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rick-and-morty-script

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Rick:
Looks like scary Terry's having a nightmare.
Morty:
Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know scare Scary Terry.
Scary Terry:
Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch! Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants!
Scary Terry:
Oh, uh, um ... "Bitch.
Rick:
Yeah, this is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?
Rick:
You're putting too much pressure on yourself, scary Terry. You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is.
Morty:
Hey, yo, scary T., don't even trip about your pants dawg. Here's a pair on us, fool.
Scary Terry:
Aww, bitch. I don't know what to say.
Morty:
You don't need to say anything. We got you, dawg.
Rick:
You're our boy, dawg. Don't even trip.
Scary Terry:
Oh, hey, it's you guys!
Scary Terry:
If you guys ever need anything, just say the word.
Rick:
As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with.
Scary Terry:
I always hated that song!
Scary Terry:
These halves don't belong together, bitch!
Scary Terry:
Sex is sacred!
Scary Terry:
This is because you don't give Morty Smith good grades, bitch!
Mr. Goldenfold:
Holy crap! God damn! I know one thing for sure I'm giving Morty an "A" in math, and that's my idea. That is an original thought.
Morty:
What the hell?
Rick:
Out of the frying pan dot, dot, dot, huh, Morty?
Morty:
Oh, man, what's going on?
Rick:
Well, it's possible that your dog became self-aware and made modifications on the cognition amplifier, then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanity's cruel subjugation of his species, but your guess is as good as mine, Morty.
Jerry:
I can't believe how mean snuffles got just because he's smart.
Summer:
This is why I choose to get C's.
Rick:
Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer.
Morty:
- Dad! - Rick!
Rick:
If we hurry we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over.
Jerry:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere. This is my house. I'm not abandoning it.
Rick:
It's all over, Jerry. The dogs are on a path to total world domination. But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right?
Jerry:
Wait a minute. I have an idea. Gentlemen, a moment of your time. See that? I'm peeing all over your special guns. That means I own them.
Snuffles:
Bad person. Bad.
Rick:
Ooh, great plan, Jerry.
Snuffles:
Bring the boy to me. You were always kind to me, Morty. That's why I will leave you with your testicles. From now on, you will be my best friend and live by my side.
Morty: