title
stringlengths 1
300
| content
stringlengths 1
39k
⌀ | score
int64 0
6.38k
|
|---|---|---|
Summer fucking sucks | Its 3 am for me so yeah idk ima just leave and say some shit here. Im having 1 month more for my summer vacancy june, july, and august. Its not even half summer yet and i can't take this shit no more. Havent seen any of my friends, fucked up my sleep schedule so im just bored all night now. Nothing, jusy nothing. No girlfriend, no friends no fun. After that i'll have to change school again, my best average of the year is 7,29/20. I have the second fucking worse of my class. Im gonna have a ps5 and a new tv but i feel like it dosent make me happy and im juste once again ruining my mom. My mom wich can't stand me even if i dont smoke, drink or do anything stupid, im the nicest child you couldve asked for but she still fucking complains. Im trying to loose weight but i eather eat too much or not enough. Im just doing nothing right, even if it dosent change from usuall. I frel alone man, so fucking alone. I dont feel really loved but at the same time i get it i would hate myself if i wasnt me too. No matter what before school starts again im fucking myself up. Guns arent buyable in any stores in my country sadly so im gonna hang myself and be done with this shit. | 1 |
Road to moving on/growing has a lot of sad days. | In a transitional period of my life. Cost myself my integrity, respect from others, romantic love, financial freedom, and a fun summer. Doing my best to better myself through therapy, working out, lots of articles and books. I have good days but there are still a lot of sad days. Remorse and shame are powerful emotions. The weekends are always the hardest, at least during the week I have work/structure to keep my focused.
Anyway. Cheers to a new week. Pretty sad this morning but I’ll make sure to be a more productive that I was yesterday. | 5 |
Well im sad | Well ive been single my entire life, not for lack of trying, but by my count ive been rejected a total of 23 times and i give up. Im not talking about just going up to someone and asking them out, i dont count that. Im talking finding someone u know u can like taking months getting to know them and them getting to know me. Waiting for the right moment and asking them out, not even to big things but just normal stuff like coffee, lunch, a movie. After which being explicitly told “its not happening” one way or the other. So i was done i shut down stoped caring and continued on with my life. Then the party happened a girl i had already told i liked years ago and moved on was super drunk and talking about bad passed boyfriends and started talking about what makes a good boyfriend and a good guy. Then about how great a guy i am and how im always there when she needs me. Then after said drunken conclusion she starts to get kinda handsy and started saying she loves me we sat for a while all curled up on a double swing just talking and eventually she wanted to go upstairs with me and i refused saying we were both way to drunk to do that but if she still felt the same way tommorow id be more than willing to give “us” a shot. Eventually she drank till she droped so i carried her upstairs tucked her in and went downstairs to sleep on the floor. Next day comes i go and grab donuts and kolaches and when she wakes up i prob a little and ask if she had fun last night only to learn she remembered nothing. So moral of this story if your easy to hurt dont open yourself back up itll just hurt you more. Shutting down again has proven very difficult so ill just remain sad till i break down and shutdown then all will be back to normal. | 2 |
Life is so unfair | There's a lot to say in general on how unfair life is, just think that some people are born with everything (health, money, beauty, happiness) while many others have to live miserable lives. Or think about how many honest hard-working people never get to success while others just have luck (like winning the lottery) and reveive everything without having to do nothing. In my example it's about love. I'm really in love with a girl and I would do anything for her, she's my everything, but she prefers a moron who couldn't care less about her, and when alone with me even said he thinks she's ugly, just cause he's beautiful while I was unlucky to be born ugly. | 5 |
Is it normal to feel so sad ab being lonely even though you normally would rather be by yourself. | Just for background. I (21F) used to be on birth control & it made everything about living just feel dull and i was going through the motions and i was overall unhappy. I’m extremely busy due to nursing school. I struggle with anxiety. I was in an unhappy relationship for 3 years with a very sweet guy that i just didn’t love. This summer i am on break from school, I’ve got off birth control, I started working out a lot like everyday almost lots of different workouts and i’ve fallen in love w fitness. Fitness is helping my anxiety and i’m overall happier. However i just get lonely sometimes because i don’t have anyone to hang out with. I made a new friend recently but he’s married so i can’t hang out with him because that’s be weird so we only text. He is the sole person i speak to everyday so if he’s ever busy i’m just so lonely and i hate relying on one person like that. I have two girlfriends but they only ever wanna hang out with their man. I am introverted and thrive off doing things alone i recently went to an amusement park by myself. It does get lonely having nobody to talk to though especially at night. People typically like me but never wanna be close friends because they have their own already. I just wanna do activities but it’s scary doing some things alone as a girl tbh as much as i’d want to. I just don’t know what to do because I am doing so much better otherwise and this is a source of sadness for me some days and i don’t wanna feel sad. Again i love being by myself and don’t need a ton of people. But it sucks that if i wanna go canoeing or to an amusement park something like that I don’t have anybody to ask or if i ask the two girlfriends they’re busy w their man and i gotta wait weeks to months for the plan to happen if it even happens at all.
TL;DR I used to be going through life on autopilot and sad. I have since turned my life around and i am overall happier and enjoying time with myself and taking myself out to do things i want. However i still feel lonely sometimes having nobody to talk to & not having people to do things with is becoming a source of sadness for me because i have a hard time with friends and not everything can be done alone. | 11 |
I wrote my suicide note. | I'm okay. I won't hurt myself, but every time I read it, I feel a sense of closure. It reads as follows:
"Hello, so as you've all known, I've struggled with my clinical depression my whole life. I've really tried to do so much to be happy, but nothing is really fulfilling. Besides, this feeling I've felt has been felt for as long as I can remember. I've really never wanted to live life. Of course I've tried to do so much as I could, but nothing just feels fulfilling. I've tried meds, but those just gave me serotonin syndrome, or only made me want to hurt myself more. When I first was hospitalized while taking meds when I was 15, that wasn't even my first attempt nor was it the last. It's just the only one that's gotten so far.
Other things though, that I've tried was more natural things, such as working out and eating better. But again, it just isn't enjoyable. On top of that, food never has flavor. Everything just tastes like mush. The only reason I ate the way I did was so I could maintain my weight. Otherwise, I would just not eat at all. But like I've said, I really tried as much as I could to try to feel something. And the decision isn't impulsive either. I've felt this way for as long as I've been on this earth. I've been planning suicides for myself for as long as I can remember. But like I said, this is the ultimate decision of the entirety of my life, with my depression leeching and sucking the enjoyment from everything.
Deep down, I'm still there. It's just that my depression has overtaken me. It's like a parasite, and it's taken over me for so long. I'm just writing this especially to say how I feel. I know it may hurt, but you'll move on. You'll live your life and I'll just be a distant memory. Besides, just like how if someone doesn't like your cooking, you don't shove food down their throat because you want them to eat your food. Life is the same way. You don't shove life at someone who's never wanted to live life, especially when they've felt that way for so long. In a way, I oddly feel happy writing this now. The rare moment I feel happy, is when my depression makes me feel to want to do this. Please understand. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I hurt too." | 5 |
Telling Mom | I knew she wanted to say 1000 things
But the sad thing was knowing that she felt so bad about what her child could’ve done
She only wanted to feel their warm embrace so that she may never lose it, for at that point all words had lost their importance. | 8 |
Plz be brutally honest: if someone touches you on your shoulder/back when they haven't asked you/you didn't tell them beforehand that it was okay for them to do that, would you class that as invading personal space? |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14dir5o) | 1 |
Nobody knows I exist | Even when ppl know I exist they are disgusted and don’t care about me. I’m not entertaining enough to have friends and too ugly for girls to care about me. Idk what to do, it’s too hard | 3 |
Feeling behind | How do you get over the feeling of being behind. I’m 22 F, have severe depression and anxiety since I was 15 years old. I dropped out of college my first semester, because my college hospitalized me. I’ve spent my years working on my mental health and trying to figure out what I wanna do. I see everyone from my year graduate and get engaged, move out and live life. For me it’s not like that. I feel stuck. I know it’s never good to compare, but I wonder where I went wrong and why I couldn’t figure out what to do or be smart enough to pass. Like I’m very behind in life and it depresses me a lot that I didn’t get to travel or really have my own life like I see people have. What do I do? I can’t help but feel like I’m a waste of life. | 3 |
Father's Day yesterday. I was thinking about the best memories I have of my dad when I was a kid. | Realized that I'm actually older that he was at that point. And I've failed at half of what he did. At least I don't have a worthless son. | 1 |
Why do some hugs hit you so hard | I was at a party with my best friend who I've been friends with for a long time, but she hugged me when we were just chilling on. Acouch playing cards against humanity. And something just snapped in me, i don't know why but i woke up crying thinking about it. I'm not someone who easily cries and almost always in a good or happy mood. I'm not sure what I'm feeling or what i want. Do i talk with her about it or should i keep it for myself? I've had this happen before but nothing like this time. | 3 |
Am I the problem? | It has been like this for months already. Lost passion for studies because of teachers, lost trust because of classmates, lost motivation due to my parents and a little bit of my gf.
And, everyone around me seems so happy, and that got me wondering: am I the problem? Am I just too weak or something? | 4 |
I dont want to | Please reply to this
I have nothing to live for and i cant do anything i love because i am too young and i dont want to wait to do them because it will take years. I am thinking about suicide but the only reason i dont do it is because i am scared of death and there is plenty of things that i have left to do.
Goodbye🖤 | 4 |
Anxiety issues | My anxiety issues are getting worse. I can't even order food without being on the verge of a panic attack, it's that bad. Because of covid, I was isolated for two years. Before that, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and being isolated without knowing how to socialize didn't help.
I should talk to a therapist, I know. I used to have one, but she quit her job. And my mom believes it never helped me so I'm not allowed to get another therapist.
I don't know what to do, I'm having panic attacks really often now and I'm scared. | 2 |
Guilt. | Look I know it’s been 5 months already since dad passes in front of me but I can’t stop thinking. What if I told him to wait and he could’ve lived. What if I took longer getting into the car so the rocks would have fallen on me and not him. I can die he can’t why did he have to go. I’m the one who failed him. He said he’ll make me a clinic and get me a gold necklace he said he’ll do everything for me. Now he’s gone, I’m alone. My dad, my best friend, is dead. Gone. And I’m just as pathetic. It’s 3am rn I don’t want to see the morning but I don’t wanna die. I’m laying pathetic in my bed, crying for no reason. Gosh it’s all my fault. I could have tied the cloth stronger around his legs to slow the bleeding more so he could live but no I’m a fucking bitch. I was 13. I’m 14 now, what did I do to deserve this at my age. Help please. | 5 |
Everyone forgot bout my birthday | So yesterday was my birthday and everyone forgot about me no one ever send me a massage not even my close friends and family im feeling sad rly sad and aline today i had to go back home from work i could not continue with my day my father the day before just wanted me to go away cuz he was inviting a girl tht night so not even my dad all i wanted is Simple happy birthday in my damn day sorry for my english | 5 |
Can a suicidal person beyond saving? And if so what are the signs? |
There isn't much to say about this one
I stopped myself recently but I need to know. I just want to know what are the signs and if I'm wasting my time and should treat everything from here on out like late stage palliative care and focus on getting the most I can out of the little time I may have left or what
It's getting so bad that there's physical symptoms (or maybe my head is just fucking with me) either way I feel like I'm dying
I don't even WANT to kill myself (yet, i always wanted to on order to avoid aging too far but that was supposed to be at like 35 this is WAY TOO SOON ) I feel myself get closer everyday like I can't even help it
Only thing is I'm a poison person, I'm therapy and medicine resistant, even just the way my perception is- I'm not broken, I'm wired to hate living- ME FUNCTIONING PROPERLY IS NATURALLY ANTI-LIFE it's like engraved into who I am
I'm running out of time and I'm very scared and it hurts a lot. I just didn't expect it to hurt so fucking bad (it's a lot worse than it was before)
Not even just emotionally like I'm physically hurting but every option I think of is no good
That's all | 1 |
Heavy weekend | I've had a lot on my mind lately and somethings I've started to look at differently. Someone I used to know once saw a monster inside of me because of some of my behaviors and I don't blame them. I've never wanted to upset anyone, hurt them or make them feel bad. Because afterwards I feel incredibly bad and I want to do anything I can to fix it but you can't and I see now how I over exaggerate the intensity of things in my head and to protect myself I will often say something or act in a way that is over the top. Am I the monster or am I fighting the monster ...I just want to be happy and I want to bring happiness to others. It all starts with me the individual to make my bed and lay in it. I try to do my part to take care of my health and do the things that make me happy but none of it seems to help. Most days Im happy of content and others the monster wins. There never is a point in dwelling on the past, you should only reflect to remember good times and things to avoid. It's should only be a short stop, it's not a place to stay long. In the past I used to feel like a single person in the lake of the universe but lately i have felt like a single person in a quick sand pit in the center of nowhere. I wonder if the sand is a representation of my sub-consious, counting the down the sands of my time.
Love you | 1 |
gonna miss my dawgs | I’m showin schizoid tendencies, and I think I’m just gonna give up on interaction with my friends at this point. It’s not that I hate interactin with ppl, it’s just that I feel so out of place amongst my friend groups, and that everyone tends to suffer when I’m around. I stopped goin to cross country practice last year bc of this, and now that I’m a graduate most of my dawgs who I love more than anythin jus stopped interactin with me. I work too much to see em anyway. I’m close to bein homeless again tryna get this money for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints mission that I’m supposed to be goin on, and I hate livin with my family. Everyone thinks I’m homeless still but none of em check up on me. Probably bc of their faith in me, but maybe I jus put this shit down and delete all my socials. | 1 |
Lost the will to live. | It will never get better for some and people should just except it. I was sad my whole life and it just progressively has gotten worse and now I am completely broken. Life feels like cancer itself, just a slow suicide. I hurt so much everyday, I just don't want to hurt anymore. Life doesn't workout for everyone and it makes me sad that there is no beating this. I will lose this battle no matter how hard I keep fighting, I'm just delaying the inevitable. Some never get that happy ending or even peace of mind on their death beds. Life has been cruel. | 1 |
Plz be brutally honest, do you think suicide is the easy/weak way out of a mental health condition? | It feels like I can lie to myself and say that I deserve to be happy but I know that deep down there's no logical reason as to why I actually deserve to feel happy. Yes I might not have "chosen" to struggle with my mental health but regardless, I know if I didn't have struggle a lot with my mental health and if I wasn't so secretive about my emotions and anxieties(which eventually ends up with me completely exploding and saying a lot of very hurtful things both about myself and to my parents) then my family wouldn't have been through all this shit:
-frequent mental health appointments since a young age(from 7/8 years old onwards) varying in how emotionally distressing/upsetting the appointments were, depending on if I was calm/stable or if I was in a crisis anxiety/emotion wise.
-having a really difficult time with self harm in autumn/winter 2011(when I was 12), it was the case where I think it was genuinely the fact that I didn't realize how much I had actually hurt myself until I had to literally go into hospital for eye surgery because of how I hurt myself. Then later that year in late December another family member kind of had an anxiety collapse/mental breakdown and whilst I know that 2011 was generally a difficult year for us as a family for other reasons than just me hurting myself but I kinda feel like if I hadn't ended up having to have surgery for what I did to myself, then the family member wouldnt have had a breakdown. I know that even if my parents haven't said it out loud, that they probably have trauma from when I hurt myself and even though I know I probably also kind of have some level of trauma from what I did to myself, I feel like because it also hurt other people that means I'm not allowed to class it as being traumatic. As a result of this, I have quite intense health anxiety and I think in some senses I still feel quite sad about what happened and for example I kind of want to go for an eye test but I'm just worried that my eye injury will be brought up because it kind of links to the fact that I can't really see much out of my left eye(sort of blurred vision) and part of me feels like I might cry or get upset because it kind of will feel like me having to reflect on the actual extent of when I hurt myself if that makes sense)
I'm just finding it really hard to create a separate identity for myself which is away from my anxiety/mental health. I still very much see it as a massive sign of personal failure or weakness if i am not coping with my mental health as well as I feel I should be/not being as strong as I feel like I should be. In the city I live in, there are a few local drop in type mental health charities/support hubs including my local Mind(a UK mental well-being support charity) where I actually had counselling at, back in 2017. I kind of just want to go there or to a similar place and be honest and just let myself cry but something just makes me feel too nervous every time I've tried to, and I'm not sure why that is.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14cxh2t) | 3 |
What’s the saddest thing someone has told you? | Was curious as to what was the saddest thing you guys were told/heard about for me it was when I when to go pick up my buddy from the airport after he got back from the military and on our way out to pay the toll a really nice older lady told me that I remind her of her son who had passed away 2 years prior she said in a low soft voice “I was just thinking about him” I still think about her and that brief moment I hope she’s doing better | 5 |
Father’s Day | Alone again for Father’s Day. I miss my baby’s but there mother won’t let me we them for this day cuz of her new husband needing the “dad” on top of my ilness. I honestly hate holidays… | 12 |
So more happened with my mother... | My mother called me to her room, and she brought up the fact that she spoke to my dad's bio dad and his wife, as well as one of their daughters, so one of my dad's half-sisters, about a situation that happened the last week of school.
Quick retelling of the story, basically I wasn't entertaining enough for this dude and he got upset, and I brought up pride month and he called me a slur, y'all should know which one, so I told my mother and she made me report it and the school didn't do much at all and threatened me with a suspension for the rest of the school year, meaning I'd miss finals.
Anyways, back to the main story. I don't have good contact with my dad's bio dad's side of the family, but they are great people. We live about 20 hours away, so that's probably why. But she wanted me to talk to my dad's other half sister about what happened, despite her knowing I have a hard time opening up to adults and talking to people I don't know too well. I told her I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to her about it, and she accused me of turning our polite conversation into a full-fledge argument for just saying I don't know.
She then went on to explain that I shouldn't feel apprehensive about talking to her since she's family and, "she's a lesbian too"---I should add, I use they/them pronouns most of the time, and I've dated a woman and I'm currently with a person who was afab, now uses he/they pronouns and presents masculinely, and she believes that I'm just gonna leave him when he transitions over to male and gets surgery because I "hate men", which again, isn't true. I love my boyfriend, he's the best thing to ever happen to me and just being with him and knowing he's in my life makes me so happy. He shows me genuine love that I've never felt before. Meaning her thing about me just being a lesbian is just stupid and isn't true.
She just called me a bitch and left it at that. I hate her. So fucking much. She constantly invalidates my feelings and my entire identity, yells at me, gets upset for me just responding, makes threats when I call her out on her shit, and just treats me like shit. I've had enough. I don't want to live like this anymore. | 3 |
Hindi talaga ako importante | ... | 0 |
I’m not going to | I’m not going to kill myself. I wanna see things in life. I wanna see the entire north, but….I can’t. I just can’t find a way to get up from my bed so how can I be productive. My body’s in agony. My minds in agony. I dissociated for 2 months. I have PTSD. I can’t can’t can’t even be a coherent person so how can I expect myself to be a good person. How in the morning will I face my mother., The women I hate and love, and know that I thought multiple times to not go on anymore. She said she hates me, than she loves me, its my fault he died. Why is it me. Why can’t I have my warm mom back. Why is my dad 6ft down. Why is my brother my only parental figure now. What did I do wrong | 2 |
Father’s Day posts are getting to me | One of my favorite subs is “baking,” and like other subs right now, it’s full of Father’s Day posts of delicious and beautiful tributes to fathers.
My father abandoned me at 14.
I found out recently he’s been an amazing father figure to his step niece, even hosting her wedding last year, walking her and everything.
Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of work on overcoming trauma from the past, so a lot of memories are fresh in my mind.
It’s too painful even to tell you guys the anecdotes. I’m just really saddened today, and even that sucks. I don’t want him to affect me anymore. | 3 |
i wish i was a cat | people are dumb. universe is irrational. i just want to disappear. i hardly get to sleep everyday because my anger hits me bad during the night. i have been trying. at least some hobbies, or to make friends, sports, education, reading. but it does not change anything. im the same guy again. whole world is same. no one ever understands me. i say yes, people get no. my family, old friends, yall suck. i have been alone for a while. i wish i was never been born. i would rather being a cat if i had the chance to choose. sleeping and eating all day. not giving damn care to anything at all. | 3 |
My dog is being put down tomorrow | I just came home maybe 3 hours ago from my best friends house and my mom told me and my sister that our dog is going to be put down tomorrow we've had him since before I was born and the worst part is tomorrow I have to go to school knowing that when I get home my dog probably won't be there to greet me ( also I just got a new phone cause the old one broke and I had hundreds of videos and pictures of him on it that are gone forever) | 3 |
Shitty shelter food | I’m sick of this shitty shelter food. There were times I’ve forced myself to eat the food here and have gotten sick. I bet people in jail eat better than this. I’m sick if it:( | 3 |
Father's day with no father | Today is the first father's day since my dad died he died after a while of fighting kidney failue it caused heart failure I I didn't know so like usual I kept my distance because I didn't have the best relationship with my dad. My dad was so proud of himself because after so long not being able to work because of his illness he was finally able to afford a apartment I'm such a terible son o wasn't there for him I bet he died feeling like I didn't love him God Im such a fucking piece of shit I didn't even see his apartment I fucking hate myself I went Months at a time not seeing him. And on the day my dad died he sent me a text that he loved me before he died and i didn't even reply.
God I fucking hate myself I hate myself so fucking much all I ever think about is all the things i said all the times I said I hate him all the times I called him names all the times I blamed him for everything and never did anything wrong all he ever wanted was for me to be a good person and a good man and I've stomped on all dreams all my father ever wanted was for me to know he loved me and I spitbon it I can't take the pressure anymore I barley eat or sleep I can't do the things I love anymore because all I think about is my dad I hate my self I hate myself I hate myself I wish my dad had a better son o wish I had died instead I wish I could take his place every day it hurts to even live I just wish the pain would go away I just want the pain to stop I want it all to stop | 1 |
It's my birthday and all I can think about is that I'm the same age as my dad. | I just turned 24. My dad was 24 when he passed. He died 3 months before I was born. I kinda just wanted to know if someone has had the same experience. Everyone I know acts like they know how I feel, when I know they don't. I know I should be happy that I've made it this far, but when I came to the realization, it hit me hard. I don't want to be coddled over it, I just want someone to ACTUALLY understand.
Plus my birthday is always either on or near father's day every year (June 16). If that's not the definition of irony, I don't know what is... | 5 |
I blocked my parents | My parents have been emotionally abusing me for years. Previously I chalked it up to a cultural difference and just the way they were brought up. But lately I realized I’m an emotionally abused child and I don’t have to put up with it anymore. I just blocked their numbers after my dad chastised me for paying off debt and tried to tell me I’m copying others who have done the same. He legit screamed this to my face. This is the same man who broke my Britney Spears CD when I was 6. The same one who had repeatedly compared me to my classmates. The one who’s never understood the adult way he reacted when I was just a child. Refused to acknowledge mistakes and say I’m sorry. This Father’s Day, I decided I’m done. I’m sad it’s come to this. | 2 |
My dad died last week and today I had to bring my wife to the ER because she was afraid she was going to kill herself | I just feel so fucking alone. My dad was a recluse and I found him dead last week in his garage-infested apartment. I haven’t had time to grieve, because my wife’s mental health has gotten so bad she was afraid if we didn’t take her in she’d kill herself. No one knows what my dad was really like and how fucking hard that was. And my wife is so embarrassed to be going in so I can’t tell anybody and I’m just fucking alone. I’ve never felt like this in my life and I’m just sad. Needed it off my chest so I thought I’d post here. Thanks for listening. | 30 |
Im happy that one day i'll die | My life is okay. Nothing is particularly dramatic in it. But i know i will never really have somewhere to belong to. Someone that likes me the way i deserve because frankly i can't accept being liked. It was the other week that it became clear to me that my mental health has been in serious crisis for a long time and I'll probably never ever recover. Frankly i wonder if there's a world where i am happy. Certainly wouldn't be anything like this one. Yeah in a slightly different version of this story I'd be completely fine but damn boi i had 0 chances lol. What i am rn is literally best i could do with what I've had. Yet im so mentally messed up that i don't even want to be happy or liked or successful. All that motivates me is my sadistic anger. Really gave up. Im nowhere near how good i used to function at least when i wanted to. Ive became so much more impulsive, sensetive and negative. I constantly keep myself underestimated to avoid impulsive behaviours. And all i can fantasize about is really my own death just in different ways. There's no return really. You know I've never had the chance to chase my dreams, make friends or live a normal life. Even tho my life right now is pretty normal. You would think being a child of two rich doctors could NEVER lead to my life but damn. They should never had children. Really looking back they almost did everything to ensure im gonna end like this. I was the smart kid that can't follow simplicity. They made sure to ruine everything for me. I was literally hospitalized due to what was rooted in my stress levels once lol. Guess that many years of negative experience in early childhood does kinda mess your brain up lol. Anw im just writing this here because i truly hate myself and wish i never ever had the chance to breath. And ofc because i have to release my negative tension just so that i can accumulate more while getting my dumb shit done lol. Thank you for reading my useless essay on how mentally messed up i am even though im sure none of it is written well enough to be understood. | 3 |
Being nice sucks | Man I'm tired of being nice tired of acting like I'm ok I'm tired of people hating me making fun of me no reason tbh I just want to start not giving a shit start to be mean | 30 |
Blank stare | Why do girls look at me with a blank face | 1 |
Do you think there's actually such a thing as "self inflicted trauma" | I'm confused because on one hand, if someone self harms or attempts to take their own life then I feel like a lot of ppl would say that because no one made them do that to themselves/that the person chose to do that to themselves then they can't class it as valid trauma even if they ended up having to have a serious medical treatment/were in a coma because of what happened. But then also I feel like if someone was in an okay/healthy mental state then they wouldn't have done that to themselves so I feel like that person shouldn't be blamed for what they did to themselves/that it's just as valid as a traumatic experience that didn't involve self harm or a s*icide attempt
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14chaxe) | 2 |
If someones health anxiety is getting to the point where they have dreams being diagnosed with serious illnesses/terminal illnesses, what level would you class that as being anxiety wise? | Happened last night to the point where I actually woke up this morning physically crying because of the dream I had(specifically being diagnosed with ovarian and breast cancer) I know it sounds kind of fucked up, but because of the fact that I've had quite intense health anxiety since a young age(from 7/8 onwards, I'm in my early 20s now) I feel like obviously this must just be normal for me to always in a sense feel unsafe in terms of my own health/body(as in always feeling a need to assume that me or someone in my family's health is in danger or at risk) I also feel like a large reason as to why my health anxiety feels so out of control is because I haven't processed some difficult emotions around a time when I had to go into hospital for quite intense surgery for a self harm injury. Also before my operation I also had quite a few trips with my parents to my GP/doctor and also to a&e for other mental health/self harm related reasons and I feel like if I'm being honest, that hospital environment still holds quite a lot of upsetting memories for me. At this point idk if I'm just overly sensitive or if other people also are very sensitive to the theme of death and illness(as in if I just need to pull myself together or if other people also feel like this)
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14ch3fk) | 2 |
It literally feels like I lost my brother even though he's still alive | I haven't spoken to him in two years because of our last big conflict with each other. Maybe a year later I decided that I would forgive him if he apologized for what he did, but that I would not let him back into my life. Today though I talked to my dad (we only ever talk maybe 2-3 times a year) and he had... well, words to say about my brother. One of those words was comparing my brother to someone else we know who was a complete psychopath and never changed or got any better and that made me realize the reality that my brother is never going to either. At that moment it felt like I lost my brother, because I knew that he would never be the same person I knew growing up. He's still alive but the person I knew as my brother is gone. | 3 |
.Domestic violence still exists… |
why men often bully and beat their families. Is it just because he is big body?
i’m sixteen now. Ever since i was little, my dad beat my mother when he was angry. Now my life is just difficult. My heart my body and the brain just just tired of this difficult things. Iwannadie early, i wanna disappear from this life. I didnt just blame my father, my mom is also to blame… They married. Why are they hurting childs and themselves. If it’s not give happy then should break up. Please dont hurt your child. Now what i want most is disappearing from this life..(fuck my life)) | 2 |
Another Party without me | The worst thing about going to sleep on a saturday is to hear the neighbors playing party music. Not only because its loud, but they are probably having fun. Which makes me sad, thinking that im never out on a saturday. I wish i could have more friends. | 7 |
My girlfriend left me and idk don’t know what to do | Somebody help me | 1 |
Loneliness | People get lonely, I get that. What I don't get how it csn consume someone's life it can ruin even the fun moments for them.
I'm so tired of being alone just looking at couples and bestfriends brings me pain. I can't stand to look at another happy partnership without wondering why I can't have that. I'm destroying myself wondering if I'm that unaproachable no one is intrested in me.
And I can't stand listening to the "when the time is right" bs, the time is never right, me, the place, the people are never right. | 3 |
I've got the blues | You know that feeling when you just want to speed on any road as fast as the vehicle will take you and throw away any worry about consequences whether that be life or law. Have you ever felt this way? I'm going through a rough patch and hearing your stories will help. Thanks | 1 |
Panicking again | My boyfriend is mad at me. He expressed this to me and it broke my heart. He's mad at me because I keep downplaying what I go through. I say things like, "It's nothing," or , "it's whatever," a lot, because I was raised with the mindset that someone has it worse so I should be grateful that I'm not being abused. So I downplay my feelings and experiences because I don't feel like they're that big of a deal. He's mad at me. And I feel like shit for making him mad. I didn't mean to. I don't want to put him in a position to be mad at me or uncomfortable around me because of a stupid little habit I have. And I'm actively having a panic attack while typing this because my parents are fighting and I've been hearing noises nearby that sound like fireworks but it is not the right time of the year for that, and it's also past the time the city I live in allows them. I get really anxious around loud sounds which quickly cause panic attacks where I just shut down, and the fact that loud noises and the fear of disappointing my boyfriend is present, I don't know what to do. | 1 |
bye yall. | ok this might be my last time ever posting on the internet so I just wanna say I love you all so much and you're all doing amazing by still being alive, keep breathing bc ppl need you, im tired and done with everyone and as I type this im hyperventilating just thinking about putting the cold steel of the barrel against my temple and pulling the trigger, you guys are awesome and im proud of you for living as long as you have, now im gonna go do my thing if I don't pussy out this time, bye. <3 | 3 |
I was a pretty fucked up kid/youth | . Did things and thought things I wasn't proud of. | 2 |
It's been awhile | I need to talk to someone. Anyone. Please someone talk with me. I can't stop thinking about killing myself. I've been thinking this way for 7 years now and I feel more in line with that than ever. I need some words of encouragement to not l.
https://youtu.be/sh5mWzKlhQY | 2 |
My son will not acknowledge father's day tomorrow | Just like last year and 9/10 texts I send him. I tried hard to be a good dad | 0 |
Too good to be true | I've been close friends with this girl online for close to 5 years now. We've never gotten the chance to meet but we have always talked and fantasized about it. Nearly 2 months ago we finally planned it all out, got a week off of our respective jobs, bought the plane ticket, etc. We've been counting down the days ever since, and at this very moment we were a little under 8 days until I'd be picking her up from the airport.
This past week has been hectic, stressful and a total shit show for unrelated reasons, but I've just kept telling myself that in a week I get to finally meet my best friend and I'll be off work, so I can just live in the moment and make memories with her.
She just texted me saying that she cancelled the trip because her aunt passed away from a stroke. The two weekends she wouldve been here are now occupied by a funeral and celebration of life. It's really difficult to even speak to her, not because I blame her or anything, but I feel pretty severe anger and sadness that this just had to happen now. I knew it was too good to be true.
I told her she should hurry and communicate with her manager to see if we could move the trip to one of the following weeks, but she responded with clear stress to that, stating that she has no idea if she would be able to and her mind is obviously on other things at the moment.
I've never been on this sub before but I just want to express my feelings because doing so to her is a little selfish considering a close family member just passed. I feel like shit. Part of me wants to break anything I can get my hands on, while the other part of me just wishes I could go to sleep and not think about anything. Like I previously mentioned, torn between anger and saddness. Either way, those aren't normal behaviors for me in the slightest. | 2 |
Would you say self harm is selfish/narcissistic? |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14c4hpk) | 1 |
Relationships | I feel like what is not talked about enough is how horrible you feel when you go trough your teenage years without experiencing relationships or 'love'. Everyone is so busy with their relationships, situationships and drama that those of us that have nothing going on just kinda blend into the background. I'm happy for everyone but it kinda sucks being the wall decor looking down on everyone having fun, while I sit being lonely. For those of you who are all caught up in your webs check in on your friends that sre always making jokes how they don't want a relationship or how they're content being alone/single. We may look finde but deep down we hurt. | 1 |
how to get out of a plateau | lost all my roster (women i talk to), going to the gym for at least a year and a half still no compliments from women plus i shot my shot with this one night thing i had and she softly turned me down, and lifes been down cause getting no support of my dreams esp my family they tend to laugh at me especially me going to the gym. idk what to do or where to get happiness anymore i hate talking to females they end up talking about themselves for the whole conversation no hbus or all about me i just feel used and all. no one to vent to or listen really feels lonely and the only friend i really had that really listened to my shit was my bestfriend who fcked my ex so i had to cut him off. every friend after him wasnt the same, they all talk about themselves or laugh at my down moments like these. idk what to do im just smoking my feelings away. | 0 |
offering help to those who need or want someone to talk to | you aren’t alone in dealing with issues, i’ve been through some pretty shitty things and i’ve been in some really low spots mentally. if you want to talk, game or just chill dm me and we can work something out. | 2 |
Hunger | Living in a shelter that serves food I wouldn’t give a dog. I hate the feeling of hunger:( | 1 |
I’m sick and had to cancel my golf date | I haven’t been out for weeks and I have an upper respiratory infection now and I’m taking antibiotics. I have such awful painful diarrhea(sorry, gross) and had to cancel a date, I feel so bad for cancelling and awful in general. ): | 0 |
Please help me out |
I hate asking for help, but all I want right now is to be able to distract myself from whats going on in my life right now. I miss my kid so much. I hate not wanting to be here anymore.
Music and being a father are the only things I'm good at. And right now I don't get to be a father in the capacity I'm use to. I just need a release. I don't want to be an angry person. Please share if you can, I really need this.
http://spot.fund/n61g1sc | 1 |
I’m traumatized | I feel numb right now, I feel empty as if I am dead inside. Sometimes I feel like weed and alcohol are the only things that genuinely make me happy. My uncle told me some very hurtful things today because he’s a bipolar piece of shit and wanted to take out his anger on me. It was the first time we had talked alone in months. He went straight to the point as we drove to go run some errand. He talked about how it was none of my fucking business to write that email I sent his girlfriend two years ago after she cheated on him and broke his heart. He was right it was none of my business but I had good intentions. It’s not like it matters though. He had asked me over a phone call about three weeks ago to apologize, I told him I would but never did so when he came by the house today he brought it up the moment we were alone and then proceeded to bring up my issues with my mother and compare the two as if they were even related. Saying that he doesn’t get in my business so why should I get in his. So once we got in the car he yelled at me and said that I am a ungrateful selfish person who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone besides myself. He said that I should be grateful that I get to live under his and my grandmothers roof and that I immature for deciding to avoid talking with my mother and father. I can’t remember the rest because I started to zone out halfway through him yelling and taunting me (a coping mechanism I learned from growing up in an abusive household). While he did this I did not look at him or say a word. I just sat there in silence trying to think about other things. Once we on the way back to my grandmothers house I balled my eyes out again not looking at him or saying a word to him while he tried to gaslight me into thinking that this was somehow all my fault. Like I was the problem, the reason he couldn’t live a “normal life”. He then proceeded to say he had put everything in the past and that he was happy and I obviously didn’t believe a word that came out of his mouth at that point because if he really had put this all behind him then why did practically force me to apologize to his girlfriend. | 6 |
All I do is sleep and cry | My university officially suspended me because I had no money to pay my fees. Now all I can do sleep and before I sleep I cry. My loneliness is skyrocketing, I look outside my window and I see friends and couples. I just want to die. I can’t even see my psychiatrist because my medical aid can’t pay and due to that, can’t get my meds. Everything is going downhill for me. All I want to be happy, is that too much to ask | 22 |
I'm tired of everything | Hey, I've been having suicidal thoughts on and off since I was a teenager, now I'm 26 and I've only just started to notice how these thoughts have increasingly become more prominent in my life. I've always had a lot of ups and downs but the downs have started to swallow up weeks to months at a time and now I'm thinking I should end my life once and for all. I had a lot of aspirations when I was younger but those dreams I shared were continuously mocked by my friends, the you'll never make it's and so on. Even my dad, who I love, said that my chances were a million to one, and it's always really stuck with me. I just don't see the point in living if you're not doing what you love. I shouldn't have to succumb to the expectations of society and become another cog in the machine just because my friends and family want me to be around. I've pursued acting, music and I've started writing a horror film because film is what I studied at university but I don't know if I'll even finish it, it's really difficult to stay grounded in a project when I'm constantly getting ideas of just jumping off a cliff or hanging myself instead.
I got out of a really toxic relationship earlier this year and I don't know if I'll ever recover from it. It was while I working on an album and I could never fully immerse myself in songwriting because my girlfriend was so demanding. Late one night I even drove and searched for her for hours because she was going to kill herself and I managed to find her and convince her not to. In return for that she's made me out to be a villain to her friends because I broke up with her after I couldn't handle it anymore. I abandoned the album and music all together shortly afterwards because I knew that even if I did succeed in that career, she would try to destroy me. A few months later a friend of mine died due to an accident, and he was one of the most genuine and sincere people I'd ever met. Life is relentless and it took away someone that only made other people happy whilst society remains ridden with narcissists and people that don't care about anyone but themselves. I'm genuinely stumped as to why I should keep trying. I either pursue my dreams to the bitter end and risk becoming homeless or I opt out for the sake of stability only to continue coexisting with assholes and being miserable. I don't want a family if I'm not happy with my career. I'd hate to have a child only for them to look up at me and see how sad I am. I only want children if I feel like I can inspire them and make them believe that anything is possible because that's what I wanted.
I'm so tired of everything, I can't talk to my friends and family about this because I don't want them to hurt from hearing it but I hate my life. I'm sick of being me and constantly making mistakes and trusting the wrong people. I really hope that Australia gets an assisted death system like they do in Switzerland because that's honestly all I want. I don't want to be alive to see the effects that technological advancement, poverty, climate change and overpopulation have on this world. I just feel like I was born at a time where it's only going to get worse, and where if I have children, it'll only be even worse for them too.
Sorry for the rant. | 8 |
Im done of rejection | They just reject me man there's no one you have accepted me. There's no one who loves me it's just sad and lonely. | 3 |
What is wrong with my head | I’m thinking back on how I used to act in therapy and it’s kind of crazy because my therapist was asking me if I had to be “perfect” and I was like “yes”, and then she was like, “but you understand we are humans and we are literally incapable of being perfect right?” And at the time I agreed with her, but now I literally have this standard for myself that’s insane. I tell myself this crazy thing that makes no sense at all. It’s, “just because humans are literally incapable of being perfect doesn’t mean I’m allowed to not be perfect”. I might as well tell myself “just because humans can’t fly doesn’t mean I’m allowed to just not fly”. What the heck is wrong with me | 2 |
I just relapsed | I've been trying really really hard not to sh and put myself back into the position I was in five months ago but today just threw me off and now I'm back to square one | 7 |
ME being alive | ME, not for loing but im still hear breathing and that the sadist thing i can think of | 1 |
It hurts me so much | How am I supposed to keep going when it hurts so much watching people suffer? I literally feel so much when someone loses their child or pet or family member. And, watching people and animals die breaks me. I feel so much guilt not being able to save some people. I just want to hold so many and heal them. I’m way too sensitive and way too caring. It’s killing me inside. | 6 |
No one actually cares for me | I have been in a 8 month long relationship and we’ve been going through a rough patch recently. I poured out my heart how i feel so alone and have no one to listen to me and she sits here and blocks me. i told her how i feel like hurting myself and she said “aww that’s sad” i have no real friends and no reason to keep going. | 2 |
Ugh love | When you’re literally in-love with one of your friend and then he tells you that he likes this other girl WITH THE SAME NAME AS YOU <<< | 2 |
Discord for venting, getting advice and support | I call it the safe space, as it should be a safe space and positive environment for everyone to receive advice, support, and much more.
Also, just a heads up that it’s only for those looking for a supportive environment and not anything inappropriate, I’ve had one or two instances where people joined and started pming others and harassing them, just wanted to make that clear. Nothing wrong with relationships but no harassment is tolerated, tysm! | 1 |
helping | I swear I try to help everyone on r/sad but I feel like I'm not doing anything people will post they wanna talk, I'll reach out to them and they won't talk or we'll talk for a bit and they'll randomly stop, but whenever I try to ask for help (which I have a few times because I really want advice) barely anyone says anything.
I just want to help. | 2 |
Looks like everybody around me have love and happiness, I dunno what to do to also feel that way. | Maybe I do, but seems like I don’t | 6 |
I don’t know | I don’t know how this stuff works first time posting. I met my best friend 12 years ago on Xbox and around 7 years I started having a crush over the years I asked my crush out 3 times all 3 time it was a no. Feels never went away they just got more. My crush is obsessed with someone else that was in their life but things ended bad and now my crush is going tho hell and my crush is saying it’s cause stress and that making them rot from the in side out. I move up to help them as much as I can move in get a job at Amazon. Where the person is working. My crush knows how I feel. I’m not even on my crush radar as in people they find attractive. I tryed every thing to get over them but I take 1 years from them and it’s the worst year of my life. I just found out today that If my crush is thinking of ending it I’m not a person who they will massage to talk to them. I can’t tell them no. I tried but when I look at them. I put my whole life on pause to make them happy but after I moved up here they tell me nobody can help me but the person. I’m willing to try but I keep getting shut down. I’m offered to move in to an apartment with them like we planned years ago. They tell me I’m going to have to pay a lot of rent. I’m ok with that. Move 6 hrs away from family. Just to help my crush but now I can’t sleep or relax because I have to worry about them ending them self. Like I don’t want to work a 10hr job just to come home and see your sun in your cloudy world dead by ending it. My crush knows what they changed in my life. I just heard saying what your feeling helps. Just want people to help or laugh or comment. Thxs for reading | 2 |
I don't expect anyone to answer but I need to vent anyway... | Where to begin! I'm not ready for school again I have so many ppl I'm in drama with and my family always gets in fights when it comes to the assignments and teachers. The fact I got a job and everything my bff who moved away and me will have a hard time arranging a visit and I rlly miss her like crazy! I have situations that are long gone like a group I was close with everyone ganged up on me including the one I was close to for 5 years and I took the blame this happened 2 years ago and I still can't stop thinking about it..I take anxiety meds and when I'm not on them or forget them I have panic attacks even when IM NOT EVEN DOING QNYTHING! I can be in bed watching SpongeBob and there it is a stupid panic attack for no reason. What do I even do at this point I'm so tired and so done I only have one year of highschool left that's true but I'm just done I have been in more drama in a lifetime and I'm only 17 and I don't like drama but ppl just love starting it I try and be there but I just get used and taken advantage of. I'm so lonely and tired of the anxiety and just the way I feel in general..I guess I'm tired of talking to a stuffed animal and need someone to talk to but my mom doesn't want to pay for a therapist and I just started the job not too long ago and don't have enough of ugh money just yet.. | 1 |
Feeling empty on most days. Don't know how much more I have left in me. | I'm so disappointed in myself. I'm nowhere close to where I should be. It's hard to keep pushing on, sometimes I feel like giving up. I don't feel like I matter or what I'm doing achieves anything. Everyday feels sad and long. I wish I could do the impossible, and do more to help those around me. But I always fall short, and blame it on myself. It doesn't get any better, I've been feeling like this for a while. I've been living terribly for a while mentally and physically and don't know if I can keep going. I want to, but life isn't getting any easier. And I keep feeling worse. Idk what I can do but feel better, but I'm trying. | 10 |
I'm tired. [TW: Mentions SH scars/SA from the past] | Just like the title says, I'm tired. Of what is a long, long list that I'm not even sure I could reach the end of, but I'm sure there's an end. But I'm not supposed to be tired. I'm supposed to be perfect; keep up with everyone's lives (this includes family members I haven't seen in months/years as well as my day-to-day friends and family), make sure the house is clean for my parents, make sure every little inconvenience is taken care of, not talk back, take care of the majority of the chores, keep straight A's, and make sure everyone's happy. Or else I'm not good enough.
My mother is verbally abusive. She has very high standards. I know I'm smart and can do the work, but getting and keeping a 4.0 GPA is hard. Anything inconveniences my mother and it's automatically my fault and I get yelled at for it. I have a thing where I cry the moment someone is irritated with me/raises their voice (for positive and negative reasons) and I think my mother caused that. My mother also denies the fact that I have severe trauma.
It took 2 years before I opened up to my therapist about issues at home, and in two more years she quit her job to live her life. I miss her. I viewed her as a mother-like figure. It also doesn't help that I'm genderfluid and prefer they/them pronouns and my mother misgenders me all the time. She knows, she just doesn't care. She talks of wanting me to break up the only person who's ever shown me genuine love and what that feels like. My mother also is pushing me, a minor, to have sex or sexual experiences while underage. I'm tired of my mom.
Every friend I have really only genuinely sits down and talks to me when they want to vent their frustrations. Which I don't mind, I like being there for my friends, they're nice to be around and I want to support them in any way possible, but they never ask before doing so. I have one friend that always has to one-up me. There was one occasion where I was on my period with really bad cramps and a really unsteady flow, I hadn't eaten in 3 days, and, because I was on my period, I was feeling that nice lovely feeling of dysphoria. I brought up the fact that I was having really bad cramps so I was gonna sit out of PE that day, and she just cut me off and said, "Well I'm still participating and I'm on my period, and I haven't eaten today." I get it, she does have a physically painful life, doing karate everyday for like 10 years, but still. I'm tired of having to make people happy.
I have zero complaints about my relationship. The only thing that hurts is when he says he's proud of me for pushing forward despite my struggles. It's because I hardly am. It's like pushing a large but round boulder. It'll move, but when you lose strength depends on your will. And that will is hardly there.
Before my good relationship, I had a girlfriend. She was very toxic. She guilted me into the relationship, hurt my friends and family, physically and emotionally, forced me to say, "I love you," before I was ready, tried to get me to kiss her when I never kissed anyone before (my first kiss was a big deal to me then, but luckily I never kissed her), and went beyond my boundaries. I told her day 1 I wasn't comfortable with her touching me any way shape or form without my consent, and she kept hanging over me and trying to steal my stuff. I had only known her for 3 weeks before this too, so I didn't want her taking my stuff like that. Day 4, she grabbed my inner thigh and held her hand there. She never asked. I still get anxious when my boyfriend, who makes sure I'm always comfortable and has never gone beyond my boundaries, does that in a non-sexual way with my consent. I still have panic attacks, since she wants to come back into my life. She wants to come back. I don't want her back.
I lost my best friend of 5 years because I found out she was a liar and a gate-keeper, trying to push everyone I had away. I drew the line when she said a friend of mine of 6 years tried to convince her brother to off himself, which was a lie since I saw their whole convo from my friend of 6 year's side. She lied to me about my boyfriend groping her (she admitted to me she lied about that), and she lied about so much more. She controlled me for so long. I lost so many people because I was too blind by her kindness towards me to see what she was doing. And I hate it. I hate her.
I'm tired. I'm tired of having to be perfect to get any sort of love. I'm tired of feeling gender dysphoria. I'm tired of having panic attacks because of my ex. I'm tired of seeing scars on my wrists and knees from the blade I swore would never slice my skin. I'm tired of being. I'm just tired. And I don't want to disappoint my boyfriend because I love him and I don't want him to see me this way, but I'm just tired.
I'll be fine again soon, I always bounce back, I just need to express this to people who don't personally know me. | 1 |
i'm sad, i can't cry anymore, i think i'm in a bad headspace rn | I want to, but I can't cry anymore. I think I've repressed my feelings and everything else for too long and I can't do the thing I used to do so easily. But, there are so many things are complicated for me right now and I'm trying to work it out. Even while writing this, I feel like crying and I want to, but I can't. I don't know how I'm even feeling right now. I'm angry, I hate myself, and I'm feeling sorry for myself. But at the same time, I know what I have to do, I know my worth, and I'm able to put a smile on my face, so I guess that means something. I have this friend group that I really like, and there's this girl in it that I really like too. However, another guy in the friend group likes her and he told her how he felt, and she said she wasn't ready for a relationship. Me and this girl are really close and she told me about this interaction and the fella told her that he would wait, but she doesn't want him to because she's worried that she won't choose him in the end. It made me feel better I guess? But, damn, I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous every time I saw them together. I find jealous to be an ugly emotion and I feel like a bad person every time that I'm feeling it because she's not even mine in the first place and I want to tell her so bad, but I feel like I would be creating an awkward and uncomfortable dynamic and environment for the group. I want to tell her how I feel, but I know that I'll probably get the same response as the other guy did. Shit, man, I've made my life into such an incomprehensible mess, I don't even know how I got here. This is the first time I've felt like this in such a long time, I've never hated myself and never thought that I was this bad of a person this much. I hope they both find happiness, but I want one of them to share that happiness with me, you know? Maybe this is why I can't cry. Hiding my feelings for too long. I can't even put into words how much I like her and how much I hate myself for not being able to tell her. Okay, now I can tell that I'm going in circles now. Just give me some advice, please? I'm at my wits end and I can't do this by myself anymore. I'm drowning and I don't have a door to climb on. I just need help. Please. | 3 |
How do you grieve someone who is still alive.. | This is going to be a big post but I need to tell my full story.
I am a 27 year old female who is super close with her family. I have lived with my parents because my mom is disabled and my dad only does side jobs to make money. So I have always stayed with them in order to help financially and like I said, we are close. We lived in a house for over 22 years and last year the landlord sold the house instead of paying for repairs. We had to move and had little to no time to find a new house. We got one in a new neighborhood. We have been there since March 2022. I love the new house and the neighborhood is nice, but that is until recently.
My dad is very friendly and loves talking to new people. He would walk our dog over 12 times a day. He meet pretty much everyone in the neighborhood. He made a lot of friends. Well a couple months ago, he started to change. He started becoming distant and I could see a change. He would hang out with this one girl and her two kids a lot! He would take her son out to do side jobs with him. For background context, him and my mom have been together for over 40 years. She was 13 and he was 19 when they got together. They have been married for over 15 years.
I expressed to him that I could see the changes and if he were to hurt my mom in anyway, I would cut him out of my life completely. He made it seem like we were jealous of this girl. He went as far as calling me petty, jealous, and a whore anytime I brought up the topic of him doing something with her. I told him that she was a whore and he needed to watch out.
Well, everything always comes out in the wash and sure enough he was having an affair with her. It started with him not answering any of our calls. There was one day I could him over 50 times and he didn’t answer and I called the hospitals and checked the jail records. To give context, he has some medical issues and he is older.
In all of my 27 years old living, he was always home for night. He started staying out until midnight, then 2am, then there was one day he didn’t come home until 8:30am. He was gone for over 12 hours and didn’t answer his phone that whole time. He had me so scared and nervous that something bad happen to him, but he was just up at her house that whole time.
He would still deny and fight it until he finally admit to my mom what happened but didn’t give her the full story. No one will ever know that beside him and God.
The man who I called dad is no longer in that body. He has changed so much that I don’t even know who he is. I see a stranger when I look at him. Growing up, I was a daddy’s girl and to still have him alive but also gone, is hurting me a lot. I have struggled for months because of this situation.
I am trying to be a backbone for my mom, but I am also grieving my living father. How do I do this? I have screamed, cried, tried to talk to him to let him know how I feel, but went through one ear and out the other.
It doesn’t help that Father’s Day is this weekend and he isn’t there anymore for me. He has no clue what is going on with my job, school, or personal life.
My mom had him removed from the house two days ago and he didn’t want to leave but he also doesn’t want to block the home wreckings number and tell her it’s over. It hurts because she lives down the street and I have to drive pass her house to go to work and seeing his truck in her driveway hit me like a wave of emotions today. I didn’t think it would, but it did.
I want to be strong for my mom, but I also want to give up and call it quits. I want to pack everything up I owe and just move states away and leave everyone behind. I would never tell my family this, but that is how I feel.
I think having a fresh start and starting my own life would be so freeing. But I could never do that. It’s nice to dream of though.
I know I will move past this, but time is the only thing that heals wounds.
Thanks for listening to me rant about my crazy life. I know people have bigger issues so I am trying to tell myself that I will be okay, but it just hurts.
I miss you dad and I love you no matter what but I just wish you would straighten up…. But I thinks it’s too late now. | 6 |
Im feeling desperate to kill myself, i just dont have the means to it still | I want to kill myself as i have no hope for my life, the only thing that is stopping me is that i dont have access to stuff that could kill me, i dont live in a tall building, i dont have access to guns, drugs, ive tried rope and cutting in the past but failed. There is no hope or future for me and things would probably get worst for me in the future, so thinking about suicide is the only thing that brings me hope. Being a female and especially an ugly one at that makes me suicidal. I will never find genuine love, at best i would be accepted into an abusive one who had no other choice so he had to settle with me. | 11 |
Giving up | So I feel as though I have nothing left to give in my relationship. He keeps coming home at an indecent hour and I tell him it’s crossing my boundaries but he doesn’t care. He says he does but then does it again. Actions are louder than words so I told him yesterday that I have nothing left to give in this relationship. I’m done crying and I’m done caring. I’m not leaving because I’m not gonna be the asshole breaking up our family when I’ve done nothing wrong. I feel like I’m trapped in a hell of my own making. I guess for the rest of my life I will always be sad. There’s no point anymore. He single handily destroyed all trust I ever had for him. I feel my love for him slowly drifting too.. this is depressing because I always thought he was my person. He told me last night he doesn’t want to lose me and that he wants his forever with me but I told him I don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore. I just feel lost and so fucking lonely. Thanks for reading, I just needed to vent to some strangers. | 1 |
So I confess to my female best friend (over 10 years), went bad | I confessed yesterday to my best friend, I had feelings for her over the 10 years. She came back from a trip and i thought she was going to tell me about a guy she met, so I told her no, I don't want to know because I have feelings for you. So I explained to her some things that have happened over the years. She then told me that she cant see me as another thing than her friend, she offers me to rethink it, and stay friends. But she told me dont get any hope, don't waste your time, don't try anything because it would only make her uncomfortable.
SO what I did was tell her that i offer her my distance so we can be good. I felt good for myself yesterday, for the courage but also for ending something that in the long road it was making me feel bad, I think this was my best course of action.
BUT today im sad that i might have lost her forever :C | 12 |
6 years finding you, I found you already but you don't like me for ? Reason | Actually I've never got cheated but actually I am the one who witness that guy cheating to his "lover" and that guy actually something relevant to me... ( I love that guy) | 2 |
If someone is an emotional/sensitive person would you say that makes them a failure or a less worthy human being? |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14az8h4) | 3 |
If youre looking for friends... | and have a discord we're A 21+ simple, social server based around well-being and creating a positive space for your mental well-being. Mental Health and Support Channels. Active Members and Staff. Gaming and Interest Channels. We'd be happy if you joined us! [https://discord.gg/rEc97WzTAQ](https://discord.gg/rEc97WzTAQ) | 2 |
I don't want to live anymore | I'm such a lonely loser. My parents consider me a mistake and a disappointment, I have no friends and I'm all alone. I can't even find the will to live anymore. I try to be positive and happy but what's the point of living if I'm an eyesore to everyone. I hate my life. I wish I could escape reality forever. I'm exhausted mentally and I can never escape from my thoughts. I want to run away from everything. I'm sick of fake smiling and pretending. I hate having hateful thoughts. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either. I wish I could get hit by a truck or get killed. I don't have the courage to do it to myself. Everyone wouldn't care if I died anyways. I never mattered to anyone. I'm better off dead than alive | 3 |
feeling defeated after my last relationship. | So my most recent relationship was almost a year and a half ago I'm a 20 year old male and my ex is a 18 year old female, we met back in 5th grade and were pretty good friend up until she made it to highschool with me and she was telling me that she didnt like her current boyfriend so I convinced her to leave him after she told me what he did and eventually we started dating and throughout our relationship we made each other happy until she started taking week long breaks from texting me and then her mother convinced her to break up with me after 7 months but we ended up back together after a few days of being single and we were happier than ever but she felt off so fast forward 4 months later and some of her friends were talking her that I'm dangerous and I'm not so I spent the better part of a couple hours crying to her to take me back she knew me better than her friends amd she eventually gave in and we were happy together again and 6 months later I found myself in the same situation again of her wanting to break up with me and I was sure it was because i walked back ti my house on halloween cus she ditched me to be with her friends even though we hadnt seen each other in a month because I was working but after halloween our relationship was at its worst she neglected to respond to texts she was very cold towards me and evetually she broke it off with me and said there will be time for us later. So i waited a whole year and asked her if she still wamted to get back together and she admitted to me she was a lesbian i saw the text in my notifications and it broke me so I blocked her on everything i deleted all pictures i had of her and any that we were together in i ripped up framed photos and deleted facebook and messanger (since that what we used to semd messages on) I know she knows that I haven't seen the text I never opend the app to read it but im sure she figured out I did because shes been trying to message me and im ignoring it I dont want anything to do with her. Theres alot more I wanted to include but I wanted to keep this shorter than it would've been and it took me a year and a half of beingnsingle to figure out she was abusing me mentally and emotionally. she left me feeling defeated and not being able to trust but I would like to have another girlfriend but I need time. | 1 |
I Had to kill my Favorite goose | I Work at a Farm and we got a bunch of babygeese. They hatched 3/4 weeks ago and there was one that was super cute and Always Ran straight to me when i Went into their enclosure.
Today it ( i dont know If it was Male/female) started to act weird and you could See that it gonna die.
My Boss told me to Put it down and now i'm heartbroken
RIP little friend | 3 |
Too fragile | I am way too sensitive for things, I don’t think no one will ever understand. Plus, I realized how much introvert I am. Just alone, not scared of what other people are gonna think, do, or say. Just me. Having my own safe space. | 2 |
What are you still sad for? Do something about it | You sit there still sad, not improving, and still no results, why? I genuinely believe that the people in this subreddit have grown comfortable in their own trials in life and want to feel comfort in their own sadness, by putting on that stress onto others. I'm going to be honest, spending all your time sad and wasting time being sad, you can direct that energy into DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It isn't efficient to try to become better alone. You need others to help you realize it is okay to break out of eternal sadness. It is better you get the motivation, the drive and the desire to improve by knowing someone else is trying to be better just as much as you are.
​
The sad lonely times are OVER. Watch the stream and you will see how you can change.
​
[https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1847221342](https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1847221342)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdhi6vVwsiM&t=3164s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdhi6vVwsiM&t=3164s) | 0 |
SHARING WITH THE PEOPLE OF REEDIT | Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John had experienced a devastating loss—the love of his life, his beloved wife Mary, had passed away. As I sit here with John, he shares his heartbreaking tale of love and loss.
John takes me to his living room, where we find him sitting alone on a worn-out couch. Surrounding him are photographs of Mary, each one holding a cherished memory. I can see the pain etched in his eyes as he begins to speak.
With a soft and trembling voice, John whispers, "It's been a year since Mary left this world. The pain of losing her still echoes in every corner of this house." His voice quivers with the weight of his sorrow.
In a flashback, we find ourselves in a hospital room. Mary lies in a frail state, with John holding her hand. Her voice is weak but filled with love as she says, "John, promise me that you'll be strong. Life... it can be cruel, but you have to keep going." John, overcome with tears, can only respond with his deep affection for her.
We move to the kitchen, where John stands surrounded by Mary's favorite recipes. He gazes at them with a mix of nostalgia and grief, his hands trembling as he remembers the joy they shared while cooking together. "You used to be the heart of this home, Mary," he whispers. "Your laughter filled every room. How can I go on without you?"
Night falls, and we enter their bedroom. John lies on the bed, clutching Mary's pillow tightly. Tears stream down his face as he says, "Your scent still lingers on this pillow, Mary. I miss your warmth, your gentle touch. Life feels empty without you."
Days pass, and we find John walking through a park. He sees couples and families, their happiness a bittersweet reminder of what he has lost. Through teary eyes, he whispers, "We used to come here, hand in hand, enjoying the beauty of nature. Now, it's just a reminder of what I've lost."
A visit to the graveyard brings us to Mary's resting place. John stands before her gravestone, tenderly placing fresh flowers. His voice trembles as he speaks, "I visit you every day, my love. But no matter how many tears I shed, it can't bring you back. The silence is deafening without your voice."
Returning to the living room, John sits on the couch, his grief palpable. But amidst the pain, a flicker of determination emerges. He declares, "Mary, I will honor your memory by living a life worthy of the love we shared. Though you're gone, your spirit will guide me through the darkest days."
In a flashback to happier times, John and Mary walk hand in hand along a serene beach, waves crashing against the shore. Mary's voice is sincere as she says, "John, if anything ever happens to me, promise me you'll find happiness again. I want you to live, to find joy even in the depths of sorrow." Tearfully, John promises to carry her love with him, guiding him toward a brighter tomorrow.
As we return to the present, I see a glimmer of hope in John's eyes. He takes a deep breath, slowly rising from the couch. With a gentle whisper, he says, "Farewell, my love. Though the pain of your absence is unbearable, I'll carry your love in my heart. And one day, when the time is right, I'll embrace life again, knowing that you'll always be by my side."
​ | 1 |
Just turned older than my best friend | Never thought he’d have me in my bed crying my fucken eyes out.
All those good times and memories leave me nothing but pain now.
I fucken miss you bro
For those lost souls please never drink and drive, people always loves you take care of yourself and reach out when you need help. | 74 |
Sad day everyday. haha | It is what it is. | 2 |
Idk what to feel | I caught feelings for a friend and told them, they handled it well and still talk to me which is great. But when I've asked how they feel its so all over the place. It's let's stay friends, if it happens it happens, I like you but don't want to lose our friendship etc., I understand that fear but I worry it's just to protect me rather than tell me the truth, but they are always honest with me so idk. When I share couple related post with them it's received well. I just want to know if I'm stupid or being used, it hurts to see them post about wanting to be with someone but I'm never considered as an option it feels like. I truly love them but I worry I'm just hurting myself by trying still but I can't drop it like it's nothing. Sorry for rambling I just hope to maybe get outside opinions or something. I guess I should mention I'm not experienced I've only had one partner in highschool but it was short lived | 3 |
Humans are fickle. | Normally I teach older kids, high school and middle school. But currently I’m teaching elementary school kids and it’s been kind of depressing. For the most part all I see are young, innocent, radiant, and beautiful little beings. They’re full of life and they want to tell you anything and everything. They look up at you with so much love and trust… but then they grow into teenagers/young adults. We become so fickle as we age. And maybe it’s not us, maybe it’s the conditions of the world around us that makes us fickle. But I find it really sad that we start off so wonderful just to grow into what we are. Maybe that’s not true for everybody but I’ve got teenagers with parole officers that fail my class because they refuse to do anything, meanwhile their little brother is painting a happy picture of their family at school and telling me how many dogs they have… when you take a step back and look at the full picture it’s sad, and you realize how fickle things are. | 3 |
Drowning myself in the ocean | Gona go head and do it in a couple days. Plan is to get tipsy leave a note and take the bus to the nearest ocean. Just stand there for a bit enjoy the breeze last time and just go with the waves. The only reason I wrote this here just to let people know that life is worthless there is no purpose.i hate how the system works i hate religions I hate existing I hate everyone I fucking hate why god created us not like I believe but there must be something out there I don't fucking know and don't care at all. To all those people who are thinking to end it are not wrong imagine how much it hurts now and then compare it to how ul feel in future it will keep on getting worse trust me guys there's no cure therapy doesn't help tried that currently on meds that doesn't help either friends motivated me but that shit just went through my head my close relatives everyone I literally tell people I'm depressed not to gain sympathy but just to plant the idea I to their useless brains that I took this action telling that I had a condition planning my shit out so people don't question each other it's all my fault everything is my fault I put myself in this position but dying is the only thing that gives me comfort so I'm doing it sry u had to read this but gotta let it out somewhere UK wht I mean. | 4 |
Broken after the best friend ditched me | After the relocation, I was alone. Then I found a friend. In a short period of time, he became my best friend. He was entirely different than me. I would say sort of toxic like never appreciating, never supportive and never prioritize me over other things or himself. I used to accept that all, as I got only one friend. He spreaded sort of negativeness to me like not to be friend with others, taking cigarette etc. I was lost my self identity, self esteem and color of life. I loved him like my brother. I did support him on his tough time, stayed there not to let him feel alone.
One day I was too depressed and asked help from him. As expected, rather, he was too rude to me and made fun of me when I needed his support the most. I was too broken after this. I stopped all communication to him. I was expecting him to say sorry or at least asking me “are you okay?” - that’s all. Now, he is not talking to me either. Seems like we are strangers now. It was too tough to accept from a close one, I have started seeing a therapist.
Again, I left with loneliness but with greater self esteem, confidence and personal identity. I miss hanging around with him. But I don’t want to get back to the friendship either. I just can’t accept how someone be too rude on that critical moment and forgets. Now, I afraid to be friend with someone. | 9 |
I'll kill myself soon | I don't even know why I'm saying this, it's not like anyone can change my mind | 25 |
I’ll never be able to have her | I’ve tried multiple times and it just never works out, I just wish she knew how much I loved her but my bipolar disorder makes me do mean things to her. I feel terrible and at the same time I wish I could be happy with her. I love you Vanessa :( | 2 |
Sad but true story | I’m so sick of being a rehabilitation center for men. Obviously no one starts a relationship under those pretenses. Everything was great. I trusted him completely, he told me his secrets and I told him mine. We loved every moment we spent together. He said he didn’t talk to his ex anymore. She cheated on him, they still have mutual friends but he isn’t her friend. That’s what he said. Then I saw her name pop up on his phone. The contact photo features black lingerie. I should have run far and fast.
I made it to the bathroom. Locked it and stuck my finger down my throat to release the sick I felt coming on. He came in concerned with the reassurance of an angel until I told him why. He was mad. They were just aquatints. They text some. There is nothing going on. He lies meanly. Already threatening me to not believe him, and so I do.
She calls later to ask how to fix a beeping smoke detector. I don’t say much. My heart just sinks.
He starts to ignore me. Christmas break was the worst. I sat in my childhood bedroom waiting for him to give me anything to show he loved me like he once did. My tears turned to anger and I lashed out. I asked how he was enjoying his break. In her city. Maybe he brought her lingerie from that box in the closet back to her. She had him so I let him go.
For a few weeks he has me fooled though. They never had anything, she was dating another man. I believed all the lies and begged his forgiveness for not trusting him. I get held at arms distance. They get together now. Not even warning me first he puts up a post of a happy date on a trail. It kills me but I was right. Or was I? I confronted him and he says it just started. After the breakup I initiated.
They’re are over quickly. He blames her. I try to move on and get assaulted in a truck. I needed his comfort. Why was this guy that shattered my heart the one I wanted to hold my traumatized body. He was taking shrooms, possibly experiencing empathy for the first time. We talked things out. He never told me truth but it was enough for me to want to start over with him. He takes things fast this time. We moved in together after a summer and get engaged shortly after.
I still thought about his ex. Wondering if he missed her. If he ever called her. If I was the family friendly safe bet as a wife and she was the alluring siren that he let slip away. He tells me it was toxic and I don’t protest.
Last week I went through his phone. I learned the truth. He apologized and cried. Saying he never saw himself living a good and clean life until me. He needs me. I’ve somehow changed him in the past year and he isn’t that same person who hurt me. Who lied and manipulated me over and over. He let one line slip though. It didn’t happen till after I got upset over the texting. He resented me for one “accusation”. And then did that to me. I can’t sus out a good “why” from him tho because he doesn’t feel connected to the version of him he was then.
Looking back I see what he means. I taught him to communicate boundaries. To identify triggers and give/ take space. We’ve been better than ever till I looked at his phone. I’m undecided on what to do. We have an expensive venue booked for over a year from now. Without meaning to I taught a bad boy how to love. But is this what I deserve? Is there even better? Every man I have dated cheats. This one at least will go to therapy now and work on himself. Ugh men just kinda suck. | 5 |
I'm not the same anymore | Eversince my friend died I've not been doing well, it's really hard for me to socialize and move on. | 5 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.