Datasets:
jmaczan
/
rick-and-morty-script

Dataset card Data Studio Files Community
1
text
stringlengths
0
1.11k
Hey, take your pants off It’s schwifty time today
Principal Vagina:
Please be kind to us for we are but tiny things with entire bodies stuck to your ground.
Beth:
Now hold on a second, let’s be rational about this.
Beth:
No, I’m… I’m just saying, we don’t know if there’s a cause-effect relationship --
Beth:
Oh, God, what’s going on now?
President:
What the hell happened?
Rick:
I think planet Earth has just been transported.
Principal Vagina:
The head has left and sent its children!
Beth:
Holy CRAP!
Summer:
Oh dear giant head, we apologize for that discussion! It will never happen again!
Cromulon:
WE ASKED THEM TO SHOW US WHAT THEY GOT. AND THEY DID. NOW WE’LL SEE WHICH OF THEM HAS GOT THE MOST. 24 HOURS, FIVE PLANETS, FIVE SONGS. BUT IN THE END, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. PLANET MUSIC! All participation is involuntary. Disqualified and losing planets are disintegrated by plasma ray.
Rick:
Uhh, it’s probably a bad time to mention it, but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead.
Cromulon:
Welcome back to Planet Music! First up, let’s hear the latest song from planet Parblesnops. The Greebybobes! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
Cromulon:
DISQUALIFIED!
Cromulon:
There’s one every season. Moving on to planet Arbolez Meterosos. Arbolian Meterososians. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT.
Morty:
Like we’re not already under enough pressure!
Rick:
Geez, Morty. The guy’s just doing his job. Take it easy.
Morty:
Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?! We’ve got six hours to come up with a song!
Rick:
Genius happens in the moment, Morty.
Morty:
Well, can we at least go get our family? You know, so we can take them with-with-with us if we lose?
Rick:
That’s planning for failure, Morty. Even dumber than regular planning. Balls.
Rick:
Morty, Morty, stop! Listen! There’s only so much charge left in this thing. If we portal home from here and back, we’re not gonna have enough charge left to get off-world. Get it?
Morty:
What?!
Rick:
Yeah, you see, I try to shelter you from certain realities, Morty. Cause if I let you make me nervous, then we can’t get schwifty.
Morty:
Stop saying it like it’s a thing! You made it up!
Rick:
Hey, Morty! Could you lick my…
Morty:
Rick, cut it out! That’s not funny, Rick!
Nathan:
I’ve seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders.
President:
And what’s your plan, General?
Nathan:
We still have the nuclear option. On my word, we can launch a nuclear missile at every one of those heads in the sky.
President:
Our planet’s held captive on a live game show and your solution is to shoot the audience? You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, General. Until then, I’ll put mine in Rick and Morty. “Get Schwifty” was a jam.
Principal Vagina:
Hello? Yes sir, yeah. Thank you sir, thank you. He says he’s proud of what we’re doing and hopes we have a great Ascension Festival! Happy Ascension!
Beth:
We should pack up and leave town now.
Jerry:
I think it’s inspiring that our community is coping with fear in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream. If you’d stop being such an evangelical atheist, you might start enjoying yourself.