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What do you call a prematurely born chinese baby? sudden lee
true
Fox's new york affiliate wants to focus on more positive news stories
false
Doctor doctor i feel like a pack of cards. i'll deal with you later.
true
Supreme court justice sonia sotomayor visits 'sesame street' to talk about careers (video)
false
Slight variation on an arguable classic: how do mermaids reproduce? binary fish-ion.
true
Bride busted for dui on the way to her wedding
false
Happy birthday, jack! words of wisdom from america's greatest homegrown actor
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I started seeing a therapist about my fear of bridges. turns out i have severe truss issues.
true
I know someone that was frozen to absolute zero once. he was 0k.
true
Trump expected to rescind daca, senior official says
false
Whistleblower statutory protections are frequently narrowly interpreted by courts
false
What did one candle say to the other will you go out with me tonight?
true
Yet another health care repeal vote to open congressional year
false
I drafted 1984 madonna and a meatball sub for my fantasy football team. hey, it's my fantasy.
true
How two women fell in love and created safer spaces for lgbt youth
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I was diagnosed with adhd last week. but my doctor sa
true
Call me marquis de sade cause i'm a smooth operator
true
Brad pitt might be better looking than me, but i am considerably fatter.
true
Where did sally go when the bomb went off? everywhere.
true
What did the communist say at the beginning of the race? on your marx, get set, go!
true
You can now preview trent reznor's eerie 'gone girl' soundtrack
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How many mexicans do you need to change a lightbulb? juan.
true
This news anchor just broke a major barrier for afro-latina journalists
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What to wear to work: 6 ways to update your working wardrobe (photos)
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I'm all in for hillary clinton, my next president
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After dark: meet amanda lepore, fashion icon and nightlife legend
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What did god say when he made the first black person? damn, i burnt one...
true
Sale of blue nation review gives hillary clinton camp its very own media outlet
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What do you call a bored motherfucker? grandpa
true
The best part of doma's repeal: its impact on immigration reform
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My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. i just know it.
true
Casual dresses that take up zero space in your suitcase (photos)
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What's the cheapest concert you can go to? 50 cent feat. nickelback.
true
How is a bill cosby better than ronda rousey? he's never met a woman he hasn't knocked out.
true
What we know so far about the new white house org chart
false
Your head is sooooo bald i mistook you for a green rabbit.
true
This reuben sandwich is also a pie, and it's the best food mashup
false
In the balance: the public and the federal budget deficit
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'the onion' year in review 2012: the year's biggest fake stories (video)
false
Why don't north koreans like jazz music? because they don't have seoul.
true
Tokyo travel: one week in toyko, by lukas backland (video)
false
14 of the most striking crater lakes on earth
false
What has four legs and two assholes? a police horse.
true
'scandal' cast takes selfies, makes us love them even more
false
Women in the u.s. don’t live in a dystopian hellscape. yet.
false
What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when eminem came in? *shady's back*
true
Carmen reinhart, kenneth rogoff lash out against paul krugman over austerity criticism
false
My washing machine is racist.. it only likes whites with whites and colors w colors..
true
25 times mariah carey proved she's one glamorous mom
false
A timeline of venezuela's months of protests and political crisis
false
What's the most popular contraceptive in israel? iron condome
true
The most outrageous looks from the 2018 grammy awards
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To the man who just got naked in public i admire your balls
true
I don't have bad posture, my body's just sad.
true
Bob marley's son reveals a surprising thing about his father
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All the letters of the alphabet line up in front of a prostitute a says, alpha queue.
true
A special seahawks plane flew all over washington, because that's how seattle rolls
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Doctor doctor i keep thinking i'm a slice of bread. doctor: you've got to stop loafing around.
true
Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. i am forever in your debt.
true
I'm not intimidated by a pretty woman. i'm intimidated by smart women, who happen to be pretty.
true
Report: driver deliberately injures paris police officer outside presidential residence
false
What separates the men from the boys in the catholic church? a condom.
true
Mara hoffman taps 'feminists, activists and artists' for powerful shoot
false
What did the bull say to the green eyed cow? i can't get pasteurize.
true
Kids' first judo fight is more like a series of adorable, aggressive hugs
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Why are women like condoms? because they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
true
All my friends are dead: the cost of republican health care
false
Banksy unveils brexit-inspired mural showing dismantling of eu flag
false
A-rod's lawsuit is a bait-and-switch to avoid blame
false
What goes 99-clonk 99-clonk 99-clonk ? a centipede with a wooden leg !
true
Where do you put a jew with adhd a concentration camp.
true
Reese witherspoon's cotton-candy colored dress: love it or leave it? (photos, poll)
false
Top 10 ice cream shops in the u.s.
false
United states high school graduation rate reaches a record high
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I was gonna tell a pizza joke, but it's too cheesy.
true
Johnny depp always looks like he is just as confused by his accent
true
Democrats want an investigation into donald trump's whistleblower threats
false
Cannibalism isn't funny although, it depends on a person's taste...
true
My neighbors listen to good music. whether they want to or not!
true
How do you spot an engineer at a party? he'll come up to you and tell you himself.
true
Just because it's dreary outside, doesn't mean the fashion has to be
false
Why did the snowman start smiling because he saw the snow blower coming
true
Why are dwarfs so depressed? because six out of seven dwarfs aren't happy.
true
Why can you never trust a clumsy barista? because she's always spilling the beans!
true
Salvadoran immigrant dies in ice custody as detainee deaths rise
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Why do fish always sing off key? you can't tuna fish.
true
A policeman and a prisoner play chess. the policeman beats him.
true
I love the smell of my f5 key... it is very refreshing
true
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
true
I'm tired of conventional beauty standards that say i can't wear a ski mask in a bank
true
Why does santa have a large sack? because he only cums once a year
true
Pumped-up florida deputy drives off with gas station souvenir
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I went to a whorehouse the other day... the sign outside said we're closed so beat it
true
Some of my proudest moments have been when a website told me my password was very strong.
true
You know you're old when...... you can pronounce the names of your black peers.
true
What does reddit share in common with the real world? a messed up system of karma
true
Marco rubio and the challenge to hillary clinton
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12 ways couples are creating their own traditions this holiday season
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Cnn has the 'trust' advantage over president trump in a new poll
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15 drunk people turned into art by their friends (photos)
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