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Loss | My cousin, one of my closest friends perished in a freak accident last Sunday at 23 years old. She was a rare soul, one to bring meaning in people's lives by existing. Beautiful, radiant, wise beyond her years. There are no words. I don't know how to recover, she left an enormous void. RIP Mira, there will never be another like you. | 6 |
I wish I had someone whose shoulder I could cry on... | I just wish someone would hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I wish someone would tell me they love me and that they are there for me even if its hard for them to be there. Someone who is genuinely concerned for my well being.
It seems as though everyone around me--all of my relationships, have fallen. No one is there for me to help me or make me feel better. And I know I shouldn't depend upon people to make me happy. I have to be the one who finds that.
But today was a really hard day. All I wanted was just one person to ask me how I was doing and to come over and just let me cry on their shoulder. No one seems to care about me. Though I can and do hide my sadness pretty well, I think.
My boyfriend doesn't even care that I am sad. He didn't even come over to help me. | 8 |
I was going to post a picture, but... just fuck. Just fuck it. I don't | http://imgur.com/S5v5jhL
i just don't care | 5 |
A half empty can of dog food | My fiancee's dog was died after being hit by a car, and the most painful thing for me was realizing that I fed him half a bag of food yesterday morning, and I had to throw away the other half. I think that might be the most heart wrenching feeling ever.
Also, this subreddit feels like the room of requirement from Harry Potter. It's there's when you need it, but you have to look it. | 7 |
The car crash. | It happened all so fast heavy with sleep my eyes closed
The next thing I remember was crawling out from the car and
Seeing you lying there
Holding your head kissing you for the last time
The taste of blood on my lips
Your clothes torn apart perfumed with gas
It seems like it was yesterday when the rain poured down
I can still hear your screams as if it was happening all over again
Saturday, december 4th that night would become a grave
That would crush my heart
Joy and laughter exchanged for grief and silence
Searching for so long to find you and the moment I did
you were ripped from me
Laying here on this empty shelf never to be read again
In these pages lie every memory of you
The wind blew your heart over my eyes and I slept for days
Praying not to awake, but these dreams can only last so long
Facing the day looking through these tears
I'll always look back and remember that night as you lay there
Looking over that casket seeing your face times of the past rushing by
Touching your cold hand wishing it would touch me back
You look so pretty lying there just like the first day we met
It feels so real like old times but it's nothing, it's nothing
I can taste the stale air on my tongue and death lights up the sky
Hope finds itself an end stopping at my thoughts
Pictures of you help bring back the tears
Walking in the present but living in the past
How much longer will I embrace sorrow?
From the moment you entered my life
My whole outlook on love would change
You brought out a happiness I didn't even know I had
And now you've gone leaving without a goodbye
That glass heart that rested in my chest has fallen and shattered
Here on lord is the remains of a broken heart
For I have faith you can give me joy and life again
Death has fallen but love covers me
Heaven is now home to my angel of love...
| 5 |
Magnificent. | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to7uIG8KYhg&feature=player_embedded# | 2 |
Shh. Just listen. | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=equvoqUT1VM&feature=related | 4 |
Join Our Official Discord Server for Anxiety and Depression Support! | Hey r/AnxietyDepression,
I'm excited to announce that we're opening a new Discord server for our community! This server will serve as a safe space for those who are struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues with a goal of real-time communication, more personalised interaction and better organisation.
It will be an inclusive and supportive community where people can share their experiences, get advice, and connect with others who understand what they're going through. Whether you're looking for a listening ear, some helpful resources, or just a place to hang out with like-minded individuals, you're welcome here.
The server will be moderated by a team of volunteers who are committed to maintaining a positive and respectful environment for everyone. We'll have channels for different topics, such as mental-health, resources, and general discussion, as well as a space for venting and support.
To join the server, simply click on the Discord invite link below. We're looking forward to seeing you there!
[Discord server link](https://discord.gg/gpksXdgNEp) \- **https://discord.gg/gpksXdgNEp**
Best regards,
Leo | 14 |
I’m not sure what I’ll do after I graduate college. I feel like I will eventually go into a downward spiral and kill myself. | This is just something that’s been on my mind. I’m currently going to be a Junior in college, I’ll be pursuing an undergrad in psychology. I don’t bring my major up because it’s embarrassing at this point. I keep seeing so many people saying it’s useless and I feel like I am wasting my parents money. I keep thinking that there are opportunities for me out there, but maybe im wrong for thinking so positively. I don’t know what job I’d want. I have a general idea but I don’t know. My focus is to move out of my parents house and get a decent paying job, but will I be able to support myself? Im scared of ending up homeless. I really feel like there will be a point where I’ll consider suicide again. Im not just worried about whatever job I have. How will life be like socially? How can I continue to live? I don’t want to commit suicide for several reasons and it’ll just make everything worse for other people. But I feel like I won’t really be a productive member of society, I’ll always be dependent on my parents, and I’ll end up with a shit job and just very, very suicidal.
I really don’t know what is in store for me.I really feel like I wasn’t meant to live very long and I’m just wasting my time. I feel like I am an embarrassment. | 5 |
The call of the void? | null | 2 |
What helps | Ive been battling severe generalized anxiety disorder for 3 long years. Ive tried a ton of different meds. Except xanax for obvious reasons. I wont take addictive meds. Because addiction seems to run in the family. But every med I've taken i suffer from a bunch of the side effects. I have at least 10 panic attacks a day. I only go out if i have to work or food shopping. My doctor is good. She has yet to give up on trying to find something that works. Im just losing hope. I want some relief. Its affecting every facet of my life. Im bordering on full on anti socialness. I mean i was never a social butterfly but i would get involved in conversations now i just nod really unless asked a question. Please help. | 1 |
Any energising antidepressants that won't make anxiety worse or do they all increase anxiety | null | 5 |
My job is driving me towards a mental breakdown | I’m currently working in a role that has a very small team (me and a manager) and at first i thought it was a pretty decent job and that my manager was super great. I didn’t get much training at all and up until maybe a half a year on the job i wasn’t doing much. I have tried to learn things on my own but it’s hard because everything online is super general and not company specific obviously.. one day to the next i was assigned so many things without much explanation bc i was there for a while so there “wasn’t much of a need” and i started to feel extremely overwhelmed,stressed and anxious. i have been down a really bad depressive state that i thought i was going to go crazy. i finally talk to my manager about how i was feeling (which took a long time because I’m such a people pleaser and hate conflict) and at first she was understanding but now that she “helped” my workload she prohibits me of doing anything else besides just the things she wants me to do and says i have no room for mistakes since my workload is less thanks to her. Every time i go to work Im nervous and anxious about making mistakes that I’m constantly asking questions for clarification or because I’m confused and she always get mad and makes me feel incompetent and stupid. Has anyone had a similar experience and if so how did you handle it? I’m at a loss and I’m at a breaking point where i don’t even know what to do anymore. | 1 |
Overthinking | So I have a really strong mind when it comes to overthinking as in it can completely take over me and make me feel super anxious. I have convinced myself multiple times about having certain health issues and it drives me crazy even when I get a doctors approval that I’m fine it’s still in my head.
How do I overcome this? | 2 |
My mom is literally turning my hair gray and I just don't know how to deal with her | A year ago she found out my dad was cheating on her and decided she was gonna brake up with him but she stayed with him for a while until she could find a house for me and her cause my sister was going to Spain for a masters degree in 2 months, but after a while my mom started to act literally like a crazy person cause and one day after she attacked my dad cause she saw him texting his AP I called the cops to stop the fight and he ran away before they arrived and then my mom grabbed all his things and threw them to the street.
The next day my dad came back telling her he was sorry and shit and after 2 days she asked me if she should give him a chance, I told her she was old enough to decide and she let him in the house again, after that my sister ran away with a dude she just met and used what was happening between my parents as an excuse so my mom turned even crazier because of that, after that my dad and I have been trying everything to make her go back to normal but she is literally bipolar af.
I even made them go to therapy and the therapist said she needed to go to a psychiatrist but she didn't wanna go cause "she isn't crazy", the last thing we have been trying is buying a house cause she wanted to get her own house since I was a kid but houses are expensive af in here, we have seen 2 apartments in like a month and we decided not to buy the first one cause the owner was rude af and tthe 2nd one cause the seller was asking for a lot of money before they even gave us all the documentation but she got mad and has stopped talking to my dad, acting like a spoiled kid, after seeing her attitude I started to calm her down and looked for other houses on sale online and sent her a post but she didn't even reply.
When I came home after work she told me to stop looking for houses cause she gave up and I didn't even reply to her, she is literally killing me with that attitude, sometimes I just wanna run away like my sister did but I know that if I do it and shr brakes up with my dad she won't have nowhere to go so I don't wanna abandon her but I also wanna have peace so I don't know what to do. | 1 |
Took some time off work, and business is suffering because of it. Feeling immense guilt; what should I have done? | I run a business, and since three months ago, I have been diagnosed with moderately severe situational depression stemming from chronic burnout over a few years, marked by hopelessness, helplessness and emptiness, dissociation, psychosomatism (palpitations, tremors, hyperventilations), and suicidal thoughts. Also, I've been clinically diagnosed with trauma, which manifests in immense anxiety on anything/anyone related to work, which means I still can't open/reply email, or have any discussion on work at all. Fast forward three months, I've been ruminating whether I made the right sequences of choices:
1. For a month after the onset of my depression, I was still working, albeit less productive (approx 75% of my regular productivity). I shared about my condition to my business partner, and asked him to cover on some key business tasks.
2. After the first month, because my condition was deteriorating, I decided to take a month off, and my business partner would continue to lead the company.
3. After my one month of leave, I haven't felt better (and in fact, some symptoms continue to deteriorate, and my score on depression scale went up again). Hence, I decided to extend my leave by one additional month. As per the first month of leave, I didn't worry about taking the break because I trusted my business partner to lead and handle everything. During the two months off, I went completely offline, mostly about the worsening anxiety and trauma, and its manifestation in passive suicidal thoughts and physical symptoms.
In the last couple of months I was away, some things at work had not gone as per planned due to my absence, and as a result, the company had to let some employees go, and there is a chance we might have to shut down. I thought my business partner would be able to keep things afloat and move things forward, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case in the last two months.
In the last few days, I've been feeling guilt for taking the time off, but at the time it was something I desperately needed, because I was struggling so bad. What would you have done if you were me? | 5 |
Feeling extremely lost | The only way I can describe how I feel right now is defeated. I'm just too tired and exhausted to cry or panic anymore. I just feel dread bearing down on me and I feel like it's actually for a pretty small reason.
I'm entering my last year of highschool and I'm just really worried about my future which I'm sure is something that all students feel. But I'm so unsure about what I should do with my life because holding a career that I don't even have much interest in seems so stressful. There's a lot of pressure on me to go into STEM but I like humanities and fine arts but I'm not even good at them. I just feel like there's no role for me in this world.
Also, I live in Canada and the cost of living and housing has just been sky rocketing and it makes me feel even more hopeless. In the future I want to start going to therapy to help with some other stuff like trauma but at this point it just seems unrealistic. | 2 |
Today's Breakfast of Depressed Champions | Today's breakfast was one of those giant muffins you get at the gas station. Strawberry cream to be exact. Just finished at nearly 1:00. Took all day, it was freaking delicious but that means I skipped lunch, which was also sad so no loss.
Any other sad meals share? | 1 |
Lost my job and gf within a week. Now I probably won't be able to pay my rent. Having really bad thoughts, I don't know what to do anymore.. | I'm really out of options now....
My gf left me. She claimed I was lying and two faced because I was telling people things that she didn't want other to know. I wasn't and she didn't believe me. I said people start rumors all the time. She didn't believe me. That hurt because I felt like I lost her trust and hurt her somehow. I don't like hurting people, especially when it's the ones I love...
She wanted space.
next day I had a manic episode at work and had a big breakdown in front of the entire staff. I know freaked her out when she heard and overwhelmed her. She said we needed space a few weeks ago and it was officially over Friday. I've been drinking before work every day for 2 week s because being at work was giving me anxiety.
Also rumors where stared at work about me and her since some of my co workers are mutual friends with my now ex.
The higher ups have noticed how I've been acting different at work. Not myself . Depressed and a total wreck most of the time.
My manager saw my open alcohol bottle in my backpack. Was fired on the spot. I also had it slightly on my breath.
Got fired and now my ex is looking at me like I'm crazy.
I was a supervisor at a retail company, worked there for 5 years. Always on time, super dependable.
Things got bad when I found out my sister is in prison for having drugs on her. This was a month ago. She's my big sister, my best friend and is a homeless drugg addict now. My mom is living out of her car trying to support my little brother. I live on my own in a studio apartment.
I felt an intense amount of depression knowing I am nowhere near where I want to be in life. I want to help my sister and little brother do good in life. I got depressed because I can't do anything for them because I'm just a stupid retail supervisor.
I was supposed to be the good one. The one who made it in life.
I brought that bad negative energy into my relationship and at work.
The general manager told me my performance has been going down for a month. That's around the time I got the bad news about my sister. Also that's when things became rocky in my relationship.
I overwhelmed my ex with my anxiety and depression. She said she needed space and we should talk less for the moment. I did not handle it well...
For the past few weeks I've been doing pain killers until I pass out from taking too many at once. I go into work intoxicated because I don't want the anxiety of being in a place where everyone is looking at me different and crazy. Everyone noticed I wasn't myself. There's people who look up to me there and I let them down.
Got fired Tuesday. Gf said it's officially over and now I'm jobless with a termination under my resume. 5 years of building my reputation. And now because I was too weak to handle my emotions like a man, it's all gone. I'm 29.
My employer still wrote me a letter of recommendation, and said he'll check on me every two weeks to see if I'm okay.
They know how I am. A team leader who everyone can work with and was always super dependable.
They're just concerned for my well-being at all his point..
They even said this isn't me and once I'm back to 100% I'll be able to return maybe.
They even said they'll do a separation, not a termination. Idk if they just said that or not.
I broke down in tears Tuesday night after I left the building from being fired. I got fired in the middle of my shift.
i was still drunk from when I started in the afternoon. I went to the liquor store, continued to drink until about 11pm.
I went to the highest parking garage in town , drunk out of my mind. I was gonna jump, but the fall probably wouldn't have killed me.
I passed out in the the parking garage staircase. Crying alone.
Non of my friends are responding to me because I've been manically texting everyone for the past week. They all are tired of me at this point and think I've gone completely crazy.
Maybe I have.
I have enough to pay rent, but it leaves me with $300 and I have other bills I cannot pay now.
I'm alone. And I'm not sure where I'll be in the next few weeks.
I built my entire life in this new town for 8 years just to have it crashing down in a few weeks.
I feel like I'm out of options. I wish I wasn't weak. I wish I listened to her when she kept telling me I'm doing the best I can.. looking back it was probably all in my head, she tried to tell me I think. Everyone said I was doing fine..
now everyone knows I'm crazy and are laughing at me..
My reputation is gone, my friends are gone and I'm left to do nothing but probably be homeless. Id rather not exist. I don't want to live with this humiliating shame and pathetic thing I call my life..
I just don't want to feel bad anymore.... | 3 |
I keep feeling suicidal, it's more intense than before, idk how to stop it and why even there's nothing bad happen in the moment | The title, i tried multiple times to ignore it but i can't seem to stop. | 3 |
Misunderstood and feeling alone than ever | I feel I am a vey misunderstood person actually I know I am. I feel as though I’ve gone my whole life and I genuinely mean my whole life since a child of always being misunderstood.
I am now 19 F and I feel I cannot talk to anyone or open up because I am very misunderstood and no one seems to understand even the smallest thing. Am I just feeling misunderstood and maybe whatever I’m feelings is just something I shouldn’t. Could this be linked to either depression or anxiety. I have never gone to be diagnosed because I am afraid and even though sometimes I feel like I need help I think maybe it’s me being stupid and I don’t want parents or anyone to find out. If I was to see glow any tips on how to keep this hidden until I can feel like I can tell them.
I have such an amazing lovely family and they always say that they are their for me but truth is they are not or they can’t be because they don’t know me. I was born after 8 years and have older siblings I am the youngest and the age gaps are big my oldest sibling is 32. While they are amazing and supportive and have always given the best advice I have always lived by they do not know me at all and I think it’s hard for them to know that because they truly believe they know me. My friends know me more better that my family and I know me better then anyone else.
Every time I try to talk or even say my side they think I’m defensive or can’t admit to things but I know I can because I genuinely can. I have a hard time expressing my emotions and never talk about how I’m feeling. I feel so isolated and alone and recently my father passed away 5 months ago and feel even more alone because I don’t have anyone as they are all close in age and I’m not so I feel I will never be able to have them as a friend and they have each other.
I feel so lost and hook and have felt this way since a child I have always wanted to die and have thought of it often as young kid but have never told anyone and feel this way now. Since a young kid the thought would come into my head to harm my self but my religion does not allow suicide so I think this is what has always stopped me. I don’t know what to do and talking to my siblings is not an option because I’ve tried to explain several times but just makes me feel more misunderstood and hurt and more alone than ever and feel as though I am suffocating.
Any advice or tips would be great 😊 | 3 |
Extremely weird tongue sensations - tingling, burning, numbness, and dryness. Is this anxiety? Is that actually possible? | If this all anxiety it’s crazy it can affect you like this. I’ve had 90 tests and all my health is fine. | 2 |
Weekly Mod Post: Helpful Tools Thursday | Happy Thursday Everyone!
This is a recurring weekly post that is geared towards helpful tools that you want to share with others.
What is a helpful tool you may ask? It could be a book, a local, state, or federal resouce, a website, an app, anything that you find helps you with your anxiety and/or depression.
We are excluding music from this weekly post because music has it's very own post on Mondays! So please do not post music/music videos/bands here, please post those on the Monday posts.
Please keep sub-rule #2 in mind when posting/commenting. That rule focuses on no promotions, solicitations, and/or spam. This is not a place to promote your personal business, surveys, services, etc. This is a post for people to share useful tools that have helped them cope with their anxiety/depression. | 1 |
Do you ever feel like some therapists just don’t get it? | I went to group therapy last night and the nights topic was anxiety. In a discussion about avoidance the therapist goes on to talk about a hypothetical situation with a person who is anxious about bills and doesn’t check her mail for bills as a result. The point she was trying to make was that doing the thing we are anxious about will lower our anxiety.
It was just really lost on me because it’s not how my anxiety works. I’m not worried about bills or things like that. My anxiety is constant worry that I’m doing something wrong, that I’m a failure, etc. I worry I’m going to be alone all my life, never have a family, or that I’ll never be happy again. It’s like I’m always waiting for the next shoe to drop even if there isn’t one, but there is always another shoe. I’m just in a constant state of guilt and shame and waiting for the next crisis. Moments of happiness don’t matter because I’m always waiting for it to be taken away from me. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s more of a PTSD situation than straight anxiety. | 12 |
Fight or flight | Anyone have any tips for breaking out of fight or flight? | 5 |
How do I stay positive when I’m in a dark place? | I’ve been in a bad spot since last week, I haven’t been working in almost 2 weeks so I’m dealing with a financial situation, my package got stolen last week Saturday, I got recently hired for a job but it’s been 3 days and the manager still haven’t give me my paperwork to feel. It fell like the universe is just against me at this moment.
It feel like I’m dealing with a lot of bad luck. | 4 |
Cold showers are my game changer. | null | 1 |
Should I go to the emergency room ? | Is it anxiety or a heart attack I feel pain in my heart now it's true that I've been dealing with so much stress lately and a lot happened but my heart never ached this way before its like a needle or a knife stabbing my heart or how u feel when u get shoked or surprised by something (I've been so sad lately could it be the reason?) | 2 |
How do you bring yourself to eat when you're hungry but have just lost all desire to eat and can't force it into you? | Hopefully this is a good place for this question. I've been having a lot more struggles with depression and anxiety lately so think maybe this is related in a mental health way as well.
About 6.5 weeks ago I was hit in the head by something falling and suffered a pretty severe head injury, one part of it was a concussion obviously. I've had issues with depression and anxiety since I was a little kid and since the accident they've gotten worse and became more frequent. Another way its effectsd me is I've became a picky eater, where before I would of ate anything. I've always been big into weight lifting and would eat large amounts of healthy food. I've a very fast metabolism and a very active job so at times I've been eating as much as 4500 calories a day, a lot of the times now it's probably closer to 1000 calories I'm eating a day.
Since the accident tho I just keep losing the desire to eat. Sometimes I can eat fine, other times I get picky and just can't bring myself to find anything that sounds appealing and won't eat. Other times I'll be hungry and pick something to eat that sounds good and then in the middle of eating I just start getting where I just lose the desire to eat, I'll still be hungry but can't bring myself to force the food into me and stop eating. It's really getting to me now and just making the depression even worse to the point I start tearing up just thinking about it which isn't like me at all, I've always hit points over the years where I feel like I'm going to burst out in tears and it's so hard to hold it back but I do always hold it back. Last night it broke me tho when I was watching a movie with my dad and brother and I just kept getting tears running down my face, thankfully they were focused on the TV and didnt notice but its never gotten so uncontrollable before. I'm scared to step on a scale and see exactly how much weight I've lost but I know I've lost at least 10lbs already.
I'm not sure if struggling to eat is really a mental health issue or what but with the other intensified mental health issues I've had since the accident I thought maybe it could be so possibly this could be a good place to ask for help, I tried posting in r/medicaladvice first but got no replies so sorry if this is the wrong place to be posting this.
I've tried weed to stimulate my appetite a bit and even with getting stoned I can still just lose desire to eat in the middle of a meal and end up not finishing it. It's really starting to get to me, I'm just seeing all the hard work I've put in in the gym disappearing on me and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice or tips? It would be hugely appreciated, thank you. | 8 |
My cardiologist prescribed me escitalopram for a month only. Is it safe to take for only 1 month short term? | null | 1 |
Suffering with severe depression and anxiety, constantly exhausted unable to focus in the daytime housebound with fatigue dizziness but unable to get to sleep at night, why do sleeping tablets have no effect on me? Seem to be more alert at night . Brain never stops all day long but body is exhausted | null | 11 |
Lightheadness on computer | Lightheadness on computer
Hello all,
I, 32 years old male have some lightheadness or dizziness when seated on computer, do you feel the same with anxiety or it's different for you ?
It's a symptom from anxiety or could it be POTS ?
Thank you | 1 |
This feels so weird to be asking for help. | I considered making a separate account so that nobody can see it was me.
I have worked for years to become the person I am. I have worked so hard to create the life I did not have as a child, for my children. I have not had an anxiety or panic attack in so long that I’m not even sure what is going on at this moment with my body. I’m normally so upbeat and positive and I always offer help, try to be positive and kind. I looked for a sub that maybe would fit what I needed better than this one but, it just made me so uncomfortable.
Not long ago my world was perfect. I had the perfect family, the perfect life. Everything was perfect. Soon, I will have a new DIL and grandchild. This girl has done nothing but exclude me from everything and I have to fight to be involved in anything. I am not stupid, but this girl talks to people like they are stupid. Her family and friend say “it’s just the way she is”We have all been so kind and so nice and so welcoming to her and the way she treats us is just so unfair. I have felt my depression creeping up over the last week or so and today it just bottomed out. I can’t even pick out a simple babies outfit that’s acceptable for her. Nothing I like is good enough and I don’t know anything about babies even though I have three children, two of them have made it to adulthood already and one’s not that far behind. I feel like I can’t say anything because if I make her mad, it will cause problems for my son. I would never want to put my child in that position. She’s the type of person who will just cut somebody out of her life no matter who they are parent or not and five months ago she didn’t even know I existed so I would be an easy cut. My whole world is just spiraling right now. I’m a laugh or cry person and normally it’s a laugh but all I’ve done tonight is cry. I need help, I don’t know what kind of help I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to start. I can’t see past my nose to even start somewhere.
Fuck. | 5 |
Anxiety at night | My anxiety is the worst in the evening, I don't know why but that's a pattern I've noticed in myself! I've been trying to find more natural remedies to help me with this, and something I've found is that lavender really helps! I've been given a discount for the Bodyshop which I do want to use, and I have had a look over their website and they have this sleep range which has pillow mist which has lavender in it. Has anyone tried this and has it helped?? The code is BUZZ20 btw if anyone wants to use it! Just need advice because I really want to use my code on something that's going to help my anxiety
| 1 |
I am truly sad tonight. | My mental health spiralled when I was yhe victim of a false allegation (teacher). I've had counselling and hoped to make it back into the classroom in September.
I went to see a school show tonight of a school I used to work in because I wanted to support a particular pupil. It was the best school I'd ever worked in, staff and pupils alike were amazing. Tonight though, I cried and shook through the whole thing. The kids were so pleased to see me, and I loved seeing them, but it broke me.
After 25 years I know I won't set foot in a school again, and I absolutely resent my crappy mental health for this. I resent me.
I'm 45 I've only ever taught, now I can't. I'm am so sad.
I just needed to vent. Xx | 5 |
Trintellix alternative? | I’ve been taking Trintellix for the last 6 months & it’s the only drug that has made a significant impact on my anxiety/depression. In the last month, though, it has also started making me incredibly nauseous to the point it’s affecting my ability to work. I’ve tried a lot of SSRIs with limited success, Bupropion makes me feel significantly worse, Effexor & Cymbalta each worked for 8-12 weeks before symptoms worsened more than being off meds entirely. Thoughts on what might help in the same way Trintellix does, minus the major nausea? | 2 |
Why does it seem like happiness is only an idea in my head | I have no idea how to make it a reality. Everything that would improve my life are things I don't control. I can't make someone go out with me. I can't make them love me or want to be with me. I can't force people to stop doing or saying things that hurt me. And I can't stop myself from being hurt by it.
Therapy is useless currently. All she does is listen and sit there. I literally could just talk to myself and get a better result. | 7 |
Breakfast of depressed champions. | Trying to cheer myself up so here goes.
I have a microwave breakfast burrito that sat in the fridge all day yesterday after I left it in the microwave. Warmed it up for breakfast. It seemed like the only thing I could make myself eat this morning.
Said sad burrito is now sitting cut into tiny pieces so that I can eat it one bite at a time over the next, maybe, 45 minutes or so. It looks ridiculous for an adult at a desk to eat like a child, but dammit, I'm going to eat that burrito so I don't pass out or anything today!
Anyone else trying to help themselves out in their own special way today? | 5 |
Functional dyspepsia | Functional dyspepsia
Functional dyspepsia
I''m diagnosed with functional dyspepsia but do you know other illness that can cause "only" chronic nausea and brain fog, lightheadness ? Today for example all the morning was very very hard with NAUSEAS and have nothing eat since 20 before so i fasted like 16-17h and when i finish eating i was better
I don't understand why i'm better with eating because GP or Functional dyspepsia should be worse after eating... i have New tests, blood ok, all urine test was ok but i have very acid phmetry | 1 |
Chest pains coming back after starting new job | I was unemployed for a few months, and in that time my fast heart rate and chest pains went away. I felt more regulated. The only time I’d get anxiety was going to crowded places alone, or anywhere I felt exposed. Now that I have a job, my anxiety is once again in full swing. The night before my first day of work, my chest started hurting and it actually felt foreign and uncomfortable. I’m just so sad right now. I’m back the masking as a super positive, outgoing, unbothered person at work. I have to be that way in order to get and keep a job. But it’s hurting me. Idk what to do about this life. It just hehsbfjsbfksndnfnsnfjendjbrjsnfnrjcjwnnsjeurndjwnfb sucks. Is there any way I can mitigate this? | 2 |
I'm just so lonely all the time. | I have always been afraid of being alone. Well, at least since the 4th grade when some kids pulled a mean prank on me. I've never had large groups of friends. I'm surprisingly shy and am convinced that everyone is only pretending to like me for the sake of being nice.
I spent a long time isolating myself from others for fear of getting hurt or left behind. I went out and did things, but usually with my husband. A couple of years ago my depression relapsed and I went back on my medications. When I started to feel better I was able to start work on myself and decided I needed to go out and be social.
And I have a few times and it's been fun and I've always felt better after. And my husband doesn't like to go out anymore and that's fine.
I wanted to go out this weekend and thought I'd try to invite someone else. One person was out of town, the other never gave a for sure yes but acted like they might come, by the time I found out they weren't coming I last minute reached out to someone else but didn't get her message until I got home.
So I spent the day alone. Which is fine. I get why each person wasn't able to join. But the second person, I don't think they realize that they're hurting me by playing with my feelings the way they are. I don't think they realize they're playing with my feelings. This fear of being abandoned by people I care about is damn near crippling and it's always the people I love the most that do it. Now I'm no longer needed as a space filler since an available girl came along and I'm left standing here wondering who can I hang out with now that all my friends have their own friends?
My husband doesn't like me, I'm convinced of it. And like I said, he doesn't even like to go out anymore. No one else ever invites me around. I'm a friend of convenience I guess. If you've got nothing better going on when I call you might come with but nothing is guaranteed, you'll call up when there's a big party where everyone is invited but not if the guest list is too full, there's always something else to do or someone else to hang out with.
I'm tired of trying to make friends and just getting shot down again and again. Then finally making one, and suddenly they're gone and distracted by something else now and I am no longer needed around for company.
I'm always the one who is the company until the guest of honor arrives.
And I know this could very likely be all in my head, I might be blowing everything out of proportion and just need to wake up to reality. Waking up means I have to risk getting hurt, versus just keeping to myself no one else can let me down, and sometimes I wonder if it's worth the risk.
​ | 12 |
It hurts. | Why the fuck am I about to cry myself to sleep with another stress headache? Is this my new normal? | 2 |
Sometimes my anxiety just gets too much and my medication isn't any better. | I have medication for my anxiety but when I take it I feel super drowsy and it interferes with my work and just my life in general and I don't know which is worse nowadays... take a pill and be a zombie and sleep all day or just stay anxious til I can't take it anymore? | 1 |
not wanting to start the day | i wake up very early, but i hate living so much, that i force myself to sleep again for a few hours until i'm finally ready to face the day. anyone else relates? how to stop yourself drom doing that? | 10 |
Sleep deprivation helped reduce my overthinking and social anxiety | Hello, I'm a 28 yo M, I tend to overthink simple conversations and interactions, and that causes me to be anxious all the time.
In the recent days I had a lot of work to do, so I didn't have time to sleep like I usually do (+8 hours per day), it got reduced to (5 to 6 hours) a day, I feel tired and in need to sleep and rest, but I noticed that my interactions with people are way smoother and spontaneous due to the reduced mental capacities cause by sleep deprivation.
What you guys think about that? | 8 |
Jobs for people suffering with PTSD, chronic anxiety or panic attacks | I will try to keep this as short and simple as I can, so bear with me! 🙏🏻 I am almost 25, and have been out of a job for quite some time now. I had worked in retail in the past, then eventually stuck with nannying. Over that time, I slowly developed worse and worse anxiety, which resulted in extreme panic attacks. I forced myself to continue nannying despite the attacks, and last year the lady I worked for ended up moving away. The attacks got out of control again and it has been a nightmare to try and figure out what on earth I can do! 😞 I am in the works of trying to get back to my doctor for further help with my health struggles, but am desperately in need of some form of work to be able to do so. I have been doing lots of research on different job ideas, but I still haven’t been able to find an option that would be doable in light of my circumstances. 😞 Not having a job and the living situations I’ve been stuck in are creating even more anxiety and panic in me, too. It’s all a vicious cycle that has been difficult to cope with. I’m trying not to lose the last bit of hope I have of finding work, getting better, and eventually living out on my own. Any help/ideas would be BEYOND appreciated by not only me, but also my siblings who deeply struggle as well. Thank you so much! 🥀🙏🏻 | 3 |
Amphetamines USELESS since starting Prozac/Wellbutrin - ?CYP2D6 interaction | Long story short, I was well controlled on low dose Adderall (5mg IR 3x a day, for ADHD) only for years. Then I got pregnant, and I experienced perinatal/postpartum depression and anxiety. So, July 2022, I was started on prozac, which was increased and increased to 40mg. That wasn’t enough. So then, September 2022, I was placed on wellbutrin, which was increased to 200mg a day. Then, my adderall was increased and increased up to 60mg a day, because it was no longer effective, no matter what dose. I tried vyvanse 50mg and then 60mg– doesn’t work. I can literally take three 60mg vyvanse pills and it does nothing. Just makes me irritable and pick my skin nonstop if anything, but my focus on anything productive and motivation is shit.
Over the months, I have blamed everything on causing amphetamines to not work. I have tried everything – avoid vitamin C, high protein, drink water, sleep well, food or no food, etc. etc. I kept hoping things would get better… I told myself: After I give birth, it will get better. After 6 weeks pp, it will get better. After I stop breastfeeding, it will get better. After I get my mirena IUD out, it will get better. After I get my period, it will get better. After I change to vyvanse and/or try name brand adderall instead, it will get better. It has not gotten better with any of these solutions I thought were the culprit. I am losing hope and increasingly depressed, more than I ever was to begin with. I have belief that my anxiety and depression comes from untreated ADHD, and right now, my ADHD is very untreated, and my anxiety and depression are the worst they ever have been.
I have spent the past 12 hours reading everything I can on this and am still confused. What I am gathering, maybe, is that prozac is blocking the amphetamine from working in me, which is causing amphetamine toxicity. But I do not understand how its not working and causing toxicity at the same time. Can someone maybe explain what is going on?
I have been to my OBGYN, psychiatrist, PCP multiple times each explaining all of this. Everyone is like hmmm that is so odd.... hopefully it gets better. I am at my breaking point with this all as it has been a year now with no relief in sight.
TLDR: no amphetamine works. They used to work great. When I started prozac and then wellbutrin, that is when amphetamines stopped working. Can you help me understand why?
| 0 |
Summary of Attention Span by Gloria Mark | Free #audiobook | https://youtu.be/qHmRmtmjv0A | 1 |
Which is better for positive and funny feeds? | Hi, is me again.
Medicated(SSRI) anxiety here; started making some changes already. So far in phone terms:
-Delete all social media but youtube, whatsapp, facetime, podcast(idk of count).
-My official Instagram account is on my tablet and only follow girls I like(I’m single) and friends and family. That way I won’t doom-scroll to other peoples life(married and with children).
-I am one of those who pay to avoid ads since I have a little problem with compulsive shopping(weird Im male). So I have reddit(Tablet only) and youtube premium for that same reason.
As I already have youtube for long and short videos. I’m looking for another app for more phone friendly, text and image casual fun.
So I’m between these 4 apps:
-Reddit on phone: it doesn’t seems that optimized for phones and I dont know if long post engagement is a good idea in the phone.
-Twitter just following positive accounts: Although I read the site prioritize anger related tweets.
-Snapchat: so I can look at stories. It seems to have a couple of good creators.
-Second anonymous(not followers) Instagram Account: Just to follow positive and fun accounts and use the personal(friends and post content) one on my tablet.
Which one do you think would have better results?
Thanks in advance. Hope to be med free someday.
Note: I’m doing other lifestyle changes as well I’m asking here just about this related casual browsing for: waiting at doctor, stuck in traffic, etc. | 2 |
I feel myself slipping back into a depressive state and I want it to stop | Please no ive done too much to try and feel better | 7 |
It’s hard when people don’t feel how you feel. | I get random spikes of anxiety and when I tell my partner it feels so little but the feeling I get is so overwhelming. I try to explain it to them but they’ll never really feel the pressure in my chest or the worries I feel when I’m just walking to the store. | 4 |
recent success | i'm a 17m and i've been struggling with very bad anxiety since around november 2021, and the peak was from january 2022 to april 2022, where i was terrified of going outside, and i never got out of my home except for school, which was a nightmare.
in march 2022 a couple friends and my mother started reaching out and thanks to them i started going out again, but since then, whenever i have to go out i need to stay at least 1 to 2 hours in the bathroom having very bad stomach pain and nausea, but now i'm kinda used to it and i can manage it in half an hour in good cases.
last september i found a very loving gf who has helped me a ton, and yesterday was a big day, because for the first time we ate together, which before was a no-go to me, since my anxiety symptoms are stomach related.
this made me very positive about future, i think by the end of the summer i will get out of this situation | 1 |
How can I break out of this depression when I really am the piece of useless shit that I feel like. | Whenever I go looking for advice or tools to help me fight my negative mindset, it’s always written from the perspective that I’m being too hard on myself and I need to give myself a break, but I can’t get passed the quantifiable truth that I am a piece of shit who let’s everyone down.
I don’t feel like this is an opinion, it’s a fact. When reading anecdotes about talented people with imposter syndrome or someone being reminded that somebody looks up to them or admires them, etc. it just further drives home the truth that I am a piece of shit and trying to convince myself otherwise is delusion. The truth is that I have nothing good to offer anyone in this world.
I know there must be a way to work with my negativity and turn it into some sort of motivation, but it feels so futile and hopeless. I don’t need to hear platitudes, I just need to be able to keep dragging my carcass around a while longer to try and lessen the negative impact I’ve had on the people I care about. | 7 |
Brain fog and head heaviness | Does anyone become too self aware of their own consciousness, sensations, ect. Ever since I developed brain fog and frontal head pressure, I’ve spiraled because I feel off. My mind feels dead, my concentration is bad, my word recall isn’t too good either. This has caused me to endlessly try to figure it out, but honestly, it’s like an unsolvable math problem.
The brain fog has caused me to feel paranoid as I sometimes don’t register what’s being said to me. It just takes me longer to process, and I feel like I can’t form thoughts as well. If I have something to say, it feels like this head heaviness is like barrier preventing me from saying it fluently and in the right tonality ect.
Has anyone dealt with bad brain fog for long periods of time and managed to recover? | 6 |
Weekly Mod Post: Music Monday | Happy Monday Everyone!
This is a recurring weekly post that is geared towards music that has helped you, and that you want to share with others.
Have you found a musician/band that has helped you cope with your anxiety and/or depression? A musical outlet that brings you calmness and peace? Please share the music that has been helpful that you want to share with others.
Please consider sub-rule #2 that focuses on no promotions, solicitations, and/or spam. This is not a place to promote your business, surveys, services, etc. This is a post for people to share music that have helped them cope with their anxiety/depression. | 1 |
My friend relies on alcohol as a coping mechanism, how can I help him? | One of my best friends has an alcohol issue. Now this isn’t a “drinking every day” issue but an “unhealthy coping mechanism” issue.
To give background info, my friend had an abusive childhood which has left him with depression, anxiety and trust issues. He’s recently medicated for depression which I like to think helps however he often spirals and feels like he’s back at square one. He’s also began disassociating and having panic attacks which he had thought he’d gotten past already.
He drinks when he gets anxious or if something triggers him. He drank before he confessed his feelings to a friend and continued for hours during the rest of their conversation (him trauma dumping) after she swiftly rejected him. He drank as soon as I calmed him down from a panic attack. He drank during his friend housewarming party when relationship talk triggered him.
After his confession (and being told off by the girls friend for drinking so much) he realised he had an issue, which is obviously good as he’s not in denial. But when he’s in a bad place he doesn’t seem to have anything else to rely, he’s in therapy but I don’t know if they’ve discussed coping mechanisms or anything. An hour and a large bottle of alcohol after his panic attack he seemed so much happier and I don’t know what better alternative there is to help him in those moments.
I know he needs to stop using alcohol at least as a coping mechanism, but I don’t know how to help him when he feels like he needs it, and if it’s okay for him to continue drinking occasionally at say a party or if he needs to stop completely. When he’s in a good mood and just drinks for fun it’s all great. But when it’s just a bandage on a much bigger issues it’s obviously not good.
Any advice would be appreciated | 0 |
My pet bird died and I’m very anxious but I haven’t cried. | I have four birds for the last one year. One of them died like 3 days back. I didn’t sleep in my room that night when I found the bird. The next day I was working in my room (where the birds are) and the others are awfully quiet. That started bothering me so much. Im not very actively thinking about them because they’re finches and I never really interacted with them. It was mostly me feeding them. But im used to having their chirping sound first thing in the morning. The next when I realised they’re quiet, it just started getting anxious at everything else that was happening around me. I came to a friend’s place and I’ve been here for the weekend. I just feel like not doing anything. I haven’t cried or anything yet. I just feel blank, and I’m supposed to go back home in a few hours. What should I do? Why can’t I just cry and get it over with? | 2 |
being in your 20s fucking sucks | i’m 23 and i’m so tired already, i’ve always been tired actually. i’m tired of waking up every morning and having to work (i do love my job just the fact that i have to wake up and work annoys tf out of me), i’m tired of seeing people my age living and actually enjoying it, tired of seeing people get into relationships, tired of seeing them doing “adult” stuff and i feel like i’m stuck at being 19. i hate going outside, i hate seeing people happy, i am just so full of hate now. i’ve always found it difficult to open up to people and now it’s as if i have zero emotions and i literally have nothing to talk about bc i’m scared that i’m boring or people will judge me or everyone hates me. i don’t even know where i’m going with this i just feel so so exhausted. what am i supposed to do in the next five years? will i even still be here lol. i feel so lonely but i love being left alone with no one bothering me, sometimes it gets too quiet but i’d rather live my life quietly than deal with unnecessary drama, and then the cycle repeats itself i get bored and frustrated. i used to talk to many people, make friends, dated a few people when i was 15-19 and then everything just stopped and i started telling myself i’m not worthy of anything and i should be alone always. | 5 |
Feel like my family doesn't care. | To get to the point.. I can not talk to my family about how I'm feeling at all.. I get yelled at called names and to get my life together. I'm struggling so bad with living with my fiance. Bills are piling up, we finally got caught up with rent.. My dad is not gonna help me anymore at all. He told me once I'm an adult I'm on my own. If I go homeless, I'm screwed. I'm struggling so bad with suicidal thoughts, that's all I think about all day. When I try to yell my dad he gets angry.. He never shows any emotion when I tell him what goes on in my head.. | 2 |
Uncomfortable thought: I can’t be friends or around people who i think are better than me |
((((Please be have mercy with the downvotes…
Obviously I have terrible self esteem. I’m in therapy for the last three years. I have so much shame rooted in being who I am.)))
*******
More beautiful/conventionally attractive/smarter/more successful/more exotic
Especially other women, and especially if I think it could make my boyfriend like them better
If they have something on me, even as something as abstract as a different culture, I feel threatened.
But I’m also worried that the “better” people will use me as a comparison to make them look or feel better themselves.
I know how this makes me sound, self centered and shitty, but it’s been an awful defense mechanism.
I’m dating “up” in all definitions, “social” status, money, looks — and I just don’t see how he loves me | 8 |
Heartbroken | My spouse has been dealing with anxiety and depression since early May and has told me that he loves me but is not in love with me. He’s really hot/cold and he has no balance between work/personal life. He works ~60hrs/week. Before all this came around he would always kiss me hi/bye and tell me loved me. Now it can be days if he even kissed me or says he loves me.
Today he told me “we need to talk” as he left for work b/c he feels pressured that he has to say “love you too” when I tell him I love him
I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He used to be so affectionate and loving and now he’s just total opposite. He says we have great memories of 7yr marriage but he just doesn’t know anymore anything 😞 | 3 |
work situations | null | 2 |
Any antidepressants that help with both severe depression and anxiety ( very treatment resistant) only benzos dumb me but still mentally physically exhausted depressed) | null | 2 |
Supplements |
I wanted to try magnesium for anxiety and also facial weight loss. But some recommended me citrate or glycinate. Which one shall I chose? Or can I take both? And also which brand and dose do you recommend me? And should I take it in the morning or at night? And how much does it take to see results please. Or do u recommend other things? | 1 |
I may have some of ghe weirdest habits ever, some real rare conditions | People ask me how and why sometimes I be wondering about that as well . All the explanations, all of the answers I find are always linked to stress and anxiety
It's really weird it's making me laugh through my tears
I haven't even been to war not a dramatic traumatic event
Then why is my body always ready to fight
Always waiting for the bad to come
I'm telling you that I live in the survival mode even when I've got nothing to surpass, to survive
Here is an example , every time I go to sleep my shoulders raise up to my ears my mom noticed that and asked me why so I did my research and found out that it's a common stress response
Wanna hear more
I don't remember the last time I was able to breathe normally, easily
I live with digestion problems I wake up with an upset bloated tummy everyday I have pain all over my body and my muscles are always tight
Why do I live like that?
Why am I like that ? | 1 |
big ball of envy | so i’ve (24f) been having envy and resentment which to be honest turns into sadness. particularly towards a good friend of mine who also happens to be my boyfriend’s sister. she’s literally the epitome of perfection. perfect body, height, genes. she’s incredibly talented and has achieved so much. she’s got a boyfriend just as perfect as she is and god also blessed her with money.
it’s not that there’s any competition. hell, i’ve already lost if ever there was one. but, it’s a feeling i can’t shake off. there’s just so much envy and sadness. my family’s been having money problems, i’m the complete opposite of her in terms of skills, looks, just everything. i feel discouraged and hopeless. i feel inadequate not just compared to her or anybody but as a whole, i’m just not it and maybe that’s why i can’t really love myself and maybe that’s why i’m so depressed. i’m just not good enough. | 2 |
Understanding anxiety symptoms as aberrant defensive responding along the threat imminence continuum | Abstract
Threat-anticipatory defensive responses have evolved to promote survival in a dynamic world. While inherently adaptive, aberrant expression of defensive responses to potential threat could manifest as pathological anxiety, which is prevalent, impairing, and associated with adverse outcomes. Extensive translational neuroscience research indicates that normative defensive responses are organized by threat imminence, such that distinct response patterns are observed in each phase of threat encounter and orchestrated by partially conserved neural circuitry. Anxiety symptoms, such as excessive and pervasive worry, physiological arousal, and avoidance behavior, may reflect aberrant expression of otherwise normative defensive responses, and therefore follow the same imminence-based organization. Here, empirical evidence linking aberrant expression of specific, imminence-dependent defensive responding to distinct anxiety symptoms is reviewed, and plausible contributing neural circuitry is highlighted. Drawing from translational and clinical research, the proposed framework informs our understanding of pathological anxiety by grounding anxiety symptoms in conserved psychobiological mechanisms. Potential implications for research and treatment are discussed.
Section snippets
**Defining features of pathological anxiety**
Anxiety disorders are prevalent, chronic, impairing, and associated with adverse outcomes (Kessler and Wang, 2008, Stein et al., 2017, Beesdo et al., 2009, Shackman and Fox, 2021). In psychiatric nosology, they encompass several diagnoses, with diagnostic distinctions centering primarily on the types of objects or settings that are perceived as threatening, and which evoke a range of symptoms such as tension and physiological arousal, hypervigilance and worry cognitions, and avoidance behaviors
**Threat imminence continuum**
Considerable cross-species research demonstrates that defensive responses to threat are organized along a threat imminence continuum, typically comprising a pre-encounter, post-encounter, and circa-strike phases (Perusini and Fanselow, 2015, Mobbs et al., 2020, Adolphs, 2013, Fanselow et al., 1988, Blanchard and Blanchard, 1989, McNaughton and Corr, 2004, Mobbs et al., 2019). Thus, distinct responses have evolved to anticipate threat and minimize harm, such as vigilance, acute physiological
**Threat imminence and defensive responses**
Extensive translational research delineates several phases of encounter with potential threat (Mobbs et al., 2020, Adolphs, 2013, Fanselow et al., 1988, Blanchard and Blanchard, 1989). These phases are associated with specific defensive responses, as described next.
Anxiety symptoms and excessive expression of defensive responses
According to the proposed framework, pathological anxiety reflects a tendency for exaggerated expression (i.e., greater magnitude and persistence) of these otherwise normative defensive responses (Kenwood et al., 2022, Rosen and Schulkin, 1998, Blanchard, 2017). As such, as a threat becomes increasingly imminent, an anxious individual will show excessive expression of expected imminence-dependent defensive responses which follow the same organizing scheme (Fig. 1; Box 1). In other words,Neural circuitry supporting defensive respondingThe conserved nature of defensive responding offers opportunities for leveraging insight from translational, cross-species neuroscience research to identify potential pathophysiological mechanisms in anxiety (LeDoux and Pine, 2016, Adolphs, 2013, Mobbs, 2018, Robinson et al., 2019, LeDoux and Daw, 2018); but see (LeDoux and Pine, 2016, Fanselow and Pennington, 2017). As the scope of potentially relevant brain regions is wide (Grogans et al., 2023), this review is necessarily selective, and will ...
Source -> [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763423002749](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763423002749) | 3 |
Feeling completely lost | I'm definitely in a low place right now in my life. I feel like I'm trapped, and my depression and anxiety are both weighing heavily on me almost daily.
It's difficult to know where to even begin to explain where I'm at and why I'm where I'm at because it's a long story. So, I'll try to keep it brief but still coherent and with just enough detail to add "depth."
I was emotionally and verbally abused growing up by my dad. He was always expecting perfection, which isn't actually possible (especially for kids), so I often felt like I was walking on eggshells. I rarely seemed to get praise, and when I did, it felt hollow because I'd have to go back to figuring out how not to anger him. I wasn't even a bad kid! I was quiet, kept to myself, studied hard, never did drugs, never drank, never spent time with "the wrong crowd," and was very reliable.
One thing I remember is I was bad at math in grade scholl and my mom wasn't good at it, either, so my dad had to "help." He didn't help at all! All he did was yell at me whenever I got an answer wrong, whenever I asked a question, and whenever I took more than 2-3 seconds to come up with an answer. He never helped me one single bit, and I somehow managed to improve my math skills by myself.
One experience that probably sums up exactly what I went through would be this one: In grade school, I came home with an A on my science test. I was good in everything but math, so this wasn't surprising. Still, I felt like my dad would be proud in some way, and I'd get some sort of praise.
When I came home, he was working on the speakers in the living room with a friend of his from work. I told my dad about my high score on my science test, and he didn't even look at me when he said in a flat tone, "I wish you'd get grades like that in math." Not one single word of praise or positivity, and he had to basically humilate me like that in front of someone else. I was just a kid!
Oh, and he once grounded me for forgetting a textbook while I was in grade school. Even though I never did stuff like that. And my school was literally 5-10 minutes away from where we lived.
I never joined any clubs or did sports because I always feared I'd get yelled at for making mistakes by someone, so I felt it was best to avoid all that. Now, I wish I hadn't done that and wish I had tried something, even if it was not until college.
My mom never left him because she was too naive and didn't think she'd be able to support me on her own.
I still had to endure the abuse in college. I chose a major that seemed good on the surface: it was called Media Computing and was a combination of traditional art, web design/development, programming, sound editing, animation, and digital art. However it was all over the place, never focusing on any particular thing so it wasn't very useful.
During my first semester, I was getting a bad feeling about my major as I didn't see it being something worthwhile. I explained this to my parents and my dad just got angry and yelled at me, telling me I wasn't giving it a chance so I was sticking with it.
And guess who was right?
Me.
My major is useless. It hasn't done me any good and I'm stuck paying off loans for it until I'm in my 40s. I did go to another college near me that was less expensive to take additional courses to help my career. I initially planned on graphic design because I felt pretty good about that, but the department chair of Computer Science (why I was sent there for advice, I don't know) convinced me to try programming because the pay would be much better.
Not the best idea.
I did great in my programming classes, but I was such a late bloomer, and I didn't take 2-4 years worth of relevant courses. Just what my family could afford and what seemed most important.
My programming career was a mess, partly because I was too inexperienced, partly because I was not interested in spending tons of free time trying to catch up, partly because I picked some bad places to work at. I picked a lot of small businesses, and they all had the same problems: under-staffed, poor hiring practicies, weak management, poor client management, unrealistic and stressful expectations, and high turnover. I was too inexperienced in the job world to see the red flags until after I lost my 4th programming job in a row. Then I realized I shouldn't have picked those places to work at.
But I was also lazy. I suppose I could have caught up if I had spent a good portion of my free time studying, but after studying excessively in school and college, I was so burt out. I didn't want to do a bunch of studying. I wanted to actually enjoy my freetime. I was and probably am too naive about this, though.
Now, I am working as a sales associate in retail because I have no clue what I'd be good at. I was always slow: in school, in college, at work, even in gaming. I am still slow, and while I never was told I had a learning disability, something must be off. I just don't know what. Not that it matters at this point.
I make $15.33/hour compared to $22--23 /hour I made as a programmer, and I need constant help. My parents are happy to help, but I'm not thrilled at being 36, stuck living with them because I can't afford much of anything, let alone a place of my own. I don't care if they are willing to help and happy to help: I don't want to be like this, not at this age.
As for relationships, I only have had 2 boyfriends my whole life. I never have luck with dating anyway. I only have, like, 1 friend now, too, and I barely see or hear from her. So I don't even have someone to split bills with if I had any chance to get my own place. I simply can't afford to move to a big city, not without needing a lot of financial support.
I'm extremely unhappy and disappointed in myself. I have tried therapy, but it doesn't seem to "click." I am so jaded after having so many bad experiences in "career" that I have no idea what I would be good at. Or, rather, there are things I'd be good at, but would anyone like my pace? I have great work ethic, I'm a team player, and I'm dependable but I'm slow as hell and thus, I am not worth much.
I know it's a confidence issue because of my childhood. I know that. It's just extremely difficult to overcome abuse suffered at such a young age. It's affected my development in a negative way, and sometimes my mind and body just feel like expecting and accepting the worst. I never seem to make the right choices, so, how can I feel positive about anything right now? I'm so ashamed and embarrassed about myself. I should be doing so much better right now. I expected to be living a decent, successful life by this point, maybe even having had the luck to find a decent guy to marry and share my life with. I didn't see myself being a grown adult unable to afford most basic items without financial help.
I could work 2-3 jobs, but that's not much of a life. Working 60-80+ hours per week, barelly getting 5 hours of sleep per night, going from one job to the other for 7 days in a row, for years...all just to survive, to "stay afloat," so to speak...that's not much of a life. I'd be even more stressed, tired, and defeated than I am now because I'd have no life outside of work, basically, and it would just be another reminder of how much of a disappointment my life is.
And before anyone says it, I know:
\- That I am lazy and have put myself in this position because I didn't work harder. I worked hard, but I didn't want to sacrifice my free time to be successful. I was an idiot.
\- I could work 2-3 jobs, but I'm too lazy and too wimpy to work excessively to stay afloat and somewhat independent financially.
\- I have tried keeping some savings but after every job loss, I had to use it for bills.
\- Yes, I know I'm wimpy and have no confidence, and it's basically my own fault I'm not doing better.
\- Yes, I'm terrible with dating because of how my dad treated me but it's just another aspect of my life that never seems to go right. I am just NOT lucky when it comes to relationships.
\- Yes, I could use more friends, but when you're suffering from anxiety and depression, have little to no money, and feel ashamed of your life, how can it possibly seem like an easy task making friends? People I work with think I'm living with my boyfriend in an apartment, which is a massive lie but I won't tell them the truth.
\- Yes, I'm aware I'm heading down the path of welfare and food stamps. I'm not excited, trust me.
\- I'm a lazy, naive idiot who can't make the right decisions because...I'm a lazy, naive idiot.
I'm not even sure I'm looking for advice. I just have no one to talk to, and all of this is weighing me down. I needed to get this all off my chest in some way. This was the best option for me.
Sorry it was a long post but I didn't want to keep it too short and too vague. I wanted to convey some crucial details to give the full picture.
​ | 3 |
Hum ho. Back on lexapro after trying to quit it multiple times | Have tried quitting it but on all occasions within 4 months have experienced weight loss , gait issues , gastrointestinal issues, sleep issues , lack of appetite, anxiety, muscle tension .
So back on it. One doctor told me that it will take a long time to feel better after withdrawal after listening to me. He told me to meditate and do yoga.
I can handle anxiety but other symptoms have forced my hand again. | 3 |
Feel like running away | I put up this face, this personality out there, hoping people will like me, think I'm cool, will befriend me, when I'm nothing but a zero inside, I got a good friend circle, a bunch of cool and Elite kids as I always wanted, friends who are classy, got standards, are cool and Elite, but i have come to the realisation that I'm not one of them. I don't belong there you know, I just wanna run away somewhere leaving all my connections, I can't breathe anymore. | 3 |
I’m eating whenever I’m bored. I’m not even hungry. Do any of you experience this too? | null | 13 |
Angry Tears? | I’ve had to live with anxiety and depression for about 21 years, and I just read that people like us can have a tendency to feel like crying whenever we express anger. The urge to cry is apparently from the chronic stress of having to quietly deal with the burdens of our conditions. Would you guys say that you’re prone to angry tears?
Today I got angry with a customer who I couldn’t help because he was too intoxicated to place an order, and as I told him to leave, I could feel my lips sort of quivering, like I felt like crying. I felt so embarrassed about it, and hoped nobody noticed. | 7 |
Seeing Myself in a Healthier Light | After earning 2 college degrees and moving up the ladder & having my dream job / making great money, I am happier since I started a new career in a much less stressful field for much less $$. I look around and see my family, who I have more time with, and I see our needs being met even though I’m making about a third of what I used to. I’ve gained weight but I feel healthier-go figure that one!
My life has changed and I have changed as well. I think I’m on the other side of change where I can see how much healthier & more satisfied I am with myself. Not perfect. Life isn’t perfect. But it’s better. | 2 |
Weekly Mod Post: Success Story Saturday | Happy Saturday Everyone!
This is a recurring weekly post for everyone to post something positive. Do you have a success story you would like to share? Have you made positive progress towards goals you have set for yourself? Do you want to share something positive with the sub in order to encourage others? This is the place for that!
Share anything positive on this post. This is a place to share your successes, encourage others, and to bring an upbeat and positive outlook. | 1 |
Symptoms. | I've got depression and anxiety, and I was wondering if anybody else starts wanting to itch when they get anxious. Sometimes when I start having anxiety attack, I start wanting to itch my arm. | 3 |
Don’t Know How To Feel | null | 1 |
What is your favorite anxiety medication? | I know what works for one person won’t work for the next but the medication I am on now (Buspirone) is not helping and so I have a doctors appointment Tuesday to change it once again. So what is everyone taking that helps them? | 7 |
How do you get past negative thinking? | I have been told by many friends, family and a couple professionals, that I’m extremely cynical. It has caused a lot of fights between my husband and I, as well as crippling anxiety and depression.
I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and started medication.
I’ve also started therapy and I’m slowly trying to be nicer to myself and be more open and honest with my husband about how I am feeling. I still have a hard time being completely honest. Mostly because I feel like people will think I am crazy for the feelings and thoughts in my head.
I can usually take a step back after my emotions calm down and tell myself how irrational I am being.
What are some ways that have really helped thinking more positively and breaking that cycle of negative thinking?
Especially when you’re extremely emotional? | 1 |
Should I have taken time off with my depression and anxiety? | I run a business, and since three months ago, I have been diagnosed with moderately severe situational depression stemming from chronic burnout over a few years, marked by hopelessness, helplessness and emptiness, dissociation, psychosomatism (palpitations, tremors, hyperventilations), and suicidal thoughts. Also, I've been clinically diagnosed with trauma, which manifests in immense anxiety on anything/anyone related to work, which means I still can't open/reply email, or have any discussion on work at all. Fast forward three months, I've been ruminating whether I made the right sequences of choices:
1. For a month after the onset of my depression, I was still working, albeit less productive (approx 75% of my regular productivity). I shared about my condition to my business partner, and asked him to cover on some key business tasks.
2. After the first month, because my condition was deteriorating, I decided to take a month off, and my business partner would continue to lead the company.
3. After my one month of leave, I haven't felt better (and in fact, some symptoms continue to deteriorate, and my score on depression scale went up again). Hence, I decided to extend my leave by one additional month. As per the first month of leave, I didn't worry about taking the break because I trusted my business partner to lead and handle everything. During the two months off, I went completely offline, mostly about the worsening anxiety and trauma, and its manifestation in passive suicidal thoughts and physical symptoms.
In the last couple of months I was away, some things at work had not gone as per planned due to my absence, and I think some folks are somewhat upset with me, as I've been fully offline (whereas in the past, I've always been very online & responsive even during weekend and time off).
Do you think I should have taken the break, or should I have just tried to keep working anyway? | 4 |
Rule Refresher on Sub Rule #5: No giving medical advice/direction | Hello Everyone!
We have seen a rise in users giving very specific medical advice related to medication. So the mod team wanted to refresh everyone on what is allowed in discussions and what isn't. If you have any questions regarding this post or the associated rule, please comment below or send us a modmail and we will be happy to discuss.
**Allowed:**
* General discussions of medications, treatments, and any other therapy/medical interventions.
* Medications that have worked well for you
* Medications that haven't worked well for you
* Dosages that help you
* Any other suggestions you have for others, that are presented in a suggestion form, not telling someone what to do
* At the end of the day, users need to discuss any medical treatment options with their treating doctor. Please do not give medical advice, suggestions or recomendations are welcome.
**Not Allowed:**
* Telling users to stop taking their meds
* Advising users to change their dose of medication they currently take
* Instructing users to do yoga/meditation in place of therapy and/or medication
* Giving specific medical instructions/directions when it comes to medication (Prescribed or over the counter)
* Giving specific medical instructions/directions when it comes to alternate treatments, therapy, in-patient/out-patient treatments, etc.
* At the end of the day, users need to discuss any medical treatment options with their treating doctor. Please do not give medical advice, suggestions or recomendations are welcome | 2 |
Intrusive thoughts that won't go away. | To start off I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else right now.
I'm going through a very difficult period in my marriage and I'm watching a lot of friends who have recently gone through their own troubles start new and happy lives on the other side of it all. While I'm happy for them all, I can't help but be jealous sometimes and impatient for my chance to be happy again. An ex I reconnected with (and still had a spark for) is newly divorced and dating, I'm happy for him because he deserves it, I wish it was with me sometimes and it crushes me when he mentions he has a date coming up. Then I feel like a piece for being jealous and wishing they hadn't met. My best friend finally found someone she is happy with and now she's having a baby. I don't want kids, but I wish I was in a loving relationship looking forward to life together.
Meanwhile, I'm struggling to hold on to a marriage in free fall at least long enough to get into counseling, which we finally have an appointment for. I feel, for whatever reason, that it would only be fair to talk to someone together before making any moves. My physical health is affected by the current stress of it all. I'm putting on the happy wife face when we're out in public or with family but it's starting to get harder to keep it on and it's getting harder for him too. I don't know what either one of us wants deep down.
Maybe it's been going on for a while and I'm just noticing, but yesterday I noticed these intrusive thoughts that just kept repeating and would not stay out of my head. As soon as I'd manage to block it out it would pop right back or just switch over to a new channel. The thoughts range from annoying to absolutely terrifying. Nothing I am planning to act on or do, but just like little movie scenes on loop. And I know it's my OCD and I know it's because I'm in survival mode trying to block out whatever is going on at the time. Last night I had trouble falling asleep because of them, and I was exhausted from an already horrible day that triggered it all to begin with.
I don't know what else really. I'm just trying to hang on and do what I think is the right thing. | 7 |
How do you respond to accusations as a content creator? | I’m not a content creator but I want to be one. But I used to not be a good person throughout my teens and adulthood.
Any advice? DM’s are open | 1 |
I need help for my depression and I don't know what to do | I'm basically non functional. I just lay around all day, live off savings. Scared of going broke soon and at that point Ill be done.
I really can't afford any therapists. I've gone to a lot in the past, been on lots of meds, was told I had treatment resistant depression.
I just don't know what to do at this point. What do I do? | 9 |
I’ve lost all hope and fear I’m just broken | I’ve battled depression and anxiety for a long time. This past year broke me with the combination of the love of my life leaving me to run away across the country with her best male friend who throughout our relationship she talked with all the time and I tried to ignore it because I wanted to trust her. Add to that both my sisters going through cancer treatments, my grandmother dying, and my 11 year old German shepherd who was my rock when times were tough passing away. I had no one at the time and had to watch him die just me, him, and the vet there because I wasn’t good enough to maintain a stable relationship. On top of that I spent my 40th birthday in inpatient treatment.
This week marks a year since things started to go downhill and my depression took the drivers seat from anxiety. People always say healing takes time but it’s been a year and I feel worse. I’ve been through 5 therapists, a whole host of meds that didn’t help, 36 rounds of TMS treatments (with a $25 copay each session), a week and a half of inpatient treatment, meditation, mindfulness, exercise, gratitude, countless books and workbooks, group therapy. Seems like nothing helps. I feel like I’m just broken and one of those people who just falls through the cracks in life and doesn’t get to be happy. I can’t have a stable relationship anymore since I can’t trust people and just know they will leave me like all the other partners have done. I just hate who I’ve become and can’t remember I time I ever felt good enough. I worry that my time is up to have the things I truly want like a family and children. I’m stuck in a job with golden handcuffs and couldn’t see anyone ever wanting to hire me for something else. I just feel like the past year has broken me and nothing helps to fix me.
I go through my days seeing happy people with partners and families in daily life and just think, “what am I missing here? Why can’t I have that? What is wrong with me.” I’ve been thinking I’m just a sinking ship who doesn’t deserve to feel better because I’ve wasted my life. I don’t know what to do anymore. | 6 |
How to navigate major depression and crippling anxiety as I prepare to leave college? | null | 3 |
Failed 3 months sertraline 200, don't know what to do next meds for severe treatment resistant depression/ anxiety , any suggestions , only paxil cymbalta and tricyclics I've never tried, failed all other drugs in previous illnesses . Ta for.uk | Failed sertraline , failed 4 weeks esketamine, lost as what to do next extremely drug resistant with biological endegenous depression . Isn't a drug I've read that treats anxious depression very well from my research . Currently on benzos to dumb me down but still anxious just extremely fatigued | 1 |
Failed 3 months sertraline 200 for chronic severe anxiety depression; psychosomatic pains , wondering if an snri or tricyclic would be any more effective? Benzos dumb me down but that is it. | Failed 4 weeks esketamine aswell made my anxiety worse. Lost as to what to do next . Just surviving somehow day to day . Benzos fatigue me but still depressed and anxious. Do snris increase anxiety or lower it . Thanks . Tms is option but heard it worsens anxiety so lost as to what to do. | 1 |
Anxiety and Me - Logan's Dead Life - https://youtu.be/zG0Beyk7T6s | null | 3 |
Why is getting better so hard? | I went onto this Reddit tonight because I have been struggling with my anxiety/depression combo for years and it’s really hard to see how many more continue to struggle. I feel like I’ll never get better. Everyone says meds are the answer but they do very little no matter how many I try, therapists just reassure exactly what I thought was wrong with little to actually help me deal with stuff. I wanted to have a career and was looking at med school but now every time I have to do an assignment for my summer classes I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. I don’t know what to do and the world will never stop for us and the disadvantages of our legit illness. Sorry for rant. | 5 |
Any tips for getting some short term relief to major emotional pain? | I’m having a difficult day today. This week makes the one year anniversary of the love of my life moving across the country with a friend she told me not to worry about, my dogs first birthday since his death, and my phone reminding me of my trip years ago of my honeymoon with my ex wife. I just feel so much pain today and feel like a failure. It’s a tough week as much of my releases for these feelings aren’t an option this week. No group therapy, no martial arts, no 1 on 1 therapy till next Thursday and I don’t know what to do. | 9 |
Overthinking about career choices | Hi guys, I'm an immigrant in Canada, 23M, working two jobs currently (one for my PR) and one in financial services. Since the beginning of 2023, I've been making a lot of positive changes to my life, like very being open to communicate (been an introvert most of my life), reading books, waking up early, taking courses to learn etc. but still I find myself in the future thinking about what should I change or do today to be at a better place in future, over-analyzing different fields. I don't hold much education, only 2 year Accounting college diploma and want to get back to school within the next 6 months.
But, while I am constantly overthinking it makes me skip the present sometimes like my relations with friends or family. I really want to work hard and achieve things but presently I keep thinking about which path to take? Continue Accounting (for CPA) as it allows me to do business which is one of my goals or work upwards in Finance from the entry level job that I have?
I don't know if I feel depressed or have anxiety disorder but I really want to improve on the overthinking part in my life as this has always been there. I would really appreciate some help about this as bringing positive changes only has been making me focus on the next positive thing without fully enjoying any of it present one.
Any help is appreciated. | 2 |
Do you treat the anxiety first or the depression first? | I have a parent who was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, so I now have two parents with terminal illnesses. I was given diazepam to help with the panic but I no longer have it so never took it. I do still have anxiety but I cannot bring myself to take it out of fear I will have negative side effects. I was also given sertraline because I'm feeling low. Again, I cannot bring myself to take it. I once took citalopram to deal with anxiety that I had and I felt like I lost a huge chunk of myself, so I'm very wary of taking anything... but I do need to do something.
I'm not especially interested in life any more but more than that, I cannot think about making any plans or doing anything because I know my parents are dying. I can't get that out of my head. It is at the nucleus of my existence. I cannot distract myself without that underlying 'oh no, life is terrible' feeling preventing me from becoming absorbed by anything.
Where do I start? Can I treat this without meds? How do you work out which meds to take first? Should you treat both at the same time? I'm having difficulty sleeping but I also eat appallingly these days as it temporarily relieves stress. I feel like changing my diet would help but I need my diet to help me not feel stress. | 6 |
Back to medication | Has anyone stopped taking medication (after being on it for 2 years) only to switch to something else for a year and want to go back to the original? 😅 | 3 |
escitalopram | Hello all. My hubby has been on escitalopram 10mg for a month now and there has been no improvement whatsoever. If anything he has been more off. He gets jittery and way more anxious and panic attacks. Is this normal? And it has definitely taken a toll in the sexual dept. Any tips on how to help him or reassure him in any way? He has pushed me away soo much and he has brought up separation b/c he says he doesn’t want to bring me down with him. He used to be very lovable and affectionate and now it’s either hot/cold…mostly cold. He says he loves me but is not “in love” with me. That he doesn’t love himself and that’s why he can’t be in love with me. Any advise would be greatly appreciated | 2 |
Medication combo | I’ve been on Effexor 75 for about a year now. Lately I’ve been so on edge and i don’t think it’s working. I don’t know if i should up it or try something completely different. I’ve done Lexapro and Prozac. Suggestions? | 3 |
Propranolol 5mg | Propranolol 5mg for anxiety/panic attacks.
My doctor just prescribed this for my panic attacks and I’m really nervous about the possibility of it lowering your heart rate and it make you pass out. Has anyone took this and it helped? | 3 |
Decision Fatigue | I have bronchitis and have been sick for over three weeks. I got checked out yesterday and have meds but am pretty anxious about not being able to breath well. I’m depressed over feeling bad and not being able to give my kid a good summer vacation. I have a memorial service (they’re calling it a celebration of life) for my uncle who died unexpectedly coming up in two weeks in Boston and am anxious over that too. I don’t feel up for it and would have to travel alone with the six year old. I guess I’ll feel better by then but am so down about not wanting to go and feel like I’m letting my family down. I don’t know what to do and the decision making along with the dreaded looking at airline flights process is making my anxiety worse. Being sick usually makes my anxiety and depression go way up and I’m just having a tough time. | 7 |
Helpful tips anyone? | I feel like a can, being crushed to bits
My toes feel like they might fall off from how hard i’m curling them
And though my heart rate is normal, it feels like rocketship about to launch
Anxiety runs through my veins and neither the prescriptions
Nor the home remedies are helping
Why does it feel like this, what have I done wrong?
Is this some cruel punishment for something I did or said
My muscles can’t take the rapid fire flexing that I’m doing
My brain can’t find the thread of thoughts that lead here
I’m scrambling, I don’t know what to do. Please save me
| 3 |
Afraid of dying so I just don't live | I have this weird fear and anxiety surrounding the fact that I might die tomorrow so it makes it hard to enjoy things. I see my friends enjoying life and buying things like they'll be here a long time but my brain makes it so hard to enjoy things.
It goes something like this: that's a nice thing in the store I want to buy. Well I won't be able to enjoy it because I will die soon. And then I get this fear in my brain and body and get all depressed. It stops me from doing everything how can I stop this. | 3 |
Can’t stop catastrophizing!!! | As a result of my anxiety, this has been going on for months now with me. You name it, I’ve catastrophized about it. Sometimes it’s reality-based, sometimes not. My mind goes straight there to worse case scenario about everything everytime. And then I obsess about it. Until the next item comes along to occupy my brain! I just don’t really know how to stop thinking this way!
To those do you have suffered the same, what techniques do you find work for you to bring you back to a good or at least not-so-bad place?? | 10 |
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