jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Powerful, like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding, like a Nerf ball. Now, at last, I have found it.
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the car designed for the Average Man... The Homer!
Any questions?
What does this monstrosity cost?
Uh, Jerry, what's the sticker price?
Eighty-two-thousand dollars! This monstrosity costs eighty-two-thousand dollars? What have I done! I mean the zoo was fun, but I'm ruined.
Bye, Unky Herb.
Bye, Herb.
Gee, Herb, because of me you lost your business, your home, and all your possessions. I can't help but think that maybe you would have been better off if I'd never come into your life.
Maybe I would have been better off?! Maybe? Why, you spongehead, of course I'd have been better off! As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother.
Maybe he just said that to make conversation.
His life was an unbridled success until he found out he was a Simpson.
I'm here! Now where's that millionaire chip-off-the-old-block I call Sonny-Boy?
Get in, Dad. I'll explain on the way home.
I knew you'd blow it.
What is it, boy?
I thought your car was really cool.
Thanks, boy. I was waiting for someone to say that.
No! No! No! Bad dog! Let go! Bad Santa's Little Helper! Stop it! No, not the sports section! No!
Stupid dog.
No! Stay away! This is not for you! This is Homer food.
Time to get up, Lisa. It's a school day!
Hmmm, Lisa, you don't look well.
I'll make it, Mom. Just tape my lunch box to my hand.
Ohhh.. my, you're burning up, and your cheeks are so swollen. I think you have the mumps. I'm calling Doctor Hibbert.
Marge, the dog is hungry!
Well, then, feed him!
Yes, Master.
You're my best friend. You're my best friend. You're my best friend...
Hello, Doctor Hibbert? This is Marge Simpson.
Uh, not that I'm angry, but how did you get my home number? I see, quite ingenious.
Doctor, I think Lisa has the mumps.
Well, Mrs. Simpson, much as I'd like to rely on your diagnosis, I think it might be professionally derelict of me to do so. Let me check my schedule.
Mm hm. Two o'clock is fine. Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.
No way! She's faking! If Lisa stays home, I stay home.
If Bart stays home, I'm going to school.
Fine. Then...
Wait a minute. If Lisa goes to school then I go to school, but then Lisa stays home so I stay home, so Lisa goes to school...
Lisa, don't confuse your brother like that. Have a nice day at school, Bart.
Get my homework from Mrs. Hoover.
Homework? Lisa, you wasted chicken pox. Don't waste the mumps.
Hey, Bart-dude.
Hey, Otto-man.
Yo, hairy bro.
Go home, boy! Go... home!
You! Wandering mongrel! Get out of my Mom and Pop operation!
Y'ello.
Simpson? This is Sylvia Winfield. That canine of yours is in my pool again. I'm calling the dog warden right now!
Oh, are you? Well, you go ahead and call your precious dog warden, you old battle-ax, because my dog is tied up in the backyard.
There's only one family on this block... no, on earth... inconsiderate enough to let a monster like that roam free.
Are you losing your hearing, or are you just stupid? I am going to explain this to you one more time, and then I am going to hang up on you. It is not my dog. I tied my dog outside myself. I am looking at him right --
Hey Lenny, I need to leave early. Cover for me, will ya?
Hey, sure thing, Homer.
Well, howdaly-do, Simpson? Gettin' a little exercise, eh? Good for you, pal. Oh, look at this old rascal! He's a wet old baby boy, isn't he? Isn't he? You're just a water monster.
Well, well. Mr. Universe takes a walk. Haw, haw!
Mr. Universe, I wish!
Look at that get-up. Heavy hands, ankle weights, that's cute, and ... Assassins!
Oh, you betcha! You know, they got velcro straps, a water pump in the tongue, built-in pedometer, reflective sidewalls and little vanity license plates.
Oooh! Oooh! How much? How much? How much?
Well, you know they're not givin' 'em away. But sometimes you've just got to spoil yourself.
Whoops, my heart rate's dropping. Better skedaddley-do.
Hmmm, huh. discoloration of the saliva glands,
Oh dear.
...swelling of the peritage.
I knew it.
Yeah, it looks like little Lisa has the mumps. I guess you'll be missing a week of school, young lady.
Oh, no. I don't want to fall behind my class.
Oh, such responsibility for such a little girl! What's your favorite subject?
Arithmetic.
Arithmetic! Now before you know it, you will be back among your polygons, your hypotenuse, and your Euclidean algorithms. Now, you get rest now and have yourself a wowwipop.
Y'ello, Hi, Lisa, what's wrong? The mumps? Oooh, the kissing disease! My little girl is growing up.
Yuck. Quit it, Dad.
So what does my little girl want? What? Let me write this down. Copies of "Teen Dream... Teen Scream... and Teen Steam Magazine." Well, okay. You're the sickie. Goodbye, Lisa.
Well, Lisa, here it is; the Bouvier family quilt.
Wow. Neat. It smells historic.
For five generations, women in our family have each added a square to it. Now it's your turn.
Oh, but I don't know how to sew.
Oh yes, you do. You just don't know it. The memory of a million drop-stitches flows in your veins.
Very impressive!
You try it.
You just need to develop a callous. See?
You see. Now that's a sewing finger, honey.
Oh man, two dollars. Uh, I'll take these three... They're for my daughter.
Sure they are.
Assassins!
Oh, a hundred and twenty-five bucks!
Sometimes you gotta spoil yourself... spoil yourself... spoil yourself.
But I can't afford to...
Simpson, I order you to buy those shoes!
Okay, Flanders, you're the boss. Heh, heh, heh.
This one's mine.
"Keep on truckin'"? What does that mean?
I didn't know then, and I don't know now.
Here's your stupid homework.
Ooh... phonics, functions, vocabulary, remedial reading? Oh, do your own homework, Bart!
Here's your magazines. How many of these guys are named Corey?
Eight. Thanks, Dad.
Whoa! Assassins!
Yep! Hee, hee. Read 'em and weep.
Those are very elaborate sneakers.

Powerful, like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding, like a Nerf ball. Now, at last, I have found it.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the car designed for the Average Man... The Homer!

Any questions?

What does this monstrosity cost?

Uh, Jerry, what's the sticker price?

Eighty-two-thousand dollars! This monstrosity costs eighty-two-thousand dollars? What have I done! I mean the zoo was fun, but I'm ruined.

Bye, Unky Herb.

Bye, Herb.

Gee, Herb, because of me you lost your business, your home, and all your possessions. I can't help but think that maybe you would have been better off if I'd never come into your life.

Maybe I would have been better off?! Maybe? Why, you spongehead, of course I'd have been better off! As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother.

Maybe he just said that to make conversation.

His life was an unbridled success until he found out he was a Simpson.

I'm here! Now where's that millionaire chip-off-the-old-block I call Sonny-Boy?

Get in, Dad. I'll explain on the way home.

I knew you'd blow it.

What is it, boy?

I thought your car was really cool.

Thanks, boy. I was waiting for someone to say that.

No! No! No! Bad dog! Let go! Bad Santa's Little Helper! Stop it! No, not the sports section! No!

Stupid dog.

No! Stay away! This is not for you! This is Homer food.

Time to get up, Lisa. It's a school day!

Hmmm, Lisa, you don't look well.

I'll make it, Mom. Just tape my lunch box to my hand.

Ohhh.. my, you're burning up, and your cheeks are so swollen. I think you have the mumps. I'm calling Doctor Hibbert.

Marge, the dog is hungry!

Well, then, feed him!

Yes, Master.

You're my best friend. You're my best friend. You're my best friend...

Hello, Doctor Hibbert? This is Marge Simpson.

Uh, not that I'm angry, but how did you get my home number? I see, quite ingenious.

Doctor, I think Lisa has the mumps.

Well, Mrs. Simpson, much as I'd like to rely on your diagnosis, I think it might be professionally derelict of me to do so. Let me check my schedule.

Mm hm. Two o'clock is fine. Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.

No way! She's faking! If Lisa stays home, I stay home.

If Bart stays home, I'm going to school.

Fine. Then...

Wait a minute. If Lisa goes to school then I go to school, but then Lisa stays home so I stay home, so Lisa goes to school...

Lisa, don't confuse your brother like that. Have a nice day at school, Bart.

Get my homework from Mrs. Hoover.

Homework? Lisa, you wasted chicken pox. Don't waste the mumps.

Hey, Bart-dude.

Hey, Otto-man.

Yo, hairy bro.

Go home, boy! Go... home!

You! Wandering mongrel! Get out of my Mom and Pop operation!

Y'ello.

Simpson? This is Sylvia Winfield. That canine of yours is in my pool again. I'm calling the dog warden right now!

Oh, are you? Well, you go ahead and call your precious dog warden, you old battle-ax, because my dog is tied up in the backyard.

There's only one family on this block... no, on earth... inconsiderate enough to let a monster like that roam free.

Are you losing your hearing, or are you just stupid? I am going to explain this to you one more time, and then I am going to hang up on you. It is not my dog. I tied my dog outside myself. I am looking at him right --

Hey Lenny, I need to leave early. Cover for me, will ya?

Hey, sure thing, Homer.

Well, howdaly-do, Simpson? Gettin' a little exercise, eh? Good for you, pal. Oh, look at this old rascal! He's a wet old baby boy, isn't he? Isn't he? You're just a water monster.

Well, well. Mr. Universe takes a walk. Haw, haw!

Mr. Universe, I wish!

Look at that get-up. Heavy hands, ankle weights, that's cute, and ... Assassins!

Oh, you betcha! You know, they got velcro straps, a water pump in the tongue, built-in pedometer, reflective sidewalls and little vanity license plates.

Oooh! Oooh! How much? How much? How much?

Well, you know they're not givin' 'em away. But sometimes you've just got to spoil yourself.

Whoops, my heart rate's dropping. Better skedaddley-do.

Hmmm, huh. discoloration of the saliva glands,

Oh dear.

...swelling of the peritage.

I knew it.

Yeah, it looks like little Lisa has the mumps. I guess you'll be missing a week of school, young lady.

Oh, no. I don't want to fall behind my class.

Oh, such responsibility for such a little girl! What's your favorite subject?

Arithmetic.

Arithmetic! Now before you know it, you will be back among your polygons, your hypotenuse, and your Euclidean algorithms. Now, you get rest now and have yourself a wowwipop.

Y'ello, Hi, Lisa, what's wrong? The mumps? Oooh, the kissing disease! My little girl is growing up.

Yuck. Quit it, Dad.

So what does my little girl want? What? Let me write this down. Copies of "Teen Dream... Teen Scream... and Teen Steam Magazine." Well, okay. You're the sickie. Goodbye, Lisa.

Well, Lisa, here it is; the Bouvier family quilt.

Wow. Neat. It smells historic.

For five generations, women in our family have each added a square to it. Now it's your turn.

Oh, but I don't know how to sew.

Oh yes, you do. You just don't know it. The memory of a million drop-stitches flows in your veins.

Very impressive!

You try it.

You just need to develop a callous. See?

You see. Now that's a sewing finger, honey.

Oh man, two dollars. Uh, I'll take these three... They're for my daughter.

Sure they are.

Assassins!

Oh, a hundred and twenty-five bucks!

Sometimes you gotta spoil yourself... spoil yourself... spoil yourself.

But I can't afford to...

Simpson, I order you to buy those shoes!

Okay, Flanders, you're the boss. Heh, heh, heh.

This one's mine.

"Keep on truckin'"? What does that mean?

I didn't know then, and I don't know now.

Here's your stupid homework.

Ooh... phonics, functions, vocabulary, remedial reading? Oh, do your own homework, Bart!

Here's your magazines. How many of these guys are named Corey?

Eight. Thanks, Dad.

Whoa! Assassins!

Yep! Hee, hee. Read 'em and weep.

Those are very elaborate sneakers.