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Am I English or not? | I was born and raised in England but I’m not white nor am I an Anglo Saxon. I’m sad because people think I’m not English because of my skin colour and how I look and also people say only Anglo Saxons can be English and they say English is an ethnicity only. I’m not ethnically English. My ethnicity is Pakistani. My mum is born and raised in Pakistan but she’s lived in England longer than she’s lived in Pakistan. I’d class her as British but not English because she was born and raised in Pakistan but ultimately her identity is her choice. My dad is born and raised in England but he’s brown like me and his ethnicity is also Pakistani. Personally I’d say I’m British and English. English because I was born and raised in England and British because England is part of Britain | 2 |
I wish i liked someone | I wish someone liked me i feel so empty | 6 |
What did you do that you didn't tell to anyone? | When I was in couple I was the kind of guy to be known as mean and selfish. People would affirme that I would laugh at people who needed help. One time I was hanging out with my bf, we were going to the store to buy some staff with his money. He said that half of it was for me so I was happy to spend it and was not gonna give him a cent. When we walked past a first store I saw a poor man asking for money, I really wanted to keep mine but I felt like I didn't need anything really. I gave him all my money I had, my bf was shoked and the poor man looked at me and said thank you with a big smile. Idk why but from this day to now I always decided to give my money to people like them first, I just became like that. I never told anyone why they all thaught I was becoming crazy or sum. | 1 |
Relapsed After 3 Months Clean, After Having A Panic Attack | Last night at around 12AM I texted one of my best online friends, we talk everyday and have a group chat that has 3 other really good friends in it.
The text was basically went like this “HELP THERES A SPIDER ON ME”
“OH MY GOD IM GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK” (I’m prone to having them)
Basically I was looking for her to calm me down or atleast comfort me but instead she replies back “BRUH IM TRYNA HAVE A CONVERSATION QUIT” and ignores me for the rest of the night. This sended me into a depressive state because I felt like my feelings were invalid. I then SHed for the first time in three months.
My friend is almost a year clean and gets easily triggered.
I love my best friend and want to tell her how she made me feel but I don’t know how to approach this. I haven’t talked in the group chat at all today and she hasn’t messaged me at all today. I’m looking for advice.. | 1 |
i just don’t understand | everything seems to just pile on lately you know? my schooling, not being able to sleep, friendship issues, it’s all just coming to a head simultaneously. It all seems unfair.
My friend group all seems to have something to hide from others and im starting to really worry that it might not last much longer, although I really hope in doesnt turn out that way. I have a couple people that I am really close with and would trust them with my life, but the rest are just really shady and seem quite selfish. I’ll provide an example.
My friend (15F) (im 15M by the way) has really struggled with relationship issues. She has almost a crippling fear of being alone forever romantically, and just came off of having a pretty bad relationship in which both her and her boyfriend weren’t faithful. My friend, who we will call A, is my longest friend and we have stayed together throughout middle school and going into high school. We have been together through about 3 friend groups. I love A with all my heart (not as like a crush dw) and I trust her with anything and I would do anything to help her out. She has this shady friend (15M) who we will call B. B from my point of view quite almost selfish and I also think that he would like to be in a relationship with A, and this has been proven as even when he was in a relationship he proclaimed his love for her. We will come back to this later.
About 2 months ago A came to me with a question on whether we could kiss as she really wanted to get that off your mental, which I understood as from prior conversations she has made it clear that she really wanted this first kiss, like really bad , and it got to the point where she would bring it up every single day. And it got quite annoying, but that’s not the point. I agreed to this as I was struggling with the same problem just not to her level, nowhere near. So here i was freaking out because my self confidence was to put it lightly in the mud, so I thought that this was such a big deal to her and I couldn’t mess it up, i spent like an hour every day trying to find tips on how to kiss properly and all that. she then went on a trip to Europe and I assumed that it would happen after that.
After the trip to Europe
I had tried to talk to A every day while she was in Europe as a little goal because she wasn’t very happy in of itself. And hopefully anything I can do will help.
My stress levels have started to each a peak. It’s affecting my schooling to the point where I can’t get out of bed to get there. My attendance has dropped to a low 30 percent and as of now still hasn’t gone up she has now said that she realised over Europe that she wanted to have a real relationship again before her first kiss. She wanted to feel that love and make it special which is something I truly get, it’s just I’m still struggling because I do want to have my first kiss and her telling me that has made me realise that which has put so much more stress on me and my confidence. anyway B decided to get really mad at A because apparently all this kissing stuff was cheating even though they had already broken up. Now i don’t now whether is was just jealousy or I don’t know some other reason especially considering he confessed to A while in a relationship. And now A is scared that she shouldn’t have talked to me r that she’s gonna lose a friend and I’m freaking out because i don’t want B mad at me either and all just ugh why can’t everyone just chill out oh my days.
lil rant sorry first post and idrk how this stuff works but hi bye thanks heaps if you read
I’ll post and update or something if I can do that here if something happens
P.S. A is a real people pleaser like she won’t even block people if they ask her for nudes because they will get mad at or something 💀 | 4 |
Suffering | Sleeping through hunger is so hard. My life is a living hell | 1 |
reliant on alcohol to make me more sociable | before every social event/gathering i go to i make sure to take a few shots of alcohol to "relax" and talk with people easier. i feel intense guilt for not being sociable enough, rarely in the span of 2 months i will be super sociable and talk with anybody however now is just not it. took me a while to realize that alcohol reacts differently on everybody and in this case it makes me a dizzy and depressed mess 🐵 | 1 |
Why can’t I feel .. | I want to cry I want to hurt but I can’t feel . I can feel sometimes. Please help . Im very sad but i can’t feel .. I can feel sometimes but I can’t feel.. | 3 |
No one cares if I live or not | No one in this world cares about anything. They are here for their own selfish purpose.
I feel so alone in this world. I feel like a joke. | 7 |
Feeling Hopeless after not getting into college | I am not exactly a genius, but I am an average student. But recently I couldn't even get into a private college. I was counting on it tbh. I even took a gap year. But now I can't apply anywhere else because I have missed the deadline of other colleges. Some context, I'm from an Asianfamily.I know it's my fault but show some fake kindness atleast. | 2 |
Imagine Reddit just being the only place you can be yourself because your filtering yourself through different apps and your exhausted | Ya know? Idk just high thoughts at 11:58 pm | 12 |
I want to commit suicide | i'm 18, and i don't know what to do, there's so many problems with me and with my life, i'm currently failing education and most likely won't be able to go to college unlike everyone else, i'll disappoint my family with this last thing they're counting on me with.
i'm an addict, it's the only way i find comfort, the brain fog doesn't go away, i can't think or remember anything, i don't know what to do
the only emotions i've been consistently feeling every single day for the past two years are anxiety and guilt, i feel like i'm at the end of the road, i don't want to fail but i'm going to, there's not enough time.
i never felt like my life had any purpose, i don't know why i get up every morning or do anything | 4 |
Discord server for venting, getting support and advice | I call it the safe space, as it should be a safe space and positive environment for everyone to receive advice, support, and much more.
Also, just a heads up that it’s only for those looking for a supportive environment and not anything inappropriate, I’ve had one or two instances where people joined and started pming others and harassing them, just wanted to make that clear. Nothing wrong with relationships but no harassment is tolerated, tysm! | 1 |
Hace un año que rompi con mi pareja por infidelidad sufrí un cambio horrendo... No tengo autoestima no hago lo que antes me apasionaba hacer... | Tengo 21 años perdí ami pareja por infidelidad hace un año y no puedo superar ami ex... Sufri tanto que vengo de una relación en la que sufrí dependencia emocional se me desarrollo la ansiedad y ataques de anciedad ustedes saben como es toda esa mrd... Llegué en un momento en la que deje de comer no me daban ganas de hacer ejercicio que era lo que mas me apasionaba desarrolle la adiccion por el cigarro... Ahora no puedo dejarlo, me la paso enserrado en mi cuarto sin hacer actividades, mas que ir a la universidad... Le dedico tiempo ami celular todo el día... Bueno sigo con la historia, Lo peor de todo es que estamos en la misma universidad... No ahi dia que despierte y despierte pensando en ella... De verdad no hayo que hacer... No dejo de oensar en ella en sierto tiempo, no tengo chicas que les guste, nadie me habla... Y mi unica opcion para hacer que se me olvide es undiendome en el alcohol... Acudi a un psicólogo sin embargo este... No me hizo de gran ayuda por mas que me alientaba... Que creen que ocupe para superar a mi ex... De verdad estoy agotado triste sin autoestima... No me puedo perdonar en errores que cometí en la relación soy foráneo vivo solo... Y la soledad me traga... En mi universidad nadie me junta como amigo... Todo me sale mal... Me propongo que hare ejercicio y al poco tiempo dejo de hacerlo... No entiendo que me pasa sinseramente no puedo llorar... nadamas cuando ando en los efectos del alcohol... Me volvi mas duro con las personas... No hayo mas que hacer por favor denme ideas... Para salir adelante... Porque de verdad ya no hayo que hacer masss no me puedo dar amor propio por mas que quieraaa, lo que me mantiene vivo ahorita son mis padres por ellos sigo en la universidad... A pesar que los tengo lejos😪 me siento destrozado me siento asqueroso... Engorde... Perdi ese físico que tenía con mi progreso de gym.... Porfavor necesito ayuda gente de Reddit :( | 3 |
Someone to talk to | This is like kinda a last hope for me. I’m 23 female. And wanted to see if there was anyone that just wanted to talk. I’ve been going through so much lately and I just need someone to rant to, I’ll probably get a lot of hate for this. I’m also a really great friend and have open ears to listen as well. I just feel so alone. | 5 |
I hate roblox now | Roblox used to be happy and fun now its all toxic | 0 |
Have to use CPR for the first time declared deceased at the scene not medical personnel | I'm not a medical professiona. Someone collapsed in front of me. The emergency medical technicians came they checked his vitals. And they declared person I was performing CPR on dead. I tried my best but I'm still sad about it. | 2 |
I got into a collage and my family doesn't care | I got into MSU. It's been my goal in school since I was 8. Now it has finally happened and no one cares. My mom handed me the letter and before I could even ask "Do you think I got in?" She had already walk out my bedroom door and was on the couch look for something to watch. I called both my sister's over the phone to tell them. One said "that's cool" and hung up. The other said "ok and?" And proceeded to tell me that it dose not matter that I actually got in. All that matters is if I pass college.
So to all you people I don't know I got into MSU :,) | 60 |
I can't deal with my bad luck in life lately | Only the work of a supernatural force or of a God can manipulate my life so badly in so many ways in a row without a break. A bit of background:
I come from an extremely wealthy family and live in a nice home, I am home for the summer as a 19 year old college student. I am lucky to not have to pay my own tuition and that parents do everything they can to give me the best life possible. And I can still manage to do really well in school despite how everything else in my life is going. I find school easy and even engineering level classes just seem like child's play for now.
However, despite all of these things, the world just isn't on my side lately. It hasn't been in over three years if I really think about it. A little bit more you need to know about me:
I have an absurdly high(like off the charts high) heart rate, bad allergies, horrible genetics for endurance, lifting, sleeping, resting, and just about anything. I'm really short for a guy, everyone elderly in my family has some form of heart issues or metabolic disorders or obesity. I am basically a lab created model of fucked. I probably have a really bad life expectancy. But that's far from the issues right now.
I cannot do anything. Anxiety and my uncontrollable need to be the best at everything I set my mind out to do combined with my bad luck on the genetics has made me so upset and depressed. I have failed at everything I have tried to be good at. Sports, lifting, video games, social skills, everything. Even just feeling like I have some sense of belonging. All of it has gone to shit.
It does not help that it feels like a God is out to get me(I am not religious). My life gets interfered with in the most unlucky ways possible and at only the worst possible times, the times where I need it to not get fucked. I get so close to achieving something and immediately something ruins it, or the hard work that I continue to put in becomes counter intuitive and hurts me. I rely on porn and other behaviors that are damaging to people just to feel good sometimes.
I also struggle from significant disconnect from my family. The rest of my family(extended family too) are all super religious. Now I have no problem with people who are religious but religion is not for me. The reason for me is simple logic like "If God saves all those who accept Jesus as the savior, then why are there Christians being slaughtered in school shootings, being burned alive, being killed by drunk drivers at night, etc". But this disconnect from my family makes it feel like sometimes I can't even feel comfortable around them, and it also makes me think that they have a negative impression of me as an adult going against the family.
Now, although I feel like I don't fit in and that I struggle with social skills, I still feel like I have some things going for me. I have a small group of somewhat close friends. Who knows what they really think of me. I still can exercise, laugh, and try to have a good time when I need to. I just want to be free of this mess. I want to experience the Eren Yaeger freedom panel IRL(minus the genocide part). I want to feel true joy. HMU to talk or if anyone can relate.
EDIT: Also worth mentioning that I am not a suicidal person. I have no intention of ever going down that route. I've seen friends go down that route and the trauma that it causes for me, friends, and especially their families. It is awful. I just want to get my life and my luck back on my feet. Thanks. | 2 |
I'm alone | My friends aren't responding, I'm constantly being left on seen for hours at a time and my family is disrespectful and always makes me feel uncomfortable
I'm alone | 7 |
Live is sad | I have no motivation to hold a job the girl I wanted to spend my life with dumped me .I lost all self esteem I have goles and anbeshin but I needed my compuse I feel so alone the only one I ever trusted is gone and now I'm just a sack of flesh an bone y do we have feelings that hurt us so | 1 |
The bathing suit | Today i tried on a bathing suit. I haven’t worn an actual bathing suit in a year or two.. i felt so insecure. I’m 5’3 and 150 lbs. i don’t really look like it, but i almost cried as i looked in the mirror wearing my tight bathing suit. Most of my fat is in my ass and some in my chest. I do have a little belly fat but as a kid i was heavy. I’m 13 and feeling this insecure is actually so annoying. I wish beauty standards wasn’t a thing because i hate my body. I just hate it so much, i hate how i have hip dips and barely any curves, i hate how i look like a box, i hate how one boob is a little smaller than the other, i hate how big my thighs are. I hate my body, and i know i shouldn’t but i do. When i was a kid i got rejected by a boy. I was 7 in 3rd grade and i confessed to that boy i liked, and his rejection was because i was simply, “too fat” i cried in the playground that day. I hid behind the slides and i cried. My first rejection, and it broke me. I started looking up work out videos AT SEVEN YEARS OLD AND I DID THEM. I DID THEM EVERYDAY. and as i didn’t see a change i gave up. I didn’t know why i had to be so damn fat, everytime i look at younger photos i cringe at how ugly and overweight i used to be. Why are beauty standards like this? Why does my mind make me think i’m so fat. But you know what i did, i got the bathing suit and i know for sure i’m gonna wear that damn bathing suit no matter what anyone thinks. Because this is my life, and my body, and my mind. So i may cry because of my body but it’s okay, because you can cry but you’ll always stop crying at some point. so i’ll just try to stick with my body and i’ll try to love my body. | 2 |
Waves of sadness | I thought getting my masters would mean I would be getting more job offers but it’s been a year and so far I only had a temp job which lasted for 3 months. During the temp job, I started off good but then started making some mistakes and my mgr would make me feel so bad about. I would be working from home just breaking down.
So now I’m working in retail, I’m trying to remain optimistic but these days it’s been really hard. I’ve been really questioning my purpose in life and just feeling like I haven’t accomplished shit at 26.
To make matters worse, my best friend at my retail job is quitting. I feel a range of emotions. I feel like “damn she’s leaving before me. Im gonna be so lonely” but then I feel like a shitty friend bc she’s been nothing of supportive to me and is a really good friend and worker, and I shouldn’t want her to be stagnant but I just feel left behind…again.
I might cry later bc I’m gonna miss working with her. | 1 |
Is it just me or | To me lately life is like an old game I don't want to get rid of it as sometimes I want to play it bur most the time I would rather not | 3 |
My sad life | I've gone to far into the games and I want to come back from it but I don't know how. I know if I stopped I would make more friends and mavbe even get a girlfriend. But I'm just to scared. What if it doesn't work and I'm rejected by girls and others won't even accept me as a friend. What if when I leave the games, the friendships I have now will dissolve and I lose them. If left the games I would contribute much more to society, but with all this time all alone, what if I've forgotten how to talk to others and keep a good conversation. I'm just so tired of all thes problems. They probobly seem dumb to you and make me seem like a loser.
I had a girlfriend once before. I felt it was gonna last a long time but after while she said she wanted to go back to being friends. I cried for two days. I felt like an outcast.Recently she started talking to me a bit more which made me happy but I still like her, but I don't think she likes me back, I've been thinking about texting her or something like that, or I sometimes think she's just messing with me.
After she broke up with me is when me playing my games spiral out of control. Right now, I listen to gif asmr on YouTube just to feel like I'm loved. I'm scared to talk to her again. Thank you to the people who read all of this. I hope I can do better | 1 |
Sad news and this is like the beginning of 2019 all over again and sometimes wish I can get away from reality.😥 | My grandpa got put into the hospital yesterday and he's still there this evening when I went to visit him in the ICU it was... just so sad it was emotional for me and my dad and the rest of my family.
I mean grandpa already lost his wife (My Grandma) back in 2019 which was January 9th (Which was four days before my 25th birthday),When I went and saw him this evening they said he wasn't doing so good and when me and my dad were leaving we said "bye" to grandpa and me and my Dad burst into tears and my aunt is spending the night at the hospital cause the doctors and nurses said "He probably won't live through the night.😢
Earlier when I was in the parking on my way inside the hospital I saw this guy loading his kid who was crying in his truck and he was telling him to "lay down" and he threaten the kid saying "You want a whooping" and I said "How about I give you a whooping"😡
I walked away luckily I didn't get into a fight and I burst into tears.😭
I just can't deal with that kind of pain right now.
I hate how we lose beloved family members and people are mean to there children.
Ugh this is why I hate real life stuff happening like this and....I just want things to get better.😿 | 1 |
Genetic Disease | Just found out from family that there is a 50% chance that I have a genetic disease that could take years or decades off of my lifespan. I'm only 18 years old I don't even know how to deal with this kind of stress. | 3 |
Please help, I don’t see the reason to live. | help, please. | 1 |
Got rejected once again, please say something good. I can’t sleep. | I don’t see the point where I am going to be happy. Please save me. | 1 |
Be as brutally honest as you like-Would you say anyone who suffers with a mental illness is inherently weaker/"less strong" than other people? | At this point I genuinely can't tell anymore if there are genuinely some people who completely dont have any mental health conditions that they suffer with, or if every single person in the world has equally shit/difficult mental health or a mental health condition but they are just better at hiding it than others. It feels odd because in one sense I feel like the world we live in today is very open to mental illness and sympathy for other people's struggles(for example if I've been upset in public, people have sometimes genuinely wanted to check I am okay/visibly seemed upset that I looked sad) but then other times it still feels like people are quite cold and unempathic towards mental health for example a couple of times I have been out in town and I've had an anxiety attack and someone has kind of given me a dirty/judgemental look.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/149dylj) | 3 |
Would you class going into hospital for surgery for self harm as being trauma? | If I'm honest I feel a shit tonne of guilt around what happened because it always feels like even though I know I was emotionally unwell/unwell in a mental health and anxiety sense, I feel like I was the only person who hit myself(more specifically it was an eye self harm injury) and it's a sense of feeling guilty because I feel like because it was mental health related that I could have just not done that to myself. Half the time I feel like I don't really think about it that often but then the other half of the time it makes me feel quite uncomfortable/upset/a bit of a "shaky" feeling when I think back to autumn/winter 2011 when my mental health was probably at its darkest time which was when i went to hospital for surgery along with some other hospital self harm/mh related visits which were quite intense as well. But I feel like it must be affecting me emotionally and there must still be some element of fear around what happened because if I kind of replay memories from that time like when I was on the hospital trolley having the anaesthesia mask placed over my face before I had surgery, it makes me kind of feel weird thinking about it
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/149kvab) | 1 |
I don't know what to do | my 3 week old puppy passed away, he remained under the heavy board. I'm shaking, he was my antistress, he always fell asleep in my arms, only he calmed me down after a hard day, I died inside with him, rest in peace my little innocent angel... | 2 |
School can really be sad sometimes. | Once upon a time i was in 2nd grade. I had really no friends except for this one kid. We had the same name that we will say is Noah. We would do like EVERYTHING together and he even urged me to become more social. During the year kids were spreading a rumor that he was gonna leave school and live somewhere else. So naturally i was very curious and asked him if that was true. He said yes. But i persisted, asking him more and more. Until at the end of the year when he said no (To this day i perceive this as him calming me down). Then end of the year comes summer vacation bla bla bla and school starts again. I try to see if he is anywhere, searching the playground and asking any and every one if he is in they're class. And they all say the exact same words. He Is Gone. I didn't believe it so I kept on searching. TO NO PREVAIL. I was basically going through the 5 stages of grief. And so i got new friends. It was very hard as i basically needed to start my life over again. I did become more social and i think he was the main reason. Thank you for your time and have a great day. | 1 |
Generally would you say almost everyone with anxiety, is more emotional/sensitive than the average person? |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/149e3uv) | 2 |
My Grandma | my grandpa told me what happened to my real grandma.
He was in a coma from COVID and when he woke up he found out that his wife died from COVID a day earlier (he was in a coma for 3 months), he last saw her when he fainted and woke up to her dead. 😢 | 5 |
i farted | 😥😣😐🙄😪😫🤐😒😓😔😔 | 0 |
No mom, its not the mental illness, I really don't love you. | I hate my parents so much, genuinely. My dad makes sly comments everyday that upset me for no reason, he'll go on random rants about how I'll never amount to anything and he won't stop even if I start crying. I've learned not to cry anymore though. My mom sits there and does nothing at all, She'll tell me that's just how he is. I really feel like sometimes she has the mentality of a child, she can never get serious even when I need her most. I've grown to hate them both and I'll lash out sometimes. Sometimes if I'm upset and I know its not right but I'll tell her I don't love her at all and that really is the truth. She always convinces herself "it's my mental illness talking" but its not. Its just me. Sometimes I feel like an asshole but then I remember moments where a stranger can hug me and feel more like a parent to me in seconds. I'm just really done with it all. I've only ever wanted somebody to REALLY love me, instead of whatever it is my parents feel about me. | 10 |
Not being in my boyfriend's special day (graduation) |
I feel so sad I can feel it churn my stomach. I am overjoyed for my boyfriend because today he graduated college.
My boyfriend and I are longdistance so it is unfortunate i cannot travel because of work.
I feel out of place. And really sad. I wish I was there. I feel like I am not even an omportant thing or maybe he does not care. He is celebrating with family and friends right now.
I feel like throwing up and crying. | 1 |
:( wow | That’s crazy I reach out for help and no one cares | 10 |
Masturbating to kill myself | My mum blames me for everything wrong in the house, for example, one of my siblings or someone has pored something down my big brothers Xbox, being the way she is, she blames me. But it’s not all her fault because When I was younger I did silly stuff, but when I grew older and more mature, bad thing still happen, so they blame it on me and say “who else would of done it” and I’m sick of it. Also I’m a diabetic, so I have insulin to bring my blood sugar down, so I went down stairs and jabbed my self with 15u of insulin, which equals about 150g of carbs, but my blood sugar was already so high it didn’t bring it down enough. So I think, if I jack off my bloods will go down. I know that from experience.
I just want to say a final goodbye to the world before I jack off to kill my self. | 6 |
I feel like crap now | (For context it’s not fully bad)
My mums fiancé probably won’t be Albert to see his real kids for fathers dad. So me and my brothers went out and bought him a few things. When we got home I put them all in a big with a label thing on that you can write who it’s from. So I’m writing me and my brothers and dogs and sisters’ name and I had an idea. I wanted to write his children’s name on the label so I’ve finished writing them and now I feel like crap because just knowing that his children won’t be there is breaking my heart and I know it’s already broke his heart ( he hasn’t had a Father’s Day for 2 years) | 1 |
Whats my purpose | Im 16 turning 17 and a male My life has been awful basically from the start, my dad isn’t here my mom is verbally abusive and makes me hate myself, my stepdad is an ass to me, my siblings all hate me and tell me to kill myself, i have friends but not friends, no one asks how I’m doing no one asks to do anything, I’ve been in the hospital for attempted suicide once and a treat another time, im just a waste of space my mom wont let me drive because she doesn’t wanna waste money, I don’t see myself going anywhere in life, I’m not good at school or sports, i just wanna do music always, I cut my legs with a razor at-least once a month, i feel so worthless, i really feel so alone, I’m a pot head, everyone hates me, my moms disappointed in me, i don’t really see the purpose in living, everyday sucks unless I’m with her, Im sorry this is all over the place my heads not right i apologize to everyone i let down. | 4 |
Looking at femboys makes me cry | Yyyyyeah... This is really embarassing to admit, but since im such a crybaby looking at pics or vids of femboys (NSFW or not) makes me so sad at the point of crying because they remind me of how i will never be cute and loved like them since im unlovable and ugly af so i cant be a femboy, but welp nothing can be about it so i just gotta live with that constant reminder. | 7 |
Im so exhausted | So fuckin exhausted | 2 |
This is my suicide note. | So I'm done.
I don't know when exactly this happened, or exactly when I made this decision, but I've known for a good while now it's what I want to do without any doubt.
I'm disabled, worthless, unable to be loved and this world watches as my disability has lefte unable to work and feed myself. Laughing while I starve alone in my home with no power. It does not care if I die, nobody does, so why should I?
I haven't been good enough for my family, or my partner. I haven't been good enough for any friends I've ever had, each of which has left without fail time and time again.
As a result today is the day I end my life. I planned to have one last meal and do it, but with no food I'm not even allowed that luxury, so instead I'm off in to the woods near here and hanging myself in the next few hours with a long cable I've found hidden away in my drawers.
I want anyone that reads this afterwards to know that it's blissful knowing there is a way out, and that I'm truly at peace and happy with this decision and it's the correct one for me. Don't think I made this decision out of desperation, I didn't, it's truly the best option for me and I'm happy doing so the way this world currently is.
I also want to say goodbye to my partner, Raven, and to say I'm truly sorry to you and you alone for this. I love you more than anything but I can no longer go on the way things are without my boy, and alone constantly unless you're here with me. You made me so happy in so many ways, you're truly the only bright spark I had left and I love you so fucking much
Goodbye world, goodbye everyone else, and good riddance. | 0 |
R/cats is gone and I miss my kitty dose | omgg I can’t use reddit, I try to comment on a comunnity I really really love(r/books) and the app closes down, or either just won’t let me comment. I can’t even imagine that I could have got banned because I didn’t did anything wrong or offensive.(probably I commented on like 3 posts since I joined the community and that’s it)
I am sad too because the r/cats cute kitty widget is now gone, which is extremely sad lol. what else am I supposed to do everyday now that I wake up and wanna see something cozy that turns up the mood 🥹😿 | 4 |
Scared of change | Leaving the place I grew up in since I was born. Most of my family is here and everything I know. And I’m about to be leaving in the morning to a different state in the south. Totally different from where I am. I’m from the city in the west. Might I add it’s only temporary but still. I feel this hole in my chest. I’m a be with people I know of course I’m not going alone. But still does feel like I am. Just having bad anxiety about the whole situation. Can’t even sleep. | 1 |
Was walking down my street yesterday with a smile on my face. | Then all of a sudden I walk past a 4 year old little girl, and her parents grabbed her and said stay away from the bad man (I’m 15 and male). What kind of role does that teach your kid. | 7 |
How do I know if I have depression or just very sad? | Basically I got dumped by a girl who I had a crush on for 2 years after 9 days (yes, fucking nine days) of being in a relationship. On top of that, I feel like a dissapointment to my parents, I just suck up money from their bank account and do nothing else but play video games, I am productive in no way. I have been very close to suicide, and the only thing that prevented that is the exsitance of my little brother. I cant sleep for weeks (currently its 4am in my country) and I constantly feel like shit for no reason. My question is, am I really depressed or just extremly sad. I dont want to just go around self-diagnosing myself with mental health issues that have taken a bunch of lives, but I am genuenly starting to doubt that its "just sadness" since it has been lingering for quite a while now. | 2 |
Have you ever thought ? | Have you ever thought that you don't want to continue your life because you lose your hope, passion, desire to live in this weird ass world ? | 1 |
Lonely in my Basement. | Anyone who wants to talk this late. | 1 |
Why is life cruel? | I'm just so fucking done with life. I've tried to stay strong but I can't stay strong. I'm tired and I want to give up. Life hasn't been getting better and it's been 4 years. What's the point of even living anymore? I don't have any purpose. All I am is a failure and a mistake. I'm sorry for turning into a disappointment. I was so so happy 4 years ago. Why did my life turn upside down? I can't stay strong. I've tried but I'm done. I'm just so so tired. I'm sorry but I am. I've smiled and smiled but I was never really happy. I didn't have to worry back then but now I constantly worry about everything. I'm so useless. I can't do anything except cry. Everyone is slowly leaving me and I have no one to be really turn to. I just can't deal with this world anymore. I've been cutting myself almost all the time and I'm sick of feeling this way. I just want to die so so bad. I'm sorry.. | 8 |
Do you ever contemplate your life? | You are just playing some Minecraft with friends, finally got a few diamonds and just zone out and think how you are wasting your life? You could be doing whatever you want, but you just sit inside entertaining yourself with a game that is blocks, and being happy getting a diamond although you don't even get it in real life? The game you once enjoyed as a little kid because of the creativity into it, now basically forcing yourself to play it?
Take a second, think of the first time you played a video game, were you happy or annoyed? Big chances confused? Or scared? I remember being young, and playing outside with my friends, now around about 7 years later I'm almost always inside, eyes glued to a screen. Now writing this, I think I'm going to go outside for a good amount of time, and use my life better. | 9 |
How to get past the sinking feeling you fucked your only chance at something | Long story short I have a hard time catching feelings for someone and I finally did but she didn’t feel the same and life went on they hated me and I still want nothing more than just to go back to how it was before I told them how I felt because we had a good friendship before hand now we hardly speak at all | 1 |
I am in a loop, I can’t forget her. | Knowing well, that she doesn’t even care. fuck, please help. please. I am stuck. | 2 |
I know y'all prolly won't care... | but I just want to put this here as no one will listen to me rant about life, just wanna let it out. I feel so lonely even though I have complete family, a mother and father that loves me, relatives who cares for me but I still feel lonely, I can't share my problem to anyone, my inner thoughts, my parents and relatives are very conservative and won't listen and believe about this, I still love them but keeping this burden, dealing with it alone is hard, everyday the thoughts keeps coming back and gnawing my noggins. I'm tired of putting a facade that everything is fine, it's tiring and now a my special someone is going to abroad and lives there, we won't prolly interact with each other again and I been telling her that it's fine and hoping her the best but I can't let her go atleast I don't want her to go but I can't, and now I feel her creating a distance between us I don't know why but yeah I can feel it. I feel soooo alone. Y'all prolly won't read this that's fine I feel a little relief blurting this stuff.
(Also sorry for my English, not my native language)
And oh I do have frends it's just I'm a "dispensable friend" u know the type u invite when someone backed out, I'm never the priority, even when I do invited I don't feel included I'm just in the corner. I also know they're friends with me becuz I'm decent at Acads, even knowing that I didn't do anything cuz I'll lost social life, I'll become a hermit again, and I don't want to go back to that. | 6 |
Won't graduate | I feel like I've let my everyone down. All my friends and family, I haven't been going to school lately and it has affected my grade tremendously.
I'm in 8th grade, in a school that has students that were above average in their own school. I was doing great until 7th grade, at the end of the school year, when I had a girlfriend and a very close friend group, it all just went away. My girlfriend broke up with me over the summer and some people that I used to call friends stopped being. Beginning of 8th grade I realized that my ex was in most of my classes and that I would only have 1 more person that I knew in the class. I don't know what I was thinking but my solution was to try to fail 8th grade just to not need to think of highschool. If I fail this grade I will be put back in my old school. I don't want this to happen anymore, but I can't reverse it anymore. If there is a small chance I'll graduate I still wouldn't be happy because I'll feel guilty about not putting any effort into school and graduating.
There are two possibilities either I graduate or don't
There are two options, even if I graduate or don't, I can move with my grandma which will let me start over with people I don't know but it also means I won't see my mom and brother, or I could simply stay.
If I graduate then staying is better but if I don't then moving is better. I just can't decide.
I'll see if I graduate in about a week. | 1 |
Empty and numb | I feel empty, no tears dripping my eyes anymore. I just think of “It is what it is”. | 2 |
I have been mentally struggling with this dilemma, I really need advice to choose coming from this server. | ​
https://preview.redd.it/i5g3vw946w5b1.jpg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=417d4f6390bbee9b37e6094481ce75d5cd0eaef0 | 0 |
If someone isn't comfortable with or judges/looks down on people for crying or showing emotional vulnerability, would you say that automatically means that they're devoid of empathy? |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/148ts4q) | 1 |
Everything in my life keeps crashing around me | No matter how many times i keep trying to do something or keep picking myself back up from failing, it always breaks apart over and over again. I can’t keep putting up with it and life just keeps getting harder and harder. Im too much of an idiot to cut my throat and end it that way. Whats the next best method to end my life? | 1 |
Am I the problem??? | I’ve been having problems with schools and places in general with people making fun of me or “jokes” and for context I am slightly overweight but not obese and have mental problems but all the stuff that’s been happening has damaged me I can’t get any courage to go outside anymore and scared to even step foot outside the house and I feel like this is a massive burden to my parents and said that my mind is the cause but I don’t feel that way and I’ve been getting into bad habits all the time and even scared when I’m at home that someone will make fun of the way I look or something I do and the thing is I’m nice to people and quiet shy but people are just dick heads and try to hurt me with footballs and I feel like I’m the problem and I’m not good enough or not doing something right i Don’t even like the way I look any more and feel like a mistake. | 2 |
Broken but happy for my friends | Does anyone know the feeling when you go home after a night out and everybody in your friends group is talking about how many eye contact did they get in the club but your the only one who didn’t get shit? | 1 |
I’m done with this | I’ve had it at this point. I’m not looking for help I just want to know what method of suicide would be the easiest and most effective. If anyone could tell me I would really appreciate it | 2 |
Alguien que me salve? | Me siento sola. Mi mejor amiga me dejo por el grupo de las populares y mi mejor amigo se va a sevilla a vivir y me he peleado con el , mi novia me ha dejado, mis amigas se van con mi novia y solo tengo 1 amiga que va a repetir curso. | 2 |
It might seem stupid | But I just found out a few hours ago that a fire has started in my room. The people were able to put out the fire but it had already destroyed quite a few things. It burned down my bed and my school bag which means I'll have to redo like ALL of my school work. It also destroyed my AC and cooler. But despite all this, the thing I'm the saddest about is losing all three of my soft toys. All of them had a very special place in my heart. It may sound stupid but I just finished bawling my eyes out for hours and I still can't believe that they're gone. I would've been fine if I at the very least had some parts of them but nobody seems to be able to find any of them. I can't even look for them myself since I'm someplace else. But yeah, that's all I had to say. I hope that eventually I stop crying every single time I think of them. So yeah, unlike me, I hope you had a great day. | 2 |
My dad renounced the one thing that connected us. | My dad used to beat my siblings and me and was generally scary. He was raised a certain way and did what he knew.
Overtime, that changed and so did he. But we didn't have much in common. One of the few things I loved was the doo wop music he played while we did chores and house work.
Cut to today when I decide to reach out and ask him to get a list of the music we used to listen to.
He says he no longer listens to secular (non Christian) music and doesn't remember. I know he remembers because he sang every word of every song. He is just a devout Christian now. He has been for many years but he still listened to this music up until at least the last three years when I last visited so I believe it's because of all the evangelical bullshit going on in America now.
Shit broke my heart that one of the few circumstances of me not being afraid of him as a child is completely wiped out to him and doesn't mean anything. I cried my eyes out as a 38 year old man and am still so sad. I'm crying as I type this. | 2 |
The sad truth of male chicks. | Male chicks in the egg industry are either killed or dyed. If you haven't seen a video of chicks being dyed, consider yourself lucky. Just because male chicks don't grow fast and can't make eggs, doesn't mean they aren't important. They are actually the most important because they continue the generations. How could we even have eggs if there are no males to mate with females to make more females to lay more eggs?
Male chicks are also dyed. However, it is TOXIC and they are handled roughly. I've seen a video of a man dumping chicks into a plastic bucket, before adding green dye to them and tossing them around. Even if it wasn't toxic, it still could've damaged their delicate little bodies, just like how slaves were abused back in the 1500s to the 1800s. We've already had that shit happen back then and we certainly don't need that happening again. The chicks are then sold, played roughly, then abandoned. We've already had the holocaust happen in World War II and we certainly don't need it happening right now, or into the future.
However, Israel takes the eggs and throws them into a chamber then plays a top-secret music. The waves would actually change the chick's gender to female, whether they were male or not. The good thing is, there are no male chicks to kill. The bad thing is, there are no male chicks to continue the generation of chickens. And Germany has already banned culling male chicks. I hope the rest of Europe will follow, and then the world. | 0 |
broken |
About a month ago me and my girlfriend for 2 years broke up. It was my first (18M) real relationship and I loved her with every fiber of my being all the way to the end. She made me the happiest I’ve ever felt. She convinced me to make something out of myself when I was nothing before her. Before I met her I was having run ins with the law and almost caught a felony. After we got together she convinced me to find a passion and thats when I found EMS. I enrolled in the local community college while in my senior year and completed a EMT program at the same time i got my diploma. She always helped me study and everything felt okay. I started to stand on my own and create me own future and our relationship was amazing other than the sexual side.
She rarely wanted to do anything (about once everything 3 months). I was okay with it because I loved her. It didn’t start out like that though the first few months she was very active with that side but it died down after we had sex for the first time. She was a virgin I was not. Everything felt like it went okay, she seemed to enjoy it and I she never seemed uncomfortable.
December of last year I started an AEMT class and she was very supportive we had class every Thursday 07:00-19:00.
January of this year I started a full time EMS job (previously I was working part-time at a local 911 county service approximately 5 24 hour shifts a month) due to the fact I was new at this agency I was placed on night shift (20:00-08:00) and after work I would sleep most of the day. She began working a part-time job as well but it was nearly full-time with no benefits (36 hour weeks)
This is when we started to struggle. I because stressed out from work and school but I always made a point of trying to make time for her a few times a week. Dates became sparse but she never helped plan anything anymore and she wanted to see me less and less until it was maybe once every 2 weeks. This was about early April right before my class ended. I continued to attempt to spend time with her but her always turning me down felt like shit. I went to sit for my national registry (an extremely hard and stressful test) and I ended up passing and when I told her all I got was an uninterested “cool”. This destroyed me. A week later I was supposed to pick her up from work to go out and spend the night at my place but when i got there i found out that her mom already picked her up and took her home. I texted her and asked her if we were still going out and all i got was “idk”. At this point it had been happening very often and I was fed up with it. I drove to her house and asked her to come outside and sit in my car to talk. We had a long conversation and it ended with “I cant have you keep doing this to me. Are you going to go back to normal or are we done” she said “i think were done”. We both sat there in silence for probably 5 minutes when I started crying. She asked “cant we just be friends” and i said “it doesnt work like that” and she cried a few tears and got out of the car and went inside. I probably sat in her drive way for 20 minutes after crying. She broke everything I had.
Since February I had been preparing to move out on my own since my parents were moving to florida for my dad’s retirement, but she was the only reason i was staying. I hated kentucky more than anywhere i had lived but she made me happy there so i okay with staying for her. The day after we broke up I went to my dad and I asked if could go to florida. I couldn’t stand driving and seeing all of the places we went together. He said okay. I knew I was giving everything up to do it and i didn’t realize how much everything really is.
I put my 2 weeks in and said goodbye to all of my friends and on the 31st of may we drove from kentucky to florida. Everything was going okay until I hit atlanta traffic and it out so much strain on my clutch I burned it out. We had to have my car towed to a local transmission shop and we left it in georgia and I rode with my parents the rest of the way. After i got to florida i began having dreams of my ex and i haven’t had a good night sleep since. In the last month I’ve lost the love of my life, my car, my friends, my job, and my certification (they don’t acknowledge AEMTs in florida). I feel broken and like I’m in a worst place then when i first met her. I feel lost. I thought she was the one. I don’t want to be young and dumb i just want to find one person to love forever.
edit: im a piece of shit, this was all my fault. i loved her but all i was doing was hurting her. i promised id never hurt her and did exactly that. she never deserved what i did to her. ill forever be sorry. i dont deserve to find love | 5 |
Is it common for people to feel more emotional/more emotionally up and down when the weather is hot? |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/148d18m) | 4 |
Having Alot Of Pain Suckz | i wanna really die but not in a painful way
i wanna have a roboy that does everything for me and under stands me
i wanna have friends with good relationship
i wish time didnt go fast at timrs when i was happy
i wish i didnt had depression
i wish i didnt get depression from my meds
i wish i didnt got anxiety
i wish i didnt get anxiety from my adhd meds
i wish i die without pain.
i wish i was happy. | 2 |
How did you found love? | plz help | 3 |
Story of my life | Your parents are supposed to be there for you when you need them. They brought you into this world by choice, you didn't choose to live they chose to give you life. So, in turn, they owe you everything and you owe them nothing. However, this idea was not the case for me. Growing up, I was constantly let down by both my mother and father. I remember growing up with my father just never being around and my mother always trying to make herself seem like the "better parent" by always reminding my sister and me that my father gave my sister very little in child support, that my father was never around, that he didn't care about us, that some years he did not even call to say happy birthday or to check in, just nothing as if we were not his daughters. I knew that, I know, I had a shitty father and sometimes, I do not even want to refer to that man as my father because he has never acted like one. I do not know why she had to rub it in our faces though, as it did not make me feel any good. As if she was the perfect mother. Oh god, this woman was awful. If being a good mother was a contest or game then this woman failed fucking miserably. My mother could be cold and emotionally unavailable. Once we had moved into our own place when I was about 8 years old she was always at work or too busy with her stupid boyfriend to care about my sister and me. Her boyfriend was an alcoholic growing up we would go out to restaurants or parties and stay out very late just watching him get drunk. My mom used to just let him drive home no matter how drunk he was, sometimes we would get kicked out of restaurants because he would try to pick a fight with someone while drunk, and other times, he would leave the house for a couple of hours and come to the house drunk and just pass out. Her boyfriend had favoritism towards my younger sister and disliked me. Some afternoons, he would come to the house drunk if my mother was not there, he would say horrible things to me and belittle me in any way he could. I told my mother what was going on and she accepted it, she never confronted him. She knew everything that went on and she chose him over own her daughter and that is what breaks me the most. But it's over, I am just supposed to let it go and move on and be happy for my mother and father. It is in the past and I have to just do my own thing or at least that is what everyone tells me. | 3 |
Discord server for venting, getting advice, and support | I call it the safe space, as it should be a safe space and positive environment for everyone to receive advice, support, and much more.
Also, just a heads up that it’s only for those looking for a supportive environment and not anything inappropriate, I’ve had one or two instances where people joined and started pming others and harassing them, just wanted to make that clear. Nothing wrong with relationships but no harassment is tolerated, tysm! | 2 |
She cheated and her life fell apart now she wants me back | Okay so my ex started ghosting me and cheating on me with other guys. It ended badly and I really didn't get any closure. Almost 2 years later she messages me on fb. She tells me shes sorry, and I'm the only one she ever really wanted. Then she starts telling me about how one of the guys she was cheating on me screwed her over and the other one moved in with her and hung himself in her basement. She had gone to the Dr. and was diagnosed with some rare disease. I feel really bad for her but at the same time (and yes i feel bad for even feeling this way) can you say karma? Am i wrong for thinking like this?
Update:
Okay everyone so I got a message from her. Now she is telling me she might have lung cancer on top of the rare disease she has. Sps? To me this seems a little I dunno. Like the first one didn't work so she stepped it up. I feel bad for even saying thatt but... Thoughts? | 13 |
Embrace | There’s this memory that keeps playing over and over from a few years ago. I’m usually go to festivals solo for the majority of my life, but for one of the 1st time ever, I felt wanted and embraced. Too add context I met a group of 3 that said they really enjoyed my energy and asked me if I wanted to tag along. In my head I was like nothing can really go wrong the worst that can happen is I lose them in the crowd and go back to being solo. The reason this stuck to me is that in a rare occasion 2 people of the group held my hand firmly so I wouldn’t lose them and on that exact moment I realized how lonely I really was. For the 1st time in a long time I felt… wanted? Like someone really enjoyed my company enough to make an effort not to lose me?
I remember walking back to my hotel after the event was over and I cried in the shower. That small interaction really just crushed me. Sounds pathetic. I know, but it’s something I had to get off my chest for a while. | 4 |
I’m gonna kill my self | I don’t want to live anymore | 12 |
It never stops | I've had depression for 5 years, since I was around 15. Nothing's really ever worked. I've tried so many different things. I started taking lithium about 2ish weeks ago, and I finally started feeling okay, but I'm scared it'll stop working just like everything else. Yesterday I got into a huge fight with a friend and he basically told me I'm a manipulative whore and a stupid child. A few months ago I reported a man, a pedophile who admitted to being a pedophile, who literally groomed and abused me for a year ,to Snapchat, who deleted his alt account and MY account, but not his main account. So I've just lost every friend I've ever had with absolutely no way to talk to them. I can't make another Snapchat account, and even if I could, I don't remember all their usernames, I don't know if they'd recognize me and add me back, and they're all far away and I don't have their other info so I can't find them anywhere else. I finally started feeling okay and then in the space of literally an hour I lost it all. Every single one of my friends except 2 who will likely forget all about me anyway. I haven't felt so alone in years. I just want to talk to my best friend. I didn't even get to tell him that I think I love him back. | 4 |
Ive done a lot of things i regret | I went on a trip to the UK with my friend and got back to the states yesterday. today I just focused on resting from the jetlagged, but I was able to re-think about all the questionable choices I made on the trip.
there were a few nights. I got really drunk and hooked up with some guys that looking back I regret doing.
It almost makes me realize that I sometimes feel like I don’t have a lot of self worth bc I put myself in really dangerous situations.
Like, do I really need to please men that bad I’m afraid of saying no sometimes?
I think I’m done with my “hoe” phase and want to become a lot more mature and settle down and try to find someone I can have a stable relationship with. But who would realistically want to be in a relationship with me? I’m too crazy and maybe one time hookups is all i deserve. | 6 |
Eeyore mornings turning into days. | I’m coming up to the end of my study. And although career wise feeling like I’m in the right direction. Every other area of my life has decreased. I know it’ll pass again. It comes and when it does hits hard. All at once, such a cliche. But gosh I want to live a different way. | 1 |
I tried posting my gacha ocs...why the hell is this all I get? | All I get is
"This is the cringiest thing ever"
"Do us all a favor and take this down"
"Kinda cringe"
Like...idek... | 4 |
Got Fired from my summer job | Hi guys. I'm a 21 year old with high-functionimg autism and I got hired at an Italian restaurant. After a few weeks they told me they wouldn't move forward with my employment. I really tried so hard and it sucks that I wasn't cut out for the fast paced environment. I feel so dumb that I couldn't handle a simple job taking orders and checking customers out | 11 |
Rejected by universities | Today I feel sad and disappointed.
I wanted to switch countries and thus with my decade long work experience started to apply for postgraduate universities to study and apply for jobs.
Finding jobs from tier-3 countries can be quite hard!
Sad to receive rejection email from one of my favourite universities who seem to value my 2012 degree (by the way it was AAA) over my work experience.
I feel deep sadness and a sense of despair.
I know this too shall pass but in the moment, it feels hapless.
What hurts more is that I am quite good in my field and might have been rejected by academia who might(or may...) not have any practical experience.
Just sad. | 8 |
Should I be worried about getting abused? | As someone with anxiety, I don't date much, and I just want someone who will be loyal to me. It's very clear that he's attracted to me. I'm attracted to him too, but everyone says that I'm way too pretty for him. About two weeks into us knowing each other, he shared a really intimate story of a traumatic experience that happened to him. He’s a empathetic person that cares for other people, but he gets angry over minor things. I'm 95% sure he's gone to therapy, because even though he will explode at the most random times, there'll be other times when he's really good at conflict resolution.
Before we dated, I invited him to my birthday party. Supposedly, a few weeks before, he was flirting with me, but I didn’t pick up on it. So when I invited him, it confused him. He thought I was giving him mixed signals. On his Twitter (that I don’t follow), he was saying stuff like “playing with people’s feelings is bad” and “disloyal people annoy me”. The next several weeks, he gave me the cold shoulder and really did not want to talk to me.
He’ll also roll his eyes or grunt over relatively things that really aren’t a big deal. Sometimes I wonder if the thing that I did even warranted a sigh or eye roll. I’m just wondering, if I got into a relationship with him, would it get worse?
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/148919m) | 1 |
One year. | It’s been a year since I’ve been drugged, raped, and had someone’s name carved into me.
It feels weird to think it’s been that long and to be honest I don’t think what happened was that bad people have been through much worse and I know I don’t deserve sympathy. I was groomed into the relationship but the whole time I loved them and part of me still does which is weird. Like I don’t love the person but I love how they made me feel sometimes I wish I could just date them for one more day but then again I know I couldn’t handle that. I’ve moved on I’ve been dating someone for a while now but I feel terrible for still harboring these feelings. I love the person im with because they treat me right they make me happy yet sometimes my mind wanders to a time when I was dating my ex and I miss the feeling I miss how they would leave me for days then come back and reassure that they wouldn’t leave me. I miss it and I feel disgusting. I can’t believe I would let myself go through that again if I could. I’m disappointed in myself but it’s whatever.
If you read this I’m sorry for burdening you with my problems I hope you have a good day/night! <3 | 1 |
Sad because there’s nothing else to say | I’m too sad to function. It shouldn’t be this way. Worked my ass off too, and for what? | 5 |
I'm ending it all | I'm killing myself by a gun. I have shotgun in my hand right now. The years have been tough recently. My girlfriend left me, my friends have abandoned me, and I am broke. I have hit rock bottom and an easy fix is suicide. I've called the hotline but it didn't change my mind. I have 3 mental health therapists that work hard for nothing. There is one solution to my issue and that is death. This is the last thing that I am saying before my fortunate death. Goodbye world and thanks for shit. | 1 |
I'm lost. | I'm not one who posts on social media, I'm not sure if I'll even get anything out of this post. All I really want at this point is someone I can talk to, someone with mutual interests, someone who won't play me for a fool. I don't want to ask for too much, all I want is to feel okay..If anyone does see this...And has any interests in getting to know me..Please add me on discord.
I play games like vrc, and Minecraft mainly.
Yuun#8372 | 5 |
Today was my 18th birthday. | As said in the title, today is my 18th birthday, it’s supposed to be a massive day and the day I’m legally an adult… my family I live with all forgot, ofc my cousins remembered and my friends too but none of them live near me (aka not in the same state) after I reminded them in the middle of the day, all they did was go out and buy me two of the 3$ cupcake single packs from Walmart, not even like the bunch of them, just two single cupcakes, I don’t mean to sound rude or ungrateful for everything they have done but, it just hurts, and to rub salt in the wound, my family overspent by a lot for my brother who came home after 7 months, they took my most recent pay check of 392$ after getting mad at me for spending my last one on stuff I wanted/needed. Like. No gifts, no big dinner, making me clean all day, not even asking if I wanted any specific food for dinner, nothing. It’s like today isn’t even slightly special. I’m hurting, sorry for this rant post | 45 |
I’m falling into a deep depression | I don’t have the people I once loved. I don’t feel comfortable sharing with most people. I’m tired and I want this all to end. I have a date and I’m excited, but nervous and feeling just so done with life. I’m just so done. I know no one cares. It just hurts. | 2 |
Feeling sad | Okay, do I need to go out or something? I just go to work and that's it. I don't date or go out anywhere on my days off. I don't even have any friends to talk to. I don't even talk to my coworkers. I just stay in the house alone if I am not at work.
I recently met these two older women at work, an Indian and a Bangladeshi. My life has revolved so much around them that I overthink my little interactions with them. I think about them a lot. They have become the only things I look forward to. They are friends with
each other and are close.The Bangladeshi woman told me, " You always smile at me and I don't know why."
This is honestly starting to become a situation. Sometimes I take my breaks at the same as the Bengali woman and we sit together. The Indian woman always leaves her bag on the table. It is a black and white tote bag. Sometimes we sit next to it and we make this weird eye contact like we are waiting for the Indian lady to come to the break room or something.
Then once I ran into the Bengali
woman and her daughter by chance on the way to work. She said in Bengali to her daughter, "I want to know why she is always smiling." And one time while we were working together, she asked me, "Are you married?" I was thinking of something, like she had an intention. | 3 |
Sorry I know this is a really deep question but to feel like suicide is the only actual way out of mental health issues if you feel like you're not allowed to ask for help? | Sorry as I know that sounds like a really dreary thing to say but I feel like I've really hit a brick wall in terms of my mental health and letting myself go to therapy again/going to the doctor about mental health etc. Because when I suppress all my anxieties, moments where I feel vulnerable and my emotions then I just end up completely exploding and saying all kinds of nasty/abusive things both about myself and to my parents too(it also really hurts when I know that when I say the stuff, it's horrible for everyone) but if I actually go and ask for help/let myself be vulnerable then I feel like I'm failing or disappointing other people because obviously everyone else I know is much stronger than me and I'm just an emotional/overly sensitive bitch and everyone else rarely feels emotional or vulnerable etc. I just can't cope with feeling like I'm disappointing other people and I also feel a sense of now that I'm an adult, I need to deal with mental health shit by myself
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/147qrfa) | 2 |
Feel lost | Hello all, I’m in my late 40’s and I started feeling down and empty lately. I have a great family but I feel my life is not fulfilled. I recently started a job and got a nice salary, however, I don’t like it to be honest. The people are cool but the job itself is not my cup of tea. I get my ups and downs but for the last weeks it’s been worst. There are days I just lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling and just have empty thoughts.
I do try to keep myself in shape but at times work takes up my time. I would love to find a job that I make a good salary but not working like a donkey. I work 12 hours a day and at times I see myself answering emails on the weekend. My wife gets annoyed at me and says you need to enjoy life more. Not to sure if I’m a workaholic or just trying to impress my superiors.
I always told my self if I’m going to work like a-hole I would rather own my own business than work for someone else to work crazy hours and make them money.
Not to sure if you have any thoughts or recommendations on this. If so, please share!
Thank you. | 3 |
Sad and lonely | It’s my bday tomorrow. Usually I make a big deal, so I can at least get a message or 2. But it is truly f’n depressing. I don’t have actual close friends. I hate this. I’ll be over it within a week, but it feels like a spotlight on my loneliness. I’ll probably spend the day in bed at best. At worst…..Wish me luck on surviving. | 7 |
June 12th | Today would have been my dad's 62nd birthday, but it's the 11 year anniversary of his suicide. | 1 |
Heartache | My heart hurts so bad. I wish I wake up tomorrow without remembering anything | 1 |
Tired of being useless | Im in a college now, and my academically im so poor. Im getting failed in one or two in each semester. 😔
I just can’t express my disappointment to anyone else. Not even to my parents .
I am at the lowest now . I cant do it any more . I feel like im wasting my parents money . | 2 |
I just want to be loved is that too much to ask? | What is wrong with me? Am I that different from people? Am I that difficult to love? I know not many people understand me. I know most of them just tolerate me and that’s the best I can ask for most people. Being tolerated is better than not being acknowledged or even ignored. Being tolerated all my life I just want to know what love is. What being accepted for all your flaws and for who you are as a person, no matter the mistakes I make. Logically I know my family does that; emotionally I don’t believe it. Maybe its the neglect that makes me think that I’m worthless; maybe its the neglect that makes me think I need to always succeed to be worth noticing; maybe that’s the reason why I think to be loved means to be good at something or to be useful. If I can’t do anything would I still be worthy of love? Is love something to be given to those who are worthy? What is worth to love? So many questions; I try to logic but I just can’t. What is there to logic when you love someone?
I often think back to Arcane. How Silco was torn between everything he ever wanted and Jinx and you just knew that he would have chosen Jinx every time. Will someone do that for me? Would someone choose me every time? I don’t know. I just want to be loved. Why does it feel like too much to ask? I’m scared, I’m scared I won’t be able to do that. To give up your future for someone. Its scary to think that one person is worth it all. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t given the chance to feel unconditional love that I just don’t understand it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be loved; if I’ll ever be happy. I don’t know if anyone would love me unconditionally. Maybe I won’t be loved. Will I be okay with that? I don’t want to think about it. | 15 |
Im not appreciated. | Today was my only day off work. I recently went back to work after being a SAHM for 3 years. I told them I only wanted a few days/week, but I’m a pleaser, so here I am on week 3 of 6 days/week. I spent my only day off doing house hold chores, and like 2.5 hours cooking a good, home cooked meal. My kids didn’t want it at all, hubby said it was the best tasting food he’s had in weeks (pretty sure he was blowing some smoke, but I thought I out did myself, too. It was super delicious). The kitchen was left a silent mess with just me in it, obviously I cleaned the whole thing. 2hrs later hubby wanted to go on a drive to help the baby sleep. He stopped at a convenience store and got everyone in the car something except for me. Drinks and snacks for everyone. Except me. When I brought it up he rolled his eyes and said “my bad. Not a big deal, I just won’t drink or eat until you get out of my car”. Am I crazy for being upset by this scenario?! | 5 |
My friend tried to kill himself 2 weeks ago | My friend tried to kill himself around two weeks ago. My best friend. I know he struggles alot, and i do too, but he won't let me comfort him. I know he probably doesn't like being helped in that way. He deal with very serious mental health problems. Schizophrenia, depression and suicidal thoughts.
He sometimes vents to me, and I'm a very good listener. I usually give him comfort and tips how get through things, and he listens. But mostly he doesn't listen to me.
Two weeks ago when he said he'd tried to kill himself, he joked around with it. I don't think that's funny, but i just had go with the joke. Later that day i sent him a message on snap where i told him that i dont want to lose him, and if there is something he needs to talk about, I'm here for him. But the only answer i got from that was a "funny" picture and the name of the guy in the picture (a guy from my school).
I don't put any blame on my friend, i know how hard it is to talk to people about your mental health. Even i can't talk to anyone about it, i only talk about it online, mostly yo online friends, but i don't say much. I just feel so bad because i feel like I'm not there for him enough... | 1 |
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