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What do you call a prematurely born chinese baby? sudden lee | true |
Fox's new york affiliate wants to focus on more positive news stories | false |
Doctor doctor i feel like a pack of cards. i'll deal with you later. | true |
Supreme court justice sonia sotomayor visits 'sesame street' to talk about careers (video) | false |
Slight variation on an arguable classic: how do mermaids reproduce? binary fish-ion. | true |
Bride busted for dui on the way to her wedding | false |
Happy birthday, jack! words of wisdom from america's greatest homegrown actor | false |
I started seeing a therapist about my fear of bridges. turns out i have severe truss issues. | true |
I know someone that was frozen to absolute zero once. he was 0k. | true |
Trump expected to rescind daca, senior official says | false |
Whistleblower statutory protections are frequently narrowly interpreted by courts | false |
What did one candle say to the other will you go out with me tonight? | true |
Yet another health care repeal vote to open congressional year | false |
I drafted 1984 madonna and a meatball sub for my fantasy football team. hey, it's my fantasy. | true |
How two women fell in love and created safer spaces for lgbt youth | false |
I was diagnosed with adhd last week. but my doctor sa | true |
Call me marquis de sade cause i'm a smooth operator | true |
Brad pitt might be better looking than me, but i am considerably fatter. | true |
Where did sally go when the bomb went off? everywhere. | true |
What did the communist say at the beginning of the race? on your marx, get set, go! | true |
You can now preview trent reznor's eerie 'gone girl' soundtrack | false |
How many mexicans do you need to change a lightbulb? juan. | true |
This news anchor just broke a major barrier for afro-latina journalists | false |
What to wear to work: 6 ways to update your working wardrobe (photos) | false |
I'm all in for hillary clinton, my next president | false |
After dark: meet amanda lepore, fashion icon and nightlife legend | false |
What did god say when he made the first black person? damn, i burnt one... | true |
Sale of blue nation review gives hillary clinton camp its very own media outlet | false |
What do you call a bored motherfucker? grandpa | true |
The best part of doma's repeal: its impact on immigration reform | false |
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. i just know it. | true |
Casual dresses that take up zero space in your suitcase (photos) | false |
What's the cheapest concert you can go to? 50 cent feat. nickelback. | true |
How is a bill cosby better than ronda rousey? he's never met a woman he hasn't knocked out. | true |
What we know so far about the new white house org chart | false |
Your head is sooooo bald i mistook you for a green rabbit. | true |
This reuben sandwich is also a pie, and it's the best food mashup | false |
In the balance: the public and the federal budget deficit | false |
'the onion' year in review 2012: the year's biggest fake stories (video) | false |
Why don't north koreans like jazz music? because they don't have seoul. | true |
Tokyo travel: one week in toyko, by lukas backland (video) | false |
14 of the most striking crater lakes on earth | false |
What has four legs and two assholes? a police horse. | true |
'scandal' cast takes selfies, makes us love them even more | false |
Women in the u.s. don’t live in a dystopian hellscape. yet. | false |
What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when eminem came in? *shady's back* | true |
Carmen reinhart, kenneth rogoff lash out against paul krugman over austerity criticism | false |
My washing machine is racist.. it only likes whites with whites and colors w colors.. | true |
25 times mariah carey proved she's one glamorous mom | false |
A timeline of venezuela's months of protests and political crisis | false |
What's the most popular contraceptive in israel? iron condome | true |
The most outrageous looks from the 2018 grammy awards | false |
To the man who just got naked in public i admire your balls | true |
I don't have bad posture, my body's just sad. | true |
Bob marley's son reveals a surprising thing about his father | false |
All the letters of the alphabet line up in front of a prostitute a says, alpha queue. | true |
A special seahawks plane flew all over washington, because that's how seattle rolls | false |
Doctor doctor i keep thinking i'm a slice of bread. doctor: you've got to stop loafing around. | true |
Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. i am forever in your debt. | true |
I'm not intimidated by a pretty woman. i'm intimidated by smart women, who happen to be pretty. | true |
Report: driver deliberately injures paris police officer outside presidential residence | false |
What separates the men from the boys in the catholic church? a condom. | true |
Mara hoffman taps 'feminists, activists and artists' for powerful shoot | false |
What did the bull say to the green eyed cow? i can't get pasteurize. | true |
Kids' first judo fight is more like a series of adorable, aggressive hugs | false |
Why are women like condoms? because they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. | true |
All my friends are dead: the cost of republican health care | false |
Banksy unveils brexit-inspired mural showing dismantling of eu flag | false |
A-rod's lawsuit is a bait-and-switch to avoid blame | false |
What goes 99-clonk 99-clonk 99-clonk ? a centipede with a wooden leg ! | true |
Where do you put a jew with adhd a concentration camp. | true |
Reese witherspoon's cotton-candy colored dress: love it or leave it? (photos, poll) | false |
Top 10 ice cream shops in the u.s. | false |
United states high school graduation rate reaches a record high | false |
I was gonna tell a pizza joke, but it's too cheesy. | true |
Johnny depp always looks like he is just as confused by his accent | true |
Democrats want an investigation into donald trump's whistleblower threats | false |
Cannibalism isn't funny although, it depends on a person's taste... | true |
My neighbors listen to good music. whether they want to or not! | true |
How do you spot an engineer at a party? he'll come up to you and tell you himself. | true |
Just because it's dreary outside, doesn't mean the fashion has to be | false |
Why did the snowman start smiling because he saw the snow blower coming | true |
Why are dwarfs so depressed? because six out of seven dwarfs aren't happy. | true |
Why can you never trust a clumsy barista? because she's always spilling the beans! | true |
Salvadoran immigrant dies in ice custody as detainee deaths rise | false |
Why do fish always sing off key? you can't tuna fish. | true |
A policeman and a prisoner play chess. the policeman beats him. | true |
I love the smell of my f5 key... it is very refreshing | true |
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel | true |
I'm tired of conventional beauty standards that say i can't wear a ski mask in a bank | true |
Why does santa have a large sack? because he only cums once a year | true |
Pumped-up florida deputy drives off with gas station souvenir | false |
I went to a whorehouse the other day... the sign outside said we're closed so beat it | true |
Some of my proudest moments have been when a website told me my password was very strong. | true |
You know you're old when...... you can pronounce the names of your black peers. | true |
What does reddit share in common with the real world? a messed up system of karma | true |
Marco rubio and the challenge to hillary clinton | false |
12 ways couples are creating their own traditions this holiday season | false |
Cnn has the 'trust' advantage over president trump in a new poll | false |
15 drunk people turned into art by their friends (photos) | false |
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