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A social pariah ordeal has turned my life upside down
I've been suffering from anxiety and depression for around a decade in which I've visited therapists, councillors, and doctors and taken prescriptions (though nothing worked effectively or didn't present other side effects). After years of trying and the burning dumpster fire that was COVID, I think I must've just gotten used to living with it to a degree where I could function in public and just let myself feel it when I'm alone. However recently I have been the scapegoat in a very large community as a friend I had a falling out with told others has been saying unfavorable things about me (what they are I still haven't an exact answer as no one has been clear with me, so I can't speak on the validity or not), and have been isolated from it due to these rumours for 3 months now. Other mutual acquaintances that I am not even remotely close to somehow know of these rumours too and it's gotten so bad that people from towns the next province over have seemingly heard about them. I live overseas in a foreign country and live in a very remote area. The entire ordeal has caused me to not leave the house for anything if it isn't work (if I get fired, I will have to return to my home country). I eat only at work and can't even bring myself to buy groceries or make a cup of tea. I can't read books or play games or do anything that I used to love doing. I'm emotionally numb to the point that I just sleep as there's no reason to be awake if I can't experience or enjoy anything. I can't speak to any friends or anyone else about how I've been feeling as they've all stopped talking to me regarding the above issue despite my apologising and extending the olive branch to talk about it. I haven't spoken to my family in months because I don't have anything good to tell them and I don't have the mental energy to keep talking about the bad. I've lost a large amount of weight and have noticed I've been properly sick at least twice a month for the last couple of months. This isn't meant to be a pity party but I'm worried about how bad the situation is becoming. It's been this bad before but I also had people helping me, or at least one friend to talk to. The whole social ordeal has me spiralling on if I'm a bad person or if I deserve it, even when some of the things people have said (others have heard the rumour but have decided to pull away for their own problems after hearing about it), definitely could have been easily fixed with a conversation rather than a social execution. I'm too scared to even try making new friends as I'm not in the best space mentally to stop myself from just trauma dumping on them early, and even paranoid that they've all heard these rumours floating around considering it's grown like wildfire. The only conclusion I'm coming to is to move back home (which I would rather not do as I would perhaps be worse off there for a myriad of reasons) and end my contract early. Are there any suggestions on what to do in this situation? Anything would be appreciated.
5
Back like clockwork
I’m on my 6th week of prozac! My emotions have def stabilized. I know I’m depressed and anxious but I can’t feel it the way I used to. I’m nervous about getting off of these. Can I? I’m still very sad but the pills make it easier to internalize. I learned today that my partner of 6 years has been constantly lying to me about who they were 2 years ago they could’ve said something but they chose not to. I’m hurt. I’m angry. However, I’m also numb. I know I should feel the pain of hurt and anger but the medication just leaves me numb. I know how I should and probably do feel but I can’t feel it.
2
Hi! Anybody know if these herbs cause organ damage? Are these safe? For anxiety.
Hi! everyone, I hope I can post here since this subreddit is about anxiety. I just want **your anecdotes or your experiences** from you guys about if any of these three side effects happened to you guys/other people or not. I plan to take any of these for two months and then cycle them off. That way, I can gauge the **safety** before I order any of these supplements. Thanks! Have any of you guys got **liver damage, pancreatic damage, or kidney damage** from taking any of these supplements or have you heard of anybody who did?: **1. Lemon Balm (Melissa Officinalis. Compound Rosmarinic Acid)** **2. Rhodiola Rosea (Rosenroot. Compounds Salidroside & Rosavins)** **3. Schisandra Chinensis (Compound Schisandrin B)** **4. Eleuthero (Siberian Eleutherococcus Senticosus. Compound Eleutherosides)** **5. Astragalus (Milk Vetch. Compound Astragalus Polysaccharide (APS))** **6. Passionflower (Passiflora. Compounds Chrysin & Vitexin)** **7. Lavender (Brand Name: CalmAid (Silexan). Lavandula. Compound Linalool)** **8. Magnolia Bark (Brand Name: Relora. Magnolia Officinalis. Compounds Honokiol & Magnolol)** **9. Cistanche (Tubulosa. Compound phenylethanoid glycoside (PhG))** **10. Black Seed Oil (Nigella Sativa, Compound Thymoquinone (TQ))** **11. Holy Basil (Ocimum Tenuiflorum. Compound Eugenol)** **12. Blue Vervain (Verbena Hastata. Compound Verbenalin)** **13. California Poppy (Eschscholzia Californica. Compounds Californidine, Eschscholtzine & Sanguinarine)** **14. Mulungu (Erythrina mulungu. Compounds Hydroxyerythravine & Erythravine)**
2
So depressed but so proud of myself
Took a shower... Didn't lotion because by the time I got out of the shower I was exhausted. Even put on clean clothes. Little victories... I'll take that.
59
I'm losing faith that I'll find my happiness again
I've been living in a new city for the last 2 and half years. The only reason why I moved there was for a job opportunity during covid time. As of last year, I changed jobs since my last job thought I was completely worthless and I was in the brink of getting let go. So I left before I could get shot in the head and thrown away like the worthless engineer I am. Where I'm at now, I have no friends I can rely on, I have no family, I have no purpose being here other than to go to work. I have no girlfriend, I barely get matches on dating apps. I have no desire to go to bars since I see no point. I won't socialize with anyone and the only thing I'll be leaving with is crushed expectations. There is no hope for me. While my true friends are having fun back in my home town, I'm stuck here thinking about how worthless I am. I can't make friends, I can't keep a job, I can't talk to people, I can't go on dates. I wish I could just die, since the world doesn't care about me anyways. I'm just a worthless failure that can't even succeed in completing some simple tasks. Everything hurts right now. I feel like I'm on a knifes edge mentally. I don't want to die, but my will to live isn't as strong as it should be.
6
Am I losing it??
TW: Suicide|death I’ve struggled with anxiety for years. I always have Xanax on me, lowest dose - .25. Rarely took it. 30 day script would last me over a year, would have to get a new script and toss the old ones. I take Effexor and have for about 6 years, no issues at all. I also take trazadone - been on that for like 15 years which probably is a terrible thing. Never dealt with depression, I get sad and down like everyone but nothing crazy. I’m petrified to die, petrified of what IF I get depressed, but anxiety has been pretty controlled for years. And then this past weekend came along, Saturday I was more anxious then I ever have been in my entire life, called my doctor because I took my 1 pill of .25 and it didn’t even touch it. It was peak panic then I’d come down and be in a brain fog, jittery, can’t focus, would sit there and think about what I’m even panicking about because I honestly had no idea, then peak panic again. Doctor told me when I spoke with her I can go up to .50 2-3 times a day. And I can function finally, but I’m so scared of being addicted or having to take it to live my life. I think my body is finally just used to the Effexor, So we are gonna up the dose of that and I can start tomorrow. But holy mother of god. I honestly thought I was going insane, honestly thought I was going to have to be committed. My mom killed her self 5 years ago, so when my anxiety would not just stop and kept going I was then panicking that I was going to develop suicidal thoughts - and wondered if this is how it all happened to my mom. I am not suicidal - I am PETRIFIED of becoming suicidal. I start counseling tomorrow as well, I’ve downloaded books and apps to try and just help myself feel better - I’m trying to take the steps to get better. But until then - I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that I’m not alone in this, and that I’m in fact not going crazy.
3
How do you guys deal when you feel anxiety in your chest?
Hi all, recently I’ve been realizing I’m going through heavy sets of anxiety. Usually I’d ignore it and just try to step away but recently with the trauma I’ve endured, pressures I’ve put on myself, and just overall being triggered by certain things I’m really in a hole with dealing with my anxiety. I’ve been on my healing phase and some days are fine but other days I need that extra help. I’ve found myself feeling more exhausted but sometimes just staying up in constant stress. Things from the past have been triggering but I have no clue how to go about this. What do you guys do when anxiety hits and you’re near tears or breaking down?
1
What’s the best advice you can give in navigating anxiety/depression with a partner and kids?
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I feel like a disgusting, malfunctioning robot
I have anhedonic depression from prolonged anxiety and trauma. I sleep all day. There is nothing I want to do, and being conscious is too stressful, tense, uncomfortable and unpleasant. I am too depressed and anxious constantly to deal with even the most basic things. I am literally a DISGUSTING human being. I hardly ever shower. Like, every 6-8 weeks I shower and wash my hair. It only occasionally dawns on me how dysfunctional that truly is. I haven't done a load of laundry since June 2021. I only change the bedsheets 1-2 times a year. This is bad enough, but my pillow case is a nightmare because I drool in my sleep and also my gums sometimes bleed in my sleep as I clench my jaw and teeth. And I need to go to the dentist, but can't deal with that either. It's been 7 years. I brush my teeth twice a day, but 4 of my teeth are loose, but I can't afford to do anything about them. I don't even know when I last washed my bath towels, though since I shower so infrequently, maybe it's not as urgent as other things. I hardly go out and I wear the same comfy house clothes when I'm home and on the couch at night. I wear the same clothes for months before finally bothering to swap to new ones. I don't change my underwear everyday. I can smell myself sometimes and it repulses me intensely. With all the above, and because I spend about 13 hours most days in bed and about 11 hours most nights on the couch, both my side of the bed and the couch smell. The couch is a pale blue jacquard fabric but on the part that I always lay on, it's a dark grey / brown from filth. My lower legs look like wool as I can't be bothered shaving for 6 months at a time. I'll still wear shorts though. I just ignore my legs and hope nobody looks down to notice. Or all the brown dirty patches of dead skin all over my arms, legs and feet. When I do shower, I have to scrub at my skin until it's pink to get all the dead skin off. My fingernails are a mess, as I've been picking at the skin around them since I was 4 (so 40 years). My toenails are painted, but again, it's so occasional due to my lack of interest that they grow too long and the polish half chips off. My face is the only part of me that looks ok as I remove my makeup, use good skincare and wear makeup when I have to go out. I assume most people will just notice that. And honestly, I can't even care about any of it enough to feel embarrassed anymore. Please be kind. I know I'm disgusting.
10
What can I do? Tw-miscarriage mentioned
Please don’t judge as this is my first ever reddit post. I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for years now. I still force myself to go to work but drag myself to do so in the morning, some mornings I don’t eat breakfast or brush my teeth. I have stopped taking care of myself and doing my weekend self care as I used to. I cry sometimes and I’m not even sure why. Sometimes at work I have panic attacks at my desk for no apparent reason I just sit there and feel like I’m gonna vomit and pass out. I get super dizzy and feel like I’m going to die. I’m super good at hiding it. I talked to a coworker about my issues and she said “wow I didn’t even notice” what can I do? I used to be so happy. Now I feel like I’m spiraling. I think about my future, money, the fact I didn’t go to school, the fact that I miscarried years ago, the fact that I have terrible anxiety and feel like I’m dragging my partner down with me. I just feel like a failure. I can’t even do annual group meetings because I sit there feeling like I’m going to vomit and almost left once during one. What do I do? Why do I feel this way? Anyone going through the same thing?
1
I’m having surgery and I’m terrified.
Hey everyone. On June 8th I’m having a benign breast tumor that has been identified as a fibroadenoma removed. I’ve had it for 8 years now and have already cancelled a scheduled surgery last September due to my anxiety. I’ve never had surgery before and I’m just so terrified of something going wrong, although I know that’s rare. I’m a 23 year old who is slightly overweight and just have concerns of what could go wrong. I’ve never been under general anesthesia…. My mind won’t stop spinning and I just wish I could turn off this part of my brain. Google is my enemy. If someone could tell me some positive stories, offer support, anything that could help me through this. I don’t want to cancel this surgery again.
1
I can't imagine existing without this sense of inevitable doom
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Staying indoors is safe for my mood
I found what really helped me feel better throughout the years, was actually spending a lot of time in a place of safety that I call my home, as when I am in the community I can feel quite uncomfortable if I don’t like the people in the area or if the area is well boring. I have kinda reached that place ages ago, where I felt that engaging in the community was a waste of time,people aka humans were pissing me off. I felt more depressed. So as soon as I got a notification on my phone from gaming servers I went home or never turned up. Then I felt better because I was doing something self fulllfing, meaningful for the mood and then I could also do my psychology degree in peace. No having to show up to some group in town, make friends with a load of strangers talking utter dogshit about the weather.
3
Felling like zombie on Zoloft and other SSRI's
Hello. Im 31yo male who has been suffering from depression, generalized anxiety and social anxiety. I've been taking Lexapro 10-20-5mg (1 year), then Trazadone 50-100mg (5 days), now Zoloft 50mg (8 weeks) All of these eliminated depression immediately but did not help with anxiety. Zoloft kind of helps with mental anxiety but makes body anxiety worse. I am however feeling worse then on Lexapro on this one due to these side effects: - emotional numbness - lack of energy - lack of any motivation - laziness - much less productive at work - oversleeping - even more antisocial than without it - not answering phone or replying to anyone - cant start or keep conversation - would just sit on the couch and play phone games - low libido and hard time ejaculating - weird sensation in jaw when yawning or orgasming - not sure if it's just a coincidence but I am feeling an itritable scratching sensation in my thtoat and nose I feel like my body is telling me to stop taking this medication. I honestly felt better without any drugs even with depression, since I had moments of euphoria or motivation. Alcohol helped with socialization and at least I could have fun. On these meds alcohol are just making me drowsy and that's it :D I talked to my psychiatrist who prescribed Trentillex but it is not covered by my insurance so he switched it to Effexor XR but I am reading a lot of side effects on this one. Aside from help with depression and anxiety, I would like to achieve high energy, less sleep, more motivation, no brain fog, more socialization. Would you recommend giving Effexor a try or suggesting my doctor something else? I was thinking about adding Wellbutrin to either Zoloft or Lexapro. What do you think?
1
woke up having weird feelings for a 16 on to 17. im 20 years old. im trying not to freak out:(
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Struggling with Anxiety and Depression.
I'm struggling with anxiety and depression. I can't get out of bed in morning and want to sleep all day. I haven't even been able to eat these past few days.
7
Really feeling that I'll be alone forever.
Recently just feeling like I'll never have a partner, I'll never have kids and be alone forever. I just feel I'm annoying, embarrassing, and stuck up. No wonder no one wants to date me. I have no friends coz I push people away. I only have my family that are getting on my nerves lately. Just want to be happy and in love.
9
Dealing with the Critics in Your Life
Whatever you’re trying to achieve - save the world, write a novel, devote yourself to a particular cause – there are likely to be those who will be critical. Some people just have a critical disposition while others will take issue with the specifics of your particular endeavour. Criticism is unavoidable. Your choice is in how to respond to it. Consider these strategies for managing the critics in your life: Clarify your purpose. As humans, we are compelled to make meaning. Making meaning for ourselves – and value for others – is fundamental to a life well lived. When you’re doing something very important to you, you care far less about the criticisms of others. If they can easily throw you off your path, you might want to reflect on how important it really is to you. Are you living your purpose consistent with your values? Understand the critic’s motivation. Are they projecting themselves in to the situation – their aspirations, their skill set, their propensity for risk, their values? Are they genuinely trying to protect you from any potential down-sides? Are they trying to maintain the status quo – for you, them, or both? Are they masking their own lack of action? Recognise that criticism is not balanced appraisal. We have evolved to notice negative issues more readily than positive ones. We are more likely to notice criticism than encouragement: people working against us over people supporting us. Most people are actually indifferent to you and your life so get on and live it. Realize that you’re going to be criticized no matter what you do. Whether you become a billionaire, movie star, teacher, doctor, or sit on the couch all day, there is someone that will tell you that you’re doing the wrong thing. So, live your life building towards what you do want rather than what the critics don’t want. Respond calmly. Rather than giving your critics the pleasure of an emotional response, respond kindly with a considered response. Acknowledge any leaps of faith you are making. Use your critics as motivation. While some people are intimidated and deflated by the critics of the world, others are able to use the negative comments as a source of motivation. Remind yourself that while the critics are standing on the sidelines, you are on the pitch and playing the game. Decide if they have something useful to say. Some criticism may carry valid points – explore these with your critic and ask what their solution would be – the response differentiates between useful and harmful dialogue. If the criticism isn’t useful, move on. You have more important things to do. Take criticism as a compliment. Most people will leave you alone if you’re struggling or aren’t doing anything noteworthy. You only become a significant target of negative comments if you’re doing well. If you’re taking a lot of heat, you must be doing something correct! Live your life without the need for the approval of others. Live your own life, by your own values. Use your signature strengths to create meaning for you, value for others and legacy for the future in your chosen pursuit. I hope you took something useful from this piece; I have posted a further series of quick reads on my own little corner of Reddit – would be great to see you there.
2
Anxiety and child visitation
I am a single mom raising children on my own since their dad passed away in a tragic accident. Eventually I moved on and started seeing this guy thought he was awesome and thought we were in love. We had 2 children during the relationship. But the 2nd was born after we had split. Reason we split is bc I found out he was abusive and was cheating. Mostly he hit me and yelled at me all the time and broke things. He had been to jail once then again at a later date when I took him back. He was on a retired docket. He now has pending charges that has been put off for 16 months now and is going for a FINAL grand jury hearing at the end of June. He hired a lawyer about 7 months ago to get too see his daughter, but not the other child. We ended up in mediation, long story short he got weekend supervised visits. We meet in a public place but we have a order of protection still active. He was harassing me at every visit and coming to my car and opening my doors and that was not allowed, so I had the judge sign if where I can park 2 buildings away and have someone carry her to him. I have severe PTSD and anxiety.. This has made it a thousand times worse. Each time I have to take her it gets worse and worse. I am now seeing a doctor and I don't know if I should bring up my condition in court. I try to bring somebody with me each time so I can have emotional support but it ends up in a full blown anxiety attack each time. And I have to turn around and get her a couple hours later. Sometimes he comes to the visits sometimes he doesn't. It is very stressful only as I am having ptsd/flashbacks and panic attacks each time. I am trying really hard to manage it. I have not brought this up to the court yet. I also have a lawyer. We have taken him back to court to help get it dropped, But the judge gave him a slap in wrist for now and said to behave himself and told us to a better job co parenting.. I almost blacked out this past time. Any advice? 🙏
1
My friends ignore me
There's been a pattern of me reaching out to my friends that I'm struggling and them completely ignoring me. Not skirting the issue and changing the topic, just never responding. There was one friend I realized too late our relationship may have been quite unbalanced, so I'd understand thier decision. For the others though, it wasn't overwhelming trauma dumping , just me admitting I was struggling and was looking to talk about our issues or just wanted to see someone's face again. They responded when I sought guidance before; I trusted them. And they just completely ignored me. I feel so humiliated. It's one thing to not know what to say or even set boundaries around what you're comfortable discussing or not, but to completely turn your back on someone you cared about for so long, to be that apathetic, it's just so fucking cruel.
1
27 and Stuck
Hi. I'm posting this because I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm 27 years old, and my life is literally going nowhere, no exaggeration. I'm an introvert and suffer from anxiety. In the 10 years since high school I have gained a qualification and a badly paying job (which I hate), and that is the only thing that has changed in my life. In a decade. I'm still single (never been on so much as a date) have barely any friends, still live with my parents, don't have a licence or car because driving scares me, have barely any savings because I spend money on expensive things to feel better. I'm so behind on life, and the awful feeling that gives me eats away at me 24/7. Being single bothers me the most. I'm quite miserable 90% of the time. I can't seem to force myself to do anything outside of my comfort zone, and don't know how to make myself do so, or why I find these things so hard that other people just...do. And meeting people-both for friendships and dating- is something I don't know how or where to do because I don't drink and hate bars, clubs, parties etc. Does anyone have any advice? (other than therapy because I'm working on that, my 2nd session is tomorrow).
6
some have it easy
How is that some people have it all easy? or at least it seems that way Like that rich white girl who’s biggest struggle Is that “she can’t eat gluten” And barely has to work to get the spot we’ve all been dreaming of Since only like forever Or the white male whose parents coddled him Whose biggest problem was trying not to cheat too soon Who still lives at home, not a single bill to pay Who gets whatever he wants irregardless of consequence Then there are those like me who are beat down time and time again by society Told that there not normal, not meant to fit in, not enough Who try so hard and still fall short because the challenges they face overcome their dreams and ambitions Those like me who spent so long trying to fit it the cookie cutter shape of society Who no longer try to fit that mold and still fall short when they reach for the stars Some people have it all easy Like that white man sitting on the hill telling women what do with their bodies Or that committee member who looks at my application and says it’s not enough Then there are those like me
4
Symptoms?
Hi all. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for several years now. I'm also autistic and just got diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type. During my testing for ADHD, she also assigned tests for my depression and anxiety I guess because this was the first time I saw this doctor and she wanted to confirm? What surprised me though when I got the results was that I placed in the 94th percentile for trait anxiety. Anxiety was something I fought back against for awhile, I really didn't believe I had the symptoms. I've come to see some of them now, but I was shocked to learn I placed so high for anxiety. I've never had a panic attack or anything close, never thrown up from stress. Insomnia is probably the biggest symptom for me. But, in response to me joking about depression not being my headliner illness anymore, my partner told me that my anxiety has probably caused the depression. I guess I'm just a little confused how I can rank so high but not show any big symptoms? I'm also not sure how much interaction is going on with my others, like I know ASD can really affect the symptoms of depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar or can share their own, less common symptoms?
3
New to the group
Was wondering if I could post images of paintings I have done since being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The depression got considerably worse after I lost my right leg and I paint abstracts as a way to cope. Sometimes it works sometimes it don't. Let me if it would be ok, have a great holida y weekend.
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Anyone find gabapentin to work brilliantly for their anxiety/depression, better than SSRI’s?
Anyone find gabapentin to work brilliantly for their anxiety/depression, better than SSRI’s?
2
Anxiety & Relationships
I’ve been struggling to communicate in my relationship because every time I speak and I see any kind of look that indicates to me my man is getting upset by what I’m saying it’s like I go into full anxious defense mode. I can no longer function, it’s like my body is frozen in time, I can never decide whether to try and communicate what I’m feeling or avoid it all together. I don’t want to necessarily stop trying to communicate with my partner but we run into this every time. I believe I freeze up because if I say something it always seems to go bad, people start yelling and then my anxiety levels are plain through the roof. However, if I say nothing at all, I’m not attempting to communicate and I’m just dealing with all that anxiety internally and sometimes externally still too. Any advice?
2
DEREALIZATION FROM LEXAPRO?
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Just a little vent
I know relationships aren’t perfect or anything. But having some consideration in someone feelings matters as well.. apart of me wishes I never gotten pregnant.. because all it’s done is set me back a lot.. the only good thing out of this I’m actually taking my own advice because I never did.. like me stressing and everything caused me to bleed today and me not doing my part as person in this makes it all the worse.. I don’t really have anyone to go to.. that’s what sucks the most out of all of this..
3
why am I like this!!
hi friends instead of going to a therapist I will just be using Reddit as always, I’m 23 (F).. today I wanna talk about attachment issues. I’ve struggled with this for as long as I can remember. It’s incredibly hard for me to maintain relationships with men because I cling on and get way too attached and it scares them. I absolutely crave male validation and affection, like I almost can’t keep my hands off them. And when things end, it can take me months to get over. Like I’ll literally become so depressed UNTIL a new guy comes along and I forget all about the other one. I constantly stress in relationships that they will abandon me & if they don’t text back for a while I get super anxious. I currently take Zoloft to minimize my emotions because I’m so tired of feeling this way. I constantly need reassurance and I wish I wasn’t this way. I don’t understand it.
2
Vampire capitalism produces severe and chronic ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION. Check out this piece by Belen Fernandez titled "Capitalism is bad for your mind". Our minds are often not the problem. Our minds don't need as much therapy. Send the greedy vampire capitalists to therapy. Make greed ILLEGAL.
https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2022/10/10/mental-health-day-us-capitalism-is-bad-for-your-mind
1
Dealing with sudden breakup
On Monday, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, it didn’t make much sense because same night he broke up with me he was asking me to hang out with him on Wednesday with his kids at the park, we got into a little argument because I had taken something he said too seriously and he was just shutting down instead of talking to me, so when I got home he texted me that he can’t deal with all my questions and interrogations because he is a private person and that he hurts every day and he can’t drag this on any longer and wants no communication whatsoever with me. I’ve been trying to deal with it, it’s really hard, doesn’t make sense to me, sort of does, I know he was depressed for a while and stopped taking his medication for that and when I had suggested he see someone about it, he didn’t want to. I put so much into this relationship and put him above everyone else (which now I have extreme guilt over) and this hurt in my stomach and heart is making it hard to eat or sleep.. has anyone else gone through something like this? What helped? I do have an appointment with a therapist and I am going to spend the summer to work on myself, but how do I get through the next few weeks without breaking down? I missed two days of work, but thankfully my boss was understanding.. I just want sleep again and I’m so tired, but my mind won’t stop going over everything in my head. 🙁
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worried:(
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Anxiety over napping
Napping has always been a way for me to recharge and rejuvenate, especially when I'm feeling exhausted or stressed. However, over the past few weeks, I've noticed that when I wake up from a nap, my heart is pounding like crazy. It's quite disconcerting, and I find myself worrying about what might be causing it. This experience has started to make me anxious about taking naps altogether. I find myself hesitating to lie down for a quick snooze, fearing the intense heart racing that awaits me upon waking up. It's as if my body is having a fight-or-flight response, which only exacerbates my anxiety. I've done some research online, and while I've come across various explanations, such as the body transitioning between sleep stages or an adrenaline rush upon awakening, I haven't found any definitive answers. That's why I'm turning to you, the Reddit community, to see if anyone can relate to this or shed some light on what might be happening. Should I go to a cardiologist to see if everything is ok? Thank you
5
I just don’t think I’m ever going to be normal and I’m tired of trying. Long vent.
I am just tired of life. Like I just wish I could fall asleep for ever. I feel like my life will never be anything besides this and this just doesn’t feel worth it to me. I look back on my 20’s and I was so sad all the time. Always trying to make it threw the day and being nervous being about what would happen tomorrow I never let myself enjoy anything. I never let my self have any fun and I beat myself down with self hatred at any opportunity. I was determined to hurt myself and I didn’t know why. I know now it’s because I hated myself but I don’t really know why I just walked around with this cloud of im not good enough anywhere I went. I just kept throwing away everything I worked for. I could set goals accomplish them and then tell myself all the reasons I still wasn’t as good as my peers. Eventually I stop trying to do anything because I knew no matter what I did there would always be someone better and more deserving of what I want then me. I dropped out of college because I wasn’t smart enough to be there and eventually they would see it too. I had a lot of issues with money because I need people to see me as valuable I bought cars and clothes I couldn’t afford maxed out credit cards, bought expensive gifts I was just trying to be worth something. Every breakup was excruciating for me because I agreed with everything and believed everything they didn’t like about me I believed every break was 100% my fault and they deserved to leave me because they could do better and if I could just be better they would stop leaving me but they never did. I gave away everything I had and now I’m empty. I hated how I looked so much i just remember sitting on my iPad for hours circling all the areas I’d get fixed if I could comparing my body to every women I saw until I didn’t leave my house for weeks at a time if it wasn’t for work. Nobody understood why I kept doing this to myself I didn’t even know myself I couldn’t put it into words then how much I hated myself but nobody else saw what I saw and it was frustrating. Once I had isolated myself as much as I could from the world I just ate all my feelings. And I ruined the body I worked so hard for. And now I look back on those pictures and feel so sad I did this to myself. Because I wasn’t fat ever I was beautiful but now I’m fat and I hate I did that to myself. I was smart enough to be in college I was smart enough for everything I did I just ruined myself. I always thought I’ll be happy if I do this or that or buy this but I never got any happier and I wasted my 20’s. I didn’t think my life would turn out like this I had every opportunity to be different I had a good childhood and a good family. I never really had big plans for my life I never really wanted to do anything besides getting married and raise a good family in our small town. I was happy and content with that thought so once that wasn’t happening I had no plan b I didn’t know how to course correct so I just got more and more obsessed with that idea that if I was good enough somebody who have wanted to married me so it had to be me. People got married everyday and I just despised everything about myself for not being able to do the same way. It was hard to go threw at the time but it’s really harder now that I see what I did to myself. And I know I’ll never get that time back. Now I’m 31 and I feel like it’s to late for me to change. And I’m going to waste my 30’s too punishing myself for my 20’s. I wish that I could change but I don’t know how. I don’t think that I can. I tried to check all the boxes for healing I’ve been on the retreats, read so many books, I tried new looks, I’ve been to church, I’ve been threw 2 therapist already. I don’t know therapy is suppose to make me feel but I feel I’m paying someone to listen to me cry for 2 hours a week. But it’s not working because I can’t see what they see and I don’t know how to make myself believe something that isn’t true to me. I’ve been like this sense high school I don’t know what or how long it could take to change but I think it would take a very long time but I don’t have anything left to fight with or for. I have nobody but me I don’t have any friends because of me and how insecure I am. I haven’t dated or had a boyfriend in years. I don’t have kids or siblings my mom died a long time ago. If I dated today if would take days for anybody to notice and that only because I work. I don’t ever wanted to go anywhere I’m ashamed of myself and how I look. People who know might notice how fast I’ve gained weight in the past 3 years and I never feel pretty. I hate working because people see so I only work enough to pay my bills and eat. I haven’t went anywhere or bought myself clothes in years. I don’t have one feel good outfit. I could have to be here for a lot longer and I don’t want to because I’m already dead. I can’t bare to watch myself do this again. I’m tired of watching life happening around me and I can’t be apart of it. I just hate my life so much.!
18
Depression/ Also Anxiety that worsens with caffeine/chocolate/exercise/sexual activity
Suffer from depression. best supplement so far that helps is pregnenolone. I used to take ssri but after shrooms, I became more sensitive to it and probiotics, anything serotonergic basically. ssris, probiotics, and shrooms helped for depression but not much for anxiety. also shrooms gave me mild HPPD. thinking about taking lamictal for it. since shrooms, my caffeine intolerance and my chocolate intolerance has worsened. never had chocolate intolerance, recent development. like even a small piece of a chocolate donut will worsen my anxiety. anything stimulating, even exercise or sexual activity flares my anxiety and I feel two parts of my head feel weird whenever my anxiety flares, above my temple regions. waking up without much sleep also gives me bad panic/anxiety often. Any medication or supplement good for this? Ive tried l-thenanine, ashwaghanda, lion mane, sam-E, magnesium. Im thinking about trying CBD without THC and lamictal (helps with HPPD, possibly also for depression and anxiety, although its mainly for bipolars, which I am not). Cold showers do help my depression but dont do much for my anxiety. weirdest thing ive noticed is that usually my depression flares when my anxiety lessens, but when my anxiety flares, i cant feel my depression or not much of it.
1
First Psych Evaluation Tips
Title says it all. I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist in a couple weeks and I’m super nervous. I don’t wanna clam up and not say anything. But I also don’t wanna overshare. What is normally considered appropriate? I’m told it will last a full hour. Do I tell them what I think is wrong??? Let them come to their own conclusions? I just want to ensure I’m getting the most outta the appointment. It took a lot to get me this far.
7
Waking up with low grade depression and anxiety
I was wondering if anyone wakes up with anxiety and depression that gets better throughout the day? The depression is more like a lack of emotion that’s so draining and the anxiety brings on physically uncomfortable sensations. Why would this be so prevalent in the mornings and begin to subside as my day goes on? I ate 2 fig newtons as soon as I woke up thinking this could be a blood sugar situation but I’m still dealing with this. Would exercise help? I’m so tired but I wake up around 4:30am every morning bc my cat wants to be fed and after that it’s difficult to fall back asleep. This morning the anxiety didn’t kick in until around 8:30 (it’s usually 5:30 so I guess that’s an improvement) but I just don’t understand what’s going on with my body. I’ve been take clonazepam for the anxiety (only .5 mg) and it’s starting not to work as well. It feels like tightness is my diaphragm and I’ve been trying to use a heating pad to no avail. I’ve tried short periods of stretching and that doesn’t work either. I’ve listened to meditation in the morning, tried chanting- nothing breaks my morning anxiety and depression. Any ideas?
3
Anxiety/panic attack disorder therapy
Good day, I have been suffering with generalized anxiety and panic attack disorder for the last 8 years. My current SSRI medication has stopped working for me and I am on the highest dose. I am now signed up for therapy with a mental health provider. I am doubtful it will help but any success stories?
2
need some advice
i normally wouldn't do this but i kinda just need some advice and someone to talk to about my anxiety and depression 14M
2
I am tired
I am tired of everything friends, responsibilities, life. I'm exhausted i just want to lay in bed and cry till i fall asleep.
10
Lexapro
I (29F) have tried soooooo many meds. I tried Lexapro once and was willing to try again. This time, I’m anxious af and very agitated/restless. I’ll be asleep and feel my heart pounding and racing, I wake up and I’m a few steps from a panic attack. I’ve woken up 4xs today (sleeping through the night/day) with my chest pounding!! Currently pounding and feeling shaky, can’t take a deep breath without feel king uneasy. Idk what to do. I have recently been inconsistent with my meds bcus im moving but it was already bad it just got worse.
5
UK: What type of therapy have you found to be the most beneficial to you?
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2
All the help please
My days have been getting harder and harder. I suffer from dissociation and that causes a lot of my anxiety. My memory is also awful and it’s scaring me. I can’t go a single day without feeling absolutely miserable. I have the mental and physical symptoms of it all. I have tried almost every medication and I’m just so sensitive to everything that not one has worked out. Right now I’m on propanolol day 4. I have found nothing helpful, just more and more anxiety. I have been crying the past 4 days straight, I feel so uncomfortable, I’m ready to give up. I don’t feel right in my own body. I feel so scared and hopeless. I don’t ever want to leave my bed, I’m just so scared of these intrusive thoughts. That I’m going to do something I don’t want to. I just want this to end.
2
Do you think there is a link between anxiety, self-consciousness, and self-centeredness?
I started seeing a new therapist and one thing she said in our last session has stood out as my takeaway for the week: think of your self-consciousness as self-centeredness. Apparently, the key here is that awareness of self-centeredness would help oversome self-consciousness, since self-centeredness is naturally perceived as a negative attribute, and most self-centered people are not aware of it. Though, in reading definitions of self-centeredness, I struggle to identify with the qualities. I feel like self-consciousness is a state of hyper-self-awareness that enables the transparency of self-centeredness, and therefore, the ability to prevent it.
5
Advice for meds
I’ve been struggling with generalised anxiety for a few months following a severe panic attack and as a result it has sucked the enjoyment out of doing the things I liked doing previously, leading me to feeling a bit depressed too. I am normally quite an apathetic person but I’m experiencing raised levels of anhedonia currently. I’ve tried a number of different things to lift myself with little or no progress, including meditation, exercise etc. I’ve never been on medication but have been open to the idea of taking an SSRI, although I’ve heard they can make you emotionally numb, something that I’m already experiencing and don’t wish to aggravate. My question would be, is it a good idea to take an SSRI whilst already feeling the sensation of anhedonia? I don’t want to be free from anxiety and depression if it meant I was emotionally blunted even further.
3
How do I stop replaying moments in my head? It’s making me sick.
When I fuck up or embarrass myself, even when it’s something other people would say is “no big deal”, it causes me to totally collapse because I just canNOT stop replaying the moment over and over and over in my head. I’ll wake up halfway through the night and the moment will replay repeatedly, despite my best efforts to think about something else or clear my thoughts completely. I can’t seem to apply my DBT training in the moment. I feel nauseous, sleep-deprived, and in a constant state of self-hatred. How do I kill my thoughts?
10
anxiety
really bad anxiety and panic attacks since December hello , i’m not one to talk about my problems i normally just bottle everything up but recently everything has just got worse. i’m 19 years old and i am in physical and mental pain, from chest pains and abdominal pain- to hating myself and just eating the pain to go. i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and minor ptsd when i was 11/12 due to my dad physically abusing me for 9 years, and last year i was told i have anxiety disorder and depression still ( i’d thought i’d got better) and then in december i started having panic attacks weekly , i went doctors 3 weeks ago and they told me i’m severely underweight with a bmi of 17.3 , i was just wanting to know if there are ways to re wire my brain into feeling more positive about myself and how to take control of my anxiety and not let it control my everyday life
2
For overachievers : tips that helped me become gentler with myself!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=548d2NlEJKk&t=51s
1
Missing another day of work
I’ve had a bad couple of months . My anxiety and depression are off the charts, I don’t know what to do. I’m on medicine and I’m in therapy. i Know it’s a process but the people around me, I feel have no patience for it, so I’m more on edge This week has been bad. I feel my mom has no understanding of what I’m going through and when I try to explain she brushes it off . I feel very alone I guess and slightly suicidal because I feel it won’t get better. Anyway my stomach hurts
3
For anxiety
What is the best medication such as Zoloft for severe anxiety and social phobia?
3
Ketamine, Psilocybin, or Prescription?
Struggling with some depression. I’ve done therapy, better eating, exercise and sunlight and it’s not improving. I am weighing pros and cons of three approaches: 1) Ketamine, specifically Ketamine lozenges with accompanying therapy 2) Psilocybin (microdosing) 3) “traditional” prescription. I am leaning toward something like Wellbutrin because it claims it doesn’t cause weight gain. I’m pretty overweight and do not want to gain any more weight. I’ve tried many things to get rid of the weight without success so far. I was on Paxil many years ago and it was a horrible experience, so I’m a bit scared of option 3 but I’m feeling pretty desperate. Can anyone who has tried 1 or more of these routes let me know some of your personal pros and cons?
2
feel so alone and lost
I don’t know why I feel so alone. I’m so lucky to have a great partner and her sister who has become my sister and best friend. I feel like I don’t have anyone outside of my relationship. I feel like if my partner and I break up I’m fucked and I have to move back to my dads who make my anxiety skyrocket. I feel like I have nothing that is solid or consistent in my life and I’m always waiting for the ball to drop. Maybe that’s just apart of being in your 20’s?? I also feel like I’m just watching everyone around me succeed and I’m just getting stuck behind everyone. I don’t know what to do I wish there was something I wanted to do. I feel like I’m always caring too much and caring too little.
3
I hate myself
I have no good qualities and talents. I am dumb, ugly and fat. I see despise for me in the face of people I meet. I pity my parents that their child is so worthless and useless. How can nature make any person without any good qualities? Noone understands me. Even therapists couldn't help me. I am trying to study very hard. I make timetable and set targets to achieve but I am never able to complete my targets. I am only able to study for 3-4 hours out of the 10 hours I have planned to study and that too for only 2-3 days in a week. On most of the days of a week I get extreme negative thoughts and feel anxious that I can't even concentrate and understand concepts. I like the subject I am studying. I know I am not intelligent and I need to work very hard. But I feel very worthless and useless. I literally get voices in my mind that I am useless and incapable when I wake up in the morning. What should I do? I really need to work hard even if I am really an useless person to survive in this world.
1
muscle tension after quitting anxiety meds
It's my observation that my muscles are tense and not relaxed after quitting anxiety drugs and my sleep is also disturbed. Peristalsis is also affected This now creates all sorts of issues as I cannot sleep well , eat well and function well. I wish I can find a solution to this issues. I managed to quit meds many times but always have to go back after 4-5 months
8
Birthday depression
I was feeling upset about my upcoming birthday, I have had these past few birthdays when I'm severly depressed on that day and just want to go away and hide in a ditch. But this year it's hitting earlier, and I kind of got upset and started crying to my boyfriend that I was trying to be happy for this year's birthday, but got upset as I was kinda hoping he'd mention today that my birthday's only a week away from today now. He didn't. Much less even mention it, when I discussed with him, he did mention that I didn't make a big deal about his birthday last year either so I shouldn't really expect unequal treatment here. For some reason, even though it makes sense, I felt so terrible. Does anyone understand what this is?
5
So sleepy all the time because of Meds
I started taking Aripiprazol and also sertralin 9 months ago and they're like magic as they have greatly reduced my obsessive thoughts and mixed anxiety and helped me with motivation, but they have exactly 1 annoying side effect that being making me super sleepy at certain times of day and also making me sleep so much and still being tired For example yesterday i slept at 7:45 PM (yes I know super early) and i set my alarm to wake me up at 5:50 AM so I could get ready for school, thats just a little over 10 hours of sleep, when I woke up i was super tired and could barely get up, i made myself a cup of coffee because I can't live without it nowadays and in school I was also kinda tired and wanted to go home, on my way home i almost fell asleep in the car (not me driving), when I came back i took a 1 hour nap and woke up not feeling super energized, I drank my second cup of coffee so I could stay awake thought the day At about 4:00 PM I did some sports for 20 minutes while listening to music but after some time I got super sleepy again and couldn't do anything, but I also don't wanna sleep because it would be unhealthy to sleep for like 12 hours a day Anyway i talked with my psychiatrist about this and he said he'd change the meds for me after my exams are done since changing them during exams would exhaust me and prevent me from studying properly Anyway I'm just typing this as a vent because i might fall asleep at any moment 😴
7
Why does my panic attacks last for hours ?????
I've heard that panic attacks last for 20 to 30 minutes after that ure supposed to feel better but in my case it just gets worse my symptoms intensity what do I do
3
Arms feel tired and tingly
Medications: Buspar for GAD Yesterday I woke up and me left hand felt like it was kindve asleep. This happens to me every now and then cause I sleep on my arm but it usually goes away in a couple of mins. However, this time it stayed. My hand felt a little numb, I could still feel things but there was faint pins and needles feeling and my whole arm kindve felt achey, especially near my bicep. Fast forward throughout the day, the numbness in my hand and aches go away and now it’s in my right arm. It still is like this today, My arm kindve feels like how it does after you get a shot, but I haven’t had one. I have GAD, I did forget to take my pill the night before yesterday when this happened, I don’t know if that has something to do with it. I have been golfing recently a good bit after not doing it for a while, but the last time golfed was 3 days before I woke up with the feeling. I have health anxiety and tent to very much fixate on things and this has consumed my mind for the past 24 or so hours. I’ve had blood tests, CT scans, and MRI on my head with the past year and everything has been clean but I continue to feel fatigue and brain fog every day, and now this happening has got me in a rut. Anyone experience something similar before?
2
What I found about myself after thinking for a long time. I may be wrong but I think I know what to do now.
I procrastinate a lot. Procrastination is linked with anxiety & depression. This is the cause higher stress levels. The reason of procrastination is having low self esteem. Ultimately, the reason of having low self-esteem is being too self-critical of oneself . When that inner voice becomes too negative & ruminate on the fact that everything bad going around your life is all because you are incompetent, that's when it all starts. So, be more lenient on yourself and try to talk positive things with that inner voice. I Always thought that ,being harsh and negative on yourself seems like it will change something but it really does not.
5
Does it happen to have constant bad phase with triggers for like 2-3 days and then have a few hours of better coping and again that uncertainty?
I am having terrible anxiety and unable to cope up lately. I don’t know if it is me unable to keep up of this is usual to many? I am scare if I am just being coward to face and feeling uncertainty and triggers. I am unable to sleep since few days. I constant have this in chest. Could anyone please tell me if this uncertainty in pattern is normal or not?
10
Teetering on the edge of depression and in need of a little help..
I've been dealing with my anxiety for what feels like forever. I first triggered when I was 15, I'm now 35. I coped, and I managed as best I could, but things began to snowball around 10 years ago. Doctors called it health anxiety. Then social anxiety. Then generalised anxiety disorder. Then social claustrophobia. Who knew? Nothing new happened, nor much changed, I just lost the tight grip I had, and struggled to get back on top. Since then, it's been a slippery slope. I've gone from an outgoing person, to borderline agoraphobic. I tried SSRIs, but struggled to click with any. Citalopram, mirtazapine, fluoxetine. Nothing really took the edge off. Benzos are banned in the UK, so no valium. I tried hypnotherapy. I tried counselling. I tried alternatives in CBD oil and vape. All I want to do is press the button and turn off my head. I'd rather live as a zombie than constantly fighting triggers, symptoms and consequences. Now I'm older, I have health issues creeping in. And the anxiety is making them a billion times worse. I just want to turn off. Not snuff out. Just, turn off the signals. Turn off the triggers. I don't mean to put a downer post up, I'm just....struggling. I was always staying afloat with a life vest, but now i think there's a puncture. Has anyone any recommendations on where to turn next? My GP is useless. Not their fault, such is the shape of the UKs mental health services and the NHS in general. I'm back on the waiting list for NHS talking therapies (12-16 week wait..) and am considering sertraline to support the CBT.
1
How do I find a therapist?
I’m at a point in my life where I need to step up and take charge of my mental health, for my sake and for my loved ones. I refuse to let myself suffer anymore. I was in therapy as a teenager so I know it’s a good option for me but I need to look for one on my own now and I realized I don’t really know how? If anyone has any advice on finding a therapist and the process of contacting them and setting up an appointment I would greatly appreciate it
11
No support&intense anxiety
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2
Hi
Hi all. After a generally stressful time, topped off with a false allegation in work (which came to nothing, thankfully) I had a bit of a mental health crisis. The first time I've experienced anything like this. It manifested as severe depression and anxiety with some OCD features. I'm getting there thanks to meds and counselling, but wanted to join for a bit of support/info, and hopefully further down the line, to be able to offer some support to others. That's me, just wanted to say hi. :)
3
Any job ideas that won’t make me feel like I’m in constant panic mode?
Hello, new here. I will try to make this as short as possible. I resigned from a teaching position at the beginning of 2022 due to near daily panic attacks just thinking of going to work each morning. I’ve been working on my mental health since then (which is still in the shitter unfortunately) and also learning Salesforce. However, I couldn’t get any place to give me a chance and hire me without Salesforce experience, and now I don’t think it will ever happen with all the layoffs and all the people who have lots of experience looking for those same jobs. So, I just recently got hired at Meijer. I’ve literally only had an orientation and a day where I just did computer trainings, and I don’t go back in until Monday. But I am absolutely TERRIFIED and have the worst nausea right now just thinking about it. I’ve had multiple breakdowns about it already too over the last week. I truly don’t feel I can handle working there. But I literally only have retail and teaching experience so I don’t know what else to do. I’ve thought about warehouse jobs as you’re not around as many people, and it’s people I’d get to know, not dealing with the public all day. But I’ve heard they put tons of pressure on you. So I don’t know if that would be any better. It’s asking a lot I know, but does anyone know of anything I could do where they basically will hire anyone (aka no experience), the hiring process is quick, it wouldn’t be public facing, and definitely not answering phones/a call center. I’d rather do Meijer over that I think. WFH would be nice but not necessary; I’m near Indianapolis Indiana for location purposes. Thank you in advance for any advice!!!
4
Please someone relate to me.
Hello to anyone who is reading this. I guess I’m just looking for someone who understands how I feel and suffers from the same or similar mental illnesses. To know I’m not alone and I’m not crazy. So a little backstory. I’m 26F. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder at 19. I take antidepressants and have a short term anxiety medication as well for bad episodes that I rarely use because it makes me sleepy and I work everyday. I also struggle with alcohol abuse and I do heavily use marijuana. Which started early 2020 when the pandemic and lockdowns happened. I work 7 days a week and I’m doing okay for myself financially. I’m in a long term and really great relationship. All things aside from my mental state, my life is good and stable. I have a loving family and a few close friends. I know we all have things we go through and unfortunate events that makes us feel depressed or anxious. The issue I’m facing and the thing that’s scaring me so much is, these past 2 or 3 days, I’ve been suffering intense episodes of depression and anxiety that’s lasting almost the whole day. And there’s just no reason for it. My life is going fine. I’ve tried getting out of the house, took my dog to the park, hung out with family and had a couple great shifts at my job. I’ve tried talking to my fiancé but he only understands so much when it comes to mental disorders. Of course he’s felt depressed and anxious before, but he doesn’t suffer from the chronic illnesses like I do. And I just don’t feel comfortable opening up to anyone else about what I’m going through and therapy is expensive and hard to access in my area. I guess im just wondering if anyone else has gone through something like this and offer some advice. Do I just need to stop drinking? Smoking weed? Those substances never really effected me this badly before but I know things can change. Or does stuff like this just happen to people with mental illness and it will pass? I have an appointment with my doctor to discuss new medication potentially. But I’m really having a hard time dealing with the way I’m feeling. Anything helps and thank you for reading.
4
I’m an insane person
My cousin died… the second one in less than a year. This has been the WORST year of my life. I was told I lost all my strength when I started taking antidepressants. Idk if that’s true but I do know that I lost the ability to cry. I’ve been so emotionless, trying desperately to make it make sense. My cousin wanted to live. He had a daughter and a will to live. I don’t even have the will to get out of bed and off my meds my brain says “don’t be shy, yeet yourself off a building” but here I am and there he is. He died of random strokes. No one knows why he had the strokes he just did. So here I am in the shower trying to feel ANYTHING. Since I’m INSANE person I punch the wall. I feel pain. Since that seems to be the only feeling I’ve been feeling for months I figured it better than nothing. My partner comes and says he can hear me and what’s going on. I’m sure he’ll tell his support group and therapist. I wasn’t even angry when I hit the wall. I just needed to feel something however, that makes me feel even more insane so I just went with “blowing off some stream”. I promise I used to be a whole person. I used to be able to grieve and cry. Now all I know it pain. Be it emotional or physical. Idk I shouldn’t have hit the wall I’m an insane person.
2
So fed up, so tired
I've been struggling with debilitating anxiety and depression most of my life. Now that I'm in my 30s it's just getting worse. I've tried medications and different therapeutic techniques. It's like I always fall back. Recently due to some issues between neighbors (long story short they have tried to stab me and they have violent dogs that tore the front end off my friends car) and my previous employer holding me contractually hostage and that's been hardcore escalated. It's just so overwhelming.
10
I just want to breeeaaaatheeeeee
It's been days I can't breathe breathing exercises just makes things worse it makes my pains go insane I need to breathe ppl help
4
I am feeling weird stuff in my brain
I am currently diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I am slowly reducing the intake of a certain drug and starting a new one. Not only that, but I feel like my brain is melting, constant headaches, panicking I guess is what is happening as well (I feel threatened). Feeling like weird electricity that is flowing in wrong directions and hitting my skull. **Is this normal**? ... I changed my therapist as the first one was not fitting my needs. Should I be worried, or is it just the way things go? ... How can I stop the anxiety surge/attack, is there an effective way that really works in addition to the medicine ? ... Thank you all in advance for the help... My first post here ...
3
Severe medically resistant depression in Elderly Grandmother regularly ending up in hospital. What more can we do?
Grandmother FEMALE is 79 with TYPE 2 DIABETES (managed with diet) and a history of bad DEPRESSION all of her life and family history of growing up with a mother who also suffered from severe depression and periods of hospitalization. Recent STROKE without any lasting effects. Approximately 5'3-4" in height. Her depression is purely medical as in, she has not experienced trauma other than the damage of having had a mother with severe depression. But she has lived a very conflict free, safe and loving simple life with close family and friends. She has been on practically all depression medications at one time or another, she has electroshock therapy, has a therapist and attends therapy, has tried all kinds of medications and therapys and CBD products etc. Nothing works for long. Her depression has become worse and more frequently occurring as she gets older and now she also deals with terrible physical pain caused by the depression as well. She gets chest pain and terrible migraines I am her eldest grandchild and I'm also the only living family member she has who understands what she feels and is going through. I'm not diagnosed currently with chronic depression (mild but persistent I would identify my symptoms as) but I have gone through periods of depression due to circumstances and I am diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety disorder. I am also the only one who's got learning disabilities, physical disabilities, mental health issues, mild personality disorders and chronic pain conditions. I feel so helpless knowing there's nothing I can do for her, especially since she lives far away. A part of me wants to dive into the internet to try to find answers or anything to help, even if it's small or makes little difference. For example; getting her omega 3 supplements and Saint John's Wort and lavender tea, a sun lamp for depression, weighted blankets, magic mushrooms (???) Or hypnosis therapy etc. What more can be done? Can anyone suggest anything to suggest to her doctor?
6
I really need a break
Lately my thoughts are so overwhelming but at the same time when I try to focus on literally anything, it feels like pulling teeth! It’s gotten to the point where I’ve forgotten to do certain daily tasks at work and I just don’t know what to do anymore. My summer classes are starting soon and I just can’t get my head to relax… my body either.
5
Tried to post it to group about relationships but they declined my post
So Im F32 living together with my bf30. We are Together about year and half. All seems amazing and love is in the air. But unfortunately I'm struggling with my mental health ( he knew that from the beginning ) and today I had very bad depression and anxiety outburst and unfortunately today he had to go to his friends bd ( about 45 miles away) the thing is hes going there often and I never was against it. And birthday party is tomorrow but for some reason he said he has to be there the night before. So he left me crying in bed and just left. It just broke my heart into pieces. I don't know what to do now. One my part says I can't live without him although other part of me says he doesn't care about me and I should end it. What to do? What you would do? Please help...
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Am I oversharing in my relationship when I'm trying to be a better communicator?
I was hoping to get some feedback/other people's experience with being a better communicator in a relationship. For reference, of course I was in a less than pleasant relationship with the father of my child for about 10 years. I've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for over 2 years and when I'm upset about something or we have an argument, I have been trying to explain myself. Sometimes he doesn't even realize I'm upset or something has been bothering me. This may sound childish, but should I even tell him if he has no idea? Is that sharing too much?
2
Any advice?
Hi friends! I just came here to let this out and maybe get some advice from some people who relate? So I’m a 23 year old girl who is engaged and I have recently moved into my childhood home. We moved there in 2008 and I moved out when I graduated highschool in 2018 and moved in with my grandparents and then moved to college. My mom moved out on my 18th birthday and never went back. My step dad was very sick and I had a little brother as well. Long story short throughout my childhood a lot of traumatic things would happen and I’m realizing that I don’t remember a lot of my childhood. Like a LOT of it which sounds so dramatic but anyways. So I moved back to my hometown because I took a teaching job here and my childhood home had sat for probably 4 years because my brother and step dad eventually left. Because of the housing market and all that my fiancé and I decided to make the choice and move into my childhood home. Honestly I’m probably being so dramatic and I probably sound SO incredibly ungrateful but I have found myself so anxious and upset living in this house again. I’m slowly getting it fixed up but it is gonna take so much work and money to get it where I want it. It also has a mouse problem which for some reason has triggered me into just refusing to use my kitchen. I breakdown every time I’m in there and I end up going out to eat which is NOT good for me. I’m diabetic, I’m trying to save money, and I just love to cook but for some reason the mouse thing has just ruined me. We have also found 3 brown recluse spiders and I HATE SPIDERS with a passion. Like OMG. So my mental health has been very bad and I feel like my fiancé is starting to think I’m nuts and I just don’t feel like me… does anyone have any advice for any of this? Anything? Anyways, thank you for reading this far if you did ❤️
2
I can't do this anymore
I'm not suicidal or so.... but I definitely need to vent before I go insane... maybe someone can a bit understand it a bit. Or maybe I'm already crazy? Sorry for the long text. My whole life i needed to fight for everything I wanted to. I struggle with adhd. Homework always was a struggle, I basically sat there the whole time between coming home from school and bedtime. I didn't had any spare time, wasn't able to go outside, play or do anything else, making friends. My sister had every freedom in the world. She's 5 years younger than me. When she was about 10 years she first started struggle with eating disorder. I struggled already a bit with binge eating disorder, she started with anorexia. Few months passed by and she 'switched' to bulimia. When my parents went out on weekends she ate the whole food at home my parents stored. But they always said it was me because I was the 'fat one'. Even if I had the proof that it definitely wasn't me they didn't believe me. They catched her once and finally believed me, but of course they didn't apologise to me. They started doing everything for her. Buying her a horse. Paid for everything she wanted to. I worked beside school, even if I already struggled during school. My granny always was there for me, but she wasn't able to really help me. She was not strong enough to stood up for me. Not against my sister who always played against me nor my parents to treat me better. I never had any privacy. They always came into my room. While I was at school they read my diary. Said they would clean my room, but just did it to really control what I own. I never had a key for my room to close it. My parents divorce and my sister and I went with my mom to another town. My sister started drugs. Things escalated quickly. She got into physically fights with my mom. She brought suspicious guys home. And remember I didn't had a key to my room. She got diagnosed with 'maniac depression'. To escape my whole family I got into a relationship that was and still is toxic. I dont wanna go too much into it. Dad cheated on my mom, but his new girlfriend is 'soooooo great' and her kids are the best, cuz I'm just the fat one and my sister just the psychopath... sarcasm off The years went by and 2016 i got the first time sick with an erisipelia, it knocked me out for about one month. And even after I had problems with my right leg. 2018 I went into septic shock, because of it again and pneumonia. I needed to be reanimated 3 times. So I really was close to death. My dad went on a wellness trip with his new girlfriend. My mom just came into hospital a few times, and it basically ended just in fights. The only one who really came daily was my granny. And she needed to take a really long way to so this. She's not driving, had an accident with her bike a bit before. My sister showed up once. But basically it destroyed my body. The psychologist at hospital found out about my adhd, depression and anxiety. I always dreamed of having a family, a home with a garden, marry the guy of my dreams. But like I said before I stick to a toxic guy, can't have kids because of my septic shock and poor paid ion (I do love my job, but can't afford the education for getting paid better). My sister got pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl on Easter. The girl has heart problems and needed surgery. They weren't able to do this at our town so they flew her at the other side of the country. Before she gave birth I already loved the girl. I thought (now I just think how stupid I could have been) what a great opportunity for me to have a kid in my life who i could take care of and I really loved this little girl to death. They came back to the hospital in out town. I was sick and wasn't able to go into hospital and I really didn't wanna make this girl sick, she was through so much already. Now they back home since a few days. I made (and again who stupid from me) a decoration for her door, like welcome home. I needed to work alot, but drove to my sister (she's living next door to my mom and grandma) and wanted to visit and finally meet the little girl. I was really excited. She never openend the door, never answers the phone, maybe text me hours later that shes sorry that she wasnt able to make it. My whole family, also cousins and aunts and all those who aren't close (even those who she hate) to us met this girl, but if I wanted to, there was a' problem. ' they told me I shall be godmother. Ya sure I was excited. But what's the point when I never was able to meet her? I talked to my mom that it wasn't fair. But my mom just made excuses for her. I got into a fight with my mom too and it ended that I finally had the courage to block her. I'm currently working in a iob I love, I just hate the workplace. But because I'm sick I don't have a chance somewhere else. I stuck in a toxic relationship. I have no real friends, my best friend live on the other side of the world. I just wanna break out of this circle, but I don't have the energy anymore.. I needed to fight so much in my life, that I dont have the energy anymore to fight for anything anymore.
3
CANT GET HARD ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX
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I don’t know what to do
I’m starting to believe that my Mom doesn’t love me as much anymore. No, I am not nor have I ever been abused by my parents. I know she loves me, but I don’t believe it’s as much anymore. She had to stick up for me my whole life because everyone hated me for being a major pain. She loved me a lot as a kid, which is why I was homeschooled from 1st grade through High School. But now that I’m in my 30s, I believe her love has diminished. That started a couple years ago after my Dad passed away. The moment it happened, I thought she was gonna have a nervous breakdown. She has a horrible Facebook addiction, meaning she can’t put it down even for a millisecond. That’s why she relies on me too much to do everything for her, because she can’t put Facebook down. Since my Dad’s passing, she’s been focusing a lot on the End of the World. And I believe it’s because she loves Dad more than me nowadays and can’t wait to see him again. She has a therapist and I have no idea what they’re telling her. I don’t know what to do, because she won’t change. And it’s hurting me.
2
How to fix a broken heart?
Does any of u redit users know how to fix a broken heart? It took me years to realize that I was the problem I've been always mad about how things were always the same how I thought I was stuck in the same miserable area until I've discovered that I was just blindfolded I could not see the truth and that it was all my fault I was the one who's always unhappy, unsatisfied, worried all the time , lonely and miserable I think something inside me is broken , so ill that it does not function at all that dust storm of sorrow and anger inside of me was growing with me all these years until at some point it became too strong , unbearable it ate my soul and left me weak and miserable does any of you know how to revive a dead soul ? How to fix a broken heart and a sick spirit that sees no pleasure in life ?
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Paxil withdrawal
So I’m a hypochondriac which makes it bad enough. I’m absolutely mortified of dying and I’ve been taking Paxil to help me with this. Recently I ran out and I’ve been desperately trying to find a psychiatrist and it’s hard. I’ve been without it for about 4 days now. I feel the usual withdrawal symptoms and I just finally got a refill on my prescription. I did some research on Paxil withdrawal and I’m genuinely mortified. Everyone is saying it’s dangerous to go cold Turkey. I even read that someone picked up a guy who was having a seizure from his withdrawals. I don’t plan on quitting cold Turkey but even to taper off??? People are saying it’s horrible. I’m so so so afraid of dying as it is and I was never warned about this when I was initially put on Paxil. I’m angry and frustrated and scared. I don’t want to be on Paxil anymore but I don’t want to fucking die? Like I’m genuinely mortified. Any suggestions? Do you guys think I’ll die or have a seizure from quitting Paxil? This is gonna send me down a spiral I can feel it.
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I'm just tired
I've struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. I'm 39 now and have a good life but still feel miserable. Medication and counselling don't seem to help. I'm just incapable of loving myself. I'm exhausted...
22
Try juggling eating issues with a coping mechanism which involves overeating
It’s real fun I promise. The never ending battle of choosing between not wanting to eat/overeat due to my fears of weight gain and wanting to eat to soothe my depression and anxiety. Problem is eating is only a temporary solution for my depression and anxiety and a huge trigger for my eating disorder. So guess that wins. It’s all fun up in my head.
3
Chronic anxiety pain
It just never stops the pain in my chest and left side of the body it aches so much and never stops when will I ever be able to take a break from this ? I wake up and it hurts it keep on hurting until late at night when I finally fall asleep my tummy and head hurts I want to be able to breathe I live in this hell of pain everyday for years now and I'm just so sick of it
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Past 4am been trying to sleep since before 3am, anyone that can help?
I’ve spent one hour trying to sleep and I just can’t. It’s hot in my room and family won’t let me turn on the apartment ac because the bill will be too expensive. Idk what to do, I can’t sleep 😓 also, just had a pretty shit panic attack
1
had a dream about being possessed, and while in sleep paralysis. im really paranoid. and terrified. please help.
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Meds for prevent psychotic simptoms after antipsychotic withdrawal (supersensitive receptors)?
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Life insurance denials
Hi - I can’t get life insurance because of my medical history. Diagnosed with depression and anxiety. These are common ailments… I’ve tried 2 different online brokers… is there anything I can do?
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Have a developed anxiety?
I never thought of myself as someone who would have an anxiety disorder or depression. I was raised in an environment where these kinds of things were kind of laughed off (by myself included). I am an international student. Then I moved to the US a few years ago to go to grad school. At first I didn’t notice any change in my personality, but about 2 years in I noticed the following patterns that just didn’t go away: - I stopped doing my assignments in a reasonable amount of time and with less diligence - I cared less about negative feedback than before - There was an episode of a couple of weeks where I would wake up with stomach pains in the morning and shortness of breath. Sometimes I would even wake up crying because I felt trapped without a possibility to change my life quickly (I am not allowed to work off-campus because my visa doesn’t allow it) - I did some therapy sessions and the morning anxiety disappeared, but now I can feel it coming back (one year later). I am scheduled to graduate later this year and I am hoping that this is only because of my situation as a grad student. But what makes matters worse is that I am not used to there not being any public life like a market square or other walkable place where people congregate and socialize. Whenever I make friends, they either move away or are not interested in developing a deeper connection. Before you all suggest I am better off going back where I came from: part of the reason I came to the US was because my country, too, has problems. However, if this is normal, never congregating in public and no interest in genuine friendships, and it’s a cultural thing and not just me-lol- i may actually consider going back. Thank you all for taking the time reading this! I guess my question(s) is/are: - Do I have anxiety/depression from what I am describing in my post?
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U ever just be panicking and have to hide it I just wanna hide somewhere alone
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I feel sad today. I'm sure there are others? How are you truly?
I struggle with anxiety & depression. I am medicated and feel okay most days. Today however, I've been real emotional. I've just wanted to cry. I had work then taking care of the kids. I am now in my bed and can finally let it out. 😢
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Was supposed to finally start meds, but nervous about side affects
Good news: I finally have meds! Bad news: Apparently, drowsiness is a common side effect. I have a hard enough time staying awake as is and I have finals coming up. I can’t afford to be sleepier than I already am, so I’m just going to wait to start until June. I know I need to contact my psychiatrist to tell him that I’m not starting and that I should’ve asked more questions when he wrote the prescription. I hate making phone calls and am bad at human interaction, so realistically I’m probably going to procrastinate on telling him until it is awkwardly late 🙃
2
How do you write (book/story) with severe anxiety?
I realized recently how bad my anxiety has gotten over the last few years. And I have realized that in order for me to try and get better, I need to try and do things that help me feel like me again, and not like a shell. I have wanted to write a book for a very long time. I have loads of ideas but when I try and actually write them down and have a story progression I get overwhelmed by the amount of choices the characters have. Who will fall for who. Who will have tragedy. Who will have joy. So many choices and I understand that in order to write you need to write. But, my thoughts consume me and then I stop. So what I'm asking is, how do people with anxiety keep the story they want to tell straight in their mind. How do you not get overwhelmed with choices? How do you not get burdened by the want of your story to have universal themes and undertones and depth? I would truly appreciate any advice. From writer to... one trying to become the writer they want to be.
2
Propranolol for intense anxiety?
Psychiatrist prescribed propranolol 3 times a day for me week long and counting anxiety attack in anticipation of moving. You might remember my post of moving anxiety. I've been stuck in non stop terror affecting my while body for over a week. Please give been some hope that the propranolol will help.
3
Idk what I’m experiencing mentally
After a good day at school, I come home still feeling pretty good. Then I hear my dad start making gross mouth noises (lol) and I verbally get angry. I make grunting noises toward him or look at him angrily. I honestly don’t know how he handles that, I understand that what I’m doing is rude but I’m so irritated that I can’t help it. Then I’m getting ready for bed and as I’m brushing my teeth I start to think abt an “issue” I want to bring up to my bf. However I start to spiral without realizing. But when I do realize, it’s too late and it’s already affected my mood completely. I start telling myself “just stop thinking, stop” but in a rude way, multiple times. Then I remember I have a basket of clothes to put away and start doing it “quickly” to get it over with but just start kinda tossing things around and accidentally hurting myself and get mad even more. To the point where I start to breath hard and almost cry from anger. I’m not sure exactly what I’m experiencing. I would like to know so I can research a bit more and so I can help myself.
1
Anxiety when open the phone in public
I get super anxious when I'm on the phone in public. It's to the point where I can't talk proper or fully comprehend what the person I'm on the phone with is saying to me. It's even trickled into my work life. I work in the office 3 days in the week and I dread meetings on those days because of the fear that everyone around me is listening to me speak. I really want to improve this so I can be better able to run meetings and or engage in them without sounding incompetent. Does anyone have any tips/advice on how to overcome this?
6
do the iv amino acid terapy help with antipsychotic or drug withdrawal?
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Cold turkey went off meds for anxiety need help
I took celexa 20mg for a month, then was upped to 40mg and took them for maybe 2 weeks, last saturday was the last time I took one, on tuesday I felt ill like I felt like I was carsick despite not sitting in a car, i even threw up because of it, everyday since Tuesday I have felt this car sick type feeling and I have thrown up 2 more times since Tuesday due to the dizzy feeling, I’m thinking it has to do with me stopping my medicine cold turkey, I know you’re not supposed to do that but I wasn’t on it very long so I didn’t think it would affect me much, I don’t feel sick like a virus my stomach hasn’t hurt it’s just my head feels queasy or like this is how I feel when I try to read in a car, wondering what y’all’s experiences are with stopping medicine cold Turkey and how long did it last, I’m so tired of feeling like this and feeling like I could throw up 😪
4
Depression and Addiction
I am a 61 year old male diagnosed at various stages of my life with depression,ADD AND PTSD. The kicker is that I have addiction issues that fuel my depression and is probably the root cause. The hole if dug keeps getting deeper and darker. It does get worse as I’ve proven. I’m a functioning adult but I’m so tired of this monkey on my back. It’s hard to maintain the energy and discipline that is necessary for me to recover and have an enjoyable life. It seems I’m too use to misery and I should not be. Help, feedback please.
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Abilify is making my anxiety alot worse. Can anyone else relate or give me their experience? I've been on it for about 2 months. Does it get better?
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Do u ever just feel so tiafter doing one thing
I do one thing then feel extremely tired and sleepy Although I sleep well at night I be fighting the urge to close my eyes :c
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