jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Oh, oh... I get it. Okay. Here's twenty bucks. Now will you tell me where my brother lives?
Mr. Simpson, I don't want your --
Just take it and tell me!
Detroit. He lives in Detroit.
Fine. Thank you.
Let's see, Powell, Powell... Powell... Pomerant, Poole, Popkin, Potter, Quigley, Quimby, Randolph... whoops, too far. Here it is, Powell.
Any luck, Homie?
No, I've called all three Herbert Powells in Detroit. Nothing.
Well, you want to try that H. Powell?
H! Of course. That could stand for Herbert! It's a long shot, but...
Y'ello.
Hello, is this H. Powell of Detroit, Michigan?
By any chance does the H stand for Herbert?
Woo woo! The H stands for Herbert! Herb, were you adopted?
From the Shelbyville Orphanage?
How did you know that?
Because... ... I'm your baby brother, Homer!
Hello? Hello? Hello? Stupid phone!
Hey, hey, knock it off! I'm here! I was just silent because of the emotion involved.
Oh, sorry.
Homer, I think we need to get together.
Okay, Brother! Grab the next plane to Springfield. We got a couch that folds out...
Uh, I'll tell you what...
Why don't you come here?
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Just a little further. Just a little further. Just a little further. Just a little further.
Bart! Lisa! If you don't behave, we'll turn this car right around and go home.
But Marge, I want to see my brother--
Oh for God's sakes, Homer, it's an empty threat.
Did you know you were going... Oh, sorry, sir. I didn't know it was you.
That's okay, carry on. See the way I handled that, Marge?
What does it look like?
Every day we're losing ground to the Japanese, and I want to know why!
Uh... unfair trade practices?
Mushy-headed one-worlders in Washington?
Uh, some sort of gypsy curse?
I'm tired of excuses! Why did I ever hire you Harvard deadheads?
Because you went there, sir?
Yeah, but Mommy and Daddy didn't pay my way. I had to work my way through, washing your dishes and scrubbing your toilets!
Oh, yeah, now I remember you.
Have you come up with a name for our new economy model?
You're gonna love this, Chief. The "Persephone!"
"Persephone?" What the hell kind of name is "Persephone?"
She was the Greek Goddess of Spring and rebirth.
And get this, sir. She was carried off to Hades by the King of the Underworld. While there, she ate six pomegranates...
People don't want cars named after hungry old Greek broads. They want names like "Mustang" and "Cheetah" -- vicious animal names. The problem with you guys is you've forgotten your roots. You, what are your roots?
Well, I guess you could say they extend to when the Angles met the Saxons.
Heehaw!
In other words, when white met bread.
Sir, we'd love to know what your roots are and what they have to teach us.
I have no roots. All I know is that, I'm just a... lonely guy.
Marge, this can't be the right address.
Hello in there.
Homer! Homer! Welcome to my home, Brother!
Holy moly! The bastard's rich!
Herb, allow me to introduce my family. This is my wife, Marge...
Hello. You old dog, she's gorgeous!
Thank you.
... and our three children, Bart, Lisa and Maggie.
Hello, sir.
Hello, Mr. Powell
All born in wedlock?
Yeah, though the boy was a close call.
So, Lisa, are you the little hell-raiser your father told me about?
No, sir. I can assure you I am not.
I'm the little hell-raiser, sir.
Would you like to hold the baby, Herb?
Oh, I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.
What's to know? Just dive in. Catch!
God, that new-baby smell. Homer, you're the richest man I know.
I feel the same about you.
While you're here, I want you to make yourselves right at home. Anytime you're hungry, anytime day or night, Cook will make you anything you want.
Even pork chops?
Absolutely. We have a tennis court, a swimming pool, a screening room --
You mean, if I want pork chops -- even in the middle of the night -- your guy'll fry 'em up?
Sure. That's what he's paid for. Now, if you need towels, laundry, maids...
We don't have a big one.
Wai-wai-wait, wait, wait. Let me see if I got this straight... It's Christmas day, four a.m., there's a rumble in my stomach...
Homer, please.
Your old man sure loves pork chops.
He sure does, Uncle Herb.
Bart, Uncle Herb sounds so formal. Do you think you could call me Unky Herb?
No problemo, Unky Herb.
He's adorable. My nephew's adorable.
Will you kids shut up?
So, Marge, a little about yourself.
Hmm, well, I met Homer in high school. We got married and had three beautiful children.
Wow, we have so much catching up to do.
Actually, I just told you pretty much everything.
Watch me dive! Watch me dive! Watch me dive!
Okay, we're watching.
I hope we're not spoiling them.
You weren't watching! You weren't watching! You weren't watching!
A millionaire!... I kept the wrong one. Look son, I'll come as soon as I can get outta here. In the meantime, pleeze don't do anything stupid.
Unky Herb, can I spit over the side?
I love this kid. Hock your brains out.
Ohh, oh, got him.
Hello, Cook? Sorry to bother you so late, but I got a hankerin' for some... that's right... don't forget the apple sauce!
Okay, Homer. Pick out any one you want.
Are you sure you want to give me a car?

Oh, oh... I get it. Okay. Here's twenty bucks. Now will you tell me where my brother lives?

Mr. Simpson, I don't want your --

Just take it and tell me!

Detroit. He lives in Detroit.

Fine. Thank you.

Let's see, Powell, Powell... Powell... Pomerant, Poole, Popkin, Potter, Quigley, Quimby, Randolph... whoops, too far. Here it is, Powell.

Any luck, Homie?

No, I've called all three Herbert Powells in Detroit. Nothing.

Well, you want to try that H. Powell?

H! Of course. That could stand for Herbert! It's a long shot, but...

Y'ello.

Hello, is this H. Powell of Detroit, Michigan?

By any chance does the H stand for Herbert?

Woo woo! The H stands for Herbert! Herb, were you adopted?

From the Shelbyville Orphanage?

How did you know that?

Because... ... I'm your baby brother, Homer!

Hello? Hello? Hello? Stupid phone!

Hey, hey, knock it off! I'm here! I was just silent because of the emotion involved.

Oh, sorry.

Homer, I think we need to get together.

Okay, Brother! Grab the next plane to Springfield. We got a couch that folds out...

Uh, I'll tell you what...

Why don't you come here?

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Just a little further. Just a little further. Just a little further. Just a little further.

Bart! Lisa! If you don't behave, we'll turn this car right around and go home.

But Marge, I want to see my brother--

Oh for God's sakes, Homer, it's an empty threat.

Did you know you were going... Oh, sorry, sir. I didn't know it was you.

That's okay, carry on. See the way I handled that, Marge?

What does it look like?

Every day we're losing ground to the Japanese, and I want to know why!

Uh... unfair trade practices?

Mushy-headed one-worlders in Washington?

Uh, some sort of gypsy curse?

I'm tired of excuses! Why did I ever hire you Harvard deadheads?

Because you went there, sir?

Yeah, but Mommy and Daddy didn't pay my way. I had to work my way through, washing your dishes and scrubbing your toilets!

Oh, yeah, now I remember you.

Have you come up with a name for our new economy model?

You're gonna love this, Chief. The "Persephone!"

"Persephone?" What the hell kind of name is "Persephone?"

She was the Greek Goddess of Spring and rebirth.

And get this, sir. She was carried off to Hades by the King of the Underworld. While there, she ate six pomegranates...

People don't want cars named after hungry old Greek broads. They want names like "Mustang" and "Cheetah" -- vicious animal names. The problem with you guys is you've forgotten your roots. You, what are your roots?

Well, I guess you could say they extend to when the Angles met the Saxons.

Heehaw!

In other words, when white met bread.

Sir, we'd love to know what your roots are and what they have to teach us.

I have no roots. All I know is that, I'm just a... lonely guy.

Marge, this can't be the right address.

Hello in there.

Homer! Homer! Welcome to my home, Brother!

Holy moly! The bastard's rich!

Herb, allow me to introduce my family. This is my wife, Marge...

Hello. You old dog, she's gorgeous!

Thank you.

... and our three children, Bart, Lisa and Maggie.

Hello, sir.

Hello, Mr. Powell

All born in wedlock?

Yeah, though the boy was a close call.

So, Lisa, are you the little hell-raiser your father told me about?

No, sir. I can assure you I am not.

I'm the little hell-raiser, sir.

Would you like to hold the baby, Herb?

Oh, I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.

What's to know? Just dive in. Catch!

God, that new-baby smell. Homer, you're the richest man I know.

I feel the same about you.

While you're here, I want you to make yourselves right at home. Anytime you're hungry, anytime day or night, Cook will make you anything you want.

Even pork chops?

Absolutely. We have a tennis court, a swimming pool, a screening room --

You mean, if I want pork chops -- even in the middle of the night -- your guy'll fry 'em up?

Sure. That's what he's paid for. Now, if you need towels, laundry, maids...

We don't have a big one.

Wai-wai-wait, wait, wait. Let me see if I got this straight... It's Christmas day, four a.m., there's a rumble in my stomach...

Homer, please.

Your old man sure loves pork chops.

He sure does, Uncle Herb.

Bart, Uncle Herb sounds so formal. Do you think you could call me Unky Herb?

No problemo, Unky Herb.

He's adorable. My nephew's adorable.

Will you kids shut up?

So, Marge, a little about yourself.

Hmm, well, I met Homer in high school. We got married and had three beautiful children.

Wow, we have so much catching up to do.

Actually, I just told you pretty much everything.

Watch me dive! Watch me dive! Watch me dive!

Okay, we're watching.

I hope we're not spoiling them.

You weren't watching! You weren't watching! You weren't watching!

A millionaire!... I kept the wrong one. Look son, I'll come as soon as I can get outta here. In the meantime, pleeze don't do anything stupid.

Unky Herb, can I spit over the side?

I love this kid. Hock your brains out.

Ohh, oh, got him.

Hello, Cook? Sorry to bother you so late, but I got a hankerin' for some... that's right... don't forget the apple sauce!

Okay, Homer. Pick out any one you want.

Are you sure you want to give me a car?