed away under the seat in front of you (or underneath your seat) during taxi, takeoff, and landing.
Radio equipment, including remote control toys, FM/AM radio, and walkie-talkies, may not be used at any time during the flight, as well as any transmitting device that does not have an airplane mode.
2-4. Understand when you can use PEDs.
PEDs may be used whenever the flight attendant or captain informs you (in addition to the above), and need to be shut off whenever the "Please turn off electronic devices" light is lit.
3. Dealing with Emergencies
3-1. Be ready to use your oxygen mask should there be a loss of air.
Oxygen masks will drop down from the panel above you. Fasten your seatbelt, and pull the mask towards you to start the flow of oxygen. Slip the elastic band over your head, and tighten using the straps on either side of the mask. Do not worry if the plastic bag does not inflate, just breathe normally.
Remember to put your mask on first, before assisting anyone else with theirs.
3-2. Locate your nearest emergency exit.
They are usually marked with the words "Exit" or the equivalent in another language. Lights and strips throughout the cabin will also help guide you to them in a power loss or the presence of smoke or fog.
They may be behind you, as well.
3-3. Understand that if you are seated near an emergency exit, you may have to assist other passengers in an evacuation.
If you are unwilling or unable to assist other passengers in an emergency, then ask a flight attendant to reseat you.
3-4. Know how to operate an emergency exit.
These exits are heavy, and open by pulling a strap or a handle. Some emergency exits are equipped with an exit slide that may or may not be detachable, other emergency exits have stairs or require you to climb on the wing.
3-5. Know when it is safe to open an emergency exit.
If you see smoke, fire, water, or anything that may endanger the passengers onboard, then find a different exit.
3-6. Learn how to put on a life vest.
They are usually located underneath or next to your seat. Tear the pouch open, wrap the buckle or string around you, and tighten. Then, inflate the life vest by pulling on the tabs, or blowing into the tubes. Some life vests are designed for young children, others are equipped with water-activated locator lights.
3-7. Know how to evacuate.
Brace yourself for landing, unfasten your seat belt, proceed to the nearest emergency exit, and hop onto the evacuation slide or step down the stairs. If on water, then be sure to put on a life vest, or use the seat cushions for flotation.
4. Understanding Other Important Safety Information
4-1. Do not smoke onboard the aircraft (includes e-cigarettes).
There is the risk of fires caused by burning cigarettes, it is bad for you and others since the cabin is pressurized, and it is illegal. Tampering with smoke detectors onboard the aircraft is also forbidden, and can result in large fines.
4-2. Follow all crew member instructions, posted placards, and lighted information signs.
They exist for your own safety and as a reminder of what is legal and what is not legal onboard the aircraft.
4-3. Do not discuss anything about hijacking, explosives, bombs, guns, knives, or other dangerous weapons onboard the airplane.
Wear headphones if you are watching a movie or playing a game with such sound effects to avoid being mistaken for a hijacker or terrorist.
4-4. Be courteous to others.
Airlines have no problems with removing people from aircraft who pose a nuisance to other passengers. Do not open nuts onboard the plane if someone has a nut allergy on board, and if a passenger asks you to stop what you are doing for whatever reason, stop.
4-5. Be hygienic.
Airplanes are one place that infections can spread because space is closed. Do not change babies anywhere except on baby changing tables in the lavatories, and wash your hands after you are done using the lavatory.
You should assume that others are not/were not hygienic before you, so take caution when eating foods off of tables, seats, seat pockets, and other places onboard aircraft.
4-6. Prepare for takeoff.
Place your electronic devices in airplane mode, or turn them off and stow them away, make sure that your tray tables are up, your seat backs are upright, your window blinds are open, your armrests are down, and your monitors are folded back while the flight attendants walk in.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Fastening Your Seat Belt\\n1-1. Learn how to fasten your seat belt.\\nInsert the metal tip into the buckle until it clicks, then pull on the strap to tighten. To unfasten, lift on the flap of the buckle.\\n1-2. Fasten your seat belt whenever the \\\"Fasten seat belt\\\" sign is lit.\\nDuring this period, it is dangerous to get out of your seat because of rough air or gravity. If you are in an airplane lavatory, wash your hands and move back to your seat.\\n1-3. Fasten your seat belt whenever you are seated.\\nIn the event of unexpected turbulence, you will not be thrown up into the overhead compartment.\\n1-4. Fasten your seat belt during an emergency.\\nThis means that there is any reason that the plane needs to be grounded, including a loss of cabin pressure, a plane engine failure, the loss of adequate fuel, plane malfunction, etc.\\n1-5. Fasten your seat belt whenever instructed to do so.\\nThis is not an exhaustive list on when you should fasten your seatbelt, but if a flight attendant or the captain determines that seatbelts need to be fastened, they will instruct you to put it on.\\n1-6. Fasten your seat belt over blankets.\\nDuring long flights, it may feel good to take a long nap onboard, but in order to not be disturbed by a flight attendant, make sure that your seat belt is visible when you are sleeping.\\n2. Following Rules Regarding Portable Electronic Devices (PEDs)\\n2-1. Turn off your PEDs or place your PEDs in airplane/flight or non-transmitting mode during taxi, takeoff, and landing.\\nDuring these periods, communication with Air Traffic Control is essential for a safe takeoff and landing. Using such PEDs may cause interference with aircraft equipment, putting other passengers and yourself in danger.\\n2-2. Place your PEDs in airplane mode throughout the flight.\\nTransmitting devices can be dangerous whenever the plane is airborne. Most air carriers and the FCC require that PEDs are placed in airplane mode whenever the boarding door is closed. This ensures that no electronic devices are transmitting during the flight at any time.\\n2-3. Accept that certain PEDs cannot be used during the flight.\\nDepending on the device, you may have to power down the device fully for part or all of the flight.\\nPhones and tablets may be used in airplane mode during the flight at any time as long as they are secure. If the device transmits and does not have an airplane mode, then it may not be used.\\nLaptops and large tablets need to be stowed away under the seat in front of you (or underneath your seat) during taxi, takeoff, and landing.\\nRadio equipment, including remote control toys, FM/AM radio, and walkie-talkies, may not be used at any time during the flight, as well as any transmitting device that does not have an airplane mode.\\n2-4. Understand when you can use PEDs.\\nPEDs may be used whenever the flight attendant or captain informs you (in addition to the above), and need to be shut off whenever the \\\"Please turn off electronic devices\\\" light is lit.\\n3. Dealing with Emergencies\\n3-1. Be ready to use your oxygen mask should there be a loss of air.\\nOxygen masks will drop down from the panel above you. Fasten your seatbelt, and pull the mask towards you to start the flow of oxygen. Slip the elastic band over your head, and tighten using the straps on either side of the mask. Do not worry if the plastic bag does not inflate, just breathe normally.\\nRemember to put your mask on first, before assisting anyone else with theirs.\\n3-2. Locate your nearest emergency exit.\\nThey are usually marked with the words \\\"Exit\\\" or the equivalent in another language. Lights and strips throughout the cabin will also help guide you to them in a power loss or the presence of smoke or fog.\\nThey may be behind you, as well.\\n3-3. Understand that if you are seated near an emergency exit, you may have to assist other passengers in an evacuation.\\nIf you are unwilling or unable to assist other passengers in an emergency, then ask a flight attendant to reseat you.\\n3-4. Know how to operate an emergency exit.\\nThese exits are heavy, and open by pulling a strap or a handle. Some emergency exits are equipped with an exit slide that may or may not be detachable, other emergency exits have stairs or require you to climb on the wing.\\n3-5. Know when it is safe to open an emergency exit.\\nIf you see smoke, fire, water, or anything that may endanger the passengers onboard, then find a different exit.\\n3-6. Learn how to put on a life vest.\\nThey are usually located underneath or next to your seat. Tear the pouch open, wrap the buckle or string around you, and tighten. Then, inflate the life vest by pulling on the tabs, or blowing into the tubes. Some life vests are designed for young children, others are equipped with water-activated locator lights.\\n3-7. Know how to evacuate.\\nBrace yourself for landing, unfasten your seat belt, proceed to the nearest emergency exit, and hop onto the evacuation slide or step down the stairs. If on water, then be sure to put on a life vest, or use the seat cushions for flotation.\\n4. Understanding Other Important Safety Information\\n4-1. Do not smoke onboard the aircraft (includes e-cigarettes).\\nThere is the risk of fires caused by burning cigarettes, it is bad for you and others since the cabin is pressurized, and it is illegal. Tampering with smoke detectors onboard the aircraft is also forbidden, and can result in large fines.\\n4-2. Follow all crew member instructions, posted placards, and lighted information signs.\\nThey exist for your own safety and as a reminder of what is legal and what is not legal onboard the aircraft.\\n4-3. Do not discuss anything about hijacking, explosives, bombs, guns, knives, or other dangerous weapons onboard the airplane.\\nWear headphones if you are watching a movie or playing a game with such sound effects to avoid being mistaken for a hijacker or terrorist.\\n4-4. Be courteous to others.\\nAirlines have no problems with removing people from aircraft who pose a nuisance to other passengers. Do not open nuts onboard the plane if someone has a nut allergy on board, and if a passenger asks you to stop what you are doing for whatever reason, stop.\\n4-5. Be hygienic.\\nAirplanes are one place that infections can spread because space is closed. Do not change babies anywhere except on baby changing tables in the lavatories, and wash your hands after you are done using the lavatory.\\nYou should assume that others are not/were not hygienic before you, so take caution when eating foods off of tables, seats, seat pockets, and other places onboard aircraft.\\n4-6. Prepare for takeoff.\\nPlace your electronic devices in airplane mode, or turn them off and stow them away, make sure that your tray tables are up, your seat backs are upright, your window blinds are open, your armrests are down, and your monitors are folded back while the flight attendants walk in.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Flying may seem scary, but it's, relatively, a very safe way to travel. However, there are still some things you will need to know while flying. This wikiHow will teach you how to be safe during flight.\\n\\nPlease refer to the safety information card located in your seat pocket and/or the safety demonstration for safety information related to the particular aircraft you are on board.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fastening Your Seat Belt\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn how to fasten your seat belt.\", \"描述\": \"Insert the metal tip into the buckle until it clicks, then pull on the strap to tighten. To unfasten, lift on the flap of the buckle.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fasten your seat belt whenever the \\\"Fasten seat belt\\\" sign is lit.\", \"描述\": \"During this period, it is dangerous to get out of your seat because of rough air or gravity. If you are in an airplane lavatory, wash your hands and move back to your seat.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fasten your seat belt whenever you are seated.\", \"描述\": \"In the event of unexpected turbulence, you will not be thrown up into the overhead compartment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fasten your seat belt during an emergency.\", \"描述\": \"This means that there is any reason that the plane needs to be grounded, including a loss of cabin pressure, a plane engine failure, the loss of adequate fuel, plane malfunction, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Fasten your seat belt whenever instructed to do so.\", \"描述\": \"This is not an exhaustive list on when you should fasten your seatbelt, but if a flight attendant or the captain determines that seatbelts need to be fastened, they will instruct you to put it on.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Fasten your seat belt over blankets.\", \"描述\": \"During long flights, it may feel good to take a long nap onboard, but in order to not be disturbed by a flight attendant, make sure that your seat belt is visible when you are sleeping.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Following Rules Regarding Portable Electronic Devices (PEDs)\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Turn off your PEDs or place your PEDs in airplane/flight or non-transmitting mode during taxi, takeoff, and landing.\", \"描述\": \"During these periods, communication with Air Traffic Control is essential for a safe takeoff and landing. Using such PEDs may cause interference with aircraft equipment, putting other passengers and yourself in danger.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Place your PEDs in airplane mode throughout the flight.\", \"描述\": \"Transmitting devices can be dangerous whenever the plane is airborne. Most air carriers and the FCC require that PEDs are placed in airplane mode whenever the boarding door is closed. This ensures that no electronic devices are transmitting during the flight at any time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept that certain PEDs cannot be used during the flight.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the device, you may have to power down the device fully for part or all of the flight.\\nPhones and tablets may be used in airplane mode during the flight at any time as long as they are secure. If the device transmits and does not have an airplane mode, then it may not be used.\\nLaptops and large tablets need to be stowed away under the seat in front of you (or underneath your seat) during taxi, takeoff, and landing.\\nRadio equipment, including remote control toys, FM/AM radio, and walkie-talkies, may not be used at any time during the flight, as well as any transmitting device that does not have an airplane mode.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand when you can use PEDs.\", \"描述\": \"PEDs may be used whenever the flight attendant or captain informs you (in addition to the above), and need to be shut off whenever the \\\"Please turn off electronic devices\\\" light is lit.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Emergencies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be ready to use your oxygen mask should there be a loss of air.\", \"描述\": \"Oxygen masks will drop down from the panel above you. Fasten your seatbelt, and pull the mask towards you to start the flow of oxygen. Slip the elastic band over your head, and tighten using the straps on either side of the mask. Do not worry if the plastic bag does not inflate, just breathe normally.\\nRemember to put your mask on first, before assisting anyone else with theirs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Locate your nearest emergency exit.\", \"描述\": \"They are usually marked with the words \\\"Exit\\\" or the equivalent in another language. Lights and strips throughout the cabin will also help guide you to them in a power loss or the presence of smoke or fog.\\nThey may be behind you, as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand that if you are seated near an emergency exit, you may have to assist other passengers in an evacuation.\", \"描述\": \"If you are unwilling or unable to assist other passengers in an emergency, then ask a flight attendant to reseat you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know how to operate an emergency exit.\", \"描述\": \"These exits are heavy, and open by pulling a strap or a handle. Some emergency exits are equipped with an exit slide that may or may not be detachable, other emergency exits have stairs or require you to climb on the wing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know when it is safe to open an emergency exit.\", \"描述\": \"If you see smoke, fire, water, or anything that may endanger the passengers onboard, then find a different exit.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn how to put on a life vest.\", \"描述\": \"They are usually located underneath or next to your seat. Tear the pouch open, wrap the buckle or string around you, and tighten. Then, inflate the life vest by pulling on the tabs, or blowing into the tubes. Some life vests are designed for young children, others are equipped with water-activated locator lights.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Know how to evacuate.\", \"描述\": \"Brace yourself for landing, unfasten your seat belt, proceed to the nearest emergency exit, and hop onto the evacuation slide or step down the stairs. If on water, then be sure to put on a life vest, or use the seat cushions for flotation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understanding Other Important Safety Information\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not smoke onboard the aircraft (includes e-cigarettes).\", \"描述\": \"There is the risk of fires caused by burning cigarettes, it is bad for you and others since the cabin is pressurized, and it is illegal. Tampering with smoke detectors onboard the aircraft is also forbidden, and can result in large fines.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow all crew member instructions, posted placards, and lighted information signs.\", \"描述\": \"They exist for your own safety and as a reminder of what is legal and what is not legal onboard the aircraft.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not discuss anything about hijacking, explosives, bombs, guns, knives, or other dangerous weapons onboard the airplane.\", \"描述\": \"Wear headphones if you are watching a movie or playing a game with such sound effects to avoid being mistaken for a hijacker or terrorist.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be courteous to others.\", \"描述\": \"Airlines have no problems with removing people from aircraft who pose a nuisance to other passengers. Do not open nuts onboard the plane if someone has a nut allergy on board, and if a passenger asks you to stop what you are doing for whatever reason, stop.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be hygienic.\", \"描述\": \"Airplanes are one place that infections can spread because space is closed. Do not change babies anywhere except on baby changing tables in the lavatories, and wash your hands after you are done using the lavatory.\\nYou should assume that others are not/were not hygienic before you, so take caution when eating foods off of tables, seats, seat pockets, and other places onboard aircraft.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Prepare for takeoff.\", \"描述\": \"Place your electronic devices in airplane mode, or turn them off and stow them away, make sure that your tray tables are up, your seat backs are upright, your window blinds are open, your armrests are down, and your monitors are folded back while the flight attendants walk in.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,118 | How to Be Safe With Fireworks | 1. Taking Precautions Beforehand
1-1. Protect your eyes and ears.
Get a pair of safety glasses and earplugs for each person who will be setting off fireworks. These can be found at any hardware store and some drug stores. Improperly used fireworks frequently cause eye damage and hearing loss--nearly 40% of fireworks-related injuries occur to the head area.
1-2. Dress appropriately.
Don’t wear loose clothing such as long skirts, jackets, or scarves, which can all catch fire easily. But do try to wear snuggly fitting long sleeves and pants to protect from potential burns.
1-3. Use only legal fireworks.
Only purchase fireworks with a Common Class C rating which means it's intended for the general public to use. Shop only at public fireworks stands licensed to sell fireworks. These shops have expertise and know about the up to date laws and new developments in consumer fireworks so you can be sure you're getting legal fireworks. Legal fireworks will have a manufacturer’s label including safety instructions. If you’re unsure whether a roadside fireworks dealer is selling legally, ask an employee to see their license to sell fireworks in the state.
Illegal fireworks are typically named M-80s, M-100s, or quarter sticks. These are fireworks used as dynamites in mining or in battles by the military. They resemble a cardboard coin tube with a fuse in the middle, and are usually red, brown, or silver. The same also goes for military grenades,
Never buy fireworks from a friend, or someone placing a public advertisement. Even if the items appear professionally made, they could be illegal or in poor condition.
If your area is experiencing severe drought, buying, selling, handling, using pyrotechnics during those conditions is illegal due to wildfire hazards.
1-4. Store them out of reach.
Until you’re ready to use them, keep your fireworks in a cool and dry place where children can’t get to them. Hot temperatures or damp air can damage the fireworks and make it more likely that they will malfunction.
Try putting away your fireworks in a cardboard box, above or in a high cabinet, or on a top shelf.
Avoid putting your stash of fireworks in direct sun, extreme heat, near electronics or heat sources.
1-5. Never carry a firework in your pocket or enclosed in fabric or plastic wrap.
A tiny spark of static electric charge can ignite a firework and it can cause injury or death. Fireworks are often wrapped in a special static proof plastic.
Never handle a firework in your hand for extended periods. This includes the powder part of a sparkler. Heat from your body, static electric charges from clothes can set off the device as well.
1-6. Have water on hand.
Always have a supply of water nearby in case refuse, vegetation, or clothing catch fire. If you can’t find a safe area near a water hose, fill up several buckets of water and bring them with you to the site. To be extra safe, have a fire extinguisher nearby as well.
1-7. Keep children away.
Forbid young children to handle any kind of fireworks. Even sparklers are known to cause severe burns.Ensure that children, and any other spectators, stand far back (at least 50 feet (15.2 m)) from the area where you’ll be lighting the fireworks.
A 2005 study found that more than half of all fireworks injuries to children under 5 years of age were caused by sparklers.
1-8. Set off fireworks only when sober and alert.
Being short of sleep, or under the influence of alcohol or other drugs can affect your judgment and coordination--two things you really need when setting off fireworks. The night before you plan to use fireworks, be sure to get as much sleep as you usually need to function properly. And before using fireworks, be sure to stay away from alcohol or any substances that tend to slow you down or make you feel tired.
1-9. Use caution with pets.
Loud noises can send animals into a panic, and they may run out of the house and be too disoriented to find their way home. Keep your pet indoors or well secured with adequate hiding places if your pet is to be outdoors during the use of fireworks. Know your pet's reaction, as this can vary greatly among individual animals.
There are tricks for calming dogs and cats.
1-10. Check official regulations.
Do an internet search to learn about what types of fireworks, if any, are legal in your state, province, or country. If you can’t buy a certain class of fireworks in your state or province, it is most likely illegal to use that class of fireworks in your state or province.
Misuse of pyrotechnics by not following the safety instructions is in the United States is a felony crime which can lead to arrest and jail time.
Many states in the U.S.A. consider any pyrotechnics that shoots in the air illegal. These regulations vary from region to region. Check with your local government authorities and websites.
2. Choosing an Appropriate Area
2-1. Use fireworks outdoors only.
Most fireworks produce fire and smoke, which can burn or set fire to many interior surfaces, and cause suffocation in small rooms. Even garage areas are unsafe since they typically hold containers of flammable liquids and motor vehicles, which can catch fire and explode if they come into contact with fireworks.
2-2. Avoid setting off loud fireworks in residential or high-occupancy areas.
Veterans, people with PTSD or anxiety issues, autistic people, babies, and other people's pets may be frightened by fireworks. The last thing you want to do is cause a neighbor to have a panic attack or lose a beloved pet that ran away due to fear. If you are lighting fireworks in a residential area, choose very quiet ones, like sparklers.
If you want to enjoy loud fireworks, go to a more remote area to set them off.
Never light loud fireworks near a hospital. Premature babies are extremely stressed by loud noises, and their brains cannot handle a surge in blood pressure due to stress. In one case, two premature twins died after a loud night of fireworks.
2-3. Find an open area.
A flat and wide-open area, with no overhead obstructions such as trees or buildings, will be best for setting off your fireworks. Try to choose an area as far away from residences as possible, to avoid bothering neighbors. And keep cars, gasoline tanks, and other containers of flammable liquids or materials far away from the area where you’ll be setting off fireworks.
2-4. Watch for dry vegetation.
Don’t set off fireworks in an area covered in dry grass, or overgrown with dry weeds. These can easily catch fire if they come into contact with fireworks. For the same reason, never set off fireworks in a forest, which often has dry leaves and dead wood on the ground.
If there has been a drought in your region, check with your city government about possible restrictions or prohibitions for setting off fireworks.
3. Practicing Safety when Setting Off Fireworks
3-1. Follow instructions on the package.
All professionally made, legal fireworks should have igniting instructions on the packaging. Read these carefully, making sure each step is understandable. Take extra care to follow each step for less-typical fireworks such as tanks, boats, and pinwheels.
If possible read the description of new items performance. Look up the item's name in a catalog in print or online. This way you'll at least know what to expect and make better judgments. Many new aerial repeaters now use panoramic/angle shoots that take more space to perform than other traditional ones. The same goes for anything that has aerial spinners or does stunts in the air.
Also skyrockets or missiles can make unexpected changes in direction at any time, more often than aerial performers that mostly shoot straight up.
3-2. Give even the small pyrotechnic devices respect.
It's easy to overlook a small fountain or spinner. However, if misused, they can have serious consequences. The string/confetti poppers, crackers, guns often used during New Years Celebrations can cause fire or body injuries.
3-3. Use longer lighting devices.
Avoid using cigarette lighters or matches to light fireworks, since wicks sometimes emit sparks that can burn your hand if it is too close. Instead, light fireworks with a punk or an extended butane lighter that gives you at least 5 inches (12.7 cm) between your hand and the fuse. Light the fuse only at the very tip to prevent the piece from igniting too soon.
If you are igniting fireworks in the dark, use a headlamp, flashlight, or another non-flammable light source to help you see clearly what you’re lighting.
3-4. Set up the fireworks correctly before igniting.
Place mortars, fountains, repeaters, planes, tanks, and other novelty items on hard flat surfaces like asphalt and concrete, not grass, so it won't tip over. Stick skyrockets and Roman Candles firmly into the ground so they don't fall onto the ground after lighting or so the force of the explosion won't launch the device out of the ground.
3-5. Keep your head away.
When lighting aerial fireworks such as rockets, repeaters, and mortars, do not lean over the top of them when lighting the fuse. Fuses have been known to malfunction and ignite fireworks immediately, without any delay. If this happens and your head is near the path of the projectile, you could suffer serious injury.
Never look into a mortar tube. Sometimes wicks burn unevenly and can ignite the shell after a longer-than-usual delay. Don’t approach the mortar or look into the tube for any reason after a shell fails to ignite.
3-6. Be patient when a firework doesn't go off.
Wait at least 30 minutes before approaching any fireworks that don’t go off. Wearing utility gloves, place the unspent fireworks in a bucket of water.
Don't try to re-ignite any fireworks that don’t go off soon after you light them.
3-7. Light one at a time.
Never ignite more than one shell, rocket, firecracker or other fireworks at a time. They are designed to be lighted individually, and any attempt to light more than one at a time could cause them to malfunction.
For example, do not try to twist or tie fuses together, or light one rocket or mortar shell just after lighting another.
3-8. Do not hold lit fireworks in your hand.
Don't attempt to launch bottle rockets from your hand, or light and throw firecrackers. Always light any fireworks from a flat surface, or in the case of rockets, a pipe or bottle.
3-9. Stand back after lighting.
Most fireworks’ fuses should be long enough to allow you to get at least 20 feet (6.1 m) away from the launch area. Staying any closer increases your risk of getting injured when the fireworks go off. Be sure to clear the area of obstructions, such as tree branches or rocks, that you could trip over when walking or running back from the launch area.
3-10. Keep spectators away and upwind.
Ask anyone who will be watching your fireworks display to stand at least 50 feet (15.2 m) away. And pay attention to the wind direction. Sparks from live fireworks, or spent but still-burning rockets can be blown into spectators by winds. Be sure to position spectators where the wind will be blowing in the direction they’re facing.
For example, if the winds are blowing to the north of the launch area, position the spectators to the south of the launch area.
Don't light fireworks during strong winds. If it’s too windy to ignite your lighter, it’s probably too windy to set off fireworks safely.
Tips
Before throwing away any leftover or spent fireworks, soak them in a bucket of water to reduce their flammability.[16]
X
Research source
Warnings
It is a violation of federal law to carry fireworks onto an airplane.
Do not allow anyone to smoke around fireworks.
Never aim lit projectile fireworks, such as rockets, roman candles, or mortars, at other people.
Do not make or use homemade fireworks, and don't alter legal fireworks in any way.
Set off fireworks away from residential or high-occupancy areas. Fireworks can cause severe problems for people with PTSD (and other anxiety issues) and can scare off people's pets. This is especially true if you are setting off fireworks on a day people don't generally expect (and thus expect to hear) fireworks.
Never carry fireworks in your pocket.
Be careful not to drop fireworks.
Be very careful when lighting fireworks around pets, as they may be startled by fire and explosions.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking Precautions Beforehand\\n1-1. Protect your eyes and ears.\\nGet a pair of safety glasses and earplugs for each person who will be setting off fireworks. These can be found at any hardware store and some drug stores. Improperly used fireworks frequently cause eye damage and hearing loss--nearly 40% of fireworks-related injuries occur to the head area.\\n1-2. Dress appropriately.\\nDon’t wear loose clothing such as long skirts, jackets, or scarves, which can all catch fire easily. But do try to wear snuggly fitting long sleeves and pants to protect from potential burns.\\n1-3. Use only legal fireworks.\\nOnly purchase fireworks with a Common Class C rating which means it's intended for the general public to use. Shop only at public fireworks stands licensed to sell fireworks. These shops have expertise and know about the up to date laws and new developments in consumer fireworks so you can be sure you're getting legal fireworks. Legal fireworks will have a manufacturer’s label including safety instructions. If you’re unsure whether a roadside fireworks dealer is selling legally, ask an employee to see their license to sell fireworks in the state.\\nIllegal fireworks are typically named M-80s, M-100s, or quarter sticks. These are fireworks used as dynamites in mining or in battles by the military. They resemble a cardboard coin tube with a fuse in the middle, and are usually red, brown, or silver. The same also goes for military grenades,\\nNever buy fireworks from a friend, or someone placing a public advertisement. Even if the items appear professionally made, they could be illegal or in poor condition.\\nIf your area is experiencing severe drought, buying, selling, handling, using pyrotechnics during those conditions is illegal due to wildfire hazards.\\n1-4. Store them out of reach.\\nUntil you’re ready to use them, keep your fireworks in a cool and dry place where children can’t get to them. Hot temperatures or damp air can damage the fireworks and make it more likely that they will malfunction.\\nTry putting away your fireworks in a cardboard box, above or in a high cabinet, or on a top shelf.\\nAvoid putting your stash of fireworks in direct sun, extreme heat, near electronics or heat sources.\\n1-5. Never carry a firework in your pocket or enclosed in fabric or plastic wrap.\\nA tiny spark of static electric charge can ignite a firework and it can cause injury or death. Fireworks are often wrapped in a special static proof plastic. \\nNever handle a firework in your hand for extended periods. This includes the powder part of a sparkler. Heat from your body, static electric charges from clothes can set off the device as well.\\n1-6. Have water on hand.\\nAlways have a supply of water nearby in case refuse, vegetation, or clothing catch fire. If you can’t find a safe area near a water hose, fill up several buckets of water and bring them with you to the site. To be extra safe, have a fire extinguisher nearby as well.\\n1-7. Keep children away.\\nForbid young children to handle any kind of fireworks. Even sparklers are known to cause severe burns.Ensure that children, and any other spectators, stand far back (at least 50 feet (15.2 m)) from the area where you’ll be lighting the fireworks.\\nA 2005 study found that more than half of all fireworks injuries to children under 5 years of age were caused by sparklers.\\n1-8. Set off fireworks only when sober and alert.\\nBeing short of sleep, or under the influence of alcohol or other drugs can affect your judgment and coordination--two things you really need when setting off fireworks. The night before you plan to use fireworks, be sure to get as much sleep as you usually need to function properly. And before using fireworks, be sure to stay away from alcohol or any substances that tend to slow you down or make you feel tired.\\n1-9. Use caution with pets.\\nLoud noises can send animals into a panic, and they may run out of the house and be too disoriented to find their way home. Keep your pet indoors or well secured with adequate hiding places if your pet is to be outdoors during the use of fireworks. Know your pet's reaction, as this can vary greatly among individual animals. \\nThere are tricks for calming dogs and cats.\\n1-10. Check official regulations.\\nDo an internet search to learn about what types of fireworks, if any, are legal in your state, province, or country. If you can’t buy a certain class of fireworks in your state or province, it is most likely illegal to use that class of fireworks in your state or province. \\nMisuse of pyrotechnics by not following the safety instructions is in the United States is a felony crime which can lead to arrest and jail time.\\nMany states in the U.S.A. consider any pyrotechnics that shoots in the air illegal. These regulations vary from region to region. Check with your local government authorities and websites.\\n2. Choosing an Appropriate Area\\n2-1. Use fireworks outdoors only.\\nMost fireworks produce fire and smoke, which can burn or set fire to many interior surfaces, and cause suffocation in small rooms. Even garage areas are unsafe since they typically hold containers of flammable liquids and motor vehicles, which can catch fire and explode if they come into contact with fireworks.\\n2-2. Avoid setting off loud fireworks in residential or high-occupancy areas.\\nVeterans, people with PTSD or anxiety issues, autistic people, babies, and other people's pets may be frightened by fireworks. The last thing you want to do is cause a neighbor to have a panic attack or lose a beloved pet that ran away due to fear. If you are lighting fireworks in a residential area, choose very quiet ones, like sparklers. \\nIf you want to enjoy loud fireworks, go to a more remote area to set them off.\\nNever light loud fireworks near a hospital. Premature babies are extremely stressed by loud noises, and their brains cannot handle a surge in blood pressure due to stress. In one case, two premature twins died after a loud night of fireworks.\\n2-3. Find an open area.\\nA flat and wide-open area, with no overhead obstructions such as trees or buildings, will be best for setting off your fireworks. Try to choose an area as far away from residences as possible, to avoid bothering neighbors. And keep cars, gasoline tanks, and other containers of flammable liquids or materials far away from the area where you’ll be setting off fireworks.\\n2-4. Watch for dry vegetation.\\nDon’t set off fireworks in an area covered in dry grass, or overgrown with dry weeds. These can easily catch fire if they come into contact with fireworks. For the same reason, never set off fireworks in a forest, which often has dry leaves and dead wood on the ground.\\nIf there has been a drought in your region, check with your city government about possible restrictions or prohibitions for setting off fireworks.\\n3. Practicing Safety when Setting Off Fireworks\\n3-1. Follow instructions on the package.\\nAll professionally made, legal fireworks should have igniting instructions on the packaging. Read these carefully, making sure each step is understandable. Take extra care to follow each step for less-typical fireworks such as tanks, boats, and pinwheels.\\nIf possible read the description of new items performance. Look up the item's name in a catalog in print or online. This way you'll at least know what to expect and make better judgments. Many new aerial repeaters now use panoramic/angle shoots that take more space to perform than other traditional ones. The same goes for anything that has aerial spinners or does stunts in the air.\\nAlso skyrockets or missiles can make unexpected changes in direction at any time, more often than aerial performers that mostly shoot straight up.\\n3-2. Give even the small pyrotechnic devices respect.\\nIt's easy to overlook a small fountain or spinner. However, if misused, they can have serious consequences. The string/confetti poppers, crackers, guns often used during New Years Celebrations can cause fire or body injuries.\\n3-3. Use longer lighting devices.\\nAvoid using cigarette lighters or matches to light fireworks, since wicks sometimes emit sparks that can burn your hand if it is too close. Instead, light fireworks with a punk or an extended butane lighter that gives you at least 5 inches (12.7 cm) between your hand and the fuse. Light the fuse only at the very tip to prevent the piece from igniting too soon.\\nIf you are igniting fireworks in the dark, use a headlamp, flashlight, or another non-flammable light source to help you see clearly what you’re lighting.\\n3-4. Set up the fireworks correctly before igniting.\\nPlace mortars, fountains, repeaters, planes, tanks, and other novelty items on hard flat surfaces like asphalt and concrete, not grass, so it won't tip over. Stick skyrockets and Roman Candles firmly into the ground so they don't fall onto the ground after lighting or so the force of the explosion won't launch the device out of the ground.\\n3-5. Keep your head away.\\nWhen lighting aerial fireworks such as rockets, repeaters, and mortars, do not lean over the top of them when lighting the fuse. Fuses have been known to malfunction and ignite fireworks immediately, without any delay. If this happens and your head is near the path of the projectile, you could suffer serious injury.\\nNever look into a mortar tube. Sometimes wicks burn unevenly and can ignite the shell after a longer-than-usual delay. Don’t approach the mortar or look into the tube for any reason after a shell fails to ignite.\\n3-6. Be patient when a firework doesn't go off.\\nWait at least 30 minutes before approaching any fireworks that don’t go off. Wearing utility gloves, place the unspent fireworks in a bucket of water.\\nDon't try to re-ignite any fireworks that don’t go off soon after you light them.\\n3-7. Light one at a time.\\nNever ignite more than one shell, rocket, firecracker or other fireworks at a time. They are designed to be lighted individually, and any attempt to light more than one at a time could cause them to malfunction.\\nFor example, do not try to twist or tie fuses together, or light one rocket or mortar shell just after lighting another.\\n3-8. Do not hold lit fireworks in your hand.\\nDon't attempt to launch bottle rockets from your hand, or light and throw firecrackers. Always light any fireworks from a flat surface, or in the case of rockets, a pipe or bottle.\\n3-9. Stand back after lighting.\\nMost fireworks’ fuses should be long enough to allow you to get at least 20 feet (6.1 m) away from the launch area. Staying any closer increases your risk of getting injured when the fireworks go off. Be sure to clear the area of obstructions, such as tree branches or rocks, that you could trip over when walking or running back from the launch area.\\n3-10. Keep spectators away and upwind.\\nAsk anyone who will be watching your fireworks display to stand at least 50 feet (15.2 m) away. And pay attention to the wind direction. Sparks from live fireworks, or spent but still-burning rockets can be blown into spectators by winds. Be sure to position spectators where the wind will be blowing in the direction they’re facing.\\nFor example, if the winds are blowing to the north of the launch area, position the spectators to the south of the launch area.\\nDon't light fireworks during strong winds. If it’s too windy to ignite your lighter, it’s probably too windy to set off fireworks safely.\\nTips\\nBefore throwing away any leftover or spent fireworks, soak them in a bucket of water to reduce their flammability.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nIt is a violation of federal law to carry fireworks onto an airplane.\\nDo not allow anyone to smoke around fireworks.\\nNever aim lit projectile fireworks, such as rockets, roman candles, or mortars, at other people.\\nDo not make or use homemade fireworks, and don't alter legal fireworks in any way.\\nSet off fireworks away from residential or high-occupancy areas. Fireworks can cause severe problems for people with PTSD (and other anxiety issues) and can scare off people's pets. This is especially true if you are setting off fireworks on a day people don't generally expect (and thus expect to hear) fireworks.\\nNever carry fireworks in your pocket.\\nBe careful not to drop fireworks.\\nBe very careful when lighting fireworks around pets, as they may be startled by fire and explosions.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Fireworks have been a major part of many countries' holiday celebrations for centuries. And for just as long, people who set off and watch fireworks have suffered serious injuries or deaths because of poor safety practices. This is especially the case today, as consumer fireworks have become widely available. So it is essential that if you are planning to use fireworks, you go through a series of preparations to ensure proper safety, choose a launching site carefully, and use considerable caution when setting off the fireworks. Keeping in mind these simple steps can help to keep you and your spectators well protected during the fireworks display.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking Precautions Beforehand\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Protect your eyes and ears.\", \"描述\": \"Get a pair of safety glasses and earplugs for each person who will be setting off fireworks. These can be found at any hardware store and some drug stores. Improperly used fireworks frequently cause eye damage and hearing loss--nearly 40% of fireworks-related injuries occur to the head area.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t wear loose clothing such as long skirts, jackets, or scarves, which can all catch fire easily. But do try to wear snuggly fitting long sleeves and pants to protect from potential burns.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use only legal fireworks.\", \"描述\": \"Only purchase fireworks with a Common Class C rating which means it's intended for the general public to use. Shop only at public fireworks stands licensed to sell fireworks. These shops have expertise and know about the up to date laws and new developments in consumer fireworks so you can be sure you're getting legal fireworks. Legal fireworks will have a manufacturer’s label including safety instructions. If you’re unsure whether a roadside fireworks dealer is selling legally, ask an employee to see their license to sell fireworks in the state.\\nIllegal fireworks are typically named M-80s, M-100s, or quarter sticks. These are fireworks used as dynamites in mining or in battles by the military. They resemble a cardboard coin tube with a fuse in the middle, and are usually red, brown, or silver. The same also goes for military grenades,\\nNever buy fireworks from a friend, or someone placing a public advertisement. Even if the items appear professionally made, they could be illegal or in poor condition.\\nIf your area is experiencing severe drought, buying, selling, handling, using pyrotechnics during those conditions is illegal due to wildfire hazards.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Store them out of reach.\", \"描述\": \"Until you’re ready to use them, keep your fireworks in a cool and dry place where children can’t get to them. Hot temperatures or damp air can damage the fireworks and make it more likely that they will malfunction.\\nTry putting away your fireworks in a cardboard box, above or in a high cabinet, or on a top shelf.\\nAvoid putting your stash of fireworks in direct sun, extreme heat, near electronics or heat sources.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Never carry a firework in your pocket or enclosed in fabric or plastic wrap.\", \"描述\": \"A tiny spark of static electric charge can ignite a firework and it can cause injury or death. Fireworks are often wrapped in a special static proof plastic. \\nNever handle a firework in your hand for extended periods. This includes the powder part of a sparkler. Heat from your body, static electric charges from clothes can set off the device as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have water on hand.\", \"描述\": \"Always have a supply of water nearby in case refuse, vegetation, or clothing catch fire. If you can’t find a safe area near a water hose, fill up several buckets of water and bring them with you to the site. To be extra safe, have a fire extinguisher nearby as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep children away.\", \"描述\": \"Forbid young children to handle any kind of fireworks. Even sparklers are known to cause severe burns.Ensure that children, and any other spectators, stand far back (at least 50 feet (15.2 m)) from the area where you’ll be lighting the fireworks.\\nA 2005 study found that more than half of all fireworks injuries to children under 5 years of age were caused by sparklers.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Set off fireworks only when sober and alert.\", \"描述\": \"Being short of sleep, or under the influence of alcohol or other drugs can affect your judgment and coordination--two things you really need when setting off fireworks. The night before you plan to use fireworks, be sure to get as much sleep as you usually need to function properly. And before using fireworks, be sure to stay away from alcohol or any substances that tend to slow you down or make you feel tired.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Use caution with pets.\", \"描述\": \"Loud noises can send animals into a panic, and they may run out of the house and be too disoriented to find their way home. Keep your pet indoors or well secured with adequate hiding places if your pet is to be outdoors during the use of fireworks. Know your pet's reaction, as this can vary greatly among individual animals. \\nThere are tricks for calming dogs and cats.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Check official regulations.\", \"描述\": \"Do an internet search to learn about what types of fireworks, if any, are legal in your state, province, or country. If you can’t buy a certain class of fireworks in your state or province, it is most likely illegal to use that class of fireworks in your state or province. \\nMisuse of pyrotechnics by not following the safety instructions is in the United States is a felony crime which can lead to arrest and jail time.\\nMany states in the U.S.A. consider any pyrotechnics that shoots in the air illegal. These regulations vary from region to region. Check with your local government authorities and websites.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choosing an Appropriate Area\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use fireworks outdoors only.\", \"描述\": \"Most fireworks produce fire and smoke, which can burn or set fire to many interior surfaces, and cause suffocation in small rooms. Even garage areas are unsafe since they typically hold containers of flammable liquids and motor vehicles, which can catch fire and explode if they come into contact with fireworks.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid setting off loud fireworks in residential or high-occupancy areas.\", \"描述\": \"Veterans, people with PTSD or anxiety issues, autistic people, babies, and other people's pets may be frightened by fireworks. The last thing you want to do is cause a neighbor to have a panic attack or lose a beloved pet that ran away due to fear. If you are lighting fireworks in a residential area, choose very quiet ones, like sparklers. \\nIf you want to enjoy loud fireworks, go to a more remote area to set them off.\\nNever light loud fireworks near a hospital. Premature babies are extremely stressed by loud noises, and their brains cannot handle a surge in blood pressure due to stress. In one case, two premature twins died after a loud night of fireworks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find an open area.\", \"描述\": \"A flat and wide-open area, with no overhead obstructions such as trees or buildings, will be best for setting off your fireworks. Try to choose an area as far away from residences as possible, to avoid bothering neighbors. And keep cars, gasoline tanks, and other containers of flammable liquids or materials far away from the area where you’ll be setting off fireworks.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch for dry vegetation.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t set off fireworks in an area covered in dry grass, or overgrown with dry weeds. These can easily catch fire if they come into contact with fireworks. For the same reason, never set off fireworks in a forest, which often has dry leaves and dead wood on the ground.\\nIf there has been a drought in your region, check with your city government about possible restrictions or prohibitions for setting off fireworks.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Safety when Setting Off Fireworks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow instructions on the package.\", \"描述\": \"All professionally made, legal fireworks should have igniting instructions on the packaging. Read these carefully, making sure each step is understandable. Take extra care to follow each step for less-typical fireworks such as tanks, boats, and pinwheels.\\nIf possible read the description of new items performance. Look up the item's name in a catalog in print or online. This way you'll at least know what to expect and make better judgments. Many new aerial repeaters now use panoramic/angle shoots that take more space to perform than other traditional ones. The same goes for anything that has aerial spinners or does stunts in the air.\\nAlso skyrockets or missiles can make unexpected changes in direction at any time, more often than aerial performers that mostly shoot straight up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give even the small pyrotechnic devices respect.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to overlook a small fountain or spinner. However, if misused, they can have serious consequences. The string/confetti poppers, crackers, guns often used during New Years Celebrations can cause fire or body injuries.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use longer lighting devices.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid using cigarette lighters or matches to light fireworks, since wicks sometimes emit sparks that can burn your hand if it is too close. Instead, light fireworks with a punk or an extended butane lighter that gives you at least 5 inches (12.7 cm) between your hand and the fuse. Light the fuse only at the very tip to prevent the piece from igniting too soon.\\nIf you are igniting fireworks in the dark, use a headlamp, flashlight, or another non-flammable light source to help you see clearly what you’re lighting.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set up the fireworks correctly before igniting.\", \"描述\": \"Place mortars, fountains, repeaters, planes, tanks, and other novelty items on hard flat surfaces like asphalt and concrete, not grass, so it won't tip over. Stick skyrockets and Roman Candles firmly into the ground so they don't fall onto the ground after lighting or so the force of the explosion won't launch the device out of the ground.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your head away.\", \"描述\": \"When lighting aerial fireworks such as rockets, repeaters, and mortars, do not lean over the top of them when lighting the fuse. Fuses have been known to malfunction and ignite fireworks immediately, without any delay. If this happens and your head is near the path of the projectile, you could suffer serious injury.\\nNever look into a mortar tube. Sometimes wicks burn unevenly and can ignite the shell after a longer-than-usual delay. Don’t approach the mortar or look into the tube for any reason after a shell fails to ignite.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be patient when a firework doesn't go off.\", \"描述\": \"Wait at least 30 minutes before approaching any fireworks that don’t go off. Wearing utility gloves, place the unspent fireworks in a bucket of water.\\nDon't try to re-ignite any fireworks that don’t go off soon after you light them.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Light one at a time.\", \"描述\": \"Never ignite more than one shell, rocket, firecracker or other fireworks at a time. They are designed to be lighted individually, and any attempt to light more than one at a time could cause them to malfunction.\\nFor example, do not try to twist or tie fuses together, or light one rocket or mortar shell just after lighting another.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Do not hold lit fireworks in your hand.\", \"描述\": \"Don't attempt to launch bottle rockets from your hand, or light and throw firecrackers. Always light any fireworks from a flat surface, or in the case of rockets, a pipe or bottle.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Stand back after lighting.\", \"描述\": \"Most fireworks’ fuses should be long enough to allow you to get at least 20 feet (6.1 m) away from the launch area. Staying any closer increases your risk of getting injured when the fireworks go off. Be sure to clear the area of obstructions, such as tree branches or rocks, that you could trip over when walking or running back from the launch area.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Keep spectators away and upwind.\", \"描述\": \"Ask anyone who will be watching your fireworks display to stand at least 50 feet (15.2 m) away. And pay attention to the wind direction. Sparks from live fireworks, or spent but still-burning rockets can be blown into spectators by winds. Be sure to position spectators where the wind will be blowing in the direction they’re facing.\\nFor example, if the winds are blowing to the north of the launch area, position the spectators to the south of the launch area.\\nDon't light fireworks during strong winds. If it’s too windy to ignite your lighter, it’s probably too windy to set off fireworks safely.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Before throwing away any leftover or spent fireworks, soak them in a bucket of water to reduce their flammability.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"It is a violation of federal law to carry fireworks onto an airplane.\\n\", \"Do not allow anyone to smoke around fireworks.\\n\", \"Never aim lit projectile fireworks, such as rockets, roman candles, or mortars, at other people.\\n\", \"Do not make or use homemade fireworks, and don't alter legal fireworks in any way.\\n\", \"Set off fireworks away from residential or high-occupancy areas. Fireworks can cause severe problems for people with PTSD (and other anxiety issues) and can scare off people's pets. This is especially true if you are setting off fireworks on a day people don't generally expect (and thus expect to hear) fireworks.\\n\", \"Never carry fireworks in your pocket.\\n\", \"Be careful not to drop fireworks.\\n\", \"Be very careful when lighting fireworks around pets, as they may be startled by fire and explosions.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,119 | How to Be Safe and Smart on the Internet | 1. Keeping Your Identity Secure
1-1. Be wary of giving out identifying information on the internet.
Giving away personal information on the internet is like giving away your life. When people are on social networks (Facebook, Myspace, etc.), they often don't realize when they're sharing too much information. There are many ways in which oversharing your personal information can endanger you.
If you need to enter your name on an account, use a nickname or a fake name. Alternately, you could use an incomplete form of your name. For instance, if you need to enter your name on a form, enter "Eric P." instead of your full name, Eric Pillata.
Maximize your account privacy wherever possible. Many sites and messenger services have varying levels of privacy. For instance, you may have the option to share your name, date of birth, and where you go to school in addition to the content you post. Hide this data from everyone except your immediate friends. Explore your account settings to ensure that this information is kept confidential.
Don't post other unique identifying information like your Social Security Number, date of birth, and other data. These are among the most important pieces of information about you, and with them in hand, hackers could easily steal your identity.
Don't use a picture of you as your profile picture on social networks. Put a picture of something that you love instead. For instance, if you love eating grapes, post a picture of grapes on your social media account or chat messenger service of choice. If some malicious person were to discover your real picture, they might use it to locate and harm you.
If you are a minor, always ask your parents what personal information they want you to share online.
Do not overload a user with information, as that user can be hacked and then you sending messages makes you a sitting duck.
1-2. Keep your location private.
Do not give away your location to anyone you do not know online. This means you should not share your address or even the city you reside in. Even the school you attend should remain a secret when chatting or posting online. With just a few details about your location, an internet predator could pretend to be someone you know. For instance, if you tell someone online you live in a certain town, and they know your age, they might be able to pose as someone you know or as someone who lives nearby in order to get you to share important info.
Be careful when posting photos of where you live. A picture in front of your house or near your mailbox might include a partial or complete address which a predator might use to track you down. Carefully examine all photos before posting them online.
1-3. Do not give out personal contact information online.
This refers not only to your phone number and email, but your social media sites or instant-messaging services. If you make your contact information known to the general public, you might get threatening or abusive messages, or attract unwelcome attention. Keep your accounts visible only to friends who you specifically selected for access.
If you have a website, keep your domain name registration private. If you list your domain privately, instead of your personal contact info, the contact info of your domain registrar will show up for anyone conducting a domain ownership search.
1-4. Think before posting compromising content.
The most obvious example of this would be nude pictures or videos. But you could also end up in trouble by posting images, text, or video which celebrates or admits to drug use, racism, and violence. Even if you send this content in confidence to a boyfriend or girlfriend, there’s no way of knowing what they’ll do with it. If you break up, they might, for instance, post the images anonymously online in revenge.
Even if your social media accounts are private, people might repost your content in a public place where you’d rather it not be seen.
Once something is on the internet, it is virtually impossible to remove it. Be smart and don’t post anything you wouldn’t want your mother (or a potential employer) to see.
If a friend posts something on their social media profile, blog, or website which you do not want online, ask them kindly to remove it. If they do not remove it, attempt to force them to remove it by contacting their parents or guardian, or enlist aid of a third party to negotiate with them.
Be proactive in preventing compromising content from being posted online by telling people who take potentially compromising pictures of you, "Please do not post that online."
If you are underage, check with your parents before posting anything online.
1-5. Be wary of strangers who want to meet.
If you are on a dating site or get a message from someone you don’t know who wants to meet, do not meet them unless you are comfortable doing so. Do not give in to pressure from a stranger on the internet to give out your address or other contact info. Remember, with the anonymity of the internet, anyone can claim anything about themselves.
If you do decide to meet someone from the internet, choose a public place like a restaurant or shopping mall to ensure they are who they claim they are.
If you are underage and want to meet up with a friend you've met online, check with your parent or guardian to ensure they know the situation.
2. Dealing with Cyberbullies
2-1. Don’t listen to their lies.
Cyberbullies will often claim that there are a number of other people who agree with them. They may say that others have contacted them privately about you and your behavior or beliefs in order to bolster their case that there is something wrong with you. This is especially common in long-term online communities like chatrooms or online forums.
For instance, after enduring several weeks of abuse from a cyberbully you might get a private message from them which reads, “A number of users have contacted me about what you’ve said and agree with me that you are both stupid and ugly.”
2-2. Stay cool.
Do not let abusive messages hurt your feelings. Remember, the cyberbully is posting or sending abusive content with the express goal of getting a rise out of you. If you feel sad, hurt, or angry, the cyberbully has won. View the situation in a detached light and consider the cyberbully for what he or she is: a pathetic, sad individual who projects their weaknesses and flaws on others.
Understand that cyberbullies, like any other kind of bullies, are cowards and use the anonymity afforded by the internet to hide who they are. Recognizing this will help you put their opinions and abuse in perspective. It is difficult to take seriously the worthless claims of a coward.
Don’t blame yourself for the cyberbullying. Don’t, for instance, feel that the abuser might have a point when he or she criticizes a shirt you wore in a picture you posted of yourself. You never deserve slander and abuse online or offline for the clothes you wear (or any other reason).
Engage in hobbies and interests where you cannot be cyberbullied. Try taking a brief break from the web by playing a sport, picking up a musical instrument, or writing your feelings in a journal. Running or biking are also great choices to relieve stress brought on by cyberbullying.
2-3. Do not reply to or engage with cyberbullies.
Cyberbullies thrive on the sense of control they derive from taunting and harassing you. When you see their messages in your inbox, or read them in a forum, do not reply in order to deny their charges, and do not reply with an equally malicious line of slander. Doing so would bring you down to their level.
If possible, block the user on the forum or chat community. This way, they cannot send you messages and you cannot see their posts.
2-4. Contact the administrator directly in order to get the individual banned or reprimanded.
Keep all abusive messages and emails. Do not delete them. If possible, create a subfolder for these messages labeled “Abuse” and store them there. The messages will serve as evidence for you later if you need to take more serious action. The accumulated emails or messages will serve as evidence that you have been a victim of cyberbullying.
Each time you receive a message or see a threatening or abusive post, report it to the forum administrator.
If your cyberbully is sending messages directly to your email, you may need to contact their internet service provider (ISP) directly in order to have their email account shut down. For instance, if you get emails from [email protected], you can contact AOL (the provider of the email address) in order to get that email address banned.
A full list of ISP contact information is available at http://www.search.org/resources/isp-list/.
3. Protecting Yourself from Hackers
3-1. Keep your firewall turned on.
Your firewall is an option which helps protect your passwords and computer security. You can think of it the same way you think of a lock on your door. If your firewall is down, you open yourself up to hackers who can take or delete information, steal your passwords, and wreak all manner of other havoc. Do not, therefore, switch the firewall off.
Grant access to the firewall only for authorized programs which require it like games or video streaming services.
3-2. Browse with a VPN.
A virtual private network (VPN) essentially acts as a middleman between the web and your computer, and provides an extra layer of encryption to your interactions online. The VPN server might be located in a different city or even a different country than the one you reside in, and means that tracing your data back to you is almost impossible.
For a double-whammy of internet privacy, combine the VPN with your browser’s incognito or privacy mode. Privacy mode prevents data, cookies, your download record, and other info from being saved on your computer.
3-3. Avoid public wifi.
Wifi hotspots are attractive when you’re out and about but need to hop online for a quick search for directions or other info, but do so with caution. Spend a minimum amount of time logged on to public wifi.
Be sure what the name of the public wifi hotspot is. Logging into the wrong one, or one with a similar name meant to deliberately deceive public wifi users, could mean your online communication -- including passwords, emails, and bank info -- is being lifted by a hacker.
Keep your home wifi connection encrypted. Open wifi makes it easy for hackers to access your computer and download illegal files.
Purchase a new router every few years. Some routers have vulnerabilities which never get corrected.
3-4. Add challenging passwords to your online accounts.
Whether it’s your social media, online banking, or email account, you’ll feel frustrated and powerless if you suffer a security breach. Use long passwords (greater than eight characters) with a mix of upper and lower case letters, numbers, and (if possible) other characters like underscores and dollar signs.
Make each password unique and write them down in a notebook that you always keep in one place. You’ll remember the most important and most common ones in time; the less common ones will be accessible with your password notebook.
Add passwords to your devices, too. Your computer, phone, and tablet should all be password-protected.
Don't use something obvious as your password like your lover's name, your date of birth, or your name.
3-5. Use two-step authentication.
Many services have begun using two layers of security, a process called two-step authentication . For instance, Google offers its Gmail users the option to receive a text message containing a random logon key after entering a password on unknown devices. This way, if someone does gain access to your password, they will be unable to use it except on the devices you have selected as safe.
3-6. Keep your software updated.
If your operating system or internet browser does not incorporate fixes for the latest security glitches, you leave yourself vulnerable to hackers. Set your system and software to automatically update when new updates are available. This will keep your system safe.
Most software will ask you when you first install it whether you want it to auto-update. Indicate that you do to save yourself the hassle of figuring out how to manually update later.
3-7. Download with caution.
Hackers and phishers will often send mass emails out to unsuspecting users with worms (malicious data-gathering programs), viruses, or other malware. Users who download email attachments without first scanning them or checking them against known bad files put themselves at risk for a security breach. Do not download attachments in online links, emails, or messages from sources you do not trust.
3-8. Utilize antivirus software.
Antivirus software can keep unwanted programs and potentially harmful files off your computer. Reputable programs include McAfee Antivirus, Webroot Antivirus, and Bitdefender are among the top antivirus programs. If you’re looking for a more affordable option, Bitdefender has a free antivirus program; Panda Free Antivirus and Avast Free Antivirus are also good options.
Keep your antivirus software -- like all your software and your OS -- up-to-date. The difference between free and paid antivirus software is usually that free versions do not update as regularly or completely as versions you pay for.
3-9. Turn your computer off when it is not being used.
Many people choose to leave their computers on all the time. But the longer your computer is on, the more likely it is that you become the target of a hacker. A computer which is not transmitting or receiving internet data cannot be accessed by hackers, spyware, or botnets.
Tips
If someone's harassing you and you're not sure what to do, just block/ignore them at first.
Signing up for something online? Put the name of the website in the middle name field. Whenever you receive a spam email, you'll know which website sold your email information.
Warnings
Some users will try to threaten you in order to get you to release information or do something. These threats are usually air, but report it nonetheless. Don't comply with them, and ignore them if needed.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keeping Your Identity Secure\\n1-1. Be wary of giving out identifying information on the internet.\\nGiving away personal information on the internet is like giving away your life. When people are on social networks (Facebook, Myspace, etc.), they often don't realize when they're sharing too much information. There are many ways in which oversharing your personal information can endanger you.\\nIf you need to enter your name on an account, use a nickname or a fake name. Alternately, you could use an incomplete form of your name. For instance, if you need to enter your name on a form, enter \\\"Eric P.\\\" instead of your full name, Eric Pillata.\\nMaximize your account privacy wherever possible. Many sites and messenger services have varying levels of privacy. For instance, you may have the option to share your name, date of birth, and where you go to school in addition to the content you post. Hide this data from everyone except your immediate friends. Explore your account settings to ensure that this information is kept confidential.\\nDon't post other unique identifying information like your Social Security Number, date of birth, and other data. These are among the most important pieces of information about you, and with them in hand, hackers could easily steal your identity.\\nDon't use a picture of you as your profile picture on social networks. Put a picture of something that you love instead. For instance, if you love eating grapes, post a picture of grapes on your social media account or chat messenger service of choice. If some malicious person were to discover your real picture, they might use it to locate and harm you.\\nIf you are a minor, always ask your parents what personal information they want you to share online.\\nDo not overload a user with information, as that user can be hacked and then you sending messages makes you a sitting duck.\\n1-2. Keep your location private.\\nDo not give away your location to anyone you do not know online. This means you should not share your address or even the city you reside in. Even the school you attend should remain a secret when chatting or posting online. With just a few details about your location, an internet predator could pretend to be someone you know. For instance, if you tell someone online you live in a certain town, and they know your age, they might be able to pose as someone you know or as someone who lives nearby in order to get you to share important info.\\nBe careful when posting photos of where you live. A picture in front of your house or near your mailbox might include a partial or complete address which a predator might use to track you down. Carefully examine all photos before posting them online.\\n1-3. Do not give out personal contact information online.\\nThis refers not only to your phone number and email, but your social media sites or instant-messaging services. If you make your contact information known to the general public, you might get threatening or abusive messages, or attract unwelcome attention. Keep your accounts visible only to friends who you specifically selected for access.\\nIf you have a website, keep your domain name registration private. If you list your domain privately, instead of your personal contact info, the contact info of your domain registrar will show up for anyone conducting a domain ownership search.\\n1-4. Think before posting compromising content.\\nThe most obvious example of this would be nude pictures or videos. But you could also end up in trouble by posting images, text, or video which celebrates or admits to drug use, racism, and violence. Even if you send this content in confidence to a boyfriend or girlfriend, there’s no way of knowing what they’ll do with it. If you break up, they might, for instance, post the images anonymously online in revenge.\\nEven if your social media accounts are private, people might repost your content in a public place where you’d rather it not be seen.\\nOnce something is on the internet, it is virtually impossible to remove it. Be smart and don’t post anything you wouldn’t want your mother (or a potential employer) to see.\\nIf a friend posts something on their social media profile, blog, or website which you do not want online, ask them kindly to remove it. If they do not remove it, attempt to force them to remove it by contacting their parents or guardian, or enlist aid of a third party to negotiate with them.\\nBe proactive in preventing compromising content from being posted online by telling people who take potentially compromising pictures of you, \\\"Please do not post that online.\\\"\\nIf you are underage, check with your parents before posting anything online.\\n1-5. Be wary of strangers who want to meet.\\nIf you are on a dating site or get a message from someone you don’t know who wants to meet, do not meet them unless you are comfortable doing so. Do not give in to pressure from a stranger on the internet to give out your address or other contact info. Remember, with the anonymity of the internet, anyone can claim anything about themselves.\\nIf you do decide to meet someone from the internet, choose a public place like a restaurant or shopping mall to ensure they are who they claim they are.\\nIf you are underage and want to meet up with a friend you've met online, check with your parent or guardian to ensure they know the situation.\\n2. Dealing with Cyberbullies\\n2-1. Don’t listen to their lies.\\nCyberbullies will often claim that there are a number of other people who agree with them. They may say that others have contacted them privately about you and your behavior or beliefs in order to bolster their case that there is something wrong with you. This is especially common in long-term online communities like chatrooms or online forums. \\nFor instance, after enduring several weeks of abuse from a cyberbully you might get a private message from them which reads, “A number of users have contacted me about what you’ve said and agree with me that you are both stupid and ugly.”\\n2-2. Stay cool.\\nDo not let abusive messages hurt your feelings. Remember, the cyberbully is posting or sending abusive content with the express goal of getting a rise out of you. If you feel sad, hurt, or angry, the cyberbully has won. View the situation in a detached light and consider the cyberbully for what he or she is: a pathetic, sad individual who projects their weaknesses and flaws on others.\\nUnderstand that cyberbullies, like any other kind of bullies, are cowards and use the anonymity afforded by the internet to hide who they are. Recognizing this will help you put their opinions and abuse in perspective. It is difficult to take seriously the worthless claims of a coward.\\nDon’t blame yourself for the cyberbullying. Don’t, for instance, feel that the abuser might have a point when he or she criticizes a shirt you wore in a picture you posted of yourself. You never deserve slander and abuse online or offline for the clothes you wear (or any other reason).\\nEngage in hobbies and interests where you cannot be cyberbullied. Try taking a brief break from the web by playing a sport, picking up a musical instrument, or writing your feelings in a journal. Running or biking are also great choices to relieve stress brought on by cyberbullying.\\n2-3. Do not reply to or engage with cyberbullies.\\nCyberbullies thrive on the sense of control they derive from taunting and harassing you. When you see their messages in your inbox, or read them in a forum, do not reply in order to deny their charges, and do not reply with an equally malicious line of slander. Doing so would bring you down to their level.\\nIf possible, block the user on the forum or chat community. This way, they cannot send you messages and you cannot see their posts.\\n2-4. Contact the administrator directly in order to get the individual banned or reprimanded.\\nKeep all abusive messages and emails. Do not delete them. If possible, create a subfolder for these messages labeled “Abuse” and store them there. The messages will serve as evidence for you later if you need to take more serious action. The accumulated emails or messages will serve as evidence that you have been a victim of cyberbullying.\\nEach time you receive a message or see a threatening or abusive post, report it to the forum administrator.\\nIf your cyberbully is sending messages directly to your email, you may need to contact their internet service provider (ISP) directly in order to have their email account shut down. For instance, if you get emails from [email protected], you can contact AOL (the provider of the email address) in order to get that email address banned.\\nA full list of ISP contact information is available at http://www.search.org/resources/isp-list/.\\n3. Protecting Yourself from Hackers\\n3-1. Keep your firewall turned on.\\nYour firewall is an option which helps protect your passwords and computer security. You can think of it the same way you think of a lock on your door. If your firewall is down, you open yourself up to hackers who can take or delete information, steal your passwords, and wreak all manner of other havoc. Do not, therefore, switch the firewall off.\\nGrant access to the firewall only for authorized programs which require it like games or video streaming services.\\n3-2. Browse with a VPN.\\nA virtual private network (VPN) essentially acts as a middleman between the web and your computer, and provides an extra layer of encryption to your interactions online. The VPN server might be located in a different city or even a different country than the one you reside in, and means that tracing your data back to you is almost impossible.\\nFor a double-whammy of internet privacy, combine the VPN with your browser’s incognito or privacy mode. Privacy mode prevents data, cookies, your download record, and other info from being saved on your computer.\\n3-3. Avoid public wifi.\\nWifi hotspots are attractive when you’re out and about but need to hop online for a quick search for directions or other info, but do so with caution. Spend a minimum amount of time logged on to public wifi.\\nBe sure what the name of the public wifi hotspot is. Logging into the wrong one, or one with a similar name meant to deliberately deceive public wifi users, could mean your online communication -- including passwords, emails, and bank info -- is being lifted by a hacker.\\nKeep your home wifi connection encrypted. Open wifi makes it easy for hackers to access your computer and download illegal files.\\nPurchase a new router every few years. Some routers have vulnerabilities which never get corrected.\\n3-4. Add challenging passwords to your online accounts.\\nWhether it’s your social media, online banking, or email account, you’ll feel frustrated and powerless if you suffer a security breach. Use long passwords (greater than eight characters) with a mix of upper and lower case letters, numbers, and (if possible) other characters like underscores and dollar signs.\\nMake each password unique and write them down in a notebook that you always keep in one place. You’ll remember the most important and most common ones in time; the less common ones will be accessible with your password notebook.\\nAdd passwords to your devices, too. Your computer, phone, and tablet should all be password-protected.\\nDon't use something obvious as your password like your lover's name, your date of birth, or your name.\\n3-5. Use two-step authentication.\\nMany services have begun using two layers of security, a process called two-step authentication . For instance, Google offers its Gmail users the option to receive a text message containing a random logon key after entering a password on unknown devices. This way, if someone does gain access to your password, they will be unable to use it except on the devices you have selected as safe.\\n3-6. Keep your software updated.\\nIf your operating system or internet browser does not incorporate fixes for the latest security glitches, you leave yourself vulnerable to hackers. Set your system and software to automatically update when new updates are available. This will keep your system safe.\\nMost software will ask you when you first install it whether you want it to auto-update. Indicate that you do to save yourself the hassle of figuring out how to manually update later.\\n3-7. Download with caution.\\nHackers and phishers will often send mass emails out to unsuspecting users with worms (malicious data-gathering programs), viruses, or other malware. Users who download email attachments without first scanning them or checking them against known bad files put themselves at risk for a security breach. Do not download attachments in online links, emails, or messages from sources you do not trust.\\n3-8. Utilize antivirus software.\\nAntivirus software can keep unwanted programs and potentially harmful files off your computer. Reputable programs include McAfee Antivirus, Webroot Antivirus, and Bitdefender are among the top antivirus programs. If you’re looking for a more affordable option, Bitdefender has a free antivirus program; Panda Free Antivirus and Avast Free Antivirus are also good options.\\nKeep your antivirus software -- like all your software and your OS -- up-to-date. The difference between free and paid antivirus software is usually that free versions do not update as regularly or completely as versions you pay for.\\n3-9. Turn your computer off when it is not being used.\\nMany people choose to leave their computers on all the time. But the longer your computer is on, the more likely it is that you become the target of a hacker. A computer which is not transmitting or receiving internet data cannot be accessed by hackers, spyware, or botnets.\\nTips\\nIf someone's harassing you and you're not sure what to do, just block/ignore them at first.\\nSigning up for something online? Put the name of the website in the middle name field. Whenever you receive a spam email, you'll know which website sold your email information.\\nWarnings\\nSome users will try to threaten you in order to get you to release information or do something. These threats are usually air, but report it nonetheless. Don't comply with them, and ignore them if needed.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The internet is a great place to make and chat with friends, create websites, learn neat new things, and have an infinite amount of fun. Unfortunately, the internet has also attracted a new set of predators who will try to get your personal information for their own malicious ends. To stay safe while enjoying the benefits of the internet, you need to be a smart surfer. Keep a sharp eye out for threats like hackers and cyber-bullies, and keep your personal information secure, and you’ll have a safe internet experience.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Identity Secure\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be wary of giving out identifying information on the internet.\", \"描述\": \"Giving away personal information on the internet is like giving away your life. When people are on social networks (Facebook, Myspace, etc.), they often don't realize when they're sharing too much information. There are many ways in which oversharing your personal information can endanger you.\\nIf you need to enter your name on an account, use a nickname or a fake name. Alternately, you could use an incomplete form of your name. For instance, if you need to enter your name on a form, enter \\\"Eric P.\\\" instead of your full name, Eric Pillata.\\nMaximize your account privacy wherever possible. Many sites and messenger services have varying levels of privacy. For instance, you may have the option to share your name, date of birth, and where you go to school in addition to the content you post. Hide this data from everyone except your immediate friends. Explore your account settings to ensure that this information is kept confidential.\\nDon't post other unique identifying information like your Social Security Number, date of birth, and other data. These are among the most important pieces of information about you, and with them in hand, hackers could easily steal your identity.\\nDon't use a picture of you as your profile picture on social networks. Put a picture of something that you love instead. For instance, if you love eating grapes, post a picture of grapes on your social media account or chat messenger service of choice. If some malicious person were to discover your real picture, they might use it to locate and harm you.\\nIf you are a minor, always ask your parents what personal information they want you to share online.\\nDo not overload a user with information, as that user can be hacked and then you sending messages makes you a sitting duck.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your location private.\", \"描述\": \"Do not give away your location to anyone you do not know online. This means you should not share your address or even the city you reside in. Even the school you attend should remain a secret when chatting or posting online. With just a few details about your location, an internet predator could pretend to be someone you know. For instance, if you tell someone online you live in a certain town, and they know your age, they might be able to pose as someone you know or as someone who lives nearby in order to get you to share important info.\\nBe careful when posting photos of where you live. A picture in front of your house or near your mailbox might include a partial or complete address which a predator might use to track you down. Carefully examine all photos before posting them online.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not give out personal contact information online.\", \"描述\": \"This refers not only to your phone number and email, but your social media sites or instant-messaging services. If you make your contact information known to the general public, you might get threatening or abusive messages, or attract unwelcome attention. Keep your accounts visible only to friends who you specifically selected for access.\\nIf you have a website, keep your domain name registration private. If you list your domain privately, instead of your personal contact info, the contact info of your domain registrar will show up for anyone conducting a domain ownership search.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think before posting compromising content.\", \"描述\": \"The most obvious example of this would be nude pictures or videos. But you could also end up in trouble by posting images, text, or video which celebrates or admits to drug use, racism, and violence. Even if you send this content in confidence to a boyfriend or girlfriend, there’s no way of knowing what they’ll do with it. If you break up, they might, for instance, post the images anonymously online in revenge.\\nEven if your social media accounts are private, people might repost your content in a public place where you’d rather it not be seen.\\nOnce something is on the internet, it is virtually impossible to remove it. Be smart and don’t post anything you wouldn’t want your mother (or a potential employer) to see.\\nIf a friend posts something on their social media profile, blog, or website which you do not want online, ask them kindly to remove it. If they do not remove it, attempt to force them to remove it by contacting their parents or guardian, or enlist aid of a third party to negotiate with them.\\nBe proactive in preventing compromising content from being posted online by telling people who take potentially compromising pictures of you, \\\"Please do not post that online.\\\"\\nIf you are underage, check with your parents before posting anything online.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be wary of strangers who want to meet.\", \"描述\": \"If you are on a dating site or get a message from someone you don’t know who wants to meet, do not meet them unless you are comfortable doing so. Do not give in to pressure from a stranger on the internet to give out your address or other contact info. Remember, with the anonymity of the internet, anyone can claim anything about themselves.\\nIf you do decide to meet someone from the internet, choose a public place like a restaurant or shopping mall to ensure they are who they claim they are.\\nIf you are underage and want to meet up with a friend you've met online, check with your parent or guardian to ensure they know the situation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Cyberbullies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t listen to their lies.\", \"描述\": \"Cyberbullies will often claim that there are a number of other people who agree with them. They may say that others have contacted them privately about you and your behavior or beliefs in order to bolster their case that there is something wrong with you. This is especially common in long-term online communities like chatrooms or online forums. \\nFor instance, after enduring several weeks of abuse from a cyberbully you might get a private message from them which reads, “A number of users have contacted me about what you’ve said and agree with me that you are both stupid and ugly.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay cool.\", \"描述\": \"Do not let abusive messages hurt your feelings. Remember, the cyberbully is posting or sending abusive content with the express goal of getting a rise out of you. If you feel sad, hurt, or angry, the cyberbully has won. View the situation in a detached light and consider the cyberbully for what he or she is: a pathetic, sad individual who projects their weaknesses and flaws on others.\\nUnderstand that cyberbullies, like any other kind of bullies, are cowards and use the anonymity afforded by the internet to hide who they are. Recognizing this will help you put their opinions and abuse in perspective. It is difficult to take seriously the worthless claims of a coward.\\nDon’t blame yourself for the cyberbullying. Don’t, for instance, feel that the abuser might have a point when he or she criticizes a shirt you wore in a picture you posted of yourself. You never deserve slander and abuse online or offline for the clothes you wear (or any other reason).\\nEngage in hobbies and interests where you cannot be cyberbullied. Try taking a brief break from the web by playing a sport, picking up a musical instrument, or writing your feelings in a journal. Running or biking are also great choices to relieve stress brought on by cyberbullying.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not reply to or engage with cyberbullies.\", \"描述\": \"Cyberbullies thrive on the sense of control they derive from taunting and harassing you. When you see their messages in your inbox, or read them in a forum, do not reply in order to deny their charges, and do not reply with an equally malicious line of slander. Doing so would bring you down to their level.\\nIf possible, block the user on the forum or chat community. This way, they cannot send you messages and you cannot see their posts.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Contact the administrator directly in order to get the individual banned or reprimanded.\", \"描述\": \"Keep all abusive messages and emails. Do not delete them. If possible, create a subfolder for these messages labeled “Abuse” and store them there. The messages will serve as evidence for you later if you need to take more serious action. The accumulated emails or messages will serve as evidence that you have been a victim of cyberbullying.\\nEach time you receive a message or see a threatening or abusive post, report it to the forum administrator.\\nIf your cyberbully is sending messages directly to your email, you may need to contact their internet service provider (ISP) directly in order to have their email account shut down. For instance, if you get emails from [email protected], you can contact AOL (the provider of the email address) in order to get that email address banned.\\nA full list of ISP contact information is available at http://www.search.org/resources/isp-list/.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Protecting Yourself from Hackers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your firewall turned on.\", \"描述\": \"Your firewall is an option which helps protect your passwords and computer security. You can think of it the same way you think of a lock on your door. If your firewall is down, you open yourself up to hackers who can take or delete information, steal your passwords, and wreak all manner of other havoc. Do not, therefore, switch the firewall off.\\nGrant access to the firewall only for authorized programs which require it like games or video streaming services.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Browse with a VPN.\", \"描述\": \"A virtual private network (VPN) essentially acts as a middleman between the web and your computer, and provides an extra layer of encryption to your interactions online. The VPN server might be located in a different city or even a different country than the one you reside in, and means that tracing your data back to you is almost impossible.\\nFor a double-whammy of internet privacy, combine the VPN with your browser’s incognito or privacy mode. Privacy mode prevents data, cookies, your download record, and other info from being saved on your computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid public wifi.\", \"描述\": \"Wifi hotspots are attractive when you’re out and about but need to hop online for a quick search for directions or other info, but do so with caution. Spend a minimum amount of time logged on to public wifi.\\nBe sure what the name of the public wifi hotspot is. Logging into the wrong one, or one with a similar name meant to deliberately deceive public wifi users, could mean your online communication -- including passwords, emails, and bank info -- is being lifted by a hacker.\\nKeep your home wifi connection encrypted. Open wifi makes it easy for hackers to access your computer and download illegal files.\\nPurchase a new router every few years. Some routers have vulnerabilities which never get corrected.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add challenging passwords to your online accounts.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it’s your social media, online banking, or email account, you’ll feel frustrated and powerless if you suffer a security breach. Use long passwords (greater than eight characters) with a mix of upper and lower case letters, numbers, and (if possible) other characters like underscores and dollar signs.\\nMake each password unique and write them down in a notebook that you always keep in one place. You’ll remember the most important and most common ones in time; the less common ones will be accessible with your password notebook.\\nAdd passwords to your devices, too. Your computer, phone, and tablet should all be password-protected.\\nDon't use something obvious as your password like your lover's name, your date of birth, or your name.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use two-step authentication.\", \"描述\": \"Many services have begun using two layers of security, a process called two-step authentication . For instance, Google offers its Gmail users the option to receive a text message containing a random logon key after entering a password on unknown devices. This way, if someone does gain access to your password, they will be unable to use it except on the devices you have selected as safe.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your software updated.\", \"描述\": \"If your operating system or internet browser does not incorporate fixes for the latest security glitches, you leave yourself vulnerable to hackers. Set your system and software to automatically update when new updates are available. This will keep your system safe.\\nMost software will ask you when you first install it whether you want it to auto-update. Indicate that you do to save yourself the hassle of figuring out how to manually update later.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Download with caution.\", \"描述\": \"Hackers and phishers will often send mass emails out to unsuspecting users with worms (malicious data-gathering programs), viruses, or other malware. Users who download email attachments without first scanning them or checking them against known bad files put themselves at risk for a security breach. Do not download attachments in online links, emails, or messages from sources you do not trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Utilize antivirus software.\", \"描述\": \"Antivirus software can keep unwanted programs and potentially harmful files off your computer. Reputable programs include McAfee Antivirus, Webroot Antivirus, and Bitdefender are among the top antivirus programs. If you’re looking for a more affordable option, Bitdefender has a free antivirus program; Panda Free Antivirus and Avast Free Antivirus are also good options.\\nKeep your antivirus software -- like all your software and your OS -- up-to-date. The difference between free and paid antivirus software is usually that free versions do not update as regularly or completely as versions you pay for.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Turn your computer off when it is not being used.\", \"描述\": \"Many people choose to leave their computers on all the time. But the longer your computer is on, the more likely it is that you become the target of a hacker. A computer which is not transmitting or receiving internet data cannot be accessed by hackers, spyware, or botnets.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If someone's harassing you and you're not sure what to do, just block/ignore them at first.\\n\", \"Signing up for something online? Put the name of the website in the middle name field. Whenever you receive a spam email, you'll know which website sold your email information.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Some users will try to threaten you in order to get you to release information or do something. These threats are usually air, but report it nonetheless. Don't comply with them, and ignore them if needed.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,120 | How to Be Safe at Traffic Lights | 1. Following Traffic Rules in Vehicles
1-1. Stop completely on red lights.
Brake slowly and steadily. Stop far enough back that you can see the rear tires of the car in front of you. Stop fully even if it is legal to turn right on red. Do not try to run red lights; it is illegal and puts you at risk for accidents and traffic citations.
Red light cameras exist at many intersections. They are used to give out traffic tickets without the presence of police.
1-2. Stop on yellow lights if possible.
Determine if you can stop safely behind the white line. If you will risk a rear-end collision or would stop in the middle of the intersection, keep going. If you have enough space and time to stop safely, do so.
Some intersections will have a "Prepare to Stop" sign. They will flash if the light is about to turn red.
1-3. Proceed carefully through green lights.
Look for pedestrians and bicyclists before crossing. If turning without a green turn arrow, only turn when traffic has cleared. If there is a turn arrow, wait for it to turn green before proceeding.
Do not enter the intersection until you can be certain you can clear it. If you do so, and the light turns red, you can be cited for blocking the intersection.
1-4. Stop behind the white stop line.
It is illegal to stop past the white line or in the pedestrian crossing. If you are not the first car at the intersection, leave space between your car and the car in front of you.
1-5. Turn right on red only if it is legal and safe.
In some states, it is legal to turn right on red. Look both ways for pedestrians and bicyclists before turning to ensure their safety. Look for signs posted that may say “No turn on red” or “After stop, right turn permitted on red” before proceeding.
Do not attempt to turn left on a red light unless you are turning onto a one-way street. Be sure to keep yourself and pedestrians safe by looking both ways before beginning to turn left onto a one-way street. In some places, it is illegal to turn left on a red light.
1-6. Yield to pedestrians and bicycles, even if there is no marked crosswalk.
They always have the right of way. It is safer to remain stopped until the crosswalk is clear, but is not mandated everywhere. In some places, you can be fined for not yielding to pedestrians or bikes in a marked crosswalk.
1-7. Use your blinkers when necessary.
Even if you are in a designated turn lane, you must use your blinker to signal the direction you are turning.
1-8. Make a U-turn only when safe.
Laws vary by state. Do not make a U-turn if you see “U-turn prohibited” or “No U-Turn” signs. Check for oncoming traffic and pedestrians before making a U-turn.
1-9. Come to a full stop if the light is blinking red or is extinguished.
If the traffic light is blinking red or is not displaying any signal, you must come to a full stop. Look left and right to determine if there is any traffic crossing your way then proceed when it is safe. Blinking reds should be treated like a stop sign.
1-10. Yield to traffic if the light is blinking yellow.
If the traffic light is blinking yellow, determine if there is any oncoming traffic in either direction. If there is, stop before the stop line. If not, then proceed carefully through the intersection. Blinking yellows should be treated like a yield sign.
2. Crossing Safely As a Pedestrian
2-1. Watch the pedestrian signals, not the traffic signals, when possible.
When it’s safe to walk, do so as quickly as possible so you are in the road for less time. When the pedestrian signal is activated, it provides enough time for you to cross the street safely, so pay attention to when it begins.
2-2. Cross in the crosswalk when you have a “Walk” sign or see an image of a person walking.
Always cross at a corner. Most intersections have a push button to activate the walk sign.
If the “Don’t Walk” or similar hand signal sign is flashing, do not begin to cross. Wait for the next time the “Walk” sign appears.
Don’t jaywalk. Not only is crossing in the middle of the street illegal, it’s dangerous to yourself and the drivers who won’t expect to see you there.
2-3. Look left, right and left again before crossing.
Look for turning vehicles. Some drivers don’t yield the right-of-way to pedestrians, so pay close attention before stepping into the roadway. Continue watching as you cross the street.
Don’t be distracted with your cell phone while crossing the street. Stop texting, talking on the phone or listening to music. Use all of your senses to stay safe.
Tips
While crossing, make yourself visible. Wear bright clothing during the day and reflective clothing at night.
In some countries, mostly European, the traffic lights will switch to red and yellow before switching to green. This is to give drivers of manual cars time to switch into the gear.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Following Traffic Rules in Vehicles\\n1-1. Stop completely on red lights.\\nBrake slowly and steadily. Stop far enough back that you can see the rear tires of the car in front of you. Stop fully even if it is legal to turn right on red. Do not try to run red lights; it is illegal and puts you at risk for accidents and traffic citations.\\nRed light cameras exist at many intersections. They are used to give out traffic tickets without the presence of police.\\n1-2. Stop on yellow lights if possible.\\nDetermine if you can stop safely behind the white line. If you will risk a rear-end collision or would stop in the middle of the intersection, keep going. If you have enough space and time to stop safely, do so.\\nSome intersections will have a \\\"Prepare to Stop\\\" sign. They will flash if the light is about to turn red.\\n1-3. Proceed carefully through green lights.\\nLook for pedestrians and bicyclists before crossing. If turning without a green turn arrow, only turn when traffic has cleared. If there is a turn arrow, wait for it to turn green before proceeding.\\nDo not enter the intersection until you can be certain you can clear it. If you do so, and the light turns red, you can be cited for blocking the intersection.\\n1-4. Stop behind the white stop line.\\nIt is illegal to stop past the white line or in the pedestrian crossing. If you are not the first car at the intersection, leave space between your car and the car in front of you.\\n1-5. Turn right on red only if it is legal and safe.\\nIn some states, it is legal to turn right on red. Look both ways for pedestrians and bicyclists before turning to ensure their safety. Look for signs posted that may say “No turn on red” or “After stop, right turn permitted on red” before proceeding.\\nDo not attempt to turn left on a red light unless you are turning onto a one-way street. Be sure to keep yourself and pedestrians safe by looking both ways before beginning to turn left onto a one-way street. In some places, it is illegal to turn left on a red light.\\n1-6. Yield to pedestrians and bicycles, even if there is no marked crosswalk.\\nThey always have the right of way. It is safer to remain stopped until the crosswalk is clear, but is not mandated everywhere. In some places, you can be fined for not yielding to pedestrians or bikes in a marked crosswalk.\\n1-7. Use your blinkers when necessary.\\nEven if you are in a designated turn lane, you must use your blinker to signal the direction you are turning.\\n1-8. Make a U-turn only when safe.\\nLaws vary by state. Do not make a U-turn if you see “U-turn prohibited” or “No U-Turn” signs. Check for oncoming traffic and pedestrians before making a U-turn.\\n1-9. Come to a full stop if the light is blinking red or is extinguished.\\nIf the traffic light is blinking red or is not displaying any signal, you must come to a full stop. Look left and right to determine if there is any traffic crossing your way then proceed when it is safe. Blinking reds should be treated like a stop sign.\\n1-10. Yield to traffic if the light is blinking yellow.\\nIf the traffic light is blinking yellow, determine if there is any oncoming traffic in either direction. If there is, stop before the stop line. If not, then proceed carefully through the intersection. Blinking yellows should be treated like a yield sign.\\n2. Crossing Safely As a Pedestrian\\n2-1. Watch the pedestrian signals, not the traffic signals, when possible.\\nWhen it’s safe to walk, do so as quickly as possible so you are in the road for less time. When the pedestrian signal is activated, it provides enough time for you to cross the street safely, so pay attention to when it begins.\\n2-2. Cross in the crosswalk when you have a “Walk” sign or see an image of a person walking.\\nAlways cross at a corner. Most intersections have a push button to activate the walk sign.\\nIf the “Don’t Walk” or similar hand signal sign is flashing, do not begin to cross. Wait for the next time the “Walk” sign appears.\\nDon’t jaywalk. Not only is crossing in the middle of the street illegal, it’s dangerous to yourself and the drivers who won’t expect to see you there.\\n2-3. Look left, right and left again before crossing.\\nLook for turning vehicles. Some drivers don’t yield the right-of-way to pedestrians, so pay close attention before stepping into the roadway. Continue watching as you cross the street.\\nDon’t be distracted with your cell phone while crossing the street. Stop texting, talking on the phone or listening to music. Use all of your senses to stay safe.\\nTips\\nWhile crossing, make yourself visible. Wear bright clothing during the day and reflective clothing at night.\\nIn some countries, mostly European, the traffic lights will switch to red and yellow before switching to green. This is to give drivers of manual cars time to switch into the gear.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Traffic lights can be a pain if you're late for work, stuck in traffic, or unable to cross the street. They’re designed to increase safety by regulating the flow of traffic, and they work much better when everyone follows the rules. Save yourself the pain of an accident by learning the basics of what to do when approaching a traffic light on foot or in a car, like stopping completely on red lights and only crossing the street in a crosswalk.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Following Traffic Rules in Vehicles\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stop completely on red lights.\", \"描述\": \"Brake slowly and steadily. Stop far enough back that you can see the rear tires of the car in front of you. Stop fully even if it is legal to turn right on red. Do not try to run red lights; it is illegal and puts you at risk for accidents and traffic citations.\\nRed light cameras exist at many intersections. They are used to give out traffic tickets without the presence of police.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop on yellow lights if possible.\", \"描述\": \"Determine if you can stop safely behind the white line. If you will risk a rear-end collision or would stop in the middle of the intersection, keep going. If you have enough space and time to stop safely, do so.\\nSome intersections will have a \\\"Prepare to Stop\\\" sign. They will flash if the light is about to turn red.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Proceed carefully through green lights.\", \"描述\": \"Look for pedestrians and bicyclists before crossing. If turning without a green turn arrow, only turn when traffic has cleared. If there is a turn arrow, wait for it to turn green before proceeding.\\nDo not enter the intersection until you can be certain you can clear it. If you do so, and the light turns red, you can be cited for blocking the intersection.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stop behind the white stop line.\", \"描述\": \"It is illegal to stop past the white line or in the pedestrian crossing. If you are not the first car at the intersection, leave space between your car and the car in front of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Turn right on red only if it is legal and safe.\", \"描述\": \"In some states, it is legal to turn right on red. Look both ways for pedestrians and bicyclists before turning to ensure their safety. Look for signs posted that may say “No turn on red” or “After stop, right turn permitted on red” before proceeding.\\nDo not attempt to turn left on a red light unless you are turning onto a one-way street. Be sure to keep yourself and pedestrians safe by looking both ways before beginning to turn left onto a one-way street. In some places, it is illegal to turn left on a red light.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Yield to pedestrians and bicycles, even if there is no marked crosswalk.\", \"描述\": \"They always have the right of way. It is safer to remain stopped until the crosswalk is clear, but is not mandated everywhere. In some places, you can be fined for not yielding to pedestrians or bikes in a marked crosswalk.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use your blinkers when necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are in a designated turn lane, you must use your blinker to signal the direction you are turning.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Make a U-turn only when safe.\", \"描述\": \"Laws vary by state. Do not make a U-turn if you see “U-turn prohibited” or “No U-Turn” signs. Check for oncoming traffic and pedestrians before making a U-turn.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Come to a full stop if the light is blinking red or is extinguished.\", \"描述\": \"If the traffic light is blinking red or is not displaying any signal, you must come to a full stop. Look left and right to determine if there is any traffic crossing your way then proceed when it is safe. Blinking reds should be treated like a stop sign.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Yield to traffic if the light is blinking yellow.\", \"描述\": \"If the traffic light is blinking yellow, determine if there is any oncoming traffic in either direction. If there is, stop before the stop line. If not, then proceed carefully through the intersection. Blinking yellows should be treated like a yield sign.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Crossing Safely As a Pedestrian\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch the pedestrian signals, not the traffic signals, when possible.\", \"描述\": \"When it’s safe to walk, do so as quickly as possible so you are in the road for less time. When the pedestrian signal is activated, it provides enough time for you to cross the street safely, so pay attention to when it begins.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cross in the crosswalk when you have a “Walk” sign or see an image of a person walking.\", \"描述\": \"Always cross at a corner. Most intersections have a push button to activate the walk sign.\\nIf the “Don’t Walk” or similar hand signal sign is flashing, do not begin to cross. Wait for the next time the “Walk” sign appears.\\nDon’t jaywalk. Not only is crossing in the middle of the street illegal, it’s dangerous to yourself and the drivers who won’t expect to see you there.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look left, right and left again before crossing.\", \"描述\": \"Look for turning vehicles. Some drivers don’t yield the right-of-way to pedestrians, so pay close attention before stepping into the roadway. Continue watching as you cross the street.\\nDon’t be distracted with your cell phone while crossing the street. Stop texting, talking on the phone or listening to music. Use all of your senses to stay safe.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"While crossing, make yourself visible. Wear bright clothing during the day and reflective clothing at night.\\n\", \"In some countries, mostly European, the traffic lights will switch to red and yellow before switching to green. This is to give drivers of manual cars time to switch into the gear.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,121 | How to Be Safe in a Foreign Country | 1. Steps
1-1. Research the country you are going to before you go.
The best and fastest way of researching is to search on the Internet for legal information and things you should know well in advance of traveling to that country. View travel advisories from reputable sources such as the US and UK, and take note of any potential issues you may encounter. A streetwise traveler should also know emergency numbers, and at least a bit of the language (like the word for "help"). Also find out places to avoid, like alleys, bad neighborhoods, and red light districts. Your government may have resources available to travelers that will outline what you need to be prepared for.
Know the local customs. There are many gestures that you may be accustomed to, but are frowned upon in other countries where they may be seen as the opposite of their intention. For instance, the thumbs up "OK" sign that is used in much of the West is a nasty hand gesture in other countries such as Greece. Your travel agent should be able to help you with determining the customs you're used to that might have the opposite effect in a different country.
Learn how the locals dress. If the locals are dressed in a moderate way, you should dress the same. You don't want to draw unwanted attention to yourself, especially at sites of religious importance.
1-2. Make three copies of everything before you leave.
Make copies of your passport, travel itinerary and tickets, credit cards, driver's license, and any other important documents. Copy the back of everything, as well. This can make it easier for you to recover if any of your documents are stolen, but keep the copies in separate locations, and keep them safe. You can also consider making scans of your documents and e-mailing them as attachments to yourself to be printed when and if needed. You may be able to store your important documents in an online "safe" for more security.
1-3. Get the addresses and phone numbers of your country's embassy and any military bases (if applicable) before your arrival to the foreign country.
For some countries, such as the USA and Australia, it is possible to register with a consulate online, ahead of travel. Once you have done this, if there arises any kind of natural disaster or military conflict, the consulate will know that you are in the country, which is the first step in being able to offer assistance.
Contact your country's embassy (or closest embassy) upon arriving. Advise them of your location and your name, especially if you are in a politically turbulent foreign country. If possible, travel to the embassy, or at least spot it on a map and know how you can get there if you need to.
1-4. Avoid looking like a tourist.
Generally, don't wear any of the following:
Excessive or expensive-looking jewelry
A nice pair of sneakers (especially white ones) - You might be tempted to because you might be doing a lot of walking, but a nice pair of sneakers will show people that you are indeed a tourist (which makes you look like a target to thieves). If you must wear sneakers, make sure that they are not the type that would attract attention.
Fanny pack - A pickpocket could easily unzip (or take a knife to) and empty the contents of the fanny pack without you being aware.
Tote bags imprinted with a tour group operator name or symbol
Obviously new apparel
Electronics - If you must bring them, put them in the oldest, most beaten-up backpack you can find.
1-5. Check to see if tap water is safe.
Remember that the tap water may be treated with different chemicals from those in your home country and could still make you ill if you drink it, especially for children and the elderly. Also, when buying water from a vendor in the streets, make sure that the cap is still attached to its ring.
1-6. Be careful with sexual encounters.
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are common to all cities across the world, even your own. The occurrence of STDs like AIDS and syphilis is higher in some cities, especially among prostitutes. Remember, the only guaranteed protection is not having sex in the first place, but if you do, wear or require your partner to wear protection that reduces the transmission of disease, and if necessary take precautions against date rape.
1-7. Keep your personal information secret.
No one but you needs to know where you are staying, where you are going, and when you are doing it. No matter how trustworthy a person seems, it's not important they know your personal information. If somebody asks where you are staying, then lie. When checking in a hotel, don't say your room number out loud at any time. Ideally, the hotel clerk should be discreet about it also (writing the room number on your key envelope) but if you think others heard your room number, simply ask to have it changed.
1-8. Safeguard your room.
Ask for a room that is not on the ground floor or near the elevator or fire stairs, as they tend to get thieved more often. Bring a rubber door wedge and put it under your door every night, just in case. If someone has a key or picks the lock, the rubber wedge will give you enough time to make a commotion and call for help. If you don't have a wedge, put the chair up against the doorknob. Put a "do not disturb" sign on your door when you leave so that people think you're in there. Leave the TV on at a moderate volume so that people cannot tell if your room is occupied or not. Keep your valuables out of sight in a safe or in a not-so-obvious container (like a bread box).
1-9. Be polite and non demanding.
If you are quiet and respectful, you are less likely to draw attention to yourself through your behavior. Depending on the local customs, however, do not assume that being extra friendly is beneficial -- it may be interpreted as an invitation that you never meant to offer, especially if you are female. Avoid doing anything (having drinks, doing drugs) that makes you loud or belligerent in any way. Not only will you draw attention to yourself in a negative way, but you'll also be more vulnerable because you're not completely alert.
1-10. Carry your documents strategically.
Do not place your credit cards, cash, ID cards, and passport all in the same place.
Keep cash and credit cards separate from ID cards. By keeping things separated you eliminate the risk of having them all stolen.
Always have some cash stashed away in a shoe, a hidden pocket, or in yet another shoe, in case you need immediate cash for taxi ride or something fast to eat. Do not carry too much cash, and never flash it all when you pay.
If you have a wallet, wear it in your front pants pocket instead of in the back and your pocketbook close to the body. To be extra safe, prepare a mugger's wallet -- an inexpensive wallet with a small amount of real cash plus expired credit cards and fake IDs.
1-11. Use this fake wallet in case you are mugged and have to give it up.
Throw it towards them but aim for further than them. As they run to get the wallet, you have the chance to run the opposite way to get away from them. The muggers are more interested in the cash and won't take the time to examine the fake cards and IDs until later.
1-12. Walk facing the traffic.
This way, no cars can sneak up behind you and commit a crime. It has also been known for thieves on scooters to snatch handbags as they drive past. Keep your handbag/suitcase on the side of your body that is away from the traffic. By doing this, you can also minimize the risk of any accidents, which could arise from not seeing the speeding cars behind you.
1-13. Be alert when using public transportation.
Steer clear of unlicensed taxis. Better still, hire a car, or get a bus or train. Try to get a seat at the front of the bus, as you will be near the driver. You should never go on the top floor of a bus late at night. If you are getting a train, try to find a seat in a busy carriage somewhere in the middle of the train. This means you will only have to walk down half a potentially lonely and poorly lit platform. If necessary, sit close to the emergency button/intercom.
1-14. Never get into a car with a stranger.
If it is a certified taxi driver, then make sure by asking for identification. If you find out too late that you are in an illegal taxi driver's car, break away through windows or the door.
1-15. If you do take a taxi, do not sit in the front seat, especially if you are a woman.
Make sure the doors open from the inside. When you arrive at your destination, have the money ready immediately and do not linger in the car.
1-16. If driving, be alert to changes in the rules of the road.
Some countries will drive on the left side of the road, others on the right. In the U.S., you drive on the right side; in Japan, the UK, Australia or New Zealand you drive on the left side. Driving on the opposite side of the road to what you are accustomed is a significant adjustment; in particular, be very careful when turning to be sure you end up on the correct side of the road. Also, don't back up more than absolutely necessary. For example, back out of parking spaces, but don't back up if you missed a turn. Backing up on the wrong side of the road is even more difficult than driving on the wrong side of the road.
Tips
Unfortunately, not everyone is caring during a dangerous situation. Some people adopt the "every person for him/herself approach". Be careful whom you trust.
If you are on your own, try to befriend some other travelers. There is safety in numbers.
If you are in a country where political tensions are high, be extremely careful. It has been known for tensions to erupt, resulting in terrible consequences. Bombs have exploded and killed hundreds. If you find yourself in this situation when you are in the country, do not go outside of where you are staying. The army may be called in as well. This can bring about devastating gunfights in the street. You may have to stay there for quite some time, to let things calm down.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Research the country you are going to before you go.\\nThe best and fastest way of researching is to search on the Internet for legal information and things you should know well in advance of traveling to that country. View travel advisories from reputable sources such as the US and UK, and take note of any potential issues you may encounter. A streetwise traveler should also know emergency numbers, and at least a bit of the language (like the word for \\\"help\\\"). Also find out places to avoid, like alleys, bad neighborhoods, and red light districts. Your government may have resources available to travelers that will outline what you need to be prepared for.\\nKnow the local customs. There are many gestures that you may be accustomed to, but are frowned upon in other countries where they may be seen as the opposite of their intention. For instance, the thumbs up \\\"OK\\\" sign that is used in much of the West is a nasty hand gesture in other countries such as Greece. Your travel agent should be able to help you with determining the customs you're used to that might have the opposite effect in a different country.\\nLearn how the locals dress. If the locals are dressed in a moderate way, you should dress the same. You don't want to draw unwanted attention to yourself, especially at sites of religious importance.\\n1-2. Make three copies of everything before you leave.\\nMake copies of your passport, travel itinerary and tickets, credit cards, driver's license, and any other important documents. Copy the back of everything, as well. This can make it easier for you to recover if any of your documents are stolen, but keep the copies in separate locations, and keep them safe. You can also consider making scans of your documents and e-mailing them as attachments to yourself to be printed when and if needed. You may be able to store your important documents in an online \\\"safe\\\" for more security.\\n1-3. Get the addresses and phone numbers of your country's embassy and any military bases (if applicable) before your arrival to the foreign country.\\nFor some countries, such as the USA and Australia, it is possible to register with a consulate online, ahead of travel. Once you have done this, if there arises any kind of natural disaster or military conflict, the consulate will know that you are in the country, which is the first step in being able to offer assistance.\\nContact your country's embassy (or closest embassy) upon arriving. Advise them of your location and your name, especially if you are in a politically turbulent foreign country. If possible, travel to the embassy, or at least spot it on a map and know how you can get there if you need to.\\n1-4. Avoid looking like a tourist.\\nGenerally, don't wear any of the following:\\nExcessive or expensive-looking jewelry\\nA nice pair of sneakers (especially white ones) - You might be tempted to because you might be doing a lot of walking, but a nice pair of sneakers will show people that you are indeed a tourist (which makes you look like a target to thieves). If you must wear sneakers, make sure that they are not the type that would attract attention.\\nFanny pack - A pickpocket could easily unzip (or take a knife to) and empty the contents of the fanny pack without you being aware.\\nTote bags imprinted with a tour group operator name or symbol\\nObviously new apparel\\nElectronics - If you must bring them, put them in the oldest, most beaten-up backpack you can find.\\n1-5. Check to see if tap water is safe.\\nRemember that the tap water may be treated with different chemicals from those in your home country and could still make you ill if you drink it, especially for children and the elderly. Also, when buying water from a vendor in the streets, make sure that the cap is still attached to its ring.\\n1-6. Be careful with sexual encounters.\\nSexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are common to all cities across the world, even your own. The occurrence of STDs like AIDS and syphilis is higher in some cities, especially among prostitutes. Remember, the only guaranteed protection is not having sex in the first place, but if you do, wear or require your partner to wear protection that reduces the transmission of disease, and if necessary take precautions against date rape.\\n1-7. Keep your personal information secret.\\nNo one but you needs to know where you are staying, where you are going, and when you are doing it. No matter how trustworthy a person seems, it's not important they know your personal information. If somebody asks where you are staying, then lie. When checking in a hotel, don't say your room number out loud at any time. Ideally, the hotel clerk should be discreet about it also (writing the room number on your key envelope) but if you think others heard your room number, simply ask to have it changed.\\n1-8. Safeguard your room.\\nAsk for a room that is not on the ground floor or near the elevator or fire stairs, as they tend to get thieved more often. Bring a rubber door wedge and put it under your door every night, just in case. If someone has a key or picks the lock, the rubber wedge will give you enough time to make a commotion and call for help. If you don't have a wedge, put the chair up against the doorknob. Put a \\\"do not disturb\\\" sign on your door when you leave so that people think you're in there. Leave the TV on at a moderate volume so that people cannot tell if your room is occupied or not. Keep your valuables out of sight in a safe or in a not-so-obvious container (like a bread box).\\n1-9. Be polite and non demanding.\\nIf you are quiet and respectful, you are less likely to draw attention to yourself through your behavior. Depending on the local customs, however, do not assume that being extra friendly is beneficial -- it may be interpreted as an invitation that you never meant to offer, especially if you are female. Avoid doing anything (having drinks, doing drugs) that makes you loud or belligerent in any way. Not only will you draw attention to yourself in a negative way, but you'll also be more vulnerable because you're not completely alert.\\n1-10. Carry your documents strategically.\\nDo not place your credit cards, cash, ID cards, and passport all in the same place.\\nKeep cash and credit cards separate from ID cards. By keeping things separated you eliminate the risk of having them all stolen.\\nAlways have some cash stashed away in a shoe, a hidden pocket, or in yet another shoe, in case you need immediate cash for taxi ride or something fast to eat. Do not carry too much cash, and never flash it all when you pay.\\nIf you have a wallet, wear it in your front pants pocket instead of in the back and your pocketbook close to the body. To be extra safe, prepare a mugger's wallet -- an inexpensive wallet with a small amount of real cash plus expired credit cards and fake IDs.\\n1-11. Use this fake wallet in case you are mugged and have to give it up.\\nThrow it towards them but aim for further than them. As they run to get the wallet, you have the chance to run the opposite way to get away from them. The muggers are more interested in the cash and won't take the time to examine the fake cards and IDs until later.\\n1-12. Walk facing the traffic.\\nThis way, no cars can sneak up behind you and commit a crime. It has also been known for thieves on scooters to snatch handbags as they drive past. Keep your handbag/suitcase on the side of your body that is away from the traffic. By doing this, you can also minimize the risk of any accidents, which could arise from not seeing the speeding cars behind you.\\n1-13. Be alert when using public transportation.\\nSteer clear of unlicensed taxis. Better still, hire a car, or get a bus or train. Try to get a seat at the front of the bus, as you will be near the driver. You should never go on the top floor of a bus late at night. If you are getting a train, try to find a seat in a busy carriage somewhere in the middle of the train. This means you will only have to walk down half a potentially lonely and poorly lit platform. If necessary, sit close to the emergency button/intercom.\\n1-14. Never get into a car with a stranger.\\nIf it is a certified taxi driver, then make sure by asking for identification. If you find out too late that you are in an illegal taxi driver's car, break away through windows or the door.\\n1-15. If you do take a taxi, do not sit in the front seat, especially if you are a woman.\\nMake sure the doors open from the inside. When you arrive at your destination, have the money ready immediately and do not linger in the car.\\n1-16. If driving, be alert to changes in the rules of the road.\\nSome countries will drive on the left side of the road, others on the right. In the U.S., you drive on the right side; in Japan, the UK, Australia or New Zealand you drive on the left side. Driving on the opposite side of the road to what you are accustomed is a significant adjustment; in particular, be very careful when turning to be sure you end up on the correct side of the road. Also, don't back up more than absolutely necessary. For example, back out of parking spaces, but don't back up if you missed a turn. Backing up on the wrong side of the road is even more difficult than driving on the wrong side of the road.\\nTips\\nUnfortunately, not everyone is caring during a dangerous situation. Some people adopt the \\\"every person for him/herself approach\\\". Be careful whom you trust.\\nIf you are on your own, try to befriend some other travelers. There is safety in numbers.\\nIf you are in a country where political tensions are high, be extremely careful. It has been known for tensions to erupt, resulting in terrible consequences. Bombs have exploded and killed hundreds. If you find yourself in this situation when you are in the country, do not go outside of where you are staying. The army may be called in as well. This can bring about devastating gunfights in the street. You may have to stay there for quite some time, to let things calm down.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While being in a foreign country may be fun, there is always danger abroad, just as there is danger at home. All visitors from any country should learn what the dangers are in foreign countries and how to protect themselves no matter how sure they are that they are safe. There is always the possibility that something can go wrong, so, as they say, it's better to be safe than sorry. Whether by yourself or with family or friends, safety is important. Keep in mind the following pointers to make your next foreign trip as safe and as hassle-free as possible.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Research the country you are going to before you go.\", \"描述\": \"The best and fastest way of researching is to search on the Internet for legal information and things you should know well in advance of traveling to that country. View travel advisories from reputable sources such as the US and UK, and take note of any potential issues you may encounter. A streetwise traveler should also know emergency numbers, and at least a bit of the language (like the word for \\\"help\\\"). Also find out places to avoid, like alleys, bad neighborhoods, and red light districts. Your government may have resources available to travelers that will outline what you need to be prepared for.\\nKnow the local customs. There are many gestures that you may be accustomed to, but are frowned upon in other countries where they may be seen as the opposite of their intention. For instance, the thumbs up \\\"OK\\\" sign that is used in much of the West is a nasty hand gesture in other countries such as Greece. Your travel agent should be able to help you with determining the customs you're used to that might have the opposite effect in a different country.\\nLearn how the locals dress. If the locals are dressed in a moderate way, you should dress the same. You don't want to draw unwanted attention to yourself, especially at sites of religious importance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make three copies of everything before you leave.\", \"描述\": \"Make copies of your passport, travel itinerary and tickets, credit cards, driver's license, and any other important documents. Copy the back of everything, as well. This can make it easier for you to recover if any of your documents are stolen, but keep the copies in separate locations, and keep them safe. You can also consider making scans of your documents and e-mailing them as attachments to yourself to be printed when and if needed. You may be able to store your important documents in an online \\\"safe\\\" for more security.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get the addresses and phone numbers of your country's embassy and any military bases (if applicable) before your arrival to the foreign country.\", \"描述\": \"For some countries, such as the USA and Australia, it is possible to register with a consulate online, ahead of travel. Once you have done this, if there arises any kind of natural disaster or military conflict, the consulate will know that you are in the country, which is the first step in being able to offer assistance.\\nContact your country's embassy (or closest embassy) upon arriving. Advise them of your location and your name, especially if you are in a politically turbulent foreign country. If possible, travel to the embassy, or at least spot it on a map and know how you can get there if you need to.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid looking like a tourist.\", \"描述\": \"Generally, don't wear any of the following:\\nExcessive or expensive-looking jewelry\\nA nice pair of sneakers (especially white ones) - You might be tempted to because you might be doing a lot of walking, but a nice pair of sneakers will show people that you are indeed a tourist (which makes you look like a target to thieves). If you must wear sneakers, make sure that they are not the type that would attract attention.\\nFanny pack - A pickpocket could easily unzip (or take a knife to) and empty the contents of the fanny pack without you being aware.\\nTote bags imprinted with a tour group operator name or symbol\\nObviously new apparel\\nElectronics - If you must bring them, put them in the oldest, most beaten-up backpack you can find.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check to see if tap water is safe.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that the tap water may be treated with different chemicals from those in your home country and could still make you ill if you drink it, especially for children and the elderly. Also, when buying water from a vendor in the streets, make sure that the cap is still attached to its ring.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be careful with sexual encounters.\", \"描述\": \"Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are common to all cities across the world, even your own. The occurrence of STDs like AIDS and syphilis is higher in some cities, especially among prostitutes. Remember, the only guaranteed protection is not having sex in the first place, but if you do, wear or require your partner to wear protection that reduces the transmission of disease, and if necessary take precautions against date rape.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep your personal information secret.\", \"描述\": \"No one but you needs to know where you are staying, where you are going, and when you are doing it. No matter how trustworthy a person seems, it's not important they know your personal information. If somebody asks where you are staying, then lie. When checking in a hotel, don't say your room number out loud at any time. Ideally, the hotel clerk should be discreet about it also (writing the room number on your key envelope) but if you think others heard your room number, simply ask to have it changed.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Safeguard your room.\", \"描述\": \"Ask for a room that is not on the ground floor or near the elevator or fire stairs, as they tend to get thieved more often. Bring a rubber door wedge and put it under your door every night, just in case. If someone has a key or picks the lock, the rubber wedge will give you enough time to make a commotion and call for help. If you don't have a wedge, put the chair up against the doorknob. Put a \\\"do not disturb\\\" sign on your door when you leave so that people think you're in there. Leave the TV on at a moderate volume so that people cannot tell if your room is occupied or not. Keep your valuables out of sight in a safe or in a not-so-obvious container (like a bread box).\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be polite and non demanding.\", \"描述\": \"If you are quiet and respectful, you are less likely to draw attention to yourself through your behavior. Depending on the local customs, however, do not assume that being extra friendly is beneficial -- it may be interpreted as an invitation that you never meant to offer, especially if you are female. Avoid doing anything (having drinks, doing drugs) that makes you loud or belligerent in any way. Not only will you draw attention to yourself in a negative way, but you'll also be more vulnerable because you're not completely alert.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Carry your documents strategically.\", \"描述\": \"Do not place your credit cards, cash, ID cards, and passport all in the same place.\\nKeep cash and credit cards separate from ID cards. By keeping things separated you eliminate the risk of having them all stolen.\\nAlways have some cash stashed away in a shoe, a hidden pocket, or in yet another shoe, in case you need immediate cash for taxi ride or something fast to eat. Do not carry too much cash, and never flash it all when you pay.\\nIf you have a wallet, wear it in your front pants pocket instead of in the back and your pocketbook close to the body. To be extra safe, prepare a mugger's wallet -- an inexpensive wallet with a small amount of real cash plus expired credit cards and fake IDs.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Use this fake wallet in case you are mugged and have to give it up.\", \"描述\": \"Throw it towards them but aim for further than them. As they run to get the wallet, you have the chance to run the opposite way to get away from them. The muggers are more interested in the cash and won't take the time to examine the fake cards and IDs until later.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Walk facing the traffic.\", \"描述\": \"This way, no cars can sneak up behind you and commit a crime. It has also been known for thieves on scooters to snatch handbags as they drive past. Keep your handbag/suitcase on the side of your body that is away from the traffic. By doing this, you can also minimize the risk of any accidents, which could arise from not seeing the speeding cars behind you.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Be alert when using public transportation.\", \"描述\": \"Steer clear of unlicensed taxis. Better still, hire a car, or get a bus or train. Try to get a seat at the front of the bus, as you will be near the driver. You should never go on the top floor of a bus late at night. If you are getting a train, try to find a seat in a busy carriage somewhere in the middle of the train. This means you will only have to walk down half a potentially lonely and poorly lit platform. If necessary, sit close to the emergency button/intercom.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Never get into a car with a stranger.\", \"描述\": \"If it is a certified taxi driver, then make sure by asking for identification. If you find out too late that you are in an illegal taxi driver's car, break away through windows or the door.\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"If you do take a taxi, do not sit in the front seat, especially if you are a woman.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure the doors open from the inside. When you arrive at your destination, have the money ready immediately and do not linger in the car.\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"If driving, be alert to changes in the rules of the road.\", \"描述\": \"Some countries will drive on the left side of the road, others on the right. In the U.S., you drive on the right side; in Japan, the UK, Australia or New Zealand you drive on the left side. Driving on the opposite side of the road to what you are accustomed is a significant adjustment; in particular, be very careful when turning to be sure you end up on the correct side of the road. Also, don't back up more than absolutely necessary. For example, back out of parking spaces, but don't back up if you missed a turn. Backing up on the wrong side of the road is even more difficult than driving on the wrong side of the road.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Unfortunately, not everyone is caring during a dangerous situation. Some people adopt the \\\"every person for him/herself approach\\\". Be careful whom you trust.\\n\", \"If you are on your own, try to befriend some other travelers. There is safety in numbers.\\n\", \"If you are in a country where political tensions are high, be extremely careful. It has been known for tensions to erupt, resulting in terrible consequences. Bombs have exploded and killed hundreds. If you find yourself in this situation when you are in the country, do not go outside of where you are staying. The army may be called in as well. This can bring about devastating gunfights in the street. You may have to stay there for quite some time, to let things calm down.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,122 | How to Be Safe in the Chat Rooms | 1. Keeping Your Personal Information Private
1-1. Limit information you put on your public profiles.
While some predators may ask you for personal information, others may stalk you and look at your public profiles to get information about you. To avoid this, limit the amount of specific information you put on your chatroom or social media profiles.
Put only very general information about yourself, such as your general interests or the country you live in.
1-2. Do not tell people where you live or frequent.
Perhaps the most important part of staying safe while in a chatroom is not providing information about your actual physical location. Without this information, people can't physically harm you. As a result, don't tell anyone where you live, the places you hang out, or where you go to school or work.
1-3. Avoid giving out your full name.
Instead of using your name, try using a nickname or an alias. This way, you'll be able to personalize your online presence, but safeguard your personal information and life. Ultimately, people you meet in chatrooms don't really need to know your real name.
Your nickname can be a version of your real name or something your friends and family call you.
1-4. Do not give your phone number out.
While it may seem okay to give someone your phone number, that person can use your number to harass you, stalk you, and/or intimidate you. In addition, they could use the telephone to get you to trust them and then manipulate you. As a result, never give out your phone number to people you meet online.
1-5. Avoid posting photographs.
Even if your photographs don't show street names, license plates, or other information that can be used to identify you, posting them can still open you up to danger. Photographs that show what you (or your friends) look like can give away enough information to encourage unwanted attention. Ultimately, you could attract the attention of a predator or stalker.
2. Interacting with People Offline
2-1. Avoid meeting people you've met online.
One of the easiest ways to protect yourself when in a chatroom is to refuse to meet people you've met there. This is important, as predators, stalkers, and others who want to do you harm may suggest meeting up somewhere at some point. In the end, simply say no to meeting in real life.
2-2. Never meet in a private location, if you do plan to meet someone.
Any meeting you schedule with someone you met online should be in a public location. This way, there will be others around in case something goes wrong.
Meet in a place where security or police are nearby.
Consider places like malls, coffee shops, or at large social gatherings.
Don't go to a location you're not familiar with already.
2-3. Tell a friend if you'll be meeting someone from a chatroom.
Notify a friend or family member that you'll be meeting someone you know from a chatroom. Tell them the location, and ask them to call you if they haven't heard from you in a certain amount of time.
Bring friends with you for extra backup, if you'd like.
2-4. Call the police if you think someone you met online is stalking you.
If for some reason you suspect that someone you met online knows where you live, is following you, or stalking you, call the police immediately. While your local police may not be able to stop someone outside their jurisdiction from harassing you, they may be able to work with authorities elsewhere.
Describe the person who is stalking you.
Let the police know you may have met the person online.
Explain to them that you feel threatened.
3. Being Aware of Predators
3-1. Watch for people who make sexually suggestive comments.
If someone you're chatting with starts to talk about sex or sexual topics, you should stop talking to them. This includes them talking about or describing sexual acts. In addition, you should be very suspicious of anyone who asks you to talk about sexual acts or requests you to engage in them offline.
Cease communications with anyone who requests a picture of you naked or engaging in a sexual act.
3-2. Be suspicious of people who ask personal questions.
Although it might seem normal for someone to ask you questions about yourself, you should be suspicious of people who ask you personal questions. Some questions include:
What you look like, including your physical characteristics like the color of your hair and skin, your weight, and height.
What your family situation or living situation is like. If anyone asks whether you are alone, live alone, or are frequently on your on, you should be suspicious.
3-3. Stay in public chatrooms.
Public chat rooms – where there are many people chatting – are often safer than private chatrooms. If someone asks you to join them in a private chatroom, you should view this with suspicion.
4. Ceasing Communication and Reporting Threats
4-1. Block threatening or scary people immediately.
The very instant someone threatens or scares you, you should use whatever tools the chatroom or social media site has to block that person. By blocking the person, you'll limit their ability to scare you. In the end, they'll probably move on to bothering other people.
4-2. Log off if you feel uncomfortable.
Perhaps the easiest way you can protect yourself is to log out of the chatroom if someone makes you feel uncomfortable. Cyberbullies, predators, and trolls immediately lose power over you when you log out. By logging out, you'll empower and safeguard yourself.
4-3. Report suspicious activity.
If someone in a chatroom suggests that they are going to hurt you or someone else, if they threaten violence, or do anything that leads you to be suspicious of them, you should report them immediately. You can report them to the chatroom's moderator, the service the chatroom is hosted by, or the police.
4-4. Tell others what is going on.
If someone online makes you uncomfortable, scared, or threatens you, you should tell someone immediately. Whether you're a teenager or an adult, your friends and loved ones will be able to give you guidance and perspective when it comes to the person who made you uncomfortable.
Remember, telling is not snitching or tattling.
Ask your parents for help if online activity makes you uncomfortable.
Talk to friends about what is going on online.
4-5. Report cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying is the act of someone trying to intimidate you, make you feel bad, or simply harassing you. If someone commits cyberbullying against you or someone you know, you should report it to an adult or an appropriate authority. For a list of places to report cyberbullying, visit: https://cyberbullying.org/report.
Cyber-violence includes pretending that the person knows everything about you and threatening to harm or kill you, your family, your friends or your pets.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keeping Your Personal Information Private\\n1-1. Limit information you put on your public profiles.\\nWhile some predators may ask you for personal information, others may stalk you and look at your public profiles to get information about you. To avoid this, limit the amount of specific information you put on your chatroom or social media profiles.\\nPut only very general information about yourself, such as your general interests or the country you live in.\\n1-2. Do not tell people where you live or frequent.\\nPerhaps the most important part of staying safe while in a chatroom is not providing information about your actual physical location. Without this information, people can't physically harm you. As a result, don't tell anyone where you live, the places you hang out, or where you go to school or work.\\n1-3. Avoid giving out your full name.\\nInstead of using your name, try using a nickname or an alias. This way, you'll be able to personalize your online presence, but safeguard your personal information and life. Ultimately, people you meet in chatrooms don't really need to know your real name.\\nYour nickname can be a version of your real name or something your friends and family call you.\\n1-4. Do not give your phone number out.\\nWhile it may seem okay to give someone your phone number, that person can use your number to harass you, stalk you, and/or intimidate you. In addition, they could use the telephone to get you to trust them and then manipulate you. As a result, never give out your phone number to people you meet online.\\n1-5. Avoid posting photographs.\\nEven if your photographs don't show street names, license plates, or other information that can be used to identify you, posting them can still open you up to danger. Photographs that show what you (or your friends) look like can give away enough information to encourage unwanted attention. Ultimately, you could attract the attention of a predator or stalker.\\n2. Interacting with People Offline\\n2-1. Avoid meeting people you've met online.\\nOne of the easiest ways to protect yourself when in a chatroom is to refuse to meet people you've met there. This is important, as predators, stalkers, and others who want to do you harm may suggest meeting up somewhere at some point. In the end, simply say no to meeting in real life.\\n2-2. Never meet in a private location, if you do plan to meet someone.\\nAny meeting you schedule with someone you met online should be in a public location. This way, there will be others around in case something goes wrong.\\nMeet in a place where security or police are nearby.\\nConsider places like malls, coffee shops, or at large social gatherings.\\nDon't go to a location you're not familiar with already.\\n2-3. Tell a friend if you'll be meeting someone from a chatroom.\\nNotify a friend or family member that you'll be meeting someone you know from a chatroom. Tell them the location, and ask them to call you if they haven't heard from you in a certain amount of time.\\nBring friends with you for extra backup, if you'd like.\\n2-4. Call the police if you think someone you met online is stalking you.\\nIf for some reason you suspect that someone you met online knows where you live, is following you, or stalking you, call the police immediately. While your local police may not be able to stop someone outside their jurisdiction from harassing you, they may be able to work with authorities elsewhere.\\nDescribe the person who is stalking you.\\nLet the police know you may have met the person online.\\nExplain to them that you feel threatened.\\n3. Being Aware of Predators\\n3-1. Watch for people who make sexually suggestive comments.\\nIf someone you're chatting with starts to talk about sex or sexual topics, you should stop talking to them. This includes them talking about or describing sexual acts. In addition, you should be very suspicious of anyone who asks you to talk about sexual acts or requests you to engage in them offline.\\nCease communications with anyone who requests a picture of you naked or engaging in a sexual act.\\n3-2. Be suspicious of people who ask personal questions.\\nAlthough it might seem normal for someone to ask you questions about yourself, you should be suspicious of people who ask you personal questions. Some questions include:\\nWhat you look like, including your physical characteristics like the color of your hair and skin, your weight, and height.\\nWhat your family situation or living situation is like. If anyone asks whether you are alone, live alone, or are frequently on your on, you should be suspicious.\\n3-3. Stay in public chatrooms.\\nPublic chat rooms – where there are many people chatting – are often safer than private chatrooms. If someone asks you to join them in a private chatroom, you should view this with suspicion.\\n4. Ceasing Communication and Reporting Threats\\n4-1. Block threatening or scary people immediately.\\nThe very instant someone threatens or scares you, you should use whatever tools the chatroom or social media site has to block that person. By blocking the person, you'll limit their ability to scare you. In the end, they'll probably move on to bothering other people.\\n4-2. Log off if you feel uncomfortable.\\nPerhaps the easiest way you can protect yourself is to log out of the chatroom if someone makes you feel uncomfortable. Cyberbullies, predators, and trolls immediately lose power over you when you log out. By logging out, you'll empower and safeguard yourself.\\n4-3. Report suspicious activity.\\nIf someone in a chatroom suggests that they are going to hurt you or someone else, if they threaten violence, or do anything that leads you to be suspicious of them, you should report them immediately. You can report them to the chatroom's moderator, the service the chatroom is hosted by, or the police.\\n4-4. Tell others what is going on.\\nIf someone online makes you uncomfortable, scared, or threatens you, you should tell someone immediately. Whether you're a teenager or an adult, your friends and loved ones will be able to give you guidance and perspective when it comes to the person who made you uncomfortable.\\nRemember, telling is not snitching or tattling.\\nAsk your parents for help if online activity makes you uncomfortable.\\nTalk to friends about what is going on online.\\n4-5. Report cyberbullying.\\nCyberbullying is the act of someone trying to intimidate you, make you feel bad, or simply harassing you. If someone commits cyberbullying against you or someone you know, you should report it to an adult or an appropriate authority. For a list of places to report cyberbullying, visit: https://cyberbullying.org/report.\\nCyber-violence includes pretending that the person knows everything about you and threatening to harm or kill you, your family, your friends or your pets.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Chatrooms are a fun place to engage in discussion about a variety of topics. While most people who frequent online chatrooms are good people, there are some who are there to prey on or bully other people. Fortunately, by taking steps to keep your personal information private, being cautious when it comes to interacting with people you meet online, and ending communication with people who threaten you, you'll be better able to safeguard yourself from predators.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Personal Information Private\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Limit information you put on your public profiles.\", \"描述\": \"While some predators may ask you for personal information, others may stalk you and look at your public profiles to get information about you. To avoid this, limit the amount of specific information you put on your chatroom or social media profiles.\\nPut only very general information about yourself, such as your general interests or the country you live in.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not tell people where you live or frequent.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps the most important part of staying safe while in a chatroom is not providing information about your actual physical location. Without this information, people can't physically harm you. As a result, don't tell anyone where you live, the places you hang out, or where you go to school or work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid giving out your full name.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of using your name, try using a nickname or an alias. This way, you'll be able to personalize your online presence, but safeguard your personal information and life. Ultimately, people you meet in chatrooms don't really need to know your real name.\\nYour nickname can be a version of your real name or something your friends and family call you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do not give your phone number out.\", \"描述\": \"While it may seem okay to give someone your phone number, that person can use your number to harass you, stalk you, and/or intimidate you. In addition, they could use the telephone to get you to trust them and then manipulate you. As a result, never give out your phone number to people you meet online.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid posting photographs.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your photographs don't show street names, license plates, or other information that can be used to identify you, posting them can still open you up to danger. Photographs that show what you (or your friends) look like can give away enough information to encourage unwanted attention. Ultimately, you could attract the attention of a predator or stalker.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interacting with People Offline\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid meeting people you've met online.\", \"描述\": \"One of the easiest ways to protect yourself when in a chatroom is to refuse to meet people you've met there. This is important, as predators, stalkers, and others who want to do you harm may suggest meeting up somewhere at some point. In the end, simply say no to meeting in real life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Never meet in a private location, if you do plan to meet someone.\", \"描述\": \"Any meeting you schedule with someone you met online should be in a public location. This way, there will be others around in case something goes wrong.\\nMeet in a place where security or police are nearby.\\nConsider places like malls, coffee shops, or at large social gatherings.\\nDon't go to a location you're not familiar with already.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell a friend if you'll be meeting someone from a chatroom.\", \"描述\": \"Notify a friend or family member that you'll be meeting someone you know from a chatroom. Tell them the location, and ask them to call you if they haven't heard from you in a certain amount of time.\\nBring friends with you for extra backup, if you'd like.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Call the police if you think someone you met online is stalking you.\", \"描述\": \"If for some reason you suspect that someone you met online knows where you live, is following you, or stalking you, call the police immediately. While your local police may not be able to stop someone outside their jurisdiction from harassing you, they may be able to work with authorities elsewhere.\\nDescribe the person who is stalking you.\\nLet the police know you may have met the person online.\\nExplain to them that you feel threatened.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Aware of Predators\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch for people who make sexually suggestive comments.\", \"描述\": \"If someone you're chatting with starts to talk about sex or sexual topics, you should stop talking to them. This includes them talking about or describing sexual acts. In addition, you should be very suspicious of anyone who asks you to talk about sexual acts or requests you to engage in them offline.\\nCease communications with anyone who requests a picture of you naked or engaging in a sexual act.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be suspicious of people who ask personal questions.\", \"描述\": \"Although it might seem normal for someone to ask you questions about yourself, you should be suspicious of people who ask you personal questions. Some questions include:\\nWhat you look like, including your physical characteristics like the color of your hair and skin, your weight, and height.\\nWhat your family situation or living situation is like. If anyone asks whether you are alone, live alone, or are frequently on your on, you should be suspicious.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay in public chatrooms.\", \"描述\": \"Public chat rooms – where there are many people chatting – are often safer than private chatrooms. If someone asks you to join them in a private chatroom, you should view this with suspicion.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ceasing Communication and Reporting Threats\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Block threatening or scary people immediately.\", \"描述\": \"The very instant someone threatens or scares you, you should use whatever tools the chatroom or social media site has to block that person. By blocking the person, you'll limit their ability to scare you. In the end, they'll probably move on to bothering other people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Log off if you feel uncomfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps the easiest way you can protect yourself is to log out of the chatroom if someone makes you feel uncomfortable. Cyberbullies, predators, and trolls immediately lose power over you when you log out. By logging out, you'll empower and safeguard yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Report suspicious activity.\", \"描述\": \"If someone in a chatroom suggests that they are going to hurt you or someone else, if they threaten violence, or do anything that leads you to be suspicious of them, you should report them immediately. You can report them to the chatroom's moderator, the service the chatroom is hosted by, or the police.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell others what is going on.\", \"描述\": \"If someone online makes you uncomfortable, scared, or threatens you, you should tell someone immediately. Whether you're a teenager or an adult, your friends and loved ones will be able to give you guidance and perspective when it comes to the person who made you uncomfortable.\\nRemember, telling is not snitching or tattling.\\nAsk your parents for help if online activity makes you uncomfortable.\\nTalk to friends about what is going on online.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Report cyberbullying.\", \"描述\": \"Cyberbullying is the act of someone trying to intimidate you, make you feel bad, or simply harassing you. If someone commits cyberbullying against you or someone you know, you should report it to an adult or an appropriate authority. For a list of places to report cyberbullying, visit: https://cyberbullying.org/report.\\nCyber-violence includes pretending that the person knows everything about you and threatening to harm or kill you, your family, your friends or your pets.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,123 | How to Be Safe on a Blind Date | 1. Look up your date online.
Google their name just to see what pops up.
Try to get their last name before you meet up with them so you can do a more in-depth search. Look for their social media pages or any news articles that you can find about them to see if they’re really who they say they are.
If you find them on social media and their pictures match up, that’s a good sign. If you can’t find anything about them or some sketchy stuff about them pops up, that’s a red flag.
Feel free to ask your date for their social media, too. That way, you can get a sense of who they are and see who they're connected with.
2. Tell a friend where you’re going.
Give them the address and the timeframe that you’ll be there.
Keep your phone handy so you can call a friend or send a text if you need to. Ask your friend to check up on you at the end of the night to make sure you’ve made it home safely.
You could even tell a few people where you’re going just to be safe.
3. Meet in a crowded, well-lit place.
A coffee shop or a restaurant are good choices.
A bar, a park, or a shopping center also work. Don’t invite your date over to your home, and don’t go to their home, either. The more people you’re around, the better.
If you want to feel more comfortable on your date, pick a place you’re familiar with. That way, if you need to leave quickly, you’ll know exactly where to go.
Meeting up in the afternoon is usually safer than meeting up in the evening time. Try to get together when it’s still light out for extra safety.
4. Arrange your own transportation.
Don’t rely on your date to pick you up or drop you off.
Either take your own car or download a ride-sharing app like Uber or Lyft on your phone. Public transportation is fine, but make sure you check the schedule before you leave—some busses and trains stop running after a certain point.
Never give your address to a blind date to come and pick you up. If they end up being not so nice, they now know where you live.
5. Carry pepper spray with you just in case.
It’s a good defense weapon to have on your person.
Slide it into your pocket or your purse and keep it with you throughout the night. If you ever feel threatened, just showing it to a potential attacker is usually enough to get them to back off.
Always practice using your pepper spray somewhere safe before you go out on a date. Read your user manual to learn how to point, aim, and shoot your pepper spray so it hits the target.
6. Go out with friends for your first date.
Suggest a group date so you feel more comfortable.
If your blind date is a friend of a friend, ask your mutual acquaintance to organize a fun double date. You can all meet up at a restaurant or get coffee together so you can meet your blind date around other people.
This is also a great way to get to know someone in a more casual setting. It takes the pressure off of both of you so you can focus on having a good time.
7. Keep your food and drink within eyesight.
Never leave your date alone with anything of yours.
Unfortunately, there are certain drugs that people use to spike food and drinks that are virtually tasteless. Try to finish up your food and drink before you head off to the bathroom if you can.
Similarly, never take an open drink from your date unless you saw the bartender pour it.
8. Go easy on alcohol.
Try not to drink so much that you get drunk.
You’ll want to keep your wits about you on a first date with someone new. It’s fine to have a few glasses of wine to calm your nerves, but stay away from the hard stuff for now.
If your date pressures you to drink more than you want to, that’s a red flag. Firmly tell them no and then leave the date ASAP.
9. Don’t give out your personal information.
Get to know your date, but don’t divulge too much.
Don’t tell your date your home address or the exact place that you work until you know them a bit better. It's extremely suspicious if your date pressures you for your phone number, asks for financial assistance, or wants to know your credit card number or social security number.
10. Trust your gut.
If something feels weird, don’t ignore it.
When we get “gut feelings,” it’s actually our subconscious minds picking up on something we aren’t aware of. If you show up to the date and you get a bad feeling, don’t be afraid to make an excuse and leave.
You could have a friend call you and pretend to have an emergency, or you could simply tell your date that something urgent came up and you have to go.
If you feel like your life is in danger, call emergency services right away.
Tips
If you want to leave a date but you feel unsafe doing so, ask a worker nearby to help you leave out the back.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Look up your date online.\\nGoogle their name just to see what pops up.\\nTry to get their last name before you meet up with them so you can do a more in-depth search. Look for their social media pages or any news articles that you can find about them to see if they’re really who they say they are.\\nIf you find them on social media and their pictures match up, that’s a good sign. If you can’t find anything about them or some sketchy stuff about them pops up, that’s a red flag.\\nFeel free to ask your date for their social media, too. That way, you can get a sense of who they are and see who they're connected with.\\n2. Tell a friend where you’re going.\\nGive them the address and the timeframe that you’ll be there.\\nKeep your phone handy so you can call a friend or send a text if you need to. Ask your friend to check up on you at the end of the night to make sure you’ve made it home safely.\\nYou could even tell a few people where you’re going just to be safe.\\n3. Meet in a crowded, well-lit place.\\nA coffee shop or a restaurant are good choices.\\nA bar, a park, or a shopping center also work. Don’t invite your date over to your home, and don’t go to their home, either. The more people you’re around, the better.\\nIf you want to feel more comfortable on your date, pick a place you’re familiar with. That way, if you need to leave quickly, you’ll know exactly where to go.\\nMeeting up in the afternoon is usually safer than meeting up in the evening time. Try to get together when it’s still light out for extra safety.\\n4. Arrange your own transportation.\\nDon’t rely on your date to pick you up or drop you off.\\nEither take your own car or download a ride-sharing app like Uber or Lyft on your phone. Public transportation is fine, but make sure you check the schedule before you leave—some busses and trains stop running after a certain point.\\nNever give your address to a blind date to come and pick you up. If they end up being not so nice, they now know where you live.\\n5. Carry pepper spray with you just in case.\\nIt’s a good defense weapon to have on your person.\\nSlide it into your pocket or your purse and keep it with you throughout the night. If you ever feel threatened, just showing it to a potential attacker is usually enough to get them to back off.\\nAlways practice using your pepper spray somewhere safe before you go out on a date. Read your user manual to learn how to point, aim, and shoot your pepper spray so it hits the target.\\n6. Go out with friends for your first date.\\nSuggest a group date so you feel more comfortable.\\nIf your blind date is a friend of a friend, ask your mutual acquaintance to organize a fun double date. You can all meet up at a restaurant or get coffee together so you can meet your blind date around other people.\\nThis is also a great way to get to know someone in a more casual setting. It takes the pressure off of both of you so you can focus on having a good time.\\n7. Keep your food and drink within eyesight.\\nNever leave your date alone with anything of yours.\\nUnfortunately, there are certain drugs that people use to spike food and drinks that are virtually tasteless. Try to finish up your food and drink before you head off to the bathroom if you can.\\nSimilarly, never take an open drink from your date unless you saw the bartender pour it.\\n8. Go easy on alcohol.\\nTry not to drink so much that you get drunk.\\nYou’ll want to keep your wits about you on a first date with someone new. It’s fine to have a few glasses of wine to calm your nerves, but stay away from the hard stuff for now.\\nIf your date pressures you to drink more than you want to, that’s a red flag. Firmly tell them no and then leave the date ASAP.\\n9. Don’t give out your personal information.\\nGet to know your date, but don’t divulge too much.\\nDon’t tell your date your home address or the exact place that you work until you know them a bit better. It's extremely suspicious if your date pressures you for your phone number, asks for financial assistance, or wants to know your credit card number or social security number.\\n10. Trust your gut.\\nIf something feels weird, don’t ignore it.\\nWhen we get “gut feelings,” it’s actually our subconscious minds picking up on something we aren’t aware of. If you show up to the date and you get a bad feeling, don’t be afraid to make an excuse and leave.\\nYou could have a friend call you and pretend to have an emergency, or you could simply tell your date that something urgent came up and you have to go.\\nIf you feel like your life is in danger, call emergency services right away.\\nTips\\nIf you want to leave a date but you feel unsafe doing so, ask a worker nearby to help you leave out the back.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Getting set up on a blind date is pretty exciting, and your potential new romance might leave you feeling giddy and delighted. However, meeting someone new always comes with a little bit of risk, even if they’re a friend of a friend. Read through these tips to learn how you can stay safe to focus on having a great time with your blind date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look up your date online.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Google their name just to see what pops up.\", \"描述\": \"Try to get their last name before you meet up with them so you can do a more in-depth search. Look for their social media pages or any news articles that you can find about them to see if they’re really who they say they are.\\nIf you find them on social media and their pictures match up, that’s a good sign. If you can’t find anything about them or some sketchy stuff about them pops up, that’s a red flag.\\nFeel free to ask your date for their social media, too. That way, you can get a sense of who they are and see who they're connected with.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell a friend where you’re going.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give them the address and the timeframe that you’ll be there.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your phone handy so you can call a friend or send a text if you need to. Ask your friend to check up on you at the end of the night to make sure you’ve made it home safely.\\nYou could even tell a few people where you’re going just to be safe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Meet in a crowded, well-lit place.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A coffee shop or a restaurant are good choices.\", \"描述\": \"A bar, a park, or a shopping center also work. Don’t invite your date over to your home, and don’t go to their home, either. The more people you’re around, the better.\\nIf you want to feel more comfortable on your date, pick a place you’re familiar with. That way, if you need to leave quickly, you’ll know exactly where to go.\\nMeeting up in the afternoon is usually safer than meeting up in the evening time. Try to get together when it’s still light out for extra safety.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Arrange your own transportation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t rely on your date to pick you up or drop you off.\", \"描述\": \"Either take your own car or download a ride-sharing app like Uber or Lyft on your phone. Public transportation is fine, but make sure you check the schedule before you leave—some busses and trains stop running after a certain point.\\nNever give your address to a blind date to come and pick you up. If they end up being not so nice, they now know where you live.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Carry pepper spray with you just in case.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a good defense weapon to have on your person.\", \"描述\": \"Slide it into your pocket or your purse and keep it with you throughout the night. If you ever feel threatened, just showing it to a potential attacker is usually enough to get them to back off.\\nAlways practice using your pepper spray somewhere safe before you go out on a date. Read your user manual to learn how to point, aim, and shoot your pepper spray so it hits the target.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go out with friends for your first date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Suggest a group date so you feel more comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"If your blind date is a friend of a friend, ask your mutual acquaintance to organize a fun double date. You can all meet up at a restaurant or get coffee together so you can meet your blind date around other people.\\nThis is also a great way to get to know someone in a more casual setting. It takes the pressure off of both of you so you can focus on having a good time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep your food and drink within eyesight.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Never leave your date alone with anything of yours.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, there are certain drugs that people use to spike food and drinks that are virtually tasteless. Try to finish up your food and drink before you head off to the bathroom if you can.\\nSimilarly, never take an open drink from your date unless you saw the bartender pour it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Go easy on alcohol.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try not to drink so much that you get drunk.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll want to keep your wits about you on a first date with someone new. It’s fine to have a few glasses of wine to calm your nerves, but stay away from the hard stuff for now.\\nIf your date pressures you to drink more than you want to, that’s a red flag. Firmly tell them no and then leave the date ASAP.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don’t give out your personal information.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get to know your date, but don’t divulge too much.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t tell your date your home address or the exact place that you work until you know them a bit better. It's extremely suspicious if your date pressures you for your phone number, asks for financial assistance, or wants to know your credit card number or social security number.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Trust your gut.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If something feels weird, don’t ignore it.\", \"描述\": \"When we get “gut feelings,” it’s actually our subconscious minds picking up on something we aren’t aware of. If you show up to the date and you get a bad feeling, don’t be afraid to make an excuse and leave.\\nYou could have a friend call you and pretend to have an emergency, or you could simply tell your date that something urgent came up and you have to go.\\nIf you feel like your life is in danger, call emergency services right away.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you want to leave a date but you feel unsafe doing so, ask a worker nearby to help you leave out the back.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,124 | How to Be Safe on a First Date | 1. Preparing for Your Date
1-1. Get to know them first.
Before you ever agree to go on a first date with someone, you should know basic information about them. Not only should you have some idea of whether or not your personalities are similar or if you share overlapping hobbies, you will want to know things like what their name is, what school they go to / what they do for a living, and their age. Preferably you should have an idea of what they look like as well and contact information.
If your date does not want to give out their telephone number before asking for your own, that is considered sketchy.
Do not be lulled into a false sense of security just because you know someone; 8 out of 10 rape victims know their assailant.
Have a healthy amount of skepticism: just because someone tells you something doesn't mean they couldn't be lying, particularly if it sounds too good to be true.
1-2. Google them.
What a person tells you they're like and what they may actually be like can be two different things. A Google search of their name may bring back results on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media websites that may give you a better feel for what your potential date is like when they're not trying to present their best side to you.
1-3. Tell someone.
Pick a reliable friend, roommate, or family member and tell them that you're going on a date. Tell them where you're going, what time the date is supposed to start, and when it is expected to end. Tell them your date's full name, and if you have it their telephone number, give them that as well. Make sure they also have your telephone number.
If you have a picture of the person you're going on a date with, give that to your friend, as well.
1-4. Ask a friend to check in on you.
After you've given them your cell phone number for your date, ask them to please check in on you once or twice during the date with a phone call or text. Tell them that if you do not respond within two hours of a text or phone call that they should call the police.
1-5. Meet in a public place.
Never invite a stranger to your home, agree to meet them at theirs, or agree to meet at any other private place for a first meeting. The ideal first-date location should be a place that is public and where there will be many people, like a restaurant, movie theater, or a club. It is important that you not go somewhere with someone you do not know well where you could be easily isolated.
If you have another friend who is also dating who would be willing, you could try making it a double-date so that you're sure to not be alone.
1-6. Be responsible for your own transportation.
Police recommend that you never tell a date where you live early on in the dating stages. You do not want an unsuccessful date to turn into a stalking situation. By driving yourself or getting a ride, you won't be dependent on them if things go south.
If you take a bus or have someone coming to pick you up from your date, that gives you an extra excuse to leave if you need it.
1-7. Do not feel inclined to dress conservatively.
Dressing conservatively does not guarantee your safety. Women get mistreated wearing sweatshirts as well as cocktail dresses, and it is not OK either way. Do not think that dressing a certain way will either protect you, or encourage untoward behavior.
People have traditionally blamed women for "asking for it", when sexually assaulted when wearing sexy clothing, but this is no excuse or reason.
Dress for mobility. If you have to leave a situation, or walk a block to get to the bus stop, be sure you can do so without getting blisters, tottering on too-high heels, getting frostbite, or otherwise unable to simply go if you need to.
1-8. Pack the appropriate items.
Make sure that you never leave for a first date without your cell phone and a wallet with cash. If you end up splitting the bill for dinner, avoiding using a credit or debit card means that you won't leave behind a paper trail that could link you to your workplace or home address. You will need your cell phone to send and receive texts and phone calls, and it may be handy in case of an emergency.
Although some people may feel they are unnecessary, bringing mace and/or a rape whistle on the off chance your date turns violent could prevent you from becoming a victim, and should be very seriously considered.
2. Operating While on the Date
2-1. Courtesy-text your friend.
Make sure that you respond to your friend that you asked to make sure you're okay. You don't want them to become falsely alarmed! Additionally, you can text them when you're arriving to the location, when you're leaving, and when you make it safely back home. It would also be polite to let them know if your date is going long.
2-2. Ask good questions.
While you're on your date, of course you will have the opportunity to talk and get to know each other better. Don't waste this opportunity with small talk about the weather or your food. Use it to ask meaningful questions, like if they have any close friends, what their family was like growing up, and what their current most important goal is. Questions like these will reveal to you what kinds of values and mindset your date has, and give you greater insight as to whether this is someone you'd be interested in continuing to see.
2-3. Be assertive.
Only you can determine for yourself what you are comfortable with, whether it's if you want to move on to a more intimate setting, reveal more detailed information about yourself, or engage in sexual activities. If your date starts to pressure you for things you are not ready to do, don't feel like you have to give in to their desires. Just tell them a polite but firm no.
A good partner will not be impatient and will respect your boundaries and opinions.
Someone who continues to pressure you after you have said 'no' is putting off a very strong red flag.
2-4. Watch out for disturbing behavior.
Listen to the things that your date is saying and be on the look-out for warning signs. A date is the time for a person to be putting their best foot forward to impress you, and their behaviors will only become more relaxed with time. If they are behaving in ways that make you uncomfortable or anxious, this will probably not improve over time.
They show up inappropriately angry or in a bad mood, which may or may not become directed toward you.
They treat the waitstaff, employees, or strangers at any place where you meet poorly or aggressively.
They refer to their exes or members of the opposite sex using derogatory language, or call them "crazy."
They insult you or put you down.
They tell you information that directly contradicts things they've told you previously, ie: it looks like they're lying to you.
They make strange comments that seem out of place, like talking about their machete collection or punching exes.
They ask questions about your or offer details about their sexual or marital history that seems inappropriate for a first date.
They start making explicitly sexual comments or advances, or reveal their genitalia in public places.
2-5. Trust your instincts.
Your brain has a way of trying to communicate with you when it recognizes logically that something dangerous or unsafe is happening by manipulating how you feel; we often call these feelings "gut instincts." When your brain registers that something unsafe is happening, it will create feelings of unease and tension in your stomach. Do not be afraid to listen to these feelings!
Do not fall into the trap of feeling like you have to explain away or excuse a date's bad or strange behavior.
2-6. Stay sober.
There's nothing wrong with going out for a drink, but it's generally inadvisable to get drunk. Drinking leads to lowered inhibitions, the reduced ability to assess risks and make good choices, impedes the ability to give consent, and makes it harder to fight back should someone try to sexually assault you. It can also lead people to being aggressors of sexual assault.
Try planning a date during the daytime, when you normally won't be expected to drink anyway. Also, more people are out and about during the daytime, which can give you some extra security.
If you do order a drink from the bar, opt for a bottled beer, and make sure it's opened in front of you.
2-7. Don't leave your drink unattended.
Regardless of what you are drinking, whether it's alcohol or water, do not leave your glass unattended, even to use the restroom. GHB, Ketamine, and Rohypnol are all fast-acting drugs commonly referred to as "date rape drugs" that can be slipped into a beverage without you ever knowing it. Only accept drinks directly from a bartender or waiter; don't even let it pass through your date's hands.
If you leave for the restroom and come back and forgot to finish your drink off before-hand, ask for a new one. If your date has a problem with that, the issue is with them, not you.
2-8. Be prepared to split.
Although it would be nice to be honest if you're not into a person or not feeling safe with them, it is impossible to tell how someone may react to hearing that kind of statement. Particularly if you're feeling unsafe, there may be good reason for that, and you don't want them to react violently. So have some reason prepared for just-in-case, and don't be afraid to use it!
If you arrived by public transportation, you could say that you have to leave to catch the bus.
If your friend drove you, say that they have to pick you up early because they had a schedule conflict on their end.
Get your friend to text you about a sick pet or a breakup and say that you're needed elsewhere.
3. Acting in an Emergency
3-1. Leave.
If your date appears to violent, emotionally unstable, or makes you uncomfortable for any reason, it is okay to leave. Use any of the excuses that you have prepared and get out of there.
If you are truly desperate and don't want them to know you're leaving, tell them you're going to the bathroom and take any personal items with you, then sneak out another way.
3-2. Get assistance.
If your date tries to prevent you from leaving, physically or through verbal coercion, get someone nearby to help you, like a waiter or another couple. This could be as simple as asking them to get the manager or call the police, but the point is that by drawing other people into the situation, an aggressive person is more likely to back off out of a desire to not get into trouble.
Get loud. Although embarrassment might make you want to keep quiet and not make a spectacle, it is to your advantage to be loud and make sure other people can hear that you are not interested in this person's advances or company. This may convince people, without your solicitation, to come help you.
3-3. Fight back.
If for some reason you should be cornered and there is no way to avoid violence, use proper self defense techniques to make your assailant back off. If you have it with you, using mace is perhaps the easiest method. When attacking, aim for the areas of the body where you can do the most damage in the least amount of time; these include the eyes, nose, ears, neck, knees, and groin.
Kick the side of the knee to injure or even incapacitate an attacker.
Gouge, poke, or scratch an attacker's eyes with your fingers or knuckles.
If your attacker is very close to you, user the heel of your palm to strike the under portion of their nose, throwing the whole weight of your body into the motion.
The goal of attacking your attacker is not to beat them up but to prevent them from following you and, in the case that they are holding you, make them let go.
3-4. Get somewhere safe.
Once your attacker lets go, run away, preferably in the opposite direction. If your attacker recovers and gets a hold of you after being hurt, they will likely be very angry, so the situation will be even more dangerous for you. Go somewhere where there are a lot of people, or get into your car to drive away.
Do not immediately go back home. Should this person be capable of following you, you do not want to accidentally show them where you live.
3-5. Call 9-1-1.
If you have been attacked, this is considered an emergency situation. You will want to call 9-1-1 so that police can be dispatched to help you and, if necessary, make an arrest. Be prepared that when you contact the emergency operator you will need to try to tell them exactly what happened, where it happened, and where you are now.
Stay on the line. A sudden disconnect could mean that something has gone very wrong for you, and the operator will try to call you back. This could delay emergency response time and tie up the lines, so be sure to stay on the line until you are told you can hang up.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing for Your Date\\n1-1. Get to know them first.\\nBefore you ever agree to go on a first date with someone, you should know basic information about them. Not only should you have some idea of whether or not your personalities are similar or if you share overlapping hobbies, you will want to know things like what their name is, what school they go to / what they do for a living, and their age. Preferably you should have an idea of what they look like as well and contact information. \\nIf your date does not want to give out their telephone number before asking for your own, that is considered sketchy.\\nDo not be lulled into a false sense of security just because you know someone; 8 out of 10 rape victims know their assailant.\\nHave a healthy amount of skepticism: just because someone tells you something doesn't mean they couldn't be lying, particularly if it sounds too good to be true.\\n1-2. Google them.\\nWhat a person tells you they're like and what they may actually be like can be two different things. A Google search of their name may bring back results on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media websites that may give you a better feel for what your potential date is like when they're not trying to present their best side to you.\\n1-3. Tell someone.\\nPick a reliable friend, roommate, or family member and tell them that you're going on a date. Tell them where you're going, what time the date is supposed to start, and when it is expected to end. Tell them your date's full name, and if you have it their telephone number, give them that as well. Make sure they also have your telephone number.\\nIf you have a picture of the person you're going on a date with, give that to your friend, as well.\\n1-4. Ask a friend to check in on you.\\nAfter you've given them your cell phone number for your date, ask them to please check in on you once or twice during the date with a phone call or text. Tell them that if you do not respond within two hours of a text or phone call that they should call the police.\\n1-5. Meet in a public place.\\nNever invite a stranger to your home, agree to meet them at theirs, or agree to meet at any other private place for a first meeting. The ideal first-date location should be a place that is public and where there will be many people, like a restaurant, movie theater, or a club. It is important that you not go somewhere with someone you do not know well where you could be easily isolated.\\nIf you have another friend who is also dating who would be willing, you could try making it a double-date so that you're sure to not be alone.\\n1-6. Be responsible for your own transportation.\\nPolice recommend that you never tell a date where you live early on in the dating stages. You do not want an unsuccessful date to turn into a stalking situation. By driving yourself or getting a ride, you won't be dependent on them if things go south.\\nIf you take a bus or have someone coming to pick you up from your date, that gives you an extra excuse to leave if you need it.\\n1-7. Do not feel inclined to dress conservatively.\\nDressing conservatively does not guarantee your safety. Women get mistreated wearing sweatshirts as well as cocktail dresses, and it is not OK either way. Do not think that dressing a certain way will either protect you, or encourage untoward behavior.\\nPeople have traditionally blamed women for \\\"asking for it\\\", when sexually assaulted when wearing sexy clothing, but this is no excuse or reason.\\nDress for mobility. If you have to leave a situation, or walk a block to get to the bus stop, be sure you can do so without getting blisters, tottering on too-high heels, getting frostbite, or otherwise unable to simply go if you need to.\\n1-8. Pack the appropriate items.\\nMake sure that you never leave for a first date without your cell phone and a wallet with cash. If you end up splitting the bill for dinner, avoiding using a credit or debit card means that you won't leave behind a paper trail that could link you to your workplace or home address. You will need your cell phone to send and receive texts and phone calls, and it may be handy in case of an emergency.\\nAlthough some people may feel they are unnecessary, bringing mace and/or a rape whistle on the off chance your date turns violent could prevent you from becoming a victim, and should be very seriously considered.\\n2. Operating While on the Date\\n2-1. Courtesy-text your friend.\\nMake sure that you respond to your friend that you asked to make sure you're okay. You don't want them to become falsely alarmed! Additionally, you can text them when you're arriving to the location, when you're leaving, and when you make it safely back home. It would also be polite to let them know if your date is going long.\\n2-2. Ask good questions.\\nWhile you're on your date, of course you will have the opportunity to talk and get to know each other better. Don't waste this opportunity with small talk about the weather or your food. Use it to ask meaningful questions, like if they have any close friends, what their family was like growing up, and what their current most important goal is. Questions like these will reveal to you what kinds of values and mindset your date has, and give you greater insight as to whether this is someone you'd be interested in continuing to see.\\n2-3. Be assertive.\\nOnly you can determine for yourself what you are comfortable with, whether it's if you want to move on to a more intimate setting, reveal more detailed information about yourself, or engage in sexual activities. If your date starts to pressure you for things you are not ready to do, don't feel like you have to give in to their desires. Just tell them a polite but firm no.\\nA good partner will not be impatient and will respect your boundaries and opinions.\\nSomeone who continues to pressure you after you have said 'no' is putting off a very strong red flag.\\n2-4. Watch out for disturbing behavior.\\nListen to the things that your date is saying and be on the look-out for warning signs. A date is the time for a person to be putting their best foot forward to impress you, and their behaviors will only become more relaxed with time. If they are behaving in ways that make you uncomfortable or anxious, this will probably not improve over time.\\nThey show up inappropriately angry or in a bad mood, which may or may not become directed toward you.\\nThey treat the waitstaff, employees, or strangers at any place where you meet poorly or aggressively.\\nThey refer to their exes or members of the opposite sex using derogatory language, or call them \\\"crazy.\\\"\\nThey insult you or put you down.\\nThey tell you information that directly contradicts things they've told you previously, ie: it looks like they're lying to you.\\nThey make strange comments that seem out of place, like talking about their machete collection or punching exes.\\nThey ask questions about your or offer details about their sexual or marital history that seems inappropriate for a first date.\\nThey start making explicitly sexual comments or advances, or reveal their genitalia in public places.\\n2-5. Trust your instincts.\\nYour brain has a way of trying to communicate with you when it recognizes logically that something dangerous or unsafe is happening by manipulating how you feel; we often call these feelings \\\"gut instincts.\\\" When your brain registers that something unsafe is happening, it will create feelings of unease and tension in your stomach. Do not be afraid to listen to these feelings!\\nDo not fall into the trap of feeling like you have to explain away or excuse a date's bad or strange behavior.\\n2-6. Stay sober.\\nThere's nothing wrong with going out for a drink, but it's generally inadvisable to get drunk. Drinking leads to lowered inhibitions, the reduced ability to assess risks and make good choices, impedes the ability to give consent, and makes it harder to fight back should someone try to sexually assault you. It can also lead people to being aggressors of sexual assault.\\nTry planning a date during the daytime, when you normally won't be expected to drink anyway. Also, more people are out and about during the daytime, which can give you some extra security.\\nIf you do order a drink from the bar, opt for a bottled beer, and make sure it's opened in front of you.\\n2-7. Don't leave your drink unattended.\\nRegardless of what you are drinking, whether it's alcohol or water, do not leave your glass unattended, even to use the restroom. GHB, Ketamine, and Rohypnol are all fast-acting drugs commonly referred to as \\\"date rape drugs\\\" that can be slipped into a beverage without you ever knowing it. Only accept drinks directly from a bartender or waiter; don't even let it pass through your date's hands.\\nIf you leave for the restroom and come back and forgot to finish your drink off before-hand, ask for a new one. If your date has a problem with that, the issue is with them, not you.\\n2-8. Be prepared to split.\\nAlthough it would be nice to be honest if you're not into a person or not feeling safe with them, it is impossible to tell how someone may react to hearing that kind of statement. Particularly if you're feeling unsafe, there may be good reason for that, and you don't want them to react violently. So have some reason prepared for just-in-case, and don't be afraid to use it!\\nIf you arrived by public transportation, you could say that you have to leave to catch the bus.\\nIf your friend drove you, say that they have to pick you up early because they had a schedule conflict on their end.\\nGet your friend to text you about a sick pet or a breakup and say that you're needed elsewhere.\\n3. Acting in an Emergency\\n3-1. Leave.\\nIf your date appears to violent, emotionally unstable, or makes you uncomfortable for any reason, it is okay to leave. Use any of the excuses that you have prepared and get out of there.\\nIf you are truly desperate and don't want them to know you're leaving, tell them you're going to the bathroom and take any personal items with you, then sneak out another way.\\n3-2. Get assistance.\\nIf your date tries to prevent you from leaving, physically or through verbal coercion, get someone nearby to help you, like a waiter or another couple. This could be as simple as asking them to get the manager or call the police, but the point is that by drawing other people into the situation, an aggressive person is more likely to back off out of a desire to not get into trouble. \\nGet loud. Although embarrassment might make you want to keep quiet and not make a spectacle, it is to your advantage to be loud and make sure other people can hear that you are not interested in this person's advances or company. This may convince people, without your solicitation, to come help you.\\n3-3. Fight back.\\nIf for some reason you should be cornered and there is no way to avoid violence, use proper self defense techniques to make your assailant back off. If you have it with you, using mace is perhaps the easiest method. When attacking, aim for the areas of the body where you can do the most damage in the least amount of time; these include the eyes, nose, ears, neck, knees, and groin.\\nKick the side of the knee to injure or even incapacitate an attacker.\\nGouge, poke, or scratch an attacker's eyes with your fingers or knuckles.\\nIf your attacker is very close to you, user the heel of your palm to strike the under portion of their nose, throwing the whole weight of your body into the motion.\\nThe goal of attacking your attacker is not to beat them up but to prevent them from following you and, in the case that they are holding you, make them let go.\\n3-4. Get somewhere safe.\\nOnce your attacker lets go, run away, preferably in the opposite direction. If your attacker recovers and gets a hold of you after being hurt, they will likely be very angry, so the situation will be even more dangerous for you. Go somewhere where there are a lot of people, or get into your car to drive away. \\nDo not immediately go back home. Should this person be capable of following you, you do not want to accidentally show them where you live.\\n3-5. Call 9-1-1.\\nIf you have been attacked, this is considered an emergency situation. You will want to call 9-1-1 so that police can be dispatched to help you and, if necessary, make an arrest. Be prepared that when you contact the emergency operator you will need to try to tell them exactly what happened, where it happened, and where you are now.\\nStay on the line. A sudden disconnect could mean that something has gone very wrong for you, and the operator will try to call you back. This could delay emergency response time and tie up the lines, so be sure to stay on the line until you are told you can hang up.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"First dates are nerve-wracking enough just worrying about how you look and whether or not you'll hit things off with the other party. Your personal safety is much less fun but an equally important aspect to consider while dating. By carefully preparing for your date, knowing the do's and don't's while on your date, and knowing what to do in an emergency situation, you can be sure to have a fun, safe first date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing for Your Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get to know them first.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ever agree to go on a first date with someone, you should know basic information about them. Not only should you have some idea of whether or not your personalities are similar or if you share overlapping hobbies, you will want to know things like what their name is, what school they go to / what they do for a living, and their age. Preferably you should have an idea of what they look like as well and contact information. \\nIf your date does not want to give out their telephone number before asking for your own, that is considered sketchy.\\nDo not be lulled into a false sense of security just because you know someone; 8 out of 10 rape victims know their assailant.\\nHave a healthy amount of skepticism: just because someone tells you something doesn't mean they couldn't be lying, particularly if it sounds too good to be true.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Google them.\", \"描述\": \"What a person tells you they're like and what they may actually be like can be two different things. A Google search of their name may bring back results on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media websites that may give you a better feel for what your potential date is like when they're not trying to present their best side to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell someone.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a reliable friend, roommate, or family member and tell them that you're going on a date. Tell them where you're going, what time the date is supposed to start, and when it is expected to end. Tell them your date's full name, and if you have it their telephone number, give them that as well. Make sure they also have your telephone number.\\nIf you have a picture of the person you're going on a date with, give that to your friend, as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask a friend to check in on you.\", \"描述\": \"After you've given them your cell phone number for your date, ask them to please check in on you once or twice during the date with a phone call or text. Tell them that if you do not respond within two hours of a text or phone call that they should call the police.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meet in a public place.\", \"描述\": \"Never invite a stranger to your home, agree to meet them at theirs, or agree to meet at any other private place for a first meeting. The ideal first-date location should be a place that is public and where there will be many people, like a restaurant, movie theater, or a club. It is important that you not go somewhere with someone you do not know well where you could be easily isolated.\\nIf you have another friend who is also dating who would be willing, you could try making it a double-date so that you're sure to not be alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be responsible for your own transportation.\", \"描述\": \"Police recommend that you never tell a date where you live early on in the dating stages. You do not want an unsuccessful date to turn into a stalking situation. By driving yourself or getting a ride, you won't be dependent on them if things go south.\\nIf you take a bus or have someone coming to pick you up from your date, that gives you an extra excuse to leave if you need it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Do not feel inclined to dress conservatively.\", \"描述\": \"Dressing conservatively does not guarantee your safety. Women get mistreated wearing sweatshirts as well as cocktail dresses, and it is not OK either way. Do not think that dressing a certain way will either protect you, or encourage untoward behavior.\\nPeople have traditionally blamed women for \\\"asking for it\\\", when sexually assaulted when wearing sexy clothing, but this is no excuse or reason.\\nDress for mobility. If you have to leave a situation, or walk a block to get to the bus stop, be sure you can do so without getting blisters, tottering on too-high heels, getting frostbite, or otherwise unable to simply go if you need to.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Pack the appropriate items.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you never leave for a first date without your cell phone and a wallet with cash. If you end up splitting the bill for dinner, avoiding using a credit or debit card means that you won't leave behind a paper trail that could link you to your workplace or home address. You will need your cell phone to send and receive texts and phone calls, and it may be handy in case of an emergency.\\nAlthough some people may feel they are unnecessary, bringing mace and/or a rape whistle on the off chance your date turns violent could prevent you from becoming a victim, and should be very seriously considered.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Operating While on the Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Courtesy-text your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you respond to your friend that you asked to make sure you're okay. You don't want them to become falsely alarmed! Additionally, you can text them when you're arriving to the location, when you're leaving, and when you make it safely back home. It would also be polite to let them know if your date is going long.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask good questions.\", \"描述\": \"While you're on your date, of course you will have the opportunity to talk and get to know each other better. Don't waste this opportunity with small talk about the weather or your food. Use it to ask meaningful questions, like if they have any close friends, what their family was like growing up, and what their current most important goal is. Questions like these will reveal to you what kinds of values and mindset your date has, and give you greater insight as to whether this is someone you'd be interested in continuing to see.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be assertive.\", \"描述\": \"Only you can determine for yourself what you are comfortable with, whether it's if you want to move on to a more intimate setting, reveal more detailed information about yourself, or engage in sexual activities. If your date starts to pressure you for things you are not ready to do, don't feel like you have to give in to their desires. Just tell them a polite but firm no.\\nA good partner will not be impatient and will respect your boundaries and opinions.\\nSomeone who continues to pressure you after you have said 'no' is putting off a very strong red flag.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch out for disturbing behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Listen to the things that your date is saying and be on the look-out for warning signs. A date is the time for a person to be putting their best foot forward to impress you, and their behaviors will only become more relaxed with time. If they are behaving in ways that make you uncomfortable or anxious, this will probably not improve over time.\\nThey show up inappropriately angry or in a bad mood, which may or may not become directed toward you.\\nThey treat the waitstaff, employees, or strangers at any place where you meet poorly or aggressively.\\nThey refer to their exes or members of the opposite sex using derogatory language, or call them \\\"crazy.\\\"\\nThey insult you or put you down.\\nThey tell you information that directly contradicts things they've told you previously, ie: it looks like they're lying to you.\\nThey make strange comments that seem out of place, like talking about their machete collection or punching exes.\\nThey ask questions about your or offer details about their sexual or marital history that seems inappropriate for a first date.\\nThey start making explicitly sexual comments or advances, or reveal their genitalia in public places.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Trust your instincts.\", \"描述\": \"Your brain has a way of trying to communicate with you when it recognizes logically that something dangerous or unsafe is happening by manipulating how you feel; we often call these feelings \\\"gut instincts.\\\" When your brain registers that something unsafe is happening, it will create feelings of unease and tension in your stomach. Do not be afraid to listen to these feelings!\\nDo not fall into the trap of feeling like you have to explain away or excuse a date's bad or strange behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay sober.\", \"描述\": \"There's nothing wrong with going out for a drink, but it's generally inadvisable to get drunk. Drinking leads to lowered inhibitions, the reduced ability to assess risks and make good choices, impedes the ability to give consent, and makes it harder to fight back should someone try to sexually assault you. It can also lead people to being aggressors of sexual assault.\\nTry planning a date during the daytime, when you normally won't be expected to drink anyway. Also, more people are out and about during the daytime, which can give you some extra security.\\nIf you do order a drink from the bar, opt for a bottled beer, and make sure it's opened in front of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't leave your drink unattended.\", \"描述\": \"Regardless of what you are drinking, whether it's alcohol or water, do not leave your glass unattended, even to use the restroom. GHB, Ketamine, and Rohypnol are all fast-acting drugs commonly referred to as \\\"date rape drugs\\\" that can be slipped into a beverage without you ever knowing it. Only accept drinks directly from a bartender or waiter; don't even let it pass through your date's hands.\\nIf you leave for the restroom and come back and forgot to finish your drink off before-hand, ask for a new one. If your date has a problem with that, the issue is with them, not you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to split.\", \"描述\": \"Although it would be nice to be honest if you're not into a person or not feeling safe with them, it is impossible to tell how someone may react to hearing that kind of statement. Particularly if you're feeling unsafe, there may be good reason for that, and you don't want them to react violently. So have some reason prepared for just-in-case, and don't be afraid to use it!\\nIf you arrived by public transportation, you could say that you have to leave to catch the bus.\\nIf your friend drove you, say that they have to pick you up early because they had a schedule conflict on their end.\\nGet your friend to text you about a sick pet or a breakup and say that you're needed elsewhere.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acting in an Emergency\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Leave.\", \"描述\": \"If your date appears to violent, emotionally unstable, or makes you uncomfortable for any reason, it is okay to leave. Use any of the excuses that you have prepared and get out of there.\\nIf you are truly desperate and don't want them to know you're leaving, tell them you're going to the bathroom and take any personal items with you, then sneak out another way.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get assistance.\", \"描述\": \"If your date tries to prevent you from leaving, physically or through verbal coercion, get someone nearby to help you, like a waiter or another couple. This could be as simple as asking them to get the manager or call the police, but the point is that by drawing other people into the situation, an aggressive person is more likely to back off out of a desire to not get into trouble. \\nGet loud. Although embarrassment might make you want to keep quiet and not make a spectacle, it is to your advantage to be loud and make sure other people can hear that you are not interested in this person's advances or company. This may convince people, without your solicitation, to come help you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fight back.\", \"描述\": \"If for some reason you should be cornered and there is no way to avoid violence, use proper self defense techniques to make your assailant back off. If you have it with you, using mace is perhaps the easiest method. When attacking, aim for the areas of the body where you can do the most damage in the least amount of time; these include the eyes, nose, ears, neck, knees, and groin.\\nKick the side of the knee to injure or even incapacitate an attacker.\\nGouge, poke, or scratch an attacker's eyes with your fingers or knuckles.\\nIf your attacker is very close to you, user the heel of your palm to strike the under portion of their nose, throwing the whole weight of your body into the motion.\\nThe goal of attacking your attacker is not to beat them up but to prevent them from following you and, in the case that they are holding you, make them let go.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get somewhere safe.\", \"描述\": \"Once your attacker lets go, run away, preferably in the opposite direction. If your attacker recovers and gets a hold of you after being hurt, they will likely be very angry, so the situation will be even more dangerous for you. Go somewhere where there are a lot of people, or get into your car to drive away. \\nDo not immediately go back home. Should this person be capable of following you, you do not want to accidentally show them where you live.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Call 9-1-1.\", \"描述\": \"If you have been attacked, this is considered an emergency situation. You will want to call 9-1-1 so that police can be dispatched to help you and, if necessary, make an arrest. Be prepared that when you contact the emergency operator you will need to try to tell them exactly what happened, where it happened, and where you are now.\\nStay on the line. A sudden disconnect could mean that something has gone very wrong for you, and the operator will try to call you back. This could delay emergency response time and tie up the lines, so be sure to stay on the line until you are told you can hang up.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,125 | How to Be Safe on the Internet | 1. Protecting Your Passwords
1-1. Use strong, unique passwords.
When you’re creating a password for your account, make sure to include a mix of numbers, symbols, and letters, both uppercase and lowercase. Avoid using the same passwords for multiple accounts. It’s harder to remember, but it will keep your information much safer.
Try abbreviating a phrase. For example, “Soda at dinner keeps you up at night” could become “S@dKuU@n!”
Longer passwords are always stronger, so try using a favorite quote, or a line from a song, book, or movie. Remember that some websites have password length restrictions, so make sure to follow those as well.
Avoid using common passwords like “123456” or “password,” or information about you that others might easily be able to find out, like a nickname, your favorite sport, or your pet's name. Also, don’t use the same password on multiple sites as this can increase the likelihood of being hacked.
1-2. Use a password manager to keep passwords safe and organized.
Password managers automatically generate and store strong, unique passwords for each of your accounts. You’ll simply create one master password for the manager and let it keep all the others safe.
You can use some password managers for free, while more premium options are available for a fee.
Popular, trustworthy password managers include 1Password and LastPass. You can find others by searching for them online.
You can also use your browser’s built-in password syncing service, although it’s considered less safe and more vulnerable to hacking, so use with caution.
1-3. Enable multi-factor authentication on your accounts.
Multi-factor authentication makes an account even more secure by requiring extra information to let you log in, such as a code sent to your phone. Many large email providers and social media accounts offer this service.
To check whether an account has multi-factor authentication, check the site’s Settings page.
This extra step might seem annoying, but it will keep your information safer than just a password alone.
1-4. Sign up for accounts on legitimate sites only.
Consider very carefully before you make an account on a website, even if it just requires giving your email address. No matter how secure your passwords are, using them on unsafe sites will put your information in danger.
Avoid sites with misspellings or bad grammar in their addresses, which could be dangerous copycats of legitimate websites.
Also look out for sites that have lots of pop-ups, or numbers or gibberish in their addresses.
1-5. Log out of sites when you’re done using them.
Logging into a site creates a cookie in your browser, which identifies you and, if stolen, can compromise your account. This is especially an issue on sites that hold sensitive information, like your bank account or credit card number, so it’s always best to log out once you’re finished.
Log out of any site you use on a public computer or network.
Log out of any online banking or shopping site you use, even on your home computer and network.
It’s typically OK to keep your home computer logged on to accounts like your email or social media, as long as you make sure to lock your computer if you ever step away from it.
2. Using Social Media and Email Safely
2-1. Make your profiles private.
Keeping your social media profiles private can make it harder for strangers to contact you online or get ahold of your information. Choose an option that makes your profile visible to only you or your friends. And even then, do not trust privacy settings to make your account private.
Go to your account settings and your security or privacy menu to view and change your privacy level.
Even if you choose to keep your profile public, make sure that crucial information, like your address and phone number, is hidden.
2-2. Review what information is public on your social media profiles.
Important information on your account can slip through the cracks and be made public, especially if you recently made or edited your profile. Head to the Privacy section of your account to check what’s currently accessible by people who aren’t your friends.
Do this every few months or so to make sure that everything you want to be private stays that way.
2-3. Think about whether you’ll regret posting something later.
Part of being safe on the Internet is knowing what is and isn’t OK to post. It might feel fine in the moment to post something inappropriate or provocative, but remember that those posts can be screenshotted, seen, and shared by people all over the world, even if you delete them.
As a rule of thumb, ask yourself if your post is something you’d want your (grand)parents, teachers, or future employers to see. If the answer is no, don’t post. This is known as the "grandma rule".
2-4. Review posts you’re tagged in before approving them.
You can prevent something harmful or embarrassing from being linked to your account by turning on tag review. This is especially important if your friends’ accounts aren’t set to private; a post or image they tag you in could be seen by anyone.
Turn on tag review in your privacy settings.
You’ll get a notification when someone tags you in a post, then have the option to approve the tag and put the post on your own account, or to deny it.
If you’re still concerned about a photo even after removing your tag, talk to the poster about taking it down.
2-5. Never give personal information to someone you met online.
This might seem obvious, but it’s still important to remember. No matter how well you may think you know someone you met online, you can never really be sure of who they are and whether they might be dangerous.
Avoid giving out contact information like your name, address, or phone number, as well as other information that might make it easy to find you, like your school or workplace.
2-6. Use caution when meeting in-person with someone you met online.
It’s best not to meet people in-person who you’ve only talked to online, but some situations might require it—if you sold something on Craigslist, for example, or are using an online dating site. In these cases, meet in a public place and bring a friend with you.
If you can’t bring a friend, tell someone where you’ll be, who you’ll be with, and for how long.
If you’re under 18, never agree to meet someone in-person who you met online.
2-7. Use gender-neutral pseudonyms on forums.
Even private or invite-only forums can be more dangerous than traditional forms of social media, so take extra care to protect your identity. Use a gender-neutral pseudonym if you can, and avoid posting pictures of yourself or linking to your other social media.
2-8. Don’t open emails or files from people you don’t know.
Phishing scammers are people who use fake emails or messages to make you share personal information. If you see an email from an unfamiliar address, or from an address you know but with a suspicious message, move it to your spam folder.
The email could also include links that might look legitimate, but never click on them until you can verify that it’s a legitimate message.
If you know the person whose email was being used, tell them that their account has been hacked and report the phishing by filing a complaint with the FBI’s Internet Fraud Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov.
Phishing scammers are often after your bank account or Social Security number, so be extra cautious if you get an email requesting money, login credentials, or very personal information.
3. Using Safe Sites and Networks
3-1. Avoid clicking on sites that look fake or scammy.
If you’re even somewhat familiar with the Internet, chances are you can recognize bad links when you see them: bad grammar, popups, “click bait” headlines, or a false-looking web address. Avoid clicking on these sites and never download anything from them.
Spending time on these kinds of websites can give your computer a virus or make it crash.
3-2. Clear your browsing history often to maintain your privacy.
Many sites have access to your cookies, small text files that record your preferences and let sites respond to them, often to show you more relevant ads. However, cookies can also be used by hackers as a way to get your personal information.
Clear your cookies every month or so to wipe out any personal information in them.
3-3. Do online shopping on encrypted sites.
When you’re shopping online or logging into your online bank account, check the URL to make sure it starts with “https” instead of “http.” The “s” means that the website is secure and encrypts your data so it can’t be stolen.
Secure sites should also have a small lock icon in the URL field.
Although it’s convenient to save your payment information on a shopping site, always do so with caution, as this puts you at risk if the site gets hacked.
3-4. Use private WiFi networks, never public ones.
Public WiFi—like the kind you might find at restaurants, hotels, or airports—is often unsecured, making it easier for someone to hack into your computer. Only connect to an unsecured network if you absolutely have to, and be aware of the risks it could come with.
If you often need WiFi on the go, try buying a virtual private network (VPN), a piece of hardware that can create a secure, private connection from anywhere.
Connect with care on your smartphone, too. If you can, confirm the name and login requirements of the WiFi with appropriate staff before connecting.
3-5. Use an antivirus extension on your browser.
For extra safety on the Internet, you can download an antivirus extension to check the security of a site or block pop-up ads with viruses or malicious content. Remember to download only from a legitimate source, like the Chrome webstore, to ensure that the extension is safe.
3-6. Install a firewall to protect your home network.
A firewall is an electronic barrier that prevents unauthorized devices from getting access to your computer or phone. Many computers come pre-loaded with a firewall; go to your computer’s security section to check if yours has one.
For a fee, you can also download firewall software from authorized sellers like Norton, McAfee, or Microsoft.
3-7. Keep your computer’s software up to date.
Most software updates come with security upgrades, so it’s important that you have the latest version at all times. To easily download updates as soon as they come out, turn on automatic updates in your computer’s Settings.
4. Staying Safe on Your Smartphone
4-1. Enable encryption software on your phone.
Many smartphones come encrypted, meaning that their software scrambles your information so it can’t be accessed by unauthorized users. To check if your phone is encrypted, go to its settings and click on the security tab.
Automatically encrypted phones include iPhones, newer Androids, and Google’s Pixel phones.
You can enable encryption software on your Android in its security menu.
For extra protection, you can download encryption applications from the app store.
4-2. Set your Bluetooth to “non-discoverable.”
Although your phone’s Bluetooth isn’t as easy to hack into as a wireless network, hackers can still use it to access your phone remotely when they’re in range. To prevent this, set your Bluetooth’s default to “non-discoverable” so you don’t pop up on hackers’ radar.
If you see an unknown Bluetooth request to pair with your device, ignore or deny it right away.
Take extra care in crowded areas where potential hackers are within range of your Bluetooth, such as restaurants and public transportation.
4-3. Download apps from verified stores only.
The easiest way for viruses to get into your phone is through downloads like apps. “Official” stores like the Apple app store or the Google Play store can typically be considered safe places to buy apps, but you should never download one from any other site.
Remember to read over the requirements, terms, and conditions an app has before you install it. This will be long and probably boring, but it’s important that you know exactly what is being installed onto your device.
4-4. Download security software for extra protection.
For the most reliable smartphone protection, you can buy a mobile security package. These tools typically come with a firewall and spam protection, as well as GPS tracking to help you find a lost or stolen device.
Some security packages also come with remote locking capabilities to prevent a stolen phone from being used.
Tips
To add an extra layer of security to your phone, create a PIN or use its fingerprint or face ID options. This will make it harder to access your information if your phone gets lost or stolen.[23]
X
Research source
Install antivirus and malware protection if at all possible, as it’s one of the most reliable ways to keep your hard drive safe.
Get identity theft protection through your credit card company or a separate service. This can help catch some identity theft attempts by notifying you of leaked information or suspicious purchases.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Protecting Your Passwords\\n1-1. Use strong, unique passwords.\\nWhen you’re creating a password for your account, make sure to include a mix of numbers, symbols, and letters, both uppercase and lowercase. Avoid using the same passwords for multiple accounts. It’s harder to remember, but it will keep your information much safer.\\nTry abbreviating a phrase. For example, “Soda at dinner keeps you up at night” could become “S@dKuU@n!”\\nLonger passwords are always stronger, so try using a favorite quote, or a line from a song, book, or movie. Remember that some websites have password length restrictions, so make sure to follow those as well.\\nAvoid using common passwords like “123456” or “password,” or information about you that others might easily be able to find out, like a nickname, your favorite sport, or your pet's name. Also, don’t use the same password on multiple sites as this can increase the likelihood of being hacked.\\n1-2. Use a password manager to keep passwords safe and organized.\\nPassword managers automatically generate and store strong, unique passwords for each of your accounts. You’ll simply create one master password for the manager and let it keep all the others safe. \\nYou can use some password managers for free, while more premium options are available for a fee.\\nPopular, trustworthy password managers include 1Password and LastPass. You can find others by searching for them online.\\nYou can also use your browser’s built-in password syncing service, although it’s considered less safe and more vulnerable to hacking, so use with caution.\\n1-3. Enable multi-factor authentication on your accounts.\\nMulti-factor authentication makes an account even more secure by requiring extra information to let you log in, such as a code sent to your phone. Many large email providers and social media accounts offer this service.\\nTo check whether an account has multi-factor authentication, check the site’s Settings page.\\nThis extra step might seem annoying, but it will keep your information safer than just a password alone.\\n1-4. Sign up for accounts on legitimate sites only.\\nConsider very carefully before you make an account on a website, even if it just requires giving your email address. No matter how secure your passwords are, using them on unsafe sites will put your information in danger.\\nAvoid sites with misspellings or bad grammar in their addresses, which could be dangerous copycats of legitimate websites.\\nAlso look out for sites that have lots of pop-ups, or numbers or gibberish in their addresses.\\n1-5. Log out of sites when you’re done using them.\\nLogging into a site creates a cookie in your browser, which identifies you and, if stolen, can compromise your account. This is especially an issue on sites that hold sensitive information, like your bank account or credit card number, so it’s always best to log out once you’re finished.\\nLog out of any site you use on a public computer or network.\\nLog out of any online banking or shopping site you use, even on your home computer and network.\\nIt’s typically OK to keep your home computer logged on to accounts like your email or social media, as long as you make sure to lock your computer if you ever step away from it.\\n2. Using Social Media and Email Safely\\n2-1. Make your profiles private.\\nKeeping your social media profiles private can make it harder for strangers to contact you online or get ahold of your information. Choose an option that makes your profile visible to only you or your friends. And even then, do not trust privacy settings to make your account private.\\nGo to your account settings and your security or privacy menu to view and change your privacy level.\\nEven if you choose to keep your profile public, make sure that crucial information, like your address and phone number, is hidden.\\n2-2. Review what information is public on your social media profiles.\\nImportant information on your account can slip through the cracks and be made public, especially if you recently made or edited your profile. Head to the Privacy section of your account to check what’s currently accessible by people who aren’t your friends.\\nDo this every few months or so to make sure that everything you want to be private stays that way.\\n2-3. Think about whether you’ll regret posting something later.\\nPart of being safe on the Internet is knowing what is and isn’t OK to post. It might feel fine in the moment to post something inappropriate or provocative, but remember that those posts can be screenshotted, seen, and shared by people all over the world, even if you delete them.\\nAs a rule of thumb, ask yourself if your post is something you’d want your (grand)parents, teachers, or future employers to see. If the answer is no, don’t post. This is known as the \\\"grandma rule\\\".\\n2-4. Review posts you’re tagged in before approving them.\\nYou can prevent something harmful or embarrassing from being linked to your account by turning on tag review. This is especially important if your friends’ accounts aren’t set to private; a post or image they tag you in could be seen by anyone.\\nTurn on tag review in your privacy settings.\\nYou’ll get a notification when someone tags you in a post, then have the option to approve the tag and put the post on your own account, or to deny it.\\nIf you’re still concerned about a photo even after removing your tag, talk to the poster about taking it down.\\n2-5. Never give personal information to someone you met online.\\nThis might seem obvious, but it’s still important to remember. No matter how well you may think you know someone you met online, you can never really be sure of who they are and whether they might be dangerous.\\nAvoid giving out contact information like your name, address, or phone number, as well as other information that might make it easy to find you, like your school or workplace.\\n2-6. Use caution when meeting in-person with someone you met online.\\nIt’s best not to meet people in-person who you’ve only talked to online, but some situations might require it—if you sold something on Craigslist, for example, or are using an online dating site. In these cases, meet in a public place and bring a friend with you.\\nIf you can’t bring a friend, tell someone where you’ll be, who you’ll be with, and for how long.\\nIf you’re under 18, never agree to meet someone in-person who you met online.\\n2-7. Use gender-neutral pseudonyms on forums.\\nEven private or invite-only forums can be more dangerous than traditional forms of social media, so take extra care to protect your identity. Use a gender-neutral pseudonym if you can, and avoid posting pictures of yourself or linking to your other social media.\\n2-8. Don’t open emails or files from people you don’t know.\\nPhishing scammers are people who use fake emails or messages to make you share personal information. If you see an email from an unfamiliar address, or from an address you know but with a suspicious message, move it to your spam folder.\\nThe email could also include links that might look legitimate, but never click on them until you can verify that it’s a legitimate message.\\nIf you know the person whose email was being used, tell them that their account has been hacked and report the phishing by filing a complaint with the FBI’s Internet Fraud Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov.\\nPhishing scammers are often after your bank account or Social Security number, so be extra cautious if you get an email requesting money, login credentials, or very personal information.\\n3. Using Safe Sites and Networks\\n3-1. Avoid clicking on sites that look fake or scammy.\\nIf you’re even somewhat familiar with the Internet, chances are you can recognize bad links when you see them: bad grammar, popups, “click bait” headlines, or a false-looking web address. Avoid clicking on these sites and never download anything from them.\\nSpending time on these kinds of websites can give your computer a virus or make it crash.\\n3-2. Clear your browsing history often to maintain your privacy.\\nMany sites have access to your cookies, small text files that record your preferences and let sites respond to them, often to show you more relevant ads. However, cookies can also be used by hackers as a way to get your personal information.\\nClear your cookies every month or so to wipe out any personal information in them.\\n3-3. Do online shopping on encrypted sites.\\nWhen you’re shopping online or logging into your online bank account, check the URL to make sure it starts with “https” instead of “http.” The “s” means that the website is secure and encrypts your data so it can’t be stolen.\\nSecure sites should also have a small lock icon in the URL field.\\nAlthough it’s convenient to save your payment information on a shopping site, always do so with caution, as this puts you at risk if the site gets hacked.\\n3-4. Use private WiFi networks, never public ones.\\nPublic WiFi—like the kind you might find at restaurants, hotels, or airports—is often unsecured, making it easier for someone to hack into your computer. Only connect to an unsecured network if you absolutely have to, and be aware of the risks it could come with.\\nIf you often need WiFi on the go, try buying a virtual private network (VPN), a piece of hardware that can create a secure, private connection from anywhere.\\nConnect with care on your smartphone, too. If you can, confirm the name and login requirements of the WiFi with appropriate staff before connecting.\\n3-5. Use an antivirus extension on your browser.\\nFor extra safety on the Internet, you can download an antivirus extension to check the security of a site or block pop-up ads with viruses or malicious content. Remember to download only from a legitimate source, like the Chrome webstore, to ensure that the extension is safe.\\n3-6. Install a firewall to protect your home network.\\nA firewall is an electronic barrier that prevents unauthorized devices from getting access to your computer or phone. Many computers come pre-loaded with a firewall; go to your computer’s security section to check if yours has one.\\nFor a fee, you can also download firewall software from authorized sellers like Norton, McAfee, or Microsoft.\\n3-7. Keep your computer’s software up to date.\\nMost software updates come with security upgrades, so it’s important that you have the latest version at all times. To easily download updates as soon as they come out, turn on automatic updates in your computer’s Settings.\\n4. Staying Safe on Your Smartphone\\n4-1. Enable encryption software on your phone.\\nMany smartphones come encrypted, meaning that their software scrambles your information so it can’t be accessed by unauthorized users. To check if your phone is encrypted, go to its settings and click on the security tab.\\nAutomatically encrypted phones include iPhones, newer Androids, and Google’s Pixel phones.\\nYou can enable encryption software on your Android in its security menu.\\nFor extra protection, you can download encryption applications from the app store.\\n4-2. Set your Bluetooth to “non-discoverable.”\\nAlthough your phone’s Bluetooth isn’t as easy to hack into as a wireless network, hackers can still use it to access your phone remotely when they’re in range. To prevent this, set your Bluetooth’s default to “non-discoverable” so you don’t pop up on hackers’ radar.\\nIf you see an unknown Bluetooth request to pair with your device, ignore or deny it right away.\\nTake extra care in crowded areas where potential hackers are within range of your Bluetooth, such as restaurants and public transportation.\\n4-3. Download apps from verified stores only.\\nThe easiest way for viruses to get into your phone is through downloads like apps. “Official” stores like the Apple app store or the Google Play store can typically be considered safe places to buy apps, but you should never download one from any other site.\\nRemember to read over the requirements, terms, and conditions an app has before you install it. This will be long and probably boring, but it’s important that you know exactly what is being installed onto your device.\\n4-4. Download security software for extra protection.\\nFor the most reliable smartphone protection, you can buy a mobile security package. These tools typically come with a firewall and spam protection, as well as GPS tracking to help you find a lost or stolen device.\\nSome security packages also come with remote locking capabilities to prevent a stolen phone from being used.\\nTips\\nTo add an extra layer of security to your phone, create a PIN or use its fingerprint or face ID options. This will make it harder to access your information if your phone gets lost or stolen.[23]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nInstall antivirus and malware protection if at all possible, as it’s one of the most reliable ways to keep your hard drive safe.\\nGet identity theft protection through your credit card company or a separate service. This can help catch some identity theft attempts by notifying you of leaked information or suspicious purchases.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The Internet is a huge part of many people’s everyday lives. It’s fun, useful, and informative, but can also be dangerous, no matter how safe you feel while browsing. By getting into the habit of using good Internet safety practices, you can protect your information and your identity for years to come.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Protecting Your Passwords\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use strong, unique passwords.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re creating a password for your account, make sure to include a mix of numbers, symbols, and letters, both uppercase and lowercase. Avoid using the same passwords for multiple accounts. It’s harder to remember, but it will keep your information much safer.\\nTry abbreviating a phrase. For example, “Soda at dinner keeps you up at night” could become “S@dKuU@n!”\\nLonger passwords are always stronger, so try using a favorite quote, or a line from a song, book, or movie. Remember that some websites have password length restrictions, so make sure to follow those as well.\\nAvoid using common passwords like “123456” or “password,” or information about you that others might easily be able to find out, like a nickname, your favorite sport, or your pet's name. Also, don’t use the same password on multiple sites as this can increase the likelihood of being hacked.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a password manager to keep passwords safe and organized.\", \"描述\": \"Password managers automatically generate and store strong, unique passwords for each of your accounts. You’ll simply create one master password for the manager and let it keep all the others safe. \\nYou can use some password managers for free, while more premium options are available for a fee.\\nPopular, trustworthy password managers include 1Password and LastPass. You can find others by searching for them online.\\nYou can also use your browser’s built-in password syncing service, although it’s considered less safe and more vulnerable to hacking, so use with caution.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enable multi-factor authentication on your accounts.\", \"描述\": \"Multi-factor authentication makes an account even more secure by requiring extra information to let you log in, such as a code sent to your phone. Many large email providers and social media accounts offer this service.\\nTo check whether an account has multi-factor authentication, check the site’s Settings page.\\nThis extra step might seem annoying, but it will keep your information safer than just a password alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sign up for accounts on legitimate sites only.\", \"描述\": \"Consider very carefully before you make an account on a website, even if it just requires giving your email address. No matter how secure your passwords are, using them on unsafe sites will put your information in danger.\\nAvoid sites with misspellings or bad grammar in their addresses, which could be dangerous copycats of legitimate websites.\\nAlso look out for sites that have lots of pop-ups, or numbers or gibberish in their addresses.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Log out of sites when you’re done using them.\", \"描述\": \"Logging into a site creates a cookie in your browser, which identifies you and, if stolen, can compromise your account. This is especially an issue on sites that hold sensitive information, like your bank account or credit card number, so it’s always best to log out once you’re finished.\\nLog out of any site you use on a public computer or network.\\nLog out of any online banking or shopping site you use, even on your home computer and network.\\nIt’s typically OK to keep your home computer logged on to accounts like your email or social media, as long as you make sure to lock your computer if you ever step away from it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Social Media and Email Safely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your profiles private.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping your social media profiles private can make it harder for strangers to contact you online or get ahold of your information. Choose an option that makes your profile visible to only you or your friends. And even then, do not trust privacy settings to make your account private.\\nGo to your account settings and your security or privacy menu to view and change your privacy level.\\nEven if you choose to keep your profile public, make sure that crucial information, like your address and phone number, is hidden.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Review what information is public on your social media profiles.\", \"描述\": \"Important information on your account can slip through the cracks and be made public, especially if you recently made or edited your profile. Head to the Privacy section of your account to check what’s currently accessible by people who aren’t your friends.\\nDo this every few months or so to make sure that everything you want to be private stays that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think about whether you’ll regret posting something later.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being safe on the Internet is knowing what is and isn’t OK to post. It might feel fine in the moment to post something inappropriate or provocative, but remember that those posts can be screenshotted, seen, and shared by people all over the world, even if you delete them.\\nAs a rule of thumb, ask yourself if your post is something you’d want your (grand)parents, teachers, or future employers to see. If the answer is no, don’t post. This is known as the \\\"grandma rule\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Review posts you’re tagged in before approving them.\", \"描述\": \"You can prevent something harmful or embarrassing from being linked to your account by turning on tag review. This is especially important if your friends’ accounts aren’t set to private; a post or image they tag you in could be seen by anyone.\\nTurn on tag review in your privacy settings.\\nYou’ll get a notification when someone tags you in a post, then have the option to approve the tag and put the post on your own account, or to deny it.\\nIf you’re still concerned about a photo even after removing your tag, talk to the poster about taking it down.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Never give personal information to someone you met online.\", \"描述\": \"This might seem obvious, but it’s still important to remember. No matter how well you may think you know someone you met online, you can never really be sure of who they are and whether they might be dangerous.\\nAvoid giving out contact information like your name, address, or phone number, as well as other information that might make it easy to find you, like your school or workplace.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use caution when meeting in-person with someone you met online.\", \"描述\": \"It’s best not to meet people in-person who you’ve only talked to online, but some situations might require it—if you sold something on Craigslist, for example, or are using an online dating site. In these cases, meet in a public place and bring a friend with you.\\nIf you can’t bring a friend, tell someone where you’ll be, who you’ll be with, and for how long.\\nIf you’re under 18, never agree to meet someone in-person who you met online.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use gender-neutral pseudonyms on forums.\", \"描述\": \"Even private or invite-only forums can be more dangerous than traditional forms of social media, so take extra care to protect your identity. Use a gender-neutral pseudonym if you can, and avoid posting pictures of yourself or linking to your other social media.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don’t open emails or files from people you don’t know.\", \"描述\": \"Phishing scammers are people who use fake emails or messages to make you share personal information. If you see an email from an unfamiliar address, or from an address you know but with a suspicious message, move it to your spam folder.\\nThe email could also include links that might look legitimate, but never click on them until you can verify that it’s a legitimate message.\\nIf you know the person whose email was being used, tell them that their account has been hacked and report the phishing by filing a complaint with the FBI’s Internet Fraud Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov.\\nPhishing scammers are often after your bank account or Social Security number, so be extra cautious if you get an email requesting money, login credentials, or very personal information.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Safe Sites and Networks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid clicking on sites that look fake or scammy.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re even somewhat familiar with the Internet, chances are you can recognize bad links when you see them: bad grammar, popups, “click bait” headlines, or a false-looking web address. Avoid clicking on these sites and never download anything from them.\\nSpending time on these kinds of websites can give your computer a virus or make it crash.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Clear your browsing history often to maintain your privacy.\", \"描述\": \"Many sites have access to your cookies, small text files that record your preferences and let sites respond to them, often to show you more relevant ads. However, cookies can also be used by hackers as a way to get your personal information.\\nClear your cookies every month or so to wipe out any personal information in them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do online shopping on encrypted sites.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re shopping online or logging into your online bank account, check the URL to make sure it starts with “https” instead of “http.” The “s” means that the website is secure and encrypts your data so it can’t be stolen.\\nSecure sites should also have a small lock icon in the URL field.\\nAlthough it’s convenient to save your payment information on a shopping site, always do so with caution, as this puts you at risk if the site gets hacked.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use private WiFi networks, never public ones.\", \"描述\": \"Public WiFi—like the kind you might find at restaurants, hotels, or airports—is often unsecured, making it easier for someone to hack into your computer. Only connect to an unsecured network if you absolutely have to, and be aware of the risks it could come with.\\nIf you often need WiFi on the go, try buying a virtual private network (VPN), a piece of hardware that can create a secure, private connection from anywhere.\\nConnect with care on your smartphone, too. If you can, confirm the name and login requirements of the WiFi with appropriate staff before connecting.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use an antivirus extension on your browser.\", \"描述\": \"For extra safety on the Internet, you can download an antivirus extension to check the security of a site or block pop-up ads with viruses or malicious content. Remember to download only from a legitimate source, like the Chrome webstore, to ensure that the extension is safe.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Install a firewall to protect your home network.\", \"描述\": \"A firewall is an electronic barrier that prevents unauthorized devices from getting access to your computer or phone. Many computers come pre-loaded with a firewall; go to your computer’s security section to check if yours has one.\\nFor a fee, you can also download firewall software from authorized sellers like Norton, McAfee, or Microsoft.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep your computer’s software up to date.\", \"描述\": \"Most software updates come with security upgrades, so it’s important that you have the latest version at all times. To easily download updates as soon as they come out, turn on automatic updates in your computer’s Settings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Staying Safe on Your Smartphone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enable encryption software on your phone.\", \"描述\": \"Many smartphones come encrypted, meaning that their software scrambles your information so it can’t be accessed by unauthorized users. To check if your phone is encrypted, go to its settings and click on the security tab.\\nAutomatically encrypted phones include iPhones, newer Androids, and Google’s Pixel phones.\\nYou can enable encryption software on your Android in its security menu.\\nFor extra protection, you can download encryption applications from the app store.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set your Bluetooth to “non-discoverable.”\", \"描述\": \"Although your phone’s Bluetooth isn’t as easy to hack into as a wireless network, hackers can still use it to access your phone remotely when they’re in range. To prevent this, set your Bluetooth’s default to “non-discoverable” so you don’t pop up on hackers’ radar.\\nIf you see an unknown Bluetooth request to pair with your device, ignore or deny it right away.\\nTake extra care in crowded areas where potential hackers are within range of your Bluetooth, such as restaurants and public transportation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Download apps from verified stores only.\", \"描述\": \"The easiest way for viruses to get into your phone is through downloads like apps. “Official” stores like the Apple app store or the Google Play store can typically be considered safe places to buy apps, but you should never download one from any other site.\\nRemember to read over the requirements, terms, and conditions an app has before you install it. This will be long and probably boring, but it’s important that you know exactly what is being installed onto your device.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Download security software for extra protection.\", \"描述\": \"For the most reliable smartphone protection, you can buy a mobile security package. These tools typically come with a firewall and spam protection, as well as GPS tracking to help you find a lost or stolen device.\\nSome security packages also come with remote locking capabilities to prevent a stolen phone from being used.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"To add an extra layer of security to your phone, create a PIN or use its fingerprint or face ID options. This will make it harder to access your information if your phone gets lost or stolen.[23]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Install antivirus and malware protection if at all possible, as it’s one of the most reliable ways to keep your hard drive safe.\\n\", \"Get identity theft protection through your credit card company or a separate service. This can help catch some identity theft attempts by notifying you of leaked information or suspicious purchases.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,126 | How to Be Safe when Staying Home Alone (Girls) | 1. Being Prepared
1-1. Keep a key on you at all times.
Whether you're home alone frequently or rarely, make sure you have a house key on you at all times. Keep it in a safe place, such as your wallet or an inner pocket in your backpack, and make sure you don't lose it. You don't want to get locked out of the house on a day when your parents won't be back until late.
Keep the key with you. Don't leave it outside your house (e.g. under the doormat) - someone could find it and break into the house.
Avoid clipping the key to a keychain outside your backpack or on a piece of jewelry - this makes it easy for someone to grab it, or for you to lose it.
Some houses have a security system built in, in addition to your key. Typically, these go off whenever a window or door is opened. If your house has one of these systems, make sure you know the code to disarm it.
1-2. Have a list of trusted phone numbers.
If you lose your cell phone or the battery dies, you don't want to realize you can't remember the number to call your dad at work. Put the list somewhere important, preferably where you keep your key.
As a general rule, you'll want to have the phone number of your parents (both cell and work numbers), trusted neighbors, and outside family in the area (e.g. grandparents, aunts and uncles). For the number of parents you have, you should have an extra contact - for example, if you have your mom, your dad, and your stepmom, you should have at least three other contacts that aren't those parents.
1-3. Keep emergency money with you.
Maybe you need to take public transport to get home, and you need bus funds; or maybe you took the wrong bus by accident and need a taxi to get home. Sometimes, you may even need to use a payphone. Make sure to have a good amount of money on you - the amount will probably be dependent on where you live - and make sure that if you ever use the money, you replace the amount that you used.
Keep your money in quarters. Bills may seem more convenient, but you often can't use bills for things like a payphone, and you don't want to overpay a bus fare.
Don't keep too much money on you. Twenty dollars should be fine at home, but outside of the home, you may not want to carry more than five. Ask your parents how much money you should have with you.
1-4. Make plans for meeting siblings.
If you have siblings who get out of school at the same time that you do, you'll want to establish a meeting time and place with them so that you can get together as quickly as possible and then go home. Do the same thing for any activities they participate in. Make sure your parents are aware of the meeting space, so that your siblings know they can't just run off anywhere and then say that they didn't know where they were supposed to meet you!
If a younger sibling gets out of school or an activity earlier than you do, and there isn't somewhere they can wait for you, see if you can arrange for a trusted adult to pick them up.
Sometimes, siblings may want to spend time with friends after school. Work with your siblings and parents to establish a list of friends that you and your siblings can visit, and who you can't.
1-5. Set a schedule.
A schedule can make things much easier on you and your parents - if you have everything for a typical day planned out in advance, it will make transitions from one thing to another go much more smoothly. Take into consideration any extracurriculars or outside activities you have, how much homework you get, and if you have any siblings, their activities as well. Then, create a basic schedule around these.
Set up a backup schedule if you don't feel comfortable with leaving the home. If you have any activities on your schedule that involve leaving the house, but you don't feel safe to leave for whatever reason, use the backup schedule and let a parent know. Be sure to also notify anyone else that may be involved (e.g. teachers, coaches, neighbors) so that they don't wonder where you are.
1-6. Agree on basic house rules.
Every family is different and has different priorities. When it comes to your family, you'll need to discuss this with them. What do your parents say needs to happen after you get home from school? Make sure that all basic house rules are discussed and agreed on beforehand. Here are some examples of questions to go over with your parents.
What needs to be done immediately after getting home and locking the door? For example, do you need to do certain chores?
Are you allowed to make phone calls on the landline or your cell phone? If either phone rings and you don't know the number, do you pick up?
If the doorbell rings, do you answer it to everyone, or only if it's certain people? Alternatively, do you just not answer the door at all?
Are you allowed to leave the house after arriving home? If so, what's the furthest place you're allowed to go?
What websites are you allowed to use while your parents aren't home? What websites can younger siblings use?
How much time on electronics (TV, computer, cell phone, etc.) are you and your siblings allowed to have? If you have to share electronics, what's the time limit for using it before the other sibling gets to use it?
What things in the house are off-limits? For example, your parents might be okay with you using the microwave, but not the stove.
What's the latest you should start your homework?
1-7. Map out your home.
You probably know your home very well, but it's still important to map out areas that have things you might need. Create a map of your house, place anything you may need in an agreed-upon spot that you or a sibling can reach, and keep the list pinned somewhere in case of emergencies. Make sure you know where the following things are in the house, and that they're marked on the map.
First-aid supplies
Emergency supplies - flashlight, battery-powered radio, batteries, money, and so forth
Places or things that are off-limits (e.g. garage, electrical appliances)
A route to escape the house in case of danger
Where to go in case of a natural disaster
1-8. Map out your neighborhood.
Similar to your home, it's important to map out your neighborhood, too. (If you walk home, you may want to even map out the whole route you take!) It's important to know what's a "safe zone" and what's not, especially if you're allowed to leave your house after your home, or if you have to in order to get to an activity. Make sure to map out the following places when mapping out your neighborhood:
Your home
Homes of trusted neighbors
Locations of places you may need to access (e.g. a field or park)
Safe roads (roads you can use to walk somewhere)
Unsafe roads (roads that you should never use)
Public places that are safe for you to go to
Routes taken if you need to walk a significant distance to your house
1-9. Always have a backup plan.
Unfortunately, things do go wrong sometimes, and being caught unprepared can be scary, or even dangerous. Discuss with your parents and neighbors about what you should do in emergency situations that may arise. Here are some questions that may serve as inspiration for you to go over with your parents.
Where do you go if the house is unsafe when you arrive? (For example, the house smells of gas, or the window is shattered.)
Who is the "emergency contact" for school? If there's an emergency evacuation at school, and your parents can't get off work to pick you up, make sure that there's a designated adult you know who can pick you up.
What are the procedures in case of natural disasters, such as earthquakes, tornadoes, or severe storms?
What do you do in case of minor situations that don't require leaving the home, such as a power outage?
What do you do if you or a sibling gets lost, or a sibling doesn't come home at an agreed time? (Be sure to allow time for slack - a sibling coming home five minutes late isn't a big deal unless it's dark.)
If your mom or dad is late getting home, what's the maximum longest time that can be waited before contacting you? (For example, if your dad is fifteen minutes late, does he contact you and let you know?) If you aren't contacted, who do you call?
Is there an "emergency signal" that should mean "pick up the phone"? For example, calling a parent only one time would signify that it's not an emergency, but calling twice in a row means that there's an emergency.
2. Safety Tips
2-1. Keep your cell phone on and with you at all times.
No matter where you are, you'll want to have your phone with you. (If you don't have a cell phone, ask for one - you stay home on your own, after all.) Make sure it's on - if school policy says you can't have it on during school hours, turn it on after school - and not silenced, so that you can hear calls or texts coming through. You'll want to make sure that you can reach your parents, and that they can reach you.
Keep your phone charged - if something comes up and your phone is dead, you may not be able to contact your parents or emergency services if you're alone. Consider bringing a spare phone charger to school with you, just in case.
Avoid playing with your phone or listening to music out in public. Playing on your phone or listening to music distracts you from what's going on, meaning you could step into the street by mistake or become a target for bad people who want to hurt you. And even in the best case scenario, you may just end up missing the bus because you didn't notice it was there!
2-2. Meet up with any siblings, if necessary.
If you have any siblings, meet up at an established meeting place before going home. Don't leave without younger siblings, and check with siblings that are of the same age or older before you leave without them. A sibling of a similar age to you may want to (or need to) stay at school or their activity longer. Take this into account and plan around it.
If your sibling is disabled, whether physically or developmentally, don't leave them behind, regardless of their age. Wait for them, or go home and then pick them up when they're done with their activity. Someone in a wheelchair or crutches may have trouble defending themselves or taking certain routes home, and an autistic sibling or a sibling with Down Syndrome might not understand that strangers may want to hurt them.
If you have to stay late at school - for example, you participate in a club or you have detention - make other arrangements for younger siblings, so that they're not waiting alone or going home by themselves.
2-3. Notify your parents when you arrive home.
Once you've gotten home, send your parents a text message saying that you've arrived home. Don't call them unless they've told you to call them when you arrive home; calling can be disruptive, especially if they work an extremely demanding job or are in a meeting.
Immediately after you get home, lock the door you came in through. You don't want to get so caught up in getting home that you leave the door unlocked.
2-4. Keep yourself safe once you arrive home.
Your safety is not something you want to leave to chance. Stick to the previously-discussed house rules, and if anything new comes up, ask your parents about it for the future when they get home. Taking a chance with safety by ignoring previous rules is not a good idea.
Keep all doors and windows that lead outside locked. If you want to open a window, stay in the same room as the open window, and close the window when you leave the room.
Don't leave young siblings alone in the home. If your parents said it's okay to hang out in the neighborhood with a friend, but your little sibling won't go with you, stay with your sibling. Younger children may get hurt or cause a problem out of curiosity when they don't mean to (e.g. turning on the stove, and then leaving it on).
2-5. Be responsible.
Your parents felt that you're responsible enough to stay home without an adult watching you; prove that to them, even though they're not with you! Take care of basic responsibilities at home when your parents aren't there. Going above and beyond could make your parents proud of you! Consider the following when it comes to responsibility:
Do your homework. You don't have to finish it or not need any help at all, but do what you can. Consider helping any younger siblings you may have out with their homework once you've finished, too.
Clean up after yourself. If you're playing a game, clean up the game pieces and put them back where you found them. If you eat a snack, clean up any spills you might have made, throw any garbage in the trash, and put dishes in the sink or the dishwasher. Don't leave a mess for your parents to clean up.
Do your best to keep young siblings out of trouble. While you can't (and shouldn't) helicopter over your little sibling's every move, do your best to know where they are in the house. Keep them away from household hazards, too; you don't want a younger sibling to turn the stove on, or knock down something dangerous.
2-6. Stay alert.
It's important to be able to notice if something seems wrong, especially when you're home alone. Don't be so alert that you freak out when you hear the cat jump to the floor, but don't put on your headphones and drown out the world, either. Be awake and alert enough so that you can notice anything that just doesn't seem right.
If you can't focus without music or ambient noise, play your music quietly on a speaker, rather than headphones. Make sure you can still hear easily over it, and close your door if it irritates any siblings.
2-7. Know what to do in case of injury or illness.
Accidents happen - maybe you scraped your arm when climbing a tree or accidentally cut yourself when working on your science project. Additionally, sometimes you or a sibling might get sick; fevers, colds, vomiting, the flu, and other illnesses or ailments are quite common. Be sure to know what to do in case of any of these situations, and where medical supplies are kept if you need them.
You may want to take a first-aid class or babysitting course, especially if you have younger siblings. These classes teach how to treat injuries, and sometimes CPR (for kids and babies) and the Heimlich maneuver - which can also be done on yourself in an emergency. Ask your parents if they can find one of these classes for you.
If you (or any siblings you may have) are very badly injured - for example, you have a fever higher than 104 °F (40 °C), or your sibling hit their head and can't walk - call emergency services, and then call your parents to let them know what happened. Don't text them - your parents may not notice a text, and they'll want to make sure you're okay!
2-8. Have a plan for if someone tries to hurt you.
Sadly, there are some bad people in the world who want to hurt kids, especially girls. If you should ever find yourself in a bad situation, you'll want to know what to do and how to keep yourself safe. The biggest thing to remember is that , and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to hurt you. Keep your wits about you at all times.
Make sure you know basic skills for bad situations: know how to call emergency services, how to text 911 if it's unsafe to call, how to find and use a payphone in case you can't use a cell phone, how to place a collect call if you're out of money, and how to get away from strangers.
Know what to do if someone breaks into your home, how to stop someone from taking you to somewhere you don't know, and what to do if someone you don't know follows you home. And remember:
You may want to learn self-defense techniques in case you need to fight back (but never attack someone unless they try and touch you). Consider a self-defense class such as karate or taekwondo.
If you have any siblings, make sure they know these skills, too. While they can't learn self-defense overnight, make sure to go over emergency procedures with them and that they understand to avoid strangers they don't know. If you're ever with siblings and a bad stranger tries to approach you, steer them away - you don't want your siblings ending up getting hurt, either.
Tips
Staying home alone doesn't necessarily have to be boring; feel free to play some games (whether online or in person) to keep yourself occupied! Just don't argue with your siblings because you're bored.
Talk to your parents if you don't feel ready to stay home on your own. It's okay to not feel ready. They may be able to come up with solutions for you.
If you have to escape your house quickly, go through a window if it's safe to do so (e.g. it's not a high fall, and you don't have to squeeze through).
Warnings
Never use a firearm against an intruder if you've never used one before! Using a firearm incorrectly can seriously hurt or kill someone. If you don't know how to use a firearm, don't use it - call the police instead.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Prepared\\n1-1. Keep a key on you at all times.\\nWhether you're home alone frequently or rarely, make sure you have a house key on you at all times. Keep it in a safe place, such as your wallet or an inner pocket in your backpack, and make sure you don't lose it. You don't want to get locked out of the house on a day when your parents won't be back until late.\\nKeep the key with you. Don't leave it outside your house (e.g. under the doormat) - someone could find it and break into the house.\\nAvoid clipping the key to a keychain outside your backpack or on a piece of jewelry - this makes it easy for someone to grab it, or for you to lose it.\\nSome houses have a security system built in, in addition to your key. Typically, these go off whenever a window or door is opened. If your house has one of these systems, make sure you know the code to disarm it.\\n1-2. Have a list of trusted phone numbers.\\nIf you lose your cell phone or the battery dies, you don't want to realize you can't remember the number to call your dad at work. Put the list somewhere important, preferably where you keep your key.\\nAs a general rule, you'll want to have the phone number of your parents (both cell and work numbers), trusted neighbors, and outside family in the area (e.g. grandparents, aunts and uncles). For the number of parents you have, you should have an extra contact - for example, if you have your mom, your dad, and your stepmom, you should have at least three other contacts that aren't those parents.\\n1-3. Keep emergency money with you.\\nMaybe you need to take public transport to get home, and you need bus funds; or maybe you took the wrong bus by accident and need a taxi to get home. Sometimes, you may even need to use a payphone. Make sure to have a good amount of money on you - the amount will probably be dependent on where you live - and make sure that if you ever use the money, you replace the amount that you used.\\nKeep your money in quarters. Bills may seem more convenient, but you often can't use bills for things like a payphone, and you don't want to overpay a bus fare.\\nDon't keep too much money on you. Twenty dollars should be fine at home, but outside of the home, you may not want to carry more than five. Ask your parents how much money you should have with you.\\n1-4. Make plans for meeting siblings.\\nIf you have siblings who get out of school at the same time that you do, you'll want to establish a meeting time and place with them so that you can get together as quickly as possible and then go home. Do the same thing for any activities they participate in. Make sure your parents are aware of the meeting space, so that your siblings know they can't just run off anywhere and then say that they didn't know where they were supposed to meet you! \\nIf a younger sibling gets out of school or an activity earlier than you do, and there isn't somewhere they can wait for you, see if you can arrange for a trusted adult to pick them up.\\nSometimes, siblings may want to spend time with friends after school. Work with your siblings and parents to establish a list of friends that you and your siblings can visit, and who you can't.\\n1-5. Set a schedule.\\nA schedule can make things much easier on you and your parents - if you have everything for a typical day planned out in advance, it will make transitions from one thing to another go much more smoothly. Take into consideration any extracurriculars or outside activities you have, how much homework you get, and if you have any siblings, their activities as well. Then, create a basic schedule around these.\\nSet up a backup schedule if you don't feel comfortable with leaving the home. If you have any activities on your schedule that involve leaving the house, but you don't feel safe to leave for whatever reason, use the backup schedule and let a parent know. Be sure to also notify anyone else that may be involved (e.g. teachers, coaches, neighbors) so that they don't wonder where you are.\\n1-6. Agree on basic house rules.\\nEvery family is different and has different priorities. When it comes to your family, you'll need to discuss this with them. What do your parents say needs to happen after you get home from school? Make sure that all basic house rules are discussed and agreed on beforehand. Here are some examples of questions to go over with your parents.\\nWhat needs to be done immediately after getting home and locking the door? For example, do you need to do certain chores?\\nAre you allowed to make phone calls on the landline or your cell phone? If either phone rings and you don't know the number, do you pick up?\\nIf the doorbell rings, do you answer it to everyone, or only if it's certain people? Alternatively, do you just not answer the door at all?\\nAre you allowed to leave the house after arriving home? If so, what's the furthest place you're allowed to go?\\nWhat websites are you allowed to use while your parents aren't home? What websites can younger siblings use?\\nHow much time on electronics (TV, computer, cell phone, etc.) are you and your siblings allowed to have? If you have to share electronics, what's the time limit for using it before the other sibling gets to use it?\\nWhat things in the house are off-limits? For example, your parents might be okay with you using the microwave, but not the stove.\\nWhat's the latest you should start your homework?\\n1-7. Map out your home.\\nYou probably know your home very well, but it's still important to map out areas that have things you might need. Create a map of your house, place anything you may need in an agreed-upon spot that you or a sibling can reach, and keep the list pinned somewhere in case of emergencies. Make sure you know where the following things are in the house, and that they're marked on the map.\\nFirst-aid supplies\\nEmergency supplies - flashlight, battery-powered radio, batteries, money, and so forth\\nPlaces or things that are off-limits (e.g. garage, electrical appliances)\\nA route to escape the house in case of danger\\nWhere to go in case of a natural disaster\\n1-8. Map out your neighborhood.\\nSimilar to your home, it's important to map out your neighborhood, too. (If you walk home, you may want to even map out the whole route you take!) It's important to know what's a \\\"safe zone\\\" and what's not, especially if you're allowed to leave your house after your home, or if you have to in order to get to an activity. Make sure to map out the following places when mapping out your neighborhood:\\nYour home\\nHomes of trusted neighbors\\nLocations of places you may need to access (e.g. a field or park)\\nSafe roads (roads you can use to walk somewhere)\\nUnsafe roads (roads that you should never use)\\nPublic places that are safe for you to go to\\nRoutes taken if you need to walk a significant distance to your house\\n1-9. Always have a backup plan.\\nUnfortunately, things do go wrong sometimes, and being caught unprepared can be scary, or even dangerous. Discuss with your parents and neighbors about what you should do in emergency situations that may arise. Here are some questions that may serve as inspiration for you to go over with your parents.\\nWhere do you go if the house is unsafe when you arrive? (For example, the house smells of gas, or the window is shattered.)\\nWho is the \\\"emergency contact\\\" for school? If there's an emergency evacuation at school, and your parents can't get off work to pick you up, make sure that there's a designated adult you know who can pick you up.\\nWhat are the procedures in case of natural disasters, such as earthquakes, tornadoes, or severe storms?\\nWhat do you do in case of minor situations that don't require leaving the home, such as a power outage?\\nWhat do you do if you or a sibling gets lost, or a sibling doesn't come home at an agreed time? (Be sure to allow time for slack - a sibling coming home five minutes late isn't a big deal unless it's dark.)\\nIf your mom or dad is late getting home, what's the maximum longest time that can be waited before contacting you? (For example, if your dad is fifteen minutes late, does he contact you and let you know?) If you aren't contacted, who do you call?\\nIs there an \\\"emergency signal\\\" that should mean \\\"pick up the phone\\\"? For example, calling a parent only one time would signify that it's not an emergency, but calling twice in a row means that there's an emergency.\\n2. Safety Tips\\n2-1. Keep your cell phone on and with you at all times.\\nNo matter where you are, you'll want to have your phone with you. (If you don't have a cell phone, ask for one - you stay home on your own, after all.) Make sure it's on - if school policy says you can't have it on during school hours, turn it on after school - and not silenced, so that you can hear calls or texts coming through. You'll want to make sure that you can reach your parents, and that they can reach you.\\nKeep your phone charged - if something comes up and your phone is dead, you may not be able to contact your parents or emergency services if you're alone. Consider bringing a spare phone charger to school with you, just in case.\\nAvoid playing with your phone or listening to music out in public. Playing on your phone or listening to music distracts you from what's going on, meaning you could step into the street by mistake or become a target for bad people who want to hurt you. And even in the best case scenario, you may just end up missing the bus because you didn't notice it was there!\\n2-2. Meet up with any siblings, if necessary.\\nIf you have any siblings, meet up at an established meeting place before going home. Don't leave without younger siblings, and check with siblings that are of the same age or older before you leave without them. A sibling of a similar age to you may want to (or need to) stay at school or their activity longer. Take this into account and plan around it. \\nIf your sibling is disabled, whether physically or developmentally, don't leave them behind, regardless of their age. Wait for them, or go home and then pick them up when they're done with their activity. Someone in a wheelchair or crutches may have trouble defending themselves or taking certain routes home, and an autistic sibling or a sibling with Down Syndrome might not understand that strangers may want to hurt them.\\nIf you have to stay late at school - for example, you participate in a club or you have detention - make other arrangements for younger siblings, so that they're not waiting alone or going home by themselves.\\n2-3. Notify your parents when you arrive home.\\nOnce you've gotten home, send your parents a text message saying that you've arrived home. Don't call them unless they've told you to call them when you arrive home; calling can be disruptive, especially if they work an extremely demanding job or are in a meeting.\\nImmediately after you get home, lock the door you came in through. You don't want to get so caught up in getting home that you leave the door unlocked.\\n2-4. Keep yourself safe once you arrive home.\\nYour safety is not something you want to leave to chance. Stick to the previously-discussed house rules, and if anything new comes up, ask your parents about it for the future when they get home. Taking a chance with safety by ignoring previous rules is not a good idea.\\nKeep all doors and windows that lead outside locked. If you want to open a window, stay in the same room as the open window, and close the window when you leave the room.\\nDon't leave young siblings alone in the home. If your parents said it's okay to hang out in the neighborhood with a friend, but your little sibling won't go with you, stay with your sibling. Younger children may get hurt or cause a problem out of curiosity when they don't mean to (e.g. turning on the stove, and then leaving it on).\\n2-5. Be responsible.\\nYour parents felt that you're responsible enough to stay home without an adult watching you; prove that to them, even though they're not with you! Take care of basic responsibilities at home when your parents aren't there. Going above and beyond could make your parents proud of you! Consider the following when it comes to responsibility:\\nDo your homework. You don't have to finish it or not need any help at all, but do what you can. Consider helping any younger siblings you may have out with their homework once you've finished, too.\\nClean up after yourself. If you're playing a game, clean up the game pieces and put them back where you found them. If you eat a snack, clean up any spills you might have made, throw any garbage in the trash, and put dishes in the sink or the dishwasher. Don't leave a mess for your parents to clean up.\\nDo your best to keep young siblings out of trouble. While you can't (and shouldn't) helicopter over your little sibling's every move, do your best to know where they are in the house. Keep them away from household hazards, too; you don't want a younger sibling to turn the stove on, or knock down something dangerous.\\n2-6. Stay alert.\\nIt's important to be able to notice if something seems wrong, especially when you're home alone. Don't be so alert that you freak out when you hear the cat jump to the floor, but don't put on your headphones and drown out the world, either. Be awake and alert enough so that you can notice anything that just doesn't seem right.\\nIf you can't focus without music or ambient noise, play your music quietly on a speaker, rather than headphones. Make sure you can still hear easily over it, and close your door if it irritates any siblings.\\n2-7. Know what to do in case of injury or illness.\\nAccidents happen - maybe you scraped your arm when climbing a tree or accidentally cut yourself when working on your science project. Additionally, sometimes you or a sibling might get sick; fevers, colds, vomiting, the flu, and other illnesses or ailments are quite common. Be sure to know what to do in case of any of these situations, and where medical supplies are kept if you need them.\\nYou may want to take a first-aid class or babysitting course, especially if you have younger siblings. These classes teach how to treat injuries, and sometimes CPR (for kids and babies) and the Heimlich maneuver - which can also be done on yourself in an emergency. Ask your parents if they can find one of these classes for you.\\nIf you (or any siblings you may have) are very badly injured - for example, you have a fever higher than 104 °F (40 °C), or your sibling hit their head and can't walk - call emergency services, and then call your parents to let them know what happened. Don't text them - your parents may not notice a text, and they'll want to make sure you're okay!\\n2-8. Have a plan for if someone tries to hurt you.\\nSadly, there are some bad people in the world who want to hurt kids, especially girls. If you should ever find yourself in a bad situation, you'll want to know what to do and how to keep yourself safe. The biggest thing to remember is that , and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to hurt you. Keep your wits about you at all times.\\nMake sure you know basic skills for bad situations: know how to call emergency services, how to text 911 if it's unsafe to call, how to find and use a payphone in case you can't use a cell phone, how to place a collect call if you're out of money, and how to get away from strangers.\\nKnow what to do if someone breaks into your home, how to stop someone from taking you to somewhere you don't know, and what to do if someone you don't know follows you home. And remember: \\nYou may want to learn self-defense techniques in case you need to fight back (but never attack someone unless they try and touch you). Consider a self-defense class such as karate or taekwondo.\\nIf you have any siblings, make sure they know these skills, too. While they can't learn self-defense overnight, make sure to go over emergency procedures with them and that they understand to avoid strangers they don't know. If you're ever with siblings and a bad stranger tries to approach you, steer them away - you don't want your siblings ending up getting hurt, either.\\nTips\\nStaying home alone doesn't necessarily have to be boring; feel free to play some games (whether online or in person) to keep yourself occupied! Just don't argue with your siblings because you're bored.\\nTalk to your parents if you don't feel ready to stay home on your own. It's okay to not feel ready. They may be able to come up with solutions for you.\\nIf you have to escape your house quickly, go through a window if it's safe to do so (e.g. it's not a high fall, and you don't have to squeeze through).\\nWarnings\\nNever use a firearm against an intruder if you've never used one before! Using a firearm incorrectly can seriously hurt or kill someone. If you don't know how to use a firearm, don't use it - call the police instead.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Staying home alone, especially if it's a new experience, can be scary. Maybe your parents work late a lot, or maybe you get a call from your mom on the bus ride home saying that she's going to be late back home. Whatever the reason, you'll be alone at home for a while. Don't worry; with a few steps, you'll be prepared to handle the situation by yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Prepared\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep a key on you at all times.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're home alone frequently or rarely, make sure you have a house key on you at all times. Keep it in a safe place, such as your wallet or an inner pocket in your backpack, and make sure you don't lose it. You don't want to get locked out of the house on a day when your parents won't be back until late.\\nKeep the key with you. Don't leave it outside your house (e.g. under the doormat) - someone could find it and break into the house.\\nAvoid clipping the key to a keychain outside your backpack or on a piece of jewelry - this makes it easy for someone to grab it, or for you to lose it.\\nSome houses have a security system built in, in addition to your key. Typically, these go off whenever a window or door is opened. If your house has one of these systems, make sure you know the code to disarm it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a list of trusted phone numbers.\", \"描述\": \"If you lose your cell phone or the battery dies, you don't want to realize you can't remember the number to call your dad at work. Put the list somewhere important, preferably where you keep your key.\\nAs a general rule, you'll want to have the phone number of your parents (both cell and work numbers), trusted neighbors, and outside family in the area (e.g. grandparents, aunts and uncles). For the number of parents you have, you should have an extra contact - for example, if you have your mom, your dad, and your stepmom, you should have at least three other contacts that aren't those parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep emergency money with you.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you need to take public transport to get home, and you need bus funds; or maybe you took the wrong bus by accident and need a taxi to get home. Sometimes, you may even need to use a payphone. Make sure to have a good amount of money on you - the amount will probably be dependent on where you live - and make sure that if you ever use the money, you replace the amount that you used.\\nKeep your money in quarters. Bills may seem more convenient, but you often can't use bills for things like a payphone, and you don't want to overpay a bus fare.\\nDon't keep too much money on you. Twenty dollars should be fine at home, but outside of the home, you may not want to carry more than five. Ask your parents how much money you should have with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make plans for meeting siblings.\", \"描述\": \"If you have siblings who get out of school at the same time that you do, you'll want to establish a meeting time and place with them so that you can get together as quickly as possible and then go home. Do the same thing for any activities they participate in. Make sure your parents are aware of the meeting space, so that your siblings know they can't just run off anywhere and then say that they didn't know where they were supposed to meet you! \\nIf a younger sibling gets out of school or an activity earlier than you do, and there isn't somewhere they can wait for you, see if you can arrange for a trusted adult to pick them up.\\nSometimes, siblings may want to spend time with friends after school. Work with your siblings and parents to establish a list of friends that you and your siblings can visit, and who you can't.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set a schedule.\", \"描述\": \"A schedule can make things much easier on you and your parents - if you have everything for a typical day planned out in advance, it will make transitions from one thing to another go much more smoothly. Take into consideration any extracurriculars or outside activities you have, how much homework you get, and if you have any siblings, their activities as well. Then, create a basic schedule around these.\\nSet up a backup schedule if you don't feel comfortable with leaving the home. If you have any activities on your schedule that involve leaving the house, but you don't feel safe to leave for whatever reason, use the backup schedule and let a parent know. Be sure to also notify anyone else that may be involved (e.g. teachers, coaches, neighbors) so that they don't wonder where you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Agree on basic house rules.\", \"描述\": \"Every family is different and has different priorities. When it comes to your family, you'll need to discuss this with them. What do your parents say needs to happen after you get home from school? Make sure that all basic house rules are discussed and agreed on beforehand. Here are some examples of questions to go over with your parents.\\nWhat needs to be done immediately after getting home and locking the door? For example, do you need to do certain chores?\\nAre you allowed to make phone calls on the landline or your cell phone? If either phone rings and you don't know the number, do you pick up?\\nIf the doorbell rings, do you answer it to everyone, or only if it's certain people? Alternatively, do you just not answer the door at all?\\nAre you allowed to leave the house after arriving home? If so, what's the furthest place you're allowed to go?\\nWhat websites are you allowed to use while your parents aren't home? What websites can younger siblings use?\\nHow much time on electronics (TV, computer, cell phone, etc.) are you and your siblings allowed to have? If you have to share electronics, what's the time limit for using it before the other sibling gets to use it?\\nWhat things in the house are off-limits? For example, your parents might be okay with you using the microwave, but not the stove.\\nWhat's the latest you should start your homework?\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Map out your home.\", \"描述\": \"You probably know your home very well, but it's still important to map out areas that have things you might need. Create a map of your house, place anything you may need in an agreed-upon spot that you or a sibling can reach, and keep the list pinned somewhere in case of emergencies. Make sure you know where the following things are in the house, and that they're marked on the map.\\nFirst-aid supplies\\nEmergency supplies - flashlight, battery-powered radio, batteries, money, and so forth\\nPlaces or things that are off-limits (e.g. garage, electrical appliances)\\nA route to escape the house in case of danger\\nWhere to go in case of a natural disaster\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Map out your neighborhood.\", \"描述\": \"Similar to your home, it's important to map out your neighborhood, too. (If you walk home, you may want to even map out the whole route you take!) It's important to know what's a \\\"safe zone\\\" and what's not, especially if you're allowed to leave your house after your home, or if you have to in order to get to an activity. Make sure to map out the following places when mapping out your neighborhood:\\nYour home\\nHomes of trusted neighbors\\nLocations of places you may need to access (e.g. a field or park)\\nSafe roads (roads you can use to walk somewhere)\\nUnsafe roads (roads that you should never use)\\nPublic places that are safe for you to go to\\nRoutes taken if you need to walk a significant distance to your house\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Always have a backup plan.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, things do go wrong sometimes, and being caught unprepared can be scary, or even dangerous. Discuss with your parents and neighbors about what you should do in emergency situations that may arise. Here are some questions that may serve as inspiration for you to go over with your parents.\\nWhere do you go if the house is unsafe when you arrive? (For example, the house smells of gas, or the window is shattered.)\\nWho is the \\\"emergency contact\\\" for school? If there's an emergency evacuation at school, and your parents can't get off work to pick you up, make sure that there's a designated adult you know who can pick you up.\\nWhat are the procedures in case of natural disasters, such as earthquakes, tornadoes, or severe storms?\\nWhat do you do in case of minor situations that don't require leaving the home, such as a power outage?\\nWhat do you do if you or a sibling gets lost, or a sibling doesn't come home at an agreed time? (Be sure to allow time for slack - a sibling coming home five minutes late isn't a big deal unless it's dark.)\\nIf your mom or dad is late getting home, what's the maximum longest time that can be waited before contacting you? (For example, if your dad is fifteen minutes late, does he contact you and let you know?) If you aren't contacted, who do you call?\\nIs there an \\\"emergency signal\\\" that should mean \\\"pick up the phone\\\"? For example, calling a parent only one time would signify that it's not an emergency, but calling twice in a row means that there's an emergency.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Safety Tips\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your cell phone on and with you at all times.\", \"描述\": \"No matter where you are, you'll want to have your phone with you. (If you don't have a cell phone, ask for one - you stay home on your own, after all.) Make sure it's on - if school policy says you can't have it on during school hours, turn it on after school - and not silenced, so that you can hear calls or texts coming through. You'll want to make sure that you can reach your parents, and that they can reach you.\\nKeep your phone charged - if something comes up and your phone is dead, you may not be able to contact your parents or emergency services if you're alone. Consider bringing a spare phone charger to school with you, just in case.\\nAvoid playing with your phone or listening to music out in public. Playing on your phone or listening to music distracts you from what's going on, meaning you could step into the street by mistake or become a target for bad people who want to hurt you. And even in the best case scenario, you may just end up missing the bus because you didn't notice it was there!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meet up with any siblings, if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If you have any siblings, meet up at an established meeting place before going home. Don't leave without younger siblings, and check with siblings that are of the same age or older before you leave without them. A sibling of a similar age to you may want to (or need to) stay at school or their activity longer. Take this into account and plan around it. \\nIf your sibling is disabled, whether physically or developmentally, don't leave them behind, regardless of their age. Wait for them, or go home and then pick them up when they're done with their activity. Someone in a wheelchair or crutches may have trouble defending themselves or taking certain routes home, and an autistic sibling or a sibling with Down Syndrome might not understand that strangers may want to hurt them.\\nIf you have to stay late at school - for example, you participate in a club or you have detention - make other arrangements for younger siblings, so that they're not waiting alone or going home by themselves.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Notify your parents when you arrive home.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've gotten home, send your parents a text message saying that you've arrived home. Don't call them unless they've told you to call them when you arrive home; calling can be disruptive, especially if they work an extremely demanding job or are in a meeting.\\nImmediately after you get home, lock the door you came in through. You don't want to get so caught up in getting home that you leave the door unlocked.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep yourself safe once you arrive home.\", \"描述\": \"Your safety is not something you want to leave to chance. Stick to the previously-discussed house rules, and if anything new comes up, ask your parents about it for the future when they get home. Taking a chance with safety by ignoring previous rules is not a good idea.\\nKeep all doors and windows that lead outside locked. If you want to open a window, stay in the same room as the open window, and close the window when you leave the room.\\nDon't leave young siblings alone in the home. If your parents said it's okay to hang out in the neighborhood with a friend, but your little sibling won't go with you, stay with your sibling. Younger children may get hurt or cause a problem out of curiosity when they don't mean to (e.g. turning on the stove, and then leaving it on).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be responsible.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents felt that you're responsible enough to stay home without an adult watching you; prove that to them, even though they're not with you! Take care of basic responsibilities at home when your parents aren't there. Going above and beyond could make your parents proud of you! Consider the following when it comes to responsibility:\\nDo your homework. You don't have to finish it or not need any help at all, but do what you can. Consider helping any younger siblings you may have out with their homework once you've finished, too.\\nClean up after yourself. If you're playing a game, clean up the game pieces and put them back where you found them. If you eat a snack, clean up any spills you might have made, throw any garbage in the trash, and put dishes in the sink or the dishwasher. Don't leave a mess for your parents to clean up.\\nDo your best to keep young siblings out of trouble. While you can't (and shouldn't) helicopter over your little sibling's every move, do your best to know where they are in the house. Keep them away from household hazards, too; you don't want a younger sibling to turn the stove on, or knock down something dangerous.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay alert.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to be able to notice if something seems wrong, especially when you're home alone. Don't be so alert that you freak out when you hear the cat jump to the floor, but don't put on your headphones and drown out the world, either. Be awake and alert enough so that you can notice anything that just doesn't seem right.\\nIf you can't focus without music or ambient noise, play your music quietly on a speaker, rather than headphones. Make sure you can still hear easily over it, and close your door if it irritates any siblings.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Know what to do in case of injury or illness.\", \"描述\": \"Accidents happen - maybe you scraped your arm when climbing a tree or accidentally cut yourself when working on your science project. Additionally, sometimes you or a sibling might get sick; fevers, colds, vomiting, the flu, and other illnesses or ailments are quite common. Be sure to know what to do in case of any of these situations, and where medical supplies are kept if you need them.\\nYou may want to take a first-aid class or babysitting course, especially if you have younger siblings. These classes teach how to treat injuries, and sometimes CPR (for kids and babies) and the Heimlich maneuver - which can also be done on yourself in an emergency. Ask your parents if they can find one of these classes for you.\\nIf you (or any siblings you may have) are very badly injured - for example, you have a fever higher than 104 °F (40 °C), or your sibling hit their head and can't walk - call emergency services, and then call your parents to let them know what happened. Don't text them - your parents may not notice a text, and they'll want to make sure you're okay!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Have a plan for if someone tries to hurt you.\", \"描述\": \"Sadly, there are some bad people in the world who want to hurt kids, especially girls. If you should ever find yourself in a bad situation, you'll want to know what to do and how to keep yourself safe. The biggest thing to remember is that , and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to hurt you. Keep your wits about you at all times.\\nMake sure you know basic skills for bad situations: know how to call emergency services, how to text 911 if it's unsafe to call, how to find and use a payphone in case you can't use a cell phone, how to place a collect call if you're out of money, and how to get away from strangers.\\nKnow what to do if someone breaks into your home, how to stop someone from taking you to somewhere you don't know, and what to do if someone you don't know follows you home. And remember: \\nYou may want to learn self-defense techniques in case you need to fight back (but never attack someone unless they try and touch you). Consider a self-defense class such as karate or taekwondo.\\nIf you have any siblings, make sure they know these skills, too. While they can't learn self-defense overnight, make sure to go over emergency procedures with them and that they understand to avoid strangers they don't know. If you're ever with siblings and a bad stranger tries to approach you, steer them away - you don't want your siblings ending up getting hurt, either.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Staying home alone doesn't necessarily have to be boring; feel free to play some games (whether online or in person) to keep yourself occupied! Just don't argue with your siblings because you're bored.\\n\", \"Talk to your parents if you don't feel ready to stay home on your own. It's okay to not feel ready. They may be able to come up with solutions for you.\\n\", \"If you have to escape your house quickly, go through a window if it's safe to do so (e.g. it's not a high fall, and you don't have to squeeze through).\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never use a firearm against an intruder if you've never used one before! Using a firearm incorrectly can seriously hurt or kill someone. If you don't know how to use a firearm, don't use it - call the police instead.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,127 | How to Be Safe when Using Henna | 1. Understanding the Risks
1-1. Understand that using henna on your skin or hair is not necessarily safe.
The Food and Drug Administration, or FDA, has received multiple reports from consumers who experienced long-lasting and severe side effects from the application of henna for temporary tattoos. Side effects include, but are not limited to, red lesions that are raised and weeping, loss of pigmentation of the skin, blisters, increased sunlight sensitivity, redness, and permanent scarring.
These reactions can occur immediately after getting a temporary tattoo using traditional red henna or "black henna."
Reactions from temporary henna tattoos can also occur up to two or three weeks after receiving the tattoo.
You can also experience adverse side effects from hair dye that contains “black henna.”
1-2. Read product labels carefully.
If you are purchasing henna to use at home on your skin or hair, make sure you examine each ingredient listed on the label. Avoid any color additives in henna dyes to be used on the skin. If you are getting a henna tattoo from a tattoo artist or your hair dyed by a professional, make sure you inquire about the ingredients in the dye they will use on your skin or hair.
Ask specifically about the inclusion of p-phenylenediamine, or PPD, and avoid getting a tattoo with this additive.
1-3. Avoid using henna on all children.
Children can be particularly sensitive to henna. Skin sensitivities and allergic reactions to henna can occur in children.
Children with glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase deficiency are at particular risk, as applying henna to the skin of children with this condition can cause a life-threatening condition called hemolysis.
Seek immediate medical attention if a child with glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase deficiency has been exposed to henna.
2. Using Henna Safely at Home
2-1. Avoid using “black henna” on your skin or hair.
Some manufacturers produce inks marketed as “black henna” that might be a mix of traditional henna and additional ingredients. Many, however, mix henna with coal tar hair dye that contains p-phenylenediamine, or PPD. PPD is not intended to be applied to human skin. It is not permitted to be used in cosmetics for skin in the U.S., as it can cause dangerous skin reactions.
While inks marketed as “black henna” create tattoos that are darker and last longer than those created with traditional henna, these dyes are harmful and should be avoided.
Black henna is actually banned in some countries.
2-2. Use red, or traditional, henna.
Red henna is generally safe when applied to the skin. Staining the skin reddish-brown, traditional henna can be safely used for body art. Red henna does, however, carry the risk of rare instances of reactions ranging from contact allergy to hypersensitivity.
2-3. Perform a patch test.
Before using henna to dye your hair or create body art, make sure you conduct a patch test. Apply a very small amount of the henna to a tiny patch or skin or swath or hair. Wait at least fifteen minutes before removing. If you experience any adverse side effects, such as redness or irritation, you should not use henna on your skin or hair.
2-4. Wear gloves when applying henna to your skin or hair.
When applying a traditional henna to your skin or hair, be sure to wear gloves. This will prevent the dye from making its way to unwanted places and help create a sanitary application process.
2-5. Avoid purchasing henna kits for home use.
Department and specialty stores often sell kits that contain supplies for creating henna tattoos at home. These can contain caustic chemicals that are unsafe for use on human skin, such as kerosene, metal salts, benzene, lead, and artificial dyes, and should be avoided.
2-6. Get a henna tattoo from a reputable professional.
If you do make the decision to get a henna tattoo, you should seek out a reliable professional with experience. Seek out a professional who has a good reputation in your community, has been practicing the art for an extended period of time, and who uses pure henna. Be sure to ask for a full disclosure of ingredients in the henna they will use for your tattoo.
2-7. Seek professional medical help if you experience side effects.
If you experience any side effects from a henna tattoo or hair dye, please seek medical attention immediately. While side effects from red henna are rare, they can still occur and necessitate a visit to your medical provider. Reactions to “black henna” tattoos are more common, with as many as 2.5% of people experiencing a contact allergy to p-phenylenediamine, or PPD.
2-8. Report adverse reactions to the Food and Drug Administration.
MedWatch, the Food and Drug Administration’s problem-reporting program, can be reached by calling 1-800-332-1088. Contact MedWatch if you have an adverse reaction to body art or tattoos created with traditional henna or “black henna.”
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding the Risks\\n1-1. Understand that using henna on your skin or hair is not necessarily safe.\\nThe Food and Drug Administration, or FDA, has received multiple reports from consumers who experienced long-lasting and severe side effects from the application of henna for temporary tattoos. Side effects include, but are not limited to, red lesions that are raised and weeping, loss of pigmentation of the skin, blisters, increased sunlight sensitivity, redness, and permanent scarring.\\nThese reactions can occur immediately after getting a temporary tattoo using traditional red henna or \\\"black henna.\\\"\\nReactions from temporary henna tattoos can also occur up to two or three weeks after receiving the tattoo.\\nYou can also experience adverse side effects from hair dye that contains “black henna.”\\n1-2. Read product labels carefully.\\nIf you are purchasing henna to use at home on your skin or hair, make sure you examine each ingredient listed on the label. Avoid any color additives in henna dyes to be used on the skin. If you are getting a henna tattoo from a tattoo artist or your hair dyed by a professional, make sure you inquire about the ingredients in the dye they will use on your skin or hair.\\nAsk specifically about the inclusion of p-phenylenediamine, or PPD, and avoid getting a tattoo with this additive.\\n1-3. Avoid using henna on all children.\\nChildren can be particularly sensitive to henna. Skin sensitivities and allergic reactions to henna can occur in children.\\nChildren with glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase deficiency are at particular risk, as applying henna to the skin of children with this condition can cause a life-threatening condition called hemolysis.\\nSeek immediate medical attention if a child with glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase deficiency has been exposed to henna.\\n2. Using Henna Safely at Home\\n2-1. Avoid using “black henna” on your skin or hair.\\nSome manufacturers produce inks marketed as “black henna” that might be a mix of traditional henna and additional ingredients. Many, however, mix henna with coal tar hair dye that contains p-phenylenediamine, or PPD. PPD is not intended to be applied to human skin. It is not permitted to be used in cosmetics for skin in the U.S., as it can cause dangerous skin reactions. \\nWhile inks marketed as “black henna” create tattoos that are darker and last longer than those created with traditional henna, these dyes are harmful and should be avoided.\\nBlack henna is actually banned in some countries.\\n2-2. Use red, or traditional, henna.\\nRed henna is generally safe when applied to the skin. Staining the skin reddish-brown, traditional henna can be safely used for body art. Red henna does, however, carry the risk of rare instances of reactions ranging from contact allergy to hypersensitivity.\\n2-3. Perform a patch test.\\nBefore using henna to dye your hair or create body art, make sure you conduct a patch test. Apply a very small amount of the henna to a tiny patch or skin or swath or hair. Wait at least fifteen minutes before removing. If you experience any adverse side effects, such as redness or irritation, you should not use henna on your skin or hair.\\n2-4. Wear gloves when applying henna to your skin or hair.\\nWhen applying a traditional henna to your skin or hair, be sure to wear gloves. This will prevent the dye from making its way to unwanted places and help create a sanitary application process.\\n2-5. Avoid purchasing henna kits for home use.\\nDepartment and specialty stores often sell kits that contain supplies for creating henna tattoos at home. These can contain caustic chemicals that are unsafe for use on human skin, such as kerosene, metal salts, benzene, lead, and artificial dyes, and should be avoided.\\n2-6. Get a henna tattoo from a reputable professional.\\nIf you do make the decision to get a henna tattoo, you should seek out a reliable professional with experience. Seek out a professional who has a good reputation in your community, has been practicing the art for an extended period of time, and who uses pure henna. Be sure to ask for a full disclosure of ingredients in the henna they will use for your tattoo.\\n2-7. Seek professional medical help if you experience side effects.\\nIf you experience any side effects from a henna tattoo or hair dye, please seek medical attention immediately. While side effects from red henna are rare, they can still occur and necessitate a visit to your medical provider. Reactions to “black henna” tattoos are more common, with as many as 2.5% of people experiencing a contact allergy to p-phenylenediamine, or PPD.\\n2-8. Report adverse reactions to the Food and Drug Administration.\\nMedWatch, the Food and Drug Administration’s problem-reporting program, can be reached by calling 1-800-332-1088. Contact MedWatch if you have an adverse reaction to body art or tattoos created with traditional henna or “black henna.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Henna is used for body art or hair dye. There are, however, some serious risks involved with using henna. The use of “black henna” should be avoided. You should never use henna on children, and you should report all side effects to a medical professional.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding the Risks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand that using henna on your skin or hair is not necessarily safe.\", \"描述\": \"The Food and Drug Administration, or FDA, has received multiple reports from consumers who experienced long-lasting and severe side effects from the application of henna for temporary tattoos. Side effects include, but are not limited to, red lesions that are raised and weeping, loss of pigmentation of the skin, blisters, increased sunlight sensitivity, redness, and permanent scarring.\\nThese reactions can occur immediately after getting a temporary tattoo using traditional red henna or \\\"black henna.\\\"\\nReactions from temporary henna tattoos can also occur up to two or three weeks after receiving the tattoo.\\nYou can also experience adverse side effects from hair dye that contains “black henna.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read product labels carefully.\", \"描述\": \"If you are purchasing henna to use at home on your skin or hair, make sure you examine each ingredient listed on the label. Avoid any color additives in henna dyes to be used on the skin. If you are getting a henna tattoo from a tattoo artist or your hair dyed by a professional, make sure you inquire about the ingredients in the dye they will use on your skin or hair.\\nAsk specifically about the inclusion of p-phenylenediamine, or PPD, and avoid getting a tattoo with this additive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid using henna on all children.\", \"描述\": \"Children can be particularly sensitive to henna. Skin sensitivities and allergic reactions to henna can occur in children.\\nChildren with glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase deficiency are at particular risk, as applying henna to the skin of children with this condition can cause a life-threatening condition called hemolysis.\\nSeek immediate medical attention if a child with glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase deficiency has been exposed to henna.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Henna Safely at Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid using “black henna” on your skin or hair.\", \"描述\": \"Some manufacturers produce inks marketed as “black henna” that might be a mix of traditional henna and additional ingredients. Many, however, mix henna with coal tar hair dye that contains p-phenylenediamine, or PPD. PPD is not intended to be applied to human skin. It is not permitted to be used in cosmetics for skin in the U.S., as it can cause dangerous skin reactions. \\nWhile inks marketed as “black henna” create tattoos that are darker and last longer than those created with traditional henna, these dyes are harmful and should be avoided.\\nBlack henna is actually banned in some countries.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use red, or traditional, henna.\", \"描述\": \"Red henna is generally safe when applied to the skin. Staining the skin reddish-brown, traditional henna can be safely used for body art. Red henna does, however, carry the risk of rare instances of reactions ranging from contact allergy to hypersensitivity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Perform a patch test.\", \"描述\": \"Before using henna to dye your hair or create body art, make sure you conduct a patch test. Apply a very small amount of the henna to a tiny patch or skin or swath or hair. Wait at least fifteen minutes before removing. If you experience any adverse side effects, such as redness or irritation, you should not use henna on your skin or hair.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear gloves when applying henna to your skin or hair.\", \"描述\": \"When applying a traditional henna to your skin or hair, be sure to wear gloves. This will prevent the dye from making its way to unwanted places and help create a sanitary application process.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid purchasing henna kits for home use.\", \"描述\": \"Department and specialty stores often sell kits that contain supplies for creating henna tattoos at home. These can contain caustic chemicals that are unsafe for use on human skin, such as kerosene, metal salts, benzene, lead, and artificial dyes, and should be avoided.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get a henna tattoo from a reputable professional.\", \"描述\": \"If you do make the decision to get a henna tattoo, you should seek out a reliable professional with experience. Seek out a professional who has a good reputation in your community, has been practicing the art for an extended period of time, and who uses pure henna. Be sure to ask for a full disclosure of ingredients in the henna they will use for your tattoo.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Seek professional medical help if you experience side effects.\", \"描述\": \"If you experience any side effects from a henna tattoo or hair dye, please seek medical attention immediately. While side effects from red henna are rare, they can still occur and necessitate a visit to your medical provider. Reactions to “black henna” tattoos are more common, with as many as 2.5% of people experiencing a contact allergy to p-phenylenediamine, or PPD.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Report adverse reactions to the Food and Drug Administration.\", \"描述\": \"MedWatch, the Food and Drug Administration’s problem-reporting program, can be reached by calling 1-800-332-1088. Contact MedWatch if you have an adverse reaction to body art or tattoos created with traditional henna or “black henna.”\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,128 | How to Be Sarcastic | 1. Utilizing Sarcasm
1-1. Use sarcasm in reference to ideas or events.
For instance, after seeing a dull film, you might say, “Well that was fun.” Place special emphasis on “that” to give your voice a sarcastic tone.
After watching a video of a motorcyclist launch themselves and their motorcycle through a ring of fire, you might say, “That looks safe.”
Avoid directing sarcasm toward a person unless they are a friend or not present. For instance, referring sarcastically to poor decisions by politicians, celebrities, or business leaders can get you easy laughs.
1-2. Criticize obvious comments.
When someone says something really obvious, you can draw attention to their unnecessary analysis by saying, “Really?” or “Fascinating, I had no idea!” For instance, if it’s raining heavily and someone says, “It’s raining,” you might say, “Oh, is it? Hadn’t noticed.”
If you’ve lost the note cards you wrote for your speech and your friend says, “This is bad,” you might reply sarcastically, “No, you think?”
1-3. Draw attention to predictable events.
For example, suppose your friend shares details about how an incompetent politician bungled the rollout of an important policy or program. You might reply, “Gee, what a surprise.”
Imagine your friend is telling you about an acquaintance who wrecked their car. If you know that they are a notoriously bad driver, you might respond, “He wrecked his car? What a shock.”
1-4. Use sarcasm to chide a mistake.
For example, imagine you and your friend are at the batting cage and they wind up for a big swing. When they miss the ball, you might say, “Wow, nice one!”
Similarly, if your friend is walking around looking down at their phone and bumps into a post without injuring themselves, you could make a sarcastic comment like, “Great job.”
1-5. Pretend you’re pleased or thankful.
When something unfortunate happens, you could respond sarcastically. For instance, if you get a flat tire, you might say, “Oh, terrific. I really needed this.”
If you get your test back with a bad grade, you might say, “Wonderful. I really needed this.”
If you need to get money from the bank and arrive there only to find they’ve already closed for the day, you could exclaim sarcastically, “This is just perfect.”
1-6. Use old-fashioned language.
If you’re really subtle about using sarcasm, your conversation partner might not pick up on it. You can clarify that you’re being sarcastic by using unusual words and phrases like “gosh” and “golly” before making a sarcastic comment.
For instance, if you and your friend are running behind and they say, “We’re going to be late,” you might reply sarcastically, “Gosh, you don’t say?”
2. Knowing When to Use Sarcasm
2-1. Think about who you’re talking to before using sarcasm.
Everyone reacts differently to sarcasm. Generally, you should be less sarcastic with those you work with or don’t know well, and more sarcastic with friends and family who know and trust you. Even among friends and family, though, rein your sarcasm in before it starts to grate.
Refrain from being sarcastic around those who do not like sarcasm.
Additionally, don’t use sarcasm toward teachers, police officers, or other authority figures.
Don't be sarcastic with people who can't take a joke, people with no sense of humor, or people who just aren't in the mood.
Don’t make sarcastic comments about issues that you know your conversation partner is sensitive about.
2-2. Don't overuse your talent.
A little sarcasm will make others smile. But too much sarcasm can quickly wear others out and make people dislike you. Do not use sarcasm so much that people will feel that they cannot say or do anything around you without being ridiculed. People should still feel comfortable coming to you and talking to you.
There is no way to quantify how much you should use sarcasm. Different people have different sarcasm tolerance levels.
Substitute wit for sarcasm when you (or your conversation partners) have had enough sarcasm. Wit is less hostile and more easily appreciated than sarcasm.
For instance, if you and your friend are walking together and they suddenly and inexplicably stumble, you could make a sarcastic comment like, “Real smooth.” But you could also make a witty comment like, “That ground just came out of nowhere!”
2-3. Clarify that you’re being sarcastic if necessary.
Some people are not well attuned to sarcasm. If your conversation partner takes your comments literally, you might need to inform them that you were being sarcastic. You can easily do this by simply saying, “I was just kidding,” or “I was being sarcastic.”
3. Improving Your Sarcasm
3-1. Practice your sarcastic comments.
If you have a sarcastic comment you can deploy in many different situations, practice it regularly on different people to memorize it. For instance, when someone asks a common question like, “What’s up?” you might reply with “The sky.”
The frequency with which you should practice your sarcastic comments depends on the strength of your memory. If you can memorize the sarcastic comment after practicing it two or three times daily, there’s no need to practice it more than that.
If you need to practice your sarcastic comment more often before you can memorize it, do so.
3-2. Take note of the reactions you get when practicing a particular sarcastic comment.
If your comment regularly gets eye-rolls, don’t use it anymore or use it less often. If you have a go-to sarcastic comment that seems to be a big hit, work it into regular use.
Remember, even good sarcasm can be overused.
3-3. Be creative.
The best sarcastic answers or comments will draw on your deep knowledge of your audience and their preferences, attitudes, and beliefs. Think carefully about how you can work your immediate situation and the conversation of others into a clever, sarcastic comment.
For instance, imagine you and your friend Joe are big fans of the Hulk. If Joe accidentally breaks a bunch of fragile dishes, you might say sarcastically, “You saved the day again, Hulk!”
3-4. Talk to sarcastic people.
Spending time listening to people who are well-practiced in sarcasm will help you be more sarcastic, too. Pay attention to when and how they utilize sarcasm. Listen to the inflection in their voice and the facial expressions they use when being sarcastic.
3-5. Don’t be afraid to fail.
Being sarcastic takes time, focus, and experience. As you exercise your sarcasm “muscles,” you will become better at being sarcastic. Keep trying to use sarcasm, even if you tell a few jokes that others think are not very funny.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:48",
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Hadn’t noticed.”\\nIf you’ve lost the note cards you wrote for your speech and your friend says, “This is bad,” you might reply sarcastically, “No, you think?”\\n1-3. Draw attention to predictable events.\\nFor example, suppose your friend shares details about how an incompetent politician bungled the rollout of an important policy or program. You might reply, “Gee, what a surprise.”\\nImagine your friend is telling you about an acquaintance who wrecked their car. If you know that they are a notoriously bad driver, you might respond, “He wrecked his car? What a shock.”\\n1-4. Use sarcasm to chide a mistake.\\nFor example, imagine you and your friend are at the batting cage and they wind up for a big swing. When they miss the ball, you might say, “Wow, nice one!”\\nSimilarly, if your friend is walking around looking down at their phone and bumps into a post without injuring themselves, you could make a sarcastic comment like, “Great job.”\\n1-5. Pretend you’re pleased or thankful.\\nWhen something unfortunate happens, you could respond sarcastically. For instance, if you get a flat tire, you might say, “Oh, terrific. I really needed this.”\\nIf you get your test back with a bad grade, you might say, “Wonderful. I really needed this.”\\nIf you need to get money from the bank and arrive there only to find they’ve already closed for the day, you could exclaim sarcastically, “This is just perfect.”\\n1-6. Use old-fashioned language.\\nIf you’re really subtle about using sarcasm, your conversation partner might not pick up on it. You can clarify that you’re being sarcastic by using unusual words and phrases like “gosh” and “golly” before making a sarcastic comment.\\nFor instance, if you and your friend are running behind and they say, “We’re going to be late,” you might reply sarcastically, “Gosh, you don’t say?”\\n2. Knowing When to Use Sarcasm\\n2-1. Think about who you’re talking to before using sarcasm.\\nEveryone reacts differently to sarcasm. Generally, you should be less sarcastic with those you work with or don’t know well, and more sarcastic with friends and family who know and trust you. Even among friends and family, though, rein your sarcasm in before it starts to grate. \\nRefrain from being sarcastic around those who do not like sarcasm.\\nAdditionally, don’t use sarcasm toward teachers, police officers, or other authority figures.\\nDon't be sarcastic with people who can't take a joke, people with no sense of humor, or people who just aren't in the mood.\\nDon’t make sarcastic comments about issues that you know your conversation partner is sensitive about.\\n2-2. Don't overuse your talent.\\nA little sarcasm will make others smile. But too much sarcasm can quickly wear others out and make people dislike you. Do not use sarcasm so much that people will feel that they cannot say or do anything around you without being ridiculed. People should still feel comfortable coming to you and talking to you.\\nThere is no way to quantify how much you should use sarcasm. Different people have different sarcasm tolerance levels.\\nSubstitute wit for sarcasm when you (or your conversation partners) have had enough sarcasm. Wit is less hostile and more easily appreciated than sarcasm.\\nFor instance, if you and your friend are walking together and they suddenly and inexplicably stumble, you could make a sarcastic comment like, “Real smooth.” But you could also make a witty comment like, “That ground just came out of nowhere!”\\n2-3. Clarify that you’re being sarcastic if necessary.\\nSome people are not well attuned to sarcasm. If your conversation partner takes your comments literally, you might need to inform them that you were being sarcastic. You can easily do this by simply saying, “I was just kidding,” or “I was being sarcastic.”\\n3. Improving Your Sarcasm\\n3-1. Practice your sarcastic comments.\\nIf you have a sarcastic comment you can deploy in many different situations, practice it regularly on different people to memorize it. For instance, when someone asks a common question like, “What’s up?” you might reply with “The sky.”\\nThe frequency with which you should practice your sarcastic comments depends on the strength of your memory. If you can memorize the sarcastic comment after practicing it two or three times daily, there’s no need to practice it more than that.\\nIf you need to practice your sarcastic comment more often before you can memorize it, do so.\\n3-2. Take note of the reactions you get when practicing a particular sarcastic comment.\\nIf your comment regularly gets eye-rolls, don’t use it anymore or use it less often. 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If you know that they are a notoriously bad driver, you might respond, “He wrecked his car? What a shock.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use sarcasm to chide a mistake.\", \"描述\": \"For example, imagine you and your friend are at the batting cage and they wind up for a big swing. When they miss the ball, you might say, “Wow, nice one!”\\nSimilarly, if your friend is walking around looking down at their phone and bumps into a post without injuring themselves, you could make a sarcastic comment like, “Great job.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pretend you’re pleased or thankful.\", \"描述\": \"When something unfortunate happens, you could respond sarcastically. For instance, if you get a flat tire, you might say, “Oh, terrific. I really needed this.”\\nIf you get your test back with a bad grade, you might say, “Wonderful. I really needed this.”\\nIf you need to get money from the bank and arrive there only to find they’ve already closed for the day, you could exclaim sarcastically, “This is just perfect.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use old-fashioned language.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re really subtle about using sarcasm, your conversation partner might not pick up on it. You can clarify that you’re being sarcastic by using unusual words and phrases like “gosh” and “golly” before making a sarcastic comment.\\nFor instance, if you and your friend are running behind and they say, “We’re going to be late,” you might reply sarcastically, “Gosh, you don’t say?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Knowing When to Use Sarcasm\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about who you’re talking to before using sarcasm.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone reacts differently to sarcasm. Generally, you should be less sarcastic with those you work with or don’t know well, and more sarcastic with friends and family who know and trust you. Even among friends and family, though, rein your sarcasm in before it starts to grate. \\nRefrain from being sarcastic around those who do not like sarcasm.\\nAdditionally, don’t use sarcasm toward teachers, police officers, or other authority figures.\\nDon't be sarcastic with people who can't take a joke, people with no sense of humor, or people who just aren't in the mood.\\nDon’t make sarcastic comments about issues that you know your conversation partner is sensitive about.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't overuse your talent.\", \"描述\": \"A little sarcasm will make others smile. But too much sarcasm can quickly wear others out and make people dislike you. Do not use sarcasm so much that people will feel that they cannot say or do anything around you without being ridiculed. People should still feel comfortable coming to you and talking to you.\\nThere is no way to quantify how much you should use sarcasm. 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} | wikihow |
4,129 | How to Be Sassy | 1. Channeling Your Sass
1-1. Be a bit cheeky.
This one toes the line. You want to be confident, not cocky. You want to be honest, but not hurtful. And you want to be cheeky, but not rude. Cheeky is when you say something where the words might be a little brash, but you say it with a smile on your face, and you don't actually mean anything by it. It's a spice of attitude thrown in the mix! It's a pretty common term in British English; its closest American equivalent? A sassy smart-ass.
So the next time your friend texts you, "Hey, can I come over and play with 'you're' ferret?" and you're sick and tired of your friend's typos, instead of responding with "Okay!" you opt for, "What?! I am a ferret?! RUDE."
Being cheeky.
1-2. Be quick with a comeback.
When Shayla says she's leaving your party to go to a cooler one, you tell her she might want to change first, so her shirt matches her shoes. Again -- it's with a shy smile and a laugh -- not a snip-snap, hair-tossed retort full of vitriol. It's just that when someone else wants to say something a little less than tactful, you show that you can be a little less than tactful, too. Play the game, baby!
Our buddy William Shakespeare said it best when he said, "I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed." Comebacks are sassy when they're disguised as a statement of fact or a question, as opposed to stating your opinion. They're nicer on the outside than they are on the inside. Instead of saying, "Oi! Shut up!" You say, "Is your name Kanye West? It's not? Then stop interrupting me." Kind of like that. Or, next time your friend is talking about how awesome they are, you say, "I'd like to agree with you, but I don't want to be wrong." Zing!
1-3. Be confident
If there's one thing that's true of all sassy people, it's that they're confident. It takes knowing and loving yourself to have that gusto to do your own thing, to speak your mind, to not have the personality of a wilting wallflower. So to empower your inner sass, grab that confident person within you and let them out! Because they're freaking cool.
If being confident sounds like a challenge to you, it may be easiest to start on the outside in. True, confidence comes from the inside, but a little can seep in from the outside! Get dressed up, start feeling good on the outside, and act like you think a confident you might act. Practice makes a habit, after all!
1-4. Be funny
Might as well ask your pet ferret to recite soliloquies, huh? But you can't think of it like that -- everyone has a sense of humor; everyone has things that they find humorous. It's a human thing, and it doesn't select for genes. So trust your gut -- if it makes you laugh, it probably makes someone else laugh, too!
Sassy people tend to zero-in on two types of humor: humor at another's expense and humor at their expense (aka self-deprecating humor). Both are light-hearted, of course! So next time your friend has chocolate cake on their face all day, tell them, "You had chocolate cake on your face all day. Because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone." And then when you have chocolate cake on your face all day, you tell everyone it's because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone.
1-5. Be direct and honest
Once we hit ten years old or so, we start unconsciously learning to not say what we have on our minds, girls especially. We learn to be courteous, polite, and we definitely learn to avoid embarrassing ourselves. In learning that, we lose our ability to be direct and honest. Well, to be sassy, you've got to get a little bit of that back!
This is, however, not an excuse to be mean. Sassy is not mean. So when your friend isn't pulling their weight on that group project of yours, it's not your place to say, "Yo. Check yourself before you wreck our grade, slacker." Instead, you're the one in the group with the moxie to say, "Hey. We're all working our butts off here. If you don't want to help, you're more than welcome to do a project alone, but we'd rather you chip in."
Yeah, some people will take your directness and honesty as being mean, but those are the people that expect you to be a doormat. As long as you're not going around hurting feelings for breakfast, you're fine.
1-6. Be energetic.
There's something about being sassy that is intrinsically fun. It's happy, it's bouncy, it's fun, and it's full of energy. If you're subdued, listless, and unenthusiastic, your sassiness could easily just get mistaken for cynicism. A pep to your step keeps your sassiness fun and enviable.
The easiest way to seem energetic (without running around the room, which is not what we mean) is to be present. Instead of slouching over your phone and responding to questions with glazed-over looks or daydreaming in your own little world, get in the moment. Look at people when they talk and smile and nod. Ask questions. Joke around and flirt. Live in the moment.
2. Acting Sassy
2-1. Have fun!
This is a lot like the above step, but it doesn't hurt to have the reminder that being sassy is a lot about having fun. Why wouldn't you? You're confident, energetic, and cracking people up (even if it's just you). So don't be afraid to create an atmosphere of awesome, regardless of the situation. Because with the right outlook, everything is and you are, too.
Seriously. Be that person that can have fun with anything. Did you get an extra-large slice of coffee cake at lunch today? SCORE. Uh oh. Did you spill that coffee cake on your shirt? Fashion show time! Stains are all the rage, you know. Is Becky looking at you funny, modeling your coffee cake stain? Just tell her if she can rock pit stains, you can rock the cake stains. (Said with a smile, of course.)
2-2. Make your presence known.
You know those people that manage to have some sort of invisibility power? They can walk into any room, and practically no one notices? They stick to the wall, slink in and slink out, barely making a sound? Yeah, that's not you. You're too rambunctious for that. Being sassy is something everyone notices!
So whether you're cracking jokes, telling stories, or putting on lunch-stain fashion shows, go for it. Don't shy away from all eyes being on you. And the best part? Your positive energy and vivaciousness will keep any party going. Not everybody can play that role!
2-3. Speak your mind
To be the sassy one, you'll be the one comfortable saying what everybody is thinking. You don't get embarrassed by telling it like it is -- good or bad. So many people are afraid to ask for what they want or to give even just their true thoughts on the matter. Not you!
So when your teacher gives you three days to write that 5-page paper, you tell him that that's an illogical amount of time. When your crush tells a funny joke, you're not afraid to tell him how cute he is. And when your friend is wearing that pair of pants she should not be wearing, you tell her before anyone else notices.
2-4. Make your body language sassy, too.
Since you're confident, vivacious, and bold, your body language needs to match. What does a sassy girl seem like with her mouth shut? Here's a couple things:
Walk with your head high! Shoulders back and not slouching. Too much confidence for that!
Don't shy away from eye contact. You've got things to say and other people do, too. Why not connect with them in the process?
Be flirty. Smile, touch the person you're interested in, laugh -- you know how it goes.
An eye roll or some other body equivalent (something like "talk to the hand," but less 1999) has its place in being sassy, too, but keep it to a minimum. That stuff gets negative pretty easily.
2-5. Don't worry what others think.
Just for the record, there's not a lot of room for it in the "being sassy" domain. Some people are going to find your behavior off-putting; if you're a woman, some fiercely believe that women should be quiet and shy. And in addition to that, some people may be very sensitive and find your tell-it-like-it-is mentality to be hurtful. This is going to happen. Listen to the remarks, sure. Some may have points. But if they don't, don't pay 'em any mind.
Being sassy is partly about knowing your audience. You may have a friend that can't handle your sarcasm or you poking fun at them. If that's the case, recognize this. You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone, no, but you should have to consider their feelings.
3. Increasing Your Sassy Factor
3-1. Find a role model.
Being sassy isn't exactly a stereotype that's easily accessible in modern society; however, that does seem to be slowly changing. There are more and more women in media who are stronger, bolder, and sassier by the minute. So find a role model and get some inspiration. Sometimes we need an example to follow!
Prominent examples that come to mind? Beyoncé, Ke$ha, Rihanna, even Taylor Swift has her sassy moments. Kristen Wiig, Jennifer Lawrence, and Tina Fey are good, too. Though your Aunt Jean isn't a bad idea, either!
3-2. Dress stylishly.
If a hobo is sassy, she's just being insubordinate and might be a little drunk. But if a girl who's rocking the style is sassy, she's got the whole package. While it shouldn't have anything to do with the clothes you wear, it definitely helps. When your clothes have a punch of attitude, it'll be easier for you to feel the sass, too.
"Stylishly" is obviously relative. If you're into the punk scene, you're not going to think haute couture is stylish. Trust whatever this word means to you. The important thing to take away from this is that your clothes have an effect on people -- including you. Can you imagine being sassy in a walrus outfit?
3-3. Challenge your fears.
There is something about sassy that is unafraid. It's willing to go outside of the box and do whatever it takes. So if being confident is easy if speaking your mind is easy, take it to the next level and challenge your fears -- you'll be all the better for it. You'll be bolder and shine brighter. What's not to like?
So whether it's public speaking, heights, or slugs, challenge yourself. You're not afraid of challenging others, right? You call 'em out, you tell it as it is, you're honest -- so you have to be honest with yourself, too. It's only fair!
Dunno where to start? How about wikiHow's How to Overcome Fear article?
3-4. Try something new.
Sassy people are dynamic and anything but boring. Since they can find joy and humor in just about anything, there's nothing they're not unwilling to try. So be the one in yoga class that also practices krav maga. Bring your ukulele to choir practice. Let your personality run free.
Don't be surprised when everyone else starts doing krav maga or playing the uke, too. The sassy ones are often the trendsetters, doing what other people are often too afraid to do.
Warnings
Don't overdo it, or you might be thought rude or a bit of a diva!
There will always be a few people who are easily offended, and will think of you as rude. Don't let it get to you or spoil your sass.
Some people might get jealous and spread bad rumors about you, but don't let it bring you down. Sassy people don't care about what people think; they just want to have fun!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Channeling Your Sass\\n1-1. Be a bit cheeky.\\nThis one toes the line. You want to be confident, not cocky. You want to be honest, but not hurtful. And you want to be cheeky, but not rude. Cheeky is when you say something where the words might be a little brash, but you say it with a smile on your face, and you don't actually mean anything by it. It's a spice of attitude thrown in the mix! It's a pretty common term in British English; its closest American equivalent? A sassy smart-ass.\\nSo the next time your friend texts you, \\\"Hey, can I come over and play with 'you're' ferret?\\\" and you're sick and tired of your friend's typos, instead of responding with \\\"Okay!\\\" you opt for, \\\"What?! I am a ferret?! RUDE.\\\"\\nBeing cheeky.\\n1-2. Be quick with a comeback.\\nWhen Shayla says she's leaving your party to go to a cooler one, you tell her she might want to change first, so her shirt matches her shoes. Again -- it's with a shy smile and a laugh -- not a snip-snap, hair-tossed retort full of vitriol. It's just that when someone else wants to say something a little less than tactful, you show that you can be a little less than tactful, too. Play the game, baby!\\nOur buddy William Shakespeare said it best when he said, \\\"I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.\\\" Comebacks are sassy when they're disguised as a statement of fact or a question, as opposed to stating your opinion. They're nicer on the outside than they are on the inside. Instead of saying, \\\"Oi! Shut up!\\\" You say, \\\"Is your name Kanye West? It's not? Then stop interrupting me.\\\" Kind of like that. Or, next time your friend is talking about how awesome they are, you say, \\\"I'd like to agree with you, but I don't want to be wrong.\\\" Zing!\\n1-3. Be confident\\nIf there's one thing that's true of all sassy people, it's that they're confident. It takes knowing and loving yourself to have that gusto to do your own thing, to speak your mind, to not have the personality of a wilting wallflower. So to empower your inner sass, grab that confident person within you and let them out! Because they're freaking cool.\\nIf being confident sounds like a challenge to you, it may be easiest to start on the outside in. True, confidence comes from the inside, but a little can seep in from the outside! Get dressed up, start feeling good on the outside, and act like you think a confident you might act. Practice makes a habit, after all!\\n1-4. Be funny\\nMight as well ask your pet ferret to recite soliloquies, huh? But you can't think of it like that -- everyone has a sense of humor; everyone has things that they find humorous. It's a human thing, and it doesn't select for genes. So trust your gut -- if it makes you laugh, it probably makes someone else laugh, too!\\nSassy people tend to zero-in on two types of humor: humor at another's expense and humor at their expense (aka self-deprecating humor). Both are light-hearted, of course! So next time your friend has chocolate cake on their face all day, tell them, \\\"You had chocolate cake on your face all day. Because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone.\\\" And then when you have chocolate cake on your face all day, you tell everyone it's because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone.\\n1-5. Be direct and honest\\nOnce we hit ten years old or so, we start unconsciously learning to not say what we have on our minds, girls especially. We learn to be courteous, polite, and we definitely learn to avoid embarrassing ourselves. In learning that, we lose our ability to be direct and honest. Well, to be sassy, you've got to get a little bit of that back!\\nThis is, however, not an excuse to be mean. Sassy is not mean. So when your friend isn't pulling their weight on that group project of yours, it's not your place to say, \\\"Yo. Check yourself before you wreck our grade, slacker.\\\" Instead, you're the one in the group with the moxie to say, \\\"Hey. We're all working our butts off here. If you don't want to help, you're more than welcome to do a project alone, but we'd rather you chip in.\\\"\\nYeah, some people will take your directness and honesty as being mean, but those are the people that expect you to be a doormat. As long as you're not going around hurting feelings for breakfast, you're fine.\\n1-6. Be energetic.\\nThere's something about being sassy that is intrinsically fun. It's happy, it's bouncy, it's fun, and it's full of energy. If you're subdued, listless, and unenthusiastic, your sassiness could easily just get mistaken for cynicism. A pep to your step keeps your sassiness fun and enviable.\\nThe easiest way to seem energetic (without running around the room, which is not what we mean) is to be present. Instead of slouching over your phone and responding to questions with glazed-over looks or daydreaming in your own little world, get in the moment. Look at people when they talk and smile and nod. Ask questions. Joke around and flirt. Live in the moment.\\n2. Acting Sassy\\n2-1. Have fun!\\nThis is a lot like the above step, but it doesn't hurt to have the reminder that being sassy is a lot about having fun. Why wouldn't you? You're confident, energetic, and cracking people up (even if it's just you). So don't be afraid to create an atmosphere of awesome, regardless of the situation. Because with the right outlook, everything is and you are, too.\\nSeriously. Be that person that can have fun with anything. Did you get an extra-large slice of coffee cake at lunch today? SCORE. Uh oh. Did you spill that coffee cake on your shirt? Fashion show time! Stains are all the rage, you know. Is Becky looking at you funny, modeling your coffee cake stain? Just tell her if she can rock pit stains, you can rock the cake stains. (Said with a smile, of course.)\\n2-2. Make your presence known.\\nYou know those people that manage to have some sort of invisibility power? They can walk into any room, and practically no one notices? They stick to the wall, slink in and slink out, barely making a sound? Yeah, that's not you. You're too rambunctious for that. Being sassy is something everyone notices!\\nSo whether you're cracking jokes, telling stories, or putting on lunch-stain fashion shows, go for it. Don't shy away from all eyes being on you. And the best part? Your positive energy and vivaciousness will keep any party going. Not everybody can play that role!\\n2-3. Speak your mind\\nTo be the sassy one, you'll be the one comfortable saying what everybody is thinking. You don't get embarrassed by telling it like it is -- good or bad. So many people are afraid to ask for what they want or to give even just their true thoughts on the matter. Not you!\\nSo when your teacher gives you three days to write that 5-page paper, you tell him that that's an illogical amount of time. When your crush tells a funny joke, you're not afraid to tell him how cute he is. And when your friend is wearing that pair of pants she should not be wearing, you tell her before anyone else notices.\\n2-4. Make your body language sassy, too.\\nSince you're confident, vivacious, and bold, your body language needs to match. What does a sassy girl seem like with her mouth shut? Here's a couple things:\\nWalk with your head high! Shoulders back and not slouching. Too much confidence for that!\\nDon't shy away from eye contact. You've got things to say and other people do, too. Why not connect with them in the process?\\nBe flirty. Smile, touch the person you're interested in, laugh -- you know how it goes.\\nAn eye roll or some other body equivalent (something like \\\"talk to the hand,\\\" but less 1999) has its place in being sassy, too, but keep it to a minimum. That stuff gets negative pretty easily.\\n2-5. Don't worry what others think.\\nJust for the record, there's not a lot of room for it in the \\\"being sassy\\\" domain. Some people are going to find your behavior off-putting; if you're a woman, some fiercely believe that women should be quiet and shy. And in addition to that, some people may be very sensitive and find your tell-it-like-it-is mentality to be hurtful. This is going to happen. Listen to the remarks, sure. Some may have points. But if they don't, don't pay 'em any mind.\\nBeing sassy is partly about knowing your audience. You may have a friend that can't handle your sarcasm or you poking fun at them. If that's the case, recognize this. You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone, no, but you should have to consider their feelings.\\n3. Increasing Your Sassy Factor\\n3-1. Find a role model.\\nBeing sassy isn't exactly a stereotype that's easily accessible in modern society; however, that does seem to be slowly changing. There are more and more women in media who are stronger, bolder, and sassier by the minute. So find a role model and get some inspiration. Sometimes we need an example to follow!\\nProminent examples that come to mind? Beyoncé, Ke$ha, Rihanna, even Taylor Swift has her sassy moments. Kristen Wiig, Jennifer Lawrence, and Tina Fey are good, too. Though your Aunt Jean isn't a bad idea, either!\\n3-2. Dress stylishly.\\nIf a hobo is sassy, she's just being insubordinate and might be a little drunk. But if a girl who's rocking the style is sassy, she's got the whole package. While it shouldn't have anything to do with the clothes you wear, it definitely helps. When your clothes have a punch of attitude, it'll be easier for you to feel the sass, too.\\n\\\"Stylishly\\\" is obviously relative. If you're into the punk scene, you're not going to think haute couture is stylish. Trust whatever this word means to you. The important thing to take away from this is that your clothes have an effect on people -- including you. Can you imagine being sassy in a walrus outfit?\\n3-3. Challenge your fears.\\nThere is something about sassy that is unafraid. It's willing to go outside of the box and do whatever it takes. So if being confident is easy if speaking your mind is easy, take it to the next level and challenge your fears -- you'll be all the better for it. You'll be bolder and shine brighter. What's not to like?\\nSo whether it's public speaking, heights, or slugs, challenge yourself. You're not afraid of challenging others, right? You call 'em out, you tell it as it is, you're honest -- so you have to be honest with yourself, too. It's only fair!\\nDunno where to start? How about wikiHow's How to Overcome Fear article?\\n3-4. Try something new.\\nSassy people are dynamic and anything but boring. Since they can find joy and humor in just about anything, there's nothing they're not unwilling to try. So be the one in yoga class that also practices krav maga. Bring your ukulele to choir practice. Let your personality run free.\\nDon't be surprised when everyone else starts doing krav maga or playing the uke, too. The sassy ones are often the trendsetters, doing what other people are often too afraid to do.\\nWarnings\\nDon't overdo it, or you might be thought rude or a bit of a diva!\\nThere will always be a few people who are easily offended, and will think of you as rude. Don't let it get to you or spoil your sass.\\nSome people might get jealous and spread bad rumors about you, but don't let it bring you down. Sassy people don't care about what people think; they just want to have fun!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"What's fun about being nice and shy? You want to be sassy! Saucy, vivacious, bold -- all qualities that are enviable. Instead of blending in with the crowd, you stand out. Instead of going with the flow, you create it. You're the girl with that spicy, unstoppable attitude in any situation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Channeling Your Sass\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a bit cheeky.\", \"描述\": \"This one toes the line. You want to be confident, not cocky. You want to be honest, but not hurtful. And you want to be cheeky, but not rude. Cheeky is when you say something where the words might be a little brash, but you say it with a smile on your face, and you don't actually mean anything by it. It's a spice of attitude thrown in the mix! It's a pretty common term in British English; its closest American equivalent? A sassy smart-ass.\\nSo the next time your friend texts you, \\\"Hey, can I come over and play with 'you're' ferret?\\\" and you're sick and tired of your friend's typos, instead of responding with \\\"Okay!\\\" you opt for, \\\"What?! I am a ferret?! RUDE.\\\"\\nBeing cheeky.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be quick with a comeback.\", \"描述\": \"When Shayla says she's leaving your party to go to a cooler one, you tell her she might want to change first, so her shirt matches her shoes. Again -- it's with a shy smile and a laugh -- not a snip-snap, hair-tossed retort full of vitriol. It's just that when someone else wants to say something a little less than tactful, you show that you can be a little less than tactful, too. Play the game, baby!\\nOur buddy William Shakespeare said it best when he said, \\\"I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.\\\" Comebacks are sassy when they're disguised as a statement of fact or a question, as opposed to stating your opinion. They're nicer on the outside than they are on the inside. Instead of saying, \\\"Oi! Shut up!\\\" You say, \\\"Is your name Kanye West? It's not? Then stop interrupting me.\\\" Kind of like that. Or, next time your friend is talking about how awesome they are, you say, \\\"I'd like to agree with you, but I don't want to be wrong.\\\" Zing!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"If there's one thing that's true of all sassy people, it's that they're confident. It takes knowing and loving yourself to have that gusto to do your own thing, to speak your mind, to not have the personality of a wilting wallflower. So to empower your inner sass, grab that confident person within you and let them out! Because they're freaking cool.\\nIf being confident sounds like a challenge to you, it may be easiest to start on the outside in. True, confidence comes from the inside, but a little can seep in from the outside! Get dressed up, start feeling good on the outside, and act like you think a confident you might act. Practice makes a habit, after all!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be funny\", \"描述\": \"Might as well ask your pet ferret to recite soliloquies, huh? But you can't think of it like that -- everyone has a sense of humor; everyone has things that they find humorous. It's a human thing, and it doesn't select for genes. So trust your gut -- if it makes you laugh, it probably makes someone else laugh, too!\\nSassy people tend to zero-in on two types of humor: humor at another's expense and humor at their expense (aka self-deprecating humor). Both are light-hearted, of course! So next time your friend has chocolate cake on their face all day, tell them, \\\"You had chocolate cake on your face all day. Because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone.\\\" And then when you have chocolate cake on your face all day, you tell everyone it's because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be direct and honest\", \"描述\": \"Once we hit ten years old or so, we start unconsciously learning to not say what we have on our minds, girls especially. We learn to be courteous, polite, and we definitely learn to avoid embarrassing ourselves. In learning that, we lose our ability to be direct and honest. Well, to be sassy, you've got to get a little bit of that back!\\nThis is, however, not an excuse to be mean. Sassy is not mean. So when your friend isn't pulling their weight on that group project of yours, it's not your place to say, \\\"Yo. Check yourself before you wreck our grade, slacker.\\\" Instead, you're the one in the group with the moxie to say, \\\"Hey. We're all working our butts off here. If you don't want to help, you're more than welcome to do a project alone, but we'd rather you chip in.\\\"\\nYeah, some people will take your directness and honesty as being mean, but those are the people that expect you to be a doormat. As long as you're not going around hurting feelings for breakfast, you're fine.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be energetic.\", \"描述\": \"There's something about being sassy that is intrinsically fun. It's happy, it's bouncy, it's fun, and it's full of energy. If you're subdued, listless, and unenthusiastic, your sassiness could easily just get mistaken for cynicism. A pep to your step keeps your sassiness fun and enviable.\\nThe easiest way to seem energetic (without running around the room, which is not what we mean) is to be present. Instead of slouching over your phone and responding to questions with glazed-over looks or daydreaming in your own little world, get in the moment. Look at people when they talk and smile and nod. Ask questions. Joke around and flirt. Live in the moment.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Sassy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have fun!\", \"描述\": \"This is a lot like the above step, but it doesn't hurt to have the reminder that being sassy is a lot about having fun. Why wouldn't you? You're confident, energetic, and cracking people up (even if it's just you). So don't be afraid to create an atmosphere of awesome, regardless of the situation. Because with the right outlook, everything is and you are, too.\\nSeriously. Be that person that can have fun with anything. Did you get an extra-large slice of coffee cake at lunch today? SCORE. Uh oh. Did you spill that coffee cake on your shirt? Fashion show time! Stains are all the rage, you know. Is Becky looking at you funny, modeling your coffee cake stain? Just tell her if she can rock pit stains, you can rock the cake stains. (Said with a smile, of course.)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make your presence known.\", \"描述\": \"You know those people that manage to have some sort of invisibility power? They can walk into any room, and practically no one notices? They stick to the wall, slink in and slink out, barely making a sound? Yeah, that's not you. You're too rambunctious for that. Being sassy is something everyone notices!\\nSo whether you're cracking jokes, telling stories, or putting on lunch-stain fashion shows, go for it. Don't shy away from all eyes being on you. And the best part? Your positive energy and vivaciousness will keep any party going. Not everybody can play that role!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak your mind\", \"描述\": \"To be the sassy one, you'll be the one comfortable saying what everybody is thinking. You don't get embarrassed by telling it like it is -- good or bad. So many people are afraid to ask for what they want or to give even just their true thoughts on the matter. Not you!\\nSo when your teacher gives you three days to write that 5-page paper, you tell him that that's an illogical amount of time. When your crush tells a funny joke, you're not afraid to tell him how cute he is. And when your friend is wearing that pair of pants she should not be wearing, you tell her before anyone else notices.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make your body language sassy, too.\", \"描述\": \"Since you're confident, vivacious, and bold, your body language needs to match. What does a sassy girl seem like with her mouth shut? Here's a couple things:\\nWalk with your head high! Shoulders back and not slouching. Too much confidence for that!\\nDon't shy away from eye contact. You've got things to say and other people do, too. Why not connect with them in the process?\\nBe flirty. Smile, touch the person you're interested in, laugh -- you know how it goes.\\nAn eye roll or some other body equivalent (something like \\\"talk to the hand,\\\" but less 1999) has its place in being sassy, too, but keep it to a minimum. That stuff gets negative pretty easily.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't worry what others think.\", \"描述\": \"Just for the record, there's not a lot of room for it in the \\\"being sassy\\\" domain. Some people are going to find your behavior off-putting; if you're a woman, some fiercely believe that women should be quiet and shy. And in addition to that, some people may be very sensitive and find your tell-it-like-it-is mentality to be hurtful. This is going to happen. Listen to the remarks, sure. Some may have points. But if they don't, don't pay 'em any mind.\\nBeing sassy is partly about knowing your audience. You may have a friend that can't handle your sarcasm or you poking fun at them. If that's the case, recognize this. You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone, no, but you should have to consider their feelings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Increasing Your Sassy Factor\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a role model.\", \"描述\": \"Being sassy isn't exactly a stereotype that's easily accessible in modern society; however, that does seem to be slowly changing. There are more and more women in media who are stronger, bolder, and sassier by the minute. So find a role model and get some inspiration. Sometimes we need an example to follow!\\nProminent examples that come to mind? Beyoncé, Ke$ha, Rihanna, even Taylor Swift has her sassy moments. Kristen Wiig, Jennifer Lawrence, and Tina Fey are good, too. Though your Aunt Jean isn't a bad idea, either!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress stylishly.\", \"描述\": \"If a hobo is sassy, she's just being insubordinate and might be a little drunk. But if a girl who's rocking the style is sassy, she's got the whole package. While it shouldn't have anything to do with the clothes you wear, it definitely helps. When your clothes have a punch of attitude, it'll be easier for you to feel the sass, too.\\n\\\"Stylishly\\\" is obviously relative. If you're into the punk scene, you're not going to think haute couture is stylish. Trust whatever this word means to you. The important thing to take away from this is that your clothes have an effect on people -- including you. Can you imagine being sassy in a walrus outfit?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Challenge your fears.\", \"描述\": \"There is something about sassy that is unafraid. It's willing to go outside of the box and do whatever it takes. So if being confident is easy if speaking your mind is easy, take it to the next level and challenge your fears -- you'll be all the better for it. You'll be bolder and shine brighter. What's not to like?\\nSo whether it's public speaking, heights, or slugs, challenge yourself. You're not afraid of challenging others, right? You call 'em out, you tell it as it is, you're honest -- so you have to be honest with yourself, too. It's only fair!\\nDunno where to start? How about wikiHow's How to Overcome Fear article?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try something new.\", \"描述\": \"Sassy people are dynamic and anything but boring. Since they can find joy and humor in just about anything, there's nothing they're not unwilling to try. So be the one in yoga class that also practices krav maga. Bring your ukulele to choir practice. Let your personality run free.\\nDon't be surprised when everyone else starts doing krav maga or playing the uke, too. The sassy ones are often the trendsetters, doing what other people are often too afraid to do.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't overdo it, or you might be thought rude or a bit of a diva!\\n\", \"There will always be a few people who are easily offended, and will think of you as rude. Don't let it get to you or spoil your sass.\\n\", \"Some people might get jealous and spread bad rumors about you, but don't let it bring you down. Sassy people don't care about what people think; they just want to have fun!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,130 | How to Be Satisfied With What You Have | 1. Developing a Positive Attitude
1-1. Practice daily gratitude.
Write in a gratitude journal each day in order to consistently recognize all of the great things that you have in your life. Whether you write a whole page or just a sentence each day on what you feel grateful for, this activity may help you feel satisfied by bringing all the positives of your life to light.
Try writing down one thing for every letter of the alphabet (a-z) that you’re grateful for.
If you want to involve others in your daily gratitude, consider writing thank you notes to those you’re grateful for.
1-2. Be open to change.
Those who change at least one of their viewpoints or behaviors every few months are more likely to look to the future with hope and positivity. These individuals also generally claim to be in a better mood most of the time. Keep in mind that growth isn’t possible without change, and try to approach life’s changes with open arms so that you can feel more satisfied overall.
For example, you may find that you accidentally interrupt people sometimes, and then make a conscious effort to change this behavior.
For example, you may decide to change your political stance on taxes after you hear someone bring up a few strong points that you hadn’t before considered.
1-3. Look at things from a new perspective.
By attempting to look at seemingly negative situations in a positive light, you can change your thought processes over time. This may help you to feel more satisfied because you’re putting a positive filter on the people, events, and situations in your life.
For instance, maybe your job wasn’t really fulfilling, and losing it was a gift in disguise because now you can pursue your true passion.
1-4. Recognize that having more doesn’t ensure happiness.
Reflect on those who you know that are wealthy and those who aren’t as fortunate. There are many people who have less than you but still manage to have a positive outlook on life. There are also many who have more than you and are dissatisfied. Keep this in mind when you think you have to have more in order to be happy.
2. Interacting with Others
2-1. Invest in friendships.
Studies have shown that having several close friendships significantly increase people’s optimism and life satisfaction. Reach out to your friends and invite them to things more often. Make a conscious effort to prioritize time with friends. The closeness that may result in investing in your friendships may also come with comforting support and fun experiences.
2-2. Accept loved ones for who they are.
You may wish that your spouse would be more organized or that your child would be more athletic. Try not to get too caught up in what you wish was different about those who you love. This can cause strain on your relationships and dissatisfaction. Instead, try your best to accept those who you love for who they are.
2-3. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Most of the people that you come in contact with are on a different path or at a different stage of life than you are. Try to celebrate others’ happiness, accomplishments, and good fortune instead of comparing them to your own. This will lead to less bitterness and jealousy and more peace of mind.
2-4. Keep in mind that people often omit negativity on social media.
When scrolling through all of the happy faces and fun adventures posted on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites, it’s easy to get jealous. Try to remember that everyone has positive and negative experiences, even if you only see the good aspects of their lives on social media.
2-5. Volunteer to serve others.
Helping others can lift your spirits and give you a sense of purpose. When you’re immersed in the hard work of day-to-day life, it can be hard to see the point of everything you’re doing. Volunteering for those in need can often have a more obvious impact. This sense of purpose can help you to feel more satisfied with your life.
For instance, you may feel purposeful while volunteering at a soup kitchen to serve lunch to the homeless individuals in your community. The impact of this activity is apparent because it involves feeding those who are hungry and without food.
3. Embracing Simplicity
3-1. Incorporate non-material joys into your life.
Start by making a list of all the things you love that don’t require or involve money. Refer to this list often and try to incorporate one or more things on the list into each day.
Some things on your list might include: love, laughter, faith, family, long walks, nature, and more.
3-2. Buy what you need and not what you want.
Struggling financially can often lead to unhappiness in life. While it’s often difficult to ever be in a position where money isn’t a concern at all, you can lessen the stress by living within your means. Instead of just buying whatever you want, think through every purchase and mostly only buy the things that you need in order to survive comfortably.
If your friend just got the new iPhone and you really like it, take a look at your own phone. If it’s functioning properly, there’s no need to get a new one. If your phone has issues, do some research to see what affordable, reliable phones are currently on the market.
3-3. Desire what you have.
Instead of focusing on all of the things you don’t have, try to focus on all of the things you do have. If you’re often wanting more than you possess, you might never feel fulfilled because there are so many fancy, expensive material items out there and you may never be able to buy all of them. Try to get enjoyment out of the things you already own and use.
If you’re frustrated because you can’t afford a fun video game that just came out, play some of the games you already own. You bought those for a reason, and you can have fun playing them as well.
Tips
Keep in mind that you have no power to act on yesterday or tomorrow. All you can do is try to focus on and improve the quality of the present, which will in turn improve the quality of your future.
Spread acts of kindness, no matter how insignificant you may think they are.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing a Positive Attitude\\n1-1. Practice daily gratitude.\\nWrite in a gratitude journal each day in order to consistently recognize all of the great things that you have in your life. Whether you write a whole page or just a sentence each day on what you feel grateful for, this activity may help you feel satisfied by bringing all the positives of your life to light.\\nTry writing down one thing for every letter of the alphabet (a-z) that you’re grateful for.\\nIf you want to involve others in your daily gratitude, consider writing thank you notes to those you’re grateful for.\\n1-2. Be open to change.\\nThose who change at least one of their viewpoints or behaviors every few months are more likely to look to the future with hope and positivity. These individuals also generally claim to be in a better mood most of the time. Keep in mind that growth isn’t possible without change, and try to approach life’s changes with open arms so that you can feel more satisfied overall.\\nFor example, you may find that you accidentally interrupt people sometimes, and then make a conscious effort to change this behavior.\\nFor example, you may decide to change your political stance on taxes after you hear someone bring up a few strong points that you hadn’t before considered.\\n1-3. Look at things from a new perspective.\\nBy attempting to look at seemingly negative situations in a positive light, you can change your thought processes over time. This may help you to feel more satisfied because you’re putting a positive filter on the people, events, and situations in your life.\\nFor instance, maybe your job wasn’t really fulfilling, and losing it was a gift in disguise because now you can pursue your true passion.\\n1-4. Recognize that having more doesn’t ensure happiness.\\nReflect on those who you know that are wealthy and those who aren’t as fortunate. There are many people who have less than you but still manage to have a positive outlook on life. There are also many who have more than you and are dissatisfied. Keep this in mind when you think you have to have more in order to be happy.\\n2. Interacting with Others\\n2-1. Invest in friendships.\\nStudies have shown that having several close friendships significantly increase people’s optimism and life satisfaction. Reach out to your friends and invite them to things more often. Make a conscious effort to prioritize time with friends. The closeness that may result in investing in your friendships may also come with comforting support and fun experiences.\\n2-2. Accept loved ones for who they are.\\nYou may wish that your spouse would be more organized or that your child would be more athletic. Try not to get too caught up in what you wish was different about those who you love. This can cause strain on your relationships and dissatisfaction. Instead, try your best to accept those who you love for who they are.\\n2-3. Don’t compare yourself to others.\\nMost of the people that you come in contact with are on a different path or at a different stage of life than you are. Try to celebrate others’ happiness, accomplishments, and good fortune instead of comparing them to your own. This will lead to less bitterness and jealousy and more peace of mind.\\n2-4. Keep in mind that people often omit negativity on social media.\\nWhen scrolling through all of the happy faces and fun adventures posted on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites, it’s easy to get jealous. Try to remember that everyone has positive and negative experiences, even if you only see the good aspects of their lives on social media.\\n2-5. Volunteer to serve others.\\nHelping others can lift your spirits and give you a sense of purpose. When you’re immersed in the hard work of day-to-day life, it can be hard to see the point of everything you’re doing. Volunteering for those in need can often have a more obvious impact. This sense of purpose can help you to feel more satisfied with your life.\\nFor instance, you may feel purposeful while volunteering at a soup kitchen to serve lunch to the homeless individuals in your community. The impact of this activity is apparent because it involves feeding those who are hungry and without food.\\n3. Embracing Simplicity\\n3-1. Incorporate non-material joys into your life.\\nStart by making a list of all the things you love that don’t require or involve money. Refer to this list often and try to incorporate one or more things on the list into each day.\\nSome things on your list might include: love, laughter, faith, family, long walks, nature, and more.\\n3-2. Buy what you need and not what you want.\\nStruggling financially can often lead to unhappiness in life. While it’s often difficult to ever be in a position where money isn’t a concern at all, you can lessen the stress by living within your means. Instead of just buying whatever you want, think through every purchase and mostly only buy the things that you need in order to survive comfortably.\\nIf your friend just got the new iPhone and you really like it, take a look at your own phone. If it’s functioning properly, there’s no need to get a new one. If your phone has issues, do some research to see what affordable, reliable phones are currently on the market.\\n3-3. Desire what you have.\\nInstead of focusing on all of the things you don’t have, try to focus on all of the things you do have. If you’re often wanting more than you possess, you might never feel fulfilled because there are so many fancy, expensive material items out there and you may never be able to buy all of them. Try to get enjoyment out of the things you already own and use.\\nIf you’re frustrated because you can’t afford a fun video game that just came out, play some of the games you already own. You bought those for a reason, and you can have fun playing them as well.\\nTips\\nKeep in mind that you have no power to act on yesterday or tomorrow. All you can do is try to focus on and improve the quality of the present, which will in turn improve the quality of your future.\\nSpread acts of kindness, no matter how insignificant you may think they are.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In a world where “more” and “better” are so often emphasized, it can be tough to just be happy with what you’ve got. There’s a lot of pressure to have the perfect relationships, the most expensive material items, and a life that appears to be in order. However, there truly are so many things to be grateful for in your unique day-to-day life. In order to become satisfied with what you currently have, work on developing a positive attitude, interacting with others, and embracing simplicity.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing a Positive Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice daily gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Write in a gratitude journal each day in order to consistently recognize all of the great things that you have in your life. Whether you write a whole page or just a sentence each day on what you feel grateful for, this activity may help you feel satisfied by bringing all the positives of your life to light.\\nTry writing down one thing for every letter of the alphabet (a-z) that you’re grateful for.\\nIf you want to involve others in your daily gratitude, consider writing thank you notes to those you’re grateful for.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be open to change.\", \"描述\": \"Those who change at least one of their viewpoints or behaviors every few months are more likely to look to the future with hope and positivity. These individuals also generally claim to be in a better mood most of the time. Keep in mind that growth isn’t possible without change, and try to approach life’s changes with open arms so that you can feel more satisfied overall.\\nFor example, you may find that you accidentally interrupt people sometimes, and then make a conscious effort to change this behavior.\\nFor example, you may decide to change your political stance on taxes after you hear someone bring up a few strong points that you hadn’t before considered.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look at things from a new perspective.\", \"描述\": \"By attempting to look at seemingly negative situations in a positive light, you can change your thought processes over time. This may help you to feel more satisfied because you’re putting a positive filter on the people, events, and situations in your life.\\nFor instance, maybe your job wasn’t really fulfilling, and losing it was a gift in disguise because now you can pursue your true passion.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recognize that having more doesn’t ensure happiness.\", \"描述\": \"Reflect on those who you know that are wealthy and those who aren’t as fortunate. There are many people who have less than you but still manage to have a positive outlook on life. There are also many who have more than you and are dissatisfied. Keep this in mind when you think you have to have more in order to be happy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invest in friendships.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that having several close friendships significantly increase people’s optimism and life satisfaction. Reach out to your friends and invite them to things more often. Make a conscious effort to prioritize time with friends. The closeness that may result in investing in your friendships may also come with comforting support and fun experiences.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept loved ones for who they are.\", \"描述\": \"You may wish that your spouse would be more organized or that your child would be more athletic. Try not to get too caught up in what you wish was different about those who you love. This can cause strain on your relationships and dissatisfaction. Instead, try your best to accept those who you love for who they are.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t compare yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"Most of the people that you come in contact with are on a different path or at a different stage of life than you are. Try to celebrate others’ happiness, accomplishments, and good fortune instead of comparing them to your own. This will lead to less bitterness and jealousy and more peace of mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep in mind that people often omit negativity on social media.\", \"描述\": \"When scrolling through all of the happy faces and fun adventures posted on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites, it’s easy to get jealous. Try to remember that everyone has positive and negative experiences, even if you only see the good aspects of their lives on social media.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Volunteer to serve others.\", \"描述\": \"Helping others can lift your spirits and give you a sense of purpose. When you’re immersed in the hard work of day-to-day life, it can be hard to see the point of everything you’re doing. Volunteering for those in need can often have a more obvious impact. This sense of purpose can help you to feel more satisfied with your life.\\nFor instance, you may feel purposeful while volunteering at a soup kitchen to serve lunch to the homeless individuals in your community. The impact of this activity is apparent because it involves feeding those who are hungry and without food.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embracing Simplicity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Incorporate non-material joys into your life.\", \"描述\": \"Start by making a list of all the things you love that don’t require or involve money. Refer to this list often and try to incorporate one or more things on the list into each day.\\nSome things on your list might include: love, laughter, faith, family, long walks, nature, and more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy what you need and not what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Struggling financially can often lead to unhappiness in life. While it’s often difficult to ever be in a position where money isn’t a concern at all, you can lessen the stress by living within your means. Instead of just buying whatever you want, think through every purchase and mostly only buy the things that you need in order to survive comfortably.\\nIf your friend just got the new iPhone and you really like it, take a look at your own phone. If it’s functioning properly, there’s no need to get a new one. If your phone has issues, do some research to see what affordable, reliable phones are currently on the market.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Desire what you have.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of focusing on all of the things you don’t have, try to focus on all of the things you do have. If you’re often wanting more than you possess, you might never feel fulfilled because there are so many fancy, expensive material items out there and you may never be able to buy all of them. Try to get enjoyment out of the things you already own and use.\\nIf you’re frustrated because you can’t afford a fun video game that just came out, play some of the games you already own. You bought those for a reason, and you can have fun playing them as well.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Keep in mind that you have no power to act on yesterday or tomorrow. All you can do is try to focus on and improve the quality of the present, which will in turn improve the quality of your future.\\n\", \"Spread acts of kindness, no matter how insignificant you may think they are.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,131 | How to Be Saved Through Jesus Christ | 1. Following the Bible
1-1. Accept Jesus as the Son of God.
According to the Bible, all Christians who recognize Jesus as the Son of God are able to be saved. If you truly believe that God and Jesus are one entity, created the universe and everything in it, and are kind and forgiving, you are considered a Christian. In the Bible, only Christians are able to accept the gift of salvation.
It’s important that you do this, because without accepting Jesus into your life, you can’t be considered a Christian.
1-2. Read about Jesus’ death on the cross to understand salvation.
In the Bible, God sends Jesus to Earth so that he can die and absolve humanity of original sin. Focus your reading on the books of Mark, Luke, and Matthew, each of which includes detailed stories about how Jesus died on the cross and his acceptance into Heaven by God. Each of these books tells the individual Apostle’s recollection of the life of Jesus, and will help you understand who Jesus is.
This is considered Jesus’s first act of “salvation,” and acts as a reminder that no matter what your sins are, Jesus can forgive them if you’re truly sorry.
1-3. Devote yourself fully to God in everything you do.
Live your life with the teachings of Jesus and God in mind, which will show that you are dedicated to having a holy life. Follow the Ten Commandments, which are instructions from God about how to be a good Christian. Do your best in school, work, and other activities to bring glory to God.
For example, you can do kind things for your parents in order to live out the commandment that says that you should “honor your father and mother.”
One way to show your devotion to God is by attending an organized church service. However, if you don’t attend church, you can still be saved through Jesus.
1-4. Be kind and respectful of other people.
In every interaction, try to remain upbeat and positive, and think the best of other people. As a general rule, it’s best to treat others the way you want to be treated, and act through love. Even when someone does something that hurts your feelings or pride, remember that Jesus loved everyone, including the people who sentenced him to die on the cross.
For example, if one of your friends is spreading a rumor about you, you should talk to them about what’s going on, rather than talking about them behind their back. Once you talk about the issue, you can forgive them just as Jesus forgives all sinners.
If you’re having a particularly hard time with a conflict, try asking yourself “What would Jesus do?” to remind yourself of the forgiveness that Jesus exhibits.
1-5. Volunteer and serve your community to spread love and kindness.
In your free time, do good deeds and help others without expecting anything in return, just as Jesus did in the Bible. Follow Jesus’ teachings about treating others as you would want to be treated by volunteering for those in need. These will help you maintain a positive outlook in life and can remind you how Jesus’ love can help everyone, no matter their situation in life.
For example, you could volunteer weekly at a local soup kitchen or organize a community day with proceeds that benefit a local non-profit.
Avoid talking about religion while you’re volunteering unless you’re taking part in a special mission trip through a church. Some people may not agree with your views, and you can help them whether you agree with them or not.
2. Asking for Salvation Through Prayer
2-1. Confess your sins through prayer to communicate with God.
When you commit a sin, sit down and take time to think about what happened. Use the time to pray in whatever manner you prefer, and be honest about what happened and why it happened. For instance, you might say something like “Dear Father, I’ve been having a hard time controlling my temper lately, and I lashed out and yelled at a friend today. Truly, I’m worried about disappointing my friends, and I don’t want to hurt them anymore.”
It’s important to be honest about the situation and your intentions. As long as you’re honest, you can ask for forgiveness.
2-2. Recite a prayer asking for forgiveness when you sin.
Once you’ve prayed about your sin, you can ask for forgiveness. Recite a “sinner’s prayer” of your choice, or make up your own to be specific to your situation. Emphasize that you are truly sorry for your actions, and think of ways that you will try harder to act in Jesus’ image.
2-3. Pray for the salvation of non-believers.
If your friends and family haven’t accepted Jesus as the Son of God, you can pray for their salvation too. Communicate with God about how much you love them, and think about all of the ways they have helped you grow closer to God. Ask for God’s help in showing them the beauty of salvation through the Lord.
It’s okay to pray for the salvation of people who have a different religion from you. They don’t have to change their beliefs, but you can still pray for them.
2-4. Make a plan to avoid temptation and sin.
If you continue to commit the same sins over and over, try coming up with a way to remove yourself from the situation or avoid it altogether. Talk to your pastor, spiritual guide, or an adult who you trust about the situation. Finally, pray to Jesus to ask for guidance about how to resist temptation in your life.
For example, if you tend to take the Lord’s name in vain when you’re mad, try to come up with other ways to verbally express your frustration. If you frequently say “Jesus Christ” or “Oh my God” you could say something like “Goodness Gracious” or “Sheesh!”
Tips
Remember that according to the Bible, God’s forgiveness is eternal as long as you’re truly sorry for the sins you’ve committed.
Keep in mind that your relationship with Jesus is always a work in progress, and you won’t be guaranteed salvation unless you truly accept Him into your life and are working to get better all the time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Following the Bible\\n1-1. Accept Jesus as the Son of God.\\nAccording to the Bible, all Christians who recognize Jesus as the Son of God are able to be saved. If you truly believe that God and Jesus are one entity, created the universe and everything in it, and are kind and forgiving, you are considered a Christian. In the Bible, only Christians are able to accept the gift of salvation.\\nIt’s important that you do this, because without accepting Jesus into your life, you can’t be considered a Christian.\\n1-2. Read about Jesus’ death on the cross to understand salvation.\\nIn the Bible, God sends Jesus to Earth so that he can die and absolve humanity of original sin. Focus your reading on the books of Mark, Luke, and Matthew, each of which includes detailed stories about how Jesus died on the cross and his acceptance into Heaven by God. Each of these books tells the individual Apostle’s recollection of the life of Jesus, and will help you understand who Jesus is.\\nThis is considered Jesus’s first act of “salvation,” and acts as a reminder that no matter what your sins are, Jesus can forgive them if you’re truly sorry.\\n1-3. Devote yourself fully to God in everything you do.\\nLive your life with the teachings of Jesus and God in mind, which will show that you are dedicated to having a holy life. Follow the Ten Commandments, which are instructions from God about how to be a good Christian. Do your best in school, work, and other activities to bring glory to God.\\nFor example, you can do kind things for your parents in order to live out the commandment that says that you should “honor your father and mother.”\\nOne way to show your devotion to God is by attending an organized church service. However, if you don’t attend church, you can still be saved through Jesus.\\n1-4. Be kind and respectful of other people.\\nIn every interaction, try to remain upbeat and positive, and think the best of other people. As a general rule, it’s best to treat others the way you want to be treated, and act through love. Even when someone does something that hurts your feelings or pride, remember that Jesus loved everyone, including the people who sentenced him to die on the cross.\\nFor example, if one of your friends is spreading a rumor about you, you should talk to them about what’s going on, rather than talking about them behind their back. Once you talk about the issue, you can forgive them just as Jesus forgives all sinners.\\nIf you’re having a particularly hard time with a conflict, try asking yourself “What would Jesus do?” to remind yourself of the forgiveness that Jesus exhibits.\\n1-5. Volunteer and serve your community to spread love and kindness.\\nIn your free time, do good deeds and help others without expecting anything in return, just as Jesus did in the Bible. Follow Jesus’ teachings about treating others as you would want to be treated by volunteering for those in need. These will help you maintain a positive outlook in life and can remind you how Jesus’ love can help everyone, no matter their situation in life.\\nFor example, you could volunteer weekly at a local soup kitchen or organize a community day with proceeds that benefit a local non-profit.\\nAvoid talking about religion while you’re volunteering unless you’re taking part in a special mission trip through a church. Some people may not agree with your views, and you can help them whether you agree with them or not.\\n2. Asking for Salvation Through Prayer\\n2-1. Confess your sins through prayer to communicate with God.\\nWhen you commit a sin, sit down and take time to think about what happened. Use the time to pray in whatever manner you prefer, and be honest about what happened and why it happened. For instance, you might say something like “Dear Father, I’ve been having a hard time controlling my temper lately, and I lashed out and yelled at a friend today. Truly, I’m worried about disappointing my friends, and I don’t want to hurt them anymore.”\\nIt’s important to be honest about the situation and your intentions. As long as you’re honest, you can ask for forgiveness.\\n2-2. Recite a prayer asking for forgiveness when you sin.\\nOnce you’ve prayed about your sin, you can ask for forgiveness. Recite a “sinner’s prayer” of your choice, or make up your own to be specific to your situation. Emphasize that you are truly sorry for your actions, and think of ways that you will try harder to act in Jesus’ image.\\n2-3. Pray for the salvation of non-believers.\\nIf your friends and family haven’t accepted Jesus as the Son of God, you can pray for their salvation too. Communicate with God about how much you love them, and think about all of the ways they have helped you grow closer to God. Ask for God’s help in showing them the beauty of salvation through the Lord.\\nIt’s okay to pray for the salvation of people who have a different religion from you. They don’t have to change their beliefs, but you can still pray for them.\\n2-4. Make a plan to avoid temptation and sin.\\nIf you continue to commit the same sins over and over, try coming up with a way to remove yourself from the situation or avoid it altogether. Talk to your pastor, spiritual guide, or an adult who you trust about the situation. Finally, pray to Jesus to ask for guidance about how to resist temptation in your life.\\nFor example, if you tend to take the Lord’s name in vain when you’re mad, try to come up with other ways to verbally express your frustration. If you frequently say “Jesus Christ” or “Oh my God” you could say something like “Goodness Gracious” or “Sheesh!”\\nTips\\nRemember that according to the Bible, God’s forgiveness is eternal as long as you’re truly sorry for the sins you’ve committed.\\nKeep in mind that your relationship with Jesus is always a work in progress, and you won’t be guaranteed salvation unless you truly accept Him into your life and are working to get better all the time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"According to the Christian Bible, Jesus’ forgiveness is eternal, and anyone who accepts Jesus into their life is eligible for salvation. If you want Jesus’ gift of salvation, there are a few things you have to commit to doing, like confessing your sins and asking for forgiveness. In general, you should also commit to being a good Christian and following the Bible so that you will be accepted into Heaven.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Following the Bible\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept Jesus as the Son of God.\", \"描述\": \"According to the Bible, all Christians who recognize Jesus as the Son of God are able to be saved. If you truly believe that God and Jesus are one entity, created the universe and everything in it, and are kind and forgiving, you are considered a Christian. In the Bible, only Christians are able to accept the gift of salvation.\\nIt’s important that you do this, because without accepting Jesus into your life, you can’t be considered a Christian.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read about Jesus’ death on the cross to understand salvation.\", \"描述\": \"In the Bible, God sends Jesus to Earth so that he can die and absolve humanity of original sin. Focus your reading on the books of Mark, Luke, and Matthew, each of which includes detailed stories about how Jesus died on the cross and his acceptance into Heaven by God. Each of these books tells the individual Apostle’s recollection of the life of Jesus, and will help you understand who Jesus is.\\nThis is considered Jesus’s first act of “salvation,” and acts as a reminder that no matter what your sins are, Jesus can forgive them if you’re truly sorry.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Devote yourself fully to God in everything you do.\", \"描述\": \"Live your life with the teachings of Jesus and God in mind, which will show that you are dedicated to having a holy life. Follow the Ten Commandments, which are instructions from God about how to be a good Christian. Do your best in school, work, and other activities to bring glory to God.\\nFor example, you can do kind things for your parents in order to live out the commandment that says that you should “honor your father and mother.”\\nOne way to show your devotion to God is by attending an organized church service. However, if you don’t attend church, you can still be saved through Jesus.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be kind and respectful of other people.\", \"描述\": \"In every interaction, try to remain upbeat and positive, and think the best of other people. As a general rule, it’s best to treat others the way you want to be treated, and act through love. Even when someone does something that hurts your feelings or pride, remember that Jesus loved everyone, including the people who sentenced him to die on the cross.\\nFor example, if one of your friends is spreading a rumor about you, you should talk to them about what’s going on, rather than talking about them behind their back. Once you talk about the issue, you can forgive them just as Jesus forgives all sinners.\\nIf you’re having a particularly hard time with a conflict, try asking yourself “What would Jesus do?” to remind yourself of the forgiveness that Jesus exhibits.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Volunteer and serve your community to spread love and kindness.\", \"描述\": \"In your free time, do good deeds and help others without expecting anything in return, just as Jesus did in the Bible. Follow Jesus’ teachings about treating others as you would want to be treated by volunteering for those in need. These will help you maintain a positive outlook in life and can remind you how Jesus’ love can help everyone, no matter their situation in life.\\nFor example, you could volunteer weekly at a local soup kitchen or organize a community day with proceeds that benefit a local non-profit.\\nAvoid talking about religion while you’re volunteering unless you’re taking part in a special mission trip through a church. Some people may not agree with your views, and you can help them whether you agree with them or not.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking for Salvation Through Prayer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Confess your sins through prayer to communicate with God.\", \"描述\": \"When you commit a sin, sit down and take time to think about what happened. Use the time to pray in whatever manner you prefer, and be honest about what happened and why it happened. For instance, you might say something like “Dear Father, I’ve been having a hard time controlling my temper lately, and I lashed out and yelled at a friend today. Truly, I’m worried about disappointing my friends, and I don’t want to hurt them anymore.”\\nIt’s important to be honest about the situation and your intentions. As long as you’re honest, you can ask for forgiveness.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recite a prayer asking for forgiveness when you sin.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve prayed about your sin, you can ask for forgiveness. Recite a “sinner’s prayer” of your choice, or make up your own to be specific to your situation. Emphasize that you are truly sorry for your actions, and think of ways that you will try harder to act in Jesus’ image.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pray for the salvation of non-believers.\", \"描述\": \"If your friends and family haven’t accepted Jesus as the Son of God, you can pray for their salvation too. Communicate with God about how much you love them, and think about all of the ways they have helped you grow closer to God. Ask for God’s help in showing them the beauty of salvation through the Lord.\\nIt’s okay to pray for the salvation of people who have a different religion from you. They don’t have to change their beliefs, but you can still pray for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a plan to avoid temptation and sin.\", \"描述\": \"If you continue to commit the same sins over and over, try coming up with a way to remove yourself from the situation or avoid it altogether. Talk to your pastor, spiritual guide, or an adult who you trust about the situation. Finally, pray to Jesus to ask for guidance about how to resist temptation in your life.\\nFor example, if you tend to take the Lord’s name in vain when you’re mad, try to come up with other ways to verbally express your frustration. If you frequently say “Jesus Christ” or “Oh my God” you could say something like “Goodness Gracious” or “Sheesh!”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that according to the Bible, God’s forgiveness is eternal as long as you’re truly sorry for the sins you’ve committed.\\n\", \"Keep in mind that your relationship with Jesus is always a work in progress, and you won’t be guaranteed salvation unless you truly accept Him into your life and are working to get better all the time.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,132 | How to Be Secretive About Your Whereabouts To Your Parents | 1. Covering All Your Bases
1-1. Tell as much truth as you can.
You will feel better and there is less of a chance of getting caught if you share part of the truth. For example, if you say that you're going to eat with one of your friends, actually do it. Then, since you’re already out, you can do the other secretive activity on the way to or from the restaurant.
To avoid getting caught, try to make sure that your secret destination isn't more than 15 or so minutes away from where you're supposed to be. It would be very stressful to get stranded somewhere hours away and then have to explain to your parents why you were there.
1-2. Turn off the location services on your cell phone.
If you and your parents have an app like Find my Friends, your parents will be able to see where you are. Be sure that, if you and your parents have this app, you disable your location settings before going on a secret mission.
1-3. Don’t answer the phone if there is background noise.
If you are in a place with noise that will give away your whereabouts, let your parents’ call go to voicemail. Then, immediately text them and explain why you couldn’t answer. That way, they won’t worry because they are hearing from you, and you won’t have to lie directly about where you are.
In your text, you could say something like, “Sorry I couldn’t answer! Jessie was telling me an important story, and I didn’t want to cut her off. I love you! I’ll call back soon!” This will give you time to relocate to a quieter area to call them back, or to head home.
If your parents know this trick or get suspicious when you don’t answer calls, try to duck into a bathroom or quiet hallway to answer the call.
1-4. Avoid saying you’re inside if you are outside or driving.
If you call your parents to tell them you are, for example, back at your friend’s house getting ready for bed, make sure that you are inside when you call them. If you are standing on a street or driving in a car, the background noise could give you away. You don’t have to be at the friend’s house who you claim to be with, but just be sure you are inside somewhere quiet.
If you must call them from a car while saying you are safe at a house, be sure to roll up the windows, turn off the music, and pull over if possible. That will reduce the possibility that they will hear a car honking or the sound of the moving car.
1-5. Keep items in your car to freshen up.
Having extra clothes, a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and perhaps some makeup in your car will allow you to freshen up and look presentable before seeing your parents again.
For example, if you want to go dancing in an outfit that your parents wouldn’t approve of, keep a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt in your car to change into. You can stuff the “inappropriate” clothes into your purse or backpack before you go back into your house.
1-6. Be careful about social media.
Even if you do everything right, one thoughtless Facebook post from a friend could blow your cover. Ask your friends not to tag you in any photos or “check-ins,” and be sure not to post anything about your whereabouts that you don’t want your family to know. Even if they aren’t friends with you, other family members or family friends may see the posts and inform your parents.
If you want to be able to post about things you do without your family knowing, consider making a private friends list with family members only. Then, when you post, you can choose to hide the post from those in that group.
2. Minimizing Your Parents’ Fears and Suspicions
2-1. Do your research in advance.
Depending on how elaborate your lie is, you may need to do some research to make sure you don’t get caught. The best option is always to keep the lie simple, such as “we’re going to the mall” or “I’m staying late after school to catch up with Nicholas!” No matter what your story is, be sure that it will hold up even if your parents do research.
For example, make sure that the mall is open when you say you’ll be there, and don’t say you’re staying at a friend’s house if your parents have that friend’s parents’ phone number.
2-2. Prove to your parents that you are a safe driver.
Let them ride in the car with you and show that you are a responsible driver. Doing this may help your parents to be less strict and to worry less when you are out.
If you don’t drive, then this step won’t apply to you. If you are having a friend pick you up, have them pick you up at school or at the end of your block instead of at your house.
2-3. Show your parents that you can make good choices.
While some parents are going to be strict no matter what, sometimes a parent just wants to know that you have a good head on your shoulders. You can build trust with your parents by coming home at your curfew, completing chores on time, getting good grades, and introducing your parents to your friends.
Another way to build trust is by talking with your parents about select personal issues, like a boy or girl that you like or a struggle you’re having with a friend. This can promote closeness and may make your parent give you a bit more freedom.
If you know your parents won't like your friend, then introducing them could backfire. Use your judgment to decide if introducing a friend to your parents would help you build trust.
2-4. Call your parents often.
Specifically, call your parents to check in when you arrive at a place that they can know about. This will ease their fears and help build trust. Tell them you’ll also call them when you’re on your way home. Try to avoid calling them when you are at the place where you’re not supposed to be. That way, you won’t be explicitly lying, and you reduce the chance of them hearing a background noise that doesn’t match where they think you are.
Give your parents an estimated time frame of how long you’ll be gone. When you tell them, be prepared to explain why what you’re doing will take a long time. For example, you could say, “Mike and I are getting dinner. It might be a few hours because he is going through some difficult stuff that he wants to talk about. Is it okay if I get home at ______? I’ll call you when I’m on my way home.”
Tips
Keep in mind that, while your parents may seem unreasonable and like they’re trying to hurt you, their rules are likely in place to keep you safe. Try and understand the reasoning behind your parents’ rules, and follow them if you can.
Warnings
Remember that lying can cause a lot of stress for both you and your parents. This is especially true if you tell multiple lies, or lie about big things like going somewhere for a whole night or weekend. Consider the consequences before lying to your parents, and decide if it is worth it.
If your parents catch you lying, they may not trust you again and may become even more strict.
If you use a friend as a scapegoat and get caught, remember that your parents may never like or trust that friend again. Think carefully about who you are going to involve in your secretive plans.
If you are going to be drinking or doing drugs while you are out, understand that alcohol and drugs impede your brain from communicating with your body. This makes your reaction time slower and makes it very dangerous to drive a car. Regardless of what you’re doing, avoid driving home if you have been drinking or on drugs. That will keep you and others safe, as well as prevent you from getting arrested. It will also save your parents the pain of losing you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Covering All Your Bases\\n1-1. Tell as much truth as you can.\\nYou will feel better and there is less of a chance of getting caught if you share part of the truth. For example, if you say that you're going to eat with one of your friends, actually do it. Then, since you’re already out, you can do the other secretive activity on the way to or from the restaurant.\\nTo avoid getting caught, try to make sure that your secret destination isn't more than 15 or so minutes away from where you're supposed to be. It would be very stressful to get stranded somewhere hours away and then have to explain to your parents why you were there.\\n1-2. Turn off the location services on your cell phone.\\nIf you and your parents have an app like Find my Friends, your parents will be able to see where you are. Be sure that, if you and your parents have this app, you disable your location settings before going on a secret mission.\\n1-3. Don’t answer the phone if there is background noise.\\nIf you are in a place with noise that will give away your whereabouts, let your parents’ call go to voicemail. Then, immediately text them and explain why you couldn’t answer. That way, they won’t worry because they are hearing from you, and you won’t have to lie directly about where you are.\\nIn your text, you could say something like, “Sorry I couldn’t answer! Jessie was telling me an important story, and I didn’t want to cut her off. I love you! I’ll call back soon!” This will give you time to relocate to a quieter area to call them back, or to head home.\\nIf your parents know this trick or get suspicious when you don’t answer calls, try to duck into a bathroom or quiet hallway to answer the call.\\n1-4. Avoid saying you’re inside if you are outside or driving.\\nIf you call your parents to tell them you are, for example, back at your friend’s house getting ready for bed, make sure that you are inside when you call them. If you are standing on a street or driving in a car, the background noise could give you away. You don’t have to be at the friend’s house who you claim to be with, but just be sure you are inside somewhere quiet.\\nIf you must call them from a car while saying you are safe at a house, be sure to roll up the windows, turn off the music, and pull over if possible. That will reduce the possibility that they will hear a car honking or the sound of the moving car.\\n1-5. Keep items in your car to freshen up.\\nHaving extra clothes, a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and perhaps some makeup in your car will allow you to freshen up and look presentable before seeing your parents again.\\nFor example, if you want to go dancing in an outfit that your parents wouldn’t approve of, keep a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt in your car to change into. You can stuff the “inappropriate” clothes into your purse or backpack before you go back into your house.\\n1-6. Be careful about social media.\\nEven if you do everything right, one thoughtless Facebook post from a friend could blow your cover. Ask your friends not to tag you in any photos or “check-ins,” and be sure not to post anything about your whereabouts that you don’t want your family to know. Even if they aren’t friends with you, other family members or family friends may see the posts and inform your parents.\\nIf you want to be able to post about things you do without your family knowing, consider making a private friends list with family members only. Then, when you post, you can choose to hide the post from those in that group.\\n2. Minimizing Your Parents’ Fears and Suspicions\\n2-1. Do your research in advance.\\nDepending on how elaborate your lie is, you may need to do some research to make sure you don’t get caught. The best option is always to keep the lie simple, such as “we’re going to the mall” or “I’m staying late after school to catch up with Nicholas!” No matter what your story is, be sure that it will hold up even if your parents do research.\\nFor example, make sure that the mall is open when you say you’ll be there, and don’t say you’re staying at a friend’s house if your parents have that friend’s parents’ phone number.\\n2-2. Prove to your parents that you are a safe driver.\\nLet them ride in the car with you and show that you are a responsible driver. Doing this may help your parents to be less strict and to worry less when you are out.\\nIf you don’t drive, then this step won’t apply to you. If you are having a friend pick you up, have them pick you up at school or at the end of your block instead of at your house.\\n2-3. Show your parents that you can make good choices.\\nWhile some parents are going to be strict no matter what, sometimes a parent just wants to know that you have a good head on your shoulders. You can build trust with your parents by coming home at your curfew, completing chores on time, getting good grades, and introducing your parents to your friends.\\nAnother way to build trust is by talking with your parents about select personal issues, like a boy or girl that you like or a struggle you’re having with a friend. This can promote closeness and may make your parent give you a bit more freedom.\\nIf you know your parents won't like your friend, then introducing them could backfire. Use your judgment to decide if introducing a friend to your parents would help you build trust.\\n2-4. Call your parents often.\\nSpecifically, call your parents to check in when you arrive at a place that they can know about. This will ease their fears and help build trust. Tell them you’ll also call them when you’re on your way home. Try to avoid calling them when you are at the place where you’re not supposed to be. That way, you won’t be explicitly lying, and you reduce the chance of them hearing a background noise that doesn’t match where they think you are.\\nGive your parents an estimated time frame of how long you’ll be gone. When you tell them, be prepared to explain why what you’re doing will take a long time. For example, you could say, “Mike and I are getting dinner. It might be a few hours because he is going through some difficult stuff that he wants to talk about. Is it okay if I get home at ______? I’ll call you when I’m on my way home.”\\nTips\\nKeep in mind that, while your parents may seem unreasonable and like they’re trying to hurt you, their rules are likely in place to keep you safe. Try and understand the reasoning behind your parents’ rules, and follow them if you can.\\nWarnings\\nRemember that lying can cause a lot of stress for both you and your parents. This is especially true if you tell multiple lies, or lie about big things like going somewhere for a whole night or weekend. Consider the consequences before lying to your parents, and decide if it is worth it.\\nIf your parents catch you lying, they may not trust you again and may become even more strict.\\nIf you use a friend as a scapegoat and get caught, remember that your parents may never like or trust that friend again. Think carefully about who you are going to involve in your secretive plans.\\nIf you are going to be drinking or doing drugs while you are out, understand that alcohol and drugs impede your brain from communicating with your body. This makes your reaction time slower and makes it very dangerous to drive a car. Regardless of what you’re doing, avoid driving home if you have been drinking or on drugs. That will keep you and others safe, as well as prevent you from getting arrested. It will also save your parents the pain of losing you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes you may really want to go somewhere, like to a concert, a party, or your crush's house, without your parents finding out. If you ask for their permission, they may ask too many questions or simply say no. Instead, you'll have to be secretive about it. To make sure they don't find out, you'll need to be really careful about when you contact them, give as much information as you can to minimize their suspicions, and most importantly, cover all your bases!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Covering All Your Bases\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell as much truth as you can.\", \"描述\": \"You will feel better and there is less of a chance of getting caught if you share part of the truth. For example, if you say that you're going to eat with one of your friends, actually do it. Then, since you’re already out, you can do the other secretive activity on the way to or from the restaurant.\\nTo avoid getting caught, try to make sure that your secret destination isn't more than 15 or so minutes away from where you're supposed to be. It would be very stressful to get stranded somewhere hours away and then have to explain to your parents why you were there.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turn off the location services on your cell phone.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your parents have an app like Find my Friends, your parents will be able to see where you are. Be sure that, if you and your parents have this app, you disable your location settings before going on a secret mission.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t answer the phone if there is background noise.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in a place with noise that will give away your whereabouts, let your parents’ call go to voicemail. Then, immediately text them and explain why you couldn’t answer. That way, they won’t worry because they are hearing from you, and you won’t have to lie directly about where you are.\\nIn your text, you could say something like, “Sorry I couldn’t answer! Jessie was telling me an important story, and I didn’t want to cut her off. I love you! I’ll call back soon!” This will give you time to relocate to a quieter area to call them back, or to head home.\\nIf your parents know this trick or get suspicious when you don’t answer calls, try to duck into a bathroom or quiet hallway to answer the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid saying you’re inside if you are outside or driving.\", \"描述\": \"If you call your parents to tell them you are, for example, back at your friend’s house getting ready for bed, make sure that you are inside when you call them. If you are standing on a street or driving in a car, the background noise could give you away. You don’t have to be at the friend’s house who you claim to be with, but just be sure you are inside somewhere quiet.\\nIf you must call them from a car while saying you are safe at a house, be sure to roll up the windows, turn off the music, and pull over if possible. That will reduce the possibility that they will hear a car honking or the sound of the moving car.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep items in your car to freshen up.\", \"描述\": \"Having extra clothes, a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and perhaps some makeup in your car will allow you to freshen up and look presentable before seeing your parents again.\\nFor example, if you want to go dancing in an outfit that your parents wouldn’t approve of, keep a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt in your car to change into. You can stuff the “inappropriate” clothes into your purse or backpack before you go back into your house.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be careful about social media.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you do everything right, one thoughtless Facebook post from a friend could blow your cover. Ask your friends not to tag you in any photos or “check-ins,” and be sure not to post anything about your whereabouts that you don’t want your family to know. Even if they aren’t friends with you, other family members or family friends may see the posts and inform your parents.\\nIf you want to be able to post about things you do without your family knowing, consider making a private friends list with family members only. Then, when you post, you can choose to hide the post from those in that group.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Minimizing Your Parents’ Fears and Suspicions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your research in advance.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on how elaborate your lie is, you may need to do some research to make sure you don’t get caught. The best option is always to keep the lie simple, such as “we’re going to the mall” or “I’m staying late after school to catch up with Nicholas!” No matter what your story is, be sure that it will hold up even if your parents do research.\\nFor example, make sure that the mall is open when you say you’ll be there, and don’t say you’re staying at a friend’s house if your parents have that friend’s parents’ phone number.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prove to your parents that you are a safe driver.\", \"描述\": \"Let them ride in the car with you and show that you are a responsible driver. Doing this may help your parents to be less strict and to worry less when you are out.\\nIf you don’t drive, then this step won’t apply to you. If you are having a friend pick you up, have them pick you up at school or at the end of your block instead of at your house.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show your parents that you can make good choices.\", \"描述\": \"While some parents are going to be strict no matter what, sometimes a parent just wants to know that you have a good head on your shoulders. You can build trust with your parents by coming home at your curfew, completing chores on time, getting good grades, and introducing your parents to your friends.\\nAnother way to build trust is by talking with your parents about select personal issues, like a boy or girl that you like or a struggle you’re having with a friend. This can promote closeness and may make your parent give you a bit more freedom.\\nIf you know your parents won't like your friend, then introducing them could backfire. Use your judgment to decide if introducing a friend to your parents would help you build trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Call your parents often.\", \"描述\": \"Specifically, call your parents to check in when you arrive at a place that they can know about. This will ease their fears and help build trust. Tell them you’ll also call them when you’re on your way home. Try to avoid calling them when you are at the place where you’re not supposed to be. That way, you won’t be explicitly lying, and you reduce the chance of them hearing a background noise that doesn’t match where they think you are.\\nGive your parents an estimated time frame of how long you’ll be gone. When you tell them, be prepared to explain why what you’re doing will take a long time. For example, you could say, “Mike and I are getting dinner. It might be a few hours because he is going through some difficult stuff that he wants to talk about. Is it okay if I get home at ______? I’ll call you when I’m on my way home.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Keep in mind that, while your parents may seem unreasonable and like they’re trying to hurt you, their rules are likely in place to keep you safe. Try and understand the reasoning behind your parents’ rules, and follow them if you can.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Remember that lying can cause a lot of stress for both you and your parents. This is especially true if you tell multiple lies, or lie about big things like going somewhere for a whole night or weekend. Consider the consequences before lying to your parents, and decide if it is worth it.\\n\", \"If your parents catch you lying, they may not trust you again and may become even more strict.\\n\", \"If you use a friend as a scapegoat and get caught, remember that your parents may never like or trust that friend again. Think carefully about who you are going to involve in your secretive plans.\\n\", \"If you are going to be drinking or doing drugs while you are out, understand that alcohol and drugs impede your brain from communicating with your body. This makes your reaction time slower and makes it very dangerous to drive a car. Regardless of what you’re doing, avoid driving home if you have been drinking or on drugs. That will keep you and others safe, as well as prevent you from getting arrested. It will also save your parents the pain of losing you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,133 | How to Be Secure | 1. Practice mindfulness.
This can help you feel more secure in your relationships with others.
Mindfulness is the practice of observing your thoughts and feelings to cultivate an active awareness of yourself and your surroundings in the present moment. In turn, this can help you feel more overall satisfaction over time.
Try to breathe consciously. Take a slow inhalation while you count to five, hold your breath for five seconds, and exhale slowly for five seconds.
Focus on the present moment.
Any time your mind starts to wander, return your attention to the way your body feels and the sensory information around you.
Cultivating mindfulness takes a lot of practice and patience. Work at it every day, and over time you will feel happier, more secure, and more at peace.
2. Try reaching out to others.
Seeking emotional support from people you trust can create a huge sense of security.
Try making amends with a friend you've had a falling out with to restore that connection in your life, or practice asking for help/advice from the people closest to you for a renewed sense of community.
Reaching out to friends and rekindling an old friendship can help remind you that there are people in your life who love and care about you.
Having a heart-to-heart conversation with someone close to you can help strengthen your relationship with that person. Be sure to emphasize that you love and support your friend/partner/family member, and ask them to emphasize the same to you.
3. Get your emotional needs met.
Take an honest look at the relationships in your life.
Everyone has emotional needs that we strive to satisfy through romantic relationships, friendships, and familial relationships. Each type of bond offers a different kind of comfort, security, and acceptance. If you're feeling emotionally insecure, it could be that one or more of the primary relationships in your life are not meeting your emotional needs.
Take time to reflect on your relationships. Do you ever feel unloved or uncared for in those relationships? Do you feel secure with the people around you, or are you always a little insecure?
If you think one of the relationships in your life is causing you a sense of insecurity, try talking to that person about the way you feel. Decide what it is that person could do differently, and have an honest but loving conversation about your needs and how they can be better met.
4. Learn to trust others.
Many people feel emotionally insecure due to a lack of trust.
This may be because of past relationships or friendships that ended badly, or it could simply be a deep-seated fear of abandonment. Whatever your reason for feeling mistrustful, you need to recognize that you cannot go through life without trusting others. Just because something may have ended badly once (or even multiple times), it does not mean that every relationship or friendship will end the same way.
Ask yourself whether your mistrust of others stems from not trusting yourself. Many people unconsciously project their fears and negative emotions on other people. Is it possible that you don't trust your partner because you yourself have doubts?
Oftentimes, the heart of your mistrusting another person is a lack of trust in yourself to make wise decisions. If you want to be friends or lovers with someone, you'll need to decide whether you're willing to take the risk that you might get hurt. Believe in yourself and trust that you'll know what to do if such a situation arises.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others.
This is one of the most damaging things you can do to your sense of self.
This is true of physical comparisons, like looking at your body in comparison to actors/actresses/models in the media. But it's also true of intellectual comparisons, creative comparisons, and career comparisons.
Find your own style, and recognize your own beauty. You're a unique and wonderful individual, and comparing your life/body/career to others does a great disservice to yourself.
Remember that you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness, in that personal satisfaction and self-love have to come from within. Be kind to yourself, and try to respect yourself for who you are right now, not who you aspire to be in the future.
6. Identify and adjust negative core beliefs.
Negative core beliefs can really mess with your sense of self.
Some of these core beliefs develop early in life, but some develop (or can be adjusted) later in life. Your negative core beliefs are built from your negative life experiences, biased/unreasonable expectations, and negative self-evaluations.
Ask yourself whether your life experiences have led you to believe there is something "wrong" with you, then question what you are basing your sense of "normal" on.
Can you link a specific person, place, or event with any negative beliefs you hold about yourself? If so, why do you think that belief is an absolute truth based on the opinion of one person or the occasion of one negative event?
Ask yourself honestly, "Would I ever say the things I think about myself to someone else about their body, career, or lifestyle choices?" If you wouldn't say something hurtful to others, why say it to yourself?
Examine the evidence of your negative self-beliefs. What are those beliefs actually based on, and has anything remotely positive ever come out of holding on to those beliefs?
Create new opportunities for safe, healthy, and positive experiences that you have not previously had. Approach situations that you've previously avoided (so long as they are safe) and see challenges through to the end instead of abandoning your aspirations.
Do nice things for yourself that are safe, fun, and make you feel good about yourself.
Try being more assertive with the people in your life. Don't be bossy, but let your voice and your thoughts/opinions be heard.
7. Recognize and celebrate your strengths.
It can be easy to forget how talented, strong, and interesting you are as an individual.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, it is probably even more difficult to remember your strengths. Take a few minutes each day to practice self-awareness of your personal strengths, and try journaling to see how your self-esteem changes as you take more time to celebrate yourself.
Make a list of your strengths. Then make another list of your achievements. Make a third list of qualities/characteristics you admire in others that are also present (to any degree) in yourself. Read through these lists on a regular basis, and try writing a new set of lists every few weeks. Keep your old lists and compare them after a few months to see if anything has changed.
Ask a close friend, family member, or romantic partner to make a written list of your best attributes. Ask them to write about why they care about you, what makes you the unique person that you are, and what you do better than anyone else. Keep this list with you at all times (in your wallet or purse, perhaps) and read through it whenever you feel bad about yourself.
8. Take good care of yourself.
Your insecurity could stem from a lack of self-care.
Everyone has emotional and physical needs, and if those needs aren't met, we tend to feel pretty bad. Take good care of yourself on a day-to-day basis, and odds are you'll feel significantly better in your skin.
Spend some time each day on your personal hygiene. Make sure you brush and floss your teeth each day, shower or bathe, style your hair, shave, and trim your nails.
Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. Make sure you are getting enough vitamins and nutrients, and avoid junk food.
Get more exercise. Find ways to get a little bit of exercise every day, like walking or riding your bike on your errands instead of driving. In addition to your day-to-day walking or bicycle riding, aim for a more vigorous cardio workout three times each week.
Dress in clothing that makes you feel good about your body. Whether you feel more comfortable in slim, form-fitting clothes or baggier, looser clothes, figure out what you're most comfortable and confident in and try to wear those confidence clothes as often as possible.
Make sure you get enough sleep. Depending on your age, most adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep each night.
9. Develop SMART goals.
A good way to feel more secure and confident with yourself is by accomplishing your goals.
Many people feel troubled when they cannot achieve their goals, but instead of beating yourself up, consider whether your goals are achievable or even measurable. Experts tend to agree that developing S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-focused, and Time-bound) can help you make meaningful goals that will give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Specific - be clear and simple in defining what, precisely, it is that you want to do.
Measurable - create goals that have some metric of measurement. The only way you'll ever know that you're making real progress towards your goal is if you have a way of measuring that progress.
Achievable - your goals should challenge you a little bit, but should ultimately be something you can realistically accomplish.
Results-focused - the way you measure your progress should be by your outcomes, not just your activities. Don't measure progress by simply working at your goal. Measure progress by how much you've accomplished on the way to meeting your ultimate goal. Take stock in the "little" victories along the way.
Time-bound - give yourself a realistic timeframe. Don't expect results overnight, but don't give yourself a year to get around to putting in some effort. Decide what a reasonable, realistic date of completion should be and hold yourself to that deadline.
10. Forgive yourself and others.
Forgiveness can help you have a more secure sense of self.
Odds are if you've lived any time in this world, you've hurt someone, and someone else has hurt you. These offenses may be intentional or accidental, but many people have a hard time letting these incidents go from their memory. However, playing a scenario you regret over and over in your mind will never undo what's been done. It will only torture you and make you feel worse about yourself and others.
Remember that mistakes offer you an occasion to grow. You may have hurt others or been hurt, but the important thing is that you learned from your mistakes, and others who hurt you have also learned from their own errors.
Instead of dwelling on things you wish you'd done differently, acknowledge what you would like to do differently now. The present moment is the only time you can change, because the past cannot be altered and the future does not yet exist.
Focus in this moment on how you can be the best version of yourself, and find ways to make that version of yourself a reality.
11. Find things to be grateful for.
Practicing gratitude is a great way to feel more secure.
Take some time each day to reflect on the people and circumstances that have made your life what it is today. Obviously, not everyone/everything has been good all the time, but chances are you've had some pretty amazing events in your life, and you've probably met a lot of inspiring, loving people. Try to remember that you would not be who you are today if others had not shown you love, and if you hadn't been born into the circumstances you were given.
No one's life is perfect all the time. In fact, many people struggle their whole lives. No matter how difficult your life might be, try to remember that there are others who have it worse, and those people probably admire your life.
Be grateful for the people who have shown you love and taught you how to love. Think about how sad and lonely life could be if not for the love others have shown you, at least at some point in your life.
Try to appreciate the little things in life. Watch the sun rise or set each day, and take stock of the fact that you've lived to see another day - there are a lot of people who cannot say the same thing about this present day.
12. Assess your current financial situation.
Financial security begins with a thorough and honest evaluation.
This starts with examining your finances, including your savings and your expenses.
Take note of your income, as well as your savings (if any).
Track your daily, weekly, and monthly expenses. Carry a small notebook in your pocket or purse and write down every single expense. That includes things you buy, bills you pay, and the dates/times those expenses were incurred. You should also make a note of how you were feeling when you made any purchases.
Examine your spending patterns. Do you tend to buy things for yourself when you're feeling sad or stressed out? Are there any purchases that you made on a whim when you didn't really need that item, or could have found it cheaper somewhere else?
Make sure you are not spending more than you earn. This will quickly put you in debt, and it will be hard to recover your finances once you're in the red.
Find ways to reduce expenses. You don't need to deprive yourself of every single thing that makes you happy, but you also need to set limits and boundaries for yourself. Don't go on shopping sprees whenever you feel like it, and don't make useless purchases that you don't really need.
13. Cut back on expenses.
Careful money management is the key to financial security.
Some expenses, like rent, utilities, and groceries, are unavoidable. But even with these essential expenses, you can find ways to spend less by shopping smart and avoiding unnecessary expenditures.
Any time you go grocery shopping, bring a shopping list and stick to it.
Whenever possible, buy items that are on sale, generic/off-brand, or in bulk. This can save a lot of money and will give you the same essential product, but at a fraction of the price.
Try to buy things second-hand whenever possible.
Compare prices before you buy. If you look around at advertisements, both online and in the newspaper, chances are you'll be able to find the exact same product at a lower cost somewhere else.
Prepare meals at home. Avoid eating out as much as possible, and bring a bagged lunch and thermos of coffee to work everyday. This will help save a lot of money, and you can apply that money to other expenses or to a savings account.
Seek out free or low-cost entertainment. You can find a lot of movies online for free or for relatively low costs (through legal streaming websites), or visit the library and borrow books, CDs, and movies for free.
Adjust your thermostat during the day when you're not home, and at night when you're asleep. Try to only run your heat or air conditioner the most when you're at home and awake. (However, if you have any pets at home, remember that they need a comfortable temperature during the day and night, even if you're not home.)
Don't buy things on credit, or with a credit card. Save up until you can afford your purchases and you'll avoid a lot of stress (and debt) in the process.
14. Increase your income.
If you're working part-time, try getting a second part-time job, or finding one full-time job.
Even if you're working full-time, you can still find odd jobs to make a little extra cash on the side. And if you're getting by with your bills on your current job, your side job can be devoted to your savings account!
Look at the help wanted section in newspapers or on job listing websites.
Find easy side jobs that won't interfere with your work schedule. Odds are you'll be able to find listings for dog walkers, babysitters, or even freelance work on the side.
15. Start a savings account.
A savings account can help you reach long-term financial security.
It's okay if it takes you a while to save up money. It takes a lot of planning and hard work for most people, but the reward of financial security is well worth it. A good way to start saving is by opening a savings account. You can start out small - say, by setting aside $20 every month or every paycheck. Over time, that weekly or monthly deposit adds up to a pretty substantial savings.
Many financial institutions let you set up an automatic transfer so that a portion of your paycheck is automatically deposited into your savings account.
Some banks offer a "Keep the Change" (or similar) program, in which small debit/checking purchases are rounded up to the nearest dollar and the change is deposited into your savings account. This is a quick and easy way to build up your savings without even really noticing it.
Try to avoid dipping into your savings unless it's an absolute emergency. If you can put off any purchases until after you receive your next paycheck, hold off and leave your savings untouched.
Tips
Never allow anyone to bring you down.
If you feel like life's too much to handle sometimes, don't bottle it up - vent it. Write about it on paper, talk to a friend, or visit a trained counselor.
Get enough sleep, eat a proper diet, and get adequate exercise. Self care is the first step towards feeling better and more secure in your life.
Warnings
If your insecurities feel overwhelming and you feel like you can't handle it, ask for help. Talk to a therapist about ways to manage your stress and work towards a healthier, more secure sense of self.
Having a negative self-image can be very damaging to yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practice mindfulness.\\nThis can help you feel more secure in your relationships with others.\\nMindfulness is the practice of observing your thoughts and feelings to cultivate an active awareness of yourself and your surroundings in the present moment. In turn, this can help you feel more overall satisfaction over time.\\nTry to breathe consciously. Take a slow inhalation while you count to five, hold your breath for five seconds, and exhale slowly for five seconds.\\nFocus on the present moment.\\nAny time your mind starts to wander, return your attention to the way your body feels and the sensory information around you.\\nCultivating mindfulness takes a lot of practice and patience. Work at it every day, and over time you will feel happier, more secure, and more at peace.\\n2. Try reaching out to others.\\nSeeking emotional support from people you trust can create a huge sense of security.\\nTry making amends with a friend you've had a falling out with to restore that connection in your life, or practice asking for help/advice from the people closest to you for a renewed sense of community.\\nReaching out to friends and rekindling an old friendship can help remind you that there are people in your life who love and care about you.\\nHaving a heart-to-heart conversation with someone close to you can help strengthen your relationship with that person. Be sure to emphasize that you love and support your friend/partner/family member, and ask them to emphasize the same to you.\\n3. Get your emotional needs met.\\nTake an honest look at the relationships in your life.\\nEveryone has emotional needs that we strive to satisfy through romantic relationships, friendships, and familial relationships. Each type of bond offers a different kind of comfort, security, and acceptance. If you're feeling emotionally insecure, it could be that one or more of the primary relationships in your life are not meeting your emotional needs.\\nTake time to reflect on your relationships. Do you ever feel unloved or uncared for in those relationships? Do you feel secure with the people around you, or are you always a little insecure?\\nIf you think one of the relationships in your life is causing you a sense of insecurity, try talking to that person about the way you feel. Decide what it is that person could do differently, and have an honest but loving conversation about your needs and how they can be better met.\\n4. Learn to trust others.\\nMany people feel emotionally insecure due to a lack of trust.\\nThis may be because of past relationships or friendships that ended badly, or it could simply be a deep-seated fear of abandonment. Whatever your reason for feeling mistrustful, you need to recognize that you cannot go through life without trusting others. Just because something may have ended badly once (or even multiple times), it does not mean that every relationship or friendship will end the same way.\\nAsk yourself whether your mistrust of others stems from not trusting yourself. Many people unconsciously project their fears and negative emotions on other people. Is it possible that you don't trust your partner because you yourself have doubts?\\nOftentimes, the heart of your mistrusting another person is a lack of trust in yourself to make wise decisions. If you want to be friends or lovers with someone, you'll need to decide whether you're willing to take the risk that you might get hurt. Believe in yourself and trust that you'll know what to do if such a situation arises.\\n5. Stop comparing yourself to others.\\nThis is one of the most damaging things you can do to your sense of self.\\nThis is true of physical comparisons, like looking at your body in comparison to actors/actresses/models in the media. But it's also true of intellectual comparisons, creative comparisons, and career comparisons.\\nFind your own style, and recognize your own beauty. You're a unique and wonderful individual, and comparing your life/body/career to others does a great disservice to yourself.\\nRemember that you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness, in that personal satisfaction and self-love have to come from within. Be kind to yourself, and try to respect yourself for who you are right now, not who you aspire to be in the future.\\n6. Identify and adjust negative core beliefs.\\nNegative core beliefs can really mess with your sense of self.\\nSome of these core beliefs develop early in life, but some develop (or can be adjusted) later in life. Your negative core beliefs are built from your negative life experiences, biased/unreasonable expectations, and negative self-evaluations.\\nAsk yourself whether your life experiences have led you to believe there is something \\\"wrong\\\" with you, then question what you are basing your sense of \\\"normal\\\" on.\\nCan you link a specific person, place, or event with any negative beliefs you hold about yourself? If so, why do you think that belief is an absolute truth based on the opinion of one person or the occasion of one negative event?\\nAsk yourself honestly, \\\"Would I ever say the things I think about myself to someone else about their body, career, or lifestyle choices?\\\" If you wouldn't say something hurtful to others, why say it to yourself?\\nExamine the evidence of your negative self-beliefs. What are those beliefs actually based on, and has anything remotely positive ever come out of holding on to those beliefs?\\nCreate new opportunities for safe, healthy, and positive experiences that you have not previously had. Approach situations that you've previously avoided (so long as they are safe) and see challenges through to the end instead of abandoning your aspirations.\\nDo nice things for yourself that are safe, fun, and make you feel good about yourself.\\nTry being more assertive with the people in your life. Don't be bossy, but let your voice and your thoughts/opinions be heard.\\n7. Recognize and celebrate your strengths.\\nIt can be easy to forget how talented, strong, and interesting you are as an individual.\\nIf you suffer from low self-esteem, it is probably even more difficult to remember your strengths. Take a few minutes each day to practice self-awareness of your personal strengths, and try journaling to see how your self-esteem changes as you take more time to celebrate yourself.\\nMake a list of your strengths. Then make another list of your achievements. Make a third list of qualities/characteristics you admire in others that are also present (to any degree) in yourself. Read through these lists on a regular basis, and try writing a new set of lists every few weeks. Keep your old lists and compare them after a few months to see if anything has changed.\\nAsk a close friend, family member, or romantic partner to make a written list of your best attributes. Ask them to write about why they care about you, what makes you the unique person that you are, and what you do better than anyone else. Keep this list with you at all times (in your wallet or purse, perhaps) and read through it whenever you feel bad about yourself.\\n8. Take good care of yourself.\\nYour insecurity could stem from a lack of self-care.\\nEveryone has emotional and physical needs, and if those needs aren't met, we tend to feel pretty bad. Take good care of yourself on a day-to-day basis, and odds are you'll feel significantly better in your skin.\\nSpend some time each day on your personal hygiene. Make sure you brush and floss your teeth each day, shower or bathe, style your hair, shave, and trim your nails.\\nEat a healthy, well-balanced diet. Make sure you are getting enough vitamins and nutrients, and avoid junk food.\\nGet more exercise. Find ways to get a little bit of exercise every day, like walking or riding your bike on your errands instead of driving. In addition to your day-to-day walking or bicycle riding, aim for a more vigorous cardio workout three times each week.\\nDress in clothing that makes you feel good about your body. Whether you feel more comfortable in slim, form-fitting clothes or baggier, looser clothes, figure out what you're most comfortable and confident in and try to wear those confidence clothes as often as possible.\\nMake sure you get enough sleep. Depending on your age, most adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep each night.\\n9. Develop SMART goals.\\nA good way to feel more secure and confident with yourself is by accomplishing your goals.\\nMany people feel troubled when they cannot achieve their goals, but instead of beating yourself up, consider whether your goals are achievable or even measurable. Experts tend to agree that developing S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-focused, and Time-bound) can help you make meaningful goals that will give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment.\\nSpecific - be clear and simple in defining what, precisely, it is that you want to do.\\nMeasurable - create goals that have some metric of measurement. The only way you'll ever know that you're making real progress towards your goal is if you have a way of measuring that progress.\\nAchievable - your goals should challenge you a little bit, but should ultimately be something you can realistically accomplish.\\nResults-focused - the way you measure your progress should be by your outcomes, not just your activities. Don't measure progress by simply working at your goal. Measure progress by how much you've accomplished on the way to meeting your ultimate goal. Take stock in the \\\"little\\\" victories along the way.\\nTime-bound - give yourself a realistic timeframe. Don't expect results overnight, but don't give yourself a year to get around to putting in some effort. Decide what a reasonable, realistic date of completion should be and hold yourself to that deadline.\\n10. Forgive yourself and others.\\nForgiveness can help you have a more secure sense of self.\\nOdds are if you've lived any time in this world, you've hurt someone, and someone else has hurt you. These offenses may be intentional or accidental, but many people have a hard time letting these incidents go from their memory. However, playing a scenario you regret over and over in your mind will never undo what's been done. It will only torture you and make you feel worse about yourself and others.\\nRemember that mistakes offer you an occasion to grow. You may have hurt others or been hurt, but the important thing is that you learned from your mistakes, and others who hurt you have also learned from their own errors.\\nInstead of dwelling on things you wish you'd done differently, acknowledge what you would like to do differently now. The present moment is the only time you can change, because the past cannot be altered and the future does not yet exist.\\nFocus in this moment on how you can be the best version of yourself, and find ways to make that version of yourself a reality.\\n11. Find things to be grateful for.\\nPracticing gratitude is a great way to feel more secure.\\nTake some time each day to reflect on the people and circumstances that have made your life what it is today. Obviously, not everyone/everything has been good all the time, but chances are you've had some pretty amazing events in your life, and you've probably met a lot of inspiring, loving people. Try to remember that you would not be who you are today if others had not shown you love, and if you hadn't been born into the circumstances you were given.\\nNo one's life is perfect all the time. In fact, many people struggle their whole lives. No matter how difficult your life might be, try to remember that there are others who have it worse, and those people probably admire your life.\\nBe grateful for the people who have shown you love and taught you how to love. Think about how sad and lonely life could be if not for the love others have shown you, at least at some point in your life.\\nTry to appreciate the little things in life. Watch the sun rise or set each day, and take stock of the fact that you've lived to see another day - there are a lot of people who cannot say the same thing about this present day.\\n12. Assess your current financial situation.\\nFinancial security begins with a thorough and honest evaluation.\\nThis starts with examining your finances, including your savings and your expenses.\\nTake note of your income, as well as your savings (if any).\\nTrack your daily, weekly, and monthly expenses. Carry a small notebook in your pocket or purse and write down every single expense. That includes things you buy, bills you pay, and the dates/times those expenses were incurred. You should also make a note of how you were feeling when you made any purchases.\\nExamine your spending patterns. Do you tend to buy things for yourself when you're feeling sad or stressed out? Are there any purchases that you made on a whim when you didn't really need that item, or could have found it cheaper somewhere else?\\nMake sure you are not spending more than you earn. This will quickly put you in debt, and it will be hard to recover your finances once you're in the red.\\nFind ways to reduce expenses. You don't need to deprive yourself of every single thing that makes you happy, but you also need to set limits and boundaries for yourself. Don't go on shopping sprees whenever you feel like it, and don't make useless purchases that you don't really need.\\n13. Cut back on expenses.\\nCareful money management is the key to financial security.\\nSome expenses, like rent, utilities, and groceries, are unavoidable. But even with these essential expenses, you can find ways to spend less by shopping smart and avoiding unnecessary expenditures.\\nAny time you go grocery shopping, bring a shopping list and stick to it.\\nWhenever possible, buy items that are on sale, generic/off-brand, or in bulk. This can save a lot of money and will give you the same essential product, but at a fraction of the price.\\nTry to buy things second-hand whenever possible.\\nCompare prices before you buy. If you look around at advertisements, both online and in the newspaper, chances are you'll be able to find the exact same product at a lower cost somewhere else.\\nPrepare meals at home. Avoid eating out as much as possible, and bring a bagged lunch and thermos of coffee to work everyday. This will help save a lot of money, and you can apply that money to other expenses or to a savings account.\\nSeek out free or low-cost entertainment. You can find a lot of movies online for free or for relatively low costs (through legal streaming websites), or visit the library and borrow books, CDs, and movies for free.\\nAdjust your thermostat during the day when you're not home, and at night when you're asleep. Try to only run your heat or air conditioner the most when you're at home and awake. (However, if you have any pets at home, remember that they need a comfortable temperature during the day and night, even if you're not home.)\\nDon't buy things on credit, or with a credit card. Save up until you can afford your purchases and you'll avoid a lot of stress (and debt) in the process.\\n14. Increase your income.\\nIf you're working part-time, try getting a second part-time job, or finding one full-time job.\\nEven if you're working full-time, you can still find odd jobs to make a little extra cash on the side. And if you're getting by with your bills on your current job, your side job can be devoted to your savings account!\\nLook at the help wanted section in newspapers or on job listing websites.\\nFind easy side jobs that won't interfere with your work schedule. Odds are you'll be able to find listings for dog walkers, babysitters, or even freelance work on the side.\\n15. Start a savings account.\\nA savings account can help you reach long-term financial security.\\nIt's okay if it takes you a while to save up money. It takes a lot of planning and hard work for most people, but the reward of financial security is well worth it. A good way to start saving is by opening a savings account. You can start out small - say, by setting aside $20 every month or every paycheck. Over time, that weekly or monthly deposit adds up to a pretty substantial savings.\\nMany financial institutions let you set up an automatic transfer so that a portion of your paycheck is automatically deposited into your savings account.\\nSome banks offer a \\\"Keep the Change\\\" (or similar) program, in which small debit/checking purchases are rounded up to the nearest dollar and the change is deposited into your savings account. This is a quick and easy way to build up your savings without even really noticing it.\\nTry to avoid dipping into your savings unless it's an absolute emergency. If you can put off any purchases until after you receive your next paycheck, hold off and leave your savings untouched.\\nTips\\nNever allow anyone to bring you down.\\nIf you feel like life's too much to handle sometimes, don't bottle it up - vent it. Write about it on paper, talk to a friend, or visit a trained counselor.\\nGet enough sleep, eat a proper diet, and get adequate exercise. Self care is the first step towards feeling better and more secure in your life.\\nWarnings\\nIf your insecurities feel overwhelming and you feel like you can't handle it, ask for help. Talk to a therapist about ways to manage your stress and work towards a healthier, more secure sense of self.\\nHaving a negative self-image can be very damaging to yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many of the decisions you make, both consciously and unconsciously, affect your sense of security. But how can you be sure that you’re heading in the right direction? Not to worry—we’re here to help. Keep reading for plenty of tips on how to boost your emotional security, develop a strong sense of self, and feel financially secure.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice mindfulness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This can help you feel more secure in your relationships with others.\", \"描述\": \"Mindfulness is the practice of observing your thoughts and feelings to cultivate an active awareness of yourself and your surroundings in the present moment. In turn, this can help you feel more overall satisfaction over time.\\nTry to breathe consciously. Take a slow inhalation while you count to five, hold your breath for five seconds, and exhale slowly for five seconds.\\nFocus on the present moment.\\nAny time your mind starts to wander, return your attention to the way your body feels and the sensory information around you.\\nCultivating mindfulness takes a lot of practice and patience. Work at it every day, and over time you will feel happier, more secure, and more at peace.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try reaching out to others.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Seeking emotional support from people you trust can create a huge sense of security.\", \"描述\": \"Try making amends with a friend you've had a falling out with to restore that connection in your life, or practice asking for help/advice from the people closest to you for a renewed sense of community.\\nReaching out to friends and rekindling an old friendship can help remind you that there are people in your life who love and care about you.\\nHaving a heart-to-heart conversation with someone close to you can help strengthen your relationship with that person. Be sure to emphasize that you love and support your friend/partner/family member, and ask them to emphasize the same to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get your emotional needs met.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take an honest look at the relationships in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has emotional needs that we strive to satisfy through romantic relationships, friendships, and familial relationships. Each type of bond offers a different kind of comfort, security, and acceptance. If you're feeling emotionally insecure, it could be that one or more of the primary relationships in your life are not meeting your emotional needs.\\nTake time to reflect on your relationships. Do you ever feel unloved or uncared for in those relationships? Do you feel secure with the people around you, or are you always a little insecure?\\nIf you think one of the relationships in your life is causing you a sense of insecurity, try talking to that person about the way you feel. Decide what it is that person could do differently, and have an honest but loving conversation about your needs and how they can be better met.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to trust others.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Many people feel emotionally insecure due to a lack of trust.\", \"描述\": \"This may be because of past relationships or friendships that ended badly, or it could simply be a deep-seated fear of abandonment. Whatever your reason for feeling mistrustful, you need to recognize that you cannot go through life without trusting others. Just because something may have ended badly once (or even multiple times), it does not mean that every relationship or friendship will end the same way.\\nAsk yourself whether your mistrust of others stems from not trusting yourself. Many people unconsciously project their fears and negative emotions on other people. Is it possible that you don't trust your partner because you yourself have doubts?\\nOftentimes, the heart of your mistrusting another person is a lack of trust in yourself to make wise decisions. If you want to be friends or lovers with someone, you'll need to decide whether you're willing to take the risk that you might get hurt. Believe in yourself and trust that you'll know what to do if such a situation arises.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop comparing yourself to others.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is one of the most damaging things you can do to your sense of self.\", \"描述\": \"This is true of physical comparisons, like looking at your body in comparison to actors/actresses/models in the media. But it's also true of intellectual comparisons, creative comparisons, and career comparisons.\\nFind your own style, and recognize your own beauty. You're a unique and wonderful individual, and comparing your life/body/career to others does a great disservice to yourself.\\nRemember that you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness, in that personal satisfaction and self-love have to come from within. Be kind to yourself, and try to respect yourself for who you are right now, not who you aspire to be in the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Identify and adjust negative core beliefs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Negative core beliefs can really mess with your sense of self.\", \"描述\": \"Some of these core beliefs develop early in life, but some develop (or can be adjusted) later in life. Your negative core beliefs are built from your negative life experiences, biased/unreasonable expectations, and negative self-evaluations.\\nAsk yourself whether your life experiences have led you to believe there is something \\\"wrong\\\" with you, then question what you are basing your sense of \\\"normal\\\" on.\\nCan you link a specific person, place, or event with any negative beliefs you hold about yourself? If so, why do you think that belief is an absolute truth based on the opinion of one person or the occasion of one negative event?\\nAsk yourself honestly, \\\"Would I ever say the things I think about myself to someone else about their body, career, or lifestyle choices?\\\" If you wouldn't say something hurtful to others, why say it to yourself?\\nExamine the evidence of your negative self-beliefs. What are those beliefs actually based on, and has anything remotely positive ever come out of holding on to those beliefs?\\nCreate new opportunities for safe, healthy, and positive experiences that you have not previously had. Approach situations that you've previously avoided (so long as they are safe) and see challenges through to the end instead of abandoning your aspirations.\\nDo nice things for yourself that are safe, fun, and make you feel good about yourself.\\nTry being more assertive with the people in your life. Don't be bossy, but let your voice and your thoughts/opinions be heard.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Recognize and celebrate your strengths.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It can be easy to forget how talented, strong, and interesting you are as an individual.\", \"描述\": \"If you suffer from low self-esteem, it is probably even more difficult to remember your strengths. Take a few minutes each day to practice self-awareness of your personal strengths, and try journaling to see how your self-esteem changes as you take more time to celebrate yourself.\\nMake a list of your strengths. Then make another list of your achievements. Make a third list of qualities/characteristics you admire in others that are also present (to any degree) in yourself. Read through these lists on a regular basis, and try writing a new set of lists every few weeks. Keep your old lists and compare them after a few months to see if anything has changed.\\nAsk a close friend, family member, or romantic partner to make a written list of your best attributes. Ask them to write about why they care about you, what makes you the unique person that you are, and what you do better than anyone else. Keep this list with you at all times (in your wallet or purse, perhaps) and read through it whenever you feel bad about yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take good care of yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your insecurity could stem from a lack of self-care.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has emotional and physical needs, and if those needs aren't met, we tend to feel pretty bad. Take good care of yourself on a day-to-day basis, and odds are you'll feel significantly better in your skin.\\nSpend some time each day on your personal hygiene. Make sure you brush and floss your teeth each day, shower or bathe, style your hair, shave, and trim your nails.\\nEat a healthy, well-balanced diet. Make sure you are getting enough vitamins and nutrients, and avoid junk food.\\nGet more exercise. Find ways to get a little bit of exercise every day, like walking or riding your bike on your errands instead of driving. In addition to your day-to-day walking or bicycle riding, aim for a more vigorous cardio workout three times each week.\\nDress in clothing that makes you feel good about your body. Whether you feel more comfortable in slim, form-fitting clothes or baggier, looser clothes, figure out what you're most comfortable and confident in and try to wear those confidence clothes as often as possible.\\nMake sure you get enough sleep. Depending on your age, most adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep each night.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Develop SMART goals.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A good way to feel more secure and confident with yourself is by accomplishing your goals.\", \"描述\": \"Many people feel troubled when they cannot achieve their goals, but instead of beating yourself up, consider whether your goals are achievable or even measurable. Experts tend to agree that developing S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-focused, and Time-bound) can help you make meaningful goals that will give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment.\\nSpecific - be clear and simple in defining what, precisely, it is that you want to do.\\nMeasurable - create goals that have some metric of measurement. The only way you'll ever know that you're making real progress towards your goal is if you have a way of measuring that progress.\\nAchievable - your goals should challenge you a little bit, but should ultimately be something you can realistically accomplish.\\nResults-focused - the way you measure your progress should be by your outcomes, not just your activities. Don't measure progress by simply working at your goal. Measure progress by how much you've accomplished on the way to meeting your ultimate goal. Take stock in the \\\"little\\\" victories along the way.\\nTime-bound - give yourself a realistic timeframe. Don't expect results overnight, but don't give yourself a year to get around to putting in some effort. Decide what a reasonable, realistic date of completion should be and hold yourself to that deadline.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself and others.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Forgiveness can help you have a more secure sense of self.\", \"描述\": \"Odds are if you've lived any time in this world, you've hurt someone, and someone else has hurt you. These offenses may be intentional or accidental, but many people have a hard time letting these incidents go from their memory. However, playing a scenario you regret over and over in your mind will never undo what's been done. It will only torture you and make you feel worse about yourself and others.\\nRemember that mistakes offer you an occasion to grow. You may have hurt others or been hurt, but the important thing is that you learned from your mistakes, and others who hurt you have also learned from their own errors.\\nInstead of dwelling on things you wish you'd done differently, acknowledge what you would like to do differently now. The present moment is the only time you can change, because the past cannot be altered and the future does not yet exist.\\nFocus in this moment on how you can be the best version of yourself, and find ways to make that version of yourself a reality.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Find things to be grateful for.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing gratitude is a great way to feel more secure.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time each day to reflect on the people and circumstances that have made your life what it is today. Obviously, not everyone/everything has been good all the time, but chances are you've had some pretty amazing events in your life, and you've probably met a lot of inspiring, loving people. Try to remember that you would not be who you are today if others had not shown you love, and if you hadn't been born into the circumstances you were given.\\nNo one's life is perfect all the time. In fact, many people struggle their whole lives. No matter how difficult your life might be, try to remember that there are others who have it worse, and those people probably admire your life.\\nBe grateful for the people who have shown you love and taught you how to love. Think about how sad and lonely life could be if not for the love others have shown you, at least at some point in your life.\\nTry to appreciate the little things in life. Watch the sun rise or set each day, and take stock of the fact that you've lived to see another day - there are a lot of people who cannot say the same thing about this present day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Assess your current financial situation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Financial security begins with a thorough and honest evaluation.\", \"描述\": \"This starts with examining your finances, including your savings and your expenses.\\nTake note of your income, as well as your savings (if any).\\nTrack your daily, weekly, and monthly expenses. Carry a small notebook in your pocket or purse and write down every single expense. That includes things you buy, bills you pay, and the dates/times those expenses were incurred. You should also make a note of how you were feeling when you made any purchases.\\nExamine your spending patterns. Do you tend to buy things for yourself when you're feeling sad or stressed out? Are there any purchases that you made on a whim when you didn't really need that item, or could have found it cheaper somewhere else?\\nMake sure you are not spending more than you earn. This will quickly put you in debt, and it will be hard to recover your finances once you're in the red.\\nFind ways to reduce expenses. You don't need to deprive yourself of every single thing that makes you happy, but you also need to set limits and boundaries for yourself. Don't go on shopping sprees whenever you feel like it, and don't make useless purchases that you don't really need.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Cut back on expenses.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Careful money management is the key to financial security.\", \"描述\": \"Some expenses, like rent, utilities, and groceries, are unavoidable. But even with these essential expenses, you can find ways to spend less by shopping smart and avoiding unnecessary expenditures.\\nAny time you go grocery shopping, bring a shopping list and stick to it.\\nWhenever possible, buy items that are on sale, generic/off-brand, or in bulk. This can save a lot of money and will give you the same essential product, but at a fraction of the price.\\nTry to buy things second-hand whenever possible.\\nCompare prices before you buy. If you look around at advertisements, both online and in the newspaper, chances are you'll be able to find the exact same product at a lower cost somewhere else.\\nPrepare meals at home. Avoid eating out as much as possible, and bring a bagged lunch and thermos of coffee to work everyday. This will help save a lot of money, and you can apply that money to other expenses or to a savings account.\\nSeek out free or low-cost entertainment. You can find a lot of movies online for free or for relatively low costs (through legal streaming websites), or visit the library and borrow books, CDs, and movies for free.\\nAdjust your thermostat during the day when you're not home, and at night when you're asleep. Try to only run your heat or air conditioner the most when you're at home and awake. (However, if you have any pets at home, remember that they need a comfortable temperature during the day and night, even if you're not home.)\\nDon't buy things on credit, or with a credit card. Save up until you can afford your purchases and you'll avoid a lot of stress (and debt) in the process.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Increase your income.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you're working part-time, try getting a second part-time job, or finding one full-time job.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're working full-time, you can still find odd jobs to make a little extra cash on the side. And if you're getting by with your bills on your current job, your side job can be devoted to your savings account!\\nLook at the help wanted section in newspapers or on job listing websites.\\nFind easy side jobs that won't interfere with your work schedule. Odds are you'll be able to find listings for dog walkers, babysitters, or even freelance work on the side.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Start a savings account.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A savings account can help you reach long-term financial security.\", \"描述\": \"It's okay if it takes you a while to save up money. It takes a lot of planning and hard work for most people, but the reward of financial security is well worth it. A good way to start saving is by opening a savings account. You can start out small - say, by setting aside $20 every month or every paycheck. Over time, that weekly or monthly deposit adds up to a pretty substantial savings.\\nMany financial institutions let you set up an automatic transfer so that a portion of your paycheck is automatically deposited into your savings account.\\nSome banks offer a \\\"Keep the Change\\\" (or similar) program, in which small debit/checking purchases are rounded up to the nearest dollar and the change is deposited into your savings account. This is a quick and easy way to build up your savings without even really noticing it.\\nTry to avoid dipping into your savings unless it's an absolute emergency. If you can put off any purchases until after you receive your next paycheck, hold off and leave your savings untouched.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Never allow anyone to bring you down.\\n\", \"If you feel like life's too much to handle sometimes, don't bottle it up - vent it. Write about it on paper, talk to a friend, or visit a trained counselor.\\n\", \"Get enough sleep, eat a proper diet, and get adequate exercise. Self care is the first step towards feeling better and more secure in your life.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If your insecurities feel overwhelming and you feel like you can't handle it, ask for help. Talk to a therapist about ways to manage your stress and work towards a healthier, more secure sense of self.\\n\", \"Having a negative self-image can be very damaging to yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,134 | How to Be Seductive | 1. Using Your Body Language
1-1. Make eye contact.
The best way to introduce seductive techniques into a situation is eye contact. To start trying to be seductive, lock eyes with the person you're trying to attract. Hold their gaze to get their attention.
If the person walks over to begin a conversation, maintain eye contact as you talk. People are attracted to those who pay attention to them. Holding someone's gaze can help them feel special, making you come off as seductive.
Do not hold eye contact for more than a few seconds if someone is not in conversation with you. You do not want to look like you're staring.
1-2. Pay attention to your facial expression.
Certain facial expressions are read as more seductive than others. When trying to attract someone, subtlety is key in your facial expression. Instead of beaming at the other person, add a small, sly smile. Holding a person's gaze while offering a close-mouthed smile will come off as highly seductive.
1-3. Maintain the correct posture.
Posture can convey interest, which is a seductive quality. Closing your body off by crossing your arms or looking away can convey a lack of interest. Instead, work on maintaining an open posture to show the person you're interested in them.
Face the person when they're talking.
Keep your arms away from your chest. Do not put anything, like a purse or bag, on your lap.
Lean slightly forward. This conveys a genuine interest in the other person, which can be a seductive quality.
1-4. Add subtle touch.
If the person seems open to your flirtation, introduce light touch. Touch can trigger sexual interest. Do not overdo it. Stick to light, subtle touches.
For example, gently brush the person's arm or wrist during a conversation.
If seated, try brushing the person's knees under the table.
1-5. Use the right tone of voice.
Pay attention to the tone you're using when talking. Speak in a soft and pleasant voice. Avoid raising your voice or talking too loud. This can come as angry, and can dampen someone's interest in you.
2. Cultivating the Right Personality
2-1. Make people feel special.
People are interested in those who are interested in them. In general, people are most easily seduced by people equipped to make them feel good and special. If you want to be seductive, make a habit of complimenting others and making them feel good about themselves.
Take genuine interest in what other people do. Ask questions like, "That sounds interesting? What's it like teaching?"
Pay people compliments that make them feel unique and special. For example, say something like, "It sounds like you work really hard. I bet you put in more effort than most into teaching."
As you're complimenting someone, couple this with seductive body language. This will help you come off as irresistible.
2-2. Listen and share.
People are attracted to people willing to forge a connection with them. When trying to be seductive, listen to what the other person says. In turn, share things about yourself as well. Simply exchanging information with someone can make you more attractive to them.
When someone else is talking, give non-verbal cues to show you are listening. Nod, smile, and laugh when appropriate. Occasionally, reiterate what the other person has said to make sure you understood it.
In turn, answer any questions the other person may have about you. Be willing to talk about your own job, friends, life, and family. Do not dominate the conversation, but create a sense of intimacy by openly sharing.
2-3. Smile and laugh.
A good smile and laugh, on occasion, can make you come off as seductive in conversation. Remember to maintain a close-mouthed somewhat mysterious grin much of the time. However, if a joke is made, offer a big smile and a giggle. People will feel flattered by someone who laughs at their jokes.
2-4. Leave the person wanting more.
A little bit of mystery is seductive. When first meeting someone, be the one to put an end to phone conversations, dates, and other get-togethers. If you say goodbye first, the person will be left wanting a little more.
However, avoid playing games. Only leave if it makes sense to do so. For example, if it's getting late on a date, it's okay to duck out. Do not leave a date halfway through simply to look seductive. This is more likely to alienate the person.
3. Choosing a Seductive Style
3-1. Wear clothes that flatter your body.
There is no one outfit that is universally seductive. It will take some experimentation for you to find a seductive outfit that works for you. Try on a variety of clothing until you find something that flatters your body. Different cuts of shirts, suits, dresses, and jeans will work for different people.
You want something that shows off your best qualities. For example, if you have very muscular arms, go for a short sleeve t-shirt or button-down.
3-2. Go for softer lipsticks.
If you wear lipstick, dramatic lipstick may be a draw back when it comes to seduction. Lipstick can be attractive, but keep it subtle. Opt for a soft pink shade over something bright or vibrant.
3-3. Opt for seductive scents.
Smelling nice can be tremendously seductive. Pick out some pleasant scents of perfume and cologne. Before going out, dab them on your wrists or behind your ears. A nice, fresh scent can be very seductive.
Be sure to avoid anything overpowering. Stick to subtle scents, like vanilla, over dramatic floral scents. Some people may be bothered by strong smells.
3-4. Wear red.
People tend to be attracted to the color red. If you want to be seductive, opt to add some red to your outfit. Wear a red dress or a suit with a red undershirt. Try a flattering red blouse, t-shirt, or button down shirt. Even a pair of red pants can help you be seductive.
Remember, while red is great in clothing, bright reds for lipstick can be overwhelming.
3-5. Keep your hair clean and shiny.
There is no one single hairstyle that is seductive. However, making an effort with your looks is attractive. However you style your hair, keep it clean and shiny. Wash your hair before going out and use a small amount of product, like mousse or gel, to give it an extra gleam.
Sweet-smelling shampoos can also help give you a seductive scent.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Your Body Language\\n1-1. Make eye contact.\\nThe best way to introduce seductive techniques into a situation is eye contact. To start trying to be seductive, lock eyes with the person you're trying to attract. Hold their gaze to get their attention.\\nIf the person walks over to begin a conversation, maintain eye contact as you talk. People are attracted to those who pay attention to them. Holding someone's gaze can help them feel special, making you come off as seductive.\\nDo not hold eye contact for more than a few seconds if someone is not in conversation with you. You do not want to look like you're staring.\\n1-2. Pay attention to your facial expression.\\nCertain facial expressions are read as more seductive than others. When trying to attract someone, subtlety is key in your facial expression. Instead of beaming at the other person, add a small, sly smile. Holding a person's gaze while offering a close-mouthed smile will come off as highly seductive.\\n1-3. Maintain the correct posture.\\nPosture can convey interest, which is a seductive quality. Closing your body off by crossing your arms or looking away can convey a lack of interest. Instead, work on maintaining an open posture to show the person you're interested in them.\\nFace the person when they're talking.\\nKeep your arms away from your chest. Do not put anything, like a purse or bag, on your lap.\\nLean slightly forward. This conveys a genuine interest in the other person, which can be a seductive quality.\\n1-4. Add subtle touch.\\nIf the person seems open to your flirtation, introduce light touch. Touch can trigger sexual interest. Do not overdo it. Stick to light, subtle touches.\\nFor example, gently brush the person's arm or wrist during a conversation.\\nIf seated, try brushing the person's knees under the table.\\n1-5. Use the right tone of voice.\\nPay attention to the tone you're using when talking. Speak in a soft and pleasant voice. Avoid raising your voice or talking too loud. This can come as angry, and can dampen someone's interest in you.\\n2. Cultivating the Right Personality\\n2-1. Make people feel special.\\nPeople are interested in those who are interested in them. In general, people are most easily seduced by people equipped to make them feel good and special. If you want to be seductive, make a habit of complimenting others and making them feel good about themselves.\\nTake genuine interest in what other people do. Ask questions like, \\\"That sounds interesting? What's it like teaching?\\\"\\nPay people compliments that make them feel unique and special. For example, say something like, \\\"It sounds like you work really hard. I bet you put in more effort than most into teaching.\\\"\\nAs you're complimenting someone, couple this with seductive body language. This will help you come off as irresistible.\\n2-2. Listen and share.\\nPeople are attracted to people willing to forge a connection with them. When trying to be seductive, listen to what the other person says. In turn, share things about yourself as well. Simply exchanging information with someone can make you more attractive to them.\\nWhen someone else is talking, give non-verbal cues to show you are listening. Nod, smile, and laugh when appropriate. Occasionally, reiterate what the other person has said to make sure you understood it.\\nIn turn, answer any questions the other person may have about you. Be willing to talk about your own job, friends, life, and family. Do not dominate the conversation, but create a sense of intimacy by openly sharing.\\n2-3. Smile and laugh.\\nA good smile and laugh, on occasion, can make you come off as seductive in conversation. Remember to maintain a close-mouthed somewhat mysterious grin much of the time. However, if a joke is made, offer a big smile and a giggle. People will feel flattered by someone who laughs at their jokes.\\n2-4. Leave the person wanting more.\\nA little bit of mystery is seductive. When first meeting someone, be the one to put an end to phone conversations, dates, and other get-togethers. If you say goodbye first, the person will be left wanting a little more.\\nHowever, avoid playing games. Only leave if it makes sense to do so. For example, if it's getting late on a date, it's okay to duck out. Do not leave a date halfway through simply to look seductive. This is more likely to alienate the person.\\n3. Choosing a Seductive Style\\n3-1. Wear clothes that flatter your body.\\nThere is no one outfit that is universally seductive. It will take some experimentation for you to find a seductive outfit that works for you. Try on a variety of clothing until you find something that flatters your body. Different cuts of shirts, suits, dresses, and jeans will work for different people.\\nYou want something that shows off your best qualities. For example, if you have very muscular arms, go for a short sleeve t-shirt or button-down.\\n3-2. Go for softer lipsticks.\\nIf you wear lipstick, dramatic lipstick may be a draw back when it comes to seduction. Lipstick can be attractive, but keep it subtle. Opt for a soft pink shade over something bright or vibrant.\\n3-3. Opt for seductive scents.\\nSmelling nice can be tremendously seductive. Pick out some pleasant scents of perfume and cologne. Before going out, dab them on your wrists or behind your ears. A nice, fresh scent can be very seductive.\\nBe sure to avoid anything overpowering. Stick to subtle scents, like vanilla, over dramatic floral scents. Some people may be bothered by strong smells.\\n3-4. Wear red.\\nPeople tend to be attracted to the color red. If you want to be seductive, opt to add some red to your outfit. Wear a red dress or a suit with a red undershirt. Try a flattering red blouse, t-shirt, or button down shirt. Even a pair of red pants can help you be seductive.\\nRemember, while red is great in clothing, bright reds for lipstick can be overwhelming.\\n3-5. Keep your hair clean and shiny.\\nThere is no one single hairstyle that is seductive. However, making an effort with your looks is attractive. However you style your hair, keep it clean and shiny. Wash your hair before going out and use a small amount of product, like mousse or gel, to give it an extra gleam.\\nSweet-smelling shampoos can also help give you a seductive scent.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you want to get someone's sexual or romantic attention, being seductive can help. While it may seem complicated, some attention to detail and changes in body language can help. Being seductive requires the right body language and personality. Strive to make eye contact and add subtle touch to situations. Listen to what the other person says and make them feel special. In terms of your outfit, opt for clothing that flatters your body and attracts some attention.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Your Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to introduce seductive techniques into a situation is eye contact. To start trying to be seductive, lock eyes with the person you're trying to attract. Hold their gaze to get their attention.\\nIf the person walks over to begin a conversation, maintain eye contact as you talk. People are attracted to those who pay attention to them. Holding someone's gaze can help them feel special, making you come off as seductive.\\nDo not hold eye contact for more than a few seconds if someone is not in conversation with you. You do not want to look like you're staring.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your facial expression.\", \"描述\": \"Certain facial expressions are read as more seductive than others. When trying to attract someone, subtlety is key in your facial expression. Instead of beaming at the other person, add a small, sly smile. Holding a person's gaze while offering a close-mouthed smile will come off as highly seductive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain the correct posture.\", \"描述\": \"Posture can convey interest, which is a seductive quality. Closing your body off by crossing your arms or looking away can convey a lack of interest. Instead, work on maintaining an open posture to show the person you're interested in them.\\nFace the person when they're talking.\\nKeep your arms away from your chest. Do not put anything, like a purse or bag, on your lap.\\nLean slightly forward. This conveys a genuine interest in the other person, which can be a seductive quality.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add subtle touch.\", \"描述\": \"If the person seems open to your flirtation, introduce light touch. Touch can trigger sexual interest. Do not overdo it. Stick to light, subtle touches.\\nFor example, gently brush the person's arm or wrist during a conversation.\\nIf seated, try brushing the person's knees under the table.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use the right tone of voice.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to the tone you're using when talking. Speak in a soft and pleasant voice. Avoid raising your voice or talking too loud. This can come as angry, and can dampen someone's interest in you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivating the Right Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make people feel special.\", \"描述\": \"People are interested in those who are interested in them. In general, people are most easily seduced by people equipped to make them feel good and special. If you want to be seductive, make a habit of complimenting others and making them feel good about themselves.\\nTake genuine interest in what other people do. Ask questions like, \\\"That sounds interesting? What's it like teaching?\\\"\\nPay people compliments that make them feel unique and special. For example, say something like, \\\"It sounds like you work really hard. I bet you put in more effort than most into teaching.\\\"\\nAs you're complimenting someone, couple this with seductive body language. This will help you come off as irresistible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen and share.\", \"描述\": \"People are attracted to people willing to forge a connection with them. When trying to be seductive, listen to what the other person says. In turn, share things about yourself as well. Simply exchanging information with someone can make you more attractive to them.\\nWhen someone else is talking, give non-verbal cues to show you are listening. Nod, smile, and laugh when appropriate. Occasionally, reiterate what the other person has said to make sure you understood it.\\nIn turn, answer any questions the other person may have about you. Be willing to talk about your own job, friends, life, and family. Do not dominate the conversation, but create a sense of intimacy by openly sharing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile and laugh.\", \"描述\": \"A good smile and laugh, on occasion, can make you come off as seductive in conversation. Remember to maintain a close-mouthed somewhat mysterious grin much of the time. However, if a joke is made, offer a big smile and a giggle. People will feel flattered by someone who laughs at their jokes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Leave the person wanting more.\", \"描述\": \"A little bit of mystery is seductive. When first meeting someone, be the one to put an end to phone conversations, dates, and other get-togethers. If you say goodbye first, the person will be left wanting a little more.\\nHowever, avoid playing games. Only leave if it makes sense to do so. For example, if it's getting late on a date, it's okay to duck out. Do not leave a date halfway through simply to look seductive. This is more likely to alienate the person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Seductive Style\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that flatter your body.\", \"描述\": \"There is no one outfit that is universally seductive. It will take some experimentation for you to find a seductive outfit that works for you. Try on a variety of clothing until you find something that flatters your body. Different cuts of shirts, suits, dresses, and jeans will work for different people.\\nYou want something that shows off your best qualities. For example, if you have very muscular arms, go for a short sleeve t-shirt or button-down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go for softer lipsticks.\", \"描述\": \"If you wear lipstick, dramatic lipstick may be a draw back when it comes to seduction. Lipstick can be attractive, but keep it subtle. Opt for a soft pink shade over something bright or vibrant.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Opt for seductive scents.\", \"描述\": \"Smelling nice can be tremendously seductive. Pick out some pleasant scents of perfume and cologne. Before going out, dab them on your wrists or behind your ears. A nice, fresh scent can be very seductive.\\nBe sure to avoid anything overpowering. Stick to subtle scents, like vanilla, over dramatic floral scents. Some people may be bothered by strong smells.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear red.\", \"描述\": \"People tend to be attracted to the color red. If you want to be seductive, opt to add some red to your outfit. Wear a red dress or a suit with a red undershirt. Try a flattering red blouse, t-shirt, or button down shirt. Even a pair of red pants can help you be seductive.\\nRemember, while red is great in clothing, bright reds for lipstick can be overwhelming.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your hair clean and shiny.\", \"描述\": \"There is no one single hairstyle that is seductive. However, making an effort with your looks is attractive. However you style your hair, keep it clean and shiny. Wash your hair before going out and use a small amount of product, like mousse or gel, to give it an extra gleam.\\nSweet-smelling shampoos can also help give you a seductive scent.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,135 | How to Be Seen As the Hot Cool Girl in School | 1. Steps
1-1. Engage in good hygiene.
First things first, no one is going to find you attractive if you look dirty. In order to be attractive, you MUST be clean. Shower every day and wash your hair at least three times a week. Also, brush your teeth often to keep your breath fresh and your smile white.
1-2. Make sure your hair always looks nice.
Keep it tangle-free and clean. Straighteners and curlers can be harsh and damaging, so use a heat protecting spray and try to use heat sparingly.
1-3. Take care of any unwanted hair.
If you are over the age of twelve and feel the need to, shave your legs every couple of days and pluck your eyebrows into a feminine arch. You may even want to wax your bikini line if you are planning to go swimming, but remember, this is not absolutely necessary.
1-4. Have clear skin.
Drink a lot of water and eat healthy food, because this can make your skin healthier looking. Also, use acne cream/treatments for pimples and wash your face well with a product that works for you, some people find that soap dries out the skin on their face. Use cleanser often. Use lotion to avoid having dry skin.
1-5. Remove your makeup every night.
If you are going to wear makeup, always wash your face at the end of each day. Also remember that less is more. All you really need is concealer, mascara, thin eyeliner, neutral eye shadow, blush or bronzer, and a lip product.
1-6. Get dressed up.
No matter where you are going, for school or whatever, ! Read fashion magazines and buy more fashionable clothes. It doesn't have to be expensive; you can wear jeans, but make sure you still look fabulous!
1-7. Wear some jewelry.
Don't overdo it, but it's always nice that you wear pretty earrings or bracelets. If you want to look classic, wear pearl earrings. If you want something more diva-like, wear hoop earrings.
1-8. Act confident.
This is a 'must'. If you started to look good, the best way to make people drawn to you and your looks, is to show confidence. Even if you don't feel confident, fake it until you feel confident enough. That means having good posture, head high, looking at people in the eyes and walking like you own the place, with a little bit of a sexy sway in the hips if that's appropriate! People will see you as confident and will be interested in approaching you.
1-9. Have something to say.
Don't go with silly conversations like "what class do you have?" or "what do you feel like doing?". That's just the usual boring get-to-know-you chit chat that feels awkward... just start to introduce yourself, and tell funny stories about yourself, and talk naturally, so people will see you as a nice person to talk to. Just that.
Tips
Don't overdo it! Simply wear eyeliner and a lip product, especially if you're under the age of sixteen.
Don't over dress either, like wearing dresses and heels, etc. Wear nice casual clothes, meaning like skinny jeans and a cute shirt.
Always smile! It will make you seem and feel confident. It might make other people's day, as well!
Warnings
Don't date just 'any' guy, just because you think he is cute. You have to see that he is a nice person before accepting a date with him. Talk to him first, and see if he is nice. Once in a while, play hard to get.
Don't act overconfident. People tend to see this as annoying after a while, which will show up negatively in your popularity.
Don't date for popularity. Using a guy is, at best, shameful.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Engage in good hygiene.\\nFirst things first, no one is going to find you attractive if you look dirty. In order to be attractive, you MUST be clean. Shower every day and wash your hair at least three times a week. Also, brush your teeth often to keep your breath fresh and your smile white.\\n1-2. Make sure your hair always looks nice.\\nKeep it tangle-free and clean. Straighteners and curlers can be harsh and damaging, so use a heat protecting spray and try to use heat sparingly.\\n1-3. Take care of any unwanted hair.\\nIf you are over the age of twelve and feel the need to, shave your legs every couple of days and pluck your eyebrows into a feminine arch. You may even want to wax your bikini line if you are planning to go swimming, but remember, this is not absolutely necessary.\\n1-4. Have clear skin.\\nDrink a lot of water and eat healthy food, because this can make your skin healthier looking. Also, use acne cream/treatments for pimples and wash your face well with a product that works for you, some people find that soap dries out the skin on their face. Use cleanser often. Use lotion to avoid having dry skin.\\n1-5. Remove your makeup every night.\\nIf you are going to wear makeup, always wash your face at the end of each day. Also remember that less is more. All you really need is concealer, mascara, thin eyeliner, neutral eye shadow, blush or bronzer, and a lip product.\\n1-6. Get dressed up.\\nNo matter where you are going, for school or whatever, ! Read fashion magazines and buy more fashionable clothes. It doesn't have to be expensive; you can wear jeans, but make sure you still look fabulous!\\n1-7. Wear some jewelry.\\nDon't overdo it, but it's always nice that you wear pretty earrings or bracelets. If you want to look classic, wear pearl earrings. If you want something more diva-like, wear hoop earrings.\\n1-8. Act confident.\\nThis is a 'must'. If you started to look good, the best way to make people drawn to you and your looks, is to show confidence. Even if you don't feel confident, fake it until you feel confident enough. That means having good posture, head high, looking at people in the eyes and walking like you own the place, with a little bit of a sexy sway in the hips if that's appropriate! People will see you as confident and will be interested in approaching you.\\n1-9. Have something to say.\\nDon't go with silly conversations like \\\"what class do you have?\\\" or \\\"what do you feel like doing?\\\". That's just the usual boring get-to-know-you chit chat that feels awkward... just start to introduce yourself, and tell funny stories about yourself, and talk naturally, so people will see you as a nice person to talk to. Just that.\\nTips\\nDon't overdo it! Simply wear eyeliner and a lip product, especially if you're under the age of sixteen.\\nDon't over dress either, like wearing dresses and heels, etc. Wear nice casual clothes, meaning like skinny jeans and a cute shirt.\\nAlways smile! It will make you seem and feel confident. It might make other people's day, as well!\\nWarnings\\nDon't date just 'any' guy, just because you think he is cute. You have to see that he is a nice person before accepting a date with him. Talk to him first, and see if he is nice. Once in a while, play hard to get.\\nDon't act overconfident. People tend to see this as annoying after a while, which will show up negatively in your popularity.\\nDon't date for popularity. Using a guy is, at best, shameful.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"So, you want to be that girl in school; the hot, cool girl that everyone's talking about? If you want to turn heads, you'll need a stylish wardrobe, enviable hair, and a confident personality. Being funny and kind can also help. Once you become the hot, cool girl, remember to use your influence for good!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Engage in good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"First things first, no one is going to find you attractive if you look dirty. In order to be attractive, you MUST be clean. Shower every day and wash your hair at least three times a week. Also, brush your teeth often to keep your breath fresh and your smile white.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure your hair always looks nice.\", \"描述\": \"Keep it tangle-free and clean. Straighteners and curlers can be harsh and damaging, so use a heat protecting spray and try to use heat sparingly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take care of any unwanted hair.\", \"描述\": \"If you are over the age of twelve and feel the need to, shave your legs every couple of days and pluck your eyebrows into a feminine arch. You may even want to wax your bikini line if you are planning to go swimming, but remember, this is not absolutely necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have clear skin.\", \"描述\": \"Drink a lot of water and eat healthy food, because this can make your skin healthier looking. Also, use acne cream/treatments for pimples and wash your face well with a product that works for you, some people find that soap dries out the skin on their face. Use cleanser often. Use lotion to avoid having dry skin.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remove your makeup every night.\", \"描述\": \"If you are going to wear makeup, always wash your face at the end of each day. Also remember that less is more. All you really need is concealer, mascara, thin eyeliner, neutral eye shadow, blush or bronzer, and a lip product.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get dressed up.\", \"描述\": \"No matter where you are going, for school or whatever, ! Read fashion magazines and buy more fashionable clothes. It doesn't have to be expensive; you can wear jeans, but make sure you still look fabulous!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Wear some jewelry.\", \"描述\": \"Don't overdo it, but it's always nice that you wear pretty earrings or bracelets. If you want to look classic, wear pearl earrings. If you want something more diva-like, wear hoop earrings.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Act confident.\", \"描述\": \"This is a 'must'. If you started to look good, the best way to make people drawn to you and your looks, is to show confidence. Even if you don't feel confident, fake it until you feel confident enough. That means having good posture, head high, looking at people in the eyes and walking like you own the place, with a little bit of a sexy sway in the hips if that's appropriate! People will see you as confident and will be interested in approaching you.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Have something to say.\", \"描述\": \"Don't go with silly conversations like \\\"what class do you have?\\\" or \\\"what do you feel like doing?\\\". That's just the usual boring get-to-know-you chit chat that feels awkward... just start to introduce yourself, and tell funny stories about yourself, and talk naturally, so people will see you as a nice person to talk to. Just that.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't overdo it! Simply wear eyeliner and a lip product, especially if you're under the age of sixteen.\\n\", \"Don't over dress either, like wearing dresses and heels, etc. Wear nice casual clothes, meaning like skinny jeans and a cute shirt.\\n\", \"Always smile! It will make you seem and feel confident. It might make other people's day, as well!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't date just 'any' guy, just because you think he is cute. You have to see that he is a nice person before accepting a date with him. Talk to him first, and see if he is nice. Once in a while, play hard to get.\\n\", \"Don't act overconfident. People tend to see this as annoying after a while, which will show up negatively in your popularity.\\n\", \"Don't date for popularity. Using a guy is, at best, shameful.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,136 | How to Be Self Confident | 1. Getting in the Right Mindset
1-1. Be proud of your strengths.
If you want to be self-confident, then the first thing you have to do is to think about all of the things you already have going for you. You may feel like there's nothing good about you, that you have no redeeming qualities, and that everyone around you is somehow better-looking and more impressive than you are. Well, all of that has to go out the window if you're determined to change! Make a list of all of the things you're good at, from being a good listener to having a great singing voice. Then, write them on sticky notes and put them on your mirror or somewhere you'll see them every day. These qualities may not mean much to you, but you have to think about the fact that you do have plenty of things to be proud of.
If you really like the list idea, then you can even keep the list handy. Add to it whenever you think, "Oh, right, there's something else I'm good at..." When you're feeling low or like you're not worth much, read it over and you'll feel better.
Talk to a close friend about it. Ask your friend what he or she thinks your strengths are. Your friend may come up with something that you never even considered because it was right before your eyes!
1-2. Work to be an optimist.
Of course, optimism, like Rome, cannot be built in a day, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it to start building a foundation of positive thinking and an expectation for the best. Optimism and confidence often go hand in hand, because people who are hopeful for the future and expect good things to happen tend to think that good things will happen to them if they go out into the world or just try hard enough. Practice monitoring your thoughts to see how many of them are negative, and work to counteract every negative thought with at least three positive ones. With enough hard work, you'll soon be able to see the world in a more favorable light.
The next time you're with your friends, practice talking about the exciting things in your life or the things you have to look forward to, and you'll see that people will respond better to you, and that you'll find yourself in a better mood.
1-3. Be prepared.
Being prepared for any situation -- within reason -- can also help you be self-confident. If you're walking into a math test, you better have put in the hours of studying necessary to succeed. If you're giving a presentation in front of class, you should have practiced until you got it down cold. If you're going to a party, you should learn as much as you can about it, such as who will be there, when it starts, and other details, so you feel like there are less X factors when you walk into the room. While it's impossible to be 100% prepared for any situation -- which is part of the fun and mystery of life -- it can certainly help to feel like you have a sense of what you signed up for.
If you're in a group setting and feel like you have something to contribute, then you'll feel more self-confident than if you just hang back, listening to everyone else's opinions. You don't have to chatter constantly to build your confidence, but you should talk often enough that you feel like you have many worthwhile things to say.
You can cultivate things to contribute by reading interesting articles, watching the news, or doing research about current events or things that interest you. Bring up a topic that you have researched in a conversation and see where it goes. Having information to back what you say will help you feel more confident in a conversation.
If you know something or have a particular skill-- anything from how to build furniture to how to choose the right pair of shoes for prom-- people may turn to you for help. You can build a lot of confidence by helping others and seeing that they have something to gain from you.
1-4. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
You need to focus on yourself and how to reach the goals you want to reach instead of peeking over at your neighbor and wondering why you can't be as attractive/smart/confident as he is. Be kind to yourself and focus on your own dreams and goals, and be proud of yourself for accomplishing them.
Realize that it’s common to idealize the lives of others from what you see. In other words, you don’t see the whole picture of a person’s life from casual interactions.
If you begin comparing yourself to someone else, stop and refocus on yourself. Identify ways in which you are successful, happy, or improving your situation.
People who lack confidence are constantly questioning themselves and the world around them. Leave less room for doubt by feeling capable of the task that lies ahead of you.
1-5. Get rid of as many sources of negativity as you can.
Unfortunately, it may be impossible to get rid of every little thing that is making you feel down about yourself, but you can definitely make an effort to surround yourself with positive people and situations where you feel good about yourself. Here are some things to consider:
If you feel bad about your body or general appearance because you're always flipping through celebrity magazines or watching television, then try to divorce yourself from that culture as much as you can.
If you spend time with a friend, family member, or significant other who is always making you feel worthless, then it's time to question your relationship. You can try to make changes to your relationship by using assertive communication to address the way the person makes you feel. If the relationship doesn’t or can’t improve, you may need to make the decision to end or limit your time with the person.
If you play a sport that you really hate and feel like you've put in all of the effort you can and still nothing works out, then it may be time to find another club that suits your needs better; this is not to say that you should quit whenever the going gets tough, but that you should learn to recognize when something's just not working for you.
2. Putting It into Action
2-1. Embrace the unknown.
If you have trouble with self-confidence, then doing something completely new and different probably doesn't exactly excite you. Well, it's time to be brave and venture forth to do something you never expected to do. This could be introducing yourself to a new group of people at a party, signing up for a dance class though you have two left feet, or applying for a job that sounds fantastic but overwhelming. The more you get into the habit of trying new things, the more secure you'll feel, because you'll get the sense that you can handle any curve ball life may throw at you. Here are some other great ways to embrace the unknown:
Start small. Strike up a conversation with someone you see a lot but never talk to, such as the guy who sits next to you in math class or your neighbor.
Plan a trip to a new place, even if it's just a city 50 miles (80 km) away from your hometown. Get in the habit of going new places and seeing new things.
Try your hand at learning a foreign language. Doing something that feels completely unfamiliar to you is fun and can build your confidence.
2-2. Take more risks.
Taking (reasonable) risks is related to embracing the unknown and asserting yourself as an individual. If you want to be more self-confident, then you have to not only try new things, but you have to be up for doing something that feels a little bit scary or uncertain to you. Not every risk you take will lead to something great, but it will get you into the habit of putting yourself out there and seeing what happens. Taking risks will make you feel like you aren't confined to the small set of things you already feel comfortable with and that you are capable of anything.
Step out of your comfort zone at least once a day. This could mean talking to your crush -- or even asking him or her out, if you've worked up the courage!
If you're unhappy at work but feel afraid to leave, try applying to just one job. Even if nothing comes of it, you'll see that the risk you took wasn't all that scary.
Confront your fear, while you're at it. While you don't have to bungee jump if you're afraid of heights, you can take an elevator to the top of a ten-story building and look out a window. You'll see that you really can overcome whatever is holding you back.
2-3. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
Maintaining positive influences can be even more beneficial to building your self-confidence than cutting out negative influences. If you spend a lot of time with people who are supportive and offer stress- and drama- free social support, you will benefit by feeling more confident about yourself and dealing with your emotions more effectively. Make a habit of spending as much time with people who treat you well as you can.
Hanging out with people who are self-confident can also be a big help. Instead of being jealous of those people, study them and ask yourself, "What do they do differently than me, and how can I cultivate a similar manner?" You'll find that the people who are confident aren't necessarily "better" than you in anything -- except having a positive outlook about themselves.
2-4. Cultivate a hobby.
Having something that you’re good at—or better yet, passionate about—can help you feel well-rounded and happier. This can give you a boost in confidence. Having a hobby can stimulate your creativity, which translates to other situations such as the workplace and your social interactions as well. Furthermore, a hobby can help cultivate the social support that is beneficial to your emotional well-being.
Be sure that you allow yourself to set aside time for your hobby or activity that makes you happy. This can be difficult for people who have a lot of work or familial commitments, but it is important.
2-5. Show confidence in your body language.
Stand up tall; having great posture can go a long way in making you appear and feel more confident. If you slouch all the time, that's sending yourself and the people around you a signal that you're not happy with who you are and want to be smaller than you appear to be. Instead, keep your back straight and your shoulders pulled back with your chest out.
Don't cross your arms over your chest, either. Keep them at your sides or use them to gesture. This will make you look more approachable and to feel more open.
Make natural eye contact when you talk to people. If you look people in the eye, that's sending a message that you're comfortable talking to them on an even level, and that you're open to new ideas.
Making eye contact with people can also help you keep your head up. Looking down at the ground or at your feet all the time is another thing that can make you both look and feel less confident.
You should also walk with strong, confident strides instead of shuffling or dragging your feet. This will help you look and feel more confident as well.
2-6. Put time into your appearance.
If you spend enough time on your appearance to show that you care about yourself, you will see that you'll start to view yourself more positively. If you want to be more self-confident, then you should make sure to practice good hygiene, to shower daily, to comb your hair, and to wear clothes that are clean and free of wrinkles. If you don’t care for your physical appearance, you’re communicating to yourself and others that you do not feel as though you are worth the time it takes to practice self-care.
If you look in the mirror and see a person who is well-groomed, you'll be much more likely to value yourself.
Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. This likely means clothing that fits you (at your current size) and has a flattering look that fits with your personality.
This doesn't mean you should put on a ton of makeup or wear clothes that make you feel like you're being someone else. You should always be yourself -- just a clean, hygienic version of yourself.
3. Continuing to Grow
3-1. Learn from failure.
People who are self-confident are not a wild success at everything they try. But the people who are self-confident do embrace failure and learn from their mistakes instead of giving up on anything that doesn't go their way. The next time you don't do well on a math test, don't get hired after an interview, or get rejected by a date, don't let this discourage you from asking yourself what went wrong and how you can learn from it. Of course, some of the time, you may just be a victim of bad luck, but it's important to feel as in control of every situation as you can so that you can do better the next time.
The mantra, "If at first you don't succeed..." really is true. Think of how boring life would be if you were the best at everything you tried. Instead, look at failure as an opportunity to prove yourself the next time around.
The important thing is to learn where you went wrong along with accepting when something was just dumb luck.
3-2. Exercise more.
Though exercise alone won't make you feel like a million dollars, getting in the habit of exercising for at least 30 minutes daily, or just a few times a week, can go a long way in making you feel both mentally and physically better about yourself. Exercise builds endorphins and will physiologically make you feel better about yourself and the world, while also providing your body with valuable benefits. It's a win-win situation, and making a goal of exercising as much as is comfortable for you can help you feel more self-confident.
You can even use exercise as an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and to try something new. Maybe you've been scared about trying yoga or taking a Zumba class, but once you sign up, you'll find that it wasn't as scary as it sounded.
3-3. Smile more.
It's been proven that smiling will not only make you happier, but it will make the people around you react more positively to you. Smiling, even when you feel like it's the last thing you want to do, can also make you feel more confident when you approach people and go about your day. Smiling will also make people feel more able to come up to you, and you could be inviting a new friend or a new opportunity to come your way just by moving your lips. There's no reason not to smile more, no matter how down you're feeling!
3-4. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Being self-confident doesn't mean you have to be a jack-of-all trades who is amazing at every little thing he does. But it does mean that you're the kind of person who can admit when you can't do something on your own. There's a pride and confidence that comes from knowing when you're out of your element, and if you ask for help when it's needed, you'll not only be able to accomplish more, but you'll feel proud of yourself for making the effort to approach someone and asking for guidance.
If you ask people for help, they'll be more likely to ask you for help in return, and you'll see how needed you really are.
3-5. Learn to live in the present.
If you lack self-confidence, you may find yourself dwelling on actions of the past or worrying about the outcomes of future actions. Living more in the moment can help you be at-peace with the way things are now. This can help you feel happier and more relaxed, but it can also be a difficult habit to cultivate.
Learning to let go of worry for the future and accept what has happened in the past can help you live in the present.
Practice yoga or mindful mediation. This can also help you live in the present.
Tips
Walk with your head up, keep your shoulders straight, and look directly in front of you.
Each night before sleeping, speak positively to yourself.
Do your best to make a good impression on people who do not know you and see you for the first time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting in the Right Mindset\\n1-1. Be proud of your strengths.\\nIf you want to be self-confident, then the first thing you have to do is to think about all of the things you already have going for you. You may feel like there's nothing good about you, that you have no redeeming qualities, and that everyone around you is somehow better-looking and more impressive than you are. Well, all of that has to go out the window if you're determined to change! Make a list of all of the things you're good at, from being a good listener to having a great singing voice. Then, write them on sticky notes and put them on your mirror or somewhere you'll see them every day. These qualities may not mean much to you, but you have to think about the fact that you do have plenty of things to be proud of.\\nIf you really like the list idea, then you can even keep the list handy. Add to it whenever you think, \\\"Oh, right, there's something else I'm good at...\\\" When you're feeling low or like you're not worth much, read it over and you'll feel better.\\nTalk to a close friend about it. Ask your friend what he or she thinks your strengths are. Your friend may come up with something that you never even considered because it was right before your eyes!\\n1-2. Work to be an optimist.\\nOf course, optimism, like Rome, cannot be built in a day, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it to start building a foundation of positive thinking and an expectation for the best. Optimism and confidence often go hand in hand, because people who are hopeful for the future and expect good things to happen tend to think that good things will happen to them if they go out into the world or just try hard enough. Practice monitoring your thoughts to see how many of them are negative, and work to counteract every negative thought with at least three positive ones. With enough hard work, you'll soon be able to see the world in a more favorable light.\\nThe next time you're with your friends, practice talking about the exciting things in your life or the things you have to look forward to, and you'll see that people will respond better to you, and that you'll find yourself in a better mood.\\n1-3. Be prepared.\\nBeing prepared for any situation -- within reason -- can also help you be self-confident. If you're walking into a math test, you better have put in the hours of studying necessary to succeed. If you're giving a presentation in front of class, you should have practiced until you got it down cold. If you're going to a party, you should learn as much as you can about it, such as who will be there, when it starts, and other details, so you feel like there are less X factors when you walk into the room. While it's impossible to be 100% prepared for any situation -- which is part of the fun and mystery of life -- it can certainly help to feel like you have a sense of what you signed up for.\\nIf you're in a group setting and feel like you have something to contribute, then you'll feel more self-confident than if you just hang back, listening to everyone else's opinions. You don't have to chatter constantly to build your confidence, but you should talk often enough that you feel like you have many worthwhile things to say.\\nYou can cultivate things to contribute by reading interesting articles, watching the news, or doing research about current events or things that interest you. Bring up a topic that you have researched in a conversation and see where it goes. Having information to back what you say will help you feel more confident in a conversation.\\nIf you know something or have a particular skill-- anything from how to build furniture to how to choose the right pair of shoes for prom-- people may turn to you for help. You can build a lot of confidence by helping others and seeing that they have something to gain from you.\\n1-4. Stop comparing yourself to other people.\\nYou need to focus on yourself and how to reach the goals you want to reach instead of peeking over at your neighbor and wondering why you can't be as attractive/smart/confident as he is. Be kind to yourself and focus on your own dreams and goals, and be proud of yourself for accomplishing them.\\nRealize that it’s common to idealize the lives of others from what you see. In other words, you don’t see the whole picture of a person’s life from casual interactions.\\nIf you begin comparing yourself to someone else, stop and refocus on yourself. Identify ways in which you are successful, happy, or improving your situation.\\nPeople who lack confidence are constantly questioning themselves and the world around them. Leave less room for doubt by feeling capable of the task that lies ahead of you.\\n1-5. Get rid of as many sources of negativity as you can.\\nUnfortunately, it may be impossible to get rid of every little thing that is making you feel down about yourself, but you can definitely make an effort to surround yourself with positive people and situations where you feel good about yourself. Here are some things to consider:\\nIf you feel bad about your body or general appearance because you're always flipping through celebrity magazines or watching television, then try to divorce yourself from that culture as much as you can.\\nIf you spend time with a friend, family member, or significant other who is always making you feel worthless, then it's time to question your relationship. You can try to make changes to your relationship by using assertive communication to address the way the person makes you feel. If the relationship doesn’t or can’t improve, you may need to make the decision to end or limit your time with the person.\\nIf you play a sport that you really hate and feel like you've put in all of the effort you can and still nothing works out, then it may be time to find another club that suits your needs better; this is not to say that you should quit whenever the going gets tough, but that you should learn to recognize when something's just not working for you.\\n2. Putting It into Action\\n2-1. Embrace the unknown.\\nIf you have trouble with self-confidence, then doing something completely new and different probably doesn't exactly excite you. Well, it's time to be brave and venture forth to do something you never expected to do. This could be introducing yourself to a new group of people at a party, signing up for a dance class though you have two left feet, or applying for a job that sounds fantastic but overwhelming. The more you get into the habit of trying new things, the more secure you'll feel, because you'll get the sense that you can handle any curve ball life may throw at you. Here are some other great ways to embrace the unknown:\\nStart small. Strike up a conversation with someone you see a lot but never talk to, such as the guy who sits next to you in math class or your neighbor.\\nPlan a trip to a new place, even if it's just a city 50 miles (80 km) away from your hometown. Get in the habit of going new places and seeing new things.\\nTry your hand at learning a foreign language. Doing something that feels completely unfamiliar to you is fun and can build your confidence.\\n2-2. Take more risks.\\nTaking (reasonable) risks is related to embracing the unknown and asserting yourself as an individual. If you want to be more self-confident, then you have to not only try new things, but you have to be up for doing something that feels a little bit scary or uncertain to you. Not every risk you take will lead to something great, but it will get you into the habit of putting yourself out there and seeing what happens. Taking risks will make you feel like you aren't confined to the small set of things you already feel comfortable with and that you are capable of anything.\\nStep out of your comfort zone at least once a day. This could mean talking to your crush -- or even asking him or her out, if you've worked up the courage!\\nIf you're unhappy at work but feel afraid to leave, try applying to just one job. Even if nothing comes of it, you'll see that the risk you took wasn't all that scary.\\nConfront your fear, while you're at it. While you don't have to bungee jump if you're afraid of heights, you can take an elevator to the top of a ten-story building and look out a window. You'll see that you really can overcome whatever is holding you back.\\n2-3. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.\\nMaintaining positive influences can be even more beneficial to building your self-confidence than cutting out negative influences. If you spend a lot of time with people who are supportive and offer stress- and drama- free social support, you will benefit by feeling more confident about yourself and dealing with your emotions more effectively. Make a habit of spending as much time with people who treat you well as you can.\\nHanging out with people who are self-confident can also be a big help. Instead of being jealous of those people, study them and ask yourself, \\\"What do they do differently than me, and how can I cultivate a similar manner?\\\" You'll find that the people who are confident aren't necessarily \\\"better\\\" than you in anything -- except having a positive outlook about themselves.\\n2-4. Cultivate a hobby.\\nHaving something that you’re good at—or better yet, passionate about—can help you feel well-rounded and happier. This can give you a boost in confidence. Having a hobby can stimulate your creativity, which translates to other situations such as the workplace and your social interactions as well. Furthermore, a hobby can help cultivate the social support that is beneficial to your emotional well-being.\\nBe sure that you allow yourself to set aside time for your hobby or activity that makes you happy. This can be difficult for people who have a lot of work or familial commitments, but it is important.\\n2-5. Show confidence in your body language.\\nStand up tall; having great posture can go a long way in making you appear and feel more confident. If you slouch all the time, that's sending yourself and the people around you a signal that you're not happy with who you are and want to be smaller than you appear to be. Instead, keep your back straight and your shoulders pulled back with your chest out.\\nDon't cross your arms over your chest, either. Keep them at your sides or use them to gesture. This will make you look more approachable and to feel more open.\\nMake natural eye contact when you talk to people. If you look people in the eye, that's sending a message that you're comfortable talking to them on an even level, and that you're open to new ideas.\\nMaking eye contact with people can also help you keep your head up. Looking down at the ground or at your feet all the time is another thing that can make you both look and feel less confident.\\nYou should also walk with strong, confident strides instead of shuffling or dragging your feet. This will help you look and feel more confident as well.\\n2-6. Put time into your appearance.\\nIf you spend enough time on your appearance to show that you care about yourself, you will see that you'll start to view yourself more positively. If you want to be more self-confident, then you should make sure to practice good hygiene, to shower daily, to comb your hair, and to wear clothes that are clean and free of wrinkles. If you don’t care for your physical appearance, you’re communicating to yourself and others that you do not feel as though you are worth the time it takes to practice self-care.\\nIf you look in the mirror and see a person who is well-groomed, you'll be much more likely to value yourself.\\nWear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. This likely means clothing that fits you (at your current size) and has a flattering look that fits with your personality.\\nThis doesn't mean you should put on a ton of makeup or wear clothes that make you feel like you're being someone else. You should always be yourself -- just a clean, hygienic version of yourself.\\n3. Continuing to Grow\\n3-1. Learn from failure.\\nPeople who are self-confident are not a wild success at everything they try. But the people who are self-confident do embrace failure and learn from their mistakes instead of giving up on anything that doesn't go their way. The next time you don't do well on a math test, don't get hired after an interview, or get rejected by a date, don't let this discourage you from asking yourself what went wrong and how you can learn from it. Of course, some of the time, you may just be a victim of bad luck, but it's important to feel as in control of every situation as you can so that you can do better the next time.\\nThe mantra, \\\"If at first you don't succeed...\\\" really is true. Think of how boring life would be if you were the best at everything you tried. Instead, look at failure as an opportunity to prove yourself the next time around.\\nThe important thing is to learn where you went wrong along with accepting when something was just dumb luck.\\n3-2. Exercise more.\\nThough exercise alone won't make you feel like a million dollars, getting in the habit of exercising for at least 30 minutes daily, or just a few times a week, can go a long way in making you feel both mentally and physically better about yourself. Exercise builds endorphins and will physiologically make you feel better about yourself and the world, while also providing your body with valuable benefits. It's a win-win situation, and making a goal of exercising as much as is comfortable for you can help you feel more self-confident.\\nYou can even use exercise as an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and to try something new. Maybe you've been scared about trying yoga or taking a Zumba class, but once you sign up, you'll find that it wasn't as scary as it sounded.\\n3-3. Smile more.\\nIt's been proven that smiling will not only make you happier, but it will make the people around you react more positively to you. Smiling, even when you feel like it's the last thing you want to do, can also make you feel more confident when you approach people and go about your day. Smiling will also make people feel more able to come up to you, and you could be inviting a new friend or a new opportunity to come your way just by moving your lips. There's no reason not to smile more, no matter how down you're feeling!\\n3-4. Don't be afraid to ask for help.\\nBeing self-confident doesn't mean you have to be a jack-of-all trades who is amazing at every little thing he does. But it does mean that you're the kind of person who can admit when you can't do something on your own. There's a pride and confidence that comes from knowing when you're out of your element, and if you ask for help when it's needed, you'll not only be able to accomplish more, but you'll feel proud of yourself for making the effort to approach someone and asking for guidance.\\nIf you ask people for help, they'll be more likely to ask you for help in return, and you'll see how needed you really are.\\n3-5. Learn to live in the present.\\nIf you lack self-confidence, you may find yourself dwelling on actions of the past or worrying about the outcomes of future actions. Living more in the moment can help you be at-peace with the way things are now. This can help you feel happier and more relaxed, but it can also be a difficult habit to cultivate.\\nLearning to let go of worry for the future and accept what has happened in the past can help you live in the present.\\nPractice yoga or mindful mediation. This can also help you live in the present.\\nTips\\nWalk with your head up, keep your shoulders straight, and look directly in front of you.\\nEach night before sleeping, speak positively to yourself.\\nDo your best to make a good impression on people who do not know you and see you for the first time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You may think that having self-confidence is like having blue eyes. Either you're born with it or you're not. Well, if you have that kind of mindset and you lack self-confidence, then you're bound to accept failure. It's time to shed the idea that not just anyone can develop confidence and to work on changing your mindset, as well as your actions, to be on the way to developing the faith and trust in yourself that you have been lacking. If you want to know how to be more self-confident, see Step 1 to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting in the Right Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be proud of your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be self-confident, then the first thing you have to do is to think about all of the things you already have going for you. You may feel like there's nothing good about you, that you have no redeeming qualities, and that everyone around you is somehow better-looking and more impressive than you are. Well, all of that has to go out the window if you're determined to change! Make a list of all of the things you're good at, from being a good listener to having a great singing voice. Then, write them on sticky notes and put them on your mirror or somewhere you'll see them every day. These qualities may not mean much to you, but you have to think about the fact that you do have plenty of things to be proud of.\\nIf you really like the list idea, then you can even keep the list handy. Add to it whenever you think, \\\"Oh, right, there's something else I'm good at...\\\" When you're feeling low or like you're not worth much, read it over and you'll feel better.\\nTalk to a close friend about it. Ask your friend what he or she thinks your strengths are. Your friend may come up with something that you never even considered because it was right before your eyes!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work to be an optimist.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, optimism, like Rome, cannot be built in a day, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it to start building a foundation of positive thinking and an expectation for the best. Optimism and confidence often go hand in hand, because people who are hopeful for the future and expect good things to happen tend to think that good things will happen to them if they go out into the world or just try hard enough. Practice monitoring your thoughts to see how many of them are negative, and work to counteract every negative thought with at least three positive ones. With enough hard work, you'll soon be able to see the world in a more favorable light.\\nThe next time you're with your friends, practice talking about the exciting things in your life or the things you have to look forward to, and you'll see that people will respond better to you, and that you'll find yourself in a better mood.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be prepared.\", \"描述\": \"Being prepared for any situation -- within reason -- can also help you be self-confident. If you're walking into a math test, you better have put in the hours of studying necessary to succeed. If you're giving a presentation in front of class, you should have practiced until you got it down cold. If you're going to a party, you should learn as much as you can about it, such as who will be there, when it starts, and other details, so you feel like there are less X factors when you walk into the room. While it's impossible to be 100% prepared for any situation -- which is part of the fun and mystery of life -- it can certainly help to feel like you have a sense of what you signed up for.\\nIf you're in a group setting and feel like you have something to contribute, then you'll feel more self-confident than if you just hang back, listening to everyone else's opinions. You don't have to chatter constantly to build your confidence, but you should talk often enough that you feel like you have many worthwhile things to say.\\nYou can cultivate things to contribute by reading interesting articles, watching the news, or doing research about current events or things that interest you. Bring up a topic that you have researched in a conversation and see where it goes. Having information to back what you say will help you feel more confident in a conversation.\\nIf you know something or have a particular skill-- anything from how to build furniture to how to choose the right pair of shoes for prom-- people may turn to you for help. You can build a lot of confidence by helping others and seeing that they have something to gain from you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stop comparing yourself to other people.\", \"描述\": \"You need to focus on yourself and how to reach the goals you want to reach instead of peeking over at your neighbor and wondering why you can't be as attractive/smart/confident as he is. Be kind to yourself and focus on your own dreams and goals, and be proud of yourself for accomplishing them.\\nRealize that it’s common to idealize the lives of others from what you see. In other words, you don’t see the whole picture of a person’s life from casual interactions.\\nIf you begin comparing yourself to someone else, stop and refocus on yourself. Identify ways in which you are successful, happy, or improving your situation.\\nPeople who lack confidence are constantly questioning themselves and the world around them. Leave less room for doubt by feeling capable of the task that lies ahead of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get rid of as many sources of negativity as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, it may be impossible to get rid of every little thing that is making you feel down about yourself, but you can definitely make an effort to surround yourself with positive people and situations where you feel good about yourself. Here are some things to consider:\\nIf you feel bad about your body or general appearance because you're always flipping through celebrity magazines or watching television, then try to divorce yourself from that culture as much as you can.\\nIf you spend time with a friend, family member, or significant other who is always making you feel worthless, then it's time to question your relationship. You can try to make changes to your relationship by using assertive communication to address the way the person makes you feel. If the relationship doesn’t or can’t improve, you may need to make the decision to end or limit your time with the person.\\nIf you play a sport that you really hate and feel like you've put in all of the effort you can and still nothing works out, then it may be time to find another club that suits your needs better; this is not to say that you should quit whenever the going gets tough, but that you should learn to recognize when something's just not working for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Putting It into Action\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embrace the unknown.\", \"描述\": \"If you have trouble with self-confidence, then doing something completely new and different probably doesn't exactly excite you. Well, it's time to be brave and venture forth to do something you never expected to do. This could be introducing yourself to a new group of people at a party, signing up for a dance class though you have two left feet, or applying for a job that sounds fantastic but overwhelming. The more you get into the habit of trying new things, the more secure you'll feel, because you'll get the sense that you can handle any curve ball life may throw at you. Here are some other great ways to embrace the unknown:\\nStart small. Strike up a conversation with someone you see a lot but never talk to, such as the guy who sits next to you in math class or your neighbor.\\nPlan a trip to a new place, even if it's just a city 50 miles (80 km) away from your hometown. Get in the habit of going new places and seeing new things.\\nTry your hand at learning a foreign language. Doing something that feels completely unfamiliar to you is fun and can build your confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take more risks.\", \"描述\": \"Taking (reasonable) risks is related to embracing the unknown and asserting yourself as an individual. If you want to be more self-confident, then you have to not only try new things, but you have to be up for doing something that feels a little bit scary or uncertain to you. Not every risk you take will lead to something great, but it will get you into the habit of putting yourself out there and seeing what happens. Taking risks will make you feel like you aren't confined to the small set of things you already feel comfortable with and that you are capable of anything.\\nStep out of your comfort zone at least once a day. This could mean talking to your crush -- or even asking him or her out, if you've worked up the courage!\\nIf you're unhappy at work but feel afraid to leave, try applying to just one job. Even if nothing comes of it, you'll see that the risk you took wasn't all that scary.\\nConfront your fear, while you're at it. While you don't have to bungee jump if you're afraid of heights, you can take an elevator to the top of a ten-story building and look out a window. You'll see that you really can overcome whatever is holding you back.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Maintaining positive influences can be even more beneficial to building your self-confidence than cutting out negative influences. If you spend a lot of time with people who are supportive and offer stress- and drama- free social support, you will benefit by feeling more confident about yourself and dealing with your emotions more effectively. Make a habit of spending as much time with people who treat you well as you can.\\nHanging out with people who are self-confident can also be a big help. Instead of being jealous of those people, study them and ask yourself, \\\"What do they do differently than me, and how can I cultivate a similar manner?\\\" You'll find that the people who are confident aren't necessarily \\\"better\\\" than you in anything -- except having a positive outlook about themselves.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Cultivate a hobby.\", \"描述\": \"Having something that you’re good at—or better yet, passionate about—can help you feel well-rounded and happier. This can give you a boost in confidence. Having a hobby can stimulate your creativity, which translates to other situations such as the workplace and your social interactions as well. Furthermore, a hobby can help cultivate the social support that is beneficial to your emotional well-being.\\nBe sure that you allow yourself to set aside time for your hobby or activity that makes you happy. This can be difficult for people who have a lot of work or familial commitments, but it is important.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show confidence in your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Stand up tall; having great posture can go a long way in making you appear and feel more confident. If you slouch all the time, that's sending yourself and the people around you a signal that you're not happy with who you are and want to be smaller than you appear to be. Instead, keep your back straight and your shoulders pulled back with your chest out.\\nDon't cross your arms over your chest, either. Keep them at your sides or use them to gesture. This will make you look more approachable and to feel more open.\\nMake natural eye contact when you talk to people. If you look people in the eye, that's sending a message that you're comfortable talking to them on an even level, and that you're open to new ideas.\\nMaking eye contact with people can also help you keep your head up. Looking down at the ground or at your feet all the time is another thing that can make you both look and feel less confident.\\nYou should also walk with strong, confident strides instead of shuffling or dragging your feet. This will help you look and feel more confident as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Put time into your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"If you spend enough time on your appearance to show that you care about yourself, you will see that you'll start to view yourself more positively. If you want to be more self-confident, then you should make sure to practice good hygiene, to shower daily, to comb your hair, and to wear clothes that are clean and free of wrinkles. If you don’t care for your physical appearance, you’re communicating to yourself and others that you do not feel as though you are worth the time it takes to practice self-care.\\nIf you look in the mirror and see a person who is well-groomed, you'll be much more likely to value yourself.\\nWear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. This likely means clothing that fits you (at your current size) and has a flattering look that fits with your personality.\\nThis doesn't mean you should put on a ton of makeup or wear clothes that make you feel like you're being someone else. You should always be yourself -- just a clean, hygienic version of yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Continuing to Grow\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn from failure.\", \"描述\": \"People who are self-confident are not a wild success at everything they try. But the people who are self-confident do embrace failure and learn from their mistakes instead of giving up on anything that doesn't go their way. The next time you don't do well on a math test, don't get hired after an interview, or get rejected by a date, don't let this discourage you from asking yourself what went wrong and how you can learn from it. Of course, some of the time, you may just be a victim of bad luck, but it's important to feel as in control of every situation as you can so that you can do better the next time.\\nThe mantra, \\\"If at first you don't succeed...\\\" really is true. Think of how boring life would be if you were the best at everything you tried. Instead, look at failure as an opportunity to prove yourself the next time around.\\nThe important thing is to learn where you went wrong along with accepting when something was just dumb luck.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise more.\", \"描述\": \"Though exercise alone won't make you feel like a million dollars, getting in the habit of exercising for at least 30 minutes daily, or just a few times a week, can go a long way in making you feel both mentally and physically better about yourself. Exercise builds endorphins and will physiologically make you feel better about yourself and the world, while also providing your body with valuable benefits. It's a win-win situation, and making a goal of exercising as much as is comfortable for you can help you feel more self-confident.\\nYou can even use exercise as an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and to try something new. Maybe you've been scared about trying yoga or taking a Zumba class, but once you sign up, you'll find that it wasn't as scary as it sounded.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile more.\", \"描述\": \"It's been proven that smiling will not only make you happier, but it will make the people around you react more positively to you. Smiling, even when you feel like it's the last thing you want to do, can also make you feel more confident when you approach people and go about your day. Smiling will also make people feel more able to come up to you, and you could be inviting a new friend or a new opportunity to come your way just by moving your lips. There's no reason not to smile more, no matter how down you're feeling!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to ask for help.\", \"描述\": \"Being self-confident doesn't mean you have to be a jack-of-all trades who is amazing at every little thing he does. But it does mean that you're the kind of person who can admit when you can't do something on your own. There's a pride and confidence that comes from knowing when you're out of your element, and if you ask for help when it's needed, you'll not only be able to accomplish more, but you'll feel proud of yourself for making the effort to approach someone and asking for guidance.\\nIf you ask people for help, they'll be more likely to ask you for help in return, and you'll see how needed you really are.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to live in the present.\", \"描述\": \"If you lack self-confidence, you may find yourself dwelling on actions of the past or worrying about the outcomes of future actions. Living more in the moment can help you be at-peace with the way things are now. This can help you feel happier and more relaxed, but it can also be a difficult habit to cultivate.\\nLearning to let go of worry for the future and accept what has happened in the past can help you live in the present.\\nPractice yoga or mindful mediation. This can also help you live in the present.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Walk with your head up, keep your shoulders straight, and look directly in front of you.\\n\", \"Each night before sleeping, speak positively to yourself.\\n\", \"Do your best to make a good impression on people who do not know you and see you for the first time.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,137 | How to Be Self Employed | 1. Choosing a Business Model
1-1. Form a company.
You might want to start a company if you have an original business idea, if you have found a service gap in your area, or if you have a skill that is in high demand and would like control over your own schedule. Your company can be a sole proprietorship, a partnership, a corporation, an S corporation, or a Limited Liability Company (LLC).
To start your own company, you will need a business plan, a product or service, and startup funds.
1-2. Open a franchise.
If you would like to have your own business but would like the safety of a proven model, consider opening a franchise. Your franchiser will offer training, support, and a tried business model and policies.
Do not invest in a franchise unless you can afford to potentially lose your entire investment while committed to a multi-year contract. Opening a franchise means sticking to your contract for the years specified, even if you are not turning a profit.
1-3. Become an independent contractor.
Independent contractors are freelancers, consultants, and other workers who are not employees. Independent contractors have more freedom to determine their own schedules than employees, but are liable for health insurance and paying self-employment taxes.
Highly skilled professionals such as accountants and engineers are often independent contractors. So are skilled laborers such as truckers, construction workers, and art models.
1-4. Use what you have.
There are myriad ways to work for yourself using the skills and resources you already have. Become a dog-walker, a junk-hauler, a bicycle-delivery person, a freelance writer, a babysitter or a web developer. If you are looking to start your business quickly, take stock of your skillset and go from there.
Work for an App. One quick way to get a job as an independent contractor is to sign up with a rapidly-expanding company with minimum requirements for hiring. Airbnb hosts and Uber drivers are independent contractors.
2. Setting Up Your Business
2-1. Write a business plan.
If you are going into business with someone else, or if you are expecting to attract investors, you will need a formal business plan. This should include a summary of your business plan, a description of your company, an analysis of the market you are entering, a description of your company's structure, a description of your service or product, a statement on marketing strategy, financial projections, and, if you showing this to investors, a request for funds.
Your business plan will start with the summary, but you should write it last.
If you are working only with yourself, it still pays to write up your business goals, your projected profits, and the steps you plan to take toward achieving them.
2-2. Choose a location.
If you need an office space or a storefront, find it. If you are not ready to commit to a rental, or if you are planning on working from home, you can register your house as a home office. There may be exceptions for some forms of company in some states. Post office boxes are generally considered bad form for businesses, and may not fulfill legal requirements for some business models.
Independent contractors are not required to register a business address.
2-3. Finance your business.
Determine how much money you need to start your business. Make a budget that accounts for permit and license fees, rent, retirement plans, insurance, an initial purchase of goods, and anyone you will need to hire. Search for business start up expense calculators. To make the money you will need, apply for loans and private and government-sponsored grants. Pursue venture capital by offering shares to investors.
Apply for a loan with your bank or with the Small Business Administration: [1]
If you are starting a low-cost business such as lawn-mowing or babysitting, you may not need any financing at all.
2-4. Register a name.
If you are forming a company, you will need a name. Think of something distinctive that describes the services you are offering. Search for your company's name in the Department of State Business Registry under "Corporate Name Availability" to make sure nobody else has used it. Every state maintains its own list of business names and the departments that control these lists go by different names. The state Secretary is often in charge of managing this list. Once you know your name is original, register it with the appropriate department.
Register through the Department of State Website, or mail in your form to the address they give.
Comply with legal requirements for your business structure. If you form an LLC, for example, you may be required to include the abbreviation "LLC" in your company's name.
2-5. Register with the Department of Revenue.
If you want your company to have employees, or sell goods and collect sales tax, you’ll need to register with the Department of Revenue. Go to your state's Department of Revenue and register there.
If you are the only member of your new business, and will not collect sales tax, you will pay self-employment tax instead.
3. Choosing a Business Structure
3-1. Consider forming a sole proprietorship.
If you open an unincorporated business alone, you are a sole proprietor. Sole proprietors are responsible for paying the entirety of their company's taxes, but reap the entirety of profits earned. Consider founding a sole proprietorship if you would like to answer only to yourself and can personally afford financial setbacks.
Sole proprietors are not the same as sole members. If you are the sole member of a domestic limited liability company (LLC), but choose to classify the LLC as a corporation, you are not a sole proprietor.
3-2. Form a partnership if you want to work with someone else.
If you would like to share gains, losses, responsibilities and labor with one or more people, consider a partnership. Like a sole proprietorship, owners of a partnership pay individual taxes. If you would like to be your own boss but be responsible to an equal, a partnership is an excellent model.
Employees do not count as partners, or vice versa.
3-3. Choose a Limited Liability Company (LLC) structure over a corporation.
An LLC combines many of the advantages of sole proprietorships/partnerships and corporations for its owners. If you own an LLC, you are considered a "member." Most states allow single-member LLCs, as well as partnerships. If you form an LLC, you will be protected from personal liability for business debts as if you were corporation.
Additionally, you will not be required to pay corporate taxes. LLC owners pay personal taxes, much like owners of partnerships and sole proprietorships.
3-4. Consider forming a corporation.
An LLC (limited liability corporation) is cheaper to run, but there are also reasons to incorporate. For example, you may choose to form a corporation if you want to be able to offer stock options. This can help you attract investors and highly skilled employees. Corporations are taxed at a lower rate than individuals, so you can save money on a highly profitable business by keeping profits inside the business. However, profits in a corporation are taxed at a corporate level, then the profits are taxed again at a personal level when they are distributed to owners in the form of dividends. Therefore, the actual taxes might be greater than they would be if paid on a pass through basis.
If you are an independent contractor and your clients want you to be incorporated so that you do not show up in their tax records as an employee, you might choose to incorporate.
3-5. See if you might count as an S corporation.
If you form an S corporation, you pass financial gains, losses, deductions and credits to your shareholders. You and your shareholders will be taxed as individuals, and your corporation will not be taxed.
To qualify as an S corporation, the company you form must be domestic, have no more than 100 shareholders, and have only one class of stock. Other restrictions may apply.
4. Paying Self-Employment Taxes
4-1. Get an EIN.
Request an EIN if your company has more than one owner or member, if you plan to hire any employees, or if you choose to be taxed as a corporation rather than an independent contractor or sole proprietorship. Get your EIN through the IRS website. Your EIN is free.
4-2. Pay quarterly estimated taxes.
Self-employed people must pay quarterly estimated taxes throughout the year. Failure to pay your estimated taxes so may result in a penalty. To pay quarterly estimated taxes, fill out form 1040 ES: [2]
Due dates for estimated taxes are April 15th, June 15th, September 15th, and January 15th.
If you are an independent contractor, the companies you work for will send you a 1099-MISC instead of a W2. You must still pay quarterly estimated taxes.
4-3. Track your expenses.
Keep a separate bank account for your work, and track any expenses related to it (cell phone, gas money, website maintenance). If you work from home, you may qualify for a home office deduction.
You can get a deduction for anything you spend money on for business that is "ordinary and necessary." This includes salaries and taxes you pay as well as insurance costs.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing a Business Model\\n1-1. Form a company.\\nYou might want to start a company if you have an original business idea, if you have found a service gap in your area, or if you have a skill that is in high demand and would like control over your own schedule. Your company can be a sole proprietorship, a partnership, a corporation, an S corporation, or a Limited Liability Company (LLC).\\nTo start your own company, you will need a business plan, a product or service, and startup funds.\\n1-2. Open a franchise.\\nIf you would like to have your own business but would like the safety of a proven model, consider opening a franchise. Your franchiser will offer training, support, and a tried business model and policies.\\nDo not invest in a franchise unless you can afford to potentially lose your entire investment while committed to a multi-year contract. Opening a franchise means sticking to your contract for the years specified, even if you are not turning a profit.\\n1-3. Become an independent contractor.\\nIndependent contractors are freelancers, consultants, and other workers who are not employees. Independent contractors have more freedom to determine their own schedules than employees, but are liable for health insurance and paying self-employment taxes.\\nHighly skilled professionals such as accountants and engineers are often independent contractors. So are skilled laborers such as truckers, construction workers, and art models.\\n1-4. Use what you have.\\nThere are myriad ways to work for yourself using the skills and resources you already have. Become a dog-walker, a junk-hauler, a bicycle-delivery person, a freelance writer, a babysitter or a web developer. If you are looking to start your business quickly, take stock of your skillset and go from there.\\nWork for an App. One quick way to get a job as an independent contractor is to sign up with a rapidly-expanding company with minimum requirements for hiring. Airbnb hosts and Uber drivers are independent contractors.\\n2. Setting Up Your Business\\n2-1. Write a business plan.\\nIf you are going into business with someone else, or if you are expecting to attract investors, you will need a formal business plan. This should include a summary of your business plan, a description of your company, an analysis of the market you are entering, a description of your company's structure, a description of your service or product, a statement on marketing strategy, financial projections, and, if you showing this to investors, a request for funds.\\nYour business plan will start with the summary, but you should write it last.\\nIf you are working only with yourself, it still pays to write up your business goals, your projected profits, and the steps you plan to take toward achieving them.\\n2-2. Choose a location.\\nIf you need an office space or a storefront, find it. If you are not ready to commit to a rental, or if you are planning on working from home, you can register your house as a home office. There may be exceptions for some forms of company in some states. Post office boxes are generally considered bad form for businesses, and may not fulfill legal requirements for some business models.\\nIndependent contractors are not required to register a business address.\\n2-3. Finance your business.\\nDetermine how much money you need to start your business. Make a budget that accounts for permit and license fees, rent, retirement plans, insurance, an initial purchase of goods, and anyone you will need to hire. Search for business start up expense calculators. To make the money you will need, apply for loans and private and government-sponsored grants. Pursue venture capital by offering shares to investors.\\nApply for a loan with your bank or with the Small Business Administration: [1]\\nIf you are starting a low-cost business such as lawn-mowing or babysitting, you may not need any financing at all.\\n2-4. Register a name.\\nIf you are forming a company, you will need a name. Think of something distinctive that describes the services you are offering. Search for your company's name in the Department of State Business Registry under \\\"Corporate Name Availability\\\" to make sure nobody else has used it. Every state maintains its own list of business names and the departments that control these lists go by different names. The state Secretary is often in charge of managing this list. Once you know your name is original, register it with the appropriate department.\\nRegister through the Department of State Website, or mail in your form to the address they give.\\nComply with legal requirements for your business structure. If you form an LLC, for example, you may be required to include the abbreviation \\\"LLC\\\" in your company's name.\\n2-5. Register with the Department of Revenue.\\nIf you want your company to have employees, or sell goods and collect sales tax, you’ll need to register with the Department of Revenue. Go to your state's Department of Revenue and register there.\\nIf you are the only member of your new business, and will not collect sales tax, you will pay self-employment tax instead.\\n3. Choosing a Business Structure\\n3-1. Consider forming a sole proprietorship.\\nIf you open an unincorporated business alone, you are a sole proprietor. Sole proprietors are responsible for paying the entirety of their company's taxes, but reap the entirety of profits earned. Consider founding a sole proprietorship if you would like to answer only to yourself and can personally afford financial setbacks.\\nSole proprietors are not the same as sole members. If you are the sole member of a domestic limited liability company (LLC), but choose to classify the LLC as a corporation, you are not a sole proprietor.\\n3-2. Form a partnership if you want to work with someone else.\\nIf you would like to share gains, losses, responsibilities and labor with one or more people, consider a partnership. Like a sole proprietorship, owners of a partnership pay individual taxes. If you would like to be your own boss but be responsible to an equal, a partnership is an excellent model.\\nEmployees do not count as partners, or vice versa.\\n3-3. Choose a Limited Liability Company (LLC) structure over a corporation.\\nAn LLC combines many of the advantages of sole proprietorships/partnerships and corporations for its owners. If you own an LLC, you are considered a \\\"member.\\\" Most states allow single-member LLCs, as well as partnerships. If you form an LLC, you will be protected from personal liability for business debts as if you were corporation.\\nAdditionally, you will not be required to pay corporate taxes. LLC owners pay personal taxes, much like owners of partnerships and sole proprietorships.\\n3-4. Consider forming a corporation.\\nAn LLC (limited liability corporation) is cheaper to run, but there are also reasons to incorporate. For example, you may choose to form a corporation if you want to be able to offer stock options. This can help you attract investors and highly skilled employees. Corporations are taxed at a lower rate than individuals, so you can save money on a highly profitable business by keeping profits inside the business. However, profits in a corporation are taxed at a corporate level, then the profits are taxed again at a personal level when they are distributed to owners in the form of dividends. Therefore, the actual taxes might be greater than they would be if paid on a pass through basis.\\nIf you are an independent contractor and your clients want you to be incorporated so that you do not show up in their tax records as an employee, you might choose to incorporate.\\n3-5. See if you might count as an S corporation.\\nIf you form an S corporation, you pass financial gains, losses, deductions and credits to your shareholders. You and your shareholders will be taxed as individuals, and your corporation will not be taxed.\\nTo qualify as an S corporation, the company you form must be domestic, have no more than 100 shareholders, and have only one class of stock. Other restrictions may apply.\\n4. Paying Self-Employment Taxes\\n4-1. Get an EIN.\\nRequest an EIN if your company has more than one owner or member, if you plan to hire any employees, or if you choose to be taxed as a corporation rather than an independent contractor or sole proprietorship. Get your EIN through the IRS website. Your EIN is free.\\n4-2. Pay quarterly estimated taxes.\\nSelf-employed people must pay quarterly estimated taxes throughout the year. Failure to pay your estimated taxes so may result in a penalty. To pay quarterly estimated taxes, fill out form 1040 ES: [2]\\nDue dates for estimated taxes are April 15th, June 15th, September 15th, and January 15th.\\nIf you are an independent contractor, the companies you work for will send you a 1099-MISC instead of a W2. You must still pay quarterly estimated taxes.\\n4-3. Track your expenses.\\nKeep a separate bank account for your work, and track any expenses related to it (cell phone, gas money, website maintenance). If you work from home, you may qualify for a home office deduction.\\nYou can get a deduction for anything you spend money on for business that is \\\"ordinary and necessary.\\\" This includes salaries and taxes you pay as well as insurance costs.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are many reasons to choose self-employment. You may be attracted to the notion of being your own boss. You may have a brilliant idea, a solid sense of an industry, or a natural flair for self-promotion. You may just need money right now. Make a solid plan using the options available to you, and learn your new tax responsibilities for the money you earn.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Business Model\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Form a company.\", \"描述\": \"You might want to start a company if you have an original business idea, if you have found a service gap in your area, or if you have a skill that is in high demand and would like control over your own schedule. Your company can be a sole proprietorship, a partnership, a corporation, an S corporation, or a Limited Liability Company (LLC).\\nTo start your own company, you will need a business plan, a product or service, and startup funds.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open a franchise.\", \"描述\": \"If you would like to have your own business but would like the safety of a proven model, consider opening a franchise. Your franchiser will offer training, support, and a tried business model and policies.\\nDo not invest in a franchise unless you can afford to potentially lose your entire investment while committed to a multi-year contract. Opening a franchise means sticking to your contract for the years specified, even if you are not turning a profit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Become an independent contractor.\", \"描述\": \"Independent contractors are freelancers, consultants, and other workers who are not employees. Independent contractors have more freedom to determine their own schedules than employees, but are liable for health insurance and paying self-employment taxes.\\nHighly skilled professionals such as accountants and engineers are often independent contractors. So are skilled laborers such as truckers, construction workers, and art models.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use what you have.\", \"描述\": \"There are myriad ways to work for yourself using the skills and resources you already have. Become a dog-walker, a junk-hauler, a bicycle-delivery person, a freelance writer, a babysitter or a web developer. If you are looking to start your business quickly, take stock of your skillset and go from there.\\nWork for an App. One quick way to get a job as an independent contractor is to sign up with a rapidly-expanding company with minimum requirements for hiring. Airbnb hosts and Uber drivers are independent contractors.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Setting Up Your Business\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write a business plan.\", \"描述\": \"If you are going into business with someone else, or if you are expecting to attract investors, you will need a formal business plan. This should include a summary of your business plan, a description of your company, an analysis of the market you are entering, a description of your company's structure, a description of your service or product, a statement on marketing strategy, financial projections, and, if you showing this to investors, a request for funds.\\nYour business plan will start with the summary, but you should write it last.\\nIf you are working only with yourself, it still pays to write up your business goals, your projected profits, and the steps you plan to take toward achieving them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose a location.\", \"描述\": \"If you need an office space or a storefront, find it. If you are not ready to commit to a rental, or if you are planning on working from home, you can register your house as a home office. There may be exceptions for some forms of company in some states. Post office boxes are generally considered bad form for businesses, and may not fulfill legal requirements for some business models.\\nIndependent contractors are not required to register a business address.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finance your business.\", \"描述\": \"Determine how much money you need to start your business. Make a budget that accounts for permit and license fees, rent, retirement plans, insurance, an initial purchase of goods, and anyone you will need to hire. Search for business start up expense calculators. To make the money you will need, apply for loans and private and government-sponsored grants. Pursue venture capital by offering shares to investors.\\nApply for a loan with your bank or with the Small Business Administration: [1]\\nIf you are starting a low-cost business such as lawn-mowing or babysitting, you may not need any financing at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Register a name.\", \"描述\": \"If you are forming a company, you will need a name. Think of something distinctive that describes the services you are offering. Search for your company's name in the Department of State Business Registry under \\\"Corporate Name Availability\\\" to make sure nobody else has used it. Every state maintains its own list of business names and the departments that control these lists go by different names. The state Secretary is often in charge of managing this list. Once you know your name is original, register it with the appropriate department.\\nRegister through the Department of State Website, or mail in your form to the address they give.\\nComply with legal requirements for your business structure. If you form an LLC, for example, you may be required to include the abbreviation \\\"LLC\\\" in your company's name.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Register with the Department of Revenue.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your company to have employees, or sell goods and collect sales tax, you’ll need to register with the Department of Revenue. Go to your state's Department of Revenue and register there.\\nIf you are the only member of your new business, and will not collect sales tax, you will pay self-employment tax instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Business Structure\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider forming a sole proprietorship.\", \"描述\": \"If you open an unincorporated business alone, you are a sole proprietor. Sole proprietors are responsible for paying the entirety of their company's taxes, but reap the entirety of profits earned. Consider founding a sole proprietorship if you would like to answer only to yourself and can personally afford financial setbacks.\\nSole proprietors are not the same as sole members. If you are the sole member of a domestic limited liability company (LLC), but choose to classify the LLC as a corporation, you are not a sole proprietor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Form a partnership if you want to work with someone else.\", \"描述\": \"If you would like to share gains, losses, responsibilities and labor with one or more people, consider a partnership. Like a sole proprietorship, owners of a partnership pay individual taxes. If you would like to be your own boss but be responsible to an equal, a partnership is an excellent model.\\nEmployees do not count as partners, or vice versa.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose a Limited Liability Company (LLC) structure over a corporation.\", \"描述\": \"An LLC combines many of the advantages of sole proprietorships/partnerships and corporations for its owners. If you own an LLC, you are considered a \\\"member.\\\" Most states allow single-member LLCs, as well as partnerships. If you form an LLC, you will be protected from personal liability for business debts as if you were corporation.\\nAdditionally, you will not be required to pay corporate taxes. LLC owners pay personal taxes, much like owners of partnerships and sole proprietorships.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider forming a corporation.\", \"描述\": \"An LLC (limited liability corporation) is cheaper to run, but there are also reasons to incorporate. For example, you may choose to form a corporation if you want to be able to offer stock options. This can help you attract investors and highly skilled employees. Corporations are taxed at a lower rate than individuals, so you can save money on a highly profitable business by keeping profits inside the business. However, profits in a corporation are taxed at a corporate level, then the profits are taxed again at a personal level when they are distributed to owners in the form of dividends. Therefore, the actual taxes might be greater than they would be if paid on a pass through basis.\\nIf you are an independent contractor and your clients want you to be incorporated so that you do not show up in their tax records as an employee, you might choose to incorporate.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"See if you might count as an S corporation.\", \"描述\": \"If you form an S corporation, you pass financial gains, losses, deductions and credits to your shareholders. You and your shareholders will be taxed as individuals, and your corporation will not be taxed.\\nTo qualify as an S corporation, the company you form must be domestic, have no more than 100 shareholders, and have only one class of stock. Other restrictions may apply.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Paying Self-Employment Taxes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get an EIN.\", \"描述\": \"Request an EIN if your company has more than one owner or member, if you plan to hire any employees, or if you choose to be taxed as a corporation rather than an independent contractor or sole proprietorship. Get your EIN through the IRS website. Your EIN is free.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay quarterly estimated taxes.\", \"描述\": \"Self-employed people must pay quarterly estimated taxes throughout the year. Failure to pay your estimated taxes so may result in a penalty. To pay quarterly estimated taxes, fill out form 1040 ES: [2]\\nDue dates for estimated taxes are April 15th, June 15th, September 15th, and January 15th.\\nIf you are an independent contractor, the companies you work for will send you a 1099-MISC instead of a W2. You must still pay quarterly estimated taxes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Track your expenses.\", \"描述\": \"Keep a separate bank account for your work, and track any expenses related to it (cell phone, gas money, website maintenance). If you work from home, you may qualify for a home office deduction.\\nYou can get a deduction for anything you spend money on for business that is \\\"ordinary and necessary.\\\" This includes salaries and taxes you pay as well as insurance costs.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,138 | How to Be Self Learning | 1. Lean into your internal sense of motivation.
In order to be motivated, make sure you really want to learn something.
If you do not want to learn for learning's sake, become clear about the reason why you want to learn something and try to imagine how it is, when your learning was successful. Maybe you'll find out, that you don't want to learn that thing, so at least you can save some time. If you don't really want to learn it, the time spent on trying to learn it will be mostly wasted.
2. Gather your materials.
Take a look at the information you have at the moment:
does it provide you enough stuff to learn? If so, start learning, else gather at least as much information as you need to begin learning. Some people may like it more if they have all the information they want to learn, but it is also possible, that you become discouraged by too much information, so find out how you feel most comfortable.
Study and learn in a quiet place without distractions so you can focus better.
3. Experiment.
When possible, do experimental stuff first, because it helps you to get into the topic.
Physicists for example often try to explain why something works like they've seen in the experiment, so it would be good if you can do the experiment on your own, make a thought-experiment or get a video of that experiment. Although in some fields like mathematics concrete examples may lead off-road, in most cases it will help you to understand what's that stuff all about. It's not beneficial to learn some formulae, statistics or dates if you can not imagine what they describe.
4. Practice.
If there is anything you can practice, maybe if you try to learn dancing some steps or in school exercises just do them.
Although it may be tempting to rush through them, for somebody inexperienced it is better to do the exercises in a moderate pace and careful. This prevents sloppy technique or bad habits, which are much harder to correct than small mistakes at the beginning.
5. Get mentorship.
Get more experienced people to judge you.
Beside they can correct your mistakes, they - maybe even more important - can tell you when you are already doing something well, which can be very motivating.
6. Diversify your knowledge.
One of the most common mistakes is that people concentrate either on the practical or on the theoretical aspects of something.
This only leads to stereotypes like the stupid sportsman or the nonathletic nerd. However, it is also very ineffective, because you probably don't use your whole brain, but only the left side or the motoric part. Having an open mind also helps to see connections to things you already like, thus increasing comprehension and motivation.
7. Invest time.
The best learning strategy doesn't help if you don't spend a decent amount of time in it.
According to the topic it even may be enough just to spend everyday half an hour on some exercises or texts. Special learning techniques can make learning easier, but they still require work done by you.
8. Organize your learning.
At the end of a session, review what you have accomplished.
Then, wrap up by preparing the next session with some questions or tasks, so the next time you can just start working! This can help decrease the risk of procrastination.
9. Look into SRS.
SRS means Spaced Repetition System (Anki is a good one to try).
An SRS is essentially a computer managed flash card system. Instead of looking at an entire deck of cards including things you already know really well, the computer will remember how well you answer and only show you cards when you are likely to be about to forget them, allowing you to use your time much more efficiently and learn much more.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Lean into your internal sense of motivation.\\nIn order to be motivated, make sure you really want to learn something.\\nIf you do not want to learn for learning's sake, become clear about the reason why you want to learn something and try to imagine how it is, when your learning was successful. Maybe you'll find out, that you don't want to learn that thing, so at least you can save some time. If you don't really want to learn it, the time spent on trying to learn it will be mostly wasted.\\n2. Gather your materials.\\nTake a look at the information you have at the moment:\\ndoes it provide you enough stuff to learn? If so, start learning, else gather at least as much information as you need to begin learning. Some people may like it more if they have all the information they want to learn, but it is also possible, that you become discouraged by too much information, so find out how you feel most comfortable.\\nStudy and learn in a quiet place without distractions so you can focus better.\\n3. Experiment.\\nWhen possible, do experimental stuff first, because it helps you to get into the topic.\\nPhysicists for example often try to explain why something works like they've seen in the experiment, so it would be good if you can do the experiment on your own, make a thought-experiment or get a video of that experiment. Although in some fields like mathematics concrete examples may lead off-road, in most cases it will help you to understand what's that stuff all about. It's not beneficial to learn some formulae, statistics or dates if you can not imagine what they describe.\\n4. Practice.\\nIf there is anything you can practice, maybe if you try to learn dancing some steps or in school exercises just do them.\\nAlthough it may be tempting to rush through them, for somebody inexperienced it is better to do the exercises in a moderate pace and careful. This prevents sloppy technique or bad habits, which are much harder to correct than small mistakes at the beginning.\\n5. Get mentorship.\\nGet more experienced people to judge you.\\nBeside they can correct your mistakes, they - maybe even more important - can tell you when you are already doing something well, which can be very motivating.\\n6. Diversify your knowledge.\\nOne of the most common mistakes is that people concentrate either on the practical or on the theoretical aspects of something.\\nThis only leads to stereotypes like the stupid sportsman or the nonathletic nerd. However, it is also very ineffective, because you probably don't use your whole brain, but only the left side or the motoric part. Having an open mind also helps to see connections to things you already like, thus increasing comprehension and motivation.\\n7. Invest time.\\nThe best learning strategy doesn't help if you don't spend a decent amount of time in it.\\nAccording to the topic it even may be enough just to spend everyday half an hour on some exercises or texts. Special learning techniques can make learning easier, but they still require work done by you.\\n8. Organize your learning.\\nAt the end of a session, review what you have accomplished.\\nThen, wrap up by preparing the next session with some questions or tasks, so the next time you can just start working! This can help decrease the risk of procrastination.\\n9. Look into SRS.\\nSRS means Spaced Repetition System (Anki is a good one to try).\\nAn SRS is essentially a computer managed flash card system. Instead of looking at an entire deck of cards including things you already know really well, the computer will remember how well you answer and only show you cards when you are likely to be about to forget them, allowing you to use your time much more efficiently and learn much more.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Propelling your own learning can seem like a daunting process at first. However, it's not as challenging as it seems! With clear structure, an awareness of your learning styles, and an internal sense of motivation you can set yourself up for learning success without a teacher. Read on to learn some effective methods of self-study.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lean into your internal sense of motivation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"In order to be motivated, make sure you really want to learn something.\", \"描述\": \"If you do not want to learn for learning's sake, become clear about the reason why you want to learn something and try to imagine how it is, when your learning was successful. Maybe you'll find out, that you don't want to learn that thing, so at least you can save some time. If you don't really want to learn it, the time spent on trying to learn it will be mostly wasted.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Gather your materials.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a look at the information you have at the moment:\", \"描述\": \"does it provide you enough stuff to learn? If so, start learning, else gather at least as much information as you need to begin learning. Some people may like it more if they have all the information they want to learn, but it is also possible, that you become discouraged by too much information, so find out how you feel most comfortable.\\nStudy and learn in a quiet place without distractions so you can focus better.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Experiment.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When possible, do experimental stuff first, because it helps you to get into the topic.\", \"描述\": \"Physicists for example often try to explain why something works like they've seen in the experiment, so it would be good if you can do the experiment on your own, make a thought-experiment or get a video of that experiment. Although in some fields like mathematics concrete examples may lead off-road, in most cases it will help you to understand what's that stuff all about. It's not beneficial to learn some formulae, statistics or dates if you can not imagine what they describe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If there is anything you can practice, maybe if you try to learn dancing some steps or in school exercises just do them.\", \"描述\": \"Although it may be tempting to rush through them, for somebody inexperienced it is better to do the exercises in a moderate pace and careful. This prevents sloppy technique or bad habits, which are much harder to correct than small mistakes at the beginning.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get mentorship.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get more experienced people to judge you.\", \"描述\": \"Beside they can correct your mistakes, they - maybe even more important - can tell you when you are already doing something well, which can be very motivating.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Diversify your knowledge.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"One of the most common mistakes is that people concentrate either on the practical or on the theoretical aspects of something.\", \"描述\": \"This only leads to stereotypes like the stupid sportsman or the nonathletic nerd. However, it is also very ineffective, because you probably don't use your whole brain, but only the left side or the motoric part. Having an open mind also helps to see connections to things you already like, thus increasing comprehension and motivation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Invest time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The best learning strategy doesn't help if you don't spend a decent amount of time in it.\", \"描述\": \"According to the topic it even may be enough just to spend everyday half an hour on some exercises or texts. Special learning techniques can make learning easier, but they still require work done by you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Organize your learning.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"At the end of a session, review what you have accomplished.\", \"描述\": \"Then, wrap up by preparing the next session with some questions or tasks, so the next time you can just start working! This can help decrease the risk of procrastination.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Look into SRS.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"SRS means Spaced Repetition System (Anki is a good one to try).\", \"描述\": \"An SRS is essentially a computer managed flash card system. Instead of looking at an entire deck of cards including things you already know really well, the computer will remember how well you answer and only show you cards when you are likely to be about to forget them, allowing you to use your time much more efficiently and learn much more.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,139 | How to Be Self Motivated | 1. Getting in the Mindset
1-1. Get positive.
It's pretty hard to get anything done when we're stuck on thoughts like, "Ugh, life sucks and it's raining." Thoughts like those make us want to just curl up in our beds until someone physically drags us out. You can't do that! Positive thoughts are the only way you'll even find motivation in the first place.
If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, stop yourself — you have the power to say "Stop. Enough." and not finish the thought. Divert your attention elsewhere. Especially if you're thinking about your motivation! This task in front of you? It's doable and you have the ability to do it. Any other thinking will keep you from even trying.
Try reframing things in a positive way. Instead of being upset that it's raining and you can't go outside, try to look at the rain from a positive perspective. For instance, maybe it's been dry and the land really needs the rain. You might think, "Well, now I don't have to water my yard!" or, "This is a good opportunity for me slow down, relax, and stay in and read a book."
1-2. Get confident.
With thinking positive about your world, you have to think positive about you. If you think you're incapable, it'll seriously put a damper on the amount of effort you give this task. Why would you bother doing something you don't think you can do? Exactly. You won't.
To get started, count your successes. What do you have going for you? What have you done in the past that was awesome? What resources do you have at your disposal? Think of all the things you've achieved in the past. For what reason would you not be able to achieve what you want now?! You've done similar things before.
1-3. Get hungry.
When Les Brown talks about motivation, he repeats, "You got to be hungry!" What he's saying here is that you have to actually want it. You can't imagine a life without it. Thinking something would be nice, being full of velleities won't get you anywhere. Want it. If you don't really want it, what are you doing trying to motivate yourself?
Sometimes it involves a little twisting to convince yourself that you want it. Struggling getting to work? Well, is that a path to anything else? If you've been really hankering for a vacation to Hawaii, think about it like that. You really, really want to get to Hawaii -- and working will get you there. It's a lot easier to do something you don't want to do when you have a purpose in mind -- a purpose that you're hungry for.
1-4. Know setbacks will happen.
It's important to go into a behavior (possibly even a lifelong habit) knowing there will be failures along the way. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, having an all-or-nothing mentality will just leave you frustrated and tempted to give up. It can even make it harder to get started in the first place. Tell yourself that there will be times when you fail, and that's okay. You just have to know that you're capable of getting back up and, better yet, that you will.
Your failures or setbacks have nothing to do with you and everything to do with being human. They happen. Sometimes they'll happen because of you (not every decision can be stellar), but sometimes they'll happen because of circumstances that are beyond your control. Going into this with a level head will benefit you greatly in the end.
To help get yourself back on track faster, try making a plan ahead of time for what you'll do if a setback does happen.
2. Developing Momentum
2-1. Focus on positive goals.
It's simple to know what we don't want. It's simple to know what we're afraid of. Often it's harder to pinpoint what exactly would make us happy and what exactly we're striving for. However, to get anything done, we have to start thinking with positive goals, not negative fears. Instead of "I don't want to be poor," a better goal is "I'd like to save X amount of money each month." See how the latter is much, much more doable? And less scary!
Positive here doesn't mean radiating beams of sunshine. It means something you can do, something in the affirmative. A goal of "not being fat" is demotivating in itself. "Losing ten pounds through diet and exercise" is something that doesn't leave you frowning at the mere thought of it.
2-2. Keep it small.
Having lofty goals is tough. Instead of trying to change your whole life all at once, certified life coach Sydney Axelrod suggests making small shifts that will help you reach your goals. Break each goal down into a series of actionable steps that you can actually achieve. Then, keep making progress—you may be surprised how quickly you're able to see a difference in your life.
If your main goal is "I want to lose 50 pounds," break that down into something like, "I want to lose 2 pounds this week," or "I want to work out 4 or 5 days a week." These will warrant similar results but are easier on the mind.
2-3. Track your progress.
Since the dawn of time, humans have searched for purpose and direction. And this doesn't just have to do with existentialism -- we seek purpose in our jobs, relationships, and even hobbies. If something is unfulfilling, we don't do it. So whether you're losing weight, working overtime, or studying for college, track what you're doing! This will give you drive and show you the positive outcomes of your behavior. It will give you purpose.
Make sure to track your behaviors and their results. Not only do you need the results to look at and go, "Gee! I am awesome! Look at what I did!" you'll need the results to see what does and does not work for you. If you try three different methods of studying, three different workouts, etc., which one gave you the best results for your effort? You can then streamline and strategize from there.
2-4. Take breaks.
We are not machines (but even machines need breaks). Studies have shown that students who take breaks are more effective at studying. And it's common knowledge that our muscles need breaks, too. Breaks aren't for the lazy -- they're for those that know they want to keep going.
It's up to you to gauge when those breaks need to be. It also depends on what the ultimate end goal is. Not only should there be mini breaks in your day, but there need to be life breaks, too.
2-5. Do what you enjoy.
Most of us have jobs we aren't crazy about, workouts we don't want to do, and a to-do list that we'd pay other people to get completed. These things won't go away, so we have to make them as manageable and as enjoyable as possible. If you don't enjoy it, it may be there forever.
Think about your job. If it stinks, how can you make it better? Can you ask to work on a specific project that interests you? How can you focus your time on the aspects that you do like?
If working out is a bummer, find a different one! You don't have to be a marathon runner to burn calories. Go swimming, take a class, or go hiking. If you don't like the exercise you're doing, you won't stick with it.
2-6. Use rewards.
This is a point to be considered carefully. The last thing you want to do is to associate everything with a Snickers bar. However, rewards can be powerful when used sparingly and efficiently. When you've completed something, be sure to do something you deserve!
You cannot reward yourself for every 5 minutes of the activity you're trying to do. That'll just blow up your concentration and be time-consuming. However, even small goals, when met, should be rewarded. Did you work out every day this week? Great -- take a day to just do some yoga at home and watch a movie.
2-7. Don't be afraid of making mistakes.
In order to find the best way of achieving something, we often have to do things we've never done before. Mistakes will happen if you're growing and getting better. You can X them off your list of possibilities and narrow your path to action down from there. Technically, mistakes are a good thing. At the very least they serve a purpose.
There's also the fear of looking stupid that keeps a lot of people from trying things. Whether it's raising your hand in class or trying out that new equipment that you're not sure how to use, it's human nature to want to stay in our comfort zone. But for the most effective results, if you truly want to get good grades, to get thin, or to get started in that business, you got to do things you may not want to do.
On a similar thread, don't let the mistakes drag you down. It's too easy to make one, feel like we're so behind there's no point in trying anymore and just stop. But if you tell yourself it's not an option, it won't happen. Failing doesn't matter -- getting back on the horse is all that does.
3. Staying on Track
3-1. Keep motivators around you.
This one is pretty straightforward: we need reminders to keep ourselves going. These can be people or things -- whatever might keep you in the right mindset. It's natural to get off-balance and forget where we want to be -- these external motivators offer focus and direction. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, affirmations and mantras are other great ways to support and motivate yourself.
You can do a whole bunch of small things to get you in gear. Change your desktop background on your computer. Put a post-it note on your wall. A reminder on your phone. Utilize the hubbub around you and put it to your advantage.
To help yourself remember your affirmations, Axelrod suggests using a visual cue, like a note posted beside your bathroom mirror or a piece of jewelry that reminds you of your goals.
3-2. Keep good company.
Unfortunately, people can also be demotivating. We have that friend that desperately wants us to eat another piece of cheesecake. That person is not good company. To get going on our path to success, everyone needs cheerleaders along the way! Tell your friends and family what you're trying to stay motivated with. Do you have a few close people in your network that can help you focus and stay driven?
People can be motivators, too! Tell everyone you know that you're trying to lose 10 pounds. Hopefully they'll offer resources and make the path that much easier, in addition to holding you accountable.
Having a mentor that's been through the same things you have will be super useful. Do you know someone who's started their own business, lost 50 pounds, or otherwise achieved their dreams? Talk to them! How do they do it? Their perseverance and display of just how doable it is may be what you need to stay energized and motivated.
3-3. Keep learning.
As you go, you're likely to get bored, antsy, or lose attention. To avoid all these pitfalls, keep learning! Spice it up! It's hard to stay motivated on anything long-term. But if the goal keeps changing, if your knowledge keeps morphing, it'll be easier.
If you're aiming for weight loss, read success stories and blogs. Talk to trainers at your gym. Hit up a nutritionist. Tackle new elements (methods of training, dieting plans, etc.) one at a time. Keeping it fresh will keep your mind fresh.
3-4. Only compare you to you.
The best way to get demotivated and fast is to compare yourself to others. You'll never be them and they'll never be you, so what's the point? Though you've heard it a billion times before, it bears repeating: the only person you should compare yourself to is your previous self. It's only if you've improved that matters; not how anyone else is doing.
This is part of why tracking progress is so necessary. To know where you are, you need to know where you've been. If you've made progress, you have nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of what the competition is doing.
3-5. Help others.
When you're nearer your goals, odds are you've learned a lot from your work along the way. Use this knowledge to help others! Not only will it motivate you, but it will motivate them. Don't you wish you had someone to help you along your way?
Have you lost some weight, gotten your business started, or aced that test? Use what you know to help someone else and, better yet, drill it into you. Just like studying out loud and reciting your facts to someone else helps your understanding, helping someone else will keep you focused and feeling good about your progress.
3-6. Set larger goals.
Once you start hitting those small goals, there's nowhere to go but up! Start looking at the big picture -- focus on the end game. No more baby steps; it's time for the big leagues. Talk about motivation! You can practically start making the itinerary for Hawaii now! And you'll fit in that swimsuit, too!
Make sure to keep the end goal in mind or it'll start to feel far away and unachievable. Why have you gone to all this work anyway? You know exactly why -- and the light is at the end of the tunnel. What will you do when you reach this one? Onto the next, hopefully!
Tips
Speak as though you are already the way you want to be. Do not say "I am becoming positive"; "I am positive" is much better.
Positive affirmations repeated often will help you become strong. Choose one that fits with your problem. If you are scared, "I am safe." If you are shy, "I am a confident person." Avoid using negative words to stay focused.
The journey of unleashing your potential is truly a worthy one. During this journey, knowingly or unknowingly you will have helped many unleash their respective potential.
Warnings
Do NOT worry about the dumb things, because negative thoughts become negative habits, just as positive thoughts become positive habits.
Being self-motivated does not mean forcefully smiling and trying to please everyone.
Have courage to confront hurdles if you think you are right.
Be soft on yourself.
Do not beat yourself up if you suffer a lapse in your newfound pattern of self-motivation. You will get back on track. Be self-forgiving.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting in the Mindset\\n1-1. Get positive.\\nIt's pretty hard to get anything done when we're stuck on thoughts like, \\\"Ugh, life sucks and it's raining.\\\" Thoughts like those make us want to just curl up in our beds until someone physically drags us out. You can't do that! Positive thoughts are the only way you'll even find motivation in the first place.\\nIf you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, stop yourself — you have the power to say \\\"Stop. Enough.\\\" and not finish the thought. Divert your attention elsewhere. Especially if you're thinking about your motivation! This task in front of you? It's doable and you have the ability to do it. Any other thinking will keep you from even trying.\\nTry reframing things in a positive way. Instead of being upset that it's raining and you can't go outside, try to look at the rain from a positive perspective. For instance, maybe it's been dry and the land really needs the rain. You might think, \\\"Well, now I don't have to water my yard!\\\" or, \\\"This is a good opportunity for me slow down, relax, and stay in and read a book.\\\"\\n1-2. Get confident.\\nWith thinking positive about your world, you have to think positive about you. If you think you're incapable, it'll seriously put a damper on the amount of effort you give this task. Why would you bother doing something you don't think you can do? Exactly. You won't.\\nTo get started, count your successes. What do you have going for you? What have you done in the past that was awesome? What resources do you have at your disposal? Think of all the things you've achieved in the past. For what reason would you not be able to achieve what you want now?! You've done similar things before.\\n1-3. Get hungry.\\nWhen Les Brown talks about motivation, he repeats, \\\"You got to be hungry!\\\" What he's saying here is that you have to actually want it. You can't imagine a life without it. Thinking something would be nice, being full of velleities won't get you anywhere. Want it. If you don't really want it, what are you doing trying to motivate yourself?\\nSometimes it involves a little twisting to convince yourself that you want it. Struggling getting to work? Well, is that a path to anything else? If you've been really hankering for a vacation to Hawaii, think about it like that. You really, really want to get to Hawaii -- and working will get you there. It's a lot easier to do something you don't want to do when you have a purpose in mind -- a purpose that you're hungry for.\\n1-4. Know setbacks will happen.\\nIt's important to go into a behavior (possibly even a lifelong habit) knowing there will be failures along the way. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, having an all-or-nothing mentality will just leave you frustrated and tempted to give up. It can even make it harder to get started in the first place. Tell yourself that there will be times when you fail, and that's okay. You just have to know that you're capable of getting back up and, better yet, that you will.\\nYour failures or setbacks have nothing to do with you and everything to do with being human. They happen. Sometimes they'll happen because of you (not every decision can be stellar), but sometimes they'll happen because of circumstances that are beyond your control. Going into this with a level head will benefit you greatly in the end.\\nTo help get yourself back on track faster, try making a plan ahead of time for what you'll do if a setback does happen.\\n2. Developing Momentum\\n2-1. Focus on positive goals.\\nIt's simple to know what we don't want. It's simple to know what we're afraid of. Often it's harder to pinpoint what exactly would make us happy and what exactly we're striving for. However, to get anything done, we have to start thinking with positive goals, not negative fears. Instead of \\\"I don't want to be poor,\\\" a better goal is \\\"I'd like to save X amount of money each month.\\\" See how the latter is much, much more doable? And less scary!\\nPositive here doesn't mean radiating beams of sunshine. It means something you can do, something in the affirmative. A goal of \\\"not being fat\\\" is demotivating in itself. \\\"Losing ten pounds through diet and exercise\\\" is something that doesn't leave you frowning at the mere thought of it.\\n2-2. Keep it small.\\nHaving lofty goals is tough. Instead of trying to change your whole life all at once, certified life coach Sydney Axelrod suggests making small shifts that will help you reach your goals. Break each goal down into a series of actionable steps that you can actually achieve. Then, keep making progress—you may be surprised how quickly you're able to see a difference in your life.\\nIf your main goal is \\\"I want to lose 50 pounds,\\\" break that down into something like, \\\"I want to lose 2 pounds this week,\\\" or \\\"I want to work out 4 or 5 days a week.\\\" These will warrant similar results but are easier on the mind.\\n2-3. Track your progress.\\nSince the dawn of time, humans have searched for purpose and direction. And this doesn't just have to do with existentialism -- we seek purpose in our jobs, relationships, and even hobbies. If something is unfulfilling, we don't do it. So whether you're losing weight, working overtime, or studying for college, track what you're doing! This will give you drive and show you the positive outcomes of your behavior. It will give you purpose.\\nMake sure to track your behaviors and their results. Not only do you need the results to look at and go, \\\"Gee! I am awesome! Look at what I did!\\\" you'll need the results to see what does and does not work for you. If you try three different methods of studying, three different workouts, etc., which one gave you the best results for your effort? You can then streamline and strategize from there.\\n2-4. Take breaks.\\nWe are not machines (but even machines need breaks). Studies have shown that students who take breaks are more effective at studying. And it's common knowledge that our muscles need breaks, too. Breaks aren't for the lazy -- they're for those that know they want to keep going.\\nIt's up to you to gauge when those breaks need to be. It also depends on what the ultimate end goal is. Not only should there be mini breaks in your day, but there need to be life breaks, too.\\n2-5. Do what you enjoy.\\nMost of us have jobs we aren't crazy about, workouts we don't want to do, and a to-do list that we'd pay other people to get completed. These things won't go away, so we have to make them as manageable and as enjoyable as possible. If you don't enjoy it, it may be there forever.\\nThink about your job. If it stinks, how can you make it better? Can you ask to work on a specific project that interests you? How can you focus your time on the aspects that you do like?\\nIf working out is a bummer, find a different one! You don't have to be a marathon runner to burn calories. Go swimming, take a class, or go hiking. If you don't like the exercise you're doing, you won't stick with it.\\n2-6. Use rewards.\\nThis is a point to be considered carefully. The last thing you want to do is to associate everything with a Snickers bar. However, rewards can be powerful when used sparingly and efficiently. When you've completed something, be sure to do something you deserve!\\nYou cannot reward yourself for every 5 minutes of the activity you're trying to do. That'll just blow up your concentration and be time-consuming. However, even small goals, when met, should be rewarded. Did you work out every day this week? Great -- take a day to just do some yoga at home and watch a movie.\\n2-7. Don't be afraid of making mistakes.\\nIn order to find the best way of achieving something, we often have to do things we've never done before. Mistakes will happen if you're growing and getting better. You can X them off your list of possibilities and narrow your path to action down from there. Technically, mistakes are a good thing. At the very least they serve a purpose.\\nThere's also the fear of looking stupid that keeps a lot of people from trying things. Whether it's raising your hand in class or trying out that new equipment that you're not sure how to use, it's human nature to want to stay in our comfort zone. But for the most effective results, if you truly want to get good grades, to get thin, or to get started in that business, you got to do things you may not want to do.\\nOn a similar thread, don't let the mistakes drag you down. It's too easy to make one, feel like we're so behind there's no point in trying anymore and just stop. But if you tell yourself it's not an option, it won't happen. Failing doesn't matter -- getting back on the horse is all that does.\\n3. Staying on Track\\n3-1. Keep motivators around you.\\nThis one is pretty straightforward: we need reminders to keep ourselves going. These can be people or things -- whatever might keep you in the right mindset. It's natural to get off-balance and forget where we want to be -- these external motivators offer focus and direction. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, affirmations and mantras are other great ways to support and motivate yourself.\\nYou can do a whole bunch of small things to get you in gear. Change your desktop background on your computer. Put a post-it note on your wall. A reminder on your phone. Utilize the hubbub around you and put it to your advantage.\\nTo help yourself remember your affirmations, Axelrod suggests using a visual cue, like a note posted beside your bathroom mirror or a piece of jewelry that reminds you of your goals.\\n3-2. Keep good company.\\nUnfortunately, people can also be demotivating. We have that friend that desperately wants us to eat another piece of cheesecake. That person is not good company. To get going on our path to success, everyone needs cheerleaders along the way! Tell your friends and family what you're trying to stay motivated with. Do you have a few close people in your network that can help you focus and stay driven?\\nPeople can be motivators, too! Tell everyone you know that you're trying to lose 10 pounds. Hopefully they'll offer resources and make the path that much easier, in addition to holding you accountable.\\nHaving a mentor that's been through the same things you have will be super useful. Do you know someone who's started their own business, lost 50 pounds, or otherwise achieved their dreams? Talk to them! How do they do it? Their perseverance and display of just how doable it is may be what you need to stay energized and motivated.\\n3-3. Keep learning.\\nAs you go, you're likely to get bored, antsy, or lose attention. To avoid all these pitfalls, keep learning! Spice it up! It's hard to stay motivated on anything long-term. But if the goal keeps changing, if your knowledge keeps morphing, it'll be easier.\\nIf you're aiming for weight loss, read success stories and blogs. Talk to trainers at your gym. Hit up a nutritionist. Tackle new elements (methods of training, dieting plans, etc.) one at a time. Keeping it fresh will keep your mind fresh.\\n3-4. Only compare you to you.\\nThe best way to get demotivated and fast is to compare yourself to others. You'll never be them and they'll never be you, so what's the point? Though you've heard it a billion times before, it bears repeating: the only person you should compare yourself to is your previous self. It's only if you've improved that matters; not how anyone else is doing.\\nThis is part of why tracking progress is so necessary. To know where you are, you need to know where you've been. If you've made progress, you have nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of what the competition is doing.\\n3-5. Help others.\\nWhen you're nearer your goals, odds are you've learned a lot from your work along the way. Use this knowledge to help others! Not only will it motivate you, but it will motivate them. Don't you wish you had someone to help you along your way?\\nHave you lost some weight, gotten your business started, or aced that test? Use what you know to help someone else and, better yet, drill it into you. Just like studying out loud and reciting your facts to someone else helps your understanding, helping someone else will keep you focused and feeling good about your progress.\\n3-6. Set larger goals.\\nOnce you start hitting those small goals, there's nowhere to go but up! Start looking at the big picture -- focus on the end game. No more baby steps; it's time for the big leagues. Talk about motivation! You can practically start making the itinerary for Hawaii now! And you'll fit in that swimsuit, too!\\nMake sure to keep the end goal in mind or it'll start to feel far away and unachievable. Why have you gone to all this work anyway? You know exactly why -- and the light is at the end of the tunnel. What will you do when you reach this one? Onto the next, hopefully!\\nTips\\nSpeak as though you are already the way you want to be. Do not say \\\"I am becoming positive\\\"; \\\"I am positive\\\" is much better.\\nPositive affirmations repeated often will help you become strong. Choose one that fits with your problem. If you are scared, \\\"I am safe.\\\" If you are shy, \\\"I am a confident person.\\\" Avoid using negative words to stay focused.\\nThe journey of unleashing your potential is truly a worthy one. During this journey, knowingly or unknowingly you will have helped many unleash their respective potential.\\nWarnings\\nDo NOT worry about the dumb things, because negative thoughts become negative habits, just as positive thoughts become positive habits.\\nBeing self-motivated does not mean forcefully smiling and trying to please everyone.\\nHave courage to confront hurdles if you think you are right.\\nBe soft on yourself.\\nDo not beat yourself up if you suffer a lapse in your newfound pattern of self-motivation. You will get back on track. Be self-forgiving.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being self-motivated means being ready for driven, focused discussion and behavior. It also means being sharp and smart enough not to be manipulated and to be open to positive learning. Being in this state of mind is the challenge! Luckily, you have every tool at your disposal to get started right now. Here we go!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting in the Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get positive.\", \"描述\": \"It's pretty hard to get anything done when we're stuck on thoughts like, \\\"Ugh, life sucks and it's raining.\\\" Thoughts like those make us want to just curl up in our beds until someone physically drags us out. You can't do that! Positive thoughts are the only way you'll even find motivation in the first place.\\nIf you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, stop yourself — you have the power to say \\\"Stop. Enough.\\\" and not finish the thought. Divert your attention elsewhere. Especially if you're thinking about your motivation! This task in front of you? It's doable and you have the ability to do it. Any other thinking will keep you from even trying.\\nTry reframing things in a positive way. Instead of being upset that it's raining and you can't go outside, try to look at the rain from a positive perspective. For instance, maybe it's been dry and the land really needs the rain. You might think, \\\"Well, now I don't have to water my yard!\\\" or, \\\"This is a good opportunity for me slow down, relax, and stay in and read a book.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get confident.\", \"描述\": \"With thinking positive about your world, you have to think positive about you. If you think you're incapable, it'll seriously put a damper on the amount of effort you give this task. Why would you bother doing something you don't think you can do? Exactly. You won't.\\nTo get started, count your successes. What do you have going for you? What have you done in the past that was awesome? What resources do you have at your disposal? Think of all the things you've achieved in the past. For what reason would you not be able to achieve what you want now?! You've done similar things before.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get hungry.\", \"描述\": \"When Les Brown talks about motivation, he repeats, \\\"You got to be hungry!\\\" What he's saying here is that you have to actually want it. You can't imagine a life without it. Thinking something would be nice, being full of velleities won't get you anywhere. Want it. If you don't really want it, what are you doing trying to motivate yourself?\\nSometimes it involves a little twisting to convince yourself that you want it. Struggling getting to work? Well, is that a path to anything else? If you've been really hankering for a vacation to Hawaii, think about it like that. You really, really want to get to Hawaii -- and working will get you there. It's a lot easier to do something you don't want to do when you have a purpose in mind -- a purpose that you're hungry for.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know setbacks will happen.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to go into a behavior (possibly even a lifelong habit) knowing there will be failures along the way. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, having an all-or-nothing mentality will just leave you frustrated and tempted to give up. It can even make it harder to get started in the first place. Tell yourself that there will be times when you fail, and that's okay. You just have to know that you're capable of getting back up and, better yet, that you will.\\nYour failures or setbacks have nothing to do with you and everything to do with being human. They happen. Sometimes they'll happen because of you (not every decision can be stellar), but sometimes they'll happen because of circumstances that are beyond your control. Going into this with a level head will benefit you greatly in the end.\\nTo help get yourself back on track faster, try making a plan ahead of time for what you'll do if a setback does happen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Momentum\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on positive goals.\", \"描述\": \"It's simple to know what we don't want. It's simple to know what we're afraid of. Often it's harder to pinpoint what exactly would make us happy and what exactly we're striving for. However, to get anything done, we have to start thinking with positive goals, not negative fears. Instead of \\\"I don't want to be poor,\\\" a better goal is \\\"I'd like to save X amount of money each month.\\\" See how the latter is much, much more doable? And less scary!\\nPositive here doesn't mean radiating beams of sunshine. It means something you can do, something in the affirmative. A goal of \\\"not being fat\\\" is demotivating in itself. \\\"Losing ten pounds through diet and exercise\\\" is something that doesn't leave you frowning at the mere thought of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep it small.\", \"描述\": \"Having lofty goals is tough. Instead of trying to change your whole life all at once, certified life coach Sydney Axelrod suggests making small shifts that will help you reach your goals. Break each goal down into a series of actionable steps that you can actually achieve. Then, keep making progress—you may be surprised how quickly you're able to see a difference in your life.\\nIf your main goal is \\\"I want to lose 50 pounds,\\\" break that down into something like, \\\"I want to lose 2 pounds this week,\\\" or \\\"I want to work out 4 or 5 days a week.\\\" These will warrant similar results but are easier on the mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Track your progress.\", \"描述\": \"Since the dawn of time, humans have searched for purpose and direction. And this doesn't just have to do with existentialism -- we seek purpose in our jobs, relationships, and even hobbies. If something is unfulfilling, we don't do it. So whether you're losing weight, working overtime, or studying for college, track what you're doing! This will give you drive and show you the positive outcomes of your behavior. It will give you purpose.\\nMake sure to track your behaviors and their results. Not only do you need the results to look at and go, \\\"Gee! I am awesome! Look at what I did!\\\" you'll need the results to see what does and does not work for you. If you try three different methods of studying, three different workouts, etc., which one gave you the best results for your effort? You can then streamline and strategize from there.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take breaks.\", \"描述\": \"We are not machines (but even machines need breaks). Studies have shown that students who take breaks are more effective at studying. And it's common knowledge that our muscles need breaks, too. Breaks aren't for the lazy -- they're for those that know they want to keep going.\\nIt's up to you to gauge when those breaks need to be. It also depends on what the ultimate end goal is. Not only should there be mini breaks in your day, but there need to be life breaks, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do what you enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"Most of us have jobs we aren't crazy about, workouts we don't want to do, and a to-do list that we'd pay other people to get completed. These things won't go away, so we have to make them as manageable and as enjoyable as possible. If you don't enjoy it, it may be there forever.\\nThink about your job. If it stinks, how can you make it better? Can you ask to work on a specific project that interests you? How can you focus your time on the aspects that you do like?\\nIf working out is a bummer, find a different one! You don't have to be a marathon runner to burn calories. Go swimming, take a class, or go hiking. If you don't like the exercise you're doing, you won't stick with it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use rewards.\", \"描述\": \"This is a point to be considered carefully. The last thing you want to do is to associate everything with a Snickers bar. However, rewards can be powerful when used sparingly and efficiently. When you've completed something, be sure to do something you deserve!\\nYou cannot reward yourself for every 5 minutes of the activity you're trying to do. That'll just blow up your concentration and be time-consuming. However, even small goals, when met, should be rewarded. Did you work out every day this week? Great -- take a day to just do some yoga at home and watch a movie.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid of making mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"In order to find the best way of achieving something, we often have to do things we've never done before. Mistakes will happen if you're growing and getting better. You can X them off your list of possibilities and narrow your path to action down from there. Technically, mistakes are a good thing. At the very least they serve a purpose.\\nThere's also the fear of looking stupid that keeps a lot of people from trying things. Whether it's raising your hand in class or trying out that new equipment that you're not sure how to use, it's human nature to want to stay in our comfort zone. But for the most effective results, if you truly want to get good grades, to get thin, or to get started in that business, you got to do things you may not want to do.\\nOn a similar thread, don't let the mistakes drag you down. It's too easy to make one, feel like we're so behind there's no point in trying anymore and just stop. But if you tell yourself it's not an option, it won't happen. Failing doesn't matter -- getting back on the horse is all that does.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying on Track\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep motivators around you.\", \"描述\": \"This one is pretty straightforward: we need reminders to keep ourselves going. These can be people or things -- whatever might keep you in the right mindset. It's natural to get off-balance and forget where we want to be -- these external motivators offer focus and direction. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, affirmations and mantras are other great ways to support and motivate yourself.\\nYou can do a whole bunch of small things to get you in gear. Change your desktop background on your computer. Put a post-it note on your wall. A reminder on your phone. Utilize the hubbub around you and put it to your advantage.\\nTo help yourself remember your affirmations, Axelrod suggests using a visual cue, like a note posted beside your bathroom mirror or a piece of jewelry that reminds you of your goals.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep good company.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, people can also be demotivating. We have that friend that desperately wants us to eat another piece of cheesecake. That person is not good company. To get going on our path to success, everyone needs cheerleaders along the way! Tell your friends and family what you're trying to stay motivated with. Do you have a few close people in your network that can help you focus and stay driven?\\nPeople can be motivators, too! Tell everyone you know that you're trying to lose 10 pounds. Hopefully they'll offer resources and make the path that much easier, in addition to holding you accountable.\\nHaving a mentor that's been through the same things you have will be super useful. Do you know someone who's started their own business, lost 50 pounds, or otherwise achieved their dreams? Talk to them! How do they do it? Their perseverance and display of just how doable it is may be what you need to stay energized and motivated.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep learning.\", \"描述\": \"As you go, you're likely to get bored, antsy, or lose attention. To avoid all these pitfalls, keep learning! Spice it up! It's hard to stay motivated on anything long-term. But if the goal keeps changing, if your knowledge keeps morphing, it'll be easier.\\nIf you're aiming for weight loss, read success stories and blogs. Talk to trainers at your gym. Hit up a nutritionist. Tackle new elements (methods of training, dieting plans, etc.) one at a time. Keeping it fresh will keep your mind fresh.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Only compare you to you.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to get demotivated and fast is to compare yourself to others. You'll never be them and they'll never be you, so what's the point? Though you've heard it a billion times before, it bears repeating: the only person you should compare yourself to is your previous self. It's only if you've improved that matters; not how anyone else is doing.\\nThis is part of why tracking progress is so necessary. To know where you are, you need to know where you've been. If you've made progress, you have nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of what the competition is doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Help others.\", \"描述\": \"When you're nearer your goals, odds are you've learned a lot from your work along the way. Use this knowledge to help others! Not only will it motivate you, but it will motivate them. Don't you wish you had someone to help you along your way?\\nHave you lost some weight, gotten your business started, or aced that test? Use what you know to help someone else and, better yet, drill it into you. Just like studying out loud and reciting your facts to someone else helps your understanding, helping someone else will keep you focused and feeling good about your progress.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Set larger goals.\", \"描述\": \"Once you start hitting those small goals, there's nowhere to go but up! Start looking at the big picture -- focus on the end game. No more baby steps; it's time for the big leagues. Talk about motivation! You can practically start making the itinerary for Hawaii now! And you'll fit in that swimsuit, too!\\nMake sure to keep the end goal in mind or it'll start to feel far away and unachievable. Why have you gone to all this work anyway? You know exactly why -- and the light is at the end of the tunnel. What will you do when you reach this one? Onto the next, hopefully!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Speak as though you are already the way you want to be. Do not say \\\"I am becoming positive\\\"; \\\"I am positive\\\" is much better.\\n\", \"Positive affirmations repeated often will help you become strong. Choose one that fits with your problem. If you are scared, \\\"I am safe.\\\" If you are shy, \\\"I am a confident person.\\\" Avoid using negative words to stay focused.\\n\", \"The journey of unleashing your potential is truly a worthy one. During this journey, knowingly or unknowingly you will have helped many unleash their respective potential.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do NOT worry about the dumb things, because negative thoughts become negative habits, just as positive thoughts become positive habits.\\n\", \"Being self-motivated does not mean forcefully smiling and trying to please everyone.\\n\", \"Have courage to confront hurdles if you think you are right.\\n\", \"Be soft on yourself.\\n\", \"Do not beat yourself up if you suffer a lapse in your newfound pattern of self-motivation. You will get back on track. Be self-forgiving.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,140 | How to Be Self Reliant | 1. Developing Independent Habits
1-1. Assume responsibility for your life.
Part of being self-reliant is undertaking certain responsibilities that enable people to experience independence. Doing simple things such as paying your bills on time, cleaning up after yourself if you make a mess, and going to work or school on time can help you feel more responsible and self-reliant.
If you do not have a job, you have the responsibility of looking for a job, seeking education that will lead to employment, or starting your own business.
1-2. Be informed.
Information is power, so having information will give you the power to make your own decisions and assert your independence. Try to be well-rounded and keep up with information about what is going on in your place of business or school, your town, your state, your country, and the world.
For example, knowing that a local ordinance determining whether backyard chickens can be kept in your area is coming up for a vote can give you the opportunity to lobby and vote for the ability to keep chickens for fresh eggs.
1-3. Know where you are going.
You should have a sense of direction. Something has to drive you. For example, if you are attending college, you should at least have an idea of what you want to do after college and what you are passionate about studying. You should also try to set goals for yourself. Try setting short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals, then be realistic about what you need to do to meet those goals.
Seek out a career counselor if you are not sure what you’d like to do with your life. Career self-assessments can be found online. Many websites like this one can offer helpful guidance.
Most schools have career centers or guidance counselors available to all enrolled students. These resources can help you shape a vision for your future.
1-4. Make your own decisions.
Allowing people to make your decisions for you is essentially giving up your independence and self-reliance. Assert yourself and make decisions for yourself based on your goals and dreams. While it is important to be considerate towards other people, it is not necessary to give up your ability to make your own decisions.
For example, if you are looking for a place to live with a roommate, be sure you are making decisions based on what is best for you. If you prefer to rent a house and have a bit more independence than an apartment building, stick to your preference and do not allow your roommate to talk you into something that you don’t want to do.
It can also be common for some people to allow their spouses or significant others to make all the decisions in their relationship, from where to go out to eat to where to live and what kind of car to buy. Changing the dynamic of such a relationship may strain the relationship, but having a part in the decision making at both daily and long-term levels can give you greater control of your life.
2. Managing Money Independently
2-1. Learn how to manage money.
Allowing someone else to manage your money can lead to unwanted debt, little freedom to use the money as you see fit, or a loss of financial acumen about how to handle finances.
These outcomes could make you more dependent on the person managing your money, which not only makes it difficult to leave an unhealthy relationship, if needed, but also has the potential to create difficult position should that other person no longer handle the finances (e.g., due to severe illness or death).
2-2. Get out of debt.
Experts say your total monthly long-term debt payments should not exceed 36% of your gross monthly income (i.e., your income before taxes, health insurance premiums, etc. are taken out). Long-term debt includes your mortgage, auto payments, student loans, and of course, credit cards.
If you exceed 36% of your gross monthly income, create a plan on how you will pay down the debt, starting with the credit lines with the highest interest rates.
Possibilities include transferring balances to a lower interest rate credit line, re-designing your monthly budget to allocate more funds to debt servicing, or consolidating debt into one payment with a low interest rate. For example, if you own your own home and can re-finance, it may be possible to use the equity in your home to pay down your debt without opening another line of credit.
2-3. Pay cash instead of using your credit card.
While you pay down your credit cards, resist the urge to add more to your running total. The only way you will get out of debt is to squash the debt you’ve generated in the past. While you are paying down debt, if you don’t have the cash to cover the costs, skip the purchase.You could also use a debit card, which is equivalent to paying cash. Try not to borrow a friend or family member's money either.
2-4. Keep cash on hand at all times.
Make it easier to pay with cash by keeping a stash on hand at all times. However, make sure you keep your cash in a safe place. Also, make sure to build up plenty of savings so that if unexpected expenses arise (as they most likely will), you can pay out of savings rather than taking on more debt.
Think about savings as a way to make a 0% interest loan to yourself. For this reason, sometimes it makes more financial sense to save rather than pay down your debt.
2-5. Own a home.
Building credit and equity by owning a piece of property is still one of the best ways to become self-reliant and build wealth. Leases can lock you into a living situation you do not like and landlords can change the terms of the lease when you renew, which may force you out of a living situation before you want to change.
When buying property, search for homes or condos within your budget (meaning you don’t want to take on a mortgage payment that exceeds 28% of your monthly income).
2-6. Live within your means.
Create a monthly budget and stick to it. This is possible if you are honest about your expenses and build in allowances for unforeseen expenses. If you don’t know where your money goes each month, go through your living expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, taxes) along with how often you eat out, what you buy, gas purchases and entertainment expenses.
A sample monthly budget may look something like this:
Mortgage/Rent: $1,000
Car payment: $400
Gas/Electric: $200
Water: $30
Cell Phone: $100
Television/Internet: $100
Food: $800
Entertainment: $150
Homeowner’s/Renter’s Insurance: $300
Health Insurance: $300
Car Insurance: $100
Gas for vehicle: $200
Child Care: $600
Credit card payments: $200
Other Expenses (may include child support, alimony, activities or classes, property taxes, or additional utility services such as trash/recycling pick-up or a “land line” telephone bill.)
Seeing the expenses as compared to your monthly income on paper may create more of awareness about what you can and cannot afford.
This gives you a chance to talk to people with whom you share money and set expectations about how money should be managed, which keeps you involved and more self-reliant.
3. Living with Self-Reliance
3-1. Identify and have knowledge of which things you must be responsible for.
Some things are your responsibility whether you are aware of them or not. Being aware of them therefore allows you to actually take responsibility and look after yourself very well.
3-2. Cook your own meals.
Allowing others to cook for you or buying ready-to-eat meals leads to a dependence on others that compromises your self-reliance.Cooking your own meals allows you to save money and eat more healthfully, as well as a sense of accomplishment.
Take a class or learn to cook online or from television. If you are very uncomfortable in the kitchen, consider taking a class for beginners at a local community college or follow a chef on one of the food network channels. Several celebrity chefs host shows demonstrating easy recipes that can be replicated by even the most apprehensive chef.
Ask a relative to teach you to cook. This is a great way to learn cooking basics. Additionally, you can bond with the relative or even learn to cook special family recipes handed down from generation to generation.
3-3. Plant a garden.
A fun way to harbor independence is to grow your own food. A garden provides an inexpensive and interactive way to produce fruits and vegetables on a seasonal basis, which may also provide higher satisfaction when it comes to eating.
If you live in an urban area, you may not be able to grow a full-sized garden, but you might be able to keep a tomato plant on a balcony or grow a box of herbs to flavor your food. Some urban areas even have community garden spaces or rooftop gardens that you may be able to use or contribute to.
Some communities offer gardening tools for rent or host beginner gardening classes at the library. These types of resources can help you if you are a beginner.
3-4. Master emergency health basics.
Knowing what to do in an emergency health situation can help you possibly save a life and lend you the confidence of feeling independent, even in the face of an emergency.
Take a CPR class. In addition to the Red Cross, community colleges and hospitals offer courses in CPR and first aid, which can help you know what to do in the event of an emergency that involves choking or unconsciousness.
Learn what is necessary during an emergency situation. Would you know what to do if you were camping in the wilderness and a snake bit a friend? Knowing how to tackle the “what if” scenario will help you be the go-to person in an emergency. The Red Cross has a free application for portable devices that offers instructions on what to do in a wide range of situations.
Practice using medical equipment. If you or your partner require ongoing medical treatment, depending on a health care professional to give an injection or an IV on an ongoing basis may not be very convenient. Ask a nurse to teach you how to use certain at-home devices in order to be in control of the situation and provide you (or your loved one) with greater independence.
3-5. Understand basic auto mechanic repair.
Don’t be that damsel in distress on the side of the road if your tire blows. Waiting for automotive assistance can put you in a vulnerable position, leaving you open to danger. For the following basic repairs, YouTube is a valuable resource for seeing how these repairs are done. For basic repairs, it may be possible to find a video for your exact make and model car, which can be helpful in case your car requires a non-standard method of repair.
Learn how to change a tire. Basic tire changes can be performed by anyone with the knowledge and skill. The basic formula is to loosen the lug nuts, raise the vehicle with a jack, remove the lug nuts, remove the tire, place the spare tire on the bolts, replace the lug nuts, lower the car, and tighten the lug nuts. Consult your vehicle manual and ask a trained professional for a demonstration.
Discover how an engine and belts work. Being able to examine and know when a belt is about to blow or if you could be experiencing engine trouble can save you not only time but money. Furthermore, changing belts are simple tasks where the labor charge for the mechanic will generally far exceed the cost of the belt itself. Taking the time to do it yourself can offer real financial savings.
Practice performing a basic oil and fluid change. Vehicle oil and fluids must be changed and topped off on a rotating basis. A simple oil change can be performed at home with the right materials and knowledge. Each system has different recommendations and your owner’s manual can tell you at what mileages you should perform certain maintenance tasks.
3-6. Maintain your health.
Declare your independence from prescription medication and seeing the doctor for every ache and pain by staying as healthy as possible on your own.
Exercise regularly. The American Heart Association recommends exercising 3 to 4 times a week to reduce cholesterol and blood pressure. Keep the blood flowing and tissues healthy by indulging in a little cardio or anaerobic exercise on a regular basis.
Eat a clean, healthy diet. Respecting your body means that you fill it with wholesome food that is grown from the earth and in its original state. Ditch processed, greasy fast food, packaged chips and sugary foods and drinks in order to nourish and preserve your body.
3-7. Know when to visit your doctor.
It can be tempting to decide to take control of your health by simply never going to the doctor again. However, this is not always the best approach, as there are cases in which medical assistance may be necessary.
If you are a “regular” at your physician’s office due to a chronic condition, you may see those visits wane if you stick to a healthy diet and exercise routine. However, you should continue to maintain a regular schedule of healthy check-ups and routine tests based on your age and risk factors for early detection.
Know whether you are at risk for specific diseases due to your health, family history, and lifestyle.
Learn the warning signs for life-threatening conditions such as heart disease, stroke, COPD, chronic lower respiratory disease, cancer (specifically, lung cancer), HIV/AIDs, diarrheal disease, and diabetes.
Consider learning additional conditions that are common causes of death in the US: Alzheimer’s disease, influenza and pneumonia, kidney disease, and suicide or those that can cause significant disability, such as arthritis, depressive disorders, and substance use disorder.
3-8. Live off the grid.
If you really want to assert your independence, try living off the grid. Save money on energy expenses by living off the land and demonstrate you really can live without assistance.
Consider growing all your food. From a garden to foraging for berries and mushrooms, learn about the different types of food you can grow and eat in the wild. Be extremely cautious about eating anything growing in the wild as some plants are poisonous. You may also be able to hunt for your own meat, but be sure to follow local hunting regulations.
Explore alternative energy. Join the “green” initiative and investigate various alternative energy resources available today. You’ll save money and reduce your carbon footprint by taking a few simple steps. Just make sure that you do not end up taking on debt or agreeing to a lease that eliminates the financial benefits.
Try before you buy. If you are not sure if you can live off the grid, considering looking for a vacation rental home that is off the grid (e.g., in a secluded area such as an island or an isolated forest) and turn your next vacation into a fact-finding mission.
4. Feeling Emotionally Self-Reliant
4-1. Learn to take care of your own feelings and emotions.
Emotional self-reliance means that you can process your own emotions and do not require others to validate your experience and feelings for you. Learning to process feelings and emotions on your own means learning how to be introspective and look for less obvious reasons for feelings rather than taking things at face value.
This process can lead to insight about the root of your feelings and ways to you can begin to avoid negative feelings.
Ways to learn how to be more introspective and thoughtful include professional therapy, self-help books, and certain religious teachings (e.g., buddhist teaching on identity and the ways that it can contribute to suffering).
4-2. Maintain feelings of self-reliance.
If you already feel emotionally self-reliant in your relationship, you should seek to keep that feeling, even in the face of a major change, such as expecting a new child.
4-3. Avoid emotional “triangles” whenever possible.
Often people respond to hurt feelings by engaging others to help them process the experience and to avoid talking with the person that hurt them directly. The psychologist Murray Bowen calls these situations “triangles.”
4-4. Express your anxieties appropriately.
If there is something weighing on your relationship, express your anxieties and share experiences without allowing other people to heighten your anxiety, make your anxiety chronic, or trying to solve the problem for you.
Put another way, people should act as resources to one another, but should not make the situation worse, and should not replace an individual’s own thinking.
4-5. Share responsibilities equitably.
When two or more people have a shared responsibility, individuals must be self-reliant by meeting their individual responsibilities in a fair way.
People must also be able to meet individual responsibilities without neglecting shared responsibilities.
Each person in a relationship must remain confident of the loyalty and commitment of the other people, as well as their ability to meet their responsibilities.
For example, if a couple has a baby, they will have shared responsibilities as parents and individual responsibilities as a worker or primary caregiver. If one person stays at home to care for the child, the person who goes back to work will have unique responsibilities and concerns. The person who stays at home will also have unique responsibilities and concerns.
4-6. Ask for help when you need to.
You should try to differentiate between anxieties/problems that you can process/solve on your own and those that you need help with.
If your threshold for going to someone else is too low, other people may feel burdened and become less receptive and willing to help. You may also become dependent on others.
If your threshold is too high, you may become resentful and begin to see other people as selfish, uncaring, and unsupportive. You may also not get the support you need.
Using others for help is healthy so long as the person does not develop a dependency on any one person for processing emotions, and the partner does not feel like loyalty and commitment have been lost.
4-7. Assess whether new challenges are shared or individual responsibilities.
As relationships grow, there will continue to be issues and responsibilities that are specific to one person, as well as issues and responsibilities that are shared.
As these issues arise, one must recognize whether the issue/responsibility is their own or shared, and one must engage the other partner or other resources as needed.
Like a President or other head of state discussing an issue with key advisors, the individual must be able to trust himself or herself, as well as the people being consulted to be self-reliant. He or she must also know when the decision should be shared and make sure that the other person feels trusted and involved.
For example, as a couple’s child grows, both parents must develop their own relationship with the child and their own parenting style while also co-parenting, especially on larger issues that require both parents to work through (e.g., going to college). People must take care of their own responsibilities and feelings while also recognizing the right of the other parent to do things differently at times.
4-8. Process emotions through journaling.
To help you keep track of the emotional development within a relationship, consider keeping a journal. A journal is basically a day-to-day record of your activities, but it is different from a diary in that the focus of the writing is inward and the tone is reflective and musing. For example, instead of simply saying that you and your partner went to look at baby furniture, you focus on how you felt throughout the experience, using the events of the day to help organize your thoughts. Journal writing is self-directed and has no fixed rules or procedures, but here are some tips that may make it easier to get started:
Find a special spot that is clean, comfortable, and quiet. You should also be able to return to this spot often and, if privacy is important to you, this spot should be relatively private.
Before you write, allow yourself time to relax and reflect. Use music to stimulate your emotions.
When you are ready to go, just write. Do not worry about perfect grammar, spelling, or word choice. Do not worry about how others might read what you are writing or how it would affect their opinion of you. Think of your journal as a confidential and judgment-free space.
4-9. Be persistent with your journal.
If you have trouble writing, use one of these prompts using emotion. To decide which emotion either take the first emotion word that pops into your head or grab a dictionary, thesaurus, or any book and flip through until you find an emotion word. Don’t spend time selecting a word, just take the first one you find. Insert that emotion word wherever you see <emotion> below. If the emotion was particularly important to you, take a week to write with all six prompts and use the seventh day to read over what you have written:
Write <emotion> at the top of the page and free associate down/across the page until you feel at peace and no thoughts are coming to mind.
What does it mean for you to feel <emotion>?
When have you felt most <emotion>? Are you more or less connected to others when you feel <emotion>?
When have you felt least <emotion>? Are you more or less connected to others when you do not feel <emotion>?
How do you react to <emotion> in others? What is the source of this reaction?
Reflect on a quote that includes <emotion> in it. (Use an online quote search engine, such as http://www.faganfinder.com/quotes/, to find a quote with your emotion word in it).
4-10. Review your journal entries.
As your journal grows, periodically review what you have written, focusing on the ways that your relationships have changed, and you have become more/less self-reliant.
Where you see room for more self-reliance, think about ways to (1) assume responsibility, (2) be informed, (3) know where you are going, and (4) make your own decisions.
4-11. Seek counseling if necessary.
While it may seem counter-intuitive, getting helped from a good therapist can make you feel more self-reliant. Journaling can bring up emotions that can be difficult to deal with on your own, so be ready to ask for help if you begin to feel overly anxious or depressed.
Tips
Learn something new every year. Whether it’s learning how to weave baskets or how to administer an IV to your dog; learning a completely new skill will add to your bag of tricks.
Meet people from all backgrounds and disciplines. You can learn a tremendous amount from others so seek out genuine, good people from various backgrounds and skill sets.
Maintain an emergency kit at home that includes enough bottled water for everyone in your family for two to three days, non-perishable food, flashlights, a radio and a first aid kit.
Warnings
Although an independent lifestyle can build confidence and overall inner peace, never be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes, especially in an emergency situation, you may need to request assistance or have a professional take over if you are not fully equipped.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Independent Habits\\n1-1. Assume responsibility for your life.\\nPart of being self-reliant is undertaking certain responsibilities that enable people to experience independence. Doing simple things such as paying your bills on time, cleaning up after yourself if you make a mess, and going to work or school on time can help you feel more responsible and self-reliant.\\nIf you do not have a job, you have the responsibility of looking for a job, seeking education that will lead to employment, or starting your own business.\\n1-2. Be informed.\\nInformation is power, so having information will give you the power to make your own decisions and assert your independence. Try to be well-rounded and keep up with information about what is going on in your place of business or school, your town, your state, your country, and the world.\\nFor example, knowing that a local ordinance determining whether backyard chickens can be kept in your area is coming up for a vote can give you the opportunity to lobby and vote for the ability to keep chickens for fresh eggs.\\n1-3. Know where you are going.\\nYou should have a sense of direction. Something has to drive you. For example, if you are attending college, you should at least have an idea of what you want to do after college and what you are passionate about studying. You should also try to set goals for yourself. Try setting short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals, then be realistic about what you need to do to meet those goals.\\nSeek out a career counselor if you are not sure what you’d like to do with your life. Career self-assessments can be found online. Many websites like this one can offer helpful guidance.\\nMost schools have career centers or guidance counselors available to all enrolled students. These resources can help you shape a vision for your future.\\n1-4. Make your own decisions.\\nAllowing people to make your decisions for you is essentially giving up your independence and self-reliance. Assert yourself and make decisions for yourself based on your goals and dreams. While it is important to be considerate towards other people, it is not necessary to give up your ability to make your own decisions.\\nFor example, if you are looking for a place to live with a roommate, be sure you are making decisions based on what is best for you. If you prefer to rent a house and have a bit more independence than an apartment building, stick to your preference and do not allow your roommate to talk you into something that you don’t want to do.\\nIt can also be common for some people to allow their spouses or significant others to make all the decisions in their relationship, from where to go out to eat to where to live and what kind of car to buy. Changing the dynamic of such a relationship may strain the relationship, but having a part in the decision making at both daily and long-term levels can give you greater control of your life.\\n2. Managing Money Independently\\n2-1. Learn how to manage money.\\nAllowing someone else to manage your money can lead to unwanted debt, little freedom to use the money as you see fit, or a loss of financial acumen about how to handle finances.\\nThese outcomes could make you more dependent on the person managing your money, which not only makes it difficult to leave an unhealthy relationship, if needed, but also has the potential to create difficult position should that other person no longer handle the finances (e.g., due to severe illness or death).\\n2-2. Get out of debt.\\nExperts say your total monthly long-term debt payments should not exceed 36% of your gross monthly income (i.e., your income before taxes, health insurance premiums, etc. are taken out). Long-term debt includes your mortgage, auto payments, student loans, and of course, credit cards.\\nIf you exceed 36% of your gross monthly income, create a plan on how you will pay down the debt, starting with the credit lines with the highest interest rates.\\nPossibilities include transferring balances to a lower interest rate credit line, re-designing your monthly budget to allocate more funds to debt servicing, or consolidating debt into one payment with a low interest rate. For example, if you own your own home and can re-finance, it may be possible to use the equity in your home to pay down your debt without opening another line of credit.\\n2-3. Pay cash instead of using your credit card.\\nWhile you pay down your credit cards, resist the urge to add more to your running total. The only way you will get out of debt is to squash the debt you’ve generated in the past. While you are paying down debt, if you don’t have the cash to cover the costs, skip the purchase.You could also use a debit card, which is equivalent to paying cash. Try not to borrow a friend or family member's money either.\\n2-4. Keep cash on hand at all times.\\nMake it easier to pay with cash by keeping a stash on hand at all times. However, make sure you keep your cash in a safe place. Also, make sure to build up plenty of savings so that if unexpected expenses arise (as they most likely will), you can pay out of savings rather than taking on more debt.\\nThink about savings as a way to make a 0% interest loan to yourself. For this reason, sometimes it makes more financial sense to save rather than pay down your debt.\\n2-5. Own a home.\\nBuilding credit and equity by owning a piece of property is still one of the best ways to become self-reliant and build wealth. Leases can lock you into a living situation you do not like and landlords can change the terms of the lease when you renew, which may force you out of a living situation before you want to change.\\nWhen buying property, search for homes or condos within your budget (meaning you don’t want to take on a mortgage payment that exceeds 28% of your monthly income).\\n2-6. Live within your means.\\nCreate a monthly budget and stick to it. This is possible if you are honest about your expenses and build in allowances for unforeseen expenses. If you don’t know where your money goes each month, go through your living expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, taxes) along with how often you eat out, what you buy, gas purchases and entertainment expenses.\\nA sample monthly budget may look something like this:\\nMortgage/Rent: $1,000\\nCar payment: $400\\nGas/Electric: $200\\nWater: $30\\nCell Phone: $100\\nTelevision/Internet: $100\\nFood: $800\\nEntertainment: $150\\nHomeowner’s/Renter’s Insurance: $300\\nHealth Insurance: $300\\nCar Insurance: $100\\nGas for vehicle: $200\\nChild Care: $600\\nCredit card payments: $200\\nOther Expenses (may include child support, alimony, activities or classes, property taxes, or additional utility services such as trash/recycling pick-up or a “land line” telephone bill.)\\n\\nSeeing the expenses as compared to your monthly income on paper may create more of awareness about what you can and cannot afford.\\nThis gives you a chance to talk to people with whom you share money and set expectations about how money should be managed, which keeps you involved and more self-reliant.\\n3. Living with Self-Reliance\\n3-1. Identify and have knowledge of which things you must be responsible for.\\nSome things are your responsibility whether you are aware of them or not. Being aware of them therefore allows you to actually take responsibility and look after yourself very well.\\n3-2. Cook your own meals.\\nAllowing others to cook for you or buying ready-to-eat meals leads to a dependence on others that compromises your self-reliance.Cooking your own meals allows you to save money and eat more healthfully, as well as a sense of accomplishment.\\nTake a class or learn to cook online or from television. If you are very uncomfortable in the kitchen, consider taking a class for beginners at a local community college or follow a chef on one of the food network channels. Several celebrity chefs host shows demonstrating easy recipes that can be replicated by even the most apprehensive chef.\\nAsk a relative to teach you to cook. This is a great way to learn cooking basics. Additionally, you can bond with the relative or even learn to cook special family recipes handed down from generation to generation.\\n3-3. Plant a garden.\\nA fun way to harbor independence is to grow your own food. A garden provides an inexpensive and interactive way to produce fruits and vegetables on a seasonal basis, which may also provide higher satisfaction when it comes to eating.\\nIf you live in an urban area, you may not be able to grow a full-sized garden, but you might be able to keep a tomato plant on a balcony or grow a box of herbs to flavor your food. Some urban areas even have community garden spaces or rooftop gardens that you may be able to use or contribute to.\\nSome communities offer gardening tools for rent or host beginner gardening classes at the library. These types of resources can help you if you are a beginner.\\n3-4. Master emergency health basics.\\nKnowing what to do in an emergency health situation can help you possibly save a life and lend you the confidence of feeling independent, even in the face of an emergency.\\nTake a CPR class. In addition to the Red Cross, community colleges and hospitals offer courses in CPR and first aid, which can help you know what to do in the event of an emergency that involves choking or unconsciousness.\\nLearn what is necessary during an emergency situation. Would you know what to do if you were camping in the wilderness and a snake bit a friend? Knowing how to tackle the “what if” scenario will help you be the go-to person in an emergency. The Red Cross has a free application for portable devices that offers instructions on what to do in a wide range of situations.\\nPractice using medical equipment. If you or your partner require ongoing medical treatment, depending on a health care professional to give an injection or an IV on an ongoing basis may not be very convenient. Ask a nurse to teach you how to use certain at-home devices in order to be in control of the situation and provide you (or your loved one) with greater independence.\\n3-5. Understand basic auto mechanic repair.\\nDon’t be that damsel in distress on the side of the road if your tire blows. Waiting for automotive assistance can put you in a vulnerable position, leaving you open to danger. For the following basic repairs, YouTube is a valuable resource for seeing how these repairs are done. For basic repairs, it may be possible to find a video for your exact make and model car, which can be helpful in case your car requires a non-standard method of repair.\\nLearn how to change a tire. Basic tire changes can be performed by anyone with the knowledge and skill. The basic formula is to loosen the lug nuts, raise the vehicle with a jack, remove the lug nuts, remove the tire, place the spare tire on the bolts, replace the lug nuts, lower the car, and tighten the lug nuts. Consult your vehicle manual and ask a trained professional for a demonstration.\\nDiscover how an engine and belts work. Being able to examine and know when a belt is about to blow or if you could be experiencing engine trouble can save you not only time but money. Furthermore, changing belts are simple tasks where the labor charge for the mechanic will generally far exceed the cost of the belt itself. Taking the time to do it yourself can offer real financial savings.\\nPractice performing a basic oil and fluid change. Vehicle oil and fluids must be changed and topped off on a rotating basis. A simple oil change can be performed at home with the right materials and knowledge. Each system has different recommendations and your owner’s manual can tell you at what mileages you should perform certain maintenance tasks.\\n3-6. Maintain your health.\\nDeclare your independence from prescription medication and seeing the doctor for every ache and pain by staying as healthy as possible on your own.\\nExercise regularly. The American Heart Association recommends exercising 3 to 4 times a week to reduce cholesterol and blood pressure. Keep the blood flowing and tissues healthy by indulging in a little cardio or anaerobic exercise on a regular basis.\\nEat a clean, healthy diet. Respecting your body means that you fill it with wholesome food that is grown from the earth and in its original state. Ditch processed, greasy fast food, packaged chips and sugary foods and drinks in order to nourish and preserve your body.\\n3-7. Know when to visit your doctor.\\nIt can be tempting to decide to take control of your health by simply never going to the doctor again. However, this is not always the best approach, as there are cases in which medical assistance may be necessary.\\nIf you are a “regular” at your physician’s office due to a chronic condition, you may see those visits wane if you stick to a healthy diet and exercise routine. However, you should continue to maintain a regular schedule of healthy check-ups and routine tests based on your age and risk factors for early detection.\\nKnow whether you are at risk for specific diseases due to your health, family history, and lifestyle.\\nLearn the warning signs for life-threatening conditions such as heart disease, stroke, COPD, chronic lower respiratory disease, cancer (specifically, lung cancer), HIV/AIDs, diarrheal disease, and diabetes.\\nConsider learning additional conditions that are common causes of death in the US: Alzheimer’s disease, influenza and pneumonia, kidney disease, and suicide or those that can cause significant disability, such as arthritis, depressive disorders, and substance use disorder.\\n3-8. Live off the grid.\\nIf you really want to assert your independence, try living off the grid. Save money on energy expenses by living off the land and demonstrate you really can live without assistance.\\nConsider growing all your food. From a garden to foraging for berries and mushrooms, learn about the different types of food you can grow and eat in the wild. Be extremely cautious about eating anything growing in the wild as some plants are poisonous. You may also be able to hunt for your own meat, but be sure to follow local hunting regulations.\\nExplore alternative energy. Join the “green” initiative and investigate various alternative energy resources available today. You’ll save money and reduce your carbon footprint by taking a few simple steps. Just make sure that you do not end up taking on debt or agreeing to a lease that eliminates the financial benefits.\\nTry before you buy. If you are not sure if you can live off the grid, considering looking for a vacation rental home that is off the grid (e.g., in a secluded area such as an island or an isolated forest) and turn your next vacation into a fact-finding mission.\\n4. Feeling Emotionally Self-Reliant\\n4-1. Learn to take care of your own feelings and emotions.\\nEmotional self-reliance means that you can process your own emotions and do not require others to validate your experience and feelings for you. Learning to process feelings and emotions on your own means learning how to be introspective and look for less obvious reasons for feelings rather than taking things at face value.\\nThis process can lead to insight about the root of your feelings and ways to you can begin to avoid negative feelings.\\nWays to learn how to be more introspective and thoughtful include professional therapy, self-help books, and certain religious teachings (e.g., buddhist teaching on identity and the ways that it can contribute to suffering).\\n4-2. Maintain feelings of self-reliance.\\nIf you already feel emotionally self-reliant in your relationship, you should seek to keep that feeling, even in the face of a major change, such as expecting a new child.\\n4-3. Avoid emotional “triangles” whenever possible.\\nOften people respond to hurt feelings by engaging others to help them process the experience and to avoid talking with the person that hurt them directly. The psychologist Murray Bowen calls these situations “triangles.”\\n4-4. Express your anxieties appropriately.\\nIf there is something weighing on your relationship, express your anxieties and share experiences without allowing other people to heighten your anxiety, make your anxiety chronic, or trying to solve the problem for you. \\nPut another way, people should act as resources to one another, but should not make the situation worse, and should not replace an individual’s own thinking.\\n4-5. Share responsibilities equitably.\\nWhen two or more people have a shared responsibility, individuals must be self-reliant by meeting their individual responsibilities in a fair way. \\nPeople must also be able to meet individual responsibilities without neglecting shared responsibilities.\\nEach person in a relationship must remain confident of the loyalty and commitment of the other people, as well as their ability to meet their responsibilities.\\nFor example, if a couple has a baby, they will have shared responsibilities as parents and individual responsibilities as a worker or primary caregiver. If one person stays at home to care for the child, the person who goes back to work will have unique responsibilities and concerns. The person who stays at home will also have unique responsibilities and concerns.\\n4-6. Ask for help when you need to.\\nYou should try to differentiate between anxieties/problems that you can process/solve on your own and those that you need help with. \\nIf your threshold for going to someone else is too low, other people may feel burdened and become less receptive and willing to help. You may also become dependent on others.\\nIf your threshold is too high, you may become resentful and begin to see other people as selfish, uncaring, and unsupportive. You may also not get the support you need.\\nUsing others for help is healthy so long as the person does not develop a dependency on any one person for processing emotions, and the partner does not feel like loyalty and commitment have been lost.\\n4-7. Assess whether new challenges are shared or individual responsibilities.\\nAs relationships grow, there will continue to be issues and responsibilities that are specific to one person, as well as issues and responsibilities that are shared. \\nAs these issues arise, one must recognize whether the issue/responsibility is their own or shared, and one must engage the other partner or other resources as needed.\\nLike a President or other head of state discussing an issue with key advisors, the individual must be able to trust himself or herself, as well as the people being consulted to be self-reliant. He or she must also know when the decision should be shared and make sure that the other person feels trusted and involved.\\nFor example, as a couple’s child grows, both parents must develop their own relationship with the child and their own parenting style while also co-parenting, especially on larger issues that require both parents to work through (e.g., going to college). People must take care of their own responsibilities and feelings while also recognizing the right of the other parent to do things differently at times.\\n4-8. Process emotions through journaling.\\nTo help you keep track of the emotional development within a relationship, consider keeping a journal. A journal is basically a day-to-day record of your activities, but it is different from a diary in that the focus of the writing is inward and the tone is reflective and musing. For example, instead of simply saying that you and your partner went to look at baby furniture, you focus on how you felt throughout the experience, using the events of the day to help organize your thoughts. Journal writing is self-directed and has no fixed rules or procedures, but here are some tips that may make it easier to get started:\\nFind a special spot that is clean, comfortable, and quiet. You should also be able to return to this spot often and, if privacy is important to you, this spot should be relatively private.\\nBefore you write, allow yourself time to relax and reflect. Use music to stimulate your emotions.\\nWhen you are ready to go, just write. Do not worry about perfect grammar, spelling, or word choice. Do not worry about how others might read what you are writing or how it would affect their opinion of you. Think of your journal as a confidential and judgment-free space.\\n4-9. Be persistent with your journal.\\nIf you have trouble writing, use one of these prompts using emotion. To decide which emotion either take the first emotion word that pops into your head or grab a dictionary, thesaurus, or any book and flip through until you find an emotion word. Don’t spend time selecting a word, just take the first one you find. Insert that emotion word wherever you see <emotion> below. If the emotion was particularly important to you, take a week to write with all six prompts and use the seventh day to read over what you have written:\\nWrite <emotion> at the top of the page and free associate down/across the page until you feel at peace and no thoughts are coming to mind.\\nWhat does it mean for you to feel <emotion>?\\nWhen have you felt most <emotion>? Are you more or less connected to others when you feel <emotion>?\\nWhen have you felt least <emotion>? Are you more or less connected to others when you do not feel <emotion>?\\nHow do you react to <emotion> in others? What is the source of this reaction?\\nReflect on a quote that includes <emotion> in it. (Use an online quote search engine, such as http://www.faganfinder.com/quotes/, to find a quote with your emotion word in it).\\n4-10. Review your journal entries.\\nAs your journal grows, periodically review what you have written, focusing on the ways that your relationships have changed, and you have become more/less self-reliant.\\nWhere you see room for more self-reliance, think about ways to (1) assume responsibility, (2) be informed, (3) know where you are going, and (4) make your own decisions.\\n4-11. Seek counseling if necessary.\\nWhile it may seem counter-intuitive, getting helped from a good therapist can make you feel more self-reliant. Journaling can bring up emotions that can be difficult to deal with on your own, so be ready to ask for help if you begin to feel overly anxious or depressed.\\nTips\\nLearn something new every year. Whether it’s learning how to weave baskets or how to administer an IV to your dog; learning a completely new skill will add to your bag of tricks.\\nMeet people from all backgrounds and disciplines. You can learn a tremendous amount from others so seek out genuine, good people from various backgrounds and skill sets.\\nMaintain an emergency kit at home that includes enough bottled water for everyone in your family for two to three days, non-perishable food, flashlights, a radio and a first aid kit.\\nWarnings\\nAlthough an independent lifestyle can build confidence and overall inner peace, never be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes, especially in an emergency situation, you may need to request assistance or have a professional take over if you are not fully equipped.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Although being in a committed, bonded relationship can enrich your life, feeling unable to function without another person could lead to a problem like Relational Dependency. Relational Dependency is a progressive disorder, meaning that the relationship may start off healthy but one person becomes gradually more controlling of or dependent upon the other, which can lead to an unhealthy relationship. Furthermore, self-actualization is needed for personal growth and is thought to be an essential need that motivates our behavior. In general, those who are independent and self-reliant typically survive and function better in society than those who are dependent on others for happiness and sustainability. Taking control of basic tasks and life skills will not only help you stay in control of your own life but will ultimately contribute to making you a happier person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Independent Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assume responsibility for your life.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being self-reliant is undertaking certain responsibilities that enable people to experience independence. Doing simple things such as paying your bills on time, cleaning up after yourself if you make a mess, and going to work or school on time can help you feel more responsible and self-reliant.\\nIf you do not have a job, you have the responsibility of looking for a job, seeking education that will lead to employment, or starting your own business.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be informed.\", \"描述\": \"Information is power, so having information will give you the power to make your own decisions and assert your independence. Try to be well-rounded and keep up with information about what is going on in your place of business or school, your town, your state, your country, and the world.\\nFor example, knowing that a local ordinance determining whether backyard chickens can be kept in your area is coming up for a vote can give you the opportunity to lobby and vote for the ability to keep chickens for fresh eggs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know where you are going.\", \"描述\": \"You should have a sense of direction. Something has to drive you. For example, if you are attending college, you should at least have an idea of what you want to do after college and what you are passionate about studying. You should also try to set goals for yourself. Try setting short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals, then be realistic about what you need to do to meet those goals.\\nSeek out a career counselor if you are not sure what you’d like to do with your life. Career self-assessments can be found online. Many websites like this one can offer helpful guidance.\\nMost schools have career centers or guidance counselors available to all enrolled students. These resources can help you shape a vision for your future.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make your own decisions.\", \"描述\": \"Allowing people to make your decisions for you is essentially giving up your independence and self-reliance. Assert yourself and make decisions for yourself based on your goals and dreams. While it is important to be considerate towards other people, it is not necessary to give up your ability to make your own decisions.\\nFor example, if you are looking for a place to live with a roommate, be sure you are making decisions based on what is best for you. If you prefer to rent a house and have a bit more independence than an apartment building, stick to your preference and do not allow your roommate to talk you into something that you don’t want to do.\\nIt can also be common for some people to allow their spouses or significant others to make all the decisions in their relationship, from where to go out to eat to where to live and what kind of car to buy. Changing the dynamic of such a relationship may strain the relationship, but having a part in the decision making at both daily and long-term levels can give you greater control of your life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Managing Money Independently\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn how to manage money.\", \"描述\": \"Allowing someone else to manage your money can lead to unwanted debt, little freedom to use the money as you see fit, or a loss of financial acumen about how to handle finances.\\nThese outcomes could make you more dependent on the person managing your money, which not only makes it difficult to leave an unhealthy relationship, if needed, but also has the potential to create difficult position should that other person no longer handle the finances (e.g., due to severe illness or death).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get out of debt.\", \"描述\": \"Experts say your total monthly long-term debt payments should not exceed 36% of your gross monthly income (i.e., your income before taxes, health insurance premiums, etc. are taken out). Long-term debt includes your mortgage, auto payments, student loans, and of course, credit cards.\\nIf you exceed 36% of your gross monthly income, create a plan on how you will pay down the debt, starting with the credit lines with the highest interest rates.\\nPossibilities include transferring balances to a lower interest rate credit line, re-designing your monthly budget to allocate more funds to debt servicing, or consolidating debt into one payment with a low interest rate. For example, if you own your own home and can re-finance, it may be possible to use the equity in your home to pay down your debt without opening another line of credit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay cash instead of using your credit card.\", \"描述\": \"While you pay down your credit cards, resist the urge to add more to your running total. The only way you will get out of debt is to squash the debt you’ve generated in the past. While you are paying down debt, if you don’t have the cash to cover the costs, skip the purchase.You could also use a debit card, which is equivalent to paying cash. Try not to borrow a friend or family member's money either.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep cash on hand at all times.\", \"描述\": \"Make it easier to pay with cash by keeping a stash on hand at all times. However, make sure you keep your cash in a safe place. Also, make sure to build up plenty of savings so that if unexpected expenses arise (as they most likely will), you can pay out of savings rather than taking on more debt.\\nThink about savings as a way to make a 0% interest loan to yourself. For this reason, sometimes it makes more financial sense to save rather than pay down your debt.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Own a home.\", \"描述\": \"Building credit and equity by owning a piece of property is still one of the best ways to become self-reliant and build wealth. Leases can lock you into a living situation you do not like and landlords can change the terms of the lease when you renew, which may force you out of a living situation before you want to change.\\nWhen buying property, search for homes or condos within your budget (meaning you don’t want to take on a mortgage payment that exceeds 28% of your monthly income).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Live within your means.\", \"描述\": \"Create a monthly budget and stick to it. This is possible if you are honest about your expenses and build in allowances for unforeseen expenses. If you don’t know where your money goes each month, go through your living expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, taxes) along with how often you eat out, what you buy, gas purchases and entertainment expenses.\\nA sample monthly budget may look something like this:\\nMortgage/Rent: $1,000\\nCar payment: $400\\nGas/Electric: $200\\nWater: $30\\nCell Phone: $100\\nTelevision/Internet: $100\\nFood: $800\\nEntertainment: $150\\nHomeowner’s/Renter’s Insurance: $300\\nHealth Insurance: $300\\nCar Insurance: $100\\nGas for vehicle: $200\\nChild Care: $600\\nCredit card payments: $200\\nOther Expenses (may include child support, alimony, activities or classes, property taxes, or additional utility services such as trash/recycling pick-up or a “land line” telephone bill.)\\n\\nSeeing the expenses as compared to your monthly income on paper may create more of awareness about what you can and cannot afford.\\nThis gives you a chance to talk to people with whom you share money and set expectations about how money should be managed, which keeps you involved and more self-reliant.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Living with Self-Reliance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify and have knowledge of which things you must be responsible for.\", \"描述\": \"Some things are your responsibility whether you are aware of them or not. Being aware of them therefore allows you to actually take responsibility and look after yourself very well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cook your own meals.\", \"描述\": \"Allowing others to cook for you or buying ready-to-eat meals leads to a dependence on others that compromises your self-reliance.Cooking your own meals allows you to save money and eat more healthfully, as well as a sense of accomplishment.\\nTake a class or learn to cook online or from television. If you are very uncomfortable in the kitchen, consider taking a class for beginners at a local community college or follow a chef on one of the food network channels. Several celebrity chefs host shows demonstrating easy recipes that can be replicated by even the most apprehensive chef.\\nAsk a relative to teach you to cook. This is a great way to learn cooking basics. Additionally, you can bond with the relative or even learn to cook special family recipes handed down from generation to generation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plant a garden.\", \"描述\": \"A fun way to harbor independence is to grow your own food. A garden provides an inexpensive and interactive way to produce fruits and vegetables on a seasonal basis, which may also provide higher satisfaction when it comes to eating.\\nIf you live in an urban area, you may not be able to grow a full-sized garden, but you might be able to keep a tomato plant on a balcony or grow a box of herbs to flavor your food. Some urban areas even have community garden spaces or rooftop gardens that you may be able to use or contribute to.\\nSome communities offer gardening tools for rent or host beginner gardening classes at the library. These types of resources can help you if you are a beginner.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Master emergency health basics.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing what to do in an emergency health situation can help you possibly save a life and lend you the confidence of feeling independent, even in the face of an emergency.\\nTake a CPR class. In addition to the Red Cross, community colleges and hospitals offer courses in CPR and first aid, which can help you know what to do in the event of an emergency that involves choking or unconsciousness.\\nLearn what is necessary during an emergency situation. Would you know what to do if you were camping in the wilderness and a snake bit a friend? Knowing how to tackle the “what if” scenario will help you be the go-to person in an emergency. The Red Cross has a free application for portable devices that offers instructions on what to do in a wide range of situations.\\nPractice using medical equipment. If you or your partner require ongoing medical treatment, depending on a health care professional to give an injection or an IV on an ongoing basis may not be very convenient. Ask a nurse to teach you how to use certain at-home devices in order to be in control of the situation and provide you (or your loved one) with greater independence.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand basic auto mechanic repair.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be that damsel in distress on the side of the road if your tire blows. Waiting for automotive assistance can put you in a vulnerable position, leaving you open to danger. For the following basic repairs, YouTube is a valuable resource for seeing how these repairs are done. For basic repairs, it may be possible to find a video for your exact make and model car, which can be helpful in case your car requires a non-standard method of repair.\\nLearn how to change a tire. Basic tire changes can be performed by anyone with the knowledge and skill. The basic formula is to loosen the lug nuts, raise the vehicle with a jack, remove the lug nuts, remove the tire, place the spare tire on the bolts, replace the lug nuts, lower the car, and tighten the lug nuts. Consult your vehicle manual and ask a trained professional for a demonstration.\\nDiscover how an engine and belts work. Being able to examine and know when a belt is about to blow or if you could be experiencing engine trouble can save you not only time but money. Furthermore, changing belts are simple tasks where the labor charge for the mechanic will generally far exceed the cost of the belt itself. Taking the time to do it yourself can offer real financial savings.\\nPractice performing a basic oil and fluid change. Vehicle oil and fluids must be changed and topped off on a rotating basis. A simple oil change can be performed at home with the right materials and knowledge. Each system has different recommendations and your owner’s manual can tell you at what mileages you should perform certain maintenance tasks.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain your health.\", \"描述\": \"Declare your independence from prescription medication and seeing the doctor for every ache and pain by staying as healthy as possible on your own.\\nExercise regularly. The American Heart Association recommends exercising 3 to 4 times a week to reduce cholesterol and blood pressure. Keep the blood flowing and tissues healthy by indulging in a little cardio or anaerobic exercise on a regular basis.\\nEat a clean, healthy diet. Respecting your body means that you fill it with wholesome food that is grown from the earth and in its original state. Ditch processed, greasy fast food, packaged chips and sugary foods and drinks in order to nourish and preserve your body.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Know when to visit your doctor.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to decide to take control of your health by simply never going to the doctor again. However, this is not always the best approach, as there are cases in which medical assistance may be necessary.\\nIf you are a “regular” at your physician’s office due to a chronic condition, you may see those visits wane if you stick to a healthy diet and exercise routine. However, you should continue to maintain a regular schedule of healthy check-ups and routine tests based on your age and risk factors for early detection.\\nKnow whether you are at risk for specific diseases due to your health, family history, and lifestyle.\\nLearn the warning signs for life-threatening conditions such as heart disease, stroke, COPD, chronic lower respiratory disease, cancer (specifically, lung cancer), HIV/AIDs, diarrheal disease, and diabetes.\\nConsider learning additional conditions that are common causes of death in the US: Alzheimer’s disease, influenza and pneumonia, kidney disease, and suicide or those that can cause significant disability, such as arthritis, depressive disorders, and substance use disorder.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Live off the grid.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to assert your independence, try living off the grid. Save money on energy expenses by living off the land and demonstrate you really can live without assistance.\\nConsider growing all your food. From a garden to foraging for berries and mushrooms, learn about the different types of food you can grow and eat in the wild. Be extremely cautious about eating anything growing in the wild as some plants are poisonous. You may also be able to hunt for your own meat, but be sure to follow local hunting regulations.\\nExplore alternative energy. Join the “green” initiative and investigate various alternative energy resources available today. You’ll save money and reduce your carbon footprint by taking a few simple steps. Just make sure that you do not end up taking on debt or agreeing to a lease that eliminates the financial benefits.\\nTry before you buy. If you are not sure if you can live off the grid, considering looking for a vacation rental home that is off the grid (e.g., in a secluded area such as an island or an isolated forest) and turn your next vacation into a fact-finding mission.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Feeling Emotionally Self-Reliant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to take care of your own feelings and emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Emotional self-reliance means that you can process your own emotions and do not require others to validate your experience and feelings for you. Learning to process feelings and emotions on your own means learning how to be introspective and look for less obvious reasons for feelings rather than taking things at face value.\\nThis process can lead to insight about the root of your feelings and ways to you can begin to avoid negative feelings.\\nWays to learn how to be more introspective and thoughtful include professional therapy, self-help books, and certain religious teachings (e.g., buddhist teaching on identity and the ways that it can contribute to suffering).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain feelings of self-reliance.\", \"描述\": \"If you already feel emotionally self-reliant in your relationship, you should seek to keep that feeling, even in the face of a major change, such as expecting a new child.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid emotional “triangles” whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"Often people respond to hurt feelings by engaging others to help them process the experience and to avoid talking with the person that hurt them directly. The psychologist Murray Bowen calls these situations “triangles.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express your anxieties appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"If there is something weighing on your relationship, express your anxieties and share experiences without allowing other people to heighten your anxiety, make your anxiety chronic, or trying to solve the problem for you. \\nPut another way, people should act as resources to one another, but should not make the situation worse, and should not replace an individual’s own thinking.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Share responsibilities equitably.\", \"描述\": \"When two or more people have a shared responsibility, individuals must be self-reliant by meeting their individual responsibilities in a fair way. \\nPeople must also be able to meet individual responsibilities without neglecting shared responsibilities.\\nEach person in a relationship must remain confident of the loyalty and commitment of the other people, as well as their ability to meet their responsibilities.\\nFor example, if a couple has a baby, they will have shared responsibilities as parents and individual responsibilities as a worker or primary caregiver. If one person stays at home to care for the child, the person who goes back to work will have unique responsibilities and concerns. The person who stays at home will also have unique responsibilities and concerns.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask for help when you need to.\", \"描述\": \"You should try to differentiate between anxieties/problems that you can process/solve on your own and those that you need help with. \\nIf your threshold for going to someone else is too low, other people may feel burdened and become less receptive and willing to help. You may also become dependent on others.\\nIf your threshold is too high, you may become resentful and begin to see other people as selfish, uncaring, and unsupportive. You may also not get the support you need.\\nUsing others for help is healthy so long as the person does not develop a dependency on any one person for processing emotions, and the partner does not feel like loyalty and commitment have been lost.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Assess whether new challenges are shared or individual responsibilities.\", \"描述\": \"As relationships grow, there will continue to be issues and responsibilities that are specific to one person, as well as issues and responsibilities that are shared. \\nAs these issues arise, one must recognize whether the issue/responsibility is their own or shared, and one must engage the other partner or other resources as needed.\\nLike a President or other head of state discussing an issue with key advisors, the individual must be able to trust himself or herself, as well as the people being consulted to be self-reliant. He or she must also know when the decision should be shared and make sure that the other person feels trusted and involved.\\nFor example, as a couple’s child grows, both parents must develop their own relationship with the child and their own parenting style while also co-parenting, especially on larger issues that require both parents to work through (e.g., going to college). People must take care of their own responsibilities and feelings while also recognizing the right of the other parent to do things differently at times.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Process emotions through journaling.\", \"描述\": \"To help you keep track of the emotional development within a relationship, consider keeping a journal. A journal is basically a day-to-day record of your activities, but it is different from a diary in that the focus of the writing is inward and the tone is reflective and musing. For example, instead of simply saying that you and your partner went to look at baby furniture, you focus on how you felt throughout the experience, using the events of the day to help organize your thoughts. Journal writing is self-directed and has no fixed rules or procedures, but here are some tips that may make it easier to get started:\\nFind a special spot that is clean, comfortable, and quiet. You should also be able to return to this spot often and, if privacy is important to you, this spot should be relatively private.\\nBefore you write, allow yourself time to relax and reflect. Use music to stimulate your emotions.\\nWhen you are ready to go, just write. Do not worry about perfect grammar, spelling, or word choice. Do not worry about how others might read what you are writing or how it would affect their opinion of you. Think of your journal as a confidential and judgment-free space.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be persistent with your journal.\", \"描述\": \"If you have trouble writing, use one of these prompts using emotion. To decide which emotion either take the first emotion word that pops into your head or grab a dictionary, thesaurus, or any book and flip through until you find an emotion word. Don’t spend time selecting a word, just take the first one you find. Insert that emotion word wherever you see <emotion> below. If the emotion was particularly important to you, take a week to write with all six prompts and use the seventh day to read over what you have written:\\nWrite <emotion> at the top of the page and free associate down/across the page until you feel at peace and no thoughts are coming to mind.\\nWhat does it mean for you to feel <emotion>?\\nWhen have you felt most <emotion>? Are you more or less connected to others when you feel <emotion>?\\nWhen have you felt least <emotion>? Are you more or less connected to others when you do not feel <emotion>?\\nHow do you react to <emotion> in others? What is the source of this reaction?\\nReflect on a quote that includes <emotion> in it. (Use an online quote search engine, such as http://www.faganfinder.com/quotes/, to find a quote with your emotion word in it).\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Review your journal entries.\", \"描述\": \"As your journal grows, periodically review what you have written, focusing on the ways that your relationships have changed, and you have become more/less self-reliant.\\nWhere you see room for more self-reliance, think about ways to (1) assume responsibility, (2) be informed, (3) know where you are going, and (4) make your own decisions.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Seek counseling if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"While it may seem counter-intuitive, getting helped from a good therapist can make you feel more self-reliant. Journaling can bring up emotions that can be difficult to deal with on your own, so be ready to ask for help if you begin to feel overly anxious or depressed.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Learn something new every year. Whether it’s learning how to weave baskets or how to administer an IV to your dog; learning a completely new skill will add to your bag of tricks.\\n\", \"Meet people from all backgrounds and disciplines. You can learn a tremendous amount from others so seek out genuine, good people from various backgrounds and skill sets.\\n\", \"Maintain an emergency kit at home that includes enough bottled water for everyone in your family for two to three days, non-perishable food, flashlights, a radio and a first aid kit.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Although an independent lifestyle can build confidence and overall inner peace, never be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes, especially in an emergency situation, you may need to request assistance or have a professional take over if you are not fully equipped.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,141 | How to Be Selfless | 1. Try to help one random person each day.
It could be big or small, as long as you make the commitment.
Maybe you let someone in a rush go ahead of you on line, maybe you give money to a homeless person, or maybe you lent a hand on a project to a stressed coworker. Every little thing you do helps make the world a better place.
It’s okay if the opportunity to help someone doesn’t come up every day. Just make the commitment to help if the situation does come up.
2. Volunteer your time for a good cause.
This is a great way to practice generosity and contribute to the world.
There are probably tons of local organizations that you can do some volunteer work with. Dedicate a few hours on the weekends to give back to your community.
Popular volunteer work includes handing out food in a soup kitchen, helping clean up local parks, caring for animals at a shelter, and helping organize town events.
If you want to do bigger volunteer projects, you could also join an organization like the Peace Corps.
If you need more motivation, volunteering has great personal and mental health benefits too.
3. Support charities with regular donations.
Giving up on frivolous things to help others is a selfless quality.
If you're able to, find some charities that you'd like to support and set up a regular donation to them. Your support will help them keep doing their great work.
It's okay to skip giving money if you're not financially secure. There are tons of other ways to help people!
4. Make yourself available for friends and family.
The people in your everyday life could probably use a helping hand!
If someone asks you for some help, do all you can to make that happen. It might be a little inconvenient, but it’ll really improve their day.
Keep an eye out for little opportunities to help, like if your neighbor is carrying something heavy. Maybe they didn’t ask for your help, but they’ll appreciate you going over to offer a hand.
Remember that it’s okay to say no if helping someone will put undue strain on you. Don’t run yourself ragged!
5. Be patient with others to practice empathy.
Expecting everything at the drop of a hat is a selfish quality.
If you're getting impatient, take a step back. Understand that in most cases, the people around you are trying their best, and you just need to be understanding. This keeps things in perspective and prevents you from losing your temper.
This quality can help improve your personal relationships too. Patient people usually attract other people because they're easier to be around.
Being patient doesn't mean you can't communicate your needs to others. It just means understanding that you can't always have instant gratification.
6. Listen when others vent their feelings to you.
Good, active listening is key to understanding people’s needs.
If someone starts opening up to you, let them do it without interrupting. Being generous with your time like this will show others that you’re the kind of person they can come to with problems.
Try to avoid offering advice unless they ask for it. People who are venting usually just want to get things off their chest.
Sometimes it helps to repeat what the person said back to them so they know you’ve heard and understood them.
7. Put yourself in other people’s shoes.
You’ll be more motivated to help people if you can empathize with them.
Try to identify with the people around you and understand where they’re coming from. This is a great way to see people as individuals and get rid of any preconceived motions you may have had.
Volunteer work is a good way to see how other people live. You can really broaden your horizons this way.
Good listening is also a good way to understand people and their needs better.
8. Admit when you’re wrong.
This isn’t fun and no one wants to do it, but it’s an important quality.
Believing you can never be wrong is a selfish quality. Don’t act like you know all the answers. Accept that other people might have the correct answers, and if you are wrong, own it and admit it. This will probably feel better than you’re expecting it to!
This usually makes your personal relationships stronger too. Friends, family, and partners probably won’t like it if you act like you’re never wrong.
Remember that being wrong is an opportunity to learn. If you pretend you’re never wrong, you won’t be able to grow as a person.
9. Let others be the center of attention.
Selfish people are one-uppers and don’t like when others get attention.
Be willing to take a step back and let others enjoy their accomplishments without trying to focus attention on yourself. Don’t worry—you’ll have your day too!
If the boss compliments someone at work, for example, offer them a nice congratulations. Maybe you wanted some attention for your work too, but let your coworker have their moment.
You might not notice if you’re a one-upper, but try to monitor your behavior when someone else is getting attention. If you feel like you want that attention focused on you instead, then this might be something to work on.
10. Don’t have rewards in mind when you help others.
The point of being selfless is making the world a better place.
If you’re hoping for rewards when you help others, then you’re not really being selfless. Forget about being paid back for what you do and take satisfaction in your good work instead.
Over time, you’ll realize that helping others makes you feel good, which is like a reward in itself.
Note that this doesn’t mean you should continue giving all your effort to people who don’t appreciate it or take advantage of you, like in a relationship. This leads to resentment on your part.
11. Make time for self-care too.
Being selfless doesn’t mean neglecting yourself or your health.
Continue making time for yourself, doing your hobbies, resting, and overall taking care of yourself. That way, you’ll have plenty of energy to keep helping others.
Remember, you’ll be able to help people better if you’re rested and refreshed!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Try to help one random person each day.\\nIt could be big or small, as long as you make the commitment.\\nMaybe you let someone in a rush go ahead of you on line, maybe you give money to a homeless person, or maybe you lent a hand on a project to a stressed coworker. Every little thing you do helps make the world a better place.\\nIt’s okay if the opportunity to help someone doesn’t come up every day. Just make the commitment to help if the situation does come up.\\n2. Volunteer your time for a good cause.\\nThis is a great way to practice generosity and contribute to the world.\\nThere are probably tons of local organizations that you can do some volunteer work with. Dedicate a few hours on the weekends to give back to your community.\\nPopular volunteer work includes handing out food in a soup kitchen, helping clean up local parks, caring for animals at a shelter, and helping organize town events.\\nIf you want to do bigger volunteer projects, you could also join an organization like the Peace Corps.\\nIf you need more motivation, volunteering has great personal and mental health benefits too.\\n3. Support charities with regular donations.\\nGiving up on frivolous things to help others is a selfless quality.\\nIf you're able to, find some charities that you'd like to support and set up a regular donation to them. Your support will help them keep doing their great work.\\nIt's okay to skip giving money if you're not financially secure. There are tons of other ways to help people!\\n4. Make yourself available for friends and family.\\nThe people in your everyday life could probably use a helping hand!\\nIf someone asks you for some help, do all you can to make that happen. It might be a little inconvenient, but it’ll really improve their day.\\nKeep an eye out for little opportunities to help, like if your neighbor is carrying something heavy. Maybe they didn’t ask for your help, but they’ll appreciate you going over to offer a hand.\\nRemember that it’s okay to say no if helping someone will put undue strain on you. Don’t run yourself ragged!\\n5. Be patient with others to practice empathy.\\nExpecting everything at the drop of a hat is a selfish quality.\\nIf you're getting impatient, take a step back. Understand that in most cases, the people around you are trying their best, and you just need to be understanding. This keeps things in perspective and prevents you from losing your temper.\\nThis quality can help improve your personal relationships too. Patient people usually attract other people because they're easier to be around.\\nBeing patient doesn't mean you can't communicate your needs to others. It just means understanding that you can't always have instant gratification.\\n6. Listen when others vent their feelings to you.\\nGood, active listening is key to understanding people’s needs.\\nIf someone starts opening up to you, let them do it without interrupting. Being generous with your time like this will show others that you’re the kind of person they can come to with problems.\\nTry to avoid offering advice unless they ask for it. People who are venting usually just want to get things off their chest.\\nSometimes it helps to repeat what the person said back to them so they know you’ve heard and understood them.\\n7. Put yourself in other people’s shoes.\\nYou’ll be more motivated to help people if you can empathize with them.\\nTry to identify with the people around you and understand where they’re coming from. This is a great way to see people as individuals and get rid of any preconceived motions you may have had.\\nVolunteer work is a good way to see how other people live. You can really broaden your horizons this way.\\nGood listening is also a good way to understand people and their needs better.\\n8. Admit when you’re wrong.\\nThis isn’t fun and no one wants to do it, but it’s an important quality.\\nBelieving you can never be wrong is a selfish quality. Don’t act like you know all the answers. Accept that other people might have the correct answers, and if you are wrong, own it and admit it. This will probably feel better than you’re expecting it to!\\nThis usually makes your personal relationships stronger too. Friends, family, and partners probably won’t like it if you act like you’re never wrong.\\nRemember that being wrong is an opportunity to learn. If you pretend you’re never wrong, you won’t be able to grow as a person.\\n9. Let others be the center of attention.\\nSelfish people are one-uppers and don’t like when others get attention.\\nBe willing to take a step back and let others enjoy their accomplishments without trying to focus attention on yourself. Don’t worry—you’ll have your day too!\\nIf the boss compliments someone at work, for example, offer them a nice congratulations. Maybe you wanted some attention for your work too, but let your coworker have their moment.\\nYou might not notice if you’re a one-upper, but try to monitor your behavior when someone else is getting attention. If you feel like you want that attention focused on you instead, then this might be something to work on.\\n10. Don’t have rewards in mind when you help others.\\nThe point of being selfless is making the world a better place.\\nIf you’re hoping for rewards when you help others, then you’re not really being selfless. Forget about being paid back for what you do and take satisfaction in your good work instead.\\nOver time, you’ll realize that helping others makes you feel good, which is like a reward in itself.\\nNote that this doesn’t mean you should continue giving all your effort to people who don’t appreciate it or take advantage of you, like in a relationship. This leads to resentment on your part.\\n11. Make time for self-care too.\\nBeing selfless doesn’t mean neglecting yourself or your health.\\nContinue making time for yourself, doing your hobbies, resting, and overall taking care of yourself. That way, you’ll have plenty of energy to keep helping others.\\nRemember, you’ll be able to help people better if you’re rested and refreshed!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Selflessness basically means that you’re more concerned about others’ feelings and wellbeing than your own. It’s safe to say that the world would be a much better place if we were all a little more selfless. It starts at the individual level, so you can start making that change today! There are tons of easy ways to start being more selfless in your everyday life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to help one random person each day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It could be big or small, as long as you make the commitment.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you let someone in a rush go ahead of you on line, maybe you give money to a homeless person, or maybe you lent a hand on a project to a stressed coworker. Every little thing you do helps make the world a better place.\\nIt’s okay if the opportunity to help someone doesn’t come up every day. Just make the commitment to help if the situation does come up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Volunteer your time for a good cause.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a great way to practice generosity and contribute to the world.\", \"描述\": \"There are probably tons of local organizations that you can do some volunteer work with. Dedicate a few hours on the weekends to give back to your community.\\nPopular volunteer work includes handing out food in a soup kitchen, helping clean up local parks, caring for animals at a shelter, and helping organize town events.\\nIf you want to do bigger volunteer projects, you could also join an organization like the Peace Corps.\\nIf you need more motivation, volunteering has great personal and mental health benefits too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Support charities with regular donations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving up on frivolous things to help others is a selfless quality.\", \"描述\": \"If you're able to, find some charities that you'd like to support and set up a regular donation to them. Your support will help them keep doing their great work.\\nIt's okay to skip giving money if you're not financially secure. There are tons of other ways to help people!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make yourself available for friends and family.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The people in your everyday life could probably use a helping hand!\", \"描述\": \"If someone asks you for some help, do all you can to make that happen. It might be a little inconvenient, but it’ll really improve their day.\\nKeep an eye out for little opportunities to help, like if your neighbor is carrying something heavy. Maybe they didn’t ask for your help, but they’ll appreciate you going over to offer a hand.\\nRemember that it’s okay to say no if helping someone will put undue strain on you. Don’t run yourself ragged!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be patient with others to practice empathy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Expecting everything at the drop of a hat is a selfish quality.\", \"描述\": \"If you're getting impatient, take a step back. Understand that in most cases, the people around you are trying their best, and you just need to be understanding. This keeps things in perspective and prevents you from losing your temper.\\nThis quality can help improve your personal relationships too. Patient people usually attract other people because they're easier to be around.\\nBeing patient doesn't mean you can't communicate your needs to others. It just means understanding that you can't always have instant gratification.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen when others vent their feelings to you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Good, active listening is key to understanding people’s needs.\", \"描述\": \"If someone starts opening up to you, let them do it without interrupting. Being generous with your time like this will show others that you’re the kind of person they can come to with problems.\\nTry to avoid offering advice unless they ask for it. People who are venting usually just want to get things off their chest.\\nSometimes it helps to repeat what the person said back to them so they know you’ve heard and understood them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in other people’s shoes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’ll be more motivated to help people if you can empathize with them.\", \"描述\": \"Try to identify with the people around you and understand where they’re coming from. This is a great way to see people as individuals and get rid of any preconceived motions you may have had.\\nVolunteer work is a good way to see how other people live. You can really broaden your horizons this way.\\nGood listening is also a good way to understand people and their needs better.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Admit when you’re wrong.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This isn’t fun and no one wants to do it, but it’s an important quality.\", \"描述\": \"Believing you can never be wrong is a selfish quality. Don’t act like you know all the answers. Accept that other people might have the correct answers, and if you are wrong, own it and admit it. This will probably feel better than you’re expecting it to!\\nThis usually makes your personal relationships stronger too. Friends, family, and partners probably won’t like it if you act like you’re never wrong.\\nRemember that being wrong is an opportunity to learn. If you pretend you’re never wrong, you won’t be able to grow as a person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Let others be the center of attention.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Selfish people are one-uppers and don’t like when others get attention.\", \"描述\": \"Be willing to take a step back and let others enjoy their accomplishments without trying to focus attention on yourself. Don’t worry—you’ll have your day too!\\nIf the boss compliments someone at work, for example, offer them a nice congratulations. Maybe you wanted some attention for your work too, but let your coworker have their moment.\\nYou might not notice if you’re a one-upper, but try to monitor your behavior when someone else is getting attention. If you feel like you want that attention focused on you instead, then this might be something to work on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Don’t have rewards in mind when you help others.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The point of being selfless is making the world a better place.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re hoping for rewards when you help others, then you’re not really being selfless. Forget about being paid back for what you do and take satisfaction in your good work instead.\\nOver time, you’ll realize that helping others makes you feel good, which is like a reward in itself.\\nNote that this doesn’t mean you should continue giving all your effort to people who don’t appreciate it or take advantage of you, like in a relationship. This leads to resentment on your part.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Make time for self-care too.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being selfless doesn’t mean neglecting yourself or your health.\", \"描述\": \"Continue making time for yourself, doing your hobbies, resting, and overall taking care of yourself. That way, you’ll have plenty of energy to keep helping others.\\nRemember, you’ll be able to help people better if you’re rested and refreshed!\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,142 | How to Be Sensitive to Other People's Feelings | 1. Recognizing Social Cues About Emotions
1-1. Pay attention to the person’s face.
The face is the part of the body that is most likely to show emotions. If you’re trying to determine whether someone is sad, upset, lonely or otherwise in pain, start by looking closely at the person’s facial expression.
Unlike some social cues, the seven basic facial expressions are said to be universal in expression across all cultures. These expressions are joy, surprise, contempt, anger, disgust, sadness, and fear.
Facial expressions change rapidly, and may communicate more than one emotion at a time. For example, the person’s face may show both amusement and fear if something very surprising has happened.
1-2. Learn the signs of sadness.
When someone is sad, you’ll likely be able to see it on his face. It won’t look like a cartoon drawn with an upside-down smile, but the corners of the person’s lips are likely to be slightly drawn down, while the jaw comes up.
The inner corners of the person’s eyebrows will be pulled slightly inward, and up towards the forehead.
Look for the skin below the person’s eyebrow to appear slightly triangulated, with inner corner turning up.
1-3. Be aware of signs of fear.
Being sensitive to when someone's afraid can help you alter your own behavior. When someone is afraid, her mouth will likely be held open with her lips slightly stretched and drawn back. Her brows are usually raised and drawn together in a flat line.
Examine her forehead, and look for wrinkles in the center between the brows, not across.
If someone's afraid, the upper eyelid will be raised, while the lower lid is tense. The upper white of the eye will be visible, but not the lower.
1-4. Consider body movement and posture.
Signs of someone’s fatigue might include slumping shoulders and loosely held limbs. If a person feels defensive, he may cross his hands, or shake his head. If you’re attentive to these cues, you’ll be more aware of another person’s feelings.
If you’re not sure if you’re interpreting the person’s body language correctly, it’s usually okay to ask the person verbally.
However, if the person himself isn’t aware what he’s communicating, he might respond by telling you everything’s fine when it really isn’t.
1-5. Think about what vocal tone might communicate.
Most people naturally modulate their tone of voice to suit the size of the room, i.e., in order to be heard. If you’re in a large room, and the person is speaking loudly, it’s likely that she’s just trying to be heard. However, the same vocal tone in a small space can indicate frustration, anger or fear.
If the person is finding it difficult to talk, it’s possible that she’s upset or close to tears.
If she’s speaking in an arch, overly articulate manner, it’s likely that she’s being sarcastic. Since sarcasm is a form of teasing, this might indicate that she’s angry but trying to pretend not to be.
2. Listening with Empathy
2-1. Clarify that you understand what another person said.
Summarizing or paraphrasing what the other person has said will allow you to share your understanding of his meaning, and offer him a chance to let you know if you’ve understood him correctly. If you’ve not understood what he meant, this practice can help prevent misunderstanding.
This step might feel like it slows down a conversation. That’s okay, because it will also keep feelings from getting hurt through misunderstanding. However, you can also ask someone to repeat what he's said. Saying, “Excuse me?” or “Would you mind repeating that?” are polite ways to ask someone for clarification.
Remember that this will be most important to do when you’re talking about sensitive topics.
2-2. Give your full attention to the person speaking.
Your undivided attention will increase your sensitivity to another person’s feelings. If you’re looking around the room, or distracted by another activity, you’re unlikely to be tuned in to another person’s feelings.
If you’re listening and trying to fix some problem the person has at the same time, then you’re less likely to be able to really hear what the person is trying to say. Trying to help is a kind of judgment. For best results, listen first.
Some people can listen more attentively when they’re doing something with their hands, but for other people this might look like inattention. If it is easier for you to listen when your hands are occupied, make sure you let your friend know this.
2-3. Listen without judgment.
Try to take the speaker’s perspective as she talks, rather than responding from your own point of view. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with what the other person is saying. It just means that while the person is talking, keep an open mind.
Refrain from analysis of what the person is saying until after she has finished.
Think about who’s talking. If you’re really paying attention to someone as she talks, you’ll also be better able to consider why they’re saying what they are saying. For example, if the person is a mother of a teenager who’s been in trouble, she may be more anxious and judgmental about moral behavior.
2-4. Use good manners.
Being pleasant and courteous to other people is a good way to be respectful. Most of us teach children to say “please” and “thank you” to people as a way to show politeness. Remembering the basics of etiquette will help keep you from accidentally hurting someone else’s feelings.
Good manners also include careful listening and sensitivity to someone else’s feelings. For example, refraining from interrupting another person while he’s talking, or nodding to show agreement and understanding are ways that polite behavior can show respect for another person.
One of the things that many children are taught is the adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” While this may not always be appropriate advice, a thoughtful restatement of the adage could be, “If you can’t say something nice, consider saving your comment to share later with someone else.”
2-5. Acknowledge what the person has said.
You can do this in many different ways. For example, you can repeat the person’s statement, nod to show you’re listening, or offer encouragement for the person by saying, “Yes,” or “I hear you.” All of these affirm to the speaker that you’re engaged in the conversation, and that the person’s feelings are important to you.
Acknowledging what the person has said doesn’t mean that you always have to agree with her statements. Even if you strongly disagree, you can respectfully acknowledge the person’s perspective.
It’s important to communicate gently on sensitive topics.
2-6. Don’t respond too quickly.
If you’re involved in an emotional conversation, it can be easy to get caught up in your own feelings. This increases the likeliness of saying something that hurts another person’s feelings. Chances are high that you’ll say something you later regret.
Instead, when you feel yourself getting heated, take a deep breath before responding. Count to five internally.
Research shows that when your pulse goes above 100 beats per minute, you’re more likely to make poor word choices.
If you feel like you can’t calm down, it’s okay to take a break from the conversation.
3. Communicating Kindly
3-1. Ask questions.
Asking questions is a great way to learn more about the perspective of the other person. Questions will also allow the person to indirectly know that you value his thoughts and feelings. Being open to whatever the person might have to say is a sign of compassionate communication.
Make sure your questions are open-ended, allowing the person to choose how to respond. Leading questions, or questions that are attempting to persuade someone else of the correctness of your own point of view, don’t show respect for the other person’s feelings.
If you ask questions that can be answered with yes or no, make sure you allow the person time to provide additional clarification if he chooses.
3-2. Choose the best way to express your feelings.
It’s vital that you have a way to express your emotions, but in order to be sensitive to another person’s feelings you may have to take care in how you do this. Sticking to statements that start with “I” will help you say what you’re feeling without appearing to blame another person.
For example, “I’m feeling sad about what you just said, because it reminds me of an experience I had in high school…” will be kinder than “You’re wrong, because when I was in high school, this happened to me.”
If you’re expressing empathy with the other person in the conversation, chances are he’ll be able to respond to your feelings with empathy as well.
3-3. Affirm the positive when offering criticism.
When offering feedback, make sure to offset any negative criticism with an equal or greater affirmation of what you find the person doing well. Be very free to find areas that you feel you can genuinely appreciate, and be sparing (but direct) with any criticism.
Being sensitive to someone’s feelings doesn’t mean pretending to be someone you’re not. However, before you offer your opinion or ideas about another person’s experience, always check and make sure that the person wants your honest opinion.
Focusing your feedback on the person’s actions, rather than who she is as a person, may help prevent hurt feelings.
3-4. Avoid platitudes and cliches.
If a person is going through a hard time, try not to say things like “Everything happens for a reason,” or “I know exactly how you feel.” Your intentions may be good, but telling someone that his bad experience may be “a blessing in disguise” is insensitive to your friend’s feelings.
Instead, acknowledge the person’s feelings. Some variation of “I’m sorry this happened,” is likely to be met with appreciation, as are statements like “What you’re going through sounds really hard.”
It’s okay to let him know that you don’t know what his experience is like. If you’ve been through something similar, acknowledge that what he's going through may be different from your own.
3-5. Use body language to communicate respect.
Your nonverbal communication may be even more important to another person’s interpretation of your message than your words. While the particulars of body language will vary by culture, in general the following are suggested as a way to communicate respect:
Making frequent eye contact while you speak. This will allow another person to realize that you’re sincerely attempting honest communication. However, eye contact shouldn’t be sustained for long periods of time, or it may be interpreted as aggression.
Direct your body towards the other person as you talk.
Intermittent, light touches on the person’s outer arm may communicate friendliness and support. More sustained pressure may not be welcome, or may feel either aggressive or flirtatious. It can be a good idea to ask someone if it’s okay before offering even a light touch. Then, respect the person’s response.
Keep your arms uncrossed and relaxed.
Make sure your facial muscles are relaxed, and smile if this comes easily to you.
4. Taking Care of Your Own Feelings
4-1. Become aware of your feelings.
If you’re going to be sensitive to other people’s feelings, the best place to start is to become aware of your own. If you’re unaware of how you’re feeling during a heated or sensitive conversation, you’re less likely to be able to respond sensitively to others.
Learning to recognize the signs of fear, anger, anxiety, and sadness in yourself will help you more easily empathize with others’ feelings.
Pay attention to concrete signs of your own feelings. For example, notice if your palms start to get sweaty, or if you start to shake. Does your stomach start to ache as your anxiety increases? Does your breath become shallow?
4-2. Learn coping skills.
When you notice signs of strong emotion, you’ll need to know ways to manage your feelings so that they don’t overwhelm you. Whether you cope with your feelings by taking deep breaths, talking to a therapist or a trusted friend, or a combination of approaches, the most important thing is that you allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings in a healthy way.
It can help to remind yourself that strong feelings aren’t wrong or bad. If you’re feeling guilty for having strong feelings, this will only compound your stress.
Having a regular exercise routine will help you cope with strong emotions as well.
4-3. Protect yourself.
If you start to feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break. Your ability to be sensitive to another person’s feelings will diminish if you’re not able to take care of your own feelings.
If there are people or topics that you can’t avoid, make sure to allow yourself time and space to recover afterward.
Realizing that sometimes topics are hard for you because you need to pay attention to them might help you put your own feelings in perspective.
Take a calming walk, spend time playing with your dog, or just take time to sit by yourself breathing deeply.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Recognizing Social Cues About Emotions\\n1-1. Pay attention to the person’s face.\\nThe face is the part of the body that is most likely to show emotions. If you’re trying to determine whether someone is sad, upset, lonely or otherwise in pain, start by looking closely at the person’s facial expression.\\nUnlike some social cues, the seven basic facial expressions are said to be universal in expression across all cultures. These expressions are joy, surprise, contempt, anger, disgust, sadness, and fear.\\nFacial expressions change rapidly, and may communicate more than one emotion at a time. For example, the person’s face may show both amusement and fear if something very surprising has happened.\\n1-2. Learn the signs of sadness.\\nWhen someone is sad, you’ll likely be able to see it on his face. It won’t look like a cartoon drawn with an upside-down smile, but the corners of the person’s lips are likely to be slightly drawn down, while the jaw comes up.\\nThe inner corners of the person’s eyebrows will be pulled slightly inward, and up towards the forehead.\\nLook for the skin below the person’s eyebrow to appear slightly triangulated, with inner corner turning up.\\n1-3. Be aware of signs of fear.\\nBeing sensitive to when someone's afraid can help you alter your own behavior. When someone is afraid, her mouth will likely be held open with her lips slightly stretched and drawn back. Her brows are usually raised and drawn together in a flat line.\\nExamine her forehead, and look for wrinkles in the center between the brows, not across.\\nIf someone's afraid, the upper eyelid will be raised, while the lower lid is tense. The upper white of the eye will be visible, but not the lower.\\n1-4. Consider body movement and posture.\\nSigns of someone’s fatigue might include slumping shoulders and loosely held limbs. If a person feels defensive, he may cross his hands, or shake his head. If you’re attentive to these cues, you’ll be more aware of another person’s feelings.\\nIf you’re not sure if you’re interpreting the person’s body language correctly, it’s usually okay to ask the person verbally.\\nHowever, if the person himself isn’t aware what he’s communicating, he might respond by telling you everything’s fine when it really isn’t.\\n1-5. Think about what vocal tone might communicate.\\nMost people naturally modulate their tone of voice to suit the size of the room, i.e., in order to be heard. If you’re in a large room, and the person is speaking loudly, it’s likely that she’s just trying to be heard. However, the same vocal tone in a small space can indicate frustration, anger or fear.\\nIf the person is finding it difficult to talk, it’s possible that she’s upset or close to tears.\\nIf she’s speaking in an arch, overly articulate manner, it’s likely that she’s being sarcastic. Since sarcasm is a form of teasing, this might indicate that she’s angry but trying to pretend not to be.\\n2. Listening with Empathy\\n2-1. Clarify that you understand what another person said.\\nSummarizing or paraphrasing what the other person has said will allow you to share your understanding of his meaning, and offer him a chance to let you know if you’ve understood him correctly. If you’ve not understood what he meant, this practice can help prevent misunderstanding.\\nThis step might feel like it slows down a conversation. That’s okay, because it will also keep feelings from getting hurt through misunderstanding. However, you can also ask someone to repeat what he's said. Saying, “Excuse me?” or “Would you mind repeating that?” are polite ways to ask someone for clarification.\\nRemember that this will be most important to do when you’re talking about sensitive topics.\\n2-2. Give your full attention to the person speaking.\\nYour undivided attention will increase your sensitivity to another person’s feelings. If you’re looking around the room, or distracted by another activity, you’re unlikely to be tuned in to another person’s feelings.\\nIf you’re listening and trying to fix some problem the person has at the same time, then you’re less likely to be able to really hear what the person is trying to say. Trying to help is a kind of judgment. For best results, listen first.\\nSome people can listen more attentively when they’re doing something with their hands, but for other people this might look like inattention. If it is easier for you to listen when your hands are occupied, make sure you let your friend know this.\\n2-3. Listen without judgment.\\nTry to take the speaker’s perspective as she talks, rather than responding from your own point of view. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with what the other person is saying. It just means that while the person is talking, keep an open mind.\\nRefrain from analysis of what the person is saying until after she has finished.\\nThink about who’s talking. If you’re really paying attention to someone as she talks, you’ll also be better able to consider why they’re saying what they are saying. For example, if the person is a mother of a teenager who’s been in trouble, she may be more anxious and judgmental about moral behavior.\\n2-4. Use good manners.\\nBeing pleasant and courteous to other people is a good way to be respectful. Most of us teach children to say “please” and “thank you” to people as a way to show politeness. Remembering the basics of etiquette will help keep you from accidentally hurting someone else’s feelings.\\nGood manners also include careful listening and sensitivity to someone else’s feelings. For example, refraining from interrupting another person while he’s talking, or nodding to show agreement and understanding are ways that polite behavior can show respect for another person.\\nOne of the things that many children are taught is the adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” While this may not always be appropriate advice, a thoughtful restatement of the adage could be, “If you can’t say something nice, consider saving your comment to share later with someone else.”\\n2-5. Acknowledge what the person has said.\\nYou can do this in many different ways. For example, you can repeat the person’s statement, nod to show you’re listening, or offer encouragement for the person by saying, “Yes,” or “I hear you.” All of these affirm to the speaker that you’re engaged in the conversation, and that the person’s feelings are important to you.\\nAcknowledging what the person has said doesn’t mean that you always have to agree with her statements. Even if you strongly disagree, you can respectfully acknowledge the person’s perspective.\\nIt’s important to communicate gently on sensitive topics.\\n2-6. Don’t respond too quickly.\\nIf you’re involved in an emotional conversation, it can be easy to get caught up in your own feelings. This increases the likeliness of saying something that hurts another person’s feelings. Chances are high that you’ll say something you later regret.\\nInstead, when you feel yourself getting heated, take a deep breath before responding. Count to five internally.\\nResearch shows that when your pulse goes above 100 beats per minute, you’re more likely to make poor word choices.\\nIf you feel like you can’t calm down, it’s okay to take a break from the conversation.\\n3. Communicating Kindly\\n3-1. Ask questions.\\nAsking questions is a great way to learn more about the perspective of the other person. Questions will also allow the person to indirectly know that you value his thoughts and feelings. Being open to whatever the person might have to say is a sign of compassionate communication.\\nMake sure your questions are open-ended, allowing the person to choose how to respond. Leading questions, or questions that are attempting to persuade someone else of the correctness of your own point of view, don’t show respect for the other person’s feelings.\\nIf you ask questions that can be answered with yes or no, make sure you allow the person time to provide additional clarification if he chooses.\\n3-2. Choose the best way to express your feelings.\\nIt’s vital that you have a way to express your emotions, but in order to be sensitive to another person’s feelings you may have to take care in how you do this. Sticking to statements that start with “I” will help you say what you’re feeling without appearing to blame another person.\\nFor example, “I’m feeling sad about what you just said, because it reminds me of an experience I had in high school…” will be kinder than “You’re wrong, because when I was in high school, this happened to me.”\\nIf you’re expressing empathy with the other person in the conversation, chances are he’ll be able to respond to your feelings with empathy as well.\\n3-3. Affirm the positive when offering criticism.\\nWhen offering feedback, make sure to offset any negative criticism with an equal or greater affirmation of what you find the person doing well. Be very free to find areas that you feel you can genuinely appreciate, and be sparing (but direct) with any criticism.\\nBeing sensitive to someone’s feelings doesn’t mean pretending to be someone you’re not. However, before you offer your opinion or ideas about another person’s experience, always check and make sure that the person wants your honest opinion.\\nFocusing your feedback on the person’s actions, rather than who she is as a person, may help prevent hurt feelings.\\n3-4. Avoid platitudes and cliches.\\nIf a person is going through a hard time, try not to say things like “Everything happens for a reason,” or “I know exactly how you feel.” Your intentions may be good, but telling someone that his bad experience may be “a blessing in disguise” is insensitive to your friend’s feelings.\\nInstead, acknowledge the person’s feelings. Some variation of “I’m sorry this happened,” is likely to be met with appreciation, as are statements like “What you’re going through sounds really hard.”\\nIt’s okay to let him know that you don’t know what his experience is like. If you’ve been through something similar, acknowledge that what he's going through may be different from your own.\\n3-5. Use body language to communicate respect.\\nYour nonverbal communication may be even more important to another person’s interpretation of your message than your words. While the particulars of body language will vary by culture, in general the following are suggested as a way to communicate respect:\\nMaking frequent eye contact while you speak. This will allow another person to realize that you’re sincerely attempting honest communication. However, eye contact shouldn’t be sustained for long periods of time, or it may be interpreted as aggression.\\nDirect your body towards the other person as you talk.\\nIntermittent, light touches on the person’s outer arm may communicate friendliness and support. More sustained pressure may not be welcome, or may feel either aggressive or flirtatious. It can be a good idea to ask someone if it’s okay before offering even a light touch. Then, respect the person’s response.\\nKeep your arms uncrossed and relaxed.\\nMake sure your facial muscles are relaxed, and smile if this comes easily to you.\\n4. Taking Care of Your Own Feelings\\n4-1. Become aware of your feelings.\\nIf you’re going to be sensitive to other people’s feelings, the best place to start is to become aware of your own. If you’re unaware of how you’re feeling during a heated or sensitive conversation, you’re less likely to be able to respond sensitively to others.\\nLearning to recognize the signs of fear, anger, anxiety, and sadness in yourself will help you more easily empathize with others’ feelings.\\nPay attention to concrete signs of your own feelings. For example, notice if your palms start to get sweaty, or if you start to shake. Does your stomach start to ache as your anxiety increases? Does your breath become shallow?\\n4-2. Learn coping skills.\\nWhen you notice signs of strong emotion, you’ll need to know ways to manage your feelings so that they don’t overwhelm you. Whether you cope with your feelings by taking deep breaths, talking to a therapist or a trusted friend, or a combination of approaches, the most important thing is that you allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings in a healthy way.\\nIt can help to remind yourself that strong feelings aren’t wrong or bad. If you’re feeling guilty for having strong feelings, this will only compound your stress.\\nHaving a regular exercise routine will help you cope with strong emotions as well.\\n4-3. Protect yourself.\\nIf you start to feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break. Your ability to be sensitive to another person’s feelings will diminish if you’re not able to take care of your own feelings.\\nIf there are people or topics that you can’t avoid, make sure to allow yourself time and space to recover afterward.\\nRealizing that sometimes topics are hard for you because you need to pay attention to them might help you put your own feelings in perspective.\\nTake a calming walk, spend time playing with your dog, or just take time to sit by yourself breathing deeply.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Conversations with your friends can sometimes get emotional. Even if your intentions are good, you might be in danger of hurting someone’s feelings. The best way to be sensitive to other people’s feelings is to listen carefully to what they have to say, and to speak kindly. It’s important to learn ways to take care of your own feelings as well.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognizing Social Cues About Emotions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to the person’s face.\", \"描述\": \"The face is the part of the body that is most likely to show emotions. If you’re trying to determine whether someone is sad, upset, lonely or otherwise in pain, start by looking closely at the person’s facial expression.\\nUnlike some social cues, the seven basic facial expressions are said to be universal in expression across all cultures. These expressions are joy, surprise, contempt, anger, disgust, sadness, and fear.\\nFacial expressions change rapidly, and may communicate more than one emotion at a time. For example, the person’s face may show both amusement and fear if something very surprising has happened.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn the signs of sadness.\", \"描述\": \"When someone is sad, you’ll likely be able to see it on his face. It won’t look like a cartoon drawn with an upside-down smile, but the corners of the person’s lips are likely to be slightly drawn down, while the jaw comes up.\\nThe inner corners of the person’s eyebrows will be pulled slightly inward, and up towards the forehead.\\nLook for the skin below the person’s eyebrow to appear slightly triangulated, with inner corner turning up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be aware of signs of fear.\", \"描述\": \"Being sensitive to when someone's afraid can help you alter your own behavior. When someone is afraid, her mouth will likely be held open with her lips slightly stretched and drawn back. Her brows are usually raised and drawn together in a flat line.\\nExamine her forehead, and look for wrinkles in the center between the brows, not across.\\nIf someone's afraid, the upper eyelid will be raised, while the lower lid is tense. The upper white of the eye will be visible, but not the lower.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider body movement and posture.\", \"描述\": \"Signs of someone’s fatigue might include slumping shoulders and loosely held limbs. If a person feels defensive, he may cross his hands, or shake his head. If you’re attentive to these cues, you’ll be more aware of another person’s feelings.\\nIf you’re not sure if you’re interpreting the person’s body language correctly, it’s usually okay to ask the person verbally.\\nHowever, if the person himself isn’t aware what he’s communicating, he might respond by telling you everything’s fine when it really isn’t.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Think about what vocal tone might communicate.\", \"描述\": \"Most people naturally modulate their tone of voice to suit the size of the room, i.e., in order to be heard. If you’re in a large room, and the person is speaking loudly, it’s likely that she’s just trying to be heard. However, the same vocal tone in a small space can indicate frustration, anger or fear.\\nIf the person is finding it difficult to talk, it’s possible that she’s upset or close to tears.\\nIf she’s speaking in an arch, overly articulate manner, it’s likely that she’s being sarcastic. Since sarcasm is a form of teasing, this might indicate that she’s angry but trying to pretend not to be.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listening with Empathy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Clarify that you understand what another person said.\", \"描述\": \"Summarizing or paraphrasing what the other person has said will allow you to share your understanding of his meaning, and offer him a chance to let you know if you’ve understood him correctly. If you’ve not understood what he meant, this practice can help prevent misunderstanding.\\nThis step might feel like it slows down a conversation. That’s okay, because it will also keep feelings from getting hurt through misunderstanding. However, you can also ask someone to repeat what he's said. Saying, “Excuse me?” or “Would you mind repeating that?” are polite ways to ask someone for clarification.\\nRemember that this will be most important to do when you’re talking about sensitive topics.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give your full attention to the person speaking.\", \"描述\": \"Your undivided attention will increase your sensitivity to another person’s feelings. If you’re looking around the room, or distracted by another activity, you’re unlikely to be tuned in to another person’s feelings.\\nIf you’re listening and trying to fix some problem the person has at the same time, then you’re less likely to be able to really hear what the person is trying to say. Trying to help is a kind of judgment. For best results, listen first.\\nSome people can listen more attentively when they’re doing something with their hands, but for other people this might look like inattention. If it is easier for you to listen when your hands are occupied, make sure you let your friend know this.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen without judgment.\", \"描述\": \"Try to take the speaker’s perspective as she talks, rather than responding from your own point of view. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with what the other person is saying. It just means that while the person is talking, keep an open mind.\\nRefrain from analysis of what the person is saying until after she has finished.\\nThink about who’s talking. If you’re really paying attention to someone as she talks, you’ll also be better able to consider why they’re saying what they are saying. For example, if the person is a mother of a teenager who’s been in trouble, she may be more anxious and judgmental about moral behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use good manners.\", \"描述\": \"Being pleasant and courteous to other people is a good way to be respectful. Most of us teach children to say “please” and “thank you” to people as a way to show politeness. Remembering the basics of etiquette will help keep you from accidentally hurting someone else’s feelings.\\nGood manners also include careful listening and sensitivity to someone else’s feelings. For example, refraining from interrupting another person while he’s talking, or nodding to show agreement and understanding are ways that polite behavior can show respect for another person.\\nOne of the things that many children are taught is the adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” While this may not always be appropriate advice, a thoughtful restatement of the adage could be, “If you can’t say something nice, consider saving your comment to share later with someone else.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge what the person has said.\", \"描述\": \"You can do this in many different ways. For example, you can repeat the person’s statement, nod to show you’re listening, or offer encouragement for the person by saying, “Yes,” or “I hear you.” All of these affirm to the speaker that you’re engaged in the conversation, and that the person’s feelings are important to you.\\nAcknowledging what the person has said doesn’t mean that you always have to agree with her statements. Even if you strongly disagree, you can respectfully acknowledge the person’s perspective.\\nIt’s important to communicate gently on sensitive topics.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t respond too quickly.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re involved in an emotional conversation, it can be easy to get caught up in your own feelings. This increases the likeliness of saying something that hurts another person’s feelings. Chances are high that you’ll say something you later regret.\\nInstead, when you feel yourself getting heated, take a deep breath before responding. Count to five internally.\\nResearch shows that when your pulse goes above 100 beats per minute, you’re more likely to make poor word choices.\\nIf you feel like you can’t calm down, it’s okay to take a break from the conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicating Kindly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"Asking questions is a great way to learn more about the perspective of the other person. Questions will also allow the person to indirectly know that you value his thoughts and feelings. Being open to whatever the person might have to say is a sign of compassionate communication.\\nMake sure your questions are open-ended, allowing the person to choose how to respond. Leading questions, or questions that are attempting to persuade someone else of the correctness of your own point of view, don’t show respect for the other person’s feelings.\\nIf you ask questions that can be answered with yes or no, make sure you allow the person time to provide additional clarification if he chooses.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose the best way to express your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"It’s vital that you have a way to express your emotions, but in order to be sensitive to another person’s feelings you may have to take care in how you do this. Sticking to statements that start with “I” will help you say what you’re feeling without appearing to blame another person.\\nFor example, “I’m feeling sad about what you just said, because it reminds me of an experience I had in high school…” will be kinder than “You’re wrong, because when I was in high school, this happened to me.”\\nIf you’re expressing empathy with the other person in the conversation, chances are he’ll be able to respond to your feelings with empathy as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Affirm the positive when offering criticism.\", \"描述\": \"When offering feedback, make sure to offset any negative criticism with an equal or greater affirmation of what you find the person doing well. Be very free to find areas that you feel you can genuinely appreciate, and be sparing (but direct) with any criticism.\\nBeing sensitive to someone’s feelings doesn’t mean pretending to be someone you’re not. However, before you offer your opinion or ideas about another person’s experience, always check and make sure that the person wants your honest opinion.\\nFocusing your feedback on the person’s actions, rather than who she is as a person, may help prevent hurt feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid platitudes and cliches.\", \"描述\": \"If a person is going through a hard time, try not to say things like “Everything happens for a reason,” or “I know exactly how you feel.” Your intentions may be good, but telling someone that his bad experience may be “a blessing in disguise” is insensitive to your friend’s feelings.\\nInstead, acknowledge the person’s feelings. Some variation of “I’m sorry this happened,” is likely to be met with appreciation, as are statements like “What you’re going through sounds really hard.”\\nIt’s okay to let him know that you don’t know what his experience is like. If you’ve been through something similar, acknowledge that what he's going through may be different from your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use body language to communicate respect.\", \"描述\": \"Your nonverbal communication may be even more important to another person’s interpretation of your message than your words. While the particulars of body language will vary by culture, in general the following are suggested as a way to communicate respect:\\nMaking frequent eye contact while you speak. This will allow another person to realize that you’re sincerely attempting honest communication. However, eye contact shouldn’t be sustained for long periods of time, or it may be interpreted as aggression.\\nDirect your body towards the other person as you talk.\\nIntermittent, light touches on the person’s outer arm may communicate friendliness and support. More sustained pressure may not be welcome, or may feel either aggressive or flirtatious. It can be a good idea to ask someone if it’s okay before offering even a light touch. Then, respect the person’s response.\\nKeep your arms uncrossed and relaxed.\\nMake sure your facial muscles are relaxed, and smile if this comes easily to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Your Own Feelings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Become aware of your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re going to be sensitive to other people’s feelings, the best place to start is to become aware of your own. If you’re unaware of how you’re feeling during a heated or sensitive conversation, you’re less likely to be able to respond sensitively to others.\\nLearning to recognize the signs of fear, anger, anxiety, and sadness in yourself will help you more easily empathize with others’ feelings.\\nPay attention to concrete signs of your own feelings. For example, notice if your palms start to get sweaty, or if you start to shake. Does your stomach start to ache as your anxiety increases? Does your breath become shallow?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn coping skills.\", \"描述\": \"When you notice signs of strong emotion, you’ll need to know ways to manage your feelings so that they don’t overwhelm you. Whether you cope with your feelings by taking deep breaths, talking to a therapist or a trusted friend, or a combination of approaches, the most important thing is that you allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings in a healthy way.\\nIt can help to remind yourself that strong feelings aren’t wrong or bad. If you’re feeling guilty for having strong feelings, this will only compound your stress.\\nHaving a regular exercise routine will help you cope with strong emotions as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Protect yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you start to feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break. Your ability to be sensitive to another person’s feelings will diminish if you’re not able to take care of your own feelings.\\nIf there are people or topics that you can’t avoid, make sure to allow yourself time and space to recover afterward.\\nRealizing that sometimes topics are hard for you because you need to pay attention to them might help you put your own feelings in perspective.\\nTake a calming walk, spend time playing with your dog, or just take time to sit by yourself breathing deeply.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,143 | How to Be Sensual | 1. Getting in the Right Mindset
1-1. Don't equate sensuality with sexuality.
While sensuality can enhance sexuality, it can also be non-sexual. Stop thinking about sensuality as having to do only with sex and consider all of the other ways that you can be sensual; standing in the middle of a downpour, dipping strawberries in chocolate, or closing your eyes and listening to your favorite classical music. Once you let go of your preconceptions about what it means to be sensual, you can feel more freed about your own personal exploration.
Being sensual is not all about what happens in the bedroom. However, being sensual in your everyday life and taking the time to enjoy the world around you can make you feel more pleasure in the bedroom for sure.
1-2. Take pleasure in your own body.
No, this doesn't mean what you're thinking -- it just means that, if you want to be a sensual person, that you have to be comfortable in your own skin first and foremost. If you're not happy with who you are or how you look, then it'll be much more difficult for you to let go and let your body enjoy the world around you, whether you're kissing your partner or sunbathing on the beach. Work on building your confidence and self-esteem, and soon, you'll see that you'll be getting more pleasure and joy out of the ordinary things around you.
This doesn't mean you have to look like a supermodel, or even think that you look like a supermodel. It just means that you have to love your body and be open to whatever sensations the world may bring it.
Being comfortable in your own skin isn't something that happens overnight. But you can make a concerted effort to feel happier with who you are by doing the things you love, being around the people who make you feel good, and to work on improving anything you'd like to improve.
1-3. Slow down.
If you really want to be sensual, then you have to stop rushing through your day without stopping to breathe -- or to enjoy the rainbow forming over the clouds. There's a reason people say that you should "Stop and smell the roses." Life can pass us by in a flash, and it's important to take the time to acknowledge the world around you. Leave for work or school fifteen minutes early so you can take it slow and notice the world around you. Take a walk and look around you instead of texting or being on the phone at all times. If your friend gets up to go the bathroom at a bar, look at the interesting patrons around you instead of logging into your Facebook. You'll see what a big difference this makes in your ability to indulge in the world around you.
Part of the reason you may find it hard to slow down is because your days are so packed that you don't have a moment to breathe. See what you can cut down on to free up some time just for enjoying the world around you. If this sounds ridiculous, make slightly more concrete plans; decide to watch the sunset, enjoy a bottle of wine with a friend, or go to an outdoor concert.
1-4. Look for new ways to indulge your senses.
Sensual people are always looking to take a bigger bite out of life. Don't just try to enjoy the same old things you've been doing, but find new ways to use your senses and to experience the world. Go on a long hike and stop and look at the flora and fauna, go wine tasting with your partner, or cook a long and savory breakfast instead of your usual granola bar on the go. Think about something you've always wanted to do, whether it's mountain biking or taking photos of the roses in the beautiful garden in your town, and make a plan to actually accomplish it.
This doesn't mean you should get stressed out by all of the millions of ways to be sensual out there. It does mean that you should always be open to new sensory experiences, though.
1-5. Be present.
If you want to be sensual, then you have to learn to live in the present and to take each day as it comes. Don't spend all day fretting about something that will happen three months from now or regretting something you said a week ago. It's just not worth it and it won't change anything. Instead, enjoy the day you're in, look around you, get some fresh air, and take pleasure in even the ordinary conversations you may be having with your coworkers. Learn to live in the moment and you'll be able to take the time to experience sensory pleasure.
Whether you're taking the bus home or sitting at work, take the time to notice the world around you. What is the weather like? What do you see outside your window? What do you smell? What do you hear? How many details can you write down about the present moment? Getting in the habit of asking yourself these details can help you live in the present.
1-6. Spend more time doing the things that excite you.
Don't feel guilty about doing things that actually make you feel good and happy. This can mean having sex with your partner more often, taking the time to cook a delicious meal even if you're short on time, or playing your favorite record in the morning when you wake up. You're not hurting anybody by spending more time indulging in your favorite pleasures, and you're becoming a more sensual person in the process.
Think about what an average week in your life looks like. Are there things you can cut out, like watching lame TV shows, in favor of doing something you really love, like taking a yoga class or painting in the gardens near your home?
2. Indulging in Your Senses
2-1. Play with your hair.
Spend more time brushing your hair, tossing your hair back, running your fingers through your hair, and just enjoying the feeling of your hair on your head. When you're in the shower, take the time to massage shampoo and conditioner into your scalp and enjoy the feeling of running your fingers through your locks. This will help you indulge in one of the most amazing parts of your body. And if you have a partner, playing with his or her hair will add a sensual touch to your relationship.
2-2. Spend more time in the shower.
That's right. Being in the shower doesn't have to feel like a race to get in and out as fast as humanly possible. Though it's nice to be eco- friendly and to save water, soak in a bath or just spend some time soaping your body and enjoying the sensation of getting clean and feeling the water running over your body. Sing to yourself if you want to. Just spent the time enjoying the sensation of getting clean instead of trying to rush on with your day as fast as you can.
2-3. Use lotion.
Take a nicely scented lotion and massage it into your body. This will help you spend more time with your sensations, both because of your sense of touch and your sense of smell. Your body will also feel softer and you'll enjoy touching and feeling it throughout the day. The lotion doesn't have to have an overwhelming scent; just a touch of juniper or lilac can make you feel happier throughout your day.
2-4. Enjoy nice fabrics.
Wear a nice silk robe. Spend time under your favorite comfy blanket. Get a new pillow that feels heavenly under your head. Wear the jacket that makes you feel like you're wearing a pillow. Take the time to enjoy the sensation of a nice piece of fabric or cloth between your fingers or on your body, and you'll be having a more sensual experience.
2-5. Go to a farmer's market.
Farmer's markets are the perfect place to make use of all of your senses. Go to your local farmer's market and try all of the samples the vendors offer. Feel the weight and the texture of the different fruits and vegetables you have in your hands. Stop and smell the fresh cilantro, parsley, dill, and other herbs you see. Take the time to enjoy a pleasant conversation with the people selling the produce and bring home at least some fresh fruit and a bouquet of flowers. You don't have to be a master chef to enjoy this sensory -- and sensual -- experience.
2-6. Enjoy a delicious home cooked meal.
Cooking a simple meal at home can awaken your senses and make you feel much more sensual about the process of making food and eating it. You don't have to be Julia Child to bake some chicken in the oven, make a delicious salad of beets and feta cheese, and grill some delicious polenta to go with it. Taking the time to cook the food, especially if you're with a friend and enjoying some wine in the process, can take the sensory experience of eating to a whole new level.
2-7. Go wine tasting.
Plan a wine tasting trip with your loved one or a group of friends. Not only is tasting a variety of wines a perfect sensory awakening, but wine country is almost always beautiful, whether you're in Napa Valley or the Rhone Valley, and you will awaken your sense of taste, smell, and sight as you embark on this gorgeous adventure.
2-8. Listen to your favorite music.
Whether you love Queen or Lily Allen, there's nothing wrong with blasting your favorite music whenever you feel like it (as long as you're not driving people crazy in the process). Wake up to your favorite songs, listen to them when you're driving, or throw a private dance party when you're making dinner by yourself. You can also hit up the clubs with some friends or go to a concert. Music awakens your senses and makes your mind and body come alive.
2-9. Indulge in nature.
Whether this means going on a hike, walking through a redwood forest, or just lying on the beach, hearing the sounds of the waves crashing on the shores, take the time to make nature a big part of your life and you won't regret it. The more time you spent outside in the sunshine, breathing the fresh air and enjoying the natural world, the more sensual you will feel. Being around nature also helps you learn to live in the present and to appreciate what you have, which are key parts of being sensual as well.
2-10. Go to an art museum.
Whether you like modern art or are more into Renaissance paintings, go to a museum of your choice and enjoy the contemplative silence that fills each room, as you and the other patrons enjoy the beautiful work around you. Stand before a painting without judgment, not trying to analyze it or even read about it, but just thinking about how it makes you feel. Spend at least two hours there without your cell phone or without saying a word, and see how much you awaken your sense of sight.
3. Being More Sensual with Your Partner
3-1. Hold hands more.
Being sensual with your partner isn't all about taking your clothes off. In fact, holding hands with your partner, caressing his fingers, and feeling the weight of his hand in yours can be some of the most sensual experiences you may have. Take the time to hold hands with your partner more, whether you're taking a moonlit walk, sitting at dinner, or watching television. You'll be surprised by how much this can deepen your connection.
3-2. Linger when you kiss.
Don't just see your kisses as a means to something more or as a perfunctory way to greet your partner. Instead, take the time to really enjoy kissing your partner just because, with no strings attached. Kiss your partner for at least six seconds every day, and spend time just sitting around and kissing; this can lead to an amazing sensation, no matter how long you've been together.
3-3. Give each other a sensual massage.
Massages are definitely some of the most sensual experiences out there, and you can definitely take your relationship to a new sensual level if you and your partner give each other massages. You can take turns, or just focus on your partner (or do the reverse) for a night and see how good it feels to either have your back, shoulders, arms, and body get massaged after a long day or to give your partner the same pleasure. You can even take it to the next level by rubbing lotion on each other's bodies in the process.
3-4. Snuggle and cuddle more.
Though you may not think snuggling and cuddling is anything but cutesy, they are actually part of an important sensory experience. Taking the time to sidle up to your partner and to feel your bodies fall in sync can be a very sensual experience, whether it leads to something more or not. Make the time to snuggle more with your partner, whether you're in bed together or just watching television. Connecting your bodies in this way can lead to a more sensual relationship.
3-5. Write love letters.
Who says that love letters are dated? Try writing your loved one a love letter just because you feel like telling him or her how amazing he or she is. You don't have to write one because of a birthday, anniversary, or Valentine's Day, and the thought will count even more if you send or give your special someone a love letter on a random Tuesday. You can leave the sweet message around for your partner to find, and soon you'll see that you've taken your relationship to new sensual level.
3-6. Make more eye contact.
Take the time to really look at your significant other when he or she walks in the room, when you're talking, or even when you're just passing each other. There's something very sensual about locking eyes with the person that you love, and you should make a habit of doing it more often, even if you're just having an ordinary conversation. Making more eye contact with your partner will deepen your connection and will make your relationship much more sensual.
3-7. Tickle each other.
That's right. You are never too old to tickle someone, and tickling your partner, or getting into a tickle fight, can lead to more sensory pleasure. Even if you're just laughing and goofing off, you'll also be experiencing more sensory sensations, and will indulge in feeling the light-as-a-feather touch on your toes, neck, or sides. Tickling feet can also be a very sensual activity, especially if you're using a feather.
3-8. Spend more time in the bedroom.
This doesn't mean that you should just make love for longer, but that you should be more thoughtful and present when you're making that physical connection with your partner, whether you're kissing or doing more. Devote more of your relationship to keeping your love connection going fiery and strong, not just because you think you have to make love or hook up a certain amount of times a week. If you're more mindful about making that connection, you will awaken your sensuality.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting in the Right Mindset\\n1-1. Don't equate sensuality with sexuality.\\nWhile sensuality can enhance sexuality, it can also be non-sexual. Stop thinking about sensuality as having to do only with sex and consider all of the other ways that you can be sensual; standing in the middle of a downpour, dipping strawberries in chocolate, or closing your eyes and listening to your favorite classical music. Once you let go of your preconceptions about what it means to be sensual, you can feel more freed about your own personal exploration.\\nBeing sensual is not all about what happens in the bedroom. However, being sensual in your everyday life and taking the time to enjoy the world around you can make you feel more pleasure in the bedroom for sure.\\n1-2. Take pleasure in your own body.\\nNo, this doesn't mean what you're thinking -- it just means that, if you want to be a sensual person, that you have to be comfortable in your own skin first and foremost. If you're not happy with who you are or how you look, then it'll be much more difficult for you to let go and let your body enjoy the world around you, whether you're kissing your partner or sunbathing on the beach. Work on building your confidence and self-esteem, and soon, you'll see that you'll be getting more pleasure and joy out of the ordinary things around you.\\nThis doesn't mean you have to look like a supermodel, or even think that you look like a supermodel. It just means that you have to love your body and be open to whatever sensations the world may bring it.\\nBeing comfortable in your own skin isn't something that happens overnight. But you can make a concerted effort to feel happier with who you are by doing the things you love, being around the people who make you feel good, and to work on improving anything you'd like to improve.\\n1-3. Slow down.\\nIf you really want to be sensual, then you have to stop rushing through your day without stopping to breathe -- or to enjoy the rainbow forming over the clouds. There's a reason people say that you should \\\"Stop and smell the roses.\\\" Life can pass us by in a flash, and it's important to take the time to acknowledge the world around you. Leave for work or school fifteen minutes early so you can take it slow and notice the world around you. Take a walk and look around you instead of texting or being on the phone at all times. If your friend gets up to go the bathroom at a bar, look at the interesting patrons around you instead of logging into your Facebook. You'll see what a big difference this makes in your ability to indulge in the world around you.\\nPart of the reason you may find it hard to slow down is because your days are so packed that you don't have a moment to breathe. See what you can cut down on to free up some time just for enjoying the world around you. If this sounds ridiculous, make slightly more concrete plans; decide to watch the sunset, enjoy a bottle of wine with a friend, or go to an outdoor concert.\\n1-4. Look for new ways to indulge your senses.\\nSensual people are always looking to take a bigger bite out of life. Don't just try to enjoy the same old things you've been doing, but find new ways to use your senses and to experience the world. Go on a long hike and stop and look at the flora and fauna, go wine tasting with your partner, or cook a long and savory breakfast instead of your usual granola bar on the go. Think about something you've always wanted to do, whether it's mountain biking or taking photos of the roses in the beautiful garden in your town, and make a plan to actually accomplish it.\\nThis doesn't mean you should get stressed out by all of the millions of ways to be sensual out there. It does mean that you should always be open to new sensory experiences, though.\\n1-5. Be present.\\nIf you want to be sensual, then you have to learn to live in the present and to take each day as it comes. Don't spend all day fretting about something that will happen three months from now or regretting something you said a week ago. It's just not worth it and it won't change anything. Instead, enjoy the day you're in, look around you, get some fresh air, and take pleasure in even the ordinary conversations you may be having with your coworkers. Learn to live in the moment and you'll be able to take the time to experience sensory pleasure.\\nWhether you're taking the bus home or sitting at work, take the time to notice the world around you. What is the weather like? What do you see outside your window? What do you smell? What do you hear? How many details can you write down about the present moment? Getting in the habit of asking yourself these details can help you live in the present.\\n1-6. Spend more time doing the things that excite you.\\nDon't feel guilty about doing things that actually make you feel good and happy. This can mean having sex with your partner more often, taking the time to cook a delicious meal even if you're short on time, or playing your favorite record in the morning when you wake up. You're not hurting anybody by spending more time indulging in your favorite pleasures, and you're becoming a more sensual person in the process.\\nThink about what an average week in your life looks like. Are there things you can cut out, like watching lame TV shows, in favor of doing something you really love, like taking a yoga class or painting in the gardens near your home?\\n2. Indulging in Your Senses\\n2-1. Play with your hair.\\nSpend more time brushing your hair, tossing your hair back, running your fingers through your hair, and just enjoying the feeling of your hair on your head. When you're in the shower, take the time to massage shampoo and conditioner into your scalp and enjoy the feeling of running your fingers through your locks. This will help you indulge in one of the most amazing parts of your body. And if you have a partner, playing with his or her hair will add a sensual touch to your relationship.\\n2-2. Spend more time in the shower.\\nThat's right. Being in the shower doesn't have to feel like a race to get in and out as fast as humanly possible. Though it's nice to be eco- friendly and to save water, soak in a bath or just spend some time soaping your body and enjoying the sensation of getting clean and feeling the water running over your body. Sing to yourself if you want to. Just spent the time enjoying the sensation of getting clean instead of trying to rush on with your day as fast as you can.\\n2-3. Use lotion.\\nTake a nicely scented lotion and massage it into your body. This will help you spend more time with your sensations, both because of your sense of touch and your sense of smell. Your body will also feel softer and you'll enjoy touching and feeling it throughout the day. The lotion doesn't have to have an overwhelming scent; just a touch of juniper or lilac can make you feel happier throughout your day.\\n2-4. Enjoy nice fabrics.\\nWear a nice silk robe. Spend time under your favorite comfy blanket. Get a new pillow that feels heavenly under your head. Wear the jacket that makes you feel like you're wearing a pillow. Take the time to enjoy the sensation of a nice piece of fabric or cloth between your fingers or on your body, and you'll be having a more sensual experience.\\n2-5. Go to a farmer's market.\\nFarmer's markets are the perfect place to make use of all of your senses. Go to your local farmer's market and try all of the samples the vendors offer. Feel the weight and the texture of the different fruits and vegetables you have in your hands. Stop and smell the fresh cilantro, parsley, dill, and other herbs you see. Take the time to enjoy a pleasant conversation with the people selling the produce and bring home at least some fresh fruit and a bouquet of flowers. You don't have to be a master chef to enjoy this sensory -- and sensual -- experience.\\n2-6. Enjoy a delicious home cooked meal.\\nCooking a simple meal at home can awaken your senses and make you feel much more sensual about the process of making food and eating it. You don't have to be Julia Child to bake some chicken in the oven, make a delicious salad of beets and feta cheese, and grill some delicious polenta to go with it. Taking the time to cook the food, especially if you're with a friend and enjoying some wine in the process, can take the sensory experience of eating to a whole new level.\\n2-7. Go wine tasting.\\nPlan a wine tasting trip with your loved one or a group of friends. Not only is tasting a variety of wines a perfect sensory awakening, but wine country is almost always beautiful, whether you're in Napa Valley or the Rhone Valley, and you will awaken your sense of taste, smell, and sight as you embark on this gorgeous adventure.\\n2-8. Listen to your favorite music.\\nWhether you love Queen or Lily Allen, there's nothing wrong with blasting your favorite music whenever you feel like it (as long as you're not driving people crazy in the process). Wake up to your favorite songs, listen to them when you're driving, or throw a private dance party when you're making dinner by yourself. You can also hit up the clubs with some friends or go to a concert. Music awakens your senses and makes your mind and body come alive.\\n2-9. Indulge in nature.\\nWhether this means going on a hike, walking through a redwood forest, or just lying on the beach, hearing the sounds of the waves crashing on the shores, take the time to make nature a big part of your life and you won't regret it. The more time you spent outside in the sunshine, breathing the fresh air and enjoying the natural world, the more sensual you will feel. Being around nature also helps you learn to live in the present and to appreciate what you have, which are key parts of being sensual as well.\\n2-10. Go to an art museum.\\nWhether you like modern art or are more into Renaissance paintings, go to a museum of your choice and enjoy the contemplative silence that fills each room, as you and the other patrons enjoy the beautiful work around you. Stand before a painting without judgment, not trying to analyze it or even read about it, but just thinking about how it makes you feel. Spend at least two hours there without your cell phone or without saying a word, and see how much you awaken your sense of sight.\\n3. Being More Sensual with Your Partner\\n3-1. Hold hands more.\\nBeing sensual with your partner isn't all about taking your clothes off. In fact, holding hands with your partner, caressing his fingers, and feeling the weight of his hand in yours can be some of the most sensual experiences you may have. Take the time to hold hands with your partner more, whether you're taking a moonlit walk, sitting at dinner, or watching television. You'll be surprised by how much this can deepen your connection.\\n3-2. Linger when you kiss.\\nDon't just see your kisses as a means to something more or as a perfunctory way to greet your partner. Instead, take the time to really enjoy kissing your partner just because, with no strings attached. Kiss your partner for at least six seconds every day, and spend time just sitting around and kissing; this can lead to an amazing sensation, no matter how long you've been together.\\n3-3. Give each other a sensual massage.\\nMassages are definitely some of the most sensual experiences out there, and you can definitely take your relationship to a new sensual level if you and your partner give each other massages. You can take turns, or just focus on your partner (or do the reverse) for a night and see how good it feels to either have your back, shoulders, arms, and body get massaged after a long day or to give your partner the same pleasure. You can even take it to the next level by rubbing lotion on each other's bodies in the process.\\n3-4. Snuggle and cuddle more.\\nThough you may not think snuggling and cuddling is anything but cutesy, they are actually part of an important sensory experience. Taking the time to sidle up to your partner and to feel your bodies fall in sync can be a very sensual experience, whether it leads to something more or not. Make the time to snuggle more with your partner, whether you're in bed together or just watching television. Connecting your bodies in this way can lead to a more sensual relationship.\\n3-5. Write love letters.\\nWho says that love letters are dated? Try writing your loved one a love letter just because you feel like telling him or her how amazing he or she is. You don't have to write one because of a birthday, anniversary, or Valentine's Day, and the thought will count even more if you send or give your special someone a love letter on a random Tuesday. You can leave the sweet message around for your partner to find, and soon you'll see that you've taken your relationship to new sensual level.\\n3-6. Make more eye contact.\\nTake the time to really look at your significant other when he or she walks in the room, when you're talking, or even when you're just passing each other. There's something very sensual about locking eyes with the person that you love, and you should make a habit of doing it more often, even if you're just having an ordinary conversation. Making more eye contact with your partner will deepen your connection and will make your relationship much more sensual.\\n3-7. Tickle each other.\\nThat's right. You are never too old to tickle someone, and tickling your partner, or getting into a tickle fight, can lead to more sensory pleasure. Even if you're just laughing and goofing off, you'll also be experiencing more sensory sensations, and will indulge in feeling the light-as-a-feather touch on your toes, neck, or sides. Tickling feet can also be a very sensual activity, especially if you're using a feather.\\n3-8. Spend more time in the bedroom.\\nThis doesn't mean that you should just make love for longer, but that you should be more thoughtful and present when you're making that physical connection with your partner, whether you're kissing or doing more. Devote more of your relationship to keeping your love connection going fiery and strong, not just because you think you have to make love or hook up a certain amount of times a week. If you're more mindful about making that connection, you will awaken your sensuality.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being sensual means getting pleasure from the physical world, and taking the time to indulge in the senses. Though people think that being sensual has a sexual connotation, it doesn't have to be that way; taking the time to enjoy a fresh croissant filled with butter in the middle of a busy morning can be just as sensual as giving your partner a massage after work. The important thing is to slow down and enjoy the physical sensations around you instead of rushing about your day. If you want to know how to be more sensual, see Step 1 to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting in the Right Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't equate sensuality with sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"While sensuality can enhance sexuality, it can also be non-sexual. Stop thinking about sensuality as having to do only with sex and consider all of the other ways that you can be sensual; standing in the middle of a downpour, dipping strawberries in chocolate, or closing your eyes and listening to your favorite classical music. Once you let go of your preconceptions about what it means to be sensual, you can feel more freed about your own personal exploration.\\nBeing sensual is not all about what happens in the bedroom. However, being sensual in your everyday life and taking the time to enjoy the world around you can make you feel more pleasure in the bedroom for sure.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take pleasure in your own body.\", \"描述\": \"No, this doesn't mean what you're thinking -- it just means that, if you want to be a sensual person, that you have to be comfortable in your own skin first and foremost. If you're not happy with who you are or how you look, then it'll be much more difficult for you to let go and let your body enjoy the world around you, whether you're kissing your partner or sunbathing on the beach. Work on building your confidence and self-esteem, and soon, you'll see that you'll be getting more pleasure and joy out of the ordinary things around you.\\nThis doesn't mean you have to look like a supermodel, or even think that you look like a supermodel. It just means that you have to love your body and be open to whatever sensations the world may bring it.\\nBeing comfortable in your own skin isn't something that happens overnight. But you can make a concerted effort to feel happier with who you are by doing the things you love, being around the people who make you feel good, and to work on improving anything you'd like to improve.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Slow down.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be sensual, then you have to stop rushing through your day without stopping to breathe -- or to enjoy the rainbow forming over the clouds. There's a reason people say that you should \\\"Stop and smell the roses.\\\" Life can pass us by in a flash, and it's important to take the time to acknowledge the world around you. Leave for work or school fifteen minutes early so you can take it slow and notice the world around you. Take a walk and look around you instead of texting or being on the phone at all times. If your friend gets up to go the bathroom at a bar, look at the interesting patrons around you instead of logging into your Facebook. You'll see what a big difference this makes in your ability to indulge in the world around you.\\nPart of the reason you may find it hard to slow down is because your days are so packed that you don't have a moment to breathe. See what you can cut down on to free up some time just for enjoying the world around you. If this sounds ridiculous, make slightly more concrete plans; decide to watch the sunset, enjoy a bottle of wine with a friend, or go to an outdoor concert.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look for new ways to indulge your senses.\", \"描述\": \"Sensual people are always looking to take a bigger bite out of life. Don't just try to enjoy the same old things you've been doing, but find new ways to use your senses and to experience the world. Go on a long hike and stop and look at the flora and fauna, go wine tasting with your partner, or cook a long and savory breakfast instead of your usual granola bar on the go. Think about something you've always wanted to do, whether it's mountain biking or taking photos of the roses in the beautiful garden in your town, and make a plan to actually accomplish it.\\nThis doesn't mean you should get stressed out by all of the millions of ways to be sensual out there. It does mean that you should always be open to new sensory experiences, though.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be present.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be sensual, then you have to learn to live in the present and to take each day as it comes. Don't spend all day fretting about something that will happen three months from now or regretting something you said a week ago. It's just not worth it and it won't change anything. Instead, enjoy the day you're in, look around you, get some fresh air, and take pleasure in even the ordinary conversations you may be having with your coworkers. Learn to live in the moment and you'll be able to take the time to experience sensory pleasure.\\nWhether you're taking the bus home or sitting at work, take the time to notice the world around you. What is the weather like? What do you see outside your window? What do you smell? What do you hear? How many details can you write down about the present moment? Getting in the habit of asking yourself these details can help you live in the present.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Spend more time doing the things that excite you.\", \"描述\": \"Don't feel guilty about doing things that actually make you feel good and happy. This can mean having sex with your partner more often, taking the time to cook a delicious meal even if you're short on time, or playing your favorite record in the morning when you wake up. You're not hurting anybody by spending more time indulging in your favorite pleasures, and you're becoming a more sensual person in the process.\\nThink about what an average week in your life looks like. Are there things you can cut out, like watching lame TV shows, in favor of doing something you really love, like taking a yoga class or painting in the gardens near your home?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Indulging in Your Senses\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play with your hair.\", \"描述\": \"Spend more time brushing your hair, tossing your hair back, running your fingers through your hair, and just enjoying the feeling of your hair on your head. When you're in the shower, take the time to massage shampoo and conditioner into your scalp and enjoy the feeling of running your fingers through your locks. This will help you indulge in one of the most amazing parts of your body. And if you have a partner, playing with his or her hair will add a sensual touch to your relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend more time in the shower.\", \"描述\": \"That's right. Being in the shower doesn't have to feel like a race to get in and out as fast as humanly possible. Though it's nice to be eco- friendly and to save water, soak in a bath or just spend some time soaping your body and enjoying the sensation of getting clean and feeling the water running over your body. Sing to yourself if you want to. Just spent the time enjoying the sensation of getting clean instead of trying to rush on with your day as fast as you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use lotion.\", \"描述\": \"Take a nicely scented lotion and massage it into your body. This will help you spend more time with your sensations, both because of your sense of touch and your sense of smell. Your body will also feel softer and you'll enjoy touching and feeling it throughout the day. The lotion doesn't have to have an overwhelming scent; just a touch of juniper or lilac can make you feel happier throughout your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enjoy nice fabrics.\", \"描述\": \"Wear a nice silk robe. Spend time under your favorite comfy blanket. Get a new pillow that feels heavenly under your head. Wear the jacket that makes you feel like you're wearing a pillow. Take the time to enjoy the sensation of a nice piece of fabric or cloth between your fingers or on your body, and you'll be having a more sensual experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go to a farmer's market.\", \"描述\": \"Farmer's markets are the perfect place to make use of all of your senses. Go to your local farmer's market and try all of the samples the vendors offer. Feel the weight and the texture of the different fruits and vegetables you have in your hands. Stop and smell the fresh cilantro, parsley, dill, and other herbs you see. Take the time to enjoy a pleasant conversation with the people selling the produce and bring home at least some fresh fruit and a bouquet of flowers. You don't have to be a master chef to enjoy this sensory -- and sensual -- experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Enjoy a delicious home cooked meal.\", \"描述\": \"Cooking a simple meal at home can awaken your senses and make you feel much more sensual about the process of making food and eating it. You don't have to be Julia Child to bake some chicken in the oven, make a delicious salad of beets and feta cheese, and grill some delicious polenta to go with it. Taking the time to cook the food, especially if you're with a friend and enjoying some wine in the process, can take the sensory experience of eating to a whole new level.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Go wine tasting.\", \"描述\": \"Plan a wine tasting trip with your loved one or a group of friends. Not only is tasting a variety of wines a perfect sensory awakening, but wine country is almost always beautiful, whether you're in Napa Valley or the Rhone Valley, and you will awaken your sense of taste, smell, and sight as you embark on this gorgeous adventure.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Listen to your favorite music.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you love Queen or Lily Allen, there's nothing wrong with blasting your favorite music whenever you feel like it (as long as you're not driving people crazy in the process). Wake up to your favorite songs, listen to them when you're driving, or throw a private dance party when you're making dinner by yourself. You can also hit up the clubs with some friends or go to a concert. Music awakens your senses and makes your mind and body come alive.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Indulge in nature.\", \"描述\": \"Whether this means going on a hike, walking through a redwood forest, or just lying on the beach, hearing the sounds of the waves crashing on the shores, take the time to make nature a big part of your life and you won't regret it. The more time you spent outside in the sunshine, breathing the fresh air and enjoying the natural world, the more sensual you will feel. Being around nature also helps you learn to live in the present and to appreciate what you have, which are key parts of being sensual as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Go to an art museum.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you like modern art or are more into Renaissance paintings, go to a museum of your choice and enjoy the contemplative silence that fills each room, as you and the other patrons enjoy the beautiful work around you. Stand before a painting without judgment, not trying to analyze it or even read about it, but just thinking about how it makes you feel. Spend at least two hours there without your cell phone or without saying a word, and see how much you awaken your sense of sight.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being More Sensual with Your Partner\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hold hands more.\", \"描述\": \"Being sensual with your partner isn't all about taking your clothes off. In fact, holding hands with your partner, caressing his fingers, and feeling the weight of his hand in yours can be some of the most sensual experiences you may have. Take the time to hold hands with your partner more, whether you're taking a moonlit walk, sitting at dinner, or watching television. You'll be surprised by how much this can deepen your connection.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Linger when you kiss.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just see your kisses as a means to something more or as a perfunctory way to greet your partner. Instead, take the time to really enjoy kissing your partner just because, with no strings attached. Kiss your partner for at least six seconds every day, and spend time just sitting around and kissing; this can lead to an amazing sensation, no matter how long you've been together.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give each other a sensual massage.\", \"描述\": \"Massages are definitely some of the most sensual experiences out there, and you can definitely take your relationship to a new sensual level if you and your partner give each other massages. You can take turns, or just focus on your partner (or do the reverse) for a night and see how good it feels to either have your back, shoulders, arms, and body get massaged after a long day or to give your partner the same pleasure. You can even take it to the next level by rubbing lotion on each other's bodies in the process.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Snuggle and cuddle more.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may not think snuggling and cuddling is anything but cutesy, they are actually part of an important sensory experience. Taking the time to sidle up to your partner and to feel your bodies fall in sync can be a very sensual experience, whether it leads to something more or not. Make the time to snuggle more with your partner, whether you're in bed together or just watching television. Connecting your bodies in this way can lead to a more sensual relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write love letters.\", \"描述\": \"Who says that love letters are dated? Try writing your loved one a love letter just because you feel like telling him or her how amazing he or she is. You don't have to write one because of a birthday, anniversary, or Valentine's Day, and the thought will count even more if you send or give your special someone a love letter on a random Tuesday. You can leave the sweet message around for your partner to find, and soon you'll see that you've taken your relationship to new sensual level.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make more eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Take the time to really look at your significant other when he or she walks in the room, when you're talking, or even when you're just passing each other. There's something very sensual about locking eyes with the person that you love, and you should make a habit of doing it more often, even if you're just having an ordinary conversation. Making more eye contact with your partner will deepen your connection and will make your relationship much more sensual.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tickle each other.\", \"描述\": \"That's right. You are never too old to tickle someone, and tickling your partner, or getting into a tickle fight, can lead to more sensory pleasure. Even if you're just laughing and goofing off, you'll also be experiencing more sensory sensations, and will indulge in feeling the light-as-a-feather touch on your toes, neck, or sides. Tickling feet can also be a very sensual activity, especially if you're using a feather.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Spend more time in the bedroom.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean that you should just make love for longer, but that you should be more thoughtful and present when you're making that physical connection with your partner, whether you're kissing or doing more. Devote more of your relationship to keeping your love connection going fiery and strong, not just because you think you have to make love or hook up a certain amount of times a week. If you're more mindful about making that connection, you will awaken your sensuality.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,144 | How to Be Serious | 1. Staying Focused
1-1. Train your brain.
If you have trouble staying focused, it can help to think of your brain as a muscle, and just like the rest of your muscles, it needs to be exercised to be effective at its job.
Set aside a time of day to practice focusing on a single task.
Start small-just take a few minutes at first each day to really make yourself fully focus on single task. If and when you find your mind wandering, immediately return to the task at hand.
If you realize you've drifted off task, that's half the battle!
Remove distractions and focus more by practicing mindfulness and presence. Since we can notice all sorts of distractions in our daily lives, make a list of the most common distractions we experience and make a real or mental note to remove them from our environment.
1-2. Realize that everything you do has a result.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you choose to do does have consequences-often in ways you can't foresee or possibly know of. Being serious involves recognizing what most needs your attention, and focusing on it.
Always avoid procrastination. Not only does procrastinating cause stress and contribute to depression and anxiety, it can be a major factor in reducing overall productivity and leading to unintended consequences.
Example: I need to trim a dead tree branch hanging over my house. Instead I decide I'll do it later and play a video game now. Later that day, my friend calls, and desperately needs a ride from the airport. The branch doesn't get trimmed. That night there's a huge windstorm. The branch falls and punches a hole in my roof. Now, instead of simply trimming a tree branch, I have to get my roof fixed, too! Take care of what needs attention first-you may regret it if you don't.
1-3. Reduce the need to multitask.
Multitasking makes us feel like we're being productive, but in reality too much multitasking can cause distraction and lessen our effectiveness. Take each task individually, get it done, and move on to the next.
1-4. Tackle your most difficult tasks first.
Getting the most difficult or least pleasant tasks out of the way first will give you a huge boost and reduce the possibility of procrastination. After getting the biggest obstacle out of the way, the other items on your list will seem like a breeze.
2. Prioritizing Tasks
2-1. Make a list.
Make a list the night before of the day's tasks in order of urgency and importance.
If you have a smartphone, then you have a powerful organizational tool at your fingertips! There are many useful apps for creating a concise and helpful to do list. Using an app can also help you keep your lists organized, rather than creating a sea of paper.
Remember, put the most difficult tasks at the top of your list.
2-2. Get up in the morning and make your bed.
Starting the day with a positive accomplishment, however small, gets the ball of accomplishment for the rest of the day rolling. Then look at your prioritized list. Take each item one at a time, and let each task completed be a segue into the next. After each task is accomplished, the next words out of an effective and serious person's mouth are, "what's next?". Let that be your mantra. Always ask yourself, "what's next?".
2-3. Allow yourself a short break from time to time.
But don't get sidetracked! Specify what your break will entail. Think, "I'll finish this episode of my favorite show while I eat this banana, then back to the task at hand." Stick to it-once you let yourself slide off the schedule, it's a slippery slope to accomplishing nothing at all.
2-4. Use your time wisely.
Recognize that time is finite, and think of it as a resource. Be aware of the time you spend on a task. Don't become so swept up in mundane details that you waste time on things that don't matter. Ask yourself, "how is the time I'm spending on this advancing me toward my goal? Be able to put things aside that are holding you back from accomplishing what you set out to accomplish, or, if the way you've chosen to go about a task isn't working, try something else. Be flexible; be malleable. Be able to bend without breaking.
2-5. Know how far you can go.
Knowing your limits isn't limiting, but freeing! Accepting that you have accomplished tasks to the best of your abilities is hugely rewarding. Remember, completing any task gives you a boost to accomplish more. Take simple steps, and continue to do so, and over time you will accomplish a great deal.
2-6. Understand the rules of the game.
Some rules can be changed and others cannot. Having the grace to change what you can and accept what you cannot is huge in being a more serious person. To fret over mundane details of life you wish could be different, but know deep down cannot, is to limit yourself. When you come upon an immovable obstacle, go around it, and proceed on your course.
3. Maintaining a Mature and Professional Demeanor
3-1. Look ahead, not back.
As we grow older, we tend to want to hang on to youthful behaviors. Everyone goes through periods of conflict between the desire to be carefree and just have fun, and being mature and responsible. Let’s face it-often being mature and serious is the less immediately pleasant way of living life. However, being more serious in life involves realizing that the long term benefits of being responsible and taking care of business outweigh hedonistic pleasures.
Wake everyday with the intention of being mature.
Be aware each morning that some of the decisions ahead in your day will involve foregoing fun in favor of accomplishment.
3-2. Consider your social stature.
If you want to be serious, be aware of how your everyday behavior reflects that. You are how you act, so making the effort to be serious and mature in your actions throughout the day, even the small things, is important to truly being serious.
3-3. Be in control of your emotions.
One of the most important part of being mature is having the ability to control your emotions, rather than them controlling you.
Consider your feelings carefully before acting on them. Act, don’t react. When you behave with maturity, you’re using the rational and reasoning side of yourself rather than the animalistic, instinctual side.
When someone speaks to you, especially in moments of conflict, pause and consider your reply with a cool head before responding. What first pops into your head isn’t always the best thing to say. Think before you speak.
Apply that to actions especially. Actions speak louder than words, so be especially aware of how your actions reflect on your level of maturity. Do you act only after cooly thinking out your course, or do you react without consider the consequences?
3-4. Love yourself.
Part of being mature is recognizing that you have worth. It’s often easier to beat oneself up over mistakes than to learn from them. If you want to be more mature and live a more serious life, make the effort to respect yourself and value yourself.
Treat your body with respect. Eat well, and get plenty of exercise and sleep.
Keep friends who value you, get rid of people who don’t. Friends will respect you and understand that you are special for being you. Everyone crosses paths with people who do not do those things. You have no obligation to keep them around. Part of maturity is making the tough decisions about who we associate with.
4. Taking Pride in Yourself and your Appearance
4-1. Be self aware (as opposed to self conscious).
Being self aware doesn't mean you are being shy or embarrassed, aspects we usually associate with self-consciousness, but that you have the capacity to reflect on yourself, both inwardly and outwardly.
4-2. Practice good hygiene.
Taking pride in oneself enough to practice good hygiene is important in being a serious and meaningful person. It is also healthier and will simply help you feel good!
Keep your hair and fingernails trimmed.
Brush your teeth at least twice daily. Practicing good oral hygiene not only shows others that you are a serious and put together person, but it also helps protect against bacterial infection and is beneficial for your health overall.
4-3. Wear clothes that you like, neatly.
Wear clothes that you want to wear, and that are neat, is important in showing that you are a serious person. It doesn't have to mean that you are vain or overly self-conscious, but simply that you care enough about your own well being to take care of yourself.
5. Remembering the Golden Rule
5-1. Be helpful to other human beings.
It is so easy in today's world to become focused on "me" that we often forget that one of the most rewarding and productive things we can do is to focus on the well-being of others.
When you are helpful to others, even in small, everyday ways, you will find that your overall sense of your own well being will greatly increase and your confidence in the tasks and goals you have before you will be much greater.
Greater confidence in yourself and your own abilities results in much higher personal productivity, and, in turn, will help you to become a more serious person.
5-2. Volunteer.
Get involved in local volunteer opportunities. In 2013 alone, over 62 million Americans engaged in some form of volunteer work.
Do you have a soft spot for kids? For old folks? For animals? Maybe you'd like to help maintain trails at a local park, or feed the homeless in a soup kitchen. Volunteer opportunities abound everywhere, especially in urban centers.
Even a couple hours a week, or even a month, can help give you a sense of focus and purpose in your life. Volunteering not only makes you feel good about yourself, it connects you with others, increases your social skills, combats depression, and helps keep you healthy.
5-3. Practice the golden rule.
When you do to others as you would have done to yourself, you create a loop of goodwill. This isn't just for morality's sake; the more you show goodwill to others, the more likely they will be to contribute to your own advancement.
Tips
Take the time to step back and look at what you've achieved. Remember, having a sense of pride about accomplishing will help motivate you to accomplish even more!
You live in an environment, so make it incredible. Surround yourself with you. Take the time to clean, to furnish your dwelling and work space and make it your own. When you are in control of your environment, you are in control of yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Staying Focused\\n1-1. Train your brain.\\nIf you have trouble staying focused, it can help to think of your brain as a muscle, and just like the rest of your muscles, it needs to be exercised to be effective at its job.\\nSet aside a time of day to practice focusing on a single task.\\nStart small-just take a few minutes at first each day to really make yourself fully focus on single task. If and when you find your mind wandering, immediately return to the task at hand.\\nIf you realize you've drifted off task, that's half the battle!\\nRemove distractions and focus more by practicing mindfulness and presence. Since we can notice all sorts of distractions in our daily lives, make a list of the most common distractions we experience and make a real or mental note to remove them from our environment.\\n1-2. Realize that everything you do has a result.\\nFor every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you choose to do does have consequences-often in ways you can't foresee or possibly know of. Being serious involves recognizing what most needs your attention, and focusing on it.\\nAlways avoid procrastination. Not only does procrastinating cause stress and contribute to depression and anxiety, it can be a major factor in reducing overall productivity and leading to unintended consequences. \\nExample: I need to trim a dead tree branch hanging over my house. Instead I decide I'll do it later and play a video game now. Later that day, my friend calls, and desperately needs a ride from the airport. The branch doesn't get trimmed. That night there's a huge windstorm. The branch falls and punches a hole in my roof. Now, instead of simply trimming a tree branch, I have to get my roof fixed, too! Take care of what needs attention first-you may regret it if you don't.\\n1-3. Reduce the need to multitask.\\nMultitasking makes us feel like we're being productive, but in reality too much multitasking can cause distraction and lessen our effectiveness. Take each task individually, get it done, and move on to the next.\\n1-4. Tackle your most difficult tasks first.\\nGetting the most difficult or least pleasant tasks out of the way first will give you a huge boost and reduce the possibility of procrastination. After getting the biggest obstacle out of the way, the other items on your list will seem like a breeze.\\n2. Prioritizing Tasks\\n2-1. Make a list.\\nMake a list the night before of the day's tasks in order of urgency and importance.\\nIf you have a smartphone, then you have a powerful organizational tool at your fingertips! There are many useful apps for creating a concise and helpful to do list. Using an app can also help you keep your lists organized, rather than creating a sea of paper. \\nRemember, put the most difficult tasks at the top of your list.\\n2-2. Get up in the morning and make your bed.\\nStarting the day with a positive accomplishment, however small, gets the ball of accomplishment for the rest of the day rolling. Then look at your prioritized list. Take each item one at a time, and let each task completed be a segue into the next. After each task is accomplished, the next words out of an effective and serious person's mouth are, \\\"what's next?\\\". Let that be your mantra. Always ask yourself, \\\"what's next?\\\".\\n2-3. Allow yourself a short break from time to time.\\nBut don't get sidetracked! Specify what your break will entail. Think, \\\"I'll finish this episode of my favorite show while I eat this banana, then back to the task at hand.\\\" Stick to it-once you let yourself slide off the schedule, it's a slippery slope to accomplishing nothing at all.\\n2-4. Use your time wisely.\\nRecognize that time is finite, and think of it as a resource. Be aware of the time you spend on a task. Don't become so swept up in mundane details that you waste time on things that don't matter. Ask yourself, \\\"how is the time I'm spending on this advancing me toward my goal? Be able to put things aside that are holding you back from accomplishing what you set out to accomplish, or, if the way you've chosen to go about a task isn't working, try something else. Be flexible; be malleable. Be able to bend without breaking.\\n2-5. Know how far you can go.\\nKnowing your limits isn't limiting, but freeing! Accepting that you have accomplished tasks to the best of your abilities is hugely rewarding. Remember, completing any task gives you a boost to accomplish more. Take simple steps, and continue to do so, and over time you will accomplish a great deal.\\n2-6. Understand the rules of the game.\\nSome rules can be changed and others cannot. Having the grace to change what you can and accept what you cannot is huge in being a more serious person. To fret over mundane details of life you wish could be different, but know deep down cannot, is to limit yourself. When you come upon an immovable obstacle, go around it, and proceed on your course.\\n3. Maintaining a Mature and Professional Demeanor\\n3-1. Look ahead, not back.\\nAs we grow older, we tend to want to hang on to youthful behaviors. Everyone goes through periods of conflict between the desire to be carefree and just have fun, and being mature and responsible. Let’s face it-often being mature and serious is the less immediately pleasant way of living life. However, being more serious in life involves realizing that the long term benefits of being responsible and taking care of business outweigh hedonistic pleasures.\\nWake everyday with the intention of being mature.\\nBe aware each morning that some of the decisions ahead in your day will involve foregoing fun in favor of accomplishment.\\n3-2. Consider your social stature.\\nIf you want to be serious, be aware of how your everyday behavior reflects that. You are how you act, so making the effort to be serious and mature in your actions throughout the day, even the small things, is important to truly being serious.\\n3-3. Be in control of your emotions.\\nOne of the most important part of being mature is having the ability to control your emotions, rather than them controlling you. \\nConsider your feelings carefully before acting on them. Act, don’t react. When you behave with maturity, you’re using the rational and reasoning side of yourself rather than the animalistic, instinctual side.\\nWhen someone speaks to you, especially in moments of conflict, pause and consider your reply with a cool head before responding. What first pops into your head isn’t always the best thing to say. Think before you speak.\\nApply that to actions especially. Actions speak louder than words, so be especially aware of how your actions reflect on your level of maturity. Do you act only after cooly thinking out your course, or do you react without consider the consequences?\\n3-4. Love yourself.\\nPart of being mature is recognizing that you have worth. It’s often easier to beat oneself up over mistakes than to learn from them. If you want to be more mature and live a more serious life, make the effort to respect yourself and value yourself.\\nTreat your body with respect. Eat well, and get plenty of exercise and sleep.\\nKeep friends who value you, get rid of people who don’t. Friends will respect you and understand that you are special for being you. Everyone crosses paths with people who do not do those things. You have no obligation to keep them around. Part of maturity is making the tough decisions about who we associate with.\\n4. Taking Pride in Yourself and your Appearance\\n4-1. Be self aware (as opposed to self conscious).\\nBeing self aware doesn't mean you are being shy or embarrassed, aspects we usually associate with self-consciousness, but that you have the capacity to reflect on yourself, both inwardly and outwardly.\\n4-2. Practice good hygiene.\\nTaking pride in oneself enough to practice good hygiene is important in being a serious and meaningful person. It is also healthier and will simply help you feel good!\\nKeep your hair and fingernails trimmed.\\nBrush your teeth at least twice daily. Practicing good oral hygiene not only shows others that you are a serious and put together person, but it also helps protect against bacterial infection and is beneficial for your health overall.\\n4-3. Wear clothes that you like, neatly.\\nWear clothes that you want to wear, and that are neat, is important in showing that you are a serious person. It doesn't have to mean that you are vain or overly self-conscious, but simply that you care enough about your own well being to take care of yourself.\\n5. Remembering the Golden Rule\\n5-1. Be helpful to other human beings.\\nIt is so easy in today's world to become focused on \\\"me\\\" that we often forget that one of the most rewarding and productive things we can do is to focus on the well-being of others.\\nWhen you are helpful to others, even in small, everyday ways, you will find that your overall sense of your own well being will greatly increase and your confidence in the tasks and goals you have before you will be much greater.\\nGreater confidence in yourself and your own abilities results in much higher personal productivity, and, in turn, will help you to become a more serious person.\\n5-2. Volunteer.\\nGet involved in local volunteer opportunities. In 2013 alone, over 62 million Americans engaged in some form of volunteer work. \\nDo you have a soft spot for kids? For old folks? For animals? Maybe you'd like to help maintain trails at a local park, or feed the homeless in a soup kitchen. Volunteer opportunities abound everywhere, especially in urban centers.\\nEven a couple hours a week, or even a month, can help give you a sense of focus and purpose in your life. Volunteering not only makes you feel good about yourself, it connects you with others, increases your social skills, combats depression, and helps keep you healthy.\\n5-3. Practice the golden rule.\\nWhen you do to others as you would have done to yourself, you create a loop of goodwill. This isn't just for morality's sake; the more you show goodwill to others, the more likely they will be to contribute to your own advancement.\\nTips\\nTake the time to step back and look at what you've achieved. Remember, having a sense of pride about accomplishing will help motivate you to accomplish even more!\\nYou live in an environment, so make it incredible. Surround yourself with you. Take the time to clean, to furnish your dwelling and work space and make it your own. When you are in control of your environment, you are in control of yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to live a more serious, grounded life and have people take you more seriously? Being serious is a state of mind that can help you stay focused and make healthier, more rational decisions. It can also help you grow professionally and develop better relationships. Check out the tips below to learn how you can start living more seriously and start commanding the respect you deserve.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Staying Focused\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Train your brain.\", \"描述\": \"If you have trouble staying focused, it can help to think of your brain as a muscle, and just like the rest of your muscles, it needs to be exercised to be effective at its job.\\nSet aside a time of day to practice focusing on a single task.\\nStart small-just take a few minutes at first each day to really make yourself fully focus on single task. If and when you find your mind wandering, immediately return to the task at hand.\\nIf you realize you've drifted off task, that's half the battle!\\nRemove distractions and focus more by practicing mindfulness and presence. Since we can notice all sorts of distractions in our daily lives, make a list of the most common distractions we experience and make a real or mental note to remove them from our environment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Realize that everything you do has a result.\", \"描述\": \"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you choose to do does have consequences-often in ways you can't foresee or possibly know of. Being serious involves recognizing what most needs your attention, and focusing on it.\\nAlways avoid procrastination. Not only does procrastinating cause stress and contribute to depression and anxiety, it can be a major factor in reducing overall productivity and leading to unintended consequences. \\nExample: I need to trim a dead tree branch hanging over my house. Instead I decide I'll do it later and play a video game now. Later that day, my friend calls, and desperately needs a ride from the airport. The branch doesn't get trimmed. That night there's a huge windstorm. The branch falls and punches a hole in my roof. Now, instead of simply trimming a tree branch, I have to get my roof fixed, too! Take care of what needs attention first-you may regret it if you don't.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reduce the need to multitask.\", \"描述\": \"Multitasking makes us feel like we're being productive, but in reality too much multitasking can cause distraction and lessen our effectiveness. Take each task individually, get it done, and move on to the next.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tackle your most difficult tasks first.\", \"描述\": \"Getting the most difficult or least pleasant tasks out of the way first will give you a huge boost and reduce the possibility of procrastination. After getting the biggest obstacle out of the way, the other items on your list will seem like a breeze.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prioritizing Tasks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list.\", \"描述\": \"Make a list the night before of the day's tasks in order of urgency and importance.\\nIf you have a smartphone, then you have a powerful organizational tool at your fingertips! There are many useful apps for creating a concise and helpful to do list. Using an app can also help you keep your lists organized, rather than creating a sea of paper. \\nRemember, put the most difficult tasks at the top of your list.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get up in the morning and make your bed.\", \"描述\": \"Starting the day with a positive accomplishment, however small, gets the ball of accomplishment for the rest of the day rolling. Then look at your prioritized list. Take each item one at a time, and let each task completed be a segue into the next. After each task is accomplished, the next words out of an effective and serious person's mouth are, \\\"what's next?\\\". Let that be your mantra. Always ask yourself, \\\"what's next?\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Allow yourself a short break from time to time.\", \"描述\": \"But don't get sidetracked! Specify what your break will entail. Think, \\\"I'll finish this episode of my favorite show while I eat this banana, then back to the task at hand.\\\" Stick to it-once you let yourself slide off the schedule, it's a slippery slope to accomplishing nothing at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use your time wisely.\", \"描述\": \"Recognize that time is finite, and think of it as a resource. Be aware of the time you spend on a task. Don't become so swept up in mundane details that you waste time on things that don't matter. Ask yourself, \\\"how is the time I'm spending on this advancing me toward my goal? Be able to put things aside that are holding you back from accomplishing what you set out to accomplish, or, if the way you've chosen to go about a task isn't working, try something else. Be flexible; be malleable. Be able to bend without breaking.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know how far you can go.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing your limits isn't limiting, but freeing! Accepting that you have accomplished tasks to the best of your abilities is hugely rewarding. Remember, completing any task gives you a boost to accomplish more. Take simple steps, and continue to do so, and over time you will accomplish a great deal.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Understand the rules of the game.\", \"描述\": \"Some rules can be changed and others cannot. Having the grace to change what you can and accept what you cannot is huge in being a more serious person. To fret over mundane details of life you wish could be different, but know deep down cannot, is to limit yourself. When you come upon an immovable obstacle, go around it, and proceed on your course.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining a Mature and Professional Demeanor\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look ahead, not back.\", \"描述\": \"As we grow older, we tend to want to hang on to youthful behaviors. Everyone goes through periods of conflict between the desire to be carefree and just have fun, and being mature and responsible. Let’s face it-often being mature and serious is the less immediately pleasant way of living life. However, being more serious in life involves realizing that the long term benefits of being responsible and taking care of business outweigh hedonistic pleasures.\\nWake everyday with the intention of being mature.\\nBe aware each morning that some of the decisions ahead in your day will involve foregoing fun in favor of accomplishment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider your social stature.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be serious, be aware of how your everyday behavior reflects that. You are how you act, so making the effort to be serious and mature in your actions throughout the day, even the small things, is important to truly being serious.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be in control of your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most important part of being mature is having the ability to control your emotions, rather than them controlling you. \\nConsider your feelings carefully before acting on them. Act, don’t react. When you behave with maturity, you’re using the rational and reasoning side of yourself rather than the animalistic, instinctual side.\\nWhen someone speaks to you, especially in moments of conflict, pause and consider your reply with a cool head before responding. What first pops into your head isn’t always the best thing to say. Think before you speak.\\nApply that to actions especially. Actions speak louder than words, so be especially aware of how your actions reflect on your level of maturity. Do you act only after cooly thinking out your course, or do you react without consider the consequences?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Love yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being mature is recognizing that you have worth. It’s often easier to beat oneself up over mistakes than to learn from them. If you want to be more mature and live a more serious life, make the effort to respect yourself and value yourself.\\nTreat your body with respect. Eat well, and get plenty of exercise and sleep.\\nKeep friends who value you, get rid of people who don’t. Friends will respect you and understand that you are special for being you. Everyone crosses paths with people who do not do those things. You have no obligation to keep them around. Part of maturity is making the tough decisions about who we associate with.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Taking Pride in Yourself and your Appearance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be self aware (as opposed to self conscious).\", \"描述\": \"Being self aware doesn't mean you are being shy or embarrassed, aspects we usually associate with self-consciousness, but that you have the capacity to reflect on yourself, both inwardly and outwardly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Taking pride in oneself enough to practice good hygiene is important in being a serious and meaningful person. It is also healthier and will simply help you feel good!\\nKeep your hair and fingernails trimmed.\\nBrush your teeth at least twice daily. Practicing good oral hygiene not only shows others that you are a serious and put together person, but it also helps protect against bacterial infection and is beneficial for your health overall.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that you like, neatly.\", \"描述\": \"Wear clothes that you want to wear, and that are neat, is important in showing that you are a serious person. It doesn't have to mean that you are vain or overly self-conscious, but simply that you care enough about your own well being to take care of yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remembering the Golden Rule\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be helpful to other human beings.\", \"描述\": \"It is so easy in today's world to become focused on \\\"me\\\" that we often forget that one of the most rewarding and productive things we can do is to focus on the well-being of others.\\nWhen you are helpful to others, even in small, everyday ways, you will find that your overall sense of your own well being will greatly increase and your confidence in the tasks and goals you have before you will be much greater.\\nGreater confidence in yourself and your own abilities results in much higher personal productivity, and, in turn, will help you to become a more serious person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Volunteer.\", \"描述\": \"Get involved in local volunteer opportunities. In 2013 alone, over 62 million Americans engaged in some form of volunteer work. \\nDo you have a soft spot for kids? For old folks? For animals? Maybe you'd like to help maintain trails at a local park, or feed the homeless in a soup kitchen. Volunteer opportunities abound everywhere, especially in urban centers.\\nEven a couple hours a week, or even a month, can help give you a sense of focus and purpose in your life. Volunteering not only makes you feel good about yourself, it connects you with others, increases your social skills, combats depression, and helps keep you healthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice the golden rule.\", \"描述\": \"When you do to others as you would have done to yourself, you create a loop of goodwill. This isn't just for morality's sake; the more you show goodwill to others, the more likely they will be to contribute to your own advancement.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take the time to step back and look at what you've achieved. Remember, having a sense of pride about accomplishing will help motivate you to accomplish even more!\\n\", \"You live in an environment, so make it incredible. Surround yourself with you. Take the time to clean, to furnish your dwelling and work space and make it your own. When you are in control of your environment, you are in control of yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,145 | How to Be Sexually Attractive: What to Do, What to Say, and More | 1. Be confident.
"Confidence is key” isn’t just a sappy cliché!
When you want to be sexually attractive to another person, the best thing you can do is be confident. The thought of being rejected can be anxiety-inducing, especially if it happens a lot. But showcasing your self-acceptance, independence, and sense of purpose outside of dating will paradoxically make you more sexually attractive.
If you lack confidence, practice initiating conversations with 100 strangers, whether you find them attractive or not, just to get in the habit of socializing.
Don’t confuse having confidence with being arrogant, acting as if you aren’t interested in dating, or playing hot-and-cold with your crush.
This goes hand in hand with being gracious about rejection. It’s hard to do, but if someone rejects you, it’s normal to be hurt, but try to understand that it’s probably not personal.
While rejection is often firm, sometimes “no” can become a “yes” over time. Don’t count on this to happen, but recognize that a rejection doesn’t have to be forever. Just go with the flow.
2. Have a sense of humor.
Besides confidence, humor is one of the most sexually attractive traits.
Studies indicate people who laugh together are more likely to be romantically interested in one another. You don’t have to be a comedian to have a good sense of humor—just laugh easily and be able to make fun of yourself.
People love to be entertained and to laugh, and we really only laugh when we feel safe. The more you can get someone to laugh, the more attracted they will be to you.
3. Be kind and show interest.
Make the person you’re flirting with feel seen.
Generally, you want to be nice to everybody—but make sure your crush knows they’re special. Compliment them, ask them about their life, and show you are curious about them—and be sincere. We tend to fall for people who make us feel understood.
Many people like to hear that they are physically attractive, but be sure to compliment the person you’re interested in on their non-physical traits, too.
Studies show people are often attracted to people who are…attracted to them! So don’t be afraid to show your crush you’d like to be closer to them.
While pickup artists aplenty push the seductive powers of “negging” (that is, being negative to someone—usually women—in order to get their attention), research indicates most people are turned off by rudeness (surprise, surprise!).
4. Exercise.
It’s more about feeling good than looking good.
While some people are sexually attracted to certain body types, exercise is also just a way to make you feel better about yourself and thus appear more attractive to others. Working out releases endorphins that increase your happiness, energy level, confidence, and sociability—all big green flags.
Better yet, go on an exercise date with your crush or partner: you’ll both be feeling happy and confident by the end of it—plus, the adrenaline that comes from exercise is easily translated to sexual arousal.
5. Be mysterious.
Keep some cards close to the chest.
Be nice and show interest, yes, but that doesn’t mean laying everything out on the table as soon as you meet someone. Oversharing or coming on too strongly is likely to turn potential dates off, and we tend to be attracted to people whose interest level is unclear. The person you’re chatting up will find it hard to stop wondering what you’re thinking.
In other words, don’t show up on someone’s lawn with a boombox streaming “In Your Eyes” until after you've been on a few dates (or ever).
6. Delete social media (or lock your accounts).
”Zero online presence” is the new sexy.
When prepping for a date with someone you met through an app, it’s almost become second nature to stalk their social media. But not having an online presence can be alluring to potential partners because it suggests confidence and independence—you don’t need to share your thoughts with the world for likes and comments!—and it also adds a bit of that all-important mystery.
That said, there are benefits to pre-date social media stalking. Social media clues us in on people’s likes and dislikes and, perhaps most important of all for a first date, their potential red flags.
7. Dress sharp.
Show off your style.
While a friendly and charming personality is the most important aspect of sexual attraction, it doesn’t hurt to look your best. Dress appropriately for the circumstances, in clean, unwrinkled clothing. Maybe add a spritz of fragrance. But while our culture stresses the importance of looking good for other people, what really makes you attractive is feeling good about yourself. People are drawn to confidence and self-acceptance.
Care about your appearance. That doesn’t mean looking a specific way, but embracing your personal sense of style.
8. Show some skin.
Wearing revealing clothing can make you more sexually attractive.
Studies show that revealing a bit of skin will influence others to perceive you as full of desire and hungry for pleasure. You don’t have to be naked to look sexy (and obviously you can’t in public)—just a hint of bare skin will increase sexual attractiveness.
You might wear a shirt with cutouts, a sleeveless or low-cut top, or tight clothing to showcase your body. Show as much or as little skin as is comfortable to you.
9. Wear red to attract attention.
Add a few fiery accessories to turn heads.
Psychologically speaking, the color red evokes boldness, sexuality, passion, even sin. Wear this color not just to draw attention to yourself, but to portray yourself as sultry, sexy, and confident. (And remember, everyone is attracted to confidence!)
From Valentine’s Day to red light districts, the color red evokes both the romantic and the erotic.
If red isn’t your color, you don’t have to deck yourself out in it: try incorporating a tie with red accents, red hair clips, red jewelry, or classic red lipstick.
10. Practice good hygiene.
Shower regularly, trim your nails, wash your hair—the whole shebang.
A spray of cologne or perfume can help attract eligible singles, but it’s not a substitute for bathing. Scrub down every day or two, and maintain your hair and nails.
Don’t confuse good hygiene with pressure to present a certain way. For instance, being hygienic doesn’t mean shaving facial or body hair if you don’t want to—it just means ensuring you’re clean, neat, and in control of your body.
11. Have friends with you.
Sociability plays a key role in how attractive a person is.
Being seen interacting and laughing with other people will make you seem friendly and likable. This is known as the “cheerleader effect.” Whether you’re using a wingman to talk you up to a cutie at the party or you carpooled to the shindig with a gaggle of fun-loving pals, you’ll get by with a little help from your friends.
Of course, don’t keep your buds around the whole time—you want to have one-on-one time with the person you’re flirting with.
12. Make eye contact.
Use eye contact to show you’re invested in someone.
In the age of Covid, many of us have gotten pretty darn good at using our eyes to express interest. But even when you’re not masked up, fixing your gaze on your crush will show them you’re paying attention to what they’re saying—and that you like what you’re seeing! The eyes, as they say, are the window to the soul.
If you want to get someone to approach you, make the subtle first move by initiating eye contact and smiling a bit. This will hint to them that you want them to chat you up.
If you’re staring someone down and they don’t respond, either be more direct with them, or take their neutrality as a sign they’re not interested.
For that matter, don’t stare anyone down: too intense a gaze can make people uncomfortable. Researchers recommend about 3 seconds of sustained eye contact at a time.
13. Smile—and make it authentic.
A genuine smile will make you more sexually attractive.
Smiling is a way of indicating that you are friendly, open, and easy to get along with. It also tells the person you're talking to that you're interested in them and what they're saying. Smile at a person you're interested in to encourage them to open up to you.
Some people, especially women, may smile to indicate nervousness. How do you discern a genuine smile from an inauthentic one? A real smile engages the entire face, while a fake smile will only engage the mouth.
14. Use body language to appear approachable.
Maintain relaxed body language to give off a casual vibe.
Loose posture indicates you are easygoing and friendly—don’t slouch your shoulders, but relax your muscles, and keep your arms and legs uncrossed. Once you’re in a conversation with someone, practice mirroring their body language and tilting your head while they speak: these are signs you are interested in what they are saying.
If you're at a club or somewhere where it's appropriate to dance and move about, do so. Everyone is attracted to people who seem fun and approachable—and your dance moves might provide insight into how you operate in the bedroom.
15. Make excuses to flirt.
Take the pressure off by using an excuse to chat someone up.
The cold approach can be off-putting to the flirtee and just plain awkward for the flirter. But finding an excuse to speak to someone new can ease you into flirtation that feels natural.
Use your environment to your advantage. If you’re in a bookstore, you might wander over to where a cute girl is and ask if she can recommend a book from that genre.
Making an excuse to flirt also helps you save face if the person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. (You weren’t flirting, you were looking for book recs, right?)
16. Bite your lip.
Movies are wrong about a lot, but they’re right about lip-biting: it’s hot.
Bite your lip (and smile a bit) while speaking to someone to draw attention to your mouth. Lip-biting is a subtle sign to the person you’re flirting with that you want their lips on top of yours, or that you’re holding back saying what you really want to say (and we’re back to mystery again!).
Remember Prince Harry biting his lip at Meghan on their wedding day? Carry that energy with you the next time you’re cruising for honeys.
17. Tease.
Implement the ol’ push and pull.
Create sexual tension by coupling words that push your crush away—such as “I’d be in trouble if I dated you” or “You’re such a huge dork”—with body language that pulls them closer—such as eye contact, smirking, or literally pulling them closer.
While it’s important to be kind, that doesn’t rule out playful teasing. Teasing is a great way to build sexual tension as well as indicate to the other person that you feel comfortable and intimate with them.
Teasing isn’t game-playing—remember, most people aren’t receptive to the confusion of mind games. And you certainly don’t want to be mean or negative here; instead, go for playfully contradictory.
18. Use physical contact to flirt.
Subtle touching can send a message with no words.
Your mouth might be saying, “How ‘bout them Yankees?” but if you’re finding excuses to touch your crush’s elbow, sit shoulder to shoulder, whisper in their ear, or hold their hand, it doesn’t matter how mundane your conversation is, you’re creating some major sexual tension.
Be respectful and receptive to rejection: some people may not like being touched, especially if they do not return your feelings, and may pull away. Don’t take their rejection to heart, but accept their answer.
19. Be direct.
Ask for what you want.
It's romantic to think that you can lock eyes with a hottie across the room, whether they’re a total stranger or your wife of 32 years, and just know that you’re going to end up hot and heavy in the coat closet. But despite what movies may suggest, most people aren't mind-readers. So if you’re waiting for a “sign” to ask for a cutie’s number, or if you’re frustrated your boyfriend isn’t picking up on your subtle stroking of his leg, you may need to be more direct and ask if they want to date, kiss, bone, or what have you.
Many people hesitate to be direct because we don’t want to come on too strong and because directness opens the door to rejection. It’s a risk, for sure, but a worthwhile one!
Who knows? Maybe the apple of your eye is waiting for you to take the lead!
20. Talk dirty.
Add a bit of flavor to your flirting.
Whether to talk dirty or not, and how filthy to make it, depends on the situation, of course. Sprinkle some dirty talk into your conversation to add to the sexual tension and indicate to the person you’re flirting with where your mind is at.
You can keep it subtle and limit your dirty talk to sexual innuendo, or kick up the heat and whisper in your crush’s ear exactly what you’re thinking.
21. Discuss sex.
Ask your partner what they respond to in the bedroom.
In the end, everyone has different preferences. It’s a bit of a risk to ask a stranger in a bar what they’re into, but if you want to be more attractive to someone you’re already involved with, talk to them about what they like in bed.
Ask your partner what turns them on, what they like to do during sex, and what fantasies they have. Do they like it when you tug their hair? Hug them from behind?
It might sound awkward or even forced at first, but once you initiate the conversation, the heat is sure to build.
After you find out what your partner likes, you can practice implementing it into your seduction routine to become more sexually attractive to them.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be confident.\\n\\\"Confidence is key” isn’t just a sappy cliché!\\nWhen you want to be sexually attractive to another person, the best thing you can do is be confident. The thought of being rejected can be anxiety-inducing, especially if it happens a lot. But showcasing your self-acceptance, independence, and sense of purpose outside of dating will paradoxically make you more sexually attractive.\\nIf you lack confidence, practice initiating conversations with 100 strangers, whether you find them attractive or not, just to get in the habit of socializing.\\nDon’t confuse having confidence with being arrogant, acting as if you aren’t interested in dating, or playing hot-and-cold with your crush.\\nThis goes hand in hand with being gracious about rejection. It’s hard to do, but if someone rejects you, it’s normal to be hurt, but try to understand that it’s probably not personal.\\nWhile rejection is often firm, sometimes “no” can become a “yes” over time. Don’t count on this to happen, but recognize that a rejection doesn’t have to be forever. Just go with the flow.\\n2. Have a sense of humor.\\nBesides confidence, humor is one of the most sexually attractive traits.\\nStudies indicate people who laugh together are more likely to be romantically interested in one another. You don’t have to be a comedian to have a good sense of humor—just laugh easily and be able to make fun of yourself.\\nPeople love to be entertained and to laugh, and we really only laugh when we feel safe. The more you can get someone to laugh, the more attracted they will be to you.\\n3. Be kind and show interest.\\nMake the person you’re flirting with feel seen.\\nGenerally, you want to be nice to everybody—but make sure your crush knows they’re special. Compliment them, ask them about their life, and show you are curious about them—and be sincere. We tend to fall for people who make us feel understood.\\nMany people like to hear that they are physically attractive, but be sure to compliment the person you’re interested in on their non-physical traits, too.\\nStudies show people are often attracted to people who are…attracted to them! So don’t be afraid to show your crush you’d like to be closer to them.\\nWhile pickup artists aplenty push the seductive powers of “negging” (that is, being negative to someone—usually women—in order to get their attention), research indicates most people are turned off by rudeness (surprise, surprise!).\\n4. Exercise.\\nIt’s more about feeling good than looking good.\\nWhile some people are sexually attracted to certain body types, exercise is also just a way to make you feel better about yourself and thus appear more attractive to others. Working out releases endorphins that increase your happiness, energy level, confidence, and sociability—all big green flags.\\nBetter yet, go on an exercise date with your crush or partner: you’ll both be feeling happy and confident by the end of it—plus, the adrenaline that comes from exercise is easily translated to sexual arousal.\\n5. Be mysterious.\\nKeep some cards close to the chest.\\nBe nice and show interest, yes, but that doesn’t mean laying everything out on the table as soon as you meet someone. Oversharing or coming on too strongly is likely to turn potential dates off, and we tend to be attracted to people whose interest level is unclear. The person you’re chatting up will find it hard to stop wondering what you’re thinking.\\nIn other words, don’t show up on someone’s lawn with a boombox streaming “In Your Eyes” until after you've been on a few dates (or ever).\\n6. Delete social media (or lock your accounts).\\n”Zero online presence” is the new sexy.\\nWhen prepping for a date with someone you met through an app, it’s almost become second nature to stalk their social media. But not having an online presence can be alluring to potential partners because it suggests confidence and independence—you don’t need to share your thoughts with the world for likes and comments!—and it also adds a bit of that all-important mystery.\\nThat said, there are benefits to pre-date social media stalking. Social media clues us in on people’s likes and dislikes and, perhaps most important of all for a first date, their potential red flags.\\n7. Dress sharp.\\nShow off your style.\\nWhile a friendly and charming personality is the most important aspect of sexual attraction, it doesn’t hurt to look your best. Dress appropriately for the circumstances, in clean, unwrinkled clothing. Maybe add a spritz of fragrance. But while our culture stresses the importance of looking good for other people, what really makes you attractive is feeling good about yourself. People are drawn to confidence and self-acceptance.\\nCare about your appearance. That doesn’t mean looking a specific way, but embracing your personal sense of style.\\n8. Show some skin.\\nWearing revealing clothing can make you more sexually attractive.\\nStudies show that revealing a bit of skin will influence others to perceive you as full of desire and hungry for pleasure. You don’t have to be naked to look sexy (and obviously you can’t in public)—just a hint of bare skin will increase sexual attractiveness.\\nYou might wear a shirt with cutouts, a sleeveless or low-cut top, or tight clothing to showcase your body. Show as much or as little skin as is comfortable to you.\\n9. Wear red to attract attention.\\nAdd a few fiery accessories to turn heads.\\nPsychologically speaking, the color red evokes boldness, sexuality, passion, even sin. Wear this color not just to draw attention to yourself, but to portray yourself as sultry, sexy, and confident. (And remember, everyone is attracted to confidence!)\\nFrom Valentine’s Day to red light districts, the color red evokes both the romantic and the erotic.\\nIf red isn’t your color, you don’t have to deck yourself out in it: try incorporating a tie with red accents, red hair clips, red jewelry, or classic red lipstick.\\n10. Practice good hygiene.\\nShower regularly, trim your nails, wash your hair—the whole shebang.\\nA spray of cologne or perfume can help attract eligible singles, but it’s not a substitute for bathing. Scrub down every day or two, and maintain your hair and nails.\\nDon’t confuse good hygiene with pressure to present a certain way. For instance, being hygienic doesn’t mean shaving facial or body hair if you don’t want to—it just means ensuring you’re clean, neat, and in control of your body.\\n11. Have friends with you.\\nSociability plays a key role in how attractive a person is.\\nBeing seen interacting and laughing with other people will make you seem friendly and likable. This is known as the “cheerleader effect.” Whether you’re using a wingman to talk you up to a cutie at the party or you carpooled to the shindig with a gaggle of fun-loving pals, you’ll get by with a little help from your friends.\\nOf course, don’t keep your buds around the whole time—you want to have one-on-one time with the person you’re flirting with.\\n12. Make eye contact.\\nUse eye contact to show you’re invested in someone.\\nIn the age of Covid, many of us have gotten pretty darn good at using our eyes to express interest. But even when you’re not masked up, fixing your gaze on your crush will show them you’re paying attention to what they’re saying—and that you like what you’re seeing! The eyes, as they say, are the window to the soul.\\nIf you want to get someone to approach you, make the subtle first move by initiating eye contact and smiling a bit. This will hint to them that you want them to chat you up.\\nIf you’re staring someone down and they don’t respond, either be more direct with them, or take their neutrality as a sign they’re not interested.\\nFor that matter, don’t stare anyone down: too intense a gaze can make people uncomfortable. Researchers recommend about 3 seconds of sustained eye contact at a time.\\n13. Smile—and make it authentic.\\nA genuine smile will make you more sexually attractive.\\nSmiling is a way of indicating that you are friendly, open, and easy to get along with. It also tells the person you're talking to that you're interested in them and what they're saying. Smile at a person you're interested in to encourage them to open up to you.\\nSome people, especially women, may smile to indicate nervousness. How do you discern a genuine smile from an inauthentic one? A real smile engages the entire face, while a fake smile will only engage the mouth.\\n14. Use body language to appear approachable.\\nMaintain relaxed body language to give off a casual vibe.\\nLoose posture indicates you are easygoing and friendly—don’t slouch your shoulders, but relax your muscles, and keep your arms and legs uncrossed. Once you’re in a conversation with someone, practice mirroring their body language and tilting your head while they speak: these are signs you are interested in what they are saying.\\nIf you're at a club or somewhere where it's appropriate to dance and move about, do so. Everyone is attracted to people who seem fun and approachable—and your dance moves might provide insight into how you operate in the bedroom.\\n15. Make excuses to flirt.\\nTake the pressure off by using an excuse to chat someone up.\\nThe cold approach can be off-putting to the flirtee and just plain awkward for the flirter. But finding an excuse to speak to someone new can ease you into flirtation that feels natural.\\nUse your environment to your advantage. If you’re in a bookstore, you might wander over to where a cute girl is and ask if she can recommend a book from that genre.\\nMaking an excuse to flirt also helps you save face if the person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. (You weren’t flirting, you were looking for book recs, right?)\\n16. Bite your lip.\\nMovies are wrong about a lot, but they’re right about lip-biting: it’s hot.\\nBite your lip (and smile a bit) while speaking to someone to draw attention to your mouth. Lip-biting is a subtle sign to the person you’re flirting with that you want their lips on top of yours, or that you’re holding back saying what you really want to say (and we’re back to mystery again!).\\nRemember Prince Harry biting his lip at Meghan on their wedding day? Carry that energy with you the next time you’re cruising for honeys.\\n17. Tease.\\nImplement the ol’ push and pull.\\nCreate sexual tension by coupling words that push your crush away—such as “I’d be in trouble if I dated you” or “You’re such a huge dork”—with body language that pulls them closer—such as eye contact, smirking, or literally pulling them closer.\\nWhile it’s important to be kind, that doesn’t rule out playful teasing. Teasing is a great way to build sexual tension as well as indicate to the other person that you feel comfortable and intimate with them.\\nTeasing isn’t game-playing—remember, most people aren’t receptive to the confusion of mind games. And you certainly don’t want to be mean or negative here; instead, go for playfully contradictory.\\n18. Use physical contact to flirt.\\nSubtle touching can send a message with no words.\\nYour mouth might be saying, “How ‘bout them Yankees?” but if you’re finding excuses to touch your crush’s elbow, sit shoulder to shoulder, whisper in their ear, or hold their hand, it doesn’t matter how mundane your conversation is, you’re creating some major sexual tension.\\nBe respectful and receptive to rejection: some people may not like being touched, especially if they do not return your feelings, and may pull away. Don’t take their rejection to heart, but accept their answer.\\n19. Be direct.\\nAsk for what you want.\\nIt's romantic to think that you can lock eyes with a hottie across the room, whether they’re a total stranger or your wife of 32 years, and just know that you’re going to end up hot and heavy in the coat closet. But despite what movies may suggest, most people aren't mind-readers. So if you’re waiting for a “sign” to ask for a cutie’s number, or if you’re frustrated your boyfriend isn’t picking up on your subtle stroking of his leg, you may need to be more direct and ask if they want to date, kiss, bone, or what have you.\\nMany people hesitate to be direct because we don’t want to come on too strong and because directness opens the door to rejection. It’s a risk, for sure, but a worthwhile one!\\nWho knows? Maybe the apple of your eye is waiting for you to take the lead!\\n20. Talk dirty.\\nAdd a bit of flavor to your flirting.\\nWhether to talk dirty or not, and how filthy to make it, depends on the situation, of course. Sprinkle some dirty talk into your conversation to add to the sexual tension and indicate to the person you’re flirting with where your mind is at.\\nYou can keep it subtle and limit your dirty talk to sexual innuendo, or kick up the heat and whisper in your crush’s ear exactly what you’re thinking.\\n21. Discuss sex.\\nAsk your partner what they respond to in the bedroom.\\nIn the end, everyone has different preferences. It’s a bit of a risk to ask a stranger in a bar what they’re into, but if you want to be more attractive to someone you’re already involved with, talk to them about what they like in bed.\\nAsk your partner what turns them on, what they like to do during sex, and what fantasies they have. Do they like it when you tug their hair? Hug them from behind?\\nIt might sound awkward or even forced at first, but once you initiate the conversation, the heat is sure to build.\\nAfter you find out what your partner likes, you can practice implementing it into your seduction routine to become more sexually attractive to them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Desire is often mysterious and subjective: what do you wear, how do you act, and what do you say in order to appear sexually attractive to another person? Thankfully, there are a few tried-and-true methods based on expert research that will help you become more sexually attractive to other people, whether you’ve got your eye on that cute guy browsing at the bookstore or want to keep the flame burning with your wife of 10 years. If you want to ooze seduction, read on!This article is based on an interview with our licensed psychosexual therapist, Jacqueline Hellyer, founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"\\\"Confidence is key” isn’t just a sappy cliché!\", \"描述\": \"When you want to be sexually attractive to another person, the best thing you can do is be confident. The thought of being rejected can be anxiety-inducing, especially if it happens a lot. But showcasing your self-acceptance, independence, and sense of purpose outside of dating will paradoxically make you more sexually attractive.\\nIf you lack confidence, practice initiating conversations with 100 strangers, whether you find them attractive or not, just to get in the habit of socializing.\\nDon’t confuse having confidence with being arrogant, acting as if you aren’t interested in dating, or playing hot-and-cold with your crush.\\nThis goes hand in hand with being gracious about rejection. It’s hard to do, but if someone rejects you, it’s normal to be hurt, but try to understand that it’s probably not personal.\\nWhile rejection is often firm, sometimes “no” can become a “yes” over time. Don’t count on this to happen, but recognize that a rejection doesn’t have to be forever. Just go with the flow.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a sense of humor.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Besides confidence, humor is one of the most sexually attractive traits.\", \"描述\": \"Studies indicate people who laugh together are more likely to be romantically interested in one another. You don’t have to be a comedian to have a good sense of humor—just laugh easily and be able to make fun of yourself.\\nPeople love to be entertained and to laugh, and we really only laugh when we feel safe. The more you can get someone to laugh, the more attracted they will be to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be kind and show interest.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make the person you’re flirting with feel seen.\", \"描述\": \"Generally, you want to be nice to everybody—but make sure your crush knows they’re special. Compliment them, ask them about their life, and show you are curious about them—and be sincere. We tend to fall for people who make us feel understood.\\nMany people like to hear that they are physically attractive, but be sure to compliment the person you’re interested in on their non-physical traits, too.\\nStudies show people are often attracted to people who are…attracted to them! So don’t be afraid to show your crush you’d like to be closer to them.\\nWhile pickup artists aplenty push the seductive powers of “negging” (that is, being negative to someone—usually women—in order to get their attention), research indicates most people are turned off by rudeness (surprise, surprise!).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Exercise.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s more about feeling good than looking good.\", \"描述\": \"While some people are sexually attracted to certain body types, exercise is also just a way to make you feel better about yourself and thus appear more attractive to others. Working out releases endorphins that increase your happiness, energy level, confidence, and sociability—all big green flags.\\nBetter yet, go on an exercise date with your crush or partner: you’ll both be feeling happy and confident by the end of it—plus, the adrenaline that comes from exercise is easily translated to sexual arousal.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be mysterious.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep some cards close to the chest.\", \"描述\": \"Be nice and show interest, yes, but that doesn’t mean laying everything out on the table as soon as you meet someone. Oversharing or coming on too strongly is likely to turn potential dates off, and we tend to be attracted to people whose interest level is unclear. The person you’re chatting up will find it hard to stop wondering what you’re thinking.\\nIn other words, don’t show up on someone’s lawn with a boombox streaming “In Your Eyes” until after you've been on a few dates (or ever).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Delete social media (or lock your accounts).\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"”Zero online presence” is the new sexy.\", \"描述\": \"When prepping for a date with someone you met through an app, it’s almost become second nature to stalk their social media. But not having an online presence can be alluring to potential partners because it suggests confidence and independence—you don’t need to share your thoughts with the world for likes and comments!—and it also adds a bit of that all-important mystery.\\nThat said, there are benefits to pre-date social media stalking. Social media clues us in on people’s likes and dislikes and, perhaps most important of all for a first date, their potential red flags.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Dress sharp.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show off your style.\", \"描述\": \"While a friendly and charming personality is the most important aspect of sexual attraction, it doesn’t hurt to look your best. Dress appropriately for the circumstances, in clean, unwrinkled clothing. Maybe add a spritz of fragrance. But while our culture stresses the importance of looking good for other people, what really makes you attractive is feeling good about yourself. People are drawn to confidence and self-acceptance.\\nCare about your appearance. That doesn’t mean looking a specific way, but embracing your personal sense of style.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Show some skin.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wearing revealing clothing can make you more sexually attractive.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show that revealing a bit of skin will influence others to perceive you as full of desire and hungry for pleasure. You don’t have to be naked to look sexy (and obviously you can’t in public)—just a hint of bare skin will increase sexual attractiveness.\\nYou might wear a shirt with cutouts, a sleeveless or low-cut top, or tight clothing to showcase your body. Show as much or as little skin as is comfortable to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Wear red to attract attention.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Add a few fiery accessories to turn heads.\", \"描述\": \"Psychologically speaking, the color red evokes boldness, sexuality, passion, even sin. Wear this color not just to draw attention to yourself, but to portray yourself as sultry, sexy, and confident. (And remember, everyone is attracted to confidence!)\\nFrom Valentine’s Day to red light districts, the color red evokes both the romantic and the erotic.\\nIf red isn’t your color, you don’t have to deck yourself out in it: try incorporating a tie with red accents, red hair clips, red jewelry, or classic red lipstick.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Practice good hygiene.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Shower regularly, trim your nails, wash your hair—the whole shebang.\", \"描述\": \"A spray of cologne or perfume can help attract eligible singles, but it’s not a substitute for bathing. Scrub down every day or two, and maintain your hair and nails.\\nDon’t confuse good hygiene with pressure to present a certain way. For instance, being hygienic doesn’t mean shaving facial or body hair if you don’t want to—it just means ensuring you’re clean, neat, and in control of your body.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Have friends with you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sociability plays a key role in how attractive a person is.\", \"描述\": \"Being seen interacting and laughing with other people will make you seem friendly and likable. This is known as the “cheerleader effect.” Whether you’re using a wingman to talk you up to a cutie at the party or you carpooled to the shindig with a gaggle of fun-loving pals, you’ll get by with a little help from your friends.\\nOf course, don’t keep your buds around the whole time—you want to have one-on-one time with the person you’re flirting with.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use eye contact to show you’re invested in someone.\", \"描述\": \"In the age of Covid, many of us have gotten pretty darn good at using our eyes to express interest. But even when you’re not masked up, fixing your gaze on your crush will show them you’re paying attention to what they’re saying—and that you like what you’re seeing! The eyes, as they say, are the window to the soul.\\nIf you want to get someone to approach you, make the subtle first move by initiating eye contact and smiling a bit. This will hint to them that you want them to chat you up.\\nIf you’re staring someone down and they don’t respond, either be more direct with them, or take their neutrality as a sign they’re not interested.\\nFor that matter, don’t stare anyone down: too intense a gaze can make people uncomfortable. Researchers recommend about 3 seconds of sustained eye contact at a time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Smile—and make it authentic.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A genuine smile will make you more sexually attractive.\", \"描述\": \"Smiling is a way of indicating that you are friendly, open, and easy to get along with. It also tells the person you're talking to that you're interested in them and what they're saying. Smile at a person you're interested in to encourage them to open up to you.\\nSome people, especially women, may smile to indicate nervousness. How do you discern a genuine smile from an inauthentic one? A real smile engages the entire face, while a fake smile will only engage the mouth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Use body language to appear approachable.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain relaxed body language to give off a casual vibe.\", \"描述\": \"Loose posture indicates you are easygoing and friendly—don’t slouch your shoulders, but relax your muscles, and keep your arms and legs uncrossed. Once you’re in a conversation with someone, practice mirroring their body language and tilting your head while they speak: these are signs you are interested in what they are saying.\\nIf you're at a club or somewhere where it's appropriate to dance and move about, do so. Everyone is attracted to people who seem fun and approachable—and your dance moves might provide insight into how you operate in the bedroom.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Make excuses to flirt.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take the pressure off by using an excuse to chat someone up.\", \"描述\": \"The cold approach can be off-putting to the flirtee and just plain awkward for the flirter. But finding an excuse to speak to someone new can ease you into flirtation that feels natural.\\nUse your environment to your advantage. If you’re in a bookstore, you might wander over to where a cute girl is and ask if she can recommend a book from that genre.\\nMaking an excuse to flirt also helps you save face if the person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. (You weren’t flirting, you were looking for book recs, right?)\"}]}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Bite your lip.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Movies are wrong about a lot, but they’re right about lip-biting: it’s hot.\", \"描述\": \"Bite your lip (and smile a bit) while speaking to someone to draw attention to your mouth. Lip-biting is a subtle sign to the person you’re flirting with that you want their lips on top of yours, or that you’re holding back saying what you really want to say (and we’re back to mystery again!).\\nRemember Prince Harry biting his lip at Meghan on their wedding day? Carry that energy with you the next time you’re cruising for honeys.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Tease.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Implement the ol’ push and pull.\", \"描述\": \"Create sexual tension by coupling words that push your crush away—such as “I’d be in trouble if I dated you” or “You’re such a huge dork”—with body language that pulls them closer—such as eye contact, smirking, or literally pulling them closer.\\nWhile it’s important to be kind, that doesn’t rule out playful teasing. Teasing is a great way to build sexual tension as well as indicate to the other person that you feel comfortable and intimate with them.\\nTeasing isn’t game-playing—remember, most people aren’t receptive to the confusion of mind games. And you certainly don’t want to be mean or negative here; instead, go for playfully contradictory.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 18, \"标题\": \"Use physical contact to flirt.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Subtle touching can send a message with no words.\", \"描述\": \"Your mouth might be saying, “How ‘bout them Yankees?” but if you’re finding excuses to touch your crush’s elbow, sit shoulder to shoulder, whisper in their ear, or hold their hand, it doesn’t matter how mundane your conversation is, you’re creating some major sexual tension.\\nBe respectful and receptive to rejection: some people may not like being touched, especially if they do not return your feelings, and may pull away. Don’t take their rejection to heart, but accept their answer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 19, \"标题\": \"Be direct.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask for what you want.\", \"描述\": \"It's romantic to think that you can lock eyes with a hottie across the room, whether they’re a total stranger or your wife of 32 years, and just know that you’re going to end up hot and heavy in the coat closet. But despite what movies may suggest, most people aren't mind-readers. So if you’re waiting for a “sign” to ask for a cutie’s number, or if you’re frustrated your boyfriend isn’t picking up on your subtle stroking of his leg, you may need to be more direct and ask if they want to date, kiss, bone, or what have you.\\nMany people hesitate to be direct because we don’t want to come on too strong and because directness opens the door to rejection. It’s a risk, for sure, but a worthwhile one!\\nWho knows? Maybe the apple of your eye is waiting for you to take the lead!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 20, \"标题\": \"Talk dirty.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Add a bit of flavor to your flirting.\", \"描述\": \"Whether to talk dirty or not, and how filthy to make it, depends on the situation, of course. Sprinkle some dirty talk into your conversation to add to the sexual tension and indicate to the person you’re flirting with where your mind is at.\\nYou can keep it subtle and limit your dirty talk to sexual innuendo, or kick up the heat and whisper in your crush’s ear exactly what you’re thinking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 21, \"标题\": \"Discuss sex.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your partner what they respond to in the bedroom.\", \"描述\": \"In the end, everyone has different preferences. It’s a bit of a risk to ask a stranger in a bar what they’re into, but if you want to be more attractive to someone you’re already involved with, talk to them about what they like in bed.\\nAsk your partner what turns them on, what they like to do during sex, and what fantasies they have. Do they like it when you tug their hair? Hug them from behind?\\nIt might sound awkward or even forced at first, but once you initiate the conversation, the heat is sure to build.\\nAfter you find out what your partner likes, you can practice implementing it into your seduction routine to become more sexually attractive to them.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,146 | How to Be Sexually Empowered | 1. Being Knowledgeable About Sexuality and Gender
1-1. Learn about safe sex.
In order to be sexually empowered, it is important to understand the potential consequences of sex and how to protect yourself from them. The more knowledgeable you are about sex, the better equipped you will be to make the right decisions for yourself.
There are a wide variety of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that you may be exposed to when you choose to have sex with someone. Using a condom can help protect you from transmitting an STI.
Pregnancy is also a potential consequence of one partner with a penis and a partner with a vagina. There are a variety of ways to prevent pregnancy, so choose the method that works best for you. Barrier methods such as condoms, diaphragms, and cervical caps provide protection during each sexual encounter, while hormonal birth control methods such as pills, shots, patches, and implants prevent pregnancy for longer periods of time.
1-2. Understand your rights.
By law, you have the right to consent to each and every sexual experience you have. If anyone ever violates this right and forces you to have sex without your consent, this is considered rape.
Don't feel like you have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, no matter how badly your partner wants it. Being sexually empowered means you make the decisions that suit you best.
The law protects you from more than just unwanted sex. If anyone ever touches you in any way that you are uncomfortable with, you have the right to say no and to report the incident to the police if the person does not listen. You should also report any incidents of verbal harassment.
If you are raped or sexually assaulted, understand that it is never your fault. No matter what you were wearing or how you were acting, you were not asking to be assaulted.
1-3. Recognize gender role stereotypes.
Gender role stereotypes are beliefs that a community holds on the way individuals of a specific gender should look or act. These beliefs are often untrue and can be very damaging to individuals who do not conform to the stereotypes. Most people are introduced to these beliefs at a very young age, so it's important to step back and challenge everything you think you know about gender roles.
These stereotypes often reinforce the beliefs that people should only be attracted to member of the ‘opposite’ gender, or that men should hold the power in a heterosexual relationship.
It is important to recognize the double-standards that exist in gender stereotypes and to form your own opinions about them. For example, men who have multiple sexual partners are often encouraged by their peers, while women who have multiple sexual partners are often chastised for being promiscuous.
Individuals who do not fit within the confines of traditional gender stereotypes often feel ostracized and misunderstood. If this is the case for you, seek out support from like-minded friends and loved ones, or from a support group. There are a variety of support groups and hotlines for members of the LGBTQ community, for example.
1-4. Understand the power of choice.
You don't necessarily need to be sexually active in order to be sexually empowered. While everyone finds empowerment in different ways, the most important thing is that you decide what you will do with your own body. If you choose not to have sex, that is your choice and you should not let anyone persuade you to do anything you don't want to do.
2. Loving Yourself
2-1. Learn to love and accept your body.
Many people feel shame about their bodies, and some haven't seen every part of their bodies. In order to be sexually empowered, you have to see and love your body.
To improve your body image, try looking at yourself naked in a mirror. Smile at yourself and give yourself compliments. Remind yourself of all of the wonderful things our body is capable of. The more you do this, the more comfortable it will become for you.
2-2. Accept your sexual desires as normal.
It's completely natural to have sexual feelings and you should embrace that. If it wasn't for sex we wouldn't be here! If you feel any guilt or shame about your sexual desires, realize that there is no reason at all for anyone to make you feel that way.
Just because something is stigmatized by society, does not mean there is anything wrong with it. For example, many people, especially women, are taught that masturbation is wrong or sinful, which can cause them to become confused and hold negative feelings towards sex and their own bodies. The reality is that most people do masturbate and it is perfectly normal.
If you are having sexual desires that would involve harming others in any way, you should not embrace these. A therapist can help you understand where these desires are coming from and help you find more appropriate outlets for them.
2-3. Own your gender identity and sexual orientation.
Individuals often face discrimination for failing to conform to gender stereotypes or for not being heterosexual/cisgender. While it is certainly not an easy thing to do, fighting back against this discrimination and being proud of who you are is essential to becoming sexually empowered.
Do not let others tell you what your role should be in a relationship or who you should be attracted to. These decisions are entirely up to you.
2-4. Dismiss the critics.
Many cultures, religions, and individuals stigmatize people who do not conform to the norms of that community. If your community is unaccepting of you, you will face a lot of challenges in your journey to be sexually empowered. Eventually you will need to decide whether you will conform to the norms or ignore everyone who does not accept you for who you are.
Always think about your safety first. If you ever feel endangered in any way, call the police. You have the right to be safe and to express yourself!
It is up to you whether you want to share details of your sexual orientation, gender identity, and lifestyle with your family. Many people feel the need to do so in order to be their true selves, but for others, the consequences are not worth it. It's important to consider your own comfort level when deciding who to come out to.
If you know that some people in your life are likely to be more accepting than others, consider coming out to them first. They can offer you the support you need and help guide you as you talk with more and more people.
For some people, leaving the unaccepting community is the best option. Even if you do not completely cut ties with the community, you may be able to find a supportive group of like-minded people outside of the community. Look online for support groups, hotlines, or even chat rooms that are dedicated to supporting people like you.
3. Taking Ownership of Your Sexuality
3-1. Maintain the power.
In order for any sexual act to be empowering for you, it needs to be your choice. If someone else is forcing you to do something, it will objectify you, not empower you.
If you feel pressured by an individual or by society as a whole to perform a sexual act, you no longer have the power. The choice needs to be entirely un-coerced in order to be empowering.
Remember that you always have the right to stop consenting to something as soon as it becomes uncomfortable for you.
3-2. Form your own beliefs on empowerment.
Everyone has different beliefs on sexual empowerment. What some people find sexually empowering, others may find objectifying. Because of these varying opinions, it is important to take some time to consider what you personally find sexually empowering.
You should always base your decisions about sex on your own opinions on empowerment. Just because you want to be sexually empowered does not mean you need to have multiple sexual partners; it merely means that you can choose to have multiple sexual partners if you wish without feeling bad about it. If this doesn't feel right for your body, then it will not be empowering to you.
In addition to deciding about your sexual preferences, you will need to decide how much you want to display your body. Some women find it empowering to pose in sexually suggestive poses or dance in suggestive ways, for example. Other women may not find these things empowering at all.
3-3. Talk to your partners about your desires.
When you find yourself in a sexual relationship, communicate with your partner about your sexual desires and preferences. If you both understand what the other wants, you're more likely to have a satisfying sexual experience.
Don't be shy about telling your partner if you don't like something.
Remember that your pleasure is just as important as your partner's and one should not be prioritized above the other.
Don't make demands or intimidate your partner in any way. They deserve to be sexually empowered as well, and your sexual empowerment should not come at the expense of your partner's.
Tips
Always respect yourself and remember that you are worthy of other people's respect as well.
You will probably encounter people who do not agree with your opinions on sexual empowerment. They are entitled to their opinions, but don't let them make you feel bad about yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Knowledgeable About Sexuality and Gender\\n1-1. Learn about safe sex.\\nIn order to be sexually empowered, it is important to understand the potential consequences of sex and how to protect yourself from them. The more knowledgeable you are about sex, the better equipped you will be to make the right decisions for yourself.\\nThere are a wide variety of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that you may be exposed to when you choose to have sex with someone. Using a condom can help protect you from transmitting an STI.\\nPregnancy is also a potential consequence of one partner with a penis and a partner with a vagina. There are a variety of ways to prevent pregnancy, so choose the method that works best for you. Barrier methods such as condoms, diaphragms, and cervical caps provide protection during each sexual encounter, while hormonal birth control methods such as pills, shots, patches, and implants prevent pregnancy for longer periods of time.\\n1-2. Understand your rights.\\nBy law, you have the right to consent to each and every sexual experience you have. If anyone ever violates this right and forces you to have sex without your consent, this is considered rape.\\nDon't feel like you have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, no matter how badly your partner wants it. Being sexually empowered means you make the decisions that suit you best.\\nThe law protects you from more than just unwanted sex. If anyone ever touches you in any way that you are uncomfortable with, you have the right to say no and to report the incident to the police if the person does not listen. You should also report any incidents of verbal harassment.\\nIf you are raped or sexually assaulted, understand that it is never your fault. No matter what you were wearing or how you were acting, you were not asking to be assaulted.\\n1-3. Recognize gender role stereotypes.\\nGender role stereotypes are beliefs that a community holds on the way individuals of a specific gender should look or act. These beliefs are often untrue and can be very damaging to individuals who do not conform to the stereotypes. Most people are introduced to these beliefs at a very young age, so it's important to step back and challenge everything you think you know about gender roles.\\nThese stereotypes often reinforce the beliefs that people should only be attracted to member of the ‘opposite’ gender, or that men should hold the power in a heterosexual relationship.\\nIt is important to recognize the double-standards that exist in gender stereotypes and to form your own opinions about them. For example, men who have multiple sexual partners are often encouraged by their peers, while women who have multiple sexual partners are often chastised for being promiscuous.\\nIndividuals who do not fit within the confines of traditional gender stereotypes often feel ostracized and misunderstood. If this is the case for you, seek out support from like-minded friends and loved ones, or from a support group. There are a variety of support groups and hotlines for members of the LGBTQ community, for example.\\n1-4. Understand the power of choice.\\nYou don't necessarily need to be sexually active in order to be sexually empowered. While everyone finds empowerment in different ways, the most important thing is that you decide what you will do with your own body. If you choose not to have sex, that is your choice and you should not let anyone persuade you to do anything you don't want to do.\\n2. Loving Yourself\\n2-1. Learn to love and accept your body.\\nMany people feel shame about their bodies, and some haven't seen every part of their bodies. In order to be sexually empowered, you have to see and love your body.\\nTo improve your body image, try looking at yourself naked in a mirror. Smile at yourself and give yourself compliments. Remind yourself of all of the wonderful things our body is capable of. The more you do this, the more comfortable it will become for you.\\n2-2. Accept your sexual desires as normal.\\nIt's completely natural to have sexual feelings and you should embrace that. If it wasn't for sex we wouldn't be here! If you feel any guilt or shame about your sexual desires, realize that there is no reason at all for anyone to make you feel that way.\\nJust because something is stigmatized by society, does not mean there is anything wrong with it. For example, many people, especially women, are taught that masturbation is wrong or sinful, which can cause them to become confused and hold negative feelings towards sex and their own bodies. The reality is that most people do masturbate and it is perfectly normal.\\nIf you are having sexual desires that would involve harming others in any way, you should not embrace these. A therapist can help you understand where these desires are coming from and help you find more appropriate outlets for them.\\n2-3. Own your gender identity and sexual orientation.\\nIndividuals often face discrimination for failing to conform to gender stereotypes or for not being heterosexual/cisgender. While it is certainly not an easy thing to do, fighting back against this discrimination and being proud of who you are is essential to becoming sexually empowered.\\nDo not let others tell you what your role should be in a relationship or who you should be attracted to. These decisions are entirely up to you.\\n2-4. Dismiss the critics.\\nMany cultures, religions, and individuals stigmatize people who do not conform to the norms of that community. If your community is unaccepting of you, you will face a lot of challenges in your journey to be sexually empowered. Eventually you will need to decide whether you will conform to the norms or ignore everyone who does not accept you for who you are.\\nAlways think about your safety first. If you ever feel endangered in any way, call the police. You have the right to be safe and to express yourself!\\nIt is up to you whether you want to share details of your sexual orientation, gender identity, and lifestyle with your family. Many people feel the need to do so in order to be their true selves, but for others, the consequences are not worth it. It's important to consider your own comfort level when deciding who to come out to.\\nIf you know that some people in your life are likely to be more accepting than others, consider coming out to them first. They can offer you the support you need and help guide you as you talk with more and more people.\\nFor some people, leaving the unaccepting community is the best option. Even if you do not completely cut ties with the community, you may be able to find a supportive group of like-minded people outside of the community. Look online for support groups, hotlines, or even chat rooms that are dedicated to supporting people like you.\\n3. Taking Ownership of Your Sexuality\\n3-1. Maintain the power.\\nIn order for any sexual act to be empowering for you, it needs to be your choice. If someone else is forcing you to do something, it will objectify you, not empower you.\\nIf you feel pressured by an individual or by society as a whole to perform a sexual act, you no longer have the power. The choice needs to be entirely un-coerced in order to be empowering.\\nRemember that you always have the right to stop consenting to something as soon as it becomes uncomfortable for you.\\n3-2. Form your own beliefs on empowerment.\\nEveryone has different beliefs on sexual empowerment. What some people find sexually empowering, others may find objectifying. Because of these varying opinions, it is important to take some time to consider what you personally find sexually empowering.\\nYou should always base your decisions about sex on your own opinions on empowerment. Just because you want to be sexually empowered does not mean you need to have multiple sexual partners; it merely means that you can choose to have multiple sexual partners if you wish without feeling bad about it. If this doesn't feel right for your body, then it will not be empowering to you.\\nIn addition to deciding about your sexual preferences, you will need to decide how much you want to display your body. Some women find it empowering to pose in sexually suggestive poses or dance in suggestive ways, for example. Other women may not find these things empowering at all.\\n3-3. Talk to your partners about your desires.\\nWhen you find yourself in a sexual relationship, communicate with your partner about your sexual desires and preferences. If you both understand what the other wants, you're more likely to have a satisfying sexual experience.\\nDon't be shy about telling your partner if you don't like something.\\nRemember that your pleasure is just as important as your partner's and one should not be prioritized above the other.\\nDon't make demands or intimidate your partner in any way. They deserve to be sexually empowered as well, and your sexual empowerment should not come at the expense of your partner's.\\nTips\\nAlways respect yourself and remember that you are worthy of other people's respect as well.\\nYou will probably encounter people who do not agree with your opinions on sexual empowerment. They are entitled to their opinions, but don't let them make you feel bad about yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Becoming sexually empowered means that you take ownership of your sexuality, make your own choices, and respect your needs and desires. Different things can be sexually empowering to different people, so the journey will be unique to you. In order to become sexually empowered, you may have to break away from the stereotypes that society enforces on people and confront negative feelings that you have acquired about sexuality.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Knowledgeable About Sexuality and Gender\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about safe sex.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be sexually empowered, it is important to understand the potential consequences of sex and how to protect yourself from them. The more knowledgeable you are about sex, the better equipped you will be to make the right decisions for yourself.\\nThere are a wide variety of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that you may be exposed to when you choose to have sex with someone. Using a condom can help protect you from transmitting an STI.\\nPregnancy is also a potential consequence of one partner with a penis and a partner with a vagina. There are a variety of ways to prevent pregnancy, so choose the method that works best for you. Barrier methods such as condoms, diaphragms, and cervical caps provide protection during each sexual encounter, while hormonal birth control methods such as pills, shots, patches, and implants prevent pregnancy for longer periods of time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand your rights.\", \"描述\": \"By law, you have the right to consent to each and every sexual experience you have. If anyone ever violates this right and forces you to have sex without your consent, this is considered rape.\\nDon't feel like you have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, no matter how badly your partner wants it. Being sexually empowered means you make the decisions that suit you best.\\nThe law protects you from more than just unwanted sex. If anyone ever touches you in any way that you are uncomfortable with, you have the right to say no and to report the incident to the police if the person does not listen. You should also report any incidents of verbal harassment.\\nIf you are raped or sexually assaulted, understand that it is never your fault. No matter what you were wearing or how you were acting, you were not asking to be assaulted.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognize gender role stereotypes.\", \"描述\": \"Gender role stereotypes are beliefs that a community holds on the way individuals of a specific gender should look or act. These beliefs are often untrue and can be very damaging to individuals who do not conform to the stereotypes. Most people are introduced to these beliefs at a very young age, so it's important to step back and challenge everything you think you know about gender roles.\\nThese stereotypes often reinforce the beliefs that people should only be attracted to member of the ‘opposite’ gender, or that men should hold the power in a heterosexual relationship.\\nIt is important to recognize the double-standards that exist in gender stereotypes and to form your own opinions about them. For example, men who have multiple sexual partners are often encouraged by their peers, while women who have multiple sexual partners are often chastised for being promiscuous.\\nIndividuals who do not fit within the confines of traditional gender stereotypes often feel ostracized and misunderstood. If this is the case for you, seek out support from like-minded friends and loved ones, or from a support group. There are a variety of support groups and hotlines for members of the LGBTQ community, for example.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand the power of choice.\", \"描述\": \"You don't necessarily need to be sexually active in order to be sexually empowered. While everyone finds empowerment in different ways, the most important thing is that you decide what you will do with your own body. If you choose not to have sex, that is your choice and you should not let anyone persuade you to do anything you don't want to do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Loving Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to love and accept your body.\", \"描述\": \"Many people feel shame about their bodies, and some haven't seen every part of their bodies. In order to be sexually empowered, you have to see and love your body.\\nTo improve your body image, try looking at yourself naked in a mirror. Smile at yourself and give yourself compliments. Remind yourself of all of the wonderful things our body is capable of. The more you do this, the more comfortable it will become for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept your sexual desires as normal.\", \"描述\": \"It's completely natural to have sexual feelings and you should embrace that. If it wasn't for sex we wouldn't be here! If you feel any guilt or shame about your sexual desires, realize that there is no reason at all for anyone to make you feel that way.\\nJust because something is stigmatized by society, does not mean there is anything wrong with it. For example, many people, especially women, are taught that masturbation is wrong or sinful, which can cause them to become confused and hold negative feelings towards sex and their own bodies. The reality is that most people do masturbate and it is perfectly normal.\\nIf you are having sexual desires that would involve harming others in any way, you should not embrace these. A therapist can help you understand where these desires are coming from and help you find more appropriate outlets for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Own your gender identity and sexual orientation.\", \"描述\": \"Individuals often face discrimination for failing to conform to gender stereotypes or for not being heterosexual/cisgender. While it is certainly not an easy thing to do, fighting back against this discrimination and being proud of who you are is essential to becoming sexually empowered.\\nDo not let others tell you what your role should be in a relationship or who you should be attracted to. These decisions are entirely up to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dismiss the critics.\", \"描述\": \"Many cultures, religions, and individuals stigmatize people who do not conform to the norms of that community. If your community is unaccepting of you, you will face a lot of challenges in your journey to be sexually empowered. Eventually you will need to decide whether you will conform to the norms or ignore everyone who does not accept you for who you are.\\nAlways think about your safety first. If you ever feel endangered in any way, call the police. You have the right to be safe and to express yourself!\\nIt is up to you whether you want to share details of your sexual orientation, gender identity, and lifestyle with your family. Many people feel the need to do so in order to be their true selves, but for others, the consequences are not worth it. It's important to consider your own comfort level when deciding who to come out to.\\nIf you know that some people in your life are likely to be more accepting than others, consider coming out to them first. They can offer you the support you need and help guide you as you talk with more and more people.\\nFor some people, leaving the unaccepting community is the best option. Even if you do not completely cut ties with the community, you may be able to find a supportive group of like-minded people outside of the community. Look online for support groups, hotlines, or even chat rooms that are dedicated to supporting people like you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Taking Ownership of Your Sexuality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain the power.\", \"描述\": \"In order for any sexual act to be empowering for you, it needs to be your choice. If someone else is forcing you to do something, it will objectify you, not empower you.\\nIf you feel pressured by an individual or by society as a whole to perform a sexual act, you no longer have the power. The choice needs to be entirely un-coerced in order to be empowering.\\nRemember that you always have the right to stop consenting to something as soon as it becomes uncomfortable for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Form your own beliefs on empowerment.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has different beliefs on sexual empowerment. What some people find sexually empowering, others may find objectifying. Because of these varying opinions, it is important to take some time to consider what you personally find sexually empowering.\\nYou should always base your decisions about sex on your own opinions on empowerment. Just because you want to be sexually empowered does not mean you need to have multiple sexual partners; it merely means that you can choose to have multiple sexual partners if you wish without feeling bad about it. If this doesn't feel right for your body, then it will not be empowering to you.\\nIn addition to deciding about your sexual preferences, you will need to decide how much you want to display your body. Some women find it empowering to pose in sexually suggestive poses or dance in suggestive ways, for example. Other women may not find these things empowering at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to your partners about your desires.\", \"描述\": \"When you find yourself in a sexual relationship, communicate with your partner about your sexual desires and preferences. If you both understand what the other wants, you're more likely to have a satisfying sexual experience.\\nDon't be shy about telling your partner if you don't like something.\\nRemember that your pleasure is just as important as your partner's and one should not be prioritized above the other.\\nDon't make demands or intimidate your partner in any way. They deserve to be sexually empowered as well, and your sexual empowerment should not come at the expense of your partner's.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always respect yourself and remember that you are worthy of other people's respect as well.\\n\", \"You will probably encounter people who do not agree with your opinions on sexual empowerment. They are entitled to their opinions, but don't let them make you feel bad about yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,147 | How to Be Sexy | 1. Styling Yourself
1-1. Build a wardrobe
You don’t need the most expensive clothes to look amazing. Try on everything in your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel amazing. Make sure every item you keep boosts your confidence. When you buy new clothes, only purchase items that make you feel attractive.
Don’t worry about what’s “sexy.” Looking sexy depends on how much confidence you have, and wearing clothes that make you feel fabulous will help you convey confidence.
If you wear glasses, choose frames that fit well with your wardrobe and flatter your face shape. Be bold in your selection because it will make you appear more confident.
1-2. Show off your best features.
It’s okay if you don’t think your body is perfect because no one does. That doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy! To build your sex appeal, decide which features you think are your best. Then, play them up by choosing clothing or makeup that shows them off.
For example, let’s say your best features are your eyes and your legs. You might wear mascara and eyeshadow to enhance your eyes and clothing that accentuates your legs.
1-3. Maintain good hygiene by bathing daily.
People will find you more appealing if you’re clean and smell nice. Keep yourself clean and well-groomed by showering or bathing every day. Use soap and personal care products like deodorant to keep yourself smelling great.
Wash and condition your hair at least 2-4 times a week. If your hair gets really dirty, use dry shampoo between washes.
1-4. Care for your skin and nails.
Apply moisturizer to your face every morning and night to nourish your skin and use body lotion or cream daily to keep your body soft and supple. Additionally, trim and file your fingernails and toenails weekly or biweekly to keep them in good shape.
It’s up to you if you want to shave your face or body hair. You might shave your legs and underarms, or you might choose to let them grow. Similarly, you might decide to shave or trim your beard, or you may decide to let your facial hair grow. You’re sexiest when you’re being true to yourself!
Nail polish can be really sexy, but it isn’t necessary. Wear it if you like it or skip it if you don’t.
1-5. Pick a hairstyle
How you feel about your hair is more important than the haircut you choose. Try to wear your hair in a way that makes you feel confident. Choose a style that frames your face well and shows off your sense of style.
Any hairstyle can be sexy, so don’t feel like you have to pick a particular hairstyle. For instance, a shaved head can be a very sexy look for any gender if you wear it with confidence.
1-6. Choose a signature scent if you wear perfume.
You don’t have to wear perfume to be sexy, but spritzing yourself with your favorite scent can create an impression in people’s memories. This makes you memorable, which will help you appear sexier. Pick a scent that appeals to you and fits with your personality. Then, wear it every day so that people associate it with you.
Put your perfume on your neck or wrists, which are your pulse points.
Just spritz a little perfume onto yourself, such as 1-2 sprays. If you wear too much, it can turn people off.
1-7. Wear something red to draw eyes to you.
The color red makes you appear attractive to other people on an unconscious level, so it’s an easy way to appear sexier. Wear a red dress, shirt, skirt, or pants to draw all eyes to you. Alternatively, add a pop of red with a scarf or tie.
Use red when you want to impress people. For instance, you might wear a red dress or blazer to your high school reunion.
2. Using Body Language
2-1. Leave your wrists exposed because they give off pheromones.
You have glands in your wrists that emit pheromones, which are a chemical substance that your body makes. Pheromones attract other people to you, so they’ll make people more interested in you. Avoid wearing sleeves or jewelry that cover your wrists when you want to appear sexier.
For instance, you might wear a jacket or cardigan with 3/4-length sleeves so your wrists are exposed.
If you put perfume on your wrists, the scent will stand out because your wrists are pulse points. However, the smell will mask your natural pheromones.
2-2. Slow down and accentuate your body movements.
When you move slowly, it draws eyes to you and makes you seem more alluring. Slow down your walk, arm movements, and gestures. Act like you have all the time in the world and are just enjoying being yourself.
For instance, walk slowly so you can add a sway or swagger to each step.
There will be times when you’re in a rush and need to hurry, and that's okay. Don’t feel like you always have to alluring.
2-3. Make eye contact so you appear confident.
Eye contact shows people that you’re confident, even if you don’t always feel that way. When you see people, look them in the eye to acknowledge their presence. Similarly, make sustained eye contact while you’re talking to someone.
Eye contact is typically brief, so you might meet someone's eyes and then look away. If you focus on their eyes for too long, it can turn into staring.
If making eye contact is hard for you, practice so it becomes easier. Start by making eye contact with yourself in a mirror, then do it with a person you care about. Over time, you’ll get better at making eye contact.
2-4. Touch people lightly to establish a connection with them.
When you’re talking to someone, lightly touch them on the arm or shoulder blade to show them you’re focused on them. Alternatively, lightly graze against them. This makes them feel like you’re truly interested in them, which makes you more appealing.
Only use touch when you feel confident that the other person will like being touched. For instance, it’s okay to lightly touch someone who’s a friend or on a date with you. However, it’s not a good idea to touch a coworker.
2-5. Smile to draw people to you.
When you smile, it brightens your face and makes you appear friendly and approachable. Additionally, you can use different types of smiles to make yourself more alluring. For instance, a sly or lopsided smile can make you look mysterious, a one-sided smile can appear flirty, an open-mouth smile radiates joy, and a lip-biting smile can be suggestive.
Practice smiling in the mirror to help you get better at it. Then, you can flash your smile at the people you encounter.
2-6. Wink at people to be a little flirty.
Giving people a quick wink draws attention to you and makes you seem bold and confident. Also, it's an easy way to seem flirty without actually having to talk to people. Wink at people occasionally to make yourself seem sexy and intriguing.
For instance, you might wink at your crush as you're passing them.
3. Showing off Your Personality
3-1. Fill your life with things you enjoy so you’re having fun.
Being fun draws people to you, which makes you more appealing. The best way to be fun is to have fun, so include more enjoyable things in your life. Try to do at least 1 fun thing a day to help you develop a fun attitude.
For example, invite your friends to go bowling, host a game night, get a manicure, meet a friend for coffee, or take an art class.
Try to have fun both alone and with others.
3-2. Try new things because they make you seem intriguing.
Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone because bravery is sexy. Challenge yourself to do new things, like going to a new restaurant or rock climbing. This will make people view you as confident and exciting, which are sexy qualities.
At the start of every year, make a list of new things you want to try. Then, try to check off 1 or 2 every month.
When someone suggests a new thing, be the first to volunteer to try it.
3-3. Be kind because it draws people to you.
While it’s simple, being nice to people goes a long way. It makes people see you as an appealing person, which can translate to sexiness. Always treat people well and offer compliments when you have something nice to say.
Try to give at least 1 compliment a day. You might say, “That color looks great on you,” or “Your presentation was stellar.”
3-4. Show off your smarts.
While you might think sexiness is about looks, being knowledgeable and intelligent are both viewed as sexy. Develop your mind by constantly learning new things. Then, show off that knowledge by talking about topics that interest you and sharing your skills with others.
You can learn more by reading, keeping up with the news, watching documentaries, and taking classes for fun.
When you have a lot of knowledge, carrying on a conversation is easier because you have a lot to say.
3-5. Develop your sense of humor.
Being able to share and understand humor makes you more appealing to others. To improve your sense of humor, watch comedies and Stand-Up to get a feel for how jokes work. Then, practice telling funny jokes and stories to your closest friends or relatives.
When people make jokes, laugh along to show them you have a great sense of humor.
Taking a comedy writing or improv class can help you be a lot funnier in your daily life.
3-6. Adopt a positive attitude
Being positive will make you more appealing to other people. To help yourself be more positive, keep a gratitude journal so you can recognize the good things in your life. Additionally, use positive affirmations like “Today is a good day” and “I’m doing awesome” to keep yourself upbeat.
Begin your gratitude journal by writing down 3-5 things you’re grateful for today. You might write, “Dinner with my family,” “My job,” and “Summer sunshine.” Then, add 3-5 things to your list every day. When you feel bummed, read over your gratitude journal.
Everyone goes through rough times, so don’t feel like you have to be happy all of the time.
3-7. Surround yourself with friends to seem more appealing.
Being part of a group makes you seem popular, which makes you more alluring. When you’re out, invite friends or family members to join you. If you’re going alone, talk to the people you meet or stand close to a group so you appear to be part of it.
Try making small talk with the people you encounter. You might say, “Is this your first time here?” “What menu items do you recommend?” or “Are you up for a game of pool or darts?”
3-8. Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel crummy.
Since being sexy is all about confidence, it's best to avoid things that threaten your self-esteem. Social media accounts that feature perfect bodies and unattainable standards may make you feel bad about yourself. To prevent this, click unfollow on accounts that bring your down. Instead, follow pages that lift you up and inspire you.
It’s okay to want to change things about yourself that you don’t like. That’s how you grow as a person. However, your inspiration for change should be positive, not rooted in self-doubt.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Styling Yourself\\n1-1. Build a wardrobe\\nYou don’t need the most expensive clothes to look amazing. Try on everything in your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel amazing. Make sure every item you keep boosts your confidence. When you buy new clothes, only purchase items that make you feel attractive.\\nDon’t worry about what’s “sexy.” Looking sexy depends on how much confidence you have, and wearing clothes that make you feel fabulous will help you convey confidence.\\nIf you wear glasses, choose frames that fit well with your wardrobe and flatter your face shape. Be bold in your selection because it will make you appear more confident.\\n1-2. Show off your best features.\\nIt’s okay if you don’t think your body is perfect because no one does. That doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy! To build your sex appeal, decide which features you think are your best. Then, play them up by choosing clothing or makeup that shows them off.\\nFor example, let’s say your best features are your eyes and your legs. You might wear mascara and eyeshadow to enhance your eyes and clothing that accentuates your legs.\\n1-3. Maintain good hygiene by bathing daily.\\nPeople will find you more appealing if you’re clean and smell nice. Keep yourself clean and well-groomed by showering or bathing every day. Use soap and personal care products like deodorant to keep yourself smelling great.\\nWash and condition your hair at least 2-4 times a week. If your hair gets really dirty, use dry shampoo between washes.\\n1-4. Care for your skin and nails.\\nApply moisturizer to your face every morning and night to nourish your skin and use body lotion or cream daily to keep your body soft and supple. Additionally, trim and file your fingernails and toenails weekly or biweekly to keep them in good shape.\\nIt’s up to you if you want to shave your face or body hair. You might shave your legs and underarms, or you might choose to let them grow. Similarly, you might decide to shave or trim your beard, or you may decide to let your facial hair grow. You’re sexiest when you’re being true to yourself!\\nNail polish can be really sexy, but it isn’t necessary. Wear it if you like it or skip it if you don’t.\\n1-5. Pick a hairstyle\\nHow you feel about your hair is more important than the haircut you choose. Try to wear your hair in a way that makes you feel confident. Choose a style that frames your face well and shows off your sense of style.\\nAny hairstyle can be sexy, so don’t feel like you have to pick a particular hairstyle. For instance, a shaved head can be a very sexy look for any gender if you wear it with confidence.\\n1-6. Choose a signature scent if you wear perfume.\\nYou don’t have to wear perfume to be sexy, but spritzing yourself with your favorite scent can create an impression in people’s memories. This makes you memorable, which will help you appear sexier. Pick a scent that appeals to you and fits with your personality. Then, wear it every day so that people associate it with you.\\nPut your perfume on your neck or wrists, which are your pulse points.\\nJust spritz a little perfume onto yourself, such as 1-2 sprays. If you wear too much, it can turn people off.\\n1-7. Wear something red to draw eyes to you.\\nThe color red makes you appear attractive to other people on an unconscious level, so it’s an easy way to appear sexier. Wear a red dress, shirt, skirt, or pants to draw all eyes to you. Alternatively, add a pop of red with a scarf or tie.\\nUse red when you want to impress people. For instance, you might wear a red dress or blazer to your high school reunion.\\n2. Using Body Language\\n2-1. Leave your wrists exposed because they give off pheromones.\\nYou have glands in your wrists that emit pheromones, which are a chemical substance that your body makes. Pheromones attract other people to you, so they’ll make people more interested in you. Avoid wearing sleeves or jewelry that cover your wrists when you want to appear sexier.\\nFor instance, you might wear a jacket or cardigan with 3/4-length sleeves so your wrists are exposed.\\nIf you put perfume on your wrists, the scent will stand out because your wrists are pulse points. However, the smell will mask your natural pheromones.\\n2-2. Slow down and accentuate your body movements.\\nWhen you move slowly, it draws eyes to you and makes you seem more alluring. Slow down your walk, arm movements, and gestures. Act like you have all the time in the world and are just enjoying being yourself.\\nFor instance, walk slowly so you can add a sway or swagger to each step.\\nThere will be times when you’re in a rush and need to hurry, and that's okay. Don’t feel like you always have to alluring.\\n2-3. Make eye contact so you appear confident.\\nEye contact shows people that you’re confident, even if you don’t always feel that way. When you see people, look them in the eye to acknowledge their presence. Similarly, make sustained eye contact while you’re talking to someone.\\nEye contact is typically brief, so you might meet someone's eyes and then look away. If you focus on their eyes for too long, it can turn into staring.\\nIf making eye contact is hard for you, practice so it becomes easier. Start by making eye contact with yourself in a mirror, then do it with a person you care about. Over time, you’ll get better at making eye contact.\\n2-4. Touch people lightly to establish a connection with them.\\nWhen you’re talking to someone, lightly touch them on the arm or shoulder blade to show them you’re focused on them. Alternatively, lightly graze against them. This makes them feel like you’re truly interested in them, which makes you more appealing.\\nOnly use touch when you feel confident that the other person will like being touched. For instance, it’s okay to lightly touch someone who’s a friend or on a date with you. However, it’s not a good idea to touch a coworker.\\n2-5. Smile to draw people to you.\\nWhen you smile, it brightens your face and makes you appear friendly and approachable. Additionally, you can use different types of smiles to make yourself more alluring. For instance, a sly or lopsided smile can make you look mysterious, a one-sided smile can appear flirty, an open-mouth smile radiates joy, and a lip-biting smile can be suggestive.\\nPractice smiling in the mirror to help you get better at it. Then, you can flash your smile at the people you encounter.\\n2-6. Wink at people to be a little flirty.\\nGiving people a quick wink draws attention to you and makes you seem bold and confident. Also, it's an easy way to seem flirty without actually having to talk to people. Wink at people occasionally to make yourself seem sexy and intriguing.\\nFor instance, you might wink at your crush as you're passing them.\\n3. Showing off Your Personality\\n3-1. Fill your life with things you enjoy so you’re having fun.\\nBeing fun draws people to you, which makes you more appealing. The best way to be fun is to have fun, so include more enjoyable things in your life. Try to do at least 1 fun thing a day to help you develop a fun attitude.\\nFor example, invite your friends to go bowling, host a game night, get a manicure, meet a friend for coffee, or take an art class.\\nTry to have fun both alone and with others.\\n3-2. Try new things because they make you seem intriguing.\\nDon’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone because bravery is sexy. Challenge yourself to do new things, like going to a new restaurant or rock climbing. This will make people view you as confident and exciting, which are sexy qualities.\\nAt the start of every year, make a list of new things you want to try. Then, try to check off 1 or 2 every month.\\nWhen someone suggests a new thing, be the first to volunteer to try it.\\n3-3. Be kind because it draws people to you.\\nWhile it’s simple, being nice to people goes a long way. It makes people see you as an appealing person, which can translate to sexiness. Always treat people well and offer compliments when you have something nice to say.\\nTry to give at least 1 compliment a day. You might say, “That color looks great on you,” or “Your presentation was stellar.”\\n3-4. Show off your smarts.\\nWhile you might think sexiness is about looks, being knowledgeable and intelligent are both viewed as sexy. Develop your mind by constantly learning new things. Then, show off that knowledge by talking about topics that interest you and sharing your skills with others.\\nYou can learn more by reading, keeping up with the news, watching documentaries, and taking classes for fun.\\nWhen you have a lot of knowledge, carrying on a conversation is easier because you have a lot to say.\\n3-5. Develop your sense of humor.\\nBeing able to share and understand humor makes you more appealing to others. To improve your sense of humor, watch comedies and Stand-Up to get a feel for how jokes work. Then, practice telling funny jokes and stories to your closest friends or relatives.\\nWhen people make jokes, laugh along to show them you have a great sense of humor.\\nTaking a comedy writing or improv class can help you be a lot funnier in your daily life.\\n3-6. Adopt a positive attitude\\nBeing positive will make you more appealing to other people. To help yourself be more positive, keep a gratitude journal so you can recognize the good things in your life. Additionally, use positive affirmations like “Today is a good day” and “I’m doing awesome” to keep yourself upbeat.\\nBegin your gratitude journal by writing down 3-5 things you’re grateful for today. You might write, “Dinner with my family,” “My job,” and “Summer sunshine.” Then, add 3-5 things to your list every day. When you feel bummed, read over your gratitude journal.\\nEveryone goes through rough times, so don’t feel like you have to be happy all of the time.\\n3-7. Surround yourself with friends to seem more appealing.\\nBeing part of a group makes you seem popular, which makes you more alluring. When you’re out, invite friends or family members to join you. If you’re going alone, talk to the people you meet or stand close to a group so you appear to be part of it.\\nTry making small talk with the people you encounter. You might say, “Is this your first time here?” “What menu items do you recommend?” or “Are you up for a game of pool or darts?”\\n3-8. Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel crummy.\\nSince being sexy is all about confidence, it's best to avoid things that threaten your self-esteem. Social media accounts that feature perfect bodies and unattainable standards may make you feel bad about yourself. To prevent this, click unfollow on accounts that bring your down. Instead, follow pages that lift you up and inspire you.\\nIt’s okay to want to change things about yourself that you don’t like. That’s how you grow as a person. However, your inspiration for change should be positive, not rooted in self-doubt.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being sexy means something different to everyone, so there’s no single way to be sexy. However, the one thing that can make anyone appear sexier is confidence! Appearing confident is all about body language, styling yourself right, and showing off your personality. By putting yourself out there and being true to yourself, you can be the sexiest you possible.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Styling Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build a wardrobe\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need the most expensive clothes to look amazing. Try on everything in your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel amazing. Make sure every item you keep boosts your confidence. When you buy new clothes, only purchase items that make you feel attractive.\\nDon’t worry about what’s “sexy.” Looking sexy depends on how much confidence you have, and wearing clothes that make you feel fabulous will help you convey confidence.\\nIf you wear glasses, choose frames that fit well with your wardrobe and flatter your face shape. Be bold in your selection because it will make you appear more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show off your best features.\", \"描述\": \"It’s okay if you don’t think your body is perfect because no one does. That doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy! To build your sex appeal, decide which features you think are your best. Then, play them up by choosing clothing or makeup that shows them off.\\nFor example, let’s say your best features are your eyes and your legs. You might wear mascara and eyeshadow to enhance your eyes and clothing that accentuates your legs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain good hygiene by bathing daily.\", \"描述\": \"People will find you more appealing if you’re clean and smell nice. Keep yourself clean and well-groomed by showering or bathing every day. Use soap and personal care products like deodorant to keep yourself smelling great.\\nWash and condition your hair at least 2-4 times a week. If your hair gets really dirty, use dry shampoo between washes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Care for your skin and nails.\", \"描述\": \"Apply moisturizer to your face every morning and night to nourish your skin and use body lotion or cream daily to keep your body soft and supple. Additionally, trim and file your fingernails and toenails weekly or biweekly to keep them in good shape.\\nIt’s up to you if you want to shave your face or body hair. You might shave your legs and underarms, or you might choose to let them grow. Similarly, you might decide to shave or trim your beard, or you may decide to let your facial hair grow. You’re sexiest when you’re being true to yourself!\\nNail polish can be really sexy, but it isn’t necessary. Wear it if you like it or skip it if you don’t.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pick a hairstyle\", \"描述\": \"How you feel about your hair is more important than the haircut you choose. Try to wear your hair in a way that makes you feel confident. Choose a style that frames your face well and shows off your sense of style.\\nAny hairstyle can be sexy, so don’t feel like you have to pick a particular hairstyle. For instance, a shaved head can be a very sexy look for any gender if you wear it with confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Choose a signature scent if you wear perfume.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to wear perfume to be sexy, but spritzing yourself with your favorite scent can create an impression in people’s memories. This makes you memorable, which will help you appear sexier. Pick a scent that appeals to you and fits with your personality. Then, wear it every day so that people associate it with you.\\nPut your perfume on your neck or wrists, which are your pulse points.\\nJust spritz a little perfume onto yourself, such as 1-2 sprays. If you wear too much, it can turn people off.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Wear something red to draw eyes to you.\", \"描述\": \"The color red makes you appear attractive to other people on an unconscious level, so it’s an easy way to appear sexier. Wear a red dress, shirt, skirt, or pants to draw all eyes to you. Alternatively, add a pop of red with a scarf or tie.\\nUse red when you want to impress people. For instance, you might wear a red dress or blazer to your high school reunion.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Leave your wrists exposed because they give off pheromones.\", \"描述\": \"You have glands in your wrists that emit pheromones, which are a chemical substance that your body makes. Pheromones attract other people to you, so they’ll make people more interested in you. Avoid wearing sleeves or jewelry that cover your wrists when you want to appear sexier.\\nFor instance, you might wear a jacket or cardigan with 3/4-length sleeves so your wrists are exposed.\\nIf you put perfume on your wrists, the scent will stand out because your wrists are pulse points. However, the smell will mask your natural pheromones.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Slow down and accentuate your body movements.\", \"描述\": \"When you move slowly, it draws eyes to you and makes you seem more alluring. Slow down your walk, arm movements, and gestures. Act like you have all the time in the world and are just enjoying being yourself.\\nFor instance, walk slowly so you can add a sway or swagger to each step.\\nThere will be times when you’re in a rush and need to hurry, and that's okay. Don’t feel like you always have to alluring.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact so you appear confident.\", \"描述\": \"Eye contact shows people that you’re confident, even if you don’t always feel that way. When you see people, look them in the eye to acknowledge their presence. Similarly, make sustained eye contact while you’re talking to someone.\\nEye contact is typically brief, so you might meet someone's eyes and then look away. If you focus on their eyes for too long, it can turn into staring.\\nIf making eye contact is hard for you, practice so it becomes easier. Start by making eye contact with yourself in a mirror, then do it with a person you care about. Over time, you’ll get better at making eye contact.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Touch people lightly to establish a connection with them.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re talking to someone, lightly touch them on the arm or shoulder blade to show them you’re focused on them. Alternatively, lightly graze against them. This makes them feel like you’re truly interested in them, which makes you more appealing.\\nOnly use touch when you feel confident that the other person will like being touched. For instance, it’s okay to lightly touch someone who’s a friend or on a date with you. However, it’s not a good idea to touch a coworker.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Smile to draw people to you.\", \"描述\": \"When you smile, it brightens your face and makes you appear friendly and approachable. Additionally, you can use different types of smiles to make yourself more alluring. For instance, a sly or lopsided smile can make you look mysterious, a one-sided smile can appear flirty, an open-mouth smile radiates joy, and a lip-biting smile can be suggestive.\\nPractice smiling in the mirror to help you get better at it. Then, you can flash your smile at the people you encounter.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wink at people to be a little flirty.\", \"描述\": \"Giving people a quick wink draws attention to you and makes you seem bold and confident. Also, it's an easy way to seem flirty without actually having to talk to people. Wink at people occasionally to make yourself seem sexy and intriguing.\\nFor instance, you might wink at your crush as you're passing them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Showing off Your Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fill your life with things you enjoy so you’re having fun.\", \"描述\": \"Being fun draws people to you, which makes you more appealing. The best way to be fun is to have fun, so include more enjoyable things in your life. Try to do at least 1 fun thing a day to help you develop a fun attitude.\\nFor example, invite your friends to go bowling, host a game night, get a manicure, meet a friend for coffee, or take an art class.\\nTry to have fun both alone and with others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try new things because they make you seem intriguing.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone because bravery is sexy. Challenge yourself to do new things, like going to a new restaurant or rock climbing. This will make people view you as confident and exciting, which are sexy qualities.\\nAt the start of every year, make a list of new things you want to try. Then, try to check off 1 or 2 every month.\\nWhen someone suggests a new thing, be the first to volunteer to try it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be kind because it draws people to you.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s simple, being nice to people goes a long way. It makes people see you as an appealing person, which can translate to sexiness. Always treat people well and offer compliments when you have something nice to say.\\nTry to give at least 1 compliment a day. You might say, “That color looks great on you,” or “Your presentation was stellar.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show off your smarts.\", \"描述\": \"While you might think sexiness is about looks, being knowledgeable and intelligent are both viewed as sexy. Develop your mind by constantly learning new things. Then, show off that knowledge by talking about topics that interest you and sharing your skills with others.\\nYou can learn more by reading, keeping up with the news, watching documentaries, and taking classes for fun.\\nWhen you have a lot of knowledge, carrying on a conversation is easier because you have a lot to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop your sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to share and understand humor makes you more appealing to others. To improve your sense of humor, watch comedies and Stand-Up to get a feel for how jokes work. Then, practice telling funny jokes and stories to your closest friends or relatives.\\nWhen people make jokes, laugh along to show them you have a great sense of humor.\\nTaking a comedy writing or improv class can help you be a lot funnier in your daily life.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Adopt a positive attitude\", \"描述\": \"Being positive will make you more appealing to other people. To help yourself be more positive, keep a gratitude journal so you can recognize the good things in your life. Additionally, use positive affirmations like “Today is a good day” and “I’m doing awesome” to keep yourself upbeat.\\nBegin your gratitude journal by writing down 3-5 things you’re grateful for today. You might write, “Dinner with my family,” “My job,” and “Summer sunshine.” Then, add 3-5 things to your list every day. When you feel bummed, read over your gratitude journal.\\nEveryone goes through rough times, so don’t feel like you have to be happy all of the time.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with friends to seem more appealing.\", \"描述\": \"Being part of a group makes you seem popular, which makes you more alluring. When you’re out, invite friends or family members to join you. If you’re going alone, talk to the people you meet or stand close to a group so you appear to be part of it.\\nTry making small talk with the people you encounter. You might say, “Is this your first time here?” “What menu items do you recommend?” or “Are you up for a game of pool or darts?”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel crummy.\", \"描述\": \"Since being sexy is all about confidence, it's best to avoid things that threaten your self-esteem. Social media accounts that feature perfect bodies and unattainable standards may make you feel bad about yourself. To prevent this, click unfollow on accounts that bring your down. Instead, follow pages that lift you up and inspire you.\\nIt’s okay to want to change things about yourself that you don’t like. That’s how you grow as a person. However, your inspiration for change should be positive, not rooted in self-doubt.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,148 | How to Be Sexy (Skinny Guys) | 1. Finding a Style That Fits You Well
1-1. Wear slim-fit jeans.
Avoid purchasing skinny jeans that are too tight or else they could accentuate how skinny your legs are. Pants that are too baggy will also make you look smaller. Try on pants that fit tight but have a little bit of bagginess to them so you’re still comfortable.
Wear pants in a variety of colors that you feel confident about.
A pair of dark denim jeans can be a great part of a classy outfit.
1-2. Get shirts that fit well in the shoulders and chest.
Make sure your shirts fit snug across your chest so they accentuate your body. Look for shirts labeled “slim fit” so they don’t hang loosely on your body or look baggy. These shirts will help bring out your upper body and flatter your form.
Invest in a few henley shirts. They fit tight and help accentuate the male body.
Try to find brands and stores that carry clothing that fits your body type—just remember that not all brands are created equal!
1-3. Find a casual blazer to wear.
Blazers help emphasize your shoulders and give you a boxier form. Find one that doesn’t feel too tight when you cross your arms. Casual blazers can be worn with just a T-shirt underneath, or you can wear them on top of a button-up shirt for a fancier look. Blazers can help you look professional and stylish.
Look for light grey or tan colored blazers for a clean, casual look.
Make sure that your clothes fit well! Well-fitting clothing helps you look really put together and classy.
1-4. Wear multiple layers if you want to bulk up.
Start with a light undershirt, then put on a button-up shirt. Avoid shirts with double front pockets, since these could look bulky and be uncomfortable. After the buttoned shirt, put a light sweater or cardigan on over it.
If you can, put a jacket or blazer over the sweater for an added layer.
Wearing layers of clothes gives your body depth and makes you more fashionable.
1-5. Get a pair of shoes that come up to your ankle.
Invest in ankle boots so they bunch up the cuffs of your pants when you wear them. This adds to the illusion that your legs are a little bulkier and makes a unique fashion statement more eye-catching than tennis shoes.
2. Being Confident
2-1. Embrace your body type.
Be happy with your body image to make yourself more confident. Accepting how you look will make you happier and more secure. You may be your own worst critic when it comes to how you look, so surround yourself with encouraging people to help you build your own self-confidence. Being comfortable in your own skin will make you more attractive to others.
Not only will confidence in your body image make you happier about your body, but it can improve your emotions and health.
2-2. Practice good posture.
Keep your head up, shoulders back, and spine straight. Relax your other muscles and take deep slow breaths. If you sit up and walk straight, you’ll feel and appear more attractive.
To help with your posture, imagine a string pulling straight from the base of your spine to the crown of your head.
2-3. Walk with a purpose.
Increase the length of your normal stride by 6 to 8 inches (15 to 20 cm) and move confidently. When you give purpose and speed to your walk, you’ll look busier and have a sense of more power and control. When you walk with purpose, people will notice the confidence and find you attractive.
Make sure you maintain good posture as you walk.
2-4. Avoid crossing your arms or legs.
Keep your arms at your side when you’re speaking with someone so it seems that you are open. Crossing your arms or legs will make it seem like you are closed off and not accepting. Keeping an open posture will help others know you care about how they feel and they will be more confident in developing relationships with you.
If you have your arms at your side, it shows you have nothing to fear and you’re more approachable.
2-5. Maintain eye contact when you talk to someone.
If someone is looking at you while they speak, hold eye contact with them until they look away. This will help you and the other person feel more comfortable with one another and shows you care. If you want to show more interest in the person, continue to look at their face even if they look away.
Don’t make it a staring contest. Too much eye contact could be unnerving.
2-6. Smile more.
Whenever you feel positive and upbeat, try to maintain a smile. This can show you’re confident and happy during everyday situations. Even if you’re in a negative mindset, cracking a smile can help increase your mood. Happiness and confidence will make you sexier when others notice your smile.
When you find yourself frowning, try to change into a smile right away. This can help you have more positive feelings and stop negative thoughts.
2-7. Practice personal hygiene to feel more confident around others.
Make sure to brush your teeth at least twice a day and always wear deodorant. Take some extra time in the morning to wash your face, trim any facial hair, and pluck eyebrows or nose hairs. These are small things that you may have grown used to, but many people may notice.
Wear a light cologne so the smell isn’t too overwhelming.
Carry lip balm with you to help alleviate dry and cracked lips.
Consider carrying gum or breath mints throughout the day in case you have bad breath.
3. Developing Your Personality
3-1. Be true to yourself.
Be honest with how you feel, what you value, and what you desire. You don’t need to change yourself to appear sexy to other people. If you are honest and genuine in your relationships, people will find you sexy for who you are.
Make a list of the things you value and love about yourself. It will make you more confident and happier with yourself.
Practice meditation or yoga to help you be introspective and develop self-awareness.
Don’t let other people define who you are. Be happy with who you are as a person and stick to what’s important to you.
3-2. Explore your hobbies.
Continue being passionate about the things you love to do. If you like reading, keep going to bookstores, author talks, and libraries to pursue your interests. Showing that you’re passionate about something will make people be more attracted to you.
Make time in your schedule to do your hobbies. If you find yourself losing time, consider writing a to-do list for your hobbies.
3-3. Use your manners.
Make sure to say please and thank you in daily conversation. Hold the door open for people when they are entering or exiting behind you. When you’re courteous, others will take notice and be more attracted to you because of the politeness and respect you’re giving them.
Try using proper table etiquette to be respectful while you eat.
3-4. Take interest in other people.
Be respectful when people are talking to you by giving them your full attention. Put your phone away and ask inquisitive, open-ended questions to learn more about them. When you show interest in others, they’ll start showing interest in you as well.
Use their name in conversation so they know you really do care about what they say.
3-5. Keep a lighthearted sense of humor.
Don’t take everything too seriously or else you could shut people out of your life. Instead, take a moment to laugh about the little things or even the things that stress you out. This can help you manage your time and emotions better. Humor lets others know you appreciate the funny things in life and is an important element of a relationship.
Don’t make jokes at other people's expense. This could affect relationships.
Tips
Not everyone has the same interests, remember that what attracts one person will not attract everyone.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding a Style That Fits You Well\\n1-1. Wear slim-fit jeans.\\nAvoid purchasing skinny jeans that are too tight or else they could accentuate how skinny your legs are. Pants that are too baggy will also make you look smaller. Try on pants that fit tight but have a little bit of bagginess to them so you’re still comfortable.\\nWear pants in a variety of colors that you feel confident about.\\nA pair of dark denim jeans can be a great part of a classy outfit.\\n1-2. Get shirts that fit well in the shoulders and chest.\\nMake sure your shirts fit snug across your chest so they accentuate your body. Look for shirts labeled “slim fit” so they don’t hang loosely on your body or look baggy. These shirts will help bring out your upper body and flatter your form.\\nInvest in a few henley shirts. They fit tight and help accentuate the male body.\\nTry to find brands and stores that carry clothing that fits your body type—just remember that not all brands are created equal!\\n1-3. Find a casual blazer to wear.\\nBlazers help emphasize your shoulders and give you a boxier form. Find one that doesn’t feel too tight when you cross your arms. Casual blazers can be worn with just a T-shirt underneath, or you can wear them on top of a button-up shirt for a fancier look. Blazers can help you look professional and stylish.\\nLook for light grey or tan colored blazers for a clean, casual look.\\nMake sure that your clothes fit well! Well-fitting clothing helps you look really put together and classy.\\n1-4. Wear multiple layers if you want to bulk up.\\nStart with a light undershirt, then put on a button-up shirt. Avoid shirts with double front pockets, since these could look bulky and be uncomfortable. After the buttoned shirt, put a light sweater or cardigan on over it.\\nIf you can, put a jacket or blazer over the sweater for an added layer.\\nWearing layers of clothes gives your body depth and makes you more fashionable.\\n1-5. Get a pair of shoes that come up to your ankle.\\nInvest in ankle boots so they bunch up the cuffs of your pants when you wear them. This adds to the illusion that your legs are a little bulkier and makes a unique fashion statement more eye-catching than tennis shoes.\\n2. Being Confident\\n2-1. Embrace your body type.\\nBe happy with your body image to make yourself more confident. Accepting how you look will make you happier and more secure. You may be your own worst critic when it comes to how you look, so surround yourself with encouraging people to help you build your own self-confidence. Being comfortable in your own skin will make you more attractive to others.\\nNot only will confidence in your body image make you happier about your body, but it can improve your emotions and health.\\n2-2. Practice good posture.\\nKeep your head up, shoulders back, and spine straight. Relax your other muscles and take deep slow breaths. If you sit up and walk straight, you’ll feel and appear more attractive.\\nTo help with your posture, imagine a string pulling straight from the base of your spine to the crown of your head.\\n2-3. Walk with a purpose.\\nIncrease the length of your normal stride by 6 to 8 inches (15 to 20 cm) and move confidently. When you give purpose and speed to your walk, you’ll look busier and have a sense of more power and control. When you walk with purpose, people will notice the confidence and find you attractive.\\nMake sure you maintain good posture as you walk.\\n2-4. Avoid crossing your arms or legs.\\nKeep your arms at your side when you’re speaking with someone so it seems that you are open. Crossing your arms or legs will make it seem like you are closed off and not accepting. Keeping an open posture will help others know you care about how they feel and they will be more confident in developing relationships with you.\\nIf you have your arms at your side, it shows you have nothing to fear and you’re more approachable.\\n2-5. Maintain eye contact when you talk to someone.\\nIf someone is looking at you while they speak, hold eye contact with them until they look away. This will help you and the other person feel more comfortable with one another and shows you care. If you want to show more interest in the person, continue to look at their face even if they look away.\\nDon’t make it a staring contest. Too much eye contact could be unnerving.\\n2-6. Smile more.\\nWhenever you feel positive and upbeat, try to maintain a smile. This can show you’re confident and happy during everyday situations. Even if you’re in a negative mindset, cracking a smile can help increase your mood. Happiness and confidence will make you sexier when others notice your smile.\\nWhen you find yourself frowning, try to change into a smile right away. This can help you have more positive feelings and stop negative thoughts.\\n2-7. Practice personal hygiene to feel more confident around others.\\nMake sure to brush your teeth at least twice a day and always wear deodorant. Take some extra time in the morning to wash your face, trim any facial hair, and pluck eyebrows or nose hairs. These are small things that you may have grown used to, but many people may notice.\\nWear a light cologne so the smell isn’t too overwhelming.\\nCarry lip balm with you to help alleviate dry and cracked lips.\\nConsider carrying gum or breath mints throughout the day in case you have bad breath.\\n3. Developing Your Personality\\n3-1. Be true to yourself.\\nBe honest with how you feel, what you value, and what you desire. You don’t need to change yourself to appear sexy to other people. If you are honest and genuine in your relationships, people will find you sexy for who you are.\\nMake a list of the things you value and love about yourself. It will make you more confident and happier with yourself.\\nPractice meditation or yoga to help you be introspective and develop self-awareness.\\nDon’t let other people define who you are. Be happy with who you are as a person and stick to what’s important to you.\\n3-2. Explore your hobbies.\\nContinue being passionate about the things you love to do. If you like reading, keep going to bookstores, author talks, and libraries to pursue your interests. Showing that you’re passionate about something will make people be more attracted to you.\\nMake time in your schedule to do your hobbies. If you find yourself losing time, consider writing a to-do list for your hobbies.\\n3-3. Use your manners.\\nMake sure to say please and thank you in daily conversation. Hold the door open for people when they are entering or exiting behind you. When you’re courteous, others will take notice and be more attracted to you because of the politeness and respect you’re giving them.\\nTry using proper table etiquette to be respectful while you eat.\\n3-4. Take interest in other people.\\nBe respectful when people are talking to you by giving them your full attention. Put your phone away and ask inquisitive, open-ended questions to learn more about them. When you show interest in others, they’ll start showing interest in you as well.\\nUse their name in conversation so they know you really do care about what they say.\\n3-5. Keep a lighthearted sense of humor.\\nDon’t take everything too seriously or else you could shut people out of your life. Instead, take a moment to laugh about the little things or even the things that stress you out. This can help you manage your time and emotions better. Humor lets others know you appreciate the funny things in life and is an important element of a relationship.\\nDon’t make jokes at other people's expense. This could affect relationships.\\nTips\\nNot everyone has the same interests, remember that what attracts one person will not attract everyone.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you're skinny, you may think you need to be more muscular in order to attract a partner, but you can look and feel sexy no matter what body shape you have. Staying confident about your body and personality will help you feel sexier as well as appear more attractive to others. As long as you dress in flattering clothes, act confident, and be yourself, you can be sexy and skinny all in one!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding a Style That Fits You Well\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear slim-fit jeans.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid purchasing skinny jeans that are too tight or else they could accentuate how skinny your legs are. Pants that are too baggy will also make you look smaller. Try on pants that fit tight but have a little bit of bagginess to them so you’re still comfortable.\\nWear pants in a variety of colors that you feel confident about.\\nA pair of dark denim jeans can be a great part of a classy outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get shirts that fit well in the shoulders and chest.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure your shirts fit snug across your chest so they accentuate your body. Look for shirts labeled “slim fit” so they don’t hang loosely on your body or look baggy. These shirts will help bring out your upper body and flatter your form.\\nInvest in a few henley shirts. They fit tight and help accentuate the male body.\\nTry to find brands and stores that carry clothing that fits your body type—just remember that not all brands are created equal!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a casual blazer to wear.\", \"描述\": \"Blazers help emphasize your shoulders and give you a boxier form. Find one that doesn’t feel too tight when you cross your arms. Casual blazers can be worn with just a T-shirt underneath, or you can wear them on top of a button-up shirt for a fancier look. Blazers can help you look professional and stylish.\\nLook for light grey or tan colored blazers for a clean, casual look.\\nMake sure that your clothes fit well! Well-fitting clothing helps you look really put together and classy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear multiple layers if you want to bulk up.\", \"描述\": \"Start with a light undershirt, then put on a button-up shirt. Avoid shirts with double front pockets, since these could look bulky and be uncomfortable. After the buttoned shirt, put a light sweater or cardigan on over it.\\nIf you can, put a jacket or blazer over the sweater for an added layer.\\nWearing layers of clothes gives your body depth and makes you more fashionable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get a pair of shoes that come up to your ankle.\", \"描述\": \"Invest in ankle boots so they bunch up the cuffs of your pants when you wear them. This adds to the illusion that your legs are a little bulkier and makes a unique fashion statement more eye-catching than tennis shoes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Confident\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embrace your body type.\", \"描述\": \"Be happy with your body image to make yourself more confident. Accepting how you look will make you happier and more secure. You may be your own worst critic when it comes to how you look, so surround yourself with encouraging people to help you build your own self-confidence. Being comfortable in your own skin will make you more attractive to others.\\nNot only will confidence in your body image make you happier about your body, but it can improve your emotions and health.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your head up, shoulders back, and spine straight. Relax your other muscles and take deep slow breaths. If you sit up and walk straight, you’ll feel and appear more attractive.\\nTo help with your posture, imagine a string pulling straight from the base of your spine to the crown of your head.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Walk with a purpose.\", \"描述\": \"Increase the length of your normal stride by 6 to 8 inches (15 to 20 cm) and move confidently. When you give purpose and speed to your walk, you’ll look busier and have a sense of more power and control. When you walk with purpose, people will notice the confidence and find you attractive.\\nMake sure you maintain good posture as you walk.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid crossing your arms or legs.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your arms at your side when you’re speaking with someone so it seems that you are open. Crossing your arms or legs will make it seem like you are closed off and not accepting. Keeping an open posture will help others know you care about how they feel and they will be more confident in developing relationships with you.\\nIf you have your arms at your side, it shows you have nothing to fear and you’re more approachable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain eye contact when you talk to someone.\", \"描述\": \"If someone is looking at you while they speak, hold eye contact with them until they look away. This will help you and the other person feel more comfortable with one another and shows you care. If you want to show more interest in the person, continue to look at their face even if they look away.\\nDon’t make it a staring contest. Too much eye contact could be unnerving.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Smile more.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever you feel positive and upbeat, try to maintain a smile. This can show you’re confident and happy during everyday situations. Even if you’re in a negative mindset, cracking a smile can help increase your mood. Happiness and confidence will make you sexier when others notice your smile.\\nWhen you find yourself frowning, try to change into a smile right away. This can help you have more positive feelings and stop negative thoughts.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Practice personal hygiene to feel more confident around others.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to brush your teeth at least twice a day and always wear deodorant. Take some extra time in the morning to wash your face, trim any facial hair, and pluck eyebrows or nose hairs. These are small things that you may have grown used to, but many people may notice.\\nWear a light cologne so the smell isn’t too overwhelming.\\nCarry lip balm with you to help alleviate dry and cracked lips.\\nConsider carrying gum or breath mints throughout the day in case you have bad breath.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be true to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Be honest with how you feel, what you value, and what you desire. You don’t need to change yourself to appear sexy to other people. If you are honest and genuine in your relationships, people will find you sexy for who you are.\\nMake a list of the things you value and love about yourself. It will make you more confident and happier with yourself.\\nPractice meditation or yoga to help you be introspective and develop self-awareness.\\nDon’t let other people define who you are. Be happy with who you are as a person and stick to what’s important to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explore your hobbies.\", \"描述\": \"Continue being passionate about the things you love to do. If you like reading, keep going to bookstores, author talks, and libraries to pursue your interests. Showing that you’re passionate about something will make people be more attracted to you.\\nMake time in your schedule to do your hobbies. If you find yourself losing time, consider writing a to-do list for your hobbies.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use your manners.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to say please and thank you in daily conversation. Hold the door open for people when they are entering or exiting behind you. When you’re courteous, others will take notice and be more attracted to you because of the politeness and respect you’re giving them.\\nTry using proper table etiquette to be respectful while you eat.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take interest in other people.\", \"描述\": \"Be respectful when people are talking to you by giving them your full attention. Put your phone away and ask inquisitive, open-ended questions to learn more about them. When you show interest in others, they’ll start showing interest in you as well.\\nUse their name in conversation so they know you really do care about what they say.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep a lighthearted sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t take everything too seriously or else you could shut people out of your life. Instead, take a moment to laugh about the little things or even the things that stress you out. This can help you manage your time and emotions better. Humor lets others know you appreciate the funny things in life and is an important element of a relationship.\\nDon’t make jokes at other people's expense. This could affect relationships.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Not everyone has the same interests, remember that what attracts one person will not attract everyone.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,149 | How to Be Sexy and Mature (Girls) | 1. Acting More Grown Up
1-1. Observe others around you.
Find those people who you think are super mature and mimic their behavior. If you think your softball teammate is totally mature, act like her.
You’ll know you’ve “arrived” when others start reaching out to you for advice or watching how you act in a certain situation.
Relax, you will figure it out.
1-2. Take on more responsibilities.
If you are able to land and maintain a real job, people will have to begin to think of you as something other than a little kid. Don’t go crazy with the hours as you should still be focused on having fun. Find something that will bring in a little cash but allow freedom for other personal activities.
Babysitting is always a good option. Find out who needs a little help once a week and land the gig.
Think about tutoring a younger student. If you are exceptional at science, find out who needs help and put your talents to work for you. Watch everyone start to interact with you as a mature person, rather than a child.
1-3. Make friends.
You are the company you keep. This means, if your current group of friends aren’t on your level of maturity and aren’t interested in the things you now are, it’s ok to make new friends. Find the group that you mesh with best.
Be careful though as the older crowd may be involved in activities you’re not ready or comfortable with yet. It’s best to start hanging with your new friends gradually and feel them out.
1-4. Quit the whining.
Only kids complain and moan and groan about every little thing in their life. Buck up. If you want to be seen as mature, start taking responsibility for your actions and outcomes. Plus, no one wants to hear it. Mature girls are self-assured and can handle life as it comes which is what makes them so sexy.
Skip the kid-like conversation and learn to express your emotions as an older person would. Say things like, “I’m really stressed about exams right now and need a break.” Instead of, “My life is over if I don’t get this new iPad.”
2. Looking Sexy
2-1. Find your look.
There isn’t one makeup trick or a single outfit that will make you sexy, rather it’s whatever showcases the very best version of yourself.
If you love sunglasses, find a pair that highlights your super-high cheek bones.
Get compliments on your plump lips all the time? Find the perfect shade that makes them stand out.
Purchase that pair of shorts that make your long, lean legs irresistible.
2-2. Rock a new do.
Change it up a bit. Let the bangs grow out or chop them off to add a little spice to your look. You’ll feel sexy and mature the moment you leave the salon and people will notice the attitude change.
2-3. Smile!
It will make you look warm, friendly and approachable. Happy people are sexy as they look like they don’t have a care in the world.
Scientists suggest that by simply plastering a big grin across your face when stressed or nervous, will significantly reduce your heart rate and help you relax. Try it!
3. Acting Sexy
3-1. Exhibit pure confidence.
Rather than wait on others to tell you how sexy you are, create a self-acceptance all on your own. Build a positive body image by finding what you love about yourself and fine tuning your self-esteem.
Repeat a mantra to help create self-hype like Tyra Banks’ “fierceness approach.”
Excel at something like no one else. When you know you can kick butt in soccer or create moving poetry, sexiness will ooze from your pores.
3-2. Skip the words.
You can speak volumes with just body language. If you want to be sexy and mature, determine what works for you. Maybe it’s a subtly licking your lips, a cute wink or a full blown hair flip.
3-3. Walk with purpose.
You’ve seen those people that walk around the mall and people stop and stare. Go for that! It’s more of a saunter than a stroll. Perfect this sexy tactic and you’re golden.
Keep your gait short and watch your posture.
Be as natural as possible which may take some practice.
3-4. Be yourself at all times.
If you are known for your wicked sense of humor amongst friends, then don’t hold back. Perhaps you’re blessed with an IQ that’s through the roof. Either way, people will think you are sexy because you are secure in who you are and are not pretending to be someone else.
Non-conformity is hot so rock the blue hair.
4. Appealing to the Opposite Sex
4-1. Make the first move.
Everyone would like to be the object of another’s affection and attention. If you are mature and sexy, you will have no problem approaching the person you spotted from across the room and striking up a conversation.
Get creative as possible and skip the cliques unless you’re going for comedic affect.
Flattery will get you everywhere. Be direct by telling them exactly what prompted you to approach them.
4-2. Be kind.
Generosity is liberating and has a multiple positive effects. One, It proves that you aren’t self-obsessed and two, it helps someone else in need.
Give without expectations. People will see you as a phony otherwise.
4-3. Rock your natural sexiness.
Skip the globs of makeup and tight revealing get-up. They want to see your naturally sexy eyes and shape.
Always keep things age-appropriate. Though you want to be sexy and mature, you can do so without looking like a 35 year old. Your age is the best age and you only experience it once.
4-4. Tell the truth.
No need to be brutally honest or hurt someone’s feelings, but everyone wants to know where they stand in a relationship (platonic or otherwise). If the person you’re interested in asks a question, be truthful.
Use tact when doing this by softening the answer if you know it may sting. For example, lead with the positive by saying, “I think you’re an incredible person but I don’t agree with your political stance.”
Never lie about your age. Be proud of who you are right now.
Tips
Don't try too hard. Just being your sexy, confident, mature self should do it.
Remember always be confident. Confidence = Sexiness.
Never lie about your age.
Warnings
Acting sexy and mature may be lead to unwarranted attention that you are ill-equipped to handle.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting More Grown Up\\n1-1. Observe others around you.\\nFind those people who you think are super mature and mimic their behavior. If you think your softball teammate is totally mature, act like her.\\nYou’ll know you’ve “arrived” when others start reaching out to you for advice or watching how you act in a certain situation.\\nRelax, you will figure it out.\\n1-2. Take on more responsibilities.\\nIf you are able to land and maintain a real job, people will have to begin to think of you as something other than a little kid. Don’t go crazy with the hours as you should still be focused on having fun. Find something that will bring in a little cash but allow freedom for other personal activities.\\nBabysitting is always a good option. Find out who needs a little help once a week and land the gig.\\nThink about tutoring a younger student. If you are exceptional at science, find out who needs help and put your talents to work for you. Watch everyone start to interact with you as a mature person, rather than a child.\\n1-3. Make friends.\\nYou are the company you keep. This means, if your current group of friends aren’t on your level of maturity and aren’t interested in the things you now are, it’s ok to make new friends. Find the group that you mesh with best.\\nBe careful though as the older crowd may be involved in activities you’re not ready or comfortable with yet. It’s best to start hanging with your new friends gradually and feel them out.\\n1-4. Quit the whining.\\nOnly kids complain and moan and groan about every little thing in their life. Buck up. If you want to be seen as mature, start taking responsibility for your actions and outcomes. Plus, no one wants to hear it. Mature girls are self-assured and can handle life as it comes which is what makes them so sexy.\\nSkip the kid-like conversation and learn to express your emotions as an older person would. Say things like, “I’m really stressed about exams right now and need a break.” Instead of, “My life is over if I don’t get this new iPad.”\\n2. Looking Sexy\\n2-1. Find your look.\\nThere isn’t one makeup trick or a single outfit that will make you sexy, rather it’s whatever showcases the very best version of yourself.\\nIf you love sunglasses, find a pair that highlights your super-high cheek bones.\\nGet compliments on your plump lips all the time? Find the perfect shade that makes them stand out.\\nPurchase that pair of shorts that make your long, lean legs irresistible.\\n2-2. Rock a new do.\\nChange it up a bit. Let the bangs grow out or chop them off to add a little spice to your look. You’ll feel sexy and mature the moment you leave the salon and people will notice the attitude change.\\n2-3. Smile!\\nIt will make you look warm, friendly and approachable. Happy people are sexy as they look like they don’t have a care in the world.\\nScientists suggest that by simply plastering a big grin across your face when stressed or nervous, will significantly reduce your heart rate and help you relax. Try it!\\n3. Acting Sexy\\n3-1. Exhibit pure confidence.\\nRather than wait on others to tell you how sexy you are, create a self-acceptance all on your own. Build a positive body image by finding what you love about yourself and fine tuning your self-esteem.\\nRepeat a mantra to help create self-hype like Tyra Banks’ “fierceness approach.”\\nExcel at something like no one else. When you know you can kick butt in soccer or create moving poetry, sexiness will ooze from your pores.\\n3-2. Skip the words.\\nYou can speak volumes with just body language. If you want to be sexy and mature, determine what works for you. Maybe it’s a subtly licking your lips, a cute wink or a full blown hair flip.\\n3-3. Walk with purpose.\\nYou’ve seen those people that walk around the mall and people stop and stare. Go for that! It’s more of a saunter than a stroll. Perfect this sexy tactic and you’re golden.\\nKeep your gait short and watch your posture.\\nBe as natural as possible which may take some practice.\\n3-4. Be yourself at all times.\\nIf you are known for your wicked sense of humor amongst friends, then don’t hold back. Perhaps you’re blessed with an IQ that’s through the roof. Either way, people will think you are sexy because you are secure in who you are and are not pretending to be someone else.\\nNon-conformity is hot so rock the blue hair.\\n4. Appealing to the Opposite Sex\\n4-1. Make the first move.\\nEveryone would like to be the object of another’s affection and attention. If you are mature and sexy, you will have no problem approaching the person you spotted from across the room and striking up a conversation.\\nGet creative as possible and skip the cliques unless you’re going for comedic affect.\\nFlattery will get you everywhere. Be direct by telling them exactly what prompted you to approach them.\\n4-2. Be kind.\\nGenerosity is liberating and has a multiple positive effects. One, It proves that you aren’t self-obsessed and two, it helps someone else in need.\\nGive without expectations. People will see you as a phony otherwise.\\n4-3. Rock your natural sexiness.\\nSkip the globs of makeup and tight revealing get-up. They want to see your naturally sexy eyes and shape.\\nAlways keep things age-appropriate. Though you want to be sexy and mature, you can do so without looking like a 35 year old. Your age is the best age and you only experience it once.\\n4-4. Tell the truth.\\nNo need to be brutally honest or hurt someone’s feelings, but everyone wants to know where they stand in a relationship (platonic or otherwise). If the person you’re interested in asks a question, be truthful.\\nUse tact when doing this by softening the answer if you know it may sting. For example, lead with the positive by saying, “I think you’re an incredible person but I don’t agree with your political stance.”\\nNever lie about your age. Be proud of who you are right now.\\nTips\\nDon't try too hard. Just being your sexy, confident, mature self should do it.\\nRemember always be confident. Confidence = Sexiness.\\nNever lie about your age.\\nWarnings\\nActing sexy and mature may be lead to unwarranted attention that you are ill-equipped to handle.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Of course you want to be sexy and mature. It’s crossed the mind of every girl aged 13 to 15 at least a dozen times. You want people to take you seriously and find you attractive. Exhibiting authentic maturity and sexiness is an art that comes over time, but there are some things you can do now to help people begin to view you in an entirely new light.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting More Grown Up\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Observe others around you.\", \"描述\": \"Find those people who you think are super mature and mimic their behavior. If you think your softball teammate is totally mature, act like her.\\nYou’ll know you’ve “arrived” when others start reaching out to you for advice or watching how you act in a certain situation.\\nRelax, you will figure it out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take on more responsibilities.\", \"描述\": \"If you are able to land and maintain a real job, people will have to begin to think of you as something other than a little kid. Don’t go crazy with the hours as you should still be focused on having fun. Find something that will bring in a little cash but allow freedom for other personal activities.\\nBabysitting is always a good option. Find out who needs a little help once a week and land the gig.\\nThink about tutoring a younger student. If you are exceptional at science, find out who needs help and put your talents to work for you. Watch everyone start to interact with you as a mature person, rather than a child.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make friends.\", \"描述\": \"You are the company you keep. This means, if your current group of friends aren’t on your level of maturity and aren’t interested in the things you now are, it’s ok to make new friends. Find the group that you mesh with best.\\nBe careful though as the older crowd may be involved in activities you’re not ready or comfortable with yet. It’s best to start hanging with your new friends gradually and feel them out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Quit the whining.\", \"描述\": \"Only kids complain and moan and groan about every little thing in their life. Buck up. If you want to be seen as mature, start taking responsibility for your actions and outcomes. Plus, no one wants to hear it. Mature girls are self-assured and can handle life as it comes which is what makes them so sexy.\\nSkip the kid-like conversation and learn to express your emotions as an older person would. Say things like, “I’m really stressed about exams right now and need a break.” Instead of, “My life is over if I don’t get this new iPad.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Looking Sexy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find your look.\", \"描述\": \"There isn’t one makeup trick or a single outfit that will make you sexy, rather it’s whatever showcases the very best version of yourself.\\nIf you love sunglasses, find a pair that highlights your super-high cheek bones.\\nGet compliments on your plump lips all the time? Find the perfect shade that makes them stand out.\\nPurchase that pair of shorts that make your long, lean legs irresistible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Rock a new do.\", \"描述\": \"Change it up a bit. Let the bangs grow out or chop them off to add a little spice to your look. You’ll feel sexy and mature the moment you leave the salon and people will notice the attitude change.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile!\", \"描述\": \"It will make you look warm, friendly and approachable. Happy people are sexy as they look like they don’t have a care in the world.\\nScientists suggest that by simply plastering a big grin across your face when stressed or nervous, will significantly reduce your heart rate and help you relax. Try it!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acting Sexy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exhibit pure confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than wait on others to tell you how sexy you are, create a self-acceptance all on your own. Build a positive body image by finding what you love about yourself and fine tuning your self-esteem.\\nRepeat a mantra to help create self-hype like Tyra Banks’ “fierceness approach.”\\nExcel at something like no one else. When you know you can kick butt in soccer or create moving poetry, sexiness will ooze from your pores.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Skip the words.\", \"描述\": \"You can speak volumes with just body language. If you want to be sexy and mature, determine what works for you. Maybe it’s a subtly licking your lips, a cute wink or a full blown hair flip.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Walk with purpose.\", \"描述\": \"You’ve seen those people that walk around the mall and people stop and stare. Go for that! It’s more of a saunter than a stroll. Perfect this sexy tactic and you’re golden.\\nKeep your gait short and watch your posture.\\nBe as natural as possible which may take some practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be yourself at all times.\", \"描述\": \"If you are known for your wicked sense of humor amongst friends, then don’t hold back. Perhaps you’re blessed with an IQ that’s through the roof. Either way, people will think you are sexy because you are secure in who you are and are not pretending to be someone else.\\nNon-conformity is hot so rock the blue hair.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Appealing to the Opposite Sex\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make the first move.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone would like to be the object of another’s affection and attention. If you are mature and sexy, you will have no problem approaching the person you spotted from across the room and striking up a conversation.\\nGet creative as possible and skip the cliques unless you’re going for comedic affect.\\nFlattery will get you everywhere. Be direct by telling them exactly what prompted you to approach them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be kind.\", \"描述\": \"Generosity is liberating and has a multiple positive effects. One, It proves that you aren’t self-obsessed and two, it helps someone else in need.\\nGive without expectations. People will see you as a phony otherwise.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rock your natural sexiness.\", \"描述\": \"Skip the globs of makeup and tight revealing get-up. They want to see your naturally sexy eyes and shape.\\nAlways keep things age-appropriate. Though you want to be sexy and mature, you can do so without looking like a 35 year old. Your age is the best age and you only experience it once.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell the truth.\", \"描述\": \"No need to be brutally honest or hurt someone’s feelings, but everyone wants to know where they stand in a relationship (platonic or otherwise). If the person you’re interested in asks a question, be truthful.\\nUse tact when doing this by softening the answer if you know it may sting. For example, lead with the positive by saying, “I think you’re an incredible person but I don’t agree with your political stance.”\\nNever lie about your age. Be proud of who you are right now.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't try too hard. Just being your sexy, confident, mature self should do it.\\n\", \"Remember always be confident. Confidence = Sexiness.\\n\", \"Never lie about your age.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Acting sexy and mature may be lead to unwarranted attention that you are ill-equipped to handle.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,150 | How to Be Sexy but Classy | 1. Dressing Sexy But Classy
1-1. Don’t bare it all.
While it’s important to be confident in your body, leaving something to the imagination can go a long way. Showing only one section of your body at a time is sexy and classy.
For example, if you want to highlight your chest, cover up your legs and midriff. Or if you’re proud of your belly, and want to show it off, wear an outfit that highlights your midriff, but doesn’t also expose your hips or chest.
This rule applies to both men and women, as too much chest or leg on either sex can kill the class.
1-2. Create balanced looks.
This means putting together outfits that focus on one sexy area.
For women, this could mean revealing your legs in a flirty mini skirt or a pair of shorts, and wearing a top that has longer sleeves or a blouse that isn’t cut too low. You can then pair this look with a fitted jacket and a loose coat.
A little black dress, with a statement necklace or a simple pair of earrings, is a timeless, classy look.
For men, a balanced look could mean wearing a collared shirt that is slightly unbuttoned at the top, with an undershirt and form fitting pants. Or, a pair of long shorts and a simple t-shirt.
Men should avoid exposing their chest hair as this is neither sexy nor classy.
1-3. Be creative with color.
A great way to display confidence and sophistication is to come up with appealing color combinations in your outfits.
Pick colors based on your skin tone. Jewel tones like purple and dark green look great on cool skin tones. Metallics and neon look great on warm skin tones. And bold, bright colors look great on neutral skin tones.
1-4. Define your waistline.
Defining your waistline is a great way to show off your figure, without showing any skin.
Women can do this with a thin belt over a dress or a top that tucks in at the waist. If you decide to wear a flowy top, pair it with a form fitting bottom like a skirt or a pair of black leggings.
Men can do this by tucking in their shirt into their jeans or pants and wearing a subtle leather belt.
1-5. Groom yourself.
Nothing is more classy and sexy than someone who puts in the effort to maintain their appearance.
Women should shave their legs if they’re going to be wearing skirts and shorts. As well, a manicure, whether done at home or at a nail salon, will show you care about your appearance and have good hygiene.
Men should keep their beards trimmed and clean looking. A nice spritz of cologne will add a touch of class to even the most casual outfit.
2. Acting Sexy But Classy
2-1. Maintain good posture.
Being sexy but classy is about more than just the clothes you wear. It’s about how you walk and present yourself to others. So avoid slouching or sitting down in a heap. This doesn’t present a very confident, classy demeanor. Focus on maintaining good posture so you can seem attractive and sophisticated.
Do this by practicing good posture when you are seated. Keep your feet flat on the floor. Avoid crossing your legs. Keep your ankles in front of your knees. Roll your shoulders down and relax them. There should be a small gap between the back of your knees and the front of your seat.
You should also practice good posture when you are standing. Stand straight and tall with your shoulders pulled back. Keep your legs shoulder-width apart and your knees slightly bent. Bear your weight mostly on the balls of your feet. Let your arms hang naturally at your sides and keep your head level with your shoulders.
2-2. Mind your manners.
Displaying good manners shows others you have a sense of class. There are two types of manners, greeting manners and dining manners.
Greeting manners are a way to show others how polite and considerate you can be. Do not talk during a movie or show. Say “excuse me” if you bump into someone and “bless you” if someone sneezes. Avoid interrupting someone when they are speaking.
During a conversation, it’s also good manners to introduce yourself to someone by name, and answer any questions with positivity and a smile. End the conversation by telling the person it was lovely to meet them, and if possible, say goodbye to them by name.
Dining manners are also sure signs of a class act. Always say “please”, “thank you”, “bless you”, and “excuse me”. Only start eating once the host as sat down at the table and keep your mouth closed when you chew. Keep your elbows off the table and don’t blow your nose or burp during dinner. Compliment the cook if you are a guest.
2-3. Don’t create drama.
This means not airing out your issues in public or creating a conflict with others. Avoid acting on impulse. Think before you act and focus on deflecting or discouraging drama between you and others.
In the moment, try to downplay any drama and move on. This will show that you are able to handle any conflicts with grace. React later, in private, and discuss the issue directly with the person. Causing a scene will only lead to an awkward situation. Show how classy you can be by leaving the drama at home.
2-4. Flirt with confidence.
Don't be afraid project self confidence when you're flirting in person and over text. But don't be too forward or in your face. Try to strike a balance between friendly and easy going.
Look the person in the eye, give them a smile, and say "Hi" or "How's it going?"
Start the conversation with a compliment, like "Oh, I love your cologne" or "I really like your sunglasses."
Once you find out their name in the conversation, use it often. It will make the other person feel acknowledged and singled out by you in a classy but sexy way.
Avoid talking too much about yourself. Show genuine interest in the other person and ask them follow up questions to keep the conversation going.
End the conversation with a bit of mystery. The saying, "leave them wanting more" rings true for flirting. Cut the chat short by saying "This has been fun, but I have to head out." Or, "Sorry to cut this short, but look at the time. I have to be going."
Always say "goodbye" or "I hope to see you again soon" so the conversation ends on a classy note.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dressing Sexy But Classy\\n1-1. Don’t bare it all.\\nWhile it’s important to be confident in your body, leaving something to the imagination can go a long way. Showing only one section of your body at a time is sexy and classy.\\nFor example, if you want to highlight your chest, cover up your legs and midriff. Or if you’re proud of your belly, and want to show it off, wear an outfit that highlights your midriff, but doesn’t also expose your hips or chest.\\nThis rule applies to both men and women, as too much chest or leg on either sex can kill the class.\\n1-2. Create balanced looks.\\nThis means putting together outfits that focus on one sexy area.\\nFor women, this could mean revealing your legs in a flirty mini skirt or a pair of shorts, and wearing a top that has longer sleeves or a blouse that isn’t cut too low. You can then pair this look with a fitted jacket and a loose coat.\\nA little black dress, with a statement necklace or a simple pair of earrings, is a timeless, classy look.\\nFor men, a balanced look could mean wearing a collared shirt that is slightly unbuttoned at the top, with an undershirt and form fitting pants. Or, a pair of long shorts and a simple t-shirt.\\nMen should avoid exposing their chest hair as this is neither sexy nor classy.\\n1-3. Be creative with color.\\nA great way to display confidence and sophistication is to come up with appealing color combinations in your outfits.\\nPick colors based on your skin tone. Jewel tones like purple and dark green look great on cool skin tones. Metallics and neon look great on warm skin tones. And bold, bright colors look great on neutral skin tones.\\n1-4. Define your waistline.\\nDefining your waistline is a great way to show off your figure, without showing any skin. \\nWomen can do this with a thin belt over a dress or a top that tucks in at the waist. If you decide to wear a flowy top, pair it with a form fitting bottom like a skirt or a pair of black leggings.\\nMen can do this by tucking in their shirt into their jeans or pants and wearing a subtle leather belt.\\n1-5. Groom yourself.\\nNothing is more classy and sexy than someone who puts in the effort to maintain their appearance. \\nWomen should shave their legs if they’re going to be wearing skirts and shorts. As well, a manicure, whether done at home or at a nail salon, will show you care about your appearance and have good hygiene.\\nMen should keep their beards trimmed and clean looking. A nice spritz of cologne will add a touch of class to even the most casual outfit.\\n2. Acting Sexy But Classy\\n2-1. Maintain good posture.\\nBeing sexy but classy is about more than just the clothes you wear. It’s about how you walk and present yourself to others. So avoid slouching or sitting down in a heap. This doesn’t present a very confident, classy demeanor. Focus on maintaining good posture so you can seem attractive and sophisticated.\\nDo this by practicing good posture when you are seated. Keep your feet flat on the floor. Avoid crossing your legs. Keep your ankles in front of your knees. Roll your shoulders down and relax them. There should be a small gap between the back of your knees and the front of your seat.\\nYou should also practice good posture when you are standing. Stand straight and tall with your shoulders pulled back. Keep your legs shoulder-width apart and your knees slightly bent. Bear your weight mostly on the balls of your feet. Let your arms hang naturally at your sides and keep your head level with your shoulders.\\n2-2. Mind your manners.\\nDisplaying good manners shows others you have a sense of class. There are two types of manners, greeting manners and dining manners.\\nGreeting manners are a way to show others how polite and considerate you can be. Do not talk during a movie or show. Say “excuse me” if you bump into someone and “bless you” if someone sneezes. Avoid interrupting someone when they are speaking.\\nDuring a conversation, it’s also good manners to introduce yourself to someone by name, and answer any questions with positivity and a smile. End the conversation by telling the person it was lovely to meet them, and if possible, say goodbye to them by name.\\nDining manners are also sure signs of a class act. Always say “please”, “thank you”, “bless you”, and “excuse me”. Only start eating once the host as sat down at the table and keep your mouth closed when you chew. Keep your elbows off the table and don’t blow your nose or burp during dinner. Compliment the cook if you are a guest.\\n2-3. Don’t create drama.\\nThis means not airing out your issues in public or creating a conflict with others. Avoid acting on impulse. Think before you act and focus on deflecting or discouraging drama between you and others.\\nIn the moment, try to downplay any drama and move on. This will show that you are able to handle any conflicts with grace. React later, in private, and discuss the issue directly with the person. Causing a scene will only lead to an awkward situation. Show how classy you can be by leaving the drama at home.\\n2-4. Flirt with confidence.\\nDon't be afraid project self confidence when you're flirting in person and over text. But don't be too forward or in your face. Try to strike a balance between friendly and easy going. \\nLook the person in the eye, give them a smile, and say \\\"Hi\\\" or \\\"How's it going?\\\"\\nStart the conversation with a compliment, like \\\"Oh, I love your cologne\\\" or \\\"I really like your sunglasses.\\\"\\nOnce you find out their name in the conversation, use it often. It will make the other person feel acknowledged and singled out by you in a classy but sexy way.\\nAvoid talking too much about yourself. Show genuine interest in the other person and ask them follow up questions to keep the conversation going.\\nEnd the conversation with a bit of mystery. The saying, \\\"leave them wanting more\\\" rings true for flirting. Cut the chat short by saying \\\"This has been fun, but I have to head out.\\\" Or, \\\"Sorry to cut this short, but look at the time. I have to be going.\\\"\\nAlways say \\\"goodbye\\\" or \\\"I hope to see you again soon\\\" so the conversation ends on a classy note.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The definition of “sexy” is: “having sexually appealing or interesting qualities.” And the definition of “classy” is: “having qualities that make someone or something special and attractive.” Clearly, the two words have very similar definitions. So while most people view sexy and classy as two very different qualities, it is very possible to be sexy but classy at the same time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dressing Sexy But Classy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t bare it all.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s important to be confident in your body, leaving something to the imagination can go a long way. Showing only one section of your body at a time is sexy and classy.\\nFor example, if you want to highlight your chest, cover up your legs and midriff. Or if you’re proud of your belly, and want to show it off, wear an outfit that highlights your midriff, but doesn’t also expose your hips or chest.\\nThis rule applies to both men and women, as too much chest or leg on either sex can kill the class.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create balanced looks.\", \"描述\": \"This means putting together outfits that focus on one sexy area.\\nFor women, this could mean revealing your legs in a flirty mini skirt or a pair of shorts, and wearing a top that has longer sleeves or a blouse that isn’t cut too low. You can then pair this look with a fitted jacket and a loose coat.\\nA little black dress, with a statement necklace or a simple pair of earrings, is a timeless, classy look.\\nFor men, a balanced look could mean wearing a collared shirt that is slightly unbuttoned at the top, with an undershirt and form fitting pants. Or, a pair of long shorts and a simple t-shirt.\\nMen should avoid exposing their chest hair as this is neither sexy nor classy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be creative with color.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to display confidence and sophistication is to come up with appealing color combinations in your outfits.\\nPick colors based on your skin tone. Jewel tones like purple and dark green look great on cool skin tones. Metallics and neon look great on warm skin tones. And bold, bright colors look great on neutral skin tones.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Define your waistline.\", \"描述\": \"Defining your waistline is a great way to show off your figure, without showing any skin. \\nWomen can do this with a thin belt over a dress or a top that tucks in at the waist. If you decide to wear a flowy top, pair it with a form fitting bottom like a skirt or a pair of black leggings.\\nMen can do this by tucking in their shirt into their jeans or pants and wearing a subtle leather belt.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Groom yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Nothing is more classy and sexy than someone who puts in the effort to maintain their appearance. \\nWomen should shave their legs if they’re going to be wearing skirts and shorts. As well, a manicure, whether done at home or at a nail salon, will show you care about your appearance and have good hygiene.\\nMen should keep their beards trimmed and clean looking. A nice spritz of cologne will add a touch of class to even the most casual outfit.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Sexy But Classy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Being sexy but classy is about more than just the clothes you wear. It’s about how you walk and present yourself to others. So avoid slouching or sitting down in a heap. This doesn’t present a very confident, classy demeanor. Focus on maintaining good posture so you can seem attractive and sophisticated.\\nDo this by practicing good posture when you are seated. Keep your feet flat on the floor. Avoid crossing your legs. Keep your ankles in front of your knees. Roll your shoulders down and relax them. There should be a small gap between the back of your knees and the front of your seat.\\nYou should also practice good posture when you are standing. Stand straight and tall with your shoulders pulled back. Keep your legs shoulder-width apart and your knees slightly bent. Bear your weight mostly on the balls of your feet. Let your arms hang naturally at your sides and keep your head level with your shoulders.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mind your manners.\", \"描述\": \"Displaying good manners shows others you have a sense of class. There are two types of manners, greeting manners and dining manners.\\nGreeting manners are a way to show others how polite and considerate you can be. Do not talk during a movie or show. Say “excuse me” if you bump into someone and “bless you” if someone sneezes. Avoid interrupting someone when they are speaking.\\nDuring a conversation, it’s also good manners to introduce yourself to someone by name, and answer any questions with positivity and a smile. End the conversation by telling the person it was lovely to meet them, and if possible, say goodbye to them by name.\\nDining manners are also sure signs of a class act. Always say “please”, “thank you”, “bless you”, and “excuse me”. Only start eating once the host as sat down at the table and keep your mouth closed when you chew. Keep your elbows off the table and don’t blow your nose or burp during dinner. Compliment the cook if you are a guest.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t create drama.\", \"描述\": \"This means not airing out your issues in public or creating a conflict with others. Avoid acting on impulse. Think before you act and focus on deflecting or discouraging drama between you and others.\\nIn the moment, try to downplay any drama and move on. This will show that you are able to handle any conflicts with grace. React later, in private, and discuss the issue directly with the person. Causing a scene will only lead to an awkward situation. Show how classy you can be by leaving the drama at home.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flirt with confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be afraid project self confidence when you're flirting in person and over text. But don't be too forward or in your face. Try to strike a balance between friendly and easy going. \\nLook the person in the eye, give them a smile, and say \\\"Hi\\\" or \\\"How's it going?\\\"\\nStart the conversation with a compliment, like \\\"Oh, I love your cologne\\\" or \\\"I really like your sunglasses.\\\"\\nOnce you find out their name in the conversation, use it often. It will make the other person feel acknowledged and singled out by you in a classy but sexy way.\\nAvoid talking too much about yourself. Show genuine interest in the other person and ask them follow up questions to keep the conversation going.\\nEnd the conversation with a bit of mystery. The saying, \\\"leave them wanting more\\\" rings true for flirting. Cut the chat short by saying \\\"This has been fun, but I have to head out.\\\" Or, \\\"Sorry to cut this short, but look at the time. I have to be going.\\\"\\nAlways say \\\"goodbye\\\" or \\\"I hope to see you again soon\\\" so the conversation ends on a classy note.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,151 | How to Be Shy at School | 1. Acting Shy
1-1. Be meek.
To be meek means to be quiet, or to have a kind of gentle demeanor. Even though these are traits of a shy person, they can also be good qualities to possess. Meekness can lend itself to approachability, which can actually make you appear more marketable during things like job interviews in the future. Keep to yourself, especially if there is any kind of drama going on. Be humble and kind, and don’t let your ego get inflated.
Even if your goal is to keep people at a distance and not interact much with others, it still pays to practice being approachable for the future when it will pay off in your favor.
1-2. Avoid speaking too much.
In class, you might sit closer to the back of the room and keep to yourself. Avoid raising your hand and volunteering during class discussions. If people are hanging out and talking in the hall, don’t join in. The less you speak up, the more shy you’ll appear.
Don’t let acting shy make you also appear rude. Don’t blatantly ignore someone if they speak to you, especially if it’s a teacher or person of authority.
1-3. Avoid participating at events or activities outside school.
Shy people tend to stay away from social situations. Shy people can be socially awkward sometimes, and gathering in groups can be a source of anxiety. You can choose to not attend these events, but if you do go, keep to yourself at them. Sit quietly by yourself. You could bring a book to read or play on your phone. This will make you appear shy.
Events like parties, pep rallies, and sporting events are usually full of people being loud and crazy, so if you want to appear shy, you’ll want to act the opposite.
1-4. Let other people start conversations.
Shy people have trouble initiating conversations. If you want to act shy, don’t approach people and start conversations. Let others talk first, whether one-on-one or in groups.
Shy people also have trouble keeping conversations going. Keep your conversations short and to the point.
1-5. Keep a small circle of friends.
Since many shy people have difficulty getting close with people, try to only keep a few good friends that you spend time with regularly. Having a huge group of friends might make you come off as a popular or outgoing person, which isn’t really what you’re going for.
Feel free to act more like yourself around these close friends. Just because you want to act shy at school doesn’t mean you’ll want to cut yourself off from having any meaningful relationships at all.
1-6. Keep a book with you at school.
Keeping your nose in a book when you’re in social situations can help you appear shy. It will make you look studious, rather than just socially awkward sitting there silently doing nothing. If you keep a novel with you to read at lunchtime, for example, it can help you keep to yourself.
1-7. Keep to yourself in class.
As mentioned, you’ll want to avoid participating in class discussions, and only answer if the teacher calls on you directly. If the class breaks up to do group work, hang back on your own and do your own work. If you must be part of a group, do your work quietly and keep your eyes down on your paper.
Don’t avoid speaking to the teacher if they call on you. You don’t want to end up getting scolded or in trouble because you are acting shy.
2. Dressing the Part
2-1. Wear muted or neutral colors.
Rather than wearing bright or neon colors, wear lighter, more neutral tones. These tones are usually black, white, shades of brown, or even gray. These colors are far less likely to stand out in a crowd. Shy people want to blend in rather than stand out, so neutral clothing colors are a way to do that.
The advantage to stocking your closet with neutrals is that they are great universal colors. On days you want to stand out a little more, or maybe when you’re outside of school, these neutrals will pair well with brighter colors in outfits.
2-2. Avoid wearing flashy prints.
Again, the goal is to blend in rather than stand out. Loud or flashy prints on your clothing don’t do a very good job at helping you blend in. Try to stick to solid colors, or simple prints like horizontal stripes. Consider avoiding t-shirts with logos, band names, or any other writing. These things could act as conversation starters, or reasons for strangers to approach you and ask about what’s printed on your shirt.
2-3. Wear simple outfits.
Keep your hemlines modest, and try not to show too much skin. Try comfortable cardigans, simple jeans, and plain shoes. Try to avoid layering on accessories like costume jewelry. If you wear makeup, keep it to a minimum. Stick to neutral and natural colors.
Fashion is a quick way to draw attention to yourself. From the colors and prints of your clothing to how you style it, it’s best to always lean towards the muted, and subtle side of things when trying to act shy.
2-4. Keep a simple, traditional hairstyle.
If you’re trying to blend in, dying your hair bright pink or putting it in a mohawk won’t really help your case. Keep your haircut simple and traditional, like a bob for girls or a simple crew cut for guys. Anything that doesn’t really stand out is a good option.
You still want to feel comfortable and good about yourself, so you’ll still want to pick a hairstyle you actually like!
2-5. Keep it modest.
If you’re trying to act shy in a way that makes you come across as cute, then you’ll want to make sure the clothes you choose are modest. A cute, shy person wouldn’t wear revealing clothing. This kind of clothing would end up drawing attention to you rather than diverting it. A shy person in modest clothing can appear cute, approachable, and innocent.
3. Using Body Language
3-1. Avoid too much eye contact.
When walking in the hallways, making eye contact, especially with people you know, could result in them starting a conversation. A shy person will want to avoid this. Keep your eye contact to a minimum so you can keep to yourself. Not looking at people is a sign to them that you aren’t interested in talking or interacting.
If you’re at lunch and want to be left alone, consider reading a book or doing homework. This way, you won’t find yourself looking around and end up inviting attention or unwanted conversation.
3-2. Keep some distance between yourself and other people.
Even in crowded school hallways, try to keep to yourself physically. Shy people are sometimes made anxious by being physically close to other people. By keeping some distance between yourself and others, you’ll also be sending the message that you don’t want to interact with them.
If you are talking to someone, don’t stand close. Keep a few feet between your bodies. This will send a signal to the other person that you’re ready to leave at any moment, and they might end the conversation sooner.
3-3. Fold your arms.
Folding your arms across your body is a defensive signal in body language. It’s sort of like you’re trying to protect yourself from the outside world, which is exactly what a shy person would do. Folded arms generally mean someone doesn’t want to be approached.
Remember: you’re trying to look shy, not bold or irritated. Fold your arms loosely, sort of like you’re giving yourself a hug, rather than folding them tightly and looking assertive. Keeping your shoulders a bit slouched and your head down will also help.
Tips
Remember not to let your shyness come off as rudeness when interacting with others.
Try speaking a bit more softly when talking with others.
When someone asks you a question, just nod instead of talking.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting Shy\\n1-1. Be meek.\\nTo be meek means to be quiet, or to have a kind of gentle demeanor. Even though these are traits of a shy person, they can also be good qualities to possess. Meekness can lend itself to approachability, which can actually make you appear more marketable during things like job interviews in the future. Keep to yourself, especially if there is any kind of drama going on. Be humble and kind, and don’t let your ego get inflated.\\nEven if your goal is to keep people at a distance and not interact much with others, it still pays to practice being approachable for the future when it will pay off in your favor.\\n1-2. Avoid speaking too much.\\nIn class, you might sit closer to the back of the room and keep to yourself. Avoid raising your hand and volunteering during class discussions. If people are hanging out and talking in the hall, don’t join in. The less you speak up, the more shy you’ll appear.\\nDon’t let acting shy make you also appear rude. Don’t blatantly ignore someone if they speak to you, especially if it’s a teacher or person of authority.\\n1-3. Avoid participating at events or activities outside school.\\nShy people tend to stay away from social situations. Shy people can be socially awkward sometimes, and gathering in groups can be a source of anxiety. You can choose to not attend these events, but if you do go, keep to yourself at them. Sit quietly by yourself. You could bring a book to read or play on your phone. This will make you appear shy. \\nEvents like parties, pep rallies, and sporting events are usually full of people being loud and crazy, so if you want to appear shy, you’ll want to act the opposite.\\n1-4. Let other people start conversations.\\nShy people have trouble initiating conversations. If you want to act shy, don’t approach people and start conversations. Let others talk first, whether one-on-one or in groups. \\nShy people also have trouble keeping conversations going. Keep your conversations short and to the point.\\n1-5. Keep a small circle of friends.\\nSince many shy people have difficulty getting close with people, try to only keep a few good friends that you spend time with regularly. Having a huge group of friends might make you come off as a popular or outgoing person, which isn’t really what you’re going for. \\nFeel free to act more like yourself around these close friends. Just because you want to act shy at school doesn’t mean you’ll want to cut yourself off from having any meaningful relationships at all.\\n1-6. Keep a book with you at school.\\nKeeping your nose in a book when you’re in social situations can help you appear shy. It will make you look studious, rather than just socially awkward sitting there silently doing nothing. If you keep a novel with you to read at lunchtime, for example, it can help you keep to yourself.\\n1-7. Keep to yourself in class.\\nAs mentioned, you’ll want to avoid participating in class discussions, and only answer if the teacher calls on you directly. If the class breaks up to do group work, hang back on your own and do your own work. If you must be part of a group, do your work quietly and keep your eyes down on your paper.\\nDon’t avoid speaking to the teacher if they call on you. You don’t want to end up getting scolded or in trouble because you are acting shy.\\n2. Dressing the Part\\n2-1. Wear muted or neutral colors.\\nRather than wearing bright or neon colors, wear lighter, more neutral tones. These tones are usually black, white, shades of brown, or even gray. These colors are far less likely to stand out in a crowd. Shy people want to blend in rather than stand out, so neutral clothing colors are a way to do that.\\nThe advantage to stocking your closet with neutrals is that they are great universal colors. On days you want to stand out a little more, or maybe when you’re outside of school, these neutrals will pair well with brighter colors in outfits.\\n2-2. Avoid wearing flashy prints.\\nAgain, the goal is to blend in rather than stand out. Loud or flashy prints on your clothing don’t do a very good job at helping you blend in. Try to stick to solid colors, or simple prints like horizontal stripes. Consider avoiding t-shirts with logos, band names, or any other writing. These things could act as conversation starters, or reasons for strangers to approach you and ask about what’s printed on your shirt.\\n2-3. Wear simple outfits.\\nKeep your hemlines modest, and try not to show too much skin. Try comfortable cardigans, simple jeans, and plain shoes. Try to avoid layering on accessories like costume jewelry. If you wear makeup, keep it to a minimum. Stick to neutral and natural colors.\\nFashion is a quick way to draw attention to yourself. From the colors and prints of your clothing to how you style it, it’s best to always lean towards the muted, and subtle side of things when trying to act shy.\\n2-4. Keep a simple, traditional hairstyle.\\nIf you’re trying to blend in, dying your hair bright pink or putting it in a mohawk won’t really help your case. Keep your haircut simple and traditional, like a bob for girls or a simple crew cut for guys. Anything that doesn’t really stand out is a good option.\\nYou still want to feel comfortable and good about yourself, so you’ll still want to pick a hairstyle you actually like!\\n2-5. Keep it modest.\\nIf you’re trying to act shy in a way that makes you come across as cute, then you’ll want to make sure the clothes you choose are modest. A cute, shy person wouldn’t wear revealing clothing. This kind of clothing would end up drawing attention to you rather than diverting it. A shy person in modest clothing can appear cute, approachable, and innocent.\\n3. Using Body Language\\n3-1. Avoid too much eye contact.\\nWhen walking in the hallways, making eye contact, especially with people you know, could result in them starting a conversation. A shy person will want to avoid this. Keep your eye contact to a minimum so you can keep to yourself. Not looking at people is a sign to them that you aren’t interested in talking or interacting.\\nIf you’re at lunch and want to be left alone, consider reading a book or doing homework. This way, you won’t find yourself looking around and end up inviting attention or unwanted conversation.\\n3-2. Keep some distance between yourself and other people.\\nEven in crowded school hallways, try to keep to yourself physically. Shy people are sometimes made anxious by being physically close to other people. By keeping some distance between yourself and others, you’ll also be sending the message that you don’t want to interact with them.\\nIf you are talking to someone, don’t stand close. Keep a few feet between your bodies. This will send a signal to the other person that you’re ready to leave at any moment, and they might end the conversation sooner.\\n3-3. Fold your arms.\\nFolding your arms across your body is a defensive signal in body language. It’s sort of like you’re trying to protect yourself from the outside world, which is exactly what a shy person would do. Folded arms generally mean someone doesn’t want to be approached.\\nRemember: you’re trying to look shy, not bold or irritated. Fold your arms loosely, sort of like you’re giving yourself a hug, rather than folding them tightly and looking assertive. Keeping your shoulders a bit slouched and your head down will also help.\\nTips\\nRemember not to let your shyness come off as rudeness when interacting with others.\\nTry speaking a bit more softly when talking with others.\\nWhen someone asks you a question, just nod instead of talking.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes at school, you just want to be left alone. Acting shy is a good way to avoid too much extra interaction with other people at school, without coming off as rude. Taking on some shy behaviors, dressing a bit more subtly, and using body language are all ways to act shy at school.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting Shy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be meek.\", \"描述\": \"To be meek means to be quiet, or to have a kind of gentle demeanor. Even though these are traits of a shy person, they can also be good qualities to possess. Meekness can lend itself to approachability, which can actually make you appear more marketable during things like job interviews in the future. Keep to yourself, especially if there is any kind of drama going on. Be humble and kind, and don’t let your ego get inflated.\\nEven if your goal is to keep people at a distance and not interact much with others, it still pays to practice being approachable for the future when it will pay off in your favor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid speaking too much.\", \"描述\": \"In class, you might sit closer to the back of the room and keep to yourself. Avoid raising your hand and volunteering during class discussions. If people are hanging out and talking in the hall, don’t join in. The less you speak up, the more shy you’ll appear.\\nDon’t let acting shy make you also appear rude. Don’t blatantly ignore someone if they speak to you, especially if it’s a teacher or person of authority.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid participating at events or activities outside school.\", \"描述\": \"Shy people tend to stay away from social situations. Shy people can be socially awkward sometimes, and gathering in groups can be a source of anxiety. You can choose to not attend these events, but if you do go, keep to yourself at them. Sit quietly by yourself. You could bring a book to read or play on your phone. This will make you appear shy. \\nEvents like parties, pep rallies, and sporting events are usually full of people being loud and crazy, so if you want to appear shy, you’ll want to act the opposite.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let other people start conversations.\", \"描述\": \"Shy people have trouble initiating conversations. If you want to act shy, don’t approach people and start conversations. Let others talk first, whether one-on-one or in groups. \\nShy people also have trouble keeping conversations going. Keep your conversations short and to the point.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep a small circle of friends.\", \"描述\": \"Since many shy people have difficulty getting close with people, try to only keep a few good friends that you spend time with regularly. Having a huge group of friends might make you come off as a popular or outgoing person, which isn’t really what you’re going for. \\nFeel free to act more like yourself around these close friends. Just because you want to act shy at school doesn’t mean you’ll want to cut yourself off from having any meaningful relationships at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep a book with you at school.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping your nose in a book when you’re in social situations can help you appear shy. It will make you look studious, rather than just socially awkward sitting there silently doing nothing. If you keep a novel with you to read at lunchtime, for example, it can help you keep to yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep to yourself in class.\", \"描述\": \"As mentioned, you’ll want to avoid participating in class discussions, and only answer if the teacher calls on you directly. If the class breaks up to do group work, hang back on your own and do your own work. If you must be part of a group, do your work quietly and keep your eyes down on your paper.\\nDon’t avoid speaking to the teacher if they call on you. You don’t want to end up getting scolded or in trouble because you are acting shy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dressing the Part\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear muted or neutral colors.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than wearing bright or neon colors, wear lighter, more neutral tones. These tones are usually black, white, shades of brown, or even gray. These colors are far less likely to stand out in a crowd. Shy people want to blend in rather than stand out, so neutral clothing colors are a way to do that.\\nThe advantage to stocking your closet with neutrals is that they are great universal colors. On days you want to stand out a little more, or maybe when you’re outside of school, these neutrals will pair well with brighter colors in outfits.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid wearing flashy prints.\", \"描述\": \"Again, the goal is to blend in rather than stand out. Loud or flashy prints on your clothing don’t do a very good job at helping you blend in. Try to stick to solid colors, or simple prints like horizontal stripes. Consider avoiding t-shirts with logos, band names, or any other writing. These things could act as conversation starters, or reasons for strangers to approach you and ask about what’s printed on your shirt.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear simple outfits.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your hemlines modest, and try not to show too much skin. Try comfortable cardigans, simple jeans, and plain shoes. Try to avoid layering on accessories like costume jewelry. If you wear makeup, keep it to a minimum. Stick to neutral and natural colors.\\nFashion is a quick way to draw attention to yourself. From the colors and prints of your clothing to how you style it, it’s best to always lean towards the muted, and subtle side of things when trying to act shy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a simple, traditional hairstyle.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re trying to blend in, dying your hair bright pink or putting it in a mohawk won’t really help your case. Keep your haircut simple and traditional, like a bob for girls or a simple crew cut for guys. Anything that doesn’t really stand out is a good option.\\nYou still want to feel comfortable and good about yourself, so you’ll still want to pick a hairstyle you actually like!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep it modest.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re trying to act shy in a way that makes you come across as cute, then you’ll want to make sure the clothes you choose are modest. A cute, shy person wouldn’t wear revealing clothing. This kind of clothing would end up drawing attention to you rather than diverting it. A shy person in modest clothing can appear cute, approachable, and innocent.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid too much eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"When walking in the hallways, making eye contact, especially with people you know, could result in them starting a conversation. A shy person will want to avoid this. Keep your eye contact to a minimum so you can keep to yourself. Not looking at people is a sign to them that you aren’t interested in talking or interacting.\\nIf you’re at lunch and want to be left alone, consider reading a book or doing homework. This way, you won’t find yourself looking around and end up inviting attention or unwanted conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep some distance between yourself and other people.\", \"描述\": \"Even in crowded school hallways, try to keep to yourself physically. Shy people are sometimes made anxious by being physically close to other people. By keeping some distance between yourself and others, you’ll also be sending the message that you don’t want to interact with them.\\nIf you are talking to someone, don’t stand close. Keep a few feet between your bodies. This will send a signal to the other person that you’re ready to leave at any moment, and they might end the conversation sooner.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fold your arms.\", \"描述\": \"Folding your arms across your body is a defensive signal in body language. It’s sort of like you’re trying to protect yourself from the outside world, which is exactly what a shy person would do. Folded arms generally mean someone doesn’t want to be approached.\\nRemember: you’re trying to look shy, not bold or irritated. Fold your arms loosely, sort of like you’re giving yourself a hug, rather than folding them tightly and looking assertive. Keeping your shoulders a bit slouched and your head down will also help.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember not to let your shyness come off as rudeness when interacting with others.\\n\", \"Try speaking a bit more softly when talking with others.\\n\", \"When someone asks you a question, just nod instead of talking.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,152 | How to Be Silly | 1. Looking the Part
1-1. Put on a wild outfit.
Dressing up is a great way to put yourself in a silly mood. Look for bright colors, loud patterns, and funky shapes. Feel free to mismatch patterns (it’s trendy now) or even wear your clothes backwards!
For women, consider a vintage dress with striped socks, plenty of jewelry, and a huge hairbow.
Men can try a comically oversized bowtie with a suit in an unusual color and two different shoes.
1-2. Wear bright makeup.
To create a really silly look, draw your lipstick outside of your lips, paint on bright rouge, and create a dramatic eye with bright eyeshadow and lots of mascara. You can even put glitter on your cheeks or draw on a fake beauty mark. You’re being silly, so rules don’t apply!
For a more socially-acceptable look that will still inspire you to be confident, choose a bright lipstick or exaggerated glittery eyeshadow.
1-3. Create a zany hairstyle.
Try using hairspray to get your hair to stand straight up, create braids all around your head, or make your hair as messy as you can. If you have thicker hair you can also create an afro by back-brushing your hair until it’s piled up on your head.
1-4. Dye your hair a bold color.
Don’t worry, you don’t have to commit to anything. Hair chalk, colored hairspray, and hair mascara can put a burst of color into your hair will all usually come out within a couple of washes.
If you don’t want to use temporary hair dye, look for a brightly colored wig, or one with a silly cut, like a “mullet” cut that is shorter in the front and longer in the back.
1-5. Find some funky accessories.
Visit a second-hand store or a specialty shop and look for the most outlandish accessories you can find - think a tie decorated in flamingos or costume jewelry that is obviously fake.
If you don’t want to spend any money, try making your own accessories. Pin a small stuffed animal to a headband, make a necklace out of soda can tabs and string, or wear a pool float around your waist for the day.
2. Getting in Touch with Your Silly Side
2-1. Tell jokes
Read a list of jokes, then find a place where you don’t know anyone. Go up to strangers and see how many people you can make laugh! Remember to be friendly and cheerful, though, and never rude or tactless.
2-2. Dance freely.
Find a place with music and just let yourself go like you were a kid again. Don’t be afraid to flail your limbs around (just make sure to be considerate of people standing nearby). Dancing has plenty of physical and emotional benefits, too!
2-3. Twirl in circles.
Didn’t you love spinning in circles when you were a kid? It made you feel free, like you were flying (and maybe a little dizzy). Try it out as an adult and see if it doesn’t make you feel like a silly little tot again.
2-4. Sing at the top of your lungs.
Part of being silly is getting in touch with things that make you happy. Put your favorite song on your headphones and sing every word as loudly as you can.
2-5. Get on the floor and play with a little kid.
Kids know how to bring the silly. Get down on the floor and follow their lead. Pretend to be animals, play with toys, or make up your own game with wacky rules.
2-6. Do a cannonball.
You don’t have to be reserved when you’re at the pool! Make a big splash in the deep end by tucking your arms and legs close to your body when you jump in.
2-7. Climb a tree.
When’s the last time you got a bird’s-eye view of your surroundings? Some trees are just made for climbing. Just remember to be careful! Find a tree with strong, sturdy limbs that will support you, and don’t go higher than you feel is safe.
2-8. Go sledding.
Snow days are the perfect opportunity to get in touch with your silly side. Sliding down a hill on your sled will make you feel like a kid again! Try going down the hill in different ways, like sitting straight up, turned backwards, or laying on your belly.
3. Getting Friends Involved
3-1. Practice silly voices and laughs.
When you’re hanging out with friends, see who can come up with the silliest laugh or speaking voice. Before you know it, you’ll be laughing too hard to pretend!
3-2. Play dares with your friends.
See who can come up with the silliest dare - and who’s brave enough to try it! Some fun dares include:
Daring each other to walk with a tomato balanced on your head.
Make balloon animals and give them away for free to children.
Do an impromptu street performance.
Greet strangers with a big smile and something uplifting to say.
3-3. Make slime.
You can make goopy, slimy fun in no time with a few simple household ingredients. Slime can be made by mixing Borax (a common cleaning product) with glue and water. Slime is safe to play with, but children should be supervised to make sure they don’t eat it.
If you don’t have borax, try mixing cornstarch and water to create a cool substance that is similar to quicksand.
3-4. Start a food fight.
Try to find the messiest foods possible to throw and smear. Think glazed donuts, spaghetti, mashed potatoes, and bottles of condiments. This one is best done outside for easy cleanup!
3-5. Have a water balloon fight.
Carefully fill a bunch of balloons with water and stash them in hidden places outside, then try to find them and throw them at your friends before they get you!
Warnings
Keep in mind that it’s not always appropriate to be silly. The workplace, school, and church are probably not the best environment for a silly day.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking the Part\\n1-1. Put on a wild outfit.\\nDressing up is a great way to put yourself in a silly mood. Look for bright colors, loud patterns, and funky shapes. Feel free to mismatch patterns (it’s trendy now) or even wear your clothes backwards! \\nFor women, consider a vintage dress with striped socks, plenty of jewelry, and a huge hairbow.\\nMen can try a comically oversized bowtie with a suit in an unusual color and two different shoes.\\n1-2. Wear bright makeup.\\nTo create a really silly look, draw your lipstick outside of your lips, paint on bright rouge, and create a dramatic eye with bright eyeshadow and lots of mascara. You can even put glitter on your cheeks or draw on a fake beauty mark. You’re being silly, so rules don’t apply! \\nFor a more socially-acceptable look that will still inspire you to be confident, choose a bright lipstick or exaggerated glittery eyeshadow.\\n1-3. Create a zany hairstyle.\\nTry using hairspray to get your hair to stand straight up, create braids all around your head, or make your hair as messy as you can. If you have thicker hair you can also create an afro by back-brushing your hair until it’s piled up on your head.\\n1-4. Dye your hair a bold color.\\nDon’t worry, you don’t have to commit to anything. Hair chalk, colored hairspray, and hair mascara can put a burst of color into your hair will all usually come out within a couple of washes. \\nIf you don’t want to use temporary hair dye, look for a brightly colored wig, or one with a silly cut, like a “mullet” cut that is shorter in the front and longer in the back.\\n1-5. Find some funky accessories.\\nVisit a second-hand store or a specialty shop and look for the most outlandish accessories you can find - think a tie decorated in flamingos or costume jewelry that is obviously fake.\\nIf you don’t want to spend any money, try making your own accessories. Pin a small stuffed animal to a headband, make a necklace out of soda can tabs and string, or wear a pool float around your waist for the day.\\n2. Getting in Touch with Your Silly Side\\n2-1. Tell jokes\\nRead a list of jokes, then find a place where you don’t know anyone. Go up to strangers and see how many people you can make laugh! Remember to be friendly and cheerful, though, and never rude or tactless.\\n2-2. Dance freely.\\nFind a place with music and just let yourself go like you were a kid again. Don’t be afraid to flail your limbs around (just make sure to be considerate of people standing nearby). Dancing has plenty of physical and emotional benefits, too!\\n2-3. Twirl in circles.\\nDidn’t you love spinning in circles when you were a kid? It made you feel free, like you were flying (and maybe a little dizzy). Try it out as an adult and see if it doesn’t make you feel like a silly little tot again.\\n2-4. Sing at the top of your lungs.\\nPart of being silly is getting in touch with things that make you happy. Put your favorite song on your headphones and sing every word as loudly as you can.\\n2-5. Get on the floor and play with a little kid.\\nKids know how to bring the silly. Get down on the floor and follow their lead. Pretend to be animals, play with toys, or make up your own game with wacky rules.\\n2-6. Do a cannonball.\\nYou don’t have to be reserved when you’re at the pool! Make a big splash in the deep end by tucking your arms and legs close to your body when you jump in.\\n2-7. Climb a tree.\\nWhen’s the last time you got a bird’s-eye view of your surroundings? Some trees are just made for climbing. Just remember to be careful! Find a tree with strong, sturdy limbs that will support you, and don’t go higher than you feel is safe.\\n2-8. Go sledding.\\nSnow days are the perfect opportunity to get in touch with your silly side. Sliding down a hill on your sled will make you feel like a kid again! Try going down the hill in different ways, like sitting straight up, turned backwards, or laying on your belly.\\n3. Getting Friends Involved\\n3-1. Practice silly voices and laughs.\\nWhen you’re hanging out with friends, see who can come up with the silliest laugh or speaking voice. Before you know it, you’ll be laughing too hard to pretend!\\n3-2. Play dares with your friends.\\nSee who can come up with the silliest dare - and who’s brave enough to try it! Some fun dares include: \\nDaring each other to walk with a tomato balanced on your head.\\nMake balloon animals and give them away for free to children.\\nDo an impromptu street performance.\\nGreet strangers with a big smile and something uplifting to say.\\n3-3. Make slime.\\nYou can make goopy, slimy fun in no time with a few simple household ingredients. Slime can be made by mixing Borax (a common cleaning product) with glue and water. Slime is safe to play with, but children should be supervised to make sure they don’t eat it. \\nIf you don’t have borax, try mixing cornstarch and water to create a cool substance that is similar to quicksand.\\n3-4. Start a food fight.\\nTry to find the messiest foods possible to throw and smear. Think glazed donuts, spaghetti, mashed potatoes, and bottles of condiments. This one is best done outside for easy cleanup!\\n3-5. Have a water balloon fight.\\nCarefully fill a bunch of balloons with water and stash them in hidden places outside, then try to find them and throw them at your friends before they get you!\\nWarnings\\nKeep in mind that it’s not always appropriate to be silly. The workplace, school, and church are probably not the best environment for a silly day.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you are feeling stuck in a rut, you've got the blues, or life just needs a dash of hilarity, then there is nothing better than to be silly. When you’re a kid, it’s easy to do whatever you feel like without worrying what anyone else thinks. But being silly isn’t just for children - although it is a great way to connect with any kids that are around. Dress up, get outside, and grab some friends - it’s time to regain your sense of silly!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking the Part\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put on a wild outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Dressing up is a great way to put yourself in a silly mood. Look for bright colors, loud patterns, and funky shapes. Feel free to mismatch patterns (it’s trendy now) or even wear your clothes backwards! \\nFor women, consider a vintage dress with striped socks, plenty of jewelry, and a huge hairbow.\\nMen can try a comically oversized bowtie with a suit in an unusual color and two different shoes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear bright makeup.\", \"描述\": \"To create a really silly look, draw your lipstick outside of your lips, paint on bright rouge, and create a dramatic eye with bright eyeshadow and lots of mascara. You can even put glitter on your cheeks or draw on a fake beauty mark. You’re being silly, so rules don’t apply! \\nFor a more socially-acceptable look that will still inspire you to be confident, choose a bright lipstick or exaggerated glittery eyeshadow.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a zany hairstyle.\", \"描述\": \"Try using hairspray to get your hair to stand straight up, create braids all around your head, or make your hair as messy as you can. If you have thicker hair you can also create an afro by back-brushing your hair until it’s piled up on your head.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dye your hair a bold color.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t worry, you don’t have to commit to anything. Hair chalk, colored hairspray, and hair mascara can put a burst of color into your hair will all usually come out within a couple of washes. \\nIf you don’t want to use temporary hair dye, look for a brightly colored wig, or one with a silly cut, like a “mullet” cut that is shorter in the front and longer in the back.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find some funky accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Visit a second-hand store or a specialty shop and look for the most outlandish accessories you can find - think a tie decorated in flamingos or costume jewelry that is obviously fake.\\nIf you don’t want to spend any money, try making your own accessories. Pin a small stuffed animal to a headband, make a necklace out of soda can tabs and string, or wear a pool float around your waist for the day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting in Touch with Your Silly Side\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell jokes\", \"描述\": \"Read a list of jokes, then find a place where you don’t know anyone. Go up to strangers and see how many people you can make laugh! Remember to be friendly and cheerful, though, and never rude or tactless.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dance freely.\", \"描述\": \"Find a place with music and just let yourself go like you were a kid again. Don’t be afraid to flail your limbs around (just make sure to be considerate of people standing nearby). Dancing has plenty of physical and emotional benefits, too!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Twirl in circles.\", \"描述\": \"Didn’t you love spinning in circles when you were a kid? It made you feel free, like you were flying (and maybe a little dizzy). Try it out as an adult and see if it doesn’t make you feel like a silly little tot again.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sing at the top of your lungs.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being silly is getting in touch with things that make you happy. Put your favorite song on your headphones and sing every word as loudly as you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get on the floor and play with a little kid.\", \"描述\": \"Kids know how to bring the silly. Get down on the floor and follow their lead. Pretend to be animals, play with toys, or make up your own game with wacky rules.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do a cannonball.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to be reserved when you’re at the pool! Make a big splash in the deep end by tucking your arms and legs close to your body when you jump in.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Climb a tree.\", \"描述\": \"When’s the last time you got a bird’s-eye view of your surroundings? Some trees are just made for climbing. Just remember to be careful! Find a tree with strong, sturdy limbs that will support you, and don’t go higher than you feel is safe.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Go sledding.\", \"描述\": \"Snow days are the perfect opportunity to get in touch with your silly side. Sliding down a hill on your sled will make you feel like a kid again! Try going down the hill in different ways, like sitting straight up, turned backwards, or laying on your belly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Friends Involved\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice silly voices and laughs.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re hanging out with friends, see who can come up with the silliest laugh or speaking voice. Before you know it, you’ll be laughing too hard to pretend!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play dares with your friends.\", \"描述\": \"See who can come up with the silliest dare - and who’s brave enough to try it! Some fun dares include: \\nDaring each other to walk with a tomato balanced on your head.\\nMake balloon animals and give them away for free to children.\\nDo an impromptu street performance.\\nGreet strangers with a big smile and something uplifting to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make slime.\", \"描述\": \"You can make goopy, slimy fun in no time with a few simple household ingredients. Slime can be made by mixing Borax (a common cleaning product) with glue and water. Slime is safe to play with, but children should be supervised to make sure they don’t eat it. \\nIf you don’t have borax, try mixing cornstarch and water to create a cool substance that is similar to quicksand.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start a food fight.\", \"描述\": \"Try to find the messiest foods possible to throw and smear. Think glazed donuts, spaghetti, mashed potatoes, and bottles of condiments. This one is best done outside for easy cleanup!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a water balloon fight.\", \"描述\": \"Carefully fill a bunch of balloons with water and stash them in hidden places outside, then try to find them and throw them at your friends before they get you!\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Keep in mind that it’s not always appropriate to be silly. The workplace, school, and church are probably not the best environment for a silly day.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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4,153 | How to Be Sincere | 1. Showing Sincerity to Others
1-1. Use sincere body language.
Body language can convey a great deal about your attitude, and it can easily reveal sincerity (or a lack thereof). When you interact with others, try to be mindful of your posture, mannerisms, and behavior.
Make steady eye contact, but don't stare. Look away every now and then, and don't forget to blink.
Maintain a relaxed posture, but keep your body slightly poised. You can do this by very slightly leaning toward the person you're talking to, or reaching out/gesturing towards that person.
Don't try to change your body language to reflect sincerity. If you're sincere, your body language will naturally show it.
1-2. Be an active listener.
One easy way to show sincerity to others is by being an active listener. As someone speaks to you, keep an open mind about what that person is saying. Practicing active listening skills show others that you are taking a sincere interest in what they have to say, and that you genuinely want to know more about the thoughts and feelings of others.
Face the person you're talking to. When you have a genuine reaction to what someone else is saying, your facial cues will give that reaction away. Your eyebrows will raise, your eyes may widen, and your mouth will reveal your emotional reaction. Facing someone will let them see your reactions, and it will convey to them that you are engaged and interested.
Ask open-ended questions to allow the other person to elaborate. For example, don't just ask, "Did you like living there?" This type of question will elicit a yes or no response. Instead, you can ask something like, "Wow, I've never been there before. What was it like for you? What are some memories you have of living there?" This shows your engagement and your curiosity.
Reflect on what has been said by the other person before giving your own response. Your conversational partner may be thinking of how to phrase something, or simply leaving a pause in the conversation for dramatic effect. If you rush to say whatever is on your mind, it will not convey a sincere conversational interest in that person's thoughts and opinions.
1-3. Understand another's point of view.
If you refuse to consider why another person thinks/feels the way they do, you will not be able to have a sincere conversation with that person. Understanding someone else's point of view does not necessarily mean abandoning your own perspective. Rather, you should try to understand what motivates others, and what life experiences may have shaped another person's point of view. Once you are capable of seeing the world through someone else's eyes, you'll develop a more sincere understanding of who that person is and what made him the way he is.
Instead of criticizing someone else's musical tastes, for example, try to understand what about that music might be appealing. Perhaps the lyrics speak to the other person. Or perhaps the loud bass lines of a dance song allow someone who is normally shy to break out of her shell and make moves on the dance floor.
Before you argue with someone about politics, try to understand why that person holds his or her values. Someone who was raised by immigrants who grew up very poor might have strong opinions about the experience of immigrants, which could affect that person's political ideology.
Seeing the world through someone else's perspective helps you become less judgmental and more compassionate.
2. Developing a Sincere Personality
2-1. Assess your strengths and weaknesses.
Part of being more self-aware (and, by extension, more sincere) involves recognizing your best qualities, as well as your weaknesses. This can help you recognize your true self, and avoid being pretentious or insincere.
Ask people you know and trust for an honest evaluation of your best and worst qualities, as well as your strongest and weakest talents.
Practice self-reflection on a daily basis. This can help you become more aware of yourself and keep negative qualities/characteristics in check.
Reflect on what situations you perform poorly in. This can help you determine where your strengths and weaknesses lie.
Remember that negative self-talk isn't always a true reflection of your worth. If you notice that you're being unkind to yourself, ask yourself whether you're living up to your own standards. If you are, try to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. If you're not, make changes that align more closely with who you want to be.
2-2. Make an inventory of your values.
Sincerity often means being true to your values and beliefs. Write out a list of your top 10 values. To help yourself discover these values, consider times when you were happiest, satisfied, or proud of yourself. Ask yourself why these experiences made you feel so fulfilled to determine your values, and decide which values are most important to you.Values can include ambition, accountability, compassion, creativity, peace, teamwork, and security.
2-3. Acknowledge your experiences.
Your life experiences shape and define the person that you are. Pretending to be something that you're not, or pretending to have lived through experiences you do not understand, will quickly reveal you to be a fraud. Instead of trying to hide your roots or your true persona, embrace who you are and where you came from. Others will recognize that you are being true to yourself and will respect you for it.
Examine your life's experiences and your set of personal beliefs to find what resonates with you most. That is most likely a part of who you really are.
Take time to recognize and evaluate your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. They will help you realize whether or not you are being sincere and genuine.
Search your feelings and you will know whether or not you're being true to yourself.
2-4. Be honest and forthright.
Honesty requires a certain amount of vulnerability on your part. But when you make yourself vulnerable, others usually respond in kind. Being honest and direct about your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs will help others get to know you on a mutually-sincere level.
Don't exaggerate your responses, reactions, or feelings.
Let people know how you really feel without beating around the bush or misleading anyone.
If you think someone is an interesting person, show it by offering your full attention. Take a genuine interest in what other people say and think.
Remember that being honest and forthright doesn't mean hurting other people's feelings. If you think an honest, direct answer could upset someone, you may want to consider approaching that situation with a little more tact.
2-5. Practice mindfulness.
Being mindful means learning how to be aware of yourself, your actions, and your feelings in the present moment. When you practice mindfulness, you force yourself to confront the way you think and feel in the immediate now, which can help you get a better, more sincere sense of self.
Focus on your breath. If you find your thoughts wandering, just return to your breathing. Concentrate on the physical sensation of air blowing in and out through your nostrils, as well as your abdomen moving up and down. Notice the way your stress or anxiety seems to melt away as you continue breathing.
Engage your senses in everything you do. Try using as many of your senses as possible when you perform daily activities like eating. Use your sight, smell, touch, and taste to fully experience an orange before you eat it.
Practicing mindfulness helps you block out any internalized expectations you may have placed on yourself, and instead allows you to experience the present moment as your real, authentic self.
Apps like Insight Timer and Headspace can guide you through the process of mindfulness.
3. Offering a Sincere Apology
3-1. Acknowledge your mistake.
If you want to offer a sincere apology, you'll need to own up to your mistake. Whether you said or did something hurtful, made someone feel bad, or let someone down, you need to address the fact that what you did was wrong and it hurt someone's feelings.
If you cannot understand why someone's feelings were hurt, try putting yourself in his shoes. Think about how your words or actions might have affected that person, and also consider how his life experiences may have made that person more sensitive to the issue at hand.
Even if you still cannot understand why the other person's feelings were hurt, try to accept the fact that it happened, and that your words or actions caused it.
Accept responsibility for your mistake. Don't try to blame it on someone else. A sincere apology requires an honest admission of guilt.
Start by saying something like, "I recognize that I hurt your feelings with my behavior."
3-2. Express your regret.
It may go without saying, but part of any apology requires you to actually say the words, "I'm sorry." Let the other person know that you understand that you've hurt him, and that you feel remorse.
Don't give a false apology, like saying "Sorry you took it the wrong way." Be genuine and apologetic for your mistake.
Research shows that sincerity can make or break an apology. If you cannot give an honest, sincere apology, take some time to cool down and reflect on how you've hurt someone. Then apologize when you're ready.
Say something like, "I'm truly sorry for hurting you. I don't know what I was thinking."
3-3. Try to atone for your actions.
Once you've acknowledged your mistake and given a genuine apology, offer to make it up to the other person somehow. If there is any way you can correct or repair the mistake, do so. If not, you may want to make an offer to make it up to them somehow.
If you joined in on making fun of someone, you can atone for your actions by telling others to stop when you see them making fun of that person in the future.
If you let someone down by your actions or inactions, correct the mistake. For example, if you promised to give someone a ride and then forgot, you could give them a free ride for a week to make it up to them.
End your apology by telling the other person something like, "I will do whatever I can to fix this, and I promise it will never happen again."
Tips
Try volunteering and contributing to the community in the most giving way possible.
Ask yourself if you are acting from the heart. If you're saying/doing things just to be noticed, you're probably not being sincere.
Be patient. It can take a long time to understand who you are, and an even longer time to learn how to be sincere to your true self.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Showing Sincerity to Others\\n1-1. Use sincere body language.\\nBody language can convey a great deal about your attitude, and it can easily reveal sincerity (or a lack thereof). When you interact with others, try to be mindful of your posture, mannerisms, and behavior.\\nMake steady eye contact, but don't stare. Look away every now and then, and don't forget to blink.\\nMaintain a relaxed posture, but keep your body slightly poised. You can do this by very slightly leaning toward the person you're talking to, or reaching out/gesturing towards that person.\\nDon't try to change your body language to reflect sincerity. If you're sincere, your body language will naturally show it.\\n1-2. Be an active listener.\\nOne easy way to show sincerity to others is by being an active listener. As someone speaks to you, keep an open mind about what that person is saying. Practicing active listening skills show others that you are taking a sincere interest in what they have to say, and that you genuinely want to know more about the thoughts and feelings of others.\\nFace the person you're talking to. When you have a genuine reaction to what someone else is saying, your facial cues will give that reaction away. Your eyebrows will raise, your eyes may widen, and your mouth will reveal your emotional reaction. Facing someone will let them see your reactions, and it will convey to them that you are engaged and interested.\\nAsk open-ended questions to allow the other person to elaborate. For example, don't just ask, \\\"Did you like living there?\\\" This type of question will elicit a yes or no response. Instead, you can ask something like, \\\"Wow, I've never been there before. What was it like for you? What are some memories you have of living there?\\\" This shows your engagement and your curiosity.\\nReflect on what has been said by the other person before giving your own response. Your conversational partner may be thinking of how to phrase something, or simply leaving a pause in the conversation for dramatic effect. If you rush to say whatever is on your mind, it will not convey a sincere conversational interest in that person's thoughts and opinions.\\n1-3. Understand another's point of view.\\nIf you refuse to consider why another person thinks/feels the way they do, you will not be able to have a sincere conversation with that person. Understanding someone else's point of view does not necessarily mean abandoning your own perspective. Rather, you should try to understand what motivates others, and what life experiences may have shaped another person's point of view. Once you are capable of seeing the world through someone else's eyes, you'll develop a more sincere understanding of who that person is and what made him the way he is.\\nInstead of criticizing someone else's musical tastes, for example, try to understand what about that music might be appealing. Perhaps the lyrics speak to the other person. Or perhaps the loud bass lines of a dance song allow someone who is normally shy to break out of her shell and make moves on the dance floor.\\nBefore you argue with someone about politics, try to understand why that person holds his or her values. Someone who was raised by immigrants who grew up very poor might have strong opinions about the experience of immigrants, which could affect that person's political ideology.\\nSeeing the world through someone else's perspective helps you become less judgmental and more compassionate.\\n2. Developing a Sincere Personality\\n2-1. Assess your strengths and weaknesses.\\nPart of being more self-aware (and, by extension, more sincere) involves recognizing your best qualities, as well as your weaknesses. This can help you recognize your true self, and avoid being pretentious or insincere.\\nAsk people you know and trust for an honest evaluation of your best and worst qualities, as well as your strongest and weakest talents.\\nPractice self-reflection on a daily basis. This can help you become more aware of yourself and keep negative qualities/characteristics in check.\\nReflect on what situations you perform poorly in. This can help you determine where your strengths and weaknesses lie.\\nRemember that negative self-talk isn't always a true reflection of your worth. If you notice that you're being unkind to yourself, ask yourself whether you're living up to your own standards. If you are, try to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. If you're not, make changes that align more closely with who you want to be.\\n2-2. Make an inventory of your values.\\nSincerity often means being true to your values and beliefs. Write out a list of your top 10 values. To help yourself discover these values, consider times when you were happiest, satisfied, or proud of yourself. Ask yourself why these experiences made you feel so fulfilled to determine your values, and decide which values are most important to you.Values can include ambition, accountability, compassion, creativity, peace, teamwork, and security.\\n2-3. Acknowledge your experiences.\\nYour life experiences shape and define the person that you are. Pretending to be something that you're not, or pretending to have lived through experiences you do not understand, will quickly reveal you to be a fraud. Instead of trying to hide your roots or your true persona, embrace who you are and where you came from. Others will recognize that you are being true to yourself and will respect you for it.\\nExamine your life's experiences and your set of personal beliefs to find what resonates with you most. That is most likely a part of who you really are.\\nTake time to recognize and evaluate your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. They will help you realize whether or not you are being sincere and genuine.\\nSearch your feelings and you will know whether or not you're being true to yourself.\\n2-4. Be honest and forthright.\\nHonesty requires a certain amount of vulnerability on your part. But when you make yourself vulnerable, others usually respond in kind. Being honest and direct about your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs will help others get to know you on a mutually-sincere level.\\nDon't exaggerate your responses, reactions, or feelings.\\nLet people know how you really feel without beating around the bush or misleading anyone.\\nIf you think someone is an interesting person, show it by offering your full attention. Take a genuine interest in what other people say and think.\\nRemember that being honest and forthright doesn't mean hurting other people's feelings. If you think an honest, direct answer could upset someone, you may want to consider approaching that situation with a little more tact.\\n2-5. Practice mindfulness.\\nBeing mindful means learning how to be aware of yourself, your actions, and your feelings in the present moment. When you practice mindfulness, you force yourself to confront the way you think and feel in the immediate now, which can help you get a better, more sincere sense of self.\\nFocus on your breath. If you find your thoughts wandering, just return to your breathing. Concentrate on the physical sensation of air blowing in and out through your nostrils, as well as your abdomen moving up and down. Notice the way your stress or anxiety seems to melt away as you continue breathing.\\nEngage your senses in everything you do. Try using as many of your senses as possible when you perform daily activities like eating. Use your sight, smell, touch, and taste to fully experience an orange before you eat it.\\nPracticing mindfulness helps you block out any internalized expectations you may have placed on yourself, and instead allows you to experience the present moment as your real, authentic self.\\nApps like Insight Timer and Headspace can guide you through the process of mindfulness.\\n3. Offering a Sincere Apology\\n3-1. Acknowledge your mistake.\\nIf you want to offer a sincere apology, you'll need to own up to your mistake. Whether you said or did something hurtful, made someone feel bad, or let someone down, you need to address the fact that what you did was wrong and it hurt someone's feelings.\\nIf you cannot understand why someone's feelings were hurt, try putting yourself in his shoes. Think about how your words or actions might have affected that person, and also consider how his life experiences may have made that person more sensitive to the issue at hand.\\nEven if you still cannot understand why the other person's feelings were hurt, try to accept the fact that it happened, and that your words or actions caused it.\\nAccept responsibility for your mistake. Don't try to blame it on someone else. A sincere apology requires an honest admission of guilt.\\nStart by saying something like, \\\"I recognize that I hurt your feelings with my behavior.\\\"\\n3-2. Express your regret.\\nIt may go without saying, but part of any apology requires you to actually say the words, \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" Let the other person know that you understand that you've hurt him, and that you feel remorse.\\nDon't give a false apology, like saying \\\"Sorry you took it the wrong way.\\\" Be genuine and apologetic for your mistake.\\nResearch shows that sincerity can make or break an apology. If you cannot give an honest, sincere apology, take some time to cool down and reflect on how you've hurt someone. Then apologize when you're ready.\\nSay something like, \\\"I'm truly sorry for hurting you. I don't know what I was thinking.\\\"\\n3-3. Try to atone for your actions.\\nOnce you've acknowledged your mistake and given a genuine apology, offer to make it up to the other person somehow. If there is any way you can correct or repair the mistake, do so. If not, you may want to make an offer to make it up to them somehow. \\nIf you joined in on making fun of someone, you can atone for your actions by telling others to stop when you see them making fun of that person in the future.\\nIf you let someone down by your actions or inactions, correct the mistake. For example, if you promised to give someone a ride and then forgot, you could give them a free ride for a week to make it up to them.\\nEnd your apology by telling the other person something like, \\\"I will do whatever I can to fix this, and I promise it will never happen again.\\\"\\nTips\\nTry volunteering and contributing to the community in the most giving way possible.\\nAsk yourself if you are acting from the heart. If you're saying/doing things just to be noticed, you're probably not being sincere.\\nBe patient. It can take a long time to understand who you are, and an even longer time to learn how to be sincere to your true self.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sincerity means being honest and straightforward without any pretense, misrepresentation, or deceit. Being a more sincere person can refer to how you interact with others, but ultimately sincerity must begin within yourself. Learning to recognize your thoughts and feelings can help you become a more genuine person, which in turn can help you become more sincere in your dealings with others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Showing Sincerity to Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use sincere body language.\", \"描述\": \"Body language can convey a great deal about your attitude, and it can easily reveal sincerity (or a lack thereof). When you interact with others, try to be mindful of your posture, mannerisms, and behavior.\\nMake steady eye contact, but don't stare. Look away every now and then, and don't forget to blink.\\nMaintain a relaxed posture, but keep your body slightly poised. You can do this by very slightly leaning toward the person you're talking to, or reaching out/gesturing towards that person.\\nDon't try to change your body language to reflect sincerity. If you're sincere, your body language will naturally show it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be an active listener.\", \"描述\": \"One easy way to show sincerity to others is by being an active listener. As someone speaks to you, keep an open mind about what that person is saying. Practicing active listening skills show others that you are taking a sincere interest in what they have to say, and that you genuinely want to know more about the thoughts and feelings of others.\\nFace the person you're talking to. When you have a genuine reaction to what someone else is saying, your facial cues will give that reaction away. Your eyebrows will raise, your eyes may widen, and your mouth will reveal your emotional reaction. Facing someone will let them see your reactions, and it will convey to them that you are engaged and interested.\\nAsk open-ended questions to allow the other person to elaborate. For example, don't just ask, \\\"Did you like living there?\\\" This type of question will elicit a yes or no response. Instead, you can ask something like, \\\"Wow, I've never been there before. What was it like for you? What are some memories you have of living there?\\\" This shows your engagement and your curiosity.\\nReflect on what has been said by the other person before giving your own response. Your conversational partner may be thinking of how to phrase something, or simply leaving a pause in the conversation for dramatic effect. If you rush to say whatever is on your mind, it will not convey a sincere conversational interest in that person's thoughts and opinions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand another's point of view.\", \"描述\": \"If you refuse to consider why another person thinks/feels the way they do, you will not be able to have a sincere conversation with that person. Understanding someone else's point of view does not necessarily mean abandoning your own perspective. Rather, you should try to understand what motivates others, and what life experiences may have shaped another person's point of view. Once you are capable of seeing the world through someone else's eyes, you'll develop a more sincere understanding of who that person is and what made him the way he is.\\nInstead of criticizing someone else's musical tastes, for example, try to understand what about that music might be appealing. Perhaps the lyrics speak to the other person. Or perhaps the loud bass lines of a dance song allow someone who is normally shy to break out of her shell and make moves on the dance floor.\\nBefore you argue with someone about politics, try to understand why that person holds his or her values. Someone who was raised by immigrants who grew up very poor might have strong opinions about the experience of immigrants, which could affect that person's political ideology.\\nSeeing the world through someone else's perspective helps you become less judgmental and more compassionate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing a Sincere Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assess your strengths and weaknesses.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being more self-aware (and, by extension, more sincere) involves recognizing your best qualities, as well as your weaknesses. This can help you recognize your true self, and avoid being pretentious or insincere.\\nAsk people you know and trust for an honest evaluation of your best and worst qualities, as well as your strongest and weakest talents.\\nPractice self-reflection on a daily basis. This can help you become more aware of yourself and keep negative qualities/characteristics in check.\\nReflect on what situations you perform poorly in. This can help you determine where your strengths and weaknesses lie.\\nRemember that negative self-talk isn't always a true reflection of your worth. If you notice that you're being unkind to yourself, ask yourself whether you're living up to your own standards. If you are, try to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. If you're not, make changes that align more closely with who you want to be.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make an inventory of your values.\", \"描述\": \"Sincerity often means being true to your values and beliefs. Write out a list of your top 10 values. To help yourself discover these values, consider times when you were happiest, satisfied, or proud of yourself. Ask yourself why these experiences made you feel so fulfilled to determine your values, and decide which values are most important to you.Values can include ambition, accountability, compassion, creativity, peace, teamwork, and security.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your experiences.\", \"描述\": \"Your life experiences shape and define the person that you are. Pretending to be something that you're not, or pretending to have lived through experiences you do not understand, will quickly reveal you to be a fraud. Instead of trying to hide your roots or your true persona, embrace who you are and where you came from. Others will recognize that you are being true to yourself and will respect you for it.\\nExamine your life's experiences and your set of personal beliefs to find what resonates with you most. That is most likely a part of who you really are.\\nTake time to recognize and evaluate your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. They will help you realize whether or not you are being sincere and genuine.\\nSearch your feelings and you will know whether or not you're being true to yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest and forthright.\", \"描述\": \"Honesty requires a certain amount of vulnerability on your part. But when you make yourself vulnerable, others usually respond in kind. Being honest and direct about your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs will help others get to know you on a mutually-sincere level.\\nDon't exaggerate your responses, reactions, or feelings.\\nLet people know how you really feel without beating around the bush or misleading anyone.\\nIf you think someone is an interesting person, show it by offering your full attention. Take a genuine interest in what other people say and think.\\nRemember that being honest and forthright doesn't mean hurting other people's feelings. If you think an honest, direct answer could upset someone, you may want to consider approaching that situation with a little more tact.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice mindfulness.\", \"描述\": \"Being mindful means learning how to be aware of yourself, your actions, and your feelings in the present moment. When you practice mindfulness, you force yourself to confront the way you think and feel in the immediate now, which can help you get a better, more sincere sense of self.\\nFocus on your breath. If you find your thoughts wandering, just return to your breathing. Concentrate on the physical sensation of air blowing in and out through your nostrils, as well as your abdomen moving up and down. Notice the way your stress or anxiety seems to melt away as you continue breathing.\\nEngage your senses in everything you do. Try using as many of your senses as possible when you perform daily activities like eating. Use your sight, smell, touch, and taste to fully experience an orange before you eat it.\\nPracticing mindfulness helps you block out any internalized expectations you may have placed on yourself, and instead allows you to experience the present moment as your real, authentic self.\\nApps like Insight Timer and Headspace can guide you through the process of mindfulness.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offering a Sincere Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your mistake.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to offer a sincere apology, you'll need to own up to your mistake. Whether you said or did something hurtful, made someone feel bad, or let someone down, you need to address the fact that what you did was wrong and it hurt someone's feelings.\\nIf you cannot understand why someone's feelings were hurt, try putting yourself in his shoes. Think about how your words or actions might have affected that person, and also consider how his life experiences may have made that person more sensitive to the issue at hand.\\nEven if you still cannot understand why the other person's feelings were hurt, try to accept the fact that it happened, and that your words or actions caused it.\\nAccept responsibility for your mistake. Don't try to blame it on someone else. A sincere apology requires an honest admission of guilt.\\nStart by saying something like, \\\"I recognize that I hurt your feelings with my behavior.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Express your regret.\", \"描述\": \"It may go without saying, but part of any apology requires you to actually say the words, \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" Let the other person know that you understand that you've hurt him, and that you feel remorse.\\nDon't give a false apology, like saying \\\"Sorry you took it the wrong way.\\\" Be genuine and apologetic for your mistake.\\nResearch shows that sincerity can make or break an apology. If you cannot give an honest, sincere apology, take some time to cool down and reflect on how you've hurt someone. Then apologize when you're ready.\\nSay something like, \\\"I'm truly sorry for hurting you. I don't know what I was thinking.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to atone for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've acknowledged your mistake and given a genuine apology, offer to make it up to the other person somehow. If there is any way you can correct or repair the mistake, do so. If not, you may want to make an offer to make it up to them somehow. \\nIf you joined in on making fun of someone, you can atone for your actions by telling others to stop when you see them making fun of that person in the future.\\nIf you let someone down by your actions or inactions, correct the mistake. For example, if you promised to give someone a ride and then forgot, you could give them a free ride for a week to make it up to them.\\nEnd your apology by telling the other person something like, \\\"I will do whatever I can to fix this, and I promise it will never happen again.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try volunteering and contributing to the community in the most giving way possible.\\n\", \"Ask yourself if you are acting from the heart. If you're saying/doing things just to be noticed, you're probably not being sincere.\\n\", \"Be patient. It can take a long time to understand who you are, and an even longer time to learn how to be sincere to your true self.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,154 | How to Be Single | 1. How do I accept being single?
1-1. Focus on self-care.
At first, being single might not seem like much fun, but it's actually a really good chance to get to know yourself and to take responsibility for your own well-being. Take good care of your mind and body—start with basics like exercising, following a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep. Then, care for yourself by building on that, like finding stress-relief techniques that work for you, setting healthy boundaries with the people in your life, or learning habits for keeping your space tidy.
It's fine to get out and enjoy spending time with other people—you should do that! But be sure to leave a little time for yourself, too.
Immediately after a breakup, self-care and self-compassion should be a big focus.
1-2. Pursue your own interests.
Do some soul-searching to discover what it is you really like about yourself, and what your unique likes and dislikes are. Then, make a serious effort to include things you really like in your everyday life. That might mean diving into a new hobby, finding music you really love, curating your wardrobe to reflect your sense of style—whatever it is that you think you'd really enjoy.
Not only will this help you be happier when you're single, but it will also help you feel more confident in your future relationships—both romantic and otherwise!
2. How can I be single and not lonely?
2-1. Spend plenty of time with your family and friends.
Being single doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of time by yourself. In fact, it's easier to get together with your friends when you're single! Plan day trips with your besties, meet up with your work buddies after your shift, or have movie marathons with your old friends from college—the world is yours!
2-2. Hang out in places where you'll meet people.
Don't just rely on old friends—get out there and make some new friends, too! When you get involved in activities and hobbies you really enjoy, you'll automatically have at least one shared interest with the people you meet while you're doing it.
If you go to an art exhibit you're really excited about, for instance, you can strike up a conversation with someone who seems really into some of the same paintings you like.
If you're spiritual, you might make friends at a local church or temple.
Volunteering can be a great way to meet other people while you're making a positive impact on your community.
3. How can I live my best single life?
3-1. Enjoy the freedom to make your own choices.
When you're single, you'll have more opportunities to dive into your favorite hobbies, make time for self-care, and spend time with your friends. Think of it like dating yourself—how can you treat yourself to the things that will really make you happy?
Even little things can have a big impact on your overall wellbeing—take advantage of the chance to have cereal for dinner, fall asleep with the TV on, or listen to your favorite songs at full volume in the car!
You can also choose how to spend your money, travel where and when you want, and accept those impromptu invitations from your friends.
3-2. Go after your goals.
Being in a relationship takes a lot of time and effort—and sometimes that can come at the expense of doing some of the things you'd really like to do. When you're single, you don't have that to worry about. Ask yourself what you've always wanted to do, then start taking the steps to make that dream a reality!
For example, if you'd really love to get into filmmaking, get up early one Saturday and head to the park with a video camera—there's no need to worry about whether someone else has made plans.
Being in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you have to give up on your goals, but it does mean you have someone else to consider before you make a big leap, like leaving your job to pursue a dream opportunity.
3-3. Learn new skills to become more self-reliant.
If you haven't been single for long, you might be used to relying on someone else for some of the day-to-day tasks in your life, like mowing the lawn, cooking meals, or paying bills. When you're single, it's up to do these things on your own. Don't be intimidated, though—it's actually really empowering to learn to take care of things you haven't been able to do before!
If you feel overwhelmed or you don't know how to do something, reach out to a family, friend, or neighbor for help.
4. Are people happier when they're in relationships?
Not necessarily—a lot of single people are perfectly happy.
That's because when you're single, you have more opportunities to focus what you want out of life, you're more self-sufficient, and you might even become more confident. Also, it can sometimes be tempting to idealize other people's relationships—but people who are coupled up might have to deal with more emotional stress than people who are single.
Keep your eye on the future—you might be even happier with your single status as you get older.
While there are some studies that suggest that people who are married are happier, this seems to work both ways—if you're already happy with yourself, you're more likely to end up in happier relationships!
If you do decide to look for a relationship, take the time to really get to know the people you meet. If you notice red flags—like the person is quick to anger or tries to convince you to change—take a step back and re-evaluate.
5. Is it healthy to be single?
You might actually be healthier when you're single.
People who are single tend to be more active than people who are married, so don't be surprised if you find yourself getting up and moving around more! In fact, some studies find that single people take fewer sick days from work, so you might just find yourself enjoying better health in general.
You might have less overall stress when you're single, too!
6. Is it OK to be single forever?
Absolutely, if that's what you want.
Don't let anyone tell you that you need to be in a relationship to be happy in life. In fact, it's better to commit to being single until (and unless) you meet someone who changes your mind. And if that isn't in the cards for you, that's totally fine. Enjoy your life and the freedom that comes with being single!
There can sometimes be a lot of pressure from society for people to "settle down" and get married, but being single is pretty common, so don't let it get to you!
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. How do I accept being single?\\n1-1. Focus on self-care.\\nAt first, being single might not seem like much fun, but it's actually a really good chance to get to know yourself and to take responsibility for your own well-being. Take good care of your mind and body—start with basics like exercising, following a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep. Then, care for yourself by building on that, like finding stress-relief techniques that work for you, setting healthy boundaries with the people in your life, or learning habits for keeping your space tidy.\\nIt's fine to get out and enjoy spending time with other people—you should do that! But be sure to leave a little time for yourself, too.\\nImmediately after a breakup, self-care and self-compassion should be a big focus.\\n1-2. Pursue your own interests.\\nDo some soul-searching to discover what it is you really like about yourself, and what your unique likes and dislikes are. Then, make a serious effort to include things you really like in your everyday life. That might mean diving into a new hobby, finding music you really love, curating your wardrobe to reflect your sense of style—whatever it is that you think you'd really enjoy.\\nNot only will this help you be happier when you're single, but it will also help you feel more confident in your future relationships—both romantic and otherwise!\\n2. How can I be single and not lonely?\\n2-1. Spend plenty of time with your family and friends.\\nBeing single doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of time by yourself. In fact, it's easier to get together with your friends when you're single! Plan day trips with your besties, meet up with your work buddies after your shift, or have movie marathons with your old friends from college—the world is yours!\\n2-2. Hang out in places where you'll meet people.\\nDon't just rely on old friends—get out there and make some new friends, too! When you get involved in activities and hobbies you really enjoy, you'll automatically have at least one shared interest with the people you meet while you're doing it. \\nIf you go to an art exhibit you're really excited about, for instance, you can strike up a conversation with someone who seems really into some of the same paintings you like.\\nIf you're spiritual, you might make friends at a local church or temple.\\nVolunteering can be a great way to meet other people while you're making a positive impact on your community.\\n3. How can I live my best single life?\\n3-1. Enjoy the freedom to make your own choices.\\nWhen you're single, you'll have more opportunities to dive into your favorite hobbies, make time for self-care, and spend time with your friends. Think of it like dating yourself—how can you treat yourself to the things that will really make you happy?\\nEven little things can have a big impact on your overall wellbeing—take advantage of the chance to have cereal for dinner, fall asleep with the TV on, or listen to your favorite songs at full volume in the car!\\nYou can also choose how to spend your money, travel where and when you want, and accept those impromptu invitations from your friends.\\n3-2. Go after your goals.\\nBeing in a relationship takes a lot of time and effort—and sometimes that can come at the expense of doing some of the things you'd really like to do. When you're single, you don't have that to worry about. Ask yourself what you've always wanted to do, then start taking the steps to make that dream a reality!\\nFor example, if you'd really love to get into filmmaking, get up early one Saturday and head to the park with a video camera—there's no need to worry about whether someone else has made plans.\\nBeing in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you have to give up on your goals, but it does mean you have someone else to consider before you make a big leap, like leaving your job to pursue a dream opportunity.\\n3-3. Learn new skills to become more self-reliant.\\nIf you haven't been single for long, you might be used to relying on someone else for some of the day-to-day tasks in your life, like mowing the lawn, cooking meals, or paying bills. When you're single, it's up to do these things on your own. Don't be intimidated, though—it's actually really empowering to learn to take care of things you haven't been able to do before!\\nIf you feel overwhelmed or you don't know how to do something, reach out to a family, friend, or neighbor for help.\\n4. Are people happier when they're in relationships?\\nNot necessarily—a lot of single people are perfectly happy.\\nThat's because when you're single, you have more opportunities to focus what you want out of life, you're more self-sufficient, and you might even become more confident. Also, it can sometimes be tempting to idealize other people's relationships—but people who are coupled up might have to deal with more emotional stress than people who are single.\\nKeep your eye on the future—you might be even happier with your single status as you get older.\\nWhile there are some studies that suggest that people who are married are happier, this seems to work both ways—if you're already happy with yourself, you're more likely to end up in happier relationships!\\nIf you do decide to look for a relationship, take the time to really get to know the people you meet. If you notice red flags—like the person is quick to anger or tries to convince you to change—take a step back and re-evaluate.\\n5. Is it healthy to be single?\\nYou might actually be healthier when you're single.\\nPeople who are single tend to be more active than people who are married, so don't be surprised if you find yourself getting up and moving around more! In fact, some studies find that single people take fewer sick days from work, so you might just find yourself enjoying better health in general.\\nYou might have less overall stress when you're single, too!\\n6. Is it OK to be single forever?\\nAbsolutely, if that's what you want.\\nDon't let anyone tell you that you need to be in a relationship to be happy in life. In fact, it's better to commit to being single until (and unless) you meet someone who changes your mind. And if that isn't in the cards for you, that's totally fine. Enjoy your life and the freedom that comes with being single!\\nThere can sometimes be a lot of pressure from society for people to \\\"settle down\\\" and get married, but being single is pretty common, so don't let it get to you!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you're single, you might get faced with a lot of questions like, \\\"When are you going to settle down?\\\" or \\\"Have you met anyone special lately?\\\" Despite any pressure you might feel from family and friends to get coupled up, though, being single can actually be really awesome. It's the perfect chance to make yourself your own top priority, and you'll have more time to spend doing the things you really enjoy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"How do I accept being single?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on self-care.\", \"描述\": \"At first, being single might not seem like much fun, but it's actually a really good chance to get to know yourself and to take responsibility for your own well-being. Take good care of your mind and body—start with basics like exercising, following a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep. Then, care for yourself by building on that, like finding stress-relief techniques that work for you, setting healthy boundaries with the people in your life, or learning habits for keeping your space tidy.\\nIt's fine to get out and enjoy spending time with other people—you should do that! But be sure to leave a little time for yourself, too.\\nImmediately after a breakup, self-care and self-compassion should be a big focus.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pursue your own interests.\", \"描述\": \"Do some soul-searching to discover what it is you really like about yourself, and what your unique likes and dislikes are. Then, make a serious effort to include things you really like in your everyday life. That might mean diving into a new hobby, finding music you really love, curating your wardrobe to reflect your sense of style—whatever it is that you think you'd really enjoy.\\nNot only will this help you be happier when you're single, but it will also help you feel more confident in your future relationships—both romantic and otherwise!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"How can I be single and not lonely?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend plenty of time with your family and friends.\", \"描述\": \"Being single doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of time by yourself. In fact, it's easier to get together with your friends when you're single! Plan day trips with your besties, meet up with your work buddies after your shift, or have movie marathons with your old friends from college—the world is yours!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hang out in places where you'll meet people.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just rely on old friends—get out there and make some new friends, too! When you get involved in activities and hobbies you really enjoy, you'll automatically have at least one shared interest with the people you meet while you're doing it. \\nIf you go to an art exhibit you're really excited about, for instance, you can strike up a conversation with someone who seems really into some of the same paintings you like.\\nIf you're spiritual, you might make friends at a local church or temple.\\nVolunteering can be a great way to meet other people while you're making a positive impact on your community.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"How can I live my best single life?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the freedom to make your own choices.\", \"描述\": \"When you're single, you'll have more opportunities to dive into your favorite hobbies, make time for self-care, and spend time with your friends. Think of it like dating yourself—how can you treat yourself to the things that will really make you happy?\\nEven little things can have a big impact on your overall wellbeing—take advantage of the chance to have cereal for dinner, fall asleep with the TV on, or listen to your favorite songs at full volume in the car!\\nYou can also choose how to spend your money, travel where and when you want, and accept those impromptu invitations from your friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go after your goals.\", \"描述\": \"Being in a relationship takes a lot of time and effort—and sometimes that can come at the expense of doing some of the things you'd really like to do. When you're single, you don't have that to worry about. Ask yourself what you've always wanted to do, then start taking the steps to make that dream a reality!\\nFor example, if you'd really love to get into filmmaking, get up early one Saturday and head to the park with a video camera—there's no need to worry about whether someone else has made plans.\\nBeing in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you have to give up on your goals, but it does mean you have someone else to consider before you make a big leap, like leaving your job to pursue a dream opportunity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn new skills to become more self-reliant.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven't been single for long, you might be used to relying on someone else for some of the day-to-day tasks in your life, like mowing the lawn, cooking meals, or paying bills. When you're single, it's up to do these things on your own. Don't be intimidated, though—it's actually really empowering to learn to take care of things you haven't been able to do before!\\nIf you feel overwhelmed or you don't know how to do something, reach out to a family, friend, or neighbor for help.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Are people happier when they're in relationships?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Not necessarily—a lot of single people are perfectly happy.\", \"描述\": \"That's because when you're single, you have more opportunities to focus what you want out of life, you're more self-sufficient, and you might even become more confident. Also, it can sometimes be tempting to idealize other people's relationships—but people who are coupled up might have to deal with more emotional stress than people who are single.\\nKeep your eye on the future—you might be even happier with your single status as you get older.\\nWhile there are some studies that suggest that people who are married are happier, this seems to work both ways—if you're already happy with yourself, you're more likely to end up in happier relationships!\\nIf you do decide to look for a relationship, take the time to really get to know the people you meet. If you notice red flags—like the person is quick to anger or tries to convince you to change—take a step back and re-evaluate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Is it healthy to be single?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You might actually be healthier when you're single.\", \"描述\": \"People who are single tend to be more active than people who are married, so don't be surprised if you find yourself getting up and moving around more! In fact, some studies find that single people take fewer sick days from work, so you might just find yourself enjoying better health in general.\\nYou might have less overall stress when you're single, too!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Is it OK to be single forever?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Absolutely, if that's what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Don't let anyone tell you that you need to be in a relationship to be happy in life. In fact, it's better to commit to being single until (and unless) you meet someone who changes your mind. And if that isn't in the cards for you, that's totally fine. Enjoy your life and the freedom that comes with being single!\\nThere can sometimes be a lot of pressure from society for people to \\\"settle down\\\" and get married, but being single is pretty common, so don't let it get to you!\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,155 | How to Be Single Again | 1. Moving on After Serious Relationships
1-1. Stop blaming yourself for how things ended.
It does not matter who ended things, or who said what. If you broke up, it meant that one or both of you weren't right for each other, and though it is hard to acknowledge, this makes the break up a good thing in the long run. But that is for down the road -- for now, the only thing to remember is that this isn't your fault. Relationships are a two-way street -- and it is no one's fault when they don't work out. So stop beating yourself up. It's not worth the emotional energy.
1-2. Give yourself some time to be sad.
Everyone is going to be telling you "it's going to be fine," "you were too good for him anyway," and other platitudes to try and cheer you up. But the truth is that you're going to be sad, and fighting it off or ignoring that sadness will only make it last longer. The trick isn't to avoid sadness but put a deadline on it. Let yourself be sad for a week or so -- eat the ice cream, watch the sad movies, and have a good cry. But once your week is over, it is time to pick up the pieces and move forward.
There is no right amount of time to be sad. However, you should not let your sadness destroy your everyday life and other relationships.
While colloquial, there is some evidence that most people feel "normal" again after roughly three weeks.
1-3. Understand that being single will feel weird, foreign, and uncomfortable at first.
But you must also know being single is not the weird part -- you're just adjusting to something new. Being in a relationship impacts almost every part of your life, so losing that constant force may make everything feel different and strange. But this is just your brain and body shifting into single gear -- it has nothing to do with your decision, or a permanent change in your personality.
1-4. Remove pictures, items, and memories of your ex from regular view.
Constant reminders of your old relationship will make it much harder to feel single. You don't have to throw anything away if you don't want, but put it all in a box in the basement for the time being. Even if you don't think you need to get rid of stuff, or feel bad doing it, you should do a light purge.
Invite a sympathetic friend to help out if this is emotionally difficult. It will take half the time, and you'll have a support system to boot.
1-5. Mix things up with a vacation, furniture shuffle, or a new outfit.
Don't go out and change your whole life now that you're single, of course. But a few cosmetic changes, ones you might not have made with a partner, make the rest of the changes in your life much easier to swallow. Even a weekend trip or hike can be enough to shake off some of the sadness and see things in a different light.
Changing your surroundings, even temporarily, is a good way to put your "normal life" in perspective, helping cope with your difficult or painful emotions.
1-6. Rekindle and strengthen your friendships and support network.
If you have good friends, they've most likely been passively but patiently there for you throughout your whole relationship. Use this time to go out and make up for all those lost times and declined invitations. Now, you have the chance to bond with your old friends and the freedom to make new ones. Friendships are very positive, and the stronger they are, the more they'll help you get through this tricky period.
1-7. Recognize and be proud of yourself, knowing that you aren't defined by who you're dating.
Being single is a blessing, and it is a vital part of growing up and learning more about yourself. The states of singleness found between intervals of relationships can be the most rewarding times in your life. These are the times when you grow stronger and redefine your priorities and interests as an individual. Good luck, and cheers to the new you!
2. Finding Fun in Single Life
2-1. Try something new.
The time and energy you used to dedicate towards your ex and your relationship can now be transferred and directed towards priority number one: you! Relationships, even good ones, often end up "merging" people a bit -- you pick up the same hobbies, patterns, and friends. But being single again is a chance to think once more about you, who you want to be, and what you want to do.
Ask yourself -- "what do I want?" Are there things you wanted to do with your ex, but couldn't? Hobbies you put on the shelf when the relationship kicked off? New things you've never had time to try? Now is the time to ask the question, because your answers no longer have to take the other person into consideration.
2-2. Invest in your future with a gym membership, online class, new career goal, etc.
Your energy, money, and time are now all yours -- so put them to good use. A great way to get out of the rut is to plan your life outside of your romantic encounters. Focus on things that have nothing to do with dating or sex, and commit to making yourself a better person. You'll be more confident, happier, and better suited for the single lifestyle.
2-3. Say "Yes" to life.
The best part about being single is waking up every morning not knowing exactly where the day will take you. Being in a relationship can be so predictable and has a tendency to feel like a love song on repeat. It gives you those butterflies in your stomach and all those other cheese ball effects, but after a while, it can start to feel dull or routine. But now is the chance to say "yes" to any odd opportunity you feel like. If you have a friend who plays in a band, tag along to one of their shows or plan a weekend getaway for just you and your pals. Do anything! Try everything! But most importantly, say yes to opportunities that present themselves to you. This is the best time to explore and be adventurous. It is valuable to discover new things about yourself and even learn about things you may be afraid of or unfamiliar with.
2-4. Get a little sexy.
A big rut in most relationships is the "sweatpants phase," where neither of you really need to tend to impress the other with looks. It can be easy to carry this trend into single life, but the boost happiness and self-confidence that comes from your own sex appeal can't be ignored. Start dressing like you're single again and you'll feel single again in no time.
Work out -- not just for the looks, but for the proven emotional and health benefits.
Try to keep a smile on your face, even with strangers.
2-5. Return to dating slowly, whenever you're ready.
Just because you're avoiding relationships does not mean flirting and dating are off the table. If you play your cards right, a good flirtatious interaction can boost your self-confidence and effortlessly remind you that being single is fun. It's too soon to get back on the serious-relationship horse, but it's perfectly fine to take a casual ride here and there. Dating different types of people helps to refine your overall likes and dislikes, and this could be key in determining what you are looking for in the next relationship when you are finally ready again.
Again, there is no perfect amount of time to wait until if you want to start dating. And there is no line you can or can't cross. If all you want to do is flirt and chat -- go for it. If you want to go out to dinner with a Tinder flame or online match, you should do that too.
The important thing is to keep your mind open. One date does not mean you're in another long-term relationship if you don't want it.
Tips
Take things on your schedule -- you know yourself best. That said, your friends will likely try to cheer you up for a reason. Recognize, even if you don't want to hang out right now, that they do this because they love you.
Warnings
In general, it is best not to talk to or contact your ex for a few months, or at least until you feel sane and single again.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Moving on After Serious Relationships\\n1-1. Stop blaming yourself for how things ended.\\nIt does not matter who ended things, or who said what. If you broke up, it meant that one or both of you weren't right for each other, and though it is hard to acknowledge, this makes the break up a good thing in the long run. But that is for down the road -- for now, the only thing to remember is that this isn't your fault. Relationships are a two-way street -- and it is no one's fault when they don't work out. So stop beating yourself up. It's not worth the emotional energy.\\n1-2. Give yourself some time to be sad.\\nEveryone is going to be telling you \\\"it's going to be fine,\\\" \\\"you were too good for him anyway,\\\" and other platitudes to try and cheer you up. But the truth is that you're going to be sad, and fighting it off or ignoring that sadness will only make it last longer. The trick isn't to avoid sadness but put a deadline on it. Let yourself be sad for a week or so -- eat the ice cream, watch the sad movies, and have a good cry. But once your week is over, it is time to pick up the pieces and move forward.\\nThere is no right amount of time to be sad. However, you should not let your sadness destroy your everyday life and other relationships.\\nWhile colloquial, there is some evidence that most people feel \\\"normal\\\" again after roughly three weeks.\\n1-3. Understand that being single will feel weird, foreign, and uncomfortable at first.\\nBut you must also know being single is not the weird part -- you're just adjusting to something new. Being in a relationship impacts almost every part of your life, so losing that constant force may make everything feel different and strange. But this is just your brain and body shifting into single gear -- it has nothing to do with your decision, or a permanent change in your personality.\\n1-4. Remove pictures, items, and memories of your ex from regular view.\\nConstant reminders of your old relationship will make it much harder to feel single. You don't have to throw anything away if you don't want, but put it all in a box in the basement for the time being. Even if you don't think you need to get rid of stuff, or feel bad doing it, you should do a light purge.\\nInvite a sympathetic friend to help out if this is emotionally difficult. It will take half the time, and you'll have a support system to boot.\\n1-5. Mix things up with a vacation, furniture shuffle, or a new outfit.\\nDon't go out and change your whole life now that you're single, of course. But a few cosmetic changes, ones you might not have made with a partner, make the rest of the changes in your life much easier to swallow. Even a weekend trip or hike can be enough to shake off some of the sadness and see things in a different light.\\nChanging your surroundings, even temporarily, is a good way to put your \\\"normal life\\\" in perspective, helping cope with your difficult or painful emotions.\\n1-6. Rekindle and strengthen your friendships and support network.\\nIf you have good friends, they've most likely been passively but patiently there for you throughout your whole relationship. Use this time to go out and make up for all those lost times and declined invitations. Now, you have the chance to bond with your old friends and the freedom to make new ones. Friendships are very positive, and the stronger they are, the more they'll help you get through this tricky period.\\n1-7. Recognize and be proud of yourself, knowing that you aren't defined by who you're dating.\\nBeing single is a blessing, and it is a vital part of growing up and learning more about yourself. The states of singleness found between intervals of relationships can be the most rewarding times in your life. These are the times when you grow stronger and redefine your priorities and interests as an individual. Good luck, and cheers to the new you!\\n2. Finding Fun in Single Life\\n2-1. Try something new.\\nThe time and energy you used to dedicate towards your ex and your relationship can now be transferred and directed towards priority number one: you! Relationships, even good ones, often end up \\\"merging\\\" people a bit -- you pick up the same hobbies, patterns, and friends. But being single again is a chance to think once more about you, who you want to be, and what you want to do.\\nAsk yourself -- \\\"what do I want?\\\" Are there things you wanted to do with your ex, but couldn't? Hobbies you put on the shelf when the relationship kicked off? New things you've never had time to try? Now is the time to ask the question, because your answers no longer have to take the other person into consideration.\\n2-2. Invest in your future with a gym membership, online class, new career goal, etc.\\nYour energy, money, and time are now all yours -- so put them to good use. A great way to get out of the rut is to plan your life outside of your romantic encounters. Focus on things that have nothing to do with dating or sex, and commit to making yourself a better person. You'll be more confident, happier, and better suited for the single lifestyle.\\n2-3. Say \\\"Yes\\\" to life.\\nThe best part about being single is waking up every morning not knowing exactly where the day will take you. Being in a relationship can be so predictable and has a tendency to feel like a love song on repeat. It gives you those butterflies in your stomach and all those other cheese ball effects, but after a while, it can start to feel dull or routine. But now is the chance to say \\\"yes\\\" to any odd opportunity you feel like. If you have a friend who plays in a band, tag along to one of their shows or plan a weekend getaway for just you and your pals. Do anything! Try everything! But most importantly, say yes to opportunities that present themselves to you. This is the best time to explore and be adventurous. It is valuable to discover new things about yourself and even learn about things you may be afraid of or unfamiliar with.\\n2-4. Get a little sexy.\\nA big rut in most relationships is the \\\"sweatpants phase,\\\" where neither of you really need to tend to impress the other with looks. It can be easy to carry this trend into single life, but the boost happiness and self-confidence that comes from your own sex appeal can't be ignored. Start dressing like you're single again and you'll feel single again in no time.\\nWork out -- not just for the looks, but for the proven emotional and health benefits.\\nTry to keep a smile on your face, even with strangers.\\n2-5. Return to dating slowly, whenever you're ready.\\nJust because you're avoiding relationships does not mean flirting and dating are off the table. If you play your cards right, a good flirtatious interaction can boost your self-confidence and effortlessly remind you that being single is fun. It's too soon to get back on the serious-relationship horse, but it's perfectly fine to take a casual ride here and there. Dating different types of people helps to refine your overall likes and dislikes, and this could be key in determining what you are looking for in the next relationship when you are finally ready again.\\nAgain, there is no perfect amount of time to wait until if you want to start dating. And there is no line you can or can't cross. If all you want to do is flirt and chat -- go for it. If you want to go out to dinner with a Tinder flame or online match, you should do that too.\\nThe important thing is to keep your mind open. One date does not mean you're in another long-term relationship if you don't want it.\\nTips\\nTake things on your schedule -- you know yourself best. That said, your friends will likely try to cheer you up for a reason. Recognize, even if you don't want to hang out right now, that they do this because they love you.\\nWarnings\\nIn general, it is best not to talk to or contact your ex for a few months, or at least until you feel sane and single again.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"After being in a serious relationship for such a long time, it can feel near to impossible to remember who you were before it all started, and it can be even harder to become that person again once you've remembered. The following tips can push you quickly and effectively out of post-breakup depression and can help revive that lost sense of singleness, which is really what this is all about.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Moving on After Serious Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stop blaming yourself for how things ended.\", \"描述\": \"It does not matter who ended things, or who said what. If you broke up, it meant that one or both of you weren't right for each other, and though it is hard to acknowledge, this makes the break up a good thing in the long run. But that is for down the road -- for now, the only thing to remember is that this isn't your fault. Relationships are a two-way street -- and it is no one's fault when they don't work out. So stop beating yourself up. It's not worth the emotional energy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give yourself some time to be sad.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone is going to be telling you \\\"it's going to be fine,\\\" \\\"you were too good for him anyway,\\\" and other platitudes to try and cheer you up. But the truth is that you're going to be sad, and fighting it off or ignoring that sadness will only make it last longer. The trick isn't to avoid sadness but put a deadline on it. Let yourself be sad for a week or so -- eat the ice cream, watch the sad movies, and have a good cry. But once your week is over, it is time to pick up the pieces and move forward.\\nThere is no right amount of time to be sad. However, you should not let your sadness destroy your everyday life and other relationships.\\nWhile colloquial, there is some evidence that most people feel \\\"normal\\\" again after roughly three weeks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand that being single will feel weird, foreign, and uncomfortable at first.\", \"描述\": \"But you must also know being single is not the weird part -- you're just adjusting to something new. Being in a relationship impacts almost every part of your life, so losing that constant force may make everything feel different and strange. But this is just your brain and body shifting into single gear -- it has nothing to do with your decision, or a permanent change in your personality.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remove pictures, items, and memories of your ex from regular view.\", \"描述\": \"Constant reminders of your old relationship will make it much harder to feel single. You don't have to throw anything away if you don't want, but put it all in a box in the basement for the time being. Even if you don't think you need to get rid of stuff, or feel bad doing it, you should do a light purge.\\nInvite a sympathetic friend to help out if this is emotionally difficult. It will take half the time, and you'll have a support system to boot.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Mix things up with a vacation, furniture shuffle, or a new outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Don't go out and change your whole life now that you're single, of course. But a few cosmetic changes, ones you might not have made with a partner, make the rest of the changes in your life much easier to swallow. Even a weekend trip or hike can be enough to shake off some of the sadness and see things in a different light.\\nChanging your surroundings, even temporarily, is a good way to put your \\\"normal life\\\" in perspective, helping cope with your difficult or painful emotions.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Rekindle and strengthen your friendships and support network.\", \"描述\": \"If you have good friends, they've most likely been passively but patiently there for you throughout your whole relationship. Use this time to go out and make up for all those lost times and declined invitations. Now, you have the chance to bond with your old friends and the freedom to make new ones. Friendships are very positive, and the stronger they are, the more they'll help you get through this tricky period.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Recognize and be proud of yourself, knowing that you aren't defined by who you're dating.\", \"描述\": \"Being single is a blessing, and it is a vital part of growing up and learning more about yourself. The states of singleness found between intervals of relationships can be the most rewarding times in your life. These are the times when you grow stronger and redefine your priorities and interests as an individual. Good luck, and cheers to the new you!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding Fun in Single Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try something new.\", \"描述\": \"The time and energy you used to dedicate towards your ex and your relationship can now be transferred and directed towards priority number one: you! Relationships, even good ones, often end up \\\"merging\\\" people a bit -- you pick up the same hobbies, patterns, and friends. But being single again is a chance to think once more about you, who you want to be, and what you want to do.\\nAsk yourself -- \\\"what do I want?\\\" Are there things you wanted to do with your ex, but couldn't? Hobbies you put on the shelf when the relationship kicked off? New things you've never had time to try? Now is the time to ask the question, because your answers no longer have to take the other person into consideration.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invest in your future with a gym membership, online class, new career goal, etc.\", \"描述\": \"Your energy, money, and time are now all yours -- so put them to good use. A great way to get out of the rut is to plan your life outside of your romantic encounters. Focus on things that have nothing to do with dating or sex, and commit to making yourself a better person. You'll be more confident, happier, and better suited for the single lifestyle.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"Yes\\\" to life.\", \"描述\": \"The best part about being single is waking up every morning not knowing exactly where the day will take you. Being in a relationship can be so predictable and has a tendency to feel like a love song on repeat. It gives you those butterflies in your stomach and all those other cheese ball effects, but after a while, it can start to feel dull or routine. But now is the chance to say \\\"yes\\\" to any odd opportunity you feel like. If you have a friend who plays in a band, tag along to one of their shows or plan a weekend getaway for just you and your pals. Do anything! Try everything! But most importantly, say yes to opportunities that present themselves to you. This is the best time to explore and be adventurous. It is valuable to discover new things about yourself and even learn about things you may be afraid of or unfamiliar with.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get a little sexy.\", \"描述\": \"A big rut in most relationships is the \\\"sweatpants phase,\\\" where neither of you really need to tend to impress the other with looks. It can be easy to carry this trend into single life, but the boost happiness and self-confidence that comes from your own sex appeal can't be ignored. Start dressing like you're single again and you'll feel single again in no time.\\nWork out -- not just for the looks, but for the proven emotional and health benefits.\\nTry to keep a smile on your face, even with strangers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Return to dating slowly, whenever you're ready.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you're avoiding relationships does not mean flirting and dating are off the table. If you play your cards right, a good flirtatious interaction can boost your self-confidence and effortlessly remind you that being single is fun. It's too soon to get back on the serious-relationship horse, but it's perfectly fine to take a casual ride here and there. Dating different types of people helps to refine your overall likes and dislikes, and this could be key in determining what you are looking for in the next relationship when you are finally ready again.\\nAgain, there is no perfect amount of time to wait until if you want to start dating. And there is no line you can or can't cross. If all you want to do is flirt and chat -- go for it. If you want to go out to dinner with a Tinder flame or online match, you should do that too.\\nThe important thing is to keep your mind open. One date does not mean you're in another long-term relationship if you don't want it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take things on your schedule -- you know yourself best. That said, your friends will likely try to cheer you up for a reason. Recognize, even if you don't want to hang out right now, that they do this because they love you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"In general, it is best not to talk to or contact your ex for a few months, or at least until you feel sane and single again.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,156 | How to Be Single Minded | 1. Steps
1-1. Define "single-minded":
It is an adjective meaning: 1) Determined 2) Having one overriding purpose or goal. 3) Steadfast; resolute. Now let's define "focus". 1) The concentration of attention or energy on something. The opposite of this would be "absent-minded", "scattered", or perhaps just "distracted."
1-2. Know that there are good forms of "single-mindedness" and bad forms.
Here's the difference.
The bad single minded: When one becomes so preoccupied with a task that they lose all grip with their daily responsibilities and accountability to others, this is obviously a form of self delusion. We often label these personality types as "self-centered" or "self obsessed", carrying a negative connotation. Often people that are mentally ill or mentally challenged will be seen doing the same movements over and over. This is hardly the "single-mindedness" we are after.
The good form of "single-minded" is the ability to block out distractions and erroneous thoughts in order to concentrate better. Your desire to become more single-minded will enable you to finish projects with more efficiency in less time.
1-3. Practice the common methods and some not so common methods to develop your power of focus:
Creating the environment is step 1. If it's a task where you are seated at a desk then you will need to clean the desk area and become more organized. At that time a new project starts with a "clean slate." Let's suppose you are trying to quit smoking. Create the environment to allow this to be possible. In other words on your quit date the house and car you occupy need to be "smokeless" in every way. No ashtrays, lighters, etc.
The power of "intention". This is a slightly different perspective than mere goal setting. Intention means on the deepest level figure out exactly what is you intend on creating, then affirming this to yourself and visualizing an approximate end result, i.e. being a non-smoker, finishing a work assignment, writing a college thesis, etc.
Set and setting. In other words "where" are you most likely be able to focus or accomplish your goal? With what external conditions around you are tolerable to your concentration abilities? For example if your intention is to be a non-smoker then you are more likely to succeed hanging out in a local gym, vs. the local bar. If you are trying to finish studying for college exams, you may want to create privacy vs. the kids running around and playing in your study space.
Set small steps and short term goals. Do this in writing in outline form. Breaking down the steps can help the mind from not getting overwhelmed.
Tips
There is another truth. "If you keep doing what you have always done, you will continue to get what you've always got!"
Sleep alone is probably the most overlooked activity you can change. Get quality sleep!
Remember, single steps can lead to single-mindedness! Simple steps can lead to a more creative and functional outlook. Work on the above steps and your life will change for the better.
Warnings
Don't rely on externals such as caffeine or the assorted "energy" drinks, as they may temporarily create some focused energy, they all have a "crash," meaning even less concentration!
Don't fall into the trap of making "single-mindedness" turn to obsession. The key to long term success is finding your own perfect balance.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Define \\\"single-minded\\\":\\nIt is an adjective meaning: 1) Determined 2) Having one overriding purpose or goal. 3) Steadfast; resolute. Now let's define \\\"focus\\\". 1) The concentration of attention or energy on something. The opposite of this would be \\\"absent-minded\\\", \\\"scattered\\\", or perhaps just \\\"distracted.\\\"\\n1-2. Know that there are good forms of \\\"single-mindedness\\\" and bad forms.\\nHere's the difference.\\nThe bad single minded: When one becomes so preoccupied with a task that they lose all grip with their daily responsibilities and accountability to others, this is obviously a form of self delusion. We often label these personality types as \\\"self-centered\\\" or \\\"self obsessed\\\", carrying a negative connotation. Often people that are mentally ill or mentally challenged will be seen doing the same movements over and over. This is hardly the \\\"single-mindedness\\\" we are after.\\nThe good form of \\\"single-minded\\\" is the ability to block out distractions and erroneous thoughts in order to concentrate better. Your desire to become more single-minded will enable you to finish projects with more efficiency in less time.\\n1-3. Practice the common methods and some not so common methods to develop your power of focus:\\nCreating the environment is step 1. If it's a task where you are seated at a desk then you will need to clean the desk area and become more organized. At that time a new project starts with a \\\"clean slate.\\\" Let's suppose you are trying to quit smoking. Create the environment to allow this to be possible. In other words on your quit date the house and car you occupy need to be \\\"smokeless\\\" in every way. No ashtrays, lighters, etc.\\nThe power of \\\"intention\\\". This is a slightly different perspective than mere goal setting. Intention means on the deepest level figure out exactly what is you intend on creating, then affirming this to yourself and visualizing an approximate end result, i.e. being a non-smoker, finishing a work assignment, writing a college thesis, etc.\\nSet and setting. In other words \\\"where\\\" are you most likely be able to focus or accomplish your goal? With what external conditions around you are tolerable to your concentration abilities? For example if your intention is to be a non-smoker then you are more likely to succeed hanging out in a local gym, vs. the local bar. If you are trying to finish studying for college exams, you may want to create privacy vs. the kids running around and playing in your study space.\\nSet small steps and short term goals. Do this in writing in outline form. Breaking down the steps can help the mind from not getting overwhelmed.\\nTips\\nThere is another truth. \\\"If you keep doing what you have always done, you will continue to get what you've always got!\\\"\\nSleep alone is probably the most overlooked activity you can change. Get quality sleep!\\nRemember, single steps can lead to single-mindedness! Simple steps can lead to a more creative and functional outlook. Work on the above steps and your life will change for the better.\\nWarnings\\nDon't rely on externals such as caffeine or the assorted \\\"energy\\\" drinks, as they may temporarily create some focused energy, they all have a \\\"crash,\\\" meaning even less concentration!\\nDon't fall into the trap of making \\\"single-mindedness\\\" turn to obsession. The key to long term success is finding your own perfect balance.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being \\\"single-minded\\\" has to do with the power of focus. Your ability to focus is ultimately your biggest ally in accomplishing tasks and projects. With practice this is an ability one can develop. Your level of achievement and success depends upon it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Define \\\"single-minded\\\":\", \"描述\": \"It is an adjective meaning: 1) Determined 2) Having one overriding purpose or goal. 3) Steadfast; resolute. Now let's define \\\"focus\\\". 1) The concentration of attention or energy on something. The opposite of this would be \\\"absent-minded\\\", \\\"scattered\\\", or perhaps just \\\"distracted.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know that there are good forms of \\\"single-mindedness\\\" and bad forms.\", \"描述\": \"Here's the difference.\\nThe bad single minded: When one becomes so preoccupied with a task that they lose all grip with their daily responsibilities and accountability to others, this is obviously a form of self delusion. We often label these personality types as \\\"self-centered\\\" or \\\"self obsessed\\\", carrying a negative connotation. Often people that are mentally ill or mentally challenged will be seen doing the same movements over and over. This is hardly the \\\"single-mindedness\\\" we are after.\\nThe good form of \\\"single-minded\\\" is the ability to block out distractions and erroneous thoughts in order to concentrate better. Your desire to become more single-minded will enable you to finish projects with more efficiency in less time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice the common methods and some not so common methods to develop your power of focus:\", \"描述\": \"Creating the environment is step 1. If it's a task where you are seated at a desk then you will need to clean the desk area and become more organized. At that time a new project starts with a \\\"clean slate.\\\" Let's suppose you are trying to quit smoking. Create the environment to allow this to be possible. In other words on your quit date the house and car you occupy need to be \\\"smokeless\\\" in every way. No ashtrays, lighters, etc.\\nThe power of \\\"intention\\\". This is a slightly different perspective than mere goal setting. Intention means on the deepest level figure out exactly what is you intend on creating, then affirming this to yourself and visualizing an approximate end result, i.e. being a non-smoker, finishing a work assignment, writing a college thesis, etc.\\nSet and setting. In other words \\\"where\\\" are you most likely be able to focus or accomplish your goal? With what external conditions around you are tolerable to your concentration abilities? For example if your intention is to be a non-smoker then you are more likely to succeed hanging out in a local gym, vs. the local bar. If you are trying to finish studying for college exams, you may want to create privacy vs. the kids running around and playing in your study space.\\nSet small steps and short term goals. Do this in writing in outline form. Breaking down the steps can help the mind from not getting overwhelmed.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"There is another truth. \\\"If you keep doing what you have always done, you will continue to get what you've always got!\\\"\\n\", \"Sleep alone is probably the most overlooked activity you can change. Get quality sleep!\\n\", \"Remember, single steps can lead to single-mindedness! Simple steps can lead to a more creative and functional outlook. Work on the above steps and your life will change for the better.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't rely on externals such as caffeine or the assorted \\\"energy\\\" drinks, as they may temporarily create some focused energy, they all have a \\\"crash,\\\" meaning even less concentration!\\n\", \"Don't fall into the trap of making \\\"single-mindedness\\\" turn to obsession. The key to long term success is finding your own perfect balance.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,157 | How to Be Single and Happy | 1. Considering the Benefits of Single Life
1-1. Consider the health benefits of being single.
Being single is associated with a decreased risk of adverse health effects from dysfunctional marriages or intimate relationships. Some studies have shown that bad relationships can actually make you physically unhealthy. But singles are more likely to be fit and healthy. Singles also tend to go to the gym more, eat better, and have lower stress levels.
Single people tend to be thinner than people who are in a relationship. One study found that people gain an average of 14 or more pounds after starting a relationship.
Single people also get more, good quality sleep than people who share a bed with a partner.
Single women have better mental health than married women, especially married women who have children.
1-2. Appreciate your freedom to spend your time how you want.
When you are in a relationship, you can’t disregard the needs and desires of your partner. Sometimes you have to do things that you don’t want to do in order to keep your partner happy. But when you are single, you can spend your time how you want. You don’t need to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself. That means that you have more time for your hobbies, personal interests, career, and overall well-being. Enjoy this freedom while you are single!
Spend extra time on your hobbies. Did you want to write a song? Climb a mountain? Finish that big history book? Now is your chance! Make goals for yourself, and feel proud of your new accomplishments. Do something fun for yourself.
Work hard at your school or career. When you're single, it's easier to put in more work, because no significant other needs your attention. Try taking on an extra project, or putting additional effort into a difficult part. Enjoy the raised eyebrows as you impress people with what a hard worker you are.
Pamper yourself. Give yourself some extra care, and set aside time just for you. Read a good book, take a long hot bath, put on your fuzziest bathrobe, and listen to your favorite music. Now you can take extra good care of yourself.
1-3. Consider the financial benefits of being single.
When you are in a relationship, you may have to deal with a spouse who is irresponsible with his or her money. This can cause financial problems for you as well. But when you are single, you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s spending and saving habits. You can use the money you earn how you want to use it.
1-4. Enjoy the ability to maintain friendships and create new ones.
When you are in a relationship, it is much harder to maintain relationships with friends and make new friends because your partner consumes most of your time and affection. But when you are single, you have more time to devote to your friends and to go out and meet new people. Remind yourself of this when you are feeling down for being single. Consider the relationships that would suffer if you had a significant other who occupied most of your time and energy.
Work on the relationships you care most about, and build yourself a strong support network. Spend time with your loved ones, talk about your life and your fears, and you will feel more and more loved.
1-5. Savor the less frequent, but more enjoyable sex.
When you are in a relationship, you may have sex every day or at least a few times a week. When you are single, your sex life may be much less active than that. But studies have shown that although singles tend to have less sex, they enjoy it more than people who are in a relationship.
1-6. Know that you have the ability to seek out romantic relationships if you want to.
If you are still having a hard time seeing all of the benefits of being single, keep in mind that you can always seek out a romantic relationship if you are truly unhappy. Being single is not for everyone and some people thrive when they have the love and companionship of one person. Remind yourself that you can always seek out a relationship if you prefer.
Consider an online dating site to find people who are also looking for a committed relationship. Seeking out others who are interested in a relationship and not just casual dating may save you from some heartbreak later down the road.
2. Enjoying the Benefits of Single Life
2-1. Ignore media depictions of happy couples.
Part of the reason why some people may feel unhappy when they are single is because of media depictions that reinforce the idea that we need to be in a relationship to be happy. Try your best to ignore this message because it is not true. Avoid romantic comedies and magazines that reinforce the idea that being single is bleak and being in a relationship is bliss.
Depictions of being a single woman may be just as troubling because they are often idealized (a superwoman who has it all) or villainous (a sad lonely woman who has nothing). Neither of these depictions are realistic, so do your best to recognize them as false representations of what it’s like to be single.
2-2. Focus on becoming the best person you can be.
Being single is an opportunity to focus on yourself and work towards your ideal vision of who you want to be. Take classes, work out, grow a garden, do volunteer work, go to therapy, or do whatever your heart desires. Just remember that everything you do should be for you!
Concentrate on yourself while you are single and figure out what you like and don't like. Developing a stronger sense of who you are will help you as you go through life and it will also help you to identify people who you would be truly compatible with(if you ever choose to enter into a relationship again).
Take up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden, write a novel, cook some gourmet meals! Whatever you've ever wanted to do, do it now. Trying something new can lead to new skills, friendships, and increased self-esteem.
2-3. Treat yourself.
It is important to maintain a positive self-image while you are single. Buy yourself a new outfit, get your nails done, treat yourself to a spa day, or get a massage. Just because you don't have someone to impress or please doesn't mean you should stop doing nice things for yourself. You are a strong, independent person who deserves the best. So give it to yourself!
2-4. Surround yourself with supportive people.
Whether you’ve found yourself in the middle of a dating cold streak or recently gotten out of a serious relationship, spending too much time alone has the potential to make you feel even worse. Try to make plans with people as much as possible. If you don’t feel like any of your friends are supportive, consider joining a club or a gym to make some new friends.
While being supported by others might seem like a luxury that not everyone needs or can afford, psychologists now know that strong social relationships are actually essential to emotional well-being and physical health. So while you don’t necessarily need to be in an intimate relationship with another person to be happy, feeling supported by a group of people who you trust can be an essential part of being single and happy.
2-5. Encourage yourself.
Say things that you like about yourself to help yourself feel happy. Positive daily affirmations can help you to feel happier day by day. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include:
“I am intelligent.”
“I am a caring friend.”
“People enjoy spending time with me.”
2-6. Become an optimist
Being optimistic can help you to feel happier whether you are single, married, divorced, or widowed. Practicing optimism will help you to stay focused on the things that you like about yourself and your situation and stop dwelling on things you don’t like about yourself or your situation.
For example, instead of dwelling on something you dislike about being single, remind yourself of all the things you do like about being single, such as being able to flirt without feeling guilty and being able to do what you want with your free time.
Try keeping a gratitude diary. Every night, think of three things you are grateful for and write them down. Doing this every day will help you to develop a more positive outlook over time and it can even help you to sleep better and enjoy better health.
Tips
Value the things that you have, such as your creativity, your intelligence, your friends or your pet(s) as well as your newly-found independence.
Notice the support that you have by others and don't think it is just you against the world, your friends may be the ones that understand how you feel the most.
Appreciate all the good things you have going for you, such as good friends, family, and good health.
Warnings
Be cautious about getting into a new relationship. If you do find yourself in a new relationship, make sure you're over your last relationship. It's not fair to the new person, and it’s certainly not fair to you.
When flirting with others, be sure not to overdo it. Leading others on is so not attractive.
If you are severely depressed because you are single, consider talking to a mental health professional. You may have depression or another medical condition that requires treatment.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Considering the Benefits of Single Life\\n1-1. Consider the health benefits of being single.\\nBeing single is associated with a decreased risk of adverse health effects from dysfunctional marriages or intimate relationships. Some studies have shown that bad relationships can actually make you physically unhealthy. But singles are more likely to be fit and healthy. Singles also tend to go to the gym more, eat better, and have lower stress levels.\\nSingle people tend to be thinner than people who are in a relationship. One study found that people gain an average of 14 or more pounds after starting a relationship.\\nSingle people also get more, good quality sleep than people who share a bed with a partner.\\nSingle women have better mental health than married women, especially married women who have children.\\n1-2. Appreciate your freedom to spend your time how you want.\\nWhen you are in a relationship, you can’t disregard the needs and desires of your partner. Sometimes you have to do things that you don’t want to do in order to keep your partner happy. But when you are single, you can spend your time how you want. You don’t need to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself. That means that you have more time for your hobbies, personal interests, career, and overall well-being. Enjoy this freedom while you are single!\\nSpend extra time on your hobbies. Did you want to write a song? Climb a mountain? Finish that big history book? Now is your chance! Make goals for yourself, and feel proud of your new accomplishments. Do something fun for yourself.\\nWork hard at your school or career. When you're single, it's easier to put in more work, because no significant other needs your attention. Try taking on an extra project, or putting additional effort into a difficult part. Enjoy the raised eyebrows as you impress people with what a hard worker you are.\\nPamper yourself. Give yourself some extra care, and set aside time just for you. Read a good book, take a long hot bath, put on your fuzziest bathrobe, and listen to your favorite music. Now you can take extra good care of yourself.\\n1-3. Consider the financial benefits of being single.\\nWhen you are in a relationship, you may have to deal with a spouse who is irresponsible with his or her money. This can cause financial problems for you as well. But when you are single, you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s spending and saving habits. You can use the money you earn how you want to use it.\\n1-4. Enjoy the ability to maintain friendships and create new ones.\\nWhen you are in a relationship, it is much harder to maintain relationships with friends and make new friends because your partner consumes most of your time and affection. But when you are single, you have more time to devote to your friends and to go out and meet new people. Remind yourself of this when you are feeling down for being single. Consider the relationships that would suffer if you had a significant other who occupied most of your time and energy.\\nWork on the relationships you care most about, and build yourself a strong support network. Spend time with your loved ones, talk about your life and your fears, and you will feel more and more loved.\\n1-5. Savor the less frequent, but more enjoyable sex.\\nWhen you are in a relationship, you may have sex every day or at least a few times a week. When you are single, your sex life may be much less active than that. But studies have shown that although singles tend to have less sex, they enjoy it more than people who are in a relationship.\\n1-6. Know that you have the ability to seek out romantic relationships if you want to.\\nIf you are still having a hard time seeing all of the benefits of being single, keep in mind that you can always seek out a romantic relationship if you are truly unhappy. Being single is not for everyone and some people thrive when they have the love and companionship of one person. Remind yourself that you can always seek out a relationship if you prefer.\\nConsider an online dating site to find people who are also looking for a committed relationship. Seeking out others who are interested in a relationship and not just casual dating may save you from some heartbreak later down the road.\\n2. Enjoying the Benefits of Single Life\\n2-1. Ignore media depictions of happy couples.\\nPart of the reason why some people may feel unhappy when they are single is because of media depictions that reinforce the idea that we need to be in a relationship to be happy. Try your best to ignore this message because it is not true. Avoid romantic comedies and magazines that reinforce the idea that being single is bleak and being in a relationship is bliss.\\nDepictions of being a single woman may be just as troubling because they are often idealized (a superwoman who has it all) or villainous (a sad lonely woman who has nothing). Neither of these depictions are realistic, so do your best to recognize them as false representations of what it’s like to be single.\\n2-2. Focus on becoming the best person you can be.\\nBeing single is an opportunity to focus on yourself and work towards your ideal vision of who you want to be. Take classes, work out, grow a garden, do volunteer work, go to therapy, or do whatever your heart desires. Just remember that everything you do should be for you!\\nConcentrate on yourself while you are single and figure out what you like and don't like. Developing a stronger sense of who you are will help you as you go through life and it will also help you to identify people who you would be truly compatible with(if you ever choose to enter into a relationship again).\\nTake up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden, write a novel, cook some gourmet meals! Whatever you've ever wanted to do, do it now. Trying something new can lead to new skills, friendships, and increased self-esteem.\\n2-3. Treat yourself.\\nIt is important to maintain a positive self-image while you are single. Buy yourself a new outfit, get your nails done, treat yourself to a spa day, or get a massage. Just because you don't have someone to impress or please doesn't mean you should stop doing nice things for yourself. You are a strong, independent person who deserves the best. So give it to yourself!\\n2-4. Surround yourself with supportive people.\\nWhether you’ve found yourself in the middle of a dating cold streak or recently gotten out of a serious relationship, spending too much time alone has the potential to make you feel even worse. Try to make plans with people as much as possible. If you don’t feel like any of your friends are supportive, consider joining a club or a gym to make some new friends.\\nWhile being supported by others might seem like a luxury that not everyone needs or can afford, psychologists now know that strong social relationships are actually essential to emotional well-being and physical health. So while you don’t necessarily need to be in an intimate relationship with another person to be happy, feeling supported by a group of people who you trust can be an essential part of being single and happy.\\n2-5. Encourage yourself.\\nSay things that you like about yourself to help yourself feel happy. Positive daily affirmations can help you to feel happier day by day. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include:\\n“I am intelligent.”\\n“I am a caring friend.”\\n“People enjoy spending time with me.”\\n2-6. Become an optimist\\nBeing optimistic can help you to feel happier whether you are single, married, divorced, or widowed. Practicing optimism will help you to stay focused on the things that you like about yourself and your situation and stop dwelling on things you don’t like about yourself or your situation.\\nFor example, instead of dwelling on something you dislike about being single, remind yourself of all the things you do like about being single, such as being able to flirt without feeling guilty and being able to do what you want with your free time.\\nTry keeping a gratitude diary. Every night, think of three things you are grateful for and write them down. Doing this every day will help you to develop a more positive outlook over time and it can even help you to sleep better and enjoy better health.\\nTips\\nValue the things that you have, such as your creativity, your intelligence, your friends or your pet(s) as well as your newly-found independence.\\nNotice the support that you have by others and don't think it is just you against the world, your friends may be the ones that understand how you feel the most.\\nAppreciate all the good things you have going for you, such as good friends, family, and good health.\\nWarnings\\nBe cautious about getting into a new relationship. If you do find yourself in a new relationship, make sure you're over your last relationship. It's not fair to the new person, and it’s certainly not fair to you.\\nWhen flirting with others, be sure not to overdo it. Leading others on is so not attractive.\\nIf you are severely depressed because you are single, consider talking to a mental health professional. You may have depression or another medical condition that requires treatment.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you recently broken up with a significant other and find yourself struggling to be happy? Or maybe you’ve been single too long and feel like you’ll never be happy until you find your soulmate? It might seem like you’ll never be able to be happy and single, but it’s really not so different than being happy under any other conditions. By finding out exactly what you’re passionate about and cultivating its presence in your life as much as possible, you can learn to be happy in a way that doesn’t depend on your relationship status. Keep reading to learn more about how to be happy and single.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Considering the Benefits of Single Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider the health benefits of being single.\", \"描述\": \"Being single is associated with a decreased risk of adverse health effects from dysfunctional marriages or intimate relationships. Some studies have shown that bad relationships can actually make you physically unhealthy. But singles are more likely to be fit and healthy. Singles also tend to go to the gym more, eat better, and have lower stress levels.\\nSingle people tend to be thinner than people who are in a relationship. One study found that people gain an average of 14 or more pounds after starting a relationship.\\nSingle people also get more, good quality sleep than people who share a bed with a partner.\\nSingle women have better mental health than married women, especially married women who have children.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Appreciate your freedom to spend your time how you want.\", \"描述\": \"When you are in a relationship, you can’t disregard the needs and desires of your partner. Sometimes you have to do things that you don’t want to do in order to keep your partner happy. But when you are single, you can spend your time how you want. You don’t need to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself. That means that you have more time for your hobbies, personal interests, career, and overall well-being. Enjoy this freedom while you are single!\\nSpend extra time on your hobbies. Did you want to write a song? Climb a mountain? Finish that big history book? Now is your chance! Make goals for yourself, and feel proud of your new accomplishments. Do something fun for yourself.\\nWork hard at your school or career. When you're single, it's easier to put in more work, because no significant other needs your attention. Try taking on an extra project, or putting additional effort into a difficult part. Enjoy the raised eyebrows as you impress people with what a hard worker you are.\\nPamper yourself. Give yourself some extra care, and set aside time just for you. Read a good book, take a long hot bath, put on your fuzziest bathrobe, and listen to your favorite music. Now you can take extra good care of yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider the financial benefits of being single.\", \"描述\": \"When you are in a relationship, you may have to deal with a spouse who is irresponsible with his or her money. This can cause financial problems for you as well. But when you are single, you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s spending and saving habits. You can use the money you earn how you want to use it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the ability to maintain friendships and create new ones.\", \"描述\": \"When you are in a relationship, it is much harder to maintain relationships with friends and make new friends because your partner consumes most of your time and affection. But when you are single, you have more time to devote to your friends and to go out and meet new people. Remind yourself of this when you are feeling down for being single. Consider the relationships that would suffer if you had a significant other who occupied most of your time and energy.\\nWork on the relationships you care most about, and build yourself a strong support network. Spend time with your loved ones, talk about your life and your fears, and you will feel more and more loved.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Savor the less frequent, but more enjoyable sex.\", \"描述\": \"When you are in a relationship, you may have sex every day or at least a few times a week. When you are single, your sex life may be much less active than that. But studies have shown that although singles tend to have less sex, they enjoy it more than people who are in a relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know that you have the ability to seek out romantic relationships if you want to.\", \"描述\": \"If you are still having a hard time seeing all of the benefits of being single, keep in mind that you can always seek out a romantic relationship if you are truly unhappy. Being single is not for everyone and some people thrive when they have the love and companionship of one person. Remind yourself that you can always seek out a relationship if you prefer.\\nConsider an online dating site to find people who are also looking for a committed relationship. Seeking out others who are interested in a relationship and not just casual dating may save you from some heartbreak later down the road.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enjoying the Benefits of Single Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ignore media depictions of happy couples.\", \"描述\": \"Part of the reason why some people may feel unhappy when they are single is because of media depictions that reinforce the idea that we need to be in a relationship to be happy. Try your best to ignore this message because it is not true. Avoid romantic comedies and magazines that reinforce the idea that being single is bleak and being in a relationship is bliss.\\nDepictions of being a single woman may be just as troubling because they are often idealized (a superwoman who has it all) or villainous (a sad lonely woman who has nothing). Neither of these depictions are realistic, so do your best to recognize them as false representations of what it’s like to be single.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on becoming the best person you can be.\", \"描述\": \"Being single is an opportunity to focus on yourself and work towards your ideal vision of who you want to be. Take classes, work out, grow a garden, do volunteer work, go to therapy, or do whatever your heart desires. Just remember that everything you do should be for you!\\nConcentrate on yourself while you are single and figure out what you like and don't like. Developing a stronger sense of who you are will help you as you go through life and it will also help you to identify people who you would be truly compatible with(if you ever choose to enter into a relationship again).\\nTake up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden, write a novel, cook some gourmet meals! Whatever you've ever wanted to do, do it now. Trying something new can lead to new skills, friendships, and increased self-esteem.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to maintain a positive self-image while you are single. Buy yourself a new outfit, get your nails done, treat yourself to a spa day, or get a massage. Just because you don't have someone to impress or please doesn't mean you should stop doing nice things for yourself. You are a strong, independent person who deserves the best. So give it to yourself!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with supportive people.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’ve found yourself in the middle of a dating cold streak or recently gotten out of a serious relationship, spending too much time alone has the potential to make you feel even worse. Try to make plans with people as much as possible. If you don’t feel like any of your friends are supportive, consider joining a club or a gym to make some new friends.\\nWhile being supported by others might seem like a luxury that not everyone needs or can afford, psychologists now know that strong social relationships are actually essential to emotional well-being and physical health. So while you don’t necessarily need to be in an intimate relationship with another person to be happy, feeling supported by a group of people who you trust can be an essential part of being single and happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Encourage yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Say things that you like about yourself to help yourself feel happy. Positive daily affirmations can help you to feel happier day by day. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include:\\n“I am intelligent.”\\n“I am a caring friend.”\\n“People enjoy spending time with me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Become an optimist\", \"描述\": \"Being optimistic can help you to feel happier whether you are single, married, divorced, or widowed. Practicing optimism will help you to stay focused on the things that you like about yourself and your situation and stop dwelling on things you don’t like about yourself or your situation.\\nFor example, instead of dwelling on something you dislike about being single, remind yourself of all the things you do like about being single, such as being able to flirt without feeling guilty and being able to do what you want with your free time.\\nTry keeping a gratitude diary. Every night, think of three things you are grateful for and write them down. Doing this every day will help you to develop a more positive outlook over time and it can even help you to sleep better and enjoy better health.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Value the things that you have, such as your creativity, your intelligence, your friends or your pet(s) as well as your newly-found independence.\\n\", \"Notice the support that you have by others and don't think it is just you against the world, your friends may be the ones that understand how you feel the most.\\n\", \"Appreciate all the good things you have going for you, such as good friends, family, and good health.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be cautious about getting into a new relationship. If you do find yourself in a new relationship, make sure you're over your last relationship. It's not fair to the new person, and it’s certainly not fair to you.\\n\", \"When flirting with others, be sure not to overdo it. Leading others on is so not attractive.\\n\", \"If you are severely depressed because you are single, consider talking to a mental health professional. You may have depression or another medical condition that requires treatment.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,158 | How to Be Single and Happy in Your 30s | 1. Enjoy your freedom.
You can stay out as late as you want without checking in.
If you want to take the day off and head to the beach, you can! People who aren’t single have another person’s schedule to worry about, but you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Enjoy it!
It’s always good to tell at least one person where you’re going, especially if you’re alone. Shoot your mom or a close friend a text before you head out into the woods for the weekend, just to be safe.
2. Appreciate your living space.
It can be as clean or as messy as you want it to be.
If you hate dishes stacked in the sink, take it upon yourself to clean them early. Or, if you don’t mind a bit of clutter, leave the house a bit messier. It’s up to you to decide how you decorate and exist in your space.
Plus, when you’re single, you can probably get a smaller place (and a smaller place means less cleaning for you!).
3. Date yourself.
Treat yourself to dinners and fun adventures.
If there’s a new restaurant you’ve been dying to try out, go for it! If you want to see a new movie, head to the theater and do it! You can do anything you want on your own time.
Another benefit to being single is that you don’t have to compromise with anyone. If you don’t want tacos, then you don’t have to get them. If you prefer action movies, you never have to watch a chick flick.
4. Dive into your career.
Focus on propelling yourself forward into new opportunities.
You don’t have to be a workaholic, but you can take advantage of the fact that no one’s going to be mad if you get home late. Attend seminars, take extra classes, and work your way up in your field to get fulfillment out of your job.
If you don’t like the career you’re in now, change it! It’s never too late to go back to school or take some vocational classes to switch your field.
5. Take time to travel.
Spend your money on fun trips and excursions.
If you’ve always wanted to go abroad but you’ve never been, book a flight! You can invite a few friends with you or simply go on your own. When you travel alone, you can do anything whenever you want on your own schedule.
If heading overseas sounds a little daunting, try taking a road trip instead.
6. Explore a new hobby.
What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?
Maybe you could dip your toe into doing roller derby or softball. Or, you could buy a drone and practice flying it around the park. Use your free time to learn a new skill or try something fun that you haven’t had a chance to.
Try joining a club or a hobby group to meet other people who share your similar interests.
7. Give back to your community.
Volunteer at an animal shelter or a local hospital.
Use your free time to give back to the members in your community who may be less fortunate. Volunteering can help you feel fulfilled and even make you happier in your daily life.
If you have the space, you could even foster a pet until they find their forever home.
8. Strengthen your friendships.
You don’t need to be in a relationship to have strong connections.
Focus on bonding with the friends you already have and making new friends to feel fulfilled. Go out to dinner, have a fun weekend with friends, and work on fostering strong relationships with people that you love.
Focusing on your friendships can help distract you from the desire to have a partner. If you hang out with cool people that you love, you’re less likely to feel lonely.
If you don’t have kids yet but your friends do, see if you can babysit for them. It will be a good way to spend some time with children if you don’t have any of your own.
9. Get some quality sleep.
Studies show that single people sleep better than those in relationships.
Invest in a nice, comfy bed with as many or as few pillows as you want. You can lie sideways, diagonal, or even straight down the middle! Take advantage of sleeping on your own by appreciating it while you have it.
Another perk of being single: you can go to bed whenever you want! No more fighting about going to sleep too early or sleeping in too late.
10. Stay physically active.
It will keep you happier and healthier.
Research shows that single people tend to be in better shape than their married counterparts. Use your free time to hit the gym, go for a jog, or swim some laps. Your body will thank you!
Try joining a hiking group to get some exercise out in nature.
Tips
Don’t feel pressured by anyone else around you. There’s no rush to get into a relationship, especially if you’re happy on your own.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Enjoy your freedom.\\nYou can stay out as late as you want without checking in.\\nIf you want to take the day off and head to the beach, you can! People who aren’t single have another person’s schedule to worry about, but you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Enjoy it!\\nIt’s always good to tell at least one person where you’re going, especially if you’re alone. Shoot your mom or a close friend a text before you head out into the woods for the weekend, just to be safe.\\n2. Appreciate your living space.\\nIt can be as clean or as messy as you want it to be.\\nIf you hate dishes stacked in the sink, take it upon yourself to clean them early. Or, if you don’t mind a bit of clutter, leave the house a bit messier. It’s up to you to decide how you decorate and exist in your space.\\nPlus, when you’re single, you can probably get a smaller place (and a smaller place means less cleaning for you!).\\n3. Date yourself.\\nTreat yourself to dinners and fun adventures.\\nIf there’s a new restaurant you’ve been dying to try out, go for it! If you want to see a new movie, head to the theater and do it! You can do anything you want on your own time.\\nAnother benefit to being single is that you don’t have to compromise with anyone. If you don’t want tacos, then you don’t have to get them. If you prefer action movies, you never have to watch a chick flick.\\n4. Dive into your career.\\nFocus on propelling yourself forward into new opportunities.\\nYou don’t have to be a workaholic, but you can take advantage of the fact that no one’s going to be mad if you get home late. Attend seminars, take extra classes, and work your way up in your field to get fulfillment out of your job.\\nIf you don’t like the career you’re in now, change it! It’s never too late to go back to school or take some vocational classes to switch your field.\\n5. Take time to travel.\\nSpend your money on fun trips and excursions.\\nIf you’ve always wanted to go abroad but you’ve never been, book a flight! You can invite a few friends with you or simply go on your own. When you travel alone, you can do anything whenever you want on your own schedule.\\nIf heading overseas sounds a little daunting, try taking a road trip instead.\\n6. Explore a new hobby.\\nWhat’s something you’ve always wanted to try?\\nMaybe you could dip your toe into doing roller derby or softball. Or, you could buy a drone and practice flying it around the park. Use your free time to learn a new skill or try something fun that you haven’t had a chance to.\\nTry joining a club or a hobby group to meet other people who share your similar interests.\\n7. Give back to your community.\\nVolunteer at an animal shelter or a local hospital.\\nUse your free time to give back to the members in your community who may be less fortunate. Volunteering can help you feel fulfilled and even make you happier in your daily life.\\nIf you have the space, you could even foster a pet until they find their forever home.\\n8. Strengthen your friendships.\\nYou don’t need to be in a relationship to have strong connections.\\nFocus on bonding with the friends you already have and making new friends to feel fulfilled. Go out to dinner, have a fun weekend with friends, and work on fostering strong relationships with people that you love.\\nFocusing on your friendships can help distract you from the desire to have a partner. If you hang out with cool people that you love, you’re less likely to feel lonely.\\nIf you don’t have kids yet but your friends do, see if you can babysit for them. It will be a good way to spend some time with children if you don’t have any of your own.\\n9. Get some quality sleep.\\nStudies show that single people sleep better than those in relationships.\\nInvest in a nice, comfy bed with as many or as few pillows as you want. You can lie sideways, diagonal, or even straight down the middle! Take advantage of sleeping on your own by appreciating it while you have it.\\nAnother perk of being single: you can go to bed whenever you want! No more fighting about going to sleep too early or sleeping in too late.\\n10. Stay physically active.\\nIt will keep you happier and healthier.\\nResearch shows that single people tend to be in better shape than their married counterparts. Use your free time to hit the gym, go for a jog, or swim some laps. Your body will thank you!\\nTry joining a hiking group to get some exercise out in nature.\\nTips\\nDon’t feel pressured by anyone else around you. There’s no rush to get into a relationship, especially if you’re happy on your own.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re not in a relationship, it can feel like everyone you know has partnered up, especially as you hit your 30s. Being single isn’t a bad thing, though—in fact, it comes with a lot of perks! You get to experience freedom at a time in your life when you know what you want. On top of that, you can focus on yourself and pursue the things you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for! It’s totally possible to appreciate the single life for what it is.\\n\\nHere are 10 tips to help you embrace being single in your 30s.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy your freedom.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can stay out as late as you want without checking in.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to take the day off and head to the beach, you can! People who aren’t single have another person’s schedule to worry about, but you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Enjoy it!\\nIt’s always good to tell at least one person where you’re going, especially if you’re alone. Shoot your mom or a close friend a text before you head out into the woods for the weekend, just to be safe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Appreciate your living space.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It can be as clean or as messy as you want it to be.\", \"描述\": \"If you hate dishes stacked in the sink, take it upon yourself to clean them early. Or, if you don’t mind a bit of clutter, leave the house a bit messier. It’s up to you to decide how you decorate and exist in your space.\\nPlus, when you’re single, you can probably get a smaller place (and a smaller place means less cleaning for you!).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Date yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself to dinners and fun adventures.\", \"描述\": \"If there’s a new restaurant you’ve been dying to try out, go for it! If you want to see a new movie, head to the theater and do it! You can do anything you want on your own time.\\nAnother benefit to being single is that you don’t have to compromise with anyone. If you don’t want tacos, then you don’t have to get them. If you prefer action movies, you never have to watch a chick flick.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dive into your career.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on propelling yourself forward into new opportunities.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to be a workaholic, but you can take advantage of the fact that no one’s going to be mad if you get home late. Attend seminars, take extra classes, and work your way up in your field to get fulfillment out of your job.\\nIf you don’t like the career you’re in now, change it! It’s never too late to go back to school or take some vocational classes to switch your field.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take time to travel.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend your money on fun trips and excursions.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve always wanted to go abroad but you’ve never been, book a flight! You can invite a few friends with you or simply go on your own. When you travel alone, you can do anything whenever you want on your own schedule.\\nIf heading overseas sounds a little daunting, try taking a road trip instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Explore a new hobby.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you could dip your toe into doing roller derby or softball. Or, you could buy a drone and practice flying it around the park. Use your free time to learn a new skill or try something fun that you haven’t had a chance to.\\nTry joining a club or a hobby group to meet other people who share your similar interests.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give back to your community.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Volunteer at an animal shelter or a local hospital.\", \"描述\": \"Use your free time to give back to the members in your community who may be less fortunate. Volunteering can help you feel fulfilled and even make you happier in your daily life.\\nIf you have the space, you could even foster a pet until they find their forever home.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Strengthen your friendships.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don’t need to be in a relationship to have strong connections.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on bonding with the friends you already have and making new friends to feel fulfilled. Go out to dinner, have a fun weekend with friends, and work on fostering strong relationships with people that you love.\\nFocusing on your friendships can help distract you from the desire to have a partner. If you hang out with cool people that you love, you’re less likely to feel lonely.\\nIf you don’t have kids yet but your friends do, see if you can babysit for them. It will be a good way to spend some time with children if you don’t have any of your own.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Get some quality sleep.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Studies show that single people sleep better than those in relationships.\", \"描述\": \"Invest in a nice, comfy bed with as many or as few pillows as you want. You can lie sideways, diagonal, or even straight down the middle! Take advantage of sleeping on your own by appreciating it while you have it.\\nAnother perk of being single: you can go to bed whenever you want! No more fighting about going to sleep too early or sleeping in too late.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Stay physically active.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It will keep you happier and healthier.\", \"描述\": \"Research shows that single people tend to be in better shape than their married counterparts. Use your free time to hit the gym, go for a jog, or swim some laps. Your body will thank you!\\nTry joining a hiking group to get some exercise out in nature.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t feel pressured by anyone else around you. There’s no rush to get into a relationship, especially if you’re happy on your own.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,159 | How to Gain Muscle When You're Skinny | 1. Eat a diet that's high in carbohydrates.
Your body turns them into energy that's stored in your muscles.
Around 50-60% of your daily calories should come from carbs so you have plenty of fuel for your workouts. Although it's easy to fill up on carbs, reach for high-quality carbs that give you fiber and nutrients, like whole grains. For example, add these to your daily diet:
Oats, brown rice, and quinoa
Sweet potatoes and potatoes
Fruits like bananas, mangoes, avocadoes, and peaches
Vegetables like Brussels sprouts, carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower
2. Eat protein every 3 to 4 hours.
Give your body longer-lasting energy from nutritious protein sources.
Protein is also a great way to get more calories so you don't continue to lose weight. Try to get about 25% of your calories from protein. You might eat lean meat, tofu, nuts, or beans, for instance.
Protein shakes are also a great way to get calories throughout the day. You might sip one an hour before a workout or drink one before you go to bed.
3. Include healthy fats in your meals.
Eat monosaturated fats so your body can release hormones that build muscle.
Drizzle heart-healthy fats like olive oil, canola oil, or coconut oil over your food, or eat foods that are naturally high in healthy fats like avocados, salmon, sardines, and trout. Try to get 20 to 35% of your daily calories from monosaturated fat.
Skip the unhealthy fats found in fast food and packaged snacks since these are high in saturated- and trans-fats.
4. Add calories to your diet to build muscle.
Eat an extra 500 calories a day to support muscle growth.
If you're working out more and building muscle, your body needs more calories so you don't lose more weight. Aim for an extra 500 calories spread out across your meals.
Remember to reach for nutritious food instead of filling up on high-calorie snacks or convenience foods.
500 calories might sound like a lot, but if you add a few snacks to your daily diet, you can usually reach this. Try a handful of nuts, protein shakes, smoothies, or hardboiled eggs with crackers.
5. Snack 1 to 4 hours before you work out.
Reach for a fast-digesting carbohydrate and protein to give you energy.
You don't want to wear out too soon into your workout so fuel up beforehand. Snack on a piece of toast with nut butter and jam, for instance, or grab some grapes and a handful of nuts.
Drink water or a sports drink along with your pre-workout snack.
If you're going to work out for more than 1 hour, you may need to eat another small snack. For example, eat a rice cake with a hardboiled egg or a piece of cheese with a few berries.
6. Eat a post-workout meal 30 to 60 minutes after you're done.
Re-fuel your body so you can repair muscles and store energy.
If you're skinny, your body needs extra calories to build and support muscles so eat a meal that's high in carbohydrates once you've finished exercising. Aim for 3 or 4 parts carbohydrates to 1 part protein.
For example, eat a bowl of hot amaranth cereal with dried fruit and nuts or chia seeds.
7. Create a weight-training schedule.
Lift weights about 4 days a week.
To bulk up and tone your muscles, use high-resistance weights with a low number of repetitions. Specifically, aim to do 3 to 5 sets of 8 to 12 repetitions for each muscle group. To make your weight-training schedule interesting, you can switch up your focus each day. For example, on:
Day 1: work your chest and triceps with dips, overhead extensions, and incline dumbbell press
Day 2: work your back and biceps with seated barbell curls and wide-grip pull-ups
Day 3: work your legs and shoulders with leg presses, leg curls, and deadlifts
Day 4: rest
Day 5: do a total body workout where you target all of your major muscle groups
8. Schedule time to rest.
Take a day off every 3 or 4 days so your muscles can repair and recover.
You may work out Monday through Wednesday and take Thursday off, for instance. Then, do slower cardio work on the weekends. Don't forget to get plenty of rest every day, too. Try to sleep at least 8 hours a night so your body. Your body releases the majority of its growth hormones while you sleep, which is why a good night's rest is critical.
If you're extra tired from working out, take naps! You can also rest and relax by getting deep-tissue massages.
9. Limit cardio activities to 3 or 4 times a week.
Stick to 30-minute aerobic workouts so you don't burn too many calories.
High-intensity aerobic activities like running burn a lot of calories so you might find it hard to build muscle. Instead, plan on doing low-intensity activities no more than 3 times a week. Keep in mind that some days you'll be doing cardio and weights. This keeps up your cardiovascular health, but you shouldn't lose more weight. Low-intensity aerobic activities include:
Walking up and down hills
Doing a stair-climber machine
Cycling in a high gear
Walking on your treadmill
10. Keep active throughout the day.
Find ways to build muscle even when you're not doing a workout.
It can be hard to carve out workout time, but staying active is important for gaining muscle mass. If you're pretty sedentary during the day, try to get up and walk around or stretch every 30 minutes.
Just being more active every day can help you maintain the muscles that you've worked so hard to build.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Eat a diet that's high in carbohydrates.\\nYour body turns them into energy that's stored in your muscles.\\nAround 50-60% of your daily calories should come from carbs so you have plenty of fuel for your workouts. Although it's easy to fill up on carbs, reach for high-quality carbs that give you fiber and nutrients, like whole grains. For example, add these to your daily diet:\\nOats, brown rice, and quinoa\\nSweet potatoes and potatoes\\nFruits like bananas, mangoes, avocadoes, and peaches\\nVegetables like Brussels sprouts, carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower\\n2. Eat protein every 3 to 4 hours.\\nGive your body longer-lasting energy from nutritious protein sources.\\nProtein is also a great way to get more calories so you don't continue to lose weight. Try to get about 25% of your calories from protein. You might eat lean meat, tofu, nuts, or beans, for instance.\\nProtein shakes are also a great way to get calories throughout the day. You might sip one an hour before a workout or drink one before you go to bed.\\n3. Include healthy fats in your meals.\\nEat monosaturated fats so your body can release hormones that build muscle.\\nDrizzle heart-healthy fats like olive oil, canola oil, or coconut oil over your food, or eat foods that are naturally high in healthy fats like avocados, salmon, sardines, and trout. Try to get 20 to 35% of your daily calories from monosaturated fat.\\nSkip the unhealthy fats found in fast food and packaged snacks since these are high in saturated- and trans-fats.\\n4. Add calories to your diet to build muscle.\\nEat an extra 500 calories a day to support muscle growth.\\nIf you're working out more and building muscle, your body needs more calories so you don't lose more weight. Aim for an extra 500 calories spread out across your meals.\\nRemember to reach for nutritious food instead of filling up on high-calorie snacks or convenience foods.\\n500 calories might sound like a lot, but if you add a few snacks to your daily diet, you can usually reach this. Try a handful of nuts, protein shakes, smoothies, or hardboiled eggs with crackers.\\n5. Snack 1 to 4 hours before you work out.\\nReach for a fast-digesting carbohydrate and protein to give you energy.\\nYou don't want to wear out too soon into your workout so fuel up beforehand. Snack on a piece of toast with nut butter and jam, for instance, or grab some grapes and a handful of nuts.\\nDrink water or a sports drink along with your pre-workout snack.\\nIf you're going to work out for more than 1 hour, you may need to eat another small snack. For example, eat a rice cake with a hardboiled egg or a piece of cheese with a few berries.\\n6. Eat a post-workout meal 30 to 60 minutes after you're done.\\nRe-fuel your body so you can repair muscles and store energy.\\nIf you're skinny, your body needs extra calories to build and support muscles so eat a meal that's high in carbohydrates once you've finished exercising. Aim for 3 or 4 parts carbohydrates to 1 part protein.\\nFor example, eat a bowl of hot amaranth cereal with dried fruit and nuts or chia seeds.\\n7. Create a weight-training schedule.\\nLift weights about 4 days a week.\\nTo bulk up and tone your muscles, use high-resistance weights with a low number of repetitions. Specifically, aim to do 3 to 5 sets of 8 to 12 repetitions for each muscle group. To make your weight-training schedule interesting, you can switch up your focus each day. For example, on:\\nDay 1: work your chest and triceps with dips, overhead extensions, and incline dumbbell press\\nDay 2: work your back and biceps with seated barbell curls and wide-grip pull-ups\\nDay 3: work your legs and shoulders with leg presses, leg curls, and deadlifts\\nDay 4: rest\\nDay 5: do a total body workout where you target all of your major muscle groups\\n8. Schedule time to rest.\\nTake a day off every 3 or 4 days so your muscles can repair and recover.\\nYou may work out Monday through Wednesday and take Thursday off, for instance. Then, do slower cardio work on the weekends. Don't forget to get plenty of rest every day, too. Try to sleep at least 8 hours a night so your body. Your body releases the majority of its growth hormones while you sleep, which is why a good night's rest is critical.\\nIf you're extra tired from working out, take naps! You can also rest and relax by getting deep-tissue massages.\\n9. Limit cardio activities to 3 or 4 times a week.\\nStick to 30-minute aerobic workouts so you don't burn too many calories.\\nHigh-intensity aerobic activities like running burn a lot of calories so you might find it hard to build muscle. Instead, plan on doing low-intensity activities no more than 3 times a week. Keep in mind that some days you'll be doing cardio and weights. This keeps up your cardiovascular health, but you shouldn't lose more weight. Low-intensity aerobic activities include:\\nWalking up and down hills\\nDoing a stair-climber machine\\nCycling in a high gear\\nWalking on your treadmill\\n10. Keep active throughout the day.\\nFind ways to build muscle even when you're not doing a workout.\\nIt can be hard to carve out workout time, but staying active is important for gaining muscle mass. If you're pretty sedentary during the day, try to get up and walk around or stretch every 30 minutes.\\nJust being more active every day can help you maintain the muscles that you've worked so hard to build.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having a fast metabolism can be a blessing and a curse. You probably don't put on weight easily, but this also means it's hard to build muscles. Fortunately, it's not impossible—you just need a more personalized diet and exercise plan. If you're ready to get started, read our suggestions for gaining muscle mass while staying lean.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat a diet that's high in carbohydrates.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your body turns them into energy that's stored in your muscles.\", \"描述\": \"Around 50-60% of your daily calories should come from carbs so you have plenty of fuel for your workouts. Although it's easy to fill up on carbs, reach for high-quality carbs that give you fiber and nutrients, like whole grains. For example, add these to your daily diet:\\nOats, brown rice, and quinoa\\nSweet potatoes and potatoes\\nFruits like bananas, mangoes, avocadoes, and peaches\\nVegetables like Brussels sprouts, carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat protein every 3 to 4 hours.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your body longer-lasting energy from nutritious protein sources.\", \"描述\": \"Protein is also a great way to get more calories so you don't continue to lose weight. Try to get about 25% of your calories from protein. You might eat lean meat, tofu, nuts, or beans, for instance.\\nProtein shakes are also a great way to get calories throughout the day. You might sip one an hour before a workout or drink one before you go to bed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Include healthy fats in your meals.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat monosaturated fats so your body can release hormones that build muscle.\", \"描述\": \"Drizzle heart-healthy fats like olive oil, canola oil, or coconut oil over your food, or eat foods that are naturally high in healthy fats like avocados, salmon, sardines, and trout. Try to get 20 to 35% of your daily calories from monosaturated fat.\\nSkip the unhealthy fats found in fast food and packaged snacks since these are high in saturated- and trans-fats.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add calories to your diet to build muscle.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat an extra 500 calories a day to support muscle growth.\", \"描述\": \"If you're working out more and building muscle, your body needs more calories so you don't lose more weight. Aim for an extra 500 calories spread out across your meals.\\nRemember to reach for nutritious food instead of filling up on high-calorie snacks or convenience foods.\\n500 calories might sound like a lot, but if you add a few snacks to your daily diet, you can usually reach this. Try a handful of nuts, protein shakes, smoothies, or hardboiled eggs with crackers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Snack 1 to 4 hours before you work out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reach for a fast-digesting carbohydrate and protein to give you energy.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to wear out too soon into your workout so fuel up beforehand. Snack on a piece of toast with nut butter and jam, for instance, or grab some grapes and a handful of nuts.\\nDrink water or a sports drink along with your pre-workout snack.\\nIf you're going to work out for more than 1 hour, you may need to eat another small snack. For example, eat a rice cake with a hardboiled egg or a piece of cheese with a few berries.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Eat a post-workout meal 30 to 60 minutes after you're done.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Re-fuel your body so you can repair muscles and store energy.\", \"描述\": \"If you're skinny, your body needs extra calories to build and support muscles so eat a meal that's high in carbohydrates once you've finished exercising. Aim for 3 or 4 parts carbohydrates to 1 part protein.\\nFor example, eat a bowl of hot amaranth cereal with dried fruit and nuts or chia seeds.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Create a weight-training schedule.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lift weights about 4 days a week.\", \"描述\": \"To bulk up and tone your muscles, use high-resistance weights with a low number of repetitions. Specifically, aim to do 3 to 5 sets of 8 to 12 repetitions for each muscle group. To make your weight-training schedule interesting, you can switch up your focus each day. For example, on:\\nDay 1: work your chest and triceps with dips, overhead extensions, and incline dumbbell press\\nDay 2: work your back and biceps with seated barbell curls and wide-grip pull-ups\\nDay 3: work your legs and shoulders with leg presses, leg curls, and deadlifts\\nDay 4: rest\\nDay 5: do a total body workout where you target all of your major muscle groups\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Schedule time to rest.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a day off every 3 or 4 days so your muscles can repair and recover.\", \"描述\": \"You may work out Monday through Wednesday and take Thursday off, for instance. Then, do slower cardio work on the weekends. Don't forget to get plenty of rest every day, too. Try to sleep at least 8 hours a night so your body. Your body releases the majority of its growth hormones while you sleep, which is why a good night's rest is critical.\\nIf you're extra tired from working out, take naps! You can also rest and relax by getting deep-tissue massages.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Limit cardio activities to 3 or 4 times a week.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick to 30-minute aerobic workouts so you don't burn too many calories.\", \"描述\": \"High-intensity aerobic activities like running burn a lot of calories so you might find it hard to build muscle. Instead, plan on doing low-intensity activities no more than 3 times a week. Keep in mind that some days you'll be doing cardio and weights. This keeps up your cardiovascular health, but you shouldn't lose more weight. Low-intensity aerobic activities include:\\nWalking up and down hills\\nDoing a stair-climber machine\\nCycling in a high gear\\nWalking on your treadmill\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Keep active throughout the day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find ways to build muscle even when you're not doing a workout.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard to carve out workout time, but staying active is important for gaining muscle mass. If you're pretty sedentary during the day, try to get up and walk around or stretch every 30 minutes.\\nJust being more active every day can help you maintain the muscles that you've worked so hard to build.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,160 | How to Be Smart | 1. Exercising Your Brain
1-1. Work on puzzles
Doing puzzles like these will keep your brain working and increase your mental capabilities. Your brain is a muscle: you have to exercise it! Always listen to your brain and your mind.
Sudoku is a great puzzle to try to solve and it expands your thinking. These can be purchased in books, are often printed in newspapers, and are easily found for free online.
1-2. Do artistic activities.
Drawing, sculpting, painting and other arts unleash your creative side and expand your problem-solving skills. A creative brain can think outside the box to find ways to get things done better and faster.
1-3. Do math
Learn how to do mental sums or speed math. The hard thinking that is required for math will make your brain work hard and help develop the connections that will help you think better and faster.
1-4. Write
Creative writing forces your brain to work on inventing situations and dialogue, characters and environments. This will make you a better thinker and help you process information. Using language like this will also improve your vocabulary and speech. Writing is also a fantastic way of expressing yourself and your thoughts.
2. Developing Your People Skills
2-1. Simplify
Talking about things that no one else can understand does not make you smart. Genius is the ability to translate the complex into the simple. Practice explaining concepts to others. See just how simple and clear you can make your explanations.
2-2. Learn to listen carefully to others' opinions about controversial things or things they know about and you do not.
You do not have to agree with them but remember everybody has something to teach you. Asking questions may allow you to re-evaluate your own beliefs, or point out the flaws in theirs. Keep an open mind. The more intelligent you are the more questions you will ask of the people around you.
2-3. Be nice
Practicing kindness in the face of challenges is a sign of maturity, class, and intelligence. Remember that you also have a lot to learn from other people. Being kind to them will allow you access to their lives and experience. Who knows what you might learn?
3. Educating Yourself
3-1. Aim to educate yourself.
Keep in mind education isn't the junk you are forced to do in school for diplomas and degrees; it's an understanding of the world around you. People who are naturally curious for some reason begin to stop asking questions the moment they hit school. The truly brilliant mind, however, always questions their world and tries to make sense out of it. That is the secret to "genius".
Try teaching yourself. You can even learn from your life experiences, sometimes called "unschooling".
3-2. Work on your vocabulary
Use a few definitions from the dictionary each day, or subscribe to a "word-of-the-day" service online. You can also take the vocabulary tests in Readers Digest or buy a book on increasing your working vocabulary. Read the dictionary one word at a time. Every word you learn will grow your vocabulary. This will take you at least a year but you will grow intellectually.
3-3. Read a variety of books
Reading is a productive hobby to have and can help you learn all kinds of new things. You may not always enjoy it, but reading will open up your mind to a variety of new ideas and experiences. Browse whatever books you find interesting and insightful. Many people recommend reading every day.
3-4. Educate yourself about the world around you
Cultivate an interest in subjects like current events, interesting facts, funny and inspiring quotations, good books and movies, scientific studies and interesting inventions. Educational television, like PBS, is a great way to learn. Learning to think critically about the world around you by being aware of cause and effect in events will make you much smarter.
If you can read much faster than you can speak, it is much more efficient to read a book, or better yet a non-linear electronic document like a wiki than to watch a show for all but the most intellectually demanding or video-dependent learning. Commercial television is particularly bad because its ultimate purpose is to do just enough to keep you at the TV and its ads, not satisfy you so you can do something else.
3-5. Make connections
Find uses for information, rather than just collecting useless trivia. Burying information somewhere deep in your brain is not useful; you have to be able to access it in situations. Think of situations in which a piece of information will make sense. Then share it and watch it grow!
4. Developing Good Habits
4-1. Ask questions
Asking questions and questioning everything around us constantly is what makes us smarter. There's nothing wrong with not knowing the whys or the hows! Everybody has something that they don't know. But by developing a healthy habit about asking when you don't know something, you'll find yourself getting smarter and smarter.
4-2. Set goals
Ask yourself during each goal-setting session, how many of last week's goals did I achieve? Why didn't I accomplish some of my goals and what can I do to give myself a greater chance of success
Constantly work hard to achieve each of your goals. Without goals, you would have nothing to hope for. Reward yourself after accomplishing your goal.
Be organized. You don't need to be a total neat freak, but wasting time is not smart. Of course, many geniuses are completely disorganized (think of the absent-minded professor) but if you're making an active effort to be smart, taking a conscious approach to how you spend your time is a big step in the right direction.
4-3. Devote time
Educating yourself takes time, and if you want to get smarter it is going to require effort. Don’t expect it to happen overnight. You need to spend a lot of time actively thinking and learning if you want to really be smart.
4-4. Always learn.
There are many sources of information out there. For example, books, documentaries, and the internet. School is just one source of information. If you have straight A's, that doesn't mean that you are smart. Exercising an open mind will make you more intelligent and constantly learning will help you get there.
5. Expanding Your Horizons
5-1. Learn a new language.
Apart from being a linguistic exercise, it may bring you into contact with new people and ideas. You may feel less of a stranger when you visit a place and you know some of the language. Also, at some point you will realize that there are some phrases or concepts in other languages that have no direct translation in English! This can be a challenging and fun exercise for the mind. (Note, try to be patient and positive when studying a language as it may take time to reach the level you desire.)
5-2. Visit new places as much as you can.
Try to visit other countries too. Visiting cities in your country or in a different one gives you an open mind and teaches you about the universe. You will be able to understand other cultures (how people live in a different place, how they behave with each other). You will also be able to understand that there is so much to see and do anywhere. You will be fascinated by how there are so many different people and cultures in the world. That will make you smart and interesting.
5-3. Be open-minded
Just because you're great at one thing doesn't mean you have to stick to it! Find ways to step out of your comfort zone. This is where the learning happens.
Tips
There is more than one type of smart. There's book smart, street smart, people smart, emotional smart, technology smart, and many other types of intelligence.
Smart can also mean having a smart physical appearance, especially in the UK. Make sure you are smart and know which smart you need or want to be.
Know the difference between being smart and being knowledgeable. Being smart is not the same as knowing a lot about the subject. Being smart means you understand problems and can think of ways to solve them. Being knowledgeable means you know a lot about one or more topics. Are you both smart and knowledgeable or just one?
Warnings
Don't put yourself down. When you do this, you begin to believe that you're not smart and this can turn into a self-fulfilling sense of "giving up". Tell yourself you can do it, even if it requires effort and time.
Don't become a know-it-all, do-it-all, or argumentative. It is obnoxious! It is better to be subtle, not obvious.
Know your limits, take a break every now and then to reassess yourself and the manner of completely achieving your primary goal.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Exercising Your Brain\\n1-1. Work on puzzles\\nDoing puzzles like these will keep your brain working and increase your mental capabilities. Your brain is a muscle: you have to exercise it! Always listen to your brain and your mind. \\nSudoku is a great puzzle to try to solve and it expands your thinking. These can be purchased in books, are often printed in newspapers, and are easily found for free online.\\n1-2. Do artistic activities.\\nDrawing, sculpting, painting and other arts unleash your creative side and expand your problem-solving skills. A creative brain can think outside the box to find ways to get things done better and faster.\\n1-3. Do math\\nLearn how to do mental sums or speed math. The hard thinking that is required for math will make your brain work hard and help develop the connections that will help you think better and faster.\\n1-4. Write\\nCreative writing forces your brain to work on inventing situations and dialogue, characters and environments. This will make you a better thinker and help you process information. Using language like this will also improve your vocabulary and speech. Writing is also a fantastic way of expressing yourself and your thoughts.\\n2. Developing Your People Skills\\n2-1. Simplify\\nTalking about things that no one else can understand does not make you smart. Genius is the ability to translate the complex into the simple. Practice explaining concepts to others. See just how simple and clear you can make your explanations.\\n2-2. Learn to listen carefully to others' opinions about controversial things or things they know about and you do not.\\nYou do not have to agree with them but remember everybody has something to teach you. Asking questions may allow you to re-evaluate your own beliefs, or point out the flaws in theirs. Keep an open mind. The more intelligent you are the more questions you will ask of the people around you.\\n2-3. Be nice\\nPracticing kindness in the face of challenges is a sign of maturity, class, and intelligence. Remember that you also have a lot to learn from other people. Being kind to them will allow you access to their lives and experience. Who knows what you might learn?\\n3. Educating Yourself\\n3-1. Aim to educate yourself.\\nKeep in mind education isn't the junk you are forced to do in school for diplomas and degrees; it's an understanding of the world around you. People who are naturally curious for some reason begin to stop asking questions the moment they hit school. The truly brilliant mind, however, always questions their world and tries to make sense out of it. That is the secret to \\\"genius\\\".\\nTry teaching yourself. You can even learn from your life experiences, sometimes called \\\"unschooling\\\".\\n3-2. Work on your vocabulary\\nUse a few definitions from the dictionary each day, or subscribe to a \\\"word-of-the-day\\\" service online. You can also take the vocabulary tests in Readers Digest or buy a book on increasing your working vocabulary. Read the dictionary one word at a time. Every word you learn will grow your vocabulary. This will take you at least a year but you will grow intellectually.\\n3-3. Read a variety of books\\nReading is a productive hobby to have and can help you learn all kinds of new things. You may not always enjoy it, but reading will open up your mind to a variety of new ideas and experiences. Browse whatever books you find interesting and insightful. Many people recommend reading every day.\\n3-4. Educate yourself about the world around you\\nCultivate an interest in subjects like current events, interesting facts, funny and inspiring quotations, good books and movies, scientific studies and interesting inventions. Educational television, like PBS, is a great way to learn. Learning to think critically about the world around you by being aware of cause and effect in events will make you much smarter.\\nIf you can read much faster than you can speak, it is much more efficient to read a book, or better yet a non-linear electronic document like a wiki than to watch a show for all but the most intellectually demanding or video-dependent learning. Commercial television is particularly bad because its ultimate purpose is to do just enough to keep you at the TV and its ads, not satisfy you so you can do something else.\\n3-5. Make connections\\nFind uses for information, rather than just collecting useless trivia. Burying information somewhere deep in your brain is not useful; you have to be able to access it in situations. Think of situations in which a piece of information will make sense. Then share it and watch it grow!\\n4. Developing Good Habits\\n4-1. Ask questions\\nAsking questions and questioning everything around us constantly is what makes us smarter. There's nothing wrong with not knowing the whys or the hows! Everybody has something that they don't know. But by developing a healthy habit about asking when you don't know something, you'll find yourself getting smarter and smarter.\\n4-2. Set goals\\nAsk yourself during each goal-setting session, how many of last week's goals did I achieve? Why didn't I accomplish some of my goals and what can I do to give myself a greater chance of success\\nConstantly work hard to achieve each of your goals. Without goals, you would have nothing to hope for. Reward yourself after accomplishing your goal.\\nBe organized. You don't need to be a total neat freak, but wasting time is not smart. Of course, many geniuses are completely disorganized (think of the absent-minded professor) but if you're making an active effort to be smart, taking a conscious approach to how you spend your time is a big step in the right direction.\\n4-3. Devote time\\nEducating yourself takes time, and if you want to get smarter it is going to require effort. Don’t expect it to happen overnight. You need to spend a lot of time actively thinking and learning if you want to really be smart.\\n4-4. Always learn.\\nThere are many sources of information out there. For example, books, documentaries, and the internet. School is just one source of information. If you have straight A's, that doesn't mean that you are smart. Exercising an open mind will make you more intelligent and constantly learning will help you get there.\\n5. Expanding Your Horizons\\n5-1. Learn a new language.\\nApart from being a linguistic exercise, it may bring you into contact with new people and ideas. You may feel less of a stranger when you visit a place and you know some of the language. Also, at some point you will realize that there are some phrases or concepts in other languages that have no direct translation in English! This can be a challenging and fun exercise for the mind. (Note, try to be patient and positive when studying a language as it may take time to reach the level you desire.)\\n5-2. Visit new places as much as you can.\\nTry to visit other countries too. Visiting cities in your country or in a different one gives you an open mind and teaches you about the universe. You will be able to understand other cultures (how people live in a different place, how they behave with each other). You will also be able to understand that there is so much to see and do anywhere. You will be fascinated by how there are so many different people and cultures in the world. That will make you smart and interesting.\\n5-3. Be open-minded\\nJust because you're great at one thing doesn't mean you have to stick to it! Find ways to step out of your comfort zone. This is where the learning happens.\\nTips\\nThere is more than one type of smart. There's book smart, street smart, people smart, emotional smart, technology smart, and many other types of intelligence.\\nSmart can also mean having a smart physical appearance, especially in the UK. Make sure you are smart and know which smart you need or want to be.\\nKnow the difference between being smart and being knowledgeable. Being smart is not the same as knowing a lot about the subject. Being smart means you understand problems and can think of ways to solve them. Being knowledgeable means you know a lot about one or more topics. Are you both smart and knowledgeable or just one?\\nWarnings\\nDon't put yourself down. When you do this, you begin to believe that you're not smart and this can turn into a self-fulfilling sense of \\\"giving up\\\". Tell yourself you can do it, even if it requires effort and time.\\nDon't become a know-it-all, do-it-all, or argumentative. It is obnoxious! It is better to be subtle, not obvious.\\nKnow your limits, take a break every now and then to reassess yourself and the manner of completely achieving your primary goal.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Intelligence isn't always something you're born with; you can make yourself smarter with a little bit of hard work! To be smart, exercise your brain with puzzles and creative tasks, develop your people skills, learn as much as you can about as much as you can, and continually strive to broaden your horizons by keeping an open mind and stepping outside your comfort zone. Increasing your intelligence may seem difficult, but as long as you have an eagerness to learn, it's a very doable goal.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exercising Your Brain\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work on puzzles\", \"描述\": \"Doing puzzles like these will keep your brain working and increase your mental capabilities. Your brain is a muscle: you have to exercise it! Always listen to your brain and your mind. \\nSudoku is a great puzzle to try to solve and it expands your thinking. These can be purchased in books, are often printed in newspapers, and are easily found for free online.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do artistic activities.\", \"描述\": \"Drawing, sculpting, painting and other arts unleash your creative side and expand your problem-solving skills. A creative brain can think outside the box to find ways to get things done better and faster.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do math\", \"描述\": \"Learn how to do mental sums or speed math. The hard thinking that is required for math will make your brain work hard and help develop the connections that will help you think better and faster.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write\", \"描述\": \"Creative writing forces your brain to work on inventing situations and dialogue, characters and environments. This will make you a better thinker and help you process information. Using language like this will also improve your vocabulary and speech. Writing is also a fantastic way of expressing yourself and your thoughts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Your People Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Simplify\", \"描述\": \"Talking about things that no one else can understand does not make you smart. Genius is the ability to translate the complex into the simple. Practice explaining concepts to others. See just how simple and clear you can make your explanations.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to listen carefully to others' opinions about controversial things or things they know about and you do not.\", \"描述\": \"You do not have to agree with them but remember everybody has something to teach you. Asking questions may allow you to re-evaluate your own beliefs, or point out the flaws in theirs. Keep an open mind. The more intelligent you are the more questions you will ask of the people around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be nice\", \"描述\": \"Practicing kindness in the face of challenges is a sign of maturity, class, and intelligence. Remember that you also have a lot to learn from other people. Being kind to them will allow you access to their lives and experience. Who knows what you might learn?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Educating Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Aim to educate yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Keep in mind education isn't the junk you are forced to do in school for diplomas and degrees; it's an understanding of the world around you. People who are naturally curious for some reason begin to stop asking questions the moment they hit school. The truly brilliant mind, however, always questions their world and tries to make sense out of it. That is the secret to \\\"genius\\\".\\nTry teaching yourself. You can even learn from your life experiences, sometimes called \\\"unschooling\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work on your vocabulary\", \"描述\": \"Use a few definitions from the dictionary each day, or subscribe to a \\\"word-of-the-day\\\" service online. You can also take the vocabulary tests in Readers Digest or buy a book on increasing your working vocabulary. Read the dictionary one word at a time. Every word you learn will grow your vocabulary. This will take you at least a year but you will grow intellectually.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read a variety of books\", \"描述\": \"Reading is a productive hobby to have and can help you learn all kinds of new things. You may not always enjoy it, but reading will open up your mind to a variety of new ideas and experiences. Browse whatever books you find interesting and insightful. Many people recommend reading every day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Educate yourself about the world around you\", \"描述\": \"Cultivate an interest in subjects like current events, interesting facts, funny and inspiring quotations, good books and movies, scientific studies and interesting inventions. Educational television, like PBS, is a great way to learn. Learning to think critically about the world around you by being aware of cause and effect in events will make you much smarter.\\nIf you can read much faster than you can speak, it is much more efficient to read a book, or better yet a non-linear electronic document like a wiki than to watch a show for all but the most intellectually demanding or video-dependent learning. Commercial television is particularly bad because its ultimate purpose is to do just enough to keep you at the TV and its ads, not satisfy you so you can do something else.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make connections\", \"描述\": \"Find uses for information, rather than just collecting useless trivia. Burying information somewhere deep in your brain is not useful; you have to be able to access it in situations. Think of situations in which a piece of information will make sense. Then share it and watch it grow!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Developing Good Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask questions\", \"描述\": \"Asking questions and questioning everything around us constantly is what makes us smarter. There's nothing wrong with not knowing the whys or the hows! Everybody has something that they don't know. But by developing a healthy habit about asking when you don't know something, you'll find yourself getting smarter and smarter.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set goals\", \"描述\": \"Ask yourself during each goal-setting session, how many of last week's goals did I achieve? Why didn't I accomplish some of my goals and what can I do to give myself a greater chance of success\\nConstantly work hard to achieve each of your goals. Without goals, you would have nothing to hope for. Reward yourself after accomplishing your goal.\\nBe organized. You don't need to be a total neat freak, but wasting time is not smart. Of course, many geniuses are completely disorganized (think of the absent-minded professor) but if you're making an active effort to be smart, taking a conscious approach to how you spend your time is a big step in the right direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Devote time\", \"描述\": \"Educating yourself takes time, and if you want to get smarter it is going to require effort. Don’t expect it to happen overnight. You need to spend a lot of time actively thinking and learning if you want to really be smart.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Always learn.\", \"描述\": \"There are many sources of information out there. For example, books, documentaries, and the internet. School is just one source of information. If you have straight A's, that doesn't mean that you are smart. Exercising an open mind will make you more intelligent and constantly learning will help you get there.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Expanding Your Horizons\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn a new language.\", \"描述\": \"Apart from being a linguistic exercise, it may bring you into contact with new people and ideas. You may feel less of a stranger when you visit a place and you know some of the language. Also, at some point you will realize that there are some phrases or concepts in other languages that have no direct translation in English! This can be a challenging and fun exercise for the mind. (Note, try to be patient and positive when studying a language as it may take time to reach the level you desire.)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Visit new places as much as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Try to visit other countries too. Visiting cities in your country or in a different one gives you an open mind and teaches you about the universe. You will be able to understand other cultures (how people live in a different place, how they behave with each other). You will also be able to understand that there is so much to see and do anywhere. You will be fascinated by how there are so many different people and cultures in the world. That will make you smart and interesting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be open-minded\", \"描述\": \"Just because you're great at one thing doesn't mean you have to stick to it! Find ways to step out of your comfort zone. This is where the learning happens.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"There is more than one type of smart. There's book smart, street smart, people smart, emotional smart, technology smart, and many other types of intelligence.\\n\", \"Smart can also mean having a smart physical appearance, especially in the UK. Make sure you are smart and know which smart you need or want to be.\\n\", \"Know the difference between being smart and being knowledgeable. Being smart is not the same as knowing a lot about the subject. Being smart means you understand problems and can think of ways to solve them. Being knowledgeable means you know a lot about one or more topics. Are you both smart and knowledgeable or just one?\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't put yourself down. When you do this, you begin to believe that you're not smart and this can turn into a self-fulfilling sense of \\\"giving up\\\". Tell yourself you can do it, even if it requires effort and time.\\n\", \"Don't become a know-it-all, do-it-all, or argumentative. It is obnoxious! It is better to be subtle, not obvious.\\n\", \"Know your limits, take a break every now and then to reassess yourself and the manner of completely achieving your primary goal.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,161 | How to Be Smart As a Teen | 1. Steps
1-1. Save time to focus on your studies.
Having a well-rounded life helps most people feel fulfilled, so seeking balance is ideal. Balancing your time can be difficult but it's doable. Explore your interests, hobbies, and relationships, but make sure that your social life and non-academic pursuits don't get in the way of your studies.
Make a homework schedule to keep track of everything.
1-2. Participate in class.
Speaking up might sometimes be difficult, but being an active participant in class will help you engage with the material and learn from your teachers and peers.
Raising your hand will help you feel engaged, confident, and capable.
It's okay if you get the wrong answers sometimes. All smart students do—it's part of the learning process—and your peers won't really care.
1-3. Get help when you need it.
The students who do best are the hardworking ones—so cultivate a strong work ethic. If you can't figure out something by yourself, find someone who can help.
Raise your hand in class to ask questions.
Talk to your teacher or tutor outside of class.
Ask a parent, friend, or older sibling to help you with a concept.
1-4. Get enough rest.
Nobody can work to their peak performance when they're tired and burned out. Make sure you take the time out of studying and school work to get some decent sleep, and take study breaks between big bouts of focused time.
1-5. Keep your stress under control.
Everyone needs an outlet from their school or work. Whatever healthy "de-stressors" you enjoy in life, make time for them. Join a sports team, do some yoga, go hiking, read a book, do some art, or watch a good movie; whatever you need to do to help combat stress, make time for it.
1-6. Develop healthy habits.
It's easy to forget about your health and hygiene, but kick-starting your young adult years with good habits sets you up for a healthy future, and is overall a smart choice. Getregular exercise, eat a healthy diet, and maintain good hygiene.
1-7. Get input on your most important choices.
Nobody out there has all the answers, but part of making smart choices as a teen can come down to getting input from your parents and mentors. Will they always know what to do? No. But they may have advice for you as you tackle difficult decisions, particularly if they've faced similar situations before. Be open to input from others to help you make smart choices both in your day-to-day life and in planning your future.
1-8. Recognize that making mistakes is part of the learning process.
All smart people make mistakes. It doesn't make them unintelligent. Being hardworking is what counts in the long run, and bouncing back will bode well for your future.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Save time to focus on your studies.\\nHaving a well-rounded life helps most people feel fulfilled, so seeking balance is ideal. Balancing your time can be difficult but it's doable. Explore your interests, hobbies, and relationships, but make sure that your social life and non-academic pursuits don't get in the way of your studies.\\nMake a homework schedule to keep track of everything.\\n1-2. Participate in class.\\nSpeaking up might sometimes be difficult, but being an active participant in class will help you engage with the material and learn from your teachers and peers.\\nRaising your hand will help you feel engaged, confident, and capable.\\nIt's okay if you get the wrong answers sometimes. All smart students do—it's part of the learning process—and your peers won't really care.\\n1-3. Get help when you need it.\\nThe students who do best are the hardworking ones—so cultivate a strong work ethic. If you can't figure out something by yourself, find someone who can help.\\nRaise your hand in class to ask questions.\\nTalk to your teacher or tutor outside of class.\\nAsk a parent, friend, or older sibling to help you with a concept.\\n1-4. Get enough rest.\\nNobody can work to their peak performance when they're tired and burned out. Make sure you take the time out of studying and school work to get some decent sleep, and take study breaks between big bouts of focused time.\\n1-5. Keep your stress under control.\\nEveryone needs an outlet from their school or work. Whatever healthy \\\"de-stressors\\\" you enjoy in life, make time for them. Join a sports team, do some yoga, go hiking, read a book, do some art, or watch a good movie; whatever you need to do to help combat stress, make time for it.\\n1-6. Develop healthy habits.\\nIt's easy to forget about your health and hygiene, but kick-starting your young adult years with good habits sets you up for a healthy future, and is overall a smart choice. Getregular exercise, eat a healthy diet, and maintain good hygiene.\\n1-7. Get input on your most important choices.\\nNobody out there has all the answers, but part of making smart choices as a teen can come down to getting input from your parents and mentors. Will they always know what to do? No. But they may have advice for you as you tackle difficult decisions, particularly if they've faced similar situations before. Be open to input from others to help you make smart choices both in your day-to-day life and in planning your future.\\n1-8. Recognize that making mistakes is part of the learning process.\\nAll smart people make mistakes. It doesn't make them unintelligent. Being hardworking is what counts in the long run, and bouncing back will bode well for your future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Want to be smart as a teen? Being an intelligent teenager extends beyond studies and academics. It also involves making good decisions and smart choices in your daily life and when you're planning your future. In this article, we'll show some ways to approach your life so you're making the best decisions and choices possible.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Save time to focus on your studies.\", \"描述\": \"Having a well-rounded life helps most people feel fulfilled, so seeking balance is ideal. Balancing your time can be difficult but it's doable. Explore your interests, hobbies, and relationships, but make sure that your social life and non-academic pursuits don't get in the way of your studies.\\nMake a homework schedule to keep track of everything.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Participate in class.\", \"描述\": \"Speaking up might sometimes be difficult, but being an active participant in class will help you engage with the material and learn from your teachers and peers.\\nRaising your hand will help you feel engaged, confident, and capable.\\nIt's okay if you get the wrong answers sometimes. All smart students do—it's part of the learning process—and your peers won't really care.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get help when you need it.\", \"描述\": \"The students who do best are the hardworking ones—so cultivate a strong work ethic. If you can't figure out something by yourself, find someone who can help.\\nRaise your hand in class to ask questions.\\nTalk to your teacher or tutor outside of class.\\nAsk a parent, friend, or older sibling to help you with a concept.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get enough rest.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody can work to their peak performance when they're tired and burned out. Make sure you take the time out of studying and school work to get some decent sleep, and take study breaks between big bouts of focused time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your stress under control.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone needs an outlet from their school or work. Whatever healthy \\\"de-stressors\\\" you enjoy in life, make time for them. Join a sports team, do some yoga, go hiking, read a book, do some art, or watch a good movie; whatever you need to do to help combat stress, make time for it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Develop healthy habits.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to forget about your health and hygiene, but kick-starting your young adult years with good habits sets you up for a healthy future, and is overall a smart choice. Getregular exercise, eat a healthy diet, and maintain good hygiene.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get input on your most important choices.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody out there has all the answers, but part of making smart choices as a teen can come down to getting input from your parents and mentors. Will they always know what to do? No. But they may have advice for you as you tackle difficult decisions, particularly if they've faced similar situations before. Be open to input from others to help you make smart choices both in your day-to-day life and in planning your future.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Recognize that making mistakes is part of the learning process.\", \"描述\": \"All smart people make mistakes. It doesn't make them unintelligent. Being hardworking is what counts in the long run, and bouncing back will bode well for your future.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,162 | How to Be Smart and Cool at the Same Time | 1. Changing Your Approach
1-1. Analyze the situation.
What about your current situation bothers you? Do you want more friends? Do you consider yourself nerdy or geeky, and are you happy that way? How nerdy are you? Are you hoping to be more respected?
There's nothing wrong with being a nerd or geek, and embracing it can be cool. But if you're being labeled this way and you don't think it fits, you can change how people see you.
1-2. Have good hygiene.
It's hard for people to enjoy hanging out with you if you smell funny or look dirty. Looking your best helps you
Shower daily and wear deodorant.
Brush and floss your teeth.
Care for your hair so that it looks neat.
Wear clean clothes that aren't too wrinkly.
Only wear makeup if you're interested in it.
Don't worry too much about glasses or braces; most people don't pay close attention.
1-3. Dress well.
Everyone has their own personal style. The most important part is to wear neat and well-fitting clothing to help you look your best.
Make sure that you choose colors that match. If that's tricky, wear one color at a time paired with neutrals.
To boost your style even more, try figuring out your season color and body type. This way, you can pick clothes that flatter your natural coloring and shape.
1-4. Keep a balanced perspective about any obsessions.
It's okay to have passions and interests that don't align with the mainstream. But overdoing them to the point of neglecting other important things, or letting yourself get too upset over things that don't matter, isn't healthy for you.
Embracing your obsessions is cooler than hiding them for fear that they're shameful.
Remember to cultivate other interests too. It's good to have several interests to build a broader skillset and to have something fun to do if you get tired of one of them for a while.
1-5. Make time for physical activity (even light physical activity).
A strong body will help you protect your strong brain. Exercise can boost your mood and thinking skills.
Even taking a walk around the neighborhood with a friend is better than sitting around all day.
1-6. Don't engage in rude or destructive behavior even if the "cool" people are doing it.
Slacking off, experimenting with addictive drugs, drinking excessive alcohol, and other bad habits won't help you in the long run. Keep doing your best in life.
2. Socializing Well
2-1. Learn to listen.
Sometimes you might not notice that you are talking and think that people are actually interested but they are annoyed or bored. If you can't think of anything to say ask a question that is not too lame. Most people like to talk about themselves. It's good to be talkative and able to hold up a conversation, but make sure to let the other person or people speak - really listen when they are talking. Practice your speaking skills with people you feel comfortable with, like a sibling or neighbor.
2-2. Start small when talking about your interests.
Sometimes people ask what you like to do because they're trying to make conversation or find things in common with you. Give them a brief overview, and only go into detail if they ask a specific question. Otherwise, try asking them what they like to do, since most people enjoy talking about themselves.
If you're insecure about your nerdy hobbies, or if you think people may not connect with them, then try mentioning a more mainstream activity that you also enjoy (such as shopping, visiting the beach, or trying out new restaurants).
For example, if you like to make websites, don't say "I make the best web-pages without even using any programs. I make them with Notepad because I memorized HTML and I'm fluent in JavaScript, and I hate how the WYSIWYG editors force you to conform (conformity is so mainstream) and to relax I like to play MMORPGS, Warcraft on the Dalaran server, to be specific, blah-blah-blah." Just say, "I like to use the computer and play videogames." If they ask you specifically, say "I make websites", or "I like to play Warcraft".
2-3. Skip the bragging.
Do not try to say that you are better than someone through bragging. You think you're being cool, but bragging is annoying, and that makes you annoying. Don't be a know-it-all who always corrects people's grammar and ideas either.
2-4. Ignore the jerks.
Getting into fights and letting people bait you isn't cool. Don't even respond if someone insults you (unless you want to look up some snippy comebacks). You are who you are, and if they want to be rude, that's their problem. Don't lower your mentality to theirs! If they keep bothering you, you can walk away, or use one of those snippy comebacks and then walk away.
Of course, that doesn't mean you should never take constructive criticism. There's a huge difference between someone saying "I think you're a loser" and someone saying "you keep interrupting people and you need to work on stopping that."
2-5. Try to be easy to talk to.
Do your best to be friendly, humble, and caring towards other people. Give a few compliments and work on your listening skills. If you're generally pleasant to be around, people will usually respect you and think highly of you.
Show respect to people who know less than you do. Instead of lording your so-called superiority over them, try being a friend and teaching them anything they'd like to know.
Set boundaries if needed. For example, if someone tries to copy your homework, you could say "While I'm happy to talk over the subject, I'm not willing to cheat you of a learning opportunity by letting you copy my work."
Tips
Being interested is better than being interesting. Listen to other people and they'll come away feeling great about the conversation.
Remember that everyone has something new to teach you. Nobody can know everything, and different people will know about things you don't know much about.
Show kindness and respect for other people, and they're likely to be kind to you in return.
Warnings
Being a jerk is a quick way to make people to stop liking you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Approach\\n1-1. Analyze the situation.\\nWhat about your current situation bothers you? Do you want more friends? Do you consider yourself nerdy or geeky, and are you happy that way? How nerdy are you? Are you hoping to be more respected? \\nThere's nothing wrong with being a nerd or geek, and embracing it can be cool. But if you're being labeled this way and you don't think it fits, you can change how people see you.\\n1-2. Have good hygiene.\\nIt's hard for people to enjoy hanging out with you if you smell funny or look dirty. Looking your best helps you \\nShower daily and wear deodorant.\\nBrush and floss your teeth.\\nCare for your hair so that it looks neat.\\nWear clean clothes that aren't too wrinkly.\\nOnly wear makeup if you're interested in it.\\nDon't worry too much about glasses or braces; most people don't pay close attention.\\n1-3. Dress well.\\nEveryone has their own personal style. The most important part is to wear neat and well-fitting clothing to help you look your best. \\nMake sure that you choose colors that match. If that's tricky, wear one color at a time paired with neutrals.\\nTo boost your style even more, try figuring out your season color and body type. This way, you can pick clothes that flatter your natural coloring and shape.\\n1-4. Keep a balanced perspective about any obsessions.\\nIt's okay to have passions and interests that don't align with the mainstream. But overdoing them to the point of neglecting other important things, or letting yourself get too upset over things that don't matter, isn't healthy for you. \\nEmbracing your obsessions is cooler than hiding them for fear that they're shameful.\\nRemember to cultivate other interests too. It's good to have several interests to build a broader skillset and to have something fun to do if you get tired of one of them for a while.\\n1-5. Make time for physical activity (even light physical activity).\\nA strong body will help you protect your strong brain. Exercise can boost your mood and thinking skills. \\nEven taking a walk around the neighborhood with a friend is better than sitting around all day.\\n1-6. Don't engage in rude or destructive behavior even if the \\\"cool\\\" people are doing it.\\nSlacking off, experimenting with addictive drugs, drinking excessive alcohol, and other bad habits won't help you in the long run. Keep doing your best in life.\\n2. Socializing Well\\n2-1. Learn to listen.\\nSometimes you might not notice that you are talking and think that people are actually interested but they are annoyed or bored. If you can't think of anything to say ask a question that is not too lame. Most people like to talk about themselves. It's good to be talkative and able to hold up a conversation, but make sure to let the other person or people speak - really listen when they are talking. Practice your speaking skills with people you feel comfortable with, like a sibling or neighbor.\\n2-2. Start small when talking about your interests.\\nSometimes people ask what you like to do because they're trying to make conversation or find things in common with you. Give them a brief overview, and only go into detail if they ask a specific question. Otherwise, try asking them what they like to do, since most people enjoy talking about themselves. \\nIf you're insecure about your nerdy hobbies, or if you think people may not connect with them, then try mentioning a more mainstream activity that you also enjoy (such as shopping, visiting the beach, or trying out new restaurants).\\nFor example, if you like to make websites, don't say \\\"I make the best web-pages without even using any programs. I make them with Notepad because I memorized HTML and I'm fluent in JavaScript, and I hate how the WYSIWYG editors force you to conform (conformity is so mainstream) and to relax I like to play MMORPGS, Warcraft on the Dalaran server, to be specific, blah-blah-blah.\\\" Just say, \\\"I like to use the computer and play videogames.\\\" If they ask you specifically, say \\\"I make websites\\\", or \\\"I like to play Warcraft\\\".\\n2-3. Skip the bragging.\\nDo not try to say that you are better than someone through bragging. You think you're being cool, but bragging is annoying, and that makes you annoying. Don't be a know-it-all who always corrects people's grammar and ideas either.\\n2-4. Ignore the jerks.\\nGetting into fights and letting people bait you isn't cool. Don't even respond if someone insults you (unless you want to look up some snippy comebacks). You are who you are, and if they want to be rude, that's their problem. Don't lower your mentality to theirs! If they keep bothering you, you can walk away, or use one of those snippy comebacks and then walk away. \\nOf course, that doesn't mean you should never take constructive criticism. There's a huge difference between someone saying \\\"I think you're a loser\\\" and someone saying \\\"you keep interrupting people and you need to work on stopping that.\\\"\\n2-5. Try to be easy to talk to.\\nDo your best to be friendly, humble, and caring towards other people. Give a few compliments and work on your listening skills. If you're generally pleasant to be around, people will usually respect you and think highly of you. \\nShow respect to people who know less than you do. Instead of lording your so-called superiority over them, try being a friend and teaching them anything they'd like to know.\\nSet boundaries if needed. For example, if someone tries to copy your homework, you could say \\\"While I'm happy to talk over the subject, I'm not willing to cheat you of a learning opportunity by letting you copy my work.\\\"\\nTips\\nBeing interested is better than being interesting. Listen to other people and they'll come away feeling great about the conversation.\\nRemember that everyone has something new to teach you. Nobody can know everything, and different people will know about things you don't know much about.\\nShow kindness and respect for other people, and they're likely to be kind to you in return.\\nWarnings\\nBeing a jerk is a quick way to make people to stop liking you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Thanks to the geek chic movement and the increasing demand for intellectual work, being smart is cooler than ever. But some smart people still feel like wallflowers. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, but building confidence and treating other people with consideration and respect.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Analyze the situation.\", \"描述\": \"What about your current situation bothers you? Do you want more friends? Do you consider yourself nerdy or geeky, and are you happy that way? How nerdy are you? Are you hoping to be more respected? \\nThere's nothing wrong with being a nerd or geek, and embracing it can be cool. But if you're being labeled this way and you don't think it fits, you can change how people see you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"It's hard for people to enjoy hanging out with you if you smell funny or look dirty. Looking your best helps you \\nShower daily and wear deodorant.\\nBrush and floss your teeth.\\nCare for your hair so that it looks neat.\\nWear clean clothes that aren't too wrinkly.\\nOnly wear makeup if you're interested in it.\\nDon't worry too much about glasses or braces; most people don't pay close attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress well.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has their own personal style. The most important part is to wear neat and well-fitting clothing to help you look your best. \\nMake sure that you choose colors that match. If that's tricky, wear one color at a time paired with neutrals.\\nTo boost your style even more, try figuring out your season color and body type. This way, you can pick clothes that flatter your natural coloring and shape.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a balanced perspective about any obsessions.\", \"描述\": \"It's okay to have passions and interests that don't align with the mainstream. But overdoing them to the point of neglecting other important things, or letting yourself get too upset over things that don't matter, isn't healthy for you. \\nEmbracing your obsessions is cooler than hiding them for fear that they're shameful.\\nRemember to cultivate other interests too. It's good to have several interests to build a broader skillset and to have something fun to do if you get tired of one of them for a while.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make time for physical activity (even light physical activity).\", \"描述\": \"A strong body will help you protect your strong brain. Exercise can boost your mood and thinking skills. \\nEven taking a walk around the neighborhood with a friend is better than sitting around all day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't engage in rude or destructive behavior even if the \\\"cool\\\" people are doing it.\", \"描述\": \"Slacking off, experimenting with addictive drugs, drinking excessive alcohol, and other bad habits won't help you in the long run. Keep doing your best in life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Socializing Well\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to listen.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes you might not notice that you are talking and think that people are actually interested but they are annoyed or bored. If you can't think of anything to say ask a question that is not too lame. Most people like to talk about themselves. It's good to be talkative and able to hold up a conversation, but make sure to let the other person or people speak - really listen when they are talking. Practice your speaking skills with people you feel comfortable with, like a sibling or neighbor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start small when talking about your interests.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes people ask what you like to do because they're trying to make conversation or find things in common with you. Give them a brief overview, and only go into detail if they ask a specific question. Otherwise, try asking them what they like to do, since most people enjoy talking about themselves. \\nIf you're insecure about your nerdy hobbies, or if you think people may not connect with them, then try mentioning a more mainstream activity that you also enjoy (such as shopping, visiting the beach, or trying out new restaurants).\\nFor example, if you like to make websites, don't say \\\"I make the best web-pages without even using any programs. I make them with Notepad because I memorized HTML and I'm fluent in JavaScript, and I hate how the WYSIWYG editors force you to conform (conformity is so mainstream) and to relax I like to play MMORPGS, Warcraft on the Dalaran server, to be specific, blah-blah-blah.\\\" Just say, \\\"I like to use the computer and play videogames.\\\" If they ask you specifically, say \\\"I make websites\\\", or \\\"I like to play Warcraft\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Skip the bragging.\", \"描述\": \"Do not try to say that you are better than someone through bragging. You think you're being cool, but bragging is annoying, and that makes you annoying. Don't be a know-it-all who always corrects people's grammar and ideas either.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ignore the jerks.\", \"描述\": \"Getting into fights and letting people bait you isn't cool. Don't even respond if someone insults you (unless you want to look up some snippy comebacks). You are who you are, and if they want to be rude, that's their problem. Don't lower your mentality to theirs! If they keep bothering you, you can walk away, or use one of those snippy comebacks and then walk away. \\nOf course, that doesn't mean you should never take constructive criticism. There's a huge difference between someone saying \\\"I think you're a loser\\\" and someone saying \\\"you keep interrupting people and you need to work on stopping that.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to be easy to talk to.\", \"描述\": \"Do your best to be friendly, humble, and caring towards other people. Give a few compliments and work on your listening skills. If you're generally pleasant to be around, people will usually respect you and think highly of you. \\nShow respect to people who know less than you do. Instead of lording your so-called superiority over them, try being a friend and teaching them anything they'd like to know.\\nSet boundaries if needed. For example, if someone tries to copy your homework, you could say \\\"While I'm happy to talk over the subject, I'm not willing to cheat you of a learning opportunity by letting you copy my work.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being interested is better than being interesting. Listen to other people and they'll come away feeling great about the conversation.\\n\", \"Remember that everyone has something new to teach you. Nobody can know everything, and different people will know about things you don't know much about.\\n\", \"Show kindness and respect for other people, and they're likely to be kind to you in return.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Being a jerk is a quick way to make people to stop liking you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,163 | How to Be Smart in School (Girls) | 1. Being Smart in School
1-1. Do your assignments.
Most people don't like getting homework, but it has an important purpose. Homework helps you review a lesson while the information is still fresh in your mind. It also lets your teacher know if you understand the concepts or need more help.
1-2. Take neat and tidy notes in every class.
Note-taking is a lot of work, but in the long run, it pays off. Writing stuff down in and of itself helps you remember it better. And when the test rolls around, you'll have plenty of material to study from.
Focus on vocabulary when taking notes. Knowing the definitions of different terms in Science or Language Arts is always helpful. Sometimes teachers might give you extra credit, merits or points.
1-3. Clear your mind and focus on the teacher.
Focusing on the teacher will not only allow you to keep up the subject, but if you don’t listen to the teacher, you might risk not knowing how to do your homework or acing an upcoming test.
1-4. Turn in your assignments on time.
If you turn in your assignments on time, your teachers will appreciate it.
Try doing the assignment as soon as possible.
Don’t procrastinate until the last minute. The assignment will not receive a good grade!
2. Studying
2-1. Study your textbook and notes.
This is especially important for any subject you have a difficult time with. Bring your textbook home at night and go over previous lessons for the test (and maybe the next lesson, as well). If you study every night, you'll be fully ready for any test you face.
2-2. Use flash cards when you study.
Flash cards are useful for geography, spelling, vocabulary, math, etc. Have someone quiz you or use them to quiz yourself. That way, you can build up your knowledge so it will stay with you.
2-3. Keep a planner to keep track of your assignment.
Write down your assignments, due dates, test dates, and so on. That way you can stay organized and won't have to worry about forgetting anything.
3. Making Yourself Smarter
3-1. Read every night.
Reading is helpful for people of all ages: it helps you learn vocabulary, spelling, and grammar while expanding your mind to new ideas. Challenge yourself to read a variety of materials such as classics, non-fiction, autobiographies and things outside typical school reading lists. If your school has a library, you should take some time at lunch or break to go there and just read some books to exercise your mind before class.
3-2. Bring your reading book home to study.
If you need to write a book report or essay on it later on, it will be much easier if you write down notes while reading. Post-it notes are helpful for marking important pages for later reference.
3-3. Do further research.
After you get home from school and finish your normal homework, why not look into what you learned during the day? Look for newspaper or online articles, essays, and informational books. Look for worksheets or quizzes as well. Taking some notes is a good idea.
Try to learn something new every day. For instance, you could research a different math term every day, or a new vocabulary word. Try subscribing to a "word per day" website (one that suits your age group). That way you will receive a new word on Twitter or through email every day.
Try to research something for each class; for instance, you could research dichotomous keys for science and composers for music. For Literature, you could study poets, and for History, you could research different historical periods.
3-4. Keep yourself informed on current events.
Read the newspaper and watch the news. This will be helpful in any Politics or Social Studies classes, and it will also help you gain a deeper understanding of the world we live in.
Playing an instrument might not have socializing involved, but it will also help expand your mind.
3-5. Write stories or keep a diary in your spare time.
This will help you practice grammar, syntax, and creative writing in general. If you dedicate time to writing, your teachers will notice.
3-6. Do some science experiments at home and show your teacher.
Examples include a paper-mache volcano, a sundial, or salt crystals. This will impress them (and maybe earn you some extra credit).
4. Keeping Your Relationships
4-1. Be on good terms with your teachers.
Teachers are there to help you. Be nice and respectful to your teacher. Show them that you're serious about your education: pay attention in class, raise your hand, ask questions when you're confused, participate in classroom discussions, and so on. Let them see that you are engaged in the subject. Ask them if there's anything you should work on. And if you need help, ask them for it.
4-2. Join extracurricular clubs.
Studious clubs such as debate, journalism, chess, and math will put you in an academic mindset. You will become more well-rounded and get more familiar with the activities that you enjoy. They are also a great way to meet and befriend like-minded individuals who can teach you lots of new things.
4-3. Keep it balanced!
You need a social life and some fun to be healthy and happy. Everyone needs a break once in a while. Hang out with your friends and spend quality time with your family. Being smart doesn't mean you can't have fun.
Tips
Don't worry about getting into a romantic relationship. You'll have plenty of time for that in college and beyond; at a younger age, romance tends to distract and cause drama. Give yourself time to grow and mature. Also, you can get in to break-ups and that can sometimes lower your grades.
Be healthy, as it can really improve your grades. Eat nutritiously and have three meals a day.
Try to get 8-10 hours of sleep every night. The adequate rest will help you stay focused and energized during the day.
Warnings
If you are being bullied, you should tell your parents or your teachers.
If you struggle, don't worry. Just ask an adult to help you.
If your teacher is mean, just pay attention in class and do your work. You could also read How to Deal With a Mean Teacher
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Smart in School\\n1-1. Do your assignments.\\nMost people don't like getting homework, but it has an important purpose. Homework helps you review a lesson while the information is still fresh in your mind. It also lets your teacher know if you understand the concepts or need more help.\\n1-2. Take neat and tidy notes in every class.\\nNote-taking is a lot of work, but in the long run, it pays off. Writing stuff down in and of itself helps you remember it better. And when the test rolls around, you'll have plenty of material to study from.\\nFocus on vocabulary when taking notes. Knowing the definitions of different terms in Science or Language Arts is always helpful. Sometimes teachers might give you extra credit, merits or points.\\n1-3. Clear your mind and focus on the teacher.\\nFocusing on the teacher will not only allow you to keep up the subject, but if you don’t listen to the teacher, you might risk not knowing how to do your homework or acing an upcoming test.\\n1-4. Turn in your assignments on time.\\nIf you turn in your assignments on time, your teachers will appreciate it.\\nTry doing the assignment as soon as possible.\\nDon’t procrastinate until the last minute. The assignment will not receive a good grade!\\n2. Studying\\n2-1. Study your textbook and notes.\\nThis is especially important for any subject you have a difficult time with. Bring your textbook home at night and go over previous lessons for the test (and maybe the next lesson, as well). If you study every night, you'll be fully ready for any test you face.\\n2-2. Use flash cards when you study.\\nFlash cards are useful for geography, spelling, vocabulary, math, etc. Have someone quiz you or use them to quiz yourself. That way, you can build up your knowledge so it will stay with you.\\n2-3. Keep a planner to keep track of your assignment.\\nWrite down your assignments, due dates, test dates, and so on. That way you can stay organized and won't have to worry about forgetting anything.\\n3. Making Yourself Smarter\\n3-1. Read every night.\\nReading is helpful for people of all ages: it helps you learn vocabulary, spelling, and grammar while expanding your mind to new ideas. Challenge yourself to read a variety of materials such as classics, non-fiction, autobiographies and things outside typical school reading lists. If your school has a library, you should take some time at lunch or break to go there and just read some books to exercise your mind before class.\\n3-2. Bring your reading book home to study.\\nIf you need to write a book report or essay on it later on, it will be much easier if you write down notes while reading. Post-it notes are helpful for marking important pages for later reference.\\n3-3. Do further research.\\nAfter you get home from school and finish your normal homework, why not look into what you learned during the day? Look for newspaper or online articles, essays, and informational books. Look for worksheets or quizzes as well. Taking some notes is a good idea.\\nTry to learn something new every day. For instance, you could research a different math term every day, or a new vocabulary word. Try subscribing to a \\\"word per day\\\" website (one that suits your age group). That way you will receive a new word on Twitter or through email every day.\\nTry to research something for each class; for instance, you could research dichotomous keys for science and composers for music. For Literature, you could study poets, and for History, you could research different historical periods.\\n3-4. Keep yourself informed on current events.\\nRead the newspaper and watch the news. This will be helpful in any Politics or Social Studies classes, and it will also help you gain a deeper understanding of the world we live in.\\nPlaying an instrument might not have socializing involved, but it will also help expand your mind.\\n3-5. Write stories or keep a diary in your spare time.\\nThis will help you practice grammar, syntax, and creative writing in general. If you dedicate time to writing, your teachers will notice.\\n3-6. Do some science experiments at home and show your teacher.\\nExamples include a paper-mache volcano, a sundial, or salt crystals. This will impress them (and maybe earn you some extra credit).\\n4. Keeping Your Relationships\\n4-1. Be on good terms with your teachers.\\nTeachers are there to help you. Be nice and respectful to your teacher. Show them that you're serious about your education: pay attention in class, raise your hand, ask questions when you're confused, participate in classroom discussions, and so on. Let them see that you are engaged in the subject. Ask them if there's anything you should work on. And if you need help, ask them for it.\\n4-2. Join extracurricular clubs.\\nStudious clubs such as debate, journalism, chess, and math will put you in an academic mindset. You will become more well-rounded and get more familiar with the activities that you enjoy. They are also a great way to meet and befriend like-minded individuals who can teach you lots of new things.\\n4-3. Keep it balanced!\\nYou need a social life and some fun to be healthy and happy. Everyone needs a break once in a while. Hang out with your friends and spend quality time with your family. Being smart doesn't mean you can't have fun.\\nTips\\nDon't worry about getting into a romantic relationship. You'll have plenty of time for that in college and beyond; at a younger age, romance tends to distract and cause drama. Give yourself time to grow and mature. Also, you can get in to break-ups and that can sometimes lower your grades.\\nBe healthy, as it can really improve your grades. Eat nutritiously and have three meals a day.\\nTry to get 8-10 hours of sleep every night. The adequate rest will help you stay focused and energized during the day.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are being bullied, you should tell your parents or your teachers.\\nIf you struggle, don't worry. Just ask an adult to help you.\\nIf your teacher is mean, just pay attention in class and do your work. You could also read How to Deal With a Mean Teacher\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you always been the one with a low score on every subject? Have you always been regarded as \\\"the dumb one\\\"? Well, if you want to improve your grades and test scores then read on from step one below to be smarter in school. Better grades in high school can lead to a good college or university, which can lead to a good job, which can lead to a healthy and comfortable life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Smart in School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your assignments.\", \"描述\": \"Most people don't like getting homework, but it has an important purpose. Homework helps you review a lesson while the information is still fresh in your mind. It also lets your teacher know if you understand the concepts or need more help.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take neat and tidy notes in every class.\", \"描述\": \"Note-taking is a lot of work, but in the long run, it pays off. Writing stuff down in and of itself helps you remember it better. And when the test rolls around, you'll have plenty of material to study from.\\nFocus on vocabulary when taking notes. Knowing the definitions of different terms in Science or Language Arts is always helpful. Sometimes teachers might give you extra credit, merits or points.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clear your mind and focus on the teacher.\", \"描述\": \"Focusing on the teacher will not only allow you to keep up the subject, but if you don’t listen to the teacher, you might risk not knowing how to do your homework or acing an upcoming test.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Turn in your assignments on time.\", \"描述\": \"If you turn in your assignments on time, your teachers will appreciate it.\\nTry doing the assignment as soon as possible.\\nDon’t procrastinate until the last minute. The assignment will not receive a good grade!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Studying\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Study your textbook and notes.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important for any subject you have a difficult time with. Bring your textbook home at night and go over previous lessons for the test (and maybe the next lesson, as well). If you study every night, you'll be fully ready for any test you face.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use flash cards when you study.\", \"描述\": \"Flash cards are useful for geography, spelling, vocabulary, math, etc. Have someone quiz you or use them to quiz yourself. That way, you can build up your knowledge so it will stay with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep a planner to keep track of your assignment.\", \"描述\": \"Write down your assignments, due dates, test dates, and so on. That way you can stay organized and won't have to worry about forgetting anything.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Yourself Smarter\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read every night.\", \"描述\": \"Reading is helpful for people of all ages: it helps you learn vocabulary, spelling, and grammar while expanding your mind to new ideas. Challenge yourself to read a variety of materials such as classics, non-fiction, autobiographies and things outside typical school reading lists. If your school has a library, you should take some time at lunch or break to go there and just read some books to exercise your mind before class.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bring your reading book home to study.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to write a book report or essay on it later on, it will be much easier if you write down notes while reading. Post-it notes are helpful for marking important pages for later reference.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do further research.\", \"描述\": \"After you get home from school and finish your normal homework, why not look into what you learned during the day? Look for newspaper or online articles, essays, and informational books. Look for worksheets or quizzes as well. Taking some notes is a good idea.\\nTry to learn something new every day. For instance, you could research a different math term every day, or a new vocabulary word. Try subscribing to a \\\"word per day\\\" website (one that suits your age group). That way you will receive a new word on Twitter or through email every day.\\nTry to research something for each class; for instance, you could research dichotomous keys for science and composers for music. For Literature, you could study poets, and for History, you could research different historical periods.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep yourself informed on current events.\", \"描述\": \"Read the newspaper and watch the news. This will be helpful in any Politics or Social Studies classes, and it will also help you gain a deeper understanding of the world we live in.\\nPlaying an instrument might not have socializing involved, but it will also help expand your mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write stories or keep a diary in your spare time.\", \"描述\": \"This will help you practice grammar, syntax, and creative writing in general. If you dedicate time to writing, your teachers will notice.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do some science experiments at home and show your teacher.\", \"描述\": \"Examples include a paper-mache volcano, a sundial, or salt crystals. This will impress them (and maybe earn you some extra credit).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be on good terms with your teachers.\", \"描述\": \"Teachers are there to help you. Be nice and respectful to your teacher. Show them that you're serious about your education: pay attention in class, raise your hand, ask questions when you're confused, participate in classroom discussions, and so on. Let them see that you are engaged in the subject. Ask them if there's anything you should work on. And if you need help, ask them for it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join extracurricular clubs.\", \"描述\": \"Studious clubs such as debate, journalism, chess, and math will put you in an academic mindset. You will become more well-rounded and get more familiar with the activities that you enjoy. They are also a great way to meet and befriend like-minded individuals who can teach you lots of new things.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep it balanced!\", \"描述\": \"You need a social life and some fun to be healthy and happy. Everyone needs a break once in a while. Hang out with your friends and spend quality time with your family. Being smart doesn't mean you can't have fun.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't worry about getting into a romantic relationship. You'll have plenty of time for that in college and beyond; at a younger age, romance tends to distract and cause drama. Give yourself time to grow and mature. Also, you can get in to break-ups and that can sometimes lower your grades.\\n\", \"Be healthy, as it can really improve your grades. Eat nutritiously and have three meals a day.\\n\", \"Try to get 8-10 hours of sleep every night. The adequate rest will help you stay focused and energized during the day.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are being bullied, you should tell your parents or your teachers.\\n\", \"If you struggle, don't worry. Just ask an adult to help you.\\n\", \"If your teacher is mean, just pay attention in class and do your work. You could also read How to Deal With a Mean Teacher\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,164 | How to Be Smart with Money | 1. Managing Your Budget
1-1. Set your financial goals.
Understanding what you are working toward will help you build a budget to meet your needs. Do you want to pay down debt? Are you saving for a major purchase? Are you just looking to be more financially stable? Identify your top priorities so that you can build your budget to fit them.
For instance, you might set a goal to save 10% of your income.
For a more aggressive savings goal, go for the 80-20 rule, where you save 20% of your income.
1-2. Look at your overall monthly income.
A smart budget is one that doesn’t overextend your means. Start by calculating your total monthly income. Include not just the money you get from work but any cash you get from things like side-hustles, alimony, or child support. If you share expenses with your partner, calculate your combined income to figure out a household budget.
You should aim to have your overall monthly spending not exceed what you bring in. Emergencies and unforeseen occasions happen, but try to set a goal of not using your credit card to cover non-necessary items when your bank balances are low.
1-3. Calculate your necessary expenses.
Your first priority in building a better budget should be those things that need to be paid every month. Paying these expenses should be your first priority, as these items are not only necessary for daily activities but could also damage your credit if you fail to pay them in full and on time.
Such expenses may include your mortgage or rent, utilities, car payments, and credit card payments, as well as things like your groceries, gas, and insurance.
Set up your bills on autopay to make them easy to prioritize. This way the money comes out of your account on the day the bill is due. Set up autopay only if you're sure you'll have enough money each month to pay those bills in full.
1-4. Factor in your non-essential expenses.
Budgets work best when they reflect your daily life. Take a look at your regular, non-essential expenses, and build them into your budget so that you can anticipate your spending. If you get a coffee every morning on the way to work, for example, throw that into your budget.
1-5. Look for places to make cuts.
Creating a budget will help you identify things you can cut from your regular expenses and roll into your savings or debt payments. Investing in a good coffee pot and a mug, for example, can help you save on your morning fix for years to come.
Don’t forget your longer-term expenses. Check things like insurance policies, and see if there are places you can scale back. If you are paying for collision and comprehensive insurance on an old car, for example, you may opt to scale back to liability insurance only.
1-6. Track your monthly spending.
A budget is a guideline for your overall spending habits. Your actual spending will vary each month depending upon your personal needs. Track your spending by using an expenses journal, a spreadsheet, or even a budgeting app to help you ensure that you are staying within your means each month.
If you do exceed your budget goals, don’t beat yourself up. Use the opportunity to see if you need to revise your budget to include new expenses. Remind yourself that getting off-target happens to everyone occasionally and that you can still get to where you want to be.
1-7. Build some savings into your budget.
Exactly how much you save will depend upon your job, your personal expenses, and your individual financial goals. Aim to save something each month, however, whether it’s $50 or $500. Keep that money in a savings account separate from your primary bank account so that it doesn't accidentally get spent.
This savings should be separate from your 401(k) or any other investments that you have. Building a small general-savings balance will help you protect yourself financially if an emergency comes up, such as a major repair on the house or unexpectedly losing your job.
Many financial experts recommend a target savings of six months’ worth of expenses. If you have a lot of debt you need to pay down, aim for a partial emergency fund of two months' expenses. Then focus the rest of your cash on your debt.
2. Paying Off Debts
2-1. Figure out how much you owe.
To understand how best to pay down your debt, you first need to understand how much you owe. Add together all your debts, including credit cards, short-term loans, student loans, and any mortgages or auto financing you have in your name. Look at your total debt numbers to help you understand how much you owe and how long it will realistically take to pay it off.
2-2. Prioritize high-interest debts.
Debts like credit cards tend to have higher interest rates than things like student loans. The longer you carry a balance on high-interest debts, the more you ultimately pay. Prioritize paying down your highest-interest debts first, making minimum payments on other debts and putting extra money into your top debt priorities.
If you have a short-term loan (a car loan, for example), pay that down, too, as quickly as possible. Such loans can become very expensive if not paid off in full and on time.
2-3. Go straight from paying off your highest-interest debt to paying off your next-highest-interest debt.
When you pay off a credit card balance, don’t roll that payment amount back into your discretionary funds. Instead, roll the amount you were paying into your next debt.
If, for example, you finish paying off a credit card, take the amount you were putting toward that card and add it to the minimum payment you've been making on another card or a student loan.
The point is that you want to eliminate all recurring, long- and short-term debt as soon as possible so that you can live interest-free.
3. Setting Up Savings
3-1. Pick a savings goal.
Saving tends to be easier when you know what you’re saving for. Try to set a goal, such as building an emergency fund, saving for a down payment, saving for a major household purchase, or building a retirement fund. If your bank will let you, you can even give your account a nickname such as “Vacation Fund” to help remind you of what you’re working toward.
3-2. Keep your savings in a separate account.
A savings account is generally the easiest place to put your savings if you are just starting out. If you already have a solid emergency fund and have a reasonable amount to invest, such as $1,000, you may consider something like a certificate of deposit (CD). CDs make your money much harder to get to for a fixed period of time but tend to pay you a higher interest rate.
Keeping your savings separate from your checking account will make it less likely that you'll spend your savings. Savings accounts also tend to pay a slightly higher interest rate than checking accounts.
Many banks will allow you to set up an automatic transfer between your checking and savings accounts. Set up a monthly transfer from your checking to your savings, even if it’s just for a small amount. That's a relatively painless way to build your savings.
3-3. Invest raises and bonuses.
If you get a raise, a bonus, a tax refund, or an unexpected windfall, put it in your savings or, if you have one, your retirement account. This is an easy way to help boost your account without compromising your current budget.
If you get a raise, invest the difference between your budgeted salary and your new salary directly into your savings. Since you already have a plan to live off your old salary, you can use the new influx of cash to build your savings.
3-4. Dedicate any additional income to your savings.
If you work a side gig or if you have any extra sources of income, build a budget based on your primary source of income, and dedicate your other earnings to your savings or retirement account. This will help grow your savings faster while making your budget more comfortable.
4. Spending Money Wisely
4-1. Prioritize your needs.
Start each budget period by paying for your needs. This should include your rent or mortgage, utility bills, insurance, gas, groceries, recurring medical expenses, and any other expenses you may have. Do not put any money toward non-essential expenses until all of your necessary living costs have been paid.
4-2. Shop around.
It can be easy to get in the habit of shopping in the same place repeatedly, but taking time to shop around can help you find the best deals. Check in stores and online to look for the best prices for your needs. Look for stores that might be running sales or that specialize in discount or surplus merchandise.
Bulk stores can be useful for buying things you use a lot or things that don't expire, such as cleaning supplies.
4-3. Buy clothes and shoes out-of-season.
New styles of clothing, shoes, and accessories generally come out seasonally. Shopping out-of-season can help you find better prices on fashion items. Shopping online is particularly useful for out-of-season clothes, as not all stores will have non-seasonal items.
4-4. Use cash instead of cards.
For non-necessary expenses such as going out to eat or seeing a movie, set a budget. Withdraw the necessary amount of cash before you go out, and leave your cards at home. This will make it more difficult to overspend or impulse buy while you're out.
4-5. Monitor your spending.
Ultimately, as long as you're not spending more than you bring in, you're on target. Regularly monitor your spending in whatever way works best for you. You may prefer to check your bank account every day, or you could sign up for a money-monitoring app such as Mint, Dollarbird, or BillGuard to help you track your spending.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Managing Your Budget\\n1-1. Set your financial goals.\\nUnderstanding what you are working toward will help you build a budget to meet your needs. Do you want to pay down debt? Are you saving for a major purchase? Are you just looking to be more financially stable? Identify your top priorities so that you can build your budget to fit them.\\nFor instance, you might set a goal to save 10% of your income.\\nFor a more aggressive savings goal, go for the 80-20 rule, where you save 20% of your income.\\n1-2. Look at your overall monthly income.\\nA smart budget is one that doesn’t overextend your means. Start by calculating your total monthly income. Include not just the money you get from work but any cash you get from things like side-hustles, alimony, or child support. If you share expenses with your partner, calculate your combined income to figure out a household budget.\\nYou should aim to have your overall monthly spending not exceed what you bring in. Emergencies and unforeseen occasions happen, but try to set a goal of not using your credit card to cover non-necessary items when your bank balances are low.\\n1-3. Calculate your necessary expenses.\\nYour first priority in building a better budget should be those things that need to be paid every month. Paying these expenses should be your first priority, as these items are not only necessary for daily activities but could also damage your credit if you fail to pay them in full and on time.\\nSuch expenses may include your mortgage or rent, utilities, car payments, and credit card payments, as well as things like your groceries, gas, and insurance.\\nSet up your bills on autopay to make them easy to prioritize. This way the money comes out of your account on the day the bill is due. Set up autopay only if you're sure you'll have enough money each month to pay those bills in full.\\n1-4. Factor in your non-essential expenses.\\nBudgets work best when they reflect your daily life. Take a look at your regular, non-essential expenses, and build them into your budget so that you can anticipate your spending. If you get a coffee every morning on the way to work, for example, throw that into your budget.\\n1-5. Look for places to make cuts.\\nCreating a budget will help you identify things you can cut from your regular expenses and roll into your savings or debt payments. Investing in a good coffee pot and a mug, for example, can help you save on your morning fix for years to come. \\nDon’t forget your longer-term expenses. Check things like insurance policies, and see if there are places you can scale back. If you are paying for collision and comprehensive insurance on an old car, for example, you may opt to scale back to liability insurance only.\\n1-6. Track your monthly spending.\\nA budget is a guideline for your overall spending habits. Your actual spending will vary each month depending upon your personal needs. Track your spending by using an expenses journal, a spreadsheet, or even a budgeting app to help you ensure that you are staying within your means each month. \\nIf you do exceed your budget goals, don’t beat yourself up. Use the opportunity to see if you need to revise your budget to include new expenses. Remind yourself that getting off-target happens to everyone occasionally and that you can still get to where you want to be.\\n1-7. Build some savings into your budget.\\nExactly how much you save will depend upon your job, your personal expenses, and your individual financial goals. Aim to save something each month, however, whether it’s $50 or $500. Keep that money in a savings account separate from your primary bank account so that it doesn't accidentally get spent. \\nThis savings should be separate from your 401(k) or any other investments that you have. Building a small general-savings balance will help you protect yourself financially if an emergency comes up, such as a major repair on the house or unexpectedly losing your job.\\nMany financial experts recommend a target savings of six months’ worth of expenses. If you have a lot of debt you need to pay down, aim for a partial emergency fund of two months' expenses. Then focus the rest of your cash on your debt.\\n2. Paying Off Debts\\n2-1. Figure out how much you owe.\\nTo understand how best to pay down your debt, you first need to understand how much you owe. Add together all your debts, including credit cards, short-term loans, student loans, and any mortgages or auto financing you have in your name. Look at your total debt numbers to help you understand how much you owe and how long it will realistically take to pay it off.\\n2-2. Prioritize high-interest debts.\\nDebts like credit cards tend to have higher interest rates than things like student loans. The longer you carry a balance on high-interest debts, the more you ultimately pay. Prioritize paying down your highest-interest debts first, making minimum payments on other debts and putting extra money into your top debt priorities. \\nIf you have a short-term loan (a car loan, for example), pay that down, too, as quickly as possible. Such loans can become very expensive if not paid off in full and on time.\\n2-3. Go straight from paying off your highest-interest debt to paying off your next-highest-interest debt.\\nWhen you pay off a credit card balance, don’t roll that payment amount back into your discretionary funds. Instead, roll the amount you were paying into your next debt. \\nIf, for example, you finish paying off a credit card, take the amount you were putting toward that card and add it to the minimum payment you've been making on another card or a student loan.\\nThe point is that you want to eliminate all recurring, long- and short-term debt as soon as possible so that you can live interest-free.\\n3. Setting Up Savings\\n3-1. Pick a savings goal.\\nSaving tends to be easier when you know what you’re saving for. Try to set a goal, such as building an emergency fund, saving for a down payment, saving for a major household purchase, or building a retirement fund. If your bank will let you, you can even give your account a nickname such as “Vacation Fund” to help remind you of what you’re working toward.\\n3-2. Keep your savings in a separate account.\\nA savings account is generally the easiest place to put your savings if you are just starting out. If you already have a solid emergency fund and have a reasonable amount to invest, such as $1,000, you may consider something like a certificate of deposit (CD). CDs make your money much harder to get to for a fixed period of time but tend to pay you a higher interest rate. \\nKeeping your savings separate from your checking account will make it less likely that you'll spend your savings. Savings accounts also tend to pay a slightly higher interest rate than checking accounts.\\nMany banks will allow you to set up an automatic transfer between your checking and savings accounts. Set up a monthly transfer from your checking to your savings, even if it’s just for a small amount. That's a relatively painless way to build your savings.\\n3-3. Invest raises and bonuses.\\nIf you get a raise, a bonus, a tax refund, or an unexpected windfall, put it in your savings or, if you have one, your retirement account. This is an easy way to help boost your account without compromising your current budget. \\nIf you get a raise, invest the difference between your budgeted salary and your new salary directly into your savings. Since you already have a plan to live off your old salary, you can use the new influx of cash to build your savings.\\n3-4. Dedicate any additional income to your savings.\\nIf you work a side gig or if you have any extra sources of income, build a budget based on your primary source of income, and dedicate your other earnings to your savings or retirement account. This will help grow your savings faster while making your budget more comfortable.\\n4. Spending Money Wisely\\n4-1. Prioritize your needs.\\nStart each budget period by paying for your needs. This should include your rent or mortgage, utility bills, insurance, gas, groceries, recurring medical expenses, and any other expenses you may have. Do not put any money toward non-essential expenses until all of your necessary living costs have been paid.\\n4-2. Shop around.\\nIt can be easy to get in the habit of shopping in the same place repeatedly, but taking time to shop around can help you find the best deals. Check in stores and online to look for the best prices for your needs. Look for stores that might be running sales or that specialize in discount or surplus merchandise.\\nBulk stores can be useful for buying things you use a lot or things that don't expire, such as cleaning supplies.\\n4-3. Buy clothes and shoes out-of-season.\\nNew styles of clothing, shoes, and accessories generally come out seasonally. Shopping out-of-season can help you find better prices on fashion items. Shopping online is particularly useful for out-of-season clothes, as not all stores will have non-seasonal items.\\n4-4. Use cash instead of cards.\\nFor non-necessary expenses such as going out to eat or seeing a movie, set a budget. Withdraw the necessary amount of cash before you go out, and leave your cards at home. This will make it more difficult to overspend or impulse buy while you're out.\\n4-5. Monitor your spending.\\nUltimately, as long as you're not spending more than you bring in, you're on target. Regularly monitor your spending in whatever way works best for you. You may prefer to check your bank account every day, or you could sign up for a money-monitoring app such as Mint, Dollarbird, or BillGuard to help you track your spending.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being smart with money doesn’t have to involve high-risk investments or having thousands of dollars in the bank. No matter what your current situation is, you can be more financially savvy in your everyday life. Start by building a budget to help you stay within your means and prioritize your financial goals. Then you can work on paying down your debt, building up your savings, and making better spending decisions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Managing Your Budget\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set your financial goals.\", \"描述\": \"Understanding what you are working toward will help you build a budget to meet your needs. Do you want to pay down debt? Are you saving for a major purchase? Are you just looking to be more financially stable? Identify your top priorities so that you can build your budget to fit them.\\nFor instance, you might set a goal to save 10% of your income.\\nFor a more aggressive savings goal, go for the 80-20 rule, where you save 20% of your income.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look at your overall monthly income.\", \"描述\": \"A smart budget is one that doesn’t overextend your means. Start by calculating your total monthly income. Include not just the money you get from work but any cash you get from things like side-hustles, alimony, or child support. If you share expenses with your partner, calculate your combined income to figure out a household budget.\\nYou should aim to have your overall monthly spending not exceed what you bring in. Emergencies and unforeseen occasions happen, but try to set a goal of not using your credit card to cover non-necessary items when your bank balances are low.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Calculate your necessary expenses.\", \"描述\": \"Your first priority in building a better budget should be those things that need to be paid every month. Paying these expenses should be your first priority, as these items are not only necessary for daily activities but could also damage your credit if you fail to pay them in full and on time.\\nSuch expenses may include your mortgage or rent, utilities, car payments, and credit card payments, as well as things like your groceries, gas, and insurance.\\nSet up your bills on autopay to make them easy to prioritize. This way the money comes out of your account on the day the bill is due. Set up autopay only if you're sure you'll have enough money each month to pay those bills in full.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Factor in your non-essential expenses.\", \"描述\": \"Budgets work best when they reflect your daily life. Take a look at your regular, non-essential expenses, and build them into your budget so that you can anticipate your spending. If you get a coffee every morning on the way to work, for example, throw that into your budget.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look for places to make cuts.\", \"描述\": \"Creating a budget will help you identify things you can cut from your regular expenses and roll into your savings or debt payments. Investing in a good coffee pot and a mug, for example, can help you save on your morning fix for years to come. \\nDon’t forget your longer-term expenses. Check things like insurance policies, and see if there are places you can scale back. If you are paying for collision and comprehensive insurance on an old car, for example, you may opt to scale back to liability insurance only.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Track your monthly spending.\", \"描述\": \"A budget is a guideline for your overall spending habits. Your actual spending will vary each month depending upon your personal needs. Track your spending by using an expenses journal, a spreadsheet, or even a budgeting app to help you ensure that you are staying within your means each month. \\nIf you do exceed your budget goals, don’t beat yourself up. Use the opportunity to see if you need to revise your budget to include new expenses. Remind yourself that getting off-target happens to everyone occasionally and that you can still get to where you want to be.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Build some savings into your budget.\", \"描述\": \"Exactly how much you save will depend upon your job, your personal expenses, and your individual financial goals. Aim to save something each month, however, whether it’s $50 or $500. Keep that money in a savings account separate from your primary bank account so that it doesn't accidentally get spent. \\nThis savings should be separate from your 401(k) or any other investments that you have. Building a small general-savings balance will help you protect yourself financially if an emergency comes up, such as a major repair on the house or unexpectedly losing your job.\\nMany financial experts recommend a target savings of six months’ worth of expenses. If you have a lot of debt you need to pay down, aim for a partial emergency fund of two months' expenses. Then focus the rest of your cash on your debt.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Paying Off Debts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out how much you owe.\", \"描述\": \"To understand how best to pay down your debt, you first need to understand how much you owe. Add together all your debts, including credit cards, short-term loans, student loans, and any mortgages or auto financing you have in your name. Look at your total debt numbers to help you understand how much you owe and how long it will realistically take to pay it off.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prioritize high-interest debts.\", \"描述\": \"Debts like credit cards tend to have higher interest rates than things like student loans. The longer you carry a balance on high-interest debts, the more you ultimately pay. Prioritize paying down your highest-interest debts first, making minimum payments on other debts and putting extra money into your top debt priorities. \\nIf you have a short-term loan (a car loan, for example), pay that down, too, as quickly as possible. Such loans can become very expensive if not paid off in full and on time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go straight from paying off your highest-interest debt to paying off your next-highest-interest debt.\", \"描述\": \"When you pay off a credit card balance, don’t roll that payment amount back into your discretionary funds. Instead, roll the amount you were paying into your next debt. \\nIf, for example, you finish paying off a credit card, take the amount you were putting toward that card and add it to the minimum payment you've been making on another card or a student loan.\\nThe point is that you want to eliminate all recurring, long- and short-term debt as soon as possible so that you can live interest-free.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Setting Up Savings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a savings goal.\", \"描述\": \"Saving tends to be easier when you know what you’re saving for. Try to set a goal, such as building an emergency fund, saving for a down payment, saving for a major household purchase, or building a retirement fund. If your bank will let you, you can even give your account a nickname such as “Vacation Fund” to help remind you of what you’re working toward.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your savings in a separate account.\", \"描述\": \"A savings account is generally the easiest place to put your savings if you are just starting out. If you already have a solid emergency fund and have a reasonable amount to invest, such as $1,000, you may consider something like a certificate of deposit (CD). CDs make your money much harder to get to for a fixed period of time but tend to pay you a higher interest rate. \\nKeeping your savings separate from your checking account will make it less likely that you'll spend your savings. Savings accounts also tend to pay a slightly higher interest rate than checking accounts.\\nMany banks will allow you to set up an automatic transfer between your checking and savings accounts. Set up a monthly transfer from your checking to your savings, even if it’s just for a small amount. That's a relatively painless way to build your savings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Invest raises and bonuses.\", \"描述\": \"If you get a raise, a bonus, a tax refund, or an unexpected windfall, put it in your savings or, if you have one, your retirement account. This is an easy way to help boost your account without compromising your current budget. \\nIf you get a raise, invest the difference between your budgeted salary and your new salary directly into your savings. Since you already have a plan to live off your old salary, you can use the new influx of cash to build your savings.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dedicate any additional income to your savings.\", \"描述\": \"If you work a side gig or if you have any extra sources of income, build a budget based on your primary source of income, and dedicate your other earnings to your savings or retirement account. This will help grow your savings faster while making your budget more comfortable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spending Money Wisely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prioritize your needs.\", \"描述\": \"Start each budget period by paying for your needs. This should include your rent or mortgage, utility bills, insurance, gas, groceries, recurring medical expenses, and any other expenses you may have. Do not put any money toward non-essential expenses until all of your necessary living costs have been paid.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Shop around.\", \"描述\": \"It can be easy to get in the habit of shopping in the same place repeatedly, but taking time to shop around can help you find the best deals. Check in stores and online to look for the best prices for your needs. Look for stores that might be running sales or that specialize in discount or surplus merchandise.\\nBulk stores can be useful for buying things you use a lot or things that don't expire, such as cleaning supplies.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy clothes and shoes out-of-season.\", \"描述\": \"New styles of clothing, shoes, and accessories generally come out seasonally. Shopping out-of-season can help you find better prices on fashion items. Shopping online is particularly useful for out-of-season clothes, as not all stores will have non-seasonal items.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use cash instead of cards.\", \"描述\": \"For non-necessary expenses such as going out to eat or seeing a movie, set a budget. Withdraw the necessary amount of cash before you go out, and leave your cards at home. This will make it more difficult to overspend or impulse buy while you're out.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Monitor your spending.\", \"描述\": \"Ultimately, as long as you're not spending more than you bring in, you're on target. Regularly monitor your spending in whatever way works best for you. You may prefer to check your bank account every day, or you could sign up for a money-monitoring app such as Mint, Dollarbird, or BillGuard to help you track your spending.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,165 | How to Be Smooth over Text | 1. Use a thoughtful or playful opener to get things started.
Set the tone for the conversation right from the start.
You don’t want to come on too strong right out of the gate. Start with something like a photo or song that reminds you of them or try cracking an inside joke that the two of you share. Let them know you’re thinking of them and you’re down to chat.
For instance, you could try, “I was just thinking about that time we took a pizza to the movies. Remember that?”
You could also try, “I was driving along, minding my own business, and then Adele came on the radio and it reminded me of you.”
They’ll feel special and excited to text with you if you start off on the right foot.
2. Mention something they recently did.
It’s a slick way to let them know you’re paying attention to them.
Casually drop something they did or that they’ve recently accomplished in a message and compliment them for it. Play it cool and confident and act like it’s common knowledge. They’ll love knowing that you notice them, even when they don’t realize it.
For instance, you could text, “Saw you got a new car, it looks awesome!” or “Love the haircut. Looks really good on you!”
You could also focus on one of their accomplishments and try, “Heard you got into the college you always wanted. That’s amazing.”
3. Start a friendly debate.
It’s an easy way to get them engaged and responding to you.
Try sending them a choice between 2 options and ask which one is better. Whichever one they choose, talk about how the other one is better. Keep it light and friendly and go toe-to-toe with them for as long as you can. A little fun frustration can make you look confident and smooth.
Try texting, “Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Which is better and why?”
You could also try something really silly like, “So, I need to settle this. Is cereal soup? It has all of the properties, what do you think?”
4. Ask a genuine question.
Show them you’re interested in what they have to say.
Try asking for their recommendation on something you care about and tell them that you trust and value their opinion. You could also ask them a personal question to get to know them better. They may like how confident you are and how interested you are to know more about them.
You could try, “I’m thinking about getting a dog and I see how good you are with your pup. Got any tips about what I should do or prepare for?”
You could also try, “Can I ask you a question? My sister and I aren’t super close. How do you get along with your siblings?”
5. Tease them a bit.
Poke a little good-natured fun to get them smiling.
Show them you aren’t a suck-up or trying hard to get them to like you. Prod them a bit with your texts so they’ll see how cool and confident you are.
For instance, you could try, “So you’re good with numbers? What are you, some kind of nerd?”
You could also try, “Yeah the new pizza place is good, but I know you hate cheese and deliciousness, so you probably won’t like it.”
6. Make fun of yourself.
They’ll appreciate that you don’t take yourself so seriously.
Use tongue-in-cheek comments to put yourself down, which can cause them to let their guard down a bit. Show them you aren’t pretentious or self-absorbed by taking a crack or two at yourself every now and then.
Try, “Here’s the thing: I’m not very smart, so that’s probably why I forgot to sign up in time.”
You could also try using goofy phrases or puns. For instance, if they say they forgot to pick up seasonings from the store, you could say, “So, you’re saying you’re out of thyme? I am so sorry. Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 50-year-old dad.”
7. Send them a meme they’ll like.
They’ll love that you get their sense of humor.
Memes can be really useful. If you find one that you know relates to something in their life or personality, send it to them! You can add a little note letting them know you thought they’d like it, or just send it with no comment at all. When they see it, they’ll smile, appreciate that you get them, and probably be excited to respond.
For example, if they’re huge Star Trek fans, you could send a meme with Captain Picard and say something like, “Thought you might like this” with a winking emoji.
You could even make a meme out of an inside joke that you have with them using a meme-making app if you’re feeling extra creative.
8. Casually invite them to an event.
Confidently ask them to join you like it’s no big deal.
Mention that you’ve got an event coming up that you have to go to and tell them you’d love them to come if they can. They may be impressed at how direct and confident you are and they might just take you up on the offer. Bam! Just like that, you’ve got a date.
For instance, you could try, “Hey, my cousin is getting married in June, any chance you’d like to come with me?” or “I’ve got this work party I can’t get out of. Any chance you’d want to come with me? Free food and drinks!”
9. Offer a date idea and ask them out.
It’s a simple (and smooth) way to land a date.
Mention a new restaurant, theater performance, movie, or something else that you’re interested in checking out. Then, ask them if they’d like to come along with you. If they say yes, you’ve just asked them out, you smooth fox!
Try, “I heard the new Italian place across town has the best meatballs in the world. You wanna come find out with me on Friday?”
You could also try, “This new Brad Pitt movie is supposed to be wild. You wanna go see it this weekend?”
10. Spice things up with a flirty question.
Show them how confident you are by just going for it.
Use questions to heat up the conversation by asking them what they’d like to do with (or maybe to) you if you were together right now. You could also send a risqué photo of yourself and ask them what they think about it. Show them how confident and into them you are and they may just take the bait and play along with you.
For instance, you could send, “What would you do to me if we were alone together right now?”
You could also send a shot of yourself in a bathing suit and say something like, “I feel slightly overdressed. Can you help me out of this?”
11. Avoid sending multiple messages in a row.
Stay calm and give them time to respond.
While it’s okay to send a follow-up text if they suddenly stop responding to you, try not to send more than three in a row. It can make you look desperate and un-smooth. Just be patient and wait for them to respond. Act like it doesn’t bother you so you seem cool and confident.
Tips
If it helps, try picturing yourself as super calm and confident. It can help you come up with smooth texts to send.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Use a thoughtful or playful opener to get things started.\\nSet the tone for the conversation right from the start.\\nYou don’t want to come on too strong right out of the gate. Start with something like a photo or song that reminds you of them or try cracking an inside joke that the two of you share. Let them know you’re thinking of them and you’re down to chat.\\nFor instance, you could try, “I was just thinking about that time we took a pizza to the movies. Remember that?”\\nYou could also try, “I was driving along, minding my own business, and then Adele came on the radio and it reminded me of you.”\\nThey’ll feel special and excited to text with you if you start off on the right foot.\\n2. Mention something they recently did.\\nIt’s a slick way to let them know you’re paying attention to them.\\nCasually drop something they did or that they’ve recently accomplished in a message and compliment them for it. Play it cool and confident and act like it’s common knowledge. They’ll love knowing that you notice them, even when they don’t realize it.\\nFor instance, you could text, “Saw you got a new car, it looks awesome!” or “Love the haircut. Looks really good on you!”\\nYou could also focus on one of their accomplishments and try, “Heard you got into the college you always wanted. That’s amazing.”\\n3. Start a friendly debate.\\nIt’s an easy way to get them engaged and responding to you.\\nTry sending them a choice between 2 options and ask which one is better. Whichever one they choose, talk about how the other one is better. Keep it light and friendly and go toe-to-toe with them for as long as you can. A little fun frustration can make you look confident and smooth.\\nTry texting, “Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Which is better and why?”\\nYou could also try something really silly like, “So, I need to settle this. Is cereal soup? It has all of the properties, what do you think?”\\n4. Ask a genuine question.\\nShow them you’re interested in what they have to say.\\nTry asking for their recommendation on something you care about and tell them that you trust and value their opinion. You could also ask them a personal question to get to know them better. They may like how confident you are and how interested you are to know more about them.\\nYou could try, “I’m thinking about getting a dog and I see how good you are with your pup. Got any tips about what I should do or prepare for?”\\nYou could also try, “Can I ask you a question? My sister and I aren’t super close. How do you get along with your siblings?”\\n5. Tease them a bit.\\nPoke a little good-natured fun to get them smiling.\\nShow them you aren’t a suck-up or trying hard to get them to like you. Prod them a bit with your texts so they’ll see how cool and confident you are.\\nFor instance, you could try, “So you’re good with numbers? What are you, some kind of nerd?”\\nYou could also try, “Yeah the new pizza place is good, but I know you hate cheese and deliciousness, so you probably won’t like it.”\\n6. Make fun of yourself.\\nThey’ll appreciate that you don’t take yourself so seriously.\\nUse tongue-in-cheek comments to put yourself down, which can cause them to let their guard down a bit. Show them you aren’t pretentious or self-absorbed by taking a crack or two at yourself every now and then.\\nTry, “Here’s the thing: I’m not very smart, so that’s probably why I forgot to sign up in time.”\\nYou could also try using goofy phrases or puns. For instance, if they say they forgot to pick up seasonings from the store, you could say, “So, you’re saying you’re out of thyme? I am so sorry. Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 50-year-old dad.”\\n7. Send them a meme they’ll like.\\nThey’ll love that you get their sense of humor.\\nMemes can be really useful. If you find one that you know relates to something in their life or personality, send it to them! You can add a little note letting them know you thought they’d like it, or just send it with no comment at all. When they see it, they’ll smile, appreciate that you get them, and probably be excited to respond.\\nFor example, if they’re huge Star Trek fans, you could send a meme with Captain Picard and say something like, “Thought you might like this” with a winking emoji.\\nYou could even make a meme out of an inside joke that you have with them using a meme-making app if you’re feeling extra creative.\\n8. Casually invite them to an event.\\nConfidently ask them to join you like it’s no big deal.\\nMention that you’ve got an event coming up that you have to go to and tell them you’d love them to come if they can. They may be impressed at how direct and confident you are and they might just take you up on the offer. Bam! Just like that, you’ve got a date.\\nFor instance, you could try, “Hey, my cousin is getting married in June, any chance you’d like to come with me?” or “I’ve got this work party I can’t get out of. Any chance you’d want to come with me? Free food and drinks!”\\n9. Offer a date idea and ask them out.\\nIt’s a simple (and smooth) way to land a date.\\nMention a new restaurant, theater performance, movie, or something else that you’re interested in checking out. Then, ask them if they’d like to come along with you. If they say yes, you’ve just asked them out, you smooth fox!\\nTry, “I heard the new Italian place across town has the best meatballs in the world. You wanna come find out with me on Friday?”\\nYou could also try, “This new Brad Pitt movie is supposed to be wild. You wanna go see it this weekend?”\\n10. Spice things up with a flirty question.\\nShow them how confident you are by just going for it.\\nUse questions to heat up the conversation by asking them what they’d like to do with (or maybe to) you if you were together right now. You could also send a risqué photo of yourself and ask them what they think about it. Show them how confident and into them you are and they may just take the bait and play along with you.\\nFor instance, you could send, “What would you do to me if we were alone together right now?”\\nYou could also send a shot of yourself in a bathing suit and say something like, “I feel slightly overdressed. Can you help me out of this?”\\n11. Avoid sending multiple messages in a row.\\nStay calm and give them time to respond.\\nWhile it’s okay to send a follow-up text if they suddenly stop responding to you, try not to send more than three in a row. It can make you look desperate and un-smooth. Just be patient and wait for them to respond. Act like it doesn’t bother you so you seem cool and confident.\\nTips\\nIf it helps, try picturing yourself as super calm and confident. It can help you come up with smooth texts to send.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Who doesn’t want to be silky smooth and confident when you’re talking to the guy or girl of your dreams? If your goal is to come off as suave so you can impress someone (and maybe ask them out), it may not be as tough as you think. Plus, if you do it over text, you can take your time and come up with the perfect words. To help you out, we’ve put together a list of tips and ideas you can use to send the smoothest texts of your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use a thoughtful or playful opener to get things started.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set the tone for the conversation right from the start.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to come on too strong right out of the gate. Start with something like a photo or song that reminds you of them or try cracking an inside joke that the two of you share. Let them know you’re thinking of them and you’re down to chat.\\nFor instance, you could try, “I was just thinking about that time we took a pizza to the movies. Remember that?”\\nYou could also try, “I was driving along, minding my own business, and then Adele came on the radio and it reminded me of you.”\\nThey’ll feel special and excited to text with you if you start off on the right foot.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mention something they recently did.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a slick way to let them know you’re paying attention to them.\", \"描述\": \"Casually drop something they did or that they’ve recently accomplished in a message and compliment them for it. Play it cool and confident and act like it’s common knowledge. They’ll love knowing that you notice them, even when they don’t realize it.\\nFor instance, you could text, “Saw you got a new car, it looks awesome!” or “Love the haircut. Looks really good on you!”\\nYou could also focus on one of their accomplishments and try, “Heard you got into the college you always wanted. That’s amazing.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start a friendly debate.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s an easy way to get them engaged and responding to you.\", \"描述\": \"Try sending them a choice between 2 options and ask which one is better. Whichever one they choose, talk about how the other one is better. Keep it light and friendly and go toe-to-toe with them for as long as you can. A little fun frustration can make you look confident and smooth.\\nTry texting, “Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Which is better and why?”\\nYou could also try something really silly like, “So, I need to settle this. Is cereal soup? It has all of the properties, what do you think?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask a genuine question.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show them you’re interested in what they have to say.\", \"描述\": \"Try asking for their recommendation on something you care about and tell them that you trust and value their opinion. You could also ask them a personal question to get to know them better. They may like how confident you are and how interested you are to know more about them.\\nYou could try, “I’m thinking about getting a dog and I see how good you are with your pup. Got any tips about what I should do or prepare for?”\\nYou could also try, “Can I ask you a question? My sister and I aren’t super close. How do you get along with your siblings?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tease them a bit.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Poke a little good-natured fun to get them smiling.\", \"描述\": \"Show them you aren’t a suck-up or trying hard to get them to like you. Prod them a bit with your texts so they’ll see how cool and confident you are.\\nFor instance, you could try, “So you’re good with numbers? What are you, some kind of nerd?”\\nYou could also try, “Yeah the new pizza place is good, but I know you hate cheese and deliciousness, so you probably won’t like it.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make fun of yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"They’ll appreciate that you don’t take yourself so seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Use tongue-in-cheek comments to put yourself down, which can cause them to let their guard down a bit. Show them you aren’t pretentious or self-absorbed by taking a crack or two at yourself every now and then.\\nTry, “Here’s the thing: I’m not very smart, so that’s probably why I forgot to sign up in time.”\\nYou could also try using goofy phrases or puns. For instance, if they say they forgot to pick up seasonings from the store, you could say, “So, you’re saying you’re out of thyme? I am so sorry. Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 50-year-old dad.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Send them a meme they’ll like.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"They’ll love that you get their sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"Memes can be really useful. If you find one that you know relates to something in their life or personality, send it to them! You can add a little note letting them know you thought they’d like it, or just send it with no comment at all. When they see it, they’ll smile, appreciate that you get them, and probably be excited to respond.\\nFor example, if they’re huge Star Trek fans, you could send a meme with Captain Picard and say something like, “Thought you might like this” with a winking emoji.\\nYou could even make a meme out of an inside joke that you have with them using a meme-making app if you’re feeling extra creative.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Casually invite them to an event.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Confidently ask them to join you like it’s no big deal.\", \"描述\": \"Mention that you’ve got an event coming up that you have to go to and tell them you’d love them to come if they can. They may be impressed at how direct and confident you are and they might just take you up on the offer. Bam! Just like that, you’ve got a date.\\nFor instance, you could try, “Hey, my cousin is getting married in June, any chance you’d like to come with me?” or “I’ve got this work party I can’t get out of. Any chance you’d want to come with me? Free food and drinks!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Offer a date idea and ask them out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a simple (and smooth) way to land a date.\", \"描述\": \"Mention a new restaurant, theater performance, movie, or something else that you’re interested in checking out. Then, ask them if they’d like to come along with you. If they say yes, you’ve just asked them out, you smooth fox!\\nTry, “I heard the new Italian place across town has the best meatballs in the world. You wanna come find out with me on Friday?”\\nYou could also try, “This new Brad Pitt movie is supposed to be wild. You wanna go see it this weekend?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Spice things up with a flirty question.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show them how confident you are by just going for it.\", \"描述\": \"Use questions to heat up the conversation by asking them what they’d like to do with (or maybe to) you if you were together right now. You could also send a risqué photo of yourself and ask them what they think about it. Show them how confident and into them you are and they may just take the bait and play along with you.\\nFor instance, you could send, “What would you do to me if we were alone together right now?”\\nYou could also send a shot of yourself in a bathing suit and say something like, “I feel slightly overdressed. Can you help me out of this?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Avoid sending multiple messages in a row.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm and give them time to respond.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s okay to send a follow-up text if they suddenly stop responding to you, try not to send more than three in a row. It can make you look desperate and un-smooth. Just be patient and wait for them to respond. Act like it doesn’t bother you so you seem cool and confident.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If it helps, try picturing yourself as super calm and confident. It can help you come up with smooth texts to send.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,166 | How to Be Smooth with the Ladies | 1. Acting Smooth
1-1. Be playful.
Experts agree: for many women, one of the most attractive traits a man can have is a sense of playfulness. It's not hard to see why — talking to people who are playful and enjoy the spirited back-and-forth "dance" of a feisty conversation is a lot more fun than talking to people who are earnest but uninteresting. Keep keep a sense of mischievousness when you talk to women. Look for opportunities to joke, gently tease her, and deliberately misunderstand the things she says. If she's in the mood for a little verbal back-and-forth, this can be absolutely irresistible.
For instance, let's say that you're talking to a lady you're attracted to at a party. If she says that she's in from out of town and that she's going home soon, you might try saying something like "What, you're already sick of us?" with a smile on your face. When she starts to protest, pretend to get exaggeratedly offended, all while smiling to make you sarcasm clear. Many women react really well to this sort of gentle, playful teasing (which some call "flirting").
1-2. Stay effortlessly in control of the situation.
There's a good reason why ladies' men are called "smooth operators": these types of people often have dominant personalities and know how to control (or "operate") social situations to their benefit. The smoothest, suavest players of all know how to lead conversations in the directions they want without even appearing to do so.
This effortlessness is key — someone who insists on dominating a social interaction but is visibly agitated about the ordeal can give truly bizarre mixed signals. Think about it: If you were having a conversation with someone who was obviously trying to woo you and was obviously nervously about it, would you be attracted? Doubtful.
Don't bother with "pick up artist" guides that encourage you to use carefully-planned routines of back-handed compliments and psychological tricks to attract women. Remember, if you're basically reciting from a script when you're talking to a woman, you're not really effortlessly in control of the situation, are you?
1-3. Keep your reactions low-key.
We've all seen it on TV and in the movies — the quiet yet dashing bad boy who says almost nothing but seems to get girls without even trying (e.g., "The name's Bond. James Bond."). While popular entertainment can sometimes create some unhealthy attitudes towards dating, there is a tiny kernel of truth here. Being cool and understated can make a man more attractive to women. Try to react to almost everything that happens around you casually, as if it's completely natural. Being at ease no matter what happens is a supreme show of confidence, and confidence is almost always sexy.
To be clear, this doesn't mean you need to be tight-lipped about everything. It does mean, however, that if you see an opportunity to play coy and spark a little intrigue in your conversation, you should take it and see what happens. For instance, if a lovely lady casually asks where you live, you might respond with, "Oh, why? Were you planning on going there later?" It's a little cheesy, but with a response like this, you're revealing nothing about yourself and getting a playful dig at your female companion in at the same time.
It's especially important to have a low-key reactions to being rejected. If you're trying to start conversations with lots of different ladies at a party, there's a chance that some (or even all) of them won't be interested in talking to you. This is OK. React to each rejection with no more hurt feelings than if you've just been told your shoes are untied.
1-4. Casually initiate affection, but never be desperate.
Let's be honest — if you're trying to "be smooth" with the ladies, you probably eventually want to engage in a little mutual affection with them, whether this is kissing, having sex, or just holding hands (hey, everyone starts somewhere). This is great — healthy, mutual displays of affection are wonderful things. Keep this in mind when you're in situations with ladies where you want to initiate affection. Truly smooth men aren't scared or ashamed of making their intentions known. However, they're also not needy or desperate. Not only is desperation tremendously unattractive to most people, but it also demonstrates low self-worth (and smooth guys always have high self-worth).
For example, let's say that you've just wrapped up a great first date with a wonderful lady and you're walking out of the restaurant together. If you feel a strong attraction and want to hold her hand, casually grab hold of it as you move through a crowd of people as if it's perfectly natural. Don't make a big production out of the act — do it as if you haven't even thought about the implications. If she appears ill at ease or loosens her grip, you can easily follow her lead and let go without making the situation awkward, but if she reacts well, hold on tight!
Real smooth guys aren't creeps. Being casually affectionate is one thing, but harassing women or violating their personal space is another, so keep your hands to yourself or you may be wearing a palm print on your cheek for the next few days.
1-5. Don't place any expectations on your social interactions.
Genuinely smooth guys enjoy what they do. They like having playful, intriguing conversations with women. They don't do this just to get what they want. Any sort of romance or dating success that comes their way is a happy by-product of them doing what they love, not something that they agonize over and "fight" to get. When you're talking to a woman you're attracted to, don't have an endgame in sight. Just say and do what comes naturally. If your conversation naturally leads you to romance, great. If it doesn't, that's that — you had fun anyway!
This is one reason why you may want to shy away from "pick up artist"-style seduction guides. These guides are often written with one goal in mind (sex, obviously), and while their routines may or may not work on some small subset of women, they'll never get you the genuine joy that comes from naturally, effortlessly connecting with another human being.
1-6. Be funny.
Everyone enjoys a good laugh. Humor makes everybody feel good, so if you can gain a reputation as a funny person, other people (including ladies) will naturally want to be around you. Try to look for opportunities to make light of the situation you're in or (gently) poke fun at the people around you. Most people have the natural ability to be funny when they're relaxed and around people they like, but if you really feel like you're having a hard time being funny, you might want to try researching the topic (our guide to being funny is a good place to start).
Be careful with self-deprecating humor. While a few exceptional individuals can manage to be sexy while making fun of themselves (like the male leads in Woody Allen movies), it's a risky move for most ordinary people, who may unintentionally make themselves look self-conscious or insecure with this type of approach.
2. Being Cool and Confident
2-1. Fake it until you make it.
When you're stressing out about a high-pressure social situation you're in, it can be difficult to remember that everyone around you can't tell you're nervous unless you show or tell them you are. This means that if you have the right attitude and you control your behavior in the right ways, they never need to know! Simply acting confident is usually enough to fool people into thinking that you are. Best of all, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy — usually, acting confident can help make you feel confident, which will make it easier to look confident, and so on.
For starters, try acting like everything you do is natural. Don't hesitate over any decision and don't agonize over how to perform small, unimportant actions. For instance, if you're at a party and you want to ask someone to dance, don't think about it — just do it! Go right over to the person you've set your eyes on and ask, "Hey, do you want to dance?" That's all you need to do.
2-2. Use powerful body language.
Always remember — look the part, be the part! If you look like you're confident and self-assured, you may as well be confident, because other people won't be able to tell the difference. If you're naturally shy or introverted and you're trying to be smooth, using confident and dominant (but relaxed) body language can immediately improve your prospects with the ladies. Below are just a few tips for the uninitiated:
Stand up straight with your shoulders pulled gently back. Doing this makes you appear larger, puffs out your chest, and usually makes whatever muscles you've got look as good as possible.
Hold your head high. Keeping your head up makes you appear proud, confident, and unafraid of your surroundings. However, don't look down your nose at others — this can appear snobby or condescending.
Don't be afraid to take up space. Confident people aren't afraid to have a broad, relaxed stance. If you're sitting down, don't be afraid to sit back and spread your legs a little. If you're standing around other people in a crowded area, don't recoil from others if you accidentally brush against them.
Don't cross your arms. This makes you appear closed-off and inaccessible.
Don't stare at your phone. This makes you look busy and preoccupied and will discourage people from talking to you.
2-3. Use appropriate eye contact.
Confident people aren't afraid to look other people in the eye (especially if these other people are attractive, interesting women). There's a reason that looking someone in the eye is traditionally seen as a sign that someone is genuine. Doing this gives the impression that you're open, un-intimidated, and attentive. On the other hand, an unwillingness to look someone in the eye can make you seem like you're ashamed, nervous, or hiding something, even if you're not. Try to look people in the eye most of the time when you're talking to them, and when you're not talking to them, use a few seconds of steady eye contact to spark someone's interest from across the room.
Don't stare or leer at women — too much eye contact can definitely be a bad thing! If you're talking to a woman, feel free to maintain fairly steady eye contact, but if you're not, looking her in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time can put her seriously ill-at-ease.
2-4. Relax!
Quick, what's the hardest thing to do once you're commanded to do it? If you guessed "relax", you're right. Actively trying to relax is like swimming in quicksand — the harder you work, the less progress you make. If you find yourself stressing about difficult social situations, unfortunately, there is no single "right" way to get to the point where you can relax in the same situations. Everyone relaxes in different ways. However, many people see success with a few common methods, listed below:
Mentally downplaying the importance of the situation or poking fun at it
Exercising
Getting lots of sleep
Deep breathing exercises
Meditating
2-5. Get out and live a little.
Picture this: you're chatting with a lady you're attracted to and you're playing things coy (as any smooth operator should), withholding information about yourself just enough to keep her intrigued. Let's say that things go well and you arrange a date for the weekend — when you eventually do start to tell her about yourself, would you prefer to present yourself as a complex, interesting person, or as someone without any dreams or ambitions who mainly just watches TV and browses the internet? The answer should be obvious. Truly smooth men back up their suave mystique with actual interesting lives. They spend time pursuing their passions and trying new things. Not only will making an effort to get out and experience the world make you appear more interesting — it'll also give you the confidence that only a wealth of life experiences can.
If you're looking for new hobbies, start with something that interests you or that you naturally enjoy and try to become great at that thing. Do you like working with your hands? Start making your own furniture. Do you like music? Pick up a cheap instrument at a pawn shop and start practicing. Do you love video games? Even this can be a source of interesting experiences if, for instance, you participate in gaming tournaments or make a gaming channel on YouTube.
3. Keeping Your Unique Charm
3-1. Don't be ashamed of your interests.
Ask the average person what a "smooth guy" is like and you'll probably get an answer along the lines of, "He's impeccably handsome, cool, confident, and well-dressed, with tons of masculine hobbies and interests." While the first four items in this list can certainly be a big help in the dating game, the last is hardly the end-all-be-all it's often made out to be. Don't feel a need to conceal or lie about the things you like to do. If you're geeky, be unabashedly geeky. If you like to do something really bizarre, like watch syrupy French romance films from the silent film era, don't hide this fact — it's super cool to like something unique! Being 100% honest about how you like to spend your time makes you seem genuine and confident and distinguishes you from everyone else around you.
3-2. Look for women where you naturally hang out.
Clubs, singles bars, and other traditional dating "hot spots" are great for people who are in their element when the music's blaring loud and everyone around them is drunk. For everyone else, it may be much easier to meet people elsewhere. For starters, try meeting women at places and events that you naturally enjoy attending. For instance, if you like exercise and the outdoors, you might want to try running in a popular park. By using this approach, you're more likely to meet women that you have things in common with than you would be simply visiting a local club.
3-3. Have your own style.
We've all heard it before: "Be yourself and you'll go far." This age-old advice is a little cheesy, but when it comes to smooth operators, it's completely true. Smooth guys don't follow others when it comes to defining themselves — they do what they want to do and present themselves how they want to be presented and let others judge them as they see fit. Having your own unique personal style makes you hugely more interesting and memorable than trying to be someone else's idea of "cool", so being yourself isn't only easier than being trendy, it's also smarter if you're trying to win people over.
One way to immediately and visibly differentiate yourself from other people is to dress in a way that's not 100% ordinary (while obviously not completely absurd either). For instance, you might want to try buying your clothes at a second-hand store or a vintage shop for a worn-in, retro look or even making your own clothes and accessories by knitting or sewing them yourself.
3-4. Be open and sincere.
When it comes to pursuing women, honesty is the best policy. For the most part, everyone (ladies included) can tell a phony from a genuine person, so trying to act like someone you're not or conceal your true feelings will just lead to mutual feelings of awkwardness. Besides this, most women think sincerity is cute, so you have almost no reason not to be completely honest and open about your thoughts, opinions, and intentions. The absolute worst-case scenario that can occur from being honest is that you lose the opportunity to date someone, but if you would have had to lie about the way you feel to date this person, would you ever have been completely happy with them? Probably not.
For instance, if you've got certain "dealbreakers" — things that you simply can't tolerate in your significant other, you'll definitely want to be open and honest about these with your partner (or potential partner). Think about it: would you rather spend a few weeks pretending to be into someone who smokes, belches, and listens to Limp Bizkit all day, or would you rather politely nip this relationship in the bud?
Note that, however, there is such a thing as over-sharing. While you'll want to be sincere about your thoughts and feelings, you probably won't want to make things awkward by bringing up intensely personal information before you truly get to know someone.
3-5. Love thyself before loving others.
You can't love other people if you don't love yourself, so if you have a lousy opinion of yourself, steer clear of romance until you do. Ideally, romantic relationships should be the cherry on top of a happy, satisfied life — experiences that are truly wonderful to have, but not things that you need to be happy. Smooth men are always at ease partly because they know that, no matter what happens in their romantic life, they'll be more or less happy regardless. To have a happy foundation for the possibility of future relationships, below are just a few of the things you will probably want your life to contain:
A reasonable amount of personal independence (like, for instance, being able to support yourself and spend your free time as you please).
The opportunity (and motivation) to pursue hobbies and interests.
Stable, satisfying non-romantic friendships.
A satisfying level of professional and/or personal achievement (like performing well at your job, becoming an important member of your community, etc.)
Tips
Listening skills, trust, and respect are the three things are generally the most important attributes you will need if you start a relationship with a woman.[29]
X
Research source
Try to be sensitive when she's telling you about her past.
Do those little things for her. Hold the door, offer to pick up her tab, courteous, and etc. Many women love that.
Warnings
Never wear the same clothes two days in a row. Girls WILL notice and find it very unattractive.
Respect everyone.
If you're not the kind of guy who can pull this off and you have a problem reinventing your look/personality as such, then perhaps being a "ladies man" is not for you.
Respect a woman's boundaries. Don't make her feel like she is your property and she must report to you all the time.
Do not try to act cool. Some ladies don't like it.
Do not get involved intimately with a girl who has a boyfriend/partner!
You're fat, you're ugly, or any other rude comments = good way to lose women. So insults are always a good way to lose them for good.
If you respect women, make a conscious effort to avoid cursing around them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting Smooth\\n1-1. Be playful.\\nExperts agree: for many women, one of the most attractive traits a man can have is a sense of playfulness. It's not hard to see why — talking to people who are playful and enjoy the spirited back-and-forth \\\"dance\\\" of a feisty conversation is a lot more fun than talking to people who are earnest but uninteresting. Keep keep a sense of mischievousness when you talk to women. Look for opportunities to joke, gently tease her, and deliberately misunderstand the things she says. If she's in the mood for a little verbal back-and-forth, this can be absolutely irresistible.\\nFor instance, let's say that you're talking to a lady you're attracted to at a party. If she says that she's in from out of town and that she's going home soon, you might try saying something like \\\"What, you're already sick of us?\\\" with a smile on your face. When she starts to protest, pretend to get exaggeratedly offended, all while smiling to make you sarcasm clear. Many women react really well to this sort of gentle, playful teasing (which some call \\\"flirting\\\").\\n1-2. Stay effortlessly in control of the situation.\\nThere's a good reason why ladies' men are called \\\"smooth operators\\\": these types of people often have dominant personalities and know how to control (or \\\"operate\\\") social situations to their benefit. The smoothest, suavest players of all know how to lead conversations in the directions they want without even appearing to do so.\\nThis effortlessness is key — someone who insists on dominating a social interaction but is visibly agitated about the ordeal can give truly bizarre mixed signals. Think about it: If you were having a conversation with someone who was obviously trying to woo you and was obviously nervously about it, would you be attracted? Doubtful.\\nDon't bother with \\\"pick up artist\\\" guides that encourage you to use carefully-planned routines of back-handed compliments and psychological tricks to attract women. Remember, if you're basically reciting from a script when you're talking to a woman, you're not really effortlessly in control of the situation, are you?\\n1-3. Keep your reactions low-key.\\nWe've all seen it on TV and in the movies — the quiet yet dashing bad boy who says almost nothing but seems to get girls without even trying (e.g., \\\"The name's Bond. James Bond.\\\"). While popular entertainment can sometimes create some unhealthy attitudes towards dating, there is a tiny kernel of truth here. Being cool and understated can make a man more attractive to women. Try to react to almost everything that happens around you casually, as if it's completely natural. Being at ease no matter what happens is a supreme show of confidence, and confidence is almost always sexy.\\nTo be clear, this doesn't mean you need to be tight-lipped about everything. It does mean, however, that if you see an opportunity to play coy and spark a little intrigue in your conversation, you should take it and see what happens. For instance, if a lovely lady casually asks where you live, you might respond with, \\\"Oh, why? Were you planning on going there later?\\\" It's a little cheesy, but with a response like this, you're revealing nothing about yourself and getting a playful dig at your female companion in at the same time.\\nIt's especially important to have a low-key reactions to being rejected. If you're trying to start conversations with lots of different ladies at a party, there's a chance that some (or even all) of them won't be interested in talking to you. This is OK. React to each rejection with no more hurt feelings than if you've just been told your shoes are untied.\\n1-4. Casually initiate affection, but never be desperate.\\nLet's be honest — if you're trying to \\\"be smooth\\\" with the ladies, you probably eventually want to engage in a little mutual affection with them, whether this is kissing, having sex, or just holding hands (hey, everyone starts somewhere). This is great — healthy, mutual displays of affection are wonderful things. Keep this in mind when you're in situations with ladies where you want to initiate affection. Truly smooth men aren't scared or ashamed of making their intentions known. However, they're also not needy or desperate. Not only is desperation tremendously unattractive to most people, but it also demonstrates low self-worth (and smooth guys always have high self-worth).\\nFor example, let's say that you've just wrapped up a great first date with a wonderful lady and you're walking out of the restaurant together. If you feel a strong attraction and want to hold her hand, casually grab hold of it as you move through a crowd of people as if it's perfectly natural. Don't make a big production out of the act — do it as if you haven't even thought about the implications. If she appears ill at ease or loosens her grip, you can easily follow her lead and let go without making the situation awkward, but if she reacts well, hold on tight!\\n Real smooth guys aren't creeps. Being casually affectionate is one thing, but harassing women or violating their personal space is another, so keep your hands to yourself or you may be wearing a palm print on your cheek for the next few days.\\n1-5. Don't place any expectations on your social interactions.\\nGenuinely smooth guys enjoy what they do. They like having playful, intriguing conversations with women. They don't do this just to get what they want. Any sort of romance or dating success that comes their way is a happy by-product of them doing what they love, not something that they agonize over and \\\"fight\\\" to get. When you're talking to a woman you're attracted to, don't have an endgame in sight. Just say and do what comes naturally. If your conversation naturally leads you to romance, great. If it doesn't, that's that — you had fun anyway!\\nThis is one reason why you may want to shy away from \\\"pick up artist\\\"-style seduction guides. These guides are often written with one goal in mind (sex, obviously), and while their routines may or may not work on some small subset of women, they'll never get you the genuine joy that comes from naturally, effortlessly connecting with another human being.\\n1-6. Be funny.\\nEveryone enjoys a good laugh. Humor makes everybody feel good, so if you can gain a reputation as a funny person, other people (including ladies) will naturally want to be around you. Try to look for opportunities to make light of the situation you're in or (gently) poke fun at the people around you. Most people have the natural ability to be funny when they're relaxed and around people they like, but if you really feel like you're having a hard time being funny, you might want to try researching the topic (our guide to being funny is a good place to start).\\nBe careful with self-deprecating humor. While a few exceptional individuals can manage to be sexy while making fun of themselves (like the male leads in Woody Allen movies), it's a risky move for most ordinary people, who may unintentionally make themselves look self-conscious or insecure with this type of approach.\\n2. Being Cool and Confident\\n2-1. Fake it until you make it.\\nWhen you're stressing out about a high-pressure social situation you're in, it can be difficult to remember that everyone around you can't tell you're nervous unless you show or tell them you are. This means that if you have the right attitude and you control your behavior in the right ways, they never need to know! Simply acting confident is usually enough to fool people into thinking that you are. Best of all, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy — usually, acting confident can help make you feel confident, which will make it easier to look confident, and so on.\\nFor starters, try acting like everything you do is natural. Don't hesitate over any decision and don't agonize over how to perform small, unimportant actions. For instance, if you're at a party and you want to ask someone to dance, don't think about it — just do it! Go right over to the person you've set your eyes on and ask, \\\"Hey, do you want to dance?\\\" That's all you need to do.\\n2-2. Use powerful body language.\\nAlways remember — look the part, be the part! If you look like you're confident and self-assured, you may as well be confident, because other people won't be able to tell the difference. If you're naturally shy or introverted and you're trying to be smooth, using confident and dominant (but relaxed) body language can immediately improve your prospects with the ladies. Below are just a few tips for the uninitiated:\\nStand up straight with your shoulders pulled gently back. Doing this makes you appear larger, puffs out your chest, and usually makes whatever muscles you've got look as good as possible.\\nHold your head high. Keeping your head up makes you appear proud, confident, and unafraid of your surroundings. However, don't look down your nose at others — this can appear snobby or condescending.\\nDon't be afraid to take up space. Confident people aren't afraid to have a broad, relaxed stance. If you're sitting down, don't be afraid to sit back and spread your legs a little. If you're standing around other people in a crowded area, don't recoil from others if you accidentally brush against them.\\nDon't cross your arms. This makes you appear closed-off and inaccessible.\\nDon't stare at your phone. This makes you look busy and preoccupied and will discourage people from talking to you.\\n2-3. Use appropriate eye contact.\\nConfident people aren't afraid to look other people in the eye (especially if these other people are attractive, interesting women). There's a reason that looking someone in the eye is traditionally seen as a sign that someone is genuine. Doing this gives the impression that you're open, un-intimidated, and attentive. On the other hand, an unwillingness to look someone in the eye can make you seem like you're ashamed, nervous, or hiding something, even if you're not. Try to look people in the eye most of the time when you're talking to them, and when you're not talking to them, use a few seconds of steady eye contact to spark someone's interest from across the room.\\nDon't stare or leer at women — too much eye contact can definitely be a bad thing! If you're talking to a woman, feel free to maintain fairly steady eye contact, but if you're not, looking her in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time can put her seriously ill-at-ease.\\n2-4. Relax!\\nQuick, what's the hardest thing to do once you're commanded to do it? If you guessed \\\"relax\\\", you're right. Actively trying to relax is like swimming in quicksand — the harder you work, the less progress you make. If you find yourself stressing about difficult social situations, unfortunately, there is no single \\\"right\\\" way to get to the point where you can relax in the same situations. Everyone relaxes in different ways. However, many people see success with a few common methods, listed below:\\nMentally downplaying the importance of the situation or poking fun at it\\nExercising\\nGetting lots of sleep\\nDeep breathing exercises\\nMeditating\\n2-5. Get out and live a little.\\nPicture this: you're chatting with a lady you're attracted to and you're playing things coy (as any smooth operator should), withholding information about yourself just enough to keep her intrigued. Let's say that things go well and you arrange a date for the weekend — when you eventually do start to tell her about yourself, would you prefer to present yourself as a complex, interesting person, or as someone without any dreams or ambitions who mainly just watches TV and browses the internet? The answer should be obvious. Truly smooth men back up their suave mystique with actual interesting lives. They spend time pursuing their passions and trying new things. Not only will making an effort to get out and experience the world make you appear more interesting — it'll also give you the confidence that only a wealth of life experiences can. \\nIf you're looking for new hobbies, start with something that interests you or that you naturally enjoy and try to become great at that thing. Do you like working with your hands? Start making your own furniture. Do you like music? Pick up a cheap instrument at a pawn shop and start practicing. Do you love video games? Even this can be a source of interesting experiences if, for instance, you participate in gaming tournaments or make a gaming channel on YouTube.\\n3. Keeping Your Unique Charm\\n3-1. Don't be ashamed of your interests.\\nAsk the average person what a \\\"smooth guy\\\" is like and you'll probably get an answer along the lines of, \\\"He's impeccably handsome, cool, confident, and well-dressed, with tons of masculine hobbies and interests.\\\" While the first four items in this list can certainly be a big help in the dating game, the last is hardly the end-all-be-all it's often made out to be. Don't feel a need to conceal or lie about the things you like to do. If you're geeky, be unabashedly geeky. If you like to do something really bizarre, like watch syrupy French romance films from the silent film era, don't hide this fact — it's super cool to like something unique! Being 100% honest about how you like to spend your time makes you seem genuine and confident and distinguishes you from everyone else around you.\\n3-2. Look for women where you naturally hang out.\\nClubs, singles bars, and other traditional dating \\\"hot spots\\\" are great for people who are in their element when the music's blaring loud and everyone around them is drunk. For everyone else, it may be much easier to meet people elsewhere. For starters, try meeting women at places and events that you naturally enjoy attending. For instance, if you like exercise and the outdoors, you might want to try running in a popular park. By using this approach, you're more likely to meet women that you have things in common with than you would be simply visiting a local club.\\n3-3. Have your own style.\\nWe've all heard it before: \\\"Be yourself and you'll go far.\\\" This age-old advice is a little cheesy, but when it comes to smooth operators, it's completely true. Smooth guys don't follow others when it comes to defining themselves — they do what they want to do and present themselves how they want to be presented and let others judge them as they see fit. Having your own unique personal style makes you hugely more interesting and memorable than trying to be someone else's idea of \\\"cool\\\", so being yourself isn't only easier than being trendy, it's also smarter if you're trying to win people over.\\nOne way to immediately and visibly differentiate yourself from other people is to dress in a way that's not 100% ordinary (while obviously not completely absurd either). For instance, you might want to try buying your clothes at a second-hand store or a vintage shop for a worn-in, retro look or even making your own clothes and accessories by knitting or sewing them yourself.\\n3-4. Be open and sincere.\\nWhen it comes to pursuing women, honesty is the best policy. For the most part, everyone (ladies included) can tell a phony from a genuine person, so trying to act like someone you're not or conceal your true feelings will just lead to mutual feelings of awkwardness. Besides this, most women think sincerity is cute, so you have almost no reason not to be completely honest and open about your thoughts, opinions, and intentions. The absolute worst-case scenario that can occur from being honest is that you lose the opportunity to date someone, but if you would have had to lie about the way you feel to date this person, would you ever have been completely happy with them? Probably not.\\nFor instance, if you've got certain \\\"dealbreakers\\\" — things that you simply can't tolerate in your significant other, you'll definitely want to be open and honest about these with your partner (or potential partner). Think about it: would you rather spend a few weeks pretending to be into someone who smokes, belches, and listens to Limp Bizkit all day, or would you rather politely nip this relationship in the bud?\\nNote that, however, there is such a thing as over-sharing. While you'll want to be sincere about your thoughts and feelings, you probably won't want to make things awkward by bringing up intensely personal information before you truly get to know someone.\\n3-5. Love thyself before loving others.\\nYou can't love other people if you don't love yourself, so if you have a lousy opinion of yourself, steer clear of romance until you do. Ideally, romantic relationships should be the cherry on top of a happy, satisfied life — experiences that are truly wonderful to have, but not things that you need to be happy. Smooth men are always at ease partly because they know that, no matter what happens in their romantic life, they'll be more or less happy regardless. To have a happy foundation for the possibility of future relationships, below are just a few of the things you will probably want your life to contain: \\nA reasonable amount of personal independence (like, for instance, being able to support yourself and spend your free time as you please).\\nThe opportunity (and motivation) to pursue hobbies and interests.\\nStable, satisfying non-romantic friendships.\\nA satisfying level of professional and/or personal achievement (like performing well at your job, becoming an important member of your community, etc.)\\nTips\\nListening skills, trust, and respect are the three things are generally the most important attributes you will need if you start a relationship with a woman.[29]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nTry to be sensitive when she's telling you about her past.\\nDo those little things for her. Hold the door, offer to pick up her tab, courteous, and etc. Many women love that.\\nWarnings\\nNever wear the same clothes two days in a row. Girls WILL notice and find it very unattractive.\\nRespect everyone.\\nIf you're not the kind of guy who can pull this off and you have a problem reinventing your look/personality as such, then perhaps being a \\\"ladies man\\\" is not for you.\\nRespect a woman's boundaries. Don't make her feel like she is your property and she must report to you all the time.\\nDo not try to act cool. Some ladies don't like it.\\nDo not get involved intimately with a girl who has a boyfriend/partner!\\nYou're fat, you're ugly, or any other rude comments = good way to lose women. So insults are always a good way to lose them for good.\\nIf you respect women, make a conscious effort to avoid cursing around them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Who doesn't want to be oh-so-silky smooth with the fairer gender? Men who can seemingly attract women without lifting a finger are some of the most envied folks in the world. While some men are born smooth, luckily, this is also something it's possible to practice and get better yet. If you're currently about as smooth as a square of high-grit sandpaper, no sweat — with a few simple tricks (and a lot of practice) you'll eventually be slicker than an oil spill. See Step 1 below to get started!This article is based on an interview with our professional dating and relationship coach, Mark Rosenfeld, founder of Make Him Yours. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting Smooth\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be playful.\", \"描述\": \"Experts agree: for many women, one of the most attractive traits a man can have is a sense of playfulness. It's not hard to see why — talking to people who are playful and enjoy the spirited back-and-forth \\\"dance\\\" of a feisty conversation is a lot more fun than talking to people who are earnest but uninteresting. Keep keep a sense of mischievousness when you talk to women. Look for opportunities to joke, gently tease her, and deliberately misunderstand the things she says. If she's in the mood for a little verbal back-and-forth, this can be absolutely irresistible.\\nFor instance, let's say that you're talking to a lady you're attracted to at a party. If she says that she's in from out of town and that she's going home soon, you might try saying something like \\\"What, you're already sick of us?\\\" with a smile on your face. When she starts to protest, pretend to get exaggeratedly offended, all while smiling to make you sarcasm clear. Many women react really well to this sort of gentle, playful teasing (which some call \\\"flirting\\\").\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay effortlessly in control of the situation.\", \"描述\": \"There's a good reason why ladies' men are called \\\"smooth operators\\\": these types of people often have dominant personalities and know how to control (or \\\"operate\\\") social situations to their benefit. The smoothest, suavest players of all know how to lead conversations in the directions they want without even appearing to do so.\\nThis effortlessness is key — someone who insists on dominating a social interaction but is visibly agitated about the ordeal can give truly bizarre mixed signals. Think about it: If you were having a conversation with someone who was obviously trying to woo you and was obviously nervously about it, would you be attracted? Doubtful.\\nDon't bother with \\\"pick up artist\\\" guides that encourage you to use carefully-planned routines of back-handed compliments and psychological tricks to attract women. Remember, if you're basically reciting from a script when you're talking to a woman, you're not really effortlessly in control of the situation, are you?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your reactions low-key.\", \"描述\": \"We've all seen it on TV and in the movies — the quiet yet dashing bad boy who says almost nothing but seems to get girls without even trying (e.g., \\\"The name's Bond. James Bond.\\\"). While popular entertainment can sometimes create some unhealthy attitudes towards dating, there is a tiny kernel of truth here. Being cool and understated can make a man more attractive to women. Try to react to almost everything that happens around you casually, as if it's completely natural. Being at ease no matter what happens is a supreme show of confidence, and confidence is almost always sexy.\\nTo be clear, this doesn't mean you need to be tight-lipped about everything. It does mean, however, that if you see an opportunity to play coy and spark a little intrigue in your conversation, you should take it and see what happens. For instance, if a lovely lady casually asks where you live, you might respond with, \\\"Oh, why? Were you planning on going there later?\\\" It's a little cheesy, but with a response like this, you're revealing nothing about yourself and getting a playful dig at your female companion in at the same time.\\nIt's especially important to have a low-key reactions to being rejected. If you're trying to start conversations with lots of different ladies at a party, there's a chance that some (or even all) of them won't be interested in talking to you. This is OK. React to each rejection with no more hurt feelings than if you've just been told your shoes are untied.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Casually initiate affection, but never be desperate.\", \"描述\": \"Let's be honest — if you're trying to \\\"be smooth\\\" with the ladies, you probably eventually want to engage in a little mutual affection with them, whether this is kissing, having sex, or just holding hands (hey, everyone starts somewhere). This is great — healthy, mutual displays of affection are wonderful things. Keep this in mind when you're in situations with ladies where you want to initiate affection. Truly smooth men aren't scared or ashamed of making their intentions known. However, they're also not needy or desperate. Not only is desperation tremendously unattractive to most people, but it also demonstrates low self-worth (and smooth guys always have high self-worth).\\nFor example, let's say that you've just wrapped up a great first date with a wonderful lady and you're walking out of the restaurant together. If you feel a strong attraction and want to hold her hand, casually grab hold of it as you move through a crowd of people as if it's perfectly natural. Don't make a big production out of the act — do it as if you haven't even thought about the implications. If she appears ill at ease or loosens her grip, you can easily follow her lead and let go without making the situation awkward, but if she reacts well, hold on tight!\\n Real smooth guys aren't creeps. Being casually affectionate is one thing, but harassing women or violating their personal space is another, so keep your hands to yourself or you may be wearing a palm print on your cheek for the next few days.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't place any expectations on your social interactions.\", \"描述\": \"Genuinely smooth guys enjoy what they do. They like having playful, intriguing conversations with women. They don't do this just to get what they want. Any sort of romance or dating success that comes their way is a happy by-product of them doing what they love, not something that they agonize over and \\\"fight\\\" to get. When you're talking to a woman you're attracted to, don't have an endgame in sight. Just say and do what comes naturally. If your conversation naturally leads you to romance, great. If it doesn't, that's that — you had fun anyway!\\nThis is one reason why you may want to shy away from \\\"pick up artist\\\"-style seduction guides. These guides are often written with one goal in mind (sex, obviously), and while their routines may or may not work on some small subset of women, they'll never get you the genuine joy that comes from naturally, effortlessly connecting with another human being.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be funny.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone enjoys a good laugh. Humor makes everybody feel good, so if you can gain a reputation as a funny person, other people (including ladies) will naturally want to be around you. Try to look for opportunities to make light of the situation you're in or (gently) poke fun at the people around you. Most people have the natural ability to be funny when they're relaxed and around people they like, but if you really feel like you're having a hard time being funny, you might want to try researching the topic (our guide to being funny is a good place to start).\\nBe careful with self-deprecating humor. While a few exceptional individuals can manage to be sexy while making fun of themselves (like the male leads in Woody Allen movies), it's a risky move for most ordinary people, who may unintentionally make themselves look self-conscious or insecure with this type of approach.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Cool and Confident\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fake it until you make it.\", \"描述\": \"When you're stressing out about a high-pressure social situation you're in, it can be difficult to remember that everyone around you can't tell you're nervous unless you show or tell them you are. This means that if you have the right attitude and you control your behavior in the right ways, they never need to know! Simply acting confident is usually enough to fool people into thinking that you are. Best of all, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy — usually, acting confident can help make you feel confident, which will make it easier to look confident, and so on.\\nFor starters, try acting like everything you do is natural. Don't hesitate over any decision and don't agonize over how to perform small, unimportant actions. For instance, if you're at a party and you want to ask someone to dance, don't think about it — just do it! Go right over to the person you've set your eyes on and ask, \\\"Hey, do you want to dance?\\\" That's all you need to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use powerful body language.\", \"描述\": \"Always remember — look the part, be the part! If you look like you're confident and self-assured, you may as well be confident, because other people won't be able to tell the difference. If you're naturally shy or introverted and you're trying to be smooth, using confident and dominant (but relaxed) body language can immediately improve your prospects with the ladies. Below are just a few tips for the uninitiated:\\nStand up straight with your shoulders pulled gently back. Doing this makes you appear larger, puffs out your chest, and usually makes whatever muscles you've got look as good as possible.\\nHold your head high. Keeping your head up makes you appear proud, confident, and unafraid of your surroundings. However, don't look down your nose at others — this can appear snobby or condescending.\\nDon't be afraid to take up space. Confident people aren't afraid to have a broad, relaxed stance. If you're sitting down, don't be afraid to sit back and spread your legs a little. If you're standing around other people in a crowded area, don't recoil from others if you accidentally brush against them.\\nDon't cross your arms. This makes you appear closed-off and inaccessible.\\nDon't stare at your phone. This makes you look busy and preoccupied and will discourage people from talking to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use appropriate eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Confident people aren't afraid to look other people in the eye (especially if these other people are attractive, interesting women). There's a reason that looking someone in the eye is traditionally seen as a sign that someone is genuine. Doing this gives the impression that you're open, un-intimidated, and attentive. On the other hand, an unwillingness to look someone in the eye can make you seem like you're ashamed, nervous, or hiding something, even if you're not. Try to look people in the eye most of the time when you're talking to them, and when you're not talking to them, use a few seconds of steady eye contact to spark someone's interest from across the room.\\nDon't stare or leer at women — too much eye contact can definitely be a bad thing! If you're talking to a woman, feel free to maintain fairly steady eye contact, but if you're not, looking her in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time can put her seriously ill-at-ease.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Relax!\", \"描述\": \"Quick, what's the hardest thing to do once you're commanded to do it? If you guessed \\\"relax\\\", you're right. Actively trying to relax is like swimming in quicksand — the harder you work, the less progress you make. If you find yourself stressing about difficult social situations, unfortunately, there is no single \\\"right\\\" way to get to the point where you can relax in the same situations. Everyone relaxes in different ways. However, many people see success with a few common methods, listed below:\\nMentally downplaying the importance of the situation or poking fun at it\\nExercising\\nGetting lots of sleep\\nDeep breathing exercises\\nMeditating\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get out and live a little.\", \"描述\": \"Picture this: you're chatting with a lady you're attracted to and you're playing things coy (as any smooth operator should), withholding information about yourself just enough to keep her intrigued. Let's say that things go well and you arrange a date for the weekend — when you eventually do start to tell her about yourself, would you prefer to present yourself as a complex, interesting person, or as someone without any dreams or ambitions who mainly just watches TV and browses the internet? The answer should be obvious. Truly smooth men back up their suave mystique with actual interesting lives. They spend time pursuing their passions and trying new things. Not only will making an effort to get out and experience the world make you appear more interesting — it'll also give you the confidence that only a wealth of life experiences can. \\nIf you're looking for new hobbies, start with something that interests you or that you naturally enjoy and try to become great at that thing. Do you like working with your hands? Start making your own furniture. Do you like music? Pick up a cheap instrument at a pawn shop and start practicing. Do you love video games? Even this can be a source of interesting experiences if, for instance, you participate in gaming tournaments or make a gaming channel on YouTube.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Unique Charm\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't be ashamed of your interests.\", \"描述\": \"Ask the average person what a \\\"smooth guy\\\" is like and you'll probably get an answer along the lines of, \\\"He's impeccably handsome, cool, confident, and well-dressed, with tons of masculine hobbies and interests.\\\" While the first four items in this list can certainly be a big help in the dating game, the last is hardly the end-all-be-all it's often made out to be. Don't feel a need to conceal or lie about the things you like to do. If you're geeky, be unabashedly geeky. If you like to do something really bizarre, like watch syrupy French romance films from the silent film era, don't hide this fact — it's super cool to like something unique! Being 100% honest about how you like to spend your time makes you seem genuine and confident and distinguishes you from everyone else around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look for women where you naturally hang out.\", \"描述\": \"Clubs, singles bars, and other traditional dating \\\"hot spots\\\" are great for people who are in their element when the music's blaring loud and everyone around them is drunk. For everyone else, it may be much easier to meet people elsewhere. For starters, try meeting women at places and events that you naturally enjoy attending. For instance, if you like exercise and the outdoors, you might want to try running in a popular park. By using this approach, you're more likely to meet women that you have things in common with than you would be simply visiting a local club.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have your own style.\", \"描述\": \"We've all heard it before: \\\"Be yourself and you'll go far.\\\" This age-old advice is a little cheesy, but when it comes to smooth operators, it's completely true. Smooth guys don't follow others when it comes to defining themselves — they do what they want to do and present themselves how they want to be presented and let others judge them as they see fit. Having your own unique personal style makes you hugely more interesting and memorable than trying to be someone else's idea of \\\"cool\\\", so being yourself isn't only easier than being trendy, it's also smarter if you're trying to win people over.\\nOne way to immediately and visibly differentiate yourself from other people is to dress in a way that's not 100% ordinary (while obviously not completely absurd either). For instance, you might want to try buying your clothes at a second-hand store or a vintage shop for a worn-in, retro look or even making your own clothes and accessories by knitting or sewing them yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be open and sincere.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to pursuing women, honesty is the best policy. For the most part, everyone (ladies included) can tell a phony from a genuine person, so trying to act like someone you're not or conceal your true feelings will just lead to mutual feelings of awkwardness. Besides this, most women think sincerity is cute, so you have almost no reason not to be completely honest and open about your thoughts, opinions, and intentions. The absolute worst-case scenario that can occur from being honest is that you lose the opportunity to date someone, but if you would have had to lie about the way you feel to date this person, would you ever have been completely happy with them? Probably not.\\nFor instance, if you've got certain \\\"dealbreakers\\\" — things that you simply can't tolerate in your significant other, you'll definitely want to be open and honest about these with your partner (or potential partner). Think about it: would you rather spend a few weeks pretending to be into someone who smokes, belches, and listens to Limp Bizkit all day, or would you rather politely nip this relationship in the bud?\\nNote that, however, there is such a thing as over-sharing. While you'll want to be sincere about your thoughts and feelings, you probably won't want to make things awkward by bringing up intensely personal information before you truly get to know someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Love thyself before loving others.\", \"描述\": \"You can't love other people if you don't love yourself, so if you have a lousy opinion of yourself, steer clear of romance until you do. Ideally, romantic relationships should be the cherry on top of a happy, satisfied life — experiences that are truly wonderful to have, but not things that you need to be happy. Smooth men are always at ease partly because they know that, no matter what happens in their romantic life, they'll be more or less happy regardless. To have a happy foundation for the possibility of future relationships, below are just a few of the things you will probably want your life to contain: \\nA reasonable amount of personal independence (like, for instance, being able to support yourself and spend your free time as you please).\\nThe opportunity (and motivation) to pursue hobbies and interests.\\nStable, satisfying non-romantic friendships.\\nA satisfying level of professional and/or personal achievement (like performing well at your job, becoming an important member of your community, etc.)\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Listening skills, trust, and respect are the three things are generally the most important attributes you will need if you start a relationship with a woman.[29]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Try to be sensitive when she's telling you about her past.\\n\", \"Do those little things for her. Hold the door, offer to pick up her tab, courteous, and etc. Many women love that.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never wear the same clothes two days in a row. Girls WILL notice and find it very unattractive.\\n\", \"Respect everyone.\\n\", \"If you're not the kind of guy who can pull this off and you have a problem reinventing your look/personality as such, then perhaps being a \\\"ladies man\\\" is not for you.\\n\", \"Respect a woman's boundaries. Don't make her feel like she is your property and she must report to you all the time.\\n\", \"Do not try to act cool. Some ladies don't like it.\\n\", \"Do not get involved intimately with a girl who has a boyfriend/partner!\\n\", \"You're fat, you're ugly, or any other rude comments = good way to lose women. So insults are always a good way to lose them for good.\\n\", \"If you respect women, make a conscious effort to avoid cursing around them.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,167 | How to Be Sneaky | 1. Acting Like a True Sneak
1-1. Lie well.
Sneaking isn't just about moving quietly and not being seen. Equally important are the "social" sneaking skills - skills that will help you get what you want out of people and help you get out of trouble if you're caught sneaking around. Chief among these skills is your ability to tell quick, convincing lies. You need to be able to provide a logical, benign explanation for your behavior at all times.
One way to become a good liar is to take an acting class or to sign up for a theater production. Actors are, in a sense, professional liars - good actors use their faces, voices, and bodies to weave a convincing story.
1-2. Hide your true emotions.
A simple poker face can get you surprisingly far! When you're sneaky, it's essential that you appear serious about whatever lie you're crafting, even if it's a wild one! "Sell" your lies - your voice, face, and body should all support the idea that what you're saying is the truth. This doesn't mean merely keeping a stern expression at all times - to support your lie, it might be necessary to practice appearing jubilant, sad, preoccupied, and as many other emotions if you can! Remember that our body expresses even more than our voice does.
There's a reason it's called a "poker face" - to help develop stone-cold control over your facial expression, get together with friends to play a little Texas Hold'Em or another poker variation, most of which encourage players to hide their emotions.
1-3. Craft an excuse beforehand.
When sneaking, you're bound to get eventually caught - how you handle this situation can make the difference between whether you can keep sneaking or whether you're laughed out of the house. Make up an excuse for why you're sneaking beforehand - one that's logical for the place you're sneaking in. For example, if you're caught sneaking around upstairs while there's a party going on downstairs, say you're looking for the bathroom.
If you're sneaking around people who don't know you, you can pre-plan your excuse to the extent of having a fake name and/or backstory. Support your story with your choice of wardrobe and demeanor - if you're pretending to be a religious missionary, for instance, you might want to wear clean slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a tie (if you're male) and to carry religious literature with you.
1-4. Be charming.
Naturally likable people have an easier time getting what they want - if you're extra-charming, you'll have the option of talking your way past people you'd otherwise have to slip by unseen. Keep a friendly, interested demeanor. Look at people in the eyes. Joke with them - about the drudgery of your jobs, if you're looking to build a quick rapport. Pretend to support their opinions. Make them like you - remember, you won't have to be their friend after you've snuck your way past them, so use every opportunity at your disposal.
Don't be afraid to flirt! If you think you've got this person's "attention," seize the opportunity! A few choice words from an attractive female can, for instance, convince a bouncer to open the doors to an already-crowded nightclub.
1-5. Use your appearance as social leverage.
People are shallow - sadly, often, people will make a judgment about you based on how you look. When you're sneaky, use this to your advantage! You might want to dress in starched slacks and a polo to appear as clean-cut and non-threatening as possible so people will overlook you. Conversely, you might want to shave your head, wear a nose ring and a dirty leather jacket if you want to look intimidating. Use common sense - ask yourself, "what sort of person will have the best shot of getting past obstacles in this situation?"
If you're really brave, you can even create a disguise and pretend to be someone you're not - keep in mind that impersonating a police officer, etc. is a serious crime!
1-6. Use the element of surprise.
When you want to reveal the fruits of your sneakiness to someone, make sure they don't see it coming for maximum impact. Make your behavior and environment appear as normal as possible until the last second. For instance, if you're planning a surprise birthday party at someone's house, keep the house exactly as it was before, except for the room where the guests are hiding. As you lure the birthday boy to the designated room, use the poker face you've practiced to appear as nonchalant as possible.
In the example scenario, be sure to keep up your façade until after he's been surprised! If you give into giggles even a few seconds too soon, you could give the surprise away.
2. Being Stealthy
2-1. Observe your surroundings and the people around you.
A truly stealthy individual is aware of his or her surroundings. S/he listens and looks for obstacles, whether they're animate ( for instance, a person or dog) or inanimate (for instance, a chain-link fence.) When you're sneaky, keep your eyes peeled and your ears listening!
If you have a chance, study the location you're going to sneak around in and the people you'll encounter. Take notes. Even consider sketching simple maps - these will help you plan a strategy for sneaking around this place and getting around these people.
Look for patterns in peoples' behavior. For example, if you see that your friend gets home from work at 6 PM every day, you'll know to have your prank set up before then.
2-2. Eavesdrop
You can learn information you're not meant to learn if you look for opportunities to "overhear" private conversations. If you're at a friend's place with a couple of buddies, and you think your friends are planning a prank on you, quietly sneak up to the door when they're talking in another room, then listen at the keyhole or silently hold a cup to the door to listen in.
If someone's talking on a phone on a land line, try picking up another phone on the same line to overhear easily their conversation from another part of the house. Just be sure to do it very, very quietly - breathe into the receiver.
2-3. Stay out of observers' lines of sight.
The most essential aspect of sneaking is not to be seen doing something bad! Whether you're stealing fries from a friend's lunch or sneaking out past curfew, you'll want not to be seen. Always keep something between you and other people who might see you. If you need to, crouch or contort yourself to conceal yourself behind counters, trees, skinny pieces of wall, or any other environmental features you can use to block other peoples' lines of sight.
Avoid large, open areas. You can't see in every direction at once, so in these areas it's hard to keep track of other people and, thus, easier to get spotted. Stay near walls when possible - you know you can't be seen through the wall, so you can focus your attention on the angles from which you're more likely to be spotted.
If you can, learn a building's floor plan before hand. Even a basic understanding of where most of the rooms, windows, and doors are located can help you make good choices about which areas to avoid and where to hide if the need arises.
2-4. Minimize the sound you make while moving.
People can hear you even if they can't see you, so one of your first concerns while sneaking around the house should be to make as little noise as possible. Use as many of the following techniques as possible to dampen your audio profile and decrease the chances people will hear you coming from miles away!
Walk with delicate steps. Keep your knees slightly bent as you shift your weight slowly from one foot to the next. Use a gentle heel-toe step.
Wear quiet clothing. Don't wear clothes that make noise when they're ruffled or when you move in them. Soft fabrics are best - sweatpants and many types of athletic wear work well.
Wear soft footwear. If you must use shoes, wear a pair with soft soles that won't squeak on wet surfaces. Slippers are better. Bare socks are better still!
Don't touch noisy surfaces. Most carpets are quieter than hardwood floors, which can squeak and amplify the sound of your footsteps. Also, avoid bumping into any glass or metal or stepping on twigs if you're outdoors.
If possible, make significant movements only when there's another noise to cover it up (for instance, when an airplane flies overhead).
2-5. Be inconspicuous in crowds.
If you're going to be sneaky somewhere where there are already dozens of people, you're bound to be seen and heard. Instead of avoiding detection, you should instead focus on creating no memorable impression on the people who see you. Dress and act inconspicuously for the situation. Appear friendly and open, but don't talk to anyone you don't have to - the fewer people who remember you, the better.
When trying to avoid conversation, try to look like you have something to do. Walk with purpose - like you're on your way to something important and can't be bothered to talk.
2-6. Have good sleight of hand.
When being sneaky, you'll often need to grab or snatch something from someone without being noticed. Good sleight of hand practitioners have steady, nimble, silent hands. Practice simple magic tricks to improve basic techniques such as palming which will help you steal away with your new prize.
2-7. Use misdirection.
Learn to create distractions to divert the attention of people it would otherwise be difficult or impossible to sneak by. If you're trying to sneak out of your house after your curfew and your dad's watching TV in the living room with a great view of your only exit, you should devise a reason to make him leave his post! For instance, knock over a shovel in his workshop, making as much noise as possible. Quickly run to a hiding spot (hopefully one you scouted out beforehand), and then wait for him to investigate the noise. When he does, quickly slip out the door!
Pickpockets use misdirection to steal wallets - you can use the same principle to sneakily mess with your friends! Keep your friend's attention focused on one thing - a funny video or a card trick, for example - while you stretch one hand out of their line of sight to snatch what you want.
2-8. Improve your strength and flexibility.
Expert sneakers can benefit from a good workout - a good physical condition can make a huge difference when trying to lift yourself over a fence and out of sight. Similarly, a flexible body can squeeze into tiny hiding places much more easily than an ungainly, inflexible one. There's even a benefit in improving your cardio stamina - if you're caught and you need to dash, that is!
If you haven't already, start a well-balanced exercise routine to start on the path to personal fitness.
3. Honing Your Sneaky Skills
3-1. Practice basic sneaking skills.
When you're just beginning, try to be sneaky in a small, barely-noticeable way. If you're in a small space, for instance, if you're riding in a car, you can concentrate on improving your sneakiness without having to take your surroundings into account.
Try this sneaking exercise: While sitting in the passenger seat, see if there are any coins in the cup holder. Slowly but surely, (over the course of the car ride) take the coins out one at a time. Be sure the driver is not watching you, and try not to make any noise. Later, try to place all the coins back in the cup holder. This exercise will improve your hand steadiness, your ability to move silently, and your ability to read the body language of people you're sneaking on!
3-2. Expand your sneaking practice.
When you're confident being sneaky in small, controlled environments, it's time to practice sneaking in larger, more active environments. Every additional person in your surroundings is a variable you'll have to account for - being able to account for other peoples' position and line of vision even when you aren't looking at them using clues like the sound of footsteps, etc. is a vital sneaking skill.
Try this exercise: at a social event, watch someone who has a drink out of the corner of your eye. Wait until their back is turned, and then move the drink to another room. After you have moved the drink, go back and watch them as they try to remember where they put it. Make sure you keep a straight face - don't give away that you had something to do with it. This exercise improves your ability to keep inconspicuous in crowded areas as well as your ability to control your emotions in the face of someone you've duped.
For a good test of your ability to move silently, stay awake late at night and try to move around the house silently when everyone's asleep - pick a point in your house to sneak to, then sneak back to your room, going through as many rooms as possible. In the stillness of the night, you'll be able to hear even smallest movements.
3-3. Keep your social abilities sharp.
You want to be able to craft lies, excuses, and personal information on the fly to talk your way past troublesome folks who might interfere with your sneaking mission. Practice your ability to lie and charm people - often, it's just as important as your ability to move without being seen or heard.
Some people have a visceral negative reaction when they tell a lie that is detectable by others. To start getting over this, begin by telling inconsequential, harmless lies. When someone asks for the time, tell them it's one minute later than it is. You'll eventually work through your reluctance and, if you gradually scale up your lies, soon you'll be able to tell convincingly "real," consequential lies.
If you're not socially squeamish, try talking your way into a members-only gym or country club as a good test of your social sneaking abilities. Craft a good excuse beforehand - maybe you left your wallet in the locker room, or maybe your friends are inside waiting for you but they can't let you in because they're in the pool away from their phones!
Tips
Always have an excuse handy when you're sneaking.
If you get caught in the middle of the night, say you are going to the bathroom, or getting a glass of water.(unless you're outside)Then say you heard something and then say how you didn't want to wake someone up and you don't want people to think your crazy.
When in the act of sneaking, also be doing many activities at once, to distract from the one you don't want to be seen.
Warnings
Never, ever, ever sneak around government, military, police, or high-importance corporate locations. This is work for professionally-trained spies. Don't wind up in jail for playing James Bond!
Never sneak around workplaces at night unless you know you have low chances of being seen or you might get in trouble.
If you get caught in any of the above steps, you may look like a fool.
If you get caught, you may get in trouble.
Make sure the item you take has something to take its place or someone might figure out it's gone.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting Like a True Sneak\\n1-1. Lie well.\\nSneaking isn't just about moving quietly and not being seen. Equally important are the \\\"social\\\" sneaking skills - skills that will help you get what you want out of people and help you get out of trouble if you're caught sneaking around. Chief among these skills is your ability to tell quick, convincing lies. You need to be able to provide a logical, benign explanation for your behavior at all times.\\nOne way to become a good liar is to take an acting class or to sign up for a theater production. Actors are, in a sense, professional liars - good actors use their faces, voices, and bodies to weave a convincing story.\\n1-2. Hide your true emotions.\\nA simple poker face can get you surprisingly far! When you're sneaky, it's essential that you appear serious about whatever lie you're crafting, even if it's a wild one! \\\"Sell\\\" your lies - your voice, face, and body should all support the idea that what you're saying is the truth. This doesn't mean merely keeping a stern expression at all times - to support your lie, it might be necessary to practice appearing jubilant, sad, preoccupied, and as many other emotions if you can! Remember that our body expresses even more than our voice does.\\nThere's a reason it's called a \\\"poker face\\\" - to help develop stone-cold control over your facial expression, get together with friends to play a little Texas Hold'Em or another poker variation, most of which encourage players to hide their emotions.\\n1-3. Craft an excuse beforehand.\\nWhen sneaking, you're bound to get eventually caught - how you handle this situation can make the difference between whether you can keep sneaking or whether you're laughed out of the house. Make up an excuse for why you're sneaking beforehand - one that's logical for the place you're sneaking in. For example, if you're caught sneaking around upstairs while there's a party going on downstairs, say you're looking for the bathroom.\\nIf you're sneaking around people who don't know you, you can pre-plan your excuse to the extent of having a fake name and/or backstory. Support your story with your choice of wardrobe and demeanor - if you're pretending to be a religious missionary, for instance, you might want to wear clean slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a tie (if you're male) and to carry religious literature with you.\\n1-4. Be charming.\\nNaturally likable people have an easier time getting what they want - if you're extra-charming, you'll have the option of talking your way past people you'd otherwise have to slip by unseen. Keep a friendly, interested demeanor. Look at people in the eyes. Joke with them - about the drudgery of your jobs, if you're looking to build a quick rapport. Pretend to support their opinions. Make them like you - remember, you won't have to be their friend after you've snuck your way past them, so use every opportunity at your disposal.\\nDon't be afraid to flirt! If you think you've got this person's \\\"attention,\\\" seize the opportunity! A few choice words from an attractive female can, for instance, convince a bouncer to open the doors to an already-crowded nightclub.\\n1-5. Use your appearance as social leverage.\\nPeople are shallow - sadly, often, people will make a judgment about you based on how you look. When you're sneaky, use this to your advantage! You might want to dress in starched slacks and a polo to appear as clean-cut and non-threatening as possible so people will overlook you. Conversely, you might want to shave your head, wear a nose ring and a dirty leather jacket if you want to look intimidating. Use common sense - ask yourself, \\\"what sort of person will have the best shot of getting past obstacles in this situation?\\\"\\nIf you're really brave, you can even create a disguise and pretend to be someone you're not - keep in mind that impersonating a police officer, etc. is a serious crime!\\n1-6. Use the element of surprise.\\nWhen you want to reveal the fruits of your sneakiness to someone, make sure they don't see it coming for maximum impact. Make your behavior and environment appear as normal as possible until the last second. For instance, if you're planning a surprise birthday party at someone's house, keep the house exactly as it was before, except for the room where the guests are hiding. As you lure the birthday boy to the designated room, use the poker face you've practiced to appear as nonchalant as possible.\\nIn the example scenario, be sure to keep up your façade until after he's been surprised! If you give into giggles even a few seconds too soon, you could give the surprise away.\\n2. Being Stealthy\\n2-1. Observe your surroundings and the people around you.\\nA truly stealthy individual is aware of his or her surroundings. S/he listens and looks for obstacles, whether they're animate ( for instance, a person or dog) or inanimate (for instance, a chain-link fence.) When you're sneaky, keep your eyes peeled and your ears listening!\\nIf you have a chance, study the location you're going to sneak around in and the people you'll encounter. Take notes. Even consider sketching simple maps - these will help you plan a strategy for sneaking around this place and getting around these people.\\nLook for patterns in peoples' behavior. For example, if you see that your friend gets home from work at 6 PM every day, you'll know to have your prank set up before then.\\n2-2. Eavesdrop\\nYou can learn information you're not meant to learn if you look for opportunities to \\\"overhear\\\" private conversations. If you're at a friend's place with a couple of buddies, and you think your friends are planning a prank on you, quietly sneak up to the door when they're talking in another room, then listen at the keyhole or silently hold a cup to the door to listen in.\\nIf someone's talking on a phone on a land line, try picking up another phone on the same line to overhear easily their conversation from another part of the house. Just be sure to do it very, very quietly - breathe into the receiver.\\n2-3. Stay out of observers' lines of sight.\\nThe most essential aspect of sneaking is not to be seen doing something bad! Whether you're stealing fries from a friend's lunch or sneaking out past curfew, you'll want not to be seen. Always keep something between you and other people who might see you. If you need to, crouch or contort yourself to conceal yourself behind counters, trees, skinny pieces of wall, or any other environmental features you can use to block other peoples' lines of sight.\\nAvoid large, open areas. You can't see in every direction at once, so in these areas it's hard to keep track of other people and, thus, easier to get spotted. Stay near walls when possible - you know you can't be seen through the wall, so you can focus your attention on the angles from which you're more likely to be spotted.\\nIf you can, learn a building's floor plan before hand. Even a basic understanding of where most of the rooms, windows, and doors are located can help you make good choices about which areas to avoid and where to hide if the need arises.\\n2-4. Minimize the sound you make while moving.\\nPeople can hear you even if they can't see you, so one of your first concerns while sneaking around the house should be to make as little noise as possible. Use as many of the following techniques as possible to dampen your audio profile and decrease the chances people will hear you coming from miles away!\\nWalk with delicate steps. Keep your knees slightly bent as you shift your weight slowly from one foot to the next. Use a gentle heel-toe step.\\nWear quiet clothing. Don't wear clothes that make noise when they're ruffled or when you move in them. Soft fabrics are best - sweatpants and many types of athletic wear work well.\\nWear soft footwear. If you must use shoes, wear a pair with soft soles that won't squeak on wet surfaces. Slippers are better. Bare socks are better still!\\nDon't touch noisy surfaces. Most carpets are quieter than hardwood floors, which can squeak and amplify the sound of your footsteps. Also, avoid bumping into any glass or metal or stepping on twigs if you're outdoors.\\nIf possible, make significant movements only when there's another noise to cover it up (for instance, when an airplane flies overhead).\\n2-5. Be inconspicuous in crowds.\\nIf you're going to be sneaky somewhere where there are already dozens of people, you're bound to be seen and heard. Instead of avoiding detection, you should instead focus on creating no memorable impression on the people who see you. Dress and act inconspicuously for the situation. Appear friendly and open, but don't talk to anyone you don't have to - the fewer people who remember you, the better.\\nWhen trying to avoid conversation, try to look like you have something to do. Walk with purpose - like you're on your way to something important and can't be bothered to talk.\\n2-6. Have good sleight of hand.\\nWhen being sneaky, you'll often need to grab or snatch something from someone without being noticed. Good sleight of hand practitioners have steady, nimble, silent hands. Practice simple magic tricks to improve basic techniques such as palming which will help you steal away with your new prize.\\n2-7. Use misdirection.\\nLearn to create distractions to divert the attention of people it would otherwise be difficult or impossible to sneak by. If you're trying to sneak out of your house after your curfew and your dad's watching TV in the living room with a great view of your only exit, you should devise a reason to make him leave his post! For instance, knock over a shovel in his workshop, making as much noise as possible. Quickly run to a hiding spot (hopefully one you scouted out beforehand), and then wait for him to investigate the noise. When he does, quickly slip out the door!\\nPickpockets use misdirection to steal wallets - you can use the same principle to sneakily mess with your friends! Keep your friend's attention focused on one thing - a funny video or a card trick, for example - while you stretch one hand out of their line of sight to snatch what you want.\\n2-8. Improve your strength and flexibility.\\nExpert sneakers can benefit from a good workout - a good physical condition can make a huge difference when trying to lift yourself over a fence and out of sight. Similarly, a flexible body can squeeze into tiny hiding places much more easily than an ungainly, inflexible one. There's even a benefit in improving your cardio stamina - if you're caught and you need to dash, that is!\\nIf you haven't already, start a well-balanced exercise routine to start on the path to personal fitness.\\n3. Honing Your Sneaky Skills\\n3-1. Practice basic sneaking skills.\\nWhen you're just beginning, try to be sneaky in a small, barely-noticeable way. If you're in a small space, for instance, if you're riding in a car, you can concentrate on improving your sneakiness without having to take your surroundings into account.\\nTry this sneaking exercise: While sitting in the passenger seat, see if there are any coins in the cup holder. Slowly but surely, (over the course of the car ride) take the coins out one at a time. Be sure the driver is not watching you, and try not to make any noise. Later, try to place all the coins back in the cup holder. This exercise will improve your hand steadiness, your ability to move silently, and your ability to read the body language of people you're sneaking on!\\n3-2. Expand your sneaking practice.\\nWhen you're confident being sneaky in small, controlled environments, it's time to practice sneaking in larger, more active environments. Every additional person in your surroundings is a variable you'll have to account for - being able to account for other peoples' position and line of vision even when you aren't looking at them using clues like the sound of footsteps, etc. is a vital sneaking skill.\\nTry this exercise: at a social event, watch someone who has a drink out of the corner of your eye. Wait until their back is turned, and then move the drink to another room. After you have moved the drink, go back and watch them as they try to remember where they put it. Make sure you keep a straight face - don't give away that you had something to do with it. This exercise improves your ability to keep inconspicuous in crowded areas as well as your ability to control your emotions in the face of someone you've duped.\\nFor a good test of your ability to move silently, stay awake late at night and try to move around the house silently when everyone's asleep - pick a point in your house to sneak to, then sneak back to your room, going through as many rooms as possible. In the stillness of the night, you'll be able to hear even smallest movements.\\n3-3. Keep your social abilities sharp.\\nYou want to be able to craft lies, excuses, and personal information on the fly to talk your way past troublesome folks who might interfere with your sneaking mission. Practice your ability to lie and charm people - often, it's just as important as your ability to move without being seen or heard.\\nSome people have a visceral negative reaction when they tell a lie that is detectable by others. To start getting over this, begin by telling inconsequential, harmless lies. When someone asks for the time, tell them it's one minute later than it is. You'll eventually work through your reluctance and, if you gradually scale up your lies, soon you'll be able to tell convincingly \\\"real,\\\" consequential lies.\\nIf you're not socially squeamish, try talking your way into a members-only gym or country club as a good test of your social sneaking abilities. Craft a good excuse beforehand - maybe you left your wallet in the locker room, or maybe your friends are inside waiting for you but they can't let you in because they're in the pool away from their phones!\\nTips\\nAlways have an excuse handy when you're sneaking.\\nIf you get caught in the middle of the night, say you are going to the bathroom, or getting a glass of water.(unless you're outside)Then say you heard something and then say how you didn't want to wake someone up and you don't want people to think your crazy.\\nWhen in the act of sneaking, also be doing many activities at once, to distract from the one you don't want to be seen.\\nWarnings\\nNever, ever, ever sneak around government, military, police, or high-importance corporate locations. This is work for professionally-trained spies. Don't wind up in jail for playing James Bond!\\nNever sneak around workplaces at night unless you know you have low chances of being seen or you might get in trouble.\\nIf you get caught in any of the above steps, you may look like a fool.\\nIf you get caught, you may get in trouble.\\nMake sure the item you take has something to take its place or someone might figure out it's gone.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sneakiness is an excellent trait to have at your disposal even if you're not a debonair, globe-hopping spy! Things like surprise parties and pranks are easier and more fun if you can be a little sneaky. For more sinister individuals, sneakiness can also be used to get you what you want when you can't get it through honest means, whether it's access to a members-only club or just access to an R-rated movie. Cultivate your sneaky skills for life charged with excitement, thrills, and, most likely, the occasional embarrassment!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting Like a True Sneak\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lie well.\", \"描述\": \"Sneaking isn't just about moving quietly and not being seen. Equally important are the \\\"social\\\" sneaking skills - skills that will help you get what you want out of people and help you get out of trouble if you're caught sneaking around. Chief among these skills is your ability to tell quick, convincing lies. You need to be able to provide a logical, benign explanation for your behavior at all times.\\nOne way to become a good liar is to take an acting class or to sign up for a theater production. Actors are, in a sense, professional liars - good actors use their faces, voices, and bodies to weave a convincing story.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hide your true emotions.\", \"描述\": \"A simple poker face can get you surprisingly far! When you're sneaky, it's essential that you appear serious about whatever lie you're crafting, even if it's a wild one! \\\"Sell\\\" your lies - your voice, face, and body should all support the idea that what you're saying is the truth. This doesn't mean merely keeping a stern expression at all times - to support your lie, it might be necessary to practice appearing jubilant, sad, preoccupied, and as many other emotions if you can! Remember that our body expresses even more than our voice does.\\nThere's a reason it's called a \\\"poker face\\\" - to help develop stone-cold control over your facial expression, get together with friends to play a little Texas Hold'Em or another poker variation, most of which encourage players to hide their emotions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Craft an excuse beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"When sneaking, you're bound to get eventually caught - how you handle this situation can make the difference between whether you can keep sneaking or whether you're laughed out of the house. Make up an excuse for why you're sneaking beforehand - one that's logical for the place you're sneaking in. For example, if you're caught sneaking around upstairs while there's a party going on downstairs, say you're looking for the bathroom.\\nIf you're sneaking around people who don't know you, you can pre-plan your excuse to the extent of having a fake name and/or backstory. Support your story with your choice of wardrobe and demeanor - if you're pretending to be a religious missionary, for instance, you might want to wear clean slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a tie (if you're male) and to carry religious literature with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be charming.\", \"描述\": \"Naturally likable people have an easier time getting what they want - if you're extra-charming, you'll have the option of talking your way past people you'd otherwise have to slip by unseen. Keep a friendly, interested demeanor. Look at people in the eyes. Joke with them - about the drudgery of your jobs, if you're looking to build a quick rapport. Pretend to support their opinions. Make them like you - remember, you won't have to be their friend after you've snuck your way past them, so use every opportunity at your disposal.\\nDon't be afraid to flirt! If you think you've got this person's \\\"attention,\\\" seize the opportunity! A few choice words from an attractive female can, for instance, convince a bouncer to open the doors to an already-crowded nightclub.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use your appearance as social leverage.\", \"描述\": \"People are shallow - sadly, often, people will make a judgment about you based on how you look. When you're sneaky, use this to your advantage! You might want to dress in starched slacks and a polo to appear as clean-cut and non-threatening as possible so people will overlook you. Conversely, you might want to shave your head, wear a nose ring and a dirty leather jacket if you want to look intimidating. Use common sense - ask yourself, \\\"what sort of person will have the best shot of getting past obstacles in this situation?\\\"\\nIf you're really brave, you can even create a disguise and pretend to be someone you're not - keep in mind that impersonating a police officer, etc. is a serious crime!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use the element of surprise.\", \"描述\": \"When you want to reveal the fruits of your sneakiness to someone, make sure they don't see it coming for maximum impact. Make your behavior and environment appear as normal as possible until the last second. For instance, if you're planning a surprise birthday party at someone's house, keep the house exactly as it was before, except for the room where the guests are hiding. As you lure the birthday boy to the designated room, use the poker face you've practiced to appear as nonchalant as possible.\\nIn the example scenario, be sure to keep up your façade until after he's been surprised! If you give into giggles even a few seconds too soon, you could give the surprise away.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Stealthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Observe your surroundings and the people around you.\", \"描述\": \"A truly stealthy individual is aware of his or her surroundings. S/he listens and looks for obstacles, whether they're animate ( for instance, a person or dog) or inanimate (for instance, a chain-link fence.) When you're sneaky, keep your eyes peeled and your ears listening!\\nIf you have a chance, study the location you're going to sneak around in and the people you'll encounter. Take notes. Even consider sketching simple maps - these will help you plan a strategy for sneaking around this place and getting around these people.\\nLook for patterns in peoples' behavior. For example, if you see that your friend gets home from work at 6 PM every day, you'll know to have your prank set up before then.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eavesdrop\", \"描述\": \"You can learn information you're not meant to learn if you look for opportunities to \\\"overhear\\\" private conversations. If you're at a friend's place with a couple of buddies, and you think your friends are planning a prank on you, quietly sneak up to the door when they're talking in another room, then listen at the keyhole or silently hold a cup to the door to listen in.\\nIf someone's talking on a phone on a land line, try picking up another phone on the same line to overhear easily their conversation from another part of the house. Just be sure to do it very, very quietly - breathe into the receiver.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay out of observers' lines of sight.\", \"描述\": \"The most essential aspect of sneaking is not to be seen doing something bad! Whether you're stealing fries from a friend's lunch or sneaking out past curfew, you'll want not to be seen. Always keep something between you and other people who might see you. If you need to, crouch or contort yourself to conceal yourself behind counters, trees, skinny pieces of wall, or any other environmental features you can use to block other peoples' lines of sight.\\nAvoid large, open areas. You can't see in every direction at once, so in these areas it's hard to keep track of other people and, thus, easier to get spotted. Stay near walls when possible - you know you can't be seen through the wall, so you can focus your attention on the angles from which you're more likely to be spotted.\\nIf you can, learn a building's floor plan before hand. Even a basic understanding of where most of the rooms, windows, and doors are located can help you make good choices about which areas to avoid and where to hide if the need arises.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Minimize the sound you make while moving.\", \"描述\": \"People can hear you even if they can't see you, so one of your first concerns while sneaking around the house should be to make as little noise as possible. Use as many of the following techniques as possible to dampen your audio profile and decrease the chances people will hear you coming from miles away!\\nWalk with delicate steps. Keep your knees slightly bent as you shift your weight slowly from one foot to the next. Use a gentle heel-toe step.\\nWear quiet clothing. Don't wear clothes that make noise when they're ruffled or when you move in them. Soft fabrics are best - sweatpants and many types of athletic wear work well.\\nWear soft footwear. If you must use shoes, wear a pair with soft soles that won't squeak on wet surfaces. Slippers are better. Bare socks are better still!\\nDon't touch noisy surfaces. Most carpets are quieter than hardwood floors, which can squeak and amplify the sound of your footsteps. Also, avoid bumping into any glass or metal or stepping on twigs if you're outdoors.\\nIf possible, make significant movements only when there's another noise to cover it up (for instance, when an airplane flies overhead).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be inconspicuous in crowds.\", \"描述\": \"If you're going to be sneaky somewhere where there are already dozens of people, you're bound to be seen and heard. Instead of avoiding detection, you should instead focus on creating no memorable impression on the people who see you. Dress and act inconspicuously for the situation. Appear friendly and open, but don't talk to anyone you don't have to - the fewer people who remember you, the better.\\nWhen trying to avoid conversation, try to look like you have something to do. Walk with purpose - like you're on your way to something important and can't be bothered to talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have good sleight of hand.\", \"描述\": \"When being sneaky, you'll often need to grab or snatch something from someone without being noticed. Good sleight of hand practitioners have steady, nimble, silent hands. Practice simple magic tricks to improve basic techniques such as palming which will help you steal away with your new prize.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use misdirection.\", \"描述\": \"Learn to create distractions to divert the attention of people it would otherwise be difficult or impossible to sneak by. If you're trying to sneak out of your house after your curfew and your dad's watching TV in the living room with a great view of your only exit, you should devise a reason to make him leave his post! For instance, knock over a shovel in his workshop, making as much noise as possible. Quickly run to a hiding spot (hopefully one you scouted out beforehand), and then wait for him to investigate the noise. When he does, quickly slip out the door!\\nPickpockets use misdirection to steal wallets - you can use the same principle to sneakily mess with your friends! Keep your friend's attention focused on one thing - a funny video or a card trick, for example - while you stretch one hand out of their line of sight to snatch what you want.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Improve your strength and flexibility.\", \"描述\": \"Expert sneakers can benefit from a good workout - a good physical condition can make a huge difference when trying to lift yourself over a fence and out of sight. Similarly, a flexible body can squeeze into tiny hiding places much more easily than an ungainly, inflexible one. There's even a benefit in improving your cardio stamina - if you're caught and you need to dash, that is!\\nIf you haven't already, start a well-balanced exercise routine to start on the path to personal fitness.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Honing Your Sneaky Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice basic sneaking skills.\", \"描述\": \"When you're just beginning, try to be sneaky in a small, barely-noticeable way. If you're in a small space, for instance, if you're riding in a car, you can concentrate on improving your sneakiness without having to take your surroundings into account.\\nTry this sneaking exercise: While sitting in the passenger seat, see if there are any coins in the cup holder. Slowly but surely, (over the course of the car ride) take the coins out one at a time. Be sure the driver is not watching you, and try not to make any noise. Later, try to place all the coins back in the cup holder. This exercise will improve your hand steadiness, your ability to move silently, and your ability to read the body language of people you're sneaking on!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Expand your sneaking practice.\", \"描述\": \"When you're confident being sneaky in small, controlled environments, it's time to practice sneaking in larger, more active environments. Every additional person in your surroundings is a variable you'll have to account for - being able to account for other peoples' position and line of vision even when you aren't looking at them using clues like the sound of footsteps, etc. is a vital sneaking skill.\\nTry this exercise: at a social event, watch someone who has a drink out of the corner of your eye. Wait until their back is turned, and then move the drink to another room. After you have moved the drink, go back and watch them as they try to remember where they put it. Make sure you keep a straight face - don't give away that you had something to do with it. This exercise improves your ability to keep inconspicuous in crowded areas as well as your ability to control your emotions in the face of someone you've duped.\\nFor a good test of your ability to move silently, stay awake late at night and try to move around the house silently when everyone's asleep - pick a point in your house to sneak to, then sneak back to your room, going through as many rooms as possible. In the stillness of the night, you'll be able to hear even smallest movements.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your social abilities sharp.\", \"描述\": \"You want to be able to craft lies, excuses, and personal information on the fly to talk your way past troublesome folks who might interfere with your sneaking mission. Practice your ability to lie and charm people - often, it's just as important as your ability to move without being seen or heard.\\nSome people have a visceral negative reaction when they tell a lie that is detectable by others. To start getting over this, begin by telling inconsequential, harmless lies. When someone asks for the time, tell them it's one minute later than it is. You'll eventually work through your reluctance and, if you gradually scale up your lies, soon you'll be able to tell convincingly \\\"real,\\\" consequential lies.\\nIf you're not socially squeamish, try talking your way into a members-only gym or country club as a good test of your social sneaking abilities. Craft a good excuse beforehand - maybe you left your wallet in the locker room, or maybe your friends are inside waiting for you but they can't let you in because they're in the pool away from their phones!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always have an excuse handy when you're sneaking.\\n\", \"If you get caught in the middle of the night, say you are going to the bathroom, or getting a glass of water.(unless you're outside)Then say you heard something and then say how you didn't want to wake someone up and you don't want people to think your crazy.\\n\", \"When in the act of sneaking, also be doing many activities at once, to distract from the one you don't want to be seen.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never, ever, ever sneak around government, military, police, or high-importance corporate locations. This is work for professionally-trained spies. Don't wind up in jail for playing James Bond!\\n\", \"Never sneak around workplaces at night unless you know you have low chances of being seen or you might get in trouble.\\n\", \"If you get caught in any of the above steps, you may look like a fool.\\n\", \"If you get caught, you may get in trouble.\\n\", \"Make sure the item you take has something to take its place or someone might figure out it's gone.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,168 | How to Be Snobby | 1. Exuding Snobbery
1-1. Carry yourself well.
Always watch your posture. This means walking with your head up, shoulders back and direct eye contact. Gliding into a room with this attitude will immediately send an air of superiority.
For ladies, wearing heels helps create the image. By towering over others, you will seem better than them as they will be forced to look up to you.
1-2. Be the expert.
All great snobs know everything, of course. Even without formal training or education in a given subject, you can offer up a poignant thought on anything from wine to classical music. Avoid considering anyone else’s thoughts, ideas and feelings on a topic.
Use terms like avant-garde and noir to make yourself sound more intelligent.
Question why others didn’t ask your advice when making a particular decision.
1-3. Talk like a snob.
You have a personal rating scale that you use for everything: people, vacation spots, happy hour locations, etc. and it’s foolproof. Be sure to let everyone know where each thing falls on your snob-o-meter. How else will they know that you’re right and they’re wrong?
When sharing your thoughts, be sure to include words like “should” and “always.”
Dazzle those around you with as many off-the-cuff responses as possible. Keeping them on their toes will ensure your snob status.
1-4. Avoid certain duties.
Proclaim with all the confidence you can muster that you simply don’t do certain things. Everyone should understand that you are above manual labor like scrubbing the dishes and yanking weeds from the garden. Even at work, you huff and puff when someone suggests that you make a breakfast run or fix the copy machine… even if it is in your job description.
You can do this by just refusing. Sooner or later, they will stop asking.
2. Eating Snobbishly
2-1. Skip uncool establishments.
Using every trick in the book, coerce those around you to only visit the spots you deem worthy of your presence. There are a lot of exceptional places to choose from but if you didn’t think of it, it’s not good enough.
Consider using tactics like pouting to manipulate those around you into caving in.
Throw out words like "tacky" and "gross" to convey your utter disdain.
2-2. Order with flair.
Whether a 5-star restaurant or a local coffee shop, you must have everything just so. You can’t imagine simply ordering straight from the menu without any substitutions or chef recommendations. Don’t hold back when ordering either. Ask the waiter where the ingredients were flown in from and when. You expect the most natural, organic and freshest at all times. Find out how the fish or steak will be prepared and insist it be to perfection.
If you don’t like something, send it back immediately.
Tell the staff you won’t pay for the meal if you are really feeling feisty. You shouldn’t have to fork over cash for something that was sub-par.
2-3. Buy high-end groceries.
Like all things in your life, your supermarket is just another extension of your awesomeness. Snobs don’t shop at places like Walmart. They prefer the niche supermarkets where employees are dressed to impressed and the floors sparkle. Only frequent a store where your every whim can be catered to. This means, if they don’t have your favorite item, they’ll order it and deliver it to your front door. Anything less is unacceptable.
3. Looking Like a Snob
3-1. Purchase only the finest.
There isn’t a snob alive that would be caught shopping locally, in their home town, no matter how high fashion it may be. Instead, take shopping trips.
Pour over fashion magazines, websites and blogs for ideas. Pack your bags and jet. Don’t forget to bring along an empty suitcase for all the great finds.
Download a currency conversion app for your trip too. This will help you ensure you stay on budget… if you even have one.
3-2. Buy a trendy item first.
You MUST have the latest and greatest before anyone else. If you are a tech snob, make sure you pre-order the newest iPad to hit the market. More of a sneaker person? Have your friend who works at the retail store to set a pair (or two) aside before it even hits the shelves.
Be sure to boast to those around you about how sweet the new item is and that you can’t believe they don’t have one and have to wait in line.
3-3. Dress like success.
Snobs always look like money from the top to the bottom. Make sure you wear pricey sunglasses, perfume/cologne, shoes, etc. You can still come across as a snob even without the funds. It’s all about how people perceive you.
You can accomplish this by leaving tags on a few items in your closet. It will give the illusion that you have cash to blow.
Take tips from those you admire like athletes and musicians and copy their style.
Watch to make sure you don’t see your favorite accessory all over town. If you do, toss it!
4. Conversing with Others Like a Snob
4-1. Be rude to others.
Don’t waste any time trying to get to know new people. You can tell right away that they are beneath you and far less cultured. Showing them respect is unnecessary. You can really show off how snobby you are by pointing out their lower-class behavior.
Say things like, “I can’t believe you hold your wine glass by the bowl, instead of the stem. Where do you come from?”
4-2. Dismiss wait staff and other “help.”
These peasants are the lowest of the low in your opinion. You often find the perfect way to put them in their place and display your impressive knowledge of their field, all at the same time.
When ordering, roll your eyes, scoff or barely make eye contact. Launch into a rant about how you wouldn’t dare drink a non-craft beer. This will help them understand who they are dealing with.
4-3. Schmooze with the elite.
Hanging with this crowd is where you feel most comfortable and at home, but they still have a lot to learn from you. While rubbing elbows with these folks, interrupt as often as possible to show off.
Drop lots of names you know will impressive them during the conversation.
One up them with each story they tell. For example, “Oh, you spent summer in upstate New York?” “That’s so over. I prefer northern Italy.”
Prove you understand the societal hierarchy. You can illustrate this by pointing out someone’s cheap shoes or banged up car. “Can you imagine leaving the house with that?” will be a staple statement in your verbal arsenal.
Tips
Ignore people and act like you're better.
Snobs are obsequious to those above them.
Warnings
Nobody really likes a snob.
People may not like you and avoid you at all costs.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Exuding Snobbery\\n1-1. Carry yourself well.\\nAlways watch your posture. This means walking with your head up, shoulders back and direct eye contact. Gliding into a room with this attitude will immediately send an air of superiority.\\nFor ladies, wearing heels helps create the image. By towering over others, you will seem better than them as they will be forced to look up to you.\\n1-2. Be the expert.\\nAll great snobs know everything, of course. Even without formal training or education in a given subject, you can offer up a poignant thought on anything from wine to classical music. Avoid considering anyone else’s thoughts, ideas and feelings on a topic. \\nUse terms like avant-garde and noir to make yourself sound more intelligent.\\nQuestion why others didn’t ask your advice when making a particular decision.\\n1-3. Talk like a snob.\\nYou have a personal rating scale that you use for everything: people, vacation spots, happy hour locations, etc. and it’s foolproof. Be sure to let everyone know where each thing falls on your snob-o-meter. How else will they know that you’re right and they’re wrong? \\nWhen sharing your thoughts, be sure to include words like “should” and “always.”\\nDazzle those around you with as many off-the-cuff responses as possible. Keeping them on their toes will ensure your snob status.\\n1-4. Avoid certain duties.\\nProclaim with all the confidence you can muster that you simply don’t do certain things. Everyone should understand that you are above manual labor like scrubbing the dishes and yanking weeds from the garden. Even at work, you huff and puff when someone suggests that you make a breakfast run or fix the copy machine… even if it is in your job description.\\nYou can do this by just refusing. Sooner or later, they will stop asking.\\n2. Eating Snobbishly\\n2-1. Skip uncool establishments.\\nUsing every trick in the book, coerce those around you to only visit the spots you deem worthy of your presence. There are a lot of exceptional places to choose from but if you didn’t think of it, it’s not good enough.\\nConsider using tactics like pouting to manipulate those around you into caving in.\\nThrow out words like \\\"tacky\\\" and \\\"gross\\\" to convey your utter disdain.\\n2-2. Order with flair.\\nWhether a 5-star restaurant or a local coffee shop, you must have everything just so. You can’t imagine simply ordering straight from the menu without any substitutions or chef recommendations. Don’t hold back when ordering either. Ask the waiter where the ingredients were flown in from and when. You expect the most natural, organic and freshest at all times. Find out how the fish or steak will be prepared and insist it be to perfection.\\nIf you don’t like something, send it back immediately.\\nTell the staff you won’t pay for the meal if you are really feeling feisty. You shouldn’t have to fork over cash for something that was sub-par.\\n2-3. Buy high-end groceries.\\nLike all things in your life, your supermarket is just another extension of your awesomeness. Snobs don’t shop at places like Walmart. They prefer the niche supermarkets where employees are dressed to impressed and the floors sparkle. Only frequent a store where your every whim can be catered to. This means, if they don’t have your favorite item, they’ll order it and deliver it to your front door. Anything less is unacceptable.\\n3. Looking Like a Snob\\n3-1. Purchase only the finest.\\nThere isn’t a snob alive that would be caught shopping locally, in their home town, no matter how high fashion it may be. Instead, take shopping trips. \\nPour over fashion magazines, websites and blogs for ideas. Pack your bags and jet. Don’t forget to bring along an empty suitcase for all the great finds.\\nDownload a currency conversion app for your trip too. This will help you ensure you stay on budget… if you even have one.\\n3-2. Buy a trendy item first.\\nYou MUST have the latest and greatest before anyone else. If you are a tech snob, make sure you pre-order the newest iPad to hit the market. More of a sneaker person? Have your friend who works at the retail store to set a pair (or two) aside before it even hits the shelves.\\nBe sure to boast to those around you about how sweet the new item is and that you can’t believe they don’t have one and have to wait in line.\\n3-3. Dress like success.\\nSnobs always look like money from the top to the bottom. Make sure you wear pricey sunglasses, perfume/cologne, shoes, etc. You can still come across as a snob even without the funds. It’s all about how people perceive you. \\nYou can accomplish this by leaving tags on a few items in your closet. It will give the illusion that you have cash to blow.\\nTake tips from those you admire like athletes and musicians and copy their style.\\nWatch to make sure you don’t see your favorite accessory all over town. If you do, toss it!\\n4. Conversing with Others Like a Snob\\n4-1. Be rude to others.\\nDon’t waste any time trying to get to know new people. You can tell right away that they are beneath you and far less cultured. Showing them respect is unnecessary. You can really show off how snobby you are by pointing out their lower-class behavior.\\nSay things like, “I can’t believe you hold your wine glass by the bowl, instead of the stem. Where do you come from?”\\n4-2. Dismiss wait staff and other “help.”\\nThese peasants are the lowest of the low in your opinion. You often find the perfect way to put them in their place and display your impressive knowledge of their field, all at the same time.\\nWhen ordering, roll your eyes, scoff or barely make eye contact. Launch into a rant about how you wouldn’t dare drink a non-craft beer. This will help them understand who they are dealing with.\\n4-3. Schmooze with the elite.\\nHanging with this crowd is where you feel most comfortable and at home, but they still have a lot to learn from you. While rubbing elbows with these folks, interrupt as often as possible to show off.\\nDrop lots of names you know will impressive them during the conversation.\\nOne up them with each story they tell. For example, “Oh, you spent summer in upstate New York?” “That’s so over. I prefer northern Italy.”\\nProve you understand the societal hierarchy. You can illustrate this by pointing out someone’s cheap shoes or banged up car. “Can you imagine leaving the house with that?” will be a staple statement in your verbal arsenal.\\nTips\\nIgnore people and act like you're better.\\nSnobs are obsequious to those above them.\\nWarnings\\nNobody really likes a snob.\\nPeople may not like you and avoid you at all costs.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A snob is an individual who has an exaggerated perception of practically anything you can imagine. They seek to experience all of life’s finer things and have a sense of superiority over those who do not share their elitist tastes and views. You can become such an individual by taking on some or all of the following characteristics.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exuding Snobbery\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Carry yourself well.\", \"描述\": \"Always watch your posture. This means walking with your head up, shoulders back and direct eye contact. Gliding into a room with this attitude will immediately send an air of superiority.\\nFor ladies, wearing heels helps create the image. By towering over others, you will seem better than them as they will be forced to look up to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be the expert.\", \"描述\": \"All great snobs know everything, of course. Even without formal training or education in a given subject, you can offer up a poignant thought on anything from wine to classical music. Avoid considering anyone else’s thoughts, ideas and feelings on a topic. \\nUse terms like avant-garde and noir to make yourself sound more intelligent.\\nQuestion why others didn’t ask your advice when making a particular decision.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk like a snob.\", \"描述\": \"You have a personal rating scale that you use for everything: people, vacation spots, happy hour locations, etc. and it’s foolproof. Be sure to let everyone know where each thing falls on your snob-o-meter. How else will they know that you’re right and they’re wrong? \\nWhen sharing your thoughts, be sure to include words like “should” and “always.”\\nDazzle those around you with as many off-the-cuff responses as possible. Keeping them on their toes will ensure your snob status.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid certain duties.\", \"描述\": \"Proclaim with all the confidence you can muster that you simply don’t do certain things. Everyone should understand that you are above manual labor like scrubbing the dishes and yanking weeds from the garden. Even at work, you huff and puff when someone suggests that you make a breakfast run or fix the copy machine… even if it is in your job description.\\nYou can do this by just refusing. Sooner or later, they will stop asking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eating Snobbishly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Skip uncool establishments.\", \"描述\": \"Using every trick in the book, coerce those around you to only visit the spots you deem worthy of your presence. There are a lot of exceptional places to choose from but if you didn’t think of it, it’s not good enough.\\nConsider using tactics like pouting to manipulate those around you into caving in.\\nThrow out words like \\\"tacky\\\" and \\\"gross\\\" to convey your utter disdain.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Order with flair.\", \"描述\": \"Whether a 5-star restaurant or a local coffee shop, you must have everything just so. You can’t imagine simply ordering straight from the menu without any substitutions or chef recommendations. Don’t hold back when ordering either. Ask the waiter where the ingredients were flown in from and when. You expect the most natural, organic and freshest at all times. Find out how the fish or steak will be prepared and insist it be to perfection.\\nIf you don’t like something, send it back immediately.\\nTell the staff you won’t pay for the meal if you are really feeling feisty. You shouldn’t have to fork over cash for something that was sub-par.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy high-end groceries.\", \"描述\": \"Like all things in your life, your supermarket is just another extension of your awesomeness. Snobs don’t shop at places like Walmart. They prefer the niche supermarkets where employees are dressed to impressed and the floors sparkle. Only frequent a store where your every whim can be catered to. This means, if they don’t have your favorite item, they’ll order it and deliver it to your front door. Anything less is unacceptable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Looking Like a Snob\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Purchase only the finest.\", \"描述\": \"There isn’t a snob alive that would be caught shopping locally, in their home town, no matter how high fashion it may be. Instead, take shopping trips. \\nPour over fashion magazines, websites and blogs for ideas. Pack your bags and jet. Don’t forget to bring along an empty suitcase for all the great finds.\\nDownload a currency conversion app for your trip too. This will help you ensure you stay on budget… if you even have one.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy a trendy item first.\", \"描述\": \"You MUST have the latest and greatest before anyone else. If you are a tech snob, make sure you pre-order the newest iPad to hit the market. More of a sneaker person? Have your friend who works at the retail store to set a pair (or two) aside before it even hits the shelves.\\nBe sure to boast to those around you about how sweet the new item is and that you can’t believe they don’t have one and have to wait in line.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress like success.\", \"描述\": \"Snobs always look like money from the top to the bottom. Make sure you wear pricey sunglasses, perfume/cologne, shoes, etc. You can still come across as a snob even without the funds. It’s all about how people perceive you. \\nYou can accomplish this by leaving tags on a few items in your closet. It will give the illusion that you have cash to blow.\\nTake tips from those you admire like athletes and musicians and copy their style.\\nWatch to make sure you don’t see your favorite accessory all over town. If you do, toss it!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Conversing with Others Like a Snob\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be rude to others.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t waste any time trying to get to know new people. You can tell right away that they are beneath you and far less cultured. Showing them respect is unnecessary. You can really show off how snobby you are by pointing out their lower-class behavior.\\nSay things like, “I can’t believe you hold your wine glass by the bowl, instead of the stem. Where do you come from?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dismiss wait staff and other “help.”\", \"描述\": \"These peasants are the lowest of the low in your opinion. You often find the perfect way to put them in their place and display your impressive knowledge of their field, all at the same time.\\nWhen ordering, roll your eyes, scoff or barely make eye contact. Launch into a rant about how you wouldn’t dare drink a non-craft beer. This will help them understand who they are dealing with.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Schmooze with the elite.\", \"描述\": \"Hanging with this crowd is where you feel most comfortable and at home, but they still have a lot to learn from you. While rubbing elbows with these folks, interrupt as often as possible to show off.\\nDrop lots of names you know will impressive them during the conversation.\\nOne up them with each story they tell. For example, “Oh, you spent summer in upstate New York?” “That’s so over. I prefer northern Italy.”\\nProve you understand the societal hierarchy. You can illustrate this by pointing out someone’s cheap shoes or banged up car. “Can you imagine leaving the house with that?” will be a staple statement in your verbal arsenal.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Ignore people and act like you're better.\\n\", \"Snobs are obsequious to those above them.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Nobody really likes a snob.\\n\", \"People may not like you and avoid you at all costs.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,169 | How to Be Sociable | 1. Overcoming Reservations
1-1. Be less critical.
Some of the people who call themselves "antisocial," tend to constantly criticize both themselves and those around them. They avoid social interaction because they are on the one hand afraid of being judged by others, and on the other hand (ironically) themselves extremely judgmental toward others. In order to become a more social person, it is important to accept that everybody, no matter how they may seem on the outside, has both positive and negative qualities. What separates the confident people from the insecure people is the attitude that they have toward themselves and the active focus in living a fulfilling social life. Confident, social people tend to focus on the positive qualities of themselves and those around them, whereas unconfident, antisocial people focus on their own shortcomings and the shortcomings of the people they know.
Make a list of your own positive qualities. Be sure to include both internal (intellectual, emotional) and external (physical) qualities. Get in the habit of reminding yourself of these positive qualities on a daily basis, and counter each negative thought you have toward yourself with two positive ones.
Stop referring to yourself as shy, timid, or antisocial. The more you use these words to label yourself, the more you will reinforce the idea that you are incapable of social interaction! If the idea frightens you, remember that your perception by others depends not on them but on you. If you want to become a more social person, you have to start by actually believing that you are and can be a social person. Remind yourself that being sociable is a choice, not a predisposition.
Accept that human nature is good. While there are plenty of bad people out there, it is important to accept that humans can be loving, kind, and accepting creatures. Believing this will make you look forward to meeting new people rather than avoiding it.
1-2. Don't over-analyze your interactions.
Over-thinking is usually what prevents people from enjoying social interaction. While it may seem difficult, it is important to break the habits of anticipating what social interactions will be like before they happen, and of over-analyzing them once they are over.
Rather than focusing on what may go wrong or how you may embarrass yourself, approach every new social interaction with a clean slate and a positive attitude.
When reflecting on past interactions, focus on the positive things rather than the negative ones. Even if it wasn't the most eventful or exciting interaction of your life, try to identify one good experience from each interaction you have, even if it is as simple as having been able to make somebody laugh.
1-3. Realize that you're not that big of a deal.
Interestingly, shy people who feel invisible and unwanted also tend to feel like they are constantly under a spotlight, being watched and criticized by others. This strange paradox of shyness is what prevents people from feeling comfortable being themselves in front of others. This doesn't mean that you should feel like an unimportant person, but rather, that you should acknowledge that you are your own worst critic; other people are simply too busy to constantly judge and criticize you.
Remember that people are so caught up in their own lives and interactions that they have little time to notice if you embarrass yourself, say something stupid, or don't look your best. Even if they do notice, it is very unlikely that they will care very much, as they have their own issues to deal with.
Recognize that everybody, to some extent or another, feels exactly the same way you do. Even the most social people still feel insecure and worry about embarrassing themselves; the only difference is that they choose to take the risk and enjoy themselves rather than worrying about how others will react.
2. Improving Your Social Life
2-1. Get practice.
Just like any other skill, being sociable requires consistency and practice in order to master. This means you will have to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to interact with other people on a regular basis. Avoid compartmentalizing your life and separating your "social life" from the rest of your life. If you truly want to be a social person, you will have to be social in all aspects of your life, from work to school to family.
Get in the habit of striking up casual conversations with the people you meet on a daily basis, including bank tellers, baristas, and cashiers.
Spend your free time with friends, when possible. If you are the type of person who spends a lot of time partaking in a certain hobby or physical activity alone, then consider inviting a friend along next time.
Always accept social invitations. Avoid making excuses like being too tired, having to wake up early the next day, or feeling unattractive. While some excuses are legitimate, others are simply used to avoid interaction. Learn to differentiate between honest excuses and dishonest ones.
2-2. Be positive.
Everybody wants to be around people who are optimistic, upbeat, and happy. Even if you don't feel positive all of the time, you should at least act positive when talking to other people. For example, if somebody asks you to tell them about your life, focus on sharing the positive qualities of your life rather than complaining about the negative ones.
Making your life sound positive will instantly spark peoples' interest, and they will want to hear more about you.
2-3. Be fully engaged.
If you want to seem interesting to others, you will have to show interest in them, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation. When you are talking to somebody, listen to what they are saying rather than worrying about what you should be saying. Make eye contact, nod your head, and ask them follow-up questions.
Avoid constantly checking your phone or looking around you while you are in the middle of a conversation. These types of things come across as rude and suggest that you are uninterested in the person and conversation.
2-4. Watch your body language.
If you are at a party or other social function, how you position your body sends a message to other people. If you want to be approached by others, you should avoid standing in the corner, crossing your arms, staring at your phone, and frowning.
Making eye contact with others and smiling shows them that you are friendly, open, and non-intimidating. Plus, everybody looks more attractive when they smile.
2-5. Initiate interactions.
If you are constantly waiting around for people to call you or invite you places, then you are wasting your life. Relationships are built upon a mutual effort; if you want to show people that you value their friendship, you will have to reach out to them and initiate opportunities to spend time with them.
Keep in touch with friends, even if you don't live in the same town. Pick up the phone and call them, send them a text, or e-mail them asking how they've been.
2-6. Embrace opportunities to meet new people.
The best way to make new friends and expand your social circle is to say yes to new opportunities to meet others. Accept invitations to parties and social gatherings, take trips to new places, and talk to strangers in cafes, on the bus, at school, on airplanes, etc.
While meeting strangers may seem intimidating, think of it this way: if you don't know them to begin with, then you really have nothing to lose if things don't work out. On the other hand, you never know when a stranger can turn into your new best friend, business partner, or love interest!
2-7. Make notes of what people may like.
It is hard to remember what each and every person you have met so far likes or what he or she is interested in. So, when you go home make notes of what this person likes. Research it properly and when you meet them again talk to them about it. You will be surprised by the number of friends you will make by just learning what each one of them is interested in It may seem hard and time consuming at first so start by your classmates or colleges.
Remember to not get carried away. For example, do not go as far as stalking the person on social networking sites. Just knowing by how much points did Barcelona won with and the next time they are going to play in a match is enough. Even that person will continue the conversation so you don't have to worry about reaching a dead end.
Tips
Avoid people who make you feel insecure about yourself. Rather, be around people who encourage you to progress.
Being positive has a good impact on others.
Don't be afraid to talk to someone new! They just might turn out to be a really close friend. Even though it may make you nervous to talk, just do it before you miss out on someone or something special.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Overcoming Reservations\\n1-1. Be less critical.\\nSome of the people who call themselves \\\"antisocial,\\\" tend to constantly criticize both themselves and those around them. They avoid social interaction because they are on the one hand afraid of being judged by others, and on the other hand (ironically) themselves extremely judgmental toward others. In order to become a more social person, it is important to accept that everybody, no matter how they may seem on the outside, has both positive and negative qualities. What separates the confident people from the insecure people is the attitude that they have toward themselves and the active focus in living a fulfilling social life. Confident, social people tend to focus on the positive qualities of themselves and those around them, whereas unconfident, antisocial people focus on their own shortcomings and the shortcomings of the people they know.\\nMake a list of your own positive qualities. Be sure to include both internal (intellectual, emotional) and external (physical) qualities. Get in the habit of reminding yourself of these positive qualities on a daily basis, and counter each negative thought you have toward yourself with two positive ones.\\nStop referring to yourself as shy, timid, or antisocial. The more you use these words to label yourself, the more you will reinforce the idea that you are incapable of social interaction! If the idea frightens you, remember that your perception by others depends not on them but on you. If you want to become a more social person, you have to start by actually believing that you are and can be a social person. Remind yourself that being sociable is a choice, not a predisposition.\\nAccept that human nature is good. While there are plenty of bad people out there, it is important to accept that humans can be loving, kind, and accepting creatures. Believing this will make you look forward to meeting new people rather than avoiding it.\\n1-2. Don't over-analyze your interactions.\\nOver-thinking is usually what prevents people from enjoying social interaction. While it may seem difficult, it is important to break the habits of anticipating what social interactions will be like before they happen, and of over-analyzing them once they are over.\\nRather than focusing on what may go wrong or how you may embarrass yourself, approach every new social interaction with a clean slate and a positive attitude.\\nWhen reflecting on past interactions, focus on the positive things rather than the negative ones. Even if it wasn't the most eventful or exciting interaction of your life, try to identify one good experience from each interaction you have, even if it is as simple as having been able to make somebody laugh.\\n1-3. Realize that you're not that big of a deal.\\nInterestingly, shy people who feel invisible and unwanted also tend to feel like they are constantly under a spotlight, being watched and criticized by others. This strange paradox of shyness is what prevents people from feeling comfortable being themselves in front of others. This doesn't mean that you should feel like an unimportant person, but rather, that you should acknowledge that you are your own worst critic; other people are simply too busy to constantly judge and criticize you.\\nRemember that people are so caught up in their own lives and interactions that they have little time to notice if you embarrass yourself, say something stupid, or don't look your best. Even if they do notice, it is very unlikely that they will care very much, as they have their own issues to deal with.\\nRecognize that everybody, to some extent or another, feels exactly the same way you do. Even the most social people still feel insecure and worry about embarrassing themselves; the only difference is that they choose to take the risk and enjoy themselves rather than worrying about how others will react.\\n2. Improving Your Social Life\\n2-1. Get practice.\\nJust like any other skill, being sociable requires consistency and practice in order to master. This means you will have to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to interact with other people on a regular basis. Avoid compartmentalizing your life and separating your \\\"social life\\\" from the rest of your life. If you truly want to be a social person, you will have to be social in all aspects of your life, from work to school to family.\\nGet in the habit of striking up casual conversations with the people you meet on a daily basis, including bank tellers, baristas, and cashiers.\\nSpend your free time with friends, when possible. If you are the type of person who spends a lot of time partaking in a certain hobby or physical activity alone, then consider inviting a friend along next time.\\nAlways accept social invitations. Avoid making excuses like being too tired, having to wake up early the next day, or feeling unattractive. While some excuses are legitimate, others are simply used to avoid interaction. Learn to differentiate between honest excuses and dishonest ones.\\n2-2. Be positive.\\nEverybody wants to be around people who are optimistic, upbeat, and happy. Even if you don't feel positive all of the time, you should at least act positive when talking to other people. For example, if somebody asks you to tell them about your life, focus on sharing the positive qualities of your life rather than complaining about the negative ones.\\nMaking your life sound positive will instantly spark peoples' interest, and they will want to hear more about you.\\n2-3. Be fully engaged.\\nIf you want to seem interesting to others, you will have to show interest in them, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation. When you are talking to somebody, listen to what they are saying rather than worrying about what you should be saying. Make eye contact, nod your head, and ask them follow-up questions.\\nAvoid constantly checking your phone or looking around you while you are in the middle of a conversation. These types of things come across as rude and suggest that you are uninterested in the person and conversation.\\n2-4. Watch your body language.\\nIf you are at a party or other social function, how you position your body sends a message to other people. If you want to be approached by others, you should avoid standing in the corner, crossing your arms, staring at your phone, and frowning.\\nMaking eye contact with others and smiling shows them that you are friendly, open, and non-intimidating. Plus, everybody looks more attractive when they smile.\\n2-5. Initiate interactions.\\nIf you are constantly waiting around for people to call you or invite you places, then you are wasting your life. Relationships are built upon a mutual effort; if you want to show people that you value their friendship, you will have to reach out to them and initiate opportunities to spend time with them.\\nKeep in touch with friends, even if you don't live in the same town. Pick up the phone and call them, send them a text, or e-mail them asking how they've been.\\n2-6. Embrace opportunities to meet new people.\\nThe best way to make new friends and expand your social circle is to say yes to new opportunities to meet others. Accept invitations to parties and social gatherings, take trips to new places, and talk to strangers in cafes, on the bus, at school, on airplanes, etc.\\nWhile meeting strangers may seem intimidating, think of it this way: if you don't know them to begin with, then you really have nothing to lose if things don't work out. On the other hand, you never know when a stranger can turn into your new best friend, business partner, or love interest!\\n2-7. Make notes of what people may like.\\nIt is hard to remember what each and every person you have met so far likes or what he or she is interested in. So, when you go home make notes of what this person likes. Research it properly and when you meet them again talk to them about it. You will be surprised by the number of friends you will make by just learning what each one of them is interested in It may seem hard and time consuming at first so start by your classmates or colleges. \\nRemember to not get carried away. For example, do not go as far as stalking the person on social networking sites. Just knowing by how much points did Barcelona won with and the next time they are going to play in a match is enough. Even that person will continue the conversation so you don't have to worry about reaching a dead end.\\nTips\\nAvoid people who make you feel insecure about yourself. Rather, be around people who encourage you to progress.\\nBeing positive has a good impact on others.\\nDon't be afraid to talk to someone new! They just might turn out to be a really close friend. Even though it may make you nervous to talk, just do it before you miss out on someone or something special.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While it may seem like some people are naturally more sociable than others, the fact of the matter is that all human beings are social, and as with any other skill, it is possible to train oneself to become more social. Read this article to learn how to break out of your comfort zone and improve your social life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Reservations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be less critical.\", \"描述\": \"Some of the people who call themselves \\\"antisocial,\\\" tend to constantly criticize both themselves and those around them. They avoid social interaction because they are on the one hand afraid of being judged by others, and on the other hand (ironically) themselves extremely judgmental toward others. In order to become a more social person, it is important to accept that everybody, no matter how they may seem on the outside, has both positive and negative qualities. What separates the confident people from the insecure people is the attitude that they have toward themselves and the active focus in living a fulfilling social life. Confident, social people tend to focus on the positive qualities of themselves and those around them, whereas unconfident, antisocial people focus on their own shortcomings and the shortcomings of the people they know.\\nMake a list of your own positive qualities. Be sure to include both internal (intellectual, emotional) and external (physical) qualities. Get in the habit of reminding yourself of these positive qualities on a daily basis, and counter each negative thought you have toward yourself with two positive ones.\\nStop referring to yourself as shy, timid, or antisocial. The more you use these words to label yourself, the more you will reinforce the idea that you are incapable of social interaction! If the idea frightens you, remember that your perception by others depends not on them but on you. If you want to become a more social person, you have to start by actually believing that you are and can be a social person. Remind yourself that being sociable is a choice, not a predisposition.\\nAccept that human nature is good. While there are plenty of bad people out there, it is important to accept that humans can be loving, kind, and accepting creatures. Believing this will make you look forward to meeting new people rather than avoiding it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't over-analyze your interactions.\", \"描述\": \"Over-thinking is usually what prevents people from enjoying social interaction. While it may seem difficult, it is important to break the habits of anticipating what social interactions will be like before they happen, and of over-analyzing them once they are over.\\nRather than focusing on what may go wrong or how you may embarrass yourself, approach every new social interaction with a clean slate and a positive attitude.\\nWhen reflecting on past interactions, focus on the positive things rather than the negative ones. Even if it wasn't the most eventful or exciting interaction of your life, try to identify one good experience from each interaction you have, even if it is as simple as having been able to make somebody laugh.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Realize that you're not that big of a deal.\", \"描述\": \"Interestingly, shy people who feel invisible and unwanted also tend to feel like they are constantly under a spotlight, being watched and criticized by others. This strange paradox of shyness is what prevents people from feeling comfortable being themselves in front of others. This doesn't mean that you should feel like an unimportant person, but rather, that you should acknowledge that you are your own worst critic; other people are simply too busy to constantly judge and criticize you.\\nRemember that people are so caught up in their own lives and interactions that they have little time to notice if you embarrass yourself, say something stupid, or don't look your best. Even if they do notice, it is very unlikely that they will care very much, as they have their own issues to deal with.\\nRecognize that everybody, to some extent or another, feels exactly the same way you do. Even the most social people still feel insecure and worry about embarrassing themselves; the only difference is that they choose to take the risk and enjoy themselves rather than worrying about how others will react.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Social Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get practice.\", \"描述\": \"Just like any other skill, being sociable requires consistency and practice in order to master. This means you will have to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to interact with other people on a regular basis. Avoid compartmentalizing your life and separating your \\\"social life\\\" from the rest of your life. If you truly want to be a social person, you will have to be social in all aspects of your life, from work to school to family.\\nGet in the habit of striking up casual conversations with the people you meet on a daily basis, including bank tellers, baristas, and cashiers.\\nSpend your free time with friends, when possible. If you are the type of person who spends a lot of time partaking in a certain hobby or physical activity alone, then consider inviting a friend along next time.\\nAlways accept social invitations. Avoid making excuses like being too tired, having to wake up early the next day, or feeling unattractive. While some excuses are legitimate, others are simply used to avoid interaction. Learn to differentiate between honest excuses and dishonest ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be positive.\", \"描述\": \"Everybody wants to be around people who are optimistic, upbeat, and happy. Even if you don't feel positive all of the time, you should at least act positive when talking to other people. For example, if somebody asks you to tell them about your life, focus on sharing the positive qualities of your life rather than complaining about the negative ones.\\nMaking your life sound positive will instantly spark peoples' interest, and they will want to hear more about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be fully engaged.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to seem interesting to others, you will have to show interest in them, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation. When you are talking to somebody, listen to what they are saying rather than worrying about what you should be saying. Make eye contact, nod your head, and ask them follow-up questions.\\nAvoid constantly checking your phone or looking around you while you are in the middle of a conversation. These types of things come across as rude and suggest that you are uninterested in the person and conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch your body language.\", \"描述\": \"If you are at a party or other social function, how you position your body sends a message to other people. If you want to be approached by others, you should avoid standing in the corner, crossing your arms, staring at your phone, and frowning.\\nMaking eye contact with others and smiling shows them that you are friendly, open, and non-intimidating. Plus, everybody looks more attractive when they smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Initiate interactions.\", \"描述\": \"If you are constantly waiting around for people to call you or invite you places, then you are wasting your life. Relationships are built upon a mutual effort; if you want to show people that you value their friendship, you will have to reach out to them and initiate opportunities to spend time with them.\\nKeep in touch with friends, even if you don't live in the same town. Pick up the phone and call them, send them a text, or e-mail them asking how they've been.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Embrace opportunities to meet new people.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to make new friends and expand your social circle is to say yes to new opportunities to meet others. Accept invitations to parties and social gatherings, take trips to new places, and talk to strangers in cafes, on the bus, at school, on airplanes, etc.\\nWhile meeting strangers may seem intimidating, think of it this way: if you don't know them to begin with, then you really have nothing to lose if things don't work out. On the other hand, you never know when a stranger can turn into your new best friend, business partner, or love interest!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make notes of what people may like.\", \"描述\": \"It is hard to remember what each and every person you have met so far likes or what he or she is interested in. So, when you go home make notes of what this person likes. Research it properly and when you meet them again talk to them about it. You will be surprised by the number of friends you will make by just learning what each one of them is interested in It may seem hard and time consuming at first so start by your classmates or colleges. \\nRemember to not get carried away. For example, do not go as far as stalking the person on social networking sites. Just knowing by how much points did Barcelona won with and the next time they are going to play in a match is enough. Even that person will continue the conversation so you don't have to worry about reaching a dead end.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid people who make you feel insecure about yourself. Rather, be around people who encourage you to progress.\\n\", \"Being positive has a good impact on others.\\n\", \"Don't be afraid to talk to someone new! They just might turn out to be a really close friend. Even though it may make you nervous to talk, just do it before you miss out on someone or something special.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,170 | How to Be Social | 1. Have approachable body language.
When you look more approachable, people will be more likely to talk to you.
One simple way to be more social is to look more approachable to the people you might interact with. If you stand with an open posture, keep your hands at your sides instead of folded across your chest, and make eye contact with people when they talk to you, then you’ll be much more approachable than if you were hunched over, totally absorbed in your cell phone, or fidgeting with the bottom of your sweater. If you have a positive look on your face and a friendly demeanor, then people will be much more likely to think you want to talk to them.
You may have closed-off body language without even knowing it. If you’re shy, then it’s natural for you to retreat into your shell as a way of warding people off. Work on opening up your body little by little, facing people instead of turning away from them, and looking like you want people to talk to you instead of like you want to be left alone.
Just making an effort of smiling more can have a huge impact. If people see you as friendly, they’ll be much more likely to ask you questions or to strike up a conversation with you.
2. Make small talk.
As the saying goes, there’s nothing small about small talk.
You may feel like you’re allergic to talking to people about the weather or the local sports team, but this is the way you can begin to develop a more serious bond and to get to know people on a deeper level. While you may want to jump right into a discussion of whether or not there’s a God or about your complicated relationship with your mother, you’ll need to be able to make more superficial conversation with people before you can get to a deeper level. Don’t think that you’re above small talk or that you have no time for it; instead, think of it as a way of moving towards truly getting to know people. Here are some pointers for making small talk:
Okay, so maybe talking about the weather isn’t the most exciting thing in the world. But you can use the weather to talk about more interesting topics. For example, if someone complains about how the rain has kept them cooped up all weekend, you can ask if they had time to watch something good on TV; use it as an excuse to bring up your favorite movie or TV show.
If a person is wearing an unusual piece of jewelry, you can compliment it and see if there’s a story behind it. Maybe it’ll lead into a discussion of how that person’s grandmother gave it to them, or of how that person got her Murano glass necklace in Italy, which is a place where you’ve been dying to go.
When you make small talk, avoid asking yes or no questions that can cut a conversation short. Instead, ask questions that require a longer answer. Instead of asking, “Did you do anything fun this weekend?” you can ask, “What did you do over the weekend?” so the person has more room to talk.
Avoid asking overly personal questions at first. Stick to the easy topics, such as hobbies, sports, bands, or pets, and wait for the person to open up a bit.
3. Show interest in other people’s lives.
When you listen to other people, they’ll feel valued and want to spend time with you.
People are much more likely to want to socialize with people who are interested in them, instead of people who are just interesting in general. While you can certainly reveal information about yourself, one way to socialize more is to show a real interest in people by asking them questions and showing that you care about their lives. Here are some things you can ask them about:
Their favorite bands, sports teams, movies, or TV shows
Their hobbies or interests outside of work or school
Favorite places that they’ve traveled
If they have any pets
How they like the place where they live
How their interview/basketball game/weekend trip was
Their plans for the weekend, the summer, or the holiday break
4. Embrace new people.
Assume most people have good intentions.
People who have trouble being social are usually afraid, distrustful, or just skeptical about new people. They may think that new people have nothing to offer them and that they are better off sticking to the familiar. Well, you should think that, to new people, you are certainly worth getting to know – and that you’re a new person to somebody. Instead of being skeptical of new people until they prove themselves to you, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. If you approach new people as potential friends instead of potential enemies, you’ll be on your way to being much more social.
If you’re standing around in a group and see someone you don’t know, introduce yourself instead of awkwardly smiling at or looking away from that person. Everyone will be impressed by your initiative.
If you see a new person who doesn’t know anyone, go out of your way to make that person feel comfortable. This is a basic kindness that won’t go unnoticed.
5. Learn to read people.
Understanding people will help you feel more at ease in social settings.
Another way to be social when you talk to people is to learn to read them, even when they are saying the opposite of how they feel. You should become a master at decoding body language, and should be able to tell how a person is feeling just from how that person is standing or by the look on his face when he’s not talking. If someone is telling you that he’s doing fine, but you can see that his eyes are puffy or that his clothes look a bit disheveled, then you may find that he actually needs a helping hand.
To make conversation with people, you should go beyond the surface and try to see what the person is really trying to tell you. If you’re in a group and one person is trying to back away or looking around, then he may be bored and uncomfortable and may need some help.
If you’re talking to someone who keeps checking the time, or shifting from foot to foot, then that person may be late or anxious; it’s okay to say that you see that the person has a lot going on and that you look forward to chatting later.
6. Reach out to your current acquaintances.
Your life is already full of potential amazing friends.
You may think that you have trouble being social because you don’t know a single person worth socializing with or that there’s no one around who would want to hang out with you. That’s where you’re wrong! You may not realize that the girl who sits behind you in math, the guy on your swim team, or even your neighbor, could end up being one of your best friends. Seek out people you know a little bit and ask them to grab a coffee or to hang out in a low-key setting. You’ll soon be on your way to making new friends.
Don’t be shy. Asking someone to hang out in a low-pressure way, such as grabbing coffee or going to an interesting lecture or movie together, isn’t a big deal. You’re not inviting someone to prom or asking them to marry you. It’s just asking for a bit of time.
Think about it: is there someone in your life who seems cool, and who you’re always wishing you knew a little better? What’s the worst that can happen when you approach that person?
7. Find new hobbies or interests.
You can meet new people by jumping into a new hobby.
This can be in your school, at work, or in your community. You can take a yoga class and befriend the person on the mat next to yours. You can join a rec volleyball team and make friends with the people on your team. You can take an art class and find a few people who share your interests. The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to connect with people who interest you.
If you spend more time doing something you care about, you are also more likely to make friends with the people around you because they’ll share your interests. Even if you’re just developing a passion for a new hobby, you may find someone who shares that common bond.
Finding new hobbies or interests will also help you become more social simply because you’ll get in the habit of stepping out of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there more, which is exactly what you need to do to be social.
8. Offer more invitations.
People who are social are always inviting people to hang out with them.
You don’t have to throw a huge party to extend more invitations to people. Don’t be shy about asking people to hang out with you and work on thinking of something you could ask people to do with you. Just smile, extend the invitation, and make it clear that it’s no big deal if the person is too busy to hang out. Here are some ways you can extend invitations for people to hang out with you:
Ask someone in your class to be part of a study group with you
Invite someone you know to do some work in a coffee shop with you
If someone you know shares your love for a certain band or actress, invite that person to a concert or a movie
Ask a coworker to step out for lunch or coffee with you
Organize a happy hour at work
Invite a few people over to watch a popular TV show, such as Orange is the New Black, and order some pizza
Organize an informal softball, basketball, or soccer game
Ask a friend to help you run a poetry reading at your home or in a coffee shop
9. Accept more invitations.
Saying “yes” gives you the opportunity to join other social groups.
Though you shouldn’t hang out with people who make you uncomfortable, you should work on giving people a chance. If someone invites you out to a study session, party, or happy hour, instead of instinctively saying no, you should give it a shot. If you really don’t have a good time there, then you can always leave – no one will be forcing you to stay. Half of success in life comes from just showing up.
If you’re really nervous about accepting an invitation because you’re not quite sure what to expect, try to ask a few questions to get the lay of the land so you feel more comfortable. If you’re invited to a party, see if anyone else you know will be there. If you’re invited to a concert, ask what the venue is like. If you feel like you have more of an idea of what to expect, you’ll be less nervous about the opportunity.
10. Spend more time out of the house.
The more time you spend out in the world, the more likely you’ll be to connect with someone.
Though you may not wander into an instant party the second you step out of the house, you definitely won’t have a chance to be more social if you’re cooped up indoors. Just being outside gives you the chance to strike up a conversation or to meet someone new. Instead of studying at home, go to a coffee shop, where you might start a conversation with the person sitting next to you. Going out to grab some tea or lunch will give you the opportunity to run into someone you know, and to sit down together for a few minutes.
Just being out in the world will help you form a habit of being around other people. The more time you spend around other people, the more you’ll get used to greeting people, making small talk, and alleviating any social anxiety you may have.
Also, just being out in the world, getting some sunlight and fresh air, will make you feel less isolated and more likely to connect with other people. It can be hard to socialize when you’re used to being on your own.
11. Get more involved at your workplace or school.
Build up your existing connections.
If you have a job, try to get involved in organizing happy hours, holiday parties, work volunteering events, or Sunday softball leagues. There should be a committee you can join or an event that you can help run, which should help you get to know more people. As far as school goes, joining the newspaper, yearbook, student council, or soccer or tennis team can also help you feel more involved and to get to know more people.
Even if doing these things doesn’t help you instantly make a best friend, it’ll help you learn to work closely with other people, to be part of a team, and to have daily social interactions with people.
You don’t have to run for president if you join the student council. Start small, and join the school spirit committee or another aspect of the organization that can help you have an impact without being in the spotlight.
12. Avoid building all of your social connections on the Internet.
Online community can’t always be a substitute for in-person interaction.
If you’re part of a meaningful online community where you truly exchange ideas with people who share your interests, that’s great. But if you’re the kind of person who spends hours on Facebook, g-chat, Twitter, or other forms of social media or interaction without actually talking to anyone in person, then you may have a problem. Though having someone like your photo or posting a comment on someone’s Facebook wall can bring you some momentary joy, it won’t substitute having a meaningful interaction with someone in-person.
In fact, socializing too much on social media can hold you back from having real interactions in person; avoid using social media as a crutch and spend more time talking to people face-to-face.
You can use Facebook to be in touch with people, but make sure you message them to hang out in person, use it to invite people to real events, and generally make an effort to meet up with people outside of the Internet. Otherwise, you won’t be truly socializing – you’ll only be taking superficial measures to feel connected with people.
13. Give yourself time to come out of your shell.
You might have to go beyond the surface to really make relationships last.
The key here is that this part takes time, and that even social butterflies may not make meaningful connections all the time. The important thing is that you give yourself time to open up and to come out of your shell instead of expecting that you’ll have five BFFs after a month. Have patience with yourself and the people around you and know that it will take a while to build meaningful friendships.
First, you may just be at the acquaintance level with someone, and after a few cups of coffee or a lunch date, you may call that person your friend. After a few months, you may start to really open up to each other, and soon enough, that person will be one of your nearest and dearest. But if you rush the relationship, it may fizzle out; instead, expect that it’ll take some time to make true friends.
14. Stay in touch with people.
Keep up your connections and friendships once you’ve built them.
Sure, making small talk and going to a few parties can help you get to know people, but if you want to stay friends, you can’t just fall off the grid. If you turn down three or four invitations from someone, then that person may give up on you. If you don’t answer your phone or respond to text messages, then your relationships will fizzle out. However, if you make an effort to check in with your friends at least once a week, to make plans routinely, and to let people know you’re thinking of them, then you’ll be on your way to making real social bonds.
Though you don’t have to always be around, you don’t want to develop a reputation for being a flake, either. If you want to build real relationships with people, then they have to feel like they can depend on you.
15. Put dates on your calendar.
Fill your calendar with social endeavors to prioritize social time.
Now, you don’t have to force yourself to hang out with people every day of the week, but you should make plans at least once or twice a week so you maintain a social life. Just saying that you’ll be at a party or concert and putting it on your calendar can go a long way in making you feel like your social life is developing in a meaningful way. Once the dates are down on your calendar, you’ve made a commitment, and it’s important to stick to it.
If you’re having a really busy week, then see if you can combine a social situation with something you have to do. Maybe invite a friend to study for your history exam with you or ask her to join you in the weekly yoga class you’ve committed to.
Of course, it’s equally important to make time for yourself. If you’re naturally introverted or have trouble being social, then you can’t go from being alone all the time to hanging out with a million friends all the time without difficulty. Make sure you make time for “me time” and that you don’t sacrifice it for anything.
16. Aim for quality over quantity.
Find the people who really matter to you and commit to spending time with them.
You may think that being social means talking to a million people all day and all night. In reality, it’s more important to be social with a few people you really care about regularly instead of filling your life with a bunch of people that don’t really matter to you. Just a handful of good friends can go a long way in making you feel less alone and more outgoing.
Of course, hanging out in big groups can be fun every once in a while. You can mix that up with more intimate, one-on-one sessions with the people who are close to you.
17. Be a good listener.
Another way to develop closer social bonds is to learn to truly listen to people.
This means putting away your phone and other distractions when someone is talking to you, making eye contact, and not interrupting the person who is trying to tell you something. It also means remembering what the person told you so you can follow up on it later. Just sitting down with someone you care about and giving that person your time will show him or her that you’re a friend who is worth keeping.
If your friend is talking to you about a struggle she’s having, try not to compare her life to yours too much or it’ll minimize the problem. Instead, take her situation at its own face value and use your experiences to provide advice.
If your friend tells you that he or she has something important coming up, then you should check in before the event happens to wish him or her luck, or ask how it went. This shows that you listen and you care.
In general, aim to listen more than you talk during conversations.
18. Show people how much they mean to you.
Demonstrating that you care lets you go beyond the superficial social connections.
This means taking the time to thank your friends for doing you favors or just letting that person know how much his or her friendship means to you. Though you may feel shy about letting people know how much you appreciate them, making this effort can go a long way in helping you develop long-lasting and important social bonds.
You can do a favor for your friend, such as picking up coffee or lunch for her, to show how much she means to you.
Don’t think that thank you cards are outdated. Writing one for a friend who has helped you out can really make a difference.
Give your friends love, positivity, and compliments. Tell them why they’re awesome, from complimenting their sense of humor to their ability to listen.
19. Let go of your fear of rejection.
All of us face rejection at some point, but you can get through it!
One of the reasons that people can tend to feel antisocial is because they’re afraid of being rejected if they make an effort to hang out with people. Sure, this can happen, and we’ve all felt the sting of trying to chat with someone only to have that person be rude or turn away. But don’t let this fear stop you from saying hi to people, inviting people to hang out with you, or trying to make small talk with someone you don’t know very well. The fact of the matter is, most people are pretty kind once you give them a chance; as for the people who may not warm to your attempts at conversation, they’re not worth it anyway.
Though it may sound corny, you never know until you try. If you try to hang out with someone and they turn you down, then you’re no worse off than you were before. However, if that person wants to hang out with you, then you’re on the way to gaining a friend. There are far more benefits to trying to hang out with someone than drawbacks, so what’s the harm in trying?
If you face rejection from time to time, you’ll only be working on developing maturity and thick skin; life is all about how you respond to rejection, instead of trying to avoid it.
Just take a deep breath, relax, and remind yourself that the worst that can happen when you try to be social is that the person doesn’t want to be social back. Is that really a tragedy? It may feel like one, but in the scheme of things, someone turning you down will only be a minor setback.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Have approachable body language.\\nWhen you look more approachable, people will be more likely to talk to you.\\nOne simple way to be more social is to look more approachable to the people you might interact with. If you stand with an open posture, keep your hands at your sides instead of folded across your chest, and make eye contact with people when they talk to you, then you’ll be much more approachable than if you were hunched over, totally absorbed in your cell phone, or fidgeting with the bottom of your sweater. If you have a positive look on your face and a friendly demeanor, then people will be much more likely to think you want to talk to them.\\nYou may have closed-off body language without even knowing it. If you’re shy, then it’s natural for you to retreat into your shell as a way of warding people off. Work on opening up your body little by little, facing people instead of turning away from them, and looking like you want people to talk to you instead of like you want to be left alone.\\nJust making an effort of smiling more can have a huge impact. If people see you as friendly, they’ll be much more likely to ask you questions or to strike up a conversation with you.\\n2. Make small talk.\\nAs the saying goes, there’s nothing small about small talk.\\nYou may feel like you’re allergic to talking to people about the weather or the local sports team, but this is the way you can begin to develop a more serious bond and to get to know people on a deeper level. While you may want to jump right into a discussion of whether or not there’s a God or about your complicated relationship with your mother, you’ll need to be able to make more superficial conversation with people before you can get to a deeper level. Don’t think that you’re above small talk or that you have no time for it; instead, think of it as a way of moving towards truly getting to know people. Here are some pointers for making small talk:\\nOkay, so maybe talking about the weather isn’t the most exciting thing in the world. But you can use the weather to talk about more interesting topics. For example, if someone complains about how the rain has kept them cooped up all weekend, you can ask if they had time to watch something good on TV; use it as an excuse to bring up your favorite movie or TV show.\\nIf a person is wearing an unusual piece of jewelry, you can compliment it and see if there’s a story behind it. Maybe it’ll lead into a discussion of how that person’s grandmother gave it to them, or of how that person got her Murano glass necklace in Italy, which is a place where you’ve been dying to go.\\nWhen you make small talk, avoid asking yes or no questions that can cut a conversation short. Instead, ask questions that require a longer answer. Instead of asking, “Did you do anything fun this weekend?” you can ask, “What did you do over the weekend?” so the person has more room to talk.\\nAvoid asking overly personal questions at first. Stick to the easy topics, such as hobbies, sports, bands, or pets, and wait for the person to open up a bit.\\n3. Show interest in other people’s lives.\\nWhen you listen to other people, they’ll feel valued and want to spend time with you.\\nPeople are much more likely to want to socialize with people who are interested in them, instead of people who are just interesting in general. While you can certainly reveal information about yourself, one way to socialize more is to show a real interest in people by asking them questions and showing that you care about their lives. Here are some things you can ask them about:\\nTheir favorite bands, sports teams, movies, or TV shows\\nTheir hobbies or interests outside of work or school\\nFavorite places that they’ve traveled\\nIf they have any pets\\nHow they like the place where they live\\nHow their interview/basketball game/weekend trip was\\nTheir plans for the weekend, the summer, or the holiday break\\n4. Embrace new people.\\nAssume most people have good intentions.\\nPeople who have trouble being social are usually afraid, distrustful, or just skeptical about new people. They may think that new people have nothing to offer them and that they are better off sticking to the familiar. Well, you should think that, to new people, you are certainly worth getting to know – and that you’re a new person to somebody. Instead of being skeptical of new people until they prove themselves to you, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. If you approach new people as potential friends instead of potential enemies, you’ll be on your way to being much more social.\\nIf you’re standing around in a group and see someone you don’t know, introduce yourself instead of awkwardly smiling at or looking away from that person. Everyone will be impressed by your initiative.\\nIf you see a new person who doesn’t know anyone, go out of your way to make that person feel comfortable. This is a basic kindness that won’t go unnoticed.\\n5. Learn to read people.\\nUnderstanding people will help you feel more at ease in social settings.\\nAnother way to be social when you talk to people is to learn to read them, even when they are saying the opposite of how they feel. You should become a master at decoding body language, and should be able to tell how a person is feeling just from how that person is standing or by the look on his face when he’s not talking. If someone is telling you that he’s doing fine, but you can see that his eyes are puffy or that his clothes look a bit disheveled, then you may find that he actually needs a helping hand.\\nTo make conversation with people, you should go beyond the surface and try to see what the person is really trying to tell you. If you’re in a group and one person is trying to back away or looking around, then he may be bored and uncomfortable and may need some help.\\nIf you’re talking to someone who keeps checking the time, or shifting from foot to foot, then that person may be late or anxious; it’s okay to say that you see that the person has a lot going on and that you look forward to chatting later.\\n6. Reach out to your current acquaintances.\\nYour life is already full of potential amazing friends.\\nYou may think that you have trouble being social because you don’t know a single person worth socializing with or that there’s no one around who would want to hang out with you. That’s where you’re wrong! You may not realize that the girl who sits behind you in math, the guy on your swim team, or even your neighbor, could end up being one of your best friends. Seek out people you know a little bit and ask them to grab a coffee or to hang out in a low-key setting. You’ll soon be on your way to making new friends.\\nDon’t be shy. Asking someone to hang out in a low-pressure way, such as grabbing coffee or going to an interesting lecture or movie together, isn’t a big deal. You’re not inviting someone to prom or asking them to marry you. It’s just asking for a bit of time.\\nThink about it: is there someone in your life who seems cool, and who you’re always wishing you knew a little better? What’s the worst that can happen when you approach that person?\\n7. Find new hobbies or interests.\\nYou can meet new people by jumping into a new hobby.\\nThis can be in your school, at work, or in your community. You can take a yoga class and befriend the person on the mat next to yours. You can join a rec volleyball team and make friends with the people on your team. You can take an art class and find a few people who share your interests. The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to connect with people who interest you.\\nIf you spend more time doing something you care about, you are also more likely to make friends with the people around you because they’ll share your interests. Even if you’re just developing a passion for a new hobby, you may find someone who shares that common bond.\\nFinding new hobbies or interests will also help you become more social simply because you’ll get in the habit of stepping out of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there more, which is exactly what you need to do to be social.\\n8. Offer more invitations.\\nPeople who are social are always inviting people to hang out with them.\\nYou don’t have to throw a huge party to extend more invitations to people. Don’t be shy about asking people to hang out with you and work on thinking of something you could ask people to do with you. Just smile, extend the invitation, and make it clear that it’s no big deal if the person is too busy to hang out. Here are some ways you can extend invitations for people to hang out with you:\\nAsk someone in your class to be part of a study group with you\\nInvite someone you know to do some work in a coffee shop with you\\nIf someone you know shares your love for a certain band or actress, invite that person to a concert or a movie\\nAsk a coworker to step out for lunch or coffee with you\\nOrganize a happy hour at work\\nInvite a few people over to watch a popular TV show, such as Orange is the New Black, and order some pizza\\nOrganize an informal softball, basketball, or soccer game\\nAsk a friend to help you run a poetry reading at your home or in a coffee shop\\n9. Accept more invitations.\\nSaying “yes” gives you the opportunity to join other social groups.\\nThough you shouldn’t hang out with people who make you uncomfortable, you should work on giving people a chance. If someone invites you out to a study session, party, or happy hour, instead of instinctively saying no, you should give it a shot. If you really don’t have a good time there, then you can always leave – no one will be forcing you to stay. Half of success in life comes from just showing up.\\nIf you’re really nervous about accepting an invitation because you’re not quite sure what to expect, try to ask a few questions to get the lay of the land so you feel more comfortable. If you’re invited to a party, see if anyone else you know will be there. If you’re invited to a concert, ask what the venue is like. If you feel like you have more of an idea of what to expect, you’ll be less nervous about the opportunity.\\n10. Spend more time out of the house.\\nThe more time you spend out in the world, the more likely you’ll be to connect with someone.\\nThough you may not wander into an instant party the second you step out of the house, you definitely won’t have a chance to be more social if you’re cooped up indoors. Just being outside gives you the chance to strike up a conversation or to meet someone new. Instead of studying at home, go to a coffee shop, where you might start a conversation with the person sitting next to you. Going out to grab some tea or lunch will give you the opportunity to run into someone you know, and to sit down together for a few minutes.\\nJust being out in the world will help you form a habit of being around other people. The more time you spend around other people, the more you’ll get used to greeting people, making small talk, and alleviating any social anxiety you may have.\\nAlso, just being out in the world, getting some sunlight and fresh air, will make you feel less isolated and more likely to connect with other people. It can be hard to socialize when you’re used to being on your own.\\n11. Get more involved at your workplace or school.\\nBuild up your existing connections.\\nIf you have a job, try to get involved in organizing happy hours, holiday parties, work volunteering events, or Sunday softball leagues. There should be a committee you can join or an event that you can help run, which should help you get to know more people. As far as school goes, joining the newspaper, yearbook, student council, or soccer or tennis team can also help you feel more involved and to get to know more people.\\nEven if doing these things doesn’t help you instantly make a best friend, it’ll help you learn to work closely with other people, to be part of a team, and to have daily social interactions with people.\\nYou don’t have to run for president if you join the student council. Start small, and join the school spirit committee or another aspect of the organization that can help you have an impact without being in the spotlight.\\n12. Avoid building all of your social connections on the Internet.\\nOnline community can’t always be a substitute for in-person interaction.\\nIf you’re part of a meaningful online community where you truly exchange ideas with people who share your interests, that’s great. But if you’re the kind of person who spends hours on Facebook, g-chat, Twitter, or other forms of social media or interaction without actually talking to anyone in person, then you may have a problem. Though having someone like your photo or posting a comment on someone’s Facebook wall can bring you some momentary joy, it won’t substitute having a meaningful interaction with someone in-person.\\nIn fact, socializing too much on social media can hold you back from having real interactions in person; avoid using social media as a crutch and spend more time talking to people face-to-face.\\nYou can use Facebook to be in touch with people, but make sure you message them to hang out in person, use it to invite people to real events, and generally make an effort to meet up with people outside of the Internet. Otherwise, you won’t be truly socializing – you’ll only be taking superficial measures to feel connected with people.\\n13. Give yourself time to come out of your shell.\\nYou might have to go beyond the surface to really make relationships last.\\nThe key here is that this part takes time, and that even social butterflies may not make meaningful connections all the time. The important thing is that you give yourself time to open up and to come out of your shell instead of expecting that you’ll have five BFFs after a month. Have patience with yourself and the people around you and know that it will take a while to build meaningful friendships.\\nFirst, you may just be at the acquaintance level with someone, and after a few cups of coffee or a lunch date, you may call that person your friend. After a few months, you may start to really open up to each other, and soon enough, that person will be one of your nearest and dearest. But if you rush the relationship, it may fizzle out; instead, expect that it’ll take some time to make true friends.\\n14. Stay in touch with people.\\nKeep up your connections and friendships once you’ve built them.\\nSure, making small talk and going to a few parties can help you get to know people, but if you want to stay friends, you can’t just fall off the grid. If you turn down three or four invitations from someone, then that person may give up on you. If you don’t answer your phone or respond to text messages, then your relationships will fizzle out. However, if you make an effort to check in with your friends at least once a week, to make plans routinely, and to let people know you’re thinking of them, then you’ll be on your way to making real social bonds.\\nThough you don’t have to always be around, you don’t want to develop a reputation for being a flake, either. If you want to build real relationships with people, then they have to feel like they can depend on you.\\n15. Put dates on your calendar.\\nFill your calendar with social endeavors to prioritize social time.\\nNow, you don’t have to force yourself to hang out with people every day of the week, but you should make plans at least once or twice a week so you maintain a social life. Just saying that you’ll be at a party or concert and putting it on your calendar can go a long way in making you feel like your social life is developing in a meaningful way. Once the dates are down on your calendar, you’ve made a commitment, and it’s important to stick to it.\\nIf you’re having a really busy week, then see if you can combine a social situation with something you have to do. Maybe invite a friend to study for your history exam with you or ask her to join you in the weekly yoga class you’ve committed to.\\nOf course, it’s equally important to make time for yourself. If you’re naturally introverted or have trouble being social, then you can’t go from being alone all the time to hanging out with a million friends all the time without difficulty. Make sure you make time for “me time” and that you don’t sacrifice it for anything.\\n16. Aim for quality over quantity.\\nFind the people who really matter to you and commit to spending time with them.\\nYou may think that being social means talking to a million people all day and all night. In reality, it’s more important to be social with a few people you really care about regularly instead of filling your life with a bunch of people that don’t really matter to you. Just a handful of good friends can go a long way in making you feel less alone and more outgoing.\\nOf course, hanging out in big groups can be fun every once in a while. You can mix that up with more intimate, one-on-one sessions with the people who are close to you.\\n17. Be a good listener.\\nAnother way to develop closer social bonds is to learn to truly listen to people.\\nThis means putting away your phone and other distractions when someone is talking to you, making eye contact, and not interrupting the person who is trying to tell you something. It also means remembering what the person told you so you can follow up on it later. Just sitting down with someone you care about and giving that person your time will show him or her that you’re a friend who is worth keeping.\\nIf your friend is talking to you about a struggle she’s having, try not to compare her life to yours too much or it’ll minimize the problem. Instead, take her situation at its own face value and use your experiences to provide advice.\\nIf your friend tells you that he or she has something important coming up, then you should check in before the event happens to wish him or her luck, or ask how it went. This shows that you listen and you care.\\nIn general, aim to listen more than you talk during conversations.\\n18. Show people how much they mean to you.\\nDemonstrating that you care lets you go beyond the superficial social connections.\\nThis means taking the time to thank your friends for doing you favors or just letting that person know how much his or her friendship means to you. Though you may feel shy about letting people know how much you appreciate them, making this effort can go a long way in helping you develop long-lasting and important social bonds.\\nYou can do a favor for your friend, such as picking up coffee or lunch for her, to show how much she means to you.\\nDon’t think that thank you cards are outdated. Writing one for a friend who has helped you out can really make a difference.\\nGive your friends love, positivity, and compliments. Tell them why they’re awesome, from complimenting their sense of humor to their ability to listen.\\n19. Let go of your fear of rejection.\\nAll of us face rejection at some point, but you can get through it!\\nOne of the reasons that people can tend to feel antisocial is because they’re afraid of being rejected if they make an effort to hang out with people. Sure, this can happen, and we’ve all felt the sting of trying to chat with someone only to have that person be rude or turn away. But don’t let this fear stop you from saying hi to people, inviting people to hang out with you, or trying to make small talk with someone you don’t know very well. The fact of the matter is, most people are pretty kind once you give them a chance; as for the people who may not warm to your attempts at conversation, they’re not worth it anyway.\\nThough it may sound corny, you never know until you try. If you try to hang out with someone and they turn you down, then you’re no worse off than you were before. However, if that person wants to hang out with you, then you’re on the way to gaining a friend. There are far more benefits to trying to hang out with someone than drawbacks, so what’s the harm in trying?\\nIf you face rejection from time to time, you’ll only be working on developing maturity and thick skin; life is all about how you respond to rejection, instead of trying to avoid it.\\nJust take a deep breath, relax, and remind yourself that the worst that can happen when you try to be social is that the person doesn’t want to be social back. Is that really a tragedy? It may feel like one, but in the scheme of things, someone turning you down will only be a minor setback.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being social can help you build meaningful connections, come out of your shell, and feel less isolated. You don't even have to be a social butterfly in order to talk to people. All you need is good instincts, confidence, and some basic conversational skills. Once you're comfortable talking to people, you can work on making plans with them and spending more time socializing. If you want to know how to be social, see Step 1 to be on your way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have approachable body language.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you look more approachable, people will be more likely to talk to you.\", \"描述\": \"One simple way to be more social is to look more approachable to the people you might interact with. If you stand with an open posture, keep your hands at your sides instead of folded across your chest, and make eye contact with people when they talk to you, then you’ll be much more approachable than if you were hunched over, totally absorbed in your cell phone, or fidgeting with the bottom of your sweater. If you have a positive look on your face and a friendly demeanor, then people will be much more likely to think you want to talk to them.\\nYou may have closed-off body language without even knowing it. If you’re shy, then it’s natural for you to retreat into your shell as a way of warding people off. Work on opening up your body little by little, facing people instead of turning away from them, and looking like you want people to talk to you instead of like you want to be left alone.\\nJust making an effort of smiling more can have a huge impact. If people see you as friendly, they’ll be much more likely to ask you questions or to strike up a conversation with you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make small talk.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"As the saying goes, there’s nothing small about small talk.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel like you’re allergic to talking to people about the weather or the local sports team, but this is the way you can begin to develop a more serious bond and to get to know people on a deeper level. While you may want to jump right into a discussion of whether or not there’s a God or about your complicated relationship with your mother, you’ll need to be able to make more superficial conversation with people before you can get to a deeper level. Don’t think that you’re above small talk or that you have no time for it; instead, think of it as a way of moving towards truly getting to know people. Here are some pointers for making small talk:\\nOkay, so maybe talking about the weather isn’t the most exciting thing in the world. But you can use the weather to talk about more interesting topics. For example, if someone complains about how the rain has kept them cooped up all weekend, you can ask if they had time to watch something good on TV; use it as an excuse to bring up your favorite movie or TV show.\\nIf a person is wearing an unusual piece of jewelry, you can compliment it and see if there’s a story behind it. Maybe it’ll lead into a discussion of how that person’s grandmother gave it to them, or of how that person got her Murano glass necklace in Italy, which is a place where you’ve been dying to go.\\nWhen you make small talk, avoid asking yes or no questions that can cut a conversation short. Instead, ask questions that require a longer answer. Instead of asking, “Did you do anything fun this weekend?” you can ask, “What did you do over the weekend?” so the person has more room to talk.\\nAvoid asking overly personal questions at first. Stick to the easy topics, such as hobbies, sports, bands, or pets, and wait for the person to open up a bit.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show interest in other people’s lives.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you listen to other people, they’ll feel valued and want to spend time with you.\", \"描述\": \"People are much more likely to want to socialize with people who are interested in them, instead of people who are just interesting in general. While you can certainly reveal information about yourself, one way to socialize more is to show a real interest in people by asking them questions and showing that you care about their lives. Here are some things you can ask them about:\\nTheir favorite bands, sports teams, movies, or TV shows\\nTheir hobbies or interests outside of work or school\\nFavorite places that they’ve traveled\\nIf they have any pets\\nHow they like the place where they live\\nHow their interview/basketball game/weekend trip was\\nTheir plans for the weekend, the summer, or the holiday break\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Embrace new people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assume most people have good intentions.\", \"描述\": \"People who have trouble being social are usually afraid, distrustful, or just skeptical about new people. They may think that new people have nothing to offer them and that they are better off sticking to the familiar. Well, you should think that, to new people, you are certainly worth getting to know – and that you’re a new person to somebody. Instead of being skeptical of new people until they prove themselves to you, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. If you approach new people as potential friends instead of potential enemies, you’ll be on your way to being much more social.\\nIf you’re standing around in a group and see someone you don’t know, introduce yourself instead of awkwardly smiling at or looking away from that person. Everyone will be impressed by your initiative.\\nIf you see a new person who doesn’t know anyone, go out of your way to make that person feel comfortable. This is a basic kindness that won’t go unnoticed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to read people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding people will help you feel more at ease in social settings.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be social when you talk to people is to learn to read them, even when they are saying the opposite of how they feel. You should become a master at decoding body language, and should be able to tell how a person is feeling just from how that person is standing or by the look on his face when he’s not talking. If someone is telling you that he’s doing fine, but you can see that his eyes are puffy or that his clothes look a bit disheveled, then you may find that he actually needs a helping hand.\\nTo make conversation with people, you should go beyond the surface and try to see what the person is really trying to tell you. If you’re in a group and one person is trying to back away or looking around, then he may be bored and uncomfortable and may need some help.\\nIf you’re talking to someone who keeps checking the time, or shifting from foot to foot, then that person may be late or anxious; it’s okay to say that you see that the person has a lot going on and that you look forward to chatting later.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reach out to your current acquaintances.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your life is already full of potential amazing friends.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that you have trouble being social because you don’t know a single person worth socializing with or that there’s no one around who would want to hang out with you. That’s where you’re wrong! You may not realize that the girl who sits behind you in math, the guy on your swim team, or even your neighbor, could end up being one of your best friends. Seek out people you know a little bit and ask them to grab a coffee or to hang out in a low-key setting. You’ll soon be on your way to making new friends.\\nDon’t be shy. Asking someone to hang out in a low-pressure way, such as grabbing coffee or going to an interesting lecture or movie together, isn’t a big deal. You’re not inviting someone to prom or asking them to marry you. It’s just asking for a bit of time.\\nThink about it: is there someone in your life who seems cool, and who you’re always wishing you knew a little better? What’s the worst that can happen when you approach that person?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Find new hobbies or interests.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can meet new people by jumping into a new hobby.\", \"描述\": \"This can be in your school, at work, or in your community. You can take a yoga class and befriend the person on the mat next to yours. You can join a rec volleyball team and make friends with the people on your team. You can take an art class and find a few people who share your interests. The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to connect with people who interest you.\\nIf you spend more time doing something you care about, you are also more likely to make friends with the people around you because they’ll share your interests. Even if you’re just developing a passion for a new hobby, you may find someone who shares that common bond.\\nFinding new hobbies or interests will also help you become more social simply because you’ll get in the habit of stepping out of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there more, which is exactly what you need to do to be social.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Offer more invitations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"People who are social are always inviting people to hang out with them.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to throw a huge party to extend more invitations to people. Don’t be shy about asking people to hang out with you and work on thinking of something you could ask people to do with you. Just smile, extend the invitation, and make it clear that it’s no big deal if the person is too busy to hang out. Here are some ways you can extend invitations for people to hang out with you:\\nAsk someone in your class to be part of a study group with you\\nInvite someone you know to do some work in a coffee shop with you\\nIf someone you know shares your love for a certain band or actress, invite that person to a concert or a movie\\nAsk a coworker to step out for lunch or coffee with you\\nOrganize a happy hour at work\\nInvite a few people over to watch a popular TV show, such as Orange is the New Black, and order some pizza\\nOrganize an informal softball, basketball, or soccer game\\nAsk a friend to help you run a poetry reading at your home or in a coffee shop\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Accept more invitations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Saying “yes” gives you the opportunity to join other social groups.\", \"描述\": \"Though you shouldn’t hang out with people who make you uncomfortable, you should work on giving people a chance. If someone invites you out to a study session, party, or happy hour, instead of instinctively saying no, you should give it a shot. If you really don’t have a good time there, then you can always leave – no one will be forcing you to stay. Half of success in life comes from just showing up.\\nIf you’re really nervous about accepting an invitation because you’re not quite sure what to expect, try to ask a few questions to get the lay of the land so you feel more comfortable. If you’re invited to a party, see if anyone else you know will be there. If you’re invited to a concert, ask what the venue is like. If you feel like you have more of an idea of what to expect, you’ll be less nervous about the opportunity.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Spend more time out of the house.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The more time you spend out in the world, the more likely you’ll be to connect with someone.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may not wander into an instant party the second you step out of the house, you definitely won’t have a chance to be more social if you’re cooped up indoors. Just being outside gives you the chance to strike up a conversation or to meet someone new. Instead of studying at home, go to a coffee shop, where you might start a conversation with the person sitting next to you. Going out to grab some tea or lunch will give you the opportunity to run into someone you know, and to sit down together for a few minutes.\\nJust being out in the world will help you form a habit of being around other people. The more time you spend around other people, the more you’ll get used to greeting people, making small talk, and alleviating any social anxiety you may have.\\nAlso, just being out in the world, getting some sunlight and fresh air, will make you feel less isolated and more likely to connect with other people. It can be hard to socialize when you’re used to being on your own.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Get more involved at your workplace or school.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build up your existing connections.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a job, try to get involved in organizing happy hours, holiday parties, work volunteering events, or Sunday softball leagues. There should be a committee you can join or an event that you can help run, which should help you get to know more people. As far as school goes, joining the newspaper, yearbook, student council, or soccer or tennis team can also help you feel more involved and to get to know more people.\\nEven if doing these things doesn’t help you instantly make a best friend, it’ll help you learn to work closely with other people, to be part of a team, and to have daily social interactions with people.\\nYou don’t have to run for president if you join the student council. Start small, and join the school spirit committee or another aspect of the organization that can help you have an impact without being in the spotlight.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Avoid building all of your social connections on the Internet.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Online community can’t always be a substitute for in-person interaction.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re part of a meaningful online community where you truly exchange ideas with people who share your interests, that’s great. But if you’re the kind of person who spends hours on Facebook, g-chat, Twitter, or other forms of social media or interaction without actually talking to anyone in person, then you may have a problem. Though having someone like your photo or posting a comment on someone’s Facebook wall can bring you some momentary joy, it won’t substitute having a meaningful interaction with someone in-person.\\nIn fact, socializing too much on social media can hold you back from having real interactions in person; avoid using social media as a crutch and spend more time talking to people face-to-face.\\nYou can use Facebook to be in touch with people, but make sure you message them to hang out in person, use it to invite people to real events, and generally make an effort to meet up with people outside of the Internet. Otherwise, you won’t be truly socializing – you’ll only be taking superficial measures to feel connected with people.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time to come out of your shell.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You might have to go beyond the surface to really make relationships last.\", \"描述\": \"The key here is that this part takes time, and that even social butterflies may not make meaningful connections all the time. The important thing is that you give yourself time to open up and to come out of your shell instead of expecting that you’ll have five BFFs after a month. Have patience with yourself and the people around you and know that it will take a while to build meaningful friendships.\\nFirst, you may just be at the acquaintance level with someone, and after a few cups of coffee or a lunch date, you may call that person your friend. After a few months, you may start to really open up to each other, and soon enough, that person will be one of your nearest and dearest. But if you rush the relationship, it may fizzle out; instead, expect that it’ll take some time to make true friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Stay in touch with people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep up your connections and friendships once you’ve built them.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, making small talk and going to a few parties can help you get to know people, but if you want to stay friends, you can’t just fall off the grid. If you turn down three or four invitations from someone, then that person may give up on you. If you don’t answer your phone or respond to text messages, then your relationships will fizzle out. However, if you make an effort to check in with your friends at least once a week, to make plans routinely, and to let people know you’re thinking of them, then you’ll be on your way to making real social bonds.\\nThough you don’t have to always be around, you don’t want to develop a reputation for being a flake, either. If you want to build real relationships with people, then they have to feel like they can depend on you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Put dates on your calendar.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fill your calendar with social endeavors to prioritize social time.\", \"描述\": \"Now, you don’t have to force yourself to hang out with people every day of the week, but you should make plans at least once or twice a week so you maintain a social life. Just saying that you’ll be at a party or concert and putting it on your calendar can go a long way in making you feel like your social life is developing in a meaningful way. Once the dates are down on your calendar, you’ve made a commitment, and it’s important to stick to it.\\nIf you’re having a really busy week, then see if you can combine a social situation with something you have to do. Maybe invite a friend to study for your history exam with you or ask her to join you in the weekly yoga class you’ve committed to.\\nOf course, it’s equally important to make time for yourself. If you’re naturally introverted or have trouble being social, then you can’t go from being alone all the time to hanging out with a million friends all the time without difficulty. Make sure you make time for “me time” and that you don’t sacrifice it for anything.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Aim for quality over quantity.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find the people who really matter to you and commit to spending time with them.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that being social means talking to a million people all day and all night. In reality, it’s more important to be social with a few people you really care about regularly instead of filling your life with a bunch of people that don’t really matter to you. Just a handful of good friends can go a long way in making you feel less alone and more outgoing.\\nOf course, hanging out in big groups can be fun every once in a while. You can mix that up with more intimate, one-on-one sessions with the people who are close to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Be a good listener.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Another way to develop closer social bonds is to learn to truly listen to people.\", \"描述\": \"This means putting away your phone and other distractions when someone is talking to you, making eye contact, and not interrupting the person who is trying to tell you something. It also means remembering what the person told you so you can follow up on it later. Just sitting down with someone you care about and giving that person your time will show him or her that you’re a friend who is worth keeping.\\nIf your friend is talking to you about a struggle she’s having, try not to compare her life to yours too much or it’ll minimize the problem. Instead, take her situation at its own face value and use your experiences to provide advice.\\nIf your friend tells you that he or she has something important coming up, then you should check in before the event happens to wish him or her luck, or ask how it went. This shows that you listen and you care.\\nIn general, aim to listen more than you talk during conversations.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 18, \"标题\": \"Show people how much they mean to you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Demonstrating that you care lets you go beyond the superficial social connections.\", \"描述\": \"This means taking the time to thank your friends for doing you favors or just letting that person know how much his or her friendship means to you. Though you may feel shy about letting people know how much you appreciate them, making this effort can go a long way in helping you develop long-lasting and important social bonds.\\nYou can do a favor for your friend, such as picking up coffee or lunch for her, to show how much she means to you.\\nDon’t think that thank you cards are outdated. Writing one for a friend who has helped you out can really make a difference.\\nGive your friends love, positivity, and compliments. Tell them why they’re awesome, from complimenting their sense of humor to their ability to listen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 19, \"标题\": \"Let go of your fear of rejection.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"All of us face rejection at some point, but you can get through it!\", \"描述\": \"One of the reasons that people can tend to feel antisocial is because they’re afraid of being rejected if they make an effort to hang out with people. Sure, this can happen, and we’ve all felt the sting of trying to chat with someone only to have that person be rude or turn away. But don’t let this fear stop you from saying hi to people, inviting people to hang out with you, or trying to make small talk with someone you don’t know very well. The fact of the matter is, most people are pretty kind once you give them a chance; as for the people who may not warm to your attempts at conversation, they’re not worth it anyway.\\nThough it may sound corny, you never know until you try. If you try to hang out with someone and they turn you down, then you’re no worse off than you were before. However, if that person wants to hang out with you, then you’re on the way to gaining a friend. There are far more benefits to trying to hang out with someone than drawbacks, so what’s the harm in trying?\\nIf you face rejection from time to time, you’ll only be working on developing maturity and thick skin; life is all about how you respond to rejection, instead of trying to avoid it.\\nJust take a deep breath, relax, and remind yourself that the worst that can happen when you try to be social is that the person doesn’t want to be social back. Is that really a tragedy? It may feel like one, but in the scheme of things, someone turning you down will only be a minor setback.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,171 | How to Be Social at a Party | 1. Making New Friends
1-1. Look approachable
If people are avoiding you or not coming up to talk to you, assess your body language. Notice if you’re crossing your body and try to uncross your arms and legs. If you’re looking down (or on your phone), look up and try to make eye contact with other people. Smile and look friendly.
If you appear open and friendly, people are more likely to approach you.
Stand near the action of the room. If you're standing far from the crowd, it may be harder for people to approach you.
1-2. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know.
Find someone you don’t know and introduce yourself. Keep it simple and don’t overthink it. Once you know each other’s names, you can start a conversation or find things you have in common.
For example, go up to someone and say, “Hi, I’m Liv. What’s your name?”
1-3. Ask questions to get to know people better.
Asking questions shows that you’re interested and engaged in conversation. Make a point to ask open-ended questions so that the person can elaborate on their answers and build on the conversation. You’ll get to know each other better and keep the conversation going.
Ask questions such as, “How did you end up in Los Angeles?” and, “What kinds of things do you do for fun?”
1-4. Talk to new people as they arrive.
Meeting new people is easy if you’re the first person they interact with once they get to the party. If you notice somebody new show up, go up to them and introduce yourself. If there’s food at the party, offer to get them a drink or show them the food table.
If you and the person are of age to drink alcohol, offer them a drink.
1-5. Find ways to connect with people.
Search for things about someone else you can connect with. You might find someone who attends the same school or university as you, is from your hometown, or is wearing a similar shirt. You have more things in common with most people than you might think.
Comment on what you have in common. For example, say, “I like your shirt! I have the same one.”
1-6. Move around the room.
Avoid staying in the same place all night. Get in the habit of moving around and seeing the room from different vantage points. This will help you observe what other people are doing and if you want to meet other interesting people present at the party.
Moving can help you seem alluring to others and might keep people guessing. Aim to move every 10-15 minutes or so.
2. Being Social in a Group
2-1. Join groups slowly.
If a bunch of people are together talking and you want to join the group, hang back for a moment and listen in to the conversation. You don’t need to walk up and contribute right away. Wait until you’re caught up on what’s being discussed, then chime in with a question or a statement.
For example, if people are talking about sports, say, “I couldn’t believe the game last night!” If people are talking about school, say, “Who else has an exam tomorrow?”
2-2. Start an activity to get people engaged.
Especially if it’s a big party, it’s likely that people will break off into smaller groups. Suggest a card game or board game and invite people to play with you. It may be easy to talk to people while you play the game and being in a smaller circle can make you feel more comfortable.
Put on some music and get people to dance.
Ask people you don’t know, “Do you want to play cards? We’re getting some teams together.”
2-3. Include others in group conversations.
If you successfully join a conversation with other people and someone new walks up, invite them to join the conversation. Let them know what everyone is discussing or invite them to contribute to the discussion.
For example, say, “Tim just got a puppy and we’re discussing dogs. What do you think about having a puppy?”
3. Leaning on Friends to Feel More Comfortable
3-1. Bring friends to the party.
It’s easier to be social if you know other people at the party. Meet up with your friends at the party or go altogether. Knowing that your friends will be there can help you feel more comfortable and at ease.
Make sure you can invite people to the party and it’s not invite-only.
Invite people that you know well so you can talk comfortably around them.
3-2. Hang out with friends to start.
Assuming you’re not at the party alone, lean on the people you know. It’s okay if you feel shy or want to hang out with familiar people at first. Feel comfortable and at ease before you go meet new people.
3-3. Meet friends of friends.
If you want to meet new people but feel shy, have a friend introduce you to their friends. It can be nice to have something in common and know the same people. Ask a friend to introduce you to the people they know at the party.
For example, ask your friend, “Who do you know here? Can you introduce me?”
3-4. Avoid socializing with only your friends.
Parties are a great time to meet people. While it's cool to be with your friends at the beginning, make an effort to meet other people as well. This will help you make new friends who you can hang out with at future parties.
You can always create a group that is a mix of new people and old friends.
4. Dealing with Discomfort and Anxiety
4-1. Ease your symptoms of anxiety.
If you start to feel anxious before or during the party, focus on ways to decrease those feelings. Find a technique that works for you and do it before and during the party. You want to feel comfortable and put the focus on others, not yourself.
For example, challenge negative thoughts about your performance, awkwardness, or that you don’t fit in. Replace your negative thoughts with rational and optimistic thoughts instead, such as “I’m an interesting person” and “Making a new friend can be fun.”
Take some deep breaths when you start to feel nervous or anxious.
4-2. Build your social confidence.
Building your social confidence helps you look and feel more comfortable in social settings. Tune into how others feel and look at their social cues so that you can respond better and focus less on yourself. Notice if someone looks bored, enthusiastic, or engaged and take their cues to continue the conversation or not. When you have a great interaction, remember what you did well and try it again.
If you experience a failed interaction, don’t lose hope. Nobody has perfect interactions all of the time. Try again later or with someone else.
4-3. Don’t give up if you feel uncomfortable.
There may be times you feel awkward or uncomfortable, especially at the beginning of the party. Stick with it. Even if you feel uncomfortable, this doesn’t mean you will feel this way the rest of the night. Work through your discomfort.
For example, set a challenge for yourself. Go talk to someone you haven’t met, even if it’s a brief conversation. Having a challenge can help you be motivated and push you slightly outside of your comfort zone.
If you couldn't break the ice with the first person you met, remember that you might do better with the next person. The more people you meet, the easier it might become.
4-4. Talk to a therapist if you struggle with social anxiety.
If going to a party fills you with fear and you want to run away, you may suffer from social anxiety. Assess your symptoms and talk to a therapist about how you feel. Your therapist can help you manage your symptoms and help you to cope with potentially scary situations. Look for a therapist who specializes in working with people with anxiety disorders.
Find a therapist by calling your insurance provider or contact a local mental health clinic. You can also ask your physician or a friend for a recommendation.
Tips
If you’re of age and alcohol is served, drink a small amount of alcohol if this helps you feel comfortable and warm up.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making New Friends\\n1-1. Look approachable\\nIf people are avoiding you or not coming up to talk to you, assess your body language. Notice if you’re crossing your body and try to uncross your arms and legs. If you’re looking down (or on your phone), look up and try to make eye contact with other people. Smile and look friendly.\\nIf you appear open and friendly, people are more likely to approach you.\\nStand near the action of the room. If you're standing far from the crowd, it may be harder for people to approach you.\\n1-2. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know.\\nFind someone you don’t know and introduce yourself. Keep it simple and don’t overthink it. Once you know each other’s names, you can start a conversation or find things you have in common.\\nFor example, go up to someone and say, “Hi, I’m Liv. What’s your name?”\\n1-3. Ask questions to get to know people better.\\nAsking questions shows that you’re interested and engaged in conversation. Make a point to ask open-ended questions so that the person can elaborate on their answers and build on the conversation. You’ll get to know each other better and keep the conversation going.\\nAsk questions such as, “How did you end up in Los Angeles?” and, “What kinds of things do you do for fun?”\\n1-4. Talk to new people as they arrive.\\nMeeting new people is easy if you’re the first person they interact with once they get to the party. If you notice somebody new show up, go up to them and introduce yourself. If there’s food at the party, offer to get them a drink or show them the food table.\\nIf you and the person are of age to drink alcohol, offer them a drink.\\n1-5. Find ways to connect with people.\\nSearch for things about someone else you can connect with. You might find someone who attends the same school or university as you, is from your hometown, or is wearing a similar shirt. You have more things in common with most people than you might think.\\nComment on what you have in common. For example, say, “I like your shirt! I have the same one.”\\n1-6. Move around the room.\\nAvoid staying in the same place all night. Get in the habit of moving around and seeing the room from different vantage points. This will help you observe what other people are doing and if you want to meet other interesting people present at the party.\\nMoving can help you seem alluring to others and might keep people guessing. Aim to move every 10-15 minutes or so.\\n2. Being Social in a Group\\n2-1. Join groups slowly.\\nIf a bunch of people are together talking and you want to join the group, hang back for a moment and listen in to the conversation. You don’t need to walk up and contribute right away. Wait until you’re caught up on what’s being discussed, then chime in with a question or a statement.\\nFor example, if people are talking about sports, say, “I couldn’t believe the game last night!” If people are talking about school, say, “Who else has an exam tomorrow?”\\n2-2. Start an activity to get people engaged.\\nEspecially if it’s a big party, it’s likely that people will break off into smaller groups. Suggest a card game or board game and invite people to play with you. It may be easy to talk to people while you play the game and being in a smaller circle can make you feel more comfortable.\\nPut on some music and get people to dance.\\nAsk people you don’t know, “Do you want to play cards? We’re getting some teams together.”\\n2-3. Include others in group conversations.\\nIf you successfully join a conversation with other people and someone new walks up, invite them to join the conversation. Let them know what everyone is discussing or invite them to contribute to the discussion.\\nFor example, say, “Tim just got a puppy and we’re discussing dogs. What do you think about having a puppy?”\\n3. Leaning on Friends to Feel More Comfortable\\n3-1. Bring friends to the party.\\nIt’s easier to be social if you know other people at the party. Meet up with your friends at the party or go altogether. Knowing that your friends will be there can help you feel more comfortable and at ease.\\nMake sure you can invite people to the party and it’s not invite-only.\\nInvite people that you know well so you can talk comfortably around them.\\n3-2. Hang out with friends to start.\\nAssuming you’re not at the party alone, lean on the people you know. It’s okay if you feel shy or want to hang out with familiar people at first. Feel comfortable and at ease before you go meet new people.\\n3-3. Meet friends of friends.\\nIf you want to meet new people but feel shy, have a friend introduce you to their friends. It can be nice to have something in common and know the same people. Ask a friend to introduce you to the people they know at the party.\\nFor example, ask your friend, “Who do you know here? Can you introduce me?”\\n3-4. Avoid socializing with only your friends.\\nParties are a great time to meet people. While it's cool to be with your friends at the beginning, make an effort to meet other people as well. This will help you make new friends who you can hang out with at future parties.\\nYou can always create a group that is a mix of new people and old friends.\\n4. Dealing with Discomfort and Anxiety\\n4-1. Ease your symptoms of anxiety.\\nIf you start to feel anxious before or during the party, focus on ways to decrease those feelings. Find a technique that works for you and do it before and during the party. You want to feel comfortable and put the focus on others, not yourself.\\nFor example, challenge negative thoughts about your performance, awkwardness, or that you don’t fit in. Replace your negative thoughts with rational and optimistic thoughts instead, such as “I’m an interesting person” and “Making a new friend can be fun.”\\nTake some deep breaths when you start to feel nervous or anxious.\\n4-2. Build your social confidence.\\nBuilding your social confidence helps you look and feel more comfortable in social settings. Tune into how others feel and look at their social cues so that you can respond better and focus less on yourself. Notice if someone looks bored, enthusiastic, or engaged and take their cues to continue the conversation or not. When you have a great interaction, remember what you did well and try it again.\\nIf you experience a failed interaction, don’t lose hope. Nobody has perfect interactions all of the time. Try again later or with someone else.\\n4-3. Don’t give up if you feel uncomfortable.\\nThere may be times you feel awkward or uncomfortable, especially at the beginning of the party. Stick with it. Even if you feel uncomfortable, this doesn’t mean you will feel this way the rest of the night. Work through your discomfort.\\nFor example, set a challenge for yourself. Go talk to someone you haven’t met, even if it’s a brief conversation. Having a challenge can help you be motivated and push you slightly outside of your comfort zone.\\nIf you couldn't break the ice with the first person you met, remember that you might do better with the next person. The more people you meet, the easier it might become.\\n4-4. Talk to a therapist if you struggle with social anxiety.\\nIf going to a party fills you with fear and you want to run away, you may suffer from social anxiety. Assess your symptoms and talk to a therapist about how you feel. Your therapist can help you manage your symptoms and help you to cope with potentially scary situations. Look for a therapist who specializes in working with people with anxiety disorders.\\nFind a therapist by calling your insurance provider or contact a local mental health clinic. You can also ask your physician or a friend for a recommendation.\\nTips\\nIf you’re of age and alcohol is served, drink a small amount of alcohol if this helps you feel comfortable and warm up.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re shy or you want to get better at being social, there are lots of things you can do to let loose and have fun at parties. Make some new friends by talking to people and getting to know them through conversation. Do an activity that gets people together to have fun. If you feel uncomfortable, bring friends to the party or hang out with people you know before you meet new friends.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making New Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look approachable\", \"描述\": \"If people are avoiding you or not coming up to talk to you, assess your body language. Notice if you’re crossing your body and try to uncross your arms and legs. If you’re looking down (or on your phone), look up and try to make eye contact with other people. Smile and look friendly.\\nIf you appear open and friendly, people are more likely to approach you.\\nStand near the action of the room. If you're standing far from the crowd, it may be harder for people to approach you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself to people you don’t know.\", \"描述\": \"Find someone you don’t know and introduce yourself. Keep it simple and don’t overthink it. Once you know each other’s names, you can start a conversation or find things you have in common.\\nFor example, go up to someone and say, “Hi, I’m Liv. What’s your name?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions to get to know people better.\", \"描述\": \"Asking questions shows that you’re interested and engaged in conversation. Make a point to ask open-ended questions so that the person can elaborate on their answers and build on the conversation. You’ll get to know each other better and keep the conversation going.\\nAsk questions such as, “How did you end up in Los Angeles?” and, “What kinds of things do you do for fun?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to new people as they arrive.\", \"描述\": \"Meeting new people is easy if you’re the first person they interact with once they get to the party. If you notice somebody new show up, go up to them and introduce yourself. If there’s food at the party, offer to get them a drink or show them the food table.\\nIf you and the person are of age to drink alcohol, offer them a drink.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find ways to connect with people.\", \"描述\": \"Search for things about someone else you can connect with. You might find someone who attends the same school or university as you, is from your hometown, or is wearing a similar shirt. You have more things in common with most people than you might think.\\nComment on what you have in common. For example, say, “I like your shirt! I have the same one.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Move around the room.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid staying in the same place all night. Get in the habit of moving around and seeing the room from different vantage points. This will help you observe what other people are doing and if you want to meet other interesting people present at the party.\\nMoving can help you seem alluring to others and might keep people guessing. Aim to move every 10-15 minutes or so.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Social in a Group\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join groups slowly.\", \"描述\": \"If a bunch of people are together talking and you want to join the group, hang back for a moment and listen in to the conversation. You don’t need to walk up and contribute right away. Wait until you’re caught up on what’s being discussed, then chime in with a question or a statement.\\nFor example, if people are talking about sports, say, “I couldn’t believe the game last night!” If people are talking about school, say, “Who else has an exam tomorrow?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start an activity to get people engaged.\", \"描述\": \"Especially if it’s a big party, it’s likely that people will break off into smaller groups. Suggest a card game or board game and invite people to play with you. It may be easy to talk to people while you play the game and being in a smaller circle can make you feel more comfortable.\\nPut on some music and get people to dance.\\nAsk people you don’t know, “Do you want to play cards? We’re getting some teams together.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Include others in group conversations.\", \"描述\": \"If you successfully join a conversation with other people and someone new walks up, invite them to join the conversation. Let them know what everyone is discussing or invite them to contribute to the discussion.\\nFor example, say, “Tim just got a puppy and we’re discussing dogs. What do you think about having a puppy?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Leaning on Friends to Feel More Comfortable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring friends to the party.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easier to be social if you know other people at the party. Meet up with your friends at the party or go altogether. Knowing that your friends will be there can help you feel more comfortable and at ease.\\nMake sure you can invite people to the party and it’s not invite-only.\\nInvite people that you know well so you can talk comfortably around them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hang out with friends to start.\", \"描述\": \"Assuming you’re not at the party alone, lean on the people you know. It’s okay if you feel shy or want to hang out with familiar people at first. Feel comfortable and at ease before you go meet new people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Meet friends of friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to meet new people but feel shy, have a friend introduce you to their friends. It can be nice to have something in common and know the same people. Ask a friend to introduce you to the people they know at the party.\\nFor example, ask your friend, “Who do you know here? Can you introduce me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid socializing with only your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Parties are a great time to meet people. While it's cool to be with your friends at the beginning, make an effort to meet other people as well. This will help you make new friends who you can hang out with at future parties.\\nYou can always create a group that is a mix of new people and old friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Discomfort and Anxiety\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ease your symptoms of anxiety.\", \"描述\": \"If you start to feel anxious before or during the party, focus on ways to decrease those feelings. Find a technique that works for you and do it before and during the party. You want to feel comfortable and put the focus on others, not yourself.\\nFor example, challenge negative thoughts about your performance, awkwardness, or that you don’t fit in. Replace your negative thoughts with rational and optimistic thoughts instead, such as “I’m an interesting person” and “Making a new friend can be fun.”\\nTake some deep breaths when you start to feel nervous or anxious.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Build your social confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Building your social confidence helps you look and feel more comfortable in social settings. Tune into how others feel and look at their social cues so that you can respond better and focus less on yourself. Notice if someone looks bored, enthusiastic, or engaged and take their cues to continue the conversation or not. When you have a great interaction, remember what you did well and try it again.\\nIf you experience a failed interaction, don’t lose hope. Nobody has perfect interactions all of the time. Try again later or with someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t give up if you feel uncomfortable.\", \"描述\": \"There may be times you feel awkward or uncomfortable, especially at the beginning of the party. Stick with it. Even if you feel uncomfortable, this doesn’t mean you will feel this way the rest of the night. Work through your discomfort.\\nFor example, set a challenge for yourself. Go talk to someone you haven’t met, even if it’s a brief conversation. Having a challenge can help you be motivated and push you slightly outside of your comfort zone.\\nIf you couldn't break the ice with the first person you met, remember that you might do better with the next person. The more people you meet, the easier it might become.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to a therapist if you struggle with social anxiety.\", \"描述\": \"If going to a party fills you with fear and you want to run away, you may suffer from social anxiety. Assess your symptoms and talk to a therapist about how you feel. Your therapist can help you manage your symptoms and help you to cope with potentially scary situations. Look for a therapist who specializes in working with people with anxiety disorders.\\nFind a therapist by calling your insurance provider or contact a local mental health clinic. You can also ask your physician or a friend for a recommendation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’re of age and alcohol is served, drink a small amount of alcohol if this helps you feel comfortable and warm up.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,172 | How to Be Social at a Party when You Don't Know Anyone There | 1. Assessing the Party
1-1. Calm your anxiety before going into the party.
If you're nervous about entering a party when you don't know anyone there, it's a good idea to calm yourself before trying to meet anyone. Take a deep breath, breathing all the way down to your belly, and breathing out slowly through your nose. Repeat this slow, deep breathing several times. Make sure your feet are placed firmly against the floor, so that you’re well-grounded.
Bring to mind a positive visualization. For example, imagine yourself looking sleek and sexy on the dance floor, or someone attractive laughing at your sense of humor.
Realize that no one’s paying attention to you, so there’s no need to feel self-conscious. After all, most people attending parties are also nervous.
Repeat this process anytime you start to feel nervous at the party.
1-2. Smile at other guests to appear more confident.
You may be feeling terrified, but if you smile you’re more likely to look confident. Even if you don't know anyone else at the party, you can increase your social abilities through smiling. In addition, if you're feeling nervous, smiling can help to improve your mood, and reduce stress.
People often respond to a smiling person with a smile of their own, which will make you feel even better.
Even a slight smile will be enough to help your facial muscles relax, and your appearance seem less threatening to other party guests.
When you look confident, you’ll start to feel confident.
1-3. Think about the purpose of the party.
What kind of party is it? Social interactions will vary depending on the reason you’re gathered together. If you’re attending a frat party, you’ll need different social skills than you might at a Christmas carol party held by your mom’s church choir.
Remember that other people may not know one another either.
Considering the nature of the party, try to gauge how likely it is that many people may be making their first introductions.
1-4. Learn your way around the party.
It will help you feel at ease to figure out the physical layout of the party, if it’s unfamiliar to you. Figure out where the bathroom is, where the food is, where the drinks are, as a way to get comfortable at the party.
Making your way around the party will also help you take stock of how many people are there, and what kind of party it is.
There might be different activities going on in different parts of the space. If this is the case, you can start with the area in which you feel most at ease.
1-5. Tweak your personal habits to be more approachable.
There's no need for a dramatic personality shift. Simply make a few small changes to help you blend in and connect with new people at the party.
If you naturally slouch and have a bored expression, make an effort to stand up straight and smile.
If you usually dress for comfort but you know the party will be dressier, step up your outfit. Put on makeup or spend a couple extra minutes on your hair so you stand out in the right way.
1-6. Look at the other party guests.
Are people seated at tables in small groups? Or are there lots of people walking about? You can model your physical behavior on what others are doing.
For example, if people are dancing, notice if they’re dancing alone or if they’re paired up.
Try to position yourself in a part of the room where you’re likely to be most comfortable.
1-7. Think about what you’re likely to have in common.
If you focus on what you have in common, you’re likely to start to feel more confident. One of the reasons that strangers often talk about the weather is that it’s one thing we all have in common. This isn’t a bad place to start, but try to think of other options. For example, you might notice that someone’s wearing a tee-shirt of your favorite band, which makes for a good conversation starter.
If you’re feeling self-conscious, finding similarities with others can help you calm down.
Even in a new city or a country where you don’t speak the language, you’ll be able to find similarities if you’re focused on finding them.
1-8. Offer to help the host.
This can be a good way to get adjusted to the party, especially if you have a social connection to the host. Asking what you can do to help with the food or drinks is often appreciated, and gives you a good way to circulate through the party as well.
Even if the host doesn’t need your help, she may pick up on your unspoken apprehension and provide something for you to do, or someone to introduce you to.
If you’ve brought some food or a bottle of wine with you to the party, this provides an instant project for your arrival. Upon arrival, you can ask where would be the best place to put it, or where the host would like you to put it.
1-9. Find the buffet table.
Food makes a great topic of conversation between people who don’t know each other. Find someone who looks friendly at the buffet table, and make a pleasant remark about the food. For example, you might say something about how much you like one of the items or how glad you are to see that they’ve included vegetarian options.
Asking a question about the food is another good conversation starter. You might say, “Everything looks so good. Which kind do you think you’re going to pick?”
You can follow up by introducing yourself or making follow-up statements. If the other person doesn’t reciprocate, it’s quite easy to move along.
2. Starting Conversations
2-1. Introduce yourself to other guests.
Say your name, and if it’s an unusual name you might add spelling or a rhyme that the person can use to help remember your name.
If appropriate, add a detail about the reason you’re at the party. For example, “I’m Pam’s daughter,” if the people at the party are friends of your mother, or “I’m an anthropology major,” if this is a college department party.
You can follow up by asking the other person to say his own name, but most of the time people respond by introducing themselves without being asked.
2-2. Pay a compliment to start a conversation.
People always like to hear nice things said about themselves. To have a great conversation with someone you’ve just met, say something nice about something the person is wearing. At most parties, other guests will have taken care with their appearance and will appreciate the attention.
You can also use a compliment to start a conversation by pairing it with a question. For example, you might say, “That’s a really cool scarf. Where did you get it?”
Avoid compliments about the person’s appearance, as this might make her uncomfortable.
2-3. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
If you don’t know anyone at the party, it’s okay to say so. This is easily done as you introduce yourself. For example, “Hi, I’m Mike. I hope you don’t mind, but I don’t know anyone here and you seemed nice.”
If the person is an extrovert, they may be happy to chat with you and introduce you to others in the group.
Chances are, others may be in a similar situation. If you’re both newcomers to the group, you can laugh and talk about the challenges of being in this situation.
2-4. Avoid bringing up conversation killers.
There are certain topics that are likely to be met with awkward silence. If you don’t already know the political orientation of the party-goers, for example, never bring up the topic of politics or you might find yourself unintentionally offending others.
Don’t bring up overly personal details, whether of money, sex, illness or intimacy. Save these topics for people you know well.
Making judgmental comments isn’t likely to be appreciated. For example, “You’d think she would know better than to wear that color with her complexion,” may not be appreciated.
Never ask a woman if she’s pregnant. If she’s gained weight, she may feel embarrassed.
2-5. Make sure your body language is friendly.
Make brief eye contact with other people. A slight smile will help others know that you’re open to conversation.
When someone speaks to you, look at them attentively at least 70% of the time.
Angle the front of your body towards the person who’s talking, which will help the person know you’re listening.
You don’t want to maintain eye contact for too long, as this might seem aggressive or overly flirtatious. Instead, limit the eye contact for 4-5 seconds, before looking away, then looking again.
2-6. Tell a funny story to put others at ease.
If you don’t know anyone at the party, no one will have heard you tell your favorite funny anecdotes. Think about sharing a funny thing that happened to you. This will make you seem more relatable and friendly.
Be careful not to tell a story that may offend others. After all, humor is sometimes different across different groups of people.
If you have a good story, it can fill in a conversational lull. Or you can connect your story to someone else’s statement, saying, “That reminds me of something that happened to me one time…”
2-7. Be prepared to make small talk.
Making small talk is a way of sharing general information with another person as a means to learn what you might have in common. For example, asking about favorite movies is often a good way to find mutual interests. Something as simple as asking about the recent blockbuster can lead into multiple conversational paths.
Making small talk might lead to deeper conversations, or it might not. Small talk is often less about the information shared than the good feelings that it provides.
You’ll want to stick to non-intimate, non-controversial topics to keep your conversation on a light note.
2-8. Talk about the party or setting.
One of the things you’ll have in common with everyone else at the party is that you’re both there. Perhaps you all had to battle traffic to get to the party. Use this as a means to get to know other people, whether through questions, comments, or observations.
Be unfailingly complimentary in your comments. This would be the wrong time to complain about the lack of your favorite drink, or how you’ve always hated evening gatherings.
You could ask other people how they know the hostess, or if this is their first time among the group also.
2-9. Be an active listener.
When you're nervous about not knowing anyone at a party, it might be difficult to concentrate on the conversations that come up. It will help your focus to repeat parts of what another person has said to assure them you've heard what was said. Use nonverbal cues, such as nodding, eye contact, and leaning towards the person, to let the other guest know that you're actively listening to what she has to say.
Try to avoid talking over the other person while she’s talking, even if she’s talking about a topic you’re interested in.
Ask plenty of open-ended questions about topics the other guest has brought up in order to keep the conversation going.
Be sensitive to the emotions that the conversation is bringing up in the person. Generally, party conversations tend to be fun and light. If you find your conversation getting too intense or emotional, it's okay to back off a little.
2-10. Pay attention to feedback to choose topics of conversation.
Look for subtle signals in body language to help you gauge whether you should change the topic or find someone new to talk with. Be observant--these are signs you should be able to notice in almost everyone you meet.
For example, if someone is making eye contact with you and nodding, they're interested in the conversation. Keep talking to them and doing what you're doing!
If they're facing partially away from you or glancing around the room, they're not very engaged. Change the topic back to them with a question or find another person you haven't yet introduced yourself to.
2-11. End the conversation
Conversations at parties start and end rapidly, and if you’re talking with someone you’ve just met, it’s a good idea not to keep the conversation going on too long.
Have an excuse prepared for needing to leave. This is a time when it’s okay not to tell the truth.
You can always say, “I have to get up early tomorrow,” or even just, “Please, excuse me. I need to find the ladies’.”
You can say, “It was nice to meet you,” or “Great talking to you!” Some people like to shake hands, but at some parties this might be too formal.
If you like, you can include an excuse for breaking off the conversation. For example, you can say, “I don’t want to dominate your evening,” or “I should probably let you talk to other people here.”
3. Dealing With Large Parties
3-1. Realize that you need to be more assertive.
You’ll need to speak with a louder voice if you want to be heard. You’ll need to let others know that you’d like to talk by physically moving closer to them than you might at a quieter party.
Large parties are often more chaotic, with people interrupting one another, or talking quickly to make sure they get their point across.
One way to effectively join in a group conversation is to repeat the last phrase that another person said, and join it with your own thoughts. For example, if someone’s just shared a story about being in Paris in April, you might echo, “Yes, Paris in April is beautiful, and for my college graduation, I was able to go to Rome, which I thought was wonderfully diverse.”
Topics often change very quickly in a group conversation, so don’t worry too much about being exactly on topic. Being friendly is the main consideration.
3-2. Get into a party state of mind.
If you’re the kind of person who’d rather be at home with a book, you might have a hard time adapting to being in a large group of people. Each person has her own way of getting energized for a party. You might listen to the music, and try to get into the rhythm of it. Or, you can think of party scenes from some of your favorite movies, and imagine yourself in the role of the heroine.
Even if you’re not totally at ease about being at the party, trying act as if you’re comfortable can help speed the process. (This is sometimes called, “Fake it until you make it!”)
If you find yourself getting drained, make an excuse to get away for a short time. Taking a break by yourself can be a way for an introvert to recharge her batteries and return to the party refreshed.
3-3. Accept that you’re unlikely to have a quiet conversation.
If you really appreciate the kind of focused conversation that can happen between two people who know each other well, you’ll have to adjust to the fact that this isn’t likely to happen at the large party. Rather than becoming grumpy about what’s not going to happen, it’s a better idea to rescale your expectations.
Conversations in groups tend to be very broad, about a wide range of rapidly shifting topics. The goal of party conversations tends to be less on exchange of information and ideas, than on sharing a common good feeling.
Good conversational choices for talking in groups include: short funny anecdotes, joking around, wordplay.
Topics to avoid include: detailed analysis of a topic, anything that might unintentionally offend others, including political discussion, or discussions of religious faith and practice.
3-4. Start a side conversation.
In a large group of people, you can sometimes find conversation easier by addressing one person, rather than the whole group. Little side conversations often break off of larger group conversations, either related to the topic the larger group is discussing or completely unrelated.
It’s okay to talk while others are talking when you’re in a large group; it’s not rude to have a side conversation.
Sometimes the conversation might end abruptly if the group conversation shifts to something more interesting. It’s okay to move back and forth between the small side conversation and the larger group conversation.
3-5. Notice if you can help someone else.
If you’re attentive, you may notice that there’s another person who can’t make his way into the conversational flow. See if you can signal your willingness to help him by making eye contact with him, nodding or smiling.
Sometimes you can help support another person who’s trying to make a point. For example, by asking a clarifying question about the subject he’s brought up or restating what he’s said in a new way.
If you’re good at talking in groups, make sure that you’re not taking up too much of everyone’s attention. One way to do this is to use your skills to help others join in the discussion.
Tips
If you don't know who to talk to, find a group having a conversation, smile, and ask if they mind if you join them.[23]
X
Expert Source
Lynda JeanCertified Image Consultant
Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Assessing the Party\\n1-1. Calm your anxiety before going into the party.\\nIf you're nervous about entering a party when you don't know anyone there, it's a good idea to calm yourself before trying to meet anyone. Take a deep breath, breathing all the way down to your belly, and breathing out slowly through your nose. Repeat this slow, deep breathing several times. Make sure your feet are placed firmly against the floor, so that you’re well-grounded. \\nBring to mind a positive visualization. For example, imagine yourself looking sleek and sexy on the dance floor, or someone attractive laughing at your sense of humor.\\nRealize that no one’s paying attention to you, so there’s no need to feel self-conscious. After all, most people attending parties are also nervous.\\nRepeat this process anytime you start to feel nervous at the party.\\n1-2. Smile at other guests to appear more confident.\\nYou may be feeling terrified, but if you smile you’re more likely to look confident. Even if you don't know anyone else at the party, you can increase your social abilities through smiling. In addition, if you're feeling nervous, smiling can help to improve your mood, and reduce stress.\\nPeople often respond to a smiling person with a smile of their own, which will make you feel even better.\\nEven a slight smile will be enough to help your facial muscles relax, and your appearance seem less threatening to other party guests.\\nWhen you look confident, you’ll start to feel confident.\\n1-3. Think about the purpose of the party.\\nWhat kind of party is it? Social interactions will vary depending on the reason you’re gathered together. If you’re attending a frat party, you’ll need different social skills than you might at a Christmas carol party held by your mom’s church choir.\\nRemember that other people may not know one another either.\\nConsidering the nature of the party, try to gauge how likely it is that many people may be making their first introductions.\\n1-4. Learn your way around the party.\\nIt will help you feel at ease to figure out the physical layout of the party, if it’s unfamiliar to you. Figure out where the bathroom is, where the food is, where the drinks are, as a way to get comfortable at the party.\\nMaking your way around the party will also help you take stock of how many people are there, and what kind of party it is.\\nThere might be different activities going on in different parts of the space. If this is the case, you can start with the area in which you feel most at ease.\\n1-5. Tweak your personal habits to be more approachable.\\nThere's no need for a dramatic personality shift. Simply make a few small changes to help you blend in and connect with new people at the party.\\nIf you naturally slouch and have a bored expression, make an effort to stand up straight and smile.\\nIf you usually dress for comfort but you know the party will be dressier, step up your outfit. Put on makeup or spend a couple extra minutes on your hair so you stand out in the right way.\\n1-6. Look at the other party guests.\\nAre people seated at tables in small groups? Or are there lots of people walking about? You can model your physical behavior on what others are doing. \\nFor example, if people are dancing, notice if they’re dancing alone or if they’re paired up.\\nTry to position yourself in a part of the room where you’re likely to be most comfortable.\\n1-7. Think about what you’re likely to have in common.\\nIf you focus on what you have in common, you’re likely to start to feel more confident. One of the reasons that strangers often talk about the weather is that it’s one thing we all have in common. This isn’t a bad place to start, but try to think of other options. For example, you might notice that someone’s wearing a tee-shirt of your favorite band, which makes for a good conversation starter.\\nIf you’re feeling self-conscious, finding similarities with others can help you calm down.\\nEven in a new city or a country where you don’t speak the language, you’ll be able to find similarities if you’re focused on finding them.\\n1-8. Offer to help the host.\\nThis can be a good way to get adjusted to the party, especially if you have a social connection to the host. Asking what you can do to help with the food or drinks is often appreciated, and gives you a good way to circulate through the party as well.\\nEven if the host doesn’t need your help, she may pick up on your unspoken apprehension and provide something for you to do, or someone to introduce you to.\\nIf you’ve brought some food or a bottle of wine with you to the party, this provides an instant project for your arrival. Upon arrival, you can ask where would be the best place to put it, or where the host would like you to put it.\\n1-9. Find the buffet table.\\nFood makes a great topic of conversation between people who don’t know each other. Find someone who looks friendly at the buffet table, and make a pleasant remark about the food. For example, you might say something about how much you like one of the items or how glad you are to see that they’ve included vegetarian options.\\nAsking a question about the food is another good conversation starter. You might say, “Everything looks so good. Which kind do you think you’re going to pick?”\\nYou can follow up by introducing yourself or making follow-up statements. If the other person doesn’t reciprocate, it’s quite easy to move along.\\n2. Starting Conversations\\n2-1. Introduce yourself to other guests.\\nSay your name, and if it’s an unusual name you might add spelling or a rhyme that the person can use to help remember your name.\\nIf appropriate, add a detail about the reason you’re at the party. For example, “I’m Pam’s daughter,” if the people at the party are friends of your mother, or “I’m an anthropology major,” if this is a college department party.\\nYou can follow up by asking the other person to say his own name, but most of the time people respond by introducing themselves without being asked.\\n2-2. Pay a compliment to start a conversation.\\nPeople always like to hear nice things said about themselves. To have a great conversation with someone you’ve just met, say something nice about something the person is wearing. At most parties, other guests will have taken care with their appearance and will appreciate the attention.\\nYou can also use a compliment to start a conversation by pairing it with a question. For example, you might say, “That’s a really cool scarf. Where did you get it?”\\nAvoid compliments about the person’s appearance, as this might make her uncomfortable.\\n2-3. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.\\nIf you don’t know anyone at the party, it’s okay to say so. This is easily done as you introduce yourself. For example, “Hi, I’m Mike. I hope you don’t mind, but I don’t know anyone here and you seemed nice.”\\nIf the person is an extrovert, they may be happy to chat with you and introduce you to others in the group.\\nChances are, others may be in a similar situation. If you’re both newcomers to the group, you can laugh and talk about the challenges of being in this situation.\\n2-4. Avoid bringing up conversation killers.\\nThere are certain topics that are likely to be met with awkward silence. If you don’t already know the political orientation of the party-goers, for example, never bring up the topic of politics or you might find yourself unintentionally offending others.\\nDon’t bring up overly personal details, whether of money, sex, illness or intimacy. Save these topics for people you know well.\\nMaking judgmental comments isn’t likely to be appreciated. For example, “You’d think she would know better than to wear that color with her complexion,” may not be appreciated.\\nNever ask a woman if she’s pregnant. If she’s gained weight, she may feel embarrassed.\\n2-5. Make sure your body language is friendly.\\nMake brief eye contact with other people. A slight smile will help others know that you’re open to conversation. \\nWhen someone speaks to you, look at them attentively at least 70% of the time.\\nAngle the front of your body towards the person who’s talking, which will help the person know you’re listening.\\nYou don’t want to maintain eye contact for too long, as this might seem aggressive or overly flirtatious. Instead, limit the eye contact for 4-5 seconds, before looking away, then looking again.\\n2-6. Tell a funny story to put others at ease.\\nIf you don’t know anyone at the party, no one will have heard you tell your favorite funny anecdotes. Think about sharing a funny thing that happened to you. This will make you seem more relatable and friendly.\\nBe careful not to tell a story that may offend others. After all, humor is sometimes different across different groups of people.\\nIf you have a good story, it can fill in a conversational lull. Or you can connect your story to someone else’s statement, saying, “That reminds me of something that happened to me one time…”\\n2-7. Be prepared to make small talk.\\nMaking small talk is a way of sharing general information with another person as a means to learn what you might have in common. For example, asking about favorite movies is often a good way to find mutual interests. Something as simple as asking about the recent blockbuster can lead into multiple conversational paths.\\nMaking small talk might lead to deeper conversations, or it might not. Small talk is often less about the information shared than the good feelings that it provides.\\nYou’ll want to stick to non-intimate, non-controversial topics to keep your conversation on a light note.\\n2-8. Talk about the party or setting.\\nOne of the things you’ll have in common with everyone else at the party is that you’re both there. Perhaps you all had to battle traffic to get to the party. Use this as a means to get to know other people, whether through questions, comments, or observations.\\nBe unfailingly complimentary in your comments. This would be the wrong time to complain about the lack of your favorite drink, or how you’ve always hated evening gatherings.\\nYou could ask other people how they know the hostess, or if this is their first time among the group also.\\n2-9. Be an active listener.\\nWhen you're nervous about not knowing anyone at a party, it might be difficult to concentrate on the conversations that come up. It will help your focus to repeat parts of what another person has said to assure them you've heard what was said. Use nonverbal cues, such as nodding, eye contact, and leaning towards the person, to let the other guest know that you're actively listening to what she has to say.\\nTry to avoid talking over the other person while she’s talking, even if she’s talking about a topic you’re interested in.\\nAsk plenty of open-ended questions about topics the other guest has brought up in order to keep the conversation going.\\nBe sensitive to the emotions that the conversation is bringing up in the person. Generally, party conversations tend to be fun and light. If you find your conversation getting too intense or emotional, it's okay to back off a little.\\n2-10. Pay attention to feedback to choose topics of conversation.\\nLook for subtle signals in body language to help you gauge whether you should change the topic or find someone new to talk with. Be observant--these are signs you should be able to notice in almost everyone you meet.\\nFor example, if someone is making eye contact with you and nodding, they're interested in the conversation. Keep talking to them and doing what you're doing!\\nIf they're facing partially away from you or glancing around the room, they're not very engaged. Change the topic back to them with a question or find another person you haven't yet introduced yourself to.\\n2-11. End the conversation\\nConversations at parties start and end rapidly, and if you’re talking with someone you’ve just met, it’s a good idea not to keep the conversation going on too long.\\nHave an excuse prepared for needing to leave. This is a time when it’s okay not to tell the truth.\\nYou can always say, “I have to get up early tomorrow,” or even just, “Please, excuse me. I need to find the ladies’.”\\nYou can say, “It was nice to meet you,” or “Great talking to you!” Some people like to shake hands, but at some parties this might be too formal.\\nIf you like, you can include an excuse for breaking off the conversation. For example, you can say, “I don’t want to dominate your evening,” or “I should probably let you talk to other people here.”\\n3. Dealing With Large Parties\\n3-1. Realize that you need to be more assertive.\\nYou’ll need to speak with a louder voice if you want to be heard. You’ll need to let others know that you’d like to talk by physically moving closer to them than you might at a quieter party.\\nLarge parties are often more chaotic, with people interrupting one another, or talking quickly to make sure they get their point across.\\nOne way to effectively join in a group conversation is to repeat the last phrase that another person said, and join it with your own thoughts. For example, if someone’s just shared a story about being in Paris in April, you might echo, “Yes, Paris in April is beautiful, and for my college graduation, I was able to go to Rome, which I thought was wonderfully diverse.”\\nTopics often change very quickly in a group conversation, so don’t worry too much about being exactly on topic. Being friendly is the main consideration.\\n3-2. Get into a party state of mind.\\nIf you’re the kind of person who’d rather be at home with a book, you might have a hard time adapting to being in a large group of people. Each person has her own way of getting energized for a party. You might listen to the music, and try to get into the rhythm of it. Or, you can think of party scenes from some of your favorite movies, and imagine yourself in the role of the heroine.\\nEven if you’re not totally at ease about being at the party, trying act as if you’re comfortable can help speed the process. (This is sometimes called, “Fake it until you make it!”)\\nIf you find yourself getting drained, make an excuse to get away for a short time. Taking a break by yourself can be a way for an introvert to recharge her batteries and return to the party refreshed.\\n3-3. Accept that you’re unlikely to have a quiet conversation.\\nIf you really appreciate the kind of focused conversation that can happen between two people who know each other well, you’ll have to adjust to the fact that this isn’t likely to happen at the large party. Rather than becoming grumpy about what’s not going to happen, it’s a better idea to rescale your expectations.\\nConversations in groups tend to be very broad, about a wide range of rapidly shifting topics. The goal of party conversations tends to be less on exchange of information and ideas, than on sharing a common good feeling.\\nGood conversational choices for talking in groups include: short funny anecdotes, joking around, wordplay.\\nTopics to avoid include: detailed analysis of a topic, anything that might unintentionally offend others, including political discussion, or discussions of religious faith and practice.\\n3-4. Start a side conversation.\\nIn a large group of people, you can sometimes find conversation easier by addressing one person, rather than the whole group. Little side conversations often break off of larger group conversations, either related to the topic the larger group is discussing or completely unrelated.\\nIt’s okay to talk while others are talking when you’re in a large group; it’s not rude to have a side conversation.\\nSometimes the conversation might end abruptly if the group conversation shifts to something more interesting. It’s okay to move back and forth between the small side conversation and the larger group conversation.\\n3-5. Notice if you can help someone else.\\nIf you’re attentive, you may notice that there’s another person who can’t make his way into the conversational flow. See if you can signal your willingness to help him by making eye contact with him, nodding or smiling.\\nSometimes you can help support another person who’s trying to make a point. For example, by asking a clarifying question about the subject he’s brought up or restating what he’s said in a new way.\\nIf you’re good at talking in groups, make sure that you’re not taking up too much of everyone’s attention. One way to do this is to use your skills to help others join in the discussion.\\nTips\\nIf you don't know who to talk to, find a group having a conversation, smile, and ask if they mind if you join them.[23]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLynda JeanCertified Image Consultant\\nExpert Interview. 17 November 2020.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Going to parties when you don’t know anyone can be a challenge. Start by taking stock of the nature of the party. Start conversations one at a time, whether with an individual person or in a larger group. Remember that attentive listening to others is an important factor of social success.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assessing the Party\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Calm your anxiety before going into the party.\", \"描述\": \"If you're nervous about entering a party when you don't know anyone there, it's a good idea to calm yourself before trying to meet anyone. Take a deep breath, breathing all the way down to your belly, and breathing out slowly through your nose. Repeat this slow, deep breathing several times. Make sure your feet are placed firmly against the floor, so that you’re well-grounded. \\nBring to mind a positive visualization. For example, imagine yourself looking sleek and sexy on the dance floor, or someone attractive laughing at your sense of humor.\\nRealize that no one’s paying attention to you, so there’s no need to feel self-conscious. After all, most people attending parties are also nervous.\\nRepeat this process anytime you start to feel nervous at the party.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Smile at other guests to appear more confident.\", \"描述\": \"You may be feeling terrified, but if you smile you’re more likely to look confident. Even if you don't know anyone else at the party, you can increase your social abilities through smiling. In addition, if you're feeling nervous, smiling can help to improve your mood, and reduce stress.\\nPeople often respond to a smiling person with a smile of their own, which will make you feel even better.\\nEven a slight smile will be enough to help your facial muscles relax, and your appearance seem less threatening to other party guests.\\nWhen you look confident, you’ll start to feel confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think about the purpose of the party.\", \"描述\": \"What kind of party is it? Social interactions will vary depending on the reason you’re gathered together. If you’re attending a frat party, you’ll need different social skills than you might at a Christmas carol party held by your mom’s church choir.\\nRemember that other people may not know one another either.\\nConsidering the nature of the party, try to gauge how likely it is that many people may be making their first introductions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn your way around the party.\", \"描述\": \"It will help you feel at ease to figure out the physical layout of the party, if it’s unfamiliar to you. Figure out where the bathroom is, where the food is, where the drinks are, as a way to get comfortable at the party.\\nMaking your way around the party will also help you take stock of how many people are there, and what kind of party it is.\\nThere might be different activities going on in different parts of the space. If this is the case, you can start with the area in which you feel most at ease.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tweak your personal habits to be more approachable.\", \"描述\": \"There's no need for a dramatic personality shift. Simply make a few small changes to help you blend in and connect with new people at the party.\\nIf you naturally slouch and have a bored expression, make an effort to stand up straight and smile.\\nIf you usually dress for comfort but you know the party will be dressier, step up your outfit. Put on makeup or spend a couple extra minutes on your hair so you stand out in the right way.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look at the other party guests.\", \"描述\": \"Are people seated at tables in small groups? Or are there lots of people walking about? You can model your physical behavior on what others are doing. \\nFor example, if people are dancing, notice if they’re dancing alone or if they’re paired up.\\nTry to position yourself in a part of the room where you’re likely to be most comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Think about what you’re likely to have in common.\", \"描述\": \"If you focus on what you have in common, you’re likely to start to feel more confident. One of the reasons that strangers often talk about the weather is that it’s one thing we all have in common. This isn’t a bad place to start, but try to think of other options. For example, you might notice that someone’s wearing a tee-shirt of your favorite band, which makes for a good conversation starter.\\nIf you’re feeling self-conscious, finding similarities with others can help you calm down.\\nEven in a new city or a country where you don’t speak the language, you’ll be able to find similarities if you’re focused on finding them.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Offer to help the host.\", \"描述\": \"This can be a good way to get adjusted to the party, especially if you have a social connection to the host. Asking what you can do to help with the food or drinks is often appreciated, and gives you a good way to circulate through the party as well.\\nEven if the host doesn’t need your help, she may pick up on your unspoken apprehension and provide something for you to do, or someone to introduce you to.\\nIf you’ve brought some food or a bottle of wine with you to the party, this provides an instant project for your arrival. Upon arrival, you can ask where would be the best place to put it, or where the host would like you to put it.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Find the buffet table.\", \"描述\": \"Food makes a great topic of conversation between people who don’t know each other. Find someone who looks friendly at the buffet table, and make a pleasant remark about the food. For example, you might say something about how much you like one of the items or how glad you are to see that they’ve included vegetarian options.\\nAsking a question about the food is another good conversation starter. You might say, “Everything looks so good. Which kind do you think you’re going to pick?”\\nYou can follow up by introducing yourself or making follow-up statements. If the other person doesn’t reciprocate, it’s quite easy to move along.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Starting Conversations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself to other guests.\", \"描述\": \"Say your name, and if it’s an unusual name you might add spelling or a rhyme that the person can use to help remember your name.\\nIf appropriate, add a detail about the reason you’re at the party. For example, “I’m Pam’s daughter,” if the people at the party are friends of your mother, or “I’m an anthropology major,” if this is a college department party.\\nYou can follow up by asking the other person to say his own name, but most of the time people respond by introducing themselves without being asked.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay a compliment to start a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"People always like to hear nice things said about themselves. To have a great conversation with someone you’ve just met, say something nice about something the person is wearing. At most parties, other guests will have taken care with their appearance and will appreciate the attention.\\nYou can also use a compliment to start a conversation by pairing it with a question. For example, you might say, “That’s a really cool scarf. Where did you get it?”\\nAvoid compliments about the person’s appearance, as this might make her uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Allow yourself to be vulnerable.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t know anyone at the party, it’s okay to say so. This is easily done as you introduce yourself. For example, “Hi, I’m Mike. I hope you don’t mind, but I don’t know anyone here and you seemed nice.”\\nIf the person is an extrovert, they may be happy to chat with you and introduce you to others in the group.\\nChances are, others may be in a similar situation. If you’re both newcomers to the group, you can laugh and talk about the challenges of being in this situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid bringing up conversation killers.\", \"描述\": \"There are certain topics that are likely to be met with awkward silence. If you don’t already know the political orientation of the party-goers, for example, never bring up the topic of politics or you might find yourself unintentionally offending others.\\nDon’t bring up overly personal details, whether of money, sex, illness or intimacy. Save these topics for people you know well.\\nMaking judgmental comments isn’t likely to be appreciated. For example, “You’d think she would know better than to wear that color with her complexion,” may not be appreciated.\\nNever ask a woman if she’s pregnant. If she’s gained weight, she may feel embarrassed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make sure your body language is friendly.\", \"描述\": \"Make brief eye contact with other people. A slight smile will help others know that you’re open to conversation. \\nWhen someone speaks to you, look at them attentively at least 70% of the time.\\nAngle the front of your body towards the person who’s talking, which will help the person know you’re listening.\\nYou don’t want to maintain eye contact for too long, as this might seem aggressive or overly flirtatious. Instead, limit the eye contact for 4-5 seconds, before looking away, then looking again.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell a funny story to put others at ease.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t know anyone at the party, no one will have heard you tell your favorite funny anecdotes. Think about sharing a funny thing that happened to you. This will make you seem more relatable and friendly.\\nBe careful not to tell a story that may offend others. After all, humor is sometimes different across different groups of people.\\nIf you have a good story, it can fill in a conversational lull. Or you can connect your story to someone else’s statement, saying, “That reminds me of something that happened to me one time…”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to make small talk.\", \"描述\": \"Making small talk is a way of sharing general information with another person as a means to learn what you might have in common. For example, asking about favorite movies is often a good way to find mutual interests. Something as simple as asking about the recent blockbuster can lead into multiple conversational paths.\\nMaking small talk might lead to deeper conversations, or it might not. Small talk is often less about the information shared than the good feelings that it provides.\\nYou’ll want to stick to non-intimate, non-controversial topics to keep your conversation on a light note.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Talk about the party or setting.\", \"描述\": \"One of the things you’ll have in common with everyone else at the party is that you’re both there. Perhaps you all had to battle traffic to get to the party. Use this as a means to get to know other people, whether through questions, comments, or observations.\\nBe unfailingly complimentary in your comments. This would be the wrong time to complain about the lack of your favorite drink, or how you’ve always hated evening gatherings.\\nYou could ask other people how they know the hostess, or if this is their first time among the group also.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be an active listener.\", \"描述\": \"When you're nervous about not knowing anyone at a party, it might be difficult to concentrate on the conversations that come up. It will help your focus to repeat parts of what another person has said to assure them you've heard what was said. Use nonverbal cues, such as nodding, eye contact, and leaning towards the person, to let the other guest know that you're actively listening to what she has to say.\\nTry to avoid talking over the other person while she’s talking, even if she’s talking about a topic you’re interested in.\\nAsk plenty of open-ended questions about topics the other guest has brought up in order to keep the conversation going.\\nBe sensitive to the emotions that the conversation is bringing up in the person. Generally, party conversations tend to be fun and light. If you find your conversation getting too intense or emotional, it's okay to back off a little.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to feedback to choose topics of conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Look for subtle signals in body language to help you gauge whether you should change the topic or find someone new to talk with. Be observant--these are signs you should be able to notice in almost everyone you meet.\\nFor example, if someone is making eye contact with you and nodding, they're interested in the conversation. Keep talking to them and doing what you're doing!\\nIf they're facing partially away from you or glancing around the room, they're not very engaged. Change the topic back to them with a question or find another person you haven't yet introduced yourself to.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"End the conversation\", \"描述\": \"Conversations at parties start and end rapidly, and if you’re talking with someone you’ve just met, it’s a good idea not to keep the conversation going on too long.\\nHave an excuse prepared for needing to leave. This is a time when it’s okay not to tell the truth.\\nYou can always say, “I have to get up early tomorrow,” or even just, “Please, excuse me. I need to find the ladies’.”\\nYou can say, “It was nice to meet you,” or “Great talking to you!” Some people like to shake hands, but at some parties this might be too formal.\\nIf you like, you can include an excuse for breaking off the conversation. For example, you can say, “I don’t want to dominate your evening,” or “I should probably let you talk to other people here.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing With Large Parties\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize that you need to be more assertive.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll need to speak with a louder voice if you want to be heard. You’ll need to let others know that you’d like to talk by physically moving closer to them than you might at a quieter party.\\nLarge parties are often more chaotic, with people interrupting one another, or talking quickly to make sure they get their point across.\\nOne way to effectively join in a group conversation is to repeat the last phrase that another person said, and join it with your own thoughts. For example, if someone’s just shared a story about being in Paris in April, you might echo, “Yes, Paris in April is beautiful, and for my college graduation, I was able to go to Rome, which I thought was wonderfully diverse.”\\nTopics often change very quickly in a group conversation, so don’t worry too much about being exactly on topic. Being friendly is the main consideration.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get into a party state of mind.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re the kind of person who’d rather be at home with a book, you might have a hard time adapting to being in a large group of people. Each person has her own way of getting energized for a party. You might listen to the music, and try to get into the rhythm of it. Or, you can think of party scenes from some of your favorite movies, and imagine yourself in the role of the heroine.\\nEven if you’re not totally at ease about being at the party, trying act as if you’re comfortable can help speed the process. (This is sometimes called, “Fake it until you make it!”)\\nIf you find yourself getting drained, make an excuse to get away for a short time. Taking a break by yourself can be a way for an introvert to recharge her batteries and return to the party refreshed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept that you’re unlikely to have a quiet conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If you really appreciate the kind of focused conversation that can happen between two people who know each other well, you’ll have to adjust to the fact that this isn’t likely to happen at the large party. Rather than becoming grumpy about what’s not going to happen, it’s a better idea to rescale your expectations.\\nConversations in groups tend to be very broad, about a wide range of rapidly shifting topics. The goal of party conversations tends to be less on exchange of information and ideas, than on sharing a common good feeling.\\nGood conversational choices for talking in groups include: short funny anecdotes, joking around, wordplay.\\nTopics to avoid include: detailed analysis of a topic, anything that might unintentionally offend others, including political discussion, or discussions of religious faith and practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start a side conversation.\", \"描述\": \"In a large group of people, you can sometimes find conversation easier by addressing one person, rather than the whole group. Little side conversations often break off of larger group conversations, either related to the topic the larger group is discussing or completely unrelated.\\nIt’s okay to talk while others are talking when you’re in a large group; it’s not rude to have a side conversation.\\nSometimes the conversation might end abruptly if the group conversation shifts to something more interesting. It’s okay to move back and forth between the small side conversation and the larger group conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Notice if you can help someone else.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re attentive, you may notice that there’s another person who can’t make his way into the conversational flow. See if you can signal your willingness to help him by making eye contact with him, nodding or smiling.\\nSometimes you can help support another person who’s trying to make a point. For example, by asking a clarifying question about the subject he’s brought up or restating what he’s said in a new way.\\nIf you’re good at talking in groups, make sure that you’re not taking up too much of everyone’s attention. One way to do this is to use your skills to help others join in the discussion.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you don't know who to talk to, find a group having a conversation, smile, and ask if they mind if you join them.[23]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLynda JeanCertified Image Consultant\\nExpert Interview. 17 November 2020.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,173 | How to Be Social with People You Don't Know | 1. Initiating a Conversation
1-1. Find a conversation partner.
Scan the room and see if there is anyone else who appears approachable and/ or to be hanging out by herself. You can then slowly make your way towards her to start up a conversation.
Ask your host beforehand if there is anyone else there who isn’t normally part of the group. You can keep an eye out for this person and mention that your host suggested you talk.
Look for cues that the other person doesn’t know anyone, too. This includes scanning the room or standing in the corner away from the crowd. Even if you notice that another person approaches your intended conversation mate, you can also join the two of them and start a conversation.
Remember that it’s important to take initiative in situations where you don’t know other people. Not only can it draw people to you, but also make you seem approachable.
1-2. Join a group.
In some cases, you may be at a large event like a conference or wedding where people tend to congregate in groups. Gradually ease yourself into the crowd of people with whom you’d like to engage and then take the opportunity to make a statement and introduce yourself.
Stand by a member of the group until you make eye contact and can introduce yourself.
Listen to the conversation for a few minutes as you try and join the group. You can start by standing a bit to the outside of the group and move in slowly by saying, “May I move in a bit? I’m really interested in what’s being said.”
1-3. Break the ice.
Once you’ve found a person or group with whom you want to socialize, you’ll need to relieve the tension of approaching someone you don’t know. Find a general or clever statement that can kick off a conversation.
Figure out things to say before you actually get to the person. For example, if you see an individual you’d like to talk to, notice something that the person is wearing or doing as a way to break the ice. For example, you could say “There are so many accountants in one space- this lawyer feels like a fish out of water.”
Turn to the person standing next to you and make a funny comment or compliment. For example, if someone makes a controversial statement you could say “Did I just hear him correctly?” or “I couldn’t keep my eyes off of your beautiful bag.”
1-4. Introduce yourself.
After you’ve broken the ice, introduce yourself to your conversation mate or mates. Make sure to ask for the other person’s name and repeat it. Not only does this show your interest in the person, but it can also help you remember the person’s name.
Say something brief about yourself. For example, try "Hi, my name is Catherine and I’m new to the office. I work in the public relations division. What’s your name and where do you work?"
Try commenting on the person’s name to help you remember it and further break the ice. For example, you could say "Krishna is such a beautiful and unusual name. What is its origin?” or "Alex, you and my dearest cousin share a name!"
Consider introducing yourself to one person in a group and asking for an introduction to the rest of the participants.
2. Keeping the Conversation Going
2-1. Find a common interest.
It can be relatively easy to keep a conversation going once you’ve introduced yourself by finding something that ties you to the other person. Draw on the common situation or something you notice about the person to hold the person’s interest. Your conversation partner may also be able to introduce you to others with similar interests.
Notice what the person is wearing or something else about them. For example, you could say “I noticed you have the new iPad Air. My model is four years old and I’m in the market for a new one. How do you like that one?” or “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re reading the same book as me. What do you think of it?”
Use the situation to your benefit. For example, if you are at a sporting event say “Are you here participating or watching?” At a work event you could say, “I work in sales and marketing, where do you work?”
You can also have a few fun questions in the back of your mind you can ask just to make conversation, like "What were you like in highs school" or "What's something that someone would be really surprised to learn about you?"
2-2. Compliment the person.
Most people love flattery. Find something nice about the person to say and compliment it. This can help stimulate further conversation and may help you meet other people, too.
Make sure your compliment is sincere. Most people can tell when someone is feeding them a line and it may turn the person off of you and the conversation.
Focus your compliment on something about their appearance, demeanor, or item they own. For example, you can say “I couldn’t help but staring at that beautiful nail color,” or “That was a beautiful talk! You are so eloquent and engaging,” or “I see you have the latest Android. I’ve been trying to get my hands on it and can’t. I’m totally jealous you have it!”
Thank the person if they compliment you back. You can use this as a way to invite them to get to know you better.
2-3. Listen intently.
Ask questions and repeat key points during the conversation. Not only does this show that you’re listening closely, but also that you are interested in the person or group.
Use natural pauses in the conversation to ask questions about something the person has said. You can also repeat an item as a part of your question. For example, you could say “You said that you’re headed to a remote region of Nepal for business. Where are you going? I’ve been to Nepal before and might be able to offer some tips on things to see and do.”
Recognize any changes to the overall tone or demeanor, which can signal you to ask a question or offer a statement. For example, if the person appears hesitant to say something you could say “You mentioned that one of your duties is to check up on lab ethics. How do you find balance if you encounter a bad situation?”
2-4. Offer information about yourself.
A good conversation is all about balance between each conversation partner. Make sure that you have a chance to talk and let the person or group know something about you and your interests.
Allow the conversation to flow naturally and offer information at the right moment. For example, if the group is talking about something that you work on or have interest in, you could say “That’s a really interesting point, Sara. I’ve been working on a similar issue and have noticed the same patterns. Has anyone else here seen them?”
Give your opinion or make statements without being overbearing or interrupting others. For example, you can say "I see your point, but I don't share it. I believe that it's right for every person to have the same right to work."
Make sure the information you offer about yourself is similar to what others tell about themselves. For example, if the conversation is strictly related to work, keep your comments to your professional life and don’t add anything about your personal situation.
It helps some people to always have in mind five things about themselves they think are interesting, that they feel comfortable revealing and sharing.
2-5. Be sincere.
Most people don’t like being around someone who acts fake. One of the best ways to attract people to socialize with you is by keeping your comments and questions sincere.
Acknowledge what the other person or members of a group are saying. For example, you could say “I really understand where you are coming from on that point, Edward.”
Try and talk about different topics. Since you don’t know the people, consider keeping the conversation light and funny.
2-6. Use discretion.
Avoid giving away too much information or talking about others when you’re with people you don’t know. Saying too much may make people uncomfortable and want to stay away from you.
Keep comments that might be offensive or touch on a sensitive topic to yourself. It’s often a good idea to keep your views on politics or religion to yourself when you’re with a group or person who you don’t know.
Ask honest questions if you’re unsure of something. For example, you could say “I thought stem cell research was fairly controversial within the evangelical community. Could you tell me a little bit more about it?”
Remember to not say anything negative about others. If you’re among people you don’t know, you unlikely don’t know who is friends with whom. Refrain from making any negative comments or agreeing with something mean someone else says. You can get yourself out of these situations by saying something like “Oh, I don’t know him, so I don’t have anything to add.”
3. Excusing Yourself Politely
3-1. Make a common excuse.
Chances are that you’ll want or need to end a conversation with a person or people you don’t know. Make up a common excuse to get you out of the conversation and leave the experience positive. You might tell the others that you are:
Going to grab another drink or some more food.
Making an important phone call.
Heading to the restroom.
Getting some fresh air.
3-2. Use an interruption to your benefit.
If something or someone interrupts your conversation, take it as end your interaction. This can help you find another person or group with whom to socialize or bring into the conversation.
Recognize natural pauses in the conversation. If there are a lot of “ums” and “ahs,” this may be your cue to excuse yourself. You could say “oh, I just realized how late it is” after looking at a clock or your watch or “I’ve really enjoyed talking, but I need to excuse myself and go to the restroom.”
Look for a common item in the room that jogs your memory. For example, say “wow, I didn’t realize that the buffet is closing down so early. I need to grab something to eat because I haven’t had dinner yet,” after glancing towards the food.
See if there is anyone else with whom you’ve chatted at the event and mention the person to your conversation partner. For example, you could say “You know, I was just talking to that gentleman Tom about this same thing. Maybe we could make our way in that direction and get his views. He had a really interesting take on the matter.”
3-3. Consider the person’s time.
Frame your exit as beneficial to your conversation mate or mates. You can make comments such as “I don’t want to monopolize your time” to signal that you’re ready to finish the conversation.
Excuse yourself with phrases such as “I’m sure don’t want me to monopolize your time with all of these interesting people around. I’ll let you go in the hope that we’ll see each other again soon.”
3-4. Get contact information.
Ask the person or group for a way to stay in contact or follow up on the conversation. This can naturally cue them that you need to excuse yourself and that the chat is over.
Ask the person for their email address or phone number because you’d like to continue the conversation. If you’re in a business setting, you can ask if the person has a business card. Let the person know you’ll follow up to figure out a way to meet again.
Take a quick glance at the information and confirm it back to the person, which shows that you respect her.
Make sure to follow up with the person if you’ve said you will contact her for coffee or another conversation.
3-5. Return to the original subject.
Bringing the conversation back to what you first discussed can help end the exchange. Repeat the person’s name in your final comment and consider asking a question to end on a positive note.
Keep this transition natural by asking a question related to what broke the ice. For example, you could say “Sara, I’m so sorry but I have a terrible memory and can’t remember the name of that nail polish. Could you please tell me again?” After she mentions it, tell her “I need to find my phone and put the name in before I forget it again.”
Tips
Be confident, honest, and yourself.
Warnings
Avoid sharing contact information with a person who makes you uncomfortable.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Initiating a Conversation\\n1-1. Find a conversation partner.\\nScan the room and see if there is anyone else who appears approachable and/ or to be hanging out by herself. You can then slowly make your way towards her to start up a conversation.\\nAsk your host beforehand if there is anyone else there who isn’t normally part of the group. You can keep an eye out for this person and mention that your host suggested you talk.\\nLook for cues that the other person doesn’t know anyone, too. This includes scanning the room or standing in the corner away from the crowd. Even if you notice that another person approaches your intended conversation mate, you can also join the two of them and start a conversation.\\nRemember that it’s important to take initiative in situations where you don’t know other people. Not only can it draw people to you, but also make you seem approachable.\\n1-2. Join a group.\\nIn some cases, you may be at a large event like a conference or wedding where people tend to congregate in groups. Gradually ease yourself into the crowd of people with whom you’d like to engage and then take the opportunity to make a statement and introduce yourself.\\nStand by a member of the group until you make eye contact and can introduce yourself.\\nListen to the conversation for a few minutes as you try and join the group. You can start by standing a bit to the outside of the group and move in slowly by saying, “May I move in a bit? I’m really interested in what’s being said.”\\n1-3. Break the ice.\\nOnce you’ve found a person or group with whom you want to socialize, you’ll need to relieve the tension of approaching someone you don’t know. Find a general or clever statement that can kick off a conversation.\\nFigure out things to say before you actually get to the person. For example, if you see an individual you’d like to talk to, notice something that the person is wearing or doing as a way to break the ice. For example, you could say “There are so many accountants in one space- this lawyer feels like a fish out of water.”\\nTurn to the person standing next to you and make a funny comment or compliment. For example, if someone makes a controversial statement you could say “Did I just hear him correctly?” or “I couldn’t keep my eyes off of your beautiful bag.”\\n1-4. Introduce yourself.\\nAfter you’ve broken the ice, introduce yourself to your conversation mate or mates. Make sure to ask for the other person’s name and repeat it. Not only does this show your interest in the person, but it can also help you remember the person’s name. \\nSay something brief about yourself. For example, try \\\"Hi, my name is Catherine and I’m new to the office. I work in the public relations division. What’s your name and where do you work?\\\"\\nTry commenting on the person’s name to help you remember it and further break the ice. For example, you could say \\\"Krishna is such a beautiful and unusual name. What is its origin?” or \\\"Alex, you and my dearest cousin share a name!\\\"\\nConsider introducing yourself to one person in a group and asking for an introduction to the rest of the participants.\\n2. Keeping the Conversation Going\\n2-1. Find a common interest.\\nIt can be relatively easy to keep a conversation going once you’ve introduced yourself by finding something that ties you to the other person. Draw on the common situation or something you notice about the person to hold the person’s interest. Your conversation partner may also be able to introduce you to others with similar interests.\\nNotice what the person is wearing or something else about them. For example, you could say “I noticed you have the new iPad Air. My model is four years old and I’m in the market for a new one. How do you like that one?” or “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re reading the same book as me. What do you think of it?”\\nUse the situation to your benefit. For example, if you are at a sporting event say “Are you here participating or watching?” At a work event you could say, “I work in sales and marketing, where do you work?”\\nYou can also have a few fun questions in the back of your mind you can ask just to make conversation, like \\\"What were you like in highs school\\\" or \\\"What's something that someone would be really surprised to learn about you?\\\"\\n2-2. Compliment the person.\\nMost people love flattery. Find something nice about the person to say and compliment it. This can help stimulate further conversation and may help you meet other people, too.\\nMake sure your compliment is sincere. Most people can tell when someone is feeding them a line and it may turn the person off of you and the conversation.\\nFocus your compliment on something about their appearance, demeanor, or item they own. For example, you can say “I couldn’t help but staring at that beautiful nail color,” or “That was a beautiful talk! You are so eloquent and engaging,” or “I see you have the latest Android. I’ve been trying to get my hands on it and can’t. I’m totally jealous you have it!”\\nThank the person if they compliment you back. You can use this as a way to invite them to get to know you better.\\n2-3. Listen intently.\\nAsk questions and repeat key points during the conversation. Not only does this show that you’re listening closely, but also that you are interested in the person or group.\\nUse natural pauses in the conversation to ask questions about something the person has said. You can also repeat an item as a part of your question. For example, you could say “You said that you’re headed to a remote region of Nepal for business. Where are you going? I’ve been to Nepal before and might be able to offer some tips on things to see and do.”\\nRecognize any changes to the overall tone or demeanor, which can signal you to ask a question or offer a statement. For example, if the person appears hesitant to say something you could say “You mentioned that one of your duties is to check up on lab ethics. How do you find balance if you encounter a bad situation?”\\n2-4. Offer information about yourself.\\nA good conversation is all about balance between each conversation partner. Make sure that you have a chance to talk and let the person or group know something about you and your interests.\\nAllow the conversation to flow naturally and offer information at the right moment. For example, if the group is talking about something that you work on or have interest in, you could say “That’s a really interesting point, Sara. I’ve been working on a similar issue and have noticed the same patterns. Has anyone else here seen them?”\\nGive your opinion or make statements without being overbearing or interrupting others. For example, you can say \\\"I see your point, but I don't share it. I believe that it's right for every person to have the same right to work.\\\"\\nMake sure the information you offer about yourself is similar to what others tell about themselves. For example, if the conversation is strictly related to work, keep your comments to your professional life and don’t add anything about your personal situation.\\nIt helps some people to always have in mind five things about themselves they think are interesting, that they feel comfortable revealing and sharing.\\n2-5. Be sincere.\\nMost people don’t like being around someone who acts fake. One of the best ways to attract people to socialize with you is by keeping your comments and questions sincere.\\nAcknowledge what the other person or members of a group are saying. For example, you could say “I really understand where you are coming from on that point, Edward.”\\nTry and talk about different topics. Since you don’t know the people, consider keeping the conversation light and funny.\\n2-6. Use discretion.\\nAvoid giving away too much information or talking about others when you’re with people you don’t know. Saying too much may make people uncomfortable and want to stay away from you.\\nKeep comments that might be offensive or touch on a sensitive topic to yourself. It’s often a good idea to keep your views on politics or religion to yourself when you’re with a group or person who you don’t know.\\nAsk honest questions if you’re unsure of something. For example, you could say “I thought stem cell research was fairly controversial within the evangelical community. Could you tell me a little bit more about it?”\\nRemember to not say anything negative about others. If you’re among people you don’t know, you unlikely don’t know who is friends with whom. Refrain from making any negative comments or agreeing with something mean someone else says. You can get yourself out of these situations by saying something like “Oh, I don’t know him, so I don’t have anything to add.”\\n3. Excusing Yourself Politely\\n3-1. Make a common excuse.\\nChances are that you’ll want or need to end a conversation with a person or people you don’t know. Make up a common excuse to get you out of the conversation and leave the experience positive. You might tell the others that you are:\\nGoing to grab another drink or some more food.\\nMaking an important phone call.\\nHeading to the restroom.\\nGetting some fresh air.\\n3-2. Use an interruption to your benefit.\\nIf something or someone interrupts your conversation, take it as end your interaction. This can help you find another person or group with whom to socialize or bring into the conversation.\\nRecognize natural pauses in the conversation. If there are a lot of “ums” and “ahs,” this may be your cue to excuse yourself. You could say “oh, I just realized how late it is” after looking at a clock or your watch or “I’ve really enjoyed talking, but I need to excuse myself and go to the restroom.”\\nLook for a common item in the room that jogs your memory. For example, say “wow, I didn’t realize that the buffet is closing down so early. I need to grab something to eat because I haven’t had dinner yet,” after glancing towards the food.\\nSee if there is anyone else with whom you’ve chatted at the event and mention the person to your conversation partner. For example, you could say “You know, I was just talking to that gentleman Tom about this same thing. Maybe we could make our way in that direction and get his views. He had a really interesting take on the matter.”\\n3-3. Consider the person’s time.\\nFrame your exit as beneficial to your conversation mate or mates. You can make comments such as “I don’t want to monopolize your time” to signal that you’re ready to finish the conversation.\\nExcuse yourself with phrases such as “I’m sure don’t want me to monopolize your time with all of these interesting people around. I’ll let you go in the hope that we’ll see each other again soon.”\\n3-4. Get contact information.\\nAsk the person or group for a way to stay in contact or follow up on the conversation. This can naturally cue them that you need to excuse yourself and that the chat is over.\\nAsk the person for their email address or phone number because you’d like to continue the conversation. If you’re in a business setting, you can ask if the person has a business card. Let the person know you’ll follow up to figure out a way to meet again.\\nTake a quick glance at the information and confirm it back to the person, which shows that you respect her.\\nMake sure to follow up with the person if you’ve said you will contact her for coffee or another conversation.\\n3-5. Return to the original subject.\\nBringing the conversation back to what you first discussed can help end the exchange. Repeat the person’s name in your final comment and consider asking a question to end on a positive note.\\nKeep this transition natural by asking a question related to what broke the ice. For example, you could say “Sara, I’m so sorry but I have a terrible memory and can’t remember the name of that nail polish. Could you please tell me again?” After she mentions it, tell her “I need to find my phone and put the name in before I forget it again.”\\nTips\\nBe confident, honest, and yourself.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid sharing contact information with a person who makes you uncomfortable.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Most people have been in a situation where they don’t know anyone. From a first day at work or work event to a friend’s wedding or dinner party, it can be discouraging trying to socialize with people you don’t know. But chances are, there are other people in a similar situation or who have had the same experience with whom you can talk. By initiating a conversation, keeping it going, and then excusing yourself politely, you can be social with any person who you don’t know.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Initiating a Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a conversation partner.\", \"描述\": \"Scan the room and see if there is anyone else who appears approachable and/ or to be hanging out by herself. You can then slowly make your way towards her to start up a conversation.\\nAsk your host beforehand if there is anyone else there who isn’t normally part of the group. You can keep an eye out for this person and mention that your host suggested you talk.\\nLook for cues that the other person doesn’t know anyone, too. This includes scanning the room or standing in the corner away from the crowd. Even if you notice that another person approaches your intended conversation mate, you can also join the two of them and start a conversation.\\nRemember that it’s important to take initiative in situations where you don’t know other people. Not only can it draw people to you, but also make you seem approachable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a group.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, you may be at a large event like a conference or wedding where people tend to congregate in groups. Gradually ease yourself into the crowd of people with whom you’d like to engage and then take the opportunity to make a statement and introduce yourself.\\nStand by a member of the group until you make eye contact and can introduce yourself.\\nListen to the conversation for a few minutes as you try and join the group. You can start by standing a bit to the outside of the group and move in slowly by saying, “May I move in a bit? I’m really interested in what’s being said.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Break the ice.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve found a person or group with whom you want to socialize, you’ll need to relieve the tension of approaching someone you don’t know. Find a general or clever statement that can kick off a conversation.\\nFigure out things to say before you actually get to the person. For example, if you see an individual you’d like to talk to, notice something that the person is wearing or doing as a way to break the ice. For example, you could say “There are so many accountants in one space- this lawyer feels like a fish out of water.”\\nTurn to the person standing next to you and make a funny comment or compliment. For example, if someone makes a controversial statement you could say “Did I just hear him correctly?” or “I couldn’t keep my eyes off of your beautiful bag.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"After you’ve broken the ice, introduce yourself to your conversation mate or mates. Make sure to ask for the other person’s name and repeat it. Not only does this show your interest in the person, but it can also help you remember the person’s name. \\nSay something brief about yourself. For example, try \\\"Hi, my name is Catherine and I’m new to the office. I work in the public relations division. What’s your name and where do you work?\\\"\\nTry commenting on the person’s name to help you remember it and further break the ice. For example, you could say \\\"Krishna is such a beautiful and unusual name. What is its origin?” or \\\"Alex, you and my dearest cousin share a name!\\\"\\nConsider introducing yourself to one person in a group and asking for an introduction to the rest of the participants.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping the Conversation Going\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a common interest.\", \"描述\": \"It can be relatively easy to keep a conversation going once you’ve introduced yourself by finding something that ties you to the other person. Draw on the common situation or something you notice about the person to hold the person’s interest. Your conversation partner may also be able to introduce you to others with similar interests.\\nNotice what the person is wearing or something else about them. For example, you could say “I noticed you have the new iPad Air. My model is four years old and I’m in the market for a new one. How do you like that one?” or “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re reading the same book as me. What do you think of it?”\\nUse the situation to your benefit. For example, if you are at a sporting event say “Are you here participating or watching?” At a work event you could say, “I work in sales and marketing, where do you work?”\\nYou can also have a few fun questions in the back of your mind you can ask just to make conversation, like \\\"What were you like in highs school\\\" or \\\"What's something that someone would be really surprised to learn about you?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment the person.\", \"描述\": \"Most people love flattery. Find something nice about the person to say and compliment it. This can help stimulate further conversation and may help you meet other people, too.\\nMake sure your compliment is sincere. Most people can tell when someone is feeding them a line and it may turn the person off of you and the conversation.\\nFocus your compliment on something about their appearance, demeanor, or item they own. For example, you can say “I couldn’t help but staring at that beautiful nail color,” or “That was a beautiful talk! You are so eloquent and engaging,” or “I see you have the latest Android. I’ve been trying to get my hands on it and can’t. I’m totally jealous you have it!”\\nThank the person if they compliment you back. You can use this as a way to invite them to get to know you better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen intently.\", \"描述\": \"Ask questions and repeat key points during the conversation. Not only does this show that you’re listening closely, but also that you are interested in the person or group.\\nUse natural pauses in the conversation to ask questions about something the person has said. You can also repeat an item as a part of your question. For example, you could say “You said that you’re headed to a remote region of Nepal for business. Where are you going? I’ve been to Nepal before and might be able to offer some tips on things to see and do.”\\nRecognize any changes to the overall tone or demeanor, which can signal you to ask a question or offer a statement. For example, if the person appears hesitant to say something you could say “You mentioned that one of your duties is to check up on lab ethics. How do you find balance if you encounter a bad situation?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Offer information about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"A good conversation is all about balance between each conversation partner. Make sure that you have a chance to talk and let the person or group know something about you and your interests.\\nAllow the conversation to flow naturally and offer information at the right moment. For example, if the group is talking about something that you work on or have interest in, you could say “That’s a really interesting point, Sara. I’ve been working on a similar issue and have noticed the same patterns. Has anyone else here seen them?”\\nGive your opinion or make statements without being overbearing or interrupting others. For example, you can say \\\"I see your point, but I don't share it. I believe that it's right for every person to have the same right to work.\\\"\\nMake sure the information you offer about yourself is similar to what others tell about themselves. For example, if the conversation is strictly related to work, keep your comments to your professional life and don’t add anything about your personal situation.\\nIt helps some people to always have in mind five things about themselves they think are interesting, that they feel comfortable revealing and sharing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be sincere.\", \"描述\": \"Most people don’t like being around someone who acts fake. One of the best ways to attract people to socialize with you is by keeping your comments and questions sincere.\\nAcknowledge what the other person or members of a group are saying. For example, you could say “I really understand where you are coming from on that point, Edward.”\\nTry and talk about different topics. Since you don’t know the people, consider keeping the conversation light and funny.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use discretion.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid giving away too much information or talking about others when you’re with people you don’t know. Saying too much may make people uncomfortable and want to stay away from you.\\nKeep comments that might be offensive or touch on a sensitive topic to yourself. It’s often a good idea to keep your views on politics or religion to yourself when you’re with a group or person who you don’t know.\\nAsk honest questions if you’re unsure of something. For example, you could say “I thought stem cell research was fairly controversial within the evangelical community. Could you tell me a little bit more about it?”\\nRemember to not say anything negative about others. If you’re among people you don’t know, you unlikely don’t know who is friends with whom. Refrain from making any negative comments or agreeing with something mean someone else says. You can get yourself out of these situations by saying something like “Oh, I don’t know him, so I don’t have anything to add.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Excusing Yourself Politely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a common excuse.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are that you’ll want or need to end a conversation with a person or people you don’t know. Make up a common excuse to get you out of the conversation and leave the experience positive. You might tell the others that you are:\\nGoing to grab another drink or some more food.\\nMaking an important phone call.\\nHeading to the restroom.\\nGetting some fresh air.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use an interruption to your benefit.\", \"描述\": \"If something or someone interrupts your conversation, take it as end your interaction. This can help you find another person or group with whom to socialize or bring into the conversation.\\nRecognize natural pauses in the conversation. If there are a lot of “ums” and “ahs,” this may be your cue to excuse yourself. You could say “oh, I just realized how late it is” after looking at a clock or your watch or “I’ve really enjoyed talking, but I need to excuse myself and go to the restroom.”\\nLook for a common item in the room that jogs your memory. For example, say “wow, I didn’t realize that the buffet is closing down so early. I need to grab something to eat because I haven’t had dinner yet,” after glancing towards the food.\\nSee if there is anyone else with whom you’ve chatted at the event and mention the person to your conversation partner. For example, you could say “You know, I was just talking to that gentleman Tom about this same thing. Maybe we could make our way in that direction and get his views. He had a really interesting take on the matter.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider the person’s time.\", \"描述\": \"Frame your exit as beneficial to your conversation mate or mates. You can make comments such as “I don’t want to monopolize your time” to signal that you’re ready to finish the conversation.\\nExcuse yourself with phrases such as “I’m sure don’t want me to monopolize your time with all of these interesting people around. I’ll let you go in the hope that we’ll see each other again soon.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get contact information.\", \"描述\": \"Ask the person or group for a way to stay in contact or follow up on the conversation. This can naturally cue them that you need to excuse yourself and that the chat is over.\\nAsk the person for their email address or phone number because you’d like to continue the conversation. If you’re in a business setting, you can ask if the person has a business card. Let the person know you’ll follow up to figure out a way to meet again.\\nTake a quick glance at the information and confirm it back to the person, which shows that you respect her.\\nMake sure to follow up with the person if you’ve said you will contact her for coffee or another conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Return to the original subject.\", \"描述\": \"Bringing the conversation back to what you first discussed can help end the exchange. Repeat the person’s name in your final comment and consider asking a question to end on a positive note.\\nKeep this transition natural by asking a question related to what broke the ice. For example, you could say “Sara, I’m so sorry but I have a terrible memory and can’t remember the name of that nail polish. Could you please tell me again?” After she mentions it, tell her “I need to find my phone and put the name in before I forget it again.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be confident, honest, and yourself.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid sharing contact information with a person who makes you uncomfortable.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,174 | How to Be Socially Confident | 1. Creating a Confident Outlook
1-1. Accept your personality.
Many people happen to be introverted, meaning that you're more comfortable spending time alone or with your own thoughts. If this sounds like you, don't force yourself to completely become an outgoing, social person. Doing so can lead to stress, anxiety, and even heart disease. Instead, spend time in social situations you already enjoy and try to have meaningful conversations.
By accepting your introverted nature, you can focus on the quality of your social interactions rather than trying to increase the number of social interactions you have.
1-2. Understand the importance of confidence.
You can become socially confident by engaging other people in a way that interests them and makes them feel heard. These skills, along with the ability to make others feel heard, are known as social competence. Research has shown that improving social competence actually increases positive self-perceptions and acceptance during social situations. Practicing social competence can create opportunities for yourself, since you're more likely to approach others.
How you see yourself is one of the most common factors that influences your confidence. You may think that you're giving off a negative impression to others in social situations, but you're probably just looking for anything to confirm your own beliefs.
1-3. Avoid negative thoughts.
If you don't see yourself as socially confident, it can be easy to look for evidence that confirms your belief, since people prefer experiences to match their predictions. Instead, reframe a situation to challenge how you see yourself. Catch yourself thinking negative thoughts and ask yourself what evidence you see or hear that proves the thought.
For example, imagine you're out and think, "I know everyone here thinks I’m boring because I have nothing interesting to say.” Stop thinking the negative thought and ask yourself what proves that thought without a doubt.
1-4. Test your beliefs.
Once you've started looking for evidence to support how you feel, test the evidence to see if it was caused by other things beyond your control. Don't assume that others’ reactions are caused by you, because this can often leave you feeling deflated. Realize that others’ reactions are a product of themselves and not you. It may be helpful to steer your assumptions in the direction of compassion for the other person while taking a position of caring curiosity about what might be going on with them.
For example, maybe you saw someone make a face, and you thought that they were uninterested in what you were talking about, or you saw someone end a conversation prematurely and run off. Ask yourself if these could be attributed to other things. The person who made the face may not be feeling well or may be uncomfortable in that seat, or may have seen someone he or she was hoping not to run into. The person who rushed out could she have been late for a meeting and forgot to mention it. Or maybe he or she has been stressed and really needed some alone time.
1-5. Express compassion for others.
If you express compassion towards others, you’ll be creating a positive environment when you interact with other people. The more positive social interactions you have, the more you could build your confidence. Being able to pick up on social cues and express empathy, are important parts of engaging meaningfully with others.
For example, if your friend rushes out, you could text or call her later to see if she's alright. She'll most likely appreciate your compassion and understanding.
1-6. Maintain healthy expectations.
At times, people just don't click with each other, even when they make an effort to be social and put themselves forward. It's natural, and everyone goes through this. To build your social confidence, remember that you cannot take responsibility for the way other people feel and act.
If a person you're trying to speak with isn't responding, that's on the other person, not you. Shrug it off and move on. There will be someone who you will click with, or at the very least, have enough social skill to engage in pleasant, polite conversation.
2. Improving Your Social Skills
2-1. Show interest in others.
Try to make others feel comfortable, valued, and heard. The ability to do this is known as social competency, which can also make you appear more confident. Start to become aware of the verbal and nonverbal signals that you send to others. This will help you realize how you can improve your social skills.
For example, maybe you've become aware that avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms at social functions makes others uncomfortable.
2-2. Strengthen nonverbal communication through body language.
Adopt body language that communicates confidence and power, such as power poses. Studies have shown that power poses can increase your confidence and make you appear comfortable. A standing power pose might include a wide stance and hands on the hips or clasped behind the head. This is open and expansive. More examples of confident body language include:
Sitting up tall and expanding your chest to widen your shoulders. Place your hands on a table or spread one across the back of a chair.
Strong body postures with wide stances and open shoulders and arms.
A strong hand shake to connect with others and help people remember who you are.
Smiling to show that you are interested and enjoying yourself.
Making eye contact to let others know that you are listening to them. Most people feel comfortable with making eye contact 60% of the time, leaving the rest of the time for breaks in eye contact to avoid staring.
Still posture, avoiding fidgeting or swaying so you don't look nervous.
2-3. Speak clearly.
To appear confident, speak clearly and at a level in which others can hear you. Adjust the pitch of your voice by speaking in a low tone. Studies show that raising your tone in the middle before returning it to a low tone can portray confidence, assertiveness, and that you aren't asking for approval. Learning to adjust your verbal communication in this way can make you appear more comfortable and confident in social settings. People are also more likely to understand your meaning.
Mumbling is hard to hear causing others to think that you don't want to take part in the conversation or that you're not interested.
2-4. Speak at a reasonable pace.
Make sure the pace with which you speak is slow enough that others can understand you. Sometimes if you are nervous, you may begin speeding up what you are saying. This makes it difficult for others to hear and understand your message. To ensure that your pace of speaking is normal, try to breathe steadily at regular intervals throughout your story.
If you notice yourself speeding up or speaking too fast to begin with, take a pause and a breath before continuing.
2-5. Be an effective listener.
Focus on what the other person is saying and try to imagine yourself in what the person is describing. This can make you more empathetic which will help you come up with an appropriate and thoughtful response to keep the conversation going. Letting the other person speak can remind you that you don't have to carry the burden of conversation all by yourself. It also signals to other people that you respect and care about their opinions, which will give you better social feedback, helping your self-confidence.
If you are nervous, it is tempting to pay attention more to yourself, how nervous you are, and how you will respond. But, this can make other people feel as if you don’t really care to hear what they have to say.
Avoid the urge to interrupt, which you may feel like doing if you're nervous. Instead, pause and save it for when the other person has finished speaking.
3. Practicing Confidence
3-1. Put yourself in social situations.
Practicing confidence in social situations is an important opportunity. Over time, your social skills will improve and grow which can help you gain confidence. Frequently being in social situations will also make you feel more comfortable, which can reduce your anxiety over time. Try putting yourself in different social situations and challenge yourself to start conversations with others.
You could simply say hello, introduce yourself, or make a comment about a mutual friend, your place of work, or the setting. For example, you could say, "Hi, this is a fantastic location for a party. Have you tried any of the food?"
3-2. Role play.
Ask a trusted friend or family member to help you practice social skills. Your friend would pretend to be someone at an event, and you would practice introducing yourself, standing and speaking with confidence, and then ending the conversation. This is a great way to practice a few "go-to" introductions and conversation endings.
For example, an introduction could be, “Hi, I’m Jason, Jeff’s friend,” and then have a list of topics you could start a conversation with. Some ideas include mutual friends, how people know each other or met, or asking others about themselves such as what hobbies they have or their career.
Ending the conversation can be as simple as, “Ok, it was nice seeing you, and I hope to run into you again.”
3-3. Socialize with a friend's help.
Ask a friend to go to a social event with you so you can meet friends of friends. Meeting the friends of a friend is a great way to practice social skills without having to approach and introduce yourself to a stranger. Your friend should simply introduce you and you can join in the conversation when you feel ready.
For example, your friend might say, "Greg, this is my friend Carol. We went to school together." Then, you can let the conversation go on between them or jump in and converse.
3-4. Socialize in new settings.
Once you've begun to feel more confident, branch out and go to places where you don't know anyone. Try to go to places or events where the focus isn't on meeting lots of new people. Look for a small group or event that interests you. This way, you'll have a better opportunity to interact with a small number of people. It can also prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.
For example, if you love to rock climb, you could go to the rock climbing gym, and just strike up a conversation with others that love rock climbing. This way, you have a built-in conversation starter. You could talk about equipment, techniques, trips you've taken etc.
Tips
Your body language sends and receives messages, just by how you sit, hold yourself, smile and how others do these same. Body language includes facial expressions as well as positioning and tension within the body.
Try staying in a comfortable and open position, and stay away from topics that are irrelevant.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Creating a Confident Outlook\\n1-1. Accept your personality.\\nMany people happen to be introverted, meaning that you're more comfortable spending time alone or with your own thoughts. If this sounds like you, don't force yourself to completely become an outgoing, social person. Doing so can lead to stress, anxiety, and even heart disease. Instead, spend time in social situations you already enjoy and try to have meaningful conversations.\\nBy accepting your introverted nature, you can focus on the quality of your social interactions rather than trying to increase the number of social interactions you have.\\n1-2. Understand the importance of confidence.\\nYou can become socially confident by engaging other people in a way that interests them and makes them feel heard. These skills, along with the ability to make others feel heard, are known as social competence. Research has shown that improving social competence actually increases positive self-perceptions and acceptance during social situations. Practicing social competence can create opportunities for yourself, since you're more likely to approach others.\\nHow you see yourself is one of the most common factors that influences your confidence. You may think that you're giving off a negative impression to others in social situations, but you're probably just looking for anything to confirm your own beliefs.\\n1-3. Avoid negative thoughts.\\nIf you don't see yourself as socially confident, it can be easy to look for evidence that confirms your belief, since people prefer experiences to match their predictions. Instead, reframe a situation to challenge how you see yourself. Catch yourself thinking negative thoughts and ask yourself what evidence you see or hear that proves the thought.\\nFor example, imagine you're out and think, \\\"I know everyone here thinks I’m boring because I have nothing interesting to say.” Stop thinking the negative thought and ask yourself what proves that thought without a doubt.\\n1-4. Test your beliefs.\\nOnce you've started looking for evidence to support how you feel, test the evidence to see if it was caused by other things beyond your control. Don't assume that others’ reactions are caused by you, because this can often leave you feeling deflated. Realize that others’ reactions are a product of themselves and not you. It may be helpful to steer your assumptions in the direction of compassion for the other person while taking a position of caring curiosity about what might be going on with them.\\nFor example, maybe you saw someone make a face, and you thought that they were uninterested in what you were talking about, or you saw someone end a conversation prematurely and run off. Ask yourself if these could be attributed to other things. The person who made the face may not be feeling well or may be uncomfortable in that seat, or may have seen someone he or she was hoping not to run into. The person who rushed out could she have been late for a meeting and forgot to mention it. Or maybe he or she has been stressed and really needed some alone time.\\n1-5. Express compassion for others.\\nIf you express compassion towards others, you’ll be creating a positive environment when you interact with other people. The more positive social interactions you have, the more you could build your confidence. Being able to pick up on social cues and express empathy, are important parts of engaging meaningfully with others.\\nFor example, if your friend rushes out, you could text or call her later to see if she's alright. She'll most likely appreciate your compassion and understanding.\\n1-6. Maintain healthy expectations.\\nAt times, people just don't click with each other, even when they make an effort to be social and put themselves forward. It's natural, and everyone goes through this. To build your social confidence, remember that you cannot take responsibility for the way other people feel and act.\\nIf a person you're trying to speak with isn't responding, that's on the other person, not you. Shrug it off and move on. There will be someone who you will click with, or at the very least, have enough social skill to engage in pleasant, polite conversation.\\n2. Improving Your Social Skills\\n2-1. Show interest in others.\\nTry to make others feel comfortable, valued, and heard. The ability to do this is known as social competency, which can also make you appear more confident. Start to become aware of the verbal and nonverbal signals that you send to others. This will help you realize how you can improve your social skills.\\nFor example, maybe you've become aware that avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms at social functions makes others uncomfortable.\\n2-2. Strengthen nonverbal communication through body language.\\nAdopt body language that communicates confidence and power, such as power poses. Studies have shown that power poses can increase your confidence and make you appear comfortable. A standing power pose might include a wide stance and hands on the hips or clasped behind the head. This is open and expansive. More examples of confident body language include:\\nSitting up tall and expanding your chest to widen your shoulders. Place your hands on a table or spread one across the back of a chair.\\nStrong body postures with wide stances and open shoulders and arms.\\nA strong hand shake to connect with others and help people remember who you are.\\nSmiling to show that you are interested and enjoying yourself.\\nMaking eye contact to let others know that you are listening to them. Most people feel comfortable with making eye contact 60% of the time, leaving the rest of the time for breaks in eye contact to avoid staring.\\nStill posture, avoiding fidgeting or swaying so you don't look nervous.\\n2-3. Speak clearly.\\nTo appear confident, speak clearly and at a level in which others can hear you. Adjust the pitch of your voice by speaking in a low tone. Studies show that raising your tone in the middle before returning it to a low tone can portray confidence, assertiveness, and that you aren't asking for approval. Learning to adjust your verbal communication in this way can make you appear more comfortable and confident in social settings. People are also more likely to understand your meaning.\\nMumbling is hard to hear causing others to think that you don't want to take part in the conversation or that you're not interested.\\n2-4. Speak at a reasonable pace.\\nMake sure the pace with which you speak is slow enough that others can understand you. Sometimes if you are nervous, you may begin speeding up what you are saying. This makes it difficult for others to hear and understand your message. To ensure that your pace of speaking is normal, try to breathe steadily at regular intervals throughout your story.\\nIf you notice yourself speeding up or speaking too fast to begin with, take a pause and a breath before continuing.\\n2-5. Be an effective listener.\\nFocus on what the other person is saying and try to imagine yourself in what the person is describing. This can make you more empathetic which will help you come up with an appropriate and thoughtful response to keep the conversation going. Letting the other person speak can remind you that you don't have to carry the burden of conversation all by yourself. It also signals to other people that you respect and care about their opinions, which will give you better social feedback, helping your self-confidence.\\nIf you are nervous, it is tempting to pay attention more to yourself, how nervous you are, and how you will respond. But, this can make other people feel as if you don’t really care to hear what they have to say.\\nAvoid the urge to interrupt, which you may feel like doing if you're nervous. Instead, pause and save it for when the other person has finished speaking.\\n3. Practicing Confidence\\n3-1. Put yourself in social situations.\\nPracticing confidence in social situations is an important opportunity. Over time, your social skills will improve and grow which can help you gain confidence. Frequently being in social situations will also make you feel more comfortable, which can reduce your anxiety over time. Try putting yourself in different social situations and challenge yourself to start conversations with others.\\nYou could simply say hello, introduce yourself, or make a comment about a mutual friend, your place of work, or the setting. For example, you could say, \\\"Hi, this is a fantastic location for a party. Have you tried any of the food?\\\"\\n3-2. Role play.\\nAsk a trusted friend or family member to help you practice social skills. Your friend would pretend to be someone at an event, and you would practice introducing yourself, standing and speaking with confidence, and then ending the conversation. This is a great way to practice a few \\\"go-to\\\" introductions and conversation endings.\\nFor example, an introduction could be, “Hi, I’m Jason, Jeff’s friend,” and then have a list of topics you could start a conversation with. Some ideas include mutual friends, how people know each other or met, or asking others about themselves such as what hobbies they have or their career.\\nEnding the conversation can be as simple as, “Ok, it was nice seeing you, and I hope to run into you again.”\\n3-3. Socialize with a friend's help.\\nAsk a friend to go to a social event with you so you can meet friends of friends. Meeting the friends of a friend is a great way to practice social skills without having to approach and introduce yourself to a stranger. Your friend should simply introduce you and you can join in the conversation when you feel ready.\\nFor example, your friend might say, \\\"Greg, this is my friend Carol. We went to school together.\\\" Then, you can let the conversation go on between them or jump in and converse.\\n3-4. Socialize in new settings.\\nOnce you've begun to feel more confident, branch out and go to places where you don't know anyone. Try to go to places or events where the focus isn't on meeting lots of new people. Look for a small group or event that interests you. This way, you'll have a better opportunity to interact with a small number of people. It can also prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.\\nFor example, if you love to rock climb, you could go to the rock climbing gym, and just strike up a conversation with others that love rock climbing. This way, you have a built-in conversation starter. You could talk about equipment, techniques, trips you've taken etc.\\nTips\\nYour body language sends and receives messages, just by how you sit, hold yourself, smile and how others do these same. Body language includes facial expressions as well as positioning and tension within the body.\\nTry staying in a comfortable and open position, and stay away from topics that are irrelevant.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you the person sitting in the corner at the party hoping no one will come up and talk to you? If this sounds like you, realize that you're not alone. If you want to become more socially confident, you need to create a confident outlook and practice improving your social skills. With any luck, you'll be the person approaching the wallflower at your next party.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Creating a Confident Outlook\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept your personality.\", \"描述\": \"Many people happen to be introverted, meaning that you're more comfortable spending time alone or with your own thoughts. If this sounds like you, don't force yourself to completely become an outgoing, social person. Doing so can lead to stress, anxiety, and even heart disease. Instead, spend time in social situations you already enjoy and try to have meaningful conversations.\\nBy accepting your introverted nature, you can focus on the quality of your social interactions rather than trying to increase the number of social interactions you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand the importance of confidence.\", \"描述\": \"You can become socially confident by engaging other people in a way that interests them and makes them feel heard. These skills, along with the ability to make others feel heard, are known as social competence. Research has shown that improving social competence actually increases positive self-perceptions and acceptance during social situations. Practicing social competence can create opportunities for yourself, since you're more likely to approach others.\\nHow you see yourself is one of the most common factors that influences your confidence. You may think that you're giving off a negative impression to others in social situations, but you're probably just looking for anything to confirm your own beliefs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't see yourself as socially confident, it can be easy to look for evidence that confirms your belief, since people prefer experiences to match their predictions. Instead, reframe a situation to challenge how you see yourself. Catch yourself thinking negative thoughts and ask yourself what evidence you see or hear that proves the thought.\\nFor example, imagine you're out and think, \\\"I know everyone here thinks I’m boring because I have nothing interesting to say.” Stop thinking the negative thought and ask yourself what proves that thought without a doubt.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Test your beliefs.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've started looking for evidence to support how you feel, test the evidence to see if it was caused by other things beyond your control. Don't assume that others’ reactions are caused by you, because this can often leave you feeling deflated. Realize that others’ reactions are a product of themselves and not you. It may be helpful to steer your assumptions in the direction of compassion for the other person while taking a position of caring curiosity about what might be going on with them.\\nFor example, maybe you saw someone make a face, and you thought that they were uninterested in what you were talking about, or you saw someone end a conversation prematurely and run off. Ask yourself if these could be attributed to other things. The person who made the face may not be feeling well or may be uncomfortable in that seat, or may have seen someone he or she was hoping not to run into. The person who rushed out could she have been late for a meeting and forgot to mention it. Or maybe he or she has been stressed and really needed some alone time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Express compassion for others.\", \"描述\": \"If you express compassion towards others, you’ll be creating a positive environment when you interact with other people. The more positive social interactions you have, the more you could build your confidence. Being able to pick up on social cues and express empathy, are important parts of engaging meaningfully with others.\\nFor example, if your friend rushes out, you could text or call her later to see if she's alright. She'll most likely appreciate your compassion and understanding.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain healthy expectations.\", \"描述\": \"At times, people just don't click with each other, even when they make an effort to be social and put themselves forward. It's natural, and everyone goes through this. To build your social confidence, remember that you cannot take responsibility for the way other people feel and act.\\nIf a person you're trying to speak with isn't responding, that's on the other person, not you. Shrug it off and move on. There will be someone who you will click with, or at the very least, have enough social skill to engage in pleasant, polite conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Social Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show interest in others.\", \"描述\": \"Try to make others feel comfortable, valued, and heard. The ability to do this is known as social competency, which can also make you appear more confident. Start to become aware of the verbal and nonverbal signals that you send to others. This will help you realize how you can improve your social skills.\\nFor example, maybe you've become aware that avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms at social functions makes others uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strengthen nonverbal communication through body language.\", \"描述\": \"Adopt body language that communicates confidence and power, such as power poses. Studies have shown that power poses can increase your confidence and make you appear comfortable. A standing power pose might include a wide stance and hands on the hips or clasped behind the head. This is open and expansive. More examples of confident body language include:\\nSitting up tall and expanding your chest to widen your shoulders. Place your hands on a table or spread one across the back of a chair.\\nStrong body postures with wide stances and open shoulders and arms.\\nA strong hand shake to connect with others and help people remember who you are.\\nSmiling to show that you are interested and enjoying yourself.\\nMaking eye contact to let others know that you are listening to them. Most people feel comfortable with making eye contact 60% of the time, leaving the rest of the time for breaks in eye contact to avoid staring.\\nStill posture, avoiding fidgeting or swaying so you don't look nervous.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly.\", \"描述\": \"To appear confident, speak clearly and at a level in which others can hear you. Adjust the pitch of your voice by speaking in a low tone. Studies show that raising your tone in the middle before returning it to a low tone can portray confidence, assertiveness, and that you aren't asking for approval. Learning to adjust your verbal communication in this way can make you appear more comfortable and confident in social settings. People are also more likely to understand your meaning.\\nMumbling is hard to hear causing others to think that you don't want to take part in the conversation or that you're not interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Speak at a reasonable pace.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure the pace with which you speak is slow enough that others can understand you. Sometimes if you are nervous, you may begin speeding up what you are saying. This makes it difficult for others to hear and understand your message. To ensure that your pace of speaking is normal, try to breathe steadily at regular intervals throughout your story.\\nIf you notice yourself speeding up or speaking too fast to begin with, take a pause and a breath before continuing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be an effective listener.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on what the other person is saying and try to imagine yourself in what the person is describing. This can make you more empathetic which will help you come up with an appropriate and thoughtful response to keep the conversation going. Letting the other person speak can remind you that you don't have to carry the burden of conversation all by yourself. It also signals to other people that you respect and care about their opinions, which will give you better social feedback, helping your self-confidence.\\nIf you are nervous, it is tempting to pay attention more to yourself, how nervous you are, and how you will respond. But, this can make other people feel as if you don’t really care to hear what they have to say.\\nAvoid the urge to interrupt, which you may feel like doing if you're nervous. Instead, pause and save it for when the other person has finished speaking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in social situations.\", \"描述\": \"Practicing confidence in social situations is an important opportunity. Over time, your social skills will improve and grow which can help you gain confidence. Frequently being in social situations will also make you feel more comfortable, which can reduce your anxiety over time. Try putting yourself in different social situations and challenge yourself to start conversations with others.\\nYou could simply say hello, introduce yourself, or make a comment about a mutual friend, your place of work, or the setting. For example, you could say, \\\"Hi, this is a fantastic location for a party. Have you tried any of the food?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Role play.\", \"描述\": \"Ask a trusted friend or family member to help you practice social skills. Your friend would pretend to be someone at an event, and you would practice introducing yourself, standing and speaking with confidence, and then ending the conversation. This is a great way to practice a few \\\"go-to\\\" introductions and conversation endings.\\nFor example, an introduction could be, “Hi, I’m Jason, Jeff’s friend,” and then have a list of topics you could start a conversation with. Some ideas include mutual friends, how people know each other or met, or asking others about themselves such as what hobbies they have or their career.\\nEnding the conversation can be as simple as, “Ok, it was nice seeing you, and I hope to run into you again.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Socialize with a friend's help.\", \"描述\": \"Ask a friend to go to a social event with you so you can meet friends of friends. Meeting the friends of a friend is a great way to practice social skills without having to approach and introduce yourself to a stranger. Your friend should simply introduce you and you can join in the conversation when you feel ready.\\nFor example, your friend might say, \\\"Greg, this is my friend Carol. We went to school together.\\\" Then, you can let the conversation go on between them or jump in and converse.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Socialize in new settings.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've begun to feel more confident, branch out and go to places where you don't know anyone. Try to go to places or events where the focus isn't on meeting lots of new people. Look for a small group or event that interests you. This way, you'll have a better opportunity to interact with a small number of people. It can also prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.\\nFor example, if you love to rock climb, you could go to the rock climbing gym, and just strike up a conversation with others that love rock climbing. This way, you have a built-in conversation starter. You could talk about equipment, techniques, trips you've taken etc.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Your body language sends and receives messages, just by how you sit, hold yourself, smile and how others do these same. Body language includes facial expressions as well as positioning and tension within the body.\\n\", \"Try staying in a comfortable and open position, and stay away from topics that are irrelevant.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,175 | How to Be Someone's Guardian Angel | 1. Identifying How You Can Help People
1-1. Identify any special talents and skills that you possess.
The things that you know how to do well may be a good way for you to help someone. Consider your talents and any special skills that you possess and that you could put to use to help someone. Some things that might be useful to others include:
Knowledge of tax preparation to help someone do their taxes.
Writing abilities to help someone craft a good resume.
Knowledge of a subject to help someone prepare for a test.
Knowledge of home repairs to help someone fix something in their home.
Knowledge of video games and streaming platforms to help fundraise for charity
1-2. Assess your financial situation.
If you have the financial freedom to help someone with things like food, rent, utility costs, or other necessities, then this may also be a great way to help. Think about your financial situation and figure out how much money you could potentially give someone who is in need of help.
For example, if you usually have enough money left over from your basic expenses to save $200.00, then you might consider using this money to help someone buy groceries or pay their heating bill for one month.
Don’t worry if you do not have much money to help someone with. Even a small amount, such as $5.00 may be a huge help to someone. However, there are other ways to help if you can’t give money at all.
1-3. Consider your other resources.
Owning certain resources may give you opportunities to help people in need. Take stock of what you own that might be useful to someone else. Some things you might use to benefit someone else include:
A spare room in your home.
Extra clothes and shoes that you can loan or donate to someone.
A vehicle that you don't use anymore
A lawnmower to help someone care for his or her lawn.
1-4. Note anything else that you have to offer.
You might have some other ways that you can help someone who is in need of help. Try to think about any other skills or assets that you can use to benefit others. Some other ways you might help someone include:
Spending some of your spare time with someone who is lonely, such as an elderly friend or relative who is living alone or in a nursing home.
Offering to run errands for someone who is housebound.
Providing free child care to a single mother who cannot afford a babysitter.
2. Identifying People in Need of Help
2-1. Identify people who are in need of financial help.
If you have a friend or acquaintance who is struggling financially, then this person may benefit from your help. You might consider offering financial assistance to help the person if you can, or you might look for other ways to help this person using your skills or assets.
Some people may feel uncomfortable if you make a big deal of helping them financially. Try to be subtle about offering financial help. For example, if you notice that a friend is struggling to afford her basic needs each month, such as food, rent, and utilities, then you might try inviting her to dinner once per week and send her home with some leftovers. You can say something like, “I will never be able to eat all of this extra food! Can you please take some home with you?”
Be direct and considerate if you want to give someone money. If you want to offer money to someone, then you might say something like, “I have noticed that you are struggling. I care about you and I want to help. Will you please let me give you some money to help with your groceries this month?”
2-2. Look out for major emotional and life changes.
People who are struggling emotionally may also benefit from your help. If you see someone who is going through a difficult time, offer to spend time with them, talk with them, and support them however you can.
For example, if you have a friend who seems depressed, then you might offer to help by saying something like, “I have noticed that you seem a little down lately. Do you want to talk about it? I am always here for you if you need me.”
2-3. Offer your help if someone asks.
Try to be on the lookout for opportunities to help people, but you can also help someone who asks for your help. This might be someone who you know well or it might be a stranger. But being willing to help when someone asks you is a great way to be that person’s guardian angel.
For example, if a friend calls you and asks if you can talk, then take some time to meet up with her and find out what is going on. If a homeless person asks if you can spare a dollar, give the person a dollar if you can.
3. Providing Support to an Individual Who Needs It
3-1. Empathize without claiming to have had the same experience.
When providing emotional support, it’s important to try to understand what the situation is like for the person you are helping. Set aside your own opinions, and sympathize with their perspective.
That said, you should not talk over them and relate one of your own “similar” experiences; this will come across as insensitive or even sound like you are boasting or placing your emotional needs above theirs.
3-2. Listen to what they have to say.
When this person wants to talk, listen without providing advice or input of your own. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do for someone is just to listen to what they’re going through, without trying to interrupt or judge their situation.
Don’t brush them off or say that you don’t have time to hear what they have to say.
Often acknowledging people’s pain and sadness is worth more than all the advice and guidance you might have in store.
3-3. Provide physical assistance for someone.
Although many of the ways in which you can support an individual are through emotional support, there are ways in which you can physically be a “guardian angel.” Perhaps you could even donate blood if they have an illness with medical repercussions. Ask the person you are helping:
“Can I help by driving you to the grocery store or other errands?”
“Would it be helpful if I went to doctor appointments with you?”
4. Supporting Someone Over Time
4-1. Remind someone that you care about them.
Showing that you care about someone’s emotional and physical well-being is an important gesture; it lets them know that they can continue to come to you for emotional support, and that there is trust and familiarity in the relationship. To remind someone you care, try:
Send them a card or an email reminding them they’re on your mind.
Come straight out and say something like, “You’re an important part of my life.”
4-2. Suggest professional help if someone shows signs of depression.
While supporting the people in your life is a valuable interpersonal skill, it does not replace a need for professional mental care. If the person you are caring for suffers from depression or another type of mental illness, they may need more assistance than your support provides.
Focus on how you can help the person rather than trying to solve their problems for them. For example, if the person has lost his home and job, then you can help the person with a job search, but do not do the job search work for him. Sit down with him and help him with the search, application process, deciding what to wear for an interview, etc.
Do not try to replace a medical or mental health professional. For example, if the person has schizophrenia, then do not try to manage the person’s condition without medical assistance.
4-3. Be available for someone to vent to.
By supporting this individual, you have made a decision to support them over a long period of time. There will be setbacks and difficult times—when this person wants to express frustration, sadness, or is upset, be there for them.
When this person is angry, let them cry or vent, rather than trying to improve their emotions or make them feel happy.
If this person feels like their situation is hopeless, assure them that they will pull through regardless of how tough things seem right now. Try saying something like, “I know things might seem bad right now, but this is only a temporary setback. Things will get better.”
5. Practicing Random Acts of Kindness
5-1. Treat an individual with spontaneous kindness.
You can still be a “guardian angel” for an individual (or individuals) that you don’t see often through showing love and kindness. All of these things can make a positive difference in someone’s day-to-day life. Try something like:
Smile or hold the door open for someone.
Say something optimistic to a person who seems down.
5-2. Notice if a stranger is struggling.
If someone that you don’t know seems to be having a difficult time physically or emotionally, kindly offer to help. The kindness of can mean a lot to a person in a difficult situation.
If you see someone in a crowded location who is struggling to carry their bags or possessions, offer to help them carry something.
If you see someone walking in adverse weather conditions, stop your car and offer to give them a lift (if you feel safe doing so).
If you see someone upset or crying in public, ask them, “Is everything alright?” and offer them a tissue.
Always treat people with courtesy, and don’t presume that they will want your help. If you offer your assistance and someone declines, do not press the issue.
5-3. Form a routine of performing kindnesses.
Rather than approaching random acts of kindness as an incidental, unplanned activity, make it a part of your daily (or weekly) routine. You don’t have to go out of your way to do this; simply show kindness to those in your life or who you meet.
Talk to your co-workers and compliment them when they do a job well.
Once a week, buy groceries for someone who needs the financial help, like a student or single parent.
Tips
If you are playing the role of a “guardian angel,” you may need someone to support and encourage you, as well. It’s a two-way street; when you feel stressed or disheartened, let someone return the favor and comfort you.
The person you are helping may not express gratitude for what you’ve done. If this happens, don’t feel hurt, but understand that you’ve provided important emotional support.
Warnings
It’s important to confirm that the individual you are helping wants this support. If they make it clear that they do not want your help or emotional support, you should back off.
Be careful not to nurture others to the point of exhausting yourself or harming your own mental health.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Identifying How You Can Help People\\n1-1. Identify any special talents and skills that you possess.\\nThe things that you know how to do well may be a good way for you to help someone. Consider your talents and any special skills that you possess and that you could put to use to help someone. Some things that might be useful to others include: \\nKnowledge of tax preparation to help someone do their taxes.\\nWriting abilities to help someone craft a good resume.\\nKnowledge of a subject to help someone prepare for a test.\\nKnowledge of home repairs to help someone fix something in their home.\\nKnowledge of video games and streaming platforms to help fundraise for charity\\n1-2. Assess your financial situation.\\nIf you have the financial freedom to help someone with things like food, rent, utility costs, or other necessities, then this may also be a great way to help. Think about your financial situation and figure out how much money you could potentially give someone who is in need of help. \\nFor example, if you usually have enough money left over from your basic expenses to save $200.00, then you might consider using this money to help someone buy groceries or pay their heating bill for one month.\\nDon’t worry if you do not have much money to help someone with. Even a small amount, such as $5.00 may be a huge help to someone. However, there are other ways to help if you can’t give money at all.\\n1-3. Consider your other resources.\\nOwning certain resources may give you opportunities to help people in need. Take stock of what you own that might be useful to someone else. Some things you might use to benefit someone else include:\\nA spare room in your home.\\nExtra clothes and shoes that you can loan or donate to someone.\\nA vehicle that you don't use anymore\\nA lawnmower to help someone care for his or her lawn.\\n1-4. Note anything else that you have to offer.\\nYou might have some other ways that you can help someone who is in need of help. Try to think about any other skills or assets that you can use to benefit others. Some other ways you might help someone include: \\nSpending some of your spare time with someone who is lonely, such as an elderly friend or relative who is living alone or in a nursing home.\\nOffering to run errands for someone who is housebound.\\nProviding free child care to a single mother who cannot afford a babysitter.\\n2. Identifying People in Need of Help\\n2-1. Identify people who are in need of financial help.\\nIf you have a friend or acquaintance who is struggling financially, then this person may benefit from your help. You might consider offering financial assistance to help the person if you can, or you might look for other ways to help this person using your skills or assets.\\nSome people may feel uncomfortable if you make a big deal of helping them financially. Try to be subtle about offering financial help. For example, if you notice that a friend is struggling to afford her basic needs each month, such as food, rent, and utilities, then you might try inviting her to dinner once per week and send her home with some leftovers. You can say something like, “I will never be able to eat all of this extra food! Can you please take some home with you?”\\nBe direct and considerate if you want to give someone money. If you want to offer money to someone, then you might say something like, “I have noticed that you are struggling. I care about you and I want to help. Will you please let me give you some money to help with your groceries this month?”\\n2-2. Look out for major emotional and life changes.\\nPeople who are struggling emotionally may also benefit from your help. If you see someone who is going through a difficult time, offer to spend time with them, talk with them, and support them however you can.\\nFor example, if you have a friend who seems depressed, then you might offer to help by saying something like, “I have noticed that you seem a little down lately. Do you want to talk about it? I am always here for you if you need me.”\\n2-3. Offer your help if someone asks.\\nTry to be on the lookout for opportunities to help people, but you can also help someone who asks for your help. This might be someone who you know well or it might be a stranger. But being willing to help when someone asks you is a great way to be that person’s guardian angel.\\nFor example, if a friend calls you and asks if you can talk, then take some time to meet up with her and find out what is going on. If a homeless person asks if you can spare a dollar, give the person a dollar if you can.\\n3. Providing Support to an Individual Who Needs It\\n3-1. Empathize without claiming to have had the same experience.\\nWhen providing emotional support, it’s important to try to understand what the situation is like for the person you are helping. Set aside your own opinions, and sympathize with their perspective.\\nThat said, you should not talk over them and relate one of your own “similar” experiences; this will come across as insensitive or even sound like you are boasting or placing your emotional needs above theirs.\\n3-2. Listen to what they have to say.\\nWhen this person wants to talk, listen without providing advice or input of your own. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do for someone is just to listen to what they’re going through, without trying to interrupt or judge their situation.\\nDon’t brush them off or say that you don’t have time to hear what they have to say.\\nOften acknowledging people’s pain and sadness is worth more than all the advice and guidance you might have in store.\\n3-3. Provide physical assistance for someone.\\nAlthough many of the ways in which you can support an individual are through emotional support, there are ways in which you can physically be a “guardian angel.” Perhaps you could even donate blood if they have an illness with medical repercussions. Ask the person you are helping: \\n“Can I help by driving you to the grocery store or other errands?”\\n“Would it be helpful if I went to doctor appointments with you?”\\n4. Supporting Someone Over Time\\n4-1. Remind someone that you care about them.\\nShowing that you care about someone’s emotional and physical well-being is an important gesture; it lets them know that they can continue to come to you for emotional support, and that there is trust and familiarity in the relationship. To remind someone you care, try: \\nSend them a card or an email reminding them they’re on your mind.\\nCome straight out and say something like, “You’re an important part of my life.”\\n4-2. Suggest professional help if someone shows signs of depression.\\nWhile supporting the people in your life is a valuable interpersonal skill, it does not replace a need for professional mental care. If the person you are caring for suffers from depression or another type of mental illness, they may need more assistance than your support provides. \\nFocus on how you can help the person rather than trying to solve their problems for them. For example, if the person has lost his home and job, then you can help the person with a job search, but do not do the job search work for him. Sit down with him and help him with the search, application process, deciding what to wear for an interview, etc.\\nDo not try to replace a medical or mental health professional. For example, if the person has schizophrenia, then do not try to manage the person’s condition without medical assistance.\\n4-3. Be available for someone to vent to.\\nBy supporting this individual, you have made a decision to support them over a long period of time. There will be setbacks and difficult times—when this person wants to express frustration, sadness, or is upset, be there for them.\\nWhen this person is angry, let them cry or vent, rather than trying to improve their emotions or make them feel happy.\\nIf this person feels like their situation is hopeless, assure them that they will pull through regardless of how tough things seem right now. Try saying something like, “I know things might seem bad right now, but this is only a temporary setback. Things will get better.”\\n5. Practicing Random Acts of Kindness\\n5-1. Treat an individual with spontaneous kindness.\\nYou can still be a “guardian angel” for an individual (or individuals) that you don’t see often through showing love and kindness. All of these things can make a positive difference in someone’s day-to-day life. Try something like: \\nSmile or hold the door open for someone.\\nSay something optimistic to a person who seems down.\\n5-2. Notice if a stranger is struggling.\\nIf someone that you don’t know seems to be having a difficult time physically or emotionally, kindly offer to help. The kindness of can mean a lot to a person in a difficult situation. \\nIf you see someone in a crowded location who is struggling to carry their bags or possessions, offer to help them carry something.\\nIf you see someone walking in adverse weather conditions, stop your car and offer to give them a lift (if you feel safe doing so).\\nIf you see someone upset or crying in public, ask them, “Is everything alright?” and offer them a tissue.\\nAlways treat people with courtesy, and don’t presume that they will want your help. If you offer your assistance and someone declines, do not press the issue.\\n5-3. Form a routine of performing kindnesses.\\nRather than approaching random acts of kindness as an incidental, unplanned activity, make it a part of your daily (or weekly) routine. You don’t have to go out of your way to do this; simply show kindness to those in your life or who you meet.\\nTalk to your co-workers and compliment them when they do a job well.\\nOnce a week, buy groceries for someone who needs the financial help, like a student or single parent.\\nTips\\nIf you are playing the role of a “guardian angel,” you may need someone to support and encourage you, as well. It’s a two-way street; when you feel stressed or disheartened, let someone return the favor and comfort you.\\nThe person you are helping may not express gratitude for what you’ve done. If this happens, don’t feel hurt, but understand that you’ve provided important emotional support.\\nWarnings\\nIt’s important to confirm that the individual you are helping wants this support. If they make it clear that they do not want your help or emotional support, you should back off.\\nBe careful not to nurture others to the point of exhausting yourself or harming your own mental health.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"From time to time, someone in your life will go through a difficult time that distresses and upsets them. Whether the root of the problem is psychological, financial, or related to their career or relationships, this person may ask you to offer them warmth and support. If someone that you know or care for is going through a time of difficulty in their life, you may need to play the part of their “guardian angel”: an individual who can watch over and comfort this person who is unhappy and suffering. By deciding how someone needs assistance and being there for them through a difficult time, you can provide major emotional support to a person in need.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identifying How You Can Help People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify any special talents and skills that you possess.\", \"描述\": \"The things that you know how to do well may be a good way for you to help someone. Consider your talents and any special skills that you possess and that you could put to use to help someone. Some things that might be useful to others include: \\nKnowledge of tax preparation to help someone do their taxes.\\nWriting abilities to help someone craft a good resume.\\nKnowledge of a subject to help someone prepare for a test.\\nKnowledge of home repairs to help someone fix something in their home.\\nKnowledge of video games and streaming platforms to help fundraise for charity\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assess your financial situation.\", \"描述\": \"If you have the financial freedom to help someone with things like food, rent, utility costs, or other necessities, then this may also be a great way to help. Think about your financial situation and figure out how much money you could potentially give someone who is in need of help. \\nFor example, if you usually have enough money left over from your basic expenses to save $200.00, then you might consider using this money to help someone buy groceries or pay their heating bill for one month.\\nDon’t worry if you do not have much money to help someone with. Even a small amount, such as $5.00 may be a huge help to someone. However, there are other ways to help if you can’t give money at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider your other resources.\", \"描述\": \"Owning certain resources may give you opportunities to help people in need. Take stock of what you own that might be useful to someone else. Some things you might use to benefit someone else include:\\nA spare room in your home.\\nExtra clothes and shoes that you can loan or donate to someone.\\nA vehicle that you don't use anymore\\nA lawnmower to help someone care for his or her lawn.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Note anything else that you have to offer.\", \"描述\": \"You might have some other ways that you can help someone who is in need of help. Try to think about any other skills or assets that you can use to benefit others. Some other ways you might help someone include: \\nSpending some of your spare time with someone who is lonely, such as an elderly friend or relative who is living alone or in a nursing home.\\nOffering to run errands for someone who is housebound.\\nProviding free child care to a single mother who cannot afford a babysitter.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Identifying People in Need of Help\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify people who are in need of financial help.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a friend or acquaintance who is struggling financially, then this person may benefit from your help. You might consider offering financial assistance to help the person if you can, or you might look for other ways to help this person using your skills or assets.\\nSome people may feel uncomfortable if you make a big deal of helping them financially. Try to be subtle about offering financial help. For example, if you notice that a friend is struggling to afford her basic needs each month, such as food, rent, and utilities, then you might try inviting her to dinner once per week and send her home with some leftovers. You can say something like, “I will never be able to eat all of this extra food! Can you please take some home with you?”\\nBe direct and considerate if you want to give someone money. If you want to offer money to someone, then you might say something like, “I have noticed that you are struggling. I care about you and I want to help. Will you please let me give you some money to help with your groceries this month?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look out for major emotional and life changes.\", \"描述\": \"People who are struggling emotionally may also benefit from your help. If you see someone who is going through a difficult time, offer to spend time with them, talk with them, and support them however you can.\\nFor example, if you have a friend who seems depressed, then you might offer to help by saying something like, “I have noticed that you seem a little down lately. Do you want to talk about it? I am always here for you if you need me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offer your help if someone asks.\", \"描述\": \"Try to be on the lookout for opportunities to help people, but you can also help someone who asks for your help. This might be someone who you know well or it might be a stranger. But being willing to help when someone asks you is a great way to be that person’s guardian angel.\\nFor example, if a friend calls you and asks if you can talk, then take some time to meet up with her and find out what is going on. If a homeless person asks if you can spare a dollar, give the person a dollar if you can.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Providing Support to an Individual Who Needs It\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Empathize without claiming to have had the same experience.\", \"描述\": \"When providing emotional support, it’s important to try to understand what the situation is like for the person you are helping. Set aside your own opinions, and sympathize with their perspective.\\nThat said, you should not talk over them and relate one of your own “similar” experiences; this will come across as insensitive or even sound like you are boasting or placing your emotional needs above theirs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to what they have to say.\", \"描述\": \"When this person wants to talk, listen without providing advice or input of your own. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do for someone is just to listen to what they’re going through, without trying to interrupt or judge their situation.\\nDon’t brush them off or say that you don’t have time to hear what they have to say.\\nOften acknowledging people’s pain and sadness is worth more than all the advice and guidance you might have in store.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Provide physical assistance for someone.\", \"描述\": \"Although many of the ways in which you can support an individual are through emotional support, there are ways in which you can physically be a “guardian angel.” Perhaps you could even donate blood if they have an illness with medical repercussions. Ask the person you are helping: \\n“Can I help by driving you to the grocery store or other errands?”\\n“Would it be helpful if I went to doctor appointments with you?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Supporting Someone Over Time\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remind someone that you care about them.\", \"描述\": \"Showing that you care about someone’s emotional and physical well-being is an important gesture; it lets them know that they can continue to come to you for emotional support, and that there is trust and familiarity in the relationship. To remind someone you care, try: \\nSend them a card or an email reminding them they’re on your mind.\\nCome straight out and say something like, “You’re an important part of my life.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Suggest professional help if someone shows signs of depression.\", \"描述\": \"While supporting the people in your life is a valuable interpersonal skill, it does not replace a need for professional mental care. If the person you are caring for suffers from depression or another type of mental illness, they may need more assistance than your support provides. \\nFocus on how you can help the person rather than trying to solve their problems for them. For example, if the person has lost his home and job, then you can help the person with a job search, but do not do the job search work for him. Sit down with him and help him with the search, application process, deciding what to wear for an interview, etc.\\nDo not try to replace a medical or mental health professional. For example, if the person has schizophrenia, then do not try to manage the person’s condition without medical assistance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be available for someone to vent to.\", \"描述\": \"By supporting this individual, you have made a decision to support them over a long period of time. There will be setbacks and difficult times—when this person wants to express frustration, sadness, or is upset, be there for them.\\nWhen this person is angry, let them cry or vent, rather than trying to improve their emotions or make them feel happy.\\nIf this person feels like their situation is hopeless, assure them that they will pull through regardless of how tough things seem right now. Try saying something like, “I know things might seem bad right now, but this is only a temporary setback. Things will get better.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practicing Random Acts of Kindness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treat an individual with spontaneous kindness.\", \"描述\": \"You can still be a “guardian angel” for an individual (or individuals) that you don’t see often through showing love and kindness. All of these things can make a positive difference in someone’s day-to-day life. Try something like: \\nSmile or hold the door open for someone.\\nSay something optimistic to a person who seems down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Notice if a stranger is struggling.\", \"描述\": \"If someone that you don’t know seems to be having a difficult time physically or emotionally, kindly offer to help. The kindness of can mean a lot to a person in a difficult situation. \\nIf you see someone in a crowded location who is struggling to carry their bags or possessions, offer to help them carry something.\\nIf you see someone walking in adverse weather conditions, stop your car and offer to give them a lift (if you feel safe doing so).\\nIf you see someone upset or crying in public, ask them, “Is everything alright?” and offer them a tissue.\\nAlways treat people with courtesy, and don’t presume that they will want your help. If you offer your assistance and someone declines, do not press the issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Form a routine of performing kindnesses.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than approaching random acts of kindness as an incidental, unplanned activity, make it a part of your daily (or weekly) routine. You don’t have to go out of your way to do this; simply show kindness to those in your life or who you meet.\\nTalk to your co-workers and compliment them when they do a job well.\\nOnce a week, buy groceries for someone who needs the financial help, like a student or single parent.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you are playing the role of a “guardian angel,” you may need someone to support and encourage you, as well. It’s a two-way street; when you feel stressed or disheartened, let someone return the favor and comfort you.\\n\", \"The person you are helping may not express gratitude for what you’ve done. If this happens, don’t feel hurt, but understand that you’ve provided important emotional support.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"It’s important to confirm that the individual you are helping wants this support. If they make it clear that they do not want your help or emotional support, you should back off.\\n\", \"Be careful not to nurture others to the point of exhausting yourself or harming your own mental health.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,176 | How to Be Someone Else | 1. Researching Someone Else
1-1. Analyze why you want to be somebody else.
Ask yourself what the reasons are behind your desire to change. Write down the reasons you come up with. This way you can discover the root of your problem. Once you know where the wish to be someone else is coming from, you can solve the problem's source.
Don't base your need to become someone else off of a few isolated events. Challenges and undesirable circumstances happen to all of us every now and then. We all make mistakes and try to learn from them regularly as well.
If there is a clear and repeating pattern to your experiences or relationships that provides clues to where you could improve, then use that information to your advantage. Explore where relationships broke down or what you have been criticized for.
1-2. Ask yourself what you want to change.
You have looked at what is happening around you that makes you want to be someone else; you need to consider your personal feelings as well. If certain things are bothering you, find out what they are and how you can make them better.
If you're not happy with yourself, figure out why. Are you overweight? Have a nervous disposition? Disorganized?
If you are merely bored with the way things are and want a change, reflect on what exactly you are not satisfied with. Is it your relationship? Your job? Your house or car? The weather? Focus on the area that you want to change.
1-3. Focus on ways to improve.
You know what needs to change so you can be who you want to be. Now you need to brainstorm ways to fix or make the problem better.
If you need to lose weight to feel healthy and happy then concentrate on that. Start going to the gym, lower your fat and carbohydrate intake and get engaged in a social group for support.
If you suffer from anxiety, then seek help from a professional, practice meditation and take opportunities to practice being assertive.
If you are tired of people calling you boring, do something adventurous like sky diving, mountain climbing, sailing or learning to fly a plane.
If you're unhappy with your romantic partner, do something new together, find ways to connect and appreciate each other, go to counseling or consider moving on.
If you're sick of your job, get a new one or go back to school to learn new skills so you can get the job of your dreams and earn the house and car that you want. Move away if you are unhappy with where you're at because it rains too much or gets too cold.
1-4. Find out whom you want emulate.
You have a pretty good idea what you don't want to be. Now it's time to think about the kind of life you want and the kind of person you want to be. Reflect on the behavior, beliefs and values of those you admire to learn how to be successful in all areas of your life.
You probably admire someone—a character from a movie or book, a celebrity, sports figure, family member, or a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Do you want to be like your favorite TV character? Or like your girlfriend or boyfriend? Once you narrow down whom it is you want to be like, you can begin to develop character traits for self-improvement based off of their example. Spend more time with them if you are able to, in order to get a true feel of what they are like.
Select good personal qualities that will make your life better, not worse. Ending up in jail or driving away the people in your life that matter will not help you feel better. If you do change yourself, make sure you develop personality traits that increase your chances of being well-liked. You might want to be more interesting, sympathetic, or charming, for instance.
1-5. Make sure the traits you want to develop are sustainable.
You need to be able to keep up these good qualities long-term until they become a part of who you are. Lying to people about what you can do or who you are is not the best way to go. People won't trust you when they eventually see the truth, so it's best to tell them now. You'll also feel more comfortable with yourself and around others if you remain true to yourself.
Don't act like a wealthy person when you only have a few dollars in your pocket and can't afford dinner for two, let alone that vacation to Hawaii.
Don't pretend to know about cars to get a date and happen to end up on the side of the road with a blown out tire you don't know how to change.
Likewise, learn to play an instrument or cook before attempting to impress someone with your know-how.
1-6. Research everything about the character you admire.
It takes knowledge, dedication and practice to become someone other than who you are right now. It is easier if you have an example to work toward. You'll need to do some serious investigation to uncover clues that will teach you how to be similar.
Read autobiographies, biographies, stories, and articles about or by the person you admire. Also, check out fan and personal websites.
Observe them on video and pay attention to the qualities that you want to take on, such as appearance and style, how they interact and communicate, how they behave under pressure and how they appear to others. Are they confident, respectful, friendly, positive, compassionate, or powerful?
Try to meet the person who inspires you. If you can chat with the person you want to be at an event, conference, or other location, even better. Try to get to know who they really are, how they got where they are, and whether they might have any advice.
2. Becoming Someone Else
2-1. Set goals
You need to know what you want and how to get there. You want to make changes to become someone different than yourself at the moment.
To come up with a goal, first you need to figure out where exactly you are trying to get to and what the end result needs to be. For example, you want to be more self-confident like your favorite female sports player. You want to be able to be great at tennis, basketball, football or compete in the Olympics.
A goal is not just what you want but something you are willing to work toward. You need to ask yourself if you can work toward the end goal. Are you willing to work out, building muscle, practicing every day? This will tell you how badly you want something.
Don't set yourself up for failure. Even though there are many tools that can help, such as motivating books and support groups, you're the only one who can change you. There's no magic pill–it will take work and dedication.
2-2. Start with the easiest changes.
It is a big transformation to become someone else. You will want to focus first on the traits and behavior that you can modify with the least work so that you don't get overwhelmed. As you get used to adopting new characteristics, you can move on to the more difficult changes that will take the most time and energy to master.
Changing your appearance is usually a lot easier than altering years of learned habits. It can also go a long way toward making you feel different enough to motivate you to change other factors.
Changes that come more naturally will be easier. For example, if you have always been polite, then going out of your way to be extra polite will not take that much more effort. If you like to smile and laugh, then remembering to smile as much as possible throughout the day will probably be fairly easy.
Embrace the challenge. Some things can be very difficult to overcome. For example, if you're usually a timid person who keeps to themselves, then waving and saying “Hi” to strangers may be uncomfortable at first.
Know that with every challenge you accept and complete successfully, you will be closer to becoming the person you want to be.
2-3. Change your style.
How we present ourselves to the outside world dictates not only first impressions but often how we are perceived and treated. If you want to stand out, then wear clothing, colors, or haircuts that make you look different than other people.
If you want to be perceived a certain way, such as wealthy or a professional, dress and look the part. If you want to be seen as laid back and down-to-earth, you may want to dress down.
If you normally wear glasses, have long, brown hair and don't wear makeup, think about how you might update your appearance. Cut your hair into a funky, short style and dye it a bold color like red, purple, blonde, or deep black. Get contacts or pick up chic-styled frames.
Pick up some guides on creative ways to do your makeup and practice different looks.
Buy new clothes. Think about what the new character you have decided to become would want to wear. Choose flattering options and wear what feels good to you. You probably want your appearance to go along with the positive new attributes you are working on.
2-4. Pay attention to how you present yourself.
We get impressions about people from more than their clothes or hair style. We see how they move, their gestures, and facial expressions, and form opinions about them based on those.
Watch how you move. The way a person moves can have a huge impact on how others perceive them. Move with confidence and poise.
Put on the outfit and shoes you will be wearing in public. Practice walking in high heels if they are part of your new look. Watch yourself in a mirror to see how you swing your arms and sway your hips.
Watch your expressions in the mirror. Practice smiling, laughing, and appearing engaged. See if you can hold a conversation with your new self.
You may also want to record yourself and watch it on video to see where you might improve your communication skills and body language. If you habitually twirl your hair, for example, consider whether this is a desirable trait for your new character. If not, make a deliberate attempt not to carry on this habit.
2-5. Change your role.
Use everything you've learned to become someone else. Make choices that will move you closer to your goal of becoming a new person.
Try on different qualities from people you admire. Go out to the store and be the high-energy, social butterfly that is curious about strangers and cracks jokes. Be the hero who can overcome any obstacle. Go out and train until you win a race.
If you're stuck in a job position that seems to go nowhere, then get a completely new position doing something you enjoy more, or use your past experience to move up to a higher level role for another company. Open your own business or take on a student role for a while so you can become a doctor, lawyer, or something else. Move to another city with more opportunities for your skill sets.
If you've always been the one who gets stepped on in relationships, be the one who knows what they do or don't want in the relationship first. Cultivate trust, mutual respect, and demand that you be treated as an equal. Learn to walk away from people and things that don't benefit you. Make sure you know how to protect yourself so that people don't walk all over you.
3. Living As Someone Else
3-1. Keep practicing.
Some traits, changes and approaches will take time to learn to do naturally. Remember, becoming someone else doesn't happen overnight. You will need to find out what you want, how to do it and keep at it until it works for you.
Focus on getting your characteristics down. You want the way you look, act, and the things you do to be second nature and part of your new identity. Practice regularly in multiple situations, roles, and relationships. Eventually, you won't have to work at it anymore because it will become a part of who you are.
Participate in a new activity or hobby regularly, preferably outside of your comfort zone. This will stretch your horizons and allow you to learn to adapt to new situations and experiences more quickly.
Know your limitations. Some things cannot be safely altered and should not be, such as body type, height, foot size, finger length, or skin color, among others. Accept what you cannot change and spend your energy working on the things you can.
3-2. Stop judging.
What we fear other people think about us are often the things that we dislike, criticize or judge about other people. Be less judgmental to free yourself and others from this burden. It is hard to learn from others or grow as a person if you're always feeling envious about another's successes.
Resist the urge to be critical of others as well as yourself and start being an objective observer. Find out how others deal with failure, challenges, and try to integrate all these good qualities into your developing personality.
Recognize when you do a good job, handle a social situation successfully, or influence people in positive ways. Pin down how you did it, what you did that helped, and maybe what you did that didn't help.
3-3. Adapt.
You will likely have to tailor certain qualities, styles, and roles to suit you. Sometimes things won't work for you and that's fine. Have the strength to throw out what won't serve your transformation positively and focus on those that will.
If you have long black hair and want long blonde hair, know that repeated processing over time will likely damage your hair. You may need to keep it short instead of long to avoid breakage and a scraggly look. Consider using dark hair to your advantage and adding some beautiful highlights that look gorgeous against your deep hair color.
If you are 5' and rather stocky, maybe you shouldn't expend a lot of energy to become a supermodel or famous basketball player—though there's always a chance. Try being a face model, kickboxer, or a jockey instead. The trick is to problem-solve and adapt the quality you want to suit any limitations.
3-4. Have fun.
Don't take things personally. Some people may not understand what you are doing or why and could make fun of you. Embrace how far you have come and who you have become. Soon, the old you will be forgotten and the person you have worked so hard to become will truly be who you are.
When dealing with ridicule, think about how the person you admire would react and respond. Hopefully, you will do the right thing in this situation, too.
It's hard to have fun if you're always worrying about how you appear to other people. Most social interaction is not defined by rigid rules, and people are not waiting to make fun of you if you do something that isn't considered normal. Just go along with the flow of the conversation and if you need to pause to think, do so.
Tips
Don't force qualities so much that they become undesirable, such as self-confidence that becomes arrogance or being so tough that you are seen as aggressive and overly “macho”.[12]
X
Research source
It is easier to enhance your own qualities and skills than to take on someone else's. You are special and deserve to be the best “you” that you can be. Work on making yourself who you want to be first before attempting to become someone else. You never know, you could be happy living life as yourself.
Remember that even your heroes and the people you admire are human and cannot be perfect. They all have problems, insecurities and failures just like you.
Warnings
Being obsessed with another person is not healthy. If you find that you can't stop thinking about someone else, believe you have a special connection to someone you don't really know and desperately need to become them, you should consider seeking professional help.
Don't be devastated if someone you admire is not how you pictured them or doesn't live up to your expectations. Even being who they are can't solve all their own problems. Remember that and don't be so hard on yourself.
Be careful when you attempt to imitate someone else exactly. Your imitation could be offensive to that person you admire, and others may not respect you as being unique. That is best to develop your own character than to imitate others.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Researching Someone Else\\n1-1. Analyze why you want to be somebody else.\\nAsk yourself what the reasons are behind your desire to change. Write down the reasons you come up with. This way you can discover the root of your problem. Once you know where the wish to be someone else is coming from, you can solve the problem's source.\\nDon't base your need to become someone else off of a few isolated events. Challenges and undesirable circumstances happen to all of us every now and then. We all make mistakes and try to learn from them regularly as well.\\nIf there is a clear and repeating pattern to your experiences or relationships that provides clues to where you could improve, then use that information to your advantage. Explore where relationships broke down or what you have been criticized for.\\n1-2. Ask yourself what you want to change.\\nYou have looked at what is happening around you that makes you want to be someone else; you need to consider your personal feelings as well. If certain things are bothering you, find out what they are and how you can make them better.\\nIf you're not happy with yourself, figure out why. Are you overweight? Have a nervous disposition? Disorganized?\\nIf you are merely bored with the way things are and want a change, reflect on what exactly you are not satisfied with. Is it your relationship? Your job? Your house or car? The weather? Focus on the area that you want to change.\\n1-3. Focus on ways to improve.\\nYou know what needs to change so you can be who you want to be. Now you need to brainstorm ways to fix or make the problem better.\\nIf you need to lose weight to feel healthy and happy then concentrate on that. Start going to the gym, lower your fat and carbohydrate intake and get engaged in a social group for support.\\nIf you suffer from anxiety, then seek help from a professional, practice meditation and take opportunities to practice being assertive.\\nIf you are tired of people calling you boring, do something adventurous like sky diving, mountain climbing, sailing or learning to fly a plane.\\nIf you're unhappy with your romantic partner, do something new together, find ways to connect and appreciate each other, go to counseling or consider moving on.\\nIf you're sick of your job, get a new one or go back to school to learn new skills so you can get the job of your dreams and earn the house and car that you want. Move away if you are unhappy with where you're at because it rains too much or gets too cold.\\n1-4. Find out whom you want emulate.\\nYou have a pretty good idea what you don't want to be. Now it's time to think about the kind of life you want and the kind of person you want to be. Reflect on the behavior, beliefs and values of those you admire to learn how to be successful in all areas of your life.\\nYou probably admire someone—a character from a movie or book, a celebrity, sports figure, family member, or a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Do you want to be like your favorite TV character? Or like your girlfriend or boyfriend? Once you narrow down whom it is you want to be like, you can begin to develop character traits for self-improvement based off of their example. Spend more time with them if you are able to, in order to get a true feel of what they are like.\\nSelect good personal qualities that will make your life better, not worse. Ending up in jail or driving away the people in your life that matter will not help you feel better. If you do change yourself, make sure you develop personality traits that increase your chances of being well-liked. You might want to be more interesting, sympathetic, or charming, for instance.\\n1-5. Make sure the traits you want to develop are sustainable.\\nYou need to be able to keep up these good qualities long-term until they become a part of who you are. Lying to people about what you can do or who you are is not the best way to go. People won't trust you when they eventually see the truth, so it's best to tell them now. You'll also feel more comfortable with yourself and around others if you remain true to yourself.\\nDon't act like a wealthy person when you only have a few dollars in your pocket and can't afford dinner for two, let alone that vacation to Hawaii.\\nDon't pretend to know about cars to get a date and happen to end up on the side of the road with a blown out tire you don't know how to change.\\nLikewise, learn to play an instrument or cook before attempting to impress someone with your know-how.\\n1-6. Research everything about the character you admire.\\nIt takes knowledge, dedication and practice to become someone other than who you are right now. It is easier if you have an example to work toward. You'll need to do some serious investigation to uncover clues that will teach you how to be similar.\\nRead autobiographies, biographies, stories, and articles about or by the person you admire. Also, check out fan and personal websites.\\nObserve them on video and pay attention to the qualities that you want to take on, such as appearance and style, how they interact and communicate, how they behave under pressure and how they appear to others. Are they confident, respectful, friendly, positive, compassionate, or powerful?\\nTry to meet the person who inspires you. If you can chat with the person you want to be at an event, conference, or other location, even better. Try to get to know who they really are, how they got where they are, and whether they might have any advice.\\n2. Becoming Someone Else\\n2-1. Set goals\\nYou need to know what you want and how to get there. You want to make changes to become someone different than yourself at the moment.\\nTo come up with a goal, first you need to figure out where exactly you are trying to get to and what the end result needs to be. For example, you want to be more self-confident like your favorite female sports player. You want to be able to be great at tennis, basketball, football or compete in the Olympics.\\nA goal is not just what you want but something you are willing to work toward. You need to ask yourself if you can work toward the end goal. Are you willing to work out, building muscle, practicing every day? This will tell you how badly you want something.\\nDon't set yourself up for failure. Even though there are many tools that can help, such as motivating books and support groups, you're the only one who can change you. There's no magic pill–it will take work and dedication.\\n2-2. Start with the easiest changes.\\nIt is a big transformation to become someone else. You will want to focus first on the traits and behavior that you can modify with the least work so that you don't get overwhelmed. As you get used to adopting new characteristics, you can move on to the more difficult changes that will take the most time and energy to master.\\nChanging your appearance is usually a lot easier than altering years of learned habits. It can also go a long way toward making you feel different enough to motivate you to change other factors.\\nChanges that come more naturally will be easier. For example, if you have always been polite, then going out of your way to be extra polite will not take that much more effort. If you like to smile and laugh, then remembering to smile as much as possible throughout the day will probably be fairly easy.\\nEmbrace the challenge. Some things can be very difficult to overcome. For example, if you're usually a timid person who keeps to themselves, then waving and saying “Hi” to strangers may be uncomfortable at first.\\nKnow that with every challenge you accept and complete successfully, you will be closer to becoming the person you want to be.\\n2-3. Change your style.\\nHow we present ourselves to the outside world dictates not only first impressions but often how we are perceived and treated. If you want to stand out, then wear clothing, colors, or haircuts that make you look different than other people.\\nIf you want to be perceived a certain way, such as wealthy or a professional, dress and look the part. If you want to be seen as laid back and down-to-earth, you may want to dress down.\\nIf you normally wear glasses, have long, brown hair and don't wear makeup, think about how you might update your appearance. Cut your hair into a funky, short style and dye it a bold color like red, purple, blonde, or deep black. Get contacts or pick up chic-styled frames.\\nPick up some guides on creative ways to do your makeup and practice different looks.\\nBuy new clothes. Think about what the new character you have decided to become would want to wear. Choose flattering options and wear what feels good to you. You probably want your appearance to go along with the positive new attributes you are working on.\\n2-4. Pay attention to how you present yourself.\\nWe get impressions about people from more than their clothes or hair style. We see how they move, their gestures, and facial expressions, and form opinions about them based on those.\\nWatch how you move. The way a person moves can have a huge impact on how others perceive them. Move with confidence and poise.\\nPut on the outfit and shoes you will be wearing in public. Practice walking in high heels if they are part of your new look. Watch yourself in a mirror to see how you swing your arms and sway your hips.\\nWatch your expressions in the mirror. Practice smiling, laughing, and appearing engaged. See if you can hold a conversation with your new self.\\nYou may also want to record yourself and watch it on video to see where you might improve your communication skills and body language. If you habitually twirl your hair, for example, consider whether this is a desirable trait for your new character. If not, make a deliberate attempt not to carry on this habit.\\n2-5. Change your role.\\nUse everything you've learned to become someone else. Make choices that will move you closer to your goal of becoming a new person.\\nTry on different qualities from people you admire. Go out to the store and be the high-energy, social butterfly that is curious about strangers and cracks jokes. Be the hero who can overcome any obstacle. Go out and train until you win a race.\\nIf you're stuck in a job position that seems to go nowhere, then get a completely new position doing something you enjoy more, or use your past experience to move up to a higher level role for another company. Open your own business or take on a student role for a while so you can become a doctor, lawyer, or something else. Move to another city with more opportunities for your skill sets.\\nIf you've always been the one who gets stepped on in relationships, be the one who knows what they do or don't want in the relationship first. Cultivate trust, mutual respect, and demand that you be treated as an equal. Learn to walk away from people and things that don't benefit you. Make sure you know how to protect yourself so that people don't walk all over you.\\n3. Living As Someone Else\\n3-1. Keep practicing.\\nSome traits, changes and approaches will take time to learn to do naturally. Remember, becoming someone else doesn't happen overnight. You will need to find out what you want, how to do it and keep at it until it works for you.\\nFocus on getting your characteristics down. You want the way you look, act, and the things you do to be second nature and part of your new identity. Practice regularly in multiple situations, roles, and relationships. Eventually, you won't have to work at it anymore because it will become a part of who you are.\\nParticipate in a new activity or hobby regularly, preferably outside of your comfort zone. This will stretch your horizons and allow you to learn to adapt to new situations and experiences more quickly.\\nKnow your limitations. Some things cannot be safely altered and should not be, such as body type, height, foot size, finger length, or skin color, among others. Accept what you cannot change and spend your energy working on the things you can.\\n3-2. Stop judging.\\nWhat we fear other people think about us are often the things that we dislike, criticize or judge about other people. Be less judgmental to free yourself and others from this burden. It is hard to learn from others or grow as a person if you're always feeling envious about another's successes.\\nResist the urge to be critical of others as well as yourself and start being an objective observer. Find out how others deal with failure, challenges, and try to integrate all these good qualities into your developing personality.\\nRecognize when you do a good job, handle a social situation successfully, or influence people in positive ways. Pin down how you did it, what you did that helped, and maybe what you did that didn't help.\\n3-3. Adapt.\\nYou will likely have to tailor certain qualities, styles, and roles to suit you. Sometimes things won't work for you and that's fine. Have the strength to throw out what won't serve your transformation positively and focus on those that will.\\nIf you have long black hair and want long blonde hair, know that repeated processing over time will likely damage your hair. You may need to keep it short instead of long to avoid breakage and a scraggly look. Consider using dark hair to your advantage and adding some beautiful highlights that look gorgeous against your deep hair color.\\nIf you are 5' and rather stocky, maybe you shouldn't expend a lot of energy to become a supermodel or famous basketball player—though there's always a chance. Try being a face model, kickboxer, or a jockey instead. The trick is to problem-solve and adapt the quality you want to suit any limitations.\\n3-4. Have fun.\\nDon't take things personally. Some people may not understand what you are doing or why and could make fun of you. Embrace how far you have come and who you have become. Soon, the old you will be forgotten and the person you have worked so hard to become will truly be who you are.\\nWhen dealing with ridicule, think about how the person you admire would react and respond. Hopefully, you will do the right thing in this situation, too.\\nIt's hard to have fun if you're always worrying about how you appear to other people. Most social interaction is not defined by rigid rules, and people are not waiting to make fun of you if you do something that isn't considered normal. Just go along with the flow of the conversation and if you need to pause to think, do so.\\nTips\\nDon't force qualities so much that they become undesirable, such as self-confidence that becomes arrogance or being so tough that you are seen as aggressive and overly “macho”.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIt is easier to enhance your own qualities and skills than to take on someone else's. You are special and deserve to be the best “you” that you can be. Work on making yourself who you want to be first before attempting to become someone else. You never know, you could be happy living life as yourself.\\nRemember that even your heroes and the people you admire are human and cannot be perfect. They all have problems, insecurities and failures just like you.\\nWarnings\\nBeing obsessed with another person is not healthy. If you find that you can't stop thinking about someone else, believe you have a special connection to someone you don't really know and desperately need to become them, you should consider seeking professional help.\\nDon't be devastated if someone you admire is not how you pictured them or doesn't live up to your expectations. Even being who they are can't solve all their own problems. Remember that and don't be so hard on yourself.\\nBe careful when you attempt to imitate someone else exactly. Your imitation could be offensive to that person you admire, and others may not respect you as being unique. That is best to develop your own character than to imitate others.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone thinks about what it would be like to be someone else. This is especially true if you aren't happy with who you are or satisfied with your life at the moment. We're used to putting on different faces and behaving a specific way to suit the situation–such as work, a football game, a night out with friends or a family activity. To temporarily give us a glimpse into another life and get a break from our own, we watch movies or TV, play games and read. For most people, an occasional escape from who we are is enough. However, you might actually want to become someone else. Here's a guide for how to do that.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Researching Someone Else\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Analyze why you want to be somebody else.\", \"描述\": \"Ask yourself what the reasons are behind your desire to change. Write down the reasons you come up with. This way you can discover the root of your problem. Once you know where the wish to be someone else is coming from, you can solve the problem's source.\\nDon't base your need to become someone else off of a few isolated events. Challenges and undesirable circumstances happen to all of us every now and then. We all make mistakes and try to learn from them regularly as well.\\nIf there is a clear and repeating pattern to your experiences or relationships that provides clues to where you could improve, then use that information to your advantage. Explore where relationships broke down or what you have been criticized for.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself what you want to change.\", \"描述\": \"You have looked at what is happening around you that makes you want to be someone else; you need to consider your personal feelings as well. If certain things are bothering you, find out what they are and how you can make them better.\\nIf you're not happy with yourself, figure out why. Are you overweight? Have a nervous disposition? Disorganized?\\nIf you are merely bored with the way things are and want a change, reflect on what exactly you are not satisfied with. Is it your relationship? Your job? Your house or car? The weather? Focus on the area that you want to change.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on ways to improve.\", \"描述\": \"You know what needs to change so you can be who you want to be. Now you need to brainstorm ways to fix or make the problem better.\\nIf you need to lose weight to feel healthy and happy then concentrate on that. Start going to the gym, lower your fat and carbohydrate intake and get engaged in a social group for support.\\nIf you suffer from anxiety, then seek help from a professional, practice meditation and take opportunities to practice being assertive.\\nIf you are tired of people calling you boring, do something adventurous like sky diving, mountain climbing, sailing or learning to fly a plane.\\nIf you're unhappy with your romantic partner, do something new together, find ways to connect and appreciate each other, go to counseling or consider moving on.\\nIf you're sick of your job, get a new one or go back to school to learn new skills so you can get the job of your dreams and earn the house and car that you want. Move away if you are unhappy with where you're at because it rains too much or gets too cold.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find out whom you want emulate.\", \"描述\": \"You have a pretty good idea what you don't want to be. Now it's time to think about the kind of life you want and the kind of person you want to be. Reflect on the behavior, beliefs and values of those you admire to learn how to be successful in all areas of your life.\\nYou probably admire someone—a character from a movie or book, a celebrity, sports figure, family member, or a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Do you want to be like your favorite TV character? Or like your girlfriend or boyfriend? Once you narrow down whom it is you want to be like, you can begin to develop character traits for self-improvement based off of their example. Spend more time with them if you are able to, in order to get a true feel of what they are like.\\nSelect good personal qualities that will make your life better, not worse. Ending up in jail or driving away the people in your life that matter will not help you feel better. If you do change yourself, make sure you develop personality traits that increase your chances of being well-liked. You might want to be more interesting, sympathetic, or charming, for instance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make sure the traits you want to develop are sustainable.\", \"描述\": \"You need to be able to keep up these good qualities long-term until they become a part of who you are. Lying to people about what you can do or who you are is not the best way to go. People won't trust you when they eventually see the truth, so it's best to tell them now. You'll also feel more comfortable with yourself and around others if you remain true to yourself.\\nDon't act like a wealthy person when you only have a few dollars in your pocket and can't afford dinner for two, let alone that vacation to Hawaii.\\nDon't pretend to know about cars to get a date and happen to end up on the side of the road with a blown out tire you don't know how to change.\\nLikewise, learn to play an instrument or cook before attempting to impress someone with your know-how.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Research everything about the character you admire.\", \"描述\": \"It takes knowledge, dedication and practice to become someone other than who you are right now. It is easier if you have an example to work toward. You'll need to do some serious investigation to uncover clues that will teach you how to be similar.\\nRead autobiographies, biographies, stories, and articles about or by the person you admire. Also, check out fan and personal websites.\\nObserve them on video and pay attention to the qualities that you want to take on, such as appearance and style, how they interact and communicate, how they behave under pressure and how they appear to others. Are they confident, respectful, friendly, positive, compassionate, or powerful?\\nTry to meet the person who inspires you. If you can chat with the person you want to be at an event, conference, or other location, even better. Try to get to know who they really are, how they got where they are, and whether they might have any advice.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Becoming Someone Else\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set goals\", \"描述\": \"You need to know what you want and how to get there. You want to make changes to become someone different than yourself at the moment.\\nTo come up with a goal, first you need to figure out where exactly you are trying to get to and what the end result needs to be. For example, you want to be more self-confident like your favorite female sports player. You want to be able to be great at tennis, basketball, football or compete in the Olympics.\\nA goal is not just what you want but something you are willing to work toward. You need to ask yourself if you can work toward the end goal. Are you willing to work out, building muscle, practicing every day? This will tell you how badly you want something.\\nDon't set yourself up for failure. Even though there are many tools that can help, such as motivating books and support groups, you're the only one who can change you. There's no magic pill–it will take work and dedication.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start with the easiest changes.\", \"描述\": \"It is a big transformation to become someone else. You will want to focus first on the traits and behavior that you can modify with the least work so that you don't get overwhelmed. As you get used to adopting new characteristics, you can move on to the more difficult changes that will take the most time and energy to master.\\nChanging your appearance is usually a lot easier than altering years of learned habits. It can also go a long way toward making you feel different enough to motivate you to change other factors.\\nChanges that come more naturally will be easier. For example, if you have always been polite, then going out of your way to be extra polite will not take that much more effort. If you like to smile and laugh, then remembering to smile as much as possible throughout the day will probably be fairly easy.\\nEmbrace the challenge. Some things can be very difficult to overcome. For example, if you're usually a timid person who keeps to themselves, then waving and saying “Hi” to strangers may be uncomfortable at first.\\nKnow that with every challenge you accept and complete successfully, you will be closer to becoming the person you want to be.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Change your style.\", \"描述\": \"How we present ourselves to the outside world dictates not only first impressions but often how we are perceived and treated. If you want to stand out, then wear clothing, colors, or haircuts that make you look different than other people.\\nIf you want to be perceived a certain way, such as wealthy or a professional, dress and look the part. If you want to be seen as laid back and down-to-earth, you may want to dress down.\\nIf you normally wear glasses, have long, brown hair and don't wear makeup, think about how you might update your appearance. Cut your hair into a funky, short style and dye it a bold color like red, purple, blonde, or deep black. Get contacts or pick up chic-styled frames.\\nPick up some guides on creative ways to do your makeup and practice different looks.\\nBuy new clothes. Think about what the new character you have decided to become would want to wear. Choose flattering options and wear what feels good to you. You probably want your appearance to go along with the positive new attributes you are working on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to how you present yourself.\", \"描述\": \"We get impressions about people from more than their clothes or hair style. We see how they move, their gestures, and facial expressions, and form opinions about them based on those.\\nWatch how you move. The way a person moves can have a huge impact on how others perceive them. Move with confidence and poise.\\nPut on the outfit and shoes you will be wearing in public. Practice walking in high heels if they are part of your new look. Watch yourself in a mirror to see how you swing your arms and sway your hips.\\nWatch your expressions in the mirror. Practice smiling, laughing, and appearing engaged. See if you can hold a conversation with your new self.\\nYou may also want to record yourself and watch it on video to see where you might improve your communication skills and body language. If you habitually twirl your hair, for example, consider whether this is a desirable trait for your new character. If not, make a deliberate attempt not to carry on this habit.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Change your role.\", \"描述\": \"Use everything you've learned to become someone else. Make choices that will move you closer to your goal of becoming a new person.\\nTry on different qualities from people you admire. Go out to the store and be the high-energy, social butterfly that is curious about strangers and cracks jokes. Be the hero who can overcome any obstacle. Go out and train until you win a race.\\nIf you're stuck in a job position that seems to go nowhere, then get a completely new position doing something you enjoy more, or use your past experience to move up to a higher level role for another company. Open your own business or take on a student role for a while so you can become a doctor, lawyer, or something else. Move to another city with more opportunities for your skill sets.\\nIf you've always been the one who gets stepped on in relationships, be the one who knows what they do or don't want in the relationship first. Cultivate trust, mutual respect, and demand that you be treated as an equal. Learn to walk away from people and things that don't benefit you. Make sure you know how to protect yourself so that people don't walk all over you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Living As Someone Else\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep practicing.\", \"描述\": \"Some traits, changes and approaches will take time to learn to do naturally. Remember, becoming someone else doesn't happen overnight. You will need to find out what you want, how to do it and keep at it until it works for you.\\nFocus on getting your characteristics down. You want the way you look, act, and the things you do to be second nature and part of your new identity. Practice regularly in multiple situations, roles, and relationships. Eventually, you won't have to work at it anymore because it will become a part of who you are.\\nParticipate in a new activity or hobby regularly, preferably outside of your comfort zone. This will stretch your horizons and allow you to learn to adapt to new situations and experiences more quickly.\\nKnow your limitations. Some things cannot be safely altered and should not be, such as body type, height, foot size, finger length, or skin color, among others. Accept what you cannot change and spend your energy working on the things you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop judging.\", \"描述\": \"What we fear other people think about us are often the things that we dislike, criticize or judge about other people. Be less judgmental to free yourself and others from this burden. It is hard to learn from others or grow as a person if you're always feeling envious about another's successes.\\nResist the urge to be critical of others as well as yourself and start being an objective observer. Find out how others deal with failure, challenges, and try to integrate all these good qualities into your developing personality.\\nRecognize when you do a good job, handle a social situation successfully, or influence people in positive ways. Pin down how you did it, what you did that helped, and maybe what you did that didn't help.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Adapt.\", \"描述\": \"You will likely have to tailor certain qualities, styles, and roles to suit you. Sometimes things won't work for you and that's fine. Have the strength to throw out what won't serve your transformation positively and focus on those that will.\\nIf you have long black hair and want long blonde hair, know that repeated processing over time will likely damage your hair. You may need to keep it short instead of long to avoid breakage and a scraggly look. Consider using dark hair to your advantage and adding some beautiful highlights that look gorgeous against your deep hair color.\\nIf you are 5' and rather stocky, maybe you shouldn't expend a lot of energy to become a supermodel or famous basketball player—though there's always a chance. Try being a face model, kickboxer, or a jockey instead. The trick is to problem-solve and adapt the quality you want to suit any limitations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have fun.\", \"描述\": \"Don't take things personally. Some people may not understand what you are doing or why and could make fun of you. Embrace how far you have come and who you have become. Soon, the old you will be forgotten and the person you have worked so hard to become will truly be who you are.\\nWhen dealing with ridicule, think about how the person you admire would react and respond. Hopefully, you will do the right thing in this situation, too.\\nIt's hard to have fun if you're always worrying about how you appear to other people. Most social interaction is not defined by rigid rules, and people are not waiting to make fun of you if you do something that isn't considered normal. Just go along with the flow of the conversation and if you need to pause to think, do so.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't force qualities so much that they become undesirable, such as self-confidence that becomes arrogance or being so tough that you are seen as aggressive and overly “macho”.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"It is easier to enhance your own qualities and skills than to take on someone else's. You are special and deserve to be the best “you” that you can be. Work on making yourself who you want to be first before attempting to become someone else. You never know, you could be happy living life as yourself.\\n\", \"Remember that even your heroes and the people you admire are human and cannot be perfect. They all have problems, insecurities and failures just like you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Being obsessed with another person is not healthy. If you find that you can't stop thinking about someone else, believe you have a special connection to someone you don't really know and desperately need to become them, you should consider seeking professional help.\\n\", \"Don't be devastated if someone you admire is not how you pictured them or doesn't live up to your expectations. Even being who they are can't solve all their own problems. Remember that and don't be so hard on yourself.\\n\", \"Be careful when you attempt to imitate someone else exactly. Your imitation could be offensive to that person you admire, and others may not respect you as being unique. That is best to develop your own character than to imitate others.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,177 | How to Be Sophisticated | 1. Getting the Look
1-1. Master sophisticated body language.
If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to master sophisticated body language so other people are instantly impressed when they see the way you carry yourself. Sophisticated people are confident, in charge, and calm, so make sure you’re never walking too fast, wildly searching through your bag for a lost item, or generally acting in a way that makes you look frazzled and unsure of yourself. If you want to look sophisticated, then the movements of your body have to be measured and calm. Here are some other things you can try:
Make eye contact slowly but surely. Don’t stare at people you’re not talking to or avert your gaze from people who are speaking to you.
Avoid fidgeting with your hands. Keep them at your sides if you’re standing or fold them on your lap if you’re sitting.
Maintain good posture by keeping your back and neck straight and looking ahead of you instead of down at the floor. It’s not sophisticated to slouch or hunch over.
1-2. Have a sophisticated haircut.
Part of being sophisticated is mastering the look. Make sure you get your hair cut every two months or so and that you update your haircut at least yearly so that you’re continuing to be current and trendy with your look. You don’t have to follow every trend you see, but you should make sure you look fresh and stylish, and not appear to be rocking the same haircut for the last decade.
Mix it up. If you normally have super long hair, go for a short bob and see how it fits your personality. Part of being sophisticated is being willing to embrace new things without following trends too closely.
Consider getting highlights in your hair if you think it’ll enhance your look—but only if you can afford to get it professionally done.
If you’re thinking about covering up your gray hairs, make sure it’s something you really want. Having a hint of gray in your hair or even rocking a salt and pepper look can actually make you look more sophisticated.
1-3. Keep your face looking sophisticated.
Both men and women should keep their faces looking sophisticated and well-groomed. Here’s what they should do:
Women should wear some makeup to show that they’ve made an effort, but not so much that they end up hiding their natural features. Just a touch of eye shadow and liner and lipstick or lip gloss will do; there’s no need to throw on fake eyelashes or layers of blush.
Men should keep their faces looking fresh, but they can keep their beards or just a little bit of stubble. You don’t have to be free of facial hair to look sophisticated. A beard can even make you look more sophisticated, especially if you have some gray in your beard.
1-4. Dress with style.
Wearing classy clothes is a must if you want to be sophisticated. You should aim to be a little overdressed for any occasion, whether you’re taking an exam or going to a friend’s birthday party. This doesn’t mean you should show up to a casual event in a ball gown, but it does mean that you should aim to look about 10% more dressy than the people around you. This subtle difference will make you stand out as the more sophisticated person in a crowd.
Your clothes don’t have to be expensive, but they do have to be well cared for. Make sure you keep your clothes fresh, unstained, and free of wrinkles.
Go for simple clothes, such as shirts and sweaters with solid colors or stripes instead of clothes with intricate patterns or graphic tees with witty comments on them.
You don’t need a large wardrobe, either. Just a few key items, like black jeans or a white T-shirt, can go a long way in creating a simple yet elegant wardrobe.
Make sure your clothes fit properly, and that you're dressing for the occasion.
1-5. Accessorize with class.
Accessories can help complete your sophisticated look once you’ve figured out your wardrobe and general appearance. The key is not to overdo it by throwing on tons of accessories at once. Just a few key items can help give your outfit a sophisticated touch. Here are some things to try:
Simple black sunglasses
Solid-colored belts
Scarves
A watch
Simple gold and silver jewelry (for women)
2. Talking the Talk
2-1. Discuss sophisticated subjects.
If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to be prepared to discuss sophisticated subjects and to avoid the less classy subjects whenever you can. Be prepared to discuss current events, politics, literature, art, cultural events, or anything that shows that you’re a well-rounded individual who is aware of what is going on in the world. Being sophisticated is about more than just the look—your words have to show that you’re sophisticated, too.
You don’t have to artificially insert sophisticated subjects into a conversation if the people around you are discussing something completely different. But if you naturally bring up a sophisticated subject or if the people around you are already discussing something sophisticated, you have to be prepared to jump in.
If you’ve recently travelled somewhere or have read something interesting about another culture, you can share this information with other people. Just make sure that you don’t end up boring them with information that sounds irrelevant.
Here are some sophisticated subjects: museums, good wine, foreign cultures and languages, travel experiences, political movements, philosophy, literature, and film.
2-2. Avoid discussing any subjects that make people uncomfortable.
Knowing what to say is just as important as knowing what you should not talk about. Though you shouldn’t completely censor yourself and end up sounding like another person, if you want to sound sophisticated, then you have to avoid discussing subjects that make people cringe, roll their eyes, or generally feel like leaving the room. Here are some subjects that you should avoid talking about if you want to sound sophisticated:
How much money you make
Bodily functions
Your latest hookup
How drunk you got last night
2-3. Learn to speak more than one language.
Don’t go out and teach yourself a 2nd language just for the sake of being sophisticated, but do know that if you really want to be sophisticated, then you have to be open-minded and to have some knowledge about other cultures and the way that people in different countries live their lives; the easiest way to do this is to master a foreign language. This will take time, but it will definitely make you look more sophisticated.
Study abroad for a semester or during a summer program. Immersion is a great way to learn a foreign language.
Take lessons from a language tutor, or ask a friend who speaks a foreign language to tutor you in exchange for another favor on your end.
Learning a foreign language is also helpful for training your brain and exercising memory muscles.
Learning a language is about learning more than just a series of words and expressions. It’s about learning how another group of people live their lives.
2-4. Avoid coarse language.
If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to resist the urge to curse like a sailor. You should also avoid using any overly vulgar language, referring to your private parts, or discussing anyone else’s body in a rude manner. If you want to show that your thoughts are sophisticated, you can’t go around cursing in between every other sentence. Stay conscious of the words you use and make sure you avoid anything that is too offensive or that makes you sound like a thirteen-year-old boy.
If you do accidentally use a rude term, apologize or excuse yourself. It’s okay to admit that you’ve made a mistake, but don't make a fuss about it.
2-5. Improve your vocabulary.
Truly sophisticated people have a versatile vocabulary and are able to produce the perfect word for any situation. If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to add more words than “good” and “bad” to your repertoire of adjectives, and you have to be able to describe things in sophisticated, erudite, and thoughtful language. Here are some great ways to improve your vocabulary:
Do crosswords
Spend time with people who speak using elevated language
Read, read, read
Watch sophisticated films
Look up any words you don’t know
2-6. Have sophisticated debates.
Sophisticated people are able to engage in healthy, friendly debates that don’t turn ugly. If you find yourself in a disagreement with a person, act kind, polite, and non-accusatory as you continue to argue the finer points of arts, politics, or whatever it is you disagree about. Don’t resort to name-calling or anger in the middle of a debate; instead, use your knowledge to prove your point and never make the other person feel smaller than or dumber than you.
Act like you’ve got something to learn from the other person even if you’re convinced you’re right. Being stubborn or shortsighted is not sophisticated.
If you find yourself getting angry, apologize and take a minute to cool off.
2-7. Speak about yourself with modesty.
Part of being sophisticated means giving off an air of quiet confidence without bragging at any cost. So, when you discuss whatever you’ve been up to at school or work, make sure you don’t talk about how awesome, smart, or brilliant you are. If you’ve really done something great, then people will recognize it without you needing to show off. If you want to sound sophisticated, then you have to practice being modest, not tooting your own horn, and earning the respect of others by talking about yourself like an average Joe—even if you’re Bill Clinton.
If you ran a marathon, don’t say, “Oh man, it was so easy.” Be honest about how challenging it was.
Don’t give people a list of all of the wonderful awards or honors you’ve been given. Let them learn about it through other means.
3. Picking Up Sophisticated Interests
3-1. Take up sophisticated hobbies.
If you want to be sophisticated, then you can’t just look and sound sophisticated—you have to be able to do sophisticated things. There are a number of sophisticated hobbies and interests that you can take up, and you should pick something—or a few things—that really mean something to you, that you enjoy doing them, that is. Having sophisticated hobbies will not only make you more sophisticated, but it will make you more likely to meet other sophisticated people and it will give you something sophisticated to talk about. Here are some hobbies of sophisticated people:
Tennis
Badminton
Golf
Collecting records (Especially vintage vinyl, but may include classical music or jazz)
Cooking fine cuisine
Collecting fine wines
Travelling
Reading
Watching films (especially classic, foreign, or art films)
Going to museums
Ballroom dancing
Sailing
Gardening
Antiques
Yoga
Martial Arts
Running / Marathons
Rowing/Crew
Horses
Theater - Broadway, opera, ballet, local and dinner theaters, Shakespeare
3-2. Follow the news.
If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to know what’s going on in the world. You have to be updated on current events so you have a sense of how the world works on a daily basis and so that you can contribute to conversations about changes in politics, arts, media, or local government. Make sure you watch the news for at least 15 minutes a day, or better yet, that you make an effort to read the news for at least 15-30 minutes a day, whether you do this in the morning, at work, or during your commute.
Get your news from as many sources as possible. If you only get your news from The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal, then you are less likely to get an objective perspective.
If you’re really busy during the week, make an effort to read the Saturday or Sunday paper pretty thoroughly so you have a sense of what you missed.
3-3. Be well-read.
Being well-read is a must if you want to be truly sophisticated. Having some knowledge about classic works of literature as well as contemporary works will make you a more well-rounded, interesting, and sophisticated person. Though it’s hard to make room for reading in your busy schedule, try to read at least 2-3 books a month, or more, if you can make time for it. Here are some ways to be a more well-read person:
Stop watching silly TV shows and curl up with a good book instead; stop listening to pop music and listen to an audio book on the way to work.
Join a book club. This will motivate you to read regularly.
Read the books on the Modern Library’s 100 best novels list.
Read widely. Don’t just read fiction, non-fiction, or books written about America. Read books of different genres that represent different cultures.
Make a list of books you want to read by the end of the next New Year. See how many you can check off your list.
If you want to sound sophisticated, make sure you know that the writer George Eliot is a woman, and that the writer Evelyn Waugh is a man.
Learn to pronounce the names of writers with non-English names. For example, Proust is pronounced “Proost,” to rhyme with “roost.”
3-4. Love and appreciate other cultures.
You don’t have to leave your city to learn to appreciate other cultures, though traveling is a great way to improve your sophistication. You can appreciate other cultures in an almost infinite amount of ways, from watching films, eating cuisines from different cultures, and interacting with people from different cultures who can teach you a thing or two. Being sophisticated means not sounding clueless when a foreign word or term comes up, and being in the know instead.
Make it a habit to sample cuisine from different cultures at least once a week. Don’t eat the same old thing every day.
Watch a foreign film at least once or twice a month. You’ll be surprised by how much you can learn about other cultures. Check out great foreign films such as A Separation, The Lives of Others, Amour, or any film of Pedro Almodovar to start. Contemporary films tend to be a little bit more accessible.
If you have friends who grew up in a different country, make a habit of asking them about their backgrounds and the particularities of their cultures (without being annoying.)
If you’re still in school and you have the chance to join a French club, Latin club, or another club that introduces you to a different culture, take it. Don’t be afraid to try something new; the Russian Culture Club of Westfield, NJ, had 40 members at its very first meeting.
3-5. Appreciate the arts.
You’ll have to know the difference between a Picasso and an El Greco if you want to be sophisticated. You don’t have to know every little thing about art, music, literature, opera, ballet, film, or every kind of art there is to be truly sophisticated, but you should try to have at least a passing knowledge of as many of these arts as you can. You can’t do it all, but you should try to look like you know what you’re talking about when someone mentions Goddard or Goya.
Make a habit of doing one cultural thing at least once a week. This can mean watching a film, going to a gallery opening, ballet, opera, or concert.
3-6. Travel as much as you can.
Traveling is a great way to broaden your horizons, become more open-minded, and to have a firmer understanding of how the world operates. If you have the budget for it, then try to travel to a foreign country once a year or as often as you can; if you don’t have the budget, try traveling to a difference state or province whenever it’s possible for you. You can learn a lot about the world by seeing how other people live in other places.
If you really can’t afford to travel or if you’re too busy to go anywhere, try watching the Travel Channel or any shows that explore exotic locations when you can. This will still give you some insight into how other people live.
Traveling will also help you make more sophisticated conversation with other travelers. For example, If someone has come back from Paris, you can ask, “How was the Louvre?” and start an interesting conversation about it. Reading up about cultural features of the place in question will help show interest and knowledge about said place even if you have not gone yet.
3-7. Appreciate wine.
Drinking wine does not mean chugging a box of Franzia in your college’s parking lot before the big football game. It means knowing how to appreciate wine from different regions, and learning how to recognize different types of wine and the different flavors that you can find in a glass of wine. Here are some things you will need to master if you want to be sophisticated:
The different types of wine. Cabernet, Merlot, Pinot Noir, and Zinfandel are some common red wines you may encounter; Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, and Pinot Grigio are some white wines you may drink.
Wine tasting. To taste wine, swirl it around, smell it gently, and then take a small, thoughtful sip. Don’t down the whole glass without noticing the richness of the flavors.
Pairing wine with foods. White wine tends to go better with green vegetables, while red wine can bring out the flavors in strong flavored mushrooms.
Dessert wines. If you’re really into wine, you can enjoy a glass of sherry or port after your meal. Don’t drink this wine during your main meal.
Identifying flavors. Does the wine taste oaked, not oaked, earthy, or fruit-forward? Can you detect a hint of chocolate, blackberries, or oranges? You’ll have a refined palate with practice.
Chilling your wine. White wine should be cold; red wine should be kept out of the refrigerator. Don’t put ice cubes in your white wine to cool it down unless you want to look unsophisticated.
Aerating your wine. Let your red wine breathe for a few minutes before you drink it. Better yet, pour it into a decanter or even pour it through an aerator into a glass.
3-8. Be yourself, with class.
Sophistication is about presenting yourself well, not pretending you are someone else and doing things you do not like to do.
Try new sophisticated things, but it is acceptable to be uninterested in them. You might not like caviar...that does not make you necessarily unsophisticated.
You do not have to smoke or drink to be sophisticated. Plenty of very classy people forgo tobacco or alcohol. You do not have to be apologetic about that.
It is OK to enjoy mainstream things. You do not have to pretend you do not enjoy watching ice hockey, for instance. Or that you do not go to Walmart sometimes. Or go to the circus with your family.
Sophisticated is not the same as snobbish. Being a well-dressed person, who is well-educated, cultured, and poised is a worthy goal. Sometimes this is confused with being a snob. A snob looks down on people who are not well dressed, or educated, poised, and so on. A sophisticated person can be kind, friendly, broad-minded, and think well of others.
4. Acting Sophisticated
4-1. Spend time with sophisticated people.
Sophisticated company will improve your level of sophistication. You shouldn’t drop all of your friends at a moment’s notice just because they aren’t as sophisticated as you’d like them to be; you should, however, make a goal of hanging out with more cultured, interesting, and open-minded people so that you can improve your own level of thinking.
You can meet sophisticated people at book clubs, book readings, gallery openings and events, poetry readings, concerts, or at any art-inspired events.
Always be respectful when meeting someone important for the first time. For example, try to make eye contact, smile, and keep your hands out of your pockets.
4-2. Don’t lose your cool.
Being sophisticated means that you should keep your act together in public. This does not necessarily mean you never show any emotion, just that you do not fall to pieces in public. A sophisticated person gets angry with a witty retort, not by shouting obscenities. A sophisticated person may cry at a funeral, but not make a scene about it.
If you find yourself getting angry in public, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths until you feel yourself returning to normal.
4-3. Avoid getting visibly intoxicated in public.
It’s sophisticated to sip a glass of Rosé or white wine on your patio and keep up witty conversation—it’s not sophisticated to be seen stumbling around a bar, falling into stools and not being able to keep your food down. If you want to be sophisticated and have embarrassing drinking habits, then it’s time to change your ways. The next time you go out, stick to having just one or two drinks, or to drinking until you feel slightly buzzed and then stopping.
If you want people to think you’re sophisticated, although it goes deep down within yourself, then people will take you seriously, and nobody takes a person who can’t hold his liquor very seriously.
4-4. Give off a quietly confident vibe.
Though being confident isn’t the same as being sophisticated, both are qualities of people who look like they know what they’re doing. If you’re sophisticated, then you’re not immature, unsure of yourself, or generally clueless. You can demonstrate your competence by operating with a quiet confidence whenever you can. This means staying positive, showing that you love who you are and what you do, and not plunging into self-doubt by playing out of your league.
There’s a difference between being confident and bragging. You can show that you love yourself without talking about how great you are.
It’s okay to ask for advice; in fact, admitting that you need advice shows character. But if you ask for advice every five seconds, then you’ll look like you don’t believe in yourself.
4-5. Treat other people with respect.
You may think that being sophisticated means acting snooty, too cool for school, and blowing smoke rings in other people’s faces. However, to be truly sophisticated, you have to show that you respect other human beings and that you think all people deserve to be treated as your equals, even if they aren’t as well-read or refined as you are. Whether you’re talking to an old friend, a new acquaintance, or a stranger in line at your coffee shop, you should always be polite, kind, and helpful when you talk to other people.
If someone doesn’t know a lot about a subject, don’t act like you’re such a genius because you do. Instead, take the opportunity to share your knowledge (if the person wants to know more).
Being polite is a major sign not only of your maturity, but of your sophistication. Hold doors for people, don’t cut into lines, and say “please” and “thank you” as often as necessary.
Watch your facial and body language because they give away the real you that you want to polish. Be on the look out for your thought associations, while deep in a conversation, because they show others what you're thinking or what your opinions are...hold your cards close to the chest.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting the Look\\n1-1. Master sophisticated body language.\\nIf you want to be sophisticated, then you have to master sophisticated body language so other people are instantly impressed when they see the way you carry yourself. Sophisticated people are confident, in charge, and calm, so make sure you’re never walking too fast, wildly searching through your bag for a lost item, or generally acting in a way that makes you look frazzled and unsure of yourself. If you want to look sophisticated, then the movements of your body have to be measured and calm. Here are some other things you can try:\\nMake eye contact slowly but surely. Don’t stare at people you’re not talking to or avert your gaze from people who are speaking to you.\\nAvoid fidgeting with your hands. Keep them at your sides if you’re standing or fold them on your lap if you’re sitting.\\nMaintain good posture by keeping your back and neck straight and looking ahead of you instead of down at the floor. It’s not sophisticated to slouch or hunch over.\\n1-2. Have a sophisticated haircut.\\nPart of being sophisticated is mastering the look. Make sure you get your hair cut every two months or so and that you update your haircut at least yearly so that you’re continuing to be current and trendy with your look. You don’t have to follow every trend you see, but you should make sure you look fresh and stylish, and not appear to be rocking the same haircut for the last decade.\\nMix it up. If you normally have super long hair, go for a short bob and see how it fits your personality. Part of being sophisticated is being willing to embrace new things without following trends too closely.\\nConsider getting highlights in your hair if you think it’ll enhance your look—but only if you can afford to get it professionally done.\\nIf you’re thinking about covering up your gray hairs, make sure it’s something you really want. Having a hint of gray in your hair or even rocking a salt and pepper look can actually make you look more sophisticated.\\n1-3. Keep your face looking sophisticated.\\nBoth men and women should keep their faces looking sophisticated and well-groomed. Here’s what they should do: \\nWomen should wear some makeup to show that they’ve made an effort, but not so much that they end up hiding their natural features. Just a touch of eye shadow and liner and lipstick or lip gloss will do; there’s no need to throw on fake eyelashes or layers of blush.\\nMen should keep their faces looking fresh, but they can keep their beards or just a little bit of stubble. You don’t have to be free of facial hair to look sophisticated. A beard can even make you look more sophisticated, especially if you have some gray in your beard.\\n1-4. Dress with style.\\nWearing classy clothes is a must if you want to be sophisticated. You should aim to be a little overdressed for any occasion, whether you’re taking an exam or going to a friend’s birthday party. This doesn’t mean you should show up to a casual event in a ball gown, but it does mean that you should aim to look about 10% more dressy than the people around you. This subtle difference will make you stand out as the more sophisticated person in a crowd. \\nYour clothes don’t have to be expensive, but they do have to be well cared for. Make sure you keep your clothes fresh, unstained, and free of wrinkles.\\nGo for simple clothes, such as shirts and sweaters with solid colors or stripes instead of clothes with intricate patterns or graphic tees with witty comments on them.\\nYou don’t need a large wardrobe, either. Just a few key items, like black jeans or a white T-shirt, can go a long way in creating a simple yet elegant wardrobe.\\nMake sure your clothes fit properly, and that you're dressing for the occasion.\\n1-5. Accessorize with class.\\nAccessories can help complete your sophisticated look once you’ve figured out your wardrobe and general appearance. The key is not to overdo it by throwing on tons of accessories at once. Just a few key items can help give your outfit a sophisticated touch. Here are some things to try:\\nSimple black sunglasses\\nSolid-colored belts\\nScarves\\nA watch\\nSimple gold and silver jewelry (for women)\\n2. Talking the Talk\\n2-1. Discuss sophisticated subjects.\\nIf you want to be sophisticated, then you have to be prepared to discuss sophisticated subjects and to avoid the less classy subjects whenever you can. Be prepared to discuss current events, politics, literature, art, cultural events, or anything that shows that you’re a well-rounded individual who is aware of what is going on in the world. Being sophisticated is about more than just the look—your words have to show that you’re sophisticated, too. \\nYou don’t have to artificially insert sophisticated subjects into a conversation if the people around you are discussing something completely different. But if you naturally bring up a sophisticated subject or if the people around you are already discussing something sophisticated, you have to be prepared to jump in.\\nIf you’ve recently travelled somewhere or have read something interesting about another culture, you can share this information with other people. Just make sure that you don’t end up boring them with information that sounds irrelevant.\\nHere are some sophisticated subjects: museums, good wine, foreign cultures and languages, travel experiences, political movements, philosophy, literature, and film.\\n2-2. Avoid discussing any subjects that make people uncomfortable.\\nKnowing what to say is just as important as knowing what you should not talk about. Though you shouldn’t completely censor yourself and end up sounding like another person, if you want to sound sophisticated, then you have to avoid discussing subjects that make people cringe, roll their eyes, or generally feel like leaving the room. Here are some subjects that you should avoid talking about if you want to sound sophisticated:\\nHow much money you make\\nBodily functions\\nYour latest hookup\\nHow drunk you got last night\\n2-3. Learn to speak more than one language.\\nDon’t go out and teach yourself a 2nd language just for the sake of being sophisticated, but do know that if you really want to be sophisticated, then you have to be open-minded and to have some knowledge about other cultures and the way that people in different countries live their lives; the easiest way to do this is to master a foreign language. This will take time, but it will definitely make you look more sophisticated.\\nStudy abroad for a semester or during a summer program. Immersion is a great way to learn a foreign language.\\nTake lessons from a language tutor, or ask a friend who speaks a foreign language to tutor you in exchange for another favor on your end.\\nLearning a foreign language is also helpful for training your brain and exercising memory muscles.\\nLearning a language is about learning more than just a series of words and expressions. It’s about learning how another group of people live their lives.\\n2-4. Avoid coarse language.\\nIf you want to be sophisticated, then you have to resist the urge to curse like a sailor. You should also avoid using any overly vulgar language, referring to your private parts, or discussing anyone else’s body in a rude manner. If you want to show that your thoughts are sophisticated, you can’t go around cursing in between every other sentence. Stay conscious of the words you use and make sure you avoid anything that is too offensive or that makes you sound like a thirteen-year-old boy. \\nIf you do accidentally use a rude term, apologize or excuse yourself. It’s okay to admit that you’ve made a mistake, but don't make a fuss about it.\\n2-5. Improve your vocabulary.\\nTruly sophisticated people have a versatile vocabulary and are able to produce the perfect word for any situation. If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to add more words than “good” and “bad” to your repertoire of adjectives, and you have to be able to describe things in sophisticated, erudite, and thoughtful language. Here are some great ways to improve your vocabulary:\\nDo crosswords\\nSpend time with people who speak using elevated language\\nRead, read, read\\nWatch sophisticated films\\nLook up any words you don’t know\\n2-6. Have sophisticated debates.\\nSophisticated people are able to engage in healthy, friendly debates that don’t turn ugly. If you find yourself in a disagreement with a person, act kind, polite, and non-accusatory as you continue to argue the finer points of arts, politics, or whatever it is you disagree about. Don’t resort to name-calling or anger in the middle of a debate; instead, use your knowledge to prove your point and never make the other person feel smaller than or dumber than you.\\nAct like you’ve got something to learn from the other person even if you’re convinced you’re right. Being stubborn or shortsighted is not sophisticated.\\nIf you find yourself getting angry, apologize and take a minute to cool off.\\n2-7. Speak about yourself with modesty.\\nPart of being sophisticated means giving off an air of quiet confidence without bragging at any cost. So, when you discuss whatever you’ve been up to at school or work, make sure you don’t talk about how awesome, smart, or brilliant you are. If you’ve really done something great, then people will recognize it without you needing to show off. If you want to sound sophisticated, then you have to practice being modest, not tooting your own horn, and earning the respect of others by talking about yourself like an average Joe—even if you’re Bill Clinton.\\nIf you ran a marathon, don’t say, “Oh man, it was so easy.” Be honest about how challenging it was.\\nDon’t give people a list of all of the wonderful awards or honors you’ve been given. Let them learn about it through other means.\\n3. Picking Up Sophisticated Interests\\n3-1. Take up sophisticated hobbies.\\nIf you want to be sophisticated, then you can’t just look and sound sophisticated—you have to be able to do sophisticated things. There are a number of sophisticated hobbies and interests that you can take up, and you should pick something—or a few things—that really mean something to you, that you enjoy doing them, that is. Having sophisticated hobbies will not only make you more sophisticated, but it will make you more likely to meet other sophisticated people and it will give you something sophisticated to talk about. Here are some hobbies of sophisticated people:\\nTennis\\nBadminton\\nGolf\\nCollecting records (Especially vintage vinyl, but may include classical music or jazz)\\nCooking fine cuisine\\nCollecting fine wines\\nTravelling\\nReading\\nWatching films (especially classic, foreign, or art films)\\nGoing to museums\\nBallroom dancing\\nSailing\\nGardening\\nAntiques\\nYoga\\nMartial Arts\\nRunning / Marathons\\nRowing/Crew\\nHorses\\nTheater - Broadway, opera, ballet, local and dinner theaters, Shakespeare\\n3-2. Follow the news.\\nIf you want to be sophisticated, then you have to know what’s going on in the world. You have to be updated on current events so you have a sense of how the world works on a daily basis and so that you can contribute to conversations about changes in politics, arts, media, or local government. Make sure you watch the news for at least 15 minutes a day, or better yet, that you make an effort to read the news for at least 15-30 minutes a day, whether you do this in the morning, at work, or during your commute.\\nGet your news from as many sources as possible. If you only get your news from The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal, then you are less likely to get an objective perspective.\\nIf you’re really busy during the week, make an effort to read the Saturday or Sunday paper pretty thoroughly so you have a sense of what you missed.\\n3-3. Be well-read.\\nBeing well-read is a must if you want to be truly sophisticated. Having some knowledge about classic works of literature as well as contemporary works will make you a more well-rounded, interesting, and sophisticated person. Though it’s hard to make room for reading in your busy schedule, try to read at least 2-3 books a month, or more, if you can make time for it. Here are some ways to be a more well-read person:\\nStop watching silly TV shows and curl up with a good book instead; stop listening to pop music and listen to an audio book on the way to work.\\nJoin a book club. This will motivate you to read regularly.\\nRead the books on the Modern Library’s 100 best novels list.\\nRead widely. Don’t just read fiction, non-fiction, or books written about America. Read books of different genres that represent different cultures.\\nMake a list of books you want to read by the end of the next New Year. See how many you can check off your list.\\nIf you want to sound sophisticated, make sure you know that the writer George Eliot is a woman, and that the writer Evelyn Waugh is a man.\\nLearn to pronounce the names of writers with non-English names. For example, Proust is pronounced “Proost,” to rhyme with “roost.”\\n3-4. Love and appreciate other cultures.\\nYou don’t have to leave your city to learn to appreciate other cultures, though traveling is a great way to improve your sophistication. You can appreciate other cultures in an almost infinite amount of ways, from watching films, eating cuisines from different cultures, and interacting with people from different cultures who can teach you a thing or two. Being sophisticated means not sounding clueless when a foreign word or term comes up, and being in the know instead. \\nMake it a habit to sample cuisine from different cultures at least once a week. Don’t eat the same old thing every day.\\nWatch a foreign film at least once or twice a month. You’ll be surprised by how much you can learn about other cultures. Check out great foreign films such as A Separation, The Lives of Others, Amour, or any film of Pedro Almodovar to start. Contemporary films tend to be a little bit more accessible.\\nIf you have friends who grew up in a different country, make a habit of asking them about their backgrounds and the particularities of their cultures (without being annoying.)\\nIf you’re still in school and you have the chance to join a French club, Latin club, or another club that introduces you to a different culture, take it. Don’t be afraid to try something new; the Russian Culture Club of Westfield, NJ, had 40 members at its very first meeting.\\n3-5. Appreciate the arts.\\nYou’ll have to know the difference between a Picasso and an El Greco if you want to be sophisticated. You don’t have to know every little thing about art, music, literature, opera, ballet, film, or every kind of art there is to be truly sophisticated, but you should try to have at least a passing knowledge of as many of these arts as you can. You can’t do it all, but you should try to look like you know what you’re talking about when someone mentions Goddard or Goya.\\nMake a habit of doing one cultural thing at least once a week. This can mean watching a film, going to a gallery opening, ballet, opera, or concert.\\n3-6. Travel as much as you can.\\nTraveling is a great way to broaden your horizons, become more open-minded, and to have a firmer understanding of how the world operates. If you have the budget for it, then try to travel to a foreign country once a year or as often as you can; if you don’t have the budget, try traveling to a difference state or province whenever it’s possible for you. You can learn a lot about the world by seeing how other people live in other places.\\nIf you really can’t afford to travel or if you’re too busy to go anywhere, try watching the Travel Channel or any shows that explore exotic locations when you can. This will still give you some insight into how other people live.\\nTraveling will also help you make more sophisticated conversation with other travelers. For example, If someone has come back from Paris, you can ask, “How was the Louvre?” and start an interesting conversation about it. Reading up about cultural features of the place in question will help show interest and knowledge about said place even if you have not gone yet.\\n3-7. Appreciate wine.\\nDrinking wine does not mean chugging a box of Franzia in your college’s parking lot before the big football game. It means knowing how to appreciate wine from different regions, and learning how to recognize different types of wine and the different flavors that you can find in a glass of wine. Here are some things you will need to master if you want to be sophisticated:\\nThe different types of wine. Cabernet, Merlot, Pinot Noir, and Zinfandel are some common red wines you may encounter; Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, and Pinot Grigio are some white wines you may drink.\\nWine tasting. To taste wine, swirl it around, smell it gently, and then take a small, thoughtful sip. Don’t down the whole glass without noticing the richness of the flavors.\\nPairing wine with foods. White wine tends to go better with green vegetables, while red wine can bring out the flavors in strong flavored mushrooms.\\nDessert wines. If you’re really into wine, you can enjoy a glass of sherry or port after your meal. Don’t drink this wine during your main meal.\\nIdentifying flavors. Does the wine taste oaked, not oaked, earthy, or fruit-forward? Can you detect a hint of chocolate, blackberries, or oranges? You’ll have a refined palate with practice.\\nChilling your wine. White wine should be cold; red wine should be kept out of the refrigerator. Don’t put ice cubes in your white wine to cool it down unless you want to look unsophisticated.\\nAerating your wine. Let your red wine breathe for a few minutes before you drink it. Better yet, pour it into a decanter or even pour it through an aerator into a glass.\\n3-8. Be yourself, with class.\\nSophistication is about presenting yourself well, not pretending you are someone else and doing things you do not like to do.\\nTry new sophisticated things, but it is acceptable to be uninterested in them. You might not like caviar...that does not make you necessarily unsophisticated.\\nYou do not have to smoke or drink to be sophisticated. Plenty of very classy people forgo tobacco or alcohol. You do not have to be apologetic about that.\\nIt is OK to enjoy mainstream things. You do not have to pretend you do not enjoy watching ice hockey, for instance. Or that you do not go to Walmart sometimes. Or go to the circus with your family.\\nSophisticated is not the same as snobbish. Being a well-dressed person, who is well-educated, cultured, and poised is a worthy goal. Sometimes this is confused with being a snob. A snob looks down on people who are not well dressed, or educated, poised, and so on. A sophisticated person can be kind, friendly, broad-minded, and think well of others.\\n4. Acting Sophisticated\\n4-1. Spend time with sophisticated people.\\nSophisticated company will improve your level of sophistication. You shouldn’t drop all of your friends at a moment’s notice just because they aren’t as sophisticated as you’d like them to be; you should, however, make a goal of hanging out with more cultured, interesting, and open-minded people so that you can improve your own level of thinking. \\nYou can meet sophisticated people at book clubs, book readings, gallery openings and events, poetry readings, concerts, or at any art-inspired events.\\nAlways be respectful when meeting someone important for the first time. For example, try to make eye contact, smile, and keep your hands out of your pockets.\\n4-2. Don’t lose your cool.\\nBeing sophisticated means that you should keep your act together in public. This does not necessarily mean you never show any emotion, just that you do not fall to pieces in public. A sophisticated person gets angry with a witty retort, not by shouting obscenities. A sophisticated person may cry at a funeral, but not make a scene about it.\\nIf you find yourself getting angry in public, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths until you feel yourself returning to normal.\\n4-3. Avoid getting visibly intoxicated in public.\\nIt’s sophisticated to sip a glass of Rosé or white wine on your patio and keep up witty conversation—it’s not sophisticated to be seen stumbling around a bar, falling into stools and not being able to keep your food down. If you want to be sophisticated and have embarrassing drinking habits, then it’s time to change your ways. The next time you go out, stick to having just one or two drinks, or to drinking until you feel slightly buzzed and then stopping.\\nIf you want people to think you’re sophisticated, although it goes deep down within yourself, then people will take you seriously, and nobody takes a person who can’t hold his liquor very seriously.\\n4-4. Give off a quietly confident vibe.\\nThough being confident isn’t the same as being sophisticated, both are qualities of people who look like they know what they’re doing. If you’re sophisticated, then you’re not immature, unsure of yourself, or generally clueless. You can demonstrate your competence by operating with a quiet confidence whenever you can. This means staying positive, showing that you love who you are and what you do, and not plunging into self-doubt by playing out of your league.\\nThere’s a difference between being confident and bragging. You can show that you love yourself without talking about how great you are.\\nIt’s okay to ask for advice; in fact, admitting that you need advice shows character. But if you ask for advice every five seconds, then you’ll look like you don’t believe in yourself.\\n4-5. Treat other people with respect.\\nYou may think that being sophisticated means acting snooty, too cool for school, and blowing smoke rings in other people’s faces. However, to be truly sophisticated, you have to show that you respect other human beings and that you think all people deserve to be treated as your equals, even if they aren’t as well-read or refined as you are. Whether you’re talking to an old friend, a new acquaintance, or a stranger in line at your coffee shop, you should always be polite, kind, and helpful when you talk to other people.\\nIf someone doesn’t know a lot about a subject, don’t act like you’re such a genius because you do. Instead, take the opportunity to share your knowledge (if the person wants to know more).\\nBeing polite is a major sign not only of your maturity, but of your sophistication. Hold doors for people, don’t cut into lines, and say “please” and “thank you” as often as necessary.\\nWatch your facial and body language because they give away the real you that you want to polish. Be on the look out for your thought associations, while deep in a conversation, because they show others what you're thinking or what your opinions are...hold your cards close to the chest.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sophistication means more than just smoking a thin cigarette in a French café while discussing your latest trip to an art gallery. Sophistication is a style, a mindset, and a way of life. So how do you become sophisticated? Just follow these steps.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting the Look\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Master sophisticated body language.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to master sophisticated body language so other people are instantly impressed when they see the way you carry yourself. Sophisticated people are confident, in charge, and calm, so make sure you’re never walking too fast, wildly searching through your bag for a lost item, or generally acting in a way that makes you look frazzled and unsure of yourself. If you want to look sophisticated, then the movements of your body have to be measured and calm. Here are some other things you can try:\\nMake eye contact slowly but surely. Don’t stare at people you’re not talking to or avert your gaze from people who are speaking to you.\\nAvoid fidgeting with your hands. Keep them at your sides if you’re standing or fold them on your lap if you’re sitting.\\nMaintain good posture by keeping your back and neck straight and looking ahead of you instead of down at the floor. It’s not sophisticated to slouch or hunch over.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a sophisticated haircut.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being sophisticated is mastering the look. Make sure you get your hair cut every two months or so and that you update your haircut at least yearly so that you’re continuing to be current and trendy with your look. You don’t have to follow every trend you see, but you should make sure you look fresh and stylish, and not appear to be rocking the same haircut for the last decade.\\nMix it up. If you normally have super long hair, go for a short bob and see how it fits your personality. Part of being sophisticated is being willing to embrace new things without following trends too closely.\\nConsider getting highlights in your hair if you think it’ll enhance your look—but only if you can afford to get it professionally done.\\nIf you’re thinking about covering up your gray hairs, make sure it’s something you really want. Having a hint of gray in your hair or even rocking a salt and pepper look can actually make you look more sophisticated.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your face looking sophisticated.\", \"描述\": \"Both men and women should keep their faces looking sophisticated and well-groomed. Here’s what they should do: \\nWomen should wear some makeup to show that they’ve made an effort, but not so much that they end up hiding their natural features. Just a touch of eye shadow and liner and lipstick or lip gloss will do; there’s no need to throw on fake eyelashes or layers of blush.\\nMen should keep their faces looking fresh, but they can keep their beards or just a little bit of stubble. You don’t have to be free of facial hair to look sophisticated. A beard can even make you look more sophisticated, especially if you have some gray in your beard.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress with style.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing classy clothes is a must if you want to be sophisticated. You should aim to be a little overdressed for any occasion, whether you’re taking an exam or going to a friend’s birthday party. This doesn’t mean you should show up to a casual event in a ball gown, but it does mean that you should aim to look about 10% more dressy than the people around you. This subtle difference will make you stand out as the more sophisticated person in a crowd. \\nYour clothes don’t have to be expensive, but they do have to be well cared for. Make sure you keep your clothes fresh, unstained, and free of wrinkles.\\nGo for simple clothes, such as shirts and sweaters with solid colors or stripes instead of clothes with intricate patterns or graphic tees with witty comments on them.\\nYou don’t need a large wardrobe, either. Just a few key items, like black jeans or a white T-shirt, can go a long way in creating a simple yet elegant wardrobe.\\nMake sure your clothes fit properly, and that you're dressing for the occasion.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accessorize with class.\", \"描述\": \"Accessories can help complete your sophisticated look once you’ve figured out your wardrobe and general appearance. The key is not to overdo it by throwing on tons of accessories at once. Just a few key items can help give your outfit a sophisticated touch. Here are some things to try:\\nSimple black sunglasses\\nSolid-colored belts\\nScarves\\nA watch\\nSimple gold and silver jewelry (for women)\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talking the Talk\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss sophisticated subjects.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to be prepared to discuss sophisticated subjects and to avoid the less classy subjects whenever you can. Be prepared to discuss current events, politics, literature, art, cultural events, or anything that shows that you’re a well-rounded individual who is aware of what is going on in the world. Being sophisticated is about more than just the look—your words have to show that you’re sophisticated, too. \\nYou don’t have to artificially insert sophisticated subjects into a conversation if the people around you are discussing something completely different. But if you naturally bring up a sophisticated subject or if the people around you are already discussing something sophisticated, you have to be prepared to jump in.\\nIf you’ve recently travelled somewhere or have read something interesting about another culture, you can share this information with other people. Just make sure that you don’t end up boring them with information that sounds irrelevant.\\nHere are some sophisticated subjects: museums, good wine, foreign cultures and languages, travel experiences, political movements, philosophy, literature, and film.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid discussing any subjects that make people uncomfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing what to say is just as important as knowing what you should not talk about. Though you shouldn’t completely censor yourself and end up sounding like another person, if you want to sound sophisticated, then you have to avoid discussing subjects that make people cringe, roll their eyes, or generally feel like leaving the room. Here are some subjects that you should avoid talking about if you want to sound sophisticated:\\nHow much money you make\\nBodily functions\\nYour latest hookup\\nHow drunk you got last night\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to speak more than one language.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t go out and teach yourself a 2nd language just for the sake of being sophisticated, but do know that if you really want to be sophisticated, then you have to be open-minded and to have some knowledge about other cultures and the way that people in different countries live their lives; the easiest way to do this is to master a foreign language. This will take time, but it will definitely make you look more sophisticated.\\nStudy abroad for a semester or during a summer program. Immersion is a great way to learn a foreign language.\\nTake lessons from a language tutor, or ask a friend who speaks a foreign language to tutor you in exchange for another favor on your end.\\nLearning a foreign language is also helpful for training your brain and exercising memory muscles.\\nLearning a language is about learning more than just a series of words and expressions. It’s about learning how another group of people live their lives.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid coarse language.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to resist the urge to curse like a sailor. You should also avoid using any overly vulgar language, referring to your private parts, or discussing anyone else’s body in a rude manner. If you want to show that your thoughts are sophisticated, you can’t go around cursing in between every other sentence. Stay conscious of the words you use and make sure you avoid anything that is too offensive or that makes you sound like a thirteen-year-old boy. \\nIf you do accidentally use a rude term, apologize or excuse yourself. It’s okay to admit that you’ve made a mistake, but don't make a fuss about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Improve your vocabulary.\", \"描述\": \"Truly sophisticated people have a versatile vocabulary and are able to produce the perfect word for any situation. If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to add more words than “good” and “bad” to your repertoire of adjectives, and you have to be able to describe things in sophisticated, erudite, and thoughtful language. Here are some great ways to improve your vocabulary:\\nDo crosswords\\nSpend time with people who speak using elevated language\\nRead, read, read\\nWatch sophisticated films\\nLook up any words you don’t know\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have sophisticated debates.\", \"描述\": \"Sophisticated people are able to engage in healthy, friendly debates that don’t turn ugly. If you find yourself in a disagreement with a person, act kind, polite, and non-accusatory as you continue to argue the finer points of arts, politics, or whatever it is you disagree about. Don’t resort to name-calling or anger in the middle of a debate; instead, use your knowledge to prove your point and never make the other person feel smaller than or dumber than you.\\nAct like you’ve got something to learn from the other person even if you’re convinced you’re right. Being stubborn or shortsighted is not sophisticated.\\nIf you find yourself getting angry, apologize and take a minute to cool off.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Speak about yourself with modesty.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being sophisticated means giving off an air of quiet confidence without bragging at any cost. So, when you discuss whatever you’ve been up to at school or work, make sure you don’t talk about how awesome, smart, or brilliant you are. If you’ve really done something great, then people will recognize it without you needing to show off. If you want to sound sophisticated, then you have to practice being modest, not tooting your own horn, and earning the respect of others by talking about yourself like an average Joe—even if you’re Bill Clinton.\\nIf you ran a marathon, don’t say, “Oh man, it was so easy.” Be honest about how challenging it was.\\nDon’t give people a list of all of the wonderful awards or honors you’ve been given. Let them learn about it through other means.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Picking Up Sophisticated Interests\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take up sophisticated hobbies.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be sophisticated, then you can’t just look and sound sophisticated—you have to be able to do sophisticated things. There are a number of sophisticated hobbies and interests that you can take up, and you should pick something—or a few things—that really mean something to you, that you enjoy doing them, that is. Having sophisticated hobbies will not only make you more sophisticated, but it will make you more likely to meet other sophisticated people and it will give you something sophisticated to talk about. Here are some hobbies of sophisticated people:\\nTennis\\nBadminton\\nGolf\\nCollecting records (Especially vintage vinyl, but may include classical music or jazz)\\nCooking fine cuisine\\nCollecting fine wines\\nTravelling\\nReading\\nWatching films (especially classic, foreign, or art films)\\nGoing to museums\\nBallroom dancing\\nSailing\\nGardening\\nAntiques\\nYoga\\nMartial Arts\\nRunning / Marathons\\nRowing/Crew\\nHorses\\nTheater - Broadway, opera, ballet, local and dinner theaters, Shakespeare\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow the news.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be sophisticated, then you have to know what’s going on in the world. You have to be updated on current events so you have a sense of how the world works on a daily basis and so that you can contribute to conversations about changes in politics, arts, media, or local government. Make sure you watch the news for at least 15 minutes a day, or better yet, that you make an effort to read the news for at least 15-30 minutes a day, whether you do this in the morning, at work, or during your commute.\\nGet your news from as many sources as possible. If you only get your news from The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal, then you are less likely to get an objective perspective.\\nIf you’re really busy during the week, make an effort to read the Saturday or Sunday paper pretty thoroughly so you have a sense of what you missed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be well-read.\", \"描述\": \"Being well-read is a must if you want to be truly sophisticated. Having some knowledge about classic works of literature as well as contemporary works will make you a more well-rounded, interesting, and sophisticated person. Though it’s hard to make room for reading in your busy schedule, try to read at least 2-3 books a month, or more, if you can make time for it. Here are some ways to be a more well-read person:\\nStop watching silly TV shows and curl up with a good book instead; stop listening to pop music and listen to an audio book on the way to work.\\nJoin a book club. This will motivate you to read regularly.\\nRead the books on the Modern Library’s 100 best novels list.\\nRead widely. Don’t just read fiction, non-fiction, or books written about America. Read books of different genres that represent different cultures.\\nMake a list of books you want to read by the end of the next New Year. See how many you can check off your list.\\nIf you want to sound sophisticated, make sure you know that the writer George Eliot is a woman, and that the writer Evelyn Waugh is a man.\\nLearn to pronounce the names of writers with non-English names. For example, Proust is pronounced “Proost,” to rhyme with “roost.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Love and appreciate other cultures.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to leave your city to learn to appreciate other cultures, though traveling is a great way to improve your sophistication. You can appreciate other cultures in an almost infinite amount of ways, from watching films, eating cuisines from different cultures, and interacting with people from different cultures who can teach you a thing or two. Being sophisticated means not sounding clueless when a foreign word or term comes up, and being in the know instead. \\nMake it a habit to sample cuisine from different cultures at least once a week. Don’t eat the same old thing every day.\\nWatch a foreign film at least once or twice a month. You’ll be surprised by how much you can learn about other cultures. Check out great foreign films such as A Separation, The Lives of Others, Amour, or any film of Pedro Almodovar to start. Contemporary films tend to be a little bit more accessible.\\nIf you have friends who grew up in a different country, make a habit of asking them about their backgrounds and the particularities of their cultures (without being annoying.)\\nIf you’re still in school and you have the chance to join a French club, Latin club, or another club that introduces you to a different culture, take it. Don’t be afraid to try something new; the Russian Culture Club of Westfield, NJ, had 40 members at its very first meeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Appreciate the arts.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll have to know the difference between a Picasso and an El Greco if you want to be sophisticated. You don’t have to know every little thing about art, music, literature, opera, ballet, film, or every kind of art there is to be truly sophisticated, but you should try to have at least a passing knowledge of as many of these arts as you can. You can’t do it all, but you should try to look like you know what you’re talking about when someone mentions Goddard or Goya.\\nMake a habit of doing one cultural thing at least once a week. This can mean watching a film, going to a gallery opening, ballet, opera, or concert.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Travel as much as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Traveling is a great way to broaden your horizons, become more open-minded, and to have a firmer understanding of how the world operates. If you have the budget for it, then try to travel to a foreign country once a year or as often as you can; if you don’t have the budget, try traveling to a difference state or province whenever it’s possible for you. You can learn a lot about the world by seeing how other people live in other places.\\nIf you really can’t afford to travel or if you’re too busy to go anywhere, try watching the Travel Channel or any shows that explore exotic locations when you can. This will still give you some insight into how other people live.\\nTraveling will also help you make more sophisticated conversation with other travelers. For example, If someone has come back from Paris, you can ask, “How was the Louvre?” and start an interesting conversation about it. Reading up about cultural features of the place in question will help show interest and knowledge about said place even if you have not gone yet.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Appreciate wine.\", \"描述\": \"Drinking wine does not mean chugging a box of Franzia in your college’s parking lot before the big football game. It means knowing how to appreciate wine from different regions, and learning how to recognize different types of wine and the different flavors that you can find in a glass of wine. Here are some things you will need to master if you want to be sophisticated:\\nThe different types of wine. Cabernet, Merlot, Pinot Noir, and Zinfandel are some common red wines you may encounter; Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, and Pinot Grigio are some white wines you may drink.\\nWine tasting. To taste wine, swirl it around, smell it gently, and then take a small, thoughtful sip. Don’t down the whole glass without noticing the richness of the flavors.\\nPairing wine with foods. White wine tends to go better with green vegetables, while red wine can bring out the flavors in strong flavored mushrooms.\\nDessert wines. If you’re really into wine, you can enjoy a glass of sherry or port after your meal. Don’t drink this wine during your main meal.\\nIdentifying flavors. Does the wine taste oaked, not oaked, earthy, or fruit-forward? Can you detect a hint of chocolate, blackberries, or oranges? You’ll have a refined palate with practice.\\nChilling your wine. White wine should be cold; red wine should be kept out of the refrigerator. Don’t put ice cubes in your white wine to cool it down unless you want to look unsophisticated.\\nAerating your wine. Let your red wine breathe for a few minutes before you drink it. Better yet, pour it into a decanter or even pour it through an aerator into a glass.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be yourself, with class.\", \"描述\": \"Sophistication is about presenting yourself well, not pretending you are someone else and doing things you do not like to do.\\nTry new sophisticated things, but it is acceptable to be uninterested in them. You might not like caviar...that does not make you necessarily unsophisticated.\\nYou do not have to smoke or drink to be sophisticated. Plenty of very classy people forgo tobacco or alcohol. You do not have to be apologetic about that.\\nIt is OK to enjoy mainstream things. You do not have to pretend you do not enjoy watching ice hockey, for instance. Or that you do not go to Walmart sometimes. Or go to the circus with your family.\\nSophisticated is not the same as snobbish. Being a well-dressed person, who is well-educated, cultured, and poised is a worthy goal. Sometimes this is confused with being a snob. A snob looks down on people who are not well dressed, or educated, poised, and so on. A sophisticated person can be kind, friendly, broad-minded, and think well of others.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Acting Sophisticated\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time with sophisticated people.\", \"描述\": \"Sophisticated company will improve your level of sophistication. You shouldn’t drop all of your friends at a moment’s notice just because they aren’t as sophisticated as you’d like them to be; you should, however, make a goal of hanging out with more cultured, interesting, and open-minded people so that you can improve your own level of thinking. \\nYou can meet sophisticated people at book clubs, book readings, gallery openings and events, poetry readings, concerts, or at any art-inspired events.\\nAlways be respectful when meeting someone important for the first time. For example, try to make eye contact, smile, and keep your hands out of your pockets.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t lose your cool.\", \"描述\": \"Being sophisticated means that you should keep your act together in public. This does not necessarily mean you never show any emotion, just that you do not fall to pieces in public. A sophisticated person gets angry with a witty retort, not by shouting obscenities. A sophisticated person may cry at a funeral, but not make a scene about it.\\nIf you find yourself getting angry in public, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths until you feel yourself returning to normal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid getting visibly intoxicated in public.\", \"描述\": \"It’s sophisticated to sip a glass of Rosé or white wine on your patio and keep up witty conversation—it’s not sophisticated to be seen stumbling around a bar, falling into stools and not being able to keep your food down. If you want to be sophisticated and have embarrassing drinking habits, then it’s time to change your ways. The next time you go out, stick to having just one or two drinks, or to drinking until you feel slightly buzzed and then stopping.\\nIf you want people to think you’re sophisticated, although it goes deep down within yourself, then people will take you seriously, and nobody takes a person who can’t hold his liquor very seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give off a quietly confident vibe.\", \"描述\": \"Though being confident isn’t the same as being sophisticated, both are qualities of people who look like they know what they’re doing. If you’re sophisticated, then you’re not immature, unsure of yourself, or generally clueless. You can demonstrate your competence by operating with a quiet confidence whenever you can. This means staying positive, showing that you love who you are and what you do, and not plunging into self-doubt by playing out of your league.\\nThere’s a difference between being confident and bragging. You can show that you love yourself without talking about how great you are.\\nIt’s okay to ask for advice; in fact, admitting that you need advice shows character. But if you ask for advice every five seconds, then you’ll look like you don’t believe in yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Treat other people with respect.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that being sophisticated means acting snooty, too cool for school, and blowing smoke rings in other people’s faces. However, to be truly sophisticated, you have to show that you respect other human beings and that you think all people deserve to be treated as your equals, even if they aren’t as well-read or refined as you are. Whether you’re talking to an old friend, a new acquaintance, or a stranger in line at your coffee shop, you should always be polite, kind, and helpful when you talk to other people.\\nIf someone doesn’t know a lot about a subject, don’t act like you’re such a genius because you do. Instead, take the opportunity to share your knowledge (if the person wants to know more).\\nBeing polite is a major sign not only of your maturity, but of your sophistication. Hold doors for people, don’t cut into lines, and say “please” and “thank you” as often as necessary.\\nWatch your facial and body language because they give away the real you that you want to polish. Be on the look out for your thought associations, while deep in a conversation, because they show others what you're thinking or what your opinions are...hold your cards close to the chest.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,178 | How to Be Sophisticated (for Teens) | 1. Keeping Your Social Graces
1-1. Be punctual.
Being late to a social engagement is a lack of respect for another person's time. That, and it shows that you don't know how to manage your time. Sophisticated people respect others and are always on top of a given situation. Plan as much extra time as you need, but make sure you're on time for your engagements.
1-2. Stay true to who you are.
Being aware of who you are and representing that with authenticity can go a long way towards showcasing your awesome, sophisticated self. To start becoming more self-aware, be more open to feedback from others and always be honest with yourself. This means being aware and accepting of what makes you great as well as your flaws.
If there's a guidance counselor at your school, having honest conversations with them throughout the year can help you be more aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
Get feedback from your teachers on projects and your behavior in class.
Honest conversations with your friends can help you be more confident in your abilities and more aware of your flaws.
1-3. Put other people's needs ahead of your own.
Part of being sophisticated is being kind and looking out for others. Rather than putting yourself first in every situation, consider how you should be treating others. A perfect example of this is allowing the elderly and people with limited mobility to take your seat on a crowded bus or subway.
1-4. Listen more than you speak.
Conversations are often rife with interruptions, and many people listen only until they can put in their own piece. If you want to stand out as a more sophisticated conversationalist, spend more time listening in a conversation than you do speaking.
Listening properly means listening actively. Ask questions where needed and show that you're listening to what someone is saying.
2. Being More Cultured
2-1. Learn a new language.
Being fluent in more than one language will let you communicate with a wider variety of people, allowing you to experience more cultures and ideas. Many high schools offer classes in other languages, such as French or Spanish. Pay extra close attention during those classes.
If you want to learn a second language more quickly, ask your parents to hire a tutor.
2-2. Read more books.
Many teenagers don't read books unless their teachers force them to. An important part of culture and sophistication, though, is being open to new ideas and learning more about the world. You might start by reading books by quintessential American authors, like Ernest Hemingway or Robert Frost, and seek variety in classic Greek works from Homer and Plato.
A great list of classic books can be found in the The Western Canon, by Harold Bloom. Pick a few books from that list and start reading.
However, it's important to note to decolonize literature and explore works beyond the Western world. It's important to not let yourself be constrained and only read "classics" or specific genres. Expand your worldview through reading, and discover new interests.
2-3. Go to a museum.
A good exhibit gives you a glimpse into another culture, another time, or a field of study you've never considered before. Start by checking for exhibits in your town. You might be surprised by what you find. Try to go to exhibits about things you might not have experienced or studied before. The more you know, the more sophisticated you'll be.
2-4. Go to the theater.
Theater is a classic art form with a variety of styles, from Shakespearean tragedies to Greek epics. A play can help you better understand a culture, even your own. On top of that, you'll learn to appreciate the hard work that goes into a live performance.
3. Cleaning up Your Look
3-1. Be well groomed.
A big part of good grooming is trimming unruly hair. You should get a haircut frequently, choosing a style that looks clean and flatters your face. For short hair, you'll need a haircut about every month. For longer hair, you can get away with getting a trim every 8-12 weeks.
If you have facial hair, it should be neatly trimmed. Any body hair should also be neat and trimmed.
Keep your nails trimmed and don't chew them. You can use nail polish, but it should be neat.
Brush your teeth twice a day and floss regularly.
3-2. Shower every day.
The combination of strange smells and oily skin is a dead giveaway that you've skipped a shower; people pick up on it more than you expect.
Wash your hair every couple of days, especially if it's long. Washing it every day will make it lose its oils, making it brittle and prone to split ends.
3-3. Dress for the occasion.
Your outfit should meet or exceed the expectations for a specific event. For example, if you're attending a wedding, you'll want to break out your finest suit. In most situations, like a night out with friends, smart casual is enough.
You don't need to wear a suit or fancy dress to every occasion, but make sure your clothes fit well and are clean.
When in doubt, it's better to be overdressed than to be underdressed. If you're not sure how well you should dress for a specific occasion, dress a bit fancier than you think is appropriate.
Pick colors and patterns that go well together. Solid neutral colors are a safe bet and can fit any occasion.
3-4. Maintain good posture.
Having good posture is helpful to your overall image, especially if you're trying to appear more sophisticated. It makes you look more intelligent and trustworthy. To maintain good posture, imagine ice water is being poured down your back, forcing you to straighten as you react to the cold. You'll naturally bring your shoulders back and keep a healthy curve in your spine.
Whether sitting or standing, you want to keep a straight spine. If you're sitting in a couch or chair with back support, your bottom should be as close as possible to the inner edge, which meets the back of the chair or couch.
4. Minding Your Manners
4-1. Have good table manners.
Being able to eat respectably is important if you're trying to impress people at dinner. Put a napkin across your lap to catch any wayward crumbs or sauce. Sit a good distance away from the table to keep your elbows off of it.
Above all, chew with your mouth closed and never talk with your mouth full.
4-2. Stay off your phone during school meetings and conversations.
With the advent of smartphones and social media, it's tempting to glance down at your phone every so often. If you want to stand out as a sophisticated person, never whip out your phone during a conversation or a meeting. Leave it in your pocket.
Switch your phone to vibrate or mute. You'll avoid the temptation of looking down at it so frequently and won't disturb the conversation.
4-3. Avoid cursing.
Using curse words liberally sends strong messages, like being immature and having a limited vocabulary. Cursing is not particularly sophisticated, especially if you think about the reason you do it. For example, are you cursing to punctuate a joke? Then you should either find a different way to deliver a punchline, or a different joke altogether.
Tips
An easy thing you can do to appear more sophisticated is improving your vocabulary. Knowing more words and using them wisely reveal a keen intellect.
Warnings
Instead of just trying to appear sophisticated, you should be trying to be more sophisticated.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keeping Your Social Graces\\n1-1. Be punctual.\\nBeing late to a social engagement is a lack of respect for another person's time. That, and it shows that you don't know how to manage your time. Sophisticated people respect others and are always on top of a given situation. Plan as much extra time as you need, but make sure you're on time for your engagements.\\n1-2. Stay true to who you are.\\nBeing aware of who you are and representing that with authenticity can go a long way towards showcasing your awesome, sophisticated self. To start becoming more self-aware, be more open to feedback from others and always be honest with yourself. This means being aware and accepting of what makes you great as well as your flaws.\\nIf there's a guidance counselor at your school, having honest conversations with them throughout the year can help you be more aware of your strengths and weaknesses.\\nGet feedback from your teachers on projects and your behavior in class.\\nHonest conversations with your friends can help you be more confident in your abilities and more aware of your flaws.\\n1-3. Put other people's needs ahead of your own.\\nPart of being sophisticated is being kind and looking out for others. Rather than putting yourself first in every situation, consider how you should be treating others. A perfect example of this is allowing the elderly and people with limited mobility to take your seat on a crowded bus or subway.\\n1-4. Listen more than you speak.\\nConversations are often rife with interruptions, and many people listen only until they can put in their own piece. If you want to stand out as a more sophisticated conversationalist, spend more time listening in a conversation than you do speaking.\\nListening properly means listening actively. Ask questions where needed and show that you're listening to what someone is saying.\\n2. Being More Cultured\\n2-1. Learn a new language.\\nBeing fluent in more than one language will let you communicate with a wider variety of people, allowing you to experience more cultures and ideas. Many high schools offer classes in other languages, such as French or Spanish. Pay extra close attention during those classes.\\nIf you want to learn a second language more quickly, ask your parents to hire a tutor.\\n2-2. Read more books.\\nMany teenagers don't read books unless their teachers force them to. An important part of culture and sophistication, though, is being open to new ideas and learning more about the world. You might start by reading books by quintessential American authors, like Ernest Hemingway or Robert Frost, and seek variety in classic Greek works from Homer and Plato.\\nA great list of classic books can be found in the The Western Canon, by Harold Bloom. Pick a few books from that list and start reading.\\nHowever, it's important to note to decolonize literature and explore works beyond the Western world. It's important to not let yourself be constrained and only read \\\"classics\\\" or specific genres. Expand your worldview through reading, and discover new interests.\\n2-3. Go to a museum.\\nA good exhibit gives you a glimpse into another culture, another time, or a field of study you've never considered before. Start by checking for exhibits in your town. You might be surprised by what you find. Try to go to exhibits about things you might not have experienced or studied before. The more you know, the more sophisticated you'll be.\\n2-4. Go to the theater.\\nTheater is a classic art form with a variety of styles, from Shakespearean tragedies to Greek epics. A play can help you better understand a culture, even your own. On top of that, you'll learn to appreciate the hard work that goes into a live performance.\\n3. Cleaning up Your Look\\n3-1. Be well groomed.\\nA big part of good grooming is trimming unruly hair. You should get a haircut frequently, choosing a style that looks clean and flatters your face. For short hair, you'll need a haircut about every month. For longer hair, you can get away with getting a trim every 8-12 weeks.\\nIf you have facial hair, it should be neatly trimmed. Any body hair should also be neat and trimmed.\\nKeep your nails trimmed and don't chew them. You can use nail polish, but it should be neat.\\nBrush your teeth twice a day and floss regularly.\\n3-2. Shower every day.\\nThe combination of strange smells and oily skin is a dead giveaway that you've skipped a shower; people pick up on it more than you expect.\\nWash your hair every couple of days, especially if it's long. Washing it every day will make it lose its oils, making it brittle and prone to split ends.\\n3-3. Dress for the occasion.\\nYour outfit should meet or exceed the expectations for a specific event. For example, if you're attending a wedding, you'll want to break out your finest suit. In most situations, like a night out with friends, smart casual is enough.\\nYou don't need to wear a suit or fancy dress to every occasion, but make sure your clothes fit well and are clean.\\nWhen in doubt, it's better to be overdressed than to be underdressed. If you're not sure how well you should dress for a specific occasion, dress a bit fancier than you think is appropriate.\\nPick colors and patterns that go well together. Solid neutral colors are a safe bet and can fit any occasion.\\n3-4. Maintain good posture.\\nHaving good posture is helpful to your overall image, especially if you're trying to appear more sophisticated. It makes you look more intelligent and trustworthy. To maintain good posture, imagine ice water is being poured down your back, forcing you to straighten as you react to the cold. You'll naturally bring your shoulders back and keep a healthy curve in your spine.\\nWhether sitting or standing, you want to keep a straight spine. If you're sitting in a couch or chair with back support, your bottom should be as close as possible to the inner edge, which meets the back of the chair or couch.\\n4. Minding Your Manners\\n4-1. Have good table manners.\\nBeing able to eat respectably is important if you're trying to impress people at dinner. Put a napkin across your lap to catch any wayward crumbs or sauce. Sit a good distance away from the table to keep your elbows off of it.\\nAbove all, chew with your mouth closed and never talk with your mouth full.\\n4-2. Stay off your phone during school meetings and conversations.\\nWith the advent of smartphones and social media, it's tempting to glance down at your phone every so often. If you want to stand out as a sophisticated person, never whip out your phone during a conversation or a meeting. Leave it in your pocket.\\nSwitch your phone to vibrate or mute. You'll avoid the temptation of looking down at it so frequently and won't disturb the conversation.\\n4-3. Avoid cursing.\\nUsing curse words liberally sends strong messages, like being immature and having a limited vocabulary. Cursing is not particularly sophisticated, especially if you think about the reason you do it. For example, are you cursing to punctuate a joke? Then you should either find a different way to deliver a punchline, or a different joke altogether.\\nTips\\nAn easy thing you can do to appear more sophisticated is improving your vocabulary. Knowing more words and using them wisely reveal a keen intellect.\\nWarnings\\nInstead of just trying to appear sophisticated, you should be trying to be more sophisticated.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being sophisticated can get you respect from the adults and other teenagers at your school. It'll help in lots of social situations throughout high school, and even going forward into your college life. Being sophisticated means paying attention to how you dress, how you act and how you treat others. It just takes a bit of effort, but soon you'll come across as a confident, cultured person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Social Graces\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be punctual.\", \"描述\": \"Being late to a social engagement is a lack of respect for another person's time. That, and it shows that you don't know how to manage your time. Sophisticated people respect others and are always on top of a given situation. Plan as much extra time as you need, but make sure you're on time for your engagements.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay true to who you are.\", \"描述\": \"Being aware of who you are and representing that with authenticity can go a long way towards showcasing your awesome, sophisticated self. To start becoming more self-aware, be more open to feedback from others and always be honest with yourself. This means being aware and accepting of what makes you great as well as your flaws.\\nIf there's a guidance counselor at your school, having honest conversations with them throughout the year can help you be more aware of your strengths and weaknesses.\\nGet feedback from your teachers on projects and your behavior in class.\\nHonest conversations with your friends can help you be more confident in your abilities and more aware of your flaws.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Put other people's needs ahead of your own.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being sophisticated is being kind and looking out for others. Rather than putting yourself first in every situation, consider how you should be treating others. A perfect example of this is allowing the elderly and people with limited mobility to take your seat on a crowded bus or subway.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen more than you speak.\", \"描述\": \"Conversations are often rife with interruptions, and many people listen only until they can put in their own piece. If you want to stand out as a more sophisticated conversationalist, spend more time listening in a conversation than you do speaking.\\nListening properly means listening actively. Ask questions where needed and show that you're listening to what someone is saying.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being More Cultured\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn a new language.\", \"描述\": \"Being fluent in more than one language will let you communicate with a wider variety of people, allowing you to experience more cultures and ideas. Many high schools offer classes in other languages, such as French or Spanish. Pay extra close attention during those classes.\\nIf you want to learn a second language more quickly, ask your parents to hire a tutor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read more books.\", \"描述\": \"Many teenagers don't read books unless their teachers force them to. An important part of culture and sophistication, though, is being open to new ideas and learning more about the world. You might start by reading books by quintessential American authors, like Ernest Hemingway or Robert Frost, and seek variety in classic Greek works from Homer and Plato.\\nA great list of classic books can be found in the The Western Canon, by Harold Bloom. Pick a few books from that list and start reading.\\nHowever, it's important to note to decolonize literature and explore works beyond the Western world. It's important to not let yourself be constrained and only read \\\"classics\\\" or specific genres. Expand your worldview through reading, and discover new interests.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go to a museum.\", \"描述\": \"A good exhibit gives you a glimpse into another culture, another time, or a field of study you've never considered before. Start by checking for exhibits in your town. You might be surprised by what you find. Try to go to exhibits about things you might not have experienced or studied before. The more you know, the more sophisticated you'll be.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Go to the theater.\", \"描述\": \"Theater is a classic art form with a variety of styles, from Shakespearean tragedies to Greek epics. A play can help you better understand a culture, even your own. On top of that, you'll learn to appreciate the hard work that goes into a live performance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cleaning up Your Look\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be well groomed.\", \"描述\": \"A big part of good grooming is trimming unruly hair. You should get a haircut frequently, choosing a style that looks clean and flatters your face. For short hair, you'll need a haircut about every month. For longer hair, you can get away with getting a trim every 8-12 weeks.\\nIf you have facial hair, it should be neatly trimmed. Any body hair should also be neat and trimmed.\\nKeep your nails trimmed and don't chew them. You can use nail polish, but it should be neat.\\nBrush your teeth twice a day and floss regularly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Shower every day.\", \"描述\": \"The combination of strange smells and oily skin is a dead giveaway that you've skipped a shower; people pick up on it more than you expect.\\nWash your hair every couple of days, especially if it's long. Washing it every day will make it lose its oils, making it brittle and prone to split ends.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress for the occasion.\", \"描述\": \"Your outfit should meet or exceed the expectations for a specific event. For example, if you're attending a wedding, you'll want to break out your finest suit. In most situations, like a night out with friends, smart casual is enough.\\nYou don't need to wear a suit or fancy dress to every occasion, but make sure your clothes fit well and are clean.\\nWhen in doubt, it's better to be overdressed than to be underdressed. If you're not sure how well you should dress for a specific occasion, dress a bit fancier than you think is appropriate.\\nPick colors and patterns that go well together. Solid neutral colors are a safe bet and can fit any occasion.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Having good posture is helpful to your overall image, especially if you're trying to appear more sophisticated. It makes you look more intelligent and trustworthy. To maintain good posture, imagine ice water is being poured down your back, forcing you to straighten as you react to the cold. You'll naturally bring your shoulders back and keep a healthy curve in your spine.\\nWhether sitting or standing, you want to keep a straight spine. If you're sitting in a couch or chair with back support, your bottom should be as close as possible to the inner edge, which meets the back of the chair or couch.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Minding Your Manners\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have good table manners.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to eat respectably is important if you're trying to impress people at dinner. Put a napkin across your lap to catch any wayward crumbs or sauce. Sit a good distance away from the table to keep your elbows off of it.\\nAbove all, chew with your mouth closed and never talk with your mouth full.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay off your phone during school meetings and conversations.\", \"描述\": \"With the advent of smartphones and social media, it's tempting to glance down at your phone every so often. If you want to stand out as a sophisticated person, never whip out your phone during a conversation or a meeting. Leave it in your pocket.\\nSwitch your phone to vibrate or mute. You'll avoid the temptation of looking down at it so frequently and won't disturb the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid cursing.\", \"描述\": \"Using curse words liberally sends strong messages, like being immature and having a limited vocabulary. Cursing is not particularly sophisticated, especially if you think about the reason you do it. For example, are you cursing to punctuate a joke? Then you should either find a different way to deliver a punchline, or a different joke altogether.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"An easy thing you can do to appear more sophisticated is improving your vocabulary. Knowing more words and using them wisely reveal a keen intellect.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Instead of just trying to appear sophisticated, you should be trying to be more sophisticated.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,179 | How to Be Sophisticated and Sexy at 40 | 1. Steps
1-1. Keep the makeup that suits you best.
If you have a style you like now, keep it. If not, get some advice on changing it. We all need a change now and then, not just because we've turned 40 but because it does us good to look good and to update when we're feeling frumpy.
1-2. Wear a mini-skirt if you want.
Old fashioned nonsense about not wearing this and not wearing that just because of your age is out the window. If you've got great legs, you're not about to saw them off are you? Think Desperate Housewives, think Elizabeth Hurley, think of all those great women in their 40s wearing what they know looks good on them and not listening to a 16 year old or a 26 year old telling you what to wear. Respect comes from what's inside, not from the clothing.
1-3. Follow the rule of two if you want a sexy and dignified look.
Split yourself in two - top and bottom. Now add two categories - tight and revealing. If your top is tight or revealing, keep the bottom plain. If the bottom is tight or revealing, keep the top modest. If low cut, wear it with a jacket. Also, if you have exceptionally nice calves, a knee-skirt can look good. Keep suits in conservative colors if that is your daily requirement, but add interesting quirks. A black business suit, with a high-quality, silk, black and turquoise top, can be paired with turquoise heels.
1-4. Keep your shoes like you - sexy, but dignified.
Heels are good if they work for you and low-pumps are acceptable attire. Consider the kitten-heel; enough heel to be business like, but also very trendy. By now, though, telling you how to wear a shoe is a little on the side of bad mannered. You know by now what works best.
1-5. Update the hair.
One thing many women do get into a bad habit with is hair - forgetting it has outgrown current needs. Seek an honest appraisal from a good hairdresser and set things straight. You'll feel like a new woman.
1-6. Exercise as always.
Never stop exercising. This will not only help your physical appearance by making you look younger, but you will also have improved emotional health. It also helps to guard against potential oncoming problems such as osteoporosis and breast cancer.
1-7. Stand tall and strong.
You're in your 40s and you're beautiful. You're also wiser, often wealthier (and if you're not, start saving now) and you're still the wonderful woman you've always been. Don't let the media, misguided youth and outdated notions tell you otherwise.
Tips
There is a new rash of magazines for women in their 40s. Read them and enjoy learning about the power of this brilliant age. Share your stories with others and help to de-construct the stereotypical notions of how women should be at certain ages. The only thing a woman should be is certain she has good self-esteem.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Keep the makeup that suits you best.\\nIf you have a style you like now, keep it. If not, get some advice on changing it. We all need a change now and then, not just because we've turned 40 but because it does us good to look good and to update when we're feeling frumpy.\\n1-2. Wear a mini-skirt if you want.\\nOld fashioned nonsense about not wearing this and not wearing that just because of your age is out the window. If you've got great legs, you're not about to saw them off are you? Think Desperate Housewives, think Elizabeth Hurley, think of all those great women in their 40s wearing what they know looks good on them and not listening to a 16 year old or a 26 year old telling you what to wear. Respect comes from what's inside, not from the clothing.\\n1-3. Follow the rule of two if you want a sexy and dignified look.\\nSplit yourself in two - top and bottom. Now add two categories - tight and revealing. If your top is tight or revealing, keep the bottom plain. If the bottom is tight or revealing, keep the top modest. If low cut, wear it with a jacket. Also, if you have exceptionally nice calves, a knee-skirt can look good. Keep suits in conservative colors if that is your daily requirement, but add interesting quirks. A black business suit, with a high-quality, silk, black and turquoise top, can be paired with turquoise heels.\\n1-4. Keep your shoes like you - sexy, but dignified.\\nHeels are good if they work for you and low-pumps are acceptable attire. Consider the kitten-heel; enough heel to be business like, but also very trendy. By now, though, telling you how to wear a shoe is a little on the side of bad mannered. You know by now what works best.\\n1-5. Update the hair.\\nOne thing many women do get into a bad habit with is hair - forgetting it has outgrown current needs. Seek an honest appraisal from a good hairdresser and set things straight. You'll feel like a new woman.\\n1-6. Exercise as always.\\nNever stop exercising. This will not only help your physical appearance by making you look younger, but you will also have improved emotional health. It also helps to guard against potential oncoming problems such as osteoporosis and breast cancer.\\n1-7. Stand tall and strong.\\nYou're in your 40s and you're beautiful. You're also wiser, often wealthier (and if you're not, start saving now) and you're still the wonderful woman you've always been. Don't let the media, misguided youth and outdated notions tell you otherwise.\\nTips\\nThere is a new rash of magazines for women in their 40s. Read them and enjoy learning about the power of this brilliant age. Share your stories with others and help to de-construct the stereotypical notions of how women should be at certain ages. The only thing a woman should be is certain she has good self-esteem.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being sexy and sophisticated at 40 just got a whole lot easier. Old enough to throw out the rule book and young enough to do whatever you please with the benefit of hindsight, experience and commonsense.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep the makeup that suits you best.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a style you like now, keep it. If not, get some advice on changing it. We all need a change now and then, not just because we've turned 40 but because it does us good to look good and to update when we're feeling frumpy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear a mini-skirt if you want.\", \"描述\": \"Old fashioned nonsense about not wearing this and not wearing that just because of your age is out the window. If you've got great legs, you're not about to saw them off are you? Think Desperate Housewives, think Elizabeth Hurley, think of all those great women in their 40s wearing what they know looks good on them and not listening to a 16 year old or a 26 year old telling you what to wear. Respect comes from what's inside, not from the clothing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Follow the rule of two if you want a sexy and dignified look.\", \"描述\": \"Split yourself in two - top and bottom. Now add two categories - tight and revealing. If your top is tight or revealing, keep the bottom plain. If the bottom is tight or revealing, keep the top modest. If low cut, wear it with a jacket. Also, if you have exceptionally nice calves, a knee-skirt can look good. Keep suits in conservative colors if that is your daily requirement, but add interesting quirks. A black business suit, with a high-quality, silk, black and turquoise top, can be paired with turquoise heels.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your shoes like you - sexy, but dignified.\", \"描述\": \"Heels are good if they work for you and low-pumps are acceptable attire. Consider the kitten-heel; enough heel to be business like, but also very trendy. By now, though, telling you how to wear a shoe is a little on the side of bad mannered. You know by now what works best.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Update the hair.\", \"描述\": \"One thing many women do get into a bad habit with is hair - forgetting it has outgrown current needs. Seek an honest appraisal from a good hairdresser and set things straight. You'll feel like a new woman.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Exercise as always.\", \"描述\": \"Never stop exercising. This will not only help your physical appearance by making you look younger, but you will also have improved emotional health. It also helps to guard against potential oncoming problems such as osteoporosis and breast cancer.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stand tall and strong.\", \"描述\": \"You're in your 40s and you're beautiful. You're also wiser, often wealthier (and if you're not, start saving now) and you're still the wonderful woman you've always been. Don't let the media, misguided youth and outdated notions tell you otherwise.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"There is a new rash of magazines for women in their 40s. Read them and enjoy learning about the power of this brilliant age. Share your stories with others and help to de-construct the stereotypical notions of how women should be at certain ages. The only thing a woman should be is certain she has good self-esteem.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,180 | How to Be Special | 1. Being an Individual
1-1. Find your you.
No one can tell you how to be special. Being special involves finding the unique inner core that radiates your "you-ness" and doing the work of building that core up. Whatever you want to call it–your soul, your essence, your chi, your mojo, your groove–you have to embrace yourself, define yourself, and build yourself up. It takes work. What does it mean to be you? Who are you? And how can you be the best version of yourself? These are questions and struggles that take up a whole lifetime. Keep in mind the following thought experiments to get your mind oriented to your inner you-ness:
When do you feel completely at ease? What makes you comfortable?
Describe your ideal day. What would it include?
What do other people praise in your work or your behavior? What do you do well?
Describe a recent disagreement you've had with someone or something. How did you differ?
How would you change yourself if you could? Why?
1-2. Make a list of your values.
Knowing what your values are can help you to be more of an individual and to live in a way that will make you happy. Take some time to think about what your values are and write them out. Then, reorganize the list from most important to least important. Some things you can do to help you generate this list include thinking about when you were:
At your happiest. For example, if you felt happiest when you were surrounded by supportive friends and family, then healthy relationships would be one of your values.
Proud. For example, if you felt proud when you graduate high school, then education might be something you value.
Satisfied and fulfilled. For example, you might feel satisfied or fulfilled after a productive day at work, so hark work might be something you value.
1-3. Identify special characteristics in others.
What does it mean to be special? Look at the people you think are exemplary, notable, or special in some way and identify the key characteristics that make it so for you. You might think people who stick up for themselves stand out in your mind as being special, or people who devote themselves fully to their work, or people who are reserved and stoic in the face of adversity. This will be different for all of us, so focus on figuring out what it is that you respect about your grandfather, your close friend, or a loved one, not what other people say.
Try to stay away from celebrities and stick to looking at people you know in real life. It's easy to identify superficial things, to say that Brad Pitt is special because he's so rich and good-looking, but it's hard to identify or even know the true core of his person. We can only see the public persona, which radiates artificial movie-star prestige, not the real person.
Focus on how other people’s characteristics resonate with your own core values and avoid focusing on superficial things. Being special is more about knowing who you are at your core, not from what you think other people are like.
Authority doesn't make someone more special. If someone has power over you, is more successful than you, or is well-known and respected, that doesn't mean that you need to emulate them.
1-4. Take off your masks.
We all wear them. When you go to work, you might have a professional mask, and when you meet up with a date after work you might switch into your dating mask. When you're with your friends, you might wear one mask, and when you're with your family, you might wear another. Once you go about the work of identifying the things that make you truly you, these masks become less useful. If you want to be special, let us see what's behind the mask.
To figure out you relationship to your masks, try to think of a time that you felt you were being fake, or inauthentic. What were the circumstances? How did it make you feel?
Check out your Facebook and Twitter feeds for a good example of digital masks in progress. People want to project images of themselves for others to digest, crafting that image in a particular way. It's inauthentic, in most cases. You're not getting the "real" version of someone.
1-5. Keep your ego in check.
A desire to be special is often a desire to be validated by others. We want to be respected, to be looked upon as successful, happy people who should be envied. But being special doesn't mean being exceptional at everything. It doesn't mean being the best tennis player, or the author with the most publications, or the richest lawyer at the law firm. It means being true to the authentic you-ness and staying true to your own integrity. Satisfy yourself, don't use the satisfaction of others to inflate your ego.
Psychologists will often refer to inner and outer locus of control. Someone with an inner locus of control finds satisfaction from within, looking to satisfy themselves with their work and actions. People with outer locus of control look to others for satisfaction. Which are you?
Avoid seeking validation from other people. Your own validation is all that you need to be special.
1-6. Surprise yourself.
People who are truly special are always changing, shifting, and surprising themselves with their ability to grow as people and to develop their authentic inner selves. If you want to be special, identify a rut that you've been in, and try to get a fresh perspective on it.
Keep learning new skills, reading new books, and challenging yourself. You're never too old, too smart, or too experienced to have your preconceptions shaken. You're never too special to be wrong.
2. Standing Out
2-1. Put in your 10,000 hours.
Lots of people are talented or naturally gifted at something, but that doesn't really make someone special. Developing a natural inclination for one thing or another can help, but it takes work to actual build that talent into something truly special. Commit to yourself and to building up your natural talents and abilities by working on them until you're an expert.
Author Malcolm Gladwell writes extensively of the 10,000 hour rule in his book "Outliers: The Story of Success," that people who succeed and display true specialness have worked hard for it. It takes roughly 10,000 hours of committing to a craft, talent, or other ability before you can display any real talent or unique spice.
Focus on developing yourself and working, not on making yourself special overnight. The first draft of the first novel you ever tried to write isn't going to be genius, and that's ok. Keep working. Keep getting better.
2-2. Be a lion or a lioness.
People who are special don't wait around for good things to happen, special people go on the prowl for what they want, and take it. Special people have claws. Identify the things that would make you feel more satisfied, the things that would improve your condition, and identify the steps that will be necessary in getting them. Be ceaseless in your quest for those goals, things, and stages. Get what you want.
Focus less on excuses. People who aren't special spend a lot of time talking about "back in the days" and "what ifs." Don't give yourself a chance to have those moments.
2-3. Uncensor yourself.
Let yourself show. Be your true, liberated, uncensored, natural self when you're alone and when you're in public. If there is a single part of you that you don't let other people see, consider opening up more and being more vulnerable. If you tend toward the quiet, learn to start speaking your mind when it's necessary.
Don't be a "yes" person. If you disagree with someone, voice your dissent. People respect others who speak their mind and are unafraid of looking for the truth. If you're around people who need their ego inflated by glad-handing sycophants, well, they're not special. Ditch 'em.
Being uncensored doesn't mean letting every thought that flits through your mind come out of your mouth. Being special doesn't mean being purposefully strange, cruel, or rude. It just means that you must stop quieting yourself when you should be speaking, acting, or thinking. If it needs saying, say it. If it needs thinking, think it.
2-4. Surround yourself with new people.
It's good to find your people, a tight-knit group of friends and loved ones that you feel comfortable with. But special people take extra effort to shake up their expectations and their preconceptions, and meet and attempt to understand all kinds of people. Be willing to listen.
If you're a young person, getting a job can be a big learning experience and a way of helping to develop your empathy skills. try to get an after-school job for a few hours each week and take it seriously.
Hang out with people who you actively disagree with on religious, political, or moral grounds. Don't try to convince people that they're wrong about something, try to understand them. Open your mind.
2-5. Develop your own style.
Give yourself a chance to feel confident and special by treating yourself and taking your appearance seriously. Buy clothes that are flattering to your shape and that you enjoy wearing. Groom yourself in a way that makes you feel confident. If that means crew-cut and cowboy boots, great. If that means waist-length dreads and Teva's, great. You don't need to be a Gucci model or competing in some kind of hipster Olympics to look special. There's no special style. Go with what looks good on you, what makes you feel confident.
3. Being Memorable
3-1. Be positive or embrace your inner grouch.
There's no special attitude, or special way of being. A special person doesn't need to be always grinning positively like an idiot or always deadly-serious and humorless like a monk. If you tend toward one or the other, don't worry about whether or not it's "wrong." Just be yourself. If you're a hugger, be a hugger. If you're not a hugger, tell people you're not. Special and exceptional people come in all variety of temperaments and attitudes.
3-2. Stop telling people what you think they want to hear.
There's no one thing you can say that will make you special to others. Being agreeable doesn't make you special, it makes you agreeable. It might help you climb certain ladders, but are those really the ladders you want to be climbing? Be authentic to yourself and you'll be working toward a more authentic and satisfying path for yourself. Say what's on your mind. Tell the truth.
3-3. Be willing to fail.
Part of staying uncensored, unique, and special involves taking risks to get what you want. Don't let the possibility of failure keep you from getting what you want. Be willing to fail, and fail early, and fail often. Learn the wrong answers so you can be one step closer to getting what you want in the long run.
In Silicon Valley, Fail-Con is a popular convention that celebrates start-up failures, allowing people to network and form around failed ideas and businesses. Every failure gets you one step closer to a success. Failure is infinitely better than inaction.
3-4. Empathize and see the specialness in others.
While being special involves a lot of working on yourself, it's absolutely important that you keep yourself focused equally on others. Recognize the specialness and the exceptional qualities in others. Don't let your ego get in the way of respecting and celebrating special people. That'll make you more special in turn.
Respecting others mean making others feel special as well. Respect others as well and treat them equally as you treat yourself.
Tips
Always be cheerful; it warms others hearts when you make a special effort to be nice to them. Anything that you do that is an effort to do is always special.
Everyone is priceless and when you know that, it helps you be you.
Smile more! Smiling shows that you're comfortable with yourself.
Warnings
If you offer help and they refuse, back off until they come to you. It will save you some time and trouble, and there are always other people willing to let you help them.
Watch out for grumpy people and people who always complain! They will make you feel bad about things and will keep you from feeling like a really special person.
Think before you speak or act. Sometimes you might want to help, but the other person wants to be able to do it themselves. By insisting on doing it for them you might damage their pride or their own sense of specialness, and hurt your relationship with them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being an Individual\\n1-1. Find your you.\\nNo one can tell you how to be special. Being special involves finding the unique inner core that radiates your \\\"you-ness\\\" and doing the work of building that core up. Whatever you want to call it–your soul, your essence, your chi, your mojo, your groove–you have to embrace yourself, define yourself, and build yourself up. It takes work. What does it mean to be you? Who are you? And how can you be the best version of yourself? These are questions and struggles that take up a whole lifetime. Keep in mind the following thought experiments to get your mind oriented to your inner you-ness:\\nWhen do you feel completely at ease? What makes you comfortable?\\nDescribe your ideal day. What would it include?\\nWhat do other people praise in your work or your behavior? What do you do well?\\nDescribe a recent disagreement you've had with someone or something. How did you differ?\\nHow would you change yourself if you could? Why?\\n1-2. Make a list of your values.\\nKnowing what your values are can help you to be more of an individual and to live in a way that will make you happy. Take some time to think about what your values are and write them out. Then, reorganize the list from most important to least important. Some things you can do to help you generate this list include thinking about when you were:\\nAt your happiest. For example, if you felt happiest when you were surrounded by supportive friends and family, then healthy relationships would be one of your values.\\nProud. For example, if you felt proud when you graduate high school, then education might be something you value.\\nSatisfied and fulfilled. For example, you might feel satisfied or fulfilled after a productive day at work, so hark work might be something you value.\\n1-3. Identify special characteristics in others.\\nWhat does it mean to be special? Look at the people you think are exemplary, notable, or special in some way and identify the key characteristics that make it so for you. You might think people who stick up for themselves stand out in your mind as being special, or people who devote themselves fully to their work, or people who are reserved and stoic in the face of adversity. This will be different for all of us, so focus on figuring out what it is that you respect about your grandfather, your close friend, or a loved one, not what other people say.\\nTry to stay away from celebrities and stick to looking at people you know in real life. It's easy to identify superficial things, to say that Brad Pitt is special because he's so rich and good-looking, but it's hard to identify or even know the true core of his person. We can only see the public persona, which radiates artificial movie-star prestige, not the real person.\\nFocus on how other people’s characteristics resonate with your own core values and avoid focusing on superficial things. Being special is more about knowing who you are at your core, not from what you think other people are like.\\nAuthority doesn't make someone more special. If someone has power over you, is more successful than you, or is well-known and respected, that doesn't mean that you need to emulate them.\\n1-4. Take off your masks.\\nWe all wear them. When you go to work, you might have a professional mask, and when you meet up with a date after work you might switch into your dating mask. When you're with your friends, you might wear one mask, and when you're with your family, you might wear another. Once you go about the work of identifying the things that make you truly you, these masks become less useful. If you want to be special, let us see what's behind the mask.\\nTo figure out you relationship to your masks, try to think of a time that you felt you were being fake, or inauthentic. What were the circumstances? How did it make you feel?\\nCheck out your Facebook and Twitter feeds for a good example of digital masks in progress. People want to project images of themselves for others to digest, crafting that image in a particular way. It's inauthentic, in most cases. You're not getting the \\\"real\\\" version of someone.\\n1-5. Keep your ego in check.\\nA desire to be special is often a desire to be validated by others. We want to be respected, to be looked upon as successful, happy people who should be envied. But being special doesn't mean being exceptional at everything. It doesn't mean being the best tennis player, or the author with the most publications, or the richest lawyer at the law firm. It means being true to the authentic you-ness and staying true to your own integrity. Satisfy yourself, don't use the satisfaction of others to inflate your ego.\\nPsychologists will often refer to inner and outer locus of control. Someone with an inner locus of control finds satisfaction from within, looking to satisfy themselves with their work and actions. People with outer locus of control look to others for satisfaction. Which are you?\\nAvoid seeking validation from other people. Your own validation is all that you need to be special.\\n1-6. Surprise yourself.\\nPeople who are truly special are always changing, shifting, and surprising themselves with their ability to grow as people and to develop their authentic inner selves. If you want to be special, identify a rut that you've been in, and try to get a fresh perspective on it.\\nKeep learning new skills, reading new books, and challenging yourself. You're never too old, too smart, or too experienced to have your preconceptions shaken. You're never too special to be wrong.\\n2. Standing Out\\n2-1. Put in your 10,000 hours.\\nLots of people are talented or naturally gifted at something, but that doesn't really make someone special. Developing a natural inclination for one thing or another can help, but it takes work to actual build that talent into something truly special. Commit to yourself and to building up your natural talents and abilities by working on them until you're an expert.\\nAuthor Malcolm Gladwell writes extensively of the 10,000 hour rule in his book \\\"Outliers: The Story of Success,\\\" that people who succeed and display true specialness have worked hard for it. It takes roughly 10,000 hours of committing to a craft, talent, or other ability before you can display any real talent or unique spice.\\nFocus on developing yourself and working, not on making yourself special overnight. The first draft of the first novel you ever tried to write isn't going to be genius, and that's ok. Keep working. Keep getting better.\\n2-2. Be a lion or a lioness.\\nPeople who are special don't wait around for good things to happen, special people go on the prowl for what they want, and take it. Special people have claws. Identify the things that would make you feel more satisfied, the things that would improve your condition, and identify the steps that will be necessary in getting them. Be ceaseless in your quest for those goals, things, and stages. Get what you want.\\nFocus less on excuses. People who aren't special spend a lot of time talking about \\\"back in the days\\\" and \\\"what ifs.\\\" Don't give yourself a chance to have those moments.\\n2-3. Uncensor yourself.\\nLet yourself show. Be your true, liberated, uncensored, natural self when you're alone and when you're in public. If there is a single part of you that you don't let other people see, consider opening up more and being more vulnerable. If you tend toward the quiet, learn to start speaking your mind when it's necessary.\\nDon't be a \\\"yes\\\" person. If you disagree with someone, voice your dissent. People respect others who speak their mind and are unafraid of looking for the truth. If you're around people who need their ego inflated by glad-handing sycophants, well, they're not special. Ditch 'em.\\nBeing uncensored doesn't mean letting every thought that flits through your mind come out of your mouth. Being special doesn't mean being purposefully strange, cruel, or rude. It just means that you must stop quieting yourself when you should be speaking, acting, or thinking. If it needs saying, say it. If it needs thinking, think it.\\n2-4. Surround yourself with new people.\\nIt's good to find your people, a tight-knit group of friends and loved ones that you feel comfortable with. But special people take extra effort to shake up their expectations and their preconceptions, and meet and attempt to understand all kinds of people. Be willing to listen.\\nIf you're a young person, getting a job can be a big learning experience and a way of helping to develop your empathy skills. try to get an after-school job for a few hours each week and take it seriously.\\nHang out with people who you actively disagree with on religious, political, or moral grounds. Don't try to convince people that they're wrong about something, try to understand them. Open your mind.\\n2-5. Develop your own style.\\nGive yourself a chance to feel confident and special by treating yourself and taking your appearance seriously. Buy clothes that are flattering to your shape and that you enjoy wearing. Groom yourself in a way that makes you feel confident. If that means crew-cut and cowboy boots, great. If that means waist-length dreads and Teva's, great. You don't need to be a Gucci model or competing in some kind of hipster Olympics to look special. There's no special style. Go with what looks good on you, what makes you feel confident.\\n3. Being Memorable\\n3-1. Be positive or embrace your inner grouch.\\nThere's no special attitude, or special way of being. A special person doesn't need to be always grinning positively like an idiot or always deadly-serious and humorless like a monk. If you tend toward one or the other, don't worry about whether or not it's \\\"wrong.\\\" Just be yourself. If you're a hugger, be a hugger. If you're not a hugger, tell people you're not. Special and exceptional people come in all variety of temperaments and attitudes.\\n3-2. Stop telling people what you think they want to hear.\\nThere's no one thing you can say that will make you special to others. Being agreeable doesn't make you special, it makes you agreeable. It might help you climb certain ladders, but are those really the ladders you want to be climbing? Be authentic to yourself and you'll be working toward a more authentic and satisfying path for yourself. Say what's on your mind. Tell the truth.\\n3-3. Be willing to fail.\\nPart of staying uncensored, unique, and special involves taking risks to get what you want. Don't let the possibility of failure keep you from getting what you want. Be willing to fail, and fail early, and fail often. Learn the wrong answers so you can be one step closer to getting what you want in the long run.\\nIn Silicon Valley, Fail-Con is a popular convention that celebrates start-up failures, allowing people to network and form around failed ideas and businesses. Every failure gets you one step closer to a success. Failure is infinitely better than inaction.\\n3-4. Empathize and see the specialness in others.\\nWhile being special involves a lot of working on yourself, it's absolutely important that you keep yourself focused equally on others. Recognize the specialness and the exceptional qualities in others. Don't let your ego get in the way of respecting and celebrating special people. That'll make you more special in turn.\\nRespecting others mean making others feel special as well. Respect others as well and treat them equally as you treat yourself.\\nTips\\nAlways be cheerful; it warms others hearts when you make a special effort to be nice to them. Anything that you do that is an effort to do is always special.\\nEveryone is priceless and when you know that, it helps you be you.\\nSmile more! Smiling shows that you're comfortable with yourself.\\nWarnings\\nIf you offer help and they refuse, back off until they come to you. It will save you some time and trouble, and there are always other people willing to let you help them.\\nWatch out for grumpy people and people who always complain! They will make you feel bad about things and will keep you from feeling like a really special person.\\nThink before you speak or act. Sometimes you might want to help, but the other person wants to be able to do it themselves. By insisting on doing it for them you might damage their pride or their own sense of specialness, and hurt your relationship with them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Who are you? What makes you special? For some people, this can be a great source of anxiety and stress. But being special doesn't just mean being exceptional, or being \\\"better\\\" than others at some task or ability or skill. Being special means being respected. Being loved. If you want to stand out from the crowd and be recognized as a special person, you can learn to start developing your inner self, giving it the respect it deserves. You can learn to stand out and make yourself a memorable, special person, who deserves the admiration of others, and the admiration of yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being an Individual\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find your you.\", \"描述\": \"No one can tell you how to be special. Being special involves finding the unique inner core that radiates your \\\"you-ness\\\" and doing the work of building that core up. Whatever you want to call it–your soul, your essence, your chi, your mojo, your groove–you have to embrace yourself, define yourself, and build yourself up. It takes work. What does it mean to be you? Who are you? And how can you be the best version of yourself? These are questions and struggles that take up a whole lifetime. Keep in mind the following thought experiments to get your mind oriented to your inner you-ness:\\nWhen do you feel completely at ease? What makes you comfortable?\\nDescribe your ideal day. What would it include?\\nWhat do other people praise in your work or your behavior? What do you do well?\\nDescribe a recent disagreement you've had with someone or something. How did you differ?\\nHow would you change yourself if you could? Why?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a list of your values.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing what your values are can help you to be more of an individual and to live in a way that will make you happy. Take some time to think about what your values are and write them out. Then, reorganize the list from most important to least important. Some things you can do to help you generate this list include thinking about when you were:\\nAt your happiest. For example, if you felt happiest when you were surrounded by supportive friends and family, then healthy relationships would be one of your values.\\nProud. For example, if you felt proud when you graduate high school, then education might be something you value.\\nSatisfied and fulfilled. For example, you might feel satisfied or fulfilled after a productive day at work, so hark work might be something you value.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify special characteristics in others.\", \"描述\": \"What does it mean to be special? Look at the people you think are exemplary, notable, or special in some way and identify the key characteristics that make it so for you. You might think people who stick up for themselves stand out in your mind as being special, or people who devote themselves fully to their work, or people who are reserved and stoic in the face of adversity. This will be different for all of us, so focus on figuring out what it is that you respect about your grandfather, your close friend, or a loved one, not what other people say.\\nTry to stay away from celebrities and stick to looking at people you know in real life. It's easy to identify superficial things, to say that Brad Pitt is special because he's so rich and good-looking, but it's hard to identify or even know the true core of his person. We can only see the public persona, which radiates artificial movie-star prestige, not the real person.\\nFocus on how other people’s characteristics resonate with your own core values and avoid focusing on superficial things. Being special is more about knowing who you are at your core, not from what you think other people are like.\\nAuthority doesn't make someone more special. If someone has power over you, is more successful than you, or is well-known and respected, that doesn't mean that you need to emulate them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take off your masks.\", \"描述\": \"We all wear them. When you go to work, you might have a professional mask, and when you meet up with a date after work you might switch into your dating mask. When you're with your friends, you might wear one mask, and when you're with your family, you might wear another. Once you go about the work of identifying the things that make you truly you, these masks become less useful. If you want to be special, let us see what's behind the mask.\\nTo figure out you relationship to your masks, try to think of a time that you felt you were being fake, or inauthentic. What were the circumstances? How did it make you feel?\\nCheck out your Facebook and Twitter feeds for a good example of digital masks in progress. People want to project images of themselves for others to digest, crafting that image in a particular way. It's inauthentic, in most cases. You're not getting the \\\"real\\\" version of someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your ego in check.\", \"描述\": \"A desire to be special is often a desire to be validated by others. We want to be respected, to be looked upon as successful, happy people who should be envied. But being special doesn't mean being exceptional at everything. It doesn't mean being the best tennis player, or the author with the most publications, or the richest lawyer at the law firm. It means being true to the authentic you-ness and staying true to your own integrity. Satisfy yourself, don't use the satisfaction of others to inflate your ego.\\nPsychologists will often refer to inner and outer locus of control. Someone with an inner locus of control finds satisfaction from within, looking to satisfy themselves with their work and actions. People with outer locus of control look to others for satisfaction. Which are you?\\nAvoid seeking validation from other people. Your own validation is all that you need to be special.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Surprise yourself.\", \"描述\": \"People who are truly special are always changing, shifting, and surprising themselves with their ability to grow as people and to develop their authentic inner selves. If you want to be special, identify a rut that you've been in, and try to get a fresh perspective on it.\\nKeep learning new skills, reading new books, and challenging yourself. You're never too old, too smart, or too experienced to have your preconceptions shaken. You're never too special to be wrong.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Standing Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put in your 10,000 hours.\", \"描述\": \"Lots of people are talented or naturally gifted at something, but that doesn't really make someone special. Developing a natural inclination for one thing or another can help, but it takes work to actual build that talent into something truly special. Commit to yourself and to building up your natural talents and abilities by working on them until you're an expert.\\nAuthor Malcolm Gladwell writes extensively of the 10,000 hour rule in his book \\\"Outliers: The Story of Success,\\\" that people who succeed and display true specialness have worked hard for it. It takes roughly 10,000 hours of committing to a craft, talent, or other ability before you can display any real talent or unique spice.\\nFocus on developing yourself and working, not on making yourself special overnight. The first draft of the first novel you ever tried to write isn't going to be genius, and that's ok. Keep working. Keep getting better.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be a lion or a lioness.\", \"描述\": \"People who are special don't wait around for good things to happen, special people go on the prowl for what they want, and take it. Special people have claws. Identify the things that would make you feel more satisfied, the things that would improve your condition, and identify the steps that will be necessary in getting them. Be ceaseless in your quest for those goals, things, and stages. Get what you want.\\nFocus less on excuses. People who aren't special spend a lot of time talking about \\\"back in the days\\\" and \\\"what ifs.\\\" Don't give yourself a chance to have those moments.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Uncensor yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Let yourself show. Be your true, liberated, uncensored, natural self when you're alone and when you're in public. If there is a single part of you that you don't let other people see, consider opening up more and being more vulnerable. If you tend toward the quiet, learn to start speaking your mind when it's necessary.\\nDon't be a \\\"yes\\\" person. If you disagree with someone, voice your dissent. People respect others who speak their mind and are unafraid of looking for the truth. If you're around people who need their ego inflated by glad-handing sycophants, well, they're not special. Ditch 'em.\\nBeing uncensored doesn't mean letting every thought that flits through your mind come out of your mouth. Being special doesn't mean being purposefully strange, cruel, or rude. It just means that you must stop quieting yourself when you should be speaking, acting, or thinking. If it needs saying, say it. If it needs thinking, think it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with new people.\", \"描述\": \"It's good to find your people, a tight-knit group of friends and loved ones that you feel comfortable with. But special people take extra effort to shake up their expectations and their preconceptions, and meet and attempt to understand all kinds of people. Be willing to listen.\\nIf you're a young person, getting a job can be a big learning experience and a way of helping to develop your empathy skills. try to get an after-school job for a few hours each week and take it seriously.\\nHang out with people who you actively disagree with on religious, political, or moral grounds. Don't try to convince people that they're wrong about something, try to understand them. Open your mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop your own style.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself a chance to feel confident and special by treating yourself and taking your appearance seriously. Buy clothes that are flattering to your shape and that you enjoy wearing. Groom yourself in a way that makes you feel confident. If that means crew-cut and cowboy boots, great. If that means waist-length dreads and Teva's, great. You don't need to be a Gucci model or competing in some kind of hipster Olympics to look special. There's no special style. Go with what looks good on you, what makes you feel confident.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Memorable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be positive or embrace your inner grouch.\", \"描述\": \"There's no special attitude, or special way of being. A special person doesn't need to be always grinning positively like an idiot or always deadly-serious and humorless like a monk. If you tend toward one or the other, don't worry about whether or not it's \\\"wrong.\\\" Just be yourself. If you're a hugger, be a hugger. If you're not a hugger, tell people you're not. Special and exceptional people come in all variety of temperaments and attitudes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop telling people what you think they want to hear.\", \"描述\": \"There's no one thing you can say that will make you special to others. Being agreeable doesn't make you special, it makes you agreeable. It might help you climb certain ladders, but are those really the ladders you want to be climbing? Be authentic to yourself and you'll be working toward a more authentic and satisfying path for yourself. Say what's on your mind. Tell the truth.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be willing to fail.\", \"描述\": \"Part of staying uncensored, unique, and special involves taking risks to get what you want. Don't let the possibility of failure keep you from getting what you want. Be willing to fail, and fail early, and fail often. Learn the wrong answers so you can be one step closer to getting what you want in the long run.\\nIn Silicon Valley, Fail-Con is a popular convention that celebrates start-up failures, allowing people to network and form around failed ideas and businesses. Every failure gets you one step closer to a success. Failure is infinitely better than inaction.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Empathize and see the specialness in others.\", \"描述\": \"While being special involves a lot of working on yourself, it's absolutely important that you keep yourself focused equally on others. Recognize the specialness and the exceptional qualities in others. Don't let your ego get in the way of respecting and celebrating special people. That'll make you more special in turn.\\nRespecting others mean making others feel special as well. Respect others as well and treat them equally as you treat yourself.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always be cheerful; it warms others hearts when you make a special effort to be nice to them. Anything that you do that is an effort to do is always special.\\n\", \"Everyone is priceless and when you know that, it helps you be you.\\n\", \"Smile more! Smiling shows that you're comfortable with yourself.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you offer help and they refuse, back off until they come to you. It will save you some time and trouble, and there are always other people willing to let you help them.\\n\", \"Watch out for grumpy people and people who always complain! They will make you feel bad about things and will keep you from feeling like a really special person.\\n\", \"Think before you speak or act. Sometimes you might want to help, but the other person wants to be able to do it themselves. By insisting on doing it for them you might damage their pride or their own sense of specialness, and hurt your relationship with them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,181 | How to Be Specific | 1. Deciding What Information to Include
1-1. Choose a topic that you're knowledgeable about.
The more you know about something, the easier it will be to conjure up specific images and facts.
If you're not knowledgeable about your topic, do some research so you can talk or write about it with more detail. If you are trying to be specific for an assignment, you'll probably need to do research.
If you're still not feeling confident in your abilities, look for ways that you can connect the topic to something you are more familiar with, or try to think of a sub-topic that you are more comfortable with. For example, if you have been assigned to talk about climate change, you could choose to talk about a particular aspect that you can connect with on a personal level, such as your love of polar bears and the danger that climate change will threaten their habitats.
1-2. Decide on a call to action.
This may sound complicated, but all it means is narrowing the focus of your argument and clearly stating what action you want people to take -- in other words, the purpose for your writing or speech. Whether you're telling a fictional story or making a philosophical argument, think about how you want people to feel and react. Don't lose sight of this objective as you continue to write or speak.
"Call to action" is a term typically used in marketing, but it can be used to apply to any kind of speaking or writing. No matter what the topic, think about your essay or speech as a marketing tool meant to convey a specific message and get people to react in a specific way.
Common purposes include: informing, persuading, recommending, arguing, advocating, explaining, instructing, and defending.
For example, if you have chosen to write about polar bears and climate change, your call to action might be related to the actions your audience can take to reduce the effects of climate change.
1-3. Make sure you answer the question.
If you are responding to a question, rebutting someone else's argument, or completing an assignment, think carefully about the specifics of the question you need to answer. It's okay to add some additional information on top of what was asked of you, but first you need to make sure your response thoroughly answers the specific question.
Think about which question word or words were used in the question. For example, if you were asked to describe what you do at work, it can be very easy to get sidetracked by talking about related topics, such as how you perform your job or why you chose your career path. This information might be interesting or important to your audience, but don't forget to answer the question first.
1-4. Think about length.
If you have to write a certain number of words or speak for a certain amount of time, make sure you are able to fit all of the most important information into your argument. If length is not dictated, think carefully about your message, your topic, and your audience to determine the appropriate length. You should aim to provide all the information your audience needs without challenging their attention spans.
Consider using the inverted pyramid style, which prioritizes the most essential information, and leaves less important details for the end, if you are concerned about your audience's attention span. This is not appropriate for every style of writing or speaking, but if you need to communicate a few key points, it can be a helpful tool.
If you have extra time or space that you need to fill, don't just add in extra words that don't provide any additional detail or insight. Instead, look for places where your audience would benefit from more detail, or try thinking of another connection you can make or another example you can cite.
Provide background information only if it's relevant. Irrelevant details will make your whole argument seem less directed.
1-5. Give examples.
Whether you are speaking or writing, your purpose will usually be to make an argument, and you will need examples to support that argument in order to make your audience believe it. Evidence is crucial to being specific.
Examples are explicitly stated in some formats, like political debates and research papers, and can be introduced directly by saying something such as, "For example." In other genres, such as creative writing, examples are more implicit. You may, for example, need to describe what a character is wearing and where she likes to shop for clothing, in order to communicate to your audience that she is fashionable.
While examples are essential, be careful not to overwhelm your audience. If you provide too many unrelated examples, your audience might lose track of your main point. You can avoid this by carefully evaluating all of the details you plan on using for each example and making sure there is always a direct connection back to your main argument.
1-6. Consider all the question words.
Unless the topic of your message is very narrow, you will usually want to answer who, what, when, and where. This is especially important in business communications. If you need something from someone, you will need to communicate what you need, who needs to do it, when it needs to be done, and where it needs to be done.
How and why may or may not be important, depending on your message. Think carefully about how your audience will interpret your message, and never assume that they will know what you mean unless you tell them.
1-7. Avoid generalizations.
Generalizations often end up in writing when you aren't sure what else to say. Common examples include "Since the beginning of time" or "People think..." These statements are usually too abstract and general to be helpful, and because they make such sweeping statements, they're also likely to be untrue.
For example, instead of beginning an essay by saying "Modern life has deteriorated because of technology," you might say "According to some experts, technology has caused communication problems between people and increased loneliness."
2. Choosing Your Words
2-1. Use adjectives and adverbs.
Descriptive words will help your audience understand exactly what it is you are talking about and make it more interesting for them to continue reading or listening. However, you don't want to go overboard with these, as they may be redundant or lack impact.
Think about how others might visualize the words you are using. If your words do not create a clear picture in your audience's head, chances are your language is too vague. For example, if you just say, "The man went to his house," your audience will not know what to imagine. If you say, "The tired old man went to his dark, empty house," your reader will be better able to imagine the scene.
However, the sentence "She stuttered haltingly as she spoke" uses an adverb inappropriately. "Stuttered" already includes the idea of halting speech, so the adverb is redundant -- or "fluff," in creative writing lingo.
If you're not sure whether or not your language is descriptive enough, read it to some of your peers and ask them to judge you on how you've done. Ask them where you were lacking in detail or where your language was not clear.
Instead of describing every single object you mention, focus on the ones that are most important to your message.
2-2. Use proper nouns.
Leave no room for confusion in your message by referencing names, titles, and places whenever possible.
2-3. Use time-sensitive words.
Make sure your audience understands exactly when something needs to be done by using specific terms like "on Monday" or "before 4:30 EST" instead of more vague terms like "next week" or "soon."
2-4. Show, don't tell.
For creative writing, use descriptive words and phrases based on all five senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. This can also be useful for other types of writing and speaking because it will allow your audience to experience the situation themselves and draw their own conclusions.
For example, the sentence "Deshawn was very happy" is not very detailed. It does not give the reader any idea of what Deshawn's happiness feels like. Instead, try something like "Deshawn felt his heart hammer in his chest as he rushed down the street to find his friend. He couldn't wait to share his good news." This concrete, specific detail about how Deshawn feels allows the reader to understand those emotions better.
In order to describe things in detail, you need to learn to observe them in detail. If this is difficult for you, practice paying attention to the tiny details involved in an everyday task, keeping all five senses in mind.
2-5. Know when to paraphrase.
If you are referencing someone else, consider using an exact quote. This works best when the quote is clear and succinct. If your source is difficult to understand or unnecessarily complicated, consider paraphrasing in order to better communicate the specific relevancy to the point you are trying to make.
Dialogue is essential to plot development and characterization in creative writing, so write it out instead of paraphrasing the conversation.
2-6. Expand your vocabulary
A broad vocabulary will help you communicate better because it will give you access to more words, allowing you to choose the one that conveys the exact details you were looking for.
Complex words are the right choice for some situations, but you should avoid using language that your audience will not understand. Remember, the main point is to effectively communicate your message, not to flaunt your vocabulary. You should also be cautious about using technical jargon if your audience is not likely to be familiar with it.
Dictionaries and thesauruses are very helpful tools if you are looking for the right word to describe something. If you are not sure if you are using a word correctly, always use a dictionary to check.
2-7. Avoid over-complicated syntax.
Make sure to place words in the correct order and use proper sentence structure so that your words will flow together. This will make things seem more clear and concise. For example, compare the following sentences:
"Industrial spying, because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information, is increasing rapidly." This is not clear, because the subordinate clause interrupts the main idea.
"Industrial spying is increasing rapidly because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information." This is clear, because the main idea is presented first.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Deciding What Information to Include\\n1-1. Choose a topic that you're knowledgeable about.\\nThe more you know about something, the easier it will be to conjure up specific images and facts.\\nIf you're not knowledgeable about your topic, do some research so you can talk or write about it with more detail. If you are trying to be specific for an assignment, you'll probably need to do research.\\nIf you're still not feeling confident in your abilities, look for ways that you can connect the topic to something you are more familiar with, or try to think of a sub-topic that you are more comfortable with. For example, if you have been assigned to talk about climate change, you could choose to talk about a particular aspect that you can connect with on a personal level, such as your love of polar bears and the danger that climate change will threaten their habitats.\\n1-2. Decide on a call to action.\\nThis may sound complicated, but all it means is narrowing the focus of your argument and clearly stating what action you want people to take -- in other words, the purpose for your writing or speech. Whether you're telling a fictional story or making a philosophical argument, think about how you want people to feel and react. Don't lose sight of this objective as you continue to write or speak.\\n\\\"Call to action\\\" is a term typically used in marketing, but it can be used to apply to any kind of speaking or writing. No matter what the topic, think about your essay or speech as a marketing tool meant to convey a specific message and get people to react in a specific way.\\nCommon purposes include: informing, persuading, recommending, arguing, advocating, explaining, instructing, and defending.\\nFor example, if you have chosen to write about polar bears and climate change, your call to action might be related to the actions your audience can take to reduce the effects of climate change.\\n1-3. Make sure you answer the question.\\nIf you are responding to a question, rebutting someone else's argument, or completing an assignment, think carefully about the specifics of the question you need to answer. It's okay to add some additional information on top of what was asked of you, but first you need to make sure your response thoroughly answers the specific question.\\nThink about which question word or words were used in the question. For example, if you were asked to describe what you do at work, it can be very easy to get sidetracked by talking about related topics, such as how you perform your job or why you chose your career path. This information might be interesting or important to your audience, but don't forget to answer the question first.\\n1-4. Think about length.\\nIf you have to write a certain number of words or speak for a certain amount of time, make sure you are able to fit all of the most important information into your argument. If length is not dictated, think carefully about your message, your topic, and your audience to determine the appropriate length. You should aim to provide all the information your audience needs without challenging their attention spans.\\nConsider using the inverted pyramid style, which prioritizes the most essential information, and leaves less important details for the end, if you are concerned about your audience's attention span. This is not appropriate for every style of writing or speaking, but if you need to communicate a few key points, it can be a helpful tool.\\nIf you have extra time or space that you need to fill, don't just add in extra words that don't provide any additional detail or insight. Instead, look for places where your audience would benefit from more detail, or try thinking of another connection you can make or another example you can cite.\\nProvide background information only if it's relevant. Irrelevant details will make your whole argument seem less directed.\\n1-5. Give examples.\\nWhether you are speaking or writing, your purpose will usually be to make an argument, and you will need examples to support that argument in order to make your audience believe it. Evidence is crucial to being specific.\\nExamples are explicitly stated in some formats, like political debates and research papers, and can be introduced directly by saying something such as, \\\"For example.\\\" In other genres, such as creative writing, examples are more implicit. You may, for example, need to describe what a character is wearing and where she likes to shop for clothing, in order to communicate to your audience that she is fashionable.\\nWhile examples are essential, be careful not to overwhelm your audience. If you provide too many unrelated examples, your audience might lose track of your main point. You can avoid this by carefully evaluating all of the details you plan on using for each example and making sure there is always a direct connection back to your main argument.\\n1-6. Consider all the question words.\\nUnless the topic of your message is very narrow, you will usually want to answer who, what, when, and where. This is especially important in business communications. If you need something from someone, you will need to communicate what you need, who needs to do it, when it needs to be done, and where it needs to be done.\\nHow and why may or may not be important, depending on your message. Think carefully about how your audience will interpret your message, and never assume that they will know what you mean unless you tell them.\\n1-7. Avoid generalizations.\\nGeneralizations often end up in writing when you aren't sure what else to say. Common examples include \\\"Since the beginning of time\\\" or \\\"People think...\\\" These statements are usually too abstract and general to be helpful, and because they make such sweeping statements, they're also likely to be untrue.\\nFor example, instead of beginning an essay by saying \\\"Modern life has deteriorated because of technology,\\\" you might say \\\"According to some experts, technology has caused communication problems between people and increased loneliness.\\\"\\n2. Choosing Your Words\\n2-1. Use adjectives and adverbs.\\nDescriptive words will help your audience understand exactly what it is you are talking about and make it more interesting for them to continue reading or listening. However, you don't want to go overboard with these, as they may be redundant or lack impact.\\nThink about how others might visualize the words you are using. If your words do not create a clear picture in your audience's head, chances are your language is too vague. For example, if you just say, \\\"The man went to his house,\\\" your audience will not know what to imagine. If you say, \\\"The tired old man went to his dark, empty house,\\\" your reader will be better able to imagine the scene.\\nHowever, the sentence \\\"She stuttered haltingly as she spoke\\\" uses an adverb inappropriately. \\\"Stuttered\\\" already includes the idea of halting speech, so the adverb is redundant -- or \\\"fluff,\\\" in creative writing lingo.\\nIf you're not sure whether or not your language is descriptive enough, read it to some of your peers and ask them to judge you on how you've done. Ask them where you were lacking in detail or where your language was not clear.\\nInstead of describing every single object you mention, focus on the ones that are most important to your message.\\n2-2. Use proper nouns.\\nLeave no room for confusion in your message by referencing names, titles, and places whenever possible.\\n2-3. Use time-sensitive words.\\nMake sure your audience understands exactly when something needs to be done by using specific terms like \\\"on Monday\\\" or \\\"before 4:30 EST\\\" instead of more vague terms like \\\"next week\\\" or \\\"soon.\\\"\\n2-4. Show, don't tell.\\nFor creative writing, use descriptive words and phrases based on all five senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. This can also be useful for other types of writing and speaking because it will allow your audience to experience the situation themselves and draw their own conclusions.\\nFor example, the sentence \\\"Deshawn was very happy\\\" is not very detailed. It does not give the reader any idea of what Deshawn's happiness feels like. Instead, try something like \\\"Deshawn felt his heart hammer in his chest as he rushed down the street to find his friend. He couldn't wait to share his good news.\\\" This concrete, specific detail about how Deshawn feels allows the reader to understand those emotions better.\\nIn order to describe things in detail, you need to learn to observe them in detail. If this is difficult for you, practice paying attention to the tiny details involved in an everyday task, keeping all five senses in mind.\\n2-5. Know when to paraphrase.\\nIf you are referencing someone else, consider using an exact quote. This works best when the quote is clear and succinct. If your source is difficult to understand or unnecessarily complicated, consider paraphrasing in order to better communicate the specific relevancy to the point you are trying to make.\\nDialogue is essential to plot development and characterization in creative writing, so write it out instead of paraphrasing the conversation.\\n2-6. Expand your vocabulary\\nA broad vocabulary will help you communicate better because it will give you access to more words, allowing you to choose the one that conveys the exact details you were looking for.\\nComplex words are the right choice for some situations, but you should avoid using language that your audience will not understand. Remember, the main point is to effectively communicate your message, not to flaunt your vocabulary. You should also be cautious about using technical jargon if your audience is not likely to be familiar with it.\\nDictionaries and thesauruses are very helpful tools if you are looking for the right word to describe something. If you are not sure if you are using a word correctly, always use a dictionary to check.\\n2-7. Avoid over-complicated syntax.\\nMake sure to place words in the correct order and use proper sentence structure so that your words will flow together. This will make things seem more clear and concise. For example, compare the following sentences:\\n\\\"Industrial spying, because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information, is increasing rapidly.\\\" This is not clear, because the subordinate clause interrupts the main idea.\\n\\\"Industrial spying is increasing rapidly because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information.\\\" This is clear, because the main idea is presented first.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In order to communicate effectively, it is important to be specific, rather than vague or ambiguous. Whether you are speaking or writing, you will have a much easier time getting your point across clearly when you choose descriptive words and have a precise intention in mind. Take some time to plan your message, and you will soon be enjoying the benefits of more specific communication.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Deciding What Information to Include\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a topic that you're knowledgeable about.\", \"描述\": \"The more you know about something, the easier it will be to conjure up specific images and facts.\\nIf you're not knowledgeable about your topic, do some research so you can talk or write about it with more detail. If you are trying to be specific for an assignment, you'll probably need to do research.\\nIf you're still not feeling confident in your abilities, look for ways that you can connect the topic to something you are more familiar with, or try to think of a sub-topic that you are more comfortable with. For example, if you have been assigned to talk about climate change, you could choose to talk about a particular aspect that you can connect with on a personal level, such as your love of polar bears and the danger that climate change will threaten their habitats.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Decide on a call to action.\", \"描述\": \"This may sound complicated, but all it means is narrowing the focus of your argument and clearly stating what action you want people to take -- in other words, the purpose for your writing or speech. Whether you're telling a fictional story or making a philosophical argument, think about how you want people to feel and react. Don't lose sight of this objective as you continue to write or speak.\\n\\\"Call to action\\\" is a term typically used in marketing, but it can be used to apply to any kind of speaking or writing. No matter what the topic, think about your essay or speech as a marketing tool meant to convey a specific message and get people to react in a specific way.\\nCommon purposes include: informing, persuading, recommending, arguing, advocating, explaining, instructing, and defending.\\nFor example, if you have chosen to write about polar bears and climate change, your call to action might be related to the actions your audience can take to reduce the effects of climate change.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make sure you answer the question.\", \"描述\": \"If you are responding to a question, rebutting someone else's argument, or completing an assignment, think carefully about the specifics of the question you need to answer. It's okay to add some additional information on top of what was asked of you, but first you need to make sure your response thoroughly answers the specific question.\\nThink about which question word or words were used in the question. For example, if you were asked to describe what you do at work, it can be very easy to get sidetracked by talking about related topics, such as how you perform your job or why you chose your career path. This information might be interesting or important to your audience, but don't forget to answer the question first.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think about length.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to write a certain number of words or speak for a certain amount of time, make sure you are able to fit all of the most important information into your argument. If length is not dictated, think carefully about your message, your topic, and your audience to determine the appropriate length. You should aim to provide all the information your audience needs without challenging their attention spans.\\nConsider using the inverted pyramid style, which prioritizes the most essential information, and leaves less important details for the end, if you are concerned about your audience's attention span. This is not appropriate for every style of writing or speaking, but if you need to communicate a few key points, it can be a helpful tool.\\nIf you have extra time or space that you need to fill, don't just add in extra words that don't provide any additional detail or insight. Instead, look for places where your audience would benefit from more detail, or try thinking of another connection you can make or another example you can cite.\\nProvide background information only if it's relevant. Irrelevant details will make your whole argument seem less directed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give examples.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you are speaking or writing, your purpose will usually be to make an argument, and you will need examples to support that argument in order to make your audience believe it. Evidence is crucial to being specific.\\nExamples are explicitly stated in some formats, like political debates and research papers, and can be introduced directly by saying something such as, \\\"For example.\\\" In other genres, such as creative writing, examples are more implicit. You may, for example, need to describe what a character is wearing and where she likes to shop for clothing, in order to communicate to your audience that she is fashionable.\\nWhile examples are essential, be careful not to overwhelm your audience. If you provide too many unrelated examples, your audience might lose track of your main point. You can avoid this by carefully evaluating all of the details you plan on using for each example and making sure there is always a direct connection back to your main argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Consider all the question words.\", \"描述\": \"Unless the topic of your message is very narrow, you will usually want to answer who, what, when, and where. This is especially important in business communications. If you need something from someone, you will need to communicate what you need, who needs to do it, when it needs to be done, and where it needs to be done.\\nHow and why may or may not be important, depending on your message. Think carefully about how your audience will interpret your message, and never assume that they will know what you mean unless you tell them.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid generalizations.\", \"描述\": \"Generalizations often end up in writing when you aren't sure what else to say. Common examples include \\\"Since the beginning of time\\\" or \\\"People think...\\\" These statements are usually too abstract and general to be helpful, and because they make such sweeping statements, they're also likely to be untrue.\\nFor example, instead of beginning an essay by saying \\\"Modern life has deteriorated because of technology,\\\" you might say \\\"According to some experts, technology has caused communication problems between people and increased loneliness.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choosing Your Words\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use adjectives and adverbs.\", \"描述\": \"Descriptive words will help your audience understand exactly what it is you are talking about and make it more interesting for them to continue reading or listening. However, you don't want to go overboard with these, as they may be redundant or lack impact.\\nThink about how others might visualize the words you are using. If your words do not create a clear picture in your audience's head, chances are your language is too vague. For example, if you just say, \\\"The man went to his house,\\\" your audience will not know what to imagine. If you say, \\\"The tired old man went to his dark, empty house,\\\" your reader will be better able to imagine the scene.\\nHowever, the sentence \\\"She stuttered haltingly as she spoke\\\" uses an adverb inappropriately. \\\"Stuttered\\\" already includes the idea of halting speech, so the adverb is redundant -- or \\\"fluff,\\\" in creative writing lingo.\\nIf you're not sure whether or not your language is descriptive enough, read it to some of your peers and ask them to judge you on how you've done. Ask them where you were lacking in detail or where your language was not clear.\\nInstead of describing every single object you mention, focus on the ones that are most important to your message.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use proper nouns.\", \"描述\": \"Leave no room for confusion in your message by referencing names, titles, and places whenever possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use time-sensitive words.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure your audience understands exactly when something needs to be done by using specific terms like \\\"on Monday\\\" or \\\"before 4:30 EST\\\" instead of more vague terms like \\\"next week\\\" or \\\"soon.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show, don't tell.\", \"描述\": \"For creative writing, use descriptive words and phrases based on all five senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. This can also be useful for other types of writing and speaking because it will allow your audience to experience the situation themselves and draw their own conclusions.\\nFor example, the sentence \\\"Deshawn was very happy\\\" is not very detailed. It does not give the reader any idea of what Deshawn's happiness feels like. Instead, try something like \\\"Deshawn felt his heart hammer in his chest as he rushed down the street to find his friend. He couldn't wait to share his good news.\\\" This concrete, specific detail about how Deshawn feels allows the reader to understand those emotions better.\\nIn order to describe things in detail, you need to learn to observe them in detail. If this is difficult for you, practice paying attention to the tiny details involved in an everyday task, keeping all five senses in mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know when to paraphrase.\", \"描述\": \"If you are referencing someone else, consider using an exact quote. This works best when the quote is clear and succinct. If your source is difficult to understand or unnecessarily complicated, consider paraphrasing in order to better communicate the specific relevancy to the point you are trying to make.\\nDialogue is essential to plot development and characterization in creative writing, so write it out instead of paraphrasing the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Expand your vocabulary\", \"描述\": \"A broad vocabulary will help you communicate better because it will give you access to more words, allowing you to choose the one that conveys the exact details you were looking for.\\nComplex words are the right choice for some situations, but you should avoid using language that your audience will not understand. Remember, the main point is to effectively communicate your message, not to flaunt your vocabulary. You should also be cautious about using technical jargon if your audience is not likely to be familiar with it.\\nDictionaries and thesauruses are very helpful tools if you are looking for the right word to describe something. If you are not sure if you are using a word correctly, always use a dictionary to check.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid over-complicated syntax.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to place words in the correct order and use proper sentence structure so that your words will flow together. This will make things seem more clear and concise. For example, compare the following sentences:\\n\\\"Industrial spying, because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information, is increasing rapidly.\\\" This is not clear, because the subordinate clause interrupts the main idea.\\n\\\"Industrial spying is increasing rapidly because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information.\\\" This is clear, because the main idea is presented first.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,182 | How to Be Stealthy | 1. Moving Stealthily
1-1. Walk like an animal.
You know how forest animals like deer and mountain lions can move through the woods without causing a stir? People, on the other hand, tend to tromp noisily through the woods, alerting others to their presence from half a mile away. The key to moving like an animal is to be tuned in with your environment. Be aware of the terrain through which you're moving, and try to flow with it instead of moving against it.
Notice your surroundings. If there's a low-hanging branch up ahead, carefully crouch under it instead of blazing through and causing the leaves to rustle.
Walk where there's cover. Whether you're walking through trees, buildings or furniture, stay close to cover, like an animal would. Don't walk in open areas where it's easy for you to be seen.
Have steady movements. Think of the way a cat moves when stalking its prey. Move your body in a steady rhythm so that the sounds you make are steady, too. Random sounds will be more noticeable.
Go on stealth runs and practice moving as quietly and unnoticeably as possible. Don't worry about how fast you're going.
1-2. Move close to the ground.
When you crouch close to the ground, you exert less force with each footstep, making it possible for you to walk almost soundlessly. Practice walking in a crouched position, absorbing the weight of your body with your knees. Engage all of your muscles.
1-3. Walk toe to heel.
Stepping down with your heel first usually produces a "thud" that others can hear. It also prevents you from being able to crouch easily and distribute your weight evenly across your body. Walk toe first so you can move quietly and fluidly over any terrain. This will feel unnatural at first, so it's important to practice often before you have to put your stealthy moves to the test.
You can run toe first, too. It's easier to do this barefoot or with minimalist shoes that don't have a lot of cushioning. Your body will naturally tend to lead with the balls of your feet rather than striking the ground forcefully with your heels.
1-4. Flow with the terrain.
When you're trying to be stealthy, walking the straightest line from point A to point B isn't always the best idea. Consider what path will get you where you need to go with the least chance of being seen or heard. Look for a way to get there without crossing someone else's path, spending too much time out in the open, or stepping on things that might make noise.
If you're in a forest, walk along game trails or dirt paths mostly clear of leaves and sticks. Watch out for puddles, gravel, rustling bushes, and crackly sticks.
If you're on city streets, edge along buildings and weave through alleys. Cross the street with large crowds of people. Avoid gravel, metal grates, and wooden boardwalks, which tend to be loud. Avoid areas where your footsteps might produce an echo, like tunnels and underpasses.
If you're indoors, weave through large items of furniture. Stay out of rooms that have a lot of clutter. Take back entrances instead of front doors. Choose carpeted rooms and staircases instead of hardwood floors and stairs.
If you are walking up wooden stairs, try stepping in the middle of the stair at the edge. It's structurally the strongest point on the stair and should reduce creaking to a minimum.
Do not follow roads if you are running from a car. This should be obvious, but you would be surprised.
1-5. Know when to be still.
If you're following someone from behind or trying to move to a new position without being seen, there will be moments when stillness is your greatest stealthy asset. When it's clear that someone heard you break a twig or graze a piece of furniture, find cover and stay as still as a log. Wait patiently until the person keeps walking and no longer seems aware of your presence, and then take extra care to move quietly to your destination.
1-6. Control your breathing.
Breathe slowly and evenly to avoid being heard. Breathe through your nose instead of your mouth. If you're out of breath, try making your throat as wide as possible while remaining comfortable. It may sound strange, but it works. Practice makes perfect.
If you're sneaking for the first time, you may be scared of getting caught, which could cause your breathing to quicken. If you feel panicked, try imagining that you're on a beach on a nice, warm, sunny day, or go to another "happy place" in your mind. Stay there until you feel calm.
1-7. Practice soft landings.
When you need to jump over obstacles like fences or benches, land softly by allowing your whole body to absorb the impact, not just your feet and knees. Land on the balls of your feet and immediately move into a crouch. Look for a landing spot clear of noisy materials like leaves or rocks.
2. Wearing Stealthy Gear
2-1. Choose stealthy footgear.
Your footgear can either aid your quest for becoming stealthy or be a dead giveaway of your presence, every time. You need to choose the proper footgear for the environment in when you'll be moving. Practice walking and running in your chosen footgear often, so you'll get used to the tiny noises it makes.
If you're in a house, it's best to wear socks, as they are soft, and they are comfortably fitting. Going barefoot is also a good option, unless the floors are wood. Depending on your natural tendencies, sweat and excess moisture may cause you to slightly stick to the floor. This doesn't hinder your pace, however if it is dead quiet, like the middle of the night, and a target is near, the tiny 'schluk' noises your foot may make can be very detrimental. Wearing socks is nearly always your best bet indoors. Carry your shoes with you and put them on when you're clear of the house.
If you're in a place with lots of grass or leaves, use socks or go with bare feet, carrying your shoes, however be wary about going barefoot in an area containing many rocks, glass/bottles, or patches of spiny plants. The last thing you want is a bleeding or painful foot while trying to sneak away. You could also wear toe shoes or water shoes, but be careful: if these types of shoes get soaked, they can emit a "squish" sound as your foot hits the ground.
To cross a rocky place (pebbles, gravel, etc.), you must use a pair of thick socks or bare feet. Soft socks and bare feet cushion the impact, but shoes will push the stones down and out, making the sound of rocks moving.
For walking in a mixed environment, like a suburban street with a road, gravel, and grass, wear running shoes with soft, flexible soles. Be careful not to walk flat-footed with these shoes.
2-2. Wear clothing that camouflages you.
The clothing you choose should match the colors of the terrain you'll be crossing, and the time of day should also be taken into account. Wear darker colors at night, and earth tones during the day. Choose fabrics that are comfortable and don't make swishy sounds. Cotton is always a good choice, and soft polyester fabrics also work well.
If you're walking around at night in a city, tight black clothing will do. If you're in a natural area (a field or forest) wear loose clothing to distort and break up the human figure. Wear dark browns and greens instead of black, because black stands out.
Don't wear anything that will reflect light. Remove shiny jewelry, and try wearing contacts instead of eyeglasses.
Try not to wear heavy gear. All it will do is fatigue you and make it harder to move. This will also make more noise.
2-3. Consider investing in some eye gear.
Night vision or infrared goggles are useful for helping you see in the dark. Binoculars may also be useful if you need to see objects that are far away.
3. Having Successful Missions
3-1. Know your area.
Walk the area in the light of day and take note of the lay of the land. Draw out a map of the area you'll be covering and be sure to study it before you embark on your mission. Make it as detailed as possible, drawing every object that could be an obstacle or a source of shelter - groves of trees, empty sheds, dumpsters, and so on.
3-2. Create hand signs to communicate.
If you're going out with a friend, you won't be able to call to one another. Learn sign language or make up your own hand signals to help you navigate the territory without speaking.
3-3. Use the bathroom before leaving for your excursions.
Have you ever played hide-and-seek and been in an excellent hiding place, then suddenly get struck with the urge to relieve yourself? Often the suspense and excitement of being found out, regardless of the situation, will stimulate a reaction in the bowels and bladder. Even if you feel no need to use the facilities ahead of time, it is still a good idea.
3-4. Use distraction techniques if necessary.
Bring a couple tiny, solid objects that you can throw and that are capable of making some sort of noise. Make sure that they are natural objects like rocks or something that goes with the environment; otherwise the person you are trying to distract may get suspicious. Throwing something can be used as a quick diversion if someone in the vicinity of where you are sneaking thinks they saw something moving or heard something unusual.
Take one of the objects out quickly and throw it at the nearest hard surface that is in the opposite direction to create noise. If the noise you made was louder than the one they think they heard, they are likely to look at where that noise came from, allowing you to slip away undetected.
You can pick up a stick or another object and throw it in a certain direction. The person will move to inspect it while you go in the opposite direction. Just remember that if the object is too big, the person looking for you might see it and find out not only that you're there, but also the direction it was thrown from.
3-5. Don't do anything illegal.
Don't enter private property without permission, and don't use these guidelines to burglarize a home. If you're doing something illegal, you will most likely get caught. Remember that movies are fiction, and thieves only get away because it furthers the plot.
Do not go into any areas with fake weapons (Airsoft, Nerf, etc.). If you do use airsoft, make sure any gun is not loaded.
3-6. Know what to do if you get caught.
If you are sneaking in a yard belonging to someone you do not know and someone yells at you, don't panic. It is a natural instinct to freeze in panic and breathe heavily. Have a story ready or explain that you were just playing a spy game with your friends. Keeping a small ball with you can be handy. If you spot someone, a good trick is to hold up the ball and explain that it had landed in that yard.
3-7. Don't be afraid to get dirty.
Be prepared to roll through grass and dive into ditches if you need to hide quickly.
3-8. Embrace the thrill.
It's thrilling to go somewhere you do not belong just because you can, with no ill intentions. This may seem odd, but it is true to many people who take part in "Urban Adventuring." If you can't get out at night for the extreme experience, try free running.
A fun thing to do with a (stealthy) friend is to set an objective, like getting to a cookie jar in a remote place. It should be something that can be done quietly, but perhaps not easily, such as removing an object from a container. With a friend, sneaking creates intense, exciting memories.
Tips
Holding your breath is good to hear better, but be careful not to exhale too quickly.
Try to stick to areas where the sound level is already somewhat loud; if the washing machine, sprinklers, TV, etc. are creating even small amounts of noise, it will help disguise the noise you make.
Practice climbing objects on your own to get better at situations that require quick movement. Also, practice climbing objects, unreachable by yourself, with a friend.
Warnings
Be sure you're not stepping on glass or rough surfaces.
Be prepared to face consequences if you're caught and do not have a story.
Sneak at your own risk.
Don't use these tips and tricks to hurt anyone.
Remember that stalking, acting as a peeping tom, and trespassing are all illegal activities in most areas. If you are in your neighbor's property, you will get jailed and fined.
Don't use these to break laws, there are repercussions.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Moving Stealthily\\n1-1. Walk like an animal.\\nYou know how forest animals like deer and mountain lions can move through the woods without causing a stir? People, on the other hand, tend to tromp noisily through the woods, alerting others to their presence from half a mile away. The key to moving like an animal is to be tuned in with your environment. Be aware of the terrain through which you're moving, and try to flow with it instead of moving against it.\\nNotice your surroundings. If there's a low-hanging branch up ahead, carefully crouch under it instead of blazing through and causing the leaves to rustle.\\nWalk where there's cover. Whether you're walking through trees, buildings or furniture, stay close to cover, like an animal would. Don't walk in open areas where it's easy for you to be seen.\\nHave steady movements. Think of the way a cat moves when stalking its prey. Move your body in a steady rhythm so that the sounds you make are steady, too. Random sounds will be more noticeable.\\nGo on stealth runs and practice moving as quietly and unnoticeably as possible. Don't worry about how fast you're going.\\n1-2. Move close to the ground.\\nWhen you crouch close to the ground, you exert less force with each footstep, making it possible for you to walk almost soundlessly. Practice walking in a crouched position, absorbing the weight of your body with your knees. Engage all of your muscles.\\n1-3. Walk toe to heel.\\nStepping down with your heel first usually produces a \\\"thud\\\" that others can hear. It also prevents you from being able to crouch easily and distribute your weight evenly across your body. Walk toe first so you can move quietly and fluidly over any terrain. This will feel unnatural at first, so it's important to practice often before you have to put your stealthy moves to the test.\\nYou can run toe first, too. It's easier to do this barefoot or with minimalist shoes that don't have a lot of cushioning. Your body will naturally tend to lead with the balls of your feet rather than striking the ground forcefully with your heels.\\n1-4. Flow with the terrain.\\nWhen you're trying to be stealthy, walking the straightest line from point A to point B isn't always the best idea. Consider what path will get you where you need to go with the least chance of being seen or heard. Look for a way to get there without crossing someone else's path, spending too much time out in the open, or stepping on things that might make noise.\\nIf you're in a forest, walk along game trails or dirt paths mostly clear of leaves and sticks. Watch out for puddles, gravel, rustling bushes, and crackly sticks.\\nIf you're on city streets, edge along buildings and weave through alleys. Cross the street with large crowds of people. Avoid gravel, metal grates, and wooden boardwalks, which tend to be loud. Avoid areas where your footsteps might produce an echo, like tunnels and underpasses.\\nIf you're indoors, weave through large items of furniture. Stay out of rooms that have a lot of clutter. Take back entrances instead of front doors. Choose carpeted rooms and staircases instead of hardwood floors and stairs.\\nIf you are walking up wooden stairs, try stepping in the middle of the stair at the edge. It's structurally the strongest point on the stair and should reduce creaking to a minimum.\\nDo not follow roads if you are running from a car. This should be obvious, but you would be surprised.\\n1-5. Know when to be still.\\nIf you're following someone from behind or trying to move to a new position without being seen, there will be moments when stillness is your greatest stealthy asset. When it's clear that someone heard you break a twig or graze a piece of furniture, find cover and stay as still as a log. Wait patiently until the person keeps walking and no longer seems aware of your presence, and then take extra care to move quietly to your destination.\\n1-6. Control your breathing.\\nBreathe slowly and evenly to avoid being heard. Breathe through your nose instead of your mouth. If you're out of breath, try making your throat as wide as possible while remaining comfortable. It may sound strange, but it works. Practice makes perfect.\\nIf you're sneaking for the first time, you may be scared of getting caught, which could cause your breathing to quicken. If you feel panicked, try imagining that you're on a beach on a nice, warm, sunny day, or go to another \\\"happy place\\\" in your mind. Stay there until you feel calm.\\n1-7. Practice soft landings.\\nWhen you need to jump over obstacles like fences or benches, land softly by allowing your whole body to absorb the impact, not just your feet and knees. Land on the balls of your feet and immediately move into a crouch. Look for a landing spot clear of noisy materials like leaves or rocks.\\n2. Wearing Stealthy Gear\\n2-1. Choose stealthy footgear.\\nYour footgear can either aid your quest for becoming stealthy or be a dead giveaway of your presence, every time. You need to choose the proper footgear for the environment in when you'll be moving. Practice walking and running in your chosen footgear often, so you'll get used to the tiny noises it makes.\\nIf you're in a house, it's best to wear socks, as they are soft, and they are comfortably fitting. Going barefoot is also a good option, unless the floors are wood. Depending on your natural tendencies, sweat and excess moisture may cause you to slightly stick to the floor. This doesn't hinder your pace, however if it is dead quiet, like the middle of the night, and a target is near, the tiny 'schluk' noises your foot may make can be very detrimental. Wearing socks is nearly always your best bet indoors. Carry your shoes with you and put them on when you're clear of the house.\\nIf you're in a place with lots of grass or leaves, use socks or go with bare feet, carrying your shoes, however be wary about going barefoot in an area containing many rocks, glass/bottles, or patches of spiny plants. The last thing you want is a bleeding or painful foot while trying to sneak away. You could also wear toe shoes or water shoes, but be careful: if these types of shoes get soaked, they can emit a \\\"squish\\\" sound as your foot hits the ground.\\nTo cross a rocky place (pebbles, gravel, etc.), you must use a pair of thick socks or bare feet. Soft socks and bare feet cushion the impact, but shoes will push the stones down and out, making the sound of rocks moving.\\nFor walking in a mixed environment, like a suburban street with a road, gravel, and grass, wear running shoes with soft, flexible soles. Be careful not to walk flat-footed with these shoes.\\n2-2. Wear clothing that camouflages you.\\nThe clothing you choose should match the colors of the terrain you'll be crossing, and the time of day should also be taken into account. Wear darker colors at night, and earth tones during the day. Choose fabrics that are comfortable and don't make swishy sounds. Cotton is always a good choice, and soft polyester fabrics also work well.\\nIf you're walking around at night in a city, tight black clothing will do. If you're in a natural area (a field or forest) wear loose clothing to distort and break up the human figure. Wear dark browns and greens instead of black, because black stands out.\\nDon't wear anything that will reflect light. Remove shiny jewelry, and try wearing contacts instead of eyeglasses.\\nTry not to wear heavy gear. All it will do is fatigue you and make it harder to move. This will also make more noise.\\n2-3. Consider investing in some eye gear.\\nNight vision or infrared goggles are useful for helping you see in the dark. Binoculars may also be useful if you need to see objects that are far away.\\n3. Having Successful Missions\\n3-1. Know your area.\\nWalk the area in the light of day and take note of the lay of the land. Draw out a map of the area you'll be covering and be sure to study it before you embark on your mission. Make it as detailed as possible, drawing every object that could be an obstacle or a source of shelter - groves of trees, empty sheds, dumpsters, and so on.\\n3-2. Create hand signs to communicate.\\nIf you're going out with a friend, you won't be able to call to one another. Learn sign language or make up your own hand signals to help you navigate the territory without speaking.\\n3-3. Use the bathroom before leaving for your excursions.\\nHave you ever played hide-and-seek and been in an excellent hiding place, then suddenly get struck with the urge to relieve yourself? Often the suspense and excitement of being found out, regardless of the situation, will stimulate a reaction in the bowels and bladder. Even if you feel no need to use the facilities ahead of time, it is still a good idea.\\n3-4. Use distraction techniques if necessary.\\nBring a couple tiny, solid objects that you can throw and that are capable of making some sort of noise. Make sure that they are natural objects like rocks or something that goes with the environment; otherwise the person you are trying to distract may get suspicious. Throwing something can be used as a quick diversion if someone in the vicinity of where you are sneaking thinks they saw something moving or heard something unusual.\\nTake one of the objects out quickly and throw it at the nearest hard surface that is in the opposite direction to create noise. If the noise you made was louder than the one they think they heard, they are likely to look at where that noise came from, allowing you to slip away undetected.\\nYou can pick up a stick or another object and throw it in a certain direction. The person will move to inspect it while you go in the opposite direction. Just remember that if the object is too big, the person looking for you might see it and find out not only that you're there, but also the direction it was thrown from.\\n3-5. Don't do anything illegal.\\nDon't enter private property without permission, and don't use these guidelines to burglarize a home. If you're doing something illegal, you will most likely get caught. Remember that movies are fiction, and thieves only get away because it furthers the plot.\\nDo not go into any areas with fake weapons (Airsoft, Nerf, etc.). If you do use airsoft, make sure any gun is not loaded.\\n3-6. Know what to do if you get caught.\\nIf you are sneaking in a yard belonging to someone you do not know and someone yells at you, don't panic. It is a natural instinct to freeze in panic and breathe heavily. Have a story ready or explain that you were just playing a spy game with your friends. Keeping a small ball with you can be handy. If you spot someone, a good trick is to hold up the ball and explain that it had landed in that yard.\\n3-7. Don't be afraid to get dirty.\\nBe prepared to roll through grass and dive into ditches if you need to hide quickly.\\n3-8. Embrace the thrill.\\nIt's thrilling to go somewhere you do not belong just because you can, with no ill intentions. This may seem odd, but it is true to many people who take part in \\\"Urban Adventuring.\\\" If you can't get out at night for the extreme experience, try free running.\\nA fun thing to do with a (stealthy) friend is to set an objective, like getting to a cookie jar in a remote place. It should be something that can be done quietly, but perhaps not easily, such as removing an object from a container. With a friend, sneaking creates intense, exciting memories.\\nTips\\nHolding your breath is good to hear better, but be careful not to exhale too quickly.\\nTry to stick to areas where the sound level is already somewhat loud; if the washing machine, sprinklers, TV, etc. are creating even small amounts of noise, it will help disguise the noise you make.\\nPractice climbing objects on your own to get better at situations that require quick movement. Also, practice climbing objects, unreachable by yourself, with a friend.\\nWarnings\\nBe sure you're not stepping on glass or rough surfaces.\\nBe prepared to face consequences if you're caught and do not have a story.\\nSneak at your own risk.\\nDon't use these tips and tricks to hurt anyone.\\nRemember that stalking, acting as a peeping tom, and trespassing are all illegal activities in most areas. If you are in your neighbor's property, you will get jailed and fined.\\nDon't use these to break laws, there are repercussions.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever tried to catch someone stealthily by surprise, only to have them turn around and ask why you're making so much noise? Have you ever attempted to sneak out of your house and been caught before you made it out your front door? Being stealthy takes practice, but anyone can learn how to do it. If you want to learn how to move through forests, urban streets, and your backyard without making a sound, keep reading.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Moving Stealthily\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk like an animal.\", \"描述\": \"You know how forest animals like deer and mountain lions can move through the woods without causing a stir? People, on the other hand, tend to tromp noisily through the woods, alerting others to their presence from half a mile away. The key to moving like an animal is to be tuned in with your environment. Be aware of the terrain through which you're moving, and try to flow with it instead of moving against it.\\nNotice your surroundings. If there's a low-hanging branch up ahead, carefully crouch under it instead of blazing through and causing the leaves to rustle.\\nWalk where there's cover. Whether you're walking through trees, buildings or furniture, stay close to cover, like an animal would. Don't walk in open areas where it's easy for you to be seen.\\nHave steady movements. Think of the way a cat moves when stalking its prey. Move your body in a steady rhythm so that the sounds you make are steady, too. Random sounds will be more noticeable.\\nGo on stealth runs and practice moving as quietly and unnoticeably as possible. Don't worry about how fast you're going.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Move close to the ground.\", \"描述\": \"When you crouch close to the ground, you exert less force with each footstep, making it possible for you to walk almost soundlessly. Practice walking in a crouched position, absorbing the weight of your body with your knees. Engage all of your muscles.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Walk toe to heel.\", \"描述\": \"Stepping down with your heel first usually produces a \\\"thud\\\" that others can hear. It also prevents you from being able to crouch easily and distribute your weight evenly across your body. Walk toe first so you can move quietly and fluidly over any terrain. This will feel unnatural at first, so it's important to practice often before you have to put your stealthy moves to the test.\\nYou can run toe first, too. It's easier to do this barefoot or with minimalist shoes that don't have a lot of cushioning. Your body will naturally tend to lead with the balls of your feet rather than striking the ground forcefully with your heels.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flow with the terrain.\", \"描述\": \"When you're trying to be stealthy, walking the straightest line from point A to point B isn't always the best idea. Consider what path will get you where you need to go with the least chance of being seen or heard. Look for a way to get there without crossing someone else's path, spending too much time out in the open, or stepping on things that might make noise.\\nIf you're in a forest, walk along game trails or dirt paths mostly clear of leaves and sticks. Watch out for puddles, gravel, rustling bushes, and crackly sticks.\\nIf you're on city streets, edge along buildings and weave through alleys. Cross the street with large crowds of people. Avoid gravel, metal grates, and wooden boardwalks, which tend to be loud. Avoid areas where your footsteps might produce an echo, like tunnels and underpasses.\\nIf you're indoors, weave through large items of furniture. Stay out of rooms that have a lot of clutter. Take back entrances instead of front doors. Choose carpeted rooms and staircases instead of hardwood floors and stairs.\\nIf you are walking up wooden stairs, try stepping in the middle of the stair at the edge. It's structurally the strongest point on the stair and should reduce creaking to a minimum.\\nDo not follow roads if you are running from a car. This should be obvious, but you would be surprised.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know when to be still.\", \"描述\": \"If you're following someone from behind or trying to move to a new position without being seen, there will be moments when stillness is your greatest stealthy asset. When it's clear that someone heard you break a twig or graze a piece of furniture, find cover and stay as still as a log. Wait patiently until the person keeps walking and no longer seems aware of your presence, and then take extra care to move quietly to your destination.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Control your breathing.\", \"描述\": \"Breathe slowly and evenly to avoid being heard. Breathe through your nose instead of your mouth. If you're out of breath, try making your throat as wide as possible while remaining comfortable. It may sound strange, but it works. Practice makes perfect.\\nIf you're sneaking for the first time, you may be scared of getting caught, which could cause your breathing to quicken. If you feel panicked, try imagining that you're on a beach on a nice, warm, sunny day, or go to another \\\"happy place\\\" in your mind. Stay there until you feel calm.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Practice soft landings.\", \"描述\": \"When you need to jump over obstacles like fences or benches, land softly by allowing your whole body to absorb the impact, not just your feet and knees. Land on the balls of your feet and immediately move into a crouch. Look for a landing spot clear of noisy materials like leaves or rocks.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wearing Stealthy Gear\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose stealthy footgear.\", \"描述\": \"Your footgear can either aid your quest for becoming stealthy or be a dead giveaway of your presence, every time. You need to choose the proper footgear for the environment in when you'll be moving. Practice walking and running in your chosen footgear often, so you'll get used to the tiny noises it makes.\\nIf you're in a house, it's best to wear socks, as they are soft, and they are comfortably fitting. Going barefoot is also a good option, unless the floors are wood. Depending on your natural tendencies, sweat and excess moisture may cause you to slightly stick to the floor. This doesn't hinder your pace, however if it is dead quiet, like the middle of the night, and a target is near, the tiny 'schluk' noises your foot may make can be very detrimental. Wearing socks is nearly always your best bet indoors. Carry your shoes with you and put them on when you're clear of the house.\\nIf you're in a place with lots of grass or leaves, use socks or go with bare feet, carrying your shoes, however be wary about going barefoot in an area containing many rocks, glass/bottles, or patches of spiny plants. The last thing you want is a bleeding or painful foot while trying to sneak away. You could also wear toe shoes or water shoes, but be careful: if these types of shoes get soaked, they can emit a \\\"squish\\\" sound as your foot hits the ground.\\nTo cross a rocky place (pebbles, gravel, etc.), you must use a pair of thick socks or bare feet. Soft socks and bare feet cushion the impact, but shoes will push the stones down and out, making the sound of rocks moving.\\nFor walking in a mixed environment, like a suburban street with a road, gravel, and grass, wear running shoes with soft, flexible soles. Be careful not to walk flat-footed with these shoes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear clothing that camouflages you.\", \"描述\": \"The clothing you choose should match the colors of the terrain you'll be crossing, and the time of day should also be taken into account. Wear darker colors at night, and earth tones during the day. Choose fabrics that are comfortable and don't make swishy sounds. Cotton is always a good choice, and soft polyester fabrics also work well.\\nIf you're walking around at night in a city, tight black clothing will do. If you're in a natural area (a field or forest) wear loose clothing to distort and break up the human figure. Wear dark browns and greens instead of black, because black stands out.\\nDon't wear anything that will reflect light. Remove shiny jewelry, and try wearing contacts instead of eyeglasses.\\nTry not to wear heavy gear. All it will do is fatigue you and make it harder to move. This will also make more noise.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider investing in some eye gear.\", \"描述\": \"Night vision or infrared goggles are useful for helping you see in the dark. Binoculars may also be useful if you need to see objects that are far away.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Having Successful Missions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know your area.\", \"描述\": \"Walk the area in the light of day and take note of the lay of the land. Draw out a map of the area you'll be covering and be sure to study it before you embark on your mission. Make it as detailed as possible, drawing every object that could be an obstacle or a source of shelter - groves of trees, empty sheds, dumpsters, and so on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create hand signs to communicate.\", \"描述\": \"If you're going out with a friend, you won't be able to call to one another. Learn sign language or make up your own hand signals to help you navigate the territory without speaking.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use the bathroom before leaving for your excursions.\", \"描述\": \"Have you ever played hide-and-seek and been in an excellent hiding place, then suddenly get struck with the urge to relieve yourself? Often the suspense and excitement of being found out, regardless of the situation, will stimulate a reaction in the bowels and bladder. Even if you feel no need to use the facilities ahead of time, it is still a good idea.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use distraction techniques if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Bring a couple tiny, solid objects that you can throw and that are capable of making some sort of noise. Make sure that they are natural objects like rocks or something that goes with the environment; otherwise the person you are trying to distract may get suspicious. Throwing something can be used as a quick diversion if someone in the vicinity of where you are sneaking thinks they saw something moving or heard something unusual.\\nTake one of the objects out quickly and throw it at the nearest hard surface that is in the opposite direction to create noise. If the noise you made was louder than the one they think they heard, they are likely to look at where that noise came from, allowing you to slip away undetected.\\nYou can pick up a stick or another object and throw it in a certain direction. The person will move to inspect it while you go in the opposite direction. Just remember that if the object is too big, the person looking for you might see it and find out not only that you're there, but also the direction it was thrown from.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't do anything illegal.\", \"描述\": \"Don't enter private property without permission, and don't use these guidelines to burglarize a home. If you're doing something illegal, you will most likely get caught. Remember that movies are fiction, and thieves only get away because it furthers the plot.\\nDo not go into any areas with fake weapons (Airsoft, Nerf, etc.). If you do use airsoft, make sure any gun is not loaded.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know what to do if you get caught.\", \"描述\": \"If you are sneaking in a yard belonging to someone you do not know and someone yells at you, don't panic. It is a natural instinct to freeze in panic and breathe heavily. Have a story ready or explain that you were just playing a spy game with your friends. Keeping a small ball with you can be handy. If you spot someone, a good trick is to hold up the ball and explain that it had landed in that yard.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to get dirty.\", \"描述\": \"Be prepared to roll through grass and dive into ditches if you need to hide quickly.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Embrace the thrill.\", \"描述\": \"It's thrilling to go somewhere you do not belong just because you can, with no ill intentions. This may seem odd, but it is true to many people who take part in \\\"Urban Adventuring.\\\" If you can't get out at night for the extreme experience, try free running.\\nA fun thing to do with a (stealthy) friend is to set an objective, like getting to a cookie jar in a remote place. It should be something that can be done quietly, but perhaps not easily, such as removing an object from a container. With a friend, sneaking creates intense, exciting memories.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Holding your breath is good to hear better, but be careful not to exhale too quickly.\\n\", \"Try to stick to areas where the sound level is already somewhat loud; if the washing machine, sprinklers, TV, etc. are creating even small amounts of noise, it will help disguise the noise you make.\\n\", \"Practice climbing objects on your own to get better at situations that require quick movement. Also, practice climbing objects, unreachable by yourself, with a friend.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be sure you're not stepping on glass or rough surfaces.\\n\", \"Be prepared to face consequences if you're caught and do not have a story.\\n\", \"Sneak at your own risk.\\n\", \"Don't use these tips and tricks to hurt anyone.\\n\", \"Remember that stalking, acting as a peeping tom, and trespassing are all illegal activities in most areas. If you are in your neighbor's property, you will get jailed and fined.\\n\", \"Don't use these to break laws, there are repercussions.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,183 | How to Be Still for a Long Period of Time | 1. Stilling Your Body
1-1. Set aside a specific time to be still.
There will always be a long list of things to do that may require your immediate attention; however, it’s important that you establish a period of uninterrupted time when you refrain from any activity that shifts your focus away from being completely still.
Early mornings usually work well because you have not begun your daily routine, and the likelihood of the house still being quiet is greater.
Late night is another option because your mind starts to settle down and your body begins to relax, primarily because you’ve finished doing all of the things that you had to do for the day.
1-2. Choose a designated place where you can go and be completely still.
You should have a designated area where you go that is free from noise and external distractions.
A quiet space in your house that’s separate from the other areas in your house will work.
Parking and sitting in your car at a quiet location is another option.
Consider going on a retreat, where you can have an extended period of peace for several days.
1-3. Get comfortable and relaxed.
Once you’ve settled into your designated area, you should get completely comfortable. Make sure your body is in a comfortable position that you can sustain for a reasonable amount of time.
If necessary, take a few minutes to do some light stretching to release muscle tension in your body.
Taking a few deep breaths is a common relaxation technique, which increases the level of oxygen to your brain, enabling you to relax better.
1-4. Posture your body for stillness.
Initially, you may be a little restless because the nature of the body is such that as soon as you tell it to be still, it gives you hundreds of reasons why it should move. Send an internal message to your body that it’s time to maintain stillness. Although you will have to choose the best posture for yourself, there are some recommended techniques that will help position your body for stillness.
You may choose to sit on the floor, sit in a chair, kneel on the floor, or lie down. If you choose to sit in a chair, make sure that you sit upright with your head, neck, and torso aligned. Your lower body should also be in a comfortable position. If you’re sitting on the floor, it helps to cross your legs if you can.
Putting your hands on your knees or thighs usually works well.
Tell your body that it’s going to sit still and completely motionless except for breath no matter what.
1-5. Close your eyes.
Although some people find it easier to keep their eyes opened, by closing your eyes, you prevent yourself from looking around and becoming easily distracted by your environment.
Shutting your eyes limits the potential of bright light to keep brain activity stimulated.
2. Quieting Your Mind
2-1. Clear your thoughts.
Once you’re in a comfortable and relaxed position, and you’ve postured your body for stillness, you will need to clear your thoughts and let go of all the mental chatter. It never fails; once you sit still, the activity in your mind tends to increase. Therefore, you will need to rein in the distractive thoughts that start to flood your mind.
You can start with a statement like “I'm not worried about anything right now. I just want to have a moment without unnecessary thoughts." But you may need to repeat that statement a few times while taking deep breaths.
Whenever your mind starts to wander, try mentally counting down.
2-2. Focus on simply breathing.
Being mindful of how you’re breathing helps you to relax and be still. Also, paying attention to how you breathe helps you to gradually begin to concentrate.
Listen to your breath.
Inhale and exhale naturally.
Don’t try to manipulate your breathing pattern.
Allow yourself to feel the air moving in and out of your nose.
2-3. Let things go.
Avoid worrying about everything that you have to do that day or the next day. And don’t allow your mind to drift off into memories of the past or thoughts about the future.
Be present in the moment. By practicing the awareness of your stillness, it can help you to remain still.
If you hear a distracting sound, just try to quickly refocus on your breathing.
When a physical sensation comes, such as an itch, try to avoid responding to it while you are being still.
2-4. Train your mind to visualize something that is still or an image that is typically associated with peace.
Having an object to concentrate on can keep your mind from wandering. For example, a waterfall, a beach, or a tree, and try to only focus on it. The goal is to let your mind achieve relaxed awareness.
Having a picture of a tranquil setting may be helpful.
Allowing your senses to come into your visualization experience works as well.
Tips
Being still for a long period of time requires practice and will power, so don’t give up if you find it difficult to sit still the first few times you try.
The more you train your body to be still, the more natural it will become for you.
Warnings
If you begin to feel any strain to your neck and shoulders make sure that you reposition yourself.
If you start to feel uncomfortable or experience stress on your muscles, make the necessary adjustments to your posture.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Stilling Your Body\\n1-1. Set aside a specific time to be still.\\nThere will always be a long list of things to do that may require your immediate attention; however, it’s important that you establish a period of uninterrupted time when you refrain from any activity that shifts your focus away from being completely still.\\nEarly mornings usually work well because you have not begun your daily routine, and the likelihood of the house still being quiet is greater.\\nLate night is another option because your mind starts to settle down and your body begins to relax, primarily because you’ve finished doing all of the things that you had to do for the day.\\n1-2. Choose a designated place where you can go and be completely still.\\nYou should have a designated area where you go that is free from noise and external distractions.\\nA quiet space in your house that’s separate from the other areas in your house will work.\\nParking and sitting in your car at a quiet location is another option.\\nConsider going on a retreat, where you can have an extended period of peace for several days.\\n1-3. Get comfortable and relaxed.\\nOnce you’ve settled into your designated area, you should get completely comfortable. Make sure your body is in a comfortable position that you can sustain for a reasonable amount of time.\\nIf necessary, take a few minutes to do some light stretching to release muscle tension in your body.\\nTaking a few deep breaths is a common relaxation technique, which increases the level of oxygen to your brain, enabling you to relax better.\\n1-4. Posture your body for stillness.\\nInitially, you may be a little restless because the nature of the body is such that as soon as you tell it to be still, it gives you hundreds of reasons why it should move. Send an internal message to your body that it’s time to maintain stillness. Although you will have to choose the best posture for yourself, there are some recommended techniques that will help position your body for stillness.\\nYou may choose to sit on the floor, sit in a chair, kneel on the floor, or lie down. If you choose to sit in a chair, make sure that you sit upright with your head, neck, and torso aligned. Your lower body should also be in a comfortable position. If you’re sitting on the floor, it helps to cross your legs if you can.\\nPutting your hands on your knees or thighs usually works well.\\nTell your body that it’s going to sit still and completely motionless except for breath no matter what.\\n1-5. Close your eyes.\\nAlthough some people find it easier to keep their eyes opened, by closing your eyes, you prevent yourself from looking around and becoming easily distracted by your environment.\\nShutting your eyes limits the potential of bright light to keep brain activity stimulated.\\n2. Quieting Your Mind\\n2-1. Clear your thoughts.\\nOnce you’re in a comfortable and relaxed position, and you’ve postured your body for stillness, you will need to clear your thoughts and let go of all the mental chatter. It never fails; once you sit still, the activity in your mind tends to increase. Therefore, you will need to rein in the distractive thoughts that start to flood your mind.\\nYou can start with a statement like “I'm not worried about anything right now. I just want to have a moment without unnecessary thoughts.\\\" But you may need to repeat that statement a few times while taking deep breaths.\\nWhenever your mind starts to wander, try mentally counting down.\\n2-2. Focus on simply breathing.\\nBeing mindful of how you’re breathing helps you to relax and be still. Also, paying attention to how you breathe helps you to gradually begin to concentrate.\\nListen to your breath.\\nInhale and exhale naturally.\\nDon’t try to manipulate your breathing pattern.\\nAllow yourself to feel the air moving in and out of your nose.\\n2-3. Let things go.\\nAvoid worrying about everything that you have to do that day or the next day. And don’t allow your mind to drift off into memories of the past or thoughts about the future. \\nBe present in the moment. By practicing the awareness of your stillness, it can help you to remain still.\\nIf you hear a distracting sound, just try to quickly refocus on your breathing.\\nWhen a physical sensation comes, such as an itch, try to avoid responding to it while you are being still.\\n2-4. Train your mind to visualize something that is still or an image that is typically associated with peace.\\nHaving an object to concentrate on can keep your mind from wandering. For example, a waterfall, a beach, or a tree, and try to only focus on it. The goal is to let your mind achieve relaxed awareness.\\nHaving a picture of a tranquil setting may be helpful.\\nAllowing your senses to come into your visualization experience works as well.\\nTips\\nBeing still for a long period of time requires practice and will power, so don’t give up if you find it difficult to sit still the first few times you try.\\nThe more you train your body to be still, the more natural it will become for you.\\nWarnings\\nIf you begin to feel any strain to your neck and shoulders make sure that you reposition yourself.\\nIf you start to feel uncomfortable or experience stress on your muscles, make the necessary adjustments to your posture.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Multitasking, daily demands, and constant distractions of life that require continual movement are probably the reasons why you often find it difficult to be still for a long period of time. Whether it’s a shortened attention span or the need to sustain a high level of activity in a fast-paced environment, the inability to be still has become a challenge for you. The good news is, with a focused effort on your body and mind, there are steps that you can take to help you settle down and be still for a long period of time on a regular basis.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stilling Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set aside a specific time to be still.\", \"描述\": \"There will always be a long list of things to do that may require your immediate attention; however, it’s important that you establish a period of uninterrupted time when you refrain from any activity that shifts your focus away from being completely still.\\nEarly mornings usually work well because you have not begun your daily routine, and the likelihood of the house still being quiet is greater.\\nLate night is another option because your mind starts to settle down and your body begins to relax, primarily because you’ve finished doing all of the things that you had to do for the day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose a designated place where you can go and be completely still.\", \"描述\": \"You should have a designated area where you go that is free from noise and external distractions.\\nA quiet space in your house that’s separate from the other areas in your house will work.\\nParking and sitting in your car at a quiet location is another option.\\nConsider going on a retreat, where you can have an extended period of peace for several days.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get comfortable and relaxed.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve settled into your designated area, you should get completely comfortable. Make sure your body is in a comfortable position that you can sustain for a reasonable amount of time.\\nIf necessary, take a few minutes to do some light stretching to release muscle tension in your body.\\nTaking a few deep breaths is a common relaxation technique, which increases the level of oxygen to your brain, enabling you to relax better.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Posture your body for stillness.\", \"描述\": \"Initially, you may be a little restless because the nature of the body is such that as soon as you tell it to be still, it gives you hundreds of reasons why it should move. Send an internal message to your body that it’s time to maintain stillness. Although you will have to choose the best posture for yourself, there are some recommended techniques that will help position your body for stillness.\\nYou may choose to sit on the floor, sit in a chair, kneel on the floor, or lie down. If you choose to sit in a chair, make sure that you sit upright with your head, neck, and torso aligned. Your lower body should also be in a comfortable position. If you’re sitting on the floor, it helps to cross your legs if you can.\\nPutting your hands on your knees or thighs usually works well.\\nTell your body that it’s going to sit still and completely motionless except for breath no matter what.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Close your eyes.\", \"描述\": \"Although some people find it easier to keep their eyes opened, by closing your eyes, you prevent yourself from looking around and becoming easily distracted by your environment.\\nShutting your eyes limits the potential of bright light to keep brain activity stimulated.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Quieting Your Mind\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Clear your thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’re in a comfortable and relaxed position, and you’ve postured your body for stillness, you will need to clear your thoughts and let go of all the mental chatter. It never fails; once you sit still, the activity in your mind tends to increase. Therefore, you will need to rein in the distractive thoughts that start to flood your mind.\\nYou can start with a statement like “I'm not worried about anything right now. I just want to have a moment without unnecessary thoughts.\\\" But you may need to repeat that statement a few times while taking deep breaths.\\nWhenever your mind starts to wander, try mentally counting down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on simply breathing.\", \"描述\": \"Being mindful of how you’re breathing helps you to relax and be still. Also, paying attention to how you breathe helps you to gradually begin to concentrate.\\nListen to your breath.\\nInhale and exhale naturally.\\nDon’t try to manipulate your breathing pattern.\\nAllow yourself to feel the air moving in and out of your nose.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let things go.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid worrying about everything that you have to do that day or the next day. And don’t allow your mind to drift off into memories of the past or thoughts about the future. \\nBe present in the moment. By practicing the awareness of your stillness, it can help you to remain still.\\nIf you hear a distracting sound, just try to quickly refocus on your breathing.\\nWhen a physical sensation comes, such as an itch, try to avoid responding to it while you are being still.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Train your mind to visualize something that is still or an image that is typically associated with peace.\", \"描述\": \"Having an object to concentrate on can keep your mind from wandering. For example, a waterfall, a beach, or a tree, and try to only focus on it. The goal is to let your mind achieve relaxed awareness.\\nHaving a picture of a tranquil setting may be helpful.\\nAllowing your senses to come into your visualization experience works as well.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being still for a long period of time requires practice and will power, so don’t give up if you find it difficult to sit still the first few times you try.\\n\", \"The more you train your body to be still, the more natural it will become for you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you begin to feel any strain to your neck and shoulders make sure that you reposition yourself.\\n\", \"If you start to feel uncomfortable or experience stress on your muscles, make the necessary adjustments to your posture.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,184 | How to Be Stoic | 1. Developing a Stoic Mindset
1-1. Accept what you cannot change.
Some things, such as world events and natural disasters, are beyond your control, and there’s no use beating yourself up about something you can’t change. Focus instead on things you can change, like your own choices and judgments.
Think of a tennis game. You can’t control things like the skill of your opponent, the referee’s calls, or how random wind gusts might affect the ball. On the other hand, you can decide how much to practice before the game, to show up well-rested, and not to stay up all night partying before the match.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't care about outside things at all. If you can invest your time into external events that are important, feel free to do it. For example, you can stand up for minorities, yet it's unwise to be affected by thoughts of how painful their lives are and how you're suffering too. Even though you can show compassion for them, don't become pitiful.
This will allow you some sort of neutrality in emotional situations, which in turn will help you listen to the other person and make better decisions.
1-2. Think before you speak and emotionally react.
Work on having more self-control and self-awareness. Being stoic doesn’t have anything to do with just not talking. It’s more important to think before you speak, whether you’re interested in philosophical Stoicism or want to be stoic in the dictionary sense.
For example, if someone insults you, don’t just blurt out an angry insult back at them. Don’t engage them in an emotional fight, but consider if there’s any truth to their statement and reflect on how you could better yourself.
If you feel yourself getting upset and can’t focus on the situation’s facts, try to visualize pleasant surroundings, sing a song in your head, or say a stoic mantra to yourself, such as, “If it’s not in my control, it’s none of my concern.”
Know that there will also be times when it's also appropriate to not say anything. Walk away and get some distance from the situation before acting.
1-3. Don't worry about other people.
There’s nothing wrong with talking to people, but try not to ramble nervously and meaninglessly. You can’t control other people, so there’s no reason to be nervous. You also shouldn't feel like you have to conform to other people's standards, especially if it means compromising your own morals.
1-4. Stay humble and open to new knowledge.
Try to learn at every opportunity, but don’t be a know it all. You can’t learn if you already think you know everything. Wisdom is a core Stoic virtue, and part of cultivating wisdom is admitting that you have a lot to learn.
Educate yourself whenever you can by reading books, listening to podcasts, watching documentaries, and (obviously!) reading how-to guides.
You could listen to podcasts like TEDTalks, RadioLab, and StarTalk Radio. Browse Netflix and other services for documentaries on subjects like nature, technology, and art.
If you want to read more about Stoic philosophy, the contemporary philosopher William B. Irvine is a leading voice. His writing is accessible and doesn't use lots of unapproachable philosophical jargon.
1-5. Focus on being fair instead of being harsh.
A true stoic isn’t interested in emotional conflicts, retribution, revenge, or holding grudges. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a cold, distant, isolated grouch. If someone wrongs you, you can still have sympathy for them even if you don’t engage them in an emotional conflict.
For example, if someone you care about lashes out at you, don’t just give them the cold shoulder. You could say, “I don’t think it’s wise to just toss insults back and forth. Let’s take some time to cool down so we can deal with this situation rationally.”
"Don’t get mad, get even," is not at all stoic, so never try to get revenge. If you’re a manager in charge of reprimanding an employee, think of a fair way to hold them accountable instead of blindly punishing them.
2. Applying Stoic Principles to Life
2-1. Don’t waste your time on distractions.
Your time is precious, so try not to waste time on mindless distractions. It might be tough in today’s hectic world, but concentrate on what you’re doing when you’re performing a task or action. Even if you’re just sitting by yourself or talking with a friend, focus on the moment instead of checking your phone every 10 seconds.
In addition, try not to dwell on distractions like world news, current events, and catastrophes. It’s one thing to be informed about global events, but you don’t want to stress or panic about things you can’t control.
2-2. Enjoy the moment.
You don't have to be a stone-faced Scrooge to exhibit self control and focus on the here and now. You can still enjoy entertainment, life’s pleasures, and nature’s beauty.
For example, when handed a glass of fine wine, a stoic person might sip it and contemplate, “What if this is the last glass of wine I’ll ever have?” The point isn’t that they’re thinking about doom and gloom, but that they’re appreciating this singular moment of enjoyment.
2-3. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Look at life’s big challenges as opportunities to become a wiser, stronger person. When it comes to the little annoyances, from spilled milk to losing five dollars, just try to keep calm and carry on.
Your peace of mind is worth more than stressing over something of little value. As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “A bit of spilled oil, a little stolen wine - repeat to yourself, ‘For such a small price, I buy tranquility.’”
2-4. Surround yourself with people you respect.
Being stoic doesn’t mean you should isolate yourself from others. However, you should try to spend your precious time with people who want to be wiser, make better decisions, and make you want to be a better person.
You don’t want to be a snobby elitist, but think about your friends and acquaintances. Do they hold you accountable for your actions, encourage you to learn, and motivate you to improve yourself? Is there anyone who is petty, judgmental, opportunistic, or vicious?
2-5. Place morals over material gain and praise.
The strength of your character is far more important than wealth, awards, or acclaim. Make decisions based on your moral principles instead of doing something unethical that improves your status.
For example, don’t help someone because you want a reward or praise. Help them because it’s the right thing to do, and don’t brag about it or seek attention.
Suppose lying about a coworker would help you land a promotion. A true stoic wouldn't do something unethical just to get a raise.
3. Trying Stoic Meditations
3-1. Visualize your place in the universe.
The Hierocles’ Circle is a Stoic visualization exercise that helps you reflect on how you fit into the grand scheme of things. Start by visualizing yourself, then imagine your family and friends in a circle around you. Visualize your acquaintances, neighbors, and coworkers in the next circle, your city in the next and, eventually, all of humanity, all of Nature, and all of existence.
Take about 10 minutes to do the exercise. If it helps you focus, sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and take slow, deep breaths.
The point is to appreciate that things are interconnected. You’re part of a human community and, ultimately, linked to the entire universe.
3-2. Try imagining a great loss.
A premeditatio Malorum is a Stoic meditation in which you imagine losing something that is very important to you, like your job or a loved one. Picture a negative scenario in your head just for a few seconds or so. It sounds disturbing, but the point is to accept impermanence, prepare for obstacles, reflect on the good things in your life, and overcome your fears.
Negative visualization can help build psychological resilience in the face of uncontrollable obstacles. That means when something bad happens, you might have an easier time coping if you’ve already imagined it.
3-3. Read a daily quote and reflect on its meaning.
Each day, look up a short quote by a Stoic philosopher. Say it multiple times to yourself and contemplate its meaning. Even if it was written over two thousand years ago, think about how you could apply its meaning to your own life.
You could look online for quotes by thinkers like Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius. The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy's entry on Stoicism is a great place to look for philosophers, quotes, and further reading: http://www.iep.utm.edu/stoicism/.
You can also find quotes, reflections, and other resources on scholarly blogs, such as Stoicism Today: http://modernstoicism.com/.
3-4. Write a reflective journal entry at the end of the day.
At the end of the day, write about the challenges you faced and decisions you made. Contemplate a bad habit you made an effort to improve. Reflect on how you could have made a better choice or handled a situation differently.
For instance, you might write, "Today Sam was very short with me. I started to say something back, but caught myself before I lost my cool. I'm getting better about not allowing other people to get under my skin, but still have some work to do."
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing a Stoic Mindset\\n1-1. Accept what you cannot change.\\nSome things, such as world events and natural disasters, are beyond your control, and there’s no use beating yourself up about something you can’t change. Focus instead on things you can change, like your own choices and judgments.\\nThink of a tennis game. You can’t control things like the skill of your opponent, the referee’s calls, or how random wind gusts might affect the ball. On the other hand, you can decide how much to practice before the game, to show up well-rested, and not to stay up all night partying before the match.\\nThis doesn't mean you shouldn't care about outside things at all. If you can invest your time into external events that are important, feel free to do it. For example, you can stand up for minorities, yet it's unwise to be affected by thoughts of how painful their lives are and how you're suffering too. Even though you can show compassion for them, don't become pitiful.\\nThis will allow you some sort of neutrality in emotional situations, which in turn will help you listen to the other person and make better decisions.\\n1-2. Think before you speak and emotionally react.\\nWork on having more self-control and self-awareness. Being stoic doesn’t have anything to do with just not talking. It’s more important to think before you speak, whether you’re interested in philosophical Stoicism or want to be stoic in the dictionary sense.\\nFor example, if someone insults you, don’t just blurt out an angry insult back at them. Don’t engage them in an emotional fight, but consider if there’s any truth to their statement and reflect on how you could better yourself.\\nIf you feel yourself getting upset and can’t focus on the situation’s facts, try to visualize pleasant surroundings, sing a song in your head, or say a stoic mantra to yourself, such as, “If it’s not in my control, it’s none of my concern.”\\nKnow that there will also be times when it's also appropriate to not say anything. Walk away and get some distance from the situation before acting.\\n1-3. Don't worry about other people.\\nThere’s nothing wrong with talking to people, but try not to ramble nervously and meaninglessly. You can’t control other people, so there’s no reason to be nervous. You also shouldn't feel like you have to conform to other people's standards, especially if it means compromising your own morals.\\n1-4. Stay humble and open to new knowledge.\\nTry to learn at every opportunity, but don’t be a know it all. You can’t learn if you already think you know everything. Wisdom is a core Stoic virtue, and part of cultivating wisdom is admitting that you have a lot to learn.\\nEducate yourself whenever you can by reading books, listening to podcasts, watching documentaries, and (obviously!) reading how-to guides.\\nYou could listen to podcasts like TEDTalks, RadioLab, and StarTalk Radio. Browse Netflix and other services for documentaries on subjects like nature, technology, and art.\\nIf you want to read more about Stoic philosophy, the contemporary philosopher William B. Irvine is a leading voice. His writing is accessible and doesn't use lots of unapproachable philosophical jargon.\\n1-5. Focus on being fair instead of being harsh.\\nA true stoic isn’t interested in emotional conflicts, retribution, revenge, or holding grudges. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a cold, distant, isolated grouch. If someone wrongs you, you can still have sympathy for them even if you don’t engage them in an emotional conflict.\\nFor example, if someone you care about lashes out at you, don’t just give them the cold shoulder. You could say, “I don’t think it’s wise to just toss insults back and forth. Let’s take some time to cool down so we can deal with this situation rationally.”\\n\\\"Don’t get mad, get even,\\\" is not at all stoic, so never try to get revenge. If you’re a manager in charge of reprimanding an employee, think of a fair way to hold them accountable instead of blindly punishing them.\\n2. Applying Stoic Principles to Life\\n2-1. Don’t waste your time on distractions.\\nYour time is precious, so try not to waste time on mindless distractions. It might be tough in today’s hectic world, but concentrate on what you’re doing when you’re performing a task or action. Even if you’re just sitting by yourself or talking with a friend, focus on the moment instead of checking your phone every 10 seconds.\\nIn addition, try not to dwell on distractions like world news, current events, and catastrophes. It’s one thing to be informed about global events, but you don’t want to stress or panic about things you can’t control.\\n2-2. Enjoy the moment.\\nYou don't have to be a stone-faced Scrooge to exhibit self control and focus on the here and now. You can still enjoy entertainment, life’s pleasures, and nature’s beauty.\\nFor example, when handed a glass of fine wine, a stoic person might sip it and contemplate, “What if this is the last glass of wine I’ll ever have?” The point isn’t that they’re thinking about doom and gloom, but that they’re appreciating this singular moment of enjoyment.\\n2-3. Don’t sweat the small stuff.\\nLook at life’s big challenges as opportunities to become a wiser, stronger person. When it comes to the little annoyances, from spilled milk to losing five dollars, just try to keep calm and carry on.\\nYour peace of mind is worth more than stressing over something of little value. As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “A bit of spilled oil, a little stolen wine - repeat to yourself, ‘For such a small price, I buy tranquility.’”\\n2-4. Surround yourself with people you respect.\\nBeing stoic doesn’t mean you should isolate yourself from others. However, you should try to spend your precious time with people who want to be wiser, make better decisions, and make you want to be a better person.\\nYou don’t want to be a snobby elitist, but think about your friends and acquaintances. Do they hold you accountable for your actions, encourage you to learn, and motivate you to improve yourself? Is there anyone who is petty, judgmental, opportunistic, or vicious?\\n2-5. Place morals over material gain and praise.\\nThe strength of your character is far more important than wealth, awards, or acclaim. Make decisions based on your moral principles instead of doing something unethical that improves your status.\\nFor example, don’t help someone because you want a reward or praise. Help them because it’s the right thing to do, and don’t brag about it or seek attention.\\nSuppose lying about a coworker would help you land a promotion. A true stoic wouldn't do something unethical just to get a raise.\\n3. Trying Stoic Meditations\\n3-1. Visualize your place in the universe.\\nThe Hierocles’ Circle is a Stoic visualization exercise that helps you reflect on how you fit into the grand scheme of things. Start by visualizing yourself, then imagine your family and friends in a circle around you. Visualize your acquaintances, neighbors, and coworkers in the next circle, your city in the next and, eventually, all of humanity, all of Nature, and all of existence.\\nTake about 10 minutes to do the exercise. If it helps you focus, sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and take slow, deep breaths.\\nThe point is to appreciate that things are interconnected. You’re part of a human community and, ultimately, linked to the entire universe.\\n3-2. Try imagining a great loss.\\nA premeditatio Malorum is a Stoic meditation in which you imagine losing something that is very important to you, like your job or a loved one. Picture a negative scenario in your head just for a few seconds or so. It sounds disturbing, but the point is to accept impermanence, prepare for obstacles, reflect on the good things in your life, and overcome your fears.\\nNegative visualization can help build psychological resilience in the face of uncontrollable obstacles. That means when something bad happens, you might have an easier time coping if you’ve already imagined it.\\n3-3. Read a daily quote and reflect on its meaning.\\nEach day, look up a short quote by a Stoic philosopher. Say it multiple times to yourself and contemplate its meaning. Even if it was written over two thousand years ago, think about how you could apply its meaning to your own life.\\nYou could look online for quotes by thinkers like Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius. The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy's entry on Stoicism is a great place to look for philosophers, quotes, and further reading: http://www.iep.utm.edu/stoicism/.\\nYou can also find quotes, reflections, and other resources on scholarly blogs, such as Stoicism Today: http://modernstoicism.com/.\\n3-4. Write a reflective journal entry at the end of the day.\\nAt the end of the day, write about the challenges you faced and decisions you made. Contemplate a bad habit you made an effort to improve. Reflect on how you could have made a better choice or handled a situation differently.\\nFor instance, you might write, \\\"Today Sam was very short with me. I started to say something back, but caught myself before I lost my cool. I'm getting better about not allowing other people to get under my skin, but still have some work to do.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re interested in Stoic philosophy or want to be stoic as it’s defined in the dictionary, try to work on self-control and self-awareness. Remember, you can control your actions and judgments, but most things are out of your hands and not worth your stress. Being stoic doesn’t mean you should be cold and distant, so think before you speak instead of not speaking at all. In addition to striving to be stoic in daily life, you can delve deeper into Stoic philosophy by trying daily meditations and reflecting on philosophical quotes.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing a Stoic Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept what you cannot change.\", \"描述\": \"Some things, such as world events and natural disasters, are beyond your control, and there’s no use beating yourself up about something you can’t change. Focus instead on things you can change, like your own choices and judgments.\\nThink of a tennis game. You can’t control things like the skill of your opponent, the referee’s calls, or how random wind gusts might affect the ball. On the other hand, you can decide how much to practice before the game, to show up well-rested, and not to stay up all night partying before the match.\\nThis doesn't mean you shouldn't care about outside things at all. If you can invest your time into external events that are important, feel free to do it. For example, you can stand up for minorities, yet it's unwise to be affected by thoughts of how painful their lives are and how you're suffering too. Even though you can show compassion for them, don't become pitiful.\\nThis will allow you some sort of neutrality in emotional situations, which in turn will help you listen to the other person and make better decisions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak and emotionally react.\", \"描述\": \"Work on having more self-control and self-awareness. Being stoic doesn’t have anything to do with just not talking. It’s more important to think before you speak, whether you’re interested in philosophical Stoicism or want to be stoic in the dictionary sense.\\nFor example, if someone insults you, don’t just blurt out an angry insult back at them. Don’t engage them in an emotional fight, but consider if there’s any truth to their statement and reflect on how you could better yourself.\\nIf you feel yourself getting upset and can’t focus on the situation’s facts, try to visualize pleasant surroundings, sing a song in your head, or say a stoic mantra to yourself, such as, “If it’s not in my control, it’s none of my concern.”\\nKnow that there will also be times when it's also appropriate to not say anything. Walk away and get some distance from the situation before acting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't worry about other people.\", \"描述\": \"There’s nothing wrong with talking to people, but try not to ramble nervously and meaninglessly. You can’t control other people, so there’s no reason to be nervous. You also shouldn't feel like you have to conform to other people's standards, especially if it means compromising your own morals.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay humble and open to new knowledge.\", \"描述\": \"Try to learn at every opportunity, but don’t be a know it all. You can’t learn if you already think you know everything. Wisdom is a core Stoic virtue, and part of cultivating wisdom is admitting that you have a lot to learn.\\nEducate yourself whenever you can by reading books, listening to podcasts, watching documentaries, and (obviously!) reading how-to guides.\\nYou could listen to podcasts like TEDTalks, RadioLab, and StarTalk Radio. Browse Netflix and other services for documentaries on subjects like nature, technology, and art.\\nIf you want to read more about Stoic philosophy, the contemporary philosopher William B. Irvine is a leading voice. His writing is accessible and doesn't use lots of unapproachable philosophical jargon.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Focus on being fair instead of being harsh.\", \"描述\": \"A true stoic isn’t interested in emotional conflicts, retribution, revenge, or holding grudges. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a cold, distant, isolated grouch. If someone wrongs you, you can still have sympathy for them even if you don’t engage them in an emotional conflict.\\nFor example, if someone you care about lashes out at you, don’t just give them the cold shoulder. You could say, “I don’t think it’s wise to just toss insults back and forth. Let’s take some time to cool down so we can deal with this situation rationally.”\\n\\\"Don’t get mad, get even,\\\" is not at all stoic, so never try to get revenge. If you’re a manager in charge of reprimanding an employee, think of a fair way to hold them accountable instead of blindly punishing them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Applying Stoic Principles to Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t waste your time on distractions.\", \"描述\": \"Your time is precious, so try not to waste time on mindless distractions. It might be tough in today’s hectic world, but concentrate on what you’re doing when you’re performing a task or action. Even if you’re just sitting by yourself or talking with a friend, focus on the moment instead of checking your phone every 10 seconds.\\nIn addition, try not to dwell on distractions like world news, current events, and catastrophes. It’s one thing to be informed about global events, but you don’t want to stress or panic about things you can’t control.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the moment.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to be a stone-faced Scrooge to exhibit self control and focus on the here and now. You can still enjoy entertainment, life’s pleasures, and nature’s beauty.\\nFor example, when handed a glass of fine wine, a stoic person might sip it and contemplate, “What if this is the last glass of wine I’ll ever have?” The point isn’t that they’re thinking about doom and gloom, but that they’re appreciating this singular moment of enjoyment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t sweat the small stuff.\", \"描述\": \"Look at life’s big challenges as opportunities to become a wiser, stronger person. When it comes to the little annoyances, from spilled milk to losing five dollars, just try to keep calm and carry on.\\nYour peace of mind is worth more than stressing over something of little value. As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “A bit of spilled oil, a little stolen wine - repeat to yourself, ‘For such a small price, I buy tranquility.’”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with people you respect.\", \"描述\": \"Being stoic doesn’t mean you should isolate yourself from others. However, you should try to spend your precious time with people who want to be wiser, make better decisions, and make you want to be a better person.\\nYou don’t want to be a snobby elitist, but think about your friends and acquaintances. Do they hold you accountable for your actions, encourage you to learn, and motivate you to improve yourself? Is there anyone who is petty, judgmental, opportunistic, or vicious?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Place morals over material gain and praise.\", \"描述\": \"The strength of your character is far more important than wealth, awards, or acclaim. Make decisions based on your moral principles instead of doing something unethical that improves your status.\\nFor example, don’t help someone because you want a reward or praise. Help them because it’s the right thing to do, and don’t brag about it or seek attention.\\nSuppose lying about a coworker would help you land a promotion. A true stoic wouldn't do something unethical just to get a raise.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Trying Stoic Meditations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Visualize your place in the universe.\", \"描述\": \"The Hierocles’ Circle is a Stoic visualization exercise that helps you reflect on how you fit into the grand scheme of things. Start by visualizing yourself, then imagine your family and friends in a circle around you. Visualize your acquaintances, neighbors, and coworkers in the next circle, your city in the next and, eventually, all of humanity, all of Nature, and all of existence.\\nTake about 10 minutes to do the exercise. If it helps you focus, sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and take slow, deep breaths.\\nThe point is to appreciate that things are interconnected. You’re part of a human community and, ultimately, linked to the entire universe.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try imagining a great loss.\", \"描述\": \"A premeditatio Malorum is a Stoic meditation in which you imagine losing something that is very important to you, like your job or a loved one. Picture a negative scenario in your head just for a few seconds or so. It sounds disturbing, but the point is to accept impermanence, prepare for obstacles, reflect on the good things in your life, and overcome your fears.\\nNegative visualization can help build psychological resilience in the face of uncontrollable obstacles. That means when something bad happens, you might have an easier time coping if you’ve already imagined it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read a daily quote and reflect on its meaning.\", \"描述\": \"Each day, look up a short quote by a Stoic philosopher. Say it multiple times to yourself and contemplate its meaning. Even if it was written over two thousand years ago, think about how you could apply its meaning to your own life.\\nYou could look online for quotes by thinkers like Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius. The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy's entry on Stoicism is a great place to look for philosophers, quotes, and further reading: http://www.iep.utm.edu/stoicism/.\\nYou can also find quotes, reflections, and other resources on scholarly blogs, such as Stoicism Today: http://modernstoicism.com/.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write a reflective journal entry at the end of the day.\", \"描述\": \"At the end of the day, write about the challenges you faced and decisions you made. Contemplate a bad habit you made an effort to improve. Reflect on how you could have made a better choice or handled a situation differently.\\nFor instance, you might write, \\\"Today Sam was very short with me. I started to say something back, but caught myself before I lost my cool. I'm getting better about not allowing other people to get under my skin, but still have some work to do.\\\"\"}]}]}}",
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4,185 | How to Be Street Smart | 1. Staying Alert
1-1. Avoid wearing headphones while you are out.
While it may be enjoyable to listen to music while you walk around, it is best to stay as alert as possible. Not being able to hear your surroundings will make you vulnerable to accidents or attacks. If you absolutely have to listen to music or other audio while you're out, use only one earphone or play it at a very low volume.
1-2. Do not look at your phone while you are walking.
Your phone can be incredibly distracting, between social media, games, text messages, phone calls, and viral videos. Put your phone away while you are on the move so that you can keep your head up and concentrate on your surroundings. If you do need to check your phone, stop and look at it quickly to avoid putting yourself at risk for an accident, pickpocketing, or other incident.
1-3. Learn to recognize potential dangers.
Staying alert means noticing things that may cause you harm and avoiding them accordingly. As you travel, look out for potential dangers and keep track of them vigilantly. In particular, steer clear of:
Parked vans
Groups or individuals loitering
Anyone who seems to be disguising their face
1-4. Trust your instincts.
If you feel uneasy or uncomfortable in a situation, remove yourself immediately. Regardless of whether or not you have reason to suspect trouble, always trust your gut. If someone's behavior has you on alert, excuse yourself and leave promptly so they do not have a chance to talk you out of it.
2. Staying Safe
2-1. Always carry your phone with you.
Being able to communicate or call for help is an important part of keeping yourself safe. If an expensive smartphone and cellular contract is too much for your budget, opt for a basic "burner" phone that you can carry with you in case of emergencies. If you can, program a list of emergency numbers into your phone for easy access.
2-2. Travel with friends when possible.
There is safety in numbers, so avoid travelling alone when you can. Ask family members or friends to join you for walks, outings, or to run errands. Having company will likely make the commute more enjoyable, and make you a less likely target for negative attention.
2-3. Avoid dark and isolated places.
It is always best to stick to well-lit, populated streets when you are out. Do not take short cuts through dark alleys or wooded areas, even if it will make your trip much faster. Avoid hanging out in places that will be abandoned after a certain time of day, like schoolyards, parks, and parking garages.
If you do have to go to dark and isolated places, go with someone else or speak to someone over the phone while you are there.
2-4. Never go anywhere with a stranger.
Whether you are a child or an adult, it is important to be careful when interacting with strangers. Aim to stay at least an arm's length away from someone you do not know and avoid approaching a stranger's car if they call you over. Under no circumstances should you follow a stranger, regardless if they ask for help or claim to know you.
2-5. Know the location of closeby "safe spots."
Take note of nearby police stations, fire stations, or hospitals in case of an emergency. It is also wise to note what businesses in the area are open late, on the off chance that you find yourself in need of help at night. Keep track of what friends live nearby, so that you can go to their homes if you need help.
Run to these places if you feel threatened or unsafe.
If you are in imminent danger and there are no "safe spots" in sight, call the police for help.
2-6. Run and shout if you feel threatened.
Never hesitate to make noise and remove yourself from a situation that you feel unsafe in. If you feel threatened, run away as fast as you can towards a police station, hospital, or nearby business for help. Yell as loudly as you can to get the attention of people nearby, which will generally dissuade a potential assailant from pursuing you.
2-7. Take a self-defense class.
Self-defense classes can be a great workout, but they also teach important skills. Knowing how to defend yourself in dangerous situations will boost your confidence and make you more street savvy. Call your local community center or look online for self-defense classes being taught in your area.
3. Knowing Your Surroundings
3-1. Stick to your regular routes whenever possible.
It is best to travel down streets that you know well and on buses or trains that you are familiar with. Always opt for the route you know to be safe instead of venturing into the unknown. Avoid taking new paths to work, school, or home if you can.
3-2. Chart your trips online.
Use Google maps or the GPS on your phone to plot out your journey to a new place before going there. Note the directions for driving, walking, or public transport. Take a screenshot of the directions so that you can refer to them easily later.
3-3. Learn everything you can about the public transportation system.
Knowing how to get yourself around a city is an important part of being street smart. A good knowledge of bus, subway, and train routes will allow you to get places quickly. It will also help you find an out if you find yourself in a location or situation that you want to escape.
3-4. Do not deviate from your destination.
As a general rule, it is always best to stick to your original destination when commuting or travelling. This allows your friends and loved ones to know where you are or where you will be. Stick to your original destination instead of wandering or changing your plans last minute, which can lead to unexpected trouble.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Staying Alert\\n1-1. Avoid wearing headphones while you are out.\\nWhile it may be enjoyable to listen to music while you walk around, it is best to stay as alert as possible. Not being able to hear your surroundings will make you vulnerable to accidents or attacks. If you absolutely have to listen to music or other audio while you're out, use only one earphone or play it at a very low volume.\\n1-2. Do not look at your phone while you are walking.\\nYour phone can be incredibly distracting, between social media, games, text messages, phone calls, and viral videos. Put your phone away while you are on the move so that you can keep your head up and concentrate on your surroundings. If you do need to check your phone, stop and look at it quickly to avoid putting yourself at risk for an accident, pickpocketing, or other incident.\\n1-3. Learn to recognize potential dangers.\\nStaying alert means noticing things that may cause you harm and avoiding them accordingly. As you travel, look out for potential dangers and keep track of them vigilantly. In particular, steer clear of:\\nParked vans\\nGroups or individuals loitering\\nAnyone who seems to be disguising their face\\n1-4. Trust your instincts.\\nIf you feel uneasy or uncomfortable in a situation, remove yourself immediately. Regardless of whether or not you have reason to suspect trouble, always trust your gut. If someone's behavior has you on alert, excuse yourself and leave promptly so they do not have a chance to talk you out of it.\\n2. Staying Safe\\n2-1. Always carry your phone with you.\\nBeing able to communicate or call for help is an important part of keeping yourself safe. If an expensive smartphone and cellular contract is too much for your budget, opt for a basic \\\"burner\\\" phone that you can carry with you in case of emergencies. If you can, program a list of emergency numbers into your phone for easy access.\\n2-2. Travel with friends when possible.\\nThere is safety in numbers, so avoid travelling alone when you can. Ask family members or friends to join you for walks, outings, or to run errands. Having company will likely make the commute more enjoyable, and make you a less likely target for negative attention.\\n2-3. Avoid dark and isolated places.\\nIt is always best to stick to well-lit, populated streets when you are out. Do not take short cuts through dark alleys or wooded areas, even if it will make your trip much faster. Avoid hanging out in places that will be abandoned after a certain time of day, like schoolyards, parks, and parking garages.\\nIf you do have to go to dark and isolated places, go with someone else or speak to someone over the phone while you are there.\\n2-4. Never go anywhere with a stranger.\\nWhether you are a child or an adult, it is important to be careful when interacting with strangers. Aim to stay at least an arm's length away from someone you do not know and avoid approaching a stranger's car if they call you over. Under no circumstances should you follow a stranger, regardless if they ask for help or claim to know you.\\n2-5. Know the location of closeby \\\"safe spots.\\\"\\nTake note of nearby police stations, fire stations, or hospitals in case of an emergency. It is also wise to note what businesses in the area are open late, on the off chance that you find yourself in need of help at night. Keep track of what friends live nearby, so that you can go to their homes if you need help.\\nRun to these places if you feel threatened or unsafe.\\nIf you are in imminent danger and there are no \\\"safe spots\\\" in sight, call the police for help.\\n2-6. Run and shout if you feel threatened.\\nNever hesitate to make noise and remove yourself from a situation that you feel unsafe in. If you feel threatened, run away as fast as you can towards a police station, hospital, or nearby business for help. Yell as loudly as you can to get the attention of people nearby, which will generally dissuade a potential assailant from pursuing you.\\n2-7. Take a self-defense class.\\nSelf-defense classes can be a great workout, but they also teach important skills. Knowing how to defend yourself in dangerous situations will boost your confidence and make you more street savvy. Call your local community center or look online for self-defense classes being taught in your area.\\n3. Knowing Your Surroundings\\n3-1. Stick to your regular routes whenever possible.\\nIt is best to travel down streets that you know well and on buses or trains that you are familiar with. Always opt for the route you know to be safe instead of venturing into the unknown. Avoid taking new paths to work, school, or home if you can.\\n3-2. Chart your trips online.\\nUse Google maps or the GPS on your phone to plot out your journey to a new place before going there. Note the directions for driving, walking, or public transport. Take a screenshot of the directions so that you can refer to them easily later.\\n3-3. Learn everything you can about the public transportation system.\\nKnowing how to get yourself around a city is an important part of being street smart. A good knowledge of bus, subway, and train routes will allow you to get places quickly. It will also help you find an out if you find yourself in a location or situation that you want to escape.\\n3-4. Do not deviate from your destination.\\nAs a general rule, it is always best to stick to your original destination when commuting or travelling. This allows your friends and loved ones to know where you are or where you will be. Stick to your original destination instead of wandering or changing your plans last minute, which can lead to unexpected trouble.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being street smart is an important skill to have and a good way to take care of yourself. Research neighborhoods, transport systems, and emergency services in whatever area you find yourself in. Avoid dangerous spots and situations, and stay as alert as possible at all times. Always trust your instincts and err on the side of caution.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Staying Alert\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid wearing headphones while you are out.\", \"描述\": \"While it may be enjoyable to listen to music while you walk around, it is best to stay as alert as possible. Not being able to hear your surroundings will make you vulnerable to accidents or attacks. If you absolutely have to listen to music or other audio while you're out, use only one earphone or play it at a very low volume.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not look at your phone while you are walking.\", \"描述\": \"Your phone can be incredibly distracting, between social media, games, text messages, phone calls, and viral videos. Put your phone away while you are on the move so that you can keep your head up and concentrate on your surroundings. If you do need to check your phone, stop and look at it quickly to avoid putting yourself at risk for an accident, pickpocketing, or other incident.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to recognize potential dangers.\", \"描述\": \"Staying alert means noticing things that may cause you harm and avoiding them accordingly. As you travel, look out for potential dangers and keep track of them vigilantly. In particular, steer clear of:\\nParked vans\\nGroups or individuals loitering\\nAnyone who seems to be disguising their face\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Trust your instincts.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel uneasy or uncomfortable in a situation, remove yourself immediately. Regardless of whether or not you have reason to suspect trouble, always trust your gut. If someone's behavior has you on alert, excuse yourself and leave promptly so they do not have a chance to talk you out of it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Safe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Always carry your phone with you.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to communicate or call for help is an important part of keeping yourself safe. If an expensive smartphone and cellular contract is too much for your budget, opt for a basic \\\"burner\\\" phone that you can carry with you in case of emergencies. If you can, program a list of emergency numbers into your phone for easy access.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Travel with friends when possible.\", \"描述\": \"There is safety in numbers, so avoid travelling alone when you can. Ask family members or friends to join you for walks, outings, or to run errands. Having company will likely make the commute more enjoyable, and make you a less likely target for negative attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid dark and isolated places.\", \"描述\": \"It is always best to stick to well-lit, populated streets when you are out. Do not take short cuts through dark alleys or wooded areas, even if it will make your trip much faster. Avoid hanging out in places that will be abandoned after a certain time of day, like schoolyards, parks, and parking garages.\\nIf you do have to go to dark and isolated places, go with someone else or speak to someone over the phone while you are there.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Never go anywhere with a stranger.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you are a child or an adult, it is important to be careful when interacting with strangers. Aim to stay at least an arm's length away from someone you do not know and avoid approaching a stranger's car if they call you over. Under no circumstances should you follow a stranger, regardless if they ask for help or claim to know you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know the location of closeby \\\"safe spots.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Take note of nearby police stations, fire stations, or hospitals in case of an emergency. It is also wise to note what businesses in the area are open late, on the off chance that you find yourself in need of help at night. Keep track of what friends live nearby, so that you can go to their homes if you need help.\\nRun to these places if you feel threatened or unsafe.\\nIf you are in imminent danger and there are no \\\"safe spots\\\" in sight, call the police for help.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Run and shout if you feel threatened.\", \"描述\": \"Never hesitate to make noise and remove yourself from a situation that you feel unsafe in. If you feel threatened, run away as fast as you can towards a police station, hospital, or nearby business for help. Yell as loudly as you can to get the attention of people nearby, which will generally dissuade a potential assailant from pursuing you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take a self-defense class.\", \"描述\": \"Self-defense classes can be a great workout, but they also teach important skills. Knowing how to defend yourself in dangerous situations will boost your confidence and make you more street savvy. Call your local community center or look online for self-defense classes being taught in your area.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Knowing Your Surroundings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick to your regular routes whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"It is best to travel down streets that you know well and on buses or trains that you are familiar with. Always opt for the route you know to be safe instead of venturing into the unknown. Avoid taking new paths to work, school, or home if you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Chart your trips online.\", \"描述\": \"Use Google maps or the GPS on your phone to plot out your journey to a new place before going there. Note the directions for driving, walking, or public transport. Take a screenshot of the directions so that you can refer to them easily later.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn everything you can about the public transportation system.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing how to get yourself around a city is an important part of being street smart. A good knowledge of bus, subway, and train routes will allow you to get places quickly. It will also help you find an out if you find yourself in a location or situation that you want to escape.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do not deviate from your destination.\", \"描述\": \"As a general rule, it is always best to stick to your original destination when commuting or travelling. This allows your friends and loved ones to know where you are or where you will be. Stick to your original destination instead of wandering or changing your plans last minute, which can lead to unexpected trouble.\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,186 | How to Be Strong | 1. Being Mentally Strong
1-1. Remember that you are in control.
Strength implies having power and being able to change your own life, while weakness implies being powerless and helpless. Whatever your circumstances, there are things you can control, and things you can't. The key is to focus on the things you can control. Make a list of what is troubling you, then make a list of what you can do to make each situation better. Accept the items on the first list (they are what they are) and focus your energy on the second list.
In studies of people with a high Adversity Quotient (AQ), it's observed that resilient people not only always find some aspect of a situation that they can control, but also feel responsible for taking action to fix the situation, even if their hardship was caused by someone else. Those with a low AQ, however, ignore opportunities to take action and deflect accountability, presuming that because they didn't create the situation, they should not be the ones to fix it.
1-2. Choose your attitude.
Sometimes, we encounter situations in which we really are helpless to enact change. Even though these times are trying, you can still be in control because no matter what, you can always control your attitude towards life. As Victor Frankl put it: "We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Regardless of what is happening, be positive.
If somebody is making your life miserable, don't let them crush your spirit. Continue to be proud, have hope, and remember that attitude is something that no one can take away from you. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," as Eleanor Roosevelt said.
Try not to let a crisis or hardship in one area of your life spill over into other areas of your life. If you're facing great difficulty with work, for instance, don't behave irritably towards your significant other when they've done nothing but try to help. Eliminate the side effects of your hardship by controlling your own attitude. Resilient people do not turn every setback into a catastrophe, nor do they let negative events follow a domino effect through their lives.
If it helps, remember and recite the Serenity prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
1-3. Rediscover your zest for life.
Emotionally strong people view each and every day as a gift. They try to structure them so that the gift is taken advantage of fully. Remember when you were a child and could get excited by the simplest wonders of life — playing with leaves in the fall, drawing a make-believe animal, eating a s'more? Find that inner child. Be that inner child. Your ability to be mentally and emotionally strong depends on it.
1-4. Have faith in yourself.
You've made it this far. You can make it through just one more day. And if you take it just one day at a time, or even one moment at a time, you can survive whatever you're going through. It won't be easy, and you're not invincible, so take baby steps. When you feel like you're about to fall apart, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Remember these things in your quest:
Don't listen to the naysayers. There will always be people who doubt you, for whatever reason. Your job is to not listen to them and, ultimately, to prove them wrong. Don't let them take hope away from you just because they've lost theirs. The world is practically begging you to transform it. What are you waiting for?
Think about the times that you've succeeded. Use them as motivation in your journey. Whether it's that classroom assignment you aced, that person you talked to, or the birth of your child, let it feed your desire to be a stronger, more adjusted person. Like begets like!
Try, try, and try again. There will come a time when you doubt yourself because you tried and failed. But failure is part of success, and everyone fails sometimes. Look up famous people who have failed multiple times before accomplishing their goals to help you get inspired.
1-5. Pick your battles wisely.
Does every little thing that exasperates you — a colleague asking a question, a driver cutting you off — need to? Ask yourself why and whether these things matter. Try whittling your life down to a few core values that mean the world to you, and don't worry about anything else. As Sylvia Robinson once said, "Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong — sometimes it's letting go."
1-6. Reach out to the people who mean the most to you.
Spend time with friends and family, along with others who are supportive and positive. If no one is available, make new friends. And if there are no friends to be found, help others who are in greater need than you are. Sometimes when we feel like we can't better our own situations, we can find strength in bettering someone else's, and we can also gain perspective on our own lives.
There's no doubting it — humans are very social animals. Studies and science both point to social wellbeing as an important factor in emotional and physical health. If you feel like you're struggling socially, it's worth trying to get some help. Here's a start:
Have a great conversation with someone
Get over mistakes — don't let them define you!
Recover after a breakup
Overcome shyness
Act like an extrovert
1-7. Strike a balance between work and play, rest and activity.
Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? It's sorely overlooked precisely because it's deceptively hard. Either we work too hard and are constantly moving around, or we slack off more than we should and lounge like hippos, idle, on the banks of opportunity. Getting a good balance between work and play, rest and activity, will allow you to appreciate each mode for what it's worth. The grass won't seem greener on the other side because you won't be boxed in just one pasture.
1-8. Be thankful for what you have
Life is tough, but if you look closely enough, you'll find an infinite number of things to be grateful for in spite of the struggles of existence. Even if the things and people that made you happy in the past are gone, there's so much more to appreciate still. The joy you derive from the world around you is the fuel that'll push you through the hardest of times, so pay attention to what you have and enjoy it for what it's worth. Sure, you might not have that new shirt, or whatever it is you want, but at least you have this computer, with the Internet, equipped with the ability to read. At least you have this article to help you out. Some people can't read, have no computer, and are homeless. They wish they had what you did.
Try downloading a gratitude app for your smartphone. This will remind you to write about what you are grateful for every day and help you to develop an attitude of gratitude.
1-9. Don't take things so seriously
Charlie Chaplin knew something about comedy. He famously said: "Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot." It's all too easy to get wrapped up in our own small tragedies that cause us to act and react on a micro level. But take a step back and look at life more philosophically, more mischievously, more romantically. The wonder, the limitless possibilities, the absurdity of it all — it's enough to make you laugh at how strangely lucky you are.
Because, let's face it, life is just more fun when it isn't taken too seriously. And while making fun and being happy certainly isn't all life has to offer, it's an important part, right?
1-10. Remember that nothing is permanent.
If you’re in the middle of a period of grief or pain that you can’t control, stand aside and let the moment happen. If you are going through a prolonged period of difficulty, remind yourself that this, too, shall pass. Accept the good and the bad moments in your life for what they are and don’t get too attached to either state. Learn to let go when things get bad, and appreciate life when it is good. This will help to keep you grounded when life gets difficult.
2. Being Physically Strong
2-1. Eat healthy
One of the biggest hurdles we face in growing physically stronger is putting nutritious, energizing food in our bodies day in and day out. We've all been there: The fast food drive-through lane beckons to us, even though we told ourselves we'd cook broccoli and fish tonight. What if we told ourselves that our lives truly depended on it? Would we change our eating habits then?
Focus primarily on consuming vegetables and fruits. Supplement this part of your diet with lean proteins, such as those found in poultry, fish, dairy, nuts, and beans.
Know the difference between complex carbs and simple carbs and prioritize complex carbs, which tend to be absorbed slower and offer more fiber.
Prioritize healthy fats over unhealthy ones. Unsaturated fats, such as olive oil, and omega 3 fatty acids, found in salmon and flax seeds, are actually good for you in moderation. Avoid unhealthy fats such as saturated and trans fats.
Mix it up. Add variety to your diet. You want to get strong, but take pleasure in eating. Food isn't just about bulking up. Enjoying it for what it is will make you a more well-rounded individual and help you stay fitter.
2-2. Exercise
Getting strong isn't just about pumping iron. It's about working with your entire body to burn fat, build muscle, and develop endurance. There are tons and tons of exercises you can try to get a full body workout, but the important thing to remember here is consistency. Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day, even if those 30 minutes are walking the dog for 20 and "stretching" for 10!
2-3. Start working with weights
Building muscle will help you stay strong, but getting there is the tough part. Equal parts grueling and boring (just kidding!), weight-lifting systematically breaks down and then repairs muscle in order to make it even stronger. For more complete strength, focus on your entire body. You don't want to look like the gym-rat who only works on biceps and never makes it for leg day.
Build muscle in your chest area
Build muscle in your legs and thighs
Build muscle in your arms and shoulders
Build muscle in your core
2-4. Get enough sleep
In order to rebuild muscle, reduce stress, and stay balanced emotionally, the human body needs anywhere from 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night for most adults. You're not going to go breaking strength records on 4 hours of sleep. And if you don't sleep well or long enough one night, be prepared to try to sleep even more the next night, as you've built up a sleep deficit.
2-5. Steer clear of so-called vices like cigarettes, excessive alcohol, and other drugs.
Everyone understands that smoking cigarettes, abusing drugs, and drinking excessively is a recipe for poor health. And yet we either seem to justify it to ourselves in some way, or just conveniently forget it when the time comes to control the urge. To help you rationally control any urges, here are some statistics that put nicotine and alcohol into context:
Almost 500,000 smokers die in the U.S. each year alone. And smokers die, on average, between 13 and 14 years younger than non-smoking counterparts. That's almost a quarter of your life you're needlessly throwing away.
49% of murders, 52% of rapes, 21% of suicides, 60% of child abuse, and over 50% of fatal road accidents occur at least in part because of alcohol.
3. Being Spiritually Strong
3-1. Connect to a force that is greater than you.
Whether that force is one of the religions' or merely the force of the universe, know that spirituality is all and only about you and your beliefs. Know that you don't have to believe in God to believe in a greater spiritual reality. Explore your beliefs, as well as those of others, and settle into a framework which you believe.
3-2. Ask questions and never stop learning.
Becoming spiritually "strong" and spiritually "active" aren't necessarily the same thing. The spiritually active person might adopt a belief or assume a faith and leave it at that, never questioning the faith's usefulness or tenets. The spiritually strong person asks questions about sacred texts, scrutinizes behavior, and is constantly looking for answers both inside and outside the framework of their faith.
A spiritually strong Christian, for example, has no problem talking to an atheist and debating the finer points of Biblical orthodoxy. They might view the experience as an opportunity to learn, a refreshing departure from the usual. Their faith is usually strengthened by such an encounter, and if it isn't, that doubt is calmly and judiciously explored.
3-3. Avoid judging other people for their spiritual beliefs.
Imagine if you neighbor or a complete stranger came up to you and told you that your faith was completely misguided and forced you to believe in his spiritual order — all without your consent. How would you feel? Not very good, most likely. Well, that's how other people feel when proselytized or otherwise compelled to believe. Balance your own faith with your duty to your common man in as unobtrusive a way as possible.
3-4. Identify blessings in your life.
Most religions and spiritual orders believe in the idea of a blessing, which is help or approval from God or the universe. What's a blessing in your life?
Try this helpful exercise for one week to hone your perception of just how many blessings you have. For seven successive days, identify a blessing that was given to you from the following:
Family member
Neighbor
Friend
Work colleague
Stranger
Child
Enemy
3-5. Help spread love from wherever you are.
Spiritual strength ultimately is a form of faith that the universe is a mystery but that love between humans is self-evident. Be an agent of change and a force for good by spreading love. Whether it's a simple gesture of providing food to the homeless, smiling at a stranger, or sacrificing your well-being for the well-being of someone else, spreading love gets us all a little closer to understanding the mystery that ties us all together.
Tips
You might not win every battle, but you can live to fight another day. Years from now current battles will probably seem less important. You may even be able to look back and laugh. Just live your dream and don't mind the critics, but if you have to throw hands throw hands!
Just start keeping yourself busy and indulge in things you like
Get at least 10 hours of sleep. Try to exercise for at least one hour every day to build up your strength. If you do harder workout routines on one day, rest the next day.
Warnings
When times are tough, we're more vulnerable than ever, and it can be tempting to do things that we would normally never consider. You might feel desperate for an unhealthy escape or validation, but such quick fixes will only make things worse. Don't turn to alcohol, drugs, or any other form of empty, temporary gratification. If you're going to escape, escape into the things that hold meaning for you, like music, reading, or art.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Mentally Strong\\n1-1. Remember that you are in control.\\nStrength implies having power and being able to change your own life, while weakness implies being powerless and helpless. Whatever your circumstances, there are things you can control, and things you can't. The key is to focus on the things you can control. Make a list of what is troubling you, then make a list of what you can do to make each situation better. Accept the items on the first list (they are what they are) and focus your energy on the second list.\\nIn studies of people with a high Adversity Quotient (AQ), it's observed that resilient people not only always find some aspect of a situation that they can control, but also feel responsible for taking action to fix the situation, even if their hardship was caused by someone else. Those with a low AQ, however, ignore opportunities to take action and deflect accountability, presuming that because they didn't create the situation, they should not be the ones to fix it.\\n1-2. Choose your attitude.\\nSometimes, we encounter situations in which we really are helpless to enact change. Even though these times are trying, you can still be in control because no matter what, you can always control your attitude towards life. As Victor Frankl put it: \\\"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.\\\" Regardless of what is happening, be positive.\\nIf somebody is making your life miserable, don't let them crush your spirit. Continue to be proud, have hope, and remember that attitude is something that no one can take away from you. \\\"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,\\\" as Eleanor Roosevelt said.\\nTry not to let a crisis or hardship in one area of your life spill over into other areas of your life. If you're facing great difficulty with work, for instance, don't behave irritably towards your significant other when they've done nothing but try to help. Eliminate the side effects of your hardship by controlling your own attitude. Resilient people do not turn every setback into a catastrophe, nor do they let negative events follow a domino effect through their lives.\\nIf it helps, remember and recite the Serenity prayer: \\\"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.\\\"\\n1-3. Rediscover your zest for life.\\nEmotionally strong people view each and every day as a gift. They try to structure them so that the gift is taken advantage of fully. Remember when you were a child and could get excited by the simplest wonders of life — playing with leaves in the fall, drawing a make-believe animal, eating a s'more? Find that inner child. Be that inner child. Your ability to be mentally and emotionally strong depends on it.\\n1-4. Have faith in yourself.\\nYou've made it this far. You can make it through just one more day. And if you take it just one day at a time, or even one moment at a time, you can survive whatever you're going through. It won't be easy, and you're not invincible, so take baby steps. When you feel like you're about to fall apart, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Remember these things in your quest:\\nDon't listen to the naysayers. There will always be people who doubt you, for whatever reason. Your job is to not listen to them and, ultimately, to prove them wrong. Don't let them take hope away from you just because they've lost theirs. The world is practically begging you to transform it. What are you waiting for?\\nThink about the times that you've succeeded. Use them as motivation in your journey. Whether it's that classroom assignment you aced, that person you talked to, or the birth of your child, let it feed your desire to be a stronger, more adjusted person. Like begets like!\\nTry, try, and try again. There will come a time when you doubt yourself because you tried and failed. But failure is part of success, and everyone fails sometimes. Look up famous people who have failed multiple times before accomplishing their goals to help you get inspired.\\n1-5. Pick your battles wisely.\\nDoes every little thing that exasperates you — a colleague asking a question, a driver cutting you off — need to? Ask yourself why and whether these things matter. Try whittling your life down to a few core values that mean the world to you, and don't worry about anything else. As Sylvia Robinson once said, \\\"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong — sometimes it's letting go.\\\"\\n1-6. Reach out to the people who mean the most to you.\\nSpend time with friends and family, along with others who are supportive and positive. If no one is available, make new friends. And if there are no friends to be found, help others who are in greater need than you are. Sometimes when we feel like we can't better our own situations, we can find strength in bettering someone else's, and we can also gain perspective on our own lives.\\nThere's no doubting it — humans are very social animals. Studies and science both point to social wellbeing as an important factor in emotional and physical health. If you feel like you're struggling socially, it's worth trying to get some help. Here's a start:\\nHave a great conversation with someone\\nGet over mistakes — don't let them define you!\\nRecover after a breakup\\nOvercome shyness\\nAct like an extrovert\\n1-7. Strike a balance between work and play, rest and activity.\\nSounds easy enough, doesn't it? It's sorely overlooked precisely because it's deceptively hard. Either we work too hard and are constantly moving around, or we slack off more than we should and lounge like hippos, idle, on the banks of opportunity. Getting a good balance between work and play, rest and activity, will allow you to appreciate each mode for what it's worth. The grass won't seem greener on the other side because you won't be boxed in just one pasture.\\n1-8. Be thankful for what you have\\nLife is tough, but if you look closely enough, you'll find an infinite number of things to be grateful for in spite of the struggles of existence. Even if the things and people that made you happy in the past are gone, there's so much more to appreciate still. The joy you derive from the world around you is the fuel that'll push you through the hardest of times, so pay attention to what you have and enjoy it for what it's worth. Sure, you might not have that new shirt, or whatever it is you want, but at least you have this computer, with the Internet, equipped with the ability to read. At least you have this article to help you out. Some people can't read, have no computer, and are homeless. They wish they had what you did.\\nTry downloading a gratitude app for your smartphone. This will remind you to write about what you are grateful for every day and help you to develop an attitude of gratitude.\\n1-9. Don't take things so seriously\\nCharlie Chaplin knew something about comedy. He famously said: \\\"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.\\\" It's all too easy to get wrapped up in our own small tragedies that cause us to act and react on a micro level. But take a step back and look at life more philosophically, more mischievously, more romantically. The wonder, the limitless possibilities, the absurdity of it all — it's enough to make you laugh at how strangely lucky you are.\\nBecause, let's face it, life is just more fun when it isn't taken too seriously. And while making fun and being happy certainly isn't all life has to offer, it's an important part, right?\\n1-10. Remember that nothing is permanent.\\nIf you’re in the middle of a period of grief or pain that you can’t control, stand aside and let the moment happen. If you are going through a prolonged period of difficulty, remind yourself that this, too, shall pass. Accept the good and the bad moments in your life for what they are and don’t get too attached to either state. Learn to let go when things get bad, and appreciate life when it is good. This will help to keep you grounded when life gets difficult.\\n2. Being Physically Strong\\n2-1. Eat healthy\\nOne of the biggest hurdles we face in growing physically stronger is putting nutritious, energizing food in our bodies day in and day out. We've all been there: The fast food drive-through lane beckons to us, even though we told ourselves we'd cook broccoli and fish tonight. What if we told ourselves that our lives truly depended on it? Would we change our eating habits then?\\nFocus primarily on consuming vegetables and fruits. Supplement this part of your diet with lean proteins, such as those found in poultry, fish, dairy, nuts, and beans.\\nKnow the difference between complex carbs and simple carbs and prioritize complex carbs, which tend to be absorbed slower and offer more fiber.\\nPrioritize healthy fats over unhealthy ones. Unsaturated fats, such as olive oil, and omega 3 fatty acids, found in salmon and flax seeds, are actually good for you in moderation. Avoid unhealthy fats such as saturated and trans fats.\\nMix it up. Add variety to your diet. You want to get strong, but take pleasure in eating. Food isn't just about bulking up. Enjoying it for what it is will make you a more well-rounded individual and help you stay fitter.\\n2-2. Exercise\\nGetting strong isn't just about pumping iron. It's about working with your entire body to burn fat, build muscle, and develop endurance. There are tons and tons of exercises you can try to get a full body workout, but the important thing to remember here is consistency. Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day, even if those 30 minutes are walking the dog for 20 and \\\"stretching\\\" for 10!\\n2-3. Start working with weights\\nBuilding muscle will help you stay strong, but getting there is the tough part. Equal parts grueling and boring (just kidding!), weight-lifting systematically breaks down and then repairs muscle in order to make it even stronger. For more complete strength, focus on your entire body. You don't want to look like the gym-rat who only works on biceps and never makes it for leg day.\\nBuild muscle in your chest area\\nBuild muscle in your legs and thighs\\nBuild muscle in your arms and shoulders\\nBuild muscle in your core\\n2-4. Get enough sleep\\nIn order to rebuild muscle, reduce stress, and stay balanced emotionally, the human body needs anywhere from 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night for most adults. You're not going to go breaking strength records on 4 hours of sleep. And if you don't sleep well or long enough one night, be prepared to try to sleep even more the next night, as you've built up a sleep deficit.\\n2-5. Steer clear of so-called vices like cigarettes, excessive alcohol, and other drugs.\\nEveryone understands that smoking cigarettes, abusing drugs, and drinking excessively is a recipe for poor health. And yet we either seem to justify it to ourselves in some way, or just conveniently forget it when the time comes to control the urge. To help you rationally control any urges, here are some statistics that put nicotine and alcohol into context:\\nAlmost 500,000 smokers die in the U.S. each year alone. And smokers die, on average, between 13 and 14 years younger than non-smoking counterparts. That's almost a quarter of your life you're needlessly throwing away.\\n49% of murders, 52% of rapes, 21% of suicides, 60% of child abuse, and over 50% of fatal road accidents occur at least in part because of alcohol.\\n3. Being Spiritually Strong\\n3-1. Connect to a force that is greater than you.\\nWhether that force is one of the religions' or merely the force of the universe, know that spirituality is all and only about you and your beliefs. Know that you don't have to believe in God to believe in a greater spiritual reality. Explore your beliefs, as well as those of others, and settle into a framework which you believe.\\n3-2. Ask questions and never stop learning.\\nBecoming spiritually \\\"strong\\\" and spiritually \\\"active\\\" aren't necessarily the same thing. The spiritually active person might adopt a belief or assume a faith and leave it at that, never questioning the faith's usefulness or tenets. The spiritually strong person asks questions about sacred texts, scrutinizes behavior, and is constantly looking for answers both inside and outside the framework of their faith.\\nA spiritually strong Christian, for example, has no problem talking to an atheist and debating the finer points of Biblical orthodoxy. They might view the experience as an opportunity to learn, a refreshing departure from the usual. Their faith is usually strengthened by such an encounter, and if it isn't, that doubt is calmly and judiciously explored.\\n3-3. Avoid judging other people for their spiritual beliefs.\\nImagine if you neighbor or a complete stranger came up to you and told you that your faith was completely misguided and forced you to believe in his spiritual order — all without your consent. How would you feel? Not very good, most likely. Well, that's how other people feel when proselytized or otherwise compelled to believe. Balance your own faith with your duty to your common man in as unobtrusive a way as possible.\\n3-4. Identify blessings in your life.\\nMost religions and spiritual orders believe in the idea of a blessing, which is help or approval from God or the universe. What's a blessing in your life?\\nTry this helpful exercise for one week to hone your perception of just how many blessings you have. For seven successive days, identify a blessing that was given to you from the following:\\nFamily member\\nNeighbor\\nFriend\\nWork colleague\\nStranger\\nChild\\nEnemy\\n3-5. Help spread love from wherever you are.\\nSpiritual strength ultimately is a form of faith that the universe is a mystery but that love between humans is self-evident. Be an agent of change and a force for good by spreading love. Whether it's a simple gesture of providing food to the homeless, smiling at a stranger, or sacrificing your well-being for the well-being of someone else, spreading love gets us all a little closer to understanding the mystery that ties us all together.\\nTips\\nYou might not win every battle, but you can live to fight another day. Years from now current battles will probably seem less important. You may even be able to look back and laugh. Just live your dream and don't mind the critics, but if you have to throw hands throw hands!\\nJust start keeping yourself busy and indulge in things you like\\nGet at least 10 hours of sleep. Try to exercise for at least one hour every day to build up your strength. If you do harder workout routines on one day, rest the next day.\\nWarnings\\nWhen times are tough, we're more vulnerable than ever, and it can be tempting to do things that we would normally never consider. You might feel desperate for an unhealthy escape or validation, but such quick fixes will only make things worse. Don't turn to alcohol, drugs, or any other form of empty, temporary gratification. If you're going to escape, escape into the things that hold meaning for you, like music, reading, or art.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being strong is not just about being physically strong. When faced with difficult circumstances, some people falter and spiral towards self-destruction while others survive and even thrive once the storm has passed. No one is completely immune to adversity, but some people seem to be better able to cope with and recover from even the most strenuous conditions. To develop your own mental, physical, or spiritual strength, follow these suggestions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Mentally Strong\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that you are in control.\", \"描述\": \"Strength implies having power and being able to change your own life, while weakness implies being powerless and helpless. Whatever your circumstances, there are things you can control, and things you can't. The key is to focus on the things you can control. Make a list of what is troubling you, then make a list of what you can do to make each situation better. Accept the items on the first list (they are what they are) and focus your energy on the second list.\\nIn studies of people with a high Adversity Quotient (AQ), it's observed that resilient people not only always find some aspect of a situation that they can control, but also feel responsible for taking action to fix the situation, even if their hardship was caused by someone else. Those with a low AQ, however, ignore opportunities to take action and deflect accountability, presuming that because they didn't create the situation, they should not be the ones to fix it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose your attitude.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, we encounter situations in which we really are helpless to enact change. Even though these times are trying, you can still be in control because no matter what, you can always control your attitude towards life. As Victor Frankl put it: \\\"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.\\\" Regardless of what is happening, be positive.\\nIf somebody is making your life miserable, don't let them crush your spirit. Continue to be proud, have hope, and remember that attitude is something that no one can take away from you. \\\"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,\\\" as Eleanor Roosevelt said.\\nTry not to let a crisis or hardship in one area of your life spill over into other areas of your life. If you're facing great difficulty with work, for instance, don't behave irritably towards your significant other when they've done nothing but try to help. Eliminate the side effects of your hardship by controlling your own attitude. Resilient people do not turn every setback into a catastrophe, nor do they let negative events follow a domino effect through their lives.\\nIf it helps, remember and recite the Serenity prayer: \\\"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rediscover your zest for life.\", \"描述\": \"Emotionally strong people view each and every day as a gift. They try to structure them so that the gift is taken advantage of fully. Remember when you were a child and could get excited by the simplest wonders of life — playing with leaves in the fall, drawing a make-believe animal, eating a s'more? Find that inner child. Be that inner child. Your ability to be mentally and emotionally strong depends on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have faith in yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You've made it this far. You can make it through just one more day. And if you take it just one day at a time, or even one moment at a time, you can survive whatever you're going through. It won't be easy, and you're not invincible, so take baby steps. When you feel like you're about to fall apart, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Remember these things in your quest:\\nDon't listen to the naysayers. There will always be people who doubt you, for whatever reason. Your job is to not listen to them and, ultimately, to prove them wrong. Don't let them take hope away from you just because they've lost theirs. The world is practically begging you to transform it. What are you waiting for?\\nThink about the times that you've succeeded. Use them as motivation in your journey. Whether it's that classroom assignment you aced, that person you talked to, or the birth of your child, let it feed your desire to be a stronger, more adjusted person. Like begets like!\\nTry, try, and try again. There will come a time when you doubt yourself because you tried and failed. But failure is part of success, and everyone fails sometimes. Look up famous people who have failed multiple times before accomplishing their goals to help you get inspired.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pick your battles wisely.\", \"描述\": \"Does every little thing that exasperates you — a colleague asking a question, a driver cutting you off — need to? Ask yourself why and whether these things matter. Try whittling your life down to a few core values that mean the world to you, and don't worry about anything else. As Sylvia Robinson once said, \\\"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong — sometimes it's letting go.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reach out to the people who mean the most to you.\", \"描述\": \"Spend time with friends and family, along with others who are supportive and positive. If no one is available, make new friends. And if there are no friends to be found, help others who are in greater need than you are. Sometimes when we feel like we can't better our own situations, we can find strength in bettering someone else's, and we can also gain perspective on our own lives.\\nThere's no doubting it — humans are very social animals. Studies and science both point to social wellbeing as an important factor in emotional and physical health. If you feel like you're struggling socially, it's worth trying to get some help. Here's a start:\\nHave a great conversation with someone\\nGet over mistakes — don't let them define you!\\nRecover after a breakup\\nOvercome shyness\\nAct like an extrovert\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Strike a balance between work and play, rest and activity.\", \"描述\": \"Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? It's sorely overlooked precisely because it's deceptively hard. Either we work too hard and are constantly moving around, or we slack off more than we should and lounge like hippos, idle, on the banks of opportunity. Getting a good balance between work and play, rest and activity, will allow you to appreciate each mode for what it's worth. The grass won't seem greener on the other side because you won't be boxed in just one pasture.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be thankful for what you have\", \"描述\": \"Life is tough, but if you look closely enough, you'll find an infinite number of things to be grateful for in spite of the struggles of existence. Even if the things and people that made you happy in the past are gone, there's so much more to appreciate still. The joy you derive from the world around you is the fuel that'll push you through the hardest of times, so pay attention to what you have and enjoy it for what it's worth. Sure, you might not have that new shirt, or whatever it is you want, but at least you have this computer, with the Internet, equipped with the ability to read. At least you have this article to help you out. Some people can't read, have no computer, and are homeless. They wish they had what you did.\\nTry downloading a gratitude app for your smartphone. This will remind you to write about what you are grateful for every day and help you to develop an attitude of gratitude.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't take things so seriously\", \"描述\": \"Charlie Chaplin knew something about comedy. He famously said: \\\"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.\\\" It's all too easy to get wrapped up in our own small tragedies that cause us to act and react on a micro level. But take a step back and look at life more philosophically, more mischievously, more romantically. The wonder, the limitless possibilities, the absurdity of it all — it's enough to make you laugh at how strangely lucky you are.\\nBecause, let's face it, life is just more fun when it isn't taken too seriously. And while making fun and being happy certainly isn't all life has to offer, it's an important part, right?\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Remember that nothing is permanent.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re in the middle of a period of grief or pain that you can’t control, stand aside and let the moment happen. If you are going through a prolonged period of difficulty, remind yourself that this, too, shall pass. Accept the good and the bad moments in your life for what they are and don’t get too attached to either state. Learn to let go when things get bad, and appreciate life when it is good. This will help to keep you grounded when life gets difficult.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Physically Strong\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat healthy\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest hurdles we face in growing physically stronger is putting nutritious, energizing food in our bodies day in and day out. We've all been there: The fast food drive-through lane beckons to us, even though we told ourselves we'd cook broccoli and fish tonight. What if we told ourselves that our lives truly depended on it? Would we change our eating habits then?\\nFocus primarily on consuming vegetables and fruits. Supplement this part of your diet with lean proteins, such as those found in poultry, fish, dairy, nuts, and beans.\\nKnow the difference between complex carbs and simple carbs and prioritize complex carbs, which tend to be absorbed slower and offer more fiber.\\nPrioritize healthy fats over unhealthy ones. Unsaturated fats, such as olive oil, and omega 3 fatty acids, found in salmon and flax seeds, are actually good for you in moderation. Avoid unhealthy fats such as saturated and trans fats.\\nMix it up. Add variety to your diet. You want to get strong, but take pleasure in eating. Food isn't just about bulking up. Enjoying it for what it is will make you a more well-rounded individual and help you stay fitter.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise\", \"描述\": \"Getting strong isn't just about pumping iron. It's about working with your entire body to burn fat, build muscle, and develop endurance. There are tons and tons of exercises you can try to get a full body workout, but the important thing to remember here is consistency. Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day, even if those 30 minutes are walking the dog for 20 and \\\"stretching\\\" for 10!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start working with weights\", \"描述\": \"Building muscle will help you stay strong, but getting there is the tough part. Equal parts grueling and boring (just kidding!), weight-lifting systematically breaks down and then repairs muscle in order to make it even stronger. For more complete strength, focus on your entire body. You don't want to look like the gym-rat who only works on biceps and never makes it for leg day.\\nBuild muscle in your chest area\\nBuild muscle in your legs and thighs\\nBuild muscle in your arms and shoulders\\nBuild muscle in your core\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep\", \"描述\": \"In order to rebuild muscle, reduce stress, and stay balanced emotionally, the human body needs anywhere from 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night for most adults. You're not going to go breaking strength records on 4 hours of sleep. And if you don't sleep well or long enough one night, be prepared to try to sleep even more the next night, as you've built up a sleep deficit.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Steer clear of so-called vices like cigarettes, excessive alcohol, and other drugs.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone understands that smoking cigarettes, abusing drugs, and drinking excessively is a recipe for poor health. And yet we either seem to justify it to ourselves in some way, or just conveniently forget it when the time comes to control the urge. To help you rationally control any urges, here are some statistics that put nicotine and alcohol into context:\\nAlmost 500,000 smokers die in the U.S. each year alone. And smokers die, on average, between 13 and 14 years younger than non-smoking counterparts. That's almost a quarter of your life you're needlessly throwing away.\\n49% of murders, 52% of rapes, 21% of suicides, 60% of child abuse, and over 50% of fatal road accidents occur at least in part because of alcohol.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Spiritually Strong\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Connect to a force that is greater than you.\", \"描述\": \"Whether that force is one of the religions' or merely the force of the universe, know that spirituality is all and only about you and your beliefs. Know that you don't have to believe in God to believe in a greater spiritual reality. Explore your beliefs, as well as those of others, and settle into a framework which you believe.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask questions and never stop learning.\", \"描述\": \"Becoming spiritually \\\"strong\\\" and spiritually \\\"active\\\" aren't necessarily the same thing. The spiritually active person might adopt a belief or assume a faith and leave it at that, never questioning the faith's usefulness or tenets. The spiritually strong person asks questions about sacred texts, scrutinizes behavior, and is constantly looking for answers both inside and outside the framework of their faith.\\nA spiritually strong Christian, for example, has no problem talking to an atheist and debating the finer points of Biblical orthodoxy. They might view the experience as an opportunity to learn, a refreshing departure from the usual. Their faith is usually strengthened by such an encounter, and if it isn't, that doubt is calmly and judiciously explored.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid judging other people for their spiritual beliefs.\", \"描述\": \"Imagine if you neighbor or a complete stranger came up to you and told you that your faith was completely misguided and forced you to believe in his spiritual order — all without your consent. How would you feel? Not very good, most likely. Well, that's how other people feel when proselytized or otherwise compelled to believe. Balance your own faith with your duty to your common man in as unobtrusive a way as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Identify blessings in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Most religions and spiritual orders believe in the idea of a blessing, which is help or approval from God or the universe. What's a blessing in your life?\\nTry this helpful exercise for one week to hone your perception of just how many blessings you have. For seven successive days, identify a blessing that was given to you from the following:\\nFamily member\\nNeighbor\\nFriend\\nWork colleague\\nStranger\\nChild\\nEnemy\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Help spread love from wherever you are.\", \"描述\": \"Spiritual strength ultimately is a form of faith that the universe is a mystery but that love between humans is self-evident. Be an agent of change and a force for good by spreading love. Whether it's a simple gesture of providing food to the homeless, smiling at a stranger, or sacrificing your well-being for the well-being of someone else, spreading love gets us all a little closer to understanding the mystery that ties us all together.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You might not win every battle, but you can live to fight another day. Years from now current battles will probably seem less important. You may even be able to look back and laugh. Just live your dream and don't mind the critics, but if you have to throw hands throw hands!\\n\", \"Just start keeping yourself busy and indulge in things you like\\n\", \"Get at least 10 hours of sleep. Try to exercise for at least one hour every day to build up your strength. If you do harder workout routines on one day, rest the next day.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"When times are tough, we're more vulnerable than ever, and it can be tempting to do things that we would normally never consider. You might feel desperate for an unhealthy escape or validation, but such quick fixes will only make things worse. Don't turn to alcohol, drugs, or any other form of empty, temporary gratification. If you're going to escape, escape into the things that hold meaning for you, like music, reading, or art.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,187 | How to Be Strong After a Breakup | 1. Coping with the Grief
1-1. Accept that the pain is normal.
As an old song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.” Scientists have even shown that romantic rejection activates the same pathways in the brain that physical pain does. It hurts when you break up with someone, and it’s completely natural to feel upset about it.
Some psychologists estimate that about 98% of us have experienced some form of unrequited love, whether it’s an unreturned crush or a nasty breakup. Knowing that you’re not alone probably won’t heal your broken heart, but it could make the pain easier to bear.
1-2. Let it out.
Don’t pretend you’re fine. Denying or minimizing your emotions -- like telling yourself “I’m really fine” or “It’s no big deal” -- will actually make them worse in the long run. You have to process how you’re feeling so you can move past it.
Cry your eyes out if you feel like it. Crying can actually be therapeutic when you’re upset. It can reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and anger. So go ahead, grab some tissues and wail your heart out if it helps.
Express your emotions through creative pursuits, like art or music. Write a song about how you feel, or play a track that comforts you. Draw a picture of your emotional state. The only thing here is to stay away from things that are too sad or angry (think death metal). These may actually increase your feelings of sadness and anger.
It’s tempting to let your grief out by punching or breaking things, screaming, or shouting, but avoid this impulse if you can. Studies show that using violence to express your anger, even if it’s toward an inanimate object like a pillow, can actually make you feel more angry. To express your anger in a healthy way, try talking about your feelings to yourself or to someone you love.
This will be easier with a family member or friend you trust. Find someone who has a shoulder you're comfortable crying on and let loose. They've likely cried on your shoulder at some point. Now all they're doing is returning the favor.
1-3. Write about your feelings.
Expressing how you feel, rather than bottling it all up or trying to ignore it, will help you accept that you’re in pain now, but it won’t always be this way. Writing about your feelings openly and honestly can help you understand them. The first step to coping with post-breakup loneliness is taking some time for introspection and reflection.
Take 20 minutes a day for three days to let loose and write about your deepest thoughts and feelings about this relationship. Reflect on your experience while you were in the relationship, how you feel in the aftermath of the breakup, or what your worries are now that you’re not in a relationship anymore.
Common reasons for breakups include a lack of independence, a lack of openness, or missing that “magic” feeling.
Don’t worry about grammar or spelling when you write. You’re writing just for you, to express your feelings and thoughts.
1-4. Examine your writing.
Writing your emotion journal is the first step. The next is to look back at what you’ve written and try to figure out why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. Thinking through your emotions will help you understand them better, and can also help you catch any distortions that might be unfair to yourself.
For example, a very common fear after a breakup is that we’re undesirable, even unlovable. It can be easy to feel like you’ll never find anyone who wants you again. This is a natural reaction, but you shouldn’t convince yourself it’s true. Try looking for the evidence that plenty of people do love you, even if that one person you wanted most to love you doesn’t (or can’t in the way you wanted).
Look for global, internal, and irreversible statements in your journal. Research shows that these types of thought can lead to depression after a breakup and can make it harder to move on.
For example, a global statement might look like “This breakup is going to ruin my life.” It probably does feel that way sometimes, but it’s probably not as true as it feels. Try rephrasing this as a limited statement: “This breakup hurts right now, but it’s only one part of my life.”
An internal statement blames yourself: “This is all my fault” or “If only I’d done things differently, we wouldn’t have broken up.” Remember that relationships involve two people. The chances of anything being 100% one person’s fault are very slim. And in general, breakups happen because of incompatibilities, not because one person is “bad” or “wrong.” Try telling yourself something like: “This relationship didn’t end up working out because we just weren’t suited for each other. People are different and have different needs. It’s okay.”
An irreversible statement is, well, irreversible: “I’m never going to get over him/her” or “I’m never going to not feel this way.” Remind yourself that all feelings are temporary. People change. Hearts mend. Try telling yourself: “I am in pain right now, and that’s all right. It won’t last forever.”
1-5. Repeat positive self-affirmations to yourself.
Breakups can really do a number on your self-confidence. Showing yourself a little daily kindness can remind you that you are an awesome person with a lot to offer the right person. The next time negative thoughts about your breakup show up -- and they probably will, at least for a while -- challenge them with one of these helpful affirmations:
I am worth love and care, and there are people who recognize that
I’m upset right now, but it won’t last forever
Part of my pain is caused by brain chemistry, which I can’t control
My thoughts and feelings are not facts
I love and honor myself
1-6. List your positive attributes.
Breakups can cause you to doubt your self-worth. It’s important to remind yourself of all the good things about you. Studies show that when you remind yourself that you’re worth loving, you handle rejection better. Make a list of the cool, great, interesting things about yourself. When you’re feeling down, whip out that list and remind yourself that you’re a remarkable person.
Think about things you can do (especially if they don’t involve the person you just broke up with). Do you skydive, paint, write music, dance? Do you enjoy long walks or cooking a great meal? List your skills and remind yourself that you’re strong and capable.
Think about the things you like about yourself. Do you have a killer smile? A fantastic fashion sense? Remind yourself that you have plenty to offer -- and that the only opinion that really matters is your own.
Think about positive things others have told you about yourself. Do your friends tell you how supportive you are? Are you the life of the party? Are you the caring person who gives up your seat on the subway or bus? Remind yourself that others see your value, too.
1-7. Get support.
When you break up with someone, it’s natural to feel isolated or disconnected. Reaching out to friends and loved ones will help you cope with these feelings and remind you that you have plenty of love in your life.
Talk with your friends. Share your feelings with them. Ask them about their own breakup experiences. They can offer you support and advice.
If your friends offer you feedback or advice, try to be open and listen to them. You don’t have to take their advice, but accept the spirit in which it’s offered. If you notice that over time they become reluctant to talk to you about the breakup, you may be dwelling on it too much. Remember to ask your friends about their own lives, too.
Sometimes, friends and loved ones may go too far. They may try to control your decisions or “fix” your problems for you. They may turn to bad-mouthing your ex, which isn’t always what you need. If your loved ones’ support is starting to go beyond helpful advice and conversation, show your appreciation for their support and let them know you can handle this on your own. For example, if a friend offers to give your ex a “piece of her mind,” you could say, “I really appreciate that you want to stand up for me, but I can handle this. Please don’t do that.”
2. Staying Strong
2-1. Cut off ties with your ex.
When you two broke up, it likely happened for a reason. Not contacting your ex is an important step in healing from a breakup. You may feel desperate to contact your ex, especially in the beginning, but remind yourself of the reasons you broke up. Stay strong and stay away from that phone!
Romantic love stimulates dopamine pathways in the brain, making you feel “rewarded” for your emotions. When you break up, your brain treats it the same way as it treats a drug addiction. No matter how hard it feels, don’t give in to the craving, or you’ll never kick it.
Don’t call or text your ex. If you need to, delete his or her number from your phone and contacts. Don’t email or send messages on social media.
Cyberstalking is a real thing. Don’t look up your ex on Facebook or Instagram. You’ll only concentrate on the pictures of him or her being happy and having a good time. You’ll keep looking for clues and memories, keeping you from feeling better. If you have to, block your ex on your pages so you’re not tempted.
Don’t “vaguebook” (post vague statuses on social media) in a bid for attention. Focusing on the past will only keep you from moving toward your future.
2-2. Get rid of mementos.
Holding on to treasured gifts from your ex or photos of the two of you will hold you back from healing and moving on. You may even find that having them around triggers feelings of sadness, loneliness, or anger.
Delete photos of your ex from social media accounts (or at least crop him or her out of the photos).
Resist the urge to do things that you used to do together, like listen to “your song” or visit your favorite date spot. These things will keep you focused on the relationship you don’t have anymore, instead of allowing you to go out and form new relationships (and strengthen existing ones).
Memories aren’t always triggered by things. Even sounds and scents can trigger a memory or emotion. If this happens, don’t try to ignore or deny it. Acknowledge the feeling: “Oh, that smell reminds me of our pizza date nights. I miss those.” And then move on.
If you have things that seem too nice to throw out, consider donating them to a charity or thrift store. You’ll be able to let go of that t-shirt/coffee mug/teddy bear, and you’ll be making a positive difference in someone else’s life, too.
2-3. Play nice.
It’s too easy to go out and slash your ex’s tires, key his or her car, or egg his or her house. You could spread rumors about him or her and start the gossip mill going, but don’t. This behavior will only keep you locked in the past instead of focusing on how you’re going to move past the breakup. It may even lose you some friends.
About half of people admit to stalking their ex in some way after a breakup, from making unwanted phone calls to threatening or even vandalizing an ex’s property. Carrie Underwood may make it sound like fun revenge, but this type of behavior just makes it harder to recover from the breakup.
Stalking and destructive behavior is also illegal. Is your ex worth an arrest record? Didn’t think so.
2-4. Avoid rash decisions.
After a breakup, it’s common to want to get your hair cut or dyed or get a tattoo. This helps us feel like we're changing our identities and that we can be a whole new person, a person that didn’t have this relationship. Remember that your brain chemistry is altered during a breakup, and your judgment is more than likely impaired right now.
Let some time pass. If after a few months you still really want that tattoo because it symbolizes something important, go for it then.
2-5. Keep yourself busy.
Distraction is only a temporary cure, but it can really help take your mind off the pain from your breakup. Keeping yourself busy with things you enjoy, especially if they’re new and exciting, will help you realize that your life isn’t over after all.
Read that book series you’ve been meaning to get around to but never have. Join a book club so you can talk about it with others!
Take a class, learn a new skill, pick up a new hobby. Learning new skills will remind you that you’re capable of growth and achievement.
Call up people you’ve been meaning to chat with for months and haven’t. Remind yourself that you’re surrounded by people who love and support you.
2-6. Exercise.
Exercise is a good way to vent your frustration and pain. It releases endorphins, those chemicals in your brain that make you happy. Regular moderate exercise can help you fight off anxiety and depression, too. Aim for 30 minutes a day to feel that rush.
If you think your schedule doesn't allow it, think again. Look into high-intensity interval training where you only need to work out in small, 15-minute chunks. Alternatively, do a bit in the morning and then at night. It doesn't have to be all at once.
Make less noticeable efforts, too, like parking far away from the entrance of where you're going or washing the car by hand.
Just don’t approach exercise as a way to “fix” yourself. This is an unhealthy way of approaching it, and can lead to body image distortions and other mental health issues. Exercise because it’s good for your body and mind, not because you feel you “need” to in order to be desirable to others.
3. Learning to Thrive
3-1. Have fun.
This may seem next to impossible, especially if you’re still raw after a breakup. However, having fun is great medicine for your brain. It reduces feelings of anger and increases your feelings of positivity. So go out with friends. See a movie. Go disco dancing. Sing karaoke. Do things you enjoy and let loose a little. You’ll feel better for it.
Laughter, it turns out, really is the best medicine. It releases endorphins, which are your body’s natural mood elevators. Laughter even increases your body’s ability to tolerate pain.
3-2. Treat yourself.
“Retail therapy” can actually be good for you, if it’s done wisely. Research shows that when you go shopping after rejection, you tend to envision how your purchases will fit into your new lifestyle. Buying an outfit that boosts your self-confidence or replacing a piece of your ex’s furniture that isn’t your style can help you mend.
Just remember: don’t use spending to mask your pain. Don’t go overboard with your credit card, either, or you’ll end up stressed out when the bills come in. Allow yourself just a few treats.
3-3. Get engaged with your community.
Taking the focus off of yourself can help you avoid rumination, that “broken record loop” where the only thing you can think about is how much things suck. Studies show that showing kindness and compassion to others can boost your own mood and create a “ripple effect” of compassion in those around you. So go out there. Make yourself a better member of a better community.
Volunteering is a great way to get involved. Check with your church, school, or local volunteer organizations to see how you can make a difference.
Serving or giving to other people can also give you a sense of purpose. Studies have shown that when you make contributions to a cause you believe in -- especially if it’s in person -- you’re likely to feel like you’re making a difference in the world.
3-4. Focus on being positive
Just because they broke up with you or doesn't want you back doesn't mean that you're worthless. There are plenty of other people who want you and would be willing to treat you even better than your ex. Find things that make you smile and laugh. Surround yourself with friends and people who care. You’ll feel better.
Happiness breeds success, after all. The happier you are, the more positivity you'll cultivate around you, leading to bigger and better things.
Humans are really susceptible to “emotional contagion,” or picking up on others’ feelings and moods. If you surround yourself with positive people, you’re way more likely to feel positive yourself. On the flip side, if you surround yourself with people who are negative and bitter, you’re likely to feel that way.
4. Moving On
4-1. Forgive
After the initial phase of shock and grief has passed, you’ll find yourself in a place where you can let things go and remain cool. When you forgive your ex for everything that happened, the forgetting can start. That’s okay; it’s the natural cycle. Remember: forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not the other person.
One way to forgive someone is to start by remembering what it is you want to forgive. Recall how it made you feel. Notice your thoughts about yourself and about your ex.
Reflect on this experience. What can you learn from it? Perhaps there are things you would do differently. Perhaps there are things you hope the other person would do differently. What will you look for in the future? How will you use this experience to grow?
Remember that forgiveness isn’t an excuse for bad behavior. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to reconcile with that person, or that you’re saying s/he was “right” to do what s/he did. It means letting go of the burden of anger. Forgiveness makes you free.
Remind yourself that you cannot control how others act. The only thing you can control is your own actions and responses.
Tell yourself that you forgive the other person for his or her mistakes. And remember that it can take some time for you to fully feel forgiveness -- that’s okay.
4-2. Reflect a little, then think forward.
Right now it’s likely that you’re dwelling on the past. Why is that? You can’t change it. It won’t do "future you" any good. What if you thought about the future? That would definitely make thinking positive much, much easier. Spend a little time reflecting on what you’ve learned from the situation, and then take some time to plan for the future.
Use this time to consider what you can learn from this relationship to take into the future. What will you do differently? Make a list of things you learned didn't work in the relationship and things that did work. Then write down the attributes you would like your new partner to have, what type of person he or she is, physical attributes, characteristics, and so on.
Consider whether you can see a pattern in your past relationships. Sometimes, people repeatedly fall for people who just aren’t good for them. This can happen for a variety of reasons, including how you interacted with your parents as a child. Examine whether you seem to have a “type” that just doesn’t seem to be working out for you. Think about how you can break this unhelpful pattern next time.
Treat this as a learning experience. Breakups hurt. They suck. But they can also make you a stronger, more confident, more compassionate person, if you let them. Look for things you can learn about yourself and your needs. What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t before?
4-3. Find who you really are.
In a serious relationship, we often become half of the other person instead of a full and unique version of ourselves. This is often why breakups are so hard. But once you’re set free, you can find yourself again. You can spend time doing what you love, unhindered by anyone else’ opinion or constraints. Take some time to figure out what you value and who you want to be.
When you were in this relationship, you probably made compromises. Now's the time not to make compromises and to listen to you. Have anchovies on your pizza if you like them. Sleep in on weekends if your ex was an early riser who always had plans. Wear favorite clothing your ex didn't like. Hang the art or posters your ex didn't like. Listen to the music your ex didn't like. All these are ways of regaining yourself, rebuilding your sense of self as a separate individual rather than half of the couple
What fell by the wayside when this relationship started? A friendship? A hobby? What time got taken from another aspect of your life and given to focus on this person? Think back about what you gave up. Is it still there waiting for you? Odds are, probably.
4-4. Push yourself out of your comfort zone.
It’s easy to stay inside our comfort zones because, well, it’s comfortable. However, it’s hard to really thrive without challenges. Take this opportunity to try new things and take risks you might not otherwise do.
Too much comfort kills your motivation. Since you’re probably already feeling a little uncomfortable after this breakup, use this uncertainty to your benefit! Use it to transform the areas in your life that need a little work.
Learning to get outside your comfort zone has other benefits, too. For example, taking (reasonable, controlled) risks makes it easier to accept that vulnerability and the unexpected are just facts of life. Once you accept this, it’s much easier to handle the next unexpected thing that comes up.
This doesn’t mean you should take up extreme sports with no training, or decide to move to a foreign country without any knowledge of its culture or language. Start with smaller challenges and work your way up.
Think of this as much-deserved freedom. You can go to school, live somewhere else, or finally get that kitten you wanted. You can spend your Friday nights in that art class you've always wanted to take. If there’s a dream you always wanted to pursue, now is the time.
4-5. Give it time.
You are heartbroken now, but you won’t be heartbroken later. It sounds cliche, but it’s cliche for a good reason -- time really does heal your wounds. You need time to get perspective on things. While it may be uncomfortable now to think of this person as a memory, later on s/he can be a memory you’re quite fond of and glad happened. People don't fade automatically, so don't be hard on yourself if the grieving process doesn't seem to go away. That's natural. But have faith that it will.
The thing is that when it does pass, you won't really realize it. You'll wake up one day and realize that you haven't thought about this person for weeks. It happens slowly and under the radar. So just when you think nothing's happening, bam. It does. It always does.
Tips
Make a playlist of songs that inspire you. Include songs that make you feel confident and strong! When you start feeling lost or alone, start this playlist to get your focus back.
Remember to enjoy your life. It's good to move on and embrace who you are as an individual. Take this time to spend even more time with the people who really matter: Your family and your close friends.
Lay back and relax! Listening some nice music to keep your mind off it.
Warnings
Remaining "just friends" is a big no-no if you are still romantically attached. Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute "get your ex back" manuals start with this first simple step: take a break. It should be a long break, like a year or two. It's not emotionally safe to resume the friendship until you've stopped feeling romantic about your former partner completely – till you feel happy about it if they're dating someone else.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Coping with the Grief\\n1-1. Accept that the pain is normal.\\nAs an old song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.” Scientists have even shown that romantic rejection activates the same pathways in the brain that physical pain does. It hurts when you break up with someone, and it’s completely natural to feel upset about it.\\nSome psychologists estimate that about 98% of us have experienced some form of unrequited love, whether it’s an unreturned crush or a nasty breakup. Knowing that you’re not alone probably won’t heal your broken heart, but it could make the pain easier to bear.\\n1-2. Let it out.\\nDon’t pretend you’re fine. Denying or minimizing your emotions -- like telling yourself “I’m really fine” or “It’s no big deal” -- will actually make them worse in the long run. You have to process how you’re feeling so you can move past it.\\nCry your eyes out if you feel like it. Crying can actually be therapeutic when you’re upset. It can reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and anger. So go ahead, grab some tissues and wail your heart out if it helps.\\nExpress your emotions through creative pursuits, like art or music. Write a song about how you feel, or play a track that comforts you. Draw a picture of your emotional state. The only thing here is to stay away from things that are too sad or angry (think death metal). These may actually increase your feelings of sadness and anger.\\nIt’s tempting to let your grief out by punching or breaking things, screaming, or shouting, but avoid this impulse if you can. Studies show that using violence to express your anger, even if it’s toward an inanimate object like a pillow, can actually make you feel more angry. To express your anger in a healthy way, try talking about your feelings to yourself or to someone you love.\\nThis will be easier with a family member or friend you trust. Find someone who has a shoulder you're comfortable crying on and let loose. They've likely cried on your shoulder at some point. Now all they're doing is returning the favor.\\n1-3. Write about your feelings.\\nExpressing how you feel, rather than bottling it all up or trying to ignore it, will help you accept that you’re in pain now, but it won’t always be this way. Writing about your feelings openly and honestly can help you understand them. The first step to coping with post-breakup loneliness is taking some time for introspection and reflection.\\nTake 20 minutes a day for three days to let loose and write about your deepest thoughts and feelings about this relationship. Reflect on your experience while you were in the relationship, how you feel in the aftermath of the breakup, or what your worries are now that you’re not in a relationship anymore.\\nCommon reasons for breakups include a lack of independence, a lack of openness, or missing that “magic” feeling.\\nDon’t worry about grammar or spelling when you write. You’re writing just for you, to express your feelings and thoughts.\\n1-4. Examine your writing.\\nWriting your emotion journal is the first step. The next is to look back at what you’ve written and try to figure out why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. Thinking through your emotions will help you understand them better, and can also help you catch any distortions that might be unfair to yourself.\\nFor example, a very common fear after a breakup is that we’re undesirable, even unlovable. It can be easy to feel like you’ll never find anyone who wants you again. This is a natural reaction, but you shouldn’t convince yourself it’s true. Try looking for the evidence that plenty of people do love you, even if that one person you wanted most to love you doesn’t (or can’t in the way you wanted).\\nLook for global, internal, and irreversible statements in your journal. Research shows that these types of thought can lead to depression after a breakup and can make it harder to move on.\\nFor example, a global statement might look like “This breakup is going to ruin my life.” It probably does feel that way sometimes, but it’s probably not as true as it feels. Try rephrasing this as a limited statement: “This breakup hurts right now, but it’s only one part of my life.”\\nAn internal statement blames yourself: “This is all my fault” or “If only I’d done things differently, we wouldn’t have broken up.” Remember that relationships involve two people. The chances of anything being 100% one person’s fault are very slim. And in general, breakups happen because of incompatibilities, not because one person is “bad” or “wrong.” Try telling yourself something like: “This relationship didn’t end up working out because we just weren’t suited for each other. People are different and have different needs. It’s okay.”\\nAn irreversible statement is, well, irreversible: “I’m never going to get over him/her” or “I’m never going to not feel this way.” Remind yourself that all feelings are temporary. People change. Hearts mend. Try telling yourself: “I am in pain right now, and that’s all right. It won’t last forever.”\\n1-5. Repeat positive self-affirmations to yourself.\\nBreakups can really do a number on your self-confidence. Showing yourself a little daily kindness can remind you that you are an awesome person with a lot to offer the right person. The next time negative thoughts about your breakup show up -- and they probably will, at least for a while -- challenge them with one of these helpful affirmations:\\nI am worth love and care, and there are people who recognize that\\nI’m upset right now, but it won’t last forever\\nPart of my pain is caused by brain chemistry, which I can’t control\\nMy thoughts and feelings are not facts\\nI love and honor myself\\n1-6. List your positive attributes.\\nBreakups can cause you to doubt your self-worth. It’s important to remind yourself of all the good things about you. Studies show that when you remind yourself that you’re worth loving, you handle rejection better. Make a list of the cool, great, interesting things about yourself. When you’re feeling down, whip out that list and remind yourself that you’re a remarkable person.\\nThink about things you can do (especially if they don’t involve the person you just broke up with). Do you skydive, paint, write music, dance? Do you enjoy long walks or cooking a great meal? List your skills and remind yourself that you’re strong and capable.\\nThink about the things you like about yourself. Do you have a killer smile? A fantastic fashion sense? Remind yourself that you have plenty to offer -- and that the only opinion that really matters is your own.\\nThink about positive things others have told you about yourself. Do your friends tell you how supportive you are? Are you the life of the party? Are you the caring person who gives up your seat on the subway or bus? Remind yourself that others see your value, too.\\n1-7. Get support.\\nWhen you break up with someone, it’s natural to feel isolated or disconnected. Reaching out to friends and loved ones will help you cope with these feelings and remind you that you have plenty of love in your life.\\nTalk with your friends. Share your feelings with them. Ask them about their own breakup experiences. They can offer you support and advice.\\nIf your friends offer you feedback or advice, try to be open and listen to them. You don’t have to take their advice, but accept the spirit in which it’s offered. If you notice that over time they become reluctant to talk to you about the breakup, you may be dwelling on it too much. Remember to ask your friends about their own lives, too.\\nSometimes, friends and loved ones may go too far. They may try to control your decisions or “fix” your problems for you. They may turn to bad-mouthing your ex, which isn’t always what you need. If your loved ones’ support is starting to go beyond helpful advice and conversation, show your appreciation for their support and let them know you can handle this on your own. For example, if a friend offers to give your ex a “piece of her mind,” you could say, “I really appreciate that you want to stand up for me, but I can handle this. Please don’t do that.”\\n2. Staying Strong\\n2-1. Cut off ties with your ex.\\nWhen you two broke up, it likely happened for a reason. Not contacting your ex is an important step in healing from a breakup. You may feel desperate to contact your ex, especially in the beginning, but remind yourself of the reasons you broke up. Stay strong and stay away from that phone!\\nRomantic love stimulates dopamine pathways in the brain, making you feel “rewarded” for your emotions. When you break up, your brain treats it the same way as it treats a drug addiction. No matter how hard it feels, don’t give in to the craving, or you’ll never kick it.\\nDon’t call or text your ex. If you need to, delete his or her number from your phone and contacts. Don’t email or send messages on social media.\\nCyberstalking is a real thing. Don’t look up your ex on Facebook or Instagram. You’ll only concentrate on the pictures of him or her being happy and having a good time. You’ll keep looking for clues and memories, keeping you from feeling better. If you have to, block your ex on your pages so you’re not tempted.\\nDon’t “vaguebook” (post vague statuses on social media) in a bid for attention. Focusing on the past will only keep you from moving toward your future.\\n2-2. Get rid of mementos.\\nHolding on to treasured gifts from your ex or photos of the two of you will hold you back from healing and moving on. You may even find that having them around triggers feelings of sadness, loneliness, or anger.\\nDelete photos of your ex from social media accounts (or at least crop him or her out of the photos).\\nResist the urge to do things that you used to do together, like listen to “your song” or visit your favorite date spot. These things will keep you focused on the relationship you don’t have anymore, instead of allowing you to go out and form new relationships (and strengthen existing ones).\\nMemories aren’t always triggered by things. Even sounds and scents can trigger a memory or emotion. If this happens, don’t try to ignore or deny it. Acknowledge the feeling: “Oh, that smell reminds me of our pizza date nights. I miss those.” And then move on.\\nIf you have things that seem too nice to throw out, consider donating them to a charity or thrift store. You’ll be able to let go of that t-shirt/coffee mug/teddy bear, and you’ll be making a positive difference in someone else’s life, too.\\n2-3. Play nice.\\nIt’s too easy to go out and slash your ex’s tires, key his or her car, or egg his or her house. You could spread rumors about him or her and start the gossip mill going, but don’t. This behavior will only keep you locked in the past instead of focusing on how you’re going to move past the breakup. It may even lose you some friends.\\nAbout half of people admit to stalking their ex in some way after a breakup, from making unwanted phone calls to threatening or even vandalizing an ex’s property. Carrie Underwood may make it sound like fun revenge, but this type of behavior just makes it harder to recover from the breakup.\\nStalking and destructive behavior is also illegal. Is your ex worth an arrest record? Didn’t think so.\\n2-4. Avoid rash decisions.\\nAfter a breakup, it’s common to want to get your hair cut or dyed or get a tattoo. This helps us feel like we're changing our identities and that we can be a whole new person, a person that didn’t have this relationship. Remember that your brain chemistry is altered during a breakup, and your judgment is more than likely impaired right now.\\nLet some time pass. If after a few months you still really want that tattoo because it symbolizes something important, go for it then.\\n2-5. Keep yourself busy.\\nDistraction is only a temporary cure, but it can really help take your mind off the pain from your breakup. Keeping yourself busy with things you enjoy, especially if they’re new and exciting, will help you realize that your life isn’t over after all.\\nRead that book series you’ve been meaning to get around to but never have. Join a book club so you can talk about it with others!\\nTake a class, learn a new skill, pick up a new hobby. Learning new skills will remind you that you’re capable of growth and achievement.\\nCall up people you’ve been meaning to chat with for months and haven’t. Remind yourself that you’re surrounded by people who love and support you.\\n2-6. Exercise.\\nExercise is a good way to vent your frustration and pain. It releases endorphins, those chemicals in your brain that make you happy. Regular moderate exercise can help you fight off anxiety and depression, too. Aim for 30 minutes a day to feel that rush.\\nIf you think your schedule doesn't allow it, think again. Look into high-intensity interval training where you only need to work out in small, 15-minute chunks. Alternatively, do a bit in the morning and then at night. It doesn't have to be all at once.\\nMake less noticeable efforts, too, like parking far away from the entrance of where you're going or washing the car by hand.\\nJust don’t approach exercise as a way to “fix” yourself. This is an unhealthy way of approaching it, and can lead to body image distortions and other mental health issues. Exercise because it’s good for your body and mind, not because you feel you “need” to in order to be desirable to others.\\n3. Learning to Thrive\\n3-1. Have fun.\\nThis may seem next to impossible, especially if you’re still raw after a breakup. However, having fun is great medicine for your brain. It reduces feelings of anger and increases your feelings of positivity. So go out with friends. See a movie. Go disco dancing. Sing karaoke. Do things you enjoy and let loose a little. You’ll feel better for it.\\nLaughter, it turns out, really is the best medicine. It releases endorphins, which are your body’s natural mood elevators. Laughter even increases your body’s ability to tolerate pain.\\n3-2. Treat yourself.\\n“Retail therapy” can actually be good for you, if it’s done wisely. Research shows that when you go shopping after rejection, you tend to envision how your purchases will fit into your new lifestyle. Buying an outfit that boosts your self-confidence or replacing a piece of your ex’s furniture that isn’t your style can help you mend.\\nJust remember: don’t use spending to mask your pain. Don’t go overboard with your credit card, either, or you’ll end up stressed out when the bills come in. Allow yourself just a few treats.\\n3-3. Get engaged with your community.\\nTaking the focus off of yourself can help you avoid rumination, that “broken record loop” where the only thing you can think about is how much things suck. Studies show that showing kindness and compassion to others can boost your own mood and create a “ripple effect” of compassion in those around you. So go out there. Make yourself a better member of a better community.\\nVolunteering is a great way to get involved. Check with your church, school, or local volunteer organizations to see how you can make a difference.\\nServing or giving to other people can also give you a sense of purpose. Studies have shown that when you make contributions to a cause you believe in -- especially if it’s in person -- you’re likely to feel like you’re making a difference in the world.\\n3-4. Focus on being positive\\nJust because they broke up with you or doesn't want you back doesn't mean that you're worthless. There are plenty of other people who want you and would be willing to treat you even better than your ex. Find things that make you smile and laugh. Surround yourself with friends and people who care. You’ll feel better.\\nHappiness breeds success, after all. The happier you are, the more positivity you'll cultivate around you, leading to bigger and better things.\\nHumans are really susceptible to “emotional contagion,” or picking up on others’ feelings and moods. If you surround yourself with positive people, you’re way more likely to feel positive yourself. On the flip side, if you surround yourself with people who are negative and bitter, you’re likely to feel that way.\\n4. Moving On\\n4-1. Forgive\\nAfter the initial phase of shock and grief has passed, you’ll find yourself in a place where you can let things go and remain cool. When you forgive your ex for everything that happened, the forgetting can start. That’s okay; it’s the natural cycle. Remember: forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not the other person.\\nOne way to forgive someone is to start by remembering what it is you want to forgive. Recall how it made you feel. Notice your thoughts about yourself and about your ex.\\nReflect on this experience. What can you learn from it? Perhaps there are things you would do differently. Perhaps there are things you hope the other person would do differently. What will you look for in the future? How will you use this experience to grow?\\nRemember that forgiveness isn’t an excuse for bad behavior. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to reconcile with that person, or that you’re saying s/he was “right” to do what s/he did. It means letting go of the burden of anger. Forgiveness makes you free.\\nRemind yourself that you cannot control how others act. The only thing you can control is your own actions and responses.\\nTell yourself that you forgive the other person for his or her mistakes. And remember that it can take some time for you to fully feel forgiveness -- that’s okay.\\n4-2. Reflect a little, then think forward.\\nRight now it’s likely that you’re dwelling on the past. Why is that? You can’t change it. It won’t do \\\"future you\\\" any good. What if you thought about the future? That would definitely make thinking positive much, much easier. Spend a little time reflecting on what you’ve learned from the situation, and then take some time to plan for the future.\\nUse this time to consider what you can learn from this relationship to take into the future. What will you do differently? Make a list of things you learned didn't work in the relationship and things that did work. Then write down the attributes you would like your new partner to have, what type of person he or she is, physical attributes, characteristics, and so on.\\nConsider whether you can see a pattern in your past relationships. Sometimes, people repeatedly fall for people who just aren’t good for them. This can happen for a variety of reasons, including how you interacted with your parents as a child. Examine whether you seem to have a “type” that just doesn’t seem to be working out for you. Think about how you can break this unhelpful pattern next time.\\nTreat this as a learning experience. Breakups hurt. They suck. But they can also make you a stronger, more confident, more compassionate person, if you let them. Look for things you can learn about yourself and your needs. What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t before?\\n4-3. Find who you really are.\\nIn a serious relationship, we often become half of the other person instead of a full and unique version of ourselves. This is often why breakups are so hard. But once you’re set free, you can find yourself again. You can spend time doing what you love, unhindered by anyone else’ opinion or constraints. Take some time to figure out what you value and who you want to be.\\nWhen you were in this relationship, you probably made compromises. Now's the time not to make compromises and to listen to you. Have anchovies on your pizza if you like them. Sleep in on weekends if your ex was an early riser who always had plans. Wear favorite clothing your ex didn't like. Hang the art or posters your ex didn't like. Listen to the music your ex didn't like. All these are ways of regaining yourself, rebuilding your sense of self as a separate individual rather than half of the couple\\nWhat fell by the wayside when this relationship started? A friendship? A hobby? What time got taken from another aspect of your life and given to focus on this person? Think back about what you gave up. Is it still there waiting for you? Odds are, probably.\\n4-4. Push yourself out of your comfort zone.\\nIt’s easy to stay inside our comfort zones because, well, it’s comfortable. However, it’s hard to really thrive without challenges. Take this opportunity to try new things and take risks you might not otherwise do.\\nToo much comfort kills your motivation. Since you’re probably already feeling a little uncomfortable after this breakup, use this uncertainty to your benefit! Use it to transform the areas in your life that need a little work.\\nLearning to get outside your comfort zone has other benefits, too. For example, taking (reasonable, controlled) risks makes it easier to accept that vulnerability and the unexpected are just facts of life. Once you accept this, it’s much easier to handle the next unexpected thing that comes up.\\nThis doesn’t mean you should take up extreme sports with no training, or decide to move to a foreign country without any knowledge of its culture or language. Start with smaller challenges and work your way up.\\nThink of this as much-deserved freedom. You can go to school, live somewhere else, or finally get that kitten you wanted. You can spend your Friday nights in that art class you've always wanted to take. If there’s a dream you always wanted to pursue, now is the time.\\n4-5. Give it time.\\nYou are heartbroken now, but you won’t be heartbroken later. It sounds cliche, but it’s cliche for a good reason -- time really does heal your wounds. You need time to get perspective on things. While it may be uncomfortable now to think of this person as a memory, later on s/he can be a memory you’re quite fond of and glad happened. People don't fade automatically, so don't be hard on yourself if the grieving process doesn't seem to go away. That's natural. But have faith that it will.\\nThe thing is that when it does pass, you won't really realize it. You'll wake up one day and realize that you haven't thought about this person for weeks. It happens slowly and under the radar. So just when you think nothing's happening, bam. It does. It always does.\\nTips\\nMake a playlist of songs that inspire you. Include songs that make you feel confident and strong! When you start feeling lost or alone, start this playlist to get your focus back.\\nRemember to enjoy your life. It's good to move on and embrace who you are as an individual. Take this time to spend even more time with the people who really matter: Your family and your close friends.\\nLay back and relax! Listening some nice music to keep your mind off it.\\nWarnings\\nRemaining \\\"just friends\\\" is a big no-no if you are still romantically attached. Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute \\\"get your ex back\\\" manuals start with this first simple step: take a break. It should be a long break, like a year or two. It's not emotionally safe to resume the friendship until you've stopped feeling romantic about your former partner completely – till you feel happy about it if they're dating someone else.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We've all been there. The break-up is raw, and a jumble of emotions are still raging. Being strong will be difficult initially, and that's when you should allow yourself to feel the grief. But soon you'll start to feel time healing the wounds, and you'll be better than ever, and stronger than ever, too.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Coping with the Grief\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept that the pain is normal.\", \"描述\": \"As an old song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.” Scientists have even shown that romantic rejection activates the same pathways in the brain that physical pain does. It hurts when you break up with someone, and it’s completely natural to feel upset about it.\\nSome psychologists estimate that about 98% of us have experienced some form of unrequited love, whether it’s an unreturned crush or a nasty breakup. Knowing that you’re not alone probably won’t heal your broken heart, but it could make the pain easier to bear.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let it out.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t pretend you’re fine. Denying or minimizing your emotions -- like telling yourself “I’m really fine” or “It’s no big deal” -- will actually make them worse in the long run. You have to process how you’re feeling so you can move past it.\\nCry your eyes out if you feel like it. Crying can actually be therapeutic when you’re upset. It can reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and anger. So go ahead, grab some tissues and wail your heart out if it helps.\\nExpress your emotions through creative pursuits, like art or music. Write a song about how you feel, or play a track that comforts you. Draw a picture of your emotional state. The only thing here is to stay away from things that are too sad or angry (think death metal). These may actually increase your feelings of sadness and anger.\\nIt’s tempting to let your grief out by punching or breaking things, screaming, or shouting, but avoid this impulse if you can. Studies show that using violence to express your anger, even if it’s toward an inanimate object like a pillow, can actually make you feel more angry. To express your anger in a healthy way, try talking about your feelings to yourself or to someone you love.\\nThis will be easier with a family member or friend you trust. Find someone who has a shoulder you're comfortable crying on and let loose. They've likely cried on your shoulder at some point. Now all they're doing is returning the favor.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write about your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Expressing how you feel, rather than bottling it all up or trying to ignore it, will help you accept that you’re in pain now, but it won’t always be this way. Writing about your feelings openly and honestly can help you understand them. The first step to coping with post-breakup loneliness is taking some time for introspection and reflection.\\nTake 20 minutes a day for three days to let loose and write about your deepest thoughts and feelings about this relationship. Reflect on your experience while you were in the relationship, how you feel in the aftermath of the breakup, or what your worries are now that you’re not in a relationship anymore.\\nCommon reasons for breakups include a lack of independence, a lack of openness, or missing that “magic” feeling.\\nDon’t worry about grammar or spelling when you write. You’re writing just for you, to express your feelings and thoughts.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Examine your writing.\", \"描述\": \"Writing your emotion journal is the first step. The next is to look back at what you’ve written and try to figure out why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. Thinking through your emotions will help you understand them better, and can also help you catch any distortions that might be unfair to yourself.\\nFor example, a very common fear after a breakup is that we’re undesirable, even unlovable. It can be easy to feel like you’ll never find anyone who wants you again. This is a natural reaction, but you shouldn’t convince yourself it’s true. Try looking for the evidence that plenty of people do love you, even if that one person you wanted most to love you doesn’t (or can’t in the way you wanted).\\nLook for global, internal, and irreversible statements in your journal. Research shows that these types of thought can lead to depression after a breakup and can make it harder to move on.\\nFor example, a global statement might look like “This breakup is going to ruin my life.” It probably does feel that way sometimes, but it’s probably not as true as it feels. Try rephrasing this as a limited statement: “This breakup hurts right now, but it’s only one part of my life.”\\nAn internal statement blames yourself: “This is all my fault” or “If only I’d done things differently, we wouldn’t have broken up.” Remember that relationships involve two people. The chances of anything being 100% one person’s fault are very slim. And in general, breakups happen because of incompatibilities, not because one person is “bad” or “wrong.” Try telling yourself something like: “This relationship didn’t end up working out because we just weren’t suited for each other. People are different and have different needs. It’s okay.”\\nAn irreversible statement is, well, irreversible: “I’m never going to get over him/her” or “I’m never going to not feel this way.” Remind yourself that all feelings are temporary. People change. Hearts mend. Try telling yourself: “I am in pain right now, and that’s all right. It won’t last forever.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Repeat positive self-affirmations to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Breakups can really do a number on your self-confidence. Showing yourself a little daily kindness can remind you that you are an awesome person with a lot to offer the right person. The next time negative thoughts about your breakup show up -- and they probably will, at least for a while -- challenge them with one of these helpful affirmations:\\nI am worth love and care, and there are people who recognize that\\nI’m upset right now, but it won’t last forever\\nPart of my pain is caused by brain chemistry, which I can’t control\\nMy thoughts and feelings are not facts\\nI love and honor myself\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"List your positive attributes.\", \"描述\": \"Breakups can cause you to doubt your self-worth. It’s important to remind yourself of all the good things about you. Studies show that when you remind yourself that you’re worth loving, you handle rejection better. Make a list of the cool, great, interesting things about yourself. When you’re feeling down, whip out that list and remind yourself that you’re a remarkable person.\\nThink about things you can do (especially if they don’t involve the person you just broke up with). Do you skydive, paint, write music, dance? Do you enjoy long walks or cooking a great meal? List your skills and remind yourself that you’re strong and capable.\\nThink about the things you like about yourself. Do you have a killer smile? A fantastic fashion sense? Remind yourself that you have plenty to offer -- and that the only opinion that really matters is your own.\\nThink about positive things others have told you about yourself. Do your friends tell you how supportive you are? Are you the life of the party? Are you the caring person who gives up your seat on the subway or bus? Remind yourself that others see your value, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get support.\", \"描述\": \"When you break up with someone, it’s natural to feel isolated or disconnected. Reaching out to friends and loved ones will help you cope with these feelings and remind you that you have plenty of love in your life.\\nTalk with your friends. Share your feelings with them. Ask them about their own breakup experiences. They can offer you support and advice.\\nIf your friends offer you feedback or advice, try to be open and listen to them. You don’t have to take their advice, but accept the spirit in which it’s offered. If you notice that over time they become reluctant to talk to you about the breakup, you may be dwelling on it too much. Remember to ask your friends about their own lives, too.\\nSometimes, friends and loved ones may go too far. They may try to control your decisions or “fix” your problems for you. They may turn to bad-mouthing your ex, which isn’t always what you need. If your loved ones’ support is starting to go beyond helpful advice and conversation, show your appreciation for their support and let them know you can handle this on your own. For example, if a friend offers to give your ex a “piece of her mind,” you could say, “I really appreciate that you want to stand up for me, but I can handle this. Please don’t do that.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Strong\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cut off ties with your ex.\", \"描述\": \"When you two broke up, it likely happened for a reason. Not contacting your ex is an important step in healing from a breakup. You may feel desperate to contact your ex, especially in the beginning, but remind yourself of the reasons you broke up. Stay strong and stay away from that phone!\\nRomantic love stimulates dopamine pathways in the brain, making you feel “rewarded” for your emotions. When you break up, your brain treats it the same way as it treats a drug addiction. No matter how hard it feels, don’t give in to the craving, or you’ll never kick it.\\nDon’t call or text your ex. If you need to, delete his or her number from your phone and contacts. Don’t email or send messages on social media.\\nCyberstalking is a real thing. Don’t look up your ex on Facebook or Instagram. You’ll only concentrate on the pictures of him or her being happy and having a good time. You’ll keep looking for clues and memories, keeping you from feeling better. If you have to, block your ex on your pages so you’re not tempted.\\nDon’t “vaguebook” (post vague statuses on social media) in a bid for attention. Focusing on the past will only keep you from moving toward your future.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get rid of mementos.\", \"描述\": \"Holding on to treasured gifts from your ex or photos of the two of you will hold you back from healing and moving on. You may even find that having them around triggers feelings of sadness, loneliness, or anger.\\nDelete photos of your ex from social media accounts (or at least crop him or her out of the photos).\\nResist the urge to do things that you used to do together, like listen to “your song” or visit your favorite date spot. These things will keep you focused on the relationship you don’t have anymore, instead of allowing you to go out and form new relationships (and strengthen existing ones).\\nMemories aren’t always triggered by things. Even sounds and scents can trigger a memory or emotion. If this happens, don’t try to ignore or deny it. Acknowledge the feeling: “Oh, that smell reminds me of our pizza date nights. I miss those.” And then move on.\\nIf you have things that seem too nice to throw out, consider donating them to a charity or thrift store. You’ll be able to let go of that t-shirt/coffee mug/teddy bear, and you’ll be making a positive difference in someone else’s life, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Play nice.\", \"描述\": \"It’s too easy to go out and slash your ex’s tires, key his or her car, or egg his or her house. You could spread rumors about him or her and start the gossip mill going, but don’t. This behavior will only keep you locked in the past instead of focusing on how you’re going to move past the breakup. It may even lose you some friends.\\nAbout half of people admit to stalking their ex in some way after a breakup, from making unwanted phone calls to threatening or even vandalizing an ex’s property. Carrie Underwood may make it sound like fun revenge, but this type of behavior just makes it harder to recover from the breakup.\\nStalking and destructive behavior is also illegal. Is your ex worth an arrest record? Didn’t think so.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid rash decisions.\", \"描述\": \"After a breakup, it’s common to want to get your hair cut or dyed or get a tattoo. This helps us feel like we're changing our identities and that we can be a whole new person, a person that didn’t have this relationship. Remember that your brain chemistry is altered during a breakup, and your judgment is more than likely impaired right now.\\nLet some time pass. If after a few months you still really want that tattoo because it symbolizes something important, go for it then.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep yourself busy.\", \"描述\": \"Distraction is only a temporary cure, but it can really help take your mind off the pain from your breakup. Keeping yourself busy with things you enjoy, especially if they’re new and exciting, will help you realize that your life isn’t over after all.\\nRead that book series you’ve been meaning to get around to but never have. Join a book club so you can talk about it with others!\\nTake a class, learn a new skill, pick up a new hobby. Learning new skills will remind you that you’re capable of growth and achievement.\\nCall up people you’ve been meaning to chat with for months and haven’t. Remind yourself that you’re surrounded by people who love and support you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise is a good way to vent your frustration and pain. It releases endorphins, those chemicals in your brain that make you happy. Regular moderate exercise can help you fight off anxiety and depression, too. Aim for 30 minutes a day to feel that rush.\\nIf you think your schedule doesn't allow it, think again. Look into high-intensity interval training where you only need to work out in small, 15-minute chunks. Alternatively, do a bit in the morning and then at night. It doesn't have to be all at once.\\nMake less noticeable efforts, too, like parking far away from the entrance of where you're going or washing the car by hand.\\nJust don’t approach exercise as a way to “fix” yourself. This is an unhealthy way of approaching it, and can lead to body image distortions and other mental health issues. Exercise because it’s good for your body and mind, not because you feel you “need” to in order to be desirable to others.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learning to Thrive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have fun.\", \"描述\": \"This may seem next to impossible, especially if you’re still raw after a breakup. However, having fun is great medicine for your brain. It reduces feelings of anger and increases your feelings of positivity. So go out with friends. See a movie. Go disco dancing. Sing karaoke. Do things you enjoy and let loose a little. You’ll feel better for it.\\nLaughter, it turns out, really is the best medicine. It releases endorphins, which are your body’s natural mood elevators. Laughter even increases your body’s ability to tolerate pain.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself.\", \"描述\": \"“Retail therapy” can actually be good for you, if it’s done wisely. Research shows that when you go shopping after rejection, you tend to envision how your purchases will fit into your new lifestyle. Buying an outfit that boosts your self-confidence or replacing a piece of your ex’s furniture that isn’t your style can help you mend.\\nJust remember: don’t use spending to mask your pain. Don’t go overboard with your credit card, either, or you’ll end up stressed out when the bills come in. Allow yourself just a few treats.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get engaged with your community.\", \"描述\": \"Taking the focus off of yourself can help you avoid rumination, that “broken record loop” where the only thing you can think about is how much things suck. Studies show that showing kindness and compassion to others can boost your own mood and create a “ripple effect” of compassion in those around you. So go out there. Make yourself a better member of a better community.\\nVolunteering is a great way to get involved. Check with your church, school, or local volunteer organizations to see how you can make a difference.\\nServing or giving to other people can also give you a sense of purpose. Studies have shown that when you make contributions to a cause you believe in -- especially if it’s in person -- you’re likely to feel like you’re making a difference in the world.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on being positive\", \"描述\": \"Just because they broke up with you or doesn't want you back doesn't mean that you're worthless. There are plenty of other people who want you and would be willing to treat you even better than your ex. Find things that make you smile and laugh. Surround yourself with friends and people who care. You’ll feel better.\\nHappiness breeds success, after all. The happier you are, the more positivity you'll cultivate around you, leading to bigger and better things.\\nHumans are really susceptible to “emotional contagion,” or picking up on others’ feelings and moods. If you surround yourself with positive people, you’re way more likely to feel positive yourself. On the flip side, if you surround yourself with people who are negative and bitter, you’re likely to feel that way.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Moving On\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Forgive\", \"描述\": \"After the initial phase of shock and grief has passed, you’ll find yourself in a place where you can let things go and remain cool. When you forgive your ex for everything that happened, the forgetting can start. That’s okay; it’s the natural cycle. Remember: forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not the other person.\\nOne way to forgive someone is to start by remembering what it is you want to forgive. Recall how it made you feel. Notice your thoughts about yourself and about your ex.\\nReflect on this experience. What can you learn from it? Perhaps there are things you would do differently. Perhaps there are things you hope the other person would do differently. What will you look for in the future? How will you use this experience to grow?\\nRemember that forgiveness isn’t an excuse for bad behavior. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to reconcile with that person, or that you’re saying s/he was “right” to do what s/he did. It means letting go of the burden of anger. Forgiveness makes you free.\\nRemind yourself that you cannot control how others act. The only thing you can control is your own actions and responses.\\nTell yourself that you forgive the other person for his or her mistakes. And remember that it can take some time for you to fully feel forgiveness -- that’s okay.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reflect a little, then think forward.\", \"描述\": \"Right now it’s likely that you’re dwelling on the past. Why is that? You can’t change it. It won’t do \\\"future you\\\" any good. What if you thought about the future? That would definitely make thinking positive much, much easier. Spend a little time reflecting on what you’ve learned from the situation, and then take some time to plan for the future.\\nUse this time to consider what you can learn from this relationship to take into the future. What will you do differently? Make a list of things you learned didn't work in the relationship and things that did work. Then write down the attributes you would like your new partner to have, what type of person he or she is, physical attributes, characteristics, and so on.\\nConsider whether you can see a pattern in your past relationships. Sometimes, people repeatedly fall for people who just aren’t good for them. This can happen for a variety of reasons, including how you interacted with your parents as a child. Examine whether you seem to have a “type” that just doesn’t seem to be working out for you. Think about how you can break this unhelpful pattern next time.\\nTreat this as a learning experience. Breakups hurt. They suck. But they can also make you a stronger, more confident, more compassionate person, if you let them. Look for things you can learn about yourself and your needs. What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t before?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find who you really are.\", \"描述\": \"In a serious relationship, we often become half of the other person instead of a full and unique version of ourselves. This is often why breakups are so hard. But once you’re set free, you can find yourself again. You can spend time doing what you love, unhindered by anyone else’ opinion or constraints. Take some time to figure out what you value and who you want to be.\\nWhen you were in this relationship, you probably made compromises. Now's the time not to make compromises and to listen to you. Have anchovies on your pizza if you like them. Sleep in on weekends if your ex was an early riser who always had plans. Wear favorite clothing your ex didn't like. Hang the art or posters your ex didn't like. Listen to the music your ex didn't like. All these are ways of regaining yourself, rebuilding your sense of self as a separate individual rather than half of the couple\\nWhat fell by the wayside when this relationship started? A friendship? A hobby? What time got taken from another aspect of your life and given to focus on this person? Think back about what you gave up. Is it still there waiting for you? Odds are, probably.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Push yourself out of your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy to stay inside our comfort zones because, well, it’s comfortable. However, it’s hard to really thrive without challenges. Take this opportunity to try new things and take risks you might not otherwise do.\\nToo much comfort kills your motivation. Since you’re probably already feeling a little uncomfortable after this breakup, use this uncertainty to your benefit! Use it to transform the areas in your life that need a little work.\\nLearning to get outside your comfort zone has other benefits, too. For example, taking (reasonable, controlled) risks makes it easier to accept that vulnerability and the unexpected are just facts of life. Once you accept this, it’s much easier to handle the next unexpected thing that comes up.\\nThis doesn’t mean you should take up extreme sports with no training, or decide to move to a foreign country without any knowledge of its culture or language. Start with smaller challenges and work your way up.\\nThink of this as much-deserved freedom. You can go to school, live somewhere else, or finally get that kitten you wanted. You can spend your Friday nights in that art class you've always wanted to take. If there’s a dream you always wanted to pursue, now is the time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give it time.\", \"描述\": \"You are heartbroken now, but you won’t be heartbroken later. It sounds cliche, but it’s cliche for a good reason -- time really does heal your wounds. You need time to get perspective on things. While it may be uncomfortable now to think of this person as a memory, later on s/he can be a memory you’re quite fond of and glad happened. People don't fade automatically, so don't be hard on yourself if the grieving process doesn't seem to go away. That's natural. But have faith that it will.\\nThe thing is that when it does pass, you won't really realize it. You'll wake up one day and realize that you haven't thought about this person for weeks. It happens slowly and under the radar. So just when you think nothing's happening, bam. It does. It always does.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make a playlist of songs that inspire you. Include songs that make you feel confident and strong! When you start feeling lost or alone, start this playlist to get your focus back.\\n\", \"Remember to enjoy your life. It's good to move on and embrace who you are as an individual. Take this time to spend even more time with the people who really matter: Your family and your close friends.\\n\", \"Lay back and relax! Listening some nice music to keep your mind off it.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Remaining \\\"just friends\\\" is a big no-no if you are still romantically attached. Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute \\\"get your ex back\\\" manuals start with this first simple step: take a break. It should be a long break, like a year or two. It's not emotionally safe to resume the friendship until you've stopped feeling romantic about your former partner completely – till you feel happy about it if they're dating someone else.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,188 | How to Be Strong As a Girl | 1. Building Physical Strength
1-1. Eat from all food groups and stay hydrated.
Protein (meat, fish, eggs, nuts, tofu) will help you build muscle mass. Fruits and vegetables will give you the vitamins and minerals you need to stay strong and capable. Fats and desserts also matter for brain and cellular health. Keep a glass of water at your desk, as well as having something to drink with each meal.
1-2. Get at least 8 hours of sleep.
Your body needs sleep in order to recharge and grow strong. If you wear yourself out, you won't be able to perform well the next day.
1-3. Take breaks from computer time.
Even a two-minute break to stretch your legs is good for your health. Go get a glass of water or some food, take a bathroom break, or hang out with one of your siblings for a little. This will be easier on your eyes, muscles, and mind.
1-4. Find a form of exercise you enjoy.
Exercise will build muscles, as well as supporting your emotional strength. Do you like to hike, run, walk, swim, or jog? Do you prefer to exercise by yourself, or with friends or family?
1-5. Do strength training.
You don't have to lift weights (although this can really help you get stronger). You can use your body weight. Do pull-ups, chin-ups, muscle-ups, push-ups, etc. Increase your reps as you get stronger. Always challenge yourself and push yourself to the limit, but make sure you stretch before to avoid getting hurt.
1-6. Play sports.
Any sports, any exercise that works your muscles, will make you stronger over time. Soccer, basketball, swimming, gymnastics, and rock climbing are all good ways to build muscle. Taking gymnastics will improve your physical strength, flexibility, stability, and much more. Only play sports that you find fun and you like.
If you don't enjoy group sports, try shooting hoops by yourself or setting and breaking personal goals.
Backyard sports can be fun too! Try playing sports informally with friends or family members. You don't have to keep score if you don't want to.
1-7. Be careful not to overwork yourself.
Stretch and warm up before doing sports, and take a minute or two afterwards to cool down by walking or stretching some more. Strength is built up over time, and it's important to respect your body's limits.
2. Building Mental Strength
2-1. Pay attention in school, and do your best.
Doing well is about more than talent—it's most important to be a hard worker. Practice studying and working hard at school, and you will grow way ahead as you get older.
2-2. Experiment.
You have many years of life ahead of you, and now is a great time to try new ideas. Pick up a book about toy robots, learn to jet ski, make up a cookie recipe, or try out your hand at writing stories. Find out which ideas stick and which ones don't.
2-3. Read often.
Fiction books are fun and insightful, and you can also read nonfiction to learn facts about things you love. Try a variety of genres and figure out which ones you love best. Specialize in your favorite areas, and also read something else every once in a while just to shake things up.
If you want to be inspired, read books about female doctors, lawyers, inventors, artists, musicians, political figures, and rocket scientists. You'll see that women can do great things!
2-4. Foster a love of learning.
Curiosity and love of knowledge are important traits in a young woman. Find what subject matters you truly enjoy, check out books from the library, and investigate new ideas.
Investigate side areas you love outside of school. Are you interested in robotics, feminism, oil paints, molecular science?
2-5. Ask others for their ideas.
Everyone has different thoughts and opinions, and you can develop more nuanced ideas by listening to other perspectives.
Ask your dad to edit your short story.
Listen to people who have conflicting opinions. Why do they disagree? What are your thoughts on the issue?
Ask your sister to explain her science project to you.
Get reading suggestions from a teacher.
3. Building Emotional Strength
3-1. Embrace who you are.
Your identity is important, and you don't have to fight it. It's okay to be tall, chubby, artistic, disabled, geeky, introverted, and whatever else you are. You have your own unique style and personality, and your traits don't make you inferior to anyone else.
3-2. Take time to understand your emotions.
Your feelings are important, and it's good to recognize them and find healthy ways to channel them. It's normal to experience a range of emotions, and learning to deal with them is an important part of growing up.
If you are angry, try taking a walk, getting exercise, reading, or taking some quiet time to calm down.
If you're sad, spend time with a pet or loved one, take good care of your body, and talk to someone about how you're feeling.
If you're scared or worried, do something about the thing that scares you (e.g. making an action plan), take some deep breaths, or tell an adult how you feel.
3-3. Take time to relax every day.
Relaxation is an important part of feeling healthy and balanced, and it'll allow you to stay calm when problems come your way. Do your hobbies, read a fun book, go for a walk, take a relaxing bath, or spend time with someone you love.
3-4. Break big problems into little pieces.
Sometimes tasks feel overwhelming, to the point that it's difficult to start. When this happens, you can write down the steps you'll need to take, and only do one at a time. For example, if you have to write an essay, write one paragraph now, and then go play with your dog.
Taking breaks is an important life skill! It will help keep you from feeling overwhelmed, and you will be able to focus better when you sit down again.
Write out a schedule if it helps.
3-5. Learn to ask for help.
Part of being strong is recognizing when something is too big for you to face alone. You might want to ask an adult for advice, or get help in solving whatever problem you're facing. Sometimes, you might just need a hug and a listening ear. Recognizing that you need help, and going to ask for it, is a sign of bravery.
3-6. Recognize that you don't have to be stoic all the time.
It's okay to have bad days, and it's okay to be vulnerable. Your strength isn't determined by whether you cry or not—it's about how you bounce back from problems. Plenty of strong people ask for help and need to lean on other people sometimes.
3-7. Don't listen to bullies.
You will find people who dislike you for no good reason, and who like to insult you or try to get in your way. You don't need to listen to them. Being polite is good, but you don't have to stand around putting up with a mean person just for the sake of manners.
Say "please stop" or "I'm busy" if someone won't leave you alone.
If you're being insulted, pretend not to have heard them, or say "I'm okay, you're mean." This takes all the fun out of it for the bullies.
Tell an adult if handling it yourself doesn't work, or if you don't know what to do.
3-8. Build strong relationships.
Think of people you can talk to when you're having a bad day—parents, friends, siblings, and other people in your life. Take time for those who are important to you.
3-9. Spend time with people who make you feel better about yourself and the world.
Look for friends who are positive, kind, and respectful of other people. These friends can lift you up, and help you feel and be your best.
3-10. Practice kindness.
Give sincere compliments, use good manners, help people in need, and reach out to other people who look friendly. An attitude of kindness will draw people to you and help make life easier for you.
3-11. Recognize your own power.
Refuse to let negative stereotypes hold you back. Tell yourself that you can. Practice power posing, recognize that you're skilled, and work on building your own confidence. You are stronger than you know.
Try saying an affirmation to yourself in the mirror each morning, like, "I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I can do great things."
Warnings
Benching, weightlifting, powerlifting, etc. are all good ways to get stronger.
Be relaxed and try not to worry about things too much, sometimes it's good to stay alone in a peaceful place and just let your stress go.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Building Physical Strength\\n1-1. Eat from all food groups and stay hydrated.\\nProtein (meat, fish, eggs, nuts, tofu) will help you build muscle mass. Fruits and vegetables will give you the vitamins and minerals you need to stay strong and capable. Fats and desserts also matter for brain and cellular health. Keep a glass of water at your desk, as well as having something to drink with each meal.\\n1-2. Get at least 8 hours of sleep.\\nYour body needs sleep in order to recharge and grow strong. If you wear yourself out, you won't be able to perform well the next day.\\n1-3. Take breaks from computer time.\\nEven a two-minute break to stretch your legs is good for your health. Go get a glass of water or some food, take a bathroom break, or hang out with one of your siblings for a little. This will be easier on your eyes, muscles, and mind.\\n1-4. Find a form of exercise you enjoy.\\nExercise will build muscles, as well as supporting your emotional strength. Do you like to hike, run, walk, swim, or jog? Do you prefer to exercise by yourself, or with friends or family?\\n1-5. Do strength training.\\nYou don't have to lift weights (although this can really help you get stronger). You can use your body weight. Do pull-ups, chin-ups, muscle-ups, push-ups, etc. Increase your reps as you get stronger. Always challenge yourself and push yourself to the limit, but make sure you stretch before to avoid getting hurt.\\n1-6. Play sports.\\nAny sports, any exercise that works your muscles, will make you stronger over time. Soccer, basketball, swimming, gymnastics, and rock climbing are all good ways to build muscle. Taking gymnastics will improve your physical strength, flexibility, stability, and much more. Only play sports that you find fun and you like. \\nIf you don't enjoy group sports, try shooting hoops by yourself or setting and breaking personal goals.\\nBackyard sports can be fun too! Try playing sports informally with friends or family members. You don't have to keep score if you don't want to.\\n1-7. Be careful not to overwork yourself.\\nStretch and warm up before doing sports, and take a minute or two afterwards to cool down by walking or stretching some more. Strength is built up over time, and it's important to respect your body's limits.\\n2. Building Mental Strength\\n2-1. Pay attention in school, and do your best.\\nDoing well is about more than talent—it's most important to be a hard worker. Practice studying and working hard at school, and you will grow way ahead as you get older.\\n2-2. Experiment.\\nYou have many years of life ahead of you, and now is a great time to try new ideas. Pick up a book about toy robots, learn to jet ski, make up a cookie recipe, or try out your hand at writing stories. Find out which ideas stick and which ones don't.\\n2-3. Read often.\\nFiction books are fun and insightful, and you can also read nonfiction to learn facts about things you love. Try a variety of genres and figure out which ones you love best. Specialize in your favorite areas, and also read something else every once in a while just to shake things up. \\nIf you want to be inspired, read books about female doctors, lawyers, inventors, artists, musicians, political figures, and rocket scientists. You'll see that women can do great things!\\n2-4. Foster a love of learning.\\nCuriosity and love of knowledge are important traits in a young woman. Find what subject matters you truly enjoy, check out books from the library, and investigate new ideas. \\nInvestigate side areas you love outside of school. Are you interested in robotics, feminism, oil paints, molecular science?\\n2-5. Ask others for their ideas.\\nEveryone has different thoughts and opinions, and you can develop more nuanced ideas by listening to other perspectives. \\nAsk your dad to edit your short story.\\nListen to people who have conflicting opinions. Why do they disagree? What are your thoughts on the issue?\\nAsk your sister to explain her science project to you.\\nGet reading suggestions from a teacher.\\n3. Building Emotional Strength\\n3-1. Embrace who you are.\\nYour identity is important, and you don't have to fight it. It's okay to be tall, chubby, artistic, disabled, geeky, introverted, and whatever else you are. You have your own unique style and personality, and your traits don't make you inferior to anyone else.\\n3-2. Take time to understand your emotions.\\nYour feelings are important, and it's good to recognize them and find healthy ways to channel them. It's normal to experience a range of emotions, and learning to deal with them is an important part of growing up. \\nIf you are angry, try taking a walk, getting exercise, reading, or taking some quiet time to calm down.\\nIf you're sad, spend time with a pet or loved one, take good care of your body, and talk to someone about how you're feeling.\\nIf you're scared or worried, do something about the thing that scares you (e.g. making an action plan), take some deep breaths, or tell an adult how you feel.\\n3-3. Take time to relax every day.\\nRelaxation is an important part of feeling healthy and balanced, and it'll allow you to stay calm when problems come your way. Do your hobbies, read a fun book, go for a walk, take a relaxing bath, or spend time with someone you love.\\n3-4. Break big problems into little pieces.\\nSometimes tasks feel overwhelming, to the point that it's difficult to start. When this happens, you can write down the steps you'll need to take, and only do one at a time. For example, if you have to write an essay, write one paragraph now, and then go play with your dog. \\nTaking breaks is an important life skill! It will help keep you from feeling overwhelmed, and you will be able to focus better when you sit down again.\\nWrite out a schedule if it helps.\\n3-5. Learn to ask for help.\\nPart of being strong is recognizing when something is too big for you to face alone. You might want to ask an adult for advice, or get help in solving whatever problem you're facing. Sometimes, you might just need a hug and a listening ear. Recognizing that you need help, and going to ask for it, is a sign of bravery.\\n3-6. Recognize that you don't have to be stoic all the time.\\nIt's okay to have bad days, and it's okay to be vulnerable. Your strength isn't determined by whether you cry or not—it's about how you bounce back from problems. Plenty of strong people ask for help and need to lean on other people sometimes.\\n3-7. Don't listen to bullies.\\nYou will find people who dislike you for no good reason, and who like to insult you or try to get in your way. You don't need to listen to them. Being polite is good, but you don't have to stand around putting up with a mean person just for the sake of manners. \\nSay \\\"please stop\\\" or \\\"I'm busy\\\" if someone won't leave you alone.\\nIf you're being insulted, pretend not to have heard them, or say \\\"I'm okay, you're mean.\\\" This takes all the fun out of it for the bullies.\\nTell an adult if handling it yourself doesn't work, or if you don't know what to do.\\n3-8. Build strong relationships.\\nThink of people you can talk to when you're having a bad day—parents, friends, siblings, and other people in your life. Take time for those who are important to you.\\n3-9. Spend time with people who make you feel better about yourself and the world.\\nLook for friends who are positive, kind, and respectful of other people. These friends can lift you up, and help you feel and be your best.\\n3-10. Practice kindness.\\nGive sincere compliments, use good manners, help people in need, and reach out to other people who look friendly. An attitude of kindness will draw people to you and help make life easier for you.\\n3-11. Recognize your own power.\\nRefuse to let negative stereotypes hold you back. Tell yourself that you can. Practice power posing, recognize that you're skilled, and work on building your own confidence. You are stronger than you know. \\nTry saying an affirmation to yourself in the mirror each morning, like, \\\"I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I can do great things.\\\"\\nWarnings\\nBenching, weightlifting, powerlifting, etc. are all good ways to get stronger.\\nBe relaxed and try not to worry about things too much, sometimes it's good to stay alone in a peaceful place and just let your stress go.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A strong girl is brave, adventurous, and powerful. She is confident, willing to try new things, and persistent in learning new skills.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building Physical Strength\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat from all food groups and stay hydrated.\", \"描述\": \"Protein (meat, fish, eggs, nuts, tofu) will help you build muscle mass. Fruits and vegetables will give you the vitamins and minerals you need to stay strong and capable. Fats and desserts also matter for brain and cellular health. Keep a glass of water at your desk, as well as having something to drink with each meal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get at least 8 hours of sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Your body needs sleep in order to recharge and grow strong. If you wear yourself out, you won't be able to perform well the next day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take breaks from computer time.\", \"描述\": \"Even a two-minute break to stretch your legs is good for your health. Go get a glass of water or some food, take a bathroom break, or hang out with one of your siblings for a little. This will be easier on your eyes, muscles, and mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find a form of exercise you enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise will build muscles, as well as supporting your emotional strength. Do you like to hike, run, walk, swim, or jog? Do you prefer to exercise by yourself, or with friends or family?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do strength training.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to lift weights (although this can really help you get stronger). You can use your body weight. Do pull-ups, chin-ups, muscle-ups, push-ups, etc. Increase your reps as you get stronger. Always challenge yourself and push yourself to the limit, but make sure you stretch before to avoid getting hurt.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Play sports.\", \"描述\": \"Any sports, any exercise that works your muscles, will make you stronger over time. Soccer, basketball, swimming, gymnastics, and rock climbing are all good ways to build muscle. Taking gymnastics will improve your physical strength, flexibility, stability, and much more. Only play sports that you find fun and you like. \\nIf you don't enjoy group sports, try shooting hoops by yourself or setting and breaking personal goals.\\nBackyard sports can be fun too! Try playing sports informally with friends or family members. You don't have to keep score if you don't want to.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be careful not to overwork yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Stretch and warm up before doing sports, and take a minute or two afterwards to cool down by walking or stretching some more. Strength is built up over time, and it's important to respect your body's limits.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building Mental Strength\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention in school, and do your best.\", \"描述\": \"Doing well is about more than talent—it's most important to be a hard worker. Practice studying and working hard at school, and you will grow way ahead as you get older.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Experiment.\", \"描述\": \"You have many years of life ahead of you, and now is a great time to try new ideas. Pick up a book about toy robots, learn to jet ski, make up a cookie recipe, or try out your hand at writing stories. Find out which ideas stick and which ones don't.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read often.\", \"描述\": \"Fiction books are fun and insightful, and you can also read nonfiction to learn facts about things you love. Try a variety of genres and figure out which ones you love best. Specialize in your favorite areas, and also read something else every once in a while just to shake things up. \\nIf you want to be inspired, read books about female doctors, lawyers, inventors, artists, musicians, political figures, and rocket scientists. You'll see that women can do great things!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Foster a love of learning.\", \"描述\": \"Curiosity and love of knowledge are important traits in a young woman. Find what subject matters you truly enjoy, check out books from the library, and investigate new ideas. \\nInvestigate side areas you love outside of school. Are you interested in robotics, feminism, oil paints, molecular science?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask others for their ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has different thoughts and opinions, and you can develop more nuanced ideas by listening to other perspectives. \\nAsk your dad to edit your short story.\\nListen to people who have conflicting opinions. Why do they disagree? What are your thoughts on the issue?\\nAsk your sister to explain her science project to you.\\nGet reading suggestions from a teacher.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building Emotional Strength\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embrace who you are.\", \"描述\": \"Your identity is important, and you don't have to fight it. It's okay to be tall, chubby, artistic, disabled, geeky, introverted, and whatever else you are. You have your own unique style and personality, and your traits don't make you inferior to anyone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take time to understand your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Your feelings are important, and it's good to recognize them and find healthy ways to channel them. It's normal to experience a range of emotions, and learning to deal with them is an important part of growing up. \\nIf you are angry, try taking a walk, getting exercise, reading, or taking some quiet time to calm down.\\nIf you're sad, spend time with a pet or loved one, take good care of your body, and talk to someone about how you're feeling.\\nIf you're scared or worried, do something about the thing that scares you (e.g. making an action plan), take some deep breaths, or tell an adult how you feel.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take time to relax every day.\", \"描述\": \"Relaxation is an important part of feeling healthy and balanced, and it'll allow you to stay calm when problems come your way. Do your hobbies, read a fun book, go for a walk, take a relaxing bath, or spend time with someone you love.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Break big problems into little pieces.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes tasks feel overwhelming, to the point that it's difficult to start. When this happens, you can write down the steps you'll need to take, and only do one at a time. For example, if you have to write an essay, write one paragraph now, and then go play with your dog. \\nTaking breaks is an important life skill! It will help keep you from feeling overwhelmed, and you will be able to focus better when you sit down again.\\nWrite out a schedule if it helps.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to ask for help.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being strong is recognizing when something is too big for you to face alone. You might want to ask an adult for advice, or get help in solving whatever problem you're facing. Sometimes, you might just need a hug and a listening ear. Recognizing that you need help, and going to ask for it, is a sign of bravery.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Recognize that you don't have to be stoic all the time.\", \"描述\": \"It's okay to have bad days, and it's okay to be vulnerable. Your strength isn't determined by whether you cry or not—it's about how you bounce back from problems. Plenty of strong people ask for help and need to lean on other people sometimes.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't listen to bullies.\", \"描述\": \"You will find people who dislike you for no good reason, and who like to insult you or try to get in your way. You don't need to listen to them. Being polite is good, but you don't have to stand around putting up with a mean person just for the sake of manners. \\nSay \\\"please stop\\\" or \\\"I'm busy\\\" if someone won't leave you alone.\\nIf you're being insulted, pretend not to have heard them, or say \\\"I'm okay, you're mean.\\\" This takes all the fun out of it for the bullies.\\nTell an adult if handling it yourself doesn't work, or if you don't know what to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Build strong relationships.\", \"描述\": \"Think of people you can talk to when you're having a bad day—parents, friends, siblings, and other people in your life. Take time for those who are important to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people who make you feel better about yourself and the world.\", \"描述\": \"Look for friends who are positive, kind, and respectful of other people. These friends can lift you up, and help you feel and be your best.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Practice kindness.\", \"描述\": \"Give sincere compliments, use good manners, help people in need, and reach out to other people who look friendly. An attitude of kindness will draw people to you and help make life easier for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Recognize your own power.\", \"描述\": \"Refuse to let negative stereotypes hold you back. Tell yourself that you can. Practice power posing, recognize that you're skilled, and work on building your own confidence. You are stronger than you know. \\nTry saying an affirmation to yourself in the mirror each morning, like, \\\"I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I can do great things.\\\"\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Benching, weightlifting, powerlifting, etc. are all good ways to get stronger.\\n\", \"Be relaxed and try not to worry about things too much, sometimes it's good to stay alone in a peaceful place and just let your stress go.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,189 | How to Be Strong Minded | 1. Getting to Know Yourself
1-1. Quiet your mind.
A strong mind is an uncluttered mind. Practice letting go of unnecessary worries and distractions, so you can focus on more important things. When you notice yourself feeling scattered, take a deep breath and bring your focus back to where you want it.
Meditation is an excellent way to learn to control your mind. If you’ve never meditated before, it may be difficult at first, as your mind is not used to stillness. It will get much easier with practice, so do not get discouraged. It only takes five or ten minutes a day to start achieving results.
If you want to regain focus in the moment, you can try writing down what keeps popping up in your head. Think about it like a brain dump. When you get these thoughts out of your head, you'll be able to focus better. Dedicate some time later to attend to these thoughts or ideas.
1-2. Discover what brings you joy.
Ask yourself when you’ve felt happiest or most fulfilled and why. Then, identify the reasons those experiences were so rewarding for you. Try to replicate these experiences more often. Also, ask people you’re close to about yourself. Ask them what traits describe you when you're at your happiest, and what they think causes this side of you to come out. This can be a powerful tool in self-discovery.
For instance, if you loved a past tutoring job, take more opportunities to help others and share your knowledge.
1-3. Find out what motivates you.
Think about what drives you to achieve or persevere in your day-to-day life. If you often find yourself just trying to get through the day, ask yourself what you would do with your time if you didn’t have to worry about basic concerns like money.
Your motivations may be closely linked to your values. For instance, if you value friendship, you might be motivated to spend time with the friends you already have and meet new people.
1-4. Set some long-term goals.
Having a general idea of where you want your life to take you will help you stay strong-minded in the face of distractions and obstacles. Set goals that help give you direction in life. Try making a loose plan for the next five years.
Just sit down and write out a few accomplishments you would like to reach over the next few years. These may include graduating college, getting a job, or learning to speak Italian.
Encourage goal setting by surrounding yourself with goal-oriented people and also creating relationships with mentors with whom you can discuss your dreams periodically.
1-5. Create actionable short-term goals.
Now, that you have a general understanding of where you want to go, break those long-term goals down. This keeps you from getting overwhelmed and helps you stay on track.
Try to set SMART goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. For instance, your might break down "getting a job" into smaller segments. You might need to update your resume, complete an internship, or get additional education to reach this larger goal.
Be mindful about the time frames you give yourself. Make sure they are reasonable and account for rest, recreation, and the unexpected in life.
2. Living Confidently
2-1. Inform yourself.
Examine the reasoning behind your beliefs. If you find that you’ve been basing your ideas on emotions or misinformation, do some research and see if you need to re-evaluate your position. Stay up-to-date on current events and issues by reading widely and watching the news.
When you can backup your ideas with facts, you’ll feel more confident in yourself, and you’ll be better prepared to have rewarding conversations with other people.
Be mindful of whom you choose to associate with. Choose people who are also informed and thoughtful and who respectfully challenge your ideas.
Use good judgment when reading information published on the internet. Some websites purposely spread false or malicious content.
2-2. Avoid worrying.
Focus on the things you can control, instead of wasting mental energy on the things you can’t. If you’re worried about a situation or an upcoming event, ask yourself what you can do to prepare for it or make it less stressful. Then put your energy towards taking action.
If you’re a habitual worrier, set aside a short window of “worry time” every day. Give yourself ten minutes to do nothing but worry. If you catch yourself worrying at other times throughout the day, force yourself to think about something else. Try out a few different times of day to do this and stick with the one that works best for you.
2-3. Take responsibility for yourself.
Develop the mindset that you’re in control of your own actions and choices. Instead of blaming other people when something goes wrong, think about how you can respond most constructively, and ask yourself whether you can prevent it from happening again.
Similarly, when something goes well in your life, congratulate yourself for the role your hard work played in the achievement, instead of chalking it up to luck. Share the good news with others and find a way to commemorate it. This will help keep you motivated and build your self-confidence.
2-4. Develop good habits.
Increase your willpower by establishing positive everyday habits, such as getting up the first time your alarm goes off, keeping your house clean, and exercising regularly. If you procrastinate often, break the habit by making yourself accountable to other people and breaking your goals down into achievable steps.
Start with one good habit at a time. Keep a log of how often you stick to the habit. Try to consistently do the habit for at least a month before moving on to the next one.
2-5. Be willing to learn and change.
Being strong-minded doesn’t mean never changing your mind about anything. Our understanding of things changes over time, so do your best to not get stuck in the past. Stay open to new possibilities, and practice looking at complicated issues from multiple perspectives. When you talk to the people around you, really listen to them, even if you don’t agree with them.
Educate yourself and update your knowledge by doing activities such as: reading, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, and visiting museums.
2-6. Don’t let yourself be easily influenced by others.
Strong-minded people don’t doubt themselves completely every time someone disagrees. Practice being confident in your beliefs by journaling regularly and practicing saying “no.” Speak up confidently when you don’t agree, instead of keeping your thoughts to yourself or feeling the need to justify your opinions to others.
2-7. Identify the motives of others.
In order to be more confident in your opinions and decisions, you’ll need to work on developing a clear perception of others. You should always consider what people have to say when they’re trustworthy and admirable, but listening to those with potentially selfish or harmful motives can make you feel confused or tricked.
If you notice the person is continuously needy and persuasive and you have a bad feeling about them, don’t associate with them. They most likely don’t have your best interest at heart.
3. Overcoming Problems with Strength
3-1. Get some perspective on your problems.
Avoid blowing problems out of proportion in your mind. Catastrophic thinking, blaming yourself, and jumping to conclusions all undermine your mental strength. Instead, try to take a realistic view of the situation.
Stay in perspective by conducting reality testing against such thoughts. Ask yourself whether you have clear evidence to support the thought. Or, decide if there is a better, more realistic way of viewing the situation.
For instance, if you give a bad talk in front of 100 people, you might think, “I’m a terrible speaker. I should never speak to a crowd again.” If that happens, take a mental step back and remind yourself, “Lots of people have given one bad speech. It’s not the end of the world.”
Try consulting a trusted friend or advisor in order to gain some perspective. This person is not as emotionally invested and can be more objective, which may give you new things to consider.
3-2. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Strong-minded people are confident and resilient no matter how other people are performing. If you are going to compare, it should be against goals you have made and achieved in the past, to show how you’ve grown.
Although strong-minded people are often in competitive fields, such as sales, athletics, politics and academics, they win by being able to move past competitive pressures.
Pay attention to your social media use and determine whether it’s causing you to compare yourself, feel inadequate, or suffer from any other negative impacts.
3-3. Think constructively.
Avoid feeling sorry for yourself or telling yourself a situation is hopeless. Look for ways you can take control instead. Dismiss your negative thoughts and ask yourself, “What can I do about it?”
Your self-talk can be a sneaky source of negativity, so keep an eye on it. If you notice that you’re giving yourself unhelpful feedback, change it to something positive instead.
For example, you could change “Why do I even try?” to “I’m going to make one little improvement to the way I do this today.”
This can be heavily impacted by the people you spend time with. If you notice that people you’re around a lot tend to speak negatively, you may want to spend less time with them for the sake of your own personal growth.
3-4. Accept discomfort.
Pushing past the limits of your comfort zone takes strength and determination, but that’s the only way to achieve new things. Stretch yourself by doing things that are a little past your skill level. Accept the inevitability of failure and practice making peace with not knowing how things will turn out. Discomfort, failure, and uncertainty are okay, important, and useful for growth.
For example, you could increase your tolerance for discomfort by joining a public speaking group like Toastmasters or signing up for a challenging workout class.
3-5. Persevere.
If something is important to you, don’t give up on it, no matter how hard it is or how many times you’ve failed. Stay determined, even if you don’t see how things will work out right now. Look for a way to take one small step forward every day.
For example, if you can’t get hired for the kind of job you want, you could try working a different job temporarily while taking night classes in your chosen field.
If you decide that a goal or task is not worth your time anymore, it’s okay to stop pursuing it, but make sure you’re honest with yourself about your motivations. Quit because your goal is no longer in line with your goals or values, not just because it’s hard.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting to Know Yourself\\n1-1. Quiet your mind.\\nA strong mind is an uncluttered mind. Practice letting go of unnecessary worries and distractions, so you can focus on more important things. When you notice yourself feeling scattered, take a deep breath and bring your focus back to where you want it.\\n\\n Meditation is an excellent way to learn to control your mind. If you’ve never meditated before, it may be difficult at first, as your mind is not used to stillness. It will get much easier with practice, so do not get discouraged. It only takes five or ten minutes a day to start achieving results.\\nIf you want to regain focus in the moment, you can try writing down what keeps popping up in your head. Think about it like a brain dump. When you get these thoughts out of your head, you'll be able to focus better. Dedicate some time later to attend to these thoughts or ideas.\\n1-2. Discover what brings you joy.\\nAsk yourself when you’ve felt happiest or most fulfilled and why. Then, identify the reasons those experiences were so rewarding for you. Try to replicate these experiences more often. Also, ask people you’re close to about yourself. Ask them what traits describe you when you're at your happiest, and what they think causes this side of you to come out. This can be a powerful tool in self-discovery.\\nFor instance, if you loved a past tutoring job, take more opportunities to help others and share your knowledge.\\n1-3. Find out what motivates you.\\nThink about what drives you to achieve or persevere in your day-to-day life. If you often find yourself just trying to get through the day, ask yourself what you would do with your time if you didn’t have to worry about basic concerns like money.\\nYour motivations may be closely linked to your values. For instance, if you value friendship, you might be motivated to spend time with the friends you already have and meet new people.\\n1-4. Set some long-term goals.\\nHaving a general idea of where you want your life to take you will help you stay strong-minded in the face of distractions and obstacles. Set goals that help give you direction in life. Try making a loose plan for the next five years.\\nJust sit down and write out a few accomplishments you would like to reach over the next few years. These may include graduating college, getting a job, or learning to speak Italian.\\nEncourage goal setting by surrounding yourself with goal-oriented people and also creating relationships with mentors with whom you can discuss your dreams periodically.\\n1-5. Create actionable short-term goals.\\nNow, that you have a general understanding of where you want to go, break those long-term goals down. This keeps you from getting overwhelmed and helps you stay on track.\\nTry to set SMART goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. For instance, your might break down \\\"getting a job\\\" into smaller segments. You might need to update your resume, complete an internship, or get additional education to reach this larger goal.\\nBe mindful about the time frames you give yourself. Make sure they are reasonable and account for rest, recreation, and the unexpected in life.\\n2. Living Confidently\\n2-1. Inform yourself.\\nExamine the reasoning behind your beliefs. If you find that you’ve been basing your ideas on emotions or misinformation, do some research and see if you need to re-evaluate your position. Stay up-to-date on current events and issues by reading widely and watching the news.\\nWhen you can backup your ideas with facts, you’ll feel more confident in yourself, and you’ll be better prepared to have rewarding conversations with other people.\\nBe mindful of whom you choose to associate with. Choose people who are also informed and thoughtful and who respectfully challenge your ideas.\\nUse good judgment when reading information published on the internet. Some websites purposely spread false or malicious content.\\n2-2. Avoid worrying.\\nFocus on the things you can control, instead of wasting mental energy on the things you can’t. If you’re worried about a situation or an upcoming event, ask yourself what you can do to prepare for it or make it less stressful. Then put your energy towards taking action.\\nIf you’re a habitual worrier, set aside a short window of “worry time” every day. Give yourself ten minutes to do nothing but worry. If you catch yourself worrying at other times throughout the day, force yourself to think about something else. Try out a few different times of day to do this and stick with the one that works best for you.\\n2-3. Take responsibility for yourself.\\nDevelop the mindset that you’re in control of your own actions and choices. Instead of blaming other people when something goes wrong, think about how you can respond most constructively, and ask yourself whether you can prevent it from happening again.\\nSimilarly, when something goes well in your life, congratulate yourself for the role your hard work played in the achievement, instead of chalking it up to luck. Share the good news with others and find a way to commemorate it. This will help keep you motivated and build your self-confidence.\\n2-4. Develop good habits.\\nIncrease your willpower by establishing positive everyday habits, such as getting up the first time your alarm goes off, keeping your house clean, and exercising regularly. If you procrastinate often, break the habit by making yourself accountable to other people and breaking your goals down into achievable steps.\\nStart with one good habit at a time. Keep a log of how often you stick to the habit. Try to consistently do the habit for at least a month before moving on to the next one.\\n2-5. Be willing to learn and change.\\nBeing strong-minded doesn’t mean never changing your mind about anything. Our understanding of things changes over time, so do your best to not get stuck in the past. Stay open to new possibilities, and practice looking at complicated issues from multiple perspectives. When you talk to the people around you, really listen to them, even if you don’t agree with them.\\nEducate yourself and update your knowledge by doing activities such as: reading, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, and visiting museums.\\n2-6. Don’t let yourself be easily influenced by others.\\nStrong-minded people don’t doubt themselves completely every time someone disagrees. Practice being confident in your beliefs by journaling regularly and practicing saying “no.” Speak up confidently when you don’t agree, instead of keeping your thoughts to yourself or feeling the need to justify your opinions to others.\\n2-7. Identify the motives of others.\\nIn order to be more confident in your opinions and decisions, you’ll need to work on developing a clear perception of others. You should always consider what people have to say when they’re trustworthy and admirable, but listening to those with potentially selfish or harmful motives can make you feel confused or tricked. \\nIf you notice the person is continuously needy and persuasive and you have a bad feeling about them, don’t associate with them. They most likely don’t have your best interest at heart.\\n3. Overcoming Problems with Strength\\n3-1. Get some perspective on your problems.\\nAvoid blowing problems out of proportion in your mind. Catastrophic thinking, blaming yourself, and jumping to conclusions all undermine your mental strength. Instead, try to take a realistic view of the situation.\\nStay in perspective by conducting reality testing against such thoughts. Ask yourself whether you have clear evidence to support the thought. Or, decide if there is a better, more realistic way of viewing the situation.\\nFor instance, if you give a bad talk in front of 100 people, you might think, “I’m a terrible speaker. I should never speak to a crowd again.” If that happens, take a mental step back and remind yourself, “Lots of people have given one bad speech. It’s not the end of the world.”\\nTry consulting a trusted friend or advisor in order to gain some perspective. This person is not as emotionally invested and can be more objective, which may give you new things to consider.\\n3-2. Don’t compare yourself to others.\\nStrong-minded people are confident and resilient no matter how other people are performing. If you are going to compare, it should be against goals you have made and achieved in the past, to show how you’ve grown.\\nAlthough strong-minded people are often in competitive fields, such as sales, athletics, politics and academics, they win by being able to move past competitive pressures.\\nPay attention to your social media use and determine whether it’s causing you to compare yourself, feel inadequate, or suffer from any other negative impacts.\\n3-3. Think constructively.\\nAvoid feeling sorry for yourself or telling yourself a situation is hopeless. Look for ways you can take control instead. Dismiss your negative thoughts and ask yourself, “What can I do about it?”\\nYour self-talk can be a sneaky source of negativity, so keep an eye on it. If you notice that you’re giving yourself unhelpful feedback, change it to something positive instead.\\nFor example, you could change “Why do I even try?” to “I’m going to make one little improvement to the way I do this today.”\\nThis can be heavily impacted by the people you spend time with. If you notice that people you’re around a lot tend to speak negatively, you may want to spend less time with them for the sake of your own personal growth.\\n3-4. Accept discomfort.\\nPushing past the limits of your comfort zone takes strength and determination, but that’s the only way to achieve new things. Stretch yourself by doing things that are a little past your skill level. Accept the inevitability of failure and practice making peace with not knowing how things will turn out. Discomfort, failure, and uncertainty are okay, important, and useful for growth.\\nFor example, you could increase your tolerance for discomfort by joining a public speaking group like Toastmasters or signing up for a challenging workout class.\\n3-5. Persevere.\\nIf something is important to you, don’t give up on it, no matter how hard it is or how many times you’ve failed. Stay determined, even if you don’t see how things will work out right now. Look for a way to take one small step forward every day.\\nFor example, if you can’t get hired for the kind of job you want, you could try working a different job temporarily while taking night classes in your chosen field.\\nIf you decide that a goal or task is not worth your time anymore, it’s okay to stop pursuing it, but make sure you’re honest with yourself about your motivations. Quit because your goal is no longer in line with your goals or values, not just because it’s hard.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Most successful people have one trait in common: they are strong-minded. Someone with a strong mind is mentally tough and resolute about their ideals, but they aren’t too stubborn to grow and adapt to new situations, either. If you want a stronger mind, you can achieve it with some work and patience, just like you would train your body in a gym. Develop your mental toughness by knowing what you believe, having the conviction to live by your values, and becoming resilient enough to recover from adversity.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Quiet your mind.\", \"描述\": \"A strong mind is an uncluttered mind. Practice letting go of unnecessary worries and distractions, so you can focus on more important things. When you notice yourself feeling scattered, take a deep breath and bring your focus back to where you want it.\\n\\n Meditation is an excellent way to learn to control your mind. If you’ve never meditated before, it may be difficult at first, as your mind is not used to stillness. It will get much easier with practice, so do not get discouraged. It only takes five or ten minutes a day to start achieving results.\\nIf you want to regain focus in the moment, you can try writing down what keeps popping up in your head. Think about it like a brain dump. When you get these thoughts out of your head, you'll be able to focus better. Dedicate some time later to attend to these thoughts or ideas.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discover what brings you joy.\", \"描述\": \"Ask yourself when you’ve felt happiest or most fulfilled and why. Then, identify the reasons those experiences were so rewarding for you. Try to replicate these experiences more often. Also, ask people you’re close to about yourself. Ask them what traits describe you when you're at your happiest, and what they think causes this side of you to come out. This can be a powerful tool in self-discovery.\\nFor instance, if you loved a past tutoring job, take more opportunities to help others and share your knowledge.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out what motivates you.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what drives you to achieve or persevere in your day-to-day life. If you often find yourself just trying to get through the day, ask yourself what you would do with your time if you didn’t have to worry about basic concerns like money.\\nYour motivations may be closely linked to your values. For instance, if you value friendship, you might be motivated to spend time with the friends you already have and meet new people.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set some long-term goals.\", \"描述\": \"Having a general idea of where you want your life to take you will help you stay strong-minded in the face of distractions and obstacles. Set goals that help give you direction in life. Try making a loose plan for the next five years.\\nJust sit down and write out a few accomplishments you would like to reach over the next few years. These may include graduating college, getting a job, or learning to speak Italian.\\nEncourage goal setting by surrounding yourself with goal-oriented people and also creating relationships with mentors with whom you can discuss your dreams periodically.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create actionable short-term goals.\", \"描述\": \"Now, that you have a general understanding of where you want to go, break those long-term goals down. This keeps you from getting overwhelmed and helps you stay on track.\\nTry to set SMART goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. For instance, your might break down \\\"getting a job\\\" into smaller segments. You might need to update your resume, complete an internship, or get additional education to reach this larger goal.\\nBe mindful about the time frames you give yourself. Make sure they are reasonable and account for rest, recreation, and the unexpected in life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Living Confidently\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Inform yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Examine the reasoning behind your beliefs. If you find that you’ve been basing your ideas on emotions or misinformation, do some research and see if you need to re-evaluate your position. Stay up-to-date on current events and issues by reading widely and watching the news.\\nWhen you can backup your ideas with facts, you’ll feel more confident in yourself, and you’ll be better prepared to have rewarding conversations with other people.\\nBe mindful of whom you choose to associate with. Choose people who are also informed and thoughtful and who respectfully challenge your ideas.\\nUse good judgment when reading information published on the internet. Some websites purposely spread false or malicious content.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid worrying.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on the things you can control, instead of wasting mental energy on the things you can’t. If you’re worried about a situation or an upcoming event, ask yourself what you can do to prepare for it or make it less stressful. Then put your energy towards taking action.\\nIf you’re a habitual worrier, set aside a short window of “worry time” every day. Give yourself ten minutes to do nothing but worry. If you catch yourself worrying at other times throughout the day, force yourself to think about something else. Try out a few different times of day to do this and stick with the one that works best for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Develop the mindset that you’re in control of your own actions and choices. Instead of blaming other people when something goes wrong, think about how you can respond most constructively, and ask yourself whether you can prevent it from happening again.\\nSimilarly, when something goes well in your life, congratulate yourself for the role your hard work played in the achievement, instead of chalking it up to luck. Share the good news with others and find a way to commemorate it. This will help keep you motivated and build your self-confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Develop good habits.\", \"描述\": \"Increase your willpower by establishing positive everyday habits, such as getting up the first time your alarm goes off, keeping your house clean, and exercising regularly. If you procrastinate often, break the habit by making yourself accountable to other people and breaking your goals down into achievable steps.\\nStart with one good habit at a time. Keep a log of how often you stick to the habit. Try to consistently do the habit for at least a month before moving on to the next one.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be willing to learn and change.\", \"描述\": \"Being strong-minded doesn’t mean never changing your mind about anything. Our understanding of things changes over time, so do your best to not get stuck in the past. Stay open to new possibilities, and practice looking at complicated issues from multiple perspectives. When you talk to the people around you, really listen to them, even if you don’t agree with them.\\nEducate yourself and update your knowledge by doing activities such as: reading, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, and visiting museums.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t let yourself be easily influenced by others.\", \"描述\": \"Strong-minded people don’t doubt themselves completely every time someone disagrees. Practice being confident in your beliefs by journaling regularly and practicing saying “no.” Speak up confidently when you don’t agree, instead of keeping your thoughts to yourself or feeling the need to justify your opinions to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Identify the motives of others.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be more confident in your opinions and decisions, you’ll need to work on developing a clear perception of others. You should always consider what people have to say when they’re trustworthy and admirable, but listening to those with potentially selfish or harmful motives can make you feel confused or tricked. \\nIf you notice the person is continuously needy and persuasive and you have a bad feeling about them, don’t associate with them. They most likely don’t have your best interest at heart.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Problems with Strength\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get some perspective on your problems.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid blowing problems out of proportion in your mind. Catastrophic thinking, blaming yourself, and jumping to conclusions all undermine your mental strength. Instead, try to take a realistic view of the situation.\\nStay in perspective by conducting reality testing against such thoughts. Ask yourself whether you have clear evidence to support the thought. Or, decide if there is a better, more realistic way of viewing the situation.\\nFor instance, if you give a bad talk in front of 100 people, you might think, “I’m a terrible speaker. I should never speak to a crowd again.” If that happens, take a mental step back and remind yourself, “Lots of people have given one bad speech. It’s not the end of the world.”\\nTry consulting a trusted friend or advisor in order to gain some perspective. This person is not as emotionally invested and can be more objective, which may give you new things to consider.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t compare yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"Strong-minded people are confident and resilient no matter how other people are performing. If you are going to compare, it should be against goals you have made and achieved in the past, to show how you’ve grown.\\nAlthough strong-minded people are often in competitive fields, such as sales, athletics, politics and academics, they win by being able to move past competitive pressures.\\nPay attention to your social media use and determine whether it’s causing you to compare yourself, feel inadequate, or suffer from any other negative impacts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think constructively.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid feeling sorry for yourself or telling yourself a situation is hopeless. Look for ways you can take control instead. Dismiss your negative thoughts and ask yourself, “What can I do about it?”\\nYour self-talk can be a sneaky source of negativity, so keep an eye on it. If you notice that you’re giving yourself unhelpful feedback, change it to something positive instead.\\nFor example, you could change “Why do I even try?” to “I’m going to make one little improvement to the way I do this today.”\\nThis can be heavily impacted by the people you spend time with. If you notice that people you’re around a lot tend to speak negatively, you may want to spend less time with them for the sake of your own personal growth.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept discomfort.\", \"描述\": \"Pushing past the limits of your comfort zone takes strength and determination, but that’s the only way to achieve new things. Stretch yourself by doing things that are a little past your skill level. Accept the inevitability of failure and practice making peace with not knowing how things will turn out. Discomfort, failure, and uncertainty are okay, important, and useful for growth.\\nFor example, you could increase your tolerance for discomfort by joining a public speaking group like Toastmasters or signing up for a challenging workout class.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Persevere.\", \"描述\": \"If something is important to you, don’t give up on it, no matter how hard it is or how many times you’ve failed. Stay determined, even if you don’t see how things will work out right now. Look for a way to take one small step forward every day.\\nFor example, if you can’t get hired for the kind of job you want, you could try working a different job temporarily while taking night classes in your chosen field.\\nIf you decide that a goal or task is not worth your time anymore, it’s okay to stop pursuing it, but make sure you’re honest with yourself about your motivations. Quit because your goal is no longer in line with your goals or values, not just because it’s hard.\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,190 | How to Be Stubborn | 1. Being Assertive
1-1. Be firm about your demands.
If you want to be stubborn, then you have to know how to be firm about what you want. If you can’t say what you want clearly, calmly, and with confidence, then you won’t be able to be truly stubborn. However, if people see that you’re really serious about what you want, then they’ll be much less likely to try to change your mind or to think you’re a pushover.
Look people in the eye when you say what you want. Let them see that you mean it. If you look at the ground or away, it’ll look like you’re unsure of what you want.
Speak slowly and clearly. Make sure you’re talking loudly enough so that people can hear you and see that you mean business.
Use confident, direct language. Instead of saying, “I was wondering if there was any chance you could let me borrow your car some time,” say, “I really need to borrow your car as soon as I can. I would really appreciate it if you could help me.”
Make sure you're really clear on what you want and how you want to be treated—you can't expect others to know what you need if you aren't sure yourself.
1-2. Provide evidence for your beliefs.
Another way to help yourself be assertive and stubborn when it comes to getting what you want is to provide concrete evidence for why you should get whatever it is you’re asking for. If you just state what you want without giving any reasons for why you need it or why it shouldn’t be that hard for the person you’re talking to to make it happen, then your request will sound wishy-washy, or like you haven’t put a lot of thought into it.
Make sure to plan what you’re going to say before you say it. Come up with an argument for what you want and what you’ll say to really prove it’s necessary. If you don’t have anything to say when the other person asks, “But why?” then it’ll look like you’re not really invested.
Practice asking for what you want in front of a mirror or even with a friend. This can help you gain the confidence you need when you state your demands; it can also help you see if the evidence you’re planning on providing will really help your case.
You can say something like, “Mom, I’d like to sleep over at Stella’s house tonight. You promised I could do it if I got my grades up last week, and I just got an ‘A’ on my English essay.”
1-3. Don’t let other people bully you away from your needs.
The trouble with being stubborn is that you may not be the only stubborn person in the room. Someone else may try to out-stubborn you and make you feel like there’s no chance that you will get what you want. If you’re facing a person like this, whether it’s a friend or an older sibling, then you have to be able to stand your ground and show them that they can’t change your mind.
Other people may put you down, call you names, or just make you feel like what you want is impossible. Learn to stick to what you want and not let them dissuade you.
Don’t fight fire with fire. It’s better to be calm than to get emotional if your older sister is being mean to you when all you want to do is borrow her dress. This shows that you’re serious about what you want and need.
Remember, you can't control how others respond to you. If you don't get the outcome you're looking for, keep repeating your request and making your needs known.
1-4. Look out for yourself.
You have to stop worrying about pleasing other people and remember that you’re the most important person in your life. This doesn’t mean you have to be completely selfish, but it does mean that you have to know when it’s best to look out for your own needs instead of what your friends or other people in your life may want. Sometimes you may have to let other people have their way, but there are times when you should know that you should really put yourself first.
For example, if you’re out with your best friend and she has always picked the movie you two are going to see together, then you should be comfortable with suggesting you want to see a different movie, even if you’ve always been a little scared of her moods.
Sure, the people around you will be less happy if you disagree with them or say that you want something different from what they want. However, you will be less happy if you never get what you want, too.
1-5. Pick your battles.
Though sticking up for what you want is important, you may have more success if you don’t fight for absolutely every little thing you believe in. If you always fight for everything you want, from what toppings you want on your pizza to what you want to watch on TV, then people will have a hard time taking you seriously when you start fighting for something that really makes a big difference in your life. Make sure to pick your battles wisely, and to spend your effort on the things that really matter to you.
If you seem to fight the same amount for say, what you have for breakfast as for extending your curfew, then your parents or other people in your life will have a hard time taking you seriously.
If you only fight for the things that really, really matter to you, then the people around you will be able to tell that you’re acting differently because whatever you want is non-negotiable. Let your tone, body language, and words show that you mean business this time.
If something is really important to you, explain why it matters when you're asking.
1-6. Be respectful to the person you’re asking for help.
There’s something to the saying that you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If you want to be stubborn and get what you want, then you’re more likely to see positive results when you treat the person you want help from kindly and with respect. Instead of attacking the person and instantly putting him or her on the defensive, try to be kind and to even offer a bit of flattery, at first.
For example, instead of saying, “Mom, you never let me do anything fun. Why can’t you let me see a movie with Amy?” you can say something like, “Mom, do you think I could see a movie with Amy tonight? I would really be grateful if you let me do that.”
Of course, if being kind or even giving the person a bit of sincere flattery doesn’t work, then you may have to try a tougher approach. But starting things off on a positive note should be your best bet.
1-7. Set goals and meet them.
If you want to be stubborn about something that is harder to achieve, then you’ll have be determined to get what you want at all costs. To really succeed in something like wanting to be an actress or writing a book, you’ll have to make an effort to set small goals that help you achieve your larger goal in order to be stubborn and persistent enough to get what you want.
Make a list of all of the things you need to do to reach your goal. If you’re not sure what all of the steps of the process entail, then you should talk to an expert in whatever you want to achieve to get a better sense of the measures you need to take.
If you focus on meeting small goals one at a time, then you’ll be much more likely to reach that larger goal than you would be if you were only focused on crawling toward that big picture. For example, if you want to write the first draft of a novel, break it up chapter by chapter.
You’ll have to learn to ignore all of the doubters along the way. There will be plenty of people who will want you to feel like there’s no way you can succeed. Don’t let them stop you.
1-8. Deal with rejection constructively.
Some people let too much discouragement get them down. However, if you’re really stubborn about getting what you want and doing what’s best for you, then you have to be able to accept all of the people who are telling you you can’t get what you want. Whether you’re trying to land a role in a film, find an agent for your novel, or make the volleyball team, tell yourself that if you keep trying, you’ll be able to do whatever you want, no matter what people say.
Remind yourself that most great people have dealt with their fair share of rejection before becoming successes. Michael Jordan didn’t even make his high school basketball team! Let that rejection motivate you to keep working instead of bringing you down.
That said, you shouldn’t ignore the rejection all together. If everyone who is rejecting you is telling you the same thing, then you may be able to use the advice you’re getting to improve.
The most important thing is that you’re confident in what you’re doing. If you really believe in what you want and know you deserve it, then it’ll be easier to deal with the rejection.
2. Getting What You Want at All Costs
2-1. Be a broken record.
So you’ve tried to be nice, and that has gotten you nowhere. If you feel like you’ve tried being diplomatic, kind, and understanding and you’re no better off than you were when you started, then you may need to take a different approach. Sure, you may be a bit annoying by being a broken record and repeating what you want again and again, but who says it won’t help you get what you want?”
Continue saying what you want, or talking about what you want, until the person you’re talking to is so frustrated with you or annoyed that he just gives in. Sure, it won’t be pretty, but it’ll help you get closer to where you need to go.
Just fold your arms over your chest and say what you want. Be firm in what you believe and don’t be ashamed of acting this way! If you’ve tried to be nice, then you need to try a different approach.
2-2. Refuse to move until you get what you want.
Another way to be truly stubborn is simply not to budge until the person you’re with gives in to your demands. This can mean staying in your seat at a restaurant long after you’ve eaten your meal, staying at home when you and the person you’re with need to get going somewhere, or even stopping and sitting down on the ground wherever you want until you get what you want. Sure, this may embarrass the person you’re with, but if you really don’t care about that, then this may be the best way to get what you’re asking for!
This can be especially effective if the person is really depending on you to get up, like if you’re supposed to be giving him a ride somewhere.
Sure, this may not be the most sophisticated approach, but it may be the most effective. Some people will quickly give in in the face of embarrassment.
2-3. Completely ignore the person who doesn’t agree with you.
Another way to be stubborn is to just ignore the person who is telling you you can’t do a certain thing. Act like you literally can’t hear the person until he or she lets you have what you want. This can mean blankly staring at the person in front of you, as if you don’t hear him or her turning you down at all, putting your fingers in your ears and saying, “I can’t hear you!” or just shrugging and walking away.
Sure, this isn’t the world’s most mature approach, but if you’re really determined to get what you want, then this may help you get it at any cost.
2-4. Bargain.
Another way to be stubborn and to get whatever you want is to bargain with the person you’re asking for help. Think for a minute and see if there’s something you can do for the person, so it feels less like a give give, and more like a give and take. If you have some ideas for how you can be of use to the person, then this will make it feel more like an exchange than a case of you just getting what you want.
For example, you can ask your mother to let you hang out with your friends in exchange for doing the laundry over the weekend for her. This will make your question much more appealing.
If you want to borrow your sister’s sweater, offer to let her borrow the new dress of yours that she really likes.
2-5. Get emotional.
Though this is a cheap trick, sometimes shedding a tear or two can help you get what you want, especially if you’re in public. If your parents, siblings, or person you’re with won’t let you get your way, try getting really upset, crying, throwing a bit of a fit, or just showing how much you want whatever you’re not getting. Not only will this emphasize how much you want to get whatever you’re asking for, but it will also have the bonus effect of embarrassing the person you’re with into letting you have your way.
If you don’t care about embarrassing yourself, try asking for whatever you want in an extra public place and then have a meltdown when you don’t get what you want so the person you’re with gets extra embarrassed. If this doesn’t backfire and make the person even more angry with you, it can actually be just embarrassing enough that you may win.
You can practice your hissy fit in advance if you think that’ll make your act more convincing.
2-6. Don’t forget your reasons for wanting what you want.
At the end of the day, being stubborn is all about sticking to your guns and getting what you want—and what you deserve. If you lose sight of your goals or needs, then you’ll be likely to give in to people or to give up because it’s simply easier than creating conflict. However, if you repeat what you want and why you want it to yourself, or even write it down on a piece of paper and read it over periodically, then you’ll be more likely to be stubborn about what you want—and to get it.
Sure, it’s easier to shrug your shoulders and say that you’ll be okay with not getting what you want, but if that’s your attitude, then you’ll never be happy.
Remember that being stubborn is a good thing when it comes to following your heart and asking for what you really want in life. Be proud of yourself for being firm, sticking up for yourself, and not letting other people boss you around.
Tips
Know when to relent. You don't want to become the boss of everyone.
Don't take it overboard. Stubbornness can easily become irritating and demanding.
Warnings
Don't let being stubborn take over your life.
Being stubborn can push people away. Your way isn't always the right way - other people have opinions too.
Being stubborn is sometimes described as a negative quality. These steps should really only be used in situations where it is absolutely necessary.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Assertive\\n1-1. Be firm about your demands.\\nIf you want to be stubborn, then you have to know how to be firm about what you want. If you can’t say what you want clearly, calmly, and with confidence, then you won’t be able to be truly stubborn. However, if people see that you’re really serious about what you want, then they’ll be much less likely to try to change your mind or to think you’re a pushover.\\nLook people in the eye when you say what you want. Let them see that you mean it. If you look at the ground or away, it’ll look like you’re unsure of what you want.\\nSpeak slowly and clearly. Make sure you’re talking loudly enough so that people can hear you and see that you mean business.\\nUse confident, direct language. Instead of saying, “I was wondering if there was any chance you could let me borrow your car some time,” say, “I really need to borrow your car as soon as I can. I would really appreciate it if you could help me.”\\nMake sure you're really clear on what you want and how you want to be treated—you can't expect others to know what you need if you aren't sure yourself.\\n1-2. Provide evidence for your beliefs.\\nAnother way to help yourself be assertive and stubborn when it comes to getting what you want is to provide concrete evidence for why you should get whatever it is you’re asking for. If you just state what you want without giving any reasons for why you need it or why it shouldn’t be that hard for the person you’re talking to to make it happen, then your request will sound wishy-washy, or like you haven’t put a lot of thought into it.\\nMake sure to plan what you’re going to say before you say it. Come up with an argument for what you want and what you’ll say to really prove it’s necessary. If you don’t have anything to say when the other person asks, “But why?” then it’ll look like you’re not really invested.\\nPractice asking for what you want in front of a mirror or even with a friend. This can help you gain the confidence you need when you state your demands; it can also help you see if the evidence you’re planning on providing will really help your case.\\nYou can say something like, “Mom, I’d like to sleep over at Stella’s house tonight. You promised I could do it if I got my grades up last week, and I just got an ‘A’ on my English essay.”\\n1-3. Don’t let other people bully you away from your needs.\\nThe trouble with being stubborn is that you may not be the only stubborn person in the room. Someone else may try to out-stubborn you and make you feel like there’s no chance that you will get what you want. If you’re facing a person like this, whether it’s a friend or an older sibling, then you have to be able to stand your ground and show them that they can’t change your mind.\\nOther people may put you down, call you names, or just make you feel like what you want is impossible. Learn to stick to what you want and not let them dissuade you.\\nDon’t fight fire with fire. It’s better to be calm than to get emotional if your older sister is being mean to you when all you want to do is borrow her dress. This shows that you’re serious about what you want and need.\\nRemember, you can't control how others respond to you. If you don't get the outcome you're looking for, keep repeating your request and making your needs known.\\n1-4. Look out for yourself.\\nYou have to stop worrying about pleasing other people and remember that you’re the most important person in your life. This doesn’t mean you have to be completely selfish, but it does mean that you have to know when it’s best to look out for your own needs instead of what your friends or other people in your life may want. Sometimes you may have to let other people have their way, but there are times when you should know that you should really put yourself first.\\nFor example, if you’re out with your best friend and she has always picked the movie you two are going to see together, then you should be comfortable with suggesting you want to see a different movie, even if you’ve always been a little scared of her moods.\\nSure, the people around you will be less happy if you disagree with them or say that you want something different from what they want. However, you will be less happy if you never get what you want, too.\\n1-5. Pick your battles.\\nThough sticking up for what you want is important, you may have more success if you don’t fight for absolutely every little thing you believe in. If you always fight for everything you want, from what toppings you want on your pizza to what you want to watch on TV, then people will have a hard time taking you seriously when you start fighting for something that really makes a big difference in your life. Make sure to pick your battles wisely, and to spend your effort on the things that really matter to you.\\nIf you seem to fight the same amount for say, what you have for breakfast as for extending your curfew, then your parents or other people in your life will have a hard time taking you seriously.\\nIf you only fight for the things that really, really matter to you, then the people around you will be able to tell that you’re acting differently because whatever you want is non-negotiable. Let your tone, body language, and words show that you mean business this time.\\nIf something is really important to you, explain why it matters when you're asking.\\n1-6. Be respectful to the person you’re asking for help.\\nThere’s something to the saying that you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If you want to be stubborn and get what you want, then you’re more likely to see positive results when you treat the person you want help from kindly and with respect. Instead of attacking the person and instantly putting him or her on the defensive, try to be kind and to even offer a bit of flattery, at first.\\nFor example, instead of saying, “Mom, you never let me do anything fun. Why can’t you let me see a movie with Amy?” you can say something like, “Mom, do you think I could see a movie with Amy tonight? I would really be grateful if you let me do that.”\\nOf course, if being kind or even giving the person a bit of sincere flattery doesn’t work, then you may have to try a tougher approach. But starting things off on a positive note should be your best bet.\\n1-7. Set goals and meet them.\\nIf you want to be stubborn about something that is harder to achieve, then you’ll have be determined to get what you want at all costs. To really succeed in something like wanting to be an actress or writing a book, you’ll have to make an effort to set small goals that help you achieve your larger goal in order to be stubborn and persistent enough to get what you want.\\nMake a list of all of the things you need to do to reach your goal. If you’re not sure what all of the steps of the process entail, then you should talk to an expert in whatever you want to achieve to get a better sense of the measures you need to take.\\nIf you focus on meeting small goals one at a time, then you’ll be much more likely to reach that larger goal than you would be if you were only focused on crawling toward that big picture. For example, if you want to write the first draft of a novel, break it up chapter by chapter.\\nYou’ll have to learn to ignore all of the doubters along the way. There will be plenty of people who will want you to feel like there’s no way you can succeed. Don’t let them stop you.\\n1-8. Deal with rejection constructively.\\nSome people let too much discouragement get them down. However, if you’re really stubborn about getting what you want and doing what’s best for you, then you have to be able to accept all of the people who are telling you you can’t get what you want. Whether you’re trying to land a role in a film, find an agent for your novel, or make the volleyball team, tell yourself that if you keep trying, you’ll be able to do whatever you want, no matter what people say.\\nRemind yourself that most great people have dealt with their fair share of rejection before becoming successes. Michael Jordan didn’t even make his high school basketball team! Let that rejection motivate you to keep working instead of bringing you down.\\nThat said, you shouldn’t ignore the rejection all together. If everyone who is rejecting you is telling you the same thing, then you may be able to use the advice you’re getting to improve.\\nThe most important thing is that you’re confident in what you’re doing. If you really believe in what you want and know you deserve it, then it’ll be easier to deal with the rejection.\\n2. Getting What You Want at All Costs\\n2-1. Be a broken record.\\nSo you’ve tried to be nice, and that has gotten you nowhere. If you feel like you’ve tried being diplomatic, kind, and understanding and you’re no better off than you were when you started, then you may need to take a different approach. Sure, you may be a bit annoying by being a broken record and repeating what you want again and again, but who says it won’t help you get what you want?”\\nContinue saying what you want, or talking about what you want, until the person you’re talking to is so frustrated with you or annoyed that he just gives in. Sure, it won’t be pretty, but it’ll help you get closer to where you need to go.\\nJust fold your arms over your chest and say what you want. Be firm in what you believe and don’t be ashamed of acting this way! If you’ve tried to be nice, then you need to try a different approach.\\n2-2. Refuse to move until you get what you want.\\nAnother way to be truly stubborn is simply not to budge until the person you’re with gives in to your demands. This can mean staying in your seat at a restaurant long after you’ve eaten your meal, staying at home when you and the person you’re with need to get going somewhere, or even stopping and sitting down on the ground wherever you want until you get what you want. Sure, this may embarrass the person you’re with, but if you really don’t care about that, then this may be the best way to get what you’re asking for!\\nThis can be especially effective if the person is really depending on you to get up, like if you’re supposed to be giving him a ride somewhere.\\nSure, this may not be the most sophisticated approach, but it may be the most effective. Some people will quickly give in in the face of embarrassment.\\n2-3. Completely ignore the person who doesn’t agree with you.\\nAnother way to be stubborn is to just ignore the person who is telling you you can’t do a certain thing. Act like you literally can’t hear the person until he or she lets you have what you want. This can mean blankly staring at the person in front of you, as if you don’t hear him or her turning you down at all, putting your fingers in your ears and saying, “I can’t hear you!” or just shrugging and walking away.\\nSure, this isn’t the world’s most mature approach, but if you’re really determined to get what you want, then this may help you get it at any cost.\\n2-4. Bargain.\\nAnother way to be stubborn and to get whatever you want is to bargain with the person you’re asking for help. Think for a minute and see if there’s something you can do for the person, so it feels less like a give give, and more like a give and take. If you have some ideas for how you can be of use to the person, then this will make it feel more like an exchange than a case of you just getting what you want.\\nFor example, you can ask your mother to let you hang out with your friends in exchange for doing the laundry over the weekend for her. This will make your question much more appealing.\\nIf you want to borrow your sister’s sweater, offer to let her borrow the new dress of yours that she really likes.\\n2-5. Get emotional.\\nThough this is a cheap trick, sometimes shedding a tear or two can help you get what you want, especially if you’re in public. If your parents, siblings, or person you’re with won’t let you get your way, try getting really upset, crying, throwing a bit of a fit, or just showing how much you want whatever you’re not getting. Not only will this emphasize how much you want to get whatever you’re asking for, but it will also have the bonus effect of embarrassing the person you’re with into letting you have your way.\\nIf you don’t care about embarrassing yourself, try asking for whatever you want in an extra public place and then have a meltdown when you don’t get what you want so the person you’re with gets extra embarrassed. If this doesn’t backfire and make the person even more angry with you, it can actually be just embarrassing enough that you may win.\\nYou can practice your hissy fit in advance if you think that’ll make your act more convincing.\\n2-6. Don’t forget your reasons for wanting what you want.\\nAt the end of the day, being stubborn is all about sticking to your guns and getting what you want—and what you deserve. If you lose sight of your goals or needs, then you’ll be likely to give in to people or to give up because it’s simply easier than creating conflict. However, if you repeat what you want and why you want it to yourself, or even write it down on a piece of paper and read it over periodically, then you’ll be more likely to be stubborn about what you want—and to get it.\\nSure, it’s easier to shrug your shoulders and say that you’ll be okay with not getting what you want, but if that’s your attitude, then you’ll never be happy.\\nRemember that being stubborn is a good thing when it comes to following your heart and asking for what you really want in life. Be proud of yourself for being firm, sticking up for yourself, and not letting other people boss you around.\\nTips\\nKnow when to relent. You don't want to become the boss of everyone.\\nDon't take it overboard. Stubbornness can easily become irritating and demanding.\\nWarnings\\nDon't let being stubborn take over your life.\\nBeing stubborn can push people away. Your way isn't always the right way - other people have opinions too.\\nBeing stubborn is sometimes described as a negative quality. These steps should really only be used in situations where it is absolutely necessary.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being stubborn doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. In fact, sometimes a healthy dose of stubbornness is just what you need in order to push yourself to get what you want. To truly be stubborn, you have to know how to stick up for what you believe in and not give in to other people, even if it’s the easier thing to do. Sometimes, this may even require you to be a bit annoying, but hey, if it gets you what you want, then more power to you!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Assertive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be firm about your demands.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be stubborn, then you have to know how to be firm about what you want. If you can’t say what you want clearly, calmly, and with confidence, then you won’t be able to be truly stubborn. However, if people see that you’re really serious about what you want, then they’ll be much less likely to try to change your mind or to think you’re a pushover.\\nLook people in the eye when you say what you want. Let them see that you mean it. If you look at the ground or away, it’ll look like you’re unsure of what you want.\\nSpeak slowly and clearly. Make sure you’re talking loudly enough so that people can hear you and see that you mean business.\\nUse confident, direct language. Instead of saying, “I was wondering if there was any chance you could let me borrow your car some time,” say, “I really need to borrow your car as soon as I can. I would really appreciate it if you could help me.”\\nMake sure you're really clear on what you want and how you want to be treated—you can't expect others to know what you need if you aren't sure yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Provide evidence for your beliefs.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to help yourself be assertive and stubborn when it comes to getting what you want is to provide concrete evidence for why you should get whatever it is you’re asking for. If you just state what you want without giving any reasons for why you need it or why it shouldn’t be that hard for the person you’re talking to to make it happen, then your request will sound wishy-washy, or like you haven’t put a lot of thought into it.\\nMake sure to plan what you’re going to say before you say it. Come up with an argument for what you want and what you’ll say to really prove it’s necessary. If you don’t have anything to say when the other person asks, “But why?” then it’ll look like you’re not really invested.\\nPractice asking for what you want in front of a mirror or even with a friend. This can help you gain the confidence you need when you state your demands; it can also help you see if the evidence you’re planning on providing will really help your case.\\nYou can say something like, “Mom, I’d like to sleep over at Stella’s house tonight. You promised I could do it if I got my grades up last week, and I just got an ‘A’ on my English essay.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t let other people bully you away from your needs.\", \"描述\": \"The trouble with being stubborn is that you may not be the only stubborn person in the room. Someone else may try to out-stubborn you and make you feel like there’s no chance that you will get what you want. If you’re facing a person like this, whether it’s a friend or an older sibling, then you have to be able to stand your ground and show them that they can’t change your mind.\\nOther people may put you down, call you names, or just make you feel like what you want is impossible. Learn to stick to what you want and not let them dissuade you.\\nDon’t fight fire with fire. It’s better to be calm than to get emotional if your older sister is being mean to you when all you want to do is borrow her dress. This shows that you’re serious about what you want and need.\\nRemember, you can't control how others respond to you. If you don't get the outcome you're looking for, keep repeating your request and making your needs known.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look out for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You have to stop worrying about pleasing other people and remember that you’re the most important person in your life. This doesn’t mean you have to be completely selfish, but it does mean that you have to know when it’s best to look out for your own needs instead of what your friends or other people in your life may want. Sometimes you may have to let other people have their way, but there are times when you should know that you should really put yourself first.\\nFor example, if you’re out with your best friend and she has always picked the movie you two are going to see together, then you should be comfortable with suggesting you want to see a different movie, even if you’ve always been a little scared of her moods.\\nSure, the people around you will be less happy if you disagree with them or say that you want something different from what they want. However, you will be less happy if you never get what you want, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pick your battles.\", \"描述\": \"Though sticking up for what you want is important, you may have more success if you don’t fight for absolutely every little thing you believe in. If you always fight for everything you want, from what toppings you want on your pizza to what you want to watch on TV, then people will have a hard time taking you seriously when you start fighting for something that really makes a big difference in your life. Make sure to pick your battles wisely, and to spend your effort on the things that really matter to you.\\nIf you seem to fight the same amount for say, what you have for breakfast as for extending your curfew, then your parents or other people in your life will have a hard time taking you seriously.\\nIf you only fight for the things that really, really matter to you, then the people around you will be able to tell that you’re acting differently because whatever you want is non-negotiable. Let your tone, body language, and words show that you mean business this time.\\nIf something is really important to you, explain why it matters when you're asking.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be respectful to the person you’re asking for help.\", \"描述\": \"There’s something to the saying that you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If you want to be stubborn and get what you want, then you’re more likely to see positive results when you treat the person you want help from kindly and with respect. Instead of attacking the person and instantly putting him or her on the defensive, try to be kind and to even offer a bit of flattery, at first.\\nFor example, instead of saying, “Mom, you never let me do anything fun. Why can’t you let me see a movie with Amy?” you can say something like, “Mom, do you think I could see a movie with Amy tonight? I would really be grateful if you let me do that.”\\nOf course, if being kind or even giving the person a bit of sincere flattery doesn’t work, then you may have to try a tougher approach. But starting things off on a positive note should be your best bet.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Set goals and meet them.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be stubborn about something that is harder to achieve, then you’ll have be determined to get what you want at all costs. To really succeed in something like wanting to be an actress or writing a book, you’ll have to make an effort to set small goals that help you achieve your larger goal in order to be stubborn and persistent enough to get what you want.\\nMake a list of all of the things you need to do to reach your goal. If you’re not sure what all of the steps of the process entail, then you should talk to an expert in whatever you want to achieve to get a better sense of the measures you need to take.\\nIf you focus on meeting small goals one at a time, then you’ll be much more likely to reach that larger goal than you would be if you were only focused on crawling toward that big picture. For example, if you want to write the first draft of a novel, break it up chapter by chapter.\\nYou’ll have to learn to ignore all of the doubters along the way. There will be plenty of people who will want you to feel like there’s no way you can succeed. Don’t let them stop you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Deal with rejection constructively.\", \"描述\": \"Some people let too much discouragement get them down. However, if you’re really stubborn about getting what you want and doing what’s best for you, then you have to be able to accept all of the people who are telling you you can’t get what you want. Whether you’re trying to land a role in a film, find an agent for your novel, or make the volleyball team, tell yourself that if you keep trying, you’ll be able to do whatever you want, no matter what people say.\\nRemind yourself that most great people have dealt with their fair share of rejection before becoming successes. Michael Jordan didn’t even make his high school basketball team! Let that rejection motivate you to keep working instead of bringing you down.\\nThat said, you shouldn’t ignore the rejection all together. If everyone who is rejecting you is telling you the same thing, then you may be able to use the advice you’re getting to improve.\\nThe most important thing is that you’re confident in what you’re doing. If you really believe in what you want and know you deserve it, then it’ll be easier to deal with the rejection.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting What You Want at All Costs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a broken record.\", \"描述\": \"So you’ve tried to be nice, and that has gotten you nowhere. If you feel like you’ve tried being diplomatic, kind, and understanding and you’re no better off than you were when you started, then you may need to take a different approach. Sure, you may be a bit annoying by being a broken record and repeating what you want again and again, but who says it won’t help you get what you want?”\\nContinue saying what you want, or talking about what you want, until the person you’re talking to is so frustrated with you or annoyed that he just gives in. Sure, it won’t be pretty, but it’ll help you get closer to where you need to go.\\nJust fold your arms over your chest and say what you want. Be firm in what you believe and don’t be ashamed of acting this way! If you’ve tried to be nice, then you need to try a different approach.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Refuse to move until you get what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be truly stubborn is simply not to budge until the person you’re with gives in to your demands. This can mean staying in your seat at a restaurant long after you’ve eaten your meal, staying at home when you and the person you’re with need to get going somewhere, or even stopping and sitting down on the ground wherever you want until you get what you want. Sure, this may embarrass the person you’re with, but if you really don’t care about that, then this may be the best way to get what you’re asking for!\\nThis can be especially effective if the person is really depending on you to get up, like if you’re supposed to be giving him a ride somewhere.\\nSure, this may not be the most sophisticated approach, but it may be the most effective. Some people will quickly give in in the face of embarrassment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Completely ignore the person who doesn’t agree with you.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be stubborn is to just ignore the person who is telling you you can’t do a certain thing. Act like you literally can’t hear the person until he or she lets you have what you want. This can mean blankly staring at the person in front of you, as if you don’t hear him or her turning you down at all, putting your fingers in your ears and saying, “I can’t hear you!” or just shrugging and walking away.\\nSure, this isn’t the world’s most mature approach, but if you’re really determined to get what you want, then this may help you get it at any cost.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bargain.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be stubborn and to get whatever you want is to bargain with the person you’re asking for help. Think for a minute and see if there’s something you can do for the person, so it feels less like a give give, and more like a give and take. If you have some ideas for how you can be of use to the person, then this will make it feel more like an exchange than a case of you just getting what you want.\\nFor example, you can ask your mother to let you hang out with your friends in exchange for doing the laundry over the weekend for her. This will make your question much more appealing.\\nIf you want to borrow your sister’s sweater, offer to let her borrow the new dress of yours that she really likes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get emotional.\", \"描述\": \"Though this is a cheap trick, sometimes shedding a tear or two can help you get what you want, especially if you’re in public. If your parents, siblings, or person you’re with won’t let you get your way, try getting really upset, crying, throwing a bit of a fit, or just showing how much you want whatever you’re not getting. Not only will this emphasize how much you want to get whatever you’re asking for, but it will also have the bonus effect of embarrassing the person you’re with into letting you have your way.\\nIf you don’t care about embarrassing yourself, try asking for whatever you want in an extra public place and then have a meltdown when you don’t get what you want so the person you’re with gets extra embarrassed. If this doesn’t backfire and make the person even more angry with you, it can actually be just embarrassing enough that you may win.\\nYou can practice your hissy fit in advance if you think that’ll make your act more convincing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t forget your reasons for wanting what you want.\", \"描述\": \"At the end of the day, being stubborn is all about sticking to your guns and getting what you want—and what you deserve. If you lose sight of your goals or needs, then you’ll be likely to give in to people or to give up because it’s simply easier than creating conflict. However, if you repeat what you want and why you want it to yourself, or even write it down on a piece of paper and read it over periodically, then you’ll be more likely to be stubborn about what you want—and to get it.\\nSure, it’s easier to shrug your shoulders and say that you’ll be okay with not getting what you want, but if that’s your attitude, then you’ll never be happy.\\nRemember that being stubborn is a good thing when it comes to following your heart and asking for what you really want in life. Be proud of yourself for being firm, sticking up for yourself, and not letting other people boss you around.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Know when to relent. You don't want to become the boss of everyone.\\n\", \"Don't take it overboard. Stubbornness can easily become irritating and demanding.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't let being stubborn take over your life.\\n\", \"Being stubborn can push people away. Your way isn't always the right way - other people have opinions too.\\n\", \"Being stubborn is sometimes described as a negative quality. These steps should really only be used in situations where it is absolutely necessary.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,191 | How to Be Studious | 1. Getting into a Studious Mindset
1-1. Learn to focus
People are becoming more and more dependent on technology these days, and it can make focusing on any one task for a long period time a bit more challenging. You may be used to checking your email or phone every 15 minutes, but if you’re really committed to being studious, then you have to work on having intense concentration for 30, 45, or even 60 minutes at a time. You can train your mind to focus more as you build up to a higher focus time if you’re committed to doing so.
Remove distractions before you get started, as they can steal your focus. For example, put your phone in another room and avoid trying to study while watching TV.
Monitor yourself and be hyper aware of when your mind is drifting. If something else is bothering you, tell yourself that you’ll devote 15 solid minutes to it instead of letting it interfere with your thinking.
Taking breaks is just as important as focusing. You’ll need to take a 10-minute break at least every hour so that your mind can refocus its energy.
1-2. Read the course material before you study it in class.
For example, you might read the next day's chapter in your textbook the night before. This will help you better understand what the teacher is talking about in class. Additionally, you'll be able to identify areas where you might have questions or need more explanation. This allows you ask your teacher questions during class.
1-3. Pay attention in class
One important part of being studious is paying attention in class. Learn to absorb everything your teacher is saying and to really understand the material. Work to avoid as many distractions as you can and to not get lost in side conversations with your friends. Read along with your teacher and make sure you don’t waste class time staring at the clock or studying for other classes. Make a point of being attentive and of not letting your mind wander; if it does wander, just take a note of it and bring it back.
If you don’t understand something, don’t be reluctant to ask questions; being studious doesn’t mean knowing everything, but it does mean committing to your studies.
If you can choose seats, then sitting close to your teacher can help you build a rapport with him and to pay more attention because you’ll feel more accountable.
1-4. Participate in class
People who are studious participate in class because they are active and engaged in the learning process. They answer questions when their teachers ask them, they raise their hands when they have questions, and they volunteer for activities when they are asked. You don’t have to answer every question and should give other students a chance, but you should actively and consistently be part of the class discussion.
Although answering questions or sharing your opinion can be a great way to participate, asking good questions is also an excellent way to participate in class. Don't feel like you have to have all of the answers.
Participating in class also makes you feel more engaged and excited about the learning material. It can help you absorb the material and to do better in school.
1-5. Make studying a priority
Being studious doesn’t mean pushing all of your other interests aside. However, it does mean that you should make your studies a high priority in your life. When balancing your friends, your family time, and your extracurricular activities along with your studies, you should make sure not to neglect your studies, and to make sure that your social time doesn’t get in the way of your grades. Keeping a planner can help you make sure that you have time for studying along with your other obligations.
You might need to make sacrifices to make sure you have time to study, but it will be worth it in the long run.
Plug studies into your daily schedule. It’s important to make time for them almost every single day, so you don’t end up getting distracted with other clubs, hobbies, or social events.
You need to learn when studying works best for you. Some people like to study right after school, when their studies are fresh in their mind, while others like to take a few hours off to relax. Keep in mind, however, that most people learn best earlier in the day. At nighttime, your brain naturally starts to slow down.
1-6. Don’t expect perfection
Being studious doesn’t mean being the class valedictorian. It means making a serious and long commitment to your studies. If you expect yourself to be the most high-achieving student in your grade, then you’ll be setting a very high bar for yourself. While this can be a private goal, what’s most important is that you work on doing the best that you’re capable of so that you don’t end up feeling disappointed or inadequate or putting too much pressure on yourself.
Being studious doesn’t mean being the highest achieving student in your school. It means studying to the best of your own abilities, and to always aim for improvement.
If you expect yourself to never get a wrong answer, that can actually lead you to feel more frustrated and will make you less likely to succeed. If you get obsessed with the fact that you don’t know the answer to one of the questions on a test, then this will keep you from focusing on the rest of the questions.
1-7. Take notes in class
Taking notes in class will help you focus on the material, process the words your teacher is saying, and to stay active and engaged even if you’re feeling tired. You can even take notes with different pens, different highlighters, or post-its to mark particularly important passages. Find what works best to you and be committed to taking the most thorough and comprehensive notes possible if you want to be studious.
You might try different note taking strategies to see what works best for you. For example, you might create an outline of the lecture as you take notes, or you might use your own shorthand. You could also create a mindmap, which works especially well for visual learners. Another option is to use the Cornell method. Draw a vertical line down your page, dividing it into a 2 in (5.1 cm) section on the left and a 6 in (15 cm) section on the right. Take your notes on the right, skipping lines between points. Then, you can label each section on the left side after the lecture, making it easy to use your notes while studying.
If you really want to be studious, then you can work on putting your teacher’s lectures into your own words. That way, you’re not just jotting down everything he says, but you’re making an effort to really understand the material.
Try review your notes every day so you can clarify anything you didn’t understand with the teacher the following day.
1-8. Get organized
People who are studious are usually well-organized so that they don’t waste any time looking for their notes, homework, or textbooks. If you’re disorganized, then you should work on having different binders for different subjects, spending a few minutes a day cleaning your desk or locker, and making sure that you’ve split up your work into different compartments so you can stay focus and not get overwhelmed. You may think that some people are just naturally more messy than others, but you can still work on developing the habits of an organized person if you want to be studious.
An easy way to stay organized is to dedicate 1 notebook and 1 folder to each class. Then, keep all of your materials related to that class in the designated notebook/folder.
If you spend just 15 minutes a day putting everything in its place, both in your bedroom and your locker or notebooks, then you’ll be able to maintain an organized lifestyle.
Being neat is a part of being organized. Don’t throw any crumpled papers in your bag, and make sure to keep your personal, fun items away from your study items.
1-9. Don’t worry about other people
If you want to truly be studious, then you have to stop comparing yourself to other people. Don’t try to get the same grades as the girl sitting next to you in Algebra class, and don’t try to get the honor roll like your brother or best friend unless you think it’s a realistic goal. The most important thing is that you do the best that you can do instead of comparing yourself to other people. If you’re too focused on other people then you’ll never be happy with your own achievements and won’t be studying with a positive mindset.
The best thing you can do if you know there’s someone in your class who is more knowledgeable than you is to suggest a study date so you can pick that person’s brain. Think of people with knowledge as assets, not threats.
2. Developing Strong Study Habits
2-1. Create an agenda
If you want to develop strong study habits, then one of the first things you should do is to create a plan for your next study session. If you just sit down with your textbooks without a clear idea of what to do, then you’re likely to feel overwhelmed, to spend too much time on less important things, or to get sidetracked. To make your study time as productive and as efficient as possible, you should block off your studying time into 15 to 30 minute increments, making a game plan for each block of time so you know exactly what to do. Also, create a part of your day that is reserved for studying.That way, you always have time to study.
Having an agenda also makes you feel more motivated. If you have a list of items to accomplish and check them off one by one, then you’ll feel more accomplished than if you were just to study for three hours without any real direction.
Blocking off each item for a certain amount of time can also help keep you focused. You don’t want to stray by studying something not so important for too long and ignoring more essential concepts.
You can also create an agenda for each week or month. If you have a big exam coming up, splitting up the material into week-long study sessions can make everything feel more manageable.
2-2. Create a studying plan
Knowing your learning style can help you have a sense of how you learn best. Every person has a different learning style, and one method of studying, such as flashcards, may be great for one learner and terrible for another. Many people also fall into more than one category. Here are the different learning styles and some tips for how to study according to how you learn best:
Visual. Visual learners learn best from using pictures, images, and spatial understanding. If you’re a visual learner, than charts and diagrams will be helpful to you, as will color-coding your notes based on subject matter. You can also use flow charts when taking notes to have a stronger visual image of the concepts.
Auditory. These learners learn best through sound. You may learn best by recording lectures and repeating them back to yourself, talking to experts, or participating in class discussion. You can also access audio books that can help you better understand and retain the information.
Physical/Kinesthetic. These types of learners learn best through using their bodies, their hands, and their senses of touch. Though it can be challenging to learn purely through this style, you can help yourself study by tracing words to reinforce learning, using the computer to test knowledge, and memorizing facts while walking.
If you have a learning disorder, it's important to get necessary accommodations to support your studies. In addition to audio books, you can also get note-taking assistance or audio recordings of lectures. If you're in high school, talk to your teacher or counselor to get the help you need. If you're in college, talk to your professor or student support services.
2-3. Take breaks.
Taking breaks is just as important as staying on task when it comes to developing strong study habits. No human is meant to spend eight hours straight in front of a computer, desk, or textbook, and it’s important to take those breaks so that you can regroup and gain more energy to study again. Make sure to take a 10-minute break every hour or hour and a half, or even more frequently if you really need one. Try to get some nourishment, sunshine, or exercise during your breaks.
Don’t think that you’re being lazy by taking study breaks. In fact, this will actually make you work harder when you return.
2-4. Avoid distractions
To make the most of your studying, you should try to avoid distractions as much as you can. Make a rule that you can only go on YouTube, Facebook, or your favorite celebrity gossip site during your study breaks, and turn your phone off during intense study sessions. Don’t sit next to people who are having loud, distracting conversations or who try to make small talk with you. Look around you and make sure there’s nothing that can take your mind off the task at hand.
If you’re really addicted to your phone or Facebook, tell yourself that you’ll study for an hour before you check either. This will get you more motivated to study in the meantime, when you know there’s a “reward.”
2-5. Study in the right environment.
There is no one right study environment for every person, and it’s your job to decide what works best for you. Some people prefer to study in an absolutely quiet space without any noise or people, such as their bedrooms, while others like the more vibrant coffee shop scene. Some people study best outdoors while others can only do their work in a library. You may be studying in the wrong environment without knowing it; try to find the best study space for yourself and you’ll see how much easier it is to be studious.
If you normally only study in your bedroom and think it’s too quiet, try a coffee shop for a change. If you’re sick of the din of a coffee shop, try a library, where you may be inspired by many quiet, studious people.
Listening to music while you study, such as on headphones, can help many people focus. However, it's best to choose instrumental music, as lyrics can create a distraction.
2-6. Bring what you need to study.
To make the most of your studying, you should make sure you come prepared. Wear clothes with lots of layers or bring a sweater so you don’t up getting uncomfortable because you’re too hot or too cold. Bring healthy snacks, such as peanut butter and celery, carrots, yogurt, almonds, or cashews so you have something to munch on that won’t give you a sugar high or make you feel tired. Come prepared with your notes, extra pens, a charged phone if you’ll need it later, and anything else you’ll need to keep yourself focused and ready to get down to business.
If you’re really set on a study session, you don’t want it to get ruined because you’re uncomfortable. Having a solid plan for what to bring in advance can help you study with success.
2-7. Take advantage of your resources
If you want to be studious, then you should know to take advantage of all of the help at your disposal. This could mean talking to your teachers, friends, or librarians for extra help, using your school library, or reading the online resources and additional recommended reading materials for your courses. The more resources you use, the more likely you’ll be to succeed and to truly be studious.
People who are studious are resourceful. When they’re not getting everything they need from a textbook, they turn to other people, other books, or other online resources for help.
3. Staying Motivated
3-1. Make small improvements.
To stay motivated during your work to become studious, you shouldn’t think you’ve failed if you didn’t go from having a C-average in Calculus to an A-average. Instead, you should be proud of yourself from moving from a C to a B-minus, and so on. When it comes to being studious and feeling motivated to succeed, you should work in increments or get disappointed and lose steam. Compare your progress to yourself, not others.
Chart your progress. When you see how much you’ve improved since the beginning of your commitment to be studious, you’ll be truly proud of yourself.
3-2. Find a way to be excited about the materials.
Though not every subject in school will fascinate you, you should try to find something you care about in each and every class. Maybe English isn’t your favorite subject, but you’ve found that A Separate Peace or Catcher in the Rye is your new favorite novel; you don’t have to like everything in school, but you should still look for something that truly fascinates you and motivates you to keep working.
If you find just a few things to care about in each class, you’ll be much more motivated to be studious. Remember that you’re not just studying to pass tests, but to truly acquire knowledge, and caring about what you’re learning can really help that.
3-3. Get a study buddy or study group.
Though working with a partner or a group doesn’t work for everyone, you should consider mixing it up and working to be studious with others, sometimes. You can learn a lot from working with other people, and they can help keep you focused and on-track. You may also find that you learn more from a close friend than from a teacher, and that you gain mastery of a subject after trying to teach it to your friends. Consider this study technique the next time you hit the books.
Some people are more social learners and they learn a lot better with others. If this is you, then you should try working with one friend first, and then opening your studies up to a study group.
Just make sure that your study groups actually spend most of their time studying with occasional breaks; you don’t want to get sucked into a situation that keeps you from learning the material.
3-4. Reward yourself for your hard work.
Being studious isn’t all about work, work, work. If you really want to make a lifelong goal of being studious, then you have to remember to take breaks, and to reward yourself for taking them. Every time you get your goal grade on a test, celebrate with ice cream or a night at the movies with your friends. Every time you study for three hours, reward yourself with your favorite trashy reality TV show. Find a way to motivate yourself to keep working and to reward yourself for all of the hard work you’ve put in along the way.
Any amount of work should be rewarded. Don’t feel like you don’t deserve a reward because you didn’t get the grades you were hoping for.
3-5. Remember to have fun.
Though you may think studious people never have fun, it’s actually very important to remember to relax and take a break every once in a while. If you’re only focused on your studies, then you’ll feel burned out and like you’re under a lot of pressure to keep up. Instead, reward yourself for studying by making time for your friends, your hobbies, or even some mindless activities like watching The Bachelor every once in a while. Taking breaks for fun will actually lead you to enjoy the learning experience more when you return to it, and will help you become studious.
3-6. Think about the big picture.
Another way to stay motivated is to remind yourself why you’re studying. It may not seem to have a meaning when you’re learning about the French Revolution or reading “The Raven,” but all of the little things you study can add up to make you a well-rounded, and interesting person. Getting stellar grades can also help you reach your ultimate education goals, whether you want to graduate college or get a PhD. Remind yourself that, while not every page you study will be fascinating, it will help lead to your future success.
If you get too hung up on the details, or think too much about one test at a time, you’ll take yourself too seriously. It’s about committing to study in the long term, not about working hard for an individual test. If you look at it as a marathon and not a sprint, then you won’t be putting too much pressure on yourself and you’ll still be able to study in the process.
Tips
Schedule your time wisely to avoid having stress due to unknown assignments.
Don't be someone you're not - if it's not in your nature to be studious, don't try to force yourself to be so.
Don't try too hard. Take it one step at a time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting into a Studious Mindset\\n1-1. Learn to focus\\nPeople are becoming more and more dependent on technology these days, and it can make focusing on any one task for a long period time a bit more challenging. You may be used to checking your email or phone every 15 minutes, but if you’re really committed to being studious, then you have to work on having intense concentration for 30, 45, or even 60 minutes at a time. You can train your mind to focus more as you build up to a higher focus time if you’re committed to doing so.\\nRemove distractions before you get started, as they can steal your focus. For example, put your phone in another room and avoid trying to study while watching TV.\\nMonitor yourself and be hyper aware of when your mind is drifting. If something else is bothering you, tell yourself that you’ll devote 15 solid minutes to it instead of letting it interfere with your thinking.\\nTaking breaks is just as important as focusing. You’ll need to take a 10-minute break at least every hour so that your mind can refocus its energy.\\n1-2. Read the course material before you study it in class.\\nFor example, you might read the next day's chapter in your textbook the night before. This will help you better understand what the teacher is talking about in class. Additionally, you'll be able to identify areas where you might have questions or need more explanation. This allows you ask your teacher questions during class.\\n1-3. Pay attention in class\\nOne important part of being studious is paying attention in class. Learn to absorb everything your teacher is saying and to really understand the material. Work to avoid as many distractions as you can and to not get lost in side conversations with your friends. Read along with your teacher and make sure you don’t waste class time staring at the clock or studying for other classes. Make a point of being attentive and of not letting your mind wander; if it does wander, just take a note of it and bring it back.\\nIf you don’t understand something, don’t be reluctant to ask questions; being studious doesn’t mean knowing everything, but it does mean committing to your studies.\\nIf you can choose seats, then sitting close to your teacher can help you build a rapport with him and to pay more attention because you’ll feel more accountable.\\n1-4. Participate in class\\nPeople who are studious participate in class because they are active and engaged in the learning process. They answer questions when their teachers ask them, they raise their hands when they have questions, and they volunteer for activities when they are asked. You don’t have to answer every question and should give other students a chance, but you should actively and consistently be part of the class discussion.\\nAlthough answering questions or sharing your opinion can be a great way to participate, asking good questions is also an excellent way to participate in class. Don't feel like you have to have all of the answers.\\nParticipating in class also makes you feel more engaged and excited about the learning material. It can help you absorb the material and to do better in school.\\n1-5. Make studying a priority\\nBeing studious doesn’t mean pushing all of your other interests aside. However, it does mean that you should make your studies a high priority in your life. When balancing your friends, your family time, and your extracurricular activities along with your studies, you should make sure not to neglect your studies, and to make sure that your social time doesn’t get in the way of your grades. Keeping a planner can help you make sure that you have time for studying along with your other obligations.\\nYou might need to make sacrifices to make sure you have time to study, but it will be worth it in the long run.\\nPlug studies into your daily schedule. It’s important to make time for them almost every single day, so you don’t end up getting distracted with other clubs, hobbies, or social events.\\nYou need to learn when studying works best for you. Some people like to study right after school, when their studies are fresh in their mind, while others like to take a few hours off to relax. Keep in mind, however, that most people learn best earlier in the day. At nighttime, your brain naturally starts to slow down.\\n1-6. Don’t expect perfection\\nBeing studious doesn’t mean being the class valedictorian. It means making a serious and long commitment to your studies. If you expect yourself to be the most high-achieving student in your grade, then you’ll be setting a very high bar for yourself. While this can be a private goal, what’s most important is that you work on doing the best that you’re capable of so that you don’t end up feeling disappointed or inadequate or putting too much pressure on yourself.\\nBeing studious doesn’t mean being the highest achieving student in your school. It means studying to the best of your own abilities, and to always aim for improvement.\\nIf you expect yourself to never get a wrong answer, that can actually lead you to feel more frustrated and will make you less likely to succeed. If you get obsessed with the fact that you don’t know the answer to one of the questions on a test, then this will keep you from focusing on the rest of the questions.\\n1-7. Take notes in class\\nTaking notes in class will help you focus on the material, process the words your teacher is saying, and to stay active and engaged even if you’re feeling tired. You can even take notes with different pens, different highlighters, or post-its to mark particularly important passages. Find what works best to you and be committed to taking the most thorough and comprehensive notes possible if you want to be studious.\\nYou might try different note taking strategies to see what works best for you. For example, you might create an outline of the lecture as you take notes, or you might use your own shorthand. You could also create a mindmap, which works especially well for visual learners. Another option is to use the Cornell method. Draw a vertical line down your page, dividing it into a 2 in (5.1 cm) section on the left and a 6 in (15 cm) section on the right. Take your notes on the right, skipping lines between points. Then, you can label each section on the left side after the lecture, making it easy to use your notes while studying.\\nIf you really want to be studious, then you can work on putting your teacher’s lectures into your own words. That way, you’re not just jotting down everything he says, but you’re making an effort to really understand the material.\\nTry review your notes every day so you can clarify anything you didn’t understand with the teacher the following day.\\n1-8. Get organized\\nPeople who are studious are usually well-organized so that they don’t waste any time looking for their notes, homework, or textbooks. If you’re disorganized, then you should work on having different binders for different subjects, spending a few minutes a day cleaning your desk or locker, and making sure that you’ve split up your work into different compartments so you can stay focus and not get overwhelmed. You may think that some people are just naturally more messy than others, but you can still work on developing the habits of an organized person if you want to be studious.\\nAn easy way to stay organized is to dedicate 1 notebook and 1 folder to each class. Then, keep all of your materials related to that class in the designated notebook/folder.\\nIf you spend just 15 minutes a day putting everything in its place, both in your bedroom and your locker or notebooks, then you’ll be able to maintain an organized lifestyle.\\nBeing neat is a part of being organized. Don’t throw any crumpled papers in your bag, and make sure to keep your personal, fun items away from your study items.\\n1-9. Don’t worry about other people\\nIf you want to truly be studious, then you have to stop comparing yourself to other people. Don’t try to get the same grades as the girl sitting next to you in Algebra class, and don’t try to get the honor roll like your brother or best friend unless you think it’s a realistic goal. The most important thing is that you do the best that you can do instead of comparing yourself to other people. If you’re too focused on other people then you’ll never be happy with your own achievements and won’t be studying with a positive mindset.\\nThe best thing you can do if you know there’s someone in your class who is more knowledgeable than you is to suggest a study date so you can pick that person’s brain. Think of people with knowledge as assets, not threats.\\n2. Developing Strong Study Habits\\n2-1. Create an agenda\\nIf you want to develop strong study habits, then one of the first things you should do is to create a plan for your next study session. If you just sit down with your textbooks without a clear idea of what to do, then you’re likely to feel overwhelmed, to spend too much time on less important things, or to get sidetracked. To make your study time as productive and as efficient as possible, you should block off your studying time into 15 to 30 minute increments, making a game plan for each block of time so you know exactly what to do. Also, create a part of your day that is reserved for studying.That way, you always have time to study.\\nHaving an agenda also makes you feel more motivated. If you have a list of items to accomplish and check them off one by one, then you’ll feel more accomplished than if you were just to study for three hours without any real direction.\\nBlocking off each item for a certain amount of time can also help keep you focused. You don’t want to stray by studying something not so important for too long and ignoring more essential concepts.\\nYou can also create an agenda for each week or month. If you have a big exam coming up, splitting up the material into week-long study sessions can make everything feel more manageable.\\n2-2. Create a studying plan\\nKnowing your learning style can help you have a sense of how you learn best. Every person has a different learning style, and one method of studying, such as flashcards, may be great for one learner and terrible for another. Many people also fall into more than one category. Here are the different learning styles and some tips for how to study according to how you learn best:\\n\\nVisual. Visual learners learn best from using pictures, images, and spatial understanding. If you’re a visual learner, than charts and diagrams will be helpful to you, as will color-coding your notes based on subject matter. You can also use flow charts when taking notes to have a stronger visual image of the concepts.\\nAuditory. These learners learn best through sound. You may learn best by recording lectures and repeating them back to yourself, talking to experts, or participating in class discussion. You can also access audio books that can help you better understand and retain the information.\\nPhysical/Kinesthetic. These types of learners learn best through using their bodies, their hands, and their senses of touch. Though it can be challenging to learn purely through this style, you can help yourself study by tracing words to reinforce learning, using the computer to test knowledge, and memorizing facts while walking.\\nIf you have a learning disorder, it's important to get necessary accommodations to support your studies. In addition to audio books, you can also get note-taking assistance or audio recordings of lectures. If you're in high school, talk to your teacher or counselor to get the help you need. If you're in college, talk to your professor or student support services.\\n2-3. Take breaks.\\nTaking breaks is just as important as staying on task when it comes to developing strong study habits. No human is meant to spend eight hours straight in front of a computer, desk, or textbook, and it’s important to take those breaks so that you can regroup and gain more energy to study again. Make sure to take a 10-minute break every hour or hour and a half, or even more frequently if you really need one. Try to get some nourishment, sunshine, or exercise during your breaks.\\nDon’t think that you’re being lazy by taking study breaks. In fact, this will actually make you work harder when you return.\\n2-4. Avoid distractions\\nTo make the most of your studying, you should try to avoid distractions as much as you can. Make a rule that you can only go on YouTube, Facebook, or your favorite celebrity gossip site during your study breaks, and turn your phone off during intense study sessions. Don’t sit next to people who are having loud, distracting conversations or who try to make small talk with you. Look around you and make sure there’s nothing that can take your mind off the task at hand.\\nIf you’re really addicted to your phone or Facebook, tell yourself that you’ll study for an hour before you check either. This will get you more motivated to study in the meantime, when you know there’s a “reward.”\\n2-5. Study in the right environment.\\nThere is no one right study environment for every person, and it’s your job to decide what works best for you. Some people prefer to study in an absolutely quiet space without any noise or people, such as their bedrooms, while others like the more vibrant coffee shop scene. Some people study best outdoors while others can only do their work in a library. You may be studying in the wrong environment without knowing it; try to find the best study space for yourself and you’ll see how much easier it is to be studious.\\nIf you normally only study in your bedroom and think it’s too quiet, try a coffee shop for a change. If you’re sick of the din of a coffee shop, try a library, where you may be inspired by many quiet, studious people.\\nListening to music while you study, such as on headphones, can help many people focus. However, it's best to choose instrumental music, as lyrics can create a distraction.\\n2-6. Bring what you need to study.\\nTo make the most of your studying, you should make sure you come prepared. Wear clothes with lots of layers or bring a sweater so you don’t up getting uncomfortable because you’re too hot or too cold. Bring healthy snacks, such as peanut butter and celery, carrots, yogurt, almonds, or cashews so you have something to munch on that won’t give you a sugar high or make you feel tired. Come prepared with your notes, extra pens, a charged phone if you’ll need it later, and anything else you’ll need to keep yourself focused and ready to get down to business.\\nIf you’re really set on a study session, you don’t want it to get ruined because you’re uncomfortable. Having a solid plan for what to bring in advance can help you study with success.\\n2-7. Take advantage of your resources\\nIf you want to be studious, then you should know to take advantage of all of the help at your disposal. This could mean talking to your teachers, friends, or librarians for extra help, using your school library, or reading the online resources and additional recommended reading materials for your courses. The more resources you use, the more likely you’ll be to succeed and to truly be studious.\\nPeople who are studious are resourceful. When they’re not getting everything they need from a textbook, they turn to other people, other books, or other online resources for help.\\n3. Staying Motivated\\n3-1. Make small improvements.\\nTo stay motivated during your work to become studious, you shouldn’t think you’ve failed if you didn’t go from having a C-average in Calculus to an A-average. Instead, you should be proud of yourself from moving from a C to a B-minus, and so on. When it comes to being studious and feeling motivated to succeed, you should work in increments or get disappointed and lose steam. Compare your progress to yourself, not others.\\nChart your progress. When you see how much you’ve improved since the beginning of your commitment to be studious, you’ll be truly proud of yourself.\\n3-2. Find a way to be excited about the materials.\\nThough not every subject in school will fascinate you, you should try to find something you care about in each and every class. Maybe English isn’t your favorite subject, but you’ve found that A Separate Peace or Catcher in the Rye is your new favorite novel; you don’t have to like everything in school, but you should still look for something that truly fascinates you and motivates you to keep working.\\nIf you find just a few things to care about in each class, you’ll be much more motivated to be studious. Remember that you’re not just studying to pass tests, but to truly acquire knowledge, and caring about what you’re learning can really help that.\\n3-3. Get a study buddy or study group.\\nThough working with a partner or a group doesn’t work for everyone, you should consider mixing it up and working to be studious with others, sometimes. You can learn a lot from working with other people, and they can help keep you focused and on-track. You may also find that you learn more from a close friend than from a teacher, and that you gain mastery of a subject after trying to teach it to your friends. Consider this study technique the next time you hit the books.\\nSome people are more social learners and they learn a lot better with others. If this is you, then you should try working with one friend first, and then opening your studies up to a study group.\\nJust make sure that your study groups actually spend most of their time studying with occasional breaks; you don’t want to get sucked into a situation that keeps you from learning the material.\\n3-4. Reward yourself for your hard work.\\nBeing studious isn’t all about work, work, work. If you really want to make a lifelong goal of being studious, then you have to remember to take breaks, and to reward yourself for taking them. Every time you get your goal grade on a test, celebrate with ice cream or a night at the movies with your friends. Every time you study for three hours, reward yourself with your favorite trashy reality TV show. Find a way to motivate yourself to keep working and to reward yourself for all of the hard work you’ve put in along the way.\\nAny amount of work should be rewarded. Don’t feel like you don’t deserve a reward because you didn’t get the grades you were hoping for.\\n3-5. Remember to have fun.\\nThough you may think studious people never have fun, it’s actually very important to remember to relax and take a break every once in a while. If you’re only focused on your studies, then you’ll feel burned out and like you’re under a lot of pressure to keep up. Instead, reward yourself for studying by making time for your friends, your hobbies, or even some mindless activities like watching The Bachelor every once in a while. Taking breaks for fun will actually lead you to enjoy the learning experience more when you return to it, and will help you become studious.\\n3-6. Think about the big picture.\\nAnother way to stay motivated is to remind yourself why you’re studying. It may not seem to have a meaning when you’re learning about the French Revolution or reading “The Raven,” but all of the little things you study can add up to make you a well-rounded, and interesting person. Getting stellar grades can also help you reach your ultimate education goals, whether you want to graduate college or get a PhD. Remind yourself that, while not every page you study will be fascinating, it will help lead to your future success.\\nIf you get too hung up on the details, or think too much about one test at a time, you’ll take yourself too seriously. It’s about committing to study in the long term, not about working hard for an individual test. If you look at it as a marathon and not a sprint, then you won’t be putting too much pressure on yourself and you’ll still be able to study in the process.\\nTips\\nSchedule your time wisely to avoid having stress due to unknown assignments.\\nDon't be someone you're not - if it's not in your nature to be studious, don't try to force yourself to be so.\\nDon't try too hard. Take it one step at a time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being studious means being serious about and committed to learning and educating oneself. People who are studious still know how to have fun, but they make their studies a priority and stick to a thorough and comprehensive study plan; but being studious is about more than just studying a lot — it’s about getting into a mindset that allows you to be excited about gaining knowledge. Since being studious is a habit, you can create this trait in yourself by adopting this mindset and regularly engaging in studious habits.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting into a Studious Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to focus\", \"描述\": \"People are becoming more and more dependent on technology these days, and it can make focusing on any one task for a long period time a bit more challenging. You may be used to checking your email or phone every 15 minutes, but if you’re really committed to being studious, then you have to work on having intense concentration for 30, 45, or even 60 minutes at a time. You can train your mind to focus more as you build up to a higher focus time if you’re committed to doing so.\\nRemove distractions before you get started, as they can steal your focus. For example, put your phone in another room and avoid trying to study while watching TV.\\nMonitor yourself and be hyper aware of when your mind is drifting. If something else is bothering you, tell yourself that you’ll devote 15 solid minutes to it instead of letting it interfere with your thinking.\\nTaking breaks is just as important as focusing. You’ll need to take a 10-minute break at least every hour so that your mind can refocus its energy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read the course material before you study it in class.\", \"描述\": \"For example, you might read the next day's chapter in your textbook the night before. This will help you better understand what the teacher is talking about in class. Additionally, you'll be able to identify areas where you might have questions or need more explanation. This allows you ask your teacher questions during class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention in class\", \"描述\": \"One important part of being studious is paying attention in class. Learn to absorb everything your teacher is saying and to really understand the material. Work to avoid as many distractions as you can and to not get lost in side conversations with your friends. Read along with your teacher and make sure you don’t waste class time staring at the clock or studying for other classes. Make a point of being attentive and of not letting your mind wander; if it does wander, just take a note of it and bring it back.\\nIf you don’t understand something, don’t be reluctant to ask questions; being studious doesn’t mean knowing everything, but it does mean committing to your studies.\\nIf you can choose seats, then sitting close to your teacher can help you build a rapport with him and to pay more attention because you’ll feel more accountable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Participate in class\", \"描述\": \"People who are studious participate in class because they are active and engaged in the learning process. They answer questions when their teachers ask them, they raise their hands when they have questions, and they volunteer for activities when they are asked. You don’t have to answer every question and should give other students a chance, but you should actively and consistently be part of the class discussion.\\nAlthough answering questions or sharing your opinion can be a great way to participate, asking good questions is also an excellent way to participate in class. Don't feel like you have to have all of the answers.\\nParticipating in class also makes you feel more engaged and excited about the learning material. It can help you absorb the material and to do better in school.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make studying a priority\", \"描述\": \"Being studious doesn’t mean pushing all of your other interests aside. However, it does mean that you should make your studies a high priority in your life. When balancing your friends, your family time, and your extracurricular activities along with your studies, you should make sure not to neglect your studies, and to make sure that your social time doesn’t get in the way of your grades. Keeping a planner can help you make sure that you have time for studying along with your other obligations.\\nYou might need to make sacrifices to make sure you have time to study, but it will be worth it in the long run.\\nPlug studies into your daily schedule. It’s important to make time for them almost every single day, so you don’t end up getting distracted with other clubs, hobbies, or social events.\\nYou need to learn when studying works best for you. Some people like to study right after school, when their studies are fresh in their mind, while others like to take a few hours off to relax. Keep in mind, however, that most people learn best earlier in the day. At nighttime, your brain naturally starts to slow down.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t expect perfection\", \"描述\": \"Being studious doesn’t mean being the class valedictorian. It means making a serious and long commitment to your studies. If you expect yourself to be the most high-achieving student in your grade, then you’ll be setting a very high bar for yourself. While this can be a private goal, what’s most important is that you work on doing the best that you’re capable of so that you don’t end up feeling disappointed or inadequate or putting too much pressure on yourself.\\nBeing studious doesn’t mean being the highest achieving student in your school. It means studying to the best of your own abilities, and to always aim for improvement.\\nIf you expect yourself to never get a wrong answer, that can actually lead you to feel more frustrated and will make you less likely to succeed. If you get obsessed with the fact that you don’t know the answer to one of the questions on a test, then this will keep you from focusing on the rest of the questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take notes in class\", \"描述\": \"Taking notes in class will help you focus on the material, process the words your teacher is saying, and to stay active and engaged even if you’re feeling tired. You can even take notes with different pens, different highlighters, or post-its to mark particularly important passages. Find what works best to you and be committed to taking the most thorough and comprehensive notes possible if you want to be studious.\\nYou might try different note taking strategies to see what works best for you. For example, you might create an outline of the lecture as you take notes, or you might use your own shorthand. You could also create a mindmap, which works especially well for visual learners. Another option is to use the Cornell method. Draw a vertical line down your page, dividing it into a 2 in (5.1 cm) section on the left and a 6 in (15 cm) section on the right. Take your notes on the right, skipping lines between points. Then, you can label each section on the left side after the lecture, making it easy to use your notes while studying.\\nIf you really want to be studious, then you can work on putting your teacher’s lectures into your own words. That way, you’re not just jotting down everything he says, but you’re making an effort to really understand the material.\\nTry review your notes every day so you can clarify anything you didn’t understand with the teacher the following day.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Get organized\", \"描述\": \"People who are studious are usually well-organized so that they don’t waste any time looking for their notes, homework, or textbooks. If you’re disorganized, then you should work on having different binders for different subjects, spending a few minutes a day cleaning your desk or locker, and making sure that you’ve split up your work into different compartments so you can stay focus and not get overwhelmed. You may think that some people are just naturally more messy than others, but you can still work on developing the habits of an organized person if you want to be studious.\\nAn easy way to stay organized is to dedicate 1 notebook and 1 folder to each class. Then, keep all of your materials related to that class in the designated notebook/folder.\\nIf you spend just 15 minutes a day putting everything in its place, both in your bedroom and your locker or notebooks, then you’ll be able to maintain an organized lifestyle.\\nBeing neat is a part of being organized. Don’t throw any crumpled papers in your bag, and make sure to keep your personal, fun items away from your study items.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don’t worry about other people\", \"描述\": \"If you want to truly be studious, then you have to stop comparing yourself to other people. Don’t try to get the same grades as the girl sitting next to you in Algebra class, and don’t try to get the honor roll like your brother or best friend unless you think it’s a realistic goal. The most important thing is that you do the best that you can do instead of comparing yourself to other people. If you’re too focused on other people then you’ll never be happy with your own achievements and won’t be studying with a positive mindset.\\nThe best thing you can do if you know there’s someone in your class who is more knowledgeable than you is to suggest a study date so you can pick that person’s brain. Think of people with knowledge as assets, not threats.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Strong Study Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create an agenda\", \"描述\": \"If you want to develop strong study habits, then one of the first things you should do is to create a plan for your next study session. If you just sit down with your textbooks without a clear idea of what to do, then you’re likely to feel overwhelmed, to spend too much time on less important things, or to get sidetracked. To make your study time as productive and as efficient as possible, you should block off your studying time into 15 to 30 minute increments, making a game plan for each block of time so you know exactly what to do. Also, create a part of your day that is reserved for studying.That way, you always have time to study.\\nHaving an agenda also makes you feel more motivated. If you have a list of items to accomplish and check them off one by one, then you’ll feel more accomplished than if you were just to study for three hours without any real direction.\\nBlocking off each item for a certain amount of time can also help keep you focused. You don’t want to stray by studying something not so important for too long and ignoring more essential concepts.\\nYou can also create an agenda for each week or month. If you have a big exam coming up, splitting up the material into week-long study sessions can make everything feel more manageable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a studying plan\", \"描述\": \"Knowing your learning style can help you have a sense of how you learn best. Every person has a different learning style, and one method of studying, such as flashcards, may be great for one learner and terrible for another. Many people also fall into more than one category. Here are the different learning styles and some tips for how to study according to how you learn best:\\n\\nVisual. Visual learners learn best from using pictures, images, and spatial understanding. If you’re a visual learner, than charts and diagrams will be helpful to you, as will color-coding your notes based on subject matter. You can also use flow charts when taking notes to have a stronger visual image of the concepts.\\nAuditory. These learners learn best through sound. You may learn best by recording lectures and repeating them back to yourself, talking to experts, or participating in class discussion. You can also access audio books that can help you better understand and retain the information.\\nPhysical/Kinesthetic. These types of learners learn best through using their bodies, their hands, and their senses of touch. Though it can be challenging to learn purely through this style, you can help yourself study by tracing words to reinforce learning, using the computer to test knowledge, and memorizing facts while walking.\\nIf you have a learning disorder, it's important to get necessary accommodations to support your studies. In addition to audio books, you can also get note-taking assistance or audio recordings of lectures. If you're in high school, talk to your teacher or counselor to get the help you need. If you're in college, talk to your professor or student support services.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take breaks.\", \"描述\": \"Taking breaks is just as important as staying on task when it comes to developing strong study habits. No human is meant to spend eight hours straight in front of a computer, desk, or textbook, and it’s important to take those breaks so that you can regroup and gain more energy to study again. Make sure to take a 10-minute break every hour or hour and a half, or even more frequently if you really need one. Try to get some nourishment, sunshine, or exercise during your breaks.\\nDon’t think that you’re being lazy by taking study breaks. In fact, this will actually make you work harder when you return.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid distractions\", \"描述\": \"To make the most of your studying, you should try to avoid distractions as much as you can. Make a rule that you can only go on YouTube, Facebook, or your favorite celebrity gossip site during your study breaks, and turn your phone off during intense study sessions. Don’t sit next to people who are having loud, distracting conversations or who try to make small talk with you. Look around you and make sure there’s nothing that can take your mind off the task at hand.\\nIf you’re really addicted to your phone or Facebook, tell yourself that you’ll study for an hour before you check either. This will get you more motivated to study in the meantime, when you know there’s a “reward.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Study in the right environment.\", \"描述\": \"There is no one right study environment for every person, and it’s your job to decide what works best for you. Some people prefer to study in an absolutely quiet space without any noise or people, such as their bedrooms, while others like the more vibrant coffee shop scene. Some people study best outdoors while others can only do their work in a library. You may be studying in the wrong environment without knowing it; try to find the best study space for yourself and you’ll see how much easier it is to be studious.\\nIf you normally only study in your bedroom and think it’s too quiet, try a coffee shop for a change. If you’re sick of the din of a coffee shop, try a library, where you may be inspired by many quiet, studious people.\\nListening to music while you study, such as on headphones, can help many people focus. However, it's best to choose instrumental music, as lyrics can create a distraction.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Bring what you need to study.\", \"描述\": \"To make the most of your studying, you should make sure you come prepared. Wear clothes with lots of layers or bring a sweater so you don’t up getting uncomfortable because you’re too hot or too cold. Bring healthy snacks, such as peanut butter and celery, carrots, yogurt, almonds, or cashews so you have something to munch on that won’t give you a sugar high or make you feel tired. Come prepared with your notes, extra pens, a charged phone if you’ll need it later, and anything else you’ll need to keep yourself focused and ready to get down to business.\\nIf you’re really set on a study session, you don’t want it to get ruined because you’re uncomfortable. Having a solid plan for what to bring in advance can help you study with success.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take advantage of your resources\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be studious, then you should know to take advantage of all of the help at your disposal. This could mean talking to your teachers, friends, or librarians for extra help, using your school library, or reading the online resources and additional recommended reading materials for your courses. The more resources you use, the more likely you’ll be to succeed and to truly be studious.\\nPeople who are studious are resourceful. When they’re not getting everything they need from a textbook, they turn to other people, other books, or other online resources for help.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Motivated\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make small improvements.\", \"描述\": \"To stay motivated during your work to become studious, you shouldn’t think you’ve failed if you didn’t go from having a C-average in Calculus to an A-average. Instead, you should be proud of yourself from moving from a C to a B-minus, and so on. When it comes to being studious and feeling motivated to succeed, you should work in increments or get disappointed and lose steam. Compare your progress to yourself, not others.\\nChart your progress. When you see how much you’ve improved since the beginning of your commitment to be studious, you’ll be truly proud of yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a way to be excited about the materials.\", \"描述\": \"Though not every subject in school will fascinate you, you should try to find something you care about in each and every class. Maybe English isn’t your favorite subject, but you’ve found that A Separate Peace or Catcher in the Rye is your new favorite novel; you don’t have to like everything in school, but you should still look for something that truly fascinates you and motivates you to keep working.\\nIf you find just a few things to care about in each class, you’ll be much more motivated to be studious. Remember that you’re not just studying to pass tests, but to truly acquire knowledge, and caring about what you’re learning can really help that.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get a study buddy or study group.\", \"描述\": \"Though working with a partner or a group doesn’t work for everyone, you should consider mixing it up and working to be studious with others, sometimes. You can learn a lot from working with other people, and they can help keep you focused and on-track. You may also find that you learn more from a close friend than from a teacher, and that you gain mastery of a subject after trying to teach it to your friends. Consider this study technique the next time you hit the books.\\nSome people are more social learners and they learn a lot better with others. If this is you, then you should try working with one friend first, and then opening your studies up to a study group.\\nJust make sure that your study groups actually spend most of their time studying with occasional breaks; you don’t want to get sucked into a situation that keeps you from learning the material.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reward yourself for your hard work.\", \"描述\": \"Being studious isn’t all about work, work, work. If you really want to make a lifelong goal of being studious, then you have to remember to take breaks, and to reward yourself for taking them. Every time you get your goal grade on a test, celebrate with ice cream or a night at the movies with your friends. Every time you study for three hours, reward yourself with your favorite trashy reality TV show. Find a way to motivate yourself to keep working and to reward yourself for all of the hard work you’ve put in along the way.\\nAny amount of work should be rewarded. Don’t feel like you don’t deserve a reward because you didn’t get the grades you were hoping for.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remember to have fun.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may think studious people never have fun, it’s actually very important to remember to relax and take a break every once in a while. If you’re only focused on your studies, then you’ll feel burned out and like you’re under a lot of pressure to keep up. Instead, reward yourself for studying by making time for your friends, your hobbies, or even some mindless activities like watching The Bachelor every once in a while. Taking breaks for fun will actually lead you to enjoy the learning experience more when you return to it, and will help you become studious.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think about the big picture.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to stay motivated is to remind yourself why you’re studying. It may not seem to have a meaning when you’re learning about the French Revolution or reading “The Raven,” but all of the little things you study can add up to make you a well-rounded, and interesting person. Getting stellar grades can also help you reach your ultimate education goals, whether you want to graduate college or get a PhD. Remind yourself that, while not every page you study will be fascinating, it will help lead to your future success.\\nIf you get too hung up on the details, or think too much about one test at a time, you’ll take yourself too seriously. It’s about committing to study in the long term, not about working hard for an individual test. If you look at it as a marathon and not a sprint, then you won’t be putting too much pressure on yourself and you’ll still be able to study in the process.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Schedule your time wisely to avoid having stress due to unknown assignments.\\n\", \"Don't be someone you're not - if it's not in your nature to be studious, don't try to force yourself to be so.\\n\", \"Don't try too hard. Take it one step at a time.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,192 | How to Be Stylish | 1. Wear clothes that flatter your body type.
When your clothes fit well, you'll instantly look put-together.
The first thing to do to look effortlessly stylish is to make sure that you’re wearing clothes that you feel are good for your body type. Since effortless style is supposed to be subtle, you’ll need well fitting clothes in order to get the elegant, expensive, stylish look from your clothing. You may want garments that make you look thinner and the perfect height, with everything in proportion.
2. Stick to classic cuts.
Effortless style is mainly based around classic looks.
Dressing for current trends just shows that you put way too much thought into that outfit and that you’ve been following fashion news like a broker watching stocks. Choose classic styles in classic cuts for a more effortless look that looks good for years.
This means women should beware of floor length casual dresses in favor of knee-length, for example, while men should shy away from skinny-legged suit trousers in favor of something more loose-fitting.
Trends should only take up about 20% of your wardrobe. Your primary investment should be buying the best quality you can afford.
3. Choose muted, neutral colors and bold accents.
Neutral colors pretty much never go out of style.
What colors are popular and what colors are considered absolutely hideous is very dependent on time and place. Just look at your mom’s clothes from the 1970s, for example. In order to look effortlessly stylish, you’re going to want a more timeless look, which means sticking to more muted and neutral colors. This can, however, be broken up with bold accent colors, especially on accessories.
Muted colors include tan, black, white, denim/navy blue, and gray.
Good accent colors include most shades of red, many shades of blue, plum/eggplant purple, golden yellow (like rubber ducks or tulips), and emerald green.
Be careful of certain colors. Be wary of other greens and yellows, and generally avoid oranges, as these colors are very prone to going in and out of fashion, but, if you think they are stylish, go for it.
4. Avoid busy prints and textures.
Busy prints and textures can quickly make an outfit look dated and unstylish.
Trends like fuzzy/fluffy/feathered fabric tend to be in fashion only for a season or a year at most. Next year it will be another pattern, so why bother? Look effortlessly stylish by keeping your clothes in style across decades, not months.
5. Buy strategically.
To look really stylish, you want your clothes to look expensive.
You can make cheap clothes look expensive but investing in some actually expensive items might be a good idea. A few choice pieces of hard-to-fake luxury items, such as a nice sweater or wool coat, can really take your wardrobe up a notch. Having a limited number of nicer items is preferable to having a large number of very cheap-looking items.
6. Create an interchangeable collection.
A mix-and-match wardrobe gives you plenty of outfit options.
If you really want to put the effortless into effortless style, you’ll want a wardrobe where nearly all of the pieces match with each other. This will let you get dressed based on comfort, style preference, or weather conditions, instead of being limited by color or style combinations.
Use a single clothing style (vintage, modern, etc.) and the use a single color palette (this should be helped if you followed our advice to use muted colors with limited bold accents).
7. Take care of your clothes.
Looking stylish means having clothes that look well maintained.
No stains, no holes, no loose threads, no wrinkles. If you want your clothes to look maintained, then the best way to do that is to maintain them! Keep your clothes clean, fold and store them correctly, and do other basic maintenance as the needs arise (e.g. sewing minor holes).
8. Get items tailored.
Part of the reason models and famous people look so stylish is because their clothes fit their bodies perfectly.
How do you get clothes to fit perfectly? Get them tailored, of course! Find a reliable tailor in your area to alter your clothes so that they are perfect for your body. Even some department stores will do this for you.
It’s not as expensive as it sounds. Tailoring a shirt often costs as little as $10-20, pants around $30-40.
It may seem like a silly added expense, but having clothes tailored once and keeping them maintained will help you look amazing for the next ten years. It’s a worthy investment.
9. Keep it simple
Effortless style is all about looking like you put in no effort.
Use a limited number of clothing and accessory pieces. This is especially important when it comes to accessories.
For example, don’t wear a scarf and bangles and big earrings and a hat. Try to limit yourself to two noticeable/accent accessories.
10. Choose an outfit appropriate for the occasion.
You'll look like you fit right in when you dress for the occasion.
Over-dressing is a sure sign that you put way too much thought and effort into how you’re dressed. Don’t wear a fancy dress for grocery shopping, and don’t wear a long gown when a cocktail dress will do, for example.
11. Emphasize the accessories.
Accessories add personality and visual interest to spice up an outfit.
Since your clothes themselves should generally be in muted, neutral colors, you’ll want to make your accessories your accent pieces. These should draw attention and look extra cool. It is easier to have accessories that conform to the latest fashions and trends, so don’t worry about that as much (in this area, it’s usually okay).
For example, you could pair a floppy hat and patterned fashion scarf with a brown jacket, blue tee, white skinny jeans, and brown boots.
Another example would be to wear a black dress and pair it with red earrings and a bracelet.
Just make sure you keep your color palette across the whole outfit. Accent accessories colors should generally be the same or compliment each other.
12. Don’t neglect the hair.
You’ll want your hair to be stylish too.
Keep it in a simple style or carefully created “tousled” look, but make sure that you are in fact creating the look. Your hair should look nice, even if it doesn’t look like you spent an hour getting it just right.
Avoid products to achieve a more natural look associated with effortless style. This means no gel or hairspray!
It is best to consider updating your hairstyle annually. The hairstyle change can be as simple as switching up the part to something more drastic, like completely changing the hair color or haircut.
13. Use minimal makeup.
For timeless style, try a toned-down makeup look.
Go for natural-looking colors so you don't distract from the fabulous outfit you put together. You want to, of course, emphasize your best features.
Lips are an area of exception, as these can be a great way to add a little extra bang to an outfit by introducing bright colors, like a classic red.
If loud makeup's more your style, go for it! Being stylish is all about showing off your personality and individuality.
14. Keep lines and texture to a minimum.
Mixing patterns well is incredibly difficult.
Throwing the wrong patterns together can make you look more chaotic and less elegant. It’s okay to have one item in your outfit have a pattern or texture, but keep it limited to one.
15. Go for clean silhouettes and minimal bulk.
Keep layers to a minimum and avoid chunky items or other items that add a lot of bulk.
These will make you appear chubbier and less streamlined and stylish. Oversized sweaters have a time and place, but tend to go in and out of fashion to a certain extent, so be careful.
16. Add your favorite fragrance.
While it may not be visually apparent, scent can go a long way towards developing how people perceive you.
Smell nice by keeping yourself and your clothes clean, but also consider adding a perfume or cologne to your fashion line-up. Avoid young scents like fruity smells in favor of something more mature for a really classy touch.
17. Have a signature style.
Keep your clothes in a theme in order give yourself a signature style.
This is a look that people will associate with you and will make you seem more stylish, even if they don’t necessarily like your clothes.
18. Fit your look to you.
The style you create for yourself should match who you are as a person.
For example, a really sweet woman taking on a catty look will seem weird and out of place, the same as a serious businessman dressing in gangsta style. Tailor your clothes to fit your personality and people will be much more inclined to see it as your style.
19. Be confident.
If you act confident, you can rock any outfit.
Do you ever feel like some models could wear a brown paper sack and still walk down a runway looking like the height of fashion? Do you know a guy who wears a tracksuit and still somehow manages to look totally fashionable? What the fashion industry doesn’t want you to know is that a lot of looking stylish really comes down to projecting confidence. You don’t have to actually be confident, of course, but if you walk down the street in clothes that you clearly think you look great in, people will usually be inclined to agree that (at a minimum) those clothes are perfect for you.
Act like you don’t care - or, actually don't care. The effortless part of the stylish look should of course be presented by giving off an air that you don’t care, or that you just threw on the first outfit you could find. Be humble or indifferent when people compliment your clothes.
20. Walk gracefully.
In order to look stylish, you’re also going to want to look elegant and coordinated.
This means not falling down if you’re wearing heels. Being graceful should be easier for guys, but is still important so don’t neglect it.
Tips
When you feel you need to update your wardrobe a little, look through your closet and try to find a way to wear something you already have differently instead of immediately going shopping.
Read the fashion section of a variety of magazines, such as Cosmopolitan and Glamour for the gals, and GQ for the guys. Collect tips; pay attention to what you like and dislike.
Never let the clothes wear you. Your personality is what should shine through, not the personality of your clothes!
Warnings
Don't choose clothes just because other people like them. Have your own style, live the way you want to.
Don't be trashy, if you would rather die than let your parents see what you're wearing, then don't wear it!
Don't go out too exposed, wear some clothes! Going out in a low cut tube top and booty shorts is not stylish.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Wear clothes that flatter your body type.\\nWhen your clothes fit well, you'll instantly look put-together.\\nThe first thing to do to look effortlessly stylish is to make sure that you’re wearing clothes that you feel are good for your body type. Since effortless style is supposed to be subtle, you’ll need well fitting clothes in order to get the elegant, expensive, stylish look from your clothing. You may want garments that make you look thinner and the perfect height, with everything in proportion.\\n2. Stick to classic cuts.\\nEffortless style is mainly based around classic looks.\\nDressing for current trends just shows that you put way too much thought into that outfit and that you’ve been following fashion news like a broker watching stocks. Choose classic styles in classic cuts for a more effortless look that looks good for years.\\nThis means women should beware of floor length casual dresses in favor of knee-length, for example, while men should shy away from skinny-legged suit trousers in favor of something more loose-fitting.\\nTrends should only take up about 20% of your wardrobe. Your primary investment should be buying the best quality you can afford.\\n3. Choose muted, neutral colors and bold accents.\\nNeutral colors pretty much never go out of style.\\nWhat colors are popular and what colors are considered absolutely hideous is very dependent on time and place. Just look at your mom’s clothes from the 1970s, for example. In order to look effortlessly stylish, you’re going to want a more timeless look, which means sticking to more muted and neutral colors. This can, however, be broken up with bold accent colors, especially on accessories.\\nMuted colors include tan, black, white, denim/navy blue, and gray.\\nGood accent colors include most shades of red, many shades of blue, plum/eggplant purple, golden yellow (like rubber ducks or tulips), and emerald green.\\nBe careful of certain colors. Be wary of other greens and yellows, and generally avoid oranges, as these colors are very prone to going in and out of fashion, but, if you think they are stylish, go for it.\\n4. Avoid busy prints and textures.\\nBusy prints and textures can quickly make an outfit look dated and unstylish.\\nTrends like fuzzy/fluffy/feathered fabric tend to be in fashion only for a season or a year at most. Next year it will be another pattern, so why bother? Look effortlessly stylish by keeping your clothes in style across decades, not months.\\n5. Buy strategically.\\nTo look really stylish, you want your clothes to look expensive.\\nYou can make cheap clothes look expensive but investing in some actually expensive items might be a good idea. A few choice pieces of hard-to-fake luxury items, such as a nice sweater or wool coat, can really take your wardrobe up a notch. Having a limited number of nicer items is preferable to having a large number of very cheap-looking items.\\n6. Create an interchangeable collection.\\nA mix-and-match wardrobe gives you plenty of outfit options.\\nIf you really want to put the effortless into effortless style, you’ll want a wardrobe where nearly all of the pieces match with each other. This will let you get dressed based on comfort, style preference, or weather conditions, instead of being limited by color or style combinations.\\nUse a single clothing style (vintage, modern, etc.) and the use a single color palette (this should be helped if you followed our advice to use muted colors with limited bold accents).\\n7. Take care of your clothes.\\nLooking stylish means having clothes that look well maintained.\\nNo stains, no holes, no loose threads, no wrinkles. If you want your clothes to look maintained, then the best way to do that is to maintain them! Keep your clothes clean, fold and store them correctly, and do other basic maintenance as the needs arise (e.g. sewing minor holes).\\n8. Get items tailored.\\nPart of the reason models and famous people look so stylish is because their clothes fit their bodies perfectly.\\nHow do you get clothes to fit perfectly? Get them tailored, of course! Find a reliable tailor in your area to alter your clothes so that they are perfect for your body. Even some department stores will do this for you.\\nIt’s not as expensive as it sounds. Tailoring a shirt often costs as little as $10-20, pants around $30-40.\\nIt may seem like a silly added expense, but having clothes tailored once and keeping them maintained will help you look amazing for the next ten years. It’s a worthy investment.\\n9. Keep it simple\\nEffortless style is all about looking like you put in no effort.\\nUse a limited number of clothing and accessory pieces. This is especially important when it comes to accessories.\\nFor example, don’t wear a scarf and bangles and big earrings and a hat. Try to limit yourself to two noticeable/accent accessories.\\n10. Choose an outfit appropriate for the occasion.\\nYou'll look like you fit right in when you dress for the occasion.\\nOver-dressing is a sure sign that you put way too much thought and effort into how you’re dressed. Don’t wear a fancy dress for grocery shopping, and don’t wear a long gown when a cocktail dress will do, for example.\\n11. Emphasize the accessories.\\nAccessories add personality and visual interest to spice up an outfit.\\nSince your clothes themselves should generally be in muted, neutral colors, you’ll want to make your accessories your accent pieces. These should draw attention and look extra cool. It is easier to have accessories that conform to the latest fashions and trends, so don’t worry about that as much (in this area, it’s usually okay).\\nFor example, you could pair a floppy hat and patterned fashion scarf with a brown jacket, blue tee, white skinny jeans, and brown boots.\\nAnother example would be to wear a black dress and pair it with red earrings and a bracelet.\\nJust make sure you keep your color palette across the whole outfit. Accent accessories colors should generally be the same or compliment each other.\\n12. Don’t neglect the hair.\\nYou’ll want your hair to be stylish too.\\nKeep it in a simple style or carefully created “tousled” look, but make sure that you are in fact creating the look. Your hair should look nice, even if it doesn’t look like you spent an hour getting it just right.\\nAvoid products to achieve a more natural look associated with effortless style. This means no gel or hairspray!\\nIt is best to consider updating your hairstyle annually. The hairstyle change can be as simple as switching up the part to something more drastic, like completely changing the hair color or haircut.\\n13. Use minimal makeup.\\nFor timeless style, try a toned-down makeup look.\\nGo for natural-looking colors so you don't distract from the fabulous outfit you put together. You want to, of course, emphasize your best features.\\nLips are an area of exception, as these can be a great way to add a little extra bang to an outfit by introducing bright colors, like a classic red.\\nIf loud makeup's more your style, go for it! Being stylish is all about showing off your personality and individuality.\\n14. Keep lines and texture to a minimum.\\nMixing patterns well is incredibly difficult.\\nThrowing the wrong patterns together can make you look more chaotic and less elegant. It’s okay to have one item in your outfit have a pattern or texture, but keep it limited to one.\\n15. Go for clean silhouettes and minimal bulk.\\nKeep layers to a minimum and avoid chunky items or other items that add a lot of bulk.\\nThese will make you appear chubbier and less streamlined and stylish. Oversized sweaters have a time and place, but tend to go in and out of fashion to a certain extent, so be careful.\\n16. Add your favorite fragrance.\\nWhile it may not be visually apparent, scent can go a long way towards developing how people perceive you.\\nSmell nice by keeping yourself and your clothes clean, but also consider adding a perfume or cologne to your fashion line-up. Avoid young scents like fruity smells in favor of something more mature for a really classy touch.\\n17. Have a signature style.\\nKeep your clothes in a theme in order give yourself a signature style.\\nThis is a look that people will associate with you and will make you seem more stylish, even if they don’t necessarily like your clothes.\\n18. Fit your look to you.\\nThe style you create for yourself should match who you are as a person.\\nFor example, a really sweet woman taking on a catty look will seem weird and out of place, the same as a serious businessman dressing in gangsta style. Tailor your clothes to fit your personality and people will be much more inclined to see it as your style.\\n19. Be confident.\\nIf you act confident, you can rock any outfit.\\nDo you ever feel like some models could wear a brown paper sack and still walk down a runway looking like the height of fashion? Do you know a guy who wears a tracksuit and still somehow manages to look totally fashionable? What the fashion industry doesn’t want you to know is that a lot of looking stylish really comes down to projecting confidence. You don’t have to actually be confident, of course, but if you walk down the street in clothes that you clearly think you look great in, people will usually be inclined to agree that (at a minimum) those clothes are perfect for you.\\nAct like you don’t care - or, actually don't care. The effortless part of the stylish look should of course be presented by giving off an air that you don’t care, or that you just threw on the first outfit you could find. Be humble or indifferent when people compliment your clothes.\\n20. Walk gracefully.\\nIn order to look stylish, you’re also going to want to look elegant and coordinated.\\nThis means not falling down if you’re wearing heels. Being graceful should be easier for guys, but is still important so don’t neglect it.\\nTips\\nWhen you feel you need to update your wardrobe a little, look through your closet and try to find a way to wear something you already have differently instead of immediately going shopping.\\nRead the fashion section of a variety of magazines, such as Cosmopolitan and Glamour for the gals, and GQ for the guys. Collect tips; pay attention to what you like and dislike.\\nNever let the clothes wear you. Your personality is what should shine through, not the personality of your clothes!\\nWarnings\\nDon't choose clothes just because other people like them. Have your own style, live the way you want to.\\nDon't be trashy, if you would rather die than let your parents see what you're wearing, then don't wear it!\\nDon't go out too exposed, wear some clothes! Going out in a low cut tube top and booty shorts is not stylish.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If shopping for new clothes and putting together stylish outfits always feels like a struggle, you’re definitely not alone. Being fashionable can feel so complicated sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be! There are actually some simple, basic steps you can take to transform your wardrobe and personal style so you look effortlessly stylish every day. Check out the tips we’ve put together below to learn how you can get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that flatter your body type.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When your clothes fit well, you'll instantly look put-together.\", \"描述\": \"The first thing to do to look effortlessly stylish is to make sure that you’re wearing clothes that you feel are good for your body type. Since effortless style is supposed to be subtle, you’ll need well fitting clothes in order to get the elegant, expensive, stylish look from your clothing. You may want garments that make you look thinner and the perfect height, with everything in proportion.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stick to classic cuts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Effortless style is mainly based around classic looks.\", \"描述\": \"Dressing for current trends just shows that you put way too much thought into that outfit and that you’ve been following fashion news like a broker watching stocks. Choose classic styles in classic cuts for a more effortless look that looks good for years.\\nThis means women should beware of floor length casual dresses in favor of knee-length, for example, while men should shy away from skinny-legged suit trousers in favor of something more loose-fitting.\\nTrends should only take up about 20% of your wardrobe. Your primary investment should be buying the best quality you can afford.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose muted, neutral colors and bold accents.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Neutral colors pretty much never go out of style.\", \"描述\": \"What colors are popular and what colors are considered absolutely hideous is very dependent on time and place. Just look at your mom’s clothes from the 1970s, for example. In order to look effortlessly stylish, you’re going to want a more timeless look, which means sticking to more muted and neutral colors. This can, however, be broken up with bold accent colors, especially on accessories.\\nMuted colors include tan, black, white, denim/navy blue, and gray.\\nGood accent colors include most shades of red, many shades of blue, plum/eggplant purple, golden yellow (like rubber ducks or tulips), and emerald green.\\nBe careful of certain colors. Be wary of other greens and yellows, and generally avoid oranges, as these colors are very prone to going in and out of fashion, but, if you think they are stylish, go for it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid busy prints and textures.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Busy prints and textures can quickly make an outfit look dated and unstylish.\", \"描述\": \"Trends like fuzzy/fluffy/feathered fabric tend to be in fashion only for a season or a year at most. Next year it will be another pattern, so why bother? Look effortlessly stylish by keeping your clothes in style across decades, not months.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Buy strategically.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"To look really stylish, you want your clothes to look expensive.\", \"描述\": \"You can make cheap clothes look expensive but investing in some actually expensive items might be a good idea. A few choice pieces of hard-to-fake luxury items, such as a nice sweater or wool coat, can really take your wardrobe up a notch. Having a limited number of nicer items is preferable to having a large number of very cheap-looking items.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Create an interchangeable collection.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A mix-and-match wardrobe gives you plenty of outfit options.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to put the effortless into effortless style, you’ll want a wardrobe where nearly all of the pieces match with each other. This will let you get dressed based on comfort, style preference, or weather conditions, instead of being limited by color or style combinations.\\nUse a single clothing style (vintage, modern, etc.) and the use a single color palette (this should be helped if you followed our advice to use muted colors with limited bold accents).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take care of your clothes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking stylish means having clothes that look well maintained.\", \"描述\": \"No stains, no holes, no loose threads, no wrinkles. If you want your clothes to look maintained, then the best way to do that is to maintain them! Keep your clothes clean, fold and store them correctly, and do other basic maintenance as the needs arise (e.g. sewing minor holes).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Get items tailored.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Part of the reason models and famous people look so stylish is because their clothes fit their bodies perfectly.\", \"描述\": \"How do you get clothes to fit perfectly? Get them tailored, of course! Find a reliable tailor in your area to alter your clothes so that they are perfect for your body. Even some department stores will do this for you.\\nIt’s not as expensive as it sounds. Tailoring a shirt often costs as little as $10-20, pants around $30-40.\\nIt may seem like a silly added expense, but having clothes tailored once and keeping them maintained will help you look amazing for the next ten years. It’s a worthy investment.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Effortless style is all about looking like you put in no effort.\", \"描述\": \"Use a limited number of clothing and accessory pieces. This is especially important when it comes to accessories.\\nFor example, don’t wear a scarf and bangles and big earrings and a hat. Try to limit yourself to two noticeable/accent accessories.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Choose an outfit appropriate for the occasion.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You'll look like you fit right in when you dress for the occasion.\", \"描述\": \"Over-dressing is a sure sign that you put way too much thought and effort into how you’re dressed. Don’t wear a fancy dress for grocery shopping, and don’t wear a long gown when a cocktail dress will do, for example.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Emphasize the accessories.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accessories add personality and visual interest to spice up an outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Since your clothes themselves should generally be in muted, neutral colors, you’ll want to make your accessories your accent pieces. These should draw attention and look extra cool. It is easier to have accessories that conform to the latest fashions and trends, so don’t worry about that as much (in this area, it’s usually okay).\\nFor example, you could pair a floppy hat and patterned fashion scarf with a brown jacket, blue tee, white skinny jeans, and brown boots.\\nAnother example would be to wear a black dress and pair it with red earrings and a bracelet.\\nJust make sure you keep your color palette across the whole outfit. Accent accessories colors should generally be the same or compliment each other.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Don’t neglect the hair.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’ll want your hair to be stylish too.\", \"描述\": \"Keep it in a simple style or carefully created “tousled” look, but make sure that you are in fact creating the look. Your hair should look nice, even if it doesn’t look like you spent an hour getting it just right.\\nAvoid products to achieve a more natural look associated with effortless style. This means no gel or hairspray!\\nIt is best to consider updating your hairstyle annually. The hairstyle change can be as simple as switching up the part to something more drastic, like completely changing the hair color or haircut.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Use minimal makeup.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"For timeless style, try a toned-down makeup look.\", \"描述\": \"Go for natural-looking colors so you don't distract from the fabulous outfit you put together. You want to, of course, emphasize your best features.\\nLips are an area of exception, as these can be a great way to add a little extra bang to an outfit by introducing bright colors, like a classic red.\\nIf loud makeup's more your style, go for it! Being stylish is all about showing off your personality and individuality.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Keep lines and texture to a minimum.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Mixing patterns well is incredibly difficult.\", \"描述\": \"Throwing the wrong patterns together can make you look more chaotic and less elegant. It’s okay to have one item in your outfit have a pattern or texture, but keep it limited to one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Go for clean silhouettes and minimal bulk.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep layers to a minimum and avoid chunky items or other items that add a lot of bulk.\", \"描述\": \"These will make you appear chubbier and less streamlined and stylish. Oversized sweaters have a time and place, but tend to go in and out of fashion to a certain extent, so be careful.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Add your favorite fragrance.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"While it may not be visually apparent, scent can go a long way towards developing how people perceive you.\", \"描述\": \"Smell nice by keeping yourself and your clothes clean, but also consider adding a perfume or cologne to your fashion line-up. Avoid young scents like fruity smells in favor of something more mature for a really classy touch.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Have a signature style.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your clothes in a theme in order give yourself a signature style.\", \"描述\": \"This is a look that people will associate with you and will make you seem more stylish, even if they don’t necessarily like your clothes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 18, \"标题\": \"Fit your look to you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The style you create for yourself should match who you are as a person.\", \"描述\": \"For example, a really sweet woman taking on a catty look will seem weird and out of place, the same as a serious businessman dressing in gangsta style. Tailor your clothes to fit your personality and people will be much more inclined to see it as your style.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 19, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you act confident, you can rock any outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Do you ever feel like some models could wear a brown paper sack and still walk down a runway looking like the height of fashion? Do you know a guy who wears a tracksuit and still somehow manages to look totally fashionable? What the fashion industry doesn’t want you to know is that a lot of looking stylish really comes down to projecting confidence. You don’t have to actually be confident, of course, but if you walk down the street in clothes that you clearly think you look great in, people will usually be inclined to agree that (at a minimum) those clothes are perfect for you.\\nAct like you don’t care - or, actually don't care. The effortless part of the stylish look should of course be presented by giving off an air that you don’t care, or that you just threw on the first outfit you could find. Be humble or indifferent when people compliment your clothes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 20, \"标题\": \"Walk gracefully.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"In order to look stylish, you’re also going to want to look elegant and coordinated.\", \"描述\": \"This means not falling down if you’re wearing heels. Being graceful should be easier for guys, but is still important so don’t neglect it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When you feel you need to update your wardrobe a little, look through your closet and try to find a way to wear something you already have differently instead of immediately going shopping.\\n\", \"Read the fashion section of a variety of magazines, such as Cosmopolitan and Glamour for the gals, and GQ for the guys. Collect tips; pay attention to what you like and dislike.\\n\", \"Never let the clothes wear you. Your personality is what should shine through, not the personality of your clothes!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't choose clothes just because other people like them. Have your own style, live the way you want to.\\n\", \"Don't be trashy, if you would rather die than let your parents see what you're wearing, then don't wear it!\\n\", \"Don't go out too exposed, wear some clothes! Going out in a low cut tube top and booty shorts is not stylish.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,193 | How to Be Stylish While Being Casual | 1. Looking Sharp in Casual Wear
1-1. Know which casual items can double as “stylish.”
Remember: some casual clothes, like cargo shorts, always come across as just that--casual--no matter what other fancy items you might wear with them. Learn which items are safe to choose from. Clothes that are safe to pick from include:
Men: blazers; button-down shirts; t-shirts; nice jeans; chinos; tailored shorts; casual sneakers; boat shoes; loafers, brogues; boots; dress shoes.
Women: wrap dresses; summer dresses; nice jeans; linen pants; tank tops; fitted tops; sneakers; flats; boots; low heels; sandals.
1-2. Develop a discerning eye.
Aim to strike the perfect balance between casual and stylish. Imagine two extremes: a fancy ‘60’s cocktail party and a rough-and-tumble day at the beach. When picking items to wear, imagine wearing them to both occasions. Aim for an outfit that would look slightly too relaxed and casual to fit in with the cast of Mad Men, but too nice to risk scuffing up outdoors.
When in doubt, err on the side of fitting in more with the cocktail party folks than the beach bums.
1-3. Choose the right material.
Avoid clothes made from fabrics that wrinkle easily, like cotton, rayon, and silk. Remember: you want to look casual but stylish, so you still want to look sharp, and varying the fabric textures adds interest to your outfits. So unless you’re able to change outfits throughout the day, stick to fabrics like:
Cashmere
Denim
Knit
Leather
Lyocell
Polyester
Wool
1-4. Wear more than one layer.
Rest assured: you don’t need a whole collection of individually stunning garments to impress people visually. Instead, create a more interesting look by simply layering the clothes you do have. Make them work as a team for a “sum-is-greater-than-its-parts” effect. For instance, you can layer:
A vest or sweater over dress shirts.
A blazer or light jacket over a t-shirt.
Tasteful bras and bralettes under any tops or dresses that offer a glimpse underneath.
Stockings, tights, or leggings under skirts and dresses.
1-5. Use contrast to make your outfit pop.
Catch people’s attention by avoiding a totally uniform appearance. Vary your look by adding one or two touches that will either stand out from the rest or juxtapose other elements. For example:
If, say, you dress all in black, wear a pair of white shoes (or a belt, or a tie, or all three).
Pair a skinny pair of pants with a loose-fitting top.
Wear a tighter top or jacket with a billowy skirt or dress.
Pair dark bottoms with light tops, and/or dark tops with light bottoms.
2. Matching Colors
2-1. Fill your closet with neutrals.
Make things easy for yourself when you’re trying to pair one piece of clothing with another. Buy lots of clothing in neutral colors so just about everything you own will match each other.
Perfectly neutral colors include white, black, and gray. They are always appropriate and have an understated elegance to them.
More earthy tones include camel, cream, brown, gold, navy blue, olive, and silver.
2-2. Use accents.
If you have a favorite color that you want to be known for, buy several articles in different shades. Or, if you’re less picky, buy a variety of bolder colors. Then perk your otherwise neutral outfits up with one of these articles, like wearing a bold red shirt with navy blue jeans and a black leather jacket. In addition to clothes, you can also accent your outfits with accessories like:
Ties
Belts
Jewelry
Suspenders
Purses and bags
2-3. Be sure to match colors that aren’t neutral.
If you find neutrals too boring, go ahead and dress in something bolder. Just make sure one element of your outfit doesn’t clash with another. Be aware that even though you personally like two different colors, people are hardwired to look for harmony in colors. When you assemble an outfit, start with one article as your base color and pair other items that match.
3. Shopping on a Budget
3-1. Stick to simple garments.
If you need to make your clothes last, check out their construction before you buy them. Keep in mind that any extra little add-on (like unnecessary buttons, sequins, or silkscreens) is just one more thing that might fall off or fall apart. Don’t get stuck with, say, a t-shirt that looked stylish on the rack but now looks like a hand-me-down because the silkscreen flaked off! Put it back on the rack and pick out a simpler item instead.
”Simple” doesn’t have to mean “plain.” Remember: a pair of black-and-white striped pants isn’t constructed any differently than a pair of solid black pants! If you want a little more jazz in your clothes, look for items made with different prints and materials.
3-2. Avoid clothes that need to be dry-cleaned.
If budget is an issue, check the care label for each item while shopping. Only buy clothes that say, “Machine Wash.” If the care label tells you that the item needs to be dry-cleaned, put it back. Bear in mind that dry-cleaning is often pricey, so get the most wear out of your purchases by sticking to items that you can afford to wash regularly.
Give your machine-wash clothes a longer life by only using cold water to wash them. Then dry them in a machine with low heat, or simply let them air-dry.
3-3. Don’t rely on belts.
There are exceptions to every rule, but beware: a cheap belt often looks cheap. Don’t spoil your casual-chic look by holding up those stunning pants with a dinky-looking belt! Only buy pants that stay up just fine on their own, even if you already have a good, quality belt at home (just in case it gets lost or ruined).
If you do need a belt for pants, don’t worry about it. You’re aiming for stylish but casual, so keeping your shirt untucked is a perfect way to hide it.
If you like to wear loose dresses and draw attention to your waist at the same time, wear a more form-fitting top or jacket instead of a belt.
3-4. Forget high heels.
Obviously, high heels are pretty chic, but if you are going for a more casual look, look for something else. Get more for your money with a pair of shoes that is perfectly stylish and a bit more versatile. Instead of high heels, shop for an eye-catching pair of flats, low heels, or sneakers.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Sharp in Casual Wear\\n1-1. Know which casual items can double as “stylish.”\\nRemember: some casual clothes, like cargo shorts, always come across as just that--casual--no matter what other fancy items you might wear with them. Learn which items are safe to choose from. Clothes that are safe to pick from include:\\n\\nMen: blazers; button-down shirts; t-shirts; nice jeans; chinos; tailored shorts; casual sneakers; boat shoes; loafers, brogues; boots; dress shoes.\\nWomen: wrap dresses; summer dresses; nice jeans; linen pants; tank tops; fitted tops; sneakers; flats; boots; low heels; sandals.\\n1-2. Develop a discerning eye.\\nAim to strike the perfect balance between casual and stylish. Imagine two extremes: a fancy ‘60’s cocktail party and a rough-and-tumble day at the beach. When picking items to wear, imagine wearing them to both occasions. Aim for an outfit that would look slightly too relaxed and casual to fit in with the cast of Mad Men, but too nice to risk scuffing up outdoors.\\nWhen in doubt, err on the side of fitting in more with the cocktail party folks than the beach bums.\\n1-3. Choose the right material.\\nAvoid clothes made from fabrics that wrinkle easily, like cotton, rayon, and silk. Remember: you want to look casual but stylish, so you still want to look sharp, and varying the fabric textures adds interest to your outfits. So unless you’re able to change outfits throughout the day, stick to fabrics like:\\nCashmere\\nDenim\\nKnit\\nLeather\\nLyocell\\nPolyester\\nWool\\n1-4. Wear more than one layer.\\nRest assured: you don’t need a whole collection of individually stunning garments to impress people visually. Instead, create a more interesting look by simply layering the clothes you do have. Make them work as a team for a “sum-is-greater-than-its-parts” effect. For instance, you can layer:\\nA vest or sweater over dress shirts.\\nA blazer or light jacket over a t-shirt.\\nTasteful bras and bralettes under any tops or dresses that offer a glimpse underneath.\\nStockings, tights, or leggings under skirts and dresses.\\n1-5. Use contrast to make your outfit pop.\\nCatch people’s attention by avoiding a totally uniform appearance. Vary your look by adding one or two touches that will either stand out from the rest or juxtapose other elements. For example:\\nIf, say, you dress all in black, wear a pair of white shoes (or a belt, or a tie, or all three).\\nPair a skinny pair of pants with a loose-fitting top.\\nWear a tighter top or jacket with a billowy skirt or dress.\\nPair dark bottoms with light tops, and/or dark tops with light bottoms.\\n2. Matching Colors\\n2-1. Fill your closet with neutrals.\\nMake things easy for yourself when you’re trying to pair one piece of clothing with another. Buy lots of clothing in neutral colors so just about everything you own will match each other.\\nPerfectly neutral colors include white, black, and gray. They are always appropriate and have an understated elegance to them.\\nMore earthy tones include camel, cream, brown, gold, navy blue, olive, and silver.\\n2-2. Use accents.\\nIf you have a favorite color that you want to be known for, buy several articles in different shades. Or, if you’re less picky, buy a variety of bolder colors. Then perk your otherwise neutral outfits up with one of these articles, like wearing a bold red shirt with navy blue jeans and a black leather jacket. In addition to clothes, you can also accent your outfits with accessories like:\\nTies\\nBelts\\nJewelry\\nSuspenders\\nPurses and bags\\n2-3. Be sure to match colors that aren’t neutral.\\nIf you find neutrals too boring, go ahead and dress in something bolder. Just make sure one element of your outfit doesn’t clash with another. Be aware that even though you personally like two different colors, people are hardwired to look for harmony in colors. When you assemble an outfit, start with one article as your base color and pair other items that match.\\n3. Shopping on a Budget\\n3-1. Stick to simple garments.\\nIf you need to make your clothes last, check out their construction before you buy them. Keep in mind that any extra little add-on (like unnecessary buttons, sequins, or silkscreens) is just one more thing that might fall off or fall apart. Don’t get stuck with, say, a t-shirt that looked stylish on the rack but now looks like a hand-me-down because the silkscreen flaked off! Put it back on the rack and pick out a simpler item instead.\\n”Simple” doesn’t have to mean “plain.” Remember: a pair of black-and-white striped pants isn’t constructed any differently than a pair of solid black pants! If you want a little more jazz in your clothes, look for items made with different prints and materials.\\n3-2. Avoid clothes that need to be dry-cleaned.\\nIf budget is an issue, check the care label for each item while shopping. Only buy clothes that say, “Machine Wash.” If the care label tells you that the item needs to be dry-cleaned, put it back. Bear in mind that dry-cleaning is often pricey, so get the most wear out of your purchases by sticking to items that you can afford to wash regularly.\\nGive your machine-wash clothes a longer life by only using cold water to wash them. Then dry them in a machine with low heat, or simply let them air-dry.\\n3-3. Don’t rely on belts.\\nThere are exceptions to every rule, but beware: a cheap belt often looks cheap. Don’t spoil your casual-chic look by holding up those stunning pants with a dinky-looking belt! Only buy pants that stay up just fine on their own, even if you already have a good, quality belt at home (just in case it gets lost or ruined).\\nIf you do need a belt for pants, don’t worry about it. You’re aiming for stylish but casual, so keeping your shirt untucked is a perfect way to hide it.\\nIf you like to wear loose dresses and draw attention to your waist at the same time, wear a more form-fitting top or jacket instead of a belt.\\n3-4. Forget high heels.\\nObviously, high heels are pretty chic, but if you are going for a more casual look, look for something else. Get more for your money with a pair of shoes that is perfectly stylish and a bit more versatile. Instead of high heels, shop for an eye-catching pair of flats, low heels, or sneakers.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether it’s for school, work, or a family function, many people prefer the comfort of casual clothes over more formal wear. The good news is you don’t have to sacrifice style for comfort! With a little creativity and the right eye for materials and colors, you can easily make yourself look sharp with casual wear, even if you can’t afford those high-end $99 jeans!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Sharp in Casual Wear\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know which casual items can double as “stylish.”\", \"描述\": \"Remember: some casual clothes, like cargo shorts, always come across as just that--casual--no matter what other fancy items you might wear with them. Learn which items are safe to choose from. Clothes that are safe to pick from include:\\n\\nMen: blazers; button-down shirts; t-shirts; nice jeans; chinos; tailored shorts; casual sneakers; boat shoes; loafers, brogues; boots; dress shoes.\\nWomen: wrap dresses; summer dresses; nice jeans; linen pants; tank tops; fitted tops; sneakers; flats; boots; low heels; sandals.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop a discerning eye.\", \"描述\": \"Aim to strike the perfect balance between casual and stylish. Imagine two extremes: a fancy ‘60’s cocktail party and a rough-and-tumble day at the beach. When picking items to wear, imagine wearing them to both occasions. Aim for an outfit that would look slightly too relaxed and casual to fit in with the cast of Mad Men, but too nice to risk scuffing up outdoors.\\nWhen in doubt, err on the side of fitting in more with the cocktail party folks than the beach bums.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose the right material.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid clothes made from fabrics that wrinkle easily, like cotton, rayon, and silk. Remember: you want to look casual but stylish, so you still want to look sharp, and varying the fabric textures adds interest to your outfits. So unless you’re able to change outfits throughout the day, stick to fabrics like:\\nCashmere\\nDenim\\nKnit\\nLeather\\nLyocell\\nPolyester\\nWool\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear more than one layer.\", \"描述\": \"Rest assured: you don’t need a whole collection of individually stunning garments to impress people visually. Instead, create a more interesting look by simply layering the clothes you do have. Make them work as a team for a “sum-is-greater-than-its-parts” effect. For instance, you can layer:\\nA vest or sweater over dress shirts.\\nA blazer or light jacket over a t-shirt.\\nTasteful bras and bralettes under any tops or dresses that offer a glimpse underneath.\\nStockings, tights, or leggings under skirts and dresses.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use contrast to make your outfit pop.\", \"描述\": \"Catch people’s attention by avoiding a totally uniform appearance. Vary your look by adding one or two touches that will either stand out from the rest or juxtapose other elements. For example:\\nIf, say, you dress all in black, wear a pair of white shoes (or a belt, or a tie, or all three).\\nPair a skinny pair of pants with a loose-fitting top.\\nWear a tighter top or jacket with a billowy skirt or dress.\\nPair dark bottoms with light tops, and/or dark tops with light bottoms.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Matching Colors\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fill your closet with neutrals.\", \"描述\": \"Make things easy for yourself when you’re trying to pair one piece of clothing with another. Buy lots of clothing in neutral colors so just about everything you own will match each other.\\nPerfectly neutral colors include white, black, and gray. They are always appropriate and have an understated elegance to them.\\nMore earthy tones include camel, cream, brown, gold, navy blue, olive, and silver.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use accents.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a favorite color that you want to be known for, buy several articles in different shades. Or, if you’re less picky, buy a variety of bolder colors. Then perk your otherwise neutral outfits up with one of these articles, like wearing a bold red shirt with navy blue jeans and a black leather jacket. In addition to clothes, you can also accent your outfits with accessories like:\\nTies\\nBelts\\nJewelry\\nSuspenders\\nPurses and bags\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be sure to match colors that aren’t neutral.\", \"描述\": \"If you find neutrals too boring, go ahead and dress in something bolder. Just make sure one element of your outfit doesn’t clash with another. Be aware that even though you personally like two different colors, people are hardwired to look for harmony in colors. When you assemble an outfit, start with one article as your base color and pair other items that match.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shopping on a Budget\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick to simple garments.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to make your clothes last, check out their construction before you buy them. Keep in mind that any extra little add-on (like unnecessary buttons, sequins, or silkscreens) is just one more thing that might fall off or fall apart. Don’t get stuck with, say, a t-shirt that looked stylish on the rack but now looks like a hand-me-down because the silkscreen flaked off! Put it back on the rack and pick out a simpler item instead.\\n”Simple” doesn’t have to mean “plain.” Remember: a pair of black-and-white striped pants isn’t constructed any differently than a pair of solid black pants! If you want a little more jazz in your clothes, look for items made with different prints and materials.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid clothes that need to be dry-cleaned.\", \"描述\": \"If budget is an issue, check the care label for each item while shopping. Only buy clothes that say, “Machine Wash.” If the care label tells you that the item needs to be dry-cleaned, put it back. Bear in mind that dry-cleaning is often pricey, so get the most wear out of your purchases by sticking to items that you can afford to wash regularly.\\nGive your machine-wash clothes a longer life by only using cold water to wash them. Then dry them in a machine with low heat, or simply let them air-dry.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t rely on belts.\", \"描述\": \"There are exceptions to every rule, but beware: a cheap belt often looks cheap. Don’t spoil your casual-chic look by holding up those stunning pants with a dinky-looking belt! Only buy pants that stay up just fine on their own, even if you already have a good, quality belt at home (just in case it gets lost or ruined).\\nIf you do need a belt for pants, don’t worry about it. You’re aiming for stylish but casual, so keeping your shirt untucked is a perfect way to hide it.\\nIf you like to wear loose dresses and draw attention to your waist at the same time, wear a more form-fitting top or jacket instead of a belt.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Forget high heels.\", \"描述\": \"Obviously, high heels are pretty chic, but if you are going for a more casual look, look for something else. Get more for your money with a pair of shoes that is perfectly stylish and a bit more versatile. Instead of high heels, shop for an eye-catching pair of flats, low heels, or sneakers.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,194 | How to Be Stylish in Middle School | 1. Working on your own style
1-1. Decide whether you want to follow fashion trends or create your own.
Either approach is fine. Also, have a good sense of what looks good on you, so as to avoid fashion mistakes.
To keep up with the latest styles, read teen mags, like Teen Vogue, Tiger Beat, and Seventeen.
Browsing online "look books" is an awesome way of getting some much-needed inspiration if you're missing it.
1-2. Keep things simple.
Perhaps plaid, or a small burst of sequins. Something like a pair of capris and a loose sweater, with a tank top underneath. Simple and stylish.
1-3. Check out what others are wearing around you.
It's fine to be inspired by what the others are wearing, and even to find out where that boy or girl is purchasing their clothing from. The main thing is to be sure that what you're fancying on another person is going to look good on you too.
Don't be afraid to ask another boy or girl which stores they get their clothes from. It's a compliment. If they don't know, don't care or don't want to tell you, just say something like "No worries, I just wanted to compliment you on your good taste".
If you want to take part in hot trends at your school, that's cool. However, once again, if the clothing doesn't suit you, don't feel obliged to fit yourself to it.
1-4. Be aware that style isn't just about copying others.
Don't go overboard trying to look like someone else. If you see something different that you truly like, then buy it. Don't waste your time getting clothing to please others. Part of fashion is about making yourself happy because you're worth it.
2. Finding clothing
2-1. Go shopping at the mall.
You can go with friends if liked but don't take them along if you feel that all they do is distract you or try to convince you to get clothing different from that which you like. If they're good at giving honest advice though, they may be helpful.
2-2. Hit the trendy stores.
Find out what clothing is on display and considered currently trendy by browsing various different stores. Having an overview of what's in fashion can help you to get a better idea of what you like best. This means not buying the first things you see––the items will still be there when you go back after thinking about it.
2-3. Consider thrift and charity stores too.
Nice, one-off pieces can be found for little money in such stores and these can really add to your look. Many such stores color code the clothing, making it easy for you to find pieces in your favorite colors. A touch of unique is good for your fashion style.
2-4. Set goals on what you want to get for each trip.
For example: "I want to get a new skirt, two pairs of jeans, and a white lace sweater today". Having specific items in mind will help you to focus solely on what you really want to get, instead of getting distracted on things you don't need or already have in your closet.
2-5. Make sure that any clothing you end up choosing complements you and your personal style.
Choose colors that look good on you and that fit well. Remember that fashion is not worth discomfort, especially not at school.
3. Adding accessories
3-1. Decide which accessories will work with your clothes.
Also be aware of what the school permits by way of accessories.
3-2. Don't spend fifty dollars on a necklace.
If you do, it'll suck when you see a cute bangle, or when you spot a sweet handbag, and can't afford it.
3-3. Don't overdo the accessories.
For girls, accessorize with assorted bangles, necklaces and pendants, bright earrings, and casual but cute clothes but do not wear bangles on both arms, or rings on every finger. Don't wear every single piece of jewelry you own. For boys, hats, belts, arm bands, rings and earrings are cool accessories, as preferred.
4. Dressing to be stylish
4-1. Dress as befits who you are.
Wear things that reflect who you are, not the girl or boy in class that you think dresses fabulously. Do not try to be something you're not. Rock your personality with a style you're comfortable with. Just be yourself.
4-2. Reflect some of your personality in your clothing.
For example, if you're a quiet, unassuming person, try a cute plaid skirt with a button-up. If you're a talkative type, try a colorful neon rainbow, or if you're a punk rocker, try some pink and black skirts and hoodies. Take one day of the week, and wear something nicer or something you didn't give justice before.
Tips
Think beforehand about what you're wearing. Is this going to be comfortable at school? Will this take me too long to put on after P.E. class? Will I have to keep adjusting my clothing?
Try multi-colored bangles and a fashion ring, or wood-and-metal bangle sets. Big, round, colorful rings look great, and or long, beaded chains, or an eco-style, try shell or string bracelets, necklaces with natural-looking feathers, and unique, beaded earrings or wooden hoop earrings.
Go ahead and keep your usual style, just add a new twist. Or, try a completely different look. Just make sure it looks good on you before you buy it.
Warnings
Don't wear things that make you feel uncomfortable.
Money wasted on clothing is money that could be spent on having fun experiences. Don't spend too much of your savings on clothing.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Working on your own style\\n1-1. Decide whether you want to follow fashion trends or create your own.\\nEither approach is fine. Also, have a good sense of what looks good on you, so as to avoid fashion mistakes.\\nTo keep up with the latest styles, read teen mags, like Teen Vogue, Tiger Beat, and Seventeen.\\nBrowsing online \\\"look books\\\" is an awesome way of getting some much-needed inspiration if you're missing it.\\n1-2. Keep things simple.\\nPerhaps plaid, or a small burst of sequins. Something like a pair of capris and a loose sweater, with a tank top underneath. Simple and stylish.\\n1-3. Check out what others are wearing around you.\\nIt's fine to be inspired by what the others are wearing, and even to find out where that boy or girl is purchasing their clothing from. The main thing is to be sure that what you're fancying on another person is going to look good on you too.\\nDon't be afraid to ask another boy or girl which stores they get their clothes from. It's a compliment. If they don't know, don't care or don't want to tell you, just say something like \\\"No worries, I just wanted to compliment you on your good taste\\\".\\nIf you want to take part in hot trends at your school, that's cool. However, once again, if the clothing doesn't suit you, don't feel obliged to fit yourself to it.\\n1-4. Be aware that style isn't just about copying others.\\nDon't go overboard trying to look like someone else. If you see something different that you truly like, then buy it. Don't waste your time getting clothing to please others. Part of fashion is about making yourself happy because you're worth it.\\n2. Finding clothing\\n2-1. Go shopping at the mall.\\nYou can go with friends if liked but don't take them along if you feel that all they do is distract you or try to convince you to get clothing different from that which you like. If they're good at giving honest advice though, they may be helpful.\\n2-2. Hit the trendy stores.\\nFind out what clothing is on display and considered currently trendy by browsing various different stores. Having an overview of what's in fashion can help you to get a better idea of what you like best. This means not buying the first things you see––the items will still be there when you go back after thinking about it.\\n2-3. Consider thrift and charity stores too.\\nNice, one-off pieces can be found for little money in such stores and these can really add to your look. Many such stores color code the clothing, making it easy for you to find pieces in your favorite colors. A touch of unique is good for your fashion style.\\n2-4. Set goals on what you want to get for each trip.\\nFor example: \\\"I want to get a new skirt, two pairs of jeans, and a white lace sweater today\\\". Having specific items in mind will help you to focus solely on what you really want to get, instead of getting distracted on things you don't need or already have in your closet.\\n2-5. Make sure that any clothing you end up choosing complements you and your personal style.\\nChoose colors that look good on you and that fit well. Remember that fashion is not worth discomfort, especially not at school.\\n3. Adding accessories\\n3-1. Decide which accessories will work with your clothes.\\nAlso be aware of what the school permits by way of accessories.\\n3-2. Don't spend fifty dollars on a necklace.\\nIf you do, it'll suck when you see a cute bangle, or when you spot a sweet handbag, and can't afford it.\\n3-3. Don't overdo the accessories.\\nFor girls, accessorize with assorted bangles, necklaces and pendants, bright earrings, and casual but cute clothes but do not wear bangles on both arms, or rings on every finger. Don't wear every single piece of jewelry you own. For boys, hats, belts, arm bands, rings and earrings are cool accessories, as preferred.\\n4. Dressing to be stylish\\n4-1. Dress as befits who you are.\\nWear things that reflect who you are, not the girl or boy in class that you think dresses fabulously. Do not try to be something you're not. Rock your personality with a style you're comfortable with. Just be yourself.\\n4-2. Reflect some of your personality in your clothing.\\nFor example, if you're a quiet, unassuming person, try a cute plaid skirt with a button-up. If you're a talkative type, try a colorful neon rainbow, or if you're a punk rocker, try some pink and black skirts and hoodies. Take one day of the week, and wear something nicer or something you didn't give justice before.\\nTips\\nThink beforehand about what you're wearing. Is this going to be comfortable at school? Will this take me too long to put on after P.E. class? Will I have to keep adjusting my clothing?\\nTry multi-colored bangles and a fashion ring, or wood-and-metal bangle sets. Big, round, colorful rings look great, and or long, beaded chains, or an eco-style, try shell or string bracelets, necklaces with natural-looking feathers, and unique, beaded earrings or wooden hoop earrings.\\nGo ahead and keep your usual style, just add a new twist. Or, try a completely different look. Just make sure it looks good on you before you buy it.\\nWarnings\\nDon't wear things that make you feel uncomfortable.\\nMoney wasted on clothing is money that could be spent on having fun experiences. Don't spend too much of your savings on clothing.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being stylish is a subjective concept, as it really comes down to dressing well for your body type and personality. You can help your stylishness come to the fore by combining quality clothing, good grooming and having a sense of what works well for you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Working on your own style\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide whether you want to follow fashion trends or create your own.\", \"描述\": \"Either approach is fine. Also, have a good sense of what looks good on you, so as to avoid fashion mistakes.\\nTo keep up with the latest styles, read teen mags, like Teen Vogue, Tiger Beat, and Seventeen.\\nBrowsing online \\\"look books\\\" is an awesome way of getting some much-needed inspiration if you're missing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep things simple.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps plaid, or a small burst of sequins. Something like a pair of capris and a loose sweater, with a tank top underneath. Simple and stylish.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check out what others are wearing around you.\", \"描述\": \"It's fine to be inspired by what the others are wearing, and even to find out where that boy or girl is purchasing their clothing from. The main thing is to be sure that what you're fancying on another person is going to look good on you too.\\nDon't be afraid to ask another boy or girl which stores they get their clothes from. It's a compliment. If they don't know, don't care or don't want to tell you, just say something like \\\"No worries, I just wanted to compliment you on your good taste\\\".\\nIf you want to take part in hot trends at your school, that's cool. However, once again, if the clothing doesn't suit you, don't feel obliged to fit yourself to it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be aware that style isn't just about copying others.\", \"描述\": \"Don't go overboard trying to look like someone else. If you see something different that you truly like, then buy it. Don't waste your time getting clothing to please others. Part of fashion is about making yourself happy because you're worth it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding clothing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go shopping at the mall.\", \"描述\": \"You can go with friends if liked but don't take them along if you feel that all they do is distract you or try to convince you to get clothing different from that which you like. If they're good at giving honest advice though, they may be helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hit the trendy stores.\", \"描述\": \"Find out what clothing is on display and considered currently trendy by browsing various different stores. Having an overview of what's in fashion can help you to get a better idea of what you like best. This means not buying the first things you see––the items will still be there when you go back after thinking about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider thrift and charity stores too.\", \"描述\": \"Nice, one-off pieces can be found for little money in such stores and these can really add to your look. Many such stores color code the clothing, making it easy for you to find pieces in your favorite colors. A touch of unique is good for your fashion style.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set goals on what you want to get for each trip.\", \"描述\": \"For example: \\\"I want to get a new skirt, two pairs of jeans, and a white lace sweater today\\\". Having specific items in mind will help you to focus solely on what you really want to get, instead of getting distracted on things you don't need or already have in your closet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make sure that any clothing you end up choosing complements you and your personal style.\", \"描述\": \"Choose colors that look good on you and that fit well. Remember that fashion is not worth discomfort, especially not at school.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Adding accessories\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide which accessories will work with your clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Also be aware of what the school permits by way of accessories.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't spend fifty dollars on a necklace.\", \"描述\": \"If you do, it'll suck when you see a cute bangle, or when you spot a sweet handbag, and can't afford it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't overdo the accessories.\", \"描述\": \"For girls, accessorize with assorted bangles, necklaces and pendants, bright earrings, and casual but cute clothes but do not wear bangles on both arms, or rings on every finger. Don't wear every single piece of jewelry you own. For boys, hats, belts, arm bands, rings and earrings are cool accessories, as preferred.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dressing to be stylish\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress as befits who you are.\", \"描述\": \"Wear things that reflect who you are, not the girl or boy in class that you think dresses fabulously. Do not try to be something you're not. Rock your personality with a style you're comfortable with. Just be yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reflect some of your personality in your clothing.\", \"描述\": \"For example, if you're a quiet, unassuming person, try a cute plaid skirt with a button-up. If you're a talkative type, try a colorful neon rainbow, or if you're a punk rocker, try some pink and black skirts and hoodies. Take one day of the week, and wear something nicer or something you didn't give justice before.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Think beforehand about what you're wearing. Is this going to be comfortable at school? Will this take me too long to put on after P.E. class? Will I have to keep adjusting my clothing?\\n\", \"Try multi-colored bangles and a fashion ring, or wood-and-metal bangle sets. Big, round, colorful rings look great, and or long, beaded chains, or an eco-style, try shell or string bracelets, necklaces with natural-looking feathers, and unique, beaded earrings or wooden hoop earrings.\\n\", \"Go ahead and keep your usual style, just add a new twist. Or, try a completely different look. Just make sure it looks good on you before you buy it.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't wear things that make you feel uncomfortable.\\n\", \"Money wasted on clothing is money that could be spent on having fun experiences. Don't spend too much of your savings on clothing.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,195 | How to Be Suave | 1. Looking Suave
1-1. Dress to impress.
A significant part of being suave is looking the part. As a general rule, wear the best clothes you can get away with for any occasion and choose clothes that fit your body well.
If you do not know what clothes would be considered “impressive,” try asking for advice. You can ask a stylish man you know, but an even better bet might be to ask for a woman's advice. A woman will know exactly what styles look suave on a man from a woman's perspective.
If you do not have a girl in your life whom you can ask personally, check out men's fashion sources online that are written by women. One such example would be the Style Girlfriend blog (https://stylegirlfriend.com/).
1-2. Wear the right clothes for the right occasion.
If you want to look suave, you need to know when to play your style up and when to dress it down. Looking too formal can actually work against you on your quest for suaveness.
A suit will look out of place for a trip to the grocery store, yet it can be very dapper for a night at a high-class restaurant.
On occasions when the most appropriate outfit is a t-shirt and jeans, make sure that the clothes you wear are clean and free of rips or tears. Well-fitting clothes that are in good shape can be dashing even if they aren't as formal as a suit and tie.
1-3. Find a style icon.
If you aren't sure about what a “suave” style looks like, look to the professionals. Think of a gentleman who you consider to be the very epitome of suave and take notes on how he dresses.
Choosing a style icon from the modern era can help you figure out what clothes are presently considered fashionable for men. If you cannot think of any off the top of your head, go browsing through a magazine or blog like GQ Style (http://www.gq.com/style/blogs/the-gq-eye) D'Marge (http://www.dmarge.com/), or Inventory (http://www.inventorymagazine.com/updates/).
You can also take a look at the past to gain insight into how “suave” looks.Even though men of today's era can be fashionable, not all men's fashions are considered “suave". Many male icons from the 1940s and 1950s were considered to be very suave, however. As an added bonus, you can look to these icons as examples of both suave fashion and suave behavior.
1-4. Be the master of your own style.
While you can look to others as you develop a suave look, ultimately, you need to develop your own sense of style. Doing so will let you feel more confident in your clothes, which will give you a much more suave ambiance.
1-5. Keep an eye on the details.
Guys may think that accessories are for women, but a suave gentleman knows how to choose accessories to enhance his look. These little details can take your outfit up an extra notch and round off the entire look.
In particular, make use of ties, hats, masculine scarves, jackets or blazers, and shoes.
If you feel a little bolder, you could also try carrying around something old-fashioned like a pocket watch or handkerchief.
1-6. Be hygienic.
You cannot be suave if you look (and smell) like you haven't bathed in a week or brushed your teeth in a month. Good hygiene is the polish that makes a suave outfit shine.
Keep a trim look. The hair on your head and the hair on your face needs to be kept tidy. You do not necessarily need to be clean-shaven, but if you have facial hair of some sort, you need to keep it regularly trimmed and looking its finest. Otherwise, you can be clean while still looking grungy.
Wear cologne. This is only optional, of course, and the appropriateness of cologne will depend on the occasion. A little spritz before a date can go a long way, for instance. Just make sure that you use a little spritz and do not soak yourself in it, since an overpowering smell will turn people away.
2. Acting Suave
2-1. Master a debonair smile.
A well-timed smile can work wonders. Make your smile look as natural as possible, and use it to express self-confidence and an appreciation of the company you're presently keeping.
Smiling is especially important if you are trying to make a good impression on a woman. Typically speaking, a man has more physical power than the average woman has. Most women know this and will stay away from you if they perceive you to be potentially dangerous or violent. Smiling sends the message that you are friendly and less likely to be a threat.
Make sure that you are smiling and not leering, though. An appreciative grin or quick flash of your pearly whites is all it takes. If you stare her down hungrily with a huge smile plastered across your face, you could end up seeming more creepy than suave.
2-2. Use open, inviting body language.
While there can be some appeal to a guy who seems a little aloof, aloofness and suaveness do not blend well. If you want to be a suave gentleman, you need to use body language that seems warm and welcoming so that the people around you feel comfortable.
An example of closed body language would be crossing your arms. This puts a physical barrier between you and the person you are speaking to. Likewise, pointing your body or head in a direction pointing away from the person you're talking to conveys the message that your attention is directed, in part, toward something else.
People revert to closed body language because it feels safer and reduces the risk of rejection. To seem suave, you need to expect and invite people to accept you, which requires open body language.
2-3. Make eye contact.
Eye contact lets the people around you know that you're listening and paying attention to them. Plus, focusing on eye contact can prevent your eyes from straying to other areas that you could get in trouble for staring at.
Direct eye contact can also make you seem more attractive to women. It produces a physiological response that keeps the brain interested, and as a result, you seem more interesting, as well.
There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, though. If you stare a woman down without blinking or occasionally turning away, you're likely to scare her off.
A good way to tell if you're doing it right is to gauge a woman's response to your eye contact. If she maintains eye contact back, that's a good sign. It can also be a good sign if she smiles shyly and looks away while stealing glances back into your eyes every now and then. It is a very bad sign if she attempts to put distance in between you and her, though, or if she looks away keeps her eyes from looking back into yours.
2-4. Nod your head.
Knowing how to nod in a suave way can take time, and it may not feel natural at first. A quick, affirmative head nod can add a touch of class to your verbal responses, however.
Nodding is one of the more subtle forms of body language. If you like the way a conversation is going, give a little nod and continue to do so every now and then. If you do not like the way a conversation is heading, stop nodding. Most people, especially women, will pick up on this polite and nonverbal cue.
In many cases, you will also notice that people, particularly women, tend to get a little more invested in a conversation once you start nodding. This signals to them that you find what they say to be interesting, and the subtlety of this move is what makes it so suave.
2-5. Stand a little closer.
When talking to someone you want to impress with your suave demeanor, move in a little closer to make a stronger impression. This little extra bit of personal attention can add a lot of power to your act.
If you're standing, take a step or two closer. When you're sitting, lean in. If either option feels unnatural for a certain circumstance, you can convey the same attitude simply by leaning your head toward the person you're speaking with.
2-6. Understand the power of touch.
A light, friendly touch can be a good way to display the sort of confident, warm demeanor you need to be suave.
Most people in our society tend to be a little impersonal with people they do not know well. As such, we use very little touch on an everyday basis. Slightly brushing against an appropriate area, like a hand or a shoulder, can offer just enough touch to a touch-starved woman to make her want more.
Pay attention to body language. If you touch a girl and she tenses up or backs away, she is not comfortable with your touch. If she relaxes or leans into your touch, you're doing it the right way.
2-7. Demonstrate self-confidence.
When all else fails, just keep in mind that you need to appear confident to those around you to leave a suave impression. Your body language and behavior should all ooze with self-confidence. Just be careful to avoid seeming narcissistic.
Along with many of the tips already mentioned, you need to have a confident posture. In other words, no slouching is allowed. Keep your back straight and your shoulders squared.
2-8. Be a gentleman.
Another key element of being suave is knowing how to be a gentleman. Never push or pry your way into someone's personal space, and treat others with respect. Nothing screams “suave” more than a man who knows how to treat both himself and others right.
3. Using Suave Lingo
3-1. Enhance your vocabulary.
If you want to take it all to the next level, work on enhancing your vocabulary and becoming a more proficient speaker. An enhanced vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence and wit, both of which can be highly attractive qualities.
A natural way to enhance your vocabulary is to read more. As an added benefit, your knowledge base will increase alongside your vocabulary.
Speaking with a lot of slang is not recommended. Slang is very “common” in terms of language, but in order to be suave, you need to be more than common.
3-2. Speak naturally.
Even though an advanced vocabulary can be a good trait to possess, you should never try to push it. It will be obvious if you are forcing yourself to use words that feel unnatural to you. Instead, opt for a more polished form of your natural way of speaking.
As a rule of thumb, if you have never heard a word in a sentence or have only heard a word once or twice, you should probably avoid using it.
3-3. Be careful with pet names.
You might think that pet names can seem endearing, but many people consider them to be condescending or rude. Wait until after you have developed some sort of personal relationship with a person before using pet names, especially when dealing with women.
Even after you get to know a girl, you should be careful about pet names. Try it once. If the person you speak to has a positive reaction, you can keep using that pet name, as long as you occasionally use her real name, as well. If you get a negative reaction, you should just stick with the real name all the time.
3-4. Keep the conversation going.
Being a good conversationalist goes hand in hand with appearing self-confident and intelligent. A guy who can maintain a conversation in a smooth manner will seem more intriguing and pleasant to be around.
Warnings
Be mindful of how people respond as you put on your suave act. Even if you do everything right, with all the different personality types in the world, there's bound to be at least one person who will not appreciate your smooth behavior. Try not to take it to heart and play it cool instead of getting upset.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Suave\\n1-1. Dress to impress.\\nA significant part of being suave is looking the part. As a general rule, wear the best clothes you can get away with for any occasion and choose clothes that fit your body well.\\nIf you do not know what clothes would be considered “impressive,” try asking for advice. You can ask a stylish man you know, but an even better bet might be to ask for a woman's advice. A woman will know exactly what styles look suave on a man from a woman's perspective.\\nIf you do not have a girl in your life whom you can ask personally, check out men's fashion sources online that are written by women. One such example would be the Style Girlfriend blog (https://stylegirlfriend.com/).\\n1-2. Wear the right clothes for the right occasion.\\nIf you want to look suave, you need to know when to play your style up and when to dress it down. Looking too formal can actually work against you on your quest for suaveness.\\nA suit will look out of place for a trip to the grocery store, yet it can be very dapper for a night at a high-class restaurant.\\nOn occasions when the most appropriate outfit is a t-shirt and jeans, make sure that the clothes you wear are clean and free of rips or tears. Well-fitting clothes that are in good shape can be dashing even if they aren't as formal as a suit and tie.\\n1-3. Find a style icon.\\nIf you aren't sure about what a “suave” style looks like, look to the professionals. Think of a gentleman who you consider to be the very epitome of suave and take notes on how he dresses.\\nChoosing a style icon from the modern era can help you figure out what clothes are presently considered fashionable for men. If you cannot think of any off the top of your head, go browsing through a magazine or blog like GQ Style (http://www.gq.com/style/blogs/the-gq-eye) D'Marge (http://www.dmarge.com/), or Inventory (http://www.inventorymagazine.com/updates/).\\nYou can also take a look at the past to gain insight into how “suave” looks.Even though men of today's era can be fashionable, not all men's fashions are considered “suave\\\". Many male icons from the 1940s and 1950s were considered to be very suave, however. As an added bonus, you can look to these icons as examples of both suave fashion and suave behavior.\\n1-4. Be the master of your own style.\\nWhile you can look to others as you develop a suave look, ultimately, you need to develop your own sense of style. Doing so will let you feel more confident in your clothes, which will give you a much more suave ambiance.\\n1-5. Keep an eye on the details.\\nGuys may think that accessories are for women, but a suave gentleman knows how to choose accessories to enhance his look. These little details can take your outfit up an extra notch and round off the entire look.\\nIn particular, make use of ties, hats, masculine scarves, jackets or blazers, and shoes.\\nIf you feel a little bolder, you could also try carrying around something old-fashioned like a pocket watch or handkerchief.\\n1-6. Be hygienic.\\nYou cannot be suave if you look (and smell) like you haven't bathed in a week or brushed your teeth in a month. Good hygiene is the polish that makes a suave outfit shine.\\nKeep a trim look. The hair on your head and the hair on your face needs to be kept tidy. You do not necessarily need to be clean-shaven, but if you have facial hair of some sort, you need to keep it regularly trimmed and looking its finest. Otherwise, you can be clean while still looking grungy.\\nWear cologne. This is only optional, of course, and the appropriateness of cologne will depend on the occasion. A little spritz before a date can go a long way, for instance. Just make sure that you use a little spritz and do not soak yourself in it, since an overpowering smell will turn people away.\\n2. Acting Suave\\n2-1. Master a debonair smile.\\nA well-timed smile can work wonders. Make your smile look as natural as possible, and use it to express self-confidence and an appreciation of the company you're presently keeping.\\nSmiling is especially important if you are trying to make a good impression on a woman. Typically speaking, a man has more physical power than the average woman has. Most women know this and will stay away from you if they perceive you to be potentially dangerous or violent. Smiling sends the message that you are friendly and less likely to be a threat.\\nMake sure that you are smiling and not leering, though. An appreciative grin or quick flash of your pearly whites is all it takes. If you stare her down hungrily with a huge smile plastered across your face, you could end up seeming more creepy than suave.\\n2-2. Use open, inviting body language.\\nWhile there can be some appeal to a guy who seems a little aloof, aloofness and suaveness do not blend well. If you want to be a suave gentleman, you need to use body language that seems warm and welcoming so that the people around you feel comfortable.\\nAn example of closed body language would be crossing your arms. This puts a physical barrier between you and the person you are speaking to. Likewise, pointing your body or head in a direction pointing away from the person you're talking to conveys the message that your attention is directed, in part, toward something else.\\nPeople revert to closed body language because it feels safer and reduces the risk of rejection. To seem suave, you need to expect and invite people to accept you, which requires open body language.\\n2-3. Make eye contact.\\nEye contact lets the people around you know that you're listening and paying attention to them. Plus, focusing on eye contact can prevent your eyes from straying to other areas that you could get in trouble for staring at.\\nDirect eye contact can also make you seem more attractive to women. It produces a physiological response that keeps the brain interested, and as a result, you seem more interesting, as well.\\nThere is such a thing as too much of a good thing, though. If you stare a woman down without blinking or occasionally turning away, you're likely to scare her off.\\nA good way to tell if you're doing it right is to gauge a woman's response to your eye contact. If she maintains eye contact back, that's a good sign. It can also be a good sign if she smiles shyly and looks away while stealing glances back into your eyes every now and then. It is a very bad sign if she attempts to put distance in between you and her, though, or if she looks away keeps her eyes from looking back into yours.\\n2-4. Nod your head.\\nKnowing how to nod in a suave way can take time, and it may not feel natural at first. A quick, affirmative head nod can add a touch of class to your verbal responses, however.\\nNodding is one of the more subtle forms of body language. If you like the way a conversation is going, give a little nod and continue to do so every now and then. If you do not like the way a conversation is heading, stop nodding. Most people, especially women, will pick up on this polite and nonverbal cue.\\nIn many cases, you will also notice that people, particularly women, tend to get a little more invested in a conversation once you start nodding. This signals to them that you find what they say to be interesting, and the subtlety of this move is what makes it so suave.\\n2-5. Stand a little closer.\\nWhen talking to someone you want to impress with your suave demeanor, move in a little closer to make a stronger impression. This little extra bit of personal attention can add a lot of power to your act.\\nIf you're standing, take a step or two closer. When you're sitting, lean in. If either option feels unnatural for a certain circumstance, you can convey the same attitude simply by leaning your head toward the person you're speaking with.\\n2-6. Understand the power of touch.\\nA light, friendly touch can be a good way to display the sort of confident, warm demeanor you need to be suave.\\nMost people in our society tend to be a little impersonal with people they do not know well. As such, we use very little touch on an everyday basis. Slightly brushing against an appropriate area, like a hand or a shoulder, can offer just enough touch to a touch-starved woman to make her want more.\\nPay attention to body language. If you touch a girl and she tenses up or backs away, she is not comfortable with your touch. If she relaxes or leans into your touch, you're doing it the right way.\\n2-7. Demonstrate self-confidence.\\nWhen all else fails, just keep in mind that you need to appear confident to those around you to leave a suave impression. Your body language and behavior should all ooze with self-confidence. Just be careful to avoid seeming narcissistic.\\nAlong with many of the tips already mentioned, you need to have a confident posture. In other words, no slouching is allowed. Keep your back straight and your shoulders squared.\\n2-8. Be a gentleman.\\nAnother key element of being suave is knowing how to be a gentleman. Never push or pry your way into someone's personal space, and treat others with respect. Nothing screams “suave” more than a man who knows how to treat both himself and others right.\\n3. Using Suave Lingo\\n3-1. Enhance your vocabulary.\\nIf you want to take it all to the next level, work on enhancing your vocabulary and becoming a more proficient speaker. An enhanced vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence and wit, both of which can be highly attractive qualities.\\nA natural way to enhance your vocabulary is to read more. As an added benefit, your knowledge base will increase alongside your vocabulary.\\nSpeaking with a lot of slang is not recommended. Slang is very “common” in terms of language, but in order to be suave, you need to be more than common.\\n3-2. Speak naturally.\\nEven though an advanced vocabulary can be a good trait to possess, you should never try to push it. It will be obvious if you are forcing yourself to use words that feel unnatural to you. Instead, opt for a more polished form of your natural way of speaking.\\nAs a rule of thumb, if you have never heard a word in a sentence or have only heard a word once or twice, you should probably avoid using it.\\n3-3. Be careful with pet names.\\nYou might think that pet names can seem endearing, but many people consider them to be condescending or rude. Wait until after you have developed some sort of personal relationship with a person before using pet names, especially when dealing with women.\\nEven after you get to know a girl, you should be careful about pet names. Try it once. If the person you speak to has a positive reaction, you can keep using that pet name, as long as you occasionally use her real name, as well. If you get a negative reaction, you should just stick with the real name all the time.\\n3-4. Keep the conversation going.\\nBeing a good conversationalist goes hand in hand with appearing self-confident and intelligent. A guy who can maintain a conversation in a smooth manner will seem more intriguing and pleasant to be around.\\nWarnings\\nBe mindful of how people respond as you put on your suave act. Even if you do everything right, with all the different personality types in the world, there's bound to be at least one person who will not appreciate your smooth behavior. Try not to take it to heart and play it cool instead of getting upset.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a suave guy can make you seem impressive to the people around you and attractive to the women you meet. In order to become suave, you must first practice looking, acting, and speaking in a sophisticated and classy manner. Gradually, these new actions will become a habit, and you will truly be able to call yourself a suave gentleman. Keep reading to learn more about the habits you should consider developing.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Suave\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress to impress.\", \"描述\": \"A significant part of being suave is looking the part. As a general rule, wear the best clothes you can get away with for any occasion and choose clothes that fit your body well.\\nIf you do not know what clothes would be considered “impressive,” try asking for advice. You can ask a stylish man you know, but an even better bet might be to ask for a woman's advice. A woman will know exactly what styles look suave on a man from a woman's perspective.\\nIf you do not have a girl in your life whom you can ask personally, check out men's fashion sources online that are written by women. One such example would be the Style Girlfriend blog (https://stylegirlfriend.com/).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear the right clothes for the right occasion.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to look suave, you need to know when to play your style up and when to dress it down. Looking too formal can actually work against you on your quest for suaveness.\\nA suit will look out of place for a trip to the grocery store, yet it can be very dapper for a night at a high-class restaurant.\\nOn occasions when the most appropriate outfit is a t-shirt and jeans, make sure that the clothes you wear are clean and free of rips or tears. Well-fitting clothes that are in good shape can be dashing even if they aren't as formal as a suit and tie.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a style icon.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren't sure about what a “suave” style looks like, look to the professionals. Think of a gentleman who you consider to be the very epitome of suave and take notes on how he dresses.\\nChoosing a style icon from the modern era can help you figure out what clothes are presently considered fashionable for men. If you cannot think of any off the top of your head, go browsing through a magazine or blog like GQ Style (http://www.gq.com/style/blogs/the-gq-eye) D'Marge (http://www.dmarge.com/), or Inventory (http://www.inventorymagazine.com/updates/).\\nYou can also take a look at the past to gain insight into how “suave” looks.Even though men of today's era can be fashionable, not all men's fashions are considered “suave\\\". Many male icons from the 1940s and 1950s were considered to be very suave, however. As an added bonus, you can look to these icons as examples of both suave fashion and suave behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be the master of your own style.\", \"描述\": \"While you can look to others as you develop a suave look, ultimately, you need to develop your own sense of style. Doing so will let you feel more confident in your clothes, which will give you a much more suave ambiance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep an eye on the details.\", \"描述\": \"Guys may think that accessories are for women, but a suave gentleman knows how to choose accessories to enhance his look. These little details can take your outfit up an extra notch and round off the entire look.\\nIn particular, make use of ties, hats, masculine scarves, jackets or blazers, and shoes.\\nIf you feel a little bolder, you could also try carrying around something old-fashioned like a pocket watch or handkerchief.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be hygienic.\", \"描述\": \"You cannot be suave if you look (and smell) like you haven't bathed in a week or brushed your teeth in a month. Good hygiene is the polish that makes a suave outfit shine.\\nKeep a trim look. The hair on your head and the hair on your face needs to be kept tidy. You do not necessarily need to be clean-shaven, but if you have facial hair of some sort, you need to keep it regularly trimmed and looking its finest. Otherwise, you can be clean while still looking grungy.\\nWear cologne. This is only optional, of course, and the appropriateness of cologne will depend on the occasion. A little spritz before a date can go a long way, for instance. Just make sure that you use a little spritz and do not soak yourself in it, since an overpowering smell will turn people away.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Suave\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Master a debonair smile.\", \"描述\": \"A well-timed smile can work wonders. Make your smile look as natural as possible, and use it to express self-confidence and an appreciation of the company you're presently keeping.\\nSmiling is especially important if you are trying to make a good impression on a woman. Typically speaking, a man has more physical power than the average woman has. Most women know this and will stay away from you if they perceive you to be potentially dangerous or violent. Smiling sends the message that you are friendly and less likely to be a threat.\\nMake sure that you are smiling and not leering, though. An appreciative grin or quick flash of your pearly whites is all it takes. If you stare her down hungrily with a huge smile plastered across your face, you could end up seeming more creepy than suave.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use open, inviting body language.\", \"描述\": \"While there can be some appeal to a guy who seems a little aloof, aloofness and suaveness do not blend well. If you want to be a suave gentleman, you need to use body language that seems warm and welcoming so that the people around you feel comfortable.\\nAn example of closed body language would be crossing your arms. This puts a physical barrier between you and the person you are speaking to. Likewise, pointing your body or head in a direction pointing away from the person you're talking to conveys the message that your attention is directed, in part, toward something else.\\nPeople revert to closed body language because it feels safer and reduces the risk of rejection. To seem suave, you need to expect and invite people to accept you, which requires open body language.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Eye contact lets the people around you know that you're listening and paying attention to them. Plus, focusing on eye contact can prevent your eyes from straying to other areas that you could get in trouble for staring at.\\nDirect eye contact can also make you seem more attractive to women. It produces a physiological response that keeps the brain interested, and as a result, you seem more interesting, as well.\\nThere is such a thing as too much of a good thing, though. If you stare a woman down without blinking or occasionally turning away, you're likely to scare her off.\\nA good way to tell if you're doing it right is to gauge a woman's response to your eye contact. If she maintains eye contact back, that's a good sign. It can also be a good sign if she smiles shyly and looks away while stealing glances back into your eyes every now and then. It is a very bad sign if she attempts to put distance in between you and her, though, or if she looks away keeps her eyes from looking back into yours.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Nod your head.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing how to nod in a suave way can take time, and it may not feel natural at first. A quick, affirmative head nod can add a touch of class to your verbal responses, however.\\nNodding is one of the more subtle forms of body language. If you like the way a conversation is going, give a little nod and continue to do so every now and then. If you do not like the way a conversation is heading, stop nodding. Most people, especially women, will pick up on this polite and nonverbal cue.\\nIn many cases, you will also notice that people, particularly women, tend to get a little more invested in a conversation once you start nodding. This signals to them that you find what they say to be interesting, and the subtlety of this move is what makes it so suave.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stand a little closer.\", \"描述\": \"When talking to someone you want to impress with your suave demeanor, move in a little closer to make a stronger impression. This little extra bit of personal attention can add a lot of power to your act.\\nIf you're standing, take a step or two closer. When you're sitting, lean in. If either option feels unnatural for a certain circumstance, you can convey the same attitude simply by leaning your head toward the person you're speaking with.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Understand the power of touch.\", \"描述\": \"A light, friendly touch can be a good way to display the sort of confident, warm demeanor you need to be suave.\\nMost people in our society tend to be a little impersonal with people they do not know well. As such, we use very little touch on an everyday basis. Slightly brushing against an appropriate area, like a hand or a shoulder, can offer just enough touch to a touch-starved woman to make her want more.\\nPay attention to body language. If you touch a girl and she tenses up or backs away, she is not comfortable with your touch. If she relaxes or leans into your touch, you're doing it the right way.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate self-confidence.\", \"描述\": \"When all else fails, just keep in mind that you need to appear confident to those around you to leave a suave impression. Your body language and behavior should all ooze with self-confidence. Just be careful to avoid seeming narcissistic.\\nAlong with many of the tips already mentioned, you need to have a confident posture. In other words, no slouching is allowed. Keep your back straight and your shoulders squared.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be a gentleman.\", \"描述\": \"Another key element of being suave is knowing how to be a gentleman. Never push or pry your way into someone's personal space, and treat others with respect. Nothing screams “suave” more than a man who knows how to treat both himself and others right.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Suave Lingo\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enhance your vocabulary.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to take it all to the next level, work on enhancing your vocabulary and becoming a more proficient speaker. An enhanced vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence and wit, both of which can be highly attractive qualities.\\nA natural way to enhance your vocabulary is to read more. As an added benefit, your knowledge base will increase alongside your vocabulary.\\nSpeaking with a lot of slang is not recommended. Slang is very “common” in terms of language, but in order to be suave, you need to be more than common.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak naturally.\", \"描述\": \"Even though an advanced vocabulary can be a good trait to possess, you should never try to push it. It will be obvious if you are forcing yourself to use words that feel unnatural to you. Instead, opt for a more polished form of your natural way of speaking.\\nAs a rule of thumb, if you have never heard a word in a sentence or have only heard a word once or twice, you should probably avoid using it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be careful with pet names.\", \"描述\": \"You might think that pet names can seem endearing, but many people consider them to be condescending or rude. Wait until after you have developed some sort of personal relationship with a person before using pet names, especially when dealing with women.\\nEven after you get to know a girl, you should be careful about pet names. Try it once. If the person you speak to has a positive reaction, you can keep using that pet name, as long as you occasionally use her real name, as well. If you get a negative reaction, you should just stick with the real name all the time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep the conversation going.\", \"描述\": \"Being a good conversationalist goes hand in hand with appearing self-confident and intelligent. A guy who can maintain a conversation in a smooth manner will seem more intriguing and pleasant to be around.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Be mindful of how people respond as you put on your suave act. Even if you do everything right, with all the different personality types in the world, there's bound to be at least one person who will not appreciate your smooth behavior. Try not to take it to heart and play it cool instead of getting upset.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,196 | How to Be Subtle About Getting a Guy to Call You | 1. Finding Reasons to Give Him Your Number
1-1. Put together a study group and invite him.
If you’re in school and have any classes with the guy you like, put together a study group with people in your class and tell everyone you need their numbers to plan the group. This is a subtle way to exchange numbers with the guy you like, and also have a reason for him to call or text you.
You could even offer to study with him one on one for an upcoming exam, or ask if he ever wants to do homework together. Then, ask to exchange numbers so you can plan a time to meet up to study.
1-2. Use social media.
If you are friends with the guy you like on social media, post that you have a new phone and need everyone’s numbers. If you’re close enough with him, he might send you his number, and you can send him a text so he has yours.#* If you aren’t friends with him on social media, add him! This is another easy way to get him to communicate with you that often takes off a little bit of the pressure.
1-3. Ask to borrow his phone.
Pretend you need to use his phone, then once he gives it to you, program your number into it. You could also ask to see his phone so you can show him something online, or tell him you’ve misplaced your phone and need him to call it. Then, you will have his number stored in your call log, and you can text him with yours!
Never take his phone without asking. This is risky, and also could be seen as pushy, or invasive. Casually ask to borrow his phone, instead.
1-4. Create an excuse to have him call.
If he isn’t picking up on your hints about wanting him to call you, you can find a reason to call him instead. Maybe you missed class one day last week and need notes or the homework assignment, or maybe he lives in your apartment complex and you need someone to pick up your mail the day you’ll be out of town. Find a casual reason to ask for his number, and call him yourself.
If you don’t know him very well, or at all, this option might be more difficult.
1-5. Use your surroundings.
If you met him at a coffee shop, strike up a conversation about the best coffee places in the area, and ask for his suggestions. Ask him if he would like to give you a call later on and plan a time to hit up a different shop. If you know him from school, ask him if he knows anyone who might be able to tutor you in something, and ask to exchange numbers in case he knows of someone.
Think of a reason you might need to exchange numbers that doesn’t involve explicitly asking him on a date. That way, the ball will be in his court, so to speak.
2. Getting Him to Use Your Number
2-1. Mention casually that you’ve got no plans.
Once he has your number and knows you want him to call, give him a reason to make the call. Let him know you’re free, and then he might get the hint that you want him to call and make plans with you.
Alternatively, you could mention you do have plans, like an outing or event you’re attending, and ask him to give you a call if he would like to come along.
2-2. Remind him that he has your number.
Once he has your number, if he doesn’t call right away, you can always find subtle ways to remind him he has it. For example, you might be talking about a big test coming up, and say, “You can always give me a call if you need help studying.”
If you’re talking about potentially hanging out or spending time together, you could also say, “You have my number, right?”
2-3. Make loose plans to encourage him to call.
More often than not, guys aren’t going to be very savvy to subtlety, so you may have to give him some hints. You don’t have to demand it, or be too forward. Just let him know you want him to give you a call. You can even ask him to call you about something specific, so it seems less romantic.
Try something like, “Give me a call if you ever want to check out that new movie” or “Call me if you need help with the homework.”
Say something like, “I’d really like it if you gave me a call sometime.” This way, you’re letting him know you’re interested and want him to call, but not demanding it or giving him any kind of deadline to do so.
3. Reminding Him of You
3-1. Make friends with his friends.
If you already have a mutual friend or two, use that friend as a way to talk to him, or as a conversation starter. Or, you could ask your mutual friend to introduce you if you don’t know the guy you like very well yet. Hang out as a group and get on his radar so he’s more likely to call.
Make sure you don’t say anything negative about your mutual friends to the guy you like. You don’t want to come off as a person who talks behind other people’s backs, or as a negative person in general.
3-2. Join a club he’s in.
If the guy you like is part of a club or organization at school, join up! Not only will you see each other at meetings, you will also have something new in common, and a new reason to need to talk to each other, which will give him a reason to call.
Use the club as a conversation starter, then you can veer off into other topics. Show him you’re actually interested in the club you joined, and not just because of him.
3-3. Go to places you know he frequents.
Even if he’s a football player and you hate football, hit up practice one afternoon, or go to a game. If you know he does his laundry or drops his dry cleaning at a certain location, make that your new laundry spot, too. If he always eats lunch at a certain place, you should eat there, too. The more you pop up in his day to day life, the more you’ll be on his mind, and the more likely he will be to call.
Try not to be too overbearing with this. You don’t want to make him feel like you’re stalking him, or following him around.
4. Waiting On and Taking the Call
4-1. Stay busy and don’t worry.
If you sit around waiting for him to call, you might drive yourself crazy. Go about your everyday life, and try to forget about it. That way, when he does call, it won’t feel like you were waiting for too long.
Don’t overthink it if he doesn’t call you right away, or even if he doesn’t call at all. More than likely, he got busy and forgot, or maybe he’s just as nervous as you are and isn’t sure when to make that move.
4-2. Avoid calling him first.
Give him a chance to call you. Guys like a challenge, so don’t throw yourself at him by calling him too soon after asking him to call you. Make sure he feels like you’re still out of his reach, so he has something to go after.
Since you were the one to ask for the call, let him be the one to make the next move. Let him feel like the ball is in his court, so to speak.
Plus, calling someone out of the blue can put too much pressure on them to answer the phone.
4-3. Keep the first call brief.
Keeping it under 10 minutes is a good idea. Most guys don’t like to spend a lot of time on the phone, so if you keep talking too long, he might get bored and not want to call you again.
Try to have a purpose for the call. For example, have a few things you want to talk about already in your mind before he calls. That way, you won’t end up with any awkward dead air, and neither of you will get bored.
Tips
Patience is key! Give him time to call you.
Avoid being overly critical of yourself. If he doesn’t call right away, don’t let your go-to response be self doubt. Remember, you’re worth the call!
Watch for signs that he wants to take things further. If he calls you and it goes well, send him a text later on. Set a date. Spend some time together. If he has a good time and asks for another date, keep pursuing him.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Reasons to Give Him Your Number\\n1-1. Put together a study group and invite him.\\nIf you’re in school and have any classes with the guy you like, put together a study group with people in your class and tell everyone you need their numbers to plan the group. This is a subtle way to exchange numbers with the guy you like, and also have a reason for him to call or text you.\\nYou could even offer to study with him one on one for an upcoming exam, or ask if he ever wants to do homework together. Then, ask to exchange numbers so you can plan a time to meet up to study.\\n1-2. Use social media.\\nIf you are friends with the guy you like on social media, post that you have a new phone and need everyone’s numbers. If you’re close enough with him, he might send you his number, and you can send him a text so he has yours.#* If you aren’t friends with him on social media, add him! This is another easy way to get him to communicate with you that often takes off a little bit of the pressure.\\n1-3. Ask to borrow his phone.\\nPretend you need to use his phone, then once he gives it to you, program your number into it. You could also ask to see his phone so you can show him something online, or tell him you’ve misplaced your phone and need him to call it. Then, you will have his number stored in your call log, and you can text him with yours!\\nNever take his phone without asking. This is risky, and also could be seen as pushy, or invasive. Casually ask to borrow his phone, instead.\\n1-4. Create an excuse to have him call.\\nIf he isn’t picking up on your hints about wanting him to call you, you can find a reason to call him instead. Maybe you missed class one day last week and need notes or the homework assignment, or maybe he lives in your apartment complex and you need someone to pick up your mail the day you’ll be out of town. Find a casual reason to ask for his number, and call him yourself.\\nIf you don’t know him very well, or at all, this option might be more difficult.\\n1-5. Use your surroundings.\\nIf you met him at a coffee shop, strike up a conversation about the best coffee places in the area, and ask for his suggestions. Ask him if he would like to give you a call later on and plan a time to hit up a different shop. If you know him from school, ask him if he knows anyone who might be able to tutor you in something, and ask to exchange numbers in case he knows of someone.\\nThink of a reason you might need to exchange numbers that doesn’t involve explicitly asking him on a date. That way, the ball will be in his court, so to speak.\\n2. Getting Him to Use Your Number\\n2-1. Mention casually that you’ve got no plans.\\nOnce he has your number and knows you want him to call, give him a reason to make the call. Let him know you’re free, and then he might get the hint that you want him to call and make plans with you.\\nAlternatively, you could mention you do have plans, like an outing or event you’re attending, and ask him to give you a call if he would like to come along.\\n2-2. Remind him that he has your number.\\nOnce he has your number, if he doesn’t call right away, you can always find subtle ways to remind him he has it. For example, you might be talking about a big test coming up, and say, “You can always give me a call if you need help studying.”\\nIf you’re talking about potentially hanging out or spending time together, you could also say, “You have my number, right?”\\n2-3. Make loose plans to encourage him to call.\\nMore often than not, guys aren’t going to be very savvy to subtlety, so you may have to give him some hints. You don’t have to demand it, or be too forward. Just let him know you want him to give you a call. You can even ask him to call you about something specific, so it seems less romantic.\\nTry something like, “Give me a call if you ever want to check out that new movie” or “Call me if you need help with the homework.”\\nSay something like, “I’d really like it if you gave me a call sometime.” This way, you’re letting him know you’re interested and want him to call, but not demanding it or giving him any kind of deadline to do so.\\n3. Reminding Him of You\\n3-1. Make friends with his friends.\\nIf you already have a mutual friend or two, use that friend as a way to talk to him, or as a conversation starter. Or, you could ask your mutual friend to introduce you if you don’t know the guy you like very well yet. Hang out as a group and get on his radar so he’s more likely to call.\\nMake sure you don’t say anything negative about your mutual friends to the guy you like. You don’t want to come off as a person who talks behind other people’s backs, or as a negative person in general.\\n3-2. Join a club he’s in.\\nIf the guy you like is part of a club or organization at school, join up! Not only will you see each other at meetings, you will also have something new in common, and a new reason to need to talk to each other, which will give him a reason to call.\\nUse the club as a conversation starter, then you can veer off into other topics. Show him you’re actually interested in the club you joined, and not just because of him.\\n3-3. Go to places you know he frequents.\\nEven if he’s a football player and you hate football, hit up practice one afternoon, or go to a game. If you know he does his laundry or drops his dry cleaning at a certain location, make that your new laundry spot, too. If he always eats lunch at a certain place, you should eat there, too. The more you pop up in his day to day life, the more you’ll be on his mind, and the more likely he will be to call.\\nTry not to be too overbearing with this. You don’t want to make him feel like you’re stalking him, or following him around.\\n4. Waiting On and Taking the Call\\n4-1. Stay busy and don’t worry.\\nIf you sit around waiting for him to call, you might drive yourself crazy. Go about your everyday life, and try to forget about it. That way, when he does call, it won’t feel like you were waiting for too long.\\nDon’t overthink it if he doesn’t call you right away, or even if he doesn’t call at all. More than likely, he got busy and forgot, or maybe he’s just as nervous as you are and isn’t sure when to make that move.\\n4-2. Avoid calling him first.\\nGive him a chance to call you. Guys like a challenge, so don’t throw yourself at him by calling him too soon after asking him to call you. Make sure he feels like you’re still out of his reach, so he has something to go after.\\nSince you were the one to ask for the call, let him be the one to make the next move. Let him feel like the ball is in his court, so to speak.\\nPlus, calling someone out of the blue can put too much pressure on them to answer the phone.\\n4-3. Keep the first call brief.\\nKeeping it under 10 minutes is a good idea. Most guys don’t like to spend a lot of time on the phone, so if you keep talking too long, he might get bored and not want to call you again.\\nTry to have a purpose for the call. For example, have a few things you want to talk about already in your mind before he calls. That way, you won’t end up with any awkward dead air, and neither of you will get bored.\\nTips\\nPatience is key! Give him time to call you.\\nAvoid being overly critical of yourself. If he doesn’t call right away, don’t let your go-to response be self doubt. Remember, you’re worth the call!\\nWatch for signs that he wants to take things further. If he calls you and it goes well, send him a text later on. Set a date. Spend some time together. If he has a good time and asks for another date, keep pursuing him.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can feel awkward getting a guy you like to call you. Simply handing over your phone number can feel intimidating, so your best bet is to try and be a little more subtle about it. Once he has your number, giving him some space and letting him make the next move is important. If you’re patient and confident, you will feel much less anxious.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Reasons to Give Him Your Number\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put together a study group and invite him.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re in school and have any classes with the guy you like, put together a study group with people in your class and tell everyone you need their numbers to plan the group. This is a subtle way to exchange numbers with the guy you like, and also have a reason for him to call or text you.\\nYou could even offer to study with him one on one for an upcoming exam, or ask if he ever wants to do homework together. Then, ask to exchange numbers so you can plan a time to meet up to study.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use social media.\", \"描述\": \"If you are friends with the guy you like on social media, post that you have a new phone and need everyone’s numbers. If you’re close enough with him, he might send you his number, and you can send him a text so he has yours.#* If you aren’t friends with him on social media, add him! This is another easy way to get him to communicate with you that often takes off a little bit of the pressure.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask to borrow his phone.\", \"描述\": \"Pretend you need to use his phone, then once he gives it to you, program your number into it. You could also ask to see his phone so you can show him something online, or tell him you’ve misplaced your phone and need him to call it. Then, you will have his number stored in your call log, and you can text him with yours!\\nNever take his phone without asking. This is risky, and also could be seen as pushy, or invasive. Casually ask to borrow his phone, instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create an excuse to have him call.\", \"描述\": \"If he isn’t picking up on your hints about wanting him to call you, you can find a reason to call him instead. Maybe you missed class one day last week and need notes or the homework assignment, or maybe he lives in your apartment complex and you need someone to pick up your mail the day you’ll be out of town. Find a casual reason to ask for his number, and call him yourself.\\nIf you don’t know him very well, or at all, this option might be more difficult.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use your surroundings.\", \"描述\": \"If you met him at a coffee shop, strike up a conversation about the best coffee places in the area, and ask for his suggestions. Ask him if he would like to give you a call later on and plan a time to hit up a different shop. If you know him from school, ask him if he knows anyone who might be able to tutor you in something, and ask to exchange numbers in case he knows of someone.\\nThink of a reason you might need to exchange numbers that doesn’t involve explicitly asking him on a date. That way, the ball will be in his court, so to speak.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Him to Use Your Number\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Mention casually that you’ve got no plans.\", \"描述\": \"Once he has your number and knows you want him to call, give him a reason to make the call. Let him know you’re free, and then he might get the hint that you want him to call and make plans with you.\\nAlternatively, you could mention you do have plans, like an outing or event you’re attending, and ask him to give you a call if he would like to come along.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remind him that he has your number.\", \"描述\": \"Once he has your number, if he doesn’t call right away, you can always find subtle ways to remind him he has it. For example, you might be talking about a big test coming up, and say, “You can always give me a call if you need help studying.”\\nIf you’re talking about potentially hanging out or spending time together, you could also say, “You have my number, right?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make loose plans to encourage him to call.\", \"描述\": \"More often than not, guys aren’t going to be very savvy to subtlety, so you may have to give him some hints. You don’t have to demand it, or be too forward. Just let him know you want him to give you a call. You can even ask him to call you about something specific, so it seems less romantic.\\nTry something like, “Give me a call if you ever want to check out that new movie” or “Call me if you need help with the homework.”\\nSay something like, “I’d really like it if you gave me a call sometime.” This way, you’re letting him know you’re interested and want him to call, but not demanding it or giving him any kind of deadline to do so.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reminding Him of You\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make friends with his friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you already have a mutual friend or two, use that friend as a way to talk to him, or as a conversation starter. Or, you could ask your mutual friend to introduce you if you don’t know the guy you like very well yet. Hang out as a group and get on his radar so he’s more likely to call.\\nMake sure you don’t say anything negative about your mutual friends to the guy you like. You don’t want to come off as a person who talks behind other people’s backs, or as a negative person in general.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a club he’s in.\", \"描述\": \"If the guy you like is part of a club or organization at school, join up! Not only will you see each other at meetings, you will also have something new in common, and a new reason to need to talk to each other, which will give him a reason to call.\\nUse the club as a conversation starter, then you can veer off into other topics. Show him you’re actually interested in the club you joined, and not just because of him.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go to places you know he frequents.\", \"描述\": \"Even if he’s a football player and you hate football, hit up practice one afternoon, or go to a game. If you know he does his laundry or drops his dry cleaning at a certain location, make that your new laundry spot, too. If he always eats lunch at a certain place, you should eat there, too. The more you pop up in his day to day life, the more you’ll be on his mind, and the more likely he will be to call.\\nTry not to be too overbearing with this. You don’t want to make him feel like you’re stalking him, or following him around.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Waiting On and Taking the Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay busy and don’t worry.\", \"描述\": \"If you sit around waiting for him to call, you might drive yourself crazy. Go about your everyday life, and try to forget about it. That way, when he does call, it won’t feel like you were waiting for too long.\\nDon’t overthink it if he doesn’t call you right away, or even if he doesn’t call at all. More than likely, he got busy and forgot, or maybe he’s just as nervous as you are and isn’t sure when to make that move.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid calling him first.\", \"描述\": \"Give him a chance to call you. Guys like a challenge, so don’t throw yourself at him by calling him too soon after asking him to call you. Make sure he feels like you’re still out of his reach, so he has something to go after.\\nSince you were the one to ask for the call, let him be the one to make the next move. Let him feel like the ball is in his court, so to speak.\\nPlus, calling someone out of the blue can put too much pressure on them to answer the phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep the first call brief.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping it under 10 minutes is a good idea. Most guys don’t like to spend a lot of time on the phone, so if you keep talking too long, he might get bored and not want to call you again.\\nTry to have a purpose for the call. For example, have a few things you want to talk about already in your mind before he calls. That way, you won’t end up with any awkward dead air, and neither of you will get bored.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Patience is key! Give him time to call you.\\n\", \"Avoid being overly critical of yourself. If he doesn’t call right away, don’t let your go-to response be self doubt. Remember, you’re worth the call!\\n\", \"Watch for signs that he wants to take things further. If he calls you and it goes well, send him a text later on. Set a date. Spend some time together. If he has a good time and asks for another date, keep pursuing him.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,197 | How to Be Subtle and Beautiful | 1. Steps
1-1. Think beautiful thoughts.
The "inner glow" that people find beautiful in others will only be genuine and durable if you have a truly beautiful personality. Have a heart that is in the right place, rather than play-acting. If your self-esteem has taken a battering lately, build it back up. Spread kindness, love and consideration for others in place of wallowing in self-pity and comparison.
1-2. Be an attentive listener.
Learn to really hear what others have to say and be genuinely interested in their lives, stories, and hopes. People always respond well to people who care and there is great subtle beauty to be found in being heard.
1-3. Groom well.
Beauty regimes should not take up all of the time but should be straightforward, easy and effective. Invest in quality over quantity - a good hairbrush, a good hair smoothing implement, good makeup, good hair products, etc. When you find something that works, stick with it and keep using it rather than trying too far afield.
1-4. Wear simple but elegant and timeless outfits.
Rely on a base color, such as black, white, brown, pink, etc., and a single pattern. Quality is always better than quantity. Spend money on clothing items that will last and still look lovely, rather than shelling out cash for cheap styles that will wear out quickly or fade out of fashion fast.
1-5. Don't flirt.
Learn ways to show appreciation of others that don't include stooping to manipulative or unloving behavior.
1-6. Don't be saucy.
Be kind in every circumstance, even if it means holding your tongue.
1-7. Dress and behave according to the appropriate social guidelines.
If you are at work, be professional. If you are visiting friends, be a good guest. Consider your circumstances in the way that you react to your environment.
1-8. Become interdependent.
Build up good relationships with other people and be willing to depend on others when need be. Don't be afraid to ask for help- people will appreciate the fact that you can be genuine. Make sure, though, not to infringe on the good-will of your friends unnecessarily.
1-9. Do interesting things.
People find it beautiful when someone is satisfied in life and has a list of interesting hobbies that he or she participates in actively.
1-10. Value education and intelligent conversation.
Nobody likes beauty without brains.
1-11. Be an observer of people.
Learn what makes your friends act the way they do, so that you can be a better friend toward them. You can also learn a lot about people this way, and a knowledge of the way that people function and how to treat others well is essential to being beautiful because it will make you a more aware and considerate person.
1-12. Extend compassion and empathy towards those who need it.
1-13. Readily forgive those who do you harm, and extend grace toward your enemies.
Don't let others take advantage toward you, but be as considerate as possible of people, even if they would injure you. You can't fight fire with fire.
1-14. Smile often.
Smiling may be a small act, but it can have lasting results on other people, because happiness can be contagious!
1-15. Learn to use good body language.
Your body language says a lot about you. Learning to be graceful can help you to appear subtly beautiful.
1-16. When a guest in public places, do practical things to help others out.
When you visit a friend, you could do the dishes or offer to clean up. If you attend a work meeting, check and see if there is some way that you can assist management. Try to do more than just "show up" somewhere- leave an impression on people that you actually enjoyed your time and care about the others that were present.
1-17. Use manners.
Grab a manners guide if you need to, and brush up on what behavior is appropriate in a particular social setting.
1-18. Spend time with people.
Putting out the effort to actually spend time with people is subtly beautiful because it shows how much you care, and that you are willing to prioritize people.
1-19. Do little things to improve your environment- clean up trash in public places, put flowers on your table, or add some other finishing touch to the places you live and work.
These "little touches" are subtly beautiful because they show that beauty is important to you, and that you want your environment to reflect how you feel inside.
1-20. Mature your special gifts and talents.
Everyone has unique gifts: find out what yours are and develop them! It is subtly beautiful when people aspire to reach their potential.
1-21. Be confident.
Don't worry about other people's judgements of you. You are free to be exactly who you are!
1-22. Have goals and hopes.
Having something that you are passionate about to work toward can make you more radiant and give you more direction.
1-23. Learn to be positive.
Maintain a "glass half-full", rather than a "glass half-empty" mentality. Identify what is good in your life, and be thankful for those blessings. Don't complain about everything that is wrong with your life situation, but do look for ways to improve your life and the lives of those around you.
1-24. When you have a meeting or appointment, be on time.
How you treat time shows other people your priorities. Those who value using time wisely can be subtly beautiful.
1-25. Stay informed about the news, current events, and other matters of importance.
Beautiful people care about what's going on around them, not just themselves.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Think beautiful thoughts.\\nThe \\\"inner glow\\\" that people find beautiful in others will only be genuine and durable if you have a truly beautiful personality. Have a heart that is in the right place, rather than play-acting. If your self-esteem has taken a battering lately, build it back up. Spread kindness, love and consideration for others in place of wallowing in self-pity and comparison.\\n1-2. Be an attentive listener.\\nLearn to really hear what others have to say and be genuinely interested in their lives, stories, and hopes. People always respond well to people who care and there is great subtle beauty to be found in being heard.\\n1-3. Groom well.\\nBeauty regimes should not take up all of the time but should be straightforward, easy and effective. Invest in quality over quantity - a good hairbrush, a good hair smoothing implement, good makeup, good hair products, etc. When you find something that works, stick with it and keep using it rather than trying too far afield.\\n1-4. Wear simple but elegant and timeless outfits.\\nRely on a base color, such as black, white, brown, pink, etc., and a single pattern. Quality is always better than quantity. Spend money on clothing items that will last and still look lovely, rather than shelling out cash for cheap styles that will wear out quickly or fade out of fashion fast.\\n1-5. Don't flirt.\\nLearn ways to show appreciation of others that don't include stooping to manipulative or unloving behavior.\\n1-6. Don't be saucy.\\nBe kind in every circumstance, even if it means holding your tongue.\\n1-7. Dress and behave according to the appropriate social guidelines.\\nIf you are at work, be professional. If you are visiting friends, be a good guest. Consider your circumstances in the way that you react to your environment.\\n1-8. Become interdependent.\\nBuild up good relationships with other people and be willing to depend on others when need be. Don't be afraid to ask for help- people will appreciate the fact that you can be genuine. Make sure, though, not to infringe on the good-will of your friends unnecessarily.\\n1-9. Do interesting things.\\nPeople find it beautiful when someone is satisfied in life and has a list of interesting hobbies that he or she participates in actively.\\n1-10. Value education and intelligent conversation.\\nNobody likes beauty without brains.\\n1-11. Be an observer of people.\\nLearn what makes your friends act the way they do, so that you can be a better friend toward them. You can also learn a lot about people this way, and a knowledge of the way that people function and how to treat others well is essential to being beautiful because it will make you a more aware and considerate person.\\n1-12. Extend compassion and empathy towards those who need it.\\n\\n1-13. Readily forgive those who do you harm, and extend grace toward your enemies.\\nDon't let others take advantage toward you, but be as considerate as possible of people, even if they would injure you. You can't fight fire with fire.\\n1-14. Smile often.\\nSmiling may be a small act, but it can have lasting results on other people, because happiness can be contagious!\\n1-15. Learn to use good body language.\\nYour body language says a lot about you. Learning to be graceful can help you to appear subtly beautiful.\\n1-16. When a guest in public places, do practical things to help others out.\\nWhen you visit a friend, you could do the dishes or offer to clean up. If you attend a work meeting, check and see if there is some way that you can assist management. Try to do more than just \\\"show up\\\" somewhere- leave an impression on people that you actually enjoyed your time and care about the others that were present.\\n1-17. Use manners.\\nGrab a manners guide if you need to, and brush up on what behavior is appropriate in a particular social setting.\\n1-18. Spend time with people.\\nPutting out the effort to actually spend time with people is subtly beautiful because it shows how much you care, and that you are willing to prioritize people.\\n1-19. Do little things to improve your environment- clean up trash in public places, put flowers on your table, or add some other finishing touch to the places you live and work.\\nThese \\\"little touches\\\" are subtly beautiful because they show that beauty is important to you, and that you want your environment to reflect how you feel inside.\\n1-20. Mature your special gifts and talents.\\nEveryone has unique gifts: find out what yours are and develop them! It is subtly beautiful when people aspire to reach their potential.\\n1-21. Be confident.\\nDon't worry about other people's judgements of you. You are free to be exactly who you are!\\n1-22. Have goals and hopes.\\nHaving something that you are passionate about to work toward can make you more radiant and give you more direction.\\n1-23. Learn to be positive.\\nMaintain a \\\"glass half-full\\\", rather than a \\\"glass half-empty\\\" mentality. Identify what is good in your life, and be thankful for those blessings. Don't complain about everything that is wrong with your life situation, but do look for ways to improve your life and the lives of those around you.\\n1-24. When you have a meeting or appointment, be on time.\\nHow you treat time shows other people your priorities. Those who value using time wisely can be subtly beautiful.\\n1-25. Stay informed about the news, current events, and other matters of importance.\\nBeautiful people care about what's going on around them, not just themselves.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Subtle beauty is almost indefinable and makes a woman seem special; achieving it requires modesty and self-awareness. A person may desire to exhibit subtle beauty rather than being exhibitionist and objectifying the body. Those with subtle beauty don't scream for attention, but instead are happy with who they are without having to manipulate others through using their physical beauty to feel that way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think beautiful thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"The \\\"inner glow\\\" that people find beautiful in others will only be genuine and durable if you have a truly beautiful personality. Have a heart that is in the right place, rather than play-acting. If your self-esteem has taken a battering lately, build it back up. Spread kindness, love and consideration for others in place of wallowing in self-pity and comparison.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be an attentive listener.\", \"描述\": \"Learn to really hear what others have to say and be genuinely interested in their lives, stories, and hopes. People always respond well to people who care and there is great subtle beauty to be found in being heard.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Groom well.\", \"描述\": \"Beauty regimes should not take up all of the time but should be straightforward, easy and effective. Invest in quality over quantity - a good hairbrush, a good hair smoothing implement, good makeup, good hair products, etc. When you find something that works, stick with it and keep using it rather than trying too far afield.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear simple but elegant and timeless outfits.\", \"描述\": \"Rely on a base color, such as black, white, brown, pink, etc., and a single pattern. Quality is always better than quantity. Spend money on clothing items that will last and still look lovely, rather than shelling out cash for cheap styles that will wear out quickly or fade out of fashion fast.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't flirt.\", \"描述\": \"Learn ways to show appreciation of others that don't include stooping to manipulative or unloving behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't be saucy.\", \"描述\": \"Be kind in every circumstance, even if it means holding your tongue.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Dress and behave according to the appropriate social guidelines.\", \"描述\": \"If you are at work, be professional. If you are visiting friends, be a good guest. Consider your circumstances in the way that you react to your environment.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Become interdependent.\", \"描述\": \"Build up good relationships with other people and be willing to depend on others when need be. Don't be afraid to ask for help- people will appreciate the fact that you can be genuine. Make sure, though, not to infringe on the good-will of your friends unnecessarily.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Do interesting things.\", \"描述\": \"People find it beautiful when someone is satisfied in life and has a list of interesting hobbies that he or she participates in actively.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Value education and intelligent conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody likes beauty without brains.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Be an observer of people.\", \"描述\": \"Learn what makes your friends act the way they do, so that you can be a better friend toward them. You can also learn a lot about people this way, and a knowledge of the way that people function and how to treat others well is essential to being beautiful because it will make you a more aware and considerate person.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Extend compassion and empathy towards those who need it.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Readily forgive those who do you harm, and extend grace toward your enemies.\", \"描述\": \"Don't let others take advantage toward you, but be as considerate as possible of people, even if they would injure you. You can't fight fire with fire.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Smile often.\", \"描述\": \"Smiling may be a small act, but it can have lasting results on other people, because happiness can be contagious!\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Learn to use good body language.\", \"描述\": \"Your body language says a lot about you. Learning to be graceful can help you to appear subtly beautiful.\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"When a guest in public places, do practical things to help others out.\", \"描述\": \"When you visit a friend, you could do the dishes or offer to clean up. If you attend a work meeting, check and see if there is some way that you can assist management. Try to do more than just \\\"show up\\\" somewhere- leave an impression on people that you actually enjoyed your time and care about the others that were present.\"}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Use manners.\", \"描述\": \"Grab a manners guide if you need to, and brush up on what behavior is appropriate in a particular social setting.\"}, {\"编号\": 18, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people.\", \"描述\": \"Putting out the effort to actually spend time with people is subtly beautiful because it shows how much you care, and that you are willing to prioritize people.\"}, {\"编号\": 19, \"标题\": \"Do little things to improve your environment- clean up trash in public places, put flowers on your table, or add some other finishing touch to the places you live and work.\", \"描述\": \"These \\\"little touches\\\" are subtly beautiful because they show that beauty is important to you, and that you want your environment to reflect how you feel inside.\"}, {\"编号\": 20, \"标题\": \"Mature your special gifts and talents.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has unique gifts: find out what yours are and develop them! It is subtly beautiful when people aspire to reach their potential.\"}, {\"编号\": 21, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Don't worry about other people's judgements of you. You are free to be exactly who you are!\"}, {\"编号\": 22, \"标题\": \"Have goals and hopes.\", \"描述\": \"Having something that you are passionate about to work toward can make you more radiant and give you more direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 23, \"标题\": \"Learn to be positive.\", \"描述\": \"Maintain a \\\"glass half-full\\\", rather than a \\\"glass half-empty\\\" mentality. Identify what is good in your life, and be thankful for those blessings. Don't complain about everything that is wrong with your life situation, but do look for ways to improve your life and the lives of those around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 24, \"标题\": \"When you have a meeting or appointment, be on time.\", \"描述\": \"How you treat time shows other people your priorities. Those who value using time wisely can be subtly beautiful.\"}, {\"编号\": 25, \"标题\": \"Stay informed about the news, current events, and other matters of importance.\", \"描述\": \"Beautiful people care about what's going on around them, not just themselves.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,198 | How to Be Successful | 1. Creating Goals
1-1. Define what success means to you.
You cannot have success if you do not know what it means for you. Everyone views success differently. True success comes from achieving what will make you happiest in life. Once you have identified this, you can set goals that are meaningful and important to you.
Try writing down your definition of success. Is it earning a certain income, living in a certain area, or supporting a happy family? Would success allow you to travel, save for retirement, or maintain a healthy social life?
If you’re struggling, consider what makes you happiest in life. Is it spending time with your family, traveling, pursuing a hobby, or something else? What would you do if money was not a concern? Next, identify what you need in life to achieve that happiness.
1-2. Identify your ultimate purpose or goal.
Identify the things you love to do, the things that give you satisfaction. Once you identify what you love to do, use this information to find the purpose of your life or the objective of your life.
Finding what you love to do will give you motivation along the way. It's much, much easier to persistently chip away at your goal if your goal is something you enjoy doing.
Consider where you want to be in 5, 10, and 20 years. What can you do that will help you achieve that dream?
If you’re confused about what your goal or purpose might be, try meeting with a career coach or visiting a good psychologist.
Your goals should be quantifiable. For example, instead of setting a goal to be better at your job, create benchmarks such as "My goal is to increase my productivity by 30% and only be late for work five times per year, at the most."
1-3. Break your goal into small steps.
Focus on streamlining your idea and establish what you need to do to reach that goal. If you have the vision to attack your goal piece by piece, it's easier and less daunting to execute. In addition, if you're able to successfully meet and exceed your smaller goals, you're less likely to get discouraged as you pursue your long-term goals.
For example, does the goal of starting a technology company seem impossibly unattainable? Break it down into smaller goals. Smaller goals could include writing a business plan, finding investors, getting a loan, or coming up with product ideas.
Make sure that your goals are SMART. This means that they are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. Ask yourself if each goal fits this criteria.
Remember, even a small shift now can make a big difference in the long-run, so don't feel like you necessarily have to make big sweeping changes in your life in order to reach your goals.
1-4. Set a timeline for when you want to achieve your objective.
Give yourself a timeline that is difficult but doable. Make sure you have enough time to accomplish each of your smaller steps. Appearing on a nationally televised comedy show might not be feasible within a year, but booking a comedy gig in front of at least 20 paying customers probably is.
Make sure to set guidelines for smaller goals as well. For example, make a goal to join an improv team by the end of the month or to perform at an open mic within 3 months.
Try not to have an all-or-nothing mindset. Use your timeline to help keep yourself on track, but be willing to adjust it if you need to work a little harder to reach your goals.
1-5. Identify what resources you need to achieve your objectives.
These might be tools, lessons, budgets, or other resources that will help you reach your goals. You might need certain skills, such as public speaking, or other people, such as employees or consultants
For example, to start your own business, you might need a bank loan. To get a bank loan, you need a good credit score and a bank.
If you want to become a musician, you may need to invest in your own instrument, music, and website.
2. Managing Time and Productivity
2-1. Set a schedule for yourself.
Create a to-do list for each day. For long-term projects, give yourself a daily goal or task to help you complete it. As you finish each task, check them off to help you stay motivated. A schedule can give you structure, even on days when you feel unmotivated.
Use a calendar app on your phone or write down your commitments in a planner. Make sure that all of your deadlines are clearly written out.
If you forget things easily, set reminders or alarms on your phone to remind you.
Be realistic about how long tasks take. Plan more time for each task than you think you'll need.
Personalize your schedule based on what works for you. Think about what times of day you work best, and set boundaries to help yourself stay focused when you're working on a task.
2-2. Minimize distractions as much as possible.
It's almost impossible to be 100% focused on your task 100% of the time, but distractions can keep you from producing work efficiently. Occasional breaks are okay, but when your goals start taking a backseat to petty distractions, it's time to banish them.
Work in a quiet place if possible. If your workspace is noisy, wear noise canceling headphones or earplugs to block it out.
Ask family and friends not to bother you while you are working on something. Let them know that you need this time to yourself. If necessary, turn your phone off or put it in a drawer while you’re working.
Taking 5-minute breaks every hour can help you refocus. Take a short walk, get a snack, or do some stretches.
Avoid multitasking. Working on more than 1 thing at a time can reduce your productivity. Give your full focus to 1 task.
2-3. Outsource tasks to other people whenever possible.
Outsourcing is all about time-management. You may think of yourself as a superman or superwoman, but there are limits to your powers. If you try to take on too many things, chances are that you're going to feel burnt out and overwhelmed. Outsourcing certain less essential tasks gives you more time to focus on the things that are absolutely essential to your craft.
If you’re writing a novel, ask a friend or a copy editor to read through it for you. Instead of trying to edit yourself, they can proofread it and offer suggestions on the plot.
If you need a website for your business, hire a web designer to do it for you. If you do this, you won’t have to learn web design yourself, and the website will still look great.
2-4. Trust other people to do their job.
It's hard to be successful if you don't trust the people around you. Being successful is partly about assembling an able team around you. If you can't trust others enough to let them do their job, you probably won't succeed at your own work.
Consider many different factors when deciding who to trust for a job. Look at their qualifications, past experience, references from other people, or how reliable they have been in the past.
Trust in people because trust can be an incredibly motivating factor. If you trust in someone, they'll want to do well because they want to reward your trust in them. This is a powerful motivator.
Trust in people because you need to. Instead of trying to do everything yourself, delegate tasks to other people to get them done.
Don’t forget to trust yourself too!
2-5. Find a mentor to help guide you.
A mentor is someone, usually with a bit more experience than you, who knows the trade, offers advice, and helps you in your pursuit. You can ask a boss, professor, older family member, or family friend to be your mentor. Mentors get satisfaction out of knowing that their guidance has literally bred success. A mentor will help you:
Network. Networking is making connections with people who have connections. Networking is mutually beneficial. You offer expertise, opinion, or opportunity to someone in exchange for something back.
Troubleshoot. Troubleshooting is learning about how to make ideas or applications work in difficult situations. Your mentor can help you figure out what you need to change in order to make your idea(s) even better.
Strategize. A mentor will probably have more vision than you because they have been in the game longer, with more successes and failures. You can draw on their legacy of experience to strategize about the future.
2-6. Continue to learn as much as you can.
Never turn your "learning switch" off. You never know when your eureka moment will come! Keep listening to others, studying new skills, and learning new things. New information can help you make connections between ideas and use those ideas to make your life better.
Read books, watch documentaries, or take online classes to expand your knowledge. Pursue subjects that are interesting to you or that will teach you a necessary skill.
Learn as much as you can about your industry, company, hobby, or goal in order to succeed. What do successful people in this field do to help them reach their goals?
2-7. Take calculated risks.
Successful people think big and act big. Don't wait for opportunities to fall in your lap. Step out of your comfort zone, and sniff them out. Study your risks, make sure the odds are in your favor, and take a leap.
Whether you're a long-distance runner or rolling out back-end solutions to technology giants, partnering with the competition may help you pool your resources, motivate you to work harder, and build new relationships.
Lead, don't follow. Summon up the courage to do something different.
You won't hit a home run with every idea that you come up with, but you can still succeed in projects. Look for projects that will offer you some success, even if they won't make you famous or rich.
2-8. Look for problems to solve.
Look around and try to think of ways you can contribute. What are people struggling with or complaining about? How can you make life easier for them in an effective way? Can you create a product or provide a service that fills a critical gap? Common problems include:
Social problems. Can you think of a similar social problem that needs reinventing? For example, social media reinvented the way people interact with one another.
Technology problems. Can you help people use technology to accomplish what they need to do? For example, technology companies design smaller and more powerful computer processors to improve the user experience.
Strategic problems. Can you help someone else solve a strategic problem? For example, consultants help other companies and individuals become more productive, profitable, and prudent.
Interpersonal problems. Can you help people better get along with one another? For example, psychologists and marriage counselors help other people navigate the complex web of personal relationships.
2-9. Use technology as a tool, not as a distraction.
Technology can be incredibly powerful. but it can also sap your energy and productivity. Use technology for productive purposes, but don't let it lead you astray.
Use an online planner or app to help you schedule daily goals, meetings, and tasks. Check off tasks as you finish them to help you stay motivated.
Music often distracts people as they work. If you do need some music, try listening to soft jazz or classical music, as these are less distracting.
Talk to your coworkers and boss in person to avoid being inundated with emails. Organize your inbox so that junk mail and unimportant messages are sent to a different file.
3. Setting the Right Attitude
3-1. Visualize your success.
The more vividly and accurately you imagine your success, the easier it will be for you to follow through. When you face failure or setbacks, remind yourself that you can achieve your dreams after all.
Dedicate a few minutes every day to imagining your success. Imagine yourself in a movie in which you are successful. What are you doing in the movie? What is your success like? Savor the feeling of your success, and use it as motivation to stoke your fire.
Make a vision board of what success means to you. Use images and motivational quotes found in magazines or websites to help you create the board. Put it somewhere you will see it often, such as your office or kitchen.
Cultivate a healthy motivation when imagining your success. Successful people all believe in themselves and their missions.
3-2. Express curiosity about everything you face.
Many successful people have an insatiable curiosity. If they don't understand how something works or don't know the answer to a question, they find out. Often, this takes them on a quest of self-discovery, one in which the journey is just as important as the destination.
Ask questions about everything you encounter. For example, ask the vet about what makes your dog different from a human or chat with your neighbor about their garden.
If you encounter something new, try looking it up or researching more about it. What can you learn from it?
Talk to other people about their experiences and successes. You might learn something new about someone you have known for a long time.
Curiosity helps you find wonder and joy in everything. It can help you enjoy the journey of discovery rather than just working towards an end goal.
3-3. Surround yourself with other people who are successful.
When you're surrounded with people who are highly-driven, it's encouraging. You can bounce ideas off people, and they can even connect you with other people. They can also motivate you and support you through the process.
Study famous people through their books, lectures, and biographies. Model some of your approaches around theirs, if possible. Knowledge is as free as it is powerful.
Look around in your own life. Do you know someone who has the success that you envision for yourself? What are they doing? How do they approach life? Ask them for advice.
Avoid people who discourage you or prevent you from reaching your goals. They will only hold you back on your way to success.
3-4. Adjust your expectations for a realistic outcome.
It's a truism in business that you need to have high self-confidence to get things done, but make sure that your expectations are manageable and are realistic. If your expectations are too high, it will be harder to achieve your goals or overcome failure.
Allow there to be some flexibility in your expectations. For example, instead of expecting guaranteed success at your new job, you might think, “Well, it might take me a while to get established. If it doesn't work out, I can find a different job."
Remember that there will always be variables you can’t control. You can control, however, how you react to situations. For example, if an unexpected expense comes up, tell yourself that it is only a temporary setback.
Pay attention to feedback. Even if it is hard to handle sometimes, constructive criticism can help you identify areas where you can improve.
Learn to expect failure. It is impossible to achieve success without stumbling at some point along the way.
4. Overcoming Failures
4-1. Try again when you face a setback.
You're going to fail — that much is a given. Never hesitate to be a failure, since life gives many chances. What will define you is how you pick yourself up after you've fallen. Don't give up. If your first attempt didn't work, don't quit..
Don't make excuses. Don't rationalize your failure by placing the blame on someone or something else. Accept when something is your fault. This will help you identify what you need to change to get better.
Learn from your failures. Each failure is an opportunity to learn. If you make a mistake and refuse to learn, odds are you'll make that same mistake sometime down the line. If you make a mistake and learn from it, you won't waste your time making the same mistake again.
4-2. Avoid dwelling on failures or mistakes.
Accept that life is unfair. It's a fact. Instead of dwelling on this injustice, consider how you can go out into the world and make it better. Think how to use the situation for your benefit.
For example, if you're working in a toxic work environment, take the initiative to reach out and support your coworkers. Remind them of their successes and motivate them where needed.
Sometimes unexpected events happen that can get in the way of your goals. For example, an injury may prevent you from running a marathon. Create new goals or look for alternate ways of achieving your dreams. For example, you might become involved in a sport that is easier on your joints, such as swimming, or make a goal to recuperate through physical therapy.
4-3. Strive for happiness in other parts of your life.
Remember that success does not guarantee happiness. Success is equated with achieving a goal, but don't assume it will always bring happiness. Instead of focusing only on your goal, make sure that you achieve a balance in your life. Aim for happiness in other parts of your life
Don't burn bridges along the way. A lot of life is about personal relationships, so don't forsake them. If you've invented a cheap, efficient way to make nuclear fission, but you don't have a supportive social network, will it be worth it?
Value experiences over objects. Experiences, not money or possessions, will make you happier in the long run. Focus on making great memories with great people along the way, and you should be happy.
4-4. Focus on staying positive even when you fail.
You will be surprised how effective you can be when your thoughts are guiding your actions, not the other way around. If you fail, don't be fearful about starting over; be happy that you've been given a chance to be even more successful.
Tips
Not everyone will be supportive of your goals. Some people are cynical or insecure. Be prepared for them, and look past them until you find the people who are happy for you and who support you in all that you do.
Success does not come through willpower alone. It takes consistency and determination. Doing something once won't make a huge difference; it's when you do that one thing many times over that you can achieve success.
Always follow your own definition of success. Try not to get wrapped up in what other people want for your life.
Warnings
Do not worry too much about other people's views. Just adhere to what you want to achieve.
Be polite and respectful. Remember, you don't have to trample over other people to become successful.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Creating Goals\\n1-1. Define what success means to you.\\nYou cannot have success if you do not know what it means for you. Everyone views success differently. True success comes from achieving what will make you happiest in life. Once you have identified this, you can set goals that are meaningful and important to you.\\nTry writing down your definition of success. Is it earning a certain income, living in a certain area, or supporting a happy family? Would success allow you to travel, save for retirement, or maintain a healthy social life?\\nIf you’re struggling, consider what makes you happiest in life. Is it spending time with your family, traveling, pursuing a hobby, or something else? What would you do if money was not a concern? Next, identify what you need in life to achieve that happiness.\\n1-2. Identify your ultimate purpose or goal.\\nIdentify the things you love to do, the things that give you satisfaction. Once you identify what you love to do, use this information to find the purpose of your life or the objective of your life.\\nFinding what you love to do will give you motivation along the way. It's much, much easier to persistently chip away at your goal if your goal is something you enjoy doing.\\nConsider where you want to be in 5, 10, and 20 years. What can you do that will help you achieve that dream?\\nIf you’re confused about what your goal or purpose might be, try meeting with a career coach or visiting a good psychologist.\\nYour goals should be quantifiable. For example, instead of setting a goal to be better at your job, create benchmarks such as \\\"My goal is to increase my productivity by 30% and only be late for work five times per year, at the most.\\\"\\n1-3. Break your goal into small steps.\\nFocus on streamlining your idea and establish what you need to do to reach that goal. If you have the vision to attack your goal piece by piece, it's easier and less daunting to execute. In addition, if you're able to successfully meet and exceed your smaller goals, you're less likely to get discouraged as you pursue your long-term goals.\\nFor example, does the goal of starting a technology company seem impossibly unattainable? Break it down into smaller goals. Smaller goals could include writing a business plan, finding investors, getting a loan, or coming up with product ideas.\\nMake sure that your goals are SMART. This means that they are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. Ask yourself if each goal fits this criteria.\\nRemember, even a small shift now can make a big difference in the long-run, so don't feel like you necessarily have to make big sweeping changes in your life in order to reach your goals.\\n1-4. Set a timeline for when you want to achieve your objective.\\nGive yourself a timeline that is difficult but doable. Make sure you have enough time to accomplish each of your smaller steps. Appearing on a nationally televised comedy show might not be feasible within a year, but booking a comedy gig in front of at least 20 paying customers probably is.\\nMake sure to set guidelines for smaller goals as well. For example, make a goal to join an improv team by the end of the month or to perform at an open mic within 3 months.\\nTry not to have an all-or-nothing mindset. Use your timeline to help keep yourself on track, but be willing to adjust it if you need to work a little harder to reach your goals.\\n1-5. Identify what resources you need to achieve your objectives.\\nThese might be tools, lessons, budgets, or other resources that will help you reach your goals. You might need certain skills, such as public speaking, or other people, such as employees or consultants\\nFor example, to start your own business, you might need a bank loan. To get a bank loan, you need a good credit score and a bank.\\nIf you want to become a musician, you may need to invest in your own instrument, music, and website.\\n2. Managing Time and Productivity\\n2-1. Set a schedule for yourself.\\nCreate a to-do list for each day. For long-term projects, give yourself a daily goal or task to help you complete it. As you finish each task, check them off to help you stay motivated. A schedule can give you structure, even on days when you feel unmotivated.\\nUse a calendar app on your phone or write down your commitments in a planner. Make sure that all of your deadlines are clearly written out.\\nIf you forget things easily, set reminders or alarms on your phone to remind you.\\nBe realistic about how long tasks take. Plan more time for each task than you think you'll need.\\nPersonalize your schedule based on what works for you. Think about what times of day you work best, and set boundaries to help yourself stay focused when you're working on a task.\\n2-2. Minimize distractions as much as possible.\\nIt's almost impossible to be 100% focused on your task 100% of the time, but distractions can keep you from producing work efficiently. Occasional breaks are okay, but when your goals start taking a backseat to petty distractions, it's time to banish them.\\nWork in a quiet place if possible. If your workspace is noisy, wear noise canceling headphones or earplugs to block it out.\\nAsk family and friends not to bother you while you are working on something. Let them know that you need this time to yourself. If necessary, turn your phone off or put it in a drawer while you’re working.\\nTaking 5-minute breaks every hour can help you refocus. Take a short walk, get a snack, or do some stretches.\\nAvoid multitasking. Working on more than 1 thing at a time can reduce your productivity. Give your full focus to 1 task.\\n2-3. Outsource tasks to other people whenever possible.\\nOutsourcing is all about time-management. You may think of yourself as a superman or superwoman, but there are limits to your powers. If you try to take on too many things, chances are that you're going to feel burnt out and overwhelmed. Outsourcing certain less essential tasks gives you more time to focus on the things that are absolutely essential to your craft.\\nIf you’re writing a novel, ask a friend or a copy editor to read through it for you. Instead of trying to edit yourself, they can proofread it and offer suggestions on the plot.\\nIf you need a website for your business, hire a web designer to do it for you. If you do this, you won’t have to learn web design yourself, and the website will still look great.\\n2-4. Trust other people to do their job.\\nIt's hard to be successful if you don't trust the people around you. Being successful is partly about assembling an able team around you. If you can't trust others enough to let them do their job, you probably won't succeed at your own work.\\nConsider many different factors when deciding who to trust for a job. Look at their qualifications, past experience, references from other people, or how reliable they have been in the past.\\nTrust in people because trust can be an incredibly motivating factor. If you trust in someone, they'll want to do well because they want to reward your trust in them. This is a powerful motivator.\\nTrust in people because you need to. Instead of trying to do everything yourself, delegate tasks to other people to get them done.\\nDon’t forget to trust yourself too!\\n2-5. Find a mentor to help guide you.\\nA mentor is someone, usually with a bit more experience than you, who knows the trade, offers advice, and helps you in your pursuit. You can ask a boss, professor, older family member, or family friend to be your mentor. Mentors get satisfaction out of knowing that their guidance has literally bred success. A mentor will help you:\\n\\nNetwork. Networking is making connections with people who have connections. Networking is mutually beneficial. You offer expertise, opinion, or opportunity to someone in exchange for something back.\\n\\nTroubleshoot. Troubleshooting is learning about how to make ideas or applications work in difficult situations. Your mentor can help you figure out what you need to change in order to make your idea(s) even better.\\nStrategize. A mentor will probably have more vision than you because they have been in the game longer, with more successes and failures. You can draw on their legacy of experience to strategize about the future.\\n2-6. Continue to learn as much as you can.\\nNever turn your \\\"learning switch\\\" off. You never know when your eureka moment will come! Keep listening to others, studying new skills, and learning new things. New information can help you make connections between ideas and use those ideas to make your life better.\\nRead books, watch documentaries, or take online classes to expand your knowledge. Pursue subjects that are interesting to you or that will teach you a necessary skill.\\nLearn as much as you can about your industry, company, hobby, or goal in order to succeed. What do successful people in this field do to help them reach their goals?\\n2-7. Take calculated risks.\\nSuccessful people think big and act big. Don't wait for opportunities to fall in your lap. Step out of your comfort zone, and sniff them out. Study your risks, make sure the odds are in your favor, and take a leap.\\nWhether you're a long-distance runner or rolling out back-end solutions to technology giants, partnering with the competition may help you pool your resources, motivate you to work harder, and build new relationships.\\nLead, don't follow. Summon up the courage to do something different.\\nYou won't hit a home run with every idea that you come up with, but you can still succeed in projects. Look for projects that will offer you some success, even if they won't make you famous or rich.\\n2-8. Look for problems to solve.\\nLook around and try to think of ways you can contribute. What are people struggling with or complaining about? How can you make life easier for them in an effective way? Can you create a product or provide a service that fills a critical gap? Common problems include:\\n\\nSocial problems. Can you think of a similar social problem that needs reinventing? For example, social media reinvented the way people interact with one another.\\nTechnology problems. Can you help people use technology to accomplish what they need to do? For example, technology companies design smaller and more powerful computer processors to improve the user experience.\\nStrategic problems. Can you help someone else solve a strategic problem? For example, consultants help other companies and individuals become more productive, profitable, and prudent.\\nInterpersonal problems. Can you help people better get along with one another? For example, psychologists and marriage counselors help other people navigate the complex web of personal relationships.\\n2-9. Use technology as a tool, not as a distraction.\\nTechnology can be incredibly powerful. but it can also sap your energy and productivity. Use technology for productive purposes, but don't let it lead you astray.\\nUse an online planner or app to help you schedule daily goals, meetings, and tasks. Check off tasks as you finish them to help you stay motivated.\\nMusic often distracts people as they work. If you do need some music, try listening to soft jazz or classical music, as these are less distracting.\\nTalk to your coworkers and boss in person to avoid being inundated with emails. Organize your inbox so that junk mail and unimportant messages are sent to a different file.\\n3. Setting the Right Attitude\\n3-1. Visualize your success.\\nThe more vividly and accurately you imagine your success, the easier it will be for you to follow through. When you face failure or setbacks, remind yourself that you can achieve your dreams after all.\\nDedicate a few minutes every day to imagining your success. Imagine yourself in a movie in which you are successful. What are you doing in the movie? What is your success like? Savor the feeling of your success, and use it as motivation to stoke your fire.\\nMake a vision board of what success means to you. Use images and motivational quotes found in magazines or websites to help you create the board. Put it somewhere you will see it often, such as your office or kitchen.\\nCultivate a healthy motivation when imagining your success. Successful people all believe in themselves and their missions.\\n3-2. Express curiosity about everything you face.\\nMany successful people have an insatiable curiosity. If they don't understand how something works or don't know the answer to a question, they find out. Often, this takes them on a quest of self-discovery, one in which the journey is just as important as the destination.\\nAsk questions about everything you encounter. For example, ask the vet about what makes your dog different from a human or chat with your neighbor about their garden.\\nIf you encounter something new, try looking it up or researching more about it. What can you learn from it?\\nTalk to other people about their experiences and successes. You might learn something new about someone you have known for a long time.\\nCuriosity helps you find wonder and joy in everything. It can help you enjoy the journey of discovery rather than just working towards an end goal.\\n3-3. Surround yourself with other people who are successful.\\nWhen you're surrounded with people who are highly-driven, it's encouraging. You can bounce ideas off people, and they can even connect you with other people. They can also motivate you and support you through the process.\\nStudy famous people through their books, lectures, and biographies. Model some of your approaches around theirs, if possible. Knowledge is as free as it is powerful.\\nLook around in your own life. Do you know someone who has the success that you envision for yourself? What are they doing? How do they approach life? Ask them for advice.\\nAvoid people who discourage you or prevent you from reaching your goals. They will only hold you back on your way to success.\\n3-4. Adjust your expectations for a realistic outcome.\\nIt's a truism in business that you need to have high self-confidence to get things done, but make sure that your expectations are manageable and are realistic. If your expectations are too high, it will be harder to achieve your goals or overcome failure.\\nAllow there to be some flexibility in your expectations. For example, instead of expecting guaranteed success at your new job, you might think, “Well, it might take me a while to get established. If it doesn't work out, I can find a different job.\\\"\\nRemember that there will always be variables you can’t control. You can control, however, how you react to situations. For example, if an unexpected expense comes up, tell yourself that it is only a temporary setback.\\nPay attention to feedback. Even if it is hard to handle sometimes, constructive criticism can help you identify areas where you can improve.\\nLearn to expect failure. It is impossible to achieve success without stumbling at some point along the way.\\n4. Overcoming Failures\\n4-1. Try again when you face a setback.\\nYou're going to fail — that much is a given. Never hesitate to be a failure, since life gives many chances. What will define you is how you pick yourself up after you've fallen. Don't give up. If your first attempt didn't work, don't quit..\\nDon't make excuses. Don't rationalize your failure by placing the blame on someone or something else. Accept when something is your fault. This will help you identify what you need to change to get better.\\nLearn from your failures. Each failure is an opportunity to learn. If you make a mistake and refuse to learn, odds are you'll make that same mistake sometime down the line. If you make a mistake and learn from it, you won't waste your time making the same mistake again.\\n4-2. Avoid dwelling on failures or mistakes.\\nAccept that life is unfair. It's a fact. Instead of dwelling on this injustice, consider how you can go out into the world and make it better. Think how to use the situation for your benefit.\\nFor example, if you're working in a toxic work environment, take the initiative to reach out and support your coworkers. Remind them of their successes and motivate them where needed.\\nSometimes unexpected events happen that can get in the way of your goals. For example, an injury may prevent you from running a marathon. Create new goals or look for alternate ways of achieving your dreams. For example, you might become involved in a sport that is easier on your joints, such as swimming, or make a goal to recuperate through physical therapy.\\n4-3. Strive for happiness in other parts of your life.\\nRemember that success does not guarantee happiness. Success is equated with achieving a goal, but don't assume it will always bring happiness. Instead of focusing only on your goal, make sure that you achieve a balance in your life. Aim for happiness in other parts of your life\\nDon't burn bridges along the way. A lot of life is about personal relationships, so don't forsake them. If you've invented a cheap, efficient way to make nuclear fission, but you don't have a supportive social network, will it be worth it?\\nValue experiences over objects. Experiences, not money or possessions, will make you happier in the long run. Focus on making great memories with great people along the way, and you should be happy.\\n4-4. Focus on staying positive even when you fail.\\nYou will be surprised how effective you can be when your thoughts are guiding your actions, not the other way around. If you fail, don't be fearful about starting over; be happy that you've been given a chance to be even more successful.\\nTips\\nNot everyone will be supportive of your goals. Some people are cynical or insecure. Be prepared for them, and look past them until you find the people who are happy for you and who support you in all that you do.\\nSuccess does not come through willpower alone. It takes consistency and determination. Doing something once won't make a huge difference; it's when you do that one thing many times over that you can achieve success.\\nAlways follow your own definition of success. Try not to get wrapped up in what other people want for your life.\\nWarnings\\nDo not worry too much about other people's views. Just adhere to what you want to achieve.\\nBe polite and respectful. Remember, you don't have to trample over other people to become successful.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Success can mean different things to everyone. If you have an ambition, dream, or purpose that you want to achieve, all you need is the right mindset and a strong set of goals. Stay focused and motivated throughout the process. When you encounter failure, remember to pick yourself back up and keep going. With time and effort, you may find that you have achieved your own definition of success.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Creating Goals\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Define what success means to you.\", \"描述\": \"You cannot have success if you do not know what it means for you. Everyone views success differently. True success comes from achieving what will make you happiest in life. Once you have identified this, you can set goals that are meaningful and important to you.\\nTry writing down your definition of success. Is it earning a certain income, living in a certain area, or supporting a happy family? Would success allow you to travel, save for retirement, or maintain a healthy social life?\\nIf you’re struggling, consider what makes you happiest in life. Is it spending time with your family, traveling, pursuing a hobby, or something else? What would you do if money was not a concern? Next, identify what you need in life to achieve that happiness.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Identify your ultimate purpose or goal.\", \"描述\": \"Identify the things you love to do, the things that give you satisfaction. Once you identify what you love to do, use this information to find the purpose of your life or the objective of your life.\\nFinding what you love to do will give you motivation along the way. It's much, much easier to persistently chip away at your goal if your goal is something you enjoy doing.\\nConsider where you want to be in 5, 10, and 20 years. What can you do that will help you achieve that dream?\\nIf you’re confused about what your goal or purpose might be, try meeting with a career coach or visiting a good psychologist.\\nYour goals should be quantifiable. For example, instead of setting a goal to be better at your job, create benchmarks such as \\\"My goal is to increase my productivity by 30% and only be late for work five times per year, at the most.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Break your goal into small steps.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on streamlining your idea and establish what you need to do to reach that goal. If you have the vision to attack your goal piece by piece, it's easier and less daunting to execute. In addition, if you're able to successfully meet and exceed your smaller goals, you're less likely to get discouraged as you pursue your long-term goals.\\nFor example, does the goal of starting a technology company seem impossibly unattainable? Break it down into smaller goals. Smaller goals could include writing a business plan, finding investors, getting a loan, or coming up with product ideas.\\nMake sure that your goals are SMART. This means that they are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. Ask yourself if each goal fits this criteria.\\nRemember, even a small shift now can make a big difference in the long-run, so don't feel like you necessarily have to make big sweeping changes in your life in order to reach your goals.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set a timeline for when you want to achieve your objective.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself a timeline that is difficult but doable. Make sure you have enough time to accomplish each of your smaller steps. Appearing on a nationally televised comedy show might not be feasible within a year, but booking a comedy gig in front of at least 20 paying customers probably is.\\nMake sure to set guidelines for smaller goals as well. For example, make a goal to join an improv team by the end of the month or to perform at an open mic within 3 months.\\nTry not to have an all-or-nothing mindset. Use your timeline to help keep yourself on track, but be willing to adjust it if you need to work a little harder to reach your goals.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Identify what resources you need to achieve your objectives.\", \"描述\": \"These might be tools, lessons, budgets, or other resources that will help you reach your goals. You might need certain skills, such as public speaking, or other people, such as employees or consultants\\nFor example, to start your own business, you might need a bank loan. To get a bank loan, you need a good credit score and a bank.\\nIf you want to become a musician, you may need to invest in your own instrument, music, and website.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Managing Time and Productivity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set a schedule for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Create a to-do list for each day. For long-term projects, give yourself a daily goal or task to help you complete it. As you finish each task, check them off to help you stay motivated. A schedule can give you structure, even on days when you feel unmotivated.\\nUse a calendar app on your phone or write down your commitments in a planner. Make sure that all of your deadlines are clearly written out.\\nIf you forget things easily, set reminders or alarms on your phone to remind you.\\nBe realistic about how long tasks take. Plan more time for each task than you think you'll need.\\nPersonalize your schedule based on what works for you. Think about what times of day you work best, and set boundaries to help yourself stay focused when you're working on a task.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Minimize distractions as much as possible.\", \"描述\": \"It's almost impossible to be 100% focused on your task 100% of the time, but distractions can keep you from producing work efficiently. Occasional breaks are okay, but when your goals start taking a backseat to petty distractions, it's time to banish them.\\nWork in a quiet place if possible. If your workspace is noisy, wear noise canceling headphones or earplugs to block it out.\\nAsk family and friends not to bother you while you are working on something. Let them know that you need this time to yourself. If necessary, turn your phone off or put it in a drawer while you’re working.\\nTaking 5-minute breaks every hour can help you refocus. Take a short walk, get a snack, or do some stretches.\\nAvoid multitasking. Working on more than 1 thing at a time can reduce your productivity. Give your full focus to 1 task.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Outsource tasks to other people whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"Outsourcing is all about time-management. You may think of yourself as a superman or superwoman, but there are limits to your powers. If you try to take on too many things, chances are that you're going to feel burnt out and overwhelmed. Outsourcing certain less essential tasks gives you more time to focus on the things that are absolutely essential to your craft.\\nIf you’re writing a novel, ask a friend or a copy editor to read through it for you. Instead of trying to edit yourself, they can proofread it and offer suggestions on the plot.\\nIf you need a website for your business, hire a web designer to do it for you. If you do this, you won’t have to learn web design yourself, and the website will still look great.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Trust other people to do their job.\", \"描述\": \"It's hard to be successful if you don't trust the people around you. Being successful is partly about assembling an able team around you. If you can't trust others enough to let them do their job, you probably won't succeed at your own work.\\nConsider many different factors when deciding who to trust for a job. Look at their qualifications, past experience, references from other people, or how reliable they have been in the past.\\nTrust in people because trust can be an incredibly motivating factor. If you trust in someone, they'll want to do well because they want to reward your trust in them. This is a powerful motivator.\\nTrust in people because you need to. Instead of trying to do everything yourself, delegate tasks to other people to get them done.\\nDon’t forget to trust yourself too!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find a mentor to help guide you.\", \"描述\": \"A mentor is someone, usually with a bit more experience than you, who knows the trade, offers advice, and helps you in your pursuit. You can ask a boss, professor, older family member, or family friend to be your mentor. Mentors get satisfaction out of knowing that their guidance has literally bred success. A mentor will help you:\\n\\nNetwork. Networking is making connections with people who have connections. Networking is mutually beneficial. You offer expertise, opinion, or opportunity to someone in exchange for something back.\\n\\nTroubleshoot. Troubleshooting is learning about how to make ideas or applications work in difficult situations. Your mentor can help you figure out what you need to change in order to make your idea(s) even better.\\nStrategize. A mentor will probably have more vision than you because they have been in the game longer, with more successes and failures. You can draw on their legacy of experience to strategize about the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Continue to learn as much as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Never turn your \\\"learning switch\\\" off. You never know when your eureka moment will come! Keep listening to others, studying new skills, and learning new things. New information can help you make connections between ideas and use those ideas to make your life better.\\nRead books, watch documentaries, or take online classes to expand your knowledge. Pursue subjects that are interesting to you or that will teach you a necessary skill.\\nLearn as much as you can about your industry, company, hobby, or goal in order to succeed. What do successful people in this field do to help them reach their goals?\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take calculated risks.\", \"描述\": \"Successful people think big and act big. Don't wait for opportunities to fall in your lap. Step out of your comfort zone, and sniff them out. Study your risks, make sure the odds are in your favor, and take a leap.\\nWhether you're a long-distance runner or rolling out back-end solutions to technology giants, partnering with the competition may help you pool your resources, motivate you to work harder, and build new relationships.\\nLead, don't follow. Summon up the courage to do something different.\\nYou won't hit a home run with every idea that you come up with, but you can still succeed in projects. Look for projects that will offer you some success, even if they won't make you famous or rich.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Look for problems to solve.\", \"描述\": \"Look around and try to think of ways you can contribute. What are people struggling with or complaining about? How can you make life easier for them in an effective way? Can you create a product or provide a service that fills a critical gap? Common problems include:\\n\\nSocial problems. Can you think of a similar social problem that needs reinventing? For example, social media reinvented the way people interact with one another.\\nTechnology problems. Can you help people use technology to accomplish what they need to do? For example, technology companies design smaller and more powerful computer processors to improve the user experience.\\nStrategic problems. Can you help someone else solve a strategic problem? For example, consultants help other companies and individuals become more productive, profitable, and prudent.\\nInterpersonal problems. Can you help people better get along with one another? For example, psychologists and marriage counselors help other people navigate the complex web of personal relationships.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Use technology as a tool, not as a distraction.\", \"描述\": \"Technology can be incredibly powerful. but it can also sap your energy and productivity. Use technology for productive purposes, but don't let it lead you astray.\\nUse an online planner or app to help you schedule daily goals, meetings, and tasks. Check off tasks as you finish them to help you stay motivated.\\nMusic often distracts people as they work. If you do need some music, try listening to soft jazz or classical music, as these are less distracting.\\nTalk to your coworkers and boss in person to avoid being inundated with emails. Organize your inbox so that junk mail and unimportant messages are sent to a different file.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Setting the Right Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Visualize your success.\", \"描述\": \"The more vividly and accurately you imagine your success, the easier it will be for you to follow through. When you face failure or setbacks, remind yourself that you can achieve your dreams after all.\\nDedicate a few minutes every day to imagining your success. Imagine yourself in a movie in which you are successful. What are you doing in the movie? What is your success like? Savor the feeling of your success, and use it as motivation to stoke your fire.\\nMake a vision board of what success means to you. Use images and motivational quotes found in magazines or websites to help you create the board. Put it somewhere you will see it often, such as your office or kitchen.\\nCultivate a healthy motivation when imagining your success. Successful people all believe in themselves and their missions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Express curiosity about everything you face.\", \"描述\": \"Many successful people have an insatiable curiosity. If they don't understand how something works or don't know the answer to a question, they find out. Often, this takes them on a quest of self-discovery, one in which the journey is just as important as the destination.\\nAsk questions about everything you encounter. For example, ask the vet about what makes your dog different from a human or chat with your neighbor about their garden.\\nIf you encounter something new, try looking it up or researching more about it. What can you learn from it?\\nTalk to other people about their experiences and successes. You might learn something new about someone you have known for a long time.\\nCuriosity helps you find wonder and joy in everything. It can help you enjoy the journey of discovery rather than just working towards an end goal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with other people who are successful.\", \"描述\": \"When you're surrounded with people who are highly-driven, it's encouraging. You can bounce ideas off people, and they can even connect you with other people. They can also motivate you and support you through the process.\\nStudy famous people through their books, lectures, and biographies. Model some of your approaches around theirs, if possible. Knowledge is as free as it is powerful.\\nLook around in your own life. Do you know someone who has the success that you envision for yourself? What are they doing? How do they approach life? Ask them for advice.\\nAvoid people who discourage you or prevent you from reaching your goals. They will only hold you back on your way to success.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adjust your expectations for a realistic outcome.\", \"描述\": \"It's a truism in business that you need to have high self-confidence to get things done, but make sure that your expectations are manageable and are realistic. If your expectations are too high, it will be harder to achieve your goals or overcome failure.\\nAllow there to be some flexibility in your expectations. For example, instead of expecting guaranteed success at your new job, you might think, “Well, it might take me a while to get established. If it doesn't work out, I can find a different job.\\\"\\nRemember that there will always be variables you can’t control. You can control, however, how you react to situations. For example, if an unexpected expense comes up, tell yourself that it is only a temporary setback.\\nPay attention to feedback. Even if it is hard to handle sometimes, constructive criticism can help you identify areas where you can improve.\\nLearn to expect failure. It is impossible to achieve success without stumbling at some point along the way.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Failures\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try again when you face a setback.\", \"描述\": \"You're going to fail — that much is a given. Never hesitate to be a failure, since life gives many chances. What will define you is how you pick yourself up after you've fallen. Don't give up. If your first attempt didn't work, don't quit..\\nDon't make excuses. Don't rationalize your failure by placing the blame on someone or something else. Accept when something is your fault. This will help you identify what you need to change to get better.\\nLearn from your failures. Each failure is an opportunity to learn. If you make a mistake and refuse to learn, odds are you'll make that same mistake sometime down the line. If you make a mistake and learn from it, you won't waste your time making the same mistake again.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid dwelling on failures or mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Accept that life is unfair. It's a fact. Instead of dwelling on this injustice, consider how you can go out into the world and make it better. Think how to use the situation for your benefit.\\nFor example, if you're working in a toxic work environment, take the initiative to reach out and support your coworkers. Remind them of their successes and motivate them where needed.\\nSometimes unexpected events happen that can get in the way of your goals. For example, an injury may prevent you from running a marathon. Create new goals or look for alternate ways of achieving your dreams. For example, you might become involved in a sport that is easier on your joints, such as swimming, or make a goal to recuperate through physical therapy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Strive for happiness in other parts of your life.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that success does not guarantee happiness. Success is equated with achieving a goal, but don't assume it will always bring happiness. Instead of focusing only on your goal, make sure that you achieve a balance in your life. Aim for happiness in other parts of your life\\nDon't burn bridges along the way. A lot of life is about personal relationships, so don't forsake them. If you've invented a cheap, efficient way to make nuclear fission, but you don't have a supportive social network, will it be worth it?\\nValue experiences over objects. Experiences, not money or possessions, will make you happier in the long run. Focus on making great memories with great people along the way, and you should be happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on staying positive even when you fail.\", \"描述\": \"You will be surprised how effective you can be when your thoughts are guiding your actions, not the other way around. If you fail, don't be fearful about starting over; be happy that you've been given a chance to be even more successful.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Not everyone will be supportive of your goals. Some people are cynical or insecure. Be prepared for them, and look past them until you find the people who are happy for you and who support you in all that you do.\\n\", \"Success does not come through willpower alone. It takes consistency and determination. Doing something once won't make a huge difference; it's when you do that one thing many times over that you can achieve success.\\n\", \"Always follow your own definition of success. Try not to get wrapped up in what other people want for your life.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not worry too much about other people's views. Just adhere to what you want to achieve.\\n\", \"Be polite and respectful. Remember, you don't have to trample over other people to become successful.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,199 | How to Be Successful at a New Job | 1. Starting Off Strong
1-1. Understand your role thoroughly to gain a comprehensive vision.
The most important thing for you to do at first is to understand your role from multiple perspectives.
This will allow you to develop a plan for what you intend to do over the course of your tenure with the company.
Your plan should not be limited to your job description, but should include a vision of how your work relates to other people within the organization.
For example, certain reports that you will create at the end of the month may be used by a team in another department.
Therefore, it's imperative that your vision accounts for the impact of your work throughout the entire company.
1-2. Learn about the business to see the big picture.
Take time to learn about the business's history and understand what the business stands for.
You should know the details of the products and services that the company exists to deliver.
Learning about the business will give you a chance to understand how your role fits into the bigger picture.
1-3. Make one-on-one connections.
Don’t just show up at work and sit in your cubicle all day long without talking to anyone.
Though it’s important to do your work, you should also branch out and talk to your colleagues.
After you establish yourself as a reliable and hard-working employee, take some time to go out and interact with your coworkers in a non-professional setting.
Try inviting them out to lunch, or for drinks after work.
Getting to know them on a personal level will make sure they know who you are.
1-4. Build relationships with people in key positions.
Meeting and building relationships with the movers and shakers within the business is a great way to gain connections and business insight.
Get to know the the people who run the show and have decision-making authority, to gain insight regarding how the business is run and decisions are made.
1-5. Understand the expectations of your bosses.
Although building relationships with your superiors is a great way to make connections, you should also spend time learning about what they expect from you.
This can include the expectations listed in your job description, as well as expectations that are more informal, such as networking and offering your help.
If you can help your bosses achieve their goals, this will be a huge plus for you.
1-6. Stay proactive to maximize your time on the job.
You should start accomplishing your goals and making connections as soon as possible to get the greatest benefit from your position.
You have the first few days on the job to create a good impression and understand everything you need to be successful in the time ahead.
2. Developing a Road Map
2-1. Conduct an informational interview with your boss.
Conducting an informational interview with your boss can help you develop your road map based on your boss's vision for the company and your role.
This will also go a long way towards developing a healthy professional relationship with your boss.
Your plans and goals will be accomplished in the best possible manner if you line them up well with his or her needs.
You can gain an edge by learning how you can help him or her succeed and how you can collaborate.
Get information about what they want, what their approach is towards routine work and assignments, and how you can go the extra mile to exceed expectations.
2-2. Draft a 30/60/90 day plan to map out your success.
Your early conversations with your manager should focus on creating a plan for your first 90 days at work, and track those goals on a monthly basis.
You should clearly state what you intend to accomplish in those first three months.
Your plan should also reflect your interactions with your teammates.
For example, you should include a goal of maintaining focused listening to earn your coworkers' trust and demonstrate that you are a 100% committed team player.
This will ensure that you are accepted gladly and warmly.
2-3. Set realistic goals with your boss.
Your career-related goals should be set in collaboration with your boss, so that you can find common ground with him or her.
Get your goals reviewed by your boss so that you get their stamp of approval.
Your boss can also let you know which goals require slight modification in light of your job duties and the organization’s culture.
You should set a reasonable bar of accomplishment that is neither too high nor too low.
3. Ensuring Solid Communication
3-1. Expand your network and include your coworkers.
Make sure to avoid limiting your communication to only your bosses, rather include everyone who has a good eye on the health of the company.
Connect with people who can offer information and advice beyond the regular communication channels.
Sometimes a job title might not clearly demonstrate the influence your colleague may have.
It’s your duty to gain a deeper understand of each person by digging deeper into your relationships with each individual.
3-2. Extend your assistance to those who need it.
If someone can benefit from your assistance or advice, help them out to gain their respect and trust.
Go beyond your normal responsibilities and offer to help people with their projects, as long as your own work will not go unattended.
Go out of your way to tell people that you are willing to help, even if it demands some extra effort on your end.
3-3. Thank people for their help habitually.
Irrespective of anyone’s job title, whenever someone extends a helping hand, make sure to return a thank you.
You should show your colleagues the respect they deserve and indicate that you are grateful when they do something for you.
3-4. Inform your manager when you complete goals and projects.
Focus on achieving your goals and make sure you let your manager know when you complete something worthy of mention.
Regular communication with your manager will help you make course corrections.
At the end of your 90-day plan, show your manager what you have accomplished.
4. Avoiding Career-Harming Mistakes
4-1. Don’t act like a know-it-all.
Even if you are one of the most qualified people at the company, avoid coming off as cocky or arrogant.
You are expected to be humble and learn as much as you can.
You will get a lot of time later on to show your genius.
Listen carefully and talk less.
4-2. Avoid trying to do take on too much work.
Don't constantly stay late just to show that you are committed.
The expectations you set at the beginning can go a long way, so make sure you are putting in quality time, instead of just a large quantity of time.
4-3. Withdraw from gossip.
You will find friends in your new workplace, but always remember to present yourself as professionally as possible.
Don't speak negatively about your coworkers or boss.
If you have legitimate complaints, address them directly with those involved.
4-4. Stay positive about the company.
Even if you don't agree with things that are happening within the company, or the direction that it's going, don’t speak negatively about what is going on in the organization.
Avoid making too many comparisons with your old job, and work to create positive change where you can.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting Off Strong\\n1-1. Understand your role thoroughly to gain a comprehensive vision.\\nThe most important thing for you to do at first is to understand your role from multiple perspectives.\\nThis will allow you to develop a plan for what you intend to do over the course of your tenure with the company.\\nYour plan should not be limited to your job description, but should include a vision of how your work relates to other people within the organization.\\nFor example, certain reports that you will create at the end of the month may be used by a team in another department.\\nTherefore, it's imperative that your vision accounts for the impact of your work throughout the entire company.\\n1-2. Learn about the business to see the big picture.\\nTake time to learn about the business's history and understand what the business stands for.\\nYou should know the details of the products and services that the company exists to deliver.\\nLearning about the business will give you a chance to understand how your role fits into the bigger picture.\\n1-3. Make one-on-one connections.\\nDon’t just show up at work and sit in your cubicle all day long without talking to anyone.\\nThough it’s important to do your work, you should also branch out and talk to your colleagues.\\nAfter you establish yourself as a reliable and hard-working employee, take some time to go out and interact with your coworkers in a non-professional setting.\\nTry inviting them out to lunch, or for drinks after work.\\nGetting to know them on a personal level will make sure they know who you are.\\n1-4. Build relationships with people in key positions.\\nMeeting and building relationships with the movers and shakers within the business is a great way to gain connections and business insight.\\nGet to know the the people who run the show and have decision-making authority, to gain insight regarding how the business is run and decisions are made.\\n1-5. Understand the expectations of your bosses.\\nAlthough building relationships with your superiors is a great way to make connections, you should also spend time learning about what they expect from you.\\nThis can include the expectations listed in your job description, as well as expectations that are more informal, such as networking and offering your help.\\nIf you can help your bosses achieve their goals, this will be a huge plus for you.\\n1-6. Stay proactive to maximize your time on the job.\\nYou should start accomplishing your goals and making connections as soon as possible to get the greatest benefit from your position.\\nYou have the first few days on the job to create a good impression and understand everything you need to be successful in the time ahead.\\n2. Developing a Road Map\\n2-1. Conduct an informational interview with your boss.\\nConducting an informational interview with your boss can help you develop your road map based on your boss's vision for the company and your role.\\nThis will also go a long way towards developing a healthy professional relationship with your boss.\\nYour plans and goals will be accomplished in the best possible manner if you line them up well with his or her needs.\\nYou can gain an edge by learning how you can help him or her succeed and how you can collaborate.\\nGet information about what they want, what their approach is towards routine work and assignments, and how you can go the extra mile to exceed expectations.\\n2-2. Draft a 30/60/90 day plan to map out your success.\\nYour early conversations with your manager should focus on creating a plan for your first 90 days at work, and track those goals on a monthly basis.\\nYou should clearly state what you intend to accomplish in those first three months.\\nYour plan should also reflect your interactions with your teammates.\\nFor example, you should include a goal of maintaining focused listening to earn your coworkers' trust and demonstrate that you are a 100% committed team player.\\nThis will ensure that you are accepted gladly and warmly.\\n2-3. Set realistic goals with your boss.\\nYour career-related goals should be set in collaboration with your boss, so that you can find common ground with him or her.\\nGet your goals reviewed by your boss so that you get their stamp of approval.\\nYour boss can also let you know which goals require slight modification in light of your job duties and the organization’s culture.\\nYou should set a reasonable bar of accomplishment that is neither too high nor too low.\\n3. Ensuring Solid Communication\\n3-1. Expand your network and include your coworkers.\\nMake sure to avoid limiting your communication to only your bosses, rather include everyone who has a good eye on the health of the company.\\nConnect with people who can offer information and advice beyond the regular communication channels.\\nSometimes a job title might not clearly demonstrate the influence your colleague may have.\\nIt’s your duty to gain a deeper understand of each person by digging deeper into your relationships with each individual.\\n3-2. Extend your assistance to those who need it.\\nIf someone can benefit from your assistance or advice, help them out to gain their respect and trust.\\nGo beyond your normal responsibilities and offer to help people with their projects, as long as your own work will not go unattended.\\nGo out of your way to tell people that you are willing to help, even if it demands some extra effort on your end.\\n3-3. Thank people for their help habitually.\\nIrrespective of anyone’s job title, whenever someone extends a helping hand, make sure to return a thank you.\\nYou should show your colleagues the respect they deserve and indicate that you are grateful when they do something for you.\\n3-4. Inform your manager when you complete goals and projects.\\nFocus on achieving your goals and make sure you let your manager know when you complete something worthy of mention.\\nRegular communication with your manager will help you make course corrections.\\nAt the end of your 90-day plan, show your manager what you have accomplished.\\n4. Avoiding Career-Harming Mistakes\\n4-1. Don’t act like a know-it-all.\\nEven if you are one of the most qualified people at the company, avoid coming off as cocky or arrogant.\\nYou are expected to be humble and learn as much as you can.\\nYou will get a lot of time later on to show your genius.\\nListen carefully and talk less.\\n4-2. Avoid trying to do take on too much work.\\nDon't constantly stay late just to show that you are committed.\\nThe expectations you set at the beginning can go a long way, so make sure you are putting in quality time, instead of just a large quantity of time.\\n4-3. Withdraw from gossip.\\nYou will find friends in your new workplace, but always remember to present yourself as professionally as possible.\\nDon't speak negatively about your coworkers or boss.\\nIf you have legitimate complaints, address them directly with those involved.\\n4-4. Stay positive about the company.\\nEven if you don't agree with things that are happening within the company, or the direction that it's going, don’t speak negatively about what is going on in the organization.\\nAvoid making too many comparisons with your old job, and work to create positive change where you can.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Once you have absorbed all the orientation material on the very first day of your job, it’s time to hit the road with a concrete plan of action. You shouldn't undermine the significance of the first few days of your job, since this is the best time to create a solid first impression. If you come out of the gates strong, you will prompt your coworkers to collaborate with you and enable your success at work.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting Off Strong\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand your role thoroughly to gain a comprehensive vision.\", \"描述\": \"The most important thing for you to do at first is to understand your role from multiple perspectives.\\nThis will allow you to develop a plan for what you intend to do over the course of your tenure with the company.\\nYour plan should not be limited to your job description, but should include a vision of how your work relates to other people within the organization.\\nFor example, certain reports that you will create at the end of the month may be used by a team in another department.\\nTherefore, it's imperative that your vision accounts for the impact of your work throughout the entire company.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn about the business to see the big picture.\", \"描述\": \"Take time to learn about the business's history and understand what the business stands for.\\nYou should know the details of the products and services that the company exists to deliver.\\nLearning about the business will give you a chance to understand how your role fits into the bigger picture.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make one-on-one connections.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t just show up at work and sit in your cubicle all day long without talking to anyone.\\nThough it’s important to do your work, you should also branch out and talk to your colleagues.\\nAfter you establish yourself as a reliable and hard-working employee, take some time to go out and interact with your coworkers in a non-professional setting.\\nTry inviting them out to lunch, or for drinks after work.\\nGetting to know them on a personal level will make sure they know who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Build relationships with people in key positions.\", \"描述\": \"Meeting and building relationships with the movers and shakers within the business is a great way to gain connections and business insight.\\nGet to know the the people who run the show and have decision-making authority, to gain insight regarding how the business is run and decisions are made.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand the expectations of your bosses.\", \"描述\": \"Although building relationships with your superiors is a great way to make connections, you should also spend time learning about what they expect from you.\\nThis can include the expectations listed in your job description, as well as expectations that are more informal, such as networking and offering your help.\\nIf you can help your bosses achieve their goals, this will be a huge plus for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay proactive to maximize your time on the job.\", \"描述\": \"You should start accomplishing your goals and making connections as soon as possible to get the greatest benefit from your position.\\nYou have the first few days on the job to create a good impression and understand everything you need to be successful in the time ahead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing a Road Map\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Conduct an informational interview with your boss.\", \"描述\": \"Conducting an informational interview with your boss can help you develop your road map based on your boss's vision for the company and your role.\\nThis will also go a long way towards developing a healthy professional relationship with your boss.\\nYour plans and goals will be accomplished in the best possible manner if you line them up well with his or her needs.\\nYou can gain an edge by learning how you can help him or her succeed and how you can collaborate.\\nGet information about what they want, what their approach is towards routine work and assignments, and how you can go the extra mile to exceed expectations.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Draft a 30/60/90 day plan to map out your success.\", \"描述\": \"Your early conversations with your manager should focus on creating a plan for your first 90 days at work, and track those goals on a monthly basis.\\nYou should clearly state what you intend to accomplish in those first three months.\\nYour plan should also reflect your interactions with your teammates.\\nFor example, you should include a goal of maintaining focused listening to earn your coworkers' trust and demonstrate that you are a 100% committed team player.\\nThis will ensure that you are accepted gladly and warmly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set realistic goals with your boss.\", \"描述\": \"Your career-related goals should be set in collaboration with your boss, so that you can find common ground with him or her.\\nGet your goals reviewed by your boss so that you get their stamp of approval.\\nYour boss can also let you know which goals require slight modification in light of your job duties and the organization’s culture.\\nYou should set a reasonable bar of accomplishment that is neither too high nor too low.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ensuring Solid Communication\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Expand your network and include your coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to avoid limiting your communication to only your bosses, rather include everyone who has a good eye on the health of the company.\\nConnect with people who can offer information and advice beyond the regular communication channels.\\nSometimes a job title might not clearly demonstrate the influence your colleague may have.\\nIt’s your duty to gain a deeper understand of each person by digging deeper into your relationships with each individual.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Extend your assistance to those who need it.\", \"描述\": \"If someone can benefit from your assistance or advice, help them out to gain their respect and trust.\\nGo beyond your normal responsibilities and offer to help people with their projects, as long as your own work will not go unattended.\\nGo out of your way to tell people that you are willing to help, even if it demands some extra effort on your end.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Thank people for their help habitually.\", \"描述\": \"Irrespective of anyone’s job title, whenever someone extends a helping hand, make sure to return a thank you.\\nYou should show your colleagues the respect they deserve and indicate that you are grateful when they do something for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Inform your manager when you complete goals and projects.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on achieving your goals and make sure you let your manager know when you complete something worthy of mention.\\nRegular communication with your manager will help you make course corrections.\\nAt the end of your 90-day plan, show your manager what you have accomplished.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Career-Harming Mistakes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t act like a know-it-all.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are one of the most qualified people at the company, avoid coming off as cocky or arrogant.\\nYou are expected to be humble and learn as much as you can.\\nYou will get a lot of time later on to show your genius.\\nListen carefully and talk less.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid trying to do take on too much work.\", \"描述\": \"Don't constantly stay late just to show that you are committed.\\nThe expectations you set at the beginning can go a long way, so make sure you are putting in quality time, instead of just a large quantity of time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Withdraw from gossip.\", \"描述\": \"You will find friends in your new workplace, but always remember to present yourself as professionally as possible.\\nDon't speak negatively about your coworkers or boss.\\nIf you have legitimate complaints, address them directly with those involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay positive about the company.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don't agree with things that are happening within the company, or the direction that it's going, don’t speak negatively about what is going on in the organization.\\nAvoid making too many comparisons with your old job, and work to create positive change where you can.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,200 | How to Be Successful in Business | 1. Gaining Appropriate Experience
1-1. Educate yourself.
It’s important that you know the fundamentals of your industry, though that doesn’t always necessitate an MBA. A lack of post-secondary education can be a deal breaker for many prospective employers, however. Enrolling in business classes, even if they’re at the learning annex or a community college, shows a determination to learn that will definitely appeal, and should be highlighted on your resume. Everybody has to start somewhere!
College. A degree in business makes sense for any businessman, though you should research the industries you’re interested in before declaring your major. Some positions may prefer more specialized degrees, so do your homework.
Trade schools. If the business you’re interested in specializes in a particular trade, you might be best off immersing yourself in the trade.
Lectures and seminars. Listening to the advice of those who are successful in their field can be enlightening. Check the schedule at local colleges for speaking tours, or search online for industry-related speaking engagements in your city. Staying up-to-date on what the top minds in the industry are saying is essential, even if you already think you’re at the top of your game.
1-2. Put in after-hours work.
Success in the business world means going the extra mile. There are multiple resources available to you online to further immerse yourself in further learning, if you find you’re finishing your schoolwork (or the work at your side job) with time to spare. Never rest on your laurels: think about what should come next.
Many employers nowadays are prioritizing the skills a candidate brings to the table over their GPA or higher education. Research example resumes for positions you’d like to hold, and put effort into developing those skills in your free time.
The extra mile shouldn’t come at the expense of every other aspect of your life, though. Finding time to reward yourself for hard work will instill better habits in you for the future.
1-3. Seek the guidance of a mentor.
Developing a relationship with a professional whose career you admire is one of the more direct and efficient forms of networking. Establishing the connection might prove difficult, but reach out through whatever means are available to you. Prepare a few pertinent questions for your meeting, e.g. “How did you get your start?”; “Did you go to business school?”; and “Was this your first endeavor in the industry?”
If a coworker or friend of your parents works in a profession you’re interested in, ask your parents for their email address, or to arrange a meeting.
With a local business owner, you might just try walking up to them in their place of business and asking! Introduce yourself as an aspiring businessman and admirer of their accomplishments, and ask if they have any time available to speak with you on the subject.
At school, you might find a mentor in a professor. Never neglect the wealth of knowledge which exists in a university, and don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re only allowed to learn during class. Approach your professor for advice during their office hours.
Some companies employ on-the-job mentoring programs which pair recruits up with experienced workers. Take advantage of these, and look to them not as a burden but as an opportunity to learn and excel.
1-4. Apply for internships.
When you don’t yet have the experience, use internships to get your foot in the door. Don’t balk at unpaid positions if they can build the bridges you need to succeed in the long-term, and the hours won’t leave you penniless in the short-term. Internships provide many college students their first opportunities to network on the job with working professionals. Low-paying entry level jobs are simply the price to be paid in the business world right now, when true “entry level” jobs won’t give you a chance without a few years of experience already under your belt.
Do balk at unpaid positions which don’t present themselves as pathways to success, either within the company or by opening further doors to you.
2. Establishing the Best Habits
2-1. Prioritize tasks.
Complete the tasks which will benefit you the most in the long run first. You’ll need to identify the difference between “high-value” tasks (those which will benefit you the most in the long term) versus “low-value” tasks (tasks which may be easier, but will offer fewer benefits).
2-2. Stop procrastinating.
Avoiding the less pleasant aspects of work doesn’t make them disappear. Building up a huge hunk of the bad stuff to deal with all at once, after you’ve completed the enjoyable stuff, is just going to leave a sour taste in your mouth at the end of a project.
Make lists. Enough can’t be said about the anti-procrastination benefits of seeing your work in front of you, and crossing it off as you finish it. Each list should be long enough to keep your workload in perspective, but not so long that your day feels paralyzingly demanding.
One tactic is to divvy your seemingly unmanageable task into manageable chunks, then sprinkle those less-enjoyable aspects of a task into that other stuff that you really like.
Stick to a schedule: physically writing out to-dos and calendars isn’t necessary for everyone, but establishing a regular schedule can help you efficiently take care of business. Scheduling the work you dislike for a specific day—and then pushing it out of your mind to avoid stress on other days—might help you conquer unhelpful procrastination habits.
2-3. Complete projects.
Follow through on the tasks you begin. Finishing one project will teach you exponentially more than a dozen fizzled-out attempts, even if you never want to look at that project again.
Sometimes you’ll find yourself bogged down in work that seems, now that you’ve toiled away at it for a week, misguided in its goal. If the project has a projected timeline that will take up a great deal of your time moving forward, it’s sometimes best to reassess whether you’re spending your time well (see above, about “high-value” tasks versus “low-value” tasks). So how do you know when you should drop a project? Honest introspection, and self-awareness. If you find yourself thinking this often—and you’ve got a string of unfinished projects in your wake—it might be a sign you need to buckle down and see this to the end.
2-4. Take responsibility.
Whether they’ve done well or screwed up, a successful businessman must be able to take responsibility for their actions. It signals to both employees and employers a willingness to deal openly and responsibly with the tasks at hand. Squirming away from negative fallout your missteps have made endears you to no one, and can have disastrous consequences on the relationships you’ve made in the business world.
3. Turning Your Passion Into Work
3-1. Pursue something important to you.
Committing yourself to a fulfilling pursuit allows passion to pick up the slack on those days that you’re not feeling especially driven. Passion doesn’t translate to “fun 24/7,” but it should be meaningful to you in some capacity. The effort you exert should always be on something that will make you proud in the end, or will at least put you one step closer to what it is that you really want to do.
3-2. Strike a balance between work and play.
Healthy work life balance is essential to long-term success and a worker’s well-being. But as might be expected, when you’re starting out, more ambition means longer hours. Passion for your work will help to keep those hours you spend burning the midnight oil meaningful.
Diving too hard into work without giving yourself a break will increase your stress levels and decrease your effectiveness. Set boundaries on your workday, and take frequent breaks to recharge your batteries.
Don’t confuse your work for who you are. Finding time and space away from our work—even if it is our life’s passion—can often provide insight on that work.
3-3. Forget perfection.
The more meaningful your work is to you, the tougher this can be, but great, as they say, is the enemy of good. Focusing too intently on creating the perfect, most ideal iteration of that pitch, graphic, or copy can leave you with one excellent piece of work, instead of the ten pieces you needed.
Find a balance in your work that satisfies you, your boss, and your client without causing the rest of your life to suffer. Employers prize those employees who can deliver solid work dependably over those who occasionally produce great stuff… but repeatedly miss their deadlines.
3-4. Talk the talk.
When you’re beginning a new enterprise, it might feel presumptuous to speak of your career like it’s the real deal. Doing so, however, will help others see you seriously, and will help you see yourself seriously as well.
If you’re starting a business, don’t equivocate. Talk about your new business as you would any other. Refer to it as “work,” and even when you work from home a certain room can be “the office.” It’s alright to have a sense of humor about it, but don’t undermine your efforts.
4. Knowing the Right People
4-1. Build bridges, don’t burn them.
Behaving respectfully, courteously, and humanely to everyone you meet is a good starting point! You never know when you might form a true bond on an unexpected occasion, and find your next business partner, investor, or employer.
Definitively end relationships only when it’s absolutely necessary. When you leave a job, resist the temptation to gloat, slack off, or tell your boss “how you really feel.” When you tug on a thread in your network, you never know who’ll be feeling its reverberations down the line.
4-2. Network like a person, not a product.
Networking can feel mercenary and shallow when advertised too overtly. Understand that networking is essential to success in most industries, but that you should never forget that you’re forging connections with people. Taking a holistic, human approach to your interactions can make you more memorable down the line when it comes time for hiring; employers might have thoughts not just of “Who do I know that would be good for this copywriting job?” but “What job do I know that would be a good fit for Richard?”
Everybody else in your industry understands how crucial networking is, so don’t think you’re the only schmuck out there advertising your skill. Self-promotion is, to some degree, the name of the game.
4-3. Develop your interpersonal skills.
Not only will you need these skills to navigate the day-to-day with your employers and employees, you’ll also benefit from them when you negotiate deals and contracts. Studies have shown that the most successful business people excel in both cognitive and social skills.
Make it a point to appreciate the work and input of others.
Practice active listening. This means acknowledging what other people say by repeating it back to them in your own words, as you understand it to be.
Pay attention to others. Be proactive about noticing others' feelings, words and body language.
Connect people. A successful business owner is a hub through which other interpersonal connections are made. Promote an environment that brings people together by treating people equally and fairly, and encouraging them to work together.
Take a leadership role when it comes to resolving conflicts. Act as the mediator, rather than involving yourself personally.
4-4. Know your customers and clients.
Co-workers and potential employers aren’t the only people you should be forging strong relationships with in the business world. Make an effort to develop appropriate relationships with the people who come into your store, use your product, or appreciate your work. Emotions—not prices—are often more of a deciding factor in many purchasing decisions.
4-5. Hire wisely.
Your employees are your support network, and are necessary to your success. Hire those who are skilled and competent, but also consider how well your employees will mesh together as a team.
Homogeneity should never be prioritized in an effort to have your employees mesh well. Diverse viewpoints offer myriad advantages to your business as a whole, in both innovation and experience.
Be careful if you’re in a situation to hire family members and personal friends as employees. While connections are the #1 way in which many jobs are found, nepotism can reflect poorly on you. Ensure your hires are qualified for the position,
5. Taking Care of Business
5-1. Survive.
As a business owner, the most important goal when beginning a new business, job, or craft is simply to survive. If you’re starting your own business or getting in on the ground floor, avoid establishing unrealistic goals for the fledgling enterprise.
The heart of all businesses, even those with altruistic, selfless ownership, is making money. The goal might be modest (just enough to allow your business to survive and grow) or enormous (to attract additional investors and satisfy shareholders), but this is true to some degree for every business.
You will never achieve that goal of, say, providing mittens to all of the underprivileged kids in the world through your new mitten shop, if you don’t focus on keeping that coffee shop in business and thriving first. Long-term goals are important, but shouldn’t come at the expense of sustainable short-term ones.
5-2. Invest in your future.
Ever heard the saying “You’ve gotta spend money to make money?” Frugality is advised wherever possible, but only so much that it frees up capital for the more important, more deserving expenses. Those expenses might be the salaries of particularly accomplished professionals you’re hoping to woo, or trade magazines, or simply a nice suit so as to look the part in the company of your colleagues and clients. Aim to invest in future success, not just celebrate current success.
Avoid exorbitantly expensive ties and jackets, company cars, and huge offices you really don’t need—but don’t take it for granted that nice things are automatically exorbitant. Image is an important component of success in business, but not just when it comes to the superficial. Having an enormous office you can’t fill or work you can’t pay for punctually (on account of that enormous office or company car lease) will feed into other companies’ perception of you as well.
5-3. Take calculated risks.
New businesses need to survive if they’re going to ever be anything, but all businesses must take on risk of some kind. Stepping outside the norm, either in your role at a company or in the expectations for the industry, is necessary for success in a crowded field. Plan your ventures carefully and hedge as much risk as you can, but be prepared for the occasional setback.
5-4. Introduce the unexpected.
Successful innovators are held in high esteem in the American consciousness, but actually pursuing unproven ideas can be terrifying. Don’t be afraid of venturing into the unknown—great ideas may be a dime a dozen, but putting in the work to pursue a great idea shows spirit and tenacity.
An idea’s failure isn’t always indicative of having the wrong idea—sometimes it’s simply the right idea, pursued ineffectively. Don’t scrap everything you’ve been trying all at once and or totally restructure. When working within a company or partnership, for example, the issue could be solved by better understanding each member’s accountability.
5-5. Embrace failure.
Failure illuminates some truth about your methods and goals, however much it may sting. Interpret your failures not as shameful, but as a reason to reflect on your work. Sometimes it’s only through facing the insurmountable, failing, and then struggling to pull ourselves back together that we develop the tenacity our work requires of us.
”Failure,” as Henry Ford put it, “is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Gaining Appropriate Experience\\n1-1. Educate yourself.\\nIt’s important that you know the fundamentals of your industry, though that doesn’t always necessitate an MBA. A lack of post-secondary education can be a deal breaker for many prospective employers, however. Enrolling in business classes, even if they’re at the learning annex or a community college, shows a determination to learn that will definitely appeal, and should be highlighted on your resume. Everybody has to start somewhere!\\nCollege. A degree in business makes sense for any businessman, though you should research the industries you’re interested in before declaring your major. Some positions may prefer more specialized degrees, so do your homework.\\nTrade schools. If the business you’re interested in specializes in a particular trade, you might be best off immersing yourself in the trade.\\nLectures and seminars. Listening to the advice of those who are successful in their field can be enlightening. Check the schedule at local colleges for speaking tours, or search online for industry-related speaking engagements in your city. Staying up-to-date on what the top minds in the industry are saying is essential, even if you already think you’re at the top of your game.\\n1-2. Put in after-hours work.\\nSuccess in the business world means going the extra mile. There are multiple resources available to you online to further immerse yourself in further learning, if you find you’re finishing your schoolwork (or the work at your side job) with time to spare. Never rest on your laurels: think about what should come next.\\nMany employers nowadays are prioritizing the skills a candidate brings to the table over their GPA or higher education. Research example resumes for positions you’d like to hold, and put effort into developing those skills in your free time.\\nThe extra mile shouldn’t come at the expense of every other aspect of your life, though. Finding time to reward yourself for hard work will instill better habits in you for the future.\\n1-3. Seek the guidance of a mentor.\\nDeveloping a relationship with a professional whose career you admire is one of the more direct and efficient forms of networking. Establishing the connection might prove difficult, but reach out through whatever means are available to you. Prepare a few pertinent questions for your meeting, e.g. “How did you get your start?”; “Did you go to business school?”; and “Was this your first endeavor in the industry?”\\nIf a coworker or friend of your parents works in a profession you’re interested in, ask your parents for their email address, or to arrange a meeting.\\nWith a local business owner, you might just try walking up to them in their place of business and asking! Introduce yourself as an aspiring businessman and admirer of their accomplishments, and ask if they have any time available to speak with you on the subject.\\nAt school, you might find a mentor in a professor. Never neglect the wealth of knowledge which exists in a university, and don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re only allowed to learn during class. Approach your professor for advice during their office hours.\\nSome companies employ on-the-job mentoring programs which pair recruits up with experienced workers. Take advantage of these, and look to them not as a burden but as an opportunity to learn and excel.\\n1-4. Apply for internships.\\nWhen you don’t yet have the experience, use internships to get your foot in the door. Don’t balk at unpaid positions if they can build the bridges you need to succeed in the long-term, and the hours won’t leave you penniless in the short-term. Internships provide many college students their first opportunities to network on the job with working professionals. Low-paying entry level jobs are simply the price to be paid in the business world right now, when true “entry level” jobs won’t give you a chance without a few years of experience already under your belt.\\nDo balk at unpaid positions which don’t present themselves as pathways to success, either within the company or by opening further doors to you.\\n2. Establishing the Best Habits\\n2-1. Prioritize tasks.\\nComplete the tasks which will benefit you the most in the long run first. You’ll need to identify the difference between “high-value” tasks (those which will benefit you the most in the long term) versus “low-value” tasks (tasks which may be easier, but will offer fewer benefits).\\n2-2. Stop procrastinating.\\nAvoiding the less pleasant aspects of work doesn’t make them disappear. Building up a huge hunk of the bad stuff to deal with all at once, after you’ve completed the enjoyable stuff, is just going to leave a sour taste in your mouth at the end of a project.\\nMake lists. Enough can’t be said about the anti-procrastination benefits of seeing your work in front of you, and crossing it off as you finish it. Each list should be long enough to keep your workload in perspective, but not so long that your day feels paralyzingly demanding.\\nOne tactic is to divvy your seemingly unmanageable task into manageable chunks, then sprinkle those less-enjoyable aspects of a task into that other stuff that you really like.\\nStick to a schedule: physically writing out to-dos and calendars isn’t necessary for everyone, but establishing a regular schedule can help you efficiently take care of business. Scheduling the work you dislike for a specific day—and then pushing it out of your mind to avoid stress on other days—might help you conquer unhelpful procrastination habits.\\n2-3. Complete projects.\\nFollow through on the tasks you begin. Finishing one project will teach you exponentially more than a dozen fizzled-out attempts, even if you never want to look at that project again.\\nSometimes you’ll find yourself bogged down in work that seems, now that you’ve toiled away at it for a week, misguided in its goal. If the project has a projected timeline that will take up a great deal of your time moving forward, it’s sometimes best to reassess whether you’re spending your time well (see above, about “high-value” tasks versus “low-value” tasks). So how do you know when you should drop a project? Honest introspection, and self-awareness. If you find yourself thinking this often—and you’ve got a string of unfinished projects in your wake—it might be a sign you need to buckle down and see this to the end.\\n2-4. Take responsibility.\\nWhether they’ve done well or screwed up, a successful businessman must be able to take responsibility for their actions. It signals to both employees and employers a willingness to deal openly and responsibly with the tasks at hand. Squirming away from negative fallout your missteps have made endears you to no one, and can have disastrous consequences on the relationships you’ve made in the business world.\\n3. Turning Your Passion Into Work\\n3-1. Pursue something important to you.\\nCommitting yourself to a fulfilling pursuit allows passion to pick up the slack on those days that you’re not feeling especially driven. Passion doesn’t translate to “fun 24/7,” but it should be meaningful to you in some capacity. The effort you exert should always be on something that will make you proud in the end, or will at least put you one step closer to what it is that you really want to do.\\n3-2. Strike a balance between work and play.\\nHealthy work life balance is essential to long-term success and a worker’s well-being. But as might be expected, when you’re starting out, more ambition means longer hours. Passion for your work will help to keep those hours you spend burning the midnight oil meaningful.\\nDiving too hard into work without giving yourself a break will increase your stress levels and decrease your effectiveness. Set boundaries on your workday, and take frequent breaks to recharge your batteries.\\nDon’t confuse your work for who you are. Finding time and space away from our work—even if it is our life’s passion—can often provide insight on that work.\\n3-3. Forget perfection.\\nThe more meaningful your work is to you, the tougher this can be, but great, as they say, is the enemy of good. Focusing too intently on creating the perfect, most ideal iteration of that pitch, graphic, or copy can leave you with one excellent piece of work, instead of the ten pieces you needed.\\nFind a balance in your work that satisfies you, your boss, and your client without causing the rest of your life to suffer. Employers prize those employees who can deliver solid work dependably over those who occasionally produce great stuff… but repeatedly miss their deadlines.\\n3-4. Talk the talk.\\nWhen you’re beginning a new enterprise, it might feel presumptuous to speak of your career like it’s the real deal. Doing so, however, will help others see you seriously, and will help you see yourself seriously as well.\\nIf you’re starting a business, don’t equivocate. Talk about your new business as you would any other. Refer to it as “work,” and even when you work from home a certain room can be “the office.” It’s alright to have a sense of humor about it, but don’t undermine your efforts.\\n4. Knowing the Right People\\n4-1. Build bridges, don’t burn them.\\nBehaving respectfully, courteously, and humanely to everyone you meet is a good starting point! You never know when you might form a true bond on an unexpected occasion, and find your next business partner, investor, or employer.\\nDefinitively end relationships only when it’s absolutely necessary. When you leave a job, resist the temptation to gloat, slack off, or tell your boss “how you really feel.” When you tug on a thread in your network, you never know who’ll be feeling its reverberations down the line.\\n4-2. Network like a person, not a product.\\nNetworking can feel mercenary and shallow when advertised too overtly. Understand that networking is essential to success in most industries, but that you should never forget that you’re forging connections with people. Taking a holistic, human approach to your interactions can make you more memorable down the line when it comes time for hiring; employers might have thoughts not just of “Who do I know that would be good for this copywriting job?” but “What job do I know that would be a good fit for Richard?”\\nEverybody else in your industry understands how crucial networking is, so don’t think you’re the only schmuck out there advertising your skill. Self-promotion is, to some degree, the name of the game.\\n4-3. Develop your interpersonal skills.\\nNot only will you need these skills to navigate the day-to-day with your employers and employees, you’ll also benefit from them when you negotiate deals and contracts. Studies have shown that the most successful business people excel in both cognitive and social skills.\\nMake it a point to appreciate the work and input of others.\\nPractice active listening. This means acknowledging what other people say by repeating it back to them in your own words, as you understand it to be.\\nPay attention to others. Be proactive about noticing others' feelings, words and body language.\\nConnect people. A successful business owner is a hub through which other interpersonal connections are made. Promote an environment that brings people together by treating people equally and fairly, and encouraging them to work together.\\nTake a leadership role when it comes to resolving conflicts. Act as the mediator, rather than involving yourself personally.\\n4-4. Know your customers and clients.\\nCo-workers and potential employers aren’t the only people you should be forging strong relationships with in the business world. Make an effort to develop appropriate relationships with the people who come into your store, use your product, or appreciate your work. Emotions—not prices—are often more of a deciding factor in many purchasing decisions.\\n4-5. Hire wisely.\\nYour employees are your support network, and are necessary to your success. Hire those who are skilled and competent, but also consider how well your employees will mesh together as a team.\\nHomogeneity should never be prioritized in an effort to have your employees mesh well. Diverse viewpoints offer myriad advantages to your business as a whole, in both innovation and experience.\\nBe careful if you’re in a situation to hire family members and personal friends as employees. While connections are the #1 way in which many jobs are found, nepotism can reflect poorly on you. Ensure your hires are qualified for the position,\\n5. Taking Care of Business\\n5-1. Survive.\\nAs a business owner, the most important goal when beginning a new business, job, or craft is simply to survive. If you’re starting your own business or getting in on the ground floor, avoid establishing unrealistic goals for the fledgling enterprise.\\nThe heart of all businesses, even those with altruistic, selfless ownership, is making money. The goal might be modest (just enough to allow your business to survive and grow) or enormous (to attract additional investors and satisfy shareholders), but this is true to some degree for every business.\\nYou will never achieve that goal of, say, providing mittens to all of the underprivileged kids in the world through your new mitten shop, if you don’t focus on keeping that coffee shop in business and thriving first. Long-term goals are important, but shouldn’t come at the expense of sustainable short-term ones.\\n5-2. Invest in your future.\\nEver heard the saying “You’ve gotta spend money to make money?” Frugality is advised wherever possible, but only so much that it frees up capital for the more important, more deserving expenses. Those expenses might be the salaries of particularly accomplished professionals you’re hoping to woo, or trade magazines, or simply a nice suit so as to look the part in the company of your colleagues and clients. Aim to invest in future success, not just celebrate current success.\\nAvoid exorbitantly expensive ties and jackets, company cars, and huge offices you really don’t need—but don’t take it for granted that nice things are automatically exorbitant. Image is an important component of success in business, but not just when it comes to the superficial. Having an enormous office you can’t fill or work you can’t pay for punctually (on account of that enormous office or company car lease) will feed into other companies’ perception of you as well.\\n5-3. Take calculated risks.\\nNew businesses need to survive if they’re going to ever be anything, but all businesses must take on risk of some kind. Stepping outside the norm, either in your role at a company or in the expectations for the industry, is necessary for success in a crowded field. Plan your ventures carefully and hedge as much risk as you can, but be prepared for the occasional setback.\\n5-4. Introduce the unexpected.\\nSuccessful innovators are held in high esteem in the American consciousness, but actually pursuing unproven ideas can be terrifying. Don’t be afraid of venturing into the unknown—great ideas may be a dime a dozen, but putting in the work to pursue a great idea shows spirit and tenacity.\\nAn idea’s failure isn’t always indicative of having the wrong idea—sometimes it’s simply the right idea, pursued ineffectively. Don’t scrap everything you’ve been trying all at once and or totally restructure. When working within a company or partnership, for example, the issue could be solved by better understanding each member’s accountability.\\n5-5. Embrace failure.\\nFailure illuminates some truth about your methods and goals, however much it may sting. Interpret your failures not as shameful, but as a reason to reflect on your work. Sometimes it’s only through facing the insurmountable, failing, and then struggling to pull ourselves back together that we develop the tenacity our work requires of us.\\n”Failure,” as Henry Ford put it, “is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Anyone who conducts business—whether that business is on behalf of a small company, a globe-spanning corporation, or your own entrepreneurial venture—can be considered a businessman, businesswoman) or a businessperson in general. Success in this field can be measured by looking at both personal achievement of a businessperson, and the overall health of the businesses that person has been a part of. The two are often intertwined quite deeply, as the attainment of company-wide goals begins with the work a person puts into their own success.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gaining Appropriate Experience\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Educate yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important that you know the fundamentals of your industry, though that doesn’t always necessitate an MBA. A lack of post-secondary education can be a deal breaker for many prospective employers, however. Enrolling in business classes, even if they’re at the learning annex or a community college, shows a determination to learn that will definitely appeal, and should be highlighted on your resume. Everybody has to start somewhere!\\nCollege. A degree in business makes sense for any businessman, though you should research the industries you’re interested in before declaring your major. Some positions may prefer more specialized degrees, so do your homework.\\nTrade schools. If the business you’re interested in specializes in a particular trade, you might be best off immersing yourself in the trade.\\nLectures and seminars. Listening to the advice of those who are successful in their field can be enlightening. Check the schedule at local colleges for speaking tours, or search online for industry-related speaking engagements in your city. Staying up-to-date on what the top minds in the industry are saying is essential, even if you already think you’re at the top of your game.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put in after-hours work.\", \"描述\": \"Success in the business world means going the extra mile. There are multiple resources available to you online to further immerse yourself in further learning, if you find you’re finishing your schoolwork (or the work at your side job) with time to spare. Never rest on your laurels: think about what should come next.\\nMany employers nowadays are prioritizing the skills a candidate brings to the table over their GPA or higher education. Research example resumes for positions you’d like to hold, and put effort into developing those skills in your free time.\\nThe extra mile shouldn’t come at the expense of every other aspect of your life, though. Finding time to reward yourself for hard work will instill better habits in you for the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seek the guidance of a mentor.\", \"描述\": \"Developing a relationship with a professional whose career you admire is one of the more direct and efficient forms of networking. Establishing the connection might prove difficult, but reach out through whatever means are available to you. Prepare a few pertinent questions for your meeting, e.g. “How did you get your start?”; “Did you go to business school?”; and “Was this your first endeavor in the industry?”\\nIf a coworker or friend of your parents works in a profession you’re interested in, ask your parents for their email address, or to arrange a meeting.\\nWith a local business owner, you might just try walking up to them in their place of business and asking! Introduce yourself as an aspiring businessman and admirer of their accomplishments, and ask if they have any time available to speak with you on the subject.\\nAt school, you might find a mentor in a professor. Never neglect the wealth of knowledge which exists in a university, and don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re only allowed to learn during class. Approach your professor for advice during their office hours.\\nSome companies employ on-the-job mentoring programs which pair recruits up with experienced workers. Take advantage of these, and look to them not as a burden but as an opportunity to learn and excel.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Apply for internships.\", \"描述\": \"When you don’t yet have the experience, use internships to get your foot in the door. Don’t balk at unpaid positions if they can build the bridges you need to succeed in the long-term, and the hours won’t leave you penniless in the short-term. Internships provide many college students their first opportunities to network on the job with working professionals. Low-paying entry level jobs are simply the price to be paid in the business world right now, when true “entry level” jobs won’t give you a chance without a few years of experience already under your belt.\\nDo balk at unpaid positions which don’t present themselves as pathways to success, either within the company or by opening further doors to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Establishing the Best Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prioritize tasks.\", \"描述\": \"Complete the tasks which will benefit you the most in the long run first. You’ll need to identify the difference between “high-value” tasks (those which will benefit you the most in the long term) versus “low-value” tasks (tasks which may be easier, but will offer fewer benefits).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop procrastinating.\", \"描述\": \"Avoiding the less pleasant aspects of work doesn’t make them disappear. Building up a huge hunk of the bad stuff to deal with all at once, after you’ve completed the enjoyable stuff, is just going to leave a sour taste in your mouth at the end of a project.\\nMake lists. Enough can’t be said about the anti-procrastination benefits of seeing your work in front of you, and crossing it off as you finish it. Each list should be long enough to keep your workload in perspective, but not so long that your day feels paralyzingly demanding.\\nOne tactic is to divvy your seemingly unmanageable task into manageable chunks, then sprinkle those less-enjoyable aspects of a task into that other stuff that you really like.\\nStick to a schedule: physically writing out to-dos and calendars isn’t necessary for everyone, but establishing a regular schedule can help you efficiently take care of business. Scheduling the work you dislike for a specific day—and then pushing it out of your mind to avoid stress on other days—might help you conquer unhelpful procrastination habits.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Complete projects.\", \"描述\": \"Follow through on the tasks you begin. Finishing one project will teach you exponentially more than a dozen fizzled-out attempts, even if you never want to look at that project again.\\nSometimes you’ll find yourself bogged down in work that seems, now that you’ve toiled away at it for a week, misguided in its goal. If the project has a projected timeline that will take up a great deal of your time moving forward, it’s sometimes best to reassess whether you’re spending your time well (see above, about “high-value” tasks versus “low-value” tasks). So how do you know when you should drop a project? Honest introspection, and self-awareness. If you find yourself thinking this often—and you’ve got a string of unfinished projects in your wake—it might be a sign you need to buckle down and see this to the end.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Whether they’ve done well or screwed up, a successful businessman must be able to take responsibility for their actions. It signals to both employees and employers a willingness to deal openly and responsibly with the tasks at hand. Squirming away from negative fallout your missteps have made endears you to no one, and can have disastrous consequences on the relationships you’ve made in the business world.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turning Your Passion Into Work\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pursue something important to you.\", \"描述\": \"Committing yourself to a fulfilling pursuit allows passion to pick up the slack on those days that you’re not feeling especially driven. Passion doesn’t translate to “fun 24/7,” but it should be meaningful to you in some capacity. The effort you exert should always be on something that will make you proud in the end, or will at least put you one step closer to what it is that you really want to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strike a balance between work and play.\", \"描述\": \"Healthy work life balance is essential to long-term success and a worker’s well-being. But as might be expected, when you’re starting out, more ambition means longer hours. Passion for your work will help to keep those hours you spend burning the midnight oil meaningful.\\nDiving too hard into work without giving yourself a break will increase your stress levels and decrease your effectiveness. Set boundaries on your workday, and take frequent breaks to recharge your batteries.\\nDon’t confuse your work for who you are. Finding time and space away from our work—even if it is our life’s passion—can often provide insight on that work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forget perfection.\", \"描述\": \"The more meaningful your work is to you, the tougher this can be, but great, as they say, is the enemy of good. Focusing too intently on creating the perfect, most ideal iteration of that pitch, graphic, or copy can leave you with one excellent piece of work, instead of the ten pieces you needed.\\nFind a balance in your work that satisfies you, your boss, and your client without causing the rest of your life to suffer. Employers prize those employees who can deliver solid work dependably over those who occasionally produce great stuff… but repeatedly miss their deadlines.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk the talk.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re beginning a new enterprise, it might feel presumptuous to speak of your career like it’s the real deal. Doing so, however, will help others see you seriously, and will help you see yourself seriously as well.\\nIf you’re starting a business, don’t equivocate. Talk about your new business as you would any other. Refer to it as “work,” and even when you work from home a certain room can be “the office.” It’s alright to have a sense of humor about it, but don’t undermine your efforts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Knowing the Right People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build bridges, don’t burn them.\", \"描述\": \"Behaving respectfully, courteously, and humanely to everyone you meet is a good starting point! You never know when you might form a true bond on an unexpected occasion, and find your next business partner, investor, or employer.\\nDefinitively end relationships only when it’s absolutely necessary. When you leave a job, resist the temptation to gloat, slack off, or tell your boss “how you really feel.” When you tug on a thread in your network, you never know who’ll be feeling its reverberations down the line.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Network like a person, not a product.\", \"描述\": \"Networking can feel mercenary and shallow when advertised too overtly. Understand that networking is essential to success in most industries, but that you should never forget that you’re forging connections with people. Taking a holistic, human approach to your interactions can make you more memorable down the line when it comes time for hiring; employers might have thoughts not just of “Who do I know that would be good for this copywriting job?” but “What job do I know that would be a good fit for Richard?”\\nEverybody else in your industry understands how crucial networking is, so don’t think you’re the only schmuck out there advertising your skill. Self-promotion is, to some degree, the name of the game.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Develop your interpersonal skills.\", \"描述\": \"Not only will you need these skills to navigate the day-to-day with your employers and employees, you’ll also benefit from them when you negotiate deals and contracts. Studies have shown that the most successful business people excel in both cognitive and social skills.\\nMake it a point to appreciate the work and input of others.\\nPractice active listening. This means acknowledging what other people say by repeating it back to them in your own words, as you understand it to be.\\nPay attention to others. Be proactive about noticing others' feelings, words and body language.\\nConnect people. A successful business owner is a hub through which other interpersonal connections are made. Promote an environment that brings people together by treating people equally and fairly, and encouraging them to work together.\\nTake a leadership role when it comes to resolving conflicts. Act as the mediator, rather than involving yourself personally.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know your customers and clients.\", \"描述\": \"Co-workers and potential employers aren’t the only people you should be forging strong relationships with in the business world. Make an effort to develop appropriate relationships with the people who come into your store, use your product, or appreciate your work. Emotions—not prices—are often more of a deciding factor in many purchasing decisions.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Hire wisely.\", \"描述\": \"Your employees are your support network, and are necessary to your success. Hire those who are skilled and competent, but also consider how well your employees will mesh together as a team.\\nHomogeneity should never be prioritized in an effort to have your employees mesh well. Diverse viewpoints offer myriad advantages to your business as a whole, in both innovation and experience.\\nBe careful if you’re in a situation to hire family members and personal friends as employees. While connections are the #1 way in which many jobs are found, nepotism can reflect poorly on you. Ensure your hires are qualified for the position,\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Business\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Survive.\", \"描述\": \"As a business owner, the most important goal when beginning a new business, job, or craft is simply to survive. If you’re starting your own business or getting in on the ground floor, avoid establishing unrealistic goals for the fledgling enterprise.\\nThe heart of all businesses, even those with altruistic, selfless ownership, is making money. The goal might be modest (just enough to allow your business to survive and grow) or enormous (to attract additional investors and satisfy shareholders), but this is true to some degree for every business.\\nYou will never achieve that goal of, say, providing mittens to all of the underprivileged kids in the world through your new mitten shop, if you don’t focus on keeping that coffee shop in business and thriving first. Long-term goals are important, but shouldn’t come at the expense of sustainable short-term ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invest in your future.\", \"描述\": \"Ever heard the saying “You’ve gotta spend money to make money?” Frugality is advised wherever possible, but only so much that it frees up capital for the more important, more deserving expenses. Those expenses might be the salaries of particularly accomplished professionals you’re hoping to woo, or trade magazines, or simply a nice suit so as to look the part in the company of your colleagues and clients. Aim to invest in future success, not just celebrate current success.\\nAvoid exorbitantly expensive ties and jackets, company cars, and huge offices you really don’t need—but don’t take it for granted that nice things are automatically exorbitant. Image is an important component of success in business, but not just when it comes to the superficial. Having an enormous office you can’t fill or work you can’t pay for punctually (on account of that enormous office or company car lease) will feed into other companies’ perception of you as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take calculated risks.\", \"描述\": \"New businesses need to survive if they’re going to ever be anything, but all businesses must take on risk of some kind. Stepping outside the norm, either in your role at a company or in the expectations for the industry, is necessary for success in a crowded field. Plan your ventures carefully and hedge as much risk as you can, but be prepared for the occasional setback.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Introduce the unexpected.\", \"描述\": \"Successful innovators are held in high esteem in the American consciousness, but actually pursuing unproven ideas can be terrifying. Don’t be afraid of venturing into the unknown—great ideas may be a dime a dozen, but putting in the work to pursue a great idea shows spirit and tenacity.\\nAn idea’s failure isn’t always indicative of having the wrong idea—sometimes it’s simply the right idea, pursued ineffectively. Don’t scrap everything you’ve been trying all at once and or totally restructure. When working within a company or partnership, for example, the issue could be solved by better understanding each member’s accountability.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Embrace failure.\", \"描述\": \"Failure illuminates some truth about your methods and goals, however much it may sting. Interpret your failures not as shameful, but as a reason to reflect on your work. Sometimes it’s only through facing the insurmountable, failing, and then struggling to pull ourselves back together that we develop the tenacity our work requires of us.\\n”Failure,” as Henry Ford put it, “is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,201 | How to Be Successful in Catalog Heaven in Roblox | 1. Steps
1-1. Perform the Outrageous Sword speed trick (optional).
First, get the Outrageous Sword, then find the grey character (if you have VIP, he's in your closet), and slash and hack with the sword for 10-30 seconds. Do not go over or else you cannot control your self. You will find that you are now extremely fast.
1-2. Get a good melee weapon.
Some of the best melee weapons are the Skeleton King's Sword, and the Icedagger.
1-3. Get a good explosive.
The best rocket for that is the Exponential Rocket.
1-4. Get one or more guardians.
Some suggestions are the Phoenix/Icy Arctic Fowl, Korblox Flying Oblivion Horn, Orinthian Falcon, Bald Eagle, and Ghost Minion. One tactic to win (it might not be as fun, but it works) is to just get all of these and use all of them at once.
1-5. Get a long ranged weapon (optional).
You should get the M1 Garand with infinite ammo, 8 bullets in a clip (for some reason, you can't manually reload) and 30 damage. Performing a headshot is an instant kill. If you are more worried about killing a certain person, use the potato cannon. It won't give you a KO, but it's a very good long ranged weapon.
1-6. Get a good close range weapon (optional).
A good close range weapon is the Scatter Blaster and the Trench Warfare. The Trench Warfare is a powerful shotgun. If you are close enough, it's a two hit KO. A Scatterblaster is also deadly, but you can get hit by your own bullets since you are fast
1-7. Get a good Medium Range weapon (optional).
A good medium range weapon is the Sten gun, It's like a SMG, but it's much stronger. It wouldn't hurt to use the Luger Pistol too.
1-8. Get Some Flying Gear.
Make sure you have some flying gear, in case you fall. Pompous, Santa's Sleigh, Artemis Bow, Sinister Flying Carpet, and Golden Fleece are some good choices. Also, you can use the hover glitch (it's kind of a cheat, so you shouldn't use it)
Get the Green Epic Sauce. Search 'green' and click the green bottle.
Get the Moonwalk Potion. Search for 'moonwalk'
Get out the Green Epic Sauce
Drink it and then quickly drink the Moonwalk Potion.
You are now temporarily hovering.
1-9. Get Health Items.
If you ever get damaged, make sure you have a quick slight healing source and a healing potion. If you have VIP, regenerating a healing potion is very easy as it's on the top bar. Your quick healing source can be Beans or Bloxy Cola. You can also use the health glitch (it's kind of a cheat, so you shouldn't use it). There are a few ways to do it, but here is one:
Get the Knights of the Splintered Skies Wing Potion. Search 'knights' and click the blue potion.
Get the Dragonshead. Search for 'drag.'
Get out your potion.
Drink it and then quickly switch to the Dragonshead.
You are now invincible to any melee weapon and most other weapons.
1-10. Add a remote mine to your secret base.
Once the enemy tries to get inside your base, try to explode them at the right moment.
1-11. Get a RC Tank.
This is not needed, but let's say you're lazy. Find a good hiding spot or a safe spot, then summon a RC Tank. That thing is pretty resistant, but explosives are its weakness.
1-12. Use the Force Field potion.
(you have to buy it) Don't be afraid to use the Force Field potion when you really need to!
1-13. Try using some other useful/fun weapons.
They are as follows: Epicsauce, Merely's Sparkle Time Hoverboard, Bear Mine Gun, Snake Sniper, Seranok Golden Chalice of Fame, Conjurer's Fist, Zeus's Lightning Bolt, Freeze Ray, Astral Cloak of Transportation, Dual Plungers, Medusa Head, Arachnix Drone, Finger Laser, Fist of Schoolage, Gravity Gun, Forbidden Box, Tornado Staff, Wraith's Screech, and Orbital Piano.
Get an invisibility item. This will make assassinating people so easy. It is advised you also use some sort of item to immobilize your enemy such as the Earth Orb, as it causes your enemy to sit down each time they are shocked preventing them from running away (too quickly) or the Heartbreaker Sword which cuts their arms off stopping them from using weapons.
Tips
Your Force Field is very useful, so use it.
Explosives can kill you. The Exponential Rocket, however, doesn't. Because of that, if an enemy deploys AIs on you (zombies, "noobs", robot spiders, etc.) you can shoot yourself to get rid of them. The Exponential Rocket's explosion will not harm you.
You can use the Exponential Rocket during the brief period after you have been killed but before you have re-spawned. Use this to your advantage.
Warnings
Sometimes, enemy attacks can slow you down. If that's the case, either slash the enemy with the Outrageous Sword or flee.
Your hand could get stuck when you try to use the M1 Garand sometimes.
The Explosive Hand Glider and other similar gliders shoot you up very fast into the sky if you are falling fast. If you deploy early enough, you may be able to jump onto open spawn boxes. In other cases you die from too much height. Do not use gliders as a failsafe to falling out of the map.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Perform the Outrageous Sword speed trick (optional).\\nFirst, get the Outrageous Sword, then find the grey character (if you have VIP, he's in your closet), and slash and hack with the sword for 10-30 seconds. Do not go over or else you cannot control your self. You will find that you are now extremely fast.\\n1-2. Get a good melee weapon.\\nSome of the best melee weapons are the Skeleton King's Sword, and the Icedagger.\\n1-3. Get a good explosive.\\nThe best rocket for that is the Exponential Rocket.\\n1-4. Get one or more guardians.\\nSome suggestions are the Phoenix/Icy Arctic Fowl, Korblox Flying Oblivion Horn, Orinthian Falcon, Bald Eagle, and Ghost Minion. One tactic to win (it might not be as fun, but it works) is to just get all of these and use all of them at once.\\n1-5. Get a long ranged weapon (optional).\\nYou should get the M1 Garand with infinite ammo, 8 bullets in a clip (for some reason, you can't manually reload) and 30 damage. Performing a headshot is an instant kill. If you are more worried about killing a certain person, use the potato cannon. It won't give you a KO, but it's a very good long ranged weapon.\\n1-6. Get a good close range weapon (optional).\\nA good close range weapon is the Scatter Blaster and the Trench Warfare. The Trench Warfare is a powerful shotgun. If you are close enough, it's a two hit KO. A Scatterblaster is also deadly, but you can get hit by your own bullets since you are fast\\n1-7. Get a good Medium Range weapon (optional).\\nA good medium range weapon is the Sten gun, It's like a SMG, but it's much stronger. It wouldn't hurt to use the Luger Pistol too.\\n1-8. Get Some Flying Gear.\\nMake sure you have some flying gear, in case you fall. Pompous, Santa's Sleigh, Artemis Bow, Sinister Flying Carpet, and Golden Fleece are some good choices. Also, you can use the hover glitch (it's kind of a cheat, so you shouldn't use it)\\nGet the Green Epic Sauce. Search 'green' and click the green bottle.\\nGet the Moonwalk Potion. Search for 'moonwalk'\\nGet out the Green Epic Sauce\\nDrink it and then quickly drink the Moonwalk Potion.\\nYou are now temporarily hovering.\\n1-9. Get Health Items.\\nIf you ever get damaged, make sure you have a quick slight healing source and a healing potion. If you have VIP, regenerating a healing potion is very easy as it's on the top bar. Your quick healing source can be Beans or Bloxy Cola. You can also use the health glitch (it's kind of a cheat, so you shouldn't use it). There are a few ways to do it, but here is one:\\nGet the Knights of the Splintered Skies Wing Potion. Search 'knights' and click the blue potion.\\nGet the Dragonshead. Search for 'drag.'\\nGet out your potion.\\nDrink it and then quickly switch to the Dragonshead.\\nYou are now invincible to any melee weapon and most other weapons.\\n1-10. Add a remote mine to your secret base.\\nOnce the enemy tries to get inside your base, try to explode them at the right moment.\\n1-11. Get a RC Tank.\\nThis is not needed, but let's say you're lazy. Find a good hiding spot or a safe spot, then summon a RC Tank. That thing is pretty resistant, but explosives are its weakness.\\n1-12. Use the Force Field potion.\\n(you have to buy it) Don't be afraid to use the Force Field potion when you really need to!\\n1-13. Try using some other useful/fun weapons.\\nThey are as follows: Epicsauce, Merely's Sparkle Time Hoverboard, Bear Mine Gun, Snake Sniper, Seranok Golden Chalice of Fame, Conjurer's Fist, Zeus's Lightning Bolt, Freeze Ray, Astral Cloak of Transportation, Dual Plungers, Medusa Head, Arachnix Drone, Finger Laser, Fist of Schoolage, Gravity Gun, Forbidden Box, Tornado Staff, Wraith's Screech, and Orbital Piano.\\nGet an invisibility item. This will make assassinating people so easy. It is advised you also use some sort of item to immobilize your enemy such as the Earth Orb, as it causes your enemy to sit down each time they are shocked preventing them from running away (too quickly) or the Heartbreaker Sword which cuts their arms off stopping them from using weapons.\\nTips\\nYour Force Field is very useful, so use it.\\nExplosives can kill you. The Exponential Rocket, however, doesn't. Because of that, if an enemy deploys AIs on you (zombies, \\\"noobs\\\", robot spiders, etc.) you can shoot yourself to get rid of them. The Exponential Rocket's explosion will not harm you.\\nYou can use the Exponential Rocket during the brief period after you have been killed but before you have re-spawned. Use this to your advantage.\\nWarnings\\nSometimes, enemy attacks can slow you down. If that's the case, either slash the enemy with the Outrageous Sword or flee.\\nYour hand could get stuck when you try to use the M1 Garand sometimes.\\nThe Explosive Hand Glider and other similar gliders shoot you up very fast into the sky if you are falling fast. If you deploy early enough, you may be able to jump onto open spawn boxes. In other cases you die from too much height. Do not use gliders as a failsafe to falling out of the map.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you've been playing Catalog Heaven in Roblox, you might hate it when you keep on getting killed. This article will show you a few tricks which will make you more successful in the game.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Perform the Outrageous Sword speed trick (optional).\", \"描述\": \"First, get the Outrageous Sword, then find the grey character (if you have VIP, he's in your closet), and slash and hack with the sword for 10-30 seconds. Do not go over or else you cannot control your self. You will find that you are now extremely fast.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get a good melee weapon.\", \"描述\": \"Some of the best melee weapons are the Skeleton King's Sword, and the Icedagger.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get a good explosive.\", \"描述\": \"The best rocket for that is the Exponential Rocket.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get one or more guardians.\", \"描述\": \"Some suggestions are the Phoenix/Icy Arctic Fowl, Korblox Flying Oblivion Horn, Orinthian Falcon, Bald Eagle, and Ghost Minion. One tactic to win (it might not be as fun, but it works) is to just get all of these and use all of them at once.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get a long ranged weapon (optional).\", \"描述\": \"You should get the M1 Garand with infinite ammo, 8 bullets in a clip (for some reason, you can't manually reload) and 30 damage. Performing a headshot is an instant kill. If you are more worried about killing a certain person, use the potato cannon. It won't give you a KO, but it's a very good long ranged weapon.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get a good close range weapon (optional).\", \"描述\": \"A good close range weapon is the Scatter Blaster and the Trench Warfare. The Trench Warfare is a powerful shotgun. If you are close enough, it's a two hit KO. A Scatterblaster is also deadly, but you can get hit by your own bullets since you are fast\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get a good Medium Range weapon (optional).\", \"描述\": \"A good medium range weapon is the Sten gun, It's like a SMG, but it's much stronger. It wouldn't hurt to use the Luger Pistol too.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Get Some Flying Gear.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you have some flying gear, in case you fall. Pompous, Santa's Sleigh, Artemis Bow, Sinister Flying Carpet, and Golden Fleece are some good choices. Also, you can use the hover glitch (it's kind of a cheat, so you shouldn't use it)\\nGet the Green Epic Sauce. Search 'green' and click the green bottle.\\nGet the Moonwalk Potion. Search for 'moonwalk'\\nGet out the Green Epic Sauce\\nDrink it and then quickly drink the Moonwalk Potion.\\nYou are now temporarily hovering.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Get Health Items.\", \"描述\": \"If you ever get damaged, make sure you have a quick slight healing source and a healing potion. If you have VIP, regenerating a healing potion is very easy as it's on the top bar. Your quick healing source can be Beans or Bloxy Cola. You can also use the health glitch (it's kind of a cheat, so you shouldn't use it). There are a few ways to do it, but here is one:\\nGet the Knights of the Splintered Skies Wing Potion. Search 'knights' and click the blue potion.\\nGet the Dragonshead. Search for 'drag.'\\nGet out your potion.\\nDrink it and then quickly switch to the Dragonshead.\\nYou are now invincible to any melee weapon and most other weapons.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Add a remote mine to your secret base.\", \"描述\": \"Once the enemy tries to get inside your base, try to explode them at the right moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Get a RC Tank.\", \"描述\": \"This is not needed, but let's say you're lazy. Find a good hiding spot or a safe spot, then summon a RC Tank. That thing is pretty resistant, but explosives are its weakness.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Use the Force Field potion.\", \"描述\": \"(you have to buy it) Don't be afraid to use the Force Field potion when you really need to!\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Try using some other useful/fun weapons.\", \"描述\": \"They are as follows: Epicsauce, Merely's Sparkle Time Hoverboard, Bear Mine Gun, Snake Sniper, Seranok Golden Chalice of Fame, Conjurer's Fist, Zeus's Lightning Bolt, Freeze Ray, Astral Cloak of Transportation, Dual Plungers, Medusa Head, Arachnix Drone, Finger Laser, Fist of Schoolage, Gravity Gun, Forbidden Box, Tornado Staff, Wraith's Screech, and Orbital Piano.\\nGet an invisibility item. This will make assassinating people so easy. It is advised you also use some sort of item to immobilize your enemy such as the Earth Orb, as it causes your enemy to sit down each time they are shocked preventing them from running away (too quickly) or the Heartbreaker Sword which cuts their arms off stopping them from using weapons.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Your Force Field is very useful, so use it.\\n\", \"Explosives can kill you. The Exponential Rocket, however, doesn't. Because of that, if an enemy deploys AIs on you (zombies, \\\"noobs\\\", robot spiders, etc.) you can shoot yourself to get rid of them. The Exponential Rocket's explosion will not harm you.\\n\", \"You can use the Exponential Rocket during the brief period after you have been killed but before you have re-spawned. Use this to your advantage.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Sometimes, enemy attacks can slow you down. If that's the case, either slash the enemy with the Outrageous Sword or flee.\\n\", \"Your hand could get stuck when you try to use the M1 Garand sometimes.\\n\", \"The Explosive Hand Glider and other similar gliders shoot you up very fast into the sky if you are falling fast. If you deploy early enough, you may be able to jump onto open spawn boxes. In other cases you die from too much height. Do not use gliders as a failsafe to falling out of the map.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,202 | How to Be Successful in Life | 1. Developing a Path to Success
1-1. Live purposefully.
In order to achieve your dreams and be the person you want to be, you will have to start paying attention to your actions. Ask yourself, "Is what I'm doing going to lead me to where I want to be in life?"
If you find yourself constantly bored, daydreaming about the future or past or counting down the minutes until the day ends, it is probably because you feel disconnected from what you're doing.
Cherish your time. Try to spend your free time doing things that you enjoy doing, rather than wasting time. For example, rather than spending your weekends watching television, spend them partaking in your hobbies or spending time with loved ones and new friends.
Measure your productivity by engagement, not achievement. Not everything you do has to be productive in the conventional sense, but activities should be engaging and enjoyable.
Keep in mind that it is perfectly fine to spend some time doing nothing and just being lazy each day. This can actually help with your imagination and self-awareness. Strive for a balance between doing things you want to do and allowing yourself to just “be.”
1-2. Identify your passions.
Before you can achieve success, you will have to define what success means to you — and no one else can do that for you. While it may take years to realize what you want to do with your life, identifying your passions, interests, and values will help you set goals and give your life a sense of meaning. If you have trouble identifying these things, then ask a friend or family member to help you. Ask yourself the following questions:
What do you want your legacy to be?
How would you like to be remembered by others?
How do you want to make your community a better place?
What are some favorite subjects of interest in your life? For example, think of subjects you enjoyed studying in school. Ask why you liked them.
For instance, you may have loved musical theater. Think: was it because you loved the music, or was it because you loved working with a big group towards a common goal?
1-3. Make a list of your goals, and what you might do to achieve them.
Be sure to address both short-term and long-term goals; try to think beyond financial and career goals, such as relationship goals, personal goals for bettering yourself, things you would like to experience, or things you want to learn. Draw up a timeline that says when you want to achieve each part.
Set SMART goals; goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
Break big goals down. For instance, if your goal is to see the world, you can set the goal of saving money and visiting certain countries.
1-4. Stick to your commitments.
Planning is not sufficient; keeping your word is also important. If you tell someone you will do something, do it. Similarly, don't tell someone you will do something if you're not sure you can. Be honest about your limits.
Avoid canceling plans, and try not to cancel twice on the same person.
Make commitments to yourself, and stick to them. Write down your commitments and hang them in places you can see.
Make sure that your commitments are gradually moving you towards your goals. Review your goals now and then to make sure you are moving in the right direction.
2. Achieving External Success
2-1. Be educated.
Education gives you the knowledge, skills, and credibility to achieve your maximum potential. In terms of financial success, statistics have shown that the more education you have (i.e. the higher degree you achieve), the more money you are likely to make.
In 2011, the median weekly earnings for high school graduates was $638 while those with bachelor's degrees made $1053. That same year, those with masters or doctoral degrees made $1263 and $1551 respectively.
Not all education has to be formal. Apprenticeships and long-term training programs are also positively correlated with higher incomes. Obtaining a Certificate in your field can help to increase your salary.
Educate yourself for pleasure as well. The more you know about the world you live in, the more questions you will have and the more interested you will be.
2-2. Manage your finances.
Learning how to manage your money will help ensure your financial stability over time, regardless of your income.
Keep track of your expenses. Subtract your monthly expenses from your monthly income to determine how much spending money you have available each month. Also, review your bank statements often and notice where you spend your money. This will help you prevent overspending and ensure that your bank statements are correct.
Understand your income. When calculating your income, be sure to take into account the federal, state, and social security taxes that will be deducted from your gross pay. Don't overlook miscellaneous deductions, such as health insurance premiums, savings bonds and loan payments. The resulting number is your net pay, which is what you end up taking home with you.
Cut back. If you are not earning enough money to cover your net expenses, then look into your expenses to see where you might be able to cut back.
Save money. Every month, you should deposit some of your money into a savings account. Consider asking your employer to directly deposit a portion of your income into your savings account.
Invest cautiously. If your workplace offers a retirement savings plan, put your excess incomes in that.
2-3. Manage your time.
Putting off important tasks until the last minute can cause you unnecessary stress, and increase the likelihood of errors and negligence. Manage your time so that you have enough time to complete tasks effectively.
Use a planner to help keep you organized throughout the day, week, and month.
Set reminders on your smart phone and make use of its electronic timer for better time management.
Make a list of all the things you need to do in a given day, and check off each task as you complete it. This will help you stay organized and motivated.
3. Achieving Internal Success
3-1. Enjoy the present moment.
If you are constantly dwelling on the past or daydreaming about the future, you are missing out on the present moment. Remember that the past and the future are simply illusions, and that real life takes place here and now.
Start paying attention to negative thoughts so that you can move on from them and enjoy the present moment. If a negative thought arises in your head, then acknowledge it, label it a negative thought, and then let it fade away. Regular meditation or mindfulness exercises can help to make this feel more natural for you.
Get in the habit of paying attention to small details around you. Appreciate the feeling of the sun on your skin, the sensation of your feet walking on the ground, or the artwork in the restaurant you are eating in. Noticing things like these will help you silence a rambling mind and appreciate every moment.
3-2. Don't compare your own life to other peoples' lives.
Unfortunately, many people measure their own success by comparing it to the success of those around them. If you want to feel accomplished and happy, you will have to value your life for its own sake.
Many people have the tendency to compare the low points of their own lives with the high points of other peoples' lives. Remember that no matter how perfect somebody's life may seem, behind closed doors everybody deals with tragedy, insecurity, and other difficulties. Pay attention to and limit your use of social media to help you remember this.
Rather than comparing yourself with people who are "better off" than you, think about all of the people who are homeless, chronically ill, or living in poverty. This will help you appreciate what you have rather than feeling sorry for yourself. Try engaging in volunteer work to help make this more apparent. This can help to boost your happiness and confidence as well.
3-3. Count your blessings.
No matter how much you achieve in life, you will always feel unhappy if you constantly focus on what you don't have. Instead, devote time every day to appreciating the things you do have. Think beyond material items; appreciate your loved ones, and cherish happy memories.
This is also important when thinking about the future. Instead of fearing what might happen, try to be excited for the new experiences you will have.
4. Cultivating Success in Every Aspect of Your Life
4-1. Look after your health
A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Eat a balanced diet and ensure that you aren't lacking in any necessary nutrients. Establish the cause of any problems you may experience, such as a lack of energy or a lack of concentration and deal with them by discussing with a doctor, nutritionist and related health professionals. Get plenty of exercise too but make your fitness choices according to what you enjoy.
4-2. Follow up on opportunities.
If you have a chance to shine, take it. If you are worried you won't have time and energy for a good opportunity, ask yourself: would this contribute to my end goals? If it would, then get rid of other commitments in order to pursue this opportunity.
Remember, some chances only come around once. You can't bank them.
This doesn't mean you should throw away all your savings or get rid of your safety net. It just means you should say yes when you are given an offer to move ahead.
4-3. Surround yourself with positive people.
Make friends with people you admire for various reasons: because they are happy, kind, generous, successful at work, or successful in other ways. Join forces with those who have achieved things you want to achieve, or who are on their way to a common goal. Don't let jealousy get in your way: nobody's success is a threat to yours.
When making friends with someone, ask yourself if the person makes you feel motivated, positive, and confident, or if they make you feel tired, overwhelmed, or incompetent. Choose to spend time with the positive people, not the ones sucking your energy.
If you have friends or family members who always make you feel bad about yourself, limit the time you spend with them. Also, make sure to identify relationships that are not helping you to move towards your goals, that stress you out, or that require too much of your time and energy without being reciprocal.
Look for mentors among the people you admire. If you think you could learn from someone, ask for their advice.
4-4. Set boundaries with others
Advocate for your own needs. Be caring towards others, but don't accept abuse from anyone. Remember, being a good person does not mean you have to take violent or disrespectful language or actions from anyone.
Respect the boundaries others set for you, too. Listen to your loved ones when they tell you they need space, or want to do something alone.
Tips
Keep yourself inspired by anything that inspires you: music, photography, fashion, current events, etc. Nothing else ignites a flame in you like a great source of inspiration.
Having positive role models in your life can help keep you motivated and lead you in the right direction. Your role model may or may not be somebody you know personally. Learn about your role model's life story and try to adopt their work ethic.
Warnings
Never get jealous about others achievements. Rather work hard to reach your personal greatest heights.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing a Path to Success\\n1-1. Live purposefully.\\nIn order to achieve your dreams and be the person you want to be, you will have to start paying attention to your actions. Ask yourself, \\\"Is what I'm doing going to lead me to where I want to be in life?\\\"\\nIf you find yourself constantly bored, daydreaming about the future or past or counting down the minutes until the day ends, it is probably because you feel disconnected from what you're doing.\\nCherish your time. Try to spend your free time doing things that you enjoy doing, rather than wasting time. For example, rather than spending your weekends watching television, spend them partaking in your hobbies or spending time with loved ones and new friends.\\nMeasure your productivity by engagement, not achievement. Not everything you do has to be productive in the conventional sense, but activities should be engaging and enjoyable.\\nKeep in mind that it is perfectly fine to spend some time doing nothing and just being lazy each day. This can actually help with your imagination and self-awareness. Strive for a balance between doing things you want to do and allowing yourself to just “be.”\\n1-2. Identify your passions.\\nBefore you can achieve success, you will have to define what success means to you — and no one else can do that for you. While it may take years to realize what you want to do with your life, identifying your passions, interests, and values will help you set goals and give your life a sense of meaning. If you have trouble identifying these things, then ask a friend or family member to help you. Ask yourself the following questions:\\nWhat do you want your legacy to be?\\nHow would you like to be remembered by others?\\nHow do you want to make your community a better place?\\nWhat are some favorite subjects of interest in your life? For example, think of subjects you enjoyed studying in school. Ask why you liked them.\\nFor instance, you may have loved musical theater. Think: was it because you loved the music, or was it because you loved working with a big group towards a common goal?\\n1-3. Make a list of your goals, and what you might do to achieve them.\\nBe sure to address both short-term and long-term goals; try to think beyond financial and career goals, such as relationship goals, personal goals for bettering yourself, things you would like to experience, or things you want to learn. Draw up a timeline that says when you want to achieve each part. \\n\\nSet SMART goals; goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.\\nBreak big goals down. For instance, if your goal is to see the world, you can set the goal of saving money and visiting certain countries.\\n1-4. Stick to your commitments.\\nPlanning is not sufficient; keeping your word is also important. If you tell someone you will do something, do it. Similarly, don't tell someone you will do something if you're not sure you can. Be honest about your limits.\\nAvoid canceling plans, and try not to cancel twice on the same person.\\nMake commitments to yourself, and stick to them. Write down your commitments and hang them in places you can see.\\nMake sure that your commitments are gradually moving you towards your goals. Review your goals now and then to make sure you are moving in the right direction.\\n2. Achieving External Success\\n2-1. Be educated.\\nEducation gives you the knowledge, skills, and credibility to achieve your maximum potential. In terms of financial success, statistics have shown that the more education you have (i.e. the higher degree you achieve), the more money you are likely to make.\\nIn 2011, the median weekly earnings for high school graduates was $638 while those with bachelor's degrees made $1053. That same year, those with masters or doctoral degrees made $1263 and $1551 respectively.\\nNot all education has to be formal. Apprenticeships and long-term training programs are also positively correlated with higher incomes. Obtaining a Certificate in your field can help to increase your salary.\\nEducate yourself for pleasure as well. The more you know about the world you live in, the more questions you will have and the more interested you will be.\\n2-2. Manage your finances.\\nLearning how to manage your money will help ensure your financial stability over time, regardless of your income.\\nKeep track of your expenses. Subtract your monthly expenses from your monthly income to determine how much spending money you have available each month. Also, review your bank statements often and notice where you spend your money. This will help you prevent overspending and ensure that your bank statements are correct.\\nUnderstand your income. When calculating your income, be sure to take into account the federal, state, and social security taxes that will be deducted from your gross pay. Don't overlook miscellaneous deductions, such as health insurance premiums, savings bonds and loan payments. The resulting number is your net pay, which is what you end up taking home with you.\\nCut back. If you are not earning enough money to cover your net expenses, then look into your expenses to see where you might be able to cut back.\\nSave money. Every month, you should deposit some of your money into a savings account. Consider asking your employer to directly deposit a portion of your income into your savings account.\\nInvest cautiously. If your workplace offers a retirement savings plan, put your excess incomes in that.\\n2-3. Manage your time.\\nPutting off important tasks until the last minute can cause you unnecessary stress, and increase the likelihood of errors and negligence. Manage your time so that you have enough time to complete tasks effectively.\\nUse a planner to help keep you organized throughout the day, week, and month.\\nSet reminders on your smart phone and make use of its electronic timer for better time management.\\nMake a list of all the things you need to do in a given day, and check off each task as you complete it. This will help you stay organized and motivated.\\n3. Achieving Internal Success\\n3-1. Enjoy the present moment.\\nIf you are constantly dwelling on the past or daydreaming about the future, you are missing out on the present moment. Remember that the past and the future are simply illusions, and that real life takes place here and now.\\nStart paying attention to negative thoughts so that you can move on from them and enjoy the present moment. If a negative thought arises in your head, then acknowledge it, label it a negative thought, and then let it fade away. Regular meditation or mindfulness exercises can help to make this feel more natural for you.\\nGet in the habit of paying attention to small details around you. Appreciate the feeling of the sun on your skin, the sensation of your feet walking on the ground, or the artwork in the restaurant you are eating in. Noticing things like these will help you silence a rambling mind and appreciate every moment.\\n3-2. Don't compare your own life to other peoples' lives.\\nUnfortunately, many people measure their own success by comparing it to the success of those around them. If you want to feel accomplished and happy, you will have to value your life for its own sake.\\nMany people have the tendency to compare the low points of their own lives with the high points of other peoples' lives. Remember that no matter how perfect somebody's life may seem, behind closed doors everybody deals with tragedy, insecurity, and other difficulties. Pay attention to and limit your use of social media to help you remember this.\\nRather than comparing yourself with people who are \\\"better off\\\" than you, think about all of the people who are homeless, chronically ill, or living in poverty. This will help you appreciate what you have rather than feeling sorry for yourself. Try engaging in volunteer work to help make this more apparent. This can help to boost your happiness and confidence as well.\\n3-3. Count your blessings.\\nNo matter how much you achieve in life, you will always feel unhappy if you constantly focus on what you don't have. Instead, devote time every day to appreciating the things you do have. Think beyond material items; appreciate your loved ones, and cherish happy memories.\\nThis is also important when thinking about the future. Instead of fearing what might happen, try to be excited for the new experiences you will have.\\n4. Cultivating Success in Every Aspect of Your Life\\n4-1. Look after your health\\nA healthy body supports a healthy mind. Eat a balanced diet and ensure that you aren't lacking in any necessary nutrients. Establish the cause of any problems you may experience, such as a lack of energy or a lack of concentration and deal with them by discussing with a doctor, nutritionist and related health professionals. Get plenty of exercise too but make your fitness choices according to what you enjoy.\\n4-2. Follow up on opportunities.\\nIf you have a chance to shine, take it. If you are worried you won't have time and energy for a good opportunity, ask yourself: would this contribute to my end goals? If it would, then get rid of other commitments in order to pursue this opportunity.\\nRemember, some chances only come around once. You can't bank them.\\nThis doesn't mean you should throw away all your savings or get rid of your safety net. It just means you should say yes when you are given an offer to move ahead.\\n4-3. Surround yourself with positive people.\\nMake friends with people you admire for various reasons: because they are happy, kind, generous, successful at work, or successful in other ways. Join forces with those who have achieved things you want to achieve, or who are on their way to a common goal. Don't let jealousy get in your way: nobody's success is a threat to yours.\\nWhen making friends with someone, ask yourself if the person makes you feel motivated, positive, and confident, or if they make you feel tired, overwhelmed, or incompetent. Choose to spend time with the positive people, not the ones sucking your energy.\\nIf you have friends or family members who always make you feel bad about yourself, limit the time you spend with them. Also, make sure to identify relationships that are not helping you to move towards your goals, that stress you out, or that require too much of your time and energy without being reciprocal.\\nLook for mentors among the people you admire. If you think you could learn from someone, ask for their advice.\\n4-4. Set boundaries with others\\nAdvocate for your own needs. Be caring towards others, but don't accept abuse from anyone. Remember, being a good person does not mean you have to take violent or disrespectful language or actions from anyone.\\nRespect the boundaries others set for you, too. Listen to your loved ones when they tell you they need space, or want to do something alone.\\nTips\\nKeep yourself inspired by anything that inspires you: music, photography, fashion, current events, etc. Nothing else ignites a flame in you like a great source of inspiration.\\nHaving positive role models in your life can help keep you motivated and lead you in the right direction. Your role model may or may not be somebody you know personally. Learn about your role model's life story and try to adopt their work ethic.\\nWarnings\\nNever get jealous about others achievements. Rather work hard to reach your personal greatest heights.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Regardless of how old you are, where you live, or what your career goals are, it's likely your ultimate goals in life are to be happy and successful. To be successful means more than just having money and making your mark. It means following your passions, living purposefully, and enjoying the present moment.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing a Path to Success\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Live purposefully.\", \"描述\": \"In order to achieve your dreams and be the person you want to be, you will have to start paying attention to your actions. Ask yourself, \\\"Is what I'm doing going to lead me to where I want to be in life?\\\"\\nIf you find yourself constantly bored, daydreaming about the future or past or counting down the minutes until the day ends, it is probably because you feel disconnected from what you're doing.\\nCherish your time. Try to spend your free time doing things that you enjoy doing, rather than wasting time. For example, rather than spending your weekends watching television, spend them partaking in your hobbies or spending time with loved ones and new friends.\\nMeasure your productivity by engagement, not achievement. Not everything you do has to be productive in the conventional sense, but activities should be engaging and enjoyable.\\nKeep in mind that it is perfectly fine to spend some time doing nothing and just being lazy each day. This can actually help with your imagination and self-awareness. Strive for a balance between doing things you want to do and allowing yourself to just “be.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Identify your passions.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can achieve success, you will have to define what success means to you — and no one else can do that for you. While it may take years to realize what you want to do with your life, identifying your passions, interests, and values will help you set goals and give your life a sense of meaning. If you have trouble identifying these things, then ask a friend or family member to help you. Ask yourself the following questions:\\nWhat do you want your legacy to be?\\nHow would you like to be remembered by others?\\nHow do you want to make your community a better place?\\nWhat are some favorite subjects of interest in your life? For example, think of subjects you enjoyed studying in school. Ask why you liked them.\\nFor instance, you may have loved musical theater. Think: was it because you loved the music, or was it because you loved working with a big group towards a common goal?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a list of your goals, and what you might do to achieve them.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to address both short-term and long-term goals; try to think beyond financial and career goals, such as relationship goals, personal goals for bettering yourself, things you would like to experience, or things you want to learn. Draw up a timeline that says when you want to achieve each part. \\n\\nSet SMART goals; goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.\\nBreak big goals down. For instance, if your goal is to see the world, you can set the goal of saving money and visiting certain countries.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stick to your commitments.\", \"描述\": \"Planning is not sufficient; keeping your word is also important. If you tell someone you will do something, do it. Similarly, don't tell someone you will do something if you're not sure you can. Be honest about your limits.\\nAvoid canceling plans, and try not to cancel twice on the same person.\\nMake commitments to yourself, and stick to them. Write down your commitments and hang them in places you can see.\\nMake sure that your commitments are gradually moving you towards your goals. Review your goals now and then to make sure you are moving in the right direction.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Achieving External Success\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be educated.\", \"描述\": \"Education gives you the knowledge, skills, and credibility to achieve your maximum potential. In terms of financial success, statistics have shown that the more education you have (i.e. the higher degree you achieve), the more money you are likely to make.\\nIn 2011, the median weekly earnings for high school graduates was $638 while those with bachelor's degrees made $1053. That same year, those with masters or doctoral degrees made $1263 and $1551 respectively.\\nNot all education has to be formal. Apprenticeships and long-term training programs are also positively correlated with higher incomes. Obtaining a Certificate in your field can help to increase your salary.\\nEducate yourself for pleasure as well. The more you know about the world you live in, the more questions you will have and the more interested you will be.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Manage your finances.\", \"描述\": \"Learning how to manage your money will help ensure your financial stability over time, regardless of your income.\\nKeep track of your expenses. Subtract your monthly expenses from your monthly income to determine how much spending money you have available each month. Also, review your bank statements often and notice where you spend your money. This will help you prevent overspending and ensure that your bank statements are correct.\\nUnderstand your income. When calculating your income, be sure to take into account the federal, state, and social security taxes that will be deducted from your gross pay. Don't overlook miscellaneous deductions, such as health insurance premiums, savings bonds and loan payments. The resulting number is your net pay, which is what you end up taking home with you.\\nCut back. If you are not earning enough money to cover your net expenses, then look into your expenses to see where you might be able to cut back.\\nSave money. Every month, you should deposit some of your money into a savings account. Consider asking your employer to directly deposit a portion of your income into your savings account.\\nInvest cautiously. If your workplace offers a retirement savings plan, put your excess incomes in that.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Manage your time.\", \"描述\": \"Putting off important tasks until the last minute can cause you unnecessary stress, and increase the likelihood of errors and negligence. Manage your time so that you have enough time to complete tasks effectively.\\nUse a planner to help keep you organized throughout the day, week, and month.\\nSet reminders on your smart phone and make use of its electronic timer for better time management.\\nMake a list of all the things you need to do in a given day, and check off each task as you complete it. This will help you stay organized and motivated.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Achieving Internal Success\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the present moment.\", \"描述\": \"If you are constantly dwelling on the past or daydreaming about the future, you are missing out on the present moment. Remember that the past and the future are simply illusions, and that real life takes place here and now.\\nStart paying attention to negative thoughts so that you can move on from them and enjoy the present moment. If a negative thought arises in your head, then acknowledge it, label it a negative thought, and then let it fade away. Regular meditation or mindfulness exercises can help to make this feel more natural for you.\\nGet in the habit of paying attention to small details around you. Appreciate the feeling of the sun on your skin, the sensation of your feet walking on the ground, or the artwork in the restaurant you are eating in. Noticing things like these will help you silence a rambling mind and appreciate every moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't compare your own life to other peoples' lives.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, many people measure their own success by comparing it to the success of those around them. If you want to feel accomplished and happy, you will have to value your life for its own sake.\\nMany people have the tendency to compare the low points of their own lives with the high points of other peoples' lives. Remember that no matter how perfect somebody's life may seem, behind closed doors everybody deals with tragedy, insecurity, and other difficulties. Pay attention to and limit your use of social media to help you remember this.\\nRather than comparing yourself with people who are \\\"better off\\\" than you, think about all of the people who are homeless, chronically ill, or living in poverty. This will help you appreciate what you have rather than feeling sorry for yourself. Try engaging in volunteer work to help make this more apparent. This can help to boost your happiness and confidence as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Count your blessings.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how much you achieve in life, you will always feel unhappy if you constantly focus on what you don't have. Instead, devote time every day to appreciating the things you do have. Think beyond material items; appreciate your loved ones, and cherish happy memories.\\nThis is also important when thinking about the future. Instead of fearing what might happen, try to be excited for the new experiences you will have.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Cultivating Success in Every Aspect of Your Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look after your health\", \"描述\": \"A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Eat a balanced diet and ensure that you aren't lacking in any necessary nutrients. Establish the cause of any problems you may experience, such as a lack of energy or a lack of concentration and deal with them by discussing with a doctor, nutritionist and related health professionals. Get plenty of exercise too but make your fitness choices according to what you enjoy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow up on opportunities.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a chance to shine, take it. If you are worried you won't have time and energy for a good opportunity, ask yourself: would this contribute to my end goals? If it would, then get rid of other commitments in order to pursue this opportunity.\\nRemember, some chances only come around once. You can't bank them.\\nThis doesn't mean you should throw away all your savings or get rid of your safety net. It just means you should say yes when you are given an offer to move ahead.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with positive people.\", \"描述\": \"Make friends with people you admire for various reasons: because they are happy, kind, generous, successful at work, or successful in other ways. Join forces with those who have achieved things you want to achieve, or who are on their way to a common goal. Don't let jealousy get in your way: nobody's success is a threat to yours.\\nWhen making friends with someone, ask yourself if the person makes you feel motivated, positive, and confident, or if they make you feel tired, overwhelmed, or incompetent. Choose to spend time with the positive people, not the ones sucking your energy.\\nIf you have friends or family members who always make you feel bad about yourself, limit the time you spend with them. Also, make sure to identify relationships that are not helping you to move towards your goals, that stress you out, or that require too much of your time and energy without being reciprocal.\\nLook for mentors among the people you admire. If you think you could learn from someone, ask for their advice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries with others\", \"描述\": \"Advocate for your own needs. Be caring towards others, but don't accept abuse from anyone. Remember, being a good person does not mean you have to take violent or disrespectful language or actions from anyone.\\nRespect the boundaries others set for you, too. Listen to your loved ones when they tell you they need space, or want to do something alone.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Keep yourself inspired by anything that inspires you: music, photography, fashion, current events, etc. Nothing else ignites a flame in you like a great source of inspiration.\\n\", \"Having positive role models in your life can help keep you motivated and lead you in the right direction. Your role model may or may not be somebody you know personally. Learn about your role model's life story and try to adopt their work ethic.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never get jealous about others achievements. Rather work hard to reach your personal greatest heights.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,203 | How to Be Successful in Middle School | 1. Preparing to Start Middle School
1-1. Expect it to be different.
Your first day of middle school will be, in some respects, like your first day of kindergarten: new places, new faces, new things to do and new ways to do them. Even if your buddies from elementary school are still around, things will still feel different. Chances are, you will make new friends and they will too. Go into it with an open mind. Embrace the chance to try things in a new way. You adapted well to school once (if you can remember that) so you can certainly do it again.
People you’ve known for years may start to seem different to you. You may start to seem different to them as well. This is a natural part of growing up.
1-2. Define success for yourself.
Is it academic achievement, or is success for you based on being a good person? Perhaps, ideally, it should be a combination of both of these. The best judge of whether or not you are a success in middle school is you. But you have to know and establish your own criteria. A good thing to do is to get advice from an older sibling or friend who has already experienced the challenges of being a middle schooler.
Your parents will have their own ideas of what success means for you. This, of course, is important as well. Talk with your parents about your goals for middle school and how you can work together to achieve them. Remember: you may disagree with your parents' priorities, but if you remain calm and not throw a big temper tantrum if you don't happen to get your way, you'll leave the door of communication open, giving you and your parents a chance to come to some type of mutual agreement. Working together often leads to a reasonable compromise in which both sides are still happy and talking to one another! After all, communication is the key!
1-3. Prepare for awkward situations.
The middle school years are always a time of awkwardness. You are growing, your body is changing, and your interests are evolving. Yes, you’ll get pimples, trip over your own feet, feel embarrassed to get changed in the locker room, get rejected by that boy or girl you like, and so on. Don't worry: it happens or has happened to all of us. A good thing to do is to imagine yourself in other people's shoes and try to imagine how you would feel in their situation. It's also helpful to realize that no one is analyzing everything you do. So chances are, if you have one of those days where everything goes horribly and terribly wrong, it's probably not going to be the talking point of the whole school for 5 years after. So just take a deep breath...and relax.
1-4. Be true to yourself.
The pressure to conform (or to be like everyone else) grows as you become a teenager. Don’t let peer pressure dictate who you are or what you want to achieve. Although, if it does, don't freak out. It's ok to fit in a little bit despite what all the books say. Do what is right for and what you’re interested in.
Stick up for what you believe in and what you know is right. For instance, turn in someone who is bullying you or other kids. If this costs you a childhood friend, don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to make new, better friends in middle school.
2. Getting Organized
2-1. Learn your locker combination.
Having a locker can be a big change. You need to learn your locker combination and remember it. You don't want to end up being late to class all the time because you struggle to get your locker open. Write down your locker combination in a folder or on your phone if you are allowed to keep it with you. This way you will always have the combination, even if your forget it.
2-2. Use a student planner.
A student planner is a calendar you can use to write down when assignments are due, when you have soccer or choir practice, or when you have sleepovers with friends, for example. Teenagers may not have the reputation for being the neatest, most organized bunch, but you can work to keep yourself and your school materials in order. Doing so will increase your ability to be successful in school.
Keep track of your schedule and look at your planner every day. Writing in it after every class can be a good way to start the habit.
Make sure you know when your tests are coming up and when big assignments are going to be due. It is your responsibility to make sure you have your work done on time and are prepared for any exams. Your middle school teachers will expect you to.
2-3. Use a separate binder or notebook for each subject.
Have one notebook for each of your classes. You may even want to color-code them so you know that the blue notebook is for History and the red notebook is for Algebra.
Keep these binders organized. Use dividers to separate notes from assignments. The less time it takes you to find your notes, homework, and study guides, the more time you have to actually get things done.
2-4. Organize your locker.
Go ahead and decorate your locker to show off your personality. Make sure that the things you put in your locker are practical. The biggest mistake is to make your locker an extension of the locker decorations store. Definitely make sure to organize it so you can be in and out of it quickly. You don’t want to have things spilling out of it every time you open it. You should be able to find any assignments or materials that you need for class quickly so you can make it to class on time. Regularly clear out old papers so that you don't have more in your locker than what you actually need.
2-5. Have a dedicated homework space at home.
Carve out a place for yourself at home to do your homework. This will ideally be a desk with a chair and computer or laptop.This will give you a study environment and helps you to set the mood for studying. Keep the desk clear so that you can easily sit down and do your homework every day after school.
Store all your school supplies in one place so that you’re not hunting all over the house for the pencil sharpener.
2-6. If you want to, have a family meeting every week.
Talk to your parents on Sunday afternoon to see what the week looks like. Use this time to remind your parents about your upcoming game or concert. You might also use this time to find out which nights you might have to help out with dinner, etc.
2-7. Keep a copy of your schedule on you all the time.
You will eventually learn your way around your middle school, but it's important to keep a copy of your schedule on you until you master your daily routine. Middle schools are often larger that elementary school and following your schedule can be confusing at first.
3. Achieving Academic Success
3-1. Attend school.
It sounds obvious, but it’s a key part of being successful in middle school. Studies show that good grades and consistent attendance in middle school are indicators of future academic success in high school and college. Get to school on time and don’t skip classes.
If you need to be out of school, make sure you talk with your teacher about the material you missed. While you're gone, email him or her and check their website if they have one for assignments. Catch up on your homework as soon as possible.
3-2. Learn how to take good notes.
Whether you had to do it in elementary school or not, the amount of note-taking you will need to do in middle school will be a new experience. Good note-taking doesn’t mean furiously writing down everything the teacher says. Instead, try these strategies to take good notes:
Keep your notes organized by starting a new sheet every day. Put the date and the title of what you're learning at the top of the page.
Listen for audio cues from your teacher. He/she will tend to vocally emphasize what is most important.
Don’t worry about writing whole sentences. Instead, develop your own shorthand and shortcuts. Remember, no one has to be able to read it but you, so go ahead a write a squiggle every time your teacher says "Mitosis". It's okay as long as you understand it.
Review your notes each day when you’re doing your homework. Rewrite your notes more neatly and fully. This will also help the information stick in your brain better.
3-3. Learn how to study.
Like note-taking, the amount of studying required in middle school will likely be a surprise. Good study skills do not mean simply memorizing the textbook chapter. Here are some ideas for studying successfully:
Learn to identify the most important concepts. Highlight key names, themes, etc., in your notes and put sticky notes in your textbook to mark key passages.
Rewrite your notes so that you can organize the information and make your writing neat and easy to follow.
Create study aids such as flash cards, diagrams, and so on.
Find a study buddy. This is ideally someone who has a good grasp on the material. Working together may help you see things from a different angle. Work hard to stay focused on studying. Talk about music or football another time.
3-4. Develop good test-taking skills.
Tests may be more complicated and you’ll be responsible for knowing more material. To take tests successfully, follow some of these strategies:
Listen to instructions that your teacher gives you. Read all the directions on the test.
Pace yourself. Be sure to leave yourself enough time to finish the entire test. Don’t keep looking at the clock, since that might stress you out more. But gauge how long it might take you to answer questions in each section of the test. If a question stumps you, come back to it later.
Double-check all of your answers.
Reduce anxiety you might feel about taking tests. When you are more prepared and understand the material, your anxiety will lessen. Take deep breaths before the exam and repeat to yourself, “I will do well on this test.”
3-5. Do your homework right away.
There are more demands on your time in middle school. You’ll have more classes, more homework, more tests, and more extracurricular activities. Improving your time management skills is key. Make your schoolwork a top priority, so that you get it done on time.
Try to complete all your homework as soon as you arrive home from school. Do this before distractions and responsibilities take over. If you have to attend to other things as soon as school is over, block out a specific time each evening for homework completion.
Keep limits on your “screen time.” This includes your phone, TV, computer, etc. Don’t play computer games or text with your friends until your homework is done, for example.
Take responsibility for your own learning and homework. Don’t copy your friend’s homework.
If you’re having trouble keeping up in a class, talk to your teacher sooner rather than later. Don’t wait until you’ve fallen hopelessly behind.
3-6. Ask for help when you need it.
As you get older, more of the responsibility for your academic success rests on your own shoulders. But this doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. There are many different people who want to help you, so let them.
If you’re having trouble with pre-algebra or early American history, for instance, talk to your teachers about additional resources that might help. Your teachers may even be able to suggest tutoring options.
3-7. Admit when you’ve made a mistake.
If you haven’t done your homework, don’t lie to your teacher. Instead, tell your teacher that you will work on it tonight and hand it in tomorrow. Your teacher will appreciate that you’re taking responsibility.
Don’t cheat on tests or copy other people’s homework. If you do and you get caught, don’t try to lie your way out of it. Tell the truth.
3-8. Do your homework.
You will typically get 1-2 hours of homework each day in middle school. Do your homework first while the instructions or lessons are fresh in your mind. Always do your assignments before going out to play or watching television.
3-9. Go to every class.
Be on time. Teachers will keep track of your attendance and whether or not you were at the class on time, or not. If you are late or absent without being excused, it can negatively affect your grades.
3-10. Take good notes.
Learn and use a good note taking strategy. Write down key points from your class lectures and discussions. Listen for indications from your teacher when information is likely to appear on your future quizzes or exams. You can review your notes at home to quickly go over the topics and lessons you covered. Even if you feel like you know all the material, learning to take good notes now will be a major asset when you go on to high school and college.
3-11. Be healthy.
If your body feels good then so do you. Take up sports and physical activities, but don't overdo it or starve yourself, do what feels right to you. The goal isn't to have a 'perfect body' but rather to be on top of your health and take care of yourself. Also, the junk food that kids eat isn't good and should be replaced by healthy substitutes whenever possible.
3-12. Get enough sleep.
It is important to go to school well-rested and ready to learn. If you are tired from being up too late the previous night, you will have a difficult time focusing and retaining the information being presented to you in class. Make sure you get at least 7-8 hours of sleep each night to be ready for the next day.
3-13. Seek help early in the semester.
If you are having trouble understanding the lessons in one of your classes, ask your teacher for help before you fall too far behind. The more material you have to catch up on, the harder it will be to be successful.
Take advantage of drop-in tutoring centers. Middle schools have a free tutoring resource that any students can use to get up to speed on their studies. The tutoring center can help if you are struggling with a subject, or if you are just looking for some help to get the best grade in the class.
4. Succeeding on the Social Scene
4-1. Get involved.
In middle school, you’re in more classes with new people. Instead of feeling sad about how things are different, seize the chance to expand your horizons. There are so many opportunities to get active and get involved when you reach middle school.
Join a club. Math clubs, service organizations, and the student council are some of the opportunities in middle school. Meet new people (or old people in new ways) and discover your passions and what the new, more mature you can accomplish.
Play a sport. Try out for the basketball or soccer team. Even if you end up riding the bench, you’ll enjoy the camaraderie and competition.
Volunteer. Do a trash pickup or help set up a bake sale for a good cause. Recruit old and new friends for the cause. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative.
4-2. Choose your friends wisely.
As soon as you hit middle school, you’ll be mixed in with new kids as well as older kids. You’ll have opportunities to connect with people who seem exciting and new. But in your preteen and teenage years, it’s important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people. The friends you have in middle school are good indicators of how well you’ll succeed in the coming years, so choose wisely.
If you feel like a “friend” isn’t very nice to you, talk with her about it. If she doesn’t change her ways, it’s probably better, in the long run, to move on.
Make sure to stay away from others who are reckless and get into trouble a lot. Even if they are your friends, don't let them drag you down with them and possibly jeopardize your academic success or other relationships and friendships.
4-3. Learn about healthy relationships.
In middle school, kids are experiencing puberty full-force and hormones start up. You’re probably thinking about that cute boy or girl and whether you might start dating. It’s important during this time to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Studies show that middle schoolers experience sexual harassment and dating violence at high rates, in part because they don’t recognize what is appropriate or not.
Healthy relationships start with respect, trust, and friendship. You should also feel free to have other friends and be independent.
Don’t feel pressured to start dating yet. You may feel that because your friends are dating, you should be too. But some studies show that when you start dating too early, your attention turns away from academics and you may actually perform worse on your school work.
4-4. Give other people a chance.
People change as they become teenagers. It may well be that some kid you’ve known for years but never really were friends with has become a natural fit for the older you.
Teenagers naturally seem to organize themselves into like-minded groups or cliques. This isn’t always a bad thing, but don’t be too quick to judge and exclude people. Be welcoming and inclusive to others. Set a positive example.
4-5. Never be a bully.
Treat other people with kindness and friendliness. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes before you say or do something hurtful.
Stand up for others if you see bullying going on. Don’t stand by and let others be bullied. If you are being bullied or see it happening to someone else, report it to a teacher. Bullying is not acceptable behavior.
5. Getting Support
5-1. Seek advice from your parents.
Your middle school years are about the time when you start feeling like you can do everything on your own. But keep in mind that there are plenty of people around you who are ready and willing to help. Your parents are great resources, believe it or not. They went through many of the same things you’re going through now.
Ask for advice on things like taking notes in class, studying for tests, or even staying out of trouble (gasp)!
5-2. Ask your older siblings about their experiences.
Older brothers and sisters have more recently gone through middle school. They’re likely to have good tips about how to deal with each teacher, which lunch line to choose, and so on.
5-3. Talk with your teachers regularly.
At the start of the school year, talk to each of your teachers about class expectations and ideas on how to do well in the class. Continue talking with your teachers throughout the year to make sure you are meeting expectations. It’s important to take responsibility for your own learning.
Get to know other adults at the school as well, from administrators and guidance counselors to nurses and librarians.
5-4. Talk to the school counselor when you need it.
There is no shame in seeking help when you need it. The school counselor is there to help you and is very knowledgeable about issues that are troubling to middle schoolers. This person can give you guidance about academic challenges as well as social and personal issues.
If you have thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 from the [988lifeline.org Suicide and Crisis Lifeline].
6. Taking Care of Yourself
6-1. Get plenty of rest.
Life gets busier in middle school and will keep getting busier after that. Being rested, refreshed, energized, and focused is the best way to stay ahead of the curve. Your body is still growing and going through changes. You need adequate rest to function at your best. If your schedule is especially busy, you’re using up lots of energy during the day and you need to replace it. Aim to get eight to nine hours of sleep every night.
If you’re having trouble getting to sleep, turn off all screens about 15 to 30 minutes before bed. Studies show that your brain is engaged when you are looking at information on a screen, which can contribute to difficulty getting to sleep.
6-2. Eat well.
Proper nutrition will help your memory, concentration, mood, energy level, and self-image. These are all important components of a successful middle school student. So skip the vending machine and eat real food. Try to get lots of fruits and vegetables, proteins, whole grains and low-fat dairy. Stay away from processed and fried foods, as well as foods that are high in refined sugar.
Start the day with a good breakfast. Studies show that a good breakfast will help you improve your performance on school work throughout the day. Try a fruit and yogurt smoothie, oatmeal or eggs and toast.
6-3. Get regular exercise.
Exercising regularly is a great way to reduce stress, boost brain function, and improve your mood. Kids and teens should get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. Skip watching TV after school and instead, head out for a bike ride with a friend.
6-4. Stay positive.
There will be times when it seems like too much – too much homework, too much pressure, or too many annoying kids in English class. But know that you can and will make it. Keep your goals in mind and focus on what you need to do to achieve them. You can be a success.
You’ll figure things out as you go. You learn by trying, and sometimes failing, and always by getting back up and trying again.
7. Getting Involved
7-1. Find an activity that's right for you.
Consider your interests, abilities and the available free time you have first, then decide which activities suit you best. For example, if you want to make a difference in your middle school, consider student government. If you like running you can join the cross-country team. There are more opportunities than ever to try new things in middle school, so take advantage of them.
7-2. Join a sport.
Some sports are open, such as cross-country and swimming, so there can be as many people on a team as want to join. Some teams that can only have a certain number of players still need team managers that can support the team while they work on improving their skills.
7-3. Join an academic club.
Academic clubs are a great way to learn more while making friends and having fun. There are clubs for science, art, music, history, math and more. You will get to spend time with teachers that know a lot about the subjects they teach and other students that share your interests.
7-4. Attend school functions.
Middle schools will have school dances, shows and other events for students to attend and socialize. It's a great opportunity to make new friends and to showcase your talents.
7-5. Stay connected with your friends.
Make plans with your friends to meet up with them during lunch time. The cafeteria is a good time to socialize, so make sure you let your friends know you plan to spend your lunch with them before the lunch period. This way you can save them a seat, or they can save one from you. Being with friends makes lunch much more enjoyable than sitting with strangers or eating alone.
Tips
Follow your school's rules and policies. Don't get yourself into unnecessary trouble.
If you have trouble finishing your homework or focusing, then reward yourself when you get it all done.
Plan for the next day every night before going to bed. Pick out your clothes and pack your materials.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Start Middle School\\n1-1. Expect it to be different.\\nYour first day of middle school will be, in some respects, like your first day of kindergarten: new places, new faces, new things to do and new ways to do them. Even if your buddies from elementary school are still around, things will still feel different. Chances are, you will make new friends and they will too. Go into it with an open mind. Embrace the chance to try things in a new way. You adapted well to school once (if you can remember that) so you can certainly do it again.\\nPeople you’ve known for years may start to seem different to you. You may start to seem different to them as well. This is a natural part of growing up.\\n1-2. Define success for yourself.\\nIs it academic achievement, or is success for you based on being a good person? Perhaps, ideally, it should be a combination of both of these. The best judge of whether or not you are a success in middle school is you. But you have to know and establish your own criteria. A good thing to do is to get advice from an older sibling or friend who has already experienced the challenges of being a middle schooler. \\nYour parents will have their own ideas of what success means for you. This, of course, is important as well. Talk with your parents about your goals for middle school and how you can work together to achieve them. Remember: you may disagree with your parents' priorities, but if you remain calm and not throw a big temper tantrum if you don't happen to get your way, you'll leave the door of communication open, giving you and your parents a chance to come to some type of mutual agreement. Working together often leads to a reasonable compromise in which both sides are still happy and talking to one another! After all, communication is the key!\\n1-3. Prepare for awkward situations.\\nThe middle school years are always a time of awkwardness. You are growing, your body is changing, and your interests are evolving. Yes, you’ll get pimples, trip over your own feet, feel embarrassed to get changed in the locker room, get rejected by that boy or girl you like, and so on. Don't worry: it happens or has happened to all of us. A good thing to do is to imagine yourself in other people's shoes and try to imagine how you would feel in their situation. It's also helpful to realize that no one is analyzing everything you do. So chances are, if you have one of those days where everything goes horribly and terribly wrong, it's probably not going to be the talking point of the whole school for 5 years after. So just take a deep breath...and relax.\\n1-4. Be true to yourself.\\nThe pressure to conform (or to be like everyone else) grows as you become a teenager. Don’t let peer pressure dictate who you are or what you want to achieve. Although, if it does, don't freak out. It's ok to fit in a little bit despite what all the books say. Do what is right for and what you’re interested in.\\nStick up for what you believe in and what you know is right. For instance, turn in someone who is bullying you or other kids. If this costs you a childhood friend, don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to make new, better friends in middle school.\\n2. Getting Organized\\n2-1. Learn your locker combination.\\nHaving a locker can be a big change. You need to learn your locker combination and remember it. You don't want to end up being late to class all the time because you struggle to get your locker open. Write down your locker combination in a folder or on your phone if you are allowed to keep it with you. This way you will always have the combination, even if your forget it.\\n2-2. Use a student planner.\\nA student planner is a calendar you can use to write down when assignments are due, when you have soccer or choir practice, or when you have sleepovers with friends, for example. Teenagers may not have the reputation for being the neatest, most organized bunch, but you can work to keep yourself and your school materials in order. Doing so will increase your ability to be successful in school.\\nKeep track of your schedule and look at your planner every day. Writing in it after every class can be a good way to start the habit.\\nMake sure you know when your tests are coming up and when big assignments are going to be due. It is your responsibility to make sure you have your work done on time and are prepared for any exams. Your middle school teachers will expect you to.\\n2-3. Use a separate binder or notebook for each subject.\\nHave one notebook for each of your classes. You may even want to color-code them so you know that the blue notebook is for History and the red notebook is for Algebra.\\nKeep these binders organized. Use dividers to separate notes from assignments. The less time it takes you to find your notes, homework, and study guides, the more time you have to actually get things done.\\n2-4. Organize your locker.\\nGo ahead and decorate your locker to show off your personality. Make sure that the things you put in your locker are practical. The biggest mistake is to make your locker an extension of the locker decorations store. Definitely make sure to organize it so you can be in and out of it quickly. You don’t want to have things spilling out of it every time you open it. You should be able to find any assignments or materials that you need for class quickly so you can make it to class on time. Regularly clear out old papers so that you don't have more in your locker than what you actually need.\\n2-5. Have a dedicated homework space at home.\\nCarve out a place for yourself at home to do your homework. This will ideally be a desk with a chair and computer or laptop.This will give you a study environment and helps you to set the mood for studying. Keep the desk clear so that you can easily sit down and do your homework every day after school. \\nStore all your school supplies in one place so that you’re not hunting all over the house for the pencil sharpener.\\n2-6. If you want to, have a family meeting every week.\\nTalk to your parents on Sunday afternoon to see what the week looks like. Use this time to remind your parents about your upcoming game or concert. You might also use this time to find out which nights you might have to help out with dinner, etc.\\n2-7. Keep a copy of your schedule on you all the time.\\nYou will eventually learn your way around your middle school, but it's important to keep a copy of your schedule on you until you master your daily routine. Middle schools are often larger that elementary school and following your schedule can be confusing at first.\\n3. Achieving Academic Success\\n3-1. Attend school.\\nIt sounds obvious, but it’s a key part of being successful in middle school. Studies show that good grades and consistent attendance in middle school are indicators of future academic success in high school and college. Get to school on time and don’t skip classes.\\nIf you need to be out of school, make sure you talk with your teacher about the material you missed. While you're gone, email him or her and check their website if they have one for assignments. Catch up on your homework as soon as possible.\\n3-2. Learn how to take good notes.\\nWhether you had to do it in elementary school or not, the amount of note-taking you will need to do in middle school will be a new experience. Good note-taking doesn’t mean furiously writing down everything the teacher says. Instead, try these strategies to take good notes:\\nKeep your notes organized by starting a new sheet every day. Put the date and the title of what you're learning at the top of the page.\\nListen for audio cues from your teacher. He/she will tend to vocally emphasize what is most important.\\nDon’t worry about writing whole sentences. Instead, develop your own shorthand and shortcuts. Remember, no one has to be able to read it but you, so go ahead a write a squiggle every time your teacher says \\\"Mitosis\\\". It's okay as long as you understand it.\\nReview your notes each day when you’re doing your homework. Rewrite your notes more neatly and fully. This will also help the information stick in your brain better.\\n3-3. Learn how to study.\\nLike note-taking, the amount of studying required in middle school will likely be a surprise. Good study skills do not mean simply memorizing the textbook chapter. Here are some ideas for studying successfully:\\nLearn to identify the most important concepts. Highlight key names, themes, etc., in your notes and put sticky notes in your textbook to mark key passages.\\nRewrite your notes so that you can organize the information and make your writing neat and easy to follow.\\nCreate study aids such as flash cards, diagrams, and so on.\\nFind a study buddy. This is ideally someone who has a good grasp on the material. Working together may help you see things from a different angle. Work hard to stay focused on studying. Talk about music or football another time.\\n3-4. Develop good test-taking skills.\\nTests may be more complicated and you’ll be responsible for knowing more material. To take tests successfully, follow some of these strategies:\\nListen to instructions that your teacher gives you. Read all the directions on the test.\\nPace yourself. Be sure to leave yourself enough time to finish the entire test. Don’t keep looking at the clock, since that might stress you out more. But gauge how long it might take you to answer questions in each section of the test. If a question stumps you, come back to it later.\\nDouble-check all of your answers.\\nReduce anxiety you might feel about taking tests. When you are more prepared and understand the material, your anxiety will lessen. Take deep breaths before the exam and repeat to yourself, “I will do well on this test.”\\n3-5. Do your homework right away.\\nThere are more demands on your time in middle school. You’ll have more classes, more homework, more tests, and more extracurricular activities. Improving your time management skills is key. Make your schoolwork a top priority, so that you get it done on time.\\nTry to complete all your homework as soon as you arrive home from school. Do this before distractions and responsibilities take over. If you have to attend to other things as soon as school is over, block out a specific time each evening for homework completion.\\nKeep limits on your “screen time.” This includes your phone, TV, computer, etc. Don’t play computer games or text with your friends until your homework is done, for example.\\nTake responsibility for your own learning and homework. Don’t copy your friend’s homework.\\nIf you’re having trouble keeping up in a class, talk to your teacher sooner rather than later. Don’t wait until you’ve fallen hopelessly behind.\\n3-6. Ask for help when you need it.\\nAs you get older, more of the responsibility for your academic success rests on your own shoulders. But this doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. There are many different people who want to help you, so let them.\\nIf you’re having trouble with pre-algebra or early American history, for instance, talk to your teachers about additional resources that might help. Your teachers may even be able to suggest tutoring options.\\n3-7. Admit when you’ve made a mistake.\\nIf you haven’t done your homework, don’t lie to your teacher. Instead, tell your teacher that you will work on it tonight and hand it in tomorrow. Your teacher will appreciate that you’re taking responsibility.\\nDon’t cheat on tests or copy other people’s homework. If you do and you get caught, don’t try to lie your way out of it. Tell the truth.\\n3-8. Do your homework.\\nYou will typically get 1-2 hours of homework each day in middle school. Do your homework first while the instructions or lessons are fresh in your mind. Always do your assignments before going out to play or watching television.\\n3-9. Go to every class.\\nBe on time. Teachers will keep track of your attendance and whether or not you were at the class on time, or not. If you are late or absent without being excused, it can negatively affect your grades.\\n3-10. Take good notes.\\nLearn and use a good note taking strategy. Write down key points from your class lectures and discussions. Listen for indications from your teacher when information is likely to appear on your future quizzes or exams. You can review your notes at home to quickly go over the topics and lessons you covered. Even if you feel like you know all the material, learning to take good notes now will be a major asset when you go on to high school and college.\\n3-11. Be healthy.\\nIf your body feels good then so do you. Take up sports and physical activities, but don't overdo it or starve yourself, do what feels right to you. The goal isn't to have a 'perfect body' but rather to be on top of your health and take care of yourself. Also, the junk food that kids eat isn't good and should be replaced by healthy substitutes whenever possible.\\n3-12. Get enough sleep.\\nIt is important to go to school well-rested and ready to learn. If you are tired from being up too late the previous night, you will have a difficult time focusing and retaining the information being presented to you in class. Make sure you get at least 7-8 hours of sleep each night to be ready for the next day.\\n3-13. Seek help early in the semester.\\nIf you are having trouble understanding the lessons in one of your classes, ask your teacher for help before you fall too far behind. The more material you have to catch up on, the harder it will be to be successful.\\nTake advantage of drop-in tutoring centers. Middle schools have a free tutoring resource that any students can use to get up to speed on their studies. The tutoring center can help if you are struggling with a subject, or if you are just looking for some help to get the best grade in the class.\\n4. Succeeding on the Social Scene\\n4-1. Get involved.\\nIn middle school, you’re in more classes with new people. Instead of feeling sad about how things are different, seize the chance to expand your horizons. There are so many opportunities to get active and get involved when you reach middle school.\\nJoin a club. Math clubs, service organizations, and the student council are some of the opportunities in middle school. Meet new people (or old people in new ways) and discover your passions and what the new, more mature you can accomplish.\\nPlay a sport. Try out for the basketball or soccer team. Even if you end up riding the bench, you’ll enjoy the camaraderie and competition.\\nVolunteer. Do a trash pickup or help set up a bake sale for a good cause. Recruit old and new friends for the cause. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative.\\n4-2. Choose your friends wisely.\\nAs soon as you hit middle school, you’ll be mixed in with new kids as well as older kids. You’ll have opportunities to connect with people who seem exciting and new. But in your preteen and teenage years, it’s important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people. The friends you have in middle school are good indicators of how well you’ll succeed in the coming years, so choose wisely. \\nIf you feel like a “friend” isn’t very nice to you, talk with her about it. If she doesn’t change her ways, it’s probably better, in the long run, to move on.\\nMake sure to stay away from others who are reckless and get into trouble a lot. Even if they are your friends, don't let them drag you down with them and possibly jeopardize your academic success or other relationships and friendships.\\n4-3. Learn about healthy relationships.\\nIn middle school, kids are experiencing puberty full-force and hormones start up. You’re probably thinking about that cute boy or girl and whether you might start dating. It’s important during this time to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Studies show that middle schoolers experience sexual harassment and dating violence at high rates, in part because they don’t recognize what is appropriate or not.\\nHealthy relationships start with respect, trust, and friendship. You should also feel free to have other friends and be independent.\\nDon’t feel pressured to start dating yet. You may feel that because your friends are dating, you should be too. But some studies show that when you start dating too early, your attention turns away from academics and you may actually perform worse on your school work.\\n4-4. Give other people a chance.\\nPeople change as they become teenagers. It may well be that some kid you’ve known for years but never really were friends with has become a natural fit for the older you.\\nTeenagers naturally seem to organize themselves into like-minded groups or cliques. This isn’t always a bad thing, but don’t be too quick to judge and exclude people. Be welcoming and inclusive to others. Set a positive example.\\n4-5. Never be a bully.\\nTreat other people with kindness and friendliness. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes before you say or do something hurtful.\\nStand up for others if you see bullying going on. Don’t stand by and let others be bullied. If you are being bullied or see it happening to someone else, report it to a teacher. Bullying is not acceptable behavior.\\n5. Getting Support\\n5-1. Seek advice from your parents.\\nYour middle school years are about the time when you start feeling like you can do everything on your own. But keep in mind that there are plenty of people around you who are ready and willing to help. Your parents are great resources, believe it or not. They went through many of the same things you’re going through now.\\nAsk for advice on things like taking notes in class, studying for tests, or even staying out of trouble (gasp)!\\n5-2. Ask your older siblings about their experiences.\\nOlder brothers and sisters have more recently gone through middle school. They’re likely to have good tips about how to deal with each teacher, which lunch line to choose, and so on.\\n5-3. Talk with your teachers regularly.\\nAt the start of the school year, talk to each of your teachers about class expectations and ideas on how to do well in the class. Continue talking with your teachers throughout the year to make sure you are meeting expectations. It’s important to take responsibility for your own learning.\\nGet to know other adults at the school as well, from administrators and guidance counselors to nurses and librarians.\\n5-4. Talk to the school counselor when you need it.\\nThere is no shame in seeking help when you need it. The school counselor is there to help you and is very knowledgeable about issues that are troubling to middle schoolers. This person can give you guidance about academic challenges as well as social and personal issues. \\nIf you have thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 from the [988lifeline.org Suicide and Crisis Lifeline].\\n6. Taking Care of Yourself\\n6-1. Get plenty of rest.\\nLife gets busier in middle school and will keep getting busier after that. Being rested, refreshed, energized, and focused is the best way to stay ahead of the curve. Your body is still growing and going through changes. You need adequate rest to function at your best. If your schedule is especially busy, you’re using up lots of energy during the day and you need to replace it. Aim to get eight to nine hours of sleep every night.\\nIf you’re having trouble getting to sleep, turn off all screens about 15 to 30 minutes before bed. Studies show that your brain is engaged when you are looking at information on a screen, which can contribute to difficulty getting to sleep.\\n6-2. Eat well.\\nProper nutrition will help your memory, concentration, mood, energy level, and self-image. These are all important components of a successful middle school student. So skip the vending machine and eat real food. Try to get lots of fruits and vegetables, proteins, whole grains and low-fat dairy. Stay away from processed and fried foods, as well as foods that are high in refined sugar.\\nStart the day with a good breakfast. Studies show that a good breakfast will help you improve your performance on school work throughout the day. Try a fruit and yogurt smoothie, oatmeal or eggs and toast.\\n6-3. Get regular exercise.\\nExercising regularly is a great way to reduce stress, boost brain function, and improve your mood. Kids and teens should get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. Skip watching TV after school and instead, head out for a bike ride with a friend.\\n6-4. Stay positive.\\nThere will be times when it seems like too much – too much homework, too much pressure, or too many annoying kids in English class. But know that you can and will make it. Keep your goals in mind and focus on what you need to do to achieve them. You can be a success.\\nYou’ll figure things out as you go. You learn by trying, and sometimes failing, and always by getting back up and trying again.\\n7. Getting Involved\\n7-1. Find an activity that's right for you.\\nConsider your interests, abilities and the available free time you have first, then decide which activities suit you best. For example, if you want to make a difference in your middle school, consider student government. If you like running you can join the cross-country team. There are more opportunities than ever to try new things in middle school, so take advantage of them.\\n7-2. Join a sport.\\nSome sports are open, such as cross-country and swimming, so there can be as many people on a team as want to join. Some teams that can only have a certain number of players still need team managers that can support the team while they work on improving their skills.\\n7-3. Join an academic club.\\nAcademic clubs are a great way to learn more while making friends and having fun. There are clubs for science, art, music, history, math and more. You will get to spend time with teachers that know a lot about the subjects they teach and other students that share your interests.\\n7-4. Attend school functions.\\nMiddle schools will have school dances, shows and other events for students to attend and socialize. It's a great opportunity to make new friends and to showcase your talents.\\n7-5. Stay connected with your friends.\\nMake plans with your friends to meet up with them during lunch time. The cafeteria is a good time to socialize, so make sure you let your friends know you plan to spend your lunch with them before the lunch period. This way you can save them a seat, or they can save one from you. Being with friends makes lunch much more enjoyable than sitting with strangers or eating alone.\\nTips\\nFollow your school's rules and policies. Don't get yourself into unnecessary trouble.\\nIf you have trouble finishing your homework or focusing, then reward yourself when you get it all done.\\nPlan for the next day every night before going to bed. Pick out your clothes and pack your materials.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Your middle school years are a time in which changes in your life are sure to occur. These include changes in your schooling and changes in yourself as you transition from your pre-teen to your teenage years. It is natural to feel anxiety and pressure about these changes, but it is also a time of great new opportunities for you. If you want to be successful in middle school, read on to prepare for the challenges and opportunities ahead.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Start Middle School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Expect it to be different.\", \"描述\": \"Your first day of middle school will be, in some respects, like your first day of kindergarten: new places, new faces, new things to do and new ways to do them. Even if your buddies from elementary school are still around, things will still feel different. Chances are, you will make new friends and they will too. Go into it with an open mind. Embrace the chance to try things in a new way. You adapted well to school once (if you can remember that) so you can certainly do it again.\\nPeople you’ve known for years may start to seem different to you. You may start to seem different to them as well. This is a natural part of growing up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Define success for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Is it academic achievement, or is success for you based on being a good person? Perhaps, ideally, it should be a combination of both of these. The best judge of whether or not you are a success in middle school is you. But you have to know and establish your own criteria. A good thing to do is to get advice from an older sibling or friend who has already experienced the challenges of being a middle schooler. \\nYour parents will have their own ideas of what success means for you. This, of course, is important as well. Talk with your parents about your goals for middle school and how you can work together to achieve them. Remember: you may disagree with your parents' priorities, but if you remain calm and not throw a big temper tantrum if you don't happen to get your way, you'll leave the door of communication open, giving you and your parents a chance to come to some type of mutual agreement. Working together often leads to a reasonable compromise in which both sides are still happy and talking to one another! After all, communication is the key!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prepare for awkward situations.\", \"描述\": \"The middle school years are always a time of awkwardness. You are growing, your body is changing, and your interests are evolving. Yes, you’ll get pimples, trip over your own feet, feel embarrassed to get changed in the locker room, get rejected by that boy or girl you like, and so on. Don't worry: it happens or has happened to all of us. A good thing to do is to imagine yourself in other people's shoes and try to imagine how you would feel in their situation. It's also helpful to realize that no one is analyzing everything you do. So chances are, if you have one of those days where everything goes horribly and terribly wrong, it's probably not going to be the talking point of the whole school for 5 years after. So just take a deep breath...and relax.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be true to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The pressure to conform (or to be like everyone else) grows as you become a teenager. Don’t let peer pressure dictate who you are or what you want to achieve. Although, if it does, don't freak out. It's ok to fit in a little bit despite what all the books say. Do what is right for and what you’re interested in.\\nStick up for what you believe in and what you know is right. For instance, turn in someone who is bullying you or other kids. If this costs you a childhood friend, don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to make new, better friends in middle school.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Organized\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn your locker combination.\", \"描述\": \"Having a locker can be a big change. You need to learn your locker combination and remember it. You don't want to end up being late to class all the time because you struggle to get your locker open. Write down your locker combination in a folder or on your phone if you are allowed to keep it with you. This way you will always have the combination, even if your forget it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a student planner.\", \"描述\": \"A student planner is a calendar you can use to write down when assignments are due, when you have soccer or choir practice, or when you have sleepovers with friends, for example. Teenagers may not have the reputation for being the neatest, most organized bunch, but you can work to keep yourself and your school materials in order. Doing so will increase your ability to be successful in school.\\nKeep track of your schedule and look at your planner every day. Writing in it after every class can be a good way to start the habit.\\nMake sure you know when your tests are coming up and when big assignments are going to be due. It is your responsibility to make sure you have your work done on time and are prepared for any exams. Your middle school teachers will expect you to.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use a separate binder or notebook for each subject.\", \"描述\": \"Have one notebook for each of your classes. You may even want to color-code them so you know that the blue notebook is for History and the red notebook is for Algebra.\\nKeep these binders organized. Use dividers to separate notes from assignments. The less time it takes you to find your notes, homework, and study guides, the more time you have to actually get things done.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Organize your locker.\", \"描述\": \"Go ahead and decorate your locker to show off your personality. Make sure that the things you put in your locker are practical. The biggest mistake is to make your locker an extension of the locker decorations store. Definitely make sure to organize it so you can be in and out of it quickly. You don’t want to have things spilling out of it every time you open it. You should be able to find any assignments or materials that you need for class quickly so you can make it to class on time. Regularly clear out old papers so that you don't have more in your locker than what you actually need.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a dedicated homework space at home.\", \"描述\": \"Carve out a place for yourself at home to do your homework. This will ideally be a desk with a chair and computer or laptop.This will give you a study environment and helps you to set the mood for studying. Keep the desk clear so that you can easily sit down and do your homework every day after school. \\nStore all your school supplies in one place so that you’re not hunting all over the house for the pencil sharpener.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"If you want to, have a family meeting every week.\", \"描述\": \"Talk to your parents on Sunday afternoon to see what the week looks like. Use this time to remind your parents about your upcoming game or concert. You might also use this time to find out which nights you might have to help out with dinner, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep a copy of your schedule on you all the time.\", \"描述\": \"You will eventually learn your way around your middle school, but it's important to keep a copy of your schedule on you until you master your daily routine. Middle schools are often larger that elementary school and following your schedule can be confusing at first.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Achieving Academic Success\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Attend school.\", \"描述\": \"It sounds obvious, but it’s a key part of being successful in middle school. Studies show that good grades and consistent attendance in middle school are indicators of future academic success in high school and college. Get to school on time and don’t skip classes.\\nIf you need to be out of school, make sure you talk with your teacher about the material you missed. While you're gone, email him or her and check their website if they have one for assignments. Catch up on your homework as soon as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn how to take good notes.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you had to do it in elementary school or not, the amount of note-taking you will need to do in middle school will be a new experience. Good note-taking doesn’t mean furiously writing down everything the teacher says. Instead, try these strategies to take good notes:\\nKeep your notes organized by starting a new sheet every day. Put the date and the title of what you're learning at the top of the page.\\nListen for audio cues from your teacher. He/she will tend to vocally emphasize what is most important.\\nDon’t worry about writing whole sentences. Instead, develop your own shorthand and shortcuts. Remember, no one has to be able to read it but you, so go ahead a write a squiggle every time your teacher says \\\"Mitosis\\\". It's okay as long as you understand it.\\nReview your notes each day when you’re doing your homework. Rewrite your notes more neatly and fully. This will also help the information stick in your brain better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn how to study.\", \"描述\": \"Like note-taking, the amount of studying required in middle school will likely be a surprise. Good study skills do not mean simply memorizing the textbook chapter. Here are some ideas for studying successfully:\\nLearn to identify the most important concepts. Highlight key names, themes, etc., in your notes and put sticky notes in your textbook to mark key passages.\\nRewrite your notes so that you can organize the information and make your writing neat and easy to follow.\\nCreate study aids such as flash cards, diagrams, and so on.\\nFind a study buddy. This is ideally someone who has a good grasp on the material. Working together may help you see things from a different angle. Work hard to stay focused on studying. Talk about music or football another time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Develop good test-taking skills.\", \"描述\": \"Tests may be more complicated and you’ll be responsible for knowing more material. To take tests successfully, follow some of these strategies:\\nListen to instructions that your teacher gives you. Read all the directions on the test.\\nPace yourself. Be sure to leave yourself enough time to finish the entire test. Don’t keep looking at the clock, since that might stress you out more. But gauge how long it might take you to answer questions in each section of the test. If a question stumps you, come back to it later.\\nDouble-check all of your answers.\\nReduce anxiety you might feel about taking tests. When you are more prepared and understand the material, your anxiety will lessen. Take deep breaths before the exam and repeat to yourself, “I will do well on this test.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do your homework right away.\", \"描述\": \"There are more demands on your time in middle school. You’ll have more classes, more homework, more tests, and more extracurricular activities. Improving your time management skills is key. Make your schoolwork a top priority, so that you get it done on time.\\nTry to complete all your homework as soon as you arrive home from school. Do this before distractions and responsibilities take over. If you have to attend to other things as soon as school is over, block out a specific time each evening for homework completion.\\nKeep limits on your “screen time.” This includes your phone, TV, computer, etc. Don’t play computer games or text with your friends until your homework is done, for example.\\nTake responsibility for your own learning and homework. Don’t copy your friend’s homework.\\nIf you’re having trouble keeping up in a class, talk to your teacher sooner rather than later. Don’t wait until you’ve fallen hopelessly behind.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask for help when you need it.\", \"描述\": \"As you get older, more of the responsibility for your academic success rests on your own shoulders. But this doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. There are many different people who want to help you, so let them.\\nIf you’re having trouble with pre-algebra or early American history, for instance, talk to your teachers about additional resources that might help. Your teachers may even be able to suggest tutoring options.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Admit when you’ve made a mistake.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven’t done your homework, don’t lie to your teacher. Instead, tell your teacher that you will work on it tonight and hand it in tomorrow. Your teacher will appreciate that you’re taking responsibility.\\nDon’t cheat on tests or copy other people’s homework. If you do and you get caught, don’t try to lie your way out of it. Tell the truth.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Do your homework.\", \"描述\": \"You will typically get 1-2 hours of homework each day in middle school. Do your homework first while the instructions or lessons are fresh in your mind. Always do your assignments before going out to play or watching television.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Go to every class.\", \"描述\": \"Be on time. Teachers will keep track of your attendance and whether or not you were at the class on time, or not. If you are late or absent without being excused, it can negatively affect your grades.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Take good notes.\", \"描述\": \"Learn and use a good note taking strategy. Write down key points from your class lectures and discussions. Listen for indications from your teacher when information is likely to appear on your future quizzes or exams. You can review your notes at home to quickly go over the topics and lessons you covered. Even if you feel like you know all the material, learning to take good notes now will be a major asset when you go on to high school and college.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Be healthy.\", \"描述\": \"If your body feels good then so do you. Take up sports and physical activities, but don't overdo it or starve yourself, do what feels right to you. The goal isn't to have a 'perfect body' but rather to be on top of your health and take care of yourself. Also, the junk food that kids eat isn't good and should be replaced by healthy substitutes whenever possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to go to school well-rested and ready to learn. If you are tired from being up too late the previous night, you will have a difficult time focusing and retaining the information being presented to you in class. Make sure you get at least 7-8 hours of sleep each night to be ready for the next day.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Seek help early in the semester.\", \"描述\": \"If you are having trouble understanding the lessons in one of your classes, ask your teacher for help before you fall too far behind. The more material you have to catch up on, the harder it will be to be successful.\\nTake advantage of drop-in tutoring centers. Middle schools have a free tutoring resource that any students can use to get up to speed on their studies. The tutoring center can help if you are struggling with a subject, or if you are just looking for some help to get the best grade in the class.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Succeeding on the Social Scene\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get involved.\", \"描述\": \"In middle school, you’re in more classes with new people. Instead of feeling sad about how things are different, seize the chance to expand your horizons. There are so many opportunities to get active and get involved when you reach middle school.\\nJoin a club. Math clubs, service organizations, and the student council are some of the opportunities in middle school. Meet new people (or old people in new ways) and discover your passions and what the new, more mature you can accomplish.\\nPlay a sport. Try out for the basketball or soccer team. Even if you end up riding the bench, you’ll enjoy the camaraderie and competition.\\nVolunteer. Do a trash pickup or help set up a bake sale for a good cause. Recruit old and new friends for the cause. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose your friends wisely.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as you hit middle school, you’ll be mixed in with new kids as well as older kids. You’ll have opportunities to connect with people who seem exciting and new. But in your preteen and teenage years, it’s important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people. The friends you have in middle school are good indicators of how well you’ll succeed in the coming years, so choose wisely. \\nIf you feel like a “friend” isn’t very nice to you, talk with her about it. If she doesn’t change her ways, it’s probably better, in the long run, to move on.\\nMake sure to stay away from others who are reckless and get into trouble a lot. Even if they are your friends, don't let them drag you down with them and possibly jeopardize your academic success or other relationships and friendships.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn about healthy relationships.\", \"描述\": \"In middle school, kids are experiencing puberty full-force and hormones start up. You’re probably thinking about that cute boy or girl and whether you might start dating. It’s important during this time to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Studies show that middle schoolers experience sexual harassment and dating violence at high rates, in part because they don’t recognize what is appropriate or not.\\nHealthy relationships start with respect, trust, and friendship. You should also feel free to have other friends and be independent.\\nDon’t feel pressured to start dating yet. You may feel that because your friends are dating, you should be too. But some studies show that when you start dating too early, your attention turns away from academics and you may actually perform worse on your school work.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give other people a chance.\", \"描述\": \"People change as they become teenagers. It may well be that some kid you’ve known for years but never really were friends with has become a natural fit for the older you.\\nTeenagers naturally seem to organize themselves into like-minded groups or cliques. This isn’t always a bad thing, but don’t be too quick to judge and exclude people. Be welcoming and inclusive to others. Set a positive example.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Never be a bully.\", \"描述\": \"Treat other people with kindness and friendliness. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes before you say or do something hurtful.\\nStand up for others if you see bullying going on. Don’t stand by and let others be bullied. If you are being bullied or see it happening to someone else, report it to a teacher. Bullying is not acceptable behavior.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Getting Support\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Seek advice from your parents.\", \"描述\": \"Your middle school years are about the time when you start feeling like you can do everything on your own. But keep in mind that there are plenty of people around you who are ready and willing to help. Your parents are great resources, believe it or not. They went through many of the same things you’re going through now.\\nAsk for advice on things like taking notes in class, studying for tests, or even staying out of trouble (gasp)!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask your older siblings about their experiences.\", \"描述\": \"Older brothers and sisters have more recently gone through middle school. They’re likely to have good tips about how to deal with each teacher, which lunch line to choose, and so on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk with your teachers regularly.\", \"描述\": \"At the start of the school year, talk to each of your teachers about class expectations and ideas on how to do well in the class. Continue talking with your teachers throughout the year to make sure you are meeting expectations. It’s important to take responsibility for your own learning.\\nGet to know other adults at the school as well, from administrators and guidance counselors to nurses and librarians.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to the school counselor when you need it.\", \"描述\": \"There is no shame in seeking help when you need it. The school counselor is there to help you and is very knowledgeable about issues that are troubling to middle schoolers. This person can give you guidance about academic challenges as well as social and personal issues. \\nIf you have thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 from the [988lifeline.org Suicide and Crisis Lifeline].\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get plenty of rest.\", \"描述\": \"Life gets busier in middle school and will keep getting busier after that. Being rested, refreshed, energized, and focused is the best way to stay ahead of the curve. Your body is still growing and going through changes. You need adequate rest to function at your best. If your schedule is especially busy, you’re using up lots of energy during the day and you need to replace it. Aim to get eight to nine hours of sleep every night.\\nIf you’re having trouble getting to sleep, turn off all screens about 15 to 30 minutes before bed. Studies show that your brain is engaged when you are looking at information on a screen, which can contribute to difficulty getting to sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat well.\", \"描述\": \"Proper nutrition will help your memory, concentration, mood, energy level, and self-image. These are all important components of a successful middle school student. So skip the vending machine and eat real food. Try to get lots of fruits and vegetables, proteins, whole grains and low-fat dairy. Stay away from processed and fried foods, as well as foods that are high in refined sugar.\\nStart the day with a good breakfast. Studies show that a good breakfast will help you improve your performance on school work throughout the day. Try a fruit and yogurt smoothie, oatmeal or eggs and toast.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get regular exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Exercising regularly is a great way to reduce stress, boost brain function, and improve your mood. Kids and teens should get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. Skip watching TV after school and instead, head out for a bike ride with a friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay positive.\", \"描述\": \"There will be times when it seems like too much – too much homework, too much pressure, or too many annoying kids in English class. But know that you can and will make it. Keep your goals in mind and focus on what you need to do to achieve them. You can be a success.\\nYou’ll figure things out as you go. You learn by trying, and sometimes failing, and always by getting back up and trying again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find an activity that's right for you.\", \"描述\": \"Consider your interests, abilities and the available free time you have first, then decide which activities suit you best. For example, if you want to make a difference in your middle school, consider student government. If you like running you can join the cross-country team. There are more opportunities than ever to try new things in middle school, so take advantage of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a sport.\", \"描述\": \"Some sports are open, such as cross-country and swimming, so there can be as many people on a team as want to join. Some teams that can only have a certain number of players still need team managers that can support the team while they work on improving their skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join an academic club.\", \"描述\": \"Academic clubs are a great way to learn more while making friends and having fun. There are clubs for science, art, music, history, math and more. You will get to spend time with teachers that know a lot about the subjects they teach and other students that share your interests.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Attend school functions.\", \"描述\": \"Middle schools will have school dances, shows and other events for students to attend and socialize. It's a great opportunity to make new friends and to showcase your talents.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay connected with your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Make plans with your friends to meet up with them during lunch time. The cafeteria is a good time to socialize, so make sure you let your friends know you plan to spend your lunch with them before the lunch period. This way you can save them a seat, or they can save one from you. Being with friends makes lunch much more enjoyable than sitting with strangers or eating alone.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Follow your school's rules and policies. Don't get yourself into unnecessary trouble.\\n\", \"If you have trouble finishing your homework or focusing, then reward yourself when you get it all done.\\n\", \"Plan for the next day every night before going to bed. Pick out your clothes and pack your materials.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,204 | How to Be Successful in Seventh Grade | 1. Understanding Academics in Seventh Grade
1-1. Review and learn seventh grade math concepts.
In seventh grade, you'll learn many math concepts that are related to things you learned in sixth grade. Seventh grade math usually encompasses fractions and integers, some geometry, and some pre-algebra. If you're in an advanced math class, you'll usually take algebra 1. (it's common for private schools and kids in advanced math courses to take algebra 1 in seventh grade).
You will learn many number-related math skills in seventh grade. This includes solving proportions, integer arithmetic (such as −5−(+41){\displaystyle -5-(+41)}), and fraction arithmetic (such as 3/4+4/9{\displaystyle 3/4+4/9}).
You will learn some basic pre-algebra. You'll solve basic equations with variables, such as x + 5 = 9 or 2x = 18. This will progress to solving inequalities, which are very similar to equations. For example, x+5>9{\displaystyle x+5>9} or 2x+32<54{\displaystyle 2x+32<54} are inequalities, as the two sides of the equation are not equal to each other. As usual, move the numbers to one side of the sign and the variables to one side. x>4{\displaystyle x>4} in the 1st equation and 2x<22{\displaystyle 2x<22} in the 2nd one. Divide both sides by 2 in the 2nd inequality, so x<11{\displaystyle x<11}.
If you're in an advanced class, a whole year of algebra will be taught. At first, you'll review pre-algebra. Then, it will progress to more complicated algebra (e.g. x2+6x+55=0{\displaystyle x^{2}+6x+55=0}) and you'll learn how to factor out quadratic equations and how to graph them. Graphed quadratic equations are parabolas. To factor the above example, find which 2 numbers multiply to get +5{\displaystyle +5} and have a difference of +6{\displaystyle +6}. The numbers are 11{\displaystyle 11} and 6{\displaystyle 6}. You know that x2{\displaystyle x^{2}} factored is just x{\displaystyle x}. So, the factored version is (x+5)(x+11){\displaystyle (x+5)(x+11)} In the end, you may learn a bit of geometry, such as the area and circumference of a circle, scaling drawings, and angle relationships.
1-2. Learn and review seventh grade grammar and writing concepts.
You will learn more grammar concepts in seventh grade than in sixth grade. You might know the basic parts of speech like nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and prepositions, but there are still more parts of speech to be taught! Your writing will also improve, making sentences flow better and letting your claims be stronger in persuasive essays.
In grammar, you'll likely learn about misplaced modifiers and fixing run-on sentences. You will probably be able to write compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences by the end of the year in addition to simple sentences. These sentences make your writing flow better instead of just writing choppy, short simple sentences. You may also learn about the different kinds of pronouns.
In writing, you'll probably write essays. As usual, you'll write with more advanced vocabulary as each year goes on. You will write more persuasive essays as the year goes on. You'll know how to support each of your claims with strong evidence from a text, and to introduce your argument with a thesis.
1-3. Review and learn seventh grade reading and vocabulary.
Seventh grade reading and vocabulary will be pretty similar to what you learned in sixth grade. However, there will be new things learnt, as usual. You may learn some more complex vocabulary words, and read longer books with fascinating plots.
For reading, read books such as The Giver by Lois Lowry, New Kid by Jerry Craft, Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen, Sea of Trolls by Nancy Farmer, and Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls.
Older books suitable for seventh graders include A Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt, The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, The Time Machine by H. G. Wells, and Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.
1-4. Review seventh grade science.
Each school district teaches a slightly different curriculum, but most teach a combination of biology, physics, chemistry, and earth science. These topics are pretty similar to what you've learned in sixth grade, although the concepts will be more complex. There will also definitely be more terms to memorize!
For biology, you may learn about genetics and heredity. Review terms like "Punnett squares", "acquired", "traits", "alleles", "dominant", and "recessive".
For earth science, the classification of rocks may be taught. Know some terms, such as "igneous", "metamorphic", and "sedimentary".
In physics, you may learn about energy transfers and energy transformations (e.g. from kinetic energy to mechanical energy). Heat transfer may also be taught.
In chemistry, you may learn different types of elements and chemical bonds. Remember how to identify reactants and products and different chemical reactions.
1-5. Review and learn seventh grade history.
Seventh grade history also depends on the school you're in, so don't expect it to be completely the same as last year. Each school focuses on a different part of history. Some may learn American history, whereas other focus more on geography, modern world history, or the medieval period of world history.
You might learn about ancient history, such as Ancient Rome, Greece, Egypt, or China. If you're learning about Ancient China, you might get a taste of the important dynasties like the Song, Han, and Tang dynasties.
You may get to learn about different revolutions, such as the American and French revolutions.
You may get a taste of 19th century world history during the time of the Industrial Revolution, when people began mass-producing goods in factories. This caused many people to move to the cities to find factory jobs. The people owning the factories frequently mistreated their workers, resulting in strikes.
Many famous people such as Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller owned companies that made them one of the wealthiest people in the world at the time.
Some schools teach early 20th century history. This includes American imperialism in the late 19th century, World War I, and various revolutions such as the Russian Revolution. The teacher will likely cover the causes of World War I, how US affected and expanded its territory, relations with countries at this time, and revolutions.
2. Acing Seventh Grade Academics
2-1. Take notes.
Your teachers may not require notes for every subject, but it's still great to take notes using at least a thin notebook. The most important subjects to take notes on are math, science, and history. You can take notes in language arts too, although they'll be shorter, as you will likely only need to take notes for grammar or when reading a book for school. If you're reading an assigned book (e.g. The Diary of a Young Girl or The Giver), your teacher may require reading notes on the characters, plot, setting, and the main ideas of each chapter or section of the book. Jot down key terms and definitions. You should also provide a few examples.
For math, draw diagrams and do a few example problems in your math notebook. If your school tells you to buy your own school supplies, buy a graph paper notebook. This will make it easier to line up numbers and draw shapes on coordinate planes. Your bar and line graphs will also be neater.
For history, write down key events that happened, who was involved, and when they happened. For example, you could write, "11/11/1918 – World War I ends".
Don't write complete sentences for your notes! Unless you're writing down example sentences for grammar, writing whole sentences will waste your time when you want to write down as many points as possible. It will also tire your hand out faster. Use abbreviations, semicolons, bullet points, and fragments of sentences to make your notes concise. Remember, you're not copying down the whole textbook!
2-2. Study for tests.
During earlier grade levels such as third grade, second grade, first grade, and kindergarten, you probably did not study for tests, or at least not as much. Since elementary school concepts are easier to understand and there is usually less material, kids often have an easy time remembering most of the information. As early as third grade, tests may become harder to ace without studying for at least 10 minutes daily. Addition facts are easy to memorize, but using the area of a circle formula? That information is harder to retain in your brain over a long period.
Another benefit of studying every day is that you are prepared for pop quizzes. If you only study when you have a test coming up, you may not be prepared if there is a pop quiz. If you already study with or without tests, it becomes a habit, and you'll already know the information.
Ask your teacher for help if you have questions about the material or your assignment.
Try studying with friends before a big test to have some fun and review together.
2-3. Use a planner.
If your school gives you a school supply list, it may already include a planner on it. If your school doesn't and expects students to buy their own supplies, buy one. A planner is essentially a booklet in which you jot down important dates and assignments. These could be related to school, or they could even be about extracurriculars or clubs. Some planners already give you a full calendar with the dates for each school year printed on it, while others allow you to make your own calendar.
To keep track of important dates, you could write something like, "ACSL club - Fibonacci sequence project due" on the day that project is due, or "Math test (Topic 4)" on the day that test is scheduled for.
You can also keep separate planners; one for school assignments and one for fun events or extracurriculars. This makes your schedule organized, and you won't get mixed up with what's important and what's not.
2-4. Be organized.
Make sure that on your homework folder, hopefully it has two pockets, that one pocket says "Finished" and "Not Finished". That way, you can keep track of what homework you need to complete and what homework you need to turn in.
Label your school supplies. On each journal (try a different color for each topic) write on the front cover what subject it is for. You could also put each journal in the subject divider for their subjects. Being organized will help you be the best student you can be!
2-5. Make a schedule, so you know when you have to work on homework after school.
Make a slot for mornings, afternoons, and evenings. Make sure to list everything in those slots on what you need to do. In the mornings, list everything you need to do in the morning. The same goes for afternoons and evenings, just make sure to write the times and what you need to do in the slots.
3. Social Life
3-1. Be friendly to everyone.
This is why someone who always frowns or annoys people will not get many friends. People who seem uninterested in talking to other people (the kids who always sit alone and do not contribute to conversations) will not get many friends either. Most kids like a friendly person that will help them through challenges and talk about their day with them. Say hi to someone while on the way to class, help someone with their homework, or help clean up the classroom after class. These are all ways to be friendly. Doing this will earn you at least a few friends.
Contrary to what some kids think, being a big bully/mean girl does not earn you friends. do this, as you don't want to ruin your reputation at the beginning of middle school! Sure, they may seem like friends to you on the outside, but on the inside, they may be as mean as you. They might make friends with you just to gain popularity, so they may fight with you to get the "most popular".
3-2. Hang out with classmates during breaks and lunch.
These are the best times to hang out and get to know each other! If you don't stay in study hall or attend any clubs, you can hang out with your friends during break and lunch. You can even talk while you are going to the bathroom with them. Yes, some kids can talk anywhere; during class, in the bathroom, at lunch, during clubs/study hall, and on the bus to/from school if they use the bus to get to school. That doesn't guarantee that other kids like them though; they may make others annoyed or distracted from their schoolwork. So, only chat during appropriate times. Save conversations for breaks, lunch, and after-school times!
Whispering or talking to your pal during class or during an inappropriate time (e.g. during an assembly or during a trip to the principal's office) may get you into trouble, so don't do it often. If you do this too frequently, your reputation may downgrade, because you may be known as "too chatty" or "a distraction".
3-3. Choose an elective.
Middle schools often have a wide variety of electives for students to choose. You can choose something that you enjoy or want to learn about. It's normal for interests to jump around during middle school- there's still room for developing interests. During 8th grade and high school, however, you may want to settle down, since you'll need to decide on a career path.
Middle schools offer a lot of electives- some include journalism, Spanish, engineering, speech and debate, visual arts, performing arts, graphic arts, orchestra, and craft electives.
3-4. Join multiple clubs in your school.
From robotics to newspaper and drama, there will probably be at least one club that you're interested in. People of all grade levels and classes can join clubs, so you will find people that are older than you there. Middle schools will usually have more clubs than elementary schools, so expect there to be variety. These clubs demonstrate your interests and help you gain friends that share the same hobbies as you. For example, if you join the art club, you will find art lovers all over the club. If you attend the robotics club, a bunch of AI enthusiasts will be there.
Be careful not to join too many clubs, or you won't be able to get any work done. Try and stick to 2 or 3 clubs you're particularly interested in.
During a club, you can talk to the people sitting next to you. If you're rehearsing lines (say, for performing arts), rehearse with the people in the same scene and/or act as you. Rehearse your lines a couple of times, then talk a bit to get to know each other.
3-5. Join the student council.
There are a few positions in the student council that you can run for: class representative, secretary, vice president, and president. Even though you're not the oldest, you aren't the youngest in your middle school anymore either! This means that the sixth graders will look up to you as trustworthy role models. If you feel like you're responsible and can handle being in the student council, try running! Plus, if you continually run for student council every year, you will have established that you won't give up. If you get elected for a different role each year, you might improve on your leadership skills. If you were elected as class representative in sixth grade and as secretary in seventh, you may be elected as vice president or even the president in eighth grade.
If you're running for any of these positions, you will need a speech and possibly a campaign poster.
Write your name in letters on your poster and make it colorful for others to notice it and actually read what it says. You could also think of a creative slogan. For example, Whig party delegates William Henry Harrison and John Tyler had a catchy slogan in the 1840 U.S. elections; "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too", which was originally published as "Tip and Ty".
3-6. Deal with having a crush in seventh grade.
This could be your first ever love interest or your third crush. You may feel overwhelmed with emotion, whether this is your first crush or your seventh, or whether you know them or not. Sometimes it may be "love at first sight", in which case you may want to check if you actually love this person for more than just their looks. For others, it takes a while to develop a crush by getting to know them better, and that's ok too! You may also be very shy about having a romantic interest, and not know how to express your feelings.
Firstly, check if you really have a crush. If you want to hug or hold hands with the person (physical affection) and feel overly nervous or excited around them, that's a crush and not just a friend.
Next, decide whether or not you want to tell them. Some people don't want to let anyone know that they have feelings for the person, and that's perfectly fine. Letting it out is more satisfying though, and you really get to know whether or not they like you romantically or not. Ultimately, it's up to you whether or not you want to confess your feelings.
Understand if your crush rejects you that it is ! Don't despair- you will meet many more romantic interests over the course of middle school, high school, and college. Take time to grieve and focus on yourself.
Tips
Eat healthy. Don't eat too much junk food[11]
X
Trustworthy Source
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services
Go to source
If you have a locker, feel free to decorate it with mirrors, notepads, and inspirational quotes! Avoid using sticky substances such as tape or glue in your locker, especially if your school doesn't allow it.
Doing your homework and submitting it by the due date is also a great way to have awesome grades.
Warnings
If possible, avoid bullies. They will just destroy your self-esteem.
If you see someone hurt, or being bullied, tell an adult immediately.
Don't pick friends that will treat you rudely.
Don't be rude to others. If you are, you're not going to have a lot of friends.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding Academics in Seventh Grade\\n1-1. Review and learn seventh grade math concepts.\\nIn seventh grade, you'll learn many math concepts that are related to things you learned in sixth grade. Seventh grade math usually encompasses fractions and integers, some geometry, and some pre-algebra. If you're in an advanced math class, you'll usually take algebra 1. (it's common for private schools and kids in advanced math courses to take algebra 1 in seventh grade).\\nYou will learn many number-related math skills in seventh grade. This includes solving proportions, integer arithmetic (such as −5−(+41){\\\\displaystyle -5-(+41)}), and fraction arithmetic (such as 3/4+4/9{\\\\displaystyle 3/4+4/9}).\\nYou will learn some basic pre-algebra. You'll solve basic equations with variables, such as x + 5 = 9 or 2x = 18. This will progress to solving inequalities, which are very similar to equations. For example, x+5>9{\\\\displaystyle x+5>9} or 2x+32<54{\\\\displaystyle 2x+32<54} are inequalities, as the two sides of the equation are not equal to each other. As usual, move the numbers to one side of the sign and the variables to one side. x>4{\\\\displaystyle x>4} in the 1st equation and 2x<22{\\\\displaystyle 2x<22} in the 2nd one. Divide both sides by 2 in the 2nd inequality, so x<11{\\\\displaystyle x<11}.\\nIf you're in an advanced class, a whole year of algebra will be taught. At first, you'll review pre-algebra. Then, it will progress to more complicated algebra (e.g. x2+6x+55=0{\\\\displaystyle x^{2}+6x+55=0}) and you'll learn how to factor out quadratic equations and how to graph them. Graphed quadratic equations are parabolas. To factor the above example, find which 2 numbers multiply to get +5{\\\\displaystyle +5} and have a difference of +6{\\\\displaystyle +6}. The numbers are 11{\\\\displaystyle 11} and 6{\\\\displaystyle 6}. You know that x2{\\\\displaystyle x^{2}} factored is just x{\\\\displaystyle x}. So, the factored version is (x+5)(x+11){\\\\displaystyle (x+5)(x+11)} In the end, you may learn a bit of geometry, such as the area and circumference of a circle, scaling drawings, and angle relationships.\\n1-2. Learn and review seventh grade grammar and writing concepts.\\nYou will learn more grammar concepts in seventh grade than in sixth grade. You might know the basic parts of speech like nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and prepositions, but there are still more parts of speech to be taught! Your writing will also improve, making sentences flow better and letting your claims be stronger in persuasive essays.\\nIn grammar, you'll likely learn about misplaced modifiers and fixing run-on sentences. You will probably be able to write compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences by the end of the year in addition to simple sentences. These sentences make your writing flow better instead of just writing choppy, short simple sentences. You may also learn about the different kinds of pronouns. \\nIn writing, you'll probably write essays. As usual, you'll write with more advanced vocabulary as each year goes on. You will write more persuasive essays as the year goes on. You'll know how to support each of your claims with strong evidence from a text, and to introduce your argument with a thesis.\\n1-3. Review and learn seventh grade reading and vocabulary.\\nSeventh grade reading and vocabulary will be pretty similar to what you learned in sixth grade. However, there will be new things learnt, as usual. You may learn some more complex vocabulary words, and read longer books with fascinating plots.\\nFor reading, read books such as The Giver by Lois Lowry, New Kid by Jerry Craft, Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen, Sea of Trolls by Nancy Farmer, and Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls. \\nOlder books suitable for seventh graders include A Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt, The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, The Time Machine by H. G. Wells, and Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.\\n1-4. Review seventh grade science.\\nEach school district teaches a slightly different curriculum, but most teach a combination of biology, physics, chemistry, and earth science. These topics are pretty similar to what you've learned in sixth grade, although the concepts will be more complex. There will also definitely be more terms to memorize!\\nFor biology, you may learn about genetics and heredity. Review terms like \\\"Punnett squares\\\", \\\"acquired\\\", \\\"traits\\\", \\\"alleles\\\", \\\"dominant\\\", and \\\"recessive\\\".\\nFor earth science, the classification of rocks may be taught. Know some terms, such as \\\"igneous\\\", \\\"metamorphic\\\", and \\\"sedimentary\\\".\\nIn physics, you may learn about energy transfers and energy transformations (e.g. from kinetic energy to mechanical energy). Heat transfer may also be taught.\\nIn chemistry, you may learn different types of elements and chemical bonds. Remember how to identify reactants and products and different chemical reactions.\\n1-5. Review and learn seventh grade history.\\nSeventh grade history also depends on the school you're in, so don't expect it to be completely the same as last year. Each school focuses on a different part of history. Some may learn American history, whereas other focus more on geography, modern world history, or the medieval period of world history.\\nYou might learn about ancient history, such as Ancient Rome, Greece, Egypt, or China. If you're learning about Ancient China, you might get a taste of the important dynasties like the Song, Han, and Tang dynasties. \\nYou may get to learn about different revolutions, such as the American and French revolutions.\\nYou may get a taste of 19th century world history during the time of the Industrial Revolution, when people began mass-producing goods in factories. This caused many people to move to the cities to find factory jobs. The people owning the factories frequently mistreated their workers, resulting in strikes.\\nMany famous people such as Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller owned companies that made them one of the wealthiest people in the world at the time.\\nSome schools teach early 20th century history. This includes American imperialism in the late 19th century, World War I, and various revolutions such as the Russian Revolution. The teacher will likely cover the causes of World War I, how US affected and expanded its territory, relations with countries at this time, and revolutions.\\n2. Acing Seventh Grade Academics\\n2-1. Take notes.\\nYour teachers may not require notes for every subject, but it's still great to take notes using at least a thin notebook. The most important subjects to take notes on are math, science, and history. You can take notes in language arts too, although they'll be shorter, as you will likely only need to take notes for grammar or when reading a book for school. If you're reading an assigned book (e.g. The Diary of a Young Girl or The Giver), your teacher may require reading notes on the characters, plot, setting, and the main ideas of each chapter or section of the book. Jot down key terms and definitions. You should also provide a few examples.\\nFor math, draw diagrams and do a few example problems in your math notebook. If your school tells you to buy your own school supplies, buy a graph paper notebook. This will make it easier to line up numbers and draw shapes on coordinate planes. Your bar and line graphs will also be neater.\\nFor history, write down key events that happened, who was involved, and when they happened. For example, you could write, \\\"11/11/1918 – World War I ends\\\".\\nDon't write complete sentences for your notes! Unless you're writing down example sentences for grammar, writing whole sentences will waste your time when you want to write down as many points as possible. It will also tire your hand out faster. Use abbreviations, semicolons, bullet points, and fragments of sentences to make your notes concise. Remember, you're not copying down the whole textbook!\\n2-2. Study for tests.\\nDuring earlier grade levels such as third grade, second grade, first grade, and kindergarten, you probably did not study for tests, or at least not as much. Since elementary school concepts are easier to understand and there is usually less material, kids often have an easy time remembering most of the information. As early as third grade, tests may become harder to ace without studying for at least 10 minutes daily. Addition facts are easy to memorize, but using the area of a circle formula? That information is harder to retain in your brain over a long period.\\nAnother benefit of studying every day is that you are prepared for pop quizzes. If you only study when you have a test coming up, you may not be prepared if there is a pop quiz. If you already study with or without tests, it becomes a habit, and you'll already know the information.\\nAsk your teacher for help if you have questions about the material or your assignment.\\nTry studying with friends before a big test to have some fun and review together.\\n2-3. Use a planner.\\nIf your school gives you a school supply list, it may already include a planner on it. If your school doesn't and expects students to buy their own supplies, buy one. A planner is essentially a booklet in which you jot down important dates and assignments. These could be related to school, or they could even be about extracurriculars or clubs. Some planners already give you a full calendar with the dates for each school year printed on it, while others allow you to make your own calendar.\\nTo keep track of important dates, you could write something like, \\\"ACSL club - Fibonacci sequence project due\\\" on the day that project is due, or \\\"Math test (Topic 4)\\\" on the day that test is scheduled for.\\nYou can also keep separate planners; one for school assignments and one for fun events or extracurriculars. This makes your schedule organized, and you won't get mixed up with what's important and what's not.\\n2-4. Be organized.\\nMake sure that on your homework folder, hopefully it has two pockets, that one pocket says \\\"Finished\\\" and \\\"Not Finished\\\". That way, you can keep track of what homework you need to complete and what homework you need to turn in.\\nLabel your school supplies. On each journal (try a different color for each topic) write on the front cover what subject it is for. You could also put each journal in the subject divider for their subjects. Being organized will help you be the best student you can be!\\n2-5. Make a schedule, so you know when you have to work on homework after school.\\nMake a slot for mornings, afternoons, and evenings. Make sure to list everything in those slots on what you need to do. In the mornings, list everything you need to do in the morning. The same goes for afternoons and evenings, just make sure to write the times and what you need to do in the slots.\\n3. Social Life\\n3-1. Be friendly to everyone.\\nThis is why someone who always frowns or annoys people will not get many friends. People who seem uninterested in talking to other people (the kids who always sit alone and do not contribute to conversations) will not get many friends either. Most kids like a friendly person that will help them through challenges and talk about their day with them. Say hi to someone while on the way to class, help someone with their homework, or help clean up the classroom after class. These are all ways to be friendly. Doing this will earn you at least a few friends.\\nContrary to what some kids think, being a big bully/mean girl does not earn you friends. do this, as you don't want to ruin your reputation at the beginning of middle school! Sure, they may seem like friends to you on the outside, but on the inside, they may be as mean as you. They might make friends with you just to gain popularity, so they may fight with you to get the \\\"most popular\\\".\\n3-2. Hang out with classmates during breaks and lunch.\\nThese are the best times to hang out and get to know each other! If you don't stay in study hall or attend any clubs, you can hang out with your friends during break and lunch. You can even talk while you are going to the bathroom with them. Yes, some kids can talk anywhere; during class, in the bathroom, at lunch, during clubs/study hall, and on the bus to/from school if they use the bus to get to school. That doesn't guarantee that other kids like them though; they may make others annoyed or distracted from their schoolwork. So, only chat during appropriate times. Save conversations for breaks, lunch, and after-school times!\\nWhispering or talking to your pal during class or during an inappropriate time (e.g. during an assembly or during a trip to the principal's office) may get you into trouble, so don't do it often. If you do this too frequently, your reputation may downgrade, because you may be known as \\\"too chatty\\\" or \\\"a distraction\\\".\\n3-3. Choose an elective.\\nMiddle schools often have a wide variety of electives for students to choose. You can choose something that you enjoy or want to learn about. It's normal for interests to jump around during middle school- there's still room for developing interests. During 8th grade and high school, however, you may want to settle down, since you'll need to decide on a career path.\\nMiddle schools offer a lot of electives- some include journalism, Spanish, engineering, speech and debate, visual arts, performing arts, graphic arts, orchestra, and craft electives.\\n3-4. Join multiple clubs in your school.\\nFrom robotics to newspaper and drama, there will probably be at least one club that you're interested in. People of all grade levels and classes can join clubs, so you will find people that are older than you there. Middle schools will usually have more clubs than elementary schools, so expect there to be variety. These clubs demonstrate your interests and help you gain friends that share the same hobbies as you. For example, if you join the art club, you will find art lovers all over the club. If you attend the robotics club, a bunch of AI enthusiasts will be there.\\nBe careful not to join too many clubs, or you won't be able to get any work done. Try and stick to 2 or 3 clubs you're particularly interested in.\\nDuring a club, you can talk to the people sitting next to you. If you're rehearsing lines (say, for performing arts), rehearse with the people in the same scene and/or act as you. Rehearse your lines a couple of times, then talk a bit to get to know each other.\\n3-5. Join the student council.\\nThere are a few positions in the student council that you can run for: class representative, secretary, vice president, and president. Even though you're not the oldest, you aren't the youngest in your middle school anymore either! This means that the sixth graders will look up to you as trustworthy role models. If you feel like you're responsible and can handle being in the student council, try running! Plus, if you continually run for student council every year, you will have established that you won't give up. If you get elected for a different role each year, you might improve on your leadership skills. If you were elected as class representative in sixth grade and as secretary in seventh, you may be elected as vice president or even the president in eighth grade.\\nIf you're running for any of these positions, you will need a speech and possibly a campaign poster.\\nWrite your name in letters on your poster and make it colorful for others to notice it and actually read what it says. You could also think of a creative slogan. For example, Whig party delegates William Henry Harrison and John Tyler had a catchy slogan in the 1840 U.S. elections; \\\"Tippecanoe and Tyler Too\\\", which was originally published as \\\"Tip and Ty\\\".\\n3-6. Deal with having a crush in seventh grade.\\nThis could be your first ever love interest or your third crush. You may feel overwhelmed with emotion, whether this is your first crush or your seventh, or whether you know them or not. Sometimes it may be \\\"love at first sight\\\", in which case you may want to check if you actually love this person for more than just their looks. For others, it takes a while to develop a crush by getting to know them better, and that's ok too! You may also be very shy about having a romantic interest, and not know how to express your feelings.\\nFirstly, check if you really have a crush. If you want to hug or hold hands with the person (physical affection) and feel overly nervous or excited around them, that's a crush and not just a friend.\\nNext, decide whether or not you want to tell them. Some people don't want to let anyone know that they have feelings for the person, and that's perfectly fine. Letting it out is more satisfying though, and you really get to know whether or not they like you romantically or not. Ultimately, it's up to you whether or not you want to confess your feelings.\\nUnderstand if your crush rejects you that it is ! Don't despair- you will meet many more romantic interests over the course of middle school, high school, and college. Take time to grieve and focus on yourself.\\nTips\\nEat healthy. Don't eat too much junk food[11]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nCenters for Disease Control and Prevention\\nMain public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services\\nGo to source\\nIf you have a locker, feel free to decorate it with mirrors, notepads, and inspirational quotes! Avoid using sticky substances such as tape or glue in your locker, especially if your school doesn't allow it.\\nDoing your homework and submitting it by the due date is also a great way to have awesome grades.\\nWarnings\\nIf possible, avoid bullies. They will just destroy your self-esteem.\\nIf you see someone hurt, or being bullied, tell an adult immediately.\\nDon't pick friends that will treat you rudely.\\nDon't be rude to others. If you are, you're not going to have a lot of friends.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Seventh grade can be a big change for many. It may be your first year of middle school, and you're another step closer to high school. While being successful in seventh grade may seem like a difficult task at first, with some preparation, achieving success is possible.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding Academics in Seventh Grade\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Review and learn seventh grade math concepts.\", \"描述\": \"In seventh grade, you'll learn many math concepts that are related to things you learned in sixth grade. Seventh grade math usually encompasses fractions and integers, some geometry, and some pre-algebra. If you're in an advanced math class, you'll usually take algebra 1. (it's common for private schools and kids in advanced math courses to take algebra 1 in seventh grade).\\nYou will learn many number-related math skills in seventh grade. This includes solving proportions, integer arithmetic (such as −5−(+41){\\\\displaystyle -5-(+41)}), and fraction arithmetic (such as 3/4+4/9{\\\\displaystyle 3/4+4/9}).\\nYou will learn some basic pre-algebra. You'll solve basic equations with variables, such as x + 5 = 9 or 2x = 18. This will progress to solving inequalities, which are very similar to equations. For example, x+5>9{\\\\displaystyle x+5>9} or 2x+32<54{\\\\displaystyle 2x+32<54} are inequalities, as the two sides of the equation are not equal to each other. As usual, move the numbers to one side of the sign and the variables to one side. x>4{\\\\displaystyle x>4} in the 1st equation and 2x<22{\\\\displaystyle 2x<22} in the 2nd one. Divide both sides by 2 in the 2nd inequality, so x<11{\\\\displaystyle x<11}.\\nIf you're in an advanced class, a whole year of algebra will be taught. At first, you'll review pre-algebra. Then, it will progress to more complicated algebra (e.g. x2+6x+55=0{\\\\displaystyle x^{2}+6x+55=0}) and you'll learn how to factor out quadratic equations and how to graph them. Graphed quadratic equations are parabolas. To factor the above example, find which 2 numbers multiply to get +5{\\\\displaystyle +5} and have a difference of +6{\\\\displaystyle +6}. The numbers are 11{\\\\displaystyle 11} and 6{\\\\displaystyle 6}. You know that x2{\\\\displaystyle x^{2}} factored is just x{\\\\displaystyle x}. So, the factored version is (x+5)(x+11){\\\\displaystyle (x+5)(x+11)} In the end, you may learn a bit of geometry, such as the area and circumference of a circle, scaling drawings, and angle relationships.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn and review seventh grade grammar and writing concepts.\", \"描述\": \"You will learn more grammar concepts in seventh grade than in sixth grade. You might know the basic parts of speech like nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and prepositions, but there are still more parts of speech to be taught! Your writing will also improve, making sentences flow better and letting your claims be stronger in persuasive essays.\\nIn grammar, you'll likely learn about misplaced modifiers and fixing run-on sentences. You will probably be able to write compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences by the end of the year in addition to simple sentences. These sentences make your writing flow better instead of just writing choppy, short simple sentences. You may also learn about the different kinds of pronouns. \\nIn writing, you'll probably write essays. As usual, you'll write with more advanced vocabulary as each year goes on. You will write more persuasive essays as the year goes on. You'll know how to support each of your claims with strong evidence from a text, and to introduce your argument with a thesis.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Review and learn seventh grade reading and vocabulary.\", \"描述\": \"Seventh grade reading and vocabulary will be pretty similar to what you learned in sixth grade. However, there will be new things learnt, as usual. You may learn some more complex vocabulary words, and read longer books with fascinating plots.\\nFor reading, read books such as The Giver by Lois Lowry, New Kid by Jerry Craft, Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen, Sea of Trolls by Nancy Farmer, and Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls. \\nOlder books suitable for seventh graders include A Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt, The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, The Time Machine by H. G. Wells, and Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Review seventh grade science.\", \"描述\": \"Each school district teaches a slightly different curriculum, but most teach a combination of biology, physics, chemistry, and earth science. These topics are pretty similar to what you've learned in sixth grade, although the concepts will be more complex. There will also definitely be more terms to memorize!\\nFor biology, you may learn about genetics and heredity. Review terms like \\\"Punnett squares\\\", \\\"acquired\\\", \\\"traits\\\", \\\"alleles\\\", \\\"dominant\\\", and \\\"recessive\\\".\\nFor earth science, the classification of rocks may be taught. Know some terms, such as \\\"igneous\\\", \\\"metamorphic\\\", and \\\"sedimentary\\\".\\nIn physics, you may learn about energy transfers and energy transformations (e.g. from kinetic energy to mechanical energy). Heat transfer may also be taught.\\nIn chemistry, you may learn different types of elements and chemical bonds. Remember how to identify reactants and products and different chemical reactions.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Review and learn seventh grade history.\", \"描述\": \"Seventh grade history also depends on the school you're in, so don't expect it to be completely the same as last year. Each school focuses on a different part of history. Some may learn American history, whereas other focus more on geography, modern world history, or the medieval period of world history.\\nYou might learn about ancient history, such as Ancient Rome, Greece, Egypt, or China. If you're learning about Ancient China, you might get a taste of the important dynasties like the Song, Han, and Tang dynasties. \\nYou may get to learn about different revolutions, such as the American and French revolutions.\\nYou may get a taste of 19th century world history during the time of the Industrial Revolution, when people began mass-producing goods in factories. This caused many people to move to the cities to find factory jobs. The people owning the factories frequently mistreated their workers, resulting in strikes.\\nMany famous people such as Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller owned companies that made them one of the wealthiest people in the world at the time.\\nSome schools teach early 20th century history. This includes American imperialism in the late 19th century, World War I, and various revolutions such as the Russian Revolution. The teacher will likely cover the causes of World War I, how US affected and expanded its territory, relations with countries at this time, and revolutions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acing Seventh Grade Academics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take notes.\", \"描述\": \"Your teachers may not require notes for every subject, but it's still great to take notes using at least a thin notebook. The most important subjects to take notes on are math, science, and history. You can take notes in language arts too, although they'll be shorter, as you will likely only need to take notes for grammar or when reading a book for school. If you're reading an assigned book (e.g. The Diary of a Young Girl or The Giver), your teacher may require reading notes on the characters, plot, setting, and the main ideas of each chapter or section of the book. Jot down key terms and definitions. You should also provide a few examples.\\nFor math, draw diagrams and do a few example problems in your math notebook. If your school tells you to buy your own school supplies, buy a graph paper notebook. This will make it easier to line up numbers and draw shapes on coordinate planes. Your bar and line graphs will also be neater.\\nFor history, write down key events that happened, who was involved, and when they happened. For example, you could write, \\\"11/11/1918 – World War I ends\\\".\\nDon't write complete sentences for your notes! Unless you're writing down example sentences for grammar, writing whole sentences will waste your time when you want to write down as many points as possible. It will also tire your hand out faster. Use abbreviations, semicolons, bullet points, and fragments of sentences to make your notes concise. Remember, you're not copying down the whole textbook!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Study for tests.\", \"描述\": \"During earlier grade levels such as third grade, second grade, first grade, and kindergarten, you probably did not study for tests, or at least not as much. Since elementary school concepts are easier to understand and there is usually less material, kids often have an easy time remembering most of the information. As early as third grade, tests may become harder to ace without studying for at least 10 minutes daily. Addition facts are easy to memorize, but using the area of a circle formula? That information is harder to retain in your brain over a long period.\\nAnother benefit of studying every day is that you are prepared for pop quizzes. If you only study when you have a test coming up, you may not be prepared if there is a pop quiz. If you already study with or without tests, it becomes a habit, and you'll already know the information.\\nAsk your teacher for help if you have questions about the material or your assignment.\\nTry studying with friends before a big test to have some fun and review together.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use a planner.\", \"描述\": \"If your school gives you a school supply list, it may already include a planner on it. If your school doesn't and expects students to buy their own supplies, buy one. A planner is essentially a booklet in which you jot down important dates and assignments. These could be related to school, or they could even be about extracurriculars or clubs. Some planners already give you a full calendar with the dates for each school year printed on it, while others allow you to make your own calendar.\\nTo keep track of important dates, you could write something like, \\\"ACSL club - Fibonacci sequence project due\\\" on the day that project is due, or \\\"Math test (Topic 4)\\\" on the day that test is scheduled for.\\nYou can also keep separate planners; one for school assignments and one for fun events or extracurriculars. This makes your schedule organized, and you won't get mixed up with what's important and what's not.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be organized.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that on your homework folder, hopefully it has two pockets, that one pocket says \\\"Finished\\\" and \\\"Not Finished\\\". That way, you can keep track of what homework you need to complete and what homework you need to turn in.\\nLabel your school supplies. On each journal (try a different color for each topic) write on the front cover what subject it is for. You could also put each journal in the subject divider for their subjects. Being organized will help you be the best student you can be!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make a schedule, so you know when you have to work on homework after school.\", \"描述\": \"Make a slot for mornings, afternoons, and evenings. Make sure to list everything in those slots on what you need to do. In the mornings, list everything you need to do in the morning. The same goes for afternoons and evenings, just make sure to write the times and what you need to do in the slots.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Social Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be friendly to everyone.\", \"描述\": \"This is why someone who always frowns or annoys people will not get many friends. People who seem uninterested in talking to other people (the kids who always sit alone and do not contribute to conversations) will not get many friends either. Most kids like a friendly person that will help them through challenges and talk about their day with them. Say hi to someone while on the way to class, help someone with their homework, or help clean up the classroom after class. These are all ways to be friendly. Doing this will earn you at least a few friends.\\nContrary to what some kids think, being a big bully/mean girl does not earn you friends. do this, as you don't want to ruin your reputation at the beginning of middle school! Sure, they may seem like friends to you on the outside, but on the inside, they may be as mean as you. They might make friends with you just to gain popularity, so they may fight with you to get the \\\"most popular\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hang out with classmates during breaks and lunch.\", \"描述\": \"These are the best times to hang out and get to know each other! If you don't stay in study hall or attend any clubs, you can hang out with your friends during break and lunch. You can even talk while you are going to the bathroom with them. Yes, some kids can talk anywhere; during class, in the bathroom, at lunch, during clubs/study hall, and on the bus to/from school if they use the bus to get to school. That doesn't guarantee that other kids like them though; they may make others annoyed or distracted from their schoolwork. So, only chat during appropriate times. Save conversations for breaks, lunch, and after-school times!\\nWhispering or talking to your pal during class or during an inappropriate time (e.g. during an assembly or during a trip to the principal's office) may get you into trouble, so don't do it often. If you do this too frequently, your reputation may downgrade, because you may be known as \\\"too chatty\\\" or \\\"a distraction\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose an elective.\", \"描述\": \"Middle schools often have a wide variety of electives for students to choose. You can choose something that you enjoy or want to learn about. It's normal for interests to jump around during middle school- there's still room for developing interests. During 8th grade and high school, however, you may want to settle down, since you'll need to decide on a career path.\\nMiddle schools offer a lot of electives- some include journalism, Spanish, engineering, speech and debate, visual arts, performing arts, graphic arts, orchestra, and craft electives.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join multiple clubs in your school.\", \"描述\": \"From robotics to newspaper and drama, there will probably be at least one club that you're interested in. People of all grade levels and classes can join clubs, so you will find people that are older than you there. Middle schools will usually have more clubs than elementary schools, so expect there to be variety. These clubs demonstrate your interests and help you gain friends that share the same hobbies as you. For example, if you join the art club, you will find art lovers all over the club. If you attend the robotics club, a bunch of AI enthusiasts will be there.\\nBe careful not to join too many clubs, or you won't be able to get any work done. Try and stick to 2 or 3 clubs you're particularly interested in.\\nDuring a club, you can talk to the people sitting next to you. If you're rehearsing lines (say, for performing arts), rehearse with the people in the same scene and/or act as you. Rehearse your lines a couple of times, then talk a bit to get to know each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Join the student council.\", \"描述\": \"There are a few positions in the student council that you can run for: class representative, secretary, vice president, and president. Even though you're not the oldest, you aren't the youngest in your middle school anymore either! This means that the sixth graders will look up to you as trustworthy role models. If you feel like you're responsible and can handle being in the student council, try running! Plus, if you continually run for student council every year, you will have established that you won't give up. If you get elected for a different role each year, you might improve on your leadership skills. If you were elected as class representative in sixth grade and as secretary in seventh, you may be elected as vice president or even the president in eighth grade.\\nIf you're running for any of these positions, you will need a speech and possibly a campaign poster.\\nWrite your name in letters on your poster and make it colorful for others to notice it and actually read what it says. You could also think of a creative slogan. For example, Whig party delegates William Henry Harrison and John Tyler had a catchy slogan in the 1840 U.S. elections; \\\"Tippecanoe and Tyler Too\\\", which was originally published as \\\"Tip and Ty\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Deal with having a crush in seventh grade.\", \"描述\": \"This could be your first ever love interest or your third crush. You may feel overwhelmed with emotion, whether this is your first crush or your seventh, or whether you know them or not. Sometimes it may be \\\"love at first sight\\\", in which case you may want to check if you actually love this person for more than just their looks. For others, it takes a while to develop a crush by getting to know them better, and that's ok too! You may also be very shy about having a romantic interest, and not know how to express your feelings.\\nFirstly, check if you really have a crush. If you want to hug or hold hands with the person (physical affection) and feel overly nervous or excited around them, that's a crush and not just a friend.\\nNext, decide whether or not you want to tell them. Some people don't want to let anyone know that they have feelings for the person, and that's perfectly fine. Letting it out is more satisfying though, and you really get to know whether or not they like you romantically or not. Ultimately, it's up to you whether or not you want to confess your feelings.\\nUnderstand if your crush rejects you that it is ! Don't despair- you will meet many more romantic interests over the course of middle school, high school, and college. Take time to grieve and focus on yourself.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Eat healthy. Don't eat too much junk food[11]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nCenters for Disease Control and Prevention\\nMain public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services\\nGo to source\\n\", \"If you have a locker, feel free to decorate it with mirrors, notepads, and inspirational quotes! Avoid using sticky substances such as tape or glue in your locker, especially if your school doesn't allow it.\\n\", \"Doing your homework and submitting it by the due date is also a great way to have awesome grades.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If possible, avoid bullies. They will just destroy your self-esteem.\\n\", \"If you see someone hurt, or being bullied, tell an adult immediately.\\n\", \"Don't pick friends that will treat you rudely.\\n\", \"Don't be rude to others. If you are, you're not going to have a lot of friends.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,205 | How to Be Successful in a Relationship with a Gemini | 1. Steps
1-1. Don't take yourself too seriously.
One thing that annoys Gemini, are people who take themselves too seriously and will not enjoy at least a portion of humor. All Geminis absolutely love to laugh, they enjoy being sarcastic, and they want to have a good time. So if you have a Gemini friend, indulge them in this, because if you don't, they will take offense after a while and then abruptly decide to end the relationship without warning (due to them feeling misunderstood).
1-2. Be selfless in order to get along with Geminis who are extremely (highly) intelligent, very clever, and unbelievably resourceful.
They love to share their gifts with the world and they have a strong desire to make a positive difference. Geminis want to make a lasting impression with everyone they know and come in contact with. Geminis are very loyal to their family and friends and in many cases will sacrifice a lot just to see them happy. Geminis themselves are selfless individuals and expect others to be the same way.
1-3. Try not to argue.
Geminis are masters of communication, in all respects. You can never really win an argument with a Gemini. The more you argue with a Gemini, the more you're fueling their fire to argue even more (because they love to debate for fun, it's in their nature), so really there's no point in trying to win an argument. Geminis can articulate well and validate every move they make. They also have an ability to see all sides of an argument.
1-4. Never lie to a Gemini, because it's not a good idea.
Geminis have an unusual ability to know when people are being dishonest and once they find out you're withholding information, be deceptive (they need to know) or just straight out lying it will be a very long time, until you can gain their trust back. Geminis are caring individuals, but they will not tolerate dishonesty or lying on any level.
1-5. Respect your Geminis dignity.
People born around 20 May – 21 June are all very dignified and are very respectful of all people. Yes, they enjoy having a great time, but they also have all have a very serious, professional/business-like demeanor and it should be respected. Geminis are chameleons and are able to adapt to any given situation and due to their versatility, they can accomplish more than any other zodiac sign.
1-6. Indulge your Gemini friend with great conversations.
One thing that can irritate a Gemini is a person who cannot engage them in conversation. They find those who lack conversational skills to be very mundane. Have interesting things to talk about and keep in mind, a Gemini like to listen just as much as they enjoy speaking. Geminis are very intelligent, so don't just ramble about things you don't know about, because they have a lot of knowledge about different subjects and can tell when you're being pretentious.
1-7. Avoid being cocky or arrogant.
Geminis do not like people who are arrogant and who show off, for they feel this very distasteful, unattractive, and not becoming. Geminis do not like people who are too bossy. They are all fiercely independent and will not tolerate anyone stomping on their freedom, they need their autonomy. Geminis hate having the same routine and like to change things up more often than not. Geminis are very rational and analytical. They do not appreciate people who have tunnel vision, people who only see things in black and white, and people that are not open to the viewpoints of others, because they just don't operate in that mindset and considers it to be a weakness.
Warnings
Life with a Gemini is never a dull moment so if you like continuity you may have chosen the wrong person unless you are willing to accept this.
Gemini's love to be argumentative.
Gemini and Scorpio = argue all day.
There are 2 types of Gemini, a "high" Gemini and a "low" Gemini. Make sure you find out which you are with fast. A "low" Gemini uses his mind in all the wrong ways and will be very good at manipulating people around him. These types of Gemini are masters of deceit and as a consequence you'll never be able to trust them. A relationship without trust is one that is doomed to failure.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Don't take yourself too seriously.\\nOne thing that annoys Gemini, are people who take themselves too seriously and will not enjoy at least a portion of humor. All Geminis absolutely love to laugh, they enjoy being sarcastic, and they want to have a good time. So if you have a Gemini friend, indulge them in this, because if you don't, they will take offense after a while and then abruptly decide to end the relationship without warning (due to them feeling misunderstood).\\n1-2. Be selfless in order to get along with Geminis who are extremely (highly) intelligent, very clever, and unbelievably resourceful.\\nThey love to share their gifts with the world and they have a strong desire to make a positive difference. Geminis want to make a lasting impression with everyone they know and come in contact with. Geminis are very loyal to their family and friends and in many cases will sacrifice a lot just to see them happy. Geminis themselves are selfless individuals and expect others to be the same way.\\n1-3. Try not to argue.\\nGeminis are masters of communication, in all respects. You can never really win an argument with a Gemini. The more you argue with a Gemini, the more you're fueling their fire to argue even more (because they love to debate for fun, it's in their nature), so really there's no point in trying to win an argument. Geminis can articulate well and validate every move they make. They also have an ability to see all sides of an argument.\\n1-4. Never lie to a Gemini, because it's not a good idea.\\nGeminis have an unusual ability to know when people are being dishonest and once they find out you're withholding information, be deceptive (they need to know) or just straight out lying it will be a very long time, until you can gain their trust back. Geminis are caring individuals, but they will not tolerate dishonesty or lying on any level.\\n1-5. Respect your Geminis dignity.\\nPeople born around 20 May – 21 June are all very dignified and are very respectful of all people. Yes, they enjoy having a great time, but they also have all have a very serious, professional/business-like demeanor and it should be respected. Geminis are chameleons and are able to adapt to any given situation and due to their versatility, they can accomplish more than any other zodiac sign.\\n1-6. Indulge your Gemini friend with great conversations.\\nOne thing that can irritate a Gemini is a person who cannot engage them in conversation. They find those who lack conversational skills to be very mundane. Have interesting things to talk about and keep in mind, a Gemini like to listen just as much as they enjoy speaking. Geminis are very intelligent, so don't just ramble about things you don't know about, because they have a lot of knowledge about different subjects and can tell when you're being pretentious.\\n1-7. Avoid being cocky or arrogant.\\nGeminis do not like people who are arrogant and who show off, for they feel this very distasteful, unattractive, and not becoming. Geminis do not like people who are too bossy. They are all fiercely independent and will not tolerate anyone stomping on their freedom, they need their autonomy. Geminis hate having the same routine and like to change things up more often than not. Geminis are very rational and analytical. They do not appreciate people who have tunnel vision, people who only see things in black and white, and people that are not open to the viewpoints of others, because they just don't operate in that mindset and considers it to be a weakness.\\nWarnings\\nLife with a Gemini is never a dull moment so if you like continuity you may have chosen the wrong person unless you are willing to accept this.\\nGemini's love to be argumentative.\\nGemini and Scorpio = argue all day.\\nThere are 2 types of Gemini, a \\\"high\\\" Gemini and a \\\"low\\\" Gemini. Make sure you find out which you are with fast. A \\\"low\\\" Gemini uses his mind in all the wrong ways and will be very good at manipulating people around him. These types of Gemini are masters of deceit and as a consequence you'll never be able to trust them. A relationship without trust is one that is doomed to failure.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having a successful, enjoyable relationship is fun and rewarding. If you think you need to know how to deal with everyone born under the sign of the social Gemini in a particular way, due to their apparently unique personality traits, this article will help. To have a successful relationship of any kind with any Gemini, you will need to be willing to mix up your routine, keep your Gemini stimulated and let him or her be neurotic and unreliable without coming down too hard. Don't worry - the positive traits of a Gemini far outweigh the negative ones!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't take yourself too seriously.\", \"描述\": \"One thing that annoys Gemini, are people who take themselves too seriously and will not enjoy at least a portion of humor. All Geminis absolutely love to laugh, they enjoy being sarcastic, and they want to have a good time. So if you have a Gemini friend, indulge them in this, because if you don't, they will take offense after a while and then abruptly decide to end the relationship without warning (due to them feeling misunderstood).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be selfless in order to get along with Geminis who are extremely (highly) intelligent, very clever, and unbelievably resourceful.\", \"描述\": \"They love to share their gifts with the world and they have a strong desire to make a positive difference. Geminis want to make a lasting impression with everyone they know and come in contact with. Geminis are very loyal to their family and friends and in many cases will sacrifice a lot just to see them happy. Geminis themselves are selfless individuals and expect others to be the same way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try not to argue.\", \"描述\": \"Geminis are masters of communication, in all respects. You can never really win an argument with a Gemini. The more you argue with a Gemini, the more you're fueling their fire to argue even more (because they love to debate for fun, it's in their nature), so really there's no point in trying to win an argument. Geminis can articulate well and validate every move they make. They also have an ability to see all sides of an argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Never lie to a Gemini, because it's not a good idea.\", \"描述\": \"Geminis have an unusual ability to know when people are being dishonest and once they find out you're withholding information, be deceptive (they need to know) or just straight out lying it will be a very long time, until you can gain their trust back. Geminis are caring individuals, but they will not tolerate dishonesty or lying on any level.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Respect your Geminis dignity.\", \"描述\": \"People born around 20 May – 21 June are all very dignified and are very respectful of all people. Yes, they enjoy having a great time, but they also have all have a very serious, professional/business-like demeanor and it should be respected. Geminis are chameleons and are able to adapt to any given situation and due to their versatility, they can accomplish more than any other zodiac sign.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Indulge your Gemini friend with great conversations.\", \"描述\": \"One thing that can irritate a Gemini is a person who cannot engage them in conversation. They find those who lack conversational skills to be very mundane. Have interesting things to talk about and keep in mind, a Gemini like to listen just as much as they enjoy speaking. Geminis are very intelligent, so don't just ramble about things you don't know about, because they have a lot of knowledge about different subjects and can tell when you're being pretentious.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid being cocky or arrogant.\", \"描述\": \"Geminis do not like people who are arrogant and who show off, for they feel this very distasteful, unattractive, and not becoming. Geminis do not like people who are too bossy. They are all fiercely independent and will not tolerate anyone stomping on their freedom, they need their autonomy. Geminis hate having the same routine and like to change things up more often than not. Geminis are very rational and analytical. They do not appreciate people who have tunnel vision, people who only see things in black and white, and people that are not open to the viewpoints of others, because they just don't operate in that mindset and considers it to be a weakness.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Life with a Gemini is never a dull moment so if you like continuity you may have chosen the wrong person unless you are willing to accept this.\\n\", \"Gemini's love to be argumentative.\\n\", \"Gemini and Scorpio = argue all day.\\n\", \"There are 2 types of Gemini, a \\\"high\\\" Gemini and a \\\"low\\\" Gemini. Make sure you find out which you are with fast. A \\\"low\\\" Gemini uses his mind in all the wrong ways and will be very good at manipulating people around him. These types of Gemini are masters of deceit and as a consequence you'll never be able to trust them. A relationship without trust is one that is doomed to failure.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,206 | How to Be Successful in the Burger Tycoon Game | 1. Setting Up Your Farms and Restaurant
1-1. Start a new game.
If you already have a game started, it may be too late to save it and become profitable. Start a new game and follow these steps to quickly earn millions of dollars.
1-2. Pause your game as soon as it starts.
The following steps will cause you to go bankrupt if you don't pause your game first. You'll lose money for a little bit, but you'll quickly earn it all back. Keep the game paused for the entirety of this section of the guide.
The game will still animate while paused, which can be a bit confusing. While paused, the Play button will not be flashing.
1-3. Build three soy fields on empty pastures.
The Agriculture window is the Window that starts open by default. Click one of the empty pastures and select the "Soy" option. Repeat this until you have three.
1-4. Add genetic modification on all three fields.
Click each of the fields you just made and click the DNA button, which will enable genetic modification for the field.
1-5. Make four cow pastures on four more empty spaces.
Click another empty space and select the "Cow" option. Repeat until you have four.
At this point, you won't have any money. Don't worry! You're actually going to be going negative soon, but will then quickly go back positive.
Remember, your game should still be paused.
1-6. Click the Feedlot button.
This looks like a cow, and can be found in the lower-left corner.
1-7. Enable hormones for the food.
Click the scientific machine along the back wall and select the eyedropper option to enable hormones for the food. This is the only thing you'll need to do on this screen for the rest of the game.
1-8. Switch to the restaurant screen.
The icon is a burger, found in the lower-left corner.
1-9. Hire a single cashier and line worker.
Click one of the empty cash registers and hire a cashier. Do the same for one of the burger assembly lines in the back. You only need one of each worker for the moment.
1-10. Switch to the corporate screen.
The button for this is the McDonald's logo, found in the lower-left corner.
1-11. Corrupt a health officer.
Click the front desk in the corporate view and then click the health button. This will corrupt a health officer. You'll leave this option enabled for the rest of the game. A corrupted health officer will ensure that you don't get penalized for your poor meat quality.
2. Making Money
2-1. Switch to the pasture view.
Your next moves will be made on this screen. At this point in the game, you'll have gotten everything set up to start making money. You'll be unpausing your game and making a few changes to ensure that the money starts rolling in. You'll likely lose some money at first, but after making a few tweaks outlined below you'll be pretty much on autopilot.
2-2. Unpause your game.
Your income be negative at first, but you'll soon start to see money trickling in.
2-3. Wait for two complete soy harvests.
Before you do anything else, wait until your soy is harvested twice. This should happen in April 2002.
2-4. Remove genetic modification from one of your soy fields.
Click one of your soy fields and then click the DNA button. This will remove genetic modification from the field.
2-5. Sell the soy field you removed genetic modification from.
This will give you some money back, but more importantly it will make space.
2-6. Wait until your second cow harvest.
You'll have already had one cow harvest while waiting for your soy to finish. Your second cow harvest should happen in July 2003.
2-7. Add the rest of the staff to your restaurant.
After your second cow harvest, you're ready to fully-stock your restaurant with workers. Add workers to the other empty cash registers and assembly lines.
You'll want your restaurant fully staffed, which means you'll be adding two more cashiers and two more assembly workers.
2-8. Click the marketing department in the corporate screen.
This will display your marketing options.
2-9. Activate the food pyramid and the third-world marketing options.
These are the only marketing options you'll need for the rest of the game.
3. Maintaining Your Business
3-1. Check your cow pasture fertility.
When this degrades, you'll stop producing beef on that square. Swapping out your cow pastures will help keep your business running smoothly. You can tell fertility has degraded when there are large blank spots on the ground.
3-2. Remove the cow pastures that have degraded.
When a cow pasture is no longer fertile, you'll want to sell it off so that it is blank again. Since you built all of your pastures at the same time, they will all degrade at the same time.
Pause your game immediately after a cow harvest, then sell all of the pastures.
3-3. Corrupt a climatologist from the corporate screen.
You'll need this official corrupted before you can destroy the rainforest squares that you need for your farmland.
3-4. Destroy two rainforest squares.
You'll need this space for your new cow pastures. These are the only two occupied squares you'll need to destroy.
3-5. Build your cow pastures again.
Use the two new squares plus the two original squares that weren't being used.
3-6. Deactivate the climatologist.
After destroying the rainforests, you can deactivate the climatologist. Check the "Detractors" menu from the board room to see when it's safe to turn it off.
3-7. Keep swapping your pastures when they degrade.
Switch back and forth between the two sets of four open squares to build your pastures on.
3-8. Give your workers rewards when they become unhappy.
As your workers start to become unhappy, you can give them badges to make them happy again. This will only work for a little while.
Avoid discipline, as this rarely works.
3-9. Fire crew members who won't stay happy.
If rewards aren't working, just fire the crew member and hire a new one. This is more efficient than trying to save them.
When firing crew members, corrupt a politician from the front desk of the corporate screen. This will prevent backlash from angry employees.
3-10. Ignore what your advisors have to say.
You generally don't need to listen to any of your advisors, even if they're angry about something. You'll be making too much money to care.
3-11. Maintain your soy and beef supply.
After playing for a while, you may start to have a surplus of soy or a shortage of beef. Either get rid of a soy pasture for a while or add a beef pasture until everything balances back out, then you can switch back to your regular routine.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Setting Up Your Farms and Restaurant\\n1-1. Start a new game.\\nIf you already have a game started, it may be too late to save it and become profitable. Start a new game and follow these steps to quickly earn millions of dollars.\\n1-2. Pause your game as soon as it starts.\\nThe following steps will cause you to go bankrupt if you don't pause your game first. You'll lose money for a little bit, but you'll quickly earn it all back. Keep the game paused for the entirety of this section of the guide.\\nThe game will still animate while paused, which can be a bit confusing. While paused, the Play button will not be flashing.\\n1-3. Build three soy fields on empty pastures.\\nThe Agriculture window is the Window that starts open by default. Click one of the empty pastures and select the \\\"Soy\\\" option. Repeat this until you have three.\\n1-4. Add genetic modification on all three fields.\\nClick each of the fields you just made and click the DNA button, which will enable genetic modification for the field.\\n1-5. Make four cow pastures on four more empty spaces.\\nClick another empty space and select the \\\"Cow\\\" option. Repeat until you have four.\\nAt this point, you won't have any money. Don't worry! You're actually going to be going negative soon, but will then quickly go back positive.\\nRemember, your game should still be paused.\\n1-6. Click the Feedlot button.\\nThis looks like a cow, and can be found in the lower-left corner.\\n1-7. Enable hormones for the food.\\nClick the scientific machine along the back wall and select the eyedropper option to enable hormones for the food. This is the only thing you'll need to do on this screen for the rest of the game.\\n1-8. Switch to the restaurant screen.\\nThe icon is a burger, found in the lower-left corner.\\n1-9. Hire a single cashier and line worker.\\nClick one of the empty cash registers and hire a cashier. Do the same for one of the burger assembly lines in the back. You only need one of each worker for the moment.\\n1-10. Switch to the corporate screen.\\nThe button for this is the McDonald's logo, found in the lower-left corner.\\n1-11. Corrupt a health officer.\\nClick the front desk in the corporate view and then click the health button. This will corrupt a health officer. You'll leave this option enabled for the rest of the game. A corrupted health officer will ensure that you don't get penalized for your poor meat quality.\\n2. Making Money\\n2-1. Switch to the pasture view.\\nYour next moves will be made on this screen. At this point in the game, you'll have gotten everything set up to start making money. You'll be unpausing your game and making a few changes to ensure that the money starts rolling in. You'll likely lose some money at first, but after making a few tweaks outlined below you'll be pretty much on autopilot.\\n2-2. Unpause your game.\\nYour income be negative at first, but you'll soon start to see money trickling in.\\n2-3. Wait for two complete soy harvests.\\nBefore you do anything else, wait until your soy is harvested twice. This should happen in April 2002.\\n2-4. Remove genetic modification from one of your soy fields.\\nClick one of your soy fields and then click the DNA button. This will remove genetic modification from the field.\\n2-5. Sell the soy field you removed genetic modification from.\\nThis will give you some money back, but more importantly it will make space.\\n2-6. Wait until your second cow harvest.\\nYou'll have already had one cow harvest while waiting for your soy to finish. Your second cow harvest should happen in July 2003.\\n2-7. Add the rest of the staff to your restaurant.\\nAfter your second cow harvest, you're ready to fully-stock your restaurant with workers. Add workers to the other empty cash registers and assembly lines.\\nYou'll want your restaurant fully staffed, which means you'll be adding two more cashiers and two more assembly workers.\\n2-8. Click the marketing department in the corporate screen.\\nThis will display your marketing options.\\n2-9. Activate the food pyramid and the third-world marketing options.\\nThese are the only marketing options you'll need for the rest of the game.\\n3. Maintaining Your Business\\n3-1. Check your cow pasture fertility.\\nWhen this degrades, you'll stop producing beef on that square. Swapping out your cow pastures will help keep your business running smoothly. You can tell fertility has degraded when there are large blank spots on the ground.\\n3-2. Remove the cow pastures that have degraded.\\nWhen a cow pasture is no longer fertile, you'll want to sell it off so that it is blank again. Since you built all of your pastures at the same time, they will all degrade at the same time.\\nPause your game immediately after a cow harvest, then sell all of the pastures.\\n3-3. Corrupt a climatologist from the corporate screen.\\nYou'll need this official corrupted before you can destroy the rainforest squares that you need for your farmland.\\n3-4. Destroy two rainforest squares.\\nYou'll need this space for your new cow pastures. These are the only two occupied squares you'll need to destroy.\\n3-5. Build your cow pastures again.\\nUse the two new squares plus the two original squares that weren't being used.\\n3-6. Deactivate the climatologist.\\nAfter destroying the rainforests, you can deactivate the climatologist. Check the \\\"Detractors\\\" menu from the board room to see when it's safe to turn it off.\\n3-7. Keep swapping your pastures when they degrade.\\nSwitch back and forth between the two sets of four open squares to build your pastures on.\\n3-8. Give your workers rewards when they become unhappy.\\nAs your workers start to become unhappy, you can give them badges to make them happy again. This will only work for a little while.\\nAvoid discipline, as this rarely works.\\n3-9. Fire crew members who won't stay happy.\\nIf rewards aren't working, just fire the crew member and hire a new one. This is more efficient than trying to save them.\\nWhen firing crew members, corrupt a politician from the front desk of the corporate screen. This will prevent backlash from angry employees.\\n3-10. Ignore what your advisors have to say.\\nYou generally don't need to listen to any of your advisors, even if they're angry about something. You'll be making too much money to care.\\n3-11. Maintain your soy and beef supply.\\nAfter playing for a while, you may start to have a surplus of soy or a shortage of beef. Either get rid of a soy pasture for a while or add a beef pasture until everything balances back out, then you can switch back to your regular routine.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In Burger Tycoon, the goal of the game is to make money without regard for the ethics involved. The best way top be successful in the game is to setup a cost-effective restaurant and efficient supply chain, while bribing politicians and officials to overlook your bad deeds. Before you know it, you'll have more money than you know what to do with.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Setting Up Your Farms and Restaurant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start a new game.\", \"描述\": \"If you already have a game started, it may be too late to save it and become profitable. Start a new game and follow these steps to quickly earn millions of dollars.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pause your game as soon as it starts.\", \"描述\": \"The following steps will cause you to go bankrupt if you don't pause your game first. You'll lose money for a little bit, but you'll quickly earn it all back. Keep the game paused for the entirety of this section of the guide.\\nThe game will still animate while paused, which can be a bit confusing. While paused, the Play button will not be flashing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build three soy fields on empty pastures.\", \"描述\": \"The Agriculture window is the Window that starts open by default. Click one of the empty pastures and select the \\\"Soy\\\" option. Repeat this until you have three.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add genetic modification on all three fields.\", \"描述\": \"Click each of the fields you just made and click the DNA button, which will enable genetic modification for the field.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make four cow pastures on four more empty spaces.\", \"描述\": \"Click another empty space and select the \\\"Cow\\\" option. Repeat until you have four.\\nAt this point, you won't have any money. Don't worry! You're actually going to be going negative soon, but will then quickly go back positive.\\nRemember, your game should still be paused.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click the Feedlot button.\", \"描述\": \"This looks like a cow, and can be found in the lower-left corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Enable hormones for the food.\", \"描述\": \"Click the scientific machine along the back wall and select the eyedropper option to enable hormones for the food. This is the only thing you'll need to do on this screen for the rest of the game.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Switch to the restaurant screen.\", \"描述\": \"The icon is a burger, found in the lower-left corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Hire a single cashier and line worker.\", \"描述\": \"Click one of the empty cash registers and hire a cashier. Do the same for one of the burger assembly lines in the back. You only need one of each worker for the moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Switch to the corporate screen.\", \"描述\": \"The button for this is the McDonald's logo, found in the lower-left corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Corrupt a health officer.\", \"描述\": \"Click the front desk in the corporate view and then click the health button. This will corrupt a health officer. You'll leave this option enabled for the rest of the game. A corrupted health officer will ensure that you don't get penalized for your poor meat quality.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Money\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Switch to the pasture view.\", \"描述\": \"Your next moves will be made on this screen. At this point in the game, you'll have gotten everything set up to start making money. You'll be unpausing your game and making a few changes to ensure that the money starts rolling in. You'll likely lose some money at first, but after making a few tweaks outlined below you'll be pretty much on autopilot.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Unpause your game.\", \"描述\": \"Your income be negative at first, but you'll soon start to see money trickling in.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wait for two complete soy harvests.\", \"描述\": \"Before you do anything else, wait until your soy is harvested twice. This should happen in April 2002.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remove genetic modification from one of your soy fields.\", \"描述\": \"Click one of your soy fields and then click the DNA button. This will remove genetic modification from the field.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Sell the soy field you removed genetic modification from.\", \"描述\": \"This will give you some money back, but more importantly it will make space.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wait until your second cow harvest.\", \"描述\": \"You'll have already had one cow harvest while waiting for your soy to finish. Your second cow harvest should happen in July 2003.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Add the rest of the staff to your restaurant.\", \"描述\": \"After your second cow harvest, you're ready to fully-stock your restaurant with workers. Add workers to the other empty cash registers and assembly lines.\\nYou'll want your restaurant fully staffed, which means you'll be adding two more cashiers and two more assembly workers.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Click the marketing department in the corporate screen.\", \"描述\": \"This will display your marketing options.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Activate the food pyramid and the third-world marketing options.\", \"描述\": \"These are the only marketing options you'll need for the rest of the game.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining Your Business\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check your cow pasture fertility.\", \"描述\": \"When this degrades, you'll stop producing beef on that square. Swapping out your cow pastures will help keep your business running smoothly. You can tell fertility has degraded when there are large blank spots on the ground.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remove the cow pastures that have degraded.\", \"描述\": \"When a cow pasture is no longer fertile, you'll want to sell it off so that it is blank again. Since you built all of your pastures at the same time, they will all degrade at the same time.\\nPause your game immediately after a cow harvest, then sell all of the pastures.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Corrupt a climatologist from the corporate screen.\", \"描述\": \"You'll need this official corrupted before you can destroy the rainforest squares that you need for your farmland.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Destroy two rainforest squares.\", \"描述\": \"You'll need this space for your new cow pastures. These are the only two occupied squares you'll need to destroy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build your cow pastures again.\", \"描述\": \"Use the two new squares plus the two original squares that weren't being used.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Deactivate the climatologist.\", \"描述\": \"After destroying the rainforests, you can deactivate the climatologist. Check the \\\"Detractors\\\" menu from the board room to see when it's safe to turn it off.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep swapping your pastures when they degrade.\", \"描述\": \"Switch back and forth between the two sets of four open squares to build your pastures on.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Give your workers rewards when they become unhappy.\", \"描述\": \"As your workers start to become unhappy, you can give them badges to make them happy again. This will only work for a little while.\\nAvoid discipline, as this rarely works.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Fire crew members who won't stay happy.\", \"描述\": \"If rewards aren't working, just fire the crew member and hire a new one. This is more efficient than trying to save them.\\nWhen firing crew members, corrupt a politician from the front desk of the corporate screen. This will prevent backlash from angry employees.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Ignore what your advisors have to say.\", \"描述\": \"You generally don't need to listen to any of your advisors, even if they're angry about something. You'll be making too much money to care.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Maintain your soy and beef supply.\", \"描述\": \"After playing for a while, you may start to have a surplus of soy or a shortage of beef. Either get rid of a soy pasture for a while or add a beef pasture until everything balances back out, then you can switch back to your regular routine.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,207 | How to Be Successful on YouTube | 1. Cleaning up Your Channel
1-1. Determine your definition of success.
Being successful on YouTube can range from gathering a certain number of subscribers to making money; before you set out to optimize your YouTube channel for "success", you should know exactly what you need to accomplish in order to meet that goal.
Subscriber success is usually a matter of promoting your videos as aggressively as possible. It will take time, but you can usually build up your subscriber base in this way.
Monetary success is a bit trickier on YouTube, as you'll need to reach a lifetime video view of 10,000 and verify your account before you can start earning money.
Keep in mind that success on YouTube is still largely contingent on luck. You can do everything correctly and still not gain subscribers or amass channel views due to YouTube's algorithm.
1-2. Figure out your content area and audience.
If you don't already know what genre your videos belong to or who they're for, you'll have a hard time sticking to a specific content area, and your subscriber base won't grow due to having no real niche. Figuring out the what and the who of your videos will help streamline and focus your content.
Once your videos begin to fit a specific pattern, you can make micro-improvements to them to help them continue to fit your audience as it grows.
1-3. Create a channel
If you don't already have a YouTube channel, you'll want to set up a new YouTube channel for success by doing the following:
A unique, easy-to-remember username which summarizes your content
An eye-drawing profile picture
A concise but complete explanation of your channel's purpose
1-4. Remove dissonant videos from your channel.
If you have a channel which you've had for a while, you might want to delete the videos from your channel. This will help prevent confusion if viewers stumble across your older content while looking for your new-and-improved stuff.
You don't have to delete your old videos if they fit your content area and production value.
1-5. Link directly to your subscription box.
Any time you paste your channel's web address somewhere (e.g., in a video's description box or on social media), you can add a tag at the end of the address to link directly to the button. Anyone clicking the link will be prompted to confirm that they want to subscribe to you:
Open your channel's page.
Select the URL in the address bar.
Copy the URL by pressing Ctrl+C (Windows) or ⌘ Command+C (Mac).
Paste the URL somewhere by pressing Ctrl+V (Windows) or ⌘ Command+V (Mac).
Remove the "?view_as=subscriber" section from your channel's address.
Type ?sub_confirmation=1 at the end of your channel's address.
2. Creating Videos
2-1. Stick to making videos which align with your content area and audience.
Deviating from your established formula may cause you to lose subscribers. Remember that your viewers are on your channel to see a certain type of content.
On the other hand, if your current videos aren't receiving much in the way of engagement from your audience, it may be time to change things up.
2-2. Make sure that your videos engage viewers throughout.
Since YouTube changed their algorithm in late 2017, creators are rewarded for the length of watch time rather than individual views. This means that engaging viewers all the way through a 15-minute video will be more lucrative than losing them at the halfway point.
An easy way to ensure that users are engaged throughout the video is to minimize filler content. If you have to transition from one topic or point to another, keep the transition brief and in line with your content.
2-3. Try to lengthen your videos.
While you shouldn't add filler for filler's sake, if you have exceptionally short YouTube videos (e.g., under three minutes), you may want to increase the length by one or two minutes where possible.
Ideally, your videos will be between 8 and 12 minutes.
This is especially important if you're trying to make money while operating with a small initial subscriber base.
Don't extend your videos if your content persuasion clearly relies on short, punchy content (e.g., Tasty videos).
2-4. Determine when users stop watching.
Knowing when users are losing interest in your videos can help you change your video layout, especially if your videos all follow a specific format. You can see the point at which users stop watching your videos by doing the following:
Click your profile icon in the upper-right corner of YouTube.
Click
Click on the left side of the page.
Look at the "Average view duration" section on the right side of the page.
2-5. Use video cards to direct viewers to your other content.
Adding annotations with links to your other content will both keep your audience aware of your other content and encourage longer viewing sessions.
Make sure not to overcrowd the video player with annotations, as this can be annoying and unconvincing.
3. Optimizing Video Uploads
3-1. Use high-quality equipment.
When recording anything other than on-screen content (e.g., video game playthroughs), using high-quality camera and audio equipment can be the difference between YouTube success and average videos. Try to use the following:
A dedicated camera with high-definition (1080p) recording capabilities
A dedicated directional microphone
Lighting
While many smartphones also have HD recording capabilities, you'll want to stick to a dedicated camera when possible.
3-2. Upload at the right time.
You can ensure that people are actively viewing and responding to your content by uploading during the following times:
Monday through Wednesday — Between 2:00 PM EST and 4:00 PM EST.
Thursday through Friday — Between 12:00 PM EST and 3:00 PM EST.
Saturday through Sunday — Between 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM.
3-3. Upload consistently.
It doesn't matter whether you upload 12 times per week or once per week—just make sure you're uploading at approximately the same time for each upload. Your subscribers will come to expect this kind of consistency, so make sure you honor their time.
For example, if you establish a routine of uploading once every Tuesday and Thursday, don't randomly jump around to other days.
Uploading more than 7 times per week isn't recommended, as doing so will both flood your subscribers' subscription boxes and invariably lower the overall production value of your content.
If you have to miss a day, make sure to update your subscribers both on YouTube and in linked social media.
3-4. Use keywords in your title.
Clickbait is often frowned upon, but generic titles don't stick out enough to draw the eye. Knowing what your video is about and generating a title based on appropriate keywords will help search engines and viewers alike find your videos.
You can use the free Keyword Tool (https://keywordtool.io/youtube) to determine which keywords best fit your content area.
3-5. Don't neglect the thumbnail.
The most successful YouTube creators use distinct thumbnails for their videos. Your thumbnail should include a clear visual preview of the video's content, a word or two, and other eye-catching details (e.g., an image of your face or an explosion).
Avoid placing controversial or suggestive content in the thumbnail.
3-6. Fill out the description box.
The description box is one of the most important parts of your video, as it allows you to add context, accessibility features, and more to your video. Your description box should have most (if not all) of the following:
A description of the video
A message to your viewers (e.g., a catchphrase or a thank-you)
Time-stamps
Links to social media, a Patreon account, and/or other channels
Tags
4. Interacting with the Community
4-1. Respond to comments on your own videos.
Once you start gaining comments on your videos, you can interact with a few people per video by replying to their comments, engaging in a conversation, and/or liking their comments.
Many viewers will appreciate your interaction and view it as an incentive to visit the next video.
4-2. Implement viewer suggestions.
While you don't have to take every suggestion which comes your way, making popular tweaks to your content will both show viewers that you read their comments and demonstrate that you value their opinions.
If you don't want to take suggestions from your viewers, you can also try doing a contest with a reward or shouting out different subscribers at the end of your video.
4-3. Comment
YouTube is a social platform, and much of the support you'll find comes from other users just like you. Commenting on these users' videos will help the users while making your channel more visible.
Keep your comments polite, sincere, and non-spammy.
4-4. Link social media to your channel.
Social media pages such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all allow your viewers to see a different, non-YouTube side of you. While subscribers often enjoy this intimate peek into your private life, having social media pages for your YouTube channel also means that you can reach more people outside of your YouTube channel.
It's also good to have social media accounts in case you have to update subscribers outside of YouTube.
4-5. Add a link to a Patreon.
Many YouTubers rely on subscriber support from Patreon, which is a service that allows subscribers to pay a small monthly donation to you. Patreon is less invasive than asking for donations via PayPal or similar, and it allows you to reward your subscribers based on how much they donate per month.
This is also a great way to begin making money when you haven't yet hit the 10,000 lifetime channel views mark.
4-6. Respond positively to the work of others.
No one likes negativity, and reacting to other people's works with anything other than positivity can be detrimental to your career. There are various beneficial and caring ways to go about being positive, including the following:
Responding to popular videos with genuine praise
Creating exciting content that relates to other videos
Giving positive, constructive feedback when asked
Avoiding asking for favors, subscribers, or channel views
4-7. Be respectful.
Don’t expect anything from anyone on YouTube. The less cocky you appear, the more likely you are able to achieve success.
Remember to be respectful with people's time as well. Don't upload filler or meaningless content just for the sake of uploading.
Tips
Ignoring hateful comments is the best way to ensure that your viewers stay loyal, as they're more likely to unsubscribe if you say or do something provocative.
Being able to edit videos for YouTube is an essential skill.
While many modern laptops have built-in webcams and microphones, you'll ultimately want to avoid these in favor of higher-quality equipment.
Warnings
Plagiarism and copyright abuse will often result in a strike against your channel. Unless you're criticizing a video and thus showing parts of it under fair use, avoid using other people's content in your videos.
Always follow YouTube's guidelines, as failing to do so can result in anything from demonetization of your video(s) to channel deletion.
Avoid showing instances of terrorism, nudity, or abuse in your videos.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Cleaning up Your Channel\\n1-1. Determine your definition of success.\\nBeing successful on YouTube can range from gathering a certain number of subscribers to making money; before you set out to optimize your YouTube channel for \\\"success\\\", you should know exactly what you need to accomplish in order to meet that goal.\\nSubscriber success is usually a matter of promoting your videos as aggressively as possible. It will take time, but you can usually build up your subscriber base in this way.\\nMonetary success is a bit trickier on YouTube, as you'll need to reach a lifetime video view of 10,000 and verify your account before you can start earning money.\\nKeep in mind that success on YouTube is still largely contingent on luck. You can do everything correctly and still not gain subscribers or amass channel views due to YouTube's algorithm.\\n1-2. Figure out your content area and audience.\\nIf you don't already know what genre your videos belong to or who they're for, you'll have a hard time sticking to a specific content area, and your subscriber base won't grow due to having no real niche. Figuring out the what and the who of your videos will help streamline and focus your content.\\nOnce your videos begin to fit a specific pattern, you can make micro-improvements to them to help them continue to fit your audience as it grows.\\n1-3. Create a channel\\nIf you don't already have a YouTube channel, you'll want to set up a new YouTube channel for success by doing the following:\\nA unique, easy-to-remember username which summarizes your content\\nAn eye-drawing profile picture\\nA concise but complete explanation of your channel's purpose\\n1-4. Remove dissonant videos from your channel.\\nIf you have a channel which you've had for a while, you might want to delete the videos from your channel. This will help prevent confusion if viewers stumble across your older content while looking for your new-and-improved stuff.\\nYou don't have to delete your old videos if they fit your content area and production value.\\n1-5. Link directly to your subscription box.\\nAny time you paste your channel's web address somewhere (e.g., in a video's description box or on social media), you can add a tag at the end of the address to link directly to the button. Anyone clicking the link will be prompted to confirm that they want to subscribe to you:\\nOpen your channel's page.\\nSelect the URL in the address bar.\\nCopy the URL by pressing Ctrl+C (Windows) or ⌘ Command+C (Mac).\\nPaste the URL somewhere by pressing Ctrl+V (Windows) or ⌘ Command+V (Mac).\\nRemove the \\\"?view_as=subscriber\\\" section from your channel's address.\\nType ?sub_confirmation=1 at the end of your channel's address.\\n2. Creating Videos\\n2-1. Stick to making videos which align with your content area and audience.\\nDeviating from your established formula may cause you to lose subscribers. Remember that your viewers are on your channel to see a certain type of content.\\nOn the other hand, if your current videos aren't receiving much in the way of engagement from your audience, it may be time to change things up.\\n2-2. Make sure that your videos engage viewers throughout.\\nSince YouTube changed their algorithm in late 2017, creators are rewarded for the length of watch time rather than individual views. This means that engaging viewers all the way through a 15-minute video will be more lucrative than losing them at the halfway point.\\nAn easy way to ensure that users are engaged throughout the video is to minimize filler content. If you have to transition from one topic or point to another, keep the transition brief and in line with your content.\\n2-3. Try to lengthen your videos.\\nWhile you shouldn't add filler for filler's sake, if you have exceptionally short YouTube videos (e.g., under three minutes), you may want to increase the length by one or two minutes where possible.\\nIdeally, your videos will be between 8 and 12 minutes.\\nThis is especially important if you're trying to make money while operating with a small initial subscriber base.\\nDon't extend your videos if your content persuasion clearly relies on short, punchy content (e.g., Tasty videos).\\n2-4. Determine when users stop watching.\\nKnowing when users are losing interest in your videos can help you change your video layout, especially if your videos all follow a specific format. You can see the point at which users stop watching your videos by doing the following:\\nClick your profile icon in the upper-right corner of YouTube.\\nClick \\nClick on the left side of the page.\\nLook at the \\\"Average view duration\\\" section on the right side of the page.\\n2-5. Use video cards to direct viewers to your other content.\\nAdding annotations with links to your other content will both keep your audience aware of your other content and encourage longer viewing sessions.\\nMake sure not to overcrowd the video player with annotations, as this can be annoying and unconvincing.\\n3. Optimizing Video Uploads\\n3-1. Use high-quality equipment.\\nWhen recording anything other than on-screen content (e.g., video game playthroughs), using high-quality camera and audio equipment can be the difference between YouTube success and average videos. Try to use the following:\\nA dedicated camera with high-definition (1080p) recording capabilities\\nA dedicated directional microphone\\nLighting\\nWhile many smartphones also have HD recording capabilities, you'll want to stick to a dedicated camera when possible.\\n3-2. Upload at the right time.\\nYou can ensure that people are actively viewing and responding to your content by uploading during the following times:\\n\\nMonday through Wednesday — Between 2:00 PM EST and 4:00 PM EST.\\nThursday through Friday — Between 12:00 PM EST and 3:00 PM EST.\\nSaturday through Sunday — Between 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM.\\n3-3. Upload consistently.\\nIt doesn't matter whether you upload 12 times per week or once per week—just make sure you're uploading at approximately the same time for each upload. Your subscribers will come to expect this kind of consistency, so make sure you honor their time.\\nFor example, if you establish a routine of uploading once every Tuesday and Thursday, don't randomly jump around to other days.\\nUploading more than 7 times per week isn't recommended, as doing so will both flood your subscribers' subscription boxes and invariably lower the overall production value of your content.\\nIf you have to miss a day, make sure to update your subscribers both on YouTube and in linked social media.\\n3-4. Use keywords in your title.\\nClickbait is often frowned upon, but generic titles don't stick out enough to draw the eye. Knowing what your video is about and generating a title based on appropriate keywords will help search engines and viewers alike find your videos.\\nYou can use the free Keyword Tool (https://keywordtool.io/youtube) to determine which keywords best fit your content area.\\n3-5. Don't neglect the thumbnail.\\nThe most successful YouTube creators use distinct thumbnails for their videos. Your thumbnail should include a clear visual preview of the video's content, a word or two, and other eye-catching details (e.g., an image of your face or an explosion).\\nAvoid placing controversial or suggestive content in the thumbnail.\\n3-6. Fill out the description box.\\nThe description box is one of the most important parts of your video, as it allows you to add context, accessibility features, and more to your video. Your description box should have most (if not all) of the following:\\nA description of the video\\nA message to your viewers (e.g., a catchphrase or a thank-you)\\nTime-stamps\\nLinks to social media, a Patreon account, and/or other channels\\nTags\\n4. Interacting with the Community\\n4-1. Respond to comments on your own videos.\\nOnce you start gaining comments on your videos, you can interact with a few people per video by replying to their comments, engaging in a conversation, and/or liking their comments.\\nMany viewers will appreciate your interaction and view it as an incentive to visit the next video.\\n4-2. Implement viewer suggestions.\\nWhile you don't have to take every suggestion which comes your way, making popular tweaks to your content will both show viewers that you read their comments and demonstrate that you value their opinions.\\nIf you don't want to take suggestions from your viewers, you can also try doing a contest with a reward or shouting out different subscribers at the end of your video.\\n4-3. Comment\\nYouTube is a social platform, and much of the support you'll find comes from other users just like you. Commenting on these users' videos will help the users while making your channel more visible.\\nKeep your comments polite, sincere, and non-spammy.\\n4-4. Link social media to your channel.\\nSocial media pages such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all allow your viewers to see a different, non-YouTube side of you. While subscribers often enjoy this intimate peek into your private life, having social media pages for your YouTube channel also means that you can reach more people outside of your YouTube channel.\\nIt's also good to have social media accounts in case you have to update subscribers outside of YouTube.\\n4-5. Add a link to a Patreon.\\nMany YouTubers rely on subscriber support from Patreon, which is a service that allows subscribers to pay a small monthly donation to you. Patreon is less invasive than asking for donations via PayPal or similar, and it allows you to reward your subscribers based on how much they donate per month.\\nThis is also a great way to begin making money when you haven't yet hit the 10,000 lifetime channel views mark.\\n4-6. Respond positively to the work of others.\\nNo one likes negativity, and reacting to other people's works with anything other than positivity can be detrimental to your career. There are various beneficial and caring ways to go about being positive, including the following:\\nResponding to popular videos with genuine praise\\nCreating exciting content that relates to other videos\\nGiving positive, constructive feedback when asked\\nAvoiding asking for favors, subscribers, or channel views\\n4-7. Be respectful.\\nDon’t expect anything from anyone on YouTube. The less cocky you appear, the more likely you are able to achieve success.\\nRemember to be respectful with people's time as well. Don't upload filler or meaningless content just for the sake of uploading.\\nTips\\nIgnoring hateful comments is the best way to ensure that your viewers stay loyal, as they're more likely to unsubscribe if you say or do something provocative.\\nBeing able to edit videos for YouTube is an essential skill.\\nWhile many modern laptops have built-in webcams and microphones, you'll ultimately want to avoid these in favor of higher-quality equipment.\\nWarnings\\nPlagiarism and copyright abuse will often result in a strike against your channel. Unless you're criticizing a video and thus showing parts of it under fair use, avoid using other people's content in your videos.\\nAlways follow YouTube's guidelines, as failing to do so can result in anything from demonetization of your video(s) to channel deletion.\\nAvoid showing instances of terrorism, nudity, or abuse in your videos.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to structure your YouTube account and behavior for success. While your definition of success may vary, you can generally achieve YouTube success by streamlining your content, following specific guidelines for your videos, uploading with engagement in mind, and interacting with the YouTube community.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cleaning up Your Channel\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine your definition of success.\", \"描述\": \"Being successful on YouTube can range from gathering a certain number of subscribers to making money; before you set out to optimize your YouTube channel for \\\"success\\\", you should know exactly what you need to accomplish in order to meet that goal.\\nSubscriber success is usually a matter of promoting your videos as aggressively as possible. It will take time, but you can usually build up your subscriber base in this way.\\nMonetary success is a bit trickier on YouTube, as you'll need to reach a lifetime video view of 10,000 and verify your account before you can start earning money.\\nKeep in mind that success on YouTube is still largely contingent on luck. You can do everything correctly and still not gain subscribers or amass channel views due to YouTube's algorithm.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Figure out your content area and audience.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't already know what genre your videos belong to or who they're for, you'll have a hard time sticking to a specific content area, and your subscriber base won't grow due to having no real niche. Figuring out the what and the who of your videos will help streamline and focus your content.\\nOnce your videos begin to fit a specific pattern, you can make micro-improvements to them to help them continue to fit your audience as it grows.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a channel\", \"描述\": \"If you don't already have a YouTube channel, you'll want to set up a new YouTube channel for success by doing the following:\\nA unique, easy-to-remember username which summarizes your content\\nAn eye-drawing profile picture\\nA concise but complete explanation of your channel's purpose\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remove dissonant videos from your channel.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a channel which you've had for a while, you might want to delete the videos from your channel. This will help prevent confusion if viewers stumble across your older content while looking for your new-and-improved stuff.\\nYou don't have to delete your old videos if they fit your content area and production value.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Link directly to your subscription box.\", \"描述\": \"Any time you paste your channel's web address somewhere (e.g., in a video's description box or on social media), you can add a tag at the end of the address to link directly to the button. Anyone clicking the link will be prompted to confirm that they want to subscribe to you:\\nOpen your channel's page.\\nSelect the URL in the address bar.\\nCopy the URL by pressing Ctrl+C (Windows) or ⌘ Command+C (Mac).\\nPaste the URL somewhere by pressing Ctrl+V (Windows) or ⌘ Command+V (Mac).\\nRemove the \\\"?view_as=subscriber\\\" section from your channel's address.\\nType ?sub_confirmation=1 at the end of your channel's address.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating Videos\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick to making videos which align with your content area and audience.\", \"描述\": \"Deviating from your established formula may cause you to lose subscribers. Remember that your viewers are on your channel to see a certain type of content.\\nOn the other hand, if your current videos aren't receiving much in the way of engagement from your audience, it may be time to change things up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure that your videos engage viewers throughout.\", \"描述\": \"Since YouTube changed their algorithm in late 2017, creators are rewarded for the length of watch time rather than individual views. This means that engaging viewers all the way through a 15-minute video will be more lucrative than losing them at the halfway point.\\nAn easy way to ensure that users are engaged throughout the video is to minimize filler content. If you have to transition from one topic or point to another, keep the transition brief and in line with your content.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to lengthen your videos.\", \"描述\": \"While you shouldn't add filler for filler's sake, if you have exceptionally short YouTube videos (e.g., under three minutes), you may want to increase the length by one or two minutes where possible.\\nIdeally, your videos will be between 8 and 12 minutes.\\nThis is especially important if you're trying to make money while operating with a small initial subscriber base.\\nDon't extend your videos if your content persuasion clearly relies on short, punchy content (e.g., Tasty videos).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Determine when users stop watching.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing when users are losing interest in your videos can help you change your video layout, especially if your videos all follow a specific format. You can see the point at which users stop watching your videos by doing the following:\\nClick your profile icon in the upper-right corner of YouTube.\\nClick \\nClick on the left side of the page.\\nLook at the \\\"Average view duration\\\" section on the right side of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use video cards to direct viewers to your other content.\", \"描述\": \"Adding annotations with links to your other content will both keep your audience aware of your other content and encourage longer viewing sessions.\\nMake sure not to overcrowd the video player with annotations, as this can be annoying and unconvincing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Optimizing Video Uploads\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use high-quality equipment.\", \"描述\": \"When recording anything other than on-screen content (e.g., video game playthroughs), using high-quality camera and audio equipment can be the difference between YouTube success and average videos. Try to use the following:\\nA dedicated camera with high-definition (1080p) recording capabilities\\nA dedicated directional microphone\\nLighting\\nWhile many smartphones also have HD recording capabilities, you'll want to stick to a dedicated camera when possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Upload at the right time.\", \"描述\": \"You can ensure that people are actively viewing and responding to your content by uploading during the following times:\\n\\nMonday through Wednesday — Between 2:00 PM EST and 4:00 PM EST.\\nThursday through Friday — Between 12:00 PM EST and 3:00 PM EST.\\nSaturday through Sunday — Between 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Upload consistently.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't matter whether you upload 12 times per week or once per week—just make sure you're uploading at approximately the same time for each upload. Your subscribers will come to expect this kind of consistency, so make sure you honor their time.\\nFor example, if you establish a routine of uploading once every Tuesday and Thursday, don't randomly jump around to other days.\\nUploading more than 7 times per week isn't recommended, as doing so will both flood your subscribers' subscription boxes and invariably lower the overall production value of your content.\\nIf you have to miss a day, make sure to update your subscribers both on YouTube and in linked social media.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use keywords in your title.\", \"描述\": \"Clickbait is often frowned upon, but generic titles don't stick out enough to draw the eye. Knowing what your video is about and generating a title based on appropriate keywords will help search engines and viewers alike find your videos.\\nYou can use the free Keyword Tool (https://keywordtool.io/youtube) to determine which keywords best fit your content area.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't neglect the thumbnail.\", \"描述\": \"The most successful YouTube creators use distinct thumbnails for their videos. Your thumbnail should include a clear visual preview of the video's content, a word or two, and other eye-catching details (e.g., an image of your face or an explosion).\\nAvoid placing controversial or suggestive content in the thumbnail.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Fill out the description box.\", \"描述\": \"The description box is one of the most important parts of your video, as it allows you to add context, accessibility features, and more to your video. Your description box should have most (if not all) of the following:\\nA description of the video\\nA message to your viewers (e.g., a catchphrase or a thank-you)\\nTime-stamps\\nLinks to social media, a Patreon account, and/or other channels\\nTags\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Interacting with the Community\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respond to comments on your own videos.\", \"描述\": \"Once you start gaining comments on your videos, you can interact with a few people per video by replying to their comments, engaging in a conversation, and/or liking their comments.\\nMany viewers will appreciate your interaction and view it as an incentive to visit the next video.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Implement viewer suggestions.\", \"描述\": \"While you don't have to take every suggestion which comes your way, making popular tweaks to your content will both show viewers that you read their comments and demonstrate that you value their opinions.\\nIf you don't want to take suggestions from your viewers, you can also try doing a contest with a reward or shouting out different subscribers at the end of your video.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Comment\", \"描述\": \"YouTube is a social platform, and much of the support you'll find comes from other users just like you. Commenting on these users' videos will help the users while making your channel more visible.\\nKeep your comments polite, sincere, and non-spammy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Link social media to your channel.\", \"描述\": \"Social media pages such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all allow your viewers to see a different, non-YouTube side of you. While subscribers often enjoy this intimate peek into your private life, having social media pages for your YouTube channel also means that you can reach more people outside of your YouTube channel.\\nIt's also good to have social media accounts in case you have to update subscribers outside of YouTube.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Add a link to a Patreon.\", \"描述\": \"Many YouTubers rely on subscriber support from Patreon, which is a service that allows subscribers to pay a small monthly donation to you. Patreon is less invasive than asking for donations via PayPal or similar, and it allows you to reward your subscribers based on how much they donate per month.\\nThis is also a great way to begin making money when you haven't yet hit the 10,000 lifetime channel views mark.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respond positively to the work of others.\", \"描述\": \"No one likes negativity, and reacting to other people's works with anything other than positivity can be detrimental to your career. There are various beneficial and caring ways to go about being positive, including the following:\\nResponding to popular videos with genuine praise\\nCreating exciting content that relates to other videos\\nGiving positive, constructive feedback when asked\\nAvoiding asking for favors, subscribers, or channel views\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t expect anything from anyone on YouTube. The less cocky you appear, the more likely you are able to achieve success.\\nRemember to be respectful with people's time as well. Don't upload filler or meaningless content just for the sake of uploading.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Ignoring hateful comments is the best way to ensure that your viewers stay loyal, as they're more likely to unsubscribe if you say or do something provocative.\\n\", \"Being able to edit videos for YouTube is an essential skill.\\n\", \"While many modern laptops have built-in webcams and microphones, you'll ultimately want to avoid these in favor of higher-quality equipment.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Plagiarism and copyright abuse will often result in a strike against your channel. Unless you're criticizing a video and thus showing parts of it under fair use, avoid using other people's content in your videos.\\n\", \"Always follow YouTube's guidelines, as failing to do so can result in anything from demonetization of your video(s) to channel deletion.\\n\", \"Avoid showing instances of terrorism, nudity, or abuse in your videos.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,208 | How to Be Supportive of Divorcing Parents As an Adult | 1. Communicating
1-1. Talk to your parents.
Ask questions if you need to better understand.
If one parent has shared this news you should make sure the other parent is aware of the decision before you say anything.
It is not your place to inform the other parent.
You may have to be firm but they should be the one who informs the other parent of their wish to divorce. Don't blame them for not wanting to have the discussion but do not agree to have it for them.
Realize the decision to tell the children was very difficult and probably a major point in the process.
Be sensitive. You probably have not lived with them for some time and are not aware of all the issues that have developed
1-2. Find out who else is aware of the pending divorce.
If your siblings or step-siblings do not know, wait until your parents have had time to discuss it with each of them.
Make sure your parents inform your other siblings as soon as possible. You don't want them finding out the wrong way from the wrong person. You will need to work on this as a family and that means the family being informed.
1-3. Talk to your parents, siblings and spouse and try to determine the best time to inform your children of their grandparents' divorce.
Consider how far you live from your parents, siblings and other relatives. If they are at risk from learning this information from another relative or family friend you should make time to have a family meeting and share the news.
Explain to your children that you will be helping your parents as much as possible and your attention may be divided.
Explain that it doesn't change who their grandparents are, they will still be grandmother and grandfather. Encourage them to still speak and interact with them individually.
Consider the maturity of the child and their closeness to their grandparents.
1-4. Discuss the situation with your siblings.
Maintain a solid line of communication with them. Agree to discuss things openly and honestly.
Agree to not take sides but to share information and help each other and your parents get through this tough time.
1-5. Discuss the situation with your step-siblings if your parent has remarried.
It will be natural for everyone to take the side and look out for the best interest of the birth parent. At least try to be objective and keep the lines of communication open with your step-siblings. Try to be supportive and let them know you are available should they need anything.
2. Being supportive
2-1. Let your parents know that you will be as supportive as you can.
However, make it clear that you don't want to feel pressured to take sides.
Ask your parents to refrain from making disparaging comments about your other parent. However, since you are older and less impressionable, this may not be as big of an issue. You'll need to work this out for yourself.
Discuss this approach with your siblings.
2-2. Keep in mind prior experiences.
Remember that previous divorces, especially where there were custody battles, may have made your parents bitter and offensive about the divorce process. They may have experienced divorce as children, and therefore have certain worries and fears about their own divorce based on that childhood experience.
2-3. Don't encourage aggressive legal behavior.
Ask your siblings to do the same. Ask that everyone remain calm and accepting of what is happening; remind people that this intimate relationship is between two people and as much as all of you might want things to be different, it is inappropriate for any of you to goad your parents into legal spats.
2-4. Ask how you can help.
You may be needed to help sort and move property.
You may be needed for moral support.
You and your siblings may need to help a parent arrange for lawn care, help with laundry, etc. if that was something your other parent maintained.
2-5. Ask if you and/or your siblings need to attend meetings with attorneys or financial planners.
2-6. Suggest that your parents revise their wills, medical powers of attorney, etc.
After divorce, the status of these documents changes and they must be updated for the protection of all concerned.
2-7. Discuss with your parents any medical wishes or other long term care details that would have previously been the decision of the spouse.
Your parents may have avoided that conversation with you since you were the child and assumed the spouse would take care of those arrangements.
Find out where your parents want to be buried.
Ask if there are family burial plots that have been purchased. If the divorce will exclude a parent from the plot ask the parent where he/she would like to be buried.
If either parent has medical problems you should try to attend a doctor's appointment with that parent. Get an understanding of the condition, the medications and make sure the doctor's office changes the next of kin listed on the file.
2-8. Discuss holiday plans, events for the grandchildren and other family gatherings with your siblings.
Make sure you spend time with each parent and do your best not to exclude the other parent from holiday plans or other events.
Perhaps move family gatherings to your home or siblings house instead of your parents' home. If you do visit a parent who doesn't cook, offer to cook something there or make it potluck.
Consider having your mother over for lunch on a holiday and your father over for dinner.
2-9. Plan a trip or vacation with one or both of your parents that may allow them to try something new.
3. Staying sane
3-1. Know your limits.
As you are very close to the situation and trusted by both, it will be very easy to get sucked in too deep. It's alright to let them vent but make sure you aren't letting a parent's negativity damage your quality of life.
If a parent becomes too co-dependent, you may need to back away and become less available.
You may need to declare that the discussion of divorce is off limits for a particular day or event. Encourage them to talk about other things and get their mind off the subject for a while.
3-2. Resist taking on a parental role with your parents.
Your parents may start confusing your role as a child with a psychologist or attorney. Let them make their own decisions. Offer advice and even suggest professional help but try not to preach or become too involved.
3-3. Encourage your parents to get involved with something to distract them.
This could be volunteer work or social activities; anything to keep them busy and prevent loneliness.
Help them find hobbies and activities that involve other older adults with similar interests.
Encourage them to explore interests they never tried when they were married.
3-4. Give yourself space to grieve.
Just because you're an adult, doesn't mean you won't feel emotional about this. When your parents break up, memories of the family years together are automatically brought to the fore and it will be hard to face the fact that your parents are no longer together. Take the time to grieve and to process this information as best you can. After all, this is the end of your childhood world, and the loss doesn't go away easily.
Tips
Aunts and uncles may also be brought into the fray. Remember, they are more likely to take sides with their brother or sister. Be patient, they are also a part of the support system your parents will need. Beware of those that inflame the situation or generate excessive drama. Perhaps limit your conversations with them to only include topics of your parents' health and welfare. Discourage gossip or other problems promptly.
Many older divorcees suffer from loneliness and depression following a separation or divorce. Monitor your parents and suggest seeing a medical professional.
Discuss this situation openly with your siblings. You may really need to lean on one another, discuss problems or just vent when it would be inappropriate to discuss a certain topic so freely with your parents.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating\\n1-1. Talk to your parents.\\nAsk questions if you need to better understand.\\nIf one parent has shared this news you should make sure the other parent is aware of the decision before you say anything.\\nIt is not your place to inform the other parent.\\nYou may have to be firm but they should be the one who informs the other parent of their wish to divorce. Don't blame them for not wanting to have the discussion but do not agree to have it for them.\\nRealize the decision to tell the children was very difficult and probably a major point in the process.\\nBe sensitive. You probably have not lived with them for some time and are not aware of all the issues that have developed\\n1-2. Find out who else is aware of the pending divorce.\\nIf your siblings or step-siblings do not know, wait until your parents have had time to discuss it with each of them.\\nMake sure your parents inform your other siblings as soon as possible. You don't want them finding out the wrong way from the wrong person. You will need to work on this as a family and that means the family being informed.\\n1-3. Talk to your parents, siblings and spouse and try to determine the best time to inform your children of their grandparents' divorce.\\nConsider how far you live from your parents, siblings and other relatives. If they are at risk from learning this information from another relative or family friend you should make time to have a family meeting and share the news.\\nExplain to your children that you will be helping your parents as much as possible and your attention may be divided.\\nExplain that it doesn't change who their grandparents are, they will still be grandmother and grandfather. Encourage them to still speak and interact with them individually.\\nConsider the maturity of the child and their closeness to their grandparents.\\n1-4. Discuss the situation with your siblings.\\nMaintain a solid line of communication with them. Agree to discuss things openly and honestly.\\nAgree to not take sides but to share information and help each other and your parents get through this tough time.\\n1-5. Discuss the situation with your step-siblings if your parent has remarried.\\nIt will be natural for everyone to take the side and look out for the best interest of the birth parent. At least try to be objective and keep the lines of communication open with your step-siblings. Try to be supportive and let them know you are available should they need anything.\\n2. Being supportive\\n2-1. Let your parents know that you will be as supportive as you can.\\nHowever, make it clear that you don't want to feel pressured to take sides.\\nAsk your parents to refrain from making disparaging comments about your other parent. However, since you are older and less impressionable, this may not be as big of an issue. You'll need to work this out for yourself.\\nDiscuss this approach with your siblings.\\n2-2. Keep in mind prior experiences.\\nRemember that previous divorces, especially where there were custody battles, may have made your parents bitter and offensive about the divorce process. They may have experienced divorce as children, and therefore have certain worries and fears about their own divorce based on that childhood experience.\\n2-3. Don't encourage aggressive legal behavior.\\nAsk your siblings to do the same. Ask that everyone remain calm and accepting of what is happening; remind people that this intimate relationship is between two people and as much as all of you might want things to be different, it is inappropriate for any of you to goad your parents into legal spats.\\n2-4. Ask how you can help.\\nYou may be needed to help sort and move property.\\nYou may be needed for moral support.\\nYou and your siblings may need to help a parent arrange for lawn care, help with laundry, etc. if that was something your other parent maintained.\\n2-5. Ask if you and/or your siblings need to attend meetings with attorneys or financial planners.\\n\\n2-6. Suggest that your parents revise their wills, medical powers of attorney, etc.\\nAfter divorce, the status of these documents changes and they must be updated for the protection of all concerned.\\n2-7. Discuss with your parents any medical wishes or other long term care details that would have previously been the decision of the spouse.\\nYour parents may have avoided that conversation with you since you were the child and assumed the spouse would take care of those arrangements.\\nFind out where your parents want to be buried.\\nAsk if there are family burial plots that have been purchased. If the divorce will exclude a parent from the plot ask the parent where he/she would like to be buried.\\nIf either parent has medical problems you should try to attend a doctor's appointment with that parent. Get an understanding of the condition, the medications and make sure the doctor's office changes the next of kin listed on the file.\\n2-8. Discuss holiday plans, events for the grandchildren and other family gatherings with your siblings.\\nMake sure you spend time with each parent and do your best not to exclude the other parent from holiday plans or other events.\\nPerhaps move family gatherings to your home or siblings house instead of your parents' home. If you do visit a parent who doesn't cook, offer to cook something there or make it potluck.\\nConsider having your mother over for lunch on a holiday and your father over for dinner.\\n2-9. Plan a trip or vacation with one or both of your parents that may allow them to try something new.\\n\\n3. Staying sane\\n3-1. Know your limits.\\nAs you are very close to the situation and trusted by both, it will be very easy to get sucked in too deep. It's alright to let them vent but make sure you aren't letting a parent's negativity damage your quality of life.\\nIf a parent becomes too co-dependent, you may need to back away and become less available.\\nYou may need to declare that the discussion of divorce is off limits for a particular day or event. Encourage them to talk about other things and get their mind off the subject for a while.\\n3-2. Resist taking on a parental role with your parents.\\nYour parents may start confusing your role as a child with a psychologist or attorney. Let them make their own decisions. Offer advice and even suggest professional help but try not to preach or become too involved.\\n3-3. Encourage your parents to get involved with something to distract them.\\nThis could be volunteer work or social activities; anything to keep them busy and prevent loneliness.\\nHelp them find hobbies and activities that involve other older adults with similar interests.\\nEncourage them to explore interests they never tried when they were married.\\n3-4. Give yourself space to grieve.\\nJust because you're an adult, doesn't mean you won't feel emotional about this. When your parents break up, memories of the family years together are automatically brought to the fore and it will be hard to face the fact that your parents are no longer together. Take the time to grieve and to process this information as best you can. After all, this is the end of your childhood world, and the loss doesn't go away easily.\\nTips\\nAunts and uncles may also be brought into the fray. Remember, they are more likely to take sides with their brother or sister. Be patient, they are also a part of the support system your parents will need. Beware of those that inflame the situation or generate excessive drama. Perhaps limit your conversations with them to only include topics of your parents' health and welfare. Discourage gossip or other problems promptly.\\nMany older divorcees suffer from loneliness and depression following a separation or divorce. Monitor your parents and suggest seeing a medical professional.\\nDiscuss this situation openly with your siblings. You may really need to lean on one another, discuss problems or just vent when it would be inappropriate to discuss a certain topic so freely with your parents.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Parents divorce at all ages. When the parents of adult children divorce the children are faced with different circumstances, dealing with their own grief, dealing with their family and trying to be helpful to the parents. Because you are older you will probably be more involved in this process. Because you are trusted and mature you will probably become a resource for your parents. Keep reading on tips to help you be supportive and helpful during this painful process while managing your own home, family and sanity.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to your parents.\", \"描述\": \"Ask questions if you need to better understand.\\nIf one parent has shared this news you should make sure the other parent is aware of the decision before you say anything.\\nIt is not your place to inform the other parent.\\nYou may have to be firm but they should be the one who informs the other parent of their wish to divorce. Don't blame them for not wanting to have the discussion but do not agree to have it for them.\\nRealize the decision to tell the children was very difficult and probably a major point in the process.\\nBe sensitive. You probably have not lived with them for some time and are not aware of all the issues that have developed\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find out who else is aware of the pending divorce.\", \"描述\": \"If your siblings or step-siblings do not know, wait until your parents have had time to discuss it with each of them.\\nMake sure your parents inform your other siblings as soon as possible. You don't want them finding out the wrong way from the wrong person. You will need to work on this as a family and that means the family being informed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to your parents, siblings and spouse and try to determine the best time to inform your children of their grandparents' divorce.\", \"描述\": \"Consider how far you live from your parents, siblings and other relatives. If they are at risk from learning this information from another relative or family friend you should make time to have a family meeting and share the news.\\nExplain to your children that you will be helping your parents as much as possible and your attention may be divided.\\nExplain that it doesn't change who their grandparents are, they will still be grandmother and grandfather. Encourage them to still speak and interact with them individually.\\nConsider the maturity of the child and their closeness to their grandparents.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Discuss the situation with your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Maintain a solid line of communication with them. Agree to discuss things openly and honestly.\\nAgree to not take sides but to share information and help each other and your parents get through this tough time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Discuss the situation with your step-siblings if your parent has remarried.\", \"描述\": \"It will be natural for everyone to take the side and look out for the best interest of the birth parent. At least try to be objective and keep the lines of communication open with your step-siblings. Try to be supportive and let them know you are available should they need anything.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being supportive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your parents know that you will be as supportive as you can.\", \"描述\": \"However, make it clear that you don't want to feel pressured to take sides.\\nAsk your parents to refrain from making disparaging comments about your other parent. However, since you are older and less impressionable, this may not be as big of an issue. You'll need to work this out for yourself.\\nDiscuss this approach with your siblings.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep in mind prior experiences.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that previous divorces, especially where there were custody battles, may have made your parents bitter and offensive about the divorce process. They may have experienced divorce as children, and therefore have certain worries and fears about their own divorce based on that childhood experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't encourage aggressive legal behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your siblings to do the same. Ask that everyone remain calm and accepting of what is happening; remind people that this intimate relationship is between two people and as much as all of you might want things to be different, it is inappropriate for any of you to goad your parents into legal spats.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask how you can help.\", \"描述\": \"You may be needed to help sort and move property.\\nYou may be needed for moral support.\\nYou and your siblings may need to help a parent arrange for lawn care, help with laundry, etc. if that was something your other parent maintained.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask if you and/or your siblings need to attend meetings with attorneys or financial planners.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Suggest that your parents revise their wills, medical powers of attorney, etc.\", \"描述\": \"After divorce, the status of these documents changes and they must be updated for the protection of all concerned.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Discuss with your parents any medical wishes or other long term care details that would have previously been the decision of the spouse.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents may have avoided that conversation with you since you were the child and assumed the spouse would take care of those arrangements.\\nFind out where your parents want to be buried.\\nAsk if there are family burial plots that have been purchased. If the divorce will exclude a parent from the plot ask the parent where he/she would like to be buried.\\nIf either parent has medical problems you should try to attend a doctor's appointment with that parent. Get an understanding of the condition, the medications and make sure the doctor's office changes the next of kin listed on the file.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Discuss holiday plans, events for the grandchildren and other family gatherings with your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you spend time with each parent and do your best not to exclude the other parent from holiday plans or other events.\\nPerhaps move family gatherings to your home or siblings house instead of your parents' home. If you do visit a parent who doesn't cook, offer to cook something there or make it potluck.\\nConsider having your mother over for lunch on a holiday and your father over for dinner.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Plan a trip or vacation with one or both of your parents that may allow them to try something new.\", \"描述\": \"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying sane\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know your limits.\", \"描述\": \"As you are very close to the situation and trusted by both, it will be very easy to get sucked in too deep. It's alright to let them vent but make sure you aren't letting a parent's negativity damage your quality of life.\\nIf a parent becomes too co-dependent, you may need to back away and become less available.\\nYou may need to declare that the discussion of divorce is off limits for a particular day or event. Encourage them to talk about other things and get their mind off the subject for a while.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Resist taking on a parental role with your parents.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents may start confusing your role as a child with a psychologist or attorney. Let them make their own decisions. Offer advice and even suggest professional help but try not to preach or become too involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Encourage your parents to get involved with something to distract them.\", \"描述\": \"This could be volunteer work or social activities; anything to keep them busy and prevent loneliness.\\nHelp them find hobbies and activities that involve other older adults with similar interests.\\nEncourage them to explore interests they never tried when they were married.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give yourself space to grieve.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you're an adult, doesn't mean you won't feel emotional about this. When your parents break up, memories of the family years together are automatically brought to the fore and it will be hard to face the fact that your parents are no longer together. Take the time to grieve and to process this information as best you can. After all, this is the end of your childhood world, and the loss doesn't go away easily.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Aunts and uncles may also be brought into the fray. Remember, they are more likely to take sides with their brother or sister. Be patient, they are also a part of the support system your parents will need. Beware of those that inflame the situation or generate excessive drama. Perhaps limit your conversations with them to only include topics of your parents' health and welfare. Discourage gossip or other problems promptly.\\n\", \"Many older divorcees suffer from loneliness and depression following a separation or divorce. Monitor your parents and suggest seeing a medical professional.\\n\", \"Discuss this situation openly with your siblings. You may really need to lean on one another, discuss problems or just vent when it would be inappropriate to discuss a certain topic so freely with your parents.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,209 | How to Be Supportive of a Friend With HIV | 1. Showing That You Care
1-1. Educate yourself.
There are many myths surrounding the disease, and the first thing to do is understand the basic facts about HIV to best help your friend cope with the side effects. As you learn about HIV, also address your own biases, fears, and concerns.
HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus, meaning it affects the body’s immune system and its ability to fight off disease. HIV is not the same as AIDS, but it can develop into AIDS.
There is no cure for HIV, but scientists have developed medication that allows people with HIV to live long and healthy lives.
HIV is spread through sexual contact, needle-sharing, or from an infected mother to her child during pregnancy.
HIV cannot be contracted through normal day-to-day contact, insect bites, kissing, coughing, or sharing utensils.
1-2. Keep it confidential.
If your friend confided in you, it means they trust you. Don’t break that trust by telling other people. Your friend’s medical information is personal and private. Keep the information to yourself and let your friend know that you won’t discuss their diagnosis with others.
You can also ask your friend how they would like for you to respond when others try to get information out of you. For example, you could say, “When people at school ask me why you miss so much class, what do you want me to say? I don’t really feel comfortable sharing that you’re at doctor’s appointments.”
1-3. Let them know you are there for them.
Understand what works best for your friend and try to help them out in the most natural way possible. Don’t change how you interact with them - remember that they are still the same person, and that the HIV has not changed them.
Start by asking “Do you feel like talking about it?” to let them know you are there if they want to talk. Don’t try to ignore the topic, because then they may think you are ashamed to talk about it. If they don’t want to talk, that’s okay - don’t force it. They may want to forget about it for a while. Spend time with them doing things that you would normally do when hanging out together. Take them out to the movies or plan a weekend of activities to take their mind off of it.
If they do want to talk, talk about the disease in an open and honest way. Follow your friend’s lead. Ask them questions to show them you are engaged and interested to learn more in order to help them throughout the process. It may also help them to feel less self-conscious, ashamed, or embarrassed.
Do what you can to keep things between the two of you as normal as possible. Share your feelings and concerns with your friend to show them that even though they have HIV, you still need them. Also, keep them updated on the usual social gossip from school or work so that they continue to feel included in daily life.
2. Helping Them Cope
2-1. Offer to help in specific, practical ways.
Instead of saying “let me know if there is anything I can do,” which is vague and requires them to reach out to you first, try to pinpoint specific ways in which your assistance may be most valuable.
For example, if they have to miss a day of class, ask something like, “How can I help you with school when you have medical appointments?” Take it upon yourself to take notes from them during the lecture and bring it to them afterwards. You can even offer to tutor them or discuss the notes so they get a more complete picture of the material they missed.
Offer to give them a ride to and from their doctor’s appointments, run errands with them, or go grocery shopping with them.
If you are still having trouble figuring out how you can help, ask them specifically what they could use; let them tell you what would be most helpful. Try saying something like, “I have a lot of free time on my hands right now and I would love to help you out in any way I can. Is there something I can do to take some things off your plate?” Keep checking in with them regularly.
2-2. Let your friend vent about the emotional aspects of the diagnosis.
The stress that comes with learning of an HIV diagnosis often manifests itself in a variety of different emotions, like denial, anger, and sadness. Let your friend know it’s okay to let those emotions out.
Ask them how they are doing when spending time with them one-on-one, to give them the opportunity to talk on a more personal level.
Be a good listener. Sometimes just being there for them to confide in is the best kind of support.
Be careful not to nag them about talking about their diagnosis, however. If they don’t feel like talking about it, leave it - they may want to get their mind off of it for a while.
2-3. Direct your friend to support services.
Your friend’s diagnosis may lead to anxiety, depression, or substance abuse, in which case professional, outside help might be helpful. Examples include seeing a therapist or signing up for a support group.
It can be hard to bring up the subject of therapy and counseling. Start out by saying, “I’ve noticed you’ve been more [sad, down, irritated…] lately, and I’m worried about you. Have you ever considered talking to a therapist?”
If you’ve ever done counseling, it may help to share your own experiences about how it helped you to make them feel less embarrassed and scared.
If they agree to see a professional, help them find one. Many of the HIV resource centers, testing sights, and care services throughout the country have therapists available who are trained to guide people who are newly diagnosed. Find their contact information and pass it along to your friend.
You can also contact your local community mental health center to see if they can point you in the direction of an appropriate professional who may be able to help.
Make sure to honor your friend’s privacy as you do your research and try to find recommendations.
2-4. Encourage treatment.
When HIV is caught early and a patient follows ART (antiretroviral therapy), it can keep the virus under control and prevent it from progressing into AIDS or spreading to others.
Make sure they see a doctor and adhere to their medication. It is important for your friend to take their medication every day, exactly as prescribed. If they are forgetful, ask if you can help by giving reminders about medications and appointments, or offer to drive them to the doctor’s office.
2-5. Avoid situations that could put your friend’s health at risk.
Because your friend’s immune system is compromised, they are more likely to get sick by viral and bacterial infections. Even if they are taking Antiretroviral therapy (ART) medications regularly, there is still a risk. Encourage them not to expose themselves to people with contagious illnesses and environments where germs and illnesses are more prevalent.
For example, if your sibling has bronchitis, don’t invite your friend with HIV over for a sleepover.
2-6. Encourage your friend to live a healthy lifestyle.
HIV can take a toll on your body and overall health. To keep your friend feeling as strong and healthy as possible, encourage them to eat well and to exercise often. Your friend should aim to eat a balanced diet that contains many fruits, vegetables, and starchy carbohydrates, as well as some lean protein and dairy. Also, try to encourage your friend to do cardio or aerobic exercises, resistance training, and/or flexibility training regularly.
2-7. Take care of yourself, too.
It can be hard having a friend with a HIV because you often feel very attached to their emotions - when they are sad, you feel sad too. The best way to support someone else is to first make sure you are in a good place personally.
Try to stay in tune with your own emotions. If you are feeling run down, it’s okay to take a break from being with your friend and take some time for yourself.
Do not take on the entire burden of providing support for your friend. You are likely part of a bigger support system - like your friends’ parents, siblings, and other friends. Talk to them! It is likely they are feeling the same way as you and it can help to talk things out with them if you need to.
If your sexual partner has been diagnosed with HIV, get tested yourself and make sure you are engaging in safe sex practices.
3. Battling Stigma
3-1. Help your friend deal with stigma.
Many people have misconceptions about HIV and view the disease as disgraceful or taboo. This may lead to your friend feeling isolated or ashamed of having HIV, even if no one knows about their diagnosis.
Remind your friend of all the successful people, such as famous actors or athletes (i.e. Magic Johnson), who are living with HIV and have disclosed their status to promote awareness and break down the stigma.
Help your friend find personal stories from others living with HIV from online blogs and websites. These can be very comforting and empowering.
Tell your friend about the misconceptions you had before you learned more about HIV and give examples of how you changed your mind based on facts.
In the case that your friend’s HIV status is public, they may be insulted, rejected, gossiped about, or excluded from social activities. If you see this happening to them, stand up for them. Remind them that the bullies are most likely ignorant about HIV. Explain to the bullies, in a kind and patient way, that your friend has not changed as a result of the diagnosis and educate them about the misconceptions that they might have about HIV. Set an example by spending time with your friend in public, or eating lunch with them at school.
If you feel like things are getting out of hand or you can’t stand up to the bullies alone, don’t hesitate to involve a teacher or other adult who knows of your friend’s health condition. Even if they don’t, you can still report the bullying without disclosing their HIV status.
3-2. Be there for your friend if they choose to disclose their diagnosis with others.
Telling people about their HIV status can be a nerve-racking experience, especially if they don’t know how others will react. Offer to be there when they share the news with someone if it makes them feel more comfortable.
It will also give you the opportunity to provide advice to the other person on how they can be a supportive friend, as well.
3-3. Honor your friend by making contributions to related charities or registering for an AIDS walk.
Round up your friends and do it together. Not only will it show your friend you care, it will help raise funds for prevention and awareness services in your area. Again, in the spirit of confidentiality, don’t mention your friend’s name unless they say it’s okay.
Tips
Confidentiality is key. Unless your friend tells you it's okay, do not tell anyone about their HIV status.
Even if your friend doesn't want to talk, hanging out with them and doing activities to distract them is a great way to be supportive.
If you feel overwhelmed, reach out for help and encourage your friend to seek professional assistance for more emotional support.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Showing That You Care\\n1-1. Educate yourself.\\nThere are many myths surrounding the disease, and the first thing to do is understand the basic facts about HIV to best help your friend cope with the side effects. As you learn about HIV, also address your own biases, fears, and concerns.\\nHIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus, meaning it affects the body’s immune system and its ability to fight off disease. HIV is not the same as AIDS, but it can develop into AIDS.\\nThere is no cure for HIV, but scientists have developed medication that allows people with HIV to live long and healthy lives.\\nHIV is spread through sexual contact, needle-sharing, or from an infected mother to her child during pregnancy.\\nHIV cannot be contracted through normal day-to-day contact, insect bites, kissing, coughing, or sharing utensils.\\n1-2. Keep it confidential.\\nIf your friend confided in you, it means they trust you. Don’t break that trust by telling other people. Your friend’s medical information is personal and private. Keep the information to yourself and let your friend know that you won’t discuss their diagnosis with others.\\nYou can also ask your friend how they would like for you to respond when others try to get information out of you. For example, you could say, “When people at school ask me why you miss so much class, what do you want me to say? I don’t really feel comfortable sharing that you’re at doctor’s appointments.”\\n1-3. Let them know you are there for them.\\nUnderstand what works best for your friend and try to help them out in the most natural way possible. Don’t change how you interact with them - remember that they are still the same person, and that the HIV has not changed them.\\nStart by asking “Do you feel like talking about it?” to let them know you are there if they want to talk. Don’t try to ignore the topic, because then they may think you are ashamed to talk about it. If they don’t want to talk, that’s okay - don’t force it. They may want to forget about it for a while. Spend time with them doing things that you would normally do when hanging out together. Take them out to the movies or plan a weekend of activities to take their mind off of it.\\nIf they do want to talk, talk about the disease in an open and honest way. Follow your friend’s lead. Ask them questions to show them you are engaged and interested to learn more in order to help them throughout the process. It may also help them to feel less self-conscious, ashamed, or embarrassed.\\nDo what you can to keep things between the two of you as normal as possible. Share your feelings and concerns with your friend to show them that even though they have HIV, you still need them. Also, keep them updated on the usual social gossip from school or work so that they continue to feel included in daily life.\\n2. Helping Them Cope\\n2-1. Offer to help in specific, practical ways.\\nInstead of saying “let me know if there is anything I can do,” which is vague and requires them to reach out to you first, try to pinpoint specific ways in which your assistance may be most valuable.\\nFor example, if they have to miss a day of class, ask something like, “How can I help you with school when you have medical appointments?” Take it upon yourself to take notes from them during the lecture and bring it to them afterwards. You can even offer to tutor them or discuss the notes so they get a more complete picture of the material they missed.\\nOffer to give them a ride to and from their doctor’s appointments, run errands with them, or go grocery shopping with them.\\nIf you are still having trouble figuring out how you can help, ask them specifically what they could use; let them tell you what would be most helpful. Try saying something like, “I have a lot of free time on my hands right now and I would love to help you out in any way I can. Is there something I can do to take some things off your plate?” Keep checking in with them regularly.\\n2-2. Let your friend vent about the emotional aspects of the diagnosis.\\nThe stress that comes with learning of an HIV diagnosis often manifests itself in a variety of different emotions, like denial, anger, and sadness. Let your friend know it’s okay to let those emotions out.\\nAsk them how they are doing when spending time with them one-on-one, to give them the opportunity to talk on a more personal level.\\nBe a good listener. Sometimes just being there for them to confide in is the best kind of support.\\nBe careful not to nag them about talking about their diagnosis, however. If they don’t feel like talking about it, leave it - they may want to get their mind off of it for a while.\\n2-3. Direct your friend to support services.\\nYour friend’s diagnosis may lead to anxiety, depression, or substance abuse, in which case professional, outside help might be helpful. Examples include seeing a therapist or signing up for a support group.\\nIt can be hard to bring up the subject of therapy and counseling. Start out by saying, “I’ve noticed you’ve been more [sad, down, irritated…] lately, and I’m worried about you. Have you ever considered talking to a therapist?”\\nIf you’ve ever done counseling, it may help to share your own experiences about how it helped you to make them feel less embarrassed and scared.\\nIf they agree to see a professional, help them find one. Many of the HIV resource centers, testing sights, and care services throughout the country have therapists available who are trained to guide people who are newly diagnosed. Find their contact information and pass it along to your friend.\\nYou can also contact your local community mental health center to see if they can point you in the direction of an appropriate professional who may be able to help.\\nMake sure to honor your friend’s privacy as you do your research and try to find recommendations.\\n2-4. Encourage treatment.\\nWhen HIV is caught early and a patient follows ART (antiretroviral therapy), it can keep the virus under control and prevent it from progressing into AIDS or spreading to others.\\nMake sure they see a doctor and adhere to their medication. It is important for your friend to take their medication every day, exactly as prescribed. If they are forgetful, ask if you can help by giving reminders about medications and appointments, or offer to drive them to the doctor’s office.\\n2-5. Avoid situations that could put your friend’s health at risk.\\nBecause your friend’s immune system is compromised, they are more likely to get sick by viral and bacterial infections. Even if they are taking Antiretroviral therapy (ART) medications regularly, there is still a risk. Encourage them not to expose themselves to people with contagious illnesses and environments where germs and illnesses are more prevalent.\\nFor example, if your sibling has bronchitis, don’t invite your friend with HIV over for a sleepover.\\n2-6. Encourage your friend to live a healthy lifestyle.\\nHIV can take a toll on your body and overall health. To keep your friend feeling as strong and healthy as possible, encourage them to eat well and to exercise often. Your friend should aim to eat a balanced diet that contains many fruits, vegetables, and starchy carbohydrates, as well as some lean protein and dairy. Also, try to encourage your friend to do cardio or aerobic exercises, resistance training, and/or flexibility training regularly.\\n2-7. Take care of yourself, too.\\nIt can be hard having a friend with a HIV because you often feel very attached to their emotions - when they are sad, you feel sad too. The best way to support someone else is to first make sure you are in a good place personally.\\nTry to stay in tune with your own emotions. If you are feeling run down, it’s okay to take a break from being with your friend and take some time for yourself.\\nDo not take on the entire burden of providing support for your friend. You are likely part of a bigger support system - like your friends’ parents, siblings, and other friends. Talk to them! It is likely they are feeling the same way as you and it can help to talk things out with them if you need to.\\nIf your sexual partner has been diagnosed with HIV, get tested yourself and make sure you are engaging in safe sex practices.\\n3. Battling Stigma\\n3-1. Help your friend deal with stigma.\\nMany people have misconceptions about HIV and view the disease as disgraceful or taboo. This may lead to your friend feeling isolated or ashamed of having HIV, even if no one knows about their diagnosis.\\nRemind your friend of all the successful people, such as famous actors or athletes (i.e. Magic Johnson), who are living with HIV and have disclosed their status to promote awareness and break down the stigma.\\nHelp your friend find personal stories from others living with HIV from online blogs and websites. These can be very comforting and empowering.\\nTell your friend about the misconceptions you had before you learned more about HIV and give examples of how you changed your mind based on facts.\\nIn the case that your friend’s HIV status is public, they may be insulted, rejected, gossiped about, or excluded from social activities. If you see this happening to them, stand up for them. Remind them that the bullies are most likely ignorant about HIV. Explain to the bullies, in a kind and patient way, that your friend has not changed as a result of the diagnosis and educate them about the misconceptions that they might have about HIV. Set an example by spending time with your friend in public, or eating lunch with them at school.\\nIf you feel like things are getting out of hand or you can’t stand up to the bullies alone, don’t hesitate to involve a teacher or other adult who knows of your friend’s health condition. Even if they don’t, you can still report the bullying without disclosing their HIV status.\\n3-2. Be there for your friend if they choose to disclose their diagnosis with others.\\nTelling people about their HIV status can be a nerve-racking experience, especially if they don’t know how others will react. Offer to be there when they share the news with someone if it makes them feel more comfortable.\\nIt will also give you the opportunity to provide advice to the other person on how they can be a supportive friend, as well.\\n3-3. Honor your friend by making contributions to related charities or registering for an AIDS walk.\\nRound up your friends and do it together. Not only will it show your friend you care, it will help raise funds for prevention and awareness services in your area. Again, in the spirit of confidentiality, don’t mention your friend’s name unless they say it’s okay.\\nTips\\nConfidentiality is key. Unless your friend tells you it's okay, do not tell anyone about their HIV status.\\nEven if your friend doesn't want to talk, hanging out with them and doing activities to distract them is a great way to be supportive.\\nIf you feel overwhelmed, reach out for help and encourage your friend to seek professional assistance for more emotional support.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"HIV diagnosis can be a life-changing, traumatic event in someone's life. Knowing what you can do as a supportive friend or family member can help the victim tremendously as they learn to lead a happy, healthy life while managing their disease. There is no single way to support someone who is dealing with HIV, as the disease affects everyone differently, everyone handles their symptoms and struggles differently, and people require varying levels of support. The important thing is to let your friend lead, show them that you care, and offer support by helping them cope.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Showing That You Care\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Educate yourself.\", \"描述\": \"There are many myths surrounding the disease, and the first thing to do is understand the basic facts about HIV to best help your friend cope with the side effects. As you learn about HIV, also address your own biases, fears, and concerns.\\nHIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus, meaning it affects the body’s immune system and its ability to fight off disease. HIV is not the same as AIDS, but it can develop into AIDS.\\nThere is no cure for HIV, but scientists have developed medication that allows people with HIV to live long and healthy lives.\\nHIV is spread through sexual contact, needle-sharing, or from an infected mother to her child during pregnancy.\\nHIV cannot be contracted through normal day-to-day contact, insect bites, kissing, coughing, or sharing utensils.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep it confidential.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend confided in you, it means they trust you. Don’t break that trust by telling other people. Your friend’s medical information is personal and private. Keep the information to yourself and let your friend know that you won’t discuss their diagnosis with others.\\nYou can also ask your friend how they would like for you to respond when others try to get information out of you. For example, you could say, “When people at school ask me why you miss so much class, what do you want me to say? I don’t really feel comfortable sharing that you’re at doctor’s appointments.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let them know you are there for them.\", \"描述\": \"Understand what works best for your friend and try to help them out in the most natural way possible. Don’t change how you interact with them - remember that they are still the same person, and that the HIV has not changed them.\\nStart by asking “Do you feel like talking about it?” to let them know you are there if they want to talk. Don’t try to ignore the topic, because then they may think you are ashamed to talk about it. If they don’t want to talk, that’s okay - don’t force it. They may want to forget about it for a while. Spend time with them doing things that you would normally do when hanging out together. Take them out to the movies or plan a weekend of activities to take their mind off of it.\\nIf they do want to talk, talk about the disease in an open and honest way. Follow your friend’s lead. Ask them questions to show them you are engaged and interested to learn more in order to help them throughout the process. It may also help them to feel less self-conscious, ashamed, or embarrassed.\\nDo what you can to keep things between the two of you as normal as possible. Share your feelings and concerns with your friend to show them that even though they have HIV, you still need them. Also, keep them updated on the usual social gossip from school or work so that they continue to feel included in daily life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Helping Them Cope\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer to help in specific, practical ways.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of saying “let me know if there is anything I can do,” which is vague and requires them to reach out to you first, try to pinpoint specific ways in which your assistance may be most valuable.\\nFor example, if they have to miss a day of class, ask something like, “How can I help you with school when you have medical appointments?” Take it upon yourself to take notes from them during the lecture and bring it to them afterwards. You can even offer to tutor them or discuss the notes so they get a more complete picture of the material they missed.\\nOffer to give them a ride to and from their doctor’s appointments, run errands with them, or go grocery shopping with them.\\nIf you are still having trouble figuring out how you can help, ask them specifically what they could use; let them tell you what would be most helpful. Try saying something like, “I have a lot of free time on my hands right now and I would love to help you out in any way I can. Is there something I can do to take some things off your plate?” Keep checking in with them regularly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let your friend vent about the emotional aspects of the diagnosis.\", \"描述\": \"The stress that comes with learning of an HIV diagnosis often manifests itself in a variety of different emotions, like denial, anger, and sadness. Let your friend know it’s okay to let those emotions out.\\nAsk them how they are doing when spending time with them one-on-one, to give them the opportunity to talk on a more personal level.\\nBe a good listener. Sometimes just being there for them to confide in is the best kind of support.\\nBe careful not to nag them about talking about their diagnosis, however. If they don’t feel like talking about it, leave it - they may want to get their mind off of it for a while.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Direct your friend to support services.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend’s diagnosis may lead to anxiety, depression, or substance abuse, in which case professional, outside help might be helpful. Examples include seeing a therapist or signing up for a support group.\\nIt can be hard to bring up the subject of therapy and counseling. Start out by saying, “I’ve noticed you’ve been more [sad, down, irritated…] lately, and I’m worried about you. Have you ever considered talking to a therapist?”\\nIf you’ve ever done counseling, it may help to share your own experiences about how it helped you to make them feel less embarrassed and scared.\\nIf they agree to see a professional, help them find one. Many of the HIV resource centers, testing sights, and care services throughout the country have therapists available who are trained to guide people who are newly diagnosed. Find their contact information and pass it along to your friend.\\nYou can also contact your local community mental health center to see if they can point you in the direction of an appropriate professional who may be able to help.\\nMake sure to honor your friend’s privacy as you do your research and try to find recommendations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Encourage treatment.\", \"描述\": \"When HIV is caught early and a patient follows ART (antiretroviral therapy), it can keep the virus under control and prevent it from progressing into AIDS or spreading to others.\\nMake sure they see a doctor and adhere to their medication. It is important for your friend to take their medication every day, exactly as prescribed. If they are forgetful, ask if you can help by giving reminders about medications and appointments, or offer to drive them to the doctor’s office.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid situations that could put your friend’s health at risk.\", \"描述\": \"Because your friend’s immune system is compromised, they are more likely to get sick by viral and bacterial infections. Even if they are taking Antiretroviral therapy (ART) medications regularly, there is still a risk. Encourage them not to expose themselves to people with contagious illnesses and environments where germs and illnesses are more prevalent.\\nFor example, if your sibling has bronchitis, don’t invite your friend with HIV over for a sleepover.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Encourage your friend to live a healthy lifestyle.\", \"描述\": \"HIV can take a toll on your body and overall health. To keep your friend feeling as strong and healthy as possible, encourage them to eat well and to exercise often. Your friend should aim to eat a balanced diet that contains many fruits, vegetables, and starchy carbohydrates, as well as some lean protein and dairy. Also, try to encourage your friend to do cardio or aerobic exercises, resistance training, and/or flexibility training regularly.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take care of yourself, too.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard having a friend with a HIV because you often feel very attached to their emotions - when they are sad, you feel sad too. The best way to support someone else is to first make sure you are in a good place personally.\\nTry to stay in tune with your own emotions. If you are feeling run down, it’s okay to take a break from being with your friend and take some time for yourself.\\nDo not take on the entire burden of providing support for your friend. You are likely part of a bigger support system - like your friends’ parents, siblings, and other friends. Talk to them! It is likely they are feeling the same way as you and it can help to talk things out with them if you need to.\\nIf your sexual partner has been diagnosed with HIV, get tested yourself and make sure you are engaging in safe sex practices.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Battling Stigma\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help your friend deal with stigma.\", \"描述\": \"Many people have misconceptions about HIV and view the disease as disgraceful or taboo. This may lead to your friend feeling isolated or ashamed of having HIV, even if no one knows about their diagnosis.\\nRemind your friend of all the successful people, such as famous actors or athletes (i.e. Magic Johnson), who are living with HIV and have disclosed their status to promote awareness and break down the stigma.\\nHelp your friend find personal stories from others living with HIV from online blogs and websites. These can be very comforting and empowering.\\nTell your friend about the misconceptions you had before you learned more about HIV and give examples of how you changed your mind based on facts.\\nIn the case that your friend’s HIV status is public, they may be insulted, rejected, gossiped about, or excluded from social activities. If you see this happening to them, stand up for them. Remind them that the bullies are most likely ignorant about HIV. Explain to the bullies, in a kind and patient way, that your friend has not changed as a result of the diagnosis and educate them about the misconceptions that they might have about HIV. Set an example by spending time with your friend in public, or eating lunch with them at school.\\nIf you feel like things are getting out of hand or you can’t stand up to the bullies alone, don’t hesitate to involve a teacher or other adult who knows of your friend’s health condition. Even if they don’t, you can still report the bullying without disclosing their HIV status.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be there for your friend if they choose to disclose their diagnosis with others.\", \"描述\": \"Telling people about their HIV status can be a nerve-racking experience, especially if they don’t know how others will react. Offer to be there when they share the news with someone if it makes them feel more comfortable.\\nIt will also give you the opportunity to provide advice to the other person on how they can be a supportive friend, as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Honor your friend by making contributions to related charities or registering for an AIDS walk.\", \"描述\": \"Round up your friends and do it together. Not only will it show your friend you care, it will help raise funds for prevention and awareness services in your area. Again, in the spirit of confidentiality, don’t mention your friend’s name unless they say it’s okay.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Confidentiality is key. Unless your friend tells you it's okay, do not tell anyone about their HIV status.\\n\", \"Even if your friend doesn't want to talk, hanging out with them and doing activities to distract them is a great way to be supportive.\\n\", \"If you feel overwhelmed, reach out for help and encourage your friend to seek professional assistance for more emotional support.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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4,210 | How to Be Sweet | 1. Acting the Part
1-1. Be thoughtful towards others.
Part of being sweet means that you are thoughtful towards other people. You can achieve this by showing interest in other people's lives, or by doing nice things for them. For example:
Instead of talking about yourself, you can ask your friend about his day. This will show your friend that you are interested in his well-being. If your friend reveals that he is having a bad day, you can show how sweet you are by buying him some ice cream.
It is your friend's birthday. Unfortunately, it falls right during Finals week and ends up being forgotten by everyone else as they scramble to complete assignments and catch up on last-minute studying. You can surprise your friend by bringing her a cupcake or a balloon to school.
1-2. Be caring towards others.
Part of being sweet is also being caring, which can be achieved through showing concern for other people. For example, if you notice someone looking upset, ask him or her what is wrong and if there is something you can do to help. This will show him or her that you care, even if he or she does not want any help.
1-3. Always be polite.
Part of being sweet means that you are polite and have good manners, even towards those you dislike. This means that you say things like "please," and "thank you," and "excuse me" or "pardon me." For example:
If someone compliments you, smile and say "thank you!"
If you are eating in a cafeteria, and the salt shaker is too far away, do not reach across someone's face to grab it. Instead, ask: "Could you pass the salt, please?"
If you are in a hurry and need to get through a crowd quickly, try not to shove your way through. Instead, say "pardon me" or excuse me" and try to weave your way past people instead.
1-4. Be generous and giving.
This does not mean that you have to donate all your clothes to charity and give in to everyone's demands. You want to be generous to a certain extent, but not so much that people begin to take advantage of you. For example:
Your friend forgot to bring her lunch to school, and she has no money to buy something from the cafeteria. You can offer part of your lunch to your friend, or lend her some money so that she can buy something to eat from the cafeteria.
If the boy sitting next to you forgot to bring a pen or pencil to class, offer him one of yours.
If you suspect someone taking advantage of your generosity, it is okay to confront him or her about it, so long as you do it in a gentle, non-accusatory manner. For example, if your friend asks you for lunch money every day, you can try saying: "Alright, I will help you one last time, but I really cannot afford helping you every day. What about bringing your own lunch from home tomorrow?"
1-5. Consider complimenting others.
Not only will complimenting others help boost their self-esteem and make them feel better, but it will also make you appear kind and sweet. For example:
If your friend got a new haircut, tell her how cute it looks. She may be feeling self-conscious or uncertain about the change. Your compliment might just give her that much-needed boost of confidence.
The boy sitting next to you in class draws almost the time. Instead of just telling him that he draws really well, mention a particular detail, such as hair or eyes. You could say something like: "Wow, you are really good at drawing! I really like how you did the eyes!"
Do not be over-generous with the compliments however; you might come off as creepy, annoying, or fake. You want your compliments to be genuine (or at least appear that way).
1-6. Be helpful towards others.
Sweet people are the ones who are the first to offer help, even if it is not wanted. There are many ways you can help others, and some of those ways are small and almost effortless, such as opening doors. You can show your sweetness by offering help in many situations, such as:
A girl has just dropped all of her books. Instead of walking past or laughing at (which a sweet person would never do), go over to her and help her pick the books up.
A boy is helping set up for the school charity and has taken on more than he can can handle—literally. He is carrying way too much, and all of the boxes are falling out of his arms. Go over to him and offer to help him carry some of the boxes.
An elderly man in a wheelchair is about to leave a cafe, but the door is closed. You can show just how sweet you are by holding the door open for him. Don't forget to smile, and say "You're welcome!" if he thanks you.
1-7. Use a softer voice.
Sweetness is associated with softness and gentleness, so try to use a softer voice when speaking. This does not mean you must talk at a whisper or use a high-pitched voice. Just soften your voice to a low and gentle level. This will help you sound kinder.
2. Avoiding Bad Behavior
2-1. Do not swear or curse.
Part of being sweet involves developing good manners, which in turn, involves avoiding bad ones, such as swearing. If you get angry or upset (or stub your toe) bite your tongue and try not to swear or curse.
If you really must swear, stay away from any expletives, and say things such as "drat" or "darn" instead.
2-2. Do not insult, gossip, or bully.
Sweet people are nice people, and nice people generally like everyone—or at least act as though they like everyone. Try to refrain from insulting others or gossiping about them, and never bully anyone. Not only is this negative behavior, but it will show others that you are capable of thinking not-so-nice things about others. This, in turn, may cause those listening to you to wonder what you might think of them.
2-3. Do not react to bullying or swearing.
Instead, either ignore the bully or pretend that you did not hear the insulting or swearing. Bullies want attention, and you will be giving them just that by reacting to them.
2-4. Do not slouch, cross your arms, or put your hands in your pockets.
Part of being sweet and kind is being approachable. You can achieve this through maintaining proper posture—this means that your back is straight, your head is held high, and your shoulders are thrown back slightly (but not to the extent of discomfort). Slouching, crossing your arms, and sticking your hands in your pockets will make you appear disinterested, anti-social, or upset, none of which are considered very sweet.
2-5. Do not partake in drugs or destructive behavior.
Not only are drugs harmful to your body, but vandalism can get you in trouble with authority. Sweet people are well-behaved people, and thus tend not to get into trouble. Refrain from vandalizing and destroying property (be it private or public), and try not to do drugs. Some drugs, such as hallucinogens, can lead you to partake in destructive behavior, while other drugs can deteriorate or permanently damage your health.
3. Getting the Look
3-1. Consider altering your look.
Anyone can be sweet, regardless of how they look or what they wear, but certain styles and images tend to be associated with specific personality types. The change can be as simple as a gentle smile to as complex as a complete makeover, including a new hairstyle, new makeup, and a new outfit.
3-2. Dress simply and modestly.
Sweetness is associated with youthfulness, so refrain from wearing anything too revealing or "sexy." Opt instead for simple or modest outfits.
If you are a girl, consider wearing: a shirt with a sweetheart neckline and a knee-length skirt, a peasant blouse and some jeans, or a summery dress. Refrain from wearing anything that reveals too much cleavage or exposes your belly button. You can still look feminine, but be sure your outfit is also modest.
If you are a boy, consider wearing: slacks and button up shirts, neutral colors, or a simple T-shirt and jeans. Refrain from wearing anything with inappropriate designs or slogans, muscle shirts, or several sizes too large. You want a proper and modest image.
3-3. Refrain from studs and spikes.
Anyone can be sweet, regardless of how they dress, but certain shapes are associated with harshness. Wearing lots of spikes and studs might make you appear tough and intimidating, which in turn might make you appear unapproachable. Sweet people generally have a softer appearance, and are easy to approach.
3-4. Consider wearing light-colored outfits.
Light colors, such as pastels, pink, lilac, baby blue, and whites, are often associated with softness, purity, innocence and gentleness. Wearing these colors might help others perceive you as having these qualities.
3-5. Wear little makeup, if any.
Sweetness is associated with youthfulness, which can be achieved through wearing little to no makeup. Consider wearing light eyeshadow, some mascara, and light-colored lipstick or lip gloss. You want your makeup to look simple and innocent, so stay away from dark or glamorous styles, such as smoky eyeshadow and dark red lipstick.
Consider wearing makeup that make your eyes appear larger, to lend that doe-eyed look often associated with youthfulness and innocence.
3-6. Maintain good hygiene.
Sweet people are often youthful, and youth is associated with good health. You can appear more healthy by taking good care of yourself. This means bathing every day, washing your face and brushing your teeth daily, and combing your hair. If you sweat or have a strong body odor, you may want to consider a deodorant.
3-7. Maintain a neat appearance.
Staying neat will show others that you take care of yourself, which in turn gives others a more positive impression of you. You can make yourself appear tidy and neat by taking care of yourself and your clothes and belongings. This means you comb your hair, mend any rips or tears on your clothes, and wash your clothes if they get dirty. It also means that you take care of your belongings by keeping them clean and not letting them get ruined. For example:
You can protect your textbooks by covering them with paper, and storing them carefully so that the corners do not get bent.
You can keep your pencils looking neat by not chewing on them, and by sharpening them if they get dull.
3-8. Smile often.
A smile will not only help you appear kinder, but it will also make you appear happier and thus more approachable.
Tips
Eat something sweet! Studies have shown that eating something sweet can help people have a kind demeanor.[5]
X
Research source
If someone is mean to you, try to hold back any aggressive behavior. You can stand up for yourself, but do not attack in return.
Smile. It will make you appear kinder and happier.
Warnings
People may try to take advantage of your kindness and generosity. Being sweet does not mean you have to be submissive and a pushover. It is perfectly alright to voice your opinions, as long as you do them appropriately and constructively.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:52:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting the Part\\n1-1. Be thoughtful towards others.\\nPart of being sweet means that you are thoughtful towards other people. You can achieve this by showing interest in other people's lives, or by doing nice things for them. For example:\\nInstead of talking about yourself, you can ask your friend about his day. This will show your friend that you are interested in his well-being. If your friend reveals that he is having a bad day, you can show how sweet you are by buying him some ice cream.\\nIt is your friend's birthday. Unfortunately, it falls right during Finals week and ends up being forgotten by everyone else as they scramble to complete assignments and catch up on last-minute studying. You can surprise your friend by bringing her a cupcake or a balloon to school.\\n1-2. Be caring towards others.\\nPart of being sweet is also being caring, which can be achieved through showing concern for other people. For example, if you notice someone looking upset, ask him or her what is wrong and if there is something you can do to help. This will show him or her that you care, even if he or she does not want any help.\\n1-3. Always be polite.\\nPart of being sweet means that you are polite and have good manners, even towards those you dislike. This means that you say things like \\\"please,\\\" and \\\"thank you,\\\" and \\\"excuse me\\\" or \\\"pardon me.\\\" For example:\\nIf someone compliments you, smile and say \\\"thank you!\\\"\\nIf you are eating in a cafeteria, and the salt shaker is too far away, do not reach across someone's face to grab it. Instead, ask: \\\"Could you pass the salt, please?\\\"\\nIf you are in a hurry and need to get through a crowd quickly, try not to shove your way through. Instead, say \\\"pardon me\\\" or excuse me\\\" and try to weave your way past people instead.\\n1-4. Be generous and giving.\\nThis does not mean that you have to donate all your clothes to charity and give in to everyone's demands. You want to be generous to a certain extent, but not so much that people begin to take advantage of you. For example:\\nYour friend forgot to bring her lunch to school, and she has no money to buy something from the cafeteria. You can offer part of your lunch to your friend, or lend her some money so that she can buy something to eat from the cafeteria.\\nIf the boy sitting next to you forgot to bring a pen or pencil to class, offer him one of yours.\\nIf you suspect someone taking advantage of your generosity, it is okay to confront him or her about it, so long as you do it in a gentle, non-accusatory manner. For example, if your friend asks you for lunch money every day, you can try saying: \\\"Alright, I will help you one last time, but I really cannot afford helping you every day. What about bringing your own lunch from home tomorrow?\\\"\\n1-5. Consider complimenting others.\\nNot only will complimenting others help boost their self-esteem and make them feel better, but it will also make you appear kind and sweet. For example:\\nIf your friend got a new haircut, tell her how cute it looks. She may be feeling self-conscious or uncertain about the change. Your compliment might just give her that much-needed boost of confidence.\\nThe boy sitting next to you in class draws almost the time. Instead of just telling him that he draws really well, mention a particular detail, such as hair or eyes. You could say something like: \\\"Wow, you are really good at drawing! I really like how you did the eyes!\\\"\\nDo not be over-generous with the compliments however; you might come off as creepy, annoying, or fake. You want your compliments to be genuine (or at least appear that way).\\n1-6. Be helpful towards others.\\nSweet people are the ones who are the first to offer help, even if it is not wanted. There are many ways you can help others, and some of those ways are small and almost effortless, such as opening doors. You can show your sweetness by offering help in many situations, such as:\\nA girl has just dropped all of her books. Instead of walking past or laughing at (which a sweet person would never do), go over to her and help her pick the books up.\\nA boy is helping set up for the school charity and has taken on more than he can can handle—literally. He is carrying way too much, and all of the boxes are falling out of his arms. Go over to him and offer to help him carry some of the boxes.\\nAn elderly man in a wheelchair is about to leave a cafe, but the door is closed. You can show just how sweet you are by holding the door open for him. Don't forget to smile, and say \\\"You're welcome!\\\" if he thanks you.\\n1-7. Use a softer voice.\\nSweetness is associated with softness and gentleness, so try to use a softer voice when speaking. This does not mean you must talk at a whisper or use a high-pitched voice. Just soften your voice to a low and gentle level. This will help you sound kinder.\\n2. Avoiding Bad Behavior\\n2-1. Do not swear or curse.\\nPart of being sweet involves developing good manners, which in turn, involves avoiding bad ones, such as swearing. If you get angry or upset (or stub your toe) bite your tongue and try not to swear or curse.\\nIf you really must swear, stay away from any expletives, and say things such as \\\"drat\\\" or \\\"darn\\\" instead.\\n2-2. Do not insult, gossip, or bully.\\nSweet people are nice people, and nice people generally like everyone—or at least act as though they like everyone. Try to refrain from insulting others or gossiping about them, and never bully anyone. Not only is this negative behavior, but it will show others that you are capable of thinking not-so-nice things about others. This, in turn, may cause those listening to you to wonder what you might think of them.\\n2-3. Do not react to bullying or swearing.\\nInstead, either ignore the bully or pretend that you did not hear the insulting or swearing. Bullies want attention, and you will be giving them just that by reacting to them.\\n2-4. Do not slouch, cross your arms, or put your hands in your pockets.\\nPart of being sweet and kind is being approachable. You can achieve this through maintaining proper posture—this means that your back is straight, your head is held high, and your shoulders are thrown back slightly (but not to the extent of discomfort). Slouching, crossing your arms, and sticking your hands in your pockets will make you appear disinterested, anti-social, or upset, none of which are considered very sweet.\\n2-5. Do not partake in drugs or destructive behavior.\\nNot only are drugs harmful to your body, but vandalism can get you in trouble with authority. Sweet people are well-behaved people, and thus tend not to get into trouble. Refrain from vandalizing and destroying property (be it private or public), and try not to do drugs. Some drugs, such as hallucinogens, can lead you to partake in destructive behavior, while other drugs can deteriorate or permanently damage your health.\\n3. Getting the Look\\n3-1. Consider altering your look.\\nAnyone can be sweet, regardless of how they look or what they wear, but certain styles and images tend to be associated with specific personality types. The change can be as simple as a gentle smile to as complex as a complete makeover, including a new hairstyle, new makeup, and a new outfit.\\n3-2. Dress simply and modestly.\\nSweetness is associated with youthfulness, so refrain from wearing anything too revealing or \\\"sexy.\\\" Opt instead for simple or modest outfits.\\nIf you are a girl, consider wearing: a shirt with a sweetheart neckline and a knee-length skirt, a peasant blouse and some jeans, or a summery dress. Refrain from wearing anything that reveals too much cleavage or exposes your belly button. You can still look feminine, but be sure your outfit is also modest.\\nIf you are a boy, consider wearing: slacks and button up shirts, neutral colors, or a simple T-shirt and jeans. Refrain from wearing anything with inappropriate designs or slogans, muscle shirts, or several sizes too large. You want a proper and modest image.\\n3-3. Refrain from studs and spikes.\\nAnyone can be sweet, regardless of how they dress, but certain shapes are associated with harshness. Wearing lots of spikes and studs might make you appear tough and intimidating, which in turn might make you appear unapproachable. Sweet people generally have a softer appearance, and are easy to approach.\\n3-4. Consider wearing light-colored outfits.\\nLight colors, such as pastels, pink, lilac, baby blue, and whites, are often associated with softness, purity, innocence and gentleness. Wearing these colors might help others perceive you as having these qualities.\\n3-5. Wear little makeup, if any.\\nSweetness is associated with youthfulness, which can be achieved through wearing little to no makeup. Consider wearing light eyeshadow, some mascara, and light-colored lipstick or lip gloss. You want your makeup to look simple and innocent, so stay away from dark or glamorous styles, such as smoky eyeshadow and dark red lipstick.\\nConsider wearing makeup that make your eyes appear larger, to lend that doe-eyed look often associated with youthfulness and innocence.\\n3-6. Maintain good hygiene.\\nSweet people are often youthful, and youth is associated with good health. You can appear more healthy by taking good care of yourself. This means bathing every day, washing your face and brushing your teeth daily, and combing your hair. If you sweat or have a strong body odor, you may want to consider a deodorant.\\n3-7. Maintain a neat appearance.\\nStaying neat will show others that you take care of yourself, which in turn gives others a more positive impression of you. You can make yourself appear tidy and neat by taking care of yourself and your clothes and belongings. This means you comb your hair, mend any rips or tears on your clothes, and wash your clothes if they get dirty. It also means that you take care of your belongings by keeping them clean and not letting them get ruined. For example:\\nYou can protect your textbooks by covering them with paper, and storing them carefully so that the corners do not get bent.\\nYou can keep your pencils looking neat by not chewing on them, and by sharpening them if they get dull.\\n3-8. Smile often.\\nA smile will not only help you appear kinder, but it will also make you appear happier and thus more approachable.\\nTips\\nEat something sweet! Studies have shown that eating something sweet can help people have a kind demeanor.[5]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIf someone is mean to you, try to hold back any aggressive behavior. You can stand up for yourself, but do not attack in return.\\nSmile. It will make you appear kinder and happier.\\nWarnings\\nPeople may try to take advantage of your kindness and generosity. Being sweet does not mean you have to be submissive and a pushover. It is perfectly alright to voice your opinions, as long as you do them appropriately and constructively.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You really admire that sweet girl at your school. She is kind, polite, helpful, and is liked by almost everyone. You want to be just like her, but aren't sure of where to begin. Fortunately, there are lots of ways to show your sweetness: being kind and thoughtful, being polite and having good manners, avoiding bad manners, and not being mean. This article will give you some tips and advice on how to develop that sweet demeanor you are so inspired by.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting the Part\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be thoughtful towards others.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being sweet means that you are thoughtful towards other people. You can achieve this by showing interest in other people's lives, or by doing nice things for them. For example:\\nInstead of talking about yourself, you can ask your friend about his day. This will show your friend that you are interested in his well-being. If your friend reveals that he is having a bad day, you can show how sweet you are by buying him some ice cream.\\nIt is your friend's birthday. Unfortunately, it falls right during Finals week and ends up being forgotten by everyone else as they scramble to complete assignments and catch up on last-minute studying. You can surprise your friend by bringing her a cupcake or a balloon to school.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be caring towards others.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being sweet is also being caring, which can be achieved through showing concern for other people. For example, if you notice someone looking upset, ask him or her what is wrong and if there is something you can do to help. This will show him or her that you care, even if he or she does not want any help.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Always be polite.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being sweet means that you are polite and have good manners, even towards those you dislike. This means that you say things like \\\"please,\\\" and \\\"thank you,\\\" and \\\"excuse me\\\" or \\\"pardon me.\\\" For example:\\nIf someone compliments you, smile and say \\\"thank you!\\\"\\nIf you are eating in a cafeteria, and the salt shaker is too far away, do not reach across someone's face to grab it. Instead, ask: \\\"Could you pass the salt, please?\\\"\\nIf you are in a hurry and need to get through a crowd quickly, try not to shove your way through. Instead, say \\\"pardon me\\\" or excuse me\\\" and try to weave your way past people instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be generous and giving.\", \"描述\": \"This does not mean that you have to donate all your clothes to charity and give in to everyone's demands. You want to be generous to a certain extent, but not so much that people begin to take advantage of you. For example:\\nYour friend forgot to bring her lunch to school, and she has no money to buy something from the cafeteria. You can offer part of your lunch to your friend, or lend her some money so that she can buy something to eat from the cafeteria.\\nIf the boy sitting next to you forgot to bring a pen or pencil to class, offer him one of yours.\\nIf you suspect someone taking advantage of your generosity, it is okay to confront him or her about it, so long as you do it in a gentle, non-accusatory manner. For example, if your friend asks you for lunch money every day, you can try saying: \\\"Alright, I will help you one last time, but I really cannot afford helping you every day. What about bringing your own lunch from home tomorrow?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider complimenting others.\", \"描述\": \"Not only will complimenting others help boost their self-esteem and make them feel better, but it will also make you appear kind and sweet. For example:\\nIf your friend got a new haircut, tell her how cute it looks. She may be feeling self-conscious or uncertain about the change. Your compliment might just give her that much-needed boost of confidence.\\nThe boy sitting next to you in class draws almost the time. Instead of just telling him that he draws really well, mention a particular detail, such as hair or eyes. You could say something like: \\\"Wow, you are really good at drawing! I really like how you did the eyes!\\\"\\nDo not be over-generous with the compliments however; you might come off as creepy, annoying, or fake. You want your compliments to be genuine (or at least appear that way).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be helpful towards others.\", \"描述\": \"Sweet people are the ones who are the first to offer help, even if it is not wanted. There are many ways you can help others, and some of those ways are small and almost effortless, such as opening doors. You can show your sweetness by offering help in many situations, such as:\\nA girl has just dropped all of her books. Instead of walking past or laughing at (which a sweet person would never do), go over to her and help her pick the books up.\\nA boy is helping set up for the school charity and has taken on more than he can can handle—literally. He is carrying way too much, and all of the boxes are falling out of his arms. Go over to him and offer to help him carry some of the boxes.\\nAn elderly man in a wheelchair is about to leave a cafe, but the door is closed. You can show just how sweet you are by holding the door open for him. Don't forget to smile, and say \\\"You're welcome!\\\" if he thanks you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use a softer voice.\", \"描述\": \"Sweetness is associated with softness and gentleness, so try to use a softer voice when speaking. This does not mean you must talk at a whisper or use a high-pitched voice. Just soften your voice to a low and gentle level. This will help you sound kinder.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Bad Behavior\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not swear or curse.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being sweet involves developing good manners, which in turn, involves avoiding bad ones, such as swearing. If you get angry or upset (or stub your toe) bite your tongue and try not to swear or curse.\\nIf you really must swear, stay away from any expletives, and say things such as \\\"drat\\\" or \\\"darn\\\" instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not insult, gossip, or bully.\", \"描述\": \"Sweet people are nice people, and nice people generally like everyone—or at least act as though they like everyone. Try to refrain from insulting others or gossiping about them, and never bully anyone. Not only is this negative behavior, but it will show others that you are capable of thinking not-so-nice things about others. This, in turn, may cause those listening to you to wonder what you might think of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not react to bullying or swearing.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, either ignore the bully or pretend that you did not hear the insulting or swearing. Bullies want attention, and you will be giving them just that by reacting to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do not slouch, cross your arms, or put your hands in your pockets.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being sweet and kind is being approachable. You can achieve this through maintaining proper posture—this means that your back is straight, your head is held high, and your shoulders are thrown back slightly (but not to the extent of discomfort). Slouching, crossing your arms, and sticking your hands in your pockets will make you appear disinterested, anti-social, or upset, none of which are considered very sweet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do not partake in drugs or destructive behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Not only are drugs harmful to your body, but vandalism can get you in trouble with authority. Sweet people are well-behaved people, and thus tend not to get into trouble. Refrain from vandalizing and destroying property (be it private or public), and try not to do drugs. Some drugs, such as hallucinogens, can lead you to partake in destructive behavior, while other drugs can deteriorate or permanently damage your health.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting the Look\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider altering your look.\", \"描述\": \"Anyone can be sweet, regardless of how they look or what they wear, but certain styles and images tend to be associated with specific personality types. The change can be as simple as a gentle smile to as complex as a complete makeover, including a new hairstyle, new makeup, and a new outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress simply and modestly.\", \"描述\": \"Sweetness is associated with youthfulness, so refrain from wearing anything too revealing or \\\"sexy.\\\" Opt instead for simple or modest outfits.\\nIf you are a girl, consider wearing: a shirt with a sweetheart neckline and a knee-length skirt, a peasant blouse and some jeans, or a summery dress. Refrain from wearing anything that reveals too much cleavage or exposes your belly button. You can still look feminine, but be sure your outfit is also modest.\\nIf you are a boy, consider wearing: slacks and button up shirts, neutral colors, or a simple T-shirt and jeans. Refrain from wearing anything with inappropriate designs or slogans, muscle shirts, or several sizes too large. You want a proper and modest image.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Refrain from studs and spikes.\", \"描述\": \"Anyone can be sweet, regardless of how they dress, but certain shapes are associated with harshness. Wearing lots of spikes and studs might make you appear tough and intimidating, which in turn might make you appear unapproachable. Sweet people generally have a softer appearance, and are easy to approach.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider wearing light-colored outfits.\", \"描述\": \"Light colors, such as pastels, pink, lilac, baby blue, and whites, are often associated with softness, purity, innocence and gentleness. Wearing these colors might help others perceive you as having these qualities.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear little makeup, if any.\", \"描述\": \"Sweetness is associated with youthfulness, which can be achieved through wearing little to no makeup. Consider wearing light eyeshadow, some mascara, and light-colored lipstick or lip gloss. You want your makeup to look simple and innocent, so stay away from dark or glamorous styles, such as smoky eyeshadow and dark red lipstick.\\nConsider wearing makeup that make your eyes appear larger, to lend that doe-eyed look often associated with youthfulness and innocence.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Sweet people are often youthful, and youth is associated with good health. You can appear more healthy by taking good care of yourself. This means bathing every day, washing your face and brushing your teeth daily, and combing your hair. If you sweat or have a strong body odor, you may want to consider a deodorant.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Maintain a neat appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Staying neat will show others that you take care of yourself, which in turn gives others a more positive impression of you. You can make yourself appear tidy and neat by taking care of yourself and your clothes and belongings. This means you comb your hair, mend any rips or tears on your clothes, and wash your clothes if they get dirty. It also means that you take care of your belongings by keeping them clean and not letting them get ruined. For example:\\nYou can protect your textbooks by covering them with paper, and storing them carefully so that the corners do not get bent.\\nYou can keep your pencils looking neat by not chewing on them, and by sharpening them if they get dull.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Smile often.\", \"描述\": \"A smile will not only help you appear kinder, but it will also make you appear happier and thus more approachable.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Eat something sweet! Studies have shown that eating something sweet can help people have a kind demeanor.[5]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"If someone is mean to you, try to hold back any aggressive behavior. You can stand up for yourself, but do not attack in return.\\n\", \"Smile. It will make you appear kinder and happier.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"People may try to take advantage of your kindness and generosity. Being sweet does not mean you have to be submissive and a pushover. It is perfectly alright to voice your opinions, as long as you do them appropriately and constructively.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,211 | How to Be Sweet to Your Girlfriend | 1. Doing Things Everyday for Your Girlfriend
1-1. Tell her that you love her.
This is a fairly simple step, but it goes a long way. People that are in long-term relationships tend to forget, after the first month of dating, that they should say the simple words "I love you." Simple works best, rather than long drawn out speeches about your overwhelming love for her.
Casually mention it to her when she is particularly stressed. This will lift her spirits, and show that you are there for her in her time of need.
Try to say it when you leave her for the day, and when you first see her again. Saying "I love you" never gets old.
Use variations of "I love you." You could say things like "You mean so much to me," or I don't know what I would do without you." Change it up every so often so that it doesn't become formulaic.
1-2. Share moments of intimacy.
Hug her when she is feeling sad, or when she is elated over excited news. Before you leave her, and when you see her, always give her a kiss. Being there when she needs physical intimacy is also crucial. When you date someone, part of a healthy relationship is to have physical contact. This could mean a deep kiss, or sex, depending on the moment/situation.
It is also key to let her have space when she needs it. There is nothing sweet about a constantly horny guy always seeking sex. Make sure that she wants physical contact before you engage.
Sometimes even simple things like a pat on the back, or a rub on the shoulder can comfort her in both good and bad times. Analyze the situation to pick the best means of physical contact.
1-3. Listen to her.
Find out what kind of person she is. Ask her questions about her childhood, likes, dislikes, hobbies, jobs, family, friends, and anything else that you can think of. Listen to her when she tells you these stories. If you both begin to talk at the same time, let her speak first. This shows that you respect what she has to say, and are there for her.
The key is to be interested in what she has to say, even if you aren't so interested in the topic. This means that you care about a particular topic, because she cares about it.
Stay engaged when you are listening to her talk. Nod your head, and occasionally give input, or ask a follow up question. If she becomes teary eyed over a sad story, rub her shoulder, hug her, or wipe away her tears.
Take note of what she has to say. By listening to her, you can pick up hints about certain things. She might talk about a diamond ring she saw, that you can later pick up as a birthday present. She might talk about how much she hates a certain music artist, so you can make sure to never have their songs playing in the house.
1-4. Be confident when you are around her.
This doesn't mean that you have to be a tough guy. Rather, sit up straight when you are around her. Put your arm around her shoulder. Speak calmly and clearly when you want to say something. It is sweet when you can just talk to her without feeling worried about what she might think.
In particular, being confident is about being open. This could mean that you tell her something that has been bothering you. It could be that your parents aren't doing well health wise, or you think that something needs to change in the relationship in order for it to work.
Being confident also includes talking about your fantasies. This could mean sexual fantasies, or just your hopes for the future. Be imaginative in what you have to say. You and your girlfriend might also end up having a lot in common if you explore what is deep inside.
2. Making the Relationship Special
2-1. Look good for her.
If you always look like you have just gotten out of bed, try cleaning yourself up a bit. You don't have to go overboard, but you can go out and get a fresh haircut. Shave off that stubble that always scratches her face. Wear a dress shirt and khakis rather than sweatpants and a t-shirt.
Take a nice long bath, followed by deodorant and body spray.
Make sure to brush your teeth at least twice a day. Your girlfriend will appreciate it when you go to kiss her.
Not only is this about you taking care of your own personal hygiene and well-being, but also showing that you care about your girlfriend. She wants to be around someone who smells good, and takes care of himself.
2-2. Make her feel special.
Don't just treat her as a friend. You want to show her you put her above everyone else in your life. This could mean that you don't hang out with your buddies one night watching football. Instead, you spend the evening cuddling with your girlfriend in bed. Don't always spend time complaining about what is happening in your life. Spend more time talking about her problems/successes and your goals as a couple.
2-3. Take your girlfriend on dates.
Even if you are a committed couple, it is always nice to go out on dates. This shows your girlfriend that you care about her and want to always win her over. You can go out to a nice restaurant. Maybe go somewhere she has always wanted to go to, like New York, or a local play. Take her somewhere surprising, like an amusement park or a hiking trip. The possibilities are nearly endless.
When you go on a date, it is always polite to volunteer to pay. If you already have decided to mutually share the cost, then go with your normal routine.
This can be a great time to get to know your partner better as well as to become more intimate.
2-4. Be chivalrous.
Open doors for her, pull out a seat for her, and pick up her things if she drops them. If you are on the train/bus, give her your seat if there are no others. Offer to carry her bag. When you walk on the sidewalk, you should walk on the side closest to the street to protect her from cars, and splashes in the rain.
While some of these things are old-fashioned, they show her that you care about her.
Never think you are less of a man because you are treating your girlfriend with respect. Not only will your girlfriend appreciate your chivalrous actions, but you will also feel great seeing that smile on her face.
2-5. Celebrate birthdays and/or special events.
Do something special for Valentine's Day, and always remember her birthday. Buy a card from the nearest drug store, or you can even make your own. Buy her gifts, such as stuffed animals, chocolate, flowers, etc.
For your anniversary, you should go all out. This means you should make reservations at a nice restaurant, or cook a nice meal at home for her. Dress up nicely when you go out, shave, and appear presentable. Decorate the house with rose pedals and/or anniversary streamers.
You might want to run a warm bath for her on her birthday. Pour in a lot of bubble bath mix as the warm water pours out of the faucet. Lay down rose pedals into the bath so that she will follow them and be happily surprised.
3. Going the Extra Mile
3-1. Keep in touch with her.
You can send your girlfriend a sweet text message, simply saying "I love you," or asking her how her day is going. Call her to ask if she wants anything from the grocery store, or if she is having an emergency. If you are far away from her for a while, you can always send an email. This way you can lay out a larger amount of information, rather than a single, short text message.
Another great option is a letter. It is an antiquated, yet timeless way to show your partner you care. Because it takes more time to write a letter out and send it, your girlfriend will be even more impressed and thankful.
3-2. Visit your girlfriend's parents.
This can be a sweet gesture, and allow you to familiarize yourself with your girlfriend's family. You can do this on any day, but particularly around holidays. Bring a gift for them, such as chocolate or flowers. This will make a good impression with your girlfriend, as well as keep you in good standing with her parents.
Make sure to compliment them on their house when you visit. Check with your girlfriend ahead of time to find out what they are interested in. This way you will always have something to talk about (don't want to argue politics, especially during the first meeting).
Tell them how much you like being with their daughter, and what an amazing person she is. However, this can quickly go into the creepy realm. Try and stay away from overdoing it, kissing your girlfriend intensely in front of them, etc.
3-3. Join an activity she is in.
This can be a sweet thing to do, especially if you are not good or fond of the activity. You might join a book club she is in, or you might join her tennis team. She might like hiking, biking, or simply taking a run every morning. As long as you put forth effort, she will take notice. The objective is to try your best, and show that you care about what she cares about.
Make sure to not intrude on her space. While most activities couples can do together, there is some healthy separation time needed in every relationship. If she would rather do an activity on her own, respect her wishes.
This is also a great time to get to know your partner better. When you are running, or climbing a mountain, you have time alone with her that you can ask her questions. Get more intimately engaged as time goes on.
3-4. Surprise her.
Bring her roses simply because you want to do so. Maybe bake her a special treat for lunch. Go out a buy her some chocolate when she is having a bad day. The key thing is to always be "seeking" your girlfriend, trying to win her over. You never want to become too complacent when you date someone, so doing little surprises will let her know she is constantly on your mind.
Go to her job and bring her something special. This not only shows that you care, but will also impress her coworkers, and show them that she has picked a great guy to be with.
Leave little notes on her pillow, the kitchen counter, or on the fridge. These notes could read something sweet like "I love you" or "I hope you have a great day at work." Something simple and sweet goes a long way to showing how much you think about her.
Tips
If you are far away from your girlfriend, try Skyping with her. This is a great way to see your girlfriend while also talking with her.
When you go out on date nights, bring one rose with you. Give it to her at dinner. Tell her that "You are my one true love" or some variation.
Keep eye contact with your girlfriend. This will show her that your full attention is on her and not on your phone, friends, etc.
Warnings
If this is your first time trying these steps, it may be the case that your relationship is already strained. Try, try, and try again. Your girlfriend should take notice that you are at least trying to change and be a better man.
Every girl is different. Some might need more physical contact, while others might need you to listen more. You need to adjust according to the signals you pick up from your girlfriend.
Nothing is ever fool proof. You might take all of the above steps into consideration and still lose your girlfriend down the road. Be prepared for a break-up and rejection.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:52:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Doing Things Everyday for Your Girlfriend\\n1-1. Tell her that you love her.\\nThis is a fairly simple step, but it goes a long way. People that are in long-term relationships tend to forget, after the first month of dating, that they should say the simple words \\\"I love you.\\\" Simple works best, rather than long drawn out speeches about your overwhelming love for her.\\nCasually mention it to her when she is particularly stressed. This will lift her spirits, and show that you are there for her in her time of need.\\nTry to say it when you leave her for the day, and when you first see her again. Saying \\\"I love you\\\" never gets old.\\nUse variations of \\\"I love you.\\\" You could say things like \\\"You mean so much to me,\\\" or I don't know what I would do without you.\\\" Change it up every so often so that it doesn't become formulaic.\\n1-2. Share moments of intimacy.\\nHug her when she is feeling sad, or when she is elated over excited news. Before you leave her, and when you see her, always give her a kiss. Being there when she needs physical intimacy is also crucial. When you date someone, part of a healthy relationship is to have physical contact. This could mean a deep kiss, or sex, depending on the moment/situation.\\nIt is also key to let her have space when she needs it. There is nothing sweet about a constantly horny guy always seeking sex. Make sure that she wants physical contact before you engage.\\nSometimes even simple things like a pat on the back, or a rub on the shoulder can comfort her in both good and bad times. Analyze the situation to pick the best means of physical contact.\\n1-3. Listen to her.\\nFind out what kind of person she is. Ask her questions about her childhood, likes, dislikes, hobbies, jobs, family, friends, and anything else that you can think of. Listen to her when she tells you these stories. If you both begin to talk at the same time, let her speak first. This shows that you respect what she has to say, and are there for her.\\nThe key is to be interested in what she has to say, even if you aren't so interested in the topic. This means that you care about a particular topic, because she cares about it.\\nStay engaged when you are listening to her talk. Nod your head, and occasionally give input, or ask a follow up question. If she becomes teary eyed over a sad story, rub her shoulder, hug her, or wipe away her tears.\\nTake note of what she has to say. By listening to her, you can pick up hints about certain things. She might talk about a diamond ring she saw, that you can later pick up as a birthday present. She might talk about how much she hates a certain music artist, so you can make sure to never have their songs playing in the house.\\n1-4. Be confident when you are around her.\\nThis doesn't mean that you have to be a tough guy. Rather, sit up straight when you are around her. Put your arm around her shoulder. Speak calmly and clearly when you want to say something. It is sweet when you can just talk to her without feeling worried about what she might think.\\nIn particular, being confident is about being open. This could mean that you tell her something that has been bothering you. It could be that your parents aren't doing well health wise, or you think that something needs to change in the relationship in order for it to work.\\nBeing confident also includes talking about your fantasies. This could mean sexual fantasies, or just your hopes for the future. Be imaginative in what you have to say. You and your girlfriend might also end up having a lot in common if you explore what is deep inside.\\n2. Making the Relationship Special\\n2-1. Look good for her.\\nIf you always look like you have just gotten out of bed, try cleaning yourself up a bit. You don't have to go overboard, but you can go out and get a fresh haircut. Shave off that stubble that always scratches her face. Wear a dress shirt and khakis rather than sweatpants and a t-shirt.\\nTake a nice long bath, followed by deodorant and body spray.\\nMake sure to brush your teeth at least twice a day. Your girlfriend will appreciate it when you go to kiss her.\\nNot only is this about you taking care of your own personal hygiene and well-being, but also showing that you care about your girlfriend. She wants to be around someone who smells good, and takes care of himself.\\n2-2. Make her feel special.\\nDon't just treat her as a friend. You want to show her you put her above everyone else in your life. This could mean that you don't hang out with your buddies one night watching football. Instead, you spend the evening cuddling with your girlfriend in bed. Don't always spend time complaining about what is happening in your life. Spend more time talking about her problems/successes and your goals as a couple.\\n2-3. Take your girlfriend on dates.\\nEven if you are a committed couple, it is always nice to go out on dates. This shows your girlfriend that you care about her and want to always win her over. You can go out to a nice restaurant. Maybe go somewhere she has always wanted to go to, like New York, or a local play. Take her somewhere surprising, like an amusement park or a hiking trip. The possibilities are nearly endless.\\nWhen you go on a date, it is always polite to volunteer to pay. If you already have decided to mutually share the cost, then go with your normal routine.\\nThis can be a great time to get to know your partner better as well as to become more intimate.\\n2-4. Be chivalrous.\\nOpen doors for her, pull out a seat for her, and pick up her things if she drops them. If you are on the train/bus, give her your seat if there are no others. Offer to carry her bag. When you walk on the sidewalk, you should walk on the side closest to the street to protect her from cars, and splashes in the rain.\\nWhile some of these things are old-fashioned, they show her that you care about her.\\nNever think you are less of a man because you are treating your girlfriend with respect. Not only will your girlfriend appreciate your chivalrous actions, but you will also feel great seeing that smile on her face.\\n2-5. Celebrate birthdays and/or special events.\\nDo something special for Valentine's Day, and always remember her birthday. Buy a card from the nearest drug store, or you can even make your own. Buy her gifts, such as stuffed animals, chocolate, flowers, etc.\\nFor your anniversary, you should go all out. This means you should make reservations at a nice restaurant, or cook a nice meal at home for her. Dress up nicely when you go out, shave, and appear presentable. Decorate the house with rose pedals and/or anniversary streamers.\\nYou might want to run a warm bath for her on her birthday. Pour in a lot of bubble bath mix as the warm water pours out of the faucet. Lay down rose pedals into the bath so that she will follow them and be happily surprised.\\n3. Going the Extra Mile\\n3-1. Keep in touch with her.\\nYou can send your girlfriend a sweet text message, simply saying \\\"I love you,\\\" or asking her how her day is going. Call her to ask if she wants anything from the grocery store, or if she is having an emergency. If you are far away from her for a while, you can always send an email. This way you can lay out a larger amount of information, rather than a single, short text message.\\nAnother great option is a letter. It is an antiquated, yet timeless way to show your partner you care. Because it takes more time to write a letter out and send it, your girlfriend will be even more impressed and thankful.\\n3-2. Visit your girlfriend's parents.\\nThis can be a sweet gesture, and allow you to familiarize yourself with your girlfriend's family. You can do this on any day, but particularly around holidays. Bring a gift for them, such as chocolate or flowers. This will make a good impression with your girlfriend, as well as keep you in good standing with her parents.\\nMake sure to compliment them on their house when you visit. Check with your girlfriend ahead of time to find out what they are interested in. This way you will always have something to talk about (don't want to argue politics, especially during the first meeting).\\nTell them how much you like being with their daughter, and what an amazing person she is. However, this can quickly go into the creepy realm. Try and stay away from overdoing it, kissing your girlfriend intensely in front of them, etc.\\n3-3. Join an activity she is in.\\nThis can be a sweet thing to do, especially if you are not good or fond of the activity. You might join a book club she is in, or you might join her tennis team. She might like hiking, biking, or simply taking a run every morning. As long as you put forth effort, she will take notice. The objective is to try your best, and show that you care about what she cares about.\\nMake sure to not intrude on her space. While most activities couples can do together, there is some healthy separation time needed in every relationship. If she would rather do an activity on her own, respect her wishes.\\nThis is also a great time to get to know your partner better. When you are running, or climbing a mountain, you have time alone with her that you can ask her questions. Get more intimately engaged as time goes on.\\n3-4. Surprise her.\\nBring her roses simply because you want to do so. Maybe bake her a special treat for lunch. Go out a buy her some chocolate when she is having a bad day. The key thing is to always be \\\"seeking\\\" your girlfriend, trying to win her over. You never want to become too complacent when you date someone, so doing little surprises will let her know she is constantly on your mind.\\nGo to her job and bring her something special. This not only shows that you care, but will also impress her coworkers, and show them that she has picked a great guy to be with.\\nLeave little notes on her pillow, the kitchen counter, or on the fridge. These notes could read something sweet like \\\"I love you\\\" or \\\"I hope you have a great day at work.\\\" Something simple and sweet goes a long way to showing how much you think about her.\\nTips\\nIf you are far away from your girlfriend, try Skyping with her. This is a great way to see your girlfriend while also talking with her.\\nWhen you go out on date nights, bring one rose with you. Give it to her at dinner. Tell her that \\\"You are my one true love\\\" or some variation.\\nKeep eye contact with your girlfriend. This will show her that your full attention is on her and not on your phone, friends, etc.\\nWarnings\\nIf this is your first time trying these steps, it may be the case that your relationship is already strained. Try, try, and try again. Your girlfriend should take notice that you are at least trying to change and be a better man.\\nEvery girl is different. Some might need more physical contact, while others might need you to listen more. You need to adjust according to the signals you pick up from your girlfriend.\\nNothing is ever fool proof. You might take all of the above steps into consideration and still lose your girlfriend down the road. Be prepared for a break-up and rejection.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You've finally asked the girl of your dreams out, and she said yes! After a few great dates, the relationship is official. You've got the girl, now all you must do is figure out a way to keep her. There are numerous sweet actions you can take that will impress your girlfriend and show that you care about her. As long as you put in a little effort, you will keep her around for a long time to come.This article is based on an interview with our licensed marriage and family therapist, Allen Wagner. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Doing Things Everyday for Your Girlfriend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell her that you love her.\", \"描述\": \"This is a fairly simple step, but it goes a long way. People that are in long-term relationships tend to forget, after the first month of dating, that they should say the simple words \\\"I love you.\\\" Simple works best, rather than long drawn out speeches about your overwhelming love for her.\\nCasually mention it to her when she is particularly stressed. This will lift her spirits, and show that you are there for her in her time of need.\\nTry to say it when you leave her for the day, and when you first see her again. Saying \\\"I love you\\\" never gets old.\\nUse variations of \\\"I love you.\\\" You could say things like \\\"You mean so much to me,\\\" or I don't know what I would do without you.\\\" Change it up every so often so that it doesn't become formulaic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Share moments of intimacy.\", \"描述\": \"Hug her when she is feeling sad, or when she is elated over excited news. Before you leave her, and when you see her, always give her a kiss. Being there when she needs physical intimacy is also crucial. When you date someone, part of a healthy relationship is to have physical contact. This could mean a deep kiss, or sex, depending on the moment/situation.\\nIt is also key to let her have space when she needs it. There is nothing sweet about a constantly horny guy always seeking sex. Make sure that she wants physical contact before you engage.\\nSometimes even simple things like a pat on the back, or a rub on the shoulder can comfort her in both good and bad times. Analyze the situation to pick the best means of physical contact.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to her.\", \"描述\": \"Find out what kind of person she is. Ask her questions about her childhood, likes, dislikes, hobbies, jobs, family, friends, and anything else that you can think of. Listen to her when she tells you these stories. If you both begin to talk at the same time, let her speak first. This shows that you respect what she has to say, and are there for her.\\nThe key is to be interested in what she has to say, even if you aren't so interested in the topic. This means that you care about a particular topic, because she cares about it.\\nStay engaged when you are listening to her talk. Nod your head, and occasionally give input, or ask a follow up question. If she becomes teary eyed over a sad story, rub her shoulder, hug her, or wipe away her tears.\\nTake note of what she has to say. By listening to her, you can pick up hints about certain things. She might talk about a diamond ring she saw, that you can later pick up as a birthday present. She might talk about how much she hates a certain music artist, so you can make sure to never have their songs playing in the house.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be confident when you are around her.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean that you have to be a tough guy. Rather, sit up straight when you are around her. Put your arm around her shoulder. Speak calmly and clearly when you want to say something. It is sweet when you can just talk to her without feeling worried about what she might think.\\nIn particular, being confident is about being open. This could mean that you tell her something that has been bothering you. It could be that your parents aren't doing well health wise, or you think that something needs to change in the relationship in order for it to work.\\nBeing confident also includes talking about your fantasies. This could mean sexual fantasies, or just your hopes for the future. Be imaginative in what you have to say. You and your girlfriend might also end up having a lot in common if you explore what is deep inside.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making the Relationship Special\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look good for her.\", \"描述\": \"If you always look like you have just gotten out of bed, try cleaning yourself up a bit. You don't have to go overboard, but you can go out and get a fresh haircut. Shave off that stubble that always scratches her face. Wear a dress shirt and khakis rather than sweatpants and a t-shirt.\\nTake a nice long bath, followed by deodorant and body spray.\\nMake sure to brush your teeth at least twice a day. Your girlfriend will appreciate it when you go to kiss her.\\nNot only is this about you taking care of your own personal hygiene and well-being, but also showing that you care about your girlfriend. She wants to be around someone who smells good, and takes care of himself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make her feel special.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just treat her as a friend. You want to show her you put her above everyone else in your life. This could mean that you don't hang out with your buddies one night watching football. Instead, you spend the evening cuddling with your girlfriend in bed. Don't always spend time complaining about what is happening in your life. Spend more time talking about her problems/successes and your goals as a couple.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take your girlfriend on dates.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are a committed couple, it is always nice to go out on dates. This shows your girlfriend that you care about her and want to always win her over. You can go out to a nice restaurant. Maybe go somewhere she has always wanted to go to, like New York, or a local play. Take her somewhere surprising, like an amusement park or a hiking trip. The possibilities are nearly endless.\\nWhen you go on a date, it is always polite to volunteer to pay. If you already have decided to mutually share the cost, then go with your normal routine.\\nThis can be a great time to get to know your partner better as well as to become more intimate.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be chivalrous.\", \"描述\": \"Open doors for her, pull out a seat for her, and pick up her things if she drops them. If you are on the train/bus, give her your seat if there are no others. Offer to carry her bag. When you walk on the sidewalk, you should walk on the side closest to the street to protect her from cars, and splashes in the rain.\\nWhile some of these things are old-fashioned, they show her that you care about her.\\nNever think you are less of a man because you are treating your girlfriend with respect. Not only will your girlfriend appreciate your chivalrous actions, but you will also feel great seeing that smile on her face.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Celebrate birthdays and/or special events.\", \"描述\": \"Do something special for Valentine's Day, and always remember her birthday. Buy a card from the nearest drug store, or you can even make your own. Buy her gifts, such as stuffed animals, chocolate, flowers, etc.\\nFor your anniversary, you should go all out. This means you should make reservations at a nice restaurant, or cook a nice meal at home for her. Dress up nicely when you go out, shave, and appear presentable. Decorate the house with rose pedals and/or anniversary streamers.\\nYou might want to run a warm bath for her on her birthday. Pour in a lot of bubble bath mix as the warm water pours out of the faucet. Lay down rose pedals into the bath so that she will follow them and be happily surprised.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Going the Extra Mile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep in touch with her.\", \"描述\": \"You can send your girlfriend a sweet text message, simply saying \\\"I love you,\\\" or asking her how her day is going. Call her to ask if she wants anything from the grocery store, or if she is having an emergency. If you are far away from her for a while, you can always send an email. This way you can lay out a larger amount of information, rather than a single, short text message.\\nAnother great option is a letter. It is an antiquated, yet timeless way to show your partner you care. Because it takes more time to write a letter out and send it, your girlfriend will be even more impressed and thankful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Visit your girlfriend's parents.\", \"描述\": \"This can be a sweet gesture, and allow you to familiarize yourself with your girlfriend's family. You can do this on any day, but particularly around holidays. Bring a gift for them, such as chocolate or flowers. This will make a good impression with your girlfriend, as well as keep you in good standing with her parents.\\nMake sure to compliment them on their house when you visit. Check with your girlfriend ahead of time to find out what they are interested in. This way you will always have something to talk about (don't want to argue politics, especially during the first meeting).\\nTell them how much you like being with their daughter, and what an amazing person she is. However, this can quickly go into the creepy realm. Try and stay away from overdoing it, kissing your girlfriend intensely in front of them, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join an activity she is in.\", \"描述\": \"This can be a sweet thing to do, especially if you are not good or fond of the activity. You might join a book club she is in, or you might join her tennis team. She might like hiking, biking, or simply taking a run every morning. As long as you put forth effort, she will take notice. The objective is to try your best, and show that you care about what she cares about.\\nMake sure to not intrude on her space. While most activities couples can do together, there is some healthy separation time needed in every relationship. If she would rather do an activity on her own, respect her wishes.\\nThis is also a great time to get to know your partner better. When you are running, or climbing a mountain, you have time alone with her that you can ask her questions. Get more intimately engaged as time goes on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surprise her.\", \"描述\": \"Bring her roses simply because you want to do so. Maybe bake her a special treat for lunch. Go out a buy her some chocolate when she is having a bad day. The key thing is to always be \\\"seeking\\\" your girlfriend, trying to win her over. You never want to become too complacent when you date someone, so doing little surprises will let her know she is constantly on your mind.\\nGo to her job and bring her something special. This not only shows that you care, but will also impress her coworkers, and show them that she has picked a great guy to be with.\\nLeave little notes on her pillow, the kitchen counter, or on the fridge. These notes could read something sweet like \\\"I love you\\\" or \\\"I hope you have a great day at work.\\\" Something simple and sweet goes a long way to showing how much you think about her.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you are far away from your girlfriend, try Skyping with her. This is a great way to see your girlfriend while also talking with her.\\n\", \"When you go out on date nights, bring one rose with you. Give it to her at dinner. Tell her that \\\"You are my one true love\\\" or some variation.\\n\", \"Keep eye contact with your girlfriend. This will show her that your full attention is on her and not on your phone, friends, etc.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If this is your first time trying these steps, it may be the case that your relationship is already strained. Try, try, and try again. Your girlfriend should take notice that you are at least trying to change and be a better man.\\n\", \"Every girl is different. Some might need more physical contact, while others might need you to listen more. You need to adjust according to the signals you pick up from your girlfriend.\\n\", \"Nothing is ever fool proof. You might take all of the above steps into consideration and still lose your girlfriend down the road. Be prepared for a break-up and rejection.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,212 | How to Be More Sympathetic: Expressing Sympathy & Communicating Mindfully | 1. Expressing Sympathy
1-1. Give the other person a chance to talk about their emotions.
Offer to listen to them talk about how they're feeling, or how they're trying to cope with their problems. You don't need to have solutions at hand. Sometimes a sympathetic ear can be a great help on its own.
When you learn to focus your attention on the other person and their emotions, you will naturally become more sympathetic.
1-2. Use body language to express sympathy.
Even while listening, you can show that you are paying attention and sympathizing with your body language. Make eye contact, and nod in understanding occasionally. Keep your body turned toward the person instead of to one side.
Don't try to multitask, and avoid distractions during the conversation. Turn off your phone if you can, to avoid interruption.
Keep your body open by leaving your arms and legs uncrossed. If your hands are visible, keep them relaxed and facing slightly sideways. This will help communicate that you are engaged in listening to the other person.
Lean toward the person. Leaning in toward the other person may make them feel more comfortable talking to you.
Nod as the person is talking. Nodding and other encouraging gestures help people feel more comfortable talking.
Mirror the other person's body language. This isn't to say that you have to directly copy everything they do, but keeping your body in a similar posture to theirs (for example, facing them if they are facing you, keeping your legs pointed in the same direction as theirs) will help create a supportive atmosphere with your body language.
1-3. Listen first, offer comments later.
In many cases, the other person needs you to listen as they explore their feelings and thoughts. This is being supportive, even if it does not feel particularly active or helping to you. Often, if you offer advice before it is asked, you risk making the other person think you are making their experience about you.
"No-solution listening," according to author Michael Rooni, allows you to provide other people with a safe space to vent and work through their feelings. They do not feel pressure to take your advice, nor feel like you are "taking over" their problem or situation.
If in doubt, ask: "I want to support you however you need me to. Do you want me to help you problem-solve, or do you just need a space to vent? Either way, I'm here for you."
If you went through similar experiences, you may be able to help with practical advice or methods of coping. Frame your advice as your personal experience, not a command. For example: "I'm so sorry you broke your leg. I remember how much it sucked when I broke my ankle a few years ago. Would it be helpful if I shared what I did to cope?"
Make sure not to come across as dictating a certain course of action. If you do have advice and the person is interested in hearing it, phrase it as a probing question, such as "Have you considered ___?" or "Do you think it would help if you _____?" These types of questions acknowledge the other person's agency in making their own decisions and sound less bossy than "If I were you, I'd do ______."
1-4. Use appropriate physical contact.
Physical contact can be comforting, but only if it is appropriate in the context of your relationship. If you are used to hugging the person who needs sympathy, do so. If either of you are not comfortable with that, briefly touch their arm or shoulder instead.
Be aware that some people may feel too emotionally vulnerable or raw to enjoy a hug at that moment, even if hugging is commonly part of your interactions. Take note of the other person's body language and judge whether they seem open. You can also ask, "Would a hug make you feel better?"
1-5. Offer to help out with everyday work.
Someone going through a hard time in their life will likely appreciate some assistance in day-to-day tasks. Even if they seem to be handling these tasks well, the gesture demonstrates that you are there to help. Offer to drop off a home-cooked or restaurant take-out meal. Ask if you can help by picking the kids up from school, watering their garden, or assisting them in some other way.
Mention a specific date and time in your offer, rather than asking someone when they're available. This gives them one less thing to decide or think about during a stressful time.
Ask before offering food. Particularly in certain cultures or after funerals, the person may be overwhelmed with pies and casseroles. Something else could be more helpful.
1-6. Refer to a shared religion.
If you both belong to the same religion or share similar spiritual views, use that to bond with the person. Offer to pray for them or attend a religious ceremony with them.
Do not reference your religious views when expressing sympathy to someone who does not share them.
2. Communicating Mindfully
2-1. Acknowledge the event or problem.
Use these phrases to explain why you're approaching the person in need of sympathy, if you heard about the problem from someone else. If they started the conversation, respond by acknowledging the other person's feelings.
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"I heard you were going through tough times."
"That sounds painful."
2-2. Ask the person how they're coping.
Some people respond to stress or grief by becoming busier. They may not take the time off to think about their emotional state. Make eye contact and use a phrase that makes it clear you're asking about their feelings, not day-to-day life:
"How are you feeling?"
"How are you coping with everything?"
2-3. Express support.
Make it clear that you are on their side. Mention friends and family that may also be able to support them, reminding them that they have other people to turn to:
"You are in my thoughts."
"I am here when you need me."
"I'll be in touch later this week about helping out with _____."
Avoid the very common "Let me know if there's anything I can do." This actually makes the person have to think of something for you, which they may not feel capable of doing at this time.
2-4. Let the person know that emotions are appropriate.
Some people have trouble expressing emotions, or feel that they are experiencing the "wrong" emotions. Use these phrases to let them know it's okay:
"It's okay to cry if you need to."
"I accept whatever you need to do right now."
"It's normal to feel guilty." (or anger, or whichever emotion the other person just expressed)
3. Avoiding Common Mistakes
3-1. Avoid claiming to know or understand what someone is going through.
Even if you went through a similar experience, realize that everyone copes in different ways. You may describe how you felt during that experience or suggest ideas that might help, but understand that the other person may be going through a different struggle.
Instead, try saying something like, "I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. I know how sad I was when my own dog died."
Most importantly, never claim that your own problems are more serious (even if you feel that way). You are here to support the other person.
3-2. Avoid minimizing or invalidating the other person's feelings.
Acknowledge that the other person's problems are real. Focus on listening to their problems and supporting them as they deal with them, not telling them that they're not worth the attention.
Try not to accidentally minimize or invalidate your friend's experience. For example, if you try to comfort a friend who has lost their pet by saying, "I'm sorry you lost your dog. At least it could be worse - you could have lost a member of your family," you're actually invalidating their grief for their pet, even if you don't mean it that way. This could make them feel reluctant to share their feelings with you, or even feel ashamed of them.
Another example of invalidation is the well-meaning, "Don't feel that way." For example, if your friend is struggling with body image issues after an illness and tells you that they feel unattractive, it would be unhelpful to reply: "Don't think like that! You're still attractive." This tells your friend that they are "wrong" or "bad" for having their feelings. You can validate the feelings without agreeing with the idea behind them. For example: "I hear you saying that you're feeling unattractive, and I'm so sorry that hurts you. That must really suck. If it helps, I think you're still very attractive."
Similarly, don't say "at least it's not as bad as it could be." This can be interpreted both as a dismissal of the person's problems, and as a reminder of additional problems in the person's life.
3-3. Avoid expressing personal beliefs that the other person does not share.
They may not be comforted by such statements, or they may even be offended by such statements. They can often feel impersonal or prepackaged. It is usually best to keep your focus on the person you are interacting with and what you can do for them.
For example, you may be a deeply religious person who believes in an afterlife, but the other person does not. It may feel natural to you to say something like, "At least your loved one is in a better place now," but the other person may not get comfort from that.
3-4. Stay away from pressuring someone to use your solution.
It's reasonable to suggest a course of action that you think might help someone, but don't stress the person out by bringing it up repeatedly. You might see it as an obvious, easy solution, but recognize that the other person might not agree.
Once you have said your piece, let it go. You may be able to bring up the point again if new information comes up. For example, "I know you don't want to take pain medication, but I heard about a safer drug that might have fewer risks. Are you interested in the name so you can research it yourself?" If the person declines, drop it.
3-5. Remain calm and kind.
You may think the other person's problems are petty, or less serious than your own. You may even be jealous of someone whose problems seem so minor. This is not the correct time to bring this up, and you may never have a good opportunity to do so. It's better to politely say goodbye and leave the room, rather than express your irritation.
3-6. Don't act hard or uncaring.
Some people think that "tough love" is an effective therapy technique, but this is the opposite of acting sympathetic. If someone is grieving or sad for a long period of time, they may be depressed. In this case, they should talk to a doctor or therapist; trying to get them to "toughen up" or "move on" is not helpful.
3-7. Don't insult the person.
This may seem obvious, but during stressful times, it can be easy to lose control of your emotions. If you find yourself arguing with the person, insulting them, or criticizing their behavior, leave the room and apologize once you've calmed down.
Do not even jokingly insult someone who needs sympathy. They may be feeling vulnerable and easily hurt.
Tips
Empathy is different than sympathy. When you offer sympathy, you're offering care and concern for their suffering, but you are not necessarily feeling it yourself. When you attempt to empathize, you actively imagine yourself in the other person's unique situation — you try to "put yourself in their shoes," essentially. You try to imagine what it is like to experience the other person's emotions, so that you can try to understand what they are feeling.[18]
X
Research source
One is not "better" than the other, but it's helpful to know the difference.
If you're not usually skilled at expressing emotions or sympathy, just making the attempt can show a loved one that you're putting in extra effort for them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Expressing Sympathy\\n1-1. Give the other person a chance to talk about their emotions.\\nOffer to listen to them talk about how they're feeling, or how they're trying to cope with their problems. You don't need to have solutions at hand. Sometimes a sympathetic ear can be a great help on its own.\\nWhen you learn to focus your attention on the other person and their emotions, you will naturally become more sympathetic.\\n1-2. Use body language to express sympathy.\\nEven while listening, you can show that you are paying attention and sympathizing with your body language. Make eye contact, and nod in understanding occasionally. Keep your body turned toward the person instead of to one side.\\nDon't try to multitask, and avoid distractions during the conversation. Turn off your phone if you can, to avoid interruption.\\nKeep your body open by leaving your arms and legs uncrossed. If your hands are visible, keep them relaxed and facing slightly sideways. This will help communicate that you are engaged in listening to the other person.\\nLean toward the person. Leaning in toward the other person may make them feel more comfortable talking to you.\\nNod as the person is talking. Nodding and other encouraging gestures help people feel more comfortable talking.\\nMirror the other person's body language. This isn't to say that you have to directly copy everything they do, but keeping your body in a similar posture to theirs (for example, facing them if they are facing you, keeping your legs pointed in the same direction as theirs) will help create a supportive atmosphere with your body language.\\n1-3. Listen first, offer comments later.\\nIn many cases, the other person needs you to listen as they explore their feelings and thoughts. This is being supportive, even if it does not feel particularly active or helping to you. Often, if you offer advice before it is asked, you risk making the other person think you are making their experience about you.\\n\\\"No-solution listening,\\\" according to author Michael Rooni, allows you to provide other people with a safe space to vent and work through their feelings. They do not feel pressure to take your advice, nor feel like you are \\\"taking over\\\" their problem or situation.\\nIf in doubt, ask: \\\"I want to support you however you need me to. Do you want me to help you problem-solve, or do you just need a space to vent? Either way, I'm here for you.\\\"\\nIf you went through similar experiences, you may be able to help with practical advice or methods of coping. Frame your advice as your personal experience, not a command. For example: \\\"I'm so sorry you broke your leg. I remember how much it sucked when I broke my ankle a few years ago. Would it be helpful if I shared what I did to cope?\\\"\\nMake sure not to come across as dictating a certain course of action. If you do have advice and the person is interested in hearing it, phrase it as a probing question, such as \\\"Have you considered ___?\\\" or \\\"Do you think it would help if you _____?\\\" These types of questions acknowledge the other person's agency in making their own decisions and sound less bossy than \\\"If I were you, I'd do ______.\\\"\\n1-4. Use appropriate physical contact.\\nPhysical contact can be comforting, but only if it is appropriate in the context of your relationship. If you are used to hugging the person who needs sympathy, do so. If either of you are not comfortable with that, briefly touch their arm or shoulder instead.\\nBe aware that some people may feel too emotionally vulnerable or raw to enjoy a hug at that moment, even if hugging is commonly part of your interactions. Take note of the other person's body language and judge whether they seem open. You can also ask, \\\"Would a hug make you feel better?\\\"\\n1-5. Offer to help out with everyday work.\\nSomeone going through a hard time in their life will likely appreciate some assistance in day-to-day tasks. Even if they seem to be handling these tasks well, the gesture demonstrates that you are there to help. Offer to drop off a home-cooked or restaurant take-out meal. Ask if you can help by picking the kids up from school, watering their garden, or assisting them in some other way.\\nMention a specific date and time in your offer, rather than asking someone when they're available. This gives them one less thing to decide or think about during a stressful time.\\nAsk before offering food. Particularly in certain cultures or after funerals, the person may be overwhelmed with pies and casseroles. Something else could be more helpful.\\n1-6. Refer to a shared religion.\\nIf you both belong to the same religion or share similar spiritual views, use that to bond with the person. Offer to pray for them or attend a religious ceremony with them.\\nDo not reference your religious views when expressing sympathy to someone who does not share them.\\n2. Communicating Mindfully\\n2-1. Acknowledge the event or problem.\\nUse these phrases to explain why you're approaching the person in need of sympathy, if you heard about the problem from someone else. If they started the conversation, respond by acknowledging the other person's feelings.\\n\\\"I'm sorry to hear that.\\\"\\n\\\"I heard you were going through tough times.\\\"\\n\\\"That sounds painful.\\\"\\n2-2. Ask the person how they're coping.\\nSome people respond to stress or grief by becoming busier. They may not take the time off to think about their emotional state. Make eye contact and use a phrase that makes it clear you're asking about their feelings, not day-to-day life:\\n\\\"How are you feeling?\\\"\\n\\\"How are you coping with everything?\\\"\\n2-3. Express support.\\nMake it clear that you are on their side. Mention friends and family that may also be able to support them, reminding them that they have other people to turn to:\\n\\\"You are in my thoughts.\\\"\\n\\\"I am here when you need me.\\\"\\n\\\"I'll be in touch later this week about helping out with _____.\\\"\\nAvoid the very common \\\"Let me know if there's anything I can do.\\\" This actually makes the person have to think of something for you, which they may not feel capable of doing at this time.\\n2-4. Let the person know that emotions are appropriate.\\nSome people have trouble expressing emotions, or feel that they are experiencing the \\\"wrong\\\" emotions. Use these phrases to let them know it's okay:\\n\\\"It's okay to cry if you need to.\\\"\\n\\\"I accept whatever you need to do right now.\\\"\\n\\\"It's normal to feel guilty.\\\" (or anger, or whichever emotion the other person just expressed)\\n3. Avoiding Common Mistakes\\n3-1. Avoid claiming to know or understand what someone is going through.\\nEven if you went through a similar experience, realize that everyone copes in different ways. You may describe how you felt during that experience or suggest ideas that might help, but understand that the other person may be going through a different struggle.\\nInstead, try saying something like, \\\"I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. I know how sad I was when my own dog died.\\\"\\nMost importantly, never claim that your own problems are more serious (even if you feel that way). You are here to support the other person.\\n3-2. Avoid minimizing or invalidating the other person's feelings.\\nAcknowledge that the other person's problems are real. Focus on listening to their problems and supporting them as they deal with them, not telling them that they're not worth the attention.\\nTry not to accidentally minimize or invalidate your friend's experience. For example, if you try to comfort a friend who has lost their pet by saying, \\\"I'm sorry you lost your dog. At least it could be worse - you could have lost a member of your family,\\\" you're actually invalidating their grief for their pet, even if you don't mean it that way. This could make them feel reluctant to share their feelings with you, or even feel ashamed of them.\\nAnother example of invalidation is the well-meaning, \\\"Don't feel that way.\\\" For example, if your friend is struggling with body image issues after an illness and tells you that they feel unattractive, it would be unhelpful to reply: \\\"Don't think like that! You're still attractive.\\\" This tells your friend that they are \\\"wrong\\\" or \\\"bad\\\" for having their feelings. You can validate the feelings without agreeing with the idea behind them. For example: \\\"I hear you saying that you're feeling unattractive, and I'm so sorry that hurts you. That must really suck. If it helps, I think you're still very attractive.\\\"\\nSimilarly, don't say \\\"at least it's not as bad as it could be.\\\" This can be interpreted both as a dismissal of the person's problems, and as a reminder of additional problems in the person's life.\\n3-3. Avoid expressing personal beliefs that the other person does not share.\\nThey may not be comforted by such statements, or they may even be offended by such statements. They can often feel impersonal or prepackaged. It is usually best to keep your focus on the person you are interacting with and what you can do for them.\\nFor example, you may be a deeply religious person who believes in an afterlife, but the other person does not. It may feel natural to you to say something like, \\\"At least your loved one is in a better place now,\\\" but the other person may not get comfort from that.\\n3-4. Stay away from pressuring someone to use your solution.\\nIt's reasonable to suggest a course of action that you think might help someone, but don't stress the person out by bringing it up repeatedly. You might see it as an obvious, easy solution, but recognize that the other person might not agree.\\nOnce you have said your piece, let it go. You may be able to bring up the point again if new information comes up. For example, \\\"I know you don't want to take pain medication, but I heard about a safer drug that might have fewer risks. Are you interested in the name so you can research it yourself?\\\" If the person declines, drop it.\\n3-5. Remain calm and kind.\\nYou may think the other person's problems are petty, or less serious than your own. You may even be jealous of someone whose problems seem so minor. This is not the correct time to bring this up, and you may never have a good opportunity to do so. It's better to politely say goodbye and leave the room, rather than express your irritation.\\n3-6. Don't act hard or uncaring.\\nSome people think that \\\"tough love\\\" is an effective therapy technique, but this is the opposite of acting sympathetic. If someone is grieving or sad for a long period of time, they may be depressed. In this case, they should talk to a doctor or therapist; trying to get them to \\\"toughen up\\\" or \\\"move on\\\" is not helpful.\\n3-7. Don't insult the person.\\nThis may seem obvious, but during stressful times, it can be easy to lose control of your emotions. If you find yourself arguing with the person, insulting them, or criticizing their behavior, leave the room and apologize once you've calmed down.\\nDo not even jokingly insult someone who needs sympathy. They may be feeling vulnerable and easily hurt.\\nTips\\nEmpathy is different than sympathy. When you offer sympathy, you're offering care and concern for their suffering, but you are not necessarily feeling it yourself. When you attempt to empathize, you actively imagine yourself in the other person's unique situation — you try to \\\"put yourself in their shoes,\\\" essentially. You try to imagine what it is like to experience the other person's emotions, so that you can try to understand what they are feeling.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n One is not \\\"better\\\" than the other, but it's helpful to know the difference.\\nIf you're not usually skilled at expressing emotions or sympathy, just making the attempt can show a loved one that you're putting in extra effort for them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sympathy involves an attempt to understand someone's problems from a different perspective than your own. Even if this is something you struggle with, you can support your friends and loved ones by learning to express sympathy. Follow these steps to do so, keeping your doubts or negative reactions to yourself, and you may find that you develop more genuine sympathetic feelings than you expected.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Expressing Sympathy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give the other person a chance to talk about their emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Offer to listen to them talk about how they're feeling, or how they're trying to cope with their problems. You don't need to have solutions at hand. Sometimes a sympathetic ear can be a great help on its own.\\nWhen you learn to focus your attention on the other person and their emotions, you will naturally become more sympathetic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use body language to express sympathy.\", \"描述\": \"Even while listening, you can show that you are paying attention and sympathizing with your body language. Make eye contact, and nod in understanding occasionally. Keep your body turned toward the person instead of to one side.\\nDon't try to multitask, and avoid distractions during the conversation. Turn off your phone if you can, to avoid interruption.\\nKeep your body open by leaving your arms and legs uncrossed. If your hands are visible, keep them relaxed and facing slightly sideways. This will help communicate that you are engaged in listening to the other person.\\nLean toward the person. Leaning in toward the other person may make them feel more comfortable talking to you.\\nNod as the person is talking. Nodding and other encouraging gestures help people feel more comfortable talking.\\nMirror the other person's body language. This isn't to say that you have to directly copy everything they do, but keeping your body in a similar posture to theirs (for example, facing them if they are facing you, keeping your legs pointed in the same direction as theirs) will help create a supportive atmosphere with your body language.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen first, offer comments later.\", \"描述\": \"In many cases, the other person needs you to listen as they explore their feelings and thoughts. This is being supportive, even if it does not feel particularly active or helping to you. Often, if you offer advice before it is asked, you risk making the other person think you are making their experience about you.\\n\\\"No-solution listening,\\\" according to author Michael Rooni, allows you to provide other people with a safe space to vent and work through their feelings. They do not feel pressure to take your advice, nor feel like you are \\\"taking over\\\" their problem or situation.\\nIf in doubt, ask: \\\"I want to support you however you need me to. Do you want me to help you problem-solve, or do you just need a space to vent? Either way, I'm here for you.\\\"\\nIf you went through similar experiences, you may be able to help with practical advice or methods of coping. Frame your advice as your personal experience, not a command. For example: \\\"I'm so sorry you broke your leg. I remember how much it sucked when I broke my ankle a few years ago. Would it be helpful if I shared what I did to cope?\\\"\\nMake sure not to come across as dictating a certain course of action. If you do have advice and the person is interested in hearing it, phrase it as a probing question, such as \\\"Have you considered ___?\\\" or \\\"Do you think it would help if you _____?\\\" These types of questions acknowledge the other person's agency in making their own decisions and sound less bossy than \\\"If I were you, I'd do ______.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use appropriate physical contact.\", \"描述\": \"Physical contact can be comforting, but only if it is appropriate in the context of your relationship. If you are used to hugging the person who needs sympathy, do so. If either of you are not comfortable with that, briefly touch their arm or shoulder instead.\\nBe aware that some people may feel too emotionally vulnerable or raw to enjoy a hug at that moment, even if hugging is commonly part of your interactions. Take note of the other person's body language and judge whether they seem open. You can also ask, \\\"Would a hug make you feel better?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Offer to help out with everyday work.\", \"描述\": \"Someone going through a hard time in their life will likely appreciate some assistance in day-to-day tasks. Even if they seem to be handling these tasks well, the gesture demonstrates that you are there to help. Offer to drop off a home-cooked or restaurant take-out meal. Ask if you can help by picking the kids up from school, watering their garden, or assisting them in some other way.\\nMention a specific date and time in your offer, rather than asking someone when they're available. This gives them one less thing to decide or think about during a stressful time.\\nAsk before offering food. Particularly in certain cultures or after funerals, the person may be overwhelmed with pies and casseroles. Something else could be more helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Refer to a shared religion.\", \"描述\": \"If you both belong to the same religion or share similar spiritual views, use that to bond with the person. Offer to pray for them or attend a religious ceremony with them.\\nDo not reference your religious views when expressing sympathy to someone who does not share them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicating Mindfully\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the event or problem.\", \"描述\": \"Use these phrases to explain why you're approaching the person in need of sympathy, if you heard about the problem from someone else. If they started the conversation, respond by acknowledging the other person's feelings.\\n\\\"I'm sorry to hear that.\\\"\\n\\\"I heard you were going through tough times.\\\"\\n\\\"That sounds painful.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask the person how they're coping.\", \"描述\": \"Some people respond to stress or grief by becoming busier. They may not take the time off to think about their emotional state. Make eye contact and use a phrase that makes it clear you're asking about their feelings, not day-to-day life:\\n\\\"How are you feeling?\\\"\\n\\\"How are you coping with everything?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Express support.\", \"描述\": \"Make it clear that you are on their side. Mention friends and family that may also be able to support them, reminding them that they have other people to turn to:\\n\\\"You are in my thoughts.\\\"\\n\\\"I am here when you need me.\\\"\\n\\\"I'll be in touch later this week about helping out with _____.\\\"\\nAvoid the very common \\\"Let me know if there's anything I can do.\\\" This actually makes the person have to think of something for you, which they may not feel capable of doing at this time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let the person know that emotions are appropriate.\", \"描述\": \"Some people have trouble expressing emotions, or feel that they are experiencing the \\\"wrong\\\" emotions. Use these phrases to let them know it's okay:\\n\\\"It's okay to cry if you need to.\\\"\\n\\\"I accept whatever you need to do right now.\\\"\\n\\\"It's normal to feel guilty.\\\" (or anger, or whichever emotion the other person just expressed)\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Common Mistakes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid claiming to know or understand what someone is going through.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you went through a similar experience, realize that everyone copes in different ways. You may describe how you felt during that experience or suggest ideas that might help, but understand that the other person may be going through a different struggle.\\nInstead, try saying something like, \\\"I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. I know how sad I was when my own dog died.\\\"\\nMost importantly, never claim that your own problems are more serious (even if you feel that way). You are here to support the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid minimizing or invalidating the other person's feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Acknowledge that the other person's problems are real. Focus on listening to their problems and supporting them as they deal with them, not telling them that they're not worth the attention.\\nTry not to accidentally minimize or invalidate your friend's experience. For example, if you try to comfort a friend who has lost their pet by saying, \\\"I'm sorry you lost your dog. At least it could be worse - you could have lost a member of your family,\\\" you're actually invalidating their grief for their pet, even if you don't mean it that way. This could make them feel reluctant to share their feelings with you, or even feel ashamed of them.\\nAnother example of invalidation is the well-meaning, \\\"Don't feel that way.\\\" For example, if your friend is struggling with body image issues after an illness and tells you that they feel unattractive, it would be unhelpful to reply: \\\"Don't think like that! You're still attractive.\\\" This tells your friend that they are \\\"wrong\\\" or \\\"bad\\\" for having their feelings. You can validate the feelings without agreeing with the idea behind them. For example: \\\"I hear you saying that you're feeling unattractive, and I'm so sorry that hurts you. That must really suck. If it helps, I think you're still very attractive.\\\"\\nSimilarly, don't say \\\"at least it's not as bad as it could be.\\\" This can be interpreted both as a dismissal of the person's problems, and as a reminder of additional problems in the person's life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid expressing personal beliefs that the other person does not share.\", \"描述\": \"They may not be comforted by such statements, or they may even be offended by such statements. They can often feel impersonal or prepackaged. It is usually best to keep your focus on the person you are interacting with and what you can do for them.\\nFor example, you may be a deeply religious person who believes in an afterlife, but the other person does not. It may feel natural to you to say something like, \\\"At least your loved one is in a better place now,\\\" but the other person may not get comfort from that.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay away from pressuring someone to use your solution.\", \"描述\": \"It's reasonable to suggest a course of action that you think might help someone, but don't stress the person out by bringing it up repeatedly. You might see it as an obvious, easy solution, but recognize that the other person might not agree.\\nOnce you have said your piece, let it go. You may be able to bring up the point again if new information comes up. For example, \\\"I know you don't want to take pain medication, but I heard about a safer drug that might have fewer risks. Are you interested in the name so you can research it yourself?\\\" If the person declines, drop it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remain calm and kind.\", \"描述\": \"You may think the other person's problems are petty, or less serious than your own. You may even be jealous of someone whose problems seem so minor. This is not the correct time to bring this up, and you may never have a good opportunity to do so. It's better to politely say goodbye and leave the room, rather than express your irritation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't act hard or uncaring.\", \"描述\": \"Some people think that \\\"tough love\\\" is an effective therapy technique, but this is the opposite of acting sympathetic. If someone is grieving or sad for a long period of time, they may be depressed. In this case, they should talk to a doctor or therapist; trying to get them to \\\"toughen up\\\" or \\\"move on\\\" is not helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't insult the person.\", \"描述\": \"This may seem obvious, but during stressful times, it can be easy to lose control of your emotions. If you find yourself arguing with the person, insulting them, or criticizing their behavior, leave the room and apologize once you've calmed down.\\nDo not even jokingly insult someone who needs sympathy. They may be feeling vulnerable and easily hurt.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Empathy is different than sympathy. When you offer sympathy, you're offering care and concern for their suffering, but you are not necessarily feeling it yourself. When you attempt to empathize, you actively imagine yourself in the other person's unique situation — you try to \\\"put yourself in their shoes,\\\" essentially. You try to imagine what it is like to experience the other person's emotions, so that you can try to understand what they are feeling.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n One is not \\\"better\\\" than the other, but it's helpful to know the difference.\\n\", \"If you're not usually skilled at expressing emotions or sympathy, just making the attempt can show a loved one that you're putting in extra effort for them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,213 | How to Be Tactful | 1. Being Tactful in Conversation
1-1. Think before you speak.
Allow yourself a pause to consider how your words could be perceived, and to prevent yourself from making hasty comments. You may have an immediate gut reaction to something your boss or friend is saying, but take a moment to gather your thoughts before you come right out and say what you want to say. Ask yourself if it's the best time to present your ideas, if you should spend some time finding a better way to say what you want to say, and if people will be receptive to your comments right then.
Though speaking with your gut can lead to a lot of interesting ideas, it can also help to take a few minutes to formulate your thoughts first. If you instantly disagree with something your boss says, for example, you're better off thinking of concrete examples for why you disagree instead of just blurting out that you think it's a bad idea.
Notice the people around you. You may want to make a comment about how excited you are for your wedding, when one of the people there is going through a bitter divorce. Though you don't have to hide your enthusiasm forever, you may be better off finding a better time to make your comment.
1-2. Deflect negative comments.
If people are making negative comments around you, you should avoid getting wrapped up in them if you want to be tactful. This is especially true if you're in the workplace and don't want to be part of the office politics. There are several ways in which you can deflect negative comments and take the high road in testy situations. Here are some ways to do it:
Gently correct gossip. Example: "I'm sorry you heard that about Jane Doe. When I spoke to her, she said that it was just a rumor about her getting fired."
Say something non-committal. Example: "I've never met John Doe, so I wouldn't have a clue about his drinking habits."
Say something positive. "Mary Sue may be late a lot, but she does really good work." Or, "Bill Jones has always been civil to me personally."
Change the subject. "You know, your comment about the boss reminds me of something. There's an office party coming up, right? Are you bringing anyone?"
Remove yourself from the situation. If people keep being negative and the situation isn't letting up, then you can excuse yourself and say you need to get back to class or work. You should make it seem unrelated to the conversation at hand.
Ask the person nicely to stop. Say "I'm really not interested in gossiping about our neighbor," or "I'd prefer not talk about that in the office."
1-3. Start with a positive comment before giving negative feedback.
If you have to give negative feedback to someone, whether it's a coworker or your best friend, you should couch it in a way that makes the person the most receptive. This doesn't mean you should lie to the person if things aren't going well, but that you should start off with something positive so the person sees that you care about him or her. Here are some ways to do it:
If you want to give negative feedback to a friend, you can say something like, "I think it's so sweet of you to always want to set me up with the single guys you know. But when you try to do it every time we go out, it kind of makes me feel pathetic."
If you want to give negative feedback to a co-worker, you can say something like, "I really appreciate how hard you've been working on the new project. However, I think the project can be even better if you let Mary help you out a bit more."
1-4. Choose your words carefully.
When it comes to being tactful, one of the most important things to keep in mind is that you should be aware of the words you use to express your ideas. You can still say what you want to say without offending people or coming off mean or like a know-it-all. When you're getting ready to state an opinion, ask yourself if the words you're using are biased, hurtful, patronizing, or just all wrong for the occasion. Then, find the words that will help further your ideas without offending anyone.
For example, if you want to talk to a coworker about how she needs to get her work done faster, don't tell her she's "slow"; instead, ask her if she can think of ways to be "more efficient."
For example, if you're telling your boss you're leaving your job, you don't have to say something like, "I am just way too smart for these people"; instead, you can say something like, "This company isn't the best fit for me."
1-5. Choose your timing carefully.
When it comes to being tactful, having great timing is half the battle. You may have something perfectly nice to say, which can ruin a social situation if you say it at the wrong time, and can lead to hurt feelings without you meaning to do any harm. Before you make a comment, ask yourself if this is the best time to make the comment, and if everyone there will be receptive to it. Ask yourself if it would be better to wait to get a more positive response, even if you're dying to say what you want to say.
For example, if your friend Linda is excited to tell all of her friends about her recent engagement, then you may have to hold off the news that you're pregnant for another week, so Linda can enjoy the spotlight for a bit longer. You don't want her to feel like you trumped her big day.
For example, if your boss is wrapping up a long presentation at the end of the work day, this may not be the best time to ask your question about an unrelated report. Asking the question now will only lead to confusion and your boss will be focused on the presentation and won't have the energy to address your concerns; if you wait until the next day, your boss will be happier to discuss the issue with you.
1-6. Decline invitations politely.
If someone asks you to do something, you should find a way to politely decline it, even if your gut is screaming, "Heck no!" Whether you're being asked to attend the baby shower of a person you barely know or to stay late at work on a Friday night, instead of immediately saying no and looking angry or upset about it, you should take the time to say how much you would like to do it and then give a brief explanation or apology about not being able to do it. This will still get the same message across, but you won't offend anyone in the process.
For example, if your boss asks you to take on another project and you just don't have any more time on your hands, you can say something like, "Thank you so much for thinking of me for this opportunity. Unfortunately, I'm still wrapping up those two other projects you asked me about and I won't be able to take on the extra work. But I would love to help out on something similar in the future."
For example, if your friend invites you to go hiking but hiking isn't really your thing, you can say something like, "Your weekend trip to the Redwood forest sounds amazing, but I'm going to take it easy this weekend — I've had a crazy week at work and need to decompress. How about we catch up over drinks next Friday?"
1-7. Don't reveal too much personal information to people you don't know very well.
Another thing that people who lack tact tend to do is to go about announcing their business to every person on the street. If you want to have tact, then you can't go around telling anyone within earshot about your latest breakup, your new rash, or all of your personal problems. Telling people you don't know well all your business will only make them uncomfortable and won't lead to any new friendships; have tact and be aware of when people would like to hear more and when enough is enough.
This also goes for revealing personal information about other people. If you're with a close friend and a few less-than-close friends, don't pick up on a private conversation you had with that friend in front of the other people; your friend might have been happy to talk about his complicated relationship with his mother with you, but he may not want the world to know about it.
1-8. Make sure your body language reflects your words.
It's great if your words are sending a friendly and polite message, but if your body is telling people something different, then they'll quickly get a different picture. If you're telling someone something important in a delicate way, then you should make eye contact, face the person, and not hunch over or look at the floor. Give the person your attention and show that you actually care. It'll be hard for them to take you seriously if you're telling the person that he or she is doing great at work while you're looking in the other direction.
Actions really can speak louder than words, so make sure that your body isn't sending a different message from your mouth.
2. Being Considerate of Others
2-1. Consider the other person's viewpoint and acknowledge it.
Another part of having tact is being able to understand where another person is coming from. Though voicing your own ideas is important, it's also important to understand that another person may not see things the way you see them. If you let the person know that you understand where he or she is coming from, they'll be much more likely to listen to you and to take your ideas seriously.
For example, saying something like, "Mary, I understand that you've had a lot on your plate recently..." can make it easier for you to ask Mary to help out with another project. If you just say, "Hey, can you stay late to finish up a new report for me?" then Mary is likely to think you're insensitive.
2-2. Consider cultural differences and try to act in a sensitive way without being asked.
There are many cultural differences that should be acknowledged in our world, which are based on where people are from, how they were raised, what their race and backgrounds may be, or even what generation they are coming from. What may be perfectly acceptable in one culture can be considered rude in another, so ask yourself if you're being sensitive to the different cultures around you before you make a comment.
2-3. Be discreet.
You may find that you need to correct something a co-worker said during a presentation, or that one of your friends has a giant chunk of spinach in his teeth. Instead of pointing this out in front of everyone, you should try to pull the person aside to let them know about the situation. Showing discretion is a big part of having tact, because it will help you know what should be said under what circumstances. It's an important skill you should have in the professional and the social world.
For example, if you and your partner got a raise but no one else in the company did, it's best not to brag about it in front of everyone. You can have a private celebration later.
2-4. Be gracious even when you're irritated.
Keep your cool and speak kindly and sincerely. Assume the best. Though you may be dying to tell your friend what you really think of her behavior, or you really want to yell at your co-worker for ruining a project, you should hold your tongue and be as kind as possible until you find a time to state your true feelings. There's no point in saying something you'll regret just because you're irked in the moment.
For example, if someone gives you an ugly sweater, say: "Thanks so much for the present. I'm touched you thought of me."
2-5. Have empathy for others.
Look around you before you make a comment and see how the other people there will receive it. It's important to know where people are coming from before you blurt out your political, religious, or other personal opinions. Though you can't completely know where every person is coming from when you speak, it's important to have a sense of the mindset and experiences of the people around you so you can avoid offending people.
For example, if you just got a raise and Bob got fired, this may not be the time to brag about it.
If one of the people around you is a devout Christian, then it's not the time to talk about how you think religion is pointless.
If someone around you is exhausted after a long day, don't expect the person to help you resolve a huge emotional conflict. Have patience.
2-6. Be an active listener.
Being an active listener is a crucial component of being tactful. There's a difference between what someone is saying to you and what that person is really thinking, so you should really look and hear the person out to get the real message. If your friend is telling you that she's over her break up and totally ready to go to a party with you, but her eyes and gestures are telling you otherwise, then find a way to kindly tell her that it's okay if she's not ready to go out.
Paying attention to how people are really feeling as they're speaking can help you respond to them in the most tactful way possible. For example, if your co-worker is really struggling with a project but is afraid to ask for help, listen for cues, such as nervousness, stuttering, or repetitive speech to see if he or she is trying to reach out to you.
Actively listening can also help you see if a person has shut down and doesn't want to hear any more about a subject. If you're giving feedback to a coworker who is already upset by it, you can tell by his or her words that he may not be ready to hear more; you should gracefully end the conversation and pick it up later.
2-7. Be respectful.
Being respectful goes hand in hand with being tactful. If you want to have true tact, then you have to treat other people with respect. This means letting them finish talking instead of interrupting them, giving them your full attention when they are trying to tell you something, and asking people how they are doing before jumping in to deliver some bad news. Treat each and every individual with care and kindness and understand that it's important to make people feel that they are treated fairly, even if they may not be your favorite people on the planet.
Being respectful is a matter of common decency. Don't curse in front of your elders; don't use lewd language in front of people you don't know well. This will come off as very tasteless, and therefore lacking tact.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Tactful in Conversation\\n1-1. Think before you speak.\\nAllow yourself a pause to consider how your words could be perceived, and to prevent yourself from making hasty comments. You may have an immediate gut reaction to something your boss or friend is saying, but take a moment to gather your thoughts before you come right out and say what you want to say. Ask yourself if it's the best time to present your ideas, if you should spend some time finding a better way to say what you want to say, and if people will be receptive to your comments right then.\\nThough speaking with your gut can lead to a lot of interesting ideas, it can also help to take a few minutes to formulate your thoughts first. If you instantly disagree with something your boss says, for example, you're better off thinking of concrete examples for why you disagree instead of just blurting out that you think it's a bad idea.\\nNotice the people around you. You may want to make a comment about how excited you are for your wedding, when one of the people there is going through a bitter divorce. Though you don't have to hide your enthusiasm forever, you may be better off finding a better time to make your comment.\\n1-2. Deflect negative comments.\\nIf people are making negative comments around you, you should avoid getting wrapped up in them if you want to be tactful. This is especially true if you're in the workplace and don't want to be part of the office politics. There are several ways in which you can deflect negative comments and take the high road in testy situations. Here are some ways to do it:\\nGently correct gossip. Example: \\\"I'm sorry you heard that about Jane Doe. When I spoke to her, she said that it was just a rumor about her getting fired.\\\"\\nSay something non-committal. Example: \\\"I've never met John Doe, so I wouldn't have a clue about his drinking habits.\\\"\\nSay something positive. \\\"Mary Sue may be late a lot, but she does really good work.\\\" Or, \\\"Bill Jones has always been civil to me personally.\\\"\\nChange the subject. \\\"You know, your comment about the boss reminds me of something. There's an office party coming up, right? Are you bringing anyone?\\\"\\nRemove yourself from the situation. If people keep being negative and the situation isn't letting up, then you can excuse yourself and say you need to get back to class or work. You should make it seem unrelated to the conversation at hand.\\nAsk the person nicely to stop. Say \\\"I'm really not interested in gossiping about our neighbor,\\\" or \\\"I'd prefer not talk about that in the office.\\\"\\n1-3. Start with a positive comment before giving negative feedback.\\nIf you have to give negative feedback to someone, whether it's a coworker or your best friend, you should couch it in a way that makes the person the most receptive. This doesn't mean you should lie to the person if things aren't going well, but that you should start off with something positive so the person sees that you care about him or her. Here are some ways to do it:\\nIf you want to give negative feedback to a friend, you can say something like, \\\"I think it's so sweet of you to always want to set me up with the single guys you know. But when you try to do it every time we go out, it kind of makes me feel pathetic.\\\"\\nIf you want to give negative feedback to a co-worker, you can say something like, \\\"I really appreciate how hard you've been working on the new project. However, I think the project can be even better if you let Mary help you out a bit more.\\\"\\n1-4. Choose your words carefully.\\nWhen it comes to being tactful, one of the most important things to keep in mind is that you should be aware of the words you use to express your ideas. You can still say what you want to say without offending people or coming off mean or like a know-it-all. When you're getting ready to state an opinion, ask yourself if the words you're using are biased, hurtful, patronizing, or just all wrong for the occasion. Then, find the words that will help further your ideas without offending anyone.\\nFor example, if you want to talk to a coworker about how she needs to get her work done faster, don't tell her she's \\\"slow\\\"; instead, ask her if she can think of ways to be \\\"more efficient.\\\"\\nFor example, if you're telling your boss you're leaving your job, you don't have to say something like, \\\"I am just way too smart for these people\\\"; instead, you can say something like, \\\"This company isn't the best fit for me.\\\"\\n1-5. Choose your timing carefully.\\nWhen it comes to being tactful, having great timing is half the battle. You may have something perfectly nice to say, which can ruin a social situation if you say it at the wrong time, and can lead to hurt feelings without you meaning to do any harm. Before you make a comment, ask yourself if this is the best time to make the comment, and if everyone there will be receptive to it. Ask yourself if it would be better to wait to get a more positive response, even if you're dying to say what you want to say.\\nFor example, if your friend Linda is excited to tell all of her friends about her recent engagement, then you may have to hold off the news that you're pregnant for another week, so Linda can enjoy the spotlight for a bit longer. You don't want her to feel like you trumped her big day.\\nFor example, if your boss is wrapping up a long presentation at the end of the work day, this may not be the best time to ask your question about an unrelated report. Asking the question now will only lead to confusion and your boss will be focused on the presentation and won't have the energy to address your concerns; if you wait until the next day, your boss will be happier to discuss the issue with you.\\n1-6. Decline invitations politely.\\nIf someone asks you to do something, you should find a way to politely decline it, even if your gut is screaming, \\\"Heck no!\\\" Whether you're being asked to attend the baby shower of a person you barely know or to stay late at work on a Friday night, instead of immediately saying no and looking angry or upset about it, you should take the time to say how much you would like to do it and then give a brief explanation or apology about not being able to do it. This will still get the same message across, but you won't offend anyone in the process.\\nFor example, if your boss asks you to take on another project and you just don't have any more time on your hands, you can say something like, \\\"Thank you so much for thinking of me for this opportunity. Unfortunately, I'm still wrapping up those two other projects you asked me about and I won't be able to take on the extra work. But I would love to help out on something similar in the future.\\\"\\nFor example, if your friend invites you to go hiking but hiking isn't really your thing, you can say something like, \\\"Your weekend trip to the Redwood forest sounds amazing, but I'm going to take it easy this weekend — I've had a crazy week at work and need to decompress. How about we catch up over drinks next Friday?\\\"\\n1-7. Don't reveal too much personal information to people you don't know very well.\\nAnother thing that people who lack tact tend to do is to go about announcing their business to every person on the street. If you want to have tact, then you can't go around telling anyone within earshot about your latest breakup, your new rash, or all of your personal problems. Telling people you don't know well all your business will only make them uncomfortable and won't lead to any new friendships; have tact and be aware of when people would like to hear more and when enough is enough.\\nThis also goes for revealing personal information about other people. If you're with a close friend and a few less-than-close friends, don't pick up on a private conversation you had with that friend in front of the other people; your friend might have been happy to talk about his complicated relationship with his mother with you, but he may not want the world to know about it.\\n1-8. Make sure your body language reflects your words.\\nIt's great if your words are sending a friendly and polite message, but if your body is telling people something different, then they'll quickly get a different picture. If you're telling someone something important in a delicate way, then you should make eye contact, face the person, and not hunch over or look at the floor. Give the person your attention and show that you actually care. It'll be hard for them to take you seriously if you're telling the person that he or she is doing great at work while you're looking in the other direction.\\nActions really can speak louder than words, so make sure that your body isn't sending a different message from your mouth.\\n2. Being Considerate of Others\\n2-1. Consider the other person's viewpoint and acknowledge it.\\nAnother part of having tact is being able to understand where another person is coming from. Though voicing your own ideas is important, it's also important to understand that another person may not see things the way you see them. If you let the person know that you understand where he or she is coming from, they'll be much more likely to listen to you and to take your ideas seriously.\\nFor example, saying something like, \\\"Mary, I understand that you've had a lot on your plate recently...\\\" can make it easier for you to ask Mary to help out with another project. If you just say, \\\"Hey, can you stay late to finish up a new report for me?\\\" then Mary is likely to think you're insensitive.\\n2-2. Consider cultural differences and try to act in a sensitive way without being asked.\\nThere are many cultural differences that should be acknowledged in our world, which are based on where people are from, how they were raised, what their race and backgrounds may be, or even what generation they are coming from. What may be perfectly acceptable in one culture can be considered rude in another, so ask yourself if you're being sensitive to the different cultures around you before you make a comment.\\n2-3. Be discreet.\\nYou may find that you need to correct something a co-worker said during a presentation, or that one of your friends has a giant chunk of spinach in his teeth. Instead of pointing this out in front of everyone, you should try to pull the person aside to let them know about the situation. Showing discretion is a big part of having tact, because it will help you know what should be said under what circumstances. It's an important skill you should have in the professional and the social world.\\nFor example, if you and your partner got a raise but no one else in the company did, it's best not to brag about it in front of everyone. You can have a private celebration later.\\n2-4. Be gracious even when you're irritated.\\nKeep your cool and speak kindly and sincerely. Assume the best. Though you may be dying to tell your friend what you really think of her behavior, or you really want to yell at your co-worker for ruining a project, you should hold your tongue and be as kind as possible until you find a time to state your true feelings. There's no point in saying something you'll regret just because you're irked in the moment.\\nFor example, if someone gives you an ugly sweater, say: \\\"Thanks so much for the present. I'm touched you thought of me.\\\"\\n2-5. Have empathy for others.\\nLook around you before you make a comment and see how the other people there will receive it. It's important to know where people are coming from before you blurt out your political, religious, or other personal opinions. Though you can't completely know where every person is coming from when you speak, it's important to have a sense of the mindset and experiences of the people around you so you can avoid offending people.\\nFor example, if you just got a raise and Bob got fired, this may not be the time to brag about it.\\nIf one of the people around you is a devout Christian, then it's not the time to talk about how you think religion is pointless.\\nIf someone around you is exhausted after a long day, don't expect the person to help you resolve a huge emotional conflict. Have patience.\\n2-6. Be an active listener.\\nBeing an active listener is a crucial component of being tactful. There's a difference between what someone is saying to you and what that person is really thinking, so you should really look and hear the person out to get the real message. If your friend is telling you that she's over her break up and totally ready to go to a party with you, but her eyes and gestures are telling you otherwise, then find a way to kindly tell her that it's okay if she's not ready to go out.\\nPaying attention to how people are really feeling as they're speaking can help you respond to them in the most tactful way possible. For example, if your co-worker is really struggling with a project but is afraid to ask for help, listen for cues, such as nervousness, stuttering, or repetitive speech to see if he or she is trying to reach out to you.\\nActively listening can also help you see if a person has shut down and doesn't want to hear any more about a subject. If you're giving feedback to a coworker who is already upset by it, you can tell by his or her words that he may not be ready to hear more; you should gracefully end the conversation and pick it up later.\\n2-7. Be respectful.\\nBeing respectful goes hand in hand with being tactful. If you want to have true tact, then you have to treat other people with respect. This means letting them finish talking instead of interrupting them, giving them your full attention when they are trying to tell you something, and asking people how they are doing before jumping in to deliver some bad news. Treat each and every individual with care and kindness and understand that it's important to make people feel that they are treated fairly, even if they may not be your favorite people on the planet.\\nBeing respectful is a matter of common decency. Don't curse in front of your elders; don't use lewd language in front of people you don't know well. This will come off as very tasteless, and therefore lacking tact.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Isaac Newton once said, \\\"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.\\\" Being tactful is just that — having the ability to clearly communicate your message while being sensitive to those around you and not unintentionally offending anyone. Being tactful does not mean hiding what you really feel; it just means presenting your ideas in a way that would make them the most appealing and inoffensive. If you want to know how to be tactful, then you should see Step 1 to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Tactful in Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"Allow yourself a pause to consider how your words could be perceived, and to prevent yourself from making hasty comments. You may have an immediate gut reaction to something your boss or friend is saying, but take a moment to gather your thoughts before you come right out and say what you want to say. Ask yourself if it's the best time to present your ideas, if you should spend some time finding a better way to say what you want to say, and if people will be receptive to your comments right then.\\nThough speaking with your gut can lead to a lot of interesting ideas, it can also help to take a few minutes to formulate your thoughts first. If you instantly disagree with something your boss says, for example, you're better off thinking of concrete examples for why you disagree instead of just blurting out that you think it's a bad idea.\\nNotice the people around you. You may want to make a comment about how excited you are for your wedding, when one of the people there is going through a bitter divorce. Though you don't have to hide your enthusiasm forever, you may be better off finding a better time to make your comment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Deflect negative comments.\", \"描述\": \"If people are making negative comments around you, you should avoid getting wrapped up in them if you want to be tactful. This is especially true if you're in the workplace and don't want to be part of the office politics. There are several ways in which you can deflect negative comments and take the high road in testy situations. Here are some ways to do it:\\nGently correct gossip. Example: \\\"I'm sorry you heard that about Jane Doe. When I spoke to her, she said that it was just a rumor about her getting fired.\\\"\\nSay something non-committal. Example: \\\"I've never met John Doe, so I wouldn't have a clue about his drinking habits.\\\"\\nSay something positive. \\\"Mary Sue may be late a lot, but she does really good work.\\\" Or, \\\"Bill Jones has always been civil to me personally.\\\"\\nChange the subject. \\\"You know, your comment about the boss reminds me of something. There's an office party coming up, right? Are you bringing anyone?\\\"\\nRemove yourself from the situation. If people keep being negative and the situation isn't letting up, then you can excuse yourself and say you need to get back to class or work. You should make it seem unrelated to the conversation at hand.\\nAsk the person nicely to stop. Say \\\"I'm really not interested in gossiping about our neighbor,\\\" or \\\"I'd prefer not talk about that in the office.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start with a positive comment before giving negative feedback.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to give negative feedback to someone, whether it's a coworker or your best friend, you should couch it in a way that makes the person the most receptive. This doesn't mean you should lie to the person if things aren't going well, but that you should start off with something positive so the person sees that you care about him or her. Here are some ways to do it:\\nIf you want to give negative feedback to a friend, you can say something like, \\\"I think it's so sweet of you to always want to set me up with the single guys you know. But when you try to do it every time we go out, it kind of makes me feel pathetic.\\\"\\nIf you want to give negative feedback to a co-worker, you can say something like, \\\"I really appreciate how hard you've been working on the new project. However, I think the project can be even better if you let Mary help you out a bit more.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose your words carefully.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to being tactful, one of the most important things to keep in mind is that you should be aware of the words you use to express your ideas. You can still say what you want to say without offending people or coming off mean or like a know-it-all. When you're getting ready to state an opinion, ask yourself if the words you're using are biased, hurtful, patronizing, or just all wrong for the occasion. Then, find the words that will help further your ideas without offending anyone.\\nFor example, if you want to talk to a coworker about how she needs to get her work done faster, don't tell her she's \\\"slow\\\"; instead, ask her if she can think of ways to be \\\"more efficient.\\\"\\nFor example, if you're telling your boss you're leaving your job, you don't have to say something like, \\\"I am just way too smart for these people\\\"; instead, you can say something like, \\\"This company isn't the best fit for me.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Choose your timing carefully.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to being tactful, having great timing is half the battle. You may have something perfectly nice to say, which can ruin a social situation if you say it at the wrong time, and can lead to hurt feelings without you meaning to do any harm. Before you make a comment, ask yourself if this is the best time to make the comment, and if everyone there will be receptive to it. Ask yourself if it would be better to wait to get a more positive response, even if you're dying to say what you want to say.\\nFor example, if your friend Linda is excited to tell all of her friends about her recent engagement, then you may have to hold off the news that you're pregnant for another week, so Linda can enjoy the spotlight for a bit longer. You don't want her to feel like you trumped her big day.\\nFor example, if your boss is wrapping up a long presentation at the end of the work day, this may not be the best time to ask your question about an unrelated report. Asking the question now will only lead to confusion and your boss will be focused on the presentation and won't have the energy to address your concerns; if you wait until the next day, your boss will be happier to discuss the issue with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Decline invitations politely.\", \"描述\": \"If someone asks you to do something, you should find a way to politely decline it, even if your gut is screaming, \\\"Heck no!\\\" Whether you're being asked to attend the baby shower of a person you barely know or to stay late at work on a Friday night, instead of immediately saying no and looking angry or upset about it, you should take the time to say how much you would like to do it and then give a brief explanation or apology about not being able to do it. This will still get the same message across, but you won't offend anyone in the process.\\nFor example, if your boss asks you to take on another project and you just don't have any more time on your hands, you can say something like, \\\"Thank you so much for thinking of me for this opportunity. Unfortunately, I'm still wrapping up those two other projects you asked me about and I won't be able to take on the extra work. But I would love to help out on something similar in the future.\\\"\\nFor example, if your friend invites you to go hiking but hiking isn't really your thing, you can say something like, \\\"Your weekend trip to the Redwood forest sounds amazing, but I'm going to take it easy this weekend — I've had a crazy week at work and need to decompress. How about we catch up over drinks next Friday?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't reveal too much personal information to people you don't know very well.\", \"描述\": \"Another thing that people who lack tact tend to do is to go about announcing their business to every person on the street. If you want to have tact, then you can't go around telling anyone within earshot about your latest breakup, your new rash, or all of your personal problems. Telling people you don't know well all your business will only make them uncomfortable and won't lead to any new friendships; have tact and be aware of when people would like to hear more and when enough is enough.\\nThis also goes for revealing personal information about other people. If you're with a close friend and a few less-than-close friends, don't pick up on a private conversation you had with that friend in front of the other people; your friend might have been happy to talk about his complicated relationship with his mother with you, but he may not want the world to know about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Make sure your body language reflects your words.\", \"描述\": \"It's great if your words are sending a friendly and polite message, but if your body is telling people something different, then they'll quickly get a different picture. If you're telling someone something important in a delicate way, then you should make eye contact, face the person, and not hunch over or look at the floor. Give the person your attention and show that you actually care. It'll be hard for them to take you seriously if you're telling the person that he or she is doing great at work while you're looking in the other direction.\\nActions really can speak louder than words, so make sure that your body isn't sending a different message from your mouth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Considerate of Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider the other person's viewpoint and acknowledge it.\", \"描述\": \"Another part of having tact is being able to understand where another person is coming from. Though voicing your own ideas is important, it's also important to understand that another person may not see things the way you see them. If you let the person know that you understand where he or she is coming from, they'll be much more likely to listen to you and to take your ideas seriously.\\nFor example, saying something like, \\\"Mary, I understand that you've had a lot on your plate recently...\\\" can make it easier for you to ask Mary to help out with another project. If you just say, \\\"Hey, can you stay late to finish up a new report for me?\\\" then Mary is likely to think you're insensitive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider cultural differences and try to act in a sensitive way without being asked.\", \"描述\": \"There are many cultural differences that should be acknowledged in our world, which are based on where people are from, how they were raised, what their race and backgrounds may be, or even what generation they are coming from. What may be perfectly acceptable in one culture can be considered rude in another, so ask yourself if you're being sensitive to the different cultures around you before you make a comment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be discreet.\", \"描述\": \"You may find that you need to correct something a co-worker said during a presentation, or that one of your friends has a giant chunk of spinach in his teeth. Instead of pointing this out in front of everyone, you should try to pull the person aside to let them know about the situation. Showing discretion is a big part of having tact, because it will help you know what should be said under what circumstances. It's an important skill you should have in the professional and the social world.\\nFor example, if you and your partner got a raise but no one else in the company did, it's best not to brag about it in front of everyone. You can have a private celebration later.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be gracious even when you're irritated.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your cool and speak kindly and sincerely. Assume the best. Though you may be dying to tell your friend what you really think of her behavior, or you really want to yell at your co-worker for ruining a project, you should hold your tongue and be as kind as possible until you find a time to state your true feelings. There's no point in saying something you'll regret just because you're irked in the moment.\\nFor example, if someone gives you an ugly sweater, say: \\\"Thanks so much for the present. I'm touched you thought of me.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have empathy for others.\", \"描述\": \"Look around you before you make a comment and see how the other people there will receive it. It's important to know where people are coming from before you blurt out your political, religious, or other personal opinions. Though you can't completely know where every person is coming from when you speak, it's important to have a sense of the mindset and experiences of the people around you so you can avoid offending people.\\nFor example, if you just got a raise and Bob got fired, this may not be the time to brag about it.\\nIf one of the people around you is a devout Christian, then it's not the time to talk about how you think religion is pointless.\\nIf someone around you is exhausted after a long day, don't expect the person to help you resolve a huge emotional conflict. Have patience.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be an active listener.\", \"描述\": \"Being an active listener is a crucial component of being tactful. There's a difference between what someone is saying to you and what that person is really thinking, so you should really look and hear the person out to get the real message. If your friend is telling you that she's over her break up and totally ready to go to a party with you, but her eyes and gestures are telling you otherwise, then find a way to kindly tell her that it's okay if she's not ready to go out.\\nPaying attention to how people are really feeling as they're speaking can help you respond to them in the most tactful way possible. For example, if your co-worker is really struggling with a project but is afraid to ask for help, listen for cues, such as nervousness, stuttering, or repetitive speech to see if he or she is trying to reach out to you.\\nActively listening can also help you see if a person has shut down and doesn't want to hear any more about a subject. If you're giving feedback to a coworker who is already upset by it, you can tell by his or her words that he may not be ready to hear more; you should gracefully end the conversation and pick it up later.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Being respectful goes hand in hand with being tactful. If you want to have true tact, then you have to treat other people with respect. This means letting them finish talking instead of interrupting them, giving them your full attention when they are trying to tell you something, and asking people how they are doing before jumping in to deliver some bad news. Treat each and every individual with care and kindness and understand that it's important to make people feel that they are treated fairly, even if they may not be your favorite people on the planet.\\nBeing respectful is a matter of common decency. Don't curse in front of your elders; don't use lewd language in front of people you don't know well. This will come off as very tasteless, and therefore lacking tact.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,214 | How to Be Taken Seriously | 1. Being Assertive
1-1. Look people in the eye while talking to them.
This shows them that you're serious about what you're talking about and that you are engaged in the conversation. Not only will it let them know that you are focused on them, but it will allow you to connect with them. By looking at their eyes, you can read their facial expressions and see how they are reacting to what you are saying, and you can adjust the conversation as necessary.
1-2. Speak clearly.
Say what you need to say with a steady voice. Don't mumble or speak too quickly or slowly. Don’t look to others for approval; simply express your beliefs and ideas from the heart.
Try the "slow talk" technique. Slow down your speech by adding an extra second to your words. Articulate your words, pronouncing each syllable.
1-3. Use proper body language.
When speaking to others, hold your head high and keep your legs and arms uncrossed. This body language commands respect and shows that you are open and confident.
1-4. Speak only when you have something valuable to say.
Avoid adding random jokes or unrelated bits of information to conversations. Should you have a good idea or thought, express it. Adding unnecessary or repetitive information will make folks less likely to listen to you.
For instance, if a group is discussing global warming and you have recently watched a documentary about it, chime in with what you know. However, if you don’t know about the topic, stay silent and listen instead.
1-5. Stay calm.
If you're arguing with someone, stay calm and speak in an even tone. Don't get all worked up because this will make you look like you can't think clearly. Take deep breaths in and out to steady yourself. If you feel that you are going to cry or yell, walk away for a moment to take a bathroom break.
1-6. Take responsibility.
Actions speak louder than words, so you may have lost credibility with others because your actions have not been consistent. Accept responsibility for your behavior instead of blaming others, and seek more responsibility to demonstrate how serious you are. Take on more work without expectation of reward. This will show others that you are becoming more mature.
Take action to show that you're serious. For example, if others don't see you as financially responsible, then create an excel spreadsheet and start keeping track of your finances.
At work, ask your boss if you can help out with their new project and come to them with research or ideas on how to improve it. Try to find ways to do things better, more efficiently, or find problems that no one else has noticed.
At home, take on more chores to help your family.
2. Commanding Respect
2-1. Arrive early.
Show that you mean business by arriving five to ten minutes early for any meeting or appointment you might have. This shows that you respect your time and the time of others.
This applies to professional settings. It is typically okay to be a few minutes late to parties and other social events.
2-2. Read the news.
Stay up on the current events in your city, state, country and the world. Don’t just know about the latest pop culture, know about the politics that are affecting you. This will give you serious topics to discuss with others.
Download news apps to your phone and take fifteen minutes daily to read articles every morning. You can even sign up for news alerts.
2-3. Prepare for your assignments or projects.
Should you be assigned a task at work or school, work diligently on it. Do your research so you can do it to the best of you ability. If there is a presentation portion, practice beforehand until you have mastered it. This will show that you take your work seriously.
For instance, if you have a presentation coming up, prepare a powerpoint. Use a simplistic format and include visuals or charts. Check for typos and practice presenting in the mirror.
2-4. Dress for success.
Take care of your appearance by showering and keeping your hair and clothes presentable. This will keep you looking sharp, neat and clean. You don't have to look ready for a board meeting (unless you're actually going to a board meeting), but you should always look nice.
Iron your clothes the night before so you don’t have to rush in the mornings.
Use your clothes to tell people what you want them to think about you.
2-5. Set up a good reputation.
If you want to be taken seriously, don't do things that make people think less of you. Avoid public intoxication, drugs, crime, and other poor decisions. Instead, involve yourself in positive activities like volunteering.
Be mindful of what you post on social media, too. Avoid posts that glorify drugs, violence or other negative behaviors.
2-6. Follow through on your promises.
If you tell someone that you will do something, you should follow through on that. If they see you as someone that just makes empty promises, they will be very unlikely to take you seriously.
Perhaps you promised a coworker that you would pick them up the following morning for work. Be sure to set a reminder on your phone and wake up early so you can keep the promise.
2-7. Tell the truth.
If you are lying often, you can’t really expect people to believe you. They aren't going to trust you to tell them the right information. Always be truthful with others, even when it’s difficult. They will begin to take you seriously if they know you will be honest with them. People value honesty and genuineness in others.
For example, if you don't know something, say, "I'm not familiar with that, but I'll look it up."
2-8. Speak up when you disagree.
If someone is being rude to others or suggest something that is wrong, speak up for what you believe. Do so in a respectful and kind manner. This will show to others that you have integrity and that you’re willing to fight for what’s right.
For instance, your boss might suggest paying the new female coworker less than the male staff because of her gender. Let him know that this is not okay and that she deserves equal pay to do equal work.
3. Avoiding Bad Behaviors
3-1. Avoid speaking negatively about others.
Even when your friends or coworkers are gossiping about others, avoid doing so. Change the subject or walk away. This will show that you take your morals seriously.
If your coworkers start bashing your boss, say “Hey, did y’all see last night’s episode of Game of Thrones? It was awesome.”
3-2. Keep your private life personal.
At work especially, avoid sharing intimate details about your personal life. Avoid talk about sex, in particular. Share that you have a partner, but avoid discussing the fights between you two. Focus instead on discussing work or more lighthearted topics like TV shows or music.
3-3. Don't try to make a joke out of everything.
When it's appropriate, go ahead and have a little fun. But if you are always joking around about everything, how do you expect to be taken seriously? Know when the situation is right for a joke, but stay serious most of the time in professional settings.
While you can use jokes as a self-defense mechanism, doing it too often can make you appear fake.
3-4. Avoid hyperbole.
Hyperbole is when you exaggerate for dramatic effect. An example would be describing something as "enormous", when it was really just large. If you use hyperbole too often, people will start to think that you're exaggerating all the time and they won't take your words at face value.
Try to be as honest as possible. For instance, if you got minimal sleep the night before, say that you didn’t get much sleep instead of saying that you didn’t sleep at all.
3-5. Avoid getting off task while at work.
When at work, avoid texting or using your phone for personal calls. People will begin to think that you don’t do any work. Instead, focus on the task at hand and take mini breaks as necessary.
3-6. Primp in the restroom only.
Sometimes the folks taken the least seriously are those who seem a little too invested in their physical appearance. Avoid applying makeup or fixing your hair in public; try to do so in the restroom instead. Avoid looking into every mirror you pass or taking selfies often.
Tips
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Put yourself in someone else's shoes and think about how you would view yourself.
Think about your decisions before you make them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Assertive\\n1-1. Look people in the eye while talking to them.\\nThis shows them that you're serious about what you're talking about and that you are engaged in the conversation. Not only will it let them know that you are focused on them, but it will allow you to connect with them. By looking at their eyes, you can read their facial expressions and see how they are reacting to what you are saying, and you can adjust the conversation as necessary.\\n1-2. Speak clearly.\\nSay what you need to say with a steady voice. Don't mumble or speak too quickly or slowly. Don’t look to others for approval; simply express your beliefs and ideas from the heart.\\nTry the \\\"slow talk\\\" technique. Slow down your speech by adding an extra second to your words. Articulate your words, pronouncing each syllable.\\n1-3. Use proper body language.\\nWhen speaking to others, hold your head high and keep your legs and arms uncrossed. This body language commands respect and shows that you are open and confident.\\n1-4. Speak only when you have something valuable to say.\\nAvoid adding random jokes or unrelated bits of information to conversations. Should you have a good idea or thought, express it. Adding unnecessary or repetitive information will make folks less likely to listen to you.\\nFor instance, if a group is discussing global warming and you have recently watched a documentary about it, chime in with what you know. However, if you don’t know about the topic, stay silent and listen instead.\\n1-5. Stay calm.\\nIf you're arguing with someone, stay calm and speak in an even tone. Don't get all worked up because this will make you look like you can't think clearly. Take deep breaths in and out to steady yourself. If you feel that you are going to cry or yell, walk away for a moment to take a bathroom break.\\n1-6. Take responsibility.\\nActions speak louder than words, so you may have lost credibility with others because your actions have not been consistent. Accept responsibility for your behavior instead of blaming others, and seek more responsibility to demonstrate how serious you are. Take on more work without expectation of reward. This will show others that you are becoming more mature.\\nTake action to show that you're serious. For example, if others don't see you as financially responsible, then create an excel spreadsheet and start keeping track of your finances.\\nAt work, ask your boss if you can help out with their new project and come to them with research or ideas on how to improve it. Try to find ways to do things better, more efficiently, or find problems that no one else has noticed.\\nAt home, take on more chores to help your family.\\n2. Commanding Respect\\n2-1. Arrive early.\\nShow that you mean business by arriving five to ten minutes early for any meeting or appointment you might have. This shows that you respect your time and the time of others.\\nThis applies to professional settings. It is typically okay to be a few minutes late to parties and other social events.\\n2-2. Read the news.\\nStay up on the current events in your city, state, country and the world. Don’t just know about the latest pop culture, know about the politics that are affecting you. This will give you serious topics to discuss with others.\\nDownload news apps to your phone and take fifteen minutes daily to read articles every morning. You can even sign up for news alerts.\\n2-3. Prepare for your assignments or projects.\\nShould you be assigned a task at work or school, work diligently on it. Do your research so you can do it to the best of you ability. If there is a presentation portion, practice beforehand until you have mastered it. This will show that you take your work seriously.\\nFor instance, if you have a presentation coming up, prepare a powerpoint. Use a simplistic format and include visuals or charts. Check for typos and practice presenting in the mirror.\\n2-4. Dress for success.\\nTake care of your appearance by showering and keeping your hair and clothes presentable. This will keep you looking sharp, neat and clean. You don't have to look ready for a board meeting (unless you're actually going to a board meeting), but you should always look nice.\\nIron your clothes the night before so you don’t have to rush in the mornings.\\nUse your clothes to tell people what you want them to think about you.\\n2-5. Set up a good reputation.\\nIf you want to be taken seriously, don't do things that make people think less of you. Avoid public intoxication, drugs, crime, and other poor decisions. Instead, involve yourself in positive activities like volunteering.\\nBe mindful of what you post on social media, too. Avoid posts that glorify drugs, violence or other negative behaviors.\\n2-6. Follow through on your promises.\\nIf you tell someone that you will do something, you should follow through on that. If they see you as someone that just makes empty promises, they will be very unlikely to take you seriously.\\nPerhaps you promised a coworker that you would pick them up the following morning for work. Be sure to set a reminder on your phone and wake up early so you can keep the promise.\\n2-7. Tell the truth.\\nIf you are lying often, you can’t really expect people to believe you. They aren't going to trust you to tell them the right information. Always be truthful with others, even when it’s difficult. They will begin to take you seriously if they know you will be honest with them. People value honesty and genuineness in others.\\nFor example, if you don't know something, say, \\\"I'm not familiar with that, but I'll look it up.\\\"\\n2-8. Speak up when you disagree.\\nIf someone is being rude to others or suggest something that is wrong, speak up for what you believe. Do so in a respectful and kind manner. This will show to others that you have integrity and that you’re willing to fight for what’s right.\\nFor instance, your boss might suggest paying the new female coworker less than the male staff because of her gender. Let him know that this is not okay and that she deserves equal pay to do equal work.\\n3. Avoiding Bad Behaviors\\n3-1. Avoid speaking negatively about others.\\nEven when your friends or coworkers are gossiping about others, avoid doing so. Change the subject or walk away. This will show that you take your morals seriously.\\nIf your coworkers start bashing your boss, say “Hey, did y’all see last night’s episode of Game of Thrones? It was awesome.”\\n3-2. Keep your private life personal.\\nAt work especially, avoid sharing intimate details about your personal life. Avoid talk about sex, in particular. Share that you have a partner, but avoid discussing the fights between you two. Focus instead on discussing work or more lighthearted topics like TV shows or music.\\n3-3. Don't try to make a joke out of everything.\\nWhen it's appropriate, go ahead and have a little fun. But if you are always joking around about everything, how do you expect to be taken seriously? Know when the situation is right for a joke, but stay serious most of the time in professional settings.\\nWhile you can use jokes as a self-defense mechanism, doing it too often can make you appear fake.\\n3-4. Avoid hyperbole.\\nHyperbole is when you exaggerate for dramatic effect. An example would be describing something as \\\"enormous\\\", when it was really just large. If you use hyperbole too often, people will start to think that you're exaggerating all the time and they won't take your words at face value.\\nTry to be as honest as possible. For instance, if you got minimal sleep the night before, say that you didn’t get much sleep instead of saying that you didn’t sleep at all.\\n3-5. Avoid getting off task while at work.\\nWhen at work, avoid texting or using your phone for personal calls. People will begin to think that you don’t do any work. Instead, focus on the task at hand and take mini breaks as necessary.\\n3-6. Primp in the restroom only.\\nSometimes the folks taken the least seriously are those who seem a little too invested in their physical appearance. Avoid applying makeup or fixing your hair in public; try to do so in the restroom instead. Avoid looking into every mirror you pass or taking selfies often.\\nTips\\nSay what you mean and mean what you say.\\nPut yourself in someone else's shoes and think about how you would view yourself.\\nThink about your decisions before you make them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are people blowing off what you are saying and not really taking you seriously? Maybe you joke around a bit too much or made a mistake that others won’t let you live down. No matter the reason, you need others’ respect to be successful. Learn to be taken seriously by being assertive, commanding respect, and avoiding the mistakes you made in the past.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Assertive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look people in the eye while talking to them.\", \"描述\": \"This shows them that you're serious about what you're talking about and that you are engaged in the conversation. Not only will it let them know that you are focused on them, but it will allow you to connect with them. By looking at their eyes, you can read their facial expressions and see how they are reacting to what you are saying, and you can adjust the conversation as necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly.\", \"描述\": \"Say what you need to say with a steady voice. Don't mumble or speak too quickly or slowly. Don’t look to others for approval; simply express your beliefs and ideas from the heart.\\nTry the \\\"slow talk\\\" technique. Slow down your speech by adding an extra second to your words. Articulate your words, pronouncing each syllable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use proper body language.\", \"描述\": \"When speaking to others, hold your head high and keep your legs and arms uncrossed. This body language commands respect and shows that you are open and confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Speak only when you have something valuable to say.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid adding random jokes or unrelated bits of information to conversations. Should you have a good idea or thought, express it. Adding unnecessary or repetitive information will make folks less likely to listen to you.\\nFor instance, if a group is discussing global warming and you have recently watched a documentary about it, chime in with what you know. However, if you don’t know about the topic, stay silent and listen instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"If you're arguing with someone, stay calm and speak in an even tone. Don't get all worked up because this will make you look like you can't think clearly. Take deep breaths in and out to steady yourself. If you feel that you are going to cry or yell, walk away for a moment to take a bathroom break.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Actions speak louder than words, so you may have lost credibility with others because your actions have not been consistent. Accept responsibility for your behavior instead of blaming others, and seek more responsibility to demonstrate how serious you are. Take on more work without expectation of reward. This will show others that you are becoming more mature.\\nTake action to show that you're serious. For example, if others don't see you as financially responsible, then create an excel spreadsheet and start keeping track of your finances.\\nAt work, ask your boss if you can help out with their new project and come to them with research or ideas on how to improve it. Try to find ways to do things better, more efficiently, or find problems that no one else has noticed.\\nAt home, take on more chores to help your family.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Commanding Respect\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arrive early.\", \"描述\": \"Show that you mean business by arriving five to ten minutes early for any meeting or appointment you might have. This shows that you respect your time and the time of others.\\nThis applies to professional settings. It is typically okay to be a few minutes late to parties and other social events.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read the news.\", \"描述\": \"Stay up on the current events in your city, state, country and the world. Don’t just know about the latest pop culture, know about the politics that are affecting you. This will give you serious topics to discuss with others.\\nDownload news apps to your phone and take fifteen minutes daily to read articles every morning. You can even sign up for news alerts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prepare for your assignments or projects.\", \"描述\": \"Should you be assigned a task at work or school, work diligently on it. Do your research so you can do it to the best of you ability. If there is a presentation portion, practice beforehand until you have mastered it. This will show that you take your work seriously.\\nFor instance, if you have a presentation coming up, prepare a powerpoint. Use a simplistic format and include visuals or charts. Check for typos and practice presenting in the mirror.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress for success.\", \"描述\": \"Take care of your appearance by showering and keeping your hair and clothes presentable. This will keep you looking sharp, neat and clean. You don't have to look ready for a board meeting (unless you're actually going to a board meeting), but you should always look nice.\\nIron your clothes the night before so you don’t have to rush in the mornings.\\nUse your clothes to tell people what you want them to think about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set up a good reputation.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be taken seriously, don't do things that make people think less of you. Avoid public intoxication, drugs, crime, and other poor decisions. Instead, involve yourself in positive activities like volunteering.\\nBe mindful of what you post on social media, too. Avoid posts that glorify drugs, violence or other negative behaviors.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Follow through on your promises.\", \"描述\": \"If you tell someone that you will do something, you should follow through on that. If they see you as someone that just makes empty promises, they will be very unlikely to take you seriously.\\nPerhaps you promised a coworker that you would pick them up the following morning for work. Be sure to set a reminder on your phone and wake up early so you can keep the promise.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tell the truth.\", \"描述\": \"If you are lying often, you can’t really expect people to believe you. They aren't going to trust you to tell them the right information. Always be truthful with others, even when it’s difficult. They will begin to take you seriously if they know you will be honest with them. People value honesty and genuineness in others.\\nFor example, if you don't know something, say, \\\"I'm not familiar with that, but I'll look it up.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Speak up when you disagree.\", \"描述\": \"If someone is being rude to others or suggest something that is wrong, speak up for what you believe. Do so in a respectful and kind manner. This will show to others that you have integrity and that you’re willing to fight for what’s right.\\nFor instance, your boss might suggest paying the new female coworker less than the male staff because of her gender. Let him know that this is not okay and that she deserves equal pay to do equal work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Bad Behaviors\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid speaking negatively about others.\", \"描述\": \"Even when your friends or coworkers are gossiping about others, avoid doing so. Change the subject or walk away. This will show that you take your morals seriously.\\nIf your coworkers start bashing your boss, say “Hey, did y’all see last night’s episode of Game of Thrones? It was awesome.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your private life personal.\", \"描述\": \"At work especially, avoid sharing intimate details about your personal life. Avoid talk about sex, in particular. Share that you have a partner, but avoid discussing the fights between you two. Focus instead on discussing work or more lighthearted topics like TV shows or music.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't try to make a joke out of everything.\", \"描述\": \"When it's appropriate, go ahead and have a little fun. But if you are always joking around about everything, how do you expect to be taken seriously? Know when the situation is right for a joke, but stay serious most of the time in professional settings.\\nWhile you can use jokes as a self-defense mechanism, doing it too often can make you appear fake.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid hyperbole.\", \"描述\": \"Hyperbole is when you exaggerate for dramatic effect. An example would be describing something as \\\"enormous\\\", when it was really just large. If you use hyperbole too often, people will start to think that you're exaggerating all the time and they won't take your words at face value.\\nTry to be as honest as possible. For instance, if you got minimal sleep the night before, say that you didn’t get much sleep instead of saying that you didn’t sleep at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid getting off task while at work.\", \"描述\": \"When at work, avoid texting or using your phone for personal calls. People will begin to think that you don’t do any work. Instead, focus on the task at hand and take mini breaks as necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Primp in the restroom only.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the folks taken the least seriously are those who seem a little too invested in their physical appearance. Avoid applying makeup or fixing your hair in public; try to do so in the restroom instead. Avoid looking into every mirror you pass or taking selfies often.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Say what you mean and mean what you say.\\n\", \"Put yourself in someone else's shoes and think about how you would view yourself.\\n\", \"Think about your decisions before you make them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
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