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Bad memorys | I remembered Last year and this year my First true girlfriend and i Always crie because of the Break Up and then i say to myself the entire time that i shouldnt exist that im a mistake No one really Likes me | 4 |
Answer to this question honestly... | Are you really OK? | 3 |
My gf | Has your gf ever just say you’ll fuck and then you don’t fuck it breaks you so fucking hard your waiting and next thing you know she says she doesn’t want to anymore so woopty fucking do no sex and I’m sad now so fuck | 1 |
Living in the past | Today I discovered that the reason I get so sad Is because I live in the past. I live for those feelings I once had in childhood. I was a vary happy kid. Present, happy, and curious, but also scared as can be. I enjoyed life though. And i felt like I didn’t need more. Home was everything. I want the warm, comforting hug that i felt when i was home. Now i feel far far away from home. I had a great one. A great home with very great days. And unfortunately those great days start to turn to cold ones that feel empty, lonely, and misunderstood. Why do I let myself relive over those moments of past thoughts of feelings, whether or not they were frightening or exciting. Those nerve wracking overwhelming days in life that told you that you need to retreat back to your shell. That shell which was childhood and home. The deep down feeling that you were loved and appreciated begins to fade. As you get older, you begin to realize that life is pain. Not only is it pain, but it is sadness, fright, anger, love and and unbearable thoughts. Why didn’t I experience these things in childhood. The reason I lack the ability to look forward is because I’m faced to reminisce on the days that i felt happy and that gave me purpose. So that’s how I discovered I live in the past. I don’t live in the future like many people around me, I live in the past. Not only do I live in the past, but I also live in my perfectly imagined reality. Which is composed of moments that I feel like would bring me joy, like in childhood. However, after daydreaming those fictional realities, thoughts of loneliness and emptiness emerge. | 2 |
My son died this morning. | I held my newborn son for the first and last time this morning.
He was born premature.
He didn't even make it 2 days.
Was bleeding from his brain, lungs, liver, kidneys and they had to pump him full of blood just to keep him alive for my mom and my wife's parents to meet him before he died.
We took a bunch of photos that I can't look at.
It happened this morning and I'm still processing.
Friends have reached out but I don't feel like talking yet.
My mom brought us breakfast this morning.
I have wanted to have children since I was a child.
I'm 36, my wife is ,33. This was going to be our first child together. We got married last year on February 14th
I still can't process that my son just died this morning.
I still see his little body in my hands as he took his last breath, choking on his own blood. | 33 |
Sigh... | Loneliness sucks. Period. And loneliness while having social anxiety is hell. | 5 |
Winter Sadness | I’m always cold these days. The cold air fuels my skin leaving it red, blistered on my knuckles, visible only on very cold and dark nights. Even the warm gloves can’t protect the scaring. My body is weak, but so strong. The rawness of my throat whenever I swallow, similar to the feeling of your throat when you hold back tears. Pain in between my breastbone, cold air soothing the area. My heart beats fast and strangely at times, like a butterfly trying to escape some spiderweb. It calms down with my breath, but sometimes shows up out of no where. My whole body feels cold, even blankets and layers surrounding me make me feel alone. Even my soul is like the grass early in the morning when it frosts over, so easily breakable but strong in the frame. Like a mountain with snow, so beautiful from a distance, hundreds of trees glistening in ribbons of godly light. but up close only numb and dead in the winter. | 3 |
IDK what to do | I left everything to live with my girlfriend. Now she doesn't want to live with me anymore because a fight . I knew her one year ago ... And now 31st , fuck... One year... I started this year with her and I'll finish it without her ...
Pd; sorry for my english, I'm from mexico ! Still learning! | 3 |
Boy Advice | null | 3 |
Choose your own battle? | How do you choose your battle?
#motivation #lifelesson | 2 |
Wow. | Happy to say that my actual name isn’t on here so hopefully nobody from my old school will know that I’m here. I’d like you all to know that I hate that place, I hate it with every fiber of my being. It’s the worst place that ever existed and if I could burn it all to the ground I would. Apparently people were scared that I was gonna shoot up the school, I can’t tell you how many times the police were called on me. I got kicked out of the dorms for threatening to kill someone I was very close to, someone I would have loved if I could actually feel that emotion. Everyone was waiting for me to snap. Maybe I should have. Maybe I should have raised hell and bought that school to it’s knees. I could have been charged with terroristic threats for what I did to him. But he didn’t want to charge me. He should have. Then I would know how little he cared and how little I mattered. Ugh. Fuck me guys. I hope nobody from the place is on here. | 1 |
I Can't Move On | It has been months since we broke up. it has been months since we last chatted, it has been months since that incident, it has been month since we had a friendly conversation until I did that to you. How can I bring you back. I still remember the memories back then, I still remember the scars you left me, how can you still not forgive me on the THING that I did. I already did the things that you told me, and got what I deserve, and still not get been forgiven. were you really mad at me back then? just remember that you LEFT ME for no FUCKING reason and YOU have the FUCKING guts to not telling me. how fucked up are you? I thought that your parents found out but it was you leaving me. no wonder that you ghosted me for 3 months and when school started you were happy and cool with that while I'm still here waiting for you to tell me in person the reason why. I always kept my emotions in cause you already know when I bursted my emotion. then 2 months in school, THAT incident came and you got mad at me? like WTF KAREN I'm not letting the manager come here. you got mad at me because of what I you still don't want to talk to me? I can't continue with this fake smile while I'm dying inside, I have considered commit suicide and that is still on my list. lets just end this shit, all I need is for you to tell me the reason, that's it. I'm sorry for the curses, I... my emotions just got control over me, I'm sorry. | 6 |
Relax Fireplace and storm sound ( homage to my friend ) | null | 2 |
Help | Been having a lot of fights with the people that mean the most to me. One of them is my shoulder to cry on when I need it, but now I'm pretty sure she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. It feels like I'm alone in the world. Where do I go when the person I usually depend on for reassurance is the one I need reassurance about? | 3 |
The cost of certain changes | With many things that I feel hold me back, I want to be free from them, but with that, comes losing a part of myself. Once it's gone, I realize how much I've changed, and that I have moved passed ways of thinking that could hold me back. But I feel a sense of hollowness, what's left? There is a magic in nostalgia, but if I don't feel that way anymore, then it's only nostalgia about nostalgia. | 1 |
what the fuck is this feeling | i find myself a very happy person in the day when im around my family honestly i love being around them but when the night comes and im alone in my room my head is just fogged with this feeling of nothing... literally nothing. i cant put it into words but it makes me feel like shit, i feel bad about everything i do and dont like it. its a void i always end up falling into and idk how much more this can go on. im 17 why the fuck do i feel like this, no friends, no nothing. myself and this feeling of nothing. maybe i need to find something that i like but it feels impossible. man this life thing is really goin to shit for me. | 3 |
I'm Sorry | I'm sorry I couldn't help.
I can't even help myself. | 5 |
Right now I’m really happy and that is not a good thing. | Because I know it is not going to last considering earlier I was very sad and crying. I know my feelings will crash very soon and when they do I will feel the worst again. I wish I could feel happy everyday. I feel like no matter the problems I have in my life, at the moment, I can overcome them and have a somewhat decent life... but this feeling is not going to last. I feel motivated even to play a game I’ve just been recently losing and that goes to say a lot. Why can’t I be like this everyday… what is wrong with me? Is this how people usually feel on their daily basis? Because if it is, then they are very lucky. | 6 |
Why do good people die? | My 38 year old brother-in-law died of a sudden heart attack in front of my sister last night.
He was such a great man & always treated her so well. They were in deep love and were amazing people. Travelled and worked and just made others feel good.
My kids are sad but I am devastated. I didn’t know him incredibly well but he was kind, gracious and he had a wonderful heart.
Why am I so sad? I’m a 42 year old man and I cannot stop crying at my desk. | 9 |
Is something wrong with me? | Lately I’ve been had waves of sadness hit me. It’s been like this for maybe 2 months and I just don’t know why. Ive done tons of things to make myself feel better but they only work momentarily. Even when I laugh its cut short. I’ve been irritable also... I just don’t know what’s wrong. What can I do to fix it...? | 9 |
Help me find my Among Us friend | **Hello...**
I played with someone on Among Us for 2 hours. Then she left, I need help finding my friend.
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I'm crying right now.
Her name is, please don't be mean. "your mom" she uses pink. help me find my friend. PLEASE :( | 4 |
TheenD | At what point do you give up? I can't get a job i can't get my drivers license back without going to jail for 5 years. I don't want to do this anymore. What can i do? I want to die but don't want to killnyself with my gun id want to OD on heroin but don't have the money to get enough heroin to od. What can i do to die? Ps don't want to shoot myself because my gun is a family heirloom i don't want the government to get after my death | 4 |
i cant anymore | i’ve felt this way for so long. so alone. so sad. and today it occurred to me that there’s no one in my life keeping me from just ending it. i have no friends, no one in my family cares or even notices. there’s no one who i can actually talk to. it’s just been so hard. waking up, doing anything just feels like such a chore. life doesn’t feel worth living anymore. i’ve been waiting for so long because everyone says it gets better. but i cant keep waiting. i’m miserable. | 5 |
Life honestly just sucks | Lose money, Just work no time to myself, I have suicidal thoughts but doubt I'd ever go through with one but...yeah just looking for a purpose in life to be honest, wanna travel the world thats about it, ill die happy once I've done that | 4 |
I wanna move out | I am done with my step-father. He isn't a bad person, I know he loves me and cares a lot about me but I don't like him. I feel uncomfortable around him. I tense when he touches me, I hate hugging him, I hate his political views and religious nature. I hate how he tries to give me his shitty advice that I never asked for. I don't want to live under the same roof as him. It's not his fault, he has never treated me badly or anything but I failed to create an emotional bond with him and now I feel like I'm living with a stranger.
I can't wait to move out but I have 3 more years to go :/ | 1 |
Why is my life like this? | First of all, I've always had a crush on someone since kindergarten and every time I'd ask someone out they'd reject me or they'd date me and later leave me. this was the beginning of my depression.
then came the bullying, people hated me for reasons I can't say, and it didn't help when my family lost patience with my anger and gave up trying to help me. I feel like they don't love me or care.
I don't want to become hardcore emo, but that's where I'm heading besides hell
time and time again I feel like I don't care anymore and I just don't know what to do.
thanks for reading, I really appreciate it | 3 |
What anime really does for people | I'm sitting on my dad's dog's bed. I'm watching Clannad After Story again after stopping for almost a year. I'm on the verge of tears AGAIN. I feel like shit as a son because I hate my family for the things they put me through, despite the fact that I put them through hell. Is it possible to feel happy you escaped something and want to go back to apologize for your part in something? | 1 |
Why do I enjoy the felling of being sad ? |
Sadness is the truest emotion, and it reminds me that other people are sad. Happiness, while is pure and true, it’s often fragmented and easily overcome by other emotions. But sadness is like a.. overwhelming, abiding felling. It feels grounding to me personally and it reminds me that other people are sad, too. Happiness is beautiful but it’s not as strong it’s not as powerful as sadness, you can fake a smile but you can’t really fake a frown. | 10 |
Human Connection | It was a nice North Eurpean fall Saturday night. That day wasn’t particularly a remarkable. I woke up, drank coffee, ate breakfast, and spent the next few hours playing video games with mates from India. After the video game session was over, I ended up finishing all the items that was on my todo list by late afternoon; And then it struck me. “What now?”, I almost thought out loud. The very short lived euphoria of finishing all chores and domestic upkeep turned into a bitter taste of void.
I sat down to meditate and inadvertently ended up thinking about the restlessness of it all and found myself at edge of a vast chasm of purposelessness. I didn’t like the look of it, niether did I want to dwell on something that existential. So I took my jacket, and went for a walk. I walked until the edge of the lake. It was lit dull with a city scape. The man made hustle bustle of the city was a bit faded, like a white noise machine, a mere reminder of it’s existence, but nothing more. I sat on a dark bench and lit a cigarette. L said I shouldn’t smoke, but a few on this evening of void won’t hurt. I noticed the crackling noise as tobacco burned. I remember that sound; it was a sound of comfort.
I used to go camping when I was a kid. One night, during a camp out, concocting all sorts of imaginary creatures in the dark, I couldn’t make my mind shut down and fall asleep. While trying to think of an escape stragety, in case a wild fox would charge through my rickety shelter, I heard the crackling noise of a cigarette just ligthing up. A camping instructor was nearby. Since he didn’t want to set bad example, he would only smoke after lights out. He was nearby, probably taking a stroll around all the makeshift little tents that we made for ourselves. I felt safe. My tired mind didn’t remember anything more from that night.
My cigarette was all burnt up, I was still sitting on the bench, trying to make sense of the blight that had infected my mind. I tried meditating on it. But like any other grossly inexperienced meditation enthusiast would shamefully agree, it didn’t help sediment the situation at all. I heard the wind carrying bad jokes and whispers from couples. I saw little ducks walking to the water and back; I never got why they do that. I saw the homeless guy living under a bridge; The shambles of his belongings were surprisingly neat.
It was at that moment, I sensed this incredible craving for human connection. The idea, seemed very cliched, however at that very moment in time, very inaaccessible and real, painful and without solace in the horizon; It cut deep. It was getting cold, and my jacket wasn’t proving to be adequate. For a moment I wasn’t sure if I was shivering from the cold or just the scary possibility of becoming a bitter old man, living the unimaginable other half of life spent grinding jobs, being part of the “economy”, and witnessing the slow erosion of the familiar. It was, all of a sudden a very real possibility that I might not end up in a warm fuzzy home, lit in warm candlelight and full of soft slip on sandals. Just before standing up to walk back home, I thought I better get ready to camp out a lifetime, without an instructor.
[Original post](https://arijitdg.net/human-connection/) | 3 |
Ghost Of Sadness (trying some free form writing to deal with the times) | I had cut myself while shaving. Straight razors are known for nicks and cuts. I generally put on some after shave lotion and move on. Today the lotion didn’t burn, or so I thought a few minutes later after I applied it; I hadn’t bother to flinch at the buring senstation one experiences when applying alcohol to a cut. I went back and looked at my face in the mirror; I shaved like a clumsy zombie. There were cuts all over my face and throat. I would be lying if I say I wasn’t alarmed.
I have picked up shaving with a straight razor last year, and gotten fairly good at it ever since, and nowadays I can’t really shave without a straight razor. The process is slow, but since I have some stubbly beard, I get great results. When I realised how many nicks I had today, I was surprised. I try to keep notes on how each shave turns out, for example angles of the blade, how I hold it, what kind of results I get etc. I tried to remember how I shaved today, and all I got static. I couldn’t even remember that I was shaving. I was very preoccupied today morning, inconsolably sad, and with complete lack of any solace in the horizon.
I haven’t had many drowning-like experiences except in swimmiing classes. The trainer would take us to the deep end of the pool and throw us in deep water. It was a decent strategy in those days I presume. I remember, while struggling under water, sun would shine through the green algaenated water, I remember the taste of dirty water, the muffled sound of other kids frolicking and shouting. I would struggle for a few seconds, before a hand would come down and pull me up. I always dreaded that part of the class every day.
But today, no hand was coming down breaking the surface to pull me up. I have gotten better at swimming since those days of struggle, but I have never swam in these uncharted waters, the hadal zone of the mind.
After I had calmed down a little, I went to the bathroom and I looked at the mirror, straight into my owns eyes through a little gap in the fog. I had never noticed the wrinkles under my eyes, or the white stubbles poking, ever so slightly noticable. The bathoom still had humid after-shower walls and warm steam between the walls; I noticed the smell that I had left after the shower. The ghost of sadness, that took over me, never left the bathroom; It was still lingering in there. I could feel it. I took a look at my razor. It still had a little bits of skin and stubbles left on it. I turned on the hot water and ran water on the blade. The mirror had some fog left, I wiped it off with my hands. That was the moment I saw my ghost of sadness.
[Original Post](https://arijitdg.net/ghost-of-sadness/) | 3 |
Dumped | My girlfriend of almost 2 years dumped me a few days ago, she was the only person I felt that truly cared about me. Does anyone have any advice? I feel so weak all the time now, food doesn’t taste well and I always feel like throwing it up afterwards. My body is shaking most likely from lack of appetite and I just don’t know what to do anymore | 6 |
Pain | Doesn’t it feel great when you find out that your entire relationship, even friendship was all one sided? I love that! 🤠👍🏽 | 6 |
My grandma died of sadness | When i was a kid, the only think I heard about my grandma, is that she died of sadness, i never understood what it meant, i always thought, how is that possible?, they should be lying!.
Now, that i am feeling that deep sadness, I kind of understand how it was for her. | 6 |
Today |
Today I slipped.
I slid down the slippery slope
that is depression.
One minute I was cleaning my room,
the next, I was planning how
to die, when to die.
It happened so fast, I was
left in tears. | 6 |
wish i could remember password | had account for years and even mod but go divorced sad and forgot when i get back from rehab. nine year later i miss account cant remember half of reddit. | 4 |
Hope this can help for folks that are going through a rough time. | [https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/valium1/nothing](https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/valium1/nothing) | 1 |
Do you know why you're sad? A main reason why ppl are sad is cos you're around shitty ppl. You don't want to be around shitty ppl. You want to be around quality ppl. So now you take the next step, and you go and you surround yourself with quality ppl | Do you know why you're sad? A main reason why ppl are sad is cos you're around shitty ppl. You don't want to be around shitty ppl. You want to be around quality ppl. So now you take the next step, and you go and you surround yourself with quality ppl | 7 |
No Friends/Family support system | I just wanted to share that I have officially burned all of my bridges. I saw everyone's true colors and I saw that no one was really supporting me so there was no point in having them around if they were going to bring me down and cause me further trouble. It has been a long week, even though the week barely started. I have no idea why I am having such horrible luck all of a sudden. Please pray for me. If you are interested you can keep reading.
Saturday: My friends canceled plans on me that I was looking forward to (Not that bad, but it escalates)
Sunday: My other friend cancels plans on me (i have been looking forward this since June because we planned to do this thing since June) but then my other friend was able to go so not horrible and then someone attacked my online shop
Monday: Gets charged twice for something that I bought. Lost a lot of money and I did not even spend any, it just a company took it by accident. Then these two people who really hate me decide to make up a lie about me and tell my school and I got into huge trouble. With my parents, friends, etc. I get a huge stomache because of a pill I had and I could not sleep until 2am even though I had to wake up early the next day.
Tuesday: I dropped my one and only best friend because of a major reason and we got into a huge fight, currently ignoring her, but I told her off. Then the two people who told on me ruined my future and I have to discuss this tomorrow. I did not even do anything wrong, and they were so rude to me, they just wanted to see my downfall.
I know other people have it so much worse, but please pray for me, it has been a horrible week. | 3 |
I just got broken up with I’m sad I could use a friend | null | 3 |
idk | It seems like everything is perfect but not perfect. I got my grades, it was bad for my parents they were so disappointed I also do know i need to study but they bring it up all the time it sucks.I am so depressed I don't cry much but every day it gets worse. Though my parents can afford to move they won't they like my house but it's so small and i am a teenager yet i don't have my own room my grandma keeps disturbing me she sleeps in my room, my house is small i have no place to relax. And other tiny issues are hurting me like never before.Idk what to do,i can't stop hurting (crying). what do i do this is like my first time | 2 |
Going through cycles of ups and downs but now mostly downs | Just had to vent this out as I am just feeling lost at the moment.
I have a job and a roof over my head, and I can manage to keep my head above water with everything going on. I should be alright, but lately I have felt less and less motivated for work and been exceptionally lonely since the pandemic started. This is probably nothing new and I know I am not the only one going through feelings like this.
I feel selfish for feeling like this and I try to pull myself out of this, but I feel like I am treading water with no direction to go and no relief in sight.
I feel like just curling up and crying. I will have waves of sadness just come up on me.. I pretend to be ok when I talk to my coworkers and my team. I tell everyone that we just have to stick it out and feel like a hypocrite because I don't feel the same as how I speak.
All I can do is endure, but I guess I wanted to vent this out somewhere into the void because I don't want to burden those around me with these troubles that are minor to real issues.
I know I should try to go see a therapist, just don't have the time or maybe I am just worried about what I'll have to confront if I do go.
In any case thanks for reading. | 3 |
I feel pretty bad | I feel sad.
I don't know why, maybe it's for the school, for my social life, i just don't know.
Everything I do is worthless to me.
I spend a lot of time just lying on my bed.
I don't watch movies, don't read, don't watch my phone, just because I feel like I don't deserve to be happy.
I don't want to die, but if I did I wouldn't care much.
I feel empty, i feel an empty space near my stomach.
In my head nothing but a feeling of a big mass of void growing and eating all my thoughts.
If I try to distract from all this, something tells me that I never did anything to deserve some kind of happiness.
I am not alone, I have friends and a family, but nothing gives me relief.
I feel guilty for feeling sad because I know that there are people whose situation is worse than mine, but I can't help myself, and writing this on a subreddit on a random social media makes me feel pathetic.
I just want to throw up all the dark mass of matter that lives inside me. | 5 |
damn I'm crying | just watched I video of a dog who belonged to an old man and would always wait for him outside shops and restaurants. when the old man had a heart attack the dog chased after the ambulance and when he got to the hospital the doctors shut him out so he waited and wait and waited forever | 3 |
I feel horrible rn | null | 3 |
I spat in my mother’s face | My mother is a good woman who has given it up all for us.
At the movement of my rage, I had forgotten how amazing she is.
I had an argument with my brother, he was being extremely rude and I told him he wouldn’t make in in college with that attitude.
My mom, always wanting to protect my brother, jump d in violently.
She yelled at me for 10 minutes straight telling me how I was nothing, and how I had achieved nothing in life, and how I was extremely unsuccessful and how all my achievements were worthless, she proceeded to down play everything I am proud of and all I have ever worked for.
I hear all of this from my compatriots at work and jealous enemies all the time, and hearing those stuff from her...
I don’t know. Others say shit like that to bring me down. It’s out of pure hatred and out of spite and out of the need to drag me through the mud.
Why would my own mother say that?
I confronted her and she continued yelling and I...
I just lost it.
I spat I her face.
I told my girlfriend, because I was feeling disgusted and angry at myself and she kind of broke up with me, telling me that she doesn’t even know who I am.
I hate myself beyond the point of belief. I don’t know what to do and I have no one to turn to...to talk. | 7 |
the last 5 years of school have been rough | My parents are overbearing on my grades, and I have a project due in half an hour about some music thing (thanks for reading past the title, means a lot) in English in which I pick a song I like about gen z or something. Its dumb. I don't listen to lyrical music, I like artists like Toby Fox. I have to find some songs not about love, clean, and its about generational differences, all made after 2000. There's probably only like, 4 songs in existence (although I need 5???? like wtf). And, if I don't turn it in, I'll get an even lower grade, and they'll email my parents.
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Yeah, I'm good.
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I also work 100 hours a week, and my parents call me lazt even though my dad doesn't have a job (this will become a rant, just skip it, r/suicidewatch usually does when I use my main attack which is being plagued by a pedo/psychopath u/rebbec1 who is trying to find me out by looking at my post history), and my mom works 60 hours a week. I don't understand how people do this. I can't ask for a therapist because of my fucking anxiety "what if im wrong", and i cant kill myself because I dont have the balls to do it. I might die from stress. I honestly hope I get some attack and pass out or something and I get to talk to a therapist. I am literally functioning on 4-6 hours of sleep, which is pretty hard. Honestly, I might just skip sleeping. I will stop at day 10 because I dont want to break the record without proof, but I might as well do it. I'm tired of my life amounting to nothing besides meaningless work. I hate it so much.
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90% of you skipped to the end and I understand that, the last paragraph was hectic. At least it only took me 5 minutes to write because of my 60 wpm typing which is the only thing I'm good at.
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Welp, to the 1 person who read it all (10 people will skim through), thanks.
If this blows up, I might be a little happier.
edit: jk a post blowing up means nothing | 5 |
Idk anymore | I’m falling into a bad patch and I can’t hold on anymore and act like everything’s okay... | 1 |
My dog died | He died today in his sleep. He was a shetland sheep dog. He loved being around people. We went to a vet he's been to before. But then something happened afterwards. He got some sort of heart attack, and he was doing bad, and couldn't breathe well. We let him rest for a while to regain his strenght. But when i woke up excited expecting a happy healthy dog, i went to the living room. And i saw he wasn't breathing. Its hard me to write this, but is there anyone who can help me let go? | 11 |
Despirately seeking Nicole | I miss you. I wish you were here. I don't know when or if I'll see you again but I hope I do. Life is not the same without you, and it's been so long I don't want to remember how great it was while I'm without you. I'm reminded of you everywhere. I can't stay home without your name running across the TV. I want to drink, I want to eat, I want to hide the pain with any good feeling I can grab but I'm not. I'm trying to deal with this pain that seems like it should have expired but instead lives in me like a piece of me that will never be fixed. I've made a good life, and it definitely has potential, but it will always be incomplete without you. I am as complete as I can be without you. I hope and pray that I see you again. With love, always your best friend | 8 |
Extensial crisis (?) | I don't want to be here anymore, I just feel so empty. I don't really connect with people my age, I don't think I'll get someone to love and care about. I don't want to see my parents die before me. God, I'll fell likeso useless. I talk with myself most of the time and with the effing posters on my walls.
I just can't do it anymore. Why going on living if you don't have goals ? I'm not gonna say *"Man, I hate this generation !"* or *"I'm so different and unique"* because I'm not and I understand that, but I don't accept (it's hard).
I end up my nights mostly by crying and it seem like Sadness is one of very best friend.
I hope (truly !) that we can built a time machine in near future, I miss back my youth and the 2009-2014. If I have to give up everything to have this, I will. If it coast a billion, I will work so damn hard to afford this, ~~if that's just my young mouth talking~~. I'm really desperate, I don't want to live here anymore, my heart is burning.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if I'm going through like some sort of crisis, I'm so lost. Please, God, help me.
(edit: spelling errors and grammar, I'm sorry) | 3 |
The End of an Era – Next Steps for Adobe Flash | [https://blogs.windows.com/msedgedev/2017/07/25/flash-on-windows-timeline/](https://blogs.windows.com/msedgedev/2017/07/25/flash-on-windows-timeline/) | 5 |
an elevator | I don't know what to do.
I want my life to change, I want to change.
I want to be happy, I want to live.
why can't I live? at some point your mind has nothing to say back to you, I've been here before, still trying to understand how to be happy, and live.
I realize that life is a journey, but what if there is no end, no epiphany, no happy ending.
what if I'm always going to be asking the same question until I die? I'm afraid it is true.
sure, life is what you make it, but what if I never find what makes me happy, what if im always stuck in an elevator, never making it to the next floor.
sorry for the downer but I wanted to speak how I feel. | 10 |
If anyone needs help | Do you have a friend or family member who’s suffering from mental health issues like depression or anxiety? I’m part of a high school initiative that aims to help teens with mental health conditions but have limited access to the support they need because of the current pandemic. If you know anyone who needs help, please fill out this form: [https://forms.gle/44d5ZPErpCBoJUex7](https://forms.gle/44d5ZPErpCBoJUex7) . It will help us figure out how to effectively help teens who are suffering from mental health issues. If you have any questions, please feel free to pm me. Thank you! | 4 |
Entry 1 | ( this happened 6 months ago and there will be 3 entries thank you)
12:46 PM Sat, April 18
It has been 3 days straight that me ang meagan aren't talking. Well we talk but not for long or properly. I haven't receive any replies from her. I think she's bored with me or she is bussy with something. I want to talk to her but I can't. Well we can talk on reddit but it's no use cause it is no like messenger. Plus i cant pm her in messenger cause her mother has her other phone, so i'm screwed. I dont know what she is doing, maybe talking to her bestie or something but I wish her good luck. | 2 |
Silence | The rain stop and the voices come again, no more peace, no mo rest in the night. Hope the rain starts again and found some sleep tonight. | 7 |
Unforgettable fragments |
Well we first met 3 years ago and it was the start of my high school life, it was also the first time to change school so its was kinda awkward at the start. I for the first 2 quarters I was never been interested in you for in fact I was interested to your friends.
I don't know how i got interested to you for the rest months but let me tell you one thing you were different from my other crushes. Not only that you were on a different school, but there was something that makes me wanna talk to you (well it my first time experiencing that feeling). I wondered around and talk tocyour previous friends to know a little bit of background but it didn't scratch the surface.
So i tried to talk to you, then being with the same group with you, then being your partner, and then being a friend to you.
But it was only the start, exactly on Valentine's day I bought 2 books (that I assumed that you like) and hid it to your bag during lunch. The next day you finally it and it was kinda awkward cause we were seatmates and i was thinking that this will fail cause I don't think the books that i bought. But something else happened.
Instead of laughing at it, you were smelling the pages of the book and i was like WTF!? then you proceed to make me smell the book and i awkwardly said it does smell funny (disclaimer she didn't knew yet that I bought the books).
Fast forward to the next year nothing special happened for the first 3 months the day after my birthday. Well during lunch on that day i was talking with my friend about you and he said that i should confess. That shocked me cause not only that it was unexpected but also i was shot down 8 times before you. so i was like "i dont know bro, maybe it will happened like before bro." Then he said "dont be a wuss amd just do it, if you love her then confess your feelings for her."
Too be continued...
P.S: it was 12 incthe morning and i need to sleep sorry. | 3 |
I feel terrible for being constantly sad | Before I say anything, I just want to clarify that I've never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety or anything. I never went to get checked, didnt think it was necessary..besides, I really dont like that term.
Anyways, there are days or even weeks where I feel really sad and unmotivated, where I feel worthless and hopeless and just feel like nothing matters.
The feeling of being unwanted and unloved is strong and overall I just feel really sad and lonely, even though I know I have no reasons to feel that way.
I just turned 30, I'm female, always struggled with weight (I am obese and always go through the cycle of losing weight then gaining it back), I am suffering from hairloss and lost so much hair that I now must always wear a hat, I have slight body deformity which prevents me from looking decent, I am unattractive which means no romace for me (never ever dated or ever had a bf) and I recently got diagnosed with Lupus. I've also always had problems with academics so I'm not a smart person either and I am a major kluts. Basically I am useless and hate myself lol
Anyways, my main point for this long ass post is that once I'm feeling sad and worthless, I end up feeling guilty and stupid because...my life really isn't that bad. It's lonely and pathetic, but not terrible. I have shelter, food, I live in a country where we have privileges (Im in Canada), I have very few friends which is better than having none and I've never experienced any true suffering (I was only bullied in school)
I feel like I should be ashamed of myself for being constantly sad for no reason.
I end up hating myself more because there are people with far more serious problems that validates their sadness/depression, yet here I am whining like a little bitch over something trivial.
I know I can just suck it up force myself to be happy, yanno, fake it 'till you make it...but I really just can't help to feel sad. There are times where my energy is so low because of the emptyness I feel within. I can be having a wonderful day and then suddenly I am in deep sorrow.
Has anyone ever felt guilty for feeling sad because you know there are people who has it worse? How do you overcome the guilt?
I basically wanted a place to just vent and talk so if ya read this, I thank you | 8 |
For those who are really having trouble finding happiness, don't give up no matter what. | Yes, there are those times wherein it feel as if achieving happiness is impossible. However, I want to say that no matter who you are or what your situation may be, you will be able to get the happiness you deserve.
There was a point in my life where even I thought that I wouldn't be happy again. I hated my job, I didn't know where my life was heading, and I got fat because I tried to eat my sadness away. It was so bad that I actually thought about...ending it all.
But what saved me was my girlfriend as she helped me realize what goal I needed to achieve in order to be happy again: I had to return to being the man that she first fell in love with.
It was a very tough road and I nearly gave up as I thought I wouldn't be able to do it. But with a lot of willpower as well as both love and support from my girlfriend, I managed to achieve my goal. Looking back, I can say that I'm glad that I did what I did as me and her have never been happier.
I know not everyone has somebody that will give them the support they need. I also know that different people have different situations and that some have it much harder than others. However, so long as you're willing to work towards that happiness you deserve, you will acquire it. Just don't give up.
I made something to help those who are having trouble when it comes to realizing what their goal towards happiness is, or for those who are having trouble achieving it. I really hope it helps (You don't have to click on it if you don't want to, I just hope that what I've shared has managed to help someone.)
[https://youtu.be/UdXRGZTl3GI](https://youtu.be/UdXRGZTl3GI) | 7 |
I feel so bad | null | 7 |
Brazilian Sadness | I am Brazilian and, incredible as it may seem, I am very depressed. I will describe here the situation of my country ... dollar at R$ 5.23, political chaos, violence, poverty, moral decay, etc. The neighborhood where I live is relatively good, but there are places that you look at and give you depression, because you look at one side you see ten bars, those dirty bars full of drunks, look the other way you see ten evangelical churches, look at the street, everything full of holes, look at the houses, everything old house falling apart, this feeling I call the Air of Poverty, it gets discouraged ... if I could, I would live in Finland or Japan, which are countries where people are educated and that the quality of life is better. | 10 |
Idk if this belongs here but here goes I guess | I feel hugely depressed and feel like I won’t be able to achieve my dreams
The film industry is a shell of its former self, there’s no quality or originality left and its rife with criminals. Any animations are just mindless, empty CGI, what little 2D animation there is has such an ugly art style that I can hardly look at it. And there’s no real story being told. Happy endings are pretty much banned.
I’ve been working on a number of screenwriting projects for several years that I wanted to turn into 2D animated films and TV series, but I feel like the state of the world is making that impossible to achieve. Doesn’t help that I’m a mentally ill, disabled, trans man either. I feel like my place in the world has disappeared before it was even made.
I have a solid idea of what I want to do as a screenwriter. I wanted to do so much in life. I wanted to be like Ralph Bakshi, Jim Henson and Guillermo del Toro all rolled into one. I had so many ambitions and now they’re just gone. I feel like there’s no way for me to make any of these dreams a reality.
Idk where I’m going with this, I just feel deeply depressed. I feel like I shouldn’t be here. It seems like the worlds going to end before I can make any meaningful mark on it. | 4 |
I k*lled my wife | Now you know I’ll do it so let’s get the clothes to me ? | 2 |
are you winning son? | [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1Fv1uKTd-w](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1Fv1uKTd-w) | 3 |
I need some bob ross | Netflix doesn’t have the joy of painting so I watch anime | 5 |
Had a bad day, felt like this could help someone. | [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URQt-CHw9Ak](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URQt-CHw9Ak) | 9 |
Getting out of the well of sadness | For those of who need it, I have a little story that may be able to help in getting out of that well.
Okay, there was a point where life wasn't great for me. I can even say that it was downright horrible. I hated my job, I didn't know what to do with my life, I kept eating to take the pain away. It was a vicious cycle.
Then one day I managed to overcome everything because of my girlfriend. Something happened during a particular day wherein I was supposed to do something for her, I couldn't, and I ended up feeling miserable (I won't go into any details cause it's personal).
She could have easily cried or be upset. But what she did instead was comfort me and told me it was alright, all while hiding the pain she felt. It was then that I realized just how much she has been supporting me. Even when I became a shell of the man I once was, she was still there for me.
From that day forward she became my motivation. I was able to escape my cycle of depression and I worked hard to truly better myself. I can say that I'm back to the happy me that I once was and I can stand side-by-side with her once again.
I made something that may be able to help those of you who are having trouble finding that motivation to get out of the well of sadness. With the right motivation, one is able to do what has to be done in order to make things better for one's self or for others (You don't have to click it if you don't want to, I just hope that the story above alone is enough to help).
[https://youtu.be/Gg0dWWT45Ek](https://youtu.be/Gg0dWWT45Ek)
I hope those of you who are going through those tough times are able to find your own motivation. This is gonna sound cliché but trust me when I say that things will get better eventually, only that it just takes time and effort. | 6 |
You know what hurts? | When you overlook me. You are so eager to talk to me and then when another friend shows up it's like I don't exist to you and you say these words: "we're still friends"
Do you realize how much you are hurting me with those actions?
And that mental pain is felt as physical pain... | 7 |
I asked a girl out | They said they can’t think of losing me as a freind and that’s good and all but I feel like I’m not good enough I asked this other girl out years ago and she said no I talk to her abit and she always says she wish she could find someone like me :( I feel like I’m never good enough | 5 |
All my life | Why have I been so desperately unhappy all my life? | 5 |
Mood: Well... fuck. | Well I have literally for real zero friends and a long ass sob story, anyone up for a long chat? | 8 |
Life is... | Just when I was contemplating about life - thinking how some people knowing theirs are numbered already and me losing the will for it - will I receive a news that a friend fighting a sickness has passed away. Who knew in feeling bad, something can make it even worse. | 9 |
my emotions r hurting me.. | my bday is coming up n i feel lonley.. even worsest of all is im trying 2 craft a break up with my husbando keaton.. he doesnt luv me any more and im going 4 some1 else personal :/.. \*hugs self\* n twiter wont not unban me ;\~; | 8 |
Sad music is a thing | Hey! I don’t feel that good right now, so could you send me some sad music or playlists for iTunes?
Edit: stop upvoting me. I need music, not some crappy upvotes | 8 |
PLEASE TALK. SOMEONE. | I don't know what I feel anymore. Can someone tell me? Am I broken? Am I lost? Am I destroyed? What is happening to me? Why all of a sudden? Why can't I be better? Do I deserve this? What did I do? Please any fucking clue.
I feel dishonored and used and thrown and annihilated by everyone in my life. There is so much pain. My chest actually hurts. My legs feel so much of weight, I can't even stand. I slip against the wall and sit still for hours.
I am not angry at him for dumping me, I still feel so much love but then where is this anger inside me coming from. Why do I feel dead and then ready to throw things at my own people in the next moment? What has got me so triggered? I sometimes think of burning someone's head in hot oil, literally, with no remorse but sympathize them on some petty issue. I feel their pain but I imagine stuff like hurting my own people with so much brutality. All they have done is to stand by my side. Why do I think like that?
Why can't I let him go, after 7 months of continuous pain? I can't focus. I just want to sleep and fade. I can't afford a therapist. I don't know. Help me, someone! Please help me make sense. | 10 |
Survey on Transition to Online Therapy During COVID-19 (18+) | I hope you are doing well during these difficult times. In light of the current COVID-19 pandemic, we are interested to hear about your transition to online therapy. We are a collaborative team of psychotherapists and researchers from New York Psychoanalytic Institute (NYPSI) and Yeshiva University, New York, USA.
We would really appreciate it if you could fill out this 15-minute survey. All responses are anonymous, and this study has been approved by the Western Institutional Review Board.
[https://yeshiva.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_3xjcY3tuCU7ynvD](https://yeshiva.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3xjcY3tuCU7ynvD)
Thank you and keep safe! | 3 |
Traces of you | June 23, 2020, Tuesday.
Traces of you
We last met in May 2018, of course, you wouldn't know and you didn't see me, because you could never meet me. We had no good memories, not even a good story, but you're still a part of me, you're a part of me that I can't forget... And I say that because I saw your picture today and I felt everything I felt when I was younger, insecure... You've always been in my head, I think of you every day, not as someone I love, but... but maybe... I don't know, or maybe I do, but I always try to deny my reality. People say that we will all have a love that will never be reciprocated and I believe that this is true, because no matter how much time passes or how many people I meet, you still come into my head and I say this because today I am in love with someone else and seeing your picture, you made me think, you caused a huge void in me, so here I am, listening to a song and thinking about all the moments, all my dreams and understanding that if you came back today, I wouldn't be able to reject you, despite all the suffering... You know, texts about you have been losing their depth for a long time and I think maybe, this is because I have never really forgotten you, but I have learned to live without you... You were the reason I started writing texts occasionally, you are the reason for all this and maybe you are my source of inspiration, that we all had... Because I've never liked anyone as intensely as I liked you... I honestly, I don't know how to finish this text, because I don't have any more words, you wouldn't imagine how much I wrote and erased this ending, I wish I could do the same with you, just press a key and erase all your remaining traces in me. | 11 |
Any functional depressives here? | I’m currently going through a wave but I’m at least not as bad as I was a few months ago (verging on suicidal). When depressed it removes my ability to do anything about it, i literally just want to lay in bed and be distracted from my problems by wasting time being entertained instead of working to feel better. I want to get better, I want to start exercising again, I wanna leave the house without feeling incredibly uncomfortable. So, people that feel depressed but manage to get shit done anyway, how do you do it? Any advice would be appreciated :p | 15 |
Just recently | I’ve always consider myself a pretty positive person but this week has really gotten to me. Covid did not make me sad I was very positive about it but now I feel like it’s all crashing - I got fired from my job of 3 years, my apartment is being sold (so I may loose it) and I’ve been single for the past 4 and all of it is really starting to get to me. I have to find a new good job considering I am over 25, and decent place to live and lately I’ve been feeling so lonely. I can usually talk myself out of this but being fired is just the straw that broke my back. I feel useless unwanted and unneeded. I really hope it only goes up for here but it feels like so much work | 8 |
Transition to online therapy survey | I hope you are doing well during these difficult times. In light of the current COVID-19 pandemic, we are interested to hear about your transition to online therapy. We are a collaborative team of psychotherapists and researchers from New York Psychoanalytic Institute (NYPSI) and Yeshiva University, New York, USA.
We would really appreciate it if you could fill out this 15-minute survey. All responses are anonymous, and this study has been approved by the Western Institutional Review Board.
https://yeshiva.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3xjcY3tuCU7ynvD
Thank you and keep safe! | 2 |
What's it all about? | Life eh | 6 |
First time posting to reddit just wanted to get out there without many people knowing | Why can’t we go back. Back to when things were all okay. Back when times were simpler. Back when riots weren’t breaking out left and right. Back to when Instagram wasn’t political. Back to when we would spend hours upon hours with friends and nothing really mattered. Back when people weren’t thrashing others for having different opinions. Back when people wouldn’t shit on you for having quote un-quote bad taste in video games. Back when math class didn’t have letters. Back when music wasn’t vulgar. Back when on the car ride home we would fall asleep but still know when you hit that one turn before your house. Back when mom or dad would surprise you and say we’re going to \[insert popular amusement park\]. Back when mom or dad would take you to get ice cream without saying where you were going. Back when the biggest flex was having your mom bringing your class cupcakes on your birthday. When stuff just didn’t matter. Being a kid was the shit. Didn’t have to worry about how other people felt, and could just vibe. Have one of the best schedules you could. Wake up. Eat breakfast. Brush your teeth. Get dressed. Hop on the bus. Ride to school. Learn about books. Learn about math. Learn about social studies. Learn the most basic forms of science. Talk with friends at lunch. Ride the bus home. Play outside. Eat dinner with your family. Watch a movie. Beg mom to stay up later than she says. And end up falling to sleep not minutes later. Little did we know that was going to be the best life could get. All you had to worry about back then was making sure your friends still liked you and you didn’t embarrass yourself in front of your crush. I have to say elementary school was the shit. Back when you could tell your parents if you were being called names by the local bully, instead of keeping your feelings bundled up about the dickhead who decided to make your life a living hell just because, ya know fuck it. Back when teachers cared about if you were crying in the back of class. Instead of crying in your room all alone at night with no one around because you didn’t want to be known as a pussy all because you needed to let out emotions you didn’t know you were capable of until you saw the girl you have been crushing on since third grade making out with chad, the fastest pitcher in the school. God dammit Chad. Emotions you didn’t know you had until your mom yelled at you for having a C- instead of your usual A+ because everything was chill until the alphabet was introduced in math class. Emotions you didn’t know you had until your best friend blocked you on all socials because you didn’t play sports and weren’t as popular as they were. Emotions you didn’t realize you had until your mom wakes you up at 4:27 in the morning on November 20th to tell you your dad fucking shot himself. God dammit dad. He needs you right about now. What does he do. How can he appease everyone he cares about? | 2 |
BEETHOVEN - MOONLIGHT SONATA - 1st MVT - on a incredible instrument ..Pure SADNESS | BEETHOVEN - MOONLIGHT SONATA - 1st MVT - on a incredible instrument ..Pure SADNESS
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbIj40ZEF0s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbIj40ZEF0s) | 3 |
Feeling sad... | Im emotional drain. Financially drowning. My husband lost his job due to COVID-19 back in March. Still waiting for his unemployment. Im the only one working. We missed one payment of the car insurance and his mother is up our butts asking why the heck we have not paid it. The DMV sent him a notification that they will suspend his license if we don't activate the car insurance again. Yet I know some people drive without car insurance. Im the only one paying for Rent, Electric, Water and Internet 😣 Lost my Mom and Aunt recently.... Sooo Im grieving as well. My Dad won't talk to me much... I think he still sad that my Mom is gone. Have not filed taxes yet. Im soo exhausted. I need a miracle by next month. Hopefully they will approve the 2nd stimulus check 🙏🙏🤔🤔😣😣😣 | 5 |
I hate my life it’s a nightmare | I feel so alone, i have a girlfriend though but i don’t feel the same as she does, she loves me and I am not sure how i feel. i just hate life i might just leave this world. Please help me. | 7 |
I finally moved on but i am not okay yet | I have moved on finally after a hard long time of crying and feeling painful but i have realized that my character have changed alot ,i was so social now i am not ,i try to avoid talking to anyone,even though i don't miss or i even forgot the person that i loved, but still i would love to stay alone more,i used to be a calm person and i didn't get mad at anything easily, now i get mad at everything around me,sometimes i feel less confident about myself,i feel like something is missing in my life,but i actually don't want to fall in love anymore ,i feel scared of being broken again | 2 |
Sometimes I have this sadness which overwhelms me to such extent that I feel sharp pain inside me. The pain is so acute that I start to cry. Such Sadness Attack makes me so vulnerable and I long for some lonely time. What is this? | null | 3 |
Sitting up because going to bed is painful... | It's 3:15 am ... I'm supposed to be up for work in 4 hours but my dog wakes me up in 3 ... I just don't want to go lay down. I miss my wife too much and wish I had her with me ... I think about joining her but can't put them all through that ... It's not enough to see her picture before bed, I need her.
I am so sad. | 5 |
Do you ever have one of those stupid days? | The day when you get nonsense from people online and it makes you question people's sanity? I posted comments on different social media and got that today. I asked someone why their dog was wearing something. I said some people can hate someone even if they work with them. I asked why a historical person was evil. All I got was insults and arguments. Its not a big deal but it makes me question how intelligent and sane some people are. Why can't someone ignore a comment they don't like? | 6 |
My type of sickness | My hands freeze as my heart beats a mile a minute. I feel hot and sweaty-as though sweat were pouring out from me.
My hands finally start to move, only to tremble while my stomach feels as though thoroughly knotted.
My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach as my body hums in anticipation as I think of all the things that will go wrong in that exact moment.
I feel sick as I breath in and out, trying to slow the blood rushing through my vains. | 2 |
Friend zoned. | So I met this guy I wasn’t really into, he was really full on saying that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We was texting video calling then I was acting completely normal about it even tho I felt uncomfortable about the things he was saying. Then he wasn’t texting as much and I got the impression that he wasn’t really into me anymore. I was relived in a way because I didn’t really like him. But it started to bother me so I text and asked him why had he stopped contacting me as much. He said that he had started a new job and we wouldn’t have much time together anymore so we should just be friends. I feel really sad about and worried. Why do I feel like shit if I wasn’t really into him? Has anyone else had this happen to them? | 7 |
Tired of feeling sad | I've had a really rough week mentally, and my sadness has gotten so unbearable that I don't look forward to waking up in the morning. I'm so exhausted from dreading when the next major spell of sadness will hit me. I'm so damn tired. | 5 |
Why do bad thing happen to good people | I ask this question a lot | 5 |
Have you ever had a bestfriend who died suddenly? Mine has passed away last new year's eve. I need some thoughts or encouragement or even stories to help me through it. There are not so many reading materials out there that is specific to this .. | null | 2 |
I’m crying rn because the thought of one day losing my dog hurts | She’s the most boring dog ever, she’s about 6 years old and she only really barks and eats but I love her to death, we don’t really have a name for her but she listens to the name “pretty girl” so we call her that. I don’t wanna lose her | 8 |
I found a dog outside of my deck yesterday, apparently the owner wasn’t taking care of him and left him to die 🥺 | null | 6 |
Sadness in 3 words | Wow such empty | 3 |
sad | idk what is wrong with me ~ im just sitting here crying for no reason.
whats wrong with me? | 4 |
I’m such a fool. | I want to stop feeling like I’m such a fool because I made a bad decision... I know one day I’m going to forget about it, but I wish I could let it go now. | 8 |
Feeling lost | hey i jus wanted to be 100% honest with u, i rly like u, as in like like u, n if u do as well then thats great, and we can talk ab it, but if u dont, thats also fine, im still more than happy to be friends and keep what we have, im mature enough to not let it affect our friendship, im happy to have u in my life either way, so yh, jus puttin that out in the open, no pressure x
i sent this to a girl ive been in love with for months, weve cuddled, kissed, and sleep on facetime every night, but never labelled it as anything. i sent her this, and she said she didnt feel the same..... she said she was happy being friends, but that was 4 days ago. she hasnt called, or replied at all. i feel
lost idk what to do :(
17 Male btw | 6 |
I just need a place to rant | I don't want to say her name, so I'll just replace it with Jessica or something like that. This past school year was the first school year that I had a huge crush. Jessica and I talked all the time and I felt a bond with her that I had never felt with anyone before. Around Valentine's Day I found the courage to finally confess my feelings for someone for the first time in my life. I asked her out on a date and she said yes. Turns out that was a complete lie. The next day, I had to go on a trip for the club I was a part of that was hundreds of miles away. As soon as I leave, she completely ghosts me. That week was the worst week of my life. I was already dealing with severe anxiety and depression(which she knew) and the only person I had ever opened up to ghosted me when I had no way of speaking to or contacting her. Near the end of the trip is when she finally decides to friend zone me after I had already thought about the worst possible reasons why she chose to ghost me. We decide to just be friends and I think everything's fine. A week later, and I find out that she hooked up with another guy. I found out when I saw her in his arms. Right there, I saw every thing I ever wanted and it crushed me. I still tried to be friends with her for about month after that, but it was clear that she didn't want anything to do with me. I finally confronted her about how she treated me like I wasn't there and that she talked to me in a dismissive tone even when I was having serious conversations with her. The only response she gave me was "I don't know what to say." That same day, the go error sent us all home from school and I've been almost completely alone since. I just wanted to put this out some where because clearly bottling up my sadness and rage isn't working. Screw you Jessica. | 6 |
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