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rick-and-morty-script

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Summer:
The heads are displeased!
Rick:
Morty!
Mr. Goldenfold:
The heads love this! They love it when we DON’T kill the Smith family!
Principal Vagina:
No! Stop that! You’re not allowed to interpret the will of the heads!
President:
Call off the nuclear strike! This is the President. Stop the nuclear missile launch!
Nathan:
Just launch the missiles!
Cromulon:
BOO! NOT COOL!
Principal Vagina:
I’m the only one that speaks to the heads!
Cromulon:
DISQUALIFIED!
Mr. Goldenfold:
The heads disqualified Vagina! Get him!
Cromulon:
DISQUALIFIED! DISQUALIFIED!
Ice-T:
That’s right, it’s me, Ice-T! I care now! You made me care more! With all due respect, I’d like to hear what Rick and Morty have to play.
Morty:
What do you say, Rick?
Rick:
I say… Let’s do it!
Rick:
All right!
Morty:
Ohhhh yeahhhh!
Rick:
Come on, here we go!
Morty:
Ohhhh yeahhhh!
Rick:
Say it with me!
Principal Vagina:
Ohhh my GOOOOODDDD!!!
Cromulon:
After 988 seasons of Planet Music, the Cromulons have decided to declare Earth the final winner and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion. Goodbye!
Mr. Goldenfold:
Did he just say “musical reality show”?
Jerry:
Yeah, it’s possible that we may have been correlating some things that weren’t actually related at all.
Principal Vagina:
HEEEEELLLLPPPP!!!!!
Beth:
We should go get him.
President:
I hope I can call on you again if we need you, Morty.
Morty:
Sure thing! And I was kinda hoping that I could get a selfie with you?
President:
Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here, we’ll deny it and probably worse.
Morty:
Understood.
Nathan:
DIIIIEEEE!!!!
President:
Why didn’t he turn into a snake?
Rick:
Trade secret, Mr. President. Particle beam in a wristwatch… snake holster on the leg.
President:
I love this man!