jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Hey, you know what these things cost me? There's maybe forty bucks worth of steel in them.
Oh, okay. I'd like a big one, then.
Dook on!
Why not?
Because Americans don't want big cars.
Well, then give me one with lots of pep.
Sorry, our cars don't have pep.
Why not?
Because Americans want good mileage, not pep.
Homer, tell the nice man what country you come from.
America.
Do you hear that, you morons? This is why we're getting killed in the marketplace! Instead of listening to what people want, you're telling 'em what they want. Homer, I need your help.
You do.
Yeah. I want you to help me design a car. A car for all the Homer Simpsons out there! And I want to pay you two hundred thousand dollars a year!!
And I want to let you!!
Homer, meet my team of engineers. They're gonna build your car.
Hi'ya, team.
Now boys and girls, this project is our top priority. Everything else is on hold. I don't want to see anything until it's finished.
Up-up-up-up-up! Direct all your questions to Mister Homer Simpson, the man with the vision, the man who's gonna bust this company out of its rut, the man who's going to change American transportation forever.
So, what kind of car would you like, Mr. Simpson?
I dunno.
Whatever you kids want to do today, you just tell Unky Herb.
Ohh, dear.
I want to go on a pony ride, Unky Herb.
I want to go on a boat ride, Unky Herb.
Pony ride!
Boat ride!
Pony ride!
Boat ride!
Pony ride! Boat ride! Pony ride! Boat ride!
Ahoy, Mateys!
Kids are so easy to please.
I really hope we're not spoiling them.
What's that?
The on-board computer.
All right. Wooo, what's that doohickey?
Mr. Simpson, your brother told you to help us with this car now, didn't he?
Oh yeah, he did!
Hmmm hmmm, then why don't you get us some coffee.
Oh, okay.
Batting nine. Unky, Herbbbb!
Ugh, oh boy.
Hey Homer, how's your car coming?
Oh fine. We're putting in an on-board something-or-other and rack-and-peanut steering...
Homer...
You didn't ask for rack and pinion steering, did you?
Uh, yeah, I think I did.
How could you ask for it? You don't even know what it is! You just called it rack and peanut steering.
Uh, may I be excused, please?
No! Homer, do you know why I gave you this job?
Because you think I'm a genius?
Nah, I don't think you're a genius.
Because you think I'm dynamic?
I don't think you're dynamic.
You think I work well with others?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Homer, I gave you this job because you're an average schmoo.
Oh, great.
All you need is a little self-confidence.
Ah, Unky Herb, I don't know anything about cars.
Can do, Mr. S.
Bye, Unky Herb.
Up...up...up. Listen to me, here's what you do. From now on, before you say anything, say to yourself, "If I was ever sure of anything, I'm sure of this." Do you understand?
Sort of.
Answer me again with self-confidence.
Sort of!
Now go get 'em.
All right you eggheads! I want a place in this car to put my drink!
Sir, the car has a beverage holder.
Hel-lo? Hel-lo Einstein? I said a place to put my drink. You know those Super Slakers they sell at the Kwik-E-Mart? The cup is this big!
Extremely large beverage holder.
And I'm not done yet. You know that little ball you put on the aerial so you can find your car in a parking lot? That should be on every car.
Little... ball.
And some things are so snazzy they never go out of style! Like tail fins! And bubble domes! And shag carpeting!
Bubble domes.
Y'ello. Uh-huh. Well, you know what, I'm glad you're nervous because that means we're on the right track... Uh huh... Uh huh... Uh huh... All right... all right. Okay, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna hang up, call me back and say the exact opposite of everything you just said. Good bye.
Bart! Lisa! Come over here!
What is it Unky Herb?
I want you to hear what the guys down at the plant think of your old man.
Y'ello.
Homer Simpson is a brilliant man with lots of well thought out, practical ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.
I want a horn here, here and here. You can never find a horn when you're mad. And they should all play "La Cucaracha."
And sometimes, the kids are in the back seat, they're hollering, they're making you nuts. There's got to be something you can do about that.
Maybe a built-in video game would keep them entertained?
You're fired! What is my brother paying you for?
What about a separate sound proof bubble dome for the kids? With optional restraints and nuzzles.
Bullseye! And another thing. When I gun the motor, I want people to think the world is coming to an end! VROOM! VROOM! VROOM!
The mouse is named Itchy.
Uh huh.
The cat is named Scratchy.
Uh huh.
They hate each other.
And they're not shy about expressing it.
Oh good, good, good, good.
To think I've wasted my life in board rooms and stockholders meetings when I could have been watching cartoons. This old fool has wasted his life.
Hello there. Do you miss the Antarctic?
Now this is spoiling them.
No! No! No! No! No!
Ladies and gentlemen... esteemed stockholders... members of the press... your Holiness. Tonight, we are going to witness automotive history.
All my life, I have searched for a car that feels a certain way.
Homer gets...

Hey, you know what these things cost me? There's maybe forty bucks worth of steel in them.

Oh, okay. I'd like a big one, then.

Dook on!

Why not?

Because Americans don't want big cars.

Well, then give me one with lots of pep.

Sorry, our cars don't have pep.

Why not?

Because Americans want good mileage, not pep.

Homer, tell the nice man what country you come from.

America.

Do you hear that, you morons? This is why we're getting killed in the marketplace! Instead of listening to what people want, you're telling 'em what they want. Homer, I need your help.

You do.

Yeah. I want you to help me design a car. A car for all the Homer Simpsons out there! And I want to pay you two hundred thousand dollars a year!!

And I want to let you!!

Homer, meet my team of engineers. They're gonna build your car.

Hi'ya, team.

Now boys and girls, this project is our top priority. Everything else is on hold. I don't want to see anything until it's finished.

Up-up-up-up-up! Direct all your questions to Mister Homer Simpson, the man with the vision, the man who's gonna bust this company out of its rut, the man who's going to change American transportation forever.

So, what kind of car would you like, Mr. Simpson?

I dunno.

Whatever you kids want to do today, you just tell Unky Herb.

Ohh, dear.

I want to go on a pony ride, Unky Herb.

I want to go on a boat ride, Unky Herb.

Pony ride!

Boat ride!

Pony ride!

Boat ride!

Pony ride! Boat ride! Pony ride! Boat ride!

Ahoy, Mateys!

Kids are so easy to please.

I really hope we're not spoiling them.

What's that?

The on-board computer.

All right. Wooo, what's that doohickey?

Mr. Simpson, your brother told you to help us with this car now, didn't he?

Oh yeah, he did!

Hmmm hmmm, then why don't you get us some coffee.

Oh, okay.

Batting nine. Unky, Herbbbb!

Ugh, oh boy.

Hey Homer, how's your car coming?

Oh fine. We're putting in an on-board something-or-other and rack-and-peanut steering...

Homer...

You didn't ask for rack and pinion steering, did you?

Uh, yeah, I think I did.

How could you ask for it? You don't even know what it is! You just called it rack and peanut steering.

Uh, may I be excused, please?

No! Homer, do you know why I gave you this job?

Because you think I'm a genius?

Nah, I don't think you're a genius.

Because you think I'm dynamic?

I don't think you're dynamic.

You think I work well with others?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Homer, I gave you this job because you're an average schmoo.

Oh, great.

All you need is a little self-confidence.

Ah, Unky Herb, I don't know anything about cars.

Can do, Mr. S.

Bye, Unky Herb.

Up...up...up. Listen to me, here's what you do. From now on, before you say anything, say to yourself, "If I was ever sure of anything, I'm sure of this." Do you understand?

Sort of.

Answer me again with self-confidence.

Sort of!

Now go get 'em.

All right you eggheads! I want a place in this car to put my drink!

Sir, the car has a beverage holder.

Hel-lo? Hel-lo Einstein? I said a place to put my drink. You know those Super Slakers they sell at the Kwik-E-Mart? The cup is this big!

Extremely large beverage holder.

And I'm not done yet. You know that little ball you put on the aerial so you can find your car in a parking lot? That should be on every car.

Little... ball.

And some things are so snazzy they never go out of style! Like tail fins! And bubble domes! And shag carpeting!

Bubble domes.

Y'ello. Uh-huh. Well, you know what, I'm glad you're nervous because that means we're on the right track... Uh huh... Uh huh... Uh huh... All right... all right. Okay, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna hang up, call me back and say the exact opposite of everything you just said. Good bye.

Bart! Lisa! Come over here!

What is it Unky Herb?

I want you to hear what the guys down at the plant think of your old man.

Y'ello.

Homer Simpson is a brilliant man with lots of well thought out, practical ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.

I want a horn here, here and here. You can never find a horn when you're mad. And they should all play "La Cucaracha."

And sometimes, the kids are in the back seat, they're hollering, they're making you nuts. There's got to be something you can do about that.

Maybe a built-in video game would keep them entertained?

You're fired! What is my brother paying you for?

What about a separate sound proof bubble dome for the kids? With optional restraints and nuzzles.

Bullseye! And another thing. When I gun the motor, I want people to think the world is coming to an end! VROOM! VROOM! VROOM!

The mouse is named Itchy.

Uh huh.

The cat is named Scratchy.

Uh huh.

They hate each other.

And they're not shy about expressing it.

Oh good, good, good, good.

To think I've wasted my life in board rooms and stockholders meetings when I could have been watching cartoons. This old fool has wasted his life.

Hello there. Do you miss the Antarctic?

Now this is spoiling them.

No! No! No! No! No!

Ladies and gentlemen... esteemed stockholders... members of the press... your Holiness. Tonight, we are going to witness automotive history.

All my life, I have searched for a car that feels a certain way.

Homer gets...