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I’m scaring myself | About a year ago I bought myself a pocket knife for protection because I was walking to and from work. But I’ve only ever used it on myself.
Last night was the worst. Up until now I only ever scratched up my upper bicep outta view, and made a deeper cut on one of my thigh. But last night in an emotional state I cut up the same thigh 7 times and they’re gonna scar.
I was never a cutter. Idk how this happened. | 2 |
Opinions on these supplements I'm about to start taking? Hoping they'll help me to not have as many panic attacks in the future | Magnesium
Lavender oil
Passion flower
Vitamin d3 (been taking for a long time and currently but it hasn't done much, but it's good for my bones so yay! I think it's done a lot in helping my leg bone injury)
L-theamine
Valerian root
Omega 3 | 1 |
Anxiety and Depression working together to screw up health along ith rolinling energry /sleep problems (10 years) ? what to do and how to get help? | ​
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Other thing truggered these issues. Anxiety flaired up since last year after a jog caught my heart messing up....
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Rright now I'm writing a letter to to inform them that id on not wish to see him again | 3 |
Worst anxiety yet. Help | null | 1 |
False allegation in work | Has anyone recovered a after a false allegation at work?
It was easily disproven but caused my breakdown.
I thought I was getting there, but a friend just sent me an advert for a job and the panic and fear was unreal. Working again seems impossible.
Does anyone have any experience of this and ideas about the timescale? Right now I don't think I'll ever to back to teaching. | 5 |
How long did it take for you to find the right medication? | So my doctor has changed my medication atleast 8 times in the past 2 year and was wondering how normal is that? | 3 |
Advice on how to stop being over reliant on partner to help with anxiety attacks | I, 19f, have diagnosed anxiety (as well as assumably other undiagnosed issues) and it has become increasingly more of a problem the older I get.
It mainly centers around grades due to always being a high achiever and becoming so used to 90 and above in everything I receive, so the risk/worry of getting below a high 80 will likely send me into a spiral of anxiety and cause a panic attack. I also have what I presume to be ADHD which has also progressively gotten worse, making me more likely to submit assignments just on time or a little late which takes off a pretty big chunk of my grade. Due to being in college in accelerated courses, worries about grades are constant. It is especially worse during summer classes where multiple assignments for multiple classes are due each evening after a long day of working at my job. It truly feels like I haven’t had a break in ages.
Due to my family not believing I needed therapy anymore after I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and my grade for a difficult class improved, they took me out and have no intent in letting me go back and believe that my problems can be solved by simply calming down and not putting as much pressure on myself. As you all know, this is not as easy as they assume it to be done.
This means that my boyfriend is the one to hear about every panic attack I am suffering from (typically due to familial matters or grades) or the constant worry I have about things throughout the day. He is the only person I trust with these thoughts (especially due to not having a therapist) and he does his damn hardest to help me through it all, but yet I push him away in the height of my anxiety spirals and him watching and listening and trying to help me calm down only adds on stress, annoyance, and worry that is weighing him down more and more over time. He is such a wonderful and sweet guy and I love him immensely, so the fact I am causing him so much pain really made me realize just how bad my anxiety is becoming, especially lately.
I don’t want to stress him out further and I especially don’t want to lose him due to my problems that I weigh down on him, so I’m trying to look for ways I can handle panic attacks / general anxiety in a similar way that him helping me through them does. I don’t have access to a therapist as mentioned before, so I am completely lost on where to start this.
Any recommendations on how to help reduce how often my anxiety happens, ways that are similar to talking to someone you care about and getting feedback, a good way to organize your thoughts in the heat of high levels of anxiety, or any other methods would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks. | 4 |
My face always feels tired | Ok maybe this is a weird complaint lol but I’ve been majorly depressed for 6 months or more and I’ve started to notice my face - especially under my eyes, always feels… idk stressed and fatigued??? I’m only 24 but is this like a depression thing or an aging thing 😂I don’t remember having this sensation | 4 |
I don’t know what is wrong with me | For the past few weeks I have been very tired and unmotivated to do anything,my body just feels weak and when I think about getting up to do something I just don’t feel like it,taking a shower is a task for me ,I noticed I have been overeating too,usually I only eat once a day when im hungry because I also have a problem with my body image,and I have always been cautious about food,
im currently in school and I love my courses but I don’t even want to go to school,I missed school the whole of this week and I feel like im unproductive,
I wake up at 5 to get my child ready for school and after that I’m just right back in bed without doing anything else
Im a fashion designer and part of this is to be creative,I can’t even think of anything right now,I feel like I won’t be able to make some of my few dresses and it’s stressing me out
Honestly I have no social life,I get invites to so many fashion events but I don’t feel like going or I’m just unmotivated to go,also I recently broke up with my boyfriend
Guys am I depressed? | 3 |
Showering | Opened up to my therapist(finally) about how hard it is to get the omph to go take a shower. I was scared she would think I am gross. Instead I got total validation.that it was common among people with severe depression. I felt so good after talking to her that I went and took a shower. | 30 |
Anxiety at My Job | I've been working at a tutoring place (in an administrative capacity) for almost four months now and every time I start to feel comfortable, it's as if I've jinxed myself and I feel like a mild inconvenience is the worst thing that's ever happened and it's irredeemable. Almost every time it's something I've been able to fix, but it still makes me worry that I'm not doing good enough. It doesn't help that I'm already starting to find some problems here (there's a clear class divide between the clientele and the employees, and even between some of the employees), and it's been difficult, since I'm coming from a retail background.
I am really trying not to get discouraged at this job yet. I'm still VERY new, and this is my way in to chiller office jobs in the future, and it is SO much better than any retail job I ever worked. Is there anything I can do in a professional setting to lessen anxiety? | 2 |
I couldn't fill my coellage form due to anxiety and depression. | I want to fill my coellage form. But i couldn't. Last year, i failed my school exam and this year I have finally passed the exam. I can now for to coellage. But I have been postponing my coellage form for last two months. I get scared every time i think about it. I get anxiety attacks whenever i think about it. I don't know. What should I do? I often think I should just die and all the problems will be solved. | 1 |
Panic attack caused me to miss a funeral. | I feel like such a peice of crap for this. But I missed a funeral for someone who isn't super close to me but I know the family well. I was getting ready to go, but started having a panic attack from the thought of going. And ended up missing it. I saw the family recently and they didn't seem to notice. Bit I still fell like a piece of chap for missing it. | 1 |
This wasnt to be my life | I'm 30 years old and this wasn't suppose to be my life. If I'm honest what has kept me going is my faith. While being Christian might not be the thing right now God has brought me out of some deep depression episodes. The love that I have for my family has been a big push
When I was in high school I always though I would be I would be married by now, have kids, have a carrier. Than I got diagnosed with a medical issue that will have me taking medication till who knows. that has brought anxiety , depression and low self esteem. After high school it seems like it was bad decision after bad decision. I guess a saving grace is I work as an administrative in healthcare no a big role but I have a pay check
During the pandemic I was in a pretty toxic relationship which lead to really feeling bad about my self ; however than i met my partner and while I have been having a hard time trusting him he has been so sweet, than I never have been good with money which lead me to being currently in 15k in debt, family doesn't know I'm debt so I'm faking it till I make it , living paycheck to paycheck , miss used money that I'm trying to payback, I'm a relationship and cant even think of moving on to the next step because would be unfair with all my debt I'm in to bring to a marriage and even think of having the cost of a child. I have been trying to finish my associates and I wont even say how long because its so pathetic.
I'm just so drained having to lie, having to fake it , wanting to cry. I'm in therapy. I would out, I go out with my friends. From the outside you wouldn't know I sell it pretty good but the closest to me know what's really going on . I'm just so tired. When will it stop
I'm hoping by the end of the year I can be out of debt or least 50% out, that i finally achieve my goal weight, that I go back to school i know that will be a big boast. I see everybody moving on and I don't. I'm my biggest critic so that doesn't help.
Someone tell me its really just turning 30 and its just I'm getting all my screws together so my life will get fixed . It might not sound like my situation is bad but I'm not sleeping, i feel like im paralyzed, I don't want to talk, I feel like going insane | 2 |
Anxiety & friends and work | Does anybody else out there have the problem of having your anxiety show up with work? As of lately my anxiety has been getting worse and I become more agitated with people. This has been happening with family, friends and at work and I've been laid off a couple times from a few jobs now. Can anyone relate? | 1 |
Day 16 cold turkey off benzos somebody please give me some hope 🙏 | null | 2 |
old friendgroup haunting me | before i start i would like to say sorry if i use the wrong flair for this. Since I 14F Late March of this year i have left a overly toxic friendgroup. mainly from one member who i will refer to as K. K since around late 2021 WERE good friends we used to vc all the time and we trusted eachother. it all came crumbling down though around the time when i got into a game called Library of Ruina. Note this friendship was already falling all the way down. mainly from me being stressed about so much stuff. when i first got into that game it was effectively harmless. and i was completely obsessed. but when i started to heavily post about it in the server we used to be in. during that time there was also some other stuff. such as the server being completely public and started to gain members, at the time it was around 100 but it might of gone up or down since then. but we as mods with like 2 other people including the owner decided to rewrite the rules due to this. it was usual rule stuff till we got to "No Slurs" now for some reason K didnt like that! theyre argument that it was mainly just friends in the server and it would be dumb outlawing it. i still included it to the rules and enforced it. at least to the point where i could. during a vc when i genuinely warned a person that we were friends with for saying the N word (which he can say) they didnt like it. this tension built up for awhile. there was another time where a mutual friend of us since the day the friendgroup really started being a group stated he didnt like NSFW (were all mostly minors) which was fair! unfortnately it didnt go so well. to say the least and K violated those boundaries. but back to the Game Obsession. i loved and still love the game till this day but for some reason maybe from how much i posted about it K didnt like it. which is understandable but it felt like whenever i talked about it they just got pissed off about it and it got to the point where i decided to play dmc3 for a hour or two i got hit with "Finally you decided to stop talking about lor" or something like that. and i went afk for a second after i got done playing DMC and come back to a notepad on my computer saying how they are tired about LOR that and LOR this because they aparently hated it. (and for note i trusted them with a setting on a desktop connection app called Parsec to remotely connect to my computer at all times) so i was just devestated from this violation of trust because they just barged it to hate on something which was genuinely one of my favorite things ever. which sounds really selfish thinking about it now. there was a moment before this next section that before everything went to shit where K just told me they thought of them as theyre own child and they need for protect me. need to remind you that im 14F and they were 18NB. i was quite uncomfortable with that. but since another person stated that we should just split up for a moment i took the chance after a long awhile and left for a few days saying ill be gone for a week or two and changed it to im leaving the friendgroup leaving none of them unblocked just incase if there was a emergency that i should be needed. that was a mistake and wish i changed that to Dont Interact at all now. but regardless this heartbroke K and from what ive heard it was from abandament issues. and know what thats fair but it just SUCKED when i tried to relax after a long while just being joined in a game just to be told "K has been crying over you for the last 4 days" when i just wanted to leave. cut to now im fucking paranoid of even coming in contact with them. mainly from it steming that younger me which was a complete idiot decided to trust these guys with my phone number and actual address. now luckily they all got rid of it if they had it somewhere but not K from memory. quite crappy. but now im scared SHITLESS if i wanted to confront them because they still wanna be in contact no matter how many times i say no because the relationship isnt heathily. and i wish they knew better and left me alone and im too scared to confront them with how i feel for so many reasons. im sorry for whoever reading this and if someone finds this from the old friendgroup PLEASE do not post this anywhere there i dont wanna ruin theyre reputation. | 2 |
I can't even cry anymore | I right now trying to cry because im finally only by my self but i just can't, i feel sad and depressed right now alot but im for some reason incapable of crying right now allthough my mood is right for it. i feel uncomfortable telling people that are actively apart of my life which is everyone i like, i just feel that it will make my day to day life harder without it helping at all. im trying to build up the courage to tell my parents about my critically bad depression, but its hard to find that courage.
Im 12 btw | 2 |
Can anyone help with horrible panic attack/anxiety? | Woke up and I’m feeling horrible anxiety and it’s turning to panic attack 😓 I want to calm down but I’m so anxious that I’m trembling, I’m clenching my jaw a lot and I’m dry heaving 😪 need a chat | 5 |
Lack of energy and motivation advice please! | Hey! Ive been recently diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression. Lately I’ve been having spiraling thoughts, with a very negative self-talk, and looking for all kind of distractions (online, through food, socializing, romantic interests, reading novels…). This is an issue because I have a lot of uni work to do. However, these thoughts and low energy are making it really hard for me to sit down and work. I also need several naps a day to keep going. I don’t know how to handle this, but my deadline is next month and I have so much work to do… | 3 |
Citalopram and travel sickness pills. Did anyone combine them? | Do you feel a lot of side effects when takings travel sickness tablets while on citalopram? | 1 |
Am I the only one who | TW: Mention of Death
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Am I the only one who when you think about a loved one passing away you start crying? You know they're fine and they're doing fine right now, but the thought just gets so intrusive you start thinking about their death like it already happened?
I don't know if this is anxiety, or a normal reaction to such a thought. But I live with my grandparents and they ARE our (my remaining family's) last lifeline. If they somehow both passed away, we're homeless and I lose the ones who raised me. And they're health just keeps declining. Its such a terrible thought. And you know them. Saying they'll always be around and I don't have to worry about saving up money to move out cuz I'll always have a place to stay with them.
But what if one day they just leave? And thats all a lie. I'm just so scared to lose them. I don't know what this is exactly. It just keeps happening. | 2 |
Being obsessed with something as a coping method | Being obsessed with a tv show, film, book or a project is an absolute comfort for me. I can focus on a fictional place rather than the world we live in and my own life. Thinking about a character consumes me and therefore stops me from feeling so depressed. The character and I are one being. A project helps me to believe I have purpose, a focus other than myself again and the cycle of remembering how small and pointless my life feels. I’m obsessed with being obsessed, basically. Safety in distraction. It’s not an answer but it’s a temporary relief which I think we all need sometimes. | 8 |
Going to start Lunesta and get off of Zaleplon starting tonight. | Hello,
The past two weeks I have had the worst insomnia, I believe it is in conjunction with my anxiety due to work and relationship issues. I was prescribed Zaleplon a week ago, but that didn't help at all and I have not been getting a good night's rest; almost to the point that I am not getting any sleep at all. I feel like absolute crap which in turn is making me have crying spells. I just got off of a phone call with my psychiatrist and I just shared the same concerns, so he will be prescribing me Lunesta. I just looked up online the comparison between the two, and it seems that Lunesta is the most promising. I am bringing up my concerns on this forum because I am having doubts since I have not been sleeping well and I am concerned with how tonight will go. My anxiety is the absolute worst and I am at my wit's end here, I feel so alone and that I can't receive any help. At this point I am just venting since I am afraid of what to expect. Thank you for taking the time to read this. | 2 |
Dizziness/Vertigo | So I had blood work done, and found out I am severely deficient in Vitamin D. If anyone knows, low Vitamin D levels can cause anxiety depression, fatigue, and even dizziness/Vertigo. I’m in a constant state of dizziness, but not bad where it keeps me from doing my daily routine. But it is getting to the point where it gives me anxiety and then it becomes a vicious cycle of “what ifs”
I guess what I’m trying to ask is, has anyone else had dizziness or vertigo because of there’s depressive state? | 3 |
How do I (29F) actually date him (29M)? Is it possible?? |
LDR guy I'm dating hes 29M and I'm 29F has horrible mental health issues. He's severely depressed and very negative and pessimistic about life and the outlook of things. We are long distance which makes things harder. He said he doesn't care about anything at all and doesn't think things will change on his end and he will never be satiated or happy regardless of where he's at. I've asked him if this is a thing that gets worse when he moves and he can atleast acknowledge that it's him that's miserable, not his work or location. He will be miserable wherever he goes. How does one date someone with such a negative outlook? He wants support, and when I give it, he says it doesn't feel like I care. I struggle with depression myself and I know how apathetic I can get towards everything. I take meds and see a therapist regularly; he says he does the same, but I'm not sure he's telling the truth about the therapist part. He seems to know I'm hesitant to date someone who gets so low and disregards any support I offer. He says he just wants me to be myself and let him feel like a normal human. It doesn't scare me away, but he says it seems like it would and that's why he's not going to talk to me about it.
I remind him everyday I'm here to support him and I want him to trust me. He says he will never be happy and he seems to job hop whenever he finds himself depressed at his new job. He's very educated and has a great career, so luckily every state has positions open for him. He said he is a perfectionist and he will never be content as he will always feel he could do more. I asked if he'd ever feel satisfied with things and he said no. Is this a red flag? I have been a counselor myself and the input I give comes off wrong to him. I try to be quiet and just let him vent, but then that's also wrong too. I am constantly walking on eggshells. Is this a red flag? He says the input I give isn’t “right” and not “partner- like”
We both seem to be frustrated for the same reasons, and we interpret things completely different so it's nice when we're able to talk over the phone and talk it out. Things just feel different lately and he seems to have doubts. I keep promising him. I'll try to be a better and supportive partner. I've also made sure he knows I'm not the only one at fault. A lot of things he's done has made me kind of back off. I’ve seen him be super happy and excited about life, but that’s not the case now and seeing it become a pattern makes me wonder how a future would be with him.
He's asked me to open up more, and I have. I've always been very closed off and tend to not let others see my emotions. But I'm in therapy actively working on that. I want to be a great partner for him. He is honestly a very great communicator when he is doing well mentally. I could see having a healthy relationship with him if he wasn’t depressed he’s very mature and knows what he wants. He’s one of the nicest guys I’ve met, but this makes it hard.
I care about him a lot and he just doesn't feel it. We are both very frustrated and not sure how each other feels. We've been working on better communication, but his irritability and apathy makes it hard. I don't know what to do. We have so much in common; our life goals, morals, values, future kids, etc. We can both read each other pretty well.
I genuinely could see a great future with him, but I'm starting to have my doubts. We both say we will communicate more and try to improve things, but with his current depressive mode, he makes it seem like he doubts me and that he will never be happy.
When the times are good, they're good, but when it's bad, it's bad. It's exhausting. I think he's worth it though, but he says he doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'd feel horrible if I ended things with him right now, but I also don't like feeling like he can't trust me or can see a happy life. Is it possible to date someone who is so depressed and sees no way his life will be better?
TL;DR: LDR guy I am dating (not exclusively) is struggling with mental health and has a bad outlook on life despite me trying to be a positive partner. I also have depression, but not as severe as his. He says he will never be happy and that I'll never understand. I feel it would be hard to have a serious relationship with him when he gets like this and pushes me away. He’s amazing when his bouts of depression aren’t present. I want nothing more than to be a great and supportive partner. How does one date someone with such ups and downs and negative views on life?? | 3 |
should I be concerned? | soo I self harm and (maybe unrelated but-) I also like dead things. its not like i like killing anything, I just take pictures of road kill and dead birds I find, and I sometimes collect dead animals...
the real reason I'm asking is that I own guinea pigs, and ever since my first one I've had on and off feelings of hurting them usually occurring if they struggle while I'm trying to clip their nails etc. I have never hurt them, and I know this isn't cuteness aggression or whatever its called. sometimes I just feel so apathetic towards not just them, but actual people in my life. again, ive never hurt any animals or people I'm just wondering if I should be wary about anything, like if this is just the run of the mill intrusive thought or if my self harm habit and the hobby I mentioned have any role to play in how I've been feeling for almost a decade now. | 3 |
Finally took a shower | I haven’t taken a shower in 3-4 days, which may not sound like a long time, but I’m a person who would usually take showers every morning and night. I also brushed my teeth for the first time in 5 or 6 days? And finally wore some deodorant after a week.
Luckily I’m not too much of a smelly person but I still hated feeling dirty. I also don’t know how my teeth didn’t rot or something because I haven’t brushed them in 5 days.
Anyways, today is a little celebration for me. My next milestone is going outside for a walk and eating healthy food. | 20 |
Can you have a person as a trigger | I think mine is my father. Problem is, I live with him. But few words from this man can absolutely ruin my day. Is this normal? | 7 |
Feeling unmotivated and depressed | 1 week ago today my mom had her 4th mini stroke, I had to call 9-1-1 for her I was in shock but calm enough to call and wait for the fire department and ambulance to get to my home.
Now 1 week later I am beyond exhausted and unmotivated to do anything, I normally don't sleep in but yesterday I woke up at 10 am.
Last week I went to my gyn to get new birth control
I recently found out that my BMI is 1 point over the recommended weight, I was going to be on the birth control patch but I can't due to that and blood pressure. I want to lose more weight so I'd feel healthy and not end up like my mom with strokes.
Anyway I am not feeling motivated right now and just want to heal from my traumatic week.
Is it normal to feel this way? I have counseling tomorrow afternoon. | 9 |
Waking up with extreme anxiety | Long story short: not on meds yet (was but haven’t been for some time), I hope to be in a week or so again, possibly Lexapro, but I know all the antidepressants take time to start to work. My anxiety is always very bad (unless I break down and take Ativan currently taking .25 or .5 as needed) but varies throughout the day just how severe it is. I don’t have access to a therapist.
Most of the time, it is the least extreme at night after everyone has gone to bed and threats have ceased from my wife and I know work won’t be bothering me anymore. Still anxious, occasionally I am lucky and am able to distract myself for a bit to have some sense of what a normal thought is like again before falling asleep.
Consistently, it is extremely severe in the morning when I wake up, hits me within seconds like a truck, so much so it takes me a good 2 hours to get myself out of bed as I get overwhelmed by waves of terror between my home life situation and significant problems I’m facing at work that day. I’m left literally laying there in a fetal position, hiding under the covers like a terrified child. Other than breathing which I have had very limited success with, any suggestions how to work through this keeping in mind I’m literally stuck there in bed? Once I manage to get up as I have to, it usually subsides a bit but then increases again. Seems what I can do then is pretty limited but hoping someone has a thought I hadn’t considered already. | 2 |
Why do our minds remind us we are depressed/anxious | I am on the road to recovery and I catch myself going periods without thinking of anything to do with mental health and then my brain will remind me what I’m going through and the thoughts start again. Why do we do this!!! | 3 |
Plateau on 50mg of Zoloft? |
I started Zoloft 50mg 5 weeks ago and after about 7-10 days I had gotten over the immediate side effects (increase in anxiety, jittery, nauseated, very drowsy) and I started to feel much better. My mood was generally lighter, I wasn’t ruminating on things, I wasn’t even really thinking of negative things that weeks previously I couldn’t even begin to see past. I was still down occasionally but it was much better overall, I wasn’t getting panic attacks and felt a lot more functional. However, in the past week or so I’ve started to feel down again, very tearful, negative, self loathing etc. it’s not as bad as it was before I started Zoloft but it’s definitely worse than two weeks ago. Literally just a couple of days after I started feeling a bit low I had my first follow up appointment with my doctor but because the mood change had only been for a few days, plus it was around my time of the month, I thought it was best to stick it out with the 50mg dose for another while before increasing it to 100mg, and my doc agreed.
I guess I’m just a bit disappointed that I feel like this again when I had been feeling much better and was thinking the 50mg dose seemed to be doing the trick. Did anyone else experience a dip like this? Is this normal? Did you have to go up a dose?
I speak to a therapist every couple of weeks and have been exercising and seeing friends, but I’m afraid that I’m just masking things and that I haven’t really gotten any better, that I’ll just be chasing this forever which is causing me more anxiety.I felt I had just turned a corner, and before I even had the chance to properly work through the things I need to, I feel like I’m almost back at square one. I know the path is not straight forward but I’m feeling really discouraged right now… | 1 |
Benzo advice no hate please!!! | null | 1 |
Showing up for friends | I feel like a shit friend. For the longest time I was stuck in the worst depression of my life, and it prevented me from being a good friend even a decent one. Right now I’m trying to make myself care about life again and I really want to be a better friend without it constantly being about my depression. I just don’t know how? Like how to care about myself or how to want to live. I’m taking it slowly things have been semi-good but still, this looking feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness sometimes gets the better of me. | 3 |
Other than slow breathing, what works for intense clusters of panic attacks? | I was late to an important family event yesterday because I was curled into a ball and unable to even move the blankets away from me. I had chills, my heart was racing, overwhelming panic… the whole nine yards.
I eventually forced myself to take a shower and go, fake smiled for an hour, then came back home, and since then it has been happening every hour.
This not my first rodeo, I know these attacks can’t kill me, and I know that they will be gone at some point. But until such relief comes, what can I do? Counting/breathing is not working because my thoughts keep going back to the same topics and the same fears.
I’m getting desperate. | 5 |
Should this be my goodbye? | https://youtu.be/HB7We-iDuC4 | 1 |
clonazepam | My doctor gave me clonazepam, I was having really bad panic attacks due to my abusive mother but I never took it because I was scared to get addicted. My doctor stressed to only take it in an emergency like when I felt a panic attack coming on, but everyday felt like an emergency at the time. And again I was scared to get addicted/dependent on it. But recently I’ve been feeling that level of anxiety/stress again that causes panic attacks (even though I’ve moved out). I was wondering does anyone have any experience with clonazepam? If so would you mind sharing? | 2 |
Tired of calling health care professionals.... | I'm pretty sure that these two terms do a great job describing some of the things that leave my chest feeling tight and me struggling to want to continue another day. Recently separated from the service, and still wonder when I won't feel so anxious or down almost all the time. I do have family that loves and thinks the world of me, and that is what helps me out each day. Either way, glad to join this group. | 2 |
What are my options? | I've been suffering from anxiety and depression since childhood. I control my depression with ssri quite well but my anxiety is still unmanagable. CBT doesn't work, I've been through self help and 1:1 sessions. Pegabalin helped but I gained looots (almost 20 kg in 2 years). What are my options? Do I have any? Or feels like while depression is treated seriously, anxiety not so much. Or maybe we just don't have much help available? | 1 |
An imaginary happy day | So i was watching a series and there was a scene where they were having a group therapy session and one of them asked each one of the group to write about a day in their life where they felt really happy and it could be a real day or an imaginary day that they wish it happened and felt the urge to try and write down with them but since i can't remember a happy day i wrote an imaginary one and i wanted to share it here rather than keeping it in my notes xD .
So this is what i wrote:
I woke up early in a normal day there were no screaming no bad words no anger in the air and especially no anxiety no decepointement that i'm still alive anyways i have my breakfast while watching something fun as usual then go out to meet with my friends that i love so much and they do as well with no problems no complications no sudden change in their behaviour no overthinking why the fuck has this happened or what's wrong with me do they love me or not, just a casual fun day where we laugh eat, feel happy and be grateful then do whatever i have to do regularly in that life then the afternoon i go outside with my friends again without feeling tired or drained in a version of me that is full of energy to live, happiness and hope without feeling the pressure of how the meeting will be, without feeling anxious without feeling anything rather than joy relief and pure happiness. | 1 |
I don’t know how to act on my birthday | My birthday has always bothered me, at least what to do with it, anyway. I just don’t know how to act. I always get anxious leading up to my birthday, and then I feel anxious and numb at the same time on my birthday. My wife will ask me what I want, and it’s such an easy question that is near impossible for me to answer. I feel like I make people anxious because of it. | 1 |
anxious attachment | my anxious attachment has gotten so bad that whenever I'm not with my partner I have nothing to do. everything becomes so insanely boring that I feel like I go insane. I need some help with this. | 5 |
Just woke up from sleep paralysis | I haven’t experienced this in years. I just forced myself awake from sleep paralysis when I started hallucinating demons. Luckily it was fast enough but I’m out of breath like I just ran a marathon, I was so panicked. And I know it’s from mounting stress I’ve had lately.
Other people have it worse I’m sure, my stress has maybe been more existential. I’ve been feeling terrible lately from the fact that I am so mediocre and such an embarrassment and a failure. I am a waste of what I am and it’s been causing a sleep issue for me. What am I doing here still and also I don’t want to leave yet. It kills me that I’m just wasted potential. I disappoint everyone.
I’m not sure how to help myself with this because it’s been so long since I’ve had sleep paralysis and I don’t want it to happen again. Any advice in particular from people who have suffered from sleep paralysis and have tips on helping that anxiety? | 3 |
Advice for anxiety in relationships/in general? | Hello. I (17F) have been dating my first serious boyfriend for about two months now, and I can’t help be anxious about anything and everything. I’m taking medication for my anxiety and depression, and I’m seeing a therapist, but I was wondering if anybody has some advice on how to stop the anxious thoughts, or just any tips on self-care. Thank you | 6 |
[Mod Post] - Reminder about the sub rule on not giving medical advice. | Happy Saturday Everyone!
Just a friendly reminder about the sub rule of not giving medical advice.
We welcome discussions about medication, symptoms, treatment/therapy, and any other things have have benefitted you and your health. Where we draw the line at not being allowed is diagnosing anyone, giving medical advice such as to stop medication (even if you are a licensed medical professional), to suggest not seeing a doctor and to try yoga instead. There are many more examples, but these we felt summed up the spirit of the rule well enough.
Managing anxiety and/or depression can be a complex journey with many variables that come into play. We are here to support each other, get assistance from people who have shared experiences, offer advice, be an ear to those who may need it, and to be a strong and supportive community for anyone who needs it.
With all that said, we want to thank you all for being here and for showing such an amazing support system. We have had a lot of new users joins due to the blackouts, and seeing all the support, advice, suggestions in the comment section is why we are all here. Thank you all for making this sub special and a safe place for everyone. | 5 |
Breaking unhealthy coping mechanisms? | How do I break out of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Most coping mechanism I have are just to forget my own thoughts. They usually include video games and social media for way too long, biting my tounge, lashing out at friends and family members and eating unhealthy food. Is there a way to break this cycle. | 9 |
How do you know if your on the right meds? | I feel kinda the same but less crazy, like the anxiety is still here but if feels less intense. In therapy they keep saying that the anxiety will always be there and it’s normal but how do I know if the anxiety I’m feeling is « healthy anxiety » or am I just overthinking all of this🙃 | 3 |
What put your anxiety and depression in remission? | Especially if it was debilitating and making you unable to leave your bed/house? | 7 |
Ativan alternative | Long story short, I should be on an antidepressant but I’m not. I was but lost access to my doctor and refills. Now I’m a total mess, I’ve since regained access but terrified of going back on any, both because of withdrawal if I lose access again (which is very possible) and how it may impact my thoughts and decision making which is a total mess too. I have Ativan to use as needed- I need it daily but refrain from that as I know the risks and only take it a few times a week, when I do take it, I’m able to “function” almost normal- far from where I should be but significantly better than without. What I like about it, is it only last for a day (I take .5mg) whereas an antidepressant takes longer to stop impacting me if I don’t like the effects and I stop it to get back to the “normal” mess I am but at least that mess is still me, not influenced by meds. Any recommendations on what is closest to how Ativan works, but isn’t addictive, without worry about withdrawal when stopping, and doesn’t stay in the system long if I find it messing with me too much? I want to get better but also want to be in control so that if I don’t like how it’s working it wears off fairly quickly. Thank you | 0 |
PLEASE share your experiences | null | 3 |
Anxiety 101 | Going to a festival and I wanna kms. Only going to meet a friend and they want to go.
- crowd of people
- loud music
- inability to put headphones on and hide in a corner because there will be no corner in a crowd of people at a festival outside and I do not have headphones.
not to mention I have no sense of direction and will most likely get lost. :) | 4 |
How do I reconnect with friends I ignored during my depression? | I've had a pretty bad burnout-induced depression over the past three months, and because of that, has not responded to many of my friends' (and work acquintances') texts over the past 1-2 months. What would be the best way to get back to them, and what should I say? | 6 |
Seeking Help for Depression and Anhedonia: Feeling Numb Despite a Good Life | I'm reaching out today because I'm struggling with a deep sense of emptiness and a lack of joy in my life. It's been going on for a while now, and I could really use some advice or scollective wisdom from this community.
To provide some context, I want to emphasize that objectively, there's nothing significantly wrong with my life. I have a good job that I enjoy, and I'm blessed with a loving and supportive family. However, despite having all these positive aspects, I can't seem to find any enthusiasm or motivation to engage in activities that used to bring me happiness.
I suspect that my past experiences might be playing a role in my current state. Growing up, I had a narcissistic, fundamentalist Christian mother who made me feel like a scapegoat. This environment was suffocating and emotionally abusive; I was made to feel like a failure and that things would never work out. I feel like this may have left deep scars on the way I feel about myself and my future. While I've made progress in healing from these experiences (somewhat), I can't help but feel that they continue to impact my emotional well-being.
The most troubling part is the anhedonia, the inability to experience pleasure or find joy in things I used to love. It's like living in a perpetual state of emotional numbness, where even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. All I want to do is sleep, or doom scroll, as it feels like the only escape from it.
If anyone has gone through something similar or has insights on dealing with depression and anhedonia, I would greatly appreciate any advice or support you can offer.
I've tried various self-help techniques, such as exercising, pursuing hobbies and exercise (BJJ). They worked wonders but are starting to lose their effectiveness. I haven't tried therapy yet. If there are any specific strategies, coping mechanisms, or alternative therapies that you've found helpful, please share them.
Lastly, I want to express my gratitude to everyone who takes the time to read this and respond. . Thank you in advance | 6 |
Supposed to go back to work after a month off but can't... What do I do? |
I'm an entrepreneur, and after a couple of years of burnout, my condition has significantly worsened 2-3 months ago, and I've been diagnosed with moderate to severe clinical depression. I've been having an indescribable feeling of sorrow, anxiety, apathy, helplessness and emptiness; in the first week of the whole episode, it was even hard to get out of my bed. For the past two months, whenever worked (or even just thinking about work), I would experience immense anxiety, fear and (sometimes) anger, as well as physical symptoms, such as massive headache, body tremors, and faster heart beats (and one time, almost hyperventilating). The trauma around anything remotely related to work is real -- I still can't open/reply email, or think of anything/anyone around work at all -- all of these give me tremendous fear and anxiety. Lately, I've been feeling resentment towards my business partner and team, as I believe I'm the most committed one and they have not been fully pulling their weight (which leads to my burnout). I've given everything to the company, and it hurts me to see that they cannot function without me.
Anyway, I've finally decided to take a month off work (totally offline), to try to recover. I'm supposed to go back to work, but I've been having an extremely difficult time getting myself in the right mind space to even think about work. To make matters worse, there was some emergency at work (happening during my leave) that I would need to attend to -- and it's going to be very, very stressful. A part of me strongly want to either leave or shut the company down, but even to do so (which would involve discussing with my business partner and all follow-up tasks) seems insurmountable to me now. Especially the last week has been difficult (potentially from thinking of going back to work), and there were brief flashes of self-harm thoughts. I can't bring myself to think or read (let alone respond) any message about work now.
What would you do if you were me? | 4 |
Willing to help. |
Hello. I'm offering myself as an emphatethic listener for those who want someone to talk to. My main responsibility as an empathic listener is to provide those in need assistance and understanding. I am excellent at establishing a secure, accepting environment in which people may openly share their ideas, feelings, and worries. I have a natural capacity to empathize, which enables me to connect with people on a deep level and provide support and direction during trying times. #help #people #anxiety | 10 |
Cold meds gave me severe panicked feeling. Freaking out. | Edit: I’m fine now. Idk there was just some weird reaction happening. It didn’t last too long. Thanks for the help though!
Took some sketch off brand NyQuil. About to have anxiety attack. Incredibly restless and feel like I want to jump out of my own body. Has this ever happened to anyone else? SOS | 2 |
Stuck at the precipice of progress | I'm staring at this screen, trying to find the words. My life has descended into absolute chaos, with my house in complete disarray, neglected to the point of being unrecognizable. It's become a monumental task to restore order and reclaim a sense of normalcy.
Im boiling over with wanting to "get back to reality" but this wave of panic immediately suffocates me when I try to start anything.
There's so much to be corrected and I can't even start with the most obvious choices without being overwhelmed with a panic attack.
I know I can fix this but I'm just too ashamed to ask for help from those close to me. So I'm reaching out here for some positive motivation.
I know I can do this, I'm ready to do this, I'm just stuck on the Precipice of Progress and the wind is holding me back. How do I cut through the wind?
Thank you for letting me vent and I really appreciate anyone reaching out. <3 | 2 |
I'm tired of fighting | I'm tired of fogjring every day just get up I'm tires of feeling crappy and tires I'm tires of thinking there's something physically wrong with my heart or I'm going to have a heart attack I'm tired of not feeling happy even when I should be I'm tired of the constant reminder that either suicide or my hearts going give out I'm tired of trying so hard physically for physical health and seeing no results I'm tires of being tires and I'm tires of this life | 8 |
There’s nothing left for me | Everyone always tells me “be positive” or “think positive.” How can I be or think positive when there’s absolutely nothing positive about me in my life? Yes that’s right, nothing.
Everyone has always and always will hate me my whole life. Bullied since childhood, a pest and burden to my friends and family just for being me. Mom says she loves me, but I don’t feel like it because she’s disappointed in me. Also a failure at life, broke and irresponsible forever because of my natural born mental illness.
Dropped out of college, fired from every job I ever had because of my anxiety and my damn autism. Making it impossible for me to get any job ever again. I deserve to be cut off from the world forever, never to get out into the world ever again.
The only thing I’m good at is video editing, but once again I can’t get a job because I know NOBODY in the field. Who would want to hire me anyway? They take one look at me and secretly judge me. I’m no psychic but I’m pretty sure that’s the case even if I am good or not.
No amount of therapy can help me, no amount of meds can make me better, nothing can help me. People claim they like me and love having me around, but they really hate my rotten guts because they know I’m a worthless, irresponsible loser.
So yes, there really is nothing left for me. I’ve already come to accept that this is how it will always be. There’s no hope for me either, so I should just give up. In my mind, I already have. | 2 |
just want someone to talk with outside discord | i just want someone on reddit that i can talk to and who can maybe understand and help me, it's night and i just feel weird, i wish i could explain or describe what i think or feel like, but it really is hard
just someone? dms? i don't want to have to make many posts of the same things and idk | 5 |
Depression & Anxiety, suspecting ADD - Considering stimulants | Hello. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety 2 years ago. I've been on and off medications because they made me very fatigue, emotionless and absent. I've tried Lexapro, Zoloft, Citalopram, Effexor, Trazadone and now Wellbutrin. All SSRI's worked the same, with Zoloft being the worst, it made me a zombie who would just play smartphone games without any other interactions. Wellbutrin does work, I started it just 1 month ago. it is the best out of all. At first it gave me major muscle cramps, then elevated my tics and stims, while giving a lot of energy, I could finally wake up rested and did not have to drink caffeine to get rid of the brain fog, I also fall asleep much easier. Unfortunately the tics are bothering me even though it settled down a little but, another thing is that it does not give me any motivation and the energy levels are decreasing with each dose. I've started thinking about everything that was bothering me over my whole life, which I've never considered to be due to a mental problem, I also started reading about all the symptoms, and this with the fact that Wellbutrin makes me feel better and fall asleep easier, even though it might fall under stimulant category, made me think that I have Inattentive ADHD (ADD).
I've talked to several different psychiatrists and all of them were just guessing and prescribing different dosages of the same medications even though I always mentioned that I feel much worse on them and all it treats is depression. I am scheduled for a follow up with the last psychiatrist who prescribed Wellbutrin and I was thinking about asking for a stimulant as a test. The only thing is that it's a telehealth probider and I'm pretty sure that prescribing controlled substances via televisit is not allowed.
Never hurts to try though.
I wanted to get you opinion about the type of stimulant that works best for you - Adderall XR, Vyvanse or Mydayis?
Also, I'll share all symptoms that I wrote down and would appreciate your guess on what might be the issue, and maybe some of you had the same exact problems.
- lacking motivation
- low energy
- fatigue
- lazy
- oversleeping
- depressed
- irritable
- tics (jerking legs, blinking, putting tension on eyes, clearing throat, throat muscle spasms with slight vocal tics), which I am trying to control and hide, getting worse when I'm seated/laying and alone
- excessive nail biting
- perfectionism
- overthinking
- anxious when around new people
- hard to keep or start a conversation
- introvert
- poor motor coordination in the morning, even speach is impared until I fully wake up or drink caffeine
- takes a while until my brain starts working and brain fog clears a bit after waking up
- hard time motivating myself to the gym or do something without caffeine
- feeling of not using my potential and constantly wanting more but not doing much to advance
- trouble concentrating, being clumsy and making mistakes when I know someone is watching
- avoiding any activities than I am not very good at
- mild panic attacks when someone asks me too many question, if I made an error
- isolating a lot
- brain switching off/daydreaming
- constant pressure of wanting to advance and start new things
- starting new projects but not finishing it
- hard time getting back to something I've started if I dont complete it in one go or if someone disturbs
- planning a lot but rarely doing as planned (i.e. reading for hours about a place I'm going to on a trip and making a plan but not realizing it)
- easily distracted
- forgetting tasks
- forgetting to pay bills on time
- forgetting what someone just told me to do, even if this is repeated
- leaving everything for the last minute
- always late
- avoid risk
- avoind being rejected
- avoid things someone tells me to do
- low self esteem
- avoid eye contact for too long
- difficulty making decision
- hyperfocus
- constant resarch of things, need to know everything about everything
- often starting a conversation with a friend but forgetting to respond
- often feeling overwhelmed
- want to do everything myself
- rarely happy with the result
- hard time keeping routine and disorganized, even though I like to have everything straight and easy
- getting bored easily and loosing interest fast
- unable to focus on work without another stimulant in the meantime (such as listening to an audiobook, podcasts etc)
- always multitasking
- feeling overhelmed when having too many tasks and avoiding tasks when not seeing an end
- postponing responsibilities
- fully dedicated when doing something and want to complete a task as soon as possible (i.e. at previous jobs I never took breaks but worked constantly)
- unable to speak too long, mind starts wandering, making me talk too fast and saying something else than I wanted to
- hard time finding words I want to say when talking to someone, I am doing great at texting
- making assumptions fast
- paying close attention to people's gestures, body language and speech
- often suspicious and mistrustful
- always looking into all available options before making a decision or starting something
As a child:
- frightened
- withdrawn
- individualist
- calm
- shy
- preferred to talk and stay close to teachers instead of classmates
- full of complexes
- kept forgetting and losing things
- avoiding any public performances or speech
- unable to focus on taks, never done a homework or read a book
- years 6-8, excessive motor tics during stressful time
- disorganized
- never completing a task on time (teachers were setting up a timer for me and allowed additional time)
- major OCD (had to do everything evenly, avoided things, felling the need to touch a spot i.e touch left knee if someone touched right knee)
- social anxiety
- great at written vocabulary (spelling)
- poor speech vocabulary | 2 |
I'm dying | I'm dying my chest hurts so much I'm shaking I wanna scream heeelp please | 7 |
I am losing my mind. | I feel super anxious and I am losing sleep over it. I think it is because of this new job that I have started and this guy I was talking to. After talking to my therapist, I went ahead and deleted the dating apps and blocked the guy I was talking to on every communication platform since she has confirmed that he was showing signs of red flags, specifically love bombing and future faking. I know the way I handled the situation was not the most appropriate, but I hope that I can have a better sense of relief after this. I still feel like I want to cry all the time and I feel like absolute shit. I think it’s because of the lack of sleep. I wish my anxiety wasn’t super bad. Although I am off of my antidepressants and I am not experiencing the terrible side effects, I feel super scared and can barely get any sleep. I made an appointment with my psychiatrist this upcoming Monday and I am afraid to be put back on antidepressants because I am afraid of the side effects it will give me. I just want this suffering to end. I am having some pretty nasty thoughts because of the way that I am feeling. I also just had the worst panic attack in a long time, please help me. | 2 |
Zoloft - when to take? | I’m starting Zoloft 50mg, first time taking anxiety medication for me. Should I take it in the morning or night? Any tips?
Thanks. | 5 |
Has someone gotten over their anxiety and depression as they got older? | I'm just curious because I'm almost in my 40s :( I feel like I'm not progressing. | 9 |
Is magnesium glycinate 220 mg twice a day safe for a 25 year old woman to take? For mood & anxiet | null | 3 |
I feel like dying | I don’t want to kill myself but if I could die that would make it easier than to feel the pain I feel right now. My normal anxiety/depression is enough pain, but going through shit on top of it and being pregnant is pushing me over the edge. | 6 |
Tired | Y’all, I’m tired of constantly getting my medication adjusted. I either get manic or depressed. I can’t seem to find a pill (or pills) that makes me feel normal.
I was on Pristiq, which made me manic.
I got off medication for 6 months and got depressed.
I got on Cymbalta, which made me manic.
My doctor then decreased my Cymbalta dose and added an antipsychotic, which made me depressed.
He increased my Cymbalta dose back to what it was and put me on a new antipsychotic. Now, I’m depressed with more energy. I probably need to wait longer because I’ve only be on the new antipsychotic for 4 days, but I’m tired.
I just want something to work. I want to feel normal or even manic again. This depression isn’t cutting it | 4 |
I hate the way it steals all the joy | Honestly sometimes I just really hate it. I’ve had depression on and off (mostly on) for nearly 30 years and I should be used to it. I’ll plan things and be looking forward to them and then the dark clouds hit and suddenly I don’t want to do anything. I just can’t care. I have so much coming up that I should be excited about but I can’t be | 9 |
Has anyone here been diagnosed with anxiety & depression, and then later with Autistic Spectrum Disorder/ Condition? | I've been diagnosed with clinical depression nearly 10 years, and had Generalised Anxiety Disorder for almost 5. I've had some successes with SSRIs and sporadic therapy, but I have symptoms that just don't go away, and I think I've suspected that it might be something else for a long time. I can get into specifics, but that will make it a long, long post. In short, I have a lot of personality traits that fit the bill.
My question is, has anyone here ever been diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder/ Condition as an adult, after years of dealing with diagnosed anxiety/depression? If so, I'd really like to hear your experience, and whether you'd recommend seeking an ASD/C diagnosis. I've seen many pros and cons in relation to adult autism diagnosis and in my country, it's well more than I can comfortably afford. Before I spring for something that may not realistically give me any answers, I thought I'd ask here to see if anyone has been on this journey before. Did your life improve/ change in any significant way because of it? What was the process of diagnosis like?
​
Thanks in advance and apologies if this question doesn't belong here.
​
* Edited to clarify that I am absolutely not trying to self-diagnose, as I understand how harmful and disrespectful this is to people who suffer on a daily basis with these disorders/ conditions. | 10 |
Heather B Armstrong- Dooce book | My apologies if this post is not something that you usually talk about. But, I am listening to her book titled ‘The Valedictorian Of Being Dead’ and I am floored at how DEEP in depression she was. I have followed her for YEARS… Way back in 2003 and 2004 following her from LA to Utah. And Chuck. And Jon. And Leta. And Marlowe. And Coco.
And I never truly understood how deep her depression ran. I knew that she talked about it and referenced it from time to time, but I really had no clue. I must have glossed over that stuff as I stuff my own down deep.
And listening to her read her own book is especially gut wrenching for me personally. She felt like a friend, someone that I could commiserate with about “all the things“ that are going on that just won’t stop. The utter pain & sheer panic I hear in her voice rips me to pieces.
The treatment she sought that basically made her brain dead for 15 minutes is not some thing that I would have even thought about doing.
And she did 10 sessions! I’ve only gotten as far as her second session and how she is handling it.
It’s a short audiobook, only seven hours. And I’m trying to make it last because I want to keep hearing her voice. She deserves to be remembered and praised for her honest and bare-bones description of her depression and what it took for her to just get out of bed every day. We all do. | 8 |
Anyone that can help me relax? | Having horrible anxiety and it’s making me nauseous and making my stomach hurt. Anytime I close my eyes to fall asleep I start to feel panicky… it’s 4:46am and I just want sleep 😓someone please help | 6 |
Anxiety | Some days are just shit, i get anxious and there is no reason behind that! This is so frustrating. Everyone is getting on my nerve | 2 |
Increased anxiety ssri (Paxil) need help please! | null | 2 |
Physically ill from this | I don’t know but I am sure lots have experienced this but due to recent terrible events I do not want to disclose I am so sick. I am still taking my meds as prescribed but I am physically affected terribly. I have thrown up multiple times in a span of 3 days, I literally keep rubbing to the bathroom 😭😭💩 food sounds disgusting, nothing is appealing. My thoughts keep racing, my heart will beat irregular and I will get sharp spazzing chest pain. I can practically deal with the depression and anxiety but I am zombified. I am nothing. This is just a body and have no idea where my soul went… I have had the thoughts but I’d never act upon them the part I can’t stand the most is the nausea ALL DAY LONG and going going going like crazy 💩🤮😭😭😭 how do you deal with the stomach upset??? | 5 |
i wish i can click pause on my life. | i (24f) struggle with so much anxiety everyday. about everything from school to my body to the uncertainties of the future.
it’s gotten so bad to the point where my eating disorder came back and it gets too difficult to keep food down. i can’t sleep. i keep thinking of ways to numb the pain through drinking and smoking weed.
each day, each minute is unbearable. my thoughts are so loud. it’s so confusing because i want to die and jump off a building but i don’t for the sake of my loved ones. i just want the struggle to stop.
i don’t know what to do anymore. the meds aren’t working. life just feels too much right now. | 24 |
Word vomit | Im sorry for bad grammar and all over the place wording - TW for Suicidal ideation and domestic abuse
Its really hard for me to be even typing this out cus i've never felt truly safe to speak up or express myself until i accidentally overload, but somehow this has still never really come out to anyone and i'm tired of the hours crying and laying in bed unable to move. I, 17 y/o, have been dealing with (suicidal ideation?), i put that in that format because i am unsure if that's the proper term, since as early as first grade. Child me would lay on my carpet, next to my bed on the floor, wondering if everything would be better if i just disappeared, I would lay there crying silently for maybe half an hour because I had to get ready for school. I can't remember how frequent it was, but the last time my thoughts manifested through that form was 7th grade, since then my depression has different ways of making me feel hopeless. My entire family has autism, by older "brother" (20) is affected in a way that makes him very angry and violent. Often times as kids my parents would leave me to play by myself or with him, but he only cared about what he wanted to do and being better at it, so he wasnt very fun. I think this lack of attention manifested into my now ability of being very quiet, and not being able to ask for help. Now for the part that has been killing me for so many years. He is my abuser, he has always been angry and violent, and would hit and bully me despite all reprimands. The first time he strangled me was when I was in 5th grade, (like 10y/o), which was in a controlled environment, and I still deny to myself was trauma, he had been enrolled into a jiu jitsu class to hopefully manage his anger for a couple of semesters. I joined for a few weeks, in which we did a practice on how to get out of someone choking you, we had to partner up and given he was the only person I knew in that class, yeah. He strangled me harshly, which I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to do at the YMCA, and he and a couple other younger boys commented on how I was TURNING BLUE, I also couldn't breathe but I was turning blue, when I was ten my brother strangled me until I turned blue haha! So silly! Thats SO NORMAL. The second and third time were on the same night, August 12, 2018, (12 years old!) parents gone out with friends and they dropped 2 girls bit younger than me off to stay with us. Us 3 played while abused played on the TV, eventually around like 9 or 10 pm, we wanted to use the tv, cus abuse is really fucking selfish, he says no, so Im like pestering him cus hes had this television for HOURS and was 25% of the people there actually enjoying it. Eventually Im doing the annoying younger sibling thing (I was 12) and was joking that I was going to tell parents that he was up late on the electronics. He gets up, wraps his hands around my neck, not like super squeezing as i remember, but I pushed him off and we resumed normal activity and I stayed joking cus fuck him, and then like 5 minutes later he tries it again and i kick him off and yelled at him that he he has no right to touch me like that. I took the girls into my room and texted my mom to come home, and a friend that I was scared and what happened. After like 20 minutes I went out to the dining table to maybe talk to abuser, "Thanks to you I'm not going to have a 16th birthday". The memory of him saying that is burnt into my brain, it boils every fluid in my body whenever I think of it. I went back to my room until the adults returned and the motions that I don't feel like talking abt went abt that night. I ended up staying about a week at another close family friends house, and when I got home abuser had switched rooms to be further away and his door was taken off. I still live with him to this day. He is a bum. He REEKS of dirty laundry poor hygiene. He didn't get a job until 20 with the help of my mother. And he is still angry. My original motivation to write out this post was because I don't want to live with him anymore, I can't do it, living with him makes me privy to information that I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW, my room is next to the bathroom, so i've picked up specifics on his hygiene habits. Oh also not to mention him telling me how he learned he had to lock the door the hard way while yanking his doily IN FRONT OF A 9 YEAR OLD GIRL. He also like held my friends (16) hand while she was SLEEPING in front of me, which i immediately called out. I've always been in fear in my own house, I have never felt safe in my own house. And I just hope that writing all this will help me get through this depression so I can use my anger to propel and put myself in a better place. Finally I want to say that I have never attempted suicide, the furthest I got was a light plan that I could OD on some meds in my house, but I never even got close to the bottle. So thanks for reading if you did. I really hope you are feeling better than me right now. Someone loves you <3 | 3 |
Anger | I am a 19 year old student and seem to have a lot of anger in me and feel very lost and don’t know why I have this much anger but even the smallest things can really piss me off and make me very angry. I have a lot of anger in me towards life and have felt this way for three years and I keep getting more angrier. I recently lost my dad a few months ago and this has increased my anger. I don’t think I have anger issues but I just have a lot of anger.
I feel like I have changed a lot in the past three years but within myself, not the type of change people notice like in your personality and stuff just the change within u where I just didn’t feel like me. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks a lot and this also started three years ago here it would happen every night 3,4 times every single night where i couldn’t breathe to the point I couldn’t sleep even if I was sooo tired but I would be afraid to close my eyes and I knew it would probably happen again. This made me angrier as I would get super annoyed with the fact that I was unable to sleep and stay ted go just get more and more unhappy. I am still unhappy and I don’t know why and I feel guilty for having this feeling as i feel I shouldn’t feel sad because I feel like I’m being ungrateful but I really am trying to be happy but this is why I’ve been feeling lost for three years and it has not gotten any better.
People always used to say to me that as time goes on you will be okay and things will get better but it’s been three years and nothing has gotten better only worse and has affected my studies as I will be no longer leaving with good grades, I still passed but I struggled to do the best to my ability and this also makes me feel more angry. I am very angry with myself and the world.
Please help i am super confused would love some advice please 🥺 | 2 |
Need suggestions, super confused |
My parents have found a match for me, and I really like the guy as well. It has been three months since I moved in with him, and he is genuinely a good person. He puts in a lot of effort to make things work, and I am truly grateful for that. However, at times, I feel like he doesn't show much interest in the things I like.
While he does try to make the relationship work, there are moments when he seems a bit annoyed whenever I mention other guys or friends. I understand that everyone carries their own baggage and has had bad experiences in the past.
Over the course of our three-month relationship, we have had about 15 arguments, with a few of them being major ones. This has left me confused about whether I should ask my parents to continue searching for other potential partners or if I'm simply overthinking the entire situation. I'm feeling extremely conflicted.
On the positive side, we both share similar tastes and preferences when it comes to food and general vibe. However, I do believe that a healthy relationship requires a balance, and in our case, both of us being short-tempered seems to disturb that equilibrium.
I am genuinely unsure about what I should do. Should I ask my parents to continue looking for someone else, or should I settle for him because finding someone with a similar vibe could be challenging?
I would greatly appreciate your guidance in this matter. | 1 |
Gaining weight fast due to stress | Hi,
I've been struggling with being overweight since a young age, but I had managed to maintain a relatively stable weight over the last four years. Unfortunately, during the pandemic, I experienced a weight gain of around 4-5 kg. Recently, within just 1.5 months, I faced emotional upheavals that led to a significant additional weight gain of 5 kg.
To complicate matters, my doctor changed my antidepressant medication. After being on fluoxetine for several years, they switched me to sertraline for a two-month period. However, due to weight changes, I switched back to fluoxetine two weeks ago. Surprisingly, despite maintaining consistent eating habits, I am still gaining weight.
I'm uncertain if this weight gain is related to the anxiety I'm currently experiencing and the high cortisol levels associated with it. To make matters worse, I recently ended a long-term relationship, leaving me deeply saddened. Additionally, I made changes in my supplement routine, replacing berberine with another supplement for PCOS. My current supplement regimen includes chromium, zinc, omega-3, ashwagandha, gymnema sylvestre, agnus castus, and a hair and nails supplement.
Furthermore, I'm taking 40 grams of fluoxetine and 300 grams of topiramate for my depression/anxiety and binge eating disorder.
A recent blood test showed no signs of insulin resistance or thyroid issues, which has left me puzzled. Nevertheless, I decided to schedule an appointment with an endocrinologist to explore further. I'm curious if it's possible to gain weight solely from stress, without making any changes to my diet.
Considering my PCOS-related issues and the potential impact of my supplements, I'm unsure if something is amiss. I'm reaching out to this community for support, advice, and personal experiences. Has anyone else faced similar challenges? Do you have any insights, suggestions, or recommendations that could help me better understand and address this situation?
Thank you in advance for your help! | 2 |
Losing interest in things | null | 2 |
Pamper yourself says therapist! | You know sometimes you have an eye-opening moment in therapy? Well in my last session my therapist asked me to do two things, The second of which was to pamper myself, to do something just for me. (I eyerolled massively at this point lol). Now it was something of a gruelling session, and no doubt a bit of self-care is needed, but I was surprised to find this really hard! I genuinely can't think of anything I really want tot do. Part of this of course is the depression, but I was so surprised that I'd struggle to do something just for me. A good life lesson in there I think!
Anyone else discovered some lighthearted stuff like this? Of course, I say it's lighthearted but I'm going to spend the week worrying about it nonetheless. :D | 2 |
Help please | I’m 15 and just started my 5th year at high school. Always had a good friend group but when I was about 13 it expanded with people I wasn’t to find if joining and I became quieter. At about November the people that joined previously left until it was about 10 of us compared to the previous 17 or so. The new friend group was perfect with me after a month or two becoming one of the funniest in the group. However at the end of March a few friends left the group chat and it all started to fall apart. I was isolated with only two or three friends but I wasn’t in school anyway for 2 months due to exam leave.
Now that I am back at school I have pretty serious social anxiety during lunch where I find myself talking to people I see that are solely school friends for a few minutes then they go by but I no longer belong to a group. Just a few months ago I didn’t think life could get better now I am terrified to go to school which I am aware is super unhealthy mentally.
Any advice on what I can do would be appreciated, like how to relieve this anxiety and how to find a solution. Thank you. | 1 |
The weight of my emotions | My heart is heavy with an indescribable weight, as though a tempestuous storm rages within me. The chaos of my emotions swirls around me, leaving me disoriented and lost. I am adrift in a sea of uncertainty, unsure whether it is acceptable to feel this way. Is it wrong to be sad even when everything appears to be okay?
For an eternity, I have whispered to myself that I am alright, yet I know it to be nothing but a lie. My pain is a silent companion, forever present in the recesses of my mind. Perhaps it is easier to keep my sorrow hidden, to let it fester deep within me rather than risk exposing it to the world.
Alas, I am resigned to this state of being, ever-flowing like a river that cannot be tamed. The veil of sadness remains, shrouding my soul in an impenetrable cloak. | 2 |
So lonely | I 27m have a chronic illness. I'm introverted and just so lonely. I feel like I can't escape my own head. I do have a few friends online but I'm constantly questioning if they even like me. I'm always the one that has to initiate or we would pretty much never talk. I get so jealous because I don't think they are the same with other people. I want to make new friends but it seems so daunting. If anyone is willing to talk I'd appreciate it | 2 |
I can't stop overthinking about my relationship and I feel like it will end up ruining it | Tw: I briefly talk about sh
First off, I have a lot of trust and abandonment issues due to my childhood and my past relationships, where I've been lied to for months and been cheated on, and I was completely oblivious to all of it until I found out all at once after months of It happening.
I'm dating this girl and i simply just can't stop overthinking about every little thing in our relationship. It's all I can think about 24/7 and it feels like it's taking over my mind. I get these awful anxiety attacks if I think about it for too long, which is pretty much ever single night. I cant stop thinking that one of these days she'll just suddenly lose feelings and leave. She's done nothing to make me think this at all. She tells me she loves me many many times a day, and says that shes happier than ever since she's been with me, but despite this I still can't shake the fact that she's either just saying all of this or will end up changing her mind about it.
I feel really guilty for thinking these things cause she's been nothing but nice and caring towards me, and all I can think about is how any day now I'll wake up to a breakup message. I just can't realistically see any way in which this girl stays with me. I WANT to be Able to trust her and I WANT to believe she won't hurt me but I can't bring myself to do it because of everything that's happened in the past.
All of this causes me an immense amount of anxiety and it feels like it's taking over who I am. The only way I've found to get my mind off of it for just a little bit is sh, which I've dealt with in my past, and I hate the fact that I do it but it's like I'm not who I am when I have these anxiety attacks and it causes me to think and do stupid things like that.
I just feel so terrible for thinking these things, and I feel like it's only gonna get worse the longer I stay with her. I feel like overthinking will end up being the cause of our relationship coming to an end and all I can do is just wait until the day she decides she doesn't want to be with me anymore. It just feels like I'm waiting and waiting until that moment comes. I'm too afraid to tell her about this (and she's given me no reason to be afraid to tell her), and she knows I overthink but she doesn't really know the details of it. I feel that If I tell her it'll scare her away, or make her rethink our relationship. I know communication is important in relationships, but I'm too afraid of risking our relationship to tell her this stuff
I really dont know what to do about this all | 1 |
health anxiety / sleep problems | iv joined in the hope i can get some
current ground / information, if anyone would like to talk i would really appreciate it !
i am currently coming of diazepam i mean i know this might have somthing to do with my current situation but it’s almost a living hell at this point
i have a bout of health anxiety when i was in my early 20s and managed to get over it . this time round from the get go it has effected my sleep it really is terrible from everything to hypnik jerks / palpations what started the current anxiety , i’m constantly waking up in the night if i get control of one thing like racing thoughts it will be somthing else like the hypnik jerks ,
it really is torture at the moment . the last few weeks or so iv been worried about having sleep apnea as just as i’m falling to sleep i’m literally waking up gasping for air/choking then in the morning iv been waking up with some pains in one side of my body like a intense stabbing pain it doesn’t last long but it’s pretty concerning then after this i fall back off but wake up feeling like i need a huge breath of air , that has lead me to think it could be sleep
apnea as iv never experienced anything like this with anxiety - has anyone else at all ??
i had to share my story in the
hope
someone might have some answers or can even relate to anything i’m going through i’m really stuck at what to do next if i’m honest | 2 |
Brain fog, depression, anxiety, dizziness, depersonalization | Hey! So basically I’ve been dealing with these symptoms for about 9 months now. It all started when I was kinda getting ready to head off to college for freshmen year and for a couple days felt those symptoms. Fast forward to move in day, the first week I felt great. Super excited, going out, having fun, meeting people etc… then somewhere after those two weeks I smoked some weed and had a full on panic attack. Freaked out and didn’t wake up till 1pm the next day. All the symptoms kicked back in after I woke up that morning and has never left since. I have smoked weed in the past and never felt like that before so it was pretty weird I reacted that way. During that time I did have poison ivy all over my legs… not sure if that has any thing to do with it. Fast forward I come home for summer still feeling weird. Emotionless, not happy, anxious, brain fogged, dizzy. I’ve been to the doctors for blood tests, an mri, thyroid tests and everything came back normal. I’ve also been to a therapist and he wasn’t very sure what was going on with me lol. I am a very healthy guy, I woke out 5 days a week, eat a well diet most of the time and have a lot going for me right now tbh. I’m very frustrated and want some sort of answer. Plz help me figure this out!!! Thanks so much. | 3 |
i hate life these days | I somewhat often stare at an blank wall if i don't have an distraction like an good youtube video. Sometimes my head is empty some times i think of life and how i already don't really have friends at the best time to get them (12y/o) or how meaningless my life is, especially since it's summer break the classes are changing and i ALMOST got friends from this class that i was at for a year. Now my somewhat friends rarely remember me.
I think i might be depressed, talking to real people about my mental health to people in real life seems meaningless just like my life, watching videos is no longer fun it's just to slightly escape life.
The only good thing about life right now is that i got rid of my porn addiction, im not afraid to admit to having that addiction since i got rid of it in less than a year. (not marked as "NSFW" cause i just say that i got rid of that addiction)
My life is good, i have a nice family and our financial status is good.
Even the fact we have an dog doesn't help with my mental health, since he doesn't seem to give a singular shit about me most of the time, in fact it might make it worse since the dog is friendly and likes others and likes to stick around them, but the only time he doesn't flee from my pats it's when hes too tired to, i have tried different ways of petting him.
My only friend i have had has been my dad and now hes away for a week and he somewhat often has long shifts so most of my free time goes to being depressed.
It doesn't help with making friends that my mental status and thoughts and all that are of an adult, i don't really have anything similar with people my age than just being 12. I literally got rid of my porn addiction before people my age got it over all, although it is common for males to at some point have an porn addiction.
I don't enjoy my hobbies like modelling much anymore it's just an nicer and more effective way to escape reality for sometime.
I at the same time want someone to confront me with my mental health problems but i also want to keep the depression to my self.
When i was sort of scared that someone would try to kill me in my sleep, i used to have one of my knives close enough to my bed for me to reach for it with my hand easily but now i don't care anymore because if someone were to kill me i wouldn't care anymore, it would probably be nice.
I have already had thoughts of "dying wouldn't be that bad" but i haven't planned suicide atleast yet.
I can't think of a real reason for why im depressed since nothing bad has happened, i just am depressed, and that uncertainty is making the mental health issues worse since i have no clue what caused them.
I think my mental health got temporarily better after i went and walked the dog today.
Even though my friends have been a bit more in touch with me recently i still feel like they don't give a shit all that often.
I now officially hate hide and seek since when i have just a slightly good spot, im completely forgotten most of the time by every other attendee.
Allthough some people lie that "their brain is way further developped than people their age's" they do it to seem smart, but i think my brain just skipped a huge chunk of my childhood and it's depressing as fuck to know that my brain did that after i had noticed that i should try to get the best out of my days as a teenager since life won't get any better when i get older with all the taxes and shit.
Life is not enjoyable anymore and it won't get better with age, this is ultimately what will cause my properly suicidal thoughts. | 8 |
I (19f) don’t want to feel this way anymore - I hate it | I don’t wanna drown in my anxieties and stressors like it’s all there is to life. I want to let go and move on and be happy, be free and be at peace for once in my life.
I’m just scared now, I definitely have some sort of attachment anxiety/anxiety disorder that developed in the relationship this year due to the way he treated me. It was my fault that I gave myself in bc of how much I cared and was optimistic about “going in this together hand at hand” but I ended up swallowing all his anxieties and harmful words and having to deal with mine which left me in a really bad state. Thankfully I was able to finish the year off and kept my scholarship which is nice. But I just feel like I ruined myself, my headspace, and soul bc of what I gave.
I’m doing better now bc I decided to break things off for my own sakes a week? ago and that I know I deserve better with everything I’ve done. My mom also definitely helped me in this transition too and wouldn’t be in this healthier state without her. But that also bothers me bc I depended on her to be happy. I wanna focus on myself but it’s hard, I’ve never thought of myself this way before
“Be your own best friend” right, but as someone who grew up being taught making others happy is the best way to be happy made me leave myself behind and never really learn to genuinely love myself.
I feel selfish and like a a-hole when I do so, and usually think of others whenever I make a goal for myself. An example is I wanna work out, but I keep thinking of others when I do and I hate it and drown in my thoughts.
I just feel like I can’t control who I wanna be. | 6 |
anxiety 18(m) | i have previously wrote in here about some problems of mine , but i would like to know if anyone with anxiety and depression (and someone who stresses about health) also suffer with dizziness and feeling nauseous and blurry vision after having a prolonged period of just stress , as i have been in and out of the doctors this past month , i have had blood tests , they all came back fine , i’ve had a ecg and that was fine but it just feel like every time i develop any minor symptom my brain tries giving me the worst outcome ….
any advice or help would be nice ? i would talk to my therapist but my appointment is next monday and my anxiety is just through the roof | 2 |
Feeling scared for no reason | Why is it that I am feeling scared for no reason. I don't know why. Everything around is okay and I haven't done anything wrong as well, still my heart is pounding like anything. It feels like something wrong is going to happen or I am going to get in some kind of trouble.
Is this normal? Or is this my subconscious mind trying to tell me something. Something that I should be aware of or something that I can do to correct the upcoming events. Not sure what is it and what can I do. Feeling scared and helpless at the same time. Please help. | 6 |
I’m tired | Currently in my living room crying because I hate my life. I am tired of always having to be there for everyone else but theres no one for me. I feel so overwhelmed with work, school, internship and my personal life. I feel like I don’t have any real friends. I only have friends when they need me for something. I hate hearing about everyone’s relationship status. Meanwhile I’m just an obese ugly fat virgin losing her hair. | 17 |
I'll probably have to post this in other subreddits too | this whole post will probably be a mess since idk what order to say things in and i keep thinking or remembering more things to write
also i suck at just explaining things or talking
15M
I've had diagnosed depression since March, and I've been taking seronil for it (which hasn't made any change it you ask me). Anxiety got so bad around that time too that I couldn't go to school for 5 weeks. Talking with people became too hard and I randomly started getting trust issues for a reason even I don't know. Now whenever I talk with people, I just get sweaty and shaky and I can't do anything about it.
I've tried going to my parents and even my school's psychiatrist, but it's hard talking with them. I don't know how to bring up my problems, I can only talk if they ask me a question, but even that's hard sometimes.
Ive never had any close or lifelong friendships, and the few friends that I had weren't that nice in my opinion. I've been very nice and friendly with everyone since before I can remember, I literally invited everyone in my class to my birthday on like 1st-3rd grade, yet no one invited me to theirs. I started being more introverted around 5th or 6th grade, and I'm not even sure what happened. I had like just 1 friend (that didn't like it when I didn't spend time with him) in 6th grade that I kinda just stopped talking with and he didn't even seem to care, and in 7th grade my only friend moved away, but I was also relieved since he always hit me and was just annoying. I either didn't know how to tell him to stop properly, or he didn't understand me.
I often feel like I have no skills or talents at all, because all I basically do is play games and watch videos, I wish I knew how to draw and like learn to do things, but I'm so lazy and unmotivated that I give up at everything if I don't learn it in the first like 3 hours.
Many days I'm very bored just playing games, and one of the things that I actually like doing is talking with people, but I feel like it's also making things worse for me. When I have good friends online, I start getting sad and wishing I had at least someone else than my family to talk with or hug. April this year I started to speak in 1 discord server and actually liked doing it and got many friends there, but now it's ruining my life more, since I overthink things, blame myself for everything, panic easily and worry too much about what everyone thinks and how they're feeling. It causes me to stress more and then I get sad or mad and everything just goes downhill for me.
I met one of the friends I made online in 3 conventions. The first time I couldn't say anything else than just "hi", and the last time I met him, we literally looked each other in the eyes, I tried to think of what to say again, and before I could even move, he walked past me to go somewhere else without even seeming like he recognized me, which sure hurt. One other person that I've been talking with online was there, and I've honestly talked about some deep things with him and I just wanted to hug him there, but I didn't know how to go do something like that, and he also left before I could even speak to him.
I keep thinking less and less that I'll ever have friends or even learn how to speak with people face to face rather than with just texts. Why don't I have friends yet? I'll never have any kind of partner at this rate. How do I even get friends? I'm not the kind of person who walks up to other people to start convos, but no one ever walks up to me. Is it because I'm just so boring and uninteresting that no one sees any reason to talk with me? Please help me. Some days I'm even suicidal or just want to harm myself, but it all hurts too much and I can't do anything. Even if I'm not doing anything to myself yet, I'm scared that some day I'll do something I regret.
One of the people I talked with on discord recommended that I take a week long break from discord, its supposed to last until the 18th of this month, but I'm already so bored and have nothing to do except just sleep. | 3 |
What do you do when it all seems like it’s too much? | My 30th birthday is in 2 days and I feel like I failed; at everything. Relationships, friendships, achievements. It just feels like my entire life I’ve never done anything right. I’m a good person, a caring person, a hard working person. Why does it feel like nothing has ever gone right? I’m trying to hang in there, I really am. But it’s getting harder and harder. | 12 |
i can’t go on anymore with this suffering it’s unbareable i have no options left except to pay private sleep specialist but will they even be able to help? please can someone advise i feel so suicidal | null | 2 |
Struggling with motivation | I have no motivation to do anything. I want to have something to do. I've been holding on to work but can't find anything. What can I do during the day? | 7 |
Fluoxetine and Risperdione addictive nature | Hello all!
I have been taking Fluoxetine and Risperidone since more than 2 years now (on and off) and want to know if these meds are addictive in nature. My real event OCD seems like increasing gradually and come under control when I start taking these medications. I am really worried if I can get rid of these meds at any point in my life. I have been searching for answers on google or reddit and no where I could spot people who got rid off these medications.
Please help!!! | 4 |
How do I get back to work when my depression and trauma hasn't got better yet? | I'm an entrepreneur, and after a couple of years of burnout, my condition has significantly worsened 2-3 months ago, and I've been diagnosed with moderate to severe clinical depression. I've been having an indescribable feeling of sorrow, anxiety, apathy, helplessness and emptiness; in the first week of the whole episode, it was even hard to get out of my bed. For the past two months, whenever worked (or even just thinking about work), I would experience immense anxiety, fear and (sometimes) anger, as well as physical symptoms, such as massive headache, body tremors, and faster heart beats (and one time, almost hyperventilating). The trauma around anything remotely related to work is real -- I still can't open/reply email, or think of anything/anyone around work at all -- all of these give me tremendous fear and anxiety. Lately, I've been feeling resentment towards my business partner and team, as I believe I'm the most committed one and they have not been fully pulling their weight (which leads to my burnout). I've given everything to the company, and it hurts me to see that they cannot function without me.
Anyway, I've finally decided to take a month off work (totally offline), to try to recover. I'm supposed to go back to work, but I've been having an extremely difficult time getting myself in the right mind space to even think about work. To make matters worse, there was some emergency at work (happening during my leave) that I would need to attend to -- and it's going to be very, very stressful. A part of me strongly want to either leave or shut the company down, but even to do so (which would involve discussing with my business partner and all follow-up tasks) seems insurmountable to me now. Especially the last week has been difficult (potentially from thinking of going back to work), and there were brief flashes of self-harm thoughts. I can't bring myself to think or read (let alone respond) any message about work now.
What would you do if you were me? | 7 |
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