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I heard the catchiest joke yesterday... women's softball.
true
Don't shame me for wanting to get married young
false
Thousands are flocking to washington this weekend to demand climate action
false
Happy birthday bob marley. shirts with your face on it are now sold at walmart.
true
Every ten seconds, someone in london gets stabbed poor bastard.
true
Blood on their hands: gop 'health care' bill will cause suffering and death
false
Rewriting my history as a rwandan genocide survivor
false
I was going to tell an anal joke butt fuck it.
true
Day 1: the rheingau and my love of spätburgunder
false
The hipster's summer guide: bowie's glamorama at the v&a and where to talk it through
false
What's the difference between america and yoghurt? yoghurt has culture
true
What did one bird say to the other bird? toucan play at this game.
true
I've got a surprise for you! says the excited girl friend. abort it he reply's.
true
Guess who's still together after all these years and all the shit between them! your butt cheeks.
true
Indiana officer fatally shot by man in overturned car he was trying to save
false
Three men walked into a bar. don't you think the third one would have ducked?
true
What do you call a half jew? jew-ish.
true
Whats the difference between love, ture love, and showing off? spit, sallow, and gargle.
true
Why wait until something breaks? let's try predictive maintenance
false
If morning had a face i would totally be punching that shit right about now.
true
Good friends are like balloons.... ....if you stab them they die
true
Christopher walken's floating heads currently haunting a queens park
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How to leave someone on the edge of their seat:
true
Insect bite ointments don't work that well, study says
false
I have a fetish for paradoxes. they really turn me off.
true
What did the right pussy lip tell the left pussy lip? we used to be tight
true
Here's what happened when i agreed to try 'smell dating'
false
Why more school districts are holding class just four days a week
false
David ortiz test-drives a beef jerky delivery drone (and we're very jealous)
false
Emma stone's polished, preppy look for letterman (photo)
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Girl slammed in face by soccer pro's missed shot
false
In-flight wi-fi is about to get much better
false
I was sitting at my desk, trying to think of a double entendre... ...but it got really hard.
true
Wanna hear a joke? my mute friend told me this one.
true
'spectre' shoots to top of the box office with $73 million
false
Jon stewart does the math for aig, comes up with 'go f**k yourself'
false
Congressman says he mocked democratic national committee hacking as a 'harmless joke'
false
Why los angeles sends failing students on to the next grade
false
10 ways to get your kids off junk food and demanding vegetables
false
What is hitler's favorite thing to eat? not seafood.
true
Rex tillerson says oil companies don't take handouts. exxon mobil gets $1 billion a year.
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Whose parish is it anyway? churches face delicate balance in meeting needs of ethnic ministries
false
I asked a guy if he knew what the chemical formula was for sodium bromate... he said nabro3
true
I brew! weddings bring out the beer-zillas in these grooms
false
New zealand is hosting a country-wide secret santa gift exchange
false
Did you know love doesn't matter? it doesn't have mass and doesn't occupy space.
true
What goes red and white, red and white, red and white? santa claus rolling down a hill.
true
It's expensive to attend amputation university... tuition's an arm and a leg!
true
While teaching a cpr course, chuck norris actually brought the practice dummy to life
true
Co-parenting advice: why you need to 'grieve' your failed marriage (video)
false
Bernie sanders' campaign reaches voter data deal with democratic national committee
false
I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts.... she gave me change!
true
Same-sex marriage support from obama hailed by financial planners, who caution long road ahead
false
Trump pulled the u.s. out of the paris deal. now greens want the gop to pay.
false
Q: what is a pig's favorite superhero? a: the oinkredible hulk.
true
Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.
true
A simple online tool that helps builds homes and futures
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Horrified over charlottesville? start planning now for 2018 midterms
false
What's gordon ramsey's favorite film? it's fucking frozen!!
true
How was copper wire invented? two jews were fighting over a penny
true
Two most important rules of programming 1. avoid repetitions 2. avoid repetitions
true
National hispanic heritage month 2012: we pay tribute to frida kahlo's iconic style (photos)
false
Lily mcmenamy, model, goes topless at marc jacobs fashion week show (photos)
false
When working with a creditor, get all the facts
false
Why doesn't mr t like cream and mashed fruit? he pities the fool.
true
Where is the world's first mainstream transgender superhero?
false
Northeast states talk big on climate. this is their first serious test.
false
Zimbabwe parliament begins impeachment process against president robert mugabe
false
How women are changing the world, shown in gorgeous illustrations
false
Did you hear about the steak that had too much sodium put on it? it was assalted
true
The selfie girls everyone mocked use their fame for good
false
What did one amputee say to the other? i'm as stumped as you are!
true
Nancy pelosi demands the suspension of mike flynn over russia ties
false
You shouldn't make fun of people who use viagra. it's hard enough for them already.
true
If hitler were a black supremacist english teacher what would the holocaust be called? white-out.
true
I require latvian jokes please, they're so funny.
true
Yeah, hillary has pneumonia, but trump is still a deranged threat to america
false
Full disclosure: all my tweets with less than 3 favs were made by my intern.
true
Mindfulness, cbt could ease sleep woes for cancer patients
false
What do you call an ant who skips school ? a truant !
true
How does every racist joke start? with a look over your shoulder
true
What is the most positive thing in a ghetto? hiv
true
Why america's largest group of medical doctors are supporting gay marriage
false
So apparently not every chubby guy with a mustache is named mario. my bad, dad.
true
This gop senator is open to supporting hillary clinton
false
Remove ink stains with hand sanitizer to avoid an embarrassing situation
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I'm more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
true
Amy schumer shows world just how hard it is to get out of a pool float
false
Obama foreign policy in 'free fall,' republican says
false
From 'katrina kid' to nebraska quarterback: tommy armstrong beats the odds
false
I asked my north korean friend how it was there.. .. he said he couldn't complain.
true
What do you call a black and white bra? zebra
true
What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? single.
true
Rand paul plans to keep pushing to defund planned parenthood
false
My physics teacher is the chord slope of an a-t curve the average jerk
true
Nearly 60% of countries at risk of using slaves in supply chains: report
false
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
true
Why did the arsonist get kicked off the basketball team? he kept getting pyro-technicalities.
true
Apple fires back at fbi in new york iphone feud
false
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh: a bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
true