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| humor
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I heard the catchiest joke yesterday... women's softball. | true |
Don't shame me for wanting to get married young | false |
Thousands are flocking to washington this weekend to demand climate action | false |
Happy birthday bob marley. shirts with your face on it are now sold at walmart. | true |
Every ten seconds, someone in london gets stabbed poor bastard. | true |
Blood on their hands: gop 'health care' bill will cause suffering and death | false |
Rewriting my history as a rwandan genocide survivor | false |
I was going to tell an anal joke butt fuck it. | true |
Day 1: the rheingau and my love of spätburgunder | false |
The hipster's summer guide: bowie's glamorama at the v&a and where to talk it through | false |
What's the difference between america and yoghurt? yoghurt has culture | true |
What did one bird say to the other bird? toucan play at this game. | true |
I've got a surprise for you! says the excited girl friend. abort it he reply's. | true |
Guess who's still together after all these years and all the shit between them! your butt cheeks. | true |
Indiana officer fatally shot by man in overturned car he was trying to save | false |
Three men walked into a bar. don't you think the third one would have ducked? | true |
What do you call a half jew? jew-ish. | true |
Whats the difference between love, ture love, and showing off? spit, sallow, and gargle. | true |
Why wait until something breaks? let's try predictive maintenance | false |
If morning had a face i would totally be punching that shit right about now. | true |
Good friends are like balloons.... ....if you stab them they die | true |
Christopher walken's floating heads currently haunting a queens park | false |
How to leave someone on the edge of their seat: | true |
Insect bite ointments don't work that well, study says | false |
I have a fetish for paradoxes. they really turn me off. | true |
What did the right pussy lip tell the left pussy lip? we used to be tight | true |
Here's what happened when i agreed to try 'smell dating' | false |
Why more school districts are holding class just four days a week | false |
David ortiz test-drives a beef jerky delivery drone (and we're very jealous) | false |
Emma stone's polished, preppy look for letterman (photo) | false |
Girl slammed in face by soccer pro's missed shot | false |
In-flight wi-fi is about to get much better | false |
I was sitting at my desk, trying to think of a double entendre... ...but it got really hard. | true |
Wanna hear a joke? my mute friend told me this one. | true |
'spectre' shoots to top of the box office with $73 million | false |
Jon stewart does the math for aig, comes up with 'go f**k yourself' | false |
Congressman says he mocked democratic national committee hacking as a 'harmless joke' | false |
Why los angeles sends failing students on to the next grade | false |
10 ways to get your kids off junk food and demanding vegetables | false |
What is hitler's favorite thing to eat? not seafood. | true |
Rex tillerson says oil companies don't take handouts. exxon mobil gets $1 billion a year. | false |
Whose parish is it anyway? churches face delicate balance in meeting needs of ethnic ministries | false |
I asked a guy if he knew what the chemical formula was for sodium bromate... he said nabro3 | true |
I brew! weddings bring out the beer-zillas in these grooms | false |
New zealand is hosting a country-wide secret santa gift exchange | false |
Did you know love doesn't matter? it doesn't have mass and doesn't occupy space. | true |
What goes red and white, red and white, red and white? santa claus rolling down a hill. | true |
It's expensive to attend amputation university... tuition's an arm and a leg! | true |
While teaching a cpr course, chuck norris actually brought the practice dummy to life | true |
Co-parenting advice: why you need to 'grieve' your failed marriage (video) | false |
Bernie sanders' campaign reaches voter data deal with democratic national committee | false |
I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts.... she gave me change! | true |
Same-sex marriage support from obama hailed by financial planners, who caution long road ahead | false |
Trump pulled the u.s. out of the paris deal. now greens want the gop to pay. | false |
Q: what is a pig's favorite superhero? a: the oinkredible hulk. | true |
Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall. | true |
A simple online tool that helps builds homes and futures | false |
Horrified over charlottesville? start planning now for 2018 midterms | false |
What's gordon ramsey's favorite film? it's fucking frozen!! | true |
How was copper wire invented? two jews were fighting over a penny | true |
Two most important rules of programming 1. avoid repetitions 2. avoid repetitions | true |
National hispanic heritage month 2012: we pay tribute to frida kahlo's iconic style (photos) | false |
Lily mcmenamy, model, goes topless at marc jacobs fashion week show (photos) | false |
When working with a creditor, get all the facts | false |
Why doesn't mr t like cream and mashed fruit? he pities the fool. | true |
Where is the world's first mainstream transgender superhero? | false |
Northeast states talk big on climate. this is their first serious test. | false |
Zimbabwe parliament begins impeachment process against president robert mugabe | false |
How women are changing the world, shown in gorgeous illustrations | false |
Did you hear about the steak that had too much sodium put on it? it was assalted | true |
The selfie girls everyone mocked use their fame for good | false |
What did one amputee say to the other? i'm as stumped as you are! | true |
Nancy pelosi demands the suspension of mike flynn over russia ties | false |
You shouldn't make fun of people who use viagra. it's hard enough for them already. | true |
If hitler were a black supremacist english teacher what would the holocaust be called? white-out. | true |
I require latvian jokes please, they're so funny. | true |
Yeah, hillary has pneumonia, but trump is still a deranged threat to america | false |
Full disclosure: all my tweets with less than 3 favs were made by my intern. | true |
Mindfulness, cbt could ease sleep woes for cancer patients | false |
What do you call an ant who skips school ? a truant ! | true |
How does every racist joke start? with a look over your shoulder | true |
What is the most positive thing in a ghetto? hiv | true |
Why america's largest group of medical doctors are supporting gay marriage | false |
So apparently not every chubby guy with a mustache is named mario. my bad, dad. | true |
This gop senator is open to supporting hillary clinton | false |
Remove ink stains with hand sanitizer to avoid an embarrassing situation | false |
I'm more confused than a homeless person on house arrest. | true |
Amy schumer shows world just how hard it is to get out of a pool float | false |
Obama foreign policy in 'free fall,' republican says | false |
From 'katrina kid' to nebraska quarterback: tommy armstrong beats the odds | false |
I asked my north korean friend how it was there.. .. he said he couldn't complain. | true |
What do you call a black and white bra? zebra | true |
What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? single. | true |
Rand paul plans to keep pushing to defund planned parenthood | false |
My physics teacher is the chord slope of an a-t curve the average jerk | true |
Nearly 60% of countries at risk of using slaves in supply chains: report | false |
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. | true |
Why did the arsonist get kicked off the basketball team? he kept getting pyro-technicalities. | true |
Apple fires back at fbi in new york iphone feud | false |
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh: a bus full of niggers going over a cliff. | true |
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