jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Hello, Homer. Marge, you look dazzling. Oh, and look, I've brought noodle kugel.
Bad dog! Bad neighbor dog! Here, let me help you up, Mr. Burns.
I love dogs... babies, too.
Aaaah... kitty, kitty.
Are you all right, Mr. Burns?
Oh, of course. A little roughhousing with the pets is good for a man's appetite.
The latest polls are in. The statesman-like way you handled the pet incident has put you over the top. You're ahead fifty-one to forty-nine. Congratulations, Mr. Governor!
Excellent.
Bart, would you like to say grace?
Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothin'.
He's smokin'. He's smokin'.
"You know, Mr. Burns, my family and I feel that taxes are too high. Where do you stand on this highly controversial issue?"
Goodness! I didn't realize this casual dinner was going to turn into a charged political debate.
I was only reading what the card...
Homer, I agree with you and, if I'm elected governor , I will lower taxes whether those bureaucrats in the State capital like it or not.
Lisa, do you have a question you would like to ask your Uncle Montgomery?
Yes, sir. A very inane one. Mr. Burns, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?
Oooh, a tough question, but a fair one. Lisa, there's no single answer. Some voters respond to my integrity. Others are more impressed with my incorruptibility... still others by my determination to lower taxes, and the bureaucrats in the state capital can put that in their pipes and smoke it.
Oh Mom, that felt awful.
I'm sorry, dear. It will all be over soon.
But Mom, we've become the tools of evil.
Lisa, you're learning many lessons tonight and one of them is to always give your mother the benefit of the doubt.
...some can't even get a fair shake, or even a square deal... Ummmm, smells delightful.
All right! Three eyed fish!
Can I have your plate, Mr. Burns?
Ruined before it hit the ground.
Get me the city desk...
Here's your headline, Phil: "Burns Can't Swallow Own Story."
The latest polls indicate Burns' popularity has plummeted to earth like so much half-chewed fish.
You must have a few tricks left up your sleeves. Smithers, boil some coffee. We're not licked yet.
Yes, we are. Come on boys, the old guy's finished.
Wait! Come back! You can't do this to me! I'm Charles Montgomery Burns!
Smithers, tip over this table for me!
Yes sir.
Homer... Homer... make them stop.
Uh, Mr. Burns... Uh, Mr. Burns...
Shut up and wreck something.
Mr. Burns, I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions is going to accomplish.
She's right. Take me home, Smithers. We'll destroy something tasteful.
Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Simpson, I shall make it the focus of my remaining years that your dreams will go unfulfilled.
Uh oh. You're busted, Dad.
Oh. My dreams will go unfulfilled! Oh no. I don't like the sound of that one bit. That means I have nothing to hope for. Marge, make it better. Please. Can't you make it better, huh?
Homer, when a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling, and sleeping till noon on weekends, no one man can destroy them.
Hey, you did it!
So, Homer. What happened in Capitol City?
Aw, Barney.
Come on, Homer. We're dyin' of curiosity.
Look, there's only one thing worse than being a loser. It's being one of those guys who sits in a bar telling the story of how he became a loser. And I never want that to happen to me.
Please, Homer.
C'mom, Homer.
Well, okay. It all started on "Nuclear Plant Employees, Spouses, and No More Than Three Children Night," down at Springfield stadium.
Oooh, well, I think we lost 'em. Hey, and we're at the ball park. All right! Two birds with one stone. Okay, everybody out!
Hey, get on the bus, dancin' Homer.
You know, boy, some of the players you see tonight may make it to the big leagues, one day.
What? Aren't we gonna see any washed-up major leaguers?
Sure, we get a nice mix here.
I can't think of a better place to spend a balmy summer's night than the old ball yard. There's just the green grass of the outfield, the crushed brick of the infield, and the white chalk lines that divide the man from the little boy.
Lisa, honey, you're forgetting the beer. It comes in seventy-two ounce tubs here.
I hope you'll space out the tubs this year, Homer.
What are you getting at?
Well, last year you got a little rambunctious and mooned the poor umpire.
Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat, it also gives me the right - no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.
Ah, the Gammills. Good to see you.
You're an inspiration to all of us in waste management, sir.
Well, take your mind off contaminates for one night and have a hot dog.
Put a little smile on his card, Smithers.
Already there, sir.
The Simpsons, sir.
Ah, well, if it isn't the Simps.
Uh... Simp-sons, sir.
Huh? Hmmm, oh, oh yes... Homer and Marge Simpson. Oh, and these must be Bart, Lisa and uh, "Expecting".
The card needs to be updated, sir.
Oh, that's okay. The baby's name isn't important. Let's go, Marge.
Oh, wow -- there's Flash Bailor! I gotta get his autograph! He used to be a star!
Hey, Flash! Will ya sign my ball?
Lousy, washed-up, broken-down... old tub of guts... who does he think he is anyway...
What's the matter, boy?
He wouldn't sign my ball.
Well, he's a fine role model. Bart, give me that ball!
Hey, Flash, check out the mature quail headin' this way.
Hey there, little lady. What can Flash do for ya?
Here you go, Bart.
"Hmmm, Springfield Kozy Kort Motel, Room 26... How 'bout it? -- Flash."
Wow! Flash Bailor came on to my wife! You've still got the magic, Marge.
Hey, Dad, look, you're on JumboVision!
Hey everybody! How you doin'? Look at me! I'm Homer Simpson! Heh...heh.
Homer... Homer... X.Y.Z.
Examine my zipper? Why? Whoops!
Thanks, everybody.
Ladies and gentlemen, throwing out tonight's first ball, the man whose name is synonymous with our nation's safest and cleanest energy source, Mr. Montgomery Burns!
Ah, they love you, sir.
Heh, heh. As well they might. You know, Smithers, when I was a young buck, my patented fadeaway pitch was compared by many to the "trouble ball" of the late great Satchel Paige. Spit on this for me, Smithers.
One hocker coming up, sir.
What a lame-o!
I could actually hear the air being torn, sir.
Oh, shut up.
Hey, Burns! Hey, "Rag Arm"!
You throw like my sister, man!

Hello, Homer. Marge, you look dazzling. Oh, and look, I've brought noodle kugel.

Bad dog! Bad neighbor dog! Here, let me help you up, Mr. Burns.

I love dogs... babies, too.

Aaaah... kitty, kitty.

Are you all right, Mr. Burns?

Oh, of course. A little roughhousing with the pets is good for a man's appetite.

The latest polls are in. The statesman-like way you handled the pet incident has put you over the top. You're ahead fifty-one to forty-nine. Congratulations, Mr. Governor!

Excellent.

Bart, would you like to say grace?

Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothin'.

He's smokin'. He's smokin'.

"You know, Mr. Burns, my family and I feel that taxes are too high. Where do you stand on this highly controversial issue?"

Goodness! I didn't realize this casual dinner was going to turn into a charged political debate.

I was only reading what the card...

Homer, I agree with you and, if I'm elected governor , I will lower taxes whether those bureaucrats in the State capital like it or not.

Lisa, do you have a question you would like to ask your Uncle Montgomery?

Yes, sir. A very inane one. Mr. Burns, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?

Oooh, a tough question, but a fair one. Lisa, there's no single answer. Some voters respond to my integrity. Others are more impressed with my incorruptibility... still others by my determination to lower taxes, and the bureaucrats in the state capital can put that in their pipes and smoke it.

Oh Mom, that felt awful.

I'm sorry, dear. It will all be over soon.

But Mom, we've become the tools of evil.

Lisa, you're learning many lessons tonight and one of them is to always give your mother the benefit of the doubt.

...some can't even get a fair shake, or even a square deal... Ummmm, smells delightful.

All right! Three eyed fish!

Can I have your plate, Mr. Burns?

Ruined before it hit the ground.

Get me the city desk...

Here's your headline, Phil: "Burns Can't Swallow Own Story."

The latest polls indicate Burns' popularity has plummeted to earth like so much half-chewed fish.

You must have a few tricks left up your sleeves. Smithers, boil some coffee. We're not licked yet.

Yes, we are. Come on boys, the old guy's finished.

Wait! Come back! You can't do this to me! I'm Charles Montgomery Burns!

Smithers, tip over this table for me!

Yes sir.

Homer... Homer... make them stop.

Uh, Mr. Burns... Uh, Mr. Burns...

Shut up and wreck something.

Mr. Burns, I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions is going to accomplish.

She's right. Take me home, Smithers. We'll destroy something tasteful.

Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

Simpson, I shall make it the focus of my remaining years that your dreams will go unfulfilled.

Uh oh. You're busted, Dad.

Oh. My dreams will go unfulfilled! Oh no. I don't like the sound of that one bit. That means I have nothing to hope for. Marge, make it better. Please. Can't you make it better, huh?

Homer, when a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling, and sleeping till noon on weekends, no one man can destroy them.

Hey, you did it!

So, Homer. What happened in Capitol City?

Aw, Barney.

Come on, Homer. We're dyin' of curiosity.

Look, there's only one thing worse than being a loser. It's being one of those guys who sits in a bar telling the story of how he became a loser. And I never want that to happen to me.

Please, Homer.

C'mom, Homer.

Well, okay. It all started on "Nuclear Plant Employees, Spouses, and No More Than Three Children Night," down at Springfield stadium.

Oooh, well, I think we lost 'em. Hey, and we're at the ball park. All right! Two birds with one stone. Okay, everybody out!

Hey, get on the bus, dancin' Homer.

You know, boy, some of the players you see tonight may make it to the big leagues, one day.

What? Aren't we gonna see any washed-up major leaguers?

Sure, we get a nice mix here.

I can't think of a better place to spend a balmy summer's night than the old ball yard. There's just the green grass of the outfield, the crushed brick of the infield, and the white chalk lines that divide the man from the little boy.

Lisa, honey, you're forgetting the beer. It comes in seventy-two ounce tubs here.

I hope you'll space out the tubs this year, Homer.

What are you getting at?

Well, last year you got a little rambunctious and mooned the poor umpire.

Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat, it also gives me the right - no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.

Ah, the Gammills. Good to see you.

You're an inspiration to all of us in waste management, sir.

Well, take your mind off contaminates for one night and have a hot dog.

Put a little smile on his card, Smithers.

Already there, sir.

The Simpsons, sir.

Ah, well, if it isn't the Simps.

Uh... Simp-sons, sir.

Huh? Hmmm, oh, oh yes... Homer and Marge Simpson. Oh, and these must be Bart, Lisa and uh, "Expecting".

The card needs to be updated, sir.

Oh, that's okay. The baby's name isn't important. Let's go, Marge.

Oh, wow -- there's Flash Bailor! I gotta get his autograph! He used to be a star!

Hey, Flash! Will ya sign my ball?

Lousy, washed-up, broken-down... old tub of guts... who does he think he is anyway...

What's the matter, boy?

He wouldn't sign my ball.

Well, he's a fine role model. Bart, give me that ball!

Hey, Flash, check out the mature quail headin' this way.

Hey there, little lady. What can Flash do for ya?

Here you go, Bart.

"Hmmm, Springfield Kozy Kort Motel, Room 26... How 'bout it? -- Flash."

Wow! Flash Bailor came on to my wife! You've still got the magic, Marge.

Hey, Dad, look, you're on JumboVision!

Hey everybody! How you doin'? Look at me! I'm Homer Simpson! Heh...heh.

Homer... Homer... X.Y.Z.

Examine my zipper? Why? Whoops!

Thanks, everybody.

Ladies and gentlemen, throwing out tonight's first ball, the man whose name is synonymous with our nation's safest and cleanest energy source, Mr. Montgomery Burns!

Ah, they love you, sir.

Heh, heh. As well they might. You know, Smithers, when I was a young buck, my patented fadeaway pitch was compared by many to the "trouble ball" of the late great Satchel Paige. Spit on this for me, Smithers.

One hocker coming up, sir.

What a lame-o!

I could actually hear the air being torn, sir.

Oh, shut up.

Hey, Burns! Hey, "Rag Arm"!

You throw like my sister, man!