text
stringlengths 114
320k
|
|---|
Its good to have goals . Especially for field editors . The newsy news letter field staff assignment is to tinkle in every casino on the strip to criticize and critique them . This assignment will take a lot of dedication . . . and water . Stay tuned for a tinkle by tinkle update . The first two are a tie . . . actually , there is no order at all to any of them <><><><><><> 1 . Little glow worm . . . <><><><> 2 . Little Cricket3 . Snow , even when it ruins perfectly good ice . 4 . And as always , we are very Thankful we 're not turkeys . . . Our house arrived in little pieces . . . okay not little , but in pieces . It took all day to unload the semi trailer and count the pieces . There are four pieces in this picture , each piece has a number ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 ) . And unlike reading , they go up from right to left , or at least it did for us , it all depends on which side of the wall you work from , we chose the inside so everything would go completly backwards for us . <><><><> <><><> This is our house the next afternoon ( which will be one year ago tomorrow ) . We had to stop at some detours our delightful designer planned for us . . . or rather , didn 't plan at all about . <><><> And so , as we sat around today on our 1 year aniversity , in our warm basement , we thought we 'd see how far we 've come . . . <><><><><><> The tailer trash have moved up in the world and now live in a nice little tar paper shack . Although we 're inclined to believe this picture doesn 't do our mothers shack justice , we leave it up to our friends to find out for themselves . Our doors are always open ( while we 're home at least ) , and on a good day its 66 degrees upstairs . And to our friends who already know . . . the grins and giggles are on the house . Thats right . We 're already gone . There is no possible way we have time to put up another post after we 've already gone . So don 't expect it , we 're already gone and there is no need to check this blog right now . Nothing has changed , and nothing is going to change , your stuck with that last uninspiring post . . . which , if we do say so ourselves , is much better than the other uninspired posts that did not get posted . That would probably reasure both of our readers if we had had the time to post before we left . But as we 've so eliquently said before in this unwritten blog , we 're already gone , the dust has already settled , the coffee is cold in the cups . But don 't worry your poor little heart out , you 'll be able to find us where ever we are . We 're making a trail south east where the silly sister 's will have to go there separate ways , one shall remain at the derby ( to see who " also ran . . . " ) , the other will treck onward to wide open spaces . Until then , this is the newsy staff , already gone And no , nothing better ( that words can express ) has come of our time than this . We once said , " when inspiration hits , it always leaves a mark " . Well , we 've discovered something since then . Inspiration isn 't the only thing that leaves a mark , and the marks don 't always bring inspiration with it . Like hammers for instance , they leave some very attractive and highly painful marks , but lack the benefit of inspiration . Tractors also leave highly painful and enviable welts , but the inspiration acquired resembles the stupidity that rendered the welted unconscious . Cement leaves a mark ( it 's a knuckle buster business ) , and filled with so many grunts and groans as leaves room for little else to inspire . Staplers are perhaps the most painful and leave the least rewarding mark … just a few weeks ago the favorite father discovered he should not hold an item in need of stapling when a child , that may be a little upset with him , is whacking away with a stapler . We laugh about it now , but that particular hit was so uninspiring it didn 't even make it into the letter , in - spite of the mark it left . Scaffolds leave a mark ( on shins of all things just by climbing up ) , and the climbing claims so much attention , there isn 't even time to greet each and every bruise as it appears . All these things have left their marks , but it is unfortunate and perhaps natural , that all the joy is taken out of any inspiration we may have felt on the occasion . Perhaps the real reason we feel no inspiration is because usually all intelligent inspiration gets rattled right out of our brains in the process of it leaving its mark . Until it hits again , Sincerely , The newsy news letter staff While the favorite parents were off gallivanting and supposidly buying this questionable looking fish house <><><><><><><><><> The silly sister 's were building this nice little cement slab to put it on <><><><><><> <><><><><> Yeah right ! How is anyone supposed to know , without witnesses , that two very silly sister 's mixed and poured a 4 by 8 cement slab ? <><><> <><><><> Oh We have yet to give a newsy name to the newest newsy fan . <><><> Clearly he 's a little concerend about it . In this picture , he had just learned that " Squeaky " was a name in the running . Also another sneaky picture of the inside of the house . . . no , nothing has change lately . Except for the baby of course . . . oh , and the silly sister 's arent 't standing there anymore either . and this ones for little glow . <><><> The silly sisters were playing dress up with the little glow worm here . She 's going to be in a wedding this fall and had developed a bad case of anti - dressiness . The silly sister 's helped the oldest child in the only way they knew how ; by dressing in their own scratchy dresses and flouncing around all high and mighty . This of course made little glow quite eager to join them and she proudly put on her own little dress and flounced about with every bit of vanity that the silly sister 's had displayed . We 're all very proud of her . When she says " Apple " , she really means , " helper " as in , she 's a " happle " When she runs to the bathroom to go potty , she does in fact know what she 's going there to do , thats why she insists on shutting the door after pushing whoever was following her out . She developed a very good learning system where instead of learning two names for two people she 'd just apply the same name to as many people as possible . Thats why all older men are " Bumpa " . She used to be able to say the middle childs name quite clearly , and naturally she used it for the youngest child as well . Until one day the youngest child taught her how to say " ll 's " very well and ever since then , both the middle child and the youngest child are refered to ( by the little glow worm ) by the youngest childs name . Little glow likes tractors . She likes to tell stories about tractors , " Bumpa ! brumbrumbrum . " and with that she makes a scoop with her hand to pick up imaginary dirt and she moves her hand over to an imaginary pile and drops the imaginary dirt making the imginary pile higher . She thinks she can turn on the dinning room light just by rubbing her fingers together , this is the favorite brothers fault ( he 's an electician you know ) . She was even convinced that her kiss to someone elses fingers would transfere the lighting power . She grew up in one night , while her mother was trying to put her to bed , little glow pointed to the door and said , " out " and she fell asleep on her own while her poor mother sat in a chair in the living room and wondered how it had happened so fast . She wants everything , " Me . ( pointing at her little chest ) That ! ( pointing at whatever it is she desparatly wants ) " " Peas " . could mean anything from " cheese " to " please " . she calls real peas , " balls " . There is a scene in the new Pink Panther where the guy is learning to speak flawless english , every word he repeats has no simalarity to the original word until finnally at the end , all his english words sound the same . Well thats what teaching little glow worm new words is like , she does okay with Posted by We were allowed to take a few hours detour to see the cutest little butten we 've ever had for a nephew . We took the liberty of taking a picture for the blog , we hope this will satisfy all our veiwers . <><><><><> >>>>>>>>>> Oh , we can 't help ourselves . Little Lawrence David Oberg was named for his two grandpas . His timing made the difference between two very long weeks or one very long day . We , the newsy news staff , are at the MN State Fair serving a two week self imposed ( in an involentary sort of ways ) sentence . Please , everyone , stop by the Grand Stand and relieve our suffering . . . or we 're bound to complain here . . . We have another Monday 's child ! ! ! ! Our latest edition , 2007 model baby has finally arrived at 5pm today , 2 weeks early , 6lbs 4oz . heavy , 19in . long , 6in . wide , 0 teeth , black hair , 8 fingers , 2 thumbs , 10 toes , and remains nameless as of 5 : 30 . But he 's already a lucky little guy , he was the 10 , 000 hit on our sight counter ! He gets 1000 newsy points to spend at any newsy store as soon as he 's old enough to count that high . When we asked the favorite brother if he was cute , the answer was , with great confidence , " oh yeah . " We did manage to get a photo , not of the baby , we haven 't seen him yet , but its of a onesy he 'll wear someday . We thought everyone would like to see this first picture . . . <><><><> <><><><> " Let 's hear it for the boy " Newsy news is now selling advertisement space on this blog . Eat at The Pizza Mill . We reserve the right to write and , or , rewrite any and all advertisements we post . we also reserve the right to not post advertisments we have had to rewrite . Any advertisments we have not writen will not appear on this blog , any advertisment that has not been prepaid will not appear on this blog , any advertisment that lacks a humoris eliment will not appear on this blog , any advertisment we have had to write will not appear on this blog , any advertisment that we don 't like will not appear on this blog . . . No , this post isn 't about the heroic one eyed wonder . . . its about his master , the favorite brother - in - law , who arrived on a great black bus somewhere in the twin cities last Newsyday at noon . If we had the eliquence , we would tell everyone how his darling wife was there to run into his arms the moment he set eyes on her . We would tell everyone how , with him wearing his nice crisp uniform , and her wearing an eligant yellow dress they looked so much like a fifities war movie that the local news camera crew couldn 't stop taking footage of their . . . ah , church kiss . We would tell everyone how his child looked on in wide eyed wonder over a stranger stealing kisses from her mother . We would tell everyone how his perfect little glow worm took to him right away and began telling him tall tales about the one eyed mutts wild adventures , which went something like , " Deeciee ! NO ! NO ! No ! No ! No ! . . . eeeh eee eee eee . " If we could , we would have just posted the picture of their reunion . . . . but thats not possible at this time . Later perhaps . . . Those aren 't butterfly wings . We lost some facea to the tornado . And that one tree , by that one cabin , at that one corner . Oh , and that other tree by that other cabin near that one bay . Oh , and a few trees on the pointFrankly , we didn 't realize it was a tornado until little glow worms enertube went sailing by both of the bay windows . Luckily , neither of the sheetrockers were sucked out the windows , though they claim it was rather percarious by the windows on the third floor . We did not eat first breakfast at 5 : 55 . We did not go for a sunrise kayak ride at 6am . We did not eat second breakfast at 6 : 33 . We did not walk the dog . We did not eat a third breakfast . We may have given a tour of the house . We did not show off the hammers and staplers . We did eat hot dogs by a campfire … sponsored by the angles on the favorite parents new house . We did not mow lawn . We did not play croquet . We did not play disc golf . We did not get lost in the forest . We did not eat the one eyed mutt . But we did hang the favorite mothers cabinets . . . and the newsy news birthday / cattail party had the best turnout yet ! As usual , in honor of our cute little company 's birthday , we will be celebrating in style at the 4th annual cattail party . We have a full list of newsy party activities planned … guaranteed to leave even the heartiest of partiers completely exhausted by the end of the longest day of the year . For , though we don 't have any cabins lined up to clean this year , we do have grass growing up to our knees ( not quite as bad as last week … but we have tried ) … and there 's nothing more partyish than mowing all the lawn in the shape of a croquet field ( much to our favorite parents embarrassment ) . Unfortunately , due to the new high rises going up all over and in consequence of the civilization , power lines , our disc golf game will have to be played while running wild through the forests , its only one hole : Par - 103 … be careful of the sand pit and the two ponds , mamas pond and lost pond … that is if anyone is unfortunate enough to find the second one … . if you do happen to find the seconded one , chances are pretty good you 're lost … at that point you 'll just want to take the stroke and forget the disc golf . Take a solid right at that unfortunate lost pond … you may not think it 's a pond , but if your feet start to get wet , you 've found the lost pond , and you 're lost . But if you take a right , that will lead you to … well we don 't rightly know , the silly sister 's just kind of bowl their way through when they hit the lost pond . If it happens to be cloudy , you might as well just sit down and cry , of course , as this will be a newsy party , just do what ever it is the silly sister 's are doing … chances are though , if its cloudy , they 'll be sitting down and crying … . well maybe not right away , but when it starts to get dark they will be … Anyway , where were we ? Oh , yes the newsy news cattail party ! Everyone 's invited … we have a full agenda planned and an empty guest list . It seems our reputation proceeds us and last years party was the bomb … or whatever . But its a little disheartening to us that the favoritPosted by Last weeks newsyday was a pretty exciting day . Not only did we have the rather high excitment of 3 loaded cement trucks coming 45 minutes apart , we also had the great joy of rushing around trying to build forms in case we had some left over . <><><><<><><> In the picture above , the youngest child is demonstrating how to hold a drill with her right hand while expertly holding a screw in her left . . . something everyone should practice doing . <>>> " Hurry ! Hurry ! They 're coming ! ! ! They ' RE COMING ! ! ! ! AHHHHHHH . " <><><><>><><> <><> Oops , wrong picture , but thats little glow smiling happily ! <><><> <><> Thats right , they came . Heres one more picture , and if you look closley you can see the inside of the house . We had a bachelorett party on Tuesyday for our favorite newest June bride <><><><><><><><><><><><> Enough girls for some real good cackeling . We also hired some entertainment for the party . Perhaps if that had been common knowledge before hand , more cackelers would have come . <><><><><><><><><><><><><><> The middle child was less impressed than the goofy giggle grinned youngest child , who was at least good enough to cover the glow worms eyes . . . sort of . We don 't know if the June bride was impressed or not , she still hasn 't removed her hands from her eyes . <><><> Oh , she must have peaked at the wrong moment . lesson learned . >>>>>>>>> We 're actually just kidding in the pictures , our hired entertainers left 2 hours before the party began , and they were singers . . . We would like to extend our humblest apologies to the little town we gallivant in for the shortage of 4x12 sheetrock we may have caused at Lowes . We were very much in need of an expeditious shipment and thought not of how much we may be putting out our favorite gallivanting town . We have now had time to consider our actions as a little hasty in taking all the product , but we are slightly consoled by the idea that anyone who is really in need of sheetrock may use 4x8 instead , since we didn 't take any of those . If this proves to be too much of an inconvenience to anyone , feel free to stop by the happy place for a sheet or two , we could possibly spare one at the Lowes price . Each pile is about 5ft high Pirate movieFirst and foremost we 'd like to state that we were heartily dismayed over the ending . And of course we waited for the after credits stuff . The state of our melancholy was so intense after we left the theater , we didn 't even notice that we waited over half an hour at Lowe 's for someone to take our sheet rock out of the van when we were fully capable of doing it ourselves in half the time … or at least 2 / 3 of the time … or possibly 9 / 10 of the time … well at least we wouldn 't have been staring into the abyss for the half hour ; it could have served to keep our blubbering brains busy for at least 45 minutes … but we get lazy when our poor sentimental hearts are all aflutter . Our poor little tender minds still can 't bare to think about the … but we don 't want to ruin it for anyone … perhaps if we had been prepared for disappointment we wouldn 't have been so disappointed . At least they were … first . Which is highly un - Hollywood like . But really , the ending is too Superman / Starwars / ish … with the wonderful exception that they were . . . and publicly … kind of . . . how about an original ending for a change though … or something more predictable ? Wouldn 't that have been nice ? He didn 't have to … and what a twit ! The only theme carried through all three movies is Miss Swan this , and Miss Swan that … other than that we couldn 't follow the … but what girl could when Orlando Bloom is actually acting and not just being pretty ? … perhaps it wasn 't so bad … we still think Will should have … yes indeed he should have . don 't even get us started on Jack . . . Oh look at the time ! There comes a time , in every spring , when the silly sister 's stop to evaluate what is important in their lives . They work quietly by themselves and carefully way the pros and cons of the greatest decision of every spring . Diligently they reflect on the happy winter that has passed , and wonder once more if it is really over and safe to act on their reflections . And then , the moment arrives , it 's too hot to postpone the inevitable … the decision is made … and two hours later , they can wear shorts again . A is for another Albatross accidentB is for baby Bambi being bittenC is for crazy cousins campingD is for drowning dusty donutsE is for EffluviumF is for favorite flattery foodG is for going gallivanting ! Good gravyH is for happy humble hermit homesI is for ignorant ink igloosJ is for joining jobs just jokingK is for kindly kidding kidsL is for lousy losing lynxM is for my most memorable memory moments ! N is for nosy newsy newsO is for only out of orderP is for pretty pink ponies playingQ is for quiet quaint quarterbacksR is for romantic rivers rhymingS is for silly sister 's sadly saying something stupidT is for tis totally tuesyday tonightU if for unfortunately unwillingly unable … understand ? V is for Villain voter ! Victory vanity ! ! W is for water warthogs wailing wildlyX is for Xerxes XylophoneY is for yucky young yaksZ is for zesty zilch zigzags <><><><><><><><><><><> This years super modest swimsuit is featured on Newsy 's newest model , Little Glow . Her taste in fashion is remarkably similar to the silly sister 's . . . But at least she 'll grow into the shoes . . . Have we mentioned we 're glad she 's back for us to play with ? This is the one and only picture of the inside of the house that we will be putting on the blog . It was taken around 7 : 45am which should account for the bags under the eyes . . . and the glazed look . <><><><><><><> <><><><><><><> Anyone wishing to see what the rest of the inside of the house looks like should feel free to stop by … and ah , bring a hammer . We start at 8 . If people really believe the evilotion theory , then it should only be a matter of time before the zoo has a human exhibit . We 're almost positive the reconstruction at the Gladys Porter Zoo is just for that purpose . They 've probably even set traps out some where in the wilds of Chicago for a couple of wild humans they can tame and cage . But really , we have a better idea . We think that if they just called for a couple of volunteers , they 'd have greater success than trapping wild ones . Benifits include , A nice room in a gated comunity , Cleaned dailyThree meals a dayFresh airInstant fame ( The object of every tourist 's photo shoot ) Possiblility for advancment ( hey , if the elephant can transfer to Wisconsin , a human could transfer to Hawaii ) Where do we sign ? Today , if people show up for our formal pity party , we 'll put on our formals ( didn 't see that coming ) and go sledding ( a real surprise ) in our long - johns ( always a catch in there ) . Then we 'll snack on chocolates that will serve as " upper 's " while we watch Seven Brides for Seven Brother 's and sob our pretty little eyes out . After that , we 'll crack open the fake bubbly left over from our New Years Party ( one of our parties that lacked invitations ) and toast our little hearts out to all our woes and misadventures . If no one happens to show up to our little formal pity party ( which is a very real possibility since we didn 't in fact invite anyone ) , we 'll put on our PJ 's , crawl back into bed and watch the 6 + hours of Anne Of Green Gables while we toast our good friend the Italian Angel … if you know what we mean … lets just say the oldest child has been looking forward to toasting our Italian Angel for a very long month . She 's hoping our pity party will be very pitiful and therefore all the better as a pity party . Happy S . A . D ! ! ! " Given someone the wrong directions to the bathroom just for fun ? " From : " Questions we 're glad no one ever asks us " Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . . . . ha . . . . . ha . . . . . . . ha . . . . . ha . . . . . . . . . . . h . . . . a . . . . hmmm . Sorry . It was no one we know . It was a joke . . . he didn 't even buy a wallet . . . Come on ! ! ! What else was there to do ? We were bored . . . Hey ! He asked ! Its not like we were just telling anyone at random . Humor , its a difficult concept . We 've been Tagged by Mr . Freeze , and since we like a good game of tag , here it goes . A - Available or taken ? Good question , but we aren 't authorized to speak for each other . B - Best friend ( s ) ? Indeed , we are . C - Cake or pie ? Stupid question , they 're both sweet . D - Drink of choice ? Scotch and water without the scotch … or Rye Whiskey , duh … um , Milk ? E - Essential item you use every day ? Toilet and paper . F - Favorite color ? Blue and GrayG - Gummy bears or worms ? They 're both sweet . H - Hometown ? HereI - Indulgence ? Our blog spotJ - January or February ? Both have some good B - days in them , but we think Valentines day stinks or as we like to call it , Singles Awareness day , but we have had some pretty good pity parties . K - Kids and names ? Someday . Smith , Westin , Remington , Colt , Ruger , Walter PPK , Buck , Beretta , L - Life is incomplete without ? God . M - Marriage date ? Oh , we get it ! It 's a wedding invatation ! N - Number of siblings ? We each have 3 siblings , two sisters and a favorite brother . O - Oranges or apples ? Stupid question , nextP - Phobias or fears ? One of us is afraid of snakes , the other is afraid of windows close to the ground . Q - Favorite quote ? " Our pets heads are falling off ! ! ! " " Must be unlisted " " Indeed " " We may as well as not " " Take every opportunity to enjoy yourselves " and our favorite , " Pivot ! ! ! Pivot " very dangerous . R - Reason to smile ? We smile because you don 't know why we 're smiling , ha ha ha . S - Season ? Fall for hunting , winter for sledding and summer for swimming . Lets just cut spring out all together , its dirty . T - Tag three or four people . Mushroom , Blueberry , Lillypad . U - Unknown fact about me ? there 's two of us . V - Vegetable you don 't like ? EggplantW - Worst habit ? VaguenessX - X - rays ? teeth , and everyday by the sun … Y - Your favorite food ? SugarZ - Zany or Zealous ? we 'll leave it up to you to determine . We used to watch Miss America every year , and then we had the misfortune to go to Kentucky , and not just Kentucky , but Louisville Kentucky . And it was there that we received our formal education about real pageants . We went to a cattle show called the North American International Livestock Exposition . That 's the place to have a cow judged if you want to be anything in the cow world . The first time we watched the dairy cows get judged we felt a little disgusted . Not at how the cows are judged , but how closely it resembles a beauty pageant . The cows are primped and combed , clipped and blown , painted and hair sprayed . Someone even walks behind the cow with a paper towel to wipe its bottom whenever it has an attack of nature . Then someone ( usually an FFA kid ) parades the cow , along with a bunch of other cows , around in a circle while a judge walks around all the cows and judges them on their carriage , their disposition , their udders , how they walk with full udders , their legs , how straight their back is , their gait , awkwardness and other things . Then the judge picks the one cow that best displays the requirements of a good breeding cow and suddenly that cow 's babies are worth a lot of money . So we learned why cows are judged , and that it 's beneficial . But what does it benefit anyone that some girl is judged to be Miss America ? What has a Miss America ever done for us ? Certainly not world peace , for " there is no peace for the wicked " and there 's a lot of wicked people in this world . What does Miss America do for us ? Maybe we 're just ignorant , but we don 't know ; but we can tell you what a cow does for us , " Milk " " Steak " " Milk " " Steak " . And one more thing before we go … " Do you have any milk to go with that steak ? " <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<> The picture above was taken the very morning we left 3 weeks ago . The middle childs room is done , but you can see the walls are just stacked in the youngest childs room . We know its not newsy style to have people who are not on our staff in our pictures , but the two people in it are paid professionals , they just don 't work for newsy . <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> And this was what we came home to . See the little ladder going up to the roof top ? You may find this hard to believe but the middle child has actually expressed a dislike for shingling , and just so you 'll believe us we 'll quote her words exactly , " I 'm not going up there " . . . . ! ! ! Perhaps its just the ladder she dislikes . But we all know she doesn 't mean it , next year at this time she 'll be shoveling off that roof with the youngest child and they 'll be jumbing off it into the piles of snow . . . ah , life is good . <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> <><><><><><><><><><><><><> <><><> Well , maybe they won 't be jumping off this front side . . . . While in PA at their last show the silly sister 's went to a booth of fishing tackle . They mauled through the tables for a few reasons , one they wanted to see what eastern fish eat and two they wanted to see if tackle was cheaper in PA than MN . While looking through a very good variety of twisty tails ( in the right color for MN ) a man and his boy happened to be standing near by ( and in the way ) . Looking up from his deep concentration of tackle the man did a double look at seeing two girls surveying the fishing tackle ( obviously not a common occurrence in his state ) . Instantly sizing up the girly looking girls he said with too much confidence . " You don 't fish … do you ? " The middle child nodded without actually giving him the time of day and moved on completely unfazed by the stupidity of it all . However , the youngest child , highly offended by his audacity , said with great pride ( and a bright smile of course ) . " Yes " " You do ? " Came the shocked , and very annoying , reply . The youngest child was even more offended but tried to control herself as she answered with great sarcasm and a look of surprise . " Ahh ? … Yeah ! " Then she smiled happily and moved away feeling slightly guilty for being rude ( which , when read right , is exactly what she was ) . Do they fish ? The very nerve ! We tell ya ! Some people ! ! ! … not exactly the kind of guy who would bring a seat over for a girl who was standing through a hunting lecture . Oh , but then , there are those who do . One year since little glow worm arrived at the happy place . One year since the favorite brother - in - law made it home just in time to miss the drama of child birth . One year since the favorite mother said , " Its a girl " . One year since the best discription of little glow worm the silly sister 's could get was , " She has no chin " . One year since the silly sister 's waited in silance by the phone for 16 hours for news of baby glow . . . well , almost by the phone , as we recall , they did have a fire meeting they sat in silance at for at least 2 of those hours . One year since the favorite brother got mad that no one was answering their phones . One year since the favorite Air Force cousin shared a plane ride home with the favorite brother - in - law on a very involved flight . One year since the favorite father said , " Its been too long , we need to pray " and after " Amen " the phone rang . One year , its not so long ago , and another year isn 't so far away . We here at the newsy news office never realized exactly how one year could change a person until we watched that mere mewling infant with a little chin , who had nighmares of baths , become a jibber jabbering , heart twisting , fearless , social , wide eyed , always learning , into everything , adorable little imp . Indeed , how much we 've changed . Happy Birthday Little Glow !
|
With Christmas just around the corner and keeping busy with my mosaic business I haven 't been taking the time to do any routine exercise except walking and it has really made a difference in how I feel . I wake up earlier because of pain . Everything I do from light gardening to washing the car becomes a problem so I am once again reminded that sticking to a regular exercise plan is crucial for people who suffer from CFS or fibromyalgia . Regular light and easy exercise is key to staying as fit as possible with fibromyalgia in my opinion . All I do each day ( when I 'm on track ) is a few neck and lower back exercises that take about 10 minutes . If I am really on a role I add in some all over stretching and a bit of small weight lifting . But believe me , I have learned the hard way that you must go slowly and add each of these in gradually or you will set yourself up for failure . Pramipexole is used alone or with other medications to treat the symptoms of Parkinson 's disease ( PD ; a disorder of the nervous system that causes difficulties with movement , muscle control , and balance ) , including shaking of parts of the body , stiffness , slowed movements , and problems with balance . Pramipexole is also used to treat restless legs syndrome ( RLS ; a condition that causes discomfort in the legs and a strong urge to move the legs , especially at night and when sitting or lying down ) . Pramipexole is in a class of medications called dopamine agonists . It works by acting in place of dopamine , a natural substance in the brain that is needed to control movement . Nearly half of patients who took mirapex reported 42 - percent less pain compared to only 14 - percent of those on placebo . Overall , 82 percent of patients on mirapex had some improvement in pain . Andrew Holman , M . D . " This is the medicine that may provide a completely new way of approaching fibromyalgia . " Side effects from mirapex are mild and include nausea and weight loss . Mirapex was designed to stimulate dopamine receptor production in Parkinson 's patients . Researchers discovered it could help fibromyaliga patients by accident . I can generally call in my prescription 3 days in advance and have no problem getting it refilled . Not so this time . I called on the 27th to my doctor as my refill was out and I needed to make sure I wouldn 't have any problems . The nurse called over to our pharmacy and ordered the prescription . When my husband went to pick it up he was told that this was a " watched drug " and that it cannot be refilled until the exact day it was due and that I would have to wait the 4 days . So now I wonder ; is there a new mandate about certain controlled drugs or was this pharmacist on a power trip ? Either way I am the one who suffers . I had to go 3 days without any medication at all . I can 't take Advil , aspirin or Tylenol as I break out in hives . My doctor did call over for another pain reliever ( Darvacet ) for the interim time but it has never worked for me so the pain just escalated . I couldn 't sleep as my arms and hands were throbbing with pain . I would try to get comfortable in bed but found myself getting back up and trying to figure out what to do . This must have happened at least 5 times as I was so tired . It 's a very scary thing to realize how dependent you are on drugs to get you through a normal day . It is also quite sad to realize that your life as you once knew it is forever gone . You will never be normal and function as others do . You will forever be subjected to the doctors whim as to whether they will continue your medication . Fortunately I have a great doctor who was the first one that realized I have fibromyalgia and works closely with me on medications . To think just 3 short years ago I painted our entire Townhouse from top to bottom by myself and didn 't have any problems . The fibromyalgia hit me one day and my life is altogether different . It just seemed to come upon me suddenly and never left . Some days I get up and I think , " gosh , I feel so good today " that I don 't even think about taking any pain pills for a few hours . Usually I head for them before the coffee even finishes brewing . Lately I have been doing a great deal of cleaning and painting and I am surprised I can still function pretty well . My husband and I bought a house last month . We knew we wanted to downsize from the place we are living in now and figured the market couldn 't get much better for buying one . Unfortunately because the market is so sluggish and the price of houses are at an all time low we felt we had to continue living in our current home and rent out the one we just purchased . The house we bought was in need of some serious TLC so we have been painting every room and scrubbing all the tile , doors , windows , and cabinets . It 's taken an entire bottle of 409 already and we aren 't even finished . Lots of work . But amazingly , I am still in fairly good condition . I did take off from going over there today because it has started to catch up with me and I was tired and sore most of the day , but I plan to be back at it tomorrow . I think having something different to do makes a bit of a difference in how you feel . If I was just doing all that cleaning in my own home I might not feel as chipper , but knowing this needs to get done so that we can get it up for rent puts a different spin on it . Besides , it was fun to think about what I might do with the rooms when we do move in . All in all , things are pretty good these days . I think the longer nights help me to sleep in better as it stays dark until around 7 : 30 in the morning . If nothing else it helps with a better attitude in starting my day . Getting 8 hours of sleep compared to my usual 6 is a huge difference . Until next time : ) When my allergies are at an all time high it literally wakes me up in the middle of the night because my throat , nose and eyes are so dry that I can 't sleep . I get out of bed and immediately put Visine in my eyes , saline in my nose and grab a drink of water . This is happening even with a humidifier in my room . I am sure this interrupted sleep isn 't helping me feel very alert the next day , but I don 't have to have this kind of thing happen to still experience a the wave of sleepiness come over me from time to time . Well , let me tell you , it wasn 't easy . First of all the show was a complete bust , not only for me , but all the crafters as there were few shoppers throughout the 2 days . We were lucky if 1 , 000 people passed through . Second , I was so bored and so fidgety sitting for such long periods of time that I thought I might lose my mind . I walked around and looked at all the crafts and talked with various people . I took short walks around outside , but the temp was in the 90 's and very humid so that didn 't last long . I even went so far as to go to the car and take a short nap to relieve the boredom as my husband manned the booth . By the time the day was finally over I could barely walk I was so stiff from inactivity . For me the worst is sitting or standing for long periods of time . Ask me to walk anywhere and I 'm good to go . It 's funny how this illness affects each of us . My sister - in - law can sit for hours on end but can barely walk anywhere . My fibromyalgia seems to worsen when I sit for too long or on a hard surface . I also have a bit of a problem with just standing around . Now , ask me to walk a mile and I 'm with you , but no sitting . This season with all the summer storms has truly been a difficult one for me . I don 't know if it 's something in the air or the pressure changing but I find myself looking for a place to lie down at least a two , if not three , times a day . I can barely function when I get like this and it is so darn frustrating . I , on the other hand , continue to have some odd pain that keeps changing locations depending on what shoes I wear or how much I have walked , etc . One day the pain is in my ankle and another day it 's on the underside of my toes . I am pretty sure that the shoes I wore to the grocery store may have had something to do with it . The bad news is that it still bothers me and swells a bit and I can feel the pain and fatigue all the way up my leg . I sure hope this goes away with time . I am convinced the only reason I still feel any pain at all is because of the fibromyalgia as the areas of pain fluctuate . As we all know , fibromyalgia enhances pain and I do believe someone who does not have this illness would more than likely not feel anything in their foot like I do . It comes and goes and changes from the top of my foot to my big toe so I believe it depends on what muscles and tendons get used more that day . Just like swimming , you have to be careful how much you do at one time I have been swimming in the evenings with my husband and spending about 15 to 20 minutes stroking through the water hoping to build back some strength in my legs after the fracture on my foot kept me from walking . The first few times went very well and I thought I was on a roll . Wrong ! Rather than being caused by tissue inflammation , the pain of fibromyalgia seems to be brought on by an extremely low pain threshold . Patients have an increased sensitivity to numerous sensory stimuli that are not normally perceived as painful to others . Emotional stress , noise , and changes in the weather aggravate the condition . Anyway , it was great to get out a bit and use muscles that haven 't been used much lately and try to use up some of this restless energy I have . I know when I get this way my mind can 't seem to focus on anything so nothing really gets accomplished that day . I have had the same mosaic sitting in front of me for about 3 days now because I can 't make up my mind what I want to do for the background . I sure hope this helps because I don 't know what I will do if I can 't make mosaics . I have a sinking feeling the powder is getting to me . This is something that I remember learning about having fibromyalgia ; a heightened sense of smell as well as higher sensitivities to airborne particles . All the nasal sprays I have been using arent ' helping at this point . I am beginning to get a small picture of what Job must have felt . lol However , my foot seems to finally be on the mend . I quit stretching it and just let it be the last several days and it seems so much better . OMG , I cannot believe how much better I am feeling now that I have my sinus infection under control . I get up and actually have interest and energy to do something . Hurray ! I still can 't walk . I can get from point A to point B , but actually walking for exercise is not happening . Honestly , who would think this foot thing would still be a problem all these months later . Anyway , I am swimming now just to keep the body from getting too stiff , bringing on fibromyalgia problems . I use one of those " noodles " to hang on to and kick my legs back and forth not only to keep the circulation going , but hopefully to loosen whatever it is that keeps my ankle stiff and making it hard to walk . I tried just swimming around the pool without any floaty but the days following were killer on my back and shoulders as it was just too much for me all at once . Gotta go slow which is a hard thing to do in the pool as you can 't really feel what you are doing to yourself . On top of that I seriously burned my wrist with my steamer . How you say ? Well , it 's really a clothes steamer that I use to put some steam into the air for my sinuses . I turned it on and added some scents and then went to reach for something just when it decided to steam and spew out boiling hot water . UGH , I shouldn 't be let out alone anymore . LOL Cystic fibrosis is a life - threatening disorder that causes severe lung damage and nutritional deficiencies . An inherited condition , cystic fibrosis affects the cells that produce mucus , sweat and digestive juices . Normally , these secretions are thin and slippery , but in cystic fibrosis , a defective gene causes the secretions to become thick and sticky . Instead of acting as a lubricant , the secretions plug up tubes , ducts and passageways , especially in the pancreas and lungs . Cystic fibrosis happens most often in white people of northern European ancestry , occurring in about 1 out of 3 , 000 live births . In the past , most people with cystic fibrosis died in their teens . Improved screening and treatments now allow many people with cystic fibrosis to live into their 50s or even longer Most of the time I can deal with the pain that I get from having fibromyalgia . I don 't like it . It has certainly affected how I live my life , but I am beginning to get a handle on what will make it worse . Or so I thought . My doctor told me that the tendons may need to be stretched after wearing the boot for 3 weeks , but even he thought there was no way I could have that much of a problem in such a short amount of time . Now I am wondering if the fibromyalgia is causing this horrific pain . I don 't say that lightly either as I have worked every day on stretching out the tendons on the top of my foot as well as the one running up the back of my knee . I used to be able to sit on my legs and now I can 't as the pain sears through me . The pain is so intense that if I work on my foot for too long I actually get physically sick . I have had lots of pain in my life , but nothing that compares to this and no matter how much I work at it I still can 't walk . It feels like the tendon is so tight that it 's going to snap in half . I believe that there is a very good chance that the pain is increased considerably because of fibromyalgia . There is no other explanation for it that I can see . Who has this much pain from wearing a " boot " for 3 weeks ? I hope to find out when I see my doctor on Tuesday . I used to swim everyday when we first moved here 7 years ago and loved it . I still do love it , but my body screams the next few days . It is amazing that a little paddling around can cause such a problem now for my body . I used to do an entire workout routine and hardly feel anything . I know , we all used to do so much more , huh ? I suppose if you were to swim every single day and gradually build up to a routine that your muscles wouldn 't complain as much . It 's kinda scary to think that something so minimal can cause such grief . Even my pain pills can 't eliminate all of it . I have another blog called Chris ' Comments that I post about my mosaic business as well as a variety of other topics . Anyway , I had just completed a very long post about tips for people who are new to cruising and when I went to my blog this morning it wasn 't there . The reason it wasn 't there was because it was on this blog instead . How scary is that ? I accidentally published under the wrong blog . For those of you who have more than one blog with Blogger , you know that they come up together on the dashboard so I obviously hit the wrong one . Honestly sometimes I 'm afraid to even go out of my house . LOL I was in my Dr 's office the other day to do a follow - up on a dexascan and she told me that Tramadol is now noted for causing depression . Just great . Truthfully , I am not worried about that as I have been on it for nearly 3 years and do not see any connection at all . Of course my body generally acts oppositely to drugs so maybe that 's the reason . By the way , have any of you had a dexascan ? I had one due to the fractures in my foot but was a little scared it was going to come back that my bones had turned into crackers and were falling apart rapidly as it seemed I kept getting more fractures . Turns out I am borderline from normal to osteopenia which is the first stage of osteoporosis . I am pretty sure the reason for that result is because I was vitamin D deficient at my last physical which means the calcium I was taking wasn 't working either so I am hopeful that my bones will get stronger now that I have boosted the vitamins . I am still dealing with the after affects of this darned fractured foot and have been more than a little frustrated lately so where can I go to complain ? I mean it . I wish there was some place a person could go just to complain about life once in a while . I now have to stretch my tendons on the top of my feet back to normal as the few weeks of not using them has caused them to shrink . Very weird , but OMG , the pain is worse than the the fracture . I have to literally push my weight onto my right foot and just stretch it back out and it is excruciating , but I don 't want to hobble anymore as I desperately need to get back to the business of walking again . I have gained 8 lbs in the last 3 months from not walking so I really recognize how beneficial it is to maintaining my weight . Nothing fits and I feel bloated and awful . I do keep up the stretching exercises every other day though or I would completely lose my mind . This hasn 't been a picnic with my fibromyalgia either . I have been getting an adjustment at my chiropractors and a massage every week just to keep my body aligned . The boot ads inches to your height on one side and it 's hell ( sorry , no other word for it ) on the body . I am just grateful I can get a massage for 30 bucks , but even at that price I can 't be going forever . For some , it 's a feeling of hopelessness and despair that can 't be defined by a specific situation . They know the normal activities that used to give them joy no longer holds any interest for them and much of the time they would rather just sleep . I would suppose this type of depression might be caused by ongoing problems or feelings that haven 't been resolved . I know for me much of my depression comes from not being in control of things and people that affect my life . If my kids do something really foolish , there is really little I can do but stand on the sidelines as they are all adults and have to make their own way in the world . You can offer advise or opinions but it 's really up to them whether they choose to heed it . It can be heartbreaking to watch and if it happens often enough you can spiral downward . It feels like being trapped . For others it could be a relative that insinuates themselves in your life and makes you miserable . Sometimes it has to do with how well things are going at work . These are all factors that you may have little control over and it can get downright frustrating and lead to depression . Many of us who have a chronic illness that affects our daily lives can find ourselves depressed from time to time . It can be the illness itself that keeps us from doing what we would like to do or it could be the constant lack of understanding of family and friends , or a combination of both . I know that there are times when I get down if I think about having fibromyalgia on a large scale . You know , when you realize this is how it 's going to be for the rest of your life and you have to learn to adjust constantly . I read . Lots . This is my way of dealing with whatever comes my way . Currently I am reading a book written by Max Lucado called " Fearless , What Your Life Would Be Like Without Fear " and it has helped me tremendously . My faith is the most important part of my life and sometimes when I get down I forget their is someone greater than me that is always there . Today is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day , a day that we recognize fibromyalgia as an actual illness and help to make the public not only more aware of it but also to a better understanding of what sufferers experience . It is very difficult and many times lonely living with this disease because it isn 't something that can be seen so others don 't always understand . Many sufferers won 't complain about pain because they don 't want to be labeled a whiner . Believe me I do know how that feels but sometimes we just need to speak up and better educate those around us . My sister , who lives in a different state than I do , has often brought up the fact that I don 't work outside the home . She mentions that if I just had a job that I wouldn 't have all this time to think about my problems . I can 't tell you how difficult it is at times not to get very defensive and angry with her because she has absolutely no idea what fibromyaligia is . That is part of the problem ; most people don 't really know what in the heck fibromyalgia is because no two patients suffer the same degree of pain so it 's hard to pin down exactly what it is . Telling someone that you just have pain or ache doesn 't seem to satisfy them so explaining how your brain neurotransmitters confuse the signals regarding pain may make them roll their eyes at you . I can just here my sister saying " So , you mean you don 't really have the pain , so what 's the problem ? " Ugh ! I think the key is having a supportive friend or group that you can go to that will understand exactly how you feel . I have a sister - in - law who has fibro so we " get " each other and it really helps when we go out together . Some of you know that I fractured my right foot about 8 weeks ago and finally got to a point where I could actually walk around my neighborhood again . I have no idea how it happened but I managed to fracture the side of my little toe on the same foot and just had it x - rayed yesterday as confirmation . Well , my doctor thought it looked like a stress fracture from the change in my walk from the original problem so he decided I needed a " boot " . OMG , this thing looks like what you might wear if you were going to go skiing or something . It has 5 different Velcro straps to keep it tight on your foot and half way up your leg . All this for a fractured toe ? On top of this lovely little fashion boot is the price you pay for it . Now , I am not sure if my insurance is going to pick up the tab of $ 160 . 00 or not . They weren 't sure either so they charged me 25 % just in case . I can think of several pairs of shoes I could buy for that . They strapped me in this thing before I left the office so I had to hobble on it to get to my car where I had to take it off anyway as there is no way that can be safe to drive with . I get home and put it back on and within half an hour I can feel my neck and right shoulder giving me fits with the uneven posture and gait you get wearing this thing . So , my choice is this : Do I wear the boot and hope it helps to heal my toe more quickly and just spend the extra money at the chiropractor 's office to keep realigning my shoulder or do I just wear my slippers around the house like I 've been doing and save the boot for long distance journeys ? Honestly , when you have fibromyalgia absolutely anything and everything out of the ordinary can upset the balance and cause you pain but most doctors don 't recognize this or take it into consideration when prescribing . My doctor asked me all kinds of questions about what vitamins I take , whether I still had periods or not , what types of surgeries I have had , etc . He even prescribed a Dexa scan to check on bone loss , but never once addressed my fibromyalgia and how this changePosted by I was at my chiropractor 's office and in one of his waiting rooms when I overheard a conversation about fibromyalgia . Now , I don 't eavesdrop as a general rule , but the layout of his rooms leaves an 18 " or so gap at the top of the common walls so I may as well have been in the room with them . His patient was asking him what he thought about being diagnosed with fibromyalgia at the tender age of 21 and his comments concerned me . He told her that he thought that fibromyalgia is overly diagnosed for just about anyone in pain and that it sets them up to fears that are unfounded . He said that it is proven not to be muscular - skeletal so it 's hard to treat , which is true . What is confusing is that I have seen it lumped in with Lupus , Chronic Fatigue , Diabetes and the like as a very serious illness . I guess I just don 't choose to see it that way . To me it is just an obstacle in the way of what I want to do sometimes and I have to learn to pick and choose what I can and can 't do or suffer the consequences . If it really doesn 't affect our muscles and it primarily a neurotransmitter that 's gone haywire , why would it be in league with lupus and other diseases that actually do attack you physically . Fibromyalgia certainly feels like physical pain but our muscles aren 't really overused so it 's a bit confusing . The patient was talking about her 21 yr old nephew and she couldn 't believe he could have fibromyalgia so she wanted an opinion . I am sure for some people this diagnosis could have serious repercussions especially if they have an attitude of giving up . We just can 't give up . What we have to do is find another avenue that works for us . There is always a silver lining on the other side if we journey long enough to find it . Even in the depression I have been experiencing I look for life lessons because I believe there is a reason for everything . It doesn 't necessarily make it any easier but at least I can tell myself that things will get better . Until next time : ) I was supposed to keep a daily diary of being on Savella , a fairly new drug to the fibromyalgia world , but I really didn 't like the side effects it had on me so I opted to quit taking it and start on some St . Johns Wart from my local drug store . The Savella is a bit of a bugger to be on as you are to eat a full breakfast before taking it and I am just not a breakfast person . On top of that I take Tramadol for pain and the net sites I visited to research Savella led me to believe these 2 are not to be mixed . That was a bit alarming as my doctor prescribed both for me at my last appt . The side effects were just a feeling of being unfocused and tired . I already deal with that anyway so the added problem wasn 't for me . Usually once I take the Tramadol in the morning the first several hours of the day are pretty good so being tired by 11 am was not working . I don 't know if my doctor will like this choice , but I know my body and I would rather deal with the depression my way . It 's been tough and I don 't feel like doing anything constructive . My mosaic has sat on my work table for over a week now and I can 't seem to get into it so I don 't push the issue or I will just make mistakes . I have been reading my bible and doing a lot of soul searching and praying to find out what is in store for me and what direction I should go next . I even played a game of spider solitaire on the computer which is something I haven 't done in over a year as my online business uses up all my time on the computer for the most part . So much has changed in my life over the last year that I think the grieving and accepting will take some time . I still plan to keep plugging away here on this blog and will post any news I hear regarding research on fibromyalgia as I always have my ear to the ground on that front . Until next time : ) Yesterday was not a good day for me . I got up and immediately took my tramadol ( for pain ) and felt great . I was ready for the day and had started planning and designing a new mosaic . About an hour after I took the tramadol I made sure to eat a bowl of cereal so that I could take the Savella and not get the nausea . I took it around 9 : 15 a . m . and by 11 : 30 I was unable to keep focused in on anything . I felt tired and directionless and in a fog . Normally when I get up and take the tramadol I get several good hours in before I start to drain , but not this time , so it was either the Savella or my allergies getting to me as to why I was suddenly so tired . I have the weirdest allergies of anyone I know . I never have the normal symptoms of runny nose and eyes , or sore throat from too much drainage . No , I get a stuffed up head that comes on so gradual that I don 't even know that I am affected until I have too many days where I feel like I can 't get it together . I feel foggy headed and just want to lie down . I can 't always sleep because the tramadol does keep me awake , but I can 't seem to get up and do anything . I can 't even dust my house without it affecting how I feel . I wear a mask to dust and am so careful not to let it get airborne but invariably I will end up in bed within a few hours after dusting because I am so tired I can barely function . It feels like someone drugged me it comes on so quickly . Scary . I plan to see an allergist as soon as I can get this depression under control , but I don 't want to do too much at once . If the Savella continues to make me feel tired I will stop taking it as I do not need any more days where I am out of commission . I suppose my doctor would tell me to keep taking it for several weeks to see how it goes , but I don 't know that I am willing to do that . I can usually tell very quickly if something is going to work or not . Until next time : ) Yesterday was my first day on the new drug for fibromyalgia , called " Savella " , and I didn 't have any problems at all . Surprisingly , I actually took a long nap in the early afternoon even though I was told not to take this drug too late in the day as it could keep you awake . I will be taking it twice a day soon and will be sure to take my 2nd pill no later than 2 or 3 in the afternoon just to be on the safe side . I have battled insomnia for more years than I could count so I definitely do not want anything to make that worse . I am ever hopeful that the time will come that I can be pain free and still have energy and a clear mind . I can 't tell you how many times over the last year I have had to ask my husband what the TV show we are watching is about because my mind wanders . I also have noticed a serious drop in memory so maybe Savella can change that . Originally Savella was used for depression in Europe and went by the name " Dalcipran " . Actually it is considered the most prescribed med for depression over there . And like any drug you research on the net , you will find someone who has had a bad experience with it so I am trying to keep a positive attitude . I have been taking tramadol to relieve pain for nearly 3 years and have noticed a significant change in my memory . I also have to be very careful not to take this med too late in the day as it definitely will keep you awake . I love the boost it gives me when I take it , but it doesn 't do a thing for the fibro fog , memory or depression . I just took my 2nd dose of Savella at 9am this morning and will see what the day brings . Until next time : ) O . K . , I am going to be totally honest here and tell you what has been going on with me so that you can use this information to maybe help yourself or someone you know . I have been battling a serious depression for several weeks now and have to push myself to even get on the computer . This particular bout of depression is not the first I have experienced but I haven 't had it this bad in years . It is the debilitating kind that leaves you very fatigued , uninterested in anything and can wreak havoc on your mind . In addition to this I found out that I have fractured my right foot and the hobbling has thrown off my sciatic nerve on the left side to the point I couldn 't sit for more than 10 or 15 minutes at a time . I had an appointment already scheduled for a physical so I talked to my doctor about putting me on an anti - depressant . I was given a prescription for a fairly new drug called " Savella " . Savella is prescribed primarily for fibromyalgia patients because it is supposed help relieve the pain , clear the fibro fog and memory as well as work on the depression . I have been on several anti - depressants over the years ( not in the last 10 or so ) and had terrible side effects so I am rather hesitant to try Savella . In fact , it has been sitting in my kitchen cupboard for nearly 2 weeks now . I made the mistake of researching it on the web and didn 't like what I saw . It supposedly causes nausea , headaches , possible dizziness and may lead to suicidal thoughts . Great , that 's all I need . The upside of this is that 10 out of 12 people in a post I read about Savelle feel it has helped their pain and energy levels as well as the foggy head and are thrilled to have found it . After much prayer and talking this out with my husband ( bless his heart for putting up with me for all these year ) I have decided I am going to give it a try and I am going to chronicle the effects it has on me in a diary form on this blog . Today was my first doze of Savella . I took 12mg around 8am as I learned from the web that you should not mix tramadol ( a pain Posted by I was just reading one of the blogs I follow , called Chronic Connection and I wanted so very much to comment and for whatever reason , I cannot seem to get Blogger to understand that I am the owner of this blog and one other as it will not let me through . So if you read this , please know that I may not be able to comment on some of your blogs . Anyway , back to what I started this post about . I was reading about how scary it is to realize that this chronic pain and all the extras that go with it ( fatigue , depression , insomnia , etc . ) has " become " my life . It is what I will be looking at every single day for the rest of my life . Getting up and knowing within an hour whether this is going to be a good day or a bad day . I have had a diagnosed case of fibromyalgia for 2 1 / 2 years now and I guess you could say I am forever hopeful that one day I will wake up and this nightmare will be gone . I started getting this debilitating pain when I was caring for my terminally ill mother back in 2007 , but I realize now that anything out of the ordinary daily routine for me will cause this pain to worsen . It might be too much use of my legs or arms or skipping a few weeks of my exercises and then going back to them , or it could be things out of my control that affect my emotions . Right now it is a sprained foot that has pulled me down and wreaking havoc on my fibromyalgia pain . Sitting all day and doing very little walking is making the pain so much worse for me . So I guess you could say that consistent exercise really does make you feel better . I woke up yesterday and felt like I was a new person . I had 8 full hours of sleep and was nearly pain free except for my foot , which doesn 't count . I have no idea why all of a sudden I seem better , but I won 't look a gift horse in the mouth . Today I am alert , energetic and ready for the day and even plan to go to my grandson 's class and deliver 24 Easter cupcakes that I made last night . Having this chronic illness is like living the life of Dr . Jekyll and Mr . Hyde . You never know which one you are gPosted by I am still alive and kicking , well , not kicking as I am still dealing with this sprained foot . I have never sprained anything before and had no idea it takes so darn long to heal . I so miss my walking every night and it has taken a toll on my fibromyalgia . Walking has been my only real form of exercise as using the pool has a tendency to make me very sore because it 's hard to determine if you are over doing it . Now that I can 't make my jaunt around the neighborhood I can feel the weight gaining up on me and I am much more creaky and cranky . It has been difficult to sit here at my desk and work on the computer because I can 't prop up the foot and it just throbs with all the blood going down to it , so I haven 't been posting much or promoting my mosaic shop . I did read an article the other day and so wish I had saved it as it lumped fibromyalgia in with other degenerative diseases such as lupus , diabetes , CFS and others that don 't come to mind at the moment . But I was left thinking how odd that was as I never thought of fibro as being a degenerative illness . It supposedly never gets worse as time goes by like the other diseases , so why would it have been added to this list . If fibromyalgia is the pain sensors malfunctioning telling us we are hurting and the muscles aren 't really sore or stretched or whatever , how can it be degenerative ? It isn 't really happening physically , is it ? ? OK , time to do more research . I know that if I do excessive vacuuming or pruning my trees or anything that uses parts of my body that I don 't normally use on a daily basis my brain tells me I just ran a marathon , but my muscles aren 't really overused , just that my brain thinks they are . Now , I do know that if the brain is telling you something that it does affect your body , but this is a bit confusing to me . I will check this out and get back to you . Until next time : ) I love to read this magazine called " Natural Awakenings " whenever I go to my chiropractor 's office . It is loaded with healthy tips , news , recipes and much more , but this week I was reading about the benefits of white tea . OK , I am probably a bit out of the loop , as I 'm still finishing my bags of green tea , but after reading some of the benefits of this one I thought I would pass it on . Professor Declan Naughton of Kingston University , in London , one of UK 's leading specialists on inflammation states that white tea may help reduce the risk of inflammation that is characteristic of rheumatoid arthritis and some cancers , as well as wrinkles . I am thinking that it could also be a good thing for fibromyalgia sufferers too . According to this article , the properties of white tea go beyond high levels of antioxidants to also block the activities of enzymes that break down elastin and collagen . The doctor explains that elastin is what supports the body 's natural elasticity , which helps the lungs , arteries , ligaments and skin to function . It also is said to help body tissues repair wounds and stops skin from sagging ( I wish I found this years ago ) . Collagen is a protein found in connective tissues , which is also key to skin strength and resiliency . I figure I may as well give it a try , as it doesn 't appear that there is anything to lose and much to gain . I don 't like to run out and get everything that comes down the pike , but I do like a cup of tea now and then so I will be giving this one a whirl . This has been a really tough week for me . I think my body is screaming because I sprained my foot and have been hobbling around for several days now . It throws the balance off and creates other malfunctions , for lack of a better word , throughout my right side . The painful throb of my foot compiled with the fibromyalgia kicking up into high gear has been really difficult for me to be creative this past week . My mosaics have suffered and 2 pieces are still waiting to be finished so that I can list them . I used to go in for a massage at least 2 times or more a month , but that can get very expensive and with money being on the tight side right now I don 't feel I want to spend it on that . I do get my husband to work out some of the kinks at night so that has been very helpful . For me , when my body is this far out of whack the only thing I can do is go to the chiropractor and have him adjust me . Usually one time is enough these days , but I haven 't had this long of a period of pain in some time . I think of all of you who have this kind of pain on a daily basis with no way to ease it and it does make me grateful that mine can be remedied with time . Just wanted to share with all of you what was going on as it 's been a little quiet on this end . I am working on a new post about some new information on fibromyalgia . Whether or not it is true remains to be seen . Until next time . : ) A while back I posted about my thoughts on the causes of Fibromyalgia . To date , there still isn 't a bonafide reason or cause for this chronic illness and after thinking about this for some time I have decided to try and accumulate some information and I could use your help . This is not something that will be published or renowned as " the cause " , but I am just very curious to dig a little deeper . To repeat my thoughts on this , I still believe that fibromyalgia is the breaking down of the body due to an overtaxed brain that can no longer keep it 's signals in order . We all know that fibromyalgia is due to a mixed signal in the brain that is telling our minds and bodies that we are experiencing exaggerated pain in our muscles . It is a very real pain and has affected some people so severely that it has completely changed their lifestyle . OK , so if a person who is a nurturer by nature , is a possible people pleasing personality , is a dweller on certain situations trying to remedy them , is highly stressed emotionally , has learned to stuff many of their emotions rather than face confrontation or reaction , etc , then they are a prime target for a chronic illness such as fibromyalgia even if they have changed their behavior . It takes years of emotional stress to start coming out in a physical way because the body isn 't designed to hold it all in . It may come out in other ways such a low immune system , rashes , hair loss , allergies , sensitivities and so on , but it will come out eventually . I am wondering if fibromyalgia is the direct result of living a life such as I mention above as everyone I know who has this chronic problem also exhibits this type of personality . For the most part , fibromyalgia primarily affects women and we have always been considered the emotional hub of the family . We are geared differently than most men and strive to keep the peace and harmony in our relationships and family and adding a career to the mix only compounds the problem . Here are my questions to you : 1 . Can you relate to any of these characteristiPosted by Just pucker up and deal with it . I know , not a very nice thing to say , but this week has not been one of my better ones . My fibromyalgia seems to be in high gear so the sleeping is so , so , but I was doing some promoting on my computer and evidentally sat for too long as my foot fell asleep and when I got up I took one giant step and fell right onto the tiled floor . My foot went sideways under me and I banged my knee up pretty good so now I have a sprained foot . I always sit with my feet tucked up underneath myself so that is why my foot went to sleep , but I have never had my entire leg give out from under me like that . Whew , scary . It will get better so I will be back to posting on a regular basis again soon . I miss my nightly walks around the neighborhood and am hopeful I will be able to get back to that soon . In the meantime I am still doing my exercises for the muscles as I just know that is what keeps me from getting really bad . Whenever I start to feel like my body is holding together with safety pins I know it 's time to get back to regular exercising . I don 't know if you experience this or not , but to me , it feels like my tendons are loose and my body creaks in weird places and if I move too suddenly it 's all going to be over . My best description for this is " being held together with safety pins " . Hope all of you are having a better week than me . Until next time : ) I am on the docket for having a physical in April so I am scheduling for my blood tests now so that I will have the results in plenty of time to show my doctor . I was reading the different ones she put a check by and noticed there was one marked " Fibromyalgia " . I thought that was odd as to my knowledge there is no blood test . Sure enough , I was researching it on the web and did not see anything about an actual fibro blood test , only tests to rule out other illnesses . So why does my lab test sheet have a place for the doctor to check for fibroymyalgia . I do not know , but you can bet I will be asking both the lab tech and my doctor . This is what I found about blood testing on the web . I have a tendency to gravitate to the Mayo Clinic site , but all the ones I read basically say the same thing . " Blood tests : While there is no lab test to confirm a diagnosis of fibromyalgia , your doctor may want to rule out other conditions that may have similar symptoms " . Blood tests may include : Complete blood countErythrocyte sedimentation rateThyroid function testsNow , if you lived inside my brain your first thought would be : " What if fibromyalgia doesn 't come up positive on the blood results ? Does that mean she will take my meds away ? " I know that is my negative bent coming out , but when waiting for the other shoe to drop , so to speak , it generally has so I have become somewhat cynical . I truly hate to even admit that as I am a Christian woman who believes all things are possible with God , but after many years of very stressful events it 's been difficult to stay positive . My appointment isn 't until the latter half of March , but I will post what I find out . If any of you have had a Fibromyalgia blood test , please enlighten me . On another note , I have been listening to Joel Osteen 's newest cd , " It 's Your Time " , and it has really helped me to stay postive about so many parts of my life . This particular cd is geared to audiences who may be having difficult times in this recession , but he is such an encouraging person that it can work for anyPosted by Thanks so much to Nancy of Chronic Connection for giving me the " Sugar Doll " Award . I so enjoy reading your blog and appreciate your openess about your life and your struggles . I truly feel we have a " connection " . As a part of receiving this award I am to list 10 things about myself , so here we go : 1 . I love Jane Austen Books and Films . 2 . I don 't have a favorite color . 3 . I don 't have a middle name . 4 . I love romance movies because there is usually a happy ending . 5 . I love history museums . 6 . My husband was once my son 's " Big Brother " from the Big Bros . / Big Sisters Foundation . 7 . I have 32 year old twins . 8 . I collect " Gone With the Wind " memorabilia as well as the " Titanic " . 9 . I read 2 - 3 books a week . 10 . I cry at sentimental movies ; even a Hallmark Card commercial . Now I am to pass this on to others , and I can think of many who are very deserving , but I have asked them to participate with other things through Chris ' Comments and many just don 't have the time anymore , so I would like to save it until I meet some new bloggers . I have been researching the web again this morning looking for the very first diagnosed case of fibromyalgia . Of course , it leads you to website after website of non - related information so I thought I would throw this out there for you to see . I came across one site that states several possible causes of this chronic illness . Everything from relationship troubles to consuming too many pesticides , hormones , and by - products of prescription drugs . I have my own theory based on my own case and I would love to get your take on what you think brought about your fibromyalgia or CFS . Here 's my thoughts : I think living a highly stressed life ( especially one that you feel you can 't control the outcome ) combined with certain personality types ( the nurturers , the people pleasers , the empathetic , the fearful , etc ) along with the man made chemicals such as pesticides , hormones , food enhancers causes a breakdown in the body that comes on very gradually . Each crisis that comes along in your life sets you further back and eventually comes out in a physical way from overload . I learned the hard way that each time something traumatic happened in my life that my neck and back got considerably worse . I never really related this because I was never stress free and it didn 't always happen right away . I believe the body reacts to the mental stress and eventually you feel it physically . Too much stress will deplete your adrenal glands which leaves you vulnerable to many other problems such as insomnia , fatigue , depression , cravings for sweets and low blood pressure or low blood sugar . Our adrenal glands are essential to our lives as they secrete the hormones necessary to help the body deal with stress . The adrenal hormones , adrenaline and cortisol , activate the body 's " fight or flight " response . If overused it can get stuck . Think of a pendulum that swings back and forth and suddenly gets stuck to one side . That is what happens when you experience panic attacks . Your body senses danger and is reacting , but your mind doesn 't understand as there Posted by My husband bought tickets to see " The Phantom of the Opera " in Orlando for our 21st wedding anniversary and I was very excited to go , but knew that all that sitting ( the drive to Orlando and the show itself ) had to be done in doses . It 's really the pits to have to always plan your life around your pain , but that is what it has come to for me and I am sure for many others . We went up the morning of the show and planned to stay overnight , mostly because we didn 't want to drive home at 11pm , not so much because of the sitting , however , it did help to have the hotel 10 minutes away . Anyway , I planned in advance to take my pain meds with me so that I could take them at the intermission . I asked my husband to remind me to take them and then I put them in my pill box that I carry at all times in my purse ( I have one in each of my two everyday purses ) . Well , Ralph reminded me at the break and we worked our way through the crowd to find the drinking fountain and sure enough I forgot to transfer them to my evening bag . That is what is so crazy . I took the pill box out of the regular purse and put my pills in it and had my evening bag right there on the hotel table and spaced it out or something and ended up putting them back in my regular bag . So about 15 minutes into the second half of the show I started aching in my hips and had to keep readjusting my position in the chair . It always makes me feel like a fidgety little kid , but I honestly cannot sit still when my hips and legs start aching . I enjoyed seeing the play very much but it would have been better if I could have gotten through it without the distraction . What is scary is how much of this is the fibro fog and how much of it is getting older ? ? Here 's another story about getting older . Humorous , but a little scary . I think I told everyone on Chris ' Comments about the time my husband left the car running with the keys in the car and the doors unlocked while we and our friends had dinner in a restaurant nearby . He was so distracted by the conversation with our neighbors that Posted by Most of my life I would say I was a morning person . Still am to some degree as I do most of my serious thinking and creating early in the day . It 's just my husband and me now , but when I had all the kids home I got in the habit of getting up early . Since fibromyalgia has come into my life I find that I am not much of a morning person until the drugs have started working ( which is anywhere from 30 - 45 minutes ) . Most of the time it is some sort of ache or pain that wakes me up in the first place . All these years I thought I just couldn 't sleep in like regular people . Now I know it 's because I was hurting and uncomfortable and had gotten so used to it that I didn 't even realize that the pain was waking me up . I still have days where I can 't sleep past 6am no matter what time I went to bed the night before . If I have overdone something or have additional stresses added to my life it will not only keep me up at night but wake me up in the morning . I guess sometimes you just can 't win . I have to tell you though , I do thank God every day that I am still upright and able to walk even with the pain because I certainly know it could be a lot worse . . I would love to know what your mornings are like . Do you wake up stiff and sore or do you feel rested and ready to go ? I find it hard to believe anyone with fibromyalgia wakes up pain free , truthfully , but maybe I am wrong . I honestly do not know what I would do if I had to get up and out to a full time job everyday . I really feel for those of you who do . Not just the getting up and moving right away , but the sitting or standing around that many jobs require would kill me . A trip to the coffee machine or copier is not enough for me if I have been sitting for several hours . So , tell me what you are like in the mornings . Do you have a full time job ? How do you handle it with this chronic illness ? PH Balance Chart Acidic ( Healthy Range ) Alkaline5 . 8 - 6 . 0 - 6 . 2 - 6 . 4 - 6 . 6 ( 6 . 8 - 7 . 0 - 7 . 2 - 7 . 4 ) 7 . 67 . 8 - 8 . 0 - 8 . 2 - 8 . 4Human blood pH should be slightly alkaline . Below or above this range means symptoms and disease . Acidic pH can occur from , an acid forming diet , emotional stress , toxic overload , and / or immune reactions or any process that deprives the cells of oxygen and other nutrients . The body will try to compensate for acidic pH by using alkaline minerals . If the diet does not contain enough minerals to compensate , a build up of acids in the cells will occur . An acidic balance will : decrease the body 's ability to absorb minerals and other nutrients , decrease the energy production in the cells , decrease it 's ability to repair damaged cells , decrease it 's ability to detoxify heavy metals , make tumor cells thrive , and make it more susceptible to fatigue and illness . Some signs of extended acidic ph levels are : Weakening of the skin , hair , nails , teeth , bonesDeterioration of the digestive tract , leaky gut syndromeCandidaAllergiesExcitability of the nervous system , sciaticaTendency to depressive illness , anxiety , panic disordersMuscular spasms and crampsEnhances susceptibility to infections ( bacterial , viral , etc . ) Chronic fatigueBlockage of certain minerals which become unavailableIncreased risk of cancerous cells proliferatingFibromyalgia patients already have a weakened immunity and keeping track of your ph levels is just one way to stay on top of your diet and what 's going on internally . I am listing the most common foods that are acidic and alkaline . Knowing these may help you determine what you can change when planning your meals if you find you are acidic since most fibromyalgia sufferers are usually on the " more acidic " side of the scale . ACIDIFYING FOODSACIDIFYING VEGETABLESCorn , Lentils , Olives , Winter SquashACIDIFYING FRUITSBlueberries , Canned or Glazed Fruits , Cranberries , Currants , Plums * * Prunes * * ACIDIFYING GRAINS , GRAIN PRODUCTSAmaranth , Barley , Bran , oat Bran , wheat Bread , Corn , Cornstarch , Crackers , soda Flour , wheatPosted by I have been given the " Happy Award " from Michele of Do Beautiful Things . I first met Michele when she started to follow my blog . She frequently leaves very nice comments and I want her to know how much I appreciate that . It keeps me going . The Happy comes with a few conditions , which I repeat for you here : 1 . Copy and paste the award on your blog . 2 . List who gave the award to you and link to his / her blog . 3 . List 10 things that make you happy . 4 . Pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blogs to let them know ! The 10 things that make me the happiest would be . . . 1 . The early morning time before anyone else is up . It 's when I think . 2 . Hugs from my grandchildren . 3 . Time alone with my thoughts and God . 4 . Knowing that I may have helped make someone 's life better . 5 . Listening to the waves of the ocean . 6 . The passion that stirs when I get a great idea for a mosaic . 7 . Taking long walks with my husband because we have time to talk uninterupted . 8 . Walking through history museums . I just love to read about people from other periods and how they lived . 9 . Listening to Enya10 . Long , meaningful conversations with my daughter . I would like to give the " Happy " award to : Natalie of Tins and Treasures as she is one of the nicest people I have met online and her blog is heartwarming and always a delight to read . Felicia of Another Bright Idea as she always has fun things going on with her blog that make me smile . I hope to reach others who may have or know someone who has fibromyalgia . It is still a mysterious illness that is not widely accepted in the medical field and can easily be misdiagnosed . I will be sharing stories of my life and how fibromyalgia has changed it as well as articles I 've researched to better educate ourselves to understanding this chronic problem . Characteristics of Fibromyalgia from the Mayo Clinic Staff : The pain associated with fibromyalgia is described as a constant dull ache , typically arising from muscles . To be considered widespread , the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist . Fibromyalgia is characterized by additional pain when firm pressure is applied to specific areas of your body , called tender points . Tender point locations include : Back of the headBetween shoulder bladesTop of shouldersFront sides of neckUpper chestOuter elbowsUpper hipsSides of hipsInner knees
|
Hey all , Hope everything is well . I just watched Despicable Me this weekend . Now , that is a good movie . I didn 't think it was going to be good , but it is . I really liked it . I finally finished reading The Book Thief . It was a huge success you know , " National Best Seller . " I didn 't think it was that good . I have just started reading Samson and the Pirate Monks . This book is about a pastor from Tennessee who was a sex addict . He claims he spent over $ 300 , 000 on porn and prostitutes , all while holding a job as a senior pastor . It is about his addiction and his walk to recovery . He was a guest speaker at our church , so I bought the book . This time of year in Florida , the weather is so hot and cold . Literally . It was 48 this weekend and it is 83 right now . Yesterday it was raining ; today is beautiful . This weather takes a toll on peoples ' immune systems . Sickness is running rampant around here . One of my hygienists got sick about three months ago . It started with a cough that lasted about a week . You could tell she was fighting it off . Then it turned into a full - blown sickness . Of course , she was still coming to work and everyone kept telling her , " Girl , you need to see a doctor . " Then the other hygienists started sniffling and fighting it off . Then it started at home . One of my kids got sick and the others slowly followed . First it was the baby and we thought he was teething . But then my daughter was fighting it off like mad . So both areas of my life are filled with snot and coughing . Then I started to have pain in the back of my throat . You know the kind : when you swallow , you feel like someone is shoving an ice pick in one spot . And this has gone on for a couple of weeks . It is bad in the morning and I take an ibuprofen . Then I manage through the day and take another ibuprofen before I go to bed . Meanwhile , there is a third person at my office that is now hacking . She sounds terrible . " Girl go to the doctor . " Now my third child and my wife are sick . I don 't have a chance . But I remain strong . I am a runner and I dPosted by Let 's talk about the timeless age old debate . Which came first - the chicken or the egg ? No , the real debate : is a dentist a doctor or is a physician the only real doctor ? I think maybe the only other health care doctor other than a dentist that takes more of a beating is the chiropractor ( as Rodney Dangerfield stated , " I get no respect ! " ) . If you read my blog last week , I ended it telling you to go to YouTube , look up Dentist vs . Doctor , and watch the extra normal video . My wife works at a hospital as an RN part time . She has commented that when people hear her mention Dr . Joyce , they ask what type of doctor he is . When she responds they say , " Oh , he is just a dentist ! " This will make more sense if you watch that video . It appears from the comments that some physicians and dentists take this issue very seriously . We have all sorts of doctorate degrees : PhD , PharmD , DMD , DDS , MD and so on . Each of them specify or indicate an advanced level of education and knowledge that come with the title . By no means do I think or feel I am a physician . I have a Doctor of Dental Medicine degree . I spent 4 years after undergraduate and then another two years of formal accredited education learning about the diseases and conditions that are associated with the oral cavity , head and neck . When I sit back and think about it , what I find amazing that not only do I examine and diagnose , but also perform surgery if needed ( removing and repairing living human tissue ) , sometimes all in the same hour . Someone has to be well - trained and knowledgeable to do that and cause no long - term ill effects . For that accomplishment , one is worthy of the title Doctor ! How many times have you heard about someone going to their internist or general family practitioner with a suspicious looking mole and having it removed and biopsied . This is almost never done anymore . Sorry Michael J . Fox , but Doc Hollywood delivering babies and setting a fractured arm in the same day just doesn 't happen . ( I used this reference because the town they filmed Posted by Hey all , First I wanted to address my last blog . I was angry and I might have sounded a bit harsh to corporate dentists . I might have brushed them all in the same stroke . I thought there were some great comments , here is one : First , let me say that I think your blog is great dentists both young and old . But I find your latest post a bit disturbing . I have worked for a group practice and private and if you are naive enough to think that over treating is just occurring in the multiple - doctor practices then you are sadly mistaken . I like you agree that far to often than we 'd like we see patient coming in for second opinions with what can only be described as " aggressive " treatments . But I feel safe in saying that just because a private practice doesn 't have a " CFO " managing daily production doesn 't mean that they don 't have daily financial goals . I feel it does it disservice to the dental profession to group " all " the dentists that practice a group setting as over treating and just - concerned - about - the - money people . It would be equivalent to saying after one bad experience to McDonalds that " all " McDonalds have bad service . To make a generalized statement about group practices is simply unfair . Again , let me state that I agree with you concern over dentists that over treat . But please be more conscious about generalizing all group practices and consequently all dentists that work in a group practice in the same boat . I have to say I totally agree with this person . I think over treatment is a common problem , industry - wide , and I don 't think all corporate dentists or multi - dentist facilities are bad . I apologize for my curtness and I appreciate his / her comment . I will be more conscientious about my words . Again , I am sorry for being somewhat of a jerk . I was doing a bridge on an 88 - year - old woman on teeth 5 - 8 . She is frail , but # 6 was broken down below the level of the bone and it had to be done . Two days earlier I had done a huge filling on # 8 . I decided that there was too much filling on this tooth and it wasn 't going Posted by I do not know about your town ( big , small or in between ) , but it is interesting to see a new dentist move into town . We have had some new ones move in and their welcome by other dentists is mixed . Some of the current dentists welcome them with open arms ; others act like they are jumping their gold claim ! My town is full of good orthodontists . Lately , the grumbling has been that four more orthodontists are coming to town . I can see why the other people would be nervous . There was another specialist that moved in recently and some of the dentists that have been in town awhile seem to be stirring up some rumors about them . It can be really hard for a new young gun out of school to move into a small to medium town . I withhold judgment until I feel proof they are good or bad . John 's blog about the corporate offices is so true to my area , as well . Mainly , they have new graduates working there . Working for certain corporate offices can already put a strike against you in some dentist 's minds . How many dentists and specialists per capita is an ideal number ? I know it would vary based on age and demographics of the population and specialty . I bet there is some organization with that info out there . If you get a chance , go to YouTube and look up dentist vs . doctor extra normal video . I find it hilarious . Read the comments - people take this very seriously . I will write about this in an upcoming blog . Have a great week , J . J . Happy belated Valentine 's Day . I took my wife out to dinner and a movie last night . We saw Contraband with Mark Walberg . It was okay , nothing great . This is the kind of movie I would put in the back of my mind for Netflix , but she likes action movies . She really wanted to see Mission Impossible IV , but it is not showing anymore . Anyway , I hope you all are doing well . And I hope you are enjoying the blog . We are consistently getting over 1 , 000 readers a week . I remember a couple of years ago we were thrilled with getting 300 readers every week . It just keeps reinforcing to us that dentists need other dentists . Like a quote from the Bible about " iron sharpening iron . " That is what we are trying to do here . Today 's topic is something that I have been talking about for the last year or so , but it happened again and I want to talk about it . I am sure that , like me , you are losing patients to " the guy on my insurance . " I am okay with this because I understand that it is hard out there for my patients . If they have to go discount dentist to get their teeth cleaned , I am okay with this . How bad could it be for them ? That is my stumbling block : how bad is it ? I had a dad come up to me at church on Sunday and say , " My son needs to come see you . His dentist told him he needs a root canal . " The dad comes to me and the mom and kids go to the local corporate dentists . The kid is 20 years old . When I asked him , he said the tooth didn 't hurt . I told the dad that his son probably has a cavity that needs to be filled , but that if it doesn 't hurt , there is a very small chance he is going to need a root canal . I told him that the corporate dentists have a knack for over - treating ( if you are a corporate dentist and want to talk , email me at jgammichia @ aol . com ) . They have a CEO and CFO that want them to meet a quota for the day , and sometimes their judgment gets clouded by " the man . " I told him to make an appointment and I will look at it . The dentists that say they are going to save money would have cost them a root canal , postPosted by Greetings , Well folks , as you can see , or probably have already figured out , I didn 't get the Miami Dolphin gig . They picked " the tall guy , " which I 'm cool with . They just have to realize that they had a true dol - fan that they passed on . Honestly , I thought I would get a call for maybe an assistant position . I guess it was the " west coast " offense they wanted to install ( which I know nothing about ) . So , I was driving back home to Ocala from the Panhandle of Florida this weekend . I - 10 seems to go on forever ( I think it was just a coincidence that the air smelled funny as I went through Tallahassee , hehe ) , and it gives a person a lot of time to think . One of our reps was in our office last week helping us organize our endo armamentarium . Now , through the years , I have had several different endo kits . After dental school , I was told that the way we were taught is outdated and this is the way I need to do it . I bought all of this new equipment : files , motors , gutta percha , etc . A year went by before I was told that there was a better way to do endo . Evidently , someone had done some research somewhere and the results showed that what I was doing didn 't work . Well , I didn 't want that ! I did some exchanging and buy - back deals and then I was set with the " right system . " Ah , finally I was doing something right . Time went by , and guess what . You can see where I am going . Today I am on my 8th " right system . " I agree that it 's a little confusing . Constant taper , different tip size , same tip size , different taper , single cone , lateral condensation , continuous wave , vertical condensation , back fill , biogeneric cement , and on and on . I have realized that ( I know I am slow ) , for the last 17 years , I have been maintaining teeth that have been endodontically treated by people other than me . For instance , many patients in their 80s have a mouth full of silver points . Sure , some of them had to be retreated . The root canals I performed using all the other 7 systems before the one I 'm using now seem to be survPosted by Yesterday I spoke , FOR MONEY , for the first time . I drove down to Miami to speak to a study club . I have two words for you : Awe . Some ! It was a great crowd . They were very conservative and they loved my stuff . Lots of nods and lots of great questions . Afterwards , lots of people came up and thanked me . I think they liked it . I was nervous as heck , but it turned out great . So , it has officially started ( on the drive down , I got a call from the Florida AGD asking me to speak for them . Nice ! ) . Okay where was I ? Dentistry with our Hearts . We started triage at about 5 : 50 in the morning . We have two rooms designated to seeing people first , talking to them , taking an x - ray of the problem tooth or teeth , and then numbing them up . Then they sit in the reception area and wait to be called . I have always thought that this is the fastest way to see people and it is easier on the treating dentist because they can get started right away and not worry about the numbing at all . Remember I was telling you about the last minute oral surgeon ? Well , she was an absolute superstar . She is 6 months out of her residency and she worked like a dog . At one point , she asked me if it was okay if she got a glass of water . I gave all my kids permission to miss school so they could be there . My oldest is 12 , so I put him in the oral surgery room . He loved it . " Dad ! Did you see how long that tooth was ? " I overbooked the dentists . I did this because things come up and inevitably someone has a family crisis or something . But everyone came , so in the morning , my dad and I did not have a specific job . I walked around saying I was " eye candy " for the event . I made sure everyone was happy and had all the supplies they needed . As I was walking around , I realized that it was really happening . My friends came and were thrilled to be there . Patients were being treated and they were thrilled to be there . People were outside working and serving and they were having a good time . My staff also realized how awesome this event was . To me , this is what heaven isPosted by Wow . I had a crazy weekend . Friday was our 8th annual Dentistry with our Hearts . It was a huge success . Before I tell you about that day , let me tell you about what had to happen before . If you don 't know about it , Dentistry With Our Hearts is a day we open up our office to treat as many patients as we can for free . We limit the day to just fillings and extractions ( cleanings just take too long ) . But before that can happen , I sit down with my staff about 7 - 8 months to start the planning . We pick a Friday in February ( Dental Health Month ) and start planning . Last year we did it toward the end of February to avoid inclement weather . But by that time , the media blitz for Dental Health was over . So this year , we threw caution to the wind and did it the first Friday in February . The weather was perfect . And as far as the media blitz goes , well , I will talk about that at the end of this blog . We divvied up jobs . We need people in charge of marketing ; t - shirts ; supplies ; dentists and non - dentists ; volunteers ; food for the volunteers ; food for the people outside ; donations , a DJ . Then there is the rental equipment , including chairs , Port - O - Lets and barricades . When the planning starts , we talk about it at every monthly staff meeting . We tighten up and give each other advice . When we get back from our Christmas break , we are just about going crazy . We go from having meetings bi - monthly to twice a week . A week before the event , things start to happen . The signs go up at our office announcing the date . There are several marquees ( banks and insurance companies with digital signs ) as you go through town that announce the date . I have a place on my sign where I can add a banner . A local radio station has me on Thursday morning and we talk about the day . And even though the phone number is never given out , the phone starts to go crazy . We create a designated voicemail box that we put people through to ( we are still trying to run a business here ) . Last year , a dental school classmate told me he really wanted to be a part of thisPosted by I hope all is well with you . We have had a change in dynamics at our office . About 8 months ago , we had a senior dentist approach us about working in our office . It sounded like he was in a real pickle . He had sold his practice and was forced out but then realized he wanted to continue working . He needed a place to temporarily " grow roots " for a few years . He is a very nice man and we wanted to help him . We have an extra chair and would benefit from having him at the office . We came up with a contract and off we went . Well , he practices very differently than Dr . Jackson and I do . He advertises himself a " biologic " dentist . He does not believe in fluoride . Many of his patients are on the holistic side with a different view of the dental world , or , world in general . His approach to hygiene is different than ours . Many of his previous patients followed him and brought their ideas of how a dental office should run . At our office , we have developed guidelines and somewhat strict procedures on how we bill and collect payment for treatment . Many of his patients are used to a very " liberal " way of how the billing and financial side of the practice works , so several of his patients are less than nice to the front desk staff . Needless to say , the front desk personnel are many times up in arms frustrated mad with him and his overly demanding patients . They can get very rude and demanding , always throwing out , " This is not how it used to be done ! " Our staff just politely and professionally explain our policies , hold their ground , and move one . The hygienists are going batty trying to figure out how to manage his patients from a perio perspective . They are used to a very conventional , standard approach . We are not overly aggressive with scale and root planning , but we do them if clinically supported . We all know that many times patients don 't want to do it ! Our staff explains to them it is the proper treatment and , in some cases , we will have to dismiss the patient if they do not decide to accept treatment ( Posted by Tomorrow is my free dental day . " Dentistry with our Hearts " is a day we open our doors and treat as many patients as we can for free . I put a dentist in every room ( eight ) and we go as fast as we can . It is a crazy day . It is first come , first served ; last year people got here before I left work on Thursday . We cut the line off at 130 people and that was at 6 : 30 . A lot of the stuff is donated : supplies , anesthetic , food for the volunteers ( about 40 ) . There is even a DJ and a grill master outside feeding the masses . T - shirts are donated . It is awesome . I may have a chance to write blog tomorrow , but if not , I will talk to you next Wednesday . I was just thinking about my yesterday while I was getting ready for work . I had a very busy day and I was reflecting on it . And you know what ? I started to think about how hard my assistants worked . Yeah , the same assistants I talk bad about most of the time . Well not bad , but not great . I have two assistants mostly . Mine , who I met at one of my associateships 16 years ago , has worked with me for 16 years and in this office for 15 years . The other assistant is my father 's # 1 assistant and has been with this practice for 34 years . That alone will tell you a little bit about them . My assistant Chris is pretty special . In my lecture I have a list of the top ten things you must have to do awesome fillings . Chris is one of the top ten . Now , I know she can 't be duplicated , but you have to have someone like her . Our relationship is so unique . I always say she is my office wife . I literally sit 3 feet from her 8 hours a day . First , I have to like her and she has to like me . I can understand " a working relationship . " But Chris and I are friends . Her family is friends with my family . I love her husband . She gets invited to all Gammichia parties ( her family even came over for Thanksgiving last year ) . I know most of you are not that friendly with your assistant . We have a weird relationship . I think it works because she is a little older than me ( 13 years ) . But let 's put personPosted by The purpose of The Daily Grind is to offer readers a glimpse into the life of general dentists practicing today . Each post offers a perspective on managing a dental practice or balancing a life outside of the practice . The Daily Grind is written by several general dentist and student members of the Academy of General Dentistry . All content published on The Daily Grind is property of the Academy of General Dentistry and cannot be reposted or reprinted without permission . To request permission to reprint a blog , please contact Stacy Jeziorowski , Communications Specialist , at stacy . jeziorowski @ agd . org . Subscribe to The Daily Grind . Click on the link above and simply press " Send " on your email request to receive an email each time a new blog is posted !
|
These crawls are part of an effort to archive pages as they are created and archive the pages that they refer to . That way , as the pages that are referenced are changed or taken from the web , a link to the version that was live when the page was written will be preserved . Then the Internet Archive hopes that references to these archived pages will be put in place of a link that would be otherwise be broken , or a companion link to allow people to see what was originally intended by a page 's authors . In my experience , those who beg for mercy seldom deserve it . I deserved it so I didn 't beg . My mother let up anyway after a few seconds and said , " Stephen , when are you going to learn to comb your hair before you come down for breakfast ? I 'm sick of having to do it for you . " " I don 't know why I bother anyway , you never take the slightest bit of notice . " She was silent for a moment then demanded to know why I was always so damned quiet . She knew why ; telling her again would be pointless . " Stephen ! " It was lunchtime when Val Conway heard the news , and the first thought that slunk into her mind uninvited was : Where had her son Stephen been last night before she 'd heard him blunder through the kitchen on his way to bed ? Working in a sandwich shop , the middle of the day didn 't give her much time to brood , but the younger women , staff and familiar customers , twittered with nervous excitement about it all afternoon . Theirs was a small market town - violent crime was something that happened in cities to distant relatives who 'd had the audacity to move away . This wasn 't just one dead girl , it was the world turned upside down . An afternoon coffee - break gave Val a few minutes to turn the matter over in peace . Jessica Dovedale was dead ; a year ago Stephen had been unofficially warned off her by the local police and , though there 'd been no further complaints , Val had no idea whether her son still watched Jessica or sat outside her house in the early hours . Jessica could have simply resigned herself to it , thinking Stephen was irritating , maybe even creepy , but ultimately harmless . Had Val and Jessica both been wrong ? I didn 't climb my usual tree : I couldn 't see anyone around but there was no sense handing secrets to someone watching from a window . Not that I 'd be coming here again now that Jessica was dead , but I didn 't think I 'd ever been seen here in the dark and I wasn 't about to give them any rope to hang me with . I 'm not as stupid as most people think . I walked slowly , mainly watching the water to my left , trying not to look like I was looking at Jessica 's back garden , still a few houses away and up the steep bank to my right . From my tree I could see over the high fence , but as I passed under its branches on the path all I could see was loose guttering and a moss - spattered roof . I sped up as I passed under the shadow of Jessica 's fence . The path here was more exposed , narrowed by the long , low - fenced , terraced gardens of the older houses Jessica 's parents lived beside because living in one would have been too expensive . Stubby solar lamps snaked down the second long garden , but the first was pitch black at night , with a wooden gate that wouldn 't squeak . Useful if you were planning a silent getaway . Judging by the appraising look her neighbour had given her through the window as Val fumbled her key into the lock , it hadn 't taken long for other people to remember Stephen 's fascination with Jessica Dovedale . Presumably the police hadn 't got round to that way of thinking yet or they 'd have already been here asking questions . Val turned the tap off and stood with the kettle poised over the sink . The house felt empty . " Stephen ? " she called from the doorway but at the same time started jogging towards the stairs , knowing he wouldn 't answer even if he was in . A wave of nausea hit her halfway up and she grabbed the banister for support . This was a murder investigation with policemen drafted in from a city where no - one knew each other , not the local force who knew Stephen and had seen what his father 's death had done to him . " Stephen ? " she whispered as she lurched onto the landing . The late afternoon sun lit her son 's room in a way that emphasised its emptiness . Val noticed the two custard creams resting in a torn packet on his bedside cabinet and began to cry . She didn 't indulge herself for long . She hadn 't had the opportunity or inclination to do so in a long while and this wasn 't a good time to start slipping . Stephen needed her to keep calm and protect him . The trouble was , Stephen was a grown man , at least in the eyes of the law , and no amount of character references from his mother would help if he was in trouble . Val nibbled nervously at her lower lip - she couldn 't even bring herself to say the phrase in her head . He would need help if he had indeed murdered Jessica Dovedale . There , it was out , she had formed the words that told her she didn 't know her son or what he did or thought , or where he went . It would have been an appropriate time to cry again , but she had hauled herself past that , and there was tea to be made . I walked the slow way home ; I won 't say the scenic route because most of the routes round here are scenic if you like that kind of thing . I had plenty to think about , and it 's hard to concentrate under a barrage of questions and comments . Sometimes I think my mother just wants to kill the silence , but this evening she 'd have genuine questions . Like what had I seen last night ? I wasn 't sure myself . I 'd never meant to upset Jessica and maybe she knew that - why would I when her silent embrace in a deserted school corridor had been a marked contrast to everyone else 's reaction to my dad 's death ? A sergeant who knew Mr Dovedale had a quiet word and mentioned restraining orders , and I gave up on being her guardian angel . Until I couldn 't sleep one night . If she realised I 'd started watching her again , she never gave any sign . Sometimes she 'd seem to stare right at me before she closed the curtains , though I knew she couldn 't see me in the dark at that distance from a lit room . I 'd never watched from up a tree before the warning either ; she had no way of knowing I was there . Tuesday nights , Mr and Mrs Dovedale go out with friends and don 't get home till nearly one . I knew that , their neighbours knew that , half the town probably knew . If anyone wanted to pick a day for killing Jessica at home , Tuesday was a good start . Except that Tuesdays were also a good time for finding Neil Montgomery at the Dovedale residence . Neil Montgomery : rising solicitor , a few years older than Jessica and me , and a few tens of thousands richer . He drove a well - polished sports car , but never to Jessica 's , though he was easy enough to spot without it . He 'd been fooling around with her for a couple of years ; her parents turned a blind eye , thinking he 'd marry her when he was ready . More fool them . It sounds old - fashioned but this is an old - fashioned town ; they don 't like suicides like my dad and they don 't like unmarried mothers . They , whoever ' they ' are , probably hadn 't figured that one out yet , but I 'd seen Jessica side - on to her full - length mirror , trying to decide if it showed , a mixture of anxiety and excitement on her face . I never saw how Neil looked about it ; he always made sure the curtains were closed . I guess he had more to hide . Funny how it hadn 't jolted him towards a proposal , though . Neil Montgomery had been a cog in a wealthy wheel for a while , till he figured out that while the big city 's pleasant , there 's too much competition . In a small town you could make partner in a few years without even raising your blood pressure . Marry the right local girl and you could inherit the firm , or enough money that you didn 't mind being second - in - command . Jessica had the blonde hair and the curves , she just didn 't have the right Daddy . Last night I 'd been watching for a while when I drifted off . I wedge myself in the branches whenever I 'm up there , just in case . I 'm supposed to be watching over her - it 's the only way I know how to thank her for her understanding - but I never thought there was a serious threat . That 's what I 'd thought about my dad , too . In a way , it 's my fault Jessica 's dead , but I need to be careful who I say that to . When Stephen let himself in and closed the door behind him , clearly alone , Val let out a breath and realised how hard she 'd been gripping her mug . It didn 't look like he 'd been arrested yet , and the police weren 't with him , wanting to search the place . It could mean they just hadn 't got round to him yet - the city policemen looking into this wouldn 't know Stephen 's past without looking through files . Unless someone stepped in and told them . " There 's tea in the pot . " She watched him calmly pour himself a mug , but there was a frown on his face that she 'd seen earlier and she didn 't like the look of it . " Where have you been ? Have you heard any … Did you know about … " My mother was waiting in the kitchen : A tea - fuelled vigil for the murderous son . I could see the doubt in her eyes and it drove a needle right down into me . If my own mother wasn 't sure I hadn 't done it , my only hope was to prove that someone else had . I was pretty sure I could do that , as long as I had the time to work it all out . I 'd woken up in my tree last night at a sharp crack . I thought it was a twig snapping on the path , but when I looked down I couldn 't see any movement . Jessica 's lamp shone through her bedroom curtain as it had before I 'd dozed off . I 'd seen Neil leave around eleven , not quite sneaking round the side of the house and down the driveway , but not about to wave or blow kisses to Jessica as she stood in the kitchen doorway to watch him go . I checked my watch : It was after midnight . As I moved my head up again I caught movement , and my binoculars revealed a black - clad figure tiptoeing down the Dovedales ' garden toward the gap in the side fence . Even on tiptoe in the dark , that couldn 't be anyone but Neil . His height , build , the way he moved ; I had watched him often enough to recognise him at a distance . I hadn 't seen him as the type to do the Milk Tray Man act , but maybe I had misjudged him . That 's what I thought last night , and I might have been right , but only because I 'd never expected him to be capable of murder . Val sipped her tea and watched Stephen 's facial expression subtly shift from concentration to partial enlightenment to puzzlement and back again . She wished she knew what was going on in his head ; she also knew she could find out if she let him externalise his perpetual monologue but the thought of having to listen to all that was more than she could bear . And what if she heard things she didn 't want to ? Was she safer being able to honestly deny all knowledge of his whereabouts at the time of the attack ? He looked down at her again , over the mug grasped in both large hands . He was taller , broader and stronger even than his father had been . Certainly more than a match for Val , or even for the slightly taller Jessica . She didn 't know how Jessica had died , but the phrase ' brutal attack ' had been used , and that implied strength . So Stephen probably had the opportunity , he had the physical capability , in his unfathomable mind he might even have had a motive , and she was sure the police would find a plausible one . Did he have the inclination ? It occurred to me belatedly , as these things often do , that the sharp crack of a twig nearby could just as easily have been the breaking of a rim lock fifty yards away . The sound of a house being broken into after a crime had been committed . Neil hadn 't been dressed like a designer commando to deliver chocolates ; he 'd want to be seen to have done that , at least by Jessica . There was only one reason I could think of why he 'd be sneaking away last night . Val kept swallowing , unable to speak . She hadn 't got as far as making any reasonable plans for if the police should call . Now they were sitting at her kitchen table , one of them sipping politely from her best china , and she didn 't know what to do . " I don 't know what you mean . I 'm just stating facts . " But she wasn 't stating anything , she could hear the terror in her wavering voice . " She said mistaken but we all knew she meant lying . " The two policemen turned to Stephen , and Val covered her eyes with the hand that wasn 't supporting her against the table . She wasn 't sure she could hold tears in by force but if necessary she 'd try . " The cops were wearing her down but it was obvious to everyone she was spinning a yarn because she thought I needed an alibi . " " He 's not well ! He hasn 't been right since his father died , ask anyone . I … " Val 's coherence exploded into shards of sobs and squeaks and the young sergeant poured her some more tea . Wilson soon cottoned on and he didn 't interrupt again for a while . Everyone in town knew how I 'd felt about Jessica , even if they didn 't know why , but Neil was the only one who needed to misdirect the police . The inspector wouldn 't confirm he was their witness but I didn 't need him to : No - one had seen me in Jessica 's street because I hadn 't been there . I took him through the events of Tuesday night and he looked sceptical but not outright disbelieving . When I mentioned Jessica 's pregnancy the sergeant 's eyes went from bored to alert , so I guessed they 'd found that out medically and no - one else had mentioned it . Maybe her parents hadn 't realised . I didn 't have long to wait . While we 'd been talking , someone out on the riverbank had found a bundle of black clothing with blood on it . Expensive clothes , much too small for me . Rich , athletic Neil Montgomery 's size . Turned out to be not so rich , not so athletic Jessica Dovedale 's blood . I was never called as a witness ; Wilson didn 't want to complicate matters . Once they 'd found the clothes they could prove Neil had worn them . It didn 't take them long to figure out that no - one had opened the kitchen door after the lock had been broken , either ; Jessica 's parents always used the front . Neil might have been a good lawyer but he made a lousy criminal . As far as damaging his career went , I 'd say marrying Jessica or even leaving her to be a single mother wouldn 't have been as bad as being jailed for murder . Inspector Wilson came to see us a while later , and ' accidentally ' broke my binoculars as he was leaving . It didn 't bother me ; I wouldn 't be needing them anymore . Although I couldn 't have helped bring down Neil Montgomery without them , the police would have worked their way round to him eventually , and all my watching didn 't save Jessica Dovedale . JY Saville lives in the north of England and writes mainly short fiction , mainly in the genre loosely termed speculative , but has recently embarked on a parallel life of crime , the first result of which is here at Comets and Criminals . Her work has featured in , among others : Bards and Sages Quarterly ; Short , Fast and Deadly ; Boston Literary Magazine ; and The View From Here . In 2010 she released her first literary graphic novel , Boys Don 't Cry , and is working on further comic collaborations with the artist Mark Pexton . She blogs at thousandmonkeys . wordpress . com . Donate to C & C ( and its contributors ) Do you think a story , poem or illustration deserves extra monetary recognition ? Then why not consider a donation ? 60 % of anything donated will go to the author , artist or poet you nominate . We keep 40 % because , well , we 'd like to think we deserve a little something for bringing the story , poem or illustration to your attention . Remember , when donating , that if you 'd like 60 % of your donation to go to a particular magazine contributor you 'll need to let us know who they are . To do this , on the last step of donating , click on the plus next to ' Which contributor should this go to ? ' and type their name into the text box . If there 's no name there , we 'll assume you want the entire donation to go to us .
|
Dow $ 14000S and P ( $ 1500 ) NASDAQ ( $ 3300 and a comeback for Microsoft ) Unemployment ( 7 . 1 % ) Fiscal Cliff Will be solved before the Inauguration . Taxes and milk prices will go up for everybody . Middle East Gunfire but no war . Philadelphia Eagles New head coach , new quarterback , no playoffs . Life in General Higher interest rates , higher prices , life will be the same muddle but there will be some decent movies released this year . The hip people will leave Brooklyn , get married and move back to the Suburbs . Reality for January 1 , 2014 : Life in General : Higher interest rates , higher prices , same muddle , good movies . Hip people are still moving to Brooklyn and having babies . In other words , I did anticipate an increase in the market but it beat my expectations . For regular joes , not a great year but not a terrible year . Predictions for January 1 , 2015 : Obamacare : People will complain about it but it will live another year . Middle East : Gunfire but no war . Iran and U . S . better relations . Philadelphia Eagles will lose in NFC Championship game . A lackluster 2014 season . Vick will get traded and have a decent year in the AFC . Life in General : Slow improvement to economy . Democrats keep Senate , lose House . Philadelphia will become the next Brooklyn . Bridgegate will still be in the news . In the economy , it will be an okay year . Baby boomers will finally start retiring , helped by rising housing prices and the stock market . This will open up some jobs for the Millennials . For lovers of liberty and good music across the globe , the big news this holiday season is that Pussy Riot is now free . The band that represents the new generations 's music , idealism , and gumption is now free again to perform and enlighten us all with their thought provoking music . Looking forward to seeing them at the opening of the upcoming Olympics . One of the great pleasures of middle age is having kids who are normally miles away turn up for the holidays . Unfortunately , for the college and post college children , the expectations are different . The kids want to visit with their friends , go to a casino , do some post Christmas shopping and have Mom and Dad take them out to a few good restaurants . The parents are also supposed to give them some cash for the next year . Oftentimes parents have a different opinion on the matter . Parents want some help around the house , someone to wax the wooden floors and changed the tires for Dad . They also want to show off the kids for the relatives and spend good family time with their grown offspring . Christmas Eve is often the first hurdle . The kids were planning on hitting the bars with their friends on Christmas Eve while Mom was hoping for good quality time decorating the tree . Another expectation is that now , with the kids relaxed , parents can do a little harmless prying and see what the kids are really up to . Daughters , after a few molito 's , will tell Mom all the ins and outs of the new cute boyfriend they have been seeing . Daughters are often more revealing to their Mothers , although Mothers may sometimes wonder how their daughters maintain all these sex free relationships . She does watch daytime TV after all . Recently a friend asked me for advice in writing a Christmas letter . Truth to be told , a really effective author should have successful children and take exotic vacations . One should plan one 's life in young adulthood with the goal of one day being able to write a Christmas letter . A well written letter goes . . . Well , here it is , another year . Back from Hawaii we opened up the shutters and saw snow falling outside of the boathouse and decided to share with you the joys of the year . Calvin is a partner now in the firm of Menagerie and Finch and now has three children warming the cradle . His lovely wife Anna is now in her third year of grad school at Villanova and is working on her dissertation on plant molecular isotopes . Cathy is back from her stint in Africa at the Oprah school . She hopes to get her degree in obstetrics this year from NYU . Her husband is now an assistant producer on CNN and got to visit her in Africa . Jane is an intern in Washington . We hope the Senator gives here a good recommendation because she is planning to go to the Kennedy School of Public Affairs this spring . . . . . . . . Another year and another Christmas season . I don 't get out much these days . Occasionally an old friend dies and I get to go to a wake , but that is about it . The repairman said my washing machine is too far along to be fixed , so I should get used to the noise it makes and plan on buying a new one when it finally peters out . I am up to four prescriptions now , the pharmacy will give me a free colonoscopy if I sign up for a fifth . Feeling I might be lonely this holiday , my friend is lending me her fish , Ulysses , for keeping this holiday till she gets back from Tahiti . She promised it won 't be too much trouble as long as I keep my finger out of the bowl . I had some nice plants but the flowers all fell off and probably won 't come back til Spring . Except for the Christmas cactus that is blooming now . . . . . One term I keep hearing this December is " ugly Christmas sweaters " . As far as I can remember someone , usually female , has shown up at work or at a holiday party wearing one of those things . Now , I have been told , they are suddenly hip . In the Macon Georgia Baptist Woman 's League they have Ugly Christmas Sweater parties . Do they really have them in artsy hangouts in Brooklyn ? Personally I think that if you came to an actual hipster party wearing one of those you would be scorned upon . Probably they were hip last year but not now . Editor 's note : I finally have an ugly Christmas sweater , well at least an ugly Christmas vest . There is a nice piece on the genre on Slate . 12 / 12 / 14 I notice Christmas came real early this year . Once Halloween was over , the Santa 's and decorations came up in the stores . This weekend are the big Christmas parties and the tv stations are full of Christmas fare . I guess by December 15 it will all be over . By late December Christmas will be replaced by Valentine 's Day decorations . Last night I came home from the bar ( sounds so much better than I came home from work ) and there , on my front doorstep , was a package from Texas . Since my birthday is coming up I figured it must be related to that event . I have always greeted packages from distant relatives with some trepidation because they don 't really know what I need or my taste in things . For years I was punished with boxes of Hickory Farms meats for a remark I made to my brother many years before . I was simply passing along the comment Mother had made that Hickory Farms was bad for her blood pressure and after that he sent me Hickory Farms packages in the mail every year . Now with my brother in the great engineering conference in Heaven , I have received some of his old albums . I guess I am the only one in the family who still can play those things . Some of them are not bad . I haven 't heard " Cassius Love vs . Sonny Wilson " in forty years since I played my brother 's copy of Shut Down Volume 2 when he was home from college . You do wonder though about other people 's taste . Why Ian an Sylvia ? The From Russian with Love soundtrack ? 18 Yellow Roses by Bobby Darin ? What was he thinking ? Still I now have Peter Paul and Mary 's Greatest hits and some classical things . You can tell by the amount of scratches in a record whether it was played or not . You can 't say that about cd 's . Now that it 's almost December , it 's time to sit around , crank up the old turntable , and play albums . I attempt to grow something edible on my porch every summer and one of the unwelcome side effects of this hobby is that come fall , one of the tomato bugs always manages to sneak into the condo . When I first see my new roommate , I am always a bit startled , but I have learned to accept having a fall companion for a few weeks . The insect seems to like some tv shows more than others . I know he always seems to appear when I am watching Turner Classic Movies . As the days get colder he becomes slower and slower in his movements . Still , this year he did not die of natural causes . I guess I am not what you would call a morning person and he got me at the wrong time . I was in a hurry to get ready for work and was bolting down my coffee when I spotted him on my kitchen chair . I marched over to the bathroom and got some Green Works Natural bathroom cleaner and sprayed it on his backside . The following Saturday I swept him up when I was cleaning the kitchen floor . He caught me when I was in a bad mood . Just goes to show you can 't trust people . Yesterday I ate the best apple I have eaten in twenty years . It was a Winesap apple that I bought at the Capital City Farmer 's Market in beautiful downtown Trenton . Hard , crisp , a little sour . How about them apples . It made me a little nostalgic for when the family would take its annual jaunt up to Tice Farms . We would get into the Ford , and drive through Upper Saddle River while Mother would gawk at all the houses she couldn 't afford to live in . Then we 'd get to Tice Farms . I remember you could buy a cup for a dime and drink all the cider you wanted . Some years me and my brother would share a cup , which was frowned upon . Then the old man would buy Winesap and Macintosh apples , more cider and maybe a pumpkin . Just reading Amy Poehler 's article in the New Yorker on her summer job . Cute . It reminded me of my summer job . I got a job with the Board of Ed . I had the lowly job , that first summer , of scraping gum out of desks . It sucked , but the pay wasn 't that bad ( $ 2 . 50 an hour ) . It took a political connection to get me the job . For years a man we will call Dick lived behind us in Hackensack . He liked to cut through my parent 's driveway on the way to O ' Neals tavern and he often stopped by and visited with dear old Dad . Years later my father admitted he never cared much for Dick but he put up with him for the sake of my summer job . The things my father did for his children . 7 : 30 AM was starting time . That was the most painful part of the job I think . I was assigned to the high school , the same place from which I had just graduated . When I arrived , they looked my skinny frame up and down . I would not be helping carry sheet rock for the construction crew . I would not be carrying the boards to repair the seats in the football field . I was assigned to the janitresses ( lady custodians ) , given a putty knife , and told that my job was to scrape gum out of the bottom of desks for all the desks in the school . One of the teachers recognized me and wanted to hijack me . He wanted me to take his car for inspection . He was told where to get off . I got along with the janitresses . I didn 't fib on them when they snuck into the girls rooms for smokes . I kept to myself and my gum . I scraped a lot of gum out of desks that summer . The last two weeks I got to clean desks , and as a reward , go to help put the liquid finish on them . By Labor Day the desks were ready for a new group of scholars . And I was ready for college . In the Senatorial debates , Lonegan talked about how he , unlike Cory Booker , worked when he went to college . I guess I can run for Senate , if that is the requirement . Posted by Right now they are fighting the Second Civil War in Washington . The Republicans , led by the Tea Party , want to get rid of Obamacare and are willing to shut down the federal government to do it . Later in October they will try to block the debt ceiling so no American debts will be paid . They claim they want America to remain free while others want health insurance , food stamps , student aid , and other things a man should provide for himself . I do get a taste of life without government on the way to work every morning . Since Trenton can 't afford police cars to monitor traffic , you do have a sense of freedom driving to work . You can drive whatever speed you like and go through red lights if that is your wish . What a burst of euphoria that creates . Of course you can see a country where people plunder farms to eat and where justice comes at the hand of a gun . Free men , armed , walking around the streets , safe because of their skills with firearms . Churches happily feeding the poor . Doctors joyfully treating those with no money , like they did a hundred years ago . Oh to go back to those wonderful good olde days . Posted by Thanks to Netflix , I have now season 2 of Girls . The seasons are only ten shows long , but that 's modern TV I suppose . Some of you may remember when I reviewed Season 1 . Season 2 is actually quite good . In an unexpected shift , the men , at least some of them , seem to have matured into real characters , while the women have shown themselves to be needy and problematic . I would definitely say this was the season of the men . Ever since watching last season my self esteem has suffered . I have always defined life through television situation comedies and most of them lately seem to show men as being either weak or as assholes . Today , according to Girls , it 's okay to be a man again . I feel so much better about myself now . Traditionally , in old movies , the solution to the problem of what do single girls do when they get to New York has always been solved by marriage to well heeled men . Ginger Rogers lived in a crappy room for most of the movie but married Prince Charming in the end . Such conclusions were played with in Season 2 . All of the leads in one way or another got involved with older , richer men and seemed happy for a while but things fell through in the end . In classic movieland they would have married and lived happily ever after . It would be funny if in the series finale , Girls ends with marriage to men with good careers , suburbs , and babies . Similar in subject matter to Jonathon Franzen 's Freedom but gentler and more fun , the Interestings is a book that describes a generation of privileged youngsters , slightly post boomer but pre Generation x that came of age in the 70 's . It begins in a garden of Eden like summer camp and ends with the problems of middle age . It 's a journey of forty years for a group of people who go through bohemianism , yuppie - ism , comparative poverty , parenthood , cult religion , mental illness , disabled sons , and disease . Sort of like us , but more privileged . They lived in Manhattan while we lived in Hoboken and Denver . They had wealthy , hip parents who sent them to the artsy Camp in the Woods while we went to Boy Scout Camp . I can 't imagine my parents sending me to the Camp in the Woods . As a friend once said about Thirty Something , " it 's sort of true to life but the women are better looking . " So many of us tried to join the interesting crowd when we were young and this is how one lady managed to get into and thrive amongst the interestings . This may well be the novel that people in centuries to come will use to teach students in Twentieth Century Culture about the lives of a certain class and generation of young , now middle aged Caucasians . Wonder what the movie will be like . Editor 's note : When this blogger has nothing else to say , he may occasionally do a book review . We 'll see how it goes . Posted by Yes , Sunday night , Miss America is back in dear old Atlantic City . I have many memories of watching this show on the old Philco as a kid . The different competitions were fascinating . We all had our favorites . My mother was always loyal to the girls from the South . " You know , Southern girls are prettier than those Northern girls . " The judges must have agreed with her . I still remember the commercials where you got to see the contestants putting on Noxzema cold cream as they prepared . And at the end , the whole family would bawl as the lucky girl walked down the aisle with Bert Parr singing that same old song . It was one of the few times I saw my father cry . Now the major story is that one of the contestants has a tattoo . I know the younger generation love their tattoos . Mother would not have approved . Posted by A few years ago I got an email and was asked to join Linkedin . I was flattered , thinking that now I was being invited to join an in group . Parties at the Hamptons , gallery openings in Dumbo , dinners on Nassau Street soon would be coming my way . I was in Linkedin . Well , not surprisingly , none of that happened . Today , however , I get almost daily updates from friends , former co - workers , people I met once at long ago library conferences . They endorse me for my many skills . Sometimes I wonder how they know I 'm any good at what I do . One conversation over a danish in 1994 and they can definitely say I am excellent at collection development . I also get important information . John Belosconi is now connected to Shirley Winkowski , the marketing manager of a small firm in Austin . So . What do I care ? Perhaps old John is having an extra marital affair . Maybe that 's what brings him to Austin . I get it ! people are active in Linkedin because they are job hunting . Perhaps they want me to endorse them on their many skills . I was meandering around Linkedin yesterday and was presented with photographs of friends , old girl friends , a former boss , someone I met at a meeting ( I think I thought she was cute ) . Is such and such knowledgeable in Wordpress ? Is such and such an expert in data marketing analysis ? It must be easy to find help nowadays . You just look up the candidates Linkedin account and find out what skills they possess and immediately hire the person with the most endorsements . When our mothers leave us they leave with a trove of family stories and gossip . They also make it hard to follow the trials and tribulations of one 's extended family . While your mother is alive and able to use the telephone , male relatives are able to keep up with things through their mothers . Your cousin is getting a divorce . Your cousin tells his mother . His mother tells your mother and she tells you . Your cousin got a DWI . Your cousin tells his mother . His mother tells your mother and she tells you . Your niece dropped out of Bucknell . She tells her mother . Your sister - in law tells your mother and she tells you . Your cousin lost his job . He had to borrow money from your uncle . Your uncle told your aunt , she told your mother and your mother told you . One good thing about family gossip is that it often shows your parents how lucky they are to have you rather than the flotsam and jetsam of the extended family . However it is hard to keep up on things when mother passes away . Of course there 's always Facebook . Unfortunately , Facebook posts tend to dwell on accomplishments , cute pictures of the kids and vacations . A keen eye may note a missing husband from vacation pictures , but mothers are a better source of what your cousins were really up to . I seems there has been assault lately on that emblem of summer and good times , the flip flop . Just last week I was getting ready for work . I put on my Hawaii shorts , my monkey t shirt and my flip flops . At work there was a memo on my desk . It read " Shorts , flip - flops , beach shoes , strapless tops and other clothing are not appropriate for the workplace . " It was a huge surprise for me to find this startling announcement . The poor flip flop was no longer the accepted footwear for work . Flip flops bring back many summer memories . My mother bought them at Modell 's and all summer I would wear them everywhere . At college they went on as soon as the snow was off the sidewalk . At work they went on the day after Easter and stayed on until Columbus Day . Now I have to wear regular shoes again . I wonder why they are called flip flops ? As promised , here is the motorcycle story . I was driving on Route 17 in New York on an uneventful morning when I say a herd of police cars . They were directing all the traffic to the left lane . On the right lane , there was a parade , two abreast , of motorcycles . They were men , women , young , old , I even saw Santa at one point . I started to pass them and over the next half hour I must have past two thousand motorcycles . At the head of the pack was a state police car , keeping them in line and under the speed limit . There are two worlds that a man is likely to encounter in life . There is the dark bizarre world of bachelorhood . A world of dank bars , movie houses , travel , museums , bachelorettes and take - out Chinese food . Then there is the main stream world of marriage , kids , family and two story colonials . Work is one of those places where these two worlds intersect . So that is why I am browsing the Baby 's R Us baby registry of a co - worker who has a cake in the oven . I guess there was the off chance that the $ 25 for the baby shower / luncheon / gift was insufficient to show one 's affection for lady x so the memo also included a link to her baby registry . Her boss is also expecting , as much as a man can be expecting , and his baby registry is also featured . Personally I think it 's un - manly to distribute a man 's baby registry at work but that is a theme for another day . The baby registry is fascinating . Until yesterday I never knew such things existed . Now I get to experience first hand the pleasures of birth , albeit vicariously . How neet ! A giraffe teether ! A daisy decorated changing table ! Baby bouncers ! Who knew such things existed ! Well , time to put the dim sum in the microwave . Although a lot can be said for rail , air and even bus travel , there 's nothing like an old fashioned car trip to see the real America . On the road you get to fill up your own tank , pass large trucks on the highway , stay in cheasy motels and re learn your vending machine skills , in case you have forgotten them . You also get familiar with ice buckets and motel ice vending machines . Traveling with the family as a kid I was told to fill up the family cooler with the hotel ice machine . I also got to swim in motel swimming pools with motel towels . We never stole towels , just overused our ice privileges . Instead of eating at Howard Johnsons on the road , we ate sandwiches that Mother made and Dad was allowed a can of beer . We consumed our meals at those rest stops on wooden picnic tables . As an adult I have thrown caution to the wind and become an aficionado of travel courts . What great places . My last trip an old man was traipsing up to the entrance rolling an oxygen tank . A travel court comedian yelled , " Don 't worry , I left my iron lung in the car ! " I met a Cub Scout pack that was selling coffee from a stand . They were impressed when I told them I once was part of Pack 19 in New Jersey . And of course there are those bargain motel books . I leafed through one last weekend and selected an Econolodge with $ 59 a night coupon . Sometimes I wonder if they add $ 5 to the price when someone walks into the lobby with one of those books . Of course there are always the signs on the road . One read " take off your sunglasses " which I dutifully did and soon I was driving through a tunnel under part of the Pocono Mountains . After leaving another tunnel I saw a sign that said " are your lights on ? " and mine were . I put on my sunglasses too , although nobody told me too . I also passed a caravan of two thousand motorcycles . That was fun . Details in a future blog . Happy Summer ! One of my favorite political movies is Charley Wilson 's War . It shows how a minor Texas Congressman took up the mantle of involving America in Afghanistan 's war with Russia in the 90 's . John McCain now has his own cause , his own war , and in history he will be remembered as the one person who fought Washington to get America to fight for Syria . It looks like thirteen year old girls will soon be able to buy a morning after pill . No prescription needed . It may be expensive though . Perhaps the guy can chip in . Well if you 're going to legalize it you might as well go all the way . One of my pet peeves is the fact that the people at the check out lines in supermarkets rarely can identify fruits and vegetables . Yesterday a young man asked me if I was buying peaches or nectarines . I looked at one , it sort of looked like a peach so I said " peaches " . Later that night I went onto the Internet and found out that what I bought , having no fuzz at all , was a nectarine , not a peach . I checked the flyer for the supermercado and found out that , in fact , nectarines were $ 1 . 99 a pound and peaches were only $ 1 . 49 a pound . I had cheated at the market . I wonder if there is a place in Dante 's Inferno for people who misidentify fruits at the store . No , they are probably in Purgatorio . Posted by Europe before World War 2 and the influence of Americanization was a halcyon time . A man didn 't have to listen to his wife for orders . He got his marching orders from his mother . His wife was content to stay at home , taking care of the children , and cooking family recipes , sewing curtains and otherwise maintaining traditions . The streets were full of small shops where you could visit and get the local news while buying your baguette . Then Americanization came . Chain stores took over from the small shops . Women wanted to become Americans and work . Children stopped behaving and modeled themselves on Rusty Hammer in Make Room for Daddy . Coca - Cola . MacDonald 's . Disney . Sky television . Shopping malls replacing the local markets . Today in America , among the hip set , there is a desire to become more like an idealized Europe . We see farmers markets , craft fares , cooking classes , and even cute old world olive and cheese stores in the better districts of our cities . But Americanization continues as the croissant is being bastardized as the cronut . I wonder when they 'll start eating cronuts in Marseilles . One of the problems millennials have in the workplace is that since , by and large , they have been raised by permissive parents , they are forced to learn late in life how to " sneak around " . For example , take the adolescent home from college in the 70 's . He is sitting in the good chair in the living room and drinking Dad 's good Scotch . He sees Dad 's car drive into the driveway . Now he knows it 's a good thing to put the liquor away and tidy things up a bit . As young adults babyboomers learned not to enjoy that joint when we noticed the landlord 's car is in the parking lot . As workers we learned not to carry on flirtatious calls with our lady friends when the director is in the room . We know we don 't eat hot dogs and beer the night before a blood test . These are things baby boomers know that millennials have to learn in their twenties . Millennials also have to learn how to look busy . Taking advantage of a boss who arrives at work late is also something we baby boomers have learned . It allows us to water the plants at home , have another cup of coffee , clean up those plates and still get to work before the boss . Then we scurry around and create the impression that we have been at our desks for half an hour when the boss strolls through the door , late as usual . May the wind be always at your back and may you have a boss who arrives after you do . We 've gotten used to television , video games , computers , i pods , smart phones and even tablets . But now they 've gone too far . Nobody over fifty is going to buy a Google glass . Millennials , yes , but not us baby boomers . They 've gone too far . I 'd feel silly walking around with those things . I feel silly with ear buds . Some of us have our dignity . It may be hard to believe , but I was never the most fun person to be around in the morning . My mother worked until 11PM at the hospital and woke up the next morning to her two grumpy children needing breakfast and to go to school . I would sit there staring at dry cold cereal and it was then that I was treated to Mother 's stories of growing up in East Texas during the depression . Once she surprised me when she told me , " You know , when I was a little girl I had a friend up the street and she had this old woman living with her family who had been a slave . " Then there were the stories of nursing school . Apparently they had some wild times in nursing school . Once they tried to call Eleanor Roosevelt on the phone . The next day the girls were visited by someone from the Secret Service . They drank bottles of Coke in the morning , trying to beef up for a long day at Charity Hospital . Charity Hospital was in Shreveport and didn 't have air conditioning in those days . Of course making fun of Papa 's family also came with the orange juice and frosted flakes . As an eight years old I knew what were the natural color 's of all of my aunt 's hair . So here 's to all the mothers out their with their testy charges . Enjoy your presents . Posted by What a great commercial . I 've yet to see it on the tv but it 's on Youtube . Now I know why I don 't have a dog . You should get a haircut every three weeks . That way you always look neatly shorn and nobody knows when you 've gotten a haircut . I get a haircut three times a year . It 's great because I go from a short haircut to looking like the drummer for Mott the Hoople . Then it 's suddenly , unexpectedly back to a short haircut . Suddenly , I 'm Dobie Gillis . It 's a minor holiday at work . Wow ! Mr . Mustache got a haircut ! After a few days , the excitement wears down and my haircut looks normal . I go to an old fashioned barbershop . There 's a barber pole , an all male staff . All male customers . Men talk about sports , their kids and their cars . Once a woman told me that men go to barbershops to discuss how many women they have slept with . Sorry , women are usually not discussed in barbershops , unless they 're in the hospital . It 's a good thing I travel so I have things to talk about at the barber shop . Baby boomers have progressed since the sixties . In the sixties we grew our hair long , discovered fm radio , pot , and war demonstrations . In the 70 's we discovered yoga , hiking , and Saturday Night Live . In the 80 's we moved from hippy to yuppie . We married , gentrified neighborhoods , and traveled the world in search of Hard Rock Cafes . The 90 's and 00 's we raised children . A little grayer , we were long on childhood gratification and short on discipline . In the teens now we have discovered TED talks . TED talks represent the baby boomers aspirations today as we start thinking seriously of our lives , our world , and our retirements . TED , film festivals , Atovoristan and podcasts . It 's great being a baby boomer . In case you may be a little behind , here is the link to TED . They are also on public radio on weekends . I always say that I travel so that I have things to talk about at parties . People with kids can stay home , because they can always talk about their kids . Childless people need to travel . Here are ten things I learned on my trip to Ireland . 1 ) There 's nothing like a nice Irish breakfast . They serve them in bars and the white pudding ( looks like a meat patty but is grey ) is edible . The black pudding ( a black patty ) is definitely an acquired taste . 2 ) Ireland wants to be seen as a cosmopolitan nation and for that reason tries to give the impression that it is bilingual . All the signs , railroad recordings , bus tickets , etc . are written in Irish and English . There is even a tv stations that broadcasts in Irish . I never heard anyone speaking in Irish . America speaks English and Spanish , Canada English and French , Ireland wants to be seen as speaking English and Irish . 3 ) Irish bars are like traditional American bars except the beer taps are larger , they serve breakfast , and sometimes they have live traditional music at night . The beer sits a minute before the landlord gives it to the customer . They have the tv going during the day so it 's difficult for tourists to eavesdrop . At night at local places , patrons really do burst into song . 4 ) The best food in Dublin is Thai and Middle eastern . Had a nice falafael there . 9 ) Ireland raises a lot of sheep with a few goats and cattle thrown in . Irish sweaters are expensive . I bought a cute pair of Irish made socks . 10 ) Irish women go into comic voices when telling a story . Editor 's note : Temple Bar in Dublin . Home of the backpack and guitar set . Since the Supreme Court decision of 1962 , school prayer has been banned in American schools . Thinking back to my childhood and those happy days at Fanny Hillers School , I can remember when we said the Lord 's Prayer at the start of the school day . I remember it was the one time of the day when the three religions represented in the classroom , the Jewish , Catholic , and Protestant religions attacked the prayer differently , much to the consternation of the teachers . When we said the Lord 's prayer , the five Jewish kids had to keep silent . As a Catholic I was obliged to say the Lord 's prayer up to the last sentence then stay silent for the most poetic part of the prayer , " for thine is the kingdom , the power and the glory forever " but could join in for the Amen at the end . Vatican II allowed for this extension to the Lord 's prayer , but by that time it was banned in schools anyway . Looking back it must have seemed strange for half the voices to be cut out at the last sentence . Just went onto the David Bowie website to find out about his new album . The album in CD costs $ 11 but if you want it in vinyl it 's $ 26 . Now back in the 90 's I was told I should get rid of my albums and replace them with CD 's . I was told the sound was so much better that soon all vinyl albums would be obsolete . Who would have thunk it . Now people are paying double to get the same songs in vinyl . If only I had kept my bell bottom blue jeans . This story caught my eye today . It took place in Leeds , in the U . K . Most of us know the town from the Who Live at Leeds album . Well they have a new shopping mall and this is a story with a video from opening day . Most of us have been following the brouhaha concerning the CEO of Yahoo , Marissa Mayer , and her edict that all the staff of Yahoo have to show up for work everyday . In the flesh . No more goofing off in your undies and logging unto the Internet in your kitchen . Being a woman and a mother , she is twice scolded for being against women working in a way amenable to handling family responsibilities . Now , even the Times has chimed in on the controversy . In a previous job I worked from home , albeit without pay , just as a way to keep up with the things I couldn 't fit in at work . To many of us , however , working at home perhaps seems more like the above picture . Here the babies are typing in the documents with Mom . Perhaps this picture is not as efficient as it could be in a time work continuum . We are presented by Ms . Mayer an ideal of workers networking on tasks and coming up with creative ideas as they hang out in the coffee break room . My experience is that more bellyaching and gossiping takes place in such environments than light bulbs going off on top of people 's heads , but perhaps that is just my own , largely civil service experience . If I was a betting man I would say more and more people are going to continue to work at home in the workplace . March is the ordinary month . The temperatures are higher than February but it 's still windy and the trees are still bare . There are no legal holidays normally , except this year Easter is early so that makes Good Friday a holiday , at least in some states . March sort of is the month of continuations . Yes spring technically starts in March , but in reality spring comes in stages , and then there is Saint Patrick 's Day , which can be fun but for non Irishmen is no big deal . One nice thing about March is , if you want to take a chance on the weather , it 's a good time to travel . Sure everything isn 't open in most tourist areas but the prices are lower , the kids are in school , and you get to see the locals living life as life is really lived , before the streets are cluttered with tourists with cameras . When I worked in a public library I always took my vacations in March partly because that is tax season , The past week I have noticed an influx of Microsoft Surface commercials on the tv . Everything we thought about Microsoft is now wrong , apparently . No longer the the realm of men who wear pocket protectors while using DOS , now it is attempting to appeal to young hip types . I don 't know if it is working or not . Ever since it went on the air , the ( hipster ) media has been awash with stories about Girls . Being too cheap to get HBO I have become more and more curious about the show that has supposedly changed modern television . Recently I noticed it was on Netflix , so I got to view the first season of the show . Girls is loosely based on Sex in the City , except the women are younger and don 't have their careers together like they did on SITC . The show is of interest to baby boomers , methinks , who have fond memories of their early twenties ( living at home and selling hot dogs at Two Guys ? ) Well , at least we are curious to see how things have changed . In some ways things are similar ( nobody had any money in the late 70 's and life after college sucked ) except there seems to be more sex going on nowadays . Girls shows what it is like for women who don 't have to live at home and live in an exciting if grungy place . The show centers around the trials and tribulations of Hannah . The main revolutionary thing I can see about the show is that it has a female star who isn 't pretty . Ugly Betty wasn 't pretty , either , but that 's another story . Not wanting to be too revolutionary , the show has three comely co - stars . The other women are interesting , intelligent , but tend to have drippy boyfriends . I guess shows that are aimed at women audiences , ( Parenthood comes to mind ) tend to have strong women and pathetic male leads . Maybe this is how the world really is or maybe it is a female fantasy to live where all the women are strong and the men are good looking . We have all gone to those reorganization meetings where the managers talk about change and how we all are going to have new job titles and responsibilities . We are quoted from people like Woodrow Wilson who said " If you want to make enemies , try to change something . " At the meeting everyone is smiling and cooperative , but in the break room the grumbling begins . Catherine 's Career corner has a nice piece on why workers resist change . Spoiler alert : If you supervise more than five people , please close the blog now . The rest of this blog is not for your eyes . The workplace is , for most of us , a series of negotiated advantages and disadvantages that are developed over the years that changes and realignments can eliminate . Say for example , Sally always comes in fifteen minutes late and so Cathy has to open the safe every morning . In return Cathy gets Christmas week and the day after Thanksgiving off . If Cathy is transferred there will be no one to open the safe . Perhaps after repeated attempts to show Al the new computer program he still doesn 't get it . He is quietly moved to a different task where that can be hidden . Change can expose Al 's deficiencies . Lucy distrusts Mary . This can be traced to the fact that Lucy remarried and still takes Communion on Sunday mornings . Mary hides this knowledge in her pew . The new reorganization will cause the two to work together on the same shift . In other words , change can upset the applecart . Higher ups often are not aware of how delicately apple carts are assembled in a workplace and should tread lightly when bringing about change . Posted by This book that has been getting some publicity lately . An idle moment of nothing much to do led me to download it onto my Kindle . Not a bad book , really . We get to go through the authors ' Grateful Dead phase , her college in Bennington Vermont phase , her Ireland phase , as well as her various meanders through the bars of greater New York . An occasional habitue of bars myself , I can see that see has discovered those bars where people talk about the arts . I have rarely gone to a bar where people talk about anything intellectual or artistic , save perhaps when I went to Zach 's in Denver . However the author , no matter how many flannel shirts she may wear , is clearly from a higher caste than most of us . To get to hang it in a bar in Bennington , you first have to pay the tuition at Bennington . Drinking Jameson 's in Manhattan requires resources beyond the jobs she describes . The worst part of the book is that , if it 's a hit , it will ruin a number of bars . Bars that are undiscovered and have reasonable prices and available stools will suddenly be places that are hard to get into , full of tourists that have read the book . I guess that 's the price of success . Try getting into MacSorley 's on a Saturday night nowadays . Yes it was cold this morning . Maybe 15 degrees when I left the house . These here folks on the radio want to scare us with that wind chill nonsense . Yes it was negative 5 degrees with the wind chill factor . Good healthy January weather . Nothing to get excited about . I drove by a school on the way to work and the streets were loaded with cars . Mommy driving their poor charges to school . Too cold for the poor lambs to walk a few blocks in honest January weather . Balderdash . Last week a new word was introduced to my vocabulary . Mali . The first new entity in the news of 2013 that did not exist for most of us in 2013 . It seems that after a coup or two , France has invaded Mali , a former colony , to drive out Islamist terrorists . Then they got mad and took over a natural gas site in Algeria . Then there was a botched rescue attempt . Somehow all the trouble started when Quadafi gave guns to men to fight for him . Now the guns are in Mali . Time for us to bone up on Algeria . The one thing I remember is seeing the Battle of Algiers in college . I think the French lost that one . We can 't let the French carry all the water . This is a fight for freedom and America has interests in keeping the gold and natural gas out of the hands of Al - Qaida . Time has come for us to have a good fight in Mali . Love of freedom means troops in Mali . We are mice ! Let the French do it . It 's their turn . We don 't get any energy from that region . We have our own natural gas . America doesn 't want to add Mali to a list of failed American ventures fighting terrorism . This whole thing could turn out badly . Posted by Two weeks ago I was coming down with a bad cold ( or perhaps a weak flu ) and I passed it along to someone I know . She got sick . The next day I emailed her sister and then she got a cold . My question is , if you communicate with someone online can you give them a cold ? Can Facebook transmit viruses ? Skype ? This year for the first time I watched ( well grazed through ) the Golden Globes Awards . I have heard the name but always ignored it since I always thought it was kind of a dumb idea . After tons of advertising for Tina and Amy , this year I tuned in . Not as serious as the Oscars , it is sort of schocky and has an inside Hollywood feel . You get to watch actual stars drinking and eating . Sort of fun . I Especially liked the bit where Tina and Amy drank cocktails on the stage . I also like Tina Fey appearing unexpectedly in weird teeth or costumes . They wouldn 't do that at the Oscars . I did watch Jodie Foster . Thought it went on way too long and I suspect I wouldn 't care for her if she was my boss . Still , it was the Golden Globes . For a certain socioeconomic type , over 40 , college educated , upper middle class or so apiring , today is the first over hyped event of the year . It is the return of Downton Abbey . Will Mary marry Mathew ? Will John Bates get out of jail ? Does Daisy 's new found in law have designs on the poor lass ? Will Shirley MacLaine turn out to be a b - - ch ? The dirty truth is that people love watching the show because it allows them to enjoy a soap opera and at the same time impress people with their ascetic tastes . " Oh I love Masterpiece Theatre " one can say at work and seem cultured and refined . Sort of like rhapsodizing on Tschaikovsky or eating Nutella and telling everyone it 's a health food . Or watching Les Miserables and talking about how one loves French literature . Editor 's note : When I was going to college my father mentioned a family friend who loved Tschaikovsky and I told him that people who know nothing about classical music listen to Tschaikovsky to impress people and that true music patrons ignore him . At that moment my father smiled , knowing that every penny of my college education had been well spent . Posted by A friend wrote me that she gets depressed this time of year . She hates taking down the tree and putting the ornaments back in boxes . Most of all she hates putting her life sized Santa Claus back in the garage . I was so moved I wrote this poem : The one time I went to Times Square for New Year 's Eve we got there about 10 : 30 PM after taking the 165 bus from Hackensack . There were no barricades , no walking restrictions . You had to be careful about pick pockets . Everybody , including the police , had glass bottles filled with liquor in their pockets . There was no live music , just the stinking ball . We managed to get back to the Port Authority by 1 and went back to New Jersey . Mom and Dad never knew about the expedition . Who remembers when Guy Lombardo ringed in the new year ? Still want more after reading the F . A . Q . s ? We 've got everything you need to know about the Ball Drop and all the festivities leading up to the big night . More >> Location The New York Police Department will begin closing down access to Times Square starting at 43rd Street and Broadway and moving north as revelers arrive . The exact times that these blocks close to pedestrian and vehicular traffic will depend on when the revelers begin arriving . It is likely that there will be no vehicular traffic on either Broadway or Seventh Avenue as of approximately 3 : 00 p . m . Vehicles will most likely have difficulty traveling across town after 6 : 00 p . m . above 42nd Street as far north as 59th Street . If you are planning to come to Times Square and join in the festivities , you are advised to enter from Sixth or Eighth Avenue . Your chance of getting a viewing spot near the Ball ( at Broadway & 43rd Street ) increases the earlier you arrive . The blocks will be closed off as they fill up northward , street - by - street , as the police deem necessary . Yes . The police will set aside a viewing area for the disabled , located on the northwest corner of 44th Street . However , this area will fill up quickly , and it is advised that disabled visitors arrive early in the day . For a listing of the access points from which you can enter Times Square , please click here . The earlier you arrive , the better your view and the closer you will be to the action . The sound system is set up in the Bowtie area ( where Broadway and Seventh Avenue cross ) , and the video screens on One Times Square ( where the Ball is lowered ) are easily visible . There are additional screens set up at Broadway and 50th Street , Broadway and 52nd Street , Broadway and 54th Street and Broadway and 58th Street . The best way to come to Times Square is via public transportation . To get to Times Square , the # 1 , 2 , 3 , 7 , A , B , C , D , E , F , N , Q , R , W , V and S shuttle trains all service the Times Square area . Please note that the MTA has advised revelers not to use the 42nd Street Subway Station on New Year 's Eve due to crowding conditions - you are advised to exit at one of the surrounding stations and enter Times Square on foot . It is expected that the MTA will keep all subway stations open on New Year 's Eve . Some entrances and exits may be closed as crowd conditions require . After 7 p . m . on December 31st , the N and R train station at 49th Street and Seventh Avenue may be closed until after midnight . Trains may also bypass some stations , depending on how the crowds build . For further information nearer the date of the event , please call or visit the MTA at ( 718 ) 330 - 1234 or www . mta . info . Revelers begin to gather in the late afternoon on New Year 's Eve , December 31st . The best advice we can give is to get there as early as possible . We cannot predict how quickly the viewing areas will fill up . Prime viewing areas may fill up early in the afternoon . Here is the timeline for LAST YEAR ' S street closures and viewing areas and are subject to change without notice . We will update as more information is release by the NYPD . This information may be helpful for planning your trip to this year 's event : No . There are no portable restrooms in Times Square during the celebration . The Times Square Museum & Visitor Center has public restrooms but will be closing early on New Year 's Eve .
|
I was planning to continue the fiction non - stop over the next few days , without boorish distractions from Real Life ( tm ) . However , I have to post today . Molly Ivins is dead . Now , I 'm probably more of a conservative liberal than anything else . I rarely talk politics here , mostly because I 'm not really into arguing . I think that freely expressing our opinions is one of the greatest boons of living in the United States , and anything that threatens freedom of speech is a cause for concern . It 's not like I knew Molly Ivins , except through her editorials . I started reading her Creator 's Syndicate column regularly about a year or two ago . I may not have agreed with everything she wrote ( albeit , I did agree with most of it ) , but she was funny and insightful and scathing . It was love at first read . On more than a couple of occasions , I considered writing to her just to give a thumb 's up , but I never did work up the nerve . Today , I wish I would have written to her , because now I 'll never have that chance . More about Molly can be read here , her last column can be found here , and a tribute to Molly can be read here . So I 'm somewhat bummed by the news . No , I didn 't know her , but she certainly made me think on more than one occasion . Yelling above decks caused Sahm to stir . He opened his eyes in the darkness and looked around in vain . The rocking of the ship was less pronounced , though he could still feel the waves beneath its keel and hear the creaking of the masts echo through the hull . His mouth was bitter and sour - tasting , and his head ached . He swung his legs out of the hammock and lowered himself gingerly to the floor . Taking a tentative step in the direction of the door ( or so he hoped ) , Sahm 's head swam and he slipped , falling noisily to the ground . He cursed himself , scrabbling through a wet patch that stank of vomit - his own , though he didn 't remember throwing up in his humble , closet - like cabin - and crawled to the door . Outside , the light of the morning sun was just peeking over the eastern waves . The wind had dissipated , the storm passed . The ship 's crew went about their business , as if he wasn 't even there . A couple of sailors glanced his way , their eyes yellow in the dim light , but they made no comment , nor did Sahm expect them to . He made his way to the bow of the ship , pausing to let a group of sailors pass by . One of them muttered something , but Sahm ignored it . He 'd heard worse from his own people , let alone from this mongrel breed of men from the north . Their insults washed over him like a gentle rain . Once at the bow , he removed his head - wrapping . The stained length of cloth was haphazardly wound , anyway , thanks in part due to the restless sleep he 'd endured the previous evening . His dark hair , freed from the wrapping , fell to his shoulders in a lanky mass . Sahm faced the sun , knelt on the weathered planks , and made his prayers to the sky . He prayed for forgiveness , for he had many sins for which to atone . He prayed that his family be spared humiliation for the things he had done . Most of all , he prayed for her , that she be forgiven for their mutual transgressions . His prayers finished , he rose wearily to his feet and wrapped his head with his turban . Securing the end of the wrapping , he placed his hands upon the ship ' Posted by The caravan was attacked by desert tribesmen in the middle of the journey 's fourth week . The time had passed quickly , and nothing of ill consequence had occurred since they 'd left Uman . Aliz was , it seemed , within their grasp , and the men grew complacent as the expedition drew to a close . Qadil grumbled at their careless manner , exhorting them to be vigilant , but they laughed at him and called him an old fool when his back was turned . " Misfortune visits most often at dawn or dusk , " he would chide , using an expression that was far older than he was . Sahm allowed himself to experience a cautious sort of relief , despite Qadil 's constant warnings . This trip would bring him a healthy sum if the cargo sold well , and Aliz was a rich metropolis filled with all the wonders of the deep south . Gold , silks , exotic beasts , ivory , and fine eastern steel . All he needed to do was find another caravan to escort back to Uman , and he could retire for a while . Perhaps , he thought , settle on a wife . That should please his mother . Hashim had talked of nothing but the strange woman in the passenger wagon for the past three weeks . He seemed obsessed , craning his neck none too discreetly if the wagon 's flap so much as fluttered in the wind . Despite himself , Sahm found Hashim 's boorish interest contagious . He often found himself stealing a glance when the lady 's servants entered or emerged , but he never caught sight of the lady herself . Qadil caught him gazing at the wagon one morning , and nudged him gently with his crop . " The watchman 's eyes should gaze at the horizon , " he said . Sahm had blushed in response , which brought a chuckle from Qadil . Sahm climbed into the saddle , and absently patted his horse 's flank . It was a fine animal , a gift given to him by his father on his sixteenth birthday . He 'd named the horse Asianne , or " rising sun , " due to the golden color of her mane . Two years later , his brother had joked that the horse was the only bride that Sahm would ever have . The jibe had angered him , though he didn 't show it . He would have beenPosted by The roiling of the sea churned Sahm 's stomach . It was a malady that he 'd been cursed with since he 'd set foot upon the ship . He had barely kept anything down for a week , and the weakness in his legs and arms was a telling result of his nausea - induced starvation . Speed was essential , or else he might have plied his skills on a northbound caravan instead of paying what little gold he had left for a passage northward by sea . Such a course wouldn 't have been wise , for the men who sought him knew his manner . The caravans leaving Uman would be the first place they 'd look . Like the desert , the sea had its share of bandits . The rough weather that had risen suddenly as the shadows had grown long with the coming of night would keep the ship safe for the time being , but it presented its own dangers in return . Storms , brought on by nature 's fickle whim and fueled by the winds that he worshipped , could tear boats to matchsticks and leave few traces of life behind . Sahm muttered a silent prayer as he gripped the rail , his knuckles white with the effort . Pirates , they called them , these bandits of the waters : vagabonds who rode the waves in vessels both great and small , preying on wealthy and poor alike . Sahm did not fear them , and would , in fact , welcome the change of pace were such an encounter to occur . It would likely mean a quick end to his voyage , given the state of the crew . Though they seemed competent sailors , he didn 't sense much fighting spirit in the men that crewed the ship he rode . Like as not , they would heave - to and allow their assailants to board without struggle . " Best get below decks ! " a crewman called , and Sahm turned towards the voice . It was the one they called Graven , a young Halfling with chestnut hair and a northerner 's complexion . Sahm knew of Halflings , having seen them in his own homeland . The desert Halfling tribes were aloof , moving from oasis to oasis with the shifting sands of the wastes . Occasionally they would trade with the caravans that Sahm had accompanied , should their paths cross . On other ocPosted by The sands of the desert had cooled , though the breeze out of the west still carried a trace of the day 's dry heat . The wagons had been circled , and tents of various shapes and sizes had been erected around them . Three small fires were burning low within the ring of wagons . A handful of men stood near the fires , talking in hushed tones . The scent of strong coffee mingled freely with the earthier smell of the animals that had been tethered nearby . Sahm sat within earshot of the assembled men , rubbing the blade of his shamshir with an oily cloth . He 'd ridden ahead of the caravan that day , which meant that he was allowed to rest that evening . Tomorrow night he would patrol the camp 's perimeter , probably with Hashim or Qadil . He sighed forlornly in spite of himself as he thought of being paired with Hashim . The man - hells , Hashim was practically a boy - prattled on like a woman . He was full of gossip and vanity , bragging about his father 's wealth and the endless herds of camels that roamed his family 's extensive properties . The discussion , which was always one - sided , grew tiresome quickly . It was all that Sahm could do to hold his tongue once Hashim got started . If there was a bright side to patrolling with Hashim , Sahm was unable to determine what it was . Qadil , on the other hand , was an older fellow , probably a dozen years Sahm 's senior . He 'd been a caravan guard most of his life , and his lined and weathered face revealed untold wisdom and knowledge . When he spoke on patrol , which was rare , it was to convey something of importance . Sahm had learned quickly to listen to Qadil , and he had developed a great deal of respect for the older man . The one time that Qadil had spoken to Sahm at any length , he 'd talked about his family . Two wives , fourteen children ( ten of them boys ) , and a number of horses waited for him back home . He made a comfortable living riding with the desert caravans , his experience commanding quite a sum from the merchants that employed him . The caravan had set out from the great city of Uman ten dayPosted by Sahm was uncomfortably aware of the biting , salty wind that caused his eyes to redden as he stared into the distance from the prow of the mighty ship . Better to have a loyal horse beneath him than the surging deck of a trader 's vessel , he thought miserably . Despite its placid appearance from the relative safety of shore , the ocean was a veritable desert , the countless sands replaced by briny , forbidding depths . There was little comfort in the analogy . To lose oneself here , thrown overboard by storm , or madness , or unruly crew , was to die and be forgotten . He was a man who knew the wastes of his homeland well . Sahm had ridden across the breadth of the great desert many times , in service to half a dozen caravans . He had leant his bow and blade to the protection of the goods and folk of his country , loosing arrows at bandits , raiders , and the unholy spawn of the shifting sands . In between these meandering jaunts , which often lasted months at a time , he served with his father and brothers in his lord 's army . It was not often that they were summoned to fight at the behest of the Caliph , but such a thing was not unheard of . Even Sahm had seen the ugly face of war , where men became beasts driven by bloodlust , and were rarely tempered by faith . There was no war here , upon the waves , unless it was between the sea and the endless sky that sat above it . The sun was setting , and the planets and stars had started to reveal themselves in the eastern sky . The sight of the stars in the heavens drew Sahm 's thoughts to another night , several months past , spent in a much better place . . . The Unspeakable Cat is a weblog I put up a while back , as a sort of joke intended to cheer up my wife . The central character is Hastur , who is Amy 's fat , grey cat . We named him Hastur in part because we are both fans of the Chthulhu mythos , and in part because he 's always been somewhat naughty . Hastur in KittenhoodThough affectionate , Hastur prefers to seek attention on his own schedule . He is still naughty , generally on a daily basis . His badness includes lots of cat - like behavior , such as clawing at the carpet or sofa , leaving stinking piles of waste on the carpet to protest our son 's dubious affections , and rampaging in the wee hours of the night . His favorite things to ingest are milk and raw beef . Hastur Loves Milk , Especially When It 's Not HisHe 's quite fond of eating . Sometimes Hastur is so enthusiastic that he eats way too much and ends up doing his bulemia impression all over the carpet . He never learned to bury the things that he deposits in the litter box . Rather , he paws at vertical surfaces nearby : walls , the exterior of the litter box , or whatever else is available . To say that Hastur 's spoor smells bad is a cosmic understatement . In all my years , I have never smelled anything worse . Hastur " Buries " His Litterbox LeavingsIt 's a lot to tolerate , I suppose , but I manage to do it despite my aversion to his occasional extra - litterbox leavings . I got out of the habit of updating Hastur 's blog , but I 've recently started up again . It 's mostly a creative outlet , albeit an absurd and occasionally scatological one . Feel free to check it out ; read the archives . Comment , too , should you feel moved to do so . Hastur won 't mind . And if you 're really nice , maybe he 'll be merciful to you when the world inevitably collapses beneath the weight of the Great Old Ones . . . My laptop battery is in its final death throes . No longer will it hold a charge . Given that life without my computer is unthinkable , I 've ordered a new battery from Dell . Expensive ? Yeah , it was . Can I afford it ? Yes , just so . I 'd planned to spend said money on something less utilitarian , but I know that I 'll be happy once that battery light stops blinking red . I had news today . It was good news , but not to me . I can 't say I expected a different answer , but I am , nonetheless , somewhat down about the whole thing . Should there be a next time , perhaps I will have better fortune . I 'm hankering to DM / GM again . It 's been too long . I think I 've lost my train of thought , the one that was chugging around my brain in December . Derailed by neglect , I may yet bring it back at some point . For now , the future use of my dining room table is uncertain . My dice , unused , will remain in their little black pouch , set aside like impotent orbs that once brimmed with random chance . The good news is , my blood pressure has gone way down . As in , it 's normal . I don 't feel much of a difference ( and I likely won 't ) . I guess that 's something that I should be happy about , hm ? I complain sometimes about waiting . Well , in a couple of instances , at least , my waiting is done . In at least four other instances , it continues . At least one of the latter cases , the impending birth of my daughter , has a definite due date . The other three remain unknown . I don 't often bring up politics here , but today is different . From CNN : President Bush , facing opposition from both parties over his plan to send more troops to Iraq , said he has the authority to act no matter what Congress wants . " I 've made my decision , and we 're going forward , " Bush told CBS ' 60 Minutes . Emphasis is mine . A typical response from this power - hungry administration . So much for democracy or public opinion . I continually get the feeling that this country is being run with a " father knows best " mentality . I , for one , am not a child , and the way that the Bush administration operates continues to be incredibly insulting to the citizens of this nation . Is gaming too expensive ? Are the prices charged for RPG products too high ? Five or six years ago , I might have answered " yes " to both of those questions . It didn 't stop me from buying books and other gaming products , though . I 've always found ways to keep my costs down , to look for the best bargain I could find . There was a time , many years ago , when I worked at a local game shop for $ 5 . 75 an hour . As an employee , I had a 20 % discount on anything I bought from the store . Needless to say , I sunk about half of my income into the store , and came away with a stack of books over the course of my 13 month stint in retail . The fact that I still lived at home in those days , without rent or a plethora of bills and expenses hanging over my head , was partly to blame . After leaving the game store for a more profitable position with a company in the manufacuring industry , I was no longer privy to that employee discount . In fact , after spending 5 days a week for over a year in the store , I rarely paid my old employer a visit . I suppose I could 've gone down and begged my old co - workers to ring me up with their discount , but that seemed ill - mannered . Instead , I started to patronize a store down in Clairemont called Dwarf Mountain . Dwarf Mountain discounted everything , even CCGs and miniatures , at 20 % off . It was like a built - in employee discount , except I didn 't have to work there . Their selection of products was good , too . I also patronized a comic shop in Escondido that had a frequent buyer program , wherein you 'd pay $ 10 per year for a 20 % break on certain comics and all gaming books . I don 't know how long I profited from these discounts , but eventually Dwarf Mountain went out of business . I don 't know why , though it seemed that the other game stores in the area felt that whatever had happened had been well - deserved . Though the comic shop remained in business , the frequent buyer program was eventually revised . Instead of the membership fee and built - in discounts , it turned into a " buy $ 100 and get a $ 5 gift certificate " sort of proPosted by This month , Green Ronin is releasing the Thieves ' World Gift Set : a ginormous set of five books dedicated to gaming in Sanctuary . Along with the original titles in the series , it also contains an exclusive fifth : Black Snake Dawn , an adventure set entirely in Rankan - era Sanctuary . The asking price is $ 100 , which is a great deal . Also , looks as if anyone who preorders the Gift Set will receive an added bonus : a book plate signed by Lynn Abbey . For more information , check this link . Last week , on New Year 's Eve , Amy and I ( and the boy ) drove down to San Diego and picked up some sushi fixin 's . Our typical shopping trip includes cucumber , avocado , masago , nori , and sashimi - grade tuna . We also needed some Japanese mayonaise , which is a little sweeter than the American variety . As it is , we 've got plenty of rice , vinegar , and hot sauce in the cupboard . The market we go to is down in Clairmont , called Mitsuwa , is an Asian market that sells all manner of Japanese foods , not to mention books , magazines , videos , and just about anything else you can think of . As it was New Year 's Eve , the place was packed when we got there . We managed to get in and out pretty quickly , and once back to the car we packed our fish and masago in our portable cooler to make sure it stayed nice and fresh . Once home , with Stephen in a much - needed nap , Amy went about the chore of making sushi rice . I don 't remember all the steps required to do this , but I know it involves rinsing the rise mutliple times , steaming it , and mixing it with rice vinegar and other stuff in a special wooden tub called a hangiri . Later in the evening , Amy got to making the rolls . We enjoyed California rolls and spicy tuna rolls . All told , we spent about $ 15 on fish and ended up with five whole rolls ( with leftovers ! ) . Anyone who goes out for sushi knows that $ 15 will usually buy you one or two rolls , depending on where you prefer to go . There is a certain savings involved , though it is also a lot of work ( though not as much work as baking cookies ) . So , without further ado , I present what Nikchick refers to as " food porn " : pictures of Amy 's sushi rolls . We plated them on some sushi plates that our friends JD and Keri gave us for Christmas . California Rolls with MasagoGiven that fish was involved , we had plenty of interest from our cats . The chili sauce used in the spicy tuna rolls wasn 't their idea of good eats , though , so the felines were held at bay somewhat . Hastur Presents : Spicy Tuna RollsAs we ate our sushi dinner , we watched one of the DVDs we receiPosted by I 've been lax lately , blog - wise . Not much to say , really . The holidays are behind me , which means that I should have more time . Theoretically . At least until the new baby arrives , sometime around February / March . All bets are off then . Haven 't done a lick of gaming lately , unless you count the occasional card game . Schedules have been too conflicted to schedule anything meaningful . Given that one of my regular players has consigned himself to a life of servitude in a Starbucks that is part of a local B & N , I wonder how much we 'll be seeing of him in ' 07 . I 've been reading a little , though . Picked up Expedition to Castle Ravenloft with an Amazon gift certificate , and I 'm liking what I see enough to consider running it . I 'm not generally a fan of published adventures ( unless I 'm mining them for ideas ) , but this one seems flexible enough that I might enjoy it . I 'll probably put my own spin on things . The Liberty game is gearing to start up again , so at least I 'll be playing something . . . As far as work ( meaning writing , as opposed to the orthodontic salt mine ) , things are in stasis presently . I 've got a project or two promised to me later this year , but no dates are set yet . I do have some rules that I need to finish reading . Outside of that , I get to hurry up and wait . I 'm wondering if I should beat the bushes a little bit , but I also know that once I get something else lined up , all Hell will break loose with my current obligations and I 'll be swamped . Then again . . . I 'd sort of like to be swamped . It either means that I 'm in demand , or that I 'm too stupid to say no to a project . Or , more than likely , both are equally applicable . I 've got some photos I need to download off the camera so that I can properly document the holidaze on my Freelance Father blog . The boy is now three months from turning two , and he 's definitely showing signs of terrible twoness . I was naive to think that my son would be different somehow , that the terrible twos were for other children and not my own . I was mistaken . Life is now a near - constant strugPosted by I 'm a writer and game designer from southern California . I 've done a lot of freelance work on tabletop / pnp RPG products , but that went ( mostly ) by the wayside when I broke into the computer games industry in mid - 2007 . In mid 2012 , I took a Senior Content Designer position with Carbine Studios LLC .
|
Thankful For so many things … For last night 's uninterrupted 4 - hour sleep , it 's not much in the everyday context but it was heaven for me . God really had mercy and knew how much my body could bear … Miriam slept from 9 . 40pm till 2 + am , had a fuss - free 20 - min nursing session then slept till 5 + am , nursed , went back to sleep till 7am . Was a little groggy when I woke up 7am coz I was too happy and excited to sleep after the 5 + am feed , but it was a blissful night . For GY , my loving husband , wonderful teammate and sacrificial leader . He 's been doing all he can to help out with the little berry and around the house , so I can get maximum rest outside of caring for Miriam . For the little berry and the hugs and laughs she brings . She 's truly a joy to care for ( when she 's not being disobedient ) , and would play or read quietly by herself in the library while I care for her meimei or get dinner prep done downstairs . For the trying days when I know I have to lean on God 's strength . For the " easier " days when I can enjoy time with the girls and talk to GY without constantly yawning . Like I told GY , this season is so tiring , but oh no joyful . Faith : 6 weeks It 's been 6 weeks since we 've been a family of 5 ( including Chopper ) . How have things been ? I have a great jumble of thoughts and instead of trying to sort through them before writing which I doubt I 'll get to , I 'll just record them in point form here … Faith seems to be a very different baby from little berry . She seems less demanding and cries less . Maybe it 's because this time round , I have ample milk supply and she 's not constantly hungry ( which on hindsight , we suspect the little berry was ) . Or maybe it 's simply because she 's got a different disposition and personality . Faith has yet to settle into a schedule , which is understandable since she 's just 6 weeks old . But she does follow a very rough routine of sorts : 8 . 30 / 9am : Bathe time ( after little berry goes to school ) + Nurse 8 . 30 / 9pm : Wipe down + Nurse + Settle down for night time sleep In between , she feeds erratically between 1 to 2 . 5hr intervals in the day time , and about 2 to 3 hours in the night . Some nights , she nurses and goes right back to sleep without much fuss . Some nights , she 'll keep me up for almost 2 hours … nursing , burping , changing poopy diapers , dealing with diaper leaks , nursing again , putting her down only to have her cry again for more milk . Thankfully GY has been a great help and he gets the little berry ready for school in the mornings while I get some much needed snooze . She 's had her first 6 - in - 1 jab without much drama . She cried for a couple of seconds and was ok afterwards . There was no fever and she recovered quickly from the jab . Strong girl 🙂 At 6 weeks , she weighs 4 . 7kg which is heavier than the little berry at the same age . She grunts A LOT in her sleep , not sure if it 's due to her gas issues ( she vomits and farts a fair bit too ) , but unlike the little berry whom I never burped , I 've had to spend a lot of time trying to burp her , because there 's a good chance she 'll vomit everything out if she doesn 't . She 's already had almost 10 episodes of projectile vomiting in her short life thus far , resulting in much washing of sheets and clothes and cushion covers . She makes the cutest sighs after she sneezes 🙂 Just like her sister , she doesn 't like being swaddled and by week 3 , we 've had to remove her swaddle to let her sleep . She seems a lot happier but on the down side , she scares herself sometimes with all that flailing of arms . I don 't know how it even happens but as I was telling GY yesterday , it seems The Lord has increased our seemingly already maxed out capacity once again to care for and love this little one . My dearest Faith , you are so blessed that we don 't make as many rookie parenting mistakes with you as we did with your sister 🙂 But you 've also had to share our attention with her since day 1 , and you seem to be cool with that ( except of course , when you 're hungry , that 's when you 'll cry most loudly until tears flow down your cheeks , a most pitiful sight ) . We , including your sister , love you so much , including your sister . Welcome to the family my little one 🙂 When you wonder whether Ogilvy would ever take you back or if your skills will become obsolete for society because working is so much easier than being a stay - home mum ; Remember this : Someday your daughters will grow up and your arms will not be long enough to hold them Someday this house will be spotlessly clean , without the muddy paw prints or the mess children make , Someday you 'll have all the time in the world to craft , write , exercise because your daughters will no longer need you all the time the way they do now , saying " come on mummy " Someday , you 'll no longer need to plan menus , because there may not many chances to eat 3 meals together as a family . But till those days come , cherish the mundane . The quietness of the night feeds , the leaning on God wondering if these nights will ever end . Treasure the pitter patter of tiny feet running towards you , the cry of the newborn , the knowledge that their needs are simple for now , and you can do your best to meet them with what God has given you . One month and beyond The confinement nanny left for home today , and while we are truly grateful for her help , we are also happy to be back to just the 5 of us . The past month passed in a blur of night feeds , lunch time rush hour , and trying to find a balance between caring for Miriam while spending time with the little berry . And I 'm beginning to realise that that is no balance … Everyday is a new challenge , everyday presents its needs and God gives new strength for me to cope . I was full of fear and guilt about neglecting the little berry with the inclusion of Miriam , but I was reminded of Jesus . He walked as human with us , yet the needs were many and everyday the sick came to be healed , the possessed came to be delivered , the lost came for answers . There was no way he could possibly fulfill every need , heal every leper , speak comfort to every wounded soul , yet Jesus was neither frustrated or rushed . He was at peace with God . He got His priorities right , He met with the father in the mornings , did what he could , and left the rest to the hands of the father . I am so far from that . I often feel torn in every direction and rushed by the needs I see around me . But I know this is not how God meant for me to live , and I would like to change . To walk like Jesus did , at peace with the Father knowing that whatever he does , however much he can do for that day , it pleases God and he 's at peace with it . In the midst of this new phase , I would like to remember all that I 'm grateful for … For the confinement nanny who has taken care of Miriam so well , and who 's worked relentlessly through many nights to see to the needs of the family . Even though GY and I are both OCD about our kitchen and are very disturbed that it 's been " defiled " and needs a major clean - up , we are thankful for her and all that she 's done . For GY , whom I love . And who 's been nothing short of a servant leader in this household . I 'm grateful that our girls can learn through his example . He never fails to ask how I 'm doing , whether I 'm managing ok at home , and whether there 's any way he can ease my load . For little Miriam , who 's been a very good baby so far . Or maybe I 've been permanently scarred by memories of having to rock the little berry while walking up and down the stairs at home for eternity and Miriam doesn 't seem to need that 🙂 For the little berry , whose laughs and giggles and funny talk light up our days . It 's been tough on her too , she no longer can laze around in bed with me after she wakes up , very often I have to get her to come to the library with me so I can nurse and she 'll be pottering around doing her own stuff . From time to time she 'll ask me to carry her but I 'll explain that I 'm nursing mei mei and she 'll be quiet for a while … I think she 's learning to adjust too , as we are . And I 'm so thankful each time she includes mei mei in her speech , or says that she wants to " put out the fire for mei mei " , or " protect mei mei " . I pray the two of them will be best friends and prayer warriors for each other , the way I am with my sisters . For DJ and Amy , who 's been taking the effort to join me for dinner the past few Sundays and pray for me . Their presence have brought me much joy and cheer . They make me so thankful that Miriam and the little berry have each other . 12 Days It 's been 12 days since we brought our little Miriam home with us , and it 's been an incredibly blessed journey thus far . Sure , there are challenges along the way , like the night feeds and sleep deprivation , little berry 's difficulties in adjusting to having less of her mummy , and physical tiredness … But the blessings far outweigh the challenges . I just wanted to remember this period by giving thanks : For my husband who 's been humbly leading the household by serving us . He 's taken over most of the duties to do with little berry - going to her when she wakes , giving her her baths , milk , brushing her teeth , potty time , changing diapers , bringing her swimming , etc . And because he 's risen to these daily tasks , I 'm able to take a breather from time to time and concentrate on nursing Miriam . He 's been a pillar of strength when I was emotional when Miriam was warded for jaundice . He lifts the family up in prayer every night . Yes we crash into bed exhausted every night and he can be v irritating by choosing to annoy me during those few precious minutes we have in the quiet of the night when both kids are in bed , but I 'm extremely thankful for him . I 'm also thankful for our confinement nanny who 's been a great help in terms of meals and care of Miriam . She cooks well and we get to enjoy home - cooked meals without having to worry about the washing up . My mother in law who faithfully buys groceries for us every other day even though she 's got her own household to run and work to do . My sisters . Amy who braved the nights during the hospital stay with me , seeing to my every need , including adjusting my slippers when I get on / off the bed , waiting outside the shower when I bathe in case I fall , and getting up many times from her uncomfortable couch through the night whenever I move . DJ who conscientiously took these two weeks off school so she can be around to help and play with little berry when she 's sent over to my parents ' place . The little berry who 's been a trooper through her cough / flu ordeal and drank every ounce of medicine given to her . It 's unfamiliar territory for her to share her mummy with someone else and she 's still learning how to cope in her own way , but I 'm thankful for her smiles , laughter and tenderness whenever I do witness them . My Miriam , who 's been so brave throughout all her jaundice prick tests and phototherapy . She 's been an angel baby thus far , drinking and pooping and sleeping without much fuss . Her needs are simple and her cries few . I 'm really hoping she stays this way . There 's been much joy in holding a newborn again , I 'd forgotten how tiny they are and the cute kitten sounds they make . This is a tiring , but extremely thankful season . Father 's Day My dear daughters , Today is Father 's Day and even though both of you are still too young to understand the significance of this day , I wanted to write to you so that when you look back , you 'll know the things your Papa has done for you and how much he loves you … My dearest Gracie mouse , do you know that every night after you go to bed , your Papa would bow his knees to pray for himself , for the family and for you ? That 's because he knows how we tend to fail even with the best intentions , and therefore the importance of seeking God to direct his household . He knows his task as husband , and then father is a calling of utmost priority - and to get wisdom for this humanly impossible task , he can only start on his knees and seek his Heavenly Father . Do you know that when you blissfully drifts off to sleep , your Papa often has to go down to the kitchen to see to many things that 'll ensure your comfort and safety - wash your diapers , rinse your milk bottle , load and start the dishwater … He does all these chores night after night , unseen by you . Do you know it 's not easy for him to discipline you , to wield the rod - in fact it 's tiring and uncomfortable and takes up way more time than if he were to let things slide , but he does so because he loves you and wants to protect you . He might seem a little harsh at times , but that 's because he wants you to understand and appreciate Godly authority and to obey without hesitation . Do you know that every time you cry in pain or ask to be comforted with some 药膏 , your Papa would go and get some for you , even if he 's already comfortably seated where he is , and the cream is far away . Do you know that he loads so many of your things in his backpack when he brings you out , so that his hands are free to hold yours , to carry you , to protect you from danger . Do you know that even when he 's hurt his back , he still carries you , swings you , pulls you along in the water , turns you upside down when you ask him to , because he loves to see the smile oMy dear daughters , I pray you both grow up with the assurance and knowledge that your Papa loves you very much , and will go out of his way to teach you , train you , and protect you , for as long as he can . Birth Story : Faith The day Faith was born was nothing like the day we had the little berry . I guess right from the beginning , she 's already her own person carving out her own journey into this world . Unlike the first time , there was no uncertainty , no wondering whether the pain I was feeling were indeed contractions , no timing of contractions and no having to rush to the hospital . It was a scheduled c - section surgery . It was the end of 38 weeks and Faith was still breeched in my womb . After turning down at 33 weeks , she decided to turn back up and stayed there , seated comfortably snug . We dropped off the groggy little berry at my parent 's place and got to TMC just after 5am for the 7am op . After the paperwork , GY and I were checked into my room at level 6 . GY found the room to be very noisy because it 's just next to the nursery and requested that we change a room . They swapped us to an empty double room which was great because GY was able to get a lie - in as well while waiting . GY and I spent the next 30mins or so in that room talking , joking , praying , taking pictures , goofing around and then trying to get some sleep . Just when we were getting comfortable , each on one bed , the nurse came in to shave me and change me into the scrubs for the op . Soon after , I was wheeled off to level 2 , and GY was told to take a different route to meet me at the operating theatre . I was wheeled into the recuperating area where the Gynae ( Dr Yeap , since our original Gynae was on holiday ) did one last scan and confirmed that Faith was still breeched before wheeling me into the operating theatre . There , I met the anesthetist , a Dr Chew who seemed like a nice , confident man . I told him about my phobia of needles and he did his best to reassure me that it 'll be mostly painless because of the local anesthesia which he 'll be giving me first . He showed me the " smallest needle " he 'll be using to poke my hand to numb the skin . I looked away and felt the prick . It was bearable . Then he told me to cough and I did , and mid - cough , he inserted the IV drip needle into my hand . It was disturbing to know , but still bearable . My Gynae came in at this point and tried to exchange some pleasantries with me . I wasn 't a good candidate for early morning conversations , much less when I 'm facing imminent pain , but I tried . I was told me curl up like a shrimp for the anesthetist to locate the spine where he gave me 2 pricks to numb the area . The 2nd prick hurt and I made sure he knew that . Then he did the big injection which didn 't hurt as much as I thought it would but was still highly disturbing . Soon after , my legs started to feel tingly and numb . The numbness took over very quickly thereafter and in less than a minute , I could no longer control the movement of my legs . At this point , the nurses inserted a catheter into my urinary tract . The numbness spread right up to my chest level and it was shocking to find out that I couldn 't breathe very well . The anesthetist said something about my diaphragm being affected by the numbness and to take controlled breaths . I tried but couldn 't get the hang of it , probably because I was too freaked out by then to stay calm . I felt like I was being suffocated to death but no one cared . At this point , GY came in all decked out in his scrubs , hood and mask . He came over to my side immediately and asked how I was doing . I told him I couldn 't really breath and couldn 't say much after . But I think my eyes conveyed much fear and he just stayed by me and held my hands tightly . ( Later , he told me that I looked like I was in too much distress for him to make fun of me . ) I remember that look on his face . It translated a mix of concern , sadness , and love . He had that same expression when I was in great pain when in labor with the little berry . Back then , he told me he felt helpless that he couldn 't share my pain or make it go away . They put up a green screen in front of me so I couldn 't see what 's going on down there , but I could tell from the sensation , pulling and tugging that I was definitely getting cut up . It was extremely unnerving to feel them pulling at my skin in all directions to try and get the baby out . The Gynae will tugging at my skin , the anesthetist was pushing down on my belly , GY was holding my hand looking concerned and I was just trying to keep breathing . I was very tempted to ask to be put GA or just close my eyes so I could knock out completely but I wanted to hang on for a while more so I could see Faith . They kept telling me 5 more minutes and I can see my baby . I kept waiting and hoping for the ordeal to be over . After a while , someone said that baby 's out . I was so relieved but I didn 't hear her cry and wondered whether that was normal . The nurse brought her over to another table by the side of the room to be cleaned up . That was when she made her first cry , it was very short and cute . Then she cried a little more after that . GY was reluctant to leave my side but he had to follow them to ensure that they put on her identification tags correctly . I kept looking across at the table where they were as I experienced more pulling and tugging around my abdomen area . I felt the Gynae sewing me up with a very long string , threading it through my skin , pulling and tightening . Soon after , the nurse brought her over and placed her on my chest . I looked at her and started tearing . She was beautiful and perfectly formed , everything we asked God for . It was around then that the anesthetist kindly offered to take some pictures for the 3 of us . Even though I was totally not in the state of mind to be photographed , I managed a smile for the camera . They left her on my chest for a while more , then GY had to leave with her to get cleaned up and brought to the ward . It felt like an eternity , lying there trying not to think about my inability to breathe , and feeling the tugging of needle going in and out of my skin , sewing me up . When they 're finally done , the nurses put a bandage over my wound and pushed me out to the recovery area . I started shivering quite badly in the recovery area , strange because I didn 't feel cold at all . It was an involuntary response to the morphine pumped into me . I still couldn 't feel my legs at all and just laid that , waiting for someone to push me back to the ward to see my baby and GY . When the nurses pushed me back to the ward , the first persons I saw were GY 's parents . They had friendly smiles even though they look concerned . It was touching to see them care and come so early in the morning . Then I saw GY grinning in the ward . It was a relieve to see him again . Faith was under the warmer in the nursery so I didn 't get to see her until later . I was truly tired from all the mental disturbance and drugs , so I told GY to go have breakfast with his parents first , and I 'll try to sleep in the meantime . I can 't remember whether I actually managed to nap , but I do remember seeing GY coming back to the ward , holding our new daughter , and thinking how blessed we are . This birth experience was just the beginning of a faith journey with God , where he showed me that His ways are not my ways . I had a picture of what a ideal birth should be like - natural , non - induced , drug - free . None of that was in His plans . But I 'm learning to trust Him because like what GY Leave a comment « Older
|
" Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn 't do than by the ones you did do . So throw off the bowlines . Sail away from the safe harbor . Catch the trade winds in your sails . Explore . Dream . Discover . " - Mark Twain My wonderful mother got my bike sent to me really cheap through FedEx , so now I have a real bicycle . It was supposed to get here Wednesday , but it got delayed in customs a little bit , so it didn 't end up getting here until Thursday night . The road that I live on , as I have probably mentioned , is really small . Down the street and around the corner , the road narrows into what looks like a walking path between the railroad tracks and a sandstone bluff . If you can fit your car through there , then you have to negotiate a 90 degree corner between two old houses , with concrete walls on either side . The final part up to my apartment building is half taken up by stairs , so you have to squeeze between them and a drainage ditch . I don 't think the delivery truck made it past where it narrows past the railroad tracks because I heard a clanking sound coming up the street for a couple minutes before I had a knock on my door . I got my bike put together pretty quick , but I had to walk it past the next station to a decent bike shop to get the tires inflated . Most regular bikes in Japan use this really weird type of valve that I really hate , and my bike uses European valves , so I didn 't think any other shops would be able to do it . Plus I needed some other stuff . Once I got air in my tires , I rode home and WOW ! ! I 'd forgotten what it was like to ride that fast ! I 've gotten pretty good on my other bike at predicting the movements of Japanese pedestrians , who care even less that you 're coming at them than US pedestrians . If I was driving a car going that fast , people wouldn 't go out into the street , but on a bike , it 's like they assume you wont be going that fast , so they walk right out in front of you . I was looking forward to going on a ride today , but it 's rainy . I might go anyway . Tonight starting at 5 : 30 , we had a few strong earthquakes . The main one was 6 . 7 on the Richter scale , about 150 miles from Tokyo , but where I was at Ai 's house in Tokyo , it shook pretty good for about a minute and a half . It wasn 't as strong where I was as the one a few weeks ago , but near it 's epicenter in Nigata , it collapsed some tunnels , houses , started a few fires , knocked out power and telephone , and derailed a bullet train . In the hour after the earthquake , there were at least 4 or 5 more that we could feel . They area that I live in , though seeming like an uneventful place compared to the mega - city a short train ride away , is loaded with history . My first cool history discovery was way back around when I first got here , and found a park where Matthew Perry ( Of the US Navy , not friends ) first landed in Japan , opening Japan up for broad international contact . A few months later , I discovered that my area was also the place that the first Japanese Constitution was drafted , a direct result of the influences and disruptions that international contact brought . Today I ran across something that 's been staring me in the face since I got here . I was looking up Gulliver 's Travels in Wikipedia because , having never read it , I was wondering what all the fuss was about him in Japan ( Japan was the only non - fictional place mentioned in the book ) . So one thing lead to another , and I ran across A Brief History of William Adams . The story of William Adams may be familiar to people who have seen the movie Shogun or read the book by James Clavell . Though about as accurate as a child in a coloring book , the character John Blackthorne is based on William Adams . Adams was an English pilot on a Dutch ship that became stranded in Japan in 1600 . Being told by the Portuguese that they were pirates , they were immediately captured by the Shoguns forces . The Shogun , Tokugawa Ieyasu , took a liking to Adams and made him a vassal . But he could also never leave Japan , so Tokugawa William Adams dead , and gave him the name Miura Anjin and rank of Samurai . Since Adams was legally dead , he could remarry , so he married a samurai woman , and was given a fife . Fast forward back up the the 21st century , and I find myself living on the Miura Pennensula , and passing through a station called Anjin - zuka every day . The Miura Peninsula is the domain that was given to Miura Anjin when he became a samurai , called Hemi at the time . Now , Hemi is the name of the station 3 stops from mine , and Anjin - zuka is the next stop , probably close to where he lived . There have been wePosted by A friend of mine from the little english conversation school that I taught at the last time I was in Japan had a little party last night . In the few years since I was last in Japan , he 's been very busy making connections , and now , he barely teaches anymore . Instead , he 's gotten into the entertainment industry I suppose . His main job seems to be producing promotional stuff for a fancy restaurant owned by a friend , and doing shows . Also , his photography hobby is becoming something more than just a hobby . Given this background , his party last night was huge . It was hosted in a trendy night club in Aoyama , one of the most expensive and trendy areas of Tokyo . He had giant prints of his and a friends photography on the walls , and two giant video screens playing a film they made . The interesting thing about this whole thing was how he was able to hype his photo 's to get people to pay $ 30 to see . He came up to where Ai and I were sitting and said " look at this ! If you ever want to show some of your photos , just let me know . I can set up anything . Just low key at a resturant , or a club thing like this . Just add a little hype , and you can turn anybody into a legend . " The place wasn 't packed , but it was pretty full . Lots of the normal club - goers , plus more than the normal amount of foreigners and some really strange arty looking people . Luckily we didn 't have to pay to get in ( I didn 't expect him to let us all in free , but there was some confusion with fliers that he was supposed to send , and then not being on the guest list like we were supposed to . I was kind of disappointed about that . I 've always want to be on a guest list ) because Ai invited 3 friends , and they didn 't really like the kind of music that was playing , so around 2 am , we left and went in search of a new place . We thought about going to a place than one of her friends works at , but it was way to fancy ( dress code and all that ) and drinks were $ 10 a peace , plus a table charge , so we eventually settled for a Japanese style bar until they closed at 5 am and we aPosted by I went to quite a few department store looking for bed sheets that weren 't pastel pink , pastel blue , or pastel green . I didn 't have much luck . Some , but not much . I was able to find some non - pastel at a reasonable price . But who really cares about all that when you 're confronted with the pictures to the right ? That first picture looks suspiciously like a sign in a Walmart store . I 'm was pretty sure I wasn 't in Walmart , but it turns out that Walmart has invested a large sum in the Seiyu Department store chain in an effort to break into the Japanese market . Martha Stewart has also made an effort to break into the Japanese market , but I don 't know how many people have actually heard of her here . The only thing I saw with a Martha Stewart label was in the clearance rack , so I don 't know how well she 'd doing . Maybe it 's not pastel enough . Ai knows who she is and likes Martha Stewarts ' pronounciation of Arigato Gozaimasu ( a - RIG - e - toe ga - zai - mas as relayed to her by Kelsey , so it 's fifth hand information by the time you read it here . ) On the other side of Yokohama , all the trains are clogged up . There is no scheduale right now , the train just gets there when it does . On the train on the other side of the landslide , there was a group of navy guys oblivious to the blockage until a Japanese guy tried to tell them that they had to get off . Even though they couldn 't understand japanese , they had plenty of warning signs , like huge hand written signs in red letters , station workers talking into megaphones , groups of confused looking people standing around in front of the station , and the trains actually being late . It all should have made them think " huh , I wonder what 's going on ? " but it didn 't . Most of the navy guys that I 've been unfortunate enough to come across don 't pay attention to much , and they were completely oblivious , so I had to explain it all to them . When I posted this morning , I said that I heard trains going by , so I thought everything must be okay . But , it was saspiciously quiet . As of now , trains are running on a very limited schedual , and stopping a few stations away because of a landslide blocking the tracks . There are two ways around , either JR from Zushi , or the Yokohama Subway . They 're giving everyone free passage on the Subway , but it 's really not too crowded . I think most were smart enough to stay home . What a week it 's been for natural stuff . First a pretty strong earthquake , and yesterday , the first direct hit by a typhoon . It was the 22nd Pacific typhoon , and the I 'm - not - sure - what - th to hit Japan . ( but a lot higher than usual ) Yesterday morning I woke up at about 9 : 30 wondering where my bed was . I got online and found the tracking site for the shipping company , and found out the my bed was shipped from the factory on the 29th , and had been sitting in a warehouse in Yokohama for a week . I called them to figure out what was going on , and arranged a delivery the same day . At 12 , I got a call from the delivery truck driver saying that they 'd be there at around 2 . By this time the rain was pretty hard , and I think they were worrying about it getting worse . At 2 : 00 I went outside with my umbrella , and both corners of my apartment building were dumping huge columns of water . I walked as far as the train station and by the time I got back , the bottom part of my pants were drenched . At 2 : 30 , my bed arrived , and delivery men carried all the boxes up to my room . I spend the next few hours putting my bed together and watching stuff blow by at an increasing rate of speed . When the bed was done I turned on the TV to watch NHK 's Typhoon report showing the eye passing just about directly over where I live . Just after the strongest part of the storm , the power went out , and I was in the dark . Once the bulk of the storm passed , I decided to venture outside to procure food . Outside , it had stopped raining much , and most of the wind was gone also . Few people had umbrellas , and the ground was littered with the skeletons of dead umbrellas , potless plants , and plantless pots . A small tree in front of my apartment building had snapped in half . The train line that runs past my house had stopped . NHK was showing footage of landslides covering the tracks south of Yokohama , so there were a lot of people stuck down here , just standing in front of the station waiting for it to open . It seems like everything is back to normal now . I can hear tPosted by There was just a pretty strong Earthquake ! In Japan 's classification , it was a level 4 where I live , and a weak level 5 in the center . The Japanese system is based on what is felt by people , so a one is weak , felt be people that aren 't moving . Level 2 rattles doors and windows . Level 3 shakes buildings and rattles things loudly . 4 is supposed to shake buildings strongly , knock over objects , splash water out of water holding containers , and cause people to panic and run outside , while five can cause cracks in walls . I would say it was a weak 4 where I live since nothing fell over , but I could defiantly feel my apartment building swaying . The TV says that Tokyo and Yokohama were level 4 . I think I 'll live in a reinforced cement building next time I move .
|
Getting things done . This is the 7th day of 2017 , a brand new year . It used to be at the beginning of a new year that we all made promises to do something that we said we were going to do to fulfill some desire that we have had for a long time . We would say that we were going to get ourselves in better shape , eat healthier , save more money and / or get into a better relationship with God . We all started out with good intentions ; however , we all know that good intentions do not always lead to a change in action . There is a scripture in the Bible that tells us that God not only sees what we do , but he is able to discern our thoughts and what we intended to do . Good intentions are important to have , but often times there is a disconnect between intent and action . For most of us , we struggle in the doing part . What is it that causes us to not do what we intend to do ? We all do things that we do not intend to do and this often gets us into big trouble . What is the difference between succeeding in what we intend to do and failing ? You tell me . Why do you fail ? For a lot of us , I do believe that the difference is in perseverance . Perseverance is a key ingredient to succeeding . It is possible to have a vision and no perseverance and it will still lead to failure . I have learned from my journeys that I will always have obstacles in my way that will hinder my good intentions . If I do not have the muscle of perseverance to keep me going , I will fail . There are many ingredients to success , like being surrounded by the right people ; people that will encourage you when you are down to help motivate you when you are falling short of the intent . Nobody succeeds at anything without having setbacks . One of the reasons for failure is the lack of planning . It has been said by someone that " to fail to plan is to plan to fail " . We need to remember , in our planning stage , that God does not always honor our plans . For some of us , our plans are against His plans for our lives . The Bible tells us , in Jeremiah 29 , that God said to Israel , I Selfish Love All of us know that love is a characteristic of life that makes one unselfish . Or does it ? There is an aspect of love that can turn into a very selfish thing . This is manifested in immature actions and in the context of loving the idea of love as opposed to accepting the reality of love . Sometimes , it is hard to tell the difference between the two . Mature love reveals itself through the actions of demonstrating understanding and long suffering . Immature love thinks only in terms of what one feels and the personal benefits that one receives from love . That is selfish love . In my years of pastoring , I have counseled many individuals in troubled marriages . After listening to the issues , it has become apparent to me that a lot of us enter into marriage with selfish love . I remember reading a passage of scripture concerning the life of Abraham in Genesis 20 . ( I hope that you will go there and read verses 1 - 18 after reading this post . ) Abraham demonstrates to me the struggle of a man attempting to live a life by faith and a love of God . One of the most powerful lessons is what Abraham 's story teaches us about God 's reaction in faithfulness to us . Abraham , at this point , is an old man , but he commits a sin that is identical to the sin that he committed many years earlier while he was in Egypt ( Genesis 13 ) . Even though Sarah was advanced in age , it is obvious that her physical attraction had not diminished that much at all . Abraham attempted to deceive Abimelech , ruler of the land that he was living in at the time . As it was in Egypt , God himself intervenes on behalf of Abraham by appearing to Abimelech in a dream to rescue him . How would he not have learned from the first mistake ? For all of us who take the journey of living by faith , this is a real problem . The Bible tells us that we all have to walk in the steps of Abraham in Romans 4 . Our love for God calls for us to do the right thing , but the pressures of life and the love of self can push us in the other direction . The reason Abraham gave for his actions was this : " Stickability " I was passing by a lady 's house , about 4 . 5 miles from mine . I had to stop because she was backing out from her driveway and I couldn 't go anywhere without risking getting hit . She lets down her window and says , " I 'm so proud of you . I 've been watching you for years and I 'm so proud of you for what you are doing " . She doesn 't know that I 'm a father and that I 'm a grandfather . She does not know that I am a pastor of 36 years . She does not know that I 'm a business man , yet she says , " I 'm proud of you " . I 'm assuming that what she is proud of in me is that I continue to stick to my morning routine in exercise . Here 's a woman that I have never known who takes the time out to tell me this . What does it mean ? Has she wanted to be one who works out and has not been ? Is she getting encouragement from someone who has " stickability " ( my word for it ) . It is interesting how people who may cross your path and that you may never know are getting strength from watching you stick to what you are supposed to stick to ( and this is not about exercise ) . My words to all of my friends is don 't give up . Don 't give up on your marriage . Don 't give up on your hope of finding gainful employment . Don 't give up on your hope of getting married . Don 't give up on your walk with God . Don 't give up on being a person of integrity . Don 't give up on being a friend in deed even when your friendship has been taken advantage of . Somebody is watching you . Stick to it . I know that it gets tough sometimes , but the life that you save just may be your own . I have come to realize that it is never just about me , but it is about the people that God has set me in the middle of . There is a scripture in the book of Romans that says , " but we glory in tribulations also : knowing that tribulation worketh patience ; And patience , experience ; and experience , hope : And hope maketh not ashamed ; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us " ( Romans 5 : 3 - 5 ) . Have you ever had one of those days when it seemed like everything was going wrong and it left your head swirling around ? You may even feel like screaming ! From time to time , everybody has a day like that . And when you do , you probably feel like saying something that you know will hurt somebody ; something ugly that just wouldn 't be good to say because it will not solve the problem . You may even get depressed , try to sleep it off and forget about it , but because you have tried this many times before you know , as well as I do , that none of these choices will solve your problems . Rather than get emotional or throw in the towel , I want you to learn to do what I have learned to do over the years . Stop . Make a choice to let God lead you , lead you not only in a bad situation , but even in obvious situations that may seem easy to handle on your own . Let the peace of God rule your heart . Starting on this Resurrection Sunday , invite Jesus in everyday to help with whatever situation you are going through . Instead of throwing in the the towel , throw up your hands towards Heaven . If you have ever played or watched any organized sports , then you know that there is a major difference between the level of play that is on the field . There is always an official who governs the game when it really counts . The game on the average playground does not have an official . There is no one who is enforcing the rules of the game when it 's not for keeps . In Colossians 3 : 15 , the word rule was used in ancient times to describe that very thing : an umpire or referee who would judge an athletic competition . This word tells us that the Word of God can work like an umpire or referee in our hearts , minds , and emotions . So , when detrimental emotions try to throw us into a state of emotional despair , we can stop it from happening by calling for a Time Out ! By making the choice to let God 's word rule in our life and allow him to be the umpire In the words of someone that I know very well , " Don 't worry about a thing ! " What does it mean to be spiritual ? No one can be spiritual or biblical without first experiencing new birth . New birth is life , life that is freely given to all who believe in the Lord Jesus as their personal savior . Spirituality is growing in relationship with the Holy Spirit . It is simply Christian maturity ; however , like in the natural , no one is born mature . It is a process that one must go through to become a grown up . The same is also true with spirituality . A new Christian cannot be called spiritual simply because he or she has not had sufficient time to grow in knowledge and experience . A new Christian can be spirit control , but the area of spiritual control will be expanding in the process of Christian growth . A young Christian has not yet been confronted in many areas to try his or her faith in their life . When he / she is first saved , they may not even know that there is such a person as a weaker brother . Although he may be not be unwilling to curve his liberties for the sake of that brother , he has not yet faced a real challenge . He may say that he has , but he has not faced having to actually not do something that he really wants to do . He does not have to refrain because it is a sin to do whatever it is , but he needs to refrain because it may cause someone else to become weaker in faith or do something that will ruin their life . A Christian of longer standing may not be spiritual either ; not because he has had insufficient time , but because over the years of his or her Christian life , he or she has not allowed the Holy Spirit to control them . The difference here is that the new Christian may lack the time required for spiritual growth , but the believer that has been saved for years may be deficient in his or her submission . Without continually submitting to the Holy Spirit a Christian cannot mature . They will remain immature . A Christian can backslide in certain areas of his life without losing all of the progress that he has made while being saved . The flesh may control his actions during a period of b2 Comments You may or may not know that I recently had a pretty bad cold , so I was in search of some medication to relieve my symptoms and I knew that I had to go to the pharmacy counter to get it . It 's been a practice for several years now , but I recently heard that a major drugstore chain in the Northeast is now requiring a photo ID for yet another commonly used product . All of you ladies are really going to love the hassle that you will have to go through to purchase fingernail polish remover in the future . That 's right , fingernail polish remover is becoming a restricted item in our nation . When I realized this , of course , I asked myself why ? And to my surprise , I discovered that it is being used to help create illegal substances . It is sad to say , but it is true that the illegal actions of just a few can cause restrictions to come upon many . The law is not for the law abiding but for the lawbreaker . If someone really wants something bad enough , they will figure out a way to make it happen or get around the existing restrictions and rules . Isn 't this just like it has always has been ? It reminds me of what took place in Genesis 2 when God put a prohibition on consumption of fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil . The actions of few affected the many . You see , I am convinced that when you misuse freedoms in minor areas it will have results leading to a greater loss of freedoms in major areas . While it is true that the Lord has given us Christians many liberties , He also told us not to use our liberties as a cloak for wrong intentions ( 1 Peter 2 : 16 ) . While many people have never had any evil intention by trying to use such a product as nail polish remover , there are others who have gone to the extreme and found an otherwise harmless product to be helpful in causing great harm . We as Christians can find ourselves in the same predicament . Something that starts out seemingly not doing much harm can turn into harmful and sinful actions , if we begin to look at it from the perspective of meeting a desire in an area1 Comment I was out on the road and saw this thing moving and the closer I got to it , the more I figured that it had to be some kind of animal . It was a cat who looked like he had been hit by a car , but was struggling trying to get up . He was trying to do what he used to do with ease before he was hurt . He was probably able to leap and jump and run with no problem , but not now . I knew that it was bad . I went out another hour out and finally came back and expected this cat to be dead . He somehow had managed to get off of the road , but I knew that there was very little chance of him living . His instincts were probably kicking in , but he just couldn 't do it . I don 't have a cat , but I think that he probably belonged to someone and they would be missing him . Every life is valuable to someone even if you don 't know who that cat is . When we get hit on the highway of life emotionally , our instincts may kick in and think that we can get back up quickly again . It could be a romantic , financial , or friendly relationship and you 've gotten hit on the road . It is not always good to get back up and act like you haven 't taken a potentially fatal blow . Don 't get bitter if you 've had a hard hit and may be limping . You are important even if that person who hit you has run on with their life . Instinctively , you may want to get up and do what you have always done but you need to pull over and get some help . Learn how to let it go and live your life to the fullest . Your life is valuable and someone is concerned about you . Have you had a time in your life when you were waiting on the Lord and you decided that you could take matters in your own hands to speed things up a little bit ? After doing this you saw that , instead of making things better , you made things worse . Now , you regret the fact that you didn 't wait on the Lord . I think that all of us , if we spoke truthfully , would have to admit that we have been guilty of the same thing . Think about it . . . how many times have you opened up your mouth and said things that you regretted later ? Perhaps , you reacted to a circumstance before you really had enough time to think it through . Maybe you got so angry at somebody that you actually verbalized your anger and hurt that other person . Later on , you realized that the person really wasn 't saying what you thought they were saying . The Bible tells us , in the book of James , to be " swift to hear , slow to speak , slow to wrath " ( James 1 : 19 ) . Good fruit is rarely produced in moments of anger . The fact of the matter is that we all need patience . Patience is the fruit that is produced by the Spirit of God . As we go through our trials and our mess ups it is something that we have great need of . I don 't know that there is any better story in the Bible that demonstrates the tragedy that impatience brings to a person 's life than the story of Peter in the garden of Gethsemane the night that Jesus was taken . You can read about it in John 18 and Luke 22 : 49 - 50 . Peter , through his impatience , was the first one to tell Jesus that he would never leave him ; that others might , but that he would not leave him . When the solders came into the garden , Jesus asked them , " Whom seek ye ? " When they said Jesus of Nazareth Jesus , by saying " I am he , " found the solders and the temple police knocked to the ground by His words . The power that was released hit them so hard and fast that they were on their backs before they knew what had happened . While these soldiers were still flat on their backs , Peter decided to take matters into his own hands . Maybe he thought that it w0 Comments In Romans 6 : 16 , the Bible says that " to whom you yield yourself servant to obey , his servant ye are . " Many Christians fail to realize that obedience is God 's love language . If you are going to communicate to God that you love Him , it has to be communicated through what you do and not just what you say . Even Jesus said , " And why call ye me , Lord , Lord , and do not the things which I say ? " ( Luke 4 : 46 ) . I think for a lot of us what we call obedience is simply doing what we want to do and putting a label of obedience on it . But as has been said , a rose by any other name is still a rose . You can call it anything that you like , but one thing is for certain , God knows obedience . He is not necessarily looking at the outward appearance , as he said to Samuel , God looks at the heart . He looks at why you do what you do and not just what you do . So , I am convinced that for some of us that it takes a lifetime to learn how to obey God and to learn that obeying God is loving God . In a parable that Jesus told about a father who had two sons that he asked to go to his fields and work , the older son said , " I go , sir " , but he did not . In essence , he told his father what he wanted to hear , but he did not back it up with action . The second son said , " I will not " and afterwards he changed his mind and went . He said no to his father because that was how he really felt at the moment , but afterwards he repented and went to the field . Jesus asked the question to the Pharisees : " Whether of them twain did the will of his father ? " ( Matthew 21 : 28 - 31 ) . The answer is obvious , the one who actually obeyed . Obeying God is critical to knowing the father 's will . In my years of pastoring , I have talked to hundreds and hundreds of people who have confessed to not knowing what the Will of God is for their life . In most cases , this stems out of a heart of disobedience . Somewhere in their lives they have failed to obey God . Perhaps , it may have been something small and seemed insignificant . Nothing is insignificant to God . From there the gap widens as you Instant Replay We are in the midst of the football season and there are a lot of big games that will be played in the next few weeks . During every game those who are watching them will have the privilege of seeing the big play again through instant replay . On the professional level , when a difficult call has to be made , the officials will often review a play before the official call goes on record . In 2 Timothy 1 : 5 - 6 , the Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy when he was facing some of his biggest obstacles in ministry . Nero , the Roman emperor , was persecuting Christians and many of them were dying for their faith . In the midst of all of that trouble , I am sure that Timothy feared for his life and the future of his church . On the basis of what Paul said to him , he had to be wondering if God was going to keep him in the middle of all that was going on around himSo in verse 5 , he says to Timothy , " when I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee , which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois , and thy mother Eunice ; and I am persuaded that in thee also " , he wanted to remind Timothy about some very important things connected to his heritage . It was like he called a time out for Timothy to get it together . Sometimes we just feel like we need to quit and give up without even trying to win the game . What usually happens during a football game when a team is faced with special challenges or circumstances that the opponent has presented ? The coach will call a time out . The water boy comes running out and brings the players much needed hydration while the coach reminds the team of the strategy . I am sure that you have had situations in your life when it looked completely hopeless , and the power of God quickly stepped in and miraculously turned your situation around . We often fail to remember God 's faithfulness in the past when we are confronted with new challenges in the present . Our faith gets weak because of the problems we are facing right now and we forget that we have gone through circumstances that were similar , or even wor << Previous
|
We order on line . They fresh roast and deliver to our door the following Thursday . It always was really good coffee . Then we got one of these . The coffee got better . Much much better . One cup is much more satisfying than it used to be , so I haven 't been craving that second cup . Some weekends I 'll have a second cup . Even making it in the drip brewer is still pretty good , and french press is really good . I might have to try the reverse french press method I read about , even if it does sound a bit messy . I 've experimented a bit with grind size and think I 've got it about right . We are really pleased with it . This morning was one of those days . I didn 't quite bound out of bed , but I was feeling pretty happy I 'd packed my swim bag . Even though I haven 't been in the pool much lately it was a really good swim . 30 minutes of my usual stuff . Best of all , my legs weren 't even a bit cranky . If I didn 't have stuff to do in the office I 'd have gone for a run , rain and all . By this evening they were a bit tired , but not what I 'd call cranky . Did a good stretching workout with some core stuff . Going to be a busy weekend . Funeral Friday afternoon . Hope to drop in on a buddy I haven 't seen for a long time on Friday evening . Breakfast with another buddy as she flies into and out of town . The lawn MUST be mowed , probably on Saturday , in between rain showers . Lots of other stuff on my to do list . The minor sciatica issues are playing hide and seek . At one point yesterday I was feeling good enough to go for a run , though I didn 't . Then the left leg will be feeling weak and achey . I 'm never quite sure when it will happen . Yoga class was excellent , except for the hour or two we ( they ) spent in intense forward stretch . I bailed . My low back and hamstrings were having none of it . There was a neat flow we haven 't done before with lots of twist stretches . Very nice . I think I 'll ask if we can do it again sometime . When I got home Linda used the stick on the backs of my legs . There is a huge knot in the outside of my right calf . She could feel and hear the crunch as the stick went over it . She worked it back and forth pretty hard . The hams weren 't as tender as I thought , but the backs of the knees were very sensitive . I spasmed every time she went over them . Did a bit of additional stretching tonight , but no active core stuff . I am feeling a bit like the Red Queen , running as hard as I can to stay in the same place . My lists are getting longer . . . The first book I 'm reading is A Conspiracy of Tall Men , buy Noah Hawley . He had me at the title . I like conspiracy theories , and I aspire to be a tall men . I 've just started . The protagonist , a professor of conspiracy theories , is told that his wife , who he thought was in Chicago visiting her mother , died in a plane crash , traveling under a ticket bought by the man in the seat next to her , on a trip to Brazil . The other book is The Swerve : How the World Became Modern , by Stephen Greenblatt . This is a bit more serious reading . I have always wondered why and how the Renaissance happened in Florence . How there was such a huge surge of talent in so many fields that quite literally changed the world in a human lifetime . This book undertakes to explain why , leading back to a single book found in a German monastery . Work stuff doesn 't normally make it 's way in here , but I 've been marinating in some really odd data . All kinds of exceptions to the general rule . The query to get it all is still being built , but is full of " is not null " and " I " OR " O " , is not " N ? A " , is not " MISSING " , and I 'm still going to have to scrub it in XL . Some things are easier there . What happens is that I get lost in it , and I forget to get up and walk , leading to desk hunch . I may well have to set an alarm on my phone and hope I don 't drive my office roomie crazy . The plans have to do with setting a running goal for next year . I 'm seriously considering signing up for a marathon , perhaps even the Calgary Marathon a year from now . So far , I 'm not even thinking about the running . I 'm working hard on fully recovering from cranky legs , and building core strength . I 've got any number of exercises , and found a few more last night . For this week I 'm just working on range of motion stuff , getting used to the movements . Which is good for dealing with desk hunch . Yesterday I 'd asked about two schools of thought on running . The two schools of thought seem to be 1 - Run lots , with periodization , and a variety of speeds and stuff , while trying to stave off overuse injury . 2 Run little but with great intensity along with a variety of other workout stuff . What are your thoughts ? I realize most people probably land somewhere between these two extremes . I especially want to allow for proper recovery , as I 'm an old guy , and I can tell I 'm not recovering as well as even a few years ago . I 've had a couple comments so far ( Thanks Darryl and Janice ! ) and I really am curious about your thoughts on this . Your comments please ! Back many years ago when I worked for the City , I had some sciatica pain . It was bad , so bad that sometimes I could hardly walk . I think it came from too much walking on concrete in ill fitting boots , and not enough stretching and such . It took a bunch of physio sessions to deal with it , then another bout a bit later on , and I 've been good since . One of the guys I worked with was also having the same issues , only he was much further along . They had him scheduled for surgery , and in the meantime he had drugs . One night both of us were in secondary , dragging ourselves around , one step at a time . One tunnel was 220 m long , and it had a twin . Doing the tunnel round was nearly a Km , and this was before they let us have a trike down there . It was a long painful night . We met in the control room , with him looking at a little spherical pill . I can 't take it till I get home , because I can 't drive after taking one pill " . I suggested we split it , and after a bit of back and forth we did . It was the most amazing thing I 've ever felt . Very shortly after I felt like dancing down the tunnel . I was strongly cautioned that the issue was still there . Today I sat too long , hunched over and focussing on something , as the office got colder . I caught on too late , and was really creaky , with sciatica like pain , not my recently normal cranky legs . I did a really good twisting stretch session before supper , and was rewarded with a massive " CLUNK " in my back . Within a few minutes I was feeling like normal again , and did a core session after supper . Then came the dancing . About 3 / 4 of the way through class I started pooping out . It was getting painful . I just barely managed to finish class . I did a bit more stretching when I got home , and I can tell my back isn 't sure what to think . Time for bed . Been reading about running , and while there seems to be two schools of thought on running better , one thing they all agree on is that core strength is critical . The two schools of thought seem to be 1 - Run lots , with periodization , and a variety of speeds and stuff , while trying to stave off overuse injury . 2 Run little but with great intensity along with a variety of other workout stuff . What are your thoughts ? Oh , and just after dance class I found out I have a funeral to go to on Friday . If you used to work at Skystone and don 't know , email me or leave a comment . So young . I missed Darryl by THAT much ! He 's a speedy guy . I was trying to get to the Marathon half way by 90 minutes chip time , and was a few minutes late . I never did see him . But what 's important to me is that I did see my buddy Lori . She was sure happy to see me . I think she 'd been struggling a bit . " What was I thinking , to say see me at 35 K ? " she asked . I hung around there a bit admiring the aid station energy , then zoomed up to the pedestrian overpass over Memorial , just near Crowchild . I missed Darryl again . This time Lori was smiling so I think she was feeling better . She was running a bit behind the 3 : 50 pace bunny . I noticed there was a bit of a herd on the way out , but on the way back there was only one person with the bunny . I guess that 's where the going gets tough . Lori came back for 35 K , and was happy to see some cookies . We chatted a bit as she walked for a minute , then she finished it off . I hope she 's happy with her result . It was a perfect day for a run , cool and sunny . In spite of making note of some bib numbers I didn 't see anyone else I was looking for , though I did see Martin Parnell going by in his lacrosse uniform . Seeing all those people out running and walking 42 . 2 K is sort of inspiring me . Since I 've started running ( that word ) I 'd thought about doing a marathon . I 'm not sure IMC counts as " doing " a marathon . I certainly didn 't run all the way . It 's interesting watching the different running styles . Some people plod along , and you wonder how they got that far . Others don 't seem to be doing anything , yet zoom along . At 35 K one guy had a really good sunburn going ; he won 't be happy when he gets home . Neither will that one woman when she gets into the shower ; she needs a better sports bra . This was a bit of an experiment , to ride my hybrid up to Mount Royal , then up to Memorial , then all the way home . It 's my first outdoor ride this year . I figured if my legs complained I could always get on the LRT to get most of the way home . There were a few twinges , but nothing serious . Going easy it was 45 minutes from downtown to home . This is faster than way back in the day when I rode home after work sometimes . Then 50 minutes would leave me gasping and sweaty and half knackered . After getting home I had a light lunch and stretched a bit , then mused about going for a run . After dithering a bit I headed out . This was to be a short easy run . Imagine my surprise when run meter told me the first K was done in 4 : 42 ! And even more when the second was 3 : 50 ! Even my dream self doesn 't believe those numbers . I reset it , and started over . When my stopwatch said 4 : 59 , Runmeter proudly told me I 'd done the first K in 1 : 58 . At that point I just ignored it . When I 'd run 20 minutes altogether , trying to go easy and keep the heart rate low , I stopped and walked it home . Stretched after . Oh , I didn 't mention about the heart rate monitor , did I . Normally I don 't wear one when I run anymore . I 'm usually pretty good at knowing where I am , and occasionally , well , often , the heart rate numbers are whacked . Like today , it was saying my heart rate was 185 bpm near the start of my run . Which is a total lie . I 'd be horizontal and spasming if that were true . Eventually it sort of sorted itself out and gave me a believable number part of the time . I watched it for a bit , bouncing between 62 and 145 . At least that last number was a possibility . Every now and then I think about money . If there is one thing I 've heard over the years , it 's people complaining they don 't make enough money . Is that you ? There are two parts to the issue , money in , and money out . MI / MO . Back when I read the Globe and Mail there was a feature where some money people analyzed a families finances . Eventually I stopped reading because I got sick of reading about these people with a huge income , who were all " woe is me , I have no money " , and then reading about the stupid shit they spend money on . They had the first part nailed , but blew the second . So I 'm going to go all rantity rant rant rant on you all about money . And time . I know for a fact that one reader and her husband are very wealthy by Canadian standards , and not just in real estate . None of this will be new to her . Go have a nice cup of tea , unless you want to read on and be amused the way I re - say some of the things you 've said . A few of my readers are probably millionaires in net worth , but a big chunk of that is their home or other real estate . Little of this will be new to them , though they might not be able to articulate it . Many of my readers are young , some with children at home , and they don 't realize that the financial world is actively out to screw them . You need to read every word . Twice . Then , like they say for training , get off your ass and do it . Money is a tool . For the purposes of our discussion it is used as a way of exchanging value . Most of us give some of our time to an employer in exchange for money , and we use that money to buy things we want . Those things might be a week 's groceries for your family , or someone to come and fix your roof . This is much more convenient than Penn West giving me several barrels of oil every day . The seductive thing about money is that it is somewhat imaginary . I remember a world where people paid cash or wrote cheques for every purchase . They knew how much money they had at all times , sometimes to the dollar . Credit cards were only for the very wealthy . Some of the very first commercials I saw on ( black and white ) television were for Chargex cards . Now , many people pay for a purchase by sliding a card into a reader and tapping in a few numbers . A minute later they are on their way with their new stuff . They do not know how much money they have . Then they wonder why the MI / MO thing isn 't working . It is , just not in your favour , and that my friend , is the way the world is built . It 's built to keep you somewhat on the negative side of that equation , so you have to borrow the money to make it balance . The banks are happy to lend you the difference , and charge you interest . INTEREST . The word of doom and the word of freedom . It all depends which way that equation is pointed . The first step towards getting that equation balanced is to reduce the interest you pay to the absolute minimum , and to maximize the interest that is paid to you . What do you pay interest on ? Debt . Most debt is bad , and some is worse than others . The only debt that is good is on an appreciating asset , IF AND ONLY IF , it isn 't driving you into other debt . The classic example of good debt is a mortgage to buy a house . It appreciates in value over time , or did . Recently this is a considerably trickier calculation . Houses don 't always appreciate in value now . More later . You may have heard the expression " house poor " . This applies to people who max out their mortgage to buy the biggest house possible . In the mean time they are nibbled to death by ducks because they don 't have enough money for other stuff , leading to other debt , which gradually starts the slippery slope . It might be ok in the very short term . Note that owning more money than the house is worth is not necessarily a show stopper . As long as you can afford the mortgage , and the market turns around , you 'll be fine . If you lose your job or even have to take a pay cut , you are screwed . Just about anything else is bad debt . A car is not an appreciating asset . It 's transportation . If you are this close to the edge you shouldn 't be buying or leasing a car . More on this later . So called consumer debt is the kiss of death . Did you ever see that bad science fiction movie where the alien in the cute girl disguise kisses the guy and the tentacle comes out her mouth and down his throat to kill him ? That is consumer debt in action . Credit cards are brutally bad ; pay them off even if you have to miss a meal or two . Payday loans . Ordinary bank loans . Overdraft fees . Home equity loans . Service charges . This is where those oh so clever people are working hardest to suck you in . You want to move heaven and earth to get rid of bad debt . Whatever it takes . I 'm serious . You need to be a ruthless predator , hunting down debt and things that cost you money , and eliminate them . Otherwise you 'll be the one getting eaten alive . What do you get paid interest on ? Theoretically , money you have in a bank account , except the interest rate is so low it 's below inflation . More practically , monetary investments , such as stocks , bonds , mutual funds , and other such things . You won 't be there for a while yet , but that 's the goal . To have money you can set aside to earn more money for you . In short , especially when you are young , you need to put a fair bit of effort into reducing the interest you pay . At first it hardly seems to matter . What 's a few dollars , you ask ? That 's what they want you to think . They add up over time . Those few dollars you saved by renegotiating your mortgage rate down a quarter percent will add up very quickly if you apply it to the principle . You need to take the long view when it comes to money matters . For almost all Canadian readers , an RSP is a must . That is what started me from being behind , to getting ahead . I was being careful with money , and suddenly noticed I had a couple thousand dollars I didn 't have an immediate need for . I was making pretty good money , so putting it into an RSP got me about one third of it back as an income tax refund . Now , read this carefully . That refund went into the next year 's RSP contribution , and I got a further one third back . That continued several years , always putting in more money , plus my refund from the previous tax year . I had lots of RSP contribution room to use up . Once you get the feedback loop going it 's amazing . One year my refund was over $ 10K ! Go back and read that again . I am assuming that you are on the wrong side of that MI / MO equation . Go back and read it again . Remember what I said about being a predator , looking for debt ? You are not lifestyles of the rich and famous . They have their own problems . Your problem is to ignore the messaging from the rich , who want you to spend your money in their shops , and for a fee lend you the money to do it . Their rules are not yours . You are not going to be one of them any time soon , and will never be unless you change . The bank and the credit card company are not your friend . The first step is to start cutting your spending . Much of what you think is essential is not . Cable TV is the first thing to go . ( But keep the internet ! ) It 's often the medium the world uses to implant the " BUY " message in your brain . Turn it off . Cancel your cable subscription . This does two things , saves you a small pile of money , and frees up a big chunk of time . More on that later too . If you really must watch your show , get it from the library . Wait a year or two . Yeah , life is hard all over . Suck it up . You are on a mission here . This is going to be harsh . Stop giving a shit about what your neighbours think , or what image you are presenting to the world . Those little treats , as you think of it ? A coffee , a snack , that cute top , those boots , whatever ? Stop . You can 't afford them . There are a million little traps the world sets to separate you from your money . It 's a lot of work to not fall into them . Some very , very clever people have designed them , and made it easier to fall in , than to go around . You need to be THAT GUY . That jerk that says no . Because that 's what you have to do to get on the right side of that equation . Say no . A lot . To yourself . To your spouse . To your deadbeat relative . To your kids . Especially to your kids , maybe . Every time you think about buying something , your first question is , " Must I ? " Not want , must . In the case of your debts , current bills , and groceries and other essentials , the answer is yes . Even then , you try to make this amount as small as possible , except paying debts , make that as big as possible . If it 's not a must , it 's a want , and then the question is " Can I afford it ? " If you are trying to get the equation going the other way , you probably can 't . You are in make do territory . You must be all about deferred gratification . Make the hard calls to get stuff sorted out . No matter that you are a whiney spoiled brat who has never had to defer gratification . If you cannot defer gratification , you will never be well off , let alone rich ; you will always be owned by the rich . Your choice . Much later the question for the wants gets harder . It becomes " Do I want to afford it ? " This is where you want to be . No , you are not there yet , reading this . You will be there when you have 6 months gross income in various near cash investments , and your only debt is a mortgage . It might take years . Start today . It will go quicker than you think . The second step is the income side . Now that you 've stopped watching cable TV ( You have stopped , right ? If you haven 't , this part isn 't going to work . ) you have some time freed up . The average viewer watches 4 hours of TV a day . You are going to do a few specific things with that time . One is get some exercise , preferably with your family , even if it 's a brisk walk . This will help get your brain going , and get you into better health . Another is to make yourself more valuable in the short term to the people that pay you money . There are many ways to learn things that will make you more valuable . Aimless internet cruising won 't cut it , but it can be a valuable tool for learning . The public libraries are free , or nearly so , and have the advantage of being staffed with people that LOVE it when people ask questions . A question like " I want to know more about x " where x is something you are interested in , will make their day . They will help you set up a course of study if only you ask and will be happy to do it . That 's why they became librarians . Go ahead , make their day . Another is learn to cook and get " fast food " out of your life . We have to eat . Much of what 's in the supermarket is bad for us . Learn about nutrition . Learn how to cook if you don 't know . You may have to invest in some cooking tools , and spend more in the short term buying groceries . Compare that to buying lunch every day at work . If you get a sandwich and a drink for $ 10 you 're doing well . Times 250 working days a year is $ 2500 , times a 30 year working career is $ 75 , 000 ! That goes a long way to buying groceries . We 've done this for years . We make dinner for 4 or more . Then take it to work the next day . People say " leftovers " as if it 's a bad thing . It should be a point of pride . I 've had people smelling what I take out of the microwave at work , and offering to trade . Linda is a good cook , and people say they don 't have time to cook . Bullshit . Factor that into the time you used to watch TV . Never buy fast food again . It 's bad for you , and expensive for what you get . Books are probably the single greatest invention of our civilization . For the effort of opening a book and reading , you can find out what some of the smartest people who have ever lived thought about various subjects . Once you get a bit of money , you could do much worse than read about Warren Buffet thinks about investing . It 's all there on paper . This can start off by learning how to use software more efficiently . This will save time at work , meaning you can get the same work done more quickly , which ought to be good for your performance reviews . I 'd suggest it 's time well spent learning some details about how our financial system is designed to screw you over , if only to make it easier to understand why you are saying no a lot . But the real payoff is learning more about what interests you , that with any luck leads to things that people will pay you to do . There are many high priced courses that purport to give you some certification . That information is often available for free with a bit of digging . You may be able to challenge certification exams without having taken the courses . I guarantee this investment in yourself will pay off . Knowledge always pays off , but you can 't predict where or when . At worst it will let you do your day job with less effort , meaning you can put more into other activities . Better , it will pay more money and lead to promotion . Best , it gets you into a situation where you get well paid to do the things you love to do . Cars are one of the biggest financial traps if you do them badly . To be honest I don 't know a lot about this . My goal is to mitigate the damage . Our strategy is to buy a good quality car that meeds our needs ( not wants ) maintain it carefully , and drive it till the wheels fall off . Our current car is a 2004 Honda Accord with almost 236 , 000 K ( 146 , 600 miles ) on it . A previous Accord went 340 , 000 K . We have only one car , which many of our friends find baffling . When we think that a car costs roughly $ 8K a year to buy and maintain , it 's worth a bit of planning and using alternative transportation . Do you really need 2 or more cars ? Really ? Are you sure ? Do you need a car at all ? I hear you talking about driving kids to activities . Uhuh . There are two parts to that . Drive , and activities . Think it through . Are you doing what you want to do , or doing what society has sold you into thinking you should do ? Buying a good used car is also a viable strategy , if you do your research . There used to be a class of guys that bought near junkers because they could fix them up and nurse them along . That doesn 't happen so much anymore , what with all the computers in modern cars . If you are scrambling to get on the right side of that equation , you may well want to sell your car to use public transportation , or a bicycle , or your own feet . A car can save you time , and be convenient , at a price . If you can 't afford it , you are better spending the time . After all , one can read a book on the bus , and that book could be about improving yourself . Which gets me to the time and money trade off . One of the things you need to know is how long you have to work to put a dollar in your pocket to spend as you please . That 's how you have to think . Figure out how long you have to work to earn each net dollar off your paycheque . Then figure out what your mandatory spend is , and figure out how long you have to work for each discretionary dollar that 's left . I 'm pretty sure the number will shock you . Now , when you think about buying some " treat " , you do a bit of math and think time , not money . That coffee and snack isn 't $ 10 , it might be an hour on the job , or it might be 200 hours . Is it worth it ? It used to be buying a house was a good deal , and worth going into debt for . It might take 25 years to pay off , but it would go up in value . That was then . When we bought this house nearly 30 years ago , it cost about 1 . 3 or 1 . 4 times our annual income . Our incomes have gone up , but house values have gone up faster . Now that same house is somewhere between 2 . 2 and 2 . 5 times our income . Good for us , not so good for the people trying to buy now . Buying a house isn 't always the right thing to do . It 's good if you can afford it , and plan to stay there for a while . It 's not good if you 're just starting your career and may have to move often . The financial people can manipulate the numbers to make it look like buying is cheaper than renting . All I can say is this is one place where it 's nearly impossible to do too much research . You need to know the math about mortgage interest , and all the other financial costs of a house or condo . It 's very difficult to determine what the actual value of a house is , both monetary and emotional . Right now , in many markets , homes are over valued . I would advise extreme caution about buying a house or condo . In another rant I talked about the price of a bargain . I won 't go into it here , but if you 're looking to get onto the right side of the MI / MO equation you have to be careful what you buy . Often the " cheapest " product is not the best deal . There is an S shaped graph that equates quality and cost . Cheap shit is cheap quality and it will break soon . Guaranteed . As you spend a bit more money , you get more features and usually the quality goes up as well . The quality goes up quicker than the cost . At some point you reach the end of the major increases in quality , and the price starts going up much more than the quality does . I think the trick is to buy near the top of that S shaped curve starts flattening out . The aim is to get the best bang for the buck . Whatever it is will last much longer . All this presupposes you know what you actually need and want . Not what the advertisers are trying to sell you . Oh no . You turned that off , remember ? One major rule is that all advertising is a trick to separate you from your money . That 's one thing you will do with the time freed up by not watching TV , is think about what you actually need to live life in the way that makes you and your family happy . We don 't have children . When I listen to people talking about their children , all too often it 's about buying stuff . But children don 't want stuff till they 've been brainwashed by advertisers . They want you . Your time . Not the stuff you buy . Lots of people have found they don 't need possessions to be happy . They don 't need a lot of money . That it 's more important to have time to spend with family and friends , doing the things you enjoy . Going through the effort ( and it will be effort , no doubt about it ) is probably one of the most important things you can do for yourself . Do it . Start today . Where did all this come from ? A particular blogger a little while ago asked " Do you guys have any good money - saving tips ? " There are some points below that I didn 't mention in my rant above , particularly coupons . Yeah . Don 't shop . Ignore advertising . Get books , movies from the library . Making wine from a kit is $ 3 - 4 a bottle , and is better than commercial wine . Don 't ever , ever buy wine from a restaurant . You don 't mention credit cards - pay them off in full every month , without exception . Do without wine if you must . Never eat fast food , it 's expensive for being cheap . Buy real food instead . Learn how to cook , which I admit is a two edged sword . You 'll save on prepared stuff , but kitchen toys can be expensive . Still , better for you in the long run . When you buy stuff , if you really must , buy good quality and take care of it . The bonus of this approach is that you need never darken Walmart 's door again . All they have is cheap . And coupons . Bah ! I say it again , BAH ! The whole point of coupons is to make you buy shit you wouldn 't normally buy . Stuff you don 't like even , you buy saying to yourself , what a deal . Bah ! The only deal is not spending money unless you must . On stuff you really need , and that you happen to like . Unfortunately for you , the world is designed to set you up for failure . Right now it pays you shite while you look at paying back student loans and buying stuff . They are trying to get you hooked into paying interest , and you 'll go on paying interest the rest of your life unless you take control now . This means moving heaven and earth to stop paying interest . Ever . And get yourself into a state where they pay you interest . It won 't happen overnight . It won 't happen from couponing . That list , booze , Amazon , coffee . Stop . Just stop , or cut down dramatically . Internet I say keep , for two reasons . Infinite entertainment there , but more importantly , it 's a tool to increase the amount of money coming in . Part of your life should be making yourself more valuable , so that people with money want to pay you to do stuff for them . The better you are at this , the more money you will make . After a while , you won 't need to work so much to make an acceptable amount of money , and you can spent the time doing things you like . With any luck , internet use will find you things you like doing , that people will pay you to do . Which is a bonus , but it won 't happen if you prepare by sipping wine and shopping at amazon . So BITCH UP ! Take control . At your age you are in a rat race and you need every edge . Debt and interest you pay are millstones around your neck , holding you down . You asked . One thing you should absolutely know is how long it takes you to earn money . Not your gross . How long do you have to work to put a particular amount of money in your pocket ? That way when the stupidly overpriced , over - flavoured , sugary beverage that ostensibly contains coffee is on your mind , you can say , I have to work x many minutes to buy that coffee . Is it worth it ? An example . Lets say you get paid $ 25 an hour , and you work 40 hours a week , 50 weeks of the year . That 's $ 50K , a nice round number . Let 's further say you pay 30 % of that in various taxes and other deductions . Income is down to $ 35K . Divide by 2000 working hours a year is $ 17 . 50 an hour . Or 34 minutes to earn $ 10 . Now for the graduate course . Start stripping out your mandatory payments to find your disposable income , that is , income you can choose how you dispose of it . Now do those same calculations again , based on your full years working time , and you will suddenly discover that $ 10 in your pocket you can spend as you please , might take 2 or 3 or more hours to earn . Excel is your friend for these sorts of calculations . Lastly , do you now know what you actually spend money on ? To the nickel ? Start tracking it . Write down everything you spend in a month . Every nickel . What you spent it on , and how , ( cash , debit , credit ) . Sometimes just the act of having to write it down will stop you from spending . No , not me , I 'm not doing a marathon . Not this one . Some of my buddies are , though , and I 'm just scoping out the route , and thinking about where to cheer from . Hope everybody has a great race ! Lots to do this weekend , left over from last weekend 's list that I didn 't quite finish . There 's one flower box that has just a bit of root sorting to go . I was on a final push to finish it last weekend , when I realized I 'd been out in the sun for 5 hours , and I was done . My legs have been getting less and less cranky , which is making me more and more happy . It 's a pity it 's pouring out right now . If it was nice I 'd have gone for a run , but I don 't want to run so much as to run in the cold rain . Funny , I 'll run in snow and much colder , as long as it 's a dry cold . A wet cold is just no fun at all . So I was indoors on the bike . Only a half hour , mostly brisk spin to get the blood moving in my legs , then a good core and stretch session . Stability plank feels much better , and I can even do the side plank X again . Push ups even . The two major Canadian political farces are still playing out . Ford , the Toronto mayor who several reporters say they 've seen a video of him smoking crack , doesn 't deny it , just sort of parses around it in weasely terms . I think he knows the video is out there and will surface sooner or later . Oddly enough , even if the video does surface , there are no provisions to remove him as mayor until he is actually convicted . If he is convicted . Which leads to a quickie side rant . What is it with public figures getting caught by an open microphone , or clandestine video ? These people have to realize they are public figures , with a press corp or general public that will often take delight in publishing unflattering footage . Don 't they assume every mike is recording , and there could be a video camera anywhere ? Why would you do something so stupid as to smoke crack with known drug dealers ? At best it renders you subject to blackmail , and that may well be the case here . There was Romney getting caught telling his truth , or what he thought was the truth to that particular audience . Whatever happened to " Always tell the truth , that way you don 't have to remember what you said . " Much as I would not like to have a camera in my face , we 're living in a world where that 's the reality . From the moment I walk in the front door , to the moment I leave the elevator lobby , I 'm under video surveillance . I 'm pretty sure there isn 't a camera pointed at my computer screen , but I behave as is there was . More and more of our public lives either is , or has the potential to be recorded . Cops have cameras in their cars . Some bouncers have little mini cameras attached to head sets . There are CCTV cameras in the streets . In some cases I like it , since it can be a documentary record that hopefully puts a cramp on abuse of police power . However I worry that incriminating evidence is tampered with , or " lost " . The ClusterDuff continues . I lost track of it today , and haven 't bothered getting back on track just yet . Suffice to say the stories still do not add up . Now it seems that in addition to supplying $ 90K to get Duffy off the hook , Wright also provided some input on what the Senate committee report should say . And if Harper didn 't have is finger in that pie , it must be the first pie ever . Now that they look at it , there seems to be even more stuff he was claiming that he shouldn 't . Maybe it 's not on the scale of the moat cleaning claimed by one English Peer , but still . It 's proof that nobody is above having their expense claims examined . In really important news , we 've been combing the cats daily now that the nice weather is here , and we 've been getting great clouds of fur off both of them . More off Curtis , of course . His fur was a bit coarse , but not it 's considerably more silky and soft . We think a year of good living finally has the good fur growing in . There is a new brand of wet food in the house . We will see what the little gourmands think of it tomorrow . This morning 's swim was pretty good , for having missed several weeks worth of swim because of a complicated schedule . Mainly I got wet and swam for a while . Did a bit of water running , and swam a couple of medium fast laps , then some backstroke to cool down . The clock was too far away to see , but from starting and stopping times I 'm guessing I was in the water 20 minutes or so . At work I 'm trying to get up regularly to move around and keep my legs mobile . That failed once , when both my office roomie and I realized at the same time we were freezing . The temperature seems to dip in the office early afternoon . Yoga was brutal . Not our instructor ! It was a perfectly nice lesson plan , but I bailed on just about everything . My left hamstrings were not happy with me , sending out pre - cramp notes of complaint . Even Savasana , I couldn 't wait for it to be over . My left leg was twitching and thrashing around . Not restful at all . But I didn 't care . It 's a beautiful summery evening here , perfect for a run . A bit gusty for a bike ride , though and getting worse . Clear blue sky . I had to run . Thoroughly limbered up , and walked a bit . Then ran 5 K , 33 : 42 nice and easy , concentrating on form . My shoulders wanted to slump ; maybe I need to be doing more of the rowing exercise . The run meter graph is all over the place , and I don 't think my pace varied that much . There were a few tickles , I 'll call them , in my calves . It felt like someone was brushing the backs of my calves lightly with something with prickles . I 've never that that before . Otherwise my legs were slow to warm up , and I didn 't push . My left calf was feeling a bit tight throughout . I remain appalled at the mess in Ottawa , and much less than pleased that my MP is ignoring the whole issue as much as possible . He is the one with the most stroke in determining what happens . Now he 's flying off to Peru to work out a trade deal . The 3 . 1 Billion is still missing . This group of facts had better not be related . Today I was out digging up and excavating roots from a flower box . One set was nearly 6 feet long . Roots appear to grow right through the wood . I was at it for 5 hours straight , and darn it , I 'm counting it as a workout . It sure feels like one in every sense but cardio . Twitter has been going crazy with the shit show in Ottawa . I didn 't think anything else was going to happen till Tuesday . I was wrong . Never underestimate the stupidity of the elected . Read that bottom tweet from the recently elected Calgary Centre MP . She is the one that said she would do whatever the PM told her to do , so I 'm guessing this is a precursor to the official government response . It probably isn 't the stupidest thing that could be said , but it 's right up there . The responses have been savage . It was worth getting a Twitter account for this thread alone . Something that occurred to me is that it 's rumoured that lawyers were involved in the deal that saw Wright cut that cheque . Since bribing an elected official is illegal , wouldn 't the lawyers involved be abetting a crime ? Shouldn 't they be facing ( at least ) disciplinary proceedings from their professional association ? It boggles my mind that every time I think we 've hit a temporary stable point , another piece of shit hits the fan . Tuesday all the players should be in the same building , and it will be interesting to see what comes out . The least acceptable response is for Duffy to apologize , resign from the Senate , and pay back ( himself ) everything he 's taken from the Canadian taxpayer since being appointed , since he accepted the post under fraudulent circumstances . Then the RCMP can arrest him . What I 'd like to see is a replica of his head on a pike to warn the others . What I expect to see is another insult to Canadians . What a nice long weekend it 's being ! Originally it was supposed to pour rain the whole time , which is better than snow , but it 's been pretty reasonable . A few rain showers , enough take the edge off the fire danger . Friday we went to a Food Truck street fair at Kingsland market , and I finally got to sample Cheezy Bizness . I had a very yummy pulled pork with a mix of cheese on it . There was a huge crowd , and everyone seemed to be having a good time . Saturday we were off to OEB for breakfast with a buddy , but she never made it . I guess I should have confirmed that it was THIS Saturday or next , but I just assumed . If it 's next , we 'll just have to FORCE ourselves to go back . Here 's what I had . Did you guess what 's between the slices of French Toast ? Cheesecake . Yes . It was very good . I was very pleased to get a coffee compliment from Linda , saying she likes my coffee better than what they were serving , and I had thought it was fairly good . Later Saturday I was out for a run , 5K , 33 : 30 . I 'm still letting my legs run however they like . I 'm not trying to run fast or slow , but I am trying to run lightly on my feet , and paying attention to form . It ended up being a pretty steady 6 : 30 / K pace , not working too hard , and feeling good the entire time . I could have gone further . Here 's the Runmeter graph . I don 't know what I was doing in the last few minutes of the run . I didn 't think I was going that fast . The rest of it I 'm pretty pleased with . Long stretch session after . Sunday was a two coffee day . Two HUGE cups of coffee . I was on the edge of vibrating . The bike session was the best in about a year or so . I felt very strong on the bike today . Maybe that was just the caffeine talking . Easy warmup , then steady state at the top of endurance pace , then some bursts maintaining + 100 rpm going up through the gears trying to maintain easy circular pedaling up to well over 400 watts . This is the hardest I 've pushed on the bike in a long time . I like a good sweat , but I was starting to feel a bit clammy instead , and I could feel a bit of tummy upset coming one , so I cooled down and packed it in . One very solid hour . For a while Celina was cheering me on from her perch in the window . Again , getting in a good stretch session afterward . At the end my legs were tired . So tired I had to bend over all the way to undo my shoes . I couldn 't get them up to my knee like I usually do . But there were no niggles , no almost cramping , and my knee was fairly happy about standing . The left leg is still weaker than the right , as proved by some one leg drill . Improvement is happening . The other adventure today was putting Curtis in the big sink , and washing his nether bits . He has long fine fur , and occasionally some matts form . We washed and trimmed . Not much fun for all involved . The shit - show in Ottawa is still on full boil . I 've never been a big Rex Murphy fan , but he absolutely ripped a layer of skin off all involved . Enjoy . This will probably prompt a blog or two more as things sort themselves out . We certainly can 't rely on Harper to , contrary to his own published statements . I think worse of him all the time , and he didn 't start particularly high in the standings . If you 're a twitter user , and think so , you may wish to use the # PMHarperMustResign tag on Monday . I don 't think that will happen , but maybe an outcry will force some honesty . Trying can 't hurt . I 've even had a chance to work on my book today , for the first time in a while . This blog is already long enough . Maybe I 'll do an excerpt tomorrow . Things are going well , thank you for asking . I hope they continue to go well , and have tried to make prudent plans about that , while having fun now . My legs are generally less cranky by the day , and everything else internally seems to be well . I was recently reading that if I can hang on 20 years or so , we 'll have a confluence of nanotechnology and genetic biotech that will enable us to all live substantially longer in good health . Me in particular , in case you were wondering . I plan to be as close to the front of the line as possible . Things will be wearing out . The problem is that the world seems to be going to hell in a hand cart . Why a hand cart ? Because the pipelines and storage tanks leak , so there is no gasoline for an auto car . My only reassurance is that things have been going to hell for generations according to various authors throughout history , and yet nobody until very recently carried around an iPhone . Or , given a slightly longer time frame , had reliable hot showers and flush toilets , which is one of the major hallmarks of a civilized society . I note the Burg Dubai has a fleet of tanker trucks to empty the septic tanks beneath the building . I guess they haven 't figured out how to build a sanitary sewer system yet . One of the recent examples that one of my high school teachers gloated over was The Club of Rome . They noted that population went up geometrically , and food supplies only went up arithmetically . The teacher gloated that would leave us starving about the time he kicked the bucket . The laugh is upon him , however , as two things happened . The food supply went up through the green revolution and other changes , and lifespans increased . As far as I know he 's still around , probably being a pain in the ass to his children and grand children , if any . That 's the thing . Throughout all of history there has been a persistent " Doom is upon us " school of writing . Generally the " solutions " proposed are to make things worse for people here and now as a sign of devotion to god . Which is idiotic , but that 's all of a piece . Another school of writing is to propose a solution that directly or indirectly benefits the proposer , while making things worse for everybody else . The religious get in on this act too but there are no shortage of secular con people willing to give it a try . There is a great deal of it happening now . There is a much smaller school of thought noting there are problems , and they might get worse , or not , and that it might be prudent to do certain things , or stop doing certain other things . There are usually a lot of numbers in this school of thought , which makes the great unwashed masses very uneasy . Generally this school of thought gets overlooked till it 's much too late . Sometimes there is a new invention out of the deal that clearly solves old problems , and then later introduces new problems . There are nay - sayers that say this proves that technology is a bad thing , and we shouldn 't try new things , because they create new problems . They conveniently overlook that they would have starved to death , or died in a plague , or been tortured to death by religious fanatics had the old technology not been put into use . In case you missed it , the three I 'm referring to are agriculture , modern medicine , and the printing press . Of course , there is lots of doom for the " doom is upon us " crowd to point to . You don 't even need to fudge your numbers or edit your sources . There is no shortage of shit happening , and problems that need solving . Idiot politicians are only the most obvious problem . I am reassured that about half of the smartest people that have ever lived are alive right now , and have access to information sources that people a generation ago couldn 't even dream of . When we have to , we can build amazing stuff . Three words , Spirit , Opportunity , and Curiosity . They hoped the those first two rovers would last 90 Sols . Spirit was alive for about 2200 Sols , about 24 times longer than expected . Opportunity is just starting it 's 10th YEAR , or 3300 Sols , about 36 times longer than expected . Curiosity survived a sky crane descent onto Mars that boggled my mind . Some engineer buddies of mine were in awe about it . There was so much that could go wrong . Until very recently , stupidity has always been a capital crime . Historically speaking , stupidity got you killed very quickly . Even just being unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time got you killed . Even just talking to the wrong person could get you killed . It 's a Darwinian process . Generally speaking the smart and the lucky survived to breed . If it wasn 't a plague , it was a war , or a revolution , or religious hysteria , or a famine , or climate change , or any number of other things . We are smart enough now , and well organized enough to mostly deal with most of those things . We are getting on the flu bugs quicker , and the world has never been more peaceful than it is now . There are easily enough calories being produced to give everyone on earth all the food they need , if only we stopped losing so much by cycling a significant part of through cows for beef . We 're still trying to get a grip on climate change , but the problem isn 't the science , it 's the idiots sabotaging the discussion at every opportunity , and going over the top to prevent anything from actually being done . Because , of course , they profit from things the way they are . Duh . One thing I never in my life expected to see , I got a photo of the other day on the way home from work . Look carefully at what the window washers are wearing . Of course , the first thing I thought of was an old movie called Carry on Up the Khyber . Meanwhile the press is fixated on Duffy . Which , under normal circumstances is commendable . After all , here is a senior public official who is a crook . A thief . A fraud artist . Well , not terribly artistic , I guess . And now he 's been bribed with $ 90 , 000 . I 'm guessing it wasn 't in cash , but who knows for sure ? Well , that 's what you call it when you give money to a public official . Just another example of what a disgrace our Senate is , and what poor judgement our Dear Leader has . Duffy should be ridden out of the Senate on a rail , AND be made to pay back his Senate salary for the entire time . Why ? The rules state you have to be resident in the province you represent , and he isn 't . He took the job under false pretenses . But I haven 't heard much about that missing 3 . 1 Billion dollars . That 's more gazebos that even Tony Clement can build in one riding . Peter MacKay would have to spend much of it on helicopter maintenance just to get them to fly enough to give him more rides for that kind of money . The longer we don 't hear about a resolution , the more I think it was stolen by those in charge . And how about those poll companies , eh ? I love it when they have egg on their faces ! First the Alberta election that they got wrong . Now a BC one . Not just wrong by a few points or a few seats , but totally miscalling which party was going to form a majority government . Why would anyone ever hire them again ? As one Tweeter said , either their methodology is wrong , or people are lying to them . I say bully for the liars in this instance . Most people don 't even want to talk to pollsters . They aren 't supposed to call cell phones , so they still try to reach people on land lines . I 'm sure they call our number often . It 's why we have it , to give out to people we don 't want to talk to . It 's worth the monthly fee . We never answer it . We don 't even twitch anymore when it rings , unless we 're actually expecting a call . It has happened that pollsters do get me every once in a while . There are two basic strategies I highly recommend . The first is to creatively lie , giving conflicting data if possible . The second is to ask if the data they want is valuable . They always assure me that yes , it is valuable . Then I tell them my per question rate ( $ 25 ) and ask if they have an account set up with me . Usually the questioner retires in confusion , but some press on gamely . To them I will give nonsensical answers , like 42 , blue , Diefenbaker , cricket , or whatever random information comes to mind . If all of us did this , eventually the polling companies would go out of business . Politicians would actually have to talk to people to understand what we want done with our money . Political parties would have to campaign blind , going all out in all ridings . News organizations would have to wait for actual results . Maybe without the poll results to skew people 's thinking , they would actually vote for the person they think would do the best job , as opposed to voting for the person the polls say will win , so they don 't " waste " their vote . I speak of conical burr grinders . Or rather , one of them that arrived Monday . We tried it out Tuesday in the French press . Oh my goodness . Everything people said about them being the foundation of good coffee is true . We beg forgiveness for being so slow in seeing the light . All the instructions call for a bit more coffee that what we normally use , and I guessed at the grind . Bingo ! It tasted like good strong coffee , but no bitterness , no acid bite , no sharpness . Just coffee that is somehow strong and mellow at the same time , according to Linda . The old whirly coffee grinder was very inconsistent . This burr grinder makes the coffee grounds look almost fluffy . When the hot water is poured over them the bloom is huge , and the aroma is amazing . Can 't wait for the coffee tomorrow . More leg pummeling happened at massage . Hams and calves were a bit tight , but nothing compared to what they have been recently . This is more along the line of regular tight muscles . I 'd been thinking of running tonight , before I realized I had the massage appointment , and don 't think running right after is a good idea . Instead I did a good stretching and rolling session , with some core stuff . Side plank is way better now , I can even get the top leg up into the air for a few seconds . That 's a huge improvement . Ordinary plank felt stable for the first time in a while . I 've been thinking about @ Cmdr _ Hadfield . The various news magazines should just declare him Man of the Year for 2013 , and get it over with . How is anyone going to top the last 5 months ? Astronauts are a seriously talented fast crowd , and even in that company he looked like Gretzky and Orr combined . For a little while , he has made Canada , and Canadians just a bit cooler , in spite of all the ShitHarperDid . Is doing . You have to believe he has inspired at least a few kids to take up a career in science or space related fields . He has sure as hell impressed a lot of adults . More seriously though , what does he do next ? Here he is in his early 50 's , in every way at the peak of his career , and has now come back to earth . At least it was a controlled descent . I can 't wait to see what he gets up to . Stampede is coming around again . I 've already seen people ( shudder ! ) dressed for it . There 's more than a month to go , for goodness sake . There 's a fine difference between people dressed for Stampede , and people that wear Western wear as a regular thing . If you have to ask , I can 't explain it . There are many emotions that go with Stampede . Today 's is horror . I 've been appalled and horrified by Stampede food since I knew there was such a thing , and then it got worse when I smelled it . The Calgary Stampede recently released its list of midway foods for this year , and once again it features a mix of adventurous snacks . Horrific snacks is more like it . The old stand by is " gut bombs " for the burgers . " Deep fried delicacies like double bacon wrapped corndogs , deep fried bubblegum and , yes , even deep fried butter will have you craving something on a stick , " said Stampede officials in a release . They say with 31 new treats there is something for everyone , no matter how many calories midway goers want to consume . This all makes Prairie Oysters look tame . Take a deep breath and hold it down . Here 's the list : Still with me ? Makes on the bike triathlon " food " look like a gourmet feast , doesn 't it ? And no , I don 't have any details about any of these things . I don 't want to know . Trust me , whatever you imagine is far short of reality . Which is a good rule for anything related to Stampede . In other news , it 's been a sideways day for cranky legs . Not better , but not worse either . At least dancing only hurt once , briefly . I am still savouring THAT meal . I hope to remember that evening the rest of my life . The rest of the time out in Banff wasn 't too shabby either . Saturday was another beautiful day here , so I headed out before it got too hot . My feet wanted to run , and I let them go . This is what it looked like This looks and felt very much like my runs before my legs got cranky . A slow start , then a gradual increase in pace . The hump in the middle is going up a bit of hill , bigger than it looks on the graph , and the next one was dodging some cars at a busy intersection . It felt great ! For me , a sub 6 minute K is a strong pace , so I 'm pleased to see it happen there . By the 3 . 5 K mark I could start to feel my hams tighten up , so I called it at 4 K . Lots of stretching after . Even though I suck at gradual builds , I want to be careful building up milage . Sunday I was on the bike for almost an hour , and I 'm pretty pleased there too . There are still a few twinges while standing up , but nothing compared to what it was . After a good warmup I spent some short intervals up above 200 watts . Before all the crankiness , I was just getting to the point of spending regular time up there and feeling strong . After 3 minutes I can feel my hams again , and the tiniest of knee twinges . After a bit of easy spin I 'm ready to go again . Again , a good cooldown and lots of stretching after . I 've still got a physio appointment next week , and I hope that 's the last one . A couple of my buddies are feet injured now , ( hello Deb and Tiffa ) and I hope they get better soon . I came very late to running , and I 've missed it over the last month . So far I haven 't broken anything running ( unlike biking ) and I hope that stays true . I should make you guess what it is , but not many would know . Making wine isn 't all fun and games and drinking . That 's the view of the bottom of a carboy after racking off the good stuff . There 's some oak cubes in there and the dead yeast , along with a bit of the dregs of wine . The carboy needs to be rinsed out , cleaned , and santitized . You 'll note I don 't say sterilized . That 's not practically possible in a home environment . I just try to keep things clean . Really clean , but don 't get fussed about it . One has to be careful when cleaning these out . That residue will stain clothing and never come out if you splash too much . Adding hot water and then sloshing about heats up the air , and then it wants to escape . If you have your hand over the mouth to keep the liquid in , you are also keeping the air in too . Which builds pressure to an astonishing degree . I 've sprayed water all over me and much of the nearby basement . The fun part is this . Drinking it . This Barolo was bottled in August 2008 so it 's coming up on 5 years . This is what 5 years of dust looks like . Dust and wine bottles go together . When it was only a couple years old it was very much an up in your face wine . There was a big bold taste that went with the spiciest of marinades . So today I paired it up with some barbecued Beef Tenderloin in a marinade with a bunch of Mama Africa spice . It went very well . The wine has mellowed a bit , being merely strong and assertive , with some of the ruffty tuffty corners knocked off . There 's a bit of black currants ( which I hate ) and other dark fruit ( blackberries , plums , blueberries , prunes ) here , and a hint of raspberry sweetness . This was a Mondial kit , meaning all juice . It takes these a long time to come into their own . If you can 't stand seeing a bit of sediment on the side , and don 't have the patience to wait years for it to ripen , don 't get this kit . I 've hinted a bit , but yesterday we ate our most expensive free meal ever , which was also one of the very best meals I 've ever had in my life . The story is that our financial advisor loves us . I 've sent her some very good clients over the years , to say nothing a case of wine every now and then , and every once in a while she treats us . This time was to Le Beaujolais in Banff . She was there for a week on vacation , and invited us out to dine . Then I thought , what am I thinking ? Play hookey from the office for one day . Book a hotel room , drive out after work , WALK to the restaurant , have a third glass of wine if that happens , WALK back to the hotel , then spend some of Friday in Banff doing the tourist thing , since I haven 't seen Banff in a great many years . Plus , a buddy of mine lives there now , and I hadn 't seen her in about 5 years or so . So we did . The expensive part of the free meal was the hotel , which offered free wi - fi in the room , please note Toronto Airport Hotel ! Plus foregone wages for a day off work , but it was only a part of the day off , since I worked a bit extra the rest of the week . Plus half a tank of gas . A trifling cost for one of the best mini - vacations ever . We strolled around town , and what do you know ? In the middle of Banff Ave , I 'm thinking that woman looks awfully familiar . It turned out to be Lee , in town for a pipeline safety conference . I worked her with at IMS and Talisman . It was a perfect evening , warm and sunny . The strollers were out in force . I don 't often stroll , but I did then . Once we got to the restaurant , there wasn 't any debate . We didn 't even see a menu . There is a Chef 's Surprise , and that 's what Colleen ordered for us . The only debate was if we wanted the paired wines or not . Turns out there is a paired wine for every course . It 's not often I drink 6 glasses of wine in an evening , so I was thinking about that , but then figured our hotel was just across the road , and this is why we walked . Are we ever glad we did that . The pairings were perfect , and complimented the food in a way I don 't often experience . Here 's the main course . It was all melt in your mouth . You can read what it is on the menu below . Dessert . The little spun sugar confection on top of the ice cream was actually springy . I was so eager to eat I forgot to take photos of the other courses . Read the menu and drool . It wasn 't just good . It wasn 't just excellent . It was superb ! Everything was perfectly done . We got this after the dinner , so each course was a surprise . The owner came out and chatted with us . The waiter was perfect , telling us about each course and the wine , and why they were paired . Service was attentive and unobtrusive . It was just the right amount of food , spread out just right . Turns out 4 of the wines are full size , and the two dessert wines were half size . All were excellent ! So five glasses of excellent wine , on top of just the right amount of excellent food . I might , maybe , have passed the police breath test , but there is no way I would have attempted driving . I 'm not a big fan of port , but after that one , I might have to start . It was a delightful evening chatting and savouring the amazing food . We were there for 3 hours , slowly watching dusk fall over the mountains . Watching people from the second story dining room . Pity it had to end . All I can say is that before you die , you have to eat here , and that 's if you like nice meals . If you 're a fan of French or Continental cooking , you MUST plan to eat here . We took the scenic route back to the hotel . What am I saying ? ALL the routes in Banff are scenic . As you 'll see . There are very few people who regret visiting Banff . Next morning we met up again at Melissa 's for breakfast . Other than ordinary coffee the rest of breakfast was excellent ! Best French Toast ever ! We strolled around town a bit more . Another perfect day . Then we went out to Lake Minnewanka . I have lived in Calgary 30 some years , and I 've never been there . Ever . Here 's the view from the top of the boat launch . It was a long way down . The lake is very low right now . We strolled up the path to a bridge over one of the creeks feeding the lake . On the way back to town there was a small herd of bighorn sheep strolling down the road . They had not the least fear of us , and one even posed . After the stroll we met up with my buddy Amanda to get caught up on our lives . So much has changed for her . Hope we see her again before her baby boy is driving . I had a Grumpy Grizzly Honey Brown which was very nice , along with a donair pizza . They brought out some honey and chili oil to go with the pizza , and that was excellent too . An easy drive home via Bragg Creek to avoid Friday rush hour traffic and we are off to an excellent start for the weekend . Last night I was so tired I went to bed after teasing you with the promise of a couple photos . The first is the sunset from our place last night . I was just coming in after chatting with a neighbour for a few minutes after yoga . Remember the other day when I talked about driving right into the sun ? A few seconds before this shot , the sun was right between the vertical and horizontal traffic lights . Just above where it is now , and slightly left . Good thing I was wearing sunglasses . We were doing some pose with the heel of one foot on the arch of the other , looking up , trying to find our stillness . I did . I was so still I fell asleep in Savasana , and snored through legs up the wall . I 'm still so still I can barely get my fingers to move . I think there is a nice picture of the sunset . Next time . The plan had been to run this evening , but we ended up having someone come over to give us an estimate of some work that needs doing . Then a couple things . Then realized I didn 't really want to run after all , but did want to go stretch and core . Holy moly my left inner thigh just above my knee had a tender spot such as I have never had there , and I never noticed till I rolled the stick over it by accident . Some more cautious prodding found a fairly large spot , and massaging it sent tingles up into my back , and down into my calf . There were a bunch of other tight muscles that didn 't mind being massaged . Then a bit of core , including squats , plank , pushups , and even a few cautious one leg squats . My left leg doesn 't want to bend that far on it 's own , but half weight seems to be ok . Mostly . A few times . In other news the red sunburn across my tailbone is getting itchy . It was difficult to not walk around work scratching my butt . It 's also been difficult to breathe . Someone burned something very badly in the microwave that is just down the hall from me . Very badly , as in we think someone meant 1 minute , and somehow got 10 , then forgot about it . The dish in the sink was black , and the inside of the microwave was brown all over . It stank badly . I was using the nice tea to mask the odour . Won 't be using that microwave ever again . My legs were feeling good today . So good I was thinking of canceling my next physio appointment , or putting it off till next week . I was looking forward to a nice run on Tuesday evening . Now all that is in doubt . I went into dance class feeling tired and sleepy . I 've forgotten all I ever knew , and worse , what little I did remember surfaced at the wrong time . Some of you know that it 's really easy to dance Cha Cha Cha and East Coast Swing to the same music , more a matter of style than anything . So there I was trying to lead Linda through a swing pattern while the class is going through a Cha Cha Cha pattern . There are some subtle differences . And technique in waltz . That 's what did my legs in tonight . Ouch . With any luck I 'll get a good night 's sleep and they will feel better tomorrow . I want to run . I 'll do some stretching downstairs , then hit the sack . First , the important news . I had a normal run today ! Short , but normal . Plus it was actually hot out , probably just over 20 C . Even though just a few people showed up , we had a wonderful book club meeting , talking about life , the universe , and everything . Afterward I zoomed over to look at the picked over shelves at Yum , and got us a couple of lemon tarts . The little cheesecake thingies we wanted were all gone . But that 's the story of going late to Yum , what you want will be gone , because this is a seriously popular bakery , with seriously popular stuff . You know , now that I think of it , I don 't know why I 'm telling you this . I 'm so lazy and slow , and sleep in so much you will be ahead of me in the line , and then I won 't get what I want . The first rise is a quick stretch at the 37 St intersection to adjust my shoes . From there it came together and I ran easily and naturally down the path to 132 nd Ave . This felt great ! I don 't think it was the mythical runners high I keep hearing about , but my legs felt strong and stable . About the 2 . 5 K pace I could feel things start to tighten up a bit and my breathing getting a bit behind the heat , so I walked for just a bit , shaking out my legs , then ran easy a bit more . Total was 3 . 5 K in 23 : 20 with one walk break . My legs felt better after today 's run , than they did before Friday 's run . It was about a 10 minute walk back to the house , enjoying the warmth . Good stretch session after . For the people that know me , and know I 've been recovering from cranky leg syndrome , this is good news . I 've been thinking about information lately , and how it gets delivered to us . I use Zite , LinkedIn , Facebook , blogs , and Twitter as my main means of learning about the world because I can control what shows up , at least to some extent . Not control , as in living in an echo chamber . I mean control to weed out stuff that is not news . I used to read paper newspapers , and listen to radio news , and do so very little now . It 's a crap shoot if the radio crash reporter will tell me anything that Twitter hasn 't already . The problem is that so much of what is available to us is not news . For me , anything about a celebrity is not news . Their entire lives are a script , not just the latest movie , or TV show , or art project . Everything . Marriage . Divorce . Children . All of it designed to enhance what is called a career . I don 't care about any of them . There might be a real person under the image , but I doubt it . , and for the ordinary person , how could you tell ? Let me explain . If I go for coffee with a buddy , that 's what we do . It 's nice . Generally I can tell if buddy is upset , or happy , or worried about something . Maybe they don 't talk about it , maybe they do . But in any case , it 's a natural state of feeling . With an actor , how could you tell ? For all you know , they are practicing a role in their head . Their professional lives are devoted to fooling people . How could you ever trust anything they say ? Why would you ever want to hang out with a person like that ? Why is the media so interested in feeding such fake stories to us ? What could they be trying to distract us from ? Professional sports are not news , unless you know an athlete in that sport personally . No , I mean , personally , that you were buddies before they hit the big leagues , and still are now . How they do is legitimate news to you , but really , what you want to know is how your buddy did . What the score happened to end up being isn 't particularly important . It 's a distraction , along almost exactly the same lines as the Roman Circus . We already have thugs beating each other up with essentially no rules for the blood lust of the mob . It 's only a matter of time till weapons more deadly than fists come into it . So one buddy gas a son who plays in the NHL . She is passionately interested , and understandably so . I know one professional triathlete well enough for her to recognize me in a restaurant and remember my name . I 'm certainly interested in how she does during races . ( She was 7th in her division today , so I hope that 's a bit of prize money and points toward Kona . ) A blog buddy I 've never met , but would like to someday , was at an autograph session that featured Craig ( Crowie ) Alexander . He is arguably the most famous male triathlete currently active . I 'm not an autograph collector , but if I happened to be there , I 'd be trying to hang out with my blog buddy , and any of the several other blog buddies that live in that area . His autograph would be meaningless to me , and any conversation with him there would be banal . What else isn 't news ? Anything in the real estate sections of the newspaper . Every bit of it is advertising designed to separate you from your money . Anything to do with the fashion industry . See celebrities , and separating you from your money . The travel section is more not news . As is almost anything about technology ( out of date by the time a newspaper notices and convinces an editor to let it print . ) The business section , disasters , and weather are almost news , though they can quickly veer into porn territory . Knowing if it 's going to rain today is useful if you are wondering to take an umbrella because you 'll be outside . Fine . Knowing what they say the weather will be for anything much beyond a few hours is useless . Some disasters are news , like a huge tidal wave affecting millions of people . Knowing what has happened allows you the option of directing money for assistance , or maybe going there yourself if you have relevant skills . Of course if you have friends or family involved , you will be passionately interested , and rightly so . But , say , a building collapse that kills hundreds of garment workers ? I 'm sorry , but that isn 't news , not particularly . ( However it is , if you know someone who works in it , of course ) Google the triangle shirtwaist factory fire . It happened more than 100 years ago , and led to changing the laws around industrial safety . All that happens now is essentially the same event in different locations , right down to the locked fire exits . It 's the inevitable result of letting big corporations cut costs and escape responsibility for their supply chains . People become an expendable commodity . Not news , just tragic that it happens again and again . There are two drivers . The people demanding more and cheaper goods , That 's YOU , Mr and Ms America - I - must - get - it - for - cheaper . Add corporate pressures to cut costs so they can pay senior managers and owners more , deserved or not , and you know the result . Almost anything on TV and radio news isn 't really news , it 's what they want to tell you to hide the news from you . They have lots of hours to fill , and they don 't want to make the advertisers unhappy . So what IS news , in my humble opinion ? Pithily , anything that any government or corporation doesn 't want to you know . So for example , Stephen Harper , the self - vaunted economist and business manager has lost 3 . 1 BILLION dollars . Yes , with a B . Not lost , as in spent more on a venture than was returned . They would like you to believe lost , as in temporarily unaccounted for . No big deal , move along , move along . Look , a polar bear ! I have darker suspicions . There are about 20 million tax papers these days . 3 . 1 billion dollars is $ 155 per person . I don 't know about you , but I would notice a $ 150 hole in my bank account . So where did it go ? Nobody knows or so they say . To me , this is a major news story . We should be getting hourly reports of the search , audit results , places they are looking , a detailed list of the rocks they are turning over , along with anything else interesting they find . HOURLY ! ! Day and night . All hands on deck . There are lots of civil servants , how long could it take , if they really wanted the answer ? The reporters should be on Harper like the white on rice . The opposition parties should be all over him like the stink on shit . I have so little trust in Harper , I 'm almost willing to believe that he and his buddies stole it and stashed the proceeds . I love me a good conspiracy theory , and with a bit of work I could probably construct one , but Harper is not a stupid man , not by any means . He knows there was a leak of names and nationalities from one of the secret banks , and where it could happen once , it could happen again . And that 's another thing , for a brief digression . The tax people chase ordinary Canadians for trivial amounts of money on taxes , sometimes from an honest error , sometimes from a misinterpretation of the rules . But these wealthy tax cheats ? They get a deal . That 's news too . Don 't get me started on corporate subsidies . Back to the ever loving 3 . 1 BILLION dollars . There are 166 Conservative members in Harper 's government . Doing the math , that 's just over 18 million each . I 'm just saying , to save you the trouble of finding a calculator . Minus a bit for accounting fees ( what they call money laundering when people who don 't contribute to their campaigns do it ) and you 've got a very nice top up on an already very generous pension . I 'm not saying I think they took it . But the longer it takes them to find it , and explain how it happened , and how they 'll prevent it from happening again , and to roll the head of the minister ( s ) responsible , the more plausible an explanation it becomes . In almost any scandal the rule is " follow the money " . If the people in charge don 't let the investigators do that , there are only two conclusions . They are incompetent , or the trail leads to them and they know it . Anything that any level of government does that involves our taxes is news . They are our elected representatives , spending our money on projects that are supposed to benefit all of us , at least in abstract . In fact , building a highway , for example , really only affects the people nearby , though any of us could go there and drive on it . We should all be getting our fair share of highways . But however it comes , all of us should be getting value for our tax dollar . The web makes it easier to learn what is being done in our name , or is being done to obstruct those efforts . But you still have to go look , and when necessary , help raise hell about it . Stephen Harper is killing the Canada I grew up in . He is turning it into a Fascist state , and yes , I know exactly what that word means . Before you leave a comment based in ignorance , go look up Fascism . Here , I 'll save you the trouble . They don 't all fully apply to Canada , not yet . But they apply a lot more under Harper 's government , than any other previous government . And this process is news , with a capital N . Later on was more unconventional core workout . Thatching the side lawn . Deforesting the patio . If I had a big shop vac , I 'd use that too . There is a lot of fine silt and dust captured around the plants . Here 's a before and after . There were times my legs were a bit crany if I stayed in one position too long , but overall they were feeling pretty good . There are several more boxes to go , I hope they hold up . I hope my hands hold up . I was a bit jealous of my buddy in the cul de sac behind us . He rode out to Bragg Creek today and back , for 84 K or so in perfect bike weather . With any luck that will be me in a few weeks . Oh , and I 've got a prezzie to myself ordered . Pure indulgence . Amazon says its been shipped , and will arrive sometime between the 8th and 22nd . I 'm guessing sometime next week , and I 'll blog when it happens . In other upcoming events , I 'll soon be 20000 days old . Imagine that ! My blog will be 1500 posts old soon , and later this year it will be 6 . I never dreamed I 'd like it this much , or have met the people I have . It 's been a year since I started at Penn West , and that has gone by so fast ! The suggestion / rant about the WTC and it 's " Access Club " and overfilled events is here . I still don 't understand what 's so hard about managing a wait list . - - - - - - - - - - - " The brick walls are there for a reason . The brick walls are not there to keep us out ; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something . The brick walls are there to stop the people who don 't want it badly enough . They are there to stop the other people ! " - - Randy PauschMy question : Is pain a brick wall ? You can discuss in the comments section of that blog posting . Still interested in the run bike swim , but the recovery part after is harder than ever . Getting interested in photography . Note that all contents of this blog are copyright Keith Cartmell from inception to current date .
|
The weather today feels like it ! It 's been pretty warm lately , but some very cool weather has moved in - only for a day or two though . Might want your jacket on today . Got mine on and a cuppa coffee in my hand . I love this kind of weather ! I wanted to share something humorous with you today , but I felt I was to go in a different direction . You know how we 've talked about God - given Dreams and the pursuit of them ? Here 's some food for thought to add to what we 've already talked about . And just a reminder , I realize that you might believe differently about the God of the Bible than I do , but just try this on for size and tell me what you think ( isn 't it worth stretching your beliefs if it means the possibility of finding the reality of something better ? ) God has given me a huge Dream . He has shown me where I and my family are going , but not how we 're going to get there . Just the way God likes it ! Why ? Because it puts us very much in a state of dependence on Him . Trust . Not in logic or reason - there 's a place for that , but not at the expense of Faith - but rather in God Himself and His ability and willingness to come through . Again and again . And every time that He does , it becomes easier to trust Him and what He is doing . I 've got some things going on in my life right now that quite frankly should have me stressing out . But I have found that the more I choose to trust the God of the Bible , the easier it is to do so . I have started doing this just like anyone else would : tripping myself up a lot at first , but the more I have put this into practice , the easier I find it is to not think things and to just trust Him . Period . Not easy , but worth doing . It sure makes life more simple with far less worry going on ( also the way He likes it ) . I 'm not an expert at this - not by a long shot - but I 'm well on my way . And hopefully experiencing that walk with your company , which means you have chosen to do the same on this journey with me . Very exciting ! I am also finding that the more I do this , the happier I am and the more I enjoy my life … right now . It 's no wonder our enemy tries so hard to get us in that dark place and keep us there ( remember that talk too ? ) . Oh , how much faster God 's plan comes to pass when we trust Him , not let our joy be affected and become stronger in every way through the whole process . Satan realizes he 's wasting his time and moves on to somebody else who will cave under his pressure ( he 's under a budget , you know , with limited resources ; God … well , God has unlimited … . everything ) . Remember , you have the freedom to believe whatever you want to believe about this stuff . But which way of believing is ultimately more productive and beneficial for you ? Jesus is very real - whether you want to believe it or not - and He loves you so much that He gave you the freedom to choose to accept Him or reject Him as your Savior . Pretty simple . But a choice with absolutely huge and incomprehensible ramifications . So choose wisely , my friend … . . You 've heard about Major already . Quite a character . But so was an English Springer we had whose name was Max ( not the English Springer from the camping story - this is well after that incident ) . We got Max somewhere around my Freshman / Sophomore years of high school . My Dad and I drove down to South Carolina where a family friend had bred his English Springer and had a puppy for us to get . I held him in my lap all the way back up to Michigan . We grew quite attached on that drive back . So how does such a cute , submissive little puppy grow into … . Max ? The older Max got , the more stubborn he became . We lived in the country ( as you already know ) , so when he had to go outside , we just let him out the door and came back to let him in around 10 minutes later . And that 's where his stubbornness really showed . Especially in the winter ! I 'd be standing there in my pajamas , holding the door open for him to come in , my extremities turning white from frostbite , and he 'd just stand there looking at me , suddenly unable to comprehend the English language . And if I started out the door after him , he 'd just romp out into the yard a little further and turn around to see what I 'm going to do about what he just did . Since I could no longer feel my fingers or toes anyway , I would sometimes try to coax him in with a treat … . or a stern voice … . or sobbing … . fact is , he came in when he was good and ready to and as far as he was concerned , I wasn 't about to change that . I must say , though , that I thoroughly enjoyed a game he liked to play in the house with my younger brother . We 'd be wrestling ( this got Max riled up sufficiently ) which would inevitably end up with my brother pinned to the living room floor , arms defenseless at his sides , while I poked my finger through the gap between his neck and the carpet . This got Max 's attention fast , which always resulted in a slobbery effort on Max 's part to get that wiggling finger , no matter how much tickling and barking he had to do at my brother 's neck , regardless of which direction my brother would turn his head . It was a fun time ! Until my brother got to be big enough and tall enough that I couldn 't pin him to the living room floor anymore . Ruined everything at that point … But my fondest memory of Max is at the family cabin at Paradise Lake . We were up with my Aunt & Uncle 's family , all of us ( but Max ) down by the beach . The cabins on that stretch of the lake are up on a bluff that overlooks that beautiful place . It requires a pretty long staircase for most of those cabins for a way to get down to the shoreline . But what dog likes to take steps when he can launch himself down the hill with no barrier between him and the water ? So my brother goes up to the cabin for something and calls down to my Dad , asking if Max can come down . We all turn around to watch as my Dad gives the ok , because we all know Max 's aversion to the staircase . ( Watching a dog barreling down a hillside , barely able to control his speed as he jets toward the water , is always worth watching . ) Well this time , there were more of us sprawled out along the beachfront than he was used to . His normal line of trajectory was suddenly compromised , but it was too late to change it . The point of impact of least resistance was going to be a 10 - inch gap between my lawn chair and the one next to me that my Uncle was in . The realization of all of this is flashing acrossed Max 's face as he nears the bottom of the hill at full speed . As he realizes his predicament , his eyes get real big , and then they become mere slits as he readies and commits himself to that gap between our chairs ( all this happening in a matter of seconds ) . He was a white and brown streak as he flew right between our lawn chairs , the lake suddenly becoming his parachute as he hits the water in an explosion of spray . He 's frolicking around in the water , grateful to still be alive , a huge smile on his face as he laps at the water . Quite a few moments passed before anyone could say anything because it took that long to catch a breath from all of us laughing so hard . Mike loved to drive . In a way that was … . " parent - challenged " . And Rick and I didn 't mind . Especially since it wasn 't a car that belonged to either one of us . I had been with Mike before in a car and knew what to expect , so Rick was in the passenger seat - strapped in - and I was in the middle of the back seat - strapped in . I had the middle seatbelt around my waist ; the left - hand seatbelt crossing me and attached to the right - hand seatbelt receiver by my right hip ; and the right - hand seatbelt crossing me the other way and attached to the left - hand receiver by my left hip . Did I mention I also had a handle above the inside of both back doors to hold on to ? I wasn 't going anywhere . And as it turned out … I needed those handles . We were cruising through the east side of town down a road with two lanes on each side . As we were waiting at a traffic light , the guy next to us revved his engine as he glanced over at our Jetta . Mike looked at us , started to smile and revved his engine in return . Rick and I looked at each other with a " Is he really gonna do this ? ? ? " expression on our faces and braced ourselves for a whole new meaning to the words " going for a drive " . As soon as that light turned green , we were weaving through 35mph traffic at a good 50 - 60mph . At one time , Mike and the other driver had lost each other , then found each other , then lost each other once again … . all the while weaving in and out of traffic . It was like the Toy Story movie when Woody lights the rocket on Buzz 's back and his lips are flapping in the wind as he tries to hold onto the racecar with all his might . Mike 's adrenaline was ramped up so high that by the second time he had lost the other driver , he screeched into a grocery store parking lot and came to an abrupt halt - hyperventilating with exhilaration ( Rick and I were hyperventilating for other reasons ) . Remember those handles I told you were above the back doors ? I think I made my own finger grooves in them . And Rick - well , remember the nickname given to those big handles in the dashboard that were positioned in front of the passenger seat ? The " Oh , _ _ _ _ ! ! ! " handle ? Before we took this leisurely drive with that nice gentleman in the other car , he had no handle in front of his passenger seat . When we were done , he had made one . I can tell you this , though : I didn 't budge an inch that whole ride ! Got some memories there , too . Learned a lot about roughing it that way , which I always liked ( but don 't do now ) . We built some pretty cool things - an obstacle course , big tri - pods and a ten - foot high platform over our campsite trail , to name a few - using rope , knots and tree limbs . I would have to say , though , that my fondest memory of Boy Scout camping would be the summer leading into my Senior year of high school . Our troop master took about 5 of us older scouts 3 hours up into the northeastern part of Michigan 's lower peninsula for a " survival weekend " . He drove us up to one of the national forests up there that had numerous trails in it and had us draw straws . Why ? We were to be dropped off at different trail heads - by ourselves - and hike 5 minutes or so into the trail and " set up camp " . Of course , this being a survival weekend , all we had was our sleeping bag wrapped in plastic ( if we chose to bring one ) and whatever we brought with us in our backpacks ( if we chose to bring one of those , too ) . No tent , no food , just live off the land as best we could from Friday night to Sunday morning . So it was my turn for drop - off ( # 3 straw , I believe ) . Dusk was beginning to settle in as I hoisted my backpack on and began hiking into my trail . Let me tell you something : To say that I was praying a lot is an understatement of the highest order . A 17 year - old kid 3 hours away from home being dropped off alone literally out in the middle of nowhere to hike into an unknown trail as darkness is closing in … . yup … . definitely an understatement . Oh , I had a map , but that 's like putting a man in a sinking rowboat and telling him to bail it out with a coffee cup . Not much of a comfort . But God 's presence always is . And as I hiked into this trail , praying and looking for a place to lay out my sleeping bag for the night , I began to hear the gentle sound of water flowing . At the same time that I heard this , I could see a big stand of tall pine trees coming up around the bend in the trail ahead . As I rounded that bend and entered the stand of pines , I suddenly found myself walking into a northern Michigan oasis . As I looked around , I realized that I was standing on an extremely thick carpet of soft pine needles . The trees were so tall that the branches didn 't start for a good 10 feet up . Because of that , I could see through the trees to a small river that had a gentle rapids flowing through it . It was so peaceful ! God 's presence was certainly felt that night . Falling asleep to the gentle sound of the river and a light breeze blowing through the treetops above me was something I will never forget . I fully believe God orchestrated that whole event … just for me . He knew which straw that trail would be . Sure , I 'm the one who chose it , but that 's what 's sweet about following the guidance of the Holy Spirit . After a while , you get to know His voice pretty good and can tell when He 's prompting you in a certain direction - especially when you 're trusting Him to do so . Ever done it ? I know - for some families , it 's just not for them . But for others - like my parents and brother growing up and my own now - there are lots of fond memories that revolve around this pastime . Like the family slide my Mom has of me and my brother standing next to my Granny and Grandpa by the pop - up camper we had . They decided to join us for camping that weekend and cut it short - something to do with my brother and I peeing through our sleeping bags that first night . Apparently the smell of what we did was bad enough to drive them out . I don 't remember this one , but I 've heard the story and seen the picture that proves it happened . Then there was the time we camped at a campground in northern Michigan about an hour south of Mackinaw City ( Grayling / Gaylord area , if you 're familiar with it ) . I don 't know if my Dad knew about it at the time , but there was a military base of some kind fairly close to the campground . So all night long we heard the rat - tat - tat and boom - boom of small - arms - fire and cannons going off . That trip got cut short , too . What about pudgy pies ? You know what I 'm talking about … . cast iron pie - makers where you butter the outside of two pieces of bread , put your ingredients for the pie on one side , close it up and set it in the coals of your campfire ? We were camping in the upper peninsula of Michigan when I was a teenager . We went out and picked a whole mess of wild blueberries one morning . When we came back , we found some sugar and made wild blueberry pudgy pies for lunch . That 's all we had for lunch that day , and it was one of the best lunches I 've ever had . My most vivid memory of campground camping has to be when our dog fell out of the camper bed - literally . The pop - up we had at the time had bungee cords that kept the canvas attached to the outside of the bed frames . The bungee cords had lost some of their spring and had become loose in places . At the time we had an English Springer Spaniel that slept with Mom and Dad . One morning , as I was beginning to stir , I heard a commotion on the other side of the camper . I glanced over just in time to see our dog roll over my Dad … and right out of the camper . I don 't think I ever saw my Dad move as fast as he did then . It didn 't take him long to work through that sleepy haze of being forced awake by something urgent as he proceeded to stumble out of the bed , out the camper and around to where she was - dazed and confused , but alright . He carried her back into the camper and we fussed over her as any good dog owner would . Needless to say , we didn 't get back to sleep . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :
|
I 'm blessed to live in St Petersburg , FL . Every day I see various water and backyard birds . I 'll be sharing my favorite photo of the day with you . More from my son 's and my post card project . This is the site of Israel Putnum 's Wolf Den in Pomfret , CT . It was here that Putnum killed the last wolf in CT in 1742 . As you can see from my photo , it hasn 't changed that much over the years . The site was added to the Historic Register in 1895 and has been maintained by the State of CT as a state park ever since . If you 'd like to know more about this story , you can find the information here : http : / / compmast . tripod . com / putnam / wolf . htmlFor a closer look , just click on the photos . Last Saturday , I attended a workshop with Manny Pontoriero , " Get the Picture " blog , and a follower of this blog . This particular workshop was a test demo for a pilot he 's planning for a TV show . We were given assignments to shoot whatever we wanted at each location , then Manny would critique the image we created . We would then try the shot after his critique . It was a very interesting workshop and a lot of fun . Manny picked the locations . Lucky for me , they were right near my home , so I didn 't have to travel very far . The top photo is one of the ones I shot , the bottom shows Manny 's change after his critique . His feeling was that I really wasn 't showing my subject in my shot . He couldn 't figure out what I was photographing , so he suggested I use framing to show just the pier eliminating the boat in the foreground . That way , the " subject " was clearly defined . For a closer look , just click on the photo and it 'll bring you to a larger version . Let me know if you all agree or disagree . I 'd be most interested to know what you all think . This ' gator was in the process of turning around when I spotted him . Lucky for me , I was able to pan with him to capture him sharply . Many people who know nothing about these magnificent reptiles think they 're pretty scary and panic at the sight of them . Actually , Alligators are pretty docile and won 't attack humans unless they feel that they 're in danger . This happens when they 're surprised while basking in the sun , or when they 're nesting . Floridians know enough to leave them alone during ' gator nesting season . Other than that , we can get fairly close to them for a good shot . Black Skimmers have a unique way of fishing . They fly really fast skimming calm water with their lower beak , then circle back and pick up the fish . They are amazing to watch . This one has a snack in his mouth . For a better look , just click on the photo . I 've been to Sawgrass Lake Park in St Petersburg more times than I can count . Until last Monday , I had never seen Skimmers there . They are usually around Ft Desoto in Tierra Verde . There is a whole colony there that nest on North Beach . Most people in Florida don 't like these birds because of their ear - piercing wales all night long . They can be heard all over the neighborhood . For some reason , I really like them . I don 't mind their calls at night . I 've learned to ignore them . My ex - roommate , on the other hand , couldn 't stand them and would always come out and chase them away . A couple of them chose our trees for a roosting place . Limpkins feed nearly exclusively on Apple Snails and prefer fresh water . When their nesting , their nesting places are easy to find because of their habit of storing Apple Snails . They pile them up in a pyramid to feed their young and themselves . Limpkins are fairly large birds . They stand a little more than 2 feet tall and have long legs for wading . To see more detail , just click on the photo for a larger version . These are one of the photos from the post card project my son and I did the other day . It 's funny that we were able to find these , since neither of us know this area very well . This particular one was hard to find and just as we gave up , I noticed it . We were sitting at a red light and I said , " maybe we should concentrate on the house next door . Look at that bay window . There can 't be many bay windows on the side of the house , they 're usually in the front of the house " . Just as I said that , I looked up and said , " that 's it ! Right in front of us " . Sure enough , that was the old post office . The owners added a second floor , but the posts for the fence are still there . We were so excited to be able to cross another one off our list . Check out the post card below . The picture on the post card was made in 1898 . Not too much difference other than the second floor and the tree on the right . To get a better view with more detail , just click on the photos . This photo is a must see at full size . While I couldn 't post it full size , I posted it pretty large . You can see it by clicking on the photo . Yesterday , my son came over with a photo project . Since it was one of the 2 days that hasn 't rained since I 've been here , and my son - in - law was home to take care of my daughter , we went out to start on his project . We had a blast together . He proposed an interesting project . He scanned some old postcards from the late 1800 's and early 1900 's of this area . He thought it would be fun to go out and try to find the same places depicted in the post cards and try to duplicate the photos from the same angle . We got all of them except 7 that we couldn 't find or had been torn down . This is one of them . This factory started out as a small building around the turn - of - the - century . it 's been added on and added on until it 's the size it is today . It also is in a horse shoe from the back and as long as the front behind it . ( Does that make sense ? ) I didn 't have a tripod , so I tried to line up all my shots as best I could by using the windows as a guide and took 17 photos swinging my body at the hips . I told him it probably wouldn 't come out ; but lo and behold , it worked like a charm ! I only did an auto tone in Lightroom on them , then brought them into PhotoShop CS - 5 to create the panoramic view . It took nearly an hour to process in PhotoShop , but it worked the first time . I used the Auto mode to create it . I was really surprised it turned out so well . Lucky for me that I thought to bring my trusty long lens . I haven 't used that lens in ages because it doesn 't have IS ( image stabilization ) . All I can say is , " Good thing I thought to bring it " . The first image is cropped and I wish I could 've got more of his nose and mouth in the picture , but he was too far away and in the dark shade . I had to open up my lens by a stop and a half to get this shot . The next Bison was way out in the field , but this shot is not cropped . I wanted to show the distance and the landscape of the farm . The horse was in the enclosure next to the first Bison . Since I don 't know much about horses ( I 'm a city girl ) , I won 't even try to make a guess as to what his breed is . I think the markings on his face are really interesting , though . I took a few more photos of the Bison , but most were the same - - far away and most didn 't show their faces . They were grazing . If you want to see more detail in these photos , just click on them to make them bigger in another window . I hope you 've enjoyed my trip to the Bison Farm through my pictures . My granddaughter took me to Creamery Brook Bison Farm here in Brooklyn , CT yesterday . We couldn 't stay too long because I didn 't want my daughter to be alone . The farm is right down the street from my daughter 's house and they have about 100 head of Bison , horses , cattle , and birds . These are a couple photos I took there . I 'll post more a bit later , so be sure to check back . As always , to see more detail , just click on the photos and they 'll open up in another window larger . Sometimes showing less is more . This Oxeye Daisy ( to me ) lends itself to a close - up study of the center button . I like the detail and the pattern formed by the rays . To me , it looks like the sun and rays against a sunseting sky . I 've done this with several types of flowers , but these Daisies and Sunflowers seem to look their best when photographed like this . I 've also tried photographing them from the back . The details are so intricate and sometimes we just pass them and don 't give it a thought . Next time you 're out with your camera , try checking out all the parts of a flower . You might be surprised . To see a this image in more detail , click on the picture . The Pale Beauty Moth , a . k . a Fringed Looper , ( Campaea perlata ) can be found in almost all of North America including Western Artic , except in Texas and its bordering states . One can find them in coniferous , mixed , and deciduous forests and shrubby areas ; adults are nocturnal and come to light , but in the arctic where summer nights are short or absent , adults fly during the day . I spotted this one in the early morning on the side of my daughter 's house . He appeared white at first , but after I saw the photo , I saw the pale , emerald green color . The same afternoon , I found him resting in the grass . The funny thing is that he appeared dead , but when I went to pick him up , he hung on tightly and I spotted him moving his antennae . I 've never been able to touch a moth before when they are resting ( although I admit I 've never tried ) . I find this fact pretty interesting . For a closer look , click on the photo . It 's surprising what you can come up with when you 're out walking around on your own property , or any place for that matter . All you have to do is look . I came across this bud on a weed along the driveway at my daughter 's house . I have no idea what it is ; I don 't even know if it 's going to be a flower . The pattern it formed is what caught my eye . Lucky for me , I had my trusty Tamron 90mm lens on my camera at the time . For a closer look , just click on the photo . Does anyone have any idea what this is ? Please let me know in your comments . My daughter has planted some fancy Irises in one of her gardens . We 've been waiting for more than 2 weeks for these to finally bloom . Unfortunately , with more than 260 varieties , I 'm not able to identify the name of this one . If anyone out there knows what variety this one is , I 'd sure appreciate it if you could put it in the comments . I photographed this particular bloom because I like the way it looks with the boulder in the background . It looks like I used a Photoshop technique called Selective Color . However , I didn 't have to use any Photoshop on this shot . For a better look at this shot , just click on it and a larger version will come up . I know not many people like to look at spiders and insects , but what amazes me are the beautiful colors . When we look at them with our eyes , all we see is a black tiny creepy crawler . As you can see by looking closely with a macro lens the colors are amazing . I am especially proud of this shot . I 've been trying to capture one of these spiders for over ten years . The Florida sun is too strong and these cunning little spiders ( less than 1 / 4 inch ) seem to always build their webs in the sunlight . I had to come to CT to find one that was not in the bright sun . I still want to capture one in Florida because I can 't stand it if I can 't do something , but I 'm happy with this one for now . I 'm still in CT taking care of my daughter , so I 'm limited - - or should I say I have the opportunity to photograph only what I can find in her yard , since I can 't really leave the house . While watching the tornado warnings on TV on the 30th , I was waiting to see if we were going to get hit . Both tornadoes were heading this way , but I took the opportunity to get in some shooting anyway . It was pretty scary , but as long as the thunder wasn 't getting too near , I continued to photograph what I could find to keep my mind off the imminent danger . We got very lucky here at the house , but my son - in - law was driving home in the thick of it . He started out on I - 91 , only to find cars and trucks getting flipped , so he re - routed to I - 90 and the tornadic activity was even worse there . He jumped onto I - 84 and managed to stay right behind the devastation , all the while hearing the ping , ping sounds of hail hitting my daughter 's brand new car . Luckily , he made it home safe and sound . Thank God ! ! So , during all that , I took my mind off it by photographing rain drops in between the showers . These drops were on one of her many fir trees , this one pretty young in the front of her house in one of her gardens . Click on the photo to enlarge it , and study the drops . You 'll see secondary images in many of them . Photo made with my Tamron 90mm Macro lens . My daughter and I have been waiting patiently for her Irises to bloom . Everyone else 's in town are in full bloom and this is the only one that 's bloomed so far - - and this one is wild ! I picked this shot today because I love the bokeh and the way it compliments the colors of the Iris . This flower only lasted 2 days and we 're still patiently waiting for her others to bloom . I checked them this morning , and the purple is just peeking out so we won 't have much longer to wait to see and photograph them . The Eastern Tent Caterpillar Moth is in the Lasiocampidae family and it 's Scientific name is : Malacosoma americanum . This moth was on the window that leads to the deck at my daughter 's house in Brooklyn , CT . It was great because I was able to photograph him from the back , then the front , and then a macro of his face . How lucky is that ? You just don 't get this lucky when photographing nature - - especially bugs and butterflies . I love photographing bugs , butterflies , and moths . Their faces are so interesting . Just check out the closeup here . He reminds me of ZZ Top with the dark eyes that look like he 's wearing sunglasses and the long beard . What do you all think ?
|
I 'm blessed to live in St Petersburg , FL . Every day I see various water and backyard birds . I 'll be sharing my favorite photo of the day with you . More from my son 's and my post card project . This is the site of Israel Putnum 's Wolf Den in Pomfret , CT . It was here that Putnum killed the last wolf in CT in 1742 . As you can see from my photo , it hasn 't changed that much over the years . The site was added to the Historic Register in 1895 and has been maintained by the State of CT as a state park ever since . If you 'd like to know more about this story , you can find the information here : http : / / compmast . tripod . com / putnam / wolf . htmlFor a closer look , just click on the photos . Last Saturday , I attended a workshop with Manny Pontoriero , " Get the Picture " blog , and a follower of this blog . This particular workshop was a test demo for a pilot he 's planning for a TV show . We were given assignments to shoot whatever we wanted at each location , then Manny would critique the image we created . We would then try the shot after his critique . It was a very interesting workshop and a lot of fun . Manny picked the locations . Lucky for me , they were right near my home , so I didn 't have to travel very far . The top photo is one of the ones I shot , the bottom shows Manny 's change after his critique . His feeling was that I really wasn 't showing my subject in my shot . He couldn 't figure out what I was photographing , so he suggested I use framing to show just the pier eliminating the boat in the foreground . That way , the " subject " was clearly defined . For a closer look , just click on the photo and it 'll bring you to a larger version . Let me know if you all agree or disagree . I 'd be most interested to know what you all think . This ' gator was in the process of turning around when I spotted him . Lucky for me , I was able to pan with him to capture him sharply . Many people who know nothing about these magnificent reptiles think they 're pretty scary and panic at the sight of them . Actually , Alligators are pretty docile and won 't attack humans unless they feel that they 're in danger . This happens when they 're surprised while basking in the sun , or when they 're nesting . Floridians know enough to leave them alone during ' gator nesting season . Other than that , we can get fairly close to them for a good shot . Black Skimmers have a unique way of fishing . They fly really fast skimming calm water with their lower beak , then circle back and pick up the fish . They are amazing to watch . This one has a snack in his mouth . For a better look , just click on the photo . I 've been to Sawgrass Lake Park in St Petersburg more times than I can count . Until last Monday , I had never seen Skimmers there . They are usually around Ft Desoto in Tierra Verde . There is a whole colony there that nest on North Beach . Most people in Florida don 't like these birds because of their ear - piercing wales all night long . They can be heard all over the neighborhood . For some reason , I really like them . I don 't mind their calls at night . I 've learned to ignore them . My ex - roommate , on the other hand , couldn 't stand them and would always come out and chase them away . A couple of them chose our trees for a roosting place . Limpkins feed nearly exclusively on Apple Snails and prefer fresh water . When their nesting , their nesting places are easy to find because of their habit of storing Apple Snails . They pile them up in a pyramid to feed their young and themselves . Limpkins are fairly large birds . They stand a little more than 2 feet tall and have long legs for wading . To see more detail , just click on the photo for a larger version . These are one of the photos from the post card project my son and I did the other day . It 's funny that we were able to find these , since neither of us know this area very well . This particular one was hard to find and just as we gave up , I noticed it . We were sitting at a red light and I said , " maybe we should concentrate on the house next door . Look at that bay window . There can 't be many bay windows on the side of the house , they 're usually in the front of the house " . Just as I said that , I looked up and said , " that 's it ! Right in front of us " . Sure enough , that was the old post office . The owners added a second floor , but the posts for the fence are still there . We were so excited to be able to cross another one off our list . Check out the post card below . The picture on the post card was made in 1898 . Not too much difference other than the second floor and the tree on the right . To get a better view with more detail , just click on the photos . This photo is a must see at full size . While I couldn 't post it full size , I posted it pretty large . You can see it by clicking on the photo . Yesterday , my son came over with a photo project . Since it was one of the 2 days that hasn 't rained since I 've been here , and my son - in - law was home to take care of my daughter , we went out to start on his project . We had a blast together . He proposed an interesting project . He scanned some old postcards from the late 1800 's and early 1900 's of this area . He thought it would be fun to go out and try to find the same places depicted in the post cards and try to duplicate the photos from the same angle . We got all of them except 7 that we couldn 't find or had been torn down . This is one of them . This factory started out as a small building around the turn - of - the - century . it 's been added on and added on until it 's the size it is today . It also is in a horse shoe from the back and as long as the front behind it . ( Does that make sense ? ) I didn 't have a tripod , so I tried to line up all my shots as best I could by using the windows as a guide and took 17 photos swinging my body at the hips . I told him it probably wouldn 't come out ; but lo and behold , it worked like a charm ! I only did an auto tone in Lightroom on them , then brought them into PhotoShop CS - 5 to create the panoramic view . It took nearly an hour to process in PhotoShop , but it worked the first time . I used the Auto mode to create it . I was really surprised it turned out so well . Lucky for me that I thought to bring my trusty long lens . I haven 't used that lens in ages because it doesn 't have IS ( image stabilization ) . All I can say is , " Good thing I thought to bring it " . The first image is cropped and I wish I could 've got more of his nose and mouth in the picture , but he was too far away and in the dark shade . I had to open up my lens by a stop and a half to get this shot . The next Bison was way out in the field , but this shot is not cropped . I wanted to show the distance and the landscape of the farm . The horse was in the enclosure next to the first Bison . Since I don 't know much about horses ( I 'm a city girl ) , I won 't even try to make a guess as to what his breed is . I think the markings on his face are really interesting , though . I took a few more photos of the Bison , but most were the same - - far away and most didn 't show their faces . They were grazing . If you want to see more detail in these photos , just click on them to make them bigger in another window . I hope you 've enjoyed my trip to the Bison Farm through my pictures . My granddaughter took me to Creamery Brook Bison Farm here in Brooklyn , CT yesterday . We couldn 't stay too long because I didn 't want my daughter to be alone . The farm is right down the street from my daughter 's house and they have about 100 head of Bison , horses , cattle , and birds . These are a couple photos I took there . I 'll post more a bit later , so be sure to check back . As always , to see more detail , just click on the photos and they 'll open up in another window larger . Sometimes showing less is more . This Oxeye Daisy ( to me ) lends itself to a close - up study of the center button . I like the detail and the pattern formed by the rays . To me , it looks like the sun and rays against a sunseting sky . I 've done this with several types of flowers , but these Daisies and Sunflowers seem to look their best when photographed like this . I 've also tried photographing them from the back . The details are so intricate and sometimes we just pass them and don 't give it a thought . Next time you 're out with your camera , try checking out all the parts of a flower . You might be surprised . To see a this image in more detail , click on the picture . The Pale Beauty Moth , a . k . a Fringed Looper , ( Campaea perlata ) can be found in almost all of North America including Western Artic , except in Texas and its bordering states . One can find them in coniferous , mixed , and deciduous forests and shrubby areas ; adults are nocturnal and come to light , but in the arctic where summer nights are short or absent , adults fly during the day . I spotted this one in the early morning on the side of my daughter 's house . He appeared white at first , but after I saw the photo , I saw the pale , emerald green color . The same afternoon , I found him resting in the grass . The funny thing is that he appeared dead , but when I went to pick him up , he hung on tightly and I spotted him moving his antennae . I 've never been able to touch a moth before when they are resting ( although I admit I 've never tried ) . I find this fact pretty interesting . For a closer look , click on the photo . It 's surprising what you can come up with when you 're out walking around on your own property , or any place for that matter . All you have to do is look . I came across this bud on a weed along the driveway at my daughter 's house . I have no idea what it is ; I don 't even know if it 's going to be a flower . The pattern it formed is what caught my eye . Lucky for me , I had my trusty Tamron 90mm lens on my camera at the time . For a closer look , just click on the photo . Does anyone have any idea what this is ? Please let me know in your comments . My daughter has planted some fancy Irises in one of her gardens . We 've been waiting for more than 2 weeks for these to finally bloom . Unfortunately , with more than 260 varieties , I 'm not able to identify the name of this one . If anyone out there knows what variety this one is , I 'd sure appreciate it if you could put it in the comments . I photographed this particular bloom because I like the way it looks with the boulder in the background . It looks like I used a Photoshop technique called Selective Color . However , I didn 't have to use any Photoshop on this shot . For a better look at this shot , just click on it and a larger version will come up . I know not many people like to look at spiders and insects , but what amazes me are the beautiful colors . When we look at them with our eyes , all we see is a black tiny creepy crawler . As you can see by looking closely with a macro lens the colors are amazing . I am especially proud of this shot . I 've been trying to capture one of these spiders for over ten years . The Florida sun is too strong and these cunning little spiders ( less than 1 / 4 inch ) seem to always build their webs in the sunlight . I had to come to CT to find one that was not in the bright sun . I still want to capture one in Florida because I can 't stand it if I can 't do something , but I 'm happy with this one for now . I 'm still in CT taking care of my daughter , so I 'm limited - - or should I say I have the opportunity to photograph only what I can find in her yard , since I can 't really leave the house . While watching the tornado warnings on TV on the 30th , I was waiting to see if we were going to get hit . Both tornadoes were heading this way , but I took the opportunity to get in some shooting anyway . It was pretty scary , but as long as the thunder wasn 't getting too near , I continued to photograph what I could find to keep my mind off the imminent danger . We got very lucky here at the house , but my son - in - law was driving home in the thick of it . He started out on I - 91 , only to find cars and trucks getting flipped , so he re - routed to I - 90 and the tornadic activity was even worse there . He jumped onto I - 84 and managed to stay right behind the devastation , all the while hearing the ping , ping sounds of hail hitting my daughter 's brand new car . Luckily , he made it home safe and sound . Thank God ! ! So , during all that , I took my mind off it by photographing rain drops in between the showers . These drops were on one of her many fir trees , this one pretty young in the front of her house in one of her gardens . Click on the photo to enlarge it , and study the drops . You 'll see secondary images in many of them . Photo made with my Tamron 90mm Macro lens . My daughter and I have been waiting patiently for her Irises to bloom . Everyone else 's in town are in full bloom and this is the only one that 's bloomed so far - - and this one is wild ! I picked this shot today because I love the bokeh and the way it compliments the colors of the Iris . This flower only lasted 2 days and we 're still patiently waiting for her others to bloom . I checked them this morning , and the purple is just peeking out so we won 't have much longer to wait to see and photograph them . The Eastern Tent Caterpillar Moth is in the Lasiocampidae family and it 's Scientific name is : Malacosoma americanum . This moth was on the window that leads to the deck at my daughter 's house in Brooklyn , CT . It was great because I was able to photograph him from the back , then the front , and then a macro of his face . How lucky is that ? You just don 't get this lucky when photographing nature - - especially bugs and butterflies . I love photographing bugs , butterflies , and moths . Their faces are so interesting . Just check out the closeup here . He reminds me of ZZ Top with the dark eyes that look like he 's wearing sunglasses and the long beard . What do you all think ?
|
In June , I went to Orhan # 1 for a routine updo for a work - related event . I 've known Orhan # 1 longer than I 've known my husband . In fact , I went to him the day I went on my first date with my husband . He 's seen me in some pretty desperate beauty situations , but he 's always managed to help me pull myself together . He 's always made me look good and no one , I mean no one in all of Turkey can do a blowout like he does ( AND FOR ONLY 5 LIRA ! That 's less than a cup of Starbucks coffee ) . ANYWAY . On that fateful day , I came to the salon wearing my usual silver / white gold standard jewelry pieces . For the party , I was planning to wear gold , so when I got dressed ( at the salon ) after I was all dolled up , I removed Swatch # 1 ( my first Christmas present from Canim ) , because as you can see , it is silver . Two or three days after the party , I realized my watch had gone missing . I searched every crevice of my apartment and Canim 's car , to no avail . I realized ( with a twinge of horror ) that I had left it at the salon . I wanted to believe that Orhan or his employees had found it and put it in a safe place , waiting for me to return . But when Canim called him ( several times ) , he said he hadn 't seen any watches . CUT TO : Late August , when I returned to Turkey from New York . My precious husband surprised me with a new , identical Swatch surrounded by roses . I mean really , I don 't know how I got so lucky ! A few days later , I received a message from Orhan # 1 . It was a picture of - you guessed it ! - Swatch # 1 . He said someone found it while cleaning the salon . My first thought was , " You mean you haven 't cleaned the salon in two months ? ? " Canim said he probably had the watch the whole time , but held on to it in case I didn 't return to Turkey . When he saw that I had returned ( we 're Facebook friends ) , he decided to let me know he had the watch so I would go back . I really don 't want to believe that theory , especially because O does not need to be sneaky to get me to go back . I like the way he does my hair ! That 's enough for me ! So , as " revenge " , when I got married a few days later , I went to the salon and got my hair and makeup done . I lied about where I was going ( " a friend 's wedding " ) , and left the salon in a hurry to go get hitched . Two days later , ( thanks again to Facebook ) , Orhan saw his work of art all over my wedding announcement . I only paid 1 / 3 of the price for the bridal package . Well , to be fair , I didn 't have a real wedding and the price is completely bogus anyway . Since August , I 've bounced back and forth between some salons in my town , but they suck . Plain and simple . And they charge more . I decided to be brave and let Orhan # 2 ( who may in fact be a Neanderthal ) dye my hair . I figured dark brown is the EASIEST thing to do , aside from black . I brought pictures AND my live - in translator to explain it to them . Tell me why I ended up with that horrendous BLEACHY CHLORINE GREEN color ? ! ! ? So after a very calm , firm , " Bu renk istemiyorum . Kahverengi istiyorum . Sari , yesil istemiyorum . Bu renk cok buyuk bir problem , " and a call to my husband , they managed to get it right . Mind you , Orhan # 2 was blowing my green hair out like it was nothing , chomping is gum like a cow , and when I called him out on it , he laughed and said , " This is a problem ? " My second wedding is in less than 50 days . I need to get this color right once and for all . So what do I do ? Swallow my pride , even though I was wronged first , and go back to Orhan # 1 ? Do I try to find a third party to do it ? 8Oct2014 The Foreign Feminist by yabancibride Spend a short time in Turkey and you will notice that on the surface , women here are more feminine than the majority of their American counterparts . That 's not to say that American women have abandoned their bras and their razors , but the gender roles here are just somehow different . If you look at the number of housewives ( homemakers , whatever ) in Turkey versus the number of housewives ( homemakers ) in the States , I feel like those figures would support my claim . While plenty of women have careers outside of the home in Turkey , it seems that as a whole , Turkish society still allows for women to stay at home . Since the " f " word has appeared in the title and the photo for this post , perhaps you are expecting me to complain about gender roles in Turkey . Well , I 'm not going to . Over the last few days / weeks , I 've been wondering what the " feminist " spectrum really looks like . Of course , I believe women and men must be socially and economically equal . I believe both sexes are loved equally by God . Both sexes deserve the same opportunities to achieve their goals and pursue happiness . If they have the same job , their salaries ought to be the same . But does being a feminist mean that I HAVE TO want to be top dog at my job ? Does it mean that I HAVE TO want to put my career before everything else , including my marriage and my family ? While working on my master 's this summer , I told my advisor about my promotion at work . She liked to patronize me and suggested I only got the promotion because I speak English . I corrected her right away and let her know that I work with many other English - speakers . Then she said , " Well , good for you . Keep climbing that ladder . God knows you definitely wouldn 't want to be a Turkish housewife . " WHY IS THAT A BAD THING ? ! Could being a feminist ALSO possibly mean that if I choose to , I can have as many children as I want - which is realistically no more than two - and then stay home to raise them myself ? I worked in a daycare for four years . I took care of infants ( 8 weeks old and up ) , which meant I regularly had to take babies away from their crying mothers and assure everyone that the babies would be just fine when they came to get them 8 hours later . Don 't get me wrong - 90 % of those mothers were doing what they absolutely had to do in order to support their families , and they were spending a FORTUNE to make sure their babies were taken care of . But deep down , it always terrified me to think that I would most likely be one of those mothers one day , and I wouldn 't have $ 15 , 000 to send my infant to the " best " daycare in my area . I would most likely only be able to afford those sketchy home daycares that may or may not double as a meth lab . I live in a country where it 's normal and acceptable to be a housewife . I 've seen the extremes , too . There are the Desperate Housewives , who leave their villas looking like a walking advertisement for their plastic surgeon , in an ensemble that costs more than my entire wardrobe combined . Then there are the desperate housewives ( there 's a difference ) who have at least three kids dangling off of their exhausted bodies , which they have to hoist up onto the bus , along with the stroller and groceries , and they probably haven 't had even five minutes to themselves just to shower in two days . I 'd most likely fall somewhere in the middle , which isn 't a terrible place to be . But of course , at this point , being a stay - at - home mom is more of a pipe dream for me . I 've crunched some numbers , and I would have to work at my current job for at least 3 more years before a baby could even be a twinkle in my eye . Then of course , there 's the other side of the coin . Even if Canim won the lottery and we could live in a penthouse overlooking the sea and I could afford to fly to NY as often as I 'd like while still being able to afford having my hair blown out thrice a week , what kind of a housewife would I be ? You decide : - I look up recipes on the internet - which women here won 't explicitly poo - poo , but they 've remarked on it with some disdain . Meanwhile , I feel like I should be applauded for actually using Pinterest for recipes and attempting to make them Pinterest - perfect to catch up with my peers in the States ! Excuse me for not having the recipe for dolma in my DNA ! - If I don 't have polished nails , I can still sleep well at night . How can I clean my house AND maintain a perfect manicure ? ? ? ? CHOOSE ONE . So , I could be a successful housewife , just not by Turkish standards . But my husband loves me , even with all of the things I listed , and he doesn 't measure me by Turkish standards . My value as a woman does not depend on my domestic capabilities or my professional accolades . It depends on something else , which my husband already seems to understand ( hence his decision to be my husband ) , and I , for some reason , am struggling to figure out . 19Sep2014 The Lonely Yabanci by yabancibride We 've been married for three weeks , and it has been a little crazy . Canim is a great husband . No surprise there . His family and I have gotten closer and we are able to understand each other better , though neither side has really improved their language skills . Things at work have been rough . My new position is literally giving me gray hair . I found one two hours ago . More work , a lot more responsibility ( read : PRESSURE ) , no extra money , and my colleagues are ( inexplicably ) still showing resentment towards me because I was chosen for the job . On top of that , due in part to my colleagues being spiteful , my company informed me that everything in my apartment ( which was leased by my job until July of this year ) has to be returned ( and replaced at my expense ) by mid - October . To add insult to injury , a company associate disrespected Canim . BRO . I flipped out . I showed my teeth . I was scolded by my boss but I refused to back down . Our little intervention ended peacefully and while I know she 'll never admit it , I think she was shocked and a little bit impressed by my ability to go from Glinda the Good Witch to the Wicked Witch of the West and back in no time . I knew I had it in me , but she has only ever seen me being a delicate , agreeable flower . The thing is I JUST made vows to my husband two weeks ago , so they 're fresh in my mind . I will forsake ( or annihilate ) all others for him , if necessary . It was necessary . Feeling betrayed by my already sketchy colleagues , plus being in the doghouse with my boss has made me realize that I don 't have close friends here . I have plenty of people who care about me , and for that I am blessed , but the people in this country who really know me and love me anyway can be counted on one hand , with fingers to spare . Sometimes I feel like people are " Turkish nice " to me , which means they smile at me whenever they see me , they exchange various pleasantries and olsuns with me , and they may occasionally gush over me because I said one Turkish word or because my dress is cute . But the minute I make a mistake , or raise my voice ( in excitement , not even anger ) , or if I dare to put my foot down for any reason , they will kus me and forever consider me to be an entitled ingrate . My fellow yabancis are no better . Sometimes they 're actually worse . You 'd think our foreignness would lead to a sense of camaraderie . Instead , it leads to a sense of competition , where one party inevitably feels the need to be the boss or the expert . Why can 't we all just chill out and lift each other up ? This stress and loneliness has led to me feeling depressed . Not necessarily sad , although definitely sad sometimes . But I feel like my battery is low and I just want to escape . I sleep a lot , and I am often irritable towards the one person who loves me for me - Canim . I wonder if other yabancis ever feel like this . I wonder if this is just a lame pity party and if it will pass soon . 2 Comments 3Sep2014 Spoiler Alert : We ELOPED ! by yabancibride " It 's a beautiful night . We 're looking for something [ fun ] to do . Hey baby , I think I wanna marry you . " Your eyes do not deceive you . The yabanci bride who only wanted one small , simple , intimate wedding ceremony will have had THREE celebrations ( of varying degrees ) before the end of 2015 . But hey , at least the first one was small , simple , and intimate . 🙂 We eloped for practical and romantic reasons . Practical : Housing . It 's a long story , but I was going to have to change ( read : DOWNGRADE ) my apartment and we were tired of living in two different cities , so in an effort to keep things helal ( or halal or kosher or whatever you want to say ) , we decided to be married on paper so we could live together without feeling a black cloud of ayip looming over us . Romantic : There was no way we could wait until January to be husband and wife . We 're each other 's best friends , partners , teammates , all of that good stuff . To us , engagement is not about figuring out whether or not your fiance is " the one " . That 's what dating is for . I told Canim not to propose unless he was prepared to marry me the next day if need be ( why would " need be " ? I don 't know but I had to be dramatic to make my point ) . So , we were ready to be married as soon as we got engaged . Engagement ( again , to us ) is about planning , preparing , and making arrangements for the future . Where will you live ? How will you balance finances ? Blah blah blah boring adult things . In July , we got my parents ' blessing to go ahead and be married on paper as long as we will still have the reception in January and the American reception in July . Fair enough . Everybody gets a little bit of what they want . I bought a simple lace sheath , my brilliant and artistic friend made me a brooch bouquet ( which will be used at all three weddings ) , I Pinterested a hairstyle , ordered some pink shoes and sixpence coins , and two weeks after I returned to Turkey ( August 30th ) , I became Mrs . Canim . In another post , I will explain the process for an American - Turkish marriage ceremony . Most of that was a blur , to be honest , because Canim is SUPER efficient ( a quality that did not After I was dolled up , my brother - in - law ( BIL ) and mother - in - law ( MIL ) picked me up . I was disappointed to learn that the bozos at the jeweler had failed to have my wedding band ready in time for the ceremony . However , I opted to not go Bridezilla on said bozos because , to quote my husband ( hehehe ) , " Darling , here is Turkey . Every time something is wrong . " The end . Full stop . There 's always something wrong , so don 't sweat it . One hour before the ceremony , when we were less than 1 KM away from the house , the bozos called and told my BIL that the wedding band was ready . So , BIL turned around to go exactly where we had just come from . He drove like a bat outta Hades to get the ring . While MIL and I waited in the car , she turned to me and said , " The box in the bag is yours . " So I opened it and discovered a SIX PIECE lingerie set . Gorgeous white satin . I was flattered , humbled , and then REALLY embarrassed to think about what must have been going through her mind as she picked out the set . I mean … you know . And she 's his MOM . Agggh . Anyway . So , I got ready at his parents ' house , and sat on a bed staring at the clock thinking , " 30 minutes until I become Mrs . Canim . This is a big deal . " And I started shaking a little and my eyes were welling up with tears , so my darling MIL swooped in with some baklava ( I had 3 pieces - sue me ) and helped me buckle my shoes because I couldn 't do it myself . The Ceremony : I 'm not gonna lie to you guys . The Turkish marriage ceremony is rather … unceremonious . Canim 's father and two best friends walked me into the belediye wedding salon ( aka city hall ) . He was pacing and waiting anxiously for me to arrive . When we saw each other , we hugged and tried really hard not to cry . After taking lots of pictures , everyone left us alone to say our vows to each other ( Turkish couples normally don 't do that , as it is assumed that by showing up for the ceremony , you already promise to be the ideal spouse until you die . But I 'm American . I like contracts and having things speWe switched our rings onto our left hands , had a short and sweet kiss ( once on the lips and once on my forehead , which I found so adorable ) , and then cut the cake . Oh , this was our cake topper : International LoveCourtesy of Giving Ink on Etsy ! https : / / www . etsy . com / shop / givingINK ? ref = l2 - shop - info - name After the ceremony , we took pictures in a park along the sea , but it really felt like taking pictures on the surface of the freaking sun . Then , we went back to his parents ' house to freshen up . After that we had dinner at our favorite restaurant which means " Snow White " but has absolutely nothing to do with a princess or dwarves . After dinner came the real party - our " mini - moon " at the Hilton . Let me tell you - I 've never stayed in a Hilton before , and now that I have , I don 't know how I can ever stay in a pansion or even a different 5 - star hotel . That place was a piece of American heaven , I tell ya . It was like sleeping on a cloud . We were treated like stars , with far too many free drinks ( including a bottle of champagne ) , impressive room service , and they let us check out several hours later than we were supposed to . It was paradise . All in all , every time I think of that day ( aka 5 days ago ) , I can 't help but grin ear - to - ear . I 'm glad we didn 't wait . Got the ring ( mine is obviously on the right ) just in time , so I didn 't have to foam at the mouth like Bridezilla . Crisis averted . Brooch bouquet . 22Aug2014 Work Friendships : Not the Perfect Blendship by yabancibride Well , I 've been back in Turkey for 5 days now . Being reunited with Canim has breathed some life back into me . It 's fantastic and we have some SUPER exciting things coming up in the next week ( a post about that will follow ) . I have been back at work for 3 days . It 's a little surreal and it 's definitely taking some time to get myself back into full Workey ( work in Turkey ) mode . I have been " promoted " to team leader for my department . Awesome right ? No . Not awesome . I mean , I 'm thrilled that my boss believes in me enough to have given me the position , and it will be a great learning experience and of course it will look great on my resume . That said , I am also now managing people who : 1 . Are older than me by at least 10 years ( some 20 ) . 2 . Have been in this line of work longer than I have been . 3 . Have been working with this specific company longer than I have been . I think I was a bit of a dark horse during the application process in June ( for reasons listed above ) . Last year was my first year with the company , but it was my second year in Turkey ( Workey ) . I arrived later than the other foreigners because of work visa drama , but I hit the ground running and held my own for the entire year . I didn 't go through the typical culture shock that was expected of many first - year employees because I had already done that in a far less nurturing environment the year before . To make it worse , some colleagues had suggested that we have a department vote to choose the new team leader . I pride myself on being a practical person , and I figure out the way things work rather quickly . My boss is a powerful , driven woman . She has clear vision for our company , and if you are not with her , you 're gonna get left in the dust . If you aren 't picking up what she 's putting down , then it 's best to relocate . Basically : if you can 't work with her , move on , because you aren 't gonna change her or the system . That said , I KNEW that a vote would be a co " Congratulations 🙂 I wish you well with your new responsibilities . It 's going to be a lot and you will have a very full , if not overloaded , plate . Congrats again ! " I cannot quit this position , nor do I plan to or think I should , because I am willing to prove myself and I truly do care about the company and I want to do everything in my power to help it thrive . I believe my boss chose me for many reasons , and one of them is definitely my relationship with colleagues . I have a good rapport with them without actually being their friends . It 's hard in Workey because when you meet other foreigners , you may feel temptation / pressure to become " fast friends " with them simply because you have a language or culture or foreignness in common . But that 's not always the best idea , especially when that person is your co - worker . My philosophy is that it 's best to treat my Workey co - workers as I would my co - workers in America . Be kind , friendly , thoughtful , respectful , socialize / fraternize from time to time , but keep the professional boundaries clearly marked . The distance I maintained last year will help me this year , because it is already clear that I am friendly but I am not their homegirl and I can 't be pushed / pressured / bribed into helping people get away with slacking and lacking . Still , it is only day 3 and I 'm wiped . I 've got a long year ahead of me ! dark horse , foreign , friendship , haters , professionalism , promotion , Turkey , work , working in Turkey 1 Comment 28Jul2014 " Let Us Love - Let Us Be Loved " by yabancibride Today is an important day in Turkey and in the Muslim community in general . It is Ramazan Bayramı , or Şeker Bayramı , or Eid al - Fitr ( I can only pronounce 2 out of the 3 ) . Today marks the end of Ramazan ( Ramadan ) , or the Islamic holy month of fasting . I have yet to be in Turkey during Ramazan , and I honestly can 't describe what today 's celebrations must have looked , sounded , tasted or smelled like . Maybe next year . Sultanahmet Mosque in Istanbul . The banner says , " Let Us Love " and " Let Us Be Loved " . Over the last few days , I 've had a heavy heart because of how much misery and conflict is surrounding my loved ones in that part of the world . Turkey has had a whole lot to say ( and excuse me , but a lot of what I 've read is shameful , embarrassing , and not even factual . Come on guys ) about the newest chapter of the Israel - Palestine conflict . I am slightly concerned about what will happen to me personally upon my return , because I know that in addition to rising anti - Semitism , people have taken to lashing out on places like the American consulate near my home . It feels like the news gets more and more grim with each passing day , with no hope for peace or a resolution of any kind . I know my opinions and my experiences are as significant as a speck of dust when compared to people who are * actually * struggling over there , but I can 't help feeling frustrated and confused by the hatred that seems to be spewing like an oil spill . I 'm from New York , which I really do consider to be the capital of the world ( sorry , Istanbul ) . I have friends of pretty much every shape , size , color and creed . If you looked at my Facebook news feed and saw only what my friends share and not what I share , you would have no idea where I stood politically , socially , economically , whatever . I have friends who are very conservative and share Glenn Beck articles - unironically . I have friends who are super duper liberal and probably think I 'm backwards and out of touch for believing in Jesus and choosing to change my last name to my fiance 's . I have friends who have shared countless pro - Israel things , and I have friends who have shared heartbreaking news from Palestine . We disagree , sometimes on a lot of things . But we always agree to show each other love and respect . No matter what . Period . At the risk of sounding naive and self - involved , why the heck can 't the rest of the world do this too ? Fear and ignorance have far too much control over us . I took my niece to get her hair blown out the other day ( she 's only 3 but I feel it isThe woman who washed my hair was of Egyptian descent , and upon seeing my engagement ring said , " Yeah , Turkish men LOVE to marry women who don 't know anything about Turkish culture . They can take advantage . Is your fiance a MUSLIM ? ! " So I said , " Well , I 've lived there for two years and my Turkish is at a conversational level . I held my own for a year without his help , despite a helluva lot of adversity . I think I know a bit about the culture . " ( I didn 't answer the religion question because my fiance 's faith is between him and God . ) The other idiot told me I had green hair . Do you have a clear idea of the caliber of individuals I was dealing with ? This is why people need to travel . I know it isn 't always possible , but I believe it is critical to understanding what is happening in the world around us . Before I moved to Turkey , I honestly thought I 'd get death threats or something for not being Muslim . I was concerned about having to cover my head . I look back on that and roll my eyes , because I know how silly it is now . If I hadn 't taken the chance and actually EXPERIENCED a different culture and lifestyle , I would probably still be as ignorant as the broad who said my hair was green ( just kidding . I couldn 't be that dumb ) . If we don 't take the time to experience that which frightens us , we are destined to always fear and hate the " other " at their expense and our own . I wear a crescent and a star pendant around my neck because Turkey is literally and figuratively close to my heart . I will defend Muslims when I hear people making ignorant , hateful generalizations about them . I will defend Jews when I hear people making ignorant , hateful generalizations about them . I have had people question my faith because I show too much " sympathy " towards Muslims . Frankly , that pisses me off . If people could stop being so ignorant and fearful , they would see that our similarities greatly outnumber our differences . How about joining forces to create positive change , for once ? Let us love . Let us be loved . # EndRant The reason I am back in the States for 56 days is to complete grad school , which means completing 100 hours of an internship . You would not believe how difficult it is to complete 100 hours over the course of 56 days ( even less weekdays ) . My university wanted me to do 50 this summer and 50 next summer . I have been fighting their requirement since January , " persistent widow " style * , and only last Friday did they finally decide to let me do it my way . Incidentally , my neck cramp began last Thursday . My body and my brain are either too connected , or not connected enough . I feel a decent amount of stress , but my brain has suppressed its instincts to be overcome with anxiety , or to randomly cry at inappropriate times . It 's gone into Beast Mode , as though it knows we only have 30 days left and we need to just suck it up and get ' er done . I 've started a new diet , which is actually going very well , but the problem is I am not stress eating like I used to . I mean , it 's great that I 'm not stress eating , but my body is like , " HEY ! You 're upset / stressed / frustrated / sad . You should totally be eating something salty and maybe oily right now . " But my brain , with its new dedication to healthy choices , says , " NO WAY . Do you know how much money I 've invested in this new diet plan ? Do you not realize we have a wedding coming up ? ! " Since I neglected to give my body a healthy way to release the stress , it decided to manifest itself in a throbbing , fiery ball between my neck and my right shoulder . Now that ice , heating pads , Aleve , Advil , Tylenol and Bengay have failed me , I 've decided to try acupuncture . I am counting down the hours . I have to endure two more work days before I can have someone prick me with needles and holistically nurse me back to good health . I have a LOT to do in these last 30 days , and it can 't get done with my head cocked to the left side ( looking normal and attractive is included in my list of " a LOT to do " ) . * The " persistent widow " is a reference to a parable Jesus used to teach His disciples the importance of being persistent in prayer and never losing hope . When I 'm frustrated with the system and I feel like plopping down on the ground , banging my fists and pouting like a toddler , I try to remember this parable . acupuncture , diet , grad school , internship , parable , persistent widow , stress , stress eating Leave a comment
|
In June , I went to Orhan # 1 for a routine updo for a work - related event . I 've known Orhan # 1 longer than I 've known my husband . In fact , I went to him the day I went on my first date with my husband . He 's seen me in some pretty desperate beauty situations , but he 's always managed to help me pull myself together . He 's always made me look good and no one , I mean no one in all of Turkey can do a blowout like he does ( AND FOR ONLY 5 LIRA ! That 's less than a cup of Starbucks coffee ) . ANYWAY . On that fateful day , I came to the salon wearing my usual silver / white gold standard jewelry pieces . For the party , I was planning to wear gold , so when I got dressed ( at the salon ) after I was all dolled up , I removed Swatch # 1 ( my first Christmas present from Canim ) , because as you can see , it is silver . Two or three days after the party , I realized my watch had gone missing . I searched every crevice of my apartment and Canim 's car , to no avail . I realized ( with a twinge of horror ) that I had left it at the salon . I wanted to believe that Orhan or his employees had found it and put it in a safe place , waiting for me to return . But when Canim called him ( several times ) , he said he hadn 't seen any watches . CUT TO : Late August , when I returned to Turkey from New York . My precious husband surprised me with a new , identical Swatch surrounded by roses . I mean really , I don 't know how I got so lucky ! A few days later , I received a message from Orhan # 1 . It was a picture of - you guessed it ! - Swatch # 1 . He said someone found it while cleaning the salon . My first thought was , " You mean you haven 't cleaned the salon in two months ? ? " Canim said he probably had the watch the whole time , but held on to it in case I didn 't return to Turkey . When he saw that I had returned ( we 're Facebook friends ) , he decided to let me know he had the watch so I would go back . I really don 't want to believe that theory , especially because O does not need to be sneaky to get me to go back . I like the way he does my hair ! That 's enough for me ! So , as " revenge " , when I got married a few days later , I went to the salon and got my hair and makeup done . I lied about where I was going ( " a friend 's wedding " ) , and left the salon in a hurry to go get hitched . Two days later , ( thanks again to Facebook ) , Orhan saw his work of art all over my wedding announcement . I only paid 1 / 3 of the price for the bridal package . Well , to be fair , I didn 't have a real wedding and the price is completely bogus anyway . Since August , I 've bounced back and forth between some salons in my town , but they suck . Plain and simple . And they charge more . I decided to be brave and let Orhan # 2 ( who may in fact be a Neanderthal ) dye my hair . I figured dark brown is the EASIEST thing to do , aside from black . I brought pictures AND my live - in translator to explain it to them . Tell me why I ended up with that horrendous BLEACHY CHLORINE GREEN color ? ! ! ? So after a very calm , firm , " Bu renk istemiyorum . Kahverengi istiyorum . Sari , yesil istemiyorum . Bu renk cok buyuk bir problem , " and a call to my husband , they managed to get it right . Mind you , Orhan # 2 was blowing my green hair out like it was nothing , chomping is gum like a cow , and when I called him out on it , he laughed and said , " This is a problem ? " My second wedding is in less than 50 days . I need to get this color right once and for all . So what do I do ? Swallow my pride , even though I was wronged first , and go back to Orhan # 1 ? Do I try to find a third party to do it ? 8Oct2014 The Foreign Feminist by yabancibride Spend a short time in Turkey and you will notice that on the surface , women here are more feminine than the majority of their American counterparts . That 's not to say that American women have abandoned their bras and their razors , but the gender roles here are just somehow different . If you look at the number of housewives ( homemakers , whatever ) in Turkey versus the number of housewives ( homemakers ) in the States , I feel like those figures would support my claim . While plenty of women have careers outside of the home in Turkey , it seems that as a whole , Turkish society still allows for women to stay at home . Since the " f " word has appeared in the title and the photo for this post , perhaps you are expecting me to complain about gender roles in Turkey . Well , I 'm not going to . Over the last few days / weeks , I 've been wondering what the " feminist " spectrum really looks like . Of course , I believe women and men must be socially and economically equal . I believe both sexes are loved equally by God . Both sexes deserve the same opportunities to achieve their goals and pursue happiness . If they have the same job , their salaries ought to be the same . But does being a feminist mean that I HAVE TO want to be top dog at my job ? Does it mean that I HAVE TO want to put my career before everything else , including my marriage and my family ? While working on my master 's this summer , I told my advisor about my promotion at work . She liked to patronize me and suggested I only got the promotion because I speak English . I corrected her right away and let her know that I work with many other English - speakers . Then she said , " Well , good for you . Keep climbing that ladder . God knows you definitely wouldn 't want to be a Turkish housewife . " WHY IS THAT A BAD THING ? ! Could being a feminist ALSO possibly mean that if I choose to , I can have as many children as I want - which is realistically no more than two - and then stay home to raise them myself ? I worked in a daycare for four years . I took care of infants ( 8 weeks old and up ) , which meant I regularly had to take babies away from their crying mothers and assure everyone that the babies would be just fine when they came to get them 8 hours later . Don 't get me wrong - 90 % of those mothers were doing what they absolutely had to do in order to support their families , and they were spending a FORTUNE to make sure their babies were taken care of . But deep down , it always terrified me to think that I would most likely be one of those mothers one day , and I wouldn 't have $ 15 , 000 to send my infant to the " best " daycare in my area . I would most likely only be able to afford those sketchy home daycares that may or may not double as a meth lab . I live in a country where it 's normal and acceptable to be a housewife . I 've seen the extremes , too . There are the Desperate Housewives , who leave their villas looking like a walking advertisement for their plastic surgeon , in an ensemble that costs more than my entire wardrobe combined . Then there are the desperate housewives ( there 's a difference ) who have at least three kids dangling off of their exhausted bodies , which they have to hoist up onto the bus , along with the stroller and groceries , and they probably haven 't had even five minutes to themselves just to shower in two days . I 'd most likely fall somewhere in the middle , which isn 't a terrible place to be . But of course , at this point , being a stay - at - home mom is more of a pipe dream for me . I 've crunched some numbers , and I would have to work at my current job for at least 3 more years before a baby could even be a twinkle in my eye . Then of course , there 's the other side of the coin . Even if Canim won the lottery and we could live in a penthouse overlooking the sea and I could afford to fly to NY as often as I 'd like while still being able to afford having my hair blown out thrice a week , what kind of a housewife would I be ? You decide : - I look up recipes on the internet - which women here won 't explicitly poo - poo , but they 've remarked on it with some disdain . Meanwhile , I feel like I should be applauded for actually using Pinterest for recipes and attempting to make them Pinterest - perfect to catch up with my peers in the States ! Excuse me for not having the recipe for dolma in my DNA ! - If I don 't have polished nails , I can still sleep well at night . How can I clean my house AND maintain a perfect manicure ? ? ? ? CHOOSE ONE . So , I could be a successful housewife , just not by Turkish standards . But my husband loves me , even with all of the things I listed , and he doesn 't measure me by Turkish standards . My value as a woman does not depend on my domestic capabilities or my professional accolades . It depends on something else , which my husband already seems to understand ( hence his decision to be my husband ) , and I , for some reason , am struggling to figure out . 19Sep2014 The Lonely Yabanci by yabancibride We 've been married for three weeks , and it has been a little crazy . Canim is a great husband . No surprise there . His family and I have gotten closer and we are able to understand each other better , though neither side has really improved their language skills . Things at work have been rough . My new position is literally giving me gray hair . I found one two hours ago . More work , a lot more responsibility ( read : PRESSURE ) , no extra money , and my colleagues are ( inexplicably ) still showing resentment towards me because I was chosen for the job . On top of that , due in part to my colleagues being spiteful , my company informed me that everything in my apartment ( which was leased by my job until July of this year ) has to be returned ( and replaced at my expense ) by mid - October . To add insult to injury , a company associate disrespected Canim . BRO . I flipped out . I showed my teeth . I was scolded by my boss but I refused to back down . Our little intervention ended peacefully and while I know she 'll never admit it , I think she was shocked and a little bit impressed by my ability to go from Glinda the Good Witch to the Wicked Witch of the West and back in no time . I knew I had it in me , but she has only ever seen me being a delicate , agreeable flower . The thing is I JUST made vows to my husband two weeks ago , so they 're fresh in my mind . I will forsake ( or annihilate ) all others for him , if necessary . It was necessary . Feeling betrayed by my already sketchy colleagues , plus being in the doghouse with my boss has made me realize that I don 't have close friends here . I have plenty of people who care about me , and for that I am blessed , but the people in this country who really know me and love me anyway can be counted on one hand , with fingers to spare . Sometimes I feel like people are " Turkish nice " to me , which means they smile at me whenever they see me , they exchange various pleasantries and olsuns with me , and they may occasionally gush over me because I said one Turkish word or because my dress is cute . But the minute I make a mistake , or raise my voice ( in excitement , not even anger ) , or if I dare to put my foot down for any reason , they will kus me and forever consider me to be an entitled ingrate . My fellow yabancis are no better . Sometimes they 're actually worse . You 'd think our foreignness would lead to a sense of camaraderie . Instead , it leads to a sense of competition , where one party inevitably feels the need to be the boss or the expert . Why can 't we all just chill out and lift each other up ? This stress and loneliness has led to me feeling depressed . Not necessarily sad , although definitely sad sometimes . But I feel like my battery is low and I just want to escape . I sleep a lot , and I am often irritable towards the one person who loves me for me - Canim . I wonder if other yabancis ever feel like this . I wonder if this is just a lame pity party and if it will pass soon . 2 Comments 3Sep2014 Spoiler Alert : We ELOPED ! by yabancibride " It 's a beautiful night . We 're looking for something [ fun ] to do . Hey baby , I think I wanna marry you . " Your eyes do not deceive you . The yabanci bride who only wanted one small , simple , intimate wedding ceremony will have had THREE celebrations ( of varying degrees ) before the end of 2015 . But hey , at least the first one was small , simple , and intimate . 🙂 We eloped for practical and romantic reasons . Practical : Housing . It 's a long story , but I was going to have to change ( read : DOWNGRADE ) my apartment and we were tired of living in two different cities , so in an effort to keep things helal ( or halal or kosher or whatever you want to say ) , we decided to be married on paper so we could live together without feeling a black cloud of ayip looming over us . Romantic : There was no way we could wait until January to be husband and wife . We 're each other 's best friends , partners , teammates , all of that good stuff . To us , engagement is not about figuring out whether or not your fiance is " the one " . That 's what dating is for . I told Canim not to propose unless he was prepared to marry me the next day if need be ( why would " need be " ? I don 't know but I had to be dramatic to make my point ) . So , we were ready to be married as soon as we got engaged . Engagement ( again , to us ) is about planning , preparing , and making arrangements for the future . Where will you live ? How will you balance finances ? Blah blah blah boring adult things . In July , we got my parents ' blessing to go ahead and be married on paper as long as we will still have the reception in January and the American reception in July . Fair enough . Everybody gets a little bit of what they want . I bought a simple lace sheath , my brilliant and artistic friend made me a brooch bouquet ( which will be used at all three weddings ) , I Pinterested a hairstyle , ordered some pink shoes and sixpence coins , and two weeks after I returned to Turkey ( August 30th ) , I became Mrs . Canim . In another post , I will explain the process for an American - Turkish marriage ceremony . Most of that was a blur , to be honest , because Canim is SUPER efficient ( a quality that did not After I was dolled up , my brother - in - law ( BIL ) and mother - in - law ( MIL ) picked me up . I was disappointed to learn that the bozos at the jeweler had failed to have my wedding band ready in time for the ceremony . However , I opted to not go Bridezilla on said bozos because , to quote my husband ( hehehe ) , " Darling , here is Turkey . Every time something is wrong . " The end . Full stop . There 's always something wrong , so don 't sweat it . One hour before the ceremony , when we were less than 1 KM away from the house , the bozos called and told my BIL that the wedding band was ready . So , BIL turned around to go exactly where we had just come from . He drove like a bat outta Hades to get the ring . While MIL and I waited in the car , she turned to me and said , " The box in the bag is yours . " So I opened it and discovered a SIX PIECE lingerie set . Gorgeous white satin . I was flattered , humbled , and then REALLY embarrassed to think about what must have been going through her mind as she picked out the set . I mean … you know . And she 's his MOM . Agggh . Anyway . So , I got ready at his parents ' house , and sat on a bed staring at the clock thinking , " 30 minutes until I become Mrs . Canim . This is a big deal . " And I started shaking a little and my eyes were welling up with tears , so my darling MIL swooped in with some baklava ( I had 3 pieces - sue me ) and helped me buckle my shoes because I couldn 't do it myself . The Ceremony : I 'm not gonna lie to you guys . The Turkish marriage ceremony is rather … unceremonious . Canim 's father and two best friends walked me into the belediye wedding salon ( aka city hall ) . He was pacing and waiting anxiously for me to arrive . When we saw each other , we hugged and tried really hard not to cry . After taking lots of pictures , everyone left us alone to say our vows to each other ( Turkish couples normally don 't do that , as it is assumed that by showing up for the ceremony , you already promise to be the ideal spouse until you die . But I 'm American . I like contracts and having things speWe switched our rings onto our left hands , had a short and sweet kiss ( once on the lips and once on my forehead , which I found so adorable ) , and then cut the cake . Oh , this was our cake topper : International LoveCourtesy of Giving Ink on Etsy ! https : / / www . etsy . com / shop / givingINK ? ref = l2 - shop - info - name After the ceremony , we took pictures in a park along the sea , but it really felt like taking pictures on the surface of the freaking sun . Then , we went back to his parents ' house to freshen up . After that we had dinner at our favorite restaurant which means " Snow White " but has absolutely nothing to do with a princess or dwarves . After dinner came the real party - our " mini - moon " at the Hilton . Let me tell you - I 've never stayed in a Hilton before , and now that I have , I don 't know how I can ever stay in a pansion or even a different 5 - star hotel . That place was a piece of American heaven , I tell ya . It was like sleeping on a cloud . We were treated like stars , with far too many free drinks ( including a bottle of champagne ) , impressive room service , and they let us check out several hours later than we were supposed to . It was paradise . All in all , every time I think of that day ( aka 5 days ago ) , I can 't help but grin ear - to - ear . I 'm glad we didn 't wait . Got the ring ( mine is obviously on the right ) just in time , so I didn 't have to foam at the mouth like Bridezilla . Crisis averted . Brooch bouquet . 22Aug2014 Work Friendships : Not the Perfect Blendship by yabancibride Well , I 've been back in Turkey for 5 days now . Being reunited with Canim has breathed some life back into me . It 's fantastic and we have some SUPER exciting things coming up in the next week ( a post about that will follow ) . I have been back at work for 3 days . It 's a little surreal and it 's definitely taking some time to get myself back into full Workey ( work in Turkey ) mode . I have been " promoted " to team leader for my department . Awesome right ? No . Not awesome . I mean , I 'm thrilled that my boss believes in me enough to have given me the position , and it will be a great learning experience and of course it will look great on my resume . That said , I am also now managing people who : 1 . Are older than me by at least 10 years ( some 20 ) . 2 . Have been in this line of work longer than I have been . 3 . Have been working with this specific company longer than I have been . I think I was a bit of a dark horse during the application process in June ( for reasons listed above ) . Last year was my first year with the company , but it was my second year in Turkey ( Workey ) . I arrived later than the other foreigners because of work visa drama , but I hit the ground running and held my own for the entire year . I didn 't go through the typical culture shock that was expected of many first - year employees because I had already done that in a far less nurturing environment the year before . To make it worse , some colleagues had suggested that we have a department vote to choose the new team leader . I pride myself on being a practical person , and I figure out the way things work rather quickly . My boss is a powerful , driven woman . She has clear vision for our company , and if you are not with her , you 're gonna get left in the dust . If you aren 't picking up what she 's putting down , then it 's best to relocate . Basically : if you can 't work with her , move on , because you aren 't gonna change her or the system . That said , I KNEW that a vote would be a co " Congratulations 🙂 I wish you well with your new responsibilities . It 's going to be a lot and you will have a very full , if not overloaded , plate . Congrats again ! " I cannot quit this position , nor do I plan to or think I should , because I am willing to prove myself and I truly do care about the company and I want to do everything in my power to help it thrive . I believe my boss chose me for many reasons , and one of them is definitely my relationship with colleagues . I have a good rapport with them without actually being their friends . It 's hard in Workey because when you meet other foreigners , you may feel temptation / pressure to become " fast friends " with them simply because you have a language or culture or foreignness in common . But that 's not always the best idea , especially when that person is your co - worker . My philosophy is that it 's best to treat my Workey co - workers as I would my co - workers in America . Be kind , friendly , thoughtful , respectful , socialize / fraternize from time to time , but keep the professional boundaries clearly marked . The distance I maintained last year will help me this year , because it is already clear that I am friendly but I am not their homegirl and I can 't be pushed / pressured / bribed into helping people get away with slacking and lacking . Still , it is only day 3 and I 'm wiped . I 've got a long year ahead of me ! dark horse , foreign , friendship , haters , professionalism , promotion , Turkey , work , working in Turkey 1 Comment 28Jul2014 " Let Us Love - Let Us Be Loved " by yabancibride Today is an important day in Turkey and in the Muslim community in general . It is Ramazan Bayramı , or Şeker Bayramı , or Eid al - Fitr ( I can only pronounce 2 out of the 3 ) . Today marks the end of Ramazan ( Ramadan ) , or the Islamic holy month of fasting . I have yet to be in Turkey during Ramazan , and I honestly can 't describe what today 's celebrations must have looked , sounded , tasted or smelled like . Maybe next year . Sultanahmet Mosque in Istanbul . The banner says , " Let Us Love " and " Let Us Be Loved " . Over the last few days , I 've had a heavy heart because of how much misery and conflict is surrounding my loved ones in that part of the world . Turkey has had a whole lot to say ( and excuse me , but a lot of what I 've read is shameful , embarrassing , and not even factual . Come on guys ) about the newest chapter of the Israel - Palestine conflict . I am slightly concerned about what will happen to me personally upon my return , because I know that in addition to rising anti - Semitism , people have taken to lashing out on places like the American consulate near my home . It feels like the news gets more and more grim with each passing day , with no hope for peace or a resolution of any kind . I know my opinions and my experiences are as significant as a speck of dust when compared to people who are * actually * struggling over there , but I can 't help feeling frustrated and confused by the hatred that seems to be spewing like an oil spill . I 'm from New York , which I really do consider to be the capital of the world ( sorry , Istanbul ) . I have friends of pretty much every shape , size , color and creed . If you looked at my Facebook news feed and saw only what my friends share and not what I share , you would have no idea where I stood politically , socially , economically , whatever . I have friends who are very conservative and share Glenn Beck articles - unironically . I have friends who are super duper liberal and probably think I 'm backwards and out of touch for believing in Jesus and choosing to change my last name to my fiance 's . I have friends who have shared countless pro - Israel things , and I have friends who have shared heartbreaking news from Palestine . We disagree , sometimes on a lot of things . But we always agree to show each other love and respect . No matter what . Period . At the risk of sounding naive and self - involved , why the heck can 't the rest of the world do this too ? Fear and ignorance have far too much control over us . I took my niece to get her hair blown out the other day ( she 's only 3 but I feel it isThe woman who washed my hair was of Egyptian descent , and upon seeing my engagement ring said , " Yeah , Turkish men LOVE to marry women who don 't know anything about Turkish culture . They can take advantage . Is your fiance a MUSLIM ? ! " So I said , " Well , I 've lived there for two years and my Turkish is at a conversational level . I held my own for a year without his help , despite a helluva lot of adversity . I think I know a bit about the culture . " ( I didn 't answer the religion question because my fiance 's faith is between him and God . ) The other idiot told me I had green hair . Do you have a clear idea of the caliber of individuals I was dealing with ? This is why people need to travel . I know it isn 't always possible , but I believe it is critical to understanding what is happening in the world around us . Before I moved to Turkey , I honestly thought I 'd get death threats or something for not being Muslim . I was concerned about having to cover my head . I look back on that and roll my eyes , because I know how silly it is now . If I hadn 't taken the chance and actually EXPERIENCED a different culture and lifestyle , I would probably still be as ignorant as the broad who said my hair was green ( just kidding . I couldn 't be that dumb ) . If we don 't take the time to experience that which frightens us , we are destined to always fear and hate the " other " at their expense and our own . I wear a crescent and a star pendant around my neck because Turkey is literally and figuratively close to my heart . I will defend Muslims when I hear people making ignorant , hateful generalizations about them . I will defend Jews when I hear people making ignorant , hateful generalizations about them . I have had people question my faith because I show too much " sympathy " towards Muslims . Frankly , that pisses me off . If people could stop being so ignorant and fearful , they would see that our similarities greatly outnumber our differences . How about joining forces to create positive change , for once ? Let us love . Let us be loved . # EndRant The reason I am back in the States for 56 days is to complete grad school , which means completing 100 hours of an internship . You would not believe how difficult it is to complete 100 hours over the course of 56 days ( even less weekdays ) . My university wanted me to do 50 this summer and 50 next summer . I have been fighting their requirement since January , " persistent widow " style * , and only last Friday did they finally decide to let me do it my way . Incidentally , my neck cramp began last Thursday . My body and my brain are either too connected , or not connected enough . I feel a decent amount of stress , but my brain has suppressed its instincts to be overcome with anxiety , or to randomly cry at inappropriate times . It 's gone into Beast Mode , as though it knows we only have 30 days left and we need to just suck it up and get ' er done . I 've started a new diet , which is actually going very well , but the problem is I am not stress eating like I used to . I mean , it 's great that I 'm not stress eating , but my body is like , " HEY ! You 're upset / stressed / frustrated / sad . You should totally be eating something salty and maybe oily right now . " But my brain , with its new dedication to healthy choices , says , " NO WAY . Do you know how much money I 've invested in this new diet plan ? Do you not realize we have a wedding coming up ? ! " Since I neglected to give my body a healthy way to release the stress , it decided to manifest itself in a throbbing , fiery ball between my neck and my right shoulder . Now that ice , heating pads , Aleve , Advil , Tylenol and Bengay have failed me , I 've decided to try acupuncture . I am counting down the hours . I have to endure two more work days before I can have someone prick me with needles and holistically nurse me back to good health . I have a LOT to do in these last 30 days , and it can 't get done with my head cocked to the left side ( looking normal and attractive is included in my list of " a LOT to do " ) . * The " persistent widow " is a reference to a parable Jesus used to teach His disciples the importance of being persistent in prayer and never losing hope . When I 'm frustrated with the system and I feel like plopping down on the ground , banging my fists and pouting like a toddler , I try to remember this parable . acupuncture , diet , grad school , internship , parable , persistent widow , stress , stress eating Leave a comment
|
In June , I went to Orhan # 1 for a routine updo for a work - related event . I 've known Orhan # 1 longer than I 've known my husband . In fact , I went to him the day I went on my first date with my husband . He 's seen me in some pretty desperate beauty situations , but he 's always managed to help me pull myself together . He 's always made me look good and no one , I mean no one in all of Turkey can do a blowout like he does ( AND FOR ONLY 5 LIRA ! That 's less than a cup of Starbucks coffee ) . ANYWAY . On that fateful day , I came to the salon wearing my usual silver / white gold standard jewelry pieces . For the party , I was planning to wear gold , so when I got dressed ( at the salon ) after I was all dolled up , I removed Swatch # 1 ( my first Christmas present from Canim ) , because as you can see , it is silver . Two or three days after the party , I realized my watch had gone missing . I searched every crevice of my apartment and Canim 's car , to no avail . I realized ( with a twinge of horror ) that I had left it at the salon . I wanted to believe that Orhan or his employees had found it and put it in a safe place , waiting for me to return . But when Canim called him ( several times ) , he said he hadn 't seen any watches . CUT TO : Late August , when I returned to Turkey from New York . My precious husband surprised me with a new , identical Swatch surrounded by roses . I mean really , I don 't know how I got so lucky ! A few days later , I received a message from Orhan # 1 . It was a picture of - you guessed it ! - Swatch # 1 . He said someone found it while cleaning the salon . My first thought was , " You mean you haven 't cleaned the salon in two months ? ? " Canim said he probably had the watch the whole time , but held on to it in case I didn 't return to Turkey . When he saw that I had returned ( we 're Facebook friends ) , he decided to let me know he had the watch so I would go back . I really don 't want to believe that theory , especially because O does not need to be sneaky to get me to go back . I like the way he does my hair ! That 's enough for me ! So , as " revenge " , when I got married a few days later , I went to the salon and got my hair and makeup done . I lied about where I was going ( " a friend 's wedding " ) , and left the salon in a hurry to go get hitched . Two days later , ( thanks again to Facebook ) , Orhan saw his work of art all over my wedding announcement . I only paid 1 / 3 of the price for the bridal package . Well , to be fair , I didn 't have a real wedding and the price is completely bogus anyway . Since August , I 've bounced back and forth between some salons in my town , but they suck . Plain and simple . And they charge more . I decided to be brave and let Orhan # 2 ( who may in fact be a Neanderthal ) dye my hair . I figured dark brown is the EASIEST thing to do , aside from black . I brought pictures AND my live - in translator to explain it to them . Tell me why I ended up with that horrendous BLEACHY CHLORINE GREEN color ? ! ! ? So after a very calm , firm , " Bu renk istemiyorum . Kahverengi istiyorum . Sari , yesil istemiyorum . Bu renk cok buyuk bir problem , " and a call to my husband , they managed to get it right . Mind you , Orhan # 2 was blowing my green hair out like it was nothing , chomping is gum like a cow , and when I called him out on it , he laughed and said , " This is a problem ? " My second wedding is in less than 50 days . I need to get this color right once and for all . So what do I do ? Swallow my pride , even though I was wronged first , and go back to Orhan # 1 ? Do I try to find a third party to do it ? 8Oct2014 The Foreign Feminist by yabancibride Spend a short time in Turkey and you will notice that on the surface , women here are more feminine than the majority of their American counterparts . That 's not to say that American women have abandoned their bras and their razors , but the gender roles here are just somehow different . If you look at the number of housewives ( homemakers , whatever ) in Turkey versus the number of housewives ( homemakers ) in the States , I feel like those figures would support my claim . While plenty of women have careers outside of the home in Turkey , it seems that as a whole , Turkish society still allows for women to stay at home . Since the " f " word has appeared in the title and the photo for this post , perhaps you are expecting me to complain about gender roles in Turkey . Well , I 'm not going to . Over the last few days / weeks , I 've been wondering what the " feminist " spectrum really looks like . Of course , I believe women and men must be socially and economically equal . I believe both sexes are loved equally by God . Both sexes deserve the same opportunities to achieve their goals and pursue happiness . If they have the same job , their salaries ought to be the same . But does being a feminist mean that I HAVE TO want to be top dog at my job ? Does it mean that I HAVE TO want to put my career before everything else , including my marriage and my family ? While working on my master 's this summer , I told my advisor about my promotion at work . She liked to patronize me and suggested I only got the promotion because I speak English . I corrected her right away and let her know that I work with many other English - speakers . Then she said , " Well , good for you . Keep climbing that ladder . God knows you definitely wouldn 't want to be a Turkish housewife . " WHY IS THAT A BAD THING ? ! Could being a feminist ALSO possibly mean that if I choose to , I can have as many children as I want - which is realistically no more than two - and then stay home to raise them myself ? I worked in a daycare for four years . I took care of infants ( 8 weeks old and up ) , which meant I regularly had to take babies away from their crying mothers and assure everyone that the babies would be just fine when they came to get them 8 hours later . Don 't get me wrong - 90 % of those mothers were doing what they absolutely had to do in order to support their families , and they were spending a FORTUNE to make sure their babies were taken care of . But deep down , it always terrified me to think that I would most likely be one of those mothers one day , and I wouldn 't have $ 15 , 000 to send my infant to the " best " daycare in my area . I would most likely only be able to afford those sketchy home daycares that may or may not double as a meth lab . I live in a country where it 's normal and acceptable to be a housewife . I 've seen the extremes , too . There are the Desperate Housewives , who leave their villas looking like a walking advertisement for their plastic surgeon , in an ensemble that costs more than my entire wardrobe combined . Then there are the desperate housewives ( there 's a difference ) who have at least three kids dangling off of their exhausted bodies , which they have to hoist up onto the bus , along with the stroller and groceries , and they probably haven 't had even five minutes to themselves just to shower in two days . I 'd most likely fall somewhere in the middle , which isn 't a terrible place to be . But of course , at this point , being a stay - at - home mom is more of a pipe dream for me . I 've crunched some numbers , and I would have to work at my current job for at least 3 more years before a baby could even be a twinkle in my eye . Then of course , there 's the other side of the coin . Even if Canim won the lottery and we could live in a penthouse overlooking the sea and I could afford to fly to NY as often as I 'd like while still being able to afford having my hair blown out thrice a week , what kind of a housewife would I be ? You decide : - I look up recipes on the internet - which women here won 't explicitly poo - poo , but they 've remarked on it with some disdain . Meanwhile , I feel like I should be applauded for actually using Pinterest for recipes and attempting to make them Pinterest - perfect to catch up with my peers in the States ! Excuse me for not having the recipe for dolma in my DNA ! - If I don 't have polished nails , I can still sleep well at night . How can I clean my house AND maintain a perfect manicure ? ? ? ? CHOOSE ONE . So , I could be a successful housewife , just not by Turkish standards . But my husband loves me , even with all of the things I listed , and he doesn 't measure me by Turkish standards . My value as a woman does not depend on my domestic capabilities or my professional accolades . It depends on something else , which my husband already seems to understand ( hence his decision to be my husband ) , and I , for some reason , am struggling to figure out . 19Sep2014 The Lonely Yabanci by yabancibride We 've been married for three weeks , and it has been a little crazy . Canim is a great husband . No surprise there . His family and I have gotten closer and we are able to understand each other better , though neither side has really improved their language skills . Things at work have been rough . My new position is literally giving me gray hair . I found one two hours ago . More work , a lot more responsibility ( read : PRESSURE ) , no extra money , and my colleagues are ( inexplicably ) still showing resentment towards me because I was chosen for the job . On top of that , due in part to my colleagues being spiteful , my company informed me that everything in my apartment ( which was leased by my job until July of this year ) has to be returned ( and replaced at my expense ) by mid - October . To add insult to injury , a company associate disrespected Canim . BRO . I flipped out . I showed my teeth . I was scolded by my boss but I refused to back down . Our little intervention ended peacefully and while I know she 'll never admit it , I think she was shocked and a little bit impressed by my ability to go from Glinda the Good Witch to the Wicked Witch of the West and back in no time . I knew I had it in me , but she has only ever seen me being a delicate , agreeable flower . The thing is I JUST made vows to my husband two weeks ago , so they 're fresh in my mind . I will forsake ( or annihilate ) all others for him , if necessary . It was necessary . Feeling betrayed by my already sketchy colleagues , plus being in the doghouse with my boss has made me realize that I don 't have close friends here . I have plenty of people who care about me , and for that I am blessed , but the people in this country who really know me and love me anyway can be counted on one hand , with fingers to spare . Sometimes I feel like people are " Turkish nice " to me , which means they smile at me whenever they see me , they exchange various pleasantries and olsuns with me , and they may occasionally gush over me because I said one Turkish word or because my dress is cute . But the minute I make a mistake , or raise my voice ( in excitement , not even anger ) , or if I dare to put my foot down for any reason , they will kus me and forever consider me to be an entitled ingrate . My fellow yabancis are no better . Sometimes they 're actually worse . You 'd think our foreignness would lead to a sense of camaraderie . Instead , it leads to a sense of competition , where one party inevitably feels the need to be the boss or the expert . Why can 't we all just chill out and lift each other up ? This stress and loneliness has led to me feeling depressed . Not necessarily sad , although definitely sad sometimes . But I feel like my battery is low and I just want to escape . I sleep a lot , and I am often irritable towards the one person who loves me for me - Canim . I wonder if other yabancis ever feel like this . I wonder if this is just a lame pity party and if it will pass soon . 2 Comments 3Sep2014 Spoiler Alert : We ELOPED ! by yabancibride " It 's a beautiful night . We 're looking for something [ fun ] to do . Hey baby , I think I wanna marry you . " Your eyes do not deceive you . The yabanci bride who only wanted one small , simple , intimate wedding ceremony will have had THREE celebrations ( of varying degrees ) before the end of 2015 . But hey , at least the first one was small , simple , and intimate . 🙂 We eloped for practical and romantic reasons . Practical : Housing . It 's a long story , but I was going to have to change ( read : DOWNGRADE ) my apartment and we were tired of living in two different cities , so in an effort to keep things helal ( or halal or kosher or whatever you want to say ) , we decided to be married on paper so we could live together without feeling a black cloud of ayip looming over us . Romantic : There was no way we could wait until January to be husband and wife . We 're each other 's best friends , partners , teammates , all of that good stuff . To us , engagement is not about figuring out whether or not your fiance is " the one " . That 's what dating is for . I told Canim not to propose unless he was prepared to marry me the next day if need be ( why would " need be " ? I don 't know but I had to be dramatic to make my point ) . So , we were ready to be married as soon as we got engaged . Engagement ( again , to us ) is about planning , preparing , and making arrangements for the future . Where will you live ? How will you balance finances ? Blah blah blah boring adult things . In July , we got my parents ' blessing to go ahead and be married on paper as long as we will still have the reception in January and the American reception in July . Fair enough . Everybody gets a little bit of what they want . I bought a simple lace sheath , my brilliant and artistic friend made me a brooch bouquet ( which will be used at all three weddings ) , I Pinterested a hairstyle , ordered some pink shoes and sixpence coins , and two weeks after I returned to Turkey ( August 30th ) , I became Mrs . Canim . In another post , I will explain the process for an American - Turkish marriage ceremony . Most of that was a blur , to be honest , because Canim is SUPER efficient ( a quality that did not After I was dolled up , my brother - in - law ( BIL ) and mother - in - law ( MIL ) picked me up . I was disappointed to learn that the bozos at the jeweler had failed to have my wedding band ready in time for the ceremony . However , I opted to not go Bridezilla on said bozos because , to quote my husband ( hehehe ) , " Darling , here is Turkey . Every time something is wrong . " The end . Full stop . There 's always something wrong , so don 't sweat it . One hour before the ceremony , when we were less than 1 KM away from the house , the bozos called and told my BIL that the wedding band was ready . So , BIL turned around to go exactly where we had just come from . He drove like a bat outta Hades to get the ring . While MIL and I waited in the car , she turned to me and said , " The box in the bag is yours . " So I opened it and discovered a SIX PIECE lingerie set . Gorgeous white satin . I was flattered , humbled , and then REALLY embarrassed to think about what must have been going through her mind as she picked out the set . I mean … you know . And she 's his MOM . Agggh . Anyway . So , I got ready at his parents ' house , and sat on a bed staring at the clock thinking , " 30 minutes until I become Mrs . Canim . This is a big deal . " And I started shaking a little and my eyes were welling up with tears , so my darling MIL swooped in with some baklava ( I had 3 pieces - sue me ) and helped me buckle my shoes because I couldn 't do it myself . The Ceremony : I 'm not gonna lie to you guys . The Turkish marriage ceremony is rather … unceremonious . Canim 's father and two best friends walked me into the belediye wedding salon ( aka city hall ) . He was pacing and waiting anxiously for me to arrive . When we saw each other , we hugged and tried really hard not to cry . After taking lots of pictures , everyone left us alone to say our vows to each other ( Turkish couples normally don 't do that , as it is assumed that by showing up for the ceremony , you already promise to be the ideal spouse until you die . But I 'm American . I like contracts and having things speWe switched our rings onto our left hands , had a short and sweet kiss ( once on the lips and once on my forehead , which I found so adorable ) , and then cut the cake . Oh , this was our cake topper : International LoveCourtesy of Giving Ink on Etsy ! https : / / www . etsy . com / shop / givingINK ? ref = l2 - shop - info - name After the ceremony , we took pictures in a park along the sea , but it really felt like taking pictures on the surface of the freaking sun . Then , we went back to his parents ' house to freshen up . After that we had dinner at our favorite restaurant which means " Snow White " but has absolutely nothing to do with a princess or dwarves . After dinner came the real party - our " mini - moon " at the Hilton . Let me tell you - I 've never stayed in a Hilton before , and now that I have , I don 't know how I can ever stay in a pansion or even a different 5 - star hotel . That place was a piece of American heaven , I tell ya . It was like sleeping on a cloud . We were treated like stars , with far too many free drinks ( including a bottle of champagne ) , impressive room service , and they let us check out several hours later than we were supposed to . It was paradise . All in all , every time I think of that day ( aka 5 days ago ) , I can 't help but grin ear - to - ear . I 'm glad we didn 't wait . Got the ring ( mine is obviously on the right ) just in time , so I didn 't have to foam at the mouth like Bridezilla . Crisis averted . Brooch bouquet . 22Aug2014 Work Friendships : Not the Perfect Blendship by yabancibride Well , I 've been back in Turkey for 5 days now . Being reunited with Canim has breathed some life back into me . It 's fantastic and we have some SUPER exciting things coming up in the next week ( a post about that will follow ) . I have been back at work for 3 days . It 's a little surreal and it 's definitely taking some time to get myself back into full Workey ( work in Turkey ) mode . I have been " promoted " to team leader for my department . Awesome right ? No . Not awesome . I mean , I 'm thrilled that my boss believes in me enough to have given me the position , and it will be a great learning experience and of course it will look great on my resume . That said , I am also now managing people who : 1 . Are older than me by at least 10 years ( some 20 ) . 2 . Have been in this line of work longer than I have been . 3 . Have been working with this specific company longer than I have been . I think I was a bit of a dark horse during the application process in June ( for reasons listed above ) . Last year was my first year with the company , but it was my second year in Turkey ( Workey ) . I arrived later than the other foreigners because of work visa drama , but I hit the ground running and held my own for the entire year . I didn 't go through the typical culture shock that was expected of many first - year employees because I had already done that in a far less nurturing environment the year before . To make it worse , some colleagues had suggested that we have a department vote to choose the new team leader . I pride myself on being a practical person , and I figure out the way things work rather quickly . My boss is a powerful , driven woman . She has clear vision for our company , and if you are not with her , you 're gonna get left in the dust . If you aren 't picking up what she 's putting down , then it 's best to relocate . Basically : if you can 't work with her , move on , because you aren 't gonna change her or the system . That said , I KNEW that a vote would be a co " Congratulations 🙂 I wish you well with your new responsibilities . It 's going to be a lot and you will have a very full , if not overloaded , plate . Congrats again ! " I cannot quit this position , nor do I plan to or think I should , because I am willing to prove myself and I truly do care about the company and I want to do everything in my power to help it thrive . I believe my boss chose me for many reasons , and one of them is definitely my relationship with colleagues . I have a good rapport with them without actually being their friends . It 's hard in Workey because when you meet other foreigners , you may feel temptation / pressure to become " fast friends " with them simply because you have a language or culture or foreignness in common . But that 's not always the best idea , especially when that person is your co - worker . My philosophy is that it 's best to treat my Workey co - workers as I would my co - workers in America . Be kind , friendly , thoughtful , respectful , socialize / fraternize from time to time , but keep the professional boundaries clearly marked . The distance I maintained last year will help me this year , because it is already clear that I am friendly but I am not their homegirl and I can 't be pushed / pressured / bribed into helping people get away with slacking and lacking . Still , it is only day 3 and I 'm wiped . I 've got a long year ahead of me ! dark horse , foreign , friendship , haters , professionalism , promotion , Turkey , work , working in Turkey 1 Comment 28Jul2014 " Let Us Love - Let Us Be Loved " by yabancibride Today is an important day in Turkey and in the Muslim community in general . It is Ramazan Bayramı , or Şeker Bayramı , or Eid al - Fitr ( I can only pronounce 2 out of the 3 ) . Today marks the end of Ramazan ( Ramadan ) , or the Islamic holy month of fasting . I have yet to be in Turkey during Ramazan , and I honestly can 't describe what today 's celebrations must have looked , sounded , tasted or smelled like . Maybe next year . Sultanahmet Mosque in Istanbul . The banner says , " Let Us Love " and " Let Us Be Loved " . Over the last few days , I 've had a heavy heart because of how much misery and conflict is surrounding my loved ones in that part of the world . Turkey has had a whole lot to say ( and excuse me , but a lot of what I 've read is shameful , embarrassing , and not even factual . Come on guys ) about the newest chapter of the Israel - Palestine conflict . I am slightly concerned about what will happen to me personally upon my return , because I know that in addition to rising anti - Semitism , people have taken to lashing out on places like the American consulate near my home . It feels like the news gets more and more grim with each passing day , with no hope for peace or a resolution of any kind . I know my opinions and my experiences are as significant as a speck of dust when compared to people who are * actually * struggling over there , but I can 't help feeling frustrated and confused by the hatred that seems to be spewing like an oil spill . I 'm from New York , which I really do consider to be the capital of the world ( sorry , Istanbul ) . I have friends of pretty much every shape , size , color and creed . If you looked at my Facebook news feed and saw only what my friends share and not what I share , you would have no idea where I stood politically , socially , economically , whatever . I have friends who are very conservative and share Glenn Beck articles - unironically . I have friends who are super duper liberal and probably think I 'm backwards and out of touch for believing in Jesus and choosing to change my last name to my fiance 's . I have friends who have shared countless pro - Israel things , and I have friends who have shared heartbreaking news from Palestine . We disagree , sometimes on a lot of things . But we always agree to show each other love and respect . No matter what . Period . At the risk of sounding naive and self - involved , why the heck can 't the rest of the world do this too ? Fear and ignorance have far too much control over us . I took my niece to get her hair blown out the other day ( she 's only 3 but I feel it isThe woman who washed my hair was of Egyptian descent , and upon seeing my engagement ring said , " Yeah , Turkish men LOVE to marry women who don 't know anything about Turkish culture . They can take advantage . Is your fiance a MUSLIM ? ! " So I said , " Well , I 've lived there for two years and my Turkish is at a conversational level . I held my own for a year without his help , despite a helluva lot of adversity . I think I know a bit about the culture . " ( I didn 't answer the religion question because my fiance 's faith is between him and God . ) The other idiot told me I had green hair . Do you have a clear idea of the caliber of individuals I was dealing with ? This is why people need to travel . I know it isn 't always possible , but I believe it is critical to understanding what is happening in the world around us . Before I moved to Turkey , I honestly thought I 'd get death threats or something for not being Muslim . I was concerned about having to cover my head . I look back on that and roll my eyes , because I know how silly it is now . If I hadn 't taken the chance and actually EXPERIENCED a different culture and lifestyle , I would probably still be as ignorant as the broad who said my hair was green ( just kidding . I couldn 't be that dumb ) . If we don 't take the time to experience that which frightens us , we are destined to always fear and hate the " other " at their expense and our own . I wear a crescent and a star pendant around my neck because Turkey is literally and figuratively close to my heart . I will defend Muslims when I hear people making ignorant , hateful generalizations about them . I will defend Jews when I hear people making ignorant , hateful generalizations about them . I have had people question my faith because I show too much " sympathy " towards Muslims . Frankly , that pisses me off . If people could stop being so ignorant and fearful , they would see that our similarities greatly outnumber our differences . How about joining forces to create positive change , for once ? Let us love . Let us be loved . # EndRant The reason I am back in the States for 56 days is to complete grad school , which means completing 100 hours of an internship . You would not believe how difficult it is to complete 100 hours over the course of 56 days ( even less weekdays ) . My university wanted me to do 50 this summer and 50 next summer . I have been fighting their requirement since January , " persistent widow " style * , and only last Friday did they finally decide to let me do it my way . Incidentally , my neck cramp began last Thursday . My body and my brain are either too connected , or not connected enough . I feel a decent amount of stress , but my brain has suppressed its instincts to be overcome with anxiety , or to randomly cry at inappropriate times . It 's gone into Beast Mode , as though it knows we only have 30 days left and we need to just suck it up and get ' er done . I 've started a new diet , which is actually going very well , but the problem is I am not stress eating like I used to . I mean , it 's great that I 'm not stress eating , but my body is like , " HEY ! You 're upset / stressed / frustrated / sad . You should totally be eating something salty and maybe oily right now . " But my brain , with its new dedication to healthy choices , says , " NO WAY . Do you know how much money I 've invested in this new diet plan ? Do you not realize we have a wedding coming up ? ! " Since I neglected to give my body a healthy way to release the stress , it decided to manifest itself in a throbbing , fiery ball between my neck and my right shoulder . Now that ice , heating pads , Aleve , Advil , Tylenol and Bengay have failed me , I 've decided to try acupuncture . I am counting down the hours . I have to endure two more work days before I can have someone prick me with needles and holistically nurse me back to good health . I have a LOT to do in these last 30 days , and it can 't get done with my head cocked to the left side ( looking normal and attractive is included in my list of " a LOT to do " ) . * The " persistent widow " is a reference to a parable Jesus used to teach His disciples the importance of being persistent in prayer and never losing hope . When I 'm frustrated with the system and I feel like plopping down on the ground , banging my fists and pouting like a toddler , I try to remember this parable . acupuncture , diet , grad school , internship , parable , persistent widow , stress , stress eating Leave a comment
|
Amberly was so helpful all weekend . She straightened up the loft . She read books while Lilly sat on the potty . She helped plant the garden . She swept the floor after breakfast this morning and even though she accidentally knocked a picture off the wall with the broom handle and broke the frame the floor was nice and clean . After their showers , she helped Lilly get dressed for church . She had them wear their beautiful , ankle - length , matching dresses from Christmas and I styled their hair in matching pig tails . They both looked so darling . I should have taken a picture . During church , Lilly 's teacher in Nursery B stuck her head in Nursery C to tell me that Lilly had a problem . She 'd gone potty on the floor . Horrified and surprised , I quickly handed off the child on my lap to head to Nursery B to take care of the " problem " . Lilly has been making good progress at potty training this week but I didn 't want to risk it so I had planned for her to wear a diaper to church . Surely , she had a diaper on . She sometimes took off her own diaper to try to go to the potty by herself and I wondered if this is what had happened . But no . She hadn 't worn a diaper to church . She didn 't have on panties either . She hadn 't worn anything under her dress . Oh ! Seriously , a mother 's nightmare . While I frantically hurried to remove the mess from the floor , watched by a circle of disgusted and curious two - year - olds , I realized that Amberly had helped Lilly get dressed and that I hadn 't even thought to check what she had on under her dress . Lilly 's dress was also a mess , so Utah Dad took her home for a quick bath and a change before rushing back to help in nursery . Not long after we got married , Utah Dad 's parents bought a Nintendo 64 . Utah Dad 's five year old nephew begged for help playing Mario and before long we were wasting amazing amounts of time attempting to rescue Peach from the evil clutches of Bowser . The addiction was so bad , that we even had Mario dreams . Once Peach was safe , we discovered MarioKart . Utah Dad , his brother and I would too often stay up until two in the morning racing and talking . Oh , waking up in the morning was hard . Realizing that we had a problem , Utah Dad and I put the video games behind us and decided that especially when we had children we would not cave to the pressure to buy a gaming system for our home . Our resolve strengthened when we met our oldest son . Neal has an extremely obsessive nature . He only has to play a game for a little while before it becomes an addiction . Needless to say , he loves to visit his relatives that have gaming systems ( pretty much all of them ) . He has begged us for years for a Wii and we have resisted . Until now . This school year , we used a Wii as a ( very powerful ) reward / bribe to motivate Neal to do well and be good at school . He did and he did and the school year came to an end and we had to make good . We now own a Wii . Our Wii 's name is " Privilege " . She belongs to Utah Dad and I and time playing the Wii is moderated and can be earned or lost . We didn 't buy any additional games yet . Those will also be earned . Our bishop in our ward in New Hampshire , who I love like a father , requested that the bread used for the sacrament be freshly homemade bread . When we first moved there , I thought this requirement was completely ridiculous - - mostly , because I was a leader in the young women program and the young women had been asked to bake the bread and so occasionally it would also be my responsibility to bake the bread and I don 't bake bread . My New Hampshire friends would probably also say that part of my problem was that I was from Utah and you know . . . we just didn 't do it that way in Utah . They were probably at least partly right . However , it didn 't take very long before I not only appreciated freshly baked bread on Sunday but I loved it . No more squishy , soggy , recently thawed , spent a year in the freezer , grocery store bread . There were some weeks when the homemade bread was so delicious that one small bite wasn 't enough and I spent the rest of the meeting wondering if I could get the recipe ( or talk the baker into baking me another loaf since I don 't bake bread ) . Fast Sunday could be particularly dangerous . The young women in that ward knew how to bake bread and I learned too when I took my turn . I know that it doesn 't really matter what kind of bread we have during the sacrament . The purpose is to remember our Savior Jesus Christ and renew my covenants and I can and should do that even if the bread is crusty and dry and should probably be fed to the ducks . Even so , the best word to describe the sacrament bread in our former ward was heavenly and that is definitely not a bad thing . I read Herman Melville 's Moby Dick because I wanted to read Ahab 's Wife . Ahab 's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund can stand alone , but I 'm just like that . Because both books are fairly long and I 've been rather busy lately , I 've been reading about whaling ships , whales , the ocean , Nantucket , etc . for over a month now . Besides the reading , Thomas and I have looked up video clips online of sperm whales to fill in the visual gaps of Melville 's details . Utah Dad and I have been enjoying the Blue Planet videos from BBC in the evenings . We 've also watched the movie Moby Dick twice - - once by ourselves and again with the kids . ( By the way , Gregory Peck makes a great Captain Ahab . ) I 'm also very vocal about what I 'm reading , which means I 've shared all the details with Utah Dad and the kids . It was obvious that we 've become a little obsessed when one evening this week , the kids rearranged the lawn furniture into the " Pequod " and were making Thomas pretend to be Captain Ahab . They referred to Utah Dad as Moby Dick . I wish I were rich enough to fly the entire family to Nantucket for our own adventure . Honestly , my first impression after finishing Moby Dick was disappointment . Melville created eccentric , inimitable and yet completely believable characters and put them in an intriguing situation and then abandons them for hundreds of pages to include every single particular point about the variety of whales , the anatomy of whales , and the science of whaling . I actually enjoyed learning about it but I felt that the tale got lost amidst the minutiae of factual details . However , when Melville does get to the heart of the story it is fascinating , riveting , and emotionally moving and it is clear why Moby Dick is often considered the greatest American novel . The emotional conflicts between characters and themselves are Shakespearean in scope and ultimately Captain Ahab 's monomaniac desire for revenge against the beast results in tragedy ( I hope I didn 't ruin it for you ) . Captain Ahab is one of literature 's most enigmatic characters . I found him captivating and he is , shall we say , man enough to inspire another book . Naslund , the author of Ahab 's Wife read the few lines in Moby Dick that mention Ahab 's wife and son and imagined what kind of woman would marry and be loved by Captain Ahab ( his love for her exists even at the height of his insanity ) . The resulting novel is fabulous . I enjoyed it more than most books I 've read recently . The character of Una is strong , intelligent , and witty . She is unhampered by the time 's constraints of women and creates her own adventures . She survives life 's tragedies through her own mental strength and desire . She is a perfect match for Captain Ahab . The novel is well researched and peopled with interesting characters both fictional and real . Una befriends transcendentalist Margaret Fuller and astronomer Maria Mitchell , real Nantucket and Boston women of learning . She is also present when former slave and author Frederick Douglass speaks in Nantucket and excites the abolitionist movement . Naslund accurately and beautifully depicts the early nineteenth century whaling experience , the settings of Nantucket and Kentucky and even the political , religious , and philosophical atmosphere . Most impressively , Naslund seamlessly weaves the story of Moby Dick into her own much newer work . It fits so well , that one might actually be convinced that Naslund and Melville wrote their manuscripts side by side . Quite simply , I loved Ahab 's Wife . It is exactly what I expect from a novel . Don 't think my obsession with reading about whaling is over . Earlier this week I ordered In the Heart of the Sea : The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex by historian Nathaniel Philbrick . I 'm looking forward to reading about the real events that inspired Melville to write Moby Dick in the first place . Thomas ( coveting the truck in the lane next to us ) : We should sell this minivan and get a truck . Me : Our family won 't fit in a truck . That is why we drive the minivan . Thomas : Then we should get rid of some of the people in our family . Me : Oh really ? Who should we get rid of ? Thomas : Neal and Amberly . Me : Why should we get rid of them ? Thomas : Because I 'm pretty sure they want to get rid of me . Two weeks ago , Neal crawled in bed next to me to talk . " Do you remember that story I told you about the kid in my class who was trying to tackle and kick that other kid ? " He asked . I remembered the story . " Well , " he continued , " that other kid was really me . " My heart sank as he continued to tell me that for several months now , this kid in his class has pushed , tripped , tackled , kicked and hit him nearly every day after lunch and after school . For months , we 'd suspected that something unpleasant was happening at school . Neal frequently came home from school upset and he began to display some nervous habits again . His teacher was on maternity leave and there was a substitute ( a bit of a bully herself ) in the classroom for several weeks . We knew there were occasionally problems with the kids in the carpool but we had talked with the other parents and that situation seemed to be improving . When his teacher returned to school , Neal 's attitude about school also improved - - most of the time . Utah Dad and I also recognize that Neal 's situation is unique . He 's an eight - year - old in a fourth grade class where the majority of the students have already turned ten . Last year in third grade , the age difference didn 't seem so great . But this year , the other fourth graders are really growing up . They 're not little kids any more . Driving the carpool has definitely opened our eyes to this . The other kids are interested in music , pop - culture , gaming , and other preteen things . Neal is still a kid . He 's goofy . He doesn 't get their jokes . He bugs them . As parents , we 're frustrated and torn because we want him to get along with the other kids and act appropriately in an older class but we don 't want him to grow up too fast . My first reaction after hearing about the bully from Neal was my typical non - confrontational approach . Bullies come in many forms ( from the physically abusive to the " mean girl " ) and we 've all had to deal with them from time to time ( unfortunately sometimes as adults ) . My solution has always been to ignore the problem / person . So , Utah Dad , Neal and I discussed ways that Neal could avoid the bully . He could stay in the lunch room longer . He could stand with his friends . Be in a crowd . Neal agreed to try this . But he asked me to talk to the principal . That would involve an encounter and my whole body shuddered . I did send an email ( so easy and non - threatening ) to his teacher alerting her to the problem with the bully . The teacher talked to the bully but according to Neal the problems continued and he asked me again to talk to the principal . It was the weekend so I assured him that I would do it the next week . Monday came , I got busy and forgot . Neal came home from school and said that the bullying hadn 't stopped and he really didn 't like it . On Tuesday , one of the other carpool mothers needed to switch so I drove over to the school to pick up the kids . I got to the school several minutes early and decided to go in and talk with the principal . He was busy but I left a message for him to call me . I returned to the car to read my book while I waited for the kids . Once the kids got out of school , I noticed that the boys were playing on the grass in front of the school and since they didn 't know to look for my car , I decided to get out and walk over to them . As I approached the group of kids , I quickly spotted Neal . The bully had him in a headlock and was punching him . Neal was throwing elbows , trying to get away but it was the look on his face ( miserable , angry , trying desperately not to cry ) that broke my heart . I called his name and the bully quickly let him go . Neal walked toward me and I asked him if that kid was the same bully . He responded in the affirmative . The bully was now standing nonchalantly against the wall of the school . I sent Neal and the other boys from the carpool to the car and walked over to the bully . My blood was boiling but I was determined to keep my cool . I leaned over to look him right in his cocky little face and told him clearly , firmly and calmly that he was never to touch Neal ever again and that I would be talking with the principal about the problem . He nodded - - silent . That evening I sent another email to the teacher telling her that I had actually witnessed the abuse and that I had spoken to the offender . I left another message for the principal the next morning . The teacher had a conference with the bully and his mother and the principal called both the bully and Neal into his office . They discussed the problem and the bully apologized to Neal . Neal says that the bully hasn 't touched him since last Tuesday . There are only two weeks left of the school year . Neal will be attending a different school next year and the bully will remain at the old school . This particular problem appears to be solved . However , I 'm still angry at myself . I 'm upset that I didn 't ask more questions of Neal when he first started telling me stories about the bully . Shouldn 't I have connected that he was telling me these stories for a reason ? Why was I so slow to act before I actually saw the offense ? Why didn 't I alert the school that there was a problem months ago when Neal told me - - even though the bullying was supposedly happening to a different kid ? Just because it wasn 't my kid , why didn 't I respond ? And why didn 't Neal feel comfortable enough to tell me the truth months ago ? Anyway , I 'm determined to be more vigilant and to listen to my children more carefully . I need to learn to ask the right questions to get to the truth . I 'm also more determined to stand up for my children and hopefully myself . Did I happen to mention that I hate mean people . And don 't mess with my kids . I posted yesterday about Thomas whacking President Draper with an oar from Primary . My dad talked with Pres . D . and found out that it wasn 't actually him that got " whacked " . He wasn 't in our church building on Sunday . So , out there somewhere is an unknown victim who may or may not look a lot like President Draper and / or President Uchtdorf . I hope the real victim has as good a sense of humor as President Draper does . Oy ! First , Utah lost . We just lost out on representation by a truly great man . Senator Bob Bennett is a true conservative and he stands up for what he believes ( which is frankly , not very different from what I believe ) . He is not a selfish , power - hungry man . He seeks only to serve . If you 've ever met him , you would know this . Second , we all need to be involved politically . Most polls taken before the convention show that the majority of Utahns supported Bennett and yet the majority of delegates did not . The people and the delegates were also divided in their opinions about even what issues were most important . Clearly this is reflective of the " hijacking " of the Republican party by the far right reactionary extremists that took place at the caucus meetings this year . We cannot let the far right or the far left activists ( they 're called that because they 're actually active ) continue to decide the political atmosphere . One look at the Utah Republican and Democratic Conventions held last week and it would seem that we are a vastly polarized people . The Republicans ousted a very conservative incumbent because he wasn 't " right " enough and the Democrats came close to ousting their man ( Matheson will face a challenger in a primary ) because he wasn 't " left " enough . However , I don 't believe that the majority of Utahns or Americans are really that divided . I believe that most of us fall somewhere in the middle of the two wide extremes where " compromise " is not an evil idea ( by the way , I 'm not suggesting that we compromise on key moral values ) . We must all become active . I don 't mean " sign - waving , protesting , overdosing on talk - radio , obnoxious active " . I 'm talking about " paying attention to the issues , listening to the candidates , attending your caucus meetings , voting active " . The delegates we send to the conventions can 't and won 't represent your values , ideas and opinions unless you attend the caucus meetings and vote for them . Thomas has a great teacher in Primary . Brother S is an older man ( he 's really not that old but in our ward where the average age is 4 he is quite a bit older ) and he has worked wonders with our four year old . Whatever is happening in that Primary classroom has captured Thomas 's attention and has inspired better reverence at home . Our wiggly , noisy kid has become the new example for appropriate behavior during prayer time at home . However , he is definitely not reverent all the time . He 's still a crazy , goofy kid and we never really know what to expect . Yesterday during Primary , Brother S gave each of his young pupils a " paddle " . It was really a thin piece of wood about two inches wide and four feet long . On the end he taped a piece of oval shaped paper . This become the perfect and most fun toy a four year old boy could have . After Relief Society , ( the brethren in our ward took over the Primary and nursery yesterday so all the women could attend Relief Society . Thank you . ) I made my way through the crowded halls to find my boys . When I finally discovered Neal and Thomas brandishing his " paddle " , Neal related the following tale . Neal ( who ate all the Hershey Kisses he was supposed to give me for Mother 's Day ) found Thomas after Primary and they were waiting for me in the foyer . Thomas was waving his floppy paddle around and President Draper ( assuming that Neal recognizes him and it was really him and not someone else ) came out of a nearby room . He told Thomas to be careful not to whack anyone with the " paddle " . Thomas , brandishing his new weapon , proceeded to whack President Draper ( our stake president ) . Thomas giggled and added , " Ya , I whacked President Uchtdorf " . I saw Brother S in the parking lot . He waved and cheerfully called out , " have that young man tell you why he is carrying a paddle . " I responded , " next Sunday , have this young man tell you who he whacked with it . " My niece Anna is brilliant , compassionate and an amazing mother . After graduating with her masters degree from Harvard she promptly gave birth to three darling babies in three years . Her husband is finishing up his second year of medical school . Anna posted her evolving thoughts regarding motherhood this week on her private blog and I felt they were poignant and wanted to share it . She gave her permission to repost it here . I think you 'll enjoy it too . And if you want to read more thoughts on motherhood , check out my friend Rachel 's post * here * and then watch the newest Mormon Messages video " My New Life " featuring Stephanie Nielson ( of the NieNie Dialogues ) . Today , as I was talking to my psychiatrist ( yes , I see a psychiatrist and she 's the best ) , we talked about expectations . Apparently mine are a little too high . I told her the type of mother and homemaker and woman I want to be and she said : " you just described June Cleaver . That person doesn 't exist . " She put it another way : " the myth of this generation is that women can do and have it all . we can run marathons , have 12 hobbies , work , raise our kids , have " me " time , read , cook , etc . That just isn 't possible . We choose some of those things at the expense of other things , often our children . Is that the image of womanhood you want to depict for your daughters ? That you have to be perfect to be worth it ? " And then I thought about my conversations with Grant about faith . Or my hour spent reading to Audrey . Or singing Follow the Prophet 4000 times this week and talking about each one . Or just drinking smoothies with my kids and laughing at all our smoothie mustaches . Sister Beck said : " Mothers who know do less . They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally . They allow less media in their homes , less distraction , less activity that draws their children away from their home . Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world 's goods in order to spend more time with their children - more time eating together , more time working together , more time reading together , more time talking , laughing , singing , and exemplifying . These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all . Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world . Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord 's kingdom for the next 50 years . That is influence ; that is power . " I really wanted him to come with me but I didn 't want to take the kids . Utah Dad was uncomfortable leaving them ( with whom ? ) so I left them with him . I had complete confidence in his aptitude for managing chaotic situations . To make it easier , Utah Dad took Thursday and Friday off work and I arranged for other mothers to drive the carpool . He spent the days building houses of Legos and playing games with Thomas and Lilly . He didn 't fight at all with Neal over homework ( whether Neal actually did it is doubtful ) and Amberly got ready for school in the morning without complaining ( probably because he didn 't try to comb her hair or critique her clothing choices ) . On Saturday , they took a road trip to Manti to see the temple ( he 's been wanting to show the kids the temple where we were married for years ) and they stopped for burgers and milk shakes on the way home . He cared for one sick little boy who ate too many burgers , fries and milk shakes and cleaned up all the subsequent messes . Other than the burgers , he cooked dinner every night . They had his specialty , breakfast dinner , one night . He even cooked a tasty experimental dish loaded with vegetables , Thai Beef , that was a hit with the miniature critics . He enlisted the kids to help him clean the house . He did get conveniently sick with a nasty cold on Sunday so that he didn 't have to brave church with the kids by himself ( he really was sick , is still sick , but we apologize to those who had to cover for him in the nursery very last minute ) . So , they spent Sunday watching church videos . They also mourned the puppy and made plans for a new one . At the baby shower before Neal was born , my sister and sister - in - law gave me a diaper bag . It was black and maroon and decidedly masculine so that Utah Dad could carry it and change diapers without feeling like a sissy . The diaper bag was large and had multiple zippered compartments . I found a list from Martha Stewart of what was essential in the well - stocked diaper bag and I set about filling every little compartment . I had everything from extra receiving blankets to miniature bottles of Johnson and Johnson shampoo ( just in case I needed to bathe the baby in the sink at Wal - mart - - what the heck ? ) . The diaper bag was fully stocked and very heavy . Fortunately I could occasionally stow it under the huge , awkward stroller . I lugged that bag around for the first three kids and it was completely worn out . When I cleaned it out to throw it away , it still had the same little unopened bottle of shampoo in it . When I had Lilly , I decided to buy a pretty diaper bag . Because as it turns out , Utah Dad didn 't carry the diaper bag that often anyway . It was a smaller diaper bag and I filled it up with about half the things I thought I needed before . I don 't carry a diaper bag anymore . I stick a diaper and a travel pack of wipes in my purse ( which is old and ugly . It is really time for me to buy a new one - - I only have one ) . It 's all I need . There is an extra baby outfit in the car and if I need an extra outfit I probably want to head home anyway . Since I nurse , I don 't need to worry about bottles and formula ( one of the many benefits of nursing ) Last week when Molly and I traveled to California , I wanted to travel as lightly as possible especially now that airlines have all kinds of new regulations and restrictions on baggage . I packed one small suitcase with the clothes we would need for the four days in CA ( fortunately I could leave my winter coat in Utah ) . I checked this suitcase and Molly 's infant car seat on the airplane . I carried Molly in the Snugli and one small bag that fit securely under the seat in front of me . In this bag I packed : I spent the past four days in sunny , beautiful Southern California . Last Thursday morning as the plane was being deiced before take - off I was so grateful to be leaving the snow and cold for a few days of perfectly lovely weather . Molly and I enjoyed every minute of our visit with Utah Dad 's sisters , brother - in - law , parents , nieces and nephews . While Utah Dad is convinced that they like me better than they like him ( there might be some truth to this ) , I was really there to take pictures of my niece Lisa 's wedding . We did get pampered . My sister - in - law took us all to get manicures and pedicures . I actually bared my hideous feet . We also escaped to Laguna Beach one afternoon . Molly fell in love with the ocean . I am so thrilled for Lisa . She found an awesome man who is so deeply in love with her . At the receptions , Scott serenaded Lisa with a special song that he composed . She was a beautiful bride and was so easy and laid back . Not long after Utah Dad and I got married we traveled to California for Lisa 's baptism . She was such a spunky , cute girl and I fell in love . I can hardly believe that she is old enough to get married .
|
Amberly was so helpful all weekend . She straightened up the loft . She read books while Lilly sat on the potty . She helped plant the garden . She swept the floor after breakfast this morning and even though she accidentally knocked a picture off the wall with the broom handle and broke the frame the floor was nice and clean . After their showers , she helped Lilly get dressed for church . She had them wear their beautiful , ankle - length , matching dresses from Christmas and I styled their hair in matching pig tails . They both looked so darling . I should have taken a picture . During church , Lilly 's teacher in Nursery B stuck her head in Nursery C to tell me that Lilly had a problem . She 'd gone potty on the floor . Horrified and surprised , I quickly handed off the child on my lap to head to Nursery B to take care of the " problem " . Lilly has been making good progress at potty training this week but I didn 't want to risk it so I had planned for her to wear a diaper to church . Surely , she had a diaper on . She sometimes took off her own diaper to try to go to the potty by herself and I wondered if this is what had happened . But no . She hadn 't worn a diaper to church . She didn 't have on panties either . She hadn 't worn anything under her dress . Oh ! Seriously , a mother 's nightmare . While I frantically hurried to remove the mess from the floor , watched by a circle of disgusted and curious two - year - olds , I realized that Amberly had helped Lilly get dressed and that I hadn 't even thought to check what she had on under her dress . Lilly 's dress was also a mess , so Utah Dad took her home for a quick bath and a change before rushing back to help in nursery . Not long after we got married , Utah Dad 's parents bought a Nintendo 64 . Utah Dad 's five year old nephew begged for help playing Mario and before long we were wasting amazing amounts of time attempting to rescue Peach from the evil clutches of Bowser . The addiction was so bad , that we even had Mario dreams . Once Peach was safe , we discovered MarioKart . Utah Dad , his brother and I would too often stay up until two in the morning racing and talking . Oh , waking up in the morning was hard . Realizing that we had a problem , Utah Dad and I put the video games behind us and decided that especially when we had children we would not cave to the pressure to buy a gaming system for our home . Our resolve strengthened when we met our oldest son . Neal has an extremely obsessive nature . He only has to play a game for a little while before it becomes an addiction . Needless to say , he loves to visit his relatives that have gaming systems ( pretty much all of them ) . He has begged us for years for a Wii and we have resisted . Until now . This school year , we used a Wii as a ( very powerful ) reward / bribe to motivate Neal to do well and be good at school . He did and he did and the school year came to an end and we had to make good . We now own a Wii . Our Wii 's name is " Privilege " . She belongs to Utah Dad and I and time playing the Wii is moderated and can be earned or lost . We didn 't buy any additional games yet . Those will also be earned . Our bishop in our ward in New Hampshire , who I love like a father , requested that the bread used for the sacrament be freshly homemade bread . When we first moved there , I thought this requirement was completely ridiculous - - mostly , because I was a leader in the young women program and the young women had been asked to bake the bread and so occasionally it would also be my responsibility to bake the bread and I don 't bake bread . My New Hampshire friends would probably also say that part of my problem was that I was from Utah and you know . . . we just didn 't do it that way in Utah . They were probably at least partly right . However , it didn 't take very long before I not only appreciated freshly baked bread on Sunday but I loved it . No more squishy , soggy , recently thawed , spent a year in the freezer , grocery store bread . There were some weeks when the homemade bread was so delicious that one small bite wasn 't enough and I spent the rest of the meeting wondering if I could get the recipe ( or talk the baker into baking me another loaf since I don 't bake bread ) . Fast Sunday could be particularly dangerous . The young women in that ward knew how to bake bread and I learned too when I took my turn . I know that it doesn 't really matter what kind of bread we have during the sacrament . The purpose is to remember our Savior Jesus Christ and renew my covenants and I can and should do that even if the bread is crusty and dry and should probably be fed to the ducks . Even so , the best word to describe the sacrament bread in our former ward was heavenly and that is definitely not a bad thing . I read Herman Melville 's Moby Dick because I wanted to read Ahab 's Wife . Ahab 's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund can stand alone , but I 'm just like that . Because both books are fairly long and I 've been rather busy lately , I 've been reading about whaling ships , whales , the ocean , Nantucket , etc . for over a month now . Besides the reading , Thomas and I have looked up video clips online of sperm whales to fill in the visual gaps of Melville 's details . Utah Dad and I have been enjoying the Blue Planet videos from BBC in the evenings . We 've also watched the movie Moby Dick twice - - once by ourselves and again with the kids . ( By the way , Gregory Peck makes a great Captain Ahab . ) I 'm also very vocal about what I 'm reading , which means I 've shared all the details with Utah Dad and the kids . It was obvious that we 've become a little obsessed when one evening this week , the kids rearranged the lawn furniture into the " Pequod " and were making Thomas pretend to be Captain Ahab . They referred to Utah Dad as Moby Dick . I wish I were rich enough to fly the entire family to Nantucket for our own adventure . Honestly , my first impression after finishing Moby Dick was disappointment . Melville created eccentric , inimitable and yet completely believable characters and put them in an intriguing situation and then abandons them for hundreds of pages to include every single particular point about the variety of whales , the anatomy of whales , and the science of whaling . I actually enjoyed learning about it but I felt that the tale got lost amidst the minutiae of factual details . However , when Melville does get to the heart of the story it is fascinating , riveting , and emotionally moving and it is clear why Moby Dick is often considered the greatest American novel . The emotional conflicts between characters and themselves are Shakespearean in scope and ultimately Captain Ahab 's monomaniac desire for revenge against the beast results in tragedy ( I hope I didn 't ruin it for you ) . Captain Ahab is one of literature 's most enigmatic characters . I found him captivating and he is , shall we say , man enough to inspire another book . Naslund , the author of Ahab 's Wife read the few lines in Moby Dick that mention Ahab 's wife and son and imagined what kind of woman would marry and be loved by Captain Ahab ( his love for her exists even at the height of his insanity ) . The resulting novel is fabulous . I enjoyed it more than most books I 've read recently . The character of Una is strong , intelligent , and witty . She is unhampered by the time 's constraints of women and creates her own adventures . She survives life 's tragedies through her own mental strength and desire . She is a perfect match for Captain Ahab . The novel is well researched and peopled with interesting characters both fictional and real . Una befriends transcendentalist Margaret Fuller and astronomer Maria Mitchell , real Nantucket and Boston women of learning . She is also present when former slave and author Frederick Douglass speaks in Nantucket and excites the abolitionist movement . Naslund accurately and beautifully depicts the early nineteenth century whaling experience , the settings of Nantucket and Kentucky and even the political , religious , and philosophical atmosphere . Most impressively , Naslund seamlessly weaves the story of Moby Dick into her own much newer work . It fits so well , that one might actually be convinced that Naslund and Melville wrote their manuscripts side by side . Quite simply , I loved Ahab 's Wife . It is exactly what I expect from a novel . Don 't think my obsession with reading about whaling is over . Earlier this week I ordered In the Heart of the Sea : The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex by historian Nathaniel Philbrick . I 'm looking forward to reading about the real events that inspired Melville to write Moby Dick in the first place . Thomas ( coveting the truck in the lane next to us ) : We should sell this minivan and get a truck . Me : Our family won 't fit in a truck . That is why we drive the minivan . Thomas : Then we should get rid of some of the people in our family . Me : Oh really ? Who should we get rid of ? Thomas : Neal and Amberly . Me : Why should we get rid of them ? Thomas : Because I 'm pretty sure they want to get rid of me . Two weeks ago , Neal crawled in bed next to me to talk . " Do you remember that story I told you about the kid in my class who was trying to tackle and kick that other kid ? " He asked . I remembered the story . " Well , " he continued , " that other kid was really me . " My heart sank as he continued to tell me that for several months now , this kid in his class has pushed , tripped , tackled , kicked and hit him nearly every day after lunch and after school . For months , we 'd suspected that something unpleasant was happening at school . Neal frequently came home from school upset and he began to display some nervous habits again . His teacher was on maternity leave and there was a substitute ( a bit of a bully herself ) in the classroom for several weeks . We knew there were occasionally problems with the kids in the carpool but we had talked with the other parents and that situation seemed to be improving . When his teacher returned to school , Neal 's attitude about school also improved - - most of the time . Utah Dad and I also recognize that Neal 's situation is unique . He 's an eight - year - old in a fourth grade class where the majority of the students have already turned ten . Last year in third grade , the age difference didn 't seem so great . But this year , the other fourth graders are really growing up . They 're not little kids any more . Driving the carpool has definitely opened our eyes to this . The other kids are interested in music , pop - culture , gaming , and other preteen things . Neal is still a kid . He 's goofy . He doesn 't get their jokes . He bugs them . As parents , we 're frustrated and torn because we want him to get along with the other kids and act appropriately in an older class but we don 't want him to grow up too fast . My first reaction after hearing about the bully from Neal was my typical non - confrontational approach . Bullies come in many forms ( from the physically abusive to the " mean girl " ) and we 've all had to deal with them from time to time ( unfortunately sometimes as adults ) . My solution has always been to ignore the problem / person . So , Utah Dad , Neal and I discussed ways that Neal could avoid the bully . He could stay in the lunch room longer . He could stand with his friends . Be in a crowd . Neal agreed to try this . But he asked me to talk to the principal . That would involve an encounter and my whole body shuddered . I did send an email ( so easy and non - threatening ) to his teacher alerting her to the problem with the bully . The teacher talked to the bully but according to Neal the problems continued and he asked me again to talk to the principal . It was the weekend so I assured him that I would do it the next week . Monday came , I got busy and forgot . Neal came home from school and said that the bullying hadn 't stopped and he really didn 't like it . On Tuesday , one of the other carpool mothers needed to switch so I drove over to the school to pick up the kids . I got to the school several minutes early and decided to go in and talk with the principal . He was busy but I left a message for him to call me . I returned to the car to read my book while I waited for the kids . Once the kids got out of school , I noticed that the boys were playing on the grass in front of the school and since they didn 't know to look for my car , I decided to get out and walk over to them . As I approached the group of kids , I quickly spotted Neal . The bully had him in a headlock and was punching him . Neal was throwing elbows , trying to get away but it was the look on his face ( miserable , angry , trying desperately not to cry ) that broke my heart . I called his name and the bully quickly let him go . Neal walked toward me and I asked him if that kid was the same bully . He responded in the affirmative . The bully was now standing nonchalantly against the wall of the school . I sent Neal and the other boys from the carpool to the car and walked over to the bully . My blood was boiling but I was determined to keep my cool . I leaned over to look him right in his cocky little face and told him clearly , firmly and calmly that he was never to touch Neal ever again and that I would be talking with the principal about the problem . He nodded - - silent . That evening I sent another email to the teacher telling her that I had actually witnessed the abuse and that I had spoken to the offender . I left another message for the principal the next morning . The teacher had a conference with the bully and his mother and the principal called both the bully and Neal into his office . They discussed the problem and the bully apologized to Neal . Neal says that the bully hasn 't touched him since last Tuesday . There are only two weeks left of the school year . Neal will be attending a different school next year and the bully will remain at the old school . This particular problem appears to be solved . However , I 'm still angry at myself . I 'm upset that I didn 't ask more questions of Neal when he first started telling me stories about the bully . Shouldn 't I have connected that he was telling me these stories for a reason ? Why was I so slow to act before I actually saw the offense ? Why didn 't I alert the school that there was a problem months ago when Neal told me - - even though the bullying was supposedly happening to a different kid ? Just because it wasn 't my kid , why didn 't I respond ? And why didn 't Neal feel comfortable enough to tell me the truth months ago ? Anyway , I 'm determined to be more vigilant and to listen to my children more carefully . I need to learn to ask the right questions to get to the truth . I 'm also more determined to stand up for my children and hopefully myself . Did I happen to mention that I hate mean people . And don 't mess with my kids . I posted yesterday about Thomas whacking President Draper with an oar from Primary . My dad talked with Pres . D . and found out that it wasn 't actually him that got " whacked " . He wasn 't in our church building on Sunday . So , out there somewhere is an unknown victim who may or may not look a lot like President Draper and / or President Uchtdorf . I hope the real victim has as good a sense of humor as President Draper does . Oy ! First , Utah lost . We just lost out on representation by a truly great man . Senator Bob Bennett is a true conservative and he stands up for what he believes ( which is frankly , not very different from what I believe ) . He is not a selfish , power - hungry man . He seeks only to serve . If you 've ever met him , you would know this . Second , we all need to be involved politically . Most polls taken before the convention show that the majority of Utahns supported Bennett and yet the majority of delegates did not . The people and the delegates were also divided in their opinions about even what issues were most important . Clearly this is reflective of the " hijacking " of the Republican party by the far right reactionary extremists that took place at the caucus meetings this year . We cannot let the far right or the far left activists ( they 're called that because they 're actually active ) continue to decide the political atmosphere . One look at the Utah Republican and Democratic Conventions held last week and it would seem that we are a vastly polarized people . The Republicans ousted a very conservative incumbent because he wasn 't " right " enough and the Democrats came close to ousting their man ( Matheson will face a challenger in a primary ) because he wasn 't " left " enough . However , I don 't believe that the majority of Utahns or Americans are really that divided . I believe that most of us fall somewhere in the middle of the two wide extremes where " compromise " is not an evil idea ( by the way , I 'm not suggesting that we compromise on key moral values ) . We must all become active . I don 't mean " sign - waving , protesting , overdosing on talk - radio , obnoxious active " . I 'm talking about " paying attention to the issues , listening to the candidates , attending your caucus meetings , voting active " . The delegates we send to the conventions can 't and won 't represent your values , ideas and opinions unless you attend the caucus meetings and vote for them . Thomas has a great teacher in Primary . Brother S is an older man ( he 's really not that old but in our ward where the average age is 4 he is quite a bit older ) and he has worked wonders with our four year old . Whatever is happening in that Primary classroom has captured Thomas 's attention and has inspired better reverence at home . Our wiggly , noisy kid has become the new example for appropriate behavior during prayer time at home . However , he is definitely not reverent all the time . He 's still a crazy , goofy kid and we never really know what to expect . Yesterday during Primary , Brother S gave each of his young pupils a " paddle " . It was really a thin piece of wood about two inches wide and four feet long . On the end he taped a piece of oval shaped paper . This become the perfect and most fun toy a four year old boy could have . After Relief Society , ( the brethren in our ward took over the Primary and nursery yesterday so all the women could attend Relief Society . Thank you . ) I made my way through the crowded halls to find my boys . When I finally discovered Neal and Thomas brandishing his " paddle " , Neal related the following tale . Neal ( who ate all the Hershey Kisses he was supposed to give me for Mother 's Day ) found Thomas after Primary and they were waiting for me in the foyer . Thomas was waving his floppy paddle around and President Draper ( assuming that Neal recognizes him and it was really him and not someone else ) came out of a nearby room . He told Thomas to be careful not to whack anyone with the " paddle " . Thomas , brandishing his new weapon , proceeded to whack President Draper ( our stake president ) . Thomas giggled and added , " Ya , I whacked President Uchtdorf " . I saw Brother S in the parking lot . He waved and cheerfully called out , " have that young man tell you why he is carrying a paddle . " I responded , " next Sunday , have this young man tell you who he whacked with it . " My niece Anna is brilliant , compassionate and an amazing mother . After graduating with her masters degree from Harvard she promptly gave birth to three darling babies in three years . Her husband is finishing up his second year of medical school . Anna posted her evolving thoughts regarding motherhood this week on her private blog and I felt they were poignant and wanted to share it . She gave her permission to repost it here . I think you 'll enjoy it too . And if you want to read more thoughts on motherhood , check out my friend Rachel 's post * here * and then watch the newest Mormon Messages video " My New Life " featuring Stephanie Nielson ( of the NieNie Dialogues ) . Today , as I was talking to my psychiatrist ( yes , I see a psychiatrist and she 's the best ) , we talked about expectations . Apparently mine are a little too high . I told her the type of mother and homemaker and woman I want to be and she said : " you just described June Cleaver . That person doesn 't exist . " She put it another way : " the myth of this generation is that women can do and have it all . we can run marathons , have 12 hobbies , work , raise our kids , have " me " time , read , cook , etc . That just isn 't possible . We choose some of those things at the expense of other things , often our children . Is that the image of womanhood you want to depict for your daughters ? That you have to be perfect to be worth it ? " And then I thought about my conversations with Grant about faith . Or my hour spent reading to Audrey . Or singing Follow the Prophet 4000 times this week and talking about each one . Or just drinking smoothies with my kids and laughing at all our smoothie mustaches . Sister Beck said : " Mothers who know do less . They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally . They allow less media in their homes , less distraction , less activity that draws their children away from their home . Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world 's goods in order to spend more time with their children - more time eating together , more time working together , more time reading together , more time talking , laughing , singing , and exemplifying . These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all . Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world . Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord 's kingdom for the next 50 years . That is influence ; that is power . " I really wanted him to come with me but I didn 't want to take the kids . Utah Dad was uncomfortable leaving them ( with whom ? ) so I left them with him . I had complete confidence in his aptitude for managing chaotic situations . To make it easier , Utah Dad took Thursday and Friday off work and I arranged for other mothers to drive the carpool . He spent the days building houses of Legos and playing games with Thomas and Lilly . He didn 't fight at all with Neal over homework ( whether Neal actually did it is doubtful ) and Amberly got ready for school in the morning without complaining ( probably because he didn 't try to comb her hair or critique her clothing choices ) . On Saturday , they took a road trip to Manti to see the temple ( he 's been wanting to show the kids the temple where we were married for years ) and they stopped for burgers and milk shakes on the way home . He cared for one sick little boy who ate too many burgers , fries and milk shakes and cleaned up all the subsequent messes . Other than the burgers , he cooked dinner every night . They had his specialty , breakfast dinner , one night . He even cooked a tasty experimental dish loaded with vegetables , Thai Beef , that was a hit with the miniature critics . He enlisted the kids to help him clean the house . He did get conveniently sick with a nasty cold on Sunday so that he didn 't have to brave church with the kids by himself ( he really was sick , is still sick , but we apologize to those who had to cover for him in the nursery very last minute ) . So , they spent Sunday watching church videos . They also mourned the puppy and made plans for a new one . At the baby shower before Neal was born , my sister and sister - in - law gave me a diaper bag . It was black and maroon and decidedly masculine so that Utah Dad could carry it and change diapers without feeling like a sissy . The diaper bag was large and had multiple zippered compartments . I found a list from Martha Stewart of what was essential in the well - stocked diaper bag and I set about filling every little compartment . I had everything from extra receiving blankets to miniature bottles of Johnson and Johnson shampoo ( just in case I needed to bathe the baby in the sink at Wal - mart - - what the heck ? ) . The diaper bag was fully stocked and very heavy . Fortunately I could occasionally stow it under the huge , awkward stroller . I lugged that bag around for the first three kids and it was completely worn out . When I cleaned it out to throw it away , it still had the same little unopened bottle of shampoo in it . When I had Lilly , I decided to buy a pretty diaper bag . Because as it turns out , Utah Dad didn 't carry the diaper bag that often anyway . It was a smaller diaper bag and I filled it up with about half the things I thought I needed before . I don 't carry a diaper bag anymore . I stick a diaper and a travel pack of wipes in my purse ( which is old and ugly . It is really time for me to buy a new one - - I only have one ) . It 's all I need . There is an extra baby outfit in the car and if I need an extra outfit I probably want to head home anyway . Since I nurse , I don 't need to worry about bottles and formula ( one of the many benefits of nursing ) Last week when Molly and I traveled to California , I wanted to travel as lightly as possible especially now that airlines have all kinds of new regulations and restrictions on baggage . I packed one small suitcase with the clothes we would need for the four days in CA ( fortunately I could leave my winter coat in Utah ) . I checked this suitcase and Molly 's infant car seat on the airplane . I carried Molly in the Snugli and one small bag that fit securely under the seat in front of me . In this bag I packed : I spent the past four days in sunny , beautiful Southern California . Last Thursday morning as the plane was being deiced before take - off I was so grateful to be leaving the snow and cold for a few days of perfectly lovely weather . Molly and I enjoyed every minute of our visit with Utah Dad 's sisters , brother - in - law , parents , nieces and nephews . While Utah Dad is convinced that they like me better than they like him ( there might be some truth to this ) , I was really there to take pictures of my niece Lisa 's wedding . We did get pampered . My sister - in - law took us all to get manicures and pedicures . I actually bared my hideous feet . We also escaped to Laguna Beach one afternoon . Molly fell in love with the ocean . I am so thrilled for Lisa . She found an awesome man who is so deeply in love with her . At the receptions , Scott serenaded Lisa with a special song that he composed . She was a beautiful bride and was so easy and laid back . Not long after Utah Dad and I got married we traveled to California for Lisa 's baptism . She was such a spunky , cute girl and I fell in love . I can hardly believe that she is old enough to get married .
|
As if I needed something else to add to my general chaos of mental distraction , I 've started another blog . A story blog , really . Zombie related , naturally . If you have a few minutes it would be great if you would head over there , give it a read and tell me what you think either here or there . Or both . Zombie BloggerSince it 's a secondary site it won 't be updated nearly as often as this one . For example , the first draft of the post was written back on the 12th . I just got around to finalizing it today . Go me . I 've also decided to set up a site for The Jolly Reaper Interview : The Jolly ReaperThe remainder of the interview will be posted both here and there at the same time . Any new stories that take place in TJR 's " universe " will only be posted there . With all of this planned writing , I think that at some point it might not be a bad idea for me to learn how to write . Feeling blah and unfunny . It happens . When it happens these days I find that I turn to " POINTLESS PRODUCT CREATION ! " Today 's pointless product is a new bumper sticker that I put together for the original " Support Evolution " illustration . Why did I do that you ask ? No real reason , hence the pointlessness of it . Anyhow , here it is : If you really like it , I mean you like it so much that just glimpsing it out of the corner of your eye makes you shiver all over and craaaave one of your very own so that you can blah blah blah * , you are welcome to buy one here for $ 3 . 49 . That 's it for this Tuesday . Have a great evening everyone ! - - - * A list of suggestions of what to do with it : Stick it to your car to show your fondness for logical thinking and poetry . Stick it to a car belonging to a militant creationist with no sense of humor and film him freaking out for America 's Funniest Home Videos . Stick it on your school locker to let THE MAN know just how you feel about , you know , stuff . Use it as a book mark for your Bible . A really thick book mark . Keep it as a friend and talk to it when you think nobody 's looking . See ? It smiles at you . Give it to someone you love , because surely your loved one would enjoy a fish poem with a side of controversy . Roll it up really tight and snort coke through it . Buy a few to burn at a creationist bonfire rally of fun and free thought suppression . Slap it across the visor of the motorcycle cop that pulled you over for speeding and then skedaddle whilst he fumbles and shouts . Examine it real close to find the secret hidden message . * * Or , whatever other possible reason you might have for wanting one . - - - * * I 'm kidding . There 's no secret hidden message . * * * - - - * * * Or is there ? ( do - dee - do - doo . . . ) This was a movie watching weekend . Lots of movies watched . So many . . . Here 's the list and a brief review of each : Overnight - This is a behind the scenes documentary of the destruction of an ego . Specifically , the ego of the writer / director / musician of the movie " The Boondock Saints " . Overall I found it interesting , in a train wreck sort of way . Somehow he managed to spring back from defeat because he 's working on " the Boondock Saints 2 " , which after watching this documentary I 'm really curious as to how he got another chance . In Good Company - This movie stars Eric from " That 70s Show " ; Topher Grace . According to IMDB his real first name is Christopher , but he hated being called " Chris " so he changed it to " Topher " . Makes sense to me . Overall the movie was non - offensive , but it could have been told in 1 / 3 the time . It was slooooow . I also had a very hard time accepting the " romance " between Topher and Scarlett Johansson . I really didn 't feel it . It seemed like it existed solely because of the script , in spite of how much she looks like Donna with a smaller nose . So it was a " watch once " film for me . The Jacket - Starring Adrien Brody . I enjoyed this one quite a bit . It had a " 12 Monkeys " feel , except instead of going back , he was going forward . I won 't give away any of the plot . Just suffice it to say that it involves brain damage and death , and when is THAT not fun ? I also must say that apart from Calista Flockhart , nobody can pull off emaciated like Adrien . Donnie Darko ( Director 's Cut ) - I liked it but after one viewing I have NO idea what happened . I thought I did but it still doesn 't make sense if I examine it too closely . Yet I can 't muster up the enthusiasm to watch it again . Taking Lives - This was a decent thriller even though I figured out who the serial killer was moments after seeing him . Then it was just a matter of figuring out his game . There was a nice twist at the very end though . Memento - I 'd seen it before , but Heather hadn 't and I really wanted her to . She enjoyed it and I enjoyed watching it agaiPosted by A while back when I was talking about making tattoos I had requests from Kif and Justin for custom tattoo design . Kif 's wings were finished and blogged about awhile ago . Justin wanted a skull with film coming out of its mouth on crossed gobo arms with the heads at the top over a slate . I asked him to send me photos of the gobo arms since I 'd never heard of them before . He also sent me a photo of a slate which was very helpful . A couple months ago I sent him an early sketch to see if I had the general idea right . I 'd left out the slate since it was basically background . This was the sketch : It was close , but not quite right . He 'd wanted it to be a full skull and rather than have the film like a snake 's body he wanted it to be more like a tongue . He did think that having a camera lens for the eye was a good idea though . After the clarification and direction , I drifted off to other projects for awhile . A couple days ago I resumed work on it and this is where it stands : Now I 'm just waiting to hear what he thinks of it . There 's a game that you really need to try out . Seriously . It 's available for both Windows and Macintosh . It 's not a twitch game . As a matter of fact , the calmer you are when you play it , the better you will do . It 's been around for years and I remember trying it out back on OS9 . Then it didn 't work so good . Now it 's excellent . Best of all , a good chunk of it is free . Click the pic to check the game out . For free you can run through the tutorial , which I highly recommend . You can also , without paying a single cent , play the " Daily Demo " . This is a set of seven levels that is changed every day of the year at midnight , Central . Free to play as often as you like . All you need is a computer that runs Windows 98 and up , or Mac OS 9 . 1 and up , and an internet connection , which if you are reading this , you have . Static screenshots do not do this game justice . They have movies that show the game in motion at the website , but if you are going to download a movie you may as well download the game . Give it a shot and then tell me what you think . Be sure to go through the tutorials however , or it might be confusing as to what you are supposed to do . - - - From their page " the game " : Embrace your ADHD ! There 's lots of talk about Attention - Deficit Hyperactivity in the media these days . It 's said that ADD and ADHD manifests itself as " . . . a persistent pattern of inattention and hyperactivity - impulsivity that occurs more frequently and more severely than is typically observed in people at comparable levels of development . Sometimes people with ADHD hyperfocus . They focus on one thing and ignore all else around them . " Is that necessarily a bad thing ? tranquility was envisioned and designed by a video game programmer with a textbook case of Attention Deficit Disorder . It took a year of struggling to maintain enough focus to get the game completed , but well worth because it ended up being a refuge from what he , and other ADHD people deal with every day . We 've had a hard time describing exactly what the game is really about , which shows thePosted by 1 . On the way home after the last poker tournament at Derek 's house , Heather and I passed an SUV with a bumper sticker that read : Not so leanNot so meanBut still a Marine ! . . . I laughed and then proceeded to have quite a bit of fun with it . A fair amount of it was " you had to be there " stuff having to do with me saying witty things in strange voices ; most of which won 't carry over well in print . I wondered what type of person such a sticker was designed for . A retired Marine ? An office Marine ? A Marine that has grown a tinch chunky and friendlier over time ? " I may be assigned desk duty , my ass has grown larger than my chair and I 'm kind to children and kittens , but I 'm still a Marine dammit ! Ooowah ! Donuts ! Hey sarge ! I can TAKE that hill ! * munch * munch * munch * " Or is it possibly for the more effeminate Marine ? I 'm not speaking of women . I 'm talking about the ones you don 't ask , don 't tell about . At least , that was the policy back when I was enlisted . Perhaps it 's different now , and they give them bumper stickers ? " I 'm a MARINE ! Semper Fi Guys ! " or " I 'm a closet Marine . Shhhhhh ! " I just don 't know . I tried to get a look at the driver as we passed but he / she had tinted windows and it was at night so no luck . 2 . On the way in to work there was an old , old , old , old , olllllldddddd , woman behind me in a new Chrysler . She had an angel hanging on her rear view mirror . Every time I came to a stop I would look in my mirror to see if she was going to hit me . She never did , but EVERY time she came to a stop , up until I was able to ditch her , she would turn her head and talk to that angel . Freaky . I knew she was talking to the angel because she would look right at it and her lips would move . Then she would look ahead at me and her lips would stop . Then she looked back and the moving lips started up again . I 'm a little concerned that she was talking about me . And even more concerned about what the angel was saying . The comic that the earlier panel was from was Moon Knight . Moon Knight . No points awarded , but thanks to the four of you who played . As a bonus here 's another wonderful panel from the same issue : If I were the guy in purple I would be so grateful that I was face down at that moment . In spite of the apparent evidence to the contrary , Moon Knight was a fantastic series . I 'm surprised they haven 't made a movie of it yet , to be honest . Next , Kathleen was kind enough to link to an article about the killing by police of the girl whose father was using her as a human shield . The way it is written , it strikes me as an opinion piece . If that is the case it 's possible that the writer is not presenting all of the facts of the situation accurately . I will say this , it made me angry . Mostly at the writer . Here 's what I 've gathered from her article : 1 - Peña was armed with a stolen semiautomatic handgun . 2 - Peña and the police had been in a stand off for 2 . 5 hours . 3 - ' " The guy was shooting at ( police ) all the time . Bullets were pinging off cars . . . . This guy was no innocent bystander . " ' 4 - Peña fired his gun " toward " people . 5 - " Police say they can 't determine which officer fired the shot that killed the toddler " 6 - " Still , Police Chief William J . Bratton has been clear that all fault lies with the father - - " a cold - blooded killer , ' who doomed his baby girl when he used her as a human shield while continuing to fire at the authorities . " 7 - She blames the mother for the daughter 's death due to her poor choice in men . 8 - Then she goes on to say " I don 't mean to suggest in any way that Suzie Marie 's life was open to forfeit because of her mother 's bad decisions - - an innocent child died an early death when that never should have happened . But I will argue that Lopez should consider how her own bad judgment in partners brought violence and mayhem into her children 's lives . " 9 - Apparently it is an impossible standard to expect the police to not shoot children . Here 's what I find wrong with the points she made : 1 - I 'm not the expert Posted by I 'm having trouble getting into this week . I feel displaced . It happens . I really , really wanted to have the next part of the interview up for your enjoyment , but since I haven 't written it yet that 's kinda hard . Alternatively I would like to have some drawings for you , but every time I try to draw something for the last several days I can 't . Then I was racking my brain for an interesting story to relate but came up empty . Yes . My brain is empty . Well , almost empty . One thing did come to mind . It 's another story about our former co - worker " Sunny " . The one who is married to the mighty sodomite . It 's a short one . Here it goes . " Sunny " once bought meat from a guy who was going door to door selling . . . meat . Not for a local meat packing company or anything . As far as I know we don 't have a meat packing company around here . He was just this guy - I 'm reasonably sure she described him as " a bit scruffy looking " - with a cooler full of meat that he wanted to sell , and apparently the best way to do that in his mind was to go around to strangers homes at night , knock on the doors and when someone answered say something like , " Gotsum meat wantsum ? " while grinning in a friendly way . Perhaps with banjo music playing softly in the background . There must have been something to it because " Sunny " boughtsum . I guess she didn 't want to tell the nice scruffy man , " No . I 'm not really keen on your meat . " or something . Derek probably remembers how much she paid . I 'm thinking around $ 30 or so . The next day while telling us about it she asked , " Do you think I should eat it ? I probably shouldn 't . Should I ? " . . . That 's the best time for second thoughts . A day later . I have no idea if she ever ate it or not . You 've been wonderful . See you tomorrow . I never planned on wanting to have kids when I was a teenager . I mean I didn 't expect to EVER want kids . Even when my son was on the way I still wasn 't sure how I felt about it . As it turns out I love kids . Specifically , I love MY kids . Other people 's kids . . . This past weekend Heather and I went by Game Crazy to try out the one - race demo of the upcoming game " Burnout Revenge " . It 's the sequel to a racing game that surprisingly captured Heather 's interest : Burnout 3 . As fun and addictive as Burnout 3 was , Revenge is set to blow it away . My lord was that fun ! Barring delays it 's only a month away . I also decided to try out a bargain title called Phantom Dust that they had used and were selling cheap . They had two copies and it is a system linkable game so if I liked it I was going to buy both so my son and I could spend a night or two beating up on each other before school starts and I get to laugh at him . The clerk set the game up and I skipped through the opening movies and cut scenes in an attempt to get to the action to see how it played . I made it past the opening stuff but still wasn 't in the action because it 's one of those games where you have to explore a bit to find where you can fight . So I 'm wandering around in the game and I feel a tugging on the controller cord . I look down and there 's this little boy no older than five or six pulling on my cord . He was a child that is probably referred to as " precious * " by his mother . I could tell he was a child that was going to have a tough time growing up . I mean actually getting bigger . He had stubby arms , stubby legs and a big head with big eyes that were staring up at me . " Can I play ? " he said when he saw that he had my attention . " No , sorry , " I answered and then returned to figuring out where I needed to go . * tug * tug * " Why ? " I look back down and say , " Because I 'm trying it out to see if I want to buy it . " He gets this screwed up little look on his big melon , stares me in the eye and says , " Liar . " My eyes must have widened and I got out , " Wha . . . ? " before his wee legs carPosted by Here 's a panel from a comic book series that I loved as a child . It 's from the first issue which really overreached itself in terms of plot and art direction . It got better . A few observations about this panel : - I never realized that The Village Inn was such a rockin ' place . - Look at the size of Bushman 's pointing arm ! You can tell he 's right handed . And lonely . - I never knew that dancing was worse than death . I know it often feels that way when you suddenly realize just how stupid you look , but given the choice between wiggling around a bit and cooling to room temperature in a pool of my own blood in the street , I 'll wiggle . Thanks . - I really think that the humiliation comes in how they are dancing . They just aren 't really trying . No wonder Bushman looks miffed . - - - If I get enough people to play along I might turn this into another temporary " regular " feature . Okay , first let me tell you the reason I 'm going with this instead of the other suggestions . It isn 't because Heather asked for it . I know , that might be hard to believe , but it 's true . I 'm going with " Unanswerables " because I 'm a bit busier than I expected to be today and most of the things I suggested take a bit of time to assemble . I can do this about as easily as replying to one of Pat Angelo 's posts . I might have a bit of time to make a new CliparToon as well before the day is out . You never know until it 's too late . For those of you who were hoping for the other stuff , rest assured that it will be coming in time . I 'm not sure the interview will be done after the next part or not , so those of you looking for an end to that , it may still be awhile . So here they are : fake answers to real questions that were asked of the fine people at Snopes - Your One Stop Shopping Spot for Urban Legend Debunking . Same disclaimers apply . Q : Can cocoa butter get rid of stretch marks ? A : Yes , but only stomach stretch marks and you have to eat an awful lot of it . Constantly . I recommend spreading it on cocoa toast . - Q : is it true that if you take already been chewed gum and put it in an orange peel and put it in the refigrator for 4 - 6 weeks and then eat it will it be acid ? A : Yes , but not the " happy " acid that makes you see strange and new things . It makes " alien blood " acid that will melt through your jaw and leave you looking like that poor kid who listened to too much ' Stryper ' , took too much " happy " acid then ate a shotgun . Or was it ' Phil Collins ' ? Either way , as long as you keep it in that orange peel you should be safe . - Q : can you tell me how i would analyze the effect each statistic has on the world . A : Statistics actually have no effect whatsoever on the world . Meteors have quite an impact however . - Q : I have heard beggars can make a nice $ 100 , 000 salary , I was wondering if this is true . A : Absolutely ! That 's why after the " dot . com " bust nobody really suffered . They just started begging and were able to continue living like kinPosted by This is an illusion . Your eyes are playing tricks on you . Instead of creating something with which to ( hopefully ) entertain you today , I was over at Mark 's site commenting on a couple of his recent posts . And now my creative reservoir is drained . Sorry . In the meantime let me pose a question to you . What would you , my beloved readers , like me to do next out of these choices : - Write part 5 of the Interview with the Jolly Reaper . - Answer the remaining Snopes " Unanswerables " - Make fun of some ridiculous children products that I 've had sitting on my desktop for awhile now . - Make a new CliparToon as the one that 's up there now has started to gather dust . - Draw something . Anything . Maybe a zombie . Or not . - This is an oldie : Make a new " Portal of Evil cartoon " . I 'm not saying that any of that is what I will do , depending on what happens over the next 18 hours or so . But I would like to hear what you have to say . Bits from the Harper 's Weekly and my take on the same . " A Florida man pleaded guilty to beating his wife to death because she wanted to cuddle after sex . " Explain that one to your cell mate . " I was done with ' us ' time and I just wanted some ' me ' time . " I hope he gets many years of fuzzy cuddling . Teach him a little tenderness . " A Cambodian man found his mother after being separated from her for thirty years , then learned that she was also the mother of his wife . " Oops . " Um . Kids . Remember how we couldn 't figure out why you all have flippers ? We might have an answer . " " In Los Angeles , cocaine was found in the bloodstream of a toddler who died when her father used her as a shield in a shootout with police . " WTF ? Okay , if someone holds up a kid , the cops should stop shooting . In no way am I saying this guy was right to hide behind his child or give her cocaine , but damn . LA . " A man in Yorkshire , England , filmed his own suicide on his mobile phone and beamed it to his girlfriend . " Apart from how wrong that is , I can 't help but wonder if he was driving at the time . And yeah , that 's wrong too . But it gives me a little hope if I can look around while driving , see all the people on their phones surrounding me and think that some of them won 't voluntarily be there tomorrow . " An Australian woman sued the Sydney Aquarium for allowing a shark tank to shatter and shower her in sharks . " I just really like the alliteration of ' . . . shatter and shower her in sharks . ' Poetic . Imagine withstanding a shark shower . " We 're gonna need a bigger umbrella . " " A man fell off the same building twice in Darwin , Australia . " When I get the Harper 's mail I 'm not given details . I have to let my fevered brain come to its own conclusions . Here , I figure he hit the ground , got up , dusted himself off , said " Survival of the fittest my ASS ! " then hopped back in the elevator for another go . I might be wrong . " A British man was ordered to stop committing anti - social acts after he was witnessed throwing furniture through his windows , setting bonfires in the morning , aPosted by I was silly when I said I would have something more for you today . I 'm dragging so much ass today I need another pair of pants and a few more hands . The concert ran long . We got out at 12 : 35 am . Home from picking up my daughter by 1 : 30 . Might have fallen asleep by 2 . Was supposed to be up at 7 . Overslept a tinch and was six minutes late for work . The traffic lights were kind to me this morning . The good : It was the Aquabats . Trevor got four of the five band members to sign his shoes . I have a sticker . . . I didn 't get beat up by a gang of young freaks , which were there in abundance . Um . . . The bad : I will never , NEVER go to that venue again . Good GOD ! It was easily 40 degrees hotter in that place than it was outside . And it was a damp , sweat infused , people stink heat . Standing room only . I hate crowds as it is , and there they kept touching me . Ugh . UGGGHHH ! And yes , my ears are still ringing . If I ever find myself deaf when I 'm older and start to wonder how it could have happened , it would be grand if someone would refer me back to this post so I can read it and go , " Oh . Right . " My eyes hurt too , probably from smoke or missing sleep . Or some eye disease that was born through the air on the freak funk . I don 't know . About halfway though The Aquabats ' song " Red Sweater " I realized I was about to pass out from heat exhaustion . Someday I imagine I 'll look back on this and say , " Gosh , that was hot . " Tomorrow I might be back to normal . Whatever that is . - * I know , it 's " play " but I wasn 't there for a play dammit ! And I do feel like I was shot in the head . Hi kids ! Today there are three of us here in our wonderful art department , where there would normally be six . That means I 'll only have time for a single quick post today . And this is it . Tonight I 'm going to be taking my son to see The Aquabats in concert . It 's in a small venue so I expect that I shall be deaf by the end of the night . I must say , hearing was awfully fun while it lasted ! Trevor will also be going . Even though he forgot to tell me about the concert , he did manage to paint up a new pair of converse high tops with the Aquabats logo . They turned out real nice . He 's going to try to get them signed after the concert . Regardless of whether he succeeds I 'll post some photos of them at some point this year . Tomorrow I might have something wondrous for all you out there . I have a couple new drawing programs that I 'm trying out . " Real media " programs . If I come up with anything decent I 'll put it up . If I don 't , that 's right , I won 't . Oh yeah , school starts for my chill ' ens a week from Thursday . One is excited and one is depressed . You can probably guess which is which . I should have added this to my first set of Answers to " Unanswerables " . This is Snopes explanation for the questions : Every day our inbox fills with hundreds of questions that range from the routine to the extraordinary , the mundane to the fantastic . While we 're honored that our readers think to turn to us with these head - scratchers , many of their queries are too obscure or complicated for us to answer . Among the more unusual questions that are sent our way , we sometimes find a few seemingly posed with such a sense of urgency that we can 't help but wonder about the circumstances that prompted them - and the results . Unfortunately the results may never be known , but at least I can help the world at large by providing answers that can be relied on to be totally wrong if not outright lies . Just doin ' what I can . A reminder : my answers aren 't meant to be taken seriously . So , don 't . If you do , not my fault . Snopes ' " Unanswerables " as answered by CollinRound 2Q : Is Ciara a MAN ? ? ? ? ? PLEASE ANSWER ME BACK ! ! ! ! ! A : Who ? Your turn . - Q : Is some one can tell me how to read expire date on corona beer box / bottle . code I have on box is DC08C088 . What this mean . reply me ASAP . A : If you went ahead and drank the coronas without waiting for an answer it means that you can soon expect to go blind and lose the feeling in half your body . Glad to help , although my name is not ASAP . - Q : People who get bite by a spider then get large bump on their body . The bump then erupps into hundereds of baby spiders . Can that realy happen ? A : Of course . It happens all the time . Don 't you watch the news ? But don 't worry . They won 't erupt until they 've had their fill of you so they aren 't likely to bite again for at least an hour . - Q : Can people see into your house if it 's darker in your house than it is outside ? When I look around at other houses that don 't have lights on , I see darkness , a reflection or only what is immediately in front of the window ( curtains , plants , etc . ) . As a result , I tend to act as though no one can see what I 'm doing inside as long as the lights are off and there is no other source of light illuminating me . My wife , however , is often appalled by this behavior . Should she be appalled , or am I correct ? A : Not my house . I keep the blinds closed when I 'm in the buff . And stop looking in your neighbors ' windows . Pervert . - Q : I 've been told that if you snort powdered glass as you would cocaine , you will die . Is this just a rumor , or would it actually happen ? A : Yes , you will die . The glass interacts with the ink of the new $ 20 bill you are using which causes a chemical reaction that rockets the itty - bitty shards of glass up your nose where , due to the sudden burst of speed , they shred through your brain and shoot out of the back of your head . You should be okay if you use a plastic straw or stick to licking it off your ho 's breasts . As long as tPosted by Part 1Part 2Part 3M : So let me see if I have this right . In order to get your own " Reaping Franchise " all you have to do is go to the IRS , fill out a form , take some tests to show you have the stomach for it and that 's it ? You don 't need to pay anything ? No start up fees ? TJR : Well for the most part that 's correct . But believe me , you do pay . M : How so ? TJR : You pay on your first client call . . . M : Are you okay ? TJR : What ? Oh . Yes . I 'm sorry . I was just remembering . You see , after you 've turned in your forms and taken the initial tests then it 's like any other government activity . They give you what you need to do the job and then you wait for the time to come to do it . When I applied eight years ago we didn 't have these nifty GPS locators . I was given a pager and I was told to always be near a phone . Generally I would have an hour from when the pager went off to give them a call back if I accepted the job , so it didn 't really limit my movements much . No long trips through the desert , but otherwise life as normal . I was also given a kit containing pamphlets that talked about presenting the proper image , putting together a good business identity , why I no longer needed health and dental benefits , how to cope with stress , the credit value of a soul and others . It was quite a package . They gave me a franchise number and a mail order catalog for an unlisted company that specialized in hard to find reaper gear . It was explained that I would be receiving my Visa Black Card in the mail within the next few weeks and that , based on the size of my franchise I would have a quarterly budget that I needed to remain within . If I had trouble staying within the budget or seemed to be spending money at an excessive rate I could expect to be audited . I was told as I finished up that I wouldn 't be an actual reaper until the pager went off ; if I turned down my first client my franchise would be forfeit and I would have to repay the balance on my Black Card ; and that it could take anywhere from three months to a year before I was paged . I thankPosted by And I 've got nothing . Again , I wanted to add to the Interview with TJR , but I 'm just too busy to get it written today . I don 't even have time to answer a few more " unanswerables " . For what it 's worth , barring any cataclysmic event , the very next post will be the long and patiently awaited 4th part of the interview . It just won 't be today . Sorry . continue The Interview With The Jolly Reaper today , but then something else came up that might be more effective at getting my brain to work better on this Monday afternoon . Here 's the gist of it . BoingBoing linked to a page on Snopes where they 've posted " Unanswerables " . And I decided that I would answer them . Sound fun ? I hope so . I will say that I am not claiming to offer a truthful answer and if you actually treat my answers as true and then do something stupid to hurt yourself or the people around you then it 's not my fault . No tag backs . Also , since there are so many questions I 'll be breaking it into two or more posts , so if you like it you will have something to look forward to . And if you don 't you have something to dread . I also hope that Snopes doesn 't get angry at me for borrowing the questions for my own ( and your ) enjoyment . I will say this ; Snopes is a fantastic source of information on Urban Legends . Use ' em . Here I go : Snopes ' " Unanswerables " as answered by CollinQ : Is there any truth that if you choke on the candy Peeps , that it hardens in your throat and even with the heimlich maneuver you can 't be saved and you die ? Let us know . A : Not only is it true , it 's in the slogan : " Peeps - We 're here to kill you . " - Q : My younger sis heard : in order for a cologne / perfume / fragrance to be compatible to one 's body chemistry , spray a sample and then lick it . If the taste stings the tongue , it is not suitable ; no sting - it 's a good match . Please advise before I test the handful of colognes I 've been using ! A : Almost correct , except instead of licking it you can just spray it directly on your tongue . When you find the one that doesn 't sting , you 've found your optimum scent . Remember to cleanse your palate between sprays or you might receive a false negative . I 've found that I smell best with Butter Flavored Pam . Test away buddy ! - Q : HOW CAN I GET THE SUCTION BROKE WHEN THE CONTACT IS STUCK TO EYEA : A needle should do it , but be careful . Keep a steady hand and touch your eye as little as possible . Take your time . Posted by You know . The " F " word . As in " Fucking Hell ! I just found out from the home site 's message board that fucking Showtime canceled ' Dead Like Me ' ! Fuckers ! " etc . Sorry about that , but this really , really pisses me off . No , I never watched it on Showtime , but for what it 's worth I rarely watch any TV series while it 's airing . I get what I like on DVD * . Heather gave me the first season of DLM as a birthday present and I bought the second season a couple weeks ago as soon as I saw it on the shelf . So now ' Dead Like Me ' joins ' Freaks & Geeks ' and ' Miracles ' as another show that I loved that is now over unless someone with the power pulls their head out of their butt and revives it before the actors move on . I can 't even determine if they filmed a third season or not . It looks like they might have done half of it . So . Something of substance from me still to come . I just wanted to share my annoyance . - * Let 's see , off the top of my head : King of the Hill , The Simpsons , Futurama , Family Guy , Dilbert , Aqua Teen Hunger Force , Invader Zim , Ren & Stimpy Show , Harvy Birdman , Sealab 2021 , Beavis & Butthead , South Park , Rex the Runt , CSI , Columbo , MST3K , Monk , Twilight Zone , Ultraviolet , Freaks & Geeks , The Avengers , Highlander , X - Files , Danger 50 , 000 Volts ! , Only Fools & Horses , Monty Python 's Flying Circus , Kids in the Hall , The Thin Blue Line , The Young Ones , Bottom , The Office , Secret Agent , Oz , Black Adder , Red Dwarf , Father Ted , League of Gentlemen , Mr . Show , Reno 911 , Chappelle 's Show , Three 's Company , That 70 's Show , Quantum Leap , Malcolm in the Middle , Married With Children , Soap , Strangers With Candy , The Prisoner , Band of Brothers . . . I know there are more that I 'm forgetting . I like TV , I just like it better on my schedule ( I know , I need tivo ) . Yes , a lot of the shows I have are finished or cancelled , but a lot of them were also given an ending when their time was done . It sucks having something end without a resolution , especially after only one or two seasons . Apparently zombies swarmed San Francisco this past weekend . It 's finished , but still cool . This would be fun to do in Denver . Heh . " Things to do in Denver When You 're Undead . " I 'll try to have something of substance later in the day . I hope you all had a relaxing weekend . Heather and I saw three movies , finished watching the second season of ' Dead Like Me ' , dealt with a cashier that was so dense that he could have probably benefitted from having a sign dangling in front of him reminding him to breathe , and lost in Derek 's Poker Tournament of Fun and Goodies . The movies : The Devil 's Rejects , Wedding Crashers , Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ( 2nd viewing ) . Devil 's Rejects was gruesome , well filmed and well acted . Wedding Crashers was incredibly funny ( " Are they built for speed or comfort ? " ) . Charlie was just as good the second time around . I will make an effort to own all three . We still need to see Batman Begins . Dead Like Me - season 2 : Absolutely fantastic . If you haven 't checked this out you really should . Some of the funniest writing I 've seen in a TV show in ages and all of the actors do a wonderful job . It 's a shame it 's on Showtime since I don 't subscribe to any premium cable channels . I want more dammit ! Idiot cashier : Heather wrote all about the incident here . Nothing much to add except that drugs are bad , m ' kay ? This was the same Wendy 's where I ordered through the drive up a few years back , drove around to pick up my food and the first thing the window monkey says to me is , " Sup ? " Their hiring standards haven 't changed . Poker : I 'm keeping the streak alive ! Three times in and three times out . I 'm thinking that I really should do some practicing of this here " Poker " thingie . Someone at work was talking about a game that might help me out . It 's called " Poker " something or other . Sounds good to me . - - - An aside , Blogger seems to have finally fixed its post counter . This is 477 for me . My Junk Drawer has over 800 , but it 's junk . Heh . Still , it 's good to get an idea of how much I 've been babbling .
|
As if I needed something else to add to my general chaos of mental distraction , I 've started another blog . A story blog , really . Zombie related , naturally . If you have a few minutes it would be great if you would head over there , give it a read and tell me what you think either here or there . Or both . Zombie BloggerSince it 's a secondary site it won 't be updated nearly as often as this one . For example , the first draft of the post was written back on the 12th . I just got around to finalizing it today . Go me . I 've also decided to set up a site for The Jolly Reaper Interview : The Jolly ReaperThe remainder of the interview will be posted both here and there at the same time . Any new stories that take place in TJR 's " universe " will only be posted there . With all of this planned writing , I think that at some point it might not be a bad idea for me to learn how to write . Feeling blah and unfunny . It happens . When it happens these days I find that I turn to " POINTLESS PRODUCT CREATION ! " Today 's pointless product is a new bumper sticker that I put together for the original " Support Evolution " illustration . Why did I do that you ask ? No real reason , hence the pointlessness of it . Anyhow , here it is : If you really like it , I mean you like it so much that just glimpsing it out of the corner of your eye makes you shiver all over and craaaave one of your very own so that you can blah blah blah * , you are welcome to buy one here for $ 3 . 49 . That 's it for this Tuesday . Have a great evening everyone ! - - - * A list of suggestions of what to do with it : Stick it to your car to show your fondness for logical thinking and poetry . Stick it to a car belonging to a militant creationist with no sense of humor and film him freaking out for America 's Funniest Home Videos . Stick it on your school locker to let THE MAN know just how you feel about , you know , stuff . Use it as a book mark for your Bible . A really thick book mark . Keep it as a friend and talk to it when you think nobody 's looking . See ? It smiles at you . Give it to someone you love , because surely your loved one would enjoy a fish poem with a side of controversy . Roll it up really tight and snort coke through it . Buy a few to burn at a creationist bonfire rally of fun and free thought suppression . Slap it across the visor of the motorcycle cop that pulled you over for speeding and then skedaddle whilst he fumbles and shouts . Examine it real close to find the secret hidden message . * * Or , whatever other possible reason you might have for wanting one . - - - * * I 'm kidding . There 's no secret hidden message . * * * - - - * * * Or is there ? ( do - dee - do - doo . . . ) This was a movie watching weekend . Lots of movies watched . So many . . . Here 's the list and a brief review of each : Overnight - This is a behind the scenes documentary of the destruction of an ego . Specifically , the ego of the writer / director / musician of the movie " The Boondock Saints " . Overall I found it interesting , in a train wreck sort of way . Somehow he managed to spring back from defeat because he 's working on " the Boondock Saints 2 " , which after watching this documentary I 'm really curious as to how he got another chance . In Good Company - This movie stars Eric from " That 70s Show " ; Topher Grace . According to IMDB his real first name is Christopher , but he hated being called " Chris " so he changed it to " Topher " . Makes sense to me . Overall the movie was non - offensive , but it could have been told in 1 / 3 the time . It was slooooow . I also had a very hard time accepting the " romance " between Topher and Scarlett Johansson . I really didn 't feel it . It seemed like it existed solely because of the script , in spite of how much she looks like Donna with a smaller nose . So it was a " watch once " film for me . The Jacket - Starring Adrien Brody . I enjoyed this one quite a bit . It had a " 12 Monkeys " feel , except instead of going back , he was going forward . I won 't give away any of the plot . Just suffice it to say that it involves brain damage and death , and when is THAT not fun ? I also must say that apart from Calista Flockhart , nobody can pull off emaciated like Adrien . Donnie Darko ( Director 's Cut ) - I liked it but after one viewing I have NO idea what happened . I thought I did but it still doesn 't make sense if I examine it too closely . Yet I can 't muster up the enthusiasm to watch it again . Taking Lives - This was a decent thriller even though I figured out who the serial killer was moments after seeing him . Then it was just a matter of figuring out his game . There was a nice twist at the very end though . Memento - I 'd seen it before , but Heather hadn 't and I really wanted her to . She enjoyed it and I enjoyed watching it agaiPosted by A while back when I was talking about making tattoos I had requests from Kif and Justin for custom tattoo design . Kif 's wings were finished and blogged about awhile ago . Justin wanted a skull with film coming out of its mouth on crossed gobo arms with the heads at the top over a slate . I asked him to send me photos of the gobo arms since I 'd never heard of them before . He also sent me a photo of a slate which was very helpful . A couple months ago I sent him an early sketch to see if I had the general idea right . I 'd left out the slate since it was basically background . This was the sketch : It was close , but not quite right . He 'd wanted it to be a full skull and rather than have the film like a snake 's body he wanted it to be more like a tongue . He did think that having a camera lens for the eye was a good idea though . After the clarification and direction , I drifted off to other projects for awhile . A couple days ago I resumed work on it and this is where it stands : Now I 'm just waiting to hear what he thinks of it . There 's a game that you really need to try out . Seriously . It 's available for both Windows and Macintosh . It 's not a twitch game . As a matter of fact , the calmer you are when you play it , the better you will do . It 's been around for years and I remember trying it out back on OS9 . Then it didn 't work so good . Now it 's excellent . Best of all , a good chunk of it is free . Click the pic to check the game out . For free you can run through the tutorial , which I highly recommend . You can also , without paying a single cent , play the " Daily Demo " . This is a set of seven levels that is changed every day of the year at midnight , Central . Free to play as often as you like . All you need is a computer that runs Windows 98 and up , or Mac OS 9 . 1 and up , and an internet connection , which if you are reading this , you have . Static screenshots do not do this game justice . They have movies that show the game in motion at the website , but if you are going to download a movie you may as well download the game . Give it a shot and then tell me what you think . Be sure to go through the tutorials however , or it might be confusing as to what you are supposed to do . - - - From their page " the game " : Embrace your ADHD ! There 's lots of talk about Attention - Deficit Hyperactivity in the media these days . It 's said that ADD and ADHD manifests itself as " . . . a persistent pattern of inattention and hyperactivity - impulsivity that occurs more frequently and more severely than is typically observed in people at comparable levels of development . Sometimes people with ADHD hyperfocus . They focus on one thing and ignore all else around them . " Is that necessarily a bad thing ? tranquility was envisioned and designed by a video game programmer with a textbook case of Attention Deficit Disorder . It took a year of struggling to maintain enough focus to get the game completed , but well worth because it ended up being a refuge from what he , and other ADHD people deal with every day . We 've had a hard time describing exactly what the game is really about , which shows thePosted by 1 . On the way home after the last poker tournament at Derek 's house , Heather and I passed an SUV with a bumper sticker that read : Not so leanNot so meanBut still a Marine ! . . . I laughed and then proceeded to have quite a bit of fun with it . A fair amount of it was " you had to be there " stuff having to do with me saying witty things in strange voices ; most of which won 't carry over well in print . I wondered what type of person such a sticker was designed for . A retired Marine ? An office Marine ? A Marine that has grown a tinch chunky and friendlier over time ? " I may be assigned desk duty , my ass has grown larger than my chair and I 'm kind to children and kittens , but I 'm still a Marine dammit ! Ooowah ! Donuts ! Hey sarge ! I can TAKE that hill ! * munch * munch * munch * " Or is it possibly for the more effeminate Marine ? I 'm not speaking of women . I 'm talking about the ones you don 't ask , don 't tell about . At least , that was the policy back when I was enlisted . Perhaps it 's different now , and they give them bumper stickers ? " I 'm a MARINE ! Semper Fi Guys ! " or " I 'm a closet Marine . Shhhhhh ! " I just don 't know . I tried to get a look at the driver as we passed but he / she had tinted windows and it was at night so no luck . 2 . On the way in to work there was an old , old , old , old , olllllldddddd , woman behind me in a new Chrysler . She had an angel hanging on her rear view mirror . Every time I came to a stop I would look in my mirror to see if she was going to hit me . She never did , but EVERY time she came to a stop , up until I was able to ditch her , she would turn her head and talk to that angel . Freaky . I knew she was talking to the angel because she would look right at it and her lips would move . Then she would look ahead at me and her lips would stop . Then she looked back and the moving lips started up again . I 'm a little concerned that she was talking about me . And even more concerned about what the angel was saying . The comic that the earlier panel was from was Moon Knight . Moon Knight . No points awarded , but thanks to the four of you who played . As a bonus here 's another wonderful panel from the same issue : If I were the guy in purple I would be so grateful that I was face down at that moment . In spite of the apparent evidence to the contrary , Moon Knight was a fantastic series . I 'm surprised they haven 't made a movie of it yet , to be honest . Next , Kathleen was kind enough to link to an article about the killing by police of the girl whose father was using her as a human shield . The way it is written , it strikes me as an opinion piece . If that is the case it 's possible that the writer is not presenting all of the facts of the situation accurately . I will say this , it made me angry . Mostly at the writer . Here 's what I 've gathered from her article : 1 - Peña was armed with a stolen semiautomatic handgun . 2 - Peña and the police had been in a stand off for 2 . 5 hours . 3 - ' " The guy was shooting at ( police ) all the time . Bullets were pinging off cars . . . . This guy was no innocent bystander . " ' 4 - Peña fired his gun " toward " people . 5 - " Police say they can 't determine which officer fired the shot that killed the toddler " 6 - " Still , Police Chief William J . Bratton has been clear that all fault lies with the father - - " a cold - blooded killer , ' who doomed his baby girl when he used her as a human shield while continuing to fire at the authorities . " 7 - She blames the mother for the daughter 's death due to her poor choice in men . 8 - Then she goes on to say " I don 't mean to suggest in any way that Suzie Marie 's life was open to forfeit because of her mother 's bad decisions - - an innocent child died an early death when that never should have happened . But I will argue that Lopez should consider how her own bad judgment in partners brought violence and mayhem into her children 's lives . " 9 - Apparently it is an impossible standard to expect the police to not shoot children . Here 's what I find wrong with the points she made : 1 - I 'm not the expert Posted by I 'm having trouble getting into this week . I feel displaced . It happens . I really , really wanted to have the next part of the interview up for your enjoyment , but since I haven 't written it yet that 's kinda hard . Alternatively I would like to have some drawings for you , but every time I try to draw something for the last several days I can 't . Then I was racking my brain for an interesting story to relate but came up empty . Yes . My brain is empty . Well , almost empty . One thing did come to mind . It 's another story about our former co - worker " Sunny " . The one who is married to the mighty sodomite . It 's a short one . Here it goes . " Sunny " once bought meat from a guy who was going door to door selling . . . meat . Not for a local meat packing company or anything . As far as I know we don 't have a meat packing company around here . He was just this guy - I 'm reasonably sure she described him as " a bit scruffy looking " - with a cooler full of meat that he wanted to sell , and apparently the best way to do that in his mind was to go around to strangers homes at night , knock on the doors and when someone answered say something like , " Gotsum meat wantsum ? " while grinning in a friendly way . Perhaps with banjo music playing softly in the background . There must have been something to it because " Sunny " boughtsum . I guess she didn 't want to tell the nice scruffy man , " No . I 'm not really keen on your meat . " or something . Derek probably remembers how much she paid . I 'm thinking around $ 30 or so . The next day while telling us about it she asked , " Do you think I should eat it ? I probably shouldn 't . Should I ? " . . . That 's the best time for second thoughts . A day later . I have no idea if she ever ate it or not . You 've been wonderful . See you tomorrow . I never planned on wanting to have kids when I was a teenager . I mean I didn 't expect to EVER want kids . Even when my son was on the way I still wasn 't sure how I felt about it . As it turns out I love kids . Specifically , I love MY kids . Other people 's kids . . . This past weekend Heather and I went by Game Crazy to try out the one - race demo of the upcoming game " Burnout Revenge " . It 's the sequel to a racing game that surprisingly captured Heather 's interest : Burnout 3 . As fun and addictive as Burnout 3 was , Revenge is set to blow it away . My lord was that fun ! Barring delays it 's only a month away . I also decided to try out a bargain title called Phantom Dust that they had used and were selling cheap . They had two copies and it is a system linkable game so if I liked it I was going to buy both so my son and I could spend a night or two beating up on each other before school starts and I get to laugh at him . The clerk set the game up and I skipped through the opening movies and cut scenes in an attempt to get to the action to see how it played . I made it past the opening stuff but still wasn 't in the action because it 's one of those games where you have to explore a bit to find where you can fight . So I 'm wandering around in the game and I feel a tugging on the controller cord . I look down and there 's this little boy no older than five or six pulling on my cord . He was a child that is probably referred to as " precious * " by his mother . I could tell he was a child that was going to have a tough time growing up . I mean actually getting bigger . He had stubby arms , stubby legs and a big head with big eyes that were staring up at me . " Can I play ? " he said when he saw that he had my attention . " No , sorry , " I answered and then returned to figuring out where I needed to go . * tug * tug * " Why ? " I look back down and say , " Because I 'm trying it out to see if I want to buy it . " He gets this screwed up little look on his big melon , stares me in the eye and says , " Liar . " My eyes must have widened and I got out , " Wha . . . ? " before his wee legs carPosted by Here 's a panel from a comic book series that I loved as a child . It 's from the first issue which really overreached itself in terms of plot and art direction . It got better . A few observations about this panel : - I never realized that The Village Inn was such a rockin ' place . - Look at the size of Bushman 's pointing arm ! You can tell he 's right handed . And lonely . - I never knew that dancing was worse than death . I know it often feels that way when you suddenly realize just how stupid you look , but given the choice between wiggling around a bit and cooling to room temperature in a pool of my own blood in the street , I 'll wiggle . Thanks . - I really think that the humiliation comes in how they are dancing . They just aren 't really trying . No wonder Bushman looks miffed . - - - If I get enough people to play along I might turn this into another temporary " regular " feature . Okay , first let me tell you the reason I 'm going with this instead of the other suggestions . It isn 't because Heather asked for it . I know , that might be hard to believe , but it 's true . I 'm going with " Unanswerables " because I 'm a bit busier than I expected to be today and most of the things I suggested take a bit of time to assemble . I can do this about as easily as replying to one of Pat Angelo 's posts . I might have a bit of time to make a new CliparToon as well before the day is out . You never know until it 's too late . For those of you who were hoping for the other stuff , rest assured that it will be coming in time . I 'm not sure the interview will be done after the next part or not , so those of you looking for an end to that , it may still be awhile . So here they are : fake answers to real questions that were asked of the fine people at Snopes - Your One Stop Shopping Spot for Urban Legend Debunking . Same disclaimers apply . Q : Can cocoa butter get rid of stretch marks ? A : Yes , but only stomach stretch marks and you have to eat an awful lot of it . Constantly . I recommend spreading it on cocoa toast . - Q : is it true that if you take already been chewed gum and put it in an orange peel and put it in the refigrator for 4 - 6 weeks and then eat it will it be acid ? A : Yes , but not the " happy " acid that makes you see strange and new things . It makes " alien blood " acid that will melt through your jaw and leave you looking like that poor kid who listened to too much ' Stryper ' , took too much " happy " acid then ate a shotgun . Or was it ' Phil Collins ' ? Either way , as long as you keep it in that orange peel you should be safe . - Q : can you tell me how i would analyze the effect each statistic has on the world . A : Statistics actually have no effect whatsoever on the world . Meteors have quite an impact however . - Q : I have heard beggars can make a nice $ 100 , 000 salary , I was wondering if this is true . A : Absolutely ! That 's why after the " dot . com " bust nobody really suffered . They just started begging and were able to continue living like kinPosted by This is an illusion . Your eyes are playing tricks on you . Instead of creating something with which to ( hopefully ) entertain you today , I was over at Mark 's site commenting on a couple of his recent posts . And now my creative reservoir is drained . Sorry . In the meantime let me pose a question to you . What would you , my beloved readers , like me to do next out of these choices : - Write part 5 of the Interview with the Jolly Reaper . - Answer the remaining Snopes " Unanswerables " - Make fun of some ridiculous children products that I 've had sitting on my desktop for awhile now . - Make a new CliparToon as the one that 's up there now has started to gather dust . - Draw something . Anything . Maybe a zombie . Or not . - This is an oldie : Make a new " Portal of Evil cartoon " . I 'm not saying that any of that is what I will do , depending on what happens over the next 18 hours or so . But I would like to hear what you have to say . Bits from the Harper 's Weekly and my take on the same . " A Florida man pleaded guilty to beating his wife to death because she wanted to cuddle after sex . " Explain that one to your cell mate . " I was done with ' us ' time and I just wanted some ' me ' time . " I hope he gets many years of fuzzy cuddling . Teach him a little tenderness . " A Cambodian man found his mother after being separated from her for thirty years , then learned that she was also the mother of his wife . " Oops . " Um . Kids . Remember how we couldn 't figure out why you all have flippers ? We might have an answer . " " In Los Angeles , cocaine was found in the bloodstream of a toddler who died when her father used her as a shield in a shootout with police . " WTF ? Okay , if someone holds up a kid , the cops should stop shooting . In no way am I saying this guy was right to hide behind his child or give her cocaine , but damn . LA . " A man in Yorkshire , England , filmed his own suicide on his mobile phone and beamed it to his girlfriend . " Apart from how wrong that is , I can 't help but wonder if he was driving at the time . And yeah , that 's wrong too . But it gives me a little hope if I can look around while driving , see all the people on their phones surrounding me and think that some of them won 't voluntarily be there tomorrow . " An Australian woman sued the Sydney Aquarium for allowing a shark tank to shatter and shower her in sharks . " I just really like the alliteration of ' . . . shatter and shower her in sharks . ' Poetic . Imagine withstanding a shark shower . " We 're gonna need a bigger umbrella . " " A man fell off the same building twice in Darwin , Australia . " When I get the Harper 's mail I 'm not given details . I have to let my fevered brain come to its own conclusions . Here , I figure he hit the ground , got up , dusted himself off , said " Survival of the fittest my ASS ! " then hopped back in the elevator for another go . I might be wrong . " A British man was ordered to stop committing anti - social acts after he was witnessed throwing furniture through his windows , setting bonfires in the morning , aPosted by I was silly when I said I would have something more for you today . I 'm dragging so much ass today I need another pair of pants and a few more hands . The concert ran long . We got out at 12 : 35 am . Home from picking up my daughter by 1 : 30 . Might have fallen asleep by 2 . Was supposed to be up at 7 . Overslept a tinch and was six minutes late for work . The traffic lights were kind to me this morning . The good : It was the Aquabats . Trevor got four of the five band members to sign his shoes . I have a sticker . . . I didn 't get beat up by a gang of young freaks , which were there in abundance . Um . . . The bad : I will never , NEVER go to that venue again . Good GOD ! It was easily 40 degrees hotter in that place than it was outside . And it was a damp , sweat infused , people stink heat . Standing room only . I hate crowds as it is , and there they kept touching me . Ugh . UGGGHHH ! And yes , my ears are still ringing . If I ever find myself deaf when I 'm older and start to wonder how it could have happened , it would be grand if someone would refer me back to this post so I can read it and go , " Oh . Right . " My eyes hurt too , probably from smoke or missing sleep . Or some eye disease that was born through the air on the freak funk . I don 't know . About halfway though The Aquabats ' song " Red Sweater " I realized I was about to pass out from heat exhaustion . Someday I imagine I 'll look back on this and say , " Gosh , that was hot . " Tomorrow I might be back to normal . Whatever that is . - * I know , it 's " play " but I wasn 't there for a play dammit ! And I do feel like I was shot in the head . Hi kids ! Today there are three of us here in our wonderful art department , where there would normally be six . That means I 'll only have time for a single quick post today . And this is it . Tonight I 'm going to be taking my son to see The Aquabats in concert . It 's in a small venue so I expect that I shall be deaf by the end of the night . I must say , hearing was awfully fun while it lasted ! Trevor will also be going . Even though he forgot to tell me about the concert , he did manage to paint up a new pair of converse high tops with the Aquabats logo . They turned out real nice . He 's going to try to get them signed after the concert . Regardless of whether he succeeds I 'll post some photos of them at some point this year . Tomorrow I might have something wondrous for all you out there . I have a couple new drawing programs that I 'm trying out . " Real media " programs . If I come up with anything decent I 'll put it up . If I don 't , that 's right , I won 't . Oh yeah , school starts for my chill ' ens a week from Thursday . One is excited and one is depressed . You can probably guess which is which . I should have added this to my first set of Answers to " Unanswerables " . This is Snopes explanation for the questions : Every day our inbox fills with hundreds of questions that range from the routine to the extraordinary , the mundane to the fantastic . While we 're honored that our readers think to turn to us with these head - scratchers , many of their queries are too obscure or complicated for us to answer . Among the more unusual questions that are sent our way , we sometimes find a few seemingly posed with such a sense of urgency that we can 't help but wonder about the circumstances that prompted them - and the results . Unfortunately the results may never be known , but at least I can help the world at large by providing answers that can be relied on to be totally wrong if not outright lies . Just doin ' what I can . A reminder : my answers aren 't meant to be taken seriously . So , don 't . If you do , not my fault . Snopes ' " Unanswerables " as answered by CollinRound 2Q : Is Ciara a MAN ? ? ? ? ? PLEASE ANSWER ME BACK ! ! ! ! ! A : Who ? Your turn . - Q : Is some one can tell me how to read expire date on corona beer box / bottle . code I have on box is DC08C088 . What this mean . reply me ASAP . A : If you went ahead and drank the coronas without waiting for an answer it means that you can soon expect to go blind and lose the feeling in half your body . Glad to help , although my name is not ASAP . - Q : People who get bite by a spider then get large bump on their body . The bump then erupps into hundereds of baby spiders . Can that realy happen ? A : Of course . It happens all the time . Don 't you watch the news ? But don 't worry . They won 't erupt until they 've had their fill of you so they aren 't likely to bite again for at least an hour . - Q : Can people see into your house if it 's darker in your house than it is outside ? When I look around at other houses that don 't have lights on , I see darkness , a reflection or only what is immediately in front of the window ( curtains , plants , etc . ) . As a result , I tend to act as though no one can see what I 'm doing inside as long as the lights are off and there is no other source of light illuminating me . My wife , however , is often appalled by this behavior . Should she be appalled , or am I correct ? A : Not my house . I keep the blinds closed when I 'm in the buff . And stop looking in your neighbors ' windows . Pervert . - Q : I 've been told that if you snort powdered glass as you would cocaine , you will die . Is this just a rumor , or would it actually happen ? A : Yes , you will die . The glass interacts with the ink of the new $ 20 bill you are using which causes a chemical reaction that rockets the itty - bitty shards of glass up your nose where , due to the sudden burst of speed , they shred through your brain and shoot out of the back of your head . You should be okay if you use a plastic straw or stick to licking it off your ho 's breasts . As long as tPosted by Part 1Part 2Part 3M : So let me see if I have this right . In order to get your own " Reaping Franchise " all you have to do is go to the IRS , fill out a form , take some tests to show you have the stomach for it and that 's it ? You don 't need to pay anything ? No start up fees ? TJR : Well for the most part that 's correct . But believe me , you do pay . M : How so ? TJR : You pay on your first client call . . . M : Are you okay ? TJR : What ? Oh . Yes . I 'm sorry . I was just remembering . You see , after you 've turned in your forms and taken the initial tests then it 's like any other government activity . They give you what you need to do the job and then you wait for the time to come to do it . When I applied eight years ago we didn 't have these nifty GPS locators . I was given a pager and I was told to always be near a phone . Generally I would have an hour from when the pager went off to give them a call back if I accepted the job , so it didn 't really limit my movements much . No long trips through the desert , but otherwise life as normal . I was also given a kit containing pamphlets that talked about presenting the proper image , putting together a good business identity , why I no longer needed health and dental benefits , how to cope with stress , the credit value of a soul and others . It was quite a package . They gave me a franchise number and a mail order catalog for an unlisted company that specialized in hard to find reaper gear . It was explained that I would be receiving my Visa Black Card in the mail within the next few weeks and that , based on the size of my franchise I would have a quarterly budget that I needed to remain within . If I had trouble staying within the budget or seemed to be spending money at an excessive rate I could expect to be audited . I was told as I finished up that I wouldn 't be an actual reaper until the pager went off ; if I turned down my first client my franchise would be forfeit and I would have to repay the balance on my Black Card ; and that it could take anywhere from three months to a year before I was paged . I thankPosted by And I 've got nothing . Again , I wanted to add to the Interview with TJR , but I 'm just too busy to get it written today . I don 't even have time to answer a few more " unanswerables " . For what it 's worth , barring any cataclysmic event , the very next post will be the long and patiently awaited 4th part of the interview . It just won 't be today . Sorry . continue The Interview With The Jolly Reaper today , but then something else came up that might be more effective at getting my brain to work better on this Monday afternoon . Here 's the gist of it . BoingBoing linked to a page on Snopes where they 've posted " Unanswerables " . And I decided that I would answer them . Sound fun ? I hope so . I will say that I am not claiming to offer a truthful answer and if you actually treat my answers as true and then do something stupid to hurt yourself or the people around you then it 's not my fault . No tag backs . Also , since there are so many questions I 'll be breaking it into two or more posts , so if you like it you will have something to look forward to . And if you don 't you have something to dread . I also hope that Snopes doesn 't get angry at me for borrowing the questions for my own ( and your ) enjoyment . I will say this ; Snopes is a fantastic source of information on Urban Legends . Use ' em . Here I go : Snopes ' " Unanswerables " as answered by CollinQ : Is there any truth that if you choke on the candy Peeps , that it hardens in your throat and even with the heimlich maneuver you can 't be saved and you die ? Let us know . A : Not only is it true , it 's in the slogan : " Peeps - We 're here to kill you . " - Q : My younger sis heard : in order for a cologne / perfume / fragrance to be compatible to one 's body chemistry , spray a sample and then lick it . If the taste stings the tongue , it is not suitable ; no sting - it 's a good match . Please advise before I test the handful of colognes I 've been using ! A : Almost correct , except instead of licking it you can just spray it directly on your tongue . When you find the one that doesn 't sting , you 've found your optimum scent . Remember to cleanse your palate between sprays or you might receive a false negative . I 've found that I smell best with Butter Flavored Pam . Test away buddy ! - Q : HOW CAN I GET THE SUCTION BROKE WHEN THE CONTACT IS STUCK TO EYEA : A needle should do it , but be careful . Keep a steady hand and touch your eye as little as possible . Take your time . Posted by You know . The " F " word . As in " Fucking Hell ! I just found out from the home site 's message board that fucking Showtime canceled ' Dead Like Me ' ! Fuckers ! " etc . Sorry about that , but this really , really pisses me off . No , I never watched it on Showtime , but for what it 's worth I rarely watch any TV series while it 's airing . I get what I like on DVD * . Heather gave me the first season of DLM as a birthday present and I bought the second season a couple weeks ago as soon as I saw it on the shelf . So now ' Dead Like Me ' joins ' Freaks & Geeks ' and ' Miracles ' as another show that I loved that is now over unless someone with the power pulls their head out of their butt and revives it before the actors move on . I can 't even determine if they filmed a third season or not . It looks like they might have done half of it . So . Something of substance from me still to come . I just wanted to share my annoyance . - * Let 's see , off the top of my head : King of the Hill , The Simpsons , Futurama , Family Guy , Dilbert , Aqua Teen Hunger Force , Invader Zim , Ren & Stimpy Show , Harvy Birdman , Sealab 2021 , Beavis & Butthead , South Park , Rex the Runt , CSI , Columbo , MST3K , Monk , Twilight Zone , Ultraviolet , Freaks & Geeks , The Avengers , Highlander , X - Files , Danger 50 , 000 Volts ! , Only Fools & Horses , Monty Python 's Flying Circus , Kids in the Hall , The Thin Blue Line , The Young Ones , Bottom , The Office , Secret Agent , Oz , Black Adder , Red Dwarf , Father Ted , League of Gentlemen , Mr . Show , Reno 911 , Chappelle 's Show , Three 's Company , That 70 's Show , Quantum Leap , Malcolm in the Middle , Married With Children , Soap , Strangers With Candy , The Prisoner , Band of Brothers . . . I know there are more that I 'm forgetting . I like TV , I just like it better on my schedule ( I know , I need tivo ) . Yes , a lot of the shows I have are finished or cancelled , but a lot of them were also given an ending when their time was done . It sucks having something end without a resolution , especially after only one or two seasons . Apparently zombies swarmed San Francisco this past weekend . It 's finished , but still cool . This would be fun to do in Denver . Heh . " Things to do in Denver When You 're Undead . " I 'll try to have something of substance later in the day . I hope you all had a relaxing weekend . Heather and I saw three movies , finished watching the second season of ' Dead Like Me ' , dealt with a cashier that was so dense that he could have probably benefitted from having a sign dangling in front of him reminding him to breathe , and lost in Derek 's Poker Tournament of Fun and Goodies . The movies : The Devil 's Rejects , Wedding Crashers , Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ( 2nd viewing ) . Devil 's Rejects was gruesome , well filmed and well acted . Wedding Crashers was incredibly funny ( " Are they built for speed or comfort ? " ) . Charlie was just as good the second time around . I will make an effort to own all three . We still need to see Batman Begins . Dead Like Me - season 2 : Absolutely fantastic . If you haven 't checked this out you really should . Some of the funniest writing I 've seen in a TV show in ages and all of the actors do a wonderful job . It 's a shame it 's on Showtime since I don 't subscribe to any premium cable channels . I want more dammit ! Idiot cashier : Heather wrote all about the incident here . Nothing much to add except that drugs are bad , m ' kay ? This was the same Wendy 's where I ordered through the drive up a few years back , drove around to pick up my food and the first thing the window monkey says to me is , " Sup ? " Their hiring standards haven 't changed . Poker : I 'm keeping the streak alive ! Three times in and three times out . I 'm thinking that I really should do some practicing of this here " Poker " thingie . Someone at work was talking about a game that might help me out . It 's called " Poker " something or other . Sounds good to me . - - - An aside , Blogger seems to have finally fixed its post counter . This is 477 for me . My Junk Drawer has over 800 , but it 's junk . Heh . Still , it 's good to get an idea of how much I 've been babbling .
|
" Furyu Mutan " ( 風流夢譚 = " The Tale of the Elegant Dream " ) is a story written by Shichiro Fukazawa ( 深沢七郎 ) , published in Japan in 1960 . It 's famous because it was so scandalous that mobsters sent an assassin to kill the publisher ! The assassin managed to kill the maid and stab the publisher 's wife several times , which was fucked up ! This being Japan , the publisher 's response was to publicly apologize to the mobsters and then open a noodle shop . Wait , the AUTHOR retired from writing and supposedly opened a noodle shop . They say . My point is , this story ( and the ensuing scandal ) laid down the rules for what can and can 't be said about the Emperor system in fiction : namely , that you CAN ' T talk about him . And these rules are still in effect even today . That 's why you can find 1 , 000 child - porn manga but you can 't find one manga about the Emperor picking his nose , because THAT would be offensive . Turns out that it 's a pretty good story : It starts out pretty normal , but as the story gets more and more weird , the language also gets more weird : It jerks back and forth between classical poetry , street slang , literary pretention , and Monty Python - ish gag humor . I asked a friend - of - a - friend who is studying post - war radical thought at Waseda , and he said that even top scholars can 't agree on the meaning of this story . Some interpret it as an ANTI - communist satire ( that is to say , a story making fun of what a communist revolution would look like ) . However , right - wingers are not known for their sense of humor . If I had to analyze ' the dream , ' I 'd say it was based on my odd relationship to my wrist - watch . You see , my watch is strange - on my arm , it tells time very accurately , but when I take it off , it stops moving . Every night I unwrap it from my wrist and lay it on my bedside table , and the hands of the watch go still . And every morning I put it back on , and the hands resume their motion . Therefore , I like to tell people , " The watch goes to sleep when I do ! " Saying this makes me feel like I have a very close relationship with my wrist - watch . I suppose that 's why I never considered it to be ' broken , ' despite its eccentric behavior . It never crossed my mind that it couldn 't do the job of a regular watch . My nephew Mitsuhito , who lives with me , loves all kinds of machines , so he bought a very high - quality Westminster grandfather - clock , which runs all the time . So really , it 's no problem to tell the time in any case ! My younger brother also wedged his way in to peep at it : " Ah ! " he cried . For , inside the watch , there were a vast number of sparkling , detailed , finely - tuned gears . " Is that . . . gold ? " my younger brother asked hopefully . At that , I said to myself , " I told you so ! " I closed my hands in a prayer of thanks for the good fortune : this watch had obviously been commissioned by someone of taste , and made with great care , yet it had fallen into my hands almost by accident . The watch - maker spent five minutes examining the interior , before pronouncing , " I can 't see anything wrong with it . " Then , " Such a good watch - it 's a shame to wear it with a very ordinary band - you 're making it weep ! " ( I told you so ! ) " Why don 't you try something like this ? " He held up a band made from golden thread , which cost 50 dollars . Of course , I had been winding it the whole time , but I realized that if I explained that it stopped anyway , he would think I was strange . So , we headed home without ever addressing the original problem . But , after our return , my younger brother soon brought me a department - store catalog of watches . " That right there ? That is a genuine Inchiki watch . It 's the finest watch made in Switzerland . And yet , even its gears are galvanized iron , right ? A gold band like what you bought today ? That would be wasted on this Swiss watch ! " ( I told you so ! ) At any rate , this exchange caused me to recollect the day I initially aquired the wrist - watch . I bought it from my friend for merely thirty dollars . He said that his American co - worker had had a death in the family , which required her to return to America immediately . Consequently , she had to sell her possessions at fire - sale prices . ' She practically gave this away - I only paid $ 50 for it ! But since we 're friends , I can let you have it for only $ 30 , ' he 'd said . I bought the watch , but still had doubts if it was really ' given ' to my friend by an ' American woman . ' Furthermore , the compliments from the watch - repairman and the expensive band I 'd bought made me feel as if taking care of it was a bit of a burden . Still and all , somehow I felt fond of it . Explaining that it ' went to sleep ' when I did , made me realize that I didn 't want to take it off my arm anymore . That night , I had gotten home quite late - around 1 : 30 . My last conscious memory was checking the Westminster wall clock , which read 1 : 50 , and then my wrist - watch , which also read 1 : 50 . Soon after , I fell fully asleep and had ' the dream . ' The dream began with me riding the Inokashira subway line to Shibuya . It seemed to be rush hour - the train was packed with commuters . The people around me were talking noisily : " Just now , there 's been an outbreak of violence in the center of Tokyo ! " Someone was playing a radio - the reports confirmed the incident . The train pulled into the station and I started to look for the bus for Yaesuguchi . What errand was I on , that required me to go to a place like Yaesuguchi , I couldn 't recall . It is one of those things that simply happens in dreams ; there 's no point in asking why . I went to the bus stop , in front of Oomori Shopping Center , and saw that people were lined up clear to the top of Dogenzaka hill , and who - knows - how far beyond that ! Without thinking , I cut into the very head of the entire line . This was quite unlike me , to disrupt the public order like that , but no one complained . And why was that , I wondered ? They were busy talking excitedly , like the people on the train . But they weren 't saying , ' Violence hs broken out in the center of Tokyo , ' instead they were saying , ' The revolution has begun ! ' " Ain 't no damn revolution ! They got to topple the government , in order to build a better Japan for everyone , that 's all , " he replied . I really hate the sound of the word ' Japan , ' so in an instant , I grew quite vexed : At that moment , I realized that the bus line was composed of all kinds of blue - collar workers . And while we had been talking , the bus had finally arrived at the head of the line and pulled to a stop . The men in line charged the bus with a roar , stampeding on board , and throwing the bus driver out . One of the lined - up men took the driver 's seat , and sped off . I watched passively , standing at the bus stop and waiting , as if this was an everyday occurrence . " Now , I wonder where they went to ? " I asked the person next to me . " Those damn detectives , " I said . " I bet they 're safe . Whenever the shit hits the fan , they barricade themselves inside and shoot from the shadows . It 's a little boring of them , frankly . " As I spoke , I turned to the side , and noticed that the famous nude dancer Natsukaze Soyoko was standing in line next to me . Stranger still was that she had chosen this moment to give herself a manicure . What struck me as especially strange , though , was the way she was doing it : she was holding her hand still and moving the file , instead of vice versa . That technique was really improper , I thought , but I was paralyzed by the sight of her and stood speechless . Realizing that she 'd think me rather odd if I continued to stare , I turned back to the first gentleman : " Machine guns , eh ? If you guys have machine - guns , it 'll turn out all right , won 't it ? " At that moment , another bus arrived at the head of the line and pulled to a stop . Again , the men in line charged the bus with a roar , stampeding on board , and throwing the bus driver out . One of the lined - up men took the driver 's seat , and sped off . Again , I watched passively , standing at the bus stop and waiting , as if this was an everyday occurrence . " Now , I wonder where they went to ? " I asked the person next to me . " Naw , all the enlisted men are on our side ! It 's the damn officers , they 're fucking up the program , but they 're a tiny minority . The foot - soldiers , they 're all farmers ' sons , like us . Those guys are 100 % dedicated to the cause . " " When did everyone decide to take sides ? " I asked , but I was cut off by a new voice : " No one decided , dumbass ! It just happened . " She replied : " It 's not a brawl , man . It 's a war ! This morning , we were all commuting to work as usual , and now it 's a revolution , so I 've decided to go fight too ! " I begged her respectfully , but inside I felt she was strange - her knitting technique was very unorthodox . She let her balls of yarn roll out into the street ; the yarn stretching up to her hands from a distance of several yards . I felt the resulting garment would be very filthy , but I was once again paralyzed and unable to speak : the words , " Throw that thing away ! " seemed frozen on the tip of my tongue . Then a louder voice came - someone was yelling . I shyly turned to look , and saw a car approaching , packed full of people , with a flag on top , which read " Women 's Lib ! ! ! " The car was undoubtedly headed for the bus stop . " Naw , we can handle a flame - thrower or two , " replied the knitting lady . I stood , dumb - struck , as she continued : " After all , the weak point of flame - throwers is , they can 't withstand a direct bazooka attack . And our army guys , they 're getting the bazookas ready right now . " No sooner had the people around me burst into a racous round of applause , than the band started playing " Quizas Quizas " and marching to where we stood . I found this strange , because they were playing it in the style of a rhumba ( or was it a mambo ? I can never tell the difference ) ! At any rate , I kept my doubts to myself . Some guy kept yelling " Play ' Kumbai Kumbai Chello ' ! " over and over . What was up with him ? I wondered . But before I could find out , another bus pulled up right in front of me , and once again the crowd surged forward with a roar . Once again , they ejected the driver , and prepared to drive off . This time , though , I joined in with a roar of my own , and pushed my way into the very center of the bus . Soon the bus was full to capacity and headed off in the direction of the Imperial Palace . We went past Akasaka and then Miyakezaka . The Palace 's ' cherry gate ' ( Sakuradamon ) was open , and soon we entered the field directly in front of the Palace itself . The field was full of throngs of people , but the bus plowed through them , not seeming to care if they got hit or not . I noticed that some Oden ( deep - fried fast food ) stalls had been set up for the crowd , as had stalls selling cotton , sweets , ramen , pinwheels , bamboo flutes , and even balloons ! Next to them , His Highness the Imperial Prince and Her Highness the Imperial Princess were lying face - up . It looked as if we had arrived just in time for their execution . What I found most odd about this was - the axe that the executioner was raising ( as if to sever their heads ) was the same axe I had used to cut wood with in the past . If I recall correctly , it wasn 't a proper axe - the handle was quite distinctive because it was so narrow . So my axe and this axe really must be one and the same ! " Ah , " I thought , " if it 's really my axe they 're chopping people up with , then it 'll get dirty ! " However , I couldn 't bring myself to ask the man to stop on my account . And then , with one fell blow , the executioner brought the axe down on the His Highness the Imperial Prince , and with a SU - TAN ! the head popped off . And with a KORO , KORO , KORO sound , the head rolled and rolled through the crowd , for a very long time before finally coming to a stop . At that point , I decided the axe was definitely too dirty for me to use again . But throwing it away would be wasteful - perhaps I would justI continued to stare fixedly at the gold brocade 's patterns , while addressing the gentleman in a Western suit next to me : " The illustration on the side of the kimono - is that Kinkaku temple ? Or is it Ginkaku temple ? " He replied , " No , that 's a picture of the Hojuu Daijinja shrine - Shinto , not Buddhist ! But of course , look on the east side , you can see the Sanjo Daibashi bridge next to it ! " The way he answered in such pedantic detail confirmed my hunch . Next , I asked him , " Sir , are you working at the Imperial Palace ? " " I 've had the privilege of being employed on these premises for thirty or fifty years , " he replied . What I found strange about the gentleman was not that he was in the middle of a crowd of enemies , yet unharmed . Nor was it that he was so cool and composed while staring at the dead bodies of the Royal Family . What I found strange was that he wore a heavy chain necklace , dense with amulets , wrapped around his neck so many times it looked like he might choke . It must not be that heavy . But surely it has to have at least a bit of heft to it , mustn 't it ? On the other hand . . . . The gentleman pointed : " They just killed His Highness the Emperor and Her Highness the Empress over there . " I pushed myself free of the crowds and began walking in the direction that the gentleman had pointed . There were people standing there , directing the foot - traffic . They herded people into lines so that we could all see the headless royal bodies in an orderly fashion . The resulting line moved slowly forward . The body of the Crown Prince was wearing a tuxedo , but the headless Emperor was wearing a three - piece suit . The Empress was wearing a blouse and skirt , and on the side of the skirt , a Western designer 's name was written , but I didn 't find any of this strange at all . I instead wondered how odd it would be if the Emperor 's suit was also a Western designer label . I suddenly noticed something else : There were bits of colored paper near the Emperor 's headless body . I moved to pick one up and read it , but on closer inspection , the writing was bizarre diagrams , written with a traditional brush , in strokes that resembled writhing earthworms . It was incomprehensible . " What the hell , man ? What is this nonsense ? I can 't read a thing - who on Earth would write such things ? " I said to myself . " An Imperial death - poem , to be precise . Not something from the middle of His life - span , but written as He is about to lose His head . Truly a one - of - a - kind song , " he said , lowering his eyes . I had a realization then : if the Emperor has a song , the Empress must also have one , make no mistake ! I carefully checked around the headless body of Her Highness The Imperial Empress . As I suspected , I found more bits of colored paper . I picked them up , finding that they also had been written in incomprehensible script . Just as he was about to start reciting it , suddenly the crowd parted to make way for a very loud , agitated old lady . " Her Highness the Dowager Empress is coming ! The Queen Mother - she who gave birth to the Emperor , is coming ! " With a great noise , the crowd turned to look , and we beheld a woman , around 65 , wearing wonderful , elegant clothing . She had a wide forehead , a handsome face , and a tall , proud nose which gave her face a very determined look . A beautiful perm sat upon her elegant head , and a radiant string of pearls glittered around her neck . . . her long , snakelike , bloated and black neck ! She wore a gorgeous two - piece skirt , with , as one would expect , a Western brand - name written on the lapel . What I found odd about this was , by ' dangling - shit ' , I meant to imply , " Noble though you are , you poop just like the common people do . " Or maybe more like , " You 're the granny whose turds are especially runny and filthy , so therefore , when you take a shit , you really take a nasty fucking old granny shit ! " So , bearing that in mind , my " Dangling - shit granny ! " comment really meant , " This particular granny 's entire body is as polluted as feces , from her head to toes . " I often call people " Old - shit granny , " but I 've never used the " dangling - shit " version before ; it seemed too vulgar . And yet , I used it this time - why had I done such a shameful thing ? Also - the Dowager Empress ' reply ( " Who the fuck ? " , " Shitface brat ? " ) was slang from the Koushuu region . Did she speak that dialect fluently , I wondered , or did the Imperial Household only use Koushuu dialect for abuse ? Her accent and grammar were somewhat different from regular Koushuu people . But , since it was my dream , I couldn 't very well ask someone else who knew more about such things . I resolved to set aside the question for later . Meanwhile , since I had been called a " shitface brat , " I jumped at her in a fury . I seized her arm and twisted it behind her back . I screamed at her , " Who the fuck do YOU think YOU ' RE talking to , you DANGLING - SHIT GRANNY ? ! ? ! ? All your ' honor ' and ' splendor ' - it 's based upon nothing more than the money you stole from the people who work for a living ! " The Dowager Empress considered my words briefly , and then replied , " Who the fuck do you think you 're talking to , you shitface brat ? " And with a shriek , she clawed at my face . This made me even angrier , and with an " Ei ! ! ! ! ! " , I swept her feet out from under her , and flung her down . " Whattaya doin ' ? " she said , lying square on her back . ( I really sent her flying - I must be stronger than I 'd imagined ! ) Then , effortlessly , I flipped Her Highness the Dowager Empress over and put her in a Full Nelson . Her Highness flailed her arms wildly and tried to escape , but what I thought was odd was , I wasn 't even holding her that hard , yet she still could not break free despite her theatrical thrashing . ( If she had broken free , I would have looked foolish ! ) . At any rate , that 's what I was thinking about as she struggled . Then the gentleman next to me spoke again : " As I was saying , Her Majesty 's death song goes like this : Every stanza ended with the phrase " dampness , " or " soaking wet , " which was a metaphor for , what exactly ? What exactly was getting so wet ? Probably it merely meant dampness in general . But I couldn 't think too deeply about such things or else Her Highness the Dowager Empress would escape , which would be troublesome . So I continued to hold her fast while raising my eyes to inquire of the gentleman . He replied , " What is getting wet , you ask ? Well , clearly the author 's ambiguity is intentional . It 's her secret knowledge . If I had to explain simply , I 'd say it 's her tears . A sort of feeling of , ' Why are these terrible things happening to Us ? ' I 'd say . " As he explained , Her Highness the Dowager Empress continued to thrash about : " You motherfuckers ! Why were you even born ? ! ? We gave you life ! ! You owe us for everything ! ! " " What the fuck are you talking about , you dangling - shit granny ? ! ? Where 's your proof ? You guys are nothing but vampires , sucking our money ! We should be grateful to YOU ? " Her Highness the Dowager Empress cried out in a piercing wail , " The fuck are you talking about , you poopy - pants brat ? You 're forgetting about August fifteenth ! The Unconditional Surrender to America . If Hirohito hadn 't sacrificed himself , you all would have been killed ! You owe us ! " " You preposterous asshat ! " I thundered , raising my fist over my head . But before punching her , I felt that I needed a good exit line : " When the fucking war ended , your good - for - nothing son didn 't care about saving anyone but himself ! And the thing that saved his life ? He ratted out his friends ! He said the war wasn 't his fault because he was deceived by them . This fucking piece - of - shit kid of yours ! So whose fault WAS the war , then ? Prime Minister Yomeiuchi ? Okada ? Suzuki Kantarou ? ? ? " HAVING finished my speech , I aimed a punch squarely at Her Highness ' head , but - " Wahh ! " Before I could connect , I saw that Her Highness had a bald spot the size of a baseball square on top of her head ! The reason I yelled " Wahh ! " was , bald spots are my Achilles ' heel . Since I am going bald myself , seeing another balding person fills me with dread . When I see people who share my affliction , it seems that I am forced to sympathize with their pathetic condition . This thought , too , I put aside for further consideration when I woke up . But at the moment , the Dowager Empress was talking to me : " Wait ! You wouldn 't hit an old lady , would you ? " Suddenly a feeling of weakness overcame me . I said , " Hey ! If you behave yourself , we can try to talk this out , right ? Let 's all settle down . " So saying , I sat down cross - legged upon the ground . Her Highness sluggishly lifted herself to a sitting position as well . She seemed exhausted from her violent outburst , panting and attempting to fix her blouse , which was soaked with sweat . Next she tried to pat her hairdo into place with her wrinkled hands , while I just watched blankly . Then she began to talk to herself : " Huh ! Calm down ! These fucking poopy - pants brats are all up in Our royal grill , but the people love Us . No matter what happens , the people are grateful to Us , they 'll come along and save Us in the end . And the fuckers who dared strangle Us and call Us vampires , they 'll pay ! So just calm down . Huh ! " What ? ! ? That was supposed to be MY line , and yet she of all people said it first . ( her leeching off the working people , versus my role in today 's incident , only God can judge which is worse ) . But she 'd already said it , so there was nothing to do but grit my teeth in frustration . I resolved to counter with an equally philosophical rejoinder , such as " The Gods know all our sins ! " But instead , what came out was , " God is really really smart ! " Suddenly , my ears were assaulted by the return of the brass band , playing at deafening volume . " Amour , Amour , Amour , Miyo ! " ( " To love so much one would die for the sake of it " ) was the tune . I felt that " Kumbai Kumbai Chello " would have been a better choice , but since I was in a good mood , I said , " Well , what the heck . This song is fine also . " " It 's not a necklace , " he responded . It 's a Cultural Participation Medal . " This caused me to feel slightly ill . The gentleman raised a knowing eyebrow at me : I was in for another lecture . " I was invited to attend the Imperial Wedding Ceremony some time ago . Everyone so honoured received a Cultural Participation Medal . But now they 're all throwing them away . It seemed wasteful , so I 've been picking them up . " Then he turned and pointed at a spot across the Palace compound . " The Sacred Imperial Regalia have also been thrown away , and no one is even trying to save them . Wasteful ! " It was the old abnormal - knitting woman from the bus stop . As always , her yarn - balls were trailing yards behind her in the dirt . The old gentleman said , " This is the Crown Prince 's farewell song , " and began reading from another scrap of colored paper : And with that , he began interpreting the poems : " The spring fields represent the Crown Prince , whereas the fall evening represents Her Highness the Princess . The greens of spring and the silver gleam of the fall night stars - if you combine these colors , you obtain yellow , the color of mustard blossoms , which are the ' flower of Death . ' Her highness has given us this image , only to contrast it with the fall leaves , which symbolize aging and withering , and the white butterfly , whose hues symbolize an unawareness of aging or death . " I was very proud that I had understood much of what he said , and as soon as he finished speaking , I chimed in : " OK , I got it ! In other words , the poems put it in different ways , but basically , like , if two people are married , they often fight passionately . . . but later when they 're on their death - beds , they 'll see that the quarrels were done out of the passion of romance ! That 's the meaning of the farewell - songs , right ? " " Uh , " replied the old gentleman . " That 's a , um , a novel interpretation . But in this case perhaps one shouldn 't read quite so much into it . It 's just a song , after all , so one doesn 't need to attach such a heavy meaning to it . " If I must summarize it , the white butterfly which flits amid the summer mustard blossoms - it can face death with a happy heart because it knows nothing of withering and decay . And the Prince wishes to face death with the same grace and ease . That seems to be the meaning . As for the Crown Princess ' farewell song , her verse about " drinking in the reddish dusk of a spring evening , " refers to her sixteen - year - old daughter . Ah - I forget myself . The daughter is no longer sixteen . How quickly the years pass ! The second verse , " Nature has dyed the night sky / the colours of the autumn maple leaves , " could be taken to mean something like , " We , the Royal Family , in the course of a single evening , have aged immeasurably . " In the end , the Crown Prince wishes to communicate that he can die with no regrets , since his heart was in harmony with that of the Crown Princess . The flavor of these farewell songs is very deep and rich , as one might expect from such refined , graceful folk . " As the gentleman explained this to us , the crowd had erected more stalls and booths ( as one sees at traditional festivals ) , as well as a stage for performers . Singers and comedians walked past us , and before long the entertainment began : it seemed that the enemy had finally been defeated in Ginza . Suddenly , tyco drums began to pound , sounding like a rain of shells descending on us . As the drums ' echo receded , I stood dumbstruck . By the time I recovered my senses , I was surrounded by a throng of marching drummers . I was still reeling from this when another throng of musicians began to march , wrapped in their tubas as if they were being constricted by giant snakes . Behind them , a brass band - trumpets held aloft like a forest of golden cannons , lined up and prepared to march . Overhead , a blaze of color streaked the sky . " Ah , it 's the ' angel - fish ' fireworks ! " I realized . The sounds came from far away like the echo of a violent wind . " Oh , the ' Belle 's Ballad ' fireworks ! " I realized . The distant setting sun was dark yellow of the distant setting sun remained in the sky , while here the faint darkness of early evening was setting in . ( is it evening already ? I ought to be heading home ) Just then , a giant bonfire was lit directly next to us , sending a pillar of flame into the sky . The sparks fell all around us like a rain of countless leaves of fall trees . The gentleman beside me said , " There goes the fireworks , the famous ones . What were they called ? ' The Wind from the Fields to the Town ? ' And now this one ! How glorious ! You can 't see it well from here , but the fire - trails resemble the boughs of the weeping willow . " Soon the bonfire dwindled to embers . At that moment , the earth trembled as if in an earthquake ! Thunder echoed , and the entire sky was bathed in deep crimson , as the flaming sparkles drifted down to us . " Just now , that was the one they call ' four - direction cherry - blossom , ' " the old gentleman told me . No sooner had the firework faded in the sky , than a new one exploded , sending brilliant strings of light which fell all around us . " This one is , what 's it again ? Oh yes - the ' Crazed Lion ' . And this next one is ' The Thirty - three Pagodas . ' It 's a quick one ! " The old man began speaking faster and faster , until it all began to seem like a blur : ' the 3 , 333 Buddhas , ' ' the three - days - and - three - nights - of - arrows , ' and so on . By then I was no longer paying attention . The fireworks were beautiful , but I was thinking of other things . I felt a deep ache , as if I might collapse at any moment : " Ah ! I have no regrets . I could die now a happy man . " So I composed my own farewell - song : The meaning was , " I pray to the Gods for continuing good luck in war . This is not for me , but for my mother and father . My parents are no longer alive , so I don 't mind dying . " The old gentleman turned to me and said , " That song is from the famous ' Ten Thousand Leaves ' poem , wasn 't it ? Out loud , I said , " How thoughtless of me . Let me try again ! " I took a deep breath , preparing to recite my new masterpiece at top volume , when BANG ! I got shot in the head . What I found strange about this was , well actually , at the time , I didn 't find anything at all strange about it ! But in retrospect , what I found strange was this : In the dream , I was staring for a long time at the hole that the bullet punched in my own skull . The white brain fragments danced in front of my eyes - some moving , some quite still - just like the little long squiggles that one sees when one closes one 's eyes on a sunny day . Upon seeing the dancing white fragments , I thought , " Maggots ! My head must be really unclean ! " I peered sideways at them , not wanting to look too closely . At that moment I was struck ( as if by lightning ) with a powerful insight : I 'd always subconsciously associated the brain matter with maggots ! That 's why I was , in my dream , picturing maggots just now . Like the other insights , I also decided to set this one aside , for further consideration . " Ah , Mitsuhito ! I died in my dream , I think . " I grabbed him by the shoulders and said , " Tell me what I was screaming in my dream ! Tell me the exact words ! " And with that , my eyes finally opened for real - just in time to hear the elaborate chimes of the Westminster grandfather clock begin the prelude to the clanging of the hour . As the prelude finished , the temples around our house began ringing their own bells : BENG , BENG ! So it was two o ' clock . I turned to the bedside table on which my wrist - watch lay , and , attempting to take it by surprise , quickly strapped it to my wrist . The hands stood at exactly two o ' clock . ( Ah ! So , since I was awake in my dream , the watch must have been awake as well , I thought ) . Realizing this , I was overjoyed to the brink of tears , and lovingly embraced the wrist - watch . . 20 comments Tags : emperor , revolution , uyoku - 20 Comments so far Daniel March 27th , 2010 6 : 40 am Cool stuff . Where did you get your copy for translation ? It 's not for regular sale , correct ? Monty March 28th , 2010 7 : 50 am I like that you 're challenging the taboo and doing it with the full knowledge that your site gets read by a lot of people , and potentially even more when stories like the V - kei thing get cross posted across the world . Also , if you end up opening a noodle shop that 's not so bad either . Everyone needs noodles . Not so much the stabbing thing , though . This is the type of stuff that makes TDR the best blog about Japan I know of . After reading dozens of fawning - over - Japanese - culture weeaboo blogs & another dozen " Those kooky Japanese ! " blogs , TDR is such a breath of fresh air . TDR hits the voice that no one else does : INFORMED Contempt of Japanese Culture . @ szashza : thanks . but the juxtaposition of formal japanese and vulgar japanese is in the original - it 's not me messing around . In fact probably a perfect English translation would be even MORE so - see - sawing back and forth . T . S . B . Voidmare March 31st , 2010 6 : 41 am Hey man , I have a gag manga I want to show called Umezonian by Demerin Kaneko which features the entire Imperial family in several scenes . Although they aren 't flicking boogers or shitting themselves , just drawing them was pretty ballsy on her part . AnokPanda March 31st , 2010 7 : 28 pm I find it hard to place a meaning that isn 't perverted by my own perspectives on , and prejudices of , Japanese culture and history . Although I feel knowledgeable about plenty of aspects of Japanese culture , I believe the extremely Japanese nature of the sentiments make any conclusion I draw , come out unbelievably skewed to the point of offensively retarded . But I will say , I think the authors intentions and allegiance lies somewhere in the middle ( which sounds indecisive and douchey on my part ) , or maybe he 's saying the masses of Japan are " in the middle " and easily swayed . I think somewhere in there he 's saying that one is Japanese no matter what one does , or weather or not they want to be . where Herbert Bix ( author of a rad biography of Hirohito ) says that Furyu Mutan 's meaning is , Japanese people forgive the emperor for his part in the war because it makes it easier for them ( the average people ) to forgive themselves for their own part in the war . He points to the stopped watch and - improbably - the bald spots - as metaphors for this . But he seems to miss the humor of the story , so I take his interpretation with a grain of salt . T . S . B . Voidmare April 1st , 2010 6 : 49 am I am an idiot , the comic 's name is Umezology ( ウメゾロジ ) ! Oops admin April 8th , 2010 2 : 55 am @ kakanian - with - the - german - email - address : and if I was in Der Vaterland , what would I write about ? Football players hitting turks with pretzels ? ? ? Plus , " thoreauan hermits ? " is that the best you could do for america ? After all the crappy subcultures we 've dropped on the world ? And you come to my page and write about me like I 'm not here ? " He does this he does that . " I 'm IN THE ROOM , HANS . I mean , damn . I 'm not going to take any attitude from a damn German . You guys are so wack , you host the World Breakdancing Championship every year AND HAVE NEVER WON IT . Not like I care about that stuff . What happened in Japan happened everywhere else too - it mutated into strange new forms . I just sorta found it funny how many kooks name Thoreau as their spiritual guide and how everyone thinks that 's awesome … from Beats to violent Anarchists who would not mind killing 2 / 3 of humanity to rather flat " special " youth novel characters . Tokyo Damage Report » What is SEVENTEEN ? June 15th , 2010 6 : 10 pm [ … ] pleasure . Let me back up a second : Last year , I posted my translation of Furyuu Mutan ( The Dream Of An Elegant Family ) , a Japanese short - story from 1960 that it set off a huge shit - storm [ … ] François : Hi Steven , Been a while I haven 't read you . It 's still as much a blast as ever . And spot on . I . . .
|
Just past midlife , exploring radical faith , trying to be as honest as I can about the things that matter . To me . Justice , good food , learning , mercy , biking , faith , hot soup and bread , integrity , watching people grow and change , knitting with natural fibers , sunflowers in September . . . Phyllis is an academic who studies the history of religious movements . She is incredibly knowledgeable about the many many forms of church and each version 's strengths and weaknesses . She also immerses herself in prayer and has compiled my favorite trio of prayer books , The Divine Hours . Part of the fun of this interview is the great depth that each person gave to the discussion . There was still the idealism that must have been present in their youth tempered with the realism and disappointment that comes with age and seasoned with hope that flows from deep faith . The entire interview sparkled with insight and wisdom but two nuggets especially caught my attention , and continue to inform my thoughts throughout my days . This is such powerful truth , and it is what every generation of young people desire as they begin to work out their own faith . I went through that longing too , the desire that the church be real and involved in every aspect of life , and not just a set of beliefs we feel great about but don 't live out . As long as the church exists it will have hypocrisy , and it will have prophetic voices that call us away from that hypocrisy . Which brings me to Vincent Harding . I was so moved by the faithfulness and mercy and grace of Vincent Harding . Being over 80 , he has lived his entire life immersed in the struggle for equality . Being an African American , there was no stepping away from the struggle for a minute or a month . His life has been shadowed by inequality every minute of every day . This reality is what makes his words so very powerful . It is what makes them important enough to sit at the computer and transcribe them , a few words at a time , listening again and again to get it right . It is what makes those words echo throughout my daily activities . Here is what he had to say : society that is built on really loving concern for each other , a multi - racial society , a compassionate , peaceloving , and peacemaking society . We 've only said that to each other in a large way for about 50 years . So we 've got 50 going up against 300 . And I think it is terribly important to keep saying to ourselves , We have work to do . We have work that is not impossible , but only possible when people recognize the work and recognize the time span in which we are living , and recognize that we are basically still learning . We are , where multiracial democracy is concerned , we are a developing nation . We are not experts . We do not know what multiracial democracy really means , as we can see just by looking around us . Therefore we come together in a different kind of spirit - - - the spirit of seekers , the spirit of learners , the spirit of supporting each other , and I think that a church that emerges in that kind of spirit , with that kind of consciousness , with that kind of agenda will have different future than a church which does not . " Last May I wrote this post about my depression . Those of you who commented were kind and supportive . So many others whom I meet regularly were helpful , understanding , sharing of their own stories and respectful of the ways our stories were the same and different . And now it 's over . I feel happy . I have energy . I have too many things I 'd love to do instead of no motivation . I 'm off the meds and finished for now with therapy . I want to thank those of you who know me for your kindnesses . I 've been humbled by all the grace I was offered when I was doing less than my share and letting go of things I usually take care of . I don 't know why this depression has ended so quickly . I did some of the things I knew I could do to help , like asking for help , getting therapy , taking meds . . . I tried to learn to set boundaries to protect my emotional health . I worked at loving myself more and blaming myself less , and at trying to see how deeply God loves me , with my strengths as well as my failures . I guess what I am trying to say is that I 'm glad it 's over , and I love feeling happy and motivated again , but I don 't want to imply that there are simple tricks that everyone can do to end their depression . Depression is more complicated than that . People are more complicated than that . A couple of weeks ago I received an email from my friend , Linda , about a gathering she attended at the care home where her aging mother lives . Linda 's mother , Viola , was the lead teacher of the Beginner 's class for years and years . She was one of those teachers who rarely took Sundays off , so the children had a familiar face present every Sunday . She was gentle and kind . So many children learned to love Sunday School while they were in her class . They began to glimpse the love God has for them by seeing it in her eyes . Viola also directed Summer Vacation Bible School for many years . She did this back when our Bible School was two weeks long . I remember being dismayed when she retired from that responsibility , thinking that no one else would know how to do Bible School . She was the organizer , but she was also the kind face and loving attention giver to those children who found themselves too restless to be able to manage a whole morning in Bible School . They would accompany her in her tasks and still be learning , albeit a different , and maybe more important lesson . No matter how they behaved , they were loved and respected and valued . Viola is now 96 years old . She has become forgetful , and communication is difficult for her . It has been quite a while since she has attended church . Her children visit her often and bring along items to help her remember happy times . They bring her beloved cat . She shows her emotions , but coherent sentences are more and more difficult . This is what Linda wrote in her email : She talked about teaching children . It mostly made sense , though it was not entirely connected . She talked for several minutes . Everyone was quiet , and I think quite amazed . She started out saying that when teaching children you need to let them do things themselves . It might be easier to do things for them , but it 's important to let them do it themselves . Then she went on to say that children do listen to their teachers , and that it 's important to have different people teaching so that they hear from more than one person . Her speech was kind of slow , and I thought she would stop a couple of times and then she kept going . Afterwards various people asked her questions about how long she taught children at FMC , etc . She didn 't know the answers , so I helped with some estimating . I love this story . It has been so long since Viola taught that Beginner 's class , and we who are older and have attended since we were children are the only ones who remember her contribution to our lives . Yet the things that have been important to her throughout her life came to her clearly . Such a holy moment . I 've been memorizing Psalm 103 . Much of it is about the goodness of God , the forgiveness and mercy and compassion God offers us . There is also a part about people . Attending the church I grew up in has offered me a unique perspective . I remember so many people who were vital and important to our church , ' flourishing like flowers in the field ' , making us beautiful and fruitful , offering their wisdom and direction , and sometimes also their faults and their dissensions . But now , the wind has blown over them and they are gone . . . so many are gone . . . and so few that are still here , where their place was , remember them . That is as it should be , I know . If we spent all our time trying to keep memories alive of people we 've lost , we would not do the important things that are there for us to do . But still - - - Viola 's work has shaped me , and I am shaping others because of her . Though many have forgotten her name , her wisdom and her faith and her heart live on in us . And because of what she said the other day , I 'm reminded again of important things as I teach children . And so with each of us . We all want to have contributed something lasting , that will go on when we cease to be . Some of us may make it into history books . Most of us won 't . But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord 's love is with us . We are remembered , and not only remembered , but loved . It is good . There is a difference between birth and adoption . A birth child comes into my life knowing my smell , my voice , my music , my daily rhythms . A birth child comes into my life believing that she is one with me . . . recognizing no separation until about the age of nine months . My body was in sync with my baby 's body so that I woke seconds before she did , and she didn 't need to cry to wake me up . There was deep and ancient chemistry there . An adopted child comes into my life grieving for that mother whose smell is familiar , whose voice is familiar , whose music is now missing , whose daily rhythms are a thing of the past . I am not the mom he wants . I am a stranger and he doesn 't really know or understand why I 'm caring for him instead of his mother . He thinks it may be my fault he isn 't with the mother he misses , the mother who is a part of him . He wanted to be able to stay with the mom he had , just like all the kids he knows . Our children came to us through foster care , so that is a different route than most adoptions . It implies an assumption that the primary goal is to reunite children with parents . So I wrote letters to my children 's mothers until their parental rights were severed . I wanted them to know the words their children had learned , the things they had done , what they struggled with , how they triumphed . For the foster kids that returned home , that connection was crucial . It may have helped in their mothers ' sense of hope and resolve to have their children come back home . I also fostered within myself an awareness that these were mothers who cared about their children , even if they were unable to provide a safe place for them to live . People are never simply bad or good . Parents who showed neglect may have been neglected themselves . They still have a strong emotional connection with their children . Parents who discipline in abusive ways may not have the supports they need . And most abusive parents love their children , although it is perhaps a damaging kind of love . And their children love them . Maybe that underlying awareness made things harder for my adopted kids . I definitely had a sense that I was raising someone else 's children . Sometimes that was a respectful awareness that I wanted to do as good a job as possible so that I could someday be proud to show that mom it was OK , their child had been OK . Sometimes it was an angry awareness . Sometimes I wanted to erase all the hurt and grief and loss in my child and just be able to be the mom , the only mom , because things weren 't OK and I didn 't know what to do about it . And so we danced the adoption dance . I was the substitute mother . I was also the real mother but not the only real mother . I was the mother who had the privilege of seeing the innocence on their sleeping faces . I was the mother who cleaned and cooked and guided and wiped noses and bottoms and vomit . I bought the Christmas presents and baked the birthday cakes and went to the parent teacher conferences . I did the worrying and the therapy and read the parenting books , the many many parenting books . I sat through the rages that were so much more intense because of that longing inside them to have their first home be the home where they were safe . I was not the mother who wondered every day whether their child was OK or happy or safe , or maybe even alive . I was not the mother who grieved on birthdays and holidays . I was not the mother who prayed to someday see my child again . One question that came up repeatedly while they were growing up was whether I loved my adopted kids as much as my birth kids . How do you measure love ? Is it by warm feelings ? Is love something you feel ? Is it something you do ? Can you put a quantity on love ? Sometimes when I am angry with my husband , he asks if I still love him . YES ! YES ! I am here ! I am willing to go through anger and hurt and contrition and forgiveness . Anger doesn 't mean I 'm out . It may mean that I don 't feel warm or affectionate , but I choose to love him . I choose him . Maybe love is greater when you know it is a choice as well as a feeling . I don 't know . I don 't think you can measure love . Honesty requires me to admit that feeling warmth and affection was harder when my children pushed me away . . . even though I knew that they did it because they had suffered so many losses . I remember times when those losses would fade and we would have happy times and laughter , or tears and vulnerability between us . . . the warmth and affection that accompanied those times were instantaneous and overwhelmingly strong . In those times I knew that I loved them by choice and by emotion . It was so easy to feel warm when the tension would ease a bit . So what is adoption ? I don 't know . It is a complicated relationship , different for every child and every parent . It is wonderful and terrible and scary and humbling and miraculous and full of failure and forgiveness and redemption , when we offer it humbly to God for healing . The Bible says we are all adopted by God , and there are similarities to our experiences . We are loved with an everlasting love , greater than the distance between heaven and earth , so great that God allowed his only begotten son to die for us . That is a pretty big love . Huge . At the same time , do I think God feels the same way about me as about Jesus ? Does it matter ? If I am loved with an everlasting love greater than the distance between heaven and earth , is that not enough ? But . . . I don 't have some other god who used to love me , whom I used to live with , and whom I miss . That part is different than human adoption . This God I love is the only God I 've ever had . Or is that true ? Before we choose God , what are we choosing ? Is it something we miss or long for sometimes after choosing our adoption with God ? Possibly . But those are thoughts for another post , I think . At any rate , it seems important to speak the truth , because it is the truth that sets us free . I am free to love my children better if I am truthful that they are my children and they are not my children . I also need to be truthful about their choices as adults . They do not owe me . They are free to choose relationship with me or not . That adulthood piece is a bit like driving blind for me right now . I don 't know how much to initiate contact and how much to allow space . I do not want to compete with their loyalty to their first families in any way . I don 't want them to feel abandoned by me . I wish for a healed relationship with them , and I wish for them to have healed relationships with their birth families . Posted by This post is not for pity . It is partly because I need to write , in order to sort things out and it is partly to be open . Depression should be something people can talk about . Things that are hidden get too much power , and this doesn 't need power . It 's strong enough already . These are the kind of thoughts that tell me that I really should be vacuuming instead of taking a walk , or washing dishes instead of vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom sink instead of washing dishes or I should be getting some exercise or having devotions or helping someone or practicing mindfulness or anything but what I am actually doing . . . until I want to not do anything at all because no matter what I do it won 't be enough . So maybe I should just sleep , but then I would be lazy . But who am I kidding ? Look at this place ! It 's obvious I am lazy so what difference does it make ? And not only that , but I don 't really do anything well . I 'm not a good mom or a good spouse or a good daughter or a good Christian or a good friend and there are all these lists of things I did wrong that back up those assessments . I married well . On a bad day when I 've given in to the ' sleep all morning ' demon , Chuck comes in and gives me a hug and I feel loved instead of judged and I want to get up and do something to be worthy of that love . Except he will love me whether I 'm worthy or not . Which is such a gift . I 'm trying to practice some healthier ways of being . Tell myself the truth as much as I can . Every person , good or not , makes mistakes and the mistakes are not what defines them . I am a flawed person , as is every other person . That doesn 't excuse the flaws , or allow me to cling to them . It does allow me to quit kicking myself about them so hard . Using my gifts helps , even though right now it isn 't something I feel like doing . After I go ahead , I feel better and grateful that I made myself do it . Teaching Sunday School is one example . I pretty much always feel good after teaching . I need to practice staying in the moment . Compassion meditation has become a form of prayer that seems more accessible right now . Depression for me also involves a spiritual component . In the past , depression was part of a struggle to keep God in the box that was comfortable for me . So there are ways that I 'm wrestling with God , right now , but I 'm OK with that . I think God would rather have a fight than a fake relationship . Through my own faith and especially through the words and kindness of others , I 'm finding God quite filled with gentleness as we break down the walls of the current box I want God to stay in . I want to be sure that it 's clear that depression is different for different people , and that a moderate depression is different than a severe depression . Many of the things I am doing to become more healthy would be good for anyone to do . At the same time , becoming severely depressed does not mean that a person has been doing all of these things wrong . It also doesn 't mean that if they would try these things they would automatically feel better or become healthy . These are good things to do . But depression involves chemistry and genetics as well as behavior and behavior is very important , but not the only important thing . I 'm not writing this so that people can judge someone else who struggles . That 's enough for right now . As I said before , I 'm writing this as an effort to be honest , but not so that anyone will feel sorry for me or take responsibility to make me feel better . That is my job , and I 'm doing it , one day at a time . Early in March in my Sunday School class , we were beginning a new quarter . I teach fifth grade . Usually when we begin a new quarter I completely redecorate the room with new bulletin boards and posters , etc . But my week had been unusually busy . There was illness and snow and family crises . I decided that it was OK not to do all that . In fact it might be good . I wrote out the briefest outline of a class plan . This class no longer wants to be babied . They are ready to explore the Bible on their own terms . I thought we might try a simplified Lectio Divina approach to the scripture . We would look at the story together , and we would share with each other the things that God was helping us to notice about it . I went to bed exhausted on Saturday night . Didn 't sleep much . Woke up drained and tense . Thought about whether I was fit to teach . Remembered that nearly always , being with the kids changes me . As kids started to arrive I told them that I decided to let them decide how we wanted to decorate the class . I had maps . I had memory work posters . Did they want to get rid of everything from the last quarter ? Were there projects that they still wanted to keep ? Everyone got busy , and it was fun figuring out what to put where . My preparations for teaching usually include making an assignment for them to complete during the week . I 'd not had time to do that either , so I had blank pieces of paper . " What should our assignment be this week ? " It was agreed . Everyone was to find a way to give that week . It could be money or time or caring . Be creative . Write down what happened . A week later , our story was the story of the Triumphal entry into Jerusalem . When we 'd completed our usual preliminary activities we moved our chairs into a circle and I explained that today we are having a story that we 've all heard many times before . It 's tempting when we have a story like that to quit listening because we already know the story . But with the Bible , there can be new lessons to learn every time we read it . We are older . We might see things in new ways , or hear something that makes sense in a different way . So we are going to read the story again , even though we 've read it many times before . Chocolate . The light of a nearly full moon on a snow covered yard . My family . My small group . Luke 's head on my shoulder while we read It 's time to give an accounting for my goals for last year . I made one major goal in January , to ask myself a question daily . What am I doing to work toward God 's kingdom coming and God 's will being done on earth today ? In the case of computer games , I successfully stayed away from computer solitaire with the exception of a day last month when I relapsed for several hours . During the rest of the year I allowed myself one game of sudoku on paper from the weekend paper every Saturday . I plan to continue this , now that it is a habit . In the case of asking the question daily , I don 't know if I did that or not . It is so frequently a part of my thinking , and I may have thought about it every day , but I don 't think I was intentional . . . as in really seriously looking at my activities to see if that day was lining up with kingdom values or not . This sounds so heavy , and that really isn 't my goal . I find that when I 'm lining up my actions with my values . . . or with the values of God 's kingdom , life often gets less heavy . A small example is my kitchen . When my kitchen is a mess , the heavy thing seems to be to clean it , even though cleaning messes would seem like a kingdom thing to do . Sometimes I leave it till another day . Sometimes I clean it . When I leave it for another day , the reason for the leaving it becomes important . If I leave it so that I can read a story to my grandsons , or have a meaningful conversation , or make a phone call . . . it isn 't heavy and I get it done later . I 'm grateful for the stories and the relationships that are growing . I love the interactions . My life feels fuller and richer . When I leave it because I don 't want to do it right now and I 'd rather read or knit or check out the news stories on NPR . org , it 's heavy . It looms over me until I get it done . I hate the room . I don 't want to cook . I don 't want to clean . I don 't even want to put away the dishes that are already clean . When I finally get to it , even the process of doing it is a lightening of my mood . I hear myself singing . And when it is done ( and you have to understand that for me it is done when it is ' good enough ' and not when it is ' perfect ' ) , I love being in there . I look forward to cooking . I want to light a candle and enjoy that space . What I anticipate as drudgery ends up being life giving when it is lined up with Kingdom goals . I wish I 'd asked the question more often in an in the moment , " what action should I take right now " kind of way . One major choice that I made in September was to begin attending Iglesia Casa Betania with Chuck . Casa Betania is a Spanish speaking church that meets in the basement of our church building . Chuck has been attending as often as he can for a couple of years . He has had a long interest in learning Spanish , has worked hard to become more proficient at it , and loves the way faith is expressed among this gathering of believers . A couple of years ago we had one of our nights out that ended up being a very long walk / talk about where our lives are headed . There was discussion about what each of us wanted to pursue , what was no longer life giving , how to look at those things in light of our faith and where God was leading . I remember Chuck talking at length about his desire to learn Spanish and his enjoyment of Iglesia Casa Betania . At the time we both agreed that this strong interest could be God given , leading him into new things that we couldn 't yet see , and that he should follow it . I have not joined him in that until now . He always invited but I held back . I like to be fully involved in the faith community I attend , and I found that when I attended with Chuck I felt torn by my desire to know what was happening in our church upstairs on one hand , and on the other hand feeling that I was not giving as much as I could be to Casa Betania . How many places could I be fully invested ? But this year of often asking the question changed things for me . It came to a decision point in September , when I was asked to serve on a commission in our upstairs church . I prayed about this decision . It was a job I 'd done before and I already knew the ropes . Yet , it just didn 't feel right . When my last term was up on this commission , I 'd felt a strong pull to get involved in something outside of our church body , something God was doing or calling me to . Now I 'd been off the commission for two years and still had not found this thing to be involved in . It wasn 't for lack of looking . I thought the homeless shelter might be a possible spot , but every time it was our church 's turn to volunteer there a real conflict would occur . Not just an excuse . A real family emergency or work related commitment would appear . It happened too many times . Then I took the training for Circles of Hope , a support structure for persons working toward getting out of poverty . The training was wonderful , but the Circles of Hope support groups always meet on a night I rarely have open . As I prayed about this commission assignment I remembered reading that it is important to look for what God is already doing and then join it . I 'd tried with the shelter and with Circles , but I 'd not tried with the thing God was doing in Chuck . Starting in September , I 've committed to attending Iglesia Casa Betania whenever I can for a year . They meet at least twice a week , and we make it to about half of the meetings . My Spanish is not great but it is slowly improving . I am learning tons just by being in a completely different type of church experience . I 'm gradually getting to know people of deep faith and commitment . I 'll try to write more about that in another post . I was raised well by parents who have become my friends as well as my heroes , with siblings I learn from and admire . I married young to a good man , had four children , fostered several more and adopted three of them . We homeschooled all of them at one point or another but currently they are all grown up and living on their own . We have farmed nearly all our married life and are exploring more humane and ecological methods of farming . I 'm now very involved with our grandchildren , and training our goldendoodle .
|
I entered the room , a junior suite in this hotel . The hotel employee put my stuff in the room . On my right was a " bar " . Medium sized bottles of every famous spirit you can think of . I opened the refrigerator . Beers and drinks . Small sized bottles of every spirit you can think of . BOOZE . These are goodies our youth drives to every weekend . LOL . I don 't drink though . Don 't like losing my mind for anything . Especially a liquid that will do nothing great for me . Plus , why do something that will work against me , both mentally and spiritually ? Na . . Then the man took out a piece of paper and wrote down a list of room numbers and handed it to me . I asked him what this was . He said " There is Arab , Russian , Romanian , Turkish and Bosnian girls in these rooms . You just call , and they will come . 50 BD for one time . 100 BD for an hour . 300 BD for all night . If you want more drinks , I will get for you sir . " . . and he left . This was one of those rare trips I made alone . I never leave without my family . Mainly because I miss them so much that I cannot sleep at night . But , this was a short , work trip and I had no time for family - so I drove to Bahrain alone . I chose a cheap hotel because I was not in the " resort " or " luxury " mode . I was in a " Get it done and leave " mode . I sat down on the sofa . Switched on the TV . Lit a cigarette . Ordered some coffee . And , I looked at that list . My mind drifted into the past . To Cyprus . When I was a student . When I was single . When a single smile from a beautiful girl made me and my friends sing songs all evening and look stupid . When , we were simple and pure . When , more than sex - being a HERO was important . When , we did stunts like jumping over huge barrels . Driving fast cars . Racing . Fighting . Being tough . Now , let me tell you . I was never a very dedicated student . If I looked serious and focused in a class , it was because I liked the subject and the teacher was good . Otherwise , I never cared for grades , degrees and the drama that comes with it . But , yes , I could study a NIGHT before an exam and get a B at least and get rid of the pressure of family and friends . " YOU MUST STUDY " . . One such night , me and my 3 friends were studying for a DAMN BORING course : Economics 102 . What a pain that course was ! We sat there studying . Talking . Joking . Laughing . Then studying again . We got hungry . We all decided that I will go and buy us " Submarines " . . a very delicious cheese sandwich . I was more than happy to leave . I got in my car and drove off to Eleftheria Square . The downtown of Nicosia . I wanted to buy smokes also . So , I drove into the old city where there was a 100 - year - old mosque . The only Mosque in Nicosia . Right behind the Mosque was the Red Light Area . Cheap and quick service area where the low lives of Nicosia went for low - level , perverted pleasures . Middle aged women sat with doors open , selling themselves for 10 - 20 pounds . I drove in . Doors open on my right and left . Some ugly faces , some old women . . and some were beautiful to be very honest . I drove to the end of the road . Parked and got out to go buy my stuff . I had a Diahatsu Charment . Nothing was automatic in the car . I parked on the right side of the road , where the Right side " shops " had ended . On my left was the last " door " of that road . A lady sat on a chair , smoking and looking at me . Probably thinking that a customer had arrived and he wanted to get something from the Kiosk before he engaged her . Much to her dismay , I bought what I needed and headed back to my car . At the time , that is how I saw it . I had done this before , and I knew I could open the door with a wire or a screwdriver . But , apart from the Perverts of society , Police used to patrol this road also and if they saw me sticking something inside the door of a locked car at this time of the night on this street , they WOULD stop and question me . And , I did not want that hassle . So , I thought I would wait for them for a while and let THEM resolve this issue for me . They could open the car . Cypriot police are very helpful to people . Just don 't let them catch you doing something wrong . Or even , something that looks wrong . " What is wrong ? " , she shouted . I was ignoring her so far . And , I knew she would give a shot to her marketing strategy . And , I thought this was it . But , HEY ! I was about to do the Economics 102 exam the next day . I had been dealing with the Professor from Hell , this was nothing . We had no mobile phones back then ( 1991 ) . And , this was kind of her . So , I said . . yes , please do call them . She called . Hung up . " They will pass by soon " , she smiled at me . She put a chair near hers . There was a heater there . Made some coffee . And , at that moment . . there was no better place to sit . . so I sat there . Nice coffee , warm place . Nevertheless , a Prostitutes place . We sat right outside her door on the street . Cars passed . Bikes passed . I looked at her , she did not care . I told her that she was losing customers because of me , and I was of no benefit to her . She smiled and said " You need help right now , customers are not important . Helping you is . It is cold and your mother will be so sad if you got sick , right ? " . . . this really touched me . " You know . . if you got all the prostitutes of the world in one place and asked them all who prefers to be in this business , maybe only 2 or 3 will say they do it because they like it . The rest do it either because they want drugs , or money for their kids and family . And , yes , some are forced into this by their own men . I have 4 kids . I am uneducated . My husband left me with my kids one day and I have not seen him since . For the first time in my life I went to work in a factory - I was almost raped several times . No one will educate me for free and I do not have time to study and get a better job . I have kids to look after . Honestly , I was left with no choice but this . I went to the Church , I got nothing . I went to every door I could knock on . . and look . . here I am . Doing this . At least , I can take care of my family and no one is my boss . I saw you drive here and the first thing that came to my mind was . . Oh God ! Why is this boy wasting his life in these streets ? He should be home . Then I saw you get off to go to the Kiosk . I was happy . You were not interested in me or the other women here . Then , when I saw you had a problem and you were stuck , I thought of your mother . She must be worried about you . So , I offered to help . Then , I saw you were cold , so I made you coffee and offered you to sit near the heater " . . " Do you want to call your mommy and tell her you are ok ? Just don 't tell her you are on this road . Tell her your key is in the car and soon you will come . You know , my son is almost 15 ″ . . I was 21 then . " I am not Cypriot . I am a student here . My mother is in Saudi Arabia . She is not worried about this night , She is worried all the time " . . I said . . smiling slightly . I told him . He smiled and said , Why did you not just use a wire and open the door . She stepped in . " He did not because he did not want trouble from you guys ! " . . " No , I will pass by sometimes to have coffee with you . You make this street look good ! And who knows , Maybe I will help you get a better job " She smiled . . and her eyes said : Yes , I want that . I wish that . Thank you for even thinking of getting me out of here ! I drove off . Weeping like a child . In her talk , I saw the pain in her eyes . The agony . The frustration . The broken dreams . The responsibility of her children . Their education . The Bills . A family . A lonely , battered and broken woman forced to sell what no decent women would even want to show to a stranger ! . . What PAIN ! My biggest disappointment was my own ignorance . How could I EVER look down on someone ? Someone so full of pain , yet willing to go out of her way to help someone ! I got busy with life . Finishing off the degree , getting my first job and then finally opened my first consulting firm in Nicosia . But I never forgot Christina . One day , when I made my first GOOD profit , I did go to see her . I had money . I would get her out of it I thought . But , when I got there . Her door was locked . Gone . Maybe to another city . Another life . . or away from this life . . A prostitute that helped me for free , out of goodness . As a human being . If you ever think of " Buying " a woman for the night . . know that she is someone 's daughter , sister and mother . She too cries . . feels pain . She too has dreams . She too wants to live a clean life . The only way you can stop this dirty business is by not contributing to it . Marry . Marry 1 , 2 , 3 or four . But , please do not take advantage of someone 's poverty and need for money . Do not ever do that . This entry was posted in Advice . Bookmark the permalink . 40 thoughts on " The Prostitute : A Story " Noor says : February 4 , 2011 at 11 : 14 am Speechless . Reply cloud nine says : March 6 , 2011 at 5 : 35 am Just stumbled on your blog today and i am happy i did that . My heart goes out to women like Christina . Good post . Please keep up the fire : ) Reply ali says : March 6 , 2011 at 9 : 58 am Thank you very much . Reply Uma says : October 29 , 2013 at 10 : 54 am Nice blog … They too have hearts . . But some of us not ( the persons who sell them ) … . real … Reading this its get deep in to my heart , and you are really lucky guy who have seen such incidence in life . This will teach lot in our life for better society . Try to find her and help he if possible . I will always support . You are right about women who is working as - - - , but ot be honest you would hardly find men , respection woman . your family thought you to respect people , but other would just think she wants money , I have use to chat with a girl who worked and was forced by her boss , saying she would loose her job if she didn 't do what he wanted and why should I lie i was also asked number of time from a Shaikh and business man but alhamdullah I did took care of my self by leaving the job and my japanese boss respected me for that and kept me working for his company . If you want to see many are promised to come down in middle east and work , but are forced in this business . God bless you Many men say they love a girl but Infact most of them want to fulfill their lust n argue back defending themself 's why dint u stop me ? You should 've have stopped if u didn 't like . Fact a men wil never understand is , that a girl always Luks for a men , who by himself realizes that he shldnt misbehave with her but not stop misbehaving when she asks him to . Bcoz she loves him so much that she gets hurt inside still let him get what he wants . Very few men care n respect a girl 's feelings . Reason I 'm saying all this bcoz I felt you are very good that u rolled tears for a prostitute n felt sorry for judging her … . There r bunch of men who wouldn 't care for a girl who loves n trusts them … but jus use them for entertainment . Everyone should realize that women r not a tool for entertainment . They should be treated with respect . Situations put people in weird circumstances , so one shldnt judge anyone . Reply Jowhara says : March 10 , 2014 at 12 : 31 am This story touched my heart and renewed my faith in Muslim men . I was a prostitute for many years mainly because i was so messed up after being gang raped as a virgin at 16 years old by three Muslim men who spat on me and called me Kafir ( which at the time I didn 't understand . ) I spent many years working as an escort and in hostess clubs and met many many Arab men who paid a lot of money to use my body . Eventually after being raped again and almost killed by a client I was so in need of God that I went to the nearest church where the Priest suggested I should leave as I was dressed too sexy and as I was Church of England not Catholic . When I stood up I noticed I had knelt and prayed under the image of Mary Magdalene washing Jesu 's ' feet . This for me was a huge sign and started me on a journey to re discover God , which resulted in my studying different religions including Islam . After several years as a devoted and practicing Muslim , I learnt Arabc and married a Muslim man , who left me when his family caused him too many problems . I then met another one and married him too , and had a child , a little girl who is now 7 . He too divorced me when I was pregnant as he said our marriage was mainly for sex ( halal sex ) and his main wife would not accept it . I became very sick , and had to leave and return to London as I ould not afford health care in the Middle East as I could no longer work and he was not paying any maintenance . Once back home in London I became more sick , and eventually had a mental breakdown as my eldest daughter ( who was then 17 ) , was thinking of becoming an Escort girl to help with money and to help me to bring up her little sister . This wa too much for me , so I thought maybe it would be better to do it myself , and so i went out to a 5 * hotel with the intention of meeting a rich Arab ( as I had done in the past ) better me than my child was my thought . In the end I couldn 't go through with it , and also couldn 't face the situation at home so I lost grip on reality and was eventually sectioned and placed in a Mental institution . My eldest daughter was put in a hostel by Social Services where she met prostitutes and drug dealers and my youngest daughter was taken away by social workers . They eventually contacted her father and went to meet him , told him all about my past life , which he never knew and then said he could not have his daughter as she did not know him . For almost a year she was kept away from me while my lawyers faught to get her back and thank God I won . Even though I won and the judge gave back custody Social Services would not leave us alone . Also , my eldest daughter became pregnant and they even threatened to take her child at birth if she allowed me to be alone with it . now thank God she is OK as the father ( A good man , but a Catholic has stood by her and she now has a job and they are fine although she is very mixed up about her faith . Social workers continued to insist on being involved in our lives , and kept trying to re open the case as they were not happy with the verdict . The stress was making me worse still and my little girl was traumatized and so eventually I left to Italy where I now live and teach English & French . I am still very sick with diabetes and last year I had two heart attacks so working is very tiring and not easy but I have no choice . For around two years now my daughter 's father has been paying 200 euros monthly which is not really much , but he says he can not afford more so why bother to insist as for 5 years he paid nothing at all . He has still not seen her since we left when she was 18 months and does not call her . She cries for him almost daily . I have somewhat lost my way with my religion and do not practice as strongly and dedicated as I should . My daughter attends a Catholic school ( only one school here ) and although I try to teach her as best as I can about Islam it is hard . I excluded her from religion classes at school , but she keeps asking to attend with her class mates and asks to go to church . God help me as my faith remains as strong as before but I feel so isolated and alone . I can 't write any more as I am crying now . It takes a very strong and devout man to marry more than one wife and do so in the right way . Also , it is very hard to be a covert all alone . This should not be the case I guess but in my experience it is the reality . I think the real reason that I was and still am sick mentally sometimes is because I am so ashamed of having been a prostitute and can 't really overcome the pain of it . Prostitution ruiReply ali says : March 10 , 2014 at 6 : 29 am You are not mentally unstable nor are you to feel guilty about anything . Your comment is enough to prove that . You are a brave woman and an honorable woman and you have shared here what most would not even dare to talk about . I respect you and honor you for this ! Reply Jowhara says : March 11 , 2014 at 12 : 02 am Thank you . I would like to add that they were not of corse all Muslim men . I guess it seems worse to me somehow as most of the ones i met profess to fear Allah and uphold many Muslim traditions , even prayer and Ramadan etc . It 's hypocritical the way that outwardly they appear to be Muslim and to follow the religion ; whereas most Christians , especially in UK and many Northern European countries nowadays don 't even bother to have anything to do with God , , or to give any consideration to what is acceptable behavior according to the church . So it is harder to condemn them when they do not believe that what they are doing is even sinful . Muslims on the other hand , are in my experience fairly constant in accepting that it 's wrong , but just do it anyway . What angers me most is the contradictory image it gives about Islam , particularly in a climate where the West is constantly looking for any excuse to criticize Islam and its followers . One of the things that I like about Italy , is that almost everyone is a believer in God and many still attend church . However , The number of young people who cohabit instead of getting married is steadily growing even here . I know i am bad man but i have my justifications , i have been always rich and i am still now , but what has chnanged now i dont consider it as a sin going to a prostitute , i think i contribute in acheiveing their goals , i help them money wise to make their ends meet and in return they fullfill my desires ( thank you ) Recently in juffair i asked a young chinese girl why dont you get married here ? Her immediate reply was You will send money to my Old mama and papa back home ? I was left answerless and shameless . Reply drewdog2060drewdog2060 says : September 21 , 2014 at 9 : 08 am This is powerful writing . This lady was obviously in dire need . However there are women who earn a great deal of money from prostitution . I am speaking of escorts who do not work on the street but visit clients in their homes or hotel rooms . The lives of escorts are , on the whole much better than those who work on the streets . Here , in the UK there are some university students working as prostitutes to fund their education .
|
Even though you haven 't been reading about them here over the past month , the teen suicides - LGBT and straight , alike - have been steadily mounting . And , even now , with the news of the Boston Marathon bombing dominating the news ( and , rightfully so ) , the teen suicides continue . What really gets under my skin is how little attention these tragic events get even as the death toll continues to climb . I 've said it before , and it 's worth saying again and again : it 's as if these young people 's lives are expendable . They . Are . Not . Yesterday , April 15th , 13 - year - old Nigel Hardy was reported missing after being suspended from school for defending himself in school against bullies . Seeing that news circulate on facebook made me nervous , at best . Fear of the worst set in quickly . Word spread very quickly in Palmdale , where he lived and went to school . His father found a suicide note in his bedroom Monday morning and then noticed his handgun was missing . The school Nigel attended , Hillview Middle School , was placed on " heightened awareness " , basically lockdown . Monday night , Nigel was found . Shortly after , he was pronounced dead at an Antelope Valley hospital . Nigel , who turned 13 only last Thursday , April 11th , was a cheerleader at his middle school . Apparently , that led to his being bullied . Various news reports say that he had gotten in a fight with his bully , or bullies , and that led to him being suspended . He became despondent over that . Now , he 's gone . Where does this end ? When do we seriously and honestly reach the point where we 've seen enough carnage and devastation that comes with these teen suicides and their aftermath ? When do we stop making excuses for the ones responsible for pushing these young people to the edge and start holding them accountable ? When is enough truly enough ? I don 't think anyone can answer that , and that 's what has become overwhelmingly frustrating for me . No one has any answers ! ! No one has any solutions ! ! And , to add insult to injury , our government officials are paying attention to any - and everything but the fact that bullying and the related teen suicides have reached epidemic proportions . Instead , we 're continuously dished the same , tired rhetorical responses . We 're still getting the " boys will be boys " , " kids will be kids " spiel that we 've been hearing for far too long , now . Nigel 's suicide is not the first one where the person ( s ) involved in the bullying are known . What is being done about the fact that their actions cost another teenager his life ! ! ? ? Here in Maryland last year , there was a horrific traffic accident involving four young people who were best of friends . They 'd been partying , and the driver certainly should not have been driving . Three of them died in the accident . The driver survived . He 's now serving a lengthy prison sentence for his actions . Why ? Because his actions led to the deaths of his three friends . He was held accountable . These young people who terrorize their schoolmates , or sometimes even strangers online ! , to the point where the victim ends their lives get nothing ! There is zero accountability ! ! And , that , as much as anything , is a major part of the problem . As long as they know they can continue to do this without any risk of repercussion , they will continue . Not only that , but their actions will continue to escalate . It 's really just that simple . We agreed , ahem , to disagree . I do understand that these menaces have issues going on in their own lives that causes them to do the things they do . In many , if not most ! , cases , it 's a very bad living condition at home . That 's a whole different issue for another time . And , I 'm all for getting them the help they need to become better , more productive , and less menacing people . That is , when there isn 't a death attached to their name and their actions . Understand this : it is 2013 . The " Information Age " is maturing . There is 100 % absolutely NO WAY that Nigel Hardy 's bullies didn 't know that there are teens committing suicide NEARLY EVERYDAY ! ! , and bullying is often the root of it ! ! NO . WAY . They KNOW this is happening ! It 's impossible for them to NOT know . Period . Accept that . It 's impossible for these kids to NOT know that their actions could very well lead to yet another suicide . We 've MUST understand and accept this reality ! And , the reason why it 's so vital that we , as adults , come to this understanding of what really going on is because , once we accept the reality that they KNOW what they 're doing could very well lead to yet another suicide , we can accept the reality that they absolutely must be held accountable for their actions . Anything less than that , and we 're only fooling ourselves . These young people are telling us , as loudly as they can , that they don 't care if their victim kills themselves ! ! In some cases , they even TELL the victim to " go kill yourself " , " nobody would care if you died " , and worse . How can we NOT hold them accountable for their actions ! How can we even dream of coddling the perpetrators when there is a devastated , grieving family who will never , ever have their young , loved one to coddle anymore ? How is that even justifiable ? It 's not . This has gone much , much too far . The time has long since passed for us to take some serious action that will prevent this from continuing to happen . As loudly as people are shouting for marriage equality , so , too , should the voices be raised for our school officials , our law enforcement agencies , and our lawmakers to get off their collective asses and start making some real changes in policies that will prevent these teen suicides to continue to mount . Anything less , and we 're only spinning our wheels as yet another family mourns . We 'll never know how brightly Nigel 's star would 've shone . Rest in peace , young man . This is horrific news out of Detroit today : 13 - year - old Tyler Nichols brought a gun to school this morning and shot himself in a school bathroom . He died later in the day at a nearby hospital . Obviously , it 's still much too early to know any of the details , or the " whys " , of why he ended his young life . At this moment , bullying does not appear to be the factor . What is known at this time is that Tyler secured a legally registered gun from an unidentified relative and brought it into the school today . Somewhere around 8 : 00 this morning , he reportedly went to a bathroom on another floor and shot himself . One of his schoolmates found him lying on the floor and notified school officials . Soon after , the school was placed on lockdown as police investigated . At the hospital , a suicide note was reportedly found somewhere on Tyler 's person . Few details have been given , at this point , as to the contents of the note . However , one thing that is being reported is that he did say that he was " … sick of all the drama … " in his life . Again , only those closest to him will understand what that means , and we won 't speculate . What 's important is that , for whatever reason , a 13 - year - old felt so overwhelmed with whatever " drama " he had going on his life that he saw no way out but to simply end his life . The enormity of this tragedy hasn 't even set in , yet . As he was reportedly a very popular and intelligent students , his classmates … and teachers will be forever affected by what happened Thursday morning at Davidson Middle School . But , it 's his family who will live the rest of their lives with the relentless grief of knowing that Tyler is gone for good . It 's a pain no parent should ever , ever ! , have to go through . As the gun control debate continues to gather momentum across the country , one question that I 'm sure will be raised is why was it so easy for him to get ahold of a loaded gun ? That 's not to point fingers at the relative who owns the gun . I 'm sure they 're beside themselves with grief right now . Rather , it 's to ask the question : " when do we start paying attention to gun safety and gun control in this country ? " Just how many lives must be lost to gun violence before we , as a people , finally say " Enough ! ! ! Something must be done ! ! ! " ? Rallying swiftly to pay their respects to Tyler , the community gathered Thursday evening for a candlelight vigil in his memory . Hundreds attended . Undoubtedly , many of them are still trying to come to terms with what happened in their school , in their community , and in their lives today . It will be a long time before they 're able to sort it all out . However , unfortunately , right now , as I type this , the speculation machine is already in full - gear on one social media site with the standard cries about bullying . Bullying is a horrible epidemic that we face today , but not every teen suicide is a result of bullying . And , from the looks of things , at least here in the early stages , bullying was not a factor in Tyler Nichol 's suicide . What we cannot lose track of is that Tyler left behind a family that , at this very moment , is stunned by today 's actions , absolutely overwhelmed by indescribable grief and sorrow . Our focus needs to be on them , as we offer them all of the support , and condolences , we can possibly muster . They 're going to need it . What is also very apparent is that we , as a society , need to do a much , much better job at reaching out to these young people . We 're failing miserably . Every time I see another name attached to the word " suicide " , I 'm reminded that we 're not doing enough to reach them . We 're failing at making them understand that whatever pain they 're experiencing right now is temporary ! We 're failing at making them realize that their lives are worth living , that things will ( honestly ! ) get better ! We 're failing at keeping them alive long enough to understand that they 're strong enough to make it through whatever it is they 're facing . And , sadly , as we continue to fail , the number of teen suicides continues to rise . Enough ! To the family of Tyler Nichols , I send my deepest sympathy . I can 't even fathom what you 're going through right now . Rest in peace , Tyler . With " bully " , " bullying " , and " bullycide " now a part of our everyday vernacular , it 's easy to lose track of the real fact that bullying isn 't the only driving force behind teen suicide . Depression , as well as other mental illnesses , also play a large roll in it . Depression , perhaps , just as much as bullying . In fact , some say that depression is the leading cause of suicides . I received word late last week that 17 - year - old Hannah Gabriel Myer ended her life on Wednesday , March 13th after a long battle with depression . The person with whom I spoke will remain anonymous , but she was a longtime friend of Hannah 's . The picture she painted of the struggles her friend endured was heartbreaking : We lived in Colorado Springs Colorado . She loved to ski and was 6 in our league . She was a beautiful girl who didn 't like herself . Her family was very rich , and none of her parents ever paid attention to her . Her nanny always took care of her . She also had bulimia , but I was the only one who knew . She used to cut . She loved her dog so much , and she told me Spencer , the dog , would be the only reason she stayed . I have Spencer now . Her parents weren 't around much before she died , so they have asked me a lot . Like , what would she want at her funeral . If she wanted a funeral . Her favorite song , etc . She had a 4 . 0 and was in 3 APs . She was basically the perfect child but was cracking under pressure and couldn 't tell anyone . I was the only one who knew , and I 've told counselors etc . But , no one did anything . And , now she 's gone . She was just so beautiful and should never have died . This beautiful girl had parents who didn 't know who their daughter was . I 'm sure that , now that she 's gone , they regret having missed out on sharing in on more of her life . That they can no longer make amends and get to know their lovely daughter is equally as tragic as the suicide , itself . This beautiful girl had a friend , who was her de facto family , in the true sense of the word , who tried to save her friend but knew in the end that " … whatever I do was never going to be enough . " I don 't know which is more frustrating : the fact that , at least in Hannah 's mind , her parents were too busy with their own lives , or the fact that her friend tried getting her counseling but no one did anything . Either of the two is bad enough . Either of the two could be enough , on their own , to lead an already - fragile person over the edge . Together , they form a lethal combination that proved too much for Hannah Myers to overcome . Now she 's gone . Now , her parents are struggling to learn who their daughter was through her friend while coping with the devastation of losing a child . This is never easy for anyone . For as beautiful as Hannah was , I find it haunting to see the level of obvious pain in her eyes . I wondered if that was just my imagination working after the fact . I was assured by her friend , however , that the pain I thought I saw was , in fact , very real and very visible to anyone who took the time to notice . Her response to my question of whether it was my imagination , or was I able to see the pain in her eyes was : " You can . I saw , but no one else did " . It 's never easy to write about these teen suicides . In fact , it gets harder every time . Like most teen suicides , if not all , this could 've so easily been avoided . Hannah Myer didn 't have to die ! Once again , we see an instance where sheer negligence led to the untimely death of a young person . The attempt was made to get her some much - needed therapy and counseling by a trained professional . Nothing was done . Again . And , once again , we 're left wondering what is it going to take to get people - adults ! ! - to realize that we 've got a major epidemic on our hands ! ? Why are so many young people dying by their own hands with nothing being done about it ! ? That is what 's most infuriating ! ! It 's almost as if the message that is being sent is that these young lives are expendable . That 's a tough pill to swallow ; however , the redundancy of the situations surrounding far - too - many of these teen suicides makes it easy for one to walk away with that impression . Certainly , more can be done to prevent them from happening . Obviously , more needs to be done to prevent them from happening . As one parent of a recent suicide victim put it : “… Look at the kids . They 're reaching out to us , and we owe them more than what we 're giving them . " That , from a parent who lost a teenager to suicide . We can do more . We must do much more . Through this blog , you , Hannah , will never be forgotten . Though most of the people who will read this never knew you , they will never forget you . Or , your smile . Or , the pain in your eyes . I hope you are now at peace . Where do I start ? This has me numb . A nine - year - old boy has ended his life because of bullying . You wouldn 't know it by reading this , but just typing that caused me to walk away from the keyboard for a bit in order to re - collect my thought . It 's truly that mind - numbing . Focus . This is too much . My mind doesn 't want to go here . Focus . Aaron Dugmore committed suicide at age 9 because of what amounts to racist bullying . Racist bullying that , once again ! , nothing was done to prevent . It 's not just in this country : it 's a worldwide lack of caring ! ! That lack of caring breeds inaction . The inaction allows the bullying to continue to fester and the suicides to continue to mount . Aaron Dugmore was 9 ! ! Where does this end ? Where is the line drawn ! ? You tell a parent who is coming to you out of concern that her nine - year - old son is being constantly bullied , and instead of acting upon her complaint and concern , " you didn 't have to come to this school , you chose to come here . You blame her for her choice in schools . Then , the nine - year - old son ends up dead because he felt , at nine - years - old ! ! ! , helpless and hopeless . No matter how you attempt to spin it , the death of this 9 - year - old boy is on your hands for life . That , unfortunately , won 't bring Aaron back to his family , will it ? Holding this callous " school administrator " responsible ( which I sincerely hope is done ! ) won 't put that smile back on his face and back into the hearts of his parents . Finding these young racists who bullied Aaron to the point of no return and expelling them from school as well as holding them legally accountable for his death won 't bring him back , either . All of the above would be a great place to start ; however , all of the options are reactive as opposed to being proactive . And , as long as we continue to be reactive in our response to these tragedies , this epidemic will continue to escalate . If I had the one , definitive answer that would end this once and for all , it would 've ended years ago . Rather , I do have some ideas that I think would make an enormous difference in the culture we 're seeing today . There are certainly things that could , and should , be done that will make a difference : An absolute must has to be accountability . The current culture of " there are no reported incidents … " has to come to an abrupt end . In the majority of these cases , the bullying has been reported to " school officials " . In a recent case , it was even well - documented ! In the case of Aaron Dugmore , however , his mother was told that she " chose to send him " to that school , which is to absolve themselves of any responsibility and place the blame on the mother ! Teachers , and school administrators , are responsible for the safety and well - being of the students in their care . Period . If they are unable to provide them a safe environment , they need to find another profession . Too many lives are being affected by their negligence . And , needless to say , far too many lives are being lost . There needs to be accountability for the parents of the bullies , as well . That bullying is leading some to a lifetime of emotional problems is very well - documented . Even in the cases where the bullying doesn 't lead to teen suicide , the emotional scars run very deep . And , then there are the instances where the bullying does lead to suicide ! The bullies need to be identified , and their parents need to be held just as accountable as the child who committed the act of bullying . Some will say that 's easier said than done . I say not . It all starts in the home . One of two things are occurring : either the home environment is one that fosters and promotes bullying , of the lack of parental control is such that these young people are free to do as they please , with no worry of consequences . In either case , the results are far - reaching and devastating . Most importantly , the young person ( s ) involved in acts of bullying absolutely must be held accountable . In Maryland , just yesterday , a 15 - year - old boy was sentenced to 35 years for shooting one of his schoolmates on the first day of school . No one died , and the shooting victim is back in school . Aaron Dugmore can 't go back to school . Neither can the many , many other victims of suicide because of bullying . His actions didn 't kill anyone , yet the 15 - year - old teenager here in Maryland will be in prison until his 40s at the earliest . The actions of some of these bullies are leading directly to the death of their victims , yet they are not being held accountable ! ! ! How are we , as a society , continuing to allow that to happen ? Am I saying that all bullies need to be locked up for decades ? Of course not . What I am saying , though , is that as long as they know ( and , understand that they are well aware ! ) that there will be no consequences for their actions of intolerance and , in some cases , hatred , they have no reason to even reconsider their actions . It 's time to get very serious about the bullying and related youth suicide issue that we 're seeing . Bemoaning another loss and mourning their death is a perfectly natural response ; however , it 's time to demand action that will prevent this from continuing to happen . Right now , with the climate currently in place , we 're seeing a lot for posturing . Smoke and mirrors . Ineffective " zero tolerance " anti - bullying policies , policies that look great on paper and sound really good to tell parents and the media , but do absolutely nothing to address this continuing problem . And , sadly , the only way this is going to end is for you , the concerned parents and citizens , to stand up , make sure your voices are heard as you tell them that you 've had enough of reading about yet another young person ending his / her life because of bullying . Tell them how empty your home , and your heart , is without your young son or daughter who was bullied to the point where they saw no other way out but to end their life . There really is power in numbers . You 've read it here many times before . The school " officials " and administrators absolutely must be held accountable in cases of bullying especially when it results in the suicide death of the one being bullied . Of course , their " out " is always , always , always , " there are no documented incidents of bullying … " . Well , now there are . Miguel Rodriquez was just 12 - years - old when he ended his life . He had suffered brutal bullying from schoolmates that his mother acted upon and documented . " My son Miguel Rodriguez is a victim of constant bullying . Since he started school at West Hernando he has been shoved from behind while on his knees , kicked in his privates , kicked in his head , name calling , constantly being hit and thrown with a full water bottle to his face . All these incidents have been reported , documented and in some cases handled . " ( Hernando Today ) If you think this is an exception , think again . This is the rule ! ! This is how this instances of bullying are being handled all around the country and probably around the developed world . What makes this stand out is that Miguel 's mother has documented proof against the school officials claims of " … no incidents [ of reported bullying ] documented " . Miguel did what he 's been told to do when there 's bullying involved : he reported it to an adult . Miguel 's mother did everything she was supposed to do as a parent : she became rigorously involved , and she very wisely documented everything that was going on . Yet , it didn 't stop the bullying from happening . And , because it didn 't stop the bullying , it didn 't stop Miguel from ending his life . What this finally gives us a very clear illustration of is something I , for one , have been saying for quite a while now : " they " simply don 't care about bullying ! ! To many , including many school officials , law enforcement officials , even parents , the " boys will be boys " , " kids will be kids " is very prevalent . With that attitude firmly entrenched in our society , it 's no wonder we 're seeing a redundancy not just in the instances of bullying but , just as importantly , the response from people who should be making a difference . It 's really as simple as that . Regardless of your own personal beliefs , if a child is coming to you and complaining that ( s ) he is being bullied , for whatever reason , that complaint needs to be taken seriously ! ! It needs to be taken as seriously as them telling you that one of their classmates brought a gun to school and threatened him or her . It 's that serious ! Why ? Because in some cases , as it was with Miguel Rodriquez , it may have well been a gun brought to school ! ! The results are the same . His life is still over . Make no mistake : this type of inaction has been going on for as long as I can remember ! ! It 's always been much easier for these teachers , principles , law enforcement agencies to shrug it off , to look the other way , to write it off to " boys being boys " , " kids being kids " , or " horseplaying " . But , when the kid who complained ends up dead , please figure out a way to explain … not to me but to the families of these young people you failed to take seriously and protect … how that was " boys being boys " , " kids being kids " , or " horseplaying " . Said another facebook blog page member : … sounds like one of the administrators at the high school I went to when I was attacked . She SOOO didn 't believe I was attacked when you could see the bruises already and my hair was messed up and clothes were dirty . And to top it off , they hid the truth . They covered up what happened . There absolutely must be accountability , especially in the event of a suicide . There has to be some ramifications for parents having to live the rest of their lives with the pain of not having their son or daughter in their lives anymore because a . ) their schoolmate thought it was fun or cool to verbally , emotionally , or sometimes physically abuse them to the point where they couldn 't take it anymore ; and , b . ) no one in a position of authority did anything to remedy the situation . There . Must . Be . Accountability . Miguel 's mother has the documentation that proves that she did everything she was supposed to do to protect her son , and the school simply dropped the ball . My hope is that this is the starting point for the necessary change . It is also my hope that someone is held accountable for this tragedy . Bullying , and bully - related suicide , isn 't restricted to the U . S . borders . It 's happening worldwide . The stories and the circumstances really don 't vary that much : one or more misguided kid dealing with his or her own self - esteem issues , or just trying to fit in , verbally , emotionally , or sometimes physically abuses one of their peers to the point where that peer can 't take anymore and ends his / her life . Add to that , the " official " response to it is also quite universal … to the point of frustration . Joshua James Maddox was a month away from celebrating his 16th birthday . He apparently dealt with Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder for which he " suffered months of cruel taunts from classmates " . He also had a girlfriend who was two years younger than himself , for which he was labeled and " paedo " and , again , taunted brutally . I woke up earlier this week to a voicemail from a distraught , tearful mother who had just lost her young son to yet another bully - related suicide . It was heartbreaking to hear the depth of her pain . Through my own tears , I was reminded how real this is and how devastated families are following these tragedies . I was reminded that we need to be doing much , much more to prevent this from continuing to happen . Here 's the deal : this is not going to get any better until we truly reach the point where we say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ! ! ! and truly mean it . It 's that simple . Parents of the bullies must be held accountable for their kids actions , especially when their child 's actions lead to the death of another child . The bullies , themselves , must be held accountable , especially when their actions lead to the death of another person . The school " officials " absolutely must be held accountable when they fail to take action to prevent bullying to continue to fester in their classrooms and schools . The only way out of this is total accountability ! As long as no one has to answer for these life - changing tragedies , they are going to continue to happen . Those are the words of Joshua 's heartbroken mother , but they could be the words of many , many other mothers , and fathers , of past suicide victims whose child had endured insufferable bullying . They are also the words that are now being echoed around this country and around the world . There HAS to be accountability ! ! ! It 's becoming increasingly hard for me to believe anything other than the fact that these bullies simply do not care about human life . They have no regards for the lives of others . Bullying and bully - related suicides are in the news with such regularity , the only way to not know what 's going on is to live with your head tucked safely in a place where the sun doesn 't typically reach . There are still those who say that these young bullies should face no punishment , that they should not be held accountable when their actions lead directly to one of their schoolmates ends his / her life . There are still those who say that we need to coddle the bullies because they are dealing with issues , themselves . To those people , I will simply say tell that to some of these parents who are now left with unfathomable grief , with a gaping hole right in the middle of their hearts and lives , for the rest of their lives ! ! Explain to the grieving mother who just told me , through tears , that she just wants to hear her son sing again that his bullies shouldn 't be held accountable . Tell Joshua 's parents that the bullies who tormented her son because he had ADHD and a girlfriend 2 years younger than himself that no one should be held accountable for her having to live the rest of her life without her talented son . You can 't . And , you know why you can 't ? Easy answer . You can 't because you 're speaking theoretically . You would have a much different point of view if this were your own child or someone close to your life . Then , you , too , would want to see heads roll . There has to be accountability . Anything less than that , and we 're sending the message that these young lives are expendable . They 're certainly not . Buddy was a bright , shining star in the lives of his family and friends . He had a life full of enormous potential and possibilities ahead of him . But , like many of those who went before him , he couldn 't get past the bullied he endured . It is known by the school , who was responsible for the relentless bullying that Buddy endured . His parents did everything the right way and was at the school regularly . They were told that the boys responsible for the bullying would be removed from the school . That never happened . It goes even deeper than that , actually . In what is becoming a disturbing trend , it appears that Buddy 's mother took all the right steps , reported everything that needed to be reported , was persistent in trying to protect her son , but the school system failed her . And , ultimately , Buddy . Earlier , there was a bit of a debate about bullying on the facebook blog page . A couple of people were voicing the opinion that those who are being bullied should " get a backbone " and " stand up to their bully " , that would make the bullying magically disappear . That 's a great , macho response . And , perhaps , it 's worked for some . But , rest assured that that is not the way we 're going to overcome this menace that 's claiming so many lives . Buddy Peterson is a prime example of why that mentality , that " solution " , is grossly ineffective . Buddy Peterson was a second - degree Black Belt in the Martial Art of Tae Kwon Do . A second degree Black Belt . Being able to defend himself was certainly not an issue . Yet , the bullying he endured was too much for him to handle . Why ? Simple answer : the bullying Buddy Peterson endured had nothing to do with physical bullying . He wasn 't being physically attacked or pushed around . Rather , his torture was of the psychological and emotional brand . It 's time to have a very open and honest discussion about bullying . I don 't mean engaging your CAP LOCK and typing " BULLYING SUCKS " or " STOP BULLYING " . We 've seen how effective that is . It 's time to really have a much deeper , broader conversation about : It 's obvious that the bullying prevention programs that are currently in place in schools today are largely ineffective . Zero tolerance has proven to have no meaning . It 's still going on on a regular basis , little - to - nothing is being done about it , and these young people are still ending their lives because of it . I 'm not okay with that . No one should be ! One thing that 's become obvious is that bullying has many different faces . It 's not just the name calling , it 's the physical abuse . It 's not only emotional warfare , it 's exclusionary actions . Talk to 10 different people , you 'll get 8 different answers . That 's the U . S . trying to tackle Al Qaeda . We know it 's there , we see the devastating harm it does , there 's no specific place to go to fight and eradicate it . In the homes ? In schools , with better bully prevention measures in place ? In schools , with more , and more stringent ! , accountability for the school staff ? With the students ? As I see it , the starting point is no mystery , actually . THIS HAS TO START WITH THE ADULTS ! ! What we 're seeing in the schools with the young people is simply a manifestation of what they are learning , either directly or indirectly , from the adult influences in their lives . It 's . That . Simple . What 's not as simply , however , is expecting all adults to simultaneously and instantaneously change their behaviors so that they 're being better , more positive role models for the young . Negative , spiteful people will always be around . So , to combat this at its core , it has to be done in the homes . That is where the ball is being dropped . Period . And , that dropped ball is costing lives . There 's still more that needs to be done . Starting in the homes only attacks the head of the beast . Meanwhile , in every single school across this country , and around the world , there 's bullying going on right now , as I type this . And , at least one of those cases of bullying will lead to another teen suicide ! Will … not " might " . This war on bullying will be won in the homes , with the parents . However , this war 's " battlefield " is the classroom , the school bus , the school yard , the cell phone , the Internet . That 's where it needs to be " contained " . And , the only way that 's ever going to happen is we must get serious about ending this path of destruction we 're on . And , if my child were being cyberbullied , that 's an easy one : their computer usage if restricted to " in common area only " and is heavily monitored . Period . Their cell phones would no longer have texting capability . It 's a matter of life and death . To look at it any differently is to invite this to continue to escalate . I , for one , don 't want to see that happen . This is war . The battlefield is the classrooms , the hallways , the school yard , the school bus , the Internet , the cell phones . The troops on the front line are your kids ! ! ! The U . S . is winning the war against Al Qaeda . We 're going to win the war against bullying . It 's time to stop shaking our collective heads and saying " this has to stop " and get busy with the business of making it stop .
|
Even though you haven 't been reading about them here over the past month , the teen suicides - LGBT and straight , alike - have been steadily mounting . And , even now , with the news of the Boston Marathon bombing dominating the news ( and , rightfully so ) , the teen suicides continue . What really gets under my skin is how little attention these tragic events get even as the death toll continues to climb . I 've said it before , and it 's worth saying again and again : it 's as if these young people 's lives are expendable . They . Are . Not . Yesterday , April 15th , 13 - year - old Nigel Hardy was reported missing after being suspended from school for defending himself in school against bullies . Seeing that news circulate on facebook made me nervous , at best . Fear of the worst set in quickly . Word spread very quickly in Palmdale , where he lived and went to school . His father found a suicide note in his bedroom Monday morning and then noticed his handgun was missing . The school Nigel attended , Hillview Middle School , was placed on " heightened awareness " , basically lockdown . Monday night , Nigel was found . Shortly after , he was pronounced dead at an Antelope Valley hospital . Nigel , who turned 13 only last Thursday , April 11th , was a cheerleader at his middle school . Apparently , that led to his being bullied . Various news reports say that he had gotten in a fight with his bully , or bullies , and that led to him being suspended . He became despondent over that . Now , he 's gone . Where does this end ? When do we seriously and honestly reach the point where we 've seen enough carnage and devastation that comes with these teen suicides and their aftermath ? When do we stop making excuses for the ones responsible for pushing these young people to the edge and start holding them accountable ? When is enough truly enough ? I don 't think anyone can answer that , and that 's what has become overwhelmingly frustrating for me . No one has any answers ! ! No one has any solutions ! ! And , to add insult to injury , our government officials are paying attention to any - and everything but the fact that bullying and the related teen suicides have reached epidemic proportions . Instead , we 're continuously dished the same , tired rhetorical responses . We 're still getting the " boys will be boys " , " kids will be kids " spiel that we 've been hearing for far too long , now . Nigel 's suicide is not the first one where the person ( s ) involved in the bullying are known . What is being done about the fact that their actions cost another teenager his life ! ! ? ? Here in Maryland last year , there was a horrific traffic accident involving four young people who were best of friends . They 'd been partying , and the driver certainly should not have been driving . Three of them died in the accident . The driver survived . He 's now serving a lengthy prison sentence for his actions . Why ? Because his actions led to the deaths of his three friends . He was held accountable . These young people who terrorize their schoolmates , or sometimes even strangers online ! , to the point where the victim ends their lives get nothing ! There is zero accountability ! ! And , that , as much as anything , is a major part of the problem . As long as they know they can continue to do this without any risk of repercussion , they will continue . Not only that , but their actions will continue to escalate . It 's really just that simple . We agreed , ahem , to disagree . I do understand that these menaces have issues going on in their own lives that causes them to do the things they do . In many , if not most ! , cases , it 's a very bad living condition at home . That 's a whole different issue for another time . And , I 'm all for getting them the help they need to become better , more productive , and less menacing people . That is , when there isn 't a death attached to their name and their actions . Understand this : it is 2013 . The " Information Age " is maturing . There is 100 % absolutely NO WAY that Nigel Hardy 's bullies didn 't know that there are teens committing suicide NEARLY EVERYDAY ! ! , and bullying is often the root of it ! ! NO . WAY . They KNOW this is happening ! It 's impossible for them to NOT know . Period . Accept that . It 's impossible for these kids to NOT know that their actions could very well lead to yet another suicide . We 've MUST understand and accept this reality ! And , the reason why it 's so vital that we , as adults , come to this understanding of what really going on is because , once we accept the reality that they KNOW what they 're doing could very well lead to yet another suicide , we can accept the reality that they absolutely must be held accountable for their actions . Anything less than that , and we 're only fooling ourselves . These young people are telling us , as loudly as they can , that they don 't care if their victim kills themselves ! ! In some cases , they even TELL the victim to " go kill yourself " , " nobody would care if you died " , and worse . How can we NOT hold them accountable for their actions ! How can we even dream of coddling the perpetrators when there is a devastated , grieving family who will never , ever have their young , loved one to coddle anymore ? How is that even justifiable ? It 's not . This has gone much , much too far . The time has long since passed for us to take some serious action that will prevent this from continuing to happen . As loudly as people are shouting for marriage equality , so , too , should the voices be raised for our school officials , our law enforcement agencies , and our lawmakers to get off their collective asses and start making some real changes in policies that will prevent these teen suicides to continue to mount . Anything less , and we 're only spinning our wheels as yet another family mourns . We 'll never know how brightly Nigel 's star would 've shone . Rest in peace , young man . This is horrific news out of Detroit today : 13 - year - old Tyler Nichols brought a gun to school this morning and shot himself in a school bathroom . He died later in the day at a nearby hospital . Obviously , it 's still much too early to know any of the details , or the " whys " , of why he ended his young life . At this moment , bullying does not appear to be the factor . What is known at this time is that Tyler secured a legally registered gun from an unidentified relative and brought it into the school today . Somewhere around 8 : 00 this morning , he reportedly went to a bathroom on another floor and shot himself . One of his schoolmates found him lying on the floor and notified school officials . Soon after , the school was placed on lockdown as police investigated . At the hospital , a suicide note was reportedly found somewhere on Tyler 's person . Few details have been given , at this point , as to the contents of the note . However , one thing that is being reported is that he did say that he was " … sick of all the drama … " in his life . Again , only those closest to him will understand what that means , and we won 't speculate . What 's important is that , for whatever reason , a 13 - year - old felt so overwhelmed with whatever " drama " he had going on his life that he saw no way out but to simply end his life . The enormity of this tragedy hasn 't even set in , yet . As he was reportedly a very popular and intelligent students , his classmates … and teachers will be forever affected by what happened Thursday morning at Davidson Middle School . But , it 's his family who will live the rest of their lives with the relentless grief of knowing that Tyler is gone for good . It 's a pain no parent should ever , ever ! , have to go through . As the gun control debate continues to gather momentum across the country , one question that I 'm sure will be raised is why was it so easy for him to get ahold of a loaded gun ? That 's not to point fingers at the relative who owns the gun . I 'm sure they 're beside themselves with grief right now . Rather , it 's to ask the question : " when do we start paying attention to gun safety and gun control in this country ? " Just how many lives must be lost to gun violence before we , as a people , finally say " Enough ! ! ! Something must be done ! ! ! " ? Rallying swiftly to pay their respects to Tyler , the community gathered Thursday evening for a candlelight vigil in his memory . Hundreds attended . Undoubtedly , many of them are still trying to come to terms with what happened in their school , in their community , and in their lives today . It will be a long time before they 're able to sort it all out . However , unfortunately , right now , as I type this , the speculation machine is already in full - gear on one social media site with the standard cries about bullying . Bullying is a horrible epidemic that we face today , but not every teen suicide is a result of bullying . And , from the looks of things , at least here in the early stages , bullying was not a factor in Tyler Nichol 's suicide . What we cannot lose track of is that Tyler left behind a family that , at this very moment , is stunned by today 's actions , absolutely overwhelmed by indescribable grief and sorrow . Our focus needs to be on them , as we offer them all of the support , and condolences , we can possibly muster . They 're going to need it . What is also very apparent is that we , as a society , need to do a much , much better job at reaching out to these young people . We 're failing miserably . Every time I see another name attached to the word " suicide " , I 'm reminded that we 're not doing enough to reach them . We 're failing at making them understand that whatever pain they 're experiencing right now is temporary ! We 're failing at making them realize that their lives are worth living , that things will ( honestly ! ) get better ! We 're failing at keeping them alive long enough to understand that they 're strong enough to make it through whatever it is they 're facing . And , sadly , as we continue to fail , the number of teen suicides continues to rise . Enough ! To the family of Tyler Nichols , I send my deepest sympathy . I can 't even fathom what you 're going through right now . Rest in peace , Tyler . With " bully " , " bullying " , and " bullycide " now a part of our everyday vernacular , it 's easy to lose track of the real fact that bullying isn 't the only driving force behind teen suicide . Depression , as well as other mental illnesses , also play a large roll in it . Depression , perhaps , just as much as bullying . In fact , some say that depression is the leading cause of suicides . I received word late last week that 17 - year - old Hannah Gabriel Myer ended her life on Wednesday , March 13th after a long battle with depression . The person with whom I spoke will remain anonymous , but she was a longtime friend of Hannah 's . The picture she painted of the struggles her friend endured was heartbreaking : We lived in Colorado Springs Colorado . She loved to ski and was 6 in our league . She was a beautiful girl who didn 't like herself . Her family was very rich , and none of her parents ever paid attention to her . Her nanny always took care of her . She also had bulimia , but I was the only one who knew . She used to cut . She loved her dog so much , and she told me Spencer , the dog , would be the only reason she stayed . I have Spencer now . Her parents weren 't around much before she died , so they have asked me a lot . Like , what would she want at her funeral . If she wanted a funeral . Her favorite song , etc . She had a 4 . 0 and was in 3 APs . She was basically the perfect child but was cracking under pressure and couldn 't tell anyone . I was the only one who knew , and I 've told counselors etc . But , no one did anything . And , now she 's gone . She was just so beautiful and should never have died . This beautiful girl had parents who didn 't know who their daughter was . I 'm sure that , now that she 's gone , they regret having missed out on sharing in on more of her life . That they can no longer make amends and get to know their lovely daughter is equally as tragic as the suicide , itself . This beautiful girl had a friend , who was her de facto family , in the true sense of the word , who tried to save her friend but knew in the end that " … whatever I do was never going to be enough . " I don 't know which is more frustrating : the fact that , at least in Hannah 's mind , her parents were too busy with their own lives , or the fact that her friend tried getting her counseling but no one did anything . Either of the two is bad enough . Either of the two could be enough , on their own , to lead an already - fragile person over the edge . Together , they form a lethal combination that proved too much for Hannah Myers to overcome . Now she 's gone . Now , her parents are struggling to learn who their daughter was through her friend while coping with the devastation of losing a child . This is never easy for anyone . For as beautiful as Hannah was , I find it haunting to see the level of obvious pain in her eyes . I wondered if that was just my imagination working after the fact . I was assured by her friend , however , that the pain I thought I saw was , in fact , very real and very visible to anyone who took the time to notice . Her response to my question of whether it was my imagination , or was I able to see the pain in her eyes was : " You can . I saw , but no one else did " . It 's never easy to write about these teen suicides . In fact , it gets harder every time . Like most teen suicides , if not all , this could 've so easily been avoided . Hannah Myer didn 't have to die ! Once again , we see an instance where sheer negligence led to the untimely death of a young person . The attempt was made to get her some much - needed therapy and counseling by a trained professional . Nothing was done . Again . And , once again , we 're left wondering what is it going to take to get people - adults ! ! - to realize that we 've got a major epidemic on our hands ! ? Why are so many young people dying by their own hands with nothing being done about it ! ? That is what 's most infuriating ! ! It 's almost as if the message that is being sent is that these young lives are expendable . That 's a tough pill to swallow ; however , the redundancy of the situations surrounding far - too - many of these teen suicides makes it easy for one to walk away with that impression . Certainly , more can be done to prevent them from happening . Obviously , more needs to be done to prevent them from happening . As one parent of a recent suicide victim put it : “… Look at the kids . They 're reaching out to us , and we owe them more than what we 're giving them . " That , from a parent who lost a teenager to suicide . We can do more . We must do much more . Through this blog , you , Hannah , will never be forgotten . Though most of the people who will read this never knew you , they will never forget you . Or , your smile . Or , the pain in your eyes . I hope you are now at peace . Where do I start ? This has me numb . A nine - year - old boy has ended his life because of bullying . You wouldn 't know it by reading this , but just typing that caused me to walk away from the keyboard for a bit in order to re - collect my thought . It 's truly that mind - numbing . Focus . This is too much . My mind doesn 't want to go here . Focus . Aaron Dugmore committed suicide at age 9 because of what amounts to racist bullying . Racist bullying that , once again ! , nothing was done to prevent . It 's not just in this country : it 's a worldwide lack of caring ! ! That lack of caring breeds inaction . The inaction allows the bullying to continue to fester and the suicides to continue to mount . Aaron Dugmore was 9 ! ! Where does this end ? Where is the line drawn ! ? You tell a parent who is coming to you out of concern that her nine - year - old son is being constantly bullied , and instead of acting upon her complaint and concern , " you didn 't have to come to this school , you chose to come here . You blame her for her choice in schools . Then , the nine - year - old son ends up dead because he felt , at nine - years - old ! ! ! , helpless and hopeless . No matter how you attempt to spin it , the death of this 9 - year - old boy is on your hands for life . That , unfortunately , won 't bring Aaron back to his family , will it ? Holding this callous " school administrator " responsible ( which I sincerely hope is done ! ) won 't put that smile back on his face and back into the hearts of his parents . Finding these young racists who bullied Aaron to the point of no return and expelling them from school as well as holding them legally accountable for his death won 't bring him back , either . All of the above would be a great place to start ; however , all of the options are reactive as opposed to being proactive . And , as long as we continue to be reactive in our response to these tragedies , this epidemic will continue to escalate . If I had the one , definitive answer that would end this once and for all , it would 've ended years ago . Rather , I do have some ideas that I think would make an enormous difference in the culture we 're seeing today . There are certainly things that could , and should , be done that will make a difference : An absolute must has to be accountability . The current culture of " there are no reported incidents … " has to come to an abrupt end . In the majority of these cases , the bullying has been reported to " school officials " . In a recent case , it was even well - documented ! In the case of Aaron Dugmore , however , his mother was told that she " chose to send him " to that school , which is to absolve themselves of any responsibility and place the blame on the mother ! Teachers , and school administrators , are responsible for the safety and well - being of the students in their care . Period . If they are unable to provide them a safe environment , they need to find another profession . Too many lives are being affected by their negligence . And , needless to say , far too many lives are being lost . There needs to be accountability for the parents of the bullies , as well . That bullying is leading some to a lifetime of emotional problems is very well - documented . Even in the cases where the bullying doesn 't lead to teen suicide , the emotional scars run very deep . And , then there are the instances where the bullying does lead to suicide ! The bullies need to be identified , and their parents need to be held just as accountable as the child who committed the act of bullying . Some will say that 's easier said than done . I say not . It all starts in the home . One of two things are occurring : either the home environment is one that fosters and promotes bullying , of the lack of parental control is such that these young people are free to do as they please , with no worry of consequences . In either case , the results are far - reaching and devastating . Most importantly , the young person ( s ) involved in acts of bullying absolutely must be held accountable . In Maryland , just yesterday , a 15 - year - old boy was sentenced to 35 years for shooting one of his schoolmates on the first day of school . No one died , and the shooting victim is back in school . Aaron Dugmore can 't go back to school . Neither can the many , many other victims of suicide because of bullying . His actions didn 't kill anyone , yet the 15 - year - old teenager here in Maryland will be in prison until his 40s at the earliest . The actions of some of these bullies are leading directly to the death of their victims , yet they are not being held accountable ! ! ! How are we , as a society , continuing to allow that to happen ? Am I saying that all bullies need to be locked up for decades ? Of course not . What I am saying , though , is that as long as they know ( and , understand that they are well aware ! ) that there will be no consequences for their actions of intolerance and , in some cases , hatred , they have no reason to even reconsider their actions . It 's time to get very serious about the bullying and related youth suicide issue that we 're seeing . Bemoaning another loss and mourning their death is a perfectly natural response ; however , it 's time to demand action that will prevent this from continuing to happen . Right now , with the climate currently in place , we 're seeing a lot for posturing . Smoke and mirrors . Ineffective " zero tolerance " anti - bullying policies , policies that look great on paper and sound really good to tell parents and the media , but do absolutely nothing to address this continuing problem . And , sadly , the only way this is going to end is for you , the concerned parents and citizens , to stand up , make sure your voices are heard as you tell them that you 've had enough of reading about yet another young person ending his / her life because of bullying . Tell them how empty your home , and your heart , is without your young son or daughter who was bullied to the point where they saw no other way out but to end their life . There really is power in numbers . You 've read it here many times before . The school " officials " and administrators absolutely must be held accountable in cases of bullying especially when it results in the suicide death of the one being bullied . Of course , their " out " is always , always , always , " there are no documented incidents of bullying … " . Well , now there are . Miguel Rodriquez was just 12 - years - old when he ended his life . He had suffered brutal bullying from schoolmates that his mother acted upon and documented . " My son Miguel Rodriguez is a victim of constant bullying . Since he started school at West Hernando he has been shoved from behind while on his knees , kicked in his privates , kicked in his head , name calling , constantly being hit and thrown with a full water bottle to his face . All these incidents have been reported , documented and in some cases handled . " ( Hernando Today ) If you think this is an exception , think again . This is the rule ! ! This is how this instances of bullying are being handled all around the country and probably around the developed world . What makes this stand out is that Miguel 's mother has documented proof against the school officials claims of " … no incidents [ of reported bullying ] documented " . Miguel did what he 's been told to do when there 's bullying involved : he reported it to an adult . Miguel 's mother did everything she was supposed to do as a parent : she became rigorously involved , and she very wisely documented everything that was going on . Yet , it didn 't stop the bullying from happening . And , because it didn 't stop the bullying , it didn 't stop Miguel from ending his life . What this finally gives us a very clear illustration of is something I , for one , have been saying for quite a while now : " they " simply don 't care about bullying ! ! To many , including many school officials , law enforcement officials , even parents , the " boys will be boys " , " kids will be kids " is very prevalent . With that attitude firmly entrenched in our society , it 's no wonder we 're seeing a redundancy not just in the instances of bullying but , just as importantly , the response from people who should be making a difference . It 's really as simple as that . Regardless of your own personal beliefs , if a child is coming to you and complaining that ( s ) he is being bullied , for whatever reason , that complaint needs to be taken seriously ! ! It needs to be taken as seriously as them telling you that one of their classmates brought a gun to school and threatened him or her . It 's that serious ! Why ? Because in some cases , as it was with Miguel Rodriquez , it may have well been a gun brought to school ! ! The results are the same . His life is still over . Make no mistake : this type of inaction has been going on for as long as I can remember ! ! It 's always been much easier for these teachers , principles , law enforcement agencies to shrug it off , to look the other way , to write it off to " boys being boys " , " kids being kids " , or " horseplaying " . But , when the kid who complained ends up dead , please figure out a way to explain … not to me but to the families of these young people you failed to take seriously and protect … how that was " boys being boys " , " kids being kids " , or " horseplaying " . Said another facebook blog page member : … sounds like one of the administrators at the high school I went to when I was attacked . She SOOO didn 't believe I was attacked when you could see the bruises already and my hair was messed up and clothes were dirty . And to top it off , they hid the truth . They covered up what happened . There absolutely must be accountability , especially in the event of a suicide . There has to be some ramifications for parents having to live the rest of their lives with the pain of not having their son or daughter in their lives anymore because a . ) their schoolmate thought it was fun or cool to verbally , emotionally , or sometimes physically abuse them to the point where they couldn 't take it anymore ; and , b . ) no one in a position of authority did anything to remedy the situation . There . Must . Be . Accountability . Miguel 's mother has the documentation that proves that she did everything she was supposed to do to protect her son , and the school simply dropped the ball . My hope is that this is the starting point for the necessary change . It is also my hope that someone is held accountable for this tragedy . Bullying , and bully - related suicide , isn 't restricted to the U . S . borders . It 's happening worldwide . The stories and the circumstances really don 't vary that much : one or more misguided kid dealing with his or her own self - esteem issues , or just trying to fit in , verbally , emotionally , or sometimes physically abuses one of their peers to the point where that peer can 't take anymore and ends his / her life . Add to that , the " official " response to it is also quite universal … to the point of frustration . Joshua James Maddox was a month away from celebrating his 16th birthday . He apparently dealt with Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder for which he " suffered months of cruel taunts from classmates " . He also had a girlfriend who was two years younger than himself , for which he was labeled and " paedo " and , again , taunted brutally . I woke up earlier this week to a voicemail from a distraught , tearful mother who had just lost her young son to yet another bully - related suicide . It was heartbreaking to hear the depth of her pain . Through my own tears , I was reminded how real this is and how devastated families are following these tragedies . I was reminded that we need to be doing much , much more to prevent this from continuing to happen . Here 's the deal : this is not going to get any better until we truly reach the point where we say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ! ! ! and truly mean it . It 's that simple . Parents of the bullies must be held accountable for their kids actions , especially when their child 's actions lead to the death of another child . The bullies , themselves , must be held accountable , especially when their actions lead to the death of another person . The school " officials " absolutely must be held accountable when they fail to take action to prevent bullying to continue to fester in their classrooms and schools . The only way out of this is total accountability ! As long as no one has to answer for these life - changing tragedies , they are going to continue to happen . Those are the words of Joshua 's heartbroken mother , but they could be the words of many , many other mothers , and fathers , of past suicide victims whose child had endured insufferable bullying . They are also the words that are now being echoed around this country and around the world . There HAS to be accountability ! ! ! It 's becoming increasingly hard for me to believe anything other than the fact that these bullies simply do not care about human life . They have no regards for the lives of others . Bullying and bully - related suicides are in the news with such regularity , the only way to not know what 's going on is to live with your head tucked safely in a place where the sun doesn 't typically reach . There are still those who say that these young bullies should face no punishment , that they should not be held accountable when their actions lead directly to one of their schoolmates ends his / her life . There are still those who say that we need to coddle the bullies because they are dealing with issues , themselves . To those people , I will simply say tell that to some of these parents who are now left with unfathomable grief , with a gaping hole right in the middle of their hearts and lives , for the rest of their lives ! ! Explain to the grieving mother who just told me , through tears , that she just wants to hear her son sing again that his bullies shouldn 't be held accountable . Tell Joshua 's parents that the bullies who tormented her son because he had ADHD and a girlfriend 2 years younger than himself that no one should be held accountable for her having to live the rest of her life without her talented son . You can 't . And , you know why you can 't ? Easy answer . You can 't because you 're speaking theoretically . You would have a much different point of view if this were your own child or someone close to your life . Then , you , too , would want to see heads roll . There has to be accountability . Anything less than that , and we 're sending the message that these young lives are expendable . They 're certainly not . Buddy was a bright , shining star in the lives of his family and friends . He had a life full of enormous potential and possibilities ahead of him . But , like many of those who went before him , he couldn 't get past the bullied he endured . It is known by the school , who was responsible for the relentless bullying that Buddy endured . His parents did everything the right way and was at the school regularly . They were told that the boys responsible for the bullying would be removed from the school . That never happened . It goes even deeper than that , actually . In what is becoming a disturbing trend , it appears that Buddy 's mother took all the right steps , reported everything that needed to be reported , was persistent in trying to protect her son , but the school system failed her . And , ultimately , Buddy . Earlier , there was a bit of a debate about bullying on the facebook blog page . A couple of people were voicing the opinion that those who are being bullied should " get a backbone " and " stand up to their bully " , that would make the bullying magically disappear . That 's a great , macho response . And , perhaps , it 's worked for some . But , rest assured that that is not the way we 're going to overcome this menace that 's claiming so many lives . Buddy Peterson is a prime example of why that mentality , that " solution " , is grossly ineffective . Buddy Peterson was a second - degree Black Belt in the Martial Art of Tae Kwon Do . A second degree Black Belt . Being able to defend himself was certainly not an issue . Yet , the bullying he endured was too much for him to handle . Why ? Simple answer : the bullying Buddy Peterson endured had nothing to do with physical bullying . He wasn 't being physically attacked or pushed around . Rather , his torture was of the psychological and emotional brand . It 's time to have a very open and honest discussion about bullying . I don 't mean engaging your CAP LOCK and typing " BULLYING SUCKS " or " STOP BULLYING " . We 've seen how effective that is . It 's time to really have a much deeper , broader conversation about : It 's obvious that the bullying prevention programs that are currently in place in schools today are largely ineffective . Zero tolerance has proven to have no meaning . It 's still going on on a regular basis , little - to - nothing is being done about it , and these young people are still ending their lives because of it . I 'm not okay with that . No one should be ! One thing that 's become obvious is that bullying has many different faces . It 's not just the name calling , it 's the physical abuse . It 's not only emotional warfare , it 's exclusionary actions . Talk to 10 different people , you 'll get 8 different answers . That 's the U . S . trying to tackle Al Qaeda . We know it 's there , we see the devastating harm it does , there 's no specific place to go to fight and eradicate it . In the homes ? In schools , with better bully prevention measures in place ? In schools , with more , and more stringent ! , accountability for the school staff ? With the students ? As I see it , the starting point is no mystery , actually . THIS HAS TO START WITH THE ADULTS ! ! What we 're seeing in the schools with the young people is simply a manifestation of what they are learning , either directly or indirectly , from the adult influences in their lives . It 's . That . Simple . What 's not as simply , however , is expecting all adults to simultaneously and instantaneously change their behaviors so that they 're being better , more positive role models for the young . Negative , spiteful people will always be around . So , to combat this at its core , it has to be done in the homes . That is where the ball is being dropped . Period . And , that dropped ball is costing lives . There 's still more that needs to be done . Starting in the homes only attacks the head of the beast . Meanwhile , in every single school across this country , and around the world , there 's bullying going on right now , as I type this . And , at least one of those cases of bullying will lead to another teen suicide ! Will … not " might " . This war on bullying will be won in the homes , with the parents . However , this war 's " battlefield " is the classroom , the school bus , the school yard , the cell phone , the Internet . That 's where it needs to be " contained " . And , the only way that 's ever going to happen is we must get serious about ending this path of destruction we 're on . And , if my child were being cyberbullied , that 's an easy one : their computer usage if restricted to " in common area only " and is heavily monitored . Period . Their cell phones would no longer have texting capability . It 's a matter of life and death . To look at it any differently is to invite this to continue to escalate . I , for one , don 't want to see that happen . This is war . The battlefield is the classrooms , the hallways , the school yard , the school bus , the Internet , the cell phones . The troops on the front line are your kids ! ! ! The U . S . is winning the war against Al Qaeda . We 're going to win the war against bullying . It 's time to stop shaking our collective heads and saying " this has to stop " and get busy with the business of making it stop .
|
Even though you haven 't been reading about them here over the past month , the teen suicides - LGBT and straight , alike - have been steadily mounting . And , even now , with the news of the Boston Marathon bombing dominating the news ( and , rightfully so ) , the teen suicides continue . What really gets under my skin is how little attention these tragic events get even as the death toll continues to climb . I 've said it before , and it 's worth saying again and again : it 's as if these young people 's lives are expendable . They . Are . Not . Yesterday , April 15th , 13 - year - old Nigel Hardy was reported missing after being suspended from school for defending himself in school against bullies . Seeing that news circulate on facebook made me nervous , at best . Fear of the worst set in quickly . Word spread very quickly in Palmdale , where he lived and went to school . His father found a suicide note in his bedroom Monday morning and then noticed his handgun was missing . The school Nigel attended , Hillview Middle School , was placed on " heightened awareness " , basically lockdown . Monday night , Nigel was found . Shortly after , he was pronounced dead at an Antelope Valley hospital . Nigel , who turned 13 only last Thursday , April 11th , was a cheerleader at his middle school . Apparently , that led to his being bullied . Various news reports say that he had gotten in a fight with his bully , or bullies , and that led to him being suspended . He became despondent over that . Now , he 's gone . Where does this end ? When do we seriously and honestly reach the point where we 've seen enough carnage and devastation that comes with these teen suicides and their aftermath ? When do we stop making excuses for the ones responsible for pushing these young people to the edge and start holding them accountable ? When is enough truly enough ? I don 't think anyone can answer that , and that 's what has become overwhelmingly frustrating for me . No one has any answers ! ! No one has any solutions ! ! And , to add insult to injury , our government officials are paying attention to any - and everything but the fact that bullying and the related teen suicides have reached epidemic proportions . Instead , we 're continuously dished the same , tired rhetorical responses . We 're still getting the " boys will be boys " , " kids will be kids " spiel that we 've been hearing for far too long , now . Nigel 's suicide is not the first one where the person ( s ) involved in the bullying are known . What is being done about the fact that their actions cost another teenager his life ! ! ? ? Here in Maryland last year , there was a horrific traffic accident involving four young people who were best of friends . They 'd been partying , and the driver certainly should not have been driving . Three of them died in the accident . The driver survived . He 's now serving a lengthy prison sentence for his actions . Why ? Because his actions led to the deaths of his three friends . He was held accountable . These young people who terrorize their schoolmates , or sometimes even strangers online ! , to the point where the victim ends their lives get nothing ! There is zero accountability ! ! And , that , as much as anything , is a major part of the problem . As long as they know they can continue to do this without any risk of repercussion , they will continue . Not only that , but their actions will continue to escalate . It 's really just that simple . We agreed , ahem , to disagree . I do understand that these menaces have issues going on in their own lives that causes them to do the things they do . In many , if not most ! , cases , it 's a very bad living condition at home . That 's a whole different issue for another time . And , I 'm all for getting them the help they need to become better , more productive , and less menacing people . That is , when there isn 't a death attached to their name and their actions . Understand this : it is 2013 . The " Information Age " is maturing . There is 100 % absolutely NO WAY that Nigel Hardy 's bullies didn 't know that there are teens committing suicide NEARLY EVERYDAY ! ! , and bullying is often the root of it ! ! NO . WAY . They KNOW this is happening ! It 's impossible for them to NOT know . Period . Accept that . It 's impossible for these kids to NOT know that their actions could very well lead to yet another suicide . We 've MUST understand and accept this reality ! And , the reason why it 's so vital that we , as adults , come to this understanding of what really going on is because , once we accept the reality that they KNOW what they 're doing could very well lead to yet another suicide , we can accept the reality that they absolutely must be held accountable for their actions . Anything less than that , and we 're only fooling ourselves . These young people are telling us , as loudly as they can , that they don 't care if their victim kills themselves ! ! In some cases , they even TELL the victim to " go kill yourself " , " nobody would care if you died " , and worse . How can we NOT hold them accountable for their actions ! How can we even dream of coddling the perpetrators when there is a devastated , grieving family who will never , ever have their young , loved one to coddle anymore ? How is that even justifiable ? It 's not . This has gone much , much too far . The time has long since passed for us to take some serious action that will prevent this from continuing to happen . As loudly as people are shouting for marriage equality , so , too , should the voices be raised for our school officials , our law enforcement agencies , and our lawmakers to get off their collective asses and start making some real changes in policies that will prevent these teen suicides to continue to mount . Anything less , and we 're only spinning our wheels as yet another family mourns . We 'll never know how brightly Nigel 's star would 've shone . Rest in peace , young man . This is horrific news out of Detroit today : 13 - year - old Tyler Nichols brought a gun to school this morning and shot himself in a school bathroom . He died later in the day at a nearby hospital . Obviously , it 's still much too early to know any of the details , or the " whys " , of why he ended his young life . At this moment , bullying does not appear to be the factor . What is known at this time is that Tyler secured a legally registered gun from an unidentified relative and brought it into the school today . Somewhere around 8 : 00 this morning , he reportedly went to a bathroom on another floor and shot himself . One of his schoolmates found him lying on the floor and notified school officials . Soon after , the school was placed on lockdown as police investigated . At the hospital , a suicide note was reportedly found somewhere on Tyler 's person . Few details have been given , at this point , as to the contents of the note . However , one thing that is being reported is that he did say that he was " … sick of all the drama … " in his life . Again , only those closest to him will understand what that means , and we won 't speculate . What 's important is that , for whatever reason , a 13 - year - old felt so overwhelmed with whatever " drama " he had going on his life that he saw no way out but to simply end his life . The enormity of this tragedy hasn 't even set in , yet . As he was reportedly a very popular and intelligent students , his classmates … and teachers will be forever affected by what happened Thursday morning at Davidson Middle School . But , it 's his family who will live the rest of their lives with the relentless grief of knowing that Tyler is gone for good . It 's a pain no parent should ever , ever ! , have to go through . As the gun control debate continues to gather momentum across the country , one question that I 'm sure will be raised is why was it so easy for him to get ahold of a loaded gun ? That 's not to point fingers at the relative who owns the gun . I 'm sure they 're beside themselves with grief right now . Rather , it 's to ask the question : " when do we start paying attention to gun safety and gun control in this country ? " Just how many lives must be lost to gun violence before we , as a people , finally say " Enough ! ! ! Something must be done ! ! ! " ? Rallying swiftly to pay their respects to Tyler , the community gathered Thursday evening for a candlelight vigil in his memory . Hundreds attended . Undoubtedly , many of them are still trying to come to terms with what happened in their school , in their community , and in their lives today . It will be a long time before they 're able to sort it all out . However , unfortunately , right now , as I type this , the speculation machine is already in full - gear on one social media site with the standard cries about bullying . Bullying is a horrible epidemic that we face today , but not every teen suicide is a result of bullying . And , from the looks of things , at least here in the early stages , bullying was not a factor in Tyler Nichol 's suicide . What we cannot lose track of is that Tyler left behind a family that , at this very moment , is stunned by today 's actions , absolutely overwhelmed by indescribable grief and sorrow . Our focus needs to be on them , as we offer them all of the support , and condolences , we can possibly muster . They 're going to need it . What is also very apparent is that we , as a society , need to do a much , much better job at reaching out to these young people . We 're failing miserably . Every time I see another name attached to the word " suicide " , I 'm reminded that we 're not doing enough to reach them . We 're failing at making them understand that whatever pain they 're experiencing right now is temporary ! We 're failing at making them realize that their lives are worth living , that things will ( honestly ! ) get better ! We 're failing at keeping them alive long enough to understand that they 're strong enough to make it through whatever it is they 're facing . And , sadly , as we continue to fail , the number of teen suicides continues to rise . Enough ! To the family of Tyler Nichols , I send my deepest sympathy . I can 't even fathom what you 're going through right now . Rest in peace , Tyler . With " bully " , " bullying " , and " bullycide " now a part of our everyday vernacular , it 's easy to lose track of the real fact that bullying isn 't the only driving force behind teen suicide . Depression , as well as other mental illnesses , also play a large roll in it . Depression , perhaps , just as much as bullying . In fact , some say that depression is the leading cause of suicides . I received word late last week that 17 - year - old Hannah Gabriel Myer ended her life on Wednesday , March 13th after a long battle with depression . The person with whom I spoke will remain anonymous , but she was a longtime friend of Hannah 's . The picture she painted of the struggles her friend endured was heartbreaking : We lived in Colorado Springs Colorado . She loved to ski and was 6 in our league . She was a beautiful girl who didn 't like herself . Her family was very rich , and none of her parents ever paid attention to her . Her nanny always took care of her . She also had bulimia , but I was the only one who knew . She used to cut . She loved her dog so much , and she told me Spencer , the dog , would be the only reason she stayed . I have Spencer now . Her parents weren 't around much before she died , so they have asked me a lot . Like , what would she want at her funeral . If she wanted a funeral . Her favorite song , etc . She had a 4 . 0 and was in 3 APs . She was basically the perfect child but was cracking under pressure and couldn 't tell anyone . I was the only one who knew , and I 've told counselors etc . But , no one did anything . And , now she 's gone . She was just so beautiful and should never have died . This beautiful girl had parents who didn 't know who their daughter was . I 'm sure that , now that she 's gone , they regret having missed out on sharing in on more of her life . That they can no longer make amends and get to know their lovely daughter is equally as tragic as the suicide , itself . This beautiful girl had a friend , who was her de facto family , in the true sense of the word , who tried to save her friend but knew in the end that " … whatever I do was never going to be enough . " I don 't know which is more frustrating : the fact that , at least in Hannah 's mind , her parents were too busy with their own lives , or the fact that her friend tried getting her counseling but no one did anything . Either of the two is bad enough . Either of the two could be enough , on their own , to lead an already - fragile person over the edge . Together , they form a lethal combination that proved too much for Hannah Myers to overcome . Now she 's gone . Now , her parents are struggling to learn who their daughter was through her friend while coping with the devastation of losing a child . This is never easy for anyone . For as beautiful as Hannah was , I find it haunting to see the level of obvious pain in her eyes . I wondered if that was just my imagination working after the fact . I was assured by her friend , however , that the pain I thought I saw was , in fact , very real and very visible to anyone who took the time to notice . Her response to my question of whether it was my imagination , or was I able to see the pain in her eyes was : " You can . I saw , but no one else did " . It 's never easy to write about these teen suicides . In fact , it gets harder every time . Like most teen suicides , if not all , this could 've so easily been avoided . Hannah Myer didn 't have to die ! Once again , we see an instance where sheer negligence led to the untimely death of a young person . The attempt was made to get her some much - needed therapy and counseling by a trained professional . Nothing was done . Again . And , once again , we 're left wondering what is it going to take to get people - adults ! ! - to realize that we 've got a major epidemic on our hands ! ? Why are so many young people dying by their own hands with nothing being done about it ! ? That is what 's most infuriating ! ! It 's almost as if the message that is being sent is that these young lives are expendable . That 's a tough pill to swallow ; however , the redundancy of the situations surrounding far - too - many of these teen suicides makes it easy for one to walk away with that impression . Certainly , more can be done to prevent them from happening . Obviously , more needs to be done to prevent them from happening . As one parent of a recent suicide victim put it : “… Look at the kids . They 're reaching out to us , and we owe them more than what we 're giving them . " That , from a parent who lost a teenager to suicide . We can do more . We must do much more . Through this blog , you , Hannah , will never be forgotten . Though most of the people who will read this never knew you , they will never forget you . Or , your smile . Or , the pain in your eyes . I hope you are now at peace . Where do I start ? This has me numb . A nine - year - old boy has ended his life because of bullying . You wouldn 't know it by reading this , but just typing that caused me to walk away from the keyboard for a bit in order to re - collect my thought . It 's truly that mind - numbing . Focus . This is too much . My mind doesn 't want to go here . Focus . Aaron Dugmore committed suicide at age 9 because of what amounts to racist bullying . Racist bullying that , once again ! , nothing was done to prevent . It 's not just in this country : it 's a worldwide lack of caring ! ! That lack of caring breeds inaction . The inaction allows the bullying to continue to fester and the suicides to continue to mount . Aaron Dugmore was 9 ! ! Where does this end ? Where is the line drawn ! ? You tell a parent who is coming to you out of concern that her nine - year - old son is being constantly bullied , and instead of acting upon her complaint and concern , " you didn 't have to come to this school , you chose to come here . You blame her for her choice in schools . Then , the nine - year - old son ends up dead because he felt , at nine - years - old ! ! ! , helpless and hopeless . No matter how you attempt to spin it , the death of this 9 - year - old boy is on your hands for life . That , unfortunately , won 't bring Aaron back to his family , will it ? Holding this callous " school administrator " responsible ( which I sincerely hope is done ! ) won 't put that smile back on his face and back into the hearts of his parents . Finding these young racists who bullied Aaron to the point of no return and expelling them from school as well as holding them legally accountable for his death won 't bring him back , either . All of the above would be a great place to start ; however , all of the options are reactive as opposed to being proactive . And , as long as we continue to be reactive in our response to these tragedies , this epidemic will continue to escalate . If I had the one , definitive answer that would end this once and for all , it would 've ended years ago . Rather , I do have some ideas that I think would make an enormous difference in the culture we 're seeing today . There are certainly things that could , and should , be done that will make a difference : An absolute must has to be accountability . The current culture of " there are no reported incidents … " has to come to an abrupt end . In the majority of these cases , the bullying has been reported to " school officials " . In a recent case , it was even well - documented ! In the case of Aaron Dugmore , however , his mother was told that she " chose to send him " to that school , which is to absolve themselves of any responsibility and place the blame on the mother ! Teachers , and school administrators , are responsible for the safety and well - being of the students in their care . Period . If they are unable to provide them a safe environment , they need to find another profession . Too many lives are being affected by their negligence . And , needless to say , far too many lives are being lost . There needs to be accountability for the parents of the bullies , as well . That bullying is leading some to a lifetime of emotional problems is very well - documented . Even in the cases where the bullying doesn 't lead to teen suicide , the emotional scars run very deep . And , then there are the instances where the bullying does lead to suicide ! The bullies need to be identified , and their parents need to be held just as accountable as the child who committed the act of bullying . Some will say that 's easier said than done . I say not . It all starts in the home . One of two things are occurring : either the home environment is one that fosters and promotes bullying , of the lack of parental control is such that these young people are free to do as they please , with no worry of consequences . In either case , the results are far - reaching and devastating . Most importantly , the young person ( s ) involved in acts of bullying absolutely must be held accountable . In Maryland , just yesterday , a 15 - year - old boy was sentenced to 35 years for shooting one of his schoolmates on the first day of school . No one died , and the shooting victim is back in school . Aaron Dugmore can 't go back to school . Neither can the many , many other victims of suicide because of bullying . His actions didn 't kill anyone , yet the 15 - year - old teenager here in Maryland will be in prison until his 40s at the earliest . The actions of some of these bullies are leading directly to the death of their victims , yet they are not being held accountable ! ! ! How are we , as a society , continuing to allow that to happen ? Am I saying that all bullies need to be locked up for decades ? Of course not . What I am saying , though , is that as long as they know ( and , understand that they are well aware ! ) that there will be no consequences for their actions of intolerance and , in some cases , hatred , they have no reason to even reconsider their actions . It 's time to get very serious about the bullying and related youth suicide issue that we 're seeing . Bemoaning another loss and mourning their death is a perfectly natural response ; however , it 's time to demand action that will prevent this from continuing to happen . Right now , with the climate currently in place , we 're seeing a lot for posturing . Smoke and mirrors . Ineffective " zero tolerance " anti - bullying policies , policies that look great on paper and sound really good to tell parents and the media , but do absolutely nothing to address this continuing problem . And , sadly , the only way this is going to end is for you , the concerned parents and citizens , to stand up , make sure your voices are heard as you tell them that you 've had enough of reading about yet another young person ending his / her life because of bullying . Tell them how empty your home , and your heart , is without your young son or daughter who was bullied to the point where they saw no other way out but to end their life . There really is power in numbers . You 've read it here many times before . The school " officials " and administrators absolutely must be held accountable in cases of bullying especially when it results in the suicide death of the one being bullied . Of course , their " out " is always , always , always , " there are no documented incidents of bullying … " . Well , now there are . Miguel Rodriquez was just 12 - years - old when he ended his life . He had suffered brutal bullying from schoolmates that his mother acted upon and documented . " My son Miguel Rodriguez is a victim of constant bullying . Since he started school at West Hernando he has been shoved from behind while on his knees , kicked in his privates , kicked in his head , name calling , constantly being hit and thrown with a full water bottle to his face . All these incidents have been reported , documented and in some cases handled . " ( Hernando Today ) If you think this is an exception , think again . This is the rule ! ! This is how this instances of bullying are being handled all around the country and probably around the developed world . What makes this stand out is that Miguel 's mother has documented proof against the school officials claims of " … no incidents [ of reported bullying ] documented " . Miguel did what he 's been told to do when there 's bullying involved : he reported it to an adult . Miguel 's mother did everything she was supposed to do as a parent : she became rigorously involved , and she very wisely documented everything that was going on . Yet , it didn 't stop the bullying from happening . And , because it didn 't stop the bullying , it didn 't stop Miguel from ending his life . What this finally gives us a very clear illustration of is something I , for one , have been saying for quite a while now : " they " simply don 't care about bullying ! ! To many , including many school officials , law enforcement officials , even parents , the " boys will be boys " , " kids will be kids " is very prevalent . With that attitude firmly entrenched in our society , it 's no wonder we 're seeing a redundancy not just in the instances of bullying but , just as importantly , the response from people who should be making a difference . It 's really as simple as that . Regardless of your own personal beliefs , if a child is coming to you and complaining that ( s ) he is being bullied , for whatever reason , that complaint needs to be taken seriously ! ! It needs to be taken as seriously as them telling you that one of their classmates brought a gun to school and threatened him or her . It 's that serious ! Why ? Because in some cases , as it was with Miguel Rodriquez , it may have well been a gun brought to school ! ! The results are the same . His life is still over . Make no mistake : this type of inaction has been going on for as long as I can remember ! ! It 's always been much easier for these teachers , principles , law enforcement agencies to shrug it off , to look the other way , to write it off to " boys being boys " , " kids being kids " , or " horseplaying " . But , when the kid who complained ends up dead , please figure out a way to explain … not to me but to the families of these young people you failed to take seriously and protect … how that was " boys being boys " , " kids being kids " , or " horseplaying " . Said another facebook blog page member : … sounds like one of the administrators at the high school I went to when I was attacked . She SOOO didn 't believe I was attacked when you could see the bruises already and my hair was messed up and clothes were dirty . And to top it off , they hid the truth . They covered up what happened . There absolutely must be accountability , especially in the event of a suicide . There has to be some ramifications for parents having to live the rest of their lives with the pain of not having their son or daughter in their lives anymore because a . ) their schoolmate thought it was fun or cool to verbally , emotionally , or sometimes physically abuse them to the point where they couldn 't take it anymore ; and , b . ) no one in a position of authority did anything to remedy the situation . There . Must . Be . Accountability . Miguel 's mother has the documentation that proves that she did everything she was supposed to do to protect her son , and the school simply dropped the ball . My hope is that this is the starting point for the necessary change . It is also my hope that someone is held accountable for this tragedy . Bullying , and bully - related suicide , isn 't restricted to the U . S . borders . It 's happening worldwide . The stories and the circumstances really don 't vary that much : one or more misguided kid dealing with his or her own self - esteem issues , or just trying to fit in , verbally , emotionally , or sometimes physically abuses one of their peers to the point where that peer can 't take anymore and ends his / her life . Add to that , the " official " response to it is also quite universal … to the point of frustration . Joshua James Maddox was a month away from celebrating his 16th birthday . He apparently dealt with Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder for which he " suffered months of cruel taunts from classmates " . He also had a girlfriend who was two years younger than himself , for which he was labeled and " paedo " and , again , taunted brutally . I woke up earlier this week to a voicemail from a distraught , tearful mother who had just lost her young son to yet another bully - related suicide . It was heartbreaking to hear the depth of her pain . Through my own tears , I was reminded how real this is and how devastated families are following these tragedies . I was reminded that we need to be doing much , much more to prevent this from continuing to happen . Here 's the deal : this is not going to get any better until we truly reach the point where we say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ! ! ! and truly mean it . It 's that simple . Parents of the bullies must be held accountable for their kids actions , especially when their child 's actions lead to the death of another child . The bullies , themselves , must be held accountable , especially when their actions lead to the death of another person . The school " officials " absolutely must be held accountable when they fail to take action to prevent bullying to continue to fester in their classrooms and schools . The only way out of this is total accountability ! As long as no one has to answer for these life - changing tragedies , they are going to continue to happen . Those are the words of Joshua 's heartbroken mother , but they could be the words of many , many other mothers , and fathers , of past suicide victims whose child had endured insufferable bullying . They are also the words that are now being echoed around this country and around the world . There HAS to be accountability ! ! ! It 's becoming increasingly hard for me to believe anything other than the fact that these bullies simply do not care about human life . They have no regards for the lives of others . Bullying and bully - related suicides are in the news with such regularity , the only way to not know what 's going on is to live with your head tucked safely in a place where the sun doesn 't typically reach . There are still those who say that these young bullies should face no punishment , that they should not be held accountable when their actions lead directly to one of their schoolmates ends his / her life . There are still those who say that we need to coddle the bullies because they are dealing with issues , themselves . To those people , I will simply say tell that to some of these parents who are now left with unfathomable grief , with a gaping hole right in the middle of their hearts and lives , for the rest of their lives ! ! Explain to the grieving mother who just told me , through tears , that she just wants to hear her son sing again that his bullies shouldn 't be held accountable . Tell Joshua 's parents that the bullies who tormented her son because he had ADHD and a girlfriend 2 years younger than himself that no one should be held accountable for her having to live the rest of her life without her talented son . You can 't . And , you know why you can 't ? Easy answer . You can 't because you 're speaking theoretically . You would have a much different point of view if this were your own child or someone close to your life . Then , you , too , would want to see heads roll . There has to be accountability . Anything less than that , and we 're sending the message that these young lives are expendable . They 're certainly not . Buddy was a bright , shining star in the lives of his family and friends . He had a life full of enormous potential and possibilities ahead of him . But , like many of those who went before him , he couldn 't get past the bullied he endured . It is known by the school , who was responsible for the relentless bullying that Buddy endured . His parents did everything the right way and was at the school regularly . They were told that the boys responsible for the bullying would be removed from the school . That never happened . It goes even deeper than that , actually . In what is becoming a disturbing trend , it appears that Buddy 's mother took all the right steps , reported everything that needed to be reported , was persistent in trying to protect her son , but the school system failed her . And , ultimately , Buddy . Earlier , there was a bit of a debate about bullying on the facebook blog page . A couple of people were voicing the opinion that those who are being bullied should " get a backbone " and " stand up to their bully " , that would make the bullying magically disappear . That 's a great , macho response . And , perhaps , it 's worked for some . But , rest assured that that is not the way we 're going to overcome this menace that 's claiming so many lives . Buddy Peterson is a prime example of why that mentality , that " solution " , is grossly ineffective . Buddy Peterson was a second - degree Black Belt in the Martial Art of Tae Kwon Do . A second degree Black Belt . Being able to defend himself was certainly not an issue . Yet , the bullying he endured was too much for him to handle . Why ? Simple answer : the bullying Buddy Peterson endured had nothing to do with physical bullying . He wasn 't being physically attacked or pushed around . Rather , his torture was of the psychological and emotional brand . It 's time to have a very open and honest discussion about bullying . I don 't mean engaging your CAP LOCK and typing " BULLYING SUCKS " or " STOP BULLYING " . We 've seen how effective that is . It 's time to really have a much deeper , broader conversation about : It 's obvious that the bullying prevention programs that are currently in place in schools today are largely ineffective . Zero tolerance has proven to have no meaning . It 's still going on on a regular basis , little - to - nothing is being done about it , and these young people are still ending their lives because of it . I 'm not okay with that . No one should be ! One thing that 's become obvious is that bullying has many different faces . It 's not just the name calling , it 's the physical abuse . It 's not only emotional warfare , it 's exclusionary actions . Talk to 10 different people , you 'll get 8 different answers . That 's the U . S . trying to tackle Al Qaeda . We know it 's there , we see the devastating harm it does , there 's no specific place to go to fight and eradicate it . In the homes ? In schools , with better bully prevention measures in place ? In schools , with more , and more stringent ! , accountability for the school staff ? With the students ? As I see it , the starting point is no mystery , actually . THIS HAS TO START WITH THE ADULTS ! ! What we 're seeing in the schools with the young people is simply a manifestation of what they are learning , either directly or indirectly , from the adult influences in their lives . It 's . That . Simple . What 's not as simply , however , is expecting all adults to simultaneously and instantaneously change their behaviors so that they 're being better , more positive role models for the young . Negative , spiteful people will always be around . So , to combat this at its core , it has to be done in the homes . That is where the ball is being dropped . Period . And , that dropped ball is costing lives . There 's still more that needs to be done . Starting in the homes only attacks the head of the beast . Meanwhile , in every single school across this country , and around the world , there 's bullying going on right now , as I type this . And , at least one of those cases of bullying will lead to another teen suicide ! Will … not " might " . This war on bullying will be won in the homes , with the parents . However , this war 's " battlefield " is the classroom , the school bus , the school yard , the cell phone , the Internet . That 's where it needs to be " contained " . And , the only way that 's ever going to happen is we must get serious about ending this path of destruction we 're on . And , if my child were being cyberbullied , that 's an easy one : their computer usage if restricted to " in common area only " and is heavily monitored . Period . Their cell phones would no longer have texting capability . It 's a matter of life and death . To look at it any differently is to invite this to continue to escalate . I , for one , don 't want to see that happen . This is war . The battlefield is the classrooms , the hallways , the school yard , the school bus , the Internet , the cell phones . The troops on the front line are your kids ! ! ! The U . S . is winning the war against Al Qaeda . We 're going to win the war against bullying . It 's time to stop shaking our collective heads and saying " this has to stop " and get busy with the business of making it stop .
|
Even though you haven 't been reading about them here over the past month , the teen suicides - LGBT and straight , alike - have been steadily mounting . And , even now , with the news of the Boston Marathon bombing dominating the news ( and , rightfully so ) , the teen suicides continue . What really gets under my skin is how little attention these tragic events get even as the death toll continues to climb . I 've said it before , and it 's worth saying again and again : it 's as if these young people 's lives are expendable . They . Are . Not . Yesterday , April 15th , 13 - year - old Nigel Hardy was reported missing after being suspended from school for defending himself in school against bullies . Seeing that news circulate on facebook made me nervous , at best . Fear of the worst set in quickly . Word spread very quickly in Palmdale , where he lived and went to school . His father found a suicide note in his bedroom Monday morning and then noticed his handgun was missing . The school Nigel attended , Hillview Middle School , was placed on " heightened awareness " , basically lockdown . Monday night , Nigel was found . Shortly after , he was pronounced dead at an Antelope Valley hospital . Nigel , who turned 13 only last Thursday , April 11th , was a cheerleader at his middle school . Apparently , that led to his being bullied . Various news reports say that he had gotten in a fight with his bully , or bullies , and that led to him being suspended . He became despondent over that . Now , he 's gone . Where does this end ? When do we seriously and honestly reach the point where we 've seen enough carnage and devastation that comes with these teen suicides and their aftermath ? When do we stop making excuses for the ones responsible for pushing these young people to the edge and start holding them accountable ? When is enough truly enough ? I don 't think anyone can answer that , and that 's what has become overwhelmingly frustrating for me . No one has any answers ! ! No one has any solutions ! ! And , to add insult to injury , our government officials are paying attention to any - and everything but the fact that bullying and the related teen suicides have reached epidemic proportions . Instead , we 're continuously dished the same , tired rhetorical responses . We 're still getting the " boys will be boys " , " kids will be kids " spiel that we 've been hearing for far too long , now . Nigel 's suicide is not the first one where the person ( s ) involved in the bullying are known . What is being done about the fact that their actions cost another teenager his life ! ! ? ? Here in Maryland last year , there was a horrific traffic accident involving four young people who were best of friends . They 'd been partying , and the driver certainly should not have been driving . Three of them died in the accident . The driver survived . He 's now serving a lengthy prison sentence for his actions . Why ? Because his actions led to the deaths of his three friends . He was held accountable . These young people who terrorize their schoolmates , or sometimes even strangers online ! , to the point where the victim ends their lives get nothing ! There is zero accountability ! ! And , that , as much as anything , is a major part of the problem . As long as they know they can continue to do this without any risk of repercussion , they will continue . Not only that , but their actions will continue to escalate . It 's really just that simple . We agreed , ahem , to disagree . I do understand that these menaces have issues going on in their own lives that causes them to do the things they do . In many , if not most ! , cases , it 's a very bad living condition at home . That 's a whole different issue for another time . And , I 'm all for getting them the help they need to become better , more productive , and less menacing people . That is , when there isn 't a death attached to their name and their actions . Understand this : it is 2013 . The " Information Age " is maturing . There is 100 % absolutely NO WAY that Nigel Hardy 's bullies didn 't know that there are teens committing suicide NEARLY EVERYDAY ! ! , and bullying is often the root of it ! ! NO . WAY . They KNOW this is happening ! It 's impossible for them to NOT know . Period . Accept that . It 's impossible for these kids to NOT know that their actions could very well lead to yet another suicide . We 've MUST understand and accept this reality ! And , the reason why it 's so vital that we , as adults , come to this understanding of what really going on is because , once we accept the reality that they KNOW what they 're doing could very well lead to yet another suicide , we can accept the reality that they absolutely must be held accountable for their actions . Anything less than that , and we 're only fooling ourselves . These young people are telling us , as loudly as they can , that they don 't care if their victim kills themselves ! ! In some cases , they even TELL the victim to " go kill yourself " , " nobody would care if you died " , and worse . How can we NOT hold them accountable for their actions ! How can we even dream of coddling the perpetrators when there is a devastated , grieving family who will never , ever have their young , loved one to coddle anymore ? How is that even justifiable ? It 's not . This has gone much , much too far . The time has long since passed for us to take some serious action that will prevent this from continuing to happen . As loudly as people are shouting for marriage equality , so , too , should the voices be raised for our school officials , our law enforcement agencies , and our lawmakers to get off their collective asses and start making some real changes in policies that will prevent these teen suicides to continue to mount . Anything less , and we 're only spinning our wheels as yet another family mourns . We 'll never know how brightly Nigel 's star would 've shone . Rest in peace , young man . This is horrific news out of Detroit today : 13 - year - old Tyler Nichols brought a gun to school this morning and shot himself in a school bathroom . He died later in the day at a nearby hospital . Obviously , it 's still much too early to know any of the details , or the " whys " , of why he ended his young life . At this moment , bullying does not appear to be the factor . What is known at this time is that Tyler secured a legally registered gun from an unidentified relative and brought it into the school today . Somewhere around 8 : 00 this morning , he reportedly went to a bathroom on another floor and shot himself . One of his schoolmates found him lying on the floor and notified school officials . Soon after , the school was placed on lockdown as police investigated . At the hospital , a suicide note was reportedly found somewhere on Tyler 's person . Few details have been given , at this point , as to the contents of the note . However , one thing that is being reported is that he did say that he was " … sick of all the drama … " in his life . Again , only those closest to him will understand what that means , and we won 't speculate . What 's important is that , for whatever reason , a 13 - year - old felt so overwhelmed with whatever " drama " he had going on his life that he saw no way out but to simply end his life . The enormity of this tragedy hasn 't even set in , yet . As he was reportedly a very popular and intelligent students , his classmates … and teachers will be forever affected by what happened Thursday morning at Davidson Middle School . But , it 's his family who will live the rest of their lives with the relentless grief of knowing that Tyler is gone for good . It 's a pain no parent should ever , ever ! , have to go through . As the gun control debate continues to gather momentum across the country , one question that I 'm sure will be raised is why was it so easy for him to get ahold of a loaded gun ? That 's not to point fingers at the relative who owns the gun . I 'm sure they 're beside themselves with grief right now . Rather , it 's to ask the question : " when do we start paying attention to gun safety and gun control in this country ? " Just how many lives must be lost to gun violence before we , as a people , finally say " Enough ! ! ! Something must be done ! ! ! " ? Rallying swiftly to pay their respects to Tyler , the community gathered Thursday evening for a candlelight vigil in his memory . Hundreds attended . Undoubtedly , many of them are still trying to come to terms with what happened in their school , in their community , and in their lives today . It will be a long time before they 're able to sort it all out . However , unfortunately , right now , as I type this , the speculation machine is already in full - gear on one social media site with the standard cries about bullying . Bullying is a horrible epidemic that we face today , but not every teen suicide is a result of bullying . And , from the looks of things , at least here in the early stages , bullying was not a factor in Tyler Nichol 's suicide . What we cannot lose track of is that Tyler left behind a family that , at this very moment , is stunned by today 's actions , absolutely overwhelmed by indescribable grief and sorrow . Our focus needs to be on them , as we offer them all of the support , and condolences , we can possibly muster . They 're going to need it . What is also very apparent is that we , as a society , need to do a much , much better job at reaching out to these young people . We 're failing miserably . Every time I see another name attached to the word " suicide " , I 'm reminded that we 're not doing enough to reach them . We 're failing at making them understand that whatever pain they 're experiencing right now is temporary ! We 're failing at making them realize that their lives are worth living , that things will ( honestly ! ) get better ! We 're failing at keeping them alive long enough to understand that they 're strong enough to make it through whatever it is they 're facing . And , sadly , as we continue to fail , the number of teen suicides continues to rise . Enough ! To the family of Tyler Nichols , I send my deepest sympathy . I can 't even fathom what you 're going through right now . Rest in peace , Tyler . With " bully " , " bullying " , and " bullycide " now a part of our everyday vernacular , it 's easy to lose track of the real fact that bullying isn 't the only driving force behind teen suicide . Depression , as well as other mental illnesses , also play a large roll in it . Depression , perhaps , just as much as bullying . In fact , some say that depression is the leading cause of suicides . I received word late last week that 17 - year - old Hannah Gabriel Myer ended her life on Wednesday , March 13th after a long battle with depression . The person with whom I spoke will remain anonymous , but she was a longtime friend of Hannah 's . The picture she painted of the struggles her friend endured was heartbreaking : We lived in Colorado Springs Colorado . She loved to ski and was 6 in our league . She was a beautiful girl who didn 't like herself . Her family was very rich , and none of her parents ever paid attention to her . Her nanny always took care of her . She also had bulimia , but I was the only one who knew . She used to cut . She loved her dog so much , and she told me Spencer , the dog , would be the only reason she stayed . I have Spencer now . Her parents weren 't around much before she died , so they have asked me a lot . Like , what would she want at her funeral . If she wanted a funeral . Her favorite song , etc . She had a 4 . 0 and was in 3 APs . She was basically the perfect child but was cracking under pressure and couldn 't tell anyone . I was the only one who knew , and I 've told counselors etc . But , no one did anything . And , now she 's gone . She was just so beautiful and should never have died . This beautiful girl had parents who didn 't know who their daughter was . I 'm sure that , now that she 's gone , they regret having missed out on sharing in on more of her life . That they can no longer make amends and get to know their lovely daughter is equally as tragic as the suicide , itself . This beautiful girl had a friend , who was her de facto family , in the true sense of the word , who tried to save her friend but knew in the end that " … whatever I do was never going to be enough . " I don 't know which is more frustrating : the fact that , at least in Hannah 's mind , her parents were too busy with their own lives , or the fact that her friend tried getting her counseling but no one did anything . Either of the two is bad enough . Either of the two could be enough , on their own , to lead an already - fragile person over the edge . Together , they form a lethal combination that proved too much for Hannah Myers to overcome . Now she 's gone . Now , her parents are struggling to learn who their daughter was through her friend while coping with the devastation of losing a child . This is never easy for anyone . For as beautiful as Hannah was , I find it haunting to see the level of obvious pain in her eyes . I wondered if that was just my imagination working after the fact . I was assured by her friend , however , that the pain I thought I saw was , in fact , very real and very visible to anyone who took the time to notice . Her response to my question of whether it was my imagination , or was I able to see the pain in her eyes was : " You can . I saw , but no one else did " . It 's never easy to write about these teen suicides . In fact , it gets harder every time . Like most teen suicides , if not all , this could 've so easily been avoided . Hannah Myer didn 't have to die ! Once again , we see an instance where sheer negligence led to the untimely death of a young person . The attempt was made to get her some much - needed therapy and counseling by a trained professional . Nothing was done . Again . And , once again , we 're left wondering what is it going to take to get people - adults ! ! - to realize that we 've got a major epidemic on our hands ! ? Why are so many young people dying by their own hands with nothing being done about it ! ? That is what 's most infuriating ! ! It 's almost as if the message that is being sent is that these young lives are expendable . That 's a tough pill to swallow ; however , the redundancy of the situations surrounding far - too - many of these teen suicides makes it easy for one to walk away with that impression . Certainly , more can be done to prevent them from happening . Obviously , more needs to be done to prevent them from happening . As one parent of a recent suicide victim put it : “… Look at the kids . They 're reaching out to us , and we owe them more than what we 're giving them . " That , from a parent who lost a teenager to suicide . We can do more . We must do much more . Through this blog , you , Hannah , will never be forgotten . Though most of the people who will read this never knew you , they will never forget you . Or , your smile . Or , the pain in your eyes . I hope you are now at peace . Where do I start ? This has me numb . A nine - year - old boy has ended his life because of bullying . You wouldn 't know it by reading this , but just typing that caused me to walk away from the keyboard for a bit in order to re - collect my thought . It 's truly that mind - numbing . Focus . This is too much . My mind doesn 't want to go here . Focus . Aaron Dugmore committed suicide at age 9 because of what amounts to racist bullying . Racist bullying that , once again ! , nothing was done to prevent . It 's not just in this country : it 's a worldwide lack of caring ! ! That lack of caring breeds inaction . The inaction allows the bullying to continue to fester and the suicides to continue to mount . Aaron Dugmore was 9 ! ! Where does this end ? Where is the line drawn ! ? You tell a parent who is coming to you out of concern that her nine - year - old son is being constantly bullied , and instead of acting upon her complaint and concern , " you didn 't have to come to this school , you chose to come here . You blame her for her choice in schools . Then , the nine - year - old son ends up dead because he felt , at nine - years - old ! ! ! , helpless and hopeless . No matter how you attempt to spin it , the death of this 9 - year - old boy is on your hands for life . That , unfortunately , won 't bring Aaron back to his family , will it ? Holding this callous " school administrator " responsible ( which I sincerely hope is done ! ) won 't put that smile back on his face and back into the hearts of his parents . Finding these young racists who bullied Aaron to the point of no return and expelling them from school as well as holding them legally accountable for his death won 't bring him back , either . All of the above would be a great place to start ; however , all of the options are reactive as opposed to being proactive . And , as long as we continue to be reactive in our response to these tragedies , this epidemic will continue to escalate . If I had the one , definitive answer that would end this once and for all , it would 've ended years ago . Rather , I do have some ideas that I think would make an enormous difference in the culture we 're seeing today . There are certainly things that could , and should , be done that will make a difference : An absolute must has to be accountability . The current culture of " there are no reported incidents … " has to come to an abrupt end . In the majority of these cases , the bullying has been reported to " school officials " . In a recent case , it was even well - documented ! In the case of Aaron Dugmore , however , his mother was told that she " chose to send him " to that school , which is to absolve themselves of any responsibility and place the blame on the mother ! Teachers , and school administrators , are responsible for the safety and well - being of the students in their care . Period . If they are unable to provide them a safe environment , they need to find another profession . Too many lives are being affected by their negligence . And , needless to say , far too many lives are being lost . There needs to be accountability for the parents of the bullies , as well . That bullying is leading some to a lifetime of emotional problems is very well - documented . Even in the cases where the bullying doesn 't lead to teen suicide , the emotional scars run very deep . And , then there are the instances where the bullying does lead to suicide ! The bullies need to be identified , and their parents need to be held just as accountable as the child who committed the act of bullying . Some will say that 's easier said than done . I say not . It all starts in the home . One of two things are occurring : either the home environment is one that fosters and promotes bullying , of the lack of parental control is such that these young people are free to do as they please , with no worry of consequences . In either case , the results are far - reaching and devastating . Most importantly , the young person ( s ) involved in acts of bullying absolutely must be held accountable . In Maryland , just yesterday , a 15 - year - old boy was sentenced to 35 years for shooting one of his schoolmates on the first day of school . No one died , and the shooting victim is back in school . Aaron Dugmore can 't go back to school . Neither can the many , many other victims of suicide because of bullying . His actions didn 't kill anyone , yet the 15 - year - old teenager here in Maryland will be in prison until his 40s at the earliest . The actions of some of these bullies are leading directly to the death of their victims , yet they are not being held accountable ! ! ! How are we , as a society , continuing to allow that to happen ? Am I saying that all bullies need to be locked up for decades ? Of course not . What I am saying , though , is that as long as they know ( and , understand that they are well aware ! ) that there will be no consequences for their actions of intolerance and , in some cases , hatred , they have no reason to even reconsider their actions . It 's time to get very serious about the bullying and related youth suicide issue that we 're seeing . Bemoaning another loss and mourning their death is a perfectly natural response ; however , it 's time to demand action that will prevent this from continuing to happen . Right now , with the climate currently in place , we 're seeing a lot for posturing . Smoke and mirrors . Ineffective " zero tolerance " anti - bullying policies , policies that look great on paper and sound really good to tell parents and the media , but do absolutely nothing to address this continuing problem . And , sadly , the only way this is going to end is for you , the concerned parents and citizens , to stand up , make sure your voices are heard as you tell them that you 've had enough of reading about yet another young person ending his / her life because of bullying . Tell them how empty your home , and your heart , is without your young son or daughter who was bullied to the point where they saw no other way out but to end their life . There really is power in numbers . You 've read it here many times before . The school " officials " and administrators absolutely must be held accountable in cases of bullying especially when it results in the suicide death of the one being bullied . Of course , their " out " is always , always , always , " there are no documented incidents of bullying … " . Well , now there are . Miguel Rodriquez was just 12 - years - old when he ended his life . He had suffered brutal bullying from schoolmates that his mother acted upon and documented . " My son Miguel Rodriguez is a victim of constant bullying . Since he started school at West Hernando he has been shoved from behind while on his knees , kicked in his privates , kicked in his head , name calling , constantly being hit and thrown with a full water bottle to his face . All these incidents have been reported , documented and in some cases handled . " ( Hernando Today ) If you think this is an exception , think again . This is the rule ! ! This is how this instances of bullying are being handled all around the country and probably around the developed world . What makes this stand out is that Miguel 's mother has documented proof against the school officials claims of " … no incidents [ of reported bullying ] documented " . Miguel did what he 's been told to do when there 's bullying involved : he reported it to an adult . Miguel 's mother did everything she was supposed to do as a parent : she became rigorously involved , and she very wisely documented everything that was going on . Yet , it didn 't stop the bullying from happening . And , because it didn 't stop the bullying , it didn 't stop Miguel from ending his life . What this finally gives us a very clear illustration of is something I , for one , have been saying for quite a while now : " they " simply don 't care about bullying ! ! To many , including many school officials , law enforcement officials , even parents , the " boys will be boys " , " kids will be kids " is very prevalent . With that attitude firmly entrenched in our society , it 's no wonder we 're seeing a redundancy not just in the instances of bullying but , just as importantly , the response from people who should be making a difference . It 's really as simple as that . Regardless of your own personal beliefs , if a child is coming to you and complaining that ( s ) he is being bullied , for whatever reason , that complaint needs to be taken seriously ! ! It needs to be taken as seriously as them telling you that one of their classmates brought a gun to school and threatened him or her . It 's that serious ! Why ? Because in some cases , as it was with Miguel Rodriquez , it may have well been a gun brought to school ! ! The results are the same . His life is still over . Make no mistake : this type of inaction has been going on for as long as I can remember ! ! It 's always been much easier for these teachers , principles , law enforcement agencies to shrug it off , to look the other way , to write it off to " boys being boys " , " kids being kids " , or " horseplaying " . But , when the kid who complained ends up dead , please figure out a way to explain … not to me but to the families of these young people you failed to take seriously and protect … how that was " boys being boys " , " kids being kids " , or " horseplaying " . Said another facebook blog page member : … sounds like one of the administrators at the high school I went to when I was attacked . She SOOO didn 't believe I was attacked when you could see the bruises already and my hair was messed up and clothes were dirty . And to top it off , they hid the truth . They covered up what happened . There absolutely must be accountability , especially in the event of a suicide . There has to be some ramifications for parents having to live the rest of their lives with the pain of not having their son or daughter in their lives anymore because a . ) their schoolmate thought it was fun or cool to verbally , emotionally , or sometimes physically abuse them to the point where they couldn 't take it anymore ; and , b . ) no one in a position of authority did anything to remedy the situation . There . Must . Be . Accountability . Miguel 's mother has the documentation that proves that she did everything she was supposed to do to protect her son , and the school simply dropped the ball . My hope is that this is the starting point for the necessary change . It is also my hope that someone is held accountable for this tragedy . Bullying , and bully - related suicide , isn 't restricted to the U . S . borders . It 's happening worldwide . The stories and the circumstances really don 't vary that much : one or more misguided kid dealing with his or her own self - esteem issues , or just trying to fit in , verbally , emotionally , or sometimes physically abuses one of their peers to the point where that peer can 't take anymore and ends his / her life . Add to that , the " official " response to it is also quite universal … to the point of frustration . Joshua James Maddox was a month away from celebrating his 16th birthday . He apparently dealt with Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder for which he " suffered months of cruel taunts from classmates " . He also had a girlfriend who was two years younger than himself , for which he was labeled and " paedo " and , again , taunted brutally . I woke up earlier this week to a voicemail from a distraught , tearful mother who had just lost her young son to yet another bully - related suicide . It was heartbreaking to hear the depth of her pain . Through my own tears , I was reminded how real this is and how devastated families are following these tragedies . I was reminded that we need to be doing much , much more to prevent this from continuing to happen . Here 's the deal : this is not going to get any better until we truly reach the point where we say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ! ! ! and truly mean it . It 's that simple . Parents of the bullies must be held accountable for their kids actions , especially when their child 's actions lead to the death of another child . The bullies , themselves , must be held accountable , especially when their actions lead to the death of another person . The school " officials " absolutely must be held accountable when they fail to take action to prevent bullying to continue to fester in their classrooms and schools . The only way out of this is total accountability ! As long as no one has to answer for these life - changing tragedies , they are going to continue to happen . Those are the words of Joshua 's heartbroken mother , but they could be the words of many , many other mothers , and fathers , of past suicide victims whose child had endured insufferable bullying . They are also the words that are now being echoed around this country and around the world . There HAS to be accountability ! ! ! It 's becoming increasingly hard for me to believe anything other than the fact that these bullies simply do not care about human life . They have no regards for the lives of others . Bullying and bully - related suicides are in the news with such regularity , the only way to not know what 's going on is to live with your head tucked safely in a place where the sun doesn 't typically reach . There are still those who say that these young bullies should face no punishment , that they should not be held accountable when their actions lead directly to one of their schoolmates ends his / her life . There are still those who say that we need to coddle the bullies because they are dealing with issues , themselves . To those people , I will simply say tell that to some of these parents who are now left with unfathomable grief , with a gaping hole right in the middle of their hearts and lives , for the rest of their lives ! ! Explain to the grieving mother who just told me , through tears , that she just wants to hear her son sing again that his bullies shouldn 't be held accountable . Tell Joshua 's parents that the bullies who tormented her son because he had ADHD and a girlfriend 2 years younger than himself that no one should be held accountable for her having to live the rest of her life without her talented son . You can 't . And , you know why you can 't ? Easy answer . You can 't because you 're speaking theoretically . You would have a much different point of view if this were your own child or someone close to your life . Then , you , too , would want to see heads roll . There has to be accountability . Anything less than that , and we 're sending the message that these young lives are expendable . They 're certainly not . Buddy was a bright , shining star in the lives of his family and friends . He had a life full of enormous potential and possibilities ahead of him . But , like many of those who went before him , he couldn 't get past the bullied he endured . It is known by the school , who was responsible for the relentless bullying that Buddy endured . His parents did everything the right way and was at the school regularly . They were told that the boys responsible for the bullying would be removed from the school . That never happened . It goes even deeper than that , actually . In what is becoming a disturbing trend , it appears that Buddy 's mother took all the right steps , reported everything that needed to be reported , was persistent in trying to protect her son , but the school system failed her . And , ultimately , Buddy . Earlier , there was a bit of a debate about bullying on the facebook blog page . A couple of people were voicing the opinion that those who are being bullied should " get a backbone " and " stand up to their bully " , that would make the bullying magically disappear . That 's a great , macho response . And , perhaps , it 's worked for some . But , rest assured that that is not the way we 're going to overcome this menace that 's claiming so many lives . Buddy Peterson is a prime example of why that mentality , that " solution " , is grossly ineffective . Buddy Peterson was a second - degree Black Belt in the Martial Art of Tae Kwon Do . A second degree Black Belt . Being able to defend himself was certainly not an issue . Yet , the bullying he endured was too much for him to handle . Why ? Simple answer : the bullying Buddy Peterson endured had nothing to do with physical bullying . He wasn 't being physically attacked or pushed around . Rather , his torture was of the psychological and emotional brand . It 's time to have a very open and honest discussion about bullying . I don 't mean engaging your CAP LOCK and typing " BULLYING SUCKS " or " STOP BULLYING " . We 've seen how effective that is . It 's time to really have a much deeper , broader conversation about : It 's obvious that the bullying prevention programs that are currently in place in schools today are largely ineffective . Zero tolerance has proven to have no meaning . It 's still going on on a regular basis , little - to - nothing is being done about it , and these young people are still ending their lives because of it . I 'm not okay with that . No one should be ! One thing that 's become obvious is that bullying has many different faces . It 's not just the name calling , it 's the physical abuse . It 's not only emotional warfare , it 's exclusionary actions . Talk to 10 different people , you 'll get 8 different answers . That 's the U . S . trying to tackle Al Qaeda . We know it 's there , we see the devastating harm it does , there 's no specific place to go to fight and eradicate it . In the homes ? In schools , with better bully prevention measures in place ? In schools , with more , and more stringent ! , accountability for the school staff ? With the students ? As I see it , the starting point is no mystery , actually . THIS HAS TO START WITH THE ADULTS ! ! What we 're seeing in the schools with the young people is simply a manifestation of what they are learning , either directly or indirectly , from the adult influences in their lives . It 's . That . Simple . What 's not as simply , however , is expecting all adults to simultaneously and instantaneously change their behaviors so that they 're being better , more positive role models for the young . Negative , spiteful people will always be around . So , to combat this at its core , it has to be done in the homes . That is where the ball is being dropped . Period . And , that dropped ball is costing lives . There 's still more that needs to be done . Starting in the homes only attacks the head of the beast . Meanwhile , in every single school across this country , and around the world , there 's bullying going on right now , as I type this . And , at least one of those cases of bullying will lead to another teen suicide ! Will … not " might " . This war on bullying will be won in the homes , with the parents . However , this war 's " battlefield " is the classroom , the school bus , the school yard , the cell phone , the Internet . That 's where it needs to be " contained " . And , the only way that 's ever going to happen is we must get serious about ending this path of destruction we 're on . And , if my child were being cyberbullied , that 's an easy one : their computer usage if restricted to " in common area only " and is heavily monitored . Period . Their cell phones would no longer have texting capability . It 's a matter of life and death . To look at it any differently is to invite this to continue to escalate . I , for one , don 't want to see that happen . This is war . The battlefield is the classrooms , the hallways , the school yard , the school bus , the Internet , the cell phones . The troops on the front line are your kids ! ! ! The U . S . is winning the war against Al Qaeda . We 're going to win the war against bullying . It 's time to stop shaking our collective heads and saying " this has to stop " and get busy with the business of making it stop .
|
Online Booking now available February 7 , 2017 / in news / by boulevardgeekJohn Michael Capaldi now provides the option to securely book and pay for sessions and services online . Head over to the " book now " link at the top right of the main page , or simply or HERE . Enjoy ! If men would search diligently their own minds , and examine minutely their thoughts and actions , they would be more cautious in censuring the conduct of others , as they would find in themselves abundantly sufficient cause for reproof . " It is a good horse that never stumbles ; " and lie is a good man indeed who cannot reproach himself with numerous slips and errors . " " Every bean has its spot , " and every man his follies and vices . Being selfish all the time July 28 , 2014 / 0 Comments / in home , news / by JohnMichael Capaldi People accuse each other of being selfish all the time . It 's a very common word used in everyday language . " You 're so selfish ! " says your parent , sibling , partner , friend , or even just your next - door neighbor . People have hijacked the word selfish by using it to their own ends . When it 's thrown your way , that familiar accusation tries to manipulate you . We have to understand what it is to be ourselves and to do for ourselves . Because if we don 't do for ourselves , we can 't do for others . There is nothing wrong with taking care of your self as well as you take care of others . But there 's a happy medium between knowing what 's selfish and what isn 't selfish . There 's an old story in the Catholic Church that my mother used to tell me when I was a kid . It 's about the pelican , who is arguably the poster - bird of unselfishness in nature . If there 's no food to be had for her hatchlings , the mama bird literally takes strip of flesh from her own body to feed them . The pelican is used as a symbol of unselfishness and sacrifice at the altar in the Catholic Church . Now , the Pelican is very admirable and all - but it 's a bird . As a human being , if you 're killing yourself to help other people , you 're not helping yourself . And if you 're not helping yourself , you 're not allowing yourself to be fed and to be taken care of . With all of that going on , you lose not just yourself - you lose everything . Over the years , I 've watched people manipulate someone else by saying , " You know , that 's selfish " or some other version of that statement . A friend called me up the other day to complain about his sister - in - law . " She just called me selfish ! Is she kidding ? I just put two of her kids through college and she 's calling me selfish ? " The sad thing about those people who are constantly screaming " Selfish ! " is that they themselves are selfish . They use manipulation of others ' fear of being selfish to get them to do what they want . Manipulation is one tactic used by people who are not self - confident . They 're willing to tear you down so that they can control you in order to put themselves ahead of you . It 's all about control - about not losing what they think they have . . It breaks my heart when I see all these wonderful and amazing people around me , and how their self - confidence is blown and their lives are damaged or destroyed by listening to someone else 's devastating trash . It 's shocking what kind of things that people will do to someone else just to get what they want , without feeling any remorse whatsoever . When a friend or family member enjoys some kind of success , it hurts some people 's egos and their illusion of who they are . They can 't believe someone else accomplished something that they can 't or haven 't . The friend 's success undermines their own self - confidence , and they immediately want to step on top of them . People mistakenly think that , in order to build up their own self - confidence , they need to be on top . It 's those people who push you down who drag everyone lower . School hazing is a prime example of putting people down , breaking a person 's self - confidence so that other can feel superior . In this way , they are literally facilitating the destruction of a friend 's self - confidence . I like to build everyone up because I believe it brings everyone higher . When it 's time for your child to learn to walk , you child - proof the house and stand them up on their own two feet . You 're there for them to make sure they don 't fall down the stairs but they 're still going to stumble as they take their first baby steps . A parent who obviously has superior skills and accomplishments is loving and encouraging , and wouldn 't dream of putting their kid down and breaking their spirit because they doesn 't know how to walk properly . Clearly , the way toward self - confidence lies in enjoying the success of everyone 's accomplishments . There 's nothing selfish in that . People who have a false sense of themselves July 26 , 2014 / 0 Comments / in home , news / by JohnMichael CapaldiPeople who have a false sense of themselves need accolades from others so much that it becomes like a drug to them . They become so self - absorbed in their own selfishness that it becomes overwhelming for who they are . Eventually , they have to live in such a way that they 're always working toward their own best interests and will trample on anyone else 's . They 're not heinous people - we reserve that description for murderers , child abusers , and rapists - but they put themselves and their needs first . They will roll over anyone who stands in their way . It 's not self - confidence that propels them forward , but ego . When you 're a young kid in school , you have all sorts of ideas about your future profession . " Mom and Dad , " you might say , " I want to be an astronaut when I grow up . " If only more parents would say , " That 's great , Timmy . I 'm really happy that you want to be an astronaut - good luck with that . But honestly , you have zero aptitude for math and you have no interest in science . You 're an English major and you love history , so perhaps you should consider a different field . " To be successful in any field , you have to have skills , talent , and luck . If you enter into a profession while understanding and accepting your limitations , you 're living in your reality , and not lying to yourself and building illusions . Your self - confidence stems from knowing who you are and living in your truth . One of my favorite people in the world lives a dual life . By day , he is a big time businessman in an expensive Armani suit . But he occasionally performs as a drag queen by night . It 's not about being perverse for him , but about needing the accolades he gets from being onstage . In the old days , he was incredibly gorgeous and could impersonate the supreme divas like Donna Summer or Diana Ross to perfection . He was actually hired by Diana Ross to impersonate her in one of her shows when she was performing in town , and he desperately wanted to become a star of Ru Paul proportions . His self - confidence - who he was , where he went , how he looked , what he did - was totally wrapped around his achievements as a drag queen . He went through some hard times while pursuing his dream , but at some point , he realized that he would never be Diana Ross . He faced the facts of his own reality , made a change in his life , and got a job in corporate America . He became a respected and powerful businessman who runs a multi - million dollar corporation , and nowadays , although his looks have faded and he 's aged a little , his self - confidence has never been higher . He pulled his reality together . He took what he thought he was - what he had created with his fake Diana Ross illusion - then really looked at what his true gifts and abilities were . He was able to believe in himself , move forward a , nd make himself into a success by having the self - confidence to no longer need the fake drag queen accolades . He dumped his illusion and instead created his reality to become a real success in the real world . Some people aren 't willing to fully embrace that you can be proud of what you have accomplished . For example , I 'm proud of what I 've done personally and professionally in my life . I can be proud of that without being arrogant about it . People often say that they have no self - confidence , but in many cases they actually do possess it , they just don 't realize that 's the name of it . Some people who have really low self - esteem or have major issues within themselves think that , because you have a good feeling about yourself , you 're bad . So many people are very unhappy and even hate themselves . Self - esteem and self - confidence can also be about self - hate . We can talk about those people who have low self - esteem who need to learn how to build it , but they 're people who just hate themselves . But for most people , all you have to do is show them that they 're loved . You can change people 's lives around by just loving them . Self - confidence comes from a place of integrity - a place of forgiving yourself . You have to forgive yourself to accept yourself and that , in turn , gives you self - confidence . When you can do that , all of your self - confidence starts to blossom , everything starts to fall into place and you can make things happen . To develop real self - confidence July 24 , 2014 / 0 Comments / in home , news / by JohnMichael Capaldi It can be especially hard for some people to develop real self - confidence because they have to throw away all of their illusions . When you believe in yourself , you have to forgive yourself for everything you 've ever done wrong . When you believe in yourself , you have to let go of all of your insecurities . Every day , you think , " I 'm not good enough , I 'm not tall enough , or pretty enough or smart enough … . " Well , it 's never about " enough . " There 's always going to be someone richer , thinner , or more intelligent out there . Psychologists like to ask their patients a classic question , " What would you do if you had all the money and power and position you needed in your life ? " Invariably , the patient will say , " If I had all of that , I would do this … . " My response is , " Do it now anyway ! " Don 't wait for the perfect scenario make an appearance . Even if the perfect scenario is there , you still wouldn 't do it because it 's never going to be perfect enough for you . If every married couple that wanted children waited around until their situation was just perfect there 'd be a lot fewer kids in the world ! You 've got to be in the here and now . Self - confidence is giving birth to yourself . When you have self - confidence , you can let go of the old shell , and the things from the past , and fully accept who you are . Once you say , " This is what I have , and this is what I 'm going to work with - this is my reality , " you 've given birth to a brand new you . It 's the Goddess who gives birth to herself to be reborn . It 's the caterpillar that emerges from its chrysalis as a beautiful butterfly . This is not a superficial makeover , but a whole new you . It 's like the story of the ugly ducking turning into a swan . The makeover has nothing to do with it . You were always that same person you just washed your face , put a clean dress on , and walked out the front door . All of a sudden , you now embody your self - confidence - not the new dress you have on , or the weight you 've lost . It 's amazing and you just move forward with who you are . When I was fat , people would take a look at my size and assume I was an insecure mess . Surprised to find out they were wrong about me , they would always ask why I was so self - confident under the circumstances . It was because I believed in me . I told myself that someday I was going to be skinny , among other things . I knew what I was going to accomplish those goals - and I have . As I looked in the mirror and saw my " big boy " reflection , I was still able to see who I really was . I knew that , owned it , and then I worked for it . Having self - confidence means that I 'm going to accomplish something . I have the self - esteem and knowledge of who I am . I have the skills , the abilities , the gifts and everything else to accomplish this goal . It 's based in reality in the here and now . I hold these pieces on the playing board and I 'm going to win the game . It 's not about just having a belief that something is going to happen , because that can be a delusion . You have to put in the energy , the time , the discipline , and the work to make something happen . You have to come from a base foundation of reality with an attainable goal . You have to have the gifts , the ability , and the knowledge to make your dreams come true . For example , I have a beautiful singing voice and I studied opera for years , but I always understood that although I was good , I wasn 't great . I recognized that I was never going to be a superstar as a singer , and I was okay with that . I was never going to be that person . I sing for myself and my friends , and my mother loves my voice , of course . But American Idol , The Voice , and the rest of those TV talent competitions shows feed into some people 's delusional ideas of talent and super - stardom while showcasing really dreadful auditions . We 've all watched the trail of truly awful , tone - deaf , wannabes parade across the stage , in pursuit of a big career in music . They have no business being there in the first place , but who gets most upset and hostile when they 're not picked for the show ? They live deep in their illusion and their self - confidence is wrapped around their ego , which is wrapped around their fakeness . They scream , " Eff you , Simon ! I 'm gonna be a star ! " and have a meltdown after a failed audition on national television , because their illusions have been attacked and they 'll fight tooth and nail to protect them . Now I 'm a very very good psychic , and there are a number of others who have accomplished a lot in this field , but I don 't position myself as the grand poohbah of psychics . There 's always that person who is better than I am . However , I use my gifts to enhance my understanding of people and the Universe - how I relate to people what I 've learned . I 'm actually a philosopher deep down inside . I understand people and their lives . I know how to live and I know how to teach people how to live . What I am exceptionally good at is teaching people how to live every single day as a happy and real person . It 's ironic that often the # 1 player , most beautiful model , and the top politician are considered the most accomplished , but they are often the least self - confident people around . You have to recognize and accept the little mistakes you do that happen every day . I understand that people are afraid of the consequences , and that fear can block their self - confidence . I teach them to face these little things every day , and step by step , they build a realistic view of themselves that establishes a strong foundation for their self - confidence . The difference between being self - confident and being conceited . July 22 , 2014 / 0 Comments / in home , news / by JohnMichael Capaldi Let 's talk about the difference between being self - confident and being conceited , arrogant , or narcissistic . There 's a huge difference that is important for people to understand . The first thing I 've learned is that people who have a giant ego love to be judgmental . You have a fake ego , which becomes a block . The minute you start having a fake ego and start believing your own BS , you 've created an illusion . And you 're off ! Back to the lies , back to the blame game , back to the guilt . When you build your illusion based on these things , you have no self - confidence and you can 't stand on your own two feet . The truth is that when you have self - confidence , no matter what anyone says about you or thinks about you no matter what 's going on , you are all together yourself . Self - confidence is when you believe in yourself , you trust yourself , you like yourself - you love yourself and you 've forgiven yourself . That 's one of the big things - to have self - confidence you have to forgive yourself and let go of all the judgments you thought were true . You 'll notice that a lot of gay men will be full of self - confidence much more than some other people who have had other accomplishments in their lives . That 's because many of them have had a hard early life . They 've gone through a lot of experiences , figured it out who they really are , and now they 're moving forward . They 're seasoned without being bitter . When you become bitter , you don 't have self - confidence . Let 's use a middle - aged divorced woman as another example . I love them ! They are powerful people because they have gone through the wars in their lives . They have accomplished things . They have had to face up to all of their stuff and move forward with it . And because of that , they have accomplished great things after the divorce - more than when they were married . Their talents come out . I have a client who was married to a B - list photographer . She supported her husband , but she was a fantastic artist in her own right . What she didn 't share with her husband was that , while his work could barely get sold , her artwork was traveling in tours throughout South America and Europe . Eventually , she came to realize that she was amazing as an artist and as a person , and that she had to leave him and get her own career together . She 's 35 years old and her life is just beginning to blossom . Self - confidence comes from a belief in yourself . In a previous post , we were talking about having to get rid of a belief in a savior or an ideology . When you stop believing in " things " , you will start believing in yourself . Whether you put your faith in God , a plant , or a pop star , you 're consigning your power to someone else . When you take your power back and use it , that 's where self - confidence comes from . I 've got clients who say , " I 'm going to be better when I find that perfect man or woman " or " I 'm going to be better when I land that dream job . " But a relationship is not going to make you better . None of that 's going to make you happy . You have to be happy here and now and you have to believe in yourself , or none of that is ever going to happen for you . Divorce , Hollywood Style July 21 , 2014 / 0 Comments / in home , news / by JohnMichael CapaldiHollywood is a place where they 'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul . - Marilyn Monroe It is also a false land full of false people who through their obsessions or ambitions have ceased to live their truth . Since they live in an artificial world some have a hard time separating reality from fantasy and the Industry itself does nothing to help facilitate anyone living in the real world . In fact , the more famous people get the more they are indulged and their everyday life is a constant retreat from reality . In many cases this is why I have rich and famous clients - they are confused . People stopped telling them the truth so long ago they can 't remember what existed before they were hand fed every thought and granted every wish . They are surrounded by " Yes people " and sometimes I just tell them " No " ! In a few instances they can 't take it but in most it helps to build trust between us . The trust I get from saying ' no ' or sometimes delivering news the celebrity client doesn 't want to hear is much more valuable than the sprinkling of people who were lost simply because their status made them unable to check their ego at this Psychic 's door . A gorgeous actress and a handsome , charismatic actor would seem to be the perfect couple . By outward appearance this match of Hollywood Royalty was perfect . By Tinsel Town standards this couple did love each other but their marriage held some dark secrets . As the darkest of these secrets were revealed the knowledge felled a circle of relationships like dominoes . Even as careers rose , these actors personal lives lost all integrity , devastating any chance for a healthy love - life … Exorcism in the Badlands July 20 , 2014 / 0 Comments / in home , news / by JohnMichael Capaldi . . all under the sweeping skies of America 's storied Badlands , a place already filled with legends of lawless acts by outlaws and gruesome deaths of the pioneers who tamed the land . The Wyoming wind stopped and the hands of something unspeakable grabbed me . Gripped by spirit and grabbed up by an unseen physical force , I was transported both by soul and body . I didn 't give an inch within to these dark demons that wanted to destroy me but I did give up about 20 feet of earth when they whipped my boy across the bluff and I ended up on the other side of the ride . My cracking ribs were in tune to the cracking windows in the village below . After the energy storm cleared and I descended into that Village I saw the balance of the destruction in the uneven walls , shattered glass and worried faces . This afternoon all the doors and minds of a band of non - believers were swung wide open . The good returned into their eyes and lifted the dark fabric that was smothering their light and business . That day , the evil that was holding on was forced back into its hellish hole … . Business not as usual July 18 , 2014 / 0 Comments / in home , news / by JohnMichael Capaldi " Taking care of business every day , taking care of business every way " BTO It 's not unusual for a professional Psychic to be known and respected in the spiritual world . This is a place of what outsiders call " Woo Woo " types and many use the term to describe anyone from an Acupuncturist to a Satan - worshiping witch . The spiritual world is full of specialists , experts and business people who do a great job of marketing themselves their beliefs and products . Spiritual authors , self - help gurus and Psychics sometimes become cross - over hits in the mainstream markets but only after they have become well known in the smaller niches . So it 's a pretty unique that I should become known as a " Business Psychic " before hitting the usual Spiritual Speaker road or having a best - seller that tells people how to make money . I came by the process naturally in a couple ways . It is a good fit for me . I am practical and I am a very good businessman myself . Business , money and the aspects of how to make and keep money come easily to me . Second , I came by the practice of doing this for corporations and companies also through natural selection . A very good client of mine was a wife of a CEO . ( This has turned out to be a typical path to business as I find women very open spiritually and they often are the early adapters . ) After a year of gentle prodding the wife convinced the CEO to see me and consider listening to what messages I might have for him about his business . I was invited to into the glass castle and was going to be interviewed by one of the nations ' top powerbrokers . Stepping into the marble tiled foyer I was greeted immediately by a young man in an expensive suit . The suit walked me through the building giving me a behind the scenes tour of the brick and mortar . Pleasant and assured , the fine - mannered man explained he was the Comptroller . Reaching the top floor of the high - rise , my guide dropped me in a cushy chair where I waitBeing Open to Your Gifts . July 17 , 2014 / 0 Comments / in news / by JohnMichael CapaldiBeing Open to Your Gifts Dear JohnMichael , Q : I have friend who I believe is a sensitive but is afraid of this gift . What advice could you give her ? What if any advice could you lend ? Thank You for your time . Dear For Your Time , A : The first thing that I learned from my mother is to never be afraid of my gifts . The Bene Gesserit mantra says that fear is the mind - killer . My mother always told me to never be afraid of what I see , feel and know as these are showing me everything the world has to offer . Having a gift as a psychic is like learning that television now comes in color . You can see all the nuances and feelings around you . It is a beautiful gift and there is nothing quite like it . If you fear what you see and what you can truly be then you are giving up on yourselves . In Plato 's dialogues , the allegory the Cave talks about people who can only see shadows against a wall and one day a man leaves the cave and sees what true life is like . When we embrace our gifts we embrace all of life and what it offers . I recommend reading that story - it is available on the internet and it is one of my favorites . My mother read it to me when I was the age of 6 and I find it to be quite powerful in understanding one 's gifts . If you have any further questions , please contact via my website www . johnmichaelcapaldi . com Page 1 of 41234
|
" By now , you all know how Nintendo chose a fundamentally different path , " said Fils - Aime . " Instead of competing for the very best players , we decided to shoot for the most players . " So basically , rather than making games for people who care about games , Nintendo wants to make games for the masses ; people who don 't care about games . I understand this money - making concept , but being a long - time Nintendo fan , this really hurts . He said many times before that he 's not forgetting the core - gamers . This means that he outright LIED to us . Hopefully with this new economy , there will be less casual gamers buying games . Nintendo will start hurting and they 'll deserve it . Then they may finally see their wrongdoing . With just a couple years left of this gaming generation ( still called " next gen " ) , I 'd like to cite a few things that the next consoles have to do in order to keep things fresh . I think we 've seen basically all we need of good graphics . That needs no improving . Here 's the list of my top 3 hopes for the next gen consoles . 1 . Complete Backward CompatibilityIs it really that hard to do this ? I think that they don 't even need to have slots for past games . I have plenty of old Nintendo games and Playstation games that I 'd love to play on my Wii and PS3 . Problem is , the Wii can only play Gamecube games while my PS3 is one of the models that can 't play past games . My proposal to fix this is to have a fairly complete library online of games from past consoles . This being pretty much done anyway , all that 's left is typing in the product code and you get a free download of that game . Fair , simple , and people will have more reason to buy a second controller . ( And if they 're real cheapskates , they could charge 10 cents . I wouldn 't mind . 2 . Small Size and Ability to Plug into Your ComputerEver since the beginning of the Gamecube , I had wanted to console games on the go . So I bought one of those tiny TVs that attach to the top of your Gamecube and plug into the car . Now this wasn 't TOO bad until I found that the screen is thin plastic that scratches , there are way too many parts that get lost , and it turns off when the car gets turned off . This could all be remedied by simply having a USB cable attached to a relatively small console ( Wii sized is good ) and an application that turns your laptop into a TV . Never again would you have to forfeit console games on a long trip . 3 . Bringing Back the Nintendo Seal of QualityNot just Nintendo , mind you . Sony and Microsoft need to make their own seal of quality . Far too many crappy or quick - cash - in games are being allowed to run free on today 's consoles . Now that I think about it though , Nintendo has been allowing the most atrocities recently . Each game on the next gen consoles must be thorPosted by I found this on Kotaku , which directed me to Tor . com . Find it in full at the title link . The job involves getting him something to eat , maybe playing a little basketball with him , and basically chatting and getting whatever he needs between important things . During the conversation , apparently Zero Wing came up . You know , the Sega Genesis video game . I don 't know how . And apparently , my friend made the off - hand comment of " All your base are belong to us " . And Obama leaned forward in his chair , quirked his eyebrow a bit , and responded " What you say ? " Today , I found a cup of cottage cheese along with a ziplock bag containing several pieces of malt whiskey fudge inside of my mailbox . What the hell ? P . S . I just realized that the cottage cheese is over a month expired . P . S . S . Never mind . There 's chinese food inside of the cottage cheese cup . Our friends dropped it off . Too bad . It would 've been a great story . I was in NYC today to go to my favorite shop ; Videogamesnewyork . I was aiming to buy Rhythm Tengoku . Alas , there was no Rhythm Tengoku . All they had was Rhythm Tengoku Gold . Oh yeah , they also had LITTLEBIGPLANET . Videogamesnewyork is famous in the area for breaking street dates on every game they can . I considered not buying it because I have a pre - order at GameStop , but what the hey . I 'll give that one to my friend . Besides , this one is the rare , supposed to be unreleased version that has words from the Qur ' an in it . I 'm betting this 'll be a collector 's item someday . Anyway , the picture proof is at the title link . Now I 'm gonna go play this sucker . I 'm not sure how well this one came out . . . A couple of months ago , I was walking down Madison Avenue . l don 't actually go there for shopping or as a means to get anywhere else . I just like to watch the people go by and imagine what their true selves are , under what they 're showing to the rest of the world . So far in my life , I 've only found a handful of people who look and act like their true self . As I watched a sunglassed woman across the street walk hurriedly down the sidewalk as if she was actually going somewhere , I bumped into a street vendor . I quickly apologized and was about to turn around in embarrassment , but what he was selling caught my eye . " Excuse me , but why are you selling sticks ? " " It 's kindling . You know , in case somebody wants to start a fire . " " You mean like setting a building on fire ? " " No ! That would be horrible . No , it 's for a fire in a fireplace . " " Oh . . . . . . . Isn 't this the wrong place to be selling it ? " " One might think , but it 's actually perfect . You see , it 's not easy to get wood in a city , and nobody else is selling any . I 'll make more than you think . " " I think you 're going to make nothing . " " So far I 've made nothing , but sales 'll pick up . Don 't worry . Winter 's just started . I 've got plenty of time . . . " Then he just smiled at me as I left . I don 't know why he thought people in the city would be interested in having fires , but I 'm not sure he 's wrong . Maybe he 's smarter than the rest of us . Maybe he 's now at the top of the kindling business . This is more of a characterization piece than a story , but it 's all I can think of right now . Also , I 'm a bit OCD , but this character is not supposed to be like me . Today I learned in Chemistry that the universe tends to increase in entropy . Eventually , all of existence will fall into total chaos , just gases expanded as much as they possibly can , lingering slightly above absolute zero . This makes my skin crawl . People say that I 'm strange , that I only care about how perfectly placed or tidy something is . Well I say that they can have their hobbies and I can have mine . Of course , the more I think about it , the more I realize that it 's less of a hobby and more of an obsession . If there 's a loose crumb that falls onto the table , I can 't just leave it or wipe it with a napkin . It most go into my mouth or the trash can . Why is this so important to me ? Because everything has its place . The other day , I had to complete a Chemistry project with my school friend . He insisted that we go to his house , even though I warned him against it . He didn 't seem to care at all . I knew that I was in for a rough day . When we arrived at his room , I was in utter shock . It was a wreck . You couldn 't even see the floor . There were bread crumbs all over the bed . He said something about getting us some snacks , but as soon as he left I bolted for the front door . I felt I might die if I stayed too long . This is pulled from Craig 's List . new york craigslist > manhattan > rooms & shares $ 1 Room for ONE DOLLAR in bright , clean apartment ( Upper West Side ) ( map ) Reply to : hous - 834022781 @ craigslist . org [ ? ] Date : 2008 - 09 - 09 , 1 : 44PM EDTI am looking for someone to rent the spare bedroom in my spacious 2 - bedroom apartment on the picturesque and desirable Upper West Side . You must read carefully , however , as this situation is not suitable for all . The rent is $ 1 per month , utilities included , as long as you bake me fifty ( 50 ) tasty cookies every day by 6 p . m . If you have not completed this task by 6 p . m . , I will pour vinegar on all your belongings , throw them into the street , and have the locks changed . No exceptions and no excuses . Hell or high water , those cookies better be done and yummy . Cookies are always cookies and never biscuits . I do not eat " biscuits " . I will decide the specific type of cookie the day before and will submit my preference in writing by 9 p . m . of that day . You are responsible for the recipe and ALL the ingredients ( at your expense , of course ) . The kitchen is large and well equipped with cookie sheets , rolling pins , mixing bowls , etc . You may NOT hum or sing as you prepare the cookies . You may , however , recite song lyrics in a normal speaking voice . Forbidden ingredients include anise , marjoram , allspice , caraway , and oats . I will nevertheless request oatmeal cookies from time to time and you must find a way to make them without oats . Good luck with that . The worst ingredient of all , though , is NUTMEG . If even one speck of nutmeg , even the tracest amount of the stuff , is discovered in my home , I will pour vinegar on your belongings and chuck them in the street . You may assume the locks will be changed . You may use cinnamon , cloves , and raisins , though I am rather indifferent to these and will likely not be impressed . Chocolate is encouraged , as is vanilla bean extract . You will be given three cookie cutters : a crescent moon , a star , and a doggie in profile . All cookies must be in one of those three shapePosted by I usually avoid any way of offending people , but this is the one exception . I can 't understand why any self - respecting Democrat would vote for McCain . I can 't even understand why a self - respecting Republican would vote for McCain ! It is clear that McCain votes almost all of the time with George W . Bush and the world is slowly being destroyed because of Bush 's reign . The North Pole is an island for the first time in human history because of global warming , and Bush hardly acknowledges it ! The war in Iraq has cost the economy as a whole $ 3 trillion and this is a war that was based on lies . How are we going to pay that debt back to the Chinese ? Oh yeah , and don 't forget the countless lives lost on both sides . Do we want another four years of this crap ? Enough with the spite game already ! Hillary lost and she 's not going to replace Obama no matter how much you whine ! I don 't want to live in a post - apocolyptic world any time soon because of your stupidity . If you don 't like Obama , then look at McCain and Palin . They 're even worse . If it must be so , pick the lesser of two evils . Just don 't be an idiot . If you agree with me , just make a supportive comment . If you don 't , then call me out . I 'll destroy your argument . Sorry reader or two . I 've been busy doing actual work recently . I will continue updating soon . I just need to sort out school and stuff first . I recently went on a really boring and tedious trail ride , so I tried thinking from a horse 's point of view . Round and round , round and round , every day from dawn till dusk . Same speed , same clippity - clop of the hooves . Why do I do it ? So that asshole can make an extra buck off of torturing me . Why do the kids like it ? They sit on my back as they 're taken around the pen counter - clockwise again and again . It 's like NASCAR , but somehow even duller . I could 've been something or at least DONE something with my life . Race horse , jumping horse , cattle horse , ANY horse . But I 'm not even a horse here . Just a slave . Why am I here ? Have I ever done anything wrong ? In a past life did I commit some heinous crime and not get punished enough ? Did I not do my time ? Cause I 'm sure doing time here . When you 're on your death bed , look over this list to see if you 've missed any of these masterpieces . If you have , try to play as soon as possible . Banjo - KazooieBanjo - TooieCastlevania : Symphony of the NightChrono TriggerDay of the TentacleDonkey Kong CountryDonkey Kong Country 2Donkey Kong Country 3Donkey Kong Jungle BeatEarthboundElite Beat AgentsGitaroo ManGuitar Hero IIGuitar Hero IIIJet Set RadioKingdom Hearts IIKirby 's AdventureKirby : Canvas CurseKirby Super StarKirby and the Crystal ShardsLittle Big Planet ( I can tell from the demo ) LostWindsLuigi 's MansionLuminesMario GalaxyMario Kart 64Mario and Luigi : Superstar SagaMegamanMegaman 2Megaman 3Megaman 6Megaman Battle Network 2Mister MosquitoNew Super Mario Bros . Paper MarioPaper Mario : The Thousand - Year DoorPataponPhoenix Wright : Ace AttorneyPokemon Blue / Red / YellowPokemon Gold / Silver / CrystalPokemon SnapPortalRock BandSam and Max Hit the RoadShadow of the ColossusSonic AdventureSonic Adventure 2Super Mario 64Super Mario Bros . 3Super Mario RPGSuper Mario SunshineSuper Mario WorldSuper Paper MarioSuper Smash Bros . BrawlSuper Smash Bros . MeleeTales of the AbyssTetrisTetris AttackThe Legend of Zelda : Link 's AwakeningThe Legend of Zelda : Majora 's MaskThe Legend of Zelda : Minish CapThe Legend of Zelda : Ocarina of TimeThe Legend of Zelda : Oracle of AgesThe Legend of Zelda : Oracle of SeasonsThe Legend of Zelda : Twilight PrincessThe Legend of Zelda : WindwakerTomba ! Tomba ! 2 : The Evil Swine ReturnTouch DetectiveWarioWareWarioWare : Twisted ! We < 3 KatamariYoshi 's IslandYou Don 't Know JackZack and Wiki : The Quest For Barbados ' Treasure Me : See ? If I drift around the turns , I don 't need to slow down . Instructor : Why do you need to go so fast ! ? ! Me : So I can finish the test within the time limi . . . Instructor : AAAAAA ! Me : Crap . I fell off the bridge . I 'll never finish in time now . Where 's the retry button ? Instructor : THERE IS NO RETRY BUTTON ! ! ! Me : Oh . I guess we 'll have to wait , then . Where the hell is Lakitu ? And that 's how I failed my driver 's test . I 'm in a dinghy with an oar . I need to find land . I 'm sure it 's close . I see something in the distance ! It 's an island ! I paddle as fast as I can , but the oar starts to dissolve . My whole boat is dissolving ! I fall into the water . I must get to the island ! I try to swim , but my arms are too tired . I 'm going under ! I wake up . What a dream ! I need to write this down ! " I needed to get to land and there was land and my boat melted … " Where 's my dream notebook ? It 's not next to my bed . I get up and search my drawers . " I need to write about the boat and land and water … " It 's not here . I run downstairs and see my mom eating breakfast . " Mom , have you seen my dream notebook ? " " I think it 's under the magazines in the living room . " I rush into the living room and search under the magazines . " There was water and a boat … " Here it is ! I flip it open to a fresh page and put my pen to the paper . I write down , ' Water ' . " Wait … wasn 't there more ? " I look up in a cafe to see a flyer for a website named polestars . Among the things you can buy are a naked butler and nipple tassles , both with pictures . Is this strange to everyone or is this commonplace ? The best thing about being in a different country is that you really don 't know . At first glance , Scotland is the same as the US , save some small differences . Dollars become pounds , pants become trousers , fries are now chips thus making chips into crisps . Throw in kilts and bagpipes and you 've got it down , right ? Well . . . no . Not really . Everything here is either connected to the crown or the church . The streets are all named after some saint and sodas and various other refreshments are checked by her majesty . They have a strange policy of drinking ; do it as much as possible , but don 't let the kids see . It 's pretty stupid and it doesn 't help . If you check the headlines of any newspaper here , you 'll soon realize that nobody is good at titling things . Headlines include " Celtic poised to gazump rivals in bid for Loovens " and " Ronaldo voted the ultimate gay icon " . Well , maybe their subjects are just really bad . One last thing that I found weird is that there is tea time , but hardly anyone has tea . If someone asks you if you 've had tea , that means have you had dinner . This is especially strange because no one has tea at dinner . Scotland is an odd place . I don 't know which is worse ; being at a cafe in which they cover all breakfasts with baked beans or the fact that they deliver . My experience in Edinburgh , Scotland so far has been a bit of a so - so experience . That being said , the food is not in fact so - so , but a bit of a disaster . To find a decent meal , you must have a guide and little preference . Once you find a restaurant or cafe that doesn 't have pre - made food , you check a menu full of extremely high prices . If the pound were equal to the dollar , it would be understandable , but it is worth twice the dollar . You order the food , then wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . It takes maybe half an hour to get sandwiches . Only one person is working on the food . The other 3 are hanging out and cleaning dishes . Shopping for food isn 't exactly great either . Much of the produce is horrible . The artichokes were completely brown ! I must admit , I fell into a tourist trap . A sign said a bakery made Mars bars in batter . I rushed inside and bought one . It wasn 't horrible . It tastes basically as it sounds . It was just bad enough to throw out after the second bite . I 'm not sure each bite was worth a pound , though . I wasn 't even allowed into most pubs . They need licenses to not serve alcohol to minors , so i couldn 't just get food . Somehow , I don 't think this system works , seeing how Scotland has one of the highest rates of alcoholism . The one thing that I was impressed with was the cheese and lox . The fatty cheese was creamy and rich while the lighter cheese was crumbly and slightly tangy . The lox was as good as I 've had and the kippered salmon had a delightfully spicy aftertaste . At least if worst comes to worst , I can always have a picnic . I got an email address at the Edinburgh Interactive Festival to someone in the beta . I emailed them and asked for help to get into the beta . They told me that the beta was now closed . Oh well . I guess I 'll just have to wait a couple months to play it again . Here 's a video of us picking costumes at the level select screen . I also found out that if you double click the analog sticks , hold them down , then rotate the sixaxis , Sackboy rotates his pelvis . I wonder how this could be useful ANYWHERE . Yesterday I went to the Edinburgh Interactive Festival with two and a half hours and nothing to do but play and talk about Little Big Planet . Literally . Everything else there was actually pretty boring . Last month , I asked visitors of Libipl . net to give me questions to ask the representative at the festival , and , surprisingly , got all but one answered . 1 . Are there plans to have machinima tools available ? No . None . 2 . Can there be a flying machine ? No , but there is floating material . 3 . Can you place a sackboy NPC ? No . 4 . Can you create an unbeatable level to put online ? Yes . No testing is required . 5 . Is there a fedora or a kilt ? There is a fedora and there once was a kilt , but he 's unsure of it coming back . 6 . Is it possible to make a machine as easy to control as sackboy ? You can make a machine easy to use , but you cannot use it as easily as sackboy . 7 . When is the demo / beta coming ? No idea . 8 . Can you make invisible objects or a very dimly lit room ? Yes . They 've already made a level that 's dimly lit . 9 . Will level remakes be allowed ? Yes , but naming them after the real level might get them deleted due to copyright reasons . Media Molecule has already made Super Mario Bros . Level 1 - 1 . 10 . Can you make multiple spawn points ? Yes , but to respawn , you must be closer to the point you want to respawn from . 11 . What will be in the first batch of downloadable content ? Mostly things to dress up your character and possibly some levels that were taken off the list . He says that they might also let you download songs for your levels . The beta had plenty of glitches including spazzing characters and levels that can become incompletable , but not too much to be fixed in two months ( they 'll have to work hard , though ! ) . They also haven 't officially named the fluff yet . One thing that I particularly liked was the mini levels . They could be anything from a marble puzzle to an infinite rodeo ride or Jetman clone . There was even a Line Rider - like level ! I was a bit disappointed in the control , though . I was expecting more of a Mario - like control in which tPosted by I haven 't posted a real story up for a while , so I decided I would . I wrote this whilst waiting for a plane . Death is almost always moments away . If I go into a car , I know that I can end it all if I just open the door and jump out . When I walk along a cliff , it is ridiculously easy to fall off . It would be even simpler to injure myself by catching my arm in a door or falling on a cactus . Life is a danger to me , or rather , I 'm a danger to myself . That 's why I 'm different . That 's why I checked into the asylum . The staff here is nowhere near competent . They don 't realize that a stray rope can be used to hang yourself . What if I were to lose control ? I 'm a creative guy . Give me a glass of water and I 'll drown in it . Just keeping me unrestrained around here is a huge mistake . I 'm not so concerned about my killing others , though . If they die , that 's their problem . If I die , then what can I do ? Nothing , and that 's what I 'm scared of . Death is so easy . Why can 't it be harder ? Shouldn 't there be a stack of paperwork for something like this ? No . It 's just a one - sided fight of the world against me . Recently , ScrewAttack . com asked what game would you like to destroy . This is my blog entry . If there was one video game that I would like to destroy , it would have to be Yoshi : Topsy Turvy . I HATE THIS GAME ! You constantly have to recalibrate the motion sensor , the game is laughably easy , and no part of it is fun at all . Unfortunately , the worst part about it is that it 's supposed to be a spiritual sequel to Yoshi 's Island , one of my favorite games ever . They didn 't even keep in egg throwing . I know . It 's horrible . The only reason I beat this game is so I could confirm how bad it is , and I regret it now . I WOULD destroy this , but I 'm now a collector and I hope to teach future generations just how bad a game can be . Even abominations need to be documented to better mankind . Sure , some games are cool as a whole , but how come nobody discusses singular levels ? Here are the top 5 levels that bring the most vivid memories . 5 . Bottom of the Well ( Ocarina of Time ) : I shiver to think of this . It took me a long time to realize how easy this level was , so I fumbled around without the eye of truth , trying to memorize the invisible floors and falling over and over again into the redeads below . Their screams still haunt me at night . . . 4 . Monstro Town ( Super Mario RPG ) : Yes , this technically isn 't a level , but there are like 4 bosses in it , so I 'll count it . Monstro Town was the biggest surprise to me in SMRPG . It made me realize that monsters had feelings and personalities . Then I would think back to all of the monsters I killed before just to level up . Even the creepy wolf was a cool guy when you had a conversation with him . And the tiny goombas were just adorable . The one monster I did not sympathize with was the sensei . That goddamn sensei kept killing each character with one shot and JUST WOULDN ' T DIE . 3 . The Last Level ( Portal ) : Sorry , I don 't know what the last section of Portal is called , but it was really cool . I loved how you had to escape your fiery death , run aimlessly through Aperture Science , solve puzzles that look like they were never meant to be solved , and eventually fight GLaDOS in one of the most amusing boss fights ever . 2 . Jumpin ' Jack Flash ( Elite Beat Agents ) : I was boooooorn in a cross fire hurricane . Yes , my favorite level from my favorite music game was definitely the last . It was extremely hard , but awesome at the same time . I find this kind of embarrassing , but I actually think that they 're cover of Jumpin ' Jack Flash is better than the Rolling Stones ' version . I never beat it on the hardest mode , but I got so close ! Too bad my DS is screwed up now , because I 'd replay that level anytime . 1 . Touch Fuzzy , Get Dizzy ( Yoshi 's Island ) : This was the coolest level EVER . You see the fuzzys around and assume that they 're evil , so you avoid them . Then , eventually , you accidentally hit onPosted by Has anyone else here played the Tomba ! games ? I beat the first a while ago and the second one today . When I checked if Whoopee Camp ( worst name for a company ever ) had made any more games , I had been startled to see that it broke up after Tomba ! 2 . I really like this series , but it 's gone now and there 's no possibility of it coming back . . . What if the Mario or Zelda series never made it past game 2 ? That 's what this feels like to me . This already amazing franchise would have gotten better and better , but it never made it . The creative director went on to make ICO . I 've never played it , but I 've heard many great things . He 's still out there making the best of games ! I just wish this man would one day look back on his past and say , " Hey , that was a cool game . Let 's try and do that again . " This story is technically fiction , but the character is me . I sit on my friend 's bed , waiting for him to get back from the bathroom . I survey the room and find that he has four pictures of him hugging girls on his walls . His girlfriends . . . He 's by no means a lady 's man , but he 's somehow gotten four girlfriends in the past few years . I lie back onto the bed . Why does he have a girlfriend ? Why don 't I ? I 'm much more likable than Greg . Girls love me . I . . . No . This is my fault . I 've been avoiding relationships on purpose . I can 't handle something like that . I can hardly take care of myself . Do I hate myself . . . ? No . I hate society . For some reason I have to have a friend that 's MORE than a friend . Somebody who is potentially a partner in marriage . But not really . I need practice first . It 's a sadistic idea . I need to love someone for a period of time , then I 'll eventually have to tell them that I don 't love them anymore . Then I 'll probably have to avoid that person for the rest of my life . Greg enters . " Greg , why do you have girlfriends ? " " Umm . . . because I like them as more than friends ? " " No . You would just have them as friends if nobody told you that you needed a girlfriend . " " I guess . . . " " So is it just peer pressure ? Do you genuinely care about them ? " " I kind of do and kind of don 't . I learn to care about them and we get close . " " But . . . nobody around here is like me at all . " " . . . . . . What am I supposed to say ? Too bad ? Am I supposed to find you a girlfriend ? When you find someone that you like , ask them out . " " But . . . no . I 'm . . . not like you , Greg . I can 't just say , ' Do you wanna go see a movie ' . I 'd feel sleazy taking a girl out to a movie . I 'd feel like I 'm taking advantage of her . Actually , I feel like having a girlfriend is just two people taking advantage of each other . It 's so horrible , and yet I want it so badly . I feel like a creep ! " " You both know what you 're doing in a relationship . . . " " No . That 's not true . I don 't know what I 'm doing . I don 't know what to say to my parents . I don 't know what I should invite her to . I Posted by This is a video I made at Shakespeare camp . Upon searching Youtube , I see that this video is not exactly original . Oh well . It 's better than the other . Me and my friends at camp are going to start playing Dungeons and Dragons , so I 'm making a prologue . A group of travelers from the village of Dowthorne have come to the religious city of Sethia for their yearly pilgrimage . After praying at the temple , they stay for a night at the local tavern . Before going to bed , an old male dwarf warns the group that their will be an earth - shattering quake on their path home tomorrow . The group of travelers laugh at the idea and tell him that one cannot predict such a thing . They go to sleep without a worry in their mind . They set off for Dowthorne at 9 : 00 AM . At 12 : 30 PM , they decide to stop and eat their lunches . As they pull out their sandwiches , they feel a small rumble in the ground . They joke to themselves about how this was the old man 's great earth - shattering quake . They feel another , greater rumble , and drop their sandwiches , realizing the error in their ways . The ground shakes violently and breaks up to reveal a bottomless pit which swallows the travelers . The group awakens at roughly the same time and they find themselves at the bottom of a pit , the little amount of sun shining down into the cave being the only light source . They , being a brave group , resolve to find a way out of this cave and to get back to civilization soon . This video so simple , yet so great . It 's not brilliant , but it 's so addicting . I 'm gonna watch it again , now . This actually just happened . I have watched a fly buzz incessantly around the room for far too long . I lunge at it , shoe in hand , time and time again . This is either a really smart bug or I have horrible hand - eye coordination . This isn 't working . I 've come close to breaking my picture of Tin Tin , but the fly remains intact and won 't shut up . I need a better weapon . I look around the room and find the perfect weapon ; the chemistry regents workbook . I take it in hand and I wait until the fly has landed on a window for one last time . I focus on my prey , bring the workbook slightly back . . . WHAM ! It barely hits the fly , but it goes down . Oddly , the corpse is nowhere to be found , but I don 't care . I need to go to bed and am filled with relief . The suburban hunter has succeeded again . A while ago I went to a restaurant in China town and I saw this staring up at me from the plate . At first I thought it was strange to eat something with a head . Then I realized that all meat had a head at one point . Western culture had blinded me from the truth . I had not appreciated all of these years that what I was eating was not a plant , but a being that had lived . I felt sorry for it , but then I also realized that it was simply the circle of life to eat other animals . Becoming a vegetarian wouldn 't be an option for me anyway . There 's no way I could look at a lobster and not think of making a meal of it . Sorry for not posting for a while . I won 't do it again . This is just a quick argument . I must admit that it was fun to write . : sigh : You 're always sighing . Why ? It 's not like you 're bored . Life gets a bit monotonous after a while . . . No it doesn 't . Your life is perfectly fine and you 're happy ninety percent of it ! That 's not true ! I suffer sometimes . Like when ? During the visit to the dentist ? When you stubbed your toe ? There are people starving in Africa ! That 's your argument for everything . Can 't I feel bad without worrying whether someone is feeling worse ? No . Look , I 'm sure that many people have worse lives than me . I 'm just saying that sometimes you should focus on your own life rather than others . You self - centered son of a bitch . Now you 're acting all high and mighty as if you 're God ! You constantly do attention grabbing things ! Last week you lost the remote and got the whole damn house to search for it ! Screw you ! I 'll make sure not to sigh near you again . A lot of video games have sequels , but most of the time they just seem to be expansions of the original . Fortunately , there are some games that wipe the drawing board clean and start anew with a game that is just as , if not more awesome . Here are my favorite sequels that do just that . Super Mario Bros . 2 : Sure , it wasn 't originally planned to be a Mario game , but it tons of fun nonetheless . Four very different characters to choose from , hidden warps , creative bosses like Mouser and Birdo , and of course , plenty of vegetables to pick . This game might not have been on the list had there been no vegetables . Donkey Kong Country : Although Miyamoto didn 't like it , Donkey Kong Country was one of the best platformers out there . It had arguably better than N64 graphics and made an antagonist one of the most beloved game characters . It was so great when you rolled off a cliff for an item then jumped back onto land . Physics be damned ! You wanted that extra life and you weren 't going to let common sense stop you ! To this day , it 's still fun to watch a gorilla ride on top of a rhinoceros . Paper Mario : Yes , a second appearance by Mario . He 's in a lot of lists because he 's been in a lot of good games . That 's the reality . Paper Mario is the unofficial sequel to my all - time favorite game ; Super Mario RPG . The original had a compelling story , some of the best music in a video game , and oodles of secrets . Paper Mario had none of these , but it did keep one thing ; amazing graphics . While they may not be the most advanced graphics for its time , it was so cool to see how everything in a world was set up like a pop - up book . It made it even better when Mario fell and he floated down as a sheet of paper . The game wasn 't thrilling during battles , but outside of them , there were a lot of puzzles to solve . I guess that 's why there were no battles in Super Paper Mario . . . Day of the Tentacle : In my opinion the best point and click game , the sequel to Maniac Mansion was hardly like the original . Only one of the playable characters stayed and rather Posted by This is a movie review that I wrote for school last year . I felt that the Seven Samurai was a great movie , although at times it was quite boring . I liked how 7 different people ( master tactician , apprentice , old friend , wood chopper , skillful one , serious and skillful one , and a crazy farmer 's son ) with hardly any relation to each other faced 30 bandits in a few battles . It was also interesting how the farmers weren 't completely innocent themselves , as they had killed injured samurai in the past and stolen their weapons . I thought that the part where the apprentice was in love with the farmer 's daughter was unnecessary and it just abruptly ended . The story with the man who had lost his wife to bandits showed how important family was , but it was also boring and dragged on for a while . One of my favorite parts of the movie was when the old man was playing an instrument really badly for the whole scene , and a guy sleeping there said to stop because it was depressing . The other guys said , " No , keep playing ! " It was also enjoyable to watch the sparring with the bamboo sticks . It was also really cute when the farmer 's son samurai was so loved by the children . It really depressed me when he died in the end though . He was the staple of the group . What I question the most from this movie is why didn 't they use the horses they stole from the bandits when fighting ? It would 've made the battle much easier . They only used the guns once , which could 've killed the leader much more easily . It was really sad in the end when it showed the graves of the four samurai that died . The leader said , " Once again we have lost the battle . The farmers won . " I finally understood it meant that he had always beaten the enemy in the past , but he lost his friends . Although I found the movie a bit long and tedious , the Seven Samurai was amazingly well made , the weapons and scenery looked realistic , and the battle scenes were extremely intense . I give it 4 . 7 out of 5 . I just beat Mega Man 4 - 6 ( I want to beat them all before Mega Man 9 comes out . ) , I remembered that I played Mega Man : The Power Battle at a private school I went to ( They had an arcade machine under the cafeteria ! ) , and I recently started playing Viva Pinata , so that 's 5 more than before . I 'm steadily moving along here ! I 'm almost done with Lego Indiana Jones and I 'm planning to play a lot of Mega Man , so I 'll probably get to 235 pretty quickly . The list is at the title link . I just realized something today while playing Lego Indiana Jones . This isn 't an amazing game with anything that wowed me or any depth whatsoever , but it was fun . I call this Pulp Games , as novels with no depth or real point are called pulp fiction . Although it can be debated , almost all games have some sort of depth or innovation ; something new . Others are just updated from the last edition of it . The Lego games are all basically the same , except the settings , characters , and puzzles change . The story is completely taken from the movies , so there is nothing in that either . This idea can also be applied to sport games which simply change the roster and other small things every year , the first Mega Man games ( okay , they had a bit of story , but they weren 't exactly compelling ) , and Mario Party . Is there something wrong with this ? Yes . While each game may be fun in its own right , the developers dig themselves into a hole which is not easy to get out . Just how many Guitar Heros are there going to be until Harmonix comes out with something original ? Don 't get me wrong . I love games like Katamari as much as the next person , but I want to see new things from those people ! I love that feeling when something cool comes out , especially if I 've never seen anything like it . Luckily , the original creator of Katamari is making a game for the PS3 that is not about Katamari at all . It 's good to know that people can start anew , even after getting wrapped up in a hit . I actually didn 't make this for a class or anything . I just thought it would be an interesting topic to write about . When I was a little kid , I lived near the border of two towns . Nearby , there was a fence that separated town A and town B . I thought it was a strange idea that your location could change so drastically in an instant . I would sometimes walk through the gate , back and forth , telling myself that I was in town A , then town B . It seems a bit silly now , but I was testing whether anything really changed across that border . Although the adults told me that town A and B were different places , I could find no difference . People own land by claiming it is theirs , whether through discovery or attaining it from others . This is a strange idea to Native Americans , as they see the land as public , something that can 't be owned , just borrowed for a while . When Europeans came , they asked to buy their land . The Native Americans didn 't understand that they were giving away the right to use the land , so they happily sold it . Was this naive of the Native Americans or irrational for the Europeans ? Who had given the Native Americans the land in the first place ? They just happened upon it . That didn 't make it theirs . Vast undiscovered lands are found and people instantly claim that it is theirs . There are other animals living there , but if there are no humans , then it is for the taking . Are humans the only ones capable of ownership ? No , other animals have possessions . Even when there are no other forms of life , it is still a ridiculous concept . Governments claim airspace above their countries and even the United States put a flag on the moon , signifying that a whole planetoid is owned by a country a ridiculous distance away . How can people claim that these are attainable ? Lands are not things that can be owned . It 's all just part of nature . When one claims property , does it include space above and below too ? What limits can be made ? Modern society is dependent on land ownership , yet it undoubtedly makes little sense . Is it tooPosted by Well , now that you 're all here , are you going to keep coming back ? If you are , thank you . Plus , I feel like I 'm talking to a wall if there are no responses , so would you mind a couple comments here and there ? Much appreciated . Good news is that I downloaded it . Bad news is it doesn 't work . I got to the initial screen with the galaxy in the background , but there are no icons to click on ! And I was so excited for this . I guess I 'll have to play it at a friend 's house . . . Yes , it got leaked , but not for a Mac , which happens to be my computer . At least the official one is out tomorrow . I 'm actually really excited for this . I love the idea of making an animal basically from scratch and being able to move it realistically . I 'm not quite sure what I 'm going to make with it , but it 'll definitely have a lot of limbs . Actually , what I might do is try to make a realistic human . If I can make any animal , why not Man ? I actually think it 's not going to work , seeing as this version only has 25 % of the parts . Ah , well . Anyway , I 'm not actually sure if I want the whole game . The idea of making the animal is plenty for me . I don 't need to conquer worlds with it . The only part of the game that really interests me other than the creature creator is the simple organism stage . It just seems like a cool idea to eat the smaller creatures and slowly increase in size . Well , I hope this will be fun . Edit : Never mind . It 's online already ! I can 't wait to play . . . I must admit that I feel very similar to this character . . . I hate nature . I feel that it 's out to get me . Whenever I 'm outside , I find some mosquito or anthill at my feet . I HATE bugs . I have nightmares about them crawling up my legs and covering me . I shudder to think about it . This is why I 'm in the fetal position on a park bench . If my feet don 't touch the ground , then bugs are less likely to get to me . I really don 't want to be here , but my friend is playing guitar here in Central Park for a little extra cash . I like to walk through the park , but when I have to sit down , then I am more accessible to those evil creatures . Oh God ! There 's one next to my neck ! . . . Killed it . I feel sorry for it . It isn 't its fault that it 's disgusting . Oh no . What if they come looking for the bug that I squished and find its broken body ? They 'll know it was me ! They 'll band together and crawl over me and bite me ! How much longer do I have until my doom ? ! ? I have to get out of here ! I get to my feet and start to run away . I yell to my friend that I have to go . I can 't take any chances . I need to get to my apartment . My sweet bug - free apartment . . . Or is it ? Ah , the egg . Loved and hated by many . Some people refuse to even eat the yolk of an egg , saying that it 's grotesque and foul tasting . Others , like me , will embrace the yolk , eating it whole or savoring it slowly . The hard boiled yolk is , I admit , a bit hard to swallow . I need some sort of drink with it to wash it down , but I enjoy the texture and flavor . Some might think this is strange , but I never put salt or pepper on my hard boiled eggs . I feel that it takes away from the taste . But the greatest egg dish of all is not the hard boiled egg , but the poached egg . It is a regal dish , often having its own cup , a throne if you will . Depending on mood , I may eat it on toast or plain . Here is the fun part . One must poke a hole in it , and golden liquid will seep out . Then they must take a bite or gobble it at once . The latter ensures them getting the most yolk , but the former allows the eater to contemplate the egg , to understand its true meaning . When I am eating an egg like this , I feel that I have reached a temporary euphoria . The only thing that can get me down is the idea that it will be gone soon . The poached egg is a perfect dish . There is no way to make it better . I wanted to work my fancy outfit into the comic somehow , and it actually came out pretty well . Necessity is the mother of invention , I guess . You can find the comic at the title link . This is my third comic . The idea comes from my friend . He really thought that liquid pie would be a good idea . Admittedly , I thought it would be too . . . Find the comic at the title link . Nobody wants a long blog post . They want it to be short , sweet , and to the point . Has everyone become ADD ? Yes . The internet has made us like this . And I 'm completely fine that way . This is how long a blog post should be . This is a little characterization piece I made in creative writing club . George is a kind fellow . Well , everybody assumes he 's kind because he doesn 't talk . Some say that he 's mute . Others say that his parents never let him talk . He does help everyone around town that needs help , as long as they ask . Nobody knows what he 's thinking , though . He never shows any expression . As far as we know , he 's a robot , just doing what he 's programmed to do . He only eats at home by himself . Sometimes I even question if he 's alive . Unfortunately , we were supposed to be the character in an interview afterwards , and my character wasn 't quite the interview type . I just realized that I had played Ms . Pacman and Galaga 3 ( both with no ending ) , so that brought it up to 224 games . A minute ago , I beat Patapon , which I had staved off for a while . That brings it up to 225 games ! Woo ! The list is at the title link . My little sister Anne likes to write . She likes to make up stories with no real point . I try to tell her that there needs to be some kind of moral or underlying message , but she doesn 't want to hear that . She just wants me to check it and say that I love it . So I do . Today I was called into her room and she asked me if she had a good plot . " June , how 's this ? There 's a girl genius named , ' Sarah Bellum ' , and she goes around solving mysteries with her friends . On her first mystery , she finds that one of her classmates is actually evil , but she has to find a way to prove it . " Oh how I 'd love to tell her that nobody in their right mind would name a kid ' Sarah Bellum ' . But I couldn 't tell her that . " That 's a great idea , Anne . " " You think so ? Cool ! I 'm going to try and write a series ! " She 's always going to write a series , but the next day , she completely loses interest in the character . " Let 's see . How should I title this … ? The Beginning of Sarah Bellum : Issue One ; Volume One ; Series One . How 's that ? " " Marvelous . " I asked my friend to give me a topic to write a scene about . He said to write about running after midnight ( apparently a song name ) . It 's not really a great story , but I think it 's pretty good for just getting the picture . I woke up in a cold sweat . It was 1 : 30 AM , but I needed to get up . I rolled out of bed and got on my socks and running shoes . I crept out of the house , closing the doors as quietly as possible . I got on the street and broke into a sprint as if I wasn 't half - asleep . I ran like I was chased by a boulder . I couldn 't run during the day because of the heat , so I had to get my exercise at night . But I was so tired . . . I slowed down to a jog , then a complete stop . I needed to rest . " I 'll just take a nap on the grass here . . . " I wake up again , noticing the sun , and look at my watch . Oh crap ! I 'm already an hour late for school ! I 've beaten 222 games ! I beat Ocarina of Time ( I 've played it a lot , but I just finally beat it ) . I 'll make another post when I hit 225 games . The updated list is at the title link . This is an IRB review from this fall . Like any good dish , be it soup or stew , dessert or appetizer , French or American , a book must have a good base . Julia Child 's book is quite unsurprisingly based on France and food . But just because it is a simple and predictable stock doesn 't mean that the book will be bland and tasteless . It is a stock so well made and so lovingly written , that you taste the book as both a literate masterpiece and a culinary one . One glorious whiff of the book and you 'll want to whip up a batch yourself ! And whip up a batch I did ! My mother and I decided to make Pommes Anna , a cake made out of potatoes . We clarified butter , peeled potatoes , sliced them up , and poured the butter in a skillet . I started to put in the potatoes , slice by slice , but my mom told me that I was putting them too far apart . She tried to fix it , but just made it worse ! We were upset and frantic trying to figure out what to do . But wait . In both the book and Julia Child 's cooking shows ( which we had recently watched ) she displayed how important improvisation is . " Just keep going , " we thought . " It 'll turn out fine , even with a few mistakes . " So we trudged on , putting the potatoes in as much of an order as possible . Then we tried to put in some pepper . And of course as in any well - planned procedure , an essential ingredient was missing : we realized that we had no pepper left in the mill , and could not find any more in the cupboard . To get the peppercorns ! We raced around putting on the potatoes , sprinkling butter on , and trying to find peppercorns . Finally , voila ! We found them somehow and ground some on . Next , the cookbook said to put a cover on the skillet . Cover ? What cover ? We had just bought the skillet today , and there was no cover when we got it . We rummaged through our pots and pans and found a cover that just fit inside . Crisis averted . My Life in France is a delicious book . Julia Child is a master of describing food in exactly the right way . You feel as if you are eating the fish , drinking the wiPosted by Quote from a pastor : We are considering having something similar to a rally where parents and children can bring CDs and video games that they consider are destructive to the mind set of our youth and have a burning , just like they had a gun buyback last year . . . Young people are being influenced by what they see and what they hear . They are being influenced by television . . . television and videos are telling young people a vision but something that 's not reality . . . [ Violent media ] has a tremendous influence on young people and violence . That 's basically all they see . Most of them try to emulate what they see , when in reality , the people they see don 't even live in those communities . Some of the rappers they see on TV portraying crime don 't live in the urban areas - they live in the suburbs somewhere . It 's all a facade . Yep . It 's a revival of book burning . Look how much society has evolved ! When you hear the phrase , " Chinese food , " what do you think of ? Shrimp lo mein ? Chicken and Broccoli ? When you hear the phrase , " French food , " can you make such a narrow picture ? Most people would say no . This is ironic , as China is hundreds of times bigger than France and has many more delicacies to choose from . Fuchsia Dunlop shows exactly how little Westerners know about the second largest country in the world . Fuchsia Dunlop set out to research China for the BBC . Almost as soon as she got there , she abandoned the idea of working for TV and started getting into the native cuisine . Amazed by the flavors and extraordinary food , she decided to take courses in Sichuanese cooking . She saw how much different Chinese culture was to what she was used to . Daughters are hardly seen as part of the family , in some parts of the country , people have never seen foreigners , and almost all of the people loved Mao , even though he killed many people and was a fierce ruler . Fuchsia was overwhelmed by this culture shock , but she started to become more and more Chinese , almost to the point where she couldn 't understand why some people wouldn 't eat chicken feet . Now she has become a food celebrity and she makes China seem like an amazing place to be . As I read this book , I got more and more intrigued by China . The whole idea of a culture revolving around food and streets brimming with snacks piqued my interest . I had to learn more about it . So I decided to make a hot pot from the book and my parents and I drove off to Chinatown for Chinese produce and sauces . It was a blistering hot day , but we had to find my ingredients . We left the car and checked all of the stalls . It took a while , but we finally found some radishes , ginger , and cabbage . The cabbages were a bit bigger than normal ones , but the radishes were HUGE . They were practically the size of my head ! There were also string beans almost as long as an arm ! Whoever said everything is bigger in Texas has obviously never been to China . We checked a couple of grocery sPosted by Wow . This game is epic . It 's a rail - shooter that plays like a music game . It never really explained the plot , but I 'm okay with that . It makes up for it in glamour . You 're basically in a computer that wants to kill you . You must use your human - like avatar to shoot and destroy all forces pitted against you . You can try and make combos by locking on or shoot directly by rapidly hitting the button ( and destroying your thumb in the process ) . Your avatar flies around , delving deeper and deeper into this computer world to ultimately get to a boss . Probably the most interesting thing about this game is the world itself . The only solid objects are you ( at full health ) and the enemies . The rest is an imaginative freeform , sometimes in shapes of pyramids or sphinxes , maybe the Taj Mahal , but usually swirling and bobbing expanses . The music in the game is basically made by you . When you attack , you make a sort of clapping noise . When you hit , a buzz . Everything you do will orchestrate the game , making the game that much more amusing . Yes , of course the developers designed the levels to inspire you to shoot at these intervals and such , but there is room for creativity , and the idea that your gaming abilities are making music is quite amusing indeed . The bosses , although I have only played three so far , are very well made . The first is a sphere that throws a cluster of attacks at you while keeping hundreds of shields around itself . You must pick each one off . The second is a sort of monster that tries to shoot things through pincers at you . You must destroy each pincer , then go inside of it to kill the source . The third boss is a giant tower filled with turrets that shoots homing missiles . As you can see , this game holds back nothing and is a pleasure to just watch . Graphics : 10 ( They don 't need to be real looking as long as they are stunning ) Story : 4 ( Not much to go on , but the idea of destroying a computer from the inside out is cool ) Sound : 10 ( When there 's a game practically based on sound and does a great job at it , how canPosted by No , this is not nonfiction . I just find it amusing to twist situations I 'm sometimes in , hence the fishing story and this . " I love the use of imagery . " " Oh yes . It makes everything in the story seem realer . " ( What the hell is imagery ? ) " And the character is very much like Ali Baba . I like allusions . " " Yes . I intended that of course . " ( Ali who ? Allusions ? ) " So , what made you write this story ? " " I was just reading Great Expectations and the idea came to me . " ( Great Expectations . . . I 'd never read that . I was watching Lost . ) " Great Expectations ? I love that book ! What 's your favorite scene ? " " I 'd say the one when they find the polar bear on the island . . . . I mean the first one ! " ( Damn it , Toby ! Think before you speak ! ) " I need to read that again . . . Anyway , I 'll see you tomorrow . " " Bye . . . " ( I 'm going to need to Wikipedia imagery later . . . ) Video games are sometimes meant to be scary . Sometimes they 're not , but still send shivers down our spines . Here 's a list of scary moments in games that are clearly not scary games . Ghost houses in Super Mario World and Yoshi 's Island : Boos aren 't supposed to be scary . They 're funny looking ghosts that are about as terrifying as a person covered in a white sheet . The thing that makes them creepy is that when you look at them , they don 't move , but creep closer as you turn away . They 're like stalker ghosts . Plus the music in the levels gets me antsy . I just want to leave as soon as I enter . The haunted mansion in Super Mario 64 : This is a whole different story . The boos in this game were 3 - D and their smiles haunt my dreams . . . But that 's not the only scary part . There were numerous eyeballs that stay focused on you , books with sharp teeth flying after you , and a PIANO trying to eat you . The first time I got near the piano and it started coming after me , I almost had a heart attack . And let 's not forget the basement . There 's a merry - go - round - type thing in the middle . And it played music ingrained in everyone 's brain that has played this game . If I were to describe it , I would liken it to a clown with a switchblade hidden behind its back . * shudder * It took me until I was 10 to gather up the courage to get all of the stars . Gruntilda 's Lair and Mad Monster Mansion in Banjo Kazooie : Gruntilda 's Lair was pretty scary , considering that it 's a hub world . A little song that kept you on the edge of your seat , and a new scary thing every room . Let 's not even discuss Cheato 's rooms . For some reason I just needed to get OUT when I saw him . Anyway , each room had a theme . The first had a giant picture of Gruntilda , just to remind you that you were trespassing in world completely controlled by an evil witch . One had mummies , another was full of spider webs ; needless to say , it is not an ideal living space . Mad Monster Mansion was full of ghosts and ghouls . It was cartoony , but in a way , that made them scarier . I tried to avoid this Posted by Here 's a quick story about a father and son . I sit there in the dinghy with nothing but a fishing rod in my hands . " Dad ? When is something going to happen ? " " Any minute now , Charlie . " That 's the same thing he said an HOUR ago . I think I 'm going insane . Dad is concentrating on the water , as if when he looks away it 'll be gone . He said this would be relaxing . He said it would be a BONDING experience , yet the only words that have left his mouth are , " Any minute now , Charlie . " Dad doesn 't care about me . This is just some stupid obsession of his that he can 't do alone for some reason . I look at the murky water and I weigh the chances of being able to swim back . Never mind . I can 't abandon my dad . I don 't like him , but I have to be nice to him . It 's just the way it is . I try to start a conversation . " So dad , why do you like fishing ? " " I dunno . " Yep . That 's my dad . Ever so entertaining . Wait . I feel a pull . It 's a fish ! I wrestle with the rod , imagining a giant fish thrashing around in the water . I 've caught dad 's attention . His eyes fill with happiness , urging me to pull harder . I finally get it out . It 's a boot . All enthusiasm drains from dad 's eyes . Without a word , he goes back to watching the water . Why can 't he at least applaud my effort ? ! ? I sigh , put my rod down , and stand up , dad not noticing at all . I 'm swimming back . I beat Yoshi : Topsy Turvy . Goodbye and good riddance . That was quite possibly the worst game I 've ever played . I would have to re - calibrate the tilt sensor every two minutes for crying out loud ! I decided to add on to a story that I wrote ( gasp ! ) . This is what happens right before the elevator story . I 'm late . I need to get to work FAST . I run through the city streets , scalding coffee in one hand , briefcase in the other . Why must I run to this job ? I 'd rather literally put my nose to a grindstone than figuratively . Nothing but a dead end job with a stupid boss . I feel like I 'm in a Dilbert cartoon , but this is cruel reality . There are no punch lines here . Everyone on the street has a place to be , probably a place that they hate . Why am I out here wasting my life away ? ! ? I could be a sailor , or a race car driver . . . But no . I have neither the will nor the personality for those jobs . My job is perfect for the dull lowlife that I am . I can see the office building in the distance . Is it worth going to work today ? Should I go back home even though I 'm almost there ? No . I 'm going in today . I somehow feel that something good will happen . . . Yep . I just beat Majora 's Mask , and that makes it 220 games I 've beaten . You can find the list at the title link . I 'll make another post when I hit 222 ( 222 is kinda symmetrical ! ) . Oh . Ho . Eggs . I want this ! I could rent it to people who play World of Warcraft and they could teach it to grind ! Oh , and I could teach it to dance too . After a Korean dinner ( that I 'll post about some other time ) , me and my father went to get ice cream . We found a shop with a large line inside . It was called , " Cones : Ice Cream Artisans " . We strolled into the shop and I asked to try a few of the strange flavors . I tried cantaloupe ( alright , but had a bit of a overly - sweet aftertaste ) , watermelon ( a sticky grainy flavor ) , and , one I simply had to try , corn ( tasted too MUCH like corn . I found a kernel in my teeth . ) . I decided to go with the old favorite ; chocolate . Why sacrifice good taste for a zany taste ? The chocolate melted a bit fast , but was satisfying as always . Next time I 'm getting kumquat in rum flavor . . . This poem is an exaggerated telling of my thoughts when I use hot water . I realized that it was second - person halfway through , though . I don 't know why that happened . Maybe to make the audience feel it more easily ? What is that feeling you get when you put your hand under a running tap ? You 're not sure what the temperature is for a moment . You 're not sure you want to know . In that split second , you will be scared you 're getting scorched . You want to pull away , but you can 't . You can 't react quickly enough to avoid it . You can feel the beads of water hitting your hand , but it means nothing until you can tell if it 's soothing or destructive . You relax into it and decide what 's to be done is going to happen regardless . The heat hits you and you snatch your hand back in surprise . Why must every action you do be existential ? Posted by I made this comic today . I originally made a rough draft for this in a friend 's notebook about a month ago . I didn 't think it was amazing , but she seemed to like it , so I made an improved version . You can find it at the title link . And yes , the events the comic portrays happen all the time . Is it just me , or are there too many video game accessories that are too expensive and take up too much room in our closet ? There 's Guitar Hero guitars ( $ 40 ) , Rock Band instruments ( $ 130 ) , the new Guitar Hero drums which you CAN ' T replace with Rock Band drums ( unpriced ) , Wii Balance Board ( $ 40 ) , and plenty others . Now these are the most expensive ones , but still , why am I paying more than $ 50 to play ONE game ? But for some reason , I can 't use a PS2 Guitar Hero controller for a PS3 Guitar Hero . Is it fair to the gamers to make them pay top - dollar to play a game ? I didn 't buy Rock Band , a game I had been anticipating for a while , because it was $ 180 . And it 's not just buy it and it 's done . Guitar Hero needs TWO guitars to be able to play with a friend , and these accessories frequently break . And there 's no replacement . I just have to hand over another $ 40 if I want to play again . I know that video games are made to make money , but maybe more people would buy the games if there weren 't so many accessories you need to play . The only way I 'm going to get my money 's worth for each accessory is if they work with every console and game that can use it . And we all know that 's not going to happen . . . I wrote this piece right here . Hooray for fresh material ! " I really don 't want to be here . . . " " Quiet , Luke ! " I sigh and shut my mouth . This is Kerry 's grandma 's funeral and I want to be anywhere but here . It 's just . . . I like Kerry and all , but I don 't know any of her relatives yet . We 've actually only been dating each other for a few months . I introduced myself to her at a rock concert when I noticed that we both had the same tattoo of a burning skull . Small world . Anyway , from there on , I expected all of the things we would do to be hardcore . Now I 'm at a funeral . I am bored out of my MIND . I look around to see all of the people . I amuse myself by making up imaginary lives for all of them . That woman crying is a housewife with five kids and secretly hates ketchup . That somber man is an over - worker who hopes to get a dollar raise in the toothpaste company he works for . That woman crying is . . . wait . They all look the same . I realize how boring this funeral is going to be . I crack my knuckles and Kerry holds my hand so I stop . She 's never been this forceful before . What 's wrong ? I pull my hand away and try to focus on the procession . It moves at an annoyingly sluggish pace . I start humming " Stairway to Heaven " and tap my fingers to the rhythm . Kerry looks at me with a concentrated and frustrated face and says in a whisper , " Stop it . " I try to fall asleep , but she elbows me . This is stupid . Why should we care so much about the dead ? They 're gone , so why have this big anti - party ? Just forget about them . That 's what I want . When I 'm gone I want people to just get back to their lives . I 'm just a passing guy . Who needs to honor me ? I check the clock . An hour left to go . This is going to be a long funeral . . . This is a comic I made a few months ago . I was just thinking of puns and decided that it would be more amusing if cartoon Toby created this one . I love the contrast of faces on panel three . You can find it at the title link . This is the screenplay that I wrote for acting camp last year . It has no dialogue . It turned out really well on stage . Tina folds grey overcoat and puts it in closet . She starts a kettle of water . She picks up a picture of her husband , and looks out window . She sighs , puts her fist on her chin and looks around . She goes around inspecting worthless knickknacks . The Tea Kettle Boils . She turns off the stove and takes out teacup . She puts on a stylish oven mitt and pours the hot water in the cup . She takes out a tea bag and slowly dips it in , as though she 's being forced to do it . She brings the tea into a room with a table and chair and sits down . She takes a spoon and puts it into a sugar bowl . She brings it out with sugar on it and brings it close to the tea , slowly and painfully . She drops the spoon and starts breathing heavily . She slows down the breathing , and then sheds a single tear into the cup of tea . I know that this probably isn 't as powerful when written down , but you can get the idea from it . This was my second comic . I made it a week or two after the Bellybutton one . I don 't think that the punch line is as good , but I think that the scene it creates is better . See it at the title link . Has anyone else heard of " The Rubber Room " ? It 's basically a holding cell for teachers that I originally heard about on NPR . I think it 's horrible and inhumane to keep teachers in a room doing nothing for seven hours a day . They can stay in that room for years , even if they didn 't do anything wrong . They 're getting their punishment before their trial . I 'm scared for these people . I suggest that you spread the word about the ways that the Department of Education handles its problems . I 'm sorry . There is no real post today . Most of today I was just being driven around . I went sailing with FRIGID water and the car show was pretty cool , but it got old pretty quickly . So really , not much happened to write about . I 'll write something tomorrow when I have more time on the computer . Right now I 'm in Cooperstown ; the most boring place on earth . Up here , the water is disgusting , everything is at least a few miles down the road , and nothing is interesting . Except I saw peanut butter pie on a white board at a diner . I 've got to try that sometime . . . I also went to a pretty good dessert place with an authentic strawberry shortcake and at least a gallon of ice cream piled onto my cone . We all agreed that whatever radio station they were playing was horrible . Although it hasn 't been the most amazing day , tomorrow we 're going to an antique car show and going sailing on our Laser . I enjoy sailing , but it 's a lot of work to set it up and put it away and the water is cold this time of year ! I 've also been thinking about driving recently . I 've decided that when I need to get a car of my own , I 'm going to get a Smart Car . Those things look awesome ! I was on Serious Eats today and saw the forum post , " What is pho ? " ( pronounced ' fuh ' ) . I checked it out and it intrigued me . It turns out that pho is a vietnamese beef soup with rice noodles . It has become very popular and there are whole restaurants devoted to the dish and its variations . I checked google and found some restaurants with pho , a few with strange names like , " What the Pho " and " Pho Shizzle " ( I also found that What the Pho had broken several health violations ) . I then looked for some restaurants in Manhattan and found that the best reviewed one is " Pho Tu Do " . I simply had to try it out , so when my mom came home , I somehow convinced her to go ( the lamb in our fridge had to wait ! ) . We met my dad in the city and found the restaurant . If you see the restaurant from the outside , or even the inside for that matter , you would be skeptical why anybody would come from out of the city to eat there . It seems like any old asian restaurant and christmas ornaments hang from the ceiling like stalactites . We browse the menu and end up ordering a summer roll ( shrimp wrapped in cellophane ) and a " noodle " which is quite obviously not a noodle ( it 's like 4 large and greasy ravioli ) for appetizers . I got a coconut for a drink , and I must say , it was delicious . I originally wanted the salty lemonade , but the waiter advised me not to . I couldn 't understand why because he couldn 't speak English well . I wasn 't disappointed with the coconut , though . After I was done with the juice , I could mine out slivers of coconut meat from the inside and fish them through the opening in the top . I don 't know why , but I enjoy slowly working at pieces of food to retrieve small rewards , like squeezing out the meat from lobster legs . The appetizers were pretty interesting , and I enjoyed the texture of the summer roll . Nothing amazing yet , though . Then we got pho ( a ' special big bowl ' as they put it on the menu ) , shrimp that we cooked ourselves on a small grill , and spicy shrimp soup with a coconut broth . The pho surprised all of us , having aPosted by I previously linked to this site for the Grand Theft Auto IV food landmarks , but I also want to point out the great articles on food there . They range from bacon pizza , to mojito cake to a portable kitchen . I aspire to make my food posts as good as theirs someday . Check it out at the title link . Another thing that I 've noticed about Fuchsia Dunlop 's new book is how much more complicated and rewarding Chinese food sounds . While Western food seems to just circulate around one or two ingredients and has a few seasonings to enhance the flavor , Chinese food seems hundreds of times more intricate . They have well seasoned dishes , focusing on the very idea of flavors , rather than just pretending that there is a limit to the dish . It 's as if Western food just tells a sentence or a phrase , while Chinese food spins full tales about a culture or just nature itself . They also don 't limit themselves to such few and boring ingredients . The Chinese use every edible thing they can use , making their food that much more complex . After reading most of the book , it seems foolish to me that we let pig 's blood drain , or throw away organs . I want to try and taste everything and see just what kind of stories are made by chefs . I 'm done with most of my fantasizing about European food . Asia 's got my eye now . Trouble finding the type of posts you like ? I have just added labels to all relevant blog pots , so you can get to your favorite kinds immediately ! Like my creative writing ? Select " story " . Like games ? Select " video games . Like gastronomy ? Select " food " . Like the stage ? Select " theater " . Like the links that I recommend ? Select " links " . Just like to hear my miscellaneous going - ons ? Select " rants " . You can also type these keywords in the search bar in the upper left corner . I hope that this will help everybody navigate through all of the unfavorable posts on my site . Two days ago , my friends and I were buying a friend , I 'll call . . . uh . . . Steve , a bunch of iced coffees . You see , recently our school cafeteria has been making iced coffee for students for $ 1 . 50 a cup and each student was allowed only one cup a day . A couple of us went to go get coffee for him after he got his first because he was pretty much hooked on iced coffee recently . As more people went , the louder the cries were for Steve to drink faster . When I went to go , I asked for $ 2 . 00 for my cup . Steve said he had no money , so another one of the friends gave me two dollars and set it in front of Steve . He managed to drink 7 cups of iced coffee . Yesterday , I found him drinking more iced coffee in the cafeteria . It turns out that he never fell asleep that night and they wanted to see how many he could drink before he crashed after the caffeine high . He seemed like he didn 't want to drink more , so I asked him why he kept drinking more . He answered , " Because it 's in front of me . " A good reason if ever there was one . He got to 11 coffees when another friend came back after a while on the line with another cup . Steve started to sip it , then spit it back into the cup . " How many sugars did you put in this ? ! ? " " I lost count after twelve . " He tried to drink the rest of it , but after half was done he spit some onto the floor and said he couldn 't drink any more . The show was over . This morning , I saw him in the halls and asked him if he was up all night again . He said , " No , I had a massive crash . " I know it was a bit cruel to just let him drink so much coffee , but he looked like he was really enjoying being so daring . Now we all have this great story to tell . I enjoy eating more than most people I know and I am similarly enthusiastic about video games . I will play almost any game , but I dislike shooters . I am currently 16 years old .
|
Tagsbrooklyn , coffee , cold brew coffee at home , diy cold brew coffee , fire walk with me , nyc , twin peaks Having my first cold coffee of the year . Why so long since ? Because we were out of chicory and cold coffee without chicory would be like Twin Peaks without Dale Cooper . Most stores around here sell a brand of chicory in an orange box , which is really good . We get ours at Puerto Rico coffee company because the place smells like what the whole world should smell like . Plus I pass this store weekly . It just wasn 't top of mind . It took the dread of 90 degree temperatures to finally remind me what 's been missing from my life : Chicory ! Our cold coffee is very strong . We use the coffee sock cold brew jar and fabric filter . Fill it up then stick it in the fridge for 12ish hours . It brews for 12 hours . Perhaps we 've figured out why it 's so strong , Watson . I am not picky about coffee as long as it tastes good . Even bodega coffee is forgivable after a taste of something sweet to curb the burnt bitter bites . With cold brew we find the best results come from finely ground grinds and a heaping scoop of chicory . Raj and I had a cup this morning then he left me alone here , defenseless with another 4 cups of the good stuff begging for ice and just screaming my name . It does feel strange to turn the AC on in May , but it had to be done . The men outside are very loud . For weeks our fancy neighbors have been making a racket here and there . We were warned there 'd be some noise as they were having a fence put in . A fence . There are currently three massive luxury buildings going up around us . We are no strangers to noise . A fence is nothing . One summer , I helped my dad put up fences around backyard pools . We dug a lot of holes . I remember splinters , lots of Neil Young , blisters , and eating WaWa hoagies with raspberry iced tea on our breaks . I do not remember … jackhammers . They are using jackhammers to break ground . I 'm sure they have good reason but help me . For the last few weeks , they show and make a lot of noise for an hour or two then leave . Why they chose this 90 + degree day to work all day is a mystery . Our AC drowns out the noise , but I can 't stop watching them place cinder blocks , measure , dig , smoke . I 've been at the window most of the day when I should be working but at first it helped me concentrate . Now it 's like we 're in it together . Yeah , I 'm in my air conditioned apartment sipping very strong ice cold coffee rather than breaking a sweat doing stuff , but I almost feel like my watching while bouncing and lifting weights has contributed in some meaningful , essential , what - would - they - do - without - me way . Don 't mention it . Thinking of wonderful things in the world , I found a Misfits Famous Monsters CD . It was cracked but the moral of the story is this is a glorious album and it 's streamable on Spotify . High energy music is equalizing some of the unexpected coffee effects . Hopefully next time the fence builders look up I won 't be there waving back like a weirdo . Tagscapes , comic books , free comic book day , nyc , superheroes Bozo is in town . Streets around the Hellmouth are fittingly lined with sanitation trucks . Knowing blondie is surrounded by garbage trucks makes me almost as joyous … This Saturday is Free Comic Book Day , the happiest day . Repeat : If it 's for free , it 's for me . Every year I find a few gems for my nieces . Last year , Science Comics ! were a hit . This year they 've requested stories with … capes . I tried so hard to steer them from superheroes and I failed big time . So instead of fighting it we 're making them capes to go with the reading . This is my second round of cape - making for them . The first round didn 't turn out as I pictured them in my head . Still don 't know what I did wrong , possibly sewing them by hand in poor lighting . This time will be different because I begged my sister to sew them with her machine . She asked for the pattern like an amateur . Tagsapril fools , april fools ' day , pumpkin forever , spring , taxes A phrase came to mind as I completed this year 's taxes . It 's one of very few Bangla phrases I know and usually save for bad restaurants . It translates to " They slapped us in the face and took our money . " This was a frustrating year to pay taxes . I just didn 't want to do it . Who does , knowing the money could actually go toward a wall ordered by a born millionaire who didn 't have to pay his own taxes for 18 years ? Wouldn 't it be nice for those of us who do pay taxes if we could indicate where we want at least a percentage of our dollars to go ? Filing would be more engaging than stressful , more fulfilling maybe . Does anyone else reward themselves for doing their taxes ? This year someone special ( ME ! ) is getting hiking boots . I 'm tired of slipping on boulders in old running shoes . Lyme disease - spreading ticks are supposed to be at an all time high this year in the Northeast , which they say every year , but I 'm treating myself to more insecticide , too . Chemicals ! Since filing was especially annoying this year thanks to the electoral college 's president , I 'm also baking me a pumpkin chocolate chip loaf . They say pumpkin isn 't in season right now . I 'm going to share a deep dark secret . Our pumpkin that we got back in October is still on our mantle . It 's fine . I keep waiting for it to liquefy or reveal itself for the alien pod it is . I check it for rot every day and every day it 's fine , a little lighter like it 's hollow inside . I 'm not baking the actual pumpkin . We kept it up over the holidays by our leg lamp and hung streamers around it for New Years . We put a hat over the curled stem for St . Paddy 's and now there 's a bunny on top . Maybe the fountain of pumpkin immortality is the corner spot on our mantle ? We 've come so far together , been through so much . The pumpkin is a part of the family . It 's like the lazy aloof cat we can 't have because of allergies . She screamed , " What ? " Then there was a glorious stunned silence , followed by " How ? " And more horrified questions . My answers were just vague enough and I said I 'd send her a picture because if I did cut my toe off I would take a picture for my Dead Stuff newsletter . The picture was a drawn toe with " April fooled you " written , but I guess it took her a while to open because she thought it was a picture of my real severed toe . She called my dad before I got to him so for a little while both of them thought I 'd cut off my own little toe and was sending around the picture . For good measure I included my other two sisters in the horror . Tagscall representatives , call senators , election , paul ryan survey , political call to action , protect obamacare , trump , we 're his problem now In a few days we 're off to stay with family in PA where massive Donald signs are punctuated with arrow signs pointing to the nearest gun shop , often right around the corner . This weekend we steeled ourselves with comforting Georgian food in Brighton Beach . Then I made a few phone calls . Take a look . Even if you 're not horrified by the election results , perhaps someone you care about depends on Obamacare . It 's flawed , yes , but without Obamacare someone I love would have died last June . Without Obamacare someone else I love would have a $ 500 , 000 hospital bill to wallpaper his mobile home with . If nothing else , this can still be a country where people don 't die from treatable health problems or go bankrupt for daring to seek treatment . Perhaps you will consider taking a few minutes to complete Paul Ryan 's automated survey . Here 's some info from the call sheet . Paul Ryan 's office is conducting a survey hoping to show a popular mandate to repeal the ACA ( Obamacare ) . I just took it . It 's automated and quick . Here 's what to do : 2 ) * * WAIT through 40 seconds of pure dead silence suggesting you have called the Death Star . ( Seriously . Don 't hang up . There 's no hold music . It 's a little odd . ) The ACA is imperfect , but I have friends who depend on it . Paul Ryan expects a certain outcome to this survey . Let 's show him another . Tagsbackcountry movie , bear horror movie , bear movie , bear safety , camping , camping prep , pennsylvania , poconos , summer Upon returning from a camping trip , I ride the lalala peacefulness of spending a few days outdoors free of walls and electricity and glowing screens . All the work leading up to the trip , a distant blur not worthy of remembering . Then another trip comes around and as much as I know it 'll be good once we get there , every minute leading up to it , when we 're running around for tick / mosquito repellent and cooking and stuffing everything in the freezer so it keeps , it 's a lot of work . I miss being a kid . My dad did all this work for us and he made it look like fun . Time to Tetris all the supplies in the truck and still have room for 6 people ! Time to drive 3 hours without air conditioning because for some reason it was always busted . Then at the camp he cooked all the food while we canoed and jumped off bunny cliffs along the Delaware River . At night he 'd wait for all of us to retire to our nice tents with zipper doors before backing into his long hippie mummy mini tent feet first and wiggling in until only his head stuck out . If he rolled over in his sleep the entire tent either went with him ( if the ground was soft ) . His favorite saying - Use it up , wear it out , make it do , or do without - speaks to why he waited until the tent he had as a teen in the 60s dry rotted before splurging on a tent with a zipper that covered his whole body . Camping leaves you with so many stories that , unlike all the work prior , stake a permanent spot in memory . So it 's okay that I burnt myself twice this morning trying to check on food in the oven while keeping the freezer from swinging open again . My apartment is smoky but the cornbread tastes perfect and will be even better warmed up on the fire with some honey . One weird experience from our Acadia camping trip back in June is only slightly on my mind . On the last night , I was about to fall asleep when my boyfriend whispered that there was someone walking around our campsite . I opened my eyes and saw the silhouette of a person passing between our tent and the fire a few feet away . We saw nobody when we looked around with the flashlight and checked that the car was locked , which of course it was . A car alarm went off a few sites down about a minute later . My boyfriend then fell straight to sleep while I lay wide away magnifying the sound of every snapped twig . His super power is willing himself to sleep in seconds any time , any place . This time it won 't be just the two of us and we 'll have more to look out for than some weirdo trying to rob campers . There are rattlesnakes and a number of Lyme infected ticks in the area . Bart Yasso 's telling of how Lyme disease impacted his life as a runner in My Life On The Run is good motivation to stay vigilant and well sprayed down with oh - so - healthy chemicals to keep the ticks away . Oh , and there are black bears , but that seems like a given in most parks . I 've been working my way through Mark of the Grizzly , thanks to Angela over at Toasty Strings for the recommendation . Each chapter details a grizzly attack and it 's obviously terrifying , but also gripping and loaded with information I hope will never come in handy . I read recently that grizzlies are able differentiate colors . In a wide open tundra , bright tents might make them curious and more inclined to investigate than camouflaged ones . Wish I read this before getting a colorful tent , but we 're not exactly off to Antarctica . Yet . There are some major differences between what to do when encountering a black bear versus a grizzly . Here in the Northeast , we only have black bears . And they rarely attack large groups of people , especially if you don 't leave food and trash out . Small kids are to be piled on adult shoulders to make them seem bigger . The most important thing is not to run because that can trigger a predatory response . I 'm trying to fill my head with the right answers because my nieces have so many questions about bears . These things are good for kids who live in bear country to know , but I can 't help wondering if they wouldn 't be so nervous had they not watched Backcountry with us a few weeks ago ( not my decision ) . It 's loosely based on a fatal black bear attack that occurred in Ontario . The movie swaps which person was attacked and makes one of them look like a fool to blame when in real life they were both avid outdoors people who were unfortunately in the path of a predatory bear . It 's watchable , but not good and the changes they made don 't serve the story . But they did use a real bear and it 's gory . Imagine seeing this when you unzip your tent : Off to the wilderness we go . Despite all of the above , the woods are among the safest places a person can be . Lately , running in our neighborhood by myself feels far riskier than a few days sleeping beneath the stars . The prep and planning are finally done . Now I 'm excited . TagsJersey shore , moving , sisters , storms Right now I 'm watching ocean mist roll down the road after an expected storm . The weather predicted it , but the view from my sister 's window disagreed with blue skies and fluffy white clouds . So I went out for a mid - day run on the boardwalk , which is a treat this time of year . The beach is cool , bright and oh so empty . To run on the Jersey shore in April is to breathe in the scent of tar and whatever else they 're pouring on the roads to fix them up before the town swells from a few thousand residents to 30 , 000 people . But the ocean breezes make it worth it . Earlier I watched the sky as I ran further and further away - still blue and sunny . On my return , the sky turns black about a mile from the house , then thunder and a few blocks away lightning flashes . These sudden beach storms drench me almost every visit and pretty much stop by the time I get back . Still , it 's easy to see why my sister loves living here . This time I 'm not staying for the views , but to help her move in four days . Trouble is she hasn 't found a place to move to yet . As the population swells , so do rents . Big time . She might end up staying with me until finding a place , and that 's fine because we have lots of space and I 'll have another running buddy so YAY , but commuting from Brooklyn to Jersey is no fun . And she 's a social worker , which is a job I could never do because , again , no fun . Last week , I scored quality time with my nieces while another sister went house hunting for a few days . Together we read Roller Girl and took things easy as both of them were sick . Eating in a home filled with food I 'm allergic to , a home far from a grocery store , is a challenge . By the end of the visit I had bags under my eyes because the little one is a night owl and the older one rises with the sun . And bad hair because they hid my conditioner so well they forgot where they put it . And loose pants from living off of fruit and salad . And a cold . This never happens with friends , but to visit one of my sisters is to get swallowed by her chaos for a little while . I 've never had one stay with me longer than a few days . It 's finally my turn to unleash the crazy , if we don 't find her a place soon . She must brace herself for lots of Wanna run ? Wanna do yoga ? Is this monster too sexy ? Can I borrow your conditioner ? Wild times . Tagsbernie sanders , brooklyn , new york city , nyc Had a very Brooklyn morning last week when I went out to move my car to the other side of the road for street sweeping . We do this once a week , but on this day the car didn 't feel like starting . Five minutes before the sweeper comes not only is the car busted , we 're about to get a ticket for not moving it . Boyfriend calls the roadside assistance insurance peeps and I 'm waiting outside while drivers honk their grievances before passing . When the sweeper comes I explain and he actually says , Don 't worry about it . No ticket . I sit in the car and read for the 10 minutes it takes the tow truck driver to arrive . The man gives the car a jump . While the car is about finished charging another ticketing person comes along . Tow truck man puts his fists on his hips and , in a thick Brooklyn accent says , I 'll stand here so they don 't bust your balls . And they didn 't . The Andrew Dice Clay of tow truck drivers saved the day . This weekend , I ran into the city and saw the coolest 90 - something gal in the whole world . She wore a giant Bernie button on her Bernie shirt and was leaving Forbidden Planet with a bag . I continued on to Strand , wondering what was in her bag . Maybe a few comic books or maybe some freaky Asian zombie movies . We 'll never know . From Strand it was off to the library to pick up my holds ( free ! ) then home to work on my French on Duolingo ( free ! ) then yoga ( free ! ) . On the walk back - running with library books isn 't fun - I picked up spicy hummus at Sahadi 's and then got lost . Going from my old neighborhood to current one , both of which are basically grids , I took a wrong turn and kept going . It 's really disorienting to look around and realize you don 't know where you are or how you got there . By the time I finally got back , I was beat . Still did yoga and French , but without the enthusiasm . We went to the Bernie rally Sunday , sort of . Gates were supposed to open at 12 , but Sanders didn 't take the stage till after 4 . The crowd in line around us was friendly and diverse in age , though the parts of the line we saw were mostly caucasian . We waited in line in the heat under full sun for nearly two hours then I felt gross , went home and streamed his talk online instead . I really wanted to see him speak - I changed my voter registration from Independent to Democrat so I could vote for him in the primary - but the heat is back and it is not my friend . Last week , I thought I was on the ball . Got my taxes done a whole week early and booked our campsites for June and August . But I forgot about starting up the car every few days , got lost on my way home and stood out in the mid - day sun for over an hour ( wearing a hat & sunscreen ) simply because I forgot how sensitive I am to heat . Now I feel bad for busting my boyfriend 's balls every time he tries to eat a pear . How do you forget you 're allergic to pears ? I 'm a sucker for any beat - the - heat tippy listicle , but none of them help . Granted our car is more than ten years old and has already earned the name Put - Put Mobile , but I 'm hoping it 'll get us where we need to go in terms of finding a place to live , ideally where the sun don 't shine . Until then , I 'm going nocturnal till fall . Tagsangela meade , cheap opera tickets , going to the opera , il trovatore , lincoln center , met opera , nyc , opera , the metropolitan opera Tuesday night we waddled from Columbus Circle up Broadway on slippery slate sidewalks in silly fancy shoes with no traction . If I 'm not good in this life , I 'm coming back as a ghost in heels forced to walk the city 's slick sidewalks for all eternity . Meanwhile , my hot date strutted along in those men 's looks - like - a - pump - feels - like - a - sneaker shoes . We turned the corner and sighed the sigh of knowing we were going to enjoy the next three hours of our lives . Guaranteed . That 's what it is to go to The Metropolitan Opera . Now that they sometimes offer $ 25 tickets , we go more often . Our seats were two rows from the very highest back , but there are no bad views at the opera . Though there 's love and sacrifice , macho men being dumb , the narrative 's driving force is vengeance at all costs . I skimmed Il Trovatore 's summary and went in expecting a tragic love story , but it 's much more complex . I was tempted to turn off the subtitles in front of my seat to see if the experience is better without a glowing screen , but after the first number I succumbed to the urge to know the plot . The only thing I didn 't love was the set . It 's quartered and rotates on a massive lazy Susan - style platform , but all the greys and browns and dingy costumes make for a dreary sight . Granted , it 's a time of bloody war , but I 'm a sucker for artistic sets that add something . No need to transport me to a massive wall . On paper , the melodramatic plot front - loaded with backstory didn 't seem big enough to fill this stage . Wrong , wrong , wrong . With opera , the whole is always better than the parts . Every time Angela Meade opened her mouth I closed my eyes and forgot about the subtitles . The emotion behind whatever the lyrics are stirs and fills you . The range of their voices reminds you you 're a human capable of pure emotion , which is welcome when delivered in the form of an aria . Leonora 's first song is what yearning sounds like . Later we get fear , passion , hope , desperation , and it all lingers in you for days because everyone on stage sings their heart out . So somebody in our section joined in a few times . First I heard a faint humming and thought No . People don 't sing along with the opera . This dude did . Someone shushed him and I felt bad because he actually knew the words and didn 't sound bad , but singing along at the opera is not something I can get behind . But going is . Now that they 're making it more affordable , I hope everyone goes at least once . Those plush seats are too comfortable to be empty . Sitting at the Lincoln Center fountain at night was something my sister and I loved to do when I first moved here . We 'd get eclairs in Little Italy , grab a cappuccino around the corner and picnic / people watch from the fountain as people arrived for their shows . Surrounded by Broadway and three grand theatres , you can 't help but dream . We 'd stay till after intermission when audiences would float out to the terrace , champagne in hand . Then we 'd walk home , swept up in a sense of possibility . On this night , my boyfriend and I ran into a friend on the subway who proceeded to describe a rat that walked onto his train car that morning . " I don 't want to have this conversation , " put a stop to that reunion and I retreated to the lovely voices still singing in my head . Rats be gone . Tagsapril cleanse , detox , detoxify , doing a cleanse , food , green drinks , healthy eating , running , spring cleaning April 's arrival is the starting gun for my cleanse . The first year I did this marked a permanent shift from a vegetarian to a vegan and gluten free diet , and that was no small thing for me . For the first two weeks , I complained and craved bread , pasta and pastries like I 've never craved before . Buttery crackers dominated my thoughts . It wasn 't a very productive time , but I stuck with a 21 - day cleanse and finished feeling better than I had in years . It only feels right to go back to that place every April for a tune - up , and clean my habits , my body and my filthy mind . Kidding ! I am trying to watch my language , so I 'll add that to the little notebook I 'm using to keep myself in check this year . The crankiness is temporary and it 's not my fault . Cutting coffee is hard ! It 's even harder when I step out of the shower and smell a fresh brewed pot . Then watch MoonPie pour his first cup of the day . Then watch him take a sip , leaning in close to inhale as much flavor as possible before he scoots away to top himself off . We both work from home mostly and sit right across a table from each other . The man is never not drinking coffee , pouring only 1 / 4 cup at a time so it stays hot in the carafe and makes my first week without torture . About two weeks ago I began Project Get MoonPie to Cut Coffee , Too . Tried and failed . We don 't celebrate Easter , but he 's crazy about all the Eastern European foods available in our neighborhood around the holiday . He has agreed to go vegan and cut coffee and booze for a few days after Easter , but 21 days is too much to ask . He 's a cheese - loving meat eater , so that 'll be interesting . I hope he doesn 't get cranky . Our apartment needs cheer and I 've already claimed Not it ! My objective in getting him to try a cleanse is a big fat selfish pastry stuffed with best intentions . Cutting coffee and wine is much easier when the person you live with isn 't partaking - selfish . Things are more fun when MoonPie 's aboard - selfish . Cleaning the body of toxins and nourishing detoxifying organs is a good thing and I can 't be the only one running into my hundreds . Normally I do this for three weeks because my first experience was 21 days and it left me feeling like I 'd swapped my body with a healthy person . Now I 'm coming to this from a plant - based diet that 's already packed with wholefoods , so I 'm not sure about the duration yet . Three weeks isn 't necessary . Right now , it sounds like a long time go without coffee , but after a few days it won 't feel like deprivation . This I know . After a few days , flavors in tea stand out more . A cup of white peach tea with lemon becomes crave - able , according to last year 's journal . We 'll see . I wish the term " cleanse " wasn 't automatically associated with weird celebrity weight loss stories . I 'm not trying to lose weight ! I 'd love to gain weight - five pounds of muscle right in my arms - but this isn 't about weight at all . It 's about trying to be better to myself and more aware of the choices I make . I 'm also chasing that more peaceful version of myself I 've sometimes encountered . Get back here ! is probably not the best approach . Peaceful Me is like that wave you wait for in the ocean , the one that doesn 't come until it thinks you 're not ready . So you talk to the waves and say I 'm going in now and never mind people who look at you funny because your wave rolls up and carries you away . I miss swimming in the ocean . After a few years of sticking to Kris Carr 's 21 - Day cleanse , I 'm going a little rogue . Eating raw food is a drag . Some people love it . Not me . I gently cook food instead , which means less time at lower temperatures to preserve the enzymes , and make a lot more salads . Salads are raw , too , but unlike other raw foods , I don 't have to pretend a salad is an enchilada . So , gentle cooking and shooting for an 80 / 20 ratio of alkaline to acidic foods , spices and drinks . Alcohol , coffee , black tea , refined sugars and processed grains all get the boot . I 'm stocked up on green drink fixings , lemons , my favorite edamame hummus , quinoa , frozen blueberries and a lovely 90 % dark chocolate bar to quench my thirst for bitterness . Tagsbrooklyn , deer season , home hunting , moving out of nyc , New Jersey , nyc marathon , running , upstate ny I wasn 't able to make it back to Brooklyn to cheer on the NYC marathoners around mile 7 , per tradition . Hopefully someone handed out tissues and high - fives in my place . Strong winds are the worst when you 're tired . I returned late in the afternoon and headed out to the park for a short run . A few times the gusts were so strong I failed to move forward . Nothing like running in place up a hill . We spent the weekend driving around Upstate to look at places , again . No success , again . Late fall and winter is my favorite time to live in the city - no snow to shovel , not heating bill , no driving on icy roads - so I 'm feeling more patient about finding a new home . This is me looking on the bright side ! In these months of home hunting , I 've started looking for signs . Any indications that allows me to think this is the day we find IT . But signs don 't always tell you what you want to hear . On Saturday we must have seen five U - Hauls on the roads going north . At first this seemed like a clear indication this would soon be us . Moving ! Then I looked at the calendar . Of course , we 're going to see a ton of U - hauls on the first of the month . It was an interesting drive at least . We forgot to bring the GPS and neither of us had any charge on our phones . We left out of Andover , which is way up in North Jersey so the roads were unfamiliar . No problem , we figured we 'd grab a road map . There once was a time when every toll both carried road maps . No longer . When we asked for one these workers looked at us like we 'd stepped out of a time machine . Only one man told us they were supposed to have them , but he was out . Combined , MoonPie and I have the worst navigational skills and absolutely zero directional instincts when in a car . Our only asset when lost is the fact the we have no shame in stopping to ask for help . It took us twice as long to get there as it should have , the wind and rain didn 't help , but we made it in time to see a few more places . The first cottage had an exterior door in each of the three rooms , a roach in the sink and I touched the ceiling without stretching . So tempting , but we managed to resist . Heading back on Route 9 , otherwise known as Route Drive As Fast As You Can And Tailgate Like You Want To Become One With The Car Ahead , we were at the top of what felt like a mountain when a giant bucking deer popped up in front of us . It was dark and raining and the car behind us screeched right up to our bumper . Just as my bf slammed on the brakes , I noticed the steep drop just off the shoulder . This was one of those times when you 're fairly certain catastrophe was avoided simply because the right person was driving . We opted for back roads on the return and discovered Northwestern towns of Jersey must really love their Quick Checks . I love them , too , as the workers at various locations enthusiastically pointed us in the right direction home with hand gestures and everything . You 'd think people don 't ask directions anymore , as if there were this technology that can talk and direct you anywhere . It was actually a combined effort that included the most adorable human being I 've ever met , a waitress at a taco place outside of Port Jervis who thought it was hilarious that we were lost . I find it very difficult to retain a lot of information when someone gives me driving directions , so I just ask for the next two things I need to do and then stop again and so on . This waitress got us back on track to a meat deli in a barn that wasn 't a meat deli at all but a hopping Halloween party inside . Ben Franklin directed us to a Chatterbox and we managed to find our way back from there , but not before I tried to get myself disappeared . Before we went into the Meat Deli we were driving a black car . I didn 't have anything to drink but , after telling Frankenstein how to get to the adorable waitress at the taco place , I stepped out of the bar and into a red car to wait for MoonPie . I didn 't remember reclining the passenger seat and could 've sworn the car interior was black not white , but it was a long , long night and I was tired and who leaves their car unlocked ? After a few minutes I caught myself dozing off . Went looking for MoonPie and found him waiting for me in the correct car . Fortunately I was able to get my phone and notepad out of the red car that wasn 't ours with the owner none the wiser . This is not the first time I 've gotten into the wrong car . Must start paying more attention to these things . If you live Upstate and ever find a me sleeping in your car , I 'd be much obliged for a friendly wake - up - and - exit - my - vehicle tap . Nothing too abrupt or I will kick . Don 't worry , it probably won 't happen .
|
I once dreamed this . I saw a young man straddling the roof of a house . His legs swung back and forth as he sang at the top of his voice , " I am the world 's forgotten boy . . . " over and over . Even though it was a lament , I thought the young man must 've felt some sort of satisfaction as he sang it . Then I looked closer . The forgotten boy me at one time in his past - - too many times to count and too many times that I 'd like to remember . Back then , the contents of my mind and soul were under extreme pressure and might have exploded strongly if I hadn 't kept them to himself . Now , I was releasing them . After I woke up , I could not remember anything else . While The World 's Forgotten Boy role is attractive , so is The Little Boy Lost . He 's passive and inactive because any action won 't help him ; more likely , it 'll hurt him . It 's a part of me , but I don 't know the best way to use it , if I use it at all , instead of letting it dominate me or totally repressing it . I 'm still trying to figure that one out . ADDENUM : The phrase " the world 's forgotten boy " comes from a Stooges song . The line after it is : The one who searches and destroy . But right after that , the world 's forgotten boy sings : Honey gotta help me please / Somebody 's gotta save my soul . So , I must be aware of that . It 's been a while since I 've presented some cheesecake for you , my readers . So I just decided to do it now , and I have just the thing : Eva Longoria , star of the ABC nighttime soap opera Desperate Housewives , wife of San Antonio Spur guard Tony Parker , and very , very pretty / sexy / delectable . You might noticed that she isn 't wearing a bra . I believe someone must 've put something on the inside of her dress so that she displays that kind of cleavage without a possibility of the dress opening and therefore showing a bare bosom - - not that I would complain about that . Enjoy ! Earthquakes tend to be rare in this part of the United States . Because of their rareness , I post this about two of them that happened within the last six years . I came across notes about one of the quakes last week while going through some old journals , and decided to combine it with an older post . I was asleep in bed on the morning of Friday , April 18 , 2008 , when I heard the window sills of my apartment rattling . That didn 't bother me because they often did that when the wind blew strongly . But when i felt my bed start to shake , I thought : Hey - - this must be an earthquake ! It was . It hit the Midwest around 5 : 35 a . m . that day . its epicenter was the town of West Salem , Illinois , which is northwest of Evansville , Indiana . news reports said it had a rating of 5 . 2 on the Richter scale . I also felt what i thought was a small aftershock - - much lower in scale - - around 12 : 30 p . m . Later , I found out that April 18 was , by coincidence , the 102th anniversary of the infamous San Francisco earthquake . Instruments weren 't available then to measure its power , but scientists now believe that it was between 7 . 8 and 8 . 3 on the Richter scale . Between 8 a . m . to 8 : 05 a . m . on Sept . 12 , 2004 , there was an earthquake that measured a 3 . 6 on the Richter scale . The epicenter was about five miles north of Shelbyville , Indiana , a town that 's about 30 - 40 miles south of where I live . I didn 't feel anything because the Richter scale was so low , but shakes were felt on the east side of Indianapolis and Marion County - - especially in the town of Cumberland and the intersection of East 16th Street and Ritter Avenue . Here 's a quote from Bruce Springsteen . It ran in an 2005 issue of Mojo , an English music magazine - - I 'm sorry because I didn 't get the month it was published - - in an article by Phil Sutcliffe about the 30th anniversary of Springsteen 's album Born To Run : We live in a tragic world , but there 's grace all around you . That 's tangible . So you try to attend to the grace . That 's how I try to guide my life . . . Grace , to me , it 's just the events of the day , the living breath of ourlives . Ace : There 's two kinds of people : Them that 's got , and them that ain 't got enough . Deuce : Two classes , you mean . And straighten up your grammar . Ace : Well , those are the two big groups . Then there are those who have enough and don 't want any more . But there are few of them around . Deuce : And since they 're content , they don 't make much noise , so you don 't notice them . Satisfaction 's a very hard thing to find or get in this world . And it 's a very hard thing to keep when you find it or get to it . And hey - - I just realized : Malcontents and the discontented make things happen if they 're not running things . Malcontents and the discontented could act from reasons like anger , rage , and hatred all the way to a desire to do something different for its own sake - - for the hell of it , for no utilitarian reasons , with no benefit seen or wanted . Things done for a reason : Is that heaven ? If that 's so , then give me hell . Ace : You 're sure full of the bullshit today . Deuce : You should talk . And I 'm surprised that you stayed awake to hear what I said . There was something about the bookish ladies ; they weren 't comfortable with their bodies . They were definitely not alive below the waist . But X knew of some skinny women who had a certain sexual style that they emitted like perfume . They weren 't juicily sexy , with breasts and hips that any straight man would notice . Their style came from a true comfort with the flesh and its desires in general and their bodies specifically . Last year , an Indianapolis - area radio station was playing the songs on its playlist in alphabetical order . When i heard the song Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty , I fell into a small funk . Baker Street was a bland and sappy pop song that came out during the summer of 1977 . It was not a happy time for me . I had just started working for a poorly run newspaper in a small town in central Indiana . ( Someday I may write about it . But not today ) I also was living with relatives . Neither they nor I enjoyed the situation . So the first time i heard Baker Street , I thought : Is this the best music to play on the radio ? It just can 't be . So there was bad music atop a bad situation at work and life . At the time , I slipped into the blues . And regarding the blues , there was terrible version of the blues song Black Betty played by a band named Ramjam . It was on its album Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Ram . As it 's said in Yiddish : Oy gevalt ! If I had known about punk rock , I would 've listened to it instead . But that type of music wasn 't played over the radio back then and there . But back to last year . After Baker Street was played , the next song was The Ballad of John and Yoko , which is one of my most favorite songs by the Beatles . When I heard it , I felt a lot happier . I 've posted in the blog the differences I see in posts I entitle vignettes , like the one written before this one ( and located after it , because that 's the way the internet works ) , and those I entitle short stores . If you want to find the differences , please click here . Also , these vignettes are like scenes from a novel that 's been going through my head . Someday , I might organize them . Imagine some one some limited in experience that , to him , Anderson and Kokomo and Marion and Muncie - - all industrial small cities in Indiana - - were big cities . As for bigger cities , either living in them or even going to them - - here was his reactions : Indianapolis - - doubtful . Chicago - - very doubtful . New York - - no way ! I didn 't have to imagine such a man . I knew one like that . I 'll call him Eddards . He told me he couldn 't live in cities like Indianapolis , let alone Chicago or New York , because there was too much traffic and that would drive him crazy . I also knew he couldn 't tolerate the greater number of black people who live in those cities , but I kept that to myself . I didn 't want to alienate him because of his racism , but I would try like hell not to keep in that much contact with him . At 9 a . m . Saturday , the Indianapolis Motor Speedway opens its gates to the public for the first time of its annual Indianapolis 500 presentation . I don 't know if it 's me , or the situation , but the race just doesn 't make for a lot of interest . When I was younger , the whole month of May was devoted to the 500 . There were two weekends set aside to qualify for the race , and many big names ran in the race ; some of them were A . J . Foyt , Marion Andretti , and the Unser brothers . This year , qualifications will only be one weekend - - May 22 and 23 - - and one of the biggest names who will participate is Danica Patrick , known more for her looks than for her racing prowess . The change happened about the middle 1990s , when open wheel racing split into two circuits . One was the Indy Racing League , led by Tony George , the owner of the Speedway . The other one was CART , led by Roger Penske , a race car owner . NASCAR drove right through the split on its way to becoming the major racing organization in the United States . I don 't follow NASCAR that intently , but I know more of their drivers than I do most of the open wheel drivers . Also , many of the big names had retired from open wheel racing , leaving little knowns to participate . Some are little known still . Whatever the reasons , I 'll follow it , if not intently , until the race , which is scheduled for May 30 . When it took up the whole month of May , much of the Indianapolis media made a big thing of the 500 . It was called " The Greatest Spectacle In Racing . " But I realized that it was just another stop on the circuit one year when I noticed that many big drivers who were out of the race because of mechanical problems made no efforts to get back in the race to win it . I realized this back in the 1970s , and this is the first time I 've written about it . Company man is a contradiction . . . like virgin whore . . . * Fat . So ? * This idea came to me in a dream : Jason Alexander is James Gandolfini 's Mini - Me . * Troglodikes are lesbians who look like cavewomen . * When she grinned , it was a grimace , as if she was either struggling with a bowel movement or being forced by some power to do some violation of and to her body and soul . * " They 've set the universe on fire ! " * The college fraternity was 25 to 30 boozer business majors and five sober pre - law majors - - the future rulers of the ruling class . * She swings her hips , enticing the men . She 's like a bitch in heat . Such a slut , but a lovable slut . She would tease , but always would please . * " There are no innocent bystanders - - just people who aren 't involved as of now . " " Even the innocent ? Even babies ? " " Yes , even them . They 're just on the sidelines and not ready to get into the game yet . " * After X , the sour old bitch , had died , I didn 't mourn the end of her life but that she lived it poorly . I was relieved that she was dead ; she could no longer spread her terrible attitude throughout the atmosphere like a cloud of poisonous gas . * Life goes off . . . the tracks . . . or to the side . . . Also . . . Life goes on . . . or comes off . . . Few things are as pathetically ugly as the middle - aged flunky in an organization . The young flunky , willing to do the dirty work : I can understand him . He 's learning lessons and scoring points so he can advance . The middle - aged flunky , though , somewhere and sometime he might 've lost his nerve and never took his boss ' place . Or maybe he was hired because his boss sensed that the flunky wouldn 't push him aside . He would be content under his boss ' wing , eating the crumbs from his table . Here 's another common place post I 'll post here . It ran in the December 2004 issue of Esquire magazine . Unfortunately , I forgot to note the author : The bigger problem with Great Man biopics , though , involves dramatic structure , or rather its inevitable absence . Simply put , real people 's lives don 't conform to narrative expectation . They tend to be random and discursive . And then this happened and then that happened , and so on . It 's not a problem is you 're telling the Joe Blow story , since only historians and the Blow family will object to the necessary omissions and distortions . When the subject is famous , though , there are always at least a dozen defining episodes that have to be included - - you can 't make Pollock ( a movie about the abstract expressionist painter ) without showing him looking down curiously at some paint he just spelled - - and some the movie becomes little more than a rickety frame supporting those episodes . That 's why the finest biopic yet made is Thirty Two Short Films About Glenn Gould , an obscure Canadian picture ( though it somehow formed the basis for an entire episode of The Simpsons ) that presents the pianist 's life as a kaleidoscopic jumble of glancing , isolated moments , few of any real significance . At the end of the movie , you got a tiny glimpse of the man . But that glimpse is more than most biopics offer . P . D . thought : It 's raining like a BITCH , man . It 's falling hard , like little sharp rocks from the sky . I can 't put their sounds into something somewhat pronounceable as the drops hit the window , the roof , and the parking lot . PING is not even close . It 's more like pon , puh puh pong as it falls , especially on the gutter . He tried to tell if there was a pattern in the falling rain by listening , but he found none . The rain would fall heavy , then not at all , then heavy and light again . And the temperature was cold , too . He thought , I 'm glad it 's a Saturday . This rain and cold makes it a good day to sleep . I wrote this back in November 1993 , after the Cleveland Browns released Bernie Kosar . He was the starting quarterback and , if I remember correctly , the most popular Brown since Jim Brown . He and Bill Bellichek , then the Browns ' head coach , were at odds . Bellichek wanted to control the offense , while Kosar wanted to do it . I noted that as the death of individualism in professional football , and predicted that it would fade as a spectator sport because machine precision and violence would dominate the game . Now 16 plus years later , the NFL is bigger than ever . I liked the sport then and still do , mostly because I love to watch the patterns happen on the field during an individual play . Also , one of my dreams was to be a great halfback . But that never happened . I don 't regret it , at least consciously . Whether I have a small regret unconsciously about it , I don 't know . At least it doesn 't break through to my consciousness . A month later , I wrote this in my journal : Pro football is not a microcosm of life any more than it 's a symbol of war or peace or your Aunt Fannie 's Pekinese pup . There are poetic types who can find a microcosm of life in a slice of cheese on a china plate , and if that helps them get through the day , l more power to them . But pro football is pro football and life is whatever the hell it is . It 's by Bob Carroll , from his book When the Grass Was Real : A History of the NFL and AFL . I once worked with a black woman named Helen H . One day , the screen of her computer was full of the alphabet soup that often comes when they go on the fritz . ( I can 't produce it here . Imagine it for yourself or remember the times that it happened to you . ) She said , " My computer 's speaking in tongues . " That was a natural and unintended witty saying . To understand it , you ought to have some knowledge of Pentacostalism . I was thinking of things that aren 't truly necessary and truly don 't help mankind . On the list is the spork . If you use it as a spoon , you can scratch your lips - - or worse yet , the inside of your mouth - - with the prongs . Now if you ever have tried to put a bandage on your lip , it won 't stick because it 's too wet . God help you with a cut in your mouth caused by misuse of spork . If you use it as a fork , it usually doesn 't keep the piece of food you want to cut pinned down . When you keep stabbing at it , the spork 's handle often breaks . That leaves you a small handle to grip . And if you ever had tried to use a spork with a very short handle . . . you have my sympathy . I won 't call the spork a piece of silverware ; that gives it a dignity it doesn 't deserve and is a true misnomer . Wikipedia has an entry on the spork . If you want to read it , click here . I didn 't know that backpackers often use it . I 'm not an outdoorsman , so i didn 't know that . If i offended any backpackers with this post , i apologize . But i say this in my defense . Sporks are often used in places like fastfood restaurants , school cafeterias , and prisons . I don 't like those three institutions and try to stay as far away from them as i can . By the way - - you never find a spork as a regular piece of cutlery at your better restaurants . Some people are trying to find a place for the spork in the greater scheme of things . Here is one of their efforts . I saw it recently on the net : Back in March 1994 , I was idly watching a documentary on a PBS television station about Kodiak Island and its bears . It truly fascinated me . Afterward , I realized why bears are such beloved animals . They 're cute : Even the ones who could kill you with a swipe of a paw . I can 't say that about , say , lions and tigers . Then there are bear cubs : Big , furry , and even more lovable than adult bears . It 's no wonder why kids love them . The kid inside me could love them , too , if I let myself do that . I also found out that adult male bears often eat bear cubs during their first year of life . Intra - species cannibalism : I only thought humans did that . OneSlocum didn 't hate women . He was just afraid of them regarding romance and love , because he feared rejection by them . TwoHe once loved a girl and she rejected him . That broke his heart . ThreeA girl once loved him and he rejected her . That broke her heart . FourHe thought so little of himself that he fell into unrequited love with two women who were nice to him , and he mistook if for something more serious . FiveHe hated the conformity and conventionality of some women , especially those from the middle class . Many of his relatives and inlaws were like that , unfortunately . SixHe knew he didn 't want a nice girl who wasa motherly type , though he could use that a lot more than a lot of men . SevenHe knew what he wanted from women , but often wondered if that ideal woman would want him . He doubted it . EightHe was inhibited . He was afraid of getting out there . He feared that his issues would drift off him like the stink from a sweat - drenched man . That was definitely a reason for rejection or not even to get involved . You could break the law - - you could kill someone after a cold meditation about it or in the hottest of blood - - and sometimes it doesn 't matter that much . That is , if you kill someone that 's lower on the social and economic ladder , and especially if you repent of it . But break the mores and you 're an outcast . I learned that back in high school , after I read The Stranger by Albert Camus . In the book , Mersault , the protagonist , was on trial for shooting an Arab . What shocked the court , though , was the fact that he started an affair soon after the death of his mother , who was in a nursing home . This morning I was writing in my journal , as I usually do after I wake and have a cup of coffee to start the day . As I thought , I came to this realization : I have refused to put on the hard shell that many men have put on to protect themselves pain and other bad emotions like sadness , sorrow , grief , or fear . And I have made it a hard refusal - - a " Fuck - That - Shit ! " attitude behind my decision - - and not a decline , which can be polite - - " Thank you very much , but no thank you . " I see those hard shells trap many men . They have worn those shells so long that it 's a second skin to their souls . Remove it from them and they are as helpless as lobsters and turtles without their shells . But to my disadvantage , I never found a good replacement for the hard shell . Because of that , I 've floundered . No male older than me showed me or told me about a different way . Also , I wasn 't brave enough to create and follow my own way , a different way . I have hid . Now I must go out . And that admission is very personal by the standards that I 've set for the posts in this blog . Ace : You know what ? Deuce : What ? Ace : I 'm pretty white - - or fair skinned , to be exact . Deuce : That 's true . Ace : So I 've decided not to get a tan this summer . I 'm going to be working on my pale . Deuce : That 's nice to know . Ace : I also created a new phrase . Deuce : What is it ? Ace : It 's " Zee this off . " It means " Let 's end this , quit doing this , especially because it 's boring . " It comes from Z , the last letter of the alphabet and ZZZ , the sound of someone snoring . Deuce : Damn , you 're creative ! Ace : I got this question for you . If a guy had a glass eye , false teeth , and a hip replacement - - how much of a cyborg is he ? Deuce : Hard to tell . Ace : I forgot . The guy also wears glasses and uses a hearing aid . I noted these things back in December 1994 : The oldest and largest living organism isn 't an animal . It 's a underground fungus that 's about 37 acres large and 10 thousand years old . It 's in Michigan 's Upper Peninsula right by the Wisconsin border : Cro - Magnon Man and Neanderthal Man co - existed about 35 thousand years ago until Cro - Magnon Man pushed out / co - opted / killed the Neanderthals . It 's everywhere , at all the stores . In fact , it dominates . There 's only one or two boxes of anything different : Say chocolate or coconut cream . " Chocolate ? Coconut ? We haven 't had them here in . . . oh . . . years now , " says the store owner . " Chocolate ? Isn 't that queer to want it ? " says a young woman who was working the cash register . It 's as if you hear , behind their words , the subtext of What 's wrong with you ? Your desire for anything different than vanilla might as well be illegal . You think : Why doesn 't the legislature pass a law against all other tastes ? Then you realize that such a law would be redundant . * The above came to me between 5 - 5 : 30 a . m . in the middle of December 1996 . One weekend morning in a town where I used to live , I went into the local grocery store . On the bulletin board outside the door was a card advertising the Ku Klux Klan . I took down the card , and was about halfway tempted to call the number and talk with them . I went back to the grocery store that afternoon . A copy of the same card had been re - posted . I thought it was probably done by someone who worked at the store . I was driving today when I noticed a local gas station selling gas at $ 2 . 929 a gallon . If I remember correctly , it was being sold for about five cents less this weekend . This is about the average price of a gallon of gas sold in the Indianapolis area . If you want to check a news story about it , please click here . As I checked for prices in the past , I found that gas was selling for $ 2 . 599 a gallon in February - - the middle of a horrible spell of weather - - and for $ 1 . 85 . 9 a gallon back in January of 2009 . Here 's another commonplace post entry . It comes from the March 3 , 2008 issue of The New Yorker . It 's about the television show Breaking Bad . Unfortunately , I forgot to note the author . I don 't feel won over by the show . It 's more than two - dimensional , and yet somehow less than three . Eighteen years ago , Twin Peaks gave us the thrill of artfulness , black humor , weirdness , and mystery combined with the letdown of meta - shaggy storytelling and notional characters . A wide range of shows in the post - Twin Peaks television landscape have occupied the same inorganic , two - and - a - half dimensional world . Breaking Bad is very well done , but it has a bleakness that seems to be manufactured for no good reason . In its spiral down toward nothingness , Breaking Bad pulls viewers down with it , just because it can .
|
Happy has gone to Germany to work all ready . Our countdown has begun as well . Movers show up on the 9th . ( 9 DAYS ! ! ! ! ) We 'll live in a hotel for the week while the kids finish up school , and then we will pack up the cats and drive to Hamburg on the 12th . ( 12 DAYS ! ! ! ! ) I 'm only a little bit stressed , but I am compensating by making lists and it seems to be working . Once I write something on my list it 's almost like I consider it " started " . . . like cleaning my floors . I HATE cleaning my floors so I just keep writing it on the next days list and I feel better about avoiding it . I currently have seven lists stuck to the wall of my kitchen : - Things to remind Happy to follow up on - Things NOT to pack - Things TO pack for hotel stay - Things to do NOW and get them over with - Things for Happy to do this weekend - Things I need to do on specific days ( There are really 12 of these lists . . . one for each day . ) - Names of people that have RSVP to our Movie Night and Sleepover party this Friday . Yes . . . When you are feeling busy you should invite the entire school over to your house for a Movie Night . : ) THEN ask the girls to stay and spend the night . : ) This will be fine though , it will help the week go by faster because I 've decided that waiting for the move is the worst part . I just had a scary thought . . . . When Scotty gets big I 'll have to invite BOYS to spend the night . Boys are crazy . : ) Girls just sit around and giggle . So that is my moving plan . It really won 't be hard . Really . . . Movers come and pack it all . I have three days of an empty house so I can clean it . . . . and I have a handful of moms I know I can call if I get stuck . I don 't even have to leave at a certain time ; no planes to catch , no deadlines , no school until March 1st . I don 't need to be anywhere in any hurry . . . la la la . . . my life is one big relaxing event . : ) So I 'll go to bed now . . . without cleaning the floors . : ) Michaela wants me to write something . Whoever would like for MICHAELA to write something please say so . . . . Maybe if I get enough people to " sign " a petition she will start writing on her own blog . . . instead of telling me to hurry up and write something on mine . : ) Germany has decided we are good enough to live there . : ) After three short hours in the " Hamburg Welcome Center " we have our Visas ! Paul even walked out with a German " Green Card " ! Pretty good deal for 500 euros ! ( . . . considering we spent $ 5000 on his American Green Card , which they just took away because we missed one appointment , this would be a WHOLE different topic ! ) Here 's how our German Visas worked . In case you care . : ) We showed up at 9 : 00am at the Hamburg Welcome Center . Actually , we showed up at 8 : 15 and spent 45 minutes trying to park . . . but once we made it inside the kids played with toys and Paul went back and forth between another room and the " kid room " so I could sign when needed . After about an hour we left to get some breakfast across the street . Andrea had a full blown meltdown which was just great ; she was exhausted because we had to disturb her beauty sleep that morning at the hotel . . . We returned back to the Welcome Center 45 minutes later and we were handed our passports with new shiny visas in them . My favorite part of the whole deal was when we got the visas they gave us a little bag of goodies : Hamburg pens , Hamburg lanyards , Hamburg luggage tags , and some Welcome to Hamburg books in English . : ) It made me happy to get the bag . The first thing I thought when I saw the bag was , " Gee in Denmark I GAVE BIRTH and I didn 't get me a " Freebie Bag " . So I like Hamburg because they gave me a bunch of Hamburg paraphernalia that will sit around my new Hamburg house . . . . it 's the thought that counts . PS . In AMERICA . . . when you have a baby you get a huge basket full of fruit , non - alcoholic champagne , diapers , baby clothes , bibs , free coupons , and other baby things . . . even a diaper bag and insulated bag for food / milk . : ) We did go check out our house again too . . . just to remind ourselves what it looked like . Good thing we still liked it . Michaela and Sierra made sure they wanted the rooms they picked , and Michaela traded rooms . She switched the " sink " room for the " bookshelf " room . : ) . . . so now Scotty has Posted by Big party this weekend . . . at my house . Paul is having his " Going Away Party " with his work group . . . and it is here . 16 adults , 10 kids . . . fun times . : ) Yesterday I bought new plates since at our big party last weekend I was short one plate . . . I had to wash one to serve the last person . . . we are cool like that . Today I decided I needed a tablecloth to go with my plates . Long story . Just trust me , I needed a tablecloth . Off I go with Andrea to buy one . La la la la la . . . I found one I wanted . It was too expensive . 180 kroner . $ 35 . I kept looking , no way would I pay $ 35 for a tablecloth ! ! ! I found the same one at another store . . . still too expensive but cheaper than the last store so I decided I 'd buy it since I was a bargain shopper and obviously found a deal at only $ 30 . AND my husband has told me numerous times that if it will make me happy I can buy it . : ) So he had technically pre - approved this purchase . Following my husband 's recommendation to buy things that make me happy , I told the saleswoman I wanted to buy the tablecloth . She rolled it off and cut it for me . . . and as she was cutting I realized that the price was . . . per meter . I needed four meters . So because my husband told me to buy this tablecloth I accidentally spent $ 100 . At least I 'm happy , right Happy ? Tablecloths here must be a cool thing to have in Denmark though . Stores have lots of these big rolls outside their stores and the tablecloths are rolled up like wrapping paper on them . There are a zillion different patterns and colors and most are pretty darn tacky . I wonder if most people use tablecloths on a daily basis . Why are there so many choices ? We hardly ever use a tablecloth . We only use them when we bring out out the not pretty folding table . . . Nobody better spill anything on my tablecloth that 's all I have to say . ( it 's not purple , it 's dark blue . . . ) : ) Scotty had his first sleep over ! ! ! ! We are friends with a great Swedish family . . . ( remember Andrea 's FIRST babysitter ? ) . They have two girls and a boy who is in the 2 - 3 grade class at school , Johan . . . and Scotty thinks Johan is super cool because he likes to play video games as much as he does ! So when the girls were invited to stay the night little Scotty tagged along and had a great time ! : ) He did not miss mommy 's night - night hug , I didn 't get a 3 : 00am call saying a little boy wanted his mommy , I didn 't even get a second glance when I walked in the next morning . I felt so unloved ! : ) It 's okay , I still have Andrea . . . she can 't stand to be without me . : ) . . . but I know enough to know that kids that don 't NEED you are even better ! This was the night I went to a Wii party with the other moms . I haven 't laughed so hard since I 've been here ! It was so funny ! ! We played Wii Fit Plus and a hilarious dancing game . Too funny ! ! : ) I don 't know if I was more tired from flapping like a bird or from laughing so hard ! Wii Party was Friday night . Saturday night was dinner at my place with the above mentioned Swedish family and some other unexpected guests . . : ) It was crazy and crowded , but fun . Sunday was our big toy sale in which the kids made 550 kroner . . . another crazy and crowded event . : ) Sunday was also Michaela 's piano recital . She did really well . I couldn 't see very well . . . because the recital was held in a piano store . : ) This made me smile . Here 's a video of them all playing together . I still can 't believe she can use both of her hands to play and follow the music . : ) After my crazy crowded weekend I was happy to send all kids to school today . I was not so thrilled to discover that all surfaces outside had turned to ice though . Everything was just ice ; the sidewalks , the driveway snow , parking lot , I almost fell on my butt 8 times . When I picked Scotty up from bornehaven he was sliding down the ice hill on HIS butt with all the other boys . They were just crashing into the pile of sleds at the bottom . They must have decided you slide just as easily without a sled . : ) None of the kids on the playground were walking . They were all sitting in various spots , playing . It was really too slippery for anyone to walk anywhere . : ) Tomorrow we will ice skate on the driveway . I also need to mention that my wonderful husband took my HUGE shopping list AND all four kids to Bilka tonight . Only one who has done a huge shopping trip at Bilka can fully appreciate this . I stayed at home , took a shower , vacuumed , finished the laundry and ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes . : ) Thanks Happy ! I finally did it . . . and despite being embarrassed while actually doing it I will now admit to it in hopes of helping others with the same problem . I bought a pair of pants . . . for myself , . . . size 12 - 13 , . . . years old . I HAD to . . . I have tried on countless pants and they are all flopping off the end of my feet . I 'm just too short ! ! It 's silly how tall people think I should be . I 'm not that short . I 'm 5 ' 3 ' ' . . . okay well 5 ' 2 . 5 " . I 've seen shorter . : ) Over the past two years all my pants have come from stores which have special " short " pants for me . I 'm okay with being labeled " short " . . . I 've been " short " all my life and gotten pretty used to it . I even like it . . . . except when buying pants ! ! ! Here in Denmark I 've only found one store , Esprit , that sells " short " pants and even then only they only carry them in some styles . Frustrating ! However , to go with my new high - stylin ' boots I got for Christmas , but haven 't worn yet , I needed new pants . SHORT ones . . . Which brings me to learn about these things called " leggings " ! Wow ! they look like jeans , but they aren 't . I may be fashion - challenged or perhaps I just don 't pay attention . . maybe I spend too much time picking out cute fuzzy pink things for Poozle instead of myself . SO . I 'm now the proud owner of a pair of " not - really - jeans " . :) . . . and they will fit in my high - stylin boots . : ) HA ! I wonder where I will debut my new outfit ! ! Maybe my husband should take me out on a date ? Back to my initial confession . Yes , I did buy 12 year old pants just so they would be the right lenght . I do feel a little better knowing they don 't fit perfectly in the waist because I have hips . : ) After all , I have given birth four times . . . hopefully unlike any other 12 year old : ) Here it is ! ! ! ! It 's a very unique house . : ) My favorite part is that this house is 800 meters from the school . Can you say , " Bye kids , have a nice walk to school . . . see you when you walk yourselves BACK HOME ! ! ! " : ) It 's even a few minute walk from a train station ! : ) Yippie ! Of course we can only afford this home in the neighborhood of mansions because it is an " apartment " . It 's really just a HUGE house and the owner , an older lady , lives on the very bottom floor . We get the top two floors . . . 185 square meters . . . whatever that means . I understand size in terms of rooms . So , rooms . It has many , many rooms . : ) The four on the very top floor will be the kids living quarters . There is also a kids kitchen . Hmmmm . . . . ? ? But I guess this means an extra oven if I ever need it , OR it means it will be Michaela 's kitchen and she can feed the kids . They could survive up there . . . . all on their own . . . : ) There are also sinks in two of the bedrooms . . . . don 't know why , but this should solve the arguments over who gets to brush their teeth first . The rooms are pretty big too . . . . and a bathroom is up there . So the top floor is the KID AREA . : ) The second floor is : our bedroom , a big bathroom , the kitchen . . . which we can fit a small bench table in or something . . . but for eating dinner as a family we will adjourn to the eating room . . . . Next to the living room . There is then another random room and another random room . . . I 'm thinking - Guest room and Toy Room . . . . and two balconies , one in the front and one in the back . AND a HUGE yard . . . AND a garage with automatic garage door opener . AND a gated driveway that has an automatic opener too ! : ) It 's an old , interesting house . . . I 'm sure it has quite the history . I wish everyone that had ever lived in it had written a little something about it . It would be interesting . So I 'm done bragging about our house . Oh wait . . . it has carpet and a bath tub . Okay , now I 'm done . I can go and write Christmas cards now because I now have a return address to give people . : ) I love Hilde . She saved my family from freezing to death on the side of a dark off ramp just five short minutes from our home , where our car was stuck because . . . . . . . we had run out of gas . YES . I will admit to it because I wasn 't driving and we ALL KNOW what responsibilities a DRIVER has . : ) We were coming back from a long weekend of trying to find the perfect Hamburg home . We really were just a few mintues from our home . We just didn 't make it . The car slowed to a stop at the end of the freeway off ramp . Super . Three hours of driving , four kids , FIVE minutes from home , - 2 degrees and snow outside . . . It 's 4 : 30 pm and the sun is setting . . . Ahhhhhh . . . . . My life . : ) I called Hilde . I knew she would save me . . . . and she did ! ! ! She quickly showed up a half hour later . She would have been there sooner had finding a gas can been an easier task . The kids actually waited patiently in the car while we assured them we wouldn 't freeze to death . It wasn 't too bad , just an extra 45 minutes . . . sitting in a dark car . Nope , nobody stopped . I even stood on the side of the road for a while waiting to see the mickey mouse antenna ball on Hilde 's car . . . I 've never been so happy to see her in all my life ! ! Hilde . Thank you ! ! ! I 'll rummage through the kids things and find you a medal of some sort . : ) We owe you ! Tak ! e ⋅ chid ⋅ naEchidnaAlso called spiny anteater . any of several insectivorous monotremes of the genera Tachyglossus , of Australia , Tasmania , and New Guinea , and Zaglossus , of New Guinea , that have claws and a slender snout and are covered with coarse hair and long spines . Michaela taught me about echidnas today . Apparently an echidna is NOT a porcupine . . . . I shoveled snow today . I have never truly " shoveled " snow because I HAD to . It was extremely un - fun . First thing I learned : - Wear Gloves . My hands hurt SO bad when I came back inside . After 15 minutes I couldn 't feel them anymore . . . really . I thought I had done something bad . Yes , I know wearing gloves would have been smart so I don 't need comments on that . . . . Second thing I learned : - When snow sits for a week and people walk on it every day it turns to ice . Third thing I learned : - You can 't shovel ice . So . Those are my three helpful hints of the day about shoveling ice / snow . Why did I choose 7 : 30 am in - 3 degree weather to shovel snow do you ask ? I 'll tell you . When I came home from dropping off Paul at work I saw my downstairs neighbor was out there . I would have felt bad for weeks if I didn 't help . So I took my trusty red and yellow toy shovel out to the sidewalk and offered to help . : ) ( It 's the only shovel we have . ) That 's when I learned that the city had told her she had until 8 : 00am to clear the sidewalk completely or else they would send someone out to do it and we would get the bill . Apparently several people on the street had received this notice because we were not the only ones out shoveling snow before the sun came up . I would like to be the City Sidewalk Police . OR I wonder if someone told on us . . . maybe the lady across the street who sweeps her sidewalks clear three times a day told on us . But at least now I know why she sweeps her sidewalks three times a day . She must have already learned the " Second and Third Things " that I only learned today . So Erin , I hope this was an amusing enough of a story for you . I hope you enjoyed Hawaii and playing in the sand and sun and swimming and snorkling and hiking . I got frostbite today and it was fantastically wonderful . : ) I 've answered these questions for more than one person who has come across my blog in an attempt to figure out how to move to Denmark . : ) So my new plan is to answer these questions here in the blog so maybe it will help someone else . . . . and anyone else can give their own advice too . Taxi from Aarhus Airport : Taxi to downtown Aarhus from airport . . . At least $ 75 . 00 I 'm guessing . Airport to downtown is about 30 minutes . I 'm not exactly sure , but a 15 minute taxi ride from Aarhus to our house is always around $ 40 . 00 . If you want to take a taxi , call me , I 'll pick you up in exchange for a can of cream of celery and a box of lucky charms ! : ) What a deal ! ! They do have an airport " shuttle " bus . . . a blue one . . . called the " airbus " . I think ? It goes directly to the main train station where you can get a train or any bus in town . It leaves from the airport 20 minutes or so after every plane lands . I think you can buy a ticket on the bus ? For some reason I want to say a ticket costs ~ $ 30 . 00 . If you call the aarhus airport they can give you details on times and cost and HOW to pay . You might need kroner . I take no responsibility if you show up and my bus info is not valid . : ) Buses are great here . They go everywhere , I had never rode on a bus until coming here and it 's been a fine way to get around . . . almost more convenient than my car . There is also a tourist information place near the train station . It 's not inside , if you are looking at the front of the station . . . go right , past all the bikes . . . . across the street . They have bus maps , etc . Cell phone : I made a cell phone store man very mad one day when I interrupted him trying to sell an phone to a student who wanted a phone for only a few months . . . I couldn 't sit there and listen to this poor teenager get ripped off . He was totally being lied to ! Prepaid minutes is the best way to go . I paid $ 150 for a used phone and minutes that lasted me an entire year . If your cell phone is unlocked you can just get a Danish chip that will give you a Danish number and you are set . I thiPosted by So we started looking for houses in Germany . . . . with all the kids . That was super fun . ( Remember I have dibs on the sarcasm font ? ) In every house they argued over which room would be theirs . : ) I guess they did pretty well though and I think looking at new houses made them more excited . - Scotty would prefer that we leave whatever house we get empty because there is more room to run . - Seriously . Andrea would plop down and crawl on any carpet we came across . She would rub her head and face on it . I PROMISE . . . the next house we live in will have fuzzy carpet in at least one room . . . " the - fuzzy - carpet - room " . There will be NO chairs in it . In the " the - fuzzy - carpet - room " you sit and lay on the floor . - Michaela and Sierra want the expensive houses . : ) Happy , get ready to fork over 4100 euros a month ! HA , YAH RIGHT ! 4100 euros ? That is . . . hold on , let me google it . . . . 5872 . 00 US Dollars ! ! ! ? ? ! . . . A MONTH ! ! ! ! I don 't care how nice the house is . It can be across the street from the school . There is no way on earth that I will pay that much money ! ! ! I have " upgraded " many things in my life but spending that much on a house I am NOT ready to do . I 'm pretty sure I could feed a small country for a day for that much money ! . . . needless to say , we are expanding our search to some cities outside Hamburg to keep the cost down . : ) . . . and honestly the expensive houses aren 't even nice . They are old . . . just in the " yuppie " part of town . - I don 't want to live in a rich neighborhood . I want to live with normal people . I think " normal people " are nicer and more accepting of others . - I don 't like the people who think they need to have the best of everything and who end up thinking they are better than those who don 't have the best of everything . I want to kick these people . . . hard . . . in the shins . Anyways , we found a great house outside of Hamburg 20 minutes . . . . just like we are now here in Denmark . . . a little outside of the " city " . It 's such a perfect house . . . . but it 's kinda in a weird location . I want to go back this week and see how trafficPosted by 147 , 000km . It 's sparkling graphite colored . . . which translates to grey . It has tan leather interior . . . because who wants to look at a dark interior on a dark Hamburg day . : ) If you are interested I can email you all the details . Car is green sticker - ed , just passed his state test , and had his breaks replaced . New . Electric Fan heater . 10 euros Microfiber . Never really used as a couch so it 's clean . It just sits in our spare bedroom until we turn it into a bed for guests . My mom slept on it for three weeks and didn 't complain . . . and she would have if it was uncomfortable . : ) I just found the " couch paperwork " . . . turns out he 's Italian . . : ) Here is the ottoman that goes with the couch . It 's the same color . . . flash didn 't go off . 21 " samsung resolution ( 1200 x 1600 ) This one is special because the screen swivels around and makes it vertical opposed to horizontal . See ? Cool huh ? ; ) Ouuuhhh . . . a Danish light . Think of how trendy you could be ! ! I believe it mounts onto the wall and accordions out . Comes with a paper lamp shade . 5 euros Mirror doors . Has hanging bar and four sliding out drawers . . . Big wardrobe closet . 500 euros Avent Baby Monitor . 50 euros . New was 120 , ugh . . . 20 euros European Bed that fits American sheets for some reason . Two drawers below that pull out on rollers . . . Froggy Potty . Has been peed in . : ) 10 euros . Tall paper light . . . really bright unless you only put in one light bulb . : ) 5 euros we have two . It 's not IKEA if that means anything to anyone . Ice Machine . Makes soft , crunchy ice ! 50 euros . Brand NEW ! It 's our second one that we never used because we bought a big freezer . New batch of ice every 12 minutes : ) Toddler bed . Dog and Cat on it . From IKEA 40 euros . Kritter series . It 's a dog and cat on top . . . that you could take out and paint pink if you wanted . : ) Pink potty that sings when pee - pees go into it . . . . but you can turn off the sound . : ) The top flips down and it turns into a stool . WHOO HOO . : ) 10 euros . My Special Bodum Water Heater Upper . : ) It only makes two cups of hot water at a time , but it 's small and cute and the perfect size for me . It 's off white . 25 euros . Fold out desk thing . Curtain section . I have yellow , red , and brown . . . . We have curtain rods , poles and sliders and any attachments you can think of . : )
|
except Bobby , the new girl , who stays behind with rebel - without - a - clue Smitty . Then hours pass . Snow piles up . Sun goes down . Bobby and Smitty start to flirt . Start to stress . Till finally they see the other kids stumbling back . But they 've changed . And not in a good way . Straight up , they 're zombies . So the wheels on the bus better go round and round freakin ' fast , because that 's the only thing keeping Bobby and This is one of the few reviews that I actually changed my rating while writing my review . I thought I liked it more than I did when I finished it , but when I sat down to put my thoughts on paper ( or screen ) I realized all of the things that I didn 't like about it . I still enjoyed the book enough though . I was really excited for this book due to the synopsis . I thought it sounded pretty awesome , except the synopsis is not a great judge of the book . It 's not an exciting all out thrill ride with crazy zombies lurking around every corner like it would suggest . So unless there were some major changes between the ARC and the final copy , I wouldn 't go by that at all . I am a sucker when it comes to zombie books . I also love humor and this sounded like a great combination of the two , but it just didn 't live up to my expectations . I liked Bobby and her snarky , don 't give a crap attitude at first , but it got old quick . She has just moved back to the UK with her mother ( Thanks to her moms work ) and is the new girl who doesn 't fit in . Total cliche , I know . This book is full of the typical cliches , I think it 's supposed to be part of the humor . She stays on the bus to be alone away from all the other kids and gets stuck on there with Smitty , the bad boy and the bus driver . He attitude doesn 't really improve much for most of the book . She tries to put on the tough girl act to prove she 's not a helpless weak girl . She does some selfless things and really does try to do what she can to help their growing group survive , but in general she wasn 't that likable . I just didn 't feel her character . So onto the actual storyline . School trip , zombies , stumbling upon other survivors . . . you get the point . Now these people who are nothing alike have to work together to survive and try not to kill each other . They manage to travel to a gas station , then a parking lot , back to the cafe , so and and so on until they get to a castle . I get that we are trying to be on an adventure here , but it was just sort of okay to me . Th ere were a few funny lines here and there , and some interesting things that happened . And lets not forget the plot twist . . . was that supposed to be surprising ? Are we supposed to feel shock ? I felt like I wanted to be finished with this book already . So maybe I am just getting more picky with my reading , but this just didn 't entertain me as much as I would have liked . I wasn 't expecting a blow me away , awesome book , just fun entertainment . I know this review seems pretty negative , but I did like the book , I just thought that at times it got a bit lame and there was a lot of unnecessary things going on . Maybe if I had been able to connect with the characters , or at least like them I would have liked it more . I just didn 't get that . The characters started to annoy me and the plot was not keeping me engaged . What saved this book for me was the smalPosted by Love ties them together . Death can 't tear them apart . Best . Birthday . Ever . At least , it was supposed to be . With Logan 's band playing a critical gig and Aura 's plans for an intimate after - party , Aura knows it will be the most memorable night of her boyfriend 's life . She never thought it would be his last . Logan 's sudden death leaves Aura devastated . He 's gone . Well , sort of . Like more than to figure out why the Shift happened so she can undo it . But not with Logan 's violet - hued spirit still hanging around . Because dead Logan is almost as real as ever . Almost . It doesn 't help I have been wanting to read this book forever and now I am wondering why I waited so long . This book was so fantastic . I love the paranormal element , the characters , the story , everything ! ! I was instantly hooked ! I couldn 't get enough of Aura 's story . I even enjoyed the love triangle , and I don 't typically like them . If anything they usually make me want to stab my eyes out , but this one works . Aura was born post shift which means she can see ghosts . Everyone born post shift can , while no one pre - shift are able to . She always wishes that she couldn 't see them until her boyfriend Logan dies at his birthday party . Now she is having a hard time letting go . She can see him and talk to him , but knows that he is dead and she can 't actually be with him anymore . To complicate things more , Zach makes her feel all sorts of things too . Aura is a tough chick , but she has a lot of conflicting emotions going on . I really felt for her . She also is trying to uncover secrets from her past . I loved getting to know Aura . She is very easy to relate to and understand . Oh Zachary ! ! * Swoon * Right from the moment we meet him , I think I am in love . He is good looking , charming and has an accent . Does the boy own a kilt too ? ! ! * wink wink * Okay , so besides that , he is really great to Aura even when we find out about some of his little secrets I still couldn 't help but adore him . He is sweet , patient , and understanding . Yup , what every girl dreams of . He was born pre - shift so he can 't see ghosts , but there is a bit more to him . This starts off with a bang . We get introduced to Aura and find out a bit about her ability , then we meet Logan , his siblings , and her BFF and things get interesting after that . I was totally hooked on this book . I was wrapped up in what was happening with Aura and seriously rooting for Zach to win her over ! ! I loved their undeniable chemistry , but I also admired her strength to try and do what she believes is right in her heart . She still loves Logan , and him being around as a ghost doesn 't make it any easier for heAmy On the blog today I am going to feature some of the trailers from photo shoots that Michelle Monique has done . She is a very talented photographer and she has done some really great book covers like Rift by Andrea Cremer , The Mayfair Moon by J . A . Redmerski , and Unleashed by Nacy Holder . This is the trailer for her Rift photo shoot . ( I can 't for the life of me get this one centered ! Ugh ! ) What do you think ? I think she does fabulous work . If you want to check out her photos , or more videos , click on her links below . and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing . A deadly plague ravages the population . From space , a ruthless lunar people watch , waiting to make their move . No one knows that Earth 's fate hinges on one girl . . . . Cinder , a gifted mechanic , is a cyborg . She 's a second - class citizen with a mysterious past , reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister 's illness . But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai 's , she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle , and a forbidden attraction . Caught between duty and freedom , loyalty and betrayal , she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world 's future . My first thought is why did I wait so long to read this ? My second is , I loved it ! ! I am a sucker for fairytale retellings and Cinderella is one of my favorite fairy tales . I knew I had to read this . Marissa Meyer 's creativity is just amazing . I have never read a retelling quite like this . It 's unique and totally addictive . I listened to this on audio and I think that my iPod was glued to me . I didn 't want to stop . The plot , the characters , and the setting were all fantastic ! Let 's talk about Cinder a bit . She is a cyborg . She can feel emotions and she is a real person , not a machine . Yes she has unnatural parts , but she is still very much human . I think she is more human than even most of the " real " humans around her . I felt an instant connection with her . The way her emotions are portrayed , how she treats others , the way she thinks . Through every crazy thing that happens to her , she does well holding it together . If anything every time something goes against her , it makes her stronger . By the end of the book I totally loved her . Prince Kai is another character I adored . He is just so wonderful . Not that he is without flaws , but he really just wants to do what is right . What he thinks he has to to save the people . He also doesn 't abide by what he should do or who he should be seen with and talk to . He is very smitten with Cinder . You go through the book hoping that no matter what he will continue to care about her . Even if he does discover her secrets . Now the secondary characters are pretty amazing too . Whether I loved them or hated them , they are done so well . I absolutely despised Adri . I found myself getting angry and frustrated at times . And Queen Levana , now that is a villain you love to hate . The Dr . is one of my favorite characters and I hope that we get a lot more of him in the next book . As far as the story goes , I can 't say that the revelations really surprised me . I pretty much figured it all out in the beginning , but that didn 't take away from my enjoyment of the book at all . I still loved getting to know the characters and going through everything with Cinder and Prince Kai . I was overflowing with emotions while listening to this book . At times I would get so frustrated that I wanted to shout at Adri or Queen Levana . Call them inappropriate names and maybe throw them down the stairs . I love it when a book can bring that level of emotion out of me . This audiobook was fantastic . I loved the reader . She did the voices well and was able to pull me in . I was able to know whoPosted by The first book for my Waiting on Wednesday is Naturals by Tiffany Truitt . I really enjoyed Chosen Ones and I am really looking forward to where the story goes next . That was quite an ending ! ! with the rebel Isolationists . With James having returned to Templeton , she easily falls back into her friendship with Henry , though her newfound knowledge of Robert 's chosen one status still stings . Even surrounded by people , Tess has never felt more alone . So she 's thrilled when James returns to the settlement , demanding to see Tess - until she finds out that it 's because her sister , Louisa , has been recruited into Tess 's old position at Templeton , and that the dangerously sadistic chosen one George has taken an interest in her . The next book for my Waiting on Wednesday is The Spindlers by Lauren Oliver . I have not read her MG book Liesl and Po , but I have read Deliruim , Pandemonium , and Before I Fall and I love her writing . I think that I will really like this book . rescue Patrick , Liza must go Below , armed with little more than her wits and a broom . There , she uncovers a vast world populated with talking rats , music - loving moles , greedy troglods , and overexcitable nids . . . as well as terrible dangers . But she will face her greatest challenge at the spindlers ' nests , where she encounters the evil queen and must pass a series of deadly tests - or else her soul , too , will remain Below forever . From New York Times best - selling author Lauren Oliver comes a bewitching story about the reaches of loyalty , the meaning of love , and the enduring power of hope . This sounds really great ! It sounds like a great and entertaining book full of adventure . I am definitely looking forward to reading this one ! ! I have another cover reveal for all of you today ! ! This is for Vengeance Bound by Justina Ireland . This cover reveal was organized by AToMR Tours . Book Description Graff is not alone in her head . Bound to a deal of desperation made when she was a child , Cory 's mind houses the Furies - the hawk and the serpent - lingering always , waiting for her to satisfy their bloodlust . After escaping the asylum where she was trapped for years , Cory knows how to keep the Furies quiet . By day , she lives a normal life , but by night , she tracks down targets the Furies send her way . And she brings down Justice upon them . perfected her system of survival , but when she meets a mysterious boy named Niko at her new school , she can 't figure out how she feels about him . For the first time , the Furies are quiet in her head around a guy . But does this mean that Cory 's finally found someone who she can trust , or are there greater factors at work ? As Hello everyone ! ! Today I am spotlighting Their Promise by Brina Courtney ! Yesterday was the official book birthday for it and it sounds fabulous . Besides that Brina is a sweetheart , so I just feel awesome trying to pimp her book . And because Brina is so awesome , she is also doing a tour wide giveaway for an I LOVE TO READ bracelet , Bookmarks , and Sticker . Please follow the terms and conditions listed on the rafflecopter form . a Rafflecopter giveaway Paranormal romance fans who are looking to up the ante will be drawn to this tale of horror , fantasy , and romance . For Mab Prowd , the practice of blood magic is as natural as breathing . It 's all she 's ever known . Growing up on an isolated farm in Kansas with other practitioners may have kept her from making friends her own age , but it has also given her a sense of purpose - she 's connected to the land and protective of the magic . And she is able to practice it proudly and happily out in the open with only the crows as her companions . Mab will do anything to keep the ancient practice alive and guard its secrets . But one morning while she is working out a particularly tricky spell she encounters Will , a local boy who is trying to exorcise some mundane personal demons . He experiences Mab 's magic in a way his mind cannot comprehend and is all too happy to end their chance meeting . But secrets that were kept from Mab by the earlier generations of blood magicians have come home to roost . And she and Will are drawn back together , time again by this dangerous force looking to break free from the earth and reclaim its own dark power . After reading Blood Magic last year I was super excited about reading The Blood Keeper . This is a companion novel , not a sequel . I was hoping to love this as much as I loved The Blood Keeper , but unfortunately I didn 't . I did still like this , but I didn 't really feel the characters and it took a long time to get into . I liked the creepiness and the magical aspect of it , but I felt really distracted by a lot of the other things going on in the book . This book goes from present day in Mab and Will to a letter that Evelyn had written to Arthur . It was pretty disorienting at first . I did eventually get used to it , and the story picked up , but honestly it was about 200 pages into the book before I really started to get into the story . We get to know Mab a little bit first . The book starts with her bringing a doll made out of the earth in the rose garden to life with her blood and a crows sacrifice . Awesome way to start out the book . She is the Deacon since Arthur is gone . She is very talented with her blood magic , but still young . As the story progresses we learn a bit more about her and her background . I did like Mab , but I never connected with her . She is smart , brave , and wise beyond her years , but she still does have some typical teenager traits . I liked her interactions with Will , but they weren 't convincing to me . Will was interesting , but kind of boring . His family is a military family . His father , and both of his brothers . That is not the path he wants to choose though . Losing his brother Adam really made him realize that he wants to make his own choices and do what he wants . He doesn 't want to join the Marines or the Navy or whatever just because he 's expected to . He ends up getting linked to Mab in a crazy sort of way and they actually help each other besides the whole magic thing . I never felt like we got to know Will though . He was there , and we knew what he was going through , but I never felt like we got to know the real him . So don 't get me wrong , the writing is good and there is all sorts of stuff goingAmy just a tiny bit psychotic , you should never actually believe him when he says , " Trust me . This is gonna be awesome . " Of course , you probably wouldn 't believe a voodoo doll could work either . Or that it could cause someone 's leg to blow clean off with one quick prick . But I 've seen it . It can happen . And when there 's suddenly a doll of YOU floating around out there - a doll that could be snatched by a Rottweiler and torn to shreds , or a gang of thugs ready to torch it , or any random family of cannibals ( really , do you need the danger here spelled out for you ? ) - well , you know that 's just gonna be a really bad day . . . OMG this book was hilarious ! ! First off , the FAQ that is in the beginning of the book was really funny so I was instantly excited to dive in . That is just the tip of the entertainment this book contains . I was literally laughing out loud at some points thinking to myself that Jeff Strand is awesome ! ! The whole book is one heck of a crazy ride . It 's hilariously awesome from the first pages all the way through to the last . Tyler is just a normal kid who goes to school , has a pretty and smart girlfriend , dislikes his teachers , and has a psycho friend . Like really loopy , crazy friend . He goes along with Adams voodoo doll thing just to make him happy since apparently Adam went through a lot to get the voodoo doll of his teacher Mr . Click . ( To get revenge for a bad grade which wasn 't even Tyler 's fault ) Adam does not believe it will work , but when he pokes the doll with a pin and Mr . Click 's leg explodes off of his body , that it just the start of a super , horrible , bad day for voodoo . As if things can 't get any worse than blowing off his teachers leg and then accidentally snapping his neck , his psycho best friend freaks out and takes off instead of helping with the situation . When they finally meet back up Adam has a voodoo doll of Tyler to use as leverage against him so Tyler won 't go to the cops . ( like he would have anyways ) Anything and everything that can go wrong pretty much does . They know they need to return to the woman who made the doll to fix this somehow . On the way they get their car stolen with the doll in it and then the true hilarious adventure starts . They get attacked by numerous people in different situations and have to go through tons of stuff to try to get the Tyler voodoo doll back before someone kills him with it . Okay I will not really go into the book because a lot of what they go through is right in the synopsis . Just trust me when I say that this book will have you laughing out loud . It is a quick and super entertaining read . I couldn 't put it down . I had to know what in the world could possiHow To Read A Bad Day For Voodoo While Doing A Hostage Negotiation It 's going to happen to a bunch of you . You 'll be sitting on the couch with your brand new copy of A Bad Day For Voodoo . You 've got a glass of cold milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies that you 've baked just for this special occasion . You open the book , giggle with anticipation , and prepare yourself to enjoy the very first word on the very first page . . . and then you get called in to negotiation a hostage situation . Aw , bummer ! your afternoon won 't be a total waste , because if you follow the below pieces of advice , you can do both ! That 's right , you can read the book and save innocent lives ! 1 . Purchase a customized bulletproof book sleeve . If to be tense . But nothing diffuses tension like a good laugh . Pick up that megaphone , read a paragraph or two , and watch those murderous frowns turn into smiles ! 4 . Remember that , in the long run , human lives are more important than A Bad Day For Voodoo . In a worst - case scenario , you may actually have to put the book down and actively try to talk the villains out of killing people . In that happens , just take a deep breath , wipe away a tear , and remember that you can still read the book when you get home . It 's a pretty good book , but let 's not get carried away . Okay , so Jeff Strand is absolutely hilarious and I recommend this book to anyone wanting and entertaining read . I want to thank Sourcebooks for letting me participate in this tour ! Posted by Hello ! ! Happy Monday ! ! Guess what I have for you today ? A super fabulous cover reveal and let me tell you , it 's gorgeous ! ! Book # 2 in The Lost Souls trilogy , Naturals by Tiffany Truitt . It 's so , so pretty ! ! ! Book Description stings . Even surrounded by people , Tess has never felt more alone . So she 's thrilled when James returns to the settlement , demanding to see Tess - until she finds out that it 's because her sister , Louisa , has been recruited into Tess 's old position at Templeton , and that the dangerously sadistic chosen one George has taken an interest in her . How fabulous is this cover ? I love it . I am super excited about this book too . Chosen Ones was really great and I am looking forward to where the story will go . About the author : Truitt was born in Peoria , Illinois . A self - proclaimed Navy brat , Tiffany spent most of her childhood living in Virginia , but don 't call her a Southerner . She also spent a few years living in Cuba . Since her time on the island of one McDonald 's and Banana Rats ( don 't ask ) she has been obsessed with traveling . Tiffany recently added China to her list of travels ( hello inspiration for a new book ) . Besides traveling , Tiffany has always been an avid reader . The earliest books she remembers reading belong to The Little House on the Prairie Series . First book she read in one day ? Little Woman ( 5th grade ) . First author she fell in love with ? Jane Austen in middle school . Tiffany spent most of her high school and college career as a literary snob . She refused to read anything considered " low brow " or outside the " classics . " began teaching middle school in 2006 . Her students introduced her to the wide , wonderful world of Young Adult literature . Today , Tiffany embraces popular Young Adult literature and uses it in her classroom . She currently teaches the following novels : The Outsiders , Speak , Night , Dystopian Literature Circles : The Hunger Games , The Giver , The Uglies , and Matched . It 's that time of week again ! Another Weekly Recap and Stacking the Shelves . I got a lot of awesome stuff this week ! ! It 's also my hubs Birthday today , so I won 't be around , but promise I will comment back tomorrow . : ) Ugh ! ! Awesome freeze frame . Lol ! Blog Tours : Excerpt and Review from Inbetween by Tara Fuller ( See link above , there 's a giveaway too ) Review and Guest post for Hollowed by Kelley York . ( See link above . There is a giveaway with that tour too ) Twelve Months by Steven Manchester - Got a few of these . I had an excerpt of his book posted . On the Island book excerpt - Love this book and yes , you can find two different excerpts on my blog for this book . 15 / 736 new yorker dress - I have no clue what this is ? ? ? ? ? Hope you found what you were looking for . : ) Carrie Jones Endure spoilers - You won 't find any spoilers here peeps ! ! I try to keep everything spoiler free around here . You may find a tease , but no spoilers . Sorry ! A bunch looking for Book Loving Mom - Yup ! that 's me . Welcome to my blog ! ! This is the first week in forever there wasn 't a single search for anything Jennifer L . Armentrout . I was kind of sad . I like when her searches come up . : ) I hope you all had a great week and I will comment back tomorrow . I will probably not be on at all today since it 's the hubs Birthday . Love you all ! ! Leave me a link . ; ) Posted by All 18 - year - old Briar Greyson wanted was to figure out this whole living - away - from - your - parents thing . Apartment , steady job , cool roommate ? Check . Noah , her adorable ( albeit elusive ) boyfriend ? Check . Everything in the life of Briar was pretty good . Then she and her roommate are attacked on their way home one night . Briar wasn 't supposed to survive . Instead , according to the two guys who saved her , she 's turning into the things that attacked her : a vampire . Totally crazy and Not Okay . Now Noah 's secrets are coming to light , and he wants Briar dead . Then there are the When I heard that Kelley York had another book coming out I was so excited for it . I took part in the cover reveal for this and knew I had to be part of the blog tour . I loved her book Hushed and was eager to read more of her books ! ! This book was great . The characters really pull you in , the story keeps you interested , and the mystery of it was fun to try to figure out . I sometimes wish that I wasn 't so good at solving mysteries , but that didn 't take away from my enjoyment of the story at all . I was so interested in how everything was going to pan out . I also really loved the pacing of the book . It had action , but not constant . You were able to take a breather and try to piece things together . Briar is a wonderful character . She is funny and sarcastic . She may not make the smartest choices all the time , but it makes her more likable . She knows that she messes up sometimes . She takes things pretty well I think . At first she totally doesn 't believe she is a vampire , but eventually she realizes that Cole and Oliver aren 't lying to her and she needs their help . She still doesn 't really trust them , but I like that she slowly gets to know then and let them in . She is also hurting that her boyfriend Noah now hates her because of what she is . She needs to try to get him to see that she isn 't really a monster , and find out why he seems to know exactly what she is before she actually tells him . I felt my heart breaking a little over the whole situation with Noah and with the mystery about her sister . I really started to connect with Briar and loved her character . The secondary characters are really great too . Oliver took a little while to grow on me , but once I got to know him I understood him better and really liked him . His interactions with Briar were pretty awesome at times . Daniel is another character I totally loved . I wanted to get to know him more . He is very interesting . there has got to be a whole lot more to him . Then of course Noah , I went back and forth with him . I wasn 't sure whether to trust him . At times IGuest Post making the decision to self - pub I ran in circles for a while , unsure where to start . I had friends who had gone the SP route , so I was clumsily trying to follow their example . I had a vague idea of all the things I needed , and it all seemed really daunting and scary . My steps went something like this : when doing this myself , I still had to pay for the image I used , so it wasn 't free . ( Thankfully , much cheaper than paying someone else to do it . ) I also arranged a cover and blurb reveal . times already , but I hadn 't touched it in nearly six months , so I was able to go in one last time and see things with fresh eyes . 3 . Formatting . far , the most time consuming part of my process . I followed the Smashwords formatting guide to a T . Let me tell you , even if you aren 't pubbing through Smashwords , that style guide is invaluable . It was a lot time consuming , but totally worth it . I sent out e - ARCs ( which I made myself using Sigil and Calibre ) to anyone who helped with the cover reveal , and those who were participating in the blog tour . For the tour , I kept a spreadsheet with every stop , their website , date , and what kind of post they were doing ( so that I knew if I had a guest post to write for them , or interview questions to answer ) . 5 . Release date and pricing . a while , and researched what the " sweet spot " was for self - published books . Because SW , B & N , and Amazon don 't let you schedule a release date , I uploaded everything two days ahead of time , just in case I encountered some kind of error . Thankfully , all that prep - work ahead of time made the entire process run smoothly . SW went live immediately , and of that exhaustion came from learning . I bugged Nyrae Dawn and Jolene Perry several times for advice , and fumbled my way through the rest . Google was my best friend . I think my biggest piece of advice for anyone considering self - publishing : do your research . Know what you 're getting into . Self - publishing is a lot of learning , a lot of patience , and a lot of work . Nothing about this process is easy . However , it has the potential to be extremely fun and rewarding . Kelley was born and raised in central California , where she still resides with her lovely wife , daughter , and an abundance of pets . ( Although she does fantasize about moving across the globe to Ireland . ) She has a fascination with bells , adores all things furry - be them squeaky , barky , or meow - y - is a lover of video games , manga and anime , and likes to pretend she 's a decent photographer . Her life goal is to find a real unicorn . Or maybe a mermaid . As of January 2011 , Kelley is a proud member of the Young Adult writers group blog , YAtopia , as well as For the Love of Contemporary . She is currently unagented . Her YA thriller , HUSHED , is now available via Entangled Publishing . She has two upcoming novels : HOLLOWED ( August , 2012 ) and MADE OF STARS ( Fall 2013 ) . Hello ! ! Another day , another cover hehe ! I love cover reveals . I mean , aren 't we all a little cover obsessed . The cover I have for you today is for Blood Doll by Georgia Cates and it 's fantastic ! ! Isn 't that really pretty . I kind of love the dress too . I want it ! ! I haven 't read the first two books in the series , but it sounds really good . I think I should read them before this one comes out in January . About the author : My name is Amy . I am addicted to reading , coffee , and tea . I love gummy bears and twizzlers . My favorite colors are pink and purple . If you would like to contact me email me at booklovingme @ gmail . comIf you want to send a review request , please read my review policy page first . Thank you . * I am only excepting limited review requests at the moment . Priority will go to publishers or authors I have worked with in the past . * * note : I do not get any compensation for the reviews that I write . They are my honest opinions , and unless stated otherwise , any books I review are purchased by me . Any of my thoughts on reviews , or any other posts are my own . I cannot be held responsible for thoughts or comments from others on my posts . If any comments are offensive in any way I have the right to remove them . I do not accept compensation for any of the posts on this blog . Every post is entirely my own thoughts unless otherwise stated , such as guest posts or interviews with other individuals .
|
except Bobby , the new girl , who stays behind with rebel - without - a - clue Smitty . Then hours pass . Snow piles up . Sun goes down . Bobby and Smitty start to flirt . Start to stress . Till finally they see the other kids stumbling back . But they 've changed . And not in a good way . Straight up , they 're zombies . So the wheels on the bus better go round and round freakin ' fast , because that 's the only thing keeping Bobby and This is one of the few reviews that I actually changed my rating while writing my review . I thought I liked it more than I did when I finished it , but when I sat down to put my thoughts on paper ( or screen ) I realized all of the things that I didn 't like about it . I still enjoyed the book enough though . I was really excited for this book due to the synopsis . I thought it sounded pretty awesome , except the synopsis is not a great judge of the book . It 's not an exciting all out thrill ride with crazy zombies lurking around every corner like it would suggest . So unless there were some major changes between the ARC and the final copy , I wouldn 't go by that at all . I am a sucker when it comes to zombie books . I also love humor and this sounded like a great combination of the two , but it just didn 't live up to my expectations . I liked Bobby and her snarky , don 't give a crap attitude at first , but it got old quick . She has just moved back to the UK with her mother ( Thanks to her moms work ) and is the new girl who doesn 't fit in . Total cliche , I know . This book is full of the typical cliches , I think it 's supposed to be part of the humor . She stays on the bus to be alone away from all the other kids and gets stuck on there with Smitty , the bad boy and the bus driver . He attitude doesn 't really improve much for most of the book . She tries to put on the tough girl act to prove she 's not a helpless weak girl . She does some selfless things and really does try to do what she can to help their growing group survive , but in general she wasn 't that likable . I just didn 't feel her character . So onto the actual storyline . School trip , zombies , stumbling upon other survivors . . . you get the point . Now these people who are nothing alike have to work together to survive and try not to kill each other . They manage to travel to a gas station , then a parking lot , back to the cafe , so and and so on until they get to a castle . I get that we are trying to be on an adventure here , but it was just sort of okay to me . Th ere were a few funny lines here and there , and some interesting things that happened . And lets not forget the plot twist . . . was that supposed to be surprising ? Are we supposed to feel shock ? I felt like I wanted to be finished with this book already . So maybe I am just getting more picky with my reading , but this just didn 't entertain me as much as I would have liked . I wasn 't expecting a blow me away , awesome book , just fun entertainment . I know this review seems pretty negative , but I did like the book , I just thought that at times it got a bit lame and there was a lot of unnecessary things going on . Maybe if I had been able to connect with the characters , or at least like them I would have liked it more . I just didn 't get that . The characters started to annoy me and the plot was not keeping me engaged . What saved this book for me was the smalPosted by Love ties them together . Death can 't tear them apart . Best . Birthday . Ever . At least , it was supposed to be . With Logan 's band playing a critical gig and Aura 's plans for an intimate after - party , Aura knows it will be the most memorable night of her boyfriend 's life . She never thought it would be his last . Logan 's sudden death leaves Aura devastated . He 's gone . Well , sort of . Like more than to figure out why the Shift happened so she can undo it . But not with Logan 's violet - hued spirit still hanging around . Because dead Logan is almost as real as ever . Almost . It doesn 't help I have been wanting to read this book forever and now I am wondering why I waited so long . This book was so fantastic . I love the paranormal element , the characters , the story , everything ! ! I was instantly hooked ! I couldn 't get enough of Aura 's story . I even enjoyed the love triangle , and I don 't typically like them . If anything they usually make me want to stab my eyes out , but this one works . Aura was born post shift which means she can see ghosts . Everyone born post shift can , while no one pre - shift are able to . She always wishes that she couldn 't see them until her boyfriend Logan dies at his birthday party . Now she is having a hard time letting go . She can see him and talk to him , but knows that he is dead and she can 't actually be with him anymore . To complicate things more , Zach makes her feel all sorts of things too . Aura is a tough chick , but she has a lot of conflicting emotions going on . I really felt for her . She also is trying to uncover secrets from her past . I loved getting to know Aura . She is very easy to relate to and understand . Oh Zachary ! ! * Swoon * Right from the moment we meet him , I think I am in love . He is good looking , charming and has an accent . Does the boy own a kilt too ? ! ! * wink wink * Okay , so besides that , he is really great to Aura even when we find out about some of his little secrets I still couldn 't help but adore him . He is sweet , patient , and understanding . Yup , what every girl dreams of . He was born pre - shift so he can 't see ghosts , but there is a bit more to him . This starts off with a bang . We get introduced to Aura and find out a bit about her ability , then we meet Logan , his siblings , and her BFF and things get interesting after that . I was totally hooked on this book . I was wrapped up in what was happening with Aura and seriously rooting for Zach to win her over ! ! I loved their undeniable chemistry , but I also admired her strength to try and do what she believes is right in her heart . She still loves Logan , and him being around as a ghost doesn 't make it any easier for heAmy On the blog today I am going to feature some of the trailers from photo shoots that Michelle Monique has done . She is a very talented photographer and she has done some really great book covers like Rift by Andrea Cremer , The Mayfair Moon by J . A . Redmerski , and Unleashed by Nacy Holder . This is the trailer for her Rift photo shoot . ( I can 't for the life of me get this one centered ! Ugh ! ) What do you think ? I think she does fabulous work . If you want to check out her photos , or more videos , click on her links below . and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing . A deadly plague ravages the population . From space , a ruthless lunar people watch , waiting to make their move . No one knows that Earth 's fate hinges on one girl . . . . Cinder , a gifted mechanic , is a cyborg . She 's a second - class citizen with a mysterious past , reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister 's illness . But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai 's , she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle , and a forbidden attraction . Caught between duty and freedom , loyalty and betrayal , she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world 's future . My first thought is why did I wait so long to read this ? My second is , I loved it ! ! I am a sucker for fairytale retellings and Cinderella is one of my favorite fairy tales . I knew I had to read this . Marissa Meyer 's creativity is just amazing . I have never read a retelling quite like this . It 's unique and totally addictive . I listened to this on audio and I think that my iPod was glued to me . I didn 't want to stop . The plot , the characters , and the setting were all fantastic ! Let 's talk about Cinder a bit . She is a cyborg . She can feel emotions and she is a real person , not a machine . Yes she has unnatural parts , but she is still very much human . I think she is more human than even most of the " real " humans around her . I felt an instant connection with her . The way her emotions are portrayed , how she treats others , the way she thinks . Through every crazy thing that happens to her , she does well holding it together . If anything every time something goes against her , it makes her stronger . By the end of the book I totally loved her . Prince Kai is another character I adored . He is just so wonderful . Not that he is without flaws , but he really just wants to do what is right . What he thinks he has to to save the people . He also doesn 't abide by what he should do or who he should be seen with and talk to . He is very smitten with Cinder . You go through the book hoping that no matter what he will continue to care about her . Even if he does discover her secrets . Now the secondary characters are pretty amazing too . Whether I loved them or hated them , they are done so well . I absolutely despised Adri . I found myself getting angry and frustrated at times . And Queen Levana , now that is a villain you love to hate . The Dr . is one of my favorite characters and I hope that we get a lot more of him in the next book . As far as the story goes , I can 't say that the revelations really surprised me . I pretty much figured it all out in the beginning , but that didn 't take away from my enjoyment of the book at all . I still loved getting to know the characters and going through everything with Cinder and Prince Kai . I was overflowing with emotions while listening to this book . At times I would get so frustrated that I wanted to shout at Adri or Queen Levana . Call them inappropriate names and maybe throw them down the stairs . I love it when a book can bring that level of emotion out of me . This audiobook was fantastic . I loved the reader . She did the voices well and was able to pull me in . I was able to know whoPosted by The first book for my Waiting on Wednesday is Naturals by Tiffany Truitt . I really enjoyed Chosen Ones and I am really looking forward to where the story goes next . That was quite an ending ! ! with the rebel Isolationists . With James having returned to Templeton , she easily falls back into her friendship with Henry , though her newfound knowledge of Robert 's chosen one status still stings . Even surrounded by people , Tess has never felt more alone . So she 's thrilled when James returns to the settlement , demanding to see Tess - until she finds out that it 's because her sister , Louisa , has been recruited into Tess 's old position at Templeton , and that the dangerously sadistic chosen one George has taken an interest in her . The next book for my Waiting on Wednesday is The Spindlers by Lauren Oliver . I have not read her MG book Liesl and Po , but I have read Deliruim , Pandemonium , and Before I Fall and I love her writing . I think that I will really like this book . rescue Patrick , Liza must go Below , armed with little more than her wits and a broom . There , she uncovers a vast world populated with talking rats , music - loving moles , greedy troglods , and overexcitable nids . . . as well as terrible dangers . But she will face her greatest challenge at the spindlers ' nests , where she encounters the evil queen and must pass a series of deadly tests - or else her soul , too , will remain Below forever . From New York Times best - selling author Lauren Oliver comes a bewitching story about the reaches of loyalty , the meaning of love , and the enduring power of hope . This sounds really great ! It sounds like a great and entertaining book full of adventure . I am definitely looking forward to reading this one ! ! I have another cover reveal for all of you today ! ! This is for Vengeance Bound by Justina Ireland . This cover reveal was organized by AToMR Tours . Book Description Graff is not alone in her head . Bound to a deal of desperation made when she was a child , Cory 's mind houses the Furies - the hawk and the serpent - lingering always , waiting for her to satisfy their bloodlust . After escaping the asylum where she was trapped for years , Cory knows how to keep the Furies quiet . By day , she lives a normal life , but by night , she tracks down targets the Furies send her way . And she brings down Justice upon them . perfected her system of survival , but when she meets a mysterious boy named Niko at her new school , she can 't figure out how she feels about him . For the first time , the Furies are quiet in her head around a guy . But does this mean that Cory 's finally found someone who she can trust , or are there greater factors at work ? As Hello everyone ! ! Today I am spotlighting Their Promise by Brina Courtney ! Yesterday was the official book birthday for it and it sounds fabulous . Besides that Brina is a sweetheart , so I just feel awesome trying to pimp her book . And because Brina is so awesome , she is also doing a tour wide giveaway for an I LOVE TO READ bracelet , Bookmarks , and Sticker . Please follow the terms and conditions listed on the rafflecopter form . a Rafflecopter giveaway Paranormal romance fans who are looking to up the ante will be drawn to this tale of horror , fantasy , and romance . For Mab Prowd , the practice of blood magic is as natural as breathing . It 's all she 's ever known . Growing up on an isolated farm in Kansas with other practitioners may have kept her from making friends her own age , but it has also given her a sense of purpose - she 's connected to the land and protective of the magic . And she is able to practice it proudly and happily out in the open with only the crows as her companions . Mab will do anything to keep the ancient practice alive and guard its secrets . But one morning while she is working out a particularly tricky spell she encounters Will , a local boy who is trying to exorcise some mundane personal demons . He experiences Mab 's magic in a way his mind cannot comprehend and is all too happy to end their chance meeting . But secrets that were kept from Mab by the earlier generations of blood magicians have come home to roost . And she and Will are drawn back together , time again by this dangerous force looking to break free from the earth and reclaim its own dark power . After reading Blood Magic last year I was super excited about reading The Blood Keeper . This is a companion novel , not a sequel . I was hoping to love this as much as I loved The Blood Keeper , but unfortunately I didn 't . I did still like this , but I didn 't really feel the characters and it took a long time to get into . I liked the creepiness and the magical aspect of it , but I felt really distracted by a lot of the other things going on in the book . This book goes from present day in Mab and Will to a letter that Evelyn had written to Arthur . It was pretty disorienting at first . I did eventually get used to it , and the story picked up , but honestly it was about 200 pages into the book before I really started to get into the story . We get to know Mab a little bit first . The book starts with her bringing a doll made out of the earth in the rose garden to life with her blood and a crows sacrifice . Awesome way to start out the book . She is the Deacon since Arthur is gone . She is very talented with her blood magic , but still young . As the story progresses we learn a bit more about her and her background . I did like Mab , but I never connected with her . She is smart , brave , and wise beyond her years , but she still does have some typical teenager traits . I liked her interactions with Will , but they weren 't convincing to me . Will was interesting , but kind of boring . His family is a military family . His father , and both of his brothers . That is not the path he wants to choose though . Losing his brother Adam really made him realize that he wants to make his own choices and do what he wants . He doesn 't want to join the Marines or the Navy or whatever just because he 's expected to . He ends up getting linked to Mab in a crazy sort of way and they actually help each other besides the whole magic thing . I never felt like we got to know Will though . He was there , and we knew what he was going through , but I never felt like we got to know the real him . So don 't get me wrong , the writing is good and there is all sorts of stuff goingAmy just a tiny bit psychotic , you should never actually believe him when he says , " Trust me . This is gonna be awesome . " Of course , you probably wouldn 't believe a voodoo doll could work either . Or that it could cause someone 's leg to blow clean off with one quick prick . But I 've seen it . It can happen . And when there 's suddenly a doll of YOU floating around out there - a doll that could be snatched by a Rottweiler and torn to shreds , or a gang of thugs ready to torch it , or any random family of cannibals ( really , do you need the danger here spelled out for you ? ) - well , you know that 's just gonna be a really bad day . . . OMG this book was hilarious ! ! First off , the FAQ that is in the beginning of the book was really funny so I was instantly excited to dive in . That is just the tip of the entertainment this book contains . I was literally laughing out loud at some points thinking to myself that Jeff Strand is awesome ! ! The whole book is one heck of a crazy ride . It 's hilariously awesome from the first pages all the way through to the last . Tyler is just a normal kid who goes to school , has a pretty and smart girlfriend , dislikes his teachers , and has a psycho friend . Like really loopy , crazy friend . He goes along with Adams voodoo doll thing just to make him happy since apparently Adam went through a lot to get the voodoo doll of his teacher Mr . Click . ( To get revenge for a bad grade which wasn 't even Tyler 's fault ) Adam does not believe it will work , but when he pokes the doll with a pin and Mr . Click 's leg explodes off of his body , that it just the start of a super , horrible , bad day for voodoo . As if things can 't get any worse than blowing off his teachers leg and then accidentally snapping his neck , his psycho best friend freaks out and takes off instead of helping with the situation . When they finally meet back up Adam has a voodoo doll of Tyler to use as leverage against him so Tyler won 't go to the cops . ( like he would have anyways ) Anything and everything that can go wrong pretty much does . They know they need to return to the woman who made the doll to fix this somehow . On the way they get their car stolen with the doll in it and then the true hilarious adventure starts . They get attacked by numerous people in different situations and have to go through tons of stuff to try to get the Tyler voodoo doll back before someone kills him with it . Okay I will not really go into the book because a lot of what they go through is right in the synopsis . Just trust me when I say that this book will have you laughing out loud . It is a quick and super entertaining read . I couldn 't put it down . I had to know what in the world could possiHow To Read A Bad Day For Voodoo While Doing A Hostage Negotiation It 's going to happen to a bunch of you . You 'll be sitting on the couch with your brand new copy of A Bad Day For Voodoo . You 've got a glass of cold milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies that you 've baked just for this special occasion . You open the book , giggle with anticipation , and prepare yourself to enjoy the very first word on the very first page . . . and then you get called in to negotiation a hostage situation . Aw , bummer ! your afternoon won 't be a total waste , because if you follow the below pieces of advice , you can do both ! That 's right , you can read the book and save innocent lives ! 1 . Purchase a customized bulletproof book sleeve . If to be tense . But nothing diffuses tension like a good laugh . Pick up that megaphone , read a paragraph or two , and watch those murderous frowns turn into smiles ! 4 . Remember that , in the long run , human lives are more important than A Bad Day For Voodoo . In a worst - case scenario , you may actually have to put the book down and actively try to talk the villains out of killing people . In that happens , just take a deep breath , wipe away a tear , and remember that you can still read the book when you get home . It 's a pretty good book , but let 's not get carried away . Okay , so Jeff Strand is absolutely hilarious and I recommend this book to anyone wanting and entertaining read . I want to thank Sourcebooks for letting me participate in this tour ! Posted by Hello ! ! Happy Monday ! ! Guess what I have for you today ? A super fabulous cover reveal and let me tell you , it 's gorgeous ! ! Book # 2 in The Lost Souls trilogy , Naturals by Tiffany Truitt . It 's so , so pretty ! ! ! Book Description stings . Even surrounded by people , Tess has never felt more alone . So she 's thrilled when James returns to the settlement , demanding to see Tess - until she finds out that it 's because her sister , Louisa , has been recruited into Tess 's old position at Templeton , and that the dangerously sadistic chosen one George has taken an interest in her . How fabulous is this cover ? I love it . I am super excited about this book too . Chosen Ones was really great and I am looking forward to where the story will go . About the author : Truitt was born in Peoria , Illinois . A self - proclaimed Navy brat , Tiffany spent most of her childhood living in Virginia , but don 't call her a Southerner . She also spent a few years living in Cuba . Since her time on the island of one McDonald 's and Banana Rats ( don 't ask ) she has been obsessed with traveling . Tiffany recently added China to her list of travels ( hello inspiration for a new book ) . Besides traveling , Tiffany has always been an avid reader . The earliest books she remembers reading belong to The Little House on the Prairie Series . First book she read in one day ? Little Woman ( 5th grade ) . First author she fell in love with ? Jane Austen in middle school . Tiffany spent most of her high school and college career as a literary snob . She refused to read anything considered " low brow " or outside the " classics . " began teaching middle school in 2006 . Her students introduced her to the wide , wonderful world of Young Adult literature . Today , Tiffany embraces popular Young Adult literature and uses it in her classroom . She currently teaches the following novels : The Outsiders , Speak , Night , Dystopian Literature Circles : The Hunger Games , The Giver , The Uglies , and Matched . It 's that time of week again ! Another Weekly Recap and Stacking the Shelves . I got a lot of awesome stuff this week ! ! It 's also my hubs Birthday today , so I won 't be around , but promise I will comment back tomorrow . : ) Ugh ! ! Awesome freeze frame . Lol ! Blog Tours : Excerpt and Review from Inbetween by Tara Fuller ( See link above , there 's a giveaway too ) Review and Guest post for Hollowed by Kelley York . ( See link above . There is a giveaway with that tour too ) Twelve Months by Steven Manchester - Got a few of these . I had an excerpt of his book posted . On the Island book excerpt - Love this book and yes , you can find two different excerpts on my blog for this book . 15 / 736 new yorker dress - I have no clue what this is ? ? ? ? ? Hope you found what you were looking for . : ) Carrie Jones Endure spoilers - You won 't find any spoilers here peeps ! ! I try to keep everything spoiler free around here . You may find a tease , but no spoilers . Sorry ! A bunch looking for Book Loving Mom - Yup ! that 's me . Welcome to my blog ! ! This is the first week in forever there wasn 't a single search for anything Jennifer L . Armentrout . I was kind of sad . I like when her searches come up . : ) I hope you all had a great week and I will comment back tomorrow . I will probably not be on at all today since it 's the hubs Birthday . Love you all ! ! Leave me a link . ; ) Posted by All 18 - year - old Briar Greyson wanted was to figure out this whole living - away - from - your - parents thing . Apartment , steady job , cool roommate ? Check . Noah , her adorable ( albeit elusive ) boyfriend ? Check . Everything in the life of Briar was pretty good . Then she and her roommate are attacked on their way home one night . Briar wasn 't supposed to survive . Instead , according to the two guys who saved her , she 's turning into the things that attacked her : a vampire . Totally crazy and Not Okay . Now Noah 's secrets are coming to light , and he wants Briar dead . Then there are the When I heard that Kelley York had another book coming out I was so excited for it . I took part in the cover reveal for this and knew I had to be part of the blog tour . I loved her book Hushed and was eager to read more of her books ! ! This book was great . The characters really pull you in , the story keeps you interested , and the mystery of it was fun to try to figure out . I sometimes wish that I wasn 't so good at solving mysteries , but that didn 't take away from my enjoyment of the story at all . I was so interested in how everything was going to pan out . I also really loved the pacing of the book . It had action , but not constant . You were able to take a breather and try to piece things together . Briar is a wonderful character . She is funny and sarcastic . She may not make the smartest choices all the time , but it makes her more likable . She knows that she messes up sometimes . She takes things pretty well I think . At first she totally doesn 't believe she is a vampire , but eventually she realizes that Cole and Oliver aren 't lying to her and she needs their help . She still doesn 't really trust them , but I like that she slowly gets to know then and let them in . She is also hurting that her boyfriend Noah now hates her because of what she is . She needs to try to get him to see that she isn 't really a monster , and find out why he seems to know exactly what she is before she actually tells him . I felt my heart breaking a little over the whole situation with Noah and with the mystery about her sister . I really started to connect with Briar and loved her character . The secondary characters are really great too . Oliver took a little while to grow on me , but once I got to know him I understood him better and really liked him . His interactions with Briar were pretty awesome at times . Daniel is another character I totally loved . I wanted to get to know him more . He is very interesting . there has got to be a whole lot more to him . Then of course Noah , I went back and forth with him . I wasn 't sure whether to trust him . At times IGuest Post making the decision to self - pub I ran in circles for a while , unsure where to start . I had friends who had gone the SP route , so I was clumsily trying to follow their example . I had a vague idea of all the things I needed , and it all seemed really daunting and scary . My steps went something like this : when doing this myself , I still had to pay for the image I used , so it wasn 't free . ( Thankfully , much cheaper than paying someone else to do it . ) I also arranged a cover and blurb reveal . times already , but I hadn 't touched it in nearly six months , so I was able to go in one last time and see things with fresh eyes . 3 . Formatting . far , the most time consuming part of my process . I followed the Smashwords formatting guide to a T . Let me tell you , even if you aren 't pubbing through Smashwords , that style guide is invaluable . It was a lot time consuming , but totally worth it . I sent out e - ARCs ( which I made myself using Sigil and Calibre ) to anyone who helped with the cover reveal , and those who were participating in the blog tour . For the tour , I kept a spreadsheet with every stop , their website , date , and what kind of post they were doing ( so that I knew if I had a guest post to write for them , or interview questions to answer ) . 5 . Release date and pricing . a while , and researched what the " sweet spot " was for self - published books . Because SW , B & N , and Amazon don 't let you schedule a release date , I uploaded everything two days ahead of time , just in case I encountered some kind of error . Thankfully , all that prep - work ahead of time made the entire process run smoothly . SW went live immediately , and of that exhaustion came from learning . I bugged Nyrae Dawn and Jolene Perry several times for advice , and fumbled my way through the rest . Google was my best friend . I think my biggest piece of advice for anyone considering self - publishing : do your research . Know what you 're getting into . Self - publishing is a lot of learning , a lot of patience , and a lot of work . Nothing about this process is easy . However , it has the potential to be extremely fun and rewarding . Kelley was born and raised in central California , where she still resides with her lovely wife , daughter , and an abundance of pets . ( Although she does fantasize about moving across the globe to Ireland . ) She has a fascination with bells , adores all things furry - be them squeaky , barky , or meow - y - is a lover of video games , manga and anime , and likes to pretend she 's a decent photographer . Her life goal is to find a real unicorn . Or maybe a mermaid . As of January 2011 , Kelley is a proud member of the Young Adult writers group blog , YAtopia , as well as For the Love of Contemporary . She is currently unagented . Her YA thriller , HUSHED , is now available via Entangled Publishing . She has two upcoming novels : HOLLOWED ( August , 2012 ) and MADE OF STARS ( Fall 2013 ) . Hello ! ! Another day , another cover hehe ! I love cover reveals . I mean , aren 't we all a little cover obsessed . The cover I have for you today is for Blood Doll by Georgia Cates and it 's fantastic ! ! Isn 't that really pretty . I kind of love the dress too . I want it ! ! I haven 't read the first two books in the series , but it sounds really good . I think I should read them before this one comes out in January . About the author : My name is Amy . I am addicted to reading , coffee , and tea . I love gummy bears and twizzlers . My favorite colors are pink and purple . If you would like to contact me email me at booklovingme @ gmail . comIf you want to send a review request , please read my review policy page first . Thank you . * I am only excepting limited review requests at the moment . Priority will go to publishers or authors I have worked with in the past . * * note : I do not get any compensation for the reviews that I write . They are my honest opinions , and unless stated otherwise , any books I review are purchased by me . Any of my thoughts on reviews , or any other posts are my own . I cannot be held responsible for thoughts or comments from others on my posts . If any comments are offensive in any way I have the right to remove them . I do not accept compensation for any of the posts on this blog . Every post is entirely my own thoughts unless otherwise stated , such as guest posts or interviews with other individuals .
|
I know , I know . It has been a very long time since you have heard anything from me . I found myself at the bottom of a bottle . I gave the middle finger to everyone and everything . I have been reluctant to return to blogging because of my feelings of failure . But I am back and I am ready to go . I have to tell a little story here . I have written about my past struggles with alcohol , relationships , and God . I have looked for a way to find God down so many avenues while still holding on to what I wanted . This is not complete surrender . Complete surrender is where you can truly meet God . So , in November of 2013 , I found myself in a room I rented from a man in Lincoln . I had empty bottles surrounding me , I was 260 lbs , and I was digging through the carpet looking for any stems of weed I may have dropped . I was smoking rocks , carpet fibers , and cat hair by the end just hoping I had picked up some weed with it . I was miserable . I was absolutely miserable . I desired nothing more than to drink myself to sleep and never wake up again . I remember , I walked into my roommates room and stole some change from his dresser , I walked down to the gas station , I bought a pint of vodka and returned home . I set that bottle on the desk in front of me and stared at it . I stared for a long time . I realized in that moment that I didn 't want to drink it , but I knew I was going to . This was my " moment of clarity " . This is the moment I realized I was powerless and my moment of complete surrender . I checked myself into rehab 24 hours later . That is what I will blog about for a while . My journey through sobriety and finding a God of my own understanding . I have been sober for over a year now and have no desire to return to my days before finding God . I know it 's been a long time since I blogged about anything . To be fair , I haven 't felt anything in a long time . I have always had glimpses of freedom ( which is what I am searching for through this blog ) . Along the way , I have created some real wounds in my life . I recently moved back to Lincoln , NE which is where I went to college . I love this town . I have a lot of friends here and some family . I have been doing a lot of thinking since I moved here . You know , influences are everywhere and I knew the negative and positive ones would be here . I remember one of the biggest things I took from my 90 day experience was to be honest with myself and others . Being here around those influences , I have had to hold on to that . I don 't want to admit to some that I have issues . It 's embarrassing . It is embarrassing to tell people that I allowed my life to get so far off track that I couldn 't sleep without a substance to drown out the images seared into my memory . I was a coward to turn to the things I did . The way I handled the pain inside was destructive to not only myself , but to those I loved most . Now that I am here , I have an opportunity to face those demons . I feel extremely free . Just before I came here , I went over to one of my best friends house , my sister . I sat in her living room broken . I fell apart . I cried like a child and confessed my hatred of who I had become . She listened as I cried . I am sure she was in shock and didn 't know how to handle the situation but she just sat there and listened . It was exactly what I needed . She reached out and grabbed my hand at one point . I couldn 't even look at her . I glanced over at her and the expression on her face was absolute acceptance and heartbreak for me . Unconditional love . Something I have experienced before but this was one of the first times in my life that I had felt it . The pain I have inside is ready to be reconciled . I was watching the season premier of Son 's of Anarchy . During a pivotal point a boy walks into a school with a sub machine gun and opens fire ( tactfully filmed I might add ) . Jacks is in a brothel with his new business partner . His wife is in jail for something Jacks asked her to do . While at her bunk a girl comes by and steals her blanket as a show of power . She calmly gets up , walks over , and beats the woman until she is a bloody pulp . Violence we have not seen from her yet . It was a shocking moment to say the least because this is sort of an apex . She has been slowly been becoming more and more like the people she never wanted to be . This is all during a montage that shows members of the biker gang dealing with their pain in different ways . As it pans across the faces of each person that has done unspeakable things , I realized I was just like these people . No different . My soul is tainted . Evil rules us all . Every day in my heart I kill , I steal , I lust , I gossip , I hate , and I lie about it . At least the biker gang has the balls to be honest with the world around them . I wrote a post yesterday about my desire to have a family for the first time in my life . I think life has a lot to offer and I don 't want to go through it alone . It is a lonely world unless you can find love . I had love once . And I still have that love in my memory . I came close to that life once and it all vanished . I started to think about how to get the things I want for my future . I think one of the things that I want more than anything in life is to be content with who I am and love myself so that I can love others . I came up with a plan of how to accomplish this . First is a good self image . I want to look in the mirror and not hate who is looking back at me so I decided to take steps toward loving that man in the mirror . I have things to offer this world . Great things . I want a life of happiness so physically , I decided to lose the weight I have gained since p90x , I decided to read my Bible daily , and I decided to work in the yard every night to keep myself active , productive , and give myself a sense of accomplishment . I want to be able to look back at a job well done and SEE results . These things are visual . These things give tangible results . Yesterday I did the whole routine . I read the Bible in the morning which set up the rest of my day . I then went to work and got a lot done , came home and worked out for an hour , and then worked on the yard . I could look back at the end of the day and feel like I had done something and contributed to society . It 's wild because I lost 9 lbs from yesterday morning to today ! That can 't be healthy but I don 't care . I am going to carry on . I have recently revisited my view on that based on a few things and I wanted to share them here . The other day , ESPN ran a special showing soldiers returning from war and surprising their loved ones . It was amazing to see the joy on the faces of the families being reunited . The children would just run to their fathers / mothers in tears of joy , leaping into the arms of their parent too ecstatic for words . It was just heart wrenching to see how happy everyone was and how much they meant to each other . You can probably see where I am going with this but I will say it anyways . The thought crept into my head that if I continue to live my life for myself , I will never know the joy of a child running and jumping into my arms with unconditional love . I will never have a beautiful wife I can share my life with . I will never know those joys that make living life on this earth bearable . After drying my eyes from watching this emotionally draining clip ( ESPN has a tendency to do that ) , I decided that I wanted that . I have not really wanted anything much from life . I have always had goals but none that were as clear in my head as that ( besides finishing law school ) . I just wanted so bad to have that kind of love in my life . I analyzed my thoughts on this and why this clip influenced me so much . Why had THIS clip made me want something like that ? Then it hit me , I haven 't had love in my life . I have hated myself , my life , my work , my future . I have just had hate in my heart . Selfishness had overtaken every crevasse in my soul . I know have a clear vision of what I want from this life . A family , a career , and a body image that God is in control of . I want to be completely immersed in giving of myself to others that I have no time to think of myself . My nephew used to have this habit of throwing a fit when he didn 't get his way . You couldn 't reason with him and he would just get worked up and be crying and screaming . I would always take him to the back bedroom , put him on the bed , and told him that when he was ready to have a calm conversation then he could get off the bed . He would always come out about 30 seconds later and say , " I 'm done " . He would be calm and would be done with his fit . After these last two years of just pain and agony , I moved back in with my folks for a few months . I went running today and ran over this spot by the river where I used to love to take my ex . We would build a fire by the river and talk about our futures . I asked her out there and that is when my whole world fell apart but mostly because of how I handled the problems that came at me . Today when I went back , I saw the pit where we would build the fire . The coals were still there . I just sat down on the bank and cried out to God asking Him to heal me . I just completely surrendered . I looked down at the fire pit and there was a plant growing out of the middle . It was different from the other plants around . All the other plants were green and different but this one was teal and different . It suddenly hit me that God was answering me . You see , God put me through the fire these last two years . Everything I had was burned and all that was left was a char - coaled heart . Broken and devastated . But God isn 't done with me . This is not the end . This plant growing from the ashes was God telling me that He was going to make me new . I was going to be different after this experience but new . He was going to make me grow and flourish in life . So here I am a new man ready to grow and become the man God intended me to be . I am coming from the ashes and will be stronger than before . God , I 'm done . Posted by I don 't know how to get this feeling out other than writing it down . I hate being completely honest . Anyone who says they enjoy absolute honesty is a liar which is ironic . I have a huge issue that I am reluctant to talk about but this blog is my safe environment . Truthfully , I am broken . I mean , I just went through a couple of the hardest years of my life . The experiences that I went through have really taken a toll on me and I turned to substances to ease the pain . But I made a decision to not let substances control me . As a result , I cannot sleep . I stay awake at night thinking about my past and all that I lost . I just want to sleep . I am exhausted , but unable to sleep because I am now forced to deal with the issues head on . So now for the honesty . If I am being completely honest , I don 't know if my relationship with God is repairable , not because He wouldn 't take me back , but because I am having a hard time forgiving Him for allowing this pain . Night after night , I would lay awake and beg God with tears streaming down my face to comfort me or take the pain . He laid silent . I would scream to Him for some resolution or peace . He laid silent while all around me people are praying for a house to sell , the rain to stop , or some other visible act of Godly intervention and He answers them ! While I sit here begging for something and He just waits . Honestly , I can 't stand to hear people talk about how good God is . What evidence do you have of this that can 't be explained away by coincidence ? My pastor and his wife moved here from Greeley , CO and they aren 't wealthy by any means . They had to carry a mortgage on their house in Greeley for a whole year ! As well as provide housing for themselves here . They moved because they felt like " God called them too " . All the while , a surgeon and his wife from here decided to move . They put their house on the market and it sold for appraisal value that week . They are atheists and despise most organized religion . God told our pastor to move , they had their friends , family , and church praying that their house would sell and no answer . The surgeon had no one pray , no spiritual connection , no help and his house sold almost instantly . So I challenge anyone to prove to me that God answers our prayers for intervention and I challenge you to prove to me that God is good . Now , having said that , I know that God interacts with His creation . He proved it to me once several years ago . I had a conversation with the Deity . So this is not a challenge to prove to me that God exists . It is a challenge to prove that HE was the one that answered your prayer . I pose this question for one main reason , If you can credit God for the prayers He answered in your favor , then why can 't you blame Him for answering in a way that you diI don 't know what plan He has but I am not giving up . I will continue to trust that He knows what He is doing because at this point , I have no other option . I need prayer from my readers , I need encouragement , and I need an answer to my prayer . Posted by
|
I just love summertime . Actually , I really like spring and fall as well . I guess I just love the type of weather where you don 't have to put on a ton of layers to walk outside and when your nose isn 't frozen after being outside for more than ten minutes . I 've never been a snowy , cold day person , and I really don 't think that will ever change . Summer is also nice because it says light outside until 8 : 30 or so , and we can go out and do things outside after Steve comes home and we all eat dinner . It gets so depressing for me in the winter when it 's 4 : 30 and already dark outside . I 'm one of those people that really is affected by the amount of sunlight during the day . Lately Steve and I have been talking about how often we forget to make just our regular , ordinary lives an adventure . Sure , we have taken some nice trips so far this year , and it will get only better in the next few months , but you don 't need to go far away to have mini adventures in your life . Even a nice walk to get ice cream at 7 : 30 on a Thursday evening can be an adventure you 'll always remember . Of course , I know that having kids has made little things like this mean so much more . I also get this overwhelming feeling of gratitude that as the kids grow up , our entire days will be ones of exploration and adventure . When I think of all the things we 'll get to do around our community , state , and world , it makes me feel humble , thankful , and amazed that God had chosen to bless me this way . Jared takes after his father ; he has a huge sweet tooth . He 'd probably sit and eat an entire huge bag of M & Ms or five or six big pieces of cake at one time if we let him . Needless to say , he loves when I suggest making a sweet treat . Alexa is my cooking helper . She 's been cutting up vegetables for pot roast since she was 27 months old . Jared usually doesn 't enjoy helping me cook , but he is usually up for baking something sweet . I haven 't made a lot of things from scratch with them . One of my goals for this winter is to make more fresh bread in the bread machine and see if they 'd like to help . But we did do a few fun things like make blueberry muffins from scratch when we read Blueberries for Sal when they were two and a half , and made jellyroll like the one in Alexander and the Terrible , Horrible , No Good , Very Bad day . I haven 't been very successful in encouraging the kids to help me straighten . Some days are ok but most times all three of us get so involved in our different activities that it doesn 't take long to undo an hour 's worth of straightening . However , if there 's anything at involves using cleaning liquids , my kids are right there begging to clean , especially Alexa . I think this goes along with her love of all things liquid : lotions , sprays and water . Dusting is a favorite activity , especially if I let her spray Pledge on the wood surfaces . She also loves to spray window cleaner on the living room picture window . Jared 's kinda so - so about the whole cleaning thing . Sometimes he 'll ask for a rag , too , and join in , but a lot of times he 'll just watch . I 've always tried to include them in the things that I do . When they were only twenty months old , they 'd help me mop the kitchen floor . Yes , it does take longer , but if I tried to keep them away from me I 'd be stopping and starting so many times because they always want to show me things or , more times than I 'd like to admit , be fighting with each other about something . I love that they do get excited about helping many times and hope that trait stays with them as they grow older . We 've been participating in a nearby library 's summer reading program called Be Creative at your Library . At first I didn 't know how I felt about this . As a whole , I 'm really against giving prizes or any other type of bribery for learning . If it doesn 't come from within , you aren 't truly going to learn anything . But then I think back to participating in the same programs when I was a kid . I remember one year when I was probably seven and the theme was squirrels and after reading a book you could put a nut under your tree hanging up in the library . I really , really looked forward to those reading contests , having a certificate at the end and seeing how many books I could read that summer . I loved reading regardless if there was a prize involved , and I know that already my kids LOVE being read to and have pretty much their whole life , so I know they would love reading even without any external reason to do so . I thought I 'd list the books they have read so far . I 'll probably do another update at the end of the contest which ends July 24th ( the contest started June 8th . ) Edit : Since I first wrote this post , I 've edited it to include all the books we read during the contest . The Gnats of Knotty Pine The day after the Forest Park Summer fest we went to Steve 's parents for dinner , so pineapple upside down cake and had a great time hanging out . My sister - in - law , Cheryl , has a great garden in the backyard from herbs , vegetables , to even a blueberry plant . Last year I had a few containers with herbs and Alexa became really good at identifying the plants . She loved looking at Cheryl 's herbs and was especially excited when she was able to pick some to eat . I was surprised Jared liked playing with these puzzles as much as he did . He hasn 't been unto puzzles as much lately as he was a few months ago . He had been putting together 60 pieces puzzles within a few minutes , so I had thought these baby puzzles would bore him , but he seemed to get a kick out of them . They love to play on the piano whenever we go somewhere where there is a piano . I really wish we could have one at home , but they are expensive , and our house is so tiny there really would be no where to put it . We really do need , however , to get the kids another keyboard ( the old one died on us ) . I just love the summertime . Actually , I 've been becoming really fond of springtime , too , but this year has been particularly rainy , so we haven 't been outside as much . I really do need to buy raincoats and boots for the kids and stop letting the weather get in the way of our outdoor fun . It 's nice to have another area for the kids to explore . The beginning of the summertime is usually great because they can rediscover all the things they did last year . So far they 've really enjoyed running around with the butterfly nets , throwing the Frisbees , trying to climb the bushes in back ( they call that area their forest ) , and riding tricycles on the asphalt in back . Jared just started peddling the tricycle about two weeks ago ! The trikes we have are pretty cheap , so you have to push pretty hard on the pedals if you have even a slightest incline , so I think that 's discouraged them both from using the pedals for a long time . They were very fast just using their legs , so using the pedals slowed them down . On June 6th We attended the Forest Park Festival . It was a cool day , so that made it nice for staying outside for a while . The festival ran down a length of several blocked - off streets . Right away the kids were excited because Trader Joe 's was handing out free cookies . Sugary treats is the number one way to get to Jared 's heart . We meandered through the different booths , saw some face painting , the Wonderworks booth where kids could do crafts , and several musicians . We particularly liked watching the tap dancing demonstration , and Jared seemed proud to drop his dollar into the the donation can . Jared in particular really enjoyed watching a karate demonstration . It was the first time he had seen anyone do karate and was particularly fascinated by the stick demonstrations . I have a feeling he 'll want to participate in this sport when he 's older . Alexa seemed to enjoy it , too , but she needed to have Steve hold her the whole time . Steve 's sister , Shara , met up with us later in the day . It 'll be so nice having her back living at home now since she graduated a few weeks ago . She 's been looking for a job , but hasn 't been successful yet , so it 's been a little hard for her . I grabbed a pulled pork sandwich and Steve had a braut . We found tables near the music stage . The kids sort of ate hot dogs and some chips ( the little bit they usually eat ) , but were much more interested in jumping up and down and dancing . There was a young boy , who looked to be about seven or eight , playing drums with the band . Jared really liked seeing him . Watching that boy made me think again about how we really need to search for a used drum set for Jared . Pots and pans are ok or now , I guess , but I know he would really love a real drum set . We were going to the pony rides , but the kids were distracted by this giant slide , so we had to go on for a quick ride . I 'm such a baby about heights , and even climbing up this ladder which really isn 't at all that high started making me feel dizzy and queasy . How am I ever going to walk to the top of the dome in Milan one day ? We ended the afternoon with a movie at the theater . This makes movie number three for the kids ( inside a theater , that is ) . Their first was Wall - e and then they saw Madagascar II . Today 's movie was Night at the Museum II . We just saw the first one last weekend , so they were really excited to see this one . My kids have always enjoyed creating artworks . Alexa has always loved to draw . In fact , since fifteen months old , she has held a pen the way an adult would . Jared , on the other hand , never seemed interested in drawing until he was a little over two and a half . Then he seemed to want to draw all the time . He didn 't like painting that much either when they first started at 12 months , whereas she would paint for a half hour at a time , even at that young of an age . Now , though , Jared will paint for quite a while , though never as long as she does . We have two easels in the house , one near the front door and another in the hallway . I 've always had chalk , markers , pens and paper out for whenever they 've wanted to use them . We did have quite a bit of marking on our walls in the beginning , but with gentle reminders to use the paper , they quickly learned to use the easel or other paper for their creations . We have their artwork hanging everywhere including the walls in the living room and kitchen . In so many homes children 's artwork is designated refrigerator worthy only . I believe that if we want children to place value in their work , we need to show them it has high value to us , too . If you 've never read Young At Art by Susan Striker , please do so . It will make you think twice about children , art , and learning . Yes , it is a lot of work to clean up the messes , but looking at all their paintings and drawings hanging up , I 'm always reminded how it is so worth it . Alexa is drawing with bathtub crayons , which I highly recommend . On rainy days and in the winter , they make for a great artistic diversion . Also , they are great for drawing on porches , and will come off with minimal scrubbing . I have a girly girl . No one was more surprised than me when this happened . See , I 'm not quite the opposite of a girly girl , but I get pretty close . I used to wear small earrings , but don 't even do that anymore except on special occasions . I only use body spray for special occasions , too . I wear pretty minimal makeup , no accessories , and hardly ever wear nail polish . It 's not that I don 't like the look , it 's just that it takes up so much time that I 'd rather be doing other things . Alexa will probably be the opposite of me . Isn 't that how it usually is , though ? She LOVES to go through the top drawer in the middle of my dresser , the only I rarely go in , and drag out everything she can find . Last time we visited Steve 's parents house , she wanted to try out every single spray and lotion she could find on my mother - in - law 's dresser . We bought her some play make - up for Christmas and I give her the very last parts of my make - up as well . Pretty much every other day she has to do some sort of beautifying treatment . Here 's her painting her nails . She loves to paint hers and whoever else will let her paint theirs as well . Interestingly enough , Jared doesn 't seem interested in even trying to put polish on his nails . It could be because he has some sensory issues , but you 'd think he 'd at least be curious after watching her do it so often . After painting her nails , she went on to paint her whole chest , too . Even after a bath , it took a few days to finally rub off ! On the way back from our Missouri trip , when we stopped in the Cracker Barrel for dinner , we bought a pretend dinosaur egg . It was the kind where you place the egg in water and within 48 hours it will hatch and become a baby dinosaur ( in our case a Stegosaurus . ) I was really surprised at how Alexa especially was so excited about wanting to check the egg so much to see how much more the egg had cracked open . Well , 60 hours later and still not hatched all the way , I helped the egg along and our baby dino was born . Here 's Alexa making dinosaur footprints in the play dough . Alexa LOVES to play in the sink . It 's something she does very regularly . They were seventeen months old when they would first stand up on chairs in front of the sink and play for hours . Her favorite activities in the sink now are filling up cups with soap and scrubbing them out , and still simply filling up containers with water and dumping them from one into another . What if you could grow up learning the things you were interested in ? What if you grew up having everyday adventures that you helped design ? What if your adventures lead you to an amazing world of new experiences , ideas and creativity ? Welcome to the adventures of two children growing up living and learning this way . Join me as I record our adventures , occassional philosophical asides on the joy of interest - led learning , and the eclectic resources we discover along the way . This is our eclectic odyssey .
|
I burn the Christmas lights long after the day has passed . The soft warm glow of tungsten soothes me . I grew up on film photography , old school , and loathed florescent and LED . Say goodbye to tungsten ; the last 100 watt bulb rolled off the assembly line in December 2011 . We lost poet Ruth Stone in 2011 and singer - songwriter Phoebe Snow . They leave behind a rich legacy - their poetry . We lost Hope , the world 's most famous black bear , to the long arms of a Minnesota hunting season . Did they choose their lives , or did their lives choose them ? Goodbye December , January awaits . I look forward to the New Year . In setting goals for 2012 , I can 't help but think of the things I will leave to 2011 . I never heard back from my father , yet I feel glad I wrote the letter . It is one less thing I have to wonder about . Mr . Stripey Pants had surgery on Monday , December 12th . Bone rubbed on bone in his lower jaw when he chewed his food . We tried to be upbeat that morning , saying he was on his way to breakfast at Tiffany 's ( the name of his surgeon ) . A few weeks later he is almost back to normal . The scar tissue that had formed around a puncture wound near a back tooth has been removed ; it was not cancerous . I am grateful for good vet care and the resources to pay for it . Minnesota leaves behind the 86 inches of snow from last Winter , an unfair trade for the tawny grasses and 50 degree days in the Twin Cities last week . I don 't miss the shoveling , but wonder how the Art Shanty Project will take place on Medicine Lake in January . Where is the frozen Minnesota tundra of 2011 ? I leave behind a broiling sweaty Summer where I did little gardening . The cedars look limp and brown . Fall 2011 was one of the driest on record . Rain , rain , come and play , don 't wait another day . I have grown to miss the rain . I leave behind a year of no travel , unusual for me . My large extended family lives in Pennsylvania and Georgia , so I often plan vacations around flying back East . I missed visiting with them . In 2011 , I attended no out of state writing workshops . I did not take a vacation outside of Minnesota . There was one trip to North Dakota , but not for pleasure ( though it had its moments ) . I leave behind all the angst and sorrow created by the greed and selfishness of others . You sometimes learn the most about people when things go awry . It 's not over yet . The law requires patience , and the resources to carry through over the long haul . Dear December , there were days you left me nostalgic and somber . But I vow to enter 2012 with optimism and gratitude . I will long carry the joy of my brother 's visit to Minnesota the week before Thanksgiving . I carry two healthy cats , Kiev and Mr . Stripey Pants . I carry the love of a caring partner , close friends , and family . I carry excitement at the prospect of celebrating Liz 's birthday in January , and a trip to Wisconsin for a self - propelled writing retreat in February , what used to be the dead of Winter . I leave behind anger , resentment , regret ; I release what is no longer helping me be the best person I can be . What people , places or things do you leave behind ? The pantry is stocked . The black - eyed peas soak in the pot , ready to bless the place I call home with good luck and cheer . I am grateful for those who stick with me in times of uncertainty . I am grateful for those who come to the aid of all sentient beings in this world , not just humans . I am grateful that we do not inhabit this planet alone , that there are ancient burr oaks , Southern live oaks , slithering snakes , hairy spiders , playful black bears and white winter squirrels . I am grateful that the decisions that matter most are not left in the hands of humans . December , I say goodbye to you tonight with gratitude and anticipation . I am thankful for your rituals . It 's the night before the New Year . What will my yearly practices be ? It will be around the last fire of 2011 that I choose goals for 2012 . Thank you , December , for having the courage to let go . My grandmother , who was Dutch , did an incredible job of spring cleaning , every March , every year she was alive . No object and no surface was spared a scrubbing . Rugs were taken out and beaten within an inch of their threaded lives ; walls were washed with a hard brown scrub brush . Curtains taken down and washed . Every closet emptied , every sheet and towel bleached and washed . Everything dried outdoors on a clothesline . In March , Wisconsin is still cold so things froze out there , pillowcases transformed into wrinkled boards . Socks turned into twisted sculptures . She washed every dish and pot and spoon . Then when it was all done and everything set back in its proper place , she 'd cover the sofa and chairs and lampshades in the living room with plastic covers . She 'd lay a plastic path from doorway to living room couch and into the dining room . When I was around 11 , I asked her , finally , who she was keeping everything so clean for and when would she remove the ugly plastic . ( I didn 't say the word , ugly , I 'm sure ) . " The plastic keeps everything ready for company , " she replied . " But , " I protested , " Aren 't I company ? " I had never once seen her living room without plastic . " You , " she explained , " are family . Not company . " She didn 't need to add that I , being a rather messy child , was one of the reasons she protected her furniture . My mother didn 't do spring cleaning . She did like to open up all the windows on the first day the temperature rose over 50 - to air everything out . I always loved that , coming home from school for lunch and finding the windows all wide open , the house looking like a toothless , eyeless caricature of itself , the air sweet and chilly . My mother hated being a housewife and did not cotton to cooking or cleaning . She did the minimums and stuck to the 50 's schedule that most of her friends observed : Monday clean and do laundry ; Tuesday iron ; Wednesday , volunteer work ; Thursday , groceries ; Friday , light cleaning ( a lick and a promise , is what she called it ) ; Saturday was the night my dad cooked burgers and Sundays we went to my grandparent 's house for dinner . My mother did what she felt she must but mostly without joy and often with many sighs . She did seem to enjoy ironing ( which I so don 't get ) and would sing while she ironed , in a voice like Ella Fitzgerald . Singing over the ironing and walking in the mountains - those are the times I remember my mother at her happiest . Not cleaning . Never spring cleaning . Well , it 's sort of spring now and I am sort of spring cleaning . I 've been putting hours in every week to clean my attic . It has to be done . We 're selling the house and moving to the country . I 've lived in this house for 28 years , married husband # 2 after living alone here with my daughter for 5 years , moved that husband and his daughter in , had another baby , raised these kids until each one grew their feathers and flew off . Also raised a cockatiel , a parrot , four dogs and numerous gerbils and hamsters in this house . Can you imagine the debris ? My attic had become a combination museum , closet ( huge closet ) , and file cabinet . Treasures and cast - offs that have trickled down to me from three generations and two family lines . The leftover objects include outgrown clothes , games , books , and life directions . My very first poem , written at age 10 . A couple of Jessie 's baby teeth , nestled inside the newborn bracelet she wore in the nursery : " Baby girl , Marks - Szedziewski , 2 - 19 - 78 . " An envelope containing a curling wisp of very blond baby hair , Nic 's first haircut , 1988 , a battered and faded pink pair of tiny toe shoes ( mine , from 1955 , I think ; although they might be my aunt Jeanne 's ) . A hair curling iron ( great - grandmother Nettie 's , late 1800 's ) . Aunt Jeanne 's bracelets from the 30 's . So glad I didn 't throw those away . Hundreds of notes from Jessie and from Nic : I Love You , Mommy . Mommy don 't tell anyone but I love you best . Thank you for being my mommy , You are the best Mommy , Next time you go on a trip , take me too . Mommy , I hate camp . Come and get me out of here , please ! please ! please ! Nic 's version of Jingle Bells , written at age 4 with a few backwards letters , words scrawled across the page , Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle all the way , Oh What Fun on Al 's True Ride , On the One on Holken Slay . Jessie 's school trophies , soccer and swimming , her camp and sports t - shirts , Nic 's academic medals for top scores in the state on the ACT and SAT at age 9 and 10 , his IQ testing done at Northwestern U when he was 5 . I will be 63 in a month . The past is truly the past . There are no do - overs and no time left for holding on . Time , instead , for letting go . For boxing up , and throwing away , for going to UPS to send Jessie her soccer and swim team t - shirts , to send Nic his Pokemon card collection . Handing the keepsakes over to my grown - up kids , handing over to them the job of remembering . In the process of this sorting and cleaning , I 've had to remind myself again and again to let go not only of the objects but the feelings . I 've laughed , I 've cried , I 've longed to have my children back in my arms , on my lap , longed for one more night of reading in bed with Jessie at age 7 , one more night of long conversation at bedtime with Nic when he was 10 . One more chance to see each of them for one hour during each year of their growing - up - one more chance to drink in the sight of them , their wispy hair , freckled faces , braces and missing teeth , to listen to their piping little voices more intently , memorize each one of them even more completely . I had expected that cleaning out all this old stuff would help me clear the decks for this next chapter of my life , and yes , I guess that 's happening . I had anticipated reminiscing . I hadn 't anticipated the wave upon wave of memories to be so visceral , so wrenching , so expanding and swooping and full of love . I am not only clearing the decks ; I am also rejuvenating both myself and the attic . Am going through some kind of death and resurrection here . Turning myself inside out and right side out again . Right side out and I must admit , a little trembly . About Judith : Judith Ford is a psychotherapist and writer who lives in Milwaukee , Wisconsin . She was red Ravine 's very first guest writer , with the piece 25 Reasons I Write . Judith 's other pieces on red Ravine include lang • widge , Mystery E . R . , I Write Because , and PRACTICE - Door - 20min . Spring Cleaning is based on a 15 minute Writing Practice on WRITING TOPIC - SPRING CLEANING . I 've seen a dragonfly every day since I took this BlackBerry photograph on July 2nd . It landed atop a daylily in the garden on a sweltering afternoon . Earlier that day , I saw two dragonflies mating on the wing , the first time I had spotted the insect all year . Dragonflies , butterflies and fireflies - highlights of Summer . We don 't see the volume of fireflies here in Minnesota that I used to see growing up in the Deep South and in Pennsylvania . So I look to the Dragons for inspiration . If I see enough of them , I start to pay attention . Dragonflies and their close relatives called damselflies are ancient insects and prehistoric reminders of the age of the dinosaurs . Enormous dragonflies with a wingspread up to 30 inches across were part of the Paleozoic landscape about 300 million years ago . The largest insect ever known was a dragonfly called Meganeura monyi . It had a wingspread of 30 inches and a body 18 inches long . It lived until about 250 million years ago and then became extinct . The last time I wrote about Dragonfly was in May of 2007 . The second Canon Powershot photograph on Shadow Of A Dragonfly is one of my favorites , with the recent BlackBerry Dragonfly photo closing in for the tie . There is just something about Dragonflies . I pulled out the Medicine Cards tonight and this is what I read : Dragonfly medicine is of the dreamtime and the illusionary facade we accept as physical reality . The iridescence of Dragonfly 's wings reminds us of colors not found in our everyday experience . Dragonfly 's shifting of color , energy , form , and movement explodes into the mind of the observer , bringing vague memories of a time or place where magic reigned . Some legends say that Dragonfly was once Dragon , and that Dragon had scales like Dragonfly 's wings . Dragonfly is the essence of the winds of change , the messages of wisdom and enlightenment , and the communications from the elemental world . This elemental world is made up of the spirits of plants , and the elements Air , Earth , Fire , and Water . On one level , you may need to give thanks to the food you eat for sustaining your body . On a psychological level , it may be time to break down the illusions you have held that restrict your actions or ideas . Dragonfly medicine always beckons you to seek out the parts of your habits which you need to change . Have you tended to the changes you have wanted to make in your life ? If you feel the need for change , call on Dragonfly to guide you through the mists of illusion to the pathway of transformation . See how you can apply the art of illusion to your present question or situation , and remember that things are never completely as they seem . There are over 5000 species of dragonflies and damselflies . Not only do they eat mosquitoes and fly between 19 to 38 m . p . h . , they are magic . When we were at a Fourth of July gathering and ritual healing for the Gulf of Mexico , a friend found a Dragonfly wing in her garden . When she heard about my encounters with Dragonfly , she handed the veined , translucent wing to me . I tucked it inside the cover of my writing notebook . The things I carry . Dragonfly secrets . Written in the wind . - related to posts : What Is Your Totem Animal ? and WRITING TOPIC - INSECTS & SPIDERS & BUGS , OH MY ! ( You haven 't lived until you 've seen ybonesy 's photograph of a Jerusalem Cricket in the Rio Grande Valley . Check out Child of the Earth and Me at the Insects & Spiders & Bugs Writing Topic link ! ) Back in Pennsylvania . I always think I 'm going to post more than I do from the road . But at the end of the day , I find myself exhausted . Out as soon as the head hits the pillow . Perhaps it 's the introvert in me . I love traveling West to East , North to South , all the people I see only once a year . I wish there were a dozen of me . Maybe a baker 's dozen . Yesterday I drove 13 hours back from Georgia with Mom . I spent this October day with my family in Pennsylvania . It 's almost 4am and I find myself wide awake , wanting to write . It 's the best I can do to post a haiku , a note , a few photographs from the Pink Cadillac Diner in Natural Bridge , Virginia . It 's a little off the beaten trail . Mom was finishing up her ice cream cone while I walked out to photograph the Caddy . A young woman strode proudly up behind me with her two daughters , camera in tow . " My dad took a photo of me in front of this very spot , " she said , " and now I get to take a photo of you . " Snap . I watched her daughters gleaming next to the rusty chrome . " Would you like me to take a photo of all of you together ? " I asked . " I 'd love that , " she smiled , rushing over to hand me her pocket camera . The day was perfect for driving . The light illuminated by Fall . I hung my head out the window and snapped photos of a sunset front over Virginia . There is so much to tell . For the time being , will you settle for the highlights ? On May 3 , 1952 I arrived to take part in the family drama . My parents celebrated their twelfth wedding anniversary the week after I was born . Dad had turned 38 in February . My sister would turn ten in September , followed by Mom 's 37th birthday the end of November . As a child I adored my father , but around the age of five I didn 't want him to touch me . I would scream if he came close . He loved to come home from work and rub his unshaven face against my cheeks until they turned red . I hated that . I hated him . My father exploded at odd times . Seemingly benign topics of conversation would cause him to yell and pound the table . Although never physically violent , his fits scared me and made conversation with him unpredictably frightening . The first craziness that I remember occurred one Sunday afternoon . My sister had come home . My grandmother had come to town from the farm . Our car pulled up in front of the house and I went to the door . My mother was yelling . My father , half in and half out of the car , shouted at someone . I looked to see who they were screaming at and realized they were arguing . I had never seen them argue like that . " Sis , come here . You gotta see this . " From behind me I heard , " What the hell ? " She nudged me . " Shut the door . We don 't want them to know we saw . " I closed the door . Five minutes later , Mom walked into the house and threw her purse on the bed . When she noticed us staring at her , she sighed , " Len will join us later . He has something to do right now . " Years later my mother said , " Your father got scared when you started to first grade . He knew someone wanted to kidnap you kids . They planned to snatch you at the Frosty Treat . " The Frosty Treat was a popular , after - school , ice cream shop . Without any explanation our parents had forbidden us from joining our friends there . I didn 't think much about it . By the time I started school , I had grown used to these commands . The new order was , " Come home directly from school . " I obeyed . My mother told me that Dad has accused her of moving the pillows on their bed to make him crazy . " We only had two pillows . I never understood what I had done . " Although these episodes continued through my childhood , she never talked about them . When I asked about the argument on that Sunday afternoon , my mother swore me to silence . " Your dad said an angel descended into the church and stood next to him during the service . It communicated telepathically and told him to watch himself . The man next to him had been sent to see if he played with himself during church . I told him he was crazy . That 's when he yelled at me . " Physical problems plagued Dad during the late 1960 's . The grain dust at work irritated his one good lung and caused severe asthma attacks . I can close my eyes and hear the gasping sound as he struggled to breathe . I can see him sitting at the kitchen table , his mouth wide open and his neck muscles strained , as he inhaled . My mother walked twelve blocks in the dark to the pharmacy to buy the " breathing medicine . " She never asked me , her teenage son , to go . As soon as she left , I crawled under my bed and hid . I didn 't want to hear any calls for help . I 'd fail him . I always did . He underwent hernia surgery in December 1968 and a re - do in January 1969 . He stayed off work until March . Two weeks after he returned to work he suffered his stroke . Chaos erupted . My mother stopped being a mother and became a devoted wife . I resented his stroke because it hadn 't killed him and because it took my mother away . Somewhere in the years that followed , he gave up . Not that I blame him . His life beat him down . The stroke and residuals destroyed what little will he had left . It ended any chance I had to talk with him about what happened between us , to ask him questions , to make my accusations , to hear his side of the story . Even if he hadn 't lost his mind , I couldn 't have talked to him , so great was my hatred . On May 2 , 1984 , he died of old age . A birthday " present " I can never forget . I joined forces with my mother . I disliked the failure I thought he was . I sometimes treated him with no dignity because I thought he deserved my contempt . Perhaps most importantly , I hated him because he didn 't love me enough . But then , I never gave him a chance . Like my father , I must forgive myself for all the things I did and didn 't do in my relationship with him . Only then can I truly bear witness for my father . About Bob : Bob Chrisman is a Kansas City , Missouri writer who frequently writes memoir about his mother , her three sisters , and their influence on his life . My Life With Dad is Part III in his exploration of a trilogy series about his father . Part I , My Father 's Witness , was published on red Ravine in August , followed in September by Part II , Bearing Witness . I possess no physical evidence to offer in defense of my father . Family stories and my own fragmented memories comprise what little I know of him . Fifty - seven years have blurred much of what I remembered , but I will bear witness for him . At a trial , the court clerk would instruct me to raise my right hand . " Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth , the whole truth , and nothing but the truth ? " I would hesitate before I answered . I don 't know the " truth . " I only know my truth . But the court doesn 't want to hear my doubts . The only answer to the question is , " I do . " On February 28 , 1914 , my father , Len Chrisman , became the first child of H . T . and Annie Chrisman . In September of that same year , H . T . 's gall bladder ruptured . The resulting infection killed him . My father never knew his father , not even from stories , because his mother didn 't talk about the man . When she remarried in 1920 , she chose a widower , William Hecker , who had seven children . By all accounts , including some from his children , he was a very angry man . Mr . Hecker stipulated one condition for the marriage . " You must promise that you 'll never favor your son over my children . " She promised , and she never broke a promise . My father rarely talked about the mother of his childhood . I remember him saying , " She married him because the children needed a mother . She felt sorry for them . " The step - daughters resented her . Ruth , the oldest , had already married and left home . Fern and Gladys soon followed their oldest sister 's lead . The remaining daughter , Myrtle , who was my father 's age , loved both her new stepmother and stepbrother . The teenaged stepsons , Ralph and Glenn , took after their father . They hated my dad because he had been an only child with a mother all to himself . The remaining step - son , Everett , died in 1926 . My father rarely spoke of him , except to say , " He died too young . " Early in the marriage they lived in western Nebraska . One day the boys roped my dad and dragged him behind a horse through cactus patches . " I never cried . Mom pulled the needles out of my bottom and back with a pair of pliers . I didn 't cry then either . I never let them have that satisfaction . " His voice remained flat as he told the first part of the story , but cracked when he said . " You know , my own mother didn 't say anything to Dad Hecker or to the boys . " A high school teacher offered to send him to college and pay his expenses . My father wanted to go . " Mom and Dad Hecker listened politely . The last thing he said was , ' A brilliant mind like his shouldn 't go to waste . ' " " Mom answered as soon as he finished , didn 't even take time to mull it over . ' None of the other kids went to college . Len doesn 't need to go either . ' It wouldn 't have cost them anything . I left the room because I was so mad at her . " Her decision doomed my dad to a lifetime of farm labor and blue collar jobs . He worked at a dairy . He worked in a foundry , a meat packing plant , and finally in a grain mill . He never fit in with his fellow workers . He read too much , thought too much . My father met my mother in the mid - 1930 's . She lived down the street from his parents . The two became friends . In the late 1930 's he traveled to Oregon to pick fruit because local jobs didn 't exist . His traveling companions were his future brothers - in law . He wrote letters to my mother . She saved them , called them " love letters " even though they contained no obvious expressions of love , other than " Love , Len . " " No , he was nothing like my father . I felt sorry for Len . He needed me . " I cringed . My heart hurt . She hadn 't loved my father . I didn 't ask any more questions because I didn 't want to know the answers . In 1943 his stepfather died , but not before he secured a promise from his wife to watch over Ralph . My father never understood why she agreed to put up with someone who had treated her so rudely , a man who cussed and swore about everything . Maybe she felt sorry for him because his vision was so severely impaired . Whatever the reason , she took care of him until her death 32 years later in 1975 . In 1952 I arrived . Unexplainably , my mother laid sole claim to me . She excluded my sister and father from taking care of me . I was her child . The possession of my life had begun . For the first five years I slept next to my parents ' bed in a crib , then on a tiny rollaway bed . Our four - room house didn 't have any extra rooms . My father added two rooms , moved my sister to a new bedroom and moved me into her old room . He lived his early life abandoned and betrayed by the people who loved him or should have loved him . He had no protector , no father . Long after he died I complained to my mother about the kind of father he had been . " Don 't be so hard on him . He never learned to be a father because he never had one himself . " My father and I never had a chance to have a normal father - son relationship . That 's all the truth I know for now . About Bob : Bob Chrisman is a Kansas City , Missouri writer who frequently writes memoir about his mother , her three sisters , and their influence on his life . This is Part II of a series of three about his father . Part I , My Father 's Witness , was published on red Ravine in August . Bob 's other red Ravine posts include Aunt Annie 's Scalloped Oysters , Hands , Growing Older , Goat Ranch , Stephenie Bit Me , Too , The Law Of Threes , and In Memoriam . May 2 , 2009 was the twenty - fifth anniversary of my father 's death . He died physically that day , but he had died to most everyone a long time before that . In March 1969 he punched the time clock as he left work . He felt a numbness speed through his left side . He stumbled to a doorway to brace himself and waited for coworkers to find him . They brought him home because he told them to take him there , not to the hospital . They carried him from the car , up the three sets of stairs and into the front room where they sat him on the sofa . My mother called an ambulance . " I 'm going with your father . You drive up later . " My world crumbled that day when God answered my prayers and struck my father down . I hated him for a variety of unclear reasons . He didn 't love me . He wanted nothing to do with me . He wasn 't good to my mother . Despite all these vague , but strong reasons , the guilt built inside me . I asked myself repeatedly , " What have I done ? " The doctors ran tests . They diagnosed a relatively small stroke and couldn 't understand why his physical condition didn 't improve . He had retained his mental faculties . They transferred him to the university hospital in Columbia . My mother took the bus every weekend to visit him … a four - hour ride each way . He improved a little . I saw him one time there . He took his walker and accompanied me down the hall when I left . When he came home months later , the ambulance people carried him up the stairs to the house and placed him in a wheelchair in the front room . His entire life centered on the front room and his bedroom . In three years he lost his mind . He didn 't know me anymore . His son flew an airplane for a living . One day he said , " My son doesn 't come visit . I think you 'd like him . " Even though I hated him , I wish he had remembered me . It hurt that he created another son who he admired . He thought my mother was his mother . His repressed anger at her burst out . She told me the first time it happened . He screamed at her . " You keep me a prisoner in this bed . " She bowed her head . " I 'm embarrassed to admit that I threw back his covers . ' If you can walk , then get up and walk . ' I stood where he couldn 't see me and watched as he struggled to sit up . He couldn 't . He couldn 't even roll over . " She started to cry . " I couldn 't bear it so I covered him up . He had that scared look that people get when they realize how bad things really are . I couldn 't look at him . I ran to the back porch and cried my eyes out . " For several months , he visited the circus in his mind . I would sit on his bed and he would ask , " May I have some cotton candy and peanuts ? " He would ramble on and on about the men on the trapeze and the elephant . Next he moved to his paranoid phase . My mother ( who he still thought was his mother ) had joined a conspiracy against him . " Get the gun . Shoot her . Get the gun while she 's out of the room . " I looked in the drawer . I carried the drawer to his bed and dumped its contents . " See , there isn 't any gun . We never had a gun . " People forgot him . He became a fixture to me like a piece of furniture that held painful memories . I avoided him , didn 't talk to him for almost 10 years . Why bother ? The afternoon of May 2 , 1984 he died . By the time I made it home , my mother had removed all signs of his illness … 15 years boxed up and carried to the basement . The hospital bed disappeared . The commode vanished . I felt like I had entered a twilight zone . " Where is all the stuff ? " I asked . People who attended the visitation the night before the funeral acted surprised . Some of them had known my mother for years . " We thought she was a widow . We didn 't know that your father was still alive . " In many ways she had become a widow in March of 1969 . We laid him to rest at the cemetery in Gower on a gray , cloudy day . The minister conducted a short , graveside service . I waited for someone to lower the casket into the vault . No one appeared . The mourners left for their cars . The most profound sadness filled me . Once again he had been abandoned by the people who said they loved him . I hadn 't loved him for years , but I couldn 't leave him all alone . I wanted to stay with his coffin until they lowered it and covered it with dirt . " I don 't want to leave him here by himself . Can 't we wait until they lower the coffin into the grave ? He must be lonely . " I could barely speak for the tears . My last memory is this : his gray metal coffin rests on a shiny chrome frame , the canopy of the viewing tent flaps wildly in the wind , clouds move across the gray sky and shadows run over the green grass and tombstones . I wish I could say his death ended our troubled relationship , but it didn 't . More of the story remained to be told . I must recall it now to bear witness for my father . About Bob : Bob Chrisman is a Kansas City , Missouri writer who frequently writes memoir about his mother , her three sisters , and their influence on his life . This is his first piece about his father , Part I of a series of three . Bob 's other red Ravine posts include Aunt Annie 's Scalloped Oysters , Hands , Growing Older , Goat Ranch , Stephenie Bit Me , Too , The Law Of Threes , and In Memoriam . top posts Top 7 Wonder Woman Quotes 100 Writing Topics How Many Days In The Month Of March - - 30 Or 31 ? Flabby Arms Are Genetic ( And Other Facts Of Life I Need To Face ) WRITING TOPIC - - MY FIRST BICYCLE WRITING TOPIC - THE 7 DEADLY SINS The 1960 's - - What Was America Reading ? WRITING TOPIC - - MY FAVORITE COFFEE SHOP The Pixy Stix Challenge ! Pablo Neruda 's Love Of Things recent comments Josh Gross | The Jag … on Sandhill Crane MigrationQuoinMonkey on Sandhill Crane MigrationJosh Gross | The Jag … on Sandhill Crane MigrationQuoinMonkey on haiku 4 ( one - a - day ) Meets reng … Walljasper on haiku 4 ( one - a - day ) Meets reng … Sandhill Crane Migra … on World 's Largest Sandhill … Sandhill Crane Migra … on ValentineJason C . on Back To Holcomb , One Last … QuoinMonkey on Tornado , Bighorn Basin , W … Rodney Fox on Back To Holcomb , One Last … Rich on Tornado , Bighorn Basin , W … QuoinMonkey on On Death & Dying : In His O … QuoinMonkey on haiku 4 ( one - a - day ) Meets reng … 28 - Taos Morada , Geo … on morada haikulisa on Pileated Woodpecker ( Heartbeat … more photos by QuoinMonkey More Photos Subscribe to redRavine Get updates in your Inbox . Enter your email address to follow red Ravine & receive notifications of new posts by email . MN Black Bears - Lily the Black Bear & Shadow 's Clan
|
I read . I played with my dolls . I learned to sew to make clothes for my dolls . I redecorated , then rebuilt , my doll house . I read some more . I made up stories , and acted them out with my dolls ( it helped that , as an only child , I had a cast of thousands ) . I started writing down my stories . But writing fit . I could do it in my head , or after my mom went out and left me in peace , or after everyone went to bed . When I was bored at school , I could listen to the voices and run home and write down everything they said . When I started working , mindlessly typing for lawyers , I could plot and plan and scribble on bits of paper and then do my own typing at night . All this is leading to the fact that I write . I have always written . Other than this blog , which I started when my regular life was getting in the way of my writing ( and I wasn 't facing how much that bothered me ) , I haven 't said much about it in public . It was mine . It was something that kept me sane through a lot of unhappy teenage years and all the times when I just didn 't feel like I fit into my life . The life in my head , well , that always fit . Because I made it up . There was one particular project I started years ago . I wrote like a madwoman , researched , wrote some more . Put it down . Picked it up , got distracted , started dating , broke up , wrote my heart out , dealt with family stuff , changed jobs , more family stuff , changed another job , started dating again , got married - how did that happen ? - and eventually came back to what had come before and in between all along . And now , dear readers , I have what seems to be called a book . A novel , if you will . Tweaked and polished and pored over lo these many years . I 've let a few close friends read it to offer criticism and suggestions - and nearly expired in the process of handing my baby over - and now it 's ready to be released into a wider world . I feel sick to my stomach . It 's been mine for so long , but if it 's done , isn 't the whole point of a story to share it ? I recently finished a synopsis , because of course after you write an epic saga , you have to turn around and boil it back down to a couple of paragraphs , and I just started sending query letters to agents . All this makes me dizzy , but I 've done it . What 's the worst that can happen - that it 'll go back into a drawer ( or a hard drive ) for another life cycle ? It 's time to let go . The purple and gold ones are made from sweatshirt fabric ( left over from previous projects ) and the black and white one is made from a work skirt that I outgrew , I 'm embarrassed to say . Especially since I made said skirt to fit . And it did . The title of the post comes from something my mom used to say . I don 't know where it came from , but if that is indeed the case , then my mom was an elephant . She never forgot anything - - good , bad or indifferent , it was all stored up there to throw back at you later . Anyway , elephants . This series of projects started out as a pair of misbegotten pajama pants : drawstring / elastic waist , no pattern matching on the side seams . Elephants . I loved them on sight , though I knew I 'd never wear them . They 've been sitting on my sewing table for at least 6 months , and the other week I cut them up and stared at the pieces for a while . Obviously the biggest bits had to go for a dress - - some little girl ( or her mother ) is going to fall in love with that elephant print . I love that I didn 't have to add any embellishment . Realistically , what would have showed up beyond the print ? I was left with a pile of scraps . Scraps , in my world , now equal potholders . I managed to get 8 potholders out of the remnants , and I think they 're pretty cute . Five of them feature a good - sized elephant motif in the center , surrounded by black - and - white check and solid black fabrics , and the other 3 have the print interspersed with the other fabrics plus denim to match the back of the potholders . I don 't think these will last too long on the craft show table . Remember back in January , I mentioned that I was making a top for my friend , Maria Wulf , for her birthday , and that she would be sending me one of her wall hangings for my birthday ? Yeah , well , the gift exchange actually did happen . She got her top , and I got her wall hanging , and now , finally , months after the fact , I 've remembered to write about it . Yesterday I put the hanging up on the back of the door . It 's a white background , it 's high enough to be away from the cats , and I can see it from the machine . Works for me . Maria made this to my somewhat inexact specifications . I said that while I have a lot of cats , I generally don 't like cat kitsch . I have enough of the real ones that I don 't need cat knicknacks . But this was sort of for Lily . She 's the sewing room kitty , and I know she won 't be around forever , though hopefully she 'll hang on for a few more years at least . So I said that if she had any cats in her collection of vintage appliques , one for Lily would be good . I also said there were no color or print restrictions whatsoever - - I 've never met a color or a print I don 't like , and usually in combination . With that for guidelines , I think she did a stellar job , don 't you ? We stopped and visited with Maria last weekend when we were in NY for the goat workshop , and even though it was only a brief visit , it was great to talk to another fiber - oriented person about her obsessions , fabric and trim collection , pet her new sewing machine and see all of her current projects . Posted by I 've got a show tomorrow , and instead of just assuming I had it all together and getting there tomorrow to realize I 'd forgotten something - - again - - today I pulled everything out of the tubs and laid it out all over the dining room so I could actually see what I had . That 's the entire inventory right now . The table holds bears , stuffed animals and the new flat stuffed animals , a box of felt flower hair clips ( otherwise known as bait for little girls ) , and a stack of potholders . The tub on the floor is full of fringed t - shirt scarves , the chair has some bags ( quilt hobo / wristlet and clutch ) , and the chair back has the embroidered pillow covers . The other chair back is holding all the dresses . And now looking at it , I really need to get a tablecloth instead of using that old sheet on the dining room table . I just got a new / old table from my sister - in - law and I 'm trying to keep it from getting scratched , so that 's just a temporary fix . This past weekend we went to a workshop up at Cold Antler Farm in Cambridge , NY . The workshop was called " Goats and Soap , " and in addition to knowing I would enjoy it and really wanting a weekend out of the city , I had a theory : either this would totally get me over the idea of wanting goats or it would make it worse , but at least it would be an informed worse . I would know what it was that I couldn 't have in a city back yard , and why I wanted it . The goats were cute . The goats were friendly . The goats were freaking photogenic . The goats give milk , which makes soap and goat cheese . Think about having a source of goat cheese in your back yard . At the farm , we started out the morning by making goats milk soap . We did this first so it would ( hopefully ) have time to cure so we could take some home . That didn 't cooperate , but it doesn 't matter ; I know what we did and soap - making doesn 't seem so mysterious now , either . A handsome buck at Common Sense Farm While the soap was mixing , we talked about goats : how to keep them , what they were like , why Jenna wanted them in the first place . We got to meet her two goats , Bonnie and Ida ( her daughter ) . Bonnie is still giving milk , so Jenna started her off and then most of us took a shot . I got it on the first try ! We broke for lunch after that , and when we returned to the farm we piled into cars and drove down the road to Common Sense Farm . They have a fairly large goat dairy ( 20 + animals ) , and they make a lot of soap as well . We didn 't get to check out their soap operations , but we did get an exhaustive ( but fun ) lecture on goats from Yesheva which covered everything from cleaning and trimming hooves to milking to giving injections to how to deliver a kid , with stories interspersed and her six year old daughter diving in and out like a barn swallow , helping and chatting and picking up every cute baby animal within reach . After the conclusion of Goat 101 , we went upstairs in the barn to visit the hatchery , where they raise chickens , turkeys , ducks , pheasants and probably more . There was an enormous white peacock roosting in the barn rafters , tail drifting down like some bizarre feathered chandelier . Everything was spotless and smelled more like straw and wood shavings than birds , and it made me want to come home and clean the chicken coop . Common Sense Farm runs to about 200 acres , much of which is garden . On our way back to Cold Antler Farm , we took a tour of their vegetable gardens , which were enormous . They 're totally organic , so some of the weeds were pretty spectacular as well - - but as we were told , that is why you pay so much for organic produce , all that work has to be done without chemicals , so it 's a lot more labor intensive . It was such a nice day I considered volunteering to weed a row of carrots as a thank you for their hospitality , but I didn 't want to hold up the group . And I think Mario would have thought I 'd lost my mind . My main concern going up for the workshop was what he would think . I 'm happy outside , generally the dirtier the better , but he 's an indoor - at - the - desk - in - the - climate - control kind of guy . Nothing wrong with that , but I was afraid he 'd develop a severe allergy to all the nature he was about to encounter . And I don 't mean specifically grass and plants , but country , animals and a very different mindset than he 's used to . He came through it like a champ , though - - I shouldn 't have worried ; he 's interested in absolutely everything , even if it 's not something he wants to do . And he 's an information junkie , so Yesheva 's talk about goats really impressed him , he 's fascinated by anyone who has amassed a store of knowledge on any topic . And he milked a goat . And held a baby duck , courtesy of that same six - year - old girl . Chickens at Common Sense Farm And I think he understands the goat thing now . I don 't think he 'd want to live at Common Sense Farm , or even Cold Antler Farm , but if we ever get outside the city and have some more ground , he wouldn 't be surprised to find another half dozen or so chickens and a goat or two smiling sweetly from what used to be the garage . There 's another event in October called Antlerstock . I went back in 2012 and it was a blast - - two days of homesteading fun with a little something on every topic imaginable . Working on going back this year . If any of you don 't read Jenna 's blog , check out the link above . She 's a wonderwoman on a small scale , willing to tackle anything and always pushing to make her dreams a reality . As we all should . This ring just sold in my vintage Etsy shop . I thought you 'd all enjoy the story behind it . This ring came out of my great - aunt 's seemingly endless collection of jewelry . I remember liking to try this one on when I was little ; it was delicate , it was girly , it was pink . What can I say ? This was my first attempt at a First Friday event - - to get a good spot on a nice day , you have to get there in the mid afternoon . We set up at around 2 : 30 p . m . and there was a decent crowd all day , but at around 7 : 00 p . m . , it turned into madness . Crowds streaming up and down the sidewalk , trying to look at everything , blissfully ignoring the open container law ( which , like the parking laws , seems to not be enforced on First Friday ) and having a grand time . Personally , I was glad to be safe behind my table . I 've attended many a First Friday , and I likes a barrier , it keeps me from getting squashed . Also , the local news was there , taping background for the weekend weather forecast . The reporter talked to most of the vendors along our block , but somehow I ended up on the news . You can watch it here ( you just have to get through the forecast and chit - chat first ) . This is what happened to those Marilyn jeans . Actually , on closer inspection , they were Marilyn / Madonna jeans , which is possibly even cooler . I think the red satin lining suits either of them , don 't you ? I got two bags out of those jeans , this one with the original inside leg seam running down the center of the bag , and another one ( not photographed yet ) , with the faces appliqued to a base fabric and outlined in black suede . Lack of fabric just pushes me to try new things . Both these bags are sold . All was well until I took my chairs to the thrift store down the block and was talking to one of the employees . He kept turning away and laughing , and I finally asked what was wrong . He told me to go home and look in the mirror . Cleaning + sweating = dirt mustache . Think Marlboro man and you 're not far off . Several weeks ago , one of the attorneys found out that I made stuffed animals . She has a baby boy named Leo , who is about to have his first birthday in a few weeks . She asked if I made lions . Of course I do , I said , and promptly came home and dug through my sweater stash until I found one that looked appropriately lion - like . Obviously multi - stripes in tan , ivory , yellow , rust , blue and purple are lion colors , yes ? I thought so . I made his mane from two larger circles of rust colored t - shirt knit , cut and stretched so that it curled . I took it into the office today and handed it over , and her eyes just lit up . If little Leo likes it half as much as his mom , I 'll feel good . Posted by I had a show last Saturday . It was a beautiful day ; there were tons of people on the street ; very little money changed hands other than at the face - painting table . Normally I try not to shop while I 'm working . I certainly don 't let myself buy anything before I 've made enough money to cover my table fee . The vendor at the next table was selling clothing - - both her own work and boxes of used clothes in front of her table . All the used items were priced at $ 3 each . When she first put the boxes out , I saw fabric with faces on it - - a weakness of mine - - and I tried to ignore it . After a few customers had pawed through the boxes , the fabric was nearer the top , and I could see that the face was Marilyn Monroe . I gave up trying to ignore Marilyn , and went to see what the fabric was . Turns out it was a pair of stretch jeans , size 2 petite , in excellent but tiny condition . I told the vendor if no one purchased them by the end of the day , they were mine . Really . I had to buy them . Anyone who is a size 2 petite doesn 't need Marilyn Monroe jeans to make even more adorable . I 'm sorry if that 's sizeist , but there you have it . I made the world safe from Marilyn jeans , and tonight I took scissors to them . I 'm thinking that the class should be no more than 2 hours , and probably 90 minutes is safer . If there 's enough interest , there can always be another class . They only have one sewing machine available , but that 's okay - most of what I 'll be demonstrating and working with them to learn is hand sewing anyway . Though having a machine would be nice as far as explaining how to repair jeans - since everyone will wear through their jeans eventually . And yes , it can be done by hand , but if they have a machine available at home - and it still surprises me how many people have machines but no clue how to use them - this would be something to start with . Mending : the slippery slope to sewing . That 's how I 'm thinking of it . And if this place can 't come up with more sewing machines , well , I 'm getting a new ( old ) dining room table this weekend , and I do have a few ( ahem ) extra machines hanging around the house . My dining room is one of the nicest rooms in my house that gets almost no use . It may turn into the craft den yet . Edited to add this great article from the Guardian on the make and mend movement in Britain . Writer , packrat , cat lady , mad sewer , book hound and anything else you can think of that requires accumulation in numbers . I can 't remember a time when I didn 't make things . Now I 'm a recovering stasher belatedly discovering my sense of thrift . This is a chronicle of my journey to take my passion for refashioning and recycling and turn it into something more . . . and perhaps set me free from cubicle - land once and for all .
|
I read . I played with my dolls . I learned to sew to make clothes for my dolls . I redecorated , then rebuilt , my doll house . I read some more . I made up stories , and acted them out with my dolls ( it helped that , as an only child , I had a cast of thousands ) . I started writing down my stories . But writing fit . I could do it in my head , or after my mom went out and left me in peace , or after everyone went to bed . When I was bored at school , I could listen to the voices and run home and write down everything they said . When I started working , mindlessly typing for lawyers , I could plot and plan and scribble on bits of paper and then do my own typing at night . All this is leading to the fact that I write . I have always written . Other than this blog , which I started when my regular life was getting in the way of my writing ( and I wasn 't facing how much that bothered me ) , I haven 't said much about it in public . It was mine . It was something that kept me sane through a lot of unhappy teenage years and all the times when I just didn 't feel like I fit into my life . The life in my head , well , that always fit . Because I made it up . There was one particular project I started years ago . I wrote like a madwoman , researched , wrote some more . Put it down . Picked it up , got distracted , started dating , broke up , wrote my heart out , dealt with family stuff , changed jobs , more family stuff , changed another job , started dating again , got married - how did that happen ? - and eventually came back to what had come before and in between all along . And now , dear readers , I have what seems to be called a book . A novel , if you will . Tweaked and polished and pored over lo these many years . I 've let a few close friends read it to offer criticism and suggestions - and nearly expired in the process of handing my baby over - and now it 's ready to be released into a wider world . I feel sick to my stomach . It 's been mine for so long , but if it 's done , isn 't the whole point of a story to share it ? I recently finished a synopsis , because of course after you write an epic saga , you have to turn around and boil it back down to a couple of paragraphs , and I just started sending query letters to agents . All this makes me dizzy , but I 've done it . What 's the worst that can happen - that it 'll go back into a drawer ( or a hard drive ) for another life cycle ? It 's time to let go . The purple and gold ones are made from sweatshirt fabric ( left over from previous projects ) and the black and white one is made from a work skirt that I outgrew , I 'm embarrassed to say . Especially since I made said skirt to fit . And it did . The title of the post comes from something my mom used to say . I don 't know where it came from , but if that is indeed the case , then my mom was an elephant . She never forgot anything - - good , bad or indifferent , it was all stored up there to throw back at you later . Anyway , elephants . This series of projects started out as a pair of misbegotten pajama pants : drawstring / elastic waist , no pattern matching on the side seams . Elephants . I loved them on sight , though I knew I 'd never wear them . They 've been sitting on my sewing table for at least 6 months , and the other week I cut them up and stared at the pieces for a while . Obviously the biggest bits had to go for a dress - - some little girl ( or her mother ) is going to fall in love with that elephant print . I love that I didn 't have to add any embellishment . Realistically , what would have showed up beyond the print ? I was left with a pile of scraps . Scraps , in my world , now equal potholders . I managed to get 8 potholders out of the remnants , and I think they 're pretty cute . Five of them feature a good - sized elephant motif in the center , surrounded by black - and - white check and solid black fabrics , and the other 3 have the print interspersed with the other fabrics plus denim to match the back of the potholders . I don 't think these will last too long on the craft show table . Remember back in January , I mentioned that I was making a top for my friend , Maria Wulf , for her birthday , and that she would be sending me one of her wall hangings for my birthday ? Yeah , well , the gift exchange actually did happen . She got her top , and I got her wall hanging , and now , finally , months after the fact , I 've remembered to write about it . Yesterday I put the hanging up on the back of the door . It 's a white background , it 's high enough to be away from the cats , and I can see it from the machine . Works for me . Maria made this to my somewhat inexact specifications . I said that while I have a lot of cats , I generally don 't like cat kitsch . I have enough of the real ones that I don 't need cat knicknacks . But this was sort of for Lily . She 's the sewing room kitty , and I know she won 't be around forever , though hopefully she 'll hang on for a few more years at least . So I said that if she had any cats in her collection of vintage appliques , one for Lily would be good . I also said there were no color or print restrictions whatsoever - - I 've never met a color or a print I don 't like , and usually in combination . With that for guidelines , I think she did a stellar job , don 't you ? We stopped and visited with Maria last weekend when we were in NY for the goat workshop , and even though it was only a brief visit , it was great to talk to another fiber - oriented person about her obsessions , fabric and trim collection , pet her new sewing machine and see all of her current projects . Posted by I 've got a show tomorrow , and instead of just assuming I had it all together and getting there tomorrow to realize I 'd forgotten something - - again - - today I pulled everything out of the tubs and laid it out all over the dining room so I could actually see what I had . That 's the entire inventory right now . The table holds bears , stuffed animals and the new flat stuffed animals , a box of felt flower hair clips ( otherwise known as bait for little girls ) , and a stack of potholders . The tub on the floor is full of fringed t - shirt scarves , the chair has some bags ( quilt hobo / wristlet and clutch ) , and the chair back has the embroidered pillow covers . The other chair back is holding all the dresses . And now looking at it , I really need to get a tablecloth instead of using that old sheet on the dining room table . I just got a new / old table from my sister - in - law and I 'm trying to keep it from getting scratched , so that 's just a temporary fix . This past weekend we went to a workshop up at Cold Antler Farm in Cambridge , NY . The workshop was called " Goats and Soap , " and in addition to knowing I would enjoy it and really wanting a weekend out of the city , I had a theory : either this would totally get me over the idea of wanting goats or it would make it worse , but at least it would be an informed worse . I would know what it was that I couldn 't have in a city back yard , and why I wanted it . The goats were cute . The goats were friendly . The goats were freaking photogenic . The goats give milk , which makes soap and goat cheese . Think about having a source of goat cheese in your back yard . At the farm , we started out the morning by making goats milk soap . We did this first so it would ( hopefully ) have time to cure so we could take some home . That didn 't cooperate , but it doesn 't matter ; I know what we did and soap - making doesn 't seem so mysterious now , either . A handsome buck at Common Sense Farm While the soap was mixing , we talked about goats : how to keep them , what they were like , why Jenna wanted them in the first place . We got to meet her two goats , Bonnie and Ida ( her daughter ) . Bonnie is still giving milk , so Jenna started her off and then most of us took a shot . I got it on the first try ! We broke for lunch after that , and when we returned to the farm we piled into cars and drove down the road to Common Sense Farm . They have a fairly large goat dairy ( 20 + animals ) , and they make a lot of soap as well . We didn 't get to check out their soap operations , but we did get an exhaustive ( but fun ) lecture on goats from Yesheva which covered everything from cleaning and trimming hooves to milking to giving injections to how to deliver a kid , with stories interspersed and her six year old daughter diving in and out like a barn swallow , helping and chatting and picking up every cute baby animal within reach . After the conclusion of Goat 101 , we went upstairs in the barn to visit the hatchery , where they raise chickens , turkeys , ducks , pheasants and probably more . There was an enormous white peacock roosting in the barn rafters , tail drifting down like some bizarre feathered chandelier . Everything was spotless and smelled more like straw and wood shavings than birds , and it made me want to come home and clean the chicken coop . Common Sense Farm runs to about 200 acres , much of which is garden . On our way back to Cold Antler Farm , we took a tour of their vegetable gardens , which were enormous . They 're totally organic , so some of the weeds were pretty spectacular as well - - but as we were told , that is why you pay so much for organic produce , all that work has to be done without chemicals , so it 's a lot more labor intensive . It was such a nice day I considered volunteering to weed a row of carrots as a thank you for their hospitality , but I didn 't want to hold up the group . And I think Mario would have thought I 'd lost my mind . My main concern going up for the workshop was what he would think . I 'm happy outside , generally the dirtier the better , but he 's an indoor - at - the - desk - in - the - climate - control kind of guy . Nothing wrong with that , but I was afraid he 'd develop a severe allergy to all the nature he was about to encounter . And I don 't mean specifically grass and plants , but country , animals and a very different mindset than he 's used to . He came through it like a champ , though - - I shouldn 't have worried ; he 's interested in absolutely everything , even if it 's not something he wants to do . And he 's an information junkie , so Yesheva 's talk about goats really impressed him , he 's fascinated by anyone who has amassed a store of knowledge on any topic . And he milked a goat . And held a baby duck , courtesy of that same six - year - old girl . Chickens at Common Sense Farm And I think he understands the goat thing now . I don 't think he 'd want to live at Common Sense Farm , or even Cold Antler Farm , but if we ever get outside the city and have some more ground , he wouldn 't be surprised to find another half dozen or so chickens and a goat or two smiling sweetly from what used to be the garage . There 's another event in October called Antlerstock . I went back in 2012 and it was a blast - - two days of homesteading fun with a little something on every topic imaginable . Working on going back this year . If any of you don 't read Jenna 's blog , check out the link above . She 's a wonderwoman on a small scale , willing to tackle anything and always pushing to make her dreams a reality . As we all should . This ring just sold in my vintage Etsy shop . I thought you 'd all enjoy the story behind it . This ring came out of my great - aunt 's seemingly endless collection of jewelry . I remember liking to try this one on when I was little ; it was delicate , it was girly , it was pink . What can I say ? This was my first attempt at a First Friday event - - to get a good spot on a nice day , you have to get there in the mid afternoon . We set up at around 2 : 30 p . m . and there was a decent crowd all day , but at around 7 : 00 p . m . , it turned into madness . Crowds streaming up and down the sidewalk , trying to look at everything , blissfully ignoring the open container law ( which , like the parking laws , seems to not be enforced on First Friday ) and having a grand time . Personally , I was glad to be safe behind my table . I 've attended many a First Friday , and I likes a barrier , it keeps me from getting squashed . Also , the local news was there , taping background for the weekend weather forecast . The reporter talked to most of the vendors along our block , but somehow I ended up on the news . You can watch it here ( you just have to get through the forecast and chit - chat first ) . This is what happened to those Marilyn jeans . Actually , on closer inspection , they were Marilyn / Madonna jeans , which is possibly even cooler . I think the red satin lining suits either of them , don 't you ? I got two bags out of those jeans , this one with the original inside leg seam running down the center of the bag , and another one ( not photographed yet ) , with the faces appliqued to a base fabric and outlined in black suede . Lack of fabric just pushes me to try new things . Both these bags are sold . All was well until I took my chairs to the thrift store down the block and was talking to one of the employees . He kept turning away and laughing , and I finally asked what was wrong . He told me to go home and look in the mirror . Cleaning + sweating = dirt mustache . Think Marlboro man and you 're not far off . Several weeks ago , one of the attorneys found out that I made stuffed animals . She has a baby boy named Leo , who is about to have his first birthday in a few weeks . She asked if I made lions . Of course I do , I said , and promptly came home and dug through my sweater stash until I found one that looked appropriately lion - like . Obviously multi - stripes in tan , ivory , yellow , rust , blue and purple are lion colors , yes ? I thought so . I made his mane from two larger circles of rust colored t - shirt knit , cut and stretched so that it curled . I took it into the office today and handed it over , and her eyes just lit up . If little Leo likes it half as much as his mom , I 'll feel good . Posted by I had a show last Saturday . It was a beautiful day ; there were tons of people on the street ; very little money changed hands other than at the face - painting table . Normally I try not to shop while I 'm working . I certainly don 't let myself buy anything before I 've made enough money to cover my table fee . The vendor at the next table was selling clothing - - both her own work and boxes of used clothes in front of her table . All the used items were priced at $ 3 each . When she first put the boxes out , I saw fabric with faces on it - - a weakness of mine - - and I tried to ignore it . After a few customers had pawed through the boxes , the fabric was nearer the top , and I could see that the face was Marilyn Monroe . I gave up trying to ignore Marilyn , and went to see what the fabric was . Turns out it was a pair of stretch jeans , size 2 petite , in excellent but tiny condition . I told the vendor if no one purchased them by the end of the day , they were mine . Really . I had to buy them . Anyone who is a size 2 petite doesn 't need Marilyn Monroe jeans to make even more adorable . I 'm sorry if that 's sizeist , but there you have it . I made the world safe from Marilyn jeans , and tonight I took scissors to them . I 'm thinking that the class should be no more than 2 hours , and probably 90 minutes is safer . If there 's enough interest , there can always be another class . They only have one sewing machine available , but that 's okay - most of what I 'll be demonstrating and working with them to learn is hand sewing anyway . Though having a machine would be nice as far as explaining how to repair jeans - since everyone will wear through their jeans eventually . And yes , it can be done by hand , but if they have a machine available at home - and it still surprises me how many people have machines but no clue how to use them - this would be something to start with . Mending : the slippery slope to sewing . That 's how I 'm thinking of it . And if this place can 't come up with more sewing machines , well , I 'm getting a new ( old ) dining room table this weekend , and I do have a few ( ahem ) extra machines hanging around the house . My dining room is one of the nicest rooms in my house that gets almost no use . It may turn into the craft den yet . Edited to add this great article from the Guardian on the make and mend movement in Britain . Writer , packrat , cat lady , mad sewer , book hound and anything else you can think of that requires accumulation in numbers . I can 't remember a time when I didn 't make things . Now I 'm a recovering stasher belatedly discovering my sense of thrift . This is a chronicle of my journey to take my passion for refashioning and recycling and turn it into something more . . . and perhaps set me free from cubicle - land once and for all .
|
I 've started a blog explaining my disappearance a million times . I find myself getting irritated and walking away . In fact , I just listened to the podcast of the service that made me leave and I 'm angry all over again … Apparently , everything I ever do will be out of selfish ambitions ( Nearly verbatim what the pastor said . ) According to him , I am incapable of true love because I don 't believe in God . It 's one thing to say you shouldn 't love " this way " ( Same - sex marriage ) and a completely different thing to say you aren 't " capable " of truly loving anything . According to that service my love for my son has a selfish ulterior motive , my love for my husband has a selfish ulterior motive , my love for the rest of my family and friends has a selfish ulterior motive … Heck , there 's some warped selfish ulterior motive to loving my dogs ( Maybe it 's the urine pedicure my not - house - broken dog treats me to in the morning ) . After all of the incredible people I met , a statement like that really makes a person step back and think … All the smiles , the friendliness , the welcoming , the acceptance - Was it all an act ? Are they all just being fake ? I 'd say I loved going , but ya know , the pastor says I 'm not capable of it ( Can you read the irritation in that ? ) After that service I left just feeling like I had been conned . It was an uncalled for statement / tangent . It was self - aggrandizing . And quite frankly , I haven 't been able to find one other Christian person that stood behind that statement . We had a guest speaker this week , a Pastor nicknamed " The Dark Shepard . " He said when he was a kid he wanted to be a professional wrestler and that would 've been his name . Now , he 's still going by that nickname , but he 's " drop kicking demons " with the word of Jesus instead . So , the title of his sermon was Life Ain 't Fair . He said life isn 't fair because it 's so much better than death . He said you make more than 2 , 500 choices every day and you determine the quality of your life by those choices . This post won 't be long because I kind of internalized after his " announcement . " He said he was the victim of childhood sexual abuse . First , wow ! The nerve ( in a good way ) to say that in front of a congregation of people as a victim is incredible ! There 's so much stigma attached to being a victim of sexual abuse . It 's like you 're supposed to suffer in silence and no one can ever know it happened . Second , WOW ! Men in general don 't speak up about being the victim of sexual abuse . It 's not " manly " to be a victim , much less " manly " to be the victim of sexual abuse . So , really , kudos to the Pastor for sharing that . I cannot relate to a single syllable of that ! I was the victim of childhood sexual abuse . I didn 't get relief when he died . I had hoped for it so hard ! It happened , three days before it would 've been a year since it happened . He died of a heart attack on the way to the hospital . After that , took me a decade to confront my dad for having knowingly left me in the house of a pedophile . I didn 't talk to him at all for five of those years and to this day , there 's never been a more awkward moment for me than when I say " I love you , " when I get off the phone with him . My granddad is the reason I have so few friends I would actually fall back on should I ever reach for help . He was my " person " and he violated everything about that relationship . I engaged in self - harm for a long time . I had lost my person , I didn 't have anyone to confide in . No one to grieve losing my childhood innocence with . Around the same time I confronted my dad , I stopped self - harming . I was ready to face it all and I had found my " people " to do it with . How do you have some epiphany and you 're all healed from it ? ! The Pastor didn 't claim everything was better over night , but it was on it 's way . It took me a long time . Even then , when I spoke to my dad about it , I think there 's only ever been one other time when it 's been so satisfying to hear someone cry . To know that they 're hurting . It was satisfying to the core of my being ! I 'm unapologetic about that . Fourteen years later , I 'm not angry anymore . I don 't want to hear , nor make , anyone involved cry . I feel like I 've moved on from it , but a Godly intervention never came for me . It was a life lesson . It was just one stepping stone in learning to read through people . Indeed , the title of this service was " Survival Guide . " In the Associate Pastor 's Amazon search for survival guides he found : Zombie apocalypse survival guides , short term & long term wilderness survival guides , 101 hiding places ( A survival guide for hide and seek ? ) , and parenting . The CDC joined in on the whole zombie obsession and created a disaster preparedness page using the threat of an impending zombie apocalypse . http : / / www . cdc . gov / phpr / zombies . htm Of course , the service didn 't focus on any of the topics mentioned above . It focused on spiritual survival . It focused on giving you a list of things to remember when you 're trying to stay on the right path . As far as faith goes , the Pastor said that God works through relationships , the best example I can recall is that every person living is a product of a relationship ! God used your parents to bring you into this world . So , when you 're struggling , you should fall back on those relationships , God put them in your life for a reason . Isolation from your friends and support systems allows your fears to grow and warp . I 'm truly torn on the subject of friendship . There are friends and then there are friends . I know how stupid that sounds , but it 's how I see it . We can be friendly , hang out , the typical stuff friends do . Then there are friends . You can be next door neighbors or live hundreds of miles apart and they 're your rock ! My " fall back " people would probably be limited to my husband , a friend I 've known for 13 years , and my in - laws . In the end though , I 'm one of those " tough it out on my own " type people . I don 't like to rely on anyone else for support . I acknowledge that 's a defense mechanism , but I 'm not ready to remedy that . I thought the Pastor 's example for this was rather funny : A case of miscommunication about directions led to him and his wife bickering on their honeymoon . He said it got to the point where she was questioning his leadership abilities and he was questioning her submissive wife abilities . During all of this arguing , he noticed two toucans in the trees and declared that he couldn 't even enjoy them because he so angry ! They had forgotten the focus of their honeymoon , to enjoy each other 's company . I think I can identify with this the least . My name means " appearance of God . " How ironic . Oddly enough , my son 's name has a Godly definition , too . I 'd tell you , but I Googled it and it was the first result ! But seriously ! How does that happen ? I completely lack the ability to harbor faith and yet I was given a name meaning appearance of God ? ! This service referenced 1 Kings 19 : The main character in this story was Elijah . He prayed and God immediately answered him by lighting an alter on fire . Elijah continued to pray and a drought ended . Elijah later runs off to hide from the queen and God speaks directly to Elijah . Admittedly , such direct communication / contact doesn 't take faith to believe , but what I don 't understand is how people maintain faith in present day without ever having such a direct connection with God . That 's where I disconnect . I could believe if I had an interaction like that , I wouldn 't be left with much choice . The Bible is full of stories of people being commanded to do things and speaking with God directly . Yet , in today 's time , that doesn 't happen . Also , Happy belated Mother 's Day ! The service started out with parent and child dedications . I really don 't mean any offense , but it certainly was unnerving for me . I understand the premise of it . It wasn 't the intentions behind it that bothered me , but the actions to do it … The Pastor mentioned " laying hands " and asked everyone in attendance to reach out to the families as they were prayed over . Laying hands … It brought me back to my first time going and I wondered if one of the parents would start convulsing when the Pastor touched them . I really need to work on internalizing that this isn 't that sort of church , but when I hear " laying hands , " that 's the image that comes to mind . Barring my convoluted vision of what could happen , it was rather nice . It was a really nice thing for the church to offer for Mother 's Day . When my son was younger , this couldn 't have been more true . I think now it 's more along the lines of " I took a shower and didn 't rip out all of my hair . " He 's at an age where his questions never end and they 're seemingly always about what we 're going to do tomorrow , or for his next birthday , or next Halloween , or next Christmas … It 's never later today . I try to answer him , but I haven 't scheduled things out that far ! Ok , not all of service was dedicated to Mother 's Day , the Pastor did give a sermon ! It was based on Philippians 2 : 1 - 11 . He started , at least as far as my notes say ( I don 't know what 's going on with the podcasts , but they 're not available for me to refer back to , ) with Philippians 2 : 3 - 4 - Don 't be selfish ; don 't try to impress others . Be humble , thinking of others as better than yourselves . Don 't look out only for your own interests , but take an interest in others , too . I am selfish . I admit it . Especially with food and money . I 'm not entirely sure why I feel so aggressively possessive of my food , but I am . I irrationally angry when someone wants " a bite " or " a couple fries . " I got as much food as I wanted , not as much as I wanted and a few extra bites for you ! My issues surrounding money developed when I was with my ex - husband . I had to hide my money or he 'd take it and spend it on beer and strippers . Unfortunately , the urge to hide it and claim it as mine has lingered throughout the years . I want to work on it . I occasionally offer to share food , but it 's definitely a slow work in progress . Trying to impress others … No , I can 't see myself doing that . I don 't like other people enough to try and impress them . Maybe impress upon them a need to give me space . Attempting to impress others is a losing battle . You won 't win ! You 'll impress one person while other people will call you a fool . ALWAYS be the outcome . So , if you 're Christian , you 've got a book that lays out exactly how you can impress the single - most important being in your life . If you 're like me and don 't believe , impress the person looking back at you in the mirror . Don 't be Kanye … I mean , be humble . Kanye is the antonym of humble ! No one likes him . I don 't know if I 'm humble , I don 't think I 've ever really thought about it . Maybe I 'll ask people if they think I 'm humble and we can revisit this ! In general though , no one likes a narcissist . You 're not infallible , don 't try to convince people otherwise . Here is where it got funny ! ! ! I never thought I 'd ever hear an example quite like this in a church ! Taking an interest in others , too ! Farting on a plane was the Pastor 's example ! He admitted he understands why people fart on planes , the intestinal discomfort and what not , but then something atrocious happens … That smelly fart gets recycled through the air vents in the plane the rest of the flight ! He said he wouldn 't expect anyone to ride out the entire flight in agony to keep it in , he 'd simply ask that you go do it in the bathroom ( He specified the bathroom at the rear of the plane because it 's less likely to have a line . ) Taking an interest in others is a hard one for me . To be quite honest , I typically don 't . It actually started on a plane for me ! I breastfed my son for 14 months . I did it however I was comfortable ( With a blanket , without a blanket , " flop it out " , layered shirts , etc . ) . When my son was 10 months old I flew from New York to Florida . In attempt to think of the comfort of other passengers on the plain , I bought two small bottles of apple juice ( The kind in the itty bitty bottles that you can attach a bottle nipple to . ) I didn 't know if the seats around us would be booked or not and I didn 't want to turn the person seated next to me tomato red when I fed my son . TSA made me throw away the sealed bottles of apple juice ! I didn 't want to give my son apple juice with all the nasty additives ! I didn 't want to spend money on garbage when I produced enough to feed quintuplets ! No , I did it because I was being considerate of whomever might have been seated next to us and TSA made me throw away my attempt . Ever since then , I do what suits me . If the people around me are comfortable with it , cool . If not , I 'm not forcing you to be in my company . I know that sounds stupid and petty , but if you knew how much of a breastfeeding nut I am , you 'd understand why that one moment sticks out so much . Now then ! This post is nearly two weeks late , it 's after 1am , and my notes kind of dwindled after the airplane farting reference . Hint , hint : I 'm about to work on my post from the following week . Let 's see how much I ramble ! Total side note : I think I 'm going to specifically aim to put up a post on Mondays instead of Sundays . It 'll give me more time to reflect on the service and listen to the podcast of it if need be . Not to mention , I 've been late getting it up the last couple weeks . It just feels rushed trying to get it up on Sundays . Now a church related side note : The church was able to donate $ 5 , 000 to disaster relief in Nepal ! This goes back to the first evening meeting I wrote about and the margins the church runs within . They didn 't need to do a fundraiser or wait for enough money to be donated . The Pastor contacted a missionary he knows that is in Nepal , asked what they needed and cut the check ! I think it 's extraordinary that people have given so much to the church that they 're able to do participate in all of the organizations they 're involved with , support the church 's staff and events , drop $ 5 , 000 for disaster relief , and I 'm fairly certain they 're still capable of giving if someone comes up in need ! Generous hearts that attend the church and a wise money - management plan has set this church up for greatness . The Pastor continued the series on being weird . I have to admit , I was kind of dreading this service . He had mentioned that this one was going to be about " sexual impurities " ( Not his words , but you get the gist . ) I knew that would include two hot - button topics for me : Homosexuality and abstinence . I support all things gay related … Gay marriage , adoption , just being gay … All of it . It doesn 't personally affect me , I 'm not gay . Gay people getting married doesn 't negate the validity of my marriage and by all rationale , my marriage would be just as unholy ( 2 Corinthians 6 : 14 - 18 says so . ) If single parents can make up for their missing partner , then two of one gender can partner to raise children too . To my surprise ! The Pastor didn 't dwell on homosexuality . He mentioned it and moved on . I was surprised because when I was younger , I went to Ybor City a lot . The " curbside preachers " all had their best imitation of Westboro Baptist Church 's signs condemning gay people . The typical " Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve . " They were nasty people . They came out with their bullhorns to yell at people and condemn them all to hell . It 's the lack of condemnation that surprised me ! The Pastor 's tone is " This is a sin . You know it , I know it . It 's on you to see it and change your ways . " The other part I was dreading , abstinence … Not so much the theory of abstinence , but I think preaching and teaching abstinence are two different things . Preach abstinence as the ideal coarse of action , but teach safe sex . That 's a big one for me , because I believe whenever we make things taboo , they become a million times more desirable to those we 're trying to ward away from it . Otherwise , I 'm pretty onboard with what he was saying ! He offered some examples of how people wind up sinning . Some " normal " thought processes that make it easier . Everyone looks : Yep , a lot of people do . The Pastor noted that men look for physical things and women look for emotional things . Statistics back him up ! I 've always found that odd . I don 't believe in cheating . As soon as the thought to look elsewhere hits you , I think you should own it and see what needs to be fixed in your relationship . It 's such a downward spiral from there , that listing the other two " normal " thought processes separating doesn 't make sense to me . It goes from everyone looks , to I can 't help it , to at least I don 't act on it … And then you 're acting on it . All that looking and fantasizing about someone you think would be better ( i . e . Prettier , more emotionally available , more financially stable … ) when you should 've realized something needed to be fixed when that " greener pasture " first caught your attention . It seems like " everyone looks " for something better when it comes to everything . A better car , a better house , a better job , a better spouse , and a better lawn . Funny thing about always looking to " greener pastures , " sometimes it 's just green spray paint . I talked to a friend about this " greener pastures " thing and she nearly blew my eardrum laughing ! Her and her husband had been admiring a neighbor 's lawn . It 's always perfectly manicured and a brilliant green . Well , one day she was driving by when he was outside working on his yard . She stopped to ask him what he did to make his yard look so vibrant . His answer … The stuff he was sprinkling on the yard actually has green dye in it and he puts it on the grass when it 's about to rain so it soaks in and dyes the grass ! Not to brag or anything , but I 've got a pretty awesome friend and even though her and her husband are going up against a " cheater , " they 're working on their lawn the hard way . They 're going to make it truly healthy ! The Pastor found a startling statistic : 60 % of people will commit adultery by the age of 40 … So when you 're 40 and hanging out with your 40 year old friends , three out of five of them will have cheated on their spouse ! 100 % of those people started out just looking , because everyone looks … WARNING this post will contain information many may deem as too much information . I 've mentioned being an " open book " in the past and this post will undoubtedly prove my point . It will not contain graphic images , it 's not a " NSFW " post ! It 'll simply be a little more than you probably wanted to know about me . Onward ! So , I 've talked about arts and crafts that I 'm into and I 'm pretty sure I 've touched on the way that crafts plague my life . Well , this week has been an excellent example of it ! Once I get an idea of something to make , I can 't stop thinking about it until I 've done it … Thinking is an understatement , obsessing is more accurate . I get scatter - brained , I can 't sleep , I feel aimless . It 's horrible ! I 've had to take sleep aides to get some sleep when stuck in the cycle of obsession ! I tried multiple times to sit down and type out my blog for last Sunday . I 'd type , delete it all , type it another way and delete it again . I ended up going to JoAnn 's for the supplies to make what 's in my head instead of finishing the blog post . I simply couldn 't do it ! I 've stayed up until 4am carving or crocheted until my vision blurred . It 's not uncommon with crafts like carving , crocheting , or knitting that the reason I stopped and didn 't pick it back up for a couple days was because my hands were blistered and so sore I could wield the needed tools . I started sewing on Monday this week . I 've sewn everyday so far , including this morning . My neck and shoulders are screaming for a break , but I have 12 more things cut out and ready to be sewn ! I can 't stop now ! I think the only saving grace of my obsession is that I 'm good at it . The achilles heel of making it profitable , I can only make things based off of what pops into my head . I can 't muster the motivation to create someone else 's idea . The only time I 've sold something I made was a monkey I crocheted . It sat in the house for a few months , I showed a couple friends and one of them happened to want it . Now , my obsessive nature doesn 't stop with arts and crafts . I like to know things about everything . Not to say I 'm a know - it - all , but if a topic piques my interest , all bets are off ! I 'll be stuck researching it until I can 't find any new information on it . Hot topics I like to research off and on are medicine and law . I 'm a huge medical dork ! I should 've gone to school to be a doctor , but I was too busy sleeping in high school to achieve any grades worth noting . A quick note on my blog 's Facebook page noted that I 'm currently involving myself in the legal system . Pro - se is so overwhelming ! It 's worth the savings ! One lawyer told me his retainer is $ 3 , 500 and he 's $ 385 / hr ! To top off his outrageous pricing , he also flat out admitted to being inexperienced in the field of law I would 've been using him for ! All of this culminates into my current project ! ( This is also the TMI part , if you 're looking to skip out on that ! ) RUMPS or reusable menstrual products . How many noses scrunched up at the thought of that ? Let me ' splain ! So , this is inevitably going to end up being a sort of " lesson " on RUMPS and an explanation on how they came to my attention or became the object of my current obsession . I was originally introduced to Soft Cups , they 're disposable menstrual cups and readily available at Walgreen 's ( Some other stores too , but I don 't know which ones ! ) A friend told me how much less she cramped while using them . < - THAT was the spark that ignited my obsession ! Of course , I went straight to the store and got some ! Now I feel like I 've been menstruating wrong for over a decade ! From there I looked into reusable menstrual cups . If I 'm dumping tampons , why not look for a way where I won 't have to buy another menstrual product for at least another decade ? Ok , I got my hands on reusable menstrual cups … Now , I know every single lady reading this right now knows about leaks ! All of you ! If you 're denying it , you 're lying ! I was determined to fully kick the menstrual product industry to the curb , including panty liners ! Thus , I present to you , the panty liners I 've been making this week ! I am no longer contributing to a multi - billion dollar industry that isn 't really interested in the innovation of feminine hygiene products . Not to mention , no risk of TSS ( You know you 've read the tampon insert , everyone has when stranded in the bathroom with nothing to read ! ) , saving about $ 120 / yr ( That doesn 't sound like much , but over the last 16 years , that 's nearly $ 2 , 000 I could 've spent on something more worthwhile ) , and last , but certainly not least … Feminine hygiene product manufacturers use " trade secrets " as a means to not disclose what 's actually in their products . Look at your box of tampons or pads , it doesn 't tell you what it 's made of . I 'm fairly disappointed in myself for having not noticed before , but it 's what I 've known all this time . There wasn 't an alternative that I knew of . You check the ingredients in your food , your pet 's food , what materials your clothing is made out of , your hair products … But not something worn in such an intimate place ? I 'm not satisfied with not knowing , so I 've made the switch . So , I started a rough draft on paper for the first time . I was thinking about the service and was pretty convinced it followed the service from last Sunday pretty closely . The more I wrote and referenced my notes , the more I realized I was wrong . Now my paper rough draft is pretty much trash . I guess I do my best work on the fly ! Last week focused on why normal isn 't working and how what society perceives as weird is what we should be doing . Biblically speaking , it focused on society being on the wide road to destruction and those who are doing right , or what 's considered weird , are on a narrow path to life . ( Matthew 7 : 13 - 14 ) This week focused on our interactions with those around us . Our desire for approval from others and their reactions tempting us away from the " narrow path . " I believe it was one of the first things the Pastor said and I like it a lot : Stop living to please people . He referenced Proverbs 29 : 25 which says " Fearing people is a dangerous trap , but trusting the Lord means safety . " At least my Bible says that , I have a NLV Bible , there 's no thous and heretos . I stopped living to please other people a long time ago . By a long time I mean eight years ago . Well , in August it 'll be eight years . Funny how I can put an exact timestamp on when it happened . I suppose the story of how it happened is better left for another day to keep myself from going off on a tangent . Anywho ! The Pastor had the perfect example for why you shouldn 't live to please people , follow what 's trending on Twitter . It changes so often , you 'd barely be acceptable at doing whatever is trending before it changed to something else . Of course , you 'll also have to remember that for everything trending , there 's also a group of people who absolutely loathe whatever it is . A couple personal examples of my inability to please everyone : Some Christians , upon finding out I don 't believe , like to tell me exactly where I 'm going . Some Atheists , upon finding out I go to church and support my son 's faith , like to tell me I 'm allowing people to brainwash my kid . I get it about how I raise my son in general , too . He has a bedtime , I don 't let him watch TV ( Although he likes to go to friends ' houses to sneak in some TV , ) I don 't let him go wherever he wants and he rarely eats candy ( I sacrifice myself and eat 98 % of his holiday candy . ) My mother - in - law is great about it all ! He has fun with her while still maintaining an acceptable weekend bedtime , he doesn 't watch disgusting cartoons ( i . e . Uncle Grandpa , Adventure Time , SpongeBob , ) and while she occasionally gives him candy , he primarily eats healthy food at her house . She thinks it 's great ! He 's pretty well - behaved for an eight year old . My mother , that 's another story ! She 'd let him stay up until he dropped from exhaustion , watch TV until his eyeballs fell out of his head , and stuff himself with disgusting " food " until he looked like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka if I let him visit her ! She thinks I 'm too strict , I should let her be the wild and fun , no rules grandma she wants to be . I 'm okay with whomever might have a problem with the way I raise my son . You 're not the one who will stand up later on in life and claim the responsibility for having raised him . You 're not the person who will have to harbor the guilt and the what ifs if he grows up to be a bad person . I 'm doing my best to raise a man who will positively impact the world around him and that 's all that matters . I think a good question for people pleasers is : Why let others be the appraiser on the value of your life ? They 're not living in your shoes , don 't let them set the bar for how comfortable it is to walk in them . If you believe , and as the Pastor said , you 're the one who will have to stand on judgement day and answer for the life you lived . Are you comfortable being judged for the things you 've done to please other people ? Even if you don 't believe , you 're the one who is going to have to lay down every night and go to sleep with the memories of what you 've done . Can you sleep at night knowing what you 've done to please other people ? Another thing he said was , " Don 't worry when people criticize you , worry when they don 't , because you 're fitting in too well . " That 's a powerful statement , I think you should take moment and read it again . It 's ok , I 'll wait …………………… . Did you read it again ? Let that sink in ? Do you do things differently enough that people criticize you ? I also don 't think it has to be taken literally , people don 't need to openly criticize you for it to apply . People will hide things they 're doing from you when they know you don 't agree with their idea of what 's acceptable . It 's passive aggressive criticism . Whether it 's open or passive aggressive , it 's ok . It could even be described as good . That means you 're doing something right that they aren 't willing to do . I think that 's the motive for the criticism : You 're accomplishing something they weren 't / aren 't willing to put in the effort to accomplish . While I typically don 't fit in , it 's admittedly not always because of my " superior " moral code . I 've shaved my head , I have lots of tattoos and piercings , and I 've been known to have a foul mouth … The good I 've done in this world outside of my family is pretty limited to giving what cash I can to the homeless and helping dogs as much as I can . I 'd like to think I have a higher standard for how I think I and those around me should behave , but I couldn 't definitively tell you . I 'm kind of a recluse . I don 't like people in general . I suppose I 'm jaded , but I expect everyone to have an ulterior motive . I 'd rather watch people than interact with them . I haven 't decided if I 'm going to stray and post some kind of mid - week blog about me in particular or if I 'll simply elaborate on my " author 's page " to possibly address my lack of fondness for people . Create a free website or blog at WordPress . com . • Atheist Mom in a Faithful Family Create a free website or blog at WordPress . com . Post to
|
So today at weigh in , I was down 1 . 6 lbs . I told my leader that I was leaving Weight Watchers because my pounds lost per dollar ratio is too low , that something in the mechanics of Weight Watchers right now is demotivating to me . She and I sat down and are working on a way I might be able to stay in a losing mode with Weight Watchers . I know that it 's a program that works for a lot of people , but for me , I have an intensely difficult time staying ON program . This hasn 't always been the case . In 2003 , I lost weight very quickly and very easily with Weight Watchers . I was never not on program . I excelled at making the program fit my life and making my life fit the program . I 'd get to the end of my point range and just stop . It was like an invisible line . I ended most weeks with more than 30 points in the bank because of activity . I lost more than 60 lbs from February to October , when I made lifetime . Now , I 've lost 3 lbs in almost a year . I need to do something . My son , lately , has been making remarks about my size . He mentioned today that I am ' very round ' My feelings are hurt by this . I mean he 's only four and I am trying to teach him that it isn 't nice to comment on people 's sizes , but he hasn 't figured it out yet . I 'd really wanted to have this weight problem resolved before he got to the Fat Mom noticing stage and I am just unbearably sad . I feel like a failure . I know that Aimee is going to have something to say about that : ) . I just need to get the hurt and sad and channel it into a positive change for me . My resolve is strong . Deven put some corn in the cup and used the wheel to send it over to the goats . This goat couldn 't get on top of this rock fast enough to get the corn we were offering . I wished I 'd taken pictures of the other Pecks . They have several deer and I was able to hand feed them and some lambs . Everyone was so sweet and soft . Can 't I just move to the country and take care of wildlife all of the time ? Today is a beautiful fall day . Raj , Deven and I got in to the car and went downtown . Once there , we bought some cheesebread and sat in the sun , enjoying every bite . The coming weekend is busy in a very pleasant way . We usually go to the farmer 's market on Saturday mornings . We might still do that . We are planning to go to Pecks Farm Market , pet some animals , feed some other animals , just hang out and absorb nature . I am going to try to get some pictures of myself and my family . If I get any that aren 't horrific , I will share them . I will also be taking the dog for a run at some point on Saturday . It 's Couch to Five K week 6 day 1 . My recollection of this run previously is that it is deceptively hard . I know I can do it , though . I am tooooough . We need to clean the house desperately . Raj is getting my cold , it seems , so we might be low key . Deven and I will be doing at least one baking project . We will be planning our meals around stuff that is on hand , so all really really need to buy is veggies and some milk . I am trying to step down my ( insanely high ) fruit sugar consumption , so I will be doing more snacks like celery with laughing cow ( YUM ) and carrots with peanut butter . More eggs for breakfast for the protein punch without the relatively high calories in Overnight Oats . On Sunday , I have Weight Watchers - I have about 4 meetings left until my paid subscription expires . I am not working WW right now , just my fitness pal , but I am still going to weigh in at meetings until my subscription runs out . After that , I am going to be taking the dog for a very long walk ( at least 4 - 5 miles ) and listen to podcats and make note of the day . I also want to take Deven to the movies - the cheap theater has Ice Age and I want him to be more used to being at the movies and relaxing and watching quietly . Anyway , the whole time , I will be logging my calories with My Fitness Pal and staying on track and blogging here . Clawing my way back on track , taking one more step to being the best possible version of me . To setting a positive example for my son . To fitting in all of my cute , prepregnancy clothes . I 've got this . This cold has been kicking my ass hard . I put off my Week 5 Day 3 run for quite some time . But then I decided it was time to just do it . My chest is still heavy , my cough is still intense , but I came home from work , put on my sports bra , laced up my running shoes and grabbed my phone , I turned on the podcast and hit the sidewalks with my trusty puppy . The first few feet were rough . The dog was spazzy and had to be talked to and I 'm the kind of runner that has to count steps and breaths , to be honest . Without the count , I don 't really have the lung capacity to run . I can 't run with chatty friends . If I do , I will be walking within a mile . With the cold , I REALLY had to focus on keeping my breathing controlled . I was tired , dude . I mean tired before I left the house . I just kept putting one foot in front of the other . Just kept counting one - two - three - four in and one - two - three - four out . My podcast advised I had gone 5 minutes and I thought , " What ? Already ? " I had hit a pretty decent stride and was eager to just keep running . Then she announced ten minutes and I thought , " You know what ? I can do this ! " Then my dog saw my neighbor 's dog . And my neighbor 's dog ( Blitzen ) is a badass . A German Shepard that doesn 't much care for other dogs . ( understatement ) So Blitzen starts barking his head off , Conner starts acting like an idiot , lunging for Blitzen and I am trying to pull my poor dog across the street with a car coming because I don 't feel like burying my dog today after Blitzen rips his freaking head off . OF COURSE I forget to count . And I turn on the afterburner and I sprint like two blocks to get the hell away from them . The Blitzen has already forgotten about Conner and is barking at another neighborhood dog , but Conner is trying to rip my arm off to get to all the spots where Blitzen might have peed . HELLO ? I AM RUNNING HERE , JACKASS . Anyway , with the sprinting , the idiot dog , the psychopath dog , etc , I ended up really burning up a lot of my energy and my breathing was really labored . The podcast announces that I have 5 minutes to go . Shit . I can 't breathe . How am I going to make it five more minutes ? I slow down a little . I make myself pick my feet up a little higher . I take note of a pain in my low back on the right . I focus for a minute on my posture , check out my shadow , notice I am slouching . Berate myself for sucky posture . Advise myself that that isn 't hePosted by I 'm on my second day of relying only on My Fitness Pal . I have a couple of friends that are using this as a way to track their intake , plus one of my readers tracks her food there . If you are also using My Fitness Pal - Feel free to friend me . I am emilythegood there : ) Some things I really like about My Fitness Pal - * The mobile app . SOOOO much stronger than the very terrible Droid version of the Weight Watchers app * The dashboard . I love being able to see what my friends are up to at a glance . I also love that it lets my friends know when I haven 't been on for a while and encourages them to send me encouragement . * It also provides a forum for me to encourage my friends and family . * It lets me decide which nutrients I think are important to track . I 'm taking a run at reducing my sugar . I don 't have any sugar problems , per se , but I feel like even for fruit sugars , I probably eat far more than is reasonable . * It 's free * HUGE database * no huge pile of bonus calories that I feel obligated to burn throughSome things I am on the fence about - * No meetings . I am hoping that the dashboard feature kind of acts like a meeting but we will see . * I kind of think the recipe section sucks . That 's really it . I am feeling good ( ish ) I 'm counting my calories , taking it day by day . I am still fighting this chest cold , but I think I am going to resume my run training as I really want to run a good portion of Color Me Rad . I can 't wait to write reviews of that event . This coming weekend , I have no events , but on Saturday , 10 / 6 I am doing the Des Moines Get Your Rear In Gear event . This is a really important event for me , because my sister in law lives in central Iowa and is a Stage IV Colon Cancer Survivor . On 10 / 13 , I have Color Me Rad . On 10 / 14 I have the Autism walk . My collection of events this year is largely walks . This is by design because I am not in run shape , but I need to get into run shape , because my high school friend , Cherie , said she wants to run a half marathon with me . I have A LOT of training to get there , but I think I can . I Posted by I feel like Weight Watchers isn 't working FOR ME . I feel like it 's a really great program for a lot of people , but as someone who has used various iterations of Weight Watchers over the years , it just doesn 't work for me . I lost my weight originally on 1 - 2 - 3 Success - which was a points range and you could bank your points to go over , but not more than 10 in a day . Fruit cost . While WW is the way it is , I can 't keep paying for a monthly pass and struggling . I just can 't . My pound for pound challenge is completely over . Know why ? Because I have lost 2 lbs this year so far . Less than , really . I 'm starting almost from scratch . I 've cancelled my monthly pass at Weight Watchers . I will keep going to meetings until the end , but I just need to change my focus , because whatever I am doing right now isn 't working for me . I am not going to do anything radical . I am going to count calories at myfitnesspal . com . I am going to keep exercising . I have already challenged my husband to get in shape and be my support group . I can do this . I CAN . esterday at weigh in , I was up another 1 lb , so now it is do or die time . I 've been spending a lot of time being mad at Weight Watchers , but the fact is , WEIGHT WATCHERS isn 't the problem here . It 's me . It 's always been me , no matter what program I am using . If you 've taken part in FMM then you know the rules . If you 're new , please take a moment to answer this week 's question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section over at : www . alltheweigh . com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers . Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen . The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts . Now it 's time for this week 's topic ! Fall Favorites1 . What is your favorite thing about this time of year ? I love the weather , the fall leaves , the apple cider , the pumpkin flavored things , Halloween , going to fall festivals . I guess if I had to choose just one , I would say the time with my family at pumpkin patches . 2 . What do you hope to do again before Summer is officially over ? Well , it 's been fall for two days now , but I 'd love to get myself back on track and finish the couch to 5K program before snow falls . 3 . When did you last go on a hay ride ? Last year , at a fall festival . 4 . What is your favorite pumpkin dish ? Pumpkin spice cupcakes or pumpkin pie , probably . 5 . Do you decorate your home for fall ? I am not much for a seasonal decorator . For fall , we will carve some pumpkins and maybe put some spider webs up at Halloween . 6 . Do you have any hobbies that are seasonally specific ? I knit more in the fall and winter , but I do that year round . In the fall I am far more likely to take a nature hike . 7 . Apple cider or hot chocolate ? Apple cider , please . 8 . Are you a fan of football ? Yes . Go BUCKY ! Wisconsin football . If I had to choose a professional team , I would pick the Seahawks , primarily because they have Russell Wilson , quarterback for Wisconsin last season . 9 . ShPosted by I 've been feeling sick . My cold has settled into my chest and my chest feels very heavy . I had a run scheduled tonight , but I was going to skip it . I was going to just walk tonight and run tomorrow . But when I got home , I went to the rest room and found myself putting on my running gear . To be honest , I 've been making excuses for not running all week . But all week I 've been pushing past my excuses and doing what needs to be done . I decided that I would just listen to my body . I ran and counted my breaths and listened to my podcast and did what I was told . Crazy Conner had to poop in the middle of run one ( actually with about 90 seconds to go in the run , ) I stopped to pick up his poop and was on my way again . I did my cool down walk and picked back up when my podcast said to . I ran , I counted breaths , I did my thing . I got a good cough going at about 4 minutes , but I kept running . My podcast announced one minute to go . It was a hard minute . But still I ran . I picked my knees up a little higher . I pushed a little harder . And it was time to walk . I did it . Even though I didn 't want to . I used a good number of extra points today . That 's ok . I had them to use . I 'm pleased with my day overall . I needed the fuel today . I think this is a healthy way of looking at everything right now . I 'm grateful for everyone 's support and wisdom . I feel inspired to be better because of you all . And that 's the whole point of this blog . I hope you all had a great day ! Best , Emily Had a rough day yesterday . Busy and stressful at work and then irritated my husband while recapping a coworker who had been out of the office . Fortunately , my friend and I had a walking plan for yesterday . My puppy and I got in the car and went to her apartment and we went on a four mile walk . We both had plenty to vent about , so the walk went by quickly . I got home and baked brownies with Deven . Dev is always very excited to help me in the kitchen , so I try to do a cooking or baking project with him often . After we got everything in the oven , I sat down and cuddled with the maniac , reading him two chapters of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory . I did end up using bout 8 extra points , but it was worth it . Those 8 points bought me a couple of buffalo wing wheat thins , one peanut butter kiss ( black or orange wrapped peanut butter taffy ! ) one Nature Valley Dark Chocolate granola thin and one reduced guilt brownie . I made sure that I wasn 't responding emotionally while eating those things . I came home from a stressful day and made the right choice by walking with my friend after a very healthy dinner . I still have about half of my extra points . Tonight I need to run Week 5 day 2 of C25k . This will be an 8 minute run , a 5 minute walk and another 8 minute run . I feel confident I can do this , but I also know that I will have an extra challenge because I am getting a pretty nasty cold . I will just listen to my body and do what I can . What do you have planned that is positive for you today ? Left me feeling really empowered . I went out with the dumb dog and pushed . It was 3 five minute runs with three minute walks in between . It actually went really easy . It was my first run with the dog since his accident so I was really worried that he would start limping during the run , but he was super happy to be out . All told , I did my short run and that 15 minute cardio work out plus got all my good health guidelines in . Not bad . Not bad at all . Today , I started my day with some overnight oats . I have a healthy lunch packed . Same dinner as last night . Doing well with all of my good health guidelines . Just making one good choice at a time , trying to forgive myself for any bad choices . YES I CAN . Hope you are all doing great , too . Best , Emily I have a different philosophy about Sunday . On Sunday , I relax the whole plan , but I do have to document my food . I don 't do formal exercise , but I do have to stay active . Yesterday morning , I got up , went to Weight Watchers , got my head screwed on straight again and came home . I played a video game with Dev and Raj for a while and we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch . I always get the same thing , the Taco Loco ( made vegetarian ) It 's kind of like a taco salad . It has beans , lettuce , fajita veg , pico de gallo , a smattering of cheese some sour cream , radishes and green olives - all in a spinach tortilla . I never know how to count it , so I always count it like a taco salad . ( about 17 - 18 points ) I also carefully counted out my 16 chips and put them on the napkin so that I knew that was my serving of chips and I got no additional chips . After that , we ran home and dropped off our leftovers , pat the dog on the head and headed down town to a street festival . We parked near a park , so we let Deven play on the play structure for a while . We walked around , bought a comic book for Deven , watched a children 's band play a couple of songs , watched a couple of guys blow glass and headed back to the park to play for a while longer . Then we went on home . We were all hungry , so I popped some popcorn . I topped it with olive oil and sea salt and had a glass of milk to round out my good health guidelines for the day . For dinner , Raj and Deven ate some gross thing with hot dogs : ( and I ate a stir fry of veggie crumbles and stir fry veg . I also had a chocolate pudding with some pineapple and had a couple of pumpkin beers to round out the day . I was still marginally hungry for some reason , but I chocked that up to the kind of residual hunger I always have after days of binging . I ignored it and drank a bit more water . I used 14 extra points yesterday . I typically do this on Sunday . I aim to use no more of them this week , but might end up doing it , as I endeavor to finally start using my good health guidelines to my advantPosted by I 'm in a huge binge cycle . I am more than 60 points in the negative . I 'm not happy with myself at all . I need to stop it . So for right now , I am going to just go back to the easy goals , except one thing . I have to drink my milks and eat my oils and work those in . Maybe that will help with satiety . I have got to stop veering off course at every turn . I need to just live this plan . I don 't know why I insist in viewing this like a diet when really it 's how I should be living . REMEMBER THIS EMILY . It 's not a diet . It 's just a healthful way of living . Also . oppressive headache today . It 's not my favorite . I will try to post more here . Maybe that will help keep me on track . . Posted by Last week was stress eating . This week was celebration eating . OH HAI EMILY . You don 't have to celebrate with food . This week , if I track all of my points , stay within my dailies + weeklies , DRINK MY MILK EVERY DAY and exercise at least 4 times , I can buy a nail polish . It 's time I started working on my good health guidelines . Stress eating plus class reunion took its toll and I was up 5 . 8 pounds . I 've been back in Weight Watchers two months shy of a year and I am down about 1 . 2 lbs . Total . I can 't fault Weight Watchers , though . Not really . I 'm not staying on my program very well . I need to get myself together , because I really really want to change . Now it 's time for the fun stuff . FMM ! If you 've taken part in FMM then you know the rules . If you 're new , please take a moment to answer this week 's question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section over at : www . alltheweigh . com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers . Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen . The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts . Now it 's time for this week 's topic ! Have You Ever ? 1 . Jumped out of an airplane ? No . That 's always seemed like something I would like to do , but then I remember that I pee a little walking across a bridge . I am a big fraidy . 2 . Lived alone ? I have . 3 . Met a celebrity ? Local celebrities , sure . Otherwise , nope . 4 . Said something to someone that you immediately regret saying ? Do you mean today ? No . Otherwise , nearly every day . 5 . Had a manicure / pedicure ? I get manicures infrequently but pedis about every two months . 6 . Gotten a hickey ? I have , sadly . 7 . Owned a pet that was not a dog or a cat ? I used to have a pet rat . Her name was Jezebel . She had the cute . 8 . Been outside of your home country ? No . : ( 9 . Kissed your best friend ? Yep . I married him , too . 10 . Eaten food that fell on the floor ? Yep . I am the mayor of the five second rule . 11 . Met someone online ? Yes . I married him . 12 . Been on TV ? Yep . 13 . Had braces ? No . My teeth are pretty straight but I have lots of gaps , so I would like to get them , but it 's never been a priority , financially . 14 . Gone skinny dipping ? I have not . 15 . Been to the opera ? I 've been to two different operas . I saw La Traviata twice . Once at LincPosted by Today 's weigh in is going to be terrible . I had an extremely stressful week this week and I didn 't cope well , at all . I was already up from my class reunion but then the bad news hit . My sister 's marriage took a bad turn and she and her husband decided to separate . She 's been with him since she was 18 years old . She has three kids , including one that just turned one . She 's devastated and I 'm 6 hours away . I felt helpless , so OF COURSE I binged . Blah . Then on Thursday , I was walking my dog . We were about an mile from home . My dog 's collar popped open . He realized he was free and ran like an idiot . First he ran through some yards . I called for him , but his training just left him . Then he ran into the street . A busy street . He missed two cars and a third car was slowing to a stop but rolled over his paw . He cried out and his fur was flying . Unfortunately , it came to rest on his paw and he scraped himself badly on three of his paws trying to free himself . He ran back across the street to me and held his paw up , crying the whole time . He was shaking and scared . I was sobbing . Since we were more than a mile away from home , I was trying to figure out a good way to bring my 55 lb dog home . Fortunately , a kind passerby stopped , asked where our vet was and offered us a ride . I called my husband to alert our vet that we were on our way . He called the vet and the vet said go to the emergency vet . So we went there and would you believe the stupid dog was bearing weight on his paw and was dancing around like an idiot . If it wasn 't for the bleeding , you would have never known that something happened to him . Shocking . We got in for an exam and it was found that he had broken a small non weight bearing bone in his paw . His wounds needed attending too . He needed anti - inflammatory medication and antibiotic and has to wear a cone of shame . He was so lucky , but the image of that won 't leave my head . I am so sad he had to go through that . So , I 've been stress eating . I predict I will be up at least 5 - 6 lbs . * sigh * I went to Iowa for my 20 year class reunion last weekend . I really enjoyed myself but somehow came home 7 lbs up . I am seriously not sure , because there was very little vegetarian food around . Right now , I am about 4 lbs up . Disappointing how fast I gain and how slowly I lose . Whatever , I will just soldier on . I 've been really stressed lately . My sister is going through some stuff and here I am in Wisconsin , not down there helping her out . I don 't know what help I could actually be , but I am sure moral support would be helpful . I will just call her a lot and hope that she keeps on soldiering on . I haven 't had a bunch to say lately . I 'm here , doing what I need to do , but am not terrifically exciting lately . I 've been doing Couch to 5K . I just finished week 5 . Things are about to get real . I can do it ! I recently received a campaign from Bzz Agent to try UNREAL Candy . My BzzKit contained one coupon for a free Unreal Candy item along with several buy one / get one free coupons . Let me know if you 'd like a buy one / get one free coupon . I 'd be happy to mail one off to you so that you could try it out , too . I tried three varieties . Each that I tried had 5 WW Points Plus value for the entire package ( a pretty normal serving size ) I will share my feelings about each that I tried separately . The first one I tried is my favorite . UNREAL 77 ( Peanut Butter Cups ) These taste great . They have that legendary combination of chocolate and peanut butter with a lot less cloying sweetness of the usual brand . I love that they don 't have hydrogenated oils , corn syrup , or artificals . The verdict on this one : CRAVEABLE . Loved it . 10 / 10 would eat again : ) The next one I tried is UNREAL 54 . ( Candy Coated Chocolates with Peanuts ) Let 's face it . It 's fun to eat colorful chocolates . These look great , but taste good but not great . I don 't know that I would go out of my way to get this one again , but I love that they contain none of the garbage that other commercially produced candies tend to have on board . If I were to have a chocolate covered peanut candy , this is the one I would go for over the other brand . In fairness , this is not the kind of candy that I would typically reach for in any circumstance . The last one I tried is Unreal 41 ( Coated chocolate pieces ) . These taste ok , but I can tell you I wouldn 't buy this one again . As a long time Weight Watcher , I try to make sure my indulgences count , so I would definitely roll for something that I find craveable . ( I am looking at you UNREAL 77 ) I think the thing here is that it 's less sweet than the brand of colorful chocolate pieces and with my palate being used to such extreme sweetness , it just rang off . I don 't think there is anything wrong with the candy , per se , more wrong with me . I liked the peanut variety better , probably because there was a second dimension , some crunch and that peanut Posted by Wife , mother , knitter , insurance nerd . Trying to learn how to spin fantastic , usable yarn . I 'm constantly trying to better myself . I go on about that a lot . Also , there will probably be whining . Lots of it .
|
Happy Boxing Day ! I hope you are enjoying this day after Christmas as much as we are . So far it has been a beautiful , relaxing day here . I thought I 'd post some pictures , most I 've published already on Instagram and Facebook but I have family who aren 't on Facebook who I know would like to see pictures of our kids - so here goes : My mom visited a couple weeks ago , bringing presents . One of the family 's favorite was this mini etch - a - sketch . Beth figured out how to write out " Hi ! " My mom taught me how to crochet a hat . My mom also brought some games from my Grandma 's house - just in time for winter break ! Here is Eli with his Etch - a - Sketch . The boys were given plastic toy guns for Christmas . They played with them on and off pretty much all day long . Katie - AbigailEmmaBethJosiah Emma got a baseball glove for Christmas . She plays catch with her Dad a lot and was really excited about having her own glove . Emma & Katie were twinning at Christmas . They are nearly the same size again ! Thei hair is the same length too so we get asked if they are twins a lot . Josiah got a video game for Christmas so the boys played that for a bit . They really like their Lego Movie game . Emma loves her stuffed animal . We went to the park today so that Josiah could ride his scooter . While we were there Eli & Emma climbed the rocks . Merry Christmas from our family to yours . I wrote this last week when we were sick and just now have a few minutes to add the pictures . So here you go , some of my Christmas ( ish ) movies to watch this week . . . At my house right now we are all pretty sick . Katie - Abigail has this weird virus that has a fever , a caugh plus achy red eyes . Everyone else has fevers and caughs . I spent a day feeling miserable . So we have been spending a lot of time on the couch and we have been watching movies . Some of the movies we 've been watching get a huge eye - roll from me , especially some of the Christmas movies the kids found on Netflix , but here are a few I love . Tonight we watched Sleepless in Seattle . This is one of my all - time top - ten favorite movies . It 's not exactly a Christmas movie , but it takes place between Christmas and Valentines Day and stars Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan . Watching this again made me so happy ( though there was some inappropriate dialogue between the boy & his dad while they are brushing their teeth , watching it with my kids that was definitely a fast - forward moment ) I read in the notes to the soundtrack that the director took great pains to give this movie a classic , timeless feel . The music is great . . . ( Hmmm I think I have the soundtrack somewhere on CD . I wonder where that is ? ) I just love Annie 's character and the scene where Sam is describing his wife ( who has died ) is one of my all - time favorite movie scenes ever . The technology is crazy - outdated ( no cell phones . no email . basically no internet ) and that was fun to see . The Bishop 's Wife is an old black and white that might be even better than It 's a Wonderful Life it 's romantic and sweet all about the true meaning of Christmas without being extraordinarily religious . This movie was re - made delightfully with Whitney Houston and Denzel Washington in The Preacher 's Wife . It 's a fun Christmas movie with great music and a good message . Another movie starring Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan takes place from Septmeber to Spring is You 've Got Mail so again , it 's not exactly a Christmas movie but it 's one I love to watch this time of year . There 's a fast - forward moment when Meg Ryan 's character is talking to her sales associate about how she met Tom Hanks ' character in a chat room , but overall it 's another great movie with a great soundtrack . I love the sweetness of the book store , the moments when they are writing their emails - so many quotable lines in this movie ! Another not - exactly Christmas movie that I have loved forever is While You Were Sleeping it takes place from Christmas Eve to New Years . It stars Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman and is about a girl who falls in love with a stranger and then poses as his fiancée after she saves his life . My favorite scene is when she is pulling up her Christmas tree through the window of her apartment . As a shy quiet person I always related to her quiet life at the start of this movie and I love how she slowly falls in love with someone real and gives up her fantasy . The Family Man is sort of a spin - off of It 's a Wonderful Life and stars Nicolas Cage as a wealthy man who lives his life without heart until one Christmas Eve he is given " a glimpse " of what his life could have become if he had married his girlfriend and followed a dramatically different path . The co - stars in this movie are fantastic . It 's a heart - warming movie about what really matters in life . Maybe it 's because I watched this as a kid but I have an undieing love for the movie All I Want for Christmas about two kids in Manhattan who plot to get their parents back together on Christmas . The Holiday is one of the few movies with Jack Black that I don 't hate . It 's about two people ( Cameron Diaz & Kate Winslet ) who switch houses for the Holidays and dramatically change their lives . So romantic . Posted by I have tried to do this every year , more or less - and it 's always fun to look back to see the things I 've enjoyed over the past year . Some years there are more or less books , most years I can 't remember what I watched last week much less throughout the whole year . This year I attempted to keep an ongoing list in Evernote ( which a very handy website / app that I highly recommend ) and that has helped but there were plenty of movies I watched this year that I haven 't bothered mentioning and a few that I vaguely remember loving but forgot to write down . So here we go . Year in review read / watch / listen . This year I finally got into a groove with reading . I requested tons from the library and only finished a handful . But there were Saturdays here and there on the couch with a book I just could not put down and occasionally found myself up till 2am because I simply had to find out how this book ends . It was great . Here are a few of my favorites . The essays at the end of Insurgent made me love this trilogy even more , especially the one about writing secular young adult fiction as a Christian . The series was a quick easy read for me , and I especially liked the first book - it is so much richer than the movie . Eleanor & Park This was one of those sit - on - the - couch - all - Saturday reads for me . I loved it so much . It 's about two kids in high school in 1986 . It is about comic books , a walkman , batteries , and mixed tapes . It 's about step - dad 's and poverty and bullying and about two people who fall in love sitting next to each other on the school bus . It was a little dark without being totally creepy , it was sweet without being like cotton candy sweet . I loved it . It reminded me of the time in which I grew up ( without cell phones or email . . . till I was a teen anyway ) and it reminded me about how it felt to fall in love . I also read FanGirl by Rainbow Rowell . Not quite as good but I still enjoyed it as quick light read . It 's about a freshman in college who writes Fan Fiction , and the highs and lows of her first year away from home . I enjoyed this peek into a young writer 's mind and the begining stages of romantic interest were really sweet . It went downhill midway but recovered enough that I am still mentioning it here . This book had one of the best first chapters in any Young Adult book I 've read this year . If I 'd had more time to read I definitely would have read more of it . ( p . s . I just watched the movie and it was so scary ! ! ! and so pessimistic . Now I 'm kind of glad I didn 't read the whole book . . . also I 'm pretty sure it 's a series and not one I really want to get sucked into right now . ) Before she wrote the Hunger Games Trilogy Suzanne Collins wrote The Underland Chronicles . Book one is called Gregor the Overlander Beth read all of the books in this series this year . I tried to read book one . It was good and like the Maze Runner I would have loved to have finished it - I just ran out of time ( and renewals at my library ) . I read this one in about 24 hours . It 's about a teenager , her boyfriend , her family and her out - of - body near - death experience . I didn 't read the last couple chapters because when I watch the movie I don 't want to know how it ends . ( P . S . I watched the movie last night and I didn 't think it was as good as the book . ) There is a sequel called Where She Went that I want to try to read sometime next year , maybe over the summer . Like everybody else ( right ? ) I read this over the summer . I let Beth read it too and then we went to go see the movie together in the theater . I cried . Oh how I cried . I loved reading this book . I attempted to read An Abundance of Katherines and Looking for Alaska ( also by John Greene ) and didn 't get very far . This one was so so so good though . every day David Levithan This was one that the young adult book club at our library was going to discuss . I read it to see if it was appropriate for my almost thirteen year old Beth to read . I decided not to let her read it yet but I will definitely request it for her in a few years , it will be a terrific book to read and discuss with her once she is a little older . It is about a soul who wakes up in the body of someone new every day . It was totally weird , emotionally gripping , incredibly well written and had a satisfying ending , but yeah - like I said , very very weird . The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie This is a murder mystery set in the 1950s and is a tale told from the perspective of a young , precocious girl named Flavia de Luce . It was riveting , well - written , and I agonized waiting to find out what had really happened and who had really done it . Next year I definitely want to try to read another book Alan Bradley . Ann Patchett After reading the book This is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Anne Patchett ( which turned out to have very little to do with marriage and was simply a collection of auto - biographical essays - which I loved . ) I requested as many books of hers as I could get my hands on . Confession : I just could not get into State of Wonder . But I just loved The Patron Saint of Liars . It 's about a woman , only a few weeks pregnant , who leaves her husband to live at a Roman Catholic home for unwed mothers and then marries the groundskeeper and stays at this home to raise her daughter . It is told from the perspective of the mother , her second husband and her daughter . I felt like it lagged just a little in the middle but overall I really enjoyed it . The characters were amazing and the ending was worth it . Laine Moriarty Because I have seen this book everywhere I requested it from my library along with The Husband 's Secret . Both were highly un - put - down - able . I liked them both equally well , though I found it highly annoying that they are both written in the form of triplicate female perspective . It 's cool the first time , super - annoying the second time and from what I can see it is a format she writes in regularly . Otherwise both books were very enjoyable , also these books are set in Australia - how cool is that ? What Alice Forgot is about Alice who hits her head and forgets the past ten years . It 's also about her sister who is suffering from infertility , and her older female relative who is sweet but pretty much irrelevant to the story . It really makes you think about the impact of our choices and attitudes , especially compacted over time . It 's the kind of story that you think about for awhile after you 've put it down . The Husband 's Secret is kind of like a murder mystery . There 's the mother of a teenage girl who was murdered many years ago ( but was never solved ) and also two other women in the community , one of which is a young woman who 's husband has had an affair with her best friend so she has moved back into town with her mother and strikes up a relationship with the P . E . teacher at her son 's school , who was one of the suspects in the murder and then the third woman who 's husband has a secret . It 's not like your typical mystery but it 's also not just a strait up romantic drama either . I enjoyed it . I checked this one out of the Library twice . I didn 't read every single essay but overall I really enjoyed this collection , especially as a wanna - be one - day writer . 77 Reasons Why Your Book Preposal Was Rejected ( and how to make sure it won 't happen again ) If you are thinking about some day getting published and know nothing about the process ( like me ) this is a terrific book . The guy is really nice , despite the terrible title it 's a great , interesting book . I ate it up and then the Hubs bought it on the Kindle for me . Can 't wait to read it again next year . A Modern Girl 's Guide to Bible Study I just watched this a couple weeks ago but it tops my list of movies I enjoyed in 2014 . I didn 't think I 'd enjoy watching it as much as I did . It 's an amazing story about leadership and real love in a time of high tension . It 's about doing what is right despite what is expected , it 's about the importance of every life and the immense difference just one can make when that one person has vision . I also loved the sign language in this movie , it looked so expressive and genuine to me . You might also want to watch the movie that came before this one Rise of the Planet of the Apes . I almost never watch movies in the theater anymore . I only watched a few . This was one of them and I think it is my favorite X - Men movie so far . The cast is simply epic . Mia Wasikowska & Michael Fassbender I liked this movie so much I watched it two or three times then checked the book out of the library . The book was very hard to get through , there were fantastic moments but the pace was so slow it was impossible for me to get very far very quickly . This adaptation of the book is SO GOOD ! I think it helps of you already know the story or have at least seen an adaptation or two already . This is cinematically exquisite and Michael Fassbender is my favorite Mr . Rathburn by a mile . Three Days to Kill Despite the awful name this was such a good movie . It 's about a professional assassin who has decided to retire and attempt to reconcile with his ex - wife and estranged teenaged daughter . However he is poisoned and is forced to come out of retirement for one last job . It 's a great date movie if you have an action - flick - loving hubs like I do . There is surprisingly very little objectionable material for this genre , there is subtle humor , a lot of great acting and best of all the good guy turns out to be a truly good guy even though he 's being put in a difficult situation . Belle Daniel & I watched this together a few months ago and I thought for sure he would fall asleep but he enjoyed it a lot , so did I . It 's a little bit like Pride & Prejudice meets The Help . It is about slavery and race , wealth and status , family and love . It is based on this book and was a very good movie . I watched this again a couple months ago and just had to mention it . The language in this movie is so bad but the acting , character and story are so good that in this instance it is forgivable . Daniel falls asleep every time I try to watch this movie with him . It 's a character drama so it feels like it moves a little slowly sometimes . I loved it . This movie was every bit as quirky and sweet as I 'd hoped it would be . This year I watched a lot less TV than previous years which has been good , I think . This year has been all about " reality " shows at my house - mostly about cooking . We watched Chopped , Cutthroat Kitchen , D . C . Cupcakes , MasterChef , and this season of MasterChef Junior is proving to be just amazing as the first season . We 've also been watching The Taste which is in it 's 3rd season and is kind of like The Voice of cooking competition shows . We also watched a good bit of SharkTank as well as getting hooked on The Profit . Daniel & I watched The Newsroom together and I watched season one of The Hour by myself on Amazon Prime Instant Video . I loved it , though I thought season two was not at all as good . Listen : This has been the year of Spotify at my house . I listen to my playlists on Spotify almost every day . Here is what I 've been listening to this year : I listened to my All Sons & Daughters playlist all spring . The honesty and beauty of their music gets me every time . My favorite songs are Great Are You Lord and Called Me Higher She has been one of my favorite artists . Maybe you 've heard her song Not For a Moment . Her newest album is so very good . Her song Strong God is one of my favorites I started listening to the Divergent soundtrack which features a song by Ellie Goulding . My kids also told me about her other songs Burn & Lights and they became my favorite songs on my get these kids out of the house with a smile playlist . Ed Sheeran Favorite song on 1989 : Blank Space . And yes , I totally thought she was saying " Starbucks " which is why I totally love this parody so much . But if you 're in the mood for watching Taylor Swift videos this one is also really fun . While I miss her older style I admit I 've enjoyed 1989 every bit as much as I liked Red . Though I disagree that this is not a boy - centric album , to me it totally is . It 's also even more of a sex - centric album than Red which is disappointing . Bea Miller She first appeared on the first season of the X - Factor as Besteice Miller and totally killed it until she was ( cruelly ) voted off . I would like to think that she would have done even better on the show if she 'd been there while Demi Levato was a judge . Anyway - she finally has a single out with 4 tracks and it 's awesome . This weekend the weather here in Augusta warmed up and we spent the afternoon at the big park near our house . While we were there I noticed a few families all dressed up to take their own family photo . I made every effort to mind my own business and spend my time with my own family but right before we left the park I spent a couple of minutes with just my girls to share just a couple of tips on how to take better family or group photos with your smartphone . Here are just a couple of tips that will dramatically improve your group shots . The number one tip that will make or break your group shot is choosing the right location . Our eyes are naturally drawn to bright sunny spots with interesting features . They look great in our eyes but through the lens of a camera a sunny spot is actually the worst place to take a photo , especially for a group shot . This beautiful sunny spot in front of the live Christmas tree at our park is a great example of this . While I was taking this picture of my kids someone walked up to me and asked if I wanted them to take a group shot for me , confirming to me that yes , most people think that this is the perfect spot to take a picture but take a few steps closer and this is what you get : What you actually see is bright spots of sun on their faces , shadows and squinty eyes . Also , the background ends up looking like a long line of cars from the parking lot . Here are some pictures we took at the big pavilion - Pay attention to your background There is nothing worse than taking a great picture of your kids only to notice later that someone else was walking through the frame . My oldest daughter took this of my second oldest and middle child and me . Did you notice the figure walking through the frame behind me , sticking out of my head ? ! There is also a massive bright spot behind us - not fantastic for taking pictures . I prefer to have a group of trees or brick behind my group shot whenever I can . Yes , you can do this on your smartphone ! In most camera apps you can set the exposure by touching the screen on the point you want to focus and it will also meter the exposure for that spot . Some apps let you set the focus and exposure on seperste points , but let 's not get ahead of ourselves . If you touch your screen on the faces of the people in your shot you 'll ask the app to readjust the exposure for that exact spot . Some camera apps do a better job than others of doing this automatically than others . When your smartphone meters the light in a shot it is usually looking for faces and will try to get those to come out looking good but sometimes , especially if there is a lot of background in your shot , the camera tries to meter the whole shot so that there are no overly dark spots or overly bright spots and you get a shot like the one above . If you are getting shots like that try stepping closer to your group so that more faces fill the frame , then touch the faces in your shot so that the exposure is perfect for that one spot . I hope that these tips will help you the next time you step out to take a group shot and you 'll remeber to : I have this amazing online friend named Corinne . She is one of those friends that I made through my blog several years ago and have kept in contact with through social media for quite a long time . We ocassionally check in with each other 's blogs and like each other 's posts on Facebook and Instagram . A few months ago I reached out to her . I was at a dead - end moment - after months and months of running up against this same wall I finally gave in and asked for help . I was at a point in my writing that I needed a fresh pair of eyes . A fresh pair of writer 's eyes . Corrine was really gracious . She worked with me one on one for a couple of weeks , we exchanged a bunch of emails , she read an awful lot of my notes and half - finished manuscripts and then she opened a door in the walls I kept running into . I really had just one question that needed any kind of answer and Corinne helped me find it . She stepped into my mess with abundant grace and helped me sort it out a bit . She asked good questions and gave the feedback I was desperately needing . And she is opening up a class for writerly folks like you and me . Registration is open now for her class which will be running January 5 - 16th so if you have at all been thinking that some kind of writing class / collective would be a good thing for you to commit to in the coming year - well then I highly recommend that you click here , register for her class and then read a few ( or a lot ) of her blog posts . A while ago I wrote this post about my kids , about our issues , about ADHD and about mother - guilt . After I wrote that post and started getting the ball rolling on trying to figure out why my good kids were getting such bad grades I talked with their teachers who assured me that they are doing great . It took some wind out of my sails and made it difficult for me to move forward . I felt like I 'd come back to the over - reacting mom . Then we had a pretty traumatic few months . We were moving metro - areas . Then we weren 't ( yay ! ) but then my husband was working insane hours ( I honestly didn 't think it was possible that he could work more than he was at his old job . I was wrong . ) and the kids went on break for the summer . We started a new school year with some new priorities : encouraging words and gentle actions and Josiah has had a fantastic year at school so far . I am remembering my days of teaching 6 & 7 year olds in Sunday School classes at church and what a huge difference it made in all kinds of ways for boys between the ages of six and seven . A six year old boy can hardly sit still , a seven year old can sit still and write some words on a paper or read a simple sentence . Seven just may be one of Josiah 's golden years . He 's still struggling here and there but with his school work he 's staying on - task . Completing his work and scoring 100s across the board . However when we got Katie - Abigail 's progress report and it said that she is a solid B student . Okay , I can take that . But she is failing in her science / social studies class . Mostly because of the way that it is being taught . She does not seem to absorb information that she hears or reads very well . Filling out her worksheets is hard , especially if she has to write a response . I 've noticed that her writing has improved since last year but we are a long way from where I 'd like for her to be . A couple months ago I sat in the kitchen at a friend 's house . We were talking about our kids , about potty training about the hard parts of mothering . One of the moms has a child in occupational therapy for severely things but especially sensory processing disorder . I asked her so many questions . A lot of the things her son does are things I 've noticed with Eli . So today I came home with another load of books from the library and took another picture . It looked like this : Tonight I spent my quiet hours at night reading about sensory integration disorder . I 'm still trying to work out what is ( and what isn ' tI have also started reading " The Highly Sensitive Child " and it has been really good so far . It is very positive in tone which helps me a lot . It also helped me think about my family within a framework of sensitivity . I am a pretty sensitive person . I 'm intuitive , I tend to feel the emotional climate of a room intensely , I am overwhelmed easily by new places and people . I don 't like to try new things . I used to think that being a sensitive person meant that I am a fragile person but as I look back on my life I have seen over and over again that I have a lot of internal strength , even though I also have this tendency to be easily overwhelmed . It also made me think about my husband as a highly sensitive person - which is something that I sometimes forget about since tends to be very task - oreinted . But he is a highly sensitive person , just in different ways than I am . Every single one of my kids has sensitivity / sensory issues - from lack of sensitivity / processing to being highly sensitive , to being sensory seeking . I have one who is highly sensitive in social situations - but being highly sensitive can also tie into anxiety . I have kids who were tough to potty train , except for my socially sensitive one who was a dream . I have kids who don 't feel when they have to pee and don 't care if they are wet yet freak out if their hands are dirty and don 't want to be touched . They only want to eat familiar foods and can be picky eaters . I have kids who slouch , I have kids who are in semi - constant motion . Every single on of my kids has allergies of one kind or another - which is an indicator of being highly sensitive or having sensory integration problems . I think understanding these things is important for me , as their mom . It gives me power and takes me out of the picture . I was thinking a lot about that today - this idea of taking myself out of the picture . In the text in the picture further up it says that parents should not respond with the same fear and frustration as the child . But I know I sure do . I take it personally when my child isn 't performing well in school , or is hard to potty train . However when I understand that my child has a physical issue , like that he can 't feel when his bladder is full and doesn 't process the sensation of being wet the way that I 'd like for him to , then I stop blaming myself and start to try to solve the problem . I set a timer and take him to the toilet . When my oldest hit nine it was awful . We were fighting a lot . She was getting angry at me more than usual . She was crying more than usual . Then I started noticing it was going in a cycle . She 'd be great , she 'd get cranky then she 'd explode then she 'd be great again . Then I started realizing that her behaviors were pretty typical of how I feel when I am about to get my period . She didn 't start her cycle for a few years , but when I realized that our fighting had more to do with her hormones at the moment than how I was failing her as her parent the less I freaked out and overreacted and the more I was able to work things through with her in a more gentle and understanding way . And for the record , so far thirteen has been a dream compared to nine . No one warned me that the pre - teen years could be so hard ! ! When Katie - Abigail was four I was at the total end of my rope . She was screaming and throwing tantrums everywhere we went . I could not get her to behave for me . Then I learned about the concept of triggers and it revolutionized my parenting strategy . I began to realize that her trigger is hunger and started packing snacks . I practically had a brand - new child . We also found activities that calmed her down in general like painting and doing puzzles and we did those every day so that her overall stress didn 't get too high . Josiah needs to be well - rested . He can go practically forever between meals but if it was too near nap - time he 'd melt down . Eli can go forever between naps and meals but he needs to know the plan . He likes to have our trips out mapped out and if the plan changes he likes to know about it . If I make a last minute decision to stop at the grocery store by our house before we go home and he sees us pass our neighborhood he will start crying . He thought we were going home , we didn 't turn into our neighborhood . His little world has ended . Knowing what makes them tick helps me help them . I am still figuring things out as I go . I don 't know where all of this will end , I guess with parenting it never really " ends " it just continually morphs into something different . . . anyway . I just wanted to share my experience in the middle of everything . It 's overwhelming but I think at the end of the day it 's worth it .
|
June 4 , 2014aklandiLeave a comment As an undergrad English major at a small liberal arts college , there weren 't very many choices for classes . I do not like Nonfiction . I had no other choice but to take a Nonfiction class in order to graduate in time . I was surprised . While I did not like all the books we read ( like Animal , Vegetable , Miracle : A Year of Food Life by Barbara Kingsolver ) , I did fall in love with other books ( like A Private History of Awe by Scott Russell Sanders ) . Maybe it was the topic , or maybe it was the delivery . Who knows . Since I graduated , I decided to stay away from Nonfiction unless the topic is interesting to me . I read a biography of Charles Schultz because I like the peanuts cartoon . I read The Ramen King and I because the book was free … and turned out to be funny . And recently , I read I won 't lie to you . I learned about the book from the AE site … sometimes it 's useful for more than lesbian pop culture information . Here 's a link to another review : http : / / www . afterellen . com / kitty - genoveses - secret - lesbian - history / 03 / 2014 / . The book is about a murder that shook the country . After reading the review at AE , I decided I would order the book . I felt compelled to read the book , to find out more . I 'm not sure why . Maybe it was the fact that Kitty Genovese was an Italian American girl just like me . Maybe because she grew up just outside of Manhattan just like me . Maybe because it turns out she was gay just like me . Maybe because she experienced my greatest fear . This connection I felt with someone dead over 40 years compelled me to buy the book and learn what happened to someone as awesome as myself . In fact , I 'm ashamed to say that I never even heard of the murder or the case involved afterward . In the account , Cook describes how the Genovese murder impacted the nation and how it is still taught in social psychology classes . But I never took a social psychology class . I never learned why my grandparents never trusted the cops . I never learned how 9 - 1 - 1 in New York is only as old as my mother . I never learned how neighborhood watch groups came to be . I never learned . But Cook does a good job of opening eyes . He sets the scene . Cook describes what it was like in the ' 60s . The important events and people in that decade which began to change our nation ( Martin Luther King Jr . , JFK , the Beatles , the Stonewall Riots , etc ) . I didn 't care about this stuff when I took a 1960s class , and I don 't really care now . But Cook delivered it in such a way that these things mattered . Not because they are just facts from a textbook . They are events and people that influenced a person … Kitty … and other human beings . Cook uncovers details which were apparently hidden back in the ' 60s , such as Kitty being in love with a woman . He uncovers the fact that reports were exaggerated in newspapers . The witnesses are numbered 38 . That number is still held today in texts . The reason this murder is important is because the 38 witnesses did absolutely NOTHING to help Kitty . At least that 's what the reports say . Cook tells a different story . One where Kitty did not die alone and she did not die without help . But … if those reports weren 't embellished a little , would her murder have changed the country ? City streets wouldn 't be as lit as they are now . People wouldn 't be held accountable for not helping out their fellow neighbor . 9 - 1 - 1 would not exist in the New York Area . And so many people would not be aware of the dangers outside , even in a place you may feel super safe . Everyone has the same fear ; something lurking in the shadows is going to jump out at you and you will die a violent lonely death . I think it is magnified even more for women because rape is already a constant fear . But no matter , what would you have done if you were Kitty ? She fought off her assailant and tried to escape and yelled for help . Who would be this brave ? I 'm not sure how I would react if I were Kitty . And I hope I never find out . Winston Moseley . The murderer . The serial rapist . Cook gives a description of what life was like for him … almost making him someone we could sympathize with … but I cannot sympathize with someone who harms others . I 'm not that righteous . He attacked Kitty because he was on a hunt that night , and she happened to be the only woman out at 3 a . m . She was in the wrong place at the wrong time . That is unfortunate , because Kitty was someone that touched the lives she encountered . But if that was true , how could her neighbors not run out and chase Moseley away ? I just don 't understand . I asked my brother what he would do . He said he would not endanger himself . Okay , that 's something I could understand a little bit … if the person being attacked is a stranger . But what about calling the cops ? They don 't get to the scene quickly … I know that personally . But it 's something you can do . If someone was being attacked outside my window , I would hope that I would call the cops first . Then grab my pepper - spray and a weapon and chase the goomba away . I don 't know what I would do , though . None of us do . Not until something happens . The few times I 've encountered a scary situation I start to shake . I do what I need to , but I shake . What if that is enough , next time , to put my actions at a stand still ? February 26 , 2014aklandiLeave a comment Let 's be real . No one cares what someone else is reading … unless you are reading the same things . These short stories are from 2008 … I highly doubt they are still being circulated in relevant places . Buuuuuut , it doesn 't really matter in the end whether you 've read them or not . This post still exists . I was very confused while reading Child 's Play , by Alice Munro . Immediately you know that you are reading a story being told by an adult woman about her childhood . However , you are jumping between memories . There 's the primary memory about Charlene , a childhood friend , at a summer camp . Although it was once , we learn at the end why these friends are forever connected . At first , I thought maybe they were lovers . Marlene ( the narrator ) describes Charlene with a kind of affection that adults don 't really attach to a one - time - summer - camp friend . There has to be a special connection between the two . However , Marlene describes the type of relationship she has with any female : " I 've observed but never taken part in these female exchanges . Not truly . Sometimes I 've pretended because it seemed to be required , but the woman I was supposed to be making friends with always got wind of my pretense and became confused and cautious . " Obviously Marlene doesn 't connect well with other women … which convinced me that Charlene was her lover because their relationship seemed to be the only time she connected with another girl . Then Verna . This is the other memory the story will switch . Verna is mentally handicapped ( at least that 's how she is described ) , and Marlene absolutely hates her . I don 't really understand how a child could learn this hate . . but I think that 's how the hate begins . Mentally handicapped people make everyone else reeeally uncomfortable . . that 's the reality of it for those who do not have family members whom are themselves handicapped . Marlene probably read this in her mother 's disposition , and this created an inner hate : " I didn 't believe my mother really liked Verna either . " But Marlene goes so far as to say : only adults would be so stupid as to believe she had no power . A power , moreover , that was specifically directed at me . I was the only one she had her eye on . Or so I believed . As if we had an understanding between us that could not be described and was not to be disposed of . Something that clings , in the way of love , though on my side it felt like hate . I basically thought she was in denial at this point , and secretly was in love with Verna . Special people deserve love too ! ! However , because of this hate , Marlene would get highly annoyed when Verna came around . In the yard . At school . And , at the summer camp . This clearly ties the two memories together . And , what I was thinking , the summer camp brings the two lovers into the same vicinity . For the most part , Verna stayed away . It had been years since she saw Marlene , would she even recognize her ? Charlene helped Marlene avoid Verna nonetheless . The story switches to the present , and Marlene describes how Charlene and she lost touch . Marlene is now an Anthropologist writing about the mentally handicapped and other cultures , and Charlene is married with kids . Marlene 's topic of choice . . and the fact that she never married further supported my idea of thinking she and Verna had something . The loss of connection between Charlene , who meant so much , and Marlene also supported the idea that something happened between them . Charlene has cancer and asks for Marlene to come to her . In a note , she sends Marlene to a Catholic church to have Charlene forgiven before she passes … . why didn 't she go do that before she ended up in the hospital ? ? Marlene made a trip to no end . There wasn 't a Father willing to forgive her . At last , there is a memory of the last day of summer camp . You wanna know what connects Charlene and Marlene through all those years even though there was a disconnect ? Do you know why Marlene is obsessed with how different cultures handle the mentally handicapped ? Do you want to know why Marlene doesn 't think she is worthy of being loved ? ? ? Yes . You read that freaking right . Charlene and Marlene spontaneously murdered Verna … I use spontaneous because that is how Marlene describes it … freeing herself of guilt . They didn 't plan it . WTF . Just because you didn 't plan on holding Verna under water while she fought for the surface DOESN ' T MEAN YOU AREN ' T PSYCHOTIC . But I guess Paige understands … she tried to drown Emily to drown away her feelings . Except , Paige didn 't have a Charlene to help . The next story , Buying Lenin ( by Miroslav Penkov ) , doesn 't leave you with a bad taste in your mouth . However , it is quite a sorrowful story . The narrator is a boy in his early 20s from Bulgaria . He is telling the story about his grandfather . The man who basically raised him . The story opens up saying that the narrator is going to America for college , and his grandfather opposes because he is a communist . The narrator , at 17 , is living by himself . We learn that his grandmother died when the narrator was 8 . Then his parents died when the narrator was 12 . And his grandfather is the primary person who teaches him to be the man he is before leaving for America . Most of the story is about the grandfather . . giving us a background of what he has been through . The narrator finds this important , so we need to as well , right ? G - pa was not a communist at first . He took to the woods , hiding from those who took over . But , he was starving , so G - pa gathered up courage and went back to the village . There " people walked free , and their dark eyes glowed with the spark of something new , great , and profoundly world - changing . " G - pa immediately became a communist . Found a woman . Had a baby boy . The memories are switching back and forth with the narrator 's experiences at college . Funny : ' Welcome to America , ' they said in one warm , friendly voice . They had good , honest faces . We shook hands . Then in the car they gave me a Bible . ' Do you know what this is ? ' the girl said , very slowly and very loudly . ' No , ' I said . She seemed genuinely pleased . ' These are the deeds of our Savior . The word of our Lord . ' There 's a memory of catching crawfish , just the narrator and his g - pa . It was sweet . Then the memory of his grandma dying … the love of g - pa 's life dying . The narrator says : " it must have rained inside Grandpa too , but he shed no tears . " There is apparently no priest at a communist funeral . What does a priest do anyway ? No one wants to hear prayers . No one wants to hear that the dead are in a better place . That doesn 't make ANYONE feel better . But Grandpa didn 't just lose his heart . He lost his love … Communism . The Communist party fell a month before grandmother died . Grandpa stayed in the village his wife died . . and over years , the Communist party rose again with Grandpa at the head . The night the narrator 's parents died … they were on the way to the hospital to see Grandpa , who had had a stroke . A truck hit them . A funny memory during the narrator 's sophomore year in college … Grandpa calls and asks the narrator to buy Lenin on eBay … Yes . That 's what I thought . That 's what the narrator thought . Grandpa knows it may be a fake . But he says he 'll believe what he wants to believe because he 's too tired to keep facing reality . Flashback to the narrator 's 16th birthday . Grandpa buys the narrator a BMX bike … what he didn 't know is that the narrator 's parents had also bought a BMX bike for the birthday right after they died … so the narrator has an emotional breakdown . Tells Grandpa he wishes he 'd died instead . . that it 's his fault the parents are dead . Grandpa leaves town . The last phone conversation that the narrator has with his Grandpa is full of laughter . The narrator gets a letter from his Grandpa . The letter says Grandson , we 've had a hard life , you and I . We grew old , not with years , but with deaths . You are now one death older . Carry this baggage with dignity , and don 't let it break your back . Always remember that you 've suffered a lot more than many , but that others have suffered even greater pains . Be thankful for what you have . For what you 've seen and for what you 've been spared from seeing … Sinko , I love you . Vampires in the Lemon Grove … . ' nuf said . Karen Russell certainly took a fantastical approach to story telling . I enjoyed the story . It was an interesting take on Vampires . Clyde is a Vampire . He lives in a Lemon Grove . . he more than lives there . . he is now growing moss all over his unmoving body there . That 's a bit of an exaggeration . However , he is settled on a lemon grove in Sorrento , Italia with his wife , Magreb . Why a Lemon Grove ? Why not a cave where there is cover from the sun ? Why not in a cemetery like Buffy - vampires do so Clyde can suck the blood of stupid teenagers running around a grave yard in the middle of the night ? Why in Italy , where crosses and garlic are EVARYWHERE ? At one point , Clyde probably would not have lived there . He was the only Vampire he knew . So he lived in a cave , and killed adults because of blood - hunger , and he hid from crosses and garlic . He even wore a cape so that everyone feared him like they feared Dracula . But then Clyde met Magreb … and she told him that none of those things are true . Of course Clyde didn 't believe her , at first . But now he lives in a Lemon Grove … in Italy … where he sits day in and day out eating the fresh lemons . It turns out that the lemons get rid of the hunger as effectively as blood does . So Clyde and Magreb live here . It 's only Clyde 's love for Magreb that helps the hunger : " Because I love her , my hunger pangs gradually mellowed into a comfortable despair . " But , centuries later , the lemons aren 't working any longer . Magreb wants to go . Clyde is too scared to leave . Clyde : a Vampire who used to be feared , a Vampire who sucked blood , a Vampire who terrorized humans . He is too scared to leave , but doesn 't want Magreb to leave him alone . This is understandable , " I gave up more than I intended : I can 't shudder myself out of this old man 's body . I can 't fly anymore . " Clyde cannot face the world as he once was , why face it at all ? In the story , Fila is a girl who also lives in the Lemon grove . She knows that Clyde is a Vampire . She doesn 't stay away from him , but becomes his friend . She obviously needs to watch Buffy . . she 's as stupid as those kids walking through the grave yard . Under the impression they were friends , Fila teases Clyde about his Vampire - ness . This strikes Clyde the wrong way given all his emotional distress … and then he bites her , drains her dry , and becomes whole : " I am a monster again . " This time there is a 4th story . It is simply called Puppy , by George Saunders . The story is about two women , each the opposite of the other . Marie is raising her kids the way she wished her abusive parents had raised her . Callie is raising her children with love . But how these two women go about doing these things are completely different … and in the end Marie judges Callie for the appearance of her household , rather than her intention . The story opens up with Marie describing how wonderful her life is : perfect husband , wonderful kids , the works … " family laughter was golden . " She compares this life to the abusive one she had as a child growing up . Good for her , for raising her kids in a loving home . They are even on their way to go pick a puppy up ( at Callie 's home ) . Callie 's life isn 't as perfect . Her son has a mental disability , and he keeps escaping the house … almost getting killed each time . Her man kills animals . But he only does it because he has to … because they have too many . When Callie is describing her life , though , it doesn 't seem that bad : " that 's what love was , liking someone how he was and doing things to help him get better . " It 's Marie that makes Callie 's life worse . She describes the mess of the house . She describes Callie 's weight . She describes the smell . But she tries to be better than the judgmental person she actually is , and thinks : " life will not necessarily always be like this . Your life could suddenly blossom into something wonderful . It can happen . It happened to me . " WHAT is wrong with Callie 's life ? Just because things aren 't as neat and clean as you 'd like them , Marie , doesn 't mean the home isn 't full of love … which is what your childhood was lacking . What pissed me off about Marie … is the fact that she leaves the place … won 't even take the damn puppy . She leaves and plans on calling Child Welfare about Callie 's son , who is chained up in the yard . The son is chained up because he keeps escaping . The son is chained up because Callie doesn 't want harm to come to him . The son is chained up outside because it is better than him being cooped up inside for days and days . The son is chained up because his mother loves him . Marie doesn 't know this … I can 't completely dislike Marie . Because … if Callie can 't afford the proper care for Bo , he should be taken to someone who can . So this is report - able … but there is no neglect going on here . What Marie should have been worried about is the damned puppy . This family was trying to get rid of the puppy so they didn 't have to kill it . Now , Callie has to kill it . She 's chosen to let it starve in the middle of a field . DAFUQ ? ! Recent Comments It 's a Palanhi … on She 's a Lady , and Ladies … Dear Mother … D … on Five Reasons Why You Shouldn … Dear Mother … D … on It 's Not What You T … Five Reasons Why You … on It 's Not What You T … It 's Not What … on Five Reasons Why You Shouldn … Archives August 2015
|
Scout had been exposed , one of her sister has died , the other one got it but survived . Terri and Scouts two sisters Scared would be an understatement for Mike right now . She is his heartthrob , she is his life , he loves her so much . I know to some she 's " just a dog " but to Mike , to us , she 's a huge part of our family so would you please , in your prayers today say a prayer for her and Mike . We took a big chunk of our BWCA trip money and got her to the vet today and got her the 2nd series of shots ( we are 25 days behind so are hoping that she was still covered ) and the vet said she looks good but this is just day 5 of the 10 day incubation period so it 's hard to tell . She , the vet , told us what to look for so we 'll be on the look out the next few days . We are not looking at the glass half empty , she will be fine but there 's still the worry . I also took Wilbur because he was exposed X2 this weekend when the puppies came to visit so just to make sure , even though it 's a puppy disease adult dogs can get it but rarely , we got him his shot too . I think our family has had enough stress this summer . We don 't / can 't handle a whole bunch more . I hope that your day is going grand and that life is treating you with respect , love and lots of blessings . Take care my friends and thank you for your prayers . Posted by And we all know this and after doing some soul searching and thinking and more I have come to the conclusion that I am doing terrible at my life style changes this summer . I can blame it on all sorts of things but really that 's stupid . Because other then some stressful issues this summer it 's not much different then last years summer when I was losing weight . Maybe it 's really because I am satisfied with my weight and size . Maybe it 's really because my goals when I started have been met and I 'm learning to maintain . I am not really positive the whys , I just know the knows . So for the month of August I am going to keep on doing what I 'm doing minus the extra pound up here . I 'm still going to count calories , track my food and get what exercise I can in and in September I will get back to the gym and get back to doing the losing part of my life style changes . The Slimmer this Summer Challenge wasn 't a weight loss challenge for me , it was a move my butt challenge and I plan on keeping that up . Not necessarily the exercises I picked but as long as my butts moving and in 10 days I 'll be in the BWCA really moving so that should help too . Our trip will be a minimum of 75 miles paddled , 6 miles of portages and numerous miles of hiking , climbing , swimming and so much more . I know Allan 's phase 6 is still going though I haven 't a clue how anyone is doing because with the new blog Allan doesn 't have that part on it . I 'm not leaving the challenge there either though I 'm not going to shoot for a huge loss . If I can lose the pound I gained , I 'd like to get back into the 160 's and stay there . When September starts back up and I can get back to a regular routine I am sure I can lose a few more pounds and also work more on tightening the muscles and flab I have . So honesty is the best policy and also pretty boring to read . I 'm studying for my bus endorsement , I 'm taking care of 6 kids a day , my garden is amazing so been working in there , with all the rain this summer our grass needs mowing at Julie FLUNK , BIG TIME ! ! ! No counting calories , no extra exercise other then lots of swimming and two walks . I have been just to worried , to busy , to everything to do anything right . Stupid I know and this is a new week but last week was just not the week to do anything I should of . Week 7 was a wash for me but week 8 is here and I have to do what 's right . Not because of the challenge though I have to admit it 's been such a great reason but mostly because I want to be the most healthiest me possible . Sorry I flunked this week but thank God I have a new week to get back on track . I hope you all are getting to the most healthiest you possible . I have been reading lots of your blogs and so many of you are doing so awesome . I am so proud of you all and so proud to be part of this challenge . Take care and have a blessed week . Also , weight it up to 170 . 4 . . . it sucks and it 's not good . Have to fix it , NOW ! ! ! You all know daycare hasn 't been the most profitable this past year . Thinks have changed , people have moved on and my numbers have shrunk so in order for me to keep doing daycare for the family I have left , because you also know that this is my life , I love kids so much and don 't want to do something different , I have found a solution , I am hoping . Meet Julie ( that 's me ) , one of Aitkin County 's new activity bus driver . Now it 's just part time because I 'm still doing daycare but when I talked to the bus garage they were thrilled . You see , the manager of the bus garage has known me since my early teens . He 's known me through driving truck , working at the nursing home and now daycare . I see him at least yearly when they make their first few runs of the year and I talk to him yearly because each year my numbers and kids change for the bus pickup / drop offs . All drivers in our district start off as activity drivers . It 's a chance to get a feel of the job without the rush of a timed schedule . Now to do this I already posses a commercial 's driver license so I don 't have to do that , I need though to get the endorsements for bus driving and safety and then do some practice driving with their instructor . I think there 's a drivers test too with the bus but wasn 't clear about that . I don 't think I 'll have any problems with any of the driving , now the written test … I 'm not good at test , they make me sick really but I will start studying this weekend and hopefully feel able to take the written test next Friday . Oh I have to get a DOT physical too and pay for a background check , about $ 100 . 00 above and beyond what I don 't already have but we 'll figure that out in due time . Because I 've been scared out of my mind I wasn 't going to share this quite yet but you guys have always supported me , prayed for me and my family I 'm once again asking for your support and prayers and courage to step out of my comfortable box and add something really new . It 's the weekend , a quiet relaxing one I thinkJulie I wanted to run so bad tonight . It 's been awhile since I 've been able to just go out and run without it either being so hot I can 't breath or so late it 's dark . So tonight at 7 : 30 I was done for the day , it was 75 * and a bit breezy and I was ready . I grabbed my itouch , turned it on and …… . . crap , nothing . It was dead , so dead it took a few minutes after I plugged it in for it to be able to turn itself on . So I borrowed Mike but his is full of angry music . I know Mike , it 's not angry but it 's that kind where they yell a lot and it 's not my favorite . Anyways I finally got out and got warmed up , ready to go and they found me , those deerflies . I am sure there were enough of them buzzing around my head , biting me and being nasty pest they could of taken me for a ride . I ran as fast as I could , they can fly faster . The hotter I got the more of them showed up . By time I got home ( 3 . 5 miles in 42 minutes ) I was so pissed and scratchy and crabby and beyond hot and tired . I don 't think this is the way a run is suppose to be , yes I moved my butt and moved it fast but my mind was going to explode . I HATE DEERFLIES ! ! ! I hope you all had a great day . Take care and God Bless ! ! Posted by Well first and foremost my weight it up two pounds but I know why and I know at the end of the week it 'll be gone and hopefully the 2 pounds will follow . No worries there , it 's not permanent . Exercise is good . Not always what I planned on for the challenge but my butt is moving . Wilbur and I 've been walking / jogging up to 6 miles at a shot but I 'm not using the C25K program . It makes me feel limited and I want to jog / run as long as I can when I can and right now not interested in someone telling me , run now … walk now … but I 'm out there doing it so exercise is good . Food has not been spot on this weekend . With the heat index in the 100 's I did not do any baking , cooking , grilling or anything . I even went out for supper and ate things that are not on any diet menu but regrets I don 't have , fun I did have and now it 's a new week to eat close to spot on and learn along the way . I have never been on a diet , this is a life style change and change I really have . I know what 's going to bloat me , I know what 's going to clean me out , I know what 's going to make me feel good and what 's going to make me remember why I 'm doing this in the first place . Everyone is on some kind of diet / life style change and we all do it differently but the end goal for all of us is to get healthy , feel good and love ourselves . It 's happening for me and I hope for you too . Take care and have a blessed week . Posted by I have to be honest because well you know that it 's me , I don 't ever pretend to be someone or something I 'm not and I have to tell you I was terrible nervous to meet Michele . You never know what someone will think of you . You never know if it 'll be a difficult meeting . You never know if they 'll come to your humble home and want to escape but … . the minute Michele was at my door I knew there was nothing at all that I had to worry about . She is the sweetest , nicest , most pleasant person to be with and she was very easy to talk to . I am more of a writer , I 'm not that much of a talker but I think it took me about 5 hours before I stopped talking . We didn 't run out of things to say , things to look at , things to do . It was a great visit . Michele brought with her the most amazing lunch for me to try . We had a lettuce salad but not lettuce that I normal have , beets , carrots , grapes , and some very good raspberry dressing , and then some pita bread and turkey too . It was a great lunch and so much fun eating things differently then I do here . For one of our activities I took Michele canoeing . She wanted to learn how to paddle , sit comfortable , and tip and not be afraid . Plus I taught her a couple other things like paddling when the canoe is full of water and also how to get into one . Now that was the hardest part of the day but she did it and she did it well . Mike came out with us too , just to make sure we were okay and also to help empty the canoe so we could do it all over again . Take a peek … Oh I have to tell you , when Michele first got here she wanted a tour of my place so that was what we did and then I took her for a walk . Michele is from the cities and though she gets out plenty and has lots of pastures and meadows they are not quite the same as I have to offer up here . She had such a great time teaching me what the name of this and that butterfly was , this and that tree and those flowers or them flowers . It was so cool to learn some of these things that I just called by their generic names . She also Julie Drum roll please ……… . the named picked out of the hat is ……… . . Pam : EmptyNester has left a new comment on your post " Gotein … review … " : Ok , I 'm IN ! And I want to win ! LOL Seriously . And the runners up for the coupons are : Ronnie Deb Myra So please send me your addresses and I will send out your goodies . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Now for life here . Eat - close , exercise - boring , stress - off the charts but life is good . Tomorrow Michele is driving up here to visit , play and eat with me . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I will be back on Monday . Take care and have a blessed weekend . Posted by Laura from Gotein contacted me : I am writing to tell you about a remarkable new Product called Gotein . Gotein is a protein powder designed for active WLS patients on the Go . Gotein is a protein powder that comes in a convenient stick pack that simply adds to your water bottle . Gotein contains 16 - 17g of Protein , 24 of your daily recommend vitamins and minerals , 1g Sugar , 6 - 7g carbs and 100 - 110 calories . We would love to provide you with samples and a give away prize for a review . Gotein ™ Vanilla packet contains 17 grams of our special protein matrix , 5 grams of carbs , 24 essential vitamins and minerals , and is only 100 calories . Vanilla Gotein ™ is nourishing and delicious for those want to treat their bodies . Gotein ™ Chocolate packet contains 16 grams of our special protein matrix , 6 grams of carbs , 24 essential vitamins and minerals , and is only 110 calories . Chocolate Gotein ™ is nourishing with a delicious chocolate flavor . Gotein ™ Strawberry packet contains 17 grams of our special protein matrix , 6 grams of carbs , 24 essential vitamins and minerals , and is only 110 calories . Strawberry Gotein ™ is also nourishing with a delicious fruit flavor . So I gave it a try . It comes in Strawberry ( which I couldn 't try because I 'm allergic to strawberries but Mike loved it ) , Chocolate , which was fantastic and Vanilla which was so - so . I got to try two of each and I have to admit putting them in water made them taste okay , passable and good for you but I tried them in skim milk and they tasted amazing , yes it added calories but I figured it into my daily calorie and food allowance so I was good . So if you are in need of a quick protein snack before or water your work outs . Or even cuz you hungry and it 's a bit of time before supper I 'd say give these a try . Now they provided me with a sample pack for a give away so just leave me a comment and by Friday I 'll pick a winner . I also have 3 20 % discount coupons that I will send to the runners up . So that means 4 of you will get a chance to give it a try . I thJulie Well you all know that I bowed out of Brad 's 5K in 100 days and he was very kind about it . He even has invited me to join the next group , if and when he starts one up . So today I went back to my C25K training . My calories are better this past week . Not perfect but I took Mir 's suggestion and as I 'm fixing the kids their meals I 'm working hard on at least getting part of mine done . It 's not simple but with lots of thought it 's happening . I am doing very well with my floor exercises . In fact the kids help me count and one of my little ones can now watch the second hand and know when a minute passes . I do however really , really miss working out at the gym . That sounds so weird from a woman who hated just walking to the mail box , wouldn 't lift a weight if she had too , who wouldn 't run , jog , bike or anything . I really miss it . I have some NSV I have thought of this past week . I still am enjoying sitting and holding my leg and still breathing . I love putting lotion on my legs and being able to reach all of them . Trimming my toenails . Folding my shorts and remembering I use to fold my old ones in half and thought there were so huge and now opened wide it 's … well feels so nice . Ribs , collar bone , butt bones … things I 've haven 't seen or felt in so many years and this year I can feel them and see them . Out walking my 6 ' 4 " son and husband with my itty bitty short legs , not always mind you but lots more then it use to be . Being able to bend over , lay bricks and breath . Swimming in a swimsuit and not feeling like a beached whale . Yep , loving the NSV . I sent my weight into Allan for phase 6 , a bit late today , noon my time but late his . 169 . 9 . Not great but not back into the 170 's and hopefully never to be there again . My weight fluxes from 167 - 169 , back and forth all week . Of course on the day to report it 's up even a bit more . But a big deal for me is 60 lbs lost now . I 'll take it , as slow as it 's coming off I 'll still take it . So there you have it , my update . Not perfect , so very slow Julie I wrote Brad last night and told him I just can not keep up with the pace I 've been doing . With working 14 hours a day , working with the scouts getting ready with the BWCA , with my garden , yard and so much more I am not getting in my 3 days a week of 50 - 60 minutes of walking . I am disappointed that I quit after he let me in after he closed this training session but I just can not do it . I am going to go back to the C25K when I can get my walks in and even though I wanted to run the full 5K in October I will just do my best , like I always do with my races and then come this winter I will train for a full run race , maybe even a 10K . I just can 't fit it all in and the stress of feeling like I 've failed Brad just isn 't worth it . Just more of my honesty . I can 't do it all , no matter how important it is I just can 't fit it in right now . I hope you 're having a blessed Sunday . Take care my friends . Posted by That 's what the sunburn is doing now but I can handle that , I can sleep again . Today I taught my venture crew some canoe safety . Which means I put them in a canoe and tipped it , over and over again . Teaching them how to get into a canoe filled with water and paddling it around . Teaching them how to get as much water out of it and getting back into it without filling it up again . How to steer , how to paddle and how to just have fun and not panic when someone wiggles . They did excellent . I was tired cuz it 's a show and tell type teaching . After we worked on that for a couple of hours we then worked on our gear and needs . I think everyone is getting how important all of this prep is before heading to the BWCA for 9 days of no contact with civilization and just us to rely on . I have been starved the past couple of days but have been keeping things in check , pretty close . We are out of fruits and veggies so it 's been hard finding healthy but it 's shopping day tomorrow so that will be great . Exercise hasn 't been up to par . I just am not finding the time , or maybe it 's taking the time cuz I am sitting down now and I could of done something other then my walk before this . I did work hard with the kids today so am counting that . Look at what I found today … Soon we 'll be having our own fresh veggies . The beans looked excellent and starting to bud and the corn is over knee high now , the peppers have flowers and the kohlrabi needs thinning and is health too . I hope you all are having a terrific weekend . Take care and God Bless ! ! ! Posted by Took the kids mini golfing , swimming , a picnic and then tonight canoeing with Mike . A full day in the sun on top of canoeing last evening in the sun too . Exercise is great , the sun is great , the kids were slathered in sun screen , I didn 't think of myself . DUMB ! ! ! I have my own heater wrapped around my head right now . I think if you put a thermometer on my skin it would say … . BURNT ! ! ! Oh well , some cream and cold cloth and tomorrow it 'll be better . Eating has not been spot on . Not terrible mind you but not great . When you spend as much time outside as possible there is no extra time for cooking . I still have daycare 10 - 12 hours a day so of course am cooking 3 meals a day for them and snacks but to plan ahead from me , well it isn 't happening . I know lots of people are busy beyond belief and are able to plan ahead , stick with a plan , be good , strong willed and able … . me , well I 'm still learning and working on it . I have decided that fall , winter and spring are so much easier then summer and I really thought it would be the opposite . I thought busy would make it easier but that 's not true . I read a post just a little bit ago from Laryssa about why we blog , why we tell the truth about our ups and downs and she is so right . Honesty is the best policy . Well honestly I 'm trying but not as hard as I could be . Honestly I need to exercise like I did when I was at the gym . Honestly I can do this , to keep this weight off , to lose the last few pounds , to tone up all that still left hanging around . Honestly it 's just time to really try harder . Will I , honestly ? … . only time will tell . I have been terrible at reading , commenting and even just visiting you all and you still take the time to come here . THANK YOU ! ! ! I promise I 'll find some time to visit and check in and support you , I will ! ! Take care my friends and have a blessed nights rest . Posted by You want to talk about busy . You want to talk about fun . How about you want to talk about a great family and many wonderful friends . That is what my weekend was . We celebrated our 15th family reunion with a party for my mama and daddy 's 50th wedding anniversary . It turned out so great . It was mostly a surprise , I did share with mama a bit ahead and I told daddy the day of . But it was fantastic and the love , cards , sweet comments in the guest book , WOW ! ! ! Here are the pictures to go with out great day . I was told the cake was awesome . I did not have any . In fact I didn 't have any of the sweets except a couple tiny mints the whole day . No chips or dip . No breads either . I ate fruit , a few chicken wings , lots and lots of water and the veggie tray . I was a good girl . Here 's the pre - party spread . Nothing on the back tables yet , it 's coming . Mama always has a program with poems and music and some funnies and then of course I got to say something about the surprise . Daddy waiting for the cue for the music . These kids start out so little when the games begun . We use to not have any that were competitive because there would be hurt feelings if someone won so we always made them team games and not a win / lose kind . It was fun this year , we played games that were modified from the game show Minute to Win It . It was so much fun . And the best , mama and daddy cutting their cake . 50 years guys , that 's a very long time to put up with your partners mistakes and quirks but the most important part , all of their love . Here is the picture of their wedding picture and now . The cutest couple I know . Well it 's a new week and I am sure I will have plenty more to share as the week goes by . Take care my friends and have a great one . God Bless you all ! ! Posted by We have big family reunion on Monday along with all that Independence day offers so I am pretty sure I will not have time to do any type of post . I will after all is said and done but the challenge rules are on or before Monday . So here 's this week 's update : Well really there isn 't much to update really . I have been doing my exercises and have see a great improvement in my arms and back . My stomach , I just don 't know , I think that thing is here to hang around for days to come but … yes but … I am working on it . I have been mental watching myself lately and my posture is not the greatest while I 'm sitting down . Do any of you have that problem ? You just hunch your shoulders , or roll them forward , when you sit down to use the computer or eat ? I do find when I 'm sitting back I sit tall but I am not one to sit in a chair all the way back , I 'm more of the kind of person that lights on a chair for a little bit and jumps back up to do something else . I need to work on that and that just might help the stomach muscles too . My eat hasn 't been spot on . My calories are good ( 1200 or so ) but with Allan not really around I 'm finding it hard to continue with his phase 6 . I am finding I am more eating the good for me , regular stuff in great portions but not by the rules of Phase 6 . I am guessing that is also why I haven 't lost anything again this week . Well the scale read 169 . 9 but that 's just 4 oz of fat gone . Still gone but not enough to really count yet . My week was not a bust though , good exercise , great walking with my 5K in 100 days and eating in the right calorie amounts . Stressed to the gills this week also . I am hoping that next week we can find a space where we are all comfortable . Today is Mike 's last day , I am hoping they wish him well . I still have my full time family gone , another almost full time family gone and one that was a full time cut back to part time so it 's leaving me with just one family most days and well if you took $ 800 . 00 out of your monthly income … I 'm pretty sure you ' Julie
|
Scout had been exposed , one of her sister has died , the other one got it but survived . Terri and Scouts two sisters Scared would be an understatement for Mike right now . She is his heartthrob , she is his life , he loves her so much . I know to some she 's " just a dog " but to Mike , to us , she 's a huge part of our family so would you please , in your prayers today say a prayer for her and Mike . We took a big chunk of our BWCA trip money and got her to the vet today and got her the 2nd series of shots ( we are 25 days behind so are hoping that she was still covered ) and the vet said she looks good but this is just day 5 of the 10 day incubation period so it 's hard to tell . She , the vet , told us what to look for so we 'll be on the look out the next few days . We are not looking at the glass half empty , she will be fine but there 's still the worry . I also took Wilbur because he was exposed X2 this weekend when the puppies came to visit so just to make sure , even though it 's a puppy disease adult dogs can get it but rarely , we got him his shot too . I think our family has had enough stress this summer . We don 't / can 't handle a whole bunch more . I hope that your day is going grand and that life is treating you with respect , love and lots of blessings . Take care my friends and thank you for your prayers . Posted by And we all know this and after doing some soul searching and thinking and more I have come to the conclusion that I am doing terrible at my life style changes this summer . I can blame it on all sorts of things but really that 's stupid . Because other then some stressful issues this summer it 's not much different then last years summer when I was losing weight . Maybe it 's really because I am satisfied with my weight and size . Maybe it 's really because my goals when I started have been met and I 'm learning to maintain . I am not really positive the whys , I just know the knows . So for the month of August I am going to keep on doing what I 'm doing minus the extra pound up here . I 'm still going to count calories , track my food and get what exercise I can in and in September I will get back to the gym and get back to doing the losing part of my life style changes . The Slimmer this Summer Challenge wasn 't a weight loss challenge for me , it was a move my butt challenge and I plan on keeping that up . Not necessarily the exercises I picked but as long as my butts moving and in 10 days I 'll be in the BWCA really moving so that should help too . Our trip will be a minimum of 75 miles paddled , 6 miles of portages and numerous miles of hiking , climbing , swimming and so much more . I know Allan 's phase 6 is still going though I haven 't a clue how anyone is doing because with the new blog Allan doesn 't have that part on it . I 'm not leaving the challenge there either though I 'm not going to shoot for a huge loss . If I can lose the pound I gained , I 'd like to get back into the 160 's and stay there . When September starts back up and I can get back to a regular routine I am sure I can lose a few more pounds and also work more on tightening the muscles and flab I have . So honesty is the best policy and also pretty boring to read . I 'm studying for my bus endorsement , I 'm taking care of 6 kids a day , my garden is amazing so been working in there , with all the rain this summer our grass needs mowing at Julie FLUNK , BIG TIME ! ! ! No counting calories , no extra exercise other then lots of swimming and two walks . I have been just to worried , to busy , to everything to do anything right . Stupid I know and this is a new week but last week was just not the week to do anything I should of . Week 7 was a wash for me but week 8 is here and I have to do what 's right . Not because of the challenge though I have to admit it 's been such a great reason but mostly because I want to be the most healthiest me possible . Sorry I flunked this week but thank God I have a new week to get back on track . I hope you all are getting to the most healthiest you possible . I have been reading lots of your blogs and so many of you are doing so awesome . I am so proud of you all and so proud to be part of this challenge . Take care and have a blessed week . Also , weight it up to 170 . 4 . . . it sucks and it 's not good . Have to fix it , NOW ! ! ! You all know daycare hasn 't been the most profitable this past year . Thinks have changed , people have moved on and my numbers have shrunk so in order for me to keep doing daycare for the family I have left , because you also know that this is my life , I love kids so much and don 't want to do something different , I have found a solution , I am hoping . Meet Julie ( that 's me ) , one of Aitkin County 's new activity bus driver . Now it 's just part time because I 'm still doing daycare but when I talked to the bus garage they were thrilled . You see , the manager of the bus garage has known me since my early teens . He 's known me through driving truck , working at the nursing home and now daycare . I see him at least yearly when they make their first few runs of the year and I talk to him yearly because each year my numbers and kids change for the bus pickup / drop offs . All drivers in our district start off as activity drivers . It 's a chance to get a feel of the job without the rush of a timed schedule . Now to do this I already posses a commercial 's driver license so I don 't have to do that , I need though to get the endorsements for bus driving and safety and then do some practice driving with their instructor . I think there 's a drivers test too with the bus but wasn 't clear about that . I don 't think I 'll have any problems with any of the driving , now the written test … I 'm not good at test , they make me sick really but I will start studying this weekend and hopefully feel able to take the written test next Friday . Oh I have to get a DOT physical too and pay for a background check , about $ 100 . 00 above and beyond what I don 't already have but we 'll figure that out in due time . Because I 've been scared out of my mind I wasn 't going to share this quite yet but you guys have always supported me , prayed for me and my family I 'm once again asking for your support and prayers and courage to step out of my comfortable box and add something really new . It 's the weekend , a quiet relaxing one I thinkJulie I wanted to run so bad tonight . It 's been awhile since I 've been able to just go out and run without it either being so hot I can 't breath or so late it 's dark . So tonight at 7 : 30 I was done for the day , it was 75 * and a bit breezy and I was ready . I grabbed my itouch , turned it on and …… . . crap , nothing . It was dead , so dead it took a few minutes after I plugged it in for it to be able to turn itself on . So I borrowed Mike but his is full of angry music . I know Mike , it 's not angry but it 's that kind where they yell a lot and it 's not my favorite . Anyways I finally got out and got warmed up , ready to go and they found me , those deerflies . I am sure there were enough of them buzzing around my head , biting me and being nasty pest they could of taken me for a ride . I ran as fast as I could , they can fly faster . The hotter I got the more of them showed up . By time I got home ( 3 . 5 miles in 42 minutes ) I was so pissed and scratchy and crabby and beyond hot and tired . I don 't think this is the way a run is suppose to be , yes I moved my butt and moved it fast but my mind was going to explode . I HATE DEERFLIES ! ! ! I hope you all had a great day . Take care and God Bless ! ! Posted by Well first and foremost my weight it up two pounds but I know why and I know at the end of the week it 'll be gone and hopefully the 2 pounds will follow . No worries there , it 's not permanent . Exercise is good . Not always what I planned on for the challenge but my butt is moving . Wilbur and I 've been walking / jogging up to 6 miles at a shot but I 'm not using the C25K program . It makes me feel limited and I want to jog / run as long as I can when I can and right now not interested in someone telling me , run now … walk now … but I 'm out there doing it so exercise is good . Food has not been spot on this weekend . With the heat index in the 100 's I did not do any baking , cooking , grilling or anything . I even went out for supper and ate things that are not on any diet menu but regrets I don 't have , fun I did have and now it 's a new week to eat close to spot on and learn along the way . I have never been on a diet , this is a life style change and change I really have . I know what 's going to bloat me , I know what 's going to clean me out , I know what 's going to make me feel good and what 's going to make me remember why I 'm doing this in the first place . Everyone is on some kind of diet / life style change and we all do it differently but the end goal for all of us is to get healthy , feel good and love ourselves . It 's happening for me and I hope for you too . Take care and have a blessed week . Posted by I have to be honest because well you know that it 's me , I don 't ever pretend to be someone or something I 'm not and I have to tell you I was terrible nervous to meet Michele . You never know what someone will think of you . You never know if it 'll be a difficult meeting . You never know if they 'll come to your humble home and want to escape but … . the minute Michele was at my door I knew there was nothing at all that I had to worry about . She is the sweetest , nicest , most pleasant person to be with and she was very easy to talk to . I am more of a writer , I 'm not that much of a talker but I think it took me about 5 hours before I stopped talking . We didn 't run out of things to say , things to look at , things to do . It was a great visit . Michele brought with her the most amazing lunch for me to try . We had a lettuce salad but not lettuce that I normal have , beets , carrots , grapes , and some very good raspberry dressing , and then some pita bread and turkey too . It was a great lunch and so much fun eating things differently then I do here . For one of our activities I took Michele canoeing . She wanted to learn how to paddle , sit comfortable , and tip and not be afraid . Plus I taught her a couple other things like paddling when the canoe is full of water and also how to get into one . Now that was the hardest part of the day but she did it and she did it well . Mike came out with us too , just to make sure we were okay and also to help empty the canoe so we could do it all over again . Take a peek … Oh I have to tell you , when Michele first got here she wanted a tour of my place so that was what we did and then I took her for a walk . Michele is from the cities and though she gets out plenty and has lots of pastures and meadows they are not quite the same as I have to offer up here . She had such a great time teaching me what the name of this and that butterfly was , this and that tree and those flowers or them flowers . It was so cool to learn some of these things that I just called by their generic names . She also Julie Drum roll please ……… . the named picked out of the hat is ……… . . Pam : EmptyNester has left a new comment on your post " Gotein … review … " : Ok , I 'm IN ! And I want to win ! LOL Seriously . And the runners up for the coupons are : Ronnie Deb Myra So please send me your addresses and I will send out your goodies . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Now for life here . Eat - close , exercise - boring , stress - off the charts but life is good . Tomorrow Michele is driving up here to visit , play and eat with me . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I will be back on Monday . Take care and have a blessed weekend . Posted by Laura from Gotein contacted me : I am writing to tell you about a remarkable new Product called Gotein . Gotein is a protein powder designed for active WLS patients on the Go . Gotein is a protein powder that comes in a convenient stick pack that simply adds to your water bottle . Gotein contains 16 - 17g of Protein , 24 of your daily recommend vitamins and minerals , 1g Sugar , 6 - 7g carbs and 100 - 110 calories . We would love to provide you with samples and a give away prize for a review . Gotein ™ Vanilla packet contains 17 grams of our special protein matrix , 5 grams of carbs , 24 essential vitamins and minerals , and is only 100 calories . Vanilla Gotein ™ is nourishing and delicious for those want to treat their bodies . Gotein ™ Chocolate packet contains 16 grams of our special protein matrix , 6 grams of carbs , 24 essential vitamins and minerals , and is only 110 calories . Chocolate Gotein ™ is nourishing with a delicious chocolate flavor . Gotein ™ Strawberry packet contains 17 grams of our special protein matrix , 6 grams of carbs , 24 essential vitamins and minerals , and is only 110 calories . Strawberry Gotein ™ is also nourishing with a delicious fruit flavor . So I gave it a try . It comes in Strawberry ( which I couldn 't try because I 'm allergic to strawberries but Mike loved it ) , Chocolate , which was fantastic and Vanilla which was so - so . I got to try two of each and I have to admit putting them in water made them taste okay , passable and good for you but I tried them in skim milk and they tasted amazing , yes it added calories but I figured it into my daily calorie and food allowance so I was good . So if you are in need of a quick protein snack before or water your work outs . Or even cuz you hungry and it 's a bit of time before supper I 'd say give these a try . Now they provided me with a sample pack for a give away so just leave me a comment and by Friday I 'll pick a winner . I also have 3 20 % discount coupons that I will send to the runners up . So that means 4 of you will get a chance to give it a try . I thJulie Well you all know that I bowed out of Brad 's 5K in 100 days and he was very kind about it . He even has invited me to join the next group , if and when he starts one up . So today I went back to my C25K training . My calories are better this past week . Not perfect but I took Mir 's suggestion and as I 'm fixing the kids their meals I 'm working hard on at least getting part of mine done . It 's not simple but with lots of thought it 's happening . I am doing very well with my floor exercises . In fact the kids help me count and one of my little ones can now watch the second hand and know when a minute passes . I do however really , really miss working out at the gym . That sounds so weird from a woman who hated just walking to the mail box , wouldn 't lift a weight if she had too , who wouldn 't run , jog , bike or anything . I really miss it . I have some NSV I have thought of this past week . I still am enjoying sitting and holding my leg and still breathing . I love putting lotion on my legs and being able to reach all of them . Trimming my toenails . Folding my shorts and remembering I use to fold my old ones in half and thought there were so huge and now opened wide it 's … well feels so nice . Ribs , collar bone , butt bones … things I 've haven 't seen or felt in so many years and this year I can feel them and see them . Out walking my 6 ' 4 " son and husband with my itty bitty short legs , not always mind you but lots more then it use to be . Being able to bend over , lay bricks and breath . Swimming in a swimsuit and not feeling like a beached whale . Yep , loving the NSV . I sent my weight into Allan for phase 6 , a bit late today , noon my time but late his . 169 . 9 . Not great but not back into the 170 's and hopefully never to be there again . My weight fluxes from 167 - 169 , back and forth all week . Of course on the day to report it 's up even a bit more . But a big deal for me is 60 lbs lost now . I 'll take it , as slow as it 's coming off I 'll still take it . So there you have it , my update . Not perfect , so very slow Julie I wrote Brad last night and told him I just can not keep up with the pace I 've been doing . With working 14 hours a day , working with the scouts getting ready with the BWCA , with my garden , yard and so much more I am not getting in my 3 days a week of 50 - 60 minutes of walking . I am disappointed that I quit after he let me in after he closed this training session but I just can not do it . I am going to go back to the C25K when I can get my walks in and even though I wanted to run the full 5K in October I will just do my best , like I always do with my races and then come this winter I will train for a full run race , maybe even a 10K . I just can 't fit it all in and the stress of feeling like I 've failed Brad just isn 't worth it . Just more of my honesty . I can 't do it all , no matter how important it is I just can 't fit it in right now . I hope you 're having a blessed Sunday . Take care my friends . Posted by That 's what the sunburn is doing now but I can handle that , I can sleep again . Today I taught my venture crew some canoe safety . Which means I put them in a canoe and tipped it , over and over again . Teaching them how to get into a canoe filled with water and paddling it around . Teaching them how to get as much water out of it and getting back into it without filling it up again . How to steer , how to paddle and how to just have fun and not panic when someone wiggles . They did excellent . I was tired cuz it 's a show and tell type teaching . After we worked on that for a couple of hours we then worked on our gear and needs . I think everyone is getting how important all of this prep is before heading to the BWCA for 9 days of no contact with civilization and just us to rely on . I have been starved the past couple of days but have been keeping things in check , pretty close . We are out of fruits and veggies so it 's been hard finding healthy but it 's shopping day tomorrow so that will be great . Exercise hasn 't been up to par . I just am not finding the time , or maybe it 's taking the time cuz I am sitting down now and I could of done something other then my walk before this . I did work hard with the kids today so am counting that . Look at what I found today … Soon we 'll be having our own fresh veggies . The beans looked excellent and starting to bud and the corn is over knee high now , the peppers have flowers and the kohlrabi needs thinning and is health too . I hope you all are having a terrific weekend . Take care and God Bless ! ! ! Posted by Took the kids mini golfing , swimming , a picnic and then tonight canoeing with Mike . A full day in the sun on top of canoeing last evening in the sun too . Exercise is great , the sun is great , the kids were slathered in sun screen , I didn 't think of myself . DUMB ! ! ! I have my own heater wrapped around my head right now . I think if you put a thermometer on my skin it would say … . BURNT ! ! ! Oh well , some cream and cold cloth and tomorrow it 'll be better . Eating has not been spot on . Not terrible mind you but not great . When you spend as much time outside as possible there is no extra time for cooking . I still have daycare 10 - 12 hours a day so of course am cooking 3 meals a day for them and snacks but to plan ahead from me , well it isn 't happening . I know lots of people are busy beyond belief and are able to plan ahead , stick with a plan , be good , strong willed and able … . me , well I 'm still learning and working on it . I have decided that fall , winter and spring are so much easier then summer and I really thought it would be the opposite . I thought busy would make it easier but that 's not true . I read a post just a little bit ago from Laryssa about why we blog , why we tell the truth about our ups and downs and she is so right . Honesty is the best policy . Well honestly I 'm trying but not as hard as I could be . Honestly I need to exercise like I did when I was at the gym . Honestly I can do this , to keep this weight off , to lose the last few pounds , to tone up all that still left hanging around . Honestly it 's just time to really try harder . Will I , honestly ? … . only time will tell . I have been terrible at reading , commenting and even just visiting you all and you still take the time to come here . THANK YOU ! ! ! I promise I 'll find some time to visit and check in and support you , I will ! ! Take care my friends and have a blessed nights rest . Posted by You want to talk about busy . You want to talk about fun . How about you want to talk about a great family and many wonderful friends . That is what my weekend was . We celebrated our 15th family reunion with a party for my mama and daddy 's 50th wedding anniversary . It turned out so great . It was mostly a surprise , I did share with mama a bit ahead and I told daddy the day of . But it was fantastic and the love , cards , sweet comments in the guest book , WOW ! ! ! Here are the pictures to go with out great day . I was told the cake was awesome . I did not have any . In fact I didn 't have any of the sweets except a couple tiny mints the whole day . No chips or dip . No breads either . I ate fruit , a few chicken wings , lots and lots of water and the veggie tray . I was a good girl . Here 's the pre - party spread . Nothing on the back tables yet , it 's coming . Mama always has a program with poems and music and some funnies and then of course I got to say something about the surprise . Daddy waiting for the cue for the music . These kids start out so little when the games begun . We use to not have any that were competitive because there would be hurt feelings if someone won so we always made them team games and not a win / lose kind . It was fun this year , we played games that were modified from the game show Minute to Win It . It was so much fun . And the best , mama and daddy cutting their cake . 50 years guys , that 's a very long time to put up with your partners mistakes and quirks but the most important part , all of their love . Here is the picture of their wedding picture and now . The cutest couple I know . Well it 's a new week and I am sure I will have plenty more to share as the week goes by . Take care my friends and have a great one . God Bless you all ! ! Posted by We have big family reunion on Monday along with all that Independence day offers so I am pretty sure I will not have time to do any type of post . I will after all is said and done but the challenge rules are on or before Monday . So here 's this week 's update : Well really there isn 't much to update really . I have been doing my exercises and have see a great improvement in my arms and back . My stomach , I just don 't know , I think that thing is here to hang around for days to come but … yes but … I am working on it . I have been mental watching myself lately and my posture is not the greatest while I 'm sitting down . Do any of you have that problem ? You just hunch your shoulders , or roll them forward , when you sit down to use the computer or eat ? I do find when I 'm sitting back I sit tall but I am not one to sit in a chair all the way back , I 'm more of the kind of person that lights on a chair for a little bit and jumps back up to do something else . I need to work on that and that just might help the stomach muscles too . My eat hasn 't been spot on . My calories are good ( 1200 or so ) but with Allan not really around I 'm finding it hard to continue with his phase 6 . I am finding I am more eating the good for me , regular stuff in great portions but not by the rules of Phase 6 . I am guessing that is also why I haven 't lost anything again this week . Well the scale read 169 . 9 but that 's just 4 oz of fat gone . Still gone but not enough to really count yet . My week was not a bust though , good exercise , great walking with my 5K in 100 days and eating in the right calorie amounts . Stressed to the gills this week also . I am hoping that next week we can find a space where we are all comfortable . Today is Mike 's last day , I am hoping they wish him well . I still have my full time family gone , another almost full time family gone and one that was a full time cut back to part time so it 's leaving me with just one family most days and well if you took $ 800 . 00 out of your monthly income … I 'm pretty sure you ' Julie
|
So , it 's been a long time since I blogged last . . . Lame ! Oh well . . . when was the last time YOU blogged ? ( that 's what I thought ! ) Anywho . . . so . . . first things first . I went and watched New Moon a little while ago . Greg , Shaina and I hit up the midnight showing . There were a few people in there , but not too many . So that was nice . You want my honest opinion of the show ? Okay . . . it was not as bad as Twilight , and Taylor Lautner as Jacob is an EXCELLENT idea ! But here 's what I 've noticed about the movies and why they bug me SO bad . . . . There is absolutely NO EMOTION coming from the actors / actresses . It 's pathetic . Bella and Edward totally annoy me . . . When they say " I love you " it 's like they 're saying , " i bought toilet paper at the store today . " Nothing ! I mean , granted the books can go into details about thoughts , feelings , and emotions , I get that . . . but a good actor can portray those feelings and emotions the way they should be done . I also was annoyed that they downplayed Jacob a lot . I really appreciate the fact that they showed him shirtless a lot . . . and in the rain . . . but I don 't think they did him justice at all ! I don 't know how to explain it , but they just downplayed him a lot ! But . . . there were some super cool parts , like at the beginning when Alice leaps over the railing on the stairs . That was way cool ! And Jasper 's face . . . doesn 't get any better than that . . . Oh . . . and when they 're running through the forest in slow motion ! Wow ! I can 't wait for the next movies ! But it was totally cheesy , they need a better Bella and Edward , and they should make a movie ALL ABOUT JACOB ! mmm . . . he is the best thing to happen to that movie ! So yeah . . overall it was cheesy , and LONG , and they should have just ended the movie / book with Edward dying . . . but then I wouldn 't want Jacob to end up with Bella , so it 's a toughy . . . But yeah . . . the movie bugged me mostly because there is no emotion ( aka bad acting ) . . . so . . . yeah . . I think that 's all I 'm going to say about that . . . except for . . . TAYLOR LAUTNER ! ! Go Team Jacob ! ! ! Nothing else going on around here . . 6 comments So , last year around this time for our combined mutual activity , we had a dinner for the widows in our ward , then our bishop took them to watch the Nutcracker . Well , he promised us last year that since we did that last minute service , he would take us to the Nutcracker this year . He paid up last night . It was my first time EVER watching the Nutcracker ( well , I watched the Barbie Nutcracker once . . . I don 't really remember why . . . it was just recently too . . . haha , I had it on tv while I was on my computer ) ANYWAY . . . and it was my first time to a ballet , kinda . ( I went to the ones that SV would put on in Cokeville . . but I don 't really remember them . . . ) It was pretty good though . I used to want to be a ballerina , but Cokeville only offers so many extra - curricular activities like that . . . ( wait . . . they don 't offer any ! ) so that dream was shattered , but not before receiving a pink tutu for Christmas ( I have pictures , but I 'm too lazy to scan them in ! ) I had forgotten though that there is no talking in ballet , so for the first few minutes I kept expecting them to burst out in song or something . . . lol , but they didn 't . The first scene was actually kind of boring . There wasn 't much " ballet " . . . and I was pretty bummed , but it got better and better . Especially when the men came out ! ( HA ! ) Really . . . I know that it 's been this way forever , but can they not have the men wear pants ? Ugh . . . haha . . . Let 's just say when I say they were wearing tights . . . they were TIGHT ! ! ! Especially the very last guy . . . haha . . . he was really good , but . . . you could see every muscle . . . and well , everything else ! I guess that 's the ballet though . It really was good , and the dancers did a good job . It was fun to hear some familiar songs , and actually see where they came from . . . I would go to it again . . . ( maybe ! ) haha . . . So that was a new experience for me . And . . . I was editing some pics and wanted to share these . I 'm too lazy to upload to photobucket , so you 'll have to click on them to get larger . Poor Aidan . . . . but we were able to get a smile out of him ! 9 . Electricity . . . even though half the power goes out quite often , I 'm still grateful for it , and grateful that at least 1 / 2 of it stays on ( and that half happens to be the circuit our computers and TV are on . . THE MOST important circuit ! ) haha . . . 10 . Family . . . I love both sides of my family , and I 'm so grateful for each and everyone of them . For loving me , for being forgiving , for being there for me , and for randomly texting me about things that happened during the day . 11 . Military men and women . . . I have quite a few family members and friends who are / were in the military , and I am truly grateful to those who are willing to risk their lives for the freedoms we enjoy today . . . ( and of course I 'm grateful for their families too ! ) 12 . Ice cream . . . Nothing can be more of a comfort food than ice cream . Mint chocolate chip is my fave , of course , but almost any kind will do ! 13 . Laughter . . . especially when I 'm able to laugh with Greg about the dumbest things in the world . I also love the sound of children laughing . . . 14 . Nice hot bubble baths . . . so relaxing . . . . 15 . My ability to play the piano . . . There are very few things I feel comfortable doing in front of people . . . playing sports is one . . . playing the piano is the other . Not that I don 't get nervous , because I do . . . but I am always willing to play the piano , and I 'm grateful for all of the piano teachers I had over the years , and for their patience with me . They were all great teachers ! and also being able to play the organ . Thanks grandma for teaching me how to play it ! 16 . Photography . . . i love photography so much ! And I 'm grateful to be able to use it to capture moments and memories and feelings . 17 . Digital Scrapbooking . . . Yes . . I 'm obsessed with it . I could do it all day , everyday if I could . . . ( wait . . . I pretty much do ! ) It 's been fun to learn a new craft and to get a new hobby . Plus I get to stretch my creativity to reach new levels . 18 . The Gospel and my testimony . . . They have both grown so much over the past few years , and I 'm grateful for the principles that the gospel teaches . 191 comment Friends : I have had a lot of good friends through the years . I was lucky enough to live in a small town where you pretty much have to be friends with everyone , but it was a good thing because I became super good friends with people I normally wouldn 't . I was very lucky to make friends with the younger girls , Jenna and Lindsay . . . lol . . . I have a lot of funny memories of these two . . . Dressing up for halloween , driving down Stoner Ave , letting Lindsay drive my car when she was only 14 ( maybe 15 ! So scary ! ) haha . . . A day trip to Evanston with Jenna . Volleyball and basketball trips . . . Even now that it 's been many years later , and I don 't stay in touch with them as much as I could / should . . . I know that if I were to call either of them on the phone , we 'd be able to chat it up like the old days . Even younger than them , thanks to a special ward girl 's camp we had , I made friends with some 8th graders my senior year . Camille and Talisha became fast best friends . Even though they are a lot younger than I am , I had a lot of fun talking to them and hanging out . Now that we are all graduated , and again , I don 't see them as much as I 'd like to or talk , when i do see them it 's great to get a big hug and be able to re - connect our friendship ( haha . . . is that even a real term ? ! ) Of course , there are the girls in my HS class . For the most part all 5 of us have been together forever . . . at least that 's what it seems . Not that we never had fights , because we sure did . . . but at the end of the day we were still friends . ( Sorry Tiff isn 't in this pic ! ) I made some awesome friends through my photography class . Photography was awesome . . . having only 6 people in the class we were all able to become good friends . One in that class became my best friend during my senior year , and I 'll always be grateful for that . Two were my cousins , and boy oh boy . . . was that fun to be able to hang out with them in class ( especially when Forrest wasn 't there ! lol ) and two were foreign exchange students . One from Sweden ( Sofie ) , one from Germany ( Jana ) . Jana was also on my 1 comment ( I 'm really trying to get caught up ! I 'm just so slow ! Too much to do , so little time ! ) McDonald 's fries . . . I know . . . that 's why I 've gained 20 pounds since HS ! I will admit it . . lol . . . but seriously friends . I would die without McDonald 's fries . They are seriously the best ever . When Greg and I get fast food , we usually order our burgers or whatever from wherever we want , then get our fries from McDonalds . They are the best when they are fresh out of the fryer . . . mmmm . . . my mouth is watering just thinking about them . . . I could eat them everyday if I weren 't concerned about my health . . . ( lol , right ! ) I honestly crave them at weird times ( mostly in the middle of the night . . . ) But they make me happy , and even though I don 't really like a lot of MD 's other foods . . . I could always eat their fries . . . just thought you should know ! ( this may also be why I will die at an early age ! ) but at least I 'll die happy and full of MD fries ! : ) * * * ATTENTION ALL . . . IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 23 . . . KINDLY AVERT YOUR EYES ( OR IF YOU ' RE MY GRANDMA ! hahahahaha just kidding grandma . . . you might enjoy this as well ! ) * * * I 'm thankful for . . . . . . . . . . . . hahahah ! ! JK ! ! But yeah . . . that totally makes me excited to see Twilight ! ! ! but my REAL " I 'm thankful for " might actually sound a little silly . . . ( haha , Greg and I are watching some " dumbest blonde " moments on TV , and I think this might rank in there . . . I 'm kinda tired . . but I had these thoughts driving home tonight . . ) I 'm thankful for IMAGINATION ! Seriously folks . Wouldn 't life be so completely boring if no one had an imagination ? Sometimes I have an overactive imagination . For instance . . . when I drive , doesn 't matter if it 's day or night I see things in the trees and bushes . Ever since I hit a deer a long time ago driving home in the dark , that has been my driving paranoia . . . I see probably 500 ' deer ' when I drive to Cokeville and back . I have often seen bears , and a pig , and just tonight I saw the monster thingy from " Where the Wild Things Are . " Of course when I see them at first , I freak out . . . but once I pass them and realize that they aren 't really anything . . . I have to laugh . Yes , this happened tonight which is why I am making this post ! It just got me to thinking . . . how boring would my drives be if I didn 't constantly imagine these things . I have to laugh at myself at how dumb my imagination is being . . . ( can you blame that ? ! ) But beyond myself and my imagination . . . think of your children ( or in my case . . . nieces and nephews ) . . . Think of all the silly things they say and do . . . What would you do if your child had no imagination ? You wouldn 't laugh and smile half as much as you do . . . am I right ? I just think of Lilli . . . pretending she 's a wizard and using anything she can as a wand ( got this from a long ago post by my sister ) . . . everytime I read about anything like that . . . I just laugh . And seeing some of the outfits she 's created . . . what a nerd ! It 's amazing to me what some people can come up with . . . and all due to their imaginations ! Ok1 comment Movies that are so dumb they 're funny ! There are a lot of good movies out there , and I do love them , but come on . . . the best ones are the ones that are so dumb they 're funny ! When you 're having a downer day . . . there 's nothing better than cuddling with the hubby on the couch and watching dumb movies and laughing ! ! Here 's my list of favorite ' dumb ' movies ! Yes . . . . I 'm not going to lie ! I love the HSM series ! # 2 is my favorite . The last song totally rocks . I haven 't seen all of 3 yet , but don 't worry I will . . . . I LOVE Legally Blonde 1 AND 2 . . . This is the Platinum Collection ( thanks Shari and Ben ! ) It makes me laugh everytime I watch it . I used to watch it every night to fall asleep . . . Great movies ! Napoleon Dynamite . . . CLASSICOut Cold . . . SO funny . I saw this first at college . . . there are few movies I could watch more than once . . . this is one of them ! Employee of the Month . . . . LOVE it . I think it 's hellarious ! Especially having worked retail . . . Could watch this all the time too ! Empire Records . . . . MY NAME ' S NOT WARREN ! ! HAHAHA . . . Kicking and Screaming . . . this movie CRACKS ME UP ! Will Ferrill is so funnyAccepted . . . another great one . . . And the classic Christmas movies . . . Elf . . . Love the part where he jumps on the couch to put the star on top . SO funny ! The Muppets Christmas Carol . . . okay , not a dumb movie , I just added in with my fave Christmas shows . This is probably my favorite version of a Christmas Carol ( this and the OLD disney one where donald duck is scrooge . . . I don 't know if anyone remembers it . . . but i loved that one too . . ) And of course A Christmas Story . . . Brady and I would get up REALLY early Christmas morning and watch this over and over . . . haha . . I don 't think I need to explain it , but it 's pretty funny ! There are so many movies so dumb they make me laugh , but this is all you get for now ! So yeah . . . I 'm thankful for movies so dumb they 're funny so I can spend my evenings relaxing with Greg on the couch . . . laughing at the dumbness ! ! ! Good books . At the beginning of summer the bookstore in the mall was having a closeout sale , so Greg and I went in and found a lot of books for 50 % off . Since then I 've found more and more books that I have loved and usually get a good deal on them . I have always loved reading . I even remember the first chapter book I read . . . Sweet Valley Kids : Runaway Hampster . Then onto Nancy Drew , Ariana series , and so on and so forth . I have a hard time finding books I like , because I really don 't like the adult fiction books . So I decided to just check out the Young Adult section , and I 've found a ton of books I like ( and before you make fun of me for reading young adult books . . . Twilight is young adult . . . ! ; ) But anyway , so here are some good reads that I have found and loved ! I love series . Because if I like the first one , there 's a good chance I 'll like the next ones . . . then I don 't have to look for books I want to read . . I bought the first one used , and really liked it . The rest of the series is alright , but kind of drags out . I think I skimmed through most of the 4th book . AND there 's one more ! All I can say is she better marry Marcus or I 'll be VERY upset ! These are by Megan McCafferty . This is another series that I liked , but REALLY drags on . There are also 5 in this series . I haven 't read # 5 yet ( and just checked out # 4 from the library ) . They 're about some friends who had one friend die and no one knew why or how . Then the other friends start getting threatening texts from A who knows things that only the friend that died knew , and if they tell anyone about it , the stalker will tell people their secrets . She also kills one of the girls because she figured out who was sending the texts . But I 'm kind of annoyed because they find out who the killer is in # 4 , so that killer goes to jail , then in 5 someone else is back stalking them . Really . . . just let it end ! lol . . but still good . They 're by Sara ShepardSarah Dessen has become one of my favorite authors . Her books are probably the cleanest non - LDS books that I 've read . These ar8 comments I know , I got a bit behind on this , but I 'm working on it ! : ) But I am thankful to have lived in places where we can celebrate all four seasons ! Sure I love winter the most , but I could honestly say I think I 'd go crazy if it was freezing ALL the time . The same goes for summer . Rain , however . . . is a different story . . . but for the sake of this post , we 'll just skip past that ! As I look out my window right now and watch it cloud over . . . I am REALLY hoping that it will snow . I just can 't imagine what it would be like to grow up and never see snow ! What fun memories would you have of having it snow so much that CHURCH GOT CANCELLED ! or memories of sledding with the Teicherts ? Or running Shari 's fairly new car off the road because it was icy and never telling her ( at least I think I was smart enough not to ! ) lol . . . Or spinning cookies , and nearly dying by the railroad tracks ? And the list goes on . . . Now , I 'm not gonna lie and say I never have complained about the weather , because I have . . . but one thing I 've learned over the past few years is . . . I have NO control over the weather , so there 's no point in complaining to the world about it ! I will say , " Its SO COLD . " But I 'm not complaining . I would rather freeze to death than burn . . . lol . . . but really . Aren 't you glad you get to experience all four seasons , even though I think Spring kinda gets rushed because we have long winters , but we do get to experience them all , and I 'm thankful for that ! Spring . . . notice the snow still on the ground ! : ) It 's the only picture I have that was taken around " Spring time . " ( greg at the HOgle zoo when we went for Spring Break ) Summer . . . I had a better picture , but I couldn 't find it . Plus I thought the sun flair was cool in this . . Fall . . . I think this one goes way too fast too . . . But I do love when the leaves change and fall to the ground . And . . . of course . . . WINTER ! ! ! Gotta love it ! OH . . . and PS . . . this isn 't to say I wouldn 't LOVE to live in , say , California , or Florida , or Hawaii . . . because I SOOOO would . . . but I will always be grateful that I have lived 2 comments 3 Adorable Nieces and 6 Adorable Nephews ! Wow ! That 's a lot ! I remember when I didn 't have any , and now I have NINE ! And I love each and every one of them ! Jeshua - Holy moly this kid has SO much energy ! He is always on the go . ( and I keep hearing that that 's how Greg would act when he was younger ! lol ) He is so smart and says the funniest things ! Kyla This cute little girl always seems to be looking for trouble , always teasing her little brother , or teasing her aunts and uncles . . . but she is still a cutie ! She used to not even come near me , but I guess actually getting to spend time with her , she has grown to like me a little bit ! : ) LillianOh goodness ! This child ! She is so funny and such a stinker ! She is constantly cracking me up , and I love hearing all the cute things that she randomly says . Noriko - What a doll . She is the quiet one , who doesn 't say much , but has such big brown eyes , they just melt your heart ! Jacob This kid gets more bumps and bruises than anyone I know ( could be just when Uncle Greg is around , but still ! ) Last I was around him , he wasn 't talking , but he makes noises so you can be sure you know what he 's thinking . It 's rather funny . He also loves reading books , and goes through probably 50 ( if not more ) a day ! AlexanderI love his smile ! He is so funny and such a cheeser . I really wish I got to see him more ! : ( AidanLove that the boys look nothing alike . They are both so cute in their own unique ways ! I love Aidans big eyes . . . so sweet , and I love his little smile too . Can 't believe they 're almost a year old ! ! Seiji - I have only seen this little guy like twice , and both times he just curled right up against my chest . Love cuddly babies ! He is adorable , and looks a lot like his older brother . AustinWhat a little chunk ! But I just love him . I am his favorite aunt too . . . He is such a good baby , and so adorable . Don 't ya just want to squeeze those cheeks ? Aren 't they all just adorable ? ! ? Yes , I think so too . I wish I got to see them a whole lot more though ! They grow up way too fast , and I don 't see them n1 comment HEALTH ! ! ! ! Last Saturday my throat started hurting , and I was REALLY hoping that I wasn 't getting sick . A bunch of the girls on my volleyball team have been really sick , and being around that all week , it wouldn 't have surprised me if I did get sick , but I hoped I wasn 't going to . Well , Sunday we had stake conference , but I gotta admit , I just slept in . . . and I woke up starting to feel a little achey . Not horrible , but not fun . That night was HORRIBLE for sleeping though . I had a terrible headache , and to make things worse , I COULD NOT SLEEP ! Well , I could , but every time I seemed to close my eyes , I started having MESSED up dreams ! Seriously so weird ! I 've been reading vampire books lately , and in my dreams I was one of the girls trying to kill bad vampires . I thought I was going crazy ! It was so bad . Needless to say I didn 't get much sleep ! Well , my sickness continued throughout the week . It was bad . I have never been sick for so long , so it was NOT fun ! The worst part is I didn 't feel like doing ANYTHING ! It was the last week of volleyball too , but I didn 't go to any practices , and I missed one game . I was going to go to the game , but one of the coaches had a baby not to long ago , premature , so I didn 't want to risk getting her sick , in addition to the girls on my team . So I just stayed home . I did go to our last home game , but I was miserable the whole time . Needless to say , I 'm glad it 's over ! I am feeling a little better today , but still have a nasty cough ! As long as I can sleep at night , though , I 'm not too concerned . I 'll survive , but it still really makes me grateful for my health ! I don 't know how I would handle it if I were constantly sick with any other type of disease . . . Sometimes I think I have colitis , but sometimes I don 't . . . ( haha . . . that 's probably only funny to the people who know what I 'm talking about ! ) But still . I 'm grateful to have my health , and even though it SUCKS to have a cold , I know that it will go away soon enough , and I will be healthy again ! : ) Happy November 1 everyone ! So Friday night Lacey and I took our 5 senior girls down to Salt Lake for their " senior trip . " We went out to eat , then headed over to Nightmare on 13th . It was so much fun . I love the senior girls we have . They are so much fun , so whatever we did was going to be fun . And though they really wanted to go to Disneyland . . . our budget just wouldn 't have covered it . But it was loads of fun . I don 't do scary very well , so I was a little nervous about it . Last year Nightmare on 13th was rated one of the scariest haunted attractions in America by the Travel Channel . They even did a little video about them , I guess . I have also never been to a haunted house , so I was pretty excited about that . The entire thing took about an hour , and we didn 't even have to wait on line . If you plan on going , buy your tickets online and you can get a VIP Pass ( no waiting in line ) and an additional few rooms for way cheap ( ER ) . I think it was like $ 20 - $ 25 , but compare to $ 35 it 's a good deal ! ; ) Anyway , so I get scared really easy , so I made sure I wasn 't first . There were two girls in front , I was with three girls in the middle , then Heidi and Lacey brought up the back . lol . I did NOT want to go first , and I 'm glad I didn 't ! I made sure I was always close to someone . It wasn 't really too bad . The times I got freaked out the most was when the stupid people would get in my face . It freaks me out SO bad ! ! I 'm sure they are told to do that , but I wanted to push them away . Seriously . Like I had some dude get in my face , so I covered it and turned around and he was STILL there when I uncovered my face . NOT cool ! Lol . I 'm sure they find it totally hilarious though ! It also didn 't help that Lacey was behind me POINTING AT ME and mouthing " Scare her ! " What a brat ! lol . . . I had one chick totally breathe on me too when she was up in my face . Totally gross ! Kinda made me mad so I just pushed pass her . I did jump quite a bit , but none of it really freaked me out . There was a room with mirrors that I closed my eyes through the ENTIRE thing ! ! lol . I don 't do4 comments but I seriously CT for the most AMAZING designer ever . She totally rocks , and I love working with her . Check out this little element pack that she made ( just for me btw ! ! ! ) I LOVE LOVE LOVE it , and figure some of you volleyballers might love it too ! ! Haha ! They totally make me smile ! Alright , this is kind of exciting news . . . more for 2 lucky people out there , but still excited to get my name out there a little more . Anyway . . . on MONDAY OCTOBER 5 , I will be giving away 2 packs of 25 cards / invitations at Today 's Give Away . All you have to do is enter . . . nothing fancy . . . Though I would REALLY appreciate it if you helped me spread the word . I will be re - newing this post EVERY DAY UNTIL TUESDAY so you don 't forget ! ! Plus to all the not - so - lucky winners . . . You 'll get a discount ( don 't ask me how much . . . i forgot ! ) But just check that blog on Monday , and you 'll see ! ! THANKS ! ! 1 comment I used to love to scrapbook . I was lucky ( or spoiled , depending on which word you prefer ) enough to have my own room . The summer before my junior year , my parents gave me bedroom a makeover and part of the makeover included a massive desk . PERFECT for scrapbooking . . . I wouldn 't have to spread all my crap all over my floor ( though I still did ! ) Well . . . now that I am in my own house . . . I don 't really have much space for all my crafting . Most of my scrapbook stuff is shoved in those plastic storage things under my little desk in my living room . The stuff I don 't use as much I recently moved to our " storage " room . ( pretty much the extra room in our house where we SHOVED everything that doesn 't fit outside of that room . . . seriously , don 't try to go in there . You might not come out alive ! ) Well . . . for mutual Wednesday we made recipe books using scrapbook stuff . I was in charge , so I busted out almost all my scrapbook stuff ( half of which I didn 't use by the way ! ) Well . . . long story short . . . it 's still out ! I have no desire to put any of it away . I am now reminded why I don 't scrapbook as much anymore ! ( that and digi scrapping is SO MUCH COOLER ! ) It 's just such a hassle to put things away ! I mean I have SO many other things I could be doing . . . . . . . . ( LOOOONG awkward pause ! ) anyway . . yeah . . i was just reminded of that ! Pretty lame , I know . I just have nothing exciting to say . . . well , I do . . . but it 's more of a venting rage about certain things , and while I think most of YOU people ( meaning Cokeville people ) would understand . . . I don 't know who reads my blog , so I will wait until AFTER certain things are said and done before I vent about them . . . I can 't risk getting in trouble as I already have nightmares about it ! HAHA ! okay . . . enough making no sense to you guys ! It rained all last night , and it was awesome . I fell asleep to the rain , and woke up to the rain . . ( very early at 5 : 00 ! Yes . . . be proud of me ! ) plus there was snow on the mountains , and that rocked . . . unless you 're my sis - in - law whose car window we tried to tape shut didn ' t4 comments So I 've mentioned this little girl before , but she is such a doll . The daughter of the girl I coach with ( I think she 's 4 ? ) is just the funniest girl ever . So , back in summer , i would have Lacey give me rides home from summer workouts , and everytime we would tell her little girl that I was going to live with them . She did not like that one bit . lol . . she would start crying and say I would have to live in the wild . Well , once volleyball started , Lacey would tell me all these funny things she would say . Like this one time they had stopped to get lunch and she asked Lacey if she could eat in the car . Lacey said she could , but then she said she would just eat it when they got to the school . Then this little girl says , " Never mind I 'll eat it now so Breanne won 't eat it . " Lol . . . what ? ! ? haha . I don 't even know why she thought that . Well , today , I show up to practice , and Brightyn is sitting on the floor playing her PSP ( ? ) and she had a lunch bag right next to her . I won 't over by her , and went to set my keys and phone down and she grabs the bag and pulls it towards her . I didn 't really think anything of it , then Lacey started laughing and told me that on the way to the gym Brightyn said ( something similar to ) , " If I hide my lunch do you think Breanne will eat it ? " haha . . . I asked Lacey if that 's why she grabbed the bag when I went to set my stuff down . I wasn 't even going for the bag ! lol , it was so funny . I mean I tease her when she has like treats and stuff , but for some reason , she never wants to share with me , and she thinks I 'm going to steal all of her stuff ! I find it pretty funny . She 's so funny , and quite fun to tease . I just find it hilarious that she thinks that I 'm always going to steal her lunch . . . . . anyway , that 's all . . . I think i need to go to bed ! Ha ! LOVE MY BLOG ? ! ? Yeah . . . I 'm already changing it to make it more festive ! : ) For now enjoy it in all its boringness ! ! ! ( I 'm too tired to fix it tonight . . . I 'm running off of about 4 hours of sleep . . . . ) I know the holidays are like FOREVER away , right ? But it 's never too early to start thinking about your holiday cards ! Here are some I recently came up with to show off the different sizes I can do , and to also show off some of my mad design skills ! ;) ( totally playin . . . I 'm WAY tired . . so sorry if this is a little LOOPY ! ) How this works : browse through my designs and pick out something you like ( or if you want something totally different , that 's okay too ! ) Head over to this link : http : / / btadesigns . com / WAOrderForm . html and fill out the form ( I know its for wedding announcements , but I haven 't got the order form up for Holiday cards ! Sorry … I 'm still re - constructing the site ! : ) The more descriptive you are , the faster I can have a proof to you . If you don 't have a specific design in mind , just tell me all of your ideas , and I 'll come up with something . The proofing process is free , and I can generally have a proof back to you within 24 hours . Once the proofing process is complete , and you are 100 % happy with what we 've come up with , I will send it in to be printed . Before I can send it in however , I will need to receive the payment in full . I currently accept cash or check ( cashier 's or personal ) . It will take approximately 1 - 2 weeks to receive your order , unless you are ordering a digital copy only , then you will receive that as soon as payment is received . No refunds unless an error is made on my end . I will NEVER send your order to printed until I receive a 100 % OKAY from you . I will also accept photos not taken by me . Sometimes the candid photos make for the best cards . However , if the photos are not done by me , then I will need a copyright release from the photographer . Wow ! That was a lot of info ! If you have any questions , feel free to email me ! I 'll be happy to work with youOkay , now onto the designs . . . and I may sound like totally snobby , but I think these are totally cute ! ! haha ! Here ya go . . . Beginning with one of my faves : ( click on them to see them bigger ) a 5x5 tri - fold . So many options whe2 comments to get a whole bunch of other stuff done . . . but then I decided I wanted to change my blog background . . . You see , I don 't like the typical blog backgrounds . . . I have to design my own . . . so . . . that 's what I did ALL NIGHT LONG ! ! ! I took ideas from HERE , HERE , HERE , and HERE and a few random sites I found to come up with what I did . . . and ya know . . . . I kinda like it . . . just kinda though . . . i plan on changing it , but I learned some new fun things , like putting signatures . . . pretty sweet , right . . . . so now . . . who wants their blog re - done ? kidding ( kinda ) the point is . . . I am so tired , and shouldn 't have done it ! I had a million and one other things to do . . but this is how I spent my night . . . . the end ! Anywho . ( I think I 've already posted most of this , but here is a QUICK run - down , plus pics at the end ! ! ! ! ) The last week in July / First of August was my sis - in - law Adrienne 's wedding . I got to spend a lot of time with my sisters - in law getting things ready for the wedding . We made all the desserts , and the cake ( which I didn 't upload a picture of . . . but I will . . . ) All of the bridesmaids had a bachelorette party the night before the wedding , painted toes and fingernails and chatted about life . Great fun . The wedding was so beautiful and Adrienne looked GORGEOUS ! We are SO happy for her and Mark . . . and like I 've said before , we REALLY hope that they get to move back closer to home . We haven 't been able to see them much this past year as they moved to Kentucky then to Philadelphia . We sure miss them ! ( though I 'm still thinking a girl 's week back East would be super fun ! ; ) Anyway . . . here are a FEW pics from the weekend . I have so many . . . I just really wanted to get some up . . . I 'm such a basket case right now . . . too much going through my head . . . haha , so sorry if this is all rambled ! JUST SKIP TO THE PICS ALREADY ! Here are the two flower girls . Kyla and Allie . . . They looked darling in the dresses that Adrienne made for them . . . and surprisingly , they looked totally similar . You 'd have to check my facebook for pics of their similarity , but it was crazy . . . This is my fave pic of Kyla . She 's such a doll ! And just TWO of my favorites of the couple . . . . LOVE this one . . . ( Love it even more in color , but uploaded this one instead ! ) But still . . gorgeous ! They make a great couple , huh ? Welcome to our blog . We are Greg & Bre , though Greg is a very silent partner in this social media business . We have been married for 11 years . Greg is a Middle School Counselor , and Bre is a Member Service Representative at a Credit Union ( aka , teller , loan officer , etc . ) We are enjoying life in Utah , though we are both from Wyoming . We are pretty much the most boring couple in the world , but we still love each other and have fun together . This is a place to document our " adventures . " May 27 , 2016
|
What would you do if you woke up one morning with no running water ? You call the landlord or the water company and noone answers the phone . Or maybe the phone doesn 't work . You go talk to one of those neighbors you never talk to and find out they also don 't have any water . The power is out as well . The whole block has no utilities . What will you do ? Will you work together to solve the problem ? Where will you get water if not from your faucet ? What will you do when your toilet doesn 't flush ? Where will your waste go ? How will you cook your food ? Or keep it cold ? How will you keep your family warm in the winter and cool in the summer if the central heat and AC don 't work ? Do you have a back up plan if this ever happens to you ? Could it happen ? Yes , it could . Think about the resources you take for granted every day . Water , food , electricity , waste disposal , transportation . What is your plan if any or all of these resources disappears ? Look in your cupboards . How long will your family survive on what you have stored there ? Do you have a way to cook when your electric stove stops working ? How long can you go without food and water ? Do you know ? Do you have a storage of water for emergencies ? Do you have a way to provide light or heat if a storm knocks the power out for a few days ? How about 30 days ? What if it went out and never came back on ? What if you drive to the gas station and they are out of gas ? Every gas station in town suddenly closes or raises their prices to ridiculous heights because gas is scarce . What will you do ? Or , you put your trash out on the curb but the trash pickup never happens . Weeks go by and the trash builds up . Now what ? Most people don 't think about these things . Should we ? Shouldn 't we all have a back up plan ? There is a certain peacefulness and reassurance feeling of a fire in a woodstove . The smell and the warmth combined relax me and ease the stress that comes from everything suddenly going wrong . . . The kids and I have temporarily moved in to the guest house . Ever since we got home from Thanksgiving travels , everything has decided to malfunction . The heater for the new trailer was taken to the shop for repair . Jamie found a replacement part cheaper than what the repair shop had it for and we 'll hopefully have it working within a week . The water heater refused to come back on and then the solar power system started doing strange things . ( Thankfully after I got in a good day of sewing ! ) I was so cold yesterday that I could not keep my hands warm enough to do anything with them . I was so cold that I couldn 't think . I ended up putting the kids in the car and driving into Livermore to sit in the warm library for a few hours using their electricity . When I got home , we moved into the guest house so that we could be warm while trying to come up with a plan . The lesson I have learned this month is that modern RV travel trailers are very reliant on electricity . The oven & stove seem to do ok on only propane , but the fridge , heater and water heater all need electricity to run even though they are propane appliances . I find this rather irritating . I think you all should consider yourselves warned . So , we 've got a fix for the heater . Now what do we do about the water heater ? I 'm not sure . If Shannon and Jamie can both look at the thing and get frustrated , I 'm not sure that I could do much better . As far as the electricity goes , I am thinking a generator is a good backup for times like these and am going to go shopping for one as soon as possible . I have a feeling that life will just happen this way whenever I feel like I might have some extra cash soon . Lesson # 2 is to have a better emergency fund plan and don 't get my hopes up too soon . So here I am , using Shannon 's generator to run my computer and enjoying the comforting warmth Posted by There is a lot that I love about the way I am living , but as we deal with a dysfunctional heater in the freezing cold , I am thinking about the things I do miss that I had before we moved here . Obviously , I miss living within reasonable distance of a store or shop that could fix the heater for us . Right now the heater is in San Jose with Jamie . Between he and Shannon , it 's malfunction is a mystery and Jamie decided to take it to someone who could help . So I continue to warm the house up by cooking and baking a lot . It does work pretty well , since we live in such a small space , but I suspect a heater would be a better way . I also miss having a washer and dryer . I have a ton of laundry to do and I find that the laundromat ordeal is tiring when you have to drive 45 minutes to get there . If it was just me , I think it would be far easier and more tolerable . But , with the kids and cats also living here and making things dirty , there is an overwhelming amount to do if I miss a week . If it was warm , I could wash some things here and hang them out to dry , but in this cold nothing is really getting dry that I hang on the line . I wonder sometimes if we will ever have a solar power system that can handle a washer and dryer and sigh longingly . The third biggest thing I miss is having a social life . I really enjoyed spending time with friends knitting and sewing together or going out for coffee . It is entirely impractical for any of my friends who knit to pop in for a few hours for a Stitch & Bitch . I also can no longer hold learn to knit / sew sessions . I 'm really bummed about this and I am hoping I can find some interest in Livermore at least to have a knit together meet up at the coffee shop , maybe on Sunday afternoons before I pick up the kids . All of this really boils down to how far out in the middle of nowhere I am living . When I decided to move out here , I NEEDED to get out this far . It was so clear to me at the time and such a HIGH need , that I didn 't see it easing up any time soon . Now that I am feeling more comfortable iPosted by There are many parts of life that one needs to experience in order to know what sorts of things one might need in that situation . I think this is very true about winter and where I am living . I knew that it would get cold and that I would want a way to heat the trailer . I went through a lot of ideas and took in a lot of advice from Shannon . ( I am beginning to think of Shannon as my personal Jiminy Cricket . ) I also knew it would rain a lot and snow a bit . I knew it would get ice - freezing cold . There are some preparations that were self - evident . The kids and I all need good coats and socks and warm pajamas . The van needs chains and emergency supplies inside it . And we need to make sure that everything stays water tight . So I have been picking up supplies for the van here and there as I find them and even have started stocking it with snacks and water . Both kids have warm coats and socks and pajamas . I have found all of the winter camping gear I 'd been gathering for years , which gave us the wondrous Expedition - weight Smartwool socks that Maia and I have been wearing like slippers every night . The old decrepit trailer has been surprisingly water tight other than the obvious unrepaired holes that I have covered with a tarp . I am feeling amazingly prepared . I only wish I had a wood stove , as I do have wood . So what have I learned since the freezing temperatures and rain have encroached upon our little gypsy homestead ? First of all , the wind out here blows extremely hard ! My porch swing went flying one day and landed a few feet away from where I had it and fell over . It has no effective way of staking it down so I am thinking that sandbags will be the solution . Also , the mud is totally unavoidable . I have a long history of driving 2wd vehicles through less than ideal conditions and not getting stuck , but the minivan isn 't exactly an adventure vehicle and I do need to treat her carefully . I 'm slightly less reckless than I used to be and would prefer to not have to try to dig her out of the mud by myself . I 'm still workinPosted by I walked outside this morning , a cup of hot black coffee in my hand , bundled in fleece and hand knitted wool . I left behind my cane and walked across the road to use the guest house bathroom . ( I 've been using my cane for walking assistance for the last week , so it was very nice to not need it ) This morning was not as awe - ing as a few days ago when I opened my front door to find my yard and the surrounding mountains covered in snow , but it still had me breath - less at the beauty . The misty mountains were just a spectacular view for my still - sleepy eyes . I stood quietly , warming my hands on my coffee cup , remembering all of the times that I have been camping and woken up to a morning this beautiful and thought to myself " I wish I could live like this always . " Now I know why I was preparing for winter camping for years . It was not to go into the snowy wilderness for a weekend , it was to live in this trailer with my children for a winter or two . I am so glad that I am prepared for all three of us . Every day here is amazingly beautiful . ( I hear that title in the voice of my late grandmother , Dorothy Laakso , and I giggle a little bit . ) It occurs to me that from an outsider 's perspective , I appear to have made a very strange decision in where to go in my life . This largely occurs to me because of the reactions I get from people who are not among my close friends . Otherwise , I only see my perspective . And that is ? Well , I see that I made a decision to live the life of a homesteader but on a very low budget in order to allow me to get back on my feet after a divorce , learn what this sort of life entails without a huge commitment and so that I can save enough money to live the life I want to live . Now , I also see that anything worth doing in life is going to require sacrifice and hard work . I can work hard , that 's for sure . But sacrifice had me thinking about how this decision would affect my kids . And I have thought long and hard about that . I also ask for their opinion and , so far , the sacrifice is worth it for them . What needs changing is being worked on and what can be improved is in process . So let me begin by explaining what it means to be a homesteader in 2010 . If you google " define : homesteader " , you will get many definitions . The one I am working with here is this one : http : / / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Homesteading . I sometimes think of it as Little House on the Prairie with solar panels and laptop computers . I have chickens for eggs , grow my own food as much as possible , store up food for winter and sometimes at night I read by candle light ( or flash light ) . I am learning popular homesteading skills like canning and drying food for preserving . ( I recently made and canned apple butter from apples grown on another friend 's land . ) Many homesteaders also employ elements of permaculture in their lifestyle . This makes sense because permaculture design is based on self - sufficiency , everything is tied to something else thus creating a cycle where everything is fed naturally . For this reason , we use a composting toilet . It takes a while to get used to , buPosted by I spent a large portion of my life being vegetarian . It started when I was 14 and didn 't end until I was 23 and pregnant with my second child . Even then I wasn 't so committed to being a meat - eater and often went back to being vegetarian . Recently ( I 'm now nearly 34 ) , I have been much more of a meat - eater since going gluten - free . There 's only so much you can give up at one time . So , not really having so much experience with the cooking of meat , I wasn 't quite prepared for one of the biggest lessons I 've learned since moving to my mountain home a few months ago . But , I can tell you now , I have a much better idea of what one does with a dead deer . One day I heard a distant gunshot and thought very little about it at the time . Shannon 's daughter Avia was visiting and maybe that was them doing target practice . You never know out here . Later , however , I got a phone call and soon was taking a walk to their house carrying a giant stock pot . I 've actually taken part in the killing and prepping of a chicken before , so the turkey ordeal was not so very unfamiliar . He was just bigger than the chicken . The three of us , Shannon , Avia and I , spent a great deal of time plucking feathers out of this enormous bird that evening . It started to remind me of plucking eyebrows strangely enough . This led to a discussion of electrolysis as a form of feather removal . Really , what else do you talk about while relieving a dead turkey of it 's foliage ? I ended up taking the turkey home with me and finishing up a creepy yet satisfying meticulous search for the rebellious feathers that only popped up after slightly more boiling . Finally it was recipe time . I attempted to cook the turkey legs as one might prepare chicken legs , only they are larger and so need more time . This proved to be slightly unappealing and led me to the discovery of the true meaning of a " gamey " taste . I was unsure how to improve the toughness of the meat other then stew ( which is what I did to the rooster I killed a couple years ago ) . Then began the endless turkey stew . EaPosted by Life has been so busy around here lately that I am only now able to write the post I had planned for a week ago . The weekend before this last one , Jamie and I found ourselves on an adventure down highway 1 from San Francisco that resulted in us landing in the Felton / Ben Lomond area in the Santa Cruz mountains . We were on a search for a store that carried " homesteading supplies " and a little google search on the mobile internet found us a place called Mountain Feed & Farm Supply in Ben Lomond . The day was very wet and the rain was still coming down . The people at Mountain Feed & Farm Supply were friendly and happy to see us . They told us they 'd just opened their home supplies section of the store where we found supplies for canning , making sausage , dehydrating , cheesemaking and other kitchen - y bits . The owner , Jorah , talked to us for a while . He 's a super friendly guy , great energy . He let us know that they used to do alternative fuel there but don 't any longer . He also made sure to let us know that they are able to order larger scale items like composting toilets ( good to know ! ) . Jamie and I ooohed and aahhed over everything in that building and then moved on to the farm supplies where we found feeds , fertilizers and beekeeping supplies . Next was the pet building where I ended up buying compostable kitty litter to try out and , of course , some salmon - flavored treats for my pack of felines back home . After a good chat with the ladies working in there about homesteading and knitting by the fire on a rainy day like this one , we checked out the gifts building . I awed over the cute baby things and smelled the soaps and then we happily went back out into the rain , feeling as if we 'd found a wonderful resource for the life we 're building . We plan to go back there when we need something they 've got . We 're happy to travel the distance to support a great business . So , if you 're ever in the Ben Lomond area , check out Mountain Feed & Farm Supply . It 's on Highway 9 . They don 't have a website , but you can find them on Yelp here : hPosted by First off , let me show you the little blue chicken coop : Now , meet the inhabitants . . . This is my oldest hen , a giant blue cochin named Penelope : Next is a Red - Sex Link / Golden Comet hen named Honeydew : And then there 's an Easter Egger hen named Isis : And the youngest in the chicken yard are the two " baby " Black Copper Marans who were hatched at Girl Scout Camp in July . The one on the left I believe is a roo , his name is Kopernikus . On the right is a hen - to - be named Madeline : Well , actually , the days are getting shorter . What I mean is here comes our solar power . We have a plan for powering our little gypsy home and Jamie has been explaining it to me . He 's the electrician so he makes the plan . Now let 's see if I understand it enough to explain it here . . . Jamie says that travel trailers and mobile homes are the best situation for converting to off - grid power because they have separate light circuits and appliance circuits . The trailers we are living in are even better because the lighting is already 12v DC power rather than 120v AC . The solar panel system will be generating and storing power at 12v DC . When we convert 12v DC to 120v AC it creates heat and wasted energy and electricity . So with this we can save energy by using 12v DC as much as possible ( lighting , cell phone charging , etc ) and only doing conversion to 120v AC when we have to . Ok , so the guest house has about 160 - 170 watts of 12v power with 450 amp hours of storage . This is what I am currently plugged into to power my laptop , charge my cell phone and mifi internet , run my sewing maching and occasional plug in a power tool . All of my lighting is battery powered lanterns and flashlights . ( So far this has been sufficient for one trailer during summer ) . The solar panels we are looking to get are each 60 - 150 watt 12v . We probably only need 250 - 300 watts total , but Jamie has a goal of 350 - 400 watts . The higher the wattage , the faster the batteries are charged , which will become very important in the winter . We currently have enough batteries collected for 350 amp hours of storage . This should be ok for now , but we would like to have more . ( Now here 's where we get into stuff that I have to copy and paste from his email as I am still working on understanding all of this . ) Besides solar panels and batteries , we need a Charge Controller . It would be best to start out with a bigger one than we need so that as we expand we don 't have to buy a second one . Jamie would like to get a 12 volt / 45 amp charge controller with a digital displayPosted by Sunday , 5am - ish : I wake up to the sound of thunder . Once my eyes are open I see the faint flash of lightning filling the trailer . Jamie and I lie side by side counting between flashes and crashes . He counts 15 , I count 8 . We drift back to sleep until a new sound starts : Rain . Suddenly my eyes snap open as I recall that my trailer is not ready for rain yet ! The unfinished bathroom still needs the roof vent replaced and the window that is being held together by a clamp does not close yet ! I jump out of bed and close all the vents and windows and then talk Jamie into going out into the rain with me to put a tarp over the back of the trailer . Together we are too short and the trailer is too slick and wet for either of us to accomplish much without a ladder . While Jamie uses a long pole to coax the tarp over the trailer , I look for ways to get on the roof . In the process I get completely soaking wet as my sweater is acting as a sponge ! Finally , I am almost on the roof , the lack of coffee and breakfast is hitting me , I am cold and my body just does not want to try to scramble onto the roof . I look around and realize that the rain has stopped . * sigh * We go inside and put on dry clothes , make coffee and it doesn 't rain again all day . . . Monday , 00 : 30am : Strange dreams wake me up . And then I see flashes of light outside . I crawl out of my warm bed to investigate . ( Oh my it is cold ! ! ) Over the mountains to the east , I see a lightning storm , constant flashes of light like explosions over the horizon . But no sound . I crawl back into my bed and hope it is not moving in my direction . I lie in bed , watching the flashes of light , wondering if I should wake the kids up so they can see the show too . Monday , 9am : The kids are awake now . We are all sitting on my bed . I have coffee . It is cold outside and huge fluffy gray clouds seem to barely scrape the rooftop as they pass by . I feel exposed here on this mountain , unable to hide from Mother Nature . I woke to the sounds of intense wind , wondering how much of my yard would be in disarray Posted by Let 's get one thing straight here . I AM crazy . And not just because I went outside this morning to wield a pick axe wearing flip flops . No , it 's true , I really am crazy . But you have to be to stray from what is the norm in society . Homesteaders and pioneers are crazy . Have you read Little House on the Prairie ? How many people pack their wife and small children into a wagon and leave all that is familiar , cross raging rivers and then try to live off of flat grassland full of pissed off natives ? Crazy people . The Donner party ? Crazy people . To be a homesteader or pioneer , you have to believe that you can do something that everyone is telling you will be too difficult . You have to believe in yourself enough to keep the kids going when they are sure you have lost your mind . But I love living off the grid . I don 't have to worry about gas pipes exploding like the recent incident in San Bruno . If my gas line explodes , it will do damage but on a much smaller scale . I will most likely still have a house afterward . And when my power goes out , I don 't have to sit in the dark wondering what happened and when it will be back on . I don 't have my own solar panels yet but it is pretty hard for me to overuse the solar power I get from the guest house 's system . But if I do , I know I just have to wait till the sun comes out the next day . And my fridge and stove run off a propane tank . When that runs out , I feel stupid . I am totally responsible for it and know I should have more than one tank . Thankfully , though , I can borrow some . In the evening we use candles , lanterns and headlamps . We are extremely self - sufficient here and have absolutely no PG & E bill . I also own my home ( though not the land it sits on ) and have no water or garbage bill . I do have to haul my own recycling and garbage into town , but we make so little that dumping the garbage usually means dropping a plastic shopping bag full into the trash can at a gas station . So , yeah , I am crazy . But I am also very wise . Here I can take care of myself and my children . My childrPosted by The screen door to my trailer is a bit inefficient . It latches by sliding a bolt over that catches on the door frame . It is an obvious homemade job following some sort of failure of the original latch . It necessitates a hole in the screen material in order to reach the latch from the outside . I really want to get a new screen door but in the meantime , this is what I have . It only took the big cats a few days to realize that the hole in the screen ( which is about 6 " x 6 " roughly and has a piece of screen draped over it as if that will help ) was the right size for them to just leap through . Yes , they are very graceful for their flabby size . Soon after , my kitten Stevia figured out he could climb the screen to jump out through the hole . So , sick of this escape madness one evening , I got a few small boards and screwed them together around the screen material , leaving a hole in the screen just big enough for small hands to reach in to get the latch . It looks like crap , seriously , but I was going for function out of desperate frustration . I have a roll of screen material . I wonder if I have enough wood to make a door . . . So , anyways , Thursday morning I get up and start getting ready to head to town . Then I realize that the cats are STILL escaping the trailer . I am now quite sick of this game , as you can imagine . No amount of reasoning with the little fur balls conveys the idea that I am merely trying to prevent them becoming a snack for a coyote or mountain lion while I 'm gone . So I grab a few boards and the screwdriver again . All the while I am thinking about how much I hate hobbling my house together like this . I 'd rather take the time to make things nice AND functional . I don 't want to live in a scrap wood shack . Hopefully when I return home this weekend , all 4 cats will still be INSIDE the trailer and I will be able to take down the scrap boards and actually fix the problem in a more aesthetically pleasing manner . Yesterday I woke up feeling sick and stayed in bed to drink my coffee . Maia decided to make breakfast for Terran and I so that I could rest . I tried to just stay inside and rest all day but the amount of work to be done finally got to me after a lunch picnic with the kids under the star dome . I put another coat of paint on the roof to the chicken coop , changing the color from pale blue to a slightly darker gray - blue . I think the paint was originally Jamie 's " Creeps Blue " but it works great for this . Today I spent the day painting the rest of the coop bright blue , the same color as the kids ' room . Maia and Terran helped for a little while before deciding to dive into the brush to build forts behind the trailer . I 'm hoping to have the coop in it 's new place and all set up by the end of the weekend . I need to also build a run but I 'm not sure how much more materials I will have to buy for this yet . Today I also built a small deck out of scrap redwood that I got from Craigslist . It 's pretty simple and is a good place for the kids to play . I 'm slowly filling in the trench from the water line too , because I am impatient waiting for the backhoe crew to come back and I want my front yard back . I 've filled in enough now that the backhoe won 't have to come too close to the trailer . Tomorrow I will take the kids into Livermore for errands , a park play day with other homeschoolers and then to San Jose for Maia 's orthodontist appointment . We 'll stay the night there and I will be with them Friday until Chris gets home from work and then I will head back home without them for the weekend . This new life is full of little rituals that I am still getting used to . Last Spring , after my husband and I broke up , I knew that soon I would have to set out on my own . I knew that the school district would be cutting their budget tighter and that it was going to get much harder to find a job that would allow me to pay the high rent for a Silicon Valley apartment . And I also knew that apartment life would mean giving up most of my animals and garden . To me this looked like doom . Barely able to pay rent and bills , barely time to see my kids , everything I loved would barely have a place in my life . My determination set in and I set out for an alternative plan . I got the wild idea to try to buy the 60 acres for sale next to my friends ' land in the Mt Hamilton range south of Livermore . It was only $ 150 , 00 and came with a 3 bedroom mobile home and a barn . Unfortunately , an offer was put in and accepted before I could act . My friends who owned the nearby 103 acres spoke up and said I could live on their land and help them care for their non - profit spiritual retreat center for Bay Area Pagans . All I needed to do was find something to live in . Here was my long - standing dream before my very eyes . I could live in their off - the - grid experiment in alternative / sustainable living and learn hands - on about everything I dreamt of doing in my life : permaculture , solar power , compost toilets , natural living ! I was excited ! And on the same land as two of my most trusted friends ! I could homeschool my kids again , keep my chickens , and build myself a home that I could love . And I would be immersed in a spiritual community that was bending over backwards to take care of me in probably the most difficult time of my adult life . I could give back to them by being here , taking care of Stone City , and helping Shannon and Morpheus keep this place going and improving . The short version of what happened next is that I bought a 5th wheel travel trailer that had seen better days for very cheap , and a propane fridge from an old hippie lady in Santa Cruz . I got a lot of help from Shannon and Jamie making the place livaPosted by
|
First , an explanation : I realise most people reading this know what happened , at least the core details , but in case you don 't , let me explain why there 's not been an update in almost a year . This is going to be a very , very long post . Also if you 're squeamish you may want to read with one eye closed … So how did this wacky journey start ? In February I had a gallstone . Woke up one Sunday morning and had this mild to moderate pain in my abdomen . This was during the Olympics so I basically laid on the couch all day trying not to move while watching Canada kick ass . The pain got worse . By Thursday it was almost unbearable . The pain had moved from the top of my abdomen and then slowly down the right hand side . I went to the nearby Medicentre . After a three hour wait I saw a doctor who told me I most likely had diverticulitis . I had already researched this as Brock Lesnar of UFC had recently had it and it was in my mind . Diverticulitis is an inflammation and infection of one of the sacks lining your intestines . In other words it would cause a pain THAT DOESN ' T MOVE ! ( Having mentioned all this to many other medical professionals this year , they agree that the diagnosis was complete nonsense . ) I knew the doctor was wrong and trudged home almost in tears from the pain . Once again , like so many times in my life , the medical profession had proven to be completely worthless . About a month later I woke up on a Wednesday due to back pain . I tried moving . It didn 't change . I got up . The pain got worse . After about 20 minutes of escalating pain I asked my wife to call an ambulance . The previous day I had moved a bookshelf . I hadn 't moved the books off it first . Why ? Because I 'm strong and stupid , that 's why . I figured I 'd really hurt my back . That , coupled with my usual back problems , seemed like the obvious answer . The ambulance arrived , asked me a bunch of questions and took me to Leduc . Yes , I live in Edmonton , but all the local hospitals were busy so they drove me about 25 minutes out of the city while pumping me full of painkillers . Lovely , lovely painkillers . I was stuck waiting on a gurney in a corridor for a couple of hours before I got wheeled into a room . The nurse came in to see me and shot me up with another painkiller . This was round about 3pm . I was still in considerable pain but it took the edge off . I slept . Then I was woken and told they were booting me soon . I said I still felt awful and could I stay a bit longer . They reluctantly agreed . About 20 minutes later the pain became excruciating and for the first time in my life I started quite literally screaming in pain . Nobody came . The nurses ignored me for at least an hour . The room was right across from the main nurses station and yet not one person came to check on me for over an hour . The doctor dismissed my pain and discharged me and called a cab for me to get home . A cab which ultimately cost us $ 50 ! Woke up Thursday feeling a bit better . Nowhere near as much pain . Figured whatever it was was getting better . Both my wife and I failed to notice the yellow tinge to my skin . ( Foolish mistake number one . ) Friday comes and I 'm starting to feel fairly horrid . Pain is still there . I 'm tired . Just not feeling well . Saturday my wife had a get together scheduled here for a group she 's a member of . I was feeling very ill and just stayed in bed . I don 't recall if I even got up that day . I didn 't eat . My wife had gone out to buy some things and I asked her to buy me some Sprite . She also made me some iced tea . That night I remember having a lot of trouble sleeping and , for the first time in 16 years , I felt like I was going to throw up . I did start to throw up but nothing happened . I went to the bathroom and noticed my pee was very , very dark . I ignored this and assumed I just hadn 't been drinking enough . ( Foolish mistake number two . ) Sunday I didn 't eat . I drank iced tea and Sprite all day . My wife sat next to me on the bed and commented my skin appeared to look yellow . I was still in denial and said it was probably the lighting . I just had a flu or something . I 'd be fine . Monday morning I felt horrendous . Dizzy , nauseated etc … I asked my wife to take me to the ER . From here on my memory is extremely patchy and my wife has had to fill in some blanks , but I wanted this to be what I remember . I remember being wheeled into the ER by my wife and lining up at the admissions desk . I remember clutching my Sprite bottle as if my life depended on it . I remember the conversation my wife had with the lady behind the counter , and her looking at me with a look that can only be described as " Dear god he looks like crap ! " I was taken in immediately and put on a bed . My wife was there with our baby . My other two kids were at home with their grandma . I remember having gallons of blood drawn and was hooked up to oxygen and insulin . Ultimately it turned out I had the highest blood sugar level they 'd ever seen . It was three figures . ( It 's supposed to be single figures . ) I also had the highest Bilirubin count they 'd ever seen . My next memory is what I assume was a few hours later , I 'm in an ER ward . My other kids and their grandma turn up with Dairy Queen . They all ate sitting on the floor by the bed . I was hungry but not allowed to eat . I remember my family leaving me . My wife and baby had been there for hours and it wasn 't fair on the baby to stay . I seemed to everyone like I was doing a lot better and they were just keeping me to make sure I was stablized . My wife left her cellphone with me so I could call her mom when I was ready to come home . ( At this point we had no landline and my cellphone was dead due to lack of apparent need for it . ) I said goodbye and figured I 'd get to go home the following day . No big deal . I started hallucinating ; hearing discussions about wrestling ! ( I am a wrestling fan but even in my messed up state I knew I was quite possibly going mad and that the nurses were obviously NOT discussing wrestling . I even asked one just to make sure who confirmed I was indeed imagining things . ) Next thing I remember is being in a brightly lit room , unable to breathe . I 've never drowned , or come close to drowning thankfully , but I think on this night I experienced what that must be like . I 'm laying on the bed , oxygen being pumped into me at the highest rate they can , and I still can 't breathe . I beg them to give me more oxygen but there 's nothing they can do . I hear discussions about what they should do with me . One voice says keep pumping the oxygen into me . Another says we need to give him a CT scan right now . I don 't know the number , but I do know my SAT , a measurement of the oxygen in your blood , was dangerously low . The next memory I have is being told I was being given a CT scan , though by this point even at my most lucid I was in a dreamlike state . I knew something was happening , but I felt like I was floating . Nothing was real . My final memory of this whole night was being asked how to contact my wife . I somehow managed to become coherent enough to explain that I had my wifes cellphone and that they 'd need to call my mother - in - law . But I couldn 't remember her cell number so the best I could do was given them her home number . They cut me off mid sentence as things were taking a severe turn for the worse . ( As if they weren 't horrendous enough already . ) I remember being wheeled into a room and , for reasons unknown , wondering why they were putting me in the children 's ward . ( They weren 't . I was in the ICU . ) I remember lots of voices around me . I couldn 't see . No idea if my eyes were closed or if they were open and my body had just shut down . I explicitly remember saying " I 'm going to die aren 't I " . I also remember hearing a voice saying " We 're losing him " . Though I don 't know if that occurred before or after my utterance . I think before . I have a very distinct memory , my last memory that night , of seeing an intubation kit being opened . For some reason I was always terrified of them and had got it into my head that if one was ever used on me , I was going to die . I started to freak out . I remember being held down . There was a white light . Yes , I know it 's a cliche , but there you go . I remember a bright white light dazzling me . Being a videogame junkie my brain decided to make the experience like a game . I was fighting to stay out of the light . I also somehow got it into my head that the nurses and doctors working on me had nefarious purposes and that it was all a scam . Life that is . And that it wasn 't they were trying to save me , it was to stop me finding out the truth . Being the stubborn bastard I am I refused to believe this . For once in my life never taking anything at face value and always having to investigate something paid off . Could very well be why I 'm still here . I 've no idea how long I was out for after that . I was massively sedated . I have fragments of memory from being unconscious . I had visions , over and over , of a barbed tube being held threateningly over me . I seemed to hear the Lady GaGa song " Telephone " endlessly over and over again . ( There was a radio in my room . I now love that song ! And I hate Lady GaGa ! ) I remember arcade machines . ( Maybe medical equipment I guess . ) I woke up . I see my wife standing next to the bed , smiling at me . I communicate as best I can but at this point I still have tubes up my nose , IV 's in me , and a giant plastic tube down my throat . I try to smile . No idea if I managed it . My kids are there too . I 've no idea what 's happened to me . All I know is despite thinking I was , I clearly wasn 't dead . This made me quite happy . I make the gesture for writing equipment and try to write . It was my only method of communicating . ( I still have the sheets of paper . ) I asked what body parts I 'm missing . Apparently none . The nurses are amazed as they said they had no idea when I 'd wake up or have the tube removed . I remember this really nice male nurse taking care of me that night . I think his name was Kevin . He was awesome . The following day ( do bear in mind that my perception of time was screwed up very badly so I 'm writing this as how I remember it . The timeframe involved may be vastly different in reality ) I had the tube removed . A quite horrid experience unlike anything I 've felt before , but nowhere near as traumatic as I imagined it 'd be . For reasons that I still can 't quite fathom I couldn 't walk . I had lost the ability ! I had to endure physio a day or two after waking up . I hated it . Didn 't want to do it . Despite still suffering from internal bleeding I had to walk . One other major issue had occurred during all this . My eyesight had basically gone . If your blood sugar goes nuts , one of the things that gets damaged is your vision . I 'm very short sighted in the literal sense . Chronic myopia . My eyes had become so bad after all this that it made little difference when I put my glasses on . I was told that they had no idea if the damage was permanent . This was terrifying . Fortunately it did very slowly improve to the point my eyesight is pretty much as it was . Perhaps a little bit worse , but given how it could have been … Okay , here goes . Are you sitting comfortably ? Then we 'll begin : The gallstone in February had aggravated my pancreas . A pancreas that was possibly already aggravated due to a high triglyceride level . ( It 's unknown whether it contributed , or was a symptom of my pancreas being a grouch . ) This triggered acute pancreatitis , which is where your pancreas gets extremely pissy with you and decides to try and kill you . I 've been told since all this by a surgeon that Pancreatitis is A ) possibly the most painful thing a human can have happen , and B ) that it 's a brutal debilitating disease that gets almost no press despite being so horrific . Anyhoo , my pancreas had started bleeding . As a consequence , the day I entered hospital I was suffering from acute renal failure . As the day wore on I started to suffer respiratory failure as well . My liver was also on the blink . The hospital stay was the most miserable experience of my life , and I 've sat through The Horse Whisperer ! Most of the nurses were absolute bitches . Sorry , but there 's no other way of putting it . Despite being damn near crippled , they wouldn 't help me use the toilet in my room , nor would they bring med a bedpan , a bottle etc … I was still peeing blood at this point ( yes folks , the dark pee wasn 't because of dehydration , but because I was urinating blood ) . I then got a C - Dif infection which meant a violent case of the runs which , again , they wouldn 't help with . They were absolutely terrible nurses and I loathed each and every one of the bastards . There were only two nice nurses the entire time I was in the ICU , and would quite gladly wish the rest would burn in hell for their despicable treatment of me and , I assume , other patients . Of course given most patients in the ICU are unconscious , it doesn 't matter how poorly you treat them really does it . They won 't know . The nurses in my second hospital stay were infinitely superior in both attitude and ability . I was eventually transferred off to a regular ward where I roomed with an old guy who was quite clearly senile and who insisted on listening to heavy rock ALL NIGHT LONG ! Since waking up from the sedation I had had almost no sleep . Vitals were checked every couple of hours . There were blood draws . X - rays , ultrasound , etc . In short I never got any sleep because I was always being woken up for something . What I DO remember from the ICU is groggily watching The Food Network , a bit of CNN when that volcano was blanketing Europe with dust and an attempt to watch the Formula One Chinese Grand Prix where despite being a great race I fell asleep both during the live broadcast and the repeat . I was getting thoroughly pissed off by this point . The doctors seemed to be doing nothing . Every day I 'd get hooked to various IV drugs and fluids . I remember describing everything at the time as being that they decided to try one thing a day at most , then retired to the balcony for cigars and brandy to discuss things . I felt things were going nowhere . I was in agony from beds which weren 't designed for someone my height and from the very bad bed sore I developed . In retrospect I don 't regret what I did . Yes it wasn 't smart , but there seemed very little point in staying . In fact I asked the doctor several times if there was a reason for me to stay and he never said anything , actually strongly implying I 'd be released in a day or two at most . In retrospect this doctor was fairly negligible as I was never told anything and as far as I knew I was getting better . I discharged myself . I was told I was still very sick . I argued that in fairness they seemed to be doing bugger all to fix anything on me , and I 'd do better at home given I lived a mere three minutes from the hospital . The Doctor begrudingly agreed and I was free to go . Due to my pancreas shutting down I had become diabetic . I was taught how to eat , how to manage it , how to inject insulin etc … I was sent on my way with a bag full of medical supplies and a pocket full of dreams … I had a hellish time sleeping once I was home as every time I closed my eyes the visions of barbed tubes and the other traumatic stuff I remembered came to me . I couldn 't sleep properly . I was a wreck mentally . Had to go have regular blood tests to see how things were going . Nobody mentioned or seemed to care that I was still bleeding internally at this point . About 10 days out of hospital I had to go and receive a blood transfusion ( over the course of all this I wound up with more than 30 whole blood transfusions , as well as various other blood products ) due to low hemoglobin . This took six hours , and on the third one I had a bad reaction , started to spike a fever etc … I was told they 'd have to do another bag . I said bugger this , I 'm going home . My wife and baby had been keeping me company the whole time and it was very unfair on them . On average you 're supposed to go up 10 points per bag , and with my levels I figured I was back up above 90 , so decided to go home . ( As it was it turned out I was right . ) I had a blood test a couple of weeks later and got a panicked phone call late at night . ( This happened a lot in my time at home , the night before we had a similar call due to the result of a CT scan , which was why we 'd gone to get the blood work done in the first place . ) My liver enzymes had spiked badly . I should get to hospital NOW ! This was 11pm . We had nobody to look after the two eldest kids . I said I 'd go the following day . I was feeling fairly crappy so had been considering going anyway . During the night I started vomiting . It was dark so I couldn 't tell , but I was vomiting blood at this point . The next day , Mothers Day , I woke up . Felt very dizzy . Went to the bathroom and nearly passed out . Stumbled back to the bedroom and sat there for at least ten minutes before slowly standing up . I walked out to the stairs . From our stairs I could see the couch and my wife was on the phone . I smiled and waved . I started to feel dizzy again and tried to sit down , but sort of fell . I at least had the good sense to make sure I fell backwards when I collapsed rather than head first down the stairs . I woke up having trouble breathing and hearing my wife calling 911 on her cellphone as she sat next to me on the floor . She was stroking my head and relaying the details to the operator . Once again we 're at sketchy memory syndrome . I remember the paramedics arriving and asking me loads of questions . I was asked if I could get down the stairs . I said there was no way in hell . ( I couldn 't see but again had no idea if my eyes were closed or open . ) They call the fire department to get some burly men to come . Said burly men arrived and I was loaded on a board , dragged out of house and stuffed in an ambulance . Something else medical I didn 't fit in . Every ambulance , and I rode in a few , I had to pull my legs up so they could shut the door . I remember having panic attacks and the only thing that calmed me down was my wife touching me . I remember some extremely traumatic procedures being done to me that involved me being held down etc … So awful I don 't even want to revisit them here . Then I was shoved in an ICU again . Tests were done . I remember being told that I 'd had hemolytic shock . Blood loss basically , due to internal bleeding . My wife disputes this as she was told that I had actually stopped bleeding and it was the congealed blood that was causing the problem . There was this doctor who I was very tempted to file a complaint against , and I will name him here . Doctor Liu . A shameful excuse for a healthcare practitioner , and a shameful excuse for a compassionate human being . He had been horrible to me before on my previous stay but I don 't remember specifics . This time he was vile . I 'm sitting in bed , tubes up my nose draining the blood from my stomach , in the worst shape of my life and this absolutely evil individual sits there and tells me my kids are going to grow up without a father as I 'm going to die . He then spends five minutes sitting there telling me how this was all my own doing , that I was selfish , that I was going to die , and my wife would have to raise three children on her own and they 'd have no father to grow up with , and it was all my fault and I should be ashamed . This is what this despicable individual actually said to me , a patient who was at that moment laying in bed dying . I am still considering filing an official complaint , possibly more against this asshole . I hope one day he does this to the wrong person and gets the ever loving shit kicked out of him as it 's no less than he deserves . After a day or two there I was transferred to a better hospital . ( No other way of putting it really . ) Surgery was looking likely and I was better off being transferred to another hospital and another doctors care . The ICU there was a vastly different experience . Nurses who actually seemed to care . Information being given . In fact the only criticism we really had was they got me to sign a consent form without my wife around when I was in no mental or physical state to be considered even remotely responsible for myself . There was also a nurse who kicked my wife out . My wife complained and he got a ton of crap for being in the wrong as he had no reason to kick her out and I had explicitly stated my wife was to be with me at all times when she visited . I was suffering from kidney and liver failure . The blood had also caused my lungs to partially collapse . I was told that there was several options . The leading one was to go into ultrasound , have a needle shoved in me and drain all the fluid . However for reasons I don 't quite recall they decided to just skip that as time was running out and I was prepped for surgery . Strangely , despite all the many fears I had about hospitals coming true all at once , I wasn 't scared . I was nervous certainly , but had no fear . I was in surgery for six and a half hours . My poor wife was waiting the entire time with ZERO information being passed to her . From everything we 've learned I almost died twice during surgery . ( From my experience and comments I remember hearing , we believe I pretty much DID die in my first hospital excursion and was bought back . ) I have no memory of the week after the surgery . No memory at all , but my wife says I seemed perfectly normal mentally . Well as normal I usually am anyway . My first memory , post surgery , is waking up in bed . I was still heavily medicated at this point and , as I learned over the course of my time in hospital , I had weird reactions to various meds that were supposed to help . One med made me hallucinate a conversation with Abraham Lincoln . With another medication , every time I closed my eyes all I could see was thousands of Howie Mandels . Seriously . I was hooked up to an IV , and due to the procedure I 'd had ( pancreas and gall bladder removed , with the Islet cells from my pancreas transplanted back into me ) I had 8 tubes coming out of my stomach . Some pumping fluid into the surgery area , and others draining it . This was supposed to help the area . Ultimately it led to a massive infection that led to me having a second surgery a couple of weeks or so later . Yay ! * sigh * Despite being REALLY messed up I had somehow got to the end of the bed and was sitting up . The nurses have no idea how I managed this and nor do I . I realised something was wrong , but my brain decided I was in a parallel universe and that the only way I could fix things and get home again was to get the hell out of there back to my wife . So I started to try and rip the tubes and IV out . ( I only succeeded in ripping my IV out thankfully . ) I was seriously on the verge of insanity at this point due to the medication and the sheer trauma of everything that had happened . Ultimately what saved me was I managed to come back to reality enough to call my wife . We 'd paid for a phone in my room and my wife had hurriedly arranged for a landline to be installed at our house so we could talk without being gouged by the thieves at Virgin Mobile . I called and she was able to sort my head out and confirm I WAS in this reality . I was just very very ill and had to stay in hospital for now . I did have a LOT of weird experiences . I started to suffer breathing issues again , but this time all caused by my mental state . I also , every night without fail , felt something strange was going on . In drug induced dreams I 'd be home with my family , but every time I woke of course I was back in hospital , but my brain couldn 't distinguish between the dream and reality and I was becoming confused and distraught . In fact in one dream / reality trip I became convinced the hospital had moved and my room had been left behind . In another there was a terrorist attack that caused everyone but me to be evacuated from the building . ( 28 Days Later has a lot to answer for … ) Anyway , I was in hospital for two months when I was told it 'd be two weeks . I got the second infection requiring another surgery . Then I started crapping blood . Literally . Terrified I was going to die I was scheduled for a colonoscopy . All sorts of dark diagnosis ' were postulated . I was told off the record , by the colonoscopy guy , that what had happened was during the second surgery my stomach had been beaten around and bruised , and the blood coming out of me was entirely the surgeons fault for injuring my stomach . A surgeon who later came in and yelled at me for wanting to go home . Note : I was not planning to discharge myself or anything like that . I was just very very sad that I was still stuck there , and this idiot came in and spent a few minutes yelling at me about how sick I was and that I wasn 't going home . My wife was there too . I remember looking at her saying " What the hell was all that about ? " In the course of my two month stay I had multiple CT scans , which are very very bad for you due to the radiation levels and most of them were just the doctor being paranoid . I had multiple infections including Vancomycin Resistant Enterococcus . VRE . It 's kinda like MRSA 's slightly less terrifying cousin . Only it got in through the t - tube , the tube that was running from my liver to a bag hanging outside of me . The one thing you never want to hear during a medical procedure is " Oh no … Oh god no … " I was undergoing one procedure and it involved injecting something into my bile duct . To do this the t - tube bag had to be removed , and this idiot intern had broken it . By this point I was so cynical about my stay that instead of panicking I almost started laughing . It was that or go insane . From then on I started modifying the consent forms to explicitly forbid any interns or students coming anywhere near me to do anything other than watch . I believe the infection got in via that incident . It caused my liver to go nuts and I was put on an antibiotic that it 's own manufacturer says you should only be on for 25 days maximum . I was on it for almost twice that . ( Most of which was after I left hospital . ) I was told I was going home on several occasions . By far the worst was when I was told at 6am I was going home that day . Then at 7am my surgeon came to see me and after telling me repeatedly I 'd be going home in a few days , told me I wasn 't . I came very close to suicide that day . Or at least would have had I not invested so much effort in AVOIDING death the past three months or so . I wound up with the psychiatric department visiting regularly . I filed complaints against several nurses who treated me like shit and much to my delight , the complaints were listened to ! ( Including one against a physio who thought it was acceptable to make me walk when I had another case of the runs while being " cleared out " for the colonoscopy and that he 'd wheel a commode behind me . That was deemed completely out of order and he ultimately apologized to me for it . ) Incidentally , regarding colonoscopy , if you 're ever told to drink a product called " Go Lightly " . A ) you won 't , and B ) it 's propylene glycol , which is very dangerous to the liver . The fact I was given tons of this stuff to drink when my liver was still very dodgy is reprehensible . Then the day came . I had really had enough by this point . Instead of trying to maintain my cheery demeanour I was thoroughly pissed off and sick of being bossed around , humiliated , degraded and generally treated like crap . ( I was told by the nice lady from the psychiatric department that you 're better off in prison than hospital as you have more freedom and control in prison . ) I remember that morning I had spent hours on the phone talking to my wife . My nurse that day was , like all of them did , harassing me to get up and walk . The logic is if you lay around in hospital , that 's what you 're going to do at home , which is of course utter bollocks if you don 't live alone and I told them as much . At home I kinda HAVE to get up and move around to use the bathroom , go to bed etc … But of course they 'd drag me out , even two days after the second surgery while hopped up on Morphine , to go for a walk . They made me use a walker . This seemed bloody pointless to me as being so tall I had to bend down and walk strangely . Plus in the real world I DON ' T USE A FUCKING WALKER ! I had many , MANY arguments with them . They also had this inane thing that I had to get out of bed and sit in a chair for at least an hour aday . I tried . It killed my back . I already have severe back problems , AS WAS NOTED ON MY BLOODY RECORDS ! So I started refusing to sit . I 'd sit up in bed , but I 'd be damned if I was going to be a performing monkey for these people . The sitting was explained that it helped open up my lungs . Well my lung capacity was clearly doing okay as I had this machine to use to measure it and I saw noticeable improvements . So back to the day , I was on the phone with my wife and the nurse was bugging me to go for a walk and had been since about 8am . It was around 11am at this point . I finally lost it and screamed at her " NO ! I AM TALKING TO MY WIFE ! " I finally reached breaking point and while I 'd been stubborn up to that point , I was becoming down right hostile as I was sick to death of these people . Sick to death of being there . By this point I 'd had several " day passes " where I went home for the day , then went back to the hospital . This made things worse more than anything as it basically gave me a taste of what I 'd been missing and then snatched it away . I 've no idea if this contributed to things , but once again that morning after being teased I was going home I was told there was something up and I had to stay . I am not ashamed to admit that I cried . I could take no more . I apparently had a cyst inside me that was full of fluid . My surgeon was apparently concerned that it was VRE infected and wanted me tested . The one shining light ( even though she scared the hell out of me at first ) was the charge nurse . The lady in charge of the ward . I will call her A . A almost never saw me , but if I asked to speak to her would always see me , and more importantly listen to me , which is more than most of them did . On this day she had already come in to see me and explain why the nurses were being so pushy with me . In short everything that could go wrong for me there HAD gone wrong , and there was a real concern I 'd develop a blood clot from not walking . ( I was refusing the injections to prevent this at that point as they hurt far more than anything else did . ) In fact I learned later that in my medical records I had been referred to as " this unfortunate man " by one doctor which to this day makes me chuckle . So around 1pm A comes in to see me again . I was talking to my wife again and said goodbye to listen to A . She explains that she knows how hard it 's been and everything I 've gone through . She 'd already had a fight with my surgeon for telling me I 'd be going home then changing his mind a few weeks prior , saying that it was very unfair to do that to me , especially after everything I 'd been through . This day she 'd had another fight with him over the cyst . She asked if he was just being over cautious about me and he admitted that yes , he was . She checked my blood test results ( I dread to think how many gallons they took from me over those few months ) and my numbers were good . Everything was okay . I had a feeling I knew where this chat might be going but after so many disappointments I didn 't dare to hope . Then she said it . I couldn 't believe it . I had to say " Seriously ? " a few times before I realised she wasn 't kidding . I laid there in bed just crying tears of joy . I did my best to calm down and called my wife . She was the other one who had suffered through all the times I was told I 'd be going home only for it to be snatched back . I 'd already spent hours talking to her and we were both very upset there seemed to be no end in sight . I called . " Yes . Why ? " There was a palpable sense of dread in her voice as usually my phone calls after speaking to one of the nurses or doctors had bad news . Rather like I had with A my wife checked a few times that I was serious . I think she cried too . She had some phone calls to make . The hospital is a half hour drive away . We had no car . We had already spent over six hundred dollars on car rentals to make her life easier coming to see me and more importantly so I could actually go home on my day passes . Most visits had been via the bus . It took her two hours to get there and two hours home due to the idiot routing of the buses . Plus she had the baby with her who would invariably scream all the time coming home from seeing me , maybe because he was missing me . Phone calls were made and we managed to get a trip home covered financially . A cab would cost near $ 40 . My wife and kids came to the hospital to pick me up . The problem was my surgeon was busy carving some other poor bastard up and couldn 't deal with the prescription authorization I needed to get the pills I was on to take home . ( An enzyme tablet to compensate for the lack of pancreas . A pill which I have to take EVERY TIME I want to eat . Dear god it 's tedious . And they taste like crap too . And about a billion antibiotics . ) We waited for an hour or so and I started harassing my nurse . She said there was no idea how long the surgery would take . Could be 10 minutes . Could be 10 hours . So there I was , discharged , ready to go home , and unable to do so . After about three hours , with my kids starting to get very antsy , my nurse , the same nurse I had yelled at , decided enough was enough and got it all sorted for us . Completely violated hospital policy if I remember rightly , just so I could go home . I got dressed . My wife got a wheelchair . ( I could still barely walk at this point . ) We grabbed all my stuff and wheeled me out for the last time . I said my goodbyes to the nurses on duty , thanked them for everything , though after so many disappointments was still convinced that any second my freedom was going to be snatched away again . I didn 't truly believe I was going home until the cab pulled out with me in it and we started heading home . That was almost 6 months ago . A week after getting out I started draining a ton of fluid out of my incision ( which was still not healed . Deliberately I should add , so it healed from the inside out to avoid an abcess ) . It looked and smelled just like the fluid that had been drained out of the tubes that were placed in me . ( Having one of those tubes removed was the single most painful thing I experienced in my entire time in hospital . ) I called the ward I 'd been on . Except for my surgeon whose assistant told me he wanted me readmitted right away . Having only just got out I said there was not a snowballs chance in hell that was happening , especially after several nurses had said it was okay . She bitched at me and said " Well who you are going to listen to ? The nurses , or your consulting physician . " " The nurses . " My reasoning being they saw the wound , and me , day in and day out , seven days a week , whereas this " consulting physician " was the one who had duped me into believing I was going home so many times , whose sloppy work led to the infection that caused my second surgery ( though he did actually apologize for it . Scant comfort from that but still ) … and who only ever appeared for about 30 seconds every few days to tell me what latest trauma I was going to have to endure or say something entirely cryptic . In short I was justified in ignoring his wishes . I DID wind up with a fairly awful infection , and was put on more antibiotics , but I NEVER went back as anything other than an outpatient . Did have a minor procedure where a surgeon took scissors to the wound and opened it up a bit more so they could pack gauze in it , but that was done on a schedule outpatient appointment with Infectious Diseases who BY FAR were the coolest people in that hospital . I loved it when they visited me during my stay as they were fascinating people , in a fascinating field , and ultimately were the people who sorted out all the infections I wound up with . Fantastic people ! My wound was ALMOST healed at the end of October . There was still a little discharge but it was mostly healed , despite having been cut open again etc … Then at the end of October I had to have an ERCP procedure . This is shoving a camera down your throat , through your stomach and down to your liver . They removed the existing tube in there , discovered that the bile duct ( which the blood all those months ago had compressed and damaged ) was still not recovered and another tube was inserted . The problem was they laid me on my stomach for the procedure . I figured this would be okay . In fact I was pleased as it was the first time I 'd laid on my stomach since I got sick and it felt like major progress . Turns out this is completely non - standard for the procedure . The patient should lay on their side . It 's now mid December and it 's STILL not healed . I am eating tons of protein , taking vitamins etc … It 's healing slowly but is still draining . Mostly blood . ( Which way back in hospital I was told is a good thing as it means fresh blood is getting to everything . ) I 've seen my GP and had the wound swabbed . No news is good news in that regard . I also got prescribed a cream called Silver Sulphadiazine which is antibiotic and , more importantly , stimulates skin growth . Seems to be working well . Vomiting blood . Having a tube shoved up my nose and down my throat to drain my stomach and the nurses being amazed at the sheer quantity of blood I had in there . Though if you ever want to see something funny when in hospital , act like you 're going to start puking and watch them back off in horror ! High - larious ! Though one nurse didn 't flinch during one event and comforted me , and I remember her saying " Oh look ! There 's those pills you took ! " Funny . Losing 150 pounds , and being unable to eat due to multiple " nil by mouth " events in hospital wrecking my appetite , and my stomach being wrecked by antibiotics . It 's no exaggeration to say I almost starved to death and ultimately being overweight is what saved me . The obesity paradox once again . Even medical professionals have said to me that had I not been overweight , I 'd have probably died from starvation as I simply wouldn 't have had the fat reserves to survive . As it was I became basically skeletal . I 've put on 35 or so pounds from there now , back up to 200 now from 165 . I am still about 50 pounds below a supposed " healthy " weight . When I saw my GP back in October I was above the ridiculous weight I was told by a dietician was my base " healthy weight " . ( Which is based on the KNOWN to be flawed BMI , which already don 't work above 6 ' 2 ″ or thereabouts , and I 'm 6 ' 8 ″ ) My GP took one look at me , laughed when I told him that and he said I looked much better when I was overweight . I 've also been left with chronic memory problems . For whatever reason , be it drugs , trauma or brain damage from the respiratory failure or toxins in my blood , my short term memory is shot to hell now . Seriously I can think of something at the top of the stairs and by the time I 'm at the bottom , it 's gone . This is the norm now sadly . Even my mother - in - law commented over Christmas to my wife about how bad my memory is now . My wife will ask me to do something , and I say yes , then immediately forget . It 's horrible , but I have to live with it . Better that than long term being damaged is the way I look at it . When I came home I was unable to walk properly without a cane . Getting up and down stairs was a nightmare . The first time I was able to walk up the three stairs from our dining room to our living room felt like I HAD climbed Everest it was such an achievement . Being able to make my own cup of tea . Being able to make my own food . Being able to get up without aid . All minor achievements to most people that have meant the world to me this year . I 'm still not 100 % . My muscle mass is shot to hell . I have no strength . My stamina is also at low levels , though is improving . My first trip to the mall ( about a kilometre round trip ) I had to sit at every seat and was exhausted when I got home . Now I can get there , wander around , do shopping , lug it all home , and only have to sit once or twice to catch my breath . Yesterday was the first time I 've done the entire trip and not sat down at all ! It 's little things like that which highlight to me that while I may still have a slightly open wound , and still have to go and have another tube shoved down my throat next year to check on my liver , the fact is I AM doing much better and I can see things improveing every day . Simply rolling over in bed used to require Herculean effort . Now it 's no big thing . On Christmas Day , I ran up the small stairs in my house . BLOODY RAN ! ! ! ! If you take nothing from this , if you have the means , please give to the Childs Play charity . Having seen what the kids in hospital go through , anything which can provide them with some sort of distraction is wonderful . I 've already given a little this year ( with the AI War expansion that Arcen gave all proceeds from to Childs Play . See , video games , it 's on topic now ! HAHA ! ) ) I plan to give more . It was bad enough for me . To think of a kid going through what I did … One of MY Kids for example … Anything I can do to make their time there more bearable , I will do . Finally , I just want to publically say a huge THANK YOU to my wife . We 've had our problems in recent years . Nothing like one of us almost dying to put things in perspective ! She has been downright incredible . Visiting as often as she could when I was in hospital despite the many issues she had to cope with , not least dealing with 3 kids on her own a lot of the time . Dealing with my dressing every day . Sorting out transportation for the many visits to the infectious diseases department I had to go to regularly . Keeping me sane during the sheer boredom of blood transfusions … She has been an absolute hero to me and I want to say THANK YOU . Now if you 've read all this , hopefully you 're taking something away from it , even if it 's a new found understanding of a horrific and almost untalked about disease . Awareness is almost nil , despite Pancreatitis being one of the most painful and debilitating illnesses that can befall you . I was told it 'd probably take six months from discharge for me to recover properly , and it appears that schedule was absolutely correct . At the very least I hope this New Years you will raise a toast to your family and appreciate them a little more than usual , and give mine a thought after the year we 've had . My kids are only really opening up now and talking about everything . My nine year old took things especially hard . So Happy New Year my friends . I will return to my erratic blogging schedule next year . Lots to write about . Being out of gaming for so long was hard . I was out from March to July due to the illness and hospital stays . Then aside from brief periods I didn 't really get into gaming again properly until at least September . I have games I bought shortly before I got sick that I 've barely touched . I 've got lots to write about , and plan too . We here remember clearly the touch and go over and over as we were given updates … and we remember the heartache and frustration . But look at you now . Piss and Vinegar and getting stronger and stronger ! God bless you , you Jaded Malcontent … we love you HUGELY and thank the Divine that you are a fighter and have stayed in this crazy VR for another round of the Greatest Game Around ! A million Zillion Life Points for making it through ! December 31 , 2010 at 10 : 05 am What an incredible scary journey . Both heart breaking and heart warming , some good values within it too . Lets hope that 2011 brings a very happy , healthy and peaceful new year to you both . December 31 , 2010 at 4 : 28 pm I read your whole story and admire your courage and that of your wife and family . What an ordeal you have been through . Peace and blessings to you all . January 3 , 2011 at 8 : 02 pm [ … ] 3 , 2011 This is a hard post to write , as I was spectacularly out of commission for a lot of 2010 . Last game I really played before I got sick was the epic Just Cause 2 . The first [ … ]
|
on September 3 , 2015 in The Traveling Story Teller with no comments by kfordk I remember when I first learned the meaning of the word community . My grade school teacher instructed the class to draw a circle on a piece of paper . Then she told us that our neighborhood was our community , our circle . We each belonged to our own community , while other people belonged to different ones . When I asked the teacher if I could belong to more than one community , she said no , I could not . My friends and I looked at each other sadly . Not one of us lived in the same neighborhood and according to our teacher that meant we didn 't belong to the same community . " Aren 't you nervous about staying with strangers ? " my friends asked me . I had to admit that I was and I scoured the airbnb website looking for places that came highly recommended by others who had already been there . I chose locations that were close to the sights we wanted to see . I also looked for amenities like kitchens , washing machines and WiFi . Our first stop was Vancouver and we spent one night in Chan 's Richmond home with its immaculate en suite rooms . Chan was a charming host and we enjoyed several conversations with him at his kitchen table . Pleasant encounters like this one were repeated many times with other hosts . In Dubrovnik , our host , Maro came to meet us at the Pile gate and helped us carry our luggage . We stayed in his ' sweet , modern studio ' in what had been his grandmother 's home in the center of Dubrovnik 's Old Town . It turned out to be a perfect location to explore the city and Maro and his sister , Kate were the perfect hosts , giving us great advice on restaurants and sightseeing . In Venice we stayed at ' BnB Vale ' . This bnb is one of my favorites as it is located in a Venetian palace right on the Grand Canal and is close to all the sights . The palace is an elegant building with marble staircases and fresco paintings on the walls . We even had our own terrace and boat landing right on the canal . Valeria , our host was a wonderful person with a generous , lovely spirit . She served us a delicious breakfast each morning and when we lost a passport she helped us fill out the police report . We couldn 't have done it without her ! Our pleasant , two - bedroom apartment in Verona was the largest bnb we stayed in . Our host , Andrea calls his bnb , ' Maria Callas ' in honor of the opera festival where Maria Callas made her debut . It 's a five - minute walk to the Roman arena where the festival is held each summer . It 's also an easy walk to Juliet 's House and other sights in Verona . Next we stayed in Marco 's ' comfy flat in the center of Milan ' . Marco even came to get us at the subway stop when we got lost and he helped us with our bags . The apartment was very comfortable and within walking distance of Milan 's Gothic Cathedral and city center . It also had something that I quickly learned was a novelty , an elevator ! Silvia 's ' Da Baranin BnB ' in Cinque Terre was worth the climb , but then everything in Cinque Terre is uphill ! Da Baranin BnB has lovely views , private patios , nice rooms and a fantastic breakfast with homemade cakes and excellent coffee . Top it all off with a helpful staff and it made for a wonderful stay . The most adventurous place we rented was in Florence . It was Noel 's artist studio with a beautiful , rooftop view of the Duomo . The studio is in a five - hundred - year - old building that must have been newly constructed when Leonardo was painting his masterpieces . This bnb is not for the faint - hearted , ( think camping in the middle of Florence ) . The studio is up six flights of stairs , the floors are dusty from the plaster walls and the bathroom is tiny . It is however , very charming and historic ( the kitchen sink is a roughed - out stone slab ) and the view is breathtaking . Oh yes , remember to bring your own towels . In Paris we stayed in Gilles ' ' flat in the heart of Le Marais ' . This location could not be more picturesque and convenient . We loved Gilles ' compact and efficient studio with its exposed beams and winding staircase . Our window looked down on the cobblestone courtyard with its wide doors leading out to the street . Originally the doors were built large enough to allow for the carriages of the aristocratic noblemen who lived in this neighborhood in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries . In London we stayed in two different places and the experiences were completely different . Manthe 's Chelsea studio was much nicer but Glenn 's private room with a shared bath in Soho was a better location . The Book of Mormon was at the Prince of Wales Theater just around the corner and it was a two - minute walk to Piccadilly Station . I was initially nervous about sharing a bathroom with strangers but it turned out fine . Be forewarned , the water didn 't always work well in the mornings . At the end of the day , did we have any negative experiences or safety issues with airbnb ? Not one . Would I stay with airbnb again ? Absolutely . What I learned was that while the locations and amenities of airbnbs are important , the most important thing by far are the people , the hosts who made us feel right at home . We experienced firsthand that we weren 't just renting a room . We were making local connections , making true friends and expanding our community one bnb at a time . on August 22 , 2015 in The Traveling Story Teller with no comments by kfordk After many years of dreaming about it , my daughter and I finally take a summer trip to Europe together . For months , this trip has been all I could think about . Along with trying to stuff as many things as possible into a tiny suitcase , I try to cram as many cities and events into our schedule as possible . At some point though , I did stop and wonder , ' Why are we doing this ? Why do we travel ? Why pull ourselves away from the comforts of home and familiar habits and allow ourselves to be thrown happily and sometimes recklessly into the unknown ? ' On this trip , I hope to find an answer . In Italy we are charmed by romantic Venice and we spend a lazy morning feeding the pigeons in the Piazza San Marcos . As I watch the birds surround my daughter , I can 't help but wonder how much history the thousands of generations of pigeons have witnessed . Maybe they saw Casanova escape through the roof of his prison cell or witnessed Lord Byron swim the length of the Grand Canal . They must have seen Marco Polo 's ship sail into the harbor , bringing his exotic tales from the east . Maybe they witnessed Michelangelo 's disappointment as he lost the contest to design the famous Rialto Bridge . They may have even caught a glimpse of Hemingway as he sat writing or drinking whiskey at one of the glossy , walnut tables in Harry 's Bar . In Verona , the city that inspired Romeo and Juliet , stands a Roman Arena once used for gladiator fights and for throwing Christians to the lions . Walking down the darkened stone corridors into the belly of the Arena we can still feel the overwhelming power that was Rome . We enter the Arena in our finest clothes , just as the Romans must have done to watch their entertainments , but instead of bloody combat , we are here to watch a lavish production of the opera , Aida . Everything is larger than life here : massive , glistening , gold pyramids , blue and gold sphinxes and giant pharaohs tower over the stage with the arches of the arena liFinally in Florence , the rooftop terrace of our five hundred year old building , now an airbnb , offers an incredible view of Brunelleschi 's dome . The seven flights of stairs are worth the climb and I sit on the terrace at night with a bottle of wine . I 'm even serenaded from the street below . One night it was carnival music , another night it was classical from a nearby concert , and on the last night it was drunken love songs sung in Italian accompanied by an equally drunk accordion player . Beyond Florence , we love Tuscany with its fields of sunflowers , rolling hills , wine tasting and food . Despite being certain that we will tire of pasta , we never do . We take a side trip to visit beautiful Dubrovnik in Croatia . How surprised the medieval builders would be to learn that the city with its massive , sea wall and splendid views has been turned into a giant stage for the filming of King 's Landing in Game of Thrones . From the battles of Blackwater Bay to Queen Cersei 's walk of atonement , the fantasies of today and the historical events of the city sometimes mirror each other . At the end of the day , there 's even a chance to sit on the Iron Throne . From this point on our trip is mostly about art ( and occasionally shopping ) . In Paris we visit the rock star of the art world , Mona Lisa . After hurrying down a long corridor of ignored masterpieces , we find her surrounded by an international mob . Some tourists stand and stare at her . Others push and shove to get to the front of the crowd and take obnoxious selfies . A few pull back and look at the painting from afar . I work my way through the crowd and have a brief moment at the front before the overworked security guards , who look more like bouncers at a posh , European nightclub than museum guards , make everyone move . Some visitors refuse to budge . I can 't blame them . After all , Mona Lisa is Leonardo 's beloved creation with a thousand secrets and he carried her with him until the day he died . My daughter and I give up fighting the crowd and move to the side . Reluctantly , after an hour in her benevolent gaze , we leave . Our trip is nearing an end and I 'm beginning to understand why we travel . After five weeks on the road , we are not the same people we were when we left . Travel allows us to fill our lives with adventure . It gives us unlimited opportunities to experience a dream . We have a chance to reap the world 's riches for inspiration and return home to create something wildly different and new . We take the kindness , charm and humor of the people we meet along the way and bring the memories home with us . We leave some of ourselves behind too . And despite the money we spend , we are far richer towards the end of our travels than we were at the beginning . We still have a few days left , so after leaving Paris , we head to London . We take in everything we can , from a five - hundred - year - old comedy at Shakespeare 's Globe to Sherlock 's fictional haunts , from the gold - encrusted gates of Buckingham Palace to Harry Potter 's cupboard under the stairs . And London serves to remind us that sometimes , travel is just about having as much fun as possible . We didn 't have any books . Instead the professor handed out faint , mimeographed pages containing the stories of Gabriel Garcia Marquez , master of magical realism and literary journalism . We read them aloud while our professor became increasingly animated in his enthusiasm , pausing only to push the hair from his eyes . As the stories came alive , we realized that this level of learning could not be contained to a bare and dusty classroom . Some of us accompanied the professor to a series of cafes around town , drinking beer until we were tipsy , talking for hours and filling our hungry souls with the delicious adventures of shipwrecked sailors , old Caribbean soldiers , ethereal beauties and the ghosts who coexist with the living only because they are too stubborn to succumb to death . This epiphany was to set me on a lifelong pursuit for adventure , travel and opportunities to experience different cultures ; a continual thirst to see the world through different eyes and to write about it . For the first time I had been given license to be the person I really wanted to be . The magical realism of Gabriel Garcia Marquez had given me the freedom to soar . When I ran home after class and told the senora in the house where I lived about my discovery , she handed me a succulent plateful of carne de res , arroz and the bright red flower petals known as colorin . I told her how wonderful it was to read about a world that was turned upside down but that made so much sense at the same time . She looked at me with a dry expression , " Es normal , " she said . " That 's how we all see the world . " Her comments made me smile . I borrowed an antique typewriter and with senora 's blessing , I started writing my first , full - length novel on her kitchen table . The family 's elderly , maiden aunt , Tia Pilar showed up even before I was finished with page one . " I will keep you company while you finish your task , " she explained . " We will be like sisters every afternoon . " True to her word , she showed up each day to sit nearby fingering her rosary , while my own fingers tapped on the typewriter keys . She only stopped coming when I had finished the last page . Gabriel Garcia Marquez opened my young mind to the unlimited possibilities of imagination , creativity and diverse cultural experience . It was one of the greatest gifts I have ever received and in a very real way it changed the course of my adult life forever . So today , as I pay homage to Gabriel Garcia Marquez , I dust off my tattered copies of his books , open One Hundred Years of Solitude and begin to read . Here once again is the band of ragged gypsies who arrived in the mythical , Caribbean town of Macondo , bringing with them the learned alchemist , Melquiades . In turn , Melquiades brought the first magnets that anyone had ever seen in Macondo . on March 29 , 2014 in The Traveling Story Teller with no comments by kfordk My ancestors hail from eight different countries and three separate continents , yet my Irish ties have always held a special fascination . Maybe it 's because my Irish relatives are so colorful and they tell such good stories . Whatever the reason , I 'd always imagined that my Irish ancestors were somehow bigger than life . On my first trip to Ireland , I 'm hoping to find out if this is true . Upon arriving in Dublin , the first thing I am aware of is that I am the foreigner here and I 'm not comfortable with that . I wanted to feel at home , to be welcomed by the somehow familiar faces of ghosts . Instead , I see retired Americans fulfilling a life - long dream and young parents proudly herding their red - headed offspring through museums and castles . I 'm surprised to discover that they have come for much the same reason I have . They are all a little sheepish and apologetic about it . They have no explanation for the strong pull that Ireland has always had on them . Seems my journey is not so unusual after all . I drive across Ireland alone , something which is viewed as not only strange here , but downright shocking . In the countryside , the dominant colors are the emerald green of the rolling hills and the comforting blue of the Irish sky . My eyes ache from straining to catch sight of every thatch - covered cottage and meandering stone wall . I pass ring forts and round towers , monasteries and castles . Contrary to all predictions , it does not rain . The whole country has a clean , smoky smell from the peat fires . It reminds me of my Irish grandmother 's house . Am I making this trip for her , I wonder . I stop to visit the crumbling stone walls of a " famine village . " A man in a tweed coat and cap explains to me that everyone in this village perished during the great famine . Even though the potato famine occurred more than 150 years ago , he makes it sound like a current event . I thank him for the information and travel on to the next hotel . The woman behind the desk seems more curious than most . She asks me the usual questions : " Why are you in Ireland … and why are you alone ? " She immediately begins talking about the living relatives I must have somewhere in Ireland . I had not been thinking about the possibility of relatives in the present ; all this time , I had only been searching for my past . She asks question after question but I have few answers . " You must find out , " she says . Finally , she pauses and then continues , " I didn 't want to say anything at first , but you are the spitting image of my great - great aunt . You even have the same name . It 's even spelled the same way . And she had three brothers who emigrated to America . We may be cousins ! " We exchange addresses and she promises to send me a photograph of my twin who she claims even had similar interests , mannerisms and gestures . " Your voice sounds just like hers and you even walk the same way , " she says . I have to wonder , Is this the ghost I 've been looking for : a mirror image of myself ? With my trip nearing its end , I reach the Cliffs of Moher . I stand on the precipice and stare out across the Atlantic . I think of my ancestors leaving the land they loved , saying goodbye to families they would never see again . I think of their dreams and their promises to return one day . In that instant , the reason for my trip becomes clear to me . Along with my Irish hair and Irish eyes , I have also inherited my ancestors ' unfulfilled promises . This is a journey I have made for them . I return to Dublin and spend one final night . Then on my final taxi ride to the airport , the driver asks me about my trip . I tell him that I drove around Ireland by myself . " You must be mad ! A woman shouldn 't drive around Ireland by herself " He ignores the whizzing lanes of traffic in front of him to turn around and look at me . " You must be mad , " he says again . on March 27 , 2014 in The Traveling Story Teller with no comments by kfordk Traveling is often an unintentional pilgrimage . This was especially true of my trip to Amsterdam several years ago . On the first day , I went through my guidebook and checked off all the tourist sites I planned to visit : the museums , the flower markets and oh yes , the Anne Frank House . I had almost forgotten about that . I made a check by the entry . Then I underlined it and decided to go there first . As I set off in search of the house , I realized that Anne Frank 's diary was one of the most important books of my childhood . I remembered the photograph of Anne on the front cover . It was Anne 's favorite because she thought it made her look like a glamorous , Hollywood movie star . And I remembered Anne 's bright , optimistic vision for the future . The tall , narrow houses on Prinsengracht canal all looked the same , but the Anne Frank House was easy to spot . A long line of people waited outside . As I took my place at the end , I realized that most of the people in line were women . None of us spoke the same language , but all of us had read Anne Frank 's diary and all of us were on this unintentional pilgrimage together . Finally the line moved . We entered the building which housed Otto Frank 's business . He sold pectin for jams and jellies and spices for meats and sausages . We climbed a steep Dutch staircase , stepped through the revolving staircase and we were in the " Secret Annex " where Anne , her family and four others hid for over two years . Traces of the family remain but there is no longer any furniture in the rooms . The Nazis took it all after the family was arrested and shipped it to Germany . On the day the Dutch police discovered their hiding place , the arresting officer grabbed the bag in which Anne kept her diary and schoolbooks . He dumped the contents on the floor and filled the bag with money and jewelry . After the family was arrested and taken away , Miep Gies , the helper who brought them food from the black market , saved the diary , planning to return it to Anne after the war . In the living room of the Secret Annex there are some faded marks on the doorframe where Anne 's father measured her height . She grew several inches despite the moldy beans , preserved kale and potatoes , which was often all they had to eat . A map on the wall marks the advancing Allies as reported over their secret radio . The space above Anne 's desk is still decorated with her favorite postcards : Hollywood movie stars and a young Princess Elizabeth of Great Britain . Through a crack in the window we could see the Westertoren clock and a chestnut tree , Anne 's only view of the outside world . My fellow pilgrims and I huddle around a glass case which contains the original diary bound in red - and - white plaid cloth . The fragile lock is broken open . Many women are tearful . Everyone is moved . No one speaks . We feel grief over the tragedy of Anne 's life . But we are also in awe of the power of a single voice , Anne 's voice to reach countless millions across several generations , and in over one hundred languages with her vision of hope and compassion . On the wall is a list of " Judentransport , " which names all the people on that last train out of Holland bound for Auschwitz . Halfway down the list we find number 309 : Frank , Anneliese . Anne and her family were sent to Auschwitz where her mother and the other occupants of the " Secret Annex " were killed . Anne and her sister were later moved to the concentration camp at Bergen Belsen where Anne died in March , 1945 , just a few weeks before the Allies liberated that camp . In 1704 , Selkirk was First Mate on her majesty 's ship , the ' Cinque Ports ' . The unfit Captain , William Dampier , was determined to round the dangerous waters of Cape Horn in a stormy sea . The worm - eaten ship was badly damaged when it finally limped into the Pacific , barely making it to a tiny uninhabited island sometimes used by pirates . Nighttime was the worst time as he heard strange howling noises coming from the beach . Fearing that they were sea monsters come to shore , he hid in the rocks , screaming in terror until he fell asleep from exhaustion . He didn 't sleep for long . Soon he was awakened by the sharp pain of island rats gnawing at his feet . Eventually he discovered that the howling noises came from sea - lions and not monsters . Selkirk thought he wouldn 't have long to wait for rescue but weeks turned into months and he resigned himself to making his home on the island . He had brought only a few things with him from the ship : his bedding and clothing , a rifle , a pound of powder and bullets . He also had a hatchet , a knife and a kettle . And to pass the time he had a Bible , his mathematical instruments and a few books . He explored the island and found freshwater springs as well as wild goats and cats left behind by Spanish ships . There were fat turnips and sweet cabbage trees , Jamaica pepper and Malagita for seasoning . He found sweet black plums which were difficult to get ; they grew on high trees in rocky terrain . He also ate tender turtle meat and rich crawfish which were as big as lobsters . At first he found it difficult to eat meat and fish without salt and bread , but in time he grew accustomed to these simple tastes . Selkirk built a hut out of fragrant pimento wood , covered it with long grasses and lined it with wild goat skins . Almost out of powder , he began running after the goats to catch them and soon wore out all of his shoes . His bare feet became hard from running on the rocks . The big rats that gnawed on his feet at night were still a problem , so he tempted wild kittens with goat meat until he had tamed a hundred cats . They slept in his hut with him at night , keeping the rats at bay . A few of the cats even followed him like dogs on his hunting expeditions . He also tamed goat kids . Sometimes in the moonlight he danced with his cats and goats for company . Vigorous exercise kept him in remarkable shape and in time he began to find joy and tranquility in his solitude . He practiced devotion with prayers , meditation and reading the Bible , his cats always close by . In time he gave up speaking altogether and relaxed into a blissful state that he had never known before . His adventure became an inner tranquil journey that few ever experience . Four years and four months later , he was found by an English ship but Selkirk was indifferent to being rescued . The sailors had to talk him into returning to England and even stayed for some time with him on the island before he was ready to leave . They knew Selkirk was a good privateer and they wanted him to help them capture rich enemy vessels . Selkirk worried most about his hundred cats . They were so tame that they were semi - dependent on the goat meat he fed them and he knew they could not all survive without him . When the sailors finally convinced him to leave the island , it broke his heart to leave his cats and he cried like a baby until the island was out of sight . Selkirk returned to England a rich man from his pirating but he never adjusted to life in civilization . Without the vigorous exercise , he lost both strength and agility and he frequently voiced regrets about leaving the island . He was never able to get used to drinking alcohol again and the food did not agree with him . For a time he lived in a cave in Scotland . And at the time of his death , he was planning to return to the island . He once said , " I am now worth 800 Pounds , but shall never be so happy , as when I was not worth a Farthing . " on July 28 , 2012 in Latest News with no comments by kfordk " It is not the strongest of the species that survives , nor the most intelligent that survives . It is the one that is the most adaptable to change . " Charles Darwin When I was nineteen I went to Mexico for a year . I thought I would learn a little Spanish and return home the same person I was before . But living overseas changes the traveler and I returned home a different person . I lived with the Lorenzo family . Senor and Senora Lorenzo were school teachers . They worked hard all week but every weekend there was a party to attend . There were weddings , Quinceanera and family parties . When the music started , grandparents , parents and children all danced together . And they often danced until 3 am . When the children were tired , the parents picked them up and continued dancing while the children dozed on their shoulders . For the Lorenzos , any celebration was an excuse to dance . I couldn 't imagine my family in America dancing together for any reason . Next I went to live in France and I learned to enjoy the simplicity of eating and conversing with others . I learned to never talk about politics or anything upsetting at the table . The French believe it 's healthy to only talk about pleasant things while eating . Consequently , they spend an extraordinary amount of time talking about food and its preparation . Not too surprising , the first words I learned in French were les miette or bread crumbs and the names of various kitchen utensils . In Japan , I learned the grace of living in a crowd . The first words I learned were Sumimasen , Gomen nasai , Arigato Gozaimasu . Excuse me . I 'm sorry . Thank you . And eventually I found the stillness within , necessary for being at peace amid the chaos of Tokyo . on May 20 , 2012 in Latest News with no comments by kfordk Twenty years ago , I traveled through Nepal with some friends . Even though we were traveling on a shoestring , prices were so low that we were able to hire a car and a driver and tour the entire country . Along one narrow , treacherous stretch of road , men were working to widen the road by blasting away rock from the mountain side . We had to stop while they worked . As we waited , I looked out the car window and saw a young woman working in the rubble . This caught my interest immediately since I had seen very few women working in any capacity since I arrived in Nepal . Her back was to me and her long skirt and hands were covered with dust . As I watched , she filled a large basket with rocks . After she filled the basket , she took a long strap - like handle attached to the basket and put it around her forehead so that she could carry the basket on her back . I thought to myself , this is the worst job in the world ! I was beginning to feel very sorry for this young woman who was doing such back - breaking work , when she turned to face me . I was shocked to see that she looked extremely happy , almost euphoric , as if she was the most successful woman in the world .
|
Hello ! ! ! ! I 've returned from an unscheduled blog break to tell you about the sweet doll I made . Making a doll has been on my craft wish list for some time . Right before Thanksgiving I saw that Lisa from the wonderful blog Big Little was asking for pattern testers to make a Fleur . Even though it was right before I was going away for Thanksgiving and had lots of other stuff to do , I jumped at the chance . I thought ( and still do ) that it was such a special looking doll and that it would get me to check this off my list . I was thrilled to be selected to be a pattern tester . Little did I know that this was the kind of pattern I needed to make my first doll . It is very detailed for every part of the doll making - clothes ( where I was most confident ) , embroidery , sewing the actual doll , and hair ( the rest of the doll process I was less confident initially ) . I really had no idea how to make a doll and the details in the pattern really answered most of my questions . Because I wanted to start right away and had the materials needed to make the clothes and shoes , I sewed them first . It was so fun . I used some liberty lifestyle for the dress and and some other unknown quilting cotton for the bloomers . I love the little bow on the bloomers . I couldn 't wait to make the doll after I made the clothes . Sewing the doll was easier than I thought it would be . Lisa gives really good instructions for stuffing the doll too which is so important . I was very nervous to do the embroidery for the face . But again the instructions are great and I loved how it came out . Making the hair was so much fun too . This project did take some time but I truly enjoyed every step . Something I really like about the doll making process is the variety of the steps and the different skills it uses . I am definitely hooked on making dolls . I actually made another doll since this one . It was a different kind of pattern . I made a cute doll but the instructions were for someone who I think knew how to make dolls . And the one I made came out really well . I don 't think it would have come out that well , if I hadn 't sewn the Fleur doll first . I do plan on making more Fleur 's too . She is just so special . If you want to purchase this pattern be sure to go to the Big Little shop here . If you purchase before December 20th , you will receive 15 % off using the code Fleur15 . There is also a very generous giveaway where another pattern tester is generously giving away a doll she made with the Fleur pattern to a deserving child . To get the details and enter the giveaway you can go here . Before I go I just need to mention how much my kids love this doll . I am always finding her all over the house because the kids are always playing with her . Here is Stella giving her a kiss . Posted by Just a quick post to show some finished projects . Sorry about the grainy I - phone photos but that is the best I can do right now . And if you follow me on IG you have seen all these photos already : ) I made this little fox from the kit by Alicia Paulson . I love her patterns and everything she makes so much . I actually have bought all the kits for the animals but this is only the second one I made . I 'll give it to Luke for his birthday on Thursday . He loves foxes . These mittens I finished Saturday . I should put them on Ravelry but I am very behind with that . ( I have a cowl I finished weeks ago that I didn 't list and haven 't even taken a picture of it ) . It is from this book . I used the Martha Stewart extra soft wool blend yarn . I made the size small and instead of pink button eyes ( they weren 't working for me ) I did brown little x 's . And I used my clover pom pom maker to make a really big tail . They look a little deformed in this picture the way Stella is wearing them but they really are cute . And these PJ 's were a lot of fun to make this weekend . At the end of the summer Janice asked me what size my daughter was and then generously mailed me two sets of fabric all cut out to make two different Oliver and S patterns ( her daughter grew before she could sew them ) . Tracing patterns and cutting fabric is not my favorite part of sewing . It was so fun just to delve right in . These are the bedtime story pajamas from Oliver and S in a size 4 . I don 't know anything about the fabric except that it is soft , cozy , and beautiful . Stella really loves them . She is normally a three so they are large which I think is great . She can wear them at least two years . I 've always wanted to do pajamas for the kids and now I have for one of them : ) They were super easy to sew too . Though I think the sleeves were so easy - I took me a couple minutes to figure it out . Today I am starting on a school days coat for Luke . I didn 't think I was into sew alongs but I am glad I am doing it now . I think today I would have done some cleaning or something else not as fun if not for this sew a long . Hopefully I 'll be back with some coat pictures soon . Posted by Last year when I saw these costumes I knew I really wanted to copy them for this Halloween . But Luke had no interest in being a sheep . I even had a homemade costume in the basement that I wore in the third grade that could pass for a sheep ( I thought I was a bunny back when I was 8 ) but I had given up on the idea . About a month ago I got Luke to agree to try it on and he loved it . He is so in the moment . It was great . His costume just needed a little mending , hemming , and a tail . And then I could focus on Little Bo Peep . I thought about looking at that patterns I had already and trying to figure it out . But I knew I didn 't really have the time or energy to that . I purchased Simplicity 2571 which was for four different Halloween costumes including Little Bo Peep . I actually think the picture on the cover of the pattern doesn 't give justice to the pattern . It is really cute . I should have taken better pictures of what I sewed so you can see it better . Did I mention I don 't have much time or energy right now ? The little pants have ruffles all around them . The apron came out a little a big but I thought it was cute like that making Stela look more little . I love the hat and it was really easy make like the rest of the pattern . The dress didn 't take too long . The zipper came out okay . I have a little gap at the top but it is a Halloween costume so I didn 't sweat it . I bought an unfinished cane on ebay and painted it white . By the time this picture had been taken after lots of running and walking in the rain the bow wasn 't looking so good and fallen down a bit . Stella and Luke love their costumes . What is also nice about both of these costumes is that I can put warm clothes on underneath them . Halloween night can be real chilly here in Maine . We had the Harvest Day costume parade last weekend . They will also get to wear them to school . I love the costumes getting worn in daylight at other times so all that sewing isn 't just for one dark night . Well I finished my " back to school " sewing last Monday but have been so busy I haven 't been able to write about it until now . I am not sure if busy is the right word . I 'm not really that busy but we have had a bunch of changes in our schedule and I just don 't feel like I have gotten into a routine with them yet . As a result there hasn 't been much sewing , knitting , or any crafting since then . But here is the sewing I did prior to that which I really enjoyed . I looked at lunch boxes and didn 't really see any I liked that much . Then I saw this pattern on Pinterest and had to make it . And I wanted my kids ' bags to be white . I feel like I am mom someone could easily make fun of " She made her kids white lunch bags " . But after 7 days of school my son 's bag is still clean ( My daughter hasn 't used hers yet ) . I used an embroidery pattern my friend gave me . It has a bunch of images and Luke and Stella picked out the images they wanted . I was hoping they would pick the sushi but I still love how it came out . I had my heart set on making Stella a Melly and Me toadstool back pack since before she was born ( that is when I bought the book the pattern was in ) . She wanted nothing to do with it . I decided to go with the Little Things to Sew backpack because I knew it would come out . She was pretty picky on the fabric I used too . She picked it out . I loved that it was on sale . I did have a hard time sewing the side panels so they weren 't puckered . I 'm not sure what I was doing wrong but I had to keep going . This outfit was my favorite part of all this sewing . I pinned this dress a while ago . That was my inspiration . I used the picnic blouse pattern and loved everything about it . I sewed a size 3 , added some trim and trimmed pockets . I hemmed it a little longer ( maybe an inch ? ) than was directed because I wanted it to look a little more tunic like since she was going to wear it with leggings . Both the gingham and knit I bought online ( and already forgot where ) . I was pretty happy with them . It can be a gamble buying fabric online . I just started a smock - along and my first smocking project . I am so excited ! I will let you know how it goes . One afternoon last week I was in the mood to try something new so I carved a stamp . I used this tutorial . I found it really relaxing and plan to carve more . Posted by This week I have spent a lot of time thinking about back to school sewing , shopping online and waiting for fabrics and patterns to arrive in the mail . While waiting for things to come in the mail I needed a sewing project . I really should have sewed the sketchbook shirt I cut out for Luke last June . But I decided to make Stella an outfit instead . While looking at my patterns I realized the Oliver and S Sailboat Top and Skirt pattern only went up to 3T so that made my decision easier . I love the skirt but thought pants might be more practical . Her preschool is at a gymnastics center and they do gymnastics each time she goes . I figured pants would be better if I was going to have her wear this to school . I made a size 3 for both the top and pants . I didn 't do any changes from the pattern . I added a little lace to the top where you top stitch . For the pants I cut the elastic to what was recomened for a size four because I thought sometimes pants and shorts are tight around Stella 's middle . But I 'll have to take it in because it is a little too big . The top fabric is Fig Tree Butterscotch and Roses . The lace and buttons are from my stash . The courdoroy for the pants is also from my stash . I 've had for over five years . Some fabric I can date to before I had kids . Actually a lot of fabric I can date like that . I am very excited about the first day of school outfit I have planned for Stella and the lunch bags I am making the kids . I 'm still not sure about the backpack I 'll be making Stella . They start school in a week and a few days so I think I am going to start needing to set the alarm super early to get all this done . And a few modeled pictures . . . . Puppet Theater I don 't know where to begin writing about this item . This has definitely been one of my favorite items in Little Things to Sew ( probably tied with the penguin backpack ) . I have thought about making it for a long time . The challenge really motivated me ( um . . at the last minute ) to finally do it . ( Sorry about the wrinkly photos - I finished it yesterday and we have been keeping it rolled up when not in use ) I have always loved the look of the theater . We also happen to be really into puppets in our house . We have always been doing puppet shows and often making our own puppets . We use to drape a quilt over a gate in our home and stand behind it to do a show . But it was time to take down that gate a few months ago . So we really needed something like this . The pattern and instructions are wonderful . I thought sewing with canvas might be tricky but it wasn 't for this . I think we may have small doorways because it is really snuggled in there but it fits . Everything was from my stash except for the canvas . Even though I have so much fabric I actually had a difficult time finding a fabric that I had enough of for the house that would look okay . Finding the other fabrics and the ribbon too was a little tough . But I love how it all came together . I wish the Little Things to Sew cover to cover challenge would go another year . I still want to make everything in it . I think the art smocks and aprons should be next once I have all the back to school stuff , halloween costumes , Luke 's birthday items , and Christmas sewing completed . So maybe I 'll get to them in January . I could write a few more paragraphs about how much I love this theater . I think it is one of my favorite things I have sewn . And my kids are so excited about it too . I think I need to stop typing and go play with it right now . Posted by Modifications : none I bought this pattern last year I think . I was on a modern fabric buying kick and I thought this pattern would be good for those fabrics . Well those fabrics aren 't my favorites right now . But I really wanted to make this pattern along with all the other patterns I have bought and not tried yet . I have so much fabric I wanted to use something from my stash . So this is what I came up with . I cut it out yesterday and sewed it all today . And I am slow . This pattern is so easy and quick to make with great directions which I really need . I really enjoyed making this . I think I 'll have to make this one next summer too . My kids love it . They love Little Red Riding Hood which is why I think they are so into this dress . While sewing my son kept coming in to tell me it " looks really good " . As you can see Stella thinks so too . When it came time to try it on she insisted on wearing this hat she picked out at Target in the spring . She cracks me up . So here are too many pictures : I love how this dress came out . It has the least amount of mistakes I have made for a clothing item . I am pretty proud . On day 2 I worked a long day and couldn 't sew . But Tuesday , Wednesday , Thursday , and Friday I sewed and sewed . This took me way more than an hour a day . I am slow . Wednesday I had a hard time with sewing the facing . I was confused with the plackets . Our internet was out so I couldn 't go on the forum . I just couldn 't figure it out despite the great instructions . I didn 't understand how the plackets were suppose to be looking when I sewed the facing on . An hour later when the power came on I checked the forum and it had such clear pictures and redirection that I was able to do it . I finished the dress yesterday morning . I was up early to sew today before going to the Maine Quilt Show . I really wanted to make a doll outfit for Bitty . I only had time to start but I think it will be pretty cute . I will post later in the week about the outfit and the quilt show . Until then here are two more pictures of the dress and my beautiful girl . I lost interest in sewing clothes for my kids after finishing the vintage jacket . I think it was a combination of heat , schedule changes , and interest in other projects . In that time I started Luke 's Christmas stocking , a pair of socks , a new quilt , and a granny square blanket for Stella . Someday I 'll finish the sweater I have been making her for the past couple months . I did start and finish this hexie pillow . I used random scraps and 1 1 / 2 inch hexies . This chair in my sunroom has needed a pillow for a while . I have a lot of scraps cut to make more hexies so at some point I will do another hexie project . This was a real quick project I did from a magazine called Your Homemade Home that I impulsively bought at Joann 's last weekend . We have some ugly hangers that really bother me . So I did three and if they hold up I 'll make some more . It was enjoyable to have a quick finished project . Here was another quick project from the same magazine ( sorry about the lousy photo ) . Stella has been really into her tea pot lately which makes me so happy and just melts my heart . She usually places it on one of her quilts which is really cute but I thought I 'd make this special for her tea parties after I saw it in the magazine . Like I said I had been in a sewing rut . Thankfully Elizabeth suggested we sew this top together from Girly Style Wardrobe . I had so much fun sewing with her before that I agreed with excitement . This is pattern A from the book . The hardest part was tracing the pattern . I actually realized after I had cut out the fabric and started sewing that I had made a mistake . I cut the back bodice too short . I didn 't have enough fabric to cut a new one so I sewed a strip for the back using the fabric I used for the pockets . I kind of like my mistake . I am still not sure if I did the lining the way it is suppose to but it seams to work for me . I sewed the 100cm which is the smallest size . Stella is usually a 3T . It is a little big on her but that is good because I would love for her to wear it next summer . The main fabric is a DS quilt fabric from Joanns and the other fabric is some essex linen that I won last summer . The skirt she is wearing in the pictures is the 2 + 2 skirt I made last winter . I was going to make her a matching skirt but I think I will just pair the top with this one . I may even try her wearing this top over a long sleeve shirt in the fall . I am hesitant to say I am doing Kids Clothes Week because I stink at sew - a - longs . I 'd like to try this time around . I have a shirt all cut out for Luke . If I can only find the first part of the sketch book shirt pattern I can make it . So here are more pictures of my girl modeling the top . I have to say it is getting a little easier to get pictures of her . As you can see I was able to find some buttons for Stella 's jacket and finish it . I had it almost done two weeks ago but had to wait for some buttons to arrive from Germany . Here is where I found them . I am pretty happy with them though I wish the trim was silver instead of gold . This is the first vintage pattern I have made . It is Simplicity 6812 and is from 1966 . It is a size 3 . I should have made it back in March so she could wear it a little more but I think I must have become busy with birthday stuff . Then I realized it was a size 3 and I thought I better just go ahead and do it . It is a little big so it is possible it could fit her next spring . It should fit in the fall but I don 't think it would be suitable for fall with the white collar . The fabric is some cotton polyester blend seersucker I bought online . I can 't remember where . I probably should have had the stripes going up and down but I thought the sideways looked more little girlish . I was nervous to make this because I read somewhere vintage pattern 's sewing instructions aren 't as detailed as today 's patterns . And it wasn 't detailed but it wasn 't too bad . But the view I made ( view 3 ) seemed lacking in explanation . So I didn 't really follow a lot of the instructions and sort of winged it . The area under the collar doesn 't lay that nicely but otherwise it came out pretty decently . I actually love it just because I love the stye and the collar with the trim . I have been buying other vintage patterns so I do hope to make some more . I seriously can 't even look at them without buying them . Even if I never make them I love just looking at the envelope . This one is no different and you can see cover here . Posted by I am making a little seersucker spring jacket from a vintage pattern for my girl . I have been searching all day online for buttons for it . I am trying to find large buttons for a coat that are vintageish looking . I wanted a pearl - like shank button . I can 't find any large enough . The pattern actually gives totally wrong information about what is needed for buttons but I am thinking something around 1 1 / 2 inches would look good . Does anyone know where I can find some ? I may break down and look at some jackets in some second hand shops and cut them off but that could be costly for buttons . I don 't even know if this jacket will turn out . I was going to start Luke 's t - shirt before this jacket but my husband threw out the piece of ribbed knit fabric he found in the dryer . He thought it was a scrap and trash . I was a little annoyed at first but I think it is funny now . I am lucky he doesn 't throw out half of my craft stuff . Posted by I bought this pattern ( Oliver and S Bubble dress ) over a year ago and I am so happy to have finally made it . I did version A which is the one with the scallops but you can hardly see them in the photos . I took a lot of pictures since it is quite a challenge to take a picture of Miss Stella that isn 't a blur from her running . The pictures I took with my phone came out better than the ones I took with my camera . But you can 't really see the scallops . They kind of blend in when she is wearing it too . I made a size 3 and it fits her pretty close to perfect . I think there is enough room so that it will fit her until the fall . The fabric is one I bought from a little sewing shop near me which sadly is closing at the end of the month . It is a very light and sheerish cotton which is why I wanted to use it for a lined dress . I just used some white quilting cotton I had for the lining . I am very happy with it . I feel like I am starting to get better at picking fabrics I really like where before I may have been picking fabrics I really like for 5 minutes or a couples weeks . Do you know what I mean ? It makes me much happier with my sewing . I do have to make something for my boy next ( not counting a matching doll dress to this one ) . He had to say what makes me a great mom at school for them to write on a certificate he gave me . He said I was the greatest because I " makes clothes for us " . So I really have to do some boy sewing . I bought some knit fabric for a t - shirt . I hope to start soon . Posted by I have spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of stockings to make for my little cuties . I actually did make one for Luke after his first Christmas but it was awful . I used modern fabric and a modern pattern and it just wasn 't us . When I first saw this stocking on Posie Gets Cozy ( which I am sure you have seen because you already read her blog because it the most beautiful blog ever ) my heart stopped . I thought about it a lot and then last fall decided to make it . I can 't remember when I started working on it but I bought the pattern for the cross stitch part in the middle last fall . I bought it here . That part took me a very long time . I haven 't done much cross stitch . I loved it though and want to do a lot more . I bought the pattern for the letters from the same place . The bunny is from Alicia Paulson 's Embroidery Companion and I think it is the same one from her Winter Woodland Sampler . I was pretty scared to cut the stocking shape out after I did all the cross stitch . What if I made a mistake after all that time ? But it came out just how I wanted . I will make a similar one for Luke but I may wait to start it until I finish a couple knitting projects that I would like completed for summer . I finished Luke 's sweater vest last week just in time for the second half of spring and summer . Ooops . I started it back in January with the plan to finish it right away but then I took some classes to make somethings for myself and I put it aside . I hope it still fits him in the fall . It is looking a little short in this picture . Girls can wear sweater vests too , right ? Details about the sweater are here . I guess I will start making some Spring / Summer clothes for Stella . I have so many patterns I have never used so I think I will be opening one of them soon . Maybe the Rollerskate dress ? I think that isn 't suppose to use much fabric . edited 1 hour later - I am going with Oliver and S 's Bubble dress pattern . Stella picked a very sheer fabric that I have one yard of . It really needs a lining . So Bubble dress it is . I have to make a bag for my niece too but I keep changing my mind how I want to make it . I found a pattern I am excited about it . Now I need to find some sweet owl fabric . Posted by I have two little cuties who I love to play with , craft with , shop for , and make stuff for . I also love making stuff for our home to make it more cozy , and I enjoy making gifts too . Someday I will make something for my wonderful husband .
|
Happy Halloweener , everyone ! This is my favorite holiday of the YEAR ! ! Isn 't this little guy so cute ? I borrowed him from this website of weiner dog art . I 'm not feeling particularly festive today . I didn 't even dress up like I usually do . Honestly , I 'm having a very hard time with the devastation from these fires . The fires did not burn my house , my property or even anywhere near me , but I am very bothered by what has happened . I just feel unsettled and anxious and sad . I can 't imagine what other people have gone through . Tami was evacuated from her home and by some luck in the universe , her home was still standing when she was allowed back home . I 'm very grateful for that . I can 't really put my finger on what is really bothering me , but something is and I need to get to the crux of it because it is making me nuts . Those scary little trick - or - treaters will have to get candy somewhere else tonight , because I 'm locking the door and turning off the light . I 'm just not in the mood . Tomorrow will be a better day . Oh , yeah , Oct 31 - Nov 2 is Dia de los Muertos . I wish we 'd celebrate that day , too . Since the big Blog Action Day events about global warming and such , I 've been thinking a lot about my part in the whole thing . As one person , I can 't do it all , but I can do my part . If we all did our part , it could be amazing . So I 've committed myself ( no not like to an institution ) to doing a new earth - friendly thing each week . I will post on Mondays and you can comment on the new thing that you 've done to not contribute to pollution , global warming , etc . It can be a simple as walking to the post office , starting to recycle cardboard , cans , etc . You get the idea . So , what did I do today ? Well , when I went to Sprouts to get my teas and veggies , I picked up some of those canvas shopping bags . They were on sale for 99 cents each . I bought 12 of them . These are big green tote bags with the Sprouts logo on them . You take them into the store and you have the bagger put your groceries in them instead of paper or plastic . You can get more groceries into each bag and they are sturdier than paper or plastic , too . So , head out to your local farmers marketplace or local produce store and pick up some canvas bags . Here is a link I found for some of the bags : BAGS . Hey , you could even make your own bags , how about that ? Yeah , so I made this thing . When Julie made us ( haha ) make these Christmas ornaments last weekend , it got me to thinking about making personalized ornaments . This isn 't an ornament . It 's just a thing . I picked up a few of these paper mache heart things at Michael 's . I first painted the whole thing with Mod Podge . I did that because , as Julie explained about the Gesso , if I didn 't put down a base coat first , the paint would just soak up into the thing and get all yucky . I used the matte finish Mod Podge . Then I got out some of my cheapo acrylic paints and painted in the colors I liked . I chose a couple of pinks and painted them all messy - like all over front , sides and back . While that was drying , I picked out the stamps I was going to use . I picked the old ladies stamp by River City Rubber Works and the sentiment by Stampabilities . After the pink paints dried , I painted on some green and some blue . I let that dry just a little , and then I took a damp paper towel and rubbed some of the paint off so the pink would show through . I let that dry . I dipped a dry paintbrush into the apricot paint and lightly tapped it onto the front , sides and back of the thing . Then I inked the old ladies up with black StazOn ink and stamped it on the thing . It didn 't stamp well so I got my StazOn stamp cleaner out and rubbed off the icky image . I knew it wouldn 't bother the acrylic paint because the StazOn cleaner is not water - based . Then I decided to stamp with the StazOn on vellum . I cut out the image and then Mod Podged it on to the heart thing . That worked really well , except I really had to watch for wrinkles and bubbles in the vellum . I had to lift the vellum and do a bit of adjusting . I put lots and lots of Mod Podge on top of the vellum . I stamped the sentiment on striped paper and then cut out each word . I Mod Podged each word onto the thing where I wanted them and the put more Mod Podge over the whole ornament again . I let it dry in front of the fan and then I got out a regular old black sharpie and made dots all around the edges - Hi everyone . Thank you for your concern and attention to the tragedy that has hit southern California . It is really a mess down here . The wildfires have made their mark yet again , but fortunately , only a few lives have been lost . I believe 1 or 2 from San Diego County and maybe the same number in Orange County . So many people have been evacuated and displaced but things seems to be working out . There are lots of people at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego . The Chargers are supposed to play Houston on Sunday , but that may or may not happen . When they thought the stadium would be full of people , they moved the Chargers to Phoenix for practice . They thought , well maybe we can just move the game to the Cardinals ' stadium , but there is a motorcycle event there on Sunday . If the game was in Phoenix , many San Diegans would go because it 's only an hour flight to Phoenix from here . Next thing I heard was that they would play in Dallas . Dallas ? ! Yes . We couldn 't give the Texans the home field advantage because it was OUR home field advantage , so they picked Houston 's rival , Dallas , for the home field . That really sucks . Ok , but NOW I heard on the radio this morning , that since so many of the fire evacuees have been allowed to return home , they may move the rest of them from Qualcomm to other shelters to that we can have the game at home . YIPPEE ! It 's up to Jerry Sanders now to make the decision . Keep your fingers crossed . I need a diversion from the fires . I know I haven 't reported much on the fires in the past few days . Nothing much is happening in our area and I 'm not glued to the television as in the beginning , so I 've nothing really to report . I did see the news last night and saw some of the devastation . It just breaks your heart to see so many homes destroyed . The good thing is , they are just homes . Brick and mortar . No lives were lost . I saw one couple standing outside their home and they said they had lost their home in the Cedar fire of 2003 , too . I hope they rebuild somewhere else now . I don 't think that location is meant to have a house on it . Our Governator has been visiting the area . I 'll bet he visited the Orange County fire area as well . He has been much more proactive with resources for us than Davis did . I won 't go on and on about this . If you live here , you know . I heard Bush was supposed to be here yesterday or today or something . Oh great , a live speech from the President . What speech will he bumble through this time ? I think he 's been in office too long . He 's used up all his words and can 't put two words together that make sense . That 's all for now . I may post later tonight and post some cards I 've made . I 'll leave you with this : do a RAK ( Random Act of Kindness ) today . What would the world be if everyone did a RAK every day ? Wow . Oh , and recycle . Ok , here are some photos I took today after work . The first picture was taken from my back yard . It is looking west as the sun went down . It really was that orange outside . Kind of creepy , huh ? It was smoky and there was a lot of ash in the air . I wanted to show the smoke level over this part of San Marcos . Right at the bottom of this hill are a bunch of apartments and California State University San Marcos . The University ( CSUSM ) has been closed for this week . It 's weird since there wasn 't much traffic on the road when I was and it was even 5 : 30pm - rush hour . The Coronado Hills fire , the one that is now 100 % contained , was up on the hill to the right in this picture . In the next picture , you can almost see the burnt areas near the road . Most of the fire was was up on the mountain . I couldn 't stop to take a picture because the road is so steep and I didn 't want to get in trouble with the Sheriff by being a looky - loo . This picture was taken looking west . I was at the top of the hill on Twin Oaks Valley Road . To the north ( previous picture ) is the City of San Marcos , and this picture is the community of San Elijo Hills , a community of about 3 , 000 homes on the south side of Mt . Whitney . No , not THE Mt . Whitney , the San Marcos Mt . Whitney . : ) Anyhoo , this picture was enhanced . I used the sunset setting on my camera to bring out the colors of the hills and the sky . This sky is so smoky . I love how it makes for beautiful sunsets , but then again , it is smoke . Here is the road heading north on Twin Oaks Valley Road . The two hills that look like a part of a woman 's anatomy ( Did you know it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month ? It was a cheap plug , but I 'll take what I can get . ) is where the Coronado Hills fire was . Parts of San Elijo Hills were evacuated because they were afraid the fire would jump the road and race through the canyon towards La Costa and on into Encinitas through San Elijo Hills . This is another view of the same mountains just to show the smoke coming from the east . Just beyond Coronado Hills to the east , is Harmony Grove . Harmony Grove is a very wooded homes area and the fire was very close when I took the picture . All the residents of Harmony Grove were evacuated . The next picture was taken in Escondido . I wanted to see if I could see the flames from the Witch Creek fire as it moved up Palomar Mountain but all I got was smoke . Palomar Mountain is east of San Marcos . Palomar has been the victim of many fires . It 's just so sad to see it burning again . Tonight the fire is blazing on the mountain . The fire is on the ridge of the mountain and looks like a glowing snake . I can 't resist taking pictures of the sun going down in all this haze . Such pretty colors . The last picture was taken while driving west on the 78 near the 15 . You can see the smoke above and below the yellow haze . That 's all I have for now . I don 't think I will have any pictures of the actual fire . I hope I don 't , anyways . If I get pictures of flames , it will because the Witch Creek fire has gone through Harmony Grove and up Coronado Hills again . I 'm working today , so not much time to take pictures outside . I can see from my window that the whole area is glowing yellow . Not from the fire , but from the sun . Not a sunny glow . The air is thick with smoke and the sun shining makes it glow . There is a heavy ash all over everything . At times you can see it falling from the sky . When I drove in to work this morning , I put a damp washcloth over my mouth and nose to breathe . You can feel it burn when you breathe . The temperature is hot , about 85 , and the humidity is less than 25 % . Wind WNW at 4mph right now but it peaked at about 38mph sometime during the night . The fires have grown and changed directions and even combining with other fires . Total homes evacuated is over 500 , 000 now . That 's half a million HOMES ! Figure at least 2 people per home - that 's over 1 million people having to find shelter or hotel rooms in 2 days . Some evacuation orders have been ordered for the coastal towns of Del Mar , Solana Beach and Encinitas . Those orders are voluntary at this point , meaning people can leave now if they want to , or they can wait until the mandatory order is issued . I heard that there are no more hotel rooms between the Mexican border and the Orange County line . Here 's a link to a google map that shows the fire areas , the evacuation areas and the shelters . If you are unfamiliar with the area , San Marcos is off the 78 , right near the 15 intersection . You 'll have to zoom in on the map to see it more clearly . Zoom in a bit farther and look where the two red exclamation point ( ! ) triangles are near West Valley Parkway . Ok , now look a bit to the left . Do you see Harmony Grove under the left hand " ! " ? Those people are being evacuated right now . A lot of wooded areas there and a lot of horses and country homes . I 'm only speculating , but if the fire goes through Harmony Grove , it will go over the mountains and join back up where the fire started originally on the hills of San Marcos . The one that is 100 % contained . Get it ? The fire is circling around and weaseling its way back over here . There is plenty of water and power in San Marcos at the moment . SDG & E is asking everyone to cut back on any unnecessary electrical use , but that 's about it . We have not been issued any evacuation orders at this time . Things change with the wind , so we are all glued to our television sets . All went well for us last night . I was glued to the television until midnight when the news crews signed off . We had our bags packed and all the kitty paraphernalia gathered and ready to go if we got a phone call to evacuate . Technically , we were in the red zone , the evacuation zone , but the fire was not headed our way , so we stayed . This morning , the skies are gray and smoky . The air is thick with ash . It 's 8am and already in the 70 's . The air is very dry . I came to work this morning . The building is full of families , friends and pets who were evacuated from various areas of the fires . I feel lost without my television and the constant fire updates . I heard on the radio that OES was going to start letting evacuees from the western part of the county to return to their homes . They said they were reluctant to let everyone in the safer areas back home just in case the winds changed the direction of the fire and they had to re - evacuate . Makes sense . Stay safe out there . Watch the news and do what they say . I have our bags packed and will be ready to go if we get a phone call . Fire did not take over the Wild Animal Park . All the animals are safe . They evacuated the endangered animals earlier today . I am so , so happy ! ! ! Sorry I haven 't posted in awhile . I 'm here at home . We were without power for a little while . I was going through withdrawal from the news on t . v . The skies above are fairly clear . Smoky , but not so dark and scary as earlier today . The wind is still blowing like all get out , but no fire near us . The fire is behind the hill . See the pics I took on previous posts . See the hill behind the palm trees ? That 's the hill that was burning this morning , but no it is only burning on the other side in San Elijo Hills . People there have been evacuated in San Elijo Hills for quite some time . The base of the hills of San Elijo run into Rancho Santa Fe Road - which runs from San Marcos to Encinitas . Just west of Rancho Santa Fe Road is La Costa ( Carlsbad ) . My cousin lives there and he got the reverse 911 call to evacuate . I believe the authorities are concered that the fire will cross Rancho Santa Fe Road . Oops , just listening to the t . v . they have lifted the evacuation for San Elijo Hills . Thank goodness . That means the fire on the hill is under control . You never can tell what the winds will do , so we should keep alert . Besides , the world needs more lerts . haha ! As for the Escondido area , they have issued evacuation orders for all of the San Pascual valley , all the way up to the I - 15 . Bear Valley Parkway residents were told to evacuate hours ago . The smoke is terrible out there . I do not know anything about the Wild Animal Park yet . Oh , I had to come back and edit this . They have evacuated parts of Solana Beach . Solana Beach is west of Rancho Santa Fe . The part of Solana Beach that was evacuated is the part that butts up to the San Elijo Lagoon . ( No relation to San Elijo Hills . ) The concern was that the fire would travel from the I - 15 west along the stream bed through Lake Hodges , Rancho Santa Fe and on to Solana Beach via the lagoon . That part of Solana Beach is also accessible via the open spaces as well . I guess you can 't be too careful . No pictures this time . The sky has cleared considerably just south of me . The big problem now is falling ash and the heavy smoke smell . I 'm not going outside for a long time now . The smoke smell triggers my migraines . I 'll keep you posted on evacuations , etc . The inside / outside kitties ( Cheeto and Frankie ) have given up on the fact that I 'm not going to let them out no matter how much they beg . They have , however , hidden themselves somewhere in the house . Gizmo is still my shadow . Gizmo 's tummy must be upset because I 'm finding kitty puke everywhere . Poor thing . Ok , here is a Google Earth map of stuff I 've been talking about . You 'll have to click the map to see the details . I hope this helps you understand what is where . I couldn 't draw on the fire locations on this map . You can go to http : / / www . signonsandiego . com / to see more details and for locations of the fires . The wind is picking up again . The house is shaking from the force of the wind . Still blue sky above me . I got a call from my Tony , who lives in Encinitas , east of the I - 5 . He said he knows that people are getting the 911 calls . These people are told ( via recording from 911 ) that they should get their belongings together . This notice is a 2 hour notice . If they are required to evacuate , they will be called again by the 911 system to go immediately . Tony has not received a call . Yet . So far , over 250 , 000 people have had to evacuate their homes in San Diego county . Where are all these people going ? Some are headed to Las Vegas . Most are headed towards the coast . Can 't go too far north on the I - 5 because there are fires up there , too . The I - 15 is now closed between the 76 and Rainbow . Where I live , there is no access north or south on the I - 15 . Here are some updated photos . You can see the orange hue to everything now . This smoke is to the south of me . I am not in the direct flow of smoke . As you can see from the first photo , my house is under blue sky now . The air is fairly clear , but I still smell the smoke and can feel it burn my eyes when I go outside to take photos . The second picture was taken from the center of the cul - de - sac looking north . Nice and blue that way right now . You never know what will happen once the wind changes . No phone calls to evacuate here yet . I did hear that Rancho Santa Fe is under mandatory evacuation right now . The county is utilizing the reverse - 911 calling , so residents are being notified that way . The reverse - 911 works in the way that they can make many calls all at once to residents in affected areas . I have a place to go if I get a call . My mom lives in Encinitas and I have an emergency bag of our clothing , meds , documents and cat carriers ready in case we need to leave in a hurry . I don 't think that will happen , but I 'm ready if it does . Oh , I just heard that the San Marcos fire ( Coronado Hills ) has died down a bit . That doesn 't really mean too much because the winds are still blowing pretty good . Flare - ups happen all the time . That 's all for now . These first few pictures are from the tv . The first one gives you a good idea of where the fires are . The second pic shows the freway closures . The next few show some tv pics of freeways that are closed and the smoke . It 's horrible . The last pictures show what it looks like from my house . You can compare the pics to the previous post t see how much more the smoke is coming our way . The first pic is from my backyard looking south towards the San Marcos fire . The next pic is my roof looking up towards the sky . The last pic is from my driveway looking south . I live in southern California . We have fires every year . I get scared every year . The hot Santa Ana winds blow east to west for about a week every year . The winds started over this past weekend . It was about 90 outside and the winds were blowing about 35 - 40 mph . The first fire started up in Ramona , in the Witch Creek area . The second fire is in southeastern San Diego near Jamul . Neither of those fires is anywhere near in control . 0 % contained . Now there is a fire burning on the hills in San Marcos . You can see an ember fire starting to burn here in the first picture . I took this picture from my backyard . See all that thick smoke behind the hill there ? That 's a lot of the smoke from the Witch Creek fire . They have evacuated the people on the hill there . There is a big hill behind my house . So far we 're ok , but you never know where those embers will fall . Many of the freeways and roads are closed in this area . So many people have been evacuated and have headed west . They evacuated Ramona last night . That was over 36 , 000 people . I heard that they have evacuated peope from Rancho Bernardo as well . Rancho Bernardo was the place from the Cedar fire in 2003 . Remember that fire ? Thousands of homes lost . I colored these House Mouse images last year when I bought the stamps . I used Prismacolor pencils and gamsol . I don 't often use gamsol , but thought it might be fun to try it . It makes coloring very easy and quick . I always have a hard time figuring out the layout for my cards , so got out the most recent issue of Cards magazine and picked ones I liked and adapted . I 've mentioned this before , but I am terrible with embellisments . I just don 't know how to put them on , how much to put on or even do I use them at all ? This second card is a very unconventional Halloween card . I colored the lobster more red than orange , so I had to choose paper with more reds in it . This paper is from Memory Box . It 's on of the new ones . I can 't remember the name , but you can find it on the Memory Box website . There are lots of new papers , and yes , I have them all . This last card is 5 . 5 " x 5 . 5 " . I don 't make many cards this size because they take extra postage and they don 't fit in my " for sale " box , but I couldn 't resist the paper and the layout . Isn 't this mouse too cute in his cheese costume ? Yeah , I think so , too . I 'm tempted to send my cards to someone who does good embellishing to see what they would do with the card . You interested ? I 'll send them to you . There are two copies of each card . You embellish them , keep one and send me one of each back . Deal ? Leave a comment . I love blue and brown together . I also love polka dots and paisley . I would say this paper was meant for me . I 've had it for quite awhile and decided it was time to cut it up and part with some of it . I also love justjohanna stamps , and this one is one of my top 50 . Yes , 50 . Have you ever tried to make a top 10 of justjohanna stamps ? It 's tough . What a fun card for an anniversary , a birthday or for a " just because " card . Do you sell your cards ? It 's often been a topic of discussion on the message boards I peruse . If you sell them , then how much do you charge ? It seems the average price I sell my cards for is $ 4 , but some go for as much as $ 10 , depending on if there is a lot of coloring or if it is a custom order . My coworkers often tell me I underprice my cards , but I just feel weird charging more than $ 4 or a card . I sell them at work for the convenience . The money I get for the cards I use to help support my habit . This first one is a little different . For the front of the card , I stamped the mini - snowman and the snowflakes onto a piece of transparency with white pigment ink and then embossed it with white embossing powder . The transparency is sandwiched between the two torn pieces of cardstock . I put some cardstock on the inside of the card so the white embossing on the transparency showed up better . This next one I call " Snow is glistening in Aldenville " . Did you know there is a real Aldenville ? It 's in Pennsylvania . It 's pretty close to Honesdale . Both are stamps by justjohanna . Ok , so that was your trivia for the day . I stamped Aldenville on the light blue cardstock and then drew in a line to anchor the image . Then Iused my White Pearl dimension paint to the town and on the sentiment to make it look like snow . I stamped the snowflake trio in white pigment ink on the blue strip . This last card was just fun . As you can see , I stamped and cut out all the images on this card . I drew the banner around the sentiment . I also drew in the border lines around the card . I 'm really liking this doodling thing . I just have to have more confidence in myself to do it more often . It 's fun . I 'm getting caught up with my justjohanna assignments and I 'm also working on some fun stuff . This first card , " Sea of Love " is one I 've been thinking about for quite some time . All the stamps are by justjohanna . For the jars , I stamped the jar stamp with black Staz - On on a clear transparency , cut them out and then used my silver Krylon pen for the jar lid . I colored on the back of the transparency so that the stamped details would show through . The bubbles were colored in with glitter pen . I ran the transparency jars through my Xyron sticker maker . I was surprised , and pleased , to know that the adhesive didn 't glob up nor did it show through the transparency . This is a thank you card . I only used one stamp , the fleur de lis , by justjohanna . I used my stamp positioner and stamped four of them in the center . Then I stamped four more on a separate piece of paper . I colored all the images with my Prismacolor pencils , and then cut out the four separately stamped images . I adhered them to the image area with pop dots . Paper is from DCWV Glitter Stack . I tied a metal tag that says " Thank You " onto the ribbon with a little safety pin . About 6 months ago , I was contacted by Lindsey of Amersand Arts . She wanted to know if I would like to be a featured how - to artist on the Stampbord website . You bet I would ! I was originally scheduled for some time in 2008 , but the artist for October 2007 couldn 't do it , so would I consider October ? If you know me , you know I love Halloween , so I jumped at the chance to do October . You can see the step - by - step instructions on the Stampbord website in the featured how - to section . You can click on the PDF button to get bigger pictures and instructions for the project . Be sure to check out the past how - to projects . They are awesome ! If you haven 't seen Andi 's cute card , click here . It is so adorable how she made that cute little dog into a wreath . Wow !
|
Happy Halloweener , everyone ! This is my favorite holiday of the YEAR ! ! Isn 't this little guy so cute ? I borrowed him from this website of weiner dog art . I 'm not feeling particularly festive today . I didn 't even dress up like I usually do . Honestly , I 'm having a very hard time with the devastation from these fires . The fires did not burn my house , my property or even anywhere near me , but I am very bothered by what has happened . I just feel unsettled and anxious and sad . I can 't imagine what other people have gone through . Tami was evacuated from her home and by some luck in the universe , her home was still standing when she was allowed back home . I 'm very grateful for that . I can 't really put my finger on what is really bothering me , but something is and I need to get to the crux of it because it is making me nuts . Those scary little trick - or - treaters will have to get candy somewhere else tonight , because I 'm locking the door and turning off the light . I 'm just not in the mood . Tomorrow will be a better day . Oh , yeah , Oct 31 - Nov 2 is Dia de los Muertos . I wish we 'd celebrate that day , too . Since the big Blog Action Day events about global warming and such , I 've been thinking a lot about my part in the whole thing . As one person , I can 't do it all , but I can do my part . If we all did our part , it could be amazing . So I 've committed myself ( no not like to an institution ) to doing a new earth - friendly thing each week . I will post on Mondays and you can comment on the new thing that you 've done to not contribute to pollution , global warming , etc . It can be a simple as walking to the post office , starting to recycle cardboard , cans , etc . You get the idea . So , what did I do today ? Well , when I went to Sprouts to get my teas and veggies , I picked up some of those canvas shopping bags . They were on sale for 99 cents each . I bought 12 of them . These are big green tote bags with the Sprouts logo on them . You take them into the store and you have the bagger put your groceries in them instead of paper or plastic . You can get more groceries into each bag and they are sturdier than paper or plastic , too . So , head out to your local farmers marketplace or local produce store and pick up some canvas bags . Here is a link I found for some of the bags : BAGS . Hey , you could even make your own bags , how about that ? Yeah , so I made this thing . When Julie made us ( haha ) make these Christmas ornaments last weekend , it got me to thinking about making personalized ornaments . This isn 't an ornament . It 's just a thing . I picked up a few of these paper mache heart things at Michael 's . I first painted the whole thing with Mod Podge . I did that because , as Julie explained about the Gesso , if I didn 't put down a base coat first , the paint would just soak up into the thing and get all yucky . I used the matte finish Mod Podge . Then I got out some of my cheapo acrylic paints and painted in the colors I liked . I chose a couple of pinks and painted them all messy - like all over front , sides and back . While that was drying , I picked out the stamps I was going to use . I picked the old ladies stamp by River City Rubber Works and the sentiment by Stampabilities . After the pink paints dried , I painted on some green and some blue . I let that dry just a little , and then I took a damp paper towel and rubbed some of the paint off so the pink would show through . I let that dry . I dipped a dry paintbrush into the apricot paint and lightly tapped it onto the front , sides and back of the thing . Then I inked the old ladies up with black StazOn ink and stamped it on the thing . It didn 't stamp well so I got my StazOn stamp cleaner out and rubbed off the icky image . I knew it wouldn 't bother the acrylic paint because the StazOn cleaner is not water - based . Then I decided to stamp with the StazOn on vellum . I cut out the image and then Mod Podged it on to the heart thing . That worked really well , except I really had to watch for wrinkles and bubbles in the vellum . I had to lift the vellum and do a bit of adjusting . I put lots and lots of Mod Podge on top of the vellum . I stamped the sentiment on striped paper and then cut out each word . I Mod Podged each word onto the thing where I wanted them and the put more Mod Podge over the whole ornament again . I let it dry in front of the fan and then I got out a regular old black sharpie and made dots all around the edges - Hi everyone . Thank you for your concern and attention to the tragedy that has hit southern California . It is really a mess down here . The wildfires have made their mark yet again , but fortunately , only a few lives have been lost . I believe 1 or 2 from San Diego County and maybe the same number in Orange County . So many people have been evacuated and displaced but things seems to be working out . There are lots of people at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego . The Chargers are supposed to play Houston on Sunday , but that may or may not happen . When they thought the stadium would be full of people , they moved the Chargers to Phoenix for practice . They thought , well maybe we can just move the game to the Cardinals ' stadium , but there is a motorcycle event there on Sunday . If the game was in Phoenix , many San Diegans would go because it 's only an hour flight to Phoenix from here . Next thing I heard was that they would play in Dallas . Dallas ? ! Yes . We couldn 't give the Texans the home field advantage because it was OUR home field advantage , so they picked Houston 's rival , Dallas , for the home field . That really sucks . Ok , but NOW I heard on the radio this morning , that since so many of the fire evacuees have been allowed to return home , they may move the rest of them from Qualcomm to other shelters to that we can have the game at home . YIPPEE ! It 's up to Jerry Sanders now to make the decision . Keep your fingers crossed . I need a diversion from the fires . I know I haven 't reported much on the fires in the past few days . Nothing much is happening in our area and I 'm not glued to the television as in the beginning , so I 've nothing really to report . I did see the news last night and saw some of the devastation . It just breaks your heart to see so many homes destroyed . The good thing is , they are just homes . Brick and mortar . No lives were lost . I saw one couple standing outside their home and they said they had lost their home in the Cedar fire of 2003 , too . I hope they rebuild somewhere else now . I don 't think that location is meant to have a house on it . Our Governator has been visiting the area . I 'll bet he visited the Orange County fire area as well . He has been much more proactive with resources for us than Davis did . I won 't go on and on about this . If you live here , you know . I heard Bush was supposed to be here yesterday or today or something . Oh great , a live speech from the President . What speech will he bumble through this time ? I think he 's been in office too long . He 's used up all his words and can 't put two words together that make sense . That 's all for now . I may post later tonight and post some cards I 've made . I 'll leave you with this : do a RAK ( Random Act of Kindness ) today . What would the world be if everyone did a RAK every day ? Wow . Oh , and recycle . Ok , here are some photos I took today after work . The first picture was taken from my back yard . It is looking west as the sun went down . It really was that orange outside . Kind of creepy , huh ? It was smoky and there was a lot of ash in the air . I wanted to show the smoke level over this part of San Marcos . Right at the bottom of this hill are a bunch of apartments and California State University San Marcos . The University ( CSUSM ) has been closed for this week . It 's weird since there wasn 't much traffic on the road when I was and it was even 5 : 30pm - rush hour . The Coronado Hills fire , the one that is now 100 % contained , was up on the hill to the right in this picture . In the next picture , you can almost see the burnt areas near the road . Most of the fire was was up on the mountain . I couldn 't stop to take a picture because the road is so steep and I didn 't want to get in trouble with the Sheriff by being a looky - loo . This picture was taken looking west . I was at the top of the hill on Twin Oaks Valley Road . To the north ( previous picture ) is the City of San Marcos , and this picture is the community of San Elijo Hills , a community of about 3 , 000 homes on the south side of Mt . Whitney . No , not THE Mt . Whitney , the San Marcos Mt . Whitney . : ) Anyhoo , this picture was enhanced . I used the sunset setting on my camera to bring out the colors of the hills and the sky . This sky is so smoky . I love how it makes for beautiful sunsets , but then again , it is smoke . Here is the road heading north on Twin Oaks Valley Road . The two hills that look like a part of a woman 's anatomy ( Did you know it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month ? It was a cheap plug , but I 'll take what I can get . ) is where the Coronado Hills fire was . Parts of San Elijo Hills were evacuated because they were afraid the fire would jump the road and race through the canyon towards La Costa and on into Encinitas through San Elijo Hills . This is another view of the same mountains just to show the smoke coming from the east . Just beyond Coronado Hills to the east , is Harmony Grove . Harmony Grove is a very wooded homes area and the fire was very close when I took the picture . All the residents of Harmony Grove were evacuated . The next picture was taken in Escondido . I wanted to see if I could see the flames from the Witch Creek fire as it moved up Palomar Mountain but all I got was smoke . Palomar Mountain is east of San Marcos . Palomar has been the victim of many fires . It 's just so sad to see it burning again . Tonight the fire is blazing on the mountain . The fire is on the ridge of the mountain and looks like a glowing snake . I can 't resist taking pictures of the sun going down in all this haze . Such pretty colors . The last picture was taken while driving west on the 78 near the 15 . You can see the smoke above and below the yellow haze . That 's all I have for now . I don 't think I will have any pictures of the actual fire . I hope I don 't , anyways . If I get pictures of flames , it will because the Witch Creek fire has gone through Harmony Grove and up Coronado Hills again . I 'm working today , so not much time to take pictures outside . I can see from my window that the whole area is glowing yellow . Not from the fire , but from the sun . Not a sunny glow . The air is thick with smoke and the sun shining makes it glow . There is a heavy ash all over everything . At times you can see it falling from the sky . When I drove in to work this morning , I put a damp washcloth over my mouth and nose to breathe . You can feel it burn when you breathe . The temperature is hot , about 85 , and the humidity is less than 25 % . Wind WNW at 4mph right now but it peaked at about 38mph sometime during the night . The fires have grown and changed directions and even combining with other fires . Total homes evacuated is over 500 , 000 now . That 's half a million HOMES ! Figure at least 2 people per home - that 's over 1 million people having to find shelter or hotel rooms in 2 days . Some evacuation orders have been ordered for the coastal towns of Del Mar , Solana Beach and Encinitas . Those orders are voluntary at this point , meaning people can leave now if they want to , or they can wait until the mandatory order is issued . I heard that there are no more hotel rooms between the Mexican border and the Orange County line . Here 's a link to a google map that shows the fire areas , the evacuation areas and the shelters . If you are unfamiliar with the area , San Marcos is off the 78 , right near the 15 intersection . You 'll have to zoom in on the map to see it more clearly . Zoom in a bit farther and look where the two red exclamation point ( ! ) triangles are near West Valley Parkway . Ok , now look a bit to the left . Do you see Harmony Grove under the left hand " ! " ? Those people are being evacuated right now . A lot of wooded areas there and a lot of horses and country homes . I 'm only speculating , but if the fire goes through Harmony Grove , it will go over the mountains and join back up where the fire started originally on the hills of San Marcos . The one that is 100 % contained . Get it ? The fire is circling around and weaseling its way back over here . There is plenty of water and power in San Marcos at the moment . SDG & E is asking everyone to cut back on any unnecessary electrical use , but that 's about it . We have not been issued any evacuation orders at this time . Things change with the wind , so we are all glued to our television sets . All went well for us last night . I was glued to the television until midnight when the news crews signed off . We had our bags packed and all the kitty paraphernalia gathered and ready to go if we got a phone call to evacuate . Technically , we were in the red zone , the evacuation zone , but the fire was not headed our way , so we stayed . This morning , the skies are gray and smoky . The air is thick with ash . It 's 8am and already in the 70 's . The air is very dry . I came to work this morning . The building is full of families , friends and pets who were evacuated from various areas of the fires . I feel lost without my television and the constant fire updates . I heard on the radio that OES was going to start letting evacuees from the western part of the county to return to their homes . They said they were reluctant to let everyone in the safer areas back home just in case the winds changed the direction of the fire and they had to re - evacuate . Makes sense . Stay safe out there . Watch the news and do what they say . I have our bags packed and will be ready to go if we get a phone call . Fire did not take over the Wild Animal Park . All the animals are safe . They evacuated the endangered animals earlier today . I am so , so happy ! ! ! Sorry I haven 't posted in awhile . I 'm here at home . We were without power for a little while . I was going through withdrawal from the news on t . v . The skies above are fairly clear . Smoky , but not so dark and scary as earlier today . The wind is still blowing like all get out , but no fire near us . The fire is behind the hill . See the pics I took on previous posts . See the hill behind the palm trees ? That 's the hill that was burning this morning , but no it is only burning on the other side in San Elijo Hills . People there have been evacuated in San Elijo Hills for quite some time . The base of the hills of San Elijo run into Rancho Santa Fe Road - which runs from San Marcos to Encinitas . Just west of Rancho Santa Fe Road is La Costa ( Carlsbad ) . My cousin lives there and he got the reverse 911 call to evacuate . I believe the authorities are concered that the fire will cross Rancho Santa Fe Road . Oops , just listening to the t . v . they have lifted the evacuation for San Elijo Hills . Thank goodness . That means the fire on the hill is under control . You never can tell what the winds will do , so we should keep alert . Besides , the world needs more lerts . haha ! As for the Escondido area , they have issued evacuation orders for all of the San Pascual valley , all the way up to the I - 15 . Bear Valley Parkway residents were told to evacuate hours ago . The smoke is terrible out there . I do not know anything about the Wild Animal Park yet . Oh , I had to come back and edit this . They have evacuated parts of Solana Beach . Solana Beach is west of Rancho Santa Fe . The part of Solana Beach that was evacuated is the part that butts up to the San Elijo Lagoon . ( No relation to San Elijo Hills . ) The concern was that the fire would travel from the I - 15 west along the stream bed through Lake Hodges , Rancho Santa Fe and on to Solana Beach via the lagoon . That part of Solana Beach is also accessible via the open spaces as well . I guess you can 't be too careful . No pictures this time . The sky has cleared considerably just south of me . The big problem now is falling ash and the heavy smoke smell . I 'm not going outside for a long time now . The smoke smell triggers my migraines . I 'll keep you posted on evacuations , etc . The inside / outside kitties ( Cheeto and Frankie ) have given up on the fact that I 'm not going to let them out no matter how much they beg . They have , however , hidden themselves somewhere in the house . Gizmo is still my shadow . Gizmo 's tummy must be upset because I 'm finding kitty puke everywhere . Poor thing . Ok , here is a Google Earth map of stuff I 've been talking about . You 'll have to click the map to see the details . I hope this helps you understand what is where . I couldn 't draw on the fire locations on this map . You can go to http : / / www . signonsandiego . com / to see more details and for locations of the fires . The wind is picking up again . The house is shaking from the force of the wind . Still blue sky above me . I got a call from my Tony , who lives in Encinitas , east of the I - 5 . He said he knows that people are getting the 911 calls . These people are told ( via recording from 911 ) that they should get their belongings together . This notice is a 2 hour notice . If they are required to evacuate , they will be called again by the 911 system to go immediately . Tony has not received a call . Yet . So far , over 250 , 000 people have had to evacuate their homes in San Diego county . Where are all these people going ? Some are headed to Las Vegas . Most are headed towards the coast . Can 't go too far north on the I - 5 because there are fires up there , too . The I - 15 is now closed between the 76 and Rainbow . Where I live , there is no access north or south on the I - 15 . Here are some updated photos . You can see the orange hue to everything now . This smoke is to the south of me . I am not in the direct flow of smoke . As you can see from the first photo , my house is under blue sky now . The air is fairly clear , but I still smell the smoke and can feel it burn my eyes when I go outside to take photos . The second picture was taken from the center of the cul - de - sac looking north . Nice and blue that way right now . You never know what will happen once the wind changes . No phone calls to evacuate here yet . I did hear that Rancho Santa Fe is under mandatory evacuation right now . The county is utilizing the reverse - 911 calling , so residents are being notified that way . The reverse - 911 works in the way that they can make many calls all at once to residents in affected areas . I have a place to go if I get a call . My mom lives in Encinitas and I have an emergency bag of our clothing , meds , documents and cat carriers ready in case we need to leave in a hurry . I don 't think that will happen , but I 'm ready if it does . Oh , I just heard that the San Marcos fire ( Coronado Hills ) has died down a bit . That doesn 't really mean too much because the winds are still blowing pretty good . Flare - ups happen all the time . That 's all for now . These first few pictures are from the tv . The first one gives you a good idea of where the fires are . The second pic shows the freway closures . The next few show some tv pics of freeways that are closed and the smoke . It 's horrible . The last pictures show what it looks like from my house . You can compare the pics to the previous post t see how much more the smoke is coming our way . The first pic is from my backyard looking south towards the San Marcos fire . The next pic is my roof looking up towards the sky . The last pic is from my driveway looking south . I live in southern California . We have fires every year . I get scared every year . The hot Santa Ana winds blow east to west for about a week every year . The winds started over this past weekend . It was about 90 outside and the winds were blowing about 35 - 40 mph . The first fire started up in Ramona , in the Witch Creek area . The second fire is in southeastern San Diego near Jamul . Neither of those fires is anywhere near in control . 0 % contained . Now there is a fire burning on the hills in San Marcos . You can see an ember fire starting to burn here in the first picture . I took this picture from my backyard . See all that thick smoke behind the hill there ? That 's a lot of the smoke from the Witch Creek fire . They have evacuated the people on the hill there . There is a big hill behind my house . So far we 're ok , but you never know where those embers will fall . Many of the freeways and roads are closed in this area . So many people have been evacuated and have headed west . They evacuated Ramona last night . That was over 36 , 000 people . I heard that they have evacuated peope from Rancho Bernardo as well . Rancho Bernardo was the place from the Cedar fire in 2003 . Remember that fire ? Thousands of homes lost . I colored these House Mouse images last year when I bought the stamps . I used Prismacolor pencils and gamsol . I don 't often use gamsol , but thought it might be fun to try it . It makes coloring very easy and quick . I always have a hard time figuring out the layout for my cards , so got out the most recent issue of Cards magazine and picked ones I liked and adapted . I 've mentioned this before , but I am terrible with embellisments . I just don 't know how to put them on , how much to put on or even do I use them at all ? This second card is a very unconventional Halloween card . I colored the lobster more red than orange , so I had to choose paper with more reds in it . This paper is from Memory Box . It 's on of the new ones . I can 't remember the name , but you can find it on the Memory Box website . There are lots of new papers , and yes , I have them all . This last card is 5 . 5 " x 5 . 5 " . I don 't make many cards this size because they take extra postage and they don 't fit in my " for sale " box , but I couldn 't resist the paper and the layout . Isn 't this mouse too cute in his cheese costume ? Yeah , I think so , too . I 'm tempted to send my cards to someone who does good embellishing to see what they would do with the card . You interested ? I 'll send them to you . There are two copies of each card . You embellish them , keep one and send me one of each back . Deal ? Leave a comment . I love blue and brown together . I also love polka dots and paisley . I would say this paper was meant for me . I 've had it for quite awhile and decided it was time to cut it up and part with some of it . I also love justjohanna stamps , and this one is one of my top 50 . Yes , 50 . Have you ever tried to make a top 10 of justjohanna stamps ? It 's tough . What a fun card for an anniversary , a birthday or for a " just because " card . Do you sell your cards ? It 's often been a topic of discussion on the message boards I peruse . If you sell them , then how much do you charge ? It seems the average price I sell my cards for is $ 4 , but some go for as much as $ 10 , depending on if there is a lot of coloring or if it is a custom order . My coworkers often tell me I underprice my cards , but I just feel weird charging more than $ 4 or a card . I sell them at work for the convenience . The money I get for the cards I use to help support my habit . This first one is a little different . For the front of the card , I stamped the mini - snowman and the snowflakes onto a piece of transparency with white pigment ink and then embossed it with white embossing powder . The transparency is sandwiched between the two torn pieces of cardstock . I put some cardstock on the inside of the card so the white embossing on the transparency showed up better . This next one I call " Snow is glistening in Aldenville " . Did you know there is a real Aldenville ? It 's in Pennsylvania . It 's pretty close to Honesdale . Both are stamps by justjohanna . Ok , so that was your trivia for the day . I stamped Aldenville on the light blue cardstock and then drew in a line to anchor the image . Then Iused my White Pearl dimension paint to the town and on the sentiment to make it look like snow . I stamped the snowflake trio in white pigment ink on the blue strip . This last card was just fun . As you can see , I stamped and cut out all the images on this card . I drew the banner around the sentiment . I also drew in the border lines around the card . I 'm really liking this doodling thing . I just have to have more confidence in myself to do it more often . It 's fun . I 'm getting caught up with my justjohanna assignments and I 'm also working on some fun stuff . This first card , " Sea of Love " is one I 've been thinking about for quite some time . All the stamps are by justjohanna . For the jars , I stamped the jar stamp with black Staz - On on a clear transparency , cut them out and then used my silver Krylon pen for the jar lid . I colored on the back of the transparency so that the stamped details would show through . The bubbles were colored in with glitter pen . I ran the transparency jars through my Xyron sticker maker . I was surprised , and pleased , to know that the adhesive didn 't glob up nor did it show through the transparency . This is a thank you card . I only used one stamp , the fleur de lis , by justjohanna . I used my stamp positioner and stamped four of them in the center . Then I stamped four more on a separate piece of paper . I colored all the images with my Prismacolor pencils , and then cut out the four separately stamped images . I adhered them to the image area with pop dots . Paper is from DCWV Glitter Stack . I tied a metal tag that says " Thank You " onto the ribbon with a little safety pin . About 6 months ago , I was contacted by Lindsey of Amersand Arts . She wanted to know if I would like to be a featured how - to artist on the Stampbord website . You bet I would ! I was originally scheduled for some time in 2008 , but the artist for October 2007 couldn 't do it , so would I consider October ? If you know me , you know I love Halloween , so I jumped at the chance to do October . You can see the step - by - step instructions on the Stampbord website in the featured how - to section . You can click on the PDF button to get bigger pictures and instructions for the project . Be sure to check out the past how - to projects . They are awesome ! If you haven 't seen Andi 's cute card , click here . It is so adorable how she made that cute little dog into a wreath . Wow !
|
Today is Halloween . My mom had a big devil . She was always worried about him and always resisting him . People that believe in a big devil often spend lots of time talking about him . They are wasting time that could be directed toward our loving heavenly Father . For more on this topic see : http : / / www . jeffbrinkman . com / TH _ ChristianTheol . htmlAnyway , all of this went out the window on Halloween . My mom loved Halloween ! She would put on scary music , turn the lights down and wait for the kids . She had a sign with a witch on it that she put on the front door every year that read , " Welcome kiddies , put all your goodies in the box below . Go quietly and no one will get hurt . " I just want to weigh in on Halloween . It is not the devil 's day . The devil does not get a day . he is a created being . he is not the opposite of God . he can 't be everywhere at the same time any more than Gabriel or Michael , the other archangels . I am not even capitalizing the word he when I refer to him at the beginning of a sentence . We should spend our days loving God , not fighting the devil . Halloween is a great day for kids . Love them . Dress them up . Feed them candy . It makes for great memories . It 's a beautiful day in God 's world , be sure to see the good . A dear friend of mine recently sent me a quote from the book UNFINISHED by Richard Stearns . That book is the follow up to one of my favorite books , The Hole in our Gospel . I asked her how she got connected to the book . . . . I loved the answer . . . she sold her home and the person that moved out left the book there . So she picked it up and read it . Here is the quote . Give a 16 year old a car and their world changes . It totally opens up . Take away the keys from an aging parent , and their world closes in around them . Give a Christian a car and you run the risk of total moral failure . I am beginning to believe that a car is like a truth serum . Give a person a car and who they really are comes out . We all have streaks of selfishness , we all think what we are doing is so very important , and when we are in a car , it is on display for all to see . People plaster their cars with crosses and such and then drive like they are possessed . What if we all made the commitment to go the speed limit . I think that would be the Christian thing to do . What if instead of telling people that we were Christians , we drove like we were Christians ? Christian music playing from the radio and fish on the tailgate are no substitute for love , joy peace , and patience even when we are in a hurry . wrote something that touched me very deeply . He wrote , " I wish I was in Nicaragua with you . Heck , I wish I was anywhere with you . " It made me cry when I read it . It is making me cry now as I write about A friend sent me this quote . . . . . . . . . . . . . I would rather walk through darkness with a friend , then walk in the light alone . Helen Keller Interesting quote when you consider it comes from a blind person . I want to ask her to clarify . . . . . . are you saying that I am ok , content as a blind person because I have friends walking with me ? Certainly friends make the difficult times more bearable and are of the most precious commodities in this life . It 's a beautiful day in God 's world , be sure to see the good . pour the water into my mouth and spew it out . Now the gassy water is on my face too . Oh boy I hope no one lights a match . We love people that make us feel good . I have noticed something about how we interact with others . We tend to love people who make us feel good and lean away from those who don 't . We can take or leave those who give us no vibes , but oh , find someone that makes us feel valued , and we love them . This tells me that we have great power to bless others . When we see people as special and treat them as such , we can help their hearts be full . Life is too short to give off bad vibes . Become a person that is deeply appreciated by others . Do your best to make them feel valued . You will be glad that you did . It 's a beautiful day in God 's world , be sure to see the good . Oh my , where does one begin ? A friend thinks of you often . A friend offers grace . A friend listens . A friend offers advice , sometimes painful advice , but a friend offers advice . A friend loves . A friend laughs at your jokes even when they don 't get them . A friend holds you up . A friend sticks closer than a brother . A friend gives you space when you need it . A friend doesn 't always need to make it about them . A friend joins you in a life mission . A friend can just sit with you in silence . I hope that you have a friend . I hope that you have many friends . No amount of money can replace the value of a friend . If you are short on friends , look for some folks to invest in and invite them to lunch . Start the process of making a new friend . In the beginning God created , and when he was done , he said " it was good . " God created men and women and said , it was good . Somehow over the centuries we have forgotten this . How sad is that . The church has tried to control people for years by telling them that they are bad . But on the contrary , when we remind people of their original state of creation , it frees them to live . You are good . You are created in the image of God . Bad choices , sin and all , you are loved by God . God made you and he loves you and you are good . He wants to spend your life with you . You are loved . It is the first message of the Bible . If I judge you , I am as bad as you are . If you judge me , you are as bad as I am . Scripture is clear - we are not to judge others . We can and should hold our values , but we do not judge or shame others . " But , but , but , but . . . . . . . . . . they are so bad " we think . And the scripture is clear . We are not to judge others . John 8 : 7 - you that are without sin , cast the first stone . . . . . . . . . . . . Mt 7 : 1 - 5 " Do not judge so that you will not be judged . " For in the way you judge , you will be judged ; and by your standard of measure , it will be measured to you . " Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother 's eye , but do not notice the log that is in your own eye ? " Romans 2 : 1 Therefore you have no excuse , everyone of you who passes judgment , for in that which you judge another , you condemn yourself ; for you who judge practice the same things . Romans 14 Now accept the one who is weak in faith , but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions . One person has faith that he may eat all things , but he who is weak eats vegetables only . The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat , and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats , for God has accepted him . James 4 11 - 12 Do not speak against one another , brethren He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother , speaks against the law and judges the law ; but if you judge the law , you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it . There is only one Lawgiver and Judge , the One who is able to save and to destroy ; but who are you who judge your neighbor ? I don 't understand everything that everyone else does . I don 't agree with what everyone else does . I don 't condone everything that everyone else does . But our job is to love others and let God take it from there . Life is too short for our hearts to be filled with hatred for anyone . I know that we are not supposed to pray with vain repetitions , but this did not feel vain . The other night at Celebrate Recovery [ a Monday night worship service at our church for those who are looking to recover from a hang up , a habit or anything . . . . . we all should go right ? ] anyway , I was there and I found myself praying this two word prayer over and over . From the bottom of my heart , like I just wanted to make sure that God was hearing me . My soul was begging for him to hear me . What if you found a two word prayer . What would it be ? And what if you repeated it over and over until you felt like God heard you . . . . . Maybe one of those would be yours . Maybe none , but maybe you have your own . Take a few moments now and ask yourself what is really going on deep in your heart . Boil it down to two words and pray them , over and over until you feel that God has heard you . We give other people too much power . When you give people power over you , they can hurt you . Some people will steal your joy if you let them . So don 't let them . Does your mom have power over you ? If you are 9 years old , yes . But not if you are 39 , unless you give it to her . Does your boss have power over you ? Only if you need the job . Imagine a world where we can submit to authorities , without allowing their rejection of us to cut so deeply . I am ok . You are ok . When we are set aside by those who seem more powerful than we are , we can still choose to see the good . We can accept that we did not get the promotion , did not get the trophy , did not win Star Search , and did not get the nice compliment . We can accept that we drew the short straw and still love life . You don 't diminish Niagara Falls by spitting into it . You are Niagara Falls . I may not agree with everything that you have done , but you will never be turned away . You may have killed someone . You may have 101 terrible problems . You may be in trouble with the law . I may not understand your actions , but my table is open to you . Come . Sit . Have a cup of coffee . Do you remember the story of the great banquet in Luke 14 ? The friends were too busy to attend . One got married , one bought a cow . The master sent the servant to the highways and the byways and invited the poor , the lame , and the outcast . It is a great story of how the kingdom works . Everyone has done something that they think they should be thrown away for . Yet we all need a place where we are welcomed and accepted with no judgment . No matter what you ever do , I will welcome you . One of my favorite movies of all time is Harold and Maude . The musical score is all Cat Stevens songs . One of my favorite songs has always been If you want to sing out , sing out . I have left my family notes about my funeral , and I would like the service to open with that song . It is a movie about living with joy . A bit dark , a bit of odd humor , but a movie about living with joy . The song is a song about living with joy . Since I first saw the movie in the theaters in 1971 , I have always loved the song . Well , the wind finally died down enough so that I could climb up on the roof and see it 's condition up close . And , good news . . . . . . . . . . . . . the roof is in perfect shape . It is amazing , considering the winds that we experienced . There was however , about half of an oak tree on the roof . 10 , 000 lbs of branches , acorns , sticks and leaves - all on the roof . We are very grateful for every thought and every prayer sent this way . And for the record , I don 't know that I want to do another night like last night . Next time we will evacuate . Unless my wife and daughters tell me different . Thank God ! It appears at first look that the roof is completely intact . There are lots and lots of tree limbs down but structurally we appear to be fine . I have heard that pool screen enclosures do not fare well in hurricanes . Ours appears to have made it thru fine . When things die down I will get up on the roof and make a more thorough inspection . So it is 5 : 10 am . We have been up most of the night . The eye of Matthew passed 30 miles east of Vero Beach . The worst is passed now but it is still way too windy to go outside . I left Cape Coral on Wednesday at 10am to go to Vero Beach . My wife and daughters had made the decision that they were going to hold up in the Vero Beach house and ride the storm out . That is one wife , two daughters , one boyfriend , one girlfriend , three cats , a dog and me . Lots of excitement ! We bought a generator , lots of water and stocked up on supplies . We put up the hurricane shutters and hunkered down . By 9pm last night it was getting bad . The worst of the storm hit at 2am . The wind noise is beyond description unless you have been through it . We listened to various items hit the roof and the house . Now the storm is moving off to the north . Winds are still high and it is still raining . In a few hours I will go outside and see what damage there is and post an update . Thank you all for the prayers , calls , texts and emails . I am sorry that I cannot write back . I will post again in a few hours . In Kansas City I recruited a group that I called " The Giving Group . " These were folks that were not offended if I from time to time sent them an email about something that I needed help raising money for . Over the years , they provided scholarships for pastors to go on mission trips , helped with sound system issues , and donated for children 's wing upgrades . I find it odd that Christians should feel funny about being asked to give . But I guess sometimes churches ask too much . But there is a joy in living the generous life . There is a joy in participating in those special needs . Cape Coral First has some issues that at some point we will need to raise some funds to address . If you are interested in being a part of a group that I can explain these things to via email , if you are not offended by an occasional opportunity to go the second mile , please let me know and I will add you to the Cape Coral giving club . I would send an email about a need no more than 4x per year . Everyone is welcome , regardless of the size or ability of a gift . Let me know if you want to be on the team . In the movie The Replacements Keanu Reaves plays a quarterback that had choked in the Sugar Bowl . Because of his failure , he lost the chance to play professional football and his confidence was broken . In this movie , he gets a second chance . When faced with a similar situation as the one he failed at in the Sugar Bowl , Reaves chickens out again . In response to this , his coach , Gene Hackman gets in his face and makes the statement , " Winners always want the ball when the game is on the line . " The first time I heard these words , I stopped in my tracks . I paused the movie . I thought of the many times that I was fearful and wanted to pull back . I thought of the times in softball when my team needed me to get a hit and I was nervous . I thought of all the challenges in church and how easy it is sometimes to curl up into a ball and go and hide . For years I have been saying to myself . Winners always want the ball when the game is on the line . Sometimes in the midst of pain and struggle , you have to get up and get after a thing . You can always quit another time , but not today . The world is changed by those who step up , get in the game and give life their very best . The game may be on the line . Winners want the ball , they want a chance . Step up . Get in the game . You will be glad that you did . On October 3rd 1927 , Paul Parmalee Brinkman Jr . was born . I didn 't know him when he was young , but I learned later than he grew up poor . He used to take the streetcar out to Waldo , which at the time was the end of the universe . He graduated from SW High in Kansas City . He served in the Navy during WW2 , developing pictures of the first atomic bomb . After the war , he attended Drury college , graduating with a degree in mechanical engineering and a young wife named Mary . Dad was a loner . His nickname growing up was " Pooh " like Winnie the Pooh . As a father , he was pretty distant . He worked long hours and I didn 't see him much . But , somehow , he delivered the goods to his son . He taught me how to work . He helped shape my faith . He taught me a myriad of old sayings and wise thoughts about life . I got to know Dad a lot better after mom died in 1995 . We had seven years together after that . From 1995 until he died in 2002 , Dad was a member of the Woods Chapel UMC . He led the first 8 : 30 singing group , and he had a lot of ideas for his son about what makes a good sermon . In February of 2002 I was on the church ski trip with the kids . They were 10 , 12 and 14 . At about 11pm on Saturday night , Cathy called to say that Dad was in the hospital . Heart attack or stroke , he was on life support at Research . Doug H and another young man drove me from Glenwood Springs to Denver . We arrived at the airport at 2am . When the kids woke up , Doug was there in the room to tell them what happened and to take care of them . I will never be able to repay him what he did for my kids that day . I sat in the terminal until 5 : 30 and left on the first flight to KC . Cathy picked me up at the airport . We went to the hospital and said goodbye to Dad . I had lunch with one of my favorite theologians , Brian Flower . He provides me with much food for thought . This hit the lunch table last week and I thought it was worth sharing . . . . . . . We are called to believe and to the suffer for his sake . [ Phil 1 : 29 ] But how much suffering do we actually do ? Not much . Being in mission , living a missional life is an opportunity for us to discomfort ourselves for the sake of Christ . Something to think about . It 's a beautiful day in God 's world , be sure to see the good . Too many people do not sing because they do not have the voice of Frank Sinatra or Peggy Lee . Too many people do not play baseball because they cannot hit like Babe Ruth or field like Frank White . Too many Christians hold back from what they could be because they are not big famous souls like Billy Graham or because the are not Mother Teresa . Dear friends , we as the church will never be what God calls us to be until every single one of us jumps in with both feet . Head over heels , committed to the mission . No holds barred , no excuses , lets just go pursue our potential in Christ . " Use what talents you possess . The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best . " Henry van dykeGod can use you to make a difference in the world . If you are watching from the sidelines , get up and get in the game . That is where the true joy is found . This blog is the occasional ramblings of Jeff Brinkman , a semi - retired United Methodist Pastor . When Jeff cannot post , some of his buds take over . This blog may or may not inspire , may or may not be humorous , but will always be honest . This blog is Jeff 's attempt to remind himself and others that God is greater than anything , and if we just look hard enough , we can see the good in life , and if we slow down and listen , we can hear the birds sing .
|
" Did you pack extra sweats and the rain gear I got you last summer ? " Sarah yelled to Josh , her 13 - year - old . " Toothbrush , four pair of socks , a couple pair of jeans , two pair of sweats , four shirts . Hey , Josh , do you hear me ? " Josh turned back to the TV . Flashes of animation and the whinny , befuddled voice of Bert Simpson droned from the tube . Sarah opened the duffel . Toothbrush , socks , rain gear , shirts , sweats , jeans . Not folded neatly like I would . But it 's all here . Maybe the kid can manage better than I think , Sarah mused to herself . Of course , he has no choice . He doesn 't have the luxury of Mom . Not now . " Josh , load up your fishing gear . We 're canoeing down the Ausable tomorrow . Maybe we 'll catch a sunfish . Maybe even a trout if we go onto the lake . " Josh rolled off the couch to his feet . His blonde fuzzy cowlick evaded the new designer haircut , handiwork of his Dad 's stylist . Josh 's rumpled blue plaid cotton shirt and carefully frayed cargo pants looked too carefully chic to be neglected . No , this is Josh 's favorite outfit , Sarah concluded to herself as she passed him on the way to the front door . " Tie your shoes , Josh . " She hated to hear herself nag . Ever since pre - school she and Josh played a game of hurry up and wait . Sarah did the majority of hurrying and waiting . " Oh , great . That health food crap , I bet . I 'm not eating fake hot dogs on this trip . Tell me you didn 't get those fake dogs . Tofu pups that taste like glue . " Josh grabbed the Pringles and a bag of baby carrots and climbed back into the front seat . Sarah resigned herself to quiet . No more fussing . Not up to it , she thought . Sarah backed down the driveway careful not to run over the neat row of impatiens that Elizabeth planted along the edge . Eric 's new yard looked better than the one she and Eric had shared . Sarah never had time to garden . Eric didn 't care about the yard or any other domestic work . But Elizabeth had a knack for getting things done . Sarah sized up the scene . Two - story Tudor . The right address . Two Volvos . Elizabeth , a volunteer with the Mother 's Support Group , serving school lunches and making costumes for the plays . She has the job I should have , Sarah thought to herself . Sarah tried not to compare , but a picture of her own circumstances seemed an irritating contrast : an apartment , a boring job , an elderly mother to help and a three - day camping trip for a vacation . I 'm holding the short end of the stick , Sarah thought . Josh crunched one carrot then another as Sarah 's Honda Civic slid out of the driveway and out of town . 94 E stretched like a gray Band - Aid past the familiar repetition of semi - rural housing developments , the airport , the outer city with its increasing number of entry ramps , through the outskirts of downtown Detroit , under the overpasses leading to crumbling neighborhoods , houses packed together , wood frames with siding , painted bright colors , aqua and white , chocolate brown and pasty mustard . Not much to look at , Sarah thought . Sarah surrendered to memory . Tightening in her stomach echoed the flow of images . Houston . Post Oak Boulevard . The limo . A gold and black herringbone silk suit . Her portfolio . The contract . A quick spirulina shake for lunch . The afternoon scratching out campaign ideas with Stephan . Sarah could vaguely remember her smile . Her streaked blonde hair gleaming in the sunlight as she checked out her lipstick in her compact . Walking across Warrington Plaza to Dr . Ramirez 's office . In 45 minutes her life as she knew it ended . Dr . Ramirez forced her decision . Was the marriage worth her career ? What about Josh ? Divorce ? Moving ? She ached . Nothing I can do about the past , Sarah thought , trying to coax her thoughts into the present . Sarah looked at Josh . " Okay , pal . Help me get a grip on the road . Shall we attempt a conversation ? " Sarah asked . " How are things at Dad 's ? " " Have you been to the zoo lately ? " Sarah asked remembering her visit there with Josh in the spring . One of the first warm days . Daffodils bloomed along the concrete paths . The air wasn 't too chilly to eat an ice cream cone . Sarah ran out of questions . They passed Detroit and sped on to Port Huron . The wooden houses looked friendlier , Sarah thought . The water of the lake channel and the sentinel rows of trees softened the garish aqua and white , the chocolate brown and pasty mustard . Hanging baskets of geraniums and borders of marigolds marked this as a town where people try to add something to their lives . Sarah broke into a whistle . Josh slipped a Walkman headset over his ears . Sarah 's whistle shifted into a hum . An old Judy Collins song . Lyrics ran through Sarah 's mind . I 've looked at life from both sides now . From up and down and still somehow , it 's life 's illusions I recall … Sarah approached the Blue Water Bridge as the sun began to set . A wavering veil of rose outlined the steel girders making the bridge appear even more massive . Sarah looked at the lake channel on both sides of the highway . Pleasure boats lined the shore of the channel . A single barge moved slowly . Sarah thought of eating a fish dinner . Walleye , lightly breaded , and a baked potato . Maybe a glass of Chardonnay or an Amstel Light . Taking my time . At a restaurant on the other side . Watching the sun go down , pink dissolving into violet , blue - gray into black . Her mind lost all content . A soft breeze caressed the hollow of her cheek . She looked at Josh . He must be hungry too . In a few minutes he would be clamoring to stop at the duty - free store . This was not their first camping vacation . No answer . Turned toward the window , Josh 's head lay still on the headrest . She nudged his shoulder . No response . He was asleep . Sarah gently lifted the headset . She reached over Josh 's lap for the lever that released Josh 's seat into a reclining position . Josh stirred and turned on his side as Sarah eased the seat to horizontal . She looked again at the sunset . For a quick moment , the world seemed smaller and less overwhelming . The sun seemed to snuggle under its water blanket , like Josh , taking a rest . Sarah inched the car forward to the tollbooth on the Canadian side . It occurred to her that she had no passport or birth certificate . She meant to put them in the glove compartment . Not to worry , she thought . The authorities never ask . Josh and Sarah followed the officer to a counter . A female with blonde curly hair wearing the same brown garb smiled at Josh . She seemed friendlier than the other two . " Mr . Hanson , this is Customs in Ontario , Canada . We have a boy here , Josh Hanson . He says he 's on a camping trip with his mother , Sarah Whitney . Is this true ? " " Yes , he 's okay . No , she hasn 't done anything wrong . We 're just checking . The boy was asleep when they crossed the border . We 're just cautious . I hope you understand . " Sarah looked behind her . No officer . She climbed into the car and drove slowly through the toll line , past the duty - free store into Sarnia . Past the lighted median . A wooden sign displayed painted lettering , Welcome to Ontario . Landscaped with a halo of pampas grass , cosmos , lavender and black - eyed daisies , the sign looked inviting . Sarah felt stung . She drove slowly past houses with hanging baskets of geraniums and borders of marigolds . Suspended between the oncoming headlights and traffic signs , rolling forward , moving on , Sarah felt blank . The road behind her disappeared into blackness . Sarah reached again for Josh 's hand . " Yes , strange , " Sarah said . As strange as living apart . As strange as the unlucky turn of events . The bad things that happen suddenly , unexpectedly , devastating to what was before , clouding what might have been with doubt and confusion , submerging hopes and plans beneath the surface , deep into blackness , Sinking in a current of disillusion and disappointment , Sarah choked off her feelings and focused her awareness . This is no time for tears . Time for reassurance , Sarah thought . She squeezed Josh 's hand again . During a non - psychotic break , Alice observed the head doctors tripping . Poor lost souls who had fallen down the rabbit hole , they 'd evidently forgotten the subtle logic of their hearts , so trapped in frantic mind games devoid of reality , and what is worse , they 'd forgotten to check the facts . Alice smiled and sipped a cup of tea with the Cheshire Cat . As usual , the Cheshire Cat smiled in return . Alice scratched her head . Perhaps the Cheshire Cat knew more than she . Smiling might be the only logical response to nonsense . Alice smiled while the head - tripping head doctors tripped , stumbled and fell , now five levels down the rabbit hole . Always curious , Alice peered into the ever - widening space . The Cheshire Cat remained in his chair , sipping his tea , complacent and smiling . But Alice could not resist the temptation to stare and take notes . What ? The Red Queen , now on a rampage , chasing the tripping head doctors with potions and wielding her silver baton like a sword . " Off with your heads , " she shrieked . Alice sighed and looked back at her tea party companion , the Cheshire Cat . The Cat still smiled . Alice sighed . Then suddenly , so abruptly , the Cheshire Cat opened a door he created in thin air . The Mad Hatter entered . The Mad Hatter accepted a cup of tea from the Cheshire Cat and gulped it down , wiping his lips with a brisk brush of his hand , then motioned to Alice to sit down with her companions . Alice sighed . She returned to her chair and smiled like the Cheshire Cat . On the rare occasions when she smiled , my mother Evelyn looked beautiful , like the dahlias she liked so much . Yet her eyes seemed hollow ever since she came home from the hospital . She moped in her room most of the time . That 's when my grandparents Nana Helen and Papa Jim decided to take me to New York City to visit my godmother Rose . Nana and Papa had wetted my appetite . They 'd gone on and on about stunning buildings , hotels , shows , parks , even a zoo . Stunning was one of Nana 's favorite words . I packed my suitcase with my notebook to record the new vocabulary I 've been learning along with some books and an assortment of clothes that Nana had inspected more than once , adding some that would come in handy , she said . " You 'll enjoy the coat , Carol . It 's cool in New York in late October , but we should see some lovely foliage on the drive North . We 'll even pass through Pennsylvania where your mother was born . Why don 't you try on the outfit ? " Gladly I roused myself from under my warm , fluffy Alice in Wonderland comforter . As Nana spread the items on the other canopy bed , I drank in the rich colors of the dress and the hat . Nana selected beautiful things for me . She even taught me how to describe their styles . That 's because she worked part - time for a clothier . Clothier was one of the words I added to my notebook . Nana pronounced this word in a way that sounded smooth . " No , dear . I work occasionally for my friends , the storeowners , so I can buy nice things for less money . Sometimes I feel like a walking advertisement . " I tried on the dress , shoes and hat . Even with crumpled hair , I looked a lot like Nana . And when I slipped on the all - weather coat , I felt almost grown - up or at least like a big girl older than nine . I liked Nana 's elegance - not just the way she looked but also how she talked . According to my grandfather , she had panache , a word I 'd asked him to repeat until I could pronounce it by myself . It is French . Yet , despite the fun of going to a big city , I still didn 't like clothes as much as Nana . They came in handy in New York though . The day we left home , Nana and Papa fussed with the suitcases while I watched , as if what happened were a play . Suddenly Nana stooped to the ground , sliding my red bag to the sidewalk . She opened it and sorted through the contents . " Where 's your scarf ? You need one for your neck and to dress up your coat , " Nana said to me . " Thanks , darling , " she said , opening it quickly to sort through a pile of scarves . " This is the one I 'm looking for . Put it on , Carol . " I marveled at the royal blue scarf and its gold border lined with small red roses . I tossed it around my neck , surprised by its softness and the light whiff of perfume . I 'd never been to a big city , but the preparations made it seem like something special . Papa replaced Nana 's blue bag to fit snugly among other suitcases until the trunk contents looked like the squares of a colorful quilt . Papa was very tidy . It came from being a retired military officer , he told me . The car twisted for hours through mountains feathered with maple trees turning brilliant orange and yellow . The earth looked warm and round , dressed in rich colors . The first night we slept in Pennsylvania at a small countryside motel with a funny musty smell in the room . Nana burned a candle scented with balsam , an oil from fir tree needles that smelled really clean . Being in a new place made me aware of every detail : the green and red plaid curtains reminded me of the kilt Nana had given me for Christmas last year . The slightly worn pine furniture shone like gold next to the window as the sun went down . I slept really well in a small cot next to Nana 's side of the big bed . I woke up early just as Nana stirred . " I 'll make you some hot chocolate , but let 's be quiet until Papa wakes up . We 're not in a hurry today . We 'll reach New York City before dinner . " Nana had a small metal pot that she plugged into the wall on the counter near the bathroom . In no time the water gurgled . Nana poured coca mix into my mug and instant coffee into another one of the motel cups . Papa snored gently while Nana and I slowly sipped our beverages . Steam tickled my nose as I drank the sweet , creamy liquid . With each swallow , my body tingled in anticipation . What other delights awaited me today ? And she did , though I remained happy about the many treats that seemed to lie in store for me . Nana let me have a big bite of her ice cream , which tasted sort of like chocolate , but a little bitter . I liked it . I hadn 't been disappointed so far on this trip . Just before dark we arrived at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City . One of the posh ones , Nana said . The nearby skyscrapers rose like giants , dwarfing the scurrying crowds . I felt squeezed and lost . " There 's a lot to take in , " Nana said . " New York is the biggest city in the United States . It 's a metropolis . Wait until you see the skyline at night . " I knew Nana would explain the word metropolis when I asked her . But I tried to imagine what metropolis meant . A metropolis must be full of tall buildings and whatever goes on in the skyscrapers must be more important than the people in the streets . I wondered if the workers felt like ants . At dinnertime I understood the meaning of skyline . Lights on buildings twinkled like gems as if the whole city were a gigantic piece of jewelry like Nana wore on her coat . At least that 's what the skyline looked like to me from the 44th floor of the Waldorf Astoria . Even a ride up the elevator seemed like a ride in a rocket . An elevator operator asked me if I 'd ever been to the Big Apple . When I wrinkled my eyebrows , he laughed . The next day I met my godmother Rose . Beforehand , Rose had been someone who sent me books and cards every year on my birthday . The books became some of my favorites like Charlotte 's Web and The Little Prince . Rose had befriended Nana when both women were recovering from illness in a sanatorium several years after my mother was born . I 'd wondered what Rose looked like . Nana had told me she was short and slim with beautiful auburn hair . Auburn means sort of red . I liked Rose the minute I saw her . She did not hesitate to give me a big hug . She stood with her arms open , wearing a pretty black and purple - checkered coat , houndstooth pattern , Nana said . Rose smelled as good as Nana when she kissed my check with her brightly colored lips . " Oh , dear Carol , you are a beauty . And , look . I left a big kiss mark on your face . " She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a tissue with which she brushed my face gently . I wondered why someone as pretty and nice as Rose wasn 't married with children . Nana had told me that Rose was an independent woman who lived with her sister and they both liked what they did for a living . Rose is a librarian and her sister Loretta is a teacher , Nana explained . I met Loretta at dinner that night , after Rose took Nana , Papa and me to the Bronx Zoo . I had never seen a spotted hyena , much less a gathering of them . Their stiff gray - brown hair and spots looked rough and prickly . Their faces looked like the faces of dogs , not friendly dogs - hungry dogs on the prowl . The spotted hyenas scared me , but I couldn 't stop looking at them . They seemed very intelligent , but not at all nice . Wild , determined and fast . I stared at one of them a long time then it let out a shrill sound , a horrible laugh that seemed insane . I wanted to shrink away and hide behind my grandfather , but I didn 't . I couldn 't . I don 't know why I was frozen , but I was . And in that frozen moment , I knew what I had to do . I had to stand my ground , outside the cage , and be thankful the screaming hyena was contained behind the rails and I was on the other side . Nana smiled and named the letters . " Sometimes grownups in the Big Apple eat later than you are used to doing at home . You will like the food and the fact that you can look out the window from any place you stand . We 'll eat on the top floor in a giant room with windows that wrap around like a ribbon . " The restaurant was called The Top of the Sixes . White linen tablecloths looked crisp and clean . The faces of the grownups glowed in the light of the table lantern . Loretta looked as pretty as her sister Rose , but I hardly had a chance to speak to her because Nana was catching up with Rose and Loretta . Papa walked me to the Ladies Room , down an alley marked off by pillars with bowls of nuts on top , even almonds and cashews , my favorites . On either side of the row of pillars stood tables and musicians playing slow , smooth music . The Big Apple was full of surprises , but the next one was not so nice . As we walked back through the bar , Papa said he wanted to smoke a cigar . Since the table was in sight , where Nana and her friends were busy talking , he asked me to walk back . I was happy because now I had a chance to grab some nuts . I skipped down the alley , stopping to scoop up two handfuls . The ladies did not see me . " I don 't know . She seems to be sinking into another deep depression . Will and the housekeeper are looking after her . We thought a visit with you might be a nice distraction for Carol and her father agreed . God knows , things are pretty bad , " Nana said . I saw tears slide down her cheeks . But my sudden sadness had nothing to do with my cosmopolitan surroundings . Right now I needed a new vocabulary , not a fancy one that sparkled . I needed bold words that held the stuff that grownups withheld from children , but I needed to know about , no matter how upsetting it was . If I could understand , I 'd feel better . Even if things were not okay , I 'd be okay . I could name what was happening and find a way to live with it . Forget the words that flowed like the water in the hotel fountain . Give me something solid and simple . The truth .
|
The opening match on Raw was everything that is right in wrestling . Kevin Owens and AJ Styles wrestled for twenty minutes . The two built an incredible match that was both logical and compelling . There were multiple highlights , including an outrageous frog splash from Owens . A distraction from Chris Jericho cost Styles the match , but the battle won over a hostile Philly crowd . All seemed right in the world when it appeared , post - match , that there was going to be a triple threat match to determine the number one contender for Owens ' Intercontinental title at WrestleMania . Instead of Owens competing against Sami Zayn , which is a match with built - in history and emotion - and also gives WWE a chance to highlight the first great feud from NXT - we will instead be treated to a spotfest ladder match between Owens , Sami Zayn , Dolph Ziggler the Miz , Sin Cara , Stardust , and Zack Ryder . We watched the same ladder match at last year 's WrestleMania , except with a far stronger cast . Why are half the wrestlers - specifically Sin Cara , Stardust , and Zack Ryder even included ? The buildup to WrestleMania has been one long headache . Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio put together a match on Sunday 's iPPV that was worthy of WrestleMania . Unfortunately , it was instead on a UR Fight iPPV , whose camera angles and overall production value is not anywhere close to the gold standard set by the WWE . The finish was weak , culminating in outside interference from musical act Riff Raff , but there was no way Mysterio was going over cleanly . Jim Ross was phenomenal and carried the broadcast , but Quinton " Rampage " Jackson - who mentioned multiple times that Mysterio was " little , " repeated Ross ' observations and continued his commentary during pinfalls - was not the right fit next to JR ( though he created a legitimate laugh out loud moment when he called Angle a " motherf - - - - - " after hitting Mysterio with a chair ) . Ultimately , the match served as a reminder of how mind - boggling it is that Angle , Mysterio and Ross all won 't be at WrestleMania . • Just so we 're all on the same page , wrestling fans will be forced to watch Roman Reigns win the championship for a third time at WrestleMania and see a singles match between Ryback and Kalisto . Kevin Owens , however , will be thrown into a multi - man cluster for the Intercontinental title . How does that make the slightest amount of sense ? • How did Triple H and Stephanie McMahon not see Reigns walking toward their limousine ? And why wouldn 't they lock the doors or have the driver speed away ? Are details like this discussed in creative meetings , or are viewers supposed to accept every scene and never question the logic ? • The Young Bucks ' Nick Jackson discussed whether he and his brother , Matt , would ever return to TNA : " They called about a year ago , and the conversation lasted one minute . They made us an offer , and we explained that we already had higher offers on the table . They said , ' Let us sharpen our pencils and we 'll call you back . ' They never called back , but if they offered us huge money , we 'd consider it . AJ , Gallows , [ Anderson ] - now they had a huge offer , so maybe TNA has a little more money now . " Keep your eyes peeled for a new feature on the Bucks that is soon to hit SI . com . • Speaking of TNA , Eric Young and Bobby Roode both received their release and finished up with the company this past Saturday . Both were champions , which necessitated title changes at the tapings in Orlando . Unless NXT is interested , which is unlikely , these two are destined to reunite with Jeff Jarrett . When I spoke with Jarrett this past September about adding talent to Global Force Wrestling , he specifically mentioned the pair as two wrestlers he greatly admired : " I consider Bobby Roode one of the greatest wrestlers on the planet , " Jarrett told me , " and Eric Young is very , very talented . " • Looking forward to watching Drew Galloway vs . Jeff Hardy , and overall excited for the Galloway title reign in TNA . Galloway and Roman Reigns share some similarities , as both are 30 years old and roughly the same size , though Galloway is three inches taller at 6 ' 6 " . There will also be a feature story on the new TNA champ next week on SI . com . • For those looking forward to tomorrow 's Smackdown , curb your enthusiasm . I attended last night 's taping at the TD Garden in Boston , and the entire card felt rushed and , outside of Lesnar 's appearance , forgettable . Surprisingly , there was no dark match for the crowd after the filming ended . " I love the WWE , " said the 35 - year - old Gaspard . " It 's my family , but the goal isn 't to have a great product . The goal is to have a controlled product . " What 's going on right now isn 't what made us successful . We were willing to step out of the boundaries and be different . Edge , Christian , Rock , Stone Cold , and Triple H himself - everything those guys did stepped out of bounds . Now , guys are so scared of the heat that they 're not willing to step out of bounds , and we were . " " I love NXT . I see the enthusiasm put into NXT not put into Raw and Smackdown because they assume people will just watch . But fans are starting to leave . As much as I love kid fans , they 're not the ones who push the product . Fans between ten and twenty - seven push the product , and those are the guys who say , ' Hell yeah ! ' They are the ones who push the product more than anyone , and they are the ones who need their intelligence challenged . " " We challenged the system , " said JTG . " One of the biggest rules in WWE is not to look into the camera . But hip hop artists want to show off their grill and look into the camera all the time , so I explained that to Vince . Everyone was saying I couldn 't do it , but Vince said , ' Go ahead . ' " " Backstage politics are a big part of your career , " said JTG . " A lot of talent think it 's all about wrestling and mic skills . Sixty percent of wrestling is how you play the game backstage . " " Sometimes it 's even more than sixty percent if your skills suck , " said Gaspard . " I love John [ Cena ] , I think John 's a really good A - B - C wrestler , but he doesn 't do anything amazing . But John does really good is John has confidence in John Cena , and he plays the game perfectly . He knows when to say things , when not to , and he 's played the game perfectly . I can 't hate him for that - he is a master at this game . " We got fined a bunch of times , even $ 6 , 000 each one time , but we were willing to take the fine . People asked us , ' Why be some a - - hole and get fined instead of playing by the rules ? ' No one wins playing by the rules . They 're put there to see who 'll break them . Cena breaks the rules all the time . They said , ' Cena , you can 't swear . ' So he says , ' Suck these ' and holds up a bag of peanuts . The crowd can say what it wants . " " Elijah Burke introduced us , " said JTG . " I give Shad his props . He was the first person to get me tipsy , he gave me his ID when I wasn 't 21 to get in the club . " " Hold up , " said Gaspard . " I gave him my ID to go to the club , and he had it taken away from him . Then the club closed , I punched the f - - - - - - bouncer , knocked him out , and asked , ' Who the f - - - touched my little brother ? ' Everyone said , ' I 'm so sorry Shad , we didn 't know he was with you . ' And he went back to the club the next night . " " It has to be an amicable agreement between two parties , the WWE and us , " said Gaspard . " Me and Jay are willing . I 've reached out to certain people , and me and Jay reached out respectfully , because we respect the company and we love the company . " We were born and raised to be WWE superstars . We were told , when we were training , you hit your prime at 32 . We understand it all now , but the fact is they 'd rather scout out ten football players , ten soccer players , ten hockey players , torture them , break them , and then try to teach them what they can 't learn . " " Carlos Colon - still in his prime , " noted Gaspard . " Chris Masters - still in his prime . Shelton Benjamin - still in his prime . All of us are still in our prime , but the reason we can 't be on the road right now is because a lot of people wouldn 't be on TV . They wouldn 't be able to hang withus on TV or in the ring . " " We 've had so much fun playing the characters , and it 's just our personalities turned up , " said Gaspard . " We got fined because we were willing to take a risk , but we paid the fine and got the reward of gaining Vince 's respect . After a while , we only had one writer to talk to , which was Ed Koskey , and then we did whatever we wanted to do . We got so much heat for the dress code , too . Our characters wore jeans and a shirt , so that 's what we wore . The agents were all over us backstage because Vince had a meeting and said , ' Everybody does the dress code . ' Then he said we were cool . " " The WWE is where we belong , " said Gaspard . " We 're nothing without our fans , and Jay is my brother for life . If we can come back to entertain wrestling fans , we 'd do it in a minute . " " I would imagine Gawker felt pretty good going into this case , " explained McCann . " Hogan is such a public figure who has discussed his personal indiscretions , but it looks like Gawker misjudged the role of the video . Seeing a video of Hulk Hogan having sex is very different than Hulk Hogan talking about being unfaithful - so there is something materially different about the video itself . " " Hogan 's lawyers made a really good argument that this was an invasion of privacy , " said McCann . " Because it 's a sexual encounter in a bedroom , there is an expectation of privacy , so a broadcast of an intimate activity in a bedroom goes beyond the scope of newsworthy . Hogan 's lawyers did a good job distinguishing that from the various ways celebrities ' lives are fair game for the media . " Juries in a lot of states have very wide latitude in terms of calculating numbers , and they don 't have to defend them , " said McCann . " Their math is their own . Hogan was very persuasive as a witness talking about the emotional harm this affair has had on him , that he 's been humiliated , that he 's become associated with this video , and he 's able to show that his career has in some way suffered . It 's just not entirely clear how getting to $ 115 million is hard to grasp , especially that Hogan has been so public about his life . It 's hard to see how the jury decided that , in spite of his truly public life , he has suffered truly massive damages that far exceed what is normally found in the case . The worst case scenario is wrongful death , and that is when someone dies from another person 's negligence , award damages normally between three and three and a half million , so the jury was obviously outraged . " " If the decision is upheld , and the damages awarded are upheld - and those are two big if 's - we 'll have to look at what Gawker is worth , ' said McCann . " I don 't know if Gawker is worth [ $ 140 million ] . If the company is forced to pay , I would imagine they would be forced to declare bankruptcy . In that event , there would be a bankruptcy case that determines which debtors are paid . So Hulk Hogan may not get paid first in the bankruptcy proceedings . It 's hard to speculate , but it 's reasonable to assume that Hogan will get anywhere near [ $ 140 ] million because of the fact Gawker likely doesn 't have the financial wherewithal to pay a civil judgment on that magnitude , coupled with the fact Gawker may have outstanding obligations to others that could be ordered to be paid first . " Ring of Honor 's Matt Taven is in the midst of a sea of uncertainty . The former IWGP and Ring of Honor tag team champion is set to become a free agent after his contract with ROH expires in June , but he is still rehabbing after he was diagnosed with a torn ACL , ruptured lateral meniscus , and a torn medial meniscus from The Kingdom 's last match in ROH this past December . On Saturday , Taven announced the opening of his new wrestling school with Mike Bennett , as well as sat down with Sports Illustrated to discuss his injury . Matt Taven : Mike Bennett and I , who were the tag team champs in Ring of Honor , had a big tag match with War Machine in Philly at Final Battle . I did a dive to the outside in the first few moments of the match , and I flew over Hanson and hit the ground . You 'd have thought I would have got injured there , but I hit the ground and was absolutely fine . Right after that , we went for a spike pile driver on the floor . Out of all the things I 've done in the wrestling , this is so much tamer than a lot of my other moves . I don 't know if I caught my heel on the pad or my foot on the concrete floor , but once when my feet hit the ground , I immediately knew something was wrong . I tried to walk it off , and Mike asked if I was all right . A million thoughts were going through my head , but we continued going . Then there was a part in the match where we did our springboard elbow , where I walked up the ropes . I watched it back with surgeon , and he couldn 't believe it - I literally had no ACL . By that point , it had been blown to bits . Somehow I 'm standing on my left leg on the top rope . I thought , ' If I can do this , I 'm fine , ' and that 's when I partially tore one of my meniscus and completely tore the other one . But we continued with the match , and I went for a spin kick . I was standing on the leg with no ACL , and the turning of my leg is what made my meniscus rupture and shoot into the back of my leg . I 've never seen this part , and I refuse to watch . I remember the way it felt , and it felt like my leg was falling into itself . That 's when I knew it was a lot worse than I originally thought . Matt Taven : Continuing that match to the point where I ruptured my meniscus is the reason for the second surgery , and it 's going to cost me a couple more months of my career . I couldn 't walk for the first six weeks after the surgery because the meniscus was sutured back together and I needed to give it time to heal . It was pretty brutal , and I 'll never take walking for granted again . I was unbelievably angry and , of course , it happened in Philly . There was this one fan heckling me while I was lying in pain , screaming , " Botchamania ! Botchamania ! " All I could think of was the pain and if I 'd ever wrestle again , but all I could hear was his voice . I wanted nothing more to pop right up and tell this guy to go f - - - himself . But once people realized I was seriously hurt , and they had to walk me out , the Philly crowd gave me a standing ovation . I thought , ' Did I just get accepted ? I wish it wasn 't like this . ' But that crowd took me away from my sadness , anger , and fear , and they reminded me why I put my life on the line and do this . My head was just spinning , but it was a very uplifting moment . Matt Taven : Realistically , I 'm a couple months away from wrestling . I had just got back from the gym when I got my MRI results , and the doctor told me that I should sit down - then proceeded to tell me that I wouldn 't wrestle for another year - and - a - half . I 've gone to three doctors , and I found the best surgeon in Boston and it looks more like nine months . My injury is a little bit different , but I 'm hoping to be back this fall . Matt Taven : In the meantime , out of a sheer love for professional wrestling , I 've been going to all of the Ring of Honor shows and as many independent shows as I can . Mike Bennett and I are also opening a wrestling school , Kingdom Training at the XWA Event Center , in West Warwick , Rhode Island . The address and the open house will be announced within the next couple of weeks , and the facility is going to be fantastic . We 'll have two rings , locker rooms , and a promo area . Mike and I have met so many people along the way through the independents , Ring of Honor , and New Japan , so we 're going to have a lot of seminars , too . We 're going to offer a lot of different voices and kinds of training , so students will receive a variety of different views on their work . Matt Taven : People don 't know this , but when Mike started at 15 , his first independent name was the " Miracle " Mike Bennett . The only thing Mike 's ever needed was an opportunity , and he and Maria are making the most of it . I text him all the time when the show airs , and he 's loving it , so I couldn 't be happier for him . We had thought about bringing The Kingdom to TNA , so who knows about the future . " I went back and watched some old Mid - South stuff , including a match where he squashed a young Shawn Michaels , " said Mega Ran . " I got so much insight into his character . But the best moments for me are the major feuds - Savage and the snake bite , Steamboat and the DDT outside the ring , and ripping off Rick Rude 's tights . " " After I watched The Resurrection of Jake the Snake two or three times , then I watched a bunch of his older matches and that 's what got me in the mood to write this song . I have friends and family members who hit rock bottom just like Jake , and when I watched that , I saw them . Unfortunately some of them didn 't get out of the hole they were in , and most don 't , so thank goodness Jake had a strong support system around him . " " We both were huge fans , but instead of us writing two separate verses about how great Jake was , I wanted to be different , " said Mega Ran . " My verse is about the dark side of the business - the side that is shown in the ' Resurrection ' movie . His verse is about the classic Jake Roberts - his smooth style , deliberate demeanor , and technical skill in the ring . " As we learn from the movie , as well as our knowledge of wrestling these days , these guys are often two very different people , and it can be hard to differentiate one from the other sometimes . So I wanted to contrast the two sides of a pro wrestler by showing the highest of highs , and lowest of lows . It is probably the deepest track on the ' Mat Mania ' album for that reason . " " So simple , yet so devastating , " said Mega Ran . " I loved how much they sold it , in ring and out , and how much they talked about it as if it were a secret lethal weapon . It could end a match at any time . It still irks me to this day when people kick out of a DDT . When we think Jake , even before Damien , we think about the DDT . " " The majority of the XWA was built in the last four years , so it took a long time to catch fire , " said Antonucci . " Our turning point was going toward the indie scene . We love bringing in the stars - like Rhino and Cryme Tyme - but then it 's our younger guys ' job to go out there and win that crowd over . T . K . O ' Ryan was in a prominent spot this [ past Saturday ] with Rhino , and Travis Gordon is terrific and only been wrestling for a year . " This is my first really huge opportunity and everyone has really taken me into the Ring of Honor family , " said Hendrix . " The House of Truth is literally the place to be , and it 's because Jay Lethal makes it that way . I 'm leaning something new from Jay and Truth Martini every day . Watching old matches of his have helped teach me how to evolve as a character , and Jay 's impersonations of Randy Savage and Ric Flair are spot on . He really keeps things fun . " " I had just turned 23 , and I didn 't know my head from my toes , " admitted Hendrix . " But I 'm a completely different character in Ring of Honor , and I 'm showing the world how versatile I can be . Ring of Honor has embraced that and allowed me to run with it . " " Sherri Martel is such a huge influence . She was revolutionary , but versatile enough to reinvent herself managing so many different wrestlers like Shawn Michaels , Ted DiBiase and Randy Savage . I want to be as versatile as her to survive and thrive in this business . " " I want it all , " said Hendrix . " I don 't just want to be in Women of Honor , I want to be in Ring of Honor . I want to be in the ring , on television , on commentary , I want everything . A lot of people say that they want to be the best , but I 'm willing to prove that again and again until I 'm where I want to be . " " Bette Davis is a huge influence , " said Hendrix . " She always believed that scripts should be larger than life , acting should be larger than life , and life should be larger than . That 's my mentality in pro wrestling . She always said , ' Attempt the impossible to improve your work , ' and that 's exactly what I 'm trying to do . " By signing up , I agree to the Sports Illustrated Terms of Use . I acknowledge that I have read the Privacy Policy . For further information , please contact customer service at 1 - 888 - 806 - 4833 or write to Sports Illustrated Customer Service | Attention : Consumer Affairs | 3000 University Center Drive Tampa , FL 33612 - 6408 .
|
Now a certain man was ill , Lazarus of Bethany , the village of Mary and her sister Martha . Mary was the one who anointed the Lord with perfume and wiped his feet with her hair ; her brother Lazarus was ill . So the sisters sent a message to Jesus , " Lord , he whom you love is ill . " But when Jesus heard it , he said , " This illness does not lead to death ; rather it is for God 's glory , so that the Son of God may be glorified through it . " Accordingly , though Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus , after having heard that Lazarus was ill , he stayed two days longer in the place where he was . Then after this he said to the disciples , " Let us go to Judea again . " The disciples said to him , " Rabbi , the Jews were just now trying to stone you , and are you going there again ? " Jesus answered , " Are there not twelve hours of daylight ? Those who walk during the day do not stumble , because they see the light of this world . But those who walk at night stumble , because the light is not in them . " After saying this , he told them , " Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep , but I am going there to awaken him . " The disciples said to him , " Lord , if he has fallen asleep , he will be all right . " Jesus , however , had been speaking about his death , but they thought that he was referring merely to sleep . Then Jesus told them plainly , " Lazarus is dead . For your sake I am glad I was not there , so that you may believe . But let us go to him . " Thomas , who was called the Twin , said to his fellow disciples , " Let us also go , that we may die with him . " When Jesus arrived , he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days . Now Bethany was near Jerusalem , some two miles away , and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them about their brother . When Martha heard that Jesus was coming , she went and met him , while Mary stayed at home . Martha said to Jesus , " Lord , if you had been here , my brother would not have died . But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him . " Jesus said to her , " Your brother will rise again . " Martha said to him , " I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day . " Jesus said to her , " I am the resurrection and the life . Those who believe in me , even though they die , will live , and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die . Do you believe this ? " She said to him , " Yes , Lord , I believe that you are the Messiah , the Son of God , the one coming into the world . " When she had said this , she went back and called her sister Mary , and told her privately , " The Teacher is here and is calling for you . " And when she heard it , she got up quickly and went to him . Now Jesus had not yet come to the village , but was still at the place where Martha had met him . The Jews who were with her in the house , consoling her , saw Mary get up quickly and go out . They followed her because they thought that she was going to the tomb to weep there . When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him , she knelt at his feet and said to him , " Lord , if you had been here , my brother would not have died . " When Jesus saw her weeping , and the Jews who came with her also weeping , he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved . He said , " Where have you laid him ? " They said to him , " Lord , come and see . " Jesus began to weep . So the Jews said , " See how he loved him ! " But some of them said , " Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying ? " Then Jesus , again greatly disturbed , came to the tomb . It was a cave , and a stone was lying against it . Jesus said , " Take away the stone . " Martha , the sister of the dead man , said to him , " Lord , already there is a stench because he has been dead four days . " Jesus said to her , " Did I not tell you that if you believed , you would see the glory of God ? " So they took away the stone . And Jesus looked upward and said , " Father , I thank you for having heard me . I knew that you always hear me , but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing here , so that they may believe that you sent me . " When he had said this , he cried with a loud voice , " Lazarus , come out ! " The dead man came out , his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth , and his face wrapped in a cloth . Jesus said to them , " Unbind him , and let him go . " On the death of someone we love , our agony is so intense that we feel we are dying as well . We yearn to die , to rejoin the loved one so as not to be forced to continue a life without meaning or purpose . When my son Danny died two years after my husband Roger , I believed my life had ended . I remember sitting , empty , numb , by the Medina River convinced I couldn 't go on , recalling Emily Dickinson 's description of grief as " the hour of lead . " I read without comprehension Jesus 's words of comfort to Martha after Lazarus 's death : " He who believes in me will live , even though he dies . " They were words without meaning . Eventually I found solace in Deuteronomy , reading that God would not listen to Balaam but " turned the curse into a blessing for you , because the LORD your God loves you " ( Dt . 23 : 5 ) . I realized then that my friends at church and school had provided a concrete means for my husband and son to continue to live . Since 2001 and 2003 , we 've awarded two scholarships annually to outstanding San Antonio College students majoring in the liberal arts or planning to teach . ( San Antonio College is where I teach , where Roger taught and where Danny was a writing tutor in the summers . ) Thus , the curse of Roger 's and Danny 's deaths has become a blessing to more than thirty students so far and will continue to bless additional students each year . For me , it 's been a way to rediscover meaning in life through God 's grace , so that once again I am able to follow Moses ' exhortation to " Choose life " ( Dt . 30 : 19 ) . As Jesus walked along , he saw a man blind from birth . His disciples asked him , " Rabbi , who sinned , this man or his parents , that he was born blind ? " Jesus answered , " Neither this man nor his parents sinned ; he was born blind so that God 's works might be revealed in him . We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day ; night is coming when no one can work . As long as I am in the world , I am the light of the world . " When he had said this , he spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva and spread the mud on the man 's eyes , saying to him , " Go , wash in the pool of Siloam " ( which means Sent ) . Then he went and washed and came back able to see . The neighbors and those who had seen him before as a beggar began to ask , " Is this not the man who used to sit and beg ? " Some were saying , " It is he . " Others were saying , " No , but it is someone like him . " He kept saying , " I am the man . " But they kept asking him , " Then how were your eyes opened ? " He answered , " The man called Jesus made mud , spread it on my eyes , and said to me , ' Go to Siloam and wash . ' Then I went and washed and received my sight . " They said to him , " Where is he ? " He said , " I do not know . " They brought to the Pharisees the man who had formerly been blind . Now it was a sabbath day when Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes . Then the Pharisees also began to ask him how he had received his sight . He said to them , " He put mud on my eyes . Then I washed , and now I see . " Some of the Pharisees said , " This man is not from God , for he does not observe the sabbath . " But others said , " How can a man who is a sinner perform such signs ? " And they were divided . So they said again to the blind man , " What do you say about him ? It was your eyes he opened . " He said , " He is a prophet . " The Jews did not believe that he had been blind and had received his sight until they called the parents of the man who had received his sight and asked them , " Is this your son , who you say was born blind ? How then does he now see ? " His parents answered , " We know that this is our son , and that he was born blind ; but we do not know how it is that now he sees , nor do we know who opened his eyes . Ask him ; he is of age . He will speak for himself . " His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews ; for the Jews had already agreed that anyone who confessed Jesus to be the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue . Therefore his parents said , " He is of age ; ask him . " So for the second time they called the man who had been blind , and they said to him , " Give glory to God ! We know that this man is a sinner . " He answered , " I do not know whether he is a sinner . One thing I do know , that though I was blind , now I see . " They said to him , " What did he do to you ? How did he open your eyes ? " He answered them , " I have told you already , and you would not listen . Why do you want to hear it again ? Do you also want to become his disciples ? " Then they reviled him , saying , " You are his disciple , but we are disciples of Moses . We know that God has spoken to Moses , but as for this man , we do not know where he comes from . " The man answered , " Here is an astonishing thing ! You do not know where he comes from , and yet he opened my eyes . We know that God does not listen to sinners , but he does listen to one who worships him and obeys his will . Never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a person born blind . If this man were not from God , he could do nothing . " They answered him , " You were born entirely in sins , and are you trying to teach us ? " And they drove him out . Jesus heard that they had driven him out , and when he found him , he said , " Do you believe in the Son of Man ? " He answered , " And who is he , sir ? Tell me , so that I may believe in him . " Jesus said to him , " You have seen him , and the one speaking with you is he . " He said , " Lord , I believe . " And he worshiped him . Jesus said , " I came into this world for judgment so that those who do not see may see , and those who do see may become blind . " Some of the Pharisees near him heard this and said to him , " Surely we are not blind , are we ? " Jesus said to them , " If you were blind , you would not have sin . But now that you say , ' We see , ' your sin remains . " In John 9 : 1 - 41 Christ heals a blind man with a bit of spit and an incantation about revealing God 's works through a sufferer . The parable 's theme - " Healing : Regaining Sight " - perhaps speaks to spiritual blindness as well as to physical blindness . Can we see past the obvious " flaws " in other human beings to the godliness and beauty they often project , despite great obstacles ? I struggle with a skeptical , if not outright cynical , outlook about our destructive human behavior . One source of comfort is the love and acceptance I feel from the Body of Christ at St . George . I am grateful for the general lack of negative gossip , backbiting , snarky comments and not - so - hidden agendas we might hold as individuals . Many in our congregation have dealt with great personal hardships and tragedies and have emerged with a purity of spirit , observable as a radiance from within , which touches and energizes us all . Probably anyone at St . George is holier than I am , but volunteering at Christian Assistance Ministry is another uplifting influence in my life ( aside from my being married to a truly spiritual man who is also my best friend and confessor . ) To experience the warmth and graciousness of people who face one daunting day after another with little hope of lasting relief has truly opened my eyes to the saving power of forgiveness and acceptance . To share a smile , grasp a hand , exchange a hug or a prayer with a person who has stood in line for an hour to get a sandwich and a piece of fruit is a privilege . That person blesses me more than I can ever bless him or her . Jesus said , " I am the Light of the world . " Where do we find the Light ? It will never be extinguished . In some situations , the Light seems hard to find . See beyond the apparent darkness , with your true sight - the eyes of your heart . How do we reflect the Light of Christ ? Our reflection can bring new sight to those who have been blind , shrouded in darkness . The beauty is that as we reflect the Light , we become transformed by it , until we are the Light . Become the Light , and pierce through the shrouds . The definition of faith is believing in things unseen , but evidence for our faith is all around . The man in our story was healed and this led him to believe in Christ . However , what of those who are shown , yet refuse to accept ? They ignore what is in their sight , just as the Pharisees refused to believe . Perhaps the refusal to accept is rooted in fear of persecution or judgement . The man who had been given sight was cast out - judged - for something which others knew nothing of . His parents feared speaking that which those in power did not want to hear . Who or what holds power over our sight ? Can we challenge preconceived notions accepted by society and dare to see differently ? When we trust in the only One who has the right to judge , we truly see for the first time . Sight is more than our physical eyes . What is it that we have been blind to ? Is now the time to be restored to wholeness ? Are we ready to see that which we could not see ? Pray that He open our eyes in His perfect timing . And when that moment comes , allow your new sight to be used for his glory . Jesus came to a Samaritan city called Sychar , near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph . Jacob 's well was there , and Jesus , tired out by his journey , was sitting by the well . It was about noon . A Samaritan woman came to draw water , and Jesus said to her , " Give me a drink . " ( His disciples had gone to the city to buy food . ) The Samaritan woman said to him , " How is it that you , a Jew , ask a drink of me , a woman of Samaria ? " ( Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans . ) Jesus answered her , " If you knew the gift of God , and who it is that is saying to you , ' Give me a drink , ' you would have asked him , and he would have given you living water . " The woman said to him , " Sir , you have no bucket , and the well is deep . Where do you get that living water ? Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob , who gave us the well , and with his sons and his flocks drank from it ? " Jesus said to her , " Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again , but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty . The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life . " The woman said to him , " Sir , give me this water , so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water . " Jesus said to her , " Go , call your husband , and come back . " The woman answered him , " I have no husband . " Jesus said to her , " You are right in saying , ' I have no husband ' ; for you have had five husbands , and the one you have now is not your husband . What you have said is true ! " The woman said to him , " Sir , I see that you are a prophet . Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain , but you say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem . " Jesus said to her , " Woman , believe me , the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem . You worship what you do not know ; we worship what we know , for salvation is from the Jews . But the hour is coming , and is now here , when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth , for the Father seeks such as these to worship him . God is spirit , and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth . " The woman said to him , " I know that Messiah is coming " ( who is called Christ ) . " When he comes , he will proclaim all things to us . " Jesus said to her , " I am he , the one who is speaking to you . " Just then his disciples came . They were astonished that he was speaking with a woman , but no one said , " What do you want ? " or , " Why are you speaking with her ? " Then the woman left her water jar and went back to the city . She said to the people , " Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done ! He cannot be the Messiah , can he ? " They left the city and were on their way to him . Meanwhile the disciples were urging him , " Rabbi , eat something . " But he said to them , " I have food to eat that you do not know about . " So the disciples said to one another , " Surely no one has brought him something to eat ? " Jesus said to them , " My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to complete his work . Do you not say , ' Four months more , then comes the harvest ' ? But I tell you , look around you , and see how the fields are ripe for harvesting . The reaper is already receiving wages and is gathering fruit for eternal life , so that sower and reaper may rejoice together . For here the saying holds true , ' One sows and another reaps . ' I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor . Others have labored , and you have entered into their labor . " Many Samaritans from that city believed in him because of the woman 's testimony , " He told me everything I have ever done . " So when the Samaritans came to him , they asked him to stay with them ; and he stayed there two days . And many more believed because of his word . They said to the woman , " It is no longer because of what you said that we believe , for we have heard for ourselves , and we know that this is truly the Savior of the world . " Even during my teen years , friends would rib me about my " brown stamp " tendency , my habit of recording every slight , real or imagined , on an ever - growing scoresheet in my brain . This ledger expanded steadily during college , young adulthood and marriage , but it was my divorce in 1985 that triggered the real growth spurt . I would devote hour upon hour to tabulating my grievances . Then , nine years ago , my ex suffered a neurological trauma that destroyed his short - term memory . He declined with each passing week , month , year . It was like watching the lights go out , one by one , in what once had been a bright and shining city . A few days before he died , in June of 2013 , I kept vigil with him in the hospice where he had been placed . He slept in his narrow bed , oblivious . I puttered with the bedclothes , filled and refilled his water carafe , arranged and rearranged the potted plants on his windowsill . Suddenly he opened his eyes and looked straight at me . I looked back , transfixed . He gazed at me urgently , almost pleading , as if to say , " What does our divorce matter now ? Let it go . " In that freeze - framed moment , I could see my ledger dissolving before me , its many pages crumbling to dust . I left the center and returned to my baking car , where I unlocked the door , slumped over the steering wheel and wept for 20 minutes . I finally began the drive home , but everything seemed somehow different . I felt younger , lighter , better looking , and almost eerily at peace for the first time in decades . My ex was right : what did all the wrongs on both sides matter now ? In forgiving him , I could forgive myself . An alternative Jacob Marley , by some miracle I had shaken off my chains . I never want to wear them again . In this gospel reading , Jesus is talking to a Samaritan woman at the well . It further states that the people who saw them talking , " were surprised that he was speaking to a woman . " The reason is that at that time that men were not supposed to talk to women in public , but Jesus was . In addition , he knew all about her past and told her many things that she had done . The woman was surprised . We , however , should not be surprised that Jesus also knows about her past , just as he knows all about ours . Even though he knows about our past , he is still willing to be with us . In her excitement , the woman left her water jar at the well and went back to the city to tell everyone about the Messiah . She wanted them to know about Jesus . The same should be our excitement . We should be excited to tell everyone about Jesus and his love for us . As a Jew that became a Christian , I am more than willing to tell everyone of the man I found . I want everyone to know about Jesus . I want everyone to know about the loving God that blessed my life . Many people have heard that story from me . As Christians , we are called to be witnesses of Jesus love . The word " witness " scares many Christians . But witnessing is just like in the courtroom . It is telling the facts . We are not called to convince anyone of anything . That is the job of the Holy Spirit . We are just to give the facts . All that we have to do is tell others about the man that met us where we are . Just as Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well ; he has met us where we were . There was a Pharisee named Nicodemus , a leader of the Jews . He came to Jesus by night and said to him , " Rabbi , we know that you are a teacher who has come from God ; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God . " Jesus answered him , " Very truly , I tell you , no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above . " Nicodemus said to him , " How can anyone be born after having grown old ? Can one enter a second time into the mother 's womb and be born ? " Jesus answered , " Very truly , I tell you , no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit . What is born of the flesh is flesh , and what is born of the Spirit is spirit . Do not be astonished that I said to you , ' You must be born from above . ' The wind blows where it chooses , and you hear the sound of it , but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes . So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit . " Nicodemus said to him , " How can these things be ? " Jesus answered him , " Are you a teacher of Israel , and yet you do not understand these things ? " Very truly , I tell you , we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen ; yet you do not receive our testimony . If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe , how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things ? No one has ascended into heaven except the one who descended from heaven , the Son of Man . And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness , so must the Son of Man be lifted up , that whoever believes in him may have eternal life . The first scripture I ever memorized is John 3 : 16 , part of the passage about which I write . In the faith tradition in which I was raised , memorizing scripture was a big part of our formation : in Sunday School , Training Union ( Sunday night services ) , Wednesday night services , and Girls ' Auxiliary ( a girls ' study and service group ) . To this day I can hear a portion of scripture , and I 'll play out the rest of the verse in my mind in King James style . " For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life . " This verse was the basis of just about every sermon I ever heard while growing up . We didn 't have a lectionary like the Episcopal Church that laid out verses throughout the Bible to be read throughout the year . Instead the minister preached on whatever passage he felt called to use . Because there was great urgency for each person to make a public profession of his or her acceptance of Christ as Saviour , most of the sermons came from the salvation texts in the New Testament , especially verses like John 3 : 16 . I probably made my public profession of Christ as my savior when I was about ten years old and was baptized by being fully immersed under water in the baptistry . Now you would think that I would have felt a relief , a lightness for being forgiven of all my sins and being eternally saved . However , what I felt was fear and guilt . How could I live up to my promise ? It 's one thing to say you accept this gift ; it is another to feel worthy of it . Much later in my adult life , I began attending an Episcopal group in Saudi Arabia where we lived at the time , and I thought , " When does the guilt start ? When do I start getting shamed ? When do I start thinking I 'm unworthy ? " To my infinite surprise and delight , those negatives never came . I felt uplifted and positive when I listened to the message of God presented as joy and not guilt . As peace and not fear . As grace and not worthlessness . Yes , I was hearing the same scripture , but I was hearing a different tone . That lightness I had missed on my initial salvation experience had finally come . At last I understood God 's gracious gift as it was intended . That 's when I moved from darkness to light . - Pam Piedfort Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil . He fasted forty days and forty nights , and afterwards he was famished . The tempter came and said to him , " If you are the Son of God , command these stones to become loaves of bread . " But he answered , " It is written , Reflection : Jesus suffered temptation . Fasting forty days and nights has left him hungry and weak . The devil moves in with temptations that hit at the physical , mental and soul levels . And underlying all are the words that lie at the heart of all temptations - " if you are the Son of God . " Every human being experiences moments of deep spiritual hunger . We all know what it is like to be physically or spiritually weak . What Jesus experiences in a barren place is known to each of us who have had spiritually dry times . What saves Jesus - and what can save us - is to hear the echoes of a single word : " Beloved . " For indeed that is the word his Father spoke to Jesus and about Jesus . " Beloved " is not just a state , " Beloved " is a unit of measure . " Beloved " means that Jesus and we , who hear that we are beloved at our baptism , are in the very depths of the Father 's Heart . The grace of the One who calls us " Beloved " is what gives each one of us the power to overcome the temptations of this life , to wait upon the goodness of God and to entrust our lives to Almighty God now and in the age to come . On Monday , February 6 , the Boomers and Bloomers visited the Warrior and Family Support Center at Joint Base San Antonio - Ft . Sam Houston . The Facility is located on a 3 - acre property at Ft . Sam and is housed in a large and spacious 12 , 500 sq . ft . building . The current facility was constructed about 10 years ago ; completely financed through donations , and today serves as the " gold standard " for other communities near military medical facilities . The WFSC provides coordinated services to patients , next of kin and extended family mem - bers of service members , with focus primarily on Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom Warriors . The facility provides a friendly , comfortable environment for everything from watching a movie on a large - screen TV , playing video games , checking email , making a phone call , or just grabbing a cup of coffee . A large well - appointed kitchen also provides a venue for those with culinary inclinations . The trip was highlighted by a recovering PTSD patient who addressed all of us as we were leaving with an emotional testimony about his stay at the Center . The recovering soldier told us his story of depression , despair and suicidal thoughts to recovery and a positive outlook toward the future . Absolutely inspirational - and a wonderful testament to the caring work of the Warrior and Family Support Center . What did you put on your wish list for Christmas ? Did you ask for a walker because your family couldn 't afford the device that would allow you to walk around your home ? Did you ask for coats because no one in your family had one as winter approached ? Did you ask for professional clothing because you had nothing to wear for upcoming job interviews ? Probably not . I suspect wish lists for St . George families included such things as the latest popular toys , stylish clothing , and updated technology . Most of us are fortunate enough to afford the necessities of life , but did you imagine the items above were on the wish lists of families in our own neighborhood , families whose children attend Larkspur Elementary ? After Julabeth Carden had bought gifts for all the individual family members , the Daughters met on a Sunday after church to wrap all the gifts . What a joyous occasion it was as we got into the spirit of giving and listened to Julabeth tell us the amazing stories of these families . She was fortunate enough to accompany a Larkspur administrator to deliver the bounty and see many faces light up with joy . The Annual Parish Meeting will be held on Sunday , January 29th at 9 : 30 AM . Tacos , juice and coffee will be served . Childcare will be available . For more information , click here . Next » Called To Serve St . George believes in serving others . It is , in fact , one of our three Core Values . There are numerous opportunites to Serve in Worship , Serve at St . George or Serve in the Community .
|
By Greg Newkirk on 10 / 03 / 2015 @ nuekerk In June 2012 , I was contacted by a frightened man who claimed that a group of small , three - toed creatures were emerging from a mine shaft and terrorizing his rural Kentucky home . After sending us photographic evidence of the creatures and asking us to investigate the case , he eventually fled his property . The appearance of the creatures bore a striking resemblance to a well - documented case from 1955 , during which a farmhouse in Hopkinsville , Kentucky was besieged by " goblins " from outer space in an encounter that went down as being one of the most credible , well - documented cases of extraterrestrial contact . While I 've regularly discussed the evidence and new information with other researchers as it 's come in , this will be the first official update to the 2012 case of the Kentucky Goblins . Why now ? Later this month I 'm finally setting off to find the site of the incident , as well as the sites of two other similar cases hundreds of miles from one another . But before I go , I need your help . Hello , my name is [ David ] . I received your contact information through a mutual acquaintance who assures me that you are well equipped to investigate peculiar problems . Furthermore , I believe you may have interest in these events beyond any compensation that I am prepared to deliver in order to have these issues sorted . For the past 6 months I have been living in a rural home located on the border of West Virginia and Kentucky where my family is nightly assaulted by creatures that I have come to believe are of an extraterrestrial origin . These beings appear to be the size and stature of a small child , devoid of any facial features save for large , oily eyes and lipless mouths . They frighten my children by peering through their bedroom windows , chirping at one another . They actively attempt to enter my home in the middle of the night . Last month they took my dog . The police refuse to provide any further assistance , attributing the problems to wild animals and forwarding my complaints to the state game commission . I believe they are coming from an abandoned mine located on the edge of my property . Though I 'm armed , I 'm afraid that I 'm far too frightened to enter the mine by my lonesome , and cannot convince any sympathetic friends to accompany me , though I cannot blame them . I am convinced that the only answer is to collapse the mine . I believe this is where we can be mutually beneficial to one another . If you are prepared to assist me in this matter , I can offer you permission to record and document these events under the condition of anonymity . I can guarantee you evidence of these creatures which I assure you are not " wild animals " . Thank you for the prompt response . I do not blame you for being skeptical of my story . I appreciate you keeping an open mind about my situation and I am more than happy to provide you with as much information as I am able . I was given your contact information through a man by the name of Terry Wriste [ Editors Note : I 've left this name untouched due to it 's relevance and the fact that I don 't believe it to be a real person - we 'll come back to this ] . When these disturbances first began occurring , I was only inclined to confide in a personal friend who I knew had fringe interests . He offered to share my concerns with a man that had dealt with somewhat similar experiences in previous years . I accepted his offer . Within a week I was informed that this gentleman had long since retired from pursuits of this kind but was willing to provide me with contacts who may be willing to help . This is how I came to contact you . I do not have any answer to " why " other than a referral and recommendation from a gentleman I do not know personally . I was under the impression that you would answer that question . I am located in Pike County , just outside the town of [ redacted ] , Kentucky . [ redacted ] is located roughly 30 to 60 minutes from the borders of Virginia and West Virginia respectively . Most of Pike County is made up of small towns and rural communities ; it is not uncommon to go days without seeing my closest neighbors . I moved to this area for the peace and quiet . I have received neither . I have lived in this area for just under seven months and in that time the majority of the harassment has occurred within the past three . I did not become aware of any strangeness until early December , although that is only when I began to keep a record of these events . At first it was merely strange tracks in the snow around my home . I had initially imagined that they were from some kind of animal , though it closely resembled a human footprint minus the heel . At that time I was under the impression that it was simply a single creature . It wasn 't until the weeks later that I began to suspect that I was dealing with a number of what I thought were individuals " hazing " me upon my arrival to the area . At this point I was incapable of keeping my dog outdoors overnight . Any attempt to leave her leashed would result in her barking herself hoarse until she was allowed back indoors . In the weeks leading up to this particular evening I had awoken to find my shed doors open on several occasions , many of my children 's toys missing or moved , and my yard in general disarray . I had already given a report to the police , who were making it increasingly clear that they were not interested in my case barring psychical harm or large scale theft . The second week of January I am having breakfast with my family when my five year old daughter begins talking about the " kids without hair " . When my wife inquired about these kids , she informed us that she had spent the previous night watching them play in the yard . As you can imagine , this was of some concern . I asked my daughter what these kids looked like , she told me that they " were bald like grandpa and weren 't wearing any clothes " . The very same day I found the wreath that hangs inside our rear porch stuffed into our mailbox . I purchased and installed motion activated floodlights the following day and for a time , the problems ceased . It wasn 't until the end of February that our daughter informed us that the " bald kids " had returned . I was awoken to the sound to my daughter screaming and rushed to her bedroom only to meet her halfway down the hall . When my wife and I were finally able to calm her down enough to speak , she told us that the kids were trying to peer into her window but they couldn 't reach , and instead , had taken to tapping on it . She hasn 't slept in her own bedroom since . It was that morning that I phoned the police for the second the time , and they responded by finally sending a trooper to our residence . I informed him of the regular mischief , how I was now unable to let my dog outdoors after dusk , and of the " bald kids " . When we found the ground disturbed just under my daughter 's bedroom window the officer informed me , very matter - of - factly , that we were dealing with an animal and I would be better off contacting the game commission than waste their resources any further . Almost every day for the following week , I would find some evidence that something or someone had been on my property the previous night . Smudges on the windows were not uncommon , stones from the walkway dragged to the other side of the lawn , and I had found tears in the screen door . On Wednesday the 7th of March I finally witnessed the " kids without hair " for myself . The dog woke me up around 1 : 30 AM , scratching at the back door and whimpering to be let out . I noticed that the motion floodlight was on , and went to the kitchen window to check that the shed doors were still closed when I realized that I could see the shadow of an individual cast across my lawn . From the angle I was positioned at the window I could not actually see the source of the shadow or the floodlights . The dog was pacing circles around the back door and I could hear someone rifling through a box on the porch . Filled with more anger than common sense , the only reaction I could muster was to bang loudly on the window and yell , at which point I heard the screen door on the porch swing open and slam against the house . I heard what I can only describe as " chirping " at this point . It sounded much like a skunk , if more guttural . I then realized that there were more than two people on my property , and the shadow , which had been reacting as if it didn 't know which way to run , was quickly joined by another . For a moment I watched as the shadows chirped at one another when I noticed a figure out of the corner of my eye . Standing in the flower bed just to the bottom left of my window was a small , humanoid figure , with sickly pale skin , completely hairless , standing roughly 4 ′ . It was looking in the direction of the shadows , and had clearly come from around the left side of the house opposite the porch and had not noticed me as far as I could tell . It 's face was devoid of features , save for large round eyes , very reminiscent in shape and color of a bird 's eye . It had no nose to speak of , and only a small slit for a mouth . It didn 't appear to move it 's mouth as it chirped , sounding more as if the noises originated from it 's throat . It was most certainly not a " wild animal " and even more certainly not a child . I was too terrified to move , and watched as the creature hopped to the others , and together they scrambled into the woods on the right side of my property . It was clear that there were at least five in the group . I have not mentioned this particular incident to my wife , and the only other person who I 've spoken to about these creatures are yourself and the close friend who introduced me to our mutual friend Mr . Wriste . I would prefer to keep things that way , and to approach this problem as discreetly as possible . Since that evening , my dog has gone missing from the porch , yet to return , and I can only imagine that his disappearance has to do with these creatures . I 've gone looking for him during daylight hours , only to find many of my missing belongings scattered at the entrance to an abandoned mine shaft at the far edge of my property . I don 't dare go inside . My friend has convinced me that my experience is similar to that of other " visitation " experiences , providing me with material and references that back up his claims . I am aware of the outlandish nature of what I have told you , but I am afraid that I have no other explanation for what I have seen , at least at this time . I can see no other option than to seal the entrance to the mine . I cannot achieve this on my own , and I am too frightened to try . I don 't dare share this information with others for fear of ruining my career and the reputation of my family . I am prepared to compensate your travel expenses and offer you unrestricted access with whatever recording equipment that you desire but only on the condition of complete anonymity . Beyond that , I have no other desire than to be rid of this problem . I had no idea who this " mutual friend " was , and neither did any of my old investigating partners . A bit of googling provides only one source for the name Terry R . Wriste : a pseudonym used by an ex - military occultist interviewed in two rather obscure books printed in the mid - nineties . Titled The Secret Cipher of the Ufonauts and The Secret Rituals of the Men In Black , these particular books are about as fringe as you can get when it comes to ufology , with instructions on contacting " ultraterrestrials " via occult rituals supposedly deciphered by Aleister Crowley himself . Just before the index of each book , author Allen Greenfield conducts an interview with Terry , who willingly admits that his name is not real . In these interviews , Wriste speaks of a guerrilla group of Vietnam veterans formed in the early 70 's whose directives included the infiltration and destruction of underground alien bases in and around the southern USA . After explaining how the team formed and where many of these cave entrances were located , he goes on to describe the botched mission that caused him to retire from kicking space alien ass . " … we were in a kind of cavern , only , I 'd say , artificially hollowed out and illuminated by a greenish glow , defuse ; not from a single , identifiable source . Anyhow , the whole area resembled ( ufologist Dick ) Shaver 's less exotic subterranean story descriptions , and , in more recent terms , some of the modern alien base stories . We were confronted by these small , grayish beings - humanoid only in the technical sense - and one of our guys said " Dero ! " and started shooting . He had an M - 1 rifle , if I recall . One shot , and [ the little gray being ] was illuminated in blue , and just gone . Then there was a sound , and I felt my own gun , an M - 16 , get unbearably hot . I dropped it , turned to run , and was confronted by two of these little gray - skinned guys with a net . Whatever had convinced me my rifle was hot had apparently not focused on my pistol , a vintage Luger , and one of the little net - holders received the last surprise of its life . It kind of exploded , and the other one dropped the net and ran , up the slope , with me suddenly in pursuit . When we got beyond the lighted area , though , it was just gone . I heard gun fire and explosions behind me , and that god - awful hum , and I continued , pistol in hand , looking around wildly , to go back the way I came . Only three of us ever made it back to the surface . One of them died a year or so later , of leukemia , I think . He was only about 24 - 25 , so maybe there 's a connection . " My apologies for the time it has taken me to reply to your previous email . The situation at my home had become unbearable and we chose to stay with my wife 's family out of state until an appropriate solution can be reached . I am at my wits end . This afternoon my brother - in - law and I traveled back to the house for the first time in over a month , as I needed to check on the security of my property and gather some belongings . The house seems relatively untouched , leading me to believe that the creatures ' motives were driven by the presence of my family . As you requested , I brought a camera back to the property for the purpose of photographic evidence . While my home was free of tampering , I was able to find a trail of prints that match the size and shape of those previously left by the creatures on my property . The prints lead into the woods behind my home , following a stream that runs near the mine . My brother - in - law , an avid sportsman , can not identify the tracks despite his skepticism . Perhaps you know of someone better suited to identify these prints . The creatures came out the woods late last evening . I have enclosed photographs taken to the best of my ability given the situation . I have also enclosed photographs of the creature 's footprints alongside a measuring stick . My brother - in - law is not as skeptical as he was when we arrived and we will be leaving before dark this evening . I look forward to hearing back from you . The first thing noted about David 's story were the striking similarities to a famous case from 1955 . The key events were all the same : a rural farmhouse sieged by several small creatures with similar features , a frightened family that fled in the night , and the belief that these " goblins " were extraterrestrial . Hell , it even happened in Kentucky , but we 'll get to that in a bit . The real attention - grabbing pieces of the new Kentucky Goblins case were the photographs David had provided . It isn 't hard to see that the footprints are strange . But were they strange because they were fake ? Or were they strange because they were from a previously undiscovered creature ? I posted the clearer of the two images on Week in Weird and asked for the help of readers in identifying them . You guys didn 't disappoint . Theories ranged anywhere from wild hog tracks , bear tracks , three - toed humans ( and Sasquatches ) to name a few , though my favorite was the reader who suggested it was a man on stilts with monster feet stuck on the end . Another reader sent the photo to the Kentucky Fish and Wildlife Department , who couldn 't identify the print but wouldn 't declare it fake either . While I hadn 't yet received an exact address from David , the team , which we half - jokingly nicknamed the Alien Cave Base Task Force , gathered together , pulled up some satellite imagery of David 's town , and set out to pinpoint where his house might be . A quick search of government records showed dozens of abandoned mines within a 10 - mile radius of the town , and the maps showed a handful of streams that flowed through a number of properties . The details fit , even if we couldn 't pinpoint a single home . The fact that he mentioned the police in his emails meant that there must be a record of the call . The town was small enough to lack its own police station , so we called the nearest state police department instead . After a few back and forth transfers , we were told that while they could confirm that they had received and investigated a case very much like this one , they couldn 't give us any details . This message , though , had an attachment . The file was an image of what looked like an old piece of paper with a string of sixteen scribbled numbers on it . The writing was in pencil , and it all looked old . Also present was a thick black " 31 " , the characters SLUf or 5LUf , and what appears to be Kα5 . In other words , complete gibberish . As I had done with the rest of our evidence , I shared the update on Facebook with the same people who had helped us on David 's case . It was pointed out that the odd structure of the messages and their references to " black ink " were similar to the mysterious letters that the late John Keel received from the " International Bankers " in the 60s . This group would often send cryptic , poorly - worded " warnings " for Keel to cease his investigations into UFO cases . But what about the numbers ? The sequence had to be a secret code , so we all set to work deciphering the riddle . Letters were matched to numbers , morse code taps , and everything in between . For a time , we thought that the numbers might have been a Visa card number , but alas , there was no stash of cash waiting for us . That 's when Robyn pointed out that the numbers could very well be GPS coordinates . I split the sequence straight down the middle and plugged them into Google Earth . When the spinning globe zoomed into its target , I swallowed hard and immediately deleted the post . Around the time that we started investigating the return of the Kentucky Goblins , we were knee - deep in pre - production for a documentary web series . As part of the project , we set out to get ourselves abducted by aliens . I realize how that sounds , but those who 've seen the raw footage at one of my presentations can attest that it was a successful , and downright terrifying , experiment . That , though , is a story for another time . During my research in preparation for experiment , I needed to find a good place to actually get abducted by aliens . It had to be a location with a history of regular UFO sightings coupled with more than a few alien abductions . Brown Mountain , North Carolina checked all the boxes , and it was relatively close to the route we 'd already plotted for our other shoot dates . Since before white guys ever showed up on the continent , the Native Americans told stories of the mountain 's mysterious lights . When the skies were clear , they 'd watch as glowing orbs rose out of the mountain and danced through the treetops . The Native Americans believed that the lights were the souls of revered warriors that lived in mountain ; even the earliest white settlers attributed the sightings to phantoms haunting the forest . That all changed after the 1947 Roswell incident , and it wasn 't long before the mysterious wisps became associated with unidentified flying objects rather than ghosts . Today , people are still as mystified by the lights as ever . On any given night , you can hike to Wiseman 's View and find diverse groups of people waiting for the UFOs to appear , some of them recounting the time the lights hovered just above them or the strange " government men " who would sometimes appear and question them about their experiences . The craziest tale , though , emerged in 1961 from a local furniture salesman who claimed that a race of tiny , extraterrestrial creatures made their home in the mountain . After following the mysterious Brown Mountain lights through the forest one night , Lael claimed to have stumbled onto a camouflaged entrance into the side of the mountain . When he entered the opening , he was met by creatures from another planet . His family and friends noted that sometimes Lael would disappear for weeks at a time as he explored the intricate maze inside the mountain , and in 1965 he wrote a rare book filled with bizarre details related to his discovery . But he didn 't just return from the alien cave base with an unbelievable tale . He returned with the body of one of these creatures . For a time , Lael kept the body preserved in a glass case which he stored in the back room of his Brown Mountain Rock Shop . The tiny mummy had a length of about three feet , lacked any hair , and possessed long , thin extremities . When Ralph Lael died , his shop was mysteriously bulldozed to the ground and the " alien mummy " disappeared . As we hiked into the forest , Micah laid out the vision that predicted natural pillars pointing to the sky on the side of Brown Mountain , well off the beaten path . Below these stone pillars , the psychic said , sits the entrance to a cave . To the casual explorer , the cave looks like any other , but deep inside it would hold a secret passage that would lead deep into the mountain and if followed , eventually open up into a facility that housed extraterrestrial technology . So there were were , five people trekking through the North Carolina wilderness in search of a secret alien cave base predicted by a psychic . Why ? So that we might possibly film an alien abduction . The absurdity wasn 't lost on us , and as we stopped to catch our breath after one of our crew nearly tumbled down a treacherous cliff , we shared a good laugh about what we were doing . Then Micah pointed out the stone pillars in the distance , and the chuckling stopped . We followed the faint trail into the cave opening , but were abruptly met with an obstacle . A massive , smooth stone slab was blocking our path . It was clear that the giant slab wasn 't part of the mountain itself , and looked almost as if it had been placed there . Through the small gaps between the giant stone and the cave wall , we could see that the opening continued into the mountain , but try as we might , we could neither budge the massive slab nor squeeze through a gap . If this was the secret entrance to an alien cave base , we couldn 't find the lever . Trust me , we looked . As I sat in my office , staring at the pin on Google Earth , I began to slowly process what I was seeing . The scribbled numbers were definitely GPS coordinates , and they were sending an intentional message . You see , these coordinates didn 't just lead to North Carolina , they led to Brown Mountain . In fact , they appeared to lead to the very same cave entrance we 'd visited five months earlier . Terry was a friend of mine for many years . By the same token , I haven 't heard from him since the middle 1990s . " Terry " was a pseudonym he came up with which he no longer uses , AFAIK . I advise far more caution due to cave ins , mine gases etc . Such locations are for real experts , and there are safer ways to make contact . I hope your friend stayed out of the mine . Ky has had " little men " stuff since at least the 1950s . The best approach is one of detachment . If theft is involved , lock up good , but one should cultivate not being afraid - fear intensifies their " power " - indifference dis - empowers them . See my book SECRET CIPHER OF THE UFONAUTS , " Law of the Battle of Conquest " chapter . Just stay out of mines and caves . Dangerous - on - site investigation is best confined to the household being allegedly victimized . Treat it like an apparition case or a poltergeist case - the overlap between such cases is greater than most conventional ufologists usually think . They are in fact differing perceptions of the same thing , IMHO . [ Wriste ] is much younger than me - I 'd guess he 's pushing 50 . But he isn 't a " man of mystery " per se . UFOs were an occasional side interest to him when I knew him . I sat him down for three interviews in the early 1990s - two have been published and relate to UFOlogy . The other , from our common political radical days , which , imo , where his hear is , and was of no interest to UFOlogists and a bit hot to handle as political rhetoric . I do know his " street name " : but , like everybody I knew in that era , we all had noms de guerre , and our code of honor was never to associate our ' real ' names with our nom de guerre , which I have continued to honor , though most of us have long since ceased to be street activists . On one of my visits [ to Brown Mountain ] - frankly I don 't remember which one - this nicely dressed local guy ( supposedly ) came to my motel room for no apparent reason other than to ' warn ' me that Lael was ' a local moonshiner ' . At the time it seemed very normal if a bit unexpected . He identified himself , but his name disappeared from my memory . It was probably my poking around in a rural area that brought him to me , to uphold local pride or whatever - but who knows ? Maybe he was a " man in black " - a thought that didn 't strike me until years later . He knew where I was , what I was there for and wanted to in some fashion discredit the local contactee . The primary phenomenon - the Brown Mountain Lights - is real , whatever that may mean . On the evening of August 21 , 1955 , residents of a rural farmhouse near Hopkinsville , Kentucky were terrorized by a group of small creatures unlike anything the world had seen before . The farmhouse residents , the Sutton family and their out - of - town guests , described the beings as standing around three feet tall , hairless , and having long , thin limbs that appeared almost in a state of atrophy . Their " skin " appeared to be a shiny , grey color , and their large eyes glowed in the dark . Their most distinguishable feature , though , were their large " ears " . The small humanoids moved as though they were " wading through water " , and on a few occasions , appeared to defy gravity altogether . The creatures came out the nearby forest and began peering into their windows or appearing in their doorways , sending their children into hysterics . Shotguns and hunting rifles seemingly had little effect on the goblins , which only rattled like " tin cans " before fleeing into the surrounding woods . Once the siege had come to an apparent end , the family raced to their cars and went straight to the local police station to plea for help . Noting how visibly shaken the family was , the sheriff and twenty officers accompanied the family back to the home , where they themselves witnessed strange lights , sounds , and signs of a gun battle , though the goblins were never seen again . In all , eleven people were involved in the siege on the farmhouse , with nearly two dozen police officers responding to the scene , confirming a gun battle and a number of strange anomalies . Of those eleven people , eight stood by the story for the rest of their lives . The three remaining witnesses , now elderly , refuse to speak about that night . After three years of slowly , occasionally piecing together the ever - stranger clues in the return of the Kentucky Goblins , I was sent a book titled Alien Legacy via my friend and colleague , Jeff Waldridge . It was an account of the original Hopkinsville Goblins case that came straight from the horse 's mouth . The author was Geraldine Sutton - Stith , daughter of Lucky Sutton , one of the two men who actually fired on the creatures in 1955 . After Lucky passed away in 1995 , Geraldine had taken it upon herself to carry on the story of what happened to her family that night , clearing up pop - culture misconceptions and providing often - overlooked details about the case . Alien Legacy was the result . On September 30 , I finally got Geraldine on the phone to discuss the parallels between her family 's case and the 2012 case in the hopes that it might rattle some things loose . It worked . While we both thought the similarities between the cases were certainly chilling , it was the odd differences between the encounters that struck us as as particularly intriguing . The most obvious difference between the 1955 and 2012 cases were in the description of the creatures themselves . Both descriptions included a size of 3 - 4 feet in height , hairless grey skin , and a featureless face . In 1955 , though , the beings had eyes that appeared to glow in the dark , and their most recognizable feature ( one that went on to inspire the design of the titular Gremlins in the 80 's films ) were their large pointy " ears " . David 's description lacked the ears and had " oily black " eyes . " Humor me , " I said , " but what if the creatures ' ears weren 't actually ears at all ? What if they were part of a helmet ? In fact , what if the creatures were in some kind of a suit ? It would make sense of the glowing eyes and the tin - can sound when Lucky and Billy Ray shot at them . Heck , that might even account for the strange movement . A hopping motion isn 't so much different from wading through water … " " People who live there see all kinds of strange things - creatures , lights - they even talk about feeling the mountain ' humming ' sometimes , " she told me . " People go missing , never to be seen again up there . It 's called Black Mountain , but they used to call it Lynch Mountain . " " Mammoth Cave ! It 's smack - dab in the middle of Kentucky and it 's the largest cave system in the entire world , " I blurted . " They 've mapped nearly 400 miles of underground caverns and barely scratched the surface . Do you remember if there were any old caves or mines near the old farmhouse ? " On August 21 , 1955 , a UFO crash lands near Kelly and Hopkinsville , Kentucky . Dazed and confused from the incident , the occupants of the craft approach a the Sutton 's lonely farmhouse . When the family sees the creatures , they panic , firing their weapons and driving the " goblins " back into the forest . With the military retrieving the wreckage of their craft , the creatures seek refuge in the nearby cave , never to be seen again . In early 2012 , David contacts the local police to report the strange creatures terrorizing his home and frightening his children . The police shrug off his story , but through the department , word reaches someone with a vested interest in the latest appearance of the goblins . eventually this man meets David , introduces himself as Terry Wriste and suggests that David contact us . In June 2012 , David emails us and pleads for help . Over the next several weeks , David photographs the creatures and flees his home . We exchange exactly four emails before he goes silent . If you have anything - no matter how " crazy " it might sound - that you can add to the timeline we 've pieced together , we want to hear it . Have you or someone you know seen something similar to the descriptions of the Kentucky Goblins in your hometown ? Do the sightings coincide with nearby caves , mines , or mountains with an abundance of strange activity ? Have you found any footprints resembling the ones discovered in the 2012 Goblins appearance ? Any and every bit of information can help bring this case to a satisfying conclusion . Share this information with your local monster hunters , cryptozoologists , and paranormal investigators . Send it to your favorite paranormal radio shows , blogs , and message boards . Post it on social media , bring it up at dinner , and ask your weird uncle . That dude has got to know something . We 're setting off on an initial stakeout in just a few weeks . I realize that with all the talk about Men In Black and the nefarious undertones of the communications we 've received makes announcing our investigation plans a bit of a risk , but the possibility of going into this adventure with as much information as possible makes it a risk worth taking . So again , if you 've got information , leave it in the comments or email me privately at [ email protected ] . Our investigation into the Return of the Kentucky Goblins got a mention on Rhett & Link 's Good Mythical Morning . They discuss how " goblins are better than no goblins " and pitch the series Goblin Hunters to A & E . It sounds more like a Destination America show , but what do i know ? Steve LewisShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI had a Goblin encounter . But the creature I saw bears little resemblance to the creatures described here . It happened in the county of Somerset , England and at the head of a place known as … wait for it … Goblin Coombe , which is very close to Bristol Airport . It happened back in 1973 on a late night journey through small country lanes in my Morris Minor with my girlfriend at the time . We were on a very narrow track called Cooks Bridal Path and had just passed the entrance to the coombe where the track became a road and turned hard left because … Read more » Vote Up1Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoWeek In WeirdShare On TwitterShare On GoogleOH GOD DON ' T LEAVE US HANGING ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoColin MacphersonShare On TwitterShare On GoogleSteve when you notice the light at first does it change in brightness I 've seen similar lights to this in Glasgow but what drew my attention was that they were at first like stars moving till I took a picture when they came up in my phone the pictures hadn 't came out with the brightness but it changed colour to pastel blues to pinks but at the same time as I looking through the camera I had to keep my eye on the objects as I said were moving but still looked stars in brightness but on camera they looked … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoSteve LewisShare On TwitterShare On GoogleHi Colin . I have good peripheral vision and first noticed them , for there were originally two lights , out of the corner of my eye . Their brightness seemed constant to me but may not appear so in the clip except for a slight shimmering , but that may have been due to light refraction through the rain . The camera was resting on a gatepost , all the movement is the light itself . It appeared to be about 150 yards away and perhaps 2 ft in diameter . It appeared much brighter to the naked eye . It could of course have been the old ' swamp … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoColin MacphersonShare On TwitterShare On GoogleTo be honest I thought I was going off my head lol its not everyone you can talk to about it but my pictures though poor quality done the trick I could talk about it and have something to back me up I think there 's a few more people around my area looking out of windows at night now lol cheers for your reply Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoSteve LewisShare On TwitterShare On GoogleYou 're welcome . Of course it 's always shocking at first when we see things that are out of the ordinary and destroys our normal world view . We always risk the piss taking of our peers if we dare speak of what we know for a fact we saw . But people have closed minds and most would be terrified if they actually saw it themselves . But how many actually look up ? Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoglaivedaceShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI know I 'm late to the party here but this story kinda sounds similar to something in my great - grandparent 's and grandma 's journals from the 1929 - 1932 . I 'm actually attempting to digitize great - grandma , great - grandpa , and grandma 's journals so that recipes and family memories of the era don 't disappear . So imagine my surprise while I 'm transcribing them and they describe " faerie folk " messing about the farm . The entries are dated June 21st 1929 - April 7th 1932 , so significantly earlier to the Kelly - Hopkinsville account . In addition the geographic area is significantly distant . Grandma grew up in North Dakota . One that really sticks out as … Read more » Vote Up1Vote Down Reply1 year 4 months agoMichael EdwardsShare On TwitterShare On GoogleHow fascinating ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 4 months agoThe Guy You Love From TVShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI 'm so pumped up for this ! Been waiting forever for an update . Be careful guys , and good luck . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoRick FitzharrisShare On TwitterShare On GoogleHave you been compared to John Keel yet ? Because after reading this that 's all that I can think . I 'm expecting this whole investigation to be turned into a Hollywood film . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoRuthShare On TwitterShare On GoogleSeriously ? Be careful guys , too many years of reading this kind of stuff and watching X - Files makes me really leery of things ! Can 't wait to see how this turns out . Make sure someone lets the readers of this site know if anything happens , I 'd really hate to be left in the dark now ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoJeffShare On TwitterShare On GoogleHoly shit ! ! ! be careful guys ! ! Been waiting on news about this for three years this is fucking nuts . You shoukld periscope that shit ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoDylanShare On TwitterShare On GoogleA friend of mine has seen one of these creatures . We live in Halifax N . S . , Canada My friend lives about ten minutes out of the city . Years ago as a kid he would sneak into the junk yard just beyond a stretch of woods past his trailer park . One evening as he climbed over the bank which ran along the length of the junk yard , he watched a small pale creature scurry up to the top of a large junk pile . My friend started to make his way down the other side of the bank when the creature let out … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoGreg NewkirkShare On TwitterShare On GoogleHey Dylan , would you or your friend be willing to talk more about these weird sightings ? We 're trying to make a record of them . Drop me a line : [ email protected ] Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoSteve RobinsonShare On TwitterShare On GoogleYour pen / ink sketch ( above ) of the ' creature ' leaning out from behind a tree , with one hand steadying itself , is eerily similar to a photo captured by my game camera several years ago . My game camera took a photo of this creature ( still unidentified ) at 1 : 01pm ( brightest sunlight ) , at the edge of the tree line 75 ft from my residence , on 8 Feb 2008 . It is one of two photographs that were triggered on the camera . The earlier picture , snapped at 12 : 55 pm shows grass and brush pushed into view by something which was hiding ( and remained unseen at that time ) … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoWeek In WeirdShare On TwitterShare On GoogleSteve , that 's REALLY interesting . Do you have a larger res version of the photo that we could take a look at ? We 'd love to run it through a few programs . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoSteve RobinsonShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI have both of the original game camera pictures that are much wider , showing the forest behind and the sapling / brush / branches being pushed from behind the tree by " something hiding there " in the picture triggered 6 minutes earlier than this one . I 've been working with others to analyze this photo since we discovered it on the camera memory chip back in 2008 … but still no resolution . We have had ongoing BF activity in the area , with many sightings by friends / neighbors NOT reported due to a wish to avoid ridicule / media . For several years we recorded vocalizations that have NOT been identified … but … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoSteve RobinsonShare On TwitterShare On GooglePls contact me via FB msg if you have difficulty viewing the photo albums or the VIDEO albums . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoSteve RobinsonShare On TwitterShare On GoogleIf you wish copies of my higher res photos , pls send a FB msg and I 'll pass copies your way . If you can provide me with an email address ( didn 't find one on your web page , only a snail mail address ) , then I 'll send whatever you desire to examine . I 'm intrigued by your comment of having some software to analyze the photos . Here is a side - by - side of myself , standing on the same spot as the creature in the game camera picture . It was taken by the same game camera , then the two pictures were aligned and individual marks on the … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoMattShare On TwitterShare On GoogleDo you have any other pictures ( same day , same camera setup ) of that tree ? Right now I 'm leaning towards pareidolia , but it would be very intriguing if that creature doesn 't appear in any other photo . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 7 months agoDonaldShare On TwitterShare On GoogleJUst one more comment , not really trying to invade your site but I find this story very interesting . Here is a footprint from a giant anteater . . due to their gait ( manner of walking ) they sometimes leave three toe footprints only . . get in touch with an expert , go and see them . Find out about their traits and how to attract them . . it isn 't that hard and they are not that scared of humans . In many ways they are like magpies . . thieves . . especially their young when playing . They have been known to leave yards in a mess . … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 7 months agoKevin WebbShare On TwitterShare On GoogleGood Luck Yall ! ! ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoMIB 2 SUCKEDShare On TwitterShare On GoogleHave you considered that Terry Wriste might have been trying to throw you off the trail in Kentucky by overstating the importance of Brown Mountain ? Sounds like he was sending you on a wild goose chase to me . I 'd pay special attention to Kentucky if I were in your shoes . But seriously , there 's no way I can tell you that . You 'll be able to find the information easily , but telling anyone who the third - parties are might put them at risk . I can give you some names of people I don 't like though . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoAlien HunterShare On TwitterShare On Google " SLUF " isn 't gibberish . It 's there for a reason . It stands for SHORT LITTLE UGLY FUCKER . Old acronym from the American soldiers in the Vietnam War . An aircraft was spotted crashing in my town in knott county a couple weeks ago . Multiple copters flew in and they blocked the roads in the area . After a few hours they reported nothing crashed despite several witness saying they saw it wreck . I have a screen shot of our local radio posting that credible witnesses saw the crash . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoBradcShare On TwitterShare On GoogleBlack mountain is prob 40ish miles or so as a crow flies . Good luck . The mountains up here are a little tricky this time of year Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoMattShare On TwitterShare On GoogleWOW - You 've pieced together an impressive timeline Greg . Too bad you couldn 't capitalize on an investigation in 2012 with David but I can also understand why you didn 't . Best of luck to you with your investigation and BE SAFE . There are so many reports of these creatures and it 's only a matter of time before we see some concrete evidence . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoGreg NewkirkShare On TwitterShare On GoogleThanks , Matt ! I really do wish I could have gone out to the site back when it was first reported , but it just wasn 't an option at the time . There was no shortage of cryptozoologists or UFO researchers offering to take the case , but like I mentioned , I didn 't want to hand it off to just anyone in the event that David actually did come back in the picture . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoRuthShare On TwitterShare On GoogleYou know , now that I re - read this , I wonder if there have been any similar sightings in Oklahoma ? There are a lot of old mines in the Eastern part of the state , mostly abandoned or water filled . I know there were a lot of pit mines that are used as fishing holes from when we lived in that part of the state . I 'm not sure about mines that go back in the mountains , but there are some caves in some of the areas there . We lived in Wilburton which is still pretty rural and there are some caves in what … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoGreg NewkirkShare On TwitterShare On GoogleIf you happen to find anything that looks even the slightest bit out of the ordinary , please let us know ! The more information , the better . If you start finding stories of three - toed mine - dwellers , I 'm gonna freak . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoCoppertopShare On TwitterShare On GoogleWell , that 's more than a little eerie , Greg . Good luck , godspeed , and return with tales of High Strangeness , sir . Don 't let the MIBs brainwash you or coerce you ! Seriously , I hope you bring back something good - even if it 's another tale to add to the growing list of oddities surrounding these … things . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoSusan ByrneShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI 'm delighted with this update and all the new info you 've provided - thanks ! I was one of the nay - sayers who doubted the authenticity of David 's story , based on his ' confusion ' about the gender of his dog . Just to reiterate briefly , in my opinion it 's still suspicious : dog - owners simply don 't get confused about that , and there were too many He / She references for it to have been down to a typo . Sometimes , tiny details can mean everything . So I 'm shocked to hear that the local police have , let 's face it , basically confirmed that ' something ' was investigated by them . That really does … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agotinyjuncoShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI understand people thinking a person forgetting the gender of the dog is just too crazy … . but i 've known several people who do just that . Growing up , to our neighbog Mr . Musgrove all dogs were ' he ' . Mr . M even asked how ' he ' was doing after ' he ' gave birth to ' his ' puppies ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agobutch winnShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI live in harlan county kentucky and grew up on black mountain , and there are hundreds of stories about what tne locals call Big Black mountain , and to stay the hell off of it at night . I could point you to literally 100 's of caves , but have no doubt that you will have no problem finding any yourself . I will say that you will want to be careful with the temperature and weather here in October because she can be one mean bitch if it takes a notion . If you are interested in any areas to check specifically feel free … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoLisetteShare On TwitterShare On GoogleKobolds , anyone ? At least that 's my first thought when you say strange small creature associated with a mine . Kobolds are about the right height , but described as more blue in color ( cobalt ) . Believe they were mostly German , but there might have been stories from Wales & England as well . As far as I know , they didn 't leave the mines or cause lights to shine out from the mines - but they were something you didn 't want to encounter . Miners would report seeing them and hearing strange knocking noises . Hope that helps . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoThe AYMERICH Show … Notes 10 / 7 / 15 | Share On TwitterShare On Google [ … ] Main Topic # 3 - The Return of the Kentucky Goblins - I read this story Monday morning and it has been on the top of my radar and morning coffee read . Damn good research has been done here and I am curious about the findings … When all is said and done I am going to invite the team on the show . Even if I have to go to Cincinnati and pre record them . Kentucky was besieged by " goblins " from outer space in an encounter that went down as being one of the most credible , well - documented cases of extraterrestrial contact . READ … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoBrettShare On TwitterShare On GoogleHey guys , a Kentucky native here and you may be interested to read up on the Cherokee legends of the little people in the Appalachians . They were known as the Yunwi Tsunsdi and we 're considered to be tricksters and able to control the thoughts of people who strayed too close . Just a little interesting folklore to take a look at . Please be careful as these old mines and caves have been known to harbor terrifying creatures of the terrestrial kind as well as little goblins . Take care ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoRavensfeeShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI couldn 't sleep last night so got up and ended up reading this and the earlier post in a pitch black room at 3 : 30am hoping I wouldn 't suddenly hear something scurrying around in the back garden . They 're great posts and tell a fascinating story . I was gripped . But as I was reading them at the back of my mind all I could think of was a throwaway comment Greg Bishop had made on an old Radio Misterioso podcast about how Ufology could do with a good hoax to liven things up . I 'm paraphrasing , Greg or maybe it was one of … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoGwenShare On TwitterShare On GoogleJust wanted to compliment you on some great research / investigating and echo everyone else in saying be careful out there ! Really looking forward to seeing your stakeout results ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agojosh chowShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI 'm on vacation at red river gorge only about an hour away from pike county . I 'd love to come help out if needed . Thanks Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoruss barnesShare On TwitterShare On GoogleGreg no fear these being are from another dimension . they cannot kill you . now you may get hurt but that could be a human or a bear . I hope you have a fire arm . It would be cool . to go with you guys ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoMichael EdwardsShare On TwitterShare On GoogleGreg , I am wishing and praying protection on you and your crew . What a fascinating , fun , unnerving , spellbinding tale you have landed in ! I look forward to your reports with great interest ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoKukeShare On TwitterShare On GoogleHey , y ' all should check out the Mothman Festival in Pt . Pleasant , WV . It has grown to include much more paranormal stuff than just the Mothman . The festival is in September , but the Mothman Museum is open year ' round . Check it out … and definitely talk to Jeff Wamsley . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoEdgars FreibergsShare On TwitterShare On GoogleReading your piece something struck my thoughts . These events are all taking place apparent in or around Point Pleasant KY and directly across from that Point Pleasant WV site of Keel 's famous Mothman / MIB encounters . Guess what Point Pleasant sits smack dab on those extensive cave system of Mammoth Cave KY . And your having the same MIB like events going on as Keel did . Caves seem to be all connected to these events . Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoTroy FerrillShare On TwitterShare On GoogleGreetings ! Not sure why I 'm writing to y ' all , except to say I really feel compelled to drop a quick line . I 've resisted posting a comment up until now , simply because I don 't feel I have anything to contribute like so many of the other folks who have posted . Nonetheless , I 'm putting this out there for your consideration . The Kelly - Hopkinsville case has fascinated me since I was a boy . Not sure what " they " were or are , but I think there 's one thing to keep in mind . You 're investigating during a very liminal time of the year … this is the season of … Read more » Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoMichaelShare On TwitterShare On GoogleI gather from twitter that you found the house ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoTomyShare On TwitterShare On GoogleLouisville resident here ! Really excited to hear of a great , interesting case in my home state . The Hopkinsville Goblin case has always been a favorite of mine and the connections this makes is pretty exciting ! Good luck and can 't wait to see more ! Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 8 months agoRayShare On TwitterShare On GoogleSo I 'm waiting for an update to this mystery … . Also has no one noticed that the image of the paper containing the bold 31 and GPS coordinates also shows a fragment of a page dealing with matters esoteric ? It would be interesting to know what book that is and what could be on page 31 . Might it be from the UFOnauts book mentioned in this article or some other book by Greenfield ? ? ? I 'm just not taking anything for granted … Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 7 months agoGriffinShare On TwitterShare On GoogleWOW ! No new update on this in over a month …… . . Did they get lost out there or did they abandon this altogether ? Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 7 months agoGriffinShare On TwitterShare On GoogleWOW ! ! ! ! Great story and you have me hooked . Why no update for over a month ? are you guys lost out there or has the story been abandoned ? Vote Up0Vote Down Reply1 year 5 months agosmershShare On TwitterShare On Googleimagine every paranormal group out there having a piece of a jigsaw puzzle . Now imagine every paranormal group putting aside their personal beliefs and coming together and sharing their piece of the puzzle . The PTB do not care if you have one piece , by itself it means nothing . If your eyes are open , then take that map of yours about the cave systems and compare it to " OTHER " maps . Be careful , it would be better to take the bribe or the visit than the alternative . All roads lead to Rome . About Week in Weird Week In Weird is one of the web 's most - visited destinations for all things weird , bringing you the latest fringe news , original articles featuring real investigations into unexplained phenomena , eyewitness reports of encounters with the anomalous , and interviews with notable figures in the fields of extra normal study . Week In Weird is part of the Planet Weird family , brought to you by the paranormal adventures of Greg Newkirk and Dana Matthews , professional weirdos investigating the unexplained by engaging the strange . - MORE ABOUT WEEK IN WEIRD
|
Wednesday ( Halloween ) Got the bus back , but not without some hassles . Most of the warranty work was done . The lavatory wasn 't because the replacement was more damaged than the one being replaced . A day - night shade hadn 't been ordered . The washer - dryer will be replaced under warranty - - scratch that - - they 're trying to get approval to replace it under warranty . If so we 'll come back after Defending Old Fort Parker next weekend for that . Several other things were fixed , no problem . The customer pay , of course was done , a new ladder installed , a new exhauxt tip , both victims of the trailer when backing up . We know now . We 'll run with the ladder up , and I know not to get much angle on the trailer , so we won 't hit the exhaust with it . $ 966 for that lesson . When we bought the coach we fell for the pitch for " Diamond Fusion , " a glass treatment that was supposed to work like permanent Rain - X , make the glass easier to clean of bugs , and strengthen the glass . Their video shows a BB hitting the glass without damage . it also promised 72 virgins and ten million dollars if I bought a magazine . Scratch the last part . Didn 't work . No , it made the glass HARDER to clean , more streaked , and no improvement in rain . I complained in September . They said everyone was complaining , and they didn 't know what was wrong , whether they weren 't applyng it properly or it just was crap . But , in 2 days in the shop , on appointment , they didn 't touch it . They said they 'd redo it this trip . Nope . The 2 porters who know how to do it were off at a motorcycle show ( ! ? ! ) Called Tracy this morning when Jessie , the service advisor , said they probably wouldn 't get it handled . That would make 4 days without touching it despite appointments . Tracy , the business manager , was out for the day . Called the new GM , Jim Pursley . I 'm sorry I didn 't record the conversation . If I had I would send it to some trainers I know so they could use it as an example of how to screw up a complaint call . I called on the speaker phone so The Redhead could hear . I 'm pretty good at complaining , having had to field complaints for many years . I start off gentle , with a short explanation and a clear description of what I want done . Within 5 minutes , Jim had caused The Redhead to enter the conversation , VERY pissed off . So in 5 minutes he had gone from a customer with a problem to a RED HAIRED customer very pissed off . Later we talked to him in person , and he did a much better job . Unfortunately he started by replaying the claim . It had already been approved . Once we got through that he asked me if I knew that it came with a bottle of stuff , and we were supposed to re - apply it ONCE A MONTH . I replied that if I had heard anything like that I wouldn 't have bought it . I doubt anyone would . So he said if they redo it , what 's to keep me from complaining again in a year . My response was since it had never worked , I would probably be back in a month if it didn 't work this time . I reminded him they had received so many complaints they had stopped selling it and still didn 't know if it was poor application or a poor product . The only problem now is I have to figure how to clean the residue of this crap off the windshield so it will be normal to clean instead of really hard . I 'm capable of applying Rain - X as needed . I was using it in the early 70s on rallies and continued using it until I just ran out of time for such luxuries while working . I should be able to do it now , where I 'm only about 3 times as busy as I was when working . Another problem : State inspection . There 's a state inspection place , Jordan 2000 , down the street from Ron Hoover . I stopped by to make sure we could get the bus in and out of the parking lot , and that he would do it . He said he could , then changed his mind and said he couldn 't because he couldn 't get it inside the building . It should be noted that pre 2007 production diesels are exempt from emissions testing and only need a basic safety inspection , for which the shop still gets $ 35 . This can be done in the parking lot . He claimed that no , he had to check emissions . I left . Jessie promised a call to DPS . Refusing to take a customer during business hours can cost you your state inspection license . When the coach is in the shop , so is our home . We ran errands all morning , Lowe 's for new 2 " x 10 " x24 " blocks for leveling and soft ground support . Several of the old ones were broken getting the bus unstuck , and most of them soaked in sewage because of our parking where , unknown to us , sewage would be coming out of the restrooms up the hill . The basement smells of it enough without putting those pieces in there . $ 13 to replace them . This is not a good way to spend our time when the coach is in the shop . $ 70 at Lowe 's , $ 100 at PetSmart , $ 100 + at Randall 's . Not economical . Back to the bus at 3 PM . No worries about it accidently being finished today . Not much done . If it 's done by the weekend I 'll be surprised . Waiting for the other shoe to drop and them to tell me that one of the parts they swore was here isn 't , and / or the bedroom cabinet door wasn 't ordered and will take 3 weeks . Stay tuned . October 29 , 2007 We left the Wal - Mart without incident , had breakfast at a Cracker Barrel with an RV friendly parking lot ( after rejecting one without ) , and drove to Brookshire without any problems , arriving by 3 . The damaged door hinge on the trailer gave up the ghost , and the upper hinge and lock are the only things holding it on . Good timing . It goes to the shop tomorrow morning , as does the bus . We 're eager to get the last of the warranty items fixed ( and the things we 're paying for ) so we can head west after the event at Fort Parker November 8 - 11 . October 28 , 2007 When I said the food was better than any Saturday night banquet since Range War 2000 , I forgot the Comancheria Days with sit down , brought - to - the - table - by - waitpersons meal . Someone reminded me of it . It was outstanding . Range War did have German food by one of the excellent German restaurants in Fredericksburg . I 'm sa real fan of German food . Back to the match : I started the day by knocking a shotgun off a table for a stage DQ . I 've gone 8 years of SASS without ever getting any kind of DQ , other than a large dipped cone , so it was inevitable , just bad timing at an important match . Normally I let my stage times suffer to make sure this sort of thing doesn 't happen . It could have been worse . A world champion dropped a loaded gun on stage 10 . Good stages , good posse . Lots of fun . I don 't remember anything I could really complain about in 10 stages . By the way , 10 stages is perfect for a 2 day match . 5 stages a day is fun . 6 is overkill , especially considering how many seniors , super - seniors , and Elder Statesmen / Grand Dames shooting . Guns given away : one per posse - - 11 . One to most valuable posse member ( drawing among 11 ) - 12 . One for Elvis ( everyone who dressed as Elvis both days and Saturday night was eligible for the drawing . Only 7 qualified . Jailhouse Rock / Flaming Star Elvis won ) - 13 . One for Marilyn ( only 2 women dressed as Marilyn both days and Saturday night . Huricane with One R won - 14 . And an engraved , nickel plated Uberti Winchester ' 66 in . 45 Colt was given out in the final drawing - - 15 total guns given out , if I counted correctly . Those aren 't the only prizes . Lindholm Brothers Spurs and Lone Rider Leather ( Jack Houston , my oldest friend in SASS , who DQed me ) were notable for several prizes . Lindholm Brothers also donated a nice set of spurs ( $ 350 if I remember correctly ) for a raffle for the SASS Scholarahip Fund . As luck would have it , Wimpy , of Lindholm Brothers , won . He donated them back for another raffle to be held at the December Badlands Bar 3 monthly match . Sunday everything finished before 4 . This is an unique event offering a lot for the money , great stages , great entertainment ( without the usual long , boring awards presentation ) . They want the regional next year . I think they should get it . We had the bus on the road by 6 with considerable help . Apparently a sewer line was leaking under the bus , making it a quagmire . The drive wheels were uphill of that smelly quagmire , but still two guys with a big pickup hooked up a chain and pulled as we backed out . Don 't know if we 'd have made it without them . Glad they were there . Thanks . Jack Houston moved the trailer to a point where we could back up to it . Hopefully I impressed he onlookers when I backed up to it in one try , even though I couldn 't get a straight shot at it because of the crowded RV parking lot . We tried for one RV park after dark , but neither of us saw an entrance , and once we were past it the nearest place we could have turned around on the narrow road was 17 miles away , so we pressed on and parked in a Wal - Mart that already had RVs parking there . We 've been told ( by the know - it - alls on the online RV forums ) that one shouldn 't put the jacks down ( didn 't ) or put the slides out ( did - - have to in order to use the bedroom and to keep the cats from disappearing into places they shouldn 't . ) We did buy stuff at the Wal - Mart . Some more of Posse 4 's stars : Rocky Meadows , 1st place Lady Gunfighter . Somehow I neglected to get photos of her son , Boulder Meadows , who looks like a future SASS star . Idaho Sue Wimpy The man , the myth , the SASS Wire legend , Long Jim Hancock Velvet Glove in the early morning . Yes , there are a lot of photos of Velvet Glove on this website . What 's your point ? 2nd Lady Gunfighter October 27 , 2007 Good stages , close targets , simple target order . Why can 't other clubs get the message . This works . What 's the purpose of a SASS Match ? The purpose of a SASS Match is to entertain the paying customers , the CONTESTANTS . If you think it 's anything else , you should ask someone who understands this to write the stages . Entertainment was highlighted by Elvis It should be noted that the costume contest was limited to Elvis and Marilyn impersonators . Above is the worst Elvis impersonator , as Old Elvis as he would have looked if he did a remake of " Jailhouse Rock " at 62 . He is accompanied by the ever lovely Redhead . Yes , that was the worst Elvis wig in the place . One of the Marilyns at the tailgate party Saturday night . In addition to steaks by Outback Steakhouse - - the best SASS banquet food I 've encountered since the 2000 Range War , Elvis did a concert that was quite good , and a 1 hour professional fireworks display . Then there was Old Marilyn ( Huricane With One R ) It should be noted that the Elvis winner was Cowtown with his DOG . One more time a dog wins a costume contest . If that doesn 't convince you to not take them serious , I give up . Plainsman match . Bad Gene Poole ran it . The first stage had 4 shots at 200 yard targets . Gene used his long range barrel , which he had tested the targets with the previous day . No one else hit all 4 . We shot 3 stages , 2 on stage 9 , one on stage 10 . The first shooter destroyed the 4 rifle targets on stage 10 , making huge dents in them with full charge . 45 - 70 rounds . One almost penetrated . After several shooters , most shooting . 45 - 70 , shot them , the targets looked like pictures of the moon 's craters . I had to borrow Omaha John 's rifle because The Brisco Kid hadn 't sent it with his wife , who was here opening the shop . He won 't be here until later . He has my rifle putting a dovetail on the front for a Marbles bead front sight and one on the rear sight for whatever I want to put on . Now that Gene 's started a trend with 200 yard targets , I may have to get one of the expensive Smith rear sights with the ladder flip up . On second thought I 'm not sure that 'll help . Shot the other side matches - badly . One had the Texas Star for pistols . I like it . Noted that where we 're parked isn 't drying out . Not good . Every other place seems to be drying fine . At the meet and greet I saw Rocky Meadows and said , " I hear you 're on my posse . " She corrected me . " No . you 're on MY posse . " October 25 , 3007 Called Edsel at Trailer World and told him about the damage so he could order the parts . Drove to Bar 3 Ranch . Came in the " Dry Camping " door for us peons not worthy of one of the sites with power ( all booked up sometime in 1999 I believe ) . Found T - Bone and asked where we should park . He told us , and I moved the bus about 10 feet before getting stuck . T - Bone and Bad Gene Poole , along with the help of others , pulled it out using a tractor and a Jeep with a winch . Took an hour or two . The Redhead " helped " by disappearing in mid project , having margaritas with Omaha John and his wife . I knew she hadn 't gone to a casino . I could see the ML . We 're in a spot parked next to the trailer . Might never get out . The wooden blocks put under the jacks went down in the gumbo , stopping somewhere before reaching China . The jacks on the right side are down . The excess slope light came on . We fiddled several times . Still on . Spirit level shows 1 . 5 ° down to the right , confirmed by the bedroom door refusing to stay open . Put the slides out and gave up . Only got one receiver to receive satellite signals on the DirecTV . No problems yesterday . Location ? Is it the satellite gods punishing me for shooting CAS ? I did note the real reason we got stuck . It was the driver 's fault : Headed toward English for Comin ' Atcha . The usual delays in getting moving made us consider reality and stop in Corsicana for the evening . Along the way we came to a bridge with road work . They made it one lane by using large barrels filled with sand . Unfortunately one was about 8 feet from the concrete wall on the left , leaving no room for the bus . Result , damage to the trailer down the right side . It 'll have to just get fixed while we 're at Ron Hoover with the bus . More of $ 1 . 00 Margarita night at Old Mexican Inn . October 22 , 2007 Monday Cleaned up the shop . Vacuumed , used the compressor , swept , and scrubbed the floor . Still has shot on it . More places for it to hide than a jungle . After I think I 've gotten everything clean , another regiment of shot rolls out of a different hiding place . Spent or fresh primers occasionally join them , but they 're big enough to get caught . Finally ran out of time . Had to go to the VA hospital . The jury is still out . Didn 't get back to the bus till nearly 7 . Winter arrived at Houston today . 91 yesterday , 55 today , rain , high winds . October 21 , 2007 Went to the " Cowboy Bullseye " at Texas Historical Shootists Society . This is the first club I shot with , so it has a special place in my heart . They have one of the best facilities in Texas , a full frontier town / shooting range on a working ranch . Some of the sets are quite elaborate . All are well maintained by a dedicated membership . They march to the beat of a different drummer . Their targets are small and distant . Quite often the shooting order is difficult . Some years back they were given some big targets . One was used today . I haven 't seen the others in a few years . They had 3 posses . When I started , they would have 100 shooters on a beautiful day like today . Major Ned Prentiss was there . Major Ned always has a spectacularly good , detailed , accurate costume . This was their annual Wild Bunch match , so he was in full 1916 Punitive Expedition uniform complete with vintage 1911 pistol and 1917 revolver and antique holsters . He shot a 97 . This is the first time I 've seen him shoot smokeless ! One stage , at Fort Finn , required that we shoot the rifle upstairs , then go downstairs to shoot pistol and shotgun . I was wearing big Texas spurs . I took them off . Another thing about THSS . I can 't remember when someone cleaned their monthly match . Someone cleaned Trailhead , their annual match , and they vowed to make it harder . I think I had 2 clean stages and considered it an accomplishment . Good posse . Always nice people there . Enjoyed the match . Felt a lot less exhausted than last week . The doctor visit Tuesday must 've paid off . I would post pictures , but I forgot to take a camera . I took some with the cell phone , but I have no idea how to get them from the phone to the computer . October 17 - 20 , 2007 Nothing worth recording here . Chores and errands , reloading . We both got haircuts , still much longer than when we were working . October 16 , 2007 Doctor visit . The Redhead got the DirecTV working , but it took most of the day . She gets the credit as she figured out the closely guarded secret that you apparently have to get 95 + on transponders 1 and 2 to download the software . There are 32 transponders . Normally over 90 % in a couple of transponders is enough for a good picture . October 15 , 2007 Monday Drove to Brookshire . The rains came . Poured . When we got to the park and set up we had to wait for the rain to stop to get the ML out of the trailer . Replaced the Margarita meetings at Spec 's , then got food . Shot the team shoot , singlehandedly destroying my team 's chances by having 2 misses and one procedural . One miss was a round with a light primer hit on the rifle . Hopefully this is not a sign of another rifle problem . Very glad to leave Ormsby Ranch . Great event . Great people , but the RV parking leaves a little to be desired . We were parked in what seemed to be a good place at the top of the hill , but after we were settled , we realized that the owner had a high power range next door , and we were downrange within the 170 ° area . Every time they fired off a shot the dog hid under furniture , The Redhead jumped and screamed , and I hit the deck . To make us feel even less wanted , someone hung a dead fox on the fence next to the coach , freaking out The Redhead . The Redhead loves all furry forest creatures and mourns their passing . Anyway , it grossed her out . Got out the goat path v - e - r - y s - l - o - w - l - y and went to the KOA in Waco for the night . Still couldn 't get DirecTV working , and when we called them , the machine said the wait to speak to a human was infinite , so call back tomorrow . Watched local TV via the antenna . We 'll be going to Brookshire for a week for medical stuff tomorrow . October 13 , 2007 The party was at a better location than years past , an exposition center in relatively nearby Glen Rose . Of course getting anywhere meant going over the goat path to paved roads . It was easier in the ML than in the bus . The bar had decent Margaritas at a good price but closed when the awards presentation started . I do better at awards presentations with a Margarita . As awards presentations went , this one went pretty quickly , which is a good thing . They gave away several guns . It seems to be a Texas thing . Of course I didn 't win anything . The Chaparral 1876 in . 45 - 60 went to the wife of the guy reading the numbers . Nothing suspicious there . And it 's not like every man in the audience wasn 't lusting after the rifle . ; ) Costume Contest Highlights Hey You won the most modestly dressed award , or was it best dressed Soiled Dove ? Great outfit ! Colonel Dan , all the way from Florida , showed that there is life for your old Mess Dress Uniform after a military career . Just wear a Civil War - era hat with it . The yellow trim indicates a cavalry officer ( armor ) , and the US Army hasn 't changed the color of its dress uniforms since then , so that works , too . Speaking of Colonel Dan , the leader of the Stealth Bullet Shooting Society , this event gave more Clean Match awards than all of the events I 've attended this year . This is a good thing . It means the stages were fairly simple , and the targets fit the guidelines in the SASS Handbook . It also means there were a lot of good shooters at the event . Colonel Dan named the clubs involved the SBSS Headquarters of Texas and made the match director a life member . Coldstream Guard comes to Texas Not your average SASS costume . I did ask the gentleman his name . My excuse for not remembering it is that my aide neglected to write it down . The Confederate Contingent at Ormsby Ranch Left to right , a sergeant major , General Lee , a colonel in the general staff At the Match : Judge Roy Bean came down on Saturday to represent SASS , along with the not - pictured Justice Lilly Kate , Queen of all SASS Omaha John making smoke . The pink - long - johns clad gentleman is Silver Sam . I do believe I had more equipment problems than I 've had all year , with the catastrophic rifle failures on Friday , and a very rare cap jam on Saturday . But the match itself was great , well organized with good stages , good targets , and great posse marshals . We heard through Laurie Darling that Justa Hand came through is surgery well . Prayers are out by a lot of people in SASS for this great guy . October 12 , 2007 Friday Showdown at Ormsby Ranch , the SASS Southwestern Regional Blew the match . The extractor on the rifle went south , causing 9 misses total . The Frontiersman field is really good here . I 'll be last , no doubt . Joe Brisco fixed the rifle this afternoon . With this field I 'm not sure I wouldn 't have been last anyway . Omaha John was shooting like a different person , about twice as fast as usual . The others were always good . It 's Texas . People know how to shoot here . The Friday night dinner turned out to be hamburgers , chips , and beans . Not very many people there . Had several over for Margaritas afterwards . Out of tequila now , but tomorrow we 're going to the awards party . Sunday we 're leaving . Showdown at Ormsby Ranch , the SASS Southwestern Regional Registered . Shot the Plainsman match . Like the new . 45 - 70 rifle . No misses except for a revolver chamber that I 'd neglected to put powder in . Learned that Justa Hand went in for an angiogram and is now scheduled for a bypass - - this just after his wife got the stent . Wow ! Sure hope he does okay . Really nice people . Had Omaha John and Patty over for Margaritas . October 10 , 2007 Went to Ormsby Ranch , site of the Southwestern Regional . The last part of getting there was a white knuckle ordeal . It consisted of a goat path paved in sharp rocks , steep climbs and descents , and a low - water crossing with a concrete pad over it that probably wasn 't designed for 40 , 000 lb . Then we got to the RV park . They had 30 amp power and for a select few , not us . No problem , using the generator costs less than $ 25 a night ( which is what we paid at Corsicana for a nice flat space with 50 amp power , water , and sewer . ) We had difficulty finding a level spot , finally using several of our 2 x 8 x 24 wood pads that we got for such situations . Plenty of room , though , at the top of the hill from the other RVs . The DirecTV unit , which had been giving signs of problems , wouldn 't work , no power light , no output . Drove to Burleson to a Best Buy for a new $ 99 DirecTV / DVR combination , not a TiVo , though , as DirecTV no longer has a deal with them . Called John Polk for advice . Then called DirecTV , where a nice lady said she activated the new unit and deactivated the old one . Did I mention that at Ormsby Ranch both Verizon phones get zero bars . We were almost to Burleson before we got good signals . Got back to the ranch , and Omaha John invited us to a group dinner in Cleburne . The Redhead accepted enthusiastically , so we got to drive another 40 miles . Upon returning , I put the DirecTV in . The unit did everything but download from the satellite . Worked on it with Handlebar Bob 's help till late . Gave up . The old unit wouldn 't work here last year . I 'm beginning to suspect we 're in the Bermuda Triangle of Texas . October 9 , 2007 Got up early and put the trash out where Ray told us to , then waited for the mail . Still got my back dirty putting the ML in the trailer . ( See below ) . Drove to Corsicana to an RV park for the purpose of a dump station , 50 amp power , all the things you get at an RV park plus proximity to Gander Mountain , which has the shot I prefer , got 50 lb . Also got 1000 shotgun wads . Our red sewer hose , part of the system that uses twist off connections , came apart at one of those connections , causing The Redhead to phone me at Gander Mountain in search of a replacement hose with those ends . We had a spare , so we installed it after using a large hose clamp failed to keep the hose connected to the twist on connector . I don 't know if this brand just has a short service life expectancy or if this one was just defective . We had 2 10 ft . and one 5 ft . hose . I 'll get a 15 ft . next time we 're in Camping World . We 've learned , backups and extras for power , water , and sewer , because we might not be close to connections . Power , for example , at Oakwood , required extension ( 30 amp ) cords for both the bus and the trailer . We 've been as far as 100 ft . from a water faucet . We now have 2 50 ft . white hoses and a 20 ft . We also have an inline whole - house water filter . The water at Oakwood turned the insert brown in a few minutes . This is in addition to the filter in the coach 's system . Went to dinner at the Old Mexican Inn on the recommendation of the lady at the RV park . Massive crowd at the little , nondescript place . Had to park across the street . But the wait was only 10 minutes . When we sat down I was reading the margarita recipe on their menu , the waitress showed up and said it was dollar Margarita night . They use José Quervo Gold , Grand Marnier , and Cointreau . They were very good , very big . Everything we had was very good . $ 23 ! Plus a $ 10 tip for the excellent waitress , who did a first class job . October 8 , 2007 Monday Final practice day . Since I didn 't realize this was a holiday , Columbus Day * , I had mail forwarded here . Thus we 'll have to wait until mail comes tomorrow before leaving . Cleaned out the trailer . Vacuumed and swept the floor . Not enough . Must be because I 'm a guy . I 'll work on it more in Brookshire after the regional . * Christopher Columbus was either the man who discovered America and got screwed by history because the continent is called America after an obscure mapmaker , or a mass - murdering racist tyrant monster if you oppose having a parade for Columbus Day . Neither side in the controversy mentioned his real contribution , taking syphilis from South America to Europe . October 6 - 7 , 2007 Saturday - Sunday More practice . Not getting any better , though . Ruby was back , running around on her golf cart . Modern medicine is amazing . Made up some . 45 - 70 rounds . Walked down the hill and tested samples , then made up 50 . Neat to be able to do that . Ready for the Plainsman match at the regional now needing only the ability to shoot , which , sadly , is lacking . October 3 - 5 , 2007 Wednesday - Friday More practicing . Texas Alline ( Ruby Henderson ) , who , along with her husband Justa Hand ( Ray ) , own this place , went to her cardiologist with some complaints . Wound up getting an angiogram and a stent . We found about it when I read it on the SASS Wire . All went well . The @ # $ ! % ! Porter - Cable air compressor blew a seal . The owner 's manual described the process for getting warranty service , which was way beyond unreasonable . Drove to Palestine . Wal - Mart and Lowe 's had nothing suitable . Lowe 's had more Porter - Cable and Bostich with a nail gun included $ 200 . Found the Sears in Palestine . Tiny . But they had Craftsman compressors . Got a 1 hp , 3 gallon unit with a 2 - year , take it back to the store for replacement guarantee , $ 124 including taxes . It 's limited to 125 lb . instead of 150 , irrelevant except for pumping up the front tires on the coach , which we usually do at Flying J 's when fueling anyway . They need 120 lb . Whether a 125 lb . compressor can pump up a 120 lb . bus tire is yet to be seen , but probably close enough . Friday was my birthday , 62 . As they say , if I knew I 'd live this long I would have taken better care of myself when I was young . Looking back , though , I 'm not sure I had a choice . This means I 'm eligible for SS , but they 're sneaky . It starts the first full month after your birthday , and the check is the following month , meaning December . Had all those contributions since 1963 been put into a 401K type account , the monthly stipend would have been many times what I 'll get . It 'll cover the monthly diesel bill if fuel doesn 't climb too high . October 2 , 2007 Moved to the Oakwood Outlaws range . Backed into the space on the first try . Give me 10 - 20 years and I might get the hang of this big rig driving . The plan is to practice and decompress here . The RCBS Turret Press and accessories were waiting for me , necessary to load . 45 - 70 rounds for the Plainsman side match . Bought an H & R . 45 - 70 from Goody at Fort Parker ( $ 175 - cheap ) . Had to drive to Palestine for cell service in order to talk to MOPH . The VA had denied the prostate cancer claim , saying I had provided no evidence that I had prostate cancer , and they showed no record of my receiving treatment for same at the VA . Needless to say , I 'd sent them the records , and I 'm TRYING to get an appointment to see a urologist at the VA . Don Hubbard ( MOPH ) said , " their mail service is a disaster . " He wanted me to send him the records . From now on everything VA related will go through MOPH .
|
Bill Kimberlin July 6 , 2013 About two and a half hours north of San Francisco is an idyllic little wine region called Anderson Valley . The Valley is noted for it 's beauty and lately for it 's Pinot Noir wines . I purchased a weekend retreat here in 1990 . I worked in the hi - tech motion picture business and enjoyed the escape to my small ranch whenever I could get away . Since retiring in 2002 I have been able to spend more time there . Now , I can go for a week or ten days at a time . I have a nice three bedroom Sea Ranch style house built out of redwood there , and lots of acres to roam around on . The place is secluded but not remote . In five minutes I can be in the small town of Boonville , with restaurants , a 1870 's era hotel ( whose own restaurant was made famous by the foodie culture of the 1980 's ) , an old fashioned 1930 's hardware store , and several other small shops and even a recent book store has been added . The best part is that the Valley still retains the feeling of a small country town . It is nothing like the tourist towns of the Napa and Sonoma Valleys . There are tourists that come through on the weekends but without many places to stay , most soon leave . The Valley is also somewhat protected by a long curvy highway that snakes thru the hills for almost thirty miles before dropping into the Valley . Many people avoid quick trips here because of that road and only brave it to get to the Mendocino Coast , which is much more of a tourist destination . Many people know of the Valley because of a popular beer called Boont Amber that is made by the local Anderson Valley Brewing Company . All of this makes the Valley one of the last unspoiled places in America . That is until last summer . There is a little cottage - like structure on my property and I have been renting it out for the last five years or so , just for the spring and summer months . I often advertise it as a getaway from the city or a place to hide - out and finally finish that book you 've been writing . The cottage is in an idyllic spot with beautiful views of the Valley below . A couple of young men drove up and pronounced it perfect for them . They wanted to chill out after graduation from college . It would be a time to reflect on what to do next . As I was about to leave for a vacation island off the coast of Florida , I grabbed their wad of cash and gave them the keys . In California , a person with a doctor 's recommendation can grow marijuana plants for their personal use . In Mendocino County , where my ranch is , there is a hell of a lot of marijuana being grown , both legally and illegally . About one third of those who answer my ads want to grow , and I always tell them no . If they want to smoke it , that 's their business . If they had one plant I 'd be OK with that , but not a growing operation . I usually answer , " Will you need a drying shed as well ? " That ends it . They never write back after that . So I told these guys , no growing . It would attract bad guys who think there must be large amounts of cash lying around ( which there usually is in these operations ) , and or they might want to steal your crop and shoot you in the process . No thanks . The pot was growing in a fenced off area that the tenant from the summer before had built for his vegetable garden . I walked up to the fence and said , " It smells like dope " , to the tenant kid who came out to see who drove up . " Yeah , isn 't it great ? " he said . I told him , " I want this stuff out of here . I told you one plant . " The college boys begged and whined for a few days and then it got kind of nasty . They came over to my house trying to negotiate and I lost my temper and threw a plastic chair in their direction . It hit the ground and broke . That is when they called the cops . In about twenty minutes , a deputy sheriff 's car pulled onto my property . The deputy was named Walker and he was talking to the tenants . I walked over and Deputy Walker said , " I will talk to you later " . So I went back to the house . After awhile the deputy came over and I invited him in . I told him I had owned this place for over twenty years and that I sometimes rented out the cottage for the summer and I told these kids they could not grow dope here . Deputy Walker was concerned that this could escalate . " You have liability here , " he said . " But this is my property , " I said with incredulity . " It 's a grey area , " he said . It 's your land but the crop belongs to them . If I were you I wouldn 't go near it . " He gave me his cell phone number and said to call if things got worse . I called my neighbor who lives about a mile away , she is a lawyer . " You should have had a ' no marijuana ' clause in the lease " . There was no lease ; it was a hand shake deal . My next thought was to find out if I had any legal liability from having a grow operation on my property . It turns out Mendocino County is very hands off on pot prosecution . It is legal to grow for personal use if you have a doctor 's recommendation . It is not a prescription , just a form stating that he recommends you smoke dope as treatment for some ailment . These statements are easily obtained in California . My tenant had obtained his from his doctor in Visalia which is a central valley town five or six hours drive south of my ranch . Looking further into the law I found that the license needs to be posted at the pot garden and that the garden needs to be fenced with a locked gate etc . Of course no one is going around and checking any of this . Deputy Walker didn 't even know about these rules , as near as I could tell , or he would have mentioned them . Mendocino County has become a magnet for pot growers over the last few years . It has , since the early 1970 's , been a pot loose area as the " hippies " gradually left San Francisco 's ' Summer of Love ' and formed the ' back to the land ' movement . But now , with California making medicinal pot legal , and Mendocino taking a hands - off attitude , the flood gates have opened . Everyone from retired school teachers to single mothers , are paying their mortgage with pot profits . It is the largest cash crop in the state . " Mortgage lifters , " they call the plants . Now I was interfering with the fundamental nature of the new economy . To some locals , I might as well have been planning a post - pot holocaust . Would I be shunned by my neighbors ? Was I to be a pariah in this paradise valley ? I needed to find out , to take a sampling of my neighbors , but I had to be discrete , it was not easy to tell who was with you and who against . But I wasn 't for or against anything , I was innocent , wasn 't I ? I called the doctor listed on the " recommendation " form . He wouldn 't talk to me but his secretary said it was a license for " indoor " growing only . I called the " Legalize Marijuana " or some such , office . They sympathized and didn 't support outlaw growers . " If you could get yourself some " female " plants and place them near the offending crop that will kill them , but I don 't have any idea where you could get any " . I thought about renting a small herd of goats until I talked to a local goat herder who said , " Marijuana is about the only thing goats won 't eat . But they won 't . " Then I remembered that my neighbor Frank , who is a logger and wood cutter , had all kinds of heavy equipment , including huge bulldozers and other monstrous vehicles that can rip down whole forests . I reached him at his logging operation at the other end of the Valley . " Hello , Frank ? I 've got a problem . " I can be there in ten minutes " , he said . " And I 'll bring my big truck , that will scare the crap out of them . " The two of us went over and confronted the tenants , who had brought in a friend , " For legal advice " , they said . I lost my temper and started yelling at this guy to get off my property . Frank later told me , " I was just waiting for him to take a swing at you . " That would have solved my problem but he was too smart to fall for it . Through it all , Frank stood shoulder to shoulder with me and I 've lived long enough to know that there are very few people in the world that will do that for you , unless I suppose you hang out with Hell 's Angles and such . It doesn 't happen much in the wine and slow food crowd . That is another thing I like about this Valley , there are some real people here . Neighbors in the country all rely on each other . They have to . Frank had some eviction notices at his house so I rode over to his place and got the forms . The next day I called the Feds in Sacramento and was referred to the agent in charge of my area . It was a woman and I left her a message laying out the whole story for her when she called back . While it is legal to grow and smoke under California law , it is still illegal under Federal Law . I knew she wouldn 't do anything but I did get a laugh out of her when I said , " Consider it a training exercise for the boys and I 'll buy them all dinner . " Thanks but no thanks was the reply . Next stop was the district attorneys office in Ukiah , which is about 25 miles to the East . They didn 't laugh at me but they suggested I go down and talk to legal aid , to see what they could recommend as far as how to serve papers and all . I learned that if I served them with a three day eviction notice , they could challenge that and appeal it , but if I served them with a 30 day notice there was no appeal . They paid by the month so all I was required to do was give a month 's notice . Since our law is based on English common law , and since everyone used to be a tenant or worse , a peasant , the law has evolved over centuries to make it difficult to throw people out of their homes , rented or not , and this is as it should be . It just makes it hard for landlords to get rid of the occasional crook or deadbeat . When I got home I found my sledge hammer and spent the afternoon knocking down the fence that surrounded what used to be a vegetable garden and what was now a pot garden . This was an open invitation to the herds of deer that pass through my property every morning and evening as they go down to the river to water . I wasn 't too hopeful regarding this tactic since my tenants had a dog , ( a pit - bull mix to round out the druggie connection ) and deer stay clear of dogs . I was now reduced to placing my faith in the abundant gofers that normally frantically search for something to eat other than the wild grasses on my place . I was never there enough to tend a garden , I left that up to any tenants that might want one . Various cars would show up in the middle of the night and I didn 't know who these people were . Were they coming to transact business ? Not with these plants , they hadn 't flowered yet . Just more friends , the tenants said . I really didn 't like this , the whole thing had gotten out of hand . I thought about just getting a bunch of local loggers ( these guys are huge ) and just paying them to bounce these college kids out of there . But then I thought , what if something got out of hand ? This thing could really escalate then , if someone got hurt . I couldn 't risk that , although it was tempting . I decided to ask for a meeting with the kid who had the license . His name was Alex and he was the only one who could legally deal with the plants . I was told by the friends that he was out of state visiting his sick mother . So I called the kid 's brother . He had been an original reference . The brother owned real estate and sounded like a business man . He didn 't agree with what Alex was doing and sympathized with my situation . I hoped he would put pressure on his brother . My survey of the neighbor 's feelings about pot turned up as many opinions as I had neighbors . This is a very liberal area . Radical even . But it is a mix . There are the old timers , Valley folk whose ancestors homesteaded here , and then there are the hippies and their fellow travelers who made homes here in the 1970 's , and then there are the wealthy weekenders . Mixed in with these groups are a few famous people like Alice Walker who lives here permanently , and who originally wrote her famous novel , " The Color Purple " here . She says that she had tried to write it in many places but her characters wouldn 't speak to her . " Then I move to the Valley " , she has written , " and they wouldn 't shut - up . " Kary Mullis , surfer dude and noble laureate , ( who won a Noble for his work on the PCR technique of DNA replication ) , is also a sometime resident . In fact , he had his break through idea on the long twisty road that leads into the Valley , and his friends went out and dug up the road side mile marker from about where he had his " ah ha " moment , and gave it to him as a present . Another , famous local who bought a big old resort property here in the redwoods , is Jeff Skoll the co - founder of EBay . He has a heliport and everything you would expect a billionaire to have . Also here , is the retired couple who founded The French Laundry , which is often referred to as the best restaurant in the world . They run a small cooking school / farm retreat . Not to be forgotten are the many Spanish speaking families who have come here over the last twenty years to work in the vineyards and other local businesses . And finally there are the winery folks , from the world renowned Champagne maker Roderer who , I like to note , has two locations , one just outside Paris , France , and one just out side Boonville , California ; to the small but equally renowned Pinot Noir vineyards , and other fog loving varietal growers and wine makers . With too many opinions to count , I moved on with my most audacious plan . One morning I get up early and drive to town for a cup of coffee and a roll . I know that all hell is going to break loose when I get back . As I drive up to my house and park , one of the tenants is yelling into his cell phone about " grand theft " . Fully half of the plants have been up rooted and are missing . " I have no idea where they went " , I tell them . " It could have been an angry neighbor . We just don 't know " . The cops later tell me that they didn 't even return the tenant 's call , and it slowly dawns on the tenants that they either get a truck and dig up the plants they have left , or they will soon have nothing . Some may ask why this didn 't happen sooner , but this whole episode took a while to figure out . As it was , after they escaped in a rental truck with what was left of their plantings , I got a phone message threat from one of them for only getting part of their security deposit back . " You wouldn 't want something to happen to you or your family , " was the message . So you never know who you are dealing with . I relayed the threat to the local deputy , who I had by now become fairly friendly with , saying I didn 't think it was too serious . After all , who would leave a threat on a recorded voice machine ? How stupid is that ? But I wanted a record of the call just in case , so I transferred it to my digital recorder . Even today , almost a year later , I still have to stop myself from getting angry every time I see a twenty something that looks like them . A little dramatic ? Maybe , but this is a special place I have . I found a metal sign from a Paris flea market and it hangs by my front door . It says , " Mon rêve " , ( My dream ) . I am just glad to have my dream back homepage
|
SUPERMAN ' S PAL JIMMY OLSEN 40 , October 1959 , was published around August 20 , 1959 . It contained 32 pages for the cover price of a dime . The editor was Mort Weisinger , and the cover was pencilled by Curt Swan and inked by Stan Kaye , featuring the issue 's first of three stories . All three 9 page stories were drawn by the same art team of penciller Curt Swan and inker John Forte , and have been reprinted in SHOWCASE PRESENTS : SUPERMAN vol . III . Adam Dechanel , writer for the SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE , is also writer and co - producer of THE JUNGLE BOOK , a play that will be performed at The Lion & The Unicorn Theatre in London , England from December 13 , 2013 through January 14 , 2014 . If you are going to be in Great Britain during this time , and would be interested in attending this play , call 08444 - 771 - 000 . To learn more about the production go to http : / / www . thejunglebook . eu / . Finally , Al Plastino posted a picture of himself on facebook recently , holding his original art for the story , SUPERMAN ' S MISSION FOR PRESIDENT KENNEDY . This story was scheduled to be published during the month of November 1963 , but was pulled from the publication schedule after his assassination . It would later be published in SUPERMAN 170 , which was covered back in Episode 49 , December 10 , 2008 . He had meant for his original art for the story to be donated to the JFK Presidential Library , but recently discovered that it was up for auction . After checking with the JFK Library , which could not find any record that the art had ever been donated to the Library , Mr . Plastino tried to get the art back from Heritage Auction . According to Mr . Plastino , they informed him that he no longer had rights to the art , and would not reveal the identity of the art 's consignor . A spokesman for Heritage Auction replied to someone 's facebook post , stating that the art had first been sold at a Sothby 's auction in 1993 . The consignor Heritage was working with had an excellent track record with them , , and they had no reason to doubt that he had the right to sell the art . The spokesman also explained that the picture showing Mr . Plastino holding the art for the title page was taken at the New York ComiCon . A Heritage employee was talking with Mr . Plastino , and he wanted to look at it , and another Heritage employee took the picture . The theme of this podcast is PLANS IN MOTION , composed by Kevin MacLeod , and part of the royalty free music library at http : / / incompetech . com / . Superman and all related characters are trademark and copyright DC Comics . Any art shown on this podcast is for entertainment purposes only , and not for profit . I make no claims of ownership of these images , nor do I earn any money from this podcast . SUPERMAN ' S GIRL FRIEND LOIS LANE 5 , November / December 1958 , was published around September 11 , 1958 . All three stories have been reprinted in SHOWCASE PRESENTS : SUPERMAN FAMILY vol . II and SUPERMAN ' S GIRL FRIEND LOIS LANE ARCHIVE vol . I . The editor was Mort Weisinger , and the cover was pencilled by Curt Swan and inked by Stan Kaye . - SUPERMAN ' S GREATEST SACRIFICE ( 9 pgs . ) , dcindexes . com does not list a writer , but comics . org identifies him as Robert Bernstein , but both websites identify the artist as classic Lois Lane artist Kurt Schaffenberger . This story was also reprinted in 80 PG . GIANT 3 , September 1964 , published around July 30 , 1964 . Check out SLIPSTREAM , the weekly web comic book I 'm drawing and lettering , which is written by Jeffrey Taylor , co - host of the FROM CRISIS TO CRISIS PODCAST and contributor to the SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE . New pages of SLIPSTREAM can be found eachTuesday at http : / / www . clockworkcomics . co . uk . Adam Dechanel , another contributor to the SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE , also writes and draws E . O . S . for Clockwork Comics , and new pages are available on Tuesdays and Thursdays . Clockwork Comics is the home website for amazing web comics and e - books ! The new home for THE SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST is http : / / thesupermanfanpodcast . blogspot . com . Send e - mail to supermanfanpodcast @ gmail . com . You can join the SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST group or page on facebook , and follow the podcast on twitter @ supermanpodcast . SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST is a proud member of thefollowing : - The LEAGUE OF COMIC BOOK PODCASTERS at http : / / www . comicbooknoise . com / league , - The COMICS PODCAST NETWORK ! - http : / / www . comicspodcasts . com / , - The SUPERMAN WEBRING of websites , and - The SUPERMAN PODCAST NETWORK at http : / / supermanpodcastnetwork ! The theme of this podcast is PLANS IN MOTION , composed by Kevin MacLeod , and part of the royalty free music library at http : / / incompetech . com / . Superman and all related characters are trademark and copyright DC Comics . Any art shown on this podcast is for entertainment purposes only , and not for profit . I make no claims of ownership of these images , nor do I earn any money from this podcast . Thanks for listening to the SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST and , as always , thanks to Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster , creators of Superman ! ACTION COMICS 274 , March 1961 , was published around January 31 , 1961 . It contained 32 pages for the cover price of Still 10 ¢ ( which meant that the cover price wouldn 't be a dime much longer ) . Mort Weisinger was the editor , and the cover was pencilled by Curt Swan and inked by Stan Kaye . The 13 page Superman story was titled THE REVERSED SUPER POWERS , written by Jerry Siegel and drawn by Kurt Schaffenberger . This was Siegel 's 24th silver age Superman story and his 58th overall for this era . This story was reprinted in SHOWCASE PRESENTS : SUPERMAN vol . II . Before this story was published , Siegel wrote two stories for SUPERBOY 87 , also cover dated March 1961 , KRYPTO ' S FIRST ROMANCE and THE SCARLET JUNGLE OF KRYPTON , both drawn by George Papp . Supergirl starred in the 13 page story , SUPERGIRL ' S THREE TIME TRIPS , also written by Jerry Siegel and drawn by Jim Mooney , and was reprinted in SUPERGIRL ARCHIVES vol . II and SHOWCASE PRESENTS : SUPERGIRL vol . I . This was Siegel 's 35th Superman family story and his 59th overall for the silver age . Check out SLIPSTREAM , the weekly web comic book I 'm drawing and lettering , which is written by Jeffrey Taylor , co - host of the FROM CRISIS TO CRISIS PODCAST and contributor to the SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE . New pages of SLIPSTREAM can be found each Saturday at http : / / www . clockworkcomics . co . uk . Adam Dechanel , another contributor to the SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE , also writes and draws E . O . S . for Clockwork Comics , and new pages are available on Tuesdays and Thursdays . The new home for THE SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST is http : / / thesupermanfanpodcast . blogspot . com . Send e - mail to supermanfanpodcast @ gmail . com . You can join the SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST group or page on facebook , and follow the podcast on twitter @ supermanpodcast . SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST is a proud member of thefollowing : - The LEAGUE OF COMIC BOOK PODCASTERS at http : / / www . comicbooknoise . com / league , - The COMICS PODCAST NETWORK ! - http : / / www . comicspodcasts . com / , - The SUPERMAN WEBRING of websites , and - The SUPERMAN PODCAST NETWORK at http : / / supermanpodcastnetwork ! The theme of this podcast is PLANS IN MOTION , composed by Kevin MacLeod , and part of the royalty free music library at http : / / incompetech . com / . Superman and all related characters are trademark and copyright DC Comics . Any art shown on this podcast is for entertainment purposes only , and not for profit . I make no claims of ownership of these images , nor do I earn any money from this podcast . Thanks for listening to the SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST and , as always , thanks to Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster , creators of Superman ! When I began doing episodes of The Superman Fan Podcast , I also did this companion blog where I typed my show notes in full for those who would rather read about each episode topic than listen to a podcast . As I learned more about blogging I began embedding an audio player so my audience could do both . Since I began drawing the webcomic Slipstream , time management has become a more difficult chore . Since I want to continue the podcast and draw Slipstream , I have decided to end this blog so that I can devote my efforts more efficiently . I 've enjoyed posting each episode here , but I finally had to realize I couldn 't keep all the plates spinning without dropping a few . Thanks to everyone who followed this blog , and I hope you continue to enjoy future episodes of The Superman Fan Podcast . Check out SLIPSTREAM , a new web comic book written by jeffrey Taylor , co - host of the FROM CRISIS TO CRISIS podcast , and drawn by yours truly . Thanks to SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE . com contributor Adam Deschanel for putting the website together . http : / / www . clockworkcomics . co . uk / . It will begin November 2011 . Also , if you know the original publication information for a Superman story involving his alien zoo at his Fortress of Solitude , reprinted in the 1970 SUPERMAN BUMPER BOOK , a UK Superman hardcover anthology , post it in comments or through the contact information below . You can join the SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST group or page on facebook , and follow the podcast on twitter @ supermanpodcast . SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST is a proud member of thefollowing : - The LEAGUE OF COMIC BOOK PODCASTERS at http : / / www . comicbooknoise . com / league , The COMICS PODCAST NETWORK ! - http : / / www . comicspodcasts . com / , - The SUPERMAN WEBRING of websites , and - The SUPERMAN PODCAST NETWORK athttp : / / fortressofbaileytude . com / supermanpodcastnetwork ! SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST is at http : / / thesupermanfanpodcast . blogspot . com / . Send e - mail about this podcast to supermanfanpodcast @ gmail . com . The theme of this podcast is PLANS IN MOTION , composed by Kevin MacLeod , and part of the royalty free music library at http : / / incompetech . com . Superman and all related characters are trademark and copyright DC Comics . Any art shown on this podcast is for entertainment purposes only , and not for profit . Thanks for listening to the SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST and , as always , thanks to Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster . World 's Finest Comics # 86 , January / February 1957 , was published around November 29 , 1956 . It contained 32 pages for the cover price of a dime . The editor was Jack Schiff , and the cover was pencilled by Curt Swan and inked by Stan Kaye . The Superman and Batman story was titled The Super Show Of Gotham City , written by Edmond Hamilton , pencilled by Dick Sprang and inked by Stan Kaye . This 12 page story was reprinted in World 's Finest Archive vol . II and Showcase Presents : World 's Finest vol . I . After returning to the Batcave , the Dynamic Duo began picking their trophies which they thought would most interest the public . They were soon joined by Superman , who volunteered to participate . Batman had the idea of the heroes re - enacting some of their super deeds , and Superman planned to arrange for Clark to have a few days off in order to make time for the show ( Clark 's 4th silver age vacation ) . The charity show even made front page headlines in Metropolis , but Clark informed Lois that he wasn 't going to be there ( at least in that identity he told himself ) . Lois met Commissioner Gordon outside Gotham City , where the charity show would take place . They were soon joined by Batman and Robin , and Lois noticed that there was nothing set up for the public to sit and watch the show . Superman appeared and chiseled a stadium out of a rock cliff . The charity show began with the Gotham Police Motorcycle Corps riding in various formations . Superman carried a giant platform which was filled with many of Batman 's trophies . While the public observed the Bat trophies , Mr . Bartles , who had been contracted to film the show , thought to himself that Superman and Batman wouldn 't like his plans for his film of their show . After Superman borrowed two buildings from Gotham City , Batman and Robin re - enacted their defeat of a spider like machine robbers used to scale a building . But Batman 's aim was thrown off when the flagpole his batrope was tied to bent . Robin helped him recover and they stopped the machine . Superman 's first stunt was to catch the rocket originally used by the Rocket Rocketeers to rob banks . The Man of Steel misjudged the trajectory , and had to catch up with the rocket . Bartle 's cameraman commented that both scenes were spoiled , but Bartle wasn 't worried . There would be more stunts to film . The World 's Finest Heroes next re - enacted the case where Batman and Robin found and defused a bomb that had been hidden in a merry go round . Superman lifted it above the crowd for safety . Batman and Robin were successful , but had to hold on for dear life when the merry go round began to spin at a high speed . Commissioner Gordon declared the show would be over until tomorrow . The first act on the next day was recreating when Batman and Robin used the Batplane to catch a gang that wore diving suits to reach their underwater hideout . After flying the Batplane low over the water , Batman retracted the Batplane 's wings so that the craft could operate as a submarine . But they didn 't emerge , and bubbles surfaced . Superman rescued the submerged Batplane , and Batman and Robin were unhurt . As he retrieved a giant bow from Batman 's trophies , Superman adjusted the bowstring . Lois had hidden in a lead box used by criminals to hide from Superman , and had seen the Man of Steel sabotage the bow . She was convinced that he must have locked her in the rocket . Superman and Batman reenacted when Superman shot an arrow , carrying Batman , to catch some crooks who had sabotaged a bridge . The Man of Steel had remained behind in case he had to make emergency repairs . Superman undershot the plane , but Batman had worn his parachute cape , and floated safely to the ground . Before Lois could inform Gordon what she had seen , Bartle demanded his check back , because his film was worthless . Batman and Superman convinced Gordon to agree to Bartle 's demand . The heroes informed Bartle that they knew of his plan to market the film as an actual documentary of their real exploits and not re - enactments . They had purposefully botched their stunts , and now they would perform for real , and the film from the show would make a lot of money , all for charity . They began with Superman juggling Batman and Robin as he flew over the crowd . First of all , I can 't picture Batman participating in any charity show . That 's a job for Bruce Wayne . While I didn 't feel sorry for Bartle being scammed , I had to wonder about the crowd . Why would they want to return for a second day if Superman and Batman performed so badly . It was never made clear if Superman did lock Lois in the rocket . I wonder if the producers of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight got the idea for the glider cape from Batman 's parachute cape in this story . I give it 2 Superman Capes out of 5 . Check out SLIPSTREAM , a new web comic book written by jeffrey Taylor , co - host of the FROM CRISIS TO CRISIS podcast , and drawn by yours truly . Thanks to SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE . com contributor Adam Deschanel for putting the website together . http : / / www . clockworkcomics . co . uk / . It will begin November 2011 . MY PULL LIST is my spoiler free comic book review blog of the titles I read every week . It can be found at http : / / mypulllist . blogspot . com / . Send e - mail about this blog to mypulllist @ gmail . com . This episode could be called The Jerry Siegel Show because he wrote all of the stories discussed in this episode . After these five stories , Siegel had written 13 silver age Superman related stories for DC Comics at this point . Before the stories discussed in this episode , he also wrote Prisoners Of The Super - Heroes for Adventure Comics # 267 , December 1959 , and The Ghost Of Jor - El for Superboy # 78 , January 1960 . Superman # 135 , February 1960 , was published on December 17 , 1959 . It contained 32 pages for 10 ¢ . Mort Weisinger was the editor , and the cover was pencilled by Curt Swan and inked by Stan Kaye . At the Daily Planet offices , Lois Lane peered out the window and saw some robbers fleeing in a getaway car . Clark Kent went to the water fountain , claiming to feel faint . Lois thought it might be more than a coincidence that Clark disappeared every time Superman appeared . Clark was very aware of what Lois was thinking , and recalled when she didn 't suspect he was Superman . Cue the flashback . Once she arrived at her desk , Lois examined the hands of every man in the office for signs of wet paint , except for Clark Kent . She scoffed at the possibility that Clark could be Superman . As a matter of fact , Clark had already used his x - ray vision to melt the wet paint from his hands , but almost didn 't know whether to be relieved or insulted that Lois found the possibility that he was the Man of Steel ridiculous . On the following Saturday , during a beach party for the Daily Planet staff , Lois snooped through everyone 's things for clues to Superman 's secret identity . In a rare shirtless appearance , Clark buried himself in the sand so that Lois wouldn 't suspect his too fit physique . He stuck a fake flabby arm on the outside if his mound , but Lois didn 't notice as she passed by . She was listening to another woman talking about the possibility of finding Superman 's secret identity at that evening 's masquerade party . Clark was annoyed this time that Lois didn 't notice him . After the beach party ended , the Planet staff returned to the office to publish the paper 's afternoon edition . Clark received a phone tip that Lex Luthor had just escaped from jail . In a flash of anger , Clark squeezed the phone receiver out of shape . Lois noticed it , and chastised Clark for switching his real phone for a fake one in order to play a trick on her . Clark changed into Superman and began searching for Luthor . He found a truck carrying life sized was statues to a museum , and offered to melt the face of the Luthor statue in order to shape it more realistically . That blew Luthor 's cover when he hid his face , and he was captured . After returning to the Daily Planet office , Superman was changing into his Clark Kent clothes when Lois walked into the storeroom . She was annoyed at Clark for wearing the Superman costume in order to make her a laughingstock . After all , it 's all about Lois . Later , while plumbers were making repairs , Lois began to have second thoughts about dismissing the possibility that Clark could secretly be Superman . She decided to put him to the test by using a small piece of kryptonite that Perry had given her to photograph for a feature article she was writing . Lois placed the kryptonite in a pipe and showed it to Clark . He did a good enough job of hiding the agony he was under so that Lois tossed the pipe in the trash can . But after she reviewed the notes for her article , she noticed the one about lead shielding kryptonite radiation . Lois returned to Clark 's office and retrieved the pipe , only to discover that it was made of aluminum , not lead . What she didn 't know was that Clark had switched the pipes to throw her off . Back in the present , as Clark stood at the water fountain , he used his x - ray vision to peer through the wall and see that a police car had stopped the crooks , and would not require Superman 's assistance . To cover himself he placed his foot under the fountain 's foot pedal , and " needed " Lois ' help in getting unstuck . Lois scoffed at the notion that Clark could possibly be Superman . Or was it an act ? The story ended before the circle could start all over again . This was an okay , humorous story , but not great . There really wasn 't a clear reason for Superman to touch the flagpole , unless wet paint is as irresistible to Superman as it is to the rest of us . Clark was very clever to always cover his tracks in this story . I did find Lois a little harsh in dismissing Clark , That weakling - Superman ? Don 't make me laugh . It would be a ridiculous waste of time to study his hands ! I liked that Clark didn 't know whether to be relieved or annoyed . I 've often thought the same thing . Lois was very nosy at the beach party , and it was smart of Clark to keep Lois from noticing his in shape physique . I couldn 't help but think that wouldn 't others notice Clark 's build and suspect that he might be Superman . When Clark planted the fake arm , I wondered about what he would do if Lois picked up his " hand " . His closest call was when Lois waved the kryptonite under his nose . My favorite way that Superman has ever captured Lex Luthor was in this story . When the Man of Steel noticed Luthor posing as a wax statue in the back of the truck , I liked his comment , That wax face of Luthor doesn 't do his ugly face justice . Superman caught Luthor off guard when he offered to use his x - ray vision to remold his face . Superman 's Mermaid Sweetheart was the second story of the issue . This 10 page story was pencilled by Wayne Boring and inked by Stan Kaye . It began as Clark was driving through a fishing village on his return trip to Metropolis after covering an out of town story , when he overheard a conversation about a mermaid . Clark decided to check it out , and walked into a conversation between a group of fishermen . Hans Schmidt claimed a mermaid had freed his catch . Another fisherman told him that maybe he should stop fishing illegally in spawning waters . Clark rushed to the beach and telepathically called for Lori . After a false alarm that turned out to be only a dolphin , Clark , who had changed into Superman , found her on the beach . In a rare panel without a word balloon or narration caption , they shared a lingering kiss . Superman immediately proposed , but Lori declined . He did talk her into going on a date , but after dinner at a night club , Lori asked Clark to take her back to the beach . Superman again proposed , and promised to leave the surface world and live with Lori in Atlantis . She swam back home to ask permission , which was granted . The Man of Steel didn 't notice Schmidt eavesdropping on them , until Hans threw his harpoon at the dolphin Lori rode . She saved the animal from the harpoon but severely injured herself on the jagged rocks . Schmidt fled a furious Superman , who rushed Lori to Atlantis . He first had to lead an atomic beast out of the water and into a volcano to its doom , after it began chasing them . Atlantian doctors saved her life , but informed Superman that she was paralyzed . In the last panel , sometime later at the Daily Planet , Lois told Clark that he had been looking for a while as if he had lost his best friend . Clark thought to himself that it was more than a best friend , but it seemed as if he had awakened from a dream . Apparently , he had begun to bounce back , as he asked Lois for a date . The story ended before she responded . This is my favorite of the few silver age Jerry Siegel stories we 've covered so far . It was a sequel to the original Lori Lemaris story . Siegel gave Superman a range of emotions that has been rarely seen in one story , from love , rage to jealousy . While Lois has been Superman 's main object of affection , here in the silver age it seems to have been Lori Lemaris , judging by the number of times he proposes to her in this single story . The Trio Of Steel was the third and final story in this issue . This 8 page tale was drawn by Al Plastino . It began on a hot day , when Superman used his x - ray vision to evaporate a swimming hole , then melted the ice of a skating rink . Then he blocked the broadcast signal of a Metropolis TV station with his impenetrable body , causing a lot of interference . A gleeful Superman changed into Clark Kent and returned to the Daily Planet offices . Perry White assigned him to write a story about Superman gone berserk . When Perry read the story he asked Clark if he thought he was Mr . Mxyzptlk , because he had written the story backwards . Clark asked if he could take the rest of the afternoon off , because he didn 't feel well , and Perry granted his request , as long as Clark still attended Perry 's testimonial dinner . Superman wouldn 't be welcome , Perry added . Superman attended the dinner anyway , and proceeded to humiliate Perry by making him dress as a rabbit , clown and bum . The Man of Steel then took Lois to Niagara Falls , where he proposed . Then his attention was drawn to a homely woman , and together they mocked Lois . After returning a furious Lois to Metropolis , Superman flew to an unnamed mountain where Mr . Mxyzptlk waited for him . After he snapped out of his hypnotic trance , a furious Superman made a deal with Mxy so he would return to the 5th Dimension . The Man of Steel would give him a Superman robot . Instead of one robot , three robots flew to Mr . Mxyzptlk , a Superman , Superboy and Superbaby robot . None of the robots wanted to return to the 5th Dimension until Mxy talked them into competing against each other . The Superboy robot hit the mountain , breaking his arm , which was repaired by the Superman robot . He shook Mxy 's hand until he made the imp dizzy . Superbaby began to cry , so the Superman robot carved some alphabet blocks . When Superbaby tried to spell the letters , Mxy helped the robot tot and unknowingly spelled his own name backwards . Before he vanished back to the 5th dimension , Mxy learned that the real Superman posed as a robot . My first thought was that , early in the presidential campaign trail , how politicians wish they could blame Mr . Mxyzptlk for some of the dumb things they say . Siegel indulged his sense of humor writing a mischievous Man of Steel . This wasn 't a bad story , but not a great one either . I can 't give it a 2 , so I 'll give it a low 3 Superman Capes out of 5 . Action Comics # 261 , February 1960 , was published around December 31 , 1959 . It contained 32 pages for the cover price of a dime . Mort Weisinger was the editor , and the cover was pencilled by Curt Swan and inked by Stan Kaye . It began when Superman had brought his Fortress of Solitude to Metropolis for people to tour , as a charity fundraiser . Superman and his robots used x - ray vision to ensure no criminals snuck anything into the Fortress to damage any of the displays , or tourists . Superman gave an oilman his autograph , and was gracious enough to allow a welder to eat lunch while he toured the Fortress during his lunch hour . Superman robots caught someone trying to sneak in a disguised homing beacon that would reveal the Fortress 's secret location , and took him to jail . Someone asked Superman about a bust of Urko the Terrible . He declined to tell the story behind the bust , but we saw in a flashback how Urko , a cloud being , animated the statues of Superman 's friends to attack him in his asteroid Fortress in space . Superman fled his Fortress and blew a star into Urko 's path , which pulled Urko to his doom . Another tourist asked Superman about a globe which displayed a flaming man . The Man of Steel again politely declined to explain this trophy , but we were given another flashback , showing Superman moving his Fortress from outer space and hiding it in the center of the Earth . He was attacked by flame beings , until he saved them from an underwater river their attack had broken through to . The Anti - Superman gang waited at their hideout , watching a seismograph for a sign of the gigantic explosion . When they saw the needle move , they celebrated the destruction of the Fortress , until Superman smashed into the Fortress and arrested them . He wouldn 't reveal how he foiled their plan . After he returned to the Fortress , Superman communicated with the Kandorian scientists who had discovered the plot , and we learn that when the welder tossed the cap , it happened to cover the rainbow jewel and block its therapeutic radiations , and allow the Kandorians to alert Superman to the danger . That was because the cap was made of lead . The Man of Steel planned to destroy the Rainbow Jewel so that it wouldn 't happen again . I thought that it was poetic justice that the members of the gang brought about their own downfall . This was an interesting story about some of Superman 's previous locations for his Fortress . I thought that he was a little unfriendly to some of the tourists when he refused to answer their questions about some of his trophies . If I had been one of the tourists , I would have felt disappointed . If Superman didn 't want to answer questions about some of his trophies , I think it would have been better if he had sequestered those trophies from public view . It was a clever way to create tension in the story with the jewel interfering with the Kandorians ' signal . This story also had some of the over the top silver age touches of Superman stories , with the Man of Steel using his super breath in the vacuum of space to blow a star into Urko 's path , causing the death of another being . This was rare for the silver age Superman , compared to his golden age roots . Supergirl 's 8 page 11th story was titled Supergirl 's Super Pet , drawn by Jim Mooney . This story has been reprinted in Supergirl Archives vol . I and Showcase Presents : Supergirl vol . I . As some of the orphans watched a meteor shower , Linda Lee used her telescopic vision to notice a Kryptonite meteor . She secretly changed into Supergirl and traced its trajectory to where it landed , and retrieved it with a piece of lead . Back at the orphanage , after she returned to her Linda Lee identity , she experimented on the meteorite until she began to feel weakened by the rock . She used a pair of long tongs to toss it into the forest . Later , Linda Lee finished an errand in Midvale , when she saw a dog growling at a cat . She used her super breath to pull the dog away from the cat in order to catch the attention of the dog catcher . Somehow , the cat followed her to the orphanage , and Linda was allowed to keep the stray cat as a pet . Because of the stripes on its sides , the cat was given the name of Streaky . The cat explored the area , including the woods , when he came across the kryptonite that Linda had thrown away . In a narration box it was revealed that Linda 's experimentation had created X Kryptonite , which gave Streaky super powers . The cat ran into a Superman doll , destroying it , but the cape looped around Streaky 's neck . He lifted the front of a milk truck , allowing a few milk cans to spill on the ground and feed a group of stray cats . When a big dog chased Streaky up a tree , he pelted the dog with apples . Supergirl heard Streaky 's triumphant meow , and played with hew new super pet until his powers mysteriously vanished . They returned to the orphanage and Streaky dreamed of chasing dogs with his super powers . A narration caption asked readers to write in if they wanted to read more stories with a super powered Streaky . This was an adorable silver age Supergirl story . I was glad that Supergirl , briefly , had a super powered pet , so that she wouldn 't be quite so lonely . At first I thought she was careless to toss away the piece of kryptonite , but then I should have expected that it would play a part later in the story . While I have heard of dogs traveling long distances to return home , I 've never heard about cats doing the same thing , but it didn 't spoil this story . I thought that it was a coincidence that a discarded Superman doll was laying around , and when Streaky broke it , he happened to stick his head through the hole at the top of the cape . But of course a super pet needs a super cape . Check out SLIPSTREAM , a new web comic book written by jeffrey Taylor , co - host of the FROM CRISIS TO CRISIS podcast , and drawn by yours truly . Thanks to SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE . com contributor Adam Deschanel for putting the website together . http : / / www . clockworkcomics . co . uk / . It will begin November 2011 . MY PULL LIST is my spoiler free comic book review blog of the titles I read every week . It can be found at http : / / mypulllist . blogspot . com / . Send e - mail about this blog to mypulllist @ gmail . com . Superman 's Pal Jimmy Olsen # 17 , December 1956 , was published around October 16 , 1956 . It contained 32 pages for the cover price of a dime . The editor was Mort Weisinger . Curt Swan pencilled the cover , which was inked by Ray Burnley . They were the art team for all three 8 page stories in this issue , which were written by Otto Binder . These stories have been reprinted in Showcase Presents : Superman Family vol . I . Jimmy Olsen In The 50th Century began with Superman giving Jimmy a ride in a rocket the Man of Steel had repaired , so that Olsen could do a story about being the first reporter to fly in the stratosphere ( about 6 - 30 miles high ) . A meteor shower began to fall into the atmosphere , and Superman protected the rocket with his fist . Unfortunately , the concussion from Superman 's fist propelled Jimmy 's rocket fast enough to break the time barrier . When Jimmy 's rocket reentered the atmosphere , he bailed out of the rocket with a parachute , before the spacecraft crashed into the Earth . As Jimmy glided to the ground , he saw a farmer in a field . After he landed , Jimmy approached the farmer to find that he was a robot farmer . Jimmy discovered that he had traveled 3 , 000 years into the future , to October 10 , 4956 , to be exact . After receiving the directions to Metropolis , Jimmy walked to his hometown and discovered that it had a much different skyline . Even the Daily Planet building seemed a mile high . He was rubber necking as he explored this very different Metropolis , and accidentally fell into the open doors of an empty underground elevator that stretched 8 , 000 miles to China . Jimmy activated his signal watch , but was saved by a large robot bird , which we never see in this story again . Once he was returned to street level , Jimmy introduced himself and said he was from the 20th Century . One of the pedestrians recognized his name as being Superman 's secret identity , and directed him to the Superman Museum . Jimmy was introduced to Professor Xerxes , who introduced himself as an expert on the Man of Steel . He allowed Jimmy to use some of his devices to simulate Superman 's powers in a number of rescues . The Professor gave his reasons as protecting the Man of Steel 's reputation from a current bestseller , Superman Was A Hoax by John Smyth . It was cool to see the Daily Planet still in existence in the 50th Century , and the plot twist of Jimmy simulating the Man of Steel 's powers was fun to read . And the Professor 's plot to use Jimmy to boost sales of his book was different . It reminded me of the biggest literary hoax from the early 1970 's . Writer Christopher Irving had used some forged letters allegedly from Howard Hughes to convince a publisher to release what turned out to be a fake Howard Hughes autobiography . When the reclusive billionaire denounced the book , the fraud was exposed and Irving would spend some time in jail . The Case Of The Cartoon Scoops began as Jimmy read a letter from an anonymous admirer , who somehow knew that Jimmy had taken art classes in school . The letter writer encouraged Jimmy to use his talent and draw a series of Superman cartoons for the Daily Planet . Perry White looked at Jimmy 's first effort for a good laugh , but liked it enough to make it a regular feature . As it turned out , Clark was this anonymous " Swami " , disguising his voice when he called Jimmy . Things backfired on Jimmy when the next cartoon " Swami " suggested was Superman smashing Jimmy 's Superman souvenir collection . Sure enough , the Man of Steel showed up to destroy the collection , and Jimmy couldn 't bear to watch . But much to his surprise , Superman only banged together some pans to create the noise . Then the Man of Steel revealed that he had been Jimmy 's " Swami " . Then Superman took Jimmy to the original admirer who had written Jimmy at the beginning of this story . Unlike past stories where Clark or Superman played a trick on Jimmy , I liked this one more , for the most part . Jimmy was once again falling into the trap of being gullible . This time , Clark and Superman were keeping a close eye on Jimmy , making sure he wasn 't hurt while he learned the hard way not to let his sources manipulate him . The only time I thought that Superman went too far was to threaten to destroy Jimmy 's collection . Putting Jimmy through the stress and shock of losing his collection was too much . As he walked back to the Daily Planet , some strange things happened that convinced Jimmy that he had become a radioactive menace . Plants wilted at a street vendor 's cart , a bird died after flying too close to him , and Jimmy noticed that even his footprints glowed . He was convinced when he saw his glowing reflection in a storefront window . Jimmy went straight to the roof of the Daily Planet building and flew to a remote area . After landing , Jimmy hid in a cave to wait out his doom . Superman quickly found him after using a geiger counter to follow his trail . The Man of Steel was despondent because there was nothing he could do for his Pal . He agreed to carry out Jimmy 's final wishes , follow through on the Bolton Case , after Olsen gave the Man of Steel the combination to the Planet 's safe . Then Superman agreed to tell Jimmy his secret identity , Clark Kent . Outside the cave we were surprised to learn that the Man of Steel was actually crime leader Barney Bolton himself . He had spied on Perry and Jimmy from the Planet 's fire escape , and Bolton 's gang had been stationed along Jimmy 's path , spraying him with a harmless phosphorescent powder to make him glow , as well as tricking Jimmy into thinking he was radioactive . Bolton had hidden aboard the Flying Newsroom , and flew the helicopter back to the Daily Planet building . When Bolton , still disguised as Superman , approached the safe , he was surprised to find the real Superman waiting for him , along with Jimmy Olsen . Jimmy had summoned the real Superman with his signal watch after the disguised Bolton left . What tipped Jimmy off was when Bolton gave his secret identity as the most unlikely person to be Superman , Clark Kent . Also , as Jimmy 's eyes adjusted to the dim light which back lit the fake Man of Steel , Olsen noticed the mask like look of Superman 's face . One thing I didn 't understand about this story was that Superman was in the same room when Jimmy exposed Bolton 's ruse by pulling off his mask . But Superman wasn 't shown in the background when Olsen explained to Bolton how he deduced that the situation was a fake . It 's not made clear if Superman left the building or not . If he didn 't , I don 't understand Clark 's reaction . Also , I don 't understand what Jimmy was doing with evidence for a trial the next day . Wouldn 't the police have it already , for both the prosecution and defense to use in preparation for the trial ? These are minor quibbles with this story , which was my favorite of the issue . Jimmy was fooled in the beginning , but his quick wits allowed him to get to the bottom of the ruse . I like these stories better than Superman or Clark playing a trick on Jimmy . When Jimmy enters the cave , there 's nothing to indicate that he isn 't radioactive and waiting to die alone , without exposing anyone else to radiation . The ways that Bolton 's gang went about convincing Jimmy he was a danger were cleverly done in a short amount of space . Check out SLIPSTREAM , a new web comic book written by jeffrey Taylor , co - host of the FROM CRISIS TO CRISIS podcast , and drawn by yours truly . Thanks to SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE . com contributor Adam Deschanel for putting the website together . http : / / www . clockworkcomics . co . uk / . It will begin November 2011 . Also , if you know the original publication information for a Superman story involving his alien zoo at his Fortress of Solitude , reprinted in the 1970 SUPERMAN BUMPER BOOK , a UK Superman hardcover anthology , post it in comments or through the contact information below . You can join the SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST and MY PULL LIST groups or pages on facebook , and follow both the podcast and blog on twitter @ supermanpodcast . SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST is a proud member of thefollowing : - The LEAGUE OF COMIC BOOK PODCASTERS athttp : / / www . comicbooknoise . com / league , The COMICS PODCAST NETWORK ! - http : / / www . comicspodcasts . com / , - The SUPERMAN WEBRING of websites , and - The SUPERMAN PODCAST NETWORK athttp : / / fortressofbaileytude . com / supermanpodcastnetwork ! SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST is athttp : / / supermanfanpodcast . mypodcast . com / . Send e - mail about this podcast to supermanfanpodcast @ gmail . com . The theme of this podcast is PLANS IN MOTION , composed by Kevin MacLeod , and part of the royalty free music library at http : / / incompetech . com . MY PULL LIST is my spoiler free comic book review blog of the titles I read every week . It can be found at http : / / mypulllist . blogspot . com / . Send e - mail about this blog to mypulllist @ gmail . com . Superman and all related characters are trademark and copyright DC Comics . Any art shown on this podcast is for entertainment purposes only , and not for profit . Thanks for listening to the SUPERMAN FAN PODCAST and , as always , thanks to Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster .
|
The Very BestToday marks my last phone call to Ethiopia . I was able to chat with my husband for a little while tonight as Baby T had decided that sleep was a good thing . His Dad also cut way back on what he was feeding him and as a result , found that he wasn 't leaving a trail of vomit across Ethiopia . Good news all around . His Dad also told me that they 've obviously bonded across their fluid filled nights . Apparently , someone else tried to take Baby T out of his high chair and he cried until Dad came and carried him out himself ! A little vomit is a small price to pay for that kind of attachment , I think . I spoke to the Boy briefly and he informed me that he has some new headwear - - a Rasta hat . That should make an interesting statement around town , I 'd say . And H has become more talkative and calls " Dad " now when she needs something . But the story doesn 't end here . . . the bulk of their busy day was spent with H and Baby T 's family at the house she grew up in with her mother . I know only a few details from their visit and , I expect , I may never understand the intensity of such a meeting . I do know that it affected my husband in a profound way and I am forever grateful to him for doing something which must have been difficult to do . They were able to take pictures of the kids ' birth grandparents and aunt and godmother , who was a dear friend to her birth mother before she died . The aunt presented H with a necklace and a photo album made for her of her birth family and pictures of her when she was a little girl . Our agency 's social worker came and translated as well as provided suggestions for questions to ask the birth family . She suggested asking what their birth mother wanted for them . And then came the reply , I 'm not even sure who answered , but whoever spoke said , " She always wanted them to have the very best . " Even now , typing her words , leaves me dizzy . They shared a meal together in the small 10 by 10 space our children once called home . Then , before they prepared to leave , the family spoke to the children giving Posted by What a welcome ! Those who felt it necessary to mock my obsession , I mean - observation of the weather forecast for their arrival this weekend . . . Take a look at this : THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN CHICAGO HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM WARNING . . . WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 3 PM THIS AFTERNOON TO 12 PM CST FRIDAY . THE WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS NOW IN EFFECT UNTIL 3 PM CST THIS AFTERNOON . THE WINTER STORM WATCH IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT . SNOW IS EXPECTED TO DEVELOP LATE THIS AFTERNOON AND THIS EVENING AND CONTINUE INTO FRIDAY MORNING . THE SNOW MAY BE HEAVY AT TIMES WITH SNOWFALL RATES OF 1 TO 2 INCHES PER HOUR AT THE HEIGHT OF THE STORM . EXACT STORM TOTAL SNOWFALL AMOUNTS WILL VARY . . . BUT CURRENT INFORMATION SUGGESTS 6 TO 10 INCHES OF SNOW WILL BE POSSIBLE BY BY NOON FRIDAY . . . WITH ISOLATED AMOUNTS AS HIGH AS ONE FOOT . Now , I am rearranging my plans for today to run out and do my last minute errands BEFORE the storm ( that the FOX weather station called the worst since the blizzard of 99 ! ) hits . I figure any housework can get done tomorrow when we are stuck inside the house . B may find herself with a mom - declared snow day , particularly if a foot of snow falls . Loading the girls all up to shovel a foot of snow off the driveway . . . I 'm just not seeing it happening . AND based on just the rain event of yesterday , 200 flights were cancelled at OHare . Please keep the traveling portion of my family in your prayers as they prepare to leave Ethiopia tomorrow . Posted by Man of the HouseB is an amazing kid . She always has been , but the past few days she has been a real trooper . She is quick to help ( without a fuss ! ) or play with her little sisters or to keep a watchful eye on me , even , which this week is no small feat ! I smiled to myself at the self - proclaimed " man of the house . " Then , today , I spoke to the traveling " man of the house . " He sounded a little tired , but upbeat and managing to take things , as he does so much , in stride . It reminded me of Bill Cosby 's talk to his children about being " the boss . " He finished by telling them , that he had seen the boss ' job - - - and he didnt ' want it . I imagine B would think the same if she knew what her Dad had been up to the past few daysBaby T was into the second day of vomitting - usually on Dad . Spending a few hours in an overseas US Embassy to ensure that all i 's were dotted and t 's crossed ( which they were ! ) The Boy was helping by keeping his headphones on and music turned up . The running water was hit - or - miss today at the guest house . There doesn 't seem to be a tub ( for bathing puking babies ) at the guest house . He is preparing to take our brand new daughter , who vascilates between happy and sad regarding leaving Ethiopia , to see an unknown group of relatives tomorrow . I 'm sure he 's also starting to contemplate the trip ( and the length of it ) back home in less than 48 hours . I 'd have to agree with Cosby , I don 't know WHO would volunteer to sign up for this job . Except my husband . For those who wondered , he has 100 % , from start to finish , been a full - time rider - - Captain , even - - on this ark ride . He has been strong and steady through the daunting paperwork , through the emotion of accepting a referral , through the never - ending costs , and now through the travel . . . to a third world country . . . where the prospect of running water is not guaranteed . . . with a sick baby . . . to bring home two children who barely know him at all . . . on a plane which they 've probably NEVER seen , let alone flown on . . . all on his " vacation " time . And I love him even more today thaJane ( a . k . a . patjrsmom ) Advent Virtual Cookie Swap Buckeyes1 - 16oz . box of confectioners ' sugar1 - 12oz . pkg . chocolate chips1 - 18oz . jar of creamy peanut butter1 / 2 c . butter , softened Combine everything but chocolate in a bowl with an electric mixer . Roll into bite sized balls . Insert a toothpick in each ball ; place on cookie sheet . Freeze 2 hours . Before removing balls , melt chocolate chips over low heat , stirring frequently . Dip frozen balls into melted chocolate . Place on waxed paper , cool at room temperature until chocolate hardens . Remove toothpick . Yield : approximately 5 dozen 1 " balls . These cookies are easy for little hands to be involved in the making , freeze well and who can resist a combination of chocolate AND peanut butter ? Enjoy and Happy Baking ! Phone Call # 1First , let me make some corrections to what I wrote about our previous phone call . While it is true that the connection was crystal clear and great AND it is true that I have a bunch of Extreme Africa and Africa Plus + phone cards ; it is NOT true that one depended on the other for that call . . . It seems that in my excitement to call them yesterday , I wrote the guest house phone number on the back of one of the phone cards . Then , in my rush to call , I picked up my phone , looked at the back of the card and dialed . . . DIRECTLY ! I totally forgot to use the code for the phone card ! So , today , I made sure to follow the directions to call and lo and behold , it worked . The price , however , was a less than stellar connection , which started out with a series of fax - like beeps heard on both sides of the Atlantic . Now that you know all about how to call / not call Africa using a phone card . . . My husband reported that everything was going well on the ark . They went to Layla / Wanna this morning and met the kids . The Boy played with some of the boys there and commented to me , " Mom , there are a TON of babies in that little room ! " This from a oldest of six children . . . He said that Baby T is just a cutie and that he hasn 't cried once . Even the Boy says that he just sits and smiles and plays with whatever you put in front of him . They did , however , go out for dinner , where Baby T threw up all over my husband as they exited the restaurant . Lucky for him , he 's so cute ! ( the baby , that is - - - well , on second thought , I guess both of them ! ) H also added that he was asleep already when I called . Oh yes , ( big grin ) that means I talked to my new daughter today ! Her voice was very quiet , but I know she said , " Hi , Mom ! " We struggled to understand each other across the phone and language barrier . She also spoke to her new little sisters . When my husband got back on the phone , he said it had been a very busy day . He said H 's emotions run the gamut from happy to sad and back again throughout the day . He also said that she ( our shy , quiet girl ) Posted by WaitingIt is nearly 3 : 30 in the afternoon in Ethiopia . By my estimation , the boys have meet the kids and have been with them for nearly 6 hours so far , of which I have slept maybe 5 . I have puttered around my house now to the point of exhaustion ( not mine , the house 's ! ) and have very little left to do on my to do list . During the night , out my windows , I have been able to take in the houses in our neighborhood that our already lighted up for the Christmas season . It dawned on me somewhere in the midst of my cleaning frenzy , that I am doing exactly what I don 't want to do . The self - imposed activity has had or will have any effect on what I should be truly preparing for this week . It reminded me a bit , as we prepare this Sunday to celebrate the season of Advent , which precedes Christmas , that slowing down to prepare my heart is more important . Advent is a liturgical season and a time of waiting and expectation . For Catholic Christians , it is a time of spiritual preparation for Christmas . The problem is , that Advent falls right between two very festive , and in America , hugely secularized celebrations containing turkeys and Santa Claus , during which the spirit of Advent can get lost . I have to admit , it is hard to think about prayers , fasting and vigilance in preparation for the celebration of Christmas , but I think I get it a little more this year than in the past . When I was a little girl , I remember having friends who put their Christmas decorations up weeks before us . I rememeber how when we finally put our tree up and decorated it , it was nearly Christmas already . Now , this is not a condemnation of people who decorate early ; it is more a reminder for myself that there is purpose in the waiting . Taken in context , the purpose of Advent really isn 't joy per se , but the anticipation of the joy to come . On Christmas Eve , some 30 years ago , I vividly remember driving home from my grandparents house and marveling at the houses suddenly aglow with the splendor of the night . It was pure magic . That the time had finally comPosted by What not to do while waitingIt is not a good idea to buy a coconut 2 weeks before your husband goes to Africa to bring home your new kids . It is also not a good idea to leave the aforementioned coconut in its plastic grocery store wrap on the counter in the kitchen during that time . Two things come to mind : coconuts are filled with milk AND they apparently have a VERY SHORT shelf life . Still one last thought , the smell that a rotten coconut has is distinct , if you have never smelled it - - - you will recognize it when you do - - - AND it seems to be a lingering scent that permeates the air for HOURS after you find it . Not that I know anything about this , of course . . . Landing ( with update ) So , they are ( by all airline accounts ) on the ground in Bole Airport - - a full 8 minutes ahead of schedule ! Now the REAL adventure can begin ! ! ! Our agency director is supposed to be leaving for Ethiopia tomorrow , weather permitting , so it will be an added bonus if they can meet her and thank her in person for the dedication she has shown to the children of Ethiopia and the families , like ours , who have been so blessed by her work . * * * Update - - - I just hung up the phone with the boys ! They were standing in the kitchen at the guest house when I called . I was able to speak to both of them . They both said they were doing well , the flight on Lufthansa was awesome and they are pretty much awake ( with quite a few others at the guest house , so I understand ) . All of their luggage made it there safely and they had , according to the Boy , a " unique " ride from the airport to the guesthouse . He said it was just a regular road they traveled on , which by his account contains no traffic signs / signals at all . They were welcomed warmly and were happy to meet the other families staying at the guest house . They are scheduled to arrive at Layla / Wanna tomorrow morning at 9 : 30 their time and meet H and Baby T ! I can 't believe the time is finally here ! They plan to go out for dinner with all FOUR of them tomorrow night and I 'm supposed to call to speak to everyone tomorrow around noon CST ! On an aside , the internet connection is apparently a little " rough " , according to my husband , at the guest house , so I 'm not sure how much contact we 'll have that way . On the bright side , our phone connection was crystal clear with no delay . We are using two types of prepaid cards ( Extreme Africa and Africa Plus + ) . You 'd think they were right next door ! So , now to pass the next 24 hours of waiting . . . Now Boarding . . . Lufthansa flight to Addis Ababa , Ethiopia . Scheduled arrival - - - 9pm local time ( which is about noon CST today ! ) I spoke to the boys before they boarded their plane in the middle of the night ( here ) last night . They were doing fine minus the German tendency to anal - retentiven perfectioness , I mean , careful attention to detail . It seems that the rental car people uber - inspected the car upon return and found a tiny scratch UNDER the passenger door ( really people , who looks THERE ? ) and had an intial damage estimate of about 500 Euros ! ! ! ( for those who are inclined , please pray about this unexpected expense ) My first phone call this morning ( actually , second after the pediatricin 's office - - I think N has a bit of croup ) will be to the rental car agency here in the states to see what can be done about this . In the meanwhile , the carpet cleaners are coming to clean every . single . spot . out of the carpeting in the house . This will be great to have everything so clean . What was not great , was staying up to the wee hours of the morning ensuring that all dusting and cleaning was done and everything was off the floor ( it was a half - hour alone to remove all the Polly Pocket paraphenalia from the recesses of the family room ) , but it is finished and soon the carpets will be , too . My plan is to run N out to the doctors as the carpets are finishing , perhaps make a stop or two on the way home to give the carpets some drying time and then make my first ever call to Ethiopia this afternoon ! Posted by Christmas Markets , Birthdays , and StausThe boys have arrived in Frankfurt . They got in a little earlier than scheduled and were able to get breakfast and their rental car with plenty of time to spare . This is a good thing , as when they were returning down A - 5 , they got stuck in a 3 hour long stau ( scht - OW ) , the German word for their horrific traffic jams . If you ask me , this is what you get when you allow mach ten speed limits and the minimum speed of 45kms / hr on the same road , but I 'm getting ahead of myself . In honor of their stau , however , I am snacking on the requisite peanut M & Ms and will make a point to purchase some nacho cheese doritoes later today . Anyway , they made their way up to Giessen , stopping at KG along the way . It is , for those who are interested , nothing more than the church and the church hall across from it . Butzbach housing area is still there and when they got to Giessen , they found Marshall and Dulles housing areas under tight wraps . Both areas ( including the PX / Burger King area ) are entirely fenced in and require admittance by an MP guard . Needless to say , they did not get to go in to see our old apartment . They did , however , make their way to St . Josef 's Krankenhaus , the hospital where the Boy was born - - - 12 years ago today ! They were able to get pictures there and some video . Unfortunately , right as my husband was videotaping ( do they call it that with a digital recorder ? ) the Boy looked up and said , " Dad , I don 't feel so well . . . " Fortunately , he turned the camera away just in time to miss the Boy leave a little of himself for posterity on the sidewalks of Giessen . When I spoke to them later , once they had checked in to the four star hotel they are staying at , their conditions sounded much improved . As a matter of fact , the Boy seemed to have his appetite back , brought on no doubt by the FREE executive mini - bar that occupies the ENTIRE floor above their hotel room ! They were making plans to head out downtown . They could see the Christkindlmarkt from their hotel room window and were headedPosted by And they 're off ! We dropped the boys off this today and their flight is officially on its way ! I 'm not sure about other families who adopted internationally , but for me , it was bittersweet today . The good news is that the journey to bring our Ethiopian children home is in its final stages , but it is always sad for me to drop someone off at the airport - - especially my husband . Those of you who knew us while we were engaged , know that we spent much of our courtship on airplanes completing the East coast circuit along the I - 95 corridor . The airport scene always has a touch of that at departure time for me . The better news is , that this time our reunion will be heralded in by two new family members in 20 degree ( if the weather forecast holds ) weather . ( Ed . note : There will be NO need for any of the members of my wedding party to comment on my fixation with the weather and major life events , thankyouverymuch . ) We have family coming over in a little while to help do some final room arrangments and some of them have been recruited to spend the night with us to help pass the time and give me some extra sets of " grown - up " hands to help with the girls . I 'm expecting a phone call sometime in the middle of the night to hear that they 've landed and I 'll update when I know more . Thanks to all of you who have called and emailed me with your kind thoughts , words and prayers . Our family is so blessed to have you all in our lives . Posted by T minus one weekWell , the bags are packed . The boys have tickets in hand . The hotel reservations and rental car are ready in Frankfurt . We made our one final stop tonight with the Boy , who had a B - day gift card from his grandparents burning a hole in his pocket . He came home with an MP3 player to which he promptly uploaded his Itunes library . My mother - in - law is coming in the morning and we are trekking the boys off to the airport ! This will be our last night in this house as a family of six ! We 're planning on our first communication when they touchdown in Germany . I 'm off to bed and getting ready for our final week of waiting ! Giving thanks on the arkToday , we spent a blessedly full day together . We brought everyone to Mass this morning , followed by a stop at Dunkin Donuts ( where they closed at noon today ) and bought up the last dozen donuts in the store along with two splendid gingerbread lattes - yum ! We came home and baked ( or more precisely , unwrapped and put in the oven ) three pies and made a quadruple batch of the classic green bean casserole . After N awoke from her nap , we headed out to feast with about 50 of our local friends and family at my brother and sister - in - law 's . When we finally rolled in tonight , N and CB were exhausted . They had spent every ounce of their , but thankfully not our , energy playing with their cousins , eating and chasing the big kids around the hall . We tucked them into their jammies quickly and after I filled their cups , I called for them - - - but no answer . I noticed some noise coming from the den and decided to go check and see . What I found is something for which I am truly thankful for , not just today but every day . There my baby girls sat , one on each knee of their dad 's lap , while he downloaded old 80 's videos for them . Of course , this set off the older kid 's " family gathering " radar and they quickly materialized in the doorway of the room dancing and singing along to Elvis Costello 's " Veronica " and as they did , everything on the top shelf of the hutch began to shake . It was at this point that I called out to them , " Hey , you two , you 'd better stop . You 're rocking the boat . " To which the Boy replied , without missing a beat , " No we 're not , Mom . We 're rocking THE ARK ! " I am thankful for this funny , sweet and special family who share their days here on the ark with me , and honored by each day I get to spend with them . Happy Thanksgiving from our ark to yours ! Trash NightNope , this is not a misprint . Nor is it deja - vu . It is the plain , sad truth that I get to join with the ranks ( albeit a much lower ranking ) of CS and AG this Sunday night . My husband called from the other room last night , " You 're going to have trash night duty ! " Honestly , of all the things I 've been trying to micro - manage , this one hadn 't even occured to me . The only good thing about this is that at least one of the kids who is staying home has " Bring up the trash cans / recycle bins " on her chore cards ! Queen of Packing ! My mother - in - law has officially been crowned . It was so nice to have someone come in and help lift the physical and mental fog that has been hanging over my head ( and most of my dining room table as well ) . Everything is neat , orderly and so well organized that my dear husband need only reach into a suitcase , not even looking , and pull out a completely clean and matching outfit for the kids . She came over yesterday morning and after a couple of hours and a few cups of coffee , we had two ( of four ) suitcases packed ! One suitcase is completely filled with the donated items we collected during the Sacrifice Sale as well as toothbrushes and dental floss from our dentist 's office . The second suitcase is specifically for H and Baby T . We coordinated outfits for each of them , including for H - - matching socks , hair accessories , etc . . . For Baby T , we took all the great toy recommendations everyone sent and gathered them together and rolled one toy into each of his outfits . He now has a little surprise when he gets dressed each day ( and possibly more than one should he need to be cleaned up and changed again during the day ! ) We then wrapped each outfit with a ribbon and I wrote a little note to attach to each of H 's outfits and to Baby T 's special Embassy outfit . I 'm hoping that H will take pity on my poor attempts at writing Amharic and chalk it up to my ability to write using Roman characters only . Hopefully , I haven 't written anything offensive or terribly strange . I can just see it now . . . H will show a note to one of her friends at Layla House and the friend will say , " How nice . Why is it your mother says ' Your shoes are so tired . ' " To which H will respond , " Oh , you know her , she only knows how to speak English . " Posted by Wanted : Used Church VanWe have joked before that the only thing bigger than our already big Suburban would be the inevitable next step up to a 12 passenger " church van . " We do know a family who added their 6th child as well and did just that . This was before we saw these advertised in an old Catholic Parent magazine . If you own an SUV and are getting close to outgrowing it - - check this out as a way to stretch your passenger room ! I 'm a stranger here myselfIt 's finally happened . Fall in the midwest is officially over . The farmers are already turning their fields over for next spring and every . single . leaf . has dropped to the ground . Back in the northeast , fall was my favorite time of year . You couldn 't go very far without running into someone in an Irish knit sweater , an apple orchard or pumpkin farm complete with requisite hayride , and , of course , the hills covered in the splendor of autumn reds , oranges and golds . Here in the midwest , it just isn 't quite the same . When I was speaking to the Ethiopian born son of our friends , he remarked that he liked the midwest just fine , but he missed his mountains . I thought about his comment quite a bit for many days to follow , and I realized something . . . I miss my mountains , too - especially this time of the year and especially the mountains that my parents now call home ( although I still cannot bring myself to call their new home phone number , so for now I bask in the ability to dial the 203 area code that still exists on my mom 's cell phone . ) His comments make me wonder about H and Baby T and what parts of their home they might be missing when they land here in this very , very flat place . But as an adult , and one who has had NINE different addresses in THIRTEEN years , there are some things that have softened the loss of my homeland ( and anyone who tells you that it 's just all the same old US of A - - definitely did NOT grow up in New England ! ) that I wish I would have shared with our friend 's son : First , being the new person gives you greater empathy for those who come and are newer than yourself . Remember what it felt like to be the " new guy " and look for opportunities to welcome those who are trying to find their way in a new place . Second , each place that you go will have its own hallmarks . Germany just wouldn 't be Germany without the Christkindlmarkt or the Schnell - Imbiss . Georgia and some of her fine Southern women gave me my first taste ( and the recipe , after I couldn 't find it in any cookbook ! ) for Posted by Plane tickets , packing and birthdays ! The fantasy has finally become a reality ! We 've got plane tickets ! The boys are leaving next Saturday and arriving in Addis on Monday night . We were able to finagle the stopover in Frankfurt so The Boy will be spending his 12th birthday in the city in which he was born . We 're hoping to take an updated photo of the one shown here on the right . ( Although , I think the Boy may be a little hard to pick up for the picture now ! ) My photographer extraordinaire friend , A , took this the day before we PCSed back to the States , as part of a cookbook / memory book made by the women with whom I shared my " military - wife " life . After spending the week in Addis , they will all FOUR of them fly home on Saturday morning , December 2nd ! ! ! In preparation for their departure , a packing monster has taken over my body coupled with its evil twin the shopping monster . Between these two travel demons , there won 't be much that does NOT get purchased or packed ! My mother in law came over to help sort through the growing pile of things on the dining room table . ( I 'd get a picture but the camera lens is not large enough to capture it all ! ! ! ) However , with her help , we have now designated all the outfits that need to be washed and organized . On Monday morning , the plan is to lay out each complete outfit ( include socks , underwear , etc ) and roll / fold them up and tie a ribbon around them to hold them together . This way , Dad will have an easier time locating a complete outfit for each child . ( Note : I will not be rolling his or the Boy 's outfits with ribbon . . . ) Then , I decided on each of the ribbons , to attach a little note for each day for H and inside each rolled outfit a little toy for Baby T , since I won 't be there those first few days with them . I 'll try to get a picture before it gets packed . Any suggestions for baby toys that would be small enough to fit in a rolled up outfit ? Of Passports and Birth CertificatesOn the fifth day of Hidar in the year of 1999 ( according to the Ethiopian calendar ) , the official birth certificates were issued for H and Baby T ! We received a file containing copies of the certificates yesterday ! The certificates are written in both Amharic and English . It sure is strange to see what our names look like spelled out in Amharic . I imagine , it is equally strange for H to see her name in the Roman alphabet ! Either way , in Amharic or English , the papers were just another confirmation that this is real and they are really , really ours ! Holding the papers is good , but holding our children will be oh - so - much better ! And , to top this good news off , we received another update from Anne this morning . She writes : Just wanted to let you know that I went to the passport office with H and Baby T yesterday . Baby T got to wear spiffy tennies - - he looked very cute . He is a very sweet little guy - - and is so loved by the nannies . He makes lots of eye contact , smiles , reaches out , and seems to be doing great . H came into Wanna and was helping to get him ready , tying his shoes , etc . - - she is so nurturing with him , and also with the other babies . She was so cute - - she had barrettes in her hair and looked so excited and proud . She has REALLY gorgeous hair - - oh , my . Loose , beautiful curls - - wow ! B and I are wondering if the barrettes H had in her hair were the ones we sent in her welcome bag ? ! We are getting really close and soon , actually , just in time for Advent , we 'll all be home together ! Amharic LessonI promised I would include some information about the Amharic language . The picture to the right is of Genesis 26 written in Amharic . This information is from Wikipediapia . Ethiopia has eighty - four indigenous languages . Some of these are : AfarAmharicAnfilloBertoBussaHadiyaHarariKonsoOngotaOromoSahoSoddoSilt ' eSomaliTigrinyaEnglish is the most widely spoken foreign language and is taught in all secondary schools . Amharic was the language of primary school instruction , but has been replaced in many areas by local languages such as Oromifa and Tigrinya . Amharic language Not to be confused with the Aramaic language . Spoken in : EthiopiaTotal speakers : 27 million as a first language , between 7 - 15 million more as a second languageLanguage family : Afro - Asiatic Semitic South Semitic Ethiopic South Ethiopic AmharicWriting system : Ge ' ez alphabetOfficial statusOfficial language of : Ethiopia and the following specific regions : Addis Ababa City Council , Afar Region , Amhara Region , Benishangul - Gumaz Region , Dire Dawa Administrative council , Gambela Region , SNNPRAmharic ( አማርኛ āmariññā ) is a Semitic language spoken in North Central Ethiopia by the Amhara . It is the second most spoken Semitic language in the world , after Arabic , and the " official working " language of the Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia and thus has official status and use nationwide . Amharic is also the official or working language of several of the states within the federal system , including Amhara Region , the multi - ethnic Southern Nations , Nationalities , and People 's Region , and Afar Region , despite the latter 's homogeneity . It has been the working language of government , the military , and of the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church throughout modern times . Outside Ethiopia , Amharic is the language of some 2 . 7 million emigrants ( notably in Egypt , Israel and Sweden ) , and is spoken in Eritrea by educated Eritreans of the preindependence generation and younger deportees from Ethiopia . It is written , with some adaptations , with the Ge ' ez alphabPosted by Batten Down the HatchesThe seas are getting stormy around here . Today , in no particular order , I was treated to the following : our three year old , CB , wailing and gnashing her teeth through a doctor 's visit at which she required a breathing treatment and antibiotics for bronchitis . still no update on our travel arrangements - - - I 've heard of " Ethiopia time " but is everyone in America who deals with Ethiopia required to be on it ? Sheesh . our 6 month inspection for our foster care license , where I met our new case worker . my darling two year old , who speaks her own form of broken English , and her three year old sister cheering , " Hooray ! Hooray ! We 've got lipstick ! " This drew my attention for a number of obvious reasons . When I got to where they were , I discovered that the lipstick was actually a purple colored GLUE - stick ! It 's no wonder we don 't hear more about Mrs . Noah on the ark . If she was smart , she grabbed a cup of tea ( or more ) and headed to a quiet spot near the mice and deer and curled up with a good book for most of the trip ! Chicken and BiscuitsLast Sunday night , my whole family was headed out for a leisurely dinner with some very dear friends of ours , D and J and their three sons . We 'd been planning this meal for a number of weeks now ( she promised chicken and mashed potatoes - which my kids love - and asked me to bring some biscuits ) , and even after an extremely long and tiring week , we were looking forward to it . Now , that being said , our families are in and out of each other 's homes ( and lives ) on an almost daily basis - - for better or for worse , in sickness and in health . . . sorry , J , I know you think D and I spend WAY too much time together as it is ! ! ! So , after the aforementioned long week , it was going to take all my effort to pull the pony tail holder out of my hair and put on something other than a " blue suit " ( A , I 'll allow you to elaborate if necessary ) . Needless to say , I was not planning to " dress " for the occasion , and just as a side note , my dear husband made no attempt at persuading me to , other than saying , " Don 't you even want to take a shower ? " So , at the last minute , I threw on a sweater , brushed out my hair and brushed ( I think ) my teeth . We loaded our crew up and headed off for dinner , but when we arrived , with our basket full of still - warm biscuits ; we found this instead : I imagine the look on my face said it all : We walked in to find ( much to the boy 's dismay ) no dinner , but lots of yummy appetizers , a roomful of friends and family and , more importantly , love - - for us , for our family , and for our newest two ark riders . . . H and Baby T - - squeezing out of every nook and cranny of the room ! It was such a special night for our entire family . We received so many beautiful , thoughtful and generous gifts . . . to be the recipient of such generosity humbled us beyond words . ( Okay , well maybe not entirely beyond words . ) Besides all of the amazing gifts for H and Baby T , I think my favorite gift of all was a gift crafted by my . . . always willing to go along with my harebrained schemes , " I 'll try anything once , " carpool partner . . . and lPosted by GratefulThere is a family in our agency , who waited nearly 8 months for the referral of their baby girl . When they received the referral , however , they were just too late to make court before it closed until October . They were assigned to our group and were * scheduled * to have a court date on October 16th , too . As you know , court didn 't happen until November began and then we received embassy dates for later this month . The family decided to travel early to not wait another moment to be with their darling daughter . So , they 're in Ethiopia RIGHT NOW . . . Why am I telling you all this ( especially for those of you who have followed this story , too ) ? I 'm telling you this , because while they are there early to deliberately spend time with their new daughter , they have gone out of their way to A . find and spend time with H and Baby T and B . make the effort to get to an internet connection to upload and send this to us : Outside at Layla House Sitting up ! ! ! She also included this note : I saw Bedlu and Helen briefly early last week . Bedlu is a happy boy - - he looks terrific . His spots are healing up , he 's happy and looks very healthy ! Helen is such a sweet , sweet girl - - you 're going to adore her ( I know you do already . . . ) . She was so helpful to us when we were touring Layla - - so polite , and just so precious . I am so grateful to this family for sharing their precious time with our kids as well as their own whom they waited so long to see . This is really a great testimony to our agency that families who travel help each other out like this . It makes the surreal seem real to see this family , finally , actually in Ethiopia , and it is a light at the end of our own tunnel . Posted by Sale and Travel Update and More PerspectiveFirst , some very good news . . . thanks to some very kind and generous friends ( you all know who you are ! ) our sale has BROKEN the $ 1 , 000 mark ! Thank you all so much ! ! ! I emailed our agency to tell them our results and hope to hear if they know how the money will be spent . I 'll let you know if I hear anything . Second , some not so good news . . . the very sweet woman we were working with to make our travel arrangements suffered a mild heart attack on Friday . The travel office isn 't sure when or if she 'll be back at work . All this time while we were wondering why no one had returned our emails and we weren 't getting any further by making phone calls , her family was probably waiting for news too . Generally speaking we know when we 're traveling , we just don 't have * official * dates or flight numbers yet . The good news is that we can and will get them . As I remarked to my husband , if worst comes to worse , we could by a last minute ticket the day before and just hop a flight to go . It 's just not worth getting all worked up over . Life is too short , and it took a travel agent to remind us . All in the perspectiveB : Mom , my teacher has this book , but her cover looks different . Me : Yes . Your teacher has a newer copy of the book . This cover is different , but the pictures and words are the same inside . Your mom just has an older book because she 's a little bit older than your teacher . B : No , no , Mom . That 's not true . . . Pause for dramatic effectB : You 're A LOT older than my teacher . No Greater LoveWhen putting the flyer together for the Sacrifice Sale , I chose the scripture verse , " No one has greater love than this , to lay down one 's life for one 's friends . " ( Jn 15 : 13 ) It seemed an appropriate way to put in terms children could understand what it was we were asking them to do . Over the last few days , however , I 've come to think that maybe the children really didn 't need all that much of an explanation . As I spoke to children , teachers and parents about Ethiopia and the orphan crisis , I was continually humbled by the people who joined with us in making this sale a huge success , in many , many ways . For example : The fourth grade girl who held her dollar tightly in her hand , picking up and examining many items before her teacher called for the students to line up . She turned to me , looked at the dollar in her hand , and barely whispered , " Here . I just want you to have this . I don 't need any toys . " Sacrifice . The parent who asked , " Hey . How 's the sale going ? " And when I responded with the amount we had raised at that point she shook her head saying , " Oh no , no . That just won 't do . We need to do more . " She wrote out a check on the spot for over one hundred dollars . She took a single bandana to use for her kid 's party games . Sacrifice . The family who delivered a sealed envelope with only the words , " Sacrifice Sale " written in pen on the outside . When the envelope was opened , long after this family was gone , we found inside a brand new one hundred dollar bill - - no name , no note , their good deed known only to God . Sacrifice . The child who carried a ziploc bag filled with 100 pennies he had counted out at his home . Sacrifice . The families whose children brought home toys that chirped , buzzed , squawked , beeped and rang . Sacrifice . The teacher who bought less than 10 items and said , " Everything is just one dollar ? That doesn 't seem like enough . I 'm going to give you a little more . " Then handed over a check for fifty dollars . Did I mention she teaches at a Catholic school ? Sacrifice . The people who stopped to askPosted by In BriefI 'm fighting a little cold and I need to be at school again tomorrow for the sale , but . . . a brief update - - we had already raised approximately $ 230 . 00 when school ended today . We 're hoping to raise even more ! ! ! We also had some donations of socks , underwear and toothbrushes / floss made to take with us . There were also a few families interested in adoption information . So , it seems like so far - - so good ! The sale ends tomorrow night so I hope to have some more news when it ends . Before I turn in , however , I wanted to share this interesting article my brother forwarded to me . It has to do with some changes in international adoption policy according to the Hague Convention . It gives a lot of great information , particularly for people just starting the adoption process or those who might be considering it . That 's it for now . G ' night . Sale Starts Tomorrow ! The " Sacrifice Sale " that our family , along with two other families who have adopted children from Ethiopia and who go to our school , begins tomorrow ! We 're really hoping that this will be a great opportunity in many ways . We hope to raise funds for our agency 's orphanage and also to educate other families about adoption - - specifically in Ethiopia . We want to promote cultural understanding and teach our children about sacrifice . It 's funny , though , how we as adults are quick to think we are always the teachers and our children are always the students . In spite of ourselves , our children manage , on more than one occasion to remind us that they , too , can teach ; and in some cases , the lesson is better taught , when it comes from them . Pray for a successful fundraiser tomorrow and to learn more about sacrifice , stop by and read this story ( told by one of the other families hosting the sale ) for a lesson you won 't soon forget . Scripture Request UpdateThank you for all the various scripture verses for us to ponder . We 're trying to narrow down the list . Here 's what we have so far : " Jesus said , ' Let the little children come to Me . Don 't stop them , because the kingdom of heaven belongs to people who are like these children . ' " - Matthew 19 : 14 " Before I formed you in the womb I knew you , and before your were born I consecrated you ; I appointed you a prophet to the nations . " - Jeremiah 1 : 5 " He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ , according to the good pleasure of his will . . . " - Ephesians 1 : 5 " And if children , then heirs , heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ - - if , in fact , we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him . " - Romans 8 : 17 " . . . So that we might receive adoption as children . And because you are children , God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts crying , " Abba ! Father ! " So that you are no longer a slave but a child , and if a child then also an heir , through God . " - Galatians 4 : 5 - 7 " Let us love one another , for love comes from God . " - 1 John 4 : 7 " May the Lord bless and keep you , may his face shine upon you and be gracious and give you peace . " - Numbers 6 : 24 - 26 A few of these were shared with us in a very special , very surprising way over this weekend , about which I will post later once I can let my words wrap around my thoughts . Thank you everyone for your help and if you have further suggestions - - send them my way ! Inspiration requestedI 'm looking for some assistance . I have gotten into the habit ( okay , maybe it 's more of an obsessive hobby ) of stamping - - thankyouverymuch , AG , my own personal stamp pimp - - our family Christmas card . I 'd also like to do an insert card this year with our adoption announcement on it . I had planned to include the scripture verse from 1 Samuel when Hannah says , " For this child , I prayed . . . " . I really like it , but as I have shared with some of you , my thoughts on this verse have changed somewhat since I first found it . Originally , it seemed like a perfect fit . We had prayed for our adopted child ( as we have for all of our other children ) but now we have TWO adopted children and " For the children , I prayed . . . " Well , it just seems off a bit . That 's the smaller of the issues with the verse , however . As we 've gone through the adoption process and come to a greater , although not yet full I 'm sure , understanding of adoption ; one thing has been really driven home : as great and wonderful as adoption is , especially considering the alternatives in some cases , at the heart of adoption is great loss . Our children will have lost their birth parents , the first family they knew , their homeland , possibly their language and probably more that we haven 't yet realized . We wouldn 't have " prayed " for this for anyone , let alone our own children . So , I 'm looking for a new scripture verse or a way to spin the one we 've chosen to reflect how we really feel . Any suggestions ? Go ahead , I 'm listening . . . What to pack ? We 've been thinking of some very basic things we need to bring as well as leaving room for the items we 're bringing to donate , but after seeing these pictures of Baby T , it seems some " gender appropriate " clothing may be in order ! ! ! Gotta love the pink sleeper covered in little hearts ! Look at his face , he 's just screaming , " Will somebody pleeeease take this off of me ! ! ! " I wonder who his friend is ? A nice picture . First , because our sweet boy is in it , peering up at the camera from the bottom right corner ; and second , because we can see him in relation to some other babies - - it 's hard to guesstimate sizes when he 's the only one in the picture ! Posted by Thank You ! ! ! To all of our family and friends , who overwhelmed us with phone calls , emails and blog comments today ! We are so grateful for all of your support and encouragement . It seems surreal that less than 4 weeks from now we 'll be journeying halfway around the world to bring H and Baby T finally home . My Ethiopian mentor of sorts must not be too far removed from their journey this summer because she hit the nail on the head when she commented , " You 're probably wondering now how to get so much done in such a little amount of time ! " This is so true , but we 're staying the course , and perhaps , as we do you 'll be inclined to hang out just a little bit longer on the ark ( is anyone counting - have we even been on board 40 days yet ? ) and see what happens as we prepare to drop anchor later this month . Tacos for dinnerNot really news of note , but each time I 've called my dear husband today to give updates on our court situation , I apparently make note of this . Sorry , dear . So , I told him on my next blog entry I would mention that we were having tacos for dinner . ( At this point , he 's probably sighing and shaking his head that I actually did just that . ) But , the REAL reason for this subsequent posting today - - - after receiving such good news is to announce that we ALSO have an EMBASSY DATE ! ! ! Our embassy date is on November 29th . The boys need to arrive is Addis no later than November 28th and can depart for home ( what a nice ring that has ) as early as December 1st . If memory serves from other traveling families , they could be home as early as December 2nd ! We always believed we served a God of miracles , now we know for sure . We passed ! ! ! Sorry hon , trying to contact you before blogging this news , but I just couldn 't wait ! We just received word that ALL of the Group A cases passed court today ! Guess we 'd better start packing ! Prayer Request If you are so inclined , a couple of prayer requests : For our court case tomorrow , and for all the other Group A families that court passes smoothly and without a single snag leading to the assignment of Embassy dates and travel dates in the near future ! For the peace talks and growing hostile environment on the Horn of Africa ( where Ethiopia is located ) . The attempt at peace talks failed and the next attempt won 't be until mid - December . There are long - standing issues here - - religious , border disputes , etc . . . to name a few . You can read more about the situation unfolding here . It is so easy to be disconnected from the in - fighting of a few impoverished , ancient nations a continent away until pieces of your heart sit , helplessly , away from you , while the situation deteriorates around them . For these intentions - - - Lord , hear our prayer . From Today 's Gospelfrom John 11 : 17 - 27 When Jesus arrived , he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days . Now Bethany was near Jerusalem , only about two miles away . And many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them about their brother . When Martha heard that Jesus was coming , she went to meet him ; but Mary sat at home . Martha said to Jesus , " Lord , if you had been here , my brother would not have died . But even now I know that whatever you ask of God , God will give you . " Heavenly Father , give comfort to all those in need today . Amen . St . Gianna and GiannaAs it is All Saint 's Day today , it seemed appropriate to mention one of my personal favorite saints . St . Gianna Beretta Molla is , among other things , patron saint for mothers and physicians . She has also interceded in difficult pregnancies ( for those of you who know me well , you can see why she 's a favorite of mine ! ) . Her feast day is April 28th . You can read more about her here and hereHer daughter , Gianna Emanuela , herself a medical doctor , gave the following testimony at Maracana Stadium in Brazil during the Second International Celebration of the Family ( 1997 ) . " Dear Mom , thank you for having given me life two times : when you conceived me and when you permitted me to be born … My life seeks to be the natural continuation of your life , of your joy of living , of your enthusiasm , and it finds its full meaning in the engagement and dedication to whoever lives in suffering . Dear mom , intercede always for all mothers and all families who turn to you and entrust themselves to you . " Reportedly , her words brought tears to the eyes of Pope John Paul II . A few days ago , I stated that the best gift is not the gift at all but the giver . The same holds true for the gift of life , where it 's Giver with a capital " G " . St . Gianna , in her own small , earthly life as mother , lived that belief with heroic understanding . Her committment to living the Gospel , even when self - sacrifice was required , points us ever closer to the heart and mind of Christ . When I happened upon this story , I assumed that Gianna was the name given by the adoptive mother in the story . Instead , I realized , Gianna was the name given by her birth mother . Was this an example of St . Gianna 's intercession - - only God knows , but one thing we know for sure : a great miracle happened in this other Gianna 's life . What is also certain , is that this young Gianna also possesses a heroic understanding of the gift of life and in that , the Giver . This young woman , whose own life bears the daily pains and struggles of her birth mother 's * choice * says , " Can ' Posted by
|
Posted on July 3 , 2013 by imhkcda For as cocky and confident as I am in the water , I know that once we hit dry land , all of those hard core bikers who can barely swim go whizzing past me like I 'm not even moving . It 's true . I 've done studies . Lots of them . Sometimes people tell me they are jealous of my mad swimming capabilities . And I just laugh because , well , I am crazy jealous of their mad biking abilities . It makes wayyyyy more sense to be badass at biking than swimming . It 's a much longer event in any triathlon and you can really make up a lot of time really quickly . Ironman is no different from any other triathlon I 've done . If I had a dollar for every time a biker passed me and said , " hey , nice swim , " I 'd be able to buy a new tri bike to make me go faster . Seriously though , all I can hear in my head is " hey , nice swim … ( too bad you 're not a faster biker ! ) ! True story . So . If there is one thing I have learned from triathlons , it is to swim like heck . And then , be humble ( once out of the water … ) . The bike is where I 've struggled the most . And it is also where I have the least experience . I 've been swimming my whole life and running pretty much since my high school volleyball coach made our whole team sign up for a 5K run ( which was just about the longest 3 miles of my life ) . So whereas I 'd swam 2 . 4 miles nearly a year ago and run 2 marathons previously ( and countless half marathons ) , I only rode 112 miles once . Just a few weeks ago . One of the issues is my lack of skill / ability / confidence on hills . I spent this year training to go UP but never would say I 'm an amazing climber . Just ok . Let 's face it , I trained to go UP , which was hard enough . I didn 't train hard to go up FAST and there is a difference . And going downhill , it takes me some time to build up the confidence on each and every different descent . I rarely descend in the aero bars - I like to have the brakes nearby . I 'm terrified of crashing my bike . And those skinny road tires can be squirrely . So I 'm a chickenshit compared to many others who will just tuck and go , screaming down the hill at 50 + mph . Now , before you go and do the math , you are correct … that is incredibly slow . In my defense , there are a few hills to conquer . Here 's the elevation profile from my test ride a few weeks before the race : Getting out of the water , I felt good . Being out early always makes me feel a little urgent . Frantic . Quick , get out of transition , get out in front of people . Get riding . ( So you can hurry up and be passed ? I know , right ? It has never made any sense to me either . ) The first leg of the bike course runs through town and out along the lake . It 's beautiful and mostly flat and fast and there are a lot of people around - spectators and other bikers . Then , all too soon , you leave town heading south on Highway 95 - away from all of the people and up into the hills . I realized two things pretty quickly . First , I noticed that my aero bottle was no longer velcroed in at all and was jiggling out of its holder with every bump . I held it in , kept moving and tried to decide what to do . The obvious answer is STOP … but this was not necessarily the course of action I was going to pursue immediately until I realized that my Garmin was tracking speed and time , but not distance . That was what made me decide to pull over and stop . I fixed my bottle ( good news , now I didn 't have to hold it for the next 109 miles … like that was even a feasible option ) and fiddled with my bike computer and the little piece that is on my bike spoke to no avail . I jumped back on , not wanting to waste too much more time ( look at all of those people passing me ! though right now I AM actually standing still ) and chose instead to scroll through my Garmin options on the tiny little screen whilst 1 ) travelling 18 - 25 + mph , 2 ) avoiding near certain collisions with other bikers going 24 - 34 + mph 3 ) trying to avoid hitting any spectators foolishly trying to cross the street in front of bikes moving that fast , and 4 ) trying to remember which menu screen would take me to the place where I could check and reset my satellites , etc . I had a quick and easy first 56 mile loop . Much faster than I had ever done it , which was both fantastic and troubling news . Everything I had read going into the race said to take it out easy on the bike . Everyone I talked to said that scorching your bike would never pay off and you would blow up on the run . I was trying to stay positive and in fact , I was loving how quickly I was moving along the course - this was fun ! But in the back of my mind , I had a more than slight concern that I was going to seriously blow up … maybe on that last 2 mile hill at mile 100 . If not then I would definitely blow up on my run . Trouble . As you might know , during an endurance event like Ironman , your body needs replenishing but can only digest between 200 - 300 calories an hour . Get behind and you pay for it when you run out of gas . And you can 't make up for it - take in more than you can digest and you 'll likely end up with GI issues that can haunt you . Nutrition and fueling can definitely make or break you on race day . Aid stations were reliably every 10 miles and were fully stocked with wonderful , helpful , cheerful volunteers , water bottles , bottles of Ironman Perform ( like Gatorade ) , Bonk Breakers , Chomps , Gus , bananas and of course , porta - potties . At each one , volunteers were stretched out in a line , yelling out what goodies they had . You slowed , pointed to the volunteer who had what you wanted and made eye contact , and snatched the goods on your way past . You could also ditch empty bottles and trash at any aid station ( it was an automatic DQ if you purposefully ditched trash anywhere but an aid station ) . The stretch along Hwy 95 is hilly with a 2 mile uphill as you leave town and then mostly rolling mostly uphill until the turnaround . I have done enough training rides along this stretch to know that along with the slightly rolling mostly uphill of this section , you often get some headwinds to go with it to make it a little extra miserable . But we were lucky and the winds were quiet . Honestly , my first loop was uneventful . Each aid station had phenomenal energy and there was enough bike traffic and chatter to keep you distracted . Course officials were patrolling to make sure no one was illegally drafting or blocking but I think their primary concern was with the people vying for cash prizes ( in other words , not me ! ) . Once you hit the turnaround point to head north back into town about 4o miles into the 1st loop , it 's a fast 16 miles back into town . All of those rolling uphills turn into mostly rolling downhills . And the good news is that even though I 'm not the fastest , most confident downhiller , I 've been riding those downhills for long enough to be confident enough to cruise down them . I think I hit 40 mph or pretty darn close on one of them . But there were bigger people cruising right past me . Gravity . After you cruised through downtown , back on the flats again , you headed out to pick up your special needs bag , which held cheeseburger # 2 for me . Mile 65 was a happy one - more than halfway AND time to restock with new and exciting foods . And I got to see some familiar faces . I 've worked with the volunteer captain for the bike special needs bag , Mike , on other non - Ironman things and before the race he told me where he 'd be and had offered to throw my cheeseburger on the grill and warm it up . I didn 't take him up on it as I didn 't want to get " cold " or maybe more importantly , decide to order out for some fries and a milkshake and never get back on the bike . But I did stop long enough to restock my Perpeteum powder and reapply sunscreen on my arms and shoulders and stretch my neck and back . Leaving town again , you could feel the energy leaving the athletes . Everyone knew what was ahead . Hills . No fans . Just the quietness of our minds . It got quieter and quieter until about mile 80 . You could literally feel the ginormous black hole that was swallowing entire athletes whole . Fortunately , I had friends and coworkers at the aid station at mile 90 and I knew that the turnaround was within reach . I stopped for a quick high - five and another porta - potty break . When I was racking my bike , I realized with excitement that my hubby 's bike was on the rack right where I had put mine ! Hooray ! Last hill before town so I 'm feeling pretty good . Just 2 miles and then it 's all downhill . Training on the course was definitely an advantage and one of the major reasons hubby and I chose to do this course over , say , Ironman Canada , which is later in the year and would have given us much more time to train in the nice weather . I was probably the only person smiling on that hill and I 'm only smiling because I had already ridden the entire 112 miles of the course this year and I knew , I just KNEW that if I had made it this far , I would make it up this one last stinkin ' hill for the last time . That is , till I catch up to my hubby , a third of the way up the hill . He 's cramping and jumping off his bike to stretch his leg . Poop . I can 't stop or else I will never get going again so I blow him a kiss , cross my fingers the cramp goes away and keep churning my legs . I counted to 100 . Five times . One count every other leg . One count every third leg . Again , every leg . One . Two . Three . Four . Five … Ninety - nine . One - Hundred . One . Two . Three . Four . Thirty - seven . Thirty - eight . Seventy - one . Over and over and over again . Just to get my brain off the hill and off of worrying about hubby . At least until the top of the hill … I make it and turn around to find that my hubby had jumped back on his bike again and had staved off the cramps at least long enough to make it up the hill . Talking with him for a few miles , I learn his nutrition had been a wreck since his watch died less than 2 hours into the bike . He had trained with the watch set to beep every 20 and 40 minutes , reminding him to eat and drink . Without a watch , he was floundering from the get - go , trying to gauge distance and time without a watch . He will tell you that he got some funny looks - in a world of Type A athletes who are trying to control every piece of the race day they can to have a successful finish , he was probably one of maybe 2 or 3 athletes who didn 't have a watch . I 'm sure they were wondering what his deal was … Anyway , we decide about 5 miles out to start the run together and go from there . It was no our initial plan to stay together but it seemed to make sense to keep each other company for a while . So down the hills into town . As we come into transition , our family and friends are cheering for him - it 's like a homecoming parade . It was actually really comical . They weren 't expecting to see me right behind him so he 's soaking it all in and I 'm like , " Hey guys , I 'm here too ! " Eventually they saw me … Posted on July 3 , 2013 by imhkcda This year 's Ironman CdA had a new swim start - called their Swim Smart initiative . You 've probably seen photos of Ironman 's mass swim starts where there is a mssive wave of people running into the water simultaneously where they then proceed to duke it out , arms , legs , elbows , feet , and fists for a rowdy , aggressive and potentially dangerous 2 . 4 miles . Some people think this start is most epic . From a spectator 's point of view , I would definitely agree . But let me tell you , I could not have been more relieved to learn about the revised start . And I say this as one 2318 athletes who started the race and as someone who is NOT afraid of long swims in open , chilly water ( most days ) . And I say this as a strong swimmer who has mixed it up with the boys in numerous race day swim starts and swim drills and mass start practices . But I also say this as one of just 636 females who signed up to compete in IMCDA this year . Just look at these pictures and look at how many pinks caps you see … And what do we know about boys ? ( Besides that they are bigger than me ? ) Boys are mean and aggressive . To each other , yes , certainly . No guy I know likes to be beat . Now , put a pink cap on and go swim with the boys . They 're fine with it , really . They 'll play nice - they want to pat you on the head and console you that the swim is not going to be that scary and the water isn 't that dark and you 'll be just fine . Cute little girl . That is until you start swimming past them . And that means I beat A LOT of guys , some of whom got downright nasty when they realized it was a girl passing them . Grabbing , pulling and generally trying to swim over me . Some of it was probably an accident - absolutely , it comes with the territory of open water swims . But I have a hunch there were more than a few non - accidents . A handful of times , I did have to be more aggressive and take wider strokes to literally push people off of me . Anyway , I should back up . The new swim start went smoothly - no one knew quite what to expect , only that athletes were to " self - seed " like in a marathon . So each person would have 17 hours from the time they crossed into the water to finish the race . Volunteers held signs - 60 minutes , 1 : 00 - 1 : 15 , 1 : 15 - 1 : 30 , 1 : 31 - 1 : 45 , etc . Hubby and I had agreed to start the swim together and thought we 'd seed ourselves at the front of the 1 : 15 - 1 : 30 mark . We had both swam the Coeur d ' Alene Crossing last August , a 2 . 4 mile swim across the lake so we had a good idea of what our times might be . We figured I might be just a smidge faster than 1 : 15 and he might be around 1 : 20 so this seemed like a good plan . Not knowing what to expect from the swim conditions and crowds , I had honestly told myself that as long as I was on the bike by 9 a . m . I would be " fine " ( i . e . I would still probably make the cut offs throughout the rest of the day ) . For those of you who don 't know , the swim cut off for the 2 . 4 miles is 2 hours and 20 minutes . We were both confident that , excluding any extenuating circumstances ( like getting hard - core kicked in the face and needing stitches or drowning ) , we 'd be comfortably under that mark . I found hubby on the beach near the warm up area and he had some pretty bad news ( already ) . Someone had stepped on his watch and he hadn 't realized it until he got to the beach . The screen was cracked and neither of us thought it would make it through the swim , let alone the rest of the day . He didn 't feel like he had enough time to swim upstream to drop it off at his bike ( at this point transition was closed anyways ) , so he was just going to have to keep his fingers crossed it would survive the swim and keep functioning throughout the day . ( This was on top of the fact that he was competing with a broken wrist - an injury he had picked up just 16 days before race day when he took a tumble off his bike during a taper ride . ) The watch issue would prove to be a really major complication and hurdle for him throughout the day ( but more on that later ) . We each took our turns " warming up " . The worst part of open water swims for me is often that initial shock of getting into the cold water and I find myself spending the first 500 - 600 yards slowing down my breathing and adjusting to the cold , especially as it hits the back of my neck . So my warm ups , including for IMCDA really only consist of putting my face and neck in the water and floating face down in the water for a minute , focusing on keeping my breath outwards slow and steady and calm . After I got out , we had a few minutes to hold hands and stand , in silence , surrounded by hundreds of others dressed in black neoprene wetsuits , inching up towards the start line as the people in front of us crossed the starting line and entered the water . When we got close , we kissed each other and wished each other good luck . And for some reason , my eyes welled up with tears . I 'm really not even sure why . It was just one of many somewhat overwhelming moments where I realized how much we 'd been through and sacrificed and put ourselves through to get to that point and perhaps realized that * * it was about to get real and maybe also had a feeling about how much we both might endure throughout the next 13 or 14 or 15 or 16 or ( hopefully not ) 17 hours . I looked at hubby and he seemed a little overwhelmed too . I wiped the stray tears from my eyes ( so as not to fog my goggles ! ) , gave him another kiss and we were off ! I fought the crowds for the first half of the first loop and had some close encounters with fists , elbows and people trying to swim over me or pull me down . Right before we started , I heard Mike Reilly , the announcer , say that the left and right sides seemed crowded but the middle looked pretty open , so I decided to stay somewhere in the middle . I tried to stay wide on the turns as those get sloppy in any race . After the 2nd turn , heading back into the beach , I noticed the sun was out and traffic seemed to clear up a bit so it was cruising time . I 've already spilled the beans about my time - I was out of the water and running across the halfway timing mat on the beach just under 35 minutes with a dozen or so people . I heard my name as I passed over the mat and dove back into the fray for round 2 . The first part of the second lap was clear , but then all of a sudden we hit of all of the 1 : 45ers and 2 : 00 + ers who had gotten in the water behind us . A few times , there was just a wall of people and no clear path through . I took more than one little detour just to get around the slower crowds of people . The rest of the transition was pretty smooth , thanks in part to the dry run we had done when we dropped off bags and in part thanks to the volunteers . I found the change tent and ventured in . It was still fairly quiet , not too crowded yet and people seemed in good spirits . No crazy negative war stories . So I found a chair easily and a volunteer came right over to help me with whatever I needed . I was pretty low maintenance though . I opted to leave my jacket and sleeves behind , so all I needed was some chamois cream , my socks and bike shoes , my race bib , and my helmet and sunglasses and I was on my way in what felt like a jiffy ( but was really more like 9 minutes … ) ! Posted on June 28 , 2013 by imhkcda On the Friday before the race we had a really fun surprise . Just as we were getting ready to leave the house , the doorbell rang . My mom darted for the door and up the stairs ran my brother 's boxer Charlie , followed by my brother and my dad ! They had driven through the night all the way from Colorado to support us . It was an amazing surprise - I couldn 't have been happier to see them ! Check - in was on Thursday and Friday from 10 - 4 p . m . I had to work Thursday , so we went right after my brother and Dad arrived Friday morning , early - ish . The check - in is in the midst of a giant outdoor expo . Tons of vendors hucking everything and anything from race day wheels to compression socks to energy drinks to finisher shadow boxes to display your medal , photos and engraved time . And of course , the Ironman store selling everything M - dot and all of the event - related gear . We headed straight to the check - in , not wanting to get distracted by all of the shiny things ( yet ) or have to check in with our arms full of purchases . The line was fairly long , but it was a relatively smooth process . If I heard any complaint it was that it was a crowded tent . But I would guess that all of the rain had forced them to move the entire thing inside versus what I think their original plan of doing some things outside of the tent might have been . First , you verified emergency contact information and signed the event waivers and medical release data . Then you showed your USAT card and ID to get your race packet - swim cap ( neon pink for the girls and neon green for the guys ) , race bibs and stickers for the bike , last minute athlete instructions , and your Ironman race weekend bracelet . And last , we received a nice Ironman Coeur d ' Alene triathlon backpack , which had all of our transition bags that we would need to pack and bring back when we checked our bikes on Saturday and the special needs and morning clothes bags we would need to bring on race morning . After you had all of that in - hand , you were funneled out into the Ironman store to spend to your heart 's content on clothes , hats , stickers , mugs , etc . After all , you need these things to do the bragging for you about a very big deal race and what might be a one - time event . Right ? Totally . We shopped and then jumped in the lake for a quick 20 minute swim . Because of the rain nearly continuous rain over the 4 days leading up to the race , the water temp had dropped from around 65 to 61 . Despite that , it was tolerable and we were thankful that we are locals and had been in the lake since May when it was in the mid 50s . And while you might think you can 't tell the difference between 65 degree water and 61 degree water , you 'd be wrong … Before we left , we reviewed the map of where everything would be on race day and walked from the swim exit to the rows and rows and rows of bike gear bags , found ours ( even though there would be volunteers to help ) , then walked to the change tents , then to our bikes , noting how far down we had to go . Fortunately , my row had a big tree right in the middle of it and hubby 's had an orange hazard cone right next to it to keep folks from tripping on a manhole cover , so we weren 't too hard to find . And then we walked from the bike rack to the run gear to the change tent to the exit . Walking it definitely helped me visualize how race day would go and made my transition smoother , less panicky and overwhelming and easier to remember on race day . The 1st thing your friends ask you when they see you is " How is the training going ? " Because a ) they are excited for you ; b ) they never see you and c ) they don 't know what else it is you do these days . And frankly , you don 't either . Spring training doesn 't mean baseball , hot dogs and sunshine . It means windbreakers , rain jackets , and beanies and gloves on the bike . And dark ominous clouds and threatening raindrops on the horizon . Posted on March 29 , 2013 by imhkcda Last summer , the last triathlon of the year , we were super late on race morning . We had a drive ahead of us and we forgot to get gas the night before . I had a work event that kept us out late the night before and we were in a hotel . It was morning before we realized we had forgotten we would need to grab breakfast . Oh , and have I mentioned before that I am not a morning person ? It was the most unprepared I have ever been for any race . We barely made it in time and when we did finally arrive , we had registration issues to resolve ( of course ! ) , and a timing guy to track down , not to mention getting ready for the actual race . We scrambled to find space to throw our bikes and could hear the race director giving the last minute instructions as we threw all of our gear on the ground and were shimmying into our wetsuits and we ran to the start line and pulling on our swim caps and goggles at the very very last second . The race went surprisingly ok … but those were , by far , the worst transitions I have EVER had . And hopefully the worst I will ever have again . What is the point of this story , you ask ? Well , the other night I had a dream . An Ironman dream . About race morning , to be more specific . And in my dream , I was horribly HORRIBLY unprepared . I didn 't know where to rack my bike . I didn 't know what to check in . I couldn 't find my race number . I didn 't know where the course went . I was TOTALLY unprepared . Dream analyze that … ! You don 't need to be a psychologist . I woke up with the most AWFUL sinking feeling in my gut . It took me all morning to shake it . Truly . Suffice it to say , I think that right now , in Week 12 ( already ! ) , I 'm feeling just a little behind the 8 ball . I know people who are consistently riding 5 hours at a time and I 'm just getting up to 3 : 30 . People are talking about doing century rides and running marathons and I 'm just now up to a half marathon distance . I still need to dial in my gear - what I 'm going to bike in and run in . How I 'm going to stay warm in water that will very likely be in the low 60s . Ugh . Its hard not to feel behind . Its hard not to doubt . I guess the good news here is that I have time . Twelve more weeks to get up to speed on the course , the rules , how the day might go , what could go wrong ( and what could go right ! ) , to test the gear , do trial runs , to put in the work and have faith that my efforts will get me there . And race morning chaos ? Well . I guess I have 12 weeks to plan for that too ! Posted on February 22 , 2013 by imhkcda When you 're training for Ironman , your time disappears . Quickly . You have a calendar , a tight schedule that walks you step by step by step by week by week by week towards what you hope will be those final steps that find you crossing a finish line and hearing those magical words " You are an Ironman " . At first it seems insurmountable . All the free time you had before is suddenly gone and then some . And then , as you go along day after day , it seems doable . Step by step . Giving up evenings and lunches and sleeping and hanging with friends seems ok . Letting the dishes sit for one more day is ok . And you get used to it . For a while . But then you feel guilty for skipping friends . Taking days to return phone calls to family because you 're too busy working and working out . Putting off laundry yet another day becomes impossible . Blogging about your time ( as you can see from the date of my last entry ) falls to the bottom of the list . And here we are . Seven weeks in and things have started to fray . Ever so slightly at first . Skipping a workout to see a friend , grabbing a drink here and there . Missing a lunchtime workout because work won 't allow for sneaking away . It 's subtle . Work picks up and a few lunch workouts disappear . But sticking to evenings and throwing in an early morning ( dang near impossible for an staunchly non - morning person like myself ) every once in a while makes it possible to cover up those misses . But then ? Piled on top of that , we had a trip planned to visit family for 5 days last week … An active 5 days , but still only 1 " official " workout . Here 's the thing about falling off the wagon - once you fall off , getting back on can be a little tricky . Time keeps right on a - tickin ' and the wagon keeps on a - rollin ' . It can be hard to get back in the swing of things . So this week , as I was catching up with work that piled while I was gone , there were a few more missed workouts this week . And this weekend , we 'll be out of town again for a birthday celebration ( cake and very possibly , no workouts ) . And whaddaya know , I 'm feeling guilty about it . Even though before this little stint , I regularly hit 7 or 8 workouts a week and this week , I 'll still get in a solid 5 workouts . I 'll feel guilty for missing one or two . When you get used to 2 workouts a day , its easy to feel that a 1 - workout day or a rest day is total slackertown . But seriously , don 't fall into that trap . First of all , one workout a day is more than many people can manage on a normal day . And second of all , slackertown is totally an alright place to visit , just don 't become the mayor . Enjoy your time there - rest days are so important . And maybe more importantly , the mental rest days are priceless . So tonight I got my nearly 3 hour bike ride in on my trainer ( ick ) and tomorrow , I will enjoy the birthday version of slackertown , complete with indulgent foods , some cake , and even a skipped workout or two . But I 'll be back and rested and ready to take on Week 8 ( gulp ! ) with a vengeance ! Posted on August 30 , 2012 by imhkcda This past weekend was the last tri of the season for me ( at least as far as I know … ) . It was an Olympic distance and it went , well , it went alright . It was a new PR for me , but I found myself less than pleased with it - it was barely a PR . But breaking down my splits , it didn 't add up - my swim time was just a minute or two slower than what I 've been averaging this season . Actually slightly slower than I 'd like to be , but I need to push myself more on the swim instead of cruising … another topic for another day . My bike was a full 7 minutes faster than my last Olympic distance back in July , and my time for the 10K run was almost dead even with my last Olympic distance race . So . By all logic , I should have hit a new PR by at least 5 minutes and yet … I had only broken my PR by about a minute . What gives ? Ah , darn transitions . The thing I don 't ever train for … Killed me this time ! We had been running late the morning of the race . Really late . And when we got there , we had to pick up packets , only to find out that my hubby 's registration didn 't go through so we had to straighten that out , track down the guy running the timing for the day and set up our transitions , get all wetsuited up and get down to the beach in time for the start . Whew . It was close . Needless to say , I was so rushed that I didn 't pay any attention to where we had stashed our bikes ( racks weren 't labeled by numbers , it was a free for all ) . And I had hurriedly pulled all of my stuff out , not really in any sensible way . Boy did I pay for it . My transitions were all out of whack , especially T1 . And that 's what cost me my opportunity to smash my PR . Silly transitions . Ah , well . That 's the joy of racing , right ? Anything can happen . Frankly , I 'm not going to be practicing my transitions any time soon . And I suppose I 'll take rocky transitions over cramps or a flat tire any day . But next time I think I 'll make it a point to be there just a little earlier . Even if it means this " s0 not a morning person " needs to get up just a smidge earlier . Immediately after the Olympic tri , we headed out for a long backpacking trip . The backpacking trip tied into ' taper week ' - does hiking with a 40 pound pack up to 13 miles a day count as tapering ? Funny , it didn 't feel like I was training . At least not the race - specific training that I 'd been so focused on for the past 19 weeks . But it 's not like I was sitting on a beach , reading . And I will fully admit that it was nice to do something that was active that wasn 't swimming , biking or running . The change of scenery was good too . Plus , it 's always nice to be out in the middle of nowhere where no one can reach you by cell phone or email or even the pony express . First , I will say this - from the get - go , I wasn 't entirely impressed with the race . It didn 't strike me as being very well organized and I didn 't get the impression that it was going to be very well supported . The shirt we got for doing the race was a baby blue sweatshirt , which my hubby was none too thrilled about … I will never understand why race directors don 't default to more gender - neutral shirts . As the race day progressed , I found more reasons to be unimpressed . For example , there were bathrooms and portapotties at the start . But throughout the course , options were woefully slim - just 1 portapotty on the bike ( 56 miles ) and 1 portapotty on the run ( 13 . 1 miles ) . A learning experience , I suppose - we wanted to save a little money by doing a non - WTC , non - Ironman brand event , which I think in many cases is fine especially if the race is well - established and there are a decent number of athletes participating . However , this was a good example of getting what you pay for … The swim was alright - nothing too notable here . The turnaround was not the halfway point , it was earlier , so the second half really seemed to drag . The waters were real murky and there were FORESTS of milfoil growing … every once in a while , some would catch my hand or ankle and kind of make me recoil a bit , but knowing what was touching me helped the jumpiness . A little . But I was in and out without incidence . By the time we jumped on the bike , it was probably 80 degrees and climbing . Too hot too early . I knew temperature was going to be an issue and combined with my lack of faith in the level of race support , I was pretty concerned with having enough water to survive , let alone thrive . We 'd heard that we should plan to carry at least 90 minutes worth . To ease my concern , we purchased extra bottle holders so that we could each carry multiple water bottles . We sent out with 2 - 21 oz bottles + 1 24 oz aero bar bottle - 1 bottle loaded with frozen Hammer Perpetuem ( a 3 hour bottle ) and one of the water bottles was frozen the night before as well . The aero bottle was loaded with ice only the morning of the race and filled at the first aid station 12 miles into the bike . It was a long , hot , lonely bike course and as I suspected , not well supported . It was good that we had driven the course in advance as they did not have volunteers at each turn - only some of the course turns , so you had to be paying attention . At the turns were there were volunteers stationed , many of them were sitting in their cars , just tiredly waving their hand out the window . Who knows if most of the racers even saw them . I 'm usually very appreciative of volunteers and I try to always thank as many as I can , but yesterday I remember thinking at one point , " Really ? I 'm out here biking 56 miles in the heat and you can 't even stand outside your car to make sure I go the right way ? Just go home . " I did a good job of hydrating - drank 1 / 3 of the 3 hour Perpeteum bottle and had Gus / Gels every 45 minutes . I also tried to drink enough water as well . I filled my aero bottle 2x on the course , but also finished with quite a bit . No cramps or fuel issues . Just mental stuff that had a lot to do with the fact that the course was so lonely . I 'll fully confess that I 'm not the strongest biker . I have a lot of work to do on that front before Ironman next year . But I also wouldn 't consider myself to be a bad or poor biker necessarily , usually just middle of the pack … At one point in the race , I looked behind me and there was NO ONE . And I looked in front of me : NO ONE . And I thought , " holy crap , I 'm going to be the LAST PERSON OFF THE BIKE ! " How awful and depressing . It was totally demoralizing . Honestly , I lost some time off of it . I mean , I tried to laugh it off a little , thinking " well , someone 's gotta be the last person " . I tried to use it as inspiration . But honestly , I didn 't think it should or would be me ! I didn 't see anyone for a good 15 or 20 miles , from about mile marker 30 to mile marker 45 or 50 when I FINALLY found the bathroom . Being concerned about the water situation , I had hydrated - up the day before the race and the morning of the race . So even though I used the restroom before the swim , I had to go again by the time I hit 8 miles on my bike . Oy . I kept my eyes peeled for a portapotty , but none came . Mile after mile , came and went and NO PORTAPOTTY . I considered a pit stop along the side of the road , but it was lined with , well , a road ( it was not a closed course ) , and also private property . I have heard that some triathletes just pee on themselves and wash it off , but I couldn 't quite bring myself to do that either . I tried , 30 miles an hour , down a hill , not moving my legs and just trying to focus on peeing … couldn 't do it . I have never been so happy to see a portapotty as I was to see that one after 45 miles of holding all that water ! Yikes ! Aside from all of that - being lonely and having to pee SO bad , the bike course was mechanically frustrating for me - I dropped my chain half a dozen times , something that used to happen a lot , but hasn 't happened to me ALL year . It was ridiculous . And SO frustrating . Did I mention that ? The bike is my weakest link , so I was relieved to get off the bike ( as I always am ) and ( finally ) see people again ! But by this point , it was 92 or 95 or 100 degrees out , depending on who you asked . And almost immediately , you could see the impact the heat was having on people . Fortunately , the one thing the race directors did right was to have an aid station almost every mile along the run . And they were well stocked with water , ice , spots drink , electrolyte tablets , and gels . I 'm not sure I would 've survived without all of the aid stations , honestly . Or at least I would 've had to have walked the entire thing , which would have stunk . I wasn 't necessarily moving that slowly on the run , but I stopped at every aid station to dump water on my head and back , and refill my water bottle with ice and water which is time consuming over the course of 11 or 12 aid stations . I was able to run 95 % of the course , but the heat definitely threw a monkey wrench into all of my plans for beating my previous time , even if by just barely . At the end of the day , I crossed the finish line running and feeling relatively good . Relieved to be done . The entire ordeal took about 7 minutes longer than last time , but I know that the heat on the run course had everything to do with that . It could have been a lot worse . I was happy to have avoided cramping , bonking , crashing , and DNFing so I 'll chalk it up to a success along the road to the Ironman . Share this : ShareShare on Facebook ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Twitter ( Opens in new window ) Click to email ( Opens in new window ) Click to share on Google + ( Opens in new window ) Like this : Like Loading . . . Posted in Race recaps , remember last time ? Tagged 70 . 3 , Biking , Ironman , race results , Triathlon , weekend warrior Leave a comment Posted on July 22 , 2012 by imhkcda Today was the first Olympic distance triathlon of the season for me ( . 93 mile swim , 24 . 8 mile bike and a 10k run ) - it 's a little late in the training program ( I think technically it was supposed to be last week or the week before to fit ' perfectly ' , but c ' est la vie ! ) I 've covered the distances in training , obviously , but today was truth time . So , confession time . What did we learn ? How did it go ? 1 ) First and foremost , I must confess that I was not really excited about this race . My hubby was also supposed to do the race and he had to work so I was on my own and I was really tempted to bail on the race also . It was a 3 + hour drive away and an overnight stay because there was no packet pickup this morning . In some sense of the word , it was a victory for me that I even showed up ! 2 ) The swim was pretty rough , choppy and at times almost violent , which is NOT something I remember from this race last time . I puzzled over this throughout the rest of the race - I think it may have something to do with the fact that I 've aged up to the next age group . Last time I did the race , I was 29 - in the first wave of the Olympic distance with only the half ironman - ers in front by about 15 minutes . This year , at the ripe old age of 31 , I had to wait for everyone in the half - iron group ( still well ahead of us , but I did pass a few struggling stragglers towards the end of the . 93 miles ) AND I had all of my wave PLUS the first wave to fight through . The water was choppy . People were all over the place and there was seemingly no end to watching out for feet , elbows and fists . This is not something that I snobby ex - pool - only swimmer likes to see . Whether being in a different age group made the different or not , I added a couple - 2 or 3 - minutes to my swim time from 2010 , which I was bummed about because , ironically , I 've been swimming a heck of a lot more this year than back then . Confession : I was / am ( ? ) a little concerned that I 've been swimming and somehow gotten s - l - o - w - e - r . 3 ) As you may have gathered from # 2 , I 'm a front of the middle pack or maybe back to middle of of the front pack swimmer , depending on the crowd . What 's the confession here ? It 's this : the benefit of being good in the water is not really not a benefit at all - you get to hop on your bike early and be passed by people who say well - intentioned but ultimately funny and demoralizing things like " Good swim … " and leave the " too bad you 're not a better biker " hanging in the air . I know , I think so too . I even heard a guy in the water before the start talking about how he never worked on his swim because he just didn 't see it as an advantage . Now now . You may blow by me in a few minutes , but I 'll put money on the fact that I 'm probably less frazzled and winded from the first leg . But I digress . 4 ) Ok , this is maybe the confession that concerns me the most with a 70 . 3 looming : Sadly , my climbers are not what they should be on the bike . Biking is definitely my weakest link and while I 'm slowlybecoming a better biker with time and practice , I find I don 't push myself as hard as I do when I 'm running or swimming . I think it has to do with the fact that I associate biking with casual rides around the neighborhood as a kid . You know , relaxed . Carefree . Not grimacing , sweating , legs and lungs burning kind of biking . Nothing quite like race day to make you put the pedal to the metal , really push yourself to try to compete with the fools that are flying past you like you 're standing still ( even though your bike computer insists you 're moving at what you feel is a respectable clip ) . Fortunately for me , today 's course was rolly , but not hilly . Twenty - five miles of really pushing it and I 'd be lying if I didn 't say I was a little concerned about how well I 'd hold up and how much gas I 'd have when I hit the run . Plus , my knees have been hurting on higher cadence rides and I definitely noticed it today when I climbed off . But fortunately once I was on the ground it went away . ( Note to self - probably oughta get that straightened out , wouldn 't you say ? ) 5 ) I forced myself to eat and fuel all day . Forced is the operative word here . I hate eating in the morning , but I had a banana and a bar and a bunch of water before I swam , three gels on the bike and one on the run . Lots and lots and lots of water . Other than the gross queasy feeling I had before the swim ( which could definitely be attributed to the fact that my stomach deemed it too early to be accepting food and also to the fact that I was ready to just get this thing going already ) , and a brief moment around mile 18 on the bike where my stomach reminded me how hard it is to digest folded over bike handlebars ( I spent a few minutes sitting upright ) , I felt good . Hm . No confession here , I suppose . 6 ) Last time I did this race , I thought I was going to die of heat exhaustion . I 'm not gonna lie - this was really a big concern of mine for this year as well . To combat this , even though I really didn 't want to , I carried a water bottle with me and every water stop ( there were 4 or 5 , I believe ) , a cup of water went on my head and neck and I drank or filled my bottle with the other . In between stops , I made sure I was keeping my head cool and drinking a lot . I felt a lot better about the run this year than I did last time , that 's for sure . And I think I was able to shave a few seconds off of my last run time for the course as well . 7 ) Lastly , triathlons continually remind me to be humble . I try to be supportive , talk it up on the race course and encourage people . But in every race there is someone , maybe a few someones who ( in a moment of judgy - ness or jealousy or poor sportsmanship or whatever you want to call it ) " have no business being in front of me " . I 'm not proud of it . Yet , there they are . And they 're there , in front of you for a reason . Maybe they 've put in more work . Maybe they 're more determined because they 've seen more adversity and overcome more so they 're stronger . Maybe this is their life 's dream and for you its simply a training run . Maybe they are there to motivate you to stick with it or kick it in at the end . Still others may be there to remind you to be gracious and thankful for the skills and abilities you have . Or maybe they 're there to remind you to be inspired by the people around you . Today , around mile 5 , maybe closer to 5 1 / 2 , a gentleman who I knew had been with me for a while finally picked up his pace , ran up beside me and said " Hello , how are you doing ? " I said " I " m great , beautiful day " or something to that extent . He smiled , commented on what a nice pace I have ( he should know , he 'd been hanging out in it for a while ) , and then sped off , beating me to the finish line by more than a handful of seconds . And as he ran off , I noticed the numbers on his calf read : 6 - 8 . Man . Sixty - eight years old and still rockin ' . I just smiled and shook my head , I picked up my pace but I wasn 't going to catch him . Mr . 68 , you are my hero for the day . You reminded me to smile and be happy with the day and to be inspired by the journey that others are on . I can only hope that 37 years from now I 'm still able to do this with a smile on my face . Posted on July 12 , 2012 by imhkcda I have such a love - hate relationship with July . And mid to late summer events , for that matter . There 's no doubt that the start of actual summer - like weather makes training and triathlons easier in a lot of ways . It 's a pretty safe bet that from now until October , I will probably not have to worry about planning a training workout around rain or otherwise foul weather ( I did say probably … ) . Here in the Inland Northwest , we generally have 2 - 4 weeks of really , truly HOT weather . The number of times we break 100 degrees can usually be counted on one hand . But our hot weather has come early this year - a week ago , we jumped straight from 70 to 95 in a matter of two days and haven 't dipped below the mid 90s since . Not that I should complain . I 've been more than ready for sunshine and blue skies for MONTHS . But I digress . Most reasonable people spend these scorching days submerged in water - floating lazily in an inner tube down one of our rivers or on one of the many lakes . Me , I have the distinct ( mis ? ) fortune of being in the midst of training for a summertime 70 . 3 Those of you doing the same or something similar know that when these hot days come , we must spend the time acclimating ourselves . Because lord knows , come race day , it 'll be 95 degrees out and we 'll have no choice but to deal with it . Better to give our bodies the chance to get used to it . Saturday was a scorcher and that is an understatement . Seriously . And from 10 a . m . to 1 : 30 p . m . I was out in it . During the nearly 3 hours I spent on the bike , I was thankful that I had remembered to apply sunscreen on my arms and face . But I still got a mild sunburn on the side of my thighs , adding to my rockin ' bike shorts tan lines . Note to self : remember to apply sunscreen before the race and stash at transition area for " just in case " . I 'm working on fine tuning my on - the - bike nutrition and always have to make a conscious effort to eat , eat , eat when I 'm on the bike . Note to self : make sure that whatever you bring to refuel is tolerable when it 's warmed up ! Some gels are really pretty gross when they 're warmed to 90 degrees … but some are ok - apple cinnamon flavored Hammer Gels taste like warm apple pie ! And espresso flavored GUs also seem pretty normal at 90 degrees … I guess because coffee is often served warm so the temperature matches the flavor . Or something . And then of course there 's the issue of hydration . As you all know , the hotter it is , the more you sweat , the more you need to replenish - both fluids and electrolytes . On hot training days , I really have to make sure I 'm carrying enough water . Or that I have a plan for refilling often enough . I drink quite a bit cause I 'm a big sweater … so I need to have quite a bit of water on hand or a lot of planned water stops . The problem with carrying it all is , of course , making sure you have enough water bottle holders on your bike ( or you could carry a Camelbak or some sort of hydration pack ) and also that the water will heat up the longer that you 're out . The other day when I was out , I was definitely drinking really warm water , which makes me not really want to drink it . Race day is generally a different story with water stations , but it 's definitely something to think about . Note to self - try this : freeze some water bottles the night before the race . Stash them at transition and pull them out at T1 and T2 ( depending on how hot and how long the race is ) . And also , find some better insulated water bottles . Pronto . Post bike / post run , basically as soon as I stopped moving , sweat just poured off of me . How the heck was I going to cool down ? The last late July race I did , I jumped back into the lake following the run and sat until I could get my core temperature back to normal . Fortunately , there was a river alongside the trail I was riding and running on , so immediately after I finished running , off came the shoes , the tunes and the sunglasses and into the river I went . I sat and I floated and I cooled off . No better way in the world to do it . Note to self : pack a cooler with a post workout water bottle ! And only work out near cool rivers and lakes ! Just a few things to think about … after this weekend and also after today 's toasty midday run , I 'm reminded that hydration issues can definitely derail my race day . So as much as I 'd prefer to skip the midday 90 + degree workouts , practicing and adjusting my race day strategies and hydration has to be part of the training plan . For a few more weeks , anyway . Do you have any special tricks for dealing with the summer heat ? Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :
|
I don 't know if it 's the weather , but yesterday was the strangest day . Well , maybe not the strangest . . . but definitely off . There were lots of strange factors : my waking up 45 minutes before my alarm , unable to go back to sleep ; Miranda 's and my getting caught in a sudden downpour on our morning walk ; my eyelids feeling so heavy I almost nodded off fifteen minutes into my work day , just to name a few . The main thing I need to mention , though , is somewhat of an ongoing problem for this Spinster . What is it , you may ask . Well , it 's the vending machine at my apartment complex . During lunch most days , I try to come home and take my best friend , Miranda , for a little walk . She likes to trot around the property and visit her friends in the leasing office . Yesterday , though , with the heaviest eyelids I 've had since I snored during a foot massage , I knew I 'd need to make a stop at the vending machine at my apartment complex . This machine is a Pepsi machine , which I do not prefer , but it 'll do in a pinch . My choices are ranked as follows : Dr . Pepper , Mountain Dew , and Pepsi in last place . I don 't even have any interest in the rest of the machine 's contents . I just needed some caffein . I dropped my eighty - five cents into the coin slot as Miranda looked on , and I proceeded to press the Mountain Dew button . Nothing happened , so I tried Dr . Pepper . Still nothing happened , so I cringed and pressed the regular Pepsi button . I heard the bump , bump , thump of a can coming down the shoot , and I thought to myself , " well , it 's better than nothing . " Pretty soon I 'd be caffeinated and ready to go back to work . I leaned down to retrieve my prize , anticipating the ice cold energy coming my way , and what did I receive ? A caffein - free grape soda . Grape soda ? Come on , vending machine ! Out of sheer desperation , I drank the grape soda anyway . Yes , it did taste like carbonated cough syrup , but I needed a pick - me - up , and at least it had sugar . Until that vending machine and I meet again , it is officially my nemesis . Take note , vending machine ! The Spinster will strike when you least expect it ! Last week I discovered I 'd come to the end of all the episodes of Bob 's Burgers on Netflix , and I was pretty upset . This , of course , led me to finally hunkering down to watch House of Cards at my parents ' ( and everyone else 's ) suggestion . When I first tried to watch House of Cards , I couldn 't make it through the first episode . There 's a lot of quiet talking in that show , and when I watch TV , generally I 'm also doing something else , so I thought it wouldn 't be a fit for my spinster lifestyle . What I didn 't know , though , was that with each episode there 's more and more drama , and it becomes more and more riveting . I 'm only in the very beginning of the second season , but already I can tell why everyone is so obsessed . After keeping the babies in the nursery , having a foot massage , and eating lunch , yesterday I returned home to my sweatpants , my dog , and my streaming device . If you haven 't watched House of Cards and plan to , then perhaps the below list is something you 'll want to skip . But if you have , then I 'm sure you 've already had all these thoughts . In any case , I had to share a few reflections on yesterday 's binge . Alert ! Spoilers below ( if you haven 't gotten to the second season yet ) The credits to this show are way too long . I know , I know . I should be interested in who is in the show , but my gosh ! How long are those opening credits anyway ? it seems like they take up half the show . I know , we 've had young presidents , but I think this is kind of an interesting choice . He seems like he 's only in his mid forties to me . That 's kind of young , I think , but maybe they did that because it would seem more believable that he 'd be easily swayed by Frank . I can 't believe they killed Zoe Barnes . I knew something really bad was going to happen to Peter Russo , but I thought he 'd actually kill himself . Zoe Barnes , though , I really thought was going to be a series - long character , so when she died , I was shocked . I texted my mom about it , even . Miranda seems unimpressed by House of Cards . My dog cannot respect the fact that I really need to watch this show , and it 's serious business . So , yesterday I had to appease her by taking her to the dog park where she promptly found the muddiest dog , got dirty , and then got mad at me when I gave her a bath . Such is the life of a spinster . So , if you haven 't watched House of Cards yet , I highly suggest it , even though I 've already ruined two plot twists if you read the second to last bullet point . You 'll be addicted . Like , I 'm halfway considering watching an episode this morning before work . It is raining after all . That means watching TV is pretty much mandatory . . . As I type this , I 'm fending off my dog while eating a slice of cold pineapple pizza from last night and watching the first season of House of Cards . I know , I know . I 'm late to the House of Cards party , but my parents insisted it was excellent , so I had to check it out . It 's much better than the Hallmark Channel things they usually suggest . Oh , the drama ! In an unprecedented move , I actually shared my pizza with a couple of single friends last night . They had offered to come help me clean my apartment because . . . well , because it was a wreck , and they both . . . " love cleaning ! ? " While I can 't imagine that anyone would love cleaning , I am eternally grateful . I 've still got some organizing to do , but it looks much like a crack ( or pizza , as it were ) den in here than it did yesterday . All of this is to say that it 's excellent to have single friends . I feel I 'm moving into a new stage of spinsterhood . I had a date yesterday and considered canceling beforehand just because I wanted to hang out with my dog . While I was away from her , I wanted to text her to check in , and then I remembered that not only does she not have her own phone ( this could be remedied ) , but she 's also a dog , so she can 't actually text . This was a very upsetting realization . After the cleaning fiesta yesterday , we did one of my favorite things in the world : a makeover . It was a crazy hair and makeup makeover , but it was so much fun . I just think there should be more makeovers in this world , and I should be able to see them all . As such , I think I should link you to this article I found this morning on Refinery 29 from the beginning of the month . You may want to have your own makeover movie binge now . As for me , I 'm doing my very spinsterly job of keeping the nursery at church this morning . I 'll hold all the babies and play with all the children . When I 'm done , I won 't have to take any of them home . Happy Sunday , and happy Spinstering ! Well , Spinsters , I 've made it through the wilderness . The very busiest time at Work is over , and now I am free to cuddle Miranda as much as I 'd like . Earlier in the week , I was able to come home for Miranda 's lunchtime walk , and we dropped by the leasing office . She usually enjoys seeing people other than me , and that day wasn 't any exception . However , after a few minutes , she walked back over to the door and commenced staring longingly outside . Since I think every single thing she does is the cutest , of course I took a picture , and posted it everywhere . Now , let 's make this post productive . Here are some links : This Meow Cushion from Cotton On is perfect for your Spinster Lair . This tee shirt from Skreened pretty much sums up my home life . Hope Gangloff has some pretty amazing portraits . Every Spinster should probably get this tank top from Human Lenapavia is making some pretty incredible dog costumes on Etsy . I hope these links have brightened your Saturday morning . It is , after all , the best day of the week ! One of the most common search terms that has lately been referring people to The Spinsterhood Diaries is " makeup coloring page . " I have done one before , and it was included in the last Spinsterhood Diaries Coloring Book . Today , though , I decided to do one that was more graphic and less hand drawn . Sometimes those can be easier to color . Now let 's talk about what I 've included here . I 've got a few makeup brushes on the page including a blush brush , a sort of powder brush , and a little eyeshadow brush . There are a few q - tips scattered about because you never know when you 're going to need a little smudging action or perhaps even a little cleaning up around the edges . There 's a tube of lipstick and one of mascara , and there 's a bottle of nail polish in the center of it all . The two pencils are sort of supposed to be an eyeliner and a lip liner , but you can obviously color them however you 'd like . There 's a little sponge wedge and an egg - shaped blender tool , a pot of cream shadow or eyeliner ( whichever you 'd like ) , an eyeshadow palette with round little bits of eyeshadow , and a compact with a flower on the back that can hold pressed powder or just a mirror . You can 't see the inside , so imagine whatever you 'd like . The last item , I believe , is this little tube of mystery . It could be lotion or primer or foundation or . . . anything else ! You decide ! So , while this is by no means the entire contents of my makeup bag , it should be fun to color on this Friday morning . Or , perhaps you 'd like to save it until the three o ' clock slump . No one would blame you for that , either . It 's Thursday ! Today I thought I 'd take a little break from drawing objects and have a little fashion lady . Her arms and legs are a little skinny , but I think you can still color them . To give you a little more to color in , I gave you a bunch of flowers in the background . Of course , you can color or not color any part of the page you like ! So get your fashion designer on today ! Color her however you like , even though she has skinny legs . Also , you should probably eat some chocolate today . You 're a spinster , and in a world full of couples , you deserve a little bit of chocolate . Posted by I would have called this coloring page " glasses , " or " sunglasses , " but I don 't want to stunt your creativity . Today , if you print out this coloring page , consider adding some rhinestones , glitter , and stickers . If there 's one thing I 've learned by being a four - eyes it 's that glasses don 't have to be boring . If you print these out on 8 . 5 x 11 cardstock , you may even be able to cut these out and wear them . If you 're tired of printing out your own coloring pages , don 't forget about The Spinsterhood Diaries Coloring book from late last year . I am , of course , gearing up to put out another one this summer . Until then , though , keep checking back here to see little previews ! Your old friend the Spinster is in the thick of yet another busy work week . What does that mean for you ? More coloring pages ! Today you get to make all your own lipstick shades . Not only do you get to choose the lipstick color , but you can also color up the packaging any way you like ! So , we all know Tina Fey is a Spinster 's Dream . She writes about night cheese , and once on 30 Rock , she said she was wearing a Duane Read bag for underwear . The woman is brilliant . That 's why when I heard she had com out with a Netflix Series , I knew Miranda and I would be singing to our hearts ' delight . The show , of course , is Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt , and I would characterize it as " feel - good funny . " Starring Ellie Kemper of The Office and Bridesmaids Fame , the show centers around a girl who was recently freed from a long imprisonment by a cult - leading abductor . Free in the world for the first time since her early teens , Kimmy Schmidt is exploring New York City with a mixture of innocence and brio that is infectious . Titus Andromedon is this show 's answer to Tracy Jordan . My favorite thing about this character , though , is that he calls Kimmy things like " Kimothy , " and " Kimmillionaire . " You have to listen closely to catch them , but these nicknames are excellent . So , the whole time you 're watching this show , you assume the abductor is super creepy . Then you during the trial ( spoiler alert ! ! ! ) you find out it 's Jon Hamm , which really makes more sense when you think about joining a cult . Would you join a creepy guy 's cult , or Jon Hamm 's ? Probably Hamm because . . . i mean , you 'd go with him hoping it was a date . I love the premise of this show . It plays into the morbid curiosity we all have whenever an abductee resurfaces after we all thought all hope was lost . As usual Tina Fey pokes fun at us all , and we love it . I know , I know . For some of us the sight of office supplies on a Sunday is just bad form . And I " m very sorry about that . However , others of us ( my friend Alex being on of them ) Office Supplies can be quite exciting . In fact , there are entire blogs devoted to office supplies . The cool thing about coloring then is that they can be as cute as you want ! Pineapples are one of my very favorite fruit . I like them fresh or canned , in cake or on a pizza . In my opinion , pineapples are just one of the best fruits out there . So , why not wear them on your clothes ? Lucky for me , there are lots of wearable options this year . In the home , pineapples supposedly signify welcome . A candle in a pineapple jar with make your home look and smell welcoming . 8 . Pineapple Print Infinite Scarf : $ 11 . 99 , Amazon This just comes on a cord , but you can change it to a chain , too . Either way , it 's cute and dainty . Great with swim or your street clothes . Well , you had to know it was coming . Your Friday coloring page is a drawing of me , the Spinster . Really , this should be a coloring page of Miranda because she 's really the only way I made it through this week without eating exactly seven large Marco 's Pizzas . Instead I slowly ate one batch of spaghetti . Stop being jealous . It 's what spinsters do . I also ate several sticks of colby jack cheese with Miranda 's Help . The good news , Spinsters , is that it 's Friday . If you wanna eat an entire pizza tonight , you 've got all of Saturday to sleep it off . I 'll support you . I mean , I won 't hold your hair or anything , but I 'll support the decision . While you 're at it , you 'll probably need some ice cream or cake or something . Look on yelp tomorrow morning to find out what the best place for breakfast and / or doughnuts near you is . I highly recommend this . I have yet to be disappointed . Well , spinsters , in case you didn 't know , this is the year I 'm turning thirty . In fact , last week was my half birthday . I thought I would have celebrated it at work or over dinner , but instead I forgot all about it until I was asleep . During the night , I had a dream that it was my half birthday , and I ate half a cake , and my coworker had dated my old boyfriend , and he dropped by the office , and she fed him fruit with ants on it . Then , in my dream , I wore a go pro on my head . So now that you know about my half birthday dream , perhaps you 'll understand why today 's coloring page is a birthday cake . You can decorate this birthday cake any way you like . I always consider glitter and puff paint good options . Also , if you 'd like to send ant covered fruit to my old boyfriend , I 'm not going to stop you . I 'll leave which one of them it is up to you . Print this guy out on 8 . 5 x 11 paper and go to town ! It 's Wednesday , and you need a little something sweet as a reward for making it halfway through your week . If you 're trying to cut back on the calories , maybe you should just color your sweet treat instead . Yep , this is a coloring page of doughnuts . At the top , there 's a frosted doughnut with sprinkles . And , girl , those sprinkles can be any color you 'd like . For that matter , the dough and the frosting can be , too . The second one is a cream ( or custard or jelly ) filled doughnut with frosting on top . It looks a little vulgar , but that 's just so you can show what kind of filling you wanted . The next one is heart shaped , frosted , and sprinkled with heart shaped sprinkles . When I went to Dough in New York , they had a heart shaped chocolate raspberry doughnut , and I found it quite enchanting . So , it 's included here . The last doughnut is frosted and then drizzled on top . While you color today 's doughnuts , I want you to imagine what they 'd taste like . I hear that there is a place in New Jersey where they actually prepare the doughnuts to order right there while you wait . I mean . . . does it get better than that . I only hope my sister will try it out soon so I can hear all about it . Happy coloring today ! You 're halfway through the week . Posted by Ok , look . I don 't really know geometry , but I think that 's probably the best way to describe what 's going on in today 's coloring pages . In any case , there are lots of little spaces for coloring ! You can color them any way you like , and it 'll sort of look like a kaleidoscope . These types of coloring pages can sometimes be the most relaxing . You can use any color you want . Just because these are some of my friends ' favorite kind of coloring page , I decided we needed two . As always , these 'll print nicely on an 8 . 5x11 page . Or . . . if you want to wait until the next Spinsterhood Diaries Coloring Book comes out . . . you won 't have to print it at all ! Spinsters ! It 's Monday , and I know how hard it was for you to get out of bed . So , before you start on your work for the day , I think you should print out a coloring page and destress from this tough morning of waking up . As with the other two so far , these will fit nicely on an 8 . 5 x 11 page . Now , let 's talk about what we have here today . I have to admit that in the top one , I was a little lazy , so not all items have the same stroke weight . But you get the idea . We 've got a necklace , some tassel earrings , two little rings , a heart ring , a watch , three beaded bracelets , and another bracelet . I think it 'll be colorable even if he lines aren 't all the same weight . Since it 's Monday , you get a bonus coloring page . It 's just different sized beads . Enjoy the coloring pages . . . survive the Monday . Easter is approaching , and of course this means spring break is on its way , too . Other than Myrtle Beach ( to which I never went for Spring Break ) , this makes me think of swimwear ! While I may not be bikini ready ( unless you 're into wobbly , lumpy , spinsters ) , that doesn 't mean I can 't dream of a much younger time when wearing a swimsuit wasn 't frightening . Currently I design boys ' swimwear , but I thought since this is a Spinster Blog , I 'd go ahead and give you a coloring page of women 's swimwear . This way , you can pretend you 're designing your very own swimsuit by adding whatever colors , [ cat ] stickers , glitter , wash , or what have you to your swimsuits . It 'll be therapeutic . This page should print out nicely on an 8 . 5 x 11 page , so you won 't need to struggle with weird paper sizes and placements . Get those crayons , colored pencils , watercolors , and / or markers out , and get to work ! Next thing you know , you 'll be on Project Runway : Spinster edition . Well , you 've made it . It 's the weekend . I hope you 're reading this while drinking tea or coffee in your bed and eating something really indulgent . Today 's Free Art Friday is one little dog and one little cat . My dog one looks a little bit like a cat rabbit mouse , but I still think it 's cute . Maybe some dog people need a magnet today . After I finished War and Peace , I decided to look at the suggestions Audible . com Tries to give me every time I visit their page . One that kept coming up was Mary Kubica 's The Good Girl . I 'll be honest with you right now . I liked the cover . That 's about it . So I downloaded the book and started in on it . I believe that this is the first audiobook I 've listened to that had more than one reader . There were four narrators , which you 'd think would be helpful in keeping the characters straight . In some ways it did , but in other ways it was a little distracting . For example , one of the narrators was an English woman who sometimes had to do an American accent . We 'll just say that wasn 't really her best quality as a narrator . Spinsters , I think it 's been quite some time since we discussed desk snacks . I 'm ashamed to admit that earlier this week , I ate an entire box of Girl Scout Cookies . After that , I knew I needed a little something healthier , and that was when I remembered I hat a gigantic bag of Snapea Crisps from a recent trip to Costco . What , you ask , are Snapea Crisps ? Well , that 's what I 'm going to tell you . They 're snap peas that are , according to the website , baked . Whatever the method of processing , though , they are delicious . They taste like the most delicious pea - shaped potato chips you 've ever had . I 'm sure they 're not better for you than , say , raw snap peas , but they are a darn sight better than an entire box of cookies . And they 're addictive . So , that means they 're the perfect desk snack of the moment . I highly recommend you go to the store and purchase some of these as soon as humanly possible . So far , I know for a fact that they are sold at Whole Foods , Walmart , and Costco . That seems to be a pretty good assortment of retail outlets . In case you were wondering , this was not , in fact , a sponsored post . I just really like these things . Be careful , though . They are . . . ehem . . . a " good source of fiber . " Guys ! Guys guys guys . I have something really exciting to tell you . First , I need to say that I 'm not sure why I drew myself as a middle aged woman from your pottery class , but you get the idea . I 'm excited . Now , let 's proceed . Before I moved to Atlanta , I wasn 't active on Yelp . That is , I didn 't have an account . I just was creeping ' on the reviews to see if the restaurant I was planning to visit was good or terrible . However , when I got here to the heart of the dirty south , my friend Sarah told me all about the Yelp App and how she had a couple friends who were Yelp Elite . They get to go to special Elite events , and . . . it 's just cool , ok ? So , once I heard about Yelp Elite , I got kind of obsessed . I reviewed all sorts of things . . . foot massages , beauty supply stores , thrift stores , and of course restaurants . I took pictures of crutches for sale at the Value Village . Anyway , I 'm not officially addicted . And yesterday , I got a very exciting email . Guys . You 're looking at an illustration of one of the newest members of the Yelp Atlanta Elite Squad . Hooray ! ! ! Well , it 's Monday , and while I still feel like I 'm laughing up a lung , I do feel quite a bit better . As you can see above , Miranda was feeling just fine this weekend . She looks like a real animal here instead of the furry baby human I know she is , but I still think she 's cute . Miranda and I took many a nap this weekend , and she was so cute for all of them . Because of all the napping , though , today I 'm posting photos instead of illustrations . However , you 'll also get a rerun of one of the old playlists that 's just for Mondays . Before I post the Playlist , though , I wanted to share this one photo of one of the # FAFATL headbands I dropped this weekend . It went to a good home on a cute little girl 's head . I must admit that I think the magnet I used to attach it to the light pole was one of my better creations . Now if I could only get a really good drawing of a dog going . One of these days . . . Earlier this week , a friend of mine posted an article on my Facebook page about how coloring can be really good for adults . I then posted the article on The Spinsterhood Diaries Facebook Page , and I believe a few of you quite liked it . So , of course it followed that I should make a coloring page at some point this week . Today 's coloring page is all the components of an outfit . At least I think In remembered everything . Just inc as , though , let 's discuss the items included in this coloring page . Above the sweatshirt , you 'll see a matching necklace . Next , there is some lipstick and then a bottle of perfume with one of those atomizer bulbs . When my sister and I were little , we really wanted perfume that came with a squeeze bulb . I 'm nearly thirty , and I still think I 'd feel fancier and more glamorous if I put my perfume on this way . Next to the perfume is a pair of wacky socks because if you 're going to wear socks , they should be exciting . Beneath the socks is a pair of bangles , and next to the bangles is a cross body purse . They 're just easier to carry . Below the purse is a skirt I would very much have liked to wear every day when I was a slimmer girl . Unfortunately now I 'm fairly sure it would accentuate the fact that I generally look like I 'm smuggling a sack of flour over my belly . You 're welcome for that visual . Under the sweatshirt is a pair of clogs because they 're cute and comfy and look cool with socks . And Below those are a pair of undies based on the Aerie Mini Boy Brief with matching bra because , you know . . . sets ( as if anyone wears a matching set on a regular basis . ) Lastly , above the bra is a pair of earrings with the floral design from the sweatshirt and the necklace . Yesterday was Friday , but I spent the day cuddling with Miranda and taking naps and trying to get better . As such . . . I have these two cute headbands I didn 't post yet for # FreeArtFriday . Today , though , I 'll at least go to the grocery store , and when I do , I 'll post one ! Now , let 's talk about each of these headbands . On the left is a headband I made by wrapping the body with Sharpy - and - alcohol decorated fabric . The ends are finished with a little navy embroidery floss because I couldn 't make the ends stay . So we 'll just call that a little design detail . The second one is a headband made with the cat printed fabric I had made on Zazzle . It 's a print of my own hand drawn kitties . This one 's got a little bit of a wilder bow because the fabric is different . I Hope that whoever takes these babies home will wear them with pride and cuteness ! Check on the ol ' Instagram throughout the day for the hashtags # FAFATL and # FreeArtFriday . If you live in the Atlanta area , people are usually posting on Saturday , too . Firstly , I want to say that what you 're reading right now is a pre - post . If you 're reading this at 7AM , I am most certainly asleep . Later I 'll wake up and take some antibiotics and then my temperature . Ah , le sinus infection . Incidentally , though today 's image is indeed a loosely rendered portrait of one Leo Tolstoy , His face is not far from how I am feeling as I write today 's post . Now , feel sorry for me and bring me all the udon and brothy soups . Thank you . Not long after I moved to Atlanta , I was sitting with my friend Megan , over some quest no doubt . I was saying how I 'd read Infinite Jest , and somehow I liked it more and more the longer it 's been since I finished it . On the subject of particularly grueling and muscle - building books , Megan said she felt much the same way about having read War and Peace . So , though I know Megan is actually perhaps several standard deviations above my IQ score , I had to check it out . Unlike Megan , though , I knew I wouldn 't be able to read the book with my eyes . Nay , I would spend my days at work sketching away and listening to a very posh english man telling me the stories of Leo Tolstoy . So , a couple of days ago , I finished the book . I have to say . . . it may grow on me , but I feel like there could have been a bit more economy exercised . Perhaps it 's because I 'm such a spinster , but I didn 't really care too much about the battle descriptions unless they were particularly funny or revealing of some sort of human experience everyone has but never voices . Indeed , there were several of those . While I 'm glad to have this book under my belt , I think I would have gleaned a lot more of why it 's such an excellent and famous book if I had read it with my eyes on the subway on the way to work . I also would probably have formed a much closer bond with the physical object of the book and how , as I carried it , I looked leagues more intelligent than I actually am . Because be not fooled . That is what reading on the subway is all about . Well , at least 50 % of reading the subway is about that . When coloring your paper doll and her outfits , remember : you don 't have to just use solid colors . What about a polka dotted coat or some floral jeans ? Perhaps her one piece swim suit has some stripes or hearts ! You could even get really fancy and add some glitter , puff paint , rhinestones , or sequins ! Today , since we 're smack in the middle of the week , I think it 's time for something fun . I called this page " Color Your Own Paper Doll , " but after I 'd written all that , I realized you 'd actually just be coloring her outfits . That 's the most fun , though , right ? Today 's paper doll is a little girl , and she comes with one pretty dress and one superhero costume . At the bottom , she has a two - piece semicircular stand , which you can fit together to help her keep her balance . Color and decorate them any way you like ! Before we discuss the adorable kitties , though , I have to just show you this image from yesterday 's lunch break . Look at this parking job . I blurred the license tag to protect the guilty but . . . I mean , LOOK AT IT . It 's shameful . Yesterday I went to Atlanta 's Sublime Donuts , and it was delicious . I had a glazed croissant , a strawberries and cream doughnut , and the love potion pictured above . I drank the love potion , hoping that it would work . Instead , my online date postponed and then cancelled our date . So . . . I have to say I don 't really recommend this . As far as I can tell , it doesn 't work . Thankfully , I went to CostCo and then made the delicious strawberry shortcake you see below . Yes , that 's home made whipped cream . You just can 't beat it . The last thing I 'm bringing you today is a little dose of cuteness . I love my puppy , Miranda , so much that I could just eat her up . As I may have mentioned , I found Miranda through pet finder . So , today , I wanted to share with you a few links to cute little puppies in Atlanta that need a home . Don 't worry , I 'll bring you some precious kittens soon , too . Look at this roley poley puppy ! How could you not want to just pick him put and squeeze all that cuteness ? I bet he 's a spunky little boy , too . This puppy looks a little like Miranda , and I love him . Look at that sweet little face . How could you not want to adopt this baby ? His bio says that he is the runt of his litter . He needs your love and kisses . We have rescued little Penny from a high kill shelter in a rural area . She is between 3 and 4 months old and never met a stranger . She is very playful and enjoys cuddling . Unfortunately we don 't know anything about her history but he past her temperament test with flying colors . She is great with other dogs , cats , kids and people . This little girl will tickle you and will make someone very happy if given a second chance . Looking for a little baby who will snuggle and fall asleep in your arms ? ? ? Please e mail us for an application and meet Penny . . . . "
|
It 's a revolution . And a competition . And there 's a Manifesto around here somewhere . Maybe it 's under that yarn over there . Or maybe under the cat . . . I think I 'm in the home stretch , I finally started the last sock ! Only thing is of course , you know these are for my husband so of course they are ginormous . Don 't expect a post showing them as finished tomorrow or anytime this week probably . In the middle of these and the white scarf somewhere I also managed to knit these up . Wee little socks for my wee little niece ! Unfortunately , even with wee socks I have yarn - running - out issues . This is just some random acrylic I had floating around , I was certain when I started them there would be more than enough . Oh well . . . So if you look really , really close you can tell the one in the back is probably knitted tighter ( because I knew I would run out ) and then the tip of the toe is actually some Kroy sock yarn I found and used triple stranded to finish them up . Hopefully she won 't be too bothered by it , she 's two you know . So big socks , little socks I had to take this picture . And of course my favorite picture : I wish I could have taken this when the second husband sock was finished , on a day that wasn 't gloomy gray so I 'd have better light , but I 'm hearing the lines at the post office are murder this year so some of these have to get wrapped and mailed soon ! But still seven pairs of socks . . . 14 socks . . . I want to print this picture out and carry it with me and when I feel blue I can say , in 2007 I knit my friends and family 14 socks . . . and boy it sure was fun ! Or what if I put it on my desk at work next to my wedding picture . . . Now that wouldn 't seem too weird would it ? I guess it would , I 've realized lately that when the people at work hear me talking about knitting it 's probably a lot like when the people at Dunder Mifflin hear Dwight Shrute talking about growing beets . . . Or Ping Pong . . . Yup , I can see it that sock photo on his desk , right next to the bobble head and the Sheriff Mug . . . Too weird . . . I certainly can 't . I know back in August I promised pictures of the girls in their soakers . I don 't think I could have asked for cuter photos ! The pink pants look much better on , and it looks like they fit pretty good ! This is my sister 's friends daughter . I figure the pants must fit ok and I guess the itchiness isn 't issue , otherwise she would never be able to do this - Right ? How cute is the acrobatic photo ? So sweet . And of course I made soakers for my niece too . Except her version wasn 't the pants , it was just the regular short soaker . I 'm not crazy about how this one came out kind of see - through . I think maybe it was the Cascade 220 being a little thin . ( The pink pants were made with Patons Merino and that yarn is a little thicker ) Also if anyone is thinking of making these my sister did agree that if I make any more in the future she thinks she 'd prefer the long pants - version like the pink ones . With that one the baby can just wear them like little leggings , and they don 't really need pants over them . With the short version the soaker is still very diaper shaped , and not so fashion forward . As for what I 'm knitting now I 'm motoring along on the white scarf . And I do concede that I no longer think it looks like crap . It is actually very , very pretty . I saw someone had knitted one of these out of Silk Garden on Ravelry and I swear it made my heart go pitter - pat . Proof again , that it 's just the white that 's really not my thing , otherwise this pattern is actually really very nice . You never know , on a different day , in a different yarn , I might someday knit one for myself ! Another Christmas gift finished and done ! This is the regular old sock pattern I love from The Knitters Handy Book of Patterns by Ann Budd . The yarn is Shelridge Soft Touch Heather I bought in Rhinebeck . They went super fast with the magic loop method ( yay ! ) I did something weird on the first sock where the toe came out a little crooked but I don 't think it 's anything someone on a galloping horse would notice as they rode by . . . This on the other hand was kind of startling . . . The first time I chose to wear handknit socks this season a couple of weeks ago I chose to wear the Waterfall Rib socks I finished during the summer . Somehow I got this blow out on their very first wear and it just broke my heart . Who knows , maybe I had something in my shoe , maybe it 's because my foot is still swollen from the surgery ( yes . . . still . . . ) but I almost fainted when I saw that big ugly hole staring back at me . So what to do ? Learn how to darn socks of course ! I found a pretty good tutorial here . After I read it through , I was like , ok I can do this . But like a lot of things in knitting it 's totally different once you sit down and actually try it in real life . Here is my sock with it 's Hannibal Lecter like sewing thread grid . And notice my light bulb held inside since I don 't have a darning egg , it says try a light bulb which I think is kind of funny , but it works . Looks pretty neat , like this should be a straightforward endeavor at this point right ? Yep , about as straightforward as mud . At this point I 'm really fudging it , each time I try to pick up a stitch I 'm like " Is that the right loop , is that a yarn or a thread ? Or a piece of fuzz ? Do I go around 2 pieces of thread or one ? " As descriptive as the tutorial is there is the part about ' faking ' a stitch . I think about halfway through the hole I finally had my aha moment and my work started to match what I had read online . Unfortunately by this time the shape of the stitches was getting a little ' creative . ' Nonetheless , I 'm pretty happy with it . It 's a pretty thick patch and I think iPosted by For the pie , the stuffing , the potatoes , the sweet potatoes , the turkey , the gravy - the carbs , the fat , the sugar , I love you , I love you , I love you . For the fact that I have 2 feet and 2 legs that work without pain . With every step , several months later , I 'm still glad I 'm not on those crutches anymore . For my husband who is constantly taking out the trash , doing the dishes in the sink , helping people with their coats and cheering me on , every step of the crazy holiday , usually before I even need to ask . For my family and friends near and far , I 'm never with them enough . The ones that are far away today or not with us anymore , today I will miss you like hell . For a New York Jets Win . Please , please , please let it happen . Please . For the money to pay the bills , put the food on the table , for the health to enjoy it . For living in a country where it 's easy to feel safe , I have clean water , shelter , clothes . Hey , a lot of people in this world don 't . A lot . For the parade , the cheezier the better . I love it ! The balloons , the broadway numbers , the songs where a million people dressed all the same do cheezy little dances . And Al Roker . Al , I love you . Call me , we 'll celebrate the carbs , fat and sugar together . . . For taking off my shoes , having the glass of wine , picking up the needles and watching tv at the end of the day after everyone has left . Happy Thanksgiving everybody . Wherever you are and whatever you do I hope you are thankful and well fed and happy . Even though my progress is just running smoothly along on these socks ( thanks to Magic Loop ! ) I realized I still have an entire scarf to knit before Christmas ! I 'm not sure why but for me scarves always seem to take a long time so I figured I 'd better get cracking and cast on this . The pattern is called Fuchsia Lace Scarves by Fiber Trends . It 's for my mom who very specifically requested an all white - 6 inch wide - not overly thick or heavy scarf . ( Specific right ? ) I have to admit working with the white yarn makes my inner high school goth girl reel . Half the time I just know I 'm going to spill something on it or get it dirty somehow , the other half of the time I just think it looks like crap . But I know it does not look like crap , it is just something that I would personally never , ever , ever wear . It looks kind of flared out because after 2 repeats of the pattern it was so narrow and I was worried it looked really weird so I blocked what I had so far and it stayed to be six inches wide , and actually looked a lot better after blocking . So now I am tempting fate and by just taking what I blocked and kept on knitting on it . Hopefully once I block the whole completed thing it will stay a uniform 6 inches wide throughout , and the section I 've already blocked won 't expand further mysteriously or anything like that . Hopefully . . . On a completely unrelated note I did something different today and took my first yoga class ! It wasn 't anything too fancy , just the basic class they offer at my gym but I really , really enjoyed it . And it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be ! For the most part the poses aren 't terribly complex but when you hold them for 2 - 3 slow breaths sometimes you really start to feel it . I 've been back at my gym ( since the foot surgery ) for awhile now , I actually did my physical therapy there so I would be back in the habit of going when I was ready . Since this surgery I 've realized when I 've always exercised before I would always just knock myself out with the cardio and never did any strength trPosted by One more pair down , just 2 more to go . These are for my dad , the yarn is Louet Gems Fingering Weight in Charcoal . I 'm pretty happy with them , I 'm beginning to think Louet yarns are perfect . Really , I can 't picture being unhappy with them ever . Even though I have to admit earlier this week the sock knitting was beginning to get well , nothing short of tedious . I have 7 people who want pairs of socks for Christmas this year . Do the math and that is 14 socks altogether . Yeesh . I know I started a while ago , but with 2 pairs still to go , I 'm not exactly at the end of the tunnel . Thankfully this week I was snatched back from the fiery gates of sock knitting hell ( oh how I hate to see the words knitting and hell so close to each other in a sentence ! ) because Tracy helped me learn to Magic Loop ! This is really fun for me because if I had my choice right now I 'd love to be knitting a sweater . The weather has finally turned colder here and it seems everywhere I look there are these amazing sweaters being knit or that I want to knit . Chris in my knitting group is knitting the Radiance Cabled Jacket from Webs and it is gorgeous ! And I keep feeling the pretty , thick tweedy yarn in my stash wishing I was clicking away on a warm , hefty sweater rather than all these silly little socks on their silly little dinky bamboo dpns . Magic Loop feeds my delusion of sweater knitting just a tad since it 's on circulars , I know it 's a delusion but it might be enough to finally get through these Christmas socks . ( We saw Lars and The Real Girl last night . I have the feeling delusion is going to be my new word for awhile . . . ) And in reality of course there are a lot of other cool pluses about Magic Loop . Beyond the ' your needles won 't fall out and get lost ' benefit because that was never a problem for me , I probably carry my knittting more carefully than I carry my wallet most of the time . Instead , the big thing I 'm really enjoying is the absolute , complete lack of ladders . Not that the ladders killed me , I had made my peace with them long ago , andPosted by Gosh it feels like forever since I 've posted . I know I had the little ' hi ' in there last week with the pictures of my niece but other than that I 've been kind of out of it . And even though I 've been around doing stuff I 'm now looking through my computer realizing I really don 't have many pictures to show for it . But either way I guess here goes . I went to Baltimore for Stitches East with the girls and had a great time . I have to admit I really , really love Stitches . Well the Marketplace at least , I have never taken classes actually , just buying the yarn along seems to get me in enough trouble . I love Stitches because I love buying yarn and I also think Baltimore is just a fun city . It 's always easy to plan a trip around because it 's easy to get a hotel nearby and there 's always stuff to do in walking distance once the yarn haze has worn off at night . Truth is I always have fun with these girls you know . We just have fun sitting in our knitting group chatting and knitting every week - send us on the road and you know it 's going to be a good time . The weekend after that ( and after the niece babysitting ) we went to Rhinebeck . I have a strong urge to just admit it and say " I just don 't get Rhinebeck " but I really know the truth is I probably went into it with the wrong mindset . People always say such great things about Rhinebeck , it seems to always be what everyone wants it to be . I guess I was looking for something else . After having fun buying yarn at Stitches in Baltimore I was kind of hoping Rhinebeck would be somewhat more of the same - another yarn buying extravaganza but with animals and some other stuff . And well , it 's just much more of a variety than that . The emphasis at Rhinebeck is not on yarn , it 's on everything . Rather than viewing it as a yarn extravaganza it would be better to think of it as a fall festival with an emphasis on wool and fiber and some yarn . ( BTW they had some neato food at Rhinebeck - fried artichokes , lamb burgers , fudge covered brownies , who knew ? ) I think one main factor that caused me to Posted by So last weekend was Stitches and tomorrow I leave for my very first Rhinebeck , you 'd think there would be some stash photos here . Well , I did buy in Baltimore and I plan to buy more in Rhinebeck but being away 2 entire weekends in a row has left little time for blogging . Well , that and also a visit in between from the world 's cutest niece ! My sister was thrilled to win tickets to hear J . K . Rowling read and sign books at Carnegie Hall this evening . She 's a huge Harry Potter fan so she didn 't think twice about booking a flight to come up for the event . But who would babysit ? Me of course ! Well , ok , with help from my mom I guess . I knit the soakers , that is the extent of my diapering knowledge and I 'm content to leave it at that level . In the meantime we 've had a great couple of days eating crayons , playing with Mr . Potato Head and licking Playdoh . ( Hey , I sniff yarn , I see the point of connecting with the essence of your medium . ) If you need knitting content , well those socks she has on in these pictures are the ones I made a couple of months ago . There will be stash photos in the near future I promise . In the meantime , proof that the niece is not only still cute - but still fast ! ! ! I knit at work on my lunch breaks now . This might not seem like a big deal to some but it 's a very new thing for me . Before my surgery I was very much a closet knitter . Outside of my knitting group and my immediate family people knew I knit and saw some finished objects here and there but very few actually got to witness me in the act . Not being able to drive for 2 months changed all that . Always relying on others for transportation means a lot of waiting . Not that I ever minded , I was always grateful to get rides from anyone even if it meant waiting for a cab to take me to the train station to take the train home from work . I was grateful to have the option to have a cab to take me where I needed to go . But there was a good solid month before I was even coordinated enough to take the train . Before that I would have to wait for my husband to pick me up . He works later than me , so once I finished work I usually had a good hour before he could make it to my office to pick me up . Those hours started to add up . Those plus the fact that no driving ( or walking that much for that matter ) also meant no lunch hours out . I sat at my desk everyday . Now spending that much time waiting is not really that bad , but if you 're a knitter without your knitting , well , it 's going to put you over the edge a little . So now I knit at work and it 's not so bad . My co - workers are intrigued . I have yet to do it in front of my main boss , he 's not around a lot and I still worry about what he would think of it . But for the most part each day I either bring my lunch and sit at my desk and knit for an hour or go out and eat and knit somewhere else for an hour . My work is part of real estate , and the real estate market is frightfully dead right now so things are slow . I never skip lunches like I tend to do when it 's busy . And this knitting in public is not limited to work anymore . I knit at the vet waiting for the cat 's appointment . While waiting for my hairdresser . On car trips where I 'm not driving . I always knit on the long car trips before surePosted by Stitches East is less than 2 weeks away ! ! ! And then Rhinebeck is right after that people ! ! ! ! Yay ! ! ! Call me an overthinker , but I always make a list for fiber related events like these . The list makes up some things I need to get and then some general instructions . This way I don 't end up buying too much or too yarn for certain projects , hopefully . An example of something I need - I have 2 men I have to knit socks for by Christmas and somehow the lavender Louet Gems in the stash is not going to cut it . So I need to get some more masculine sock yarn . A suggestion - I know I would like to buy some yarn for a shawl this year . I think something more fingering than lace weight . And I don 't have a shawl pattern in mind , but I just need to make sure I buy a large enough amount to make a shawl out of . Another suggestion that I 'd like to stick with - when I 've gone to Stitches in the past I usually like to buy enough yarn for at least one sweater for myself . Well , since I still have a sweaters worth of yarn left from last year , I guess I 'll only buy for one this year . I have 2 sweater ideas kind of kicking around , one is a bulky weight sweater where I could use any kind of bulky weight yarn probably . The other is a Berrocco pattern which I would want to use the Berrocco yarn for , I would not want to substitute yarns for this sweater . So tell me what you think - One thing I 've decided lately is I 'd like to be knitting from my books more . I 'm afraid I own more knitting books than I 'd like to admit , and honestly I 've knit from them a lot less than I 'd like to admit . Enter my first consideration . . . Order and Chaos from Inspired Cable Knits . Ok , I know it sucks the one in the book is knit in white , and the model 's poses make it tough to make out how the sweater actually looks . Forget the fact that the guy she 's forced to pose with is a complete tool ( and why are they posing like it 's for a prom photo ? ? ? ) forget all that . This really is a great sweater . I think . It is bulky weight yarn and yes I know bulky weight is not always that flaPosted by First of all , thank you for all the nice comments you guys left on my last post . Thank you for wishing Allister well . And thank you so , so much for not thinking I 'm crazy and being patient when I was just feeling so , so sad about our little guy . Maybe it is all the well wishes that are helping ! Mid - week or so we started to notice a few changes here and there . He started eating a little more and hiding a little less . He started meowing again and as of this weekend we 're certain he is definitely feeling somewhat better . While he does not seem to be 100 % his normal self , we 're so happy for just these little improvements . He goes back to the vet Monday night , so maybe after all these well wishes the results might actually come back better . And I have another huge thank you to send to Sunne ! I left a silly comment on this blog post and she liked it so much she decided to send me a treat ! What a cute little package & a sweet card . Such attention to detail ! What 's inside ? Stitchmarkers from Sunne 's etsy store ! Aren 't they so pretty ? Seriously , these are like prettier than a lot of the jewelry I own ! And much better than the crappy ones I tried to make ages ago , no snaggly cut wires here ! I love the colorful little hearts , and I love the little kitties and of course the sun will always remind me I got them from Sunne ! They are the perfect size for socks which is good - I just got another request the other day , I now have 3 pairs of socks I have to finish by Christmas that I haven 't even started . Eep ! But that 's ok , the Waving Lace socks are done and that 's a pretty good start . Pattern : Waving Lace from the Interweave Favorite Socks BookYarn : Socks that Rock lightweight in Gunmetal GrayNeedles : KnitPicks 6 inch DPN ' sThese are an allover success in my book . This was the first chance I got to work with the Socks that Rock in my stash and now I see what all the fuss is about . It is beautiful , doesn 't split , it 's warm and woolly and so saturated with color . And just as I got to start to try out these needles of course KnitPicks comePosted by Sorry for the pause between posting but we 've had some pet drama going on here lately . Two posts back I mentioned our cat wasn 't feeling so great . Unfortunately , after several prescriptions and many vet visits since then things have not improved . The vets aren 't so sure what 's going on . It could be the parasite they originally figured , but they think there is probably also something in addition to that , maybe a feline immune deficiency virus . All of his blood counts have been way down and while they seem to have levelled off a little , they still haven 't improved the way they should from the medicine he 's being given . And from his behavior we can tell he 's feeling pretty crappy too . Allister is 11 years old and the vets have said this is a situation he will have to deal with until the end of his life . Whether that end is days , months or weeks away no one will tell us . He still has his good moments , he still wants petting sometimes , this morning he managed after 3 tries to jump up on the couch to sit next to me . I took the picture above when he felt like sitting by the door and watching leaves blow around for a few minutes this afternoon . But most of the time he secludes himself off in a dark corner exhausted . He barely , barely eats and he never comes upstairs anymore . Call me a crazy cat lady but seeing our friend like this has us just at our ends . Allister has been with us for 11 years . And in a house of 2 people a little pet starts to play a very big role . He has a big personality and he is loved very much . When he is down , 1 / 3 of our household is suffering and he carries our hearts on his shoulders . Maybe I 'm a big sap but it just has not had me in the blogging frame of mind lately . There have been pity parties . A lot of crying and a lot of chocolate eating . . . It just sucks . Crying , eating , knitting I suppose . Tracy reminded me knitting helps so it 's worth a shot . If it doesn 't work maybe I 'll try gin . Or gin and knitting together . I don 't see how it could make things worse . So far though it 's just been knittingPosted by Yep the second soaker is finished . I mailed the soaker and pants off to the recipients Saturday . I have requested a picture of the girls in their soakers , if I get it I promise I will post it here first ! I 'm really glad about meeting this goal , I wanted to have soakers done by September and I did . I wanted to finish my cotton yarn by September and I did . I think this goal - oriented stuff might be a good way to knit for me . Next up - I said I wanted to knit all my yarn from the last Stitches East before going to Baltimore in October for Stitches East 2007 . This goal I 'm pretty sure , is one I 'm not going to make . The problem is the majority of what I have left from Stitches is sock yarn . While I will really attempt to ramp up my sock knitting in the next 6 weeks ( good god . . . . ) there 's no way I can knit all of this without needing wrist or shoulder surgery . I really feel it when I only knit on small needles for 3 or 4 days in a row . For this reason I have to break it up with a worsted weight project . I started a scarf I will probably end up donating to charity for this purpose . But I need to remember it 's just to break up the sock knitting , for the next 6 weeks ( is it really only 6 weeks away ? ? that 's so good yet so bad . . . ) I really need to think socks ! And to those who think romance is dead lemme tell ya , despite the glamour of the cast and crutch situation in this house the romance lives on ! The other night my husband was out of the house at some silly Fantasy Football thing when he sent me a text message on my phone : Him : Did Amazon come today ? Me : Yes , what is it ? ( Thinking what is so important that it merits an interruption to the much anticipated kick off of the Fantasy Football season ? Must be good ! ) Him : Open it . Inside was thisI have not gotten a gift or bought something for myself this cool in a long , long time . Yes those are already my greasy fingerprints on it , I covet this so much I don 't know how I 've kept myself from sleeping with this darn thing . I cannot tell you people how much I love this freaking show . TPosted by Ok , so I may be the only blogger taking part in this Self Portrait Saturday , probably because I kind of made it up 5 minutes ago and haven 't told anyone else to take part . Why ? Well , I 'm just very happy today because today ( August 25th ) is the first time I have put in my contacts since June 27th . It 's also the first day I 've blown out my hair since June 27th . It 's the closest I 've felt to being my ' normal ' self ( stop laughing ! ) in awhile so I just wanted to take note of that , show my face and say hi to everybody ! Anyone else feeling like taking part in Self Portrait Saturday ( or Sunday or Monday , etc . ) please feel free to have a blog post and a smile ! I know maybe it seems weird , my foot was operated on , this shouldn 't affect my contacts or my hair but well , it just does . I 'm one of those practical type girls that if it gets hard to get around ( or I partied the night before , or I feel like staying in and knitting all day - hey it happens ) well , the glasses go on and the hair is going to suffer . That 's just what ponytails are for . Thankfully , these days I have been getting more and more mobile every day . This is the hardware making me mobile . The walking cast is black and heavy and a godsend . Lately , it 's allowed me to take the train home from work which gets me home almost an hour earlier and gives me a nice little knitting break after the work day . Last night it helped me get my laundry done , today the hair and the contacts , what 's next world ? Look out ! Actually we 're a week and a half away from no cast and physical therapy , and I promise Iwill be ready ! Unfortunately my little cat friend Allister , is not feeling so great . I 'm not posting his picture because he even looks like he doesn 't feel like having his picture taken . This week the vet diagnosed his recent general malaise as the parasite Hemobartonella . It 's caused him to be anemic which means he 's not eating a whole lot ( he 's lost 3 pounds ) , he 's laying about even more than usual and sometimes he 's been sick to his stomach a lot . Poor baby . We have him on the Posted by Well , the soaker with legs / baby pants are finished . Before I show you mine though , I 'm going to show you what the recipient has used in the past , and what I used as my model . Even my sister who is using these now too admitted ' they look weird , they don 't look like pants . ' But they are meant to be roomy in the diaper area , and then fitted in the legs to catch leaks and apparently that 's why this shape works . Ok , I know mine looks even weirder . Tracy made the keen comparison to the knitted uterus from Knitty . Or I keep thinking it looks like a new muppet soon to be appearing next to Elmo and Grover . But , I think it is along the same logic as the original model and I happen to think it will work . I really adhered to the measurements of my sister 's friends toddler who everyone says is very long and skinny . I made legs fitted enough to catch leaks , yet long enough to reach her ankles . It looks silly , but I think is will fit and wear well . The navy blue yarn is the soaker I 'm starting for my niece , she is a medium ( the pink is a small ) . I plan to finish both and then mail them together , that way maybe they can try different sizes if they need me to make them different next time . In non - wool - butt covering news I also finished the last 2 dishcloths from the Peaches and Creme yarn . Ok , I have a few random little leftover end balls floating around the bottom of the stash baskets that may eventually come together as one crazy , scrappy cloth , but for now I 'm pretending they 're not there . Besides , something tells me I 'll be placing another order for more Peaches and Creme before I know it . I love this yarn so much , and I feel like I 've only touched on the knitting and gifting possibilities . Here 's a look at another project I was really into this past weekend , I made a big batch of stuffed shells with my mom . Kind of retro right ? I don 't know why I think that , were these a big deal in the 70 's ? Or maybe they 're just something my mom made a lot when I was a kid ? I 'm not really sure why I think this but it was just so much fun ! BoilinPosted by
|
My basement basically functions as a playroom . I will go weeks at a time without cleaning it because the only thing down there is the washing machine and toys . And if I don 't have to look at it , I 'm probably not going to clean it . But it does really make me feel better when it 's clean , so I headed down there with Quinn the other day to neaten up and make some decisions on what toys my kids have outgrown and can be sold on Craigslist . I came up with a whole bunch of things to sell . Hopefully as I get paid for their departure , you will see them here . Otherwise you will see them as donations in the near future . Quinn played with popcorn for an hour . Then for another hour he played with a toy I was going to sell , but can 't anymore because he loved playing with it so much . So I took that toy , put it in a see - though container , as opposed to the solid one it had been in , and put it in a more accessible place . This is the toy , or rather , toys : I 'm kind of glad he played with it , because I think these are the perfect kinds of toys . But they don 't get played with at my house anymore . I hope that will change with their new location . Other than that , this is what I was able to get rid of . First , a pile of trash : Some of those things are items . Most are just trash . I just thought it was impressive to have that much trash in a room that doesn 't get much traffic . Honestly , a lot of the trash are pieces of toys that I just didn 't want to deal with anymore . This is what I am able to donate : Interestingly , it 's mostly hats and other head wear . ( I went through the kids ' costume box . ) I 'm going to mark it down as 20 items . Forgive the fuzzy math . If you read Stimeyland , you 've read about Friend L . L is amazing . She is one of my very best friends , has adorable children who play well with mine , and is also currently a stay at home mom . A few years ago , I was lucky enough to move in down the street and around the corner from her . I must have had some good karma saved up to stumble into such a situation . After I cleaned out my craft cabinets the other day , she said that she needed help with her art supplies . I told her that I would bring my camera and do a post on her junk . She was not so into that idea . Because , and I 'm just now learning this , not everyone in the world wants to show off their dirty cabinets to the entire world . Huh . So yesterday when I was over at her house and she showed me her cabinet , I immediately started bossing her around about how her waffle iron needed to go there and her PixOs needed to go here , and before you know it she was agreeing to let me take photos of the finished products . Allow me to present L : Isn 't she the cutest ? She 's holding a breast milk storage bag that she found in her cabinet . Her youngest is three and a half years old . See ? I 'm not the only one with this crap in my cabinets . She doesn 't have as many craft supplies as I do , but they were a little scattered over the three shelves in her cabinet , and mixed in with cooking supplies . The main thing I did was suggest that she separate the two . The top shelf is now for cooking items , and the bottom two shelves are for crafts . See : She moved some of her lesser used cooking supplies over to an incredibly awkward cabinet she has , where much of the space is practically inaccessible from the door . There is as much space to the left of the door opening as there is visible above . And there is no easy access to it , so she had to make sure that the things there aren 't things she uses regularly . My personal favorite thing about this cabinet is her chocolate chip container , on which she has written a note to let her son about chocolate chips . Based on the chip level , do you think he listePosted by Author 's Note : Please pretend not to notice that half of our light bulbs are burned out . Our two bathrooms are kind of regularly a disaster , but inspired by trying to find a place to hide several toothbrushes , I decided to clean out the cabinets of one of them the other day . This is the cabinet where we keep all of our baby - care items because we have babies . ( No . We don 't . ) Author 's note : Please pretend not to notice that I have a book in there called " Wherever You Go There You Are . " Here is the cabinet after I took out all the baby - care stuff for all our non - existent babies : I know it still looks like there are baby - care items , such as baby wipes and baby wash and so on . Those aren 't baby - care items . They 're items . I didn 't feel ready to get rid of the child suppositories yet . I think that as soon as I throw them away , Quinn will immediately stop pooping . And I don 't really want that . Here 's our other cabinet in the yellow bathroom . There are stickers in there that are left over from when I was potty training Sam . Four years ago . There are also some little scenty things Sam made in preschool . Three years ago . We don 't use this cabinet very much . Now it holds toothbrushes . These are all the things I got rid of : Most of it is trash , because who wants a used booger sucker ? Or mostly empty bottles of nasal saline ? But I was still able to donate a couple of things . ( One thing . ) Total items : 11 After all the work I 've done in my kitchen in the last few days , I looked around and noticed the only two cabinets that I haven 't decluttered since starting this whole thing nearly a year ago . It turns out that those two cabinets were fairly innocuous as far as junk goes . This is all I found to get rid of in the first cabinet : In case you can 't tell , that 's an old bag that I 've been saving for at least a year and a half . Don 't ask me why . The other thing is a wooden block that you screw an apple corer / peeler onto . The peeler it went with broke and we have a new one that doesn 't need the block . Don 't ask me whay we still have it . But now we don 't . The next cabinet kind of killed me . I found these plastic trays and a placemat that we don 't use anymore . But look how cute they are . I love them , but we never use them anymore . It 's entirely possible that I 'll reclaim the bigger trays from my donation box before my next donation . Aren 't they cute ? If I do save them - and every second I see this photo , I 'm more inclined to - I 'll take them off of my count . Total items ( for now ) : 8Edited to add : Okay , I 'm taking the trays back . I just can 't get rid of them . And you seem to agree with me . Total items : - 3 You know the type of spot : it 's small and awkward , and somehow always crammed full of junk . The tiny space between the top of our refrigerator and the bottom of some cabinets is one of those spots for us . I don 't know why we have so much stuff up there , but it collects junk that we don 't know what to do with . There 's an awful lot up there that we don 't need , including three flashlights . Yeah , we keep our scissors up there so Jack doesn 't accidentally stab himself while he 's trying to cut his eyelashes ( true story ) , but most of the other things have better places to live . There were several things we were able to get rid of . Most of them were bits of child proofing that we kept for some reason . I redistributed the flashlights around the house after putting batteries in a couple of them , organized what was left up there ( scissors ) , thought briefly about cleaning the goo off of the fridge , then took a photo and called it done . Total items : 9 Way back when I started the Junk Pyramid , I purged and organized my Tupperware cabinet . Since then , the forces of entropy ( a . k . a . my husband ) have de - organized it , and it needed to be redone . I 'm sure you can imagine the before . This is the after : I find that taking a second pass at an area a few weeks or months after your initial purge is helpful . You can take another look at the things in there and see if there are items you haven 't used since the last purge . I also find that I 'm more inclined to get rid of things the second time through . Plus , the first time , there were surely items that you had forgotten about . I 'm sure that you told yourself that now that you 'd remembered it , you would use it all the time . A second time through is the time to ask yourself if you have in fact used it . One of my important rules of decluttering is that you can only use the " Now That I Know It 's There , I 'll Use It " rule once . If you forgot about it again after the first go - round , you should either get rid of it or move it to a more accessible place . Most of the pieces in my Tupperware cabinet are things I use , but I was able to find some pieces that we have too many of or that are missing a lid or a bottom . Total items : 8 Those of you who read Stimeyland know that Quinn went through a period wherein he only wore a few shirts . The seven in the photo below were almost always acceptable to him . When it started to get cold , I took Quinn with me to Target and bought every long - sleeved shirt he claimed that he would wear . Then I removed all the short - sleeved shirts he still wanted to wear . I kept them to see if he was getting more flexible about his clothing . And I 'm sure I 've jinxed myself by writing this , but I think he is . I pulled out some of the larger and less stained shirts for him to wear next summer if they still fit , but these are the discards . Good riddance ! Total items : 7 Quinn got this handmade invitation to a birthday party . It is so cute that I don 't want to get rid of it . But I know that keeping it is not a good solution . I could frame it and make it into art , but I don 't have the wall space . It needs to be recycled . I used to keep all kinds of greeting cards because I felt bad about recycling them . But unless they have sentimental value , they are just clutter . Now I keep them for a few days , look at them , show them to my kids , and try to squeeze full enjoyment out of them . Then I recycle them . And I think that lets them serve their purpose without living in my house forever . I need a little help with this area of my kitchen : And its associated cabinet : See , just to the right of that bread box is the counter where I do most of my cooking , chopping , measuring , and the like . It is also where I make lunches for my little dudes . It is a good spot to make lunches because the refrigerator is just a bit farther to the right , and everything I use for lunches is in one spot . Except to get knives to spread peanut butter , or a spoon to mix chocolate milk , I can stand in one spot and get everything I need . Unfortunately , that has resulted in a cluttered little area . Clearly the bread situation at the time of the photo was at a high . We usually don 't have hamburger buns , but I 'm making sloppy joes this week . Also , for some reason , at the time of this photo , the bread box itself was practically empty . Way to put away the groceries , Alex ! I needed these spots to be easier to access , so I needed more room in the cabinet . There were things in the cabinet that need to be in a cabinet in the kitchen , but not necessarily in this cabinet . I moved our wine opening items from the top shelf of this cabinet to the top shelf of a different cabinet . And I got rid of these : I have a better first aid kit in the kitchen , so I don 't need this . I found another toxic water bottle . ( From Eddie Bauer , just like the last one . ) And I found three stove knob child protective devices . Interestingly , none of my kids had ever noticed the stove knobs until I put these covers on them . Suddenly there were devices ! That needed to be opened ! So now the kids played with the knobs , but they were devastatingly hard for me to open when I actually wanted to cook , so I left them on , but open much of the time . So the covers basically turned the stove knobs into kid - attracting danger zones . That explains why they are no longer on the stove . Don 't ask me why they were still in my cabinet . So after I got rid of those items , and moved some other items to a new cabinet , I redistributed what was left . I gave our stack of towels their own shelf and put Posted by Much of what I do here at The Junk Pyramid is part of an effort to , if not get rid of things entirely , then at least to get them behind doors and out of sight . My latest project had me doing the exact opposite . See , I have this weird little room / stairway landing / space that served as Quinn 's room for a year that has a great feature - this fabulous room - length cedar chest : It is a wonderful place to store things like extra towels , extra sheets and comforters , and pillows . Unfortunately I also use it to store my board games and my photo albums . I 'll deal with the games another time . My photo albums , for obvious reasons , are difficult to access . Because they are so difficult to access , I never look at them . Occasionally I will be looking for a particular photo or a photo from a particular era , and I have to drag out all the albums on top and dig through the ones underneath . It 's a poorly designed system . I decided that my decluttering efforts aren 't just about getting rid of things , but making my house more livable . One way to make my house more livable is to put things I love where I can get them . And I love my photographs . Can you tell ? I 'm only 35 by the way . Can you imagine how many there will be when I 'm 75 ? Unless I 'm killed in a freak accident where a pile of photo albums falls on me . I may need a new bookshelf . Oh , and did you see Sam 's beautiful artwork on the wall behind the shelf ? Pretty , huh ? Obviously I didn 't get rid of any photo albums . Except for this one , that reqires you use photo corners to put the pictures in . Chances of me doing that are slim to none . Total items : one photo album and one package of photo corners The other day Alex started freaking out and demanded that these cups leave our house immediately . We have used them as giant water cups in the past , but haven 't done so for a while . I could barely delay him long enough to take a photo . ( It 's a little embarrassing that I take all these photos , huh ? Oh well . ) Inspired by the extra space in the cabinet , I looked around for some other dishes we don 't use or that are mismatched . I found these : Total items : 19 I think I may have decluttered these areas last year , but it needed to happen again . I have two cabinets where I keep art supplies for my kids to use . I forgot to take a before photo of one of the cabinets , but here is the before photo of the other one . I couldn 't open the cabinet door all the way to take the photo because the door was holding the stuff in . Doesn 't it totally look like it would be easy to find things in there ? Most of what I did in this cabinet was consolidate and organize , although I did manage to get rid of some stuff . Guess which item I 'm most excited about getting rid of ? It 's those horrible Magic Noodles . I tried to get rid of them a while back , but Sam caught me and made me put them back . This time I did it while he was at school . I don 't feel even a little bit bad about it either . I hate them that much . The other stuff is sort of run of the mill . I got more stuff out of the cabinet I forgot to take the before photo of . Although in this picture there is also a stack of coloring pages I kept in a drawer . I don 't think my kids even knew they were there . At some point , keeping them just got ridiculous . I mean , really , if Jack 's teachers can 't get him to color his school work , why should I torture him with recreational coloring at home ? Most of the things in that pile were dried out art supplies , or bits of craft projects , or some leftover craft projects that we had extras of after my kids did them . I 'm able to donate a few things , but most of it ended up in the recycling or trash bin . I did do something really , really smart though . Sam badly wanted the bead set that came in the box pictured below a couple of years ago , so I gave it to him for Christmas . Of course , the beads in that box took up a tiny amount of space , but the box took up a giant amount of space . And somehow , it took me two years to figure out that I should put the beads in a different container . That 's what the yellow box is . And that box is still waaaaaaaay too big for the beads . My helper and I did stop to make a necklace though . Now IPosted by I made a rookie mistake over and over again during the course of the past two or so weeks . I didn 't have the time or inclination to do any big projects , so I waited until I did . And then , with every day that passed , I felt more pressure to produce something good . So I didn 't do anything . Except create lists of big projects to declutter . I finally did get my act together and The Junk Pyramid will be back in force tomorrow with a great project that has been screaming to be done for weeks . The moral of the story : It doesn 't matter if you 're tackling a big project or a little one . Decluttering is a series of steps that add up . The small steps are just as important as the big ones .
|
My basement basically functions as a playroom . I will go weeks at a time without cleaning it because the only thing down there is the washing machine and toys . And if I don 't have to look at it , I 'm probably not going to clean it . But it does really make me feel better when it 's clean , so I headed down there with Quinn the other day to neaten up and make some decisions on what toys my kids have outgrown and can be sold on Craigslist . I came up with a whole bunch of things to sell . Hopefully as I get paid for their departure , you will see them here . Otherwise you will see them as donations in the near future . Quinn played with popcorn for an hour . Then for another hour he played with a toy I was going to sell , but can 't anymore because he loved playing with it so much . So I took that toy , put it in a see - though container , as opposed to the solid one it had been in , and put it in a more accessible place . This is the toy , or rather , toys : I 'm kind of glad he played with it , because I think these are the perfect kinds of toys . But they don 't get played with at my house anymore . I hope that will change with their new location . Other than that , this is what I was able to get rid of . First , a pile of trash : Some of those things are items . Most are just trash . I just thought it was impressive to have that much trash in a room that doesn 't get much traffic . Honestly , a lot of the trash are pieces of toys that I just didn 't want to deal with anymore . This is what I am able to donate : Interestingly , it 's mostly hats and other head wear . ( I went through the kids ' costume box . ) I 'm going to mark it down as 20 items . Forgive the fuzzy math . If you read Stimeyland , you 've read about Friend L . L is amazing . She is one of my very best friends , has adorable children who play well with mine , and is also currently a stay at home mom . A few years ago , I was lucky enough to move in down the street and around the corner from her . I must have had some good karma saved up to stumble into such a situation . After I cleaned out my craft cabinets the other day , she said that she needed help with her art supplies . I told her that I would bring my camera and do a post on her junk . She was not so into that idea . Because , and I 'm just now learning this , not everyone in the world wants to show off their dirty cabinets to the entire world . Huh . So yesterday when I was over at her house and she showed me her cabinet , I immediately started bossing her around about how her waffle iron needed to go there and her PixOs needed to go here , and before you know it she was agreeing to let me take photos of the finished products . Allow me to present L : Isn 't she the cutest ? She 's holding a breast milk storage bag that she found in her cabinet . Her youngest is three and a half years old . See ? I 'm not the only one with this crap in my cabinets . She doesn 't have as many craft supplies as I do , but they were a little scattered over the three shelves in her cabinet , and mixed in with cooking supplies . The main thing I did was suggest that she separate the two . The top shelf is now for cooking items , and the bottom two shelves are for crafts . See : She moved some of her lesser used cooking supplies over to an incredibly awkward cabinet she has , where much of the space is practically inaccessible from the door . There is as much space to the left of the door opening as there is visible above . And there is no easy access to it , so she had to make sure that the things there aren 't things she uses regularly . My personal favorite thing about this cabinet is her chocolate chip container , on which she has written a note to let her son about chocolate chips . Based on the chip level , do you think he listePosted by Author 's Note : Please pretend not to notice that half of our light bulbs are burned out . Our two bathrooms are kind of regularly a disaster , but inspired by trying to find a place to hide several toothbrushes , I decided to clean out the cabinets of one of them the other day . This is the cabinet where we keep all of our baby - care items because we have babies . ( No . We don 't . ) Author 's note : Please pretend not to notice that I have a book in there called " Wherever You Go There You Are . " Here is the cabinet after I took out all the baby - care stuff for all our non - existent babies : I know it still looks like there are baby - care items , such as baby wipes and baby wash and so on . Those aren 't baby - care items . They 're items . I didn 't feel ready to get rid of the child suppositories yet . I think that as soon as I throw them away , Quinn will immediately stop pooping . And I don 't really want that . Here 's our other cabinet in the yellow bathroom . There are stickers in there that are left over from when I was potty training Sam . Four years ago . There are also some little scenty things Sam made in preschool . Three years ago . We don 't use this cabinet very much . Now it holds toothbrushes . These are all the things I got rid of : Most of it is trash , because who wants a used booger sucker ? Or mostly empty bottles of nasal saline ? But I was still able to donate a couple of things . ( One thing . ) Total items : 11 After all the work I 've done in my kitchen in the last few days , I looked around and noticed the only two cabinets that I haven 't decluttered since starting this whole thing nearly a year ago . It turns out that those two cabinets were fairly innocuous as far as junk goes . This is all I found to get rid of in the first cabinet : In case you can 't tell , that 's an old bag that I 've been saving for at least a year and a half . Don 't ask me why . The other thing is a wooden block that you screw an apple corer / peeler onto . The peeler it went with broke and we have a new one that doesn 't need the block . Don 't ask me whay we still have it . But now we don 't . The next cabinet kind of killed me . I found these plastic trays and a placemat that we don 't use anymore . But look how cute they are . I love them , but we never use them anymore . It 's entirely possible that I 'll reclaim the bigger trays from my donation box before my next donation . Aren 't they cute ? If I do save them - and every second I see this photo , I 'm more inclined to - I 'll take them off of my count . Total items ( for now ) : 8Edited to add : Okay , I 'm taking the trays back . I just can 't get rid of them . And you seem to agree with me . Total items : - 3 You know the type of spot : it 's small and awkward , and somehow always crammed full of junk . The tiny space between the top of our refrigerator and the bottom of some cabinets is one of those spots for us . I don 't know why we have so much stuff up there , but it collects junk that we don 't know what to do with . There 's an awful lot up there that we don 't need , including three flashlights . Yeah , we keep our scissors up there so Jack doesn 't accidentally stab himself while he 's trying to cut his eyelashes ( true story ) , but most of the other things have better places to live . There were several things we were able to get rid of . Most of them were bits of child proofing that we kept for some reason . I redistributed the flashlights around the house after putting batteries in a couple of them , organized what was left up there ( scissors ) , thought briefly about cleaning the goo off of the fridge , then took a photo and called it done . Total items : 9 Way back when I started the Junk Pyramid , I purged and organized my Tupperware cabinet . Since then , the forces of entropy ( a . k . a . my husband ) have de - organized it , and it needed to be redone . I 'm sure you can imagine the before . This is the after : I find that taking a second pass at an area a few weeks or months after your initial purge is helpful . You can take another look at the things in there and see if there are items you haven 't used since the last purge . I also find that I 'm more inclined to get rid of things the second time through . Plus , the first time , there were surely items that you had forgotten about . I 'm sure that you told yourself that now that you 'd remembered it , you would use it all the time . A second time through is the time to ask yourself if you have in fact used it . One of my important rules of decluttering is that you can only use the " Now That I Know It 's There , I 'll Use It " rule once . If you forgot about it again after the first go - round , you should either get rid of it or move it to a more accessible place . Most of the pieces in my Tupperware cabinet are things I use , but I was able to find some pieces that we have too many of or that are missing a lid or a bottom . Total items : 8 Those of you who read Stimeyland know that Quinn went through a period wherein he only wore a few shirts . The seven in the photo below were almost always acceptable to him . When it started to get cold , I took Quinn with me to Target and bought every long - sleeved shirt he claimed that he would wear . Then I removed all the short - sleeved shirts he still wanted to wear . I kept them to see if he was getting more flexible about his clothing . And I 'm sure I 've jinxed myself by writing this , but I think he is . I pulled out some of the larger and less stained shirts for him to wear next summer if they still fit , but these are the discards . Good riddance ! Total items : 7 Quinn got this handmade invitation to a birthday party . It is so cute that I don 't want to get rid of it . But I know that keeping it is not a good solution . I could frame it and make it into art , but I don 't have the wall space . It needs to be recycled . I used to keep all kinds of greeting cards because I felt bad about recycling them . But unless they have sentimental value , they are just clutter . Now I keep them for a few days , look at them , show them to my kids , and try to squeeze full enjoyment out of them . Then I recycle them . And I think that lets them serve their purpose without living in my house forever . I need a little help with this area of my kitchen : And its associated cabinet : See , just to the right of that bread box is the counter where I do most of my cooking , chopping , measuring , and the like . It is also where I make lunches for my little dudes . It is a good spot to make lunches because the refrigerator is just a bit farther to the right , and everything I use for lunches is in one spot . Except to get knives to spread peanut butter , or a spoon to mix chocolate milk , I can stand in one spot and get everything I need . Unfortunately , that has resulted in a cluttered little area . Clearly the bread situation at the time of the photo was at a high . We usually don 't have hamburger buns , but I 'm making sloppy joes this week . Also , for some reason , at the time of this photo , the bread box itself was practically empty . Way to put away the groceries , Alex ! I needed these spots to be easier to access , so I needed more room in the cabinet . There were things in the cabinet that need to be in a cabinet in the kitchen , but not necessarily in this cabinet . I moved our wine opening items from the top shelf of this cabinet to the top shelf of a different cabinet . And I got rid of these : I have a better first aid kit in the kitchen , so I don 't need this . I found another toxic water bottle . ( From Eddie Bauer , just like the last one . ) And I found three stove knob child protective devices . Interestingly , none of my kids had ever noticed the stove knobs until I put these covers on them . Suddenly there were devices ! That needed to be opened ! So now the kids played with the knobs , but they were devastatingly hard for me to open when I actually wanted to cook , so I left them on , but open much of the time . So the covers basically turned the stove knobs into kid - attracting danger zones . That explains why they are no longer on the stove . Don 't ask me why they were still in my cabinet . So after I got rid of those items , and moved some other items to a new cabinet , I redistributed what was left . I gave our stack of towels their own shelf and put Posted by Much of what I do here at The Junk Pyramid is part of an effort to , if not get rid of things entirely , then at least to get them behind doors and out of sight . My latest project had me doing the exact opposite . See , I have this weird little room / stairway landing / space that served as Quinn 's room for a year that has a great feature - this fabulous room - length cedar chest : It is a wonderful place to store things like extra towels , extra sheets and comforters , and pillows . Unfortunately I also use it to store my board games and my photo albums . I 'll deal with the games another time . My photo albums , for obvious reasons , are difficult to access . Because they are so difficult to access , I never look at them . Occasionally I will be looking for a particular photo or a photo from a particular era , and I have to drag out all the albums on top and dig through the ones underneath . It 's a poorly designed system . I decided that my decluttering efforts aren 't just about getting rid of things , but making my house more livable . One way to make my house more livable is to put things I love where I can get them . And I love my photographs . Can you tell ? I 'm only 35 by the way . Can you imagine how many there will be when I 'm 75 ? Unless I 'm killed in a freak accident where a pile of photo albums falls on me . I may need a new bookshelf . Oh , and did you see Sam 's beautiful artwork on the wall behind the shelf ? Pretty , huh ? Obviously I didn 't get rid of any photo albums . Except for this one , that reqires you use photo corners to put the pictures in . Chances of me doing that are slim to none . Total items : one photo album and one package of photo corners The other day Alex started freaking out and demanded that these cups leave our house immediately . We have used them as giant water cups in the past , but haven 't done so for a while . I could barely delay him long enough to take a photo . ( It 's a little embarrassing that I take all these photos , huh ? Oh well . ) Inspired by the extra space in the cabinet , I looked around for some other dishes we don 't use or that are mismatched . I found these : Total items : 19 I think I may have decluttered these areas last year , but it needed to happen again . I have two cabinets where I keep art supplies for my kids to use . I forgot to take a before photo of one of the cabinets , but here is the before photo of the other one . I couldn 't open the cabinet door all the way to take the photo because the door was holding the stuff in . Doesn 't it totally look like it would be easy to find things in there ? Most of what I did in this cabinet was consolidate and organize , although I did manage to get rid of some stuff . Guess which item I 'm most excited about getting rid of ? It 's those horrible Magic Noodles . I tried to get rid of them a while back , but Sam caught me and made me put them back . This time I did it while he was at school . I don 't feel even a little bit bad about it either . I hate them that much . The other stuff is sort of run of the mill . I got more stuff out of the cabinet I forgot to take the before photo of . Although in this picture there is also a stack of coloring pages I kept in a drawer . I don 't think my kids even knew they were there . At some point , keeping them just got ridiculous . I mean , really , if Jack 's teachers can 't get him to color his school work , why should I torture him with recreational coloring at home ? Most of the things in that pile were dried out art supplies , or bits of craft projects , or some leftover craft projects that we had extras of after my kids did them . I 'm able to donate a few things , but most of it ended up in the recycling or trash bin . I did do something really , really smart though . Sam badly wanted the bead set that came in the box pictured below a couple of years ago , so I gave it to him for Christmas . Of course , the beads in that box took up a tiny amount of space , but the box took up a giant amount of space . And somehow , it took me two years to figure out that I should put the beads in a different container . That 's what the yellow box is . And that box is still waaaaaaaay too big for the beads . My helper and I did stop to make a necklace though . Now IPosted by I made a rookie mistake over and over again during the course of the past two or so weeks . I didn 't have the time or inclination to do any big projects , so I waited until I did . And then , with every day that passed , I felt more pressure to produce something good . So I didn 't do anything . Except create lists of big projects to declutter . I finally did get my act together and The Junk Pyramid will be back in force tomorrow with a great project that has been screaming to be done for weeks . The moral of the story : It doesn 't matter if you 're tackling a big project or a little one . Decluttering is a series of steps that add up . The small steps are just as important as the big ones .
|
Not sure who is going to get these rose hips first , my mom or the birds . I originally planted this native rose for the birds but soon after , my mother discovered the health benefits of consuming rose hips herself and now pesters me each year to harvest them for her . Last year I sent her my entire supply but luckily this year I have a bumper crop and figure that there are at least 700 hips on my 7 plants . . . more than enough to feed the birds and my mom . These rose plants go by the name Rosa Carolina - also known as Pasture Rose and are listed by the Wild Ones as one of the best winter berry producing native plants for birds . It dawned sunny , dry , and windy today and I didn 't let the high of 32 degrees prevent me from hanging two loads of laundry outside to dry . I figured I needed to experiment and see if the whole idea of sublimation was true . Sublimation is the process where clothing hung on a clothesline in below freezing weather will go from wet to dry by releasing frozen water vapor . Would my clothing dry after four hours outdoors on what would typically be a great day for drying if it wasn 't for the fact that it was the end of December and below freezing ? According to the process of sublimation , it should . Now that the experiment is over , I can say that the extremely light weight clothing , the stuff that practically feels dry when you remove it from the washing maching , did dry . So did the men 's cotton business shirts . The rest of it was wet and frozen stiff . It was actually kind of cool . I could remove the clothespins from the clothing and the clothing didn 't fall off of the line because it was frozen in place . Hating to remove the board stiff clothing and rehang it indoors , I decided to leave it out overnight and hope that it would dry in the early part of the day tomorrow . We are supposed to reach 41 degrees and it will all dry in the morning . Because of the promising weather , dare I try and get a few more loads hung out after that ? You may wonder why I put myself through hanging my laundry outside and dealing with the possibility of it freezing and such . Why not just hang it inside you may think . Well , I really don 't enjoy hanging my clothes up inside the house . It feels so much more like work . I guess that it just suits me better to be outside , feeling the sun and wind and watching my dog explore the yard . Plus you can 't beat how clothes smell when they come in off of the line . It is especially good in the cold weather when the clothing hung outdoors brings the fresh smell of winter indoors . All of the posts that discuss my experiences with outdoor line drying can be found by clicking here . I have resisted owning a snowblower my entire life and preferred the quiet solitude along with beneficial exercise that comes from hand shoveling my driveway . Through winters in Colorado high country and now Illinois , I have had this philosophy and it has served me well . But this December here in Chicago , where we have already received 22 " of snow , I am not finding snow shoveling to be as much fun . I have spent many hours over the last few days digging digging digging myself out and it is still snowing as I type this . It has not gone unnoticed by me that my snowblower owning neighbors are able to spend more time sitting by their fire or singing carols around their piano , than communing with their snow shovel on the driveway . They are decked in their Christmas sweaters and gathered around their table as I bundle up for yet another go at shoveling . The snowblowing folks spend a fraction of their time outside , zipping up and down for a few passes and then pop back inside . They spend so little time outdoors , they could almost complete the job while brewing a single cup of coffee if need be . This may be the year that I need to invest in a snowblower . I can think of a million reasons why it would be a good idea to own one . But something nags at me . The resources used to build it and then the energy used to power it . Also , my trusty shovel never breaks down or needs to be repaired . It is quiet and doesn 't send wafts of gasoline smell all over the neighborhood . Just like you don 't need a clothes dryer to dry your clothes , you don 't need a snowblower to clear your driveway . No matter how great the want feels , you really don 't need something if you can do the job without it . It all works out . Expending my own personal energy to hang clothes or shovel the drive gives me a greater level of fitness than simply letting machines do all the work . I need to remind myself that it really does feel good to spend time outdoors in the cold . Pushing the snow across the drive , lifting and tossing it into a growing pile . Finishing the job gPosted by With it just a few days past the winter solstice , it didn 't take long for the cold temperatures and snow to really kick in . We had brutal cold over the weekend with a high of - 3 on Sunday . Today it is snowing with about 3 - 5 " expected . Above is a view from my front door with snowflakes filling the air . The snow is even making it hard to count the birds at my feeders . I participate in Project Feeder Watch through the Cornell Lab of Ornithology by monitoring and reporting the number and kinds of birds that visit my backyard . I have got to get out and put more seed in my feeders so that it doesn 't run out . Even though birds are adapted to surviving winter weather without human intervention , I fear that I have conditioned them to rely on my seed . Speaking of winter survival for birds , I have picked up a book called " Winter World , the Ingenuity of Animal Survival " by Bernd Heinrich . This book has gotten good reviews from Amazon and I am looking forward to starting it just after I finish shoveling the driveway this afternoon . Posted by When schools are closed like they were today due to snow , the neighborhood kids are out in force , making forts , throwing snowballs , and sledding . I love watching all of the different ways that kids interact with snow . Laying in it making snow angels , digging it , sliding on it , marching in it , tasting it , packing it , totally interacting , immersing themselves in this wonderful gift from the sky . On days like this , there are few children left inside , and I am hopeful that these snow experiences will help to foster a connection to the joys of nature for our children . I wondered when not having a dryer was going to get me and it came this past Saturday . My son and his friends had been playing outside in the snow and had come inside to warm up . As I started to make them some hot chocolate , they began to strip off their wet snowpants and coats and gloves . Without thinking I started to say , " throw those things in the dryer . . . " . Suddenly I remembered that while I could warm them up with hot chocolate , no longer having a working dryer meant I would not be able to dry and warm up their snow gear . Unlike years past when it felt good to send them back outside with both their gear and bodies warmed , this year I would have to send them back out into the snow with everything soaking wet and cold . YUCK ! It was enough to make me want a dryer for Christmas . Well , my son and his friends have been in and out of the house many times refueling on hot chocolate since last weekend and so far they don 't seem to mind that I can 't warm up their clothing with a dryer when they stop in . If I can just get myself to feel O . K . with it , then I can get past this desire to buy a dryer . Unfortunately , it is the little things like this , the desire for perceived comfort that generates the want , which results in the purchase . Wish me luck in staying strong . Posted by As winter approached , I wondered if it was really going to be possible to manage without a dryer . From what I have read from other folks experiences , winter line drying has meant stringing lines in the basement or drying things outdoors in the cold and finishing them off indoors while draped over furniture . Because my washing machine is located on the first floor , walking my wet clothing down into the basement to dry on lines seemed like a lot of extra work and I knew once I got it down there , I would never be inclined to retrieve it . My outdoor line that I used when the weather was warmer , was just steps from the laundry room which made the drying job simple and possible . I think the key as I move my drying operation indoors for the winter is to continue to keep things simple and enjoyable . Then I will never be tempted to fall back on the dryer . Last week , I figured out a way to hang two loads in my 8x8 laundry room but sometimes it is necessary for me to do the weekly washing of three loads in one day . Well this afternoon , I hung my entire weeks wash up by stringing an additional line across the room and more efficiently hanging the shorter items from a wire shelf that runs above the washer and dryer . Now I feel like I have mastered the art of winter drying and don 't think that I will ever have a need for a dryer again . Goodbye dryer . . . for good ! ! ! All of my experiences with line drying outdoors can be found by clicking here . Looks like I am moving my laundry drying operation indoors for the winter . While it was sunny and 41 yesterday , my clothes hanging outside on the line never did get completely dry and I ended up re - hanging them inside to finish them off . I think that the sun lays too far down in the sky at this time of year and my clothesline doesn 't get the sun it needs for as long as it needs given the colder temperatures . Even just a few weeks back , I was able to dry at 41 degrees and sunny , but the sun was just that much higher in the sky . Once we get past the winter solstice and the days get longer , I will bring my wash back outdoors . Moving my drying indoors does present some challenges given that I wash at least 3 loads a week . I have figured out a way to hang a total 2 loads of laundry at a time in my laundry room and because the room has a south facing window , things dry fairly fast in there . Larger bedsheets present some problems but I can string them across the room using a combination of hooks and clothespins . It will simply require some creative planning . Creative planning is really all that has been required to make living without a dryer possible . When my dryer broke at the beginning of the summer , I didn 't have a clue about how to go about all of this , but things fell into place fairly easily . Because I didn 't have a working dryer to fall back on when things got tough , I just made it work . Here are a few bits of information I have discovered along the way to make living without a dryer easier : - reduce the sheer amount of laundry that goes into your wash in the first place . Don 't wash clothing until it needs to be washed . Many items can be worn several days before laundering . This is especially important for kids to understand when they seem to think it is easier to wear something once and then throw it into the hamper . I take things out of the dirty wash pile and give them back to my son to put in his closet if they don 't pass the " dirty enough " test . - Don 't wash bedsheets or towels as often . Believe me , you can go muPosted by Am I committed or crazy ? According to weather . com , the temperature in Chicago was 29 degrees this morning when I was hanging my clothes out on the line , with a feel - like temp of 19 . I wondered then what the feel - like temperature was for my hands as they repeatedly dipped into my laundry basket full of wet clothing and pinned it to the line . Based on how frozen my hands were as I came back insidethe house , they must have been around 10 degrees at least ! I can see where a pair of warm gloves would come in handy . It was five months ago to the day that my dryer gave out and I have been exclusively line drying all of my clothes since then . This really hasn 't been an accomplishment given the sun kissed days of summer , with its balmy breezes , perfect for line drying . No , the real accomplishment as I see it will come this winter as I tackle outdoor winter line drying . There is a great website devoted to the cause of clotheslines called Project Laundry Listhttp : / / www . laundrylist . org / where they discuss drying clothes outdoors in the winter amongst many other clothesline topics . Here is their response to the question , " Can clothes be hung out to dry in the winter ? " In northern climates , people often ask , " What do you do in the winter time ? " Ironically , historic districts are one of the prevalent places that restrict or even ban clotheslines . We ask , " What do you think people did 100 years ago ? " Because of sublimation , it is possible to hang out on many below - freezing days . As long as it 's sunny , your sheets and other laundry will dry quickly . You just need tough fingers ! We suggest purchasing a wooden drying rack or getting another apparatus for indoors . So , I wondered , did people 100 years ago hang their clothes outside all winter long , or did they hang them in a basement or a sheltered semi - warm place ? Also , what is sublimation ? The Library of Congress website http : / / www . loc . gov / rr / program / journey / household - transcript . html offers up information of what winter line drying was like in the mid - nineteenth century . Here is an excerPosted by I spent yesterday out at Red Oaks nature preserve located along the Fox River with my unschooling group . After they had all left and things were quiet , I went back along the path we had traveled and took these pictures . The weather was perfect and the leaves were at their peak , thus making it difficult to leave . Everything slows right down when I am surrounded by nature . My to do list seems less pressing and I am at peace . Nature settles my soul . This beautiful weather is forecast for the next week and I am going to take advantage of it and get outside into another nature preserve . It won 't be long before the cold and snow of winter blows in , bringing a different version of beauty with it . Posted by Working their way through a large stand of tall reeds near the edge of a small pond , my son and his friend are drawn in by the lure of the " green green forest " . Urged further and further into the unknown , wondering what lay ahead , they make their way toward a group of large trees swaying in the distance . They have never pushed this far into the forest before and the fear of what they may encounter makes them become more and more hesitant with each step . Suddenly , a large roar leaps out at them and the ground begins to shake . They turn around and are about to run when they realize it is only a freight train lumbering nearby on the Union Pacific tracks bound for Chicago . But the scare is enough to make them turn back and take refuge in their tree fort , leaving the forest and pond to explore another day . Their fort , assembled in a large oak tree , just down the embankment from the railroad tracks , has been built and abandoned by different neighborhood kids over the years . It is somewhat of a community tree fort , owned by nobody , but loved by all . This scrap of the natural world in which the tree fort resides , bounded by railroad tracks , a pond and a parcel of undeveloped land , is a haven for not only wildlife but for nature deprived kids growing up in the suburbs of Chicago . Most suburban kids being raised on poison perfect lawns don 't experience the wildness of nature , the beauty of it . Their yards don 't offer up many opportunities to explore and figure out how the natural world works , to fall in love with the rough bark of a tree , the rushing of a stream , or being tucked deep into the woods . How can these children learn to appreciate nature , fall in love with it , and consequently want to protect it , if they can not spend time in it ? That was my concern for my own son when I first read " Last Child in the Woods : Saving our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder " by Richard Louv . Louv speaks of how important it is for our children to have wild places to explore at their own pace , a place where they can spend timPosted by Something changed with me when my brother died . Not sure what it was , just a feeling that what mattered to me yesterday no longer does , and that what didn 't matter seems to now . As a result , I don 't have much to say about environmental concerns right now . But , because I care so deeply for the environment , I know I will be back to this blog soon . While I have been very good at making many changes to my life that support the environment , one change that has been difficult in coming for me has been the use of cloth bags for shopping . For some reason , I just can not make the bags part of my routine . I either leave the bags at home or leave them in the car when I go into the store . It can be embarrassing when I see many other folks successfully using their cloth bags at the checkout counter while the clerk asks me if I want paper or plastic . I want to scream that I want neither but without my bags in hand , I can 't . There have been times when I have gathered up my purchases in my hands to avoid the use of plastic bags , balancing bananas , bread and butter while the cashier looks on , wondering why I want to put myself through this act . It feels like my care for the environment is an act too when I can 't even remember to do this one simple earth - care step . Last Friday was an exception . I remembered my bags , but forgot to take them into the store . I cursed as I stepped up to the checkout line , but this time , I made myself run back out to the car to get them . leaving my son to ring the groceries at one of those self serve cashier stations . I arrived back in the store , just before my 12 year old attempted to ring up the beer as a worried cashier looked on . This habit of using cloth bags will come hard for me but it makes me realize that different habits are harder for different people . It all just takes time as I move toward embracing new habits that may not feel comfortable at first , but eventually will become part of who I am . Yesterday morning , I picked up these peaches from a farmer at my local Farmer 's Market . The farmer was wearing a shirt and hat that said " Sustainable Farm " just under the name of his orchard which made me , and I am sure many of the other folks lined up to buy his produce , think his sweet cherries , raspberries , and peaches were raised organically . When I asked the farmer if his peaches were organic , he told me that they were not , and that he used Integrated Pest Management ( IPM ) methods on them , which tended to result in the use of less chemicals than conventionally grown peaches . He explained that all chemical use fell on a spectrum , from organic chemicals falling in the - 5 range to conventional chemicals falling just below the 100 range . He said that his IPM methods placed his peaches in the 30 range , meaning that his peaches had far less chemical residue than conventionally produced peaches . I asked him if I bought his peaches and peeled them before I ate them if it I would remove all of the chemicals and he told me that I would - that the chemical could not get beyond the peel . Having always understood sustainable to mean organic , I then questioned this farmer about the sustainable farm label on his shirt when he clearly wasn 't an organic farmer . He explained that he could call himself sustainable because he used sustainable practices to care for his land , which I felt was really a misnomer given that you can 't possibly be caring for the land when you are polluting it with toxic chemicals . I am not sure if was my hunger for fresh local peaches or the farmer 's convincing argument that I would not be harmed by the peaches if I peeled them , but I soon found myself carting home some fresh peaches to enjoy . Problem is , something didn 't set right with me , and later that night , I began to do some research . I had two nagging questions : 1 ) How could the farmer call himself sustainable if he used chemicals ? 2 ) Are peaches that have been doused with lower doses of chemicals using IPM methods really rendered harmless by peelinPosted by I find it ironic that I can hear the whine of the mosquito spray trucks , belching a thick cloud of chemicals on every surface in my town , just as I start this post . While my city 's mission statement tells me that they will look out for my health , safety and welfare , I am made to feel otherwise when they send out the following newsflash notifying me of their intent to spray the chemical Anvil for mosquito control this evening : NOTICE OF SCHEDULED ADULT MOSQUITO INSECTICIDE SPRAYINGPUBLIC WORKS DEPARTMENT Notice of Scheduled Adult Mosquito Insecticide SprayingPlease be advised that the City , utilizing the services of Clarke Environmental Mosquito Management Inc . , will be implementing a citywide application of insecticide during the period from dusk to dawn tonight , Wednesday , July 30 , 2008 . The City and Clarke Utilize a Synthetic Pyrethroid named ANVIL for purposes of controlling the adult mosquito population . ANVIL is safe to humans if applied in strict conformance with the product labeling . Those individuals with asthma and other respiratory conditions are advised to stay indoors with windows closed during and at least 1 hour following the misting application . ANVIL is applied by Ultra Low Volume ( ULV ) misting equipment that accurately controls the size of the droplets ( 50 microns ) and the application rates ( 0 . 21 to 0 . 62 of an ounce of ANVIL per acre ) . The only conditions that will cause a re - scheduling of the ULV application are the presence of precipitation , high winds or temperatures at the time of application below 55 degrees F . Should a re - scheduling of the ULV application be required , please check the City Web Page for current status . The only way that residents of our town are told about this mosquito spraying is if they sign up for notification via email . Many many are unaware of this program and are kept in the dark . When I first moved to town , I did not know about the spraying program , and would wake up to the sound of the spray trucks , chemical smell drifting into my windows . I would rush around closing allPosted by I hooked a rain barrel up to the side of my house last year and it really was quite easy to do . Using a hack saw , I cut off the bottom section of my downspout , placed my terra cotta colored rain barrel on cinder blocks , hooked up a hose to a spigot on the bottom of the barrel and voila , free water to use for watering my garden ! I soon found that I felt a connection with the rain that emptied into the barrel after each storm and hated to waste a single drop . I had done the collecting of this water and I began to cherish it and see the value in it . Unlike the outdoor tap water which seemed overly plentiful as it gushed out of the tap , the water coming out of the barrel flowed slower , taking it 's time and feeling more prized . Becoming attached to this rainwater made me aware of the disconnect I felt towards my city water and I began to see that I should do a better job of appreciating and conserving that water as well . A year after I installed my rain barrel , a local committee that I belong to began to sell rain barrels at festivals in our community so that others could take advantage of collecting the water that fell on their yards . Pictured above is my son Jimmy and his girlfriend Megan stenciling a demonstration rain barrel in one of our booths this summer . Our committee has also encouraged local business owners in our downtown to purchase and decorate rain barrels which they then place in front of their business in order to create more awareness about them . As a result of our efforts , people in our town will be holding onto the rain that falls on their property , rather than letting it rush downstream , which will help to recharge our local aquifers and also to reduce the demand on outdoor watering . Drop by drop , I am constantly amazed at all of the simple little things that one can do to bring about real change . Yesterday my son Ryan , who is homeschooled , told me that his friend down the street , who attends the local middle school , is bored with summer . This friend told Ryan that school gives him something to do and now that he doesn 't have school , he is bored . It was not long ago that I heard Ryan express that same sentiment . Before I took Ryan out of school two years ago , he would also find himself bored as the long unscheduled days of summer wore on . After being held in the rigid environment of school all year , being told how to spend each minute , it was hard to for Ryan to transition to the carefree days of summer because he did not know how to fill up the huge blocks of time he was suddenly faced with . The many hours spent in school , learning what the school curriculum deemed important , gave Ryan precious little time to learn about who he was or determine what type of activities he would enjoy exploring if given the chance . It takes lots and lots of down time to slow down enough to hear your inner voice pulling you toward your interests . It took my son well over a year after being taken out of school to gather his thoughts and begin to express how he would like to spend his time . Initially he waited for me to guide him in his choices , just as his teacher had , but after many months he began to find his way . As he discovered that he was in charge of how he would like to spend his day , he began to feel empowered and after that things just kind of snowballed . In the last nine months , my son has taken up four new activities , all of his own choosing , which he is happily pursuing this summer . At first it was archery and after gaining confidence in that choice and understanding that he was free to pursue anything he desired , in quick succession over a month 's time , he added fishing , skateboarding and then guitar . As this summer winds down and we head into fall , Ryan 's day will not change much as he continues to pursue these activities and others . His interests will guide his learning then as it does now and this freedom Posted by I have never grown garlic before and my first attempt turned out wonderfully ! I think that I will become a garlic farmer and grow only garlic from now on , especially after the failures I have been experiencing in the lettuce department this year . Last year my swiss chard , black seeded simpson lettuce , and beets were fantastic . This year they failed , even after two tries . I hope to replant them later this summer in another spot . At least my mesculan mix and mustard are doing well and lucky for me that I like spicy lettuce ! Our house is powered entirely by alternative energy . We don 't have a windmill in our backyard nor solar panels on our roof but we use clean energy just the same because of our affiliation with a company called Community Energy http : / / www . newwindenergy . com / . We purchase wind power Renewable Energy Credits ( REC 's ) from Community Energy and they ensure that clean wind energy is generated and delivered to the power grid on our behalf , ultimately making the mix of electricity in the power grid cleaner . By buying wind energy from Community Energy we increase the amount of pollution - free wind generated electricity , and decrease the need for energy generation from other non - renewable polluting sources . The wind power REC 's we purchase from Community Energy cost $ 2 . 50 per block of 100 kWh in addition to what we pay our electric company . We began by purchasing four blocks of wind energy per month in early 2006 when our average monthly kilowatt - hours ( kWh ) used was approximately 850 , so that we would be powered 50 % by the wind . Late last year , we switched all of the lights in our house to CFL 's which reduced our monthly kWhs by 100 . We anticipate our recent switch away from the electric clothes dryer to clothesline will save an additional 50 kWh per month which will bring us down to a monthly average of 700 kWh . In order to be 100 % wind power , we now buy 7 blocks of wind energy REC 's per month for a total cost of $ 17 . 50 . By reducing our electric bill by a total of 150 KWh per month through conservation measures , we have shaved $ 15 off of our electric bill which practically pays for the 7 blocks of wind energy REC 's . By making these simple changes we are encouraging wind farms to be built which will ensure cleaner air for the future . Woof ! Welcome to my garden . This is where my mom grows my most favorite food of all . . . tomatoes ! I first discovered fresh vine grown tomatoes about two years ago when I wrapped my mouth around what I thought was a red ball . My mom told me to keep my paws off the goods but I didn 't listen . Now that it is summer again , I keep watch over the tomato patch each day , sniffing around the vines and waiting . I know it won 't be long before it is filled with those warm wonderful red orbs . My mom is so sweet , growing these treats especially for me . I just finished reading Gina Olszowski 's book " Now Coming To A Town Near You " http : / / www . atownnearyou . com / which gives voice to the changes that urban sprawl brings to small rural towns here in the Midwest . Her book is filled with the images of subdivisions filled with row upon row of identical house boxes containing a single tree in the parkway , flat lawn stretching out to a stark white curb , newly paved streets beyond . I am immediately struck by the sterile qualities of these subdivisions and find myself comparing them to older more established neighborhoods full of charm and character . Today 's developers seem to lack imagination , or maybe they , like many others in our culture , are too profit driven to care about aesthetics . These newly built home boxes , called that by me because they contain few windows and tend to look more like a box than a home , seem to rise up out of the ground , unconnected to their surroundings , an ugly bump on the landscape . I can 't help but think of what has been taken away in the creation of these subdivisions . The farm fields with their red barns and white farmhouses , or the woodlots with their many animal inhabitants . Prairies filled with grasses and forbs blowing in the wind , butterflies and birds circling overhead . I am also struck by how this development comes to be in the first place . Unfortunately , when new businesses first come to a rural town , they are welcomed . Living for so long without big box stores and their huge supply of goods , rural town residents are excited about the possibility of not having to drive many miles to the grocery or hardware store . What they may not think about until it is too late , is how these stores are going to change the feel of their town . In the blink of an eye , development steamrolls into town and rips out its character . Gina 's book is a wake up call to small towns that have not been bulldozed over yet and a call to reclaim those towns that have already been transformed by urban sprawl . Intact rural towns need to be aware of what may be coPosted by Here is what greeted me on my birthday the other day . Animal print cloth bags filled with garden gloves , books and clothing accompanied by homemade cards produced by my husband and sons . We have been using cloth gift bags for Christmas for about 15 years . . . using the same set of bags over and over again . . . laying them out on Christmas Eve for Santa to fill , but it was only in the last few years that we extended that tradition to include birthdays . Each of us picked out a favorite fabric which I then made into a total of four bags . The bags are then used throughout the year for each of our birthdays . The homemade card tradition came about as a result of me wanting something personal from my family . For many years when they would ask me what I wanted for my birthday , I would tell them that the only thing I wanted was a poem that they had written . While they balked at the effort required for that , they didn 't resist my suggestion to make up a card . I treasure each of the cards they have made , a true reflection of each of their personalities . For me , trying to live a more sustainable life means forming connections , whether it is with with the local farmer that grows my food , or my child when they give of themselves through a homemade card . It also means bringing more meaning to the way I do things . Using cloth birthday bags over and over again year to year , makes the whole process take on a different feel . I am connected to the cloth bags with their beautiful bird or dog prints and the history and story behind them , much more than store bought wrapping paper that will be ripped off in a minute and thrown away . Posted by When you first get married , you never really think about how long 23 years is . You are just caught up in the love and the now and how it feels right . But on this side of it , many years into a marriage , you have this incredible journey to look back on . My husband and I met in Washington D . C . and started our lives together in Oregon , writing our vows on the coast and building our relationship on the snowy glades of Mt . Hood . Our first child was born in Massachusetts , just two hours from my husband 's parent 's home . They were with us the day that my son came into the world , the first and only grandchild that my father - in - law ever knew . We purchased our first home in Kentucky where I planted my first flower garden and began to collect antiques for our home . After that , a move to Illinois , gave us the opportunity to live near my family while experiencing the birth of our second son . A move back out west into the mountains of Colorado , where we spent many hours hiking in the front range , allowed us a chance to experience nature first hand . It wasn 't long before we were then off to Georgia with the beautiful bird calls in the morning and the close proximity to the ocean . We now find ourselves once again in Illinois , a kind of coming home for me . I am a midwesterner at heart , having been born in Michigan and raised on cornfields , red barns , summer storms and small towns . Over the years , this 23 year journey of ours feels full and rich because it has been filled with family and friends and spending time in the natural world . Those are the things that have been important to us and all that we have ever needed . So today , on our anniversary , we will celebrate it in much the way that we celebrate every day , a shared cup of coffee , maybe a walk in the prairie near our home , and time spent with our two boys . I am slowly winning the battle of the lawn . Not the battle most wage , where week after week , in an effort to have the perfect lawn , chemicals are applied , blades are cut , and grass is watered . No , my battle involves killing the grass in an attempt to make way for native flowers and shrubs so that I can provide a welcoming environment for the wildlife that calls my place home . Each year , as more and more prairie or natural areas are lost to development here in Illinois , wildlife is being edged out and valuable habitat destroyed . Sara Stein in her book " Noah 's Garden " was the first person to make me aware of how I could work against this tide by creating wildlife habitats in my own backyard . Places where animals and insects and birds could forage for food or raise their young . Sara 's dream was that every yard in each neighborhood would leave a bit of their yard natural so that wildlife would have ribbons of interconnected wild spaces in which to live . With that thinking in mind , over the last 3 years , I have gotten rid of 1 , 300 square feet of lawn and replaced it with plants that provide food or homes for wildlife . Through the National Wildlife Federation 's backyard wildlife habitat program , which provides all the information needed to create places welcoming to animals , my yard was certified as a backyard wildlife habitat . The NWF program shows how simple it is to provide for wildlife . All you need to do is provide elements from each of the following areas : Food Sources . For example : Native plants , seeds , fruits , nuts , berries , nectar . Water Sources . For example : Birdbath , pond , water garden , streamPlaces for Cover . For example : Thicket , rockpile , birdhouse . Places to Raise Young . For example : Dense shrubs , vegetation , nesting box , pond . Sustainable Gardening . For example : Mulch , compost , rain garden , chemical - free fertilizer . More information on this program can be found at : http : / / www . nwf . org / backyard / There are also many wonderful books written on this subject . Some of the books that I found particularly hePosted by In an attempt to reduce my dependence on cars , I decided to implement a plan of car free days at the beginning of this summer . But after finding that car free days simply shifted when I drove but did not reduce how much I drove , I decided to commit to being car free for all trips within three miles of my home . This meant that I would use my bike for all trips to the grocery store , library , coffee shops , and hardware store . My plan worked for about a week . After many frustrating bike trips back and forth between home and store for forgotten items , I hung it up . I was obviously addicted to the car culture which allowed me to not have to think before backing out of the driveway . So what if I was only buying enough groceries for one day or forgot something for tomorrow 's dinner , I could easily run out later . But this way of thinking did not work when I switched to the bike . I needed to change my approach to all errands and get organized but instead , I got off the bike . That was until yesterday . My son and I had plans to meet friends in downtown Chicago to see the play " Wicked " and while I knew that we would be taking the train from our town to the city , I figured that I would take the car from our house to the train station . That all changed when the day dawned perfect for bike riding . We quickly shifted gears and rode our bikes the three miles to the train . It felt so good to be pedaling down the road , and once at our destination , it was especially good to see so many bikes locked up at the bike racks at the coffee shop in town and at the train station just down the street . Obviously , during my time away from my bike , when I had continued to spew CO2 emissions into the air with my car , others had gotten the message and had switched to greener transportation . The Chicago area is fortunate to have so many great forms of public transportation and bike paths . It really makes it easy to get out of the car and form a different kind of relationship with the area you are traveling through . Our train trip downtown , about Darcy A few weeks ago , our town 's Natural Resources Committee , of which I am a member , had our 3rd annual River Cleanup . As always , I was most impressed with the youth that participated . Members of our high school football team and a girl scout troop worked many hours hauling debris out of the river and trash from along its banks . It is a credit to their coach and troop leaders that these kids were encouraged to give something back to their community . By working together , we hauled pop cans , plastic bottles , old tires , wood , etc . . . from the site which went a long ways toward improving the health of the river that runs through our town . Posted by Every Thursday morning since October of last year , my son has been taking archery lessons from a wonderful man named Bill . On the first day of class , Bill told all of the kids about how to hunt for mushrooms in the wild and how to prepare them . Subsequent classes brought more stories about Bill 's life , all of which were colorful and entertaining . Using sound effects and a smile , he told the kids about getting shot just above the eye with an arrow when he was young . Another time he explained what it was like to sleep in bunk beds at his aunt 's house right next to the railroad tracks . He would be tucked into bed on one side of the room but by morning , the rumbling of the trains all night would have made the beds bump bump all the way to the other side . My favorite story was about this friend of his that picked up a dead deer alongside the road and put it in his van . It appears that the deer , rather than being dead , was just stunned and it came awake while the guy was driving down the road and began to thrash about trying to kill the driver or get out of the van , whichever came first . Of course Bill 's animation and gestures while telling the story , made it especially entertaining . Bill is also an avid outdoors man and is brimming with hunting stories , how to keep ticks off of you when in the woods , explanations about how to catch fish and clean them , and what types of natural insect repellents are available . The kids in the archery class are mesmerized when Bill tells his stories . They are not the typical stories that kids hear in today 's world where many conversations center around shopping and what is on TV . They are stories of a life that my son would know little of if it were not for Bill . Bill 's favorite motto is , " if you don 't like the results , consider your actions " and he uses it constantly . He says this motto applies to archery as well as everything in life . In archery , he says if you don 't like where your arrow hit the target , consider how you held the bow before you shot . In regard to life , he gives the exaPosted by As a native of Michigan , I summered in these parts I now call home . I have been searching for myself and a sense of place for the 35 years I 've been gone and little did I know , I just had to return to my roots to find these things . I am a Naturalist in training , writer and wildlife gardener opening myself up to the lessons of the natural world to discover how to find authentic connection in an unconnected world . By finding community through local groups , tramping through nature preserves and gardens , visiting spiritual centers that understand the wisdom of the natural world , eating local food and assisting those who want to care for wildness , I find a connection with this land I live on , a sense of place . As well as an intimacy that creates a desire to save and protect it for future generations . I feel the natural world holds many lessons on how to live a more authentic and simple life . Spending time in nature allows me to slow down and take notice . Click on image of woodland path above for a list of resources discussing the natural world . I can feel the spirit of life when walking along a woodland path , more so than when surrounded by the concrete canyons of a city . But the place I feel spirit most is on the edges , perched between the rock towers man has created and the soft beauty nature has designed . For here , I can see all of life . For the spirit of life is in all . For a list of resources discussing spiritual explorations , please click on the picture above . Unless I know and love the natural world , I really have no motivation to protect it . Unless I understand that each of my actions ultimately impacts nature , I feel less worried about my actions . It is all connected . Through learning about nature , and spending time in it , I come to understand how important it is to embrace sustainable practices in my life . Click on image of clothes racks above for a list of resources that discuss how to live a more sustainable lifestyle as well as help to conserve the environment . Being in close , meaningful relationships with others has pulled at me since I was a child . Forming community despite frequent moves has been a challenge but I do so through membership in my local UU church and my involvement in nearby homeschooling communities . Friends and family keep me grounded whether they are near or far . Midwestern wetlands , forests , and fields of meadow spoke to me long ago as a young child . My senses were filled with the sight of tadpoles in the pond , the smell of damp leaves in the woods , and the feel of soft grass underfoot . These experiences imprinted on me a love of the natural world and cemented a bond in place that remains with me today . Saving the world is not about making sacrifices . It is about joy . Finding joy as we reconnect with our spirit , the natural world , the education of our children , the earth in which we grow our food , our sense of place and those in our community . I believe the ecological mess we are in is due to our disconnection from these things , forced on us by the distraction of our busy modern world . Finding a way back takes us on a path of renewal and connection that brings a love for the world and for one another , rewards that go beyond what any consumer good can promise . PoppyThe Poppy symbolizes death and rebirth in a very positive fashion . The red color of the petals symbolizes the life force and the fact that it will be renewed from generation to generation . In a reading the Poppy would symbolize regeneration and if the person inquired about is having a difficult time right now , then things are likely to change for the better in a very short space of time . " The spirit of life is a mysterious force of love and grace , found in nature , community and within ourselves . We are all a part of it , and all exist within an interdependent web of life . " - author unknown " In Nature Spirituality , followers seek a feeling of oneness with other living things , with animals , trees , the ocean , sun , moon , and earth . They recognize forces of nature created our physical bodies and that it 's creative abilities and powers are within us . They recognize all nature , including human beings , combine as one collective subconscious that is life affirming . They recognize the earth to be alive and conscious as she is " Mother " . We can connect , pray and communicate with her directly using trees , plants , animals , birds , crystals , streams , water , etc . They recognize beings of nature have wisdom that is differently and perhaps even more ancient and wise than human knowledge . They recognize that other life forms are earlier , evolutionary prototypes of the human being . They recognize that this deep eternal wisdom must be learned by all to preserve our planetary environment , Earth Mother . " " A genuine elder possesses a good deal of wildness , perhaps more than any adult , adolescent or child . Our human wildness is our spontaneity , our untamed vitality , our innocent presence , our resistance to oppression , and our rule - transcending vivacity and self - reliance that social convention can never contain . We are designed to grow deeper into that wildness as we mature , not to recede from it . When we live soulcentrically , immersed in a lifelong dance with the mysteries of nature and psyche , our wildness flourishes . A wild elderhood is not a cantankerous old age or a devil - may - care attitude , nor is it stubbornness or dreamy detachment . Rather , the wildness of elderhood is a spunky exuberance in unmediated , ecstatic communion with the great mysteries of life - the birds , fishes , tress , mammals , the stars and galaxies , and the dream of the Earth " My Other Blog :
|
We cannot find account with that email . Please check the email and try again or sign up for an account . ( ex : email @ mail . com ) Mark is a tall , lanky , 20 - something guy . He works hard . Occasionally , plays hard . Loves to fish . He 's on the quiet side , well - liked by his friends . He has had several relationships , but not yet found " the one . " He 's curious about learning , although he didn 't make straight A 's in school . He had to study . But when he gets something , he really gets it . Now , his boss counts on him to get the job done , and done right . He lost his best friend several years ago , who was hit by a drunk driver . That 's how I first met him . He was trying to cope with the death of his buddy , and needed help . He got through that , although it was tough . Depression runs in his family . An uncle died by suicide . His family was traumatized by the near death of his sister , years ago . Everything changed in the family after that , very subtly . But it was never the same . His folks turned their attention to her , and were often critical of his efforts to please . He downplays all this , questioning whether it 's all that important to mention . Related Stories Mark has an ongoing struggle with depression . But you would never have known it . Then he took a risk , and came into therapy . He 's beginning to recognize depression for what it is , and when it 's affecting his reasoning . He 's catching himself , as he realizes the negative messages he has absorbed . He 's connecting the dots between how he responds to authority , competition , women - and his early childhood experiences . He 's even beginning to open up about it , meeting a guy friend for coffee before work . " We met around 6 : 30 at the Stop And Go . We talked about how both of us can get really depressed . " I was happily - floored . Two guys . Meeting for an early cup of java . Talking about depression . These men don 't look depressed to anyone . They 're out there , working their jobs . Getting things accomplished . But they are still searching for the reason why they drink too much , or rarely feel content . Andrew Solomon , who writes eloquently about depression explains , " The opposite of depression is not happiness , but vitality . " MIGHTY PARTNER RESOURCES Solomon is describing classic depression . This is when the smallest of tasks becomes intolerably and irrationally difficult to accomplish . But there is a kind of depression that 's different . People who are out there functioning in life , often extremely well . Like Mark . No one , not even him , sees him as depressed . Perfectly Hidden Depression is what I call it . If classic depression is an absence of vitality , Perfectly Hidden Depression is an absence of self - acceptance . It is unacceptable to a person that they could be depressed . They want to deny the way they truly feel or think - their inner fatigue , the thoughts that they 're not good enough . Sometimes , even , that death will be welcome . He ( or she ) keeps secret the abuse that he suffered , or other traumas or loss he experienced . He knows it happened , but the impact of it isn 't recognized . The feelings are rigidly stored away in an almost inaccessible place in his mind , left to gather dust and be discounted . So he hides . He hides behind a job well done or a family that looks perfect . He hides from the stigma that still exists . He exerts tremendous amounts of energy to look great to everyone who knows him , to be outwardly the epitome of success . Kevin Breel talks about it eloquently in this Ted Talk . Related Stories This is not only a male problem . Plenty of women do the same thing . People with classic depression are overwhelmed by the loss or difficulty of their lives . They can 't function , and are lost . People with Perfectly Hidden Depression are overwhelmed by the idea that anyone might find out that they aren 't all that they seem - that the back story of their lives might be discovered . They function far too well . They actively deny the importance of any pain . And carry on . Therapy is different with these two problems . With classic depression , the goal is to help someone reconnect with their external world - to reengage with their families , their friends and their purpose , to stop the withdrawal and the implosion of their very being , and to ease the misery of thinking that can be filled with self - loathing and hopelessness . With Perfectly Hidden Depression , the goal is to help someone engage with their inner self - to acknowledge and work through their denial of pain - to aid in a reconnection with how their early experiences affected them , and to reassign their worth , not to what they accomplish , but to their own value . To help them find a way to accept that whatever pain they have doesn 't have to be hidden , but can be explored . Admitting pain doesn 't make you less of a human being . It makes you human . If this is you , please risk getting help . Or admitting it to yourself . It 's worth it . You are worth it . You can read more of Dr . Margaret on her website or on YouTube . Continue reading this story . . . 28k28k RELATED VIDEOS I like to think of dysthymia as a shadow of depression that 's always creeping up from behind me , following my every step . Until suddenly , it 's right in front of me , and everything around me is covered in this shadow . After a few days , it disappears again . I know it 's still behind me because I can feel it . It can throw a shadow over happy moments or rather , moments when I 'm supposed to be happy . Yet most people , including me for years , don 't notice the shadow until it gets too close . Dysthymia is often unrecognized and thus , it is also underdiagnosed . For a long time , it caused me to wonder what was wrong with me . I was depressed , but not " quite depressed enough " to call it depression , I thought . That 's why I try to tell friends and colleagues about my illness : To bring awareness . To show people depression comes in all shapes and sizes . To show that it doesn 't have to be this stereotypical thing like we see in the movies . Yet , talking about it on a personal level , beyond the facts and symptoms , is hard . Whenever I tell someone about how I feel , I wonder if they really believe me . After all , I don 't have scars on my wrists to prove I have depression . My panic attacks are happening inside of me . No nausea , no throwing up , no trembling body . There 's only this panic raging through my veins . I never missed a day of school or work because I couldn 't get out of bed . Related Stories It still feels like I have to prove my illness is real , not only to people around me but also to myself . Dysthymia can be such a subtle feeling , a feeling I have known for so long , but sometimes I just doubt myself . What if I am making this up ? Maybe I 'm overreacting ? There are people out there who have it so much worse . It 's frustrating and it 's scary . The better I cope with it , the more I doubt myself and the more I 'm afraid the shadow might come back and cover everything in darkness , like it did last year . It 's like I 've gotten so used to dysthymia being a part of my life over the past couple of years that I become anxious when it 's not around . I almost miss it . MIGHTY PARTNER RESOURCES One of my own friends had been struggling with depression without telling anyone , and she only felt comfortable enough talking about it after I did the same . It proves there is so much power in speaking up about my experiences , even though people might not always believe me . Image via Thinkstock . Continue reading this story . . . 335335 Kim van den Bosch Dear __________ , I wrote this for you . Today I am turning 18 . Eighteen is meant to be a big milestone , but it means extra when you feel like the past four years of your life have been constantly shifting between not living and living hell . It has been exhausting . For most of those four years , I woke up every morning with the feeling of dread . On most days , I didn 't want to get up . I didn 't feel like I was living ; I was simply trying to survive , one day at a time . I never imagined living past 18 , for I hoped the world would have ended by then . I didn 't want to die ; I just wanted all the pain to go away . It felt hopeless in the dark . But here I am today , a freshman in college , singing " Happy Birthday " to myself . I know you won 't take credit for this , but I wouldn 't have made it without you . It must be hard to understand someone who doesn 't understand herself . Someone who is still trying to figure out what the words " depression " and " anxiety " mean . Related Stories It must be hard to love someone who is hurting . Someone who tries so desperately to tear apart her body because feeling pain is better than feeling numb . It must be hard to care for someone who wanted to stay in the dark , even when she needed to be in the light . But you tried anyway . You made an effort to understand how I am feeling and how you can help me feel better . I absolutely hated talking about meetings with my therapist / psychiatrist , but I appreciate you for asking anyway . You continued to put up with me , and my many irrational fears , with incredible amounts of patience . You believed in me , even when I didn 't believe in myself . I didn 't give up on the hardest days because I remember you telling me you are proud of me and how far I have come ; I didn 't want to leave you disappointed . Thank you for pouring your love and care into me , both tender and tough , every day , but especially on the days I needed it the most . From you , I am learning to forgive myself and those who have hurt me , for you forgave me when I made mistakes and stepped across a line . MIGHTY PARTNER RESOURCES Thank you for giving me your time , whether it is spent sitting in silence , responding to my emails / texts , or drinking tea . You are always there , even when I cannot stop talking from being excited or am crying so hard that I can 't breathe . Thank you for being my safe haven , for I never felt alone or unsafe in your presence . I don 't know if you realize the important role you played and are still playing in my recovery process , but I hope this at least gives you an idea . You have stayed , even when I was so fixated on the people coming and going . Whether it has been four weeks or 14 years , I am still so thankful that you are a part of my life . Love , Candace If you or someone you know needs help , visit our prevention resources page . If you need support right now , call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 - 800 - 273 - 8255 . Image via Thinkstock Images Continue reading this story . . . 2k2k Candace Ng " God has a lot of grace for you , Amanda . And sometimes that grace comes in the form of a pill … " There are some words that are spoken over us , into us and through us , that take hold and affect our lives . For those of us who live with mental illness , a little grace is a precious offering . Ironically , Grace is my middle name . I am often reminded of the need for it in my relationship with myself . I struggled and have struggled with the thought of taking medication . I was determined , not even six months ago , to get started . Then , for some reason , I told my assigned psychiatrist I was fine . I didn 't need it . I was all good . It was probably just my hormones , indigestion or something . So , she told me to check in next month , and I was on my way , prescription - less . Well , I wasn 't OK . Somewhere , deep down , I knew that . You would never hear me say it aloud . No , no . I was just going to work harder at being " healthy , " and it would be fine . I don 't like to be told something in my life can 't be improved with hard work and determination . So , naturally , when I was told there was an organic , chemical defect in the way my brain worked , my first thought was how I was going to change my eating habits , sleeping habits and exercising habits and that would be enough . Related Stories More tea , less coffee . No alcohol . No sugar . No dairy . Daily exercise and eight plus hours of sleep a night . Drink more water . Find a new job . Reduce my stress levels . Meditate more . That will fix it . No meds needed . I had been doing all those things and more for awhile . It didn 't fix it . Sure , I improved a little the more intense the rules became . I also spent so much time trying to function on a basic level that I had no time for anything else . I still ended up in the passenger seat on a Sunday afternoon outside of a Trader Joe 's , utterly paralyzed by a deep depression and a tormenting anxiety . I still ended up sobbing over nothing . I still ended up with a real feeling of utter isolation and loneliness . I was still in real pain . MIGHTY PARTNER RESOURCES In short , the external did not matter . It was not life , my eating habits , how much I focused on being positive or strengthening my resolve . It was my brain . I needed help . So , I sought my pastor . I actually requested to counsel with him for reasons unrelated to my mental health issues , but they came up eventually . He could read between the lines . He told me something I will never forget . " God has a lot of grace for you , Amanda . And sometimes that grace comes in the form of a pill … " So here I am , submitted to that grace . I called my psychiatrist and I told her I was wrong . I did need help . I called my doctor . Even though I am afraid , I am not ashamed . I don 't tell a man with a broken arm to bury his pain . Why am I different ? Invisible disease is still disease . My pastor was right . We 're lucky . We live in a time when medical help is available . I don 't have to struggle without an answer . There 's grace for me . Image via Thinkstock . Continue reading this story . . . 1919 Amanda Grace Williams I 'm a Christian and I 'm not happy , and I 'm done feeling bad for it . I 'm done feeling guilty . I 'm done hiding it so I can continue to fit into the nice , neat and pleasant boxes people try to put me into . I 've found the problem with the Church is so often , if we don 't feel comfortable with something or we disagree with it , we avoid it like the plague . I 'm tired of that . I grew up not knowing there was a reason I felt so empty at times , thinking I really was just lazy , stupid , awkward and too forgetful . I never thought maybe there was a reason for how I acted . I was never told what depression was . I never heard the word until I did my own research . Now , I 'm not saying Christians are the only ones who are guilty of avoiding this subject . This is not the case at all , but as followers of Christ , it 's our job according to Isaiah 61 : 1 - 4 , " to bring good news to the oppressed , to bind up the brokenhearted , to proclaim liberty to the captives , and release to the prisoners . " Related Stories Who are the brokenhearted ? Who are the captives ? Many of them are the same people who we shun , who we " pray for " and do nothing else for or who we ask , " Why does she have to be so sad all the time ? " I 'm one of them . I 've lived most of my life a prisoner of depression and anxiety , trapped in my brain that said , " You 're worthless . You aren 't smart enough . You aren 't a good enough Christian . Why are you always so lazy ? Why are you so bad at socializing ? Why are you so bad at finding motivation to pray and read the Bible ? It must be your fault you feel so far away from God . " No one figured it out for me . I searched and searched until I realized there was an explanation and there are other people who understand exactly how I feel . I 've had to build my own community of support by opening up . I 've had to be more honest than I 've seen hardly anyone else in my life be before . MIGHTY PARTNER RESOURCES There have been times in my life when reading anything in the Bible that wasn 't Psalms or Isaiah didn 't feel like a comfort . Rather , it felt like a smack in the face reminder of all the " happiness " Christians nowadays preach , the happiness I didn 't know how to feel . Jesus didn 't preach shallow " happiness . " He preached hope . He specifically preached it to those people who were sick , dying , blind , lonely and hopeless . Since those are the people who need hope every single day to get them through . Sometimes , it 's hard to look at messages of joy when all you feel is emptiness . You don 't want verses full of praises and " inspiration . " You just want someone to say you 're going to get through this . You want someone to say you might not be OK , but you 're still loved and accepted . That 's the kind of message we should be teaching . And not only that , but we should be directly addressing the problems we ignore . We need to stop treating " suicide , " " self harm , " " eating disorder " and " addiction " as dirty words , but instead , we need to offer help to those who feel like this is their only option . We need to accept Christians can have a relationship with God and still be depressed . We need to quit telling people with anxiety to , " Stop being afraid . Jesus is with you . " Instead , we need to support them , ask them how we can help and listen when they answer us . Related Stories We need to stop shunning people with disabilities , sensory issues , learning disorders and chronic illnesses simply because they look and act different than what we may be used to . We need to stop blaming people with mental illnesses and disabilities for struggling . Because we 're here to help people . That 's our job . And to do this we need to acknowledge we 're all a little broken . And that 's OK . Image via Thinkstock . If you or someone you know needs help , visit our suicide prevention resources page . If you need support right now , call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 - 800 - 273 - 8255 . You can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting " START " to 741 - 741 . Continue reading this story . . . 796796 Susie Barber At 34 years old , I 've had countless jobs , and a lot of them are jobs people would be ( and are ) extremely content and happy to have gotten . I have left each and every one of them . I got the jobs because I am good at what I do . Customer service and sales are my forte and I 'm not ashamed to admit it . What I am ashamed to admit is I have never held a job for much longer than two years . I have never been able to see why I have been such a " job hopper . " Yet tonight , whilst reading some articles about depression and having one of my regular self - reflection moments , I realized something . Could my depression and anxiety have anything to do with it ? I had to write it down while I had the thought clearly in my mind . Looking back , I have begun every one of my jobs with extreme enthusiasm . I have excelled at anything I put my mind to , but after a period of on average six to 12 months I find myself getting worse at my job . I feel angry at myself because once I was brilliant , and now I am always making mistakes . Not only that , but I feel my superiors and sometimes my colleagues are " out to get me . " They don 't like me , don 't invite me to join them in social activities , seem to be critical of everything I do or worse make no comment whatsoever . Related Stories I get home and find myself unable to function , my personal hygiene goes out of the window and house work doesn 't even make the to - do list . I find solace in retail therapy and spend money that should be saved for bills on clothes and food on silly things I convince myself I need at the time . For example , I received a large inheritance in August 2015 . By January I had spent pretty much all of it . Most of which , I still cannot identify where it went . I have noticed a pattern in my job changes , and therein lies my epiphany . My depression sets in , and I begin to fail . I don 't concentrate on what I 'm doing . I don 't include myself in activities . I try to assert myself at work and end up alienating the people around me . That 's when I start looking for another job . I feel discriminated against , that people are prejudiced against me and on the occasions when I 've asked for help , I have felt it wasn 't forthcoming or that the company was just doing the " bare minimum " for me . In my last job , I even had at least three outbursts , one causing a director to have a quiet word of warning with me . I was there a total of nine months . MIGHTY PARTNER RESOURCES I saw a quote this evening that sums up these thoughts : " Depression lies . " It is so true . Had I not been depressed and just been overloaded , I could have asked for help and come back to my high - performing self . Instead , I let myself get further and further into the darkness , and finally end up finding another job , feeling like I 'm " bettering " myself . In reality , I was avoiding the issues all together . I would then start in another role and begin the cycle again . I am currently unemployed and signed off sick because of my depression and anxiety , which has happened only once before when I had a high - pressure job , which led me to a breakdown . I couldn 't even walk through the door of the office building without bursting into tears . I was eventually let go . Although , due to their management of the situation , I was able to turn that around and offer my resignation instead . Now , even the thought of going back to work both excites and terrifies me . I want to work . I have always worked , but I know I can 't handle the pressure without a strong mental health plan at my workplace . But even then , will I go back into my bad habits ? Related Stories My depression seems to have led me down a self - destructive path , which I only recognized 18 years after first starting to work . I am now left wondering , will I ever go back to work ? Can I find a job or a career I can be satisfied in ? I have begun a business with a friend of mine , and I worry if I am capable of running half a business . I want to succeed , but am I capable of it ? While I 'm certain I need at least some time to get my head together , I have seen job adverts and thought , " Oh , I could do that ! " Then , I get anxious I will try and fail again . I also feel depressed I can 't work at the moment and I feel useless , lazy and demotivated - a failure . I find myself wishing employers would educate themselves regarding mental health and how to recognize the symptoms of a depressive phase or an anxiety attack . Until they do , how can I trust myself in any job ? With a CV like mine , I will soon become unemployable due to my lack of sustainable employment . Maybe I already am . We 'll have to wait and see . Image via Thinkstock . Continue reading this story . . . 2k2k Jenny Bromfield
|
Quote From : downey6977 I am a single mom to a 4yr old daughter . She will not talk to me and she is very hateful towards me . Her father is not in her life . He could care less about her . She visits his mother every week and when she comes back from their house , she acts like a totally different person . Like she is mad at me for some reason . What can i do to get her to talk ? Your daughter is 4 ! She doesn 't know how to talk about her feelings and emotions . She may not grasp hateful tone with feelings of someone else . Her father not being in her life has nothing to do with your ability to raise her . I am a single parent of an 8 yr old which I 've raised alone from day 1 . Teach respect . Explain to her about different " voices " or tones . Kids don 't know things unless they are taught . If she wants to tell you something in a hateful tone , tell her you will not listen until she talks nicely . If the grandmother wants to partake in her life , talk with her about her attitude when she returns . You will not allow her to go if she can not behave afterwards . When she respects you , then you will let her go . Again , children will do what they are able to get by with ( tempers , etc ) and repeat what they are taught . Read Replies to this Message Quote From : carlosreneI am a single mother of an 8 1 / 2 yr old son his father was always in trouble too . Once I found out I was pregnant I left his father also realizing I didn 't want to put my son thru what I went thru . ( he was abusive and an alcoholic and cheater ) His dad was in rehab most of my son 's life . Until I felt my son was ready I didn 't tell him where his father was just that he had to work out of town . . After while it started to effect him at school . So I sat down and talked to him . Told him that his father was sick and loves him and that is why he is away trying to get the help he needs cause he was never taught the right way . I have always been honest with my son . At some point he started to blame himself for his dad leaving . When his father got out of rehab the 2nd time he would come by maybe once a month to see his son and when he did he would be drinking and / or smoking . ( I don ; t smoke and maybe drink once every 3 mo . ) My son started to realize his dad would never change . I explained to my son that his dad does love him just is not ready to be a full time parent and that I would always be there for him no matter what . His dad 's mother comes to town quite often and when there is school holidays he goes to her house , and he would rather be with his g ' ma then his dad . My son know that I do as much as possible to get his dad to write or just call and even he gets frustrated when he calls and his dad doesn 't answer the phone . I have even told my son that he has 4 other bro / sis all from different mothers ( he only see one of them ) And he is upset that his dad could do that and not care about how the other kids feel . My son doesn 't lie to me I know cause he comes home and tells me things good and bad that he has done thru the day and know he will get in trouble but I tell him it would be worse if he wasn 't honest , that I would eventually find out . I am always honest with him And you would be surprised at how much your kids do understand what is going on . They can tell when you are upset or bothered . I woudchmtx User MoodHappy Message Emote October 20 , 2005 , 3 : 34 pm CDT 2 parents Quote From : tkebobbyWell , first off I am a firm believer that a child should have two parents . However , both parents need to be responsible adults . As far as allowing him to see his son , it is a good thing IF and ONLY IF he is ready to be this child 's father , and that means for the rest of his natural life . Things that might suggest this , for starters , paying child support . No money , no kid . That is not to say that money and material possesions are everything , but lets face it , kids are expencive ! Furthermore , I 'm even saying that he needs to pay to see his child . What I am suggesting is that the money be a sign that he is being responsible , he has a good job and is willing to provide for his child . You need to have a clearly defined number of things which he must do to prove to you he is willing to be a good father this time around . And he needs to be clearly told , until he has done those things ( and continues to do them afterward ) he will not have gained your trust . He is indeed the father . He has every right to see the child as you do . You may be the custodial parent but because he doesn 't come around , doesn 't mean he 's not entitled to that visitation . I know you are probably enraged with what I am saying . Child support and visitations are two seperate issues ! ! ! I understand that paying child support is a symbol of responsibility , interest and maturity . However , any court will tell you those are two seperate issues . Visitations are a right . Child support is an obligation . You must fulfull your obligations but don 't have to fulfill your rights . Introduce the child and father in a casual environment . Playground , zoo , park , etc . . . Someplace where the child is not forced to talk to the parent but interaction / playing and bonding can take place . Increase the visitation time . You say the father and you are getting along . On the side , express to him that he is making a big commitment to be involved and you expect him to continue . Best of luck to you : ) Read Replies to this Message Quote From : slharmsI became divorced from my ex - wife when my oldest son was 7 years old . Now , ten years later , our relationship is pretty much empty . He acts like I 'm a ghost , as if I were not there . He dosen 't call me , and can 't even come over to me when I attend his HS games , to say hello , or thanks for coming out . This attitude has been going on now for 1 . 5 years . Question : whats all this about ? ? I can 't get anyone to talk to me about it . He 's a typical teenager who has reached the stage where " parents don 't exist " or " I don 't need / have parents " . Teenagers go thru stages where they don 't want to be around their parents . I did it ! I was preoccupied with my friends and trying to make my own life . I didn 't want to hear my parents lecture me , tell me what to do . I wasn 't into drinking or drugs . My parents and I are now the best of friends ! ! Can you engage in any activities with him ? Shoot some pool , watch a movie , take him and a few friends out to dinner etc . . . and find out what his personality is like to see if it is truly something personal towards you ? How often were you involved with him until this point ? You mention you go to his games , but was this how the relationship was from the beginning with him ? Kids - especially boys - don 't make a point to call their parents . Are you kidding ? They forget to mention when they are going to be home let alone to say hi , how are you and let me hear about the people at your work ? I don 't know how close the two of you were through out the years but several of my friends have talked about this attitude as the child gets closer to being independant . Read Replies to this Message Quote From : kristawoodMy son is 4 years old , 5 in Feb . 2006 . When he was first born , me and his father were not together any longer . I was with someone else , he was single . He come to the hopsital when he was born and had regular visits with him , he took responsibilty . He only paid $ 25 . 00 a week CS , and made pretty good money , but I told him as long as he was a part of our sons life and helped me when I needed additional help that 25 was fine . Well 4 months later he got his self a new girlfriend ( who was my long time rival I might add ) Suddenly , visits slow down ( his family would still see him ) CS stopped . My son almost died in the hospital and he lived 30 min . from the hospital and she wouldn 't let him come see our 4 month old son who almost died . He claimed he didn 't have a way , but she had a brand new car sitting in the drive , if she was half a woman she wouldn 't have brought him to see his son . Well . . . . . . . . she didn 't . He survived , without his dads support . A couple of times they would split up and he would call me and me being stupid and neuve would take him back . Then they would get back together . Now all these years later , I 'm remarried to a wonderful man who is a great daddy to my son . His real father has not seen him in a couple of years . Me and my husband has talked about him adopting . The real father is having CS garnished out of his check $ 42 a week . I have asked him to sign his rights over , he said he would if I drew up papers stating that I didn 't want any future support . But I decided , what gives him the right to get out the responsibility of this child ? So , I decided against it . But . . . . . . . . . . should I ? Is that $ 42 a week mean that much that I should let this worthless piece for a father be in my sons life any longer ? He adores my husband . What do you think ? Yes , when a person relinquishes their parental rights , they - in most cases - don 't have to pay child support because now in the courts eye , they are no longer the parent and no longer responsible . My ex signed away his parental rights when we divordchmtx User MoodHappy Message Emote October 21 , 2005 , 4 : 02 pm CDT ugly parenting Quote From : magickaliMy ex - husband remarried . I was very supportive of this and actually encouraged it . We had a joint custody situation . We never had a lawyer for the divorce , because I could not afford one and the parting was amicable . Every thing was civil up until my oldest daughter 's birthday which fell on my weekend to have the girls . He gave me a hard time , lied about some stuff for that weekend . I ended up going to court . Now instead of joint custody , I have visitation and I have to pay child support which I can really not afford . I have always been a homemaker and now I have two small children . My ex - husband makes $ 100 , 000 / yr . Now I am sorry I did not have the lawyer , because things have been quite nasty . His new wife makes my daughters call her mommy . My oldest daughter brought me her homework planner to be signed , so I signed it . The step - mother erased my name . My daughter cried and then got punished for it . This woman had also called our local building department to report that there were too many people living in our house ( my husbands aunt and his father live with us in an 1800 's carriage house ) . When this plan did not work the building department was called for a part that was sagging 9an area where no one resides ) and our house ended up getting condemned . I had no where to live my baby and my toddler . It was horrible . She then continued to call in that we were still living in the house with the children , but I had gone to California and Florida to stay with relatives . The step - grandmother sits near me at my daughters soccer games and says annoying things that she knows I will hear . The step - mother throws out personal items that I buy my daughters when they take them home from the visitations . My 11 year old is on to what is going on . But my 8 year old breaks my heart as she is fickle . I just want to enjoy my daughters in peace , be able to buy them items and not get harassed . My lawyer says to record everything , but that is so stressful . I don 't want to live like that . I just don 't know what to do . dchmtx User MoodHappy Message Emote October 28 , 2005 , 3 : 25 pm CDT Balancing Work and Family Quote From : tracyock1I teach first grade special education in a rural area of Missouri . I have three students with severe behavior problems at school . Dealing with them all day is exhausting . Between behavioral outbursts , modifying curriculum and teaching social skills , I am overdone by the time I get home . I love teaching and I know that I am making a difference , but I feel like the wicked witch of the west at home to my two boys ( 6 and 8 ) . By the time we get home from school , do homework , eat supper ( fix supper ) and start to relax , my temper is short and my patience is thin . I feel that my students are getting the best of me and my kids are getting the left overs . It doesn 't help that my husband works the night shift . He has applied for a different shift and has been promised the day shift , but it will take a while for the change to happen . How can I find ways to have more patience at home ? My boys are not behavior problems - just very active . Their teachers say that they are very good at school , but at home it is non - stop bickering , arguing and rough - housing . As a teacher , I want them to be good at school , but as a mother I need them to be good at home . Can someone help me find a way to balance both parts of my life ? I just read your message . I hope you are checking for replies still . I feel your exhaustion . I work at a pediatric hospital where everything is urgent and critical . I am so stressed by my coworkers and the demands of perfection . I go home to an ADD / severe ADHD child that has some learning disabilities . I have 3 hours to fix dinner , eat , clean up , do homework ( he 's not able to do homework without constant one on one attention at the 3rd grade level because of ADD ) . Then do any chores , run any last minute errands , baths and ready for the next day . Some nights we have soccer , PTA , family stuff . I am so burned out and exhausted . Oh , I 'm a single parent by the way . TV is out of the question . I catch headline news from the radio . Luckily I have an hour commute each way and that is my relaxation and dowdchmtx User MoodHappy Message Emote November 7 , 2005 , 3 : 32 pm CST Over stressed Quote From : tracyock1I was just checking the message board while my two are outside playing . I started crying when I read your message . It meant so much to me that someone else understands . Keep your chin up . It sounds like you have a good sense of humor - keep it - you will need it . I completely understand about the stress of co - workers and the demands of perfection . I have one little girl who is completely out of control . The regular classroom teacher looks at me to solve all of her problems , her mother can 't control her either . My boss thinks I should devote a lot of time to the girl plus keep up with all my other students . ENOUGH ! ! ! Good luck and don 't give up . THanks again for replying . You are not alone in this big world ! ! There are sympathetic people out here that know the sceario all too well . Wow , a child that the parents can 't control ? Sounds like they look forward to when school is in session . Sounds like the parents need the help - which would make your life easier ! As long as you know you are stressed , you 've identified the problems and can focus on your limits . Most people don 't recognize stress which causes so many more problems . If you lose your temper at your boys - stop , count to three and very calmly repeat what you orginally were saying . You 'll get some strange looks for your boys thinking you have totally lost it when infact , you are recomposing : ) We have had a birthday party every weekend . 2 coming up this weekend alone . Then thanksgiving is here . I 'm so busy that I forgot to plan a get together with my friends for my OWN b - day . That 's okay . Makes me feel young celebrating a child 's birthday rather than my own . hehehe . My friends and I have started scrap booking and letting the children go wild ( within safety limits of course ) while we stay up all night . I feel like a younger generation of old ladies quilting : ) Don 't want to offend anyone who quilts because I want to learn to do that too . Just be sure to make time for yourself . Get up early and take a long shower . Sacrifice the dishes and sdchmtx User MoodHappy Message Emote November 7 , 2005 , 3 : 42 pm CST Older adoptions Quote From : molly15My husband and I adopted a foster child last year . This young man is now 15 and has been in our home for 3 years . Two years as a foster child . He is ADHD , ODD . His mother gave him up for adoption and he gave her 2 trys to get her act together to be his mom but she choose drugs instead . Our son was in the foster system and movied 7 times before he came to us . He has told us many times that he has lied all his life so why should he change now . How do we help this young man to understand that has long as he lies about everthing we will always have trouble trusting him . I give you a pat on the back and applaud you for adopting an older child ! ! ! ! I grew up with foster children in our home . It was the greatest experience ever . From a child 's point of view , I had a big family . I knew of each of the children 's back grounds ( all were school age and adolescents ) but neither of us received special treatment for being foster children or biological children . I have seen older children go thru " the system " b / c no one wants to adopt a child b / c they have issues , set in their ways , won 't bond etc . . . Everyone wants the infants and babies that don 't know their past . Because my parents cared for older children from abandonment , neglect , abuse , drugs etc . . . I see the hard road that lies ahead with the state - especially siblings that want to stay together . I would love to adopt an older child . Teach them to trust and love . They have a new beginning . You are willing to protect them and a permanent home and family . I tip my hat to you for embracing an adolescent . Read Replies to this Message Quote From : mucholocaMy kids have been in foster care since oct 2004 . I never abused or neglected my kids . They where placed in care because i was in a abusive marriage . I am doing all my court orders but the system is so hard on parents , iam afraied i will never get my kids back . If you are in a repetative abusive situation , the state fears the children are put in danger . At what point will the abuse turn towards the children . Will the children be running and laughing causing a parent to get angry and go off the deep end ? Will they get a bad grade thus a punishment be considered cruel and unusual ? The state takes the children away because the danger and threat is still apparent . Until the that threat is removed and you can prove you are protecting and have the children 's safety and best interest in mind , the children will not be returned . I grew up with 2 foster sisters because the mother refused to leave the man who abused her children . Someone had to leave and she wouldn 't make him - thus the children were removed instead . Use this period to build up the strength to correct the abusive relationship . If you want your children back , you have to get out . Read Replies to this Message
|
At work , two of the company 's representatives from Europe are here for meetings . They 're both good - looking guys ( Cute ! with accents ! I swoon . ) and I realized the other day after meeting them how much I miss dating . The flirting , the wondering - the newness of it all . I used to go out on dates that would start after work and end around sunup , with both of us logy from learning all this new information about each other , and exhausted ( but wide - eyed ) from cigarette smoke and too many cups of diner coffee . No , I don 't want to trade in my husband . Not at all . Somewhere in between the first time I saw him and having our second baby , though , I think we figured each other out . There isn 't a lot of newness anymore . Which is terrific for coming home to , but makes me miss that far - off single past of mine . Is it cold where you are ? It 's getting colder here - the night - times are frosty , and the mornings glitter . We haven 't had any snow yet , ( Ha ! You thought I lived where the Eskimos are , didn 't you ! So many people think Nova Scotia is right off the tundra . ) thank goodness , but it 's coming . It 'll be good to have for Christmas . How was everyone 's Thanksgiving ? Bear scored beeg brownie points . I was moping around , missing my family and thought I was doing a pretty good job of hiding it , but he noticed . So Thursday I came home to . . . an entire Thanksgiving feast ! He had roasted the turkey , made his special family recipe stuffing , cooked carrots and sweet potatoes and squash . There was cranberry sauce . He even made ( non - lumpy , even ! ) gravy . So I stuffed myself achingly full , ( after I pounced on him and kissed him breathless , because how else do you thank someone who makes a surprise like that ? ? ) and then he smiled with a hint of mischief and said " Oh , and there 's dessert , too . " which of course , made my ears prick up . No , not pie ( sorry Tessa ! ) but a delicious , piping hot Apple Brown Betty . Oh . My . God . I 'd love to be able to say ( and I 'm sure he was hoping ) that I then repaid him with some extra long holiday quality time , but really - I need to work off all the food first . You just can 't stuff a girl and expect gymnastics an hour later . I 've been trying to convince myself that I need to scrapbook , but I can 't make myself do it . I 'm not sure I have the patience , and it seems like one of those things where there would be no end to it , once I started fussing with different papers and twee little charms and whatnot . And what do you do with all the extra photos ? ? I saw a very nice page the other day on a baby 's first bath - there was one picture . ONE . Holy Mother of God , what sort of people are those that can take ONE picture of their baby 's first bath ? I have three rolls of film on that alone ! ( AND video ! ) I think I 'm doomed to have shoeboxes full of pictures under the bed for the rest of my life . Last night , I was rooting around under the bed for a sock ( There is no scientific basis for this , but I am convinced they move around while you sleep ) and pulled out a wrinkled gift bag with my ( gulp ! ) wedding photos in it . The Boy came in and started looking at them with me , and we were talking about the day and why Mommy was wearing the big dress ( Mommy had bad fashion advice ) and the even bigger thing on her hair ( Honestly , I looked like a fat Rockette . I was wearing the biggest head - piece thingy and was encased in veil . I looked like The Bride - On Steroids ! I looked like I was bound and determined to squeeze every little - girl wedding fantasy out of me - at the same time . ) and why Daddy looked so serious . And then Cass turned to me and asked where he and Rosey were . ( Oh , crap , don 't I get a few years before I have to have this talk ? Assuring you that I hadn 't lost my penis was bad enough . . . ) I began carefully . ' We didn 't have you and Rosey yet , honey . ' But no . Cass was determined that it was after his bedtime , see , and he and Rosey were sitting in the back crouching under the lady 's skirt , because they didn 't want to go to sleep . ( And thinking about Reverend Karen hiding children under her robes is priceless . ) The Boy went on to tell me that he liked the speeches but it was a little long . He then said " And Papa was there in his suit ! " and a little light wePosted by Not a real post tonight , just stuff : Panda is home with us . The vet couldn 't find anything wrong ( some of the lab work isn 't back yet ) , but he didn 't think she needed to stay . So that 's good . My job is . . . boring , boooring , boooring , with occasional flashes of interesting . They 've asked me to stay on for two more weeks and I gather the position is actually going to open up , but I need to really sit down and work out the money situation before I jump into any job so far away from home . Based on some quick figuring , with the extra daycare and extra gas money we 're paying out , I 'm earning about six bucks a day . . . . must work this out . I really hope I 'm wrong here . The daycare . . . oy . Today was Cass 's last day , and God bless the women that work there , they put a positive spin on it and he came home excited to have a vacation . Whilst Bear was there , tidying up the last of our bill , one of them told him they hope to re - organize and be back in January . In the mean - time , Cassidy will be going to Rosey 's babysitter with her - which Cass likes , because Michelle 's son is about his age and they play with trucks and go out in the backyard and get sand - covered and roll around with the dogs and do little boy stuff . I didn 't realize that it was almost Thanksgiving ! The Canadian Thanksgiving is celebrated in October . I have to decide whether or not to put on ' American Thanksgiving ' ( as they all call it here ) and if so , drag the good dishes out . Hard to pass up all that food , though . Hmmmm . It may snow this weekend , ugh . Hopefully it won 't stick ! ! In closing , I want to say that I love my commenters - y ' all are such great people . You leave thoughtful comments and insights - how could I not love you ? Really . The best . That 's Panda on the right . The striped one is Katie , her daughter . I moved here from Michigan with all my belongings stuffed ( and it was tight packing ) into an eight foot pull behind U - Haul . The cats rode up front with me ( We are not amused . Not amused . ) and we were fine until we hit Buffalo , New York . Then my brakes started getting harder and harder to operate . The cats were sympathetic ( Holy shit , does this mean we get to stop ? ? ) but I pressed on - I made it ( coasting in ) to my fathers house in Canandaigua , there to find out my car 's frame had cracked and the car was a big ugly paperweight . I finished the trip out with all my possessions taking up a teeny amount of room in an eighteen - foot U - haul . ( Only certain sizes [ all the biggies , natch ] are allowed over the border ) The cats helped me feel like this was my home . My oldest cat , Panda , has been slowing down for a year or more . We think she 's fifteen , which is a pretty respectable age for a reformed barn cat to have attained - but I don 't want to let her go . Now , though , it may be just nearing her time . She 's started wandering around the house , crying like she 's lost , and even when the other cats go to her she still doesn 't seem comforted . She spends a lot of time dozing , and her eyes have a glassy sheen . She 's lost a bit of weight , and last night we found blood in the cat box . Thursday Bear will take her into the vet and we 'll see what he says . I hate thinking that this is the end . On the bright side , she 's still eating and drinking and purring and doesn 't seem uncomfortable , just lethargic and . . . well , old . And tired . Thursday we 'll know . Posted by Comforts : Last night Bear hunted out the old ripped comforter I keep that was my mothers . One of the seams has opened , and if I learned to sew , I bet I could fix it . But I have become used to feeling the edge of the ripped batting when I pull the covers up at night . Together with the quilt we usually have on our bed it makes a lovely weight . I have the best dreams tucked under it . The house is gearing down for the night . Cass just turned out his light ( he is allowed to read his books for a bit after the official bedtime stories and prayers and songs ) and hollered his goodnights and I love yous - he likes to get one more in before he snuggles himself down . He sleeps under an afghan my aunt Gloria knitted ( he likes to curl his fingers into its ' design ) and his baby blanket . His blanket is a beautiful red on the back , with a jean - coloured top and a cross with disney characters on it , and was made by the wife of an ex - boyfriend . ( He was my wild boyfriend , the one that my mother was scared I 'd end up with - he went away to Desert Storm , met a lovely , warm woman , and became a preacher . But this is a story for another day . ) Tonight when I went in Cass was singing a goodnight song to Beau and Charlie ( his stuffed doggies he sleeps with ) and he had them tucked under his blanket - I had to perch on the side of the bed so I wouldn 't wake them up . Sometimes I am amazed at how beautiful my sons soul is . He put his doggies under there because ( I am told ) Beau is a little afraid of the dark , and he knew the blanket would keep him safe . Rosemary 's crib has her own comforter - it has ( surprise ! ) roses on it , in a pale green and pink pattern , with lots of leaves and a creamy background . Her loveys are all bunnies , and there is a little lamb that makes a heartbeat noise that lives there too . She looks likes she 's asleep in a garden . She ' acquired ' a bunny that was given to Cass by his aunt a few Easters ago , and has almost de - furred one of the ears , as she rubs it at night against her cheek . I love the hushed - ness of the house as the childrPosted by I am tired . It 's a good kind of tired , the kind after you 've accomplished much and feel the night and bedtime approaching in your bones . I have done a lot today . The job is just a job . I shuffle papers , answer the phones ( trying to decipher the who - to - page - and - who - to - voicemail code ) and smile at people I don 't know . The steel - toed boots have been on once - a tour through the four buildings , seeing Production , Assembly , Design , Storage , Shipping . Everyone is very friendly . I 'm trying hard not to really let go and enjoy myself , because even if they offered me a full time permanent job I don 't think they could afford to pay me enough to make my gas bills worthwhile . It 's just over seventy kilometres one way . ( 44 miles ) The drive home is nice , though . I get to be just me , not Mommy . And I get to turn my music up really loud . It almost makes it fun . Our computer has been acting up for days - we found out our anti - virus program had expired pretty dramatically , as all of a sudden the computer just wouldn 't work . So much fun ! I ran a new anti - virus and found that during the programs ' quarentine and destruction of the seven ( yup , seven ) viruses that were chummily causing havoc , the guts were torn out of the basic programs that run my computer . Corrupted the internal whoosee - whatsits . Basically , a job for the official computer guy . Tra - la - la ! Only I would kill the computer by trying to fix it ! Tomorrow I start a temporary job , an hour away from my house . It 's an administrative position , but I 'm required to bring steel - toed boots so I can . . . . deliver the mail . I 'm thinking I 'll be full of stories come quitting time ! It 's a piss - poor day here at the daygobys . Our sons day care is disbanding - in two weeks he will be cast afloat without the net of teachers , helpers and friends he 's loved for almost three years - people who have helped him learn and really enjoyed him - and made me enjoy being his mom a little more , too . They were the ones who caught that he was a little slow to do new things , who pushed to have him tested and helped me find resources to help him overcome his fine motor problems . They gave me tips on how to survive the potty training marathon , suggested ways to introduce Cass to the idea that he was going to have a sibling , and remembered every day what new and wonderful thing he had done or said that day . I will miss them . He will be heart - broken . What am I going to do ? Cass wanted to ride his bike tonight , so after supper I bundled both kidlets up , opened the front door . . . . and noticed how dark it was . Oops , guess I 'm not used to the time change yet ! The boy - child threw a fit ( But I wanna . . . ) so I threw him the Mommy death - look , ( which doesn 't faze him , as he 's the deluxe kid model and apparently came with Anti - Glare software ) and tossed them both into the car . About five minutes away from where we live is a tiny little park next to a church in one of the sea - side towns here . It does have a streetlight , so I headed for that . Needless to say , we were the only ones there . The Boy chewed his lip . " We 're going . . . here ? " I was busy extracting his sister from the car and managed not to say what I was thinking , which was something along the lines of " Don 't worry , dear - the trolls only come out after full dark " and instead settled for a breezy " Looky ! A new slide ! " It was clear and a little breezy in the park , but certainly not the cold November nights I remember from growing up . I trundled Rosey around on my hip and we watched Cass run from the slide to the rope bridge to the swing to the climber to the bouncy and back again . It 's amazing how much energy a small boy can run through in a play yard . The girl was getting heavy , so ( Oh brilliant me ) thought ' She 's never been on a slide ! ' and set her down about halfway from the top of the curvy , young ' un slide . I did the standard ' Woo ! ' as I held onto her and let her go down the slide , peering expectantly at her face for a smile , a giggle , some indication of pleasure . After all , don 't all babies love the slide ? Rosey was silent , so I tried again , putting more gaiety in my voice . " Woo - hoo ! " Maybe I just wasn 't hearing her chortles of glee ? ? Finally , she turned her head and looked at me with a clear expression of ' WTF is this , Mom ? " I guess sliding down a damp cold slide in the middle of the night wasn 't her thing ? Okay . Snagged her up and went to go push the boyo on the swing . At least he had a good time . Big city smartass girl marries small town earnest boy , moves to new country , has a dog , two children and three thick - furred cats . The kids yell , the dog barks , and the cats shed . ( sigh ) Someone hand me more coffee .
|
At work , two of the company 's representatives from Europe are here for meetings . They 're both good - looking guys ( Cute ! with accents ! I swoon . ) and I realized the other day after meeting them how much I miss dating . The flirting , the wondering - the newness of it all . I used to go out on dates that would start after work and end around sunup , with both of us logy from learning all this new information about each other , and exhausted ( but wide - eyed ) from cigarette smoke and too many cups of diner coffee . No , I don 't want to trade in my husband . Not at all . Somewhere in between the first time I saw him and having our second baby , though , I think we figured each other out . There isn 't a lot of newness anymore . Which is terrific for coming home to , but makes me miss that far - off single past of mine . Is it cold where you are ? It 's getting colder here - the night - times are frosty , and the mornings glitter . We haven 't had any snow yet , ( Ha ! You thought I lived where the Eskimos are , didn 't you ! So many people think Nova Scotia is right off the tundra . ) thank goodness , but it 's coming . It 'll be good to have for Christmas . How was everyone 's Thanksgiving ? Bear scored beeg brownie points . I was moping around , missing my family and thought I was doing a pretty good job of hiding it , but he noticed . So Thursday I came home to . . . an entire Thanksgiving feast ! He had roasted the turkey , made his special family recipe stuffing , cooked carrots and sweet potatoes and squash . There was cranberry sauce . He even made ( non - lumpy , even ! ) gravy . So I stuffed myself achingly full , ( after I pounced on him and kissed him breathless , because how else do you thank someone who makes a surprise like that ? ? ) and then he smiled with a hint of mischief and said " Oh , and there 's dessert , too . " which of course , made my ears prick up . No , not pie ( sorry Tessa ! ) but a delicious , piping hot Apple Brown Betty . Oh . My . God . I 'd love to be able to say ( and I 'm sure he was hoping ) that I then repaid him with some extra long holiday quality time , but really - I need to work off all the food first . You just can 't stuff a girl and expect gymnastics an hour later . I 've been trying to convince myself that I need to scrapbook , but I can 't make myself do it . I 'm not sure I have the patience , and it seems like one of those things where there would be no end to it , once I started fussing with different papers and twee little charms and whatnot . And what do you do with all the extra photos ? ? I saw a very nice page the other day on a baby 's first bath - there was one picture . ONE . Holy Mother of God , what sort of people are those that can take ONE picture of their baby 's first bath ? I have three rolls of film on that alone ! ( AND video ! ) I think I 'm doomed to have shoeboxes full of pictures under the bed for the rest of my life . Last night , I was rooting around under the bed for a sock ( There is no scientific basis for this , but I am convinced they move around while you sleep ) and pulled out a wrinkled gift bag with my ( gulp ! ) wedding photos in it . The Boy came in and started looking at them with me , and we were talking about the day and why Mommy was wearing the big dress ( Mommy had bad fashion advice ) and the even bigger thing on her hair ( Honestly , I looked like a fat Rockette . I was wearing the biggest head - piece thingy and was encased in veil . I looked like The Bride - On Steroids ! I looked like I was bound and determined to squeeze every little - girl wedding fantasy out of me - at the same time . ) and why Daddy looked so serious . And then Cass turned to me and asked where he and Rosey were . ( Oh , crap , don 't I get a few years before I have to have this talk ? Assuring you that I hadn 't lost my penis was bad enough . . . ) I began carefully . ' We didn 't have you and Rosey yet , honey . ' But no . Cass was determined that it was after his bedtime , see , and he and Rosey were sitting in the back crouching under the lady 's skirt , because they didn 't want to go to sleep . ( And thinking about Reverend Karen hiding children under her robes is priceless . ) The Boy went on to tell me that he liked the speeches but it was a little long . He then said " And Papa was there in his suit ! " and a little light wePosted by Not a real post tonight , just stuff : Panda is home with us . The vet couldn 't find anything wrong ( some of the lab work isn 't back yet ) , but he didn 't think she needed to stay . So that 's good . My job is . . . boring , boooring , boooring , with occasional flashes of interesting . They 've asked me to stay on for two more weeks and I gather the position is actually going to open up , but I need to really sit down and work out the money situation before I jump into any job so far away from home . Based on some quick figuring , with the extra daycare and extra gas money we 're paying out , I 'm earning about six bucks a day . . . . must work this out . I really hope I 'm wrong here . The daycare . . . oy . Today was Cass 's last day , and God bless the women that work there , they put a positive spin on it and he came home excited to have a vacation . Whilst Bear was there , tidying up the last of our bill , one of them told him they hope to re - organize and be back in January . In the mean - time , Cassidy will be going to Rosey 's babysitter with her - which Cass likes , because Michelle 's son is about his age and they play with trucks and go out in the backyard and get sand - covered and roll around with the dogs and do little boy stuff . I didn 't realize that it was almost Thanksgiving ! The Canadian Thanksgiving is celebrated in October . I have to decide whether or not to put on ' American Thanksgiving ' ( as they all call it here ) and if so , drag the good dishes out . Hard to pass up all that food , though . Hmmmm . It may snow this weekend , ugh . Hopefully it won 't stick ! ! In closing , I want to say that I love my commenters - y ' all are such great people . You leave thoughtful comments and insights - how could I not love you ? Really . The best . That 's Panda on the right . The striped one is Katie , her daughter . I moved here from Michigan with all my belongings stuffed ( and it was tight packing ) into an eight foot pull behind U - Haul . The cats rode up front with me ( We are not amused . Not amused . ) and we were fine until we hit Buffalo , New York . Then my brakes started getting harder and harder to operate . The cats were sympathetic ( Holy shit , does this mean we get to stop ? ? ) but I pressed on - I made it ( coasting in ) to my fathers house in Canandaigua , there to find out my car 's frame had cracked and the car was a big ugly paperweight . I finished the trip out with all my possessions taking up a teeny amount of room in an eighteen - foot U - haul . ( Only certain sizes [ all the biggies , natch ] are allowed over the border ) The cats helped me feel like this was my home . My oldest cat , Panda , has been slowing down for a year or more . We think she 's fifteen , which is a pretty respectable age for a reformed barn cat to have attained - but I don 't want to let her go . Now , though , it may be just nearing her time . She 's started wandering around the house , crying like she 's lost , and even when the other cats go to her she still doesn 't seem comforted . She spends a lot of time dozing , and her eyes have a glassy sheen . She 's lost a bit of weight , and last night we found blood in the cat box . Thursday Bear will take her into the vet and we 'll see what he says . I hate thinking that this is the end . On the bright side , she 's still eating and drinking and purring and doesn 't seem uncomfortable , just lethargic and . . . well , old . And tired . Thursday we 'll know . Posted by Comforts : Last night Bear hunted out the old ripped comforter I keep that was my mothers . One of the seams has opened , and if I learned to sew , I bet I could fix it . But I have become used to feeling the edge of the ripped batting when I pull the covers up at night . Together with the quilt we usually have on our bed it makes a lovely weight . I have the best dreams tucked under it . The house is gearing down for the night . Cass just turned out his light ( he is allowed to read his books for a bit after the official bedtime stories and prayers and songs ) and hollered his goodnights and I love yous - he likes to get one more in before he snuggles himself down . He sleeps under an afghan my aunt Gloria knitted ( he likes to curl his fingers into its ' design ) and his baby blanket . His blanket is a beautiful red on the back , with a jean - coloured top and a cross with disney characters on it , and was made by the wife of an ex - boyfriend . ( He was my wild boyfriend , the one that my mother was scared I 'd end up with - he went away to Desert Storm , met a lovely , warm woman , and became a preacher . But this is a story for another day . ) Tonight when I went in Cass was singing a goodnight song to Beau and Charlie ( his stuffed doggies he sleeps with ) and he had them tucked under his blanket - I had to perch on the side of the bed so I wouldn 't wake them up . Sometimes I am amazed at how beautiful my sons soul is . He put his doggies under there because ( I am told ) Beau is a little afraid of the dark , and he knew the blanket would keep him safe . Rosemary 's crib has her own comforter - it has ( surprise ! ) roses on it , in a pale green and pink pattern , with lots of leaves and a creamy background . Her loveys are all bunnies , and there is a little lamb that makes a heartbeat noise that lives there too . She looks likes she 's asleep in a garden . She ' acquired ' a bunny that was given to Cass by his aunt a few Easters ago , and has almost de - furred one of the ears , as she rubs it at night against her cheek . I love the hushed - ness of the house as the childrPosted by I am tired . It 's a good kind of tired , the kind after you 've accomplished much and feel the night and bedtime approaching in your bones . I have done a lot today . The job is just a job . I shuffle papers , answer the phones ( trying to decipher the who - to - page - and - who - to - voicemail code ) and smile at people I don 't know . The steel - toed boots have been on once - a tour through the four buildings , seeing Production , Assembly , Design , Storage , Shipping . Everyone is very friendly . I 'm trying hard not to really let go and enjoy myself , because even if they offered me a full time permanent job I don 't think they could afford to pay me enough to make my gas bills worthwhile . It 's just over seventy kilometres one way . ( 44 miles ) The drive home is nice , though . I get to be just me , not Mommy . And I get to turn my music up really loud . It almost makes it fun . Our computer has been acting up for days - we found out our anti - virus program had expired pretty dramatically , as all of a sudden the computer just wouldn 't work . So much fun ! I ran a new anti - virus and found that during the programs ' quarentine and destruction of the seven ( yup , seven ) viruses that were chummily causing havoc , the guts were torn out of the basic programs that run my computer . Corrupted the internal whoosee - whatsits . Basically , a job for the official computer guy . Tra - la - la ! Only I would kill the computer by trying to fix it ! Tomorrow I start a temporary job , an hour away from my house . It 's an administrative position , but I 'm required to bring steel - toed boots so I can . . . . deliver the mail . I 'm thinking I 'll be full of stories come quitting time ! It 's a piss - poor day here at the daygobys . Our sons day care is disbanding - in two weeks he will be cast afloat without the net of teachers , helpers and friends he 's loved for almost three years - people who have helped him learn and really enjoyed him - and made me enjoy being his mom a little more , too . They were the ones who caught that he was a little slow to do new things , who pushed to have him tested and helped me find resources to help him overcome his fine motor problems . They gave me tips on how to survive the potty training marathon , suggested ways to introduce Cass to the idea that he was going to have a sibling , and remembered every day what new and wonderful thing he had done or said that day . I will miss them . He will be heart - broken . What am I going to do ? Cass wanted to ride his bike tonight , so after supper I bundled both kidlets up , opened the front door . . . . and noticed how dark it was . Oops , guess I 'm not used to the time change yet ! The boy - child threw a fit ( But I wanna . . . ) so I threw him the Mommy death - look , ( which doesn 't faze him , as he 's the deluxe kid model and apparently came with Anti - Glare software ) and tossed them both into the car . About five minutes away from where we live is a tiny little park next to a church in one of the sea - side towns here . It does have a streetlight , so I headed for that . Needless to say , we were the only ones there . The Boy chewed his lip . " We 're going . . . here ? " I was busy extracting his sister from the car and managed not to say what I was thinking , which was something along the lines of " Don 't worry , dear - the trolls only come out after full dark " and instead settled for a breezy " Looky ! A new slide ! " It was clear and a little breezy in the park , but certainly not the cold November nights I remember from growing up . I trundled Rosey around on my hip and we watched Cass run from the slide to the rope bridge to the swing to the climber to the bouncy and back again . It 's amazing how much energy a small boy can run through in a play yard . The girl was getting heavy , so ( Oh brilliant me ) thought ' She 's never been on a slide ! ' and set her down about halfway from the top of the curvy , young ' un slide . I did the standard ' Woo ! ' as I held onto her and let her go down the slide , peering expectantly at her face for a smile , a giggle , some indication of pleasure . After all , don 't all babies love the slide ? Rosey was silent , so I tried again , putting more gaiety in my voice . " Woo - hoo ! " Maybe I just wasn 't hearing her chortles of glee ? ? Finally , she turned her head and looked at me with a clear expression of ' WTF is this , Mom ? " I guess sliding down a damp cold slide in the middle of the night wasn 't her thing ? Okay . Snagged her up and went to go push the boyo on the swing . At least he had a good time . Big city smartass girl marries small town earnest boy , moves to new country , has a dog , two children and three thick - furred cats . The kids yell , the dog barks , and the cats shed . ( sigh ) Someone hand me more coffee .
|
I ride in all weather . I rode this morning when I was pelted with freezing rain and then watched it switch over to fat , lazy flakes drifting down and melting on the wet pavement . The roads are wet and sandy and disgusting , and I arrived at work with sopping shoes and sand caked up and down my pants legs . That doesn 't make me tough . Toughness is a thing you see during races like Paris - Roubaix or the Tour de France . I am not in the top 30 % of tough bicycle riders , probably . And of course , you ought to ride when you feel the urge to ride . There is no mandate . There is no measure of worthiness to spinning your wheels in unpleasant conditions . There is no enhanced riderness to be gained . No one is keeping score . For me , riding in inclement weather is a way to test myself . I don 't have the time or talent ( or inclination ) to ride stage races or find other ways to push my limits . But setting off on even a ten mile ride in freezing rain and sleet puts me almost immediately at a place of discomfort that I find interesting . It 's an easy way to test my my limits . And I enjoy it . If I was genuinely uncomfortable , I wouldn 't do it . I am merely at a place in my cycling life where I like suffering . I like climbing . I like the pain in my quads . I like to arrive home wrung out and then stumble up the stairs for lack of juice in the legs . It 's a beautiful place to be , this masochistic phase in my cycling . But it doesn 't make me tough . I have no time . This may not be a true statement but that 's how it feels . I haven 't ridden in over a week . It 's been super rainy , super cold , and my nose just won 't stop running . My fried " Da Robot " may be reading ( most likely the only person reading this anyway ) and be frothing with his rabid bicycle fanaticism that " this is not an excuse ! You must ride ! " I am aware that there are tougher rides and I 'm aware that people in worse shape make their rides . However , my bike commute isn 't a battle of the will . It 's not a competition . It 's not medal of honor . It 's how I get to work . It 's fun . Freezing , soaking wet , dripping snot , and sitting on a bus for 45 minutes is not fun . No thanks . I can wait a week till the rain lets up a bit . I can bide my time until my cold goes away . My commuter ride will return . I 'm not really that concerned . There is something that 's begun to gnaw at me tho . It hit while I was looking at a bike magazine , looking at all those pictures of pretty bikes . I miss my road bike . I miss my too small , 8 years old , hard on the arms and ass road bike . I miss my bike shoes that aren 't even road bike cleats . I miss rides where I get the thrash out of my legs and settle into a nice cadence and let my mind wander away . All of it . I miss the good and bad of it all . Now here is where the " I have no time " comes in . You see , the hard part of riding my road bike , has been trying to figure out how to get time to ride my road bike . How can I make the time to get back on my road bike ? I think I have figured it out . If I can have my gear set up and ready to go , my clothes laid out , my route planned , my food packed , my water bottle filled . . . If I can get all the noise out of the way , I can just wake up and go . This means I would probably just need to scrap out 2 hours on a saturday morning . I can do this . . So , I 'm planning on working on my road bike this week after the baby goes to bed . Get my gear together . Find my spare tubes . Looking on Google maps for some good rides . Work on creating some time where there doesn 't sPosted by I have been strong this winter . And warm . I have been on top of my game , such as it is . I have enjoyed riding on the coldest day and the wettest day , and I have taken as compliments the incredulous looks of my coworkers as I stride through the office door with my helmet in my hands . Yesterday , I took the day off . It was raining , and I 'd been developing a cold . I thought a day off was a reasonable response to the facts on the ground . But today I am more sick . I called in to work and let them know I was staying home . And the rational part of me knows that had I ridden yesterday I 'd have gotten soaked and frozen and quite possibly hypothermic , but there is a nagging suspicion in the back of my mind that had I ridden I would have woken up strong again this morning . Did I ride myself sick ? Or did I get sick from not riding ? Even now , sunk into the couch in pajamas and a sweatshirt , I have this hankering to go out for a ride . I coughing up relics from past civilizations , but I 'm dreaming about climbing hills . I am thinking about ways to get in more miles . Am I sick ? Or am I just unwell ? I am thankful for bicycles in all their various forms and shapes . I am thankful to that fucking genius cave man ( or woman ) who chiseled the first wheel out of stone and rolled their ass across the pre - historic nothingness , probably to get a pre - historic latte , while wearing a pre - ironic fur of some sort . Way to go , cave person ! Gobble ! Gobble ! Motherfuckers ! Here in New England winter started last week . The morning temps were in the 20s and the wind howled . Coming suddenly as it did ( it had been nearly 70 the week before ) , the transition was a bit painful . But I 'm not one to complain . I ride , so I rode . Then yesterday my friend Sam suggested we take a long afternoon ride , so I geared up and rolled out with him about 1 : 30 . At that point the temperature was about 35 . We headed West , into the wind . Our route followed a steady 5 mile climb , not steep at all , but very gradual and constant and somewhat tiring even in good conditions . We had a head wind , roughly 15 miles an hour , which , at that temperature makes for some tough riding . Our faces went numb . Our legs ached . We sweated out into our wool over - garments . It 's 13 miles out to Bedford from my house . It took us an hour , and when we arrived my back was beginning to cramp from see - sawing exertion , pushing uphill into the wind . Probably my form sucks , in as much as I can be said to have " form . " And I wondered to myself , " Why am I doing this ? Is this fun ? " It was . We stopped for coffee on the way back , and then of course , we got a 5 mile downhill with the wind at our backs . Today it 's 50 . Tomorrow almost 60 . Next week , it 'll probably snow . So the town where I live put in bike lockers . Pretty nice ones too . You have to go to the city 's parking office and buy a card . Then you have to put money on the card and you 're good to go . Unless you need directions . ' Cause you don 't get those . That 's a whole other Kafka - esque local city government process . Fortunately , it 's pretty easy to figure out how the bike lockers billing system works . You only lose about 10 cents off your card wrestling with it . So I have a card now . Which means I can park my bike downtown and not have to bring it to work with me each day on the bus . It also means the cretins of my town can 't strip it . Actually I 'm going to stop right now and point out how crazy it is to lock a bike in a steel cage . Remember when you were a kid and you 'd leave your bike all over the place ? For the youngins ever see a movie where people just leaned their bikes up against a wall or left it laying in the front lawn ? That really happened . People would do that . No one would touch your bike . It wasn 't theirs . Now - a - days , it 's like bike thieves are everywhere . I actually feel like I 'm pushing it having a bike in my backyard that 's not locked to a tree . And I have a big dog too ! Ok back to the thing with me having a bike locker card . I have a card . I also have new fenders for the rain . I also have velcro reflector strappy things for my pant legs . I wear my helmet and wear a yellow jacket . Honestly , I rode to the bus stop today looking like I fell out of the Bike To Work brochure . There I was , smartly locking up my bike and waiting for my bus . Just like the city council dreamed I would be doing when they decided to put in bike lockers . This should be very wrong feeling for me . The " leave me alone . I 'm not like you - and I don 't want to be " charm I am instilled with really hates being a tool . So looking like the picture out of a brochure is un - settling . However , I don 't really feel like a dork . I suppose I could ride with my lights off or something to be rebellious , but I think my whole riding downtown and taking thePosted by There 's not actually any zen - ness to bicycle maintenance . As I understand Zen , zen is not to be understood , and just because something leaves you feeling all mellow and serene , doesn 't mean you or it are zen in any way . This is just another example of how willing we are to pluck something from another culture we don 't understand and project our hair - brained ideas all over it . Having said all that , I cleaned my bike yesterday , and I was shocked at how the five - minute wipe down I 'd intended to give it turned effortlessly into an hour of minute dirt removal and lubrication . The bicycle , for all its perfection , still leaves a lot to be desired in terms of the exposure it gives greasy , metal , moving parts to sand and grit . I sometimes wonder if it would be easier to clean my route to work , rather than the vehicle that takes me there . Smoothness and quietness and speed . Every dirty rag I make leaves me feeling smoother and quieter and speedier . My shop , in the basement , is brightly lit and only allows muffled sounds from the mayhem above . My kids hurling the couch cushions , terrorizing the dog , the TV singing the most horrible , syrupy sweet songs as puppets cavort and careen across the screen . It 's a dirty sanctuary . Frames and forks hang from the ceiling . Tools rest in all the wrong places . But I have citrus hand cleaner , and I 'm comfortable there . And miles to go before I sleep . . . My wife 's car blew a head gasket . Total system meltdown . Smoke pouring out from under the hood . Other drivers turning to stare . Foul smells . A tow truck . A week without wheels . Kids to deliver to daycare . A job to go to . $ 2000 to fix it . And so , I was mostly off the bike this week , except when using it to get to my parents ' or sister - in - law 's houses to pick up their cars to shuttle my family around . If I began the week loathing the hulking masses of glass and steel that clutter our roadways , I 've finished the week wholly convinced of their obsolescence . Not only are they ugly , obese and smog - belching , but they also cost too much and take too long to fix . Completely impractical . Not only has our familial automotive catastrophe cost me valuable cycling time , but the large wad of liquid asset necessary to bring us back from the vehicular dead will seriously impinge on my ability to build up the pristine Surly Cross - Check I 'm working on in the basement , thus deferring still more cycling - derived joy . Today , Friday , I am back on two wheels . And grateful for it . Even in the rain . Where I live , the weather is turning cold and wet . Unlike , the Cyclosaur , my blogging domestique , I have seasons to contend with . And so , at this time of year , the greatest challenge to my riding pleasure is having the right clothing on . I should start by telling you that I am fairly oblivious to the cold . When other cyclists are decked out in wind - front tights , heavy jackets and balaclavas , I am often still in shorts . I guess I just run warm . So this morning , when the temperature was in the 40s , I put on shorts , but topped with a long - sleeve jersey and a wool sweater . Because my mother , who watches my kids sometimes , said it was frigid - ass cold ( my words , not hers ) and the wind was icey and brutal , I added a light jacket , a fleece cycling hat and full - fingered gloves . I was overheated inside of ten minutes . I shucked the jacket . And the gloves . I believe that , in colder weather , the best clothing strategy is one that has you fairly cold for the first ten minutes of your ride . The idea is that you will warm into some sort of balance between too - hot and too - cold . If there is one thing I hate it 's riding while bathed in sweat , which , in my experience , is also a bad thing to do in cold weather , because then when you stop riding all that moisture becomes a serious liability . Breathability is important . There is a general clamor , in the cycling world , for wind - proof gear . I have some , but what I find , mostly , is that wind - proof means air - tight , which means too much heat builds up under there . I can only wear wind - proof if the mercury is south of 35 degrees . Or if it 's raining like it 's mad at me . The thing that really makes dressing so difficult this time of year is that the weather is so goddamned variable . One day it 's sunny and 55 . The next day its 40 and raining . It 's all over the map . So every time I walk out the front door onto the porch , with my bike slung over my shoulder , it 's really just a guess . Sometimes I turn around and head back in for more ( or less ) clothing . Other times I hurl myself into the meteorologicalPosted by Found myself in a discussion with co - workers about riding in the city . Most them don 't do it , cause it 's too scary . And one of them used to do it , but doesn 't do it anymore , cause it 's too scary . Well , of course it 's fucking scary . It 's like being a minnow in a sea full of great white fucking sharks . There are doors swinging out to break your collar bones . If you fall off , you land on fucking asphalt . If someone farts funny while talking on the phone and smoking a cigarette , they can run right the fuck over you with a bump and a bump and thanks for fucking playing . For some stupid reason , I catalogued my accidents for them , which just made them talk more about how scary and dangerous it was , and mostly I found myself agreeing with them . And for about half - a - minute I thought , " Christ , maybe I should stop riding every day . " And then I remembered a couple of the reasons I 'm not going to do that . First of all , it 's fucking thrilling . You zip in and out and through and around traffic , all these stupid , drooling , going - nowhere cars , and it 's like you 're super - charged . You can 't be stopped . You leave them all , sitting right where they were in their crappy exhaust and their dripping , wheezing enginey shittiness . Second , it 's great fucking exercise . I mean , I ride about half - an - hour to work and back twice a day . I ride to the store . I ride to AA meetings and to friend 's houses . I ride . And I 'm in great shape . Almost all my friends are fat . HA ! You 're fucking fat , and I 'm not . Suck shit ! I ride . Third , you see parts of the city that you would NEVER see walking or driving or whatever other way you want to get around . A bike makes frivolous adventure much less frivolous . Like , " What 's down that alley over there ? I don 't know . I think I 'll ride the fuck over there and find out . It 'll only take a second . " The difference between an eight - mile route to work and a ten - mile ride to work is nothing . I take a little extra time . I see all kinds of different shit . Riding is awful . If you ride , you will fall off . Hazards will come flying at yoPosted by I 'm riding again . It has been two days so far . I lost some strength ! Very surprising . My breathing is hard but that 's probably due to the sinus infection . But my legs actually feel it a lot more now . I noticed it right away at the first climb . I hit it soft . Like the hill was made of deep soft grass . It was such a loss of speed that my brain lit up with , " uh oh . This is going to suck ! " Now , I don 't know how much strength I lost , but I still had much more than I did when I started biking . So , I was easily able to grind to the top , but it was exactly that , a grind . It used to be sorta easy . I feel a sort of sadness now on my ride . The thing is I sorta missed the start of fall with my shoulder / sickness layoff . Now when I get on the bike and start my ride , it 's dark out . Like the darkest before the dawn dark . I roll off the precipice of my driveway and plunge in with my weak flashing LEDs tearing at the dark . I channel my inner robot - who is lazily programed to not follow the rules of the road , and I take up an entire lane and roll through every light . I glide past darkened houses towards the next traffic light who is metering for no one . Finally , when I get to my bus stop I happily say good morning to the first person I see . Just so I can hear their response and assure myself I 'm not a ghost . Tuesdays I ride down through Harvard Square to the river and from there I take the path that runs between the slowly flowing water of the Charles and the fast running traffic of Storrow Drive . On one side , roaring , buzzing , honking traffic , on the other the river , Canada and snow geese , mallards , skittering pigeons and a smattering of people rowing their whisper thin sculls back and forth . This morning I was rolling along , neither pushing the pedals hard nor dogging it , when I glanced off to my left and saw a giant blue heron standing in the shallows , stock still and stretched to its full height . So I stopped , because I could , because I wasn 't in a car , in traffic , in a hurry , and sealed off from the world . I stood and watched for about 10 minutes . What an incredible animal , almost four feet tall with its neck fully stretched , then stalking along the river 's rocky edge , it 's neck curled and cocked in a backwards S , ready to stab out at a fish . When standing its feathers laid smooth like a slick plastic rain coat . When creeping along in the hunt , its back feathers caught the wind and fluttered . Just amazing . I love riding , just for the sake of it . I love the feeling of motion under the wheels . It can be effortless sometimes , like flying or gliding , but cycling also gives me a connection to the world and a flexibility that driving or walking don 't . I can be a snob . It comes naturally , a voice sneering and scoffing and laughing in the back of my head . Why do people ride tandem bicycles ? Why ? Being stuck to another person is completely antithetical to my concept of the reason for riding a bicycle in the first place , that is to be independent and free . Every time I see a tandem , I cringe . Why do people wrap themselves in lycra to ride across town to work ? Are they shaving valuable seconds off their commute ? Are they so consumed with the wicking of moisture and arriving at work dry as the desert that they must employ hundreds of dollars of technical fabrics to go to the grocery store ? How you need bib tights and rainbow - bright jersey to pedal your hybrid to the coffee shop is a mystery to me . Why do hipsters spend $ 3000 on fixed - gear bicycles ? I 've seen them . Why take a simple thing and make it into a carbon - fibered , space - age - engineered rocket cycle ? You 're just going to get falafel . Surely a simple steel bike would do the trick , even somewhat stylishly . But these are all pointless questions . The pertinent query is : WHY DO I CARE ? I don 't have to wear the lycra . I don 't have to ride the tandem . I don 't have to spend the money . Each of us has our own crazy ideas . And , if cycling is about freedom and independence , then each of us is free to pedal whatever two - wheeled Frankenstein we want . We can dress like clowns or woodland gnomes . It doesn 't matter . It certainly shouldn 't matter to me . And on good days , it doesn 't . Or even millimeters . They can make a difference . For example , I ride in sneakers . I used to ride in a sweet ass pair of Sidi road shoes , but I got tired of schlepping extra shoes around all the time . When I switched over to single - speed it was part of an overall simplification of my whole way of riding . And so I began riding in sneakers . The sneakers I normally wear are Vans ' Old Skools , a classic skate shoe with a toe cap that pushes the side of the shoe out about a millimeter - and - a - half . Just that little bit at the inside of my pedal stroke often brushes the crank and squeaks . Not only does it make an annoying sound , it also slows me down . When I switch to sneakers without a toe cap ( like slip ons or Vans ' Eras ) there 's no squeak , and no drag . A millimeter - and - a - half . Similarly , I recently switched out my handlebars . I went from the bullhorns I 've been riding for about two years to a chopped down straight bar . My wife remarked on how narrow the bars looked , but they 're actually an inch - and - a - half wider than the bullhorns , and the result is a little more stability in low speed turning and any time I 've got my front wheel off the ground . Try raising your seat to its optimal height , then pushing it up a further centimeter . Ride that way for a week and tell me you don 't have saddle sores . I used to crap on bicycle fussiness , that obsession with getting everything exactly right , and to some degree I still do . I mean , ride your fucking bike . Ride it . There comes a time when you 're spending more time tweaking than actually riding . And that 's just nuts . On the other hand , the bicycle can be a deceptively complicated machine , a carefully balanced gyroscope with wide but not infinite tolerances . I am now coming to understand the ways small adjustments effect that balance . It has only taken me about thirty years of riding to begin to understand . And that boggles my mind . First , please excuse my lengthy absence . Unlike my friend , the Cyclosaur , it 's not that I haven 't been riding . I 've been riding more than ever . In fact , it 's all the riding and thinking about riding that has made any effort to put riding into words seem so futile . The truth is , I 've been in a very excellent place vis a vis gliding along on two wheels . It started with some changes . I believe I wrote a few weeks back about having popped a chain and then getting a new chain and that new chain grinding horribly against the chain ring , and anyway if I didn 't , I should have , cause that 's what happened . And I spent some days riding around with a 15mm socket wrench trying to get the grinding to go away by adjusting and readjusting and rereadjusting the chainline , all to no avail . I then flipped my wheel to the fixed ring , and VOILA , no more grind . So I 've been riding fixed , something I previously chose not to do , because I thought it was unsafe . But my bike mechanic said something to me the night he replaced my chain that finally settled in about three days later , which is , " look , you say you have more control when you ride free , because you can stop pedaling , but the truth is you have less control . When you 're fixed you can stop with your legs AND with your brake . When you 're free you only have the brake , and you 're almost guaranteed to go over the bars if you use it . " So I 'm riding fixed . It 's a change , and I 'm learning to control the bike better , and I actually feel very comfortable with it now . What I needed to do was accept the change , to ride a different way and learn something new and see what I thought about it afterwards . I think I 've spent too much time thinking I knew how to ride . I don 't . I think I could pedal my whole life and only scratch the surface of it . So then the other night I was looking at my handlebars ( bullhorns with a single MTB brake lever mounted on the left ) , and I decided , on a whim , to swap out for straight bars . Again , at first I was uncomfortable , I 'd lost the hand position I used to sprint and clPosted by My shoulder feels good . My tires are pumped up with air . My bag is packed . My jacket is laid out on the chair . I 'm ready to go . But I 'm not going . I 'm sick . I can cough up scrambled eggs . I think it 's eggs . It sure looks like it . I should try to get someone to try them . I 'm not trying them . I mean , jeez , I just spit that crap out . What if this was my mutant power . I spit scrambled eggs . What would that mean ? I think I 'd probably have to be a super villain . Well maybe not " super " . Super gross maybe . But anyway I think I 'd be a villain . I 'd go into the bank and just ask for the money . All nice like . They 'd say " no . " I 'd say " you sure ? " Then I 'd just start spraying out the scrambled eggs . Like a fire hose ! Just hosing that place down like it 's on fire ! Then I 'd stop and say " how about now ? " and they 'd be all " holy crap ! Cut that out . That 's nasty . Here 's the money ! Go away . " Could be a good gig . I could be a hero too I guess . I could just go to Africa or something and feed people , but really , who 's that hungry ? I suppose I should write something about bikes and commuting now . I hope to ride my bike next week . I 'm spitting up a lot less eggs today . There . Done . A bus via a car . That 's my commute these days . I dislocated my shoulder again . Holy fuck that hurts . I super manned up tho . Told the doc I didn 't want meds . Just put it back in . I have to go . I can 't waste time in the ER . I gotta get home before this kid wakes up and unleashes her fury on being taken to such a wholly un - fun place as this . So I couldn 't ride . Not sure I still can but I 'm going to next week . I have most of my mobility back but my arm is a little Tyrannosaur arm . It 's there , but it 's feeble and weak . I just need it to steady the handle bar and that 's about it . My point of this post was just to post and not be dead . I was hoping it would be a nice post but I know that the Robot got pulled over ( AGAIN ) this morning so his story is going to trump the hell out of mine . His tale of being stuffed into a police cruiser trunk and driven out to Quincey and hung out by his ankles over a quarry and made to give up his gang . Of course he wouldn 't talk . So they dropped him and he had to hide below the surface and play dead . Luckily he found an air pocket in an old submerged refrigerator . So he waited till the air was gone and swam up to the surface and climbed out of the quarry and rode back to Boston to make a 10am meeting . It 's a great tale . You 'll love it . I wrote a note to the Mayor of Boston one morning in June : DATE / TIME : 6 / 13 / 2008 9 : 38 : 41 PMSUBJECT : cycling in BostonMESSAGE : Mayor Menino , I appreciate the focus you 've brought to cycling in the City of Boston , and I applaud what efforts you 've made to make the city more friendly for cyclists . As an every day rider myself , I would suggest that the best thing you can do for cyclists is to enforce traffic laws . Many people I know who say they would like to ride their bicycles to work won 't do so , because they 're frightened by our traffic . Drivers run lights , fail to signal and generally flout the traffic laws anyway they want . I have never seen a driver receiving a moving violation in the City of Boston . Never . I believe that reining in Boston 's renegade drivers would do a lot , not only to improve conditions for cyclists , but also for visitors to our city . Anything you can do would be appreciated . PunkRockBicycleRobot ( not how I really signed it ) I received a reply today : Dear Mr . Robot : Thank you for emailing Mayor Menino . This email is to confirm we received your message . I will forward your concerns to the appropriate personnel . Sincerely , Disinterested City Employee ( not her real name ) Interim Communications AideSo , wow ! It took three months to get a form letter back from the city , essentially telling me that they got my note and will now forward it off into space , someday to see it collide with an errant comet or other piece of space debris . So , of course , once you reach a certain age , a simple bicycle accident is no long just a simple bicycle accident . The week after my mishap , I found I was very angry on the bike . I pounded on the trunks of cabs . I yelled at drivers who failed to signal . I was clearly shaken by the experience and taking it out on anyone who crossed my path . Also , my wrist still hurts . I 've been riding with a wrist brace on , which sucks and is uncomfortable . And because my body is older than it used to be , I can only assume this injury will linger into the winter . I 'm off the bike today , trying to get it a little extra rest . Not sure what I 'll do tomorrow . Probably not the smart thing . Last Thursday I compounded my cycling misery with a mechanical on the way home in the dark . I was cranking along when all of a sudden I heard a POP - TING ! ! For a moment I thought maybe I had kicked a rock up into the frame , but then there was another POP , and the pedals went slack . I 'd somehow blown the master link on my chain . The first sound was the face plate flying off and dinging the frame . The second was the link letting go . Fortunately , I was just up the hill ( and thus able to coast ) from my bike shop , AND the lunatic who owns the place was still there , half - an - hour after closing time . So he slapped a new chain on for me . It 's too bad that , in his haste to get me going ( and thus get himself home ) he mis - adjusted the spacing on the rear wheel , so that every heavy pedal stroke produces a horrible grinding sound that repeated dirtying of my hands has failed to fix . That 's another reason I left the bike home today . That horrible , horrible sound . It goes away if I flip the wheel and ride fixed , but given the dodginess of my wrist , that prospect held no little charm either . The Cyclosaur sustained an injury of his own , which has kept him off his steel mount for some weeks . I wish he 'd go ahead and tell us about it , but he 's too busy for the likes of us . Me . You . And our silly hobby . Well , it finally happened . I got hit . Fortunately , it was a side swipe and not a head on , and I saw it coming , so I was able to mitigate the damage . What happened is that I was riding fast up one of Cambridge 's central thoroughfares ( one of the ones I wrote about avoiding the other day ) in the bike lane , when a woman in a Volvo passed me on the left . She then put on her right turn signal and cut straight across my lane , trying to get into the grocery store parking lot . I yelled . Loud . She pulled her head out of her ass just in time to keep from cleaning me out completely , but I skidded into her front quarter panel , trying not to go over the hood . In the process I seem to have acquired a little road rash on the back of my right hand and a slight sprain of my left wrist . When I got up off the pavement , I said something like , " Did you not fucking see me ? Did you not fucking look ? Let me answer for you . No . You didn 't fucking look . " She mouthed the words , " Are you ok ? " through the windshield ( she didn 't get out ) , and I said , " I 'm ok . " and rode off , cause I was pissed . Apparently I was also completely jacked on adrenaline . I flew the rest of the way home , oblivious to the pain in my wrist . When I got home finally , I was talking a mile a minute and sweating like a fiend . It took a little while to settle down . I can see that I was enormously lucky not to be hurt worse . Not to be killed . I mean , Volvos are heavy . They don 't have to hit you that hard to do serious , even fatal , damage . The whole experience reinforces that old idea that it doesn 't matter how careful you are . You can never tell what other people are going to do . This woman should have seen me . She passed me . I was right there in front of her , and then next to her , and then bouncing off her front end . I was doing everything correctly . I was in my lane . And then bang ! Fortunately I have a day off the bike today ( home with the baby ) , and a leftover left - handed wrist brace , from a previous injury . So , I 'm braced up , and hoping to be healed enough by tomorrow morning toPosted by In the interests of sanity , I have begun riding alternate routes . When I ride the same car and cyclist choked arteries every day , I find I end up yelling at drivers and shaking my head at helmet - less idiots . I don 't know why I expect the world to be any other way than it is , i . e . full of idiots , me among them , but that 's what happens when I force myself through the city 's narrowest sluices along with the rest of the human detritus . And so , many mornings , I ride out of the way , down Mass Ave . and up the river , pedaling slowly past the homeless who camp there , the tattered Canada geese who shit all over the path and the morning joggers who all impress me with their shear will to improve themselves . That is a quiet , peaceful ride , despite Storrow Drive roaring its way alongside . I keep my head cocked to the river side . I watch the rowers in their sculls , gliding along the water , the mallards and cormorants sunning themselves . I gauge the wind by the ripples on the water and try hard not to hurry . On the way home , I 've been veering off the mainline , Hampshire St , that cuts through Cambridge , and riding up to Union Square , where the pavement is almost lunar with bumps and craters . Beyond that I catch Summer Street , which climbs the long hill to Somerville Hospital . No one rides that route because it 's all up . Commuters don 't climb if they don 't have to . So I have it to myself , and I have to say it 's made me stronger . What was once a lung - busting grind , is now a steady spin . With a wind at my back , I 've even sprinted the whole thing . What a feeling that is , to sprint a hill I once struggled to summit with my one stingy gear . Sometimes the hardest thing to do while riding a bicycle is to just sit and ride . It is only too easy to get wrapped up in everything else that goes on around you , the lousy drivers , the weather , the heat . I am at my best when I just sit and ride . Just shut the hell up and ride . Yeah , so having learned little or nothing from the warning ticket I was written last week , I seem to be courting disaster by seeking confrontation / interaction with the police officers of our fair city . On Thursday , I pulled up behind a cop car in Cambridge . We were both pulling on to Cambridge Ave actually , and he didn 't signal . So , of course , I rode up next to him , and asked , " Hey , if you don 't use your turn signals , why would anyone else ? " A conversation ensued . Sort of . He told me I was a jerk and that I should worry about myself , to which I replied , " I do worry about myself , which is why I 'm asking the question . " That didn 't go over so well , but I didn 't get arrested . I will say that I maintained a respectful tone of voice during the whole exchange . I apologized if he felt I was asking an unreasonable question . I think he just acted like an asshole cause he knew I was right . Either that , or he was an asshole . Then , yesterday , on my way home , I had a cop step out in front of me in Boston . I slowed down . Apparently he hadn 't seen me , probably cause he didn 't look . I followed behind him for 10 or 15 yards , at which point he glanced over his shoulder and said , " Oh , sorry , " and stepped out of the way . I said , " Hey , you 've got a gun . I figured I 'd let you go first . " He smiled and said , " Don 't make me use it , " but he was laughing and clearly wasn 't flustered . Nor did he feel it necessary to let me know that he was a cop and that I shouldn 't be talking to him . A nice guy . I rode on . But again , it all has me thinking about the way the city works , who is in charge , why we 've given them the power and whether or not they deserve it . Is there any better way ? I still see it as sort of a free for all . With all our laws , even simple things like traffic laws , there seems to be little black and white , little rhyme or reason . Or perhaps I just have trouble with the gray of it . Maybe I 'm just not intuiting what I ought to be doing , how I ought to behave . So I 'll just keep pedaling . I 'll just keep climbing the hills and coasting the turnsPosted by I completely neglected to mention on Friday that I got a ticket for running a light on my bike . I came through a busy intersection in Cambridge , and there was a bike cop detail there snaring cyclists for blowing through the light . I didn 't even wait for them to pull me over . I just rode right up to them . They seemed surprised . They said , " Do you know why we stopped you ? " And I said , " Of course , that 's why I just stopped . " I admitted my wrong - doing . I implored them to write an equal number of tickets for motorists failing to signal and driving in the bike lane . They said they would do that . I took my ticket and left . That ticket bothered me . I simmered and steamed all the way to work . I won 't go into all the reasons , because truthfully , I deserved the ticket . I broke the law . Every reason I can and did cook up is just my ego screaming for the world to be different than it really is . There shouldn 't be so many cars . Cars should drive better . Blah . Blah . Blah . There are red lights . You 're supposed to stop . I didn 't . Not only did I not stop , but I willfully blow through lights . I posted here not that long ago about lights and small rebellion I make against them . This ticket ( which turned out to be just a warning after I looked at it more closely ) provided a fresh canvas for me to work out my feelings about laws and lights and bicycles and cars . I mean , what if I got a ticket every week , at $ 20 a pop ? Would I continue my scofflaw ways ? Probably not . $ 20 a week is $ 80 a month less to spend on bike shit . That what law enforcement types call " effective deterrence . " So what does that mean about quality of my rebellion ? If I can be silenced for $ 20 a week , I must not be very rebellious , eh ? I suppose I could just not pay the tickets . I mean , are they going to take my bike ? Suspend my license to ride ? My license to ill ? I could call their bluff . I could end up being thrown in Cambridge City Jail , ignominiously , for failure to pay up , have my shoelaces taken away . Imagine explaining to the felon next to you in the holding tank thaPosted by I have rain gear . Good stuff . Marmot pants , a Cannondale jacket , the kind of stuff that will keep you dry under most conditions . But this summer I made what was , for me , a radical realization . In the summertime , when it rains , I don 't want to stay dry . I want to get wet . Wet is nice . Wet is cooling . Wet is ( somewhat ) clean . If it 's pouring rain and I put on my rain gear and ride home , it 's like jogging through an 8 mile long steam room wearing a garbage bag . I arrive home just as wet and ten times as stinky . Then I have to wash my rain gear , because it 's nasty from the inside out . So now I ride out into the rain in shorts and a t - shirt . When you 're expecting to get wet , getting wet isn 't at all unpleasant . It can actually be quite fun . The only catch is you have to have a pair of designated rain shoes , shoes you don 't mind soaking , packing with newspaper and then soaking again . Mine double as law mowing sneakers . Another thing to consider is your head , that knobby bit on top of your shoulders . On rainy days I like to wear a cycling cap under my helmet . I pull the brim down over my eyes , and that keeps my clear glasses from getting all rain - dappled , like the TV camera in center field during a rain delay . I hate not wearing glasses . In the city , no glasses usually means picking small rocks out of your eyeballs , especially if you run up on the bus , which I always do . So my new rule is , no rain gear unless it 's under 50F degrees . Cycling cap . Clear glasses . And a wet attitude . Remember when you were a kid and you wondered what it would be like to walk through the car wash ( I always did ) . That 's how a good summer rain is in the city . It 's like a car wash . Water falling on you . Water spraying up on you . Cabs and cars splashing you from the sides . Of course , this is all much more pleasant if you 're riding home , rather than to work , where trying to de - soggify yourself in a bathroom stall is always less than effective and often serves to frighten your co - workers . I 've thought of getting one of those little chamois towels OlympPosted by I 'm getting faster . No doubt about it . One of the things I 'm noticing with my new single speed is how on my toughest climbs what used to seem like the perfect gearing could be a bit taller . I have a nice big turn that rises up on my way home and for the last few days I 'll be about to charge up and notice I have a road bike on my rear wheel . I won 't go down that easy . You 're going to have to pass me on the uphill ! Thing is , they never do . I get out of the saddle add all the speed I can and then sit back and let my legs burn . Next thing you know I 'm at the top and they 're not on my wheel anymore . I 'm off and flying . I think I 'm going to swap that 42 for a 44 . I got my Swobo Del Norte a bit over a week ago . First off let me say it 's incredible looking . The totally understated gun metal grey frame mixed with the flashy red powder coated rims is stunning . People comment all the time . It 's not what people expect a bike to look like . I 'm gaga over the looks of this bike . The second thing that needs to be said is this is a sweet commuter bike . I have to ride about 4 miles to catch a bus . Not that long of a ride . But the roads sorta suck and I do hit some decent hills . The Del Norte is the perfect tool for the job in my case . The cro - mo steel frame and the 700x32 tires soak up the bumps . I like to think of the bike as cruiser bike - lite . It 's so comfy . The gearing is 42 up front and 17 in the rear . A bit easy , but perfect for the commute . I wish I had a bigger front crank on the flats but on my uphills I love it . I routinely reel in other bikers on my ride up hills now and I 'm usually weak on hills . New bike confidence and having no choice about shifting to the " right " gear has probably improved my climbing attitude . The important thing to me is , did this bike fill the need I had . So far it 's an overwhelming yes . The bike is incredibly sturdy and has taken the beating of being tossed around under a bus and I have zero worries about pulling my bike out to ride home and finding parts all bent up . I was a bit put off by the big tires but I 'm enjoying bombing over curbs and I 'm not too worried about blowing out or bending a rim . This bike was at my price point and has delivered 100 % . This bike isn 't perfect tho . I hate the handle bars . They 're sorta bull horned . It 's hard to tell from the pics on the Swobo website but bull horned they are . I like to ride on the brake hoods , but when I 'm just cruising I like to have my hands on the bar and with that curve , my hands are now pointing inward and that puts my wrists in an awkward position . After a few minutes I have to go back to the hoods . Sucks . So I got a new bike and I 'm very happy . Having a new bike has brought me a new luxury as welPosted by Oh , Christ ! ! What is that pain in my quads ? ! ? ! I know . I know . It 's fatigue . But WTF ? Am I just all out of muscle ? Can I not go any farther or any faster ? Well , fuck that . There 's always more in the there , and so what if I can 't climb the stairs to the bedroom later ? I 'm sprinting for this next light . It 's yellow . No . It 's red . Shit . I 'm going anyway . It hurts . Ow . It hurts . But I made it . Why stop now ? Keep sprinting . Hey , it feels kinda good now . The road is not mine . The road is not yours . The road does not belong to cabs or buses or pedestrians . The road does not belong to the police or to the Hare Krishnas . The road is a common space . Therefore , you can 't be in MY way . And I can 't be in YOURS . The " rules of the road " are not rules that are enforced by anyone . Unenforced rules are not rules . They are ideas . Some good . Some bad . The road is a random place where random things happen . Friends get doored . Tires go flat . Hills get climbed . Garbage blows around . Pedestrians move back and forth like water through a semi - permeable membrane . Lights flash and change . Signs say stop and sometimes people stop . Traffic is neither good nor bad . Traffic simply is . Except when it isn 't . Oh , to be the only one on the road , late at night , a chill in the air and fresh asphalt down . I 'm fast then , and no one is in the the way . I think I 've been infected by Da Robot 's love of the single speed . Now that my commute has shortened and is in a more hectic traffic area , I find myself wanting a single . No gears to screw with and a sturdier bike that will be able to handle the bumps and holes around town . I honestly didn 't ever think a single speed would be for me . A lot of my desire for a single speed is now fueled by the fact that I don 't have to worry about my gears getting banged around during the bus portion of my commute . I am NOT a good bike mechanic . If my back falls and the derailleur gets bent , I 'm sorta hosed until I can get to a friends house who knows how to properly adjust such things . Not having to worry about that is really appealing to me . Another thing I 'm really into is the idea that this bike is just the faster lighter version of my cruiser bike . I love my cruiser . I would actually ride that on my commute but it 's outfitted with a child seat now and I really like the attack position that drop bars will give me on a single . The reason I got my cruiser was it was a cheap bike that I didn 't have to worry about . The single I 'm looking at follows that same mode of thought . It 's a cheap bike . And last but not least and surely this can 't be discounted , it 's a new bike . Who doesn 't want a new bike ? This is the stuff Christmas mornings are made of . Just like new sneakers will make you run faster and you can can race your sister to the fireplace to prove it , this bike will make me get to and from the bus faster , safer , and cooler . So I 'm getting a new bike . It 's just a matter of when . You know , I 'm one of those single - speed band wagoneers . I just up and bought one two years ago . I was attracted to the simplicity of it . I had been a roadie , you know , the shoes , lycra , cyclocomputer and also an off - roader , front - suspended , cross country , shoes , lycra , etc . etc . etc . I just got tired of all the stuff , of lugging shoes around , of suiting up to go anywhere , of worrying about my average speed and cadence . Sick and tired of it . So single - speed , no clips , just made sense . And I was hooked pretty quickly . I thought originally that it was the simplicity of it , the purity that all the nerds talk about that got me . This morning I realized that it 's actually the speed I 'm addicted to . Riding single has made me faster . Not thinking about gearing has made me faster . Not having any components hanging on my bike has made me faster . And I just love the speed . I love to sprint across the city , dusting cabs and commuters . I love the traffic weave . I love the twitchy steering and the lack of options . And , as I mentioned in my last post , I love the smooth , quiet hum of the straight chain . I don 't wanna talk about single vs . fixed right now . I 'm not even sure it 's worth talking about . If you love to ride , it doesn 't matter what you ride . Ride a $ 6000 all carbon road bike . Ride a vintage three - speed cruiser . Whatever . Me ? I just wanna go fast . What a mind shattering thing ! My work announced shuttle buses last week that go from the city where I live to my office . This is so cool . I 'm going to save HUNDREDS of dollars in gas , maintenance , and insurance ( now that my miles have gone done ) . However , this totally throws a wrench into my cycling routine . I 'm not a recreational cyclist . I 'm a commuter who loves cycling . I have a very hard time going on a " ride " . In my mind I can 't get over that I 'm not going anywhere . I 'm just going in some big circle . There is no point to it in my mind . People can give me great reasons to ride and I can think of some myself , but I can never convince my brain . I hope I can change this , but so far no good . So a big thing thing in my life was my driving part way to work and cycling the rest of the way . I was doing about 17 miles round - trip . I had a safe park and ride to park in all day for free . I had a great route through some trees with a wide generous bike lane . I had a really good time and I was getting better at cycling . I was feeling really good about myself too . However , with the money I 'm saving from the shuttle and extra time I have to get some more work done on the commute ( we have wifi ! ) , it 's like for me to bike to work , I 'd be paying to ride . That 's just money out of my wallet . I can 't do that right now . So , my park and ride days are numbered for now . This puts a two options on the table for me now . My first thought was to bring my bike to work ( which I do anyway ) and map out a local ride near the office . Ride in the morning before work . This is a pretty good idea . In fact I 'm going to actually try it in blatant disregard to my brain saying it 's just a big circle and what 's the point . There is a catch here tho . The more I ride , the more I want a new bike . However , the bus doesn 't have bike racks . It 's basically a big Greyhound bus . You have to stow your bike underneath and just let it roll around anyway it wants to . If there are other bikes in the hold , then well , they 're going to hit against each other . Since most new bPosted by Well , I went to the LBS and bought a new chain , an SRAM 9 - speed , nickel - plated chain . I as assured that being nickel - plated was a good thing . Other than that , the dude who sold it to me didn 't have a lot to say . I mean , it 's a fucking chain , right . He offered me the KMC colored chains , red , blue , gold , etc . , but I decided I 'm probably not that cool . So I bought the SRAM . It was $ 11 . 99 . It fixed my grinding problem . I cut it down from 114 links to 94 and then lubed it up with Chain - J ( for the record , I really don 't know what the best lube is for the East Coast misery we endure here ) , and VOILA ! No more grind . Happiness is a new chain . So clean . So quiet . I bought a Surly Tuggnut chain tensioner too , but it won 't go on right . The screw won 't turn . When I get it on , it seems to grind against the hub of the rear wheel . I 'm sure I 'm doing something wrong , or the spacing is wrong on my wheel , or whatever . It 's a challenge for another day . I ride a single - speed bicycle . It 's supposed to be smooth and quiet . And yet , it is not . There is a brief grinding in my right pedal on every other pedal stroke . When I really torque the pedals , it is more pronounced . I took the machine to the bike shop to see if they had some idea . Was it a bad bearing in my bottom bracket ? Perhaps a bad bearing in the pedal ? A lose crank ? The bike mechanic at my LBS first tightened everything in the neighborhood of the grinding , without either confirming or denying that he felt the grinding . His efforts produced a tighter , but still grindy , drive train . Another mechanic came over , a guy I trust , and he said that he thought the chain and chain ring were worn down . He offered to put a $ 20 chain ring on my bike . I demurred . I resolved to try to fix it myself and promised to bring it back once I had fucked it up , so he could do it right . We laughed and parted ways , though I could see that he was irritated with me for letting him diagnose and then not paying him to repair . Whatever . Like I want a $ 20 chain ring . Doesn 't he know I 'm the modern day Fausto Coppi ? Something about his diagnosis just didn 't ring true with me . Why would a worn chain ring produce a grinding sensation only at the top of every second pedal stroke ? Chain rings are round . If there was a defect or worn spot , it would produce the grind on every pedal stroke . I have been thinking about this , literally , for weeks without buying a new set of cranks and a chain ring . I did replace the pedals , but only because the ones I had were a little smashed up from all the times I 've crashed that fucking bike . And so , on the way home last night , I was obsessing about the chain ring and trying to ignore the grinding feeling and it was slowly driving me crazy and suddenly it struck me . The source of the problem is obvious . I have a bad link in my chain . The chain ring has 48 teeth . If the chain has 96 links ( which seems about right ) that would produce a grinding every other rotation of the pedals . A new chain costs $ 10 . If I prove myself Posted by I am buying a new bike . That 's less a statement about what I am doing currently and more a description of my general state at all times . I am buying a new bike . What that means is that I am constantly trolling Craig 's List , eBay , VeloSpace , et . al . looking at frames and parts . Mostly I 'm looking for a new single speed , but I don 't know whether that means an old , steel Italian road frame that I hang new parts on , or a new track frame , or one of these in - between kind of jobs like a cross bike with aggressive geometry or whatever . Everyday I decide exactly what I want , and the next day I second guess myself . I am very susceptible to the advice of others . Even if they know less than I do , which is not much . I have begun to feel bike sick . Bike sickness is marked by an unquenchable lust for the next ride . Purchasing the next ride will only redouble the symptoms of the disease . Further , there is an inexorable slide toward malaise as you spend more time reading about bicycles than riding them . It is a most dire affliction . If not arrested at its outset , it can sometimes lead to working in bike shops . Don 't let this happen to you . The only cure is riding the bike you 've got , preferably fast , then taking it home , cleaning it and taking a long , hot shower . Breathe in , I don 't need a new bike . Breathe out , I love the bike I 've got . Breathe in , I don 't need a new bike . Breathe out , but maybe a single - speed 29er MTB will make me happy . . . How the H - E - L - L do I follow the Cyclosaur 's bloody sphincter ? Fuck it . I don 't know . Just gotta get back in the locker room , push some weights , work hard and leave it all out here on the field . Wear a helmet . Stop not wearing a helmet . As cavalier as I was about obeying traffic signals in my last post , I really think you ought to wear a helmet . And by all means , cut it with the headphones . If you can 't hear me giving you the " ON YOUR LEFT ! " then there 's a good chance you 're going to swerve over and kill me . Forget about the cabs that want us both dead . Now you 're dangerous TO ME ! And CHRIST ! If you refuse to wear a helmet AND wear headphones while you ride , you 're practically begging Charles Darwin to pluck you from the gene pool . You want to die . Do me a favor and don 't die in the bike lane . Where will all the cabs park ? To be clear , I don 't like wearing a helmet either . When I ride bike paths or other no - traffic routes , I will , occasionally go helmetless . This is , I think , a calculated risk , a low one . But not wearing a helmet while riding in city traffic is begging for a shattered melon , a permanent speech impediment , a gimpy walk . I like your cycling hat . It 's a cool hat . You look hip . Now put on a fucking helmet . Seriously . I got the seatpost . I got it last Friday . That 's a fast trip from Kentucky to my door . Nice . Now it was a matter of getting time to get the seat out of it 's box and on to my bike which considering everything that I have going on , was going to be a challenge . On Saturday I spotted an opening and hit it . With UPS box in hand I went out to the studio in the back yard and went to work on my bike . First thing was to clean off all the grease . The Easton EC - 70 instructions said to do this . I pretty much did everything they said . They repeatedly threatened my life every other sentence . I 'm surprised they didn 't say anything about how if I goofed anything up installing the post , the seatpost would kill me and then come for my family like Keyser Söze . Well I cleaned my bike . Got all the old grease out and put in the seatpost . I used my new torque wrench ( very glad I bought it ) and tightened everything down after fitting it to my size . However , I was out of time . The test ride would have to wait . Sunday morning arrived with me waking up far earlier than I would have wanted . I sat in bed and realized I was the only one up . This was a good time to ride the bike . It was a foggy California morning and I rode down to the ocean and rode until I was pretty much wet with a good slick of salty fog water . The seat post actually did deaden vibrations I was feeling . I was actually shocked . I sorta didn 't think it would work . So there I was riding alone on early morning roads with salty ocean air and actually feeling kind of comfortable . Not bad . From time to time this site will employ blue humor . I should really say " brown humor " . We love us some poop stories and jokes . Like this one : So as you 've read my ass has been hurting . Turns out I have / had a hemoroid . I say " had " because I went and took a big dump after lunch and when I went to wipe it was like I stumbled upon a double murder in my ass crack . For reals . Like two people were brutally murdered with a log of shit . Like they were bludgeoned to death in there . Just horrific . Sorry , to break your cherry like this , but I don 't think it 's fair to give you the impression that this sort of post isn 't going to happen . I 'm pretty sure my wife has just grabbed her head in disbelief and is hoping that none of her friends ever read this . But honestly , is this worse than me jumping in the Willamette River behind a JC Penny 's naked yelling " I AM THE SNOWBUCK ! " This was to be expected as exhibited by a previous pattern of behavior . So , where I last left off , I was dealing with a sore ass from my cheap aluminum bike . I really should say sore grundle / taint ( use Urban Dictionary if you don 't know what I 'm talking about but you probably know ) . Anyhoo , I had taken steps to fix this . I have NO idea if my steps will fix anything . It seemed like a good idea at the time . I ordered a carbon fiber seatpost . I went to Colorado Cyclist and ordered an Easton EC - 70 Carbon seatpost . I read some reviews and the prevailing vibe was it didn 't suck . I figured at about 100 bucks that 's my price point to be allowed to make a mistake every few months . Besides , this wasn 't going to make anything worse . I felt excited that this could be good . So excited that I splurged and got 2nd day air / error . Why look how cute I am with my " air / error " ! What 's the error ? Let me tell you ! So I keep checking my mail . Looking for my shipment notice . The rest of the afternoon , the rest of the night , the next day , I keep checking then finally it ships ! Hurray ! However , I 'm a bit miffed that it took so long to put in the mail but ok , things happen . The next day I check the tracking info . My seat post is in Kentucky . I live in California . My seatpost was sent from Colorado . Uh . That 's sorta in the wrong way . I mean you can keep going east and it 'll get here I suppose , but . . . Ok . Maybe it 's some sort of UPS hub ? I dunno . To UPS 's credit they did a fast ass turn around on moving the package to a plane on it 's way to Oakland , CA . So this morning I look at the tracking info and the seatpost is out for delivery . That 's good . I 'll have it for the weekend . Which is good . BUT , I had wanted it on Thursday - 2 days from after I ordered it . So I 'm pissed . I 'm not sure if that 's ok tho . UPS did do 2nd day shipping . They were fast . Colorado Cyclist was not fast . I went under the assumption that something with a shipping upgrade would get put in the mail ASAP . I mean I chose 2nd day . Don 't they think I would want it 2 days from the time of purchase ? But maybe I ordered it too late in the day for them to Posted by Do you stop at stop lights ? Do you go at go lights ? Do you slow down at slow down lights ? As a Robot , I am programmed to respond to simple cues , such as colored lights . BUT ! ! ! ! I am a special kind of robot , a punk rock bicycle robot , and I have overridden this light - sensitive programming . I don 't stop at lights . To be clear , I stop when stopping is necessary , as when automobiles are passing parallel to my path at great speed . I do that . Self - preservation is innate , even for a robot . In general , however , I use traffic lights as advice . Sometimes the advice is good , and sometimes the advice is bad . There was a time when I never stopped at all . I was reckless . Then I had baby robots and began to think more of them than for my own wanton speed - lust . More and more often now , I heed the advice the lights give me . This brings me to the topic of whether or not it is ok to disregard traffic lights . From a legal perspective , the answer is clearly : NO . From a moral perspective , the answer is probably also : NO . The lights represent the rules by which we all must live , and to ignore them is to erode the fabric of society . From a practical perspective , the answer is probably also : NO . As cyclists we need the drivers of automobiles to respect us . As soon as they see us as annoying scofflaws , they begin driving in our designated lanes ( though there are few of those where I live ) , pushing us off the road and generally operating their machinery as if we don 't exist , all of which is dangerous for us . For that reason alone , we should probably all obey the lights . HOWEVER . If I wanted to wait through every red light I came to , I 'd drive a freakin ' car . Cycling isn 't just transportation to me . Cycling is power and freedom . Sometimes , when no cars are coming , I exercise that power and freedom to zip off across a static intersection , leaving the befuddled drivers to worry at their radios and drum their fingers on sun - faded steering wheels . The immature part of me sees the streets as the place the us vs . them plays out . My running of lights iPosted by I am the kind of robot that rides bicycles , velocipedes , two - wheeled , gyroscopic transportation devices , or as I like to think of them , movement robots . They take me to my work . They take me to my home . I ride them with my little robots . My wife unit makes funny jokes about my preoccupation with them . Other places I take them include : grocery stores , cafes , the homes of friends , fire stations , churches , libraries , bike shops , et . al . What the Cyclosaur has invited me to do is share what data I have about cycling with you , the human reading public . I will endeavor to format my data in a way that is pleasing to your aesthetic sensibilities . As I share a basic anatomy with you , or , at least , the male half of you , I should be able to provide some insight about not rupturing certain valuable , corporeal components , what you call " nuts . " I will also , whenever possible , try to imagine what it 's like to operate a bicycle while in possession of a vagina . Very soon I would like to share my thoughts with you as regards the red , yellow and green traffic regulation devices you call " lights . " That is all . I 'm not really a fan of comics that start with " the origin " . I like to start with a good story . Some real suspense , a classic villain ! Let the origin unfold around issue 6 maybe . But slowly , so by issue 25 maybe you can drop a HUGE bombshell ! Something like , the main villain is the hero 's father and HIS hand was cut off with a lightsaber TOO ! So that 's what I 'm hoping to do here with this here blog . Tho The Robot may do something else completely . Probably something that makes sense , is well thought out , and properly spelled . I will not reveal my origin story in these first posts . I will attempt to solve a simple crime and hint at my major villain to come . If you 're looking at this first post as a whole you may be thinking or saying ( much to the annoyance of the guy in the cube next to you ) , " What ? ! 3 paragraphs ? That 's your opening salvo ? " Yes . That is . Baby steps and all that . But since you may have read this far and I hope not aloud , I will give you a major hint at what a future post may be about ! I have an aluminum bike and my ass hurts ( yes I have a seat attached to the seatpost ) . What could possibly happen ! ? Posted by
|
What does that mean ? It means I have a shot , granted a very slim chance , at winning one of twenty prizes awarded . It 's true , I 'm a small town Latrobe start - up company in our second year , and there were roughly 35 , 000 participants in the 2013 contest , so the odds are not in my favor ( a little Hunger Games reference ) . I get it , but I also know someone , 20 small businesses to be exact , will win . Why not try ? Before I forget and get wrapped up in the details of this contest , please vote . If you voted , thank you so very much ! There is only one vote per person permitted and currently as of now , I only need 39 more votes to go in 10 days . The big prize or the crème de la crème is winning the $ 150 , 000 grant ( naturally I 'll have to pay all local , state and federal taxes ) . In addition to the prerequisites to entering the contest , such as the number of employees , the minimum of two years in business and such , I had to complete essay questions . I met the strict criteria with flying colors , the easy part , but the questionnaire took some time to work out . There were several sets of questions to answer including outlining the details to how the money will be used if won . A great way to force me to think wisely with respect to spending , on a micro and macro level , with or without winning . Thinking this way will only help Thrill of the Hunt in the long run . The money will help Thrill of the Hunt expand our public events into other cities and states . It will also give me the resources to truly promote our events AS AN EVENT ! With every public scavenger hunt and new city we participate in , Thrill of the Hunt meets new contacts and promotes our services as a scavenger hunt adventure for private functions ! These public and private scavenger hunts give me the marketing power to promote Thrill of the Hunt with the use of Google keywords , increasing our SEO within each hosted area . See how both sides of the house play off of each other and yet , are mutually independent ? That was not by chance but by my design . Last year I participated in the Intuit Big Game Small Business Contest . Why do I take the time to do so when my time is so limited ? I enter these very hard to win contests for several reasons . First and foremost for the opportunity to win . They each have a very enticing draw , which will benefit Thrill of the Hunt tremendously if awarded . Again , I 'm not so blind to realize the odds , but like I said , someone has to win . I feel if I don 't try , I am doing my company an injustice and a missed opportunity . Plus , completing the application is a great process to go through . It helps to reevaluate the direction of the company and truly get to the heart and soul of the business . I mean that . These contests ask the tough questions or ones not even considered . Like what ? Besides the typical short and long - term goals and competition , they ask ' Why did you start the business ? ' , ' What will winning mean to your company ? ' , " What made you want to be an entrepreneur ? ' , and ' How does your company help the community ? ' . Writing up the essay questions is a great way to evaluate yourself as a business owner and the company . It also helps to really narrow your focus or confirm your business model . Not to mention , the more that is written about your company , the better your copy sounds and is refined . It also recharges your battery and builds excitement , reiterates why the company was started in the first place . Keeping the passion up and going can be a challenge too . Every little bit of encouragement helps . Did I mention with these essay questions they are usually limited to about 1 , 000 to 1 , 500 characters ? Not words , but characters including the spaces . Yikes , that 's right ! That in itself is very difficult and challenging , but it forces a person to really eliminate all the unwanted bull and the unnecessary words to capture the true essence of the company . Like I said a great practice to go through . Another big factor with these contests is the marketing aspect . Yes , the national promotion of being associated with a big name , and naturally the prestige of winning under said name is a bonus , but also the indirect publicity with friends and family . This helps to spread the word on the company to those who might not know you are in business for yourself , or may not know exactly what it is you do . Those people who we take for granted and are often times overlooked are monumental to a company ! These contests force a person to reach out to EVERYONE , especially when it comes to the voting process , which they all seem to share . It 's a great way to introduce a company on a very personal level without commitment . It 's also a great excuse to continue promoting the company to those who are very aware of the business and to maintain top of mind awareness . Believe it or not , all this activity and project development does take time but helps to get your thoughts together to really understand your own company . That was always a big fear of mine , not having a clear defined message . Working in an ad agency with an eclectic assortment of industries and companies , I 've seen the opposite . Believe it or not , I 'm not talking about small companies but established businesses with major resources . I 've seen them fall short on the focus of their company or have yet to find their true niche . Scary . To anyone who has a start - up company , or is thinking of doing so , or is already up and running , take the time to invest in these contests . No I 'm not being paid to promote them , and yes , they are long shots , but with experience comes understanding and knowledge . More importantly , theses exercises will get you thinking differently and out of your comfort zone . Plus , someone has to win ! Thank you to everyone who has helped me out with Thrill of the Hunt in one way or another over the years . Your involvement has been appreciated and needed ! Most are friends and family who want to see my company succeed , but some are strangers who see potential in my business . To everyone who voted , spread the word , sent me leads , gave advice and direction or just gave me words of encouragement , I want to send a very sincere Thank You ! I wouldn 't have made it this far without everyone 's help . Two weekends ago , well actually that entire week , I was working in my yard . Yes , the very same yard work I should have done in the spring , or even the summer and yet here I am , trying to get it done before winter sets in and hunting season starts . Luckily , we 've had a pretty mild fall . We 've even been blessed with nice temperatures in the 50 's and 60 's and overcast with some sun . Perfect for outside work . I 'm glad I got my work done because as of today , the snow rolled in . Only a few inches but still a pleasant sight . I love snow ! You see spring always seems to sneak up on me and then I miss the boat with respect to tending to the lawn . Then summer rolls around and I don 't handle the heat and the sun too well . Literally ! Being outside in the sun makes me sick to my stomach . I get really bad headaches and let 's not forget about my sun sensitive skin . I have to be pretty well covered and protected from the harmful rays at all hours of the day , especially in the summer . And those summer months , I am usually busy with Thrill of the Hunt events . So there you have it , back to fall work in the yard . What needed done ? The usual , mowing and weeding and trimming , which I have elected to do about once a month now - a - days . I 'm sure my neighbors love that sight . Actually , they should be thankful , for I make their lawns look perfect ! Last Thursday night , early Friday morning we had one heck of a windstorm roll through . It resulted in a tree branch taking down a power - line , right down the road from my parents . Guess what ? I couldn 't work on my company stuff nor my freelancing work , since my " office " is in the corner of their kitchen with my desktop and my external drives . Don 't worry , I always have something to do . No free day for me ! On a side note , I purposely set up my " office " in my parents house , as opposed to my house , to get me out , dressed and moving . I want to make sure I never get lazy , especially with The Piper Corporation . So I force myself to travel to my work station . It 's perfect actually , I have a great view of my Uncle 's farm and a view of Saint Vincent College out looking through the picture window in the kitchen . The best office space ever ! Plus my office companions aren 't too bad either , Scooby , Seven and Storm . I recruited Kyle to assist me on Saturday at my house , since my parents were still without electricity . I took this as a sign from God , telling me to get in the yard and finish it up . After all I couldn 't work on the computer . Starting my day as soon as the sun rises , around 6 : 00 am , Kyle and I went to work . Yes it was not light duty chores . It was hauling mulch and river rock , pulling weeds and walking up and down my back steps around my landscaping . Truly hard work even for a professional landscaper . So how did Kyle fare ? Well , at first it was a big argument . He didn 't want to do the mulch and was seriously exaggerating his motions in such a way , I made him carry the river rocks while I took over the mulch job . I knew I could get it done faster , making better progress than Kyle . Then , I caught him trying to do the job half way , cutting corners that sort of thing . I was livid ! There are few things I really truly can 't stand and detest , beside smoking , and that 's laziness . I just can 't understand making that choice to wimp out , especially on something that is benefiting oneself such as my house . After about an hour of me loosing my patience , yelling and Kyle dropping his attitude and getting acclimated to the job of the day , he really began to work . And I mean he worked ! That kid was on fire ! Really after , we got moving and he started to get into a rhythm and saw progress , he was such a hard little worker . He was even proud of himself saying , " Wow Aunt Heather I think I 'm getting stronger with each rock ! Soon I 'll be even better in the weight room ! " What a cutie ! I had to concur with his reasoning , because he was right . The more work he did , the stronger he was getting . You see , for the next few weeks Kyle is in the weight room at school for gym class . They are teaching him how to lift and such . He seems to really like it . Kyle even asked me , " Hey Aunt Heather , how much can you do on the leg press ? " Truly not remembering I said , " Probably around 100 pounds or so . Why how much can you do ? " With a victorious and ornery grin , Kyle responded proudly with " I can leg press 240 pounds ! " Wow ! Holy smokes buddy ! That 's great ! I really was proud of him . He is a strong little compact bugger ! He said only one other kid did more than him and he did 260 pounds . Still all very impressive . With the weight room talk , it gave Kyle another incentive to keep on truck ' in . He was great ! All the way up until it started to rain on us . I was almost done with the mulch , when I turned around to see my little man with his hoodie up , soaking wet carrying buckets of river rock and looking defeated . We had to leave soon anyway . Kyle was serving mass at 6 : 00 pm that night . After seeing the look on his face , I said , " Go jump in the shower , we 're done for today . " Shear joy fell over him . Not to mention a sense of accomplishment . Kyle did remark , " Wow Aunt Heather it 's actually looking nice . We got a lot done ! " Yes we did buddy , especially with all his hard work . As it turns out Kyle wasn 't done working , not by a long shot . You see he had off of school on Monday for an in - service day . So I took advantage of that fact and asked him to assist me again to try and finish the work once and for all . Surprisingly , he was enthused to help me wrap up the yard . That morning , we first helped my dad by stacking some wood before making our way to my dreaded lawn . On another side note , sometime on Saturday I must have weeded out poison ivy and proceeded to scratch my face and my eye . Yes my eye ! By Sunday , my face was all swollen , itchy and my eye looked like a big marshmallow . Not believing in doing actual work on Sundays , I try to honor the Sabbath Day as much as possible , I took a few Benadryl pills and fell into a sleep coma . By Monday , my eye was even worse and we had to make a pit stop at Med Express to get me on steroids again . I really hate those things ! Yes , I worked like that with basically one eye since I could only see out of it with a sliver . I figured , I would rather get in contact with the poison ivy again , now that I was on medication , rather than later when I was healed and had to go through this again . Plus , I wanted to stay away from people with all my ugliness . I even avoided the gym in the mornings . But lucky for Kyle , I had no qualms about hanging around him . I would even tease my little man by leaning in with my bulging eye and saying , " Go ahead and touch it . Feel how squishy it is ! " He was grossed out and would squirm around me . Eventually , we made a joke out of it saying " Don 't make me give you the stink eye . " And then I would point my eye in his direction . That cracked us both up ! If you can 't laugh at yourself , then what 's the point in living . While we were talking and working Kyle mentioned again about getting an apartment and buying land to build his house and huge fish tank on . I said , " O buddy between me and your Aunt Nikki , we will probably have enough rental properties for you to live in so you don 't have to worry about it . " Kyle took that as a sign that he will take my house . It 's yours buddy , you earned it through sweat equity ! While wrapping up some of the work on Monday afternoon , Kyle started to comment about hard work and how hard our activity was . Then , he started to get a bit sarcastic and threw out the attitude again . He said , " This is suppose to be my day off from school and I 'm not suppose to be doing work . " Really ? Says who . I retorted with , " What do you think most people do Kyle ? They work all week and do yard work in the evenings and weekends . Welcome to reality . " He had nothing to say on that note . I get it , he was tired and not used to working that hard for that many days in a row . I completely understood . But I still won 't tolerate an attitude . After that came the fury of Aunt Heather . I asked Kyle to dump a couple of buckets of dirt up by my back fence in a mulch pile of leaves and branches . Not wanting to walk up the hill , we both kind of laughed at the thought of making another trip there . Finally , Kyle did what I asked and made the first trip , promising I 'll make the second . When I made my trip , to help him out and show he is not doing all the hard work , I noticed he dumped the dirt right in the yard , not even coming close to the pile ! Fiery anger shot out of me and resulted in a lecture on laziness . I wanted him to understand that he has to train himself now , NOT to be lazy and to NOT take shortcuts , for it will always bite him in the butt in the long run , especially in a professional environment . I went off explaining how I trusted him to do a job and I expected it to be done right and not to have to redo it . Then , I went into a tangent about how he doesn 't want the reputation of being a lazy kid . And so on and so forth . Okay , granted I was tired too and it was a long few days , plus with all the poison ivy irritating my skin , I 'm sure my nerves where just a little bit sensitive . He felt horrible and kicked it up a notch until he was out of steam . Seriously , I haven 't seen a kid his age work that hard in forever ! I was really proud of him , and maybe I was a little too hard on my man . But I wanted to make a point , that it 's not just about my yard . I am training his character , the man he will hopefully grow to be . The one I hope him to be , minus any laziness . And you know what ? I believe he will get there . It was only at that moment , he was being a kid and a tired human . This past weekend I took Kyle to see Thor 2 : The Dark World and I believe the second movie of his choice is The Hunger Games - Catching Fire . I even told him he earned popcorn , which he gave me a victorious smile . I love paying this kid in movies . It makes for a well deserved date night . I think careful cooking is love , don 't you ? The loveliest thing you can cook for someone who 's close to you is about as nice a valentine as you can give . ~ Julia Child My family is like many who enjoy cooking and cooking together . We really don 't eat out a lot , hence the congregation in the kitchen when hunger pains arrive . Seriously , we don 't even really eat fast food . In fact , the only fast food joints I support when I am in a pinch , or if the graving takes is Chick - fil - a , their service and friendly demeanor is always awesome and contagious , not to mention I love their chicken ; or SubWay , when I need serious food and I want to control what is put on my sandwich ; or Panera , when I 'm looking for better tasting quality food , quickly ; or Jioio 's when I want my thin , slightly sweet crust pizza ; or any other pizza joint for that matter . Every now - and - again I will make my appearance at a 5 Guys Burger & Fries or a Sonic or a Dairy Queen , but again that 's rare . Nope , eating out is a rarity not a daily choice . I was raised that way , and so I continue to keep the tradition . I 've said it before and the same still holds true , I enjoy cooking , especially with Kyle ! No matter if we are talking about breakfast , lunch , dinner or a simple snack , cooking together always makes it more fun ! Kyle really likes being in the kitchen , but he prefers to develop his food with the assistance of others . Not that I can blame him , cooking together is way more fun and sometimes exciting when we start experimenting with ingredients . In the past , cooking was a way for me to reinforce Kyle 's reading and his math by making him read the recipes to me and forcing him to figure out the measurements himself . ( Inner Conflict , Egg Sandwich Spectacular , Healthy Smoothie Sunday ) Not to mention it was a great way to introduce him to different dishes , expanding his pallet and to teach him about the health benefits of specific foods , or lack there of in some cases . Yes , I don 't always make the healthiest of dishes , but at least I am aware of what goes into the items I consume . Same goes for Kyle . I have always stressed the importance of eating healthy , however I have also demonstrated the moments of weakness and giving in to temptation . When I splurge and steer clear of nutritious foods and swap them with junk food , I am also aware of how much I consume and how often . Not to mention I have always lived by example to burn off the food through various exercise . I 'm not saying I am the poster child for physical fitness , but I do try and make a conscientious effort to demonstrate good healthy behaviors to Kyle . I 'm not saying he completely listens to me , but I know the information is being stored up in his cranium cavity … somewhere . It 's my job to guide him in the right direction , even if I 'm pushing him up a very steep hill . This week has been wonderful , spending every day with Kyle . For his birthday , I bought him two Bricks 4 Kidz Lego Camps at Saint Vincent College . He 's been going all week with a morning session and an afternoon session , allowing us to hang out together for lunch . All week we 've been doing breakfast , lunch and dinner together ! And you what ? He has been eating healthier . I 've seen his improvement over these few short days . When we cook together and eat together , Kyle is making better choices with his nutrition . Plus , having the right foods on hand is a big part of it . Everyday , he gets to help pick out what he wants for lunch and every day we make the meal together ! Like I said he loves being in the kitchen , helping to prepare the food , cut , stir and flip . When we 're done , he is truly proud of what he 's made and knows I approve of his eating choices . This situation just makes everyone happy ! Speaking of happy , Kyle has been seriously energetic and upbeat ! Keep in mind he 's been building Lego 's every morning and night , and this week , one of his rewards for his great report card came in the mail , in the form of another Lego . So those certainly can sway a child 's attitude , but it also has to do with what is digesting in his gut . When y0u eat right , you feel right ! Example , Kyle used to like vegetables when he was little . Then all of a sudden he refuses to eat them , even though I know he doesn 't hate certain veggies . One day this week , Kyle and I made a huge salad , per both of our suggestions . He helped me chop up the salad stuff including the carrots and mushrooms . More importantly , he was excited to make the salad large enough so his Gigi and pappy would have some for dinner . He not only ate one salad for lunch , but he ate two and then one for dinner ! Granted it was coated in French dressing ( low fat ) , but it wasn 't covered in cheese and no croutons made their appearance . Just good old fashioned vegetables . He LOVED the salad and was proud of what he made and his choice for consumption . Kyle is officially in the sixth grade ! Wow ! I know to expect these milestones , but every year I 'm taken off guard and it 's still a surprise . This past weekend I kept reminding Kyle about school on Monday and I kept teasing him of all the homework . He kept grunting and giving me the look of ' O No ! " . On Friday night we just hung out , kicking back , relaxing . Kyle went to the grocery store with me to pick up a few items for dinner . We finally agreed on steak , since we were having corn on the cob , cooked on the grill . While at the grocery store , we ran into my cousin Karen , coincidentally the one who gave us the corn from her garden . Yep , Friday set the stage for the rest of the weekend , the theme of laid back . Usually Friday 's are all rush , rush , rush till bedtime . Nice change of pace . Saturday morning we loaded up the truck with the pistol , Kyle 's . 22 rifle and a couple of dad 's rifles and headed out to the shooting range . Which reminds me , I need to get a new set of headphones like the ones dad and Kyle wear . I don 't like the foamy ones that are placed in the ear . I 'd rather have my ears engulfed in padded protection . Anyway Kyle mostly shot his . 22 rifle at a target about 50 feet away , while dad was shooting at 100 yards , testing out the different mixtures he loaded in the bullets and the accuracy of the rifles . My job , to keep an eye on Kyle . There was another group of guys there who were shooting clay pigeons . I had to make sure Kyle didn 't get in their way , stayed out of his pappy 's danger zone , and didn 't put anyone in danger through the reinforcement of proper rifle handling . Shooting is fun , but it 's certainly an activity of responsibility . I gave Kyle all the shooting time he wanted . Dad hooked us up with a full box of . 22 bullets . Every once in a while , I would sneak in a few shots . Kyle like to share his rifle and time behind the trigger . I think he enjoyed the togetherness of the activity , not to mention I think Kyle liked to see who was the better shot . Plus it gave him a break , he 's not really die hard with anything except his marathon of playing video games . He didn 't do too bad at all . He shot standing free hand and sitting , but his favorite was using the sticks and sitting on a bench . He hit some dead on ! Way to go buddy ! After a few hits to the target , I could tell Kyle was getting bored , so I got out the . 22 pistol . It 's a neat little pistol that I 've shot countless times , one that I 've always favored since I was little . As I loaded the clip I showed Kyle where the safety was , how to line up the sights and how to load the chamber . As I handed the pistol to Kyle , he almost leaned away from me , as if saying ' I don 't know ' . Picking up on his body language I said , " Did you want to shoot the pistol first ? " With the beginning of an inquisition , he said , " Does it have a kick ? " I simply stopped him from going down his list of questions and debunked his anxiety by saying , " How about I 'll shoot this clip first and then if you want to take a turn you can , but you don 't have to . " Happily he nodded his head and presumed his position behind me . How did I do ? Well not very good free hand . Actually , very disappointing . Shooting off of the sticks or a support I 'm alright , but shooting free hand was nothing to brag about . Kyle was the same . I guess we need serious practice . After I shot in a clip of about eight or nine rounds , I think Kyle felt a little more comfortable with this foreign firearm . You know I always forget , I 've grown up around guns so there was never a fear of them . In fact , I don 't remember the first time I shot . I was little , in fact , thinking about it , there was never a time where I didn 't know how to shoot a gun . As a family , we would go up on the ridge and target shoot pretty frequently with other family members and friends . During that time , I was able to see what each firearm sounded like and how it handled with the shooter . That 's knowledge that Kyle has not really been privy to , at least not consistently . I don 't think he has ever seen my dad clean the guns either . When we were little , I used to complain about the smell that accompanied that action . Now don 't get me wrong , being a part of the Piper household , by default Kyle has been exposed to firearms since we was born , the result of a hunting family . However , Kyle 's exposure was not in the same way that me , Ryan and Nicole were . Actually , I was always a decent shot . Even to this day , I still enjoy shooting . I wish I would have kept it up over the years , frequency means accuracy , but alas life gets in the way . From what dad has told me , mom used to be a dead on shot . She doesn 't really shoot anymore , but Nicole is getting back into it again . After a few hours at the shooting range we headed back to the house for lunch . It was a hot one on Saturday , so the desire to be outside was not there . Instead , we decided to plug in a couple of movies , Hunger Games and I Am Number Four . Mom and dad didn 't like Hunger Games . What ? How can that be ? Maybe they should have read the books first and then they would have understood the movies better . I took Kyle to see that movie in the theater when it first came out . Eventually he wants to read the books . Alas , now the day was escaping us and we waited till the evening to take the dogs for their weekly hike . The entire way , Kyle talked about the movie I Am Number Four . He wanted to see if there was a sequel . He said , " They have to have another movie , so they can finish the story . They have to find number five and seven , eight and nine . They just can 't end it , we have to know what happened . " I was cracking up . I told him , " I don 't know buddy , maybe they will . But if they didn 't make enough money on the first movie , then they probably won 't make a second . " A little concerned over that comment he said , " They have to finish the story ! Did they find number five ? " While I was laughing , I said , " Honey , I don 't know . I don 't even know how old the movie is . " Not accepting that answer he asked me how I know about up coming movies like Iron Man 3 and Avengers 2 ? " I know that because I read it online , different articles and news feeds . " He couldn 't stand it that he didn 't know anything about a part two of I Am Number Four . He even started to name the sequel , saying " I Am Number Four , two " Naturally I started laughing just as Kyle realized what he said . He then decided that since Aunt Nikki was the one who suggested the movie , she would have the skinny on the sequel . He said , " I 'm going to ask Aunt Nikki about it , I 'll have her look it up . She would know . " Kyle is too much , very persistent ! The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful . Church on Sunday morning and a lot of loafing around for the majority of the day . It was another hot one , so Kyle and played with Seven , Scooby and Storm inside . I was actually going to take him to the movies , but the idea didn 't hit me until it was too late . Sunday was a perfect " nothing " day before Kyle had to be back to the responsibility of school . Did I mention that Kyle was gathering loose change and counting it all weekend ? That kid , if he doesn 't become a banker then he might be missing his calling . He also talked nonstop about this Lego chess set he saw online . I think he thought since I have no issue with him playing chess , either online or the actual physical board game , which I actually encourage , he feels that it 's a shoe in for him getting the game for Christmas . Yep , Kyle is already prepping for Christmas ! He kept searching different sites for different Lego chess sets and different price points to give me options . Oh , it 's never a day with Kyle without at least the mention of Lego 's . Yesterday morning I saw Kyle off for his first day of school . I kept that tradition ever since he was in kindergarten and this year will conclude it . Watching him grow up has been fun and helpful to my own personal growth . He is going to like sixth grade , I just know it . I called him last night to see how his day went . He didn 't seem enthused , but I was probably interrupting cartoon watching , since I 'm sure he was going through withdrawal . Sixth grade , his last hooray before junior high … I have a feeling this year will fly by FAST ! Two Friday 's ago , I took Kyle to see Star Wars , The Phantom Menace in 3 - D playing in the theaters . It 's funny , as I sat there and looked around a very packed movie theater , I noticed Star Wars really does span generations . They even had a person dressed as Darth Vader behind the concession stand . The crazy thing is , Darth Vader isn 't even in the first Star Wars movie , yet all the kids lining up for popcorn knew who he was . Even , our 3 - D glasses were Star Wars branded ! It 's pretty cool to share a phenomena with Kyle , that I too shared as a child , a neat common ground and an overlapped interest . As I sat there waiting for the movie I reflected and realized that I have been a part of this craze , pretty much since its birth . I saw all the original Star Wars movies in the theaters , then I saw them all digitally remastered , then the first three movies , and now the first Star Wars in 3 - D . This franchise has really maintained its popularity and grew with each new generation . Kyle watches the cartoons , Star Wars the Clone Wars . When I was a kid we watched the Ewoks Cartoon . I will admit I started getting into reading the books which , recently I 've passed to Kyle . I 've talked about Going Retro With Star Wars before . But I must admit it is still amazing to see the Star Wars fan base and the age assortment of those fans . It makes me wonder what else has become a cult following like Star Wars that has lasted for generations ? I really don 't know of any . Possibly because the fan base grew old and the obsession wore off ? Or is it because my parents never really got into any past phenomenons before to pass down to my generation ? I guess that 's not entirely true if you count Grease . Everyone knows the songs and that musical has been classically redone over the years . So I guess if that is true , then I should include the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Priscilla Queen of the Desert . Each having their own followers that dress up when the local theater plays the musicals from time to time . Already knowing that the Twilight series will continue to remain a favorite for generations to come , at least among women , is no secret . The franchise not only has done will financially , but it has a following that consists of those having a true interest and are driven by passion behind the story . Admittedly , I am on of those millions that share in the attraction . Another series that might maintain their die hard fans would be Harry Potter . By default they have already span the generation gap and painted a magical world for their followers to come to request . Recently , if I had to forecast , this same enthusiasm is going to stay strong among the fans of The Hunger Games . Even before the first movie hits the big screen , I am saying that with complete confidence . So , is it just in recent times that we have been brought into the presence of great writing or fascinating stories ? No , I know that 's really not true . There have been some very powerful classic books written , with great character development and storylines . But maybe it 's the times of pop culture , the big screen entertainment and heart throbbing actors who have captured our attention in addition to the storyline ? Or is it our culture now - days to want to reach for something , to be apart of something so popular ? Maybe it 's the excitement of these releases that gets us all caught up in the story ? It 's also no secret that the amount of information that is disseminated exponentially is over - whelming . It can be retrieved with a few clicks of the mouse and voila , stories on actors , directors , authors , other fans , events , trends , you name it . I can see where it 's easy to get wrapped up in all the hype . Perhaps if William Shakespeare lived in another time , he may have been a mega star during his living years . I know he was popular during his time period , but I guess if he lived in present days , his name would expand to all ends of the earth . Although , I am not forgetting that his works have traveled through time and he is a household name . Sometimes I wonder how Romeo and Juliette would have been handled ? Of course that movie did hit the big screen a few years ago staring Leonardo DiCaprio ( I liked it ! ) The same goes for my favorite Midsummer Night 's Dream . But what about MacBeth , Hamlet , Taming of the Shrew , and Julius Caesar . Maybe Shakespeare would have been a red carpet celebrity with his plays and he would have made big names of his actors if he sprang up in Hollywood . But would he have started a popular craze ? I truly believe that a lot of pop culture trends revolve around hype , but I also believe that there is something real there , something to get the ball the rolling . We Are All Children At Heart , I truly undoubtedly believe that . Maybe it 's because this new generation is staying younger longer , even though they are maturing younger . Is that possible ? At any rate what are your thoughts on pop culture and the newest trends ? Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this :
|
Category Archives : Second Date Wanted # 23 : Where are you taking me ? ? As you know , I 'm back on OKC . Yes there are many more 90 + % matches than before , but as always I wonder about the logic of their match calculations and really miss the friendship % number . However , I do tend to go look at those high match profiles and just once in a while , ever so rarely , one of them makes my eyes go round and my jaw drop and okay maybe my tongue hang out a little bit . I write to them , but of course these paragons never write back . So imagine my surprise when my ' Hello , care to chat ? ' received an enthusiastic ' Absolutely ' in response , followed by an actual joke : ' Your real name isn 't < OKC ID > is it ? ' . And we launched into gentle banter , which , while less immediately exciting than intense banter , is really the best kind of banter , like caipirinhas on a summer afternoon , as opposed to tequila shots on a Saturday night . Several OKC messages later we switched to gmail chat , and we always ended up talking ridiculously early in the morning , because he works nights and I 'm up at 6 . I sent him to the blog and he was most enthused , saying he wanted to be # 25 . Alas fate conspired otherwise heh . The only time that works is the weekend and the first weekend I have time is this one , so we settled on Sunday night , with a strict injunction to get me home by ten because it 's past my bedtime . Only it turns out he has to work this weekend , so we ended up going out on Thursday . Right from the start I feel this date is going to be different , but I caution myself to not believe it - burned many times . The thing is though , he 's made a plan . An actual good plan . We 're going to a standup , which will end at ten so we will skate in only a little past curfew . He wants to talk too though , so we decide to meet at Cyber Hub at 5 , and since I 'm the expert I pick the place . Thursday rolls around and he 's late , moving it to 530 at 450 . I haven 't left the office though so I simply settle back to read more . Then I head downstairs and he 's still late , showing up at 545 . But he does show up , and he 's tall and wearing a collar and could pass for Tamil , so obviously I 'm happy . He 's also pretty hot . And he apologises profusely for being late , telling me he 's really gotten off to a good start hasn 't he , making me wait , with a wry smile . Oh sarcasm ! We end up at Imperfecto , tucked into a corner and he orders some food , which I pass on because I had a late lunch , and we just start talking . I ask him a ton of questions and he answers without protest or complain . I hear about the long relationship , the crazy not - relationship , several travel adventures , school and college and family . He asks about my job , what it entails , why I like it . I tell him stories about my travels and my family - or not . I don 't really remember the details of that happy rambly conversation , mainly that it was happy , and rambly , and snarky , and we laughed a lot . At one point he 's telling me a story about a bar / restaurant in Goa where he and his friends are and says Cyrus ( I don 't remember his surname ) owns it , the not Cyrus Broacha guy . And sometimes he 's there , hanging out in his restaurant with his hot girlfriend , it 's disgusting . So I ask him why it 's disgusting , and he has to stop for a minute and think about it . ' You know , ' he tells me , ' I have never thought about that before . I guess I was jealous ? ' So I tell him about how much I love doing this to people , just asking them why they feel the things they feel . Soon enough it 's time to go to Manhattan , which is where the show is . I 'm quite excited because back in my early lonely days in Delhi I used to be a regular at the Cheese Monkey Mafia open mic nights at the International Diner , and both Mandava and Abhijit Ganguly were on so I was looking forward to hearing them again . As we 're riding down the escalator I say something about being tall and he snorts , looks down at me from 6 feet and 1 inch and says , ' That 's cute ' , which , I 've come to realise , is his snarkiest dismissal possible . I protest and cite statistics of the heights of Indian women and he nods while I talk , but returns to ' That 's cute ' at the end . We 're busy rambling and snarking and laughing in the car so we end up on a circuitous route there , but we do get there and as soon as we come to the door Mandava jumps on me to say hi , which is nice . We go in , weigh the risk of being picked on against the possibility that we won 't see much and decide that the back is the better place for us , and settle at a table . I 'm glad that the very loud music and the slightly awkward seating ( at right angles , not across the table from each other ) give me enough opportunities to lean in and pat him arm and other such things , but he also doesn 't really react . ( Which is making me a little nervous as I write this ; never has the inequality of this whole deal come home to me as strongly as it does right now . ) He teases me about how much I 'm yawning , and I swear it 's not him , it 's me . Then he teases me about using cliches . The show starts and it is funny , and then funnier , and then by the end , when Jeeveshu Ahluwalia is on , we 're both in pain from laughing . This despite my missing half the jokes since they 're in such rapid fire Hindi I can 't catch them and then , when I do , I don 't always understand them . Finally the show 's over and we head out , at ten thirty , eek , and he says he needs to stop off at his place to grab some stuff before he heads out to Delhi , dropping me on the way . We end up taking weird badly paved back roads that don 't have streetlights , and I say to him in mock alarm ' Kahan le ja rahe ho mujhe ! ' , which makes him laugh . Only , later , when we 're on a road I expect to recognize and don 't , he grins evilly and says , ' Maybe I am planning to murder you . ' ' Just murder na ? Then it 's fine , ' I toss back . ' Well I guess it depends on my mood , ' he shoots back and squeal and smack his thigh . It 's drizzling and the night is gorgeous as we zip away back towards Delhi . The windows are open a crack and cool air comes pouring in , reeking of petrichor , and the street lights flash by . We talk quietly as he drives . He asks if I like drives , and I tell him I do , especially in this weather . ' I love taking road trips , but I rarely have anyone to share the driving . ' ' That 's so sad ! ' he exclaims and I agree . I tell him how it feels weird to be going down MG Road in the dark , since I 'm usually on it in this direction at 430pm . We continue to chat ; I continue to yawn , and eventually we get to my house . ' Would you like to come up for a bit ? ' I ask him . ' I wouldn 't want to keep you up ; it 's past your bedtime . ' ' Don 't worry ; I 'll evict you when I want to sleep , ' I reassure him . He thinks for a bit , but finally declines . ' I 'll go , ' he tells me , unsnapping his seatbelt for a goodbye hug . ' Okay , ' I tell him , ' we should do this again . I had a lovely time , ' and then I kiss his cheek and hop out . ' Yes we should , ' he says . I head towards my house , pausing to return his wave as he drives by . I skip up the stairs and really really hope he meant it . # 22 : Holy cow ! Do you write that blog ? Yes ! I finally went on a date ! It all happened very suddenly . I was sick , my weekend trip was cancelled , so I decided to spend the day in the hammock and finish a book off my reading challenge . And for some reason , I decided to peek into OKC just once . Only my 50dates profile has been banned or whatever they call it , because it never lets me log in , telling me that there 's a technical error , which is apparently how OKC , in the fine tradition of cowardly people in dating situations , avoids actually telling you you 've been kicked off . But I digress . I logged in with my old ID and idly looked through the matches to see if anyone new or interesting had signed up . There were quite a few over 90 % matches , which is new , so I was reading through them when one jumped out . You know me and my gut . So I wrote to him , and he replied and suddenly I was lounging in the hammock , book cast aside , talking to this guy . I tossed him my standard ' What brings you to OKC ? ' question and he replied before tossing it back at me . Then I had to think because that profile does not have the experiment laid out . ' I 'm running an experiment , ' I replied , ' and also you know I 've met some fun people here . ' ' Have you read that fifty first dates blog ? ' he asked me . I started to laugh . ' Hahahaha . Yes I have read the blog . Would you like to be # 23 ? ' We soon switch to Whatsapp and he says let 's get coffee sometime , because I don 't drink . Since Saturday is his only day off , we 'd have to wait till Saturday , but then I don 't have a Saturday free for three weeks , so we quickly decide to try and meet right then . It is about 1045 by this point , and he says he has to be in Munirka at 1230 , so we could meet around then . I have a friend coming over at noon , but she will understand , and so I tell him okay . ' Let 's go to Sanjay Van and wander around . I 'll see you at JNU gate at 1230 . ' Only , he 's running late and it becomes 1 and I fret because my friend will be here by 230 and then his phone runs out of battery and when we finally do meet at Sanjay Van , it 's 120 . I see the bright yellow Nano he told me to expect and he 's standing next it . He waves at me and I quickly park in front of him and hop out . We say hi and I turn to walk in but he 's checking the doors of the car repeatedly . ' Wow , ' I say , ' you have a system eh ? ' ' No , it 's something I need to do . ' ' Yeah , I get it . Everyone has their quirks . ' I 'm trying not to use the word OCD because I hate how we throw around mental illnesses like they 're regular adjectives . ' I have OCD , ' he says . ' Okay , I get it , you like things a certain way , ' I respond . ' No , I mean I 'm on medication . I 've been diagnosed . ' And just like that , the gloves are off . Later on I realise that moment defines the date . No shame , no embarrassment , no judgement , no thoughtless words . Everything we talk about is brutally honest and completely safe . It 's intoxicating , more than anything I could ever imbibe . There are very few guys ( okay , people ) I know who can talk like this , and I love it . We walk a short way in , discussing mental illness , medication , and our own experiences it it . ' That 's why you don 't drink , ' I tell him . ' Yeah , it 's not worth it . ' I fully agree , and tell him about a person I used to be friends with who was taking Lithium , among other things , and then would drink and spiral into bas downs because the medicines didn 't work . I have never understood that mentality . He agrees . He asks me what I was taking for my depression and I tell him that no I have never been that ill thank GOD but the therapy really helped . ' It isn 't much help for me , ' he says , and I agree , because well , I don 't think talk therapy would help with things other than anxiety and depression . We 've come across some benches , and he suggests we sit down . He lights up a cigarette and I refrain from telling my camel joke * . And then he starts to ask me questions . He 's read the blog , clearly , and is very curious about a lot of things . ' What happens after ? ' he asks , like many others . ( He 's actually already asked me on whatsapp but we continue to discuss it . ) He wants to know if I see them again . I tell him that of course I see the ones I like again , but barring # 2 , I don 't write about them . I also tell him that very few have reached mutual interest enough to still be around - only three in fact . But then how do you juggle so many relationships ? is the inevitable follow up question , and I launch into my theory of dating . The thing with real life is that it 's messy ; it isn 't neatly divided into relationship , not relationship , and so on . Every guy who dates me knows about the blog , he knows there are other people I 'm seeing . I ask them if they want to know more , or not . I respect what they tell me . I make a conscious effort to communicate . I try and express in clear unambivalent terms what I 'm thinking and feeling , what I want , that I want them to do the same . There is no judgement . I try to create a safe space to express unhappiness , anger , jealousy - whatever feelings the other person might have . And I hope the other person understands this and tries too . That 's about all anyone can do in any relationship yeah ? Anyway it 's not like anyone has asked me to or inspired in me the desire to not see other people ! And it 's not like there are many other people to date . All the while he listens , engages and asks intelligent questions . Our conversation is the kind I love ; it goes tripping and tumbling and soaring off in a hundred directions and we rarely do finish the subject we 've begun . This is the first time a date has ever got more about me than I have got about them . At one point I say something about how I 'm older and see things differently , and it 's the first time in my life a younger person has just casually nodded and said yeah , you 're 32 , I should hope you 'd have a different perspective . I 'm gasping in shock . He asks why I wrote to him , and I tell him honestly that I have no idea . I pull up his profile and decide that my gut responded to his photo because it was sort of being conscious of its self consciousness . And of course we launch into a discussion being self conscious about dating online and how people react and present themselves , and how everything online is a construct and I like it when people are aware of this , and that 's what his photo said to me . He tells me about a woman who 's asked him is he was going to marry her after their fourth date - I am in shock . I tell him about my troll and the sheer amount of crap I run into on OKC . We get up and walk a bit now , and end up discussing STDs and how people in India are so head in the sand about them . He tells me this is the first time he 's had a conversation about STDs with a woman who is actually open and informed about them . I laugh and tell him I 'm special . He makes a mean crack about my age and shortly after I make one about his . It 's now 215 , though it feels like it 's been three hours , and I regretfully tell him I better go . We talk out to the cars ; he says we should do this again soon ; we hug . * Two women are standing in a bus stop . They pull out cigarettes and light up , but it starts to rain . One mutters and throws hers away . The other opens her bag , pulls out a condom with the tip cut off , pulls it over the cigarette and continues . Lady # 1 is wide - eyed . ' What 's that and where can I get one ? ' she asks . Lady # 2 says , ' Oh it 's a condom . You 'll get it at a drugstore . ' Later that day Lady # 1 walks into a drusgtore . ' I 'd like some condoms please , ' she says . ' Sure , what size ? ' asks the salesperson . ' Big enough to fit a camel , ' she replies . # 20 : Don 't drop the soap When I got back from the US I was , strangely , very jetlagged . I 'm usually good with jetlag , but maybe winter and illness and whatnot . Funnily this didn 't mean I was sleepy in the middle of the day , just that I was waking up at 1 am unfailingly . So I took to entertaining myself with Tinder . Swipe swipe swipe . Kept me going till I was sleepy again . Of course I rarely wrote to the matches and when I did they rarely wrote back . One night ( I say this as if there were several heh ) I got a message from one of them . His profile was brief but interesting , it cited finance , travel and my Mecca , New York . So I replied and asked him what was going on . We then proceeded to discuss the monkey butlers and the emancipation of the monkey race into slavery for the next fifteen minutes . It was great . Lots of fizz . And so it went fizzing along most of the day , until I got sick of Tinder 's shite messaging and we switched to whatsapp , and by the next morning , to the phone . We talked for nearly and hour and a half while I did my chores , in one of those conversations where no story is every finished because it triggers another , and another and another . He 's visiting family from Canada , where he lives and will be here for a couple weeks more , so I tell him we can go out when I 'm back from Bombay . I send him a link to the blog and tell him to decide if he 's up for it ! He says he is and remains on the other end of the phone my whole trip . We talk every day , with as much fizz as the first time , and lots of laughing . There are many whatsapp messages and by the time I 'm back we 've fallen into the this - is - what - I 'm - doing - right - now mode of messaging . On my return we try and figure when it will work and it looks like we 're going to have to wait till Saturday . Which is a pity , and I tell him so . This inspires him to agree to Wednesday lunch near my office , so we decide on that plan . I 'm teased at work all day because I have made an effort and am not in winter uniform of yoga pants and shapeless sweater . When I say I have a date I 'm bombarded with questions and I have to tell people to wait for the post ! Heh . We 're meeting at Delhi Heights ( my first Gurgaon date ! Now I can truly call myself 50datesinNCR ) , and I 'm wondering what to eat because I have just begun diet ( don 't ask ) . I get there and I can 't spot him . I try to call but there 's no signal inside , something I 'd forgotten . Eventually I ask the ' maitre d ' hotel ' if a guy had come in solo and asked for a table for two . He 's seated in a corner tucked behind the bar which id why I didn 't see him . He stands up and we side - hug , a titch awkwardly . Sadly , for the promises of bringing his A - game , he 's wearing baggy jeans and a giant sweatshirt . Boo . Phoren - living finance - working exactly - the - right - amount - obnoxious boy and he doesn 't wear a shirt . And me with lipstick and everything ! We sit down and start talking again . I am merciless with him , and take his trip at every thing he says . In my defence , he just makes it SO easy . He 's always dropping the soap in the prison shower ; it 's impossible to resist ! He 's laughing along with me , but I wonder a little bit if I 'm being too harsh - they could be ' I can 't believe she said that the bitch ' laughs from sheer shock . We finally get around to ordering , and I tease him for drinking bottled water . These poor NRI types . He wants a burger but can 't eat red meat , so I tease him for being a fake Punjabi . He makes several deliberately obnoxious statements about the place of women in this world , so I hit right back at him and tease him about his clothes . ' You could at least have worn a shirt , ' I say , shaking my head sadly . ' Whaaat ? I love this sweatshirt . It 's my favourite sweatshirt ! ' ' Look at me ; I made an effort ! ' ' This ? ' he says , raking me down , ' this isn 't an effort ! ' No wonder I 'm teasing him so much . I don 't think I 've ever been this mean to anyone on a date . I just can 't resist the urge to smack him down . But it 's okay because he is not scared of my intelligence or my confidence and it is an overwhelming relief to be me unadulterated , unfiltered , unaffected . He shows me pictures of his dogs and his nephew ; I reciprocate with ones of my cat and nieces . He tells me how he 's got all these crazy meetings with local businessmen , and one of them earnestly pats his hand and tells him he doesn 't drink , he doesn 't beat women , he lives in Canada with a steady job - he 'll get 2 . 5 crore dowry if he wants . I dare him to take it and live with the woman he has to marry . He apologises for being unable to focus on what I 'm saying - apparently I have ' an amazing rack ' which is distracting him . The food comes ; mine is superb , his a little strange - it 's an inside out chicken burger . He mocks me for eating potato wedges while on a diet , especially when I chop my burger in half and so I only eat half . I mock him for bring a Punjabi in Knedda . I ask him why he was on Tinder anyway , and he tells me it was random experiment . He asks me about my work and I explain it to him , with attendant whining about how it 's been too stressful of late . In short , our conversation continues to spark and explode , though we do manage to finish half our stories this time . Lunch over , we wander out to find some coffee . He wants to go to Krispy Kreme and I glare at him sullenly for the suggestion . He suggests Starbucks and I tell him I 'm judging him . We go inside , with me bitchslapping him verbally every other minute and him helplessly laughing and calling me mean . The coffee , when it comes , is execrable . I make endless jokes about dropping the soap in the shower , and he makes fun of me for insisting on sitting outside and then wearing gloves . I keep rubbing his back in apology for the horrible things I 'm saying and he asks me what is up with that . When I explain he says he 's not a very physical person , and I warn him that I am : I always express emotions physically . Eventually it is really as long a lunch hour as I can take , so I reluctantly get up to leave . We hug goodbye and I thank him snarkily for making an exception to the physical contact rule . Special Edition Oakland : Ghetto birds When I came to the Bay Area on this trip I was torn . Should I take a break from all that effort of trying to date , or should I use this opportunity to date a different kind of guy , one I couldn 't date in Delhi ? I kept floating around OKC and Tinder just to see what happened , and the results were dismal . Despite having more than twenty over - 95 % matches on OKC , no one wrote to me or replied . Plus the Bay Area seems to be full of white hipster boys in poly relationships , drinking craft beer and keeping their bushy beards out of it . Not exactly my type ahem . And I assume I 'm not their type , especially with my short stay . But then there was this one guy on Tinder - he had no picture - but he had a clearly Spanish name , and that famous gut of mine was like READ MORE . His description was charmingly straightforward , so I wrote to him , and he responded with interest and engagement and we decided we 'd go out . After much haggling about dates , we decided on a Tuesday night movie at the New Parkway Theater - a theatre with couches and wine ! The day comes around and I 'm supposed to meet him at Paramount Theater in Oakland , since the bus from where I am goes there . But in a case of brilliant Google fuckup , I end up expecting the trip to take twice as long as it does and then of course overshoot and miss the spot . I ask the lady behind me when the stop is coming up and she says oh you missed it ! I 'm not too far though so she tells me to hop out at the next stop and get a bus back . I 'm totally lost and I think I could probably walk back to it but I don 't know how . I hate not having data . I text him to tell him about the fuckup and he very sweetly asks where I am so he can come and pick me up . Five minutes later there he is in a car across the street . I hop in ; we hug hello and set off of the theatre . Once there we discover we 're going to be watching a documentary called 20 , 000 Days on Earth , which neither of us knows anything about , but hey , wine and couches . The movie turns out to be a very er masturbatory exercise by Nick Cave , and sadly seems to be one of those movies that 's only fun if you 're a fan instead of one that pulls you into being a fan . But we don 't mind , since then we can whisper to each other and not care about missing bits of the movie . Some time into the movie he puts his arm around me and I snuggle up on his shoulder , and we hold hands . It 's all very cute . And cosy . And comfy . When the movie is done we shuffle out and decide to grab a drink . He wants to go to Plank in Jack London Square , and as we 're driving there we see helicopters circling and pass four police cars sirens blaring . ' They 're headed to the protest in Berkeley I guess , ' he says . I 'm very thrilled though because hello it 's like in the movies ! The chopper has it 's searchlight on and is circling a particular spot . ' You know , in Oakland they called helicopters ghetto birds , ' he tells me , which makes me chortle in glee . I love that term . We get to Jack London Square and park and walk over to the bar . This takes us past a gorgeous Christmas tree , and I also realise we 're on the waterfront ! So exciting . Yes I know , very lame desi girl in phoren happening , but hey I am desi girl in phoren . We get our stamps and go on into the bar , with me gloating about them accepting my driver 's license as ID , which I 'd been warned they wouldn 't . It 's a crazy , loud gaming bar . There are videogames , a bowling alley , giant screens showing all sorts of sports channels , other throwing games outside ( that I neither recognize nor remember ) , and an outside bar . I request sitting outside because there 's no way we 'll hear each other inside . We hop onto bar stool and get a drink and launch into chat . He asks about my family and tells me about his . We discuss how my sister worries about me when I meet internet people , and she 's only three years older . He tells me he stopped hovering over his sister - seven years younger - a long time ago . I ask him about work and tell him about mine . I ask him if he 's seen the blog . ' What blog ? ' ' Wait , I didn 't tell you about the project ? ! ' And then I do . He is very amused and then of course asks about my being single at my age in India . ' Don 't your parents stress ? ' ' Well they do because I 'm unhappy I don 't have something I want , but otherwise no . They just want they kiddies to have what they want and be happy . I have very unusual parents ! ' He is very entertained when I explain the numbers logic I have and points out that I 'm an analytical person . He asks why I have the no sex on first date rule and I explain how many guys online in India just want to get laid , and while that 's fine by me , it doesn 't work for me until I connect with a person . And that connecting , while boosted nicely by having a common background , doesn 't need one . ' Look at us . We grew up very differently , but we 're still able to talk and understand the other person 's differing opinion or perspective ! That 's what I call having brain and knowing how to use it . ' He laughs . ' But sometimes you 're just hooking up with someone and having fun and it becomes something bigger , ' he says . ' Aren 't you cutting yourself off from that ? ' I clarify that I 'm not closed to that happening , but in all the time I 've been dating it has never happened to me , and the one time it came close I was really messed up and I 'd like to avoid that if possible ! We 've finished our drinks and he says come on let 's go for a walk . We wander out to the waterfront which is full of lights and boats and reflections . He tells me that the AT - AT Walkers in Star Wars are inspired by those very cranes we can see , and I tell him how I thought Star Wars was OK . He refrains from hissing in horror though and we go and stand by the rail so I can take pictures . We stand there talking , holding hands and being very cute . I notice the ghetto birds are out again , circling one particular spot . It 's now time to leave so we go back to the car and head out . And then I get my movie moment . Not only are there several helicopters overhead , we constantly pass Highway Patrol and police cars , and at one point have to take a quick right turn away from an actual protest march . When we get to the freeway we 're stopped by about twenty cops in riot gear ( ! ! ! ! ) * . One of them starts screaming NO ! NO ! NO ! NO ! and I panic a little bit , but then I realise it 's for a guy who 's trying to drive around the police cars - that had their lights flashing - and get on the freeway anyway . ( Desi ? Hee . ) It then takes us a really long time to actually find a way onto the freeway and then soon enough I 'm home . I give him a quick goodbye hug and run into the house . I really hope I 'll see him again . # 19 : Breaking some rules There I was , mere days from departure , losing my mind because my house was chaos after the flatmate moved out , my first half catsitters backed out , I didn 't have room to pack or even find all the stuff I was taking to the US for my nieces , and of course six things went wrong at work . In the middle of all this I got an email from one of the most Bengali names ever . Really , that was my very first thought . Wow , that 's a Bengali name . So racist no ? Heh . So this guy introduced himself and told me he 'd ended up on Delhiwalla 's site and found me and dived in . His email made me smile . I wrote back and asked me many questions , to which he replied with great frankness and questions of his own ( yay ! ) and we proceeded to email vigorously for a while . I told him he 'd have to wait till January when I was back if we were going to go on a date , and I hoped it wouldn 't fizzle out by then . ( Or , as seems to be the case with me , he wouldn 't go and meet some hummaze girl and want to date her . Not that I don 't wish that for people ; it 's just happening with annoying regularity . ) Our emails became shorter and shorter and he asked to switch to gtalk - this was actually the day I was leaving . We chatted through my crazy last day at work that I had originally planned to take off entirely , and when I left , 3 hours behind schedule , I gave him my number so we could whatsapp through my cab ride home . Traffic turned out to be horrendous ( some satsang . Gah . ) , so we were chatting away . At some point he asked me what time my flight was , and I told him . ' Why 'd you ask ? ' ' No reason , ' he said . ' Oh I thought you 'd be all let me drive you to the airport , ' I tossed at him cheekily . ( This seems to have become what I say to everyone these days : ' Please drive me to / pick me up from the airport . ' Clearly I 'm tired of being strong independent woman . ) My chin was on the floor of my taxi at this point , because I was just being sassy and never expected to be taken seriously . I told him it was sweet but too much , and he then said no , I 'm a nice person , and you 're a lady going to the airport at 2am , I cannot let you take a taxi . I will come . But I don 't drive , so it 'll be errr a taxi . I was very touched , and so I told him to come have dinner with me at home with my cousin and friend who were there to see me off and take over house and JP . This was a most unusual date anyway after all - I could break some rules . I got home and finished packing and whatnot , and my friend turned up , only to threaten to leave because I had date coming over . So I texted the date and asked him what he thought . I expect him to turn up at ten ( airport departure is at 1230 ) , but he tells me he is leaving at about 730 , and there he is at my door , bottle of whiskey in hand , at 830 . He 's most youthful looking , has a bit of a tummy ( signs he enjoys the good life ) and is very nicely dressed . Shirt and loafers and all . Okay maybe they 're not loafers , but I mean not - floaters - or - sneakers . After introductions are over we pull out glasses and set to . He 's expansive and interesting - and interested , but it 's a threeway conversation , and he makes sure to engage with my friend too . We talk about his friend 's dog that he loves and I call utterly spoilt , while JP refuses to even sniff his shoes ( which is unusual , since there are few things JP loves more than leather shoes ) . It turns out he has also worked on the project my friend is working on , so they talk shop . We swap stories of people and places ; I ask about dinner and he says he ate lunch very late so he 's ok . He 's been watching a friend in hospital for a couple of days , so I ask after the friend , who is better and bouncing about , much to the horror of his caregivers . My cousin shows up , with another friend , who joins us while the cousin goes off to prepare for class the next day . We sit around ; they are drinking the whiskey rapidly and I 'm being good and taking it ridiculously slow because hello plane . Time saunters past us in a haze of chill , smoke and laughter . It 's my cousin 's birthday , so at midnight we pounce on her and there is some tuneless singing and standing around sheepishly . And then it is time to go . I change and gather my stuff ; they say their gooodbyes ; my friend helps us schlepp my suitcases downstairs and he calls his driver . And there we are , at the alone part of this most unusual date . I am literally falling asleep because it is three hours past my bedtime , and I 've been up since 530am . So I put my head on his shoulder , he puts his arm around me and holds my hand , and we talk nonsense for the forty minutes it takes to get there . ( Yes forty , because Mahipalpur has a jam . Of course it does . Eyeroll . But this tim I 'm glad . ) I tell him how sweet he is to do this and he brushes me off with an ' I 'm a good person ; I keep telling you ! ' And then we 're there , and I 'm running off to get a trolley and he 's unloading the suitcases and piling them up for me , and I hug him goodbye and kiss his cheek and tell him I 'll see him again when I 'm back . ' Of course you will , ' he says . ' Text me when you 're through security . '
|
" I wanted to say how excited I was to show off my dress on my wedding day in September ! It was perfect for me . I went to 4 stores prior to coming to Marilee 's and the experience I had at the other stores was not good . My maid of honor and one of my bridesmaids recommended you to me . The day I came to Marilee 's I was not aware that I needed to book an appointment , but Nancy was nice enough to work with me and let me know that you always are happy to assist brides if you have someone available . She took the time to listen to what I was looking for , although I was not 100 % myself . She also was able to stay within my specifications and well within my price range . Needless to say I found my " perfect " dress that very day ! I wanted a very simple dress with no train , nothing over the top and Marilee 's staff managed to find it . Your staff went above and beyond to help me make my day special . I am so very pleased with your store . " I wanted to send you a few photos of my wedding gown which I purchased at Marilee 's . And to say a big thank you ! The staff at Marilee 's were very helpful - particularly Debbee - and it was great to be able to purchase my dress from a local business here in Niagara . The lace , along with the long train , completed the romantic , timeless look I had wanted for my wedding day . The dress was perfect for our garden wedding in Beamsville on July 14 , 2012 - a day that was so full of joy , love and laughter . In addition to purchasing my dress from Marilee 's , I also purchased a crystal choker necklace which I turned into my headpiece ( as seen in the photo ) , along with a pair of crystal earrings to match . Thank you so much . I will be recommending Marilee 's to all of my friends & family who are searching for their wedding / special occasion dresses . Elissa & Jason Fesyk " Our wedding took place in the middle of a tropical storm in Kauai Hawaii ! A record was set for the highest amount of rainfall in 1 - hour , landslides closed the bridge to the north shore where the ceremony was taking place . Our hair and make - up person , photographer , caterer , limo , sound and lighting person , florist etc . were stuck on the other side of the bridge . The wedding planner encouraged us to move the date of the wedding but we were determined to get married on the date engraved on our wedding bands . And at 3 : 45 , the sky cleared and the rain stopped . Our 4pm wedding started on time . Not a drop fell during the ceremony or during pictures . The rain started again at 5pm and didn 't stop for 3 more days . And the dress held up wonderfully ! Though it was a little muddy , I got so many compliments on the design and style of my Robin Jillian . It worked perfectly with the embellishments from the bridesmaids dresses . My husband and I ended up with a perfect wedding day in the most beautiful place in the world ! " I just wanted to tell you how beautiful Andria looked in her wedding gown . Just absolutely amazing ! ! I also got many compliments on my dress . We had the photographer take a picture of Andria , myself and the grooms mother in our dresses especially for you and will forward it when we get it . I remembered you said you never get to see how your brides look so I thought you might enjoy this little video as Andria bought her dress , shoes , veil , head piece and bracelet from you , which all came together so nicely that day . Thank you to you and Debbee for all of your help ! Thank you again to you and your staff for making my wedding dress hunt easy and memorable . You were all so accommodating and helpful and personable . You treated everyone in a special way and not just another peron buying a dress . To the lovely staff at Marilee 's , aka the best bridal store ever ! Thank you all so much for helping me to find the perfect dress . It suited me and my vision perfectly . I received so many compliments on how beautiful it was ; pure simple elegance . Dustin loved it just as much as I did . The service and experience you provided me was truly amazing . I especially want to thank Ashley . Because of you Ashley , my wedding day vision became a realilty . Photography by Virginia Anne Photography . As you may remember , my husband Pete is an OPP officer who suffered a tragic motorcycle accident while on duty back in June of 2014 . Unfortunately he lost his leg at the scene of the accident and his other leg was badly damaged . He remained in an induced coma for thirteen days following the accident , and underwent numerous surgeries during that time . For weeks , we were not sure if he would be returning home to us . Pete remained in hospital for four months . With four children at home missing him , this time seemed to pass very slowly . . . but he is a fighter . We had a family trip to Mexico planned for Christmas and New Years , and he was determined that we would not cancel it - despite the doctor 's predictions ! We decided that not only would we go , but we would renew our vows while there . What better way to celebrate that we still had him in our lives . This was another chance to express our love for one another . We fell in love as high school sweethearts , have been married for almost 18 years and have been together for 25 years . Family and friends decided they didn 't want to miss the celebration and decided to join us on our trip . My daughters and I chose dresses from Marilee 's Bridal , and they were absolutely perfect ! We renewed our vows on the beach and then had dinner and dancing under the moonlight . We could not have asked for a better day . Thank you and your staff again for all of your help . We truly appreciate all the care and consideration that you demonstrated to us . We will undoubtedly recommend your store to others for years to come . From the first point of contact , through the initial consultation , fitting , picking accessories and even a delightful post - purchase breakfast , you and your team were amazing and surpassed any expectation I had . Your team made the experience enjoyable and fun ! So , thank you for helping me find my perfect wedding day ensemble , as the ( beautiful ) cherry on my wedding day cake which will be remembered forever . I do not hesitate to recommend you . " There are no words to describe how much I appricate everything you did . I have had nothing but compliments on how fantastic the dress was . So much better then the crappy dress I had bought online . I learned you certainly get what you pay for ! Your staff was amazing and so helpful . Thank you again for making my wedding dress dream come true . " Melissa Adam ( Bride ) " I got married July 27 , 2013 and purchased my gown and veil from your shop . I got so many compliments on the dress , and absolutely loved the way the dress made me feel . Just wanted to send my sincerest thanks for all your help , and for helping make the day such an absolutely perfect one . Once again , thank you . " Jessica Davies ( Bride ) " Thank you so much for all your help finding me the wedding gown of my dreams ! I loved it so much that it brought tears to my eyes ! I felt like a princess ! " Jaya Newell ( Bride ) " Our wedding day went wonderfully ! Everyone was telling me how great I looked in my dress . Thanks so much for making our dress shopping experience so great ! " Congratulations to Stephanie on winning the December Marilee 's Photo Contest ! " Stephanie VanRooy ( Bride ) Our glorious wedding day could not have been possible without the help and skilled knowledge from Marilee s Staff . hey pulled a dress from your vast collection based on my rather vague description . wasn t convinced that a woman of my curvy size and age could pull off my Marilyn Monroe vision . T ey encouraged me to give it a go that I had great curves and they were right . It was love between the dress and me instantly . As a result we also found perfect dresses for my jr . bridesmaid , maid of honor and my mom . Th nks again for all your help . Lovely family photo with all the ladies dressed in their fabulous Marilee 's fashions for this memorable day . Thank you , Mary Lalama , for helping me find my wedding dress . I truly felt beautiful on my special day and my dress had much to do with that . You really are an expert at what you do ! Thank you for making my dress shopping experience at Marilee 's a wonderful one . Lisa Sheppard ( nee Bennett ) Dear Mary , I can 't thank you and Debbee enough for all of your help . My dress set the tone for the whole wedding . I received so many compliments on my dress and so did our mothers . Thanks again , I cannot thank Mary and her staff enough for putting me in the most beautiful dress and veil I have ever seen ! I felt amazing and the look on my husband 's face was well worth it ! I would send every bride to Marilee 's for your patience and expert service . Our family and friends thought my dress was beautiful and that it was the perfect fit for me ; simple but elegant . I received numerous compliments about it - especially about the gorgeous lace - up back . Of course , everyone asked me where I got my dress and I did not hesitate to tell them that it was from Marilee 's Bridal and that I had the best experience picking it out ! " Here is a photo of my husband Marcelo and I on our wedding day . We 're standing out front of Oak Hall Estate in Niagara Falls where our reception was held . I received sooo many compliments on my dress and I think it fit our day perfectly . My intricate lace gown went so well with the classic elegance we were going for , and I was told the dress suited me perfectly by so many of my friends and family that I know it was a true representation of my style and personality . Our day was truly perfect and I want to thank you and your staff for playing such an important part in it . Many thanks ! " I wanted to say how excited I was to show off my dress on my wedding day in September ! It was perfect for me . I went to 4 stores prior to coming to Marilee 's and the experience I had at the other stores was not good . My maid of honor and one of my bridesmaids recommended you to me . The day I came to Marilee 's I was not aware that I needed to book an appointment , but Nancy was nice enough to work with me and let me know that you always are happy to assist brides if you have someone available . She took the time to listen to what I was looking for , although I was not 100 % myself . She also was able to stay within my specifications and well within my price range . Needless to say I found my " perfect " dress that very day ! I wanted a very simple dress with no train , nothing over the top and Marilee 's staff managed to find it . Your staff went above and beyond to help me make my day special . I am so very pleased with your store . I also found my bridesmaids dresses the same day at your store ! I cannot tell you how many compliments my girls got regarding how gorgeous their dresses were and how well the colors coordinated . They looked so beautiful and I have your staff to thank for that ! ! Thank - you , Thank - you , Thank you ! The staff at Marilee 's was wonderful in helping me figure out exactly what I wanted . I could not have asked for a better experience ! Thank you ! I wanted to send you a few photos of my wedding gown which I purchased at Marilee 's . And to say a big thank you ! The staff at Marilee 's were very helpful - particularly Debbee - and it was great to be able to purchase my dress from a local business here in Niagara . The lace , along with the long train , completed the romantic , timeless look I had wanted for my wedding day . The dress was perfect for our garden wedding in Beamsville on July 14 , 2012 - a day that was so full of joy , love and laughter . In addition to purchasing my dress from Marilee 's , I also purchased a crystal choker necklace which I turned into my headpiece ( as seen in the photo ) , along with a pair of crystal earrings to match . I came in to Marilee 's today to try on a few dresses that I had seen in magazines . I tried on a few that were very similar to my pictures and then something completely different that Debbee pulled for me . I ended up loving the one she suggested for me and buying it my first trip in ! Debbee was great at helping me with all the dresses and there was no rush to get me in and out . Thank you so much ! Katrina Zancola ( Bride ) My name is Megan Nickel and this past June I had both my prom and graduation . I was wondering what I would wear to both events and where I would go to get my dresses . I decided to go to Marilee 's Bridal in Fonthill and am I ever glad I did . From the moment I walked into the store I was treated like a princess . The staff were so helpful as I wasn 't quite sure what I wanted in terms of length , style and even colour . As I talked with the staff about what my vision was they led me to a couple different styles and helped me pick out the colours that would look good on me . I would recommend Marilee 's to anyone looking for a formal dress . I can 't thank the staff enough and especially Mary for all her help , she went above and beyond what I could have expected . Megan Nickel ( Grade 12 Grad ) Myself , Maja Vuckovic , along with my husband , Petar Vuckovic , had an amazing day on June 2 , 2012 . The day was full of laughter and joy . Everybody thought it was such a great joyful wedding . That day was the most beautiful thing that has ever happened in my life . I was the happiest woman when I got into my wedding gown . As I entered the hall peoples ' jaws dropped and I got comments such as : " WOW , you look beautiful ; " " Your dress is just gorgeous ; " and " Wow , you look like a princess ! " I really felt like a princess in my gown and that was my wish all along even throughout my childhood . The gown fulfilled every moment that day . . . . it made me so happy that my husband said , " Wow ! " Mary , thank you so much for showing me this gown . I will always treasure this day as well as Marilee 's . Mary and the Staff at Marilee 's , Thank you for all your help in selecting the perfect dresses for my daughter and myself . We received many compliments on the dresses . Our Cruise was fantastic . Thanks again , Daniella Stukel I didn 't know where to even begin looking for dresses and was dreading having to look all over to find something I would like . But , somebody recommended Marilee s and I decided that might be a good place to start looking . am so happy I did , because I found a dress within a couple of hours with some exceptional help and found all the accessories as well . didn 't have to shop in any other stores ! was extremely happy with my dress and with all the services I received from you all . he personal touches really were great as well . thoroughly enjoyed the bride 's breakfast too . t made me feel very special . he wedding day itself was perfect . t was exactly what we wanted . lthough we were the ones getting married , the main focus was on God and what He has done for us . veryone commented on how beautiful the dress was and how beautiful I looked . didn 't have to worry about the dress not fitting right and I could relax and enjoy our special day , the people and the dress , something I really appreciate and still think back on today . would not change a thing . have recommended you and your store and will continue to do so . hanks so much for all you have done for me and wish you God 's richest blessings as you continue to help others ! Just wanted to send along a HUGE thank you to all of the staff at Marilee 's for helping me find the perfect wedding gown ! Thank you so much ! The day was perfect , filled with many blessings of family , friends and of course a commitment that has changed Ryder 's and my life . Thanks for your part in what we pray is the start of a God - centered and blessed marriage ! Blessings ! ! Darlene Cnossen ( nee Hultink ) - Bride " Our wedding took place in the middle of a tropical storm in Kauai Hawaii ! A record was set for the highest amount of rainfall in 1 - hour , landslides closed the bridge to the north shore where the ceremony was taking place . Our hair and make - up person , photographer , caterer , limo , sound and lighting person , florist etc . were stuck on the other side of the bridge . The wedding planner encouraged us to move the date of the wedding but we were determined to get married on the date engraved on our wedding bands . And at 3 : 45 , the sky cleared and the rain stopped . Our 4pm wedding started on time . Not a drop fell during the ceremony or during pictures . The rain started again at 5pm and didn 't stop for 3 more days . Our families rallied and we pulled off an incredible , beautiful day . We moved the location of the reception to a house where family was staying . The bridge opened just in time for friends who were stuck to get to the wedding ceremony , the flowers arrived just after the ceremony but in time to make an appearance in pictures . Tables , chairs , linens and catering were set up 15 minutes before guests arrived at the reception house . My bridesmaids took great care of me , did hair and make - up , and took " before " pictures . The food was delicious and the drinks flowed ! Everyone had worked hard , but everyone had fun ! And the dress held up wonderfully ! Though it was a little muddy , I got so many compliments on the design and style of my Robin Jillian . It worked perfectly with the embellishments from the bridesmaids dresses . I was very pleased . My husband and I ended up with a perfect wedding day in the most beautiful place in the world . We both feel very very lucky that everything worked out the way that it did . " " I would like to sincerely thank you for all that you did when I chose my gown . You were very professional and I had a lot of respect for you and the way you run your business . I would , without a doubt , refer your store to anyone interested in purchasing a gown . Our wedding was held in Jamaica on March 1st and it was the most amazing setting for a wedding . We celebrated the ceremony with our 2 daughters . Everyone continually commented on my gown and how perfect it was for an island wedding . It was so incredibly comfortable and flowed so elegantly in the breeze . I was told it looked " classy , elegant and sexy all in one " . I was thrilled to hear the positive comments . Everyone loved my gown and so did I ! I felt like a princess all day long ! Everyone loved the style of it , the way it fit my body but also how it was modest . They loved the detail on the bodice and the shimmering organza on the bottom of the gown . My dress was more than I ever could have imagined ! It was perfect , there is no way to describe it . Thank you for helping me find the perfect dress ! " " After searching throughout Toronto and the states , I found my perfect dress at Marilee 's , here in my hometown . The staff is absolutely delightful and I can honestly say that Marilee 's has the best price and selection on dresses and accessories , hands down . Not only did I find my dress , I was also able to pull it all together with the many great accessories that they sell as well . Thanks for such an awesome experience ! Everyone at my wedding said that the dress was " so me , " and that is all because of Marilee 's . " " I found the wedding dress of my dreams at Marilee 's . It wasn 't the dress that I had in my head when I started looking with my mom but it turned out to be absolutely perfect and I felt amazing on my wedding day ! Thank you to Mary and her team for their help . " Congratulations to Amanda on winning the November Marilee 's Photo Contest ! Each month , Marilee 's conducts a draw for a dinner gift certificate for the best wedding photos submitted to us by our brides . " Thank you to the ladies at Marilee 's for making the search for my perfect dress not only stress free but enjoyable ! My dress was absolutely perfect and I couldn 't be happier ! " " Our Wedding Day , on October 1st , was wonderful . My husband simply loved my wedding gown . My family and friends thought I looked stunning and radiant . I felt like a princess and it felt great ! My wedding gown was adored by all and I had several questions as to where I had bought it . " Marilees ! " I said , and the whisper of your name filled the room , it was wonderful . The cape I rented gave it that extra special touch and it kept me warm as it was a little chilly . " Congratulations to Deanna White ( nee Morris ) - - a beautiful Marilee 's bride on June 4 , 2011 ! " " I am so glad I went to Marilee 's to buy my dress , because I didn 't think I would be able to find something that would suit me , that I would be comfortable in , and that I would feel beautiful in . The moment I walked into Marilee 's and spoke with a consultant I knew I was in the right place . It was the first and only place I went to . After trying on only 4 dresses , I found the one . The moment I put it on I had tears in my eyes because I knew I had found my dress ! For the first time I felt like a princess ! You ladies made my dream come true on my wedding day , because I just wanted to feel beautiful for once in my life , and I did ! I am very self - conscious about my body , after having my son . The amount of compliments about myself and my dress brought tears to my eyes all night . When I had my dress on I felt beautiful , and like a princess . It really hit me when my Husband 's niece came up to me and told me I was the most beautiful princess she had ever seen , and I had the prettiest dress ever ! Thank you so ! so ! so ! much for making this experience for me so beautiful ! I have already recommended you to everyone I know ! " " Rich and I got married on Friday September 2nd and our day was PERFECT ! ! ! ! The sun seemed to be shining just for us . Of all the things that happened that day , I was sure of these two , I was marrying the love of my life and my dress was perfectly made for just me ! We had 172 of our closest family and friends to celebrate and I was so excited to show them my dress . I bought my dress before we had even booked the Hall . It was the second dress I tried on and all the other dresses failed in comparison to this one . The beading and jewels were the highlight of this gown ! Mouths and jaws dropped when I walked into the church . Everyone loved the dress and , of course , wanted to know where I purchased it . I have been stalling in having the dress cleaned and put away because I want to wear it everyday ! I would do the laundry , clean my house , or just relax and entertain in this dress . I would love to have a dress made that has the same top as my wedding gown . Thank you for all the help and support with my wedding gown . The team at your boutique is professional and caring . " " Thank you , Mary , so much for your help choosing the perfect bridal gown and bridesmaid 's dresses for my special day . You were so encouraging and made the whole thing so easy ! I felt like my vintage Hollywood vision came true on my wedding day - - Thank you ! " " Thanks again for your help in choosing the perfect dresses for our destination wedding . My little tomboy hockey player looked like a lovely lady in her bridesmaid dress , and it fit Raiven perfectly . With my stunning dress off the sale rack and the gorgeous tiara , I truly felt like a princess on my special day . Thanks again ! " I just wanted to drop you a quick line to thank you for the excellent service I had the pleasure to experience this past summer at your very fine shop . The staff at your shop not only attentively listened to the many demands I made in my search for the ideal wedding dress , but they also responded and delivered the aforementioned wedding dress without breaking a sweat . In fact , the only moisture being produced during that appointment was exuding from the tear ducts of myself and my present mother - in - law and they were , I can assure you , tears of the most pleasant sort of emotion . Thank you again for making my experience as a bride everything that every woman hopes it will be : beautiful and effortless . " Thank you for all of the help that you gave me in picking out my bridal gown . You all made me feel very special . I will spread the word on how great you are ! " " Thank you for all of the help that you gave me in picking out my bridal gown . You all made me feel very special . I will spread the word on how great you are ! " " Thank you for all the help of picking out my dress . You ladies made me feel very special . I will spread the word on how great you all are . " Janet " I just wanted to thank you for the amazing experience I had at your shop this past weekend . I had been to several shops and tried on many gowns . I was beginning to feel jaded . Ashley was exactly the consultant that I needed . She listened to the information I gave her and pulled dresses , veils and sashes that were what I was looking for . I hope in the next month I will be able to bring my mom to show her the gown I bought , she was unable to come that day . Thanks again , I 've been raving about your shop since last week and recommended it to my other brides friends who are on the hunt . " Ellen Sinnett " I had a wonderful experience today at the shop . I purchased a Mother of the Groom dress with the assistance of Laura . She couldn 't have been more helpful , patient , and encouraging . She donated almost two hours ' time to helping me try on several dresses and make my choice . I was shocked there were so many dresses to choose among for a short , ageing , not overly slender woman . Laura made it fun , suggesting accessories and alteration options to enhance my outfit . In the end , I chose a dress and jacket that were off the clearance rack . That was a lot of effort and attention to detail without a significant profit . I wanted to share my appreciation and to compliment Laura for her excellent skills and lovely manner . Another very pleasant employee shared her expertise and advice as well . All in all , I had an excellent experience and am thrilled with my dress . Several colleagues advised me not to shop at a local bridal boutique but to go over the river for better selection and prices . I 'm glad I didn 't listen ! " " Thank you to all of you at Marilees for helping me to find the perfect dress ! Especially , thank you to Ashley and Laura who assisted me . I had such a great experience with both girls , and would highly recommend your store . I 'm so glad that I found my dress at Marilees , and I cannot stop thinking about it ! Further , thank you to Ashley for the lovely postcard that I received in the mail today . " " My experience at Marilee 's was absolutely amazing . All of the ladies were excellent but Carleigh and Mary specifically took care of me and truly made it a special experience . I would recommend Marilees to any future bride I know . Thank you ladies . " " My experience at Marilee 's was absolutely amazing . All of the ladies were excellent but Carleigh and Mary specifically took care of me and truly made it a special experience . I would recommend Marilees to any future bride I know . Thank you ladies . " " I found the staff at Marilee 's , particularly Mary Lalama & Debbee , to be fantastic . My Mom and bridesmaids also loved them . They made my special event a memorable one . Marilee 's is a top notch bridal shop ! " " My first impression of Marilee 's was that it was very clean . My bridal consultation flowed with ease and I found my dream dress ! Thank you to the staff at Marilee 's . You have a great seelction of dresses and I loved the viewing area ! " " Thank you for a great shopping experience at Marilee 's ! I saw the dress through your window and knew right away that I had to try it on . Debbee was very helpful and made me feel comfortable . I am so thrilled with my dress and can 't wait to wear it on my wedding day ! Thanks again ! Heather Britton ( wedding to take place on September 21 , 2013 ) " I had a great experience at Marilee 's ! ! ! Debbee was very helpful and friendly . No pressure at all ! I love my dress and even better , it was on sale ! " " Today was my first day shopping for a wedding dress . The staff at Marilee 's was very knowledgeable , helpful and friendly . Debbee helped me to find the perfect dress in no time ! " " Debbee was very helpful & friendly . She listened to my ideas , thoughts , likes and dislikes , and took them into consideration in finding my dress ! Overall , I had a very helpful and encouraging experience at Marilee 's . " " I came into Marilee 's not knowing what I wanted and I am leaving with a dress that makes me feel beautiful ! Thank you for a great day . The Marilee 's " Debbee was very helpful as I was a customer who wasn 't sure what I was looking for . I had a very pleasurable experience and would recommend her and Marilee 's to anyone . The price for my exquisite gown was amazing ! Thank you … . " " I was very scared coming to Marilee 's today due to a previous experience at another bridal store . Debbee made my experience exactly how my first experience should have been . I decided to go to Marilee 's because I had heard lots of great things about your store . I will refer Marilee 's to every bride getting married in the future . I love Debbee and I love my dress ! Thanks so much . " " I came into Marilee 's not expecting to find anything . Mary was extremely helpful and kind and helped me find my dress in one shot . She kept within my budget and knew exactly what to do to make me feel beautiful . Thanks so much Marilee 's ! I am a very happy bride . " " I have found my entire experience at Marilee 's fantastic . The bridal consultant was very knowledgeable and was able to find exactly what I was looking for by the 3rd dress ! The process was stress - free and exciting . I am very , very happy with my purchase and would recommend coming to Marilee 's to every future bride . Thanks very much for the wonderful experience . I feel beautiful ! " " Marilee 's really stood out to me at the Bridal Show with their friendliness and professionalism . My experience at the store only got better . Debbee was so helpful and understanding . The store itself is very clean and organized ! Debbee helped me find my perfect dress ; the first one I tried on ! Thank you so much for this amazing experience and for making it fun and keeping it " Debbee was very helpful in providing me a selection of gowns based on my pictures and ideas . I felt very comfortable and no pressure . I had a great experience find " the " dress ! Thanks Debbee . " " I was incredibly happy with my experience at Marilees bridal ! I had Mary as my bridal consultant , and she was amazing , I would recommend her to anyone ! I found my dress on my first visit , and I couldn 't have been happier . Thank you so much to everyone at Marilees bridal ! ! " " I just wanted to send a quick email thanking Mary and Debbie at Marilee s for assisting me with finding my dream wedding dress . ary was a great consultant and was a pleasure to work with . went to my appointment not expecting to find something I loved because I am a bit indecisive of a person . ary was able to suggest gorgeous gowns for me to try on and I absolutely fell in love with the gown that I bought . ended up finding not only my gown but a gorgeous veil and necklace as well . am a wedding coordinator and I can t wait to refer future brides to Marilee s . " k " Immediately after I showed Debbee a photo of a dress that I had in mind she knew exactly what dress to pull of Marilee 's rack . The first dress I tried on is now my wedding dress ! Marilee 's staff has great taste and great service . " " Debbee was very friendly and helpful ! She guided me through the different styles and helped me decide what was best suited for my big day . Thank you so , so much ! I will surely recommend Marilee 's to all of my friends . " " I loved the service and the beautiful selection at Marilee 's ! I also enjoyed the flexible appointments . I had a great experience shopping for my bridal gown . " " I had an excellent experience at Marilee 's . The staff is helpful and I found my bridal gown on my very first visit ! I will definitely recommend your store to others . " The first dress that she suggested for me was the one I fell in love with . All of the associates were very friendly and helpful while I was in the store . I had a very positive experience at Marilee 's and would recommed this store to other brides . " " Debbee was a great help to me ! I tried on numerous dresses and each one Debbee picked looked great . She has a real knack for knowing which dress looks good on every body type . It was a real pleasure shopping at Marilee 's ! " " Thank you very much for the wonderful experience that both my mom and I had at your store on Monday ! We couldn 't have had a better experience . Your store was the first we came to and we are so happy that we were both able to purchase our beautiful gowns . I am so excited about my wedding dress , and I cant wait for it to come in ! Thanks again , and I will be sure to call and make another appointment to not only see my dress again , but for the bridesmaids to come in with me and look at dresses as well ! Thank you ! " " A wonderful experience everytime I 'm here . Your service is unmatchable . We came in for I dress and left with a wedding dress and two mothers dresses . Fantastic ! This is the only bridal store I will recommend to anyone . Thanks for an amazing experience . " " We dealt with Debbee and she was an amazing help ! We found the most perfect bridesmaids dresses within no time . She made the girls feel really comfortable and happy ! Thank you so much . " " We had a wonderful experience today at Marilee 's . The dresses were picked to my specifications and any that I disliked were put away with no problems . I felt at ease with Mary . We knew about the store from when my sister got her wedding and bridesmaids dresses here 12 years ago . Thank you ! " " Thank you for the wonderful service ! I was not looking forward to this experience but you made it pain free ! Thank you to Mary & Mary ! We had an easy , relaxing shopping experience with both of you today ! " " Thank you so much for your personalized service . All the staff at Marilee 's are very responsive , caring and helpful - - which made the process of picking a dress so lovely ! I would highly recommend the store to anyone . Thank you again ! " " Amazing ! Mary was wonderful ! Thank you so much ! I didn 't think I would only need to try on one dress to find the perfect one for me . Mary is truly skilled at what she does . Thanks a million ! " " I am a very picky person by nature and was wary of wedding dress shopping as I was convinced that I would never find what I was looking for . Pat helped me overcome my fears . On my first visit she pulled a gorgeous gown that became " The One " which I purchased on my second visit . It has everything that I want as it is so beautiful I can 't wait to wear it on my day . My fiance will adore it ! Thank you for the excellent service . " " I had a great experience at Marilee 's ! The wedding consultants were fantastic and helped me find my dress ! I will recommend this place to all my friends . Thank you so much ! " " The service at Marilee 's was so great to work with . The staff were very friendly and helpful with finding the perfect dress for me . By far , Marilee 's has been the best dress shopping experience . Thank you everyone at Marilee 's ! " " Thank you Marilee 's for all your help ! Your customer service went one step further then most stores . Thanks for taking care of my bridal party and I during these exciting times . I will most certainly recommend you to many people ! " " I was very pleased with Marilee 's . We were to many bridal places that didn 't help Ashley feel as special as Pat did at Marilee 's . I would recommend Marilee 's to everyone . Thankyou for making Ashley feel great ! " " When my daughter was getting married two years ago I went to Toronto and went into at least a dozen stores looking for a mother of the bride dress and found nothing . I came back home and found just what I was looking for at Marilee 's ! Now , two years later , for my son 's wedding , I came right back to Marilee 's and again found the perfect dress . You do not have to look any further than your own back yard . Its all here ! " " We came in to pick out our bridesmaids dresses and could not be happier that we chose Marilee 's for our experience . Professional , kind , and careful service helped us find the perfect pieces and we had so much fun at the same time . I will be recommending Marilee 's for an ideal bridal shopping experience . One that is truly memorable . " Bridesmaids and mother - of - the - bride were totally outfitted in one hours . Unbelievable ! And without any pressure ! In addition to this our bridal consultant told us the truth about how we really looked in our choices of gowns . " " We came in to the store today to pick out the bridesmaids dresses and my mother - of - the - bride dress for my wedding . The service was incredibly professional . The girls found the perfect dress ! We were all impressed with Marilee 's . " " What a Great Experience this was ! I had great fun ! Thanks for all of your help , Pat . I 'm looking forward to wearing my dress ! " " Every time I entered the store I was treated extremely well no matter who waited on me . Even when I was a little anxious about the dress I ordered the consultants all put me at ease . I 'm grateful , pleased and now very excited to wear my dress . Thank you ladies very much for all your help . It was a pleasure doing business with Marilee 's ! " " My best friend and I found Marilee 's at the Niagara Bridal Show at Club Italia , after many , MANY failed attempts to find a place with good selection and great customer service . Marilee 's is a breath of fresh air . A beautiful store with wonderful ladies ! Thank you for your help ! " " Excellent customer service ! It makes all the difference . Sara gave me excellent help , great advice , was honest with me and I felt that I was able to trust what she said . Thanks for your help ! " " Anna was very professional and courteous . She was able to determine what styles best suited me right from the start ! Thank you for a very pleasant experience . " " The entire staff at Marilee 's has been wonderful . Mary was very helpful and was able to fit the entire bridal party and the Mother 's family with the most amazing dresses . Thank you so much ! " " The experience was great once again . Sara and Pat helped to make this day very enjoyable . We will be back with our bridesmaids and mother of the groom . We hope Sara will be available on our next visit . Thank you . " " Customer service was excellent . I will recommend Marilee 's to everyone . The staff was extremely helpful and I enjoyed my visits here . Thank you so much for your help . " " I visited your store 3 1 / 2 years ago and had a great experience . The ladies helped to make my shopping day so easy . Once again , for my daughter 's wedding this May , the ladies picked out a gorgeous dress for me . I didn 't think that I would like it by looking at it on the hanger , however , one of the ladies encouraged me to try it on . I loved it and bought it . The customer service at Marilee 's is just incredible . I will always come back . Thank you so much ! " " I have purchased my gown , tiara , purse and crinoline here . The experience and help from all the staff makes each visit such a pleasure . You are all so accomodating and I really appreciate everything that you have all done . Thank you . " " Thank you so much to the Marilee 's staff for all of your help ! You made shopping for my dress so easy . You 've all given my mom and I wonderful memories that we will share forever ! Thanks again ! " " I was very happy with the service at Marilee 's ! And just love my dress . Thank you so much for all your help ! See you in the near future . " " I entered Marilee 's to " have a quick look " and was warmly welcomed although I had no appointment . Very quickly I was being serviced by one of the lovely ladies , was made to feel welcome that I was visiting and received no pressure from anybody . I was offered the opportunity to try something on but when I declined I felt no pressure . However , the warmth that I received from all of the ladies , left me feeling that I wanted to try on a few dresses . I ended up purchasing the perfect dress and accessories , mainly due to those lovely ladies with their knowledge and advice . Thank you so much . Referrals will definitely come from me and I look forward to returning for my second wedding . " " Our experience was made an easy and happy time for both my daughters and myself . The staff at Marilee 's are very expreienced and made me feel very comfortable and reassured with our choices . This helped to take a lot of the pressures off . " To the staff at Marilee 's : I wanted to thank you for making dress shopping such an enjoyable and stress - free experience . Our wedding day was absolutely perfect and I loved every minute of wearing my dress . Thank you ! " Allison Wyatt nee Verroche " I showed up without an appointment ( I didn 't know ) to merely browse and ended up buying the first dress I ever tried on . All of the ladies in the shop helped me find the dress that is perfect for me . I really appreciated the time and effort they all put forth for me . I just wanted to thank you and your girls for being so attentive and helpful . I didn 't realize how great you guys were until I went with one of my bridesmaids to visit another bridal store that is closer to home . We were practically ignored there . We were left to wander around the store , browse dresses , pull dresses out , try them on , and put them all back by ourselves . There were three ladies in the store and yet only one of them gave us limited help . Otherwise , all three just sat by their desk gossiping . Nobody asked us if we were looking for bridesmaids dresses , wedding gowns , or anything . This is a stark contrast to you and your co - workers . Although your store is a little out of the way for me , the service makes the trip certainly worth while ! " Experience makes all the difference ! Thank you for your help and kind ways . I will recommend your beautiful store and your expertise to anyone I find that is getting married . I love the dress you helped me find and how beautiful Pat made me feel in it . " " I purchased my wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses at your store and was extremely happy , so much so that I refer you to anyone who says that they are getting married ( even if they are strangers to me ) . The consultant that assisted me selected the perfect gown . Thank you so much for helping me look beautiful on my special day . " " I was extremely pleased with the help that I received and as a result my wedding dress looked great for my wedding . Although I was 5 months pregnant , the dress fit perfect . I have referred every bride that I have met to go to your store to purchase their dresses there . " " Thank you for your assistance ! Judy was so kind and helpful . I 'm very excited about my dress and appreciate your help . Thanks so much . " " Thank you so much for making the experience of buying my wedding dress so easy and relaxing . The staff were fantastic and very easy to deal with . I would recommend your business to anyone starting out on this journey . " " I have never been let down when I come to your store . The ladies go above and beyond to make you feel comfortable and beautiful . Everyone is extremely knowledgable They turn what could be an awkward situation into a wonderful experience . I have loved being your customer and it is an honour to visit your store . Thank you so much ! " " Fantastic customer service ! I have been in a lot of wedding parties and have never had service like this . The help and suggestions given put me in the perfect dress . The pickup time was well before expected ! Would definitely suggest Marilee 's to any bride & bridal party . " We appreciated your opinion on our dresses , jewelry , veil , and shoes . We were totally pampered by the professionals in your shop . Our items even came in before expected which really helped to make planning Allison 's special day much less stressful . I have recommended your shop to many new brides to be and will continue to do so for many years to come . " " Great service and store atmosphere . I am from the Buffalo area and have shopped at many local bridal salons . I found that Marilee 's Bridal was an excellent choice . There were many lovely gowns to try on and the service was excellent . My dress came in promptly and I love it ! " " I had the best time ever . . . I found the " one " and they were so patient . I would recommend Marilee 's over any other bridal store in the Niagara Region . Thanks for everything ! " " My experience at Marilee 's was fabulous ! My consultant was so patient as I tried on dress after dress until I found the right one . I loved trying on all the Maggie Sottero gowns that were at the store for Marilee 's Trunk Show . In the end , I found just the right one on the sale rack . I could take it home that day , no waiting for it to come in , and I only spent $ 500 . My bridesmaids , who were a variety of sizes found the right dress that suited all of them , and my mother , who hasn 't worn a dress in 15 years , found something elegant and comfortable . Thank you Marilee 's ! " " I just wanted to thank the staff at Marilee 's from the bottom of my heart ! Tammy really made my wedding dress shopping dreams come true . This was the fifth store my mom and I had tried and I really wish I would have come to you first ! I tried on two dresses and the second one was " the one " ! I will recommend Marilee 's to everyone and I am VERY impressed with the one - on - one service and advice and especially the up - front knowledge that the staff are not on commission . That really makes wedding dress shopping stress and guilt - free ! I am also very thankful that although you require appointments you were able to squeeze me in on a Saturday afternoon . I understand that shops are busy at this time and I am so grateful that you were so accomodating ! I just wanted to let you know that I truly enjoyed my experience with you and I am SO thankfull that we found you ! The store is elegant , personal , and very comfortable . Thank you so much again and I will see you when my dress comes in ! Thank goodness for Marilee 's and Mary Lalama . You made dress shopping so easy and such a pleasure . Thanks to you I have the perfect dress for our son 's Fall wedding . Denise Dupuis ( St . Catharines ) " The shopping experience at Marilee 's was absolutely amazing . The staff was very friendly and I immediately felt at home . Mary L . was such a genius and such a help . I definately could not have done it without her . I without a doubt love my dress ! ! ! " " Nancy P . was very helpful with all of the ideas that she showed me . She was very attentive with my mother , maid of honour , and my bridesmaid . Marilee 's has great choices and ideas . Thank you . " " Mary L . is an exceptional sales lady . She was very patient when helping me select a mother - of - the - groom dress . Good job Mary ! Thank you so much ! "
|
If you 're a devoted reader of this blog you will know that I am more or less obsessed with this collection of children 's poetry , Poetry Speaks to Children , which features a ton of amazing poems by heavyweight poets , many of which are not written for children but which have great appeal for the little ones . So you 've got your Jane Yolen and Margaret Wise Brown an also Galway Kinnell , Shakespere , Langston Hughes , Gwendolyn Brooks , and yes , Lewis Carroll . We 've been listening to it in the car for years , and the kids ' interest waxes and wanes but there was a period where they had me play The Jabberwocky on repeat play for WEEKS . They both absolutely adore the poem . Which led me to do something super - pretentious and get them air - brushed T shirts from Walmart , one which reads " Beamish Boy " for Primo , and " JubJub Bird " for Seconda . Here 's the thing with the Jabberwocky , and with much poetry and art and music in general . The kids have as good a shot at " understanding " it as we do . At first Primo asked me " What does it mean ? " and I told him that alot of the words were made - up words that don 't really exist so he can guess as much as I can as to what its about . They don 't have all of the baggage that adults bring to reading poetry - the drive to decipher and the feeling ignorant when we feel like we can 't - - and so they can enjoy it . Primo , and Seconda too , only two years old , got that it was a story about a battle with a beast , a boy hero , about a proud mother . They absolutely luxuriated in the language . So I was DELIGHTED to read this article by Robert Pinsky on Slate which basically says that I was totally right all along , I 'm Mother of the Year and my kids are brillant . Its actually a really great piece about what makes great kids ' poetry and Pinsky - - dreamy dreamboat that he is - - makes a great case for reading kids poetry which isn 't pat or mawkish but which has a respect for all that the childhood experience encompasses , including the darkness . I fully plan on reading the poems he recommends to my kids , especially thePosted by Have you seen this hilarious photo blog : Shit My Kids RuinedBasically , parents just submit pictures of the items that their children have broken , defaced or otherwise ruined forever . The site 's subtitle bills it as " the best birth control ever , " and I 'm always on board with anything that gives parents a sense of commiseration and non - parents an accurate sense of what they 're signing up for . I could have a whole section on this website featuring the various lipsticks Seconda has gnawed on , despite the fact that she is now three and a half years old and should know better . And coming soon to my very own blog is a truly traumatizing tale of something ALIVE that my kid ruined . You 'll just have to wait and find out . . . . I hate to lump all the members of my family together or to define the kids according to my terms , but I have to face the fact that the four of us are not elegant folk . We 're not naturally polished people . There are several reasons for this . A . I 'm lazy and its easier not to brush your hair and iron your clothes . B . I genuinely enjoy a new bohemian / urban grunge look , and I think its more comfortable for the kids . C . When the kids aren 't perfectly groomed , I don 't fret about them getting messy which is better for everyone because they are always messy . And D . we 're just not that kind of people . Case in point : Seconda 's hair . I see girls in her class arrive at school with perfectly radiant and lustrous bobs , hair that belongs in a Pantene commercial , or lovely cascades of curls with well - placed bows in the front . Hair is swept away from girls ' faces with headbands featuring large roses on the side or braided neatly down the back . My kid always looks like a total ragamuffin with her hair literally sticking out straight from her head , as shown above . Its not for lack of trying . I do actually invest a laughable amount of time trying to pull her hair out of her face because , though I don 't mind a slovenly appearance in general , it does drive me INSANE in the membrane when anyone - kids or adults - have hair in thier eyes . Its just one of my pet peeves . So I try to convince her to wear hairclips - - I 've bought a tons of beautiful little barrettes - - but invariably , she tosses them on the floor somewhere when I 'm not looking and that 's that . She does tolerate are braids , but seeing as she cut her own hair a few months ago , right in the front of her head , it is a challenge to braid it together , even in the French style , which as I think I 've mentioned before , I am expert in . All I can manage is a thin , tiny braid on the side of her head , approximately the width of a piece of dental floss , and that ends up sticking straight out like I 've put a wire in itToday , I was pushing her in the stroller to school , looking at that ridiculousPosted by David and I have a decent track record of making it out for dinner together and an equally respectable one for sneaking out to a movie sans kids . But dinner AND a movie , well , now you 're talking three , four hours of adult evening entertainment and there are few people who can withstand the force of our children for that long , even when we pay them . So the only time we are able to score dinner and a movie is when we get my parents to take the kids overnight - which is precisely what we did on Friday . Dinner at Resto , this delicious Belgian place that had the impressive ability to please David ( Belgian beer ! burgers ! ) and me ( fancy sauces for my pommes frites ! Wafels with chocolate sauce ! ) . Plus it was restaurant week which is perhaps my favorite New York holiday ever , so three course ran us $ 35 . Movie was Inception , in IMAX . The great thing about when I see movies nowadays is that whereas before I used to hear all the buzz and read movie reviews and know what to expect , these days I don 't know jack . Which means when we 're choosing a movie David gives me a two - sentence sum - up , mentioning names of stars or directors , and the basic premise ( we do get into trouble sometimes since David often has a different read of movies than I do ; take , for example , his description of American Psycho as " not scary , no , comedic in a suspenseful way ! " ) Now , I show up to movies ready to be surprised . This is great because I don 't ever get disappointed when a movie doesn 't live up to its hype . Consequently , I go to Inception , and I 'm like , " Whoa , cool . It 's a dream within a dream ! " and then I got to have my mind blown when it was actually a dream within a ream within a dream within a dream . I didn 't love it the way I did Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but I give it major kudos for making some pretty thought - provoking existential ideas very mainstream and accessible , I did leave thinking however that the movie might cause an overly thoughtful or sensitive person to go straight to the looney bin . The subtitle could be , " Inception : recipe for insanity . " I will , for instance , never mention the idea to Primo , who frequently wonders aloud , while eating dinner or watching TV if he is , in fact , dreaming . Of course , there is the distinct possibility that he 's right and I 'm the one who 's dreaming right now . Maybe in my waking life , I 'm an accountant living in the Tulsa and this dream of blogging and drinking coffee in Brooklyn , is just mind - blowingly exciting . Posted by Here 's how I know I am a grown up . . I find it unthinkable that someone could possibly live in an apartment without air conditioning . In my first apartment after college , a two - bedroom in which three of us lived above the taco shop , we had no AC . I keenly remember those summers , sleeping in my bedroom , which did not have a window . I set up two fans on either side of my bed , pointed at each other , directly over my body . Even with that shit turned up to super - high and the hurricane - level winds blasting my face all night , it wasn 't the slightest bit refreshing . Then I tried jumping in the shower right before bed and lying naked in my bed in an attempt to cool off . I was covered in sweat within 30 seconds . Finally , I came to my senses and got , not an air - conditioner , but a boyfriend with an air conditioner . Yes , I basically pimped myself out for free air conditioning . I am not even exaggerating , really . I was dating this investment banker who had a swank Chelsea pad with copious air conditioning and though it was clear by July that things weren 't really going to work out , I held on to late August because hey , you can forgive a lot when you 're sleeping with Hi - Cool aimed right at your head . I remember one time I offered to have him stay over my place , just for equity 's sake and when he said , " Where 's the AC ? " I told him . " Well , I just eat a lot of Popsicles , then take a cold shower , get in bed sopping wet and blast my skin off with windpower . " Within 10 minutes , we were in a cab towards Manhattan . By the next summer , I realized that perhaps trading sex for air conditioning wasn 't strictly necessary and I shelled out the $ 250 for a small unit in the kitchen , next to my bedroom . On really hot nights , my roommates and I would drag my mattress into the kitchen and all sleep there . It was such a divine luxury . Today , the idea of sleeping without hard - core AC - - the kind that will cause frost to grow on my wet hair - is unthinkable . Having renounced casual sex , excessive booze , and drugs , I figure I deNicole Caccavo Kear Primo does not have the slightest idea how to make bunny ears and tie his shoes . He does know how to tie knots . Not just regular knots . My son knows how to tie irreversible , failsafe , crazy - tight little jugger - knots ( like that ? just coined the phrase right then ) ; he is so good at it , in fact , that if I ever have to transport something on the top of my car , I am getting him to secure it on there . I don 't know who taught him to do this . Perhaps it was the ghost of Blackbeard . It was , without a doubt , some semi - professional with seafaring experience . The kid could go to Knot - tying Olympics . He is fast and precise . Before you can say " No ! Don 't " the knot has been secured and two things are permanently attached . Now that he knows how to tie knots , he can 't stop himself . The way that he goes around affixing items to each other with string , you 'd think the sight of a world with free - range objects was an abomination to him . He is hooked . Can you begin to imagine how annoying this habit is for me , his housemate ? Every time I turn around , there 's a new blockade in my path . Chairs tied together , bedroom doors tied to closet doors tied to the toy - bin . The center of his tying universe is his bed . That bed has more shit hanging off of it than a chandelier , and after he affixes toys to strings and fastens the string to the top bunk railing , he encourages Seconda to swing on the twine like Tarzan . Wrong on a number of levels . I can only hope that his addiction subsides before the advent of autumn when I begin wearing shoes with laces . Otherwise I 'm expecting some serious face - plants in my future . A few weeks ago Primo had his first sleepover . I haven 't written about it til now because it has taken me this long to recover . The last sleepover I went to was when I was in junior high , freezing bras and wearing my retainer . I remember it being wildly fun . And I 'm sure Primo will remember this sleepover the same way . I recall it as an experience I could only repeat with the help of booze . Lesson number 1 of parenting : the amount of fun your child has is usually in direct proportion to how exhausted you will be . The sleepover was my brainchild , incidentally . On the last day of Kindergarten , we found out that Primo and Leigh , his very best friend , will not be in class together next year . These things happen of course , and maybe it will be good for them and prompt them to diversity their friend base . But still it was a blow . To pick up the kids ' spirits ( and mine , too , because frankly , I was as sad to know they 'd be separated as they were ) , I suggested that the following week , since there was no school or camp , that Leigh come to our apartment for both of the kids ' first - ever sleepover ! The children were thrilled . It feels good to make children so incredibly ecstatic , and perhaps I was so high from this that I neglected to brace myself for the insanity that would ensue . Let me say , before continuing , that the whole affair would have been fine , fairly unremarkable , if we were to live in a normal - sized residence , with over 200 square feet allotted to each of the member in our household . When you add a fifth person into our modified one - bedroom , you get pretty crowded . Of course , I grew up with me and my sisters and cousins often tossed in a bed all together - that was how I preferred it - so I don 't mind crowded sleeping quarters . As long as everyone is actually SLEEPING in them . Aye , there 's the rub . Because no one sleeps at a sleepover . We had dinner with my grandmother and the kids ate cartoon - character cookies that were as big as their faces which Leigh had brought over as a sleepover treat . I 'd told Primo and Sec that we could eat the graduation cake I 'd made a few days earlier for dessert so of course they wanted this as an after - cookie dessert and when I told them it was just a wee bit too much sugar for their little systems , my grandmother pointed out they could always have it for breakfast . " CAKE FOR BREAKFAST ! ! ! ! " they shrieked . The amount of sheer joy was almost at ChriPosted by From the perspective of the species , it 's perfectly unmysterious why people have children . From the perspective of the individual , however , it 's more of a mystery than one might think . Most people assume that having children will make them happier . Yet a wide variety of academic research shows that parents are not happier than their childless peers , and in many cases are less so . This finding is surprisingly consistent , showing up across a range of disciplines . Perhaps the most oft - cited datum comes from a 2004 study by Daniel Kahneman , a Nobel Prize - winning behavioral economist , who surveyed 909 working Texas women and found that child care ranked sixteenth in pleasurability out of nineteen activities . ( Among the endeavors they preferred : preparing food , watching TV , exercising , talking on the phone , napping , shopping , housework . ) This result also shows up regularly in relationship research , with children invariably reducing marital satisfaction . Then Senior goes on to investigates why parents seem to love their kids but hate parenting - is it the pressure on parents to spend " quality time " with kids and groom them with enriching , scheduled activities , even when we are so overworked ourselves ? Or the fact that parents are waiting longer to have kids , and actively choosing to become parents , so our expectations for how much we will enjoy it are higher . Pretty thought - provoking stuff . What I came away thinking is , " who the hell said parenting was going to be enjoyable ? " It seems , to me , to miss the point all together . If you 're in the market for a pleasant experience , let me recommend you hire a live - in masseuse . Definitely do not have children . Children are in no way pleasant or even that enjoyable . I guess it all boils down to what happiness means to you . And this is the point that Senior ends on : But for many of us , purpose is happiness - particularly those of us who find moment - to - moment happiness a bit elusive to begin with . Martin Seligman , the positive - psychology pioneer who is , famously , not a natural optimist , has always taken the view that happiness is best defined in the ancient Greek sense : leading a productive , purposeful life . And the way we take stock of that life , in the end , isn 't by how much fun we had , but what we did with it . ( Seligman has seven children . ) I always think of those characters in Chekhov , the ones who end the play crying , " Work ! We must work ! " I think of Kundera 's Unbearable Lightness of Being . These children weigh you down - they weigh you down more than you could ever imagine , and not just the work they involve , but the worry you have for their emotional and physical well being - but it would an excruciating life without them . It would be unbearable , for me , at least . Because as unpleasant as they can be , they do offer transcendence . It may not always be fun , but it is often joyous to be with them . It is often sublime . It makes the muscle of my heart strong in a way I would never have though possible . To me , that 's happiness . " : I don 't look like myself . " He is never happy about this fact . Rather , he says it in this very adult , disappointed , resigned way , I used to reply , " What are you talking about ? You look JUST like yourself . What do you mean ? " That , as you can imagine , was not a very constructive response . Its like telling a kid that 's scared to death of an ant , " Don 't be scared . There 's nothing to be afraid of . " That 's an adult 's instinctive response but its as effective a way to reduce their fear as is reading the dictionary backwards . When , in the history , have a child ever looked up at you and said , " By George , you 're right ! What was I thinking , being terrified of a harmless ant ? Thanks for restoring me to my toddler senses , Mom . " Back to the mirror at bathtime . The other night , Primo looked especially unlike himself , at least in his opinion . His hair was really spiky from being ruffled by the towel and it dismayed him . " Now I REALLY don 't look like myself ! " he exclaimed , " I keep changing ! Every day ! " I had to stifle my laughter because of course there was nothing at all funny about it to him . And really , this is a kid with an imagination so intense , so vivid , that he thinks metamorphosis is totally within the realm of possibly . We had to stop reading this kids ' version of the Metamorphosis because it was freaking him out that he might change into a tree or a spider or something . And we won 't be reading Kafka anytime soon , I 'll tell you that much . So I guess in his mind , when he sees his hair sticking up in a strange way , he must think , " Great ! My hair 's been changed . What 's next ? A tail ? The torso of a goat and the head of a lion ? WHERE DOES THE CHANGE END ? " " But it 's good that you 're changing ! That means you 're growing big and strong , just as it should be ! " He looked totally unconvinced . " Actually , " I said , " I know just how you feel . When I look at pictures of myself before I had kids , I don 't even recognize myself . I look completely different . And I don 't really like it either . " When all else fails , understanding 's always a good fallback . Posted by I am always fearful that David is going to lose his temper when going through airport security in NYC , and that we 'll miss our flight , at best , and be locked up in some secret dungeon at LaGuardia , at worst . I don 't fault him , really , for getting so perturbed . When you 're going through security with two little children , one of whom is utterly unmanageable - - making sure your daughter doesn 't run down the up escalator while you 're taking off your shoes ; remembering to remove laptops from backpacks ; locating the boarding passes ; explaining the liquids in your sippy cups - well , its stressful enough . Add to that downright unfriendly security people and you 've got yourself a disaster - in - the - making . David hates it because he always feels like he 's breaking rules that no one ever explained to him in the first place . " Sir , you need to remove the laptop from the sleeve , " " You . Again . You can 't put anything else in the bucket with your laptop . " " And your belt . Gotta come off . " " Sir , sir , SIR ! You need to push the buckets through . " That just about did it for David . " I have to push it through ? Since when ? " he muttered as we put on shoes on , " I have to do EVERYTHING now ? " When we flew back from Knoxville , however , it was an entirely different story . While I was busy collapsing the stroller ( which incidentally , the security man offered to do FOR ME ) Seconda dashed over to the X ray machine where Primo , who 'd been paying attention at LaGuardia , was helping to push the buckets through . Except Sec was just sticking her hand in the machine . " Honey , don 't do that ! " exclaimed a security worker about my mom 's age . At which point I reached over and yanked her back . Then the woman APOLOGIZED to me for startling my daughter . Who was , incidentally , totally unfazed . It would take the Nimean Lion to startle this one . Still , the woman said to me , sweet as cherry pie , " I 'm sorry . I didn 't want to alarm her , you know , but I was just scared since she was puttin ' her hands right on inside . " Posted by ? We 've just returned from a week in the country . Summertime in Tennessee sure is sweet . I now know how Huck Finn felt . I mean , we found a TURTLE , a living box turtle just hanging out in the woods near my father - in - law 's house . The kids didn 't really care that much , but I was over the MOON . I was like , " Guys ! This is some Bambi shit . We found a PET , a bona fide pet , not a water bug , just walking home . " Then my father - in - law said , " Yeah , we eat turtles here . They taste good . Course we don 't eat the littleuns like this ; not enough meat on their bones . " We also spotted an owl that day . Are you getting this ? Sec said , " Mommy , there 's an owl . " and I was like , " OK , honey , sure . I 'll play , I see a Tyrannosauras Rex ! " And DAvid was like , " There is a owl , up there in the tree . " Insane . The other thing we stumbled across , considerably less cute was a RATTLESNAKE . Man , can you imagine me coming across such a thing ? While we were swimming in the river ? Thankfully , I didn 't see it and David and his sister didn 't tell me about it til after they 'd speedily ushered us out of the river . So , I guess that 's what you get with nature - one day its a cute little turtle you encounter , the next a venonomous viper . Its why I try never to stray too far frm asphalt . But , that 's behind us now . Here 's some highlights from our country holiday . Catching tadpoles and feeding catfish in the pond : Making elf houses : For the record , ' twas I who made this house , not Primo and not Seconda , though they did scout for sticks and stones . I say this to point out how difficult elf - house - construction is . Or maybe I 'm just a lousy naturalist . I mean , I never made a gnome home in my childhood . I read books and played Barbies all summer long . Have you done this shit before ? It is freaking complicated . What 's NOT complicated is picking red ripe raspberries by the side of the road . Tasty little suckers . Sec went Blueberries - for - Sal style and ate all the berries up before they could land in her bag . Playing with the garden hose . I know this doesn 't sound thrilling to youPosted by Its the time of the year when we 're all hitting the beaches and pools and I thought I 'd share a link to this article called Drowning Doesn 't Look Like Drowning . I found it absolutely terrifying but was glad I read it . Here 's the main idea : The Instinctive Drowning Response - so named by Francesco A . Pia , Ph . D . , is what people do to avoid actual or perceived suffocation in the water . Andit does not look like most people expect . There is very little splashing , no waving , and no yelling or calls for help of any kind . To get an idea ofjust how quiet and undramatic from the surface drowning can be , considerthis : It is the number two cause of accidental death in children , age 15 andunder ( just behind vehicle accidents ) - of the approximately * 750 children * who will drown next year , about * 375 of them * will do so within 25 yards ofa parent or other adult . * In ten percent of those drownings , the adultwill actually watch them do it , having no idea it is happening * ( source : CDC ) . Didn 't mean to bum you out at the start of the weekend but forewarned is forearmed . My daughter used to be obsessed with Alice in Wonderland but now she 's obsessed with booboos , including but not limited to burns , scrapes , splinters , cuts , broken bones , blisters , bruises and burns . Oh , and animal bites . It is so macabre . " Do you have any booboos ? " she will ask upon greeting someone . If the person does happen to have a booboo , she will ask to see it , and persist in asking until the person shows it to her , even if the booboo is located in an intimate location , like the upper abdomen or underarm area . She just won 't take no for an answer . " Tell me the story of the booboo , " she will go on . And " I fell off m bike " will not cut it . She will fire off a barrage of follow up questions , more thorough than a medical examiner . " Did you BLEED ? " " Did your skin come off ? " " Did it hurt you so much ? " " Did you cry ? " And her weirdest , most pressing question , " Was there a hole ? " I think she 's referring to the epidermis but honestly , I 'm not fully sure what she is talking about . If you don 't happen to have a booboo , she will seem so disappointed that you will end up apologizing to her . At least my aunt did last week , when she couldn 't come up with anything gory enough for Seconda . " I 'm sorry Sec , " she said , " I don 't have any booboos . I can 't try to get some for you next time . " At her parent teacher conference a month or two ago , her teachers mentioned that she was very fascinated by what they called " body integrity . " " You mean , she 's obsessed with blood ? " " Yes , she always wants to hear the stories of everyone 's booboos . " Her teacher explained , " And it 's totally normal and in fact a very common thing we see in this age group . Kids who are 2 and 3 start really thinking about body integrity and are interested in hearing about how our bodies have the ability to heal . " " Really ? " I asked , " Because it seems so macabre . " What really makes her booboo obsession seem cuckoo is that when someone does happen to have a whopper of an injury she is DELIGHTED . It 's like she 's hit the jackpot . A friend of her friend broke both her wrists , so both forearms were covered in casts , and Seconda was positively smitten . And recently my sister who 's in California , had a plate glass shower door fall and shatter on her . She called and said , " Put Seconda on the phone ! She is going to LOVE this ! " " Hold on - - are you OK ? " I asked . " I have a whole bunch of cuts all over my hands and there was glass sticking out of m foot , " she said , " Let 's video chat ! Seconda will be thrilled ! " " I 'm not sure we should encourage her to revel over the fact that you 're a nutface and somehow managed to break s shower door all over you . " But I allowed the video chat , and Seconda was , indeed , enthralled . " Was there BLOOD ? " she asked , breathless . " Yes , " said my sister , " LOTS of blood ! " " Oh my GOD ! " shrieked Sec . I just hope that the kid will turn out to be a surgeon . Otherwise this fascination could lead me to worry . Posted by My new favorite pastime is to find musical metaphors for the behavior of my three year - old daughter . Besides being diverting , this also serves as a distraction for me from the growing level of frustration , dismay and panic I have about Seconda 's off - the - charts awful behavior . Because , really , why seek to ADDRESS the issue when you can DISTRACT yourself from it ? The other day , for some bizarre reason I was humming " How do you solve a problem like Maria ? " from the incomparable Sound of Music and I realized , " Hot damn ! This song is about my daughter ! " Consider : How do you solve a problem like Seconda ? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand ? This afforded me great relief . " The problem is that I am trying to make Sec into a nun ! " I thought , " when she should really be a governess ! " No , that 's not right . In any case , she is a MOONBEAM ! You can 't expect a wave to stop running when she gets to the playground gate . Why not embrace the free spirit that she is ? She will turn out all right . Maria did , although of course she 's a fictional character . But she did escape the Nazis , had perfect pitch and even hooked a rich guy . No need to worry ! Then a few days later , I was talking about Tina Turner to Primo ( who knows why , but this is what happens with your firstborn , at least my firstborn - they indulge your grown - up subjects of conversation and even seem interested ) . That was when it occurred to me that my daughter is pretty much exactly like the song Proud Mary , You know , every now and then I think you might like to hearsomething from Sec , nice , easyThere 's just one thingYou see , Sec never , ever does nothing nice , easyShe always does it nice and rough And that 's what we WANT from Tina and Ike . I mean , the slow opening is great and all but it 's only because you know the fast part 's coming . Otherwise , it 'd be a bust . All of which seems to indicate that my intractable hellion is going to be great , better than great , legendary . And you should always trust musical metaphors to prognosticate . Posted by So we were in the car last weekend , listening to a song David wanted to play for me and the kids . It 's called " Spanish Pipedream " written by John Prine and performed by the Avett Brothers . Its not a particularly kid - appropriate song , but I only learned that just now when I googled the lyrics , which make it clear the song is actually about falling in love with a " topless lady " who is " on the road to alcohol " but you can 't really understand what the hell those Southerners are saying until the chorus which is really funny and G - rated and it goes like this : Blow up your TV Throw away your papers Move to the country And build us a home " What would you do if we blew up our TV , throw away all the papers you draw on , and moved to the country ? " " I wouldn 't like it at all ! " " I know . And what if we planted a little garden and made you eat a lot of peaches ? " " YUCK ! " he yelled . As you may recall , Primo has a serious , abiding aversion to fruit of all kinds . It literally makes him gag , the way a ball of dog shit would make most people dry heave . " And you can 't find Jesus ! " he exclaimed , getting into the joke now , " because he 's dead ! " I could not keep from laughing . Of course he imagined that the task was to try and locate Jesus in person , a la Where 's Waldo ? What on earth would lead him to believe any different ? So I explained that the singers actually meant that they would try to find the spirit of Jesus , but this confused him even more , because of the concept of the Holy Spirit which he doesn 't fully grasp . So I said they were trying to act like Jesus , kind and forgiving and loving and that seemed to make sense to him . " So that part of the dream is not so bad , " I said . " Oh Mommy ! Mommy ! I have a good joke for you ! " cried Primo the other day while we were paying for groceries at the supermarket . " I want to hear it ! " I replied . I really can 't ever say no to either of my kids telling me jokes , no matter no nonsensical , or singing me a song . " There were these three girl sailors and they found a bottle in the ocean . And what should come out of the bottle but a genie ! The first sailor said to the genie , " I want to be wise ! " And the genie said " Poof ! " and made her wise . Then the second sailor said , " I want to be wise , " and then genie said " Poof ! " and made her wise . Then the third sailor said , " I want to be a THOUSAND times as wise as them , " and the genie said " Poof ! " and made her into a BOY ! " He smiled broadly at me , waiting to hear my laugher . " Who told you that joke ? " I asked him , trying hard not to sound mad . " Zoe , " he said . " Zoe ? ? " I asked , " Really ? " " What 's the matter Mommy ? " " Well , " I said , choosing my words carefully , because I know how easily Primo 's feelings get hurt and how much he wants my approval , " Let me ask you a question . Why is that joke funny ? " " Because you can 't be a THOUSAND times more wise than someone ! " he smiled . " Oh , is that what it is ? What do you think the message is ? " " The message is , ' everything in moderation . ' She doesn 't get what she wants because she gets greedy and asks for too much . " The kid has a heart so pure and sweet I hated to even tell him what the real message of the joke was , hated even introducing such a stupid , offensive idea into a head that couldn 't even imagine something so mean . But then I worried that he 'd go around telling this joke to everyone , as he does when he takes a fancy to something , so I told him , " You know what honey , sometimes people like to tell jokes which are insulting and I think that 's one of them . I think the message is that a boy is a thousand times more wise than a girl , and that 's insulting to me , and to your sister and to all girlPosted by Nicole is a parenting writer who contributes essays and articles for magazines like Parenting , Parents , American Baby and Babble . She lives in Brooklyn with three children , one husband and a morbidly obese goldfish . View my complete profile
|
My dearest Abigail , You sat in my lap this evening , holding on to every word coming from my mouth as I relived the night you were born . I enjoy thinking back to that precious night that changed our lives forever . I can still see those big , bright eyes peering into mine for the very first time . It seems like only yesterday . . . I am being completely honest when I say that I can 't believe you are 7 years old . I can 't believe it . I vividly remember being 7 and thinking I was big stuff . . . and now to have a daughter who is that same age is hard to fathom . Looking back over the past year in pictures , I was struck by how much you have grown physically in the past few months . You no longer have any inkling of babyness in your face . . . such a bittersweet milestone . Not only have you grown physically , but intellectually as well . My goodness girl , you are smart ! It amazes me how fast you learn and how much desire you have to cram as much knowledge into your brain . I absolutely love that about you . You are excelling in school and doing above and beyond what most kids your age are doing academically . You love to read and write . . . in fact , one of the only things you requested for Christmas was " lots of books " . You also grew mentally this year . It was a year full of tough questions for you and tough answers for me . " How exactly did I come out of your belly ? " , " Why are some kids mean ? " , and " Why does Nathan have to have mitochondrial disease ? " It was a year of tough revelations in your young life . . . most of which I hoped you would be a lot older before the understanding caught up with you . But like I mentioned , you are so smart and are figuring life issues out a whole lot earlier than I planned or imagined . You are incredibly compassionate in so many ways . You can not stand to see anyone upset and will do everything you can to please those you love . One day this summer as you attended vacation bible school at a local church , you came home with a prayer bracelet you had made with numerous beads signifying those you wanted to keep in your pra6 Nate was released from the hospital today , and he was so happy to come back to his Nana and Pawpaw 's house . In his own words in his hospital bed as he greeted his dad this morning before we left , " I all done here , daddy ! " It amazes me to see his thinking grow regarding dr . appts and hospital visits as he grows older . When we were heading to the hospital , he asked " I gonna be hurt ? " I told him that he would be hurt ( IV insertion ) for just a little bit , but it was only so special medicine would make him feel better . I knew he understood that because he would talk about his IV later as his " medicine " . He hardly moved and only fussed a little when they were inserting his IV , which is always a bad sign with him , as it showcases how sick he truly is . . . but that IV is truly amazing to his body during certain times . Nate did not complain at all about being in the hospital and seemed to completely understand the necessity of the stay . So , we got the release from Kentucky Children 's today , and he was so excited to be reunited with everyone . He took a big nap this afternoon and played like crazy this evening . He is truly doing so much better , and we are so thankful for that . He remains of antibiotics ( WBC count was quite elevated , along with his absolute neutrophils which signifies that he has some infection somewhere ) . Our guess is that this was an infection induced mito crash . His GI motility just isn 't what it used to be , and we are seeing significant changes each time anything stresses his body . But he is doing well now , and we are hopeful that we will enjoy the rest of our Christmas trip without significant adjustment . As Christmas approaches , I ask that you keep two families that are very close to us in your prayers . Alex , our little mito friend is still intubated in the PICU in Houston . . . please keep him and his family in your prayers . And please remember the Knight family , as they are experiencing their first Christmas since Samuel 's death . My heart hurts for these two friends during this time . Nathan is doing much better today . The D10 and Zofran mixture really helped turn things around for him . He was even able to eat some dry cereal and a couple of graham crackers today . The question is still " what happened ? " to make him so sick so fast . We don 't think it is a virus , as he has no fever or diarrhea . However , his WBC was elevated , his liver was a bit enlarged and his bowel sounds were hypoactive ( meaning lower than normal ) . My guess is that his GI system just took a nose dive . We are highly impressed in the doctors here at Kentucky Children 's and their knowledge of mito . The attending today said that Nathan seemed to exhibit a typical mito crash ( as we have seen a few times before , but he hasn 't gone downhill this quickly in a long time ) , and we may not know the exact reason to why his body all of a sudden went into crash mode . They are very kind and considerate here . It always makes you a bit nervous to take your child into a new place where they do not know him and may not know much about his disease , but I could not be more happy with the care my little guy has received here . If the little guy continues to improve and starts drinking on his own ( only had 3 - 4 tiny sips of juice today ) and starts peeing ( only peed once in the last ~ 20 hours ) , he will be released tomorrow . Hopefully this is just a small bump in the road on this trip , and we can all get back to enjoying our extended family this Christmas season . But I , for one , and very thankful that my parents live within a few short miles of a wonderful children 's hospital . . . and so thankful that my little guy seems to be doing a lot better . I knew I said I wouldn 't post on our trip , but I have a couple of sudden prayer requests . . . Please keep our precious mito friend , Alex , in your prayers . He became really sick last night / today and is now intubated in the PICU . Please keep him and his family in your prayers . Also , Nate suddenly got sick tonight . He has felt great since we arrived in Lexington . . . ran around after church tonight playing , and then when we got back to my parent 's house , he started vomiting after a bit . After throwing up 4 times within about 15 minutes and through the zofran we gave him , we knew we needed to take him in for fluids . They got us back quickly , but he continued to vomit numerous times until the IV zofran kicked in . He is being admitted to UK Children 's Hospital . Hopefully he will turn a corner fairly quickly and be released in time to enjoy his grandparents and Christmas . We ended our festivities of the season here with a pajama day at Abby 's school and a huge classroom breakfast for the little guys . Emma and Nate also joined Abby 's class all decked out in warm PJs for the breakfast , and I completely forgot my camera to capture the fun . To round the day out , Emma had school , Nate had therapy , our beloved home health nurse came by to check all our equipment before our long trip , and I spent the rest of the afternoon packing clothes , meds , and the kitchen sink for our cross - country journey to visit family for the holidays . I did receive another call this morning from a doctor in the ENT clinic , and she confirmed what we originally thought . . . the biopsy from Tuesday was inconclusive . I will undergo an additional surgery under anesthesia to remove one of the larger lymphnodes when we return from Kentucky in a couple of weeks . I should know an exact date within the next week . So , this bids you all goodbye for a while . I will have a birthday post for Abby 's 7th birthday on the 28th ( can you believe my baby is going to be 7 ? ? ) , but I do not plan to post any before that date . I do , however , plan to enjoy the company of my parents , siblings , in - laws , nieces and nephews . . . along with those of my husband and little munchkins . I am really looking forward to this extended time of rest and reflection on God 's goodness to our family over this past year . Merry Christmas to each of you . 3 Yesterday was a day packed full of activities for the Ferrell chillins . We started the morning at Abby 's " snow day " at school . Living in the deep south , snow is pretty much a novelty the children see on movies and in pictures of the northern regions . A " snow day " is completely foreign to them . . . they may have a hurricane day every few years that shut down the schools , but snow . . . not so much . This is where Abby 's amazing teacher comes into play ( have I mentioned how much we love her ? ? ) . She created a " snow day " for the kids by transforming the classroom into a make - shift winter wonderland , complete with hanging snowflakes , a construction paper fireplace , and a place to make snow angels in craft snow . The entire day was built around the snowy theme . They had snowball fights with crumpled paper , ate their very own snowballs ( powdered donuts and marshmallows ) , made hot chocolate , ate snow cream ( shaved ice , condensed milk , and vanilla ) , and constructed their very own ice sculptures ( from marshmallows and toothpicks ) . It was a day that I know all the kids will remember for a very long time . Directly after helping out with Abby 's snow day , I met Jay and Nate down the skreet a little for Emma 's preschool Christmas production . It was absolutely adorable seeing all the pre - k kiddos sing their songs . We then joined the rest of the parents in the room for some cake while our little munchkins gave us bags of gifts they have been creating the past few weeks . It was such a special time , and Emma was beyond excited to finally be able to show us what she has been trying so hard to keep secret lately . My favorite was a special little bread cloth that showcased her handprints . . . I just love those things to look back on as they grow bigger . A few hours later , we let the kids open their Christmas gifts from us . Since we are leaving Saturday morning , we decided to let them open their presents a bit early so they can have some play time with them before our big trip . This was the first year that everyone was old enough to " get it " when it ca4 I sat in the waiting room reading " Choosing to See " by Mary Beth Chapman . It was a bit eerie how much her words mirrored my own life in certain ways . In her book , she talks about how she had certain expectations of how her life would weave into the way she had perfected it in her mind . Only , her life turned out to be nothing like she had previously envisioned . It was hard and heartbreaking and exhilarating all at different times . . . it was so much more difficult and yet so much more rewarding than she had imagined . It was rattled with trial after trial . And in these trials , she and her family grew in amazing ways . I found myself relating in so many ways to her words . . . all while I was facing another trial to shake up our family . . . I have always been open and honest about Nathan 's medical struggles , and I have reached the point where I feel that I should be open about my own recent medical issues . As mothers , we tend to undermine our own struggles and wait until the last minute to take care of ourselves . . . it 's part of being a mother . We tend to worry about our children and put our own issues on the back burner . We also tend to hide our struggles , as not to cause worry to those we love . It is with that disclaimer that I apologize to anyone who may be offended that I did not share the following information with them previously . . . About mid - summer , I had a lymphnode pop up at the base of my hairline . I often have lymphnodes pop up with illnesses and infections , but this one was different . It was really hard and fixed , meaning it was not movable . In dealing with Nathan 's chronically swollen lymphnodes , I know what is okay for lymphnode to feel like . . . and what is not okay . My new little node was not okay . However , it was an isolated finding , so I ignored it . About 3 months ago , I had 2 new and larger lymphnodes pop up on the opposite part of my head . . . again , hard and fixed . All three swollen nodes are occipital nodes . I also started getting pretty intense headaches originating in the back of my head . I was a little more conce23 The little man of the house has been holding his own lately . We have been trying so desperately to keep him well for our upcoming trip to Kentucky . This trip is tough on him to begin with , so we are hoping to start on a good note . We have recently added a new med to his daily mix . . . L - Arginine . Over the past 8 months or so , Nate has been struggling with high ammonia levels that make him feel horrible . Shortly after he turned 2 , we started noticing a dramatic difference in his personality and behavior . Some days he would be our sweet little Nafey boy , and other days he would be a rude and cantakerous little monster . I figured that the terrible twos were just extra hard on him . However , this past spring he also started sleeping so much more and just laying around when he was awake . He would go through times where he just had no energy and preferred to lay down and watch everyone play around him . It was so difficult to see him like this . We knew something wasn 't right , but mito is an energy deficient disease . . . and when you aren 't quite sure what is causing certain symptoms , you just chalk it all up to mito . But I knew it was something more . . . something had definitely changed . Around this same time , his stool started to take on a noxious chemical odor . I had to bleach the bathroom several times just to get rid of the lingering fumes that the little guy was expelling . At times , it smelled like someone had knocked over a bottle of cleaning fluid somewhere . It was ( and still is at times ) absolutely noxious . Our docs here had no idea what it could be but said it was definitely " something metabolic " . Dr . K in Houston said that it was definitely ammonia . His blood test showed that his ammonia level was quite elevated once again ( it has been mild to moderately high in his labs for 6 months ) , and she started him on L - Arginine . Ammonia forms when protein is broken down in the gut . The liver then turns the ammonia into urea to be excreted in urine . Unfortunately for Nathan , sometime over the past year ( I 'm suspecting after he was so3 When I was little , I wanted to be a mommy when I grew up . I also wanted to be an Elementary School Teacher and a Pediatrician . As amazing as it seems , the Lord has blessed me with all three " jobs " . I am a mother . I am a teacher to the children who look up to me for guidance . And I am a doctor to a little boy who requires continuous medical care . With ambitious goals my entire life , I have had a hard time sitting still in one position for too long . My hands require constant work . Boredom and laziness has always been my fear , so I have required myself to stay busy throughout my work as a wife and a mother . Computer work came easy after the housework was finished , but photography was my passion . I was intent to capture each and every moment I wanted to memorize with a still picture . With much reading and studying , photography came a bit more natural to me . I adored capturing moments in time , and I likewise adored helping others capture their family memories in photographs as well . My photography turned into a semi - business . . . And then Nathan was born . I do not have to explain how much work it takes raising a child with special needs . I know that you can imagine that on your own . But add that into the mix of raising 2 precious girls who love school , soccer , ballet , play dates , and anything that correlates with the previous mentioned . . . indeed , my life is full . My dreams as a child have been fulfilled . I am a mother . I am a teacher . I am a doctor . However , I can not be a photographer anymore . That just doesn 't fit into the mix that is our life at this moment . So as of this moment , I will not take anymore photo sessions for an undisclosed time . My photography website will be erased in time , as it is a bit expensive to keep . I do , however , wish to continue our Photos for Mito fundraiser each fall , as this brings forth a good amount of money for a disease that affects our family so much . But for all else , I apologize . . . As a mother , I believe it is healthy to admit to others when you are not able to keep up with your duties . . . ancomments We had a wonderful time in Tampa this past weekend . My dad flew in from Kentucky to preach the meeting at El Bethel , and it was so good to see him . He recently made a lengthy trip to Africa , and it was so wonderful to hear his stories and experiences from that land . We usually go many months without seeing family , so it is so nice to say " see you in 2 weeks " when saying goodbye . We also had the great privilege of staying with my grandparents , who live a little outside Tampa . . . Plant City , to be exact . . . you may see their little town on the news these days as the farmers try so desperately to save their strawberries from this freeze snap by watering them each night to put a protective layer of ice around them . Anywhoooo , living in South Georgia as a kiddo , we would make the 6 hour trek down to my grandparents ' house quite a few times throughout the year . I have copious amounts of memories climbing trees with my cousins , running along the huge empty cable spools my grandfather brought home from his job as a lineman , eating fried eggs , toast and homemade strawberry jelly every morning , and catching lizards and attaching the cute little reptiles to our ears , nose , and lips . Being at my grandparents ' house was always full of fun and adventure growing up . But this time was different . Long gone are the days when we would spend numerous hours catching lizards . . . time is just much too precious now . With my grandfather about to turn 80 , I have realized that time with them may not be as infinite as I once thought as a child . . . and I have also realized that I don 't know much about my grandparents . Growing up , I always heard bits and pieces of stories here and there , but I have suddenly had the urgency to hear these stories and more from the mouths of Papa J and Grandma Bea . So for the past couple of visits , I have tried to ask as many questions as I can in order to hear as much about their childhood , marriage , young life , middle age , and now . In doing so , I have so many amazing stories stored away in my head . . . stories about my grandcomments This time of year is crazy for most of us . I feel like my days are currently filled planning around Christmas gatherings and school functions , while trying desperately to finish my own shopping and work amidst finishing picture orders and Christmas cards for others . When I get one thing accomplished , I suddenly remember yet another thing to add to my list . It 's pure craziness . . . but it also makes the Christmas holidays so much sweeter . . . time away from computer work , shopping , and hustle - bustle and more time with family . . . lots of time with family . More time for snuggles , laughter , and memories being made . I look forward to that in the upcoming few weeks ! In the mean time , this is a snippet of what it looks like when we do spend good quality time together . We definitely may not be your average family . . . Make video montages at www . OneTrueMedia . com First off , it was definitely a first that my husband offered to put Christmas lights on the house , and it was a first that I actually shopped for the needed equipment . Then it was a first the when he hopped onto the roof of our house , he also offered a hand to our 2 daughters . . . a first that aged me about 10 years and gave me multiple times of prayer with God . For in my eyes , I could totally " see " one of our kiddos losing their footing and plummeting 15 feet to their state of paralysis . My dear husband , on the other hand , could see that it was a wonderful " experience " for them . Ppshaw . Seriously ? We are going to leave them at be ? Thankfully ( as according to their mother ) , the 2 oldest kiddos grew rather bored with having to stay put on their part of the roof and asked to get down within just a few minutes . And then the dear husband continued his endeavor of the yearly adventure known as " risking your own life " while putting on Christmas lights . It was the first time in 10 years of our marriage that lights have donned the outer part of our home . . . and we are all very happy . Thanks sweet pea . . . you are the best ( even though we totally need to fix that upper part of the roof ) ! ! 1 comments
|
Hi all , It 's almost noon on Saturday and I 'm back at Dino HQ , working on the home desktop and , all things considered , feeling pretty good . I checked out of the hospital yesterday afternoon and was given a variety of medications to help control my pain . So far , I have no complaints - - there is the usual stomach discomfort from the incisions , but nothing is too overbearing , and my home bed and all its attendant pillows were quite a bit more comfortable than the hospital bed . Last night I turned the lights out at 9 PM , and dragged myself out of bed at 8 : 30 this morning . No , I didn 't sleep soundly the entire time - - there was lots of intermittent dozing , occasional forays to the bathroom , and periods of trying to find a real comfortable sleeping position - - but overall , it was far more rest than I 've had in the last week . I expect that to get better on a nightly basis as the pain subsides and I get used to being in the home environment . As I wrote last week when I came home from the hospital the first time around , there is definitely a culture shock in moving from the hospital to home , especially when you factor in the drugs I 'm taking and some of their side effects ( in this case , general drowsiness and a decrease in lucidity ) . After a week of constant interruptions day and night , you come to expect these sorts of things and when they don 't happen , as was the case last night , the groggy mind tends to ask itself " wait a sec - - how come nobody 's busted into my room in the last hour to check my pulse ? " Like everything else associated with my recovery , this too shall pass . This morning I brushed my teeth and shaved my face clean . My head of hair is far too long now , especially given how thin my face has become , and I 'm going to have my mom give me a severe haircut tomorrow when she comes back up . ( Back in the day , when bowl cuts were all the rage , she used to cut my hair on a regular basis . That ended around 1984 , when I finally figured out that it wasn 't 1975 anymore . ) Once chemo begins , I 'm going to shave my pate completePosted by Sorry about the lack of posting but I 've been a bit out of it the last two days as the Alta Bates doctors have struggled to come up with an adequate level of medication for my pain - - either it 's too much or too little , but it 's been tough finding that " sweet spot . " For the most part , the various medications I 'm on are doing a decent job of dulling the pain , but it 's still there . I 'm not sure if it 's ever going to completely go away until I 'm healed , though , so maybe it 's supposed to sort of always be there . Life tends to be best just after I get a shot of dilaudid , but when that wears off , the pain comes back . Yesterday my pain doc upped both the available frequency and the dosage of dilaudid in pill form , so in my eagerness to control the pain , I had a shot and three pills at 11 AM and then again at 1 PM . Shortly thereafter , I was a groggy mess - - definitely too much medication . Whoops . I gave it several hours before taking anything again so I could get my mind and body back under control . So , here it is Thursday mid - day and I 've received several texts and emails asking if I 'm okay , since the blog has been out of commission . Thanks for the concern - - I 'm here and I 'm fine , and in the " Best News of the Day " Dept . , it looks like they are going to send me home tomorrow with two new pain med prescriptions . The thought of my own bed and some unimpeded rest is tantalizing . See , as I 've written before , hospitals are not a place for people to actually sleep . There are a variety of reasons for this ; for me personally , one is that since I 've been here at Alta Bates , I 've been on constant IV drip nutrients . The good side of this is that I 've gained a little weight - - you can see it in my face and feel it in my gut . The downside is twofold : a ) it suppresses my appetite ( so I haven 't eaten much since I 've been here ) - - but more importantly 2 ) it keeps me constantly hydrated and constantly having to relieve myself . We 're talking multiple times an hour here . Ergo , do the math : it 's impossible for me to sleep for any large stretchPosted by And now , some thoughts on the amazing putridity that is TV . Having spent close to three full weeks in the hospital over the past month , I 've had ample opportunity to watch more than my fair share of television during this time . Frankly , there 's not much else to do besides read , and I 've done some of that as well , but since I 've been on painkilling drugs that alter my lucidity much of the time , watching TV is the easiest and most brainless pastime there is at the moment . Despite the presence of my 50 " high - def TV at home , I actually don 't watch that much TV in my free time ( this whole hospital thing excluded , of course ) , so while I was vaguely aware of the pathetic state of the boob tube , I had no idea as to the extent of just how ridiculous the whole thing really is . From the programming to the commercials , it 's hard to accurately summarize in words just how much complete crap there is on TV , but I 'm in a saucy mood , so I 'll give it a go . First off , put yourself in my shoes for a moment . You 're facing a life - threatening disease and while you have all confidence that you 'll win the battle and enjoy a long and prosperous life , you need to always keep your mind focused on positive thoughts and concepts . Meanwhile , you 're receiving a constant flow of painkilling drugs that slightly alters your perception of what you see and hear , amplifying the extremes of the emotional spectrum . Ergo , the highs get higher and the lows get lower , and anything with a negative connotation has a more severe effect than usual . Now that you know a bit more about where I 'm coming from , here 's what I 've learned by watching the 20ish available channels ( ESPN not being among them ) here at Alta Bates over the last three days , as well as the 25ish channels I had at Stanford before that : * Over two million customers have switched their phone service to Vonage . I know this because a smug woman tells me so in the same commercial three times an hour , regardless of which channel I happen to be on . Discovery Channel , Food Network , whatever - - the same comPosted by Hi all , It 's Sunday afternoon and I 'm looking out at the Oakland hills from my hospital room at Alta Bates , awaiting a shot of dilaudid ( a stronger form of Sister Mo ) that will be coming my way in about 10 minutes . I 've been here since early Friday morning , when I went to the ER for pain control . The pain pills I had at home simply were not doing the job and I woke up just after midnight on Friday in pretty good pain . They checked me into the hospital in order to get me on a pain control protocol , so for the past three days , I 've been on a combo of dilaudid shots , pills and now a patch attached to my skin that will gradually help get the pain under control in the next few days . I 'm not thrilled to be here , but aside from the absolute suckiness of the TV ( unbelievably , they don 't get ESPN , so I missed today 's Italy - Spain soccer game - - although from everything I 've read , I actually didn 't miss much , as it was a dull game and Italy deserved to lose ) , things aren 't that bad . I have my own room , the setup is reasonably comfortable , the view is nice , and most importantly , my stomach pain is being handled in a way that simply would be impossible if I was back at home . The fact is , the pain isn 't excruciating , but it 's bad enough that it needs more direct attention ( as in , through direct injection ) than I could get at home . Also , while all my vitals are great , my white - cell count is running just a tad high , so they have me on antibiotics just in case I have a minor infection somewhere . From what I 've been told , both the pain issue ( obviously ! ) and the infection issue are not uncommon after major surgeries , so at the moment , the situation is not a cause for worry - - it 's just an annoyance more than anything else . So , it 's been a long , lazy weekend and the doctors will re - assess my situation tomorrow . The initial guess from the on - call doc today was that it will be at least two or three days before I head home , so I can expect to be here until Tuesday if not later . If I was still sharing a room with someone at Stanford , this nPosted by Back in the hospital for Dino after a lousy night . Early this morning , his mother took him to the emergency room at Alta Bates in Oakland after he woke up ( for the second night in a row ) with a severe pain in his right side . They did a CT scan and blood test and , at the very least , want to keep him overnight . The blood work showed a minimal possibility of pancreatitis ( for which they can give him an antibiotic , but they aren 't doing so yet ) and the scan showed a small amount of water on the outside of his right lung ( typical of this type of surgery and possibly the cause of the pain ) . At any rate , while he 's not happy to be back in the hospital , he is happy that he 's got Sister Mo again . His level of pain is more or less consistently around a " 3 " , so it 's not terribly elevated , but he told me he was frustrated , which we can all understand . He continues , of course , to keep the faith ( hasn 't let down one iota in that area ) , so let 's see if this thing will settle down and we can get him back home tomorrow or Sunday . Can 't tell if it 's just a bump in the road - maybe this is a somewhat typical post - op response ? As usual , we luv ya for all your good thoughts - our man is powering on . Dick Scoppettone ( Dino 's dad ) Hi all , It 's Wednesday afternoon and I 'm biding my time until I get to take my next painkiller pill . The pain isn 't overly brutal but it 's noticeable and unless I can find the right position in which to sit or lie down , it 's constantly there . I get to take a pill every four hours and right now there 's about 30 minutes to go before the next one might bring some relief for a while . So I 'm mostly settled in at home and mom is out running a few errands . I did get some sleep last night - - not the whole night by any stretch , but short patches here and there , and that whole process will get easier as time goes on . This morning , I washed my arms and legs - - there 's still a lot of tape residue on my arms and my mom is going to grab some baby oil as suggested by Francesca in the comments to my last post - - washed my hair , brushed the teeth and shaved . Then I stood back for a good look in the mirror . The face and body staring back are very unfamiliar . I 've lost a ton of weight and my face is now very gaunt and ( I never thought I would ever say this ! ) far too thin . Someone posted a picture of me on Facebook from when I wasn 't too far from weighing 200 pounds and my face was really chubby , with chipmunk cheeks - - well , that was 40 pounds ago . My cheekbones really stand out now , and I almost feel like my eyes are bugging out of my head . It 's very odd to look at myself like this and I 'm looking forward to the return of my appetite and the process of putting on some pounds ( which are going to come right back off once chemo starts ) , but right now , I 'm struggling to eat a lot of food . I know that this , too , shall pass , and once again the bells will ring in the town squares and the criers will joyously sing to the masses " Yea , verily , he returneth again to the Tacoe Belle for the fifth time this week ! " As for my body , well , it 's a mess . Since reaching adulthood , I 've gone through phases where I could reasonably be described as " stocky , " " chubby , " " packing a few extra pounds , " and " boy howdy , try mixing in a salad every now and then , manPosted by What a glorious day . The Italians made it through to the knockout rounds of the European soccer tournament by beating France 2 - 0 ( and all thanks to the Dutch , who beat Romania to uphold their end of the deal ) . Meanwhile , Coldplay released its new album today , and I 'm anxious to go pick it up . And , oh yeah - - I 'm home . All the tubes , wires and IVs are out of my body . There 's just a couple bandages remaining , and those I can take off in a day or two . Now , I really need to wash my hair and get all the tape and bandage residue off both my arms - - I 'll get to that later this evening . For the moment , I 'm relaxing in relative peace and quiet . It 's a bit of a system shock , to be honest , after 13 days of the unending hustle and bustle of the hospital . It 's great to be home . I 'll write more tomorrow when I 'm more settled . Until then , Viva La Vida , Forza Azzurri , and all that good stuff . With much love , Dino Hi all , It 's now been a week since the surgery , and I 've just had my best day yet . The pain is reasonably under control most of the time , my bodily functions appear to be returning to normal ( although I 'm having to pull a # 1 all the time , which is completely normal , as my body is purging fluids that had built up through all the IV activity ) , and while I 'm still tired , I think that 's more a function of being in a hospital . This morning , they started me on a solid diet . No chalupas just yet , but I 've picked my way through a couple meals so far as I begin to build up an appetite . And then , this afternoon , my docs made the rounds , considered my progress , and said that there 's a good chance I can go home tomorrow . Ultimately , I would guess that unless there 's a deal - breaker ( some sort of random fever or infection or other bodily issue that 's askew ) , I 'll be heading back up to the Oaktown tomorrow afternoon - - not a moment too soon . I 'm going to try to not get too excited for now , but if this is my last night down here ( at least until chemo starts ) , then I 'm all for it . I got a lot of sleep last night as I had no roommate for the evening , but they moved someone else in as my neighbor this afternoon and while he doesn 't sound very vocal or in too much pain ( so far ) , the comfort of my own room , own bed and an 8 - hour night of uninterrupted sleep is at the fore of my mind . So - - that 's the latest . I 'm gonna head back now , eat dinner and watch some TV . I 'll let you know if tomorrow is indeed check - out day as soon as I know - - although given the speed at which some things move around here in terms of admissions and discharges , I could very well be at my home computer before getting the chance to update the blog . I hope everyone is well and send your positive thoughts and prayers that tonight is indeed my last night in the hospital ! With much love , Dino Hi all , I just meandered down to the computers from my room . About an hour ago , they capped my IV ( while still leaving it in my arm in order to dispense various medications ) , which means I don 't have to drag the big IV module around with me everywhere . This means that I 'm a lot more mobile now , which is good , because my bodily functions are waking back up and challenging me to get to certain places ( like the restroom ) within a certain amount of time . This is what we call the " not fun part of recovery . " Actually , pretty much the whole shebang falls under the " not fun part of recovery " header , but I 'll get more into depth on that whole thing as more of my energy returns . In fact , if I find something that could be described as " the fun part of recovery , " I 'll let you know immediately . Don 't hold your breath waiting for that , though . Sadly , the fact that I no longer have my trusty IV module to dispense fluids and meds means that I have to bid adieu to my constant companion , Sister Mo . If my pain gets bad enough , they can still dispense the Good Sister directly into my IV ( like they did during the first day of my hospitalization , pre - surgery ) , but the wonderful ' pain button ' and the instant dispensation of medication is gone . I 'll be on pills moving forward unless there is an acute attack of pain . Or unless I fake an acute attack of pain . . . not that I would do that . Blessedly , things really aren 't that bad . Yes , there is a constant dull pain in my stomach where the surgery was , but many times , I find myself feeling only a minimal amount of discomfort . Any physical activity exacerbates the issue , but I 'll just have to deal with that moving forward as part of my physical rehab . Otherwise , my body is beginning to feel more and more ' normal ' as it takes less and less effort to do the things we always take for granted ( getting into and out of bed , moving around in bed , walking , sitting up , etc . ) . Still a long ways to go , but there 's a marked difference between today and , say , Wednesday . The schedule is light today and I 'm goingPosted by to introduce . . . myself . Dino here , writing from the cyber cafe around the corner from my block of rooms . It took me seven minutes to walk here when it would take a healthy person about 25 seconds , but I did so by myself , and that 's a huge victory . My dad is correct in his previous post - - most of the big painful tubes are now gone , and I 'm left with one stomach filter type of thing , and an IV drip in my arm . On Tuesday ( which seems like yesterday ) I was a complete mess , tubes everywhere , but the nose breathing tube and the neck IV came out yesterday , and the chest tube and catheter were removed this morning . It was a mixture of both pain and relief to get those out . I 'm much more mobile now , at the very least . My two loving parents have been coming up each day and have noted the progress from Tuesday morning 's horrific Hopalong Cassidy 's Cavalcade O ' Tubes to today 's " Hey , he looks pretty close to normal , albeit 30 pounds lighter ! " Although of course this afternoon my mom commented that part of my stomach had still retained a little chub , so maybe it wasn 't all Kuato 's doing . I 'm marking my progress incrementally and although there has been , and will still be , a lot of pain in the rehab process , each day is better than the last . My folks print out all the blog comments and I continue to get every text , voicemail , comment , email , etc . from my amazing group of support . Your continual positive push is keeping me ahead of schedule on my rehab , I truly believe that . The doctors are constantly reinforcing that I 'm young and healthy , and I am definitely ahead of track on when tubes normally should be removed , food re - implemented , etc . There have been several queries about visiting and as my dad noted , as much as I 'd love to see each and every one of you , this weekend is probably going to be pretty light with family only . I expect that next week it will become easier for me to say yes to any requests to come down to Stanford to visit . Dr . Jacobs came by with the path notes this evening . She said the tumor board has determined Posted by What a pleasant surprise to walk in this morning and find Dino , sans tubes , sitting up in a chair watching the U . S . Open . They 've pretty much removed all evidence of hospital - type hookups except for the standard drip line . He had been up walking earlier and now was talking in sentences ( though not long - winded ) . So , what a difference a day makes . Nothing new on the biopsy results front - Dr . Jacobs had not come in by the time I left , so probably Monday . What 's the rush anyway ? He 's finally starting to look normal . As we watched Tiger move through the front nine , I glanced over and he was out like a light , mouth wide open , having the best sleep of his life . I actually haven 't seen him fully asleep in over two weeks - so , as we cruise into the weekend , life is good for all of us and we hope for you too . Dick Scoppettone ( Dino 's dad ) Today , some improvement . He got the tubes out of his nose and the main lines removed from his neck - and he actually got up and sat in a chair for a bit . So there 's progress , albeit in tiny steps . You and I already know this is to be expected - my guess is that we 're at least five to seven days away from being able to announce , " Heeeeere 's Dino ! " He 's still communicating in one - word sentences , pretty much a whisper , and Mary and I have yet to totally understand his whacky sign language . Nonetheless , I was really beginning to feel like the indispensible Dad today when he interrupted my reading with a forced " Dah . . . Dah " . I jumped from my seat , instantly available , ready to serve . As I pressed close to his mouth , it wasn 't " D a a a a d " that he was whispering , it was . . . fan . He just wanted the fan turned more toward his feet . So much for dear old Dad coming to the rescue . You have to laugh . We 're hoping for some biopsy results tomorrow so Dr . Jacobs can determine the next course of action , probably chemo . And I asked Dino about visitors for this weekend . He said no . Even with his level of pain , he 's still making the right calls . So stay tuned - our man is climbing the mountain again , and it won 't be long . Dick Scoppettone ( Dino 's dad ) They moved Dino from ICU back to a regular room around noon today and I think they may have him on something other than morphine because he seemed somewhat woozy . His pain has dropped a bit ( yesterday 7 , today 5 - 6 ) , but today was the doldrums - slow , not much in the way of anxiety , more like " when is this all going to be over ? " Dr . Norton was in early this morning ( no new news ) just checking on his patient . I don 't think Dean 's quite ready to be pecking away at his own blog yet . Maybe by Friday , maybe the weekend . Mary printed the last several days worth of blogs and comments for him which he read and said , " Tell everyone thanks and I love ' em . " So - another day in the slow evolution of recovery ; some days are diamonds , some days are stone . BUT WE ' RE GETTING THERE ! Dick Scoppettone ( Dino 's dad ) Dino is awake and talking , though ever so quietly . The expected contingent of tubes and wires and blinking monitors is there , but not in a scary way . The ICU is pleasantly calm and his nurses are totally tuned in to him . The pain ? He says it 's about a 7 and he has his trusty Sister Mo button pusher , now set to activate every ten minutes . So the recovery begins . We caught his surgeon , Dr . Norton out in the hall and he expanded on what he had told us yesterday . They got all of the tumor , but there are a number of small spots that have metasasized - to what extent we don 't know . The doctor reiterated that chemotherapy is the next order of business , but that won 't begin until he 's healed from the surgery . We do know that the surgeon also removed a small portion of his liver , his right adrenals and right kidney , and a portion of his right colon ( though there is no need for a colostomy ) . Dr . Norton was actually upbeat about the limited reduction of these organs , saying that it would not materially affect his lifestyle . Once Dino is readmitted to a regular hospital room , probably tomorrow , we should be hearing more from Dr . Jacobs ( who will be supervising the chemotherapy treatment ) as to the overall plan . Are we out of the woods yet ? I think so , but I can 't say for sure - mainly because we haven 't gotten all the facts from all the players . As much as we want to seek out every answer from every doctor , that 's not the format this story is following . Dino hasn 't lost his positive posture , nor have we . But we 're in a slightly different mode at the moment here in the ICU and this is more of a time of peace and comfort and - trust . I must tell you something . Several weeks ago , when we first came to Stanford and were so thoroughly energized by their immediate " take charge " response , I had a bit of a unique revelation ( and these things rarely come to me ) . We had been hearing from so many people who were focusing on Dino , so many prayer groups who had ramped up the troops , so much thought energy circling around my son . We were in Posted by It 's Mon . , 5 : 50PM , and we just talked to Dino 's surgeon , Dr . Norton . Kuato is now history ( all 30 pounds of him ! ) Dino went in at 10 : 30AM this morning so the whole surgery took about 7 hours . We won 't be able to see him tonight - the doctor said he 'll probably be out for at least 24 hours . I don 't have a lot of specific info because we only had a short visit with the surgeon . By tomorrow morning , I assume that we will have talked to Dr . Charlotte Jacobs , the oncologist who is overseeing this whole thing . Suffice it to say , we all just exhaled - and life at this moment is very good . I promise that by tomorrow I 'll have plenty of info for all of you wonderful friends . As soon as I hear it , I 'll pass it on to you . The only specifics right now are that , while they got all of the tumor , there were several areas that will require chemo because they didn 't want to radiate them . My sense is that Dino is out of rough water and on his way to a healthy recovery . So - let 's regroup tomorrow . Until then , we love each and every one of you . Dick Scoppettone ( Dino 's dad ) . . . would definitely not be a phrase used to discuss my stay in the hospital thus far , but it describes this post pretty accurately : my chest CAT scan came up clear this morning so we 're good to go for a Monday surgery , assuming there are no last - minute developments in scheduling or medical issues . If something arises , we 'll get switched again , but it 's looking hopeful . This will probably be my last blog post before surgery , so please keep all the prayers , love and positive thoughts focused in my direction tomorrow , and my dad will update the blog once I 'm off the table and into Intensive Care . My love to all of you . We 're gonna get this thing gone ! Dino Hi all , Not much more to update but since I 've been moved to a new room right down the hall from the computer room , and since I need the exercise , I thought I 'd post a quick note . Finding a comfortable position in which to sit / lie down is next to impossible but this , too , shall pass . Other than the huge lump in my belly - - which , to be fair , is causing a few problems - - everything else feels pretty good . I have a lot more energy this afternoon than I did during my update this morning and I know that while the next two - plus days are going to take a while , I 'll get through it . My big Sister Mo is here to help see to that ! : ) So , just a short note letting you know that I 'm doing fine . For the umpteenth time , I am still reading my emails and texts , and getting all my phone messages . Your constant love and support is such a major aspect of this fight and I can 't tell you enough how much it means to me . As always , just know that if I don 't get back to you , it doesn 't mean I didn 't get the message . I 'm gonna guess that it could be two - three weeks before I can even begin to touch base with everyone that has contacted me during this time . I 've received like 20 + texts in the last 24 hours alone , which officially makes me the most popular person writing for this blog . The weather 's gonna be great , so enjoy the weekend ! I 'll try to write more when I have the chance , but please don 't assume anything if you don 't see any updates . Have fun in the sun , and let 's get ready for Monday ! With much love as always , Dino Hi all , Dino here . It 's almost 6 : 30 AM and I 've been up for an hour after actually getting 4 - 5 hours worth of sleep ( more than in any of the past 3 nights ) . Tough to type as I have an electrode sensor attached to my left index finger , but I 'll deal for a moment . I have read all your comments and got all your emails and calls and texts . Thanks again for being such an amazing support system . Kuato has three ( interminably long ) days left in his ugly and thankfully short existence and like you , I will be counting the hours ( literally ) until Monday morning . I have actually gone the last 10 hours without a shot of morphine ( or Sister Mo , as I prefer to call it ) and did okay in the sleep department , although my stomach is pretty huge , distended and painful . Save the jokes about how " it 's always been that way ! " - - this is really a different story . I can 't wait to get this cancer out of me . . . now it 's just biding time and managing pain until Monday morning . Rest assured I will get back on the morphine train shortly - - I just want to try to keep the urge for constant self - medication under control so that it doesn 't get out of hand by Sunday night . Also , I 'm finding that while it 's really easy to ' space out ' on the Sister Mo , it 's hard for me to actually sleep when I 'm riding that wave . Thus , no morphine over last night . Anyway - - I know that some of you will be interested in calling and / or visiting over the weekend , and while I thank you for that , I should tell you that you should probably wait until the surgery is over before you come by . My stomach and breathing pain is such that I can 't talk much and I spend most of my time conserving my energy , just trying to get comfortable . So , the visitors that I will have this weekend ( mostly family ) already know that I won 't be real good company . My suggestion to the rest of y ' alls is to hold off until Wednesday or later , when I am in recovery , before coming to visit if possible . Well , it took a good bit of effort to walk down to this computer room , so I don 't know whether or not I 'll coPosted by Dino 's medical team decided today that since there is no pending emergency , Monday is the best day for surgery . By late this afternoon , the lead surgeon , Dr . Norton had already performed four surgeries , and with an eye to having the team totally alert and fully prepared , Monday got the nod . This also will allow Dr . Norton to have his top people available . For most of the day , there was a mini - crowd gathered in Dino 's room ( his mom , Mary , my wife , MiMi , his brothers Nick and Amber and Chris and Virginia , his Aunt Anita , and a very special friend , Dr . Lou Zwerling who made the call that got Dino into Stanford ) . When our man , waiting all day on an empty stomach , was notified of the postponement , he was also cleared of any dietary restrictions and din - din quickly became the priority topic . I expect he 'll entertain visitors this weekend , but since they armed him with a morphine pump , callers and drop - ins can probably expect an affable stare , but certainly no tap dancing or hospital bed races . I found a computer room he can use - whether he 'll be up for resuming his blog right now , I don 't know . I 'm just a messenger - we 'd all rather have our leader speaking to us again . And , as has been the case all along , your vibes are coming through loud and clear . Thankyou , thankyou , thankyou . For today . . . Dick Scoppettone ( Dino 's dad ) Well , we made it to Stanford . Dino is in and settled after being admitted this afternoon . Along with a welcome dose of morphine , he got the necessary cat scan we 've all been waiting for , and though it hadn 't been fully reviewed by the time we left the hospital this evening , it 's possible he could be scheduled for surgery tomorrow ( Thursday ) . We know the surgery is major ( probably eight hours with prep ) and because Stanford is so wonderfully thorough , they 're trying to determine if they want a separate vascular team available ( and said team may already be booked for another patient tomorrow ) . So , if not tomorrow , possibly Friday , but at least Dino is now safe and secure in the hospital that he ( and all of us ) wanted . And his pain is being effectively managed . I 'll keep this short , first because this is Dino 's blog and I want the master back in front of his keyboard ASAP , and second because it 's late and tomorrow may be a very long day . I 'll keep you posted every step of the way ( that is , as soon as I can get to a computer , probably in the evenings ) . The assistant to Dr . Norton ( Dino 's surgeon ) says we can probably expect about a five - day stay so let 's wrap it up for tonight by saying that Dino is , as usual , leading the charge . He 's very up , very positive , is looking really well ( except for the Kuato bulge ) and feels the wonder of all your good thoughts coming his way . We all love you . Until tomorrow . . . Dick Scoppettone ( Dino 's dad ) Hi folks , After spending far , FAR too long haggling with the insurance company and the medical group , I 'm headed to the Stanford ER this morning to check myself in ( with the assistance of my parents ) so we can get surgery done as soon as possible . I don 't know how long I 'll be down at Stanford but please direct all your positive prayer and energy in that direction . I 'll let everyone know when I 'm out of the hospital and back home ( or at one of my parents ' homes ) . There have been many kind offers of help and I thank you all for that . Stanford care cannot be covered by my HMO insurance - - for some reason it took the medical group several business days to impart that bottom line to me - - but we 'll figure out the expense situation later . In the meantime , the only focus is to get tested , operated upon , and set up a treatment protocol with the experts at Stanford so I can get most of this cancer removed quickly and figure out how they can attack the remainder of it . It 's going to be complicated but with the experts running the show , and everyone else providing many different forms of support , I 'm nothing short of 100 % confident that I will beat this thing . That 's all for now . Next update will come when I 'm out of surgery and sober enough to write . Until then , good health to all of you and keep the positive thoughts and prayers flowing my way ! With much love , Dino Hi fellow readers - - I 'm gonna let you know up front that this one 's not gonna be all roses and chocolates . First things first : we 're making progress on the insurance angle and the nurse advocate for us has given us a couple options to work with here . Apparently the main sticking point ( and this sure would have been nice to know oh , say , a week ago or something ) is that Alta Bates simply cannot refer people to Stanford . It 's not in their network ; they have no connection . There are no ties there . They simply would never have referred me there for any sort of second opinion . The nurse advocate , a very nice woman named Barbara , is working hard to find compromise solutions here and we expect more phone calls , referrals and movement to happen this morning , once she gets in the office around 9 . ( I cannot believe how long this is taking me to type , but I 'm coming off 3 MG of Xanax . More on that in a moment . I 'm hitting backspace and correcting my spelling literally once every 2 - 3 seconds . ) She 's basically suggested two options : one , let the Alta Bates docs make a self - assessment on whether they can handle my case and if they can 't , they 'll refer me to UCSF , which is a very fine cancer facility in its own right . I 'm okay with that , so long as the UCSF referral , consultation and treatment don 't take too long . Two , we try mid - stream here to change my medical group from Alta Bates to one that DOES have ties with Stanford . Barbara will be calling this morning to discuss the viability of this . If it can happen , then I 'll get a new GP with the new group who will refer me directly to Stanford , and we eliminate most of the rest of the hoops and get this thing going . So , we 'll find out this morning which direction we 'll go . In the meantime , my pain is growing . This morning I 'm feeling okay at best , but that probably is more attributable to the huge dose of Xanax I took last night just to get to sleep . There are very few positions left on the couch that are comfortable for me . I fell asleep sitting up and eventually migrated to my side , Posted by The weekend has come and gone without any news on the medical or insurance front , which is to be expected . I don 't work Saturdays , many of you don 't work Saturdays , and most doctors don 't work Saturdays - - nor do Alta Bates administrators who need to make final decisions about how to handle the treatment of their patients who have life - threatening illnesses . Everybody 's got to have a couple days at the end of the week to relax , maybe play some golf , or watch an inordinate amount of crap reality programming on TV , like Celebrity Circus Axe Men In Alaska Who Are Really Tough While Simultaneously Dancing And Forgetting The Lyrics To Songs About Dangerous Fishing Situations . Fine . Friday , we had a nice visit with Kevin , the assistant to my GP , Dr . Stewart . Kevin has been handling all the paperwork on my case and routing it to the right people within the Alta Bates network , and he 's spent untold hours dealing with the bureaucracy of my situation . He 's very warm , patient and understanding , and has been a real trooper in all this - - I 'm not quite sure how to express the extent of my gratitude but when this is all over , we 'll figure something out . Later on Friday afternoon , we found out that all the paperwork had finally made its way to the managing director of the Alta Bates Medical Group so that he or she could give a final answer regarding who is going to take on ( and pay for ) my treatment . I got a call from Barbara , the nurse advocate who is on my side in this battle , and she took me through the possibile outcomes . First , she explained that I have a couple of strikes against me in our request for Stanford treatment : To begin with , Alta Bates is not connected to Stanford in any way , and had I asked for a second opinion within the network as per their proper protocol , they would have sent me to one of two other places ; one was UCSF ( a very fine cancer center in its own right ) , and I don 't remember the other . So , in their eyes , Stanford should not even really be part of the equation in the first place . Perhaps more damaging , Posted by
|
I didn 't wake up till late today and had no motivation to go out on my bike in the rain . I also had no motivation to do any of the things on my huge to do list . Eventually I knew I had to get outside so Ali and I went geocaching . There are a number of new geocaches since we last went geocaching in our local area , also our first geocaching experience . The first one we attempted to find didn 't happen , not sure if we were looking round the right tree or not . It wasn 't ideal conditions with the constant rain . Never mind we headed on to the next one which Ali found quickly . Next one was a muddy sliddy walk across the golf course . The next one should have been close but we couldn 't even see a stump , which was the hint , suspect all the leaves were hiding any that were there . One last one and then we headed home via the shops to get a few bits to add to Ali 's sisters Christmas presents . So after Christmas Day and Boxing day being spent with Ali 's mum I left on the 27th to ride home . As I was unsure of the weather I had planned to take two days , staying at my sisters on the tuesday evening . I left a little later than planned but made reasonable time riding lots of country lanes made me glad of my exposure 6pack , otherwise I would probably ended up on main roads and the tiny bit of the A6 and A50 I did wasn 't that enjoyable . I had one stop to pick up more water and once again the last 10miles was uphill . Turns out Coalville is on a hill . I had also worn summer gloves as it was lovely and warm . The evening was spent drinking wine and eating pizza . Helen had to be in work for 7am so it was to be an early start . Unfortunately I didn 't sleep well , think I was scared I would sleep through the alarm . I was on the road at about quarter to seven and Coalville being on a hill played in my favour as I set off downhill . I was making steady progress to Derby then I started climbing towards Ashbourne and it got slower and slower . The hills didn 't help but neither did the fact that the wind was trying to blow me back where I came from . It felt a long way to Ashbourne and any downhills had to be pedalled so that I kept going forward ! I stopped in Ashbourne to grab a sandwich and change into winter gloves , it was a little colder today ! Then it was time to Climb again to Buxton and then over to Whaley Bridge . Here I spent some time looking for a cafe as I was cold , even after adding a waterproof for the descent , and hungry . But they were all closed . I headed off towards Disley on a back road which was another huge hill and was very glad to see Disley . At Bramhall I was so happy to see Sainsburys had a cafe but I wandered around in a daze for a while and only bought cake , could have done with some ' real ' food as well . By this point the wind was a constant battle , the only respite from the headwind came when it started gusting from the side , which meant wrestling my bike to not end up under a bus on the A6 . Through Manchester and still not making any time as the wind was against me . I was glad to get home , two hours later than expected , and find that my mum had been round and left me a Pizza and ice - cream . Hope everyone has a Happy Christmas . Last few days at my sisters have been fun . Ali arrived just in time to help with tree decorating . We had a Christmas brunch before heading down to Cambridge for Christmas part 2 . Today I rode from home to Leicestershire where my sister lives . I was hoping Ali 's present would arrive so I didn 't leave till after 1pm which meant most of the journey would be in the dark . Heading through Manchester and Stockport wasn 't fun especially with rubbish brakes but once I got to the Peak District it improved . It also got hillier , I felt the weight of the panniers going up the hills and since I was cautious down them my overall speed was low . Sunday morning and at 7am I was outside in my PJ 's checking for ice , if any of my neighbours had been awake they probably would have thought I had lost it . Both the main road and the side street were completely clear and with a weather forcast of above freezing for Cheshire I was all ready to ride the Winter Solstice Audax . I had spent saturday sorting out my bike and Ali was giving me a lift to the start in Bredbury . Although I was still coughing I felt fine . Then it all changed , it started snowing , my friends were tweeting that they weren 't going , the organiser had suggested not riding . Ali sensibly pointed out that driving in the now snow covered road was not a good idea and I reluctantly went back to bed . Getting up an hour earlier and reading on the forum it sounded like I had made the right decision the roads over in Cheshire were a mixture of slush and ice . Only one thing for it cyclo - cross . It was the day of the Horwich CC 4 Season Cycles Humdinger Cross which is held less than two miles from my house , it would be rude not to go and race . I had to change my bike back from its off - road commuting duties by removing the rack and I also put my new cross tyres on , should be less likely to clog in the mud and hopefully grippier . Then I headed off making my first mistake by trying to ride down the back street which was now an ice - rink . Ali followed on foot wanting to get some running miles in . Signing on I went for a ride round the course . I was already out of gears but I was also nice and warm . The course was covered in snow but this was causing it to be very very muddy . Ali arrived and I gave her all my spare clothes so she was warm and lined up at the start . My head was still in long and steady mode and I pootled off the startline and round the first lap . The odd time I really tried pushing I got nowhere , seems like I can 't ride on mud ! Still my heart rate was up so I was getting a good workout . I was trying to be careful as I didn 't want to end up coughing and coughing but it seemed fine racing . After three laps I started to warm up and was able to reel in and pass a few people ahead of me . I still felt like I was descending badly , especially on the big muddy descent where I was shouting at myself , I knew I had to get my weight over my forks or my front wheel just washed out , but I am a wimp ! The race finished a little early for me as I had halved the gap to the girl in front in one lap , but I had enjoyed it which was the important thing . Repeating yesterday I met up with Colin , although a little earlier so we weren 't late to work . It was snowing most of the way in but luckily the only ice I encountered was the paths in Leverhulme park . Once again I dragged col round the singletrack although he gave the berms a miss . Coming home I had company as Col got to finish a little earlier . His light is impressive for the money but unfortunately for him I had my six pack with me . Which made his look a little weedy . It was great to have company on the way home . Most of this week I 'm working in the office as there is very little cycle training taking place at the moment . So this morning I arranged to meet Colin and we rode in together . I dragged him round the berms at Prestwich and was impressed at how well the bike coped seeing as it had a rack and panniers . I struggled with uphills , running out of gears and this cold still lingering . Getting to work I was covered in mud , Colin was clean . Mudguards were needed . My friends from Keep Pedalling had been kind enough to lend me , well I suppose Ali as I was busy riding , their Dirtworker during SITS . It 's been in the back of my mind that I should return it but getting round to it was a different matter . They need it back for over Christmas so today I got the train into Manchester and then pedalled across town with the Dirtworker on the rack on the back . It actually worked really well . Then I pedalled off to work . Not been 100 % since I got back from my ride on Sunday . Yesterday I wouldn 't have ridden to work only I was delivering level 3 training so needed the bike . In the session we rode 18miles so it certainly wasn 't a rest . Today I would be riding again as I was doing a reece ride / risk assessment . I was awake early coughing so instead of just lying there I got up and put a rack on my cross bike . This meant I could ride gears and use panniers . I can 't believe I used to think I wouldn 't like them I love riding with nothing on my back . I also added a water bottle cage and lights to the cross bike which means its all ready for riding down to my sisters for Christmas . Jen and I met at Irlam station which meant a nice ride across the moss for me . I was glad of my cross tyres on the off - road section and was moving a lot faster than the car behind me . The route was pretty straight forward and we collected four geocaches on the way to the cafe . I keep expecting to do a route with no new caches along as I 'm reusing trails but once again there were some right on the trail . The cafe ar Croxeth Park was really friendly , although I wasn 't popular with jen after having the last jacket spud . As the route is an out and back , its for January so we wanted something easy for bad weather , all that was left to return to the station . Getting off at Irlam I was even across the moss before it got dark . I stopped at the supermarket on the way home for food . Coming out I realised I had no bungy to strap things on the rack . Somehow I managed to get everything in the bags , not easy when you have two bottles of pop , orange juice , milk as well as other bits . GLOW is a women 's cycling club , it started with an aim of getting 100 women riding the Manchester 100 in September . Although I couldn 't make the Manchester 100 due to being at Kielder but since then they have been running regular rides . This Sunday the ride went from Horwich , most are South Manchester , so I decided to make the effort . The weather was wet but six of us turned up and headed over to the lancashire plains . I was on kiwi thinking it would be flat , but Martine ( Ride Leader ) had managed to choose the hilliest road . Only one moment when I ended up stopped as I pulled my foot out of my pedal . Today there was a Madison Cross event at Clayton Vale . I wasn 't sure what it involved but had planned to race with a friend . I then cancelled as I was meant to be working , this was then cancelled . I didn 't set an alarm since I had a late night on my work Christmas Do and decided to see what I felt like when I woke up . Waking up at 9am I fancied the race but it was a bit late to get the bike ready and ride so I drove down . Getting there I signed up and on the start line had to find my matching number . Soon we started , the course was short and laps were all less than five minutes . It was also very muddy and a little cold . The hail storm in the middle added a bit of interest . Once again I was working over in Horwich so I jammed everything into a camelbak and went on Rigger . Leaving the school I headed for Winter Hill and as I headed up there was still pockets of snow and at the top everywhere was covered with a dusting . Heading down the Belmont descent the first half was all fresh tracks , okay it was only a dusting of snow but it was still snow . From here I headed over the Darwen Moors , they were muddy so progress wasn 't fast and one uphill had to be walked . Over to the A666 and down to the Strawbury Duck . From here I headed home . I noticed on Winter Hill ' my ' bench had gone . It 's a silly thing but I often sat there when I was out riding when I was ill . There are a fair few pictures on this blog of Rigger at the bench . I was suprised how sad I felt about it not being there . Now I 'm working I am less likely to have a day where I just ride out to the bench and back and there are always other benches . I 've had a great month and its been completely unexpected . I 've tried to get less stressed with work stuff which hasn 't been as sucessful as it should . But the big thing is I 've made the effort to always ride to where I am working , to ride off - road and to ride a couple of cross races . So slowly I am adding more off - road miles in . Overall mileage was amazing and I 'm building a good base . When I look back on last November I can 't help but see the differences . Hoping this is the start to a healthy year ! Today I was doing a Recce ride in Liverpool , problem being that would only be 20miles . I was way too tired to get up early enough to ride over so train it was . Ali then suggested she met me in Wigan , where I normally change trains on the way back , and we ride home . I would definetlg get the miles that way . Plans changed a bit and I had to do a Learn to Ride in liverpool in the morning . Then the recce ride was completed partly in the dark . Partway round I went into a boots to collect my prescription , went to Dr 's yesterday . I knew I had to get it as I had ran out of meds . Just as I collected they mentioned they didn 't have enough and i 'd have to come back , not so easy as its in speke . Fortunately they open sunday and I am working over there on sunday . Back to riding we finished the recce and I got on a very busy train to Wigan , although after three stops it was quiet again . Partway there and Ali phoned she had punctured and was struggling with the pump . I explained how to use her CO2 . Then she rings again , it all went wrong and tyre still flattish . Fortunately she was by tesco so she sheltered inside and I rode from wigan to rescue her . Getting home , stats on computer and 1008miles for the month . Posted by I was working in Horwich today and the one thing the last couple of mountain bike rides have shown me is that my skills are lacking . Anything remotely technical and I forget how to ride . The way to improve this is to ride off - road more . So I took my mountain bike to work so I could ride home off - road . Getting all my work stuff in a camelbak wasn 't easy but I managed it . It did mean that I was a little cold as I didn 't have my usual 20 layers . Leaving the school I just headed towards Winter Hill , a bit of cheeky riding later and I was at Georges Lane . Up to the top and then down the Belmont descent . I then headed over to Turton Tower before home . I got Ali out on her bike today , she actually had to ride mine as I never got her gears sorted . . . . need new cables and randomly it was zip - ties I was missing ! We were a little late leaving , both of us probably at fault there and there may have been a little arguing . Still Simon was happy enough to meet half an hour later . Getting to lower barn was hard , my legs were tired and it was a headwind the whole way . But once there we headed over to Healey Nab . Ali started struggling , her wrist which has been playing up just got worse . At the nab me and Simon did a lap , I was mincing like a girl and Ali took the sensible option and waited for us as she couldn 't hold her bars . Thursday and Friday I commuted to Southport , no mishaps meant 70miles both days . I couldn 't decide about racing today but in the end decided to drive instead of ride and went for it . Ali came as well , mainly to drive me but she also got some pictures . At the start I stuck to Jenni from Liverpool Mercury 's wheel . She is so strong and sees all the gaps whereas I just slow down as I 'm too scared of crashing . Powering past her on the first straight I set my sights on second female . I caught her but once we got to the muddy section she ran past me with ease . Pushing hard I caught her again on the straight after the start finish , but once again the mud caught me and she got a bigger gap . I caught her again but this time she got too big a gap on me through the muddy section . I kept pushing but I was struggling with the mud . I was trying not to lose concentration and think I managed that . Battling a bit near the end with a guy but riding a descent got me a gap . On monday I went for a short run with Ali . I think that running a bit is good for me and probably helps balance out cycling a bit . But I know I have to ease into it slowly . So we ran a mile at a steady pace . Tuesday I was meant to be in the office , I decided to ride there off - road . I got very very muddy on there way there . This meant of course I was sent to a school ! Took a work vehicle as it would have taken me ages on rigger to get there . Got lazy when it came to heading home and got a lift ! Working in Southport today I had an early start , not ideal after a late night the night before . I was awake well before my alarm and even had time to make Ali sandwiches before I left . I 'd brought a couple of travel bugs with me to drop off and had chosen a premium member cache as I really don 't want them to go missing . The weather was nice , although once over Parbold Hill I had to add another layer as it was colder there than Bolton . The roads were also very muddy and my mudguards were getting clogged . Leaving at the end of the day I was looking forward to the ride home although I wanted to avoid parbold hill as its steeper from that side . After my usual faffing I headed out and soon had to take a layer off . I was on some really muddy roads and I could see winter hill in the distance . I had to ignore my garmin several times as it tried to take me down muddy tracks before having no choice when the road just ended at a track . Please to get on tarmac again I turned left as right had a dead end sign , slowly I started to recognise things before I realised I was back in Southport , yes having ridden for an hour I was nearly back where I started . At some point the battery light on the back of my Six Pack had started flashing , so I unplugged the rear light and hoped I had enough juice to get home . As it turns out the light may have an amazing battery life but I can 't run it forever ( two night rides and the audax ) without charging it . On a singletrack road it went out , pitch black . Ali responded to my plea and looking on my garmin there was a train station just over a mile away so we agreed to meet there ( after losing my wallet last night I had no card to pay for a train ) . All I had to do was get there . I have a very cheap cateye on the bars just incase but it casts no light so it was riding using the force . Getting on a slightly busier road every so now and again a car behind would illuminate my way but those coming towards me just left me unable to see . Finding the station , I put all my layers on and waited . I think the local youths thought I was a little odd . I was so pleased to see Ali and the car . Tonight the girls were over Rivington way so I thought I should make the effort to ride . The legs felt fine on the way to and from work ( all 1 . 2miles of it ) so I had no excuses . We were meeting near lower barn so I aimed to get there just after the meeting time as I didn 't want to be hanging round on my own in the dark . It was perfect and most of the girls were just getting bikes out of cars when I got there . I just got my entry in for this Audax before it closed and I was really looking forward to a long day out on the bike . Obviously racing CX yesterday wasn 't ideal preparation and I was unsure how I 'd get on with such a long ride . I haven 't done any long rides recently , although long commutes have been fine , if not particularly fast . To make things a little longer I planed to ride to and from the start , nearly 20miles each way . I didn 't sleep amazingly after 1am , constantly waking up so in the end I got up before my alarm . Breakfast and I was out the door . It didn 't take me long to feel hot and the showerproof came off . Riding through Manchester at 7am was interesting with plenty of people making there way home after a night out . Getting to the hall in Cheadle I bumped into Rich and Shona from keep pedalling . I grabbed a couple of biscuits , got ride of another layer , I was now in 3 / 4 bibs and a long sleeve jersey , and it was time to head off . The first section was the usual sprint and I concentrated on just holding my line and staying on the wheel in front . Eventually a hill split us up a bit and a front group got away , I settled in the second group which was being led by four lads from sheffrec cc . Taping along at what I thought was a good pace Rich and Shona sped past . But we saw them again at the first info control . From here the Sheffrec guys raised the pace and I worked to stay with them , they suggested some people came to the front but I was the only one to take them up on the offer . As we neared the cafe the pace went up again and we got there with barely any queue . It was my first visit to the Eureka cafe and I wasn 't disappointed . Beans on toast , a hot chocolate and a 7up before I headed out on the road . I was riding with a guy called Paul for a while but when the Sheffrec lot passed I grabbed on . We worked pretty well together and made good time to the next cafe , the Ice Cream Farm . My legs were a little sore by this point and I didn 't have ice cream , instead a chicken peri peri baguette . We 'd been seeing a lot of Rich and Shona and they arrived at the cafe only minutes afterwards . Leaving the cafe I managed a good turn on the front . But any slight hill and I went backwards ( something to work on ) I wasn 't the only one finding the hills hard although H was on a fixie ( I hadn 't been brave enough to bring mine ) . There was one last stop at a petrol station where I inhaled more food , before the last 30km back to cheadle . The pace was high now and it was all I could do to hold on . My garmin was so useful now it was dark ! Back to the startal and soup was served , Rich and Shona once again just behind us . All that was left was to ride home . The three of us rode into Manchester and I kept waiting to completely die but I made it home 20mins before i 'd told Ali I would be home . After enjoying racing down South with Mikey the other week I decided to race one of the North West events . Chatting to Jen from work it turned out that work had a stand there so I was going to have a cheer squad ! Originally I was going to drive over but Ali 's plans would have meant an expensive train ride home so I told her to take the car and decided to ride to Irlam and get the train over . The train turned up on time , I got to the race an hour before it started and signed on , got time for a lap of the course . It was so different to the one in the South - West ! There was of course draggy grass but also some technical bits , two huge hills ( well they felt like it when I was carrying my bike up ) and some hurdles . The start was hectic with nearly 130 of us in the race and I was a little worried it would be too busy . The first lap was spent racing another female rider and saying hi to people I hadn 't seen for ages . Everytime I passed the BikeRight stand I got a huge cheer ! I felt I wasn 't doing too bad a job of dismounting but the carry 's were all at a walk , I think a couple of the top guys actually rode up which is impressive ! I was lapped after two laps by the leaders and in total I did 5 laps . My average speed was lower than in the South West but that wasn 't a suprise . Some of the grassy banks I really sturggled with my tyres just washing out , maybe I need mud tyres ? I really enjoyed it and I 'm planning on a few more this season . Surely the more I do the faster I get ? Average heart rate was 182bpm so I was certainly trying although there is the odd dip where I obviously wasn 't pushing as hard . I also slowed near the end but I think that was as much to do with the course as me . I rode Rigger round Kielder following Ali round the marathon but other than that I haven 't rode a mountain bike since I hurt my back . So I decided on a nice easy ride back , but that was last week and I never got out . Today I had arranged to ride with Chris , to make it even easier I was on a fully rigid singlespeed . Shaun also joined us so I knew I would be following rear lights the whole time . It was a usual ride up to Rooley Moor Road , as expected I was well behind on the climbs . Shaun pushed me a bit on the road sections when I spun out . Once we started descending I lost them again , a combination of riding fully rigid and not having ridden off - road in ages . Then suddenly my rear wheel locked up , my saddle bag had come undone and my spare base layer fallen out and was now stuck in my brake . I had no tools with me as I had been in such a rush to get back . The boys soon returned though and it was quick to sort . Base layer isn 't much use any more though . I had a very early start this morning as Ali was off down to Thetford Forest . It looked a lovely day so I decided to ride to work in Liverpool . Leaving at 730am I was wearing two base layers , a jersey , my fleece , a gillet , tights and waterproof shorts . I was expecting to have to stop and take a layer off pretty quickly but no it stayed cold . It was a proper winter morning and I was loving riding . Crossing the M6 I found a quick geocache , getting closer to Speke I found myself on the Knowsley Expressway , not my idea of fun riding . So I came straight off and seeing signs of the transpennine trail I thought I knew where I was . Then I saw the Runcorn bridge getting closer I realised I was going the wrong way , oops ! Work involved an 18mile and the sun was out , it warmed up and we had a lovely crowd with us . We were finished by 3pm and I decided to ride home , it was too nice a day to spend sat on a train . At 430pm it suddenly got cold again and the fleece was back on , but only one base layer this time . I got home with 84miles on the garmin , not bad for a work day . Been an odd week with having monday off , then working close to home on tuesday . So close I came home for lunch as Ali was at home . Yesterday I was only working in Horwich so it was another short commute . I had got up early with the intention being to go for a ride but it never happened . I spent the day feeling like I had never woke up . After work I needed to go shopping , tesco was only a couple of miles from the school , but I knew I needed to ride so I went straight - on instead of turning left . A loop past freddies and over to red rock , which is hard work on the fixie , back via aspull where I decided to get a couple more miles and headed to Adlington and then back along the A6 . That wasn 't much fun as its all coned off so nowhere for traffic to overtake . I got to Tesco with 18miles on the garmin . Since i 've got panniers I always get a trolley , hard to carry them and the shopping . Once again this led to me buying way too much . I don 't have much spare room in the panniers anyway with all my work stuff in . So once again they were packed and stuff strapped to the top . As the shopping included two big bottles of beer and an orange juice it was a little heavy . Maybe it would be easier if I just used my bigger bags ? The start wasn 't great , back being injured meant I had to be sensible . I did my best but then work stuff was getting to me , I try and look after myself but nothing helps more than riding . My back feeling better I rode over to Liverpool a few times but the odd bit of off - road showed me that it wasn 't 100 % The month finished with a holiday in Cornwall , I feel a little guilty that I wasn 't on great form till near the end of the holiday . But I did get some nice rides in down there and they were hilly . The one thing I 've realised is that I am getting very few fun miles in and very few hills . As soon as my back is better I want to get out with Chris and maybe some fun road rides especially as I really enjoyed riding with Mikey and realised that I only seem to ride o I really enjoyed riding ruby again . I 'm also going to try another cross race after enjoying the one down south . To finish the holiday I rode a cross race down in Somerset . I orginally had to intention of racing but Mikey talked me into it and Katie kindly lent me Ted . On the start line I looked around and noticed that not only was I the only femal but all the others looked like fit men , this was going to be hard and maybe just involve me riding round on my own . On go we set off and I had a bad start for me and ended up right at the back , well there were two or three people behind me . All I could do was keep my head down and keep pushing . The course was mainly round a playing field and the only vaguely interesting bit was some off - camber through the trees . Into the last lap and the guy who had been on my tail all race went past , I had to dig deep . Halfway round I passed him again , I had no choice but to run the hurdles . Ali was screaming at the finish as I pushed as hard as I could , just holding him off . I was ready to die after I crossed the line ! I may have only been racing for second to last or third to last but it was fun . I was of course first female ! I enjoyed the race so maybe might think again about selling my cross bike . It 's ages since I 've worked that hard on a bike and I was so sleepy afterwards . Apparently intensity is what I need to get faster ! Back from a fab time in Cornwall that involved bikes , geocaching , cake , cyclo - cross , swimming and friends . Lots of individual posts to come about the days . We got there on monday and had an easy pootle on the bikes on tuesday . Then on tuesday evening we planned the rest of the week , I think my friends were humouring me but I like to know what I am doing . Amazingly we stuck to the plan . So on wednesday we went geocaching on foot nearby , on thursday we went to Lizard Point , friday was riding day , saturday we watched Ali swim in the sea and then today we went to the cyclo - cross race . I 'm currently down in Cornwall with Ali visiting my velocake pals . We 've done more geocaching ( post about this once I get home ) but the last couple of days have involved the bikes . Yesterday we went to Lizard point . Ali and Katie went in the car while Mikey and I rode there and back giving us 55miles . For some reason I still didn 't sleep brilliantly . Today we all went out , I had ice cream in Mousehole , the others had cake . Then we headed up to see the Merry Maidens stone circle to leave a travel bug that is trying to visit as many stone circles as possible having started at Stonehenge . From there we grabbed some food and then headed back . 26miles on the computer . Mikey and I then headed out for a quick 19miles giving me 45miles . Some miles were just what I needed and eventually i 'm getting less anxious and more relaxed . When the rota came out for this week I was a bit gutted , I had been taken off my school in Southport and sent to one in Kirby . I had really been looking forward to riding to Southport , especially after oversleeping last week and getting the train . Route plotting was difficult and I struggled to avoid the East Lancs , I managed to plot a route but I wasn 't sure how rideable it would be on a road bike . I 'd got as far as middlebrook when I punctured ( front tyre again so may be time for a new tyres ) . New tube and I headed to Wigan and then out towards Rainford . I stopped for a geocache that apparently had a view over to Jodrell Bank but it was too hazy to see . It 's the real problem with riding to Merseyside is that I miss the sunrise as it 's behind me ! Through the lanes and the next thing I know is i 'm on the East Lancs , at least it was a short section . All in all it was a nice commute . After a lovely day , due to lovely kids I still ended up outside in the rain , I left to ride to Manchester to meet loads of work peeps for a belated celebration for Mary 's birthday . I managed to pick up another geocache and avoid the East Lancs , which made the route slightly longer and hillier and ended up with me lifting a muddy bike over a fence . Still its nice to have a trio adventure on the commute . I met up with Ali , she hadn 't brought her bike which confused me a little , and we headed to the pub where I changed out of lycra so I looked a little less of a bike geek . Eventually we all moved to the all you can eat chinese where as usual I ate way too much ! I couldn 't help myself when it came to the chocolate cake though . I was glad that with Ali there I didn 't even have to think of riding home . Once again I was off to Merseyside with Jen to do a couple of recce rides . We had to meet early to make the most of daylight and we knew that there would be very little time for geocaching . I went to Irlam as well but missed the nice route and ended up on the main A57 worrying that I was missing the train . As it was I had about 5minutes . The first route went fine , including a nice cafe stop . Route two and we were hoping it was more rideable than last week . Turns out that it was relatively straight forward and we even had time for some geocaches , getting back just before it got dark we even had time for a sneaky pint in Manchester before I got the train home . Last monday I rode to Liverpool for work . I set off just after 6am and then battled a headwind the whole way there , ended up riding on the East Lancs and eventually arriving 20minutes late , not good . So this monday I left just before 6am , didn 't go the wrong way in Wigan so was on Country Lanes and arrived 20minutes early after having time for some Geocaching on the way . After work on saturday I jumped on a train and headed down to Loughborough to see my sister . Only one change at sheffield made it an easy journey , I should do it more often ! I got there in time for us to get pizza before I fell asleep on her partway through a film - some things never change . On Sunday , after a rubbish nights sleep , we took the dogs she is looking after for a walk . Of course I had to introduce Helen to geocaching . Dragon and Twitch seemed to be loving it , although they never got the hang of actually finding the caches . There was a series of eight near Helen 's so we headed there , missing 8 after a little search we found 1 / 8 just as I got it out two other caches ' caught ' us . So we collected the next 7 together . I hadn 't brought the clues for a bonus cache , a set of mathematical formulae , but they had . So at the end we even got a 9th . This morning the radio alarm went off and I woke up , unfortunately that was set for Ali to get up and my alarm hadn 't gone off . This meant it was 6 : 30am and if I was going to ride to the school I had to leave at 6am . Fortunately I could leave at 7am to get a train . I told myself I would ride home , but I 'm tired , stressed and grumpy so I got the train home . Feel very lazy now ! I was doing another risk assessment / recce ride over in Merseyside today . The ride started at Halewood so I decided to join the train at Irlam instead of Manchester , a good decision as it was a much nicer ride . Unfortunately just as I got to the station one of the straps from my pannier got caught in the wheel , fortunately apart from a broken strap everything seems ok ! Too many people around meant no searching for the cache near the station so we headed off on the route , the part I had plotted , apart from one dead end up someones drive it was all quiet roads and straightforward . Then we headed into the Sankey Valley . This wasn 't so good and was very muddy . One bridge they had built the gate just too small for bikes . Fortunately it did improve just before we found the pub . After that it was a short hop to the transpennine trail with a couple of caches that we had to find as we were passing . Yesterday Ali ran the Kielder Marathon . The weather was very similar to the kielder100 , drizzle wind etc . This time it was my turn to be support , Ali has certainly done her fair share of staying up through the night to support me ! First thing to work out was getting her to the start as although everyone thought originally shuttle buses were running from Kielder it turns out they weren 't . So I dropped her and someone else who was staying at the hostel at the start then rushed back , got my bike and rode up to cheer her off . They did a startting loop and she came through smiling and headed out and I set off down the road , wishing that I was on a road bike ( I had brought my singlespeed mountain bike ) as lots of people sped past me . I got to the four mile point ( ish ) and it wasn 't long before Ali turned up . I passed her a gel and headed to the viaduct . Here there were lots of people cheering and a smiling Ali took another gel off me and asked for sweets next time . Now I was glad I was on a mountain bike as I headed off into the forest to try and see her on the North Shore . As it turns out there was a fireroad that ran parallel to the lakeside way they were running on and I was able to drop down loads to see her . At this point there was about five of us on bikes that kept seeing each other , all arriving at the points at slightly different times to cheer our respective other halfs on . It seemed no time at all and Ali was running across the dam and ready to turn back home . She told me that enjoyment was 7 / 10 - not bad for 18miles into a marathon ! Onto the next one and we walked across the kielder viaduct , which Ali will be running across tomorrow ! Really interesting to read about how it had to be built due to the flow of the water . Then we decided one more . Most of the paths at kielder are not on my gps maps ( must look at adding some on openstreetmaps ) so it was a case of walking towards it . After failing to find a path I decided we should go cross country . It did get us to the right place but it was hard work . We walked out via the path .
|
I didn 't wake up till late today and had no motivation to go out on my bike in the rain . I also had no motivation to do any of the things on my huge to do list . Eventually I knew I had to get outside so Ali and I went geocaching . There are a number of new geocaches since we last went geocaching in our local area , also our first geocaching experience . The first one we attempted to find didn 't happen , not sure if we were looking round the right tree or not . It wasn 't ideal conditions with the constant rain . Never mind we headed on to the next one which Ali found quickly . Next one was a muddy sliddy walk across the golf course . The next one should have been close but we couldn 't even see a stump , which was the hint , suspect all the leaves were hiding any that were there . One last one and then we headed home via the shops to get a few bits to add to Ali 's sisters Christmas presents . So after Christmas Day and Boxing day being spent with Ali 's mum I left on the 27th to ride home . As I was unsure of the weather I had planned to take two days , staying at my sisters on the tuesday evening . I left a little later than planned but made reasonable time riding lots of country lanes made me glad of my exposure 6pack , otherwise I would probably ended up on main roads and the tiny bit of the A6 and A50 I did wasn 't that enjoyable . I had one stop to pick up more water and once again the last 10miles was uphill . Turns out Coalville is on a hill . I had also worn summer gloves as it was lovely and warm . The evening was spent drinking wine and eating pizza . Helen had to be in work for 7am so it was to be an early start . Unfortunately I didn 't sleep well , think I was scared I would sleep through the alarm . I was on the road at about quarter to seven and Coalville being on a hill played in my favour as I set off downhill . I was making steady progress to Derby then I started climbing towards Ashbourne and it got slower and slower . The hills didn 't help but neither did the fact that the wind was trying to blow me back where I came from . It felt a long way to Ashbourne and any downhills had to be pedalled so that I kept going forward ! I stopped in Ashbourne to grab a sandwich and change into winter gloves , it was a little colder today ! Then it was time to Climb again to Buxton and then over to Whaley Bridge . Here I spent some time looking for a cafe as I was cold , even after adding a waterproof for the descent , and hungry . But they were all closed . I headed off towards Disley on a back road which was another huge hill and was very glad to see Disley . At Bramhall I was so happy to see Sainsburys had a cafe but I wandered around in a daze for a while and only bought cake , could have done with some ' real ' food as well . By this point the wind was a constant battle , the only respite from the headwind came when it started gusting from the side , which meant wrestling my bike to not end up under a bus on the A6 . Through Manchester and still not making any time as the wind was against me . I was glad to get home , two hours later than expected , and find that my mum had been round and left me a Pizza and ice - cream . Hope everyone has a Happy Christmas . Last few days at my sisters have been fun . Ali arrived just in time to help with tree decorating . We had a Christmas brunch before heading down to Cambridge for Christmas part 2 . Today I rode from home to Leicestershire where my sister lives . I was hoping Ali 's present would arrive so I didn 't leave till after 1pm which meant most of the journey would be in the dark . Heading through Manchester and Stockport wasn 't fun especially with rubbish brakes but once I got to the Peak District it improved . It also got hillier , I felt the weight of the panniers going up the hills and since I was cautious down them my overall speed was low . Sunday morning and at 7am I was outside in my PJ 's checking for ice , if any of my neighbours had been awake they probably would have thought I had lost it . Both the main road and the side street were completely clear and with a weather forcast of above freezing for Cheshire I was all ready to ride the Winter Solstice Audax . I had spent saturday sorting out my bike and Ali was giving me a lift to the start in Bredbury . Although I was still coughing I felt fine . Then it all changed , it started snowing , my friends were tweeting that they weren 't going , the organiser had suggested not riding . Ali sensibly pointed out that driving in the now snow covered road was not a good idea and I reluctantly went back to bed . Getting up an hour earlier and reading on the forum it sounded like I had made the right decision the roads over in Cheshire were a mixture of slush and ice . Only one thing for it cyclo - cross . It was the day of the Horwich CC 4 Season Cycles Humdinger Cross which is held less than two miles from my house , it would be rude not to go and race . I had to change my bike back from its off - road commuting duties by removing the rack and I also put my new cross tyres on , should be less likely to clog in the mud and hopefully grippier . Then I headed off making my first mistake by trying to ride down the back street which was now an ice - rink . Ali followed on foot wanting to get some running miles in . Signing on I went for a ride round the course . I was already out of gears but I was also nice and warm . The course was covered in snow but this was causing it to be very very muddy . Ali arrived and I gave her all my spare clothes so she was warm and lined up at the start . My head was still in long and steady mode and I pootled off the startline and round the first lap . The odd time I really tried pushing I got nowhere , seems like I can 't ride on mud ! Still my heart rate was up so I was getting a good workout . I was trying to be careful as I didn 't want to end up coughing and coughing but it seemed fine racing . After three laps I started to warm up and was able to reel in and pass a few people ahead of me . I still felt like I was descending badly , especially on the big muddy descent where I was shouting at myself , I knew I had to get my weight over my forks or my front wheel just washed out , but I am a wimp ! The race finished a little early for me as I had halved the gap to the girl in front in one lap , but I had enjoyed it which was the important thing . Repeating yesterday I met up with Colin , although a little earlier so we weren 't late to work . It was snowing most of the way in but luckily the only ice I encountered was the paths in Leverhulme park . Once again I dragged col round the singletrack although he gave the berms a miss . Coming home I had company as Col got to finish a little earlier . His light is impressive for the money but unfortunately for him I had my six pack with me . Which made his look a little weedy . It was great to have company on the way home . Most of this week I 'm working in the office as there is very little cycle training taking place at the moment . So this morning I arranged to meet Colin and we rode in together . I dragged him round the berms at Prestwich and was impressed at how well the bike coped seeing as it had a rack and panniers . I struggled with uphills , running out of gears and this cold still lingering . Getting to work I was covered in mud , Colin was clean . Mudguards were needed . My friends from Keep Pedalling had been kind enough to lend me , well I suppose Ali as I was busy riding , their Dirtworker during SITS . It 's been in the back of my mind that I should return it but getting round to it was a different matter . They need it back for over Christmas so today I got the train into Manchester and then pedalled across town with the Dirtworker on the rack on the back . It actually worked really well . Then I pedalled off to work . Not been 100 % since I got back from my ride on Sunday . Yesterday I wouldn 't have ridden to work only I was delivering level 3 training so needed the bike . In the session we rode 18miles so it certainly wasn 't a rest . Today I would be riding again as I was doing a reece ride / risk assessment . I was awake early coughing so instead of just lying there I got up and put a rack on my cross bike . This meant I could ride gears and use panniers . I can 't believe I used to think I wouldn 't like them I love riding with nothing on my back . I also added a water bottle cage and lights to the cross bike which means its all ready for riding down to my sisters for Christmas . Jen and I met at Irlam station which meant a nice ride across the moss for me . I was glad of my cross tyres on the off - road section and was moving a lot faster than the car behind me . The route was pretty straight forward and we collected four geocaches on the way to the cafe . I keep expecting to do a route with no new caches along as I 'm reusing trails but once again there were some right on the trail . The cafe ar Croxeth Park was really friendly , although I wasn 't popular with jen after having the last jacket spud . As the route is an out and back , its for January so we wanted something easy for bad weather , all that was left to return to the station . Getting off at Irlam I was even across the moss before it got dark . I stopped at the supermarket on the way home for food . Coming out I realised I had no bungy to strap things on the rack . Somehow I managed to get everything in the bags , not easy when you have two bottles of pop , orange juice , milk as well as other bits . GLOW is a women 's cycling club , it started with an aim of getting 100 women riding the Manchester 100 in September . Although I couldn 't make the Manchester 100 due to being at Kielder but since then they have been running regular rides . This Sunday the ride went from Horwich , most are South Manchester , so I decided to make the effort . The weather was wet but six of us turned up and headed over to the lancashire plains . I was on kiwi thinking it would be flat , but Martine ( Ride Leader ) had managed to choose the hilliest road . Only one moment when I ended up stopped as I pulled my foot out of my pedal . Today there was a Madison Cross event at Clayton Vale . I wasn 't sure what it involved but had planned to race with a friend . I then cancelled as I was meant to be working , this was then cancelled . I didn 't set an alarm since I had a late night on my work Christmas Do and decided to see what I felt like when I woke up . Waking up at 9am I fancied the race but it was a bit late to get the bike ready and ride so I drove down . Getting there I signed up and on the start line had to find my matching number . Soon we started , the course was short and laps were all less than five minutes . It was also very muddy and a little cold . The hail storm in the middle added a bit of interest . Once again I was working over in Horwich so I jammed everything into a camelbak and went on Rigger . Leaving the school I headed for Winter Hill and as I headed up there was still pockets of snow and at the top everywhere was covered with a dusting . Heading down the Belmont descent the first half was all fresh tracks , okay it was only a dusting of snow but it was still snow . From here I headed over the Darwen Moors , they were muddy so progress wasn 't fast and one uphill had to be walked . Over to the A666 and down to the Strawbury Duck . From here I headed home . I noticed on Winter Hill ' my ' bench had gone . It 's a silly thing but I often sat there when I was out riding when I was ill . There are a fair few pictures on this blog of Rigger at the bench . I was suprised how sad I felt about it not being there . Now I 'm working I am less likely to have a day where I just ride out to the bench and back and there are always other benches . I 've had a great month and its been completely unexpected . I 've tried to get less stressed with work stuff which hasn 't been as sucessful as it should . But the big thing is I 've made the effort to always ride to where I am working , to ride off - road and to ride a couple of cross races . So slowly I am adding more off - road miles in . Overall mileage was amazing and I 'm building a good base . When I look back on last November I can 't help but see the differences . Hoping this is the start to a healthy year ! Today I was doing a Recce ride in Liverpool , problem being that would only be 20miles . I was way too tired to get up early enough to ride over so train it was . Ali then suggested she met me in Wigan , where I normally change trains on the way back , and we ride home . I would definetlg get the miles that way . Plans changed a bit and I had to do a Learn to Ride in liverpool in the morning . Then the recce ride was completed partly in the dark . Partway round I went into a boots to collect my prescription , went to Dr 's yesterday . I knew I had to get it as I had ran out of meds . Just as I collected they mentioned they didn 't have enough and i 'd have to come back , not so easy as its in speke . Fortunately they open sunday and I am working over there on sunday . Back to riding we finished the recce and I got on a very busy train to Wigan , although after three stops it was quiet again . Partway there and Ali phoned she had punctured and was struggling with the pump . I explained how to use her CO2 . Then she rings again , it all went wrong and tyre still flattish . Fortunately she was by tesco so she sheltered inside and I rode from wigan to rescue her . Getting home , stats on computer and 1008miles for the month . Posted by I was working in Horwich today and the one thing the last couple of mountain bike rides have shown me is that my skills are lacking . Anything remotely technical and I forget how to ride . The way to improve this is to ride off - road more . So I took my mountain bike to work so I could ride home off - road . Getting all my work stuff in a camelbak wasn 't easy but I managed it . It did mean that I was a little cold as I didn 't have my usual 20 layers . Leaving the school I just headed towards Winter Hill , a bit of cheeky riding later and I was at Georges Lane . Up to the top and then down the Belmont descent . I then headed over to Turton Tower before home . I got Ali out on her bike today , she actually had to ride mine as I never got her gears sorted . . . . need new cables and randomly it was zip - ties I was missing ! We were a little late leaving , both of us probably at fault there and there may have been a little arguing . Still Simon was happy enough to meet half an hour later . Getting to lower barn was hard , my legs were tired and it was a headwind the whole way . But once there we headed over to Healey Nab . Ali started struggling , her wrist which has been playing up just got worse . At the nab me and Simon did a lap , I was mincing like a girl and Ali took the sensible option and waited for us as she couldn 't hold her bars . Thursday and Friday I commuted to Southport , no mishaps meant 70miles both days . I couldn 't decide about racing today but in the end decided to drive instead of ride and went for it . Ali came as well , mainly to drive me but she also got some pictures . At the start I stuck to Jenni from Liverpool Mercury 's wheel . She is so strong and sees all the gaps whereas I just slow down as I 'm too scared of crashing . Powering past her on the first straight I set my sights on second female . I caught her but once we got to the muddy section she ran past me with ease . Pushing hard I caught her again on the straight after the start finish , but once again the mud caught me and she got a bigger gap . I caught her again but this time she got too big a gap on me through the muddy section . I kept pushing but I was struggling with the mud . I was trying not to lose concentration and think I managed that . Battling a bit near the end with a guy but riding a descent got me a gap . On monday I went for a short run with Ali . I think that running a bit is good for me and probably helps balance out cycling a bit . But I know I have to ease into it slowly . So we ran a mile at a steady pace . Tuesday I was meant to be in the office , I decided to ride there off - road . I got very very muddy on there way there . This meant of course I was sent to a school ! Took a work vehicle as it would have taken me ages on rigger to get there . Got lazy when it came to heading home and got a lift ! Working in Southport today I had an early start , not ideal after a late night the night before . I was awake well before my alarm and even had time to make Ali sandwiches before I left . I 'd brought a couple of travel bugs with me to drop off and had chosen a premium member cache as I really don 't want them to go missing . The weather was nice , although once over Parbold Hill I had to add another layer as it was colder there than Bolton . The roads were also very muddy and my mudguards were getting clogged . Leaving at the end of the day I was looking forward to the ride home although I wanted to avoid parbold hill as its steeper from that side . After my usual faffing I headed out and soon had to take a layer off . I was on some really muddy roads and I could see winter hill in the distance . I had to ignore my garmin several times as it tried to take me down muddy tracks before having no choice when the road just ended at a track . Please to get on tarmac again I turned left as right had a dead end sign , slowly I started to recognise things before I realised I was back in Southport , yes having ridden for an hour I was nearly back where I started . At some point the battery light on the back of my Six Pack had started flashing , so I unplugged the rear light and hoped I had enough juice to get home . As it turns out the light may have an amazing battery life but I can 't run it forever ( two night rides and the audax ) without charging it . On a singletrack road it went out , pitch black . Ali responded to my plea and looking on my garmin there was a train station just over a mile away so we agreed to meet there ( after losing my wallet last night I had no card to pay for a train ) . All I had to do was get there . I have a very cheap cateye on the bars just incase but it casts no light so it was riding using the force . Getting on a slightly busier road every so now and again a car behind would illuminate my way but those coming towards me just left me unable to see . Finding the station , I put all my layers on and waited . I think the local youths thought I was a little odd . I was so pleased to see Ali and the car . Tonight the girls were over Rivington way so I thought I should make the effort to ride . The legs felt fine on the way to and from work ( all 1 . 2miles of it ) so I had no excuses . We were meeting near lower barn so I aimed to get there just after the meeting time as I didn 't want to be hanging round on my own in the dark . It was perfect and most of the girls were just getting bikes out of cars when I got there . I just got my entry in for this Audax before it closed and I was really looking forward to a long day out on the bike . Obviously racing CX yesterday wasn 't ideal preparation and I was unsure how I 'd get on with such a long ride . I haven 't done any long rides recently , although long commutes have been fine , if not particularly fast . To make things a little longer I planed to ride to and from the start , nearly 20miles each way . I didn 't sleep amazingly after 1am , constantly waking up so in the end I got up before my alarm . Breakfast and I was out the door . It didn 't take me long to feel hot and the showerproof came off . Riding through Manchester at 7am was interesting with plenty of people making there way home after a night out . Getting to the hall in Cheadle I bumped into Rich and Shona from keep pedalling . I grabbed a couple of biscuits , got ride of another layer , I was now in 3 / 4 bibs and a long sleeve jersey , and it was time to head off . The first section was the usual sprint and I concentrated on just holding my line and staying on the wheel in front . Eventually a hill split us up a bit and a front group got away , I settled in the second group which was being led by four lads from sheffrec cc . Taping along at what I thought was a good pace Rich and Shona sped past . But we saw them again at the first info control . From here the Sheffrec guys raised the pace and I worked to stay with them , they suggested some people came to the front but I was the only one to take them up on the offer . As we neared the cafe the pace went up again and we got there with barely any queue . It was my first visit to the Eureka cafe and I wasn 't disappointed . Beans on toast , a hot chocolate and a 7up before I headed out on the road . I was riding with a guy called Paul for a while but when the Sheffrec lot passed I grabbed on . We worked pretty well together and made good time to the next cafe , the Ice Cream Farm . My legs were a little sore by this point and I didn 't have ice cream , instead a chicken peri peri baguette . We 'd been seeing a lot of Rich and Shona and they arrived at the cafe only minutes afterwards . Leaving the cafe I managed a good turn on the front . But any slight hill and I went backwards ( something to work on ) I wasn 't the only one finding the hills hard although H was on a fixie ( I hadn 't been brave enough to bring mine ) . There was one last stop at a petrol station where I inhaled more food , before the last 30km back to cheadle . The pace was high now and it was all I could do to hold on . My garmin was so useful now it was dark ! Back to the startal and soup was served , Rich and Shona once again just behind us . All that was left was to ride home . The three of us rode into Manchester and I kept waiting to completely die but I made it home 20mins before i 'd told Ali I would be home . After enjoying racing down South with Mikey the other week I decided to race one of the North West events . Chatting to Jen from work it turned out that work had a stand there so I was going to have a cheer squad ! Originally I was going to drive over but Ali 's plans would have meant an expensive train ride home so I told her to take the car and decided to ride to Irlam and get the train over . The train turned up on time , I got to the race an hour before it started and signed on , got time for a lap of the course . It was so different to the one in the South - West ! There was of course draggy grass but also some technical bits , two huge hills ( well they felt like it when I was carrying my bike up ) and some hurdles . The start was hectic with nearly 130 of us in the race and I was a little worried it would be too busy . The first lap was spent racing another female rider and saying hi to people I hadn 't seen for ages . Everytime I passed the BikeRight stand I got a huge cheer ! I felt I wasn 't doing too bad a job of dismounting but the carry 's were all at a walk , I think a couple of the top guys actually rode up which is impressive ! I was lapped after two laps by the leaders and in total I did 5 laps . My average speed was lower than in the South West but that wasn 't a suprise . Some of the grassy banks I really sturggled with my tyres just washing out , maybe I need mud tyres ? I really enjoyed it and I 'm planning on a few more this season . Surely the more I do the faster I get ? Average heart rate was 182bpm so I was certainly trying although there is the odd dip where I obviously wasn 't pushing as hard . I also slowed near the end but I think that was as much to do with the course as me . I rode Rigger round Kielder following Ali round the marathon but other than that I haven 't rode a mountain bike since I hurt my back . So I decided on a nice easy ride back , but that was last week and I never got out . Today I had arranged to ride with Chris , to make it even easier I was on a fully rigid singlespeed . Shaun also joined us so I knew I would be following rear lights the whole time . It was a usual ride up to Rooley Moor Road , as expected I was well behind on the climbs . Shaun pushed me a bit on the road sections when I spun out . Once we started descending I lost them again , a combination of riding fully rigid and not having ridden off - road in ages . Then suddenly my rear wheel locked up , my saddle bag had come undone and my spare base layer fallen out and was now stuck in my brake . I had no tools with me as I had been in such a rush to get back . The boys soon returned though and it was quick to sort . Base layer isn 't much use any more though . I had a very early start this morning as Ali was off down to Thetford Forest . It looked a lovely day so I decided to ride to work in Liverpool . Leaving at 730am I was wearing two base layers , a jersey , my fleece , a gillet , tights and waterproof shorts . I was expecting to have to stop and take a layer off pretty quickly but no it stayed cold . It was a proper winter morning and I was loving riding . Crossing the M6 I found a quick geocache , getting closer to Speke I found myself on the Knowsley Expressway , not my idea of fun riding . So I came straight off and seeing signs of the transpennine trail I thought I knew where I was . Then I saw the Runcorn bridge getting closer I realised I was going the wrong way , oops ! Work involved an 18mile and the sun was out , it warmed up and we had a lovely crowd with us . We were finished by 3pm and I decided to ride home , it was too nice a day to spend sat on a train . At 430pm it suddenly got cold again and the fleece was back on , but only one base layer this time . I got home with 84miles on the garmin , not bad for a work day . Been an odd week with having monday off , then working close to home on tuesday . So close I came home for lunch as Ali was at home . Yesterday I was only working in Horwich so it was another short commute . I had got up early with the intention being to go for a ride but it never happened . I spent the day feeling like I had never woke up . After work I needed to go shopping , tesco was only a couple of miles from the school , but I knew I needed to ride so I went straight - on instead of turning left . A loop past freddies and over to red rock , which is hard work on the fixie , back via aspull where I decided to get a couple more miles and headed to Adlington and then back along the A6 . That wasn 't much fun as its all coned off so nowhere for traffic to overtake . I got to Tesco with 18miles on the garmin . Since i 've got panniers I always get a trolley , hard to carry them and the shopping . Once again this led to me buying way too much . I don 't have much spare room in the panniers anyway with all my work stuff in . So once again they were packed and stuff strapped to the top . As the shopping included two big bottles of beer and an orange juice it was a little heavy . Maybe it would be easier if I just used my bigger bags ? The start wasn 't great , back being injured meant I had to be sensible . I did my best but then work stuff was getting to me , I try and look after myself but nothing helps more than riding . My back feeling better I rode over to Liverpool a few times but the odd bit of off - road showed me that it wasn 't 100 % The month finished with a holiday in Cornwall , I feel a little guilty that I wasn 't on great form till near the end of the holiday . But I did get some nice rides in down there and they were hilly . The one thing I 've realised is that I am getting very few fun miles in and very few hills . As soon as my back is better I want to get out with Chris and maybe some fun road rides especially as I really enjoyed riding with Mikey and realised that I only seem to ride o I really enjoyed riding ruby again . I 'm also going to try another cross race after enjoying the one down south . To finish the holiday I rode a cross race down in Somerset . I orginally had to intention of racing but Mikey talked me into it and Katie kindly lent me Ted . On the start line I looked around and noticed that not only was I the only femal but all the others looked like fit men , this was going to be hard and maybe just involve me riding round on my own . On go we set off and I had a bad start for me and ended up right at the back , well there were two or three people behind me . All I could do was keep my head down and keep pushing . The course was mainly round a playing field and the only vaguely interesting bit was some off - camber through the trees . Into the last lap and the guy who had been on my tail all race went past , I had to dig deep . Halfway round I passed him again , I had no choice but to run the hurdles . Ali was screaming at the finish as I pushed as hard as I could , just holding him off . I was ready to die after I crossed the line ! I may have only been racing for second to last or third to last but it was fun . I was of course first female ! I enjoyed the race so maybe might think again about selling my cross bike . It 's ages since I 've worked that hard on a bike and I was so sleepy afterwards . Apparently intensity is what I need to get faster ! Back from a fab time in Cornwall that involved bikes , geocaching , cake , cyclo - cross , swimming and friends . Lots of individual posts to come about the days . We got there on monday and had an easy pootle on the bikes on tuesday . Then on tuesday evening we planned the rest of the week , I think my friends were humouring me but I like to know what I am doing . Amazingly we stuck to the plan . So on wednesday we went geocaching on foot nearby , on thursday we went to Lizard Point , friday was riding day , saturday we watched Ali swim in the sea and then today we went to the cyclo - cross race . I 'm currently down in Cornwall with Ali visiting my velocake pals . We 've done more geocaching ( post about this once I get home ) but the last couple of days have involved the bikes . Yesterday we went to Lizard point . Ali and Katie went in the car while Mikey and I rode there and back giving us 55miles . For some reason I still didn 't sleep brilliantly . Today we all went out , I had ice cream in Mousehole , the others had cake . Then we headed up to see the Merry Maidens stone circle to leave a travel bug that is trying to visit as many stone circles as possible having started at Stonehenge . From there we grabbed some food and then headed back . 26miles on the computer . Mikey and I then headed out for a quick 19miles giving me 45miles . Some miles were just what I needed and eventually i 'm getting less anxious and more relaxed . When the rota came out for this week I was a bit gutted , I had been taken off my school in Southport and sent to one in Kirby . I had really been looking forward to riding to Southport , especially after oversleeping last week and getting the train . Route plotting was difficult and I struggled to avoid the East Lancs , I managed to plot a route but I wasn 't sure how rideable it would be on a road bike . I 'd got as far as middlebrook when I punctured ( front tyre again so may be time for a new tyres ) . New tube and I headed to Wigan and then out towards Rainford . I stopped for a geocache that apparently had a view over to Jodrell Bank but it was too hazy to see . It 's the real problem with riding to Merseyside is that I miss the sunrise as it 's behind me ! Through the lanes and the next thing I know is i 'm on the East Lancs , at least it was a short section . All in all it was a nice commute . After a lovely day , due to lovely kids I still ended up outside in the rain , I left to ride to Manchester to meet loads of work peeps for a belated celebration for Mary 's birthday . I managed to pick up another geocache and avoid the East Lancs , which made the route slightly longer and hillier and ended up with me lifting a muddy bike over a fence . Still its nice to have a trio adventure on the commute . I met up with Ali , she hadn 't brought her bike which confused me a little , and we headed to the pub where I changed out of lycra so I looked a little less of a bike geek . Eventually we all moved to the all you can eat chinese where as usual I ate way too much ! I couldn 't help myself when it came to the chocolate cake though . I was glad that with Ali there I didn 't even have to think of riding home . Once again I was off to Merseyside with Jen to do a couple of recce rides . We had to meet early to make the most of daylight and we knew that there would be very little time for geocaching . I went to Irlam as well but missed the nice route and ended up on the main A57 worrying that I was missing the train . As it was I had about 5minutes . The first route went fine , including a nice cafe stop . Route two and we were hoping it was more rideable than last week . Turns out that it was relatively straight forward and we even had time for some geocaches , getting back just before it got dark we even had time for a sneaky pint in Manchester before I got the train home . Last monday I rode to Liverpool for work . I set off just after 6am and then battled a headwind the whole way there , ended up riding on the East Lancs and eventually arriving 20minutes late , not good . So this monday I left just before 6am , didn 't go the wrong way in Wigan so was on Country Lanes and arrived 20minutes early after having time for some Geocaching on the way . After work on saturday I jumped on a train and headed down to Loughborough to see my sister . Only one change at sheffield made it an easy journey , I should do it more often ! I got there in time for us to get pizza before I fell asleep on her partway through a film - some things never change . On Sunday , after a rubbish nights sleep , we took the dogs she is looking after for a walk . Of course I had to introduce Helen to geocaching . Dragon and Twitch seemed to be loving it , although they never got the hang of actually finding the caches . There was a series of eight near Helen 's so we headed there , missing 8 after a little search we found 1 / 8 just as I got it out two other caches ' caught ' us . So we collected the next 7 together . I hadn 't brought the clues for a bonus cache , a set of mathematical formulae , but they had . So at the end we even got a 9th . This morning the radio alarm went off and I woke up , unfortunately that was set for Ali to get up and my alarm hadn 't gone off . This meant it was 6 : 30am and if I was going to ride to the school I had to leave at 6am . Fortunately I could leave at 7am to get a train . I told myself I would ride home , but I 'm tired , stressed and grumpy so I got the train home . Feel very lazy now ! I was doing another risk assessment / recce ride over in Merseyside today . The ride started at Halewood so I decided to join the train at Irlam instead of Manchester , a good decision as it was a much nicer ride . Unfortunately just as I got to the station one of the straps from my pannier got caught in the wheel , fortunately apart from a broken strap everything seems ok ! Too many people around meant no searching for the cache near the station so we headed off on the route , the part I had plotted , apart from one dead end up someones drive it was all quiet roads and straightforward . Then we headed into the Sankey Valley . This wasn 't so good and was very muddy . One bridge they had built the gate just too small for bikes . Fortunately it did improve just before we found the pub . After that it was a short hop to the transpennine trail with a couple of caches that we had to find as we were passing . Yesterday Ali ran the Kielder Marathon . The weather was very similar to the kielder100 , drizzle wind etc . This time it was my turn to be support , Ali has certainly done her fair share of staying up through the night to support me ! First thing to work out was getting her to the start as although everyone thought originally shuttle buses were running from Kielder it turns out they weren 't . So I dropped her and someone else who was staying at the hostel at the start then rushed back , got my bike and rode up to cheer her off . They did a startting loop and she came through smiling and headed out and I set off down the road , wishing that I was on a road bike ( I had brought my singlespeed mountain bike ) as lots of people sped past me . I got to the four mile point ( ish ) and it wasn 't long before Ali turned up . I passed her a gel and headed to the viaduct . Here there were lots of people cheering and a smiling Ali took another gel off me and asked for sweets next time . Now I was glad I was on a mountain bike as I headed off into the forest to try and see her on the North Shore . As it turns out there was a fireroad that ran parallel to the lakeside way they were running on and I was able to drop down loads to see her . At this point there was about five of us on bikes that kept seeing each other , all arriving at the points at slightly different times to cheer our respective other halfs on . It seemed no time at all and Ali was running across the dam and ready to turn back home . She told me that enjoyment was 7 / 10 - not bad for 18miles into a marathon ! Onto the next one and we walked across the kielder viaduct , which Ali will be running across tomorrow ! Really interesting to read about how it had to be built due to the flow of the water . Then we decided one more . Most of the paths at kielder are not on my gps maps ( must look at adding some on openstreetmaps ) so it was a case of walking towards it . After failing to find a path I decided we should go cross country . It did get us to the right place but it was hard work . We walked out via the path .
|
August 12 , 2014 by Gary Grant Leave a Comment By now you no doubt already know that there was an incident at a dirt track in up - state New York over the weekend that resulted in the death of 20 year old Kevin Ward Jr . when he was struck by a competitor 's car . That car happened to be driven by NASCAR star Tony Stewart . Unlike seemingly every other media outlet , The Garage Blog will not be displaying the sole video of the incident out of respect to Ward 's family and good taste in general . Viewing the video does nobody any good , especially not those who know nothing about motorsports or more specifically , sprint car racing . There was a time when oval track racers with a beef would beat the tar out of each other in the paddock , pit lane or even the winner 's circle , after a race . At some point that was outlawed and driver 's began showing their displeasure trackside , as the driver they were angry with passed by under yellow . Usually the display includes a shaken fist , a flipped bird or even a thrown helmet . Childish behaviour at best , tragic at worst as we have learned this weekend . In road racing , it is a very common rule that the driver of a car which is stopped on track must remain in their car , with safety equipment intact , until given the all clear to exit the car by safety workers . The exception to this is when the car is on fire . The reasons for this are many , not the least of which is that inside the car is the safest place for a driver to be while the track is still hot . From an attitudinal standpoint , the combination of rage , adrenaline and possibly even disorientation following a crash is not a good one when it comes to walking around a live track . September 18 , 2012 by Gary Grant 1 Comment Ok , so the video below has absolutely nothing to do with racing . I just think it 's pretty funny , because it is something I would do . Of course I probably wouldn 't do it in front of a TV camera , but you get the idea . Kyle Busch came out of the hauler as the fastest car on the track , and he backed it up by taking the pole for today 's LENOX Industrial Tools 301 from New Hampshire Motor Speedway . After setting the pace in the first practice , Busch was the last of 44 drivers to run his qualifying lap . Edging Kasey Kahne by . 003 seconds and Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Denny Hamlin by . 004 , Busch won the pole for today 's race with a lap at 133 . 417 mph . It was a lucky Friday the 13th for Busch as he was the 13th driver to set the pole time and also the last . Just happy that he kept it off the wall , Busch had this to say about his run . " I got in the throttle really early in [ Turns ] 3 and 4 , trying to make speed and was able to finish it , " Busch said . " But the car slipped right at the last second when you get to that older asphalt - it seems like this tire [ new from Goodyear for this race ] is different from the older tire , where you lose just a pinch of grip - it slid out right to the cushion point , I guess you 'd say . But , no , there 's no mark on the car , so it 's a good day . " Stewart Haas Racing loves coming to Loudon . Ryan Newman won this race in the spring with a 1 - 2 start and a 1 - 2 finish for Stewart Haas racing , then team owner Tony Stewart came back and won the fall race as the team continued to assert their dominance in New Hampshire . With Newman starting 6th and Stewart starting 10th the team is looking like they know which direction they need to go to make their way back to victory lane here in Loudon . Asked why he thinks the SHR teams are so good at New Hampshire , Stewart said : " I wish I knew , but it seems like where we were last year it 's continuing on so far - even though it sounds like we 've got a little bit of a different tire . I 'm pretty happy with it . I mean the car right off the first lap felt like it had really good balance to it . We 've just got to keep working with it and see if we can keep making it better all weekend . " " I think our cars are good , there 's no doubt , " Newman said . " I think the Hendrick engines [ are strong ] , and everything 's clicking . I like the track because I think you have to feel the tires and be on the edge . " I was thinking about it last week . I think it kind of reminds us of our old IRP [ Indianapolis Raceway Park ] days . This kind of drives like that kind of race track where your car is on top of the race track , and you get everything that you can . There is nothing to really make it go any faster . It 's not like you 're pushing the car on the banking to make it grip better . There 's none of that really to speak of here . I think just a little bit of our past , a little bit of us as far as the way we drive race cars , is what helps us here . " " It was awesome for us here last year , " Newman said . " It was a time when Stewart was struggling a little bit , too , so to have the one - two start and one - two finish , that was awesome . Then for him to back it up - for us to win the spring race , and him to win the fall race - it was an amazing place for us here , for Stewart - Haas , this race track here in Loudon . We 'll try to do it again . There is no reason that we can 't . " " It was a mistake on our team 's part and we deserve the penalty for it , " Stewart said . " Luckily it was in qualifying , so it wasn 't something that made us win the race . We didn 't win the race because of that . Like I said , it was just a mistake on our part and we 've just got to make sure we don 't overlook that again . " 36 different drivers were fast enough to break the record for the fastest qualifying lap at Pocono yesterday afternoon . Kasey Kahne held the previous record of 172 . 533 mph at the track back in 2004 , but when the 10th driver out smashed the record by a full 7 miles an hour everyone stood up and took note . Joey Logano was the man who did it , and then waited as 36 more drivers went out to beat his time . Even though he had just broken the qualifying record for the Pocono 400 presented by # NASCAR , Joey felt as if he had left some speed out on the track when he slid it on some speedy dry through turn 1 . " The track was dirty , " Logano said . " When I went out there and got to that trouble spot , I got loose a little bit and didn 't get to the bottom as well as I wanted to . So I felt like I left a tenth and a half [ of a second ] or so right there , but I felt like I nailed [ Turns ] 2 and 3 pretty well . Carl Edwards will start on the outside of row one in second place . He was asked about his feelings about the speed out there on the track . The day had started overcast and cloudy and finished in the sunshine , and most thought that the speeds would have improved throughout the afternoon . Edwards was at a loss for an explanation . " I think it 's really hard to determine what makes this track faster right now , " Edwards said . " I don 't know if being a little warmer makes it faster . I thought , as we went on and that speedy - dry and the groove got cleaned off , that people would go a lot faster , so it 's a surprise to me . " Tony Stewart , NASCAR 's current reigning Sprint Cup Champion has had some troubles on the track after getting off to his best season start ever . Winning 2 of the first 6 races Stewart has been inconsistent since then . His results in practice had him sounding up beat despite his 22nd place qualifying effort . " Yeah , not bad so far , " he said after his No . 14 Chevrolet was eighth of 44 race cars . " We didn 't do any qualifying runs [ in testing Thursday ] , so I 'm pretty happy with the way that the day started here . I think our race pace is fairly reasonable . We 're still trying to figure out things to do to keep it good for a long run . But for the most part , we 're pretty happy with it so far . " 600 grueling miles in almost 90 degree heat , saving equipment until the end , making changes to keep up with the track as the sun goes down , and strategy to gain track position at just the right time . Kasey Kahne had all that working for him . Kenny Francis made all the right changes to his car and stayed ahead of the track , while Kasey took care of his car , keeping it off the wall , saving his brakes , and finding the speed he needed right at the best time to find it , in the final 25 laps . After a rough start to the 2012 season Kahne has had a solid run for the last 6 weeks finishing top 10 . He never gave up despite the string of DNF 's early on , he kept any complaints he may have had to himself , and forged on . The end result of that patience it seems is a win at one of NASCAR 's marquee races . " I never doubted myself , " said Kahne . " I was upset at some of the things that may have happened . I made a huge mistake at Phoenix and hit the wall there , but other than that , we were solid - we were fast . " I think the biggest thing for myself was just to figure out the cars , figure out how they drove , " Kahne said . " It 's been a little bit different for me . We 've had speed . Even the last five , six races , we 've been in the top 10 , but not near as fast as Jimmie Johnson or a couple of those guys who have been winning races . " I just knew for myself , I needed to step up . Our team is solid . Our car is solid . Mr . Hendrick gives us everything we need to win races and run up front . [ Sunday ] night we were able to put it all together . " " As the track cooled off , it freed up for us - the car got better , " Hamlin said . " Ultimately , it gave us a shot to win . … The first 10 laps of the last run , we got to them [ Kahne ] , but we wore our front tires trying to get around them . " It 's so frustrating , " Biffle said of his fourth place finish after having the event 's dominant car . " You 're driving your heart out , you 're wondering , ' Am I doing something wrong ? Come on , come on . ' You 're doing all you can do , but the car won 't do what you want it to do . You just take what it gives you , otherwise you wreck it . And I just about wrecked it a half a dozen times trying to get forward . " Other notable finishers were Carl Edwards who charged from the back of the field towards the front gaining more than 20 positions to finish in in the top ten in 9th place . Dale Earnhardt Jr also did well , running in the top 15 for most of the race and climbing to as high as second on a call by his Crew Chief , Steve Latarte , to stay out on 12 lap tires when the leaders came in to the pits . The gained track position was what he needed to stay inside the top 10 to finish in 6th place . Good enough to stay within 18 points of the points leader Greg Biffle in 4th place overall . 200 wins . Now there 's a lifetime achievement to be proud of . But in typical Rick Hendrick fashion , while the mile stone is great , he is already looking towards the next one . Jimmie Johnson could not have been more proud as he beamed his trademark smile around everywhere after the race . Johnson presented his owner with a helmet signed by the 15 drivers who ran for Hendrick since he began his operation . " Thanks , buddy , " Rick Hendrick said with a smile . " This will definitely be the centerpiece of the mancave . " " I was trying to postpone [ No . 200 ] for another week by trying to get to Jimmie , but I just couldn 't do it , " said Tony Stewart . " The closer I got to him , the tighter I got . That was one of the best runs we 'd had , but still I wasn 't strong enough . " He had plenty of car left . He was just riding , trying to save fuel . They won it in dominating fashion . To win a 200th race , you don 't want to back into it . They dominated and took it the way they should . " " We kind of struggled there the first half of the race , " Stewart said . " We fought loose in [ Turn ] 1 and 2 , really tight in 3 and 4 . So it 's really hard to fix the balance of the race car when it 's doing two different things on two different ends . " I still was really nervous with the 14 behind me , " Johnson said . " He 's been the guy week after week that can go the distance . I was trying to pace myself off of him . It worked out . " " We ran out of fuel coming off of [ Turn ] 4 , " Stewart said . " It didn 't run all the way out of fuel , but it laid down enough that it didn 't run a 100 percent going down into Turn 1 . Once we got into 1 , we got the fuel to the pickup , and we just lost our spot doing it . " Talladega has always had the danger , the excitement , and the reputation for the " Big One " with the potential for disaster . 43 cars entered the arena ready to do battle with the high temperatures Mother Nature provided and the other gladiators vying for a win . Everyone chose their dancing partners but for the first 3 / 4 of the race , chose to battle their own cars instead of those around them . Doing their best to keep the engines cool and their equipment ready for the final push at the end of the race . Those who tried and failed are amongst NASCAR elite . Jimmie Johnson lost his oil pump as did Ryan Newman . Jeff Gordon succumbed to over heating issues late in the race , only to be caught up in the first of 3 wrecks in the final stages of the race . But in the end it was Brad Kesolowski who made a move that no one expected . He kept his engine cool , he stayed out of the carnage , and he made it look easy pulling away from Kyle Busch , the car that was pushing him to the lead , with a move that broke the momentum of the push and allowed the lead car to win the race instead of the slingshot pass we 've become so accustomed to . Riding up the track to the outside of turn 3 and diving down towards the infield , Kesolowski broke the 2 car draft leaving Kyle Busch with a wall of air to slow him down , as the # 2 Miller Lite Blue Deuce pulled away by what looked to be at least 3 car lengths . With the 5 previous races having been won by the car in second position after passing the car they were pushing , everyone was expecting a different outcome , but Brad had a plan . " I had this whole plan if I ever got in that situation where I was leading ; I thought about it and thought about it , dreamed about what to do , and sure enough , going into ( Turn ) 3 , it was just me and Kyle , " Keselowski said . " I knew the move I wanted to pull . It worked because the guy running second should have the advantage , but I had this move all worked up in my mind . " " Two wins , with the wild card and all , that almost makes you immune to missing the Chase , " Keselowski said . " This team is going to be strong come Chase time . The best is yet to come . " " I must have screwed something up , because we got to Turn 3 and came unhooked , " said Busch . " Just gave the win away over there . Not sure exactly what happened . We definitely need to go back and figure out what it was . " " I 'm not sure he did anything , " Busch said . " If he did , he 's pretty smart . But I think our stuff just came unplugged . " " If you 're leading , being pushed , plan on finishing second . That 's all there is to it . He 's no dummy , that 's for sure , " said Busch in post race interviews . Matt Kenseth was still trying to figure out how his car , which had been the fastest all day and had led the most laps , was unable to close at the end . On the final restart his teammate Greg Biffle was pushing him from the line , but his car was too fast for Biffle to get up behind and push . The gap between the 2 Fords allowed Kesolowski and Busch to fly by and race themselves to the finish . " I think we had the winning car , really just didn 't have the winning driver , " Kenseth said . " I looked forward for a second , when I looked back , Greg and I were separated , those guys were already outside of him . With me not paying attention , keeping us hooked up , just cost us a shot at the win , cost Greg a shot at the win . " " It 's hard to whine about leading most of the day and finishing third , " Kenseth said . " It 's just disappointing on the last restart when I had control over keeping Greg with me and I did a poor job of managing that . We got separated and got beat . " " It probably didn 't help that we had a piece of the body break off on the B - post and had the fender tracked in a little bit , " Kenseth said . " That was my fault because I ran into [ Mears ] with the right front . It didn 't help us , but we had a fast car . " " It was my fault , " Kenseth said . " I needed to drag the brake more and get off the gas more to make sure he stays attached . But honestly at Daytona , we came unattached and they couldn 't get a run back on me . When we did come apart , there really was no bottom lane . He lost all his speed . " No for all the fans who have been complaining about boring long green flag runs , Talladega had a few of those , but the excitement of the last 40 laps made all the boredom fade . The fact that no one was injured as a quarter of the field was taken out of the race and all but 19 cars fell off the lead lap is a testament to the safety developments that NASCAR has been implementing over the past 10 years . Cars completely torn up and drivers walk away uninjured . It may be expensive for the owners , but the fans like to see the action , as long as no one is injured . The " Big One " is always a game changer as no one knows when it will happen , or who it will take out . Take Jeff Gordon for example . He is having one of the most bizarre seasons of his career . Having won the Pole for the race , he faded back early . He showed signs of being able to get back to the front when he wanted to , but you can 't get to the front it you drive it into the wall . " That was not fun . I didn 't like hitting the wall , but gosh , I thought I was clear . I was just kind of cruising by on the inside . It looked to me like somebody came down and got Martin [ Truex Jr . ] , and that turned him into me . That 's just the way our season 's been going . " In typical Tony Stewart fashion his sarcasm was in excellent form as he talked to reporters after the race . For those of you that missed it , earlier in the week Stewart lashed out at a reporter for asking if the lack of wrecks was costing NASCAR their fan base . After yesterdays race he had this to say . " Honestly , I think if we haven 't crashed 50 percent of the field by the end of the race , we need to extend the race until we at least crash 50 percent of the cars . ' Cause it 's not fair to these fans for them to not see any more wrecks than that . We still had over half the cars running . It shouldn 't be that way . " " I 'm upset that we didn 't crash more cars , " he said . " I feel like that 's what we 're here for . I feel bad if I don 't spend at least $ 150 , 000 in tore - up race cars going back to the shop so we definitely got to do a better job with that . … " I had a blast . It would have been a lot more fun if I could have got caught up in one more wreck . If I could have done that , it would have been perfect . " The # 56 NAPA Auto Parts car piloted by Martin Truex looked untouchable . For most of the day he was , leading mosre laps in one race than he has in 2 season previous in total , Martin Truex looked like he ws the one to beat , and then the sun came out . When the sun came out it loosened up everyone in the field , but for Truex it spelled the end as Denny Hamlin 's # 11 Fed EX car improved enough under the new track conditions that , with 30 laps to go , he was finally able to make the pass and hold off Martin Truex Jr . right up to the checkered flag . Truex gave it all he had making 2 serious dive bomb attempts at retaking the lea but it simply was too little and too late to catch Hamlin before the checkered flag . " Whether it was coincidence or not , our car definitely seemed like , [ relative ] to the field , was better once the sun came out , " Hamlin said . " I felt like our car lost a lot of grip when the sun came out , but I guess a lot of guys did when that happened . I felt like all day I was behind the No . 56 [ Truex ] , and his car looked so superior to the field . " " We just needed some kind of change - weather or adjustments or something to get where he was at - and we kind of got both of them . In overcast conditions , the cars run a little bit tighter , the grip level 's higher in the race car , and it 's more of a track - position type race . When the sun 's out , the drivers , in my opinion , are more prominent . " " You move around , find the grip , do things in the car to make up for what you don 't have . The slicker the conditions are , the better it tends to [ be ] for our race team . Luckily , we had that run in sunshine . " " I know our wins are going to come . We just need to keep running like we are . It 's been a long time since I 've won , and I know I 'm capable of it , and that 's the most disappointing thing , letting one slip away [ Sunday ] . If I had made a mistake or we 'd made a bad adjustment or something , it would probably be a little bit easier to swallow , to be honest . But to put tires on , and not touch the car , and all of a sudden the car drives worse than it has all day , it is pretty frustrating when you haven 't won in a while . But again , I 've got a lot of confidence in this team right now . … Good things are in the future for us , and I 've just got to keep looking at that direction . " " This week it doesn 't register , " Johnson said . " To me , last week at Texas [ and ] the week before , to lead a lot of laps at Martinsville and have our cars be one , two , three and not get the victory … [ Sunday ] , to get near the end and not close the deal does sting . We ran well but we weren 't a dominant car and kind of finished where we should have . " I don 't think it affected our finish . We got basically back to where we were [ before the stop ] . I think I was ahead of the No . 11 but the No . 11 was real strong that last run and went up there and got the win . " Dale Earnhardt Jr had another strong showing with a 7th place finish , good enough to keep him in 4th in the overall points . Steve Letarte , in an intervfiew with Claire B . Lange from Sirius / XM NASCAR radio , said it isn 't how far you are frm teh top , they 're more concerned with not falling past 11th in the standings . 64 points ahead of 11th place is the way they are thinking right now . If they can remain as consistant as they have been so far this season , the wins will happen , as long as they don 't get ffrustrated before they get there . Tony Stewart , the reigning 2011 champion had another off day with the # 14 Mobil 1 car . Starting back in the field in 29th he never really seemed to gain any traction in his move towards the front . Coming on strong at the end of the race he managed to improve his position up to 13th dropping him to 8th in teh overall points . Next week we head to Richmond for the first of 2 races there . Richmond being a short track is usually as very aggressive race , however the feeling doesn 't really seem to be there for the first race of the season . Drivers and crew chiefs both expect to see a lot of green flag racing in comparison to what we will see in the fall . Only time will tell . For the second time in his racing career Martin Truex Jr will lead the field to the green flag at Texas Motor Speedway . He will be watching his rear view mirror closely however , as the defending race champion Matt Kenseth will be close on his tail starting from his best start ever in Texas , second . Truex in his No . 56 Toyota posted a lap at 190 . 369 mph ( 28 . 366 seconds ) to edge defending race winner Matt Kenseth ( 190 . 148 mph ) for the top starting spot . " That 's our main goal . This team 's good enough . We can get to Victory Lane . We 're going to do it soon . I feel good about this team . I 'm just having so much fun coming to the race track and driving these cars . " Tony Stewart , who has won four of the past six races on 1 . 5 - mile tracks , including the past three ( he 's a two - time winner at Texas , most recently this past November ) will be one to watch tonight as he makes his way forward from his 29th place starting position . Stewart brushed the wall in practice before qualifying and opted to go with his back up car . Suprisingly , the back up car seemed to respond to changes better than the primary car was . " That 's our main goal , " said Truex , who is tied for third in the Cup standings with Kenseth , Kevin Harvick and Tony Stewart . " This team 's good enough . We can get to Victory Lane . We 're going to do it soon . I feel good about this team . I 'm just having so much fun coming to the race track and driving these cars . " We 're getting closer . I feel like we 're getting closer , " Earnhardt said . " I don 't really know what the measuring stick is , but hopefully it 's real close . I 'm ready to win . I 'm ready to go to Victory Lane . I 've been working with these guys , and they 're working so hard . They 're giving me really , really good cars . They deserve to win races . I think the team deserves it . Ready to make that happen . We 're just going to keep trying . We 're getting closer , though . That 's the bright spot . " But don 't count out the Roushketeers either . Matt Kenseth comes to Texas as the defending race champion , and Gerg Biffle is leading the overall points battle . Carl Edwards sits just outside the top 10 in eleventh position , and is still chomping at the bit after losing the championship to Tony Stewart after tying in points . The three current Roushketeers were not only among the most consistent drivers last year , they were the strongest . All three swept the top five and all of them finished the AAA Texas 500 within three spots of their spring effort . Just as important , the group carried that momentum over from previous seasons , which gives them a balance of recent momentum and career strength . Kenseth may very well be the strongest of the three at Texas . His victory in this race last year was the second on this track during his career , but the first since 2002 . He wasn 't simply logging laps in the intervening years , however ; the driver of the No . 17 earned four runner - up finishes from 2006 through 2010 , as well as another two third - place results . In his last 13 attempts , he has amassed nine top - fives and finished worse than 12th only once . Moreover , he 's earned these results despite a variety of circumstances that include green - white - checkered finishes , fuel mileage races and rain - delayed events . 326 laps lead . Fastest car on the track all day . Dominance on every restart . Then came the first attempt at a Green White Checkered finish . Jeff Gordon was sure he had it won , but on the first attempt to finish under green , both Gordon and Johnson had slow restarts allowing Clint Bowyer to get under them and make a pass attempt , which erupted into chaos as Gordon was pushed up the track into Johnson causing all 3 cars to wreck , and allowing Ryan Newman to pass in the melee along with A . J . Allmendinger and Dale Earnhardt Jr . In what has become the typical Martinsville finish , the final pass to win the race came with under 4 laps to go . Newman had been running inside the top 10 during the early stages of the race , but had fallen off the lead lap due to a pit road speeding penalty . As the race worn down to the final laps however Newman earned a free pass to get back on to the lead lap . A little bit of pit strategy and he was back in contention , running inside the top 10 again . Then as the first GWC restart happened Newman found himself in 5th position on the grid , and as it turned out , sitting in the cat bird seat when the fireworks started . As Bowyer slid up into Gordon , pushing Gordon into Johnson , Newman took advantage and passed them all on the bottom of the track bringing A . J . Allmendinger and Dale Jr . along with him through the mess . " He ran me really clean , " Allmendinger said . " He didn 't shove me up the race track like he could have . He gave me the opportunity to beat him on the outside there . We were just not turning good enough in the center [ of the corners ] there on the restart . " [ Newman ] did everything clean on the restart . He could have drove me off the race track , and if he would have done that then it 's kind of like , ' OK , it 's game on . ' But he gave me all the chances that I could to go beat him . " " We came off the white [ flag ] side by side and he rolled [ Turns ] 1 and 2 really good , and that was it , " Allmendinger said . " You race people how they race you . And if he would have just drove into the corner , [ run into the ] left side of me and got me out of the way , then I would have probably run into him . He didn 't do that and he didn 't deserve to get wrecked . " " For the way we ran all weekend even if the yellow wouldn 't have come out , we would have finished eighth where we were running - I was going to be happy because we were a top 10 car all day , " Allmendinger said . " We worked our way up there and did all the right things . From 27th on , from where we started , we didn 't have any fender damage . We were clean . I was going to be happy with that . At the end , you get a little bit lucky on a restart and you have a chance . " " Yeah I 'm really happy with our finish . We worked really hard all day , all weekend really , we worked hard to obviously get the best finish that we could . This is our first race with AMP on the hood so I 'm real proud to get a good finish for those guys . Really , the race , the car was good on the long runs , we obviously drove up there and passed Jeff for the lead , and then at the end of the race we overcome a bad pitstop and drove back into the top three . So the car was really good on the long run speeds , we didn 't have enough short run speed to run with a lot of people in the first 20 laps or so but after lap 45 or more the car was really great , really comfortable and would do whatever I wanted it to do . It was a really fun racecar and this is a really fun race track , and I was enjoying how everything was playing out there , right up until the end . We tore both sides of the car there at the end and that felt really unnecessary . " " Now that I think about it , the leaders had old tires , more than a 100 laps on them , the guys behind them had new tires at least on one side of their cars . Well all took of and ran into the backs of the leaders , all of us . Clint went to the inside and that was his perogative man , he was going for the win . I thought it was a good move , but there just wasn 't enough room for the three of them down there in the corner and all of them got together . "
|
Posted on April 15 , 2017 by Lucien Reply Quite recently I have been playing Persona 5 , and man am I in love with this game . This game has taken the title of best game for me quite handily . Sony seems to be eager to come out of the gate swinging with some very polished games . First it was Horizon : Zero Dawn , now it 's Persona 5 . And given some of the exclusives we have to look forward to in the future , I am excited to see what happens next . The thing to know about this game is that it is DRIPPING with a style all its own . The punk aesthetic , vibrant colors , and jazzy soundtrack all mesh so well in immersing me in this world . I feel like each of the Palace worlds was a place that I would at least like to see once . Style was oozing out of every pore in that game , and bless it for that . We live in an age where it sees like every game company is looking to go more and more into the realms of realism . Seems like there is an arms race to get past the uncanny valley of a game that looks so real that I can 't tell the difference between it and reality . However , there are pros and cons to both sides of that . This is something that is being lost on people . Let 's dive into this and show these elements in respect to one - another . When I think of games that have embraced realism so heavily , two that come to mind immediately are The Last of Us and Uncharted 4 : A Thief 's End . Both games had incredible detail put into every element . Naughty Dog has gotten something of a pedigree for games that are insanely detailed and have characters who feel believable . This could only be possible with effects that fight that Uncanny Valley I mentioned earlier . I could get lost in every environment in those games . They were visual masterpieces , which I can and do replay over and over just for how beautiful it is to go through . There is also the element when you are looking to capture how grim something is . A war , for example , can be brought to life much more horrifically when you bring it into the realistic space . Fear is also more palpable . I played the PT demo like some of you , and holy shit ! The realistic nature of that is what made it so unnerving to play . I had the shit getting scared out of me because it felt like I was really in that hallway , with that ghost who was after me . And fuck that telephone ! Gave me a fucking heart - attack . It 's hard to imagine such a game being done any other way . Although , Silent Hill 4 did the concept pretty decently , for the part of the game where you are trapped in the main character 's apartment . Style allows a game world to feel unique . When you want to create an atmosphere in a game , it helps when you have a universe where the rules of it feel unique . As a frame of reference , let 's take a look at Persona 5 . This game is about youthful rebellion against authoritarian rule - making . Every element goes along with this . The vibrant use of colors in every regard , even the menus , makes you see this aesthetic . Like watching a punk rock music video from the 90 's , and with the jazzy soundtrack to boot . Everything goes towards making you feel like this world is all its own . Plus , the style helps tell the stories of the protagonists . Another game which had a unique style to see it was Life is Strange . While the ending to that game was bullshit , it was still pretty awesome to play . Part of this was because the style felt like a teen comic . While the facial animations could most definitely used a lot of work , you still get invested because these characters have personality that goes along with the soft colors and pastel look . It 's a game which uses that aesthetic to compel you to slow down , take your time , and investigate things . Then it can be something that assists gameplay . Look at Mirror 's Edge for that . The world of that game was drenched in white . It made the colors in it stand out so you knew to pay attention to them . Not to mention that it made the authoritarian nature of the government more apparently . The world is white , they are always in black and blue . Their color tells you how you should see them . It 's not the most complicated method of story - telling , but it gets the job done . Something that you also have to keep in mind is that style is easier to do . Games that go for realism take longer to get right . And in a gaming market where people are demanding games quicker ( I have no idea why . I have no problem with delays to get it right ) , this ends up with a TON of bugs . Style has no such limitations . It can be done much quicker and use a smaller budget . Which brings me to the cons . There is something to keep in mind when you have games shooting for that Uncanny Valley - they have a bad habit of having bugs . A TON of bugs . And with the rush I said before , more and more games are being shipped with bugs that the industry calls " known shippable . " Hell , when Naughty Dog was working on Uncharted 3 : Drake 's Deception , they found a bug in the game just three days before shipping that would have crashed the PS3 console . Thankfully they were able to patch it in time , but you see what I mean ? Going more and more real means that if you don 't want a game to have a shit - ton of bugs , you have to devote more and more time to it . For me , that 's fine . I wish more developers would take the time to hold back and get it right . If anything , that is rewarded with player loyalty as we feel the developers want to take the time to make us happy . Granted , that can go both ways . Just look at the backlash with all the delays of Mighty No . 9 . Another thing is that games that shoot for that point are often pretty ugly . People complain that games have way too much gray and brown in them , well , that 's part of the fact that they are shooting for realism . Most apartments have white walls and tan carpets . Most cities are gray and dismal . Not everywhere can be Seattle or Tokyo . So your palate of colors gets very limited the more realistic you shoot for . The biggest problem with a game that has a unique style is that you are almost certainly condemning it to be niche . Remember all the games I listed above ? From Persona 5 to Mirror 's Edge , one thing they have in common is that they don 't appeal to a mass market . There are so many games I can think of with a fascinating unique style . Flower , ABZU , The Wolf Among Us , Journey , Borderlands , and one thing they all have in common is that they are niche . Borderlands is the most mainstream , but even it doesn 't have the mass draw that other games do . For whatever reason , people are just drawn more to the realism side of the spectrum . Something I will never understand . Then there 's the fact that the Uncanny Valley of facial animation is lost on you . Without exception , it 's gone . With realism they can use motion capture tech , and it is getting better and better at making facial animations that look like real people . Stylization has that concept forever beyond its reach . After all , if the feature of a character are off from normal people , you can 't believe that they are real when they talk . It 's like how a cartoon can have good lip - synching , but you still know it 's a cartoon . That 's just how it goes . But that 's no excuse to skimp on the facial animations . I 'm talking to you , Life is Strange . So many of the more emotional scenes in that game would have been better if we could see the character 's emotions better . Posted on December 4 , 2016 by Lucien 1 In 2013 , there debuted a game that was not only my favorite game for the PS3 , but also one of my favorite games of all time . It starred a duo who I have not only loved as characters , but written Critical Examination posts about . My contention is that both of them have given up something in order to survive in the world of this series . The name of this series means the last part of yourself that you are willing to throw away in order to stay alive . Joel describes himself as a survivor to justify the horrible things he has done and continues to do throughout the first game . At the end , Ellie chose to make the sacrifice in order to continue living . Will the next game keep that idea going ? From what I have seen so far , absolutely . Let 's take a look at the trailer . Alright , we start off seeing somebody who we don 't know tuning a guitar . I love how detailed at all is . They start to play , and a familiar voice can be heard . The song is a miserable one about how she is no longer a good person , and to be seen as good is wrong . While singing , we see somebody coming into the house . We don 't see his face , as he walks through what looks to be a real bloodbath . A lot of people died in there , recently . The man is holding a gun , so maybe he will be the next one that our girl Ellie decides to waste . Sucks to be him . However , as he gets to the door where she 's playing , another familiar voice asks her a question - what are you doing , kiddo ? Joel 's back , and as the paternal figure he has always been , he 's with his young charge . I 'm curious to see how their father - daughter relationship has grown over the last few years . Ellie has done some growing up , and since she 's covered in blood when we get a close - up of her , she clearly has gotten used to a violent life . He then asks - are you really going to go through with this ? I think this question has significance . If my theory is right , and The Last of Us represents the last part of yourself that you are willing to give up to survive , then his question is asking her if she is willing to make the sacrifice once - again . Another instance has been put to her to make the sacrifice of her humanity to survive . To which she responds - I 'm going to kill every last one of them . So , yeah . She is willing to make the sacrifice . Joel being her surrogate father has come full circle , and now his way of surviving has passed on to her . There are a lot of things that I am curious about , though . For instance - what happened to Tommy ? Why did they leave ? Did something bad happen ? There are a lot of unanswered questions , and I am so stoked to see what those are . No release date , but I am a patient man when it comes to Naughty Dog . They don 't release games half - done , so I got nothing but time . Posted on May 16 , 2016 by Lucien Reply I have heard so many people bitching about modern gaming . They say that it 's all just interactive movies . I vehemently disagree with that assertion . However , I will say that the cues that games have taken from movies have almost all been for the best . Granted , the insane cutscenes of Metal Gear Solid 4 were more than a little much . But the thing that gets me is just how far gaming has come in terms of using subtle details to tell stories . This is something that the newest and final entry in the Uncharted franchise did SO well , and I am in love with it because of that . Of course , only a studio like Naughty Dog could have pulled this off . I don 't know what writers they have doing the dialogue for those games , but I demand that those people get paid their worth in gold . Because they deserve it . That 's not to say that all the team isn 't amazing . But the thing that truly gets to me is the way that they handle dialogue . And as the tech has gotten better , the performances have gotten better to . I remember that final moment in their previous game , The Last of Us . I 've talked about this scene extensively . Ellie finally reveals how she got infected , and how it started a chain reaction of people in her life dying and her blaming herself for all of it . That weight she carried has shaped her as a character . In that final moment , she demands that Joel tell her the truth about what happened with the Fireflies . He lies right to her face , and we get to see that last look . Where she is accepting his lie and moving forward . It 's all done through subtle facial animations and us looking her right in the eye for those couple of seconds . That was awesome . However , the step up in visual fidelity took the cake for story - telling that can be done using not a single word . When Nate and Elena learn the truth of the ultimate fate of the Founders of Libertalia , ( this isn 't a spoiler , by the way . The name of where the game was headed was in the promotional material ) , and you hear Nate talking about it with such reverence for the history and such sadness for how pointless the whole affair was and how sad he is to see what happened to these great people , you cut away from him talking and see Elena just looking at him . The look on her face says it all . She realizes that he is someone who can never be satisfied with life as a typical person . You can see gears working in her head as she realizes that this man and his love of history is everything . That 's something that will never die . And if he tries to live a normal life , this cycle of deception and lies will repeat itself . All of that is without her saying a single word . By the time she does speak , the audience has learned so much about her character , and what she 's thinking . This could only be done with the visuals of the current generation . I honestly say that if people are complaining about this sort of thing and how games have become this way , then I genuinely don 't know what to tell them . I love this level of visual fidelity . I like that games have now reached a point where things can be said without a line of dialogue using just a character 's facial expressions . If you ask me , I would love it if games could take a few more cues from the more subtle aspects of film . Like how David Fincher is able to use empty space to signify things like an absent husband or an empty life . We have reached a point in gaming and story - telling that the visuals of a game can be used to set up a narrative in a greater way than we ever could have before . I cannot wait to see what Naughty Dog has in store for us next . A lot of people are talking about an Easter egg in this game that shows a poster of a woman who is pregnant , has red hair , holding a gun , and the front of it has the font that was used for The Last of Us . A lot of people were stoked , thinking that it 's Ellie 's continued story . Yeah , not really . For starters , Ellie wouldn 't need to wear the gas mask . She is immune to the infection and the spores that come along with it . I have a theory of my own - it 's her mother . I believe that this next game is a prequel where we get to learn Ellie 's story . If you read the letter that Ellie has from her mother when you are playing her for a time , you learn that her mother had something important to tell her about who she is and her birth . I get the feeling that the girl 's immunity was no accident . Now we 'll get to learn the truth . So exciting ! It 's a very cool time to game . " These are some of history 's greatest pirates , and they all perished in an instant . At this very table . " - Nathan Drake , Uncharted 4 : A Thief 's End Posted on March 12 , 2016 by Lucien 6 There is a YouTuber named Vee who I really need to give some credit to . I watch his videos and I often don 't finish them because his videos have given me so much to talk about . This post is no exception . In fact , here 's a link to his channel , just so I feel like I 'm not being a complete dick to this guy . It 's only fair to give credit where it 's due . I wrote a long time ago about the last season of Legend of Korra . I didn 't like it . There was WAY too much plot crammed into far too few episodes . They needed to space that out more . Like having the season go to 20 episodes or something . It was insane how crammed that was . I didn 't like it . It effed with the pacing and made it impossible for there to be any character development . Which was important , considering the fact that it was clear that the villain in this season was meant to be somewhat likable . Or at least someone where we don 't outright hate her . She was supposed to be sympathetic . That made sense . Given how perfect the previous season was , it just felt like a step in the wrong direction . The elephant in the room , though , was the big twist at the very end of the series . A twist that had NO build - up and came right the fuck out of nowhere . Anyone who knows how I overanalyze stuff will be able to see my opinion of this is going . I didn 't like it . Let me make something VERY clear - I have no problem if there is a gay , lesbian , bi , trans , whatever character in a fictional work . For real , it doesn 't bother me at all . But there 's a caveat to this - it has to make sense . It has to feel like this isn 't just something being shoe - horned in to either make some political or something statement . That 's how good story - telling works . I have the same problem with any kind of character relationship that seems forced . Relationships have to feel like they are building . It has to feel like it developed over time and is real . Let me give you an example . Whoever the writers are at Naughty Dog studios , those people are utter geniuses . Using only dialogue , they are able to make relationships that not only feel real , but also are ones that we can emotionally connect to . They released a piece of DLC to their game The Last of Us where we get to meet Ellie 's friend Riley . In the course of a DLC that takes a couple hours , not only do they introduce their relationship as friends , but you get to see it develop . When Ellie ends up kissing Riley , that feels like it was real , because we got to know and care about these characters . Their relationship wasn 't some forced thing to fill a quota . Granted , Naughty Dog is very SJW friendly ( a fact that has recently bit them in the ass with their latest game and a little controversy surrounding it . Hopefully that was a lesson to them about pandering to these people ) , but it still didn 't feel like pandering . This was a real relationship . If it weren 't for the STUPID ending to the DLC with a hope speech , it would have been really touching to know that Riley is going to die . Like if they had had it be very uncathartic . With Ellie and her just waiting , and eventually Riley turning , while she doesn 't . Given the emotional weight she was carrying , that would have fit . Or hey , while we 're talking about The Last of Us , let 's talk about Joel and Ellie . What Joel does at the end of that game is something that has a lot of gamers getting into heated debates . I got into one myself when someone tried to postulate that it is Joel who is the real villain of the game . I argue that he isn 't , and there 's a reason . Over the course of this game , you see a man who became an emotional brick wall soften and have a paternal side that was long dead be woken up because of this little girl in his charge . She becomes like a daughter to him . When he is running with her out of the hospital , listen to what he says to her . Compare that to what he said to his actual daughter at the very beginning , and it makes sense . This man lost everything . Now , he is about to lose everything again . So he chooses to sell humanity up the river in order to save the person he cares for most . To hold on to his regained connection to the human condition , he basically sentences humanity to death . I kind of love that . Not only is the moral ambiguity awesome , but it makes sense . The reason we don 't hate Joel is because we understand why he 's doing it . This is a man who doesn 't want to lose the only person he cares for . It 's kind of great . It makes Ellie 's acceptance of his lie that much more compelling , because she has her own lines that she has to make peace with . Do you see what I 'm talking about ? I legitimately do not care if there is some sexuality in a fictional work , so long as it makes sense . Korra and Asami 's relationship came right the fuck out of nowhere . There was no build - up . We never saw them getting close . Hell , the series never even committed to it anyway , so why bring it into the series at all ? ! The SJW community gets all raving and shit when there is an LGBT relationship in a series . They don 't care about context , because nuance is this weird form of witchcraft to these people . They can look at it , but they don 't understand it . Posted on February 14 , 2016 by Lucien Reply Just recently , I did a review on a game called Firewatch . It was made by two of the writers of the first season of Telltale 's The Walking Dead episodic game . Those two had amazing talent , but they wanted to make something completely original , instead of sticking with Telltale 's formula of just taking old IPs and giving them an episodic take . A tactic which has had mixed results . Sometimes it 's awesome , like with The Wolf Among Us . Other times it 's mediocre or outright boring . Like their takes on Jurassic Park and Game of Thrones . While neither one is bad , both of them are lacking something . A vital spark that the first season of The Walking Dead had in spades . That thing was great use in having characters shape stories , almost entirely through dialogue . Which through brought to Firewatch incredibly well . The opening of this game has you shaping the life of the main character , and helping tell his decisions , either good or bad . Here was my first playthrough . But this got me to thinking about something I saw on a game trailer for the new Doom that is coming out in a month or so . Someone in the comments was saying that buying this new game was a waste of money , since all modern games are is interactive movies . I started to think about that . And I want to talk about it , because the thing is - I actually disagree with that sentiment . There are elements of film , but it 's so much more . But while the person making that sentiment was begrudging this fact , I 'm not . This might just be my most inflammatory Critical Examination post , because I know that my opinion on this issue is unpopular . Once I am done , I will leave the comments open for you all to give me all the shit you want . If games are just interactive movies , then I suppose the first thing we have to have is a definition of what makes a movie . A film is a visual medium . You have characters on a screen acting out a story . The story is written typically in a three - act structure , with the performances and the visual elements coming together to have us ( the audience ) taking something away from that story . Or , in Michael Bay 's case , we just watch shit blow up until the credits . Which , while critics in ' Murica pan these films left and right ( and the Internet is right along with them ) , these films are big bucks in places like China . There 's a reason that the climax of the last film was Hong Kong . China is in love with these movies . And for those of you who are part of this " why don 't we have more minorities in these movies ? ! " camp , there 's an answer . In foreign markets , they like white action heroes . There 's actual market research to show this . The Asian communities in - particular love to watch whitey kill people . You wanna call racism ? Well then , you 're calling the Chinese racist . Against you . Work that out however you need . Films typically are defined by the strong visual performance , along with strong acting . At least if the film is done well . Sure , you sometimes get stuff like God 's Not Dead or Paranormal Activity , or even something truly amazing like Samurai Copor The Room . But the best films the ones where you have all the elements coming together to tell a visual story with the characters having some form of growth by the end . Hell , even action films can have that , as shown in a rather fantastic video detailing what 's wrong with modern action movies ( linked here ) . Since films are a visual medium , the simple rule is - show , don 't tell . Don 't feed the audience long bouts of exposition . Instead , show them the elements of the story . Some exposition is fine , but keep it to a minimum . Your visual elements have to make the story work . Otherwise you get boredom like Tales of Earthsea . Now that we know the rules of a film , let 's ask one simple question - do video games fit in with this structure ? Here 's a game that you 'd think would be the quintessential answer to the question . After all , it has two main characters . The story seems to have three arcs . The characters grow and change over time . And the whole thing is done visually . There are elements you can collect along the way , but the fact is that it still follows the " show , don 't tell " rule pretty well . But the truth about this game is not so simple . The thing about this game is the fact that while there are intense moments in the game , what separates it from a film is the fact that you are inside of the experience . You are with Ellie when she is being hunted by David . You are with Joel as he is running from the infected with his daughter in his arms . All of these things are with you in the driver 's seat . Only through your actions do the events play out . And while there is no choice in how the events play out , the game makes it feel like it fits . You couldn 't change what happened . The tragedy of that game was destined to play out as it did . And it made for one of the most emotionally - gripping stories of all time . Another thing the game had that no film did is the little moments between Joel and Ellie . Would you have cared as much about them without the little bits of conversation ? Like when you are walking through the city , and the two share thoughts ? When they learn little tidbits about one - another , through dialogue that you can sometimes skip . Pieces of character development that add so much to the story . Like when you first come upon the monkeys at the University . You can chase after them and see a whole dialogue play out between Joel and Ellie . Or how , if you explore around , they get to talking about the merits of college , and you find out some of Joel 's history when he was growing up . This sort of attention to detail is something that film simply couldn 't do . I hear that a film version of this game is being made , and I honestly think it has no other option than to suck . Partly because of the darkness of the plot material , and partly because it can 't capture those moments and make these two characters seem like real people . This game has an ugly reputation to the extreme in a lot of gaming circles . The hipsters gamers were in love with it . I think that while it isn 't nearly as good as they say it is , it isn 't as terrible as other gamers say . It isn 't just a " walking simulator . " There is more to the plot , and it 's stuff you get to find out on your own . This is a game that kind of blows the idea that all modern games are just interactive movies out of the water , if you ask me . Why ? Because of how it is made . I honestly believe that part of the reason that the GG side of the fence despises this game so much was based on the fact that it was falsely advertised . The first trailers for this game made it seem like the house being abandoned had a much creepier vibe than the game actually did . If they had told this story for what it is , I bet that while it wouldn 't be liked by the people who hate it , they would have just written it off . Oh , and there was the fact that the games media was stroking this game 's nuts SO hard . That was also a real problem . This game is a send - up to nostalgia and coming home . You do this by exploring the house . You interact with objects and go through the house . You can put on an old mix tape that the main character made on a cassette . Going through the house and finding all these novelties is meant to evoke emotions that you have when you have lived away from home for a long time and come back . I refuse to believe that some of the people in my audience haven 't had this experience at least once in their life . Like when you go back to an old fort you made as a kid or something . The game was meant to be about those nostalgic moments . Could a film really do that ? I don 't think so . Movies about nostalgia tend to lay it on WAY too thick . Like making the nostalgia the absolute best thing ever . We have enough of that stupidity on Tumblr , don 't we ? Or Buzzfeed ( the absolute worst " news " site on the Internet ) . The Internet 's obsession with nostalgia is what has fueled hipster culture . But the thing about Internet nostalgia is that while it may make people totally cool with watching the first Star Wars movie all over again with a fresh coat of paint , this wasn 't that . Films that glorify nostalgia make it all about how amazing nostalgia is . But despite what " Only a 90 's Kid Would Remember " posts say , real nostalgia isn 't like that . It 's a quiet experience , with memories coming back in a subtle way . I genuinely can 't think of one film that does that element . Much less does it right . The Mass Effect series was brilliant . Were it not for the TERRIBLE ending to the franchise ( I have literally ZERO intention of playing the new game . EA burned me to the bone , and I 'm done with them ) , this would have gone down as one of the greatest franchises in gaming . The first two games had me in love . Hell , the first two and 7 / 8 games had me in love . No joke , right up to when they went back to Earth , Mass Effect 3 had me enraptured . It did everything right ! If I could only figure out how the fucked up the last act of this game so much . But while these games did have a cinematic quality to them , there is one thing that they had which no film could have - the Codex . The Codex was the backbone of these games . Well , that and the character interactions . For real , who can honestly just go through the game and not want the dialogue and whatnot ? That 's what makes these characters so fun ! Anyway , the series had an ever - growing encyclopedia of information about the universe the game took place in , which you could consult at any time if there was something you were interested in . Whether it was something about the planet you are on , or the technology of that universe . Everything in that franchise followed a strict set of rules , set out in the Codex . Well , everything up until the very end of the third game , but enough people have bitched about that . Mass Effect was a science fiction game in the same vein as Star Trek - talky and techie . You had characters talking to people , doing stuff , then talking to other characters about the stuff they just did . Then you would have them wrap up little mission , which are framed just like episodes . The second game did this almost flawlessly . The loyalty missions for characters are my favorite , because they allow you to get into the minds of the characters and learn who it is you 're fighting beside . Each mission was unique , and depending on your actions , had a conclusion that could run the emotional gamut . For a game to basically have missions which are like episodes of an old sci - fi TV show is amazing . It is something that you couldn 't possibly duplicate in a film . I 'm glad they scrapped the idea for a film based on the games . It just couldn 't be done . The universe and the characters in it are just too massive to possibly do without a shit - ton of exposition . A film can 't have the Codex , after all . So where does this leave us ? Are games like films ? The truth is - no . They aren 't . Those who want to complain that games are not like they used to be back in the days of the original Doom can stuff their criticisms right up their ass . because the fact is that video games take the best elements of film , television and even books and shove them together . They are the culmination of all the great story - telling art , and I love that . Some of them can even tell fairy - tales , in the same vein as old story - books . Like The Unfinished Swan . I think the criticism of games comes from the fact that people lament the loss of the old 2D games . It is these people who don 't want to come into the 21st century of gaming . Which is weird , considering that Steam is absolutely brimming with games for those kinds of people . Nostalgia is just as big in gaming as it is everywhere else . It 's the reason a spiritual successor to Banjo Kazooie has been made . I 'm not saying that they are bad people because they want something else from gaming . I 'm just saying that they are dissing on this medium and I think their criticism are more than a little unfair . But maybe I 'm just some hipster . Let me know what you think down in the Comments . And be sure to Like this post and sub to me . Because I 'm awesome and shit . Posted on November 19 , 2015 by Lucien Reply In Feminist Frequency 's review of Rise of the Tomb Raider , there was a statement that has driven me out of my mind because of how stupid it was . The whole review is dumb , and you can watch a very good review of her review ( linked here ) , but the statement that got on my nerves is - video games don 't seriously look at violence . A statement so unbelievably uninformed and not true that it blows my fucking mind . And once - again confirms to me that the Anita Sarkeesian and the lackey who she had make this video ( because the bitch is too fucking lazy to do it herself ) do not play video games on the regular . Oh , and clearly they cannot edit videos for shit . The sound quality in that review is SO bad . But that 's not the point . Let 's talk about the stupidity of this sentiment . I think back to the scene in The Last of Us , where Ellie is being hunted by David . You eventually get knocked unconscious and then wake up , having to crawl toward his machete . David is beating the crap out of you the entire way . You can see that Ellie is in a lot of pain , knowing that in all likelihood , she is about to die . When you finally get to that machete , it is one of the most emotionally - powerful scenes in the game , when she is hacking the man 's face to pieces , and Joel pulls her off . It 's the big moment when Ellie realizes what this world that she lives in is turning her into . She 's seen how Joel has been turned by the violence and the brutality . She doesn 't want to end up that way . However , forces beyond her control have shown that that escape is impossible , and all she can do is fight back . It 's a cruel , painful look at a girl who just wants to survive , in a merciless world . Yeah , that doesn 't look at the nature of violence at all . Nope . There is that bit in Heavy Rain , where you are helping a father cut off his own finger , to save his child . You have to help this man mutilate himself , for the express purpose of not letting the only person he has left die . When you hear him scream , it hurts you . It 's one of the reasons I can 't play that game again . Listening to that hurting man die was the hardest thing I 've had to do in any game . But nope , that wasn 't looking critically at violence . How about in Bioshock Infinite , when Elizabeth realizes that Booker is a man who has killed people . Lots of people . He is not a good guy , yet he 's the person she 's stuck with . The scene where he kills someone in front of her , and she tries to run away . That confrontation when he makes her see that violence is something he had to get used to . Or when you see inside the museum , where Slade talks about Booker 's violent history in war , which made him a changed man . It was the thing that destroyed him inside , seeing what he did at Wounded Knee . That was not an examination of violence in any way . Then there 's the scene in Beyond : Two Souls , where Jodie is locked under a stairwell at the party she attends . It puts the choice on you . You , the player , decide how horrible it gets . Eventually , Aiden loses control , and you can 't stop . The game won 't let you stop . It makes you understand that Aiden isn 't just a character in this universe . He 's also you . You are the spirit , and your will gives it direction . So it is you who is tormenting those kids . There 's a hard lesson to have in a video game . Come to think of it , that lesson was something that Metal Gear Solid 2 had as well . How about in Until Dawn , where you have to make a choice , more than once , who lives and dies ? The scene where you have the buzz saw and two friends strung up was really horrible . When you see the guy getting cut in half ( I chose Ashley . What can I say , my romantic side didn 't want her to get cut in half by a giant buzzsaw ) , and his blood and guts go everywhere , it 's so hardcore . Afterwards , when you unhook Ashley and are leading her out , with both of them sounding like they are on the brink of losing it , it feels genuine . Not to mention later on , when Chris and Ashley are hooked up to a contraption that is going to kill one of them if Chris doesn 't kill one of them first . Yeah , that 's not a critical examination of violence . Because this Feminist Frequency puppet says so ! Or when Big Boss goes into the infected lab in Metal Gear Solid V . There , everyone inside is infected , and the only thing you can do is kill them . There comes a point where they all stand up and salute you , as you execute them . You have Emmerich deriding you , with the blood of every single person in that lab who you kill on your hands . Does that count as an examination of violence ? ! Wait , that game has a chick who isn 't dressed like a nun , so I 'm sure that it 's nothing but Patriarchy soup to you people . The fact is that the nature of violence in video games is something that is examined . All the time . If the person who made this review actually played games , they would know that . The stupid fuck . I 'm with Dishonored Wolf on this - where does she find these people ? Either he doesn 't play games , or he is deliberately lying to sell a narrative . Given that Sarkeesian herself is a con artist , neither answer would shock me . In fact , I wouldn 't be shocked if it was a little of both . Or a lot . Depending . No wonder the SJW types liked Gone Home so much . No violence . No hard questions . Nothing even remotely challenging . I don 't hate that game , but I do like a game that at least is trying to tell me something worth listening to . I did like Everybody 's Gone to the Rapture , after all . But this idea that all video games just trade on violence and are filled with nothing but violence is absurd . It 's ridiculous and insulting and it fucking pisses me off . There are so many games that have talked about how bad violence is . Or at least shown it , but not in some preachy way where you have to be force - fed " Violence EVIL ! " Games like This War of Mine , where violence is grim and not only can destroy your surviving group , but also their morale . Posted on October 28 , 2015 by Lucien Reply Perhaps I haven 't talked enough about how much I like Life is Strange . Now that I 've gotten past my rage point about the ending to the series , I can 't honestly hate it . It 's like my favorite book - The Amber Spyglass . That book has one of the most miserably - depressing endings that I 've ever read . Sad endings don 't bother me . At least , not on their own . Where the Red Fern Grows is the saddest book I 've ever read . But I don 't hate the ending . Okay , that bit right at the end is cheesy as fuck . I mean , the tie in to the title is the ferns growing on the dogs ' graves ? Weak ! But everything leading up to that felt right . It was sad . So sad , that when my teacher was reading this to the class during lunch in 5th Grade , she couldn 't finish . No joke , that was the first time I ever got to do public speaking . It was when I went up and finished that story . It was so hard not to cry in front of the class . Felt very cool , too . I was the one she picked . That was special . Sad endings , however , have to still make sense within the context of their universe . Which was my problem with The Amber Spyglass . That ending comes out of nowhere , is unfathomably depressing , and there 's no reason for it ! In fact , it is so bad that I actually listed it in a post of the top 10 plotholes in things I like . That bad . The ending to Life is Strange is much the same . It is pointlessly depressing , for no reason . Not to mention all the unanswered questions . For a game that went so far out of its way to build up the quest for the truth , there were too many things that felt unanswered . Which leaves me suspecting that there is a sequel coming out . That bothers me , because I honestly can 't see it improving . But enough of all that . The reason that I am bringing up this game , for hopefully the last time , is because I want to talk about a really big flaw in this game , that unfortunately there is no way to fix . If they wanted to , they could redo the ending . But they won 't . However , the flaw that I am going to talk about now can 't be fixed , due to the limitations of the game 's engine . That flaw is the facial expressions . When I was a little kid , facial expression in gaming didn 't mean much , to me . After all , gaming was too young for stuff like that . Character thoughts and feelings had to be expressed with exposition . I didn 't blame the games for that . It was the tools they had to work with . Legend of Zelda : Ocarina of Time is a great game , but the fact is that it is simply the story of the hero 's journey . It makes some point about how hard it is to grow up and how leaving childhood behind is never easy ( something that observing Tumblr has taught me oh so well , as it is filled with people kicking and screaming to stay in their childhoods ) , but the fact is that this wasn 't an especially complicated narrative . Wonder if I 'll get any Nintendo fanboys ( or girls ) who will come and try and make a dissertation to me that I 'm wrong . Anyway , the fact is that due to the limitations of what they had , old games couldn 't tell stories about characters that involved too much emotion , because everything had to be conveyed through text or dialogue . And early games were known for how atrocious their dialogue was . I mean , have you heard some of the stuff from games like the first Silent Hill ? Yeah , that 's pretty bad . But that 's just how things were , early on . Gaming was a young medium , so it could only get so deep . Let 's have another brief digression to talk about something else - facial expression in other visual mediums . For those who know , one of the hallmarks of the series Cowboy Bebop was the fact that characters could say one thing , but through both dialogue and facial expression , say two or more things and once . Anime has had some truly amazing pieces of facial expression . Since it is a medium that is overly - expressive , emotions tend to be shown big . Really , really big . It 's like a neat amount of melodrama , that can be combined with subtlety as well . Like in the original Fullmetal Alchemist series . Unlike its successor , the original series was a very subtle story about two brothers and their journey to reclaim their bodies . Over the course of the series , the two learn the true meaning of sacrifice , and were it not for the STUPID ending that is a complete deus ex machina ( for real , memories as equivalent exchange for someone 's life ? Give me a break … ) , it would have been one of the greatest tragic tales ever told . With Alphonse having given everything , and Edward realizing that while he could never get back when he lost , all he could do is move forward . Cathartic ? In a way . The series was about sacrifice and loss . Alphonse would make that final sacrifice , to give everything about to the brother he loved so much . Film , however , uses facial expression in a much bigger way . Watch the film The Bad Sleep Well , and you will see what I mean . Akira Kurosawa was a master of using subtle acting to tell great stories . It helps that he was working with Toshiro Mifune , one of the greatest actors to ever live . There is a great scene in the film where it is just three people in a room . You have Mifune 's character , who is undercover . A man that he is framing , to keep himself out of the line of fire . And the person in charge , who could destroy him if he is caught . Just through the use of expression , you can see the story get told . It is a scene where you have a man go from being nearly in trouble , to being alone again , planning his next move . There is almost no dialogue . It 's all done through expression . That 's amazing ! Film is the medium to capture this the best . The first time that I genuinely saw what facial expression could be like in video games was in a little game called Final Fantasy X . In that game , we have the story of a man who is thrown out of his world and forced to fight to defend another . It 's a very emotional story , focusing on the young man 's inner hatred of his father , his feeling of helplessness at being trapped where he is , and the fact that he wants to go home , but can 't . It 's a very hardcore game . It also has some incredible use of just voice acting and facial expression to sell moments . Like the following scene … This scene runs the emotional gamut ! You have Yuna facing down the fact that she has lost her faith and feels lost and alone . You have Tidus offering her a way out , appealing to the fact that he wants to go home , and giving her a way to leave all of her pain behind . You have Yuna hating the fact that she can 't take him up on it . Then , you have both of them sharing a romantic moment together , letting their love shine through . Out of context , that is not the easiest thing to really see , but it 's there all the same . Not only is that scene emotionally intense , but you can feel their emotions through the use of facial expression . It was the first time that I saw that video games can tell emotional stories without a ton of exposition . Or at least exposition alone . In recent years more than any other , video games are capitalizing on it . Without the incredible facial animation , would the scene at the end of The Last of Us be anywhere near as good ? Would you be able to sell the emotional gamut that that scene has ? Where Ellie is confronting Joel about his obvious lie , then choosing to accept the lie ? Without that amazing facial animation , how else could it be done ? Modern gaming has done incredible things with facial animation , partly through the use of motion capture cameras . This technology was first pioneered in games like Heavy Rain , but didn 't really become the amazing force that it was until a game called L . A . Noire . That game used facial expression to help you solve crimes . If the game hadn 't felt the need to embrace the Grand Theft Auto side of Rockstar 's repertoire , then maybe it could have gone further with it . But you take the good with the bad . Video games have come a LONG way from where they started . Games that would otherwise be rather unremarkable are made remarkable because of the fact that they focus on narrative - driven stories . Games like Bioshock Infinite . I think that 's a great game , but the reality is that without the truly wonderful characters and really insane plot , that game 's mechanics aren 't especially remarkable . This is the thing that makes modern gaming truly special . Which leads me back , finally , to Life is Strange . The biggest thing hold this game back , in my opinion , was the facial animation . The world of that game has some amazing depth and detail . And the voice acting was at the top of its class . While the dialogue could be utterly - ridiculous at times , it is the sheer emotional dedication from every character that sells it . You feel for these people . But I think you would feel for them more if the facial animation was better . Let me give you an example . This is my absolute favorite scene in the entire series . Hands - down , this is where the peak of the emotion in this game comes in . I had been wanting there to be a scene where Max tells Chloe the truth about what happened in the alternate timeline , along with how she feels about what she has done to Chloe in so many timelines , and nowhere was it more on display than right here . But there is one major problem - you can HEAR the pain in Max 's voice . You can hear her getting torn up and on the verge of breaking down . But you can 't see it . This scene could have been SO much better with better facial animation . For one , why isn 't Max crying ? It sounds like she is . Everything in that delivery says that Max is crying when she tells Chloe the truth about William and what she did to her in the alternate timeline . Hearing the hurt is great , but this isn 't an audio medium . It 's a visual one . I wanted to see Max 's pain . I wanted to see Chloe 's uncertainty and sudden diffusion of her anger as she is watching a girl that she may or may not be falling for sobbing in front of her . Not only would it have made that scene a real tear - jerker , but it would have made so many other scenes that much better . At times , the facial animation works . But there are too many places where it works against the game , like these people are marionettes on strings . Great facial animation means something , in gaming . Now more than ever , games can have great narratives that make you feel for the characters in them . It 's why I went from hate to love when getting to know the characters in Until Dawn . It 's why Joel and Ellie are two of my favorite characters in anything ! Great voice acting is a great thing , but it can only go so far . We need gaming to deliver something more . Without characters to deliver on that , it is impossible to really take in how much great narratives can do in this medium . But let me know what you all think . Am I totally off - base on this issue ? Are you able to get all the emotional depth you need out of just voice acting ? Or does all of this seem pretentiously stupid ? I wouldn 't blame you if you thought that way . I do overanalyze everything , from what I hate to what I love . Let me know in the Comments . " No ! Not this way ! Chloe , I can 't keep fixing everything if all I 'm going to do is just break it , over and over again ! " - Max Caulfield , Life is Strange
|
So there I was , in my first year teaching , placed in a job that was half - time library and half - time special education resource center . I 'd just spent the last five years getting a dual - endorsement in elementary education and special education . Part of that included classes on teaching PE and music , but not library . Long story short … sometimes I made stuff up . I have a passion for reading and turning kids into lovers of literature , but not for the Dewey Decimal System and definitely not for keeping hundreds of books in neat and tidy rows . I had decided it would be a great idea to have the 5th grade class do a biography project . Great idea in theory , kind of a hot mess in practice . Thinking I 'd structured it well enough , I let them loose in the library . They were free to work on the floor , at a table , in the primary book nook with a clipboard , or wherever worked best for them . Lack of structure and clear expectations can typically result in poor performance at a minimum . If I 'd been lucky , it all would have ended in a mass of disappointing loose - leaf ramblings about pop stars and sports heroes . I wasn 't lucky , though . I had lessons to learn . My school was little and only had one class per grade level , in addition to a self - contained special education class for students with extreme behavioral needs . Most were never let out of the sight of a specially trained adult . The teachers were all well - versed in de - escalation techniques and physically restraining kids . I wasn 't . I hadn 't been around long enough to get that training . The hope of the program is for all the students to eventually get to a place where they can go back to a typical classroom . Small steps of inclusion are begun , usually by integrating the student into the specialist times . One of those students was in my library class that day . I loved that kid . LOVED him . He was sensitive , kind , and reflective . He also had an incredibly difficult time managing frustration , but had worked on on problem - solving strategies and calming techniques . As much as I 'm big on forgiving yourself and moving on , I think about this day as the day that I failed him . Kids were spread all over the library , and this was a big library by elementary school standards . Not being totally sure what I wanted from them or where they might struggle , I hadn 't given a particularly clear picture of what I 'd expected them to do and consequently had twenty - something children popping up hands or following me around asking for help . Instead of calling everyone together to redirect , I just kept putting out the small fires and failed to notice that one of them was about to explode … until he did . I 'm not anti - Incredible Hulk , it 's just that as a fictional character he 's much too close to the reality I have had the misfortune to experience that I cannot find him entertaining . Except for turning green and becoming a giant , Bruce Banner and so many students in behavioral classrooms go through essentially the same experience , just as this boy did . Fists balled , arms tense at his side , teeth clenched and breathing heavily , he went over a ledge and turned into a boy I didn 't even know . Libraries often have these metal , rolling book shelves that librarians use to move books from the checkout station back to their homes . They 're waist - high and heavy . He grabbed two , one with each hand , and started spinning and yelling and slamming them against shelves . Clearly , I needed help . I had library full of kids watching their peer toss around large , metal objects in a blind rage . I dialed his classroom … no answer . I dialed the office , but they also had no idea where to find his teacher or para - educator . My other problem was that where he was having his nuclear melt - down was between me and the rest of the class and between all of us and the door . I couldn 't get to them and we couldn 't get out . I had no idea what to do . My next move was about to be sending all my kids out the fire exit and setting off the alarm . It would have resulted in a visit from the fire department and a mass - evacuation of the entire school , but they would have been safe . Just before I sent them out , I heard his teacher 's laugh down the hallway . One thing I did know was that when a kid is freaking out like that , you don 't put yourself between them and the exit . I didn 't have much of a choice , but he definitely proved the advice to be correct . He had tossed the carts up against the open door , blocking the doorway . Scooting one back a little , I got my head out the door as far as I could and yelled his teacher 's name into the hallway . Not being able to see her , I just had to hope she would hear me . He charged at me and slammed the full length of his body against the cart I 'd moved and pinned me between the cart and the wall . This kid was big and had just started on a football team . It was not a comfortable experience . Instantly his teacher was at the door . In one movement , she flung the cart out of her way , kicked off her shoes , and hauled him out of the library . She was shorter than him and he could easily have out - weighed her , but in the blink of an eye we were all left in silence , staring at her empty loafers . The rest of class left with their teacher and I had a few minutes to reflect . Kids never get that out of hand without telling you in some way that it 's about to happen . Looking back , I saw that he had asked me for help several times , gradually turning redder and redder . Other students had asked first and I had asked him to wait as I wandered all over the library . He 'd asked politely and waited as long as he could . If I had paused long enough to check in with him or to tell him exactly who I would be helping before him or recognized his distress and given him an alternative task , it would not have been a moment remarkable enough for retelling . He came back later to apologize to me , but I also had to apologize to him . Serious work had been put in on his part to be accepted by this 5th grade class , and my lack of structure and overall inexperience had helped him to undo it all in a matter of minutes . For a kid like him , it gets to a place where the brain chemistry takes over and he is no longer in control . Every time I think about him , I wish I had heeded the signs and helped him keep his most hated part of himself in check in front of the people he most wanted to approve of him . And I think about him a lot . I 've prayed for him and hoped that life got better for him after 5th grade . The way that day went down is present in every interaction I have had with every student who deals with frustration . How do I keep them in control of their emotions ? And if I can 't do that , how to I help them preserve some dignity in the eyes of their peers ? That year was my one and only year at that school . In order to keep my position , I was told I would have to go back to school and become certificated to teach library . Already being dual - endorsed and not having found a deep love of Dewey and research sciences , I opted to take my chances on landing another special ed . job elsewhere in the district . For the next couple of years I bounced from school to school , mostly splitting my time half and half between buildings until finally settling at my current building , where I 've been for the last several years . This year I had an intern for a few weeks from a local high school . Students can apply for a program meant to expose them to a work environment and test out a career path before they even start applying for colleges . We loved having our kid with us in Room 1 . At the end there is a celebration breakfast where all the interns come together with their supervisors to share what they 've learned and say thank you . During the slide - show some students had put together , I saw students that had interned at salons , other schools , the governor 's office , mechanic shops , mortuaries , event planning companies , etc . I saw my intern sitting in Room 1 under our faux truffula tree made out of an old globe covered in tulle . And then I saw him . I recognized his face and his blue eyes . I recognized his name . He 'd made it to high school . He 'd applied to one of our special - focus high schools and been accepted . He 'd applied to be an intern and they trusted him enough to let him show up at a job site every day on his own . I couldn 't believe it . Seeing him on that screen was a rare moment where life actually gets tied up in a nice bow . My intern and I had just done some math a couple days before that made me feel old . We realized that he had been a 5th grader my second year teaching at a school I 'd taught at for just one year . Realizing that my intern was a junior and that the 5th graders from my first year teaching would be seniors , I thought about that day in the library and wondered and worried about that boy who had momentarily lost his mind on my watch . I prayed for him . And then days later , I saw him on a big screen with a proud grin . As I left the breakfast , skirting carefully around the outside of a room full of high school kids , I found him sitting at a table all by himself . Without even thinking about it , I sat down . He was only slightly bigger than he 'd been in 5th grade and his posture still slumped , but his face was more mature . After being reminded of my name and when he 'd known me , he lit up . " I knew you wouldn 't , " I assured him . We chatted about his school and where he 'd interned . Then a girl popped up behind him and covered his eyes . She made him " guess who , " and they laughed . How was he getting back to campus ? Had he seen so - and - so ? Was he hanging with the group later ? He had a friend . He had a whole group of friends . She 'd sought him out in a room full of people . He was miles away from the kid I knew in that library . My heart swelled . " Hey ! " he stopped me . " When you go back to school , will you tell them ? Tell them you saw me and tell them how good I 'm doing . Please . " You hear that middle school is a dangerous and scary place and that high school can be brutal . We work really hard at the elementary level to prepare kids for what comes next , but in the end you just have to hope it 'll be alright and send them on . You have to trust that the educators that come after you will love and fight for those kids as much , if not more , than you did . In his case , they must have . Caring adults must have built on the foundation of the ones that came before them and enabled him to get to a place where he could trust himself enough to form friendships and be successful at a competitive high school . " But he said to me , ' My grace is sufficient for you , for my power is made perfect in weakness . ' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses , so that the power of Christ may rest upon me . " - 2 Corinthians 12 : 9 2 . I 've watched kids get into cars with police officers to head into foster care . I know some kids that have seen more at 8 years old than I 've seen at 28 … more things than I will probably ever see , actually . 4 . I 've been kicked , hit , and head - butted . Along with that I 've had to physically restrain kids , one a 6 year old kindergartener , who are violent to the point hurting other kids and staff . 5 . I 've listened to a lot of media tell me , and about a million of my colleagues , that we 're not working hard enough , that we 're not smart enough , and that we don 't care enough about our students . The general consensus seems to be that the only thing wrong with this system is me , the teacher , and that 's disheartening ( like having furniture thrown at you wasn 't disheartening enough ) . But , that is a way bigger issue , is incredibly complex , and is not really why I started writing this list . Here 's why I started this list : to contrast it with this conversation . Sometimes kids come to hang out with me at recess . Sometimes it 's because they have disabilities that make large , unpredictable crowds seem like walking through a carnival haunted house . They 're never sure what strange and scary thing requiring social skills beyond their grasp is going to run up to them next . That kid with the sweet face and the soccer ball who said , " Hey , dude ! Wanna play ? " That 's like when I walked out the end of the haunted house at Wild Waves and a guy with a chainsaw started chasing me . Straight up panic . Whereas in my room they can talk about legos and Transformers to their heart 's content . But sometimes kids come hang out with me because they think I 'm awesome . One of my little gems was hanging out with me during his recess for the latter reason . He was chatting on and on about these girls at his previous school who had chased him down and tried to kiss him / get him to marry them / punch him in the nose during recess . He said , " I don 't know why they kept chasing me . I don 't even want to get married . " Here 's where my heart broke a little . He said , " Because all married people do is yell at each other . All the time . I don 't want to yell all the time or to hear people yell all the time , so I 'm not gonna get married . " Hm . That 's a pretty good reason . I said to him , " Friend , my mom and dad are married and they don 't yell at each other . " He looked really confused . " Sometimes they get mad , but they say things like , ' It hurt my feelings when - , ' or , ' I didn 't appreciate the way you - . ' " Might be a slightly glamorized version of my parents ' relationship , but I honestly never hear them yell at each other . They don 't often even get a little snippy . Weirdos . Anyway , there is no yelling in my classroom , either , even when I am really upset about something . It 's a promise I made to my students after they said I " was always yelling at them , " and that they were , " really mad and not going to listen to me anymore . " Really they had gotten in legitimate trouble and were trying to manipulate the situation by pushing some blame on me . It 's cool , that 's why they 're working with me in the first place . I wanted to say something like , " Well , quit ripping your work up into little shreds because you 'd rather be a lazy bum and I 'll quit telling you to stop it and get back to work . " I didn 't say that , though . I promised that I was not yelling at them and that I would never yell at them . After I made the promise , I did a little compare and contrast . I confronted them on their behavior in the calm , firm voice I 'd been using … and then I yelled at them . They thought it was funny , which is perfect because it diffused the tension . On top of that , it clarified my point and it built a little trust . I called that conversation back to his mind . " Remember how I don 't yell at you ? Even when I am very frustrated or you 've made a choice you shouldn 't have made or have hurt my feelings , I never yell at you . " He looked thoughtful , so I added , " So you don 't have to yell , either . " Truth is , he 's a kid who does yell , has thrown things , and has hit me when he 's angry . After a minute , he said , " Oh … and you could teach me to do that ? Will you ? " You could wait your whole teaching life for a kid to come up with that kind of internal motivation . I just wanted to cry and hug him . Did a kid really just ask me to teach him anger - management and appropriate communication skills ? Did that really just happen ? Yes , friend , I can teach you to do that . In fact , at this moment , it is all I want to do in the world . I don 't want to be a pastry chef and I don 't want to work at Old Navy . I want to teach you how to use your words to solve problems , how to read , how to write in complete sentences , and how to take on something that seems like a huge impossibility . If I ever think about quitting , I think about that kid . As a kid we had one of those Dutch doors where the top half could open independently of the bottom half . I always loved when folks would lean halfway into the kitchen to chat . In my head , Through the Ginger Window is just like that . I 'm inviting you to lean into my life through my open window . So let 's chat ! Consider each post an invitation to conversation . I 'd love to hear from you . The Latest : Livestock birth photography is not a thing … yet .
|
. . . my post from yesterday may have been slightly misconstrued . I never meant that people don 't care about our situation . That wasn 't the point I was trying to make at all . What I meant to say is that the world , life in general , goes on without you - whether you 're ready or prepared to handle it or not . There 's a lot on the DrummerFamily ( and DrummerExtendedFamily ) plates right now , and the world doesn 't really care - it 's going to keep throwing stuff at us , and we have to just suck it up , and try to carry on . So , it 's Friday . It 's technically a holiday weekend , even though the holiday doesn 't come until Tuesday . We 're going camping with the DrummerParents , and some other family . It should be a nice , relaxing weekend . Sunday we 've got a going - away party for some friends who are moving to Texas , Monday is our first meeting with the perinatologist to discuss the possibility , and tactics we can employ to increase the possibility , of having other children in the future . Then , Monday night , we 're going out to the DrummerIn - Laws for the 4th , and then we 're home Tuesday night . Should be a fun , busy couple of days , no ? The rest of town is basically flooded under , but our little patch of Pottstown is dry . We met with the grief counselor yesterday afternoon , and that went well . We go back next week . That 's the good news . The bad news is that DrummerMother - in - Law was in a pretty serious car accident last evening . Some doofus ran a red light , t - boned her new car ( which replaced a car that got totaled because of another car accident ) , and sent her to the hospital for a CAT scan . I guess everything came up negative , and she was home last night . But DrummerWife had to run out to Amish Country to get home to be with her mother right after dinner last night . You know , if there 's one thing I 've learned through all of this Aaron stuff it 's that it doesn 't matter what you 're going through - life just keeps happening , and the world doesn 't really care about your issues . LIFE IS GREAT ! = / I 've been thinking about Aaron a lot today . I 've been to the bathroom at my office here twice today to cry a little bit . I don 't know why , but today has just been really , really rough . I made the mistake of re - reading just about the entire blog today . That didn 't help at all . God , Aaron , I miss you so much . You 'll never know . You never had a chance . We meet with the grief counselor at 2 : 30pm today . It should help . . . Dear Aaron , Hi baby boy ! How are you doing up there ? It 's been four weeks since you left mommy 's arms and became an angel . What a crazy four weeks it has been ! The day that you actually passed , May 31st , was probably the worst day of my life . We were all so sad . It was so hard saying goodbye to you . Everyone knew you for 33 days , but I knew you for so much longer than that . You were with every single moment since November . I 'll never forget the day I found out I was pregnant - it was December 4th - very shortly after Thanksgiving . From that moment on all daddy and I did was talk about you and plan for what would happen when you came into our lives . Little did we know exactly how much our lives would change . April 28th - May 31st , they were the happiest , most nerve wracking days of my life . We lived for you and thought about you constantly . We sang , we told stories , we laughed , we cried , we cuddled and we LOVED ! We met some of the nicest people we have ever met , parents of your NICU buddies , your nurses ( they were the best weren 't they ? ) , and the doctors and surgeons . I am so glad that all of those people came into our lives and we will never forget them . They made our time with you better and made you feel the best you could - and most of the time , despite all that was going on , you really acted like you felt good . I can understand how towards the end your little body . . . it just couldn 't take it anymore . It 's okay that you had to leave us and I am glad that you are in a much better place with no pain and no wires or tubes . Now , we are slowly trying to adjust to life without you in it . I know that it will be a long process and we miss you every single day . It makes my day when I can visit with you in my dreams , or sit and look at your pictures and just spend time thinking about you and talking to you . I know that your spot in the memorial garden is visited frequently by your great grandpa , and many others . Daddy and I even made a special trip out there last week to be there with you . It was so nice . You know we 'll be posted by Aaron ' sMommy @ 11 : 56 AM 2 comments DrummerWife is scooting out to Amish Country today to visit with some family - should be an excellent way for her to spend the day , and not have to sit at home by herself . Yesterday , she went in to her office to see everyone there . In our group counseling session , one of the techniques they offered for mothers returning to work was to go into your office about a week before , and get all the " how are you doing ? " - type questions out of the way on your own terms , instead of on your first day back . Apparently it went pretty well . DrummerWife was happy to see everyone as it had been her first time back at work in almost 2 months . She seems to believe that she 'll be heading back to work on a mostly full - time basis next week , after the 4th . Yeah . I was a little leery of going into church yesterday - I was afraid of how DrummerWife or myself would handle a lot of people we hadn 't seen since before Aaron 's passing if they would say anything to us . I didn 't know if we could handle an onslaught of " oh , how are you two ? " and " I 'm so sorry for your loss " - type comments . Fortunately , that didn 't really happen . It was nice . Some people did give their condolences , and that was fine . Most people gave us enough emotional distance , I believe . It wasn 't bad at all . Wednesday , we meet with a grief counselor one - on - one ( well , two - on - one ) , so hopefully we 'll be able to handle that a little bit better than we did the group counseling . Here 's hoping . = / I think , anyway . This seem less . . . tremulous today . It helped that I was in a meeting all morning , and haven 't had to sit a desk staring at Aaron 's photo for 5 hours . It 's funny how little tolerance DrummerWife and I have for petty , stupid crap anymore . It 's almost like we 're subconsciously going , " You think you 've got it bad because you had to pay an extra $ . 02 for a gallon of gasoline ? Well , my baby just died . Life ain 't so bad now , is it ? " Well , on the bright side , Friday is here . It 's almost the weekend , and I 'm about 3 hours away from going home , and being at home for as long as I need to be . P . S . On a fun side - note , Baby On Your Six recieved its 10 , 000th visit sometime this morning . I take that as a bit of mixed blessing : I 'm thrilled to see that many people caring about DrummerWife and myself , and our baby boy . Unfortunately , I 'm also saddened by the reason for that many people to care about us . You 've touched a lot of lives , Aaron - thank you for being here as long as you were . Wish you could have stayed . I 'm having a really difficult time this week . I was so worried about DrummerWife staying home by herself this week while I went back to work - but she seems to be holding together better than I am . I had to leave work at noon yesterday , and I honestly can 't drag myself in today . I just feel so empty inside . . . and I know this is nothing more than depression talking , but I wish I could just lock myself up in our condo and not leave ; not see anyone ; and just sit here and cry . DrummerWife is going to call the grief counselor she was going to meet with next week and suggest we meet her as a couple . I think that 's an excellent idea . I need to talk to someone who can tell me how to at least fake being a productive member of society , and maybe convince me that hermitting myself away for an extended period of time isn 't the best option . I just feel like such a zombie - getting up , going to work , coming home - all pretending that I 'm okay . When I 'm just plain not . Not even close - I 'm miserable . I want to be alone . I want to find a quiet place where no one can find me and just cry . I miss Aaron so much and nothing , absolutely nothing , will ever bring him back to me . All I have are 33 days of fractured , tainted memories - tainted because they all end badly . I can 't recall ever being in any form of counseling before , so last night was my first experience , as far as I know . It was good . It was nice to be with other people who had a clue about what we were going through . There were people there in all different situations , from infant death to multiple miscarriages , and despite the differences between everyone 's story - there were a number of similarities as well . After the meeting , I have to admit , I was handling my emotions far more poorly than I had been previously . It was hard to hear everyone 's stories , and not have your own feelings and emotions dredged back to the surface , but it was still a good experience . I 'm honestly very glad we went , and I fully expect we 'll go back next month . Tonight is our first meeting with the parent counseling group at the hospital . It 's a group of parents who have lost children either through stillbirth , miscarriage , or infant death . It was recommended that we meet with this group , hear what they have to say and offer us , and see if we want to return next month . Personally , I look forward to it . I want to hear other stories , and meet other parents who at least have an idea of what we 're going through . Should be fun . I 'll let everyone know how it goes tomorrow . Let me tell you : Apparently , an individual who shall remain nameless ( but who has a sizable beef with my younger brother ) approached him , and actually uttered the words " So , hows your dead [ expletive removed ] nephew ? " When I heard this , my first instinct was , sadly , violence . I was angry . Disgusted , even . How could someone invoke Aaron in such a disgusting , subhuman manner ? Someone who never even KNEW me , my wife , and least of all never knew my son ? Now , after a few hours to meditate on it , I am simply embarrassed for this individual . That he is so base , and so blinded by hatred that he would utter such a horrible thing , much less at a grieving uncle . I can only hope this individual feels as embarrassed for himself as I feel for him . Long time , no type . I 've been busy , and honestly , haven 't had much to say . DrummerWife has been doing a spectacular job keeping everyone who 's still reading along informed . Not much is going on . We 're vacationing in the Outer Banks , and unfortunately , we have to return home on Sunday morning . I 'll be returning to work for the first time since the end of May on this coming Monday . I 'm afraid it might be like culture shock for me - I haven 't taken this much time off work , like , ever . I mean , it 's not like I 'm a workaholic - I 've been known to miss a day or two - but this is going on 2 + weeks , I believe . And then Monday - BAM ! - right back to work . Should be fun . Oh well - I 'll check in in a few days . Maybe post some vacation pictures . We 'll see . Later , everyone . Well yesterday wasn 't a beach day - so we spent the day walking and biking around time - today well made up for that . Today we spent the entire day down at the beach - like 10 - 4 : 30 with a short lunch break - and it was great . It is definitely just what we needed I think . Of course I have the photo frame of Aaron in my bedroom and my photo album in the living room so I can look at that at least once a day . And lots of things remind us of him . Josh got a little sad while watching a two year old toddler having a grand time in the surf - thinking of what might have been . But I am so glad that this opportunity was presented to us and I think we 're set to have a GREAT week ! Tonight we 're going out to dinner so that will be nice ! Hope everyone is well ! Well , the hubby and I are headed to the beach . We are at my parents house and we 're pretty much all packed up and ready to go . It will be nice - we are going with my mom and dad and sister and brother - in - law . The four of them happened to have a house already reserved and after the occurrences of the past 10 days or so they invited us to go along - we very gratefully accepted . Today we finished getting ready for vacation and we went to the Memorial Garden to visit with Aaron . My grandfather was apparently there today and my mom went at some point as well - so he was visited a lot . I am sure he loves the visitors . I talk to him a lot no matter where I am so I am sure he will be with us at the beach as well . One of the nurses gave us a great idea - that once in a while we could tie little notes to balloons and let the balloon go to send it up to Aaron - we thought that was a great idea . Well - we are supposed to have a computer at the beach house - if it works at all we 'll update and post some pictures . If not I hope everyone has a great week : ) That 's pretty much been the way it 's been Wednesday and today . Yesterday we went and visited Shippensburg University - where we met and spent the day walking around campus . It was nice . Today we came home , ran some errands , picked up a oaycheck , ran to the bank etc . We were greeted by LOTS of very nice sympathy cards . They are healing to read through and again reminds us how cared for we are . I know I promised a funeral recap - it was very nice . We sang Jesus Loves the Little Children , Jesus Loves Me , Eagle 's Wings , Children of the Heavenly Father , Seek Ye First , Go my Children , and Soon and Very Soon . They were all very meaningful songs . Our pastor gave a very nice message . I am going to give you a couple parts from it - the whole thing from start to finish was wonderful - but I don 't want to post it all here - so here are the highlights : ) " We are all more than simply aware of what draws us together , we find ourselves profoundly affected by a little boy named Aaron . He arrived in a bit too much of a hurry , and left in far too great of a hurry to satisfy any of us . He drug his parents through the crash course of both breadth of the ecstasies of joy and the turmoil of tears and frustrations in the weeks of his life . He was blessed to have what I believe to be divinely chosen parents who would surround him with love and strength through all the challenges he would face . He was brought into a family that would stand together in love and faith facing what would probably be one of the most difficult and wonder - filled times of their lives . In the midst of facing the brevity of his life , we still come in response to Aaron Young 's life , not only his death - because he remarkably engraved a place in each of our hearts and lives with his life . We will say goodbye , before most of us have even really been able to say hello , only because we must . " That was the beginning and the part that a lot of people commented on and that we found particularly helpful was this : " I thought - what scripture is there that would be of help posted by Aaron ' sMommy @ 6 : 37 PM 1 comments As I write this , Aaron 's daddy and I , along with his grandparents , aunts , and uncles are gathered at my mom and dad 's house getting ready for the funeral . Everyone is dressed in their brightest colors and we all look great ! I am wearing a dress that is various shades of pink and orange with a fun little ruffle at the bottom and my hubby is wearing a bright green shirt with a beautiful green and blue tie . There is coral , green , floral , blue and pink all around us and that makes me smile . I know it makes Aaron smile to . I can 't wait to see what else people wear today - I am sure there will be some black - but I think there will be a lot of bright colors to and it will be a sight to see . The funeral is at 1 : 00 and I think we are as ready as we will ever be . I think it will be a BEAUTIFUL service . One of us will post a recap either today or tomorrow . Remember , if you can 't be with us today , think of us , think of Aaron and let him see your biggest , toothiest grin . He 'll giggle - I know it ! Again , love to all and thank you so much for everything ! We 're two days away from Aaron 's memorial service . It feels like the last half - week has flown by in a huge rush . I mean . . . we 've gotten a ton of stuff done and ready for Tuesday - flowers , funeral arrangements , pictures , you - name - it . So , we have kept busy , and I guess that contributes to the " time flying bye " , but it just seems like the last couple of days have been crazy . It 's still hard to sleep at night . DrummerWife and I take a lot of Tylenol PM before bed to help us sleep , and it does indeed help us sleep . But we each wake up during the night , and it 's hard to fall back to sleep when you 're waking up from a dream about your wife holding your baby while you hold her . Then you wake up , realize it was all a dream and that your son is gone , and you just lay there . It 's kinda rough . What else is rough is smelling the scent of Aaron on the little stuffed lamb our friends ' son gave him . The nurses wrapped him with it after he passed so we could hold him , and some of Aaron 's scent came off on it . And now . . . it 's really hard to get even the smallest whiff of that lamb without crying . But . . . each day gets easier for both of us . It 's still hard , and I 'm sure Tuesday will be very difficult , but it is getting easier . We feel so loved and supported right now and would like to thank each and every one of you . Whether we know you or not we know we are in your thoughts . We told Aaron each and every day how loved he was and I know that he knew that . I know that all of you were praying for a different outcome in all of this , but obviously God had a different plan . There are moments when I am at peace with this and moments when I am not . As hard and upsetting as it was - I am not sure I will ever experience a more peaceful moment as I did when I sat there holding Aaron after they had all the tubes and wires off and before he actually passed . Yes , I did hold him the whole time - at first I didn 't think I could but God gave me the strength and I am so happy that I did . Josh pointed out last night that the time they placed him in my arms was at 12 : 44 pm . Ironically , Aaron was born at 12 : 44 am - I don 't think that was a coincidence . My brother - in - law pointed out to me that Aaron was in our lives for 33 days - and Jesus was on earth for 33 years - so Aaron was here one day for every year that Jesus was here on earth . We have also decided we will continue to post to this blog as part of our healing . As for the funeral - I will say very generally that the funeral will be held on Tuesday at 1 : 00pm . Again , if you are reading this and want to be there please send an email to aky . funeral @ gmail . com and let us know who you are , and we will send you the details . Also , please know we would REALLY appreciate that in lieu of flowers any donations be sent to : Bryn Mawr Hospital , NICU130 S . Bryn Mawr Ave . Bryn Mawr , PA 19010In Honor of Aaron YoungThey cared so much for Aaron as much as each and every one of us did . We know that is where Aaron can be remembered and honored forever . And we prefer not to have all the flowers at the church because - well we don 't want it to look like a funeral : ) Just like I told my mom yesterday - I 'm not even wearing black - I am going to go buy the brightest prettiest dress I can find because I want to celebrate his life anposted by Aaron ' sMommy @ 5 : 47 PM 23 comments I 'm sure it will be a painful , difficult time for us . But today is our first day post - Aaron , and we must get on with the business of committing Aaron 's body to the hereafter , just as we committed his soul and spirit yesterday . For those of you who are interested , we 've set up an email address ( aky . funeral @ gmail . com ) where you can obtain information regarding the service , as soon as we have it available . If you 'd like to attend , or simply just want to know when to be praying for us hardest , this is where you should look for information . Just send us an email to that address , let us know who you are , and we 'll get you the information you need . The reason we 're not just going to post this information here , is that we don 't know who 's looking at the information if I just post it here . At least if we can see who 's emailing us , we can know who were revealing this sensitive information to . Again , thank you for your prayers and concerns during this time . We love you all , and thank you from the bottom of our hearts .
|
Bologna sandwiches and Gone With The Wind , that 's what I was raised on . . . in the context of The Outsiders that is . The 1983 film based on S . E . Hinton 's bestseller was without question the biggest influence of my early adolescence . I thought that Ponyboy Curtis was a pretty cool guy . I kinda wanted to be him . At that point in my life , the wrong side of the tracks was a pretty familiar place , and denim jackets and beat up Chuck Taylors was something of a uniform . S . E . Hinton wrote The Outsiders when she was sixteen years old . . . sixteen years old . That 's almost unbelievable . I flipped on the TV tonight and there was Ponyboy and Johnny hiding out in that old abandoned church , smoking cigarettes , eating bologna sandwiches , and reading Margaret Mitchell . There was Dallas and Sodapop , Two - Bit and Steve , Dary and Cherry Valance . . . Tom Waits even made a sly appearance as Buck Merrill . I loved everything about The Outsiders . They made a young guy who didn 't quite fit in feel like he had a bit of company , and I did , the book and the movie just romanticized the kind of crap that kids who lived in rented houses , next to factories , with too much freedom usually feel . My friends weren 't criminals , not yet at least , and they were mostly practicing troublemakers . Their parents didn 't care where they were , they didn 't care where they were going , and nobody was going to notice them if they didn 't break a window , get drunk or high , or maybe get kicked out of their house . I was a good kid stuck with some pretty bad friends . Of course , I grew up . . . I met new friends . . . I started spending more time in the Teeter basement , and I stopped daydreaming of S . E . Hinton sunsets and wrong kids vs . right kids . It just didn 't make much sense . We grew up in the country , on a half - assed farm . We boarded standard - breds from the local race track , sometimes there were beef cattle in the pasture . . . sometimes . We mucked stalls , swiped cigarettes from unlocked trucks in the factory parking lot , and wasted as much time in town as we could . We didn 't own a damn thposted by Brian DeWagner at 8 : 50 PM 1 Comments There are a lot of things that Zoey and I like to do when it 's just up to us . . . we go for short drives , and buy coffee and treats . . . we color and draw . . . we go skateboarding . . . we wander the concourse at Comerica Park . . . we collect shells on the beach . . . lots of stuff . Our newest amazing place is the library . Zoey loves it . Dad has always loved it . Now we love it together . I used to love the library so much that when I was ten years old and lying on the cold ground , still in shock from a terrible car accident , I was asked if I knew where I was and I answered , " the library . " That 's how much I loved it . Tonight , after dinner , while we waited for Mom to find her way home , we snuck off to the library . Zoey picked out some books , played with a Fisher Price castle , a giant boat , no less than eight or nine plastic dinosaurs , and charmed the hell out of the librarian . There 's a little girl behind those castle walls . We spent nearly an hour there in that small little library beside the lake , and when we left , Zoey offered everyone a curt goodbye , and then strutted out the door with her books in tow . And our haul on this trip . . . ? Baby Bear , Baby Bear , What Do You See ? - Bill Martin Jr & Eric CarleMichael - Tony Bradman & Tony RossOh Daddy - Bob SheaCornelius P . Mud , Are You Ready For Bed ? - Barney SaltzbergThe pre - bed reading is going to be kinda ridiculous tonight . When we left the library , Zo bopped and bounced all the way to the car , and when we finally settled in and headed for home I heard the weakest little voice from the backseat singing , " going down , down down . . . I 'm gone . " Apparently all of the libraries in the world can 't exorcise the Justin Bieber from her . Yikes . Sometimes I need reminding that she 's every bit a girl . Justin Bieber will do just that . Today is also June 's Aunt Kumi 's birthday . June stayed with Kumi when she was living in Sendai , Japan , and she still talks about Kumi as though she might be the best Aunt on the planet . Even from across an ocean Kumi managed to steal her nieces and nephew 's hearts . She 's a pretty great lady . Happy Birthday Kumi - san . . . we hope you have a good one . Tonight Zoey demanded that she put her underwear on ( over her diapers ) all by herself . Methodically , she set each foot into each hole , and then she stood up and pulled them on . Done , just like that . I guess she knows what she 's doing . It was a pretty good anniversary present , maybe one of the best ones ever . June and I got married three years ago today . . . September 28th , 2007 . . . in New York City . It was a simple ceremony , at City Hall , and we spent the entire weekend alone , just soaking each other and that fabulous city up . I can 't imagine getting married any other way . I am one of the few grooms that I know who talks about his wedding like a doe eyed girl . It felt as though I floated for four days . Now , three years and one little girl later , I 'm still floating . Happy Anniversary June . . . Zoey Sakura DeWagner is how much I love you . . . yup , that much . For sure that much . It was made official tonight in an email from Saudi . . . we 'll be moving out of the beach house forever and ever at the end of July . The good part about that is that we 're excited about the change , and it 's great that we 'll get one last July out of the place . The wonky news is that means we really should be preparing for the move all winter long . . . packing , throwing things away , giving things away , streamlining , etc . . . and although that sounds kind of fun , it 's not . What makes the timing strange for us is that I work on contracts and as far as I know , at the present moment , my YMCA contract is over in December , and will most likely look very different in January . . . if there 's a contract in place at all . I 'm assured that there will be but anymore assurances are worth about as much as VHS tapes . My contract with the school board is equally as tenuous , and to make matters hilariously more tipsy , each one of my bosses are retiring this Spring , which means brand new faces , which means people who may or may not see value in what I do , which means job hunting . Now , of course , if the contracts fall into place , and probably most importantly , if the school board contract is renewed for the 2011 - 2012 school year , then I 'll not worry about too much , but if any of the blocks fall , everything from my bank account to my housing plans go for a loop . In ten months we could very well not have a 519 area code . . . we most likely will , but it 's very possible that we are forced to find greener pastures . The extra shove on the swing set of uncertainty is that a move at the end of July makes my opportunity to work with jeff Yokoyama in Huntington Beach a lot more difficult to manage . . . almost impossible . This is what I mean when I tell you folks out there who urge me to buy a home or settle into one community or another to just chill and let me live my life . I 'm a happy guy , and I like our life , but stability isn 't a part of it . So it looks like we better get busy enjoying these last few months here . . . lightening up our eventual load . . . and keepingposted by Brian DeWagner at 12 : 20 AM 1 Comments Why do we ever stop going to the park ? I suppose because we outgrow the playground equipment , and of course , grown men can 't exactly hang out in parks without a family on their hip or they 're just creepy . It 's unfortunate . I can always have a good time at the park . Of course , the swings make me want to puke , and the slides don 't make me squeal anymore , but the whole place is just ripe for nonsense . They 're even better if you can bring your daughter to them in order to butter her up into easing up on the hard time that she 's been giving you all day . I 'd like to think that there will never be a time when I can 't act a fool but I know it 's coming . One of these days I 'm going to wake up with just no interest in shenanigans . That 's going to be a sad day . Oddly enough , the park is already giving me hints that I should find my fun somewhere else . Typically the swings make me feel ill , the slide can help my stomach creep up into my throat , and flipping , hanging , swinging or any other super kinetic endeavor can leave me feeling like it was my first day on a swaying cruise ship . Apparently whatever little biological troll is in charge of my balance and is responsible for cueing nausea is finding his legs the older I get . Zo 's still a little too young for solo park time . I 've never noticed how absolutely frighteningly unsafe your average community park is until I help Zoey navigate one . I suppose they aren 't made for 20 month olds ( ' cause that 's what Zoey is today ) but still . . . you can sit back and pick the places where a kid could find some trouble . I can at least . Of course , we 're also discovering that parks aren 't all that Mommy - friendly if you 're just a 5 ' 3 " Mom . Dad gets the high up stuff , and June typically does her best work on the ground . Of course , no matter how much fun you 're having in the park , it 's always nice to come home , especially when the cheap ploy of plying a little girl with slides and swings and giant wooden play structures , butters her up enough to finally spend some time with her . I don 't know what her deposted by Brian DeWagner at 10 : 26 PM 1 Comments A different generation . . . Biarritz , France , 1936There 's a good chance that you don 't know who The Sartorialist is , certainly not if we 're good friends . I wouldn 't expect anyone I know to give much of a $ # % t about what some random woman is wearing on the street in Milan , or what some stylish Japanese businessman has thrown together for a casual Saturday in Tokyo , but the site is really cool , and the story behind it even cooler . The site is built on a foundation of street photography and fashion for the people . It 's turned into a designers dream , the kind of man - on - the - street research that companies pay ridiculous sums for , and it 's a living , breathing design template for anyone paying attention . The site 's developer and singular contributor , Scott Schuman , left his fashion sales position to take care of his daughter in 2005 , and he began carrying a digital camera around on the streets of New York City , taking pictures of people who had dressed in some way that caught his eye . Then he posted them to his blog . . . done . . . legend . Well , the site is fun to explore . What caught my wandering eye was Scott 's references to his own family , particularly his grandparents . Scott posts photographs of his super stylish grandmother and grandfather ( wasn 't everyone super stylish back then ? ) from their youth , and the intimate historical connection is sweet and surprising . I like the idea of seeing the same world that your twenty - five year old grandparent did . I felt something similar in Hawaii as soldiers wandered the streets of Waikiki on leave . If you get the chance , take some time and flip through Scott 's masterpiece of a blog . You may shake your head at the fashion that seems to be the norm on the streets of New York and Paris , but you 'll surely smile at Scott 's occasional tributes to his grandparents taste and style . I do . I don 't know much about my grandparents . My Dad 's father , Marcel , was an immigrant , a factory laborer , a soldier and a boat builder . He kept a garden ( that could pass as a farm ) and had perhaps the most cluttered posted by Brian DeWagner at 8 : 10 PM 0 Comments It 's such a strange Sunday . . . Zo doesn 't really want much to do with me , in fact she wants nothing to do with me today . The baseball game I was hoping to go to became something less of an option when the rain started falling sideways . The breakfast we intended to go out for fell apart when Zo stopped listening to us ( she 's in her own little ambivalent bubble today . . . very Zoey - centric ) and , of course , there 's still some obvious decompressing from the week that 's happening between my ears . I understand that , but it 's dreary and feels as though we 're the opposite ends of two magnets . Awkwardly , you don 't really have much of an option other than fighting your way through days like today . It 's crazy what the indifference of a nineteen month old can do to you . It bothers me . I get it , I mean , I understand that she 's no different than any of us , that she has moods and good days mixed with bad days , etc . . . mind boggling etc . . . but it 's usually tough to swallow . I don 't think Mom 's have as many of those days , at least not at this stage of a daughter 's life , but Dad 's do . It 's definitely a reminder that this is often the hardest thing that I 've ever done . Maybe a son 's indifference would be easier ? I don 't know , maybe not . It 's just that in her I see stories about clouds and rainbows , and excited walks up mountainsides . I hear laughter and excited questions , and I feel her hand reaching for mine . . . I see and hear and feel those things every day , even if it 's only in my head , or maybe it 's only in my heart ? With Zoey it 's sometimes hard to tell because you 're always thinking about her . I wonder how those parents feel who don 't know their children , who never take the time to understand them ? Since Zoey was born I feel a kind of desperation to know her , to find her amongst all of the distractions around us , but sometimes it 's hard . It takes time alone with her , and that 's not something I get in lavish , indulgent amounts . I can steal it , but then I 'm robbing her Mom , who gets even less time alone with her than I do . All the time I posted by Brian DeWagner at 1 : 08 PM 0 Comments Our 19 month old daughter has grown infatuated with the movie Madagascar . It paralyzes her and it 's hilarious . She likes the animals best , of course , but she also likes the New York scenes at the beginning of the film . She got upset tonight after Marty , the Zebra , mentioned riding on the subway . She instantly wanted to hit the F Train for a spin . When Mom told her that she couldn 't she got pretty upset . I guess you can take the girl out of Brooklyn but you can 't take the Brooklyn out of the girl . I don 't really know where or how Madagascar fits into that equation but it must . Speaking of Brooklyn , our friend Mel and her little poop , Elle , hung out with Mary Stuart Masterson at the park the other day . . . that 's right , just hung out while the kids played . That doesn 't happen here , or in Madagascar I bet . By the looks of things Zed is perfectly content with this place we call home , provided there are animated movies and memories of crowded subway trains . I might have teared up about seven times today , the most recent happening ten minutes ago following my message back from Christian Hosoi regarding meeting while I 'm in LA . Christian has a pretty paralyzing story to tell , from world champion to prison inmate , and now saver of lost souls . Christian got his life back together and is giving back in a big way . I never would have thought that we 'd be standing in front of one another , like ever , certainly not when I was younger and watching wide eyed as he skated his way into the sky and onto magazine covers . Christian Hosoi . . . and me . . . I 'm kinda speechless , first , that I 'll have the chance to get to know Christian and talk a little about the things that we are working on , and second , that synchronicity has played it 's baffling hand again . Christian Hosoi . . . and me . . . Ask me twenty years from now what I call this part of my life and I 'll say , the beginning . When I went to get coffee this morning , yeah , Saturday 's are meant for buying coffee , not making it . . . I settled in beside the beach and watched some dude surfing . Yep . . . surfing . If the wind is right , and the waves have some consistency , shape and form , there are easily ridable waves in Lake Huron . Sounds weird huh ? It looks strange , but it 's true . It was nice actually . I turned the volume up on a little Tegan and Sara that I had drifting out of the Jeep 's window . . . I sipped my coffee , and I snapped a few pics , maybe even ate a Timbit or five , and breathed it in deeply . This isn 't California , it 's our backyard . Kinda makes me wonder why anyone would ever want to leave this place . This is Val . Val is cool . Val is preggers . Val was our midwife . . . now she 's our friend . We like Val , even if Zoey doesn 't . We 're just kidding , Zoey likes her just fine , although we do believe that Zo might be harboring some sort of residual Q - Tip up the bum hard feelings from a run in with Val in her infancy . . . Zoey 's bum and infancy , not Vals . Val 's fella there is Jay . He 's cool too . They 're engaged . In between photos he sipped on both the beer I gave him ( liquor up those that the focus finds I always say ) and the rye and Coke our friend , Stu , gave him . Yeah , he 's alright , I think . Takes a good picture with a few drinks down the hatch I might add . We would like it if the universe laid heaping amounts of good fortune on them . I know that the universe knows what it 's doing but I 'm just reminding it , that 's all . Nice picture huh ? Cool people = nice photos . Even a fool like me can do that math . Zedder likes to talk . Oddly , if shes talking to other people she usually tries pretty hard to make herself understood , but if she 's talking to herself , forget it . Bumble mumble , blah be blah , nonsense , jibberish , occasional discernible word , more bumble mumble . . . but it 's funny . BTW . . . June got herself an iPhone4 and so I haven 't seen her for days . If anyone knows her whereabouts , please , get in touch . She 'll be the half - Japanese girl wandering around making videos and snapping pics and making more videos , and ignoring you ' cause her phone is so cool . She has a tattoo on her foot with her address on it . Please send her home . There is a reward . Early this morning , for the first time in what seems like forever , I contemplated lifestyle change . It 's funny because I don 't even consider my lifestyle something that really needs all that much changing . . . some tweaking maybe , some increased awareness , perhaps , but changing , no . I 'm not exactly extreme in any of my habits . Today , however , I was meandering in and out of other people 's lives via blog , and stumbled upon some interesting lifestyle choices . I suppose first one needs to assess their life and what it looks like , and second , you need to establish just what it is that you want , and what you might be trying to achieve , and lastly , I guess you need to figure out the best way to get to those places that you want to get to , and to do so while still honoring your values and beliefs . That sounds like a giant pain in the @ $ s , really . The ingredients for this idea con carne in my early morning mind today are readily available on the shelves of my psyche . . . I 'm not stirring an empty pot , so to speak . . . I 've been following Ashley and Scott over at TWWLY for awhile now , and have suddenly stumbled into Sara 's blog , Farmana just today , and the idea of self - sufficiency is bouncing around my head with vigor . I like reading about these families . They 're traditional and alternative in the same breath , and I like seeing little pseudo - hippie Berkeley type funsters running around through fields and in forests , dreds full of fallen leaves and bellies full of Mom - made food . It 's smile inducing ( and of course , I 'm just being ridiculous , they 're not pseudo - hippie kids . . . they 're just kids . I could noodle around their blogs for hours . It 's interesting . My Aunt Cheryl has been farming and selling her version of the best things this earth can grow for years now . Her and her husband , Barry , live a uniquely farmcentric life in which feeding the goat and harvesting the organically grown tomatoes take equal precedence . People drive in from all around to buy Cheryl 's lovingly nurtured produce and I 'd wager a full year 's salary that the groceposted by Brian DeWagner at 7 : 19 AM 0 Comments Tonight I came home to a hawk waiting for me . . . watching me . . . reminding me , so it seems , according to all of the teachings , to pay attention , to be aware , to watch . He sat on the branch above me , flew from the picnic table when I drove up , and sat himself on the branch above my head . He waited for me to get out of the car , and then stared through me as I stood there and looked back . Aaniin ezhinikaazoyan ? my head and heart asked . No answer . Aandi wenjibaayan ? my spirit whispered , to myself as much as to him . No answer . Niin Brian nindizhinikaaz , my heart said quietly , my head tipped back , staring up at the branch above me , Giga - waabamin naagaj ? it added . There was a beat and then the hawk lifted and flew away . My spirit spoke to him , I know that . I felt it . I don 't know any Ojibway , not much , at least , but I found my spirit speaking , strangely . He 's a divine messenger this hawk , that 's what I 'm told . Strange to come home and have him waiting , after all that this week has had to teach me . There are a lot of difficult things drifting down from the clouds . . . for friends . . . for strangers . . . and he comes to visit me ? Maybe that 's as it should be . It 's not often that I 'm at a loss for words . . . not often at all , but tonight , yes . My good friend , Merle , just sent me this story . . . When I was 17 a hawk flew into my backyard , ( this had never happened previously ) landed on a unusual , hard to reach perch and looked me in the eye . This was the moment that I decided to change my major in college ( more importantly , I was verbalizing this to my lifelong music teacher ) from Jazz Studies to Economics - a very profound and life altering decision for me in my life ( I am now in my late 20 's and at the time was practicing 8 hrs a day ) . The next week my music teacher brought me lots of literature on Native American animal symbolism , all of which pointed to one conclusion - this decision was an important one . It took me most of the next decade to understand what that day meant but I now believe that hawks ( a bird with amazing VISION and PERSPECTIVEposted by Brian DeWagner at 5 : 34 PM 0 Comments Zoey had it in her sweet little head tonight that her plush whale needed a sock on his tail to keep warm . So he got a sock . . . and now I 'll go to bed grinning at the notion . Whales with socks on their tails . . . We were searching for a name for him and decided on Corduroy . . . ' cause why wouldn 't it be Corduroy ? Whales with socks on their tails . . . classic . What do you say about all of this synchronicity stuff when as soon as you start planning on wrapping up some grief counseling work you get smashed with two suicides in 18 days . . . that 's a lot of grief to be surrounded by , and a lot of I don 't knows and shrugs and quiet wait and see what happens moments . It 's a lot period . I had just decided on investing in myself and in the grief / bereavement issues that I think are behind a lot of the problems that I see every day when I spend my whole day neck deep in the stuff . It was a long day . . . maybe one of the longest I 've ever had . So , I came home and Zoey and I went skateboarding , then exploring , and then we saved a small bird who was hurt ( Daddy saved it , Zoey mostly just petted it ) , and then we picked a flower for Mom and then we lost it shortly thereafter . . . of course we were late for supper because we sat and talked , well , she talked and I mostly listened , and we played with our shadows and I generally felt like the luckiest guy I know . . . which was kinda just what I needed after feeling like a pretty sad case all day . Two kids in eighteen days . . . I think I 'll remember today for a long , long time . Now I 'm going to go watch Manamenah with an excited little girl . I woke up to rain this morning , and a quiet house . June was up and at it by 5 : 30am so even though I lay in bed still , so was I . There was a dampness in the air that didn 't encourage getting out of bed . So I lingered . I always linger . I went through the same old morning routines that I might typically go through , and Grandma slept through all the rain and noise I was making . She must have needed the sleep . I imagine that Zoey runs her ragged each day . It wasn 't long before I heard a small voice from Zoey 's room , so with the usual smile and flicker of excitement in my stomach that hearing her brings , I shuffled into her room and eased her into the day . We sat on her chair and watched Eddie and Dick , her fish , swim around . We talked about the squirrels playing in the tree outside , and we discussed her teeth . For some reason I had a moment as misty as the dripping trees outside . As we sat there in that chair , Zo standing on my lap , leaning in toward me , offering unsolicited hugs and soaking up the early morning closeness with her soon to depart Dad , it struck me that I could live in that moment a million times over and every day for the rest of my life . Misty eyes come quick with this parenting stuff . I have to go t work now but I might just be sitting in that chair with the Zedder all day . So there are these cows that I know that Zoey also happens to know , that just so happen to live down the road from us . Yup , convenient . So we go visit them quite often , enough that the farmer that said cows belong to knows Zoey pretty well . They 're buddies , Zoey and this farmer guy , and all I can think of is , " Geez , I hope my kid doesn 't grow up and marry a farmer . " Is that weird ? I just bought the Avett Brothers , I and Love and You , because I 'd only had the album pieced together in stolen tracks and both the work , the band , and I deserved better . Now I 'm going to nap with " Head Full of Doubt / Road Full of Promise , " and try not to get a sunburn . While I do that , you should consider what you 're doing with your life and then tempt fate with these other options . . . there 's a bit of a theme today , I think . How ' bout a classic car rally with dirtbags and half assed classics zooming around Northern California , from flea - bitten motel to dive bar , ' round a bend or two and then back again ? Why not build your own kit car ? My friend Nick did , and it 's a beaut . And if you can 't afford that then maybe you can just start hanging out at the track and maybe cop some old Jimmy Dean style , or maybe rob Steve McQueen of some old mojo and see what happens then . . . my bet is people start thinking that you 're way cooler than you are , and what 's wrong with that ? Nuthin ' that 's what . If all else fails you can take part of this beauty afternoon and just daydream about cruising Big Sur . . . that 's never a waste of anyone 's time . This has nothing to do with Zoey but I felt like typing so there you have it . As Daddy was melting down this morning it was turning into a beautiful day outside . . . that was part of the reason that he was melting down . It was much too nice to just sit and rot . Despite the testosterone flowing through his bloodstream , he just isn 't the type to sit on his sofa each and every Sunday , watching millionaire football players disappoint him . He typically donates a good chunk of his Saturdays each and every Autumn to watching amateur football players disappoint him . Why would he ever venture to add another day to that nonsense ? Sunday 's are meant for meandering . . . rest , schmest . . . Daddy wants to get gone . So we got on the road and just started driving around when we realized that Zoey needed some fall clothes , and even some winter clothes . . . she 's growing ridiculously fast . . . and so while most men sink deeper into well worn couches and the kind of incendiary depression that goes unnoticed for decades , this guy went shopping with his wife and daughter . Why wouldn 't I ? I like that stuff . At the very least it provides significantly less opportunity to develop dents in your couch cushions . We listened to the Lions game on the radio . . . played soccer in an Old Navy store , drank coffee , basked in sunshine , sat on park benches , and bought some of the coolest clothes ever for the Zedder . I like shopping with my girls , they 're fun . They don 't make me feel tipsy , or lazy , or regretful , or slobberrific in any way shape or form . I can 't say as much about NFL football . Zoey is exactly 33 . 5 inches tall . That 's nearly three feet , just four inches short , in fact . She can wear piggies in her hair now . She has a bazillion teeth . She can count up to fourteen , and is working her way around the alphabet pretty good . She eats like a champion , and can even operate hashi ( chopsticks ) with some degree of awkward success . She dresses like she fell out of a catalogue at times , and she sleeps through the night , every night . She has a big girl bed , that she 's only fell out of twice ( and didn 't wake up on either occasion ) , and likes to shower with Dad . She has learned not to abuse her cat , Debu , most of the time . There are still some violent lapses in judgement . . . occasionally . She likes taking care of her fish , Edgar Winter and Richard Milhouse Nixon , and feeds them every day . . . with some reminding . She 's flown approximately 14 , 000 miles already without an issue or incident . She likes Sesame Street . She says please and thank - you without prodding most of the time , and she only mildly abuses the term , " no . " She likes broccoli . She 's a good kid and I suppose we 'll keep her . That 's what I 'm going to tell Zoey on that very first day that doubt creeps into her tiny little oh - so beautiful head . It 's never too late to be famous . It just depends on what you 're hoping for famous to be . If she wants to be on the cover of a magazine , well , then I guess she 'll have a to hoe a certain row , but if she just wants people to see her as something incredible . . . maybe for people to find interest in her life and become fans of Zoey - - BTW , I love that idea , that we as individuals can have real fans in our lives , ' cause we can - - then that 's an entirely different process . I know a little about that one . I think , when I grow up I want to be impressive . . . that 's it . . . that 's all . I want to do something good . I want to stay relevant . I want to be valuable to someone . I want to discard the stereotypical . I definitely want to live inside of me , not whatever shell of me the world has carved out without consulting me . . . ' cause that 's how it works , right ? You get to choose who you 're going to be , and then the world is going to define you separately , and the challenge is making those two jive or not caring much either way and going out and doing what you want to do regardless . If you can somehow be and do all of those things . . . rock star . I 'm thirty - something years old and I still talk about what I want to be when I grow up . Now I 'm a father , which complicates things a little , but not too much . Now I want things for more than just me . I want Zoey to find a place to live and breathe and dream in that celebrates that very process of figuring out who she is and then becoming really , really good at it . I hope that we can provide that for her . . . wide eyed wonder and never ending possibility . . . optimism and trust . . . faith . . . acceptance and curiosity . . . blah blah blathering blah . . . I hope that we can make a life that provides Zo with a big enough stage to earn some ovations , maybe take a few bows . . . even if she 's doing so in front of an empty room , so long as she feels the need to take a bow , so long as she 's somehow earned it thenposted by Brian DeWagner at 9 : 35 AM 0 Comments UP THERE from Jon on Vimeo . This makes me want to quit on everything , move my family to NYC and apprentice , write a book , maybe . It 's beautiful . Do you do something beautiful ? I 've always wanted to do something beautiful . This is the original project , and this is how is finished . Three weeks of labor in 57 seconds . Zoey was up half the night , and then fell asleep just before dawn . . . for about an hour . She woke ready for some action , and as soon as Mom noticed the rainbow above the lake the two of them were dressed and outside snapping pics . It 's was 7 am . The little funster looks pretty good for 7 am . So . . . future husband of Zoey . . . you can thank us later for her stellar looks and her penchant for early morning smiles . You 're very welcome . I stopped by a second hand shop on my way home from work today and scored a set of Tinkertoys . To say that I was stoked would be a massive understatement . Now , it 's not as good as Brooklyn sidewalk treasures , the kind that you find just laying there waiting for you to take them , but it 's close . Sure I had to buy it , but it only cost me three bucks . . . not a bad deal as far as deals go , I think . I scooted home , plopped myself down on the living room hardwood with the Zedder , and made her close her eyes for her surprise . She was anxiously awaiting her three dollar present , so much so that she couldn 't stop giggling . We 're thinking that she might have the concept of present and surprise down pretty good . When she opened her eyes she gave out a huge gasp and then looked confused . " A new toy , " she said pointing at the pile of sticks and wheels , " that 's new stuff , " she added , wide eyed . Yup , I confirmed , but she still didn 't really have a clue what all that wooden junk was . When I finally showed her she went nutso . . . We 've been playing with the Tinkertoys for over an hour and a half now and Zoey hasn 't stopped commentating her moves . It 's like she 's teaching a Tinkertoys engineering class . We built windmills and boats and some other junk that Zoey made up weird names for , and I really think that she could play all night with this stuff . Nice score Daddy ! It ain 't a Brooklyn stoop sale , but watching Zoey loose her rational mind fiddling with this forty year old stuff , I figure Tinkertoys at any price are a steal . Go get your own , you 'll see what I mean . They 're the heroin of wooden toys . Zedder likes everything at the park that makes Dad queasy . . . yup , slides officially make me feel like crap , as of this trip to the park . Slides never used to make me feel sick , but either they do now . . . this one in particular does . . . or this particular day was not my best . I 'm going to chalk it up to this immeasurable sickness and leave it at that . I 'd like to think that I 've still got game , even though I know that I don 't . Who cares about slides anyway ? Zoey and the Milwaukee Brewers mascot , that 's all . Today a friend of mine posted a photo from a visit he made to Hartsdale , NY , to the grave of Malcolm X and his wife Betty . I was floored by the notion . What an incredible idea . I 'd have never have imagined it , and now I 'm proud I have a friend who is so thoughtful as to have conceived such a thing . Growing up there were a number of books that changed the way that I saw the world , but Alex Haley 's Autobiography of Malcolm X flipped me upside down . I was never the same after reading it , and I 've my own Malcolm story that borders on the unbelievable . I share it with few people . Someday I will tell Juneau my Malcolm story , in person . Juneau Robbins is , and always has been , one of the most noble men I know . . . always carried himself that way , always just was that way . Who better to visit Malcolm ? I 'm still speechless , and proud to call Juneau my friend . I can 't stop shaking my head at this photo . I don 't have the words to explain how it moves me . I should be sleeping but I 'm listening to Volcano Choir and trying to decide if I like them . I 'm finally feeling better . I 'm also pouting because that 's what I do when I get genuinely excited about something and watch it kinda not happen . The people around me , mostly June , don 't really deserve to sit through my pout bouts but at the very same time I will never , ever , in a million years ever feel badly for being oh - so genuinely excited about something . It 's kinda all I got . I 'm enthusiastic . . . ridiculously so at times , and I get oh - so sincerely thrilled right down to my probably average density bones structure sometimes . You know how there are those stupid internet quizzes that ask you all kinds of ridiculous questions about the up - close and personal this and thats of yourself . . . questions like , what do you like best and least about yourself ? Well , my unequivocal answer for the best query would be the manner in which I am moved . I use the term " oh - so , " very liberally throughout so many discussions because my sentiments demand that hyphenated term of emphasis . Ask anyone who has ever been weighed down by my company and they 'll immediately laugh ( some in a very flattering sense , and some with an antagonistic flair ) and then nod their head in agreeement - - the triple e kind of agreement - - that yes , indeed , the Brian that they know could very well be defined by his enthusiasms . I 'll never feel badly about that . . . even when I pout . Why ? Because so many of the men I know are dead . . . not literally , but not quite figuratively either . They 've quit on everything , at least all things amazing a long time ago . I think men do it far more frequently than women do . I haven 't . I might never . I 'd be lying to say that I don 't try hard to see the world differently . I do . I won 't apologize for that either . I can summon thirty or forty peers , men who are still young and vibrant , who should be full of ideas and affections and enthusiasms who have managed to wittle down their loves to just a few , and have then somehow figured out a way to undeposted by Brian DeWagner at 11 : 31 PM 1 Comments Zoey just fell out of her bed . . . we heard the thud . She immediately fell back asleep on the floor . I don 't know what she does in her dreams but whatever it happens to be it 's incredibly active . My dreams look more like this lately . . . and I haven 't fell out of bed in years . Tomorrow night I 'm going to dream like this . . . just a heads up . If Berkeley Girl by Harper Simon doesn 't immediately make you think of Simon and Garfunkel circa 1968 , then you might be deaf . Of course , it makes perfect sense if it does because Harper is Paul Simon 's son . Yup , that 's right , I said Paul Simon 's son . A quick listen to the music and you 'll smack your forehead for not making the connection . This dreamy , flu accompanying song has been my solace for two days . I close my eyes and imagine an apartment in Silver Lake , or better yet , Berkeley , and the soft glow of Autumn sunshine cascading through the curtains of an open window . I count my blessings that I 'm sick here , and not there , because I couldn 't stand missing out on one day of that seemingly whimsical left coast energy . Just staring out the window across the bay at a fog engulfed North Beach is enough to heal even the most heinous of viruses . . . well , except HIV . I suppose a good view of the Bay Bridge and the Transamerica Building didn 't do much to stop the halt of that particular virus but that view does wonders on all lesser viruses . Laying here listening to Grandma and Zoey trying to get the whole poddy thing down and it 's better than all that Liquid Tylenol or NeoCitran . . . There was a running commentary during the whole enterprise , which was uplifting in the most impossible to explain parental way . The conversation was hilarious . Grandma urging Zoey to be patient , and Zedder jabber - jabbering about how she was going to poop . Finally , Grandma left the scene in search of a fresh diaper , at which point Zo pulled herself off of the poddy and plopped a little turd onto the floor . She quickly yelled for some help , after all , it doesn 't take a genius to know that poop shouldn 't plop onto the floor , and Grandma quickly scooted back and assisted with the situation . It was an admirable try . Now she 's laying on her tummy not less than two inches from Debu 's butt while he cleans himself on the kitchen floor . All I can hear is , " Debu eating his bum , " and once again I 'm lifted out of this flu - like daze . I 'm either feeling a little better or Zo is entertaining me enough to forget about how crumby I feel . My God , she must have been an inch from Debu 's dirty bottom . . . I 'm still giggling . " Here 's to the crazy ones . The misfits . The rebels . The troublemakers . The round pegs in the square holes . The ones who see things differently . They 're not fond of rules . And they have no respect for the status quo . You can praise them , disagree with them , quote them , disbelieve them , glorify or vilify them . About the only thing you can 't do is ignore them . Because they change things . They invent . They imagine . They heal . They explore . They create . They inspire . They push the human race forward . Maybe they have to be crazy . How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art ? Or sit in silence and hear a song that 's never been written ? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels ? While some see them as the crazy ones , we see genius . Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world , are the ones who do . " - Apple Commercial , 1997I just stumbled into this Apple ad from thirteen years ago and I liked the sounds of it , so I posted it here rather than just laying on my couch like a sweaty log . Are you one of the crazy ones ? I feel better . . . marginally better , and all I keep thinking is how I hope no one else in this house catches this . If Zo caught this I 'd feel even more miserable than I do now . It felt strange to wake up to a full house , June and Grandma and Zed all lounging in the kitchen while I poured myself out of bed . I made a quick call to work to let them know that I was sick , and to inquire about the status of a report I had to hand in , then I dumped some liquid Tylenol into my face and laid back down . With luck I can hand the report in tomorrow , and leave today to shiver and shake away , maybe sweat some more . I 'm not sure which I prefer . I kind of like the shivers but could do without the thin film of sweat that 's encased me for three days . I feel a bit of a sore throat coming on too so maybe I can just skip all of those other symptoms and just focus on that all day ? I never knew how hard it was to be sick with a child in the house . I 'm full of fever , and achey , and sweaty , feeling like a sledgehammer to the side of my head might feel better than all of this , and Zedder is on the prowl . She 's been good , beyond good , and June 's bore the brunt of all the work , but Zo 's squeals of joy have never felt more tortuous , her eagerness to play with Daddy , have never felt like more of a chore , and if I could just sleep until some healthy day distant I would . To make matters worse , Zo skipped her afternoon nap , and after a frustrated Mom left her quietly chilling in her room so that she could make a run to the store and Zed could try to get some rest , Zo hosted a poop festival in her room . I heard her call for me in my half dazed state , and so I went to see how she was , to pull her out and back into my savage world of sick and tired , when she pointed out the poop smeared on her bed and on her pillow case . It wasn 't awful , and I 'm glad that she called for me the instant that she noticed that something wasn 't right in her pants . It turned out to be the worst poop explosion since forever , and of course , there was no one to help . I fought off the dizzyness and nausea that I had been struggling with all day , and there 's absolutely no exaggeration in that remark . . . I 've felt on the verge of toppling over on a few occasions , and my stomach has taken up new residence in my throat . Then I did what needed to be done . I cleaned Zo up and I stripped the bed and brought the filthy sheets etc . . . to the laundry . The timing of it couldn 't have been more ridiculous . I 've felt hung over all day , in the worst way , and Zoey 's gastrointestinal system decides to throw me a challenge unlike any I 've ever seen . I just want to feel good . I 'd do just about anything to feel good right now . . . anything but clean up a poop festival again . Ugh . . . sick . Shortly after yesterdays football game the shivers started , then they morphed into cold sweats , and by 9 or 10 pm I was a mess . I hunkered down and read a tonne . I kinda lost track of time as often is the case when your whole body starts to ache and your head gets super fuzzy . I was a pitiful looking creature . I normally manage sickness pretty good . I don 't think I 'm your typical Mommy 's boy sick man , but I think my immune system is strong and the little stuff doesn 't usually drag me down . The problem with that is when I do catch something it 's usually a good one and it knocks me out hard . I tend to not come down with the three week lingering colds that most people contract . I get smacked down and am good and gone for two days , sometimes three . Sweat and shakes and violent hurls . . . sounds like my kind of cold . Fortunately for me the whole house slept in today . When I stumbled out of bed to wash the awful out of my mouth , it was 9 am and everyone was still asleep . They were up with my rustling but the gift of that extra sleep was heaven sent . Of course , Zoey got out of bed smiling , she always does , and she insisted on wearing her Michigan jersey again today , still more than a little enthusiastic about whatever it was yesterday that Mommy and Daddy were so ecstatic about . All she knows is that it involved that jersey and so she was wearing it again come hell or high water . I might be as sick as a dog today but I think I 'm going to be privy to some nice little wasted Sunday gifts . The tv schedule looks perfectly suited to the frightfully sick . . . Zed seems to be the happiest kid alive . . . and it 's Week 1 of the NFL . . . Somebody get me a puke bucket and the remote control . WARNING : If you don 't care about college football then you might want to skip this post altogether , also , ask yourself why we are friends ? I 've always wanted to do this . . . and with Zed sleeping to kick this thing off , it looks like I might have a decent shot at live blogging my favorite tilt of the Fall . It 's Michigan - Notre Dame today and the house is quiet , the phone is close at hand for random trash talk calls , and I got lots of rest last night knowing full well that this afternoon could make or break my weekend . We considered driving down to South Bend but Zed 's fever from the last few days put an end to that wishful thinking . Now we 're hunkered down here on the lake , ready for whatever the great Gods of gridiron give us . I 'll be live blogging the whole thing so hang tight and hope for the best , in both the game and on this computer screen . . . this could get terribly lame , terribly fast . Go Blue ! 1 : 00 pm . . . I just read this and nearly died . It 's not safe for work , and I 'd recommend not opening this link if you 're easily offended , or if you ever want to look at me with any respect in your eyes ever again . . . but it 's funnier than Jesse Palmer 's career . 3 : 00 pm . . . I 'm terribly tired of hearing the entire country talk about how Denard Robinson can 't possibly carry the ball 29 times again , and how UConn 's defense was poorly prepared for Michigan 's offense , and blah blah blah . . . today is different , and both Michigan and Notre Dame know what they 're doing , and they 're ready to adapt what they 're doing and all the conjecture in the world doesn 't win or lose a football game . . . I 'd also like to add that I don 't know whether to boil or fry or grill the hotdogs today . Who cares about Denard , the future of of gastrointestinal discomfort is in question . 3 : 07 pm . . . I hear rustling from Zoey 's room . If the Zed wakes up before this game begins then it 's official , God hates me . 3 : 11 pm . . . I should have napped . I 'm grumpy , and if Michigan loses today I 'm going to be a Sasquatch . 3 : 12 pm . . . I hope someone from Miami breaks Terrelle Pryor 's leg thposted by Brian DeWagner at 10 : 54 AM 5 Comments Zedder 's got herself a fever . I 'd like to say that the only prescription is more cow bell , but she gets plenty of cow bell . She 's got more teeth coming in , and despite Daddy 's sturdy comprehension that this is just how it goes , I hate it when Zoey gets a fever . It worries me . I 'm kind of irrational that way , always have been . It 's been a cold , cold week , at least in the context of past Septembers , and now that Zed has herself a little fever , I 'm fully bummed . Where is the sunshine and carefree caress of late summer and oncoming Fall ? Where iare the easy attitudes that fall from the trees like leaves when school starts and the temps start to drop ? All we 've got is fleece weather when we should still be wearing shorts , and rain laden clouds with occasional glimpses of sunshine . . . AND a feverish little girl . Full on bummer in effect . Please universe , send me something to distract me and maybe giggle a little . I 'm not laying on the concrete catatonic or anything like that . . . post hit and run or anything . I just need a little good game slap on the ass . . . metaphorically speaking . I don 't need anyone actually smacking me arse . . . well , okay , maybe one . We all need a little ass pat once in awhile . I hope Zoey feels better today . That kid flips me three shades of sideways when she 's not right . I can deal with a jonesing meth amphetamine addict whose life is collapsing around him , but when my daughter gets sick . . . I 'm much less than this guy who can deal with a lot . I 'm fairly flimsy . Daddy and Zed out having some fun . How stoked does Zo look ? Could maybe be the definition of the term . . . Here 's some more pics from our evening of concrete stoke . . . boy , she was a beaut . I 'm especially fond of this one too . . . People say , " is that your skateboard , " to which I reply , " yes it 's my # % & ? ing skateboard , " I might be all grown up but I still know what fun is , and fun is sliding around on a plank of wood with four wheels under it . It was good enough to thrill me when I was thirteen and it 's good enough now . Zoey . . . write this down . . . If having fun is sacrificed at some maturity alter , and just for the sake of looking like someone who 's responsible and grown up , well , you 're making a big mistake . Here 's the best advice ever . . . BE a responsible grown up and then go have some fun . . . done . Now , back to our regularly scheduled programming . Daddy 's headed back to Southern California for a working weekend of awesomeness . He 's heading to the City of Angels at the end of October for the To Write Love on Her Arms MOVE Community Conference . He 's going to stop in and visit Louis in the barrio , and with some luck catch up with Father Greg . . . he 's going to touch base with Jeff Yokoyama down in Huntington Beach . . . he 's going to visit The Troubadour in West Hollywood , Griffith Observatory high up in the Hollywood Hills , and probably buy an embarrassing number of Laker tees . He 's going to set some things in motion and if you 're lucky , stop referring to himself in the third person . Sure , I 'll be squashed between Compton and East LA , and sure I won 't have a whole lot of time . . . three days isn 't long enough to scoot down to South Orange or up to Ventura etc . . . but I 'll be back where I belong , or have felt a kinship so often , and I 'll remember this trip as the start of something huge . When I was a kid my Dad painted on cars . . . mostly on vans . I remember him painting on perfectly fine automobiles whose owners had decided that they needed just a smidge more paint on what was already a pretty thoroughly well painted vehicle . He did custom pin - striping and detailing in both the driveway and at various truck - ends across the country . What the hell is a truck - end ? Good question . It 's basically a weekend where dudes in vans gathered to show other dudes their vans . To a small boy , it was camping , with a strange and usually drunk assortment of unique 70 's type characters hanging around , and ridiculous murals on the sides of ridiculously pimped out vans . To my Dad I 'm sure it was much more than that . It was recreation , escape , and probably ( sorry Dad ) a way to cling to the freedom and irresponsibility of youth . He was , after all , just a young , young man when my brother and I were born . Truck - ends were my Dad 's way of riding the wake of what the sixties left for young men who didn 't leave for wars or the West Coast . Plus people paid him to take a steady hand , a fine paint brush , and an assortment of paints , and skim long curving lines above their wheel wells , or around their tail lights . Even I know that anytime you can get paid to wield a paint brush you take it , even if it does mean surrounding yourself with people in bell - bottom jeans who smell of marijuana and sweat . My brother and I made a lot of friends on those summer weekends , and my family has a lot of photographs from that time ( if my father ever digs them out of the Tutankhamunesque tombs of assorted junk and valuables he has amassed in garages , warehouses , and one barber shop over the years ) . Labor Day always reminds me of those times when my Mom would pack up the van and the family 's collective bags as my brother and I were off at camp or at a friends , and my father was at work . The instant we arrived at home we were set on a maternal assembly line to get clean and fed , while my father followed our harried lead with a splash of Brut cologne andposted by Brian DeWagner at 5 : 09 PM 2 Comments
|
with a resurgence of Delhi belly . Have discovered that , rather than taking Immodium , which basically just slows down the gut mobility , you can buy kaolin tablets , which absorbs the toxins which you have inadvertently ingested . I shall now stick with these for any future problems . They are also much cheaper . So I missed drawing at Primrose Hill yesterday . Very annoying . I finished the sketch of Sasha , hopefully adding more depth to it . I managed to get up to Borough Market for a brief chat with Dorothy . I mentioned the Zedel place we discovered the other night , and the Italian place where we had dinner . The printers were closed so I will have to wait until tomorrow to do some more work there . Had a message last night from Dorothy who had decided to try Zedel and let me know what it is like . Dorothy has such exacting standards that it is bound to fail . We shall see . Nibby is still painting her owls . I must remember to tell her that I have put the fishes back in the pond . The large black bin was just too small . They are definitely looking happier to be back in familiar surroundings . Just had a text from Alice , who may be at the jam session tomorrow . Might meet up with Madeleine today . My nails are becoming so strong and long from eating low calorie jelly that it is hard to find the right keys when typing . Dear me . I am told that jelly babies also have this beneficial effect on the nails . Posted by to do an invitation to my exhibition . Yesterday I managed to write out something and get it printed on a public computer . I then tried to get this copied onto tranparent film and eventually succeeded . However when I placed it over what I thought were pale drawings the lettering did not show well when reduced . Today I may attempt a small pencil drawing , otherwise I shall do a small drawing which avoids the lettering area . I am not happy with the font or the layout , but public computers are not the best places to design anything properly . I need some invitations to give out on Saturday and also next week so will have to do a bit more work . Last night I was invited out by Christophe and Victorine . We had a drink at the Round Table pub before finding the restaurant which is a newish Italian place called Mele e Pere ( apples and pears , because it 's downstairs ) in Brewer Street . I think Dorothy would like it . I had a very good butternut squash soup with cheese and beans , followed by a pork medallion which only just left room for the tiramisu . Victorine and Christophe had a fish starter , the pork main and Victorine had some excellent looking cheese afterwards . On the way to Piccadilly we found the ex Regent Palace Hotel where Nibby spent her honeymoon , which had been refurbished beyond belief and is now a very fine looking brasserie called Zedel which also has a bar and a piano bar . Excellent place . Today I sketched Sasha having her feet done at First Foot . I must go back there again soon , it is such good value and very relaxing . Posted by So weird , my laptop had , to all intents and purposes , died completely . But yesterday I turned it on for the umpteenth time , and it actually worked . I suspect it is moribund , but not quite extinct yet . I have spent a while framing drawings , putting strings on the backs , and labelling them . They are mostly originals but there are one or two prints . I have also had some extra prints made . I shall only make up to 20 prints of each original , and many have had watercolour washes added so there is something original about each one . Pricing is very difficult but I think the prices are very reasonable . My main problem is that I seem to draw better on A3 sized paper and cannot produce the small postcard sized drawings which many artists seem to do . I may think about getting some reduced size prints of these . We shall see . Anyway I now need to group my drawings and seem to have groups consisting of Elephant & Castle . including cafes there , mainly in the shopping centre ; around where I live , cafes and Imperial War Museum etc ; South Bank and the rest of London . I have about 45 drawings and have run out of frames , so will have to think about whether to get any more . Since I tend to do about five drawings a week , and there are several weeks to go , I may do this . Another ten A3 frames would do it . On the other hand I have a few odd , unmatching frames around the house which I could use for reduced size prints , and a few very small ones too . We shall see . I shall start on a list of drawings now . Walking down to Elephant on Sunday morning saw this shoe , which made me think of a South London Cinderella losing her slipper . Dear me . My laptop now displays a blank screen . Trying to do this on my iPad but the typeface is minuscule and pale grey and I don 't know how to change it so may have to abandon this blog for a while . Cheerio ! Back at the Sundial Cafe I think I have discovered their most edible item : corn on the cob . Mind you , this comes on a stick , hygienically wrapped in some kind of plastic covering , thus a bit soggy having been soaked in some buttery substance , but at only £ 1 it definitely is a winner , if rather inelegant to eat . A very cheap lunch . Met David for coffee and did a little shopping . Later I pitched up at Mamuska for the open mic . I have to say I was unwise enough to order their potato pancakes , which were rather tough and tasteless to this non - Pole , so had to follow it with ice cream with a kind of berry sauce which was much better . I sketched Ian and his sidekick once more . Later , a rather exciting little jazzy combo turned up to have a practise . They had a competition on Monday night . Cant remember their name but will check them out if they appear again . Will finish my sketch later today , but this morning I need to get up to Camden Town to do a bit of drawing . Kook has become a fleabag , so have had to lash out £ 37 for some stuff at the vets . Dear me . Posted by Yesterday I was really stupid and went to a drawing thing in Camden , having invited someone else . No one there apart from my invitee , Sally , who was about to go home . Over a coffee we checked and discovered it was next week . Dear me . We went to Borough Market and had a snack before a walk in the sunshine at Bankside . I carried on with my sketch for bit after Sally went home , and eventually managed to meet Dorothy at 3bis , the gelato place , where a tall blonde waitress mistakenly and rudely tried to make Dorothy join the end of the queue when he had been first . Common sense prevailed after an appeal to another member of staff and we enjoyed sherry trifle gelatos before Dorothy succumbed to a Monmouth coffee . I purchased some half price merguez at the French stall . These were very good and reminded me of the merguez Jeremy and I used to eat in Algeria in the sixties . Neiges d ' antan and all that . I keep remembering all sorts of stuff from Oxford and Algiers in those days and am becoming sentimental in my old age . Tragic . I am seriously considering going to the jam session at Toulouse Lautrec tomorrow night . Posted by My living room and my bedroom are a complete tip - pictures , frames piled up on every surface in the living room and clothes and sketchbooks all over the floor and furniture and every surface in the bedroom . I definitely have the old person 's reluctance to throw anything away . Trouble is , it leads to mislaying things . My eagerness to purchase specs to match my clothes has led to buying so many that I can never find the ones I need . Yesterday and today I am wearing red and purple colours , but I put the ( red and purple ) specs down yesterday somewhere and cannot find them this morning . Hopeless . Yesterday I braved the Sundial Cafe downstairs in the Elephant & Castle . Ordered a chicken Caesar salad . What arrived was a small pile of Iceberg lettuce with a couple of tomatoes and the dressing , fortunately , in a plastic container . On the top of the lettuce was a liberal sprinkling of what looked like Cheddar cheese and three long things covered in thick cold batter . On scraping off the batter these turned out to be rather tough strips of chicken . Dear me . Very cheap and nasty at £ 3 . 45 . The salad concept has not reached the Sundial cafe yet . Drank a diet coke , ate the lettuce and tomatoes and drew the cafe . Some of the other food did look rather better than my obviously bad choice . I spent ages drawing some of the many illustrations of the food on offer and got many angles wrong but it was all rather difficult . I finished it later in the afternoon . It looks a bit more wonky in the snap because the paper kept curling up a bit . Today I shall visit the GP for a repeat prescription , and consider what to draw later . May possibly go to the Mamuska open mic , depending on how I feel . Now a chest infection but ' feeling better in myself ' and had a good sleep under my new duvet with my linen sheets and covers . Showed David yesterday 's drawing which he liked - particularly the foreground figure walking away left . Here it is anyway . Today I braved the cafe downstairs and just have to finish this ( took ages ) before posting it tomorrow . The whole day has gone in a daze with nothing else done . which is about me all right . Used to be the nickname for the now defunct Time and Tide mag many years ago . Restless night and now coughing . Heard chattering outside the flat and peeped out ( after midnight ) to see my new lodger outside on the steps . Not sure who with . I shall await the inevitable complaints from my nasty neighbour . Dear me . Did some washing today and a bit of shopping before a rather desultory drawing of downstairs at the Elephant & Castle . I need to work on this a bit more but will post soon . Spoke to Nibby on the phone this morning . She tells me my work is improving which I suppose is a good thing . Apparently it is ' quirky ' whatever that means . It 's not meant to be but who cares ? Using my new double duvet set from H & M for the first time . Lovely pale grey linen , and only £ 49 . 99 . I may lash out on the white set at a later date . Made masses of banana cake with the surfeit of bananas and a rather dismal chocolate and peanut butter one . The recipe sounded great but the cake is a bit boring . Froze it and will ice before serving . Also made some Jewish penicillin for my cold - chicken soup , which is very soothing . Posted by Rather foolishly got on the scales this morning to confirm my 7lb weight loss , only to see that I have regained 6lb of this . Tragic . Also woke up this morning sneezing with a runny nose and sore throat AND a cold sore . Purchased some Acyclovir cream . Yesterday I went to the Imperial War Museum and had lunch in the cafe which has amusing retro plates and food . Best of all I could have had the children 's size portion of macaroni cheese for only £ 3 . 75 or so . But I decided to have cottage pie . Temptingly they had some very good looking cakes and puds and scones with jam and cream . Another day maybe . Or maybe not judging by my weight . Anyway settled down in the main bit downstairs and drew . And drew . And rubbed out . And drew etc . In no time at all it was after four so I left to walk back to Elephant and get a bus up to Borough Market where Dorothy and I had tea at Pain Quotidien . Julian is back again and I hope we will meet soon . Today I did a bit of watercolour on my War Museum drawing . I really do find drawing these things very hard indeed . A bit below par , so won 't be going to the jam session at Toulouse Lautrec as I had intended . Posted by If the leaks were not bad enough , my lodger saw a mouse in the kitchen on Friday . I have now put down a couple of poison trap things , reluctantly . The mouse has not reappeared . Forced myself out to Mamuska for their open mic night on Friday . Starts quite early and they turn the lights down for a bit of atmosphere . I managed to find somewhere to sketch and drew a few quickies of my fellow diners after I had eaten a large but virtuous salad . Later the owner , Ian and a friend belted out some good standards and played requests from the audience . These however , were reluctant to get up and perform themselves , but later a guy turned up and did very well . Ian is quite a good singer and it made for a very pleasant evening . I only did one main drawing ( below ) which I may work on a bit more . The only drawback was that I had a very large vodka shot later on ( only £ 3 ) which I managed to spill all over the table after a couple of sips . Suppose it saved me from drinking it all . On Saturday I set forth for Greenwich to meet the other sketchers . I was lured away from virtue in McDonalds by the siren call of a Crunchie McFlurry . Having ordered this , I commented that there was no calorie number on the pot , whereupon the waitress gave me a piece of paper with all the calorie contents of all their stuff which is very handy . The only problem being that the McFlurry was 330 calories , of which I ate at least 300 . Met up with fellow sketchers and Sally and I decided to sit at a pub by the Cutty Sark . She drew me and I drew what I could see over the foliage on the wall . This was mainly bits of the masts etc of the Cutty Sark . Given my general inability to draw a straight line , I became a bit frivolous with the brush pen resulting in what you see below . We then went to a pub near the park gates after lunch and chatted and drew punters and bits and pieces . As we arrived at the point where we were to show our wares , a local photographer from something called ' Daily Shopper ' assembled us in a group for a photo , then asked me to sit with my Posted by properly , but here 's the only charcoal I kept from my foundation at Kingston . Some young guy on the course - it is very dark and moody but I thought it one of my better efforts at the time . Looks very gloomy now though ! A trip to the probate office , and also WAC who were keen to accept my cheque , which has left me somewhat boracic . Imagine , therefore , my horror this morning to discover not one , but two leaks from my towel heater in the bathroom . No money to pay a plumber , so as you can see , jam jars are placed underneath to be changed frequently . The leaks are worse when either the heating is on or when I take a shower or use the sink . Dear me . Nibby had suggested I did some charcoal drawing so I purchased a cheap offer of some charcoal pencils and sharpener in a little tin from Cass Arts . I also went to see the Portrait competition , which was a bit depressing . Plenty of technical competence but most things looked liked photographs which was a bit boring , but probably what clients like to see these days . Anyway . Started sketching a woman being interviewed but then the charcoal became horribly messy and so did I . I wiped it away and did a rather desultory ink sketch over the top . Oh well . Watching a cheery programme last night I suddenly heard a ferocious rainstorm outside , and also in the kitchen , so I had to rush upstairs and close the back door and wipe the floor with a towel . Dorothy rang for a chat . Today has been very quiet indeed . Sprayed more Roundup over the encroaching brambles and bamboo and tore down a bit more of the passion flower . Tesco due between 5 and 6 with groceries and must leave the garden refuse thing out for collection tomorrow . I am thinking about going to the open mic at Mamuska to draw a few people tomorrow evening . We shall see . Seems that John Lewis think the people upstairs live here , hence all the supposed deliveries for me were in fact for the people upstairs . Good thing my neighbours offered to go to Mandela Way and collect the parcels or I really would have been annoyed . And exhausted since all their parcels are huge and heavy . I am actually waiting for delivery of some published sketchbooks and some pond weed . Yesterday I spent ages pulling the huge overgrowth of passion flowers down . I wish I had trained it against the back wall since it has killed most of the plants where it is by growing over them . And nearly pulled the fence over . I really need the fence to be fixed but a ) I can 't afford it and b ) I could not stand the disruption . Oh well . I have been completely unproductive lately . I had a go at sketching in Pain Quotidien on Sunday but it was a dismal failure , with proportions all over the place . I may redraw it and correct these since I spent so long on it and apart from the proportions it is fine . We shall see . The plumber came yesterday and replaced four parts in the boiler . However , this morning the shower is still running hot and cold . He replace the fan so at least it is much quieter and the change from hot to cold is quicker at least . There is only one other part he hasn 't had to replace . This is now no longer available so I will have to have a new boiler within a year or two . Let 's hope it will limp along for a bit . Dorothy rang me to say the probate people want to see my decree absolute , which I may take up there today . I must also get over to WAC and pay for the gallery hire which I think I can just manage . Did not get to Toulouse Lautrec last night because I was too tired . I am having extremely early nights and extremely early mornings these days . My lodger gets up at around 7 . 20 so I manage to get showered and dressed before this . So glad I bought several of my stretchy dresses which will be handy to wear under other stuff when the weather changes . Wearing a mustard coloured one today with my cobalt trousers and Posted by it was . Well that 's my excuse for the rather desultory sketching efforts shown below . Surrey Docks Farm is a great place with an excellent cafe - Frizzante - causing me to gain 2lb this week dammit , and we met to sketch there with Luke 's Drink and Draw group . ( For me , it was Eat and don 't Draw Much ) . After a couple of hours we headed off to a pub near Surrey Quays by the river , I think it was near Greenland Docks . Anyway I did another sorry sketch of some of my fellow sketchers . I was rather knackered by the end of the day . The others all produced excellent work as usual , and masses of it . I really enjoy these days . I think we are going to Greenwich next week and am looking forward to it . It really was bloody hot yesterday though , and all the animals were moving so fast that I was reduced to doing a rather stylised sketch of a stuffed cockerel in a case in the cafe . Dear me . Unfortunately I found a red card from the post office when I got back because my lodger did not answer the doorbell . I have now shown her that there is an answering thing right outside her bedroom , so hope this won 't happen again . As I spent all day in the house yesterday waiting for the plumber who did not arrive from Heatem , and who will now come , supposedly , tomorrow , I shall be stuck in the house for yet another day , then forced to go to Mandela Way to collect my post on Tuesday . Such is retirement . Tragic . I shall and force myself to get out somewhere today as we are promised what may be the last hot day this year . is how I spent a lot of the day , outside in the garden reading , punctuated only by a couple of deliveries for the people upstairs and making cold drinks . Met David for coffee and a chat . I did sort out a few more clothes . The discarded items are now packed into five black bags inside my airing cupboard . All I need to do now is to colour sort everything on hangers , which will be today 's task . The heating engineers are due to arrive today so no doubt I will spend a lot of time hanging around , though if they ring and are coming much later I may be able to escape . Looking through my emails I see Groupon are offering ' boudoir shots ' with false hairpieces , false eyelashes , make up and up to five changes of outfit . Was almost tempted for a giggle at only £ 19 , but decided it would be too cruel to the organisers . Mind you , the Kookster can look misleadingly cute in his birthday suit , so could be a possible candidate . Oh well . Ate too much as usual . I have decided that every day I should aim to eat 500 calories . I might then manage to eat about 1200 calories so should lose some weight . We shall see . Hmmm . . . Nibby is going forth to Scotland for the weekend . She is so intrepid , always going to different places . Maybe one day when I get a cat - friendly lodger I might venture off to Barcelona for a few days . We shall see . I have managed to lose all the screws I need to fix to the backs on my frames so will need to purchase some more when I get to the shops . Hopeless . with things this week . I have finally sorted out the probate forms for my ex and taken them up to the office at High Holborn , who will eventually interview Dorothy and hopefully release the money . I have meanwhile been doing the accounts for the very small estate . I have done a bit more drawing and painted some prints which has added an extra interest to them . Kate came around to return my dress and will look for a door for my bedroom , which is essential really when having lodgers since the one bathroom is opposite my bedroom . Still scratching around for £ 300 to pay the gallery for my exhibition . I may be able to do it this month , just about . Selling something would help . I have decided to make some limited edition prints of some of my images in very short runs of say , 20 of each . I can then sell these very cheaply and some will be worth more when painted , but I have decided they will all be the same price . Yesterday I sat outside the Castle Brasserie and drew this , but it was quite difficult and I need to get more depth into it I think . We shall see . The guy who does my printing is on holiday , but will be in for a bit of work when he gets back since his prints have been greatly admired . I am reading a rather odd book , I think it was recommended by Robert Hughes . It is ' Journal of my life ' by Jacques - Louis Menetra , a glazier in Paris in the eighteenth century : one of the few journals from that time by a working class man . Quite hard going because of the age , lack of punctuation , different sense of humour untruthfulness of the author etc etc . but still a lively read . Also reading some of Pope 's letters . Having a huge clothes turnout . So far there is a two foot high pile on the floor . When I decide how to dispose of this lot I shall go back to sorting the rest by colour and removing it all to hangers and drawers : at the moment I have two chairs absolutely piled with stuff . The shower is being awkward , only working when the heating is on , and locking out , so the plumber is coming tomorrow to have a look at it . I amPosted by Tesco delivered my shopping on time , so I set off for Barnes from Waterloo . Managed to get on a 33 bus at Barnes and arrived at Strawberry Hill around 12 . 30 . I then discovered that my group were in fact meeting there next week . Dear me . I sat and did a rather bad sketch of Strawberry Hill . It looked rather like a large decoratively iced wedding cake with new trees obscuring it in front . I sat in Walpole 's shell seat and as I looked at the house a rather gothic gloom overtook me so did a rather desultory dark sketch . As I left I noticed my rubber on the seat , which seemed like a message from Walpole to erase the drawing . I then had some soup for lunch and wandered around the house which was quite pretty but really needed books , furniture etc to bring it to life . The main thing of interest to me was that Walpole 's windows and wooden blinds were made to slide back into the walls so that the views were uninterrupted . Might have been intresting to open the windows and draw the view . Oh well . Went to Twickenham on the 33 and got the train to Waterloo . Noticed that the dreary Twickenham Co - op supermarket is now a Waitrose . Nils has been out all the time recently and starts work on Monday . Friday and Saturday On Friday I finished the short sketch I did at Cafe Nova in the Elephant & Castle . Found an old jazz tune for David and played on my ipod - he hadn 't heard it since 1956 . The proposed meeting with the cafe owner where I am supposed to be drawing keeps getting cancelled so I shall forget this for the time being . Did a bit of a sketch which seemed to take ages in Pain Quotidien at Borough Market . Had the prawn and chorizo salad which was delicious . Dorothy came and had a chat then paid for my lunch . It is definitely getting a bit colder so will have to haul out my winter coats again . Must do a bit of printing on Monday . The art shop were amazed at how good my prints were and could not tell them from the originals . They loved the interior one I had painted over the print , so I may do some more of these . We shall see . Had a brief meeting with Julian , who was looking well , on Friday . Tomorrow , my plan is to go to Strawberry Hill House . I shall probably get the tube to Hammersmith then get the 33 bus which stops opposite , apparently . Just hope it isn 't pissing with rain all day . Hmmm .
|
Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 James Duncan High Open RP Nestled within the district of Old Braford , James Duncan High is a relatively new educational institution founded in 2012 , but it 's worth can 't be counted in years , but it 's purpose and facets . Named after the famed and fallen hero American Star , James Duncan High functions a revolutionary magnet school , it 's stellar curriculum catering to the needs of two populations : nonpowered and powered students . It 's facilities carry a old - world traditional sense of architecture meshed with cutting edge technology and alluring and smart decor , such as a holographic display above the dual sets of fountains near the front of the building bearing the various deeds of heroes throughout the day within the news . It 's overall structure is a initial brickwork outlined by solid titanium plating , mixed with other alloys often provided by scientific heroes as it faces reconstruction . Walking though the halls , a student would be introduced to the necessary locations within the school grounds by a onsite AI named ESSI , or Educational Systems and Security Interface . Classrooms aside from the obviously different standards of Fine Arts are equipped with desk interfaces that stream a miniaturized version of the smartboard lesson , and are detachable for greater ease of access . It 's cafeteria is outlined with the school 's colors of Red and Gold , bears fully stocked and functional kitchens , televisions that display local and school news , and a pristine view of a large open air courtyard along it 's perimeter that is used to hold dances , and separates the main school from the gym and sports facilities . It 's fine arts department is also notable , as aside from a Orchestra and Art hallway , Digital Media Room and Auditorium , it 's Drama organization is it 's pride and joy aside from it 's stellar football team , the James Duncan All Stars . Currently pacing before class starts within this room is a rather stressed Rosella Burdelon , who awaits the results of her audition for the role of Elphaba in the school 's first production of Wicked . Despite the relative irony of her role , Rose aims to do the best she can , though she is rudely reminded that competition brings out the best of the worst in people , as resident mean girl and former friend Madison Groves strolls in . Clad in a fashionable black nearly see - through blouse and semi short gold silk skirt , partnered with knee high black heeled boots , and full lengths of steely blond hair and piercing grey eyes , Madison 's model like attire grossly parallels that of Rose 's . " My concealer is Cle de Peau , Rosie . One bottle was probably worth more than your gypsy camp ! " Rose blinks at the insult , before simply shaking her head at the girl , muttering in french before replying . " One , I 'm French creole sweetheart , not that you have the brains to even spell the phrase . And two , I 'd slap you , but contracting herpes is not on my list of things to do today , Madison . " She states in a rather expert Boston Brahman accent nearly identical to Madison 's own , who opens her mouth to retort , but chooses silence as they move to their respective seats , as students file in , as does the teacher , ending the verbal war . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Stepping off the bus there Stepping off the bus there was little to tell that the teen aged Robert was a bit more then normal . Baggy jeans , sneakers , a white t shirt , blue hoodie , and black back pack . That was until you spot his back . The glow from the fiberoptics of his cybernetic spine shone through the fabric of the shirt , up to his bald head where it connects to the back of his skull with metallic spider like webbing of metal and faint blue nano cords seen under his skin . His viser connected to the metal band that ends at his ears and on his left arm he had a wearable computer gauntlet like device . He pulled up his hood over his head trying to hide his shaved condition . Without warning a crumbled up paper wad came flying and thought it was aimed for the back of his head he leaned to the left just in time to avoid being hit . He even caught it with his right hand and tossed it into the trash can he was passing . Just another morning at James Duncan High . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 39 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni Mercer didn 't have the Toni Mercer didn 't have the figure of either Rose or Maddie , but that was perfectly understandable . The clothing he usually wore could be thought of as " unisex " , and most of the people who realized he was male assumed he was gay . Not that he had a problem with people making that assumption , as long as they kept things civil . . . Toni smiled and nodded at Rosie as he found his own seat . From his pack he pulled out two sheets of music . Which one would he use for the audition ? Fortunately , being in the middle of the alphabet he had time to decide . He hoped he wouldn 't choose the same one Rose did ; he had gotten the role of Viola in Twelfth Night and didn 't find out until later that Rose had wanted it . Ah , well , at least she had beaten Maddie for Olivia . Which would she choose ? Elphaba was the lead role , but from what he 'd learned last week it was hitting the nail a bit squarely . Finally , he went with his gut instinct , and put " Popular " on top . If he guessed wrong , he had a fifty - fifty chance of being able to change it , depending on which end of the alphabet the auditions started on . . . Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Rose smiles to Toni as he Rose smiles to Toni as he enters , but takes a moment to note his music choice , commenting quietly from her seat beside him . " Oh , I chose No Good Deed , but don 't let that stop you . " The statement would earn a scoff from Madison , who inquires incredulously . " And you think you can pull it off ? Last time I checked Elphaba wasn 't loaded with silicon . " She insults , earning quite a few ' ooohs ' from the rest of the classroom . Madison , not yet yielding , simply turns to switch targets , staring down Toni like a snake . " Oh give me a break fruit loops , at least she can carry half a note . " She hisses , adding . " But I suppose you have better taste in clothes . . . for your standards I suppose . " Any other comments she could have lobbed are effectively cut off when she makes an attempt to plop into her chair , instead hitting the carpet hard on her backside , but the chair didn 't seem to move . . . almost as if it phased through to those with otherwordly senses . " Toni , are you ready ? " She asks with a smile , gesturing to the open door before Rose comments . " Just remember to breathe and not to overcomplicate the piece , you 'll be fine ! " Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 39 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 In the auditorium , Toni In the auditorium , Toni passed the sheet music to the pianist . Unfortunately , Maddie wasn 't in the auditorium at the moment ; she 'd have made a perfect target for some of the innuendoes . On the other hand , best to keep it as intended . He sang the piece contralto ( well within his usable range ) , and did , he thought , fairly well . " Very nice Toni , and the dynamics were sound . I really can 't nitpick here . . . but I was wondering why not Fiyero ? What made you choose Popular ? " She inquires with her everpresent honeylike tone , making it clear that brief stardom didn 't change how she treated anyone , and she was generally interested . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 The door suddenly busts open The door suddenly busts open and a simple " Sorry i 'm late , teacher . " Could be heard . The door opener stepped in and revealed to be Venomscale aka Damon Blake . He was a reptilian humanoid , with dark green scales covering his body , except the front where he had just horizontally striped though skin , colored tan . He also had a reptilian tail covered in scales . His hands and feet were clawed , and his eyes are red with black vertical stripe pupils . His head resembled a lizard much more than a human . He was wearing a sleeveless brown leather vest and blue jeans held in place by a black leather belt . He didn 't have any shoes due to his clawed feet . He walked to a chair to sit down and once he had gotten closer a small dent in his scales on the left shoulder could be seen , as if someone had attempted to stab him with a knife . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 39 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Good question . After all , I " Good question . After all , I need to exercise the lower end of my range , as well . I suppose it was just the habit of going for a showier number . " Toni considered that possibility that Miss Hall was a mind reader . He couldn 't think of a good reason to dismiss the idea . . . Elsewhere , Miss Hall simply smiles as she replies . " Well I see no point in arguing your decision , and yes , for your information , I am a telepath . . that 's part of the reason I left Broadway . You couldn 't go an inch across that stage without hearing what everyone thought of you , no matter how good or grand your performance was . " She reveals in a subdued tone before adding with a wry smile . " But for now shall we keep that a secret , most staff members know it , but I would prefer to leave it a surprise to Miss Groves and the like . " She can 't suppress a sneer at the end of the sentence , showing that she clearly wasn 't fond of the venomous girl . Shaking her head , she states in her usual and kind tone . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Venomscale stopped lifting Venomscale stopped lifting and looked at the bully . " Your mouth is full of shit , i think you were in the sewer last night . " He replied , while clenching his hands into fists , careful not to scratch himself with his own claws . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 39 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni nodded . " That did seem Toni nodded . " That did seem implied , yes . And of course , I figure you 'll give me whichever role you think will make the better play , or teach us more , or maybe both ? " " All of the above , and I think I have just the part , though you 'll get your role tomorrow ; got to build up SOME suspense now . " She jokes , before leading him back to the Drama room , in which he is gently and kindly ambushed by a smiling Rose and a not so happy Madison , who 's presence feels icy to say the least . Madison speaks frist , much to Rose 's chargin , as Miss Hall takes the next student to the auditorium , though giving Toni a clear look and message : ' If she gets out of line , simply beep me . ' " So , assuming you didn 't flop the entire thing I suppose your my only competition . besides gypsy queen over here . . " She mocks , with emphasis on the word gypsy , as Rose simply flips Madison the bird whilst addressing Toni . " Excuse the dog , she hasn 't had the tact to be spayed yet . And I 'm sure you nailed it Toni . . . but don 't think this means I won 't try any less harder to show you up . " She smiles to him , a clear look of genuine friendship passed as she walks away , sitting promptly to look through her sheet music , examining notes for future improvement . Meanwhile , Madison simply glares him down as she challenges . " If you have any dignity left , I suggest dropping out of the play now . . . then again , it 'd be fun to traunce you both . Ciao , fruit loops . " She deadpans on the last statement , before sauntering over to her own flock to compare notes on their auditions . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon then said : " You are far Damon then said : " You are far too ignorant . And i 'm not sure you even know what ignorant means . " He then got down on all four and stood that way for a moment , but then hissed and leapt forward whit great speed to deliver a straight punch to Kyle 's nose . Note that Damon has super strength . Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Kyle was sent several feet Kyle was sent several feet sprawling back by Damon 's sudden punch , a crunch heard as his nose is also promptly broken , blood streeaming down his face as Kyle struggles to get up against a weight rack , clutching his face . Any attempts for the boys to engage in round two is stunted by holographic figure of ESSI appearing before them . Modeled after the school 's principal Janet Ellis , a former heroine herself with the powers of kinetic field generation , it 's appearance is that of a stern looking woman with her hair in a tight bun , clad in a simple glowing business suit and skirt . " That is quite enough , Damon . Coach Wright please escort Mister Coleman to the Nurse 's office . " She commands , as the stiff man does so , urging the boy up angirly in response to his remarks , giving a curt if not slight nod of respect to Damon before exiting the room . " Since this is your first incident on school grounds , Miss Ellis has seen fit to provide you with only two sessions of after school detention , from 2 : 30 to 5 : 30 this afternoon and tomorrow . She also stated that she expects more from you given your academic performance . " With that statement , ESSI in a fold of blue , as other students staring at the scene give their differing reactions , mostly all smiles in Damon 's direction , save for the sneers of Kyle 's abandoned peers , who sulk off to the other side of the room leaderless for now . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Totally worth it . " Damon " Totally worth it . " Damon said , then turned to continue his weightlifting , given that the class has not ended yet . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 The moment the hologram The moment the hologram appeared Robert done the normal teenage boy behavior . " Wasn 't me . " Now that events were over he returned to his Jeet Kun Do practice striking a sand bag with quick fast minimal movement attacks . A perfect fighting style for someone with super fast reflexes , but wasn 't a speedster . " I think you broke his nose . He get lucky or did you pull your punch ? " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Gossip is just gossip . I don " Gossip is just gossip . I don 't care . That punch pretty much came from everyone here except for his goons . " Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 A voice from over at the A voice from over at the bench press where Damon had been joined the conversation . " A solid hit , Scales . A little brutish and unbalanced , but effective nonetheless . " The speaker was a short , stocky guy with pale skin , auburn hair , and ice - blue eyes . He smiled easily as he leaned on the bar of the bench press . " Me , I prefer a bit more subtlety in my approach to sending a message . Check the goon squad over there . " he said , indicating Kyle 's posse sulking by the leg press . At the corner of Robert and Damon 's eyes , the red - haired young man would seem to flicker briefly . Then Kyle 's goons were hollering and tripping over themselves as they 'd all been pantsed and their shoelaces had been tied together . The short guy smiled again and walked over to Damon and Robert . " How ya doin ' ? I 'm Andy Donovan . " - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon paused the Damon paused the weightlifting to look at Kyle 's goons as they start tripping . " Impressive speed . I 'm Damon Blake . " He released his right hand from the weights to give Andy a handshake , careful not to injure him with his clawed hand . " Doing good , but i feel like i 'm lifting wooden sticks here . " He said . Andy would notice that Damon has no trouble at all holding the maxed out weight bar with one hand . Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Oh , it 's not speed , persay . " Oh , it 's not speed , persay . Watch the clock there . " he said , pointing at the wall . The clock 's second hand ticked to : 55 , then it took five seconds to tick from : 55 to : 56 . After that , it progressed from : 56 to : 01 almost instantly . Andy grinned and leaned back on his arms . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Time manipulation , then . " Time manipulation , then . Still impressive . " He said as he watched the clock . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 39 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni smiled at both girls , Toni smiled at both girls , though if she were perceptive Maddie might have noticed the one directed at her was a bit fake . " Of course I didn 't flop . And I expect nothing less than your best from either of you . " Looking at Maddie , his smile faded as he added , " For whatever your best is worth . " In fact , if there were three things that landed him the stage management job for the school play , they were the fact that he was always early , the fact that he almost never talks unless he has to , and the fact that he has a free period first thing Tuesday Morning . To be fair , however , as Connor tapped his pencil against his clipboard while waiting for further instruction from the play 's director , his sunken eyes began to drift away , staring off into space as he thought of all the wonderful dreams that he could be having at that hour . After all , it wasn 't his fault that he could see ghosts , and it was even less of his fault to consider that they have the tendency to keep people up at night . Sure , every once in a while you get something interesting from a few of them ( a group of Union soldiers that once wandered through the walls of his bedroom gave him enough information to pass his Civil War test a few months ago ) , but more often than not , there 's a lot of noise , as if there were about six times as many people out on the streets at night than there should be . Connor pulled himself back to reality for a few moments as he realized that the director 's lips were moving again . He instinctively grabbed the paper coffee - cup next to him , nearly spilling it as he took a haphazard sip , and immediately begin scribbling on the paper attached to the clipboard . " . . . Sorry . Say that again ? " blue5150 Offline Last seen : 5 months 2 weeks ago Joined : 04 / 29 / 2014 - 12 : 43 The 72 classic olds 442 The 72 classic olds 442 pulled into the student parking . It wasn 't the prettiest looking car , it had a few dents and was a dull flat grey color . However the engine purred with perfection . Keith had spent countless hours restoring it . All he needed to do was finish the body work . He left the convertible top down and hopped out . He walked up to the school and opened the door . Her wore his school jacket with pride . He was a co captain of the hockey team and captain of the baseball team . " Mr Gateman , if you are done we still need those costumes rolled in from the drama room , Miss Hall left a key near your cup . And also , I 'd be sure to wipe away the coffee mustache before heading there . " He smiles as he notes , moving to the other wide of the stage before adding . " And please inform Miss Groves , Miss Burdelon and Mister Mercer that Miss Hall would like them to stay after school , same as you for dress rehearsal . " " If I didn 't know any better , I think she sees you as a threat . . . relish in that for a moment . And also , calm down . . . excessive studying is just going to tire you out for the rehearsal , whatever you get is whatever you get , mon ami . " She states softly . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 The Jock King would find his The Jock King would find his way into the nurse 's office , feeling a pulse of empathy almost immediately . In front of the red - mohawked menace was a scrawny boy sitting in a chair , turned towards the nurse with his hands folded in his lap and his leg pumping a hundred times per minute . He was nervous . . . He wore a basic Zipper Hoodie , navy blue , and tan cargo pants with simple , mid - price - range sneakers . He was one of those students who the Jock had never given a second thought to . The Nurse herself was reading over the paper in her hands : a doctor 's note , and also spoke with a man over the phone . Presumably the Doctor . " Yes I understand that he 's a special case . He seems to have the opposite effect . . . " The student in front of the nurse turned to see Kyle and offered him a couple paper towels to deal with the bleeding on his face . A good few drips had already reached his shirt and stained in ugly patterns with the already - existing sweat stains . The scrawny boy avoided saying anything , afraid he might pull on the wrong emotional chord and get himself in trouble with the populars . Kyle gave one of those cocky upward head nobs of ' thanks kid ' that the upper crust liked to do . The only reason he even fit in , this smaller teen , was because his powers were never out . The larger jock dabbed the blood from his face , careful to avoid touching his nose to make it hurt . He gave the outward tough - guy expression , even though he was in pain . Finally the Nurse hung up the phone and signed the document . " Okay Vincent . Now , I 'm approving your medication , but I need you to take this form to the principal . I 've signed it , so she knows it has my okay . " The teacher handed the paper and an unmarked flask to the boy , as well as a measuring cup that often came with cough syrup . Kyle gave an odd look to the nurse . Was he just given booze as medication ? " Remember Vincent , you 're only supposed to take 2 ounces at most , every 8 hours . A little bit during lunch , and you should be good until you get home . A little bit when you wake up , and a little bit before you go to bed . . . " The Nurse let out a sigh and shook her head . " I still find it hard to believe that you need to take CHASER of all things to stay like that . " Vincent winced at the word she used . Chaser was an unfortunate necessity to keep his power in check . If he didn 't take it , the likely scenario was that he 'd start heating up until everything around him starting bursting into flame . Vince nodded and gave a small " thanks . . . " before scurrying out the door . He hurried down to the principle 's office to relay the newly signed note . blue5150 Offline Last seen : 5 months 2 weeks ago Joined : 04 / 29 / 2014 - 12 : 43 As he entered the school he 'd As he entered the school he 'd be greeted by everyone . " what 's up man " another jock would say as he passed . " Hi Keith " a couple of girls would flirtatiously chime . Other popular kids would just hold thier fist out and nod as Keith fist bumped and returned the subtle nod . He was popular and charming . Even the teachers liked him . Always on time with assignments and didn 't even have to struggle to keep his 4 . 0 . Smart , handsome , charming , popular , and athletic . All should have been perfect in his world . It wasn 't . He 'd been sent to this school when his parents lost custody . He never talked about it . He was just gład his aunt welcomed him with open arms . He was different , but never let on . Her being different as well made it all easier to understand . As he walked up to his locker he passed the auditorium . Someone was singing , she sounded good he noted . Then he passed the gym where he spent alot of time . When he got to his locker he opened it up and placed a few books in it . Then he heard the locker next to him start to talk . " Little help here " a soft and almost nerdy voice said . Keith smiled , but tried to hide it as he opened the other locker . A short and skinny underclasman spilled out onto the floor . Pens and books and loose change scattering . " heya mort " . Keith said as he helped the much smaller guy up . " thanks Keith " mort replied . " I 'm glad you 're not like those other jerks . " who was it this time ? " Keith asked . " Steve and his crew " mort answered . " oh andthey took my lunch money " . Mort said frantically searching his pockets . " don 't worry , find me then and ill treat . " Keith said offering mort one of his granola bars . Mort took it as the bell wrang . " Oh no ! ! ! I can 't be late to thus class . " he quickly gathered some loose papers then turned to rush to class . He quickly turned back as Keith handed him the textbook he needed . He just looked at Keith , shook his head and took of down the hall . " we 'll Monica 's parents are in Fiji soooo . House party there ok ? " she turned and walked away looking back at Keith as he headed to class . " I 'll let you know " he said hustling by her trying not to be late . He then got to the door and walked in . He sat up front and took out his book . This was his favorite class . History Wipe away coffee mustache . He blinked , wiped his lip , crossed the instruction out , and nodded sleepily . " Alright Mister Theroux , " he said somewhat sleepily , before getting up and heading to the door . He paused , hand halfway to the doorknob , and stood there for a brief moment as he debated using the Sparklock Spell to make things easier . He eventually decided against it with a sigh ; as nice as convenience was , keeping a good secret was more important . He opened the door to the hallway , stepping out and making a beeline to the costume shop . It was a short trip , considering the school 's layout , but when he arrived , the costume crew itself seemed abscent . " Oh right . First period class , " he muttered to himself , flipping to an empty piece of paper and scrawling a note before placing it atop a rumpled costume . He exited , closing the door behind him quietly . Next , the auditioners . Hopefully nobody would bother him on the way over . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Wow time manipulation . That " Wow time manipulation . That 's kind of rare isn 't it . Me technically I 'm a normal kid , just I have this . " He pulled up the back of his shirt and showed off the cybernetic spine . " A successful failure . It repaired the damage to my back was only supposed to be three vertebrae but it kept growing replacing my entire spine now it going into my skull and taking over my entire nervous system . Even my sensory nerves are being replaced I used to need glasses when I was a kid now my eyesight better than normal . So much so I almost have a six sense . " He took a step back from the punching back and activated his overclocking abilities his spine lit up as the artificial nerves went into high speed . Then the delivered about ten punches to the punching bag in the same spot in about 4 seconds so he was pulling about 2 and half punches per second . Then it was over and the spine went dim as he caught his breath " Not quite super speed , but getting there , and I can only do it in short bursts . " " So , Connor , right ? " She smiles , and he would note she didn 't have to fish for his name like other students would if they didn 't know him , she clearly paid attention . She then adds with a smirk . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Finally Vince made it to the Finally Vince made it to the Principle 's office . Eyes were watching the halls , so he made the subtle move of simply placing the signed piece of paper int he Principle 's in - mailbox . He 'd been excused from first period class to take care of this , so He 'd have to catch the second period class session to start his day and meet anyone really . Until then . . . He decided to just chill in the cafeteria playing a little bit of Clicky Cape and snacking on twizzlers . The table he picked was off to a corner , his back to a wall and such . He wore a pair of normal earphones ; a cheap , 2 dollar , over the ear folding pair . Nerdy sound tracks played while he mindlessly flew his clicky cape hero between buildings to try to beat his highscore . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Well go ask the coach to use " Well go ask the coach to use the Danger Room . Were supposed to learn to control our abilities here that why we have a state of the art gym . Think you can even set the gravity in those rooms to higher than earth normal . Thought I don 't know personally haven 't used them . " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Danger zone , huh ? " Damon " Danger room , huh ? " Damon said , thought for a moment , then added : " Not a bad idea . " Damon walked over to the coach and asked : " May I use the danger room ? " then quickly added : " This gym is useless for me , i 'm lifting wooden sticks here at the maximum weight on the weight bar . " Gideon Cross Offline Last seen : 2 days 21 hours ago Joined : 08 / 30 / 2013 - 19 : 04 Shepherd had entered the Shepherd had entered the school a he was being given a tour of the facilities . He had been planning on tutoring after seeing Toni and Rose in action . They peaked his interest in the fight . He figured if he could help them and others learn to control their powers more it would be a good way for him to keep busy on the days he wasn 't in the TCPD . " The weapons and obstacles that are erected will not kill you , but adapt to your limits . However , if at any time this gets too much , call out to ESSI , she is monitoring the room as we speak . " With that , he escorts the nonpowered boys out of the now Danger Room , before shouting as he leaves . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Now this is more like it . " " Now this is more like it . " Damon said , then walked over to a one ton car . " Can you set these up with chains so it 's more comfortable to lift these ? It 's not like the car will lose any weight . " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor raises an eyebrow , and Connor raises an eyebrow , and begins pulling the rack out and into the next room . " . . . Right , " he says after a moment , looking at Rose with a furrowed brow . Something felt . . . Odd . " I 've seen you around school , passed you on the stage . " She then added as they rolled the rack down the hallway . " What ; d you THINK I meant ? " She asks with a smile . He shakes his head again , doing his best to avoid eye contact with the janitor that had passed away several months ago , before deciding to change the subject . " . . . So you 're Rose , right ? I 'm supposed to tell you to stay afterwards for your first rehearsal . " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Incredible . " Damon said , " Incredible . " Damon said , then grabbing the chain to a one ton car with both hands and pulling it down , lifting the car upwards . He had no problem lifting it , but it was obvious he was putting in more effort than with the weights previously . After lifting the car a few times he decided to go to a two ton car , grabbing the chain and pulling it . He managed to lift this one as well and continued to lift it up and down for a moment , then moved on to a three ton car . He grabbed the chain and pulled it , able to lift this one as well , but lifted and lowered it only one time . He went on to a five ton car and grabbed the chain , pulling it downwards . He was able to lift it , but required more effort . He decided to stick with five tons for now , lifting it up and down . " He looks sad . . . I don 't think he was respected very well before he died , so at the very least we can try now . " With that said , she moves to pick up several items of trash left by careless students and depositing it in a wastebin . Turning back to Connor with a smile , she replies , probably answering his question . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 In the seats watching the In the seats watching the stage was the wayward spirit Misty Sinclair . She didn 't expect anyone to notice her she was relaxed and wasn 't making herself material . Those who could see her would see she had her feet propped up on the seat and would be revealing given she has a very short leather skirt on . Dressed like a Goth girl her outfit was once black now she 's dead it comes out a gray variation . If someone really focus on her arms they were see fant puncture marks for needles . She was also being annoying though she believed no one could hear her making cat calls and insulting those on stage . " What is this a Elementary school production ? I seen better at a kindergarten show ! " At the Gym Robert went to the sparing dummies . The ones if you hit one arm the other spins around to hit you . It was great practice learning how to attack and switch to blocking fast . The harder you hit the faster you have to block . Just what he needed to work on . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor sighs . " . . . I had a Connor sighs . " . . . I had a feeling that 's what you meant , " he says , looking back at the janitor . " I 've been having regular conversations with that guy from the day he died . Considering nobody talked to him anyway , I wonder if he even knows he 's dead . " He looks back at Rose . " Connor Gateman , current Wicket Door , if that makes any sense to you . " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Oh my ! It 's freaky when " Oh my ! It 's freaky when people notice me like that ! What the matter deary can 't take a little criticism . " She laughed " Besides I hate scaring kids I may be a pain , but I 'm not a monster . " She then sticks her tongue out at Rose " Go right ahead make yourself look foolish no one else can see me . . . . wait can anyone else see me ? " She stands up and turns around bending over flashing Rose " I was so sure I was invisible to live folk . " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " We can all see you . Best " We can all see you . Best Ghost Ever , ten out of ten , " Connor said passively as he attended to the costume rack . Hopefully two people would be enough to pull off the bluff . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon stopped lifting the Damon stopped lifting the five ton car and turned to the exit . On his way out he noticed Dennis lifting up ten tons without problem . " Enough for me today , I 've got other classes to catch . " He said to the coach before leaving the danger room . " Rosella Burdelon , latest with in the Burdelon line and voodoo priestess when it suits me . And don 't worry , they are too engrossed in the script to noticed . . . and no I mean like moreso than the rest of us , it 's kinda creepy . " She points to the circle of students backstage , eyeing the script like it 's a godsend . Leaving the rack near the left curtain , she turns to lead Connor near Misty so it appears like a regular conversation . . . mostly . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Job summary , Death 's " Job summary , Death 's Paperboy , " he says in complete deadpan , rolling his eyes slightly before lowering his voice , " when people die , I 'm the doorman and the welcoming committee . When someone starts going on a murderous rampage , it 's my job to , you know , stop . . . That , " he says , waving vaguely . " Fun job . Wonderful benefits . " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Don 't worry about little old " Don 't worry about little old me . I even saved your lives . . . well okay I just fought a battle with some creepy demon things . Just it so BOOORING being dead . " She looked to the group of students with the scrips . Being closer they could guess her age was about 19 or 20 . She rose up and flew over to them and yanked the scrip out of one of the students hands . He blinked and looked to the script " Seems I have a case of butter fingers . " He reached down to pick it up as Misty returned to her seat . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor shrugs , towing the Connor shrugs , towing the clothing rack to where it had to be . " You 'll figure it out , " he said with a sigh as he checked his clipboard for a moment , " or . . . Something . " He looks up , then turns a page on his board over . Near the wall of the danger room , Alicia Crane sits by herself , rreading a book . Considering she isn 't watching the jocks do their thing , nor doing anything herself , it seems odd that she would pick a training room as a place to sit , let alone read . Every once in a while , the other students cast glances in her direction , none of them seeming all that favorable . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Gym was about over for Robert Gym was about over for Robert so he ended his practice and went for the locker room to change . Removing his shirt before he fully went in his body wasn 't buffed it was a lean build more for speed then power . Right before he reached the locker room his back flared and he stumbled bracing himself against the wall as the power surge raced along his artificial nerves . He knew what it meant , somewhere in his body new nanites were taking over extending the network and augmenting more of his natural body . He stumiched down the fear . . how long till he was technically a machine ? " I told the witch doctor I was in love with you . And then the witch doctor , he told me what to do . He said that . . . . Ooo eee , ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla , bing bang Ooo eee , ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla , bing bang . . . " She laughed . " I want everyone here after school for the first rehearsal , including you Mister Gateman ! " He adds before stepping out himself to head backstage . Rose turns back to Connor with a smile . " We can take care of it after school , and don 't worry , secret 's safe with me . " With that said , she heads to her locker to retrieve her American History textbook , hoping that her next class would be mostly uneventful . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Don 't worry about me cutie . " Don 't worry about me cutie . Who am I going to tell ? The Janitor ? " Misty said now that the auditions were over there wasn 't really anything to pick on so she drifted up in the air and floated for the doors . " Do they still shower after Gym class ? " Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Rosella , almost on a second Rosella , almost on a second thought , realized that one , she was so out of it she didn 't realize she had a free period , and that History was not until third . Placing the book sheepishly back in her locker , she returned to the Auditorium to find it mostly empty save for Toni , Connor , and Misty . Entering quietly , she decided to rarely and openly practice her abilities , willing herself to invisibility as she travels to her friend 's position . Seating herself right beside Misty , she allows herself to return to visibility in a emerald haze , sitting crosslegged like she had been there the entire time . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 39 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni noticed Rose talking to Toni noticed Rose talking to thin air , so he concentrated on a spell Setzer had taught him . It let him see Misty , vaguely , and hear her . But she was leaving , so he didn 't worry about her . He noticed Shepherd being given a tour , and Connor checking his notepad . " What 's up , Connor ? Caught the acting bug ? " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Misty stopped spotting Misty stopped spotting Shepherd " Hey I know that guy . " Makes a face " Really what 's the point of being invisible and unnoticed if like half the people in the room can see and hear you ! That 's like cheating ! " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor looks up for a moment , Connor looks up for a moment , shakes his head , then looks back down at the clipboard . " I 'm stage managing . Not acting , " he says plainly , flipping another page over before looking up . " Wait , you 're not part of the cast , are you ? " Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 39 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Anthony Mercer . " It " Anthony Mercer . " It probably wasn 't down as Toni . . . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Finally , second period was Finally , second period was starting up . Anything was better than sitting alone in the cafeteria for the past hour or so . Well . . . Technically speaking , some huge guy had come through , but he seemed more content to just eat on his own than to chit - chat . Either way , Vince closed down his game of Clicky Cape and stashed his headphones and made his way to class . He stopped by his locker to pick out his book for the class and seemed to linger a minute longer than he needed to , letting out a sigh . He didn 't know anybody here . Not really . He 'd been transferred in just today , so what point was there to try very hard right away ? He pressed his forehead against the cool aluminum shelf in the middle of his locker and shut his eyes for a second . Just taking in the sounds and the hustle - bustle of the students talking between classes . He noted the social groups all around him . The geekier kids who focused on studies . The nerdier kids who cared more for different media . The sports kids and drama kids , and then there were the odd ones out . The supers . They were Pariah 's and idols at the same time . Something to be jealous of , but also fearful of . . . Where did he actually belong then ? Finally , he clicked his door shut and gave the dial a careless spin . Some students lodged paperclips into their lockers to make it easier to open later , but Vince certainly didn 't trust this peer - group right now . Finally he made his way to his sciences class . He walked in with the stragglers , taking a seat near the back , and closer to the window . A good place to not be noticed . He liked the subject . Science . It seemed to hold secrets to unlock the universe , though the current class was much more simple . Chemistry at least meant he 'd be forced into pairing up with another student at some point . He 'd try to make friends then . . . That is , unless the teacher made him introduce himself first . Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Mr . Cain ! What have I told " Mr . Cain ! What have I told you about defacing private property ? " said a harsh Arabic voice from behind Dennis as all the snacks he 'd taken from the machine left his arms and pockets . The orderly line of bagged chips and candy bars floated back to the machine , slotting themselves back in to the springs . As they did this , the man speaking walked around in front of Dennis . It was Mr . Al - Zawari , Biochemistry teacher and resident telekinetic . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor looks up again , his Connor looks up again , his brow furrowed at Rose 's odd choice of words . " Am I alright what ? " He says , looking back down at his clipboard for a moment before looking back up at her . He then looks to Toni , and after scanning his pages for the ' alternative ' name that he had offered , gave a nod of approval before adding a small checkmark to the side with his pencil . " I 'm uh . . . I 'm fine , I 'm fine . Just concentrating . Mostly . " Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Thank you for your input , Ms " Thank you for your input , Ms . Crane . But Mr . Cain has been warned about this infraction before . " Mr . Al - Zawari said , looking over at the quiet girl and nodding . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 47 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Misty laughed " Oh well I 'm Misty laughed " Oh well I 'm sure if this was my only haunting ground I could think of some ways to entertain myself . Luckily it seems I 'm bound to Titan City itself and can go anywhere in it 's limits . Right now I 'm going to scout around . Perhaps a group who aren 't composed of Mediums . After all what else is a Poltergeist to do then cause mischief ! " Then Misty flew through the wall laughing . Robert ran into science class just as the bell rang and settled down at a table noting a new kid in class . He reached over to offer a handshake to Vince . " Hey , I 'm Robert Tanner nice to meet you . " Unknown to Robert his eyes were now silvery the modifications the nanites made were to his very eyes . " Mr Al - Zawari is right , you have been warned about this larceny before Mr . Cain . As such , three days of after school detention starting today , and you must work to help repair the machine you so haphazardly destroyed , the right way . " The holographic figure then turns to Alicia , as she states further . " Miss Crane , Principal Ellis would like to speak with you during 6th period . Her room is opposite the library , A104 . " With that , she fades away in a blue haze . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Uh huh , " Connor says in " Uh huh , " Connor says in response to Rose 's explanation , apparently not seeming to think it was all that strange despite his original reaction . He watches Toni carefully as he peeks at the clipboard . . . But there are no roles there . All that 's listed is a hand - written attendance sheet . " If you 're looking for something specific , you should try asking Miss Hall , she 's the director , " Connor says , flipping to another page before checking over another list of handwritten notes , " all that Mister Theroux and I have are technical notes and things that have to get done , " he says with a shrug . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 39 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Yeap , she 's bilingual . Me , " Yeap , she 's bilingual . Me , I have to study French , in about three minutes . Guess I 'll be seeing you later , Rose ! " Toni headed off to his French class . " I imagine you also have a free period as well ? And out of curiosity , are you alright ? " She looks him over with a pair of piercing emerald eyes , and her tone makes it clear she actually , genuinely cares . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Stage managers skip class " Stage managers skip class during tech periods because we have things to do , " Connor says , looking up at her for a few moments . He frowned a bit , seeming a bit puzzled as to why she was staring at him , but ultimately didn 't seem too disturbed by it . After a few more seconds of checking things off , he walked over to a nearby chair , sitting down and tucking his pencil into the clip on his clipboard with a sigh . " Yeah . I 'm fine . Just tired , " he says after reclining a bit . " Sleeping trouble . " Alicia nods politely , looking to ESSI for a moment more in acknowledgement . " Yes ma ' am . I 'll head over right away . " Seemingly , she meant it , immediately making her way along the same route that Dennis had taken a few moments earlier , passing by his locker on the way to the principle 's office . She takes a deep breath upon reaching the door , then slowly , carefully reaches up and gives the door two knocks . Despite the delicacy of the moment , they still come off as quite loud . At the very least however , it wasn 't door - shattering . " So many people in this city , you must be overworked ferrying them to the afterlife . " Deduces , before inquiring . " Do you enjoy being the Wicket Door ? " " Since I imagine ESSI informed you of our reason for meeting , I 'll be frank . In the heat of the unnessecary fanfare against your enrollment here , my colleagues neglected to ask how you personally feel about the parameters in place , and arranging your classes for your safety and comfort as well as other students . So in short : what is your stance in the matter and how would you like to modify your status , Alicia ? " She then offers a disarming smile , and a hand to shake , the other occupied with manifesting a cobalt force field the size of a plate , and maneuvering a pot of green tea and two china teacups to the coffee table before them both . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor shrugs , rubbing his Connor shrugs , rubbing his eyes for a brief moment afterwards . " Depends . Sometimes it 's sort - of annoying . Other times , you get a decent amount of satisfaction knowing that you 're helping people finally find peace , " he says with a shrug , " especially since there isn 't really much to be found around here , at least most of the time , " he adds under his breath . He turns , looking up to where the ghost had been a few moments before , and after failing to see her there , instead sighs and turns his gaze to the lighting fixtures above the stage . " Though I suppose it could be worse . I haven 't run into any Reapers just yet . " Alicia shakes the principle 's hand and takes a seat , but offers nothing in return other than the slightest of smiles . She sits almost stoically , with her hands in her lap , and her back straight , the power lines on her bracers and the central power note on her belt glowing softly , along with her white eyes . " . . . I 'm not sure I follow , " she says after a moment of silence , " if by my status , you mean my class lineup , then I think it would be best to keep the safety of others as a top concern , " she says , her voice somewhat emotionless . At least outwardly , it 's a bit difficult to tell how she truly feels about her current situation . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Vince looked up at the Vince looked up at the partially nanite 'd teen with a slight bewilderment . Piercing metallic eyes looked back down at him , but they weren 't judging for the moment . Rather , it was the eyes of the normal students that seemed to be judging the two at the moment . Had he managed to not be noticed by the others that easily ? - - " Vince . " He replied abruptly , shaking the hand with a quick grip and a single up and down motion . " - - transfered in today . " he added , shifting an arm to cover a doodle on his binder . It was just one of those . . . S things . You know , the really geometric things that show up on at least half a dozen binders during school . Yeah , you know . . . The S - thing ! http : / / i . imgur . com / U9IsW . jpg It wasn 't an important detail really , though the freehand lines came out decent , and he 'd used pen only , so that meant he could probably draw alright ? Who knew . Besides that one doodle , the binder looked clean .
|
Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 James Duncan High Open RP Nestled within the district of Old Braford , James Duncan High is a relatively new educational institution founded in 2012 , but it 's worth can 't be counted in years , but it 's purpose and facets . Named after the famed and fallen hero American Star , James Duncan High functions a revolutionary magnet school , it 's stellar curriculum catering to the needs of two populations : nonpowered and powered students . It 's facilities carry a old - world traditional sense of architecture meshed with cutting edge technology and alluring and smart decor , such as a holographic display above the dual sets of fountains near the front of the building bearing the various deeds of heroes throughout the day within the news . It 's overall structure is a initial brickwork outlined by solid titanium plating , mixed with other alloys often provided by scientific heroes as it faces reconstruction . Walking though the halls , a student would be introduced to the necessary locations within the school grounds by a onsite AI named ESSI , or Educational Systems and Security Interface . Classrooms aside from the obviously different standards of Fine Arts are equipped with desk interfaces that stream a miniaturized version of the smartboard lesson , and are detachable for greater ease of access . It 's cafeteria is outlined with the school 's colors of Red and Gold , bears fully stocked and functional kitchens , televisions that display local and school news , and a pristine view of a large open air courtyard along it 's perimeter that is used to hold dances , and separates the main school from the gym and sports facilities . It 's fine arts department is also notable , as aside from a Orchestra and Art hallway , Digital Media Room and Auditorium , it 's Drama organization is it 's pride and joy aside from it 's stellar football team , the James Duncan All Stars . Currently pacing before class starts within this room is a rather stressed Rosella Burdelon , who awaits the results of her audition for the role of Elphaba in the school 's first production of Wicked . Despite the relative irony of her role , Rose aims to do the best she can , though she is rudely reminded that competition brings out the best of the worst in people , as resident mean girl and former friend Madison Groves strolls in . Clad in a fashionable black nearly see - through blouse and semi short gold silk skirt , partnered with knee high black heeled boots , and full lengths of steely blond hair and piercing grey eyes , Madison 's model like attire grossly parallels that of Rose 's . " My concealer is Cle de Peau , Rosie . One bottle was probably worth more than your gypsy camp ! " Rose blinks at the insult , before simply shaking her head at the girl , muttering in french before replying . " One , I 'm French creole sweetheart , not that you have the brains to even spell the phrase . And two , I 'd slap you , but contracting herpes is not on my list of things to do today , Madison . " She states in a rather expert Boston Brahman accent nearly identical to Madison 's own , who opens her mouth to retort , but chooses silence as they move to their respective seats , as students file in , as does the teacher , ending the verbal war . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Stepping off the bus there Stepping off the bus there was little to tell that the teen aged Robert was a bit more then normal . Baggy jeans , sneakers , a white t shirt , blue hoodie , and black back pack . That was until you spot his back . The glow from the fiberoptics of his cybernetic spine shone through the fabric of the shirt , up to his bald head where it connects to the back of his skull with metallic spider like webbing of metal and faint blue nano cords seen under his skin . His viser connected to the metal band that ends at his ears and on his left arm he had a wearable computer gauntlet like device . He pulled up his hood over his head trying to hide his shaved condition . Without warning a crumbled up paper wad came flying and thought it was aimed for the back of his head he leaned to the left just in time to avoid being hit . He even caught it with his right hand and tossed it into the trash can he was passing . Just another morning at James Duncan High . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni Mercer didn 't have the Toni Mercer didn 't have the figure of either Rose or Maddie , but that was perfectly understandable . The clothing he usually wore could be thought of as " unisex " , and most of the people who realized he was male assumed he was gay . Not that he had a problem with people making that assumption , as long as they kept things civil . . . Toni smiled and nodded at Rosie as he found his own seat . From his pack he pulled out two sheets of music . Which one would he use for the audition ? Fortunately , being in the middle of the alphabet he had time to decide . He hoped he wouldn 't choose the same one Rose did ; he had gotten the role of Viola in Twelfth Night and didn 't find out until later that Rose had wanted it . Ah , well , at least she had beaten Maddie for Olivia . Which would she choose ? Elphaba was the lead role , but from what he 'd learned last week it was hitting the nail a bit squarely . Finally , he went with his gut instinct , and put " Popular " on top . If he guessed wrong , he had a fifty - fifty chance of being able to change it , depending on which end of the alphabet the auditions started on . . . Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Rose smiles to Toni as he Rose smiles to Toni as he enters , but takes a moment to note his music choice , commenting quietly from her seat beside him . " Oh , I chose No Good Deed , but don 't let that stop you . " The statement would earn a scoff from Madison , who inquires incredulously . " And you think you can pull it off ? Last time I checked Elphaba wasn 't loaded with silicon . " She insults , earning quite a few ' ooohs ' from the rest of the classroom . Madison , not yet yielding , simply turns to switch targets , staring down Toni like a snake . " Oh give me a break fruit loops , at least she can carry half a note . " She hisses , adding . " But I suppose you have better taste in clothes . . . for your standards I suppose . " Any other comments she could have lobbed are effectively cut off when she makes an attempt to plop into her chair , instead hitting the carpet hard on her backside , but the chair didn 't seem to move . . . almost as if it phased through to those with otherwordly senses . " Toni , are you ready ? " She asks with a smile , gesturing to the open door before Rose comments . " Just remember to breathe and not to overcomplicate the piece , you 'll be fine ! " Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 In the auditorium , Toni In the auditorium , Toni passed the sheet music to the pianist . Unfortunately , Maddie wasn 't in the auditorium at the moment ; she 'd have made a perfect target for some of the innuendoes . On the other hand , best to keep it as intended . He sang the piece contralto ( well within his usable range ) , and did , he thought , fairly well . " Very nice Toni , and the dynamics were sound . I really can 't nitpick here . . . but I was wondering why not Fiyero ? What made you choose Popular ? " She inquires with her everpresent honeylike tone , making it clear that brief stardom didn 't change how she treated anyone , and she was generally interested . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 The door suddenly busts open The door suddenly busts open and a simple " Sorry i 'm late , teacher . " Could be heard . The door opener stepped in and revealed to be Venomscale aka Damon Blake . He was a reptilian humanoid , with dark green scales covering his body , except the front where he had just horizontally striped though skin , colored tan . He also had a reptilian tail covered in scales . His hands and feet were clawed , and his eyes are red with black vertical stripe pupils . His head resembled a lizard much more than a human . He was wearing a sleeveless brown leather vest and blue jeans held in place by a black leather belt . He didn 't have any shoes due to his clawed feet . He walked to a chair to sit down and once he had gotten closer a small dent in his scales on the left shoulder could be seen , as if someone had attempted to stab him with a knife . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Good question . After all , I " Good question . After all , I need to exercise the lower end of my range , as well . I suppose it was just the habit of going for a showier number . " Toni considered that possibility that Miss Hall was a mind reader . He couldn 't think of a good reason to dismiss the idea . . . Elsewhere , Miss Hall simply smiles as she replies . " Well I see no point in arguing your decision , and yes , for your information , I am a telepath . . that 's part of the reason I left Broadway . You couldn 't go an inch across that stage without hearing what everyone thought of you , no matter how good or grand your performance was . " She reveals in a subdued tone before adding with a wry smile . " But for now shall we keep that a secret , most staff members know it , but I would prefer to leave it a surprise to Miss Groves and the like . " She can 't suppress a sneer at the end of the sentence , showing that she clearly wasn 't fond of the venomous girl . Shaking her head , she states in her usual and kind tone . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Venomscale stopped lifting Venomscale stopped lifting and looked at the bully . " Your mouth is full of shit , i think you were in the sewer last night . " He replied , while clenching his hands into fists , careful not to scratch himself with his own claws . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni nodded . " That did seem Toni nodded . " That did seem implied , yes . And of course , I figure you 'll give me whichever role you think will make the better play , or teach us more , or maybe both ? " " All of the above , and I think I have just the part , though you 'll get your role tomorrow ; got to build up SOME suspense now . " She jokes , before leading him back to the Drama room , in which he is gently and kindly ambushed by a smiling Rose and a not so happy Madison , who 's presence feels icy to say the least . Madison speaks frist , much to Rose 's chargin , as Miss Hall takes the next student to the auditorium , though giving Toni a clear look and message : ' If she gets out of line , simply beep me . ' " So , assuming you didn 't flop the entire thing I suppose your my only competition . besides gypsy queen over here . . " She mocks , with emphasis on the word gypsy , as Rose simply flips Madison the bird whilst addressing Toni . " Excuse the dog , she hasn 't had the tact to be spayed yet . And I 'm sure you nailed it Toni . . . but don 't think this means I won 't try any less harder to show you up . " She smiles to him , a clear look of genuine friendship passed as she walks away , sitting promptly to look through her sheet music , examining notes for future improvement . Meanwhile , Madison simply glares him down as she challenges . " If you have any dignity left , I suggest dropping out of the play now . . . then again , it 'd be fun to traunce you both . Ciao , fruit loops . " She deadpans on the last statement , before sauntering over to her own flock to compare notes on their auditions . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon then said : " You are far Damon then said : " You are far too ignorant . And i 'm not sure you even know what ignorant means . " He then got down on all four and stood that way for a moment , but then hissed and leapt forward whit great speed to deliver a straight punch to Kyle 's nose . Note that Damon has super strength . Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Kyle was sent several feet Kyle was sent several feet sprawling back by Damon 's sudden punch , a crunch heard as his nose is also promptly broken , blood streeaming down his face as Kyle struggles to get up against a weight rack , clutching his face . Any attempts for the boys to engage in round two is stunted by holographic figure of ESSI appearing before them . Modeled after the school 's principal Janet Ellis , a former heroine herself with the powers of kinetic field generation , it 's appearance is that of a stern looking woman with her hair in a tight bun , clad in a simple glowing business suit and skirt . " That is quite enough , Damon . Coach Wright please escort Mister Coleman to the Nurse 's office . " She commands , as the stiff man does so , urging the boy up angirly in response to his remarks , giving a curt if not slight nod of respect to Damon before exiting the room . " Since this is your first incident on school grounds , Miss Ellis has seen fit to provide you with only two sessions of after school detention , from 2 : 30 to 5 : 30 this afternoon and tomorrow . She also stated that she expects more from you given your academic performance . " With that statement , ESSI in a fold of blue , as other students staring at the scene give their differing reactions , mostly all smiles in Damon 's direction , save for the sneers of Kyle 's abandoned peers , who sulk off to the other side of the room leaderless for now . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Totally worth it . " Damon " Totally worth it . " Damon said , then turned to continue his weightlifting , given that the class has not ended yet . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 The moment the hologram The moment the hologram appeared Robert done the normal teenage boy behavior . " Wasn 't me . " Now that events were over he returned to his Jeet Kun Do practice striking a sand bag with quick fast minimal movement attacks . A perfect fighting style for someone with super fast reflexes , but wasn 't a speedster . " I think you broke his nose . He get lucky or did you pull your punch ? " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Gossip is just gossip . I don " Gossip is just gossip . I don 't care . That punch pretty much came from everyone here except for his goons . " Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 A voice from over at the A voice from over at the bench press where Damon had been joined the conversation . " A solid hit , Scales . A little brutish and unbalanced , but effective nonetheless . " The speaker was a short , stocky guy with pale skin , auburn hair , and ice - blue eyes . He smiled easily as he leaned on the bar of the bench press . " Me , I prefer a bit more subtlety in my approach to sending a message . Check the goon squad over there . " he said , indicating Kyle 's posse sulking by the leg press . At the corner of Robert and Damon 's eyes , the red - haired young man would seem to flicker briefly . Then Kyle 's goons were hollering and tripping over themselves as they 'd all been pantsed and their shoelaces had been tied together . The short guy smiled again and walked over to Damon and Robert . " How ya doin ' ? I 'm Andy Donovan . " - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon paused the Damon paused the weightlifting to look at Kyle 's goons as they start tripping . " Impressive speed . I 'm Damon Blake . " He released his right hand from the weights to give Andy a handshake , careful not to injure him with his clawed hand . " Doing good , but i feel like i 'm lifting wooden sticks here . " He said . Andy would notice that Damon has no trouble at all holding the maxed out weight bar with one hand . Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Oh , it 's not speed , persay . " Oh , it 's not speed , persay . Watch the clock there . " he said , pointing at the wall . The clock 's second hand ticked to : 55 , then it took five seconds to tick from : 55 to : 56 . After that , it progressed from : 56 to : 01 almost instantly . Andy grinned and leaned back on his arms . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Time manipulation , then . " Time manipulation , then . Still impressive . " He said as he watched the clock . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni smiled at both girls , Toni smiled at both girls , though if she were perceptive Maddie might have noticed the one directed at her was a bit fake . " Of course I didn 't flop . And I expect nothing less than your best from either of you . " Looking at Maddie , his smile faded as he added , " For whatever your best is worth . " In fact , if there were three things that landed him the stage management job for the school play , they were the fact that he was always early , the fact that he almost never talks unless he has to , and the fact that he has a free period first thing Tuesday Morning . To be fair , however , as Connor tapped his pencil against his clipboard while waiting for further instruction from the play 's director , his sunken eyes began to drift away , staring off into space as he thought of all the wonderful dreams that he could be having at that hour . After all , it wasn 't his fault that he could see ghosts , and it was even less of his fault to consider that they have the tendency to keep people up at night . Sure , every once in a while you get something interesting from a few of them ( a group of Union soldiers that once wandered through the walls of his bedroom gave him enough information to pass his Civil War test a few months ago ) , but more often than not , there 's a lot of noise , as if there were about six times as many people out on the streets at night than there should be . Connor pulled himself back to reality for a few moments as he realized that the director 's lips were moving again . He instinctively grabbed the paper coffee - cup next to him , nearly spilling it as he took a haphazard sip , and immediately begin scribbling on the paper attached to the clipboard . " . . . Sorry . Say that again ? " blue5150 Offline Last seen : 5 months 2 weeks ago Joined : 04 / 29 / 2014 - 12 : 43 The 72 classic olds 442 The 72 classic olds 442 pulled into the student parking . It wasn 't the prettiest looking car , it had a few dents and was a dull flat grey color . However the engine purred with perfection . Keith had spent countless hours restoring it . All he needed to do was finish the body work . He left the convertible top down and hopped out . He walked up to the school and opened the door . Her wore his school jacket with pride . He was a co captain of the hockey team and captain of the baseball team . " Mr Gateman , if you are done we still need those costumes rolled in from the drama room , Miss Hall left a key near your cup . And also , I 'd be sure to wipe away the coffee mustache before heading there . " He smiles as he notes , moving to the other wide of the stage before adding . " And please inform Miss Groves , Miss Burdelon and Mister Mercer that Miss Hall would like them to stay after school , same as you for dress rehearsal . " " If I didn 't know any better , I think she sees you as a threat . . . relish in that for a moment . And also , calm down . . . excessive studying is just going to tire you out for the rehearsal , whatever you get is whatever you get , mon ami . " She states softly . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 The Jock King would find his The Jock King would find his way into the nurse 's office , feeling a pulse of empathy almost immediately . In front of the red - mohawked menace was a scrawny boy sitting in a chair , turned towards the nurse with his hands folded in his lap and his leg pumping a hundred times per minute . He was nervous . . . He wore a basic Zipper Hoodie , navy blue , and tan cargo pants with simple , mid - price - range sneakers . He was one of those students who the Jock had never given a second thought to . The Nurse herself was reading over the paper in her hands : a doctor 's note , and also spoke with a man over the phone . Presumably the Doctor . " Yes I understand that he 's a special case . He seems to have the opposite effect . . . " The student in front of the nurse turned to see Kyle and offered him a couple paper towels to deal with the bleeding on his face . A good few drips had already reached his shirt and stained in ugly patterns with the already - existing sweat stains . The scrawny boy avoided saying anything , afraid he might pull on the wrong emotional chord and get himself in trouble with the populars . Kyle gave one of those cocky upward head nobs of ' thanks kid ' that the upper crust liked to do . The only reason he even fit in , this smaller teen , was because his powers were never out . The larger jock dabbed the blood from his face , careful to avoid touching his nose to make it hurt . He gave the outward tough - guy expression , even though he was in pain . Finally the Nurse hung up the phone and signed the document . " Okay Vincent . Now , I 'm approving your medication , but I need you to take this form to the principal . I 've signed it , so she knows it has my okay . " The teacher handed the paper and an unmarked flask to the boy , as well as a measuring cup that often came with cough syrup . Kyle gave an odd look to the nurse . Was he just given booze as medication ? " Remember Vincent , you 're only supposed to take 2 ounces at most , every 8 hours . A little bit during lunch , and you should be good until you get home . A little bit when you wake up , and a little bit before you go to bed . . . " The Nurse let out a sigh and shook her head . " I still find it hard to believe that you need to take CHASER of all things to stay like that . " Vincent winced at the word she used . Chaser was an unfortunate necessity to keep his power in check . If he didn 't take it , the likely scenario was that he 'd start heating up until everything around him starting bursting into flame . Vince nodded and gave a small " thanks . . . " before scurrying out the door . He hurried down to the principle 's office to relay the newly signed note . blue5150 Offline Last seen : 5 months 2 weeks ago Joined : 04 / 29 / 2014 - 12 : 43 As he entered the school he 'd As he entered the school he 'd be greeted by everyone . " what 's up man " another jock would say as he passed . " Hi Keith " a couple of girls would flirtatiously chime . Other popular kids would just hold thier fist out and nod as Keith fist bumped and returned the subtle nod . He was popular and charming . Even the teachers liked him . Always on time with assignments and didn 't even have to struggle to keep his 4 . 0 . Smart , handsome , charming , popular , and athletic . All should have been perfect in his world . It wasn 't . He 'd been sent to this school when his parents lost custody . He never talked about it . He was just gład his aunt welcomed him with open arms . He was different , but never let on . Her being different as well made it all easier to understand . As he walked up to his locker he passed the auditorium . Someone was singing , she sounded good he noted . Then he passed the gym where he spent alot of time . When he got to his locker he opened it up and placed a few books in it . Then he heard the locker next to him start to talk . " Little help here " a soft and almost nerdy voice said . Keith smiled , but tried to hide it as he opened the other locker . A short and skinny underclasman spilled out onto the floor . Pens and books and loose change scattering . " heya mort " . Keith said as he helped the much smaller guy up . " thanks Keith " mort replied . " I 'm glad you 're not like those other jerks . " who was it this time ? " Keith asked . " Steve and his crew " mort answered . " oh andthey took my lunch money " . Mort said frantically searching his pockets . " don 't worry , find me then and ill treat . " Keith said offering mort one of his granola bars . Mort took it as the bell wrang . " Oh no ! ! ! I can 't be late to thus class . " he quickly gathered some loose papers then turned to rush to class . He quickly turned back as Keith handed him the textbook he needed . He just looked at Keith , shook his head and took of down the hall . " we 'll Monica 's parents are in Fiji soooo . House party there ok ? " she turned and walked away looking back at Keith as he headed to class . " I 'll let you know " he said hustling by her trying not to be late . He then got to the door and walked in . He sat up front and took out his book . This was his favorite class . History Wipe away coffee mustache . He blinked , wiped his lip , crossed the instruction out , and nodded sleepily . " Alright Mister Theroux , " he said somewhat sleepily , before getting up and heading to the door . He paused , hand halfway to the doorknob , and stood there for a brief moment as he debated using the Sparklock Spell to make things easier . He eventually decided against it with a sigh ; as nice as convenience was , keeping a good secret was more important . He opened the door to the hallway , stepping out and making a beeline to the costume shop . It was a short trip , considering the school 's layout , but when he arrived , the costume crew itself seemed abscent . " Oh right . First period class , " he muttered to himself , flipping to an empty piece of paper and scrawling a note before placing it atop a rumpled costume . He exited , closing the door behind him quietly . Next , the auditioners . Hopefully nobody would bother him on the way over . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Wow time manipulation . That " Wow time manipulation . That 's kind of rare isn 't it . Me technically I 'm a normal kid , just I have this . " He pulled up the back of his shirt and showed off the cybernetic spine . " A successful failure . It repaired the damage to my back was only supposed to be three vertebrae but it kept growing replacing my entire spine now it going into my skull and taking over my entire nervous system . Even my sensory nerves are being replaced I used to need glasses when I was a kid now my eyesight better than normal . So much so I almost have a six sense . " He took a step back from the punching back and activated his overclocking abilities his spine lit up as the artificial nerves went into high speed . Then the delivered about ten punches to the punching bag in the same spot in about 4 seconds so he was pulling about 2 and half punches per second . Then it was over and the spine went dim as he caught his breath " Not quite super speed , but getting there , and I can only do it in short bursts . " " So , Connor , right ? " She smiles , and he would note she didn 't have to fish for his name like other students would if they didn 't know him , she clearly paid attention . She then adds with a smirk . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Finally Vince made it to the Finally Vince made it to the Principle 's office . Eyes were watching the halls , so he made the subtle move of simply placing the signed piece of paper int he Principle 's in - mailbox . He 'd been excused from first period class to take care of this , so He 'd have to catch the second period class session to start his day and meet anyone really . Until then . . . He decided to just chill in the cafeteria playing a little bit of Clicky Cape and snacking on twizzlers . The table he picked was off to a corner , his back to a wall and such . He wore a pair of normal earphones ; a cheap , 2 dollar , over the ear folding pair . Nerdy sound tracks played while he mindlessly flew his clicky cape hero between buildings to try to beat his highscore . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Well go ask the coach to use " Well go ask the coach to use the Danger Room . Were supposed to learn to control our abilities here that why we have a state of the art gym . Think you can even set the gravity in those rooms to higher than earth normal . Thought I don 't know personally haven 't used them . " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Danger zone , huh ? " Damon " Danger room , huh ? " Damon said , thought for a moment , then added : " Not a bad idea . " Damon walked over to the coach and asked : " May I use the danger room ? " then quickly added : " This gym is useless for me , i 'm lifting wooden sticks here at the maximum weight on the weight bar . " Gideon Cross Offline Last seen : 2 days 21 hours ago Joined : 08 / 30 / 2013 - 19 : 04 Shepherd had entered the Shepherd had entered the school a he was being given a tour of the facilities . He had been planning on tutoring after seeing Toni and Rose in action . They peaked his interest in the fight . He figured if he could help them and others learn to control their powers more it would be a good way for him to keep busy on the days he wasn 't in the TCPD . " The weapons and obstacles that are erected will not kill you , but adapt to your limits . However , if at any time this gets too much , call out to ESSI , she is monitoring the room as we speak . " With that , he escorts the nonpowered boys out of the now Danger Room , before shouting as he leaves . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Now this is more like it . " " Now this is more like it . " Damon said , then walked over to a one ton car . " Can you set these up with chains so it 's more comfortable to lift these ? It 's not like the car will lose any weight . " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor raises an eyebrow , and Connor raises an eyebrow , and begins pulling the rack out and into the next room . " . . . Right , " he says after a moment , looking at Rose with a furrowed brow . Something felt . . . Odd . " I 've seen you around school , passed you on the stage . " She then added as they rolled the rack down the hallway . " What ; d you THINK I meant ? " She asks with a smile . He shakes his head again , doing his best to avoid eye contact with the janitor that had passed away several months ago , before deciding to change the subject . " . . . So you 're Rose , right ? I 'm supposed to tell you to stay afterwards for your first rehearsal . " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Incredible . " Damon said , " Incredible . " Damon said , then grabbing the chain to a one ton car with both hands and pulling it down , lifting the car upwards . He had no problem lifting it , but it was obvious he was putting in more effort than with the weights previously . After lifting the car a few times he decided to go to a two ton car , grabbing the chain and pulling it . He managed to lift this one as well and continued to lift it up and down for a moment , then moved on to a three ton car . He grabbed the chain and pulled it , able to lift this one as well , but lifted and lowered it only one time . He went on to a five ton car and grabbed the chain , pulling it downwards . He was able to lift it , but required more effort . He decided to stick with five tons for now , lifting it up and down . " He looks sad . . . I don 't think he was respected very well before he died , so at the very least we can try now . " With that said , she moves to pick up several items of trash left by careless students and depositing it in a wastebin . Turning back to Connor with a smile , she replies , probably answering his question . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 In the seats watching the In the seats watching the stage was the wayward spirit Misty Sinclair . She didn 't expect anyone to notice her she was relaxed and wasn 't making herself material . Those who could see her would see she had her feet propped up on the seat and would be revealing given she has a very short leather skirt on . Dressed like a Goth girl her outfit was once black now she 's dead it comes out a gray variation . If someone really focus on her arms they were see fant puncture marks for needles . She was also being annoying though she believed no one could hear her making cat calls and insulting those on stage . " What is this a Elementary school production ? I seen better at a kindergarten show ! " At the Gym Robert went to the sparing dummies . The ones if you hit one arm the other spins around to hit you . It was great practice learning how to attack and switch to blocking fast . The harder you hit the faster you have to block . Just what he needed to work on . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor sighs . " . . . I had a Connor sighs . " . . . I had a feeling that 's what you meant , " he says , looking back at the janitor . " I 've been having regular conversations with that guy from the day he died . Considering nobody talked to him anyway , I wonder if he even knows he 's dead . " He looks back at Rose . " Connor Gateman , current Wicket Door , if that makes any sense to you . " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Oh my ! It 's freaky when " Oh my ! It 's freaky when people notice me like that ! What the matter deary can 't take a little criticism . " She laughed " Besides I hate scaring kids I may be a pain , but I 'm not a monster . " She then sticks her tongue out at Rose " Go right ahead make yourself look foolish no one else can see me . . . . wait can anyone else see me ? " She stands up and turns around bending over flashing Rose " I was so sure I was invisible to live folk . " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " We can all see you . Best " We can all see you . Best Ghost Ever , ten out of ten , " Connor said passively as he attended to the costume rack . Hopefully two people would be enough to pull off the bluff . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon stopped lifting the Damon stopped lifting the five ton car and turned to the exit . On his way out he noticed Dennis lifting up ten tons without problem . " Enough for me today , I 've got other classes to catch . " He said to the coach before leaving the danger room . " Rosella Burdelon , latest with in the Burdelon line and voodoo priestess when it suits me . And don 't worry , they are too engrossed in the script to noticed . . . and no I mean like moreso than the rest of us , it 's kinda creepy . " She points to the circle of students backstage , eyeing the script like it 's a godsend . Leaving the rack near the left curtain , she turns to lead Connor near Misty so it appears like a regular conversation . . . mostly . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Job summary , Death 's " Job summary , Death 's Paperboy , " he says in complete deadpan , rolling his eyes slightly before lowering his voice , " when people die , I 'm the doorman and the welcoming committee . When someone starts going on a murderous rampage , it 's my job to , you know , stop . . . That , " he says , waving vaguely . " Fun job . Wonderful benefits . " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Don 't worry about little old " Don 't worry about little old me . I even saved your lives . . . well okay I just fought a battle with some creepy demon things . Just it so BOOORING being dead . " She looked to the group of students with the scrips . Being closer they could guess her age was about 19 or 20 . She rose up and flew over to them and yanked the scrip out of one of the students hands . He blinked and looked to the script " Seems I have a case of butter fingers . " He reached down to pick it up as Misty returned to her seat . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor shrugs , towing the Connor shrugs , towing the clothing rack to where it had to be . " You 'll figure it out , " he said with a sigh as he checked his clipboard for a moment , " or . . . Something . " He looks up , then turns a page on his board over . Near the wall of the danger room , Alicia Crane sits by herself , rreading a book . Considering she isn 't watching the jocks do their thing , nor doing anything herself , it seems odd that she would pick a training room as a place to sit , let alone read . Every once in a while , the other students cast glances in her direction , none of them seeming all that favorable . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Gym was about over for Robert Gym was about over for Robert so he ended his practice and went for the locker room to change . Removing his shirt before he fully went in his body wasn 't buffed it was a lean build more for speed then power . Right before he reached the locker room his back flared and he stumbled bracing himself against the wall as the power surge raced along his artificial nerves . He knew what it meant , somewhere in his body new nanites were taking over extending the network and augmenting more of his natural body . He stumiched down the fear . . how long till he was technically a machine ? " I told the witch doctor I was in love with you . And then the witch doctor , he told me what to do . He said that . . . . Ooo eee , ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla , bing bang Ooo eee , ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla , bing bang . . . " She laughed . " I want everyone here after school for the first rehearsal , including you Mister Gateman ! " He adds before stepping out himself to head backstage . Rose turns back to Connor with a smile . " We can take care of it after school , and don 't worry , secret 's safe with me . " With that said , she heads to her locker to retrieve her American History textbook , hoping that her next class would be mostly uneventful . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Don 't worry about me cutie . " Don 't worry about me cutie . Who am I going to tell ? The Janitor ? " Misty said now that the auditions were over there wasn 't really anything to pick on so she drifted up in the air and floated for the doors . " Do they still shower after Gym class ? " Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Rosella , almost on a second Rosella , almost on a second thought , realized that one , she was so out of it she didn 't realize she had a free period , and that History was not until third . Placing the book sheepishly back in her locker , she returned to the Auditorium to find it mostly empty save for Toni , Connor , and Misty . Entering quietly , she decided to rarely and openly practice her abilities , willing herself to invisibility as she travels to her friend 's position . Seating herself right beside Misty , she allows herself to return to visibility in a emerald haze , sitting crosslegged like she had been there the entire time . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni noticed Rose talking to Toni noticed Rose talking to thin air , so he concentrated on a spell Setzer had taught him . It let him see Misty , vaguely , and hear her . But she was leaving , so he didn 't worry about her . He noticed Shepherd being given a tour , and Connor checking his notepad . " What 's up , Connor ? Caught the acting bug ? " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Misty stopped spotting Misty stopped spotting Shepherd " Hey I know that guy . " Makes a face " Really what 's the point of being invisible and unnoticed if like half the people in the room can see and hear you ! That 's like cheating ! " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor looks up for a moment , Connor looks up for a moment , shakes his head , then looks back down at the clipboard . " I 'm stage managing . Not acting , " he says plainly , flipping another page over before looking up . " Wait , you 're not part of the cast , are you ? " Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Anthony Mercer . " It " Anthony Mercer . " It probably wasn 't down as Toni . . . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Finally , second period was Finally , second period was starting up . Anything was better than sitting alone in the cafeteria for the past hour or so . Well . . . Technically speaking , some huge guy had come through , but he seemed more content to just eat on his own than to chit - chat . Either way , Vince closed down his game of Clicky Cape and stashed his headphones and made his way to class . He stopped by his locker to pick out his book for the class and seemed to linger a minute longer than he needed to , letting out a sigh . He didn 't know anybody here . Not really . He 'd been transferred in just today , so what point was there to try very hard right away ? He pressed his forehead against the cool aluminum shelf in the middle of his locker and shut his eyes for a second . Just taking in the sounds and the hustle - bustle of the students talking between classes . He noted the social groups all around him . The geekier kids who focused on studies . The nerdier kids who cared more for different media . The sports kids and drama kids , and then there were the odd ones out . The supers . They were Pariah 's and idols at the same time . Something to be jealous of , but also fearful of . . . Where did he actually belong then ? Finally , he clicked his door shut and gave the dial a careless spin . Some students lodged paperclips into their lockers to make it easier to open later , but Vince certainly didn 't trust this peer - group right now . Finally he made his way to his sciences class . He walked in with the stragglers , taking a seat near the back , and closer to the window . A good place to not be noticed . He liked the subject . Science . It seemed to hold secrets to unlock the universe , though the current class was much more simple . Chemistry at least meant he 'd be forced into pairing up with another student at some point . He 'd try to make friends then . . . That is , unless the teacher made him introduce himself first . Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Mr . Cain ! What have I told " Mr . Cain ! What have I told you about defacing private property ? " said a harsh Arabic voice from behind Dennis as all the snacks he 'd taken from the machine left his arms and pockets . The orderly line of bagged chips and candy bars floated back to the machine , slotting themselves back in to the springs . As they did this , the man speaking walked around in front of Dennis . It was Mr . Al - Zawari , Biochemistry teacher and resident telekinetic . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor looks up again , his Connor looks up again , his brow furrowed at Rose 's odd choice of words . " Am I alright what ? " He says , looking back down at his clipboard for a moment before looking back up at her . He then looks to Toni , and after scanning his pages for the ' alternative ' name that he had offered , gave a nod of approval before adding a small checkmark to the side with his pencil . " I 'm uh . . . I 'm fine , I 'm fine . Just concentrating . Mostly . " Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Thank you for your input , Ms " Thank you for your input , Ms . Crane . But Mr . Cain has been warned about this infraction before . " Mr . Al - Zawari said , looking over at the quiet girl and nodding . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 49 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Misty laughed " Oh well I 'm Misty laughed " Oh well I 'm sure if this was my only haunting ground I could think of some ways to entertain myself . Luckily it seems I 'm bound to Titan City itself and can go anywhere in it 's limits . Right now I 'm going to scout around . Perhaps a group who aren 't composed of Mediums . After all what else is a Poltergeist to do then cause mischief ! " Then Misty flew through the wall laughing . Robert ran into science class just as the bell rang and settled down at a table noting a new kid in class . He reached over to offer a handshake to Vince . " Hey , I 'm Robert Tanner nice to meet you . " Unknown to Robert his eyes were now silvery the modifications the nanites made were to his very eyes . " Mr Al - Zawari is right , you have been warned about this larceny before Mr . Cain . As such , three days of after school detention starting today , and you must work to help repair the machine you so haphazardly destroyed , the right way . " The holographic figure then turns to Alicia , as she states further . " Miss Crane , Principal Ellis would like to speak with you during 6th period . Her room is opposite the library , A104 . " With that , she fades away in a blue haze . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Uh huh , " Connor says in " Uh huh , " Connor says in response to Rose 's explanation , apparently not seeming to think it was all that strange despite his original reaction . He watches Toni carefully as he peeks at the clipboard . . . But there are no roles there . All that 's listed is a hand - written attendance sheet . " If you 're looking for something specific , you should try asking Miss Hall , she 's the director , " Connor says , flipping to another page before checking over another list of handwritten notes , " all that Mister Theroux and I have are technical notes and things that have to get done , " he says with a shrug . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Yeap , she 's bilingual . Me , " Yeap , she 's bilingual . Me , I have to study French , in about three minutes . Guess I 'll be seeing you later , Rose ! " Toni headed off to his French class . " I imagine you also have a free period as well ? And out of curiosity , are you alright ? " She looks him over with a pair of piercing emerald eyes , and her tone makes it clear she actually , genuinely cares . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Stage managers skip class " Stage managers skip class during tech periods because we have things to do , " Connor says , looking up at her for a few moments . He frowned a bit , seeming a bit puzzled as to why she was staring at him , but ultimately didn 't seem too disturbed by it . After a few more seconds of checking things off , he walked over to a nearby chair , sitting down and tucking his pencil into the clip on his clipboard with a sigh . " Yeah . I 'm fine . Just tired , " he says after reclining a bit . " Sleeping trouble . " Alicia nods politely , looking to ESSI for a moment more in acknowledgement . " Yes ma ' am . I 'll head over right away . " Seemingly , she meant it , immediately making her way along the same route that Dennis had taken a few moments earlier , passing by his locker on the way to the principle 's office . She takes a deep breath upon reaching the door , then slowly , carefully reaches up and gives the door two knocks . Despite the delicacy of the moment , they still come off as quite loud . At the very least however , it wasn 't door - shattering . " So many people in this city , you must be overworked ferrying them to the afterlife . " Deduces , before inquiring . " Do you enjoy being the Wicket Door ? " " Since I imagine ESSI informed you of our reason for meeting , I 'll be frank . In the heat of the unnessecary fanfare against your enrollment here , my colleagues neglected to ask how you personally feel about the parameters in place , and arranging your classes for your safety and comfort as well as other students . So in short : what is your stance in the matter and how would you like to modify your status , Alicia ? " She then offers a disarming smile , and a hand to shake , the other occupied with manifesting a cobalt force field the size of a plate , and maneuvering a pot of green tea and two china teacups to the coffee table before them both . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor shrugs , rubbing his Connor shrugs , rubbing his eyes for a brief moment afterwards . " Depends . Sometimes it 's sort - of annoying . Other times , you get a decent amount of satisfaction knowing that you 're helping people finally find peace , " he says with a shrug , " especially since there isn 't really much to be found around here , at least most of the time , " he adds under his breath . He turns , looking up to where the ghost had been a few moments before , and after failing to see her there , instead sighs and turns his gaze to the lighting fixtures above the stage . " Though I suppose it could be worse . I haven 't run into any Reapers just yet . " Alicia shakes the principle 's hand and takes a seat , but offers nothing in return other than the slightest of smiles . She sits almost stoically , with her hands in her lap , and her back straight , the power lines on her bracers and the central power note on her belt glowing softly , along with her white eyes . " . . . I 'm not sure I follow , " she says after a moment of silence , " if by my status , you mean my class lineup , then I think it would be best to keep the safety of others as a top concern , " she says , her voice somewhat emotionless . At least outwardly , it 's a bit difficult to tell how she truly feels about her current situation . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Vince looked up at the Vince looked up at the partially nanite 'd teen with a slight bewilderment . Piercing metallic eyes looked back down at him , but they weren 't judging for the moment . Rather , it was the eyes of the normal students that seemed to be judging the two at the moment . Had he managed to not be noticed by the others that easily ? - - " Vince . " He replied abruptly , shaking the hand with a quick grip and a single up and down motion . " - - transfered in today . " he added , shifting an arm to cover a doodle on his binder . It was just one of those . . . S things . You know , the really geometric things that show up on at least half a dozen binders during school . Yeah , you know . . . The S - thing ! http : / / i . imgur . com / U9IsW . jpg It wasn 't an important detail really , though the freehand lines came out decent , and he 'd used pen only , so that meant he could probably draw alright ? Who knew . Besides that one doodle , the binder looked clean .
|
Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 James Duncan High Open RP Nestled within the district of Old Braford , James Duncan High is a relatively new educational institution founded in 2012 , but it 's worth can 't be counted in years , but it 's purpose and facets . Named after the famed and fallen hero American Star , James Duncan High functions a revolutionary magnet school , it 's stellar curriculum catering to the needs of two populations : nonpowered and powered students . It 's facilities carry a old - world traditional sense of architecture meshed with cutting edge technology and alluring and smart decor , such as a holographic display above the dual sets of fountains near the front of the building bearing the various deeds of heroes throughout the day within the news . It 's overall structure is a initial brickwork outlined by solid titanium plating , mixed with other alloys often provided by scientific heroes as it faces reconstruction . Walking though the halls , a student would be introduced to the necessary locations within the school grounds by a onsite AI named ESSI , or Educational Systems and Security Interface . Classrooms aside from the obviously different standards of Fine Arts are equipped with desk interfaces that stream a miniaturized version of the smartboard lesson , and are detachable for greater ease of access . It 's cafeteria is outlined with the school 's colors of Red and Gold , bears fully stocked and functional kitchens , televisions that display local and school news , and a pristine view of a large open air courtyard along it 's perimeter that is used to hold dances , and separates the main school from the gym and sports facilities . It 's fine arts department is also notable , as aside from a Orchestra and Art hallway , Digital Media Room and Auditorium , it 's Drama organization is it 's pride and joy aside from it 's stellar football team , the James Duncan All Stars . Currently pacing before class starts within this room is a rather stressed Rosella Burdelon , who awaits the results of her audition for the role of Elphaba in the school 's first production of Wicked . Despite the relative irony of her role , Rose aims to do the best she can , though she is rudely reminded that competition brings out the best of the worst in people , as resident mean girl and former friend Madison Groves strolls in . Clad in a fashionable black nearly see - through blouse and semi short gold silk skirt , partnered with knee high black heeled boots , and full lengths of steely blond hair and piercing grey eyes , Madison 's model like attire grossly parallels that of Rose 's . " My concealer is Cle de Peau , Rosie . One bottle was probably worth more than your gypsy camp ! " Rose blinks at the insult , before simply shaking her head at the girl , muttering in french before replying . " One , I 'm French creole sweetheart , not that you have the brains to even spell the phrase . And two , I 'd slap you , but contracting herpes is not on my list of things to do today , Madison . " She states in a rather expert Boston Brahman accent nearly identical to Madison 's own , who opens her mouth to retort , but chooses silence as they move to their respective seats , as students file in , as does the teacher , ending the verbal war . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Stepping off the bus there Stepping off the bus there was little to tell that the teen aged Robert was a bit more then normal . Baggy jeans , sneakers , a white t shirt , blue hoodie , and black back pack . That was until you spot his back . The glow from the fiberoptics of his cybernetic spine shone through the fabric of the shirt , up to his bald head where it connects to the back of his skull with metallic spider like webbing of metal and faint blue nano cords seen under his skin . His viser connected to the metal band that ends at his ears and on his left arm he had a wearable computer gauntlet like device . He pulled up his hood over his head trying to hide his shaved condition . Without warning a crumbled up paper wad came flying and thought it was aimed for the back of his head he leaned to the left just in time to avoid being hit . He even caught it with his right hand and tossed it into the trash can he was passing . Just another morning at James Duncan High . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 33 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni Mercer didn 't have the Toni Mercer didn 't have the figure of either Rose or Maddie , but that was perfectly understandable . The clothing he usually wore could be thought of as " unisex " , and most of the people who realized he was male assumed he was gay . Not that he had a problem with people making that assumption , as long as they kept things civil . . . Toni smiled and nodded at Rosie as he found his own seat . From his pack he pulled out two sheets of music . Which one would he use for the audition ? Fortunately , being in the middle of the alphabet he had time to decide . He hoped he wouldn 't choose the same one Rose did ; he had gotten the role of Viola in Twelfth Night and didn 't find out until later that Rose had wanted it . Ah , well , at least she had beaten Maddie for Olivia . Which would she choose ? Elphaba was the lead role , but from what he 'd learned last week it was hitting the nail a bit squarely . Finally , he went with his gut instinct , and put " Popular " on top . If he guessed wrong , he had a fifty - fifty chance of being able to change it , depending on which end of the alphabet the auditions started on . . . Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Rose smiles to Toni as he Rose smiles to Toni as he enters , but takes a moment to note his music choice , commenting quietly from her seat beside him . " Oh , I chose No Good Deed , but don 't let that stop you . " The statement would earn a scoff from Madison , who inquires incredulously . " And you think you can pull it off ? Last time I checked Elphaba wasn 't loaded with silicon . " She insults , earning quite a few ' ooohs ' from the rest of the classroom . Madison , not yet yielding , simply turns to switch targets , staring down Toni like a snake . " Oh give me a break fruit loops , at least she can carry half a note . " She hisses , adding . " But I suppose you have better taste in clothes . . . for your standards I suppose . " Any other comments she could have lobbed are effectively cut off when she makes an attempt to plop into her chair , instead hitting the carpet hard on her backside , but the chair didn 't seem to move . . . almost as if it phased through to those with otherwordly senses . " Toni , are you ready ? " She asks with a smile , gesturing to the open door before Rose comments . " Just remember to breathe and not to overcomplicate the piece , you 'll be fine ! " Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 33 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 In the auditorium , Toni In the auditorium , Toni passed the sheet music to the pianist . Unfortunately , Maddie wasn 't in the auditorium at the moment ; she 'd have made a perfect target for some of the innuendoes . On the other hand , best to keep it as intended . He sang the piece contralto ( well within his usable range ) , and did , he thought , fairly well . " Very nice Toni , and the dynamics were sound . I really can 't nitpick here . . . but I was wondering why not Fiyero ? What made you choose Popular ? " She inquires with her everpresent honeylike tone , making it clear that brief stardom didn 't change how she treated anyone , and she was generally interested . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 The door suddenly busts open The door suddenly busts open and a simple " Sorry i 'm late , teacher . " Could be heard . The door opener stepped in and revealed to be Venomscale aka Damon Blake . He was a reptilian humanoid , with dark green scales covering his body , except the front where he had just horizontally striped though skin , colored tan . He also had a reptilian tail covered in scales . His hands and feet were clawed , and his eyes are red with black vertical stripe pupils . His head resembled a lizard much more than a human . He was wearing a sleeveless brown leather vest and blue jeans held in place by a black leather belt . He didn 't have any shoes due to his clawed feet . He walked to a chair to sit down and once he had gotten closer a small dent in his scales on the left shoulder could be seen , as if someone had attempted to stab him with a knife . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 33 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Good question . After all , I " Good question . After all , I need to exercise the lower end of my range , as well . I suppose it was just the habit of going for a showier number . " Toni considered that possibility that Miss Hall was a mind reader . He couldn 't think of a good reason to dismiss the idea . . . Elsewhere , Miss Hall simply smiles as she replies . " Well I see no point in arguing your decision , and yes , for your information , I am a telepath . . that 's part of the reason I left Broadway . You couldn 't go an inch across that stage without hearing what everyone thought of you , no matter how good or grand your performance was . " She reveals in a subdued tone before adding with a wry smile . " But for now shall we keep that a secret , most staff members know it , but I would prefer to leave it a surprise to Miss Groves and the like . " She can 't suppress a sneer at the end of the sentence , showing that she clearly wasn 't fond of the venomous girl . Shaking her head , she states in her usual and kind tone . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Venomscale stopped lifting Venomscale stopped lifting and looked at the bully . " Your mouth is full of shit , i think you were in the sewer last night . " He replied , while clenching his hands into fists , careful not to scratch himself with his own claws . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 33 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni nodded . " That did seem Toni nodded . " That did seem implied , yes . And of course , I figure you 'll give me whichever role you think will make the better play , or teach us more , or maybe both ? " " All of the above , and I think I have just the part , though you 'll get your role tomorrow ; got to build up SOME suspense now . " She jokes , before leading him back to the Drama room , in which he is gently and kindly ambushed by a smiling Rose and a not so happy Madison , who 's presence feels icy to say the least . Madison speaks frist , much to Rose 's chargin , as Miss Hall takes the next student to the auditorium , though giving Toni a clear look and message : ' If she gets out of line , simply beep me . ' " So , assuming you didn 't flop the entire thing I suppose your my only competition . besides gypsy queen over here . . " She mocks , with emphasis on the word gypsy , as Rose simply flips Madison the bird whilst addressing Toni . " Excuse the dog , she hasn 't had the tact to be spayed yet . And I 'm sure you nailed it Toni . . . but don 't think this means I won 't try any less harder to show you up . " She smiles to him , a clear look of genuine friendship passed as she walks away , sitting promptly to look through her sheet music , examining notes for future improvement . Meanwhile , Madison simply glares him down as she challenges . " If you have any dignity left , I suggest dropping out of the play now . . . then again , it 'd be fun to traunce you both . Ciao , fruit loops . " She deadpans on the last statement , before sauntering over to her own flock to compare notes on their auditions . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon then said : " You are far Damon then said : " You are far too ignorant . And i 'm not sure you even know what ignorant means . " He then got down on all four and stood that way for a moment , but then hissed and leapt forward whit great speed to deliver a straight punch to Kyle 's nose . Note that Damon has super strength . Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Kyle was sent several feet Kyle was sent several feet sprawling back by Damon 's sudden punch , a crunch heard as his nose is also promptly broken , blood streeaming down his face as Kyle struggles to get up against a weight rack , clutching his face . Any attempts for the boys to engage in round two is stunted by holographic figure of ESSI appearing before them . Modeled after the school 's principal Janet Ellis , a former heroine herself with the powers of kinetic field generation , it 's appearance is that of a stern looking woman with her hair in a tight bun , clad in a simple glowing business suit and skirt . " That is quite enough , Damon . Coach Wright please escort Mister Coleman to the Nurse 's office . " She commands , as the stiff man does so , urging the boy up angirly in response to his remarks , giving a curt if not slight nod of respect to Damon before exiting the room . " Since this is your first incident on school grounds , Miss Ellis has seen fit to provide you with only two sessions of after school detention , from 2 : 30 to 5 : 30 this afternoon and tomorrow . She also stated that she expects more from you given your academic performance . " With that statement , ESSI in a fold of blue , as other students staring at the scene give their differing reactions , mostly all smiles in Damon 's direction , save for the sneers of Kyle 's abandoned peers , who sulk off to the other side of the room leaderless for now . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Totally worth it . " Damon " Totally worth it . " Damon said , then turned to continue his weightlifting , given that the class has not ended yet . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 The moment the hologram The moment the hologram appeared Robert done the normal teenage boy behavior . " Wasn 't me . " Now that events were over he returned to his Jeet Kun Do practice striking a sand bag with quick fast minimal movement attacks . A perfect fighting style for someone with super fast reflexes , but wasn 't a speedster . " I think you broke his nose . He get lucky or did you pull your punch ? " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Gossip is just gossip . I don " Gossip is just gossip . I don 't care . That punch pretty much came from everyone here except for his goons . " Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 A voice from over at the A voice from over at the bench press where Damon had been joined the conversation . " A solid hit , Scales . A little brutish and unbalanced , but effective nonetheless . " The speaker was a short , stocky guy with pale skin , auburn hair , and ice - blue eyes . He smiled easily as he leaned on the bar of the bench press . " Me , I prefer a bit more subtlety in my approach to sending a message . Check the goon squad over there . " he said , indicating Kyle 's posse sulking by the leg press . At the corner of Robert and Damon 's eyes , the red - haired young man would seem to flicker briefly . Then Kyle 's goons were hollering and tripping over themselves as they 'd all been pantsed and their shoelaces had been tied together . The short guy smiled again and walked over to Damon and Robert . " How ya doin ' ? I 'm Andy Donovan . " - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon paused the Damon paused the weightlifting to look at Kyle 's goons as they start tripping . " Impressive speed . I 'm Damon Blake . " He released his right hand from the weights to give Andy a handshake , careful not to injure him with his clawed hand . " Doing good , but i feel like i 'm lifting wooden sticks here . " He said . Andy would notice that Damon has no trouble at all holding the maxed out weight bar with one hand . Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Oh , it 's not speed , persay . " Oh , it 's not speed , persay . Watch the clock there . " he said , pointing at the wall . The clock 's second hand ticked to : 55 , then it took five seconds to tick from : 55 to : 56 . After that , it progressed from : 56 to : 01 almost instantly . Andy grinned and leaned back on his arms . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Time manipulation , then . " Time manipulation , then . Still impressive . " He said as he watched the clock . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 33 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni smiled at both girls , Toni smiled at both girls , though if she were perceptive Maddie might have noticed the one directed at her was a bit fake . " Of course I didn 't flop . And I expect nothing less than your best from either of you . " Looking at Maddie , his smile faded as he added , " For whatever your best is worth . " In fact , if there were three things that landed him the stage management job for the school play , they were the fact that he was always early , the fact that he almost never talks unless he has to , and the fact that he has a free period first thing Tuesday Morning . To be fair , however , as Connor tapped his pencil against his clipboard while waiting for further instruction from the play 's director , his sunken eyes began to drift away , staring off into space as he thought of all the wonderful dreams that he could be having at that hour . After all , it wasn 't his fault that he could see ghosts , and it was even less of his fault to consider that they have the tendency to keep people up at night . Sure , every once in a while you get something interesting from a few of them ( a group of Union soldiers that once wandered through the walls of his bedroom gave him enough information to pass his Civil War test a few months ago ) , but more often than not , there 's a lot of noise , as if there were about six times as many people out on the streets at night than there should be . Connor pulled himself back to reality for a few moments as he realized that the director 's lips were moving again . He instinctively grabbed the paper coffee - cup next to him , nearly spilling it as he took a haphazard sip , and immediately begin scribbling on the paper attached to the clipboard . " . . . Sorry . Say that again ? " blue5150 Offline Last seen : 5 months 2 weeks ago Joined : 04 / 29 / 2014 - 12 : 43 The 72 classic olds 442 The 72 classic olds 442 pulled into the student parking . It wasn 't the prettiest looking car , it had a few dents and was a dull flat grey color . However the engine purred with perfection . Keith had spent countless hours restoring it . All he needed to do was finish the body work . He left the convertible top down and hopped out . He walked up to the school and opened the door . Her wore his school jacket with pride . He was a co captain of the hockey team and captain of the baseball team . " Mr Gateman , if you are done we still need those costumes rolled in from the drama room , Miss Hall left a key near your cup . And also , I 'd be sure to wipe away the coffee mustache before heading there . " He smiles as he notes , moving to the other wide of the stage before adding . " And please inform Miss Groves , Miss Burdelon and Mister Mercer that Miss Hall would like them to stay after school , same as you for dress rehearsal . " " If I didn 't know any better , I think she sees you as a threat . . . relish in that for a moment . And also , calm down . . . excessive studying is just going to tire you out for the rehearsal , whatever you get is whatever you get , mon ami . " She states softly . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 The Jock King would find his The Jock King would find his way into the nurse 's office , feeling a pulse of empathy almost immediately . In front of the red - mohawked menace was a scrawny boy sitting in a chair , turned towards the nurse with his hands folded in his lap and his leg pumping a hundred times per minute . He was nervous . . . He wore a basic Zipper Hoodie , navy blue , and tan cargo pants with simple , mid - price - range sneakers . He was one of those students who the Jock had never given a second thought to . The Nurse herself was reading over the paper in her hands : a doctor 's note , and also spoke with a man over the phone . Presumably the Doctor . " Yes I understand that he 's a special case . He seems to have the opposite effect . . . " The student in front of the nurse turned to see Kyle and offered him a couple paper towels to deal with the bleeding on his face . A good few drips had already reached his shirt and stained in ugly patterns with the already - existing sweat stains . The scrawny boy avoided saying anything , afraid he might pull on the wrong emotional chord and get himself in trouble with the populars . Kyle gave one of those cocky upward head nobs of ' thanks kid ' that the upper crust liked to do . The only reason he even fit in , this smaller teen , was because his powers were never out . The larger jock dabbed the blood from his face , careful to avoid touching his nose to make it hurt . He gave the outward tough - guy expression , even though he was in pain . Finally the Nurse hung up the phone and signed the document . " Okay Vincent . Now , I 'm approving your medication , but I need you to take this form to the principal . I 've signed it , so she knows it has my okay . " The teacher handed the paper and an unmarked flask to the boy , as well as a measuring cup that often came with cough syrup . Kyle gave an odd look to the nurse . Was he just given booze as medication ? " Remember Vincent , you 're only supposed to take 2 ounces at most , every 8 hours . A little bit during lunch , and you should be good until you get home . A little bit when you wake up , and a little bit before you go to bed . . . " The Nurse let out a sigh and shook her head . " I still find it hard to believe that you need to take CHASER of all things to stay like that . " Vincent winced at the word she used . Chaser was an unfortunate necessity to keep his power in check . If he didn 't take it , the likely scenario was that he 'd start heating up until everything around him starting bursting into flame . Vince nodded and gave a small " thanks . . . " before scurrying out the door . He hurried down to the principle 's office to relay the newly signed note . blue5150 Offline Last seen : 5 months 2 weeks ago Joined : 04 / 29 / 2014 - 12 : 43 As he entered the school he 'd As he entered the school he 'd be greeted by everyone . " what 's up man " another jock would say as he passed . " Hi Keith " a couple of girls would flirtatiously chime . Other popular kids would just hold thier fist out and nod as Keith fist bumped and returned the subtle nod . He was popular and charming . Even the teachers liked him . Always on time with assignments and didn 't even have to struggle to keep his 4 . 0 . Smart , handsome , charming , popular , and athletic . All should have been perfect in his world . It wasn 't . He 'd been sent to this school when his parents lost custody . He never talked about it . He was just gład his aunt welcomed him with open arms . He was different , but never let on . Her being different as well made it all easier to understand . As he walked up to his locker he passed the auditorium . Someone was singing , she sounded good he noted . Then he passed the gym where he spent alot of time . When he got to his locker he opened it up and placed a few books in it . Then he heard the locker next to him start to talk . " Little help here " a soft and almost nerdy voice said . Keith smiled , but tried to hide it as he opened the other locker . A short and skinny underclasman spilled out onto the floor . Pens and books and loose change scattering . " heya mort " . Keith said as he helped the much smaller guy up . " thanks Keith " mort replied . " I 'm glad you 're not like those other jerks . " who was it this time ? " Keith asked . " Steve and his crew " mort answered . " oh andthey took my lunch money " . Mort said frantically searching his pockets . " don 't worry , find me then and ill treat . " Keith said offering mort one of his granola bars . Mort took it as the bell wrang . " Oh no ! ! ! I can 't be late to thus class . " he quickly gathered some loose papers then turned to rush to class . He quickly turned back as Keith handed him the textbook he needed . He just looked at Keith , shook his head and took of down the hall . " we 'll Monica 's parents are in Fiji soooo . House party there ok ? " she turned and walked away looking back at Keith as he headed to class . " I 'll let you know " he said hustling by her trying not to be late . He then got to the door and walked in . He sat up front and took out his book . This was his favorite class . History Wipe away coffee mustache . He blinked , wiped his lip , crossed the instruction out , and nodded sleepily . " Alright Mister Theroux , " he said somewhat sleepily , before getting up and heading to the door . He paused , hand halfway to the doorknob , and stood there for a brief moment as he debated using the Sparklock Spell to make things easier . He eventually decided against it with a sigh ; as nice as convenience was , keeping a good secret was more important . He opened the door to the hallway , stepping out and making a beeline to the costume shop . It was a short trip , considering the school 's layout , but when he arrived , the costume crew itself seemed abscent . " Oh right . First period class , " he muttered to himself , flipping to an empty piece of paper and scrawling a note before placing it atop a rumpled costume . He exited , closing the door behind him quietly . Next , the auditioners . Hopefully nobody would bother him on the way over . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Wow time manipulation . That " Wow time manipulation . That 's kind of rare isn 't it . Me technically I 'm a normal kid , just I have this . " He pulled up the back of his shirt and showed off the cybernetic spine . " A successful failure . It repaired the damage to my back was only supposed to be three vertebrae but it kept growing replacing my entire spine now it going into my skull and taking over my entire nervous system . Even my sensory nerves are being replaced I used to need glasses when I was a kid now my eyesight better than normal . So much so I almost have a six sense . " He took a step back from the punching back and activated his overclocking abilities his spine lit up as the artificial nerves went into high speed . Then the delivered about ten punches to the punching bag in the same spot in about 4 seconds so he was pulling about 2 and half punches per second . Then it was over and the spine went dim as he caught his breath " Not quite super speed , but getting there , and I can only do it in short bursts . " " So , Connor , right ? " She smiles , and he would note she didn 't have to fish for his name like other students would if they didn 't know him , she clearly paid attention . She then adds with a smirk . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Finally Vince made it to the Finally Vince made it to the Principle 's office . Eyes were watching the halls , so he made the subtle move of simply placing the signed piece of paper int he Principle 's in - mailbox . He 'd been excused from first period class to take care of this , so He 'd have to catch the second period class session to start his day and meet anyone really . Until then . . . He decided to just chill in the cafeteria playing a little bit of Clicky Cape and snacking on twizzlers . The table he picked was off to a corner , his back to a wall and such . He wore a pair of normal earphones ; a cheap , 2 dollar , over the ear folding pair . Nerdy sound tracks played while he mindlessly flew his clicky cape hero between buildings to try to beat his highscore . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Well go ask the coach to use " Well go ask the coach to use the Danger Room . Were supposed to learn to control our abilities here that why we have a state of the art gym . Think you can even set the gravity in those rooms to higher than earth normal . Thought I don 't know personally haven 't used them . " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Danger zone , huh ? " Damon " Danger room , huh ? " Damon said , thought for a moment , then added : " Not a bad idea . " Damon walked over to the coach and asked : " May I use the danger room ? " then quickly added : " This gym is useless for me , i 'm lifting wooden sticks here at the maximum weight on the weight bar . " Gideon Cross Offline Last seen : 2 days 21 hours ago Joined : 08 / 30 / 2013 - 19 : 04 Shepherd had entered the Shepherd had entered the school a he was being given a tour of the facilities . He had been planning on tutoring after seeing Toni and Rose in action . They peaked his interest in the fight . He figured if he could help them and others learn to control their powers more it would be a good way for him to keep busy on the days he wasn 't in the TCPD . " The weapons and obstacles that are erected will not kill you , but adapt to your limits . However , if at any time this gets too much , call out to ESSI , she is monitoring the room as we speak . " With that , he escorts the nonpowered boys out of the now Danger Room , before shouting as he leaves . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Now this is more like it . " " Now this is more like it . " Damon said , then walked over to a one ton car . " Can you set these up with chains so it 's more comfortable to lift these ? It 's not like the car will lose any weight . " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor raises an eyebrow , and Connor raises an eyebrow , and begins pulling the rack out and into the next room . " . . . Right , " he says after a moment , looking at Rose with a furrowed brow . Something felt . . . Odd . " I 've seen you around school , passed you on the stage . " She then added as they rolled the rack down the hallway . " What ; d you THINK I meant ? " She asks with a smile . He shakes his head again , doing his best to avoid eye contact with the janitor that had passed away several months ago , before deciding to change the subject . " . . . So you 're Rose , right ? I 'm supposed to tell you to stay afterwards for your first rehearsal . " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Incredible . " Damon said , " Incredible . " Damon said , then grabbing the chain to a one ton car with both hands and pulling it down , lifting the car upwards . He had no problem lifting it , but it was obvious he was putting in more effort than with the weights previously . After lifting the car a few times he decided to go to a two ton car , grabbing the chain and pulling it . He managed to lift this one as well and continued to lift it up and down for a moment , then moved on to a three ton car . He grabbed the chain and pulled it , able to lift this one as well , but lifted and lowered it only one time . He went on to a five ton car and grabbed the chain , pulling it downwards . He was able to lift it , but required more effort . He decided to stick with five tons for now , lifting it up and down . " He looks sad . . . I don 't think he was respected very well before he died , so at the very least we can try now . " With that said , she moves to pick up several items of trash left by careless students and depositing it in a wastebin . Turning back to Connor with a smile , she replies , probably answering his question . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 In the seats watching the In the seats watching the stage was the wayward spirit Misty Sinclair . She didn 't expect anyone to notice her she was relaxed and wasn 't making herself material . Those who could see her would see she had her feet propped up on the seat and would be revealing given she has a very short leather skirt on . Dressed like a Goth girl her outfit was once black now she 's dead it comes out a gray variation . If someone really focus on her arms they were see fant puncture marks for needles . She was also being annoying though she believed no one could hear her making cat calls and insulting those on stage . " What is this a Elementary school production ? I seen better at a kindergarten show ! " At the Gym Robert went to the sparing dummies . The ones if you hit one arm the other spins around to hit you . It was great practice learning how to attack and switch to blocking fast . The harder you hit the faster you have to block . Just what he needed to work on . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor sighs . " . . . I had a Connor sighs . " . . . I had a feeling that 's what you meant , " he says , looking back at the janitor . " I 've been having regular conversations with that guy from the day he died . Considering nobody talked to him anyway , I wonder if he even knows he 's dead . " He looks back at Rose . " Connor Gateman , current Wicket Door , if that makes any sense to you . " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Oh my ! It 's freaky when " Oh my ! It 's freaky when people notice me like that ! What the matter deary can 't take a little criticism . " She laughed " Besides I hate scaring kids I may be a pain , but I 'm not a monster . " She then sticks her tongue out at Rose " Go right ahead make yourself look foolish no one else can see me . . . . wait can anyone else see me ? " She stands up and turns around bending over flashing Rose " I was so sure I was invisible to live folk . " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " We can all see you . Best " We can all see you . Best Ghost Ever , ten out of ten , " Connor said passively as he attended to the costume rack . Hopefully two people would be enough to pull off the bluff . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon stopped lifting the Damon stopped lifting the five ton car and turned to the exit . On his way out he noticed Dennis lifting up ten tons without problem . " Enough for me today , I 've got other classes to catch . " He said to the coach before leaving the danger room . " Rosella Burdelon , latest with in the Burdelon line and voodoo priestess when it suits me . And don 't worry , they are too engrossed in the script to noticed . . . and no I mean like moreso than the rest of us , it 's kinda creepy . " She points to the circle of students backstage , eyeing the script like it 's a godsend . Leaving the rack near the left curtain , she turns to lead Connor near Misty so it appears like a regular conversation . . . mostly . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Job summary , Death 's " Job summary , Death 's Paperboy , " he says in complete deadpan , rolling his eyes slightly before lowering his voice , " when people die , I 'm the doorman and the welcoming committee . When someone starts going on a murderous rampage , it 's my job to , you know , stop . . . That , " he says , waving vaguely . " Fun job . Wonderful benefits . " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Don 't worry about little old " Don 't worry about little old me . I even saved your lives . . . well okay I just fought a battle with some creepy demon things . Just it so BOOORING being dead . " She looked to the group of students with the scrips . Being closer they could guess her age was about 19 or 20 . She rose up and flew over to them and yanked the scrip out of one of the students hands . He blinked and looked to the script " Seems I have a case of butter fingers . " He reached down to pick it up as Misty returned to her seat . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor shrugs , towing the Connor shrugs , towing the clothing rack to where it had to be . " You 'll figure it out , " he said with a sigh as he checked his clipboard for a moment , " or . . . Something . " He looks up , then turns a page on his board over . Near the wall of the danger room , Alicia Crane sits by herself , rreading a book . Considering she isn 't watching the jocks do their thing , nor doing anything herself , it seems odd that she would pick a training room as a place to sit , let alone read . Every once in a while , the other students cast glances in her direction , none of them seeming all that favorable . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Gym was about over for Robert Gym was about over for Robert so he ended his practice and went for the locker room to change . Removing his shirt before he fully went in his body wasn 't buffed it was a lean build more for speed then power . Right before he reached the locker room his back flared and he stumbled bracing himself against the wall as the power surge raced along his artificial nerves . He knew what it meant , somewhere in his body new nanites were taking over extending the network and augmenting more of his natural body . He stumiched down the fear . . how long till he was technically a machine ? " I told the witch doctor I was in love with you . And then the witch doctor , he told me what to do . He said that . . . . Ooo eee , ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla , bing bang Ooo eee , ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla , bing bang . . . " She laughed . " I want everyone here after school for the first rehearsal , including you Mister Gateman ! " He adds before stepping out himself to head backstage . Rose turns back to Connor with a smile . " We can take care of it after school , and don 't worry , secret 's safe with me . " With that said , she heads to her locker to retrieve her American History textbook , hoping that her next class would be mostly uneventful . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Don 't worry about me cutie . " Don 't worry about me cutie . Who am I going to tell ? The Janitor ? " Misty said now that the auditions were over there wasn 't really anything to pick on so she drifted up in the air and floated for the doors . " Do they still shower after Gym class ? " Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Rosella , almost on a second Rosella , almost on a second thought , realized that one , she was so out of it she didn 't realize she had a free period , and that History was not until third . Placing the book sheepishly back in her locker , she returned to the Auditorium to find it mostly empty save for Toni , Connor , and Misty . Entering quietly , she decided to rarely and openly practice her abilities , willing herself to invisibility as she travels to her friend 's position . Seating herself right beside Misty , she allows herself to return to visibility in a emerald haze , sitting crosslegged like she had been there the entire time . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 33 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni noticed Rose talking to Toni noticed Rose talking to thin air , so he concentrated on a spell Setzer had taught him . It let him see Misty , vaguely , and hear her . But she was leaving , so he didn 't worry about her . He noticed Shepherd being given a tour , and Connor checking his notepad . " What 's up , Connor ? Caught the acting bug ? " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Misty stopped spotting Misty stopped spotting Shepherd " Hey I know that guy . " Makes a face " Really what 's the point of being invisible and unnoticed if like half the people in the room can see and hear you ! That 's like cheating ! " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor looks up for a moment , Connor looks up for a moment , shakes his head , then looks back down at the clipboard . " I 'm stage managing . Not acting , " he says plainly , flipping another page over before looking up . " Wait , you 're not part of the cast , are you ? " Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 33 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Anthony Mercer . " It " Anthony Mercer . " It probably wasn 't down as Toni . . . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Finally , second period was Finally , second period was starting up . Anything was better than sitting alone in the cafeteria for the past hour or so . Well . . . Technically speaking , some huge guy had come through , but he seemed more content to just eat on his own than to chit - chat . Either way , Vince closed down his game of Clicky Cape and stashed his headphones and made his way to class . He stopped by his locker to pick out his book for the class and seemed to linger a minute longer than he needed to , letting out a sigh . He didn 't know anybody here . Not really . He 'd been transferred in just today , so what point was there to try very hard right away ? He pressed his forehead against the cool aluminum shelf in the middle of his locker and shut his eyes for a second . Just taking in the sounds and the hustle - bustle of the students talking between classes . He noted the social groups all around him . The geekier kids who focused on studies . The nerdier kids who cared more for different media . The sports kids and drama kids , and then there were the odd ones out . The supers . They were Pariah 's and idols at the same time . Something to be jealous of , but also fearful of . . . Where did he actually belong then ? Finally , he clicked his door shut and gave the dial a careless spin . Some students lodged paperclips into their lockers to make it easier to open later , but Vince certainly didn 't trust this peer - group right now . Finally he made his way to his sciences class . He walked in with the stragglers , taking a seat near the back , and closer to the window . A good place to not be noticed . He liked the subject . Science . It seemed to hold secrets to unlock the universe , though the current class was much more simple . Chemistry at least meant he 'd be forced into pairing up with another student at some point . He 'd try to make friends then . . . That is , unless the teacher made him introduce himself first . Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Mr . Cain ! What have I told " Mr . Cain ! What have I told you about defacing private property ? " said a harsh Arabic voice from behind Dennis as all the snacks he 'd taken from the machine left his arms and pockets . The orderly line of bagged chips and candy bars floated back to the machine , slotting themselves back in to the springs . As they did this , the man speaking walked around in front of Dennis . It was Mr . Al - Zawari , Biochemistry teacher and resident telekinetic . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor looks up again , his Connor looks up again , his brow furrowed at Rose 's odd choice of words . " Am I alright what ? " He says , looking back down at his clipboard for a moment before looking back up at her . He then looks to Toni , and after scanning his pages for the ' alternative ' name that he had offered , gave a nod of approval before adding a small checkmark to the side with his pencil . " I 'm uh . . . I 'm fine , I 'm fine . Just concentrating . Mostly . " Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Thank you for your input , Ms " Thank you for your input , Ms . Crane . But Mr . Cain has been warned about this infraction before . " Mr . Al - Zawari said , looking over at the quiet girl and nodding . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 41 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Misty laughed " Oh well I 'm Misty laughed " Oh well I 'm sure if this was my only haunting ground I could think of some ways to entertain myself . Luckily it seems I 'm bound to Titan City itself and can go anywhere in it 's limits . Right now I 'm going to scout around . Perhaps a group who aren 't composed of Mediums . After all what else is a Poltergeist to do then cause mischief ! " Then Misty flew through the wall laughing . Robert ran into science class just as the bell rang and settled down at a table noting a new kid in class . He reached over to offer a handshake to Vince . " Hey , I 'm Robert Tanner nice to meet you . " Unknown to Robert his eyes were now silvery the modifications the nanites made were to his very eyes . " Mr Al - Zawari is right , you have been warned about this larceny before Mr . Cain . As such , three days of after school detention starting today , and you must work to help repair the machine you so haphazardly destroyed , the right way . " The holographic figure then turns to Alicia , as she states further . " Miss Crane , Principal Ellis would like to speak with you during 6th period . Her room is opposite the library , A104 . " With that , she fades away in a blue haze . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Uh huh , " Connor says in " Uh huh , " Connor says in response to Rose 's explanation , apparently not seeming to think it was all that strange despite his original reaction . He watches Toni carefully as he peeks at the clipboard . . . But there are no roles there . All that 's listed is a hand - written attendance sheet . " If you 're looking for something specific , you should try asking Miss Hall , she 's the director , " Connor says , flipping to another page before checking over another list of handwritten notes , " all that Mister Theroux and I have are technical notes and things that have to get done , " he says with a shrug . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 33 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Yeap , she 's bilingual . Me , " Yeap , she 's bilingual . Me , I have to study French , in about three minutes . Guess I 'll be seeing you later , Rose ! " Toni headed off to his French class . " I imagine you also have a free period as well ? And out of curiosity , are you alright ? " She looks him over with a pair of piercing emerald eyes , and her tone makes it clear she actually , genuinely cares . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Stage managers skip class " Stage managers skip class during tech periods because we have things to do , " Connor says , looking up at her for a few moments . He frowned a bit , seeming a bit puzzled as to why she was staring at him , but ultimately didn 't seem too disturbed by it . After a few more seconds of checking things off , he walked over to a nearby chair , sitting down and tucking his pencil into the clip on his clipboard with a sigh . " Yeah . I 'm fine . Just tired , " he says after reclining a bit . " Sleeping trouble . " Alicia nods politely , looking to ESSI for a moment more in acknowledgement . " Yes ma ' am . I 'll head over right away . " Seemingly , she meant it , immediately making her way along the same route that Dennis had taken a few moments earlier , passing by his locker on the way to the principle 's office . She takes a deep breath upon reaching the door , then slowly , carefully reaches up and gives the door two knocks . Despite the delicacy of the moment , they still come off as quite loud . At the very least however , it wasn 't door - shattering . " So many people in this city , you must be overworked ferrying them to the afterlife . " Deduces , before inquiring . " Do you enjoy being the Wicket Door ? " " Since I imagine ESSI informed you of our reason for meeting , I 'll be frank . In the heat of the unnessecary fanfare against your enrollment here , my colleagues neglected to ask how you personally feel about the parameters in place , and arranging your classes for your safety and comfort as well as other students . So in short : what is your stance in the matter and how would you like to modify your status , Alicia ? " She then offers a disarming smile , and a hand to shake , the other occupied with manifesting a cobalt force field the size of a plate , and maneuvering a pot of green tea and two china teacups to the coffee table before them both . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor shrugs , rubbing his Connor shrugs , rubbing his eyes for a brief moment afterwards . " Depends . Sometimes it 's sort - of annoying . Other times , you get a decent amount of satisfaction knowing that you 're helping people finally find peace , " he says with a shrug , " especially since there isn 't really much to be found around here , at least most of the time , " he adds under his breath . He turns , looking up to where the ghost had been a few moments before , and after failing to see her there , instead sighs and turns his gaze to the lighting fixtures above the stage . " Though I suppose it could be worse . I haven 't run into any Reapers just yet . " Alicia shakes the principle 's hand and takes a seat , but offers nothing in return other than the slightest of smiles . She sits almost stoically , with her hands in her lap , and her back straight , the power lines on her bracers and the central power note on her belt glowing softly , along with her white eyes . " . . . I 'm not sure I follow , " she says after a moment of silence , " if by my status , you mean my class lineup , then I think it would be best to keep the safety of others as a top concern , " she says , her voice somewhat emotionless . At least outwardly , it 's a bit difficult to tell how she truly feels about her current situation . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Vince looked up at the Vince looked up at the partially nanite 'd teen with a slight bewilderment . Piercing metallic eyes looked back down at him , but they weren 't judging for the moment . Rather , it was the eyes of the normal students that seemed to be judging the two at the moment . Had he managed to not be noticed by the others that easily ? - - " Vince . " He replied abruptly , shaking the hand with a quick grip and a single up and down motion . " - - transfered in today . " he added , shifting an arm to cover a doodle on his binder . It was just one of those . . . S things . You know , the really geometric things that show up on at least half a dozen binders during school . Yeah , you know . . . The S - thing ! http : / / i . imgur . com / U9IsW . jpg It wasn 't an important detail really , though the freehand lines came out decent , and he 'd used pen only , so that meant he could probably draw alright ? Who knew . Besides that one doodle , the binder looked clean .
|
Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 James Duncan High Open RP Nestled within the district of Old Braford , James Duncan High is a relatively new educational institution founded in 2012 , but it 's worth can 't be counted in years , but it 's purpose and facets . Named after the famed and fallen hero American Star , James Duncan High functions a revolutionary magnet school , it 's stellar curriculum catering to the needs of two populations : nonpowered and powered students . It 's facilities carry a old - world traditional sense of architecture meshed with cutting edge technology and alluring and smart decor , such as a holographic display above the dual sets of fountains near the front of the building bearing the various deeds of heroes throughout the day within the news . It 's overall structure is a initial brickwork outlined by solid titanium plating , mixed with other alloys often provided by scientific heroes as it faces reconstruction . Walking though the halls , a student would be introduced to the necessary locations within the school grounds by a onsite AI named ESSI , or Educational Systems and Security Interface . Classrooms aside from the obviously different standards of Fine Arts are equipped with desk interfaces that stream a miniaturized version of the smartboard lesson , and are detachable for greater ease of access . It 's cafeteria is outlined with the school 's colors of Red and Gold , bears fully stocked and functional kitchens , televisions that display local and school news , and a pristine view of a large open air courtyard along it 's perimeter that is used to hold dances , and separates the main school from the gym and sports facilities . It 's fine arts department is also notable , as aside from a Orchestra and Art hallway , Digital Media Room and Auditorium , it 's Drama organization is it 's pride and joy aside from it 's stellar football team , the James Duncan All Stars . Currently pacing before class starts within this room is a rather stressed Rosella Burdelon , who awaits the results of her audition for the role of Elphaba in the school 's first production of Wicked . Despite the relative irony of her role , Rose aims to do the best she can , though she is rudely reminded that competition brings out the best of the worst in people , as resident mean girl and former friend Madison Groves strolls in . Clad in a fashionable black nearly see - through blouse and semi short gold silk skirt , partnered with knee high black heeled boots , and full lengths of steely blond hair and piercing grey eyes , Madison 's model like attire grossly parallels that of Rose 's . " My concealer is Cle de Peau , Rosie . One bottle was probably worth more than your gypsy camp ! " Rose blinks at the insult , before simply shaking her head at the girl , muttering in french before replying . " One , I 'm French creole sweetheart , not that you have the brains to even spell the phrase . And two , I 'd slap you , but contracting herpes is not on my list of things to do today , Madison . " She states in a rather expert Boston Brahman accent nearly identical to Madison 's own , who opens her mouth to retort , but chooses silence as they move to their respective seats , as students file in , as does the teacher , ending the verbal war . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Stepping off the bus there Stepping off the bus there was little to tell that the teen aged Robert was a bit more then normal . Baggy jeans , sneakers , a white t shirt , blue hoodie , and black back pack . That was until you spot his back . The glow from the fiberoptics of his cybernetic spine shone through the fabric of the shirt , up to his bald head where it connects to the back of his skull with metallic spider like webbing of metal and faint blue nano cords seen under his skin . His viser connected to the metal band that ends at his ears and on his left arm he had a wearable computer gauntlet like device . He pulled up his hood over his head trying to hide his shaved condition . Without warning a crumbled up paper wad came flying and thought it was aimed for the back of his head he leaned to the left just in time to avoid being hit . He even caught it with his right hand and tossed it into the trash can he was passing . Just another morning at James Duncan High . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 44 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni Mercer didn 't have the Toni Mercer didn 't have the figure of either Rose or Maddie , but that was perfectly understandable . The clothing he usually wore could be thought of as " unisex " , and most of the people who realized he was male assumed he was gay . Not that he had a problem with people making that assumption , as long as they kept things civil . . . Toni smiled and nodded at Rosie as he found his own seat . From his pack he pulled out two sheets of music . Which one would he use for the audition ? Fortunately , being in the middle of the alphabet he had time to decide . He hoped he wouldn 't choose the same one Rose did ; he had gotten the role of Viola in Twelfth Night and didn 't find out until later that Rose had wanted it . Ah , well , at least she had beaten Maddie for Olivia . Which would she choose ? Elphaba was the lead role , but from what he 'd learned last week it was hitting the nail a bit squarely . Finally , he went with his gut instinct , and put " Popular " on top . If he guessed wrong , he had a fifty - fifty chance of being able to change it , depending on which end of the alphabet the auditions started on . . . Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Rose smiles to Toni as he Rose smiles to Toni as he enters , but takes a moment to note his music choice , commenting quietly from her seat beside him . " Oh , I chose No Good Deed , but don 't let that stop you . " The statement would earn a scoff from Madison , who inquires incredulously . " And you think you can pull it off ? Last time I checked Elphaba wasn 't loaded with silicon . " She insults , earning quite a few ' ooohs ' from the rest of the classroom . Madison , not yet yielding , simply turns to switch targets , staring down Toni like a snake . " Oh give me a break fruit loops , at least she can carry half a note . " She hisses , adding . " But I suppose you have better taste in clothes . . . for your standards I suppose . " Any other comments she could have lobbed are effectively cut off when she makes an attempt to plop into her chair , instead hitting the carpet hard on her backside , but the chair didn 't seem to move . . . almost as if it phased through to those with otherwordly senses . " Toni , are you ready ? " She asks with a smile , gesturing to the open door before Rose comments . " Just remember to breathe and not to overcomplicate the piece , you 'll be fine ! " Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 44 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 In the auditorium , Toni In the auditorium , Toni passed the sheet music to the pianist . Unfortunately , Maddie wasn 't in the auditorium at the moment ; she 'd have made a perfect target for some of the innuendoes . On the other hand , best to keep it as intended . He sang the piece contralto ( well within his usable range ) , and did , he thought , fairly well . " Very nice Toni , and the dynamics were sound . I really can 't nitpick here . . . but I was wondering why not Fiyero ? What made you choose Popular ? " She inquires with her everpresent honeylike tone , making it clear that brief stardom didn 't change how she treated anyone , and she was generally interested . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 The door suddenly busts open The door suddenly busts open and a simple " Sorry i 'm late , teacher . " Could be heard . The door opener stepped in and revealed to be Venomscale aka Damon Blake . He was a reptilian humanoid , with dark green scales covering his body , except the front where he had just horizontally striped though skin , colored tan . He also had a reptilian tail covered in scales . His hands and feet were clawed , and his eyes are red with black vertical stripe pupils . His head resembled a lizard much more than a human . He was wearing a sleeveless brown leather vest and blue jeans held in place by a black leather belt . He didn 't have any shoes due to his clawed feet . He walked to a chair to sit down and once he had gotten closer a small dent in his scales on the left shoulder could be seen , as if someone had attempted to stab him with a knife . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 44 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Good question . After all , I " Good question . After all , I need to exercise the lower end of my range , as well . I suppose it was just the habit of going for a showier number . " Toni considered that possibility that Miss Hall was a mind reader . He couldn 't think of a good reason to dismiss the idea . . . Elsewhere , Miss Hall simply smiles as she replies . " Well I see no point in arguing your decision , and yes , for your information , I am a telepath . . that 's part of the reason I left Broadway . You couldn 't go an inch across that stage without hearing what everyone thought of you , no matter how good or grand your performance was . " She reveals in a subdued tone before adding with a wry smile . " But for now shall we keep that a secret , most staff members know it , but I would prefer to leave it a surprise to Miss Groves and the like . " She can 't suppress a sneer at the end of the sentence , showing that she clearly wasn 't fond of the venomous girl . Shaking her head , she states in her usual and kind tone . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Venomscale stopped lifting Venomscale stopped lifting and looked at the bully . " Your mouth is full of shit , i think you were in the sewer last night . " He replied , while clenching his hands into fists , careful not to scratch himself with his own claws . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 44 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni nodded . " That did seem Toni nodded . " That did seem implied , yes . And of course , I figure you 'll give me whichever role you think will make the better play , or teach us more , or maybe both ? " " All of the above , and I think I have just the part , though you 'll get your role tomorrow ; got to build up SOME suspense now . " She jokes , before leading him back to the Drama room , in which he is gently and kindly ambushed by a smiling Rose and a not so happy Madison , who 's presence feels icy to say the least . Madison speaks frist , much to Rose 's chargin , as Miss Hall takes the next student to the auditorium , though giving Toni a clear look and message : ' If she gets out of line , simply beep me . ' " So , assuming you didn 't flop the entire thing I suppose your my only competition . besides gypsy queen over here . . " She mocks , with emphasis on the word gypsy , as Rose simply flips Madison the bird whilst addressing Toni . " Excuse the dog , she hasn 't had the tact to be spayed yet . And I 'm sure you nailed it Toni . . . but don 't think this means I won 't try any less harder to show you up . " She smiles to him , a clear look of genuine friendship passed as she walks away , sitting promptly to look through her sheet music , examining notes for future improvement . Meanwhile , Madison simply glares him down as she challenges . " If you have any dignity left , I suggest dropping out of the play now . . . then again , it 'd be fun to traunce you both . Ciao , fruit loops . " She deadpans on the last statement , before sauntering over to her own flock to compare notes on their auditions . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon then said : " You are far Damon then said : " You are far too ignorant . And i 'm not sure you even know what ignorant means . " He then got down on all four and stood that way for a moment , but then hissed and leapt forward whit great speed to deliver a straight punch to Kyle 's nose . Note that Damon has super strength . Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Kyle was sent several feet Kyle was sent several feet sprawling back by Damon 's sudden punch , a crunch heard as his nose is also promptly broken , blood streeaming down his face as Kyle struggles to get up against a weight rack , clutching his face . Any attempts for the boys to engage in round two is stunted by holographic figure of ESSI appearing before them . Modeled after the school 's principal Janet Ellis , a former heroine herself with the powers of kinetic field generation , it 's appearance is that of a stern looking woman with her hair in a tight bun , clad in a simple glowing business suit and skirt . " That is quite enough , Damon . Coach Wright please escort Mister Coleman to the Nurse 's office . " She commands , as the stiff man does so , urging the boy up angirly in response to his remarks , giving a curt if not slight nod of respect to Damon before exiting the room . " Since this is your first incident on school grounds , Miss Ellis has seen fit to provide you with only two sessions of after school detention , from 2 : 30 to 5 : 30 this afternoon and tomorrow . She also stated that she expects more from you given your academic performance . " With that statement , ESSI in a fold of blue , as other students staring at the scene give their differing reactions , mostly all smiles in Damon 's direction , save for the sneers of Kyle 's abandoned peers , who sulk off to the other side of the room leaderless for now . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Totally worth it . " Damon " Totally worth it . " Damon said , then turned to continue his weightlifting , given that the class has not ended yet . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 The moment the hologram The moment the hologram appeared Robert done the normal teenage boy behavior . " Wasn 't me . " Now that events were over he returned to his Jeet Kun Do practice striking a sand bag with quick fast minimal movement attacks . A perfect fighting style for someone with super fast reflexes , but wasn 't a speedster . " I think you broke his nose . He get lucky or did you pull your punch ? " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Gossip is just gossip . I don " Gossip is just gossip . I don 't care . That punch pretty much came from everyone here except for his goons . " Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 A voice from over at the A voice from over at the bench press where Damon had been joined the conversation . " A solid hit , Scales . A little brutish and unbalanced , but effective nonetheless . " The speaker was a short , stocky guy with pale skin , auburn hair , and ice - blue eyes . He smiled easily as he leaned on the bar of the bench press . " Me , I prefer a bit more subtlety in my approach to sending a message . Check the goon squad over there . " he said , indicating Kyle 's posse sulking by the leg press . At the corner of Robert and Damon 's eyes , the red - haired young man would seem to flicker briefly . Then Kyle 's goons were hollering and tripping over themselves as they 'd all been pantsed and their shoelaces had been tied together . The short guy smiled again and walked over to Damon and Robert . " How ya doin ' ? I 'm Andy Donovan . " - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon paused the Damon paused the weightlifting to look at Kyle 's goons as they start tripping . " Impressive speed . I 'm Damon Blake . " He released his right hand from the weights to give Andy a handshake , careful not to injure him with his clawed hand . " Doing good , but i feel like i 'm lifting wooden sticks here . " He said . Andy would notice that Damon has no trouble at all holding the maxed out weight bar with one hand . Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Oh , it 's not speed , persay . " Oh , it 's not speed , persay . Watch the clock there . " he said , pointing at the wall . The clock 's second hand ticked to : 55 , then it took five seconds to tick from : 55 to : 56 . After that , it progressed from : 56 to : 01 almost instantly . Andy grinned and leaned back on his arms . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Time manipulation , then . " Time manipulation , then . Still impressive . " He said as he watched the clock . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 44 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni smiled at both girls , Toni smiled at both girls , though if she were perceptive Maddie might have noticed the one directed at her was a bit fake . " Of course I didn 't flop . And I expect nothing less than your best from either of you . " Looking at Maddie , his smile faded as he added , " For whatever your best is worth . " In fact , if there were three things that landed him the stage management job for the school play , they were the fact that he was always early , the fact that he almost never talks unless he has to , and the fact that he has a free period first thing Tuesday Morning . To be fair , however , as Connor tapped his pencil against his clipboard while waiting for further instruction from the play 's director , his sunken eyes began to drift away , staring off into space as he thought of all the wonderful dreams that he could be having at that hour . After all , it wasn 't his fault that he could see ghosts , and it was even less of his fault to consider that they have the tendency to keep people up at night . Sure , every once in a while you get something interesting from a few of them ( a group of Union soldiers that once wandered through the walls of his bedroom gave him enough information to pass his Civil War test a few months ago ) , but more often than not , there 's a lot of noise , as if there were about six times as many people out on the streets at night than there should be . Connor pulled himself back to reality for a few moments as he realized that the director 's lips were moving again . He instinctively grabbed the paper coffee - cup next to him , nearly spilling it as he took a haphazard sip , and immediately begin scribbling on the paper attached to the clipboard . " . . . Sorry . Say that again ? " blue5150 Offline Last seen : 5 months 2 weeks ago Joined : 04 / 29 / 2014 - 12 : 43 The 72 classic olds 442 The 72 classic olds 442 pulled into the student parking . It wasn 't the prettiest looking car , it had a few dents and was a dull flat grey color . However the engine purred with perfection . Keith had spent countless hours restoring it . All he needed to do was finish the body work . He left the convertible top down and hopped out . He walked up to the school and opened the door . Her wore his school jacket with pride . He was a co captain of the hockey team and captain of the baseball team . " Mr Gateman , if you are done we still need those costumes rolled in from the drama room , Miss Hall left a key near your cup . And also , I 'd be sure to wipe away the coffee mustache before heading there . " He smiles as he notes , moving to the other wide of the stage before adding . " And please inform Miss Groves , Miss Burdelon and Mister Mercer that Miss Hall would like them to stay after school , same as you for dress rehearsal . " " If I didn 't know any better , I think she sees you as a threat . . . relish in that for a moment . And also , calm down . . . excessive studying is just going to tire you out for the rehearsal , whatever you get is whatever you get , mon ami . " She states softly . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 The Jock King would find his The Jock King would find his way into the nurse 's office , feeling a pulse of empathy almost immediately . In front of the red - mohawked menace was a scrawny boy sitting in a chair , turned towards the nurse with his hands folded in his lap and his leg pumping a hundred times per minute . He was nervous . . . He wore a basic Zipper Hoodie , navy blue , and tan cargo pants with simple , mid - price - range sneakers . He was one of those students who the Jock had never given a second thought to . The Nurse herself was reading over the paper in her hands : a doctor 's note , and also spoke with a man over the phone . Presumably the Doctor . " Yes I understand that he 's a special case . He seems to have the opposite effect . . . " The student in front of the nurse turned to see Kyle and offered him a couple paper towels to deal with the bleeding on his face . A good few drips had already reached his shirt and stained in ugly patterns with the already - existing sweat stains . The scrawny boy avoided saying anything , afraid he might pull on the wrong emotional chord and get himself in trouble with the populars . Kyle gave one of those cocky upward head nobs of ' thanks kid ' that the upper crust liked to do . The only reason he even fit in , this smaller teen , was because his powers were never out . The larger jock dabbed the blood from his face , careful to avoid touching his nose to make it hurt . He gave the outward tough - guy expression , even though he was in pain . Finally the Nurse hung up the phone and signed the document . " Okay Vincent . Now , I 'm approving your medication , but I need you to take this form to the principal . I 've signed it , so she knows it has my okay . " The teacher handed the paper and an unmarked flask to the boy , as well as a measuring cup that often came with cough syrup . Kyle gave an odd look to the nurse . Was he just given booze as medication ? " Remember Vincent , you 're only supposed to take 2 ounces at most , every 8 hours . A little bit during lunch , and you should be good until you get home . A little bit when you wake up , and a little bit before you go to bed . . . " The Nurse let out a sigh and shook her head . " I still find it hard to believe that you need to take CHASER of all things to stay like that . " Vincent winced at the word she used . Chaser was an unfortunate necessity to keep his power in check . If he didn 't take it , the likely scenario was that he 'd start heating up until everything around him starting bursting into flame . Vince nodded and gave a small " thanks . . . " before scurrying out the door . He hurried down to the principle 's office to relay the newly signed note . blue5150 Offline Last seen : 5 months 2 weeks ago Joined : 04 / 29 / 2014 - 12 : 43 As he entered the school he 'd As he entered the school he 'd be greeted by everyone . " what 's up man " another jock would say as he passed . " Hi Keith " a couple of girls would flirtatiously chime . Other popular kids would just hold thier fist out and nod as Keith fist bumped and returned the subtle nod . He was popular and charming . Even the teachers liked him . Always on time with assignments and didn 't even have to struggle to keep his 4 . 0 . Smart , handsome , charming , popular , and athletic . All should have been perfect in his world . It wasn 't . He 'd been sent to this school when his parents lost custody . He never talked about it . He was just gład his aunt welcomed him with open arms . He was different , but never let on . Her being different as well made it all easier to understand . As he walked up to his locker he passed the auditorium . Someone was singing , she sounded good he noted . Then he passed the gym where he spent alot of time . When he got to his locker he opened it up and placed a few books in it . Then he heard the locker next to him start to talk . " Little help here " a soft and almost nerdy voice said . Keith smiled , but tried to hide it as he opened the other locker . A short and skinny underclasman spilled out onto the floor . Pens and books and loose change scattering . " heya mort " . Keith said as he helped the much smaller guy up . " thanks Keith " mort replied . " I 'm glad you 're not like those other jerks . " who was it this time ? " Keith asked . " Steve and his crew " mort answered . " oh andthey took my lunch money " . Mort said frantically searching his pockets . " don 't worry , find me then and ill treat . " Keith said offering mort one of his granola bars . Mort took it as the bell wrang . " Oh no ! ! ! I can 't be late to thus class . " he quickly gathered some loose papers then turned to rush to class . He quickly turned back as Keith handed him the textbook he needed . He just looked at Keith , shook his head and took of down the hall . " we 'll Monica 's parents are in Fiji soooo . House party there ok ? " she turned and walked away looking back at Keith as he headed to class . " I 'll let you know " he said hustling by her trying not to be late . He then got to the door and walked in . He sat up front and took out his book . This was his favorite class . History Wipe away coffee mustache . He blinked , wiped his lip , crossed the instruction out , and nodded sleepily . " Alright Mister Theroux , " he said somewhat sleepily , before getting up and heading to the door . He paused , hand halfway to the doorknob , and stood there for a brief moment as he debated using the Sparklock Spell to make things easier . He eventually decided against it with a sigh ; as nice as convenience was , keeping a good secret was more important . He opened the door to the hallway , stepping out and making a beeline to the costume shop . It was a short trip , considering the school 's layout , but when he arrived , the costume crew itself seemed abscent . " Oh right . First period class , " he muttered to himself , flipping to an empty piece of paper and scrawling a note before placing it atop a rumpled costume . He exited , closing the door behind him quietly . Next , the auditioners . Hopefully nobody would bother him on the way over . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Wow time manipulation . That " Wow time manipulation . That 's kind of rare isn 't it . Me technically I 'm a normal kid , just I have this . " He pulled up the back of his shirt and showed off the cybernetic spine . " A successful failure . It repaired the damage to my back was only supposed to be three vertebrae but it kept growing replacing my entire spine now it going into my skull and taking over my entire nervous system . Even my sensory nerves are being replaced I used to need glasses when I was a kid now my eyesight better than normal . So much so I almost have a six sense . " He took a step back from the punching back and activated his overclocking abilities his spine lit up as the artificial nerves went into high speed . Then the delivered about ten punches to the punching bag in the same spot in about 4 seconds so he was pulling about 2 and half punches per second . Then it was over and the spine went dim as he caught his breath " Not quite super speed , but getting there , and I can only do it in short bursts . " " So , Connor , right ? " She smiles , and he would note she didn 't have to fish for his name like other students would if they didn 't know him , she clearly paid attention . She then adds with a smirk . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Finally Vince made it to the Finally Vince made it to the Principle 's office . Eyes were watching the halls , so he made the subtle move of simply placing the signed piece of paper int he Principle 's in - mailbox . He 'd been excused from first period class to take care of this , so He 'd have to catch the second period class session to start his day and meet anyone really . Until then . . . He decided to just chill in the cafeteria playing a little bit of Clicky Cape and snacking on twizzlers . The table he picked was off to a corner , his back to a wall and such . He wore a pair of normal earphones ; a cheap , 2 dollar , over the ear folding pair . Nerdy sound tracks played while he mindlessly flew his clicky cape hero between buildings to try to beat his highscore . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Well go ask the coach to use " Well go ask the coach to use the Danger Room . Were supposed to learn to control our abilities here that why we have a state of the art gym . Think you can even set the gravity in those rooms to higher than earth normal . Thought I don 't know personally haven 't used them . " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Danger zone , huh ? " Damon " Danger room , huh ? " Damon said , thought for a moment , then added : " Not a bad idea . " Damon walked over to the coach and asked : " May I use the danger room ? " then quickly added : " This gym is useless for me , i 'm lifting wooden sticks here at the maximum weight on the weight bar . " Gideon Cross Offline Last seen : 2 days 21 hours ago Joined : 08 / 30 / 2013 - 19 : 04 Shepherd had entered the Shepherd had entered the school a he was being given a tour of the facilities . He had been planning on tutoring after seeing Toni and Rose in action . They peaked his interest in the fight . He figured if he could help them and others learn to control their powers more it would be a good way for him to keep busy on the days he wasn 't in the TCPD . " The weapons and obstacles that are erected will not kill you , but adapt to your limits . However , if at any time this gets too much , call out to ESSI , she is monitoring the room as we speak . " With that , he escorts the nonpowered boys out of the now Danger Room , before shouting as he leaves . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Now this is more like it . " " Now this is more like it . " Damon said , then walked over to a one ton car . " Can you set these up with chains so it 's more comfortable to lift these ? It 's not like the car will lose any weight . " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor raises an eyebrow , and Connor raises an eyebrow , and begins pulling the rack out and into the next room . " . . . Right , " he says after a moment , looking at Rose with a furrowed brow . Something felt . . . Odd . " I 've seen you around school , passed you on the stage . " She then added as they rolled the rack down the hallway . " What ; d you THINK I meant ? " She asks with a smile . He shakes his head again , doing his best to avoid eye contact with the janitor that had passed away several months ago , before deciding to change the subject . " . . . So you 're Rose , right ? I 'm supposed to tell you to stay afterwards for your first rehearsal . " Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 " Incredible . " Damon said , " Incredible . " Damon said , then grabbing the chain to a one ton car with both hands and pulling it down , lifting the car upwards . He had no problem lifting it , but it was obvious he was putting in more effort than with the weights previously . After lifting the car a few times he decided to go to a two ton car , grabbing the chain and pulling it . He managed to lift this one as well and continued to lift it up and down for a moment , then moved on to a three ton car . He grabbed the chain and pulled it , able to lift this one as well , but lifted and lowered it only one time . He went on to a five ton car and grabbed the chain , pulling it downwards . He was able to lift it , but required more effort . He decided to stick with five tons for now , lifting it up and down . " He looks sad . . . I don 't think he was respected very well before he died , so at the very least we can try now . " With that said , she moves to pick up several items of trash left by careless students and depositing it in a wastebin . Turning back to Connor with a smile , she replies , probably answering his question . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 In the seats watching the In the seats watching the stage was the wayward spirit Misty Sinclair . She didn 't expect anyone to notice her she was relaxed and wasn 't making herself material . Those who could see her would see she had her feet propped up on the seat and would be revealing given she has a very short leather skirt on . Dressed like a Goth girl her outfit was once black now she 's dead it comes out a gray variation . If someone really focus on her arms they were see fant puncture marks for needles . She was also being annoying though she believed no one could hear her making cat calls and insulting those on stage . " What is this a Elementary school production ? I seen better at a kindergarten show ! " At the Gym Robert went to the sparing dummies . The ones if you hit one arm the other spins around to hit you . It was great practice learning how to attack and switch to blocking fast . The harder you hit the faster you have to block . Just what he needed to work on . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor sighs . " . . . I had a Connor sighs . " . . . I had a feeling that 's what you meant , " he says , looking back at the janitor . " I 've been having regular conversations with that guy from the day he died . Considering nobody talked to him anyway , I wonder if he even knows he 's dead . " He looks back at Rose . " Connor Gateman , current Wicket Door , if that makes any sense to you . " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Oh my ! It 's freaky when " Oh my ! It 's freaky when people notice me like that ! What the matter deary can 't take a little criticism . " She laughed " Besides I hate scaring kids I may be a pain , but I 'm not a monster . " She then sticks her tongue out at Rose " Go right ahead make yourself look foolish no one else can see me . . . . wait can anyone else see me ? " She stands up and turns around bending over flashing Rose " I was so sure I was invisible to live folk . " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " We can all see you . Best " We can all see you . Best Ghost Ever , ten out of ten , " Connor said passively as he attended to the costume rack . Hopefully two people would be enough to pull off the bluff . Faceless Offline Last seen : 1 year 6 months ago Joined : 05 / 22 / 2014 - 12 : 24 Damon stopped lifting the Damon stopped lifting the five ton car and turned to the exit . On his way out he noticed Dennis lifting up ten tons without problem . " Enough for me today , I 've got other classes to catch . " He said to the coach before leaving the danger room . " Rosella Burdelon , latest with in the Burdelon line and voodoo priestess when it suits me . And don 't worry , they are too engrossed in the script to noticed . . . and no I mean like moreso than the rest of us , it 's kinda creepy . " She points to the circle of students backstage , eyeing the script like it 's a godsend . Leaving the rack near the left curtain , she turns to lead Connor near Misty so it appears like a regular conversation . . . mostly . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Job summary , Death 's " Job summary , Death 's Paperboy , " he says in complete deadpan , rolling his eyes slightly before lowering his voice , " when people die , I 'm the doorman and the welcoming committee . When someone starts going on a murderous rampage , it 's my job to , you know , stop . . . That , " he says , waving vaguely . " Fun job . Wonderful benefits . " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Don 't worry about little old " Don 't worry about little old me . I even saved your lives . . . well okay I just fought a battle with some creepy demon things . Just it so BOOORING being dead . " She looked to the group of students with the scrips . Being closer they could guess her age was about 19 or 20 . She rose up and flew over to them and yanked the scrip out of one of the students hands . He blinked and looked to the script " Seems I have a case of butter fingers . " He reached down to pick it up as Misty returned to her seat . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor shrugs , towing the Connor shrugs , towing the clothing rack to where it had to be . " You 'll figure it out , " he said with a sigh as he checked his clipboard for a moment , " or . . . Something . " He looks up , then turns a page on his board over . Near the wall of the danger room , Alicia Crane sits by herself , rreading a book . Considering she isn 't watching the jocks do their thing , nor doing anything herself , it seems odd that she would pick a training room as a place to sit , let alone read . Every once in a while , the other students cast glances in her direction , none of them seeming all that favorable . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Gym was about over for Robert Gym was about over for Robert so he ended his practice and went for the locker room to change . Removing his shirt before he fully went in his body wasn 't buffed it was a lean build more for speed then power . Right before he reached the locker room his back flared and he stumbled bracing himself against the wall as the power surge raced along his artificial nerves . He knew what it meant , somewhere in his body new nanites were taking over extending the network and augmenting more of his natural body . He stumiched down the fear . . how long till he was technically a machine ? " I told the witch doctor I was in love with you . And then the witch doctor , he told me what to do . He said that . . . . Ooo eee , ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla , bing bang Ooo eee , ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla , bing bang . . . " She laughed . " I want everyone here after school for the first rehearsal , including you Mister Gateman ! " He adds before stepping out himself to head backstage . Rose turns back to Connor with a smile . " We can take care of it after school , and don 't worry , secret 's safe with me . " With that said , she heads to her locker to retrieve her American History textbook , hoping that her next class would be mostly uneventful . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 " Don 't worry about me cutie . " Don 't worry about me cutie . Who am I going to tell ? The Janitor ? " Misty said now that the auditions were over there wasn 't really anything to pick on so she drifted up in the air and floated for the doors . " Do they still shower after Gym class ? " Gladatoria Offline Last seen : 6 days 6 hours ago Joined : 09 / 08 / 2013 - 14 : 20 Rosella , almost on a second Rosella , almost on a second thought , realized that one , she was so out of it she didn 't realize she had a free period , and that History was not until third . Placing the book sheepishly back in her locker , she returned to the Auditorium to find it mostly empty save for Toni , Connor , and Misty . Entering quietly , she decided to rarely and openly practice her abilities , willing herself to invisibility as she travels to her friend 's position . Seating herself right beside Misty , she allows herself to return to visibility in a emerald haze , sitting crosslegged like she had been there the entire time . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 44 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 Toni noticed Rose talking to Toni noticed Rose talking to thin air , so he concentrated on a spell Setzer had taught him . It let him see Misty , vaguely , and hear her . But she was leaving , so he didn 't worry about her . He noticed Shepherd being given a tour , and Connor checking his notepad . " What 's up , Connor ? Caught the acting bug ? " RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Misty stopped spotting Misty stopped spotting Shepherd " Hey I know that guy . " Makes a face " Really what 's the point of being invisible and unnoticed if like half the people in the room can see and hear you ! That 's like cheating ! " D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor looks up for a moment , Connor looks up for a moment , shakes his head , then looks back down at the clipboard . " I 'm stage managing . Not acting , " he says plainly , flipping another page over before looking up . " Wait , you 're not part of the cast , are you ? " Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 44 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Anthony Mercer . " It " Anthony Mercer . " It probably wasn 't down as Toni . . . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Finally , second period was Finally , second period was starting up . Anything was better than sitting alone in the cafeteria for the past hour or so . Well . . . Technically speaking , some huge guy had come through , but he seemed more content to just eat on his own than to chit - chat . Either way , Vince closed down his game of Clicky Cape and stashed his headphones and made his way to class . He stopped by his locker to pick out his book for the class and seemed to linger a minute longer than he needed to , letting out a sigh . He didn 't know anybody here . Not really . He 'd been transferred in just today , so what point was there to try very hard right away ? He pressed his forehead against the cool aluminum shelf in the middle of his locker and shut his eyes for a second . Just taking in the sounds and the hustle - bustle of the students talking between classes . He noted the social groups all around him . The geekier kids who focused on studies . The nerdier kids who cared more for different media . The sports kids and drama kids , and then there were the odd ones out . The supers . They were Pariah 's and idols at the same time . Something to be jealous of , but also fearful of . . . Where did he actually belong then ? Finally , he clicked his door shut and gave the dial a careless spin . Some students lodged paperclips into their lockers to make it easier to open later , but Vince certainly didn 't trust this peer - group right now . Finally he made his way to his sciences class . He walked in with the stragglers , taking a seat near the back , and closer to the window . A good place to not be noticed . He liked the subject . Science . It seemed to hold secrets to unlock the universe , though the current class was much more simple . Chemistry at least meant he 'd be forced into pairing up with another student at some point . He 'd try to make friends then . . . That is , unless the teacher made him introduce himself first . Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Mr . Cain ! What have I told " Mr . Cain ! What have I told you about defacing private property ? " said a harsh Arabic voice from behind Dennis as all the snacks he 'd taken from the machine left his arms and pockets . The orderly line of bagged chips and candy bars floated back to the machine , slotting themselves back in to the springs . As they did this , the man speaking walked around in front of Dennis . It was Mr . Al - Zawari , Biochemistry teacher and resident telekinetic . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor looks up again , his Connor looks up again , his brow furrowed at Rose 's odd choice of words . " Am I alright what ? " He says , looking back down at his clipboard for a moment before looking back up at her . He then looks to Toni , and after scanning his pages for the ' alternative ' name that he had offered , gave a nod of approval before adding a small checkmark to the side with his pencil . " I 'm uh . . . I 'm fine , I 'm fine . Just concentrating . Mostly . " Xselcier Offline Last seen : 1 week 13 hours ago Joined : 08 / 26 / 2013 - 11 : 54 " Thank you for your input , Ms " Thank you for your input , Ms . Crane . But Mr . Cain has been warned about this infraction before . " Mr . Al - Zawari said , looking over at the quiet girl and nodding . - Putting yourself in another persons shoes emotionally is something that everyone has to experience eventually . It 's part of learning to be a human being . Roleplayers do it for fun . RottenLuck Offline Last seen : 1 hour 52 min ago Joined : 12 / 05 / 2012 - 20 : 32 Misty laughed " Oh well I 'm Misty laughed " Oh well I 'm sure if this was my only haunting ground I could think of some ways to entertain myself . Luckily it seems I 'm bound to Titan City itself and can go anywhere in it 's limits . Right now I 'm going to scout around . Perhaps a group who aren 't composed of Mediums . After all what else is a Poltergeist to do then cause mischief ! " Then Misty flew through the wall laughing . Robert ran into science class just as the bell rang and settled down at a table noting a new kid in class . He reached over to offer a handshake to Vince . " Hey , I 'm Robert Tanner nice to meet you . " Unknown to Robert his eyes were now silvery the modifications the nanites made were to his very eyes . " Mr Al - Zawari is right , you have been warned about this larceny before Mr . Cain . As such , three days of after school detention starting today , and you must work to help repair the machine you so haphazardly destroyed , the right way . " The holographic figure then turns to Alicia , as she states further . " Miss Crane , Principal Ellis would like to speak with you during 6th period . Her room is opposite the library , A104 . " With that , she fades away in a blue haze . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Uh huh , " Connor says in " Uh huh , " Connor says in response to Rose 's explanation , apparently not seeming to think it was all that strange despite his original reaction . He watches Toni carefully as he peeks at the clipboard . . . But there are no roles there . All that 's listed is a hand - written attendance sheet . " If you 're looking for something specific , you should try asking Miss Hall , she 's the director , " Connor says , flipping to another page before checking over another list of handwritten notes , " all that Mister Theroux and I have are technical notes and things that have to get done , " he says with a shrug . Foradain Offline Last seen : 1 hour 44 min ago Joined : 10 / 25 / 2013 - 21 : 06 " Yeap , she 's bilingual . Me , " Yeap , she 's bilingual . Me , I have to study French , in about three minutes . Guess I 'll be seeing you later , Rose ! " Toni headed off to his French class . " I imagine you also have a free period as well ? And out of curiosity , are you alright ? " She looks him over with a pair of piercing emerald eyes , and her tone makes it clear she actually , genuinely cares . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 " Stage managers skip class " Stage managers skip class during tech periods because we have things to do , " Connor says , looking up at her for a few moments . He frowned a bit , seeming a bit puzzled as to why she was staring at him , but ultimately didn 't seem too disturbed by it . After a few more seconds of checking things off , he walked over to a nearby chair , sitting down and tucking his pencil into the clip on his clipboard with a sigh . " Yeah . I 'm fine . Just tired , " he says after reclining a bit . " Sleeping trouble . " Alicia nods politely , looking to ESSI for a moment more in acknowledgement . " Yes ma ' am . I 'll head over right away . " Seemingly , she meant it , immediately making her way along the same route that Dennis had taken a few moments earlier , passing by his locker on the way to the principle 's office . She takes a deep breath upon reaching the door , then slowly , carefully reaches up and gives the door two knocks . Despite the delicacy of the moment , they still come off as quite loud . At the very least however , it wasn 't door - shattering . " So many people in this city , you must be overworked ferrying them to the afterlife . " Deduces , before inquiring . " Do you enjoy being the Wicket Door ? " " Since I imagine ESSI informed you of our reason for meeting , I 'll be frank . In the heat of the unnessecary fanfare against your enrollment here , my colleagues neglected to ask how you personally feel about the parameters in place , and arranging your classes for your safety and comfort as well as other students . So in short : what is your stance in the matter and how would you like to modify your status , Alicia ? " She then offers a disarming smile , and a hand to shake , the other occupied with manifesting a cobalt force field the size of a plate , and maneuvering a pot of green tea and two china teacups to the coffee table before them both . D - Pad Offline Last seen : 2 months 1 week ago Joined : 09 / 15 / 2013 - 14 : 34 Connor shrugs , rubbing his Connor shrugs , rubbing his eyes for a brief moment afterwards . " Depends . Sometimes it 's sort - of annoying . Other times , you get a decent amount of satisfaction knowing that you 're helping people finally find peace , " he says with a shrug , " especially since there isn 't really much to be found around here , at least most of the time , " he adds under his breath . He turns , looking up to where the ghost had been a few moments before , and after failing to see her there , instead sighs and turns his gaze to the lighting fixtures above the stage . " Though I suppose it could be worse . I haven 't run into any Reapers just yet . " Alicia shakes the principle 's hand and takes a seat , but offers nothing in return other than the slightest of smiles . She sits almost stoically , with her hands in her lap , and her back straight , the power lines on her bracers and the central power note on her belt glowing softly , along with her white eyes . " . . . I 'm not sure I follow , " she says after a moment of silence , " if by my status , you mean my class lineup , then I think it would be best to keep the safety of others as a top concern , " she says , her voice somewhat emotionless . At least outwardly , it 's a bit difficult to tell how she truly feels about her current situation . Stalker Offline Last seen : 1 day 10 hours ago Joined : 05 / 21 / 2014 - 20 : 28 Vince looked up at the Vince looked up at the partially nanite 'd teen with a slight bewilderment . Piercing metallic eyes looked back down at him , but they weren 't judging for the moment . Rather , it was the eyes of the normal students that seemed to be judging the two at the moment . Had he managed to not be noticed by the others that easily ? - - " Vince . " He replied abruptly , shaking the hand with a quick grip and a single up and down motion . " - - transfered in today . " he added , shifting an arm to cover a doodle on his binder . It was just one of those . . . S things . You know , the really geometric things that show up on at least half a dozen binders during school . Yeah , you know . . . The S - thing ! http : / / i . imgur . com / U9IsW . jpg It wasn 't an important detail really , though the freehand lines came out decent , and he 'd used pen only , so that meant he could probably draw alright ? Who knew . Besides that one doodle , the binder looked clean .
|
Cause here we go again folks ! The school year is upon us here in the lovely Midwest . I realize that in a lot of places school has already started … but perhaps you can still use this lovely thought as you 're sending your child back to school this year . Speaking of THIS year . Its a big one for us . My BABY is going into Kindergarten ! And I 'm so excited ! And also terrified ! And probably you know , I think there are maybe one or two staff members familiar with our family who are also somewhat terrified that our baby is going into Kindergarten because they have watched her grow up with two older brothers … Each season she would toddle in and out of the school walking a little taller , spouting a few more words , pointing out a few more numbers . This child is ready . MORE than ready . She 's loud and exuberant and wholly unapologetic about her ideas ! I 'm half way expecting a phone call home the first day explaining why she had to be removed from the principal 's office because she didn 't understand why she could not be the principal that day as she was certain it was her turn . Some of the prayers I say for these children , I tell you . They are something . And my oldest . My spectrum child , M is heading into fourth grade and I cannot even believe it . Can not . He had such a rough year last year that really by February , I had mentally tossed all of his academic goals and just told him to focus on making it though his day every day . " Get to the end and try not to cry . Afterwards we 'll have snack . " Big goals . Thankfully , as always , M absorbs much more than we think , and he seems to be in an ok spot academically . He maybe be a little behind , but we have worked hard this summer to catch him up . He is set up for a great year so far . I have created a " transition plan " for him and his teacher reached out a couple of weeks ago to set up an appointment with us for an early meeting . He has seen and spent time in his classroom and time with his teacher . He is on great medication to help with his ADHD . I have LOTS of backups at the ready for homeschool co - ops , additional tutoring and learning plans to supplement his school work if necessary and I have to say , having that ready to go , has really made me feel more comfortable with him being in a regular classroom . Maybe because I 'm not afraid to pull him out if needed . I 'm not afraid to try something else if this just isn 't working . Sometimes you just cannot put a triangle where a circle should go , you just can 't . If you have a special needs child heading back to school and you are concerned about " where they are " academically or how they are going to do this year , remember this : M 's first grade teacher once made an announcement to the parents of her students at the beginning of the year regarding homework and expectations , " They are young . They have a LONG road ahead . Please remember this . Pick your battles . " ~ Mrs . P , First grade teacher And Mr . A , my middle child . * sigh * I 'm not even sure what to say . I never worry about him ; he doesn 't need it . He 's responsible , a self - starter , super smart , even gifted possibly . His biggest problem actually is that he indeed IS the middle child . He always feels that he doesn 't get enough attention , even when we go out of our way to give him extra attention . Oh , and possibly that he is sleep deprived . He has always been sleep - deprived . Like from birth . M just feels that if he is awake , Mr . A should be awake too . Its been difficult for Mr . A , although he is learning to fight back . We 're enrolling him in additional extra - curricular activities this year to try to broaden his world a little bit . How quickly I go into a defensive mode . Am I jaded ? Do I think everyone 's out to get me ? I have no idea . We are on vacation right now and a few days ago we took the children to Disney World . In the past we have always gotten the " special needs " pass for Mr . M . Sometimes we used it , sometimes we didn 't . This year , M was having a difficult time transitioning to the crowds and noise and movement all around him , so we went to get the " pass " . They have a new - ish pass now that is linked to your park tickets or your park magic band and has a photo attached to it , so that it can 't be sold or used by someone not in your party . The cast member at the counter wanted to know what we needed the pass for , a perfectly reasonable question and why I thought we would need a pass for him throughout the day . I told her and she accepted my explanation immediately , but for some reason , I felt the need to defend my response . " Look at him , " I said , " he can 't even stand here with me right now . There is no way he is going to make it through a lengthy queue with a crowd of people in the hot sun " . At this point , M was jumping up and down hurling himself towards the service counter trying to pull his body up and then crashing down on the floor where he would lay down and spread out as if he were making snow angels on the linoleum . He was turning his head from side to side repeating noises , " bleh bleh bleh " , is a favorite phrase at the moment ( from Hotel Transylvania 2 ) . By the time we left , I felt like she didn 't believe me , even with the obvious display of noise sensitivity and over - stimulation . I would like to point out that now , looking back , I am sure ALL of this was in my head . She was perfectly polite and helpful . However , at this point , with a 9 - year - old on the spectrum , why in the world would I even care if a cast member at a theme park thought I was trying to " pull one over " on the system ? I have tougher skin than that . Or at least I think I do . Maybe I don 't ? Maybe I am tired . Am I constantly on # BeFierce # Don ' tGoDefensive A lot . I worry about everything . My kids . My family . The new condo building going up down the street from the elementary school . Politics . Whether or not my children actually remember their manners when they are away from me . Bless their hearts we try hard . And sometimes I worry about myself . I asked my cat to brush his teeth the other morning and I swear , I thought that was the end . I was sure my mind was going . You see , I am always trying new organizational techniques to try to find something that will help us get out the door , teach good habits and keep the children up with their chores , activities and homework . Plus - we have 1 ASD child and one 5 - year - old , just to mix it up good . We 've tried charts with stars , time outs ( Who does this work for ? ? My children think its fun ! ) , checklists and good ol ' fashioned hollering . I think I have found something that seems to work for me though ( for now ) … . I made the children little schedule sheets for morning , afternoon and bedtime . They are all different according to responsibilities and age . They change every week , so that the chores change and on days where the children have activities after school the times are more like " guidelines " . They have to follow each sheet before any free time of any kind and I only give 1 reminder with a 10 - minute time allowance to fix their chore , homework , etc . If the timer goes off , they then choose one of two possible consequences for their infraction . Now that I 'm writing it out it sounds a little complicated , but really its very simple and it has cut down on my shouting at the children to do every little thing . The timer does most of the work . It either goes off and the work is done . Or it goes off and the child chooses their consequence . ( I don 't give a consequence if they 're working on it when the timer goes off . ) Anyway . It was day 2 of our new chore / work system and was going pretty well and I was giving Mr . M a first reminder about brushing his teeth and I just couldn 't find him . The children run all over the house in the morning like little chickens and I dunno , I looked and the first face that I saw at about the height where Mr . M would be was George , our cat , so I said , " Go brush your teeth ! " . George glared at me in disgust and curled up again on his chair in the kitchen . G was there ! It was odd . He said , " I don 't think that 's something cats do honey " . I thought well , that was it . It was a nice run , but the marbles are ready to roll . I 'm a few colors short of a crayon box . Since then , I 've made up with George and we 've discussed how I shouldn 't expect him to brush his teeth and he wanted to know if he could have more canned food . I said no . ( Ok , maybe he didn 't say that - but he was thinking it . I could tell . ) I 've chalked my missing marbles up to a lack of coffee and not getting out of bed earlier . A constant problem for me . Oy vey . I 've even had my doctor tell me that my " disorganized brain " is due to being with several young children all day , every day and that over time , as they get older , my brain processes should return ( hopefully ) to normal . There is actually a medical term for it , I can 't remember it at the moment . ( Ha ! ) There really is though . Its an inability to go completely from one thought to the next because of constant and repetitive interruption . I have actually gotten better , but obviously , re : my conversations with George the cat , not back to normal . In the meantime , it helps to have an understanding pet . My boy M . He gets the short end of the stick on the playground so often . When he was younger , maybe 5 or 6 , he would get pushed around at the park sometimes because he didn 't understand how to interact with children as well as others and sometimes they made fun of him . He didn 't realize they were making fun of him and that made them mad ! So eventually they would resort to physical pushes and punches which he understood hurt , but not why he was being hurt . Eventually he learned to push back and punch back . It was a big milestone for him ! And also , the beginning of hard knocks on the playground . He 's a kid , it 'll happen . Well , in our " everyone 's a bully society " , the parents jump first and ask questions later . I admit , I 've done the same thing - we 're all worried about our own children . Its a safety issue . The problem is that many children never learn to fix their own problems . I am so angry . A dad on the playground today verbally assaulted M like he was an adult . He was raving at him and M didn 't know how to respond . He just started screaming . He 's 8 . I RAN over to where this was happening and tried to redirect the man 's anger towards me . The dad kept repeating himself over and over and eventually I said that we needed to either call the paramedics , an attorney or let it go . After everyone calmed down we eventually had the children talk about how hitting was not appropriate behavior for the playground . M apologized 3 times , tried to fist - bump and shake hands with the boy and the boy refused to participate . Those are huge social milestones for M . He even called the boy a " little dude " . SO much progress . In the end , it wasn 't the dad that went to the school to make a report . It was me . M is currently so afraid of the dad , he doesn 't want to go to the playground . I am sure we don 't have all the information . Still , stress . Over a playground . : : headdesk : : This week has been very busy and rather anxiety ridden for me . You see the thing about having a special needs child is that you really need an amazing support system . The other thing about having a special needs child is that you don 't always have the time to engage that support system . So , I am the special needs co - chair on the elementary school 's PTA . There were only 2 other special needs parents who attended the first PTA meeting of the year , and one of those was the other special needs co - chair ! The thing is that its often much , much more difficult to leave a SN child with a sitter if they have to be somewhat trained , experienced , etc . Even if you have a sitter that can handle them , it can often be a challenge to leave for a variety of other obstacles . For example , M wanted the sitter to help him with his homework , not me . My answer , " No " . M , " But whyyyyy ? " . " Because she won 't know which parts of your homework to push you to do and which parts you need some guidance with . " It can be so challenging to figure out when they are being stubborn with a self - care ( hair washing ) or homework job ( reading directions ) and when they simply can 't do it , re : tying shoes , drawing detailed pictures for math ) . I digress . So , at the first meeting of the week I spoke up to get other SN parents involved in our newly formed parent support group for the school . The second meeting , regarding the curriculum for the year , was done by grade level and because M has an IEP ( individualized education plan ) , some parts of the curriculum are a little different for him , but still . I was the only parent who spoke up concerned about the math portion . There are entire Facebook groups dedicated to how awful our math curriculum is here . Its time consuming , strays off topic and is harshly skewed toward children with certain motor skill and reading abilities . In addition to the old school word problems , which while not my forte ' are certainly relevant for applying what you know , the children are expected to write descriptions Be Fierce . # GetMad I 'm a worrier . A worrywart my grandmother called it . I worry about what others think even though I may claim not to . Goodness knows I try not to worry about who may be judging me , but sometimes it just sneaks up on me . A friend of mine posted a link to Facebook the other day from a blog post about different stereotypes of moms at schools . Firstly I was just a little bit horrified because I am sure that I have been several of the moms in the blog post on at least one occasion . Was it a joke post ? Maybe it was … I hope so ! There was the " hungry mom , pajamas mom , hippie mom , sports mom , PTO mom , perfect mom , and of course , the mom blogger " . Did this even leave anyone out ? I mean , we can 't all be June Cleaver and if we were … wouldn 't that fall into PTO mom category ? Is that what other parents are thinking on the playground at morning drop off ? ( Are you thinking that at drop off ? ) I will admit we all have different styles . There is one mom , that I see nearly every day and I don 't even know her name , but I call her " jogger mom " , because she does her daily run to the elementary school in the afternoons to pick up her child . There is " svelte black - suit mom " that I 'm guessing works in a corporate setting somewhere downtown because she looks very sleek and urban every day . There are the SAHMs like me , who while having different styles , definitely dress more casually than the workplace moms at the school . If we 're going to put labels on everyone , good grief , what about the exceptions ! Yes , I have dropped my children off at school still in my pajama pants . I was also wearing a full - length heavy parka and snow boots at the time . Its happened maybe twice in 3 years . Do I get a pass for that one ? With a special needs child as well , some mornings … are just hard . Most mornings are just fine and really we have a pretty good little routine down and let me tell you a happy ASD child is one with a good routine . Sometimes though - sometimes are hard ! I think all special needs families and those with multiple children would agree that you can encounter crazy events trying to get out the door on occasion . We woke one morning to find that my son had spread a very thin , even layer of sunscreen all over our living room rug . Another morning he was covered in strawberry syrup ( and so was the couch ) . If you have one very ill child and two very healthy children and you 're trying to get out the door its a whole new host of problems and then what about the " spider " . I 've written about this before - when one of the children I will admit that I have often wondered at the decisions of other moms that I see in passing because it doesn 't seem to be a decision that I would make , but that is also coming from my background and point of view and not theirs . I couldn 't possibly know what its like to be in their shoes . This is an important thing for me to keep at the front of my mind . I 'm just going to keep doing what I do . Now what I may do , may not be what you do , or they do or he or she does , but that doesn 't mean that I don 't wholly accept the decisions that others make . This is a really hard issue for me . Its my " damage " really , so by me writing about it and putting my vulnerabilities out there - I 'm really taking a step , but I have definitely done my share of value - searching today and I wanted to write about it . So , my point , after all that , was if you see in me in my fleecy frog pajama pants and crocs running full - tilt across the playground with two or three children in tow , please , just pretend I was wearing lovely matching outfit in crisp fall colors . Cross your fingers for me to not trip over a bump in the sidewalk in those crazy shoes because I was probably having one of those days already . This was what my husband said to me after tiring of hearing about all of our church drama . I just stopped mid - sentence . Um , yeah , but its a church , not a doughnut . I do really really love gourmet doughnuts . You may recall my post here where I just " lost it " while waiting in line at Bennison 's , a local bakery here . Quick recap : I have 3 children plus DH and myself , I spend a minimum of $ 18 walking into a bakery and usually its more if we get loaves of bread or rolls , etc . Its hard for me to get there to begin with , what with all the wiggly ASDness and whatnot , and its usually a " treat " for my children . I don 't expect special treatment , but I do expect to get my " turn " in line after I 've been waiting there for ages . In any case , I know what he meant . " Leave the drama alone " . Per our difficulty with our special needs child at church and other religious education goals not lining up , we have officially left our church and the notification e - mails have been sent and phone calls made . Here was my original post about that . I am more upset than I thought I would be , but I do think it was the right decision in the long term . I am most sorry that I have lost a couple of new , but good friends from the congregation due to just … . drama I guess . I 'm not even sure what happened . Here are the reasons we left the church : Our children are getting older and moving into the " big kid " classes . It is important to us to have a more structured environment for their religious education . At this time the staff , model and structure for caring for our ASD child does not meet our needs . Recent Comments Kayla on I . Just . Want . A . Sandwic … Kayla on What kind of mom are you ? " You know you … on Closing one door , opening … " You know you … on Pow ! Debbie on Careful casting that first … Search
|
Last night Travis , William , Kellan , Jennifer and I watched the extended edition of The Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring . I can 't count the number of times I 've watched it , but it was a first for the little boys . They 'd seen part of it but not all of it . I generally glean something new from it each time I watch it , but last night it raised the following question for me . We don 't really know the back - story on the friendship of Sam , Merry , Pippin and Frodo ( at least from the film . It 's been so long since my last read of the books that I don 't remember if it is delved into more deeply there ) . Regardless of back - story , it is evident that Frodo has engendered a special kind of loyalty from his friends - - even the two party - dudes , Merry and Pippin . At the end of the film when Merry and Pippin see Frodo and then cause a distraction to aid in his escape to the river , they are risking their lives to help their friend . And then of course there 's Sam , the most faithful and true friend someone could have , he doesn 't just risk his life , he goes on to what is almost guaranteed certain doom to aid his friend in his quest . So I come back to the question " What kind of friend am I ? " Am I the kind of friend that engenders the kinds of sacrificial loyalty in his friends ? Am I the kind of friend who would be as sacrificial as Merry , Pippin or Sam ? If I 'm not , what do I need to do to become that type of friend ? One of the most difficult things about XBox Live is finding people you actually like to game with regularly . Shortly after I got my 360 I was perusing the forums on xbox . com when I came upon this thread about 30yo + gamers . As I read through it I came upon this post . . . Hi guys , Several games have made our primary Friday night rotation . After GRAW it was Gears of War , and then Call of Duty 4 . With occasional diversions in Halo 3 or Team Fortress 2 . We started off at the Corn Maze on Sauvie Island . I 've never done it before and it was a lot of fun , even though we got quite lost for a bit on the second half of it . It was a beautiful night for getting lost in a maze , and we had lots of fun as we wandered through and around and around and around . Thank you both so much for your kind and generous hospitality and for putting up with me . Your friendship means so very much to me . Thank you very very much . Nine of us took off for our semi - annual ride on Friday . We headed north , all the way to the Great White North . It was a fun , and sometimes frustrating trip . By the time my bike made it back to my garage I had done 1100 . 2 miles over the four days . These rides take place twice a year , May and September . I have missed the last three and it has been far too long since I 've ridden with my friends . I was incredibly pumped about the opportunity to do this again . Henry , Wade , Chad , Dave , Paul , John , and I meet in the Rentrak parking lot at 11 : 30 , for a noon departure . I was excited to try out some new technology on my bike . My friend John brought me a Cramp Buster for the throttle . We slid it on and got it adjusted " just right . " While I was playing with Cramp Buster the other guys are looking for Joe . Joe is a wonderfully nice guy , however , he 's often late ! Wade got a call from him and told him we would meet him in Castle Rock at the Hwy 411 exit . Then we saddled up and headed north on I - 205 and then I - 5 to Castle Rock , Washington . At Castle Rock we stopped for gas , some food and to look for Joe . We successfully found gas and food , but not Joe . A few phone calls later we discovered he was a bit north of us , so we set up a new meet in Napavine where we would return to I - 5 after our Hwy 411 excursion . Once again we headed north , this time on a far more interesting road than I - 5 . It was a good warmup for some of the roads we would travel over the next few days . What seemed like just a few minutes later , we were in Napavine , and stopped again to look for Joe . Still no luck . We told him we 'd meet him in Olympia at the US 101 turnoff . We jumped on I - 5 again and headed north for Olympia . When we reached the 101 turnoff we took it and stopped at the Arco station on the corner . I pulled up behind a car with no driver , so I figured the driver was inside paying for his gas . I sat and waited , and waited and waited the passenger in the car was fidgeting , I was fidgeting and getting impatient . Finally an older gentleman came shuffling out of the AM / PM and headed for the car . " Finally , " I thought , and then he started pumping gas . All around me bikes and cars were moving to pumps and getting the fuel they needed . I was still sitting behind and old guy and his wife . Eventually he 'd filled his tank . I expected him to get in and pull away , but no , he shuffled back into the AM / PM . Shoulders slumping heavily now , I had visions of dieing before I ever reached the pump . Eventually he did return and got in his vehicle and left . I pulled forward , and climbed off my bike to investigate the pay terminal . Unlike most stations that have card readers in their pumps There was one pay terminal per pump island . It talked about an ATM fee for retrieving money , since I was buying gas I ignored it and gave it my card . Up popped a message , " This transaction will cost you 45 cents . " I muttered and expletive and then decided I 'd waited too long to give up and find another gas station , so I bit the bullet and agreed to the charge . Saddling up we headed for 101 . Traffic was a bit heavy , the exit is a bit tricky , and as Chad found out , when you 're earphones get messed up inside your helmet and your trying to figure that out , and ride , something 's going to happen ! He missed the exit . None of the rest of us , but Wade , realized he wasn 't there and we continued merrily on our way up 101 until I only had three bikes in my mirrors when I was quite sure there should be seven . The four of us pulled over , and shortly two more showed up . That left Wade and Chad missing . We waited and waited , and started to worry a bit , and waited and finally their headlights showed up heading north on 101 . When they stopped we heard Chad 's story about the earphones and the helmet and the missed exit . Apparently if you miss the 101 turn off it takes quite a while to get turned around again . Mostly I 'm glad that was all the problem was . 101 North along the Puget Sound is a gorgeous trip up along Hood Canal , Dabob and Quilcene Bays . We took a turn - off for Port Townsend and had a beautiful ride into a lovely post card of and Olympic Peninsula Port . We rode right up to the 6 : 00pm Ferry to Whidbey Island , and rolled off on our way up Hwy 20 to Deception Pass camp ground , where we met up with Dale , pitched our tents , and went to dinner . The last time we 'd been at that campground , there was a wonderful restaurant , Island Grill , just up the road toward Anacortes . It was closed up tight , which was a bummer , so we headed the opposite direction and found a Mitzel 's American Kitchen . The food was sorta kinda adequate , but nothing to write home about . We had a horribly early start . We needed to be at the Ferry terminal in Anacortes by 7 : 45am . We saddled up and headed out of North on Washington 20 from Deception Pass Campground . The ride into Anacortes was only about 20 miles and we all stopped at Safeway to buy some food for breakfast and some much needed Starbucks . There was quite a line at the Ferry , but one of the advantages of being on a motorcycle is that they let you load first . So we made like a bunch of queue jumpers and headed to the front of the line . The Ferry trip out of Anacortes was gorgeous . It was just about two hours from leaving Anacortes to docking at Sidney By The Sea , BC . From Sidney we headed south on 17 to the north end of Victoria and then North on Canada 1 . Just north of Victoria we stopped at a gorgeous viewpoint looking down on the Mill Bay . Paul to the opportunity to answer the call of nature on the edge of a very very steep drop off . I 'm sure all the telescopes and binoculars below us on the bay were trained in his direction . The weather started closing in a bit as we headed North . When we got to Ladysmith we got sprinkled on and some of the guys stopped to put on their rain gear . Continuing North we stopped for lunch at Tim Horton 's in Nanaimo . It was a reasonably good meal , and if there were nothing else around I 'd probably visit again . In Nanaimo we talked to some of the locals and they suggested that we take 19 out of Nanaimo and miss a lot of the traffic and stoplights that we would face if we stayed on 1 , so we bypassed moth of Nanaimo on 19 . We headed north on 19 until we hit 4 and turned west on 4 toward Port Alberni . We stopped in Port Alberni for a butt rest , liquor , beer and cigars . Then continued west on 4 toward Tofino . Up in the mountains West of Port Alberni , the road turns to dirt and gravel for a total of about 17 kilometers . I 'm not a huge fan of dirt or gravel , but the V - Strom handled it beautifully . Even when the road wasn 't dirt , the farther west we went the more beatup it got . The country was gorgeous , mountains and streams and lakes , a couple of the guys even saw a bear cub . At the end of 4 , the road Ts . Left takes you to Ucluelet , and right takes you north through the Pacific Rim National Park , and eventually Tofino . When we got to Tofino , Joe was in the lead and took a left turn into a development there , then turned left into someone 's driveway , honking madly and waving . The rest of us rolled in behind him , and he introduced us to his friend Denise , and then told us we were staying there that night . My heart sunk . I really really don 't like imposing on people , much less imposing on someone I 've never even met . But we were told there wasn 't a camping space available in Tofino that weekend , so Joe made these arrangements with Denise . We set up our tents in the back yard , and wandered the 100 yards to the beach and the Pacific Ocean . Some of the guys drove into town , to buy some food . A freshly caught halibut was being grilled , salad was made , folk started eating and drinking . I ate a bit , but then bummed a shower from our hosts . After the shower I noticed that a deep fryer had been added to the mix and one of our hosts was deep frying fresh halibut . It was the most amazing fish I think I have ever had . I ate far too much , but enjoyed every moment ! I headed for my tent about 9 : 30 and felt the first rain drops . I didn 't think too much about it and hunkered down in my sleeping bag . Wade came knocking and said , do you know your towels still on top of your tent ? I had forgotten all about it . He was kind enough to put it someplace dry . Fortunately that mades something click in my head and I realized my riding boots were still outside . I got up and grabbed my boots and stowed them safely away . It bucketed most of the night . It hadn 't been a good night . I didn 't sleep well , and kept waking to check for water in the tent . My wonderful little two - man tent ( Eureka Apex II ) that fits very nicely in one of my Givi Keyless hard bags , had served very well . I hadn 't staked out the rainfly or opened the vents or anything , and I only had one tiny puddle of water inside . Groggily dressing and getting out of my tent into the grey morning , I felt the first twinges of a migraine and sighed . I 've been getting migraine headaches since I was very very young . Fortunately I outgrew the vomiting , but the headaches are just a nightmare , and when they get very bad , I end up having to go to a dark and quiet room where I whimper and scream until I fall asleep . I 've gotten some meds , they work some times , but not usually , and I 've never found a " regular " over - the - counter med that works . I usually get warning that they 're coming and usually take preventative measures to be somewhere safe and sound when they get really bad . But how do you do that when you 're with a eight other guys who all have to be at a ferry dock 200 + miles away in seven hours ? I hate packing wet gear , but we didn 't have much choice , so the wet tent and tarp all got packed away . When I got to my bike I found that I 'd left my warm weather gloves out , and they were now soaked . and my helmet had tipped slightly in the night and the cheek pads were a bit wet . That was ick ! So on top of this onrushing headache I now had to face a damp helmet . This day was not starting well . Because we had a deadline - - the Port Angeles ferry was leaving Victoria at 3 : 00pm - - we decided we were going to do the first bit in one great rush , no stops until we hit Port Alberni where we would stop for gas and breakfast . I gritted my teeth , climbed on my bike and headed off with the rest of the group . By the time we reached the turnoff onto 4 , I was completely miserable , and I knew that the road only got worse . Eventually I hit the gravel and hot needles started jabbing into my eye over every bump . There were several times when I thought just how easy it would be to ride my bike off the road into Kennedy Lake as we rode past . I thought we 'd never reach Port Alberni , I was trying not to puke , but desperately needed some coffee . We stopped for gas and then headed to Tim Hortons . No one else knew what a mess I was until I staggered into the restaurant and sat down . I made it through my coffee and part of my cinamon roll when Henry said he had some meds that would help . I asked him what and he said 800mg of ibuprofen I took one , but didn 't believe it would help . Then we saddled up and my buddy John hung back with me to make sure I stayed safe . Within an hour I was feeling much better and by the time we reached Ladysmith I was actually hungry . I took another 400mg of ibuprofen and had a bit to eat . Then we headed off for Victoria . We were thrilled . The ferry left at 3 : 00pm and we were going to be in Victoria by 1 : 00pm so we would have time for a nice liesurely lunch somewhere . Parking our bikes down on the Ferry dock we went and bought our tickets and were told , " please be at your bikes at 1 : 30 . " We were stunned . There went our liesurely lunch . We dashed across the street to the hotel , ordered our lunches to go in the bar , and took styrofoam boxes back to the dock and ate on the back seats of our bikes . It was a beautiful ride along the south shore of Lake Crescent . The speed limit was too slow , and the road a bit slick but it was simply gorgeous . When we got to the Sol Duck Campground we spent some time talking about the cost of camping there and the cost of access to the hot springs and the cost of a meal in the lodge , and decided that our money might be better spent in the free Forest Service campground about 14 miles up the road in Bear Creek . We made a couple of turns around the campground and picked a nice spot and pitched our tents . Then walked up the road to the little road - side cafe . Walking in it didn 't look like much , but we have had very good experiences in places that didn 't look all that great . We found our seats , and checked out the menu and ordered . My prime rib was not the best I 've ever had , but it was still very very good . I think that the rest of the guys also fully enjoyed their meals . Then the pie and ice cream was ordered and I think everyone who had it really enjoyed that . At 12 : 30 my cellphone rang , I was too groggy to get to it before it stopped ringing but I listened to the message that was left . Apparently something was wrong with the GroupWise server at work . Jason said he 'd call Barbara since he couldn 't get me . At about 1 : 20 my phone rang again . Once again , fumbling in the dark I couldn 't get to it in time . This time it was Barbara saying she hadn 't found anyone to help with the GroupWise problem . I sighed , and started sending emails to Jason and Barbara letting them know I 'd do what I could . Then I got dressed and found my way to Chad 's tent and woke him up . Poor Chad was up for four hours working on the problem . We woke up bright ( well everyone but Chad who 'd been up a good chunk of the night ) and early , saddled up and headed toward Forks where we found a lovely little restaurant for breakfast . After a very good breakfast we headed south on 101 to the Hoh Mainline where we headed off across the Olympic National Forest . This was a fantastic little road , and the beautiful weather just made it even better . Eventually we hit 101 again and headed south some more until we got to the Moclips - Olympic Hwy . This was an even better road than the first was was stunningly beautiful ride . Once again we found ourselves on 101 and we continued our trek south . When we got to Hoquiam / Aberdeen , we stopped for gas , restroom and a snack . Chad and Dale peeled off here . Dale to head to his home near Seattle and Chad to get home quickly to deal with the problem GroupWise server . South of Aberdeen the south - bound traffic improved dramatically and the ride became a bit more interesting than it had been while dealing with RVs headed home after the long weekend . Eventually we found ourselves in Astoria , where we got gas and then headed into Warrenton to Doogers for a wonderful lunch . Unknown to us , Doogers has hired every beautiful girl on the North Coast of Oregon , and not only was lunch good , we had some incredible scenery of a different kind . After lunch we said goodbye to Chris who was going to continue south to his family 's home farther down the Oregon Coast . The last of us saddled up and got on Oregon 202 and started heading toward Portland . Our greatest goal was to avoid Hwy 26 east - bound on a holiday . At the turnoff to Vernonia we waved goodbye to Wade . Our route was tortuous but , but loads of fun ( except for those 15mph turns which I still don 't handle with any ease ) . Watching the World Trade Center towers crumble was also watching our dream crumble . We were raising $ 1 . 5 million . We had a $ 1 million pledged . we had another firm with a terms sheet that was apparently willing to put up the other $ 500 , 000 . However , one week after the bombings , that other company called us and told us that in the post 9 - 11 - 2001 environment there was no way they could provide us with the money we were after . We were crushed . We wanted to still make a go of it , so on October 1 , we laid off my friend and partner of seven years , John ; my friend and partner of two years , Scott ; my friend of three years , Brian ; and two wonderful employees , Doug and Kyle . We were now looking for $ 400 , 000 to last us six to nine months . We couldn 't even come up with that . So on November 1 , 2001 we all said goodbye to the dream . We got the lab at a local highschool working quite well . Late in the day we brought in some people to put a load on the system . Things worked better than expected and we were all pretty pleased . Then , unfortunately , the server crashed . We 're working on diagnosing the problem as I sit here typing this , but we 're pretty sure we had some sort of motherboard failure . We rebooted successfully and started evertything working again , and were quite pleased , but the hardware failure cast a pall on everything we had accomplished . Chris and I were still very pleased , but my friend John was very unhappy , and he let us know about it when we got to work . Usually when John and I " discuss things loudly " I 'm the one who is in the wrong . However , this time John was wrong , and nothing Chris and I could do would convince him that his viewpoint was wrong . We 're installing a new test site tomorrow . There are thirty machines for us to connect with our tools . We needed to build a new server for these folk . They have some unique space requirements ( they need about 72Gb of storage ) . This calls for RAID . We didn 't get the parts for the server until yesterday , and we were unable to get some of the drives to work . We ordered a couple of more drives UPS Red and had them here this morning . We again attempted to get the server running and still had trouble . It appeared that the SCSI support on the mobo was bad . So , we replaced it . Then we discovered that the new board wouldn 't support the 600Mhz processors we were putting in . Fortunately we were able to flash the BIOS . Then we discovered that one of the new drives that we were sent was bad . Fortunately we had a drive we could use as a spare and it worked . So , after three hours of thinking life pretty much sucked , all of a sudden it didn 't . We also needed to provide support for a specific network card which we had thought we had support for . I couldn 't get the card to work . I tried various and sundry drivers in the vain hope that one would work . . . no luck . I was finally able to glean enough information about the NIC , and presto it worked perfectly . So , after three hours of thinking life pretty much sucked , all of a sudden it didn 't . We use a proprietary tool that requires a specialized license file . We were sent a license for this project over a week ago , but we couldn 't get it to work . I called the company last week and they told me they would get back to me yesterday , they didn 't . They did , however , call today , and we were able to get the licensing issues straightened out and everything works great . So , after a few days of thinking life pretty much sucked , all of a sudden it didn 't . I have a friend who has Cystic Fibrosis . He has lived far longer than the doctors original thought he would . He 's married , has a couple of kids and is starting to get pretty sick . He 's being evaluated for some lung lobe transplant surgery . My wife just called a few minutes ago to tell me that he is in the hospital with a bad infection . The doctors don 't seem to be too worried , but for some reason I am . So , if you are the praying type , please pray for my friend Larry . When I first met Billy I knew him as Dameteries . I met him playing a game called Ultima Online . We spent quite a bit of time hanging out together in the virtual world of Britannia . It wasn 't long before I discovered that he lived here in Portland , and that he was pumping gas at a local service station . After a couple of months of business , we realized that we needed some help in our shop . I knew that Dameteries would love to quit pumping gas and that he was fairly technologically savvy , so I had him in for an interview . We hired him immediately and he became an integral and important part of our team . As the big deal we were involved in progressed , we hired more people . Many of whom we became very close to . When we finally realized that the people who we were dealing with were not going to be able to accomplish what they set out to do , we were significantly overstaffed . We let several people go , but then , last November , it became apparent that Billy was going to have to go too . It broke my heart to have to lay him off . In order to dedicate the necessary development resources to our new products we have had to add an employee . We called Billy back , he gave two weeks notice to his employer . His first day after a year - long layoff was today .
|
In a time - long long ago , I was a Boy Scout , for a while and like all good scouts dib - dib - dib we were supposed to be able to tie good knots in rope . I think I even got a badge - but it has been a while . Now I am a prospective full time boater , I suppose I should learn again how to tie some of the basic knots . The 42nd Scout Group in East Sussex must have heard about people like me and actually did something about it . They have created some simple animations that show how to tie knots . In an attempt to stop their pages being ripped off by others . There is a notice that says " Do not copy these animated knots pages and text and publish them on the Internet or elsewhere . If you want to put animated knots on your website then please draw your own . " British Waterways are organising groups to spend some time at the beginning of March cleaning up the bridge , canal and towpaths on our waterways system . This started me thinking about what we could do to help . I have done a bit of conservation work in the past . Clearing ditches , repairing fences and improving habitat through scrub clearing etc . This is much the same sort of thing that I have done in the past for the RSPB . This year Towpath Tidy 2010 coincides with our holidays so we will not get a chance to do our bit . Find details here . I have just been on a " green and mean " sortie on the Internet . I thought , if we are going to cruise and park for a few days at a time , we need to look at additional forms of power other than marina power points . Should I go for a solar cell or wind generator system for power back - up on the boat ? Once more there is so much crap in depth on the interwebbie thingy . So much so that it is a real pain in the rear , just to wade through all the dross . It used to be a rule of thumb that the exchange rate was $ 2 = £ 1 now it seems that it 's the other way round . So . . . . . what will be a good live - aboard power budget to aim for 100 - 200 watts and what system would suit my needs ? Then I found this - a new Invention - A Battery Powered by Urine Scientists in Singapore have invented a battery powered by urine . " We are striving to develop cheap electricity upon contact with biofluids such as urine " says Ki Bang Lee , PhD , MS , in a news release . Lee is a principal research scientist at the Institute of Bioengineering where the battery was developed . The battery is described in the Journal of Micromechanics and Microengineering . The battery sandwiches copper , paper laced with copper chloride , and magnesium between two plastic layers . The " sandwich " is later laminated . " When human urine is added into the battery . . . the urine soaks through the paper between the magnesium and copper layers . The chemicals dissolve and react to produce the electricity . In tests , the battery cell produced a maximum of 1 . 47 volts , dropping a bit with time but keeping a constant voltage of 1 . 04 volts . " Do you remember that old Anthony Newley musical " Stop the World I want to get off " well there are times that I wish I could . Nicole Mamo , aged 48 , tried to place a help - wanted advert in a Thetford , Jobcentre . Being the owner of an employment agency ( Devonwood Recruitment Agency ) , Ms Mamo wrote that any applicants for the £ 5 . 80 an hour position of cleaner " must be very reliable and hard - working . " But the Thetford Jobcentre refused to take her ad . The reason given she said was " Because the Jobcentre could have cases brought against them for discriminating against unreliable people . " The following day Nicole phoned Thetford Jobcentre Plus and was told The ' offensive ' advert will remain on their website . Mamo told the Jobcentre . " We supply the National Health Service with staff , so it 's very important for the patients that we have reliable workers and really , using your advice , isn 't the term " worker " discriminatory against the lazy , too ? Source : The London Telegraph . A spokeswoman for the Campaign Against Political Correctness described the decision not to display Nicole 's advert as ' ridiculous ' . She said : ' This situation is absolutely ridiculous - of course people want reliable workers and of course employers should be able to ask for them . ' If they can 't advertise for what they actually want then the system is broken . They won 't be able to find workers who meet their criteria . In order to have decided that the word " reliable " can 't be used they must have put a great deal of thought and time into it . That time could be better spent getting the right people to apply for the right jobs - which is what this advert was trying to do in the first place . ' There is an old saying " Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool . " Today - I felt for a fleeting moment that my talents had breached their bounds . Why , because I considered not trying to get my employers to push me gently towards the door with my pockets stuffed with promissory notes . I gave thought to waiting a few years more until my real retirement day came around . I think it was the coffee that jolted me back to my senses . Last night , I caught the Mem - sahib looking at boats for sale on the RugbyBoats website . There 's nothing new in her perusing the boats available on the web . However , for the first time , she did not pass comment on the boats lack of colour co - ordinated curtains . She chirped on about cabin layouts , fit - out finishes , calorifiers and stoves . It must be getting serious . So what about the colour scheme and how important is that going to be to our choice . I must admit this is not something that I had spent much time pondering on . How about a copy of the best looking car ever to stand on the F1 grid - Colin Chapman 's Lotus JPS - Now there is what I would call a colour scheme . . . . mmmm ! A deep black with gold stripes and text . . . . . . mmmmm ! I am feeling a bit better today after the bitter disapointment of yesterday . So I am back to my normal cheery self and the matter in hand . Most of my narrow boating experience has been gained from the occasional use of holiday hire boats . Most of it enjoyed over a period of twenty years or so . Our first experience being on the wonderful " Shroppie " which I have been back to a few times . Later spending a few family holidays on the Norfolk Broads just by way of a change . As boating went , I found the whole experience very enjoyable . However , I was never in a position to devote the time as well as the family budget towards owning a boat . I suppose like many born - again - boaters , I did flirt with ideas around ownership . However , when it came to the real nitty - grity , I just could not make the final decision . Now the chance of retirement has come around . We are about to become reborn so to speak . Our first faltering steps towards ownership was to get myself up - to - date with current ownership rules and regulations . Allied with this was a need to know of current technology . As much as to see for myself what was available in the narrow boat market . I started with buying boating magazines and searching on - line . This first of all enabled me to see how new and second hand prices compared . As well as to look at what features were being included in the more modern boats that might be needed by way of an upgrade to any second - hand purchase . . Suddenly I realised that what I needed was a itemised narrow boat check - list . I am good at lists ! This was good because it made me think in a more structured way as well as guided my thoughts to what we would need . As I started compiling the check list , I soon realised that it was like Topsy . The check list grew and grew and grew . The more thought I put into the check list , the more I was forced into converting my superficial broad brush strokes approach . It was only then that I realised I was actually drawing up a list of preferences and creating a specification . So a second hand boat can be specified just like a new one . Albeit , a second - hand purchase might need converting . Or more likely , for allowances to be made to finding a boat that was a - best - fit ! So , I split the list into ouside and inside . Then split it again into include documentation and engine . Then split it again to include outside - fore , aft and middle . Then inside - cabin , galley , berth and saloon . Here I am with a six page document which , I am sure will grow even more . See , I told you I was good at lists ! As boats go - I am not a purist . I don 't need to feed an ego based on the traditional styles and methods of operation . However , I do understand why people do that . For my sins I still have a 45 year old 250cc motorcycle that I purchased as my first ever new motorcycle . But I choose to ride a modern 1300cc bike on a day - to - day basis . However , what I do want to feel is all the creature comforts on board . Comforts that new designs , materials and technological changes can offer . Efficiency is the new watchword . Whenever efficiency is measured it is often quantified as a cost saving . However , If your of the green persuasion it can be measured in angst by ones carbon footprint . So what am I looking for ? It is the use of more efficient insulation materials for instance , which will go some way to energy saving . Not only this , but more modern and harder wearing materials , for a better replacement life cycle . Better use of renewable energy , be it wood , solar or wind . Does any boat builder produce one of those EU Energy label that indicate the efficiency of white goods - but for the efficiency and comfort of a narrow boat . And if not - how soon will EU micro regulation require this ? The EU Energy Label is a compulsory notice that is applied to all white goods and home appliances sold within the EU . It allows consumers to clearly see the efficiency and energy consumption of a product . Someone once said - " If you have to ask , you 'll never know " . Now where did I put that list . . . . . Looking out of the window - its a " cold and overcast " day . Bit like me at the moment . I had feedback yesterday about my application to retire early . You have possibly guessed already , the answer was in the negative . This is a bit curious as there are two of us , that are essentially doing just one persons work . A few years ago our two teams were merged together forming something that resembles the oxymoron " marital bliss " . This understandably creates a bit of confusion within the wider team that we both manage . I want to go and sail off into the blood red sunset ( occasionally seen between showers of rain ) over the canals . Whilst at the same time my " oppo " wants to stay on . I have always been somewhat lucky in life he says as he sit here at the computer quietly humming to himself , " Regrets , I have had a few , but there again too few to mention . " It seems that whenever something has gone wrong or not worked out . It has always turned out to be for the best . So , I have come to expect that the same will happen again and again . There is some hope all is not lost . This is because we are in the middle of the latest bi - annual ( four in the last 8 years ) business re - organisations . I expect that I will have been ear marked as usual for nothing in particular . So I shall studiously make myself a very disposable member of staff . Roll on the summer , which is a time when the dust finally settles on reorganisation and the chance to leave early will come around again . Today , we are off to look at a boat near Doncaster . However , because everything is on the back - burner I am having a great deal of difficulty containing my indifference . We had both expressed a wish to view the boat before the good news messenger arrived . So as a salve to one of life 's little disappointments , we will make the trip anyway . I shall buy SWMBO lunch and Poppy will get a chance to walk the towpath . I have the instant antidote to the doldrums , " Narrow Dog to Carcassonne " by Terry Darlington is on my bedside table . I read out aloud the first few pages . Mag 's was soon chuckling as " Brynula Great Expectations or as was suggested Boney Maroney " thereafter to be known as " Jim " was named . Maybe it 's time to read it again . Later . . . . . The boat was actually in excellent condition . The owner fit - out was done using re - cycled solid oak timber , that had been reclaimed from a school gymnasium floor . It also had solid mahogany doors throughout . We would make some changes to the decoration . But the boat would be more than good enough for the first voyage over the summer . The impending ownership of a narrow boat has certainly entered my blood . So much so , that I have been and registered a couple of domain names . The first domain is narrow - boat . com This will give me some scope to develop a whole new website once the early retirement option comes around later this year . I have not given to much thought to the content and direction it will take . My academic background relates to " Networked Information Engineering " so developing the website will give me more of a challenge than the underlying server hardware . The other domain is wits - end . org . uk which is currently directly pointed at this blog . This relates to the name we have chosen for our narrow boat . ( which just happens to be the same as our home ! ) I expect I will move this blog onto a server of my own - at some point in the not to distant future . Maintaining input to the blog is a bit low on my radar just now , because I have little free time to spare at the moment . Just a little bit further down this years calendar is a short holiday coming up at the end of this month . When we will be out and about on a hire boat . Cruising somewhere on the Oxford canal will be our venue for a few days . We have a couple of friends who are coming over to house sit the cat 's for a week . Whilst at the same time they will try living at château Wits - End as they are possibly going to come and live here whilst we are away for a year or two . Other friends are forming a disorderly queue offering to house sit the boat whenever we take a break and go abroad . Well I guess that 's what real friends are for . In the juniors each class was sub - divided and we were assigned a " house " . The choice was either Alma , Rockingham , Boston or Scott - ARBS - the initials of Alma Road Boys School . I was assigned to Rockingham House , this turned out to be quite prophetic later in life . We strived to do good work in class and to try and beat the other houses by amassing a bigger tally of quarter , half and full gold stars . Rockingham never won the shield in my time at Alma road and so I never enjoyed the prize for winning - whatever that was . After a year or so , I progressed into the class of my nemesis Lindley a real brute of a man . He proved to live up to his reputation and was somewhat free with the cane ( which was named Doctor Malacca and kept in a cupboard by his desk ) and the size ten slipper . He was universally feared and at the same time loathed by everyone in his class . I diligently avoided any eye contact and was always careful to never stand out or to be tardy . Watching in muted fear as he caned my class mates for sneezing or other similar pretexts . Nevertheless , I was for a short period the main focus of his ire . It was a very uncomfortable position to be in . So much so , that for the first time I started to skip off school . On the second or third day I was spotted by my uncle . He coaxed out of me what the problems were . He got me to promise to return back to school the next day . When I did Mr Lindley seemed almost indifferent to me from that day on and for the rest of my school life at Alma Road . In hindsight , I progressed through the school with little or no attention from him ever again . My mother and father never knew of this little hiccup in my school life . Had they known that I had bunked off school I would have been in serious trouble . It was some thirty years or so later before I found out that my uncle had made it his business to meet up with Mr Lindley . He had left the teacher with no doubt or uncertainty in his mind about the consequences of what was to happen if I was ever subjected to his attentions in the future . The typical slinking reaction of a bully when confronted by someone bigger and stronger ! Some years later he was confronted by one of my classmates who by this time was himself a man . I don 't know the detail of what happened . Only that it ended up in the courts . By the time I knew it had been and gone from court . Otherwise I would have quite happily stood as a character witness for bully Lindley ! I still loath and detest the man . Towards the end of my time in the ARBS juniors I progressed into Mr Parkin 's class . He was quite a formidable character who could shout for England whenever the mood took him . He had deadly aim with the chalk and was not averse to launching the board rubber . However , I soon learned to like and respect him . He had a style of teaching that I could identify with . Subjects were broken up with little anecdotal quotes . Some of which I still clearly remember over fifty years later . The corridor between the class rooms had a long row of fish tanks . There were the usual freshwater fish and a few exotic ones like Japanese fighting fish . I never did see the fish fight even though I watched them at every opportunity . The headmasters office was just along this corridor , the usual school ruffians were to be seen skulking at his door awaiting some sort of summary justice . On the odd occasion , I was sent out of class to the headmasters office . I was there to collect the " punishment book " . In the book were recorded the names of the kids and a description of the punishment they had received . Not all canings were put in the punishment book , only the ones where the kids had been more disruptive or daring than usual in their opposition to the austere classroom environment . It should be remembered that leisure activities for kids were quite sparse at the time . There was a youth club run within the school by my old nemesis Lindley and so there was no way I or any other child would voluntarily go there . There were the scouts meetings held in the same hall we had our school dinners in . However , my main activity was an almost daily visit to the " new " swimming baths on Westgate Green after school . The " old " swimming baths on Main Street were only visited during the winter months when the new baths were closed . I learned to swim and then to dive in from the board 's , at the new baths . However I was only brave enough to jump in from the " top block " as it seemed to be too much of a life threatening plunge if done head first . Other activities included helping to pull the heavy roller round the pitch at St Peters cricket club or playing in the remains of the old Wheathill Street Foundry . On occasions I would have a free ride on a barge going up the Don towards Sheffield ( but you had to help heave the locks open and closed ) On some days if you were lucky you could even get a ride on a barge going back down river to Goole to save the long walk back home . Later I was to become a Liverpool fan in the days of football legend Bill Shankly . Then , until the present day a Manchester United fan . My early interest in football was at Rotherham United 's Millmoor Ground . It was another opportunistic pass time for me . I had discovered a way to get into the ground for free . I did this by going along the canal bank and up onto the old railway line that once upon a time went into the old Westgate station . It was possible ( but only if you were small ) at one secret point to wriggle into the ground through the fence . The main source of family entertainment at that time was the old wartime radio . The radio had a long piece of wire out of the back that ran across the yard to a bamboo pole fastened to the outhouse . I sometimes used to sit and twiddle with the knobs . Watching the cursor pass names like Hilversum and BOur family were now the proud owners of a Bush television set . I can see it now in my minds eye , a brown Bakelite box with a greenish glow to the tiny screen . I only remember taking a child 's interest in the programs available , especially Muffin the Mule , Whirligig , Andy Pandy and the Flowerpot men . There were other regular features like the man who produced pots on the potter 's wheel . Angel fish , swimming round in a large , dark tank and a windmill that just went round and round . But the radio was still the main focus of entertainment for me . The radio was duly moved to the front room so that it would not disturb anyone watching TV in the kitchen . Before I could move up into South Grove School or the Grammar school , our family were re - housed and we moved out of the old Alma Road and South Grove school catchment area . Unusual for the time ( and in particular for the area where I had previously lived ) I had somehow by way of a miracle passed my eleven plus examination . Most of the kids I went to school with eventually went to work either down the pit , in the steel works or on the railway . Though one or two did go into the forces as an alternative . I didn 't know it at the time , but a whole different life was mapped out for me , ultimately leading to a life in academia . But that 's a whole new story and came about much later in life . When we moved , my old out of school and leisure activities were transformed . The new locality we moved to was very rural , with open fields and woods close by . I soon learned my way round the Wentworth Estates much to the chagrin of Colonel Nutter and his gang of game keepers . At weekends , in the summer holidays or on summer evenings after school I was out exploring in the countryside . I spent many free hours in pursuit of my interest in all kinds of wildlife . In those far off days it was not unusual for kids to go out and collected bird 's eggs , However , I only wanted to know where the birds nest 's were located . Even in those days , the whereabouts of a birds nest was a secret never to be divulged to anyone who collected eggs . It gave me great pleasure to watch from time to time as the chicks progressed to eventually fledge and leave the nest . I soon realised that I needed to have a pair of binoculars . I saved hard and bought myself a pair of second - hand Lieberman and Gortz 10 X 50 binoculars . My new interest in wildlife blossomed into my main interest . In those days I was always anti - hunting and if I saw anyone with an air rifle . I would watch them from a distance to see where they hid their gun . Most parents would not let their kids have guns and so I would wander over in the evening and confiscate the gun . I obtained four or five guns this way . I did not think I was stealing , I thought I was doing my bit for anti - poaching and protecting my much loved wildlife . I can fondly remember ( although I did not know it then ) as a young man seeing my last free roaming Yorkshire Red Squirrel in the trees near Scholes village . The joy of seeing my first ( somewhat fearsome looking ) Little owl perched on a tree branch in almost the same spot but a few years later . I have fond memories of the many times I went fishing in the Wentworth lakes with just a few yards of fishing line tied to a makeshift fishing rod made from a willow branch . Exploring in the ruins of what was left of the buildings that used to be the Squirrel Castle I wasn 't aware of it then but many changes in the way the countryside is managed have destroyed much of the wildlife habitat I roamed around . Trees where I knew Tawny Owls nested every year have been felled . Trees which had small groups of bats living in holes have also been felled . Small pools and old streams have long since dried up . Hedgerows have either been removed or are mechanically trimmed far too short for wildlife to find food and shelter within . Skylarks that once were numerous are seldom seen on their old grounds . Lapwings have gone , much the same way . The secretive voles have disappeared from the banks of the long dried up streams . It 's not all doom and gloom for the wildlife habitat . There have been some significant improvements . Some of the pit waste tips have been sculpted and grassed over . My childhood playground was quite a wonderful experience in reality . Full of simple pleasures and yet one that would be lost on the internet children of today . This childhood kindled in me a life long interest in wildlife which is still a passion today . I am a keen bird watcher , a conservation volunteer and observer on wildlife . Today , I still live in the same area . Every morning from my home on a high vantage point I can look out from my dining room over the fields where I roamed . Now I can watch as the geese and ducks pass overhead . The flurry of golden plover flocks as another winter draws near . The occasional swoop of the sparrow hawk as it come in along the hedgerow and tries to catch birds off the bird table . Visits from the occasional Jay and the constant cooing of Pigeons and Collared Doves . I marvel now when I see house sparrows that once were so common . The sight of young Starlings in their wonderful etched plumage . Dunnocks that skulk at the bottom of the hedgerow with Wrens and Robins . Most of all , it 's the rare but welcome visit from Bullfinches to the bird table that can make my day . I was born almost at the confluence of the River Don and the River Rother . Born into ( in hindsight ) what was considered to be a small family of seven in those long off days . We lived in a two - up and two - down with an attic space and a cold dank cellar . Other bits included an outside toilet and wash house across the back yard . Other families who lived nearby often had ten or more children all crammed into their little two - up two - down houses that seemed to abounded in those days . However , there was one notable family of about sixteen children or maybe there were even more . At this distance in time , my memory might be flawed but the family was quite prodigious . Just like everyone else , they all lived in a two up , two down house a few hundred yards up the road . The eldest son Derek was a school chum and he seemed to have one dad and one or more different mums from time to time . The surfeit of mums always puzzled me , but as was normal in those days , kids never asked and Derek never broached the subject . I can 't help but wonder where everyone went at night in Derek 's home . Maybe they were all stacked on pallets ? My dad had converted the loft space into an attic bedroom in our house . It was into the attic that my brother and I were consigned to sleep . We slept in an ex - army bunk bed that was later replaced by a double bed mattress on the floor as our feet eventually outgrew the bunks . My two sisters had the front bedroom ( this was illuminated by the street light outside ) and mum and dad had the back bedroom . This arrangement was to help dad sleep free of traffic noise in the daytime when he was on night shift . The family dog had the run of the kitchen with a bed on the hearth . However , on very cold nights he would be invited into our bedroom to add a little localised heat in the form of a living hot water bottle for me and my brother to share . However , he would also share a fart with us which would see him banished to the bottom of the bed . In the winter we would put on more blankets and on very cold days we would even throw on a few coats . Cold days were normal during the winter months . However , very cold days were characterised by ice forming on the window panes , on the inside as well as the outside . As a miner , dad had regular deliveries of " ome coil " ( home coal ) which was delivered by a small tipper truck and tipped straight down the " coil oil " ( coal hole ) and was used to provide all the heating and cooking with a Yorkshire range . The old Yorkshire range and white enamel Ascot gas boiler was later ripped out and replaced by a tiled fireplace with a back boiler , for hot water and cooking was switched to a gas cooker . Bath nights depended on your physical size , when I was very young , I was dunked in a small galvanised tub . A few years later , I progressed to the " Tin Bath " which was to be found hanging on a peg in the old back garden air - raid shelter . On bath night , I was fourth in line after my brother and sisters . The bath towels and soap that we used came from the pit head baths and was always of good quality . I would always have the smell of Wrights Coal Tar Soap about me , and it is a soap I still use today . On bath night ( Friday ) the tin bath was carefully placed in front of the kitchen fire . When my sisters went in , the always full clotheshorse was used to protect their modesty . The one abiding memory was that after each child was dunked and scrubbed , a kettle or pan of hot water was added before the next one went in . We also had a wash house in the shared yard round the back of the house . However , it was used to store bikes and toys rather than be used for washing clothes . Mother had a service washing machine , complete with the latest electric mangle attachment . I can remember watching sheets and other such items being passed through to squeeze out the water . There was a small lever on the side which controlled the direction of travel . One day I managed to get my fingers caught in the rollers and my arm was " mangled " almost up to the elbow before I managed to throw the lever the other way and watch my arm and hand come back through the rollers . Surprisingly it did not hurt ! The war had been and gone and Rotherham was returning to some sort of normality by the time I put in an appearance . However , as the reader is about to find out I was old enough to remember some of the austerity of the early post war years . My childhood was a comfortable time as I was the youngest in the brood . Most of my good clothes had been worn by my elder brother prior to being handed down the chain to me . My normal day - to - day attire was mostly hand made , sometimes by my mother or they were produced by an aunty . I never understood the real family relationship , but it was always handy to have the surrogate aunts who would supply the odd penny for the sweetshop from time to time . Ration coupons , was a word I did not understand either , other than if I had some pocket money to spend . The coins were worthless without the coupons . A trip to the local shop to purchase sweets - required some careful planning mostly done outside Mrs Crofts shop window on the corner of Westfield View . I would carefully note which of the jars were about to run out . The shop was in reality the front room of someone 's home with a rough and rickety home made counter made out of several up - turned bread trays . The window had a wooden cubicle round it with several shelves displaying various confectionery items . The tall glass sweet jars contained loose " boiled spice " which would be reached down and the contents slowly shaken into a brass cup on the scales whilst the pointer climbed to the appropriate place on the scale . I had noticed quite early on , that if you chose a jar which only contained little more than you wanted , the remainder was often emptied into the brass cup for free . I quickly became quite adept at choosing this kind of sweet jar . Hence the time spent studying the level of each jar 's content through the window . I don 't actually remember the end of rationing or not needing the coupons . I don 't remember any significant change taking place other than over time the number of sweet jars grew and one wall behind the counter had extra shelves fitted to contain them . School was something my mother had carefully prepared me for and I was able to read and write fairly well , even before I started . I can remember being a bit excited whilst at the same time reticent about the whole school prospect . The day dawned and I was escorted to Alma Road Infants School , as were many other kids by their mother . I was very loathe to leave my mother in the playground and to go indoors . Etched indelibly in my memory is the face of my new teacher Mrs Ducker - as she bent over and looked me straight in the eye and I looked her straight in the smiling mouth - which was full of discoloured teeth and accompanied by a strong smokers breath . I was instantly filled with a sense of foreboding of what was to come . I was not about to be disappointed ! I have a few vague memories of that first day , of being sat in a green walled classroom with tables and chairs which seemed to be , even then , far too small for comfort . There were kids wearing glasses with sticky tape over one lens and one or two with purple dye on their heads . It was the summer and some kids were wearing Wellington 's that had been turned down at the top . At the same time , there were strange pictures on the classroom wall done by some previous class of infants . On the wall next to the blackboard was a strange plinth like box , with a small switch underneath . I found out much later it was the " Rediffusion " an early form of cabled radio . I have memories of listening to children 's stories being read out over the rediffusion radio . The next morning my mother came into our bedroom to wake me and my brother up . She said it was time to get ready for school . I reminded her that although she seemed to have forgotten , I had actually been to school the day before . It came as a shock to my system to be told I have to go every day Monday to Friday . I remember thinking that it would soon be Friday and my ordeal of going to school would soon be over . The following Monday it came as an even bigger shock to find out that I would be going to school every Monday to Friday for the foreseeable future . What puzzles me now is that I never noticed previously that my brother and sisters were disappearing off to school each day . At school lunch time we were lined up in pairs along with children from other classes . Into what is called today a crocodile and marched off hand in hand down the road . We went to a small hall where we were seated and supplied with lunch . The food at that time had a peculiar all pervading smell and taste which seemed to be ingrained deep into the greasy hard plastic plates we used . Our teachers however , sat at a posh table on a small stage , where they had glasses and a jug of water to share . Water was something which the children were never provided with . The food we had seemed to have been boiled into submission and all vestiges of goodness would have been removed . I remember telling my mother about my experience and not long afterwards I was escorted home each day for a real meal at home . School milk was something I enjoyed in the morning , but loathed if it was served in the afternoon . In a morning it was still quite cold , refreshing and usually palatable , in the afternoon after it had been stood in the sunshine in the school yard It was often quite warm . Not only that but the cream had risen to the top and congealed to form a plug , that you had to pierce with your finger or tongue . Later I progressed through the infants and on to Alma Road Junior School where a whole new lot of teachers had to be coped with . The schoolboy anecdotes recited by our older siblings about the teachers - left us in the infants - somewhat scared and wary of ever going up . Names like " flogger " Parkin and " caner " Lindley did nothing to inspire confidence . The names were etched into my mind as teachers to be avoided at all costs . However , in truth some teachers like Mrs Garrison ( who was the wife of a local policeman ) were in fact quite warm and friendly . However , others were at best indifferent , whist others were proved to be true to their reputation - that had preceded them . My happy life in the infants was rudely shaken apart by moving into the juniors . Bigger " bully boy " classmates were a constant threat to personal safety . However , this threat was somewhat mitigated by having an elder brother who could be called upon for backup as needed . I soon learned that it was better to stand your ground despite the consequences . There was a need to be prepared to lash out , and to be first to do it . This also needed to be a sustained attack continued until such time as we were pulled apart . That way I tended to come out somewhat unscathed . At the same time I earned the reputation that I was not to be messed with . Like most boys in this period who were a bit short of stature - our dads arranged for some boxing lessons at " Steelo 's " ( Steel Peach and Tozers ) boxing club on Sheffield Road . I learned not only how to hit , but more importantly also where to hit . After attending for a few months I let the boxing drop , it was not something that I enjoyed - but it had given me some much needed confidence and advantage of some pugilistic know - how . ( Steel , Peach and Tozer by Terry Gorman . The Alma road junior girls school was up a set of cast iron stairs from the school yard . The boys would to position ourselves to get the best view of the girls going into school . The more adventurous boys trying to sneak a peek up their dresses to see what colour underwear they were wearing . There would be the odd " wolf whistle " emanating from the boys hidden in the toilet block . It was not good to be seen wolf whistling as this could mean that you were summoned upstairs into a classroom full of girls to explain why you were whistling at them . To be continued . . . . . Mike described as ' Jack Dee in deck shoes ' and a grumpy old curmudgeon who hates to see our wildlife and countryside destroyed . Maggie - a strong willed and fiesty biker . Poppy and Abbey - two strong willed and even more fiesty Wire Haired Fox Terriers .
|
In a time - long long ago , I was a Boy Scout , for a while and like all good scouts dib - dib - dib we were supposed to be able to tie good knots in rope . I think I even got a badge - but it has been a while . Now I am a prospective full time boater , I suppose I should learn again how to tie some of the basic knots . The 42nd Scout Group in East Sussex must have heard about people like me and actually did something about it . They have created some simple animations that show how to tie knots . In an attempt to stop their pages being ripped off by others . There is a notice that says " Do not copy these animated knots pages and text and publish them on the Internet or elsewhere . If you want to put animated knots on your website then please draw your own . " British Waterways are organising groups to spend some time at the beginning of March cleaning up the bridge , canal and towpaths on our waterways system . This started me thinking about what we could do to help . I have done a bit of conservation work in the past . Clearing ditches , repairing fences and improving habitat through scrub clearing etc . This is much the same sort of thing that I have done in the past for the RSPB . This year Towpath Tidy 2010 coincides with our holidays so we will not get a chance to do our bit . Find details here . I have just been on a " green and mean " sortie on the Internet . I thought , if we are going to cruise and park for a few days at a time , we need to look at additional forms of power other than marina power points . Should I go for a solar cell or wind generator system for power back - up on the boat ? Once more there is so much crap in depth on the interwebbie thingy . So much so that it is a real pain in the rear , just to wade through all the dross . It used to be a rule of thumb that the exchange rate was $ 2 = £ 1 now it seems that it 's the other way round . So . . . . . what will be a good live - aboard power budget to aim for 100 - 200 watts and what system would suit my needs ? Then I found this - a new Invention - A Battery Powered by Urine Scientists in Singapore have invented a battery powered by urine . " We are striving to develop cheap electricity upon contact with biofluids such as urine " says Ki Bang Lee , PhD , MS , in a news release . Lee is a principal research scientist at the Institute of Bioengineering where the battery was developed . The battery is described in the Journal of Micromechanics and Microengineering . The battery sandwiches copper , paper laced with copper chloride , and magnesium between two plastic layers . The " sandwich " is later laminated . " When human urine is added into the battery . . . the urine soaks through the paper between the magnesium and copper layers . The chemicals dissolve and react to produce the electricity . In tests , the battery cell produced a maximum of 1 . 47 volts , dropping a bit with time but keeping a constant voltage of 1 . 04 volts . " Do you remember that old Anthony Newley musical " Stop the World I want to get off " well there are times that I wish I could . Nicole Mamo , aged 48 , tried to place a help - wanted advert in a Thetford , Jobcentre . Being the owner of an employment agency ( Devonwood Recruitment Agency ) , Ms Mamo wrote that any applicants for the £ 5 . 80 an hour position of cleaner " must be very reliable and hard - working . " But the Thetford Jobcentre refused to take her ad . The reason given she said was " Because the Jobcentre could have cases brought against them for discriminating against unreliable people . " The following day Nicole phoned Thetford Jobcentre Plus and was told The ' offensive ' advert will remain on their website . Mamo told the Jobcentre . " We supply the National Health Service with staff , so it 's very important for the patients that we have reliable workers and really , using your advice , isn 't the term " worker " discriminatory against the lazy , too ? Source : The London Telegraph . A spokeswoman for the Campaign Against Political Correctness described the decision not to display Nicole 's advert as ' ridiculous ' . She said : ' This situation is absolutely ridiculous - of course people want reliable workers and of course employers should be able to ask for them . ' If they can 't advertise for what they actually want then the system is broken . They won 't be able to find workers who meet their criteria . In order to have decided that the word " reliable " can 't be used they must have put a great deal of thought and time into it . That time could be better spent getting the right people to apply for the right jobs - which is what this advert was trying to do in the first place . ' There is an old saying " Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool . " Today - I felt for a fleeting moment that my talents had breached their bounds . Why , because I considered not trying to get my employers to push me gently towards the door with my pockets stuffed with promissory notes . I gave thought to waiting a few years more until my real retirement day came around . I think it was the coffee that jolted me back to my senses . Last night , I caught the Mem - sahib looking at boats for sale on the RugbyBoats website . There 's nothing new in her perusing the boats available on the web . However , for the first time , she did not pass comment on the boats lack of colour co - ordinated curtains . She chirped on about cabin layouts , fit - out finishes , calorifiers and stoves . It must be getting serious . So what about the colour scheme and how important is that going to be to our choice . I must admit this is not something that I had spent much time pondering on . How about a copy of the best looking car ever to stand on the F1 grid - Colin Chapman 's Lotus JPS - Now there is what I would call a colour scheme . . . . mmmm ! A deep black with gold stripes and text . . . . . . mmmmm ! I am feeling a bit better today after the bitter disapointment of yesterday . So I am back to my normal cheery self and the matter in hand . Most of my narrow boating experience has been gained from the occasional use of holiday hire boats . Most of it enjoyed over a period of twenty years or so . Our first experience being on the wonderful " Shroppie " which I have been back to a few times . Later spending a few family holidays on the Norfolk Broads just by way of a change . As boating went , I found the whole experience very enjoyable . However , I was never in a position to devote the time as well as the family budget towards owning a boat . I suppose like many born - again - boaters , I did flirt with ideas around ownership . However , when it came to the real nitty - grity , I just could not make the final decision . Now the chance of retirement has come around . We are about to become reborn so to speak . Our first faltering steps towards ownership was to get myself up - to - date with current ownership rules and regulations . Allied with this was a need to know of current technology . As much as to see for myself what was available in the narrow boat market . I started with buying boating magazines and searching on - line . This first of all enabled me to see how new and second hand prices compared . As well as to look at what features were being included in the more modern boats that might be needed by way of an upgrade to any second - hand purchase . . Suddenly I realised that what I needed was a itemised narrow boat check - list . I am good at lists ! This was good because it made me think in a more structured way as well as guided my thoughts to what we would need . As I started compiling the check list , I soon realised that it was like Topsy . The check list grew and grew and grew . The more thought I put into the check list , the more I was forced into converting my superficial broad brush strokes approach . It was only then that I realised I was actually drawing up a list of preferences and creating a specification . So a second hand boat can be specified just like a new one . Albeit , a second - hand purchase might need converting . Or more likely , for allowances to be made to finding a boat that was a - best - fit ! So , I split the list into ouside and inside . Then split it again into include documentation and engine . Then split it again to include outside - fore , aft and middle . Then inside - cabin , galley , berth and saloon . Here I am with a six page document which , I am sure will grow even more . See , I told you I was good at lists ! As boats go - I am not a purist . I don 't need to feed an ego based on the traditional styles and methods of operation . However , I do understand why people do that . For my sins I still have a 45 year old 250cc motorcycle that I purchased as my first ever new motorcycle . But I choose to ride a modern 1300cc bike on a day - to - day basis . However , what I do want to feel is all the creature comforts on board . Comforts that new designs , materials and technological changes can offer . Efficiency is the new watchword . Whenever efficiency is measured it is often quantified as a cost saving . However , If your of the green persuasion it can be measured in angst by ones carbon footprint . So what am I looking for ? It is the use of more efficient insulation materials for instance , which will go some way to energy saving . Not only this , but more modern and harder wearing materials , for a better replacement life cycle . Better use of renewable energy , be it wood , solar or wind . Does any boat builder produce one of those EU Energy label that indicate the efficiency of white goods - but for the efficiency and comfort of a narrow boat . And if not - how soon will EU micro regulation require this ? The EU Energy Label is a compulsory notice that is applied to all white goods and home appliances sold within the EU . It allows consumers to clearly see the efficiency and energy consumption of a product . Someone once said - " If you have to ask , you 'll never know " . Now where did I put that list . . . . . Looking out of the window - its a " cold and overcast " day . Bit like me at the moment . I had feedback yesterday about my application to retire early . You have possibly guessed already , the answer was in the negative . This is a bit curious as there are two of us , that are essentially doing just one persons work . A few years ago our two teams were merged together forming something that resembles the oxymoron " marital bliss " . This understandably creates a bit of confusion within the wider team that we both manage . I want to go and sail off into the blood red sunset ( occasionally seen between showers of rain ) over the canals . Whilst at the same time my " oppo " wants to stay on . I have always been somewhat lucky in life he says as he sit here at the computer quietly humming to himself , " Regrets , I have had a few , but there again too few to mention . " It seems that whenever something has gone wrong or not worked out . It has always turned out to be for the best . So , I have come to expect that the same will happen again and again . There is some hope all is not lost . This is because we are in the middle of the latest bi - annual ( four in the last 8 years ) business re - organisations . I expect that I will have been ear marked as usual for nothing in particular . So I shall studiously make myself a very disposable member of staff . Roll on the summer , which is a time when the dust finally settles on reorganisation and the chance to leave early will come around again . Today , we are off to look at a boat near Doncaster . However , because everything is on the back - burner I am having a great deal of difficulty containing my indifference . We had both expressed a wish to view the boat before the good news messenger arrived . So as a salve to one of life 's little disappointments , we will make the trip anyway . I shall buy SWMBO lunch and Poppy will get a chance to walk the towpath . I have the instant antidote to the doldrums , " Narrow Dog to Carcassonne " by Terry Darlington is on my bedside table . I read out aloud the first few pages . Mag 's was soon chuckling as " Brynula Great Expectations or as was suggested Boney Maroney " thereafter to be known as " Jim " was named . Maybe it 's time to read it again . Later . . . . . The boat was actually in excellent condition . The owner fit - out was done using re - cycled solid oak timber , that had been reclaimed from a school gymnasium floor . It also had solid mahogany doors throughout . We would make some changes to the decoration . But the boat would be more than good enough for the first voyage over the summer . The impending ownership of a narrow boat has certainly entered my blood . So much so , that I have been and registered a couple of domain names . The first domain is narrow - boat . com This will give me some scope to develop a whole new website once the early retirement option comes around later this year . I have not given to much thought to the content and direction it will take . My academic background relates to " Networked Information Engineering " so developing the website will give me more of a challenge than the underlying server hardware . The other domain is wits - end . org . uk which is currently directly pointed at this blog . This relates to the name we have chosen for our narrow boat . ( which just happens to be the same as our home ! ) I expect I will move this blog onto a server of my own - at some point in the not to distant future . Maintaining input to the blog is a bit low on my radar just now , because I have little free time to spare at the moment . Just a little bit further down this years calendar is a short holiday coming up at the end of this month . When we will be out and about on a hire boat . Cruising somewhere on the Oxford canal will be our venue for a few days . We have a couple of friends who are coming over to house sit the cat 's for a week . Whilst at the same time they will try living at château Wits - End as they are possibly going to come and live here whilst we are away for a year or two . Other friends are forming a disorderly queue offering to house sit the boat whenever we take a break and go abroad . Well I guess that 's what real friends are for . In the juniors each class was sub - divided and we were assigned a " house " . The choice was either Alma , Rockingham , Boston or Scott - ARBS - the initials of Alma Road Boys School . I was assigned to Rockingham House , this turned out to be quite prophetic later in life . We strived to do good work in class and to try and beat the other houses by amassing a bigger tally of quarter , half and full gold stars . Rockingham never won the shield in my time at Alma road and so I never enjoyed the prize for winning - whatever that was . After a year or so , I progressed into the class of my nemesis Lindley a real brute of a man . He proved to live up to his reputation and was somewhat free with the cane ( which was named Doctor Malacca and kept in a cupboard by his desk ) and the size ten slipper . He was universally feared and at the same time loathed by everyone in his class . I diligently avoided any eye contact and was always careful to never stand out or to be tardy . Watching in muted fear as he caned my class mates for sneezing or other similar pretexts . Nevertheless , I was for a short period the main focus of his ire . It was a very uncomfortable position to be in . So much so , that for the first time I started to skip off school . On the second or third day I was spotted by my uncle . He coaxed out of me what the problems were . He got me to promise to return back to school the next day . When I did Mr Lindley seemed almost indifferent to me from that day on and for the rest of my school life at Alma Road . In hindsight , I progressed through the school with little or no attention from him ever again . My mother and father never knew of this little hiccup in my school life . Had they known that I had bunked off school I would have been in serious trouble . It was some thirty years or so later before I found out that my uncle had made it his business to meet up with Mr Lindley . He had left the teacher with no doubt or uncertainty in his mind about the consequences of what was to happen if I was ever subjected to his attentions in the future . The typical slinking reaction of a bully when confronted by someone bigger and stronger ! Some years later he was confronted by one of my classmates who by this time was himself a man . I don 't know the detail of what happened . Only that it ended up in the courts . By the time I knew it had been and gone from court . Otherwise I would have quite happily stood as a character witness for bully Lindley ! I still loath and detest the man . Towards the end of my time in the ARBS juniors I progressed into Mr Parkin 's class . He was quite a formidable character who could shout for England whenever the mood took him . He had deadly aim with the chalk and was not averse to launching the board rubber . However , I soon learned to like and respect him . He had a style of teaching that I could identify with . Subjects were broken up with little anecdotal quotes . Some of which I still clearly remember over fifty years later . The corridor between the class rooms had a long row of fish tanks . There were the usual freshwater fish and a few exotic ones like Japanese fighting fish . I never did see the fish fight even though I watched them at every opportunity . The headmasters office was just along this corridor , the usual school ruffians were to be seen skulking at his door awaiting some sort of summary justice . On the odd occasion , I was sent out of class to the headmasters office . I was there to collect the " punishment book " . In the book were recorded the names of the kids and a description of the punishment they had received . Not all canings were put in the punishment book , only the ones where the kids had been more disruptive or daring than usual in their opposition to the austere classroom environment . It should be remembered that leisure activities for kids were quite sparse at the time . There was a youth club run within the school by my old nemesis Lindley and so there was no way I or any other child would voluntarily go there . There were the scouts meetings held in the same hall we had our school dinners in . However , my main activity was an almost daily visit to the " new " swimming baths on Westgate Green after school . The " old " swimming baths on Main Street were only visited during the winter months when the new baths were closed . I learned to swim and then to dive in from the board 's , at the new baths . However I was only brave enough to jump in from the " top block " as it seemed to be too much of a life threatening plunge if done head first . Other activities included helping to pull the heavy roller round the pitch at St Peters cricket club or playing in the remains of the old Wheathill Street Foundry . On occasions I would have a free ride on a barge going up the Don towards Sheffield ( but you had to help heave the locks open and closed ) On some days if you were lucky you could even get a ride on a barge going back down river to Goole to save the long walk back home . Later I was to become a Liverpool fan in the days of football legend Bill Shankly . Then , until the present day a Manchester United fan . My early interest in football was at Rotherham United 's Millmoor Ground . It was another opportunistic pass time for me . I had discovered a way to get into the ground for free . I did this by going along the canal bank and up onto the old railway line that once upon a time went into the old Westgate station . It was possible ( but only if you were small ) at one secret point to wriggle into the ground through the fence . The main source of family entertainment at that time was the old wartime radio . The radio had a long piece of wire out of the back that ran across the yard to a bamboo pole fastened to the outhouse . I sometimes used to sit and twiddle with the knobs . Watching the cursor pass names like Hilversum and BOur family were now the proud owners of a Bush television set . I can see it now in my minds eye , a brown Bakelite box with a greenish glow to the tiny screen . I only remember taking a child 's interest in the programs available , especially Muffin the Mule , Whirligig , Andy Pandy and the Flowerpot men . There were other regular features like the man who produced pots on the potter 's wheel . Angel fish , swimming round in a large , dark tank and a windmill that just went round and round . But the radio was still the main focus of entertainment for me . The radio was duly moved to the front room so that it would not disturb anyone watching TV in the kitchen . Before I could move up into South Grove School or the Grammar school , our family were re - housed and we moved out of the old Alma Road and South Grove school catchment area . Unusual for the time ( and in particular for the area where I had previously lived ) I had somehow by way of a miracle passed my eleven plus examination . Most of the kids I went to school with eventually went to work either down the pit , in the steel works or on the railway . Though one or two did go into the forces as an alternative . I didn 't know it at the time , but a whole different life was mapped out for me , ultimately leading to a life in academia . But that 's a whole new story and came about much later in life . When we moved , my old out of school and leisure activities were transformed . The new locality we moved to was very rural , with open fields and woods close by . I soon learned my way round the Wentworth Estates much to the chagrin of Colonel Nutter and his gang of game keepers . At weekends , in the summer holidays or on summer evenings after school I was out exploring in the countryside . I spent many free hours in pursuit of my interest in all kinds of wildlife . In those far off days it was not unusual for kids to go out and collected bird 's eggs , However , I only wanted to know where the birds nest 's were located . Even in those days , the whereabouts of a birds nest was a secret never to be divulged to anyone who collected eggs . It gave me great pleasure to watch from time to time as the chicks progressed to eventually fledge and leave the nest . I soon realised that I needed to have a pair of binoculars . I saved hard and bought myself a pair of second - hand Lieberman and Gortz 10 X 50 binoculars . My new interest in wildlife blossomed into my main interest . In those days I was always anti - hunting and if I saw anyone with an air rifle . I would watch them from a distance to see where they hid their gun . Most parents would not let their kids have guns and so I would wander over in the evening and confiscate the gun . I obtained four or five guns this way . I did not think I was stealing , I thought I was doing my bit for anti - poaching and protecting my much loved wildlife . I can fondly remember ( although I did not know it then ) as a young man seeing my last free roaming Yorkshire Red Squirrel in the trees near Scholes village . The joy of seeing my first ( somewhat fearsome looking ) Little owl perched on a tree branch in almost the same spot but a few years later . I have fond memories of the many times I went fishing in the Wentworth lakes with just a few yards of fishing line tied to a makeshift fishing rod made from a willow branch . Exploring in the ruins of what was left of the buildings that used to be the Squirrel Castle I wasn 't aware of it then but many changes in the way the countryside is managed have destroyed much of the wildlife habitat I roamed around . Trees where I knew Tawny Owls nested every year have been felled . Trees which had small groups of bats living in holes have also been felled . Small pools and old streams have long since dried up . Hedgerows have either been removed or are mechanically trimmed far too short for wildlife to find food and shelter within . Skylarks that once were numerous are seldom seen on their old grounds . Lapwings have gone , much the same way . The secretive voles have disappeared from the banks of the long dried up streams . It 's not all doom and gloom for the wildlife habitat . There have been some significant improvements . Some of the pit waste tips have been sculpted and grassed over . My childhood playground was quite a wonderful experience in reality . Full of simple pleasures and yet one that would be lost on the internet children of today . This childhood kindled in me a life long interest in wildlife which is still a passion today . I am a keen bird watcher , a conservation volunteer and observer on wildlife . Today , I still live in the same area . Every morning from my home on a high vantage point I can look out from my dining room over the fields where I roamed . Now I can watch as the geese and ducks pass overhead . The flurry of golden plover flocks as another winter draws near . The occasional swoop of the sparrow hawk as it come in along the hedgerow and tries to catch birds off the bird table . Visits from the occasional Jay and the constant cooing of Pigeons and Collared Doves . I marvel now when I see house sparrows that once were so common . The sight of young Starlings in their wonderful etched plumage . Dunnocks that skulk at the bottom of the hedgerow with Wrens and Robins . Most of all , it 's the rare but welcome visit from Bullfinches to the bird table that can make my day . I was born almost at the confluence of the River Don and the River Rother . Born into ( in hindsight ) what was considered to be a small family of seven in those long off days . We lived in a two - up and two - down with an attic space and a cold dank cellar . Other bits included an outside toilet and wash house across the back yard . Other families who lived nearby often had ten or more children all crammed into their little two - up two - down houses that seemed to abounded in those days . However , there was one notable family of about sixteen children or maybe there were even more . At this distance in time , my memory might be flawed but the family was quite prodigious . Just like everyone else , they all lived in a two up , two down house a few hundred yards up the road . The eldest son Derek was a school chum and he seemed to have one dad and one or more different mums from time to time . The surfeit of mums always puzzled me , but as was normal in those days , kids never asked and Derek never broached the subject . I can 't help but wonder where everyone went at night in Derek 's home . Maybe they were all stacked on pallets ? My dad had converted the loft space into an attic bedroom in our house . It was into the attic that my brother and I were consigned to sleep . We slept in an ex - army bunk bed that was later replaced by a double bed mattress on the floor as our feet eventually outgrew the bunks . My two sisters had the front bedroom ( this was illuminated by the street light outside ) and mum and dad had the back bedroom . This arrangement was to help dad sleep free of traffic noise in the daytime when he was on night shift . The family dog had the run of the kitchen with a bed on the hearth . However , on very cold nights he would be invited into our bedroom to add a little localised heat in the form of a living hot water bottle for me and my brother to share . However , he would also share a fart with us which would see him banished to the bottom of the bed . In the winter we would put on more blankets and on very cold days we would even throw on a few coats . Cold days were normal during the winter months . However , very cold days were characterised by ice forming on the window panes , on the inside as well as the outside . As a miner , dad had regular deliveries of " ome coil " ( home coal ) which was delivered by a small tipper truck and tipped straight down the " coil oil " ( coal hole ) and was used to provide all the heating and cooking with a Yorkshire range . The old Yorkshire range and white enamel Ascot gas boiler was later ripped out and replaced by a tiled fireplace with a back boiler , for hot water and cooking was switched to a gas cooker . Bath nights depended on your physical size , when I was very young , I was dunked in a small galvanised tub . A few years later , I progressed to the " Tin Bath " which was to be found hanging on a peg in the old back garden air - raid shelter . On bath night , I was fourth in line after my brother and sisters . The bath towels and soap that we used came from the pit head baths and was always of good quality . I would always have the smell of Wrights Coal Tar Soap about me , and it is a soap I still use today . On bath night ( Friday ) the tin bath was carefully placed in front of the kitchen fire . When my sisters went in , the always full clotheshorse was used to protect their modesty . The one abiding memory was that after each child was dunked and scrubbed , a kettle or pan of hot water was added before the next one went in . We also had a wash house in the shared yard round the back of the house . However , it was used to store bikes and toys rather than be used for washing clothes . Mother had a service washing machine , complete with the latest electric mangle attachment . I can remember watching sheets and other such items being passed through to squeeze out the water . There was a small lever on the side which controlled the direction of travel . One day I managed to get my fingers caught in the rollers and my arm was " mangled " almost up to the elbow before I managed to throw the lever the other way and watch my arm and hand come back through the rollers . Surprisingly it did not hurt ! The war had been and gone and Rotherham was returning to some sort of normality by the time I put in an appearance . However , as the reader is about to find out I was old enough to remember some of the austerity of the early post war years . My childhood was a comfortable time as I was the youngest in the brood . Most of my good clothes had been worn by my elder brother prior to being handed down the chain to me . My normal day - to - day attire was mostly hand made , sometimes by my mother or they were produced by an aunty . I never understood the real family relationship , but it was always handy to have the surrogate aunts who would supply the odd penny for the sweetshop from time to time . Ration coupons , was a word I did not understand either , other than if I had some pocket money to spend . The coins were worthless without the coupons . A trip to the local shop to purchase sweets - required some careful planning mostly done outside Mrs Crofts shop window on the corner of Westfield View . I would carefully note which of the jars were about to run out . The shop was in reality the front room of someone 's home with a rough and rickety home made counter made out of several up - turned bread trays . The window had a wooden cubicle round it with several shelves displaying various confectionery items . The tall glass sweet jars contained loose " boiled spice " which would be reached down and the contents slowly shaken into a brass cup on the scales whilst the pointer climbed to the appropriate place on the scale . I had noticed quite early on , that if you chose a jar which only contained little more than you wanted , the remainder was often emptied into the brass cup for free . I quickly became quite adept at choosing this kind of sweet jar . Hence the time spent studying the level of each jar 's content through the window . I don 't actually remember the end of rationing or not needing the coupons . I don 't remember any significant change taking place other than over time the number of sweet jars grew and one wall behind the counter had extra shelves fitted to contain them . School was something my mother had carefully prepared me for and I was able to read and write fairly well , even before I started . I can remember being a bit excited whilst at the same time reticent about the whole school prospect . The day dawned and I was escorted to Alma Road Infants School , as were many other kids by their mother . I was very loathe to leave my mother in the playground and to go indoors . Etched indelibly in my memory is the face of my new teacher Mrs Ducker - as she bent over and looked me straight in the eye and I looked her straight in the smiling mouth - which was full of discoloured teeth and accompanied by a strong smokers breath . I was instantly filled with a sense of foreboding of what was to come . I was not about to be disappointed ! I have a few vague memories of that first day , of being sat in a green walled classroom with tables and chairs which seemed to be , even then , far too small for comfort . There were kids wearing glasses with sticky tape over one lens and one or two with purple dye on their heads . It was the summer and some kids were wearing Wellington 's that had been turned down at the top . At the same time , there were strange pictures on the classroom wall done by some previous class of infants . On the wall next to the blackboard was a strange plinth like box , with a small switch underneath . I found out much later it was the " Rediffusion " an early form of cabled radio . I have memories of listening to children 's stories being read out over the rediffusion radio . The next morning my mother came into our bedroom to wake me and my brother up . She said it was time to get ready for school . I reminded her that although she seemed to have forgotten , I had actually been to school the day before . It came as a shock to my system to be told I have to go every day Monday to Friday . I remember thinking that it would soon be Friday and my ordeal of going to school would soon be over . The following Monday it came as an even bigger shock to find out that I would be going to school every Monday to Friday for the foreseeable future . What puzzles me now is that I never noticed previously that my brother and sisters were disappearing off to school each day . At school lunch time we were lined up in pairs along with children from other classes . Into what is called today a crocodile and marched off hand in hand down the road . We went to a small hall where we were seated and supplied with lunch . The food at that time had a peculiar all pervading smell and taste which seemed to be ingrained deep into the greasy hard plastic plates we used . Our teachers however , sat at a posh table on a small stage , where they had glasses and a jug of water to share . Water was something which the children were never provided with . The food we had seemed to have been boiled into submission and all vestiges of goodness would have been removed . I remember telling my mother about my experience and not long afterwards I was escorted home each day for a real meal at home . School milk was something I enjoyed in the morning , but loathed if it was served in the afternoon . In a morning it was still quite cold , refreshing and usually palatable , in the afternoon after it had been stood in the sunshine in the school yard It was often quite warm . Not only that but the cream had risen to the top and congealed to form a plug , that you had to pierce with your finger or tongue . Later I progressed through the infants and on to Alma Road Junior School where a whole new lot of teachers had to be coped with . The schoolboy anecdotes recited by our older siblings about the teachers - left us in the infants - somewhat scared and wary of ever going up . Names like " flogger " Parkin and " caner " Lindley did nothing to inspire confidence . The names were etched into my mind as teachers to be avoided at all costs . However , in truth some teachers like Mrs Garrison ( who was the wife of a local policeman ) were in fact quite warm and friendly . However , others were at best indifferent , whist others were proved to be true to their reputation - that had preceded them . My happy life in the infants was rudely shaken apart by moving into the juniors . Bigger " bully boy " classmates were a constant threat to personal safety . However , this threat was somewhat mitigated by having an elder brother who could be called upon for backup as needed . I soon learned that it was better to stand your ground despite the consequences . There was a need to be prepared to lash out , and to be first to do it . This also needed to be a sustained attack continued until such time as we were pulled apart . That way I tended to come out somewhat unscathed . At the same time I earned the reputation that I was not to be messed with . Like most boys in this period who were a bit short of stature - our dads arranged for some boxing lessons at " Steelo 's " ( Steel Peach and Tozers ) boxing club on Sheffield Road . I learned not only how to hit , but more importantly also where to hit . After attending for a few months I let the boxing drop , it was not something that I enjoyed - but it had given me some much needed confidence and advantage of some pugilistic know - how . ( Steel , Peach and Tozer by Terry Gorman . The Alma road junior girls school was up a set of cast iron stairs from the school yard . The boys would to position ourselves to get the best view of the girls going into school . The more adventurous boys trying to sneak a peek up their dresses to see what colour underwear they were wearing . There would be the odd " wolf whistle " emanating from the boys hidden in the toilet block . It was not good to be seen wolf whistling as this could mean that you were summoned upstairs into a classroom full of girls to explain why you were whistling at them . To be continued . . . . . Mike described as ' Jack Dee in deck shoes ' and a grumpy old curmudgeon who hates to see our wildlife and countryside destroyed . Maggie - a strong willed and fiesty biker . Poppy and Abbey - two strong willed and even more fiesty Wire Haired Fox Terriers .
|
Almost three must be the perfect age for Christmas . Cora is not quite ready to buy into the whole Christmas idea , but big enough to understand the idea of presents . She has no Santa fetish . She doesn 't really get the Christmas eve adrenalin rush and sugar high combination , nor does she bounce out of bed on Christmas morning at four AM eager to see what Santa brought . Instead , she is happy to go to sleep on time , wake when Mom and Dad ( who do still get the adrenalin going ) wake her , and listen intently as we try to explain why good behavior puts you in the red ; Santa 's big red heart that is . She also just loves the idea of presents . A couple days before Christmas she helped Dad wrap presents for Mom , and Mom wrap presents for Dad . After tapping her lips and happily telling me she wanted me to see the " cards " a great hint that one of dads packages might contain a card game , she began to use the word presents . In the spirit of the holidays , she began to use a towel and wrap up various items as gifts for the kittens . One towel , which contained a couple pairs of her play shoes was delivered . " Here kitty ! I have a presy for you ! " she said . The kitten looked at the big green thing coming toward her and took off . Being two , Cora resorted to her typical method of delivery . Do you have any idea how hard it is to lecture a two year old on throwing things , while digging a cat out of a pile of shoes and towel ? Christmas is bliss this year , because Cora was happy to give from her heart , to everyone ( not just the kitties ) . Maybe that is the best spirit of Christmas . Its the day after Christmas , all is quiet in the house . Nyobi got up at 6 : 30 , which means moms up and about . The boys are asleep . Cora went down at 9 : 00 last night , and has barely stirred . She wore new Christmas clothes to bed . Nyobi is wearing a colorful outfit ( not new clothes ) and snuggling with mom on the couch while we blog about the holiday . This is the first christmas that Cora will probably remember . Santa came . Santa even ate the garlic cookies which some silly mother stamped out in attractive shapes . There were little do hickeys and trinkets galore . The favorite gift seems to be the paint set that Santa left . Now if only he had left a floor cleaner for mom . . . Pete installed his new memory in his now warrentyless netbook on the fourth try . Kelly is psyched to have two new games to woop Petes butt at , and Nyobi has glow in the dark nookies ( FINALLY ! I 'll be able to find the Bleeping things a 3 am at Nannys house . ) And then there is the question of love . My living room is strewn with small child toys , and colored pencils , but my daughters favorite Christmas present was getting to drag her two bachelor uncles to her room for some one on one block tower building . Nyobi broke the all time sleep record by failing to take longer than a 20 minute nap all day , ensuring that she spent time in everyones arms , and tried to pull off parts of everyones faces . If you could explain why she ONLY puked on Mom , I would appreciate that . In the end , christmas is not about the things , though they are nice and shiny , but about the memories . Next week , the toys will still be here . The computer toys will seem like they have always been installed , the games played , and the slinky . . . Actually the slinky probably didn 't make it through today . It will not be " another slinky " that Cora will ask for . She will ask to go see Uncles Beer and Shorty , and to go to Nannys house . She will ask for that magic of christmas again . To spend time sitting on the floor with Mom and Dad in her pajamas playing with goofy little trinkets and eating a pound Posted by Our Christmas tree is beautiful , and its created a couple interesting problems in our house . I waited until a few nights ago to tinsel it . Between the active re decorator ( Cora ) and the active de - tinselers ( cats ) , it was just easier to give the tinsel less time to spread out . Cora woke up in the morning , walked down the hall and stopped about five feet from the lit up tree . She approached with caution , leaning in and wrinkling up her nose and face with a look of displeasure . " WHAT is ON my tree , Mom ? " she quearied . The accusion in her voice when she said my name was paramount . She now accepts and appreciates the tinsel . Nyobi had no such issues . That is probably because her vocabulary consists mostly of baby sounds and the mornful middle of the night maaa maaa . She found a piece of tinsel on the floor and spent a good ten minutes trying to pick it up . Then once she managed to free the staticy piece from the floor , she put it where EVERYTHING goes these days . I gave her her chew keys when I took the tinsel away , but she wasn 't done attempting to eat the tree yet . A few minutes later , I noticed the lights on the tree were flikering . I looked up just in time to do an across the room dash . Babys with sharp little teeth should probably not chew on the light cord for the christmas tree . Cora came into Nyobis room with two jars of baby food . I asked her where she got them . It was important to know whether she got into the pantry ( discouraged but not punishable ) or my bedroom closet where Santa stores Christmas presents ( punishable and usually locked ) . She looked at me and hemmed and hawed . Finally , her mind settled on the " right answer " i . e . the one that owuld get her in the least trouble in her mind . " Your closet mommy . " She answered , her eyes twinkling with pent up devilry . I turned her around swatted her butt and sent her to her bed . She left crying as I followed out of the room . I looked in my bed room , and the closit door was closed . Worse than that the hook and eye at the top of the door , well out of her reach was still secure . I looked out in the hallway again , and sure enough , the pantry door was wide open and the baby food jars were spilled across the hall . Thats when it hit me . Cora LIED to me about where she got the food . She did it thinking she would avoid punishment , but all it did was make the punishment worse . The worst part was that I spanked her for getting in the pantry ( not a spankable offense ) . Wait , I thought . Pausing as I looked at the tear streaked face in the room across from me . She lied . Now I know what the lecture can be on ! Sometimes parents can be the stupid parties . When I stepped out of the shower yesterday , I noticed that the door to the bathroom was closed . This , I have learned through hard experience makes the couple minutes after my shower trouble . In this case , I found the culprit sitting on the floor in the kitchen by our turn around cupboard . She was , in her own words " Cooking for YOU Mommy ! " As sweet as the thought was , It just wasn 't my morning for trail mix flavored rice vinegar and oil salad dressing . Especially not when the idea of using a bowl just had NOT occurred to the chef . Stunned by my silence , and deciding that my lack of words was a result of miscommunication , She demonstrated her cooking ability by taking a huge globful of vinegar and oil soaked dried fruit and dumping it into the nearest ( unplugged ) appliance . It must have been a day for cooking , because after a truely gruesome diaper change I found a puddle of corn syrup and rock salt ( with a bit of pepper ) . And I walked back from using the bathroom to a puddle of lawrys seasoned salt . My kitchen floor is very clean now too ! Oh , and did I mention that I might need to buy a new toaster ? Nyobi can crawl . Well rather she can push up on her hands and slide her whole body . Unfortunately , she only goes backwards . Put her down on the floor and eventually she rolls over onto her stomach and begins to scoot around the room . Usually she is trying to get to the toy in front of her . She stares at it in deep concentration . She pushes up . She slides backwards . She then raises her hands and feet off the ground and wiggles them trying to get that forward thing working . Sometimes she uses one arm and reaches for it with pudgy little fingers . Other times she talks to it , with soft happy baby noises , which roughly translate as . " Come closer little chewable object ! " She 's been attempting to move forward for the last couple days , so the excitement and urgency are no longer as obvious as when she first discovered her ability to move . Last night was different . Last night there was a Christmas cookie on a napkin on the floor about two feet in front of her head . Having come to the conclusion that big people food ( especially anything associated with Cora ) is much better than baby food ( pureed green beans and brown rice , bleck ! ) she zeroed in on the treat . After a quick attempt at cookie whispering , she tried to move . It resulted in the same backward motion . So she arched her back . With hands and feet off the ground she began to kick frantically , waving her hands to increase the natural rocking motion . Her eyes were glued on the cookie . She kept it up for quite a while . Finally Mom picked her up , her eyes still focused on the dratted treat . Wow is she going to go fast when she figures out that her tummy is supposed to be up and her hands and knees down . Coming out of the bathroom , Cora met me at the door yesterday . She had my keys in her hand , and she spewed out a half intelligible sentence . " Mommy the people are stuck . " she said when I asked her to repeat . " People ? " I ask . Wrapping my towel closer around me , and trying to hear noise by my front door . " Stuck . " She adds again , as if I 'm being excessively dense . Two year olds must think so quite often . Most people just can 't understand them , even though they are wasting all this energy on talking when they could be trying to turn your sofa cushions into snowflakes . I decide that any people , real or fictitious would rather see me clothed than naked ( specific party excluded ) , and calm her down with an , " In a second , help mommy get dressed first . " whipping through my drawers and pulling on clothes , I retrieve the fore offered keys from Coras hand . " Where are the people stuck , sweetheart ? " I ask . " In the box . " she says . Leading me into the living room . She pulls me over to the fake train set that is lieing on the floor still in its container . " See , they stuck . You unlock them . " Then showing an aptitude for lateral reasoning that surprised me . " Daddy tape them , see ! " She points . It is nice to know she suspects Daddy of locking up the imaginary people on the train not me . Releaved that I wasn 't expected to aid some silly Georgians who decided to try driving in a Michigan winter , I sat down and began to help Cora assemble the train . As I pulled out the track , she pulled out the cars . As I assembled the track , she peered into the box . " Where are the people ? Where are the houses ? " she asked me . She lays down the box and points to the village miniatures they use to make the train set look very appealing . Fortunately there were people on the train . I explained that those houses were just in the picture , and she could make her own if she liked . She didn 't . She was too busy letting the train run into her hands and then waiting impatiently for me to put it back on the tracks . I now understand that adults aren 't the only ones takePosted by This morning , in the midst of the rush to get everything done and get out of the house , we multi tasked . My husband went to the end of the drive way to bring back the trash cans , and I got the kids in the car and pulled out onto the drive . Unfortunately , Cora decided that I , in my infinite wisdom , forgot to make sure daddy wasn 't in the car . As I pulled out of the garage , there were genuine tears rolling down her cheeks as she frantically tried to communicate the fact that Daddy wasn 't in the car . " Forgot Daddy ! Forgot Daddy ! " I stopped in the drive way , and the forgotten one approached the vehicle and climbed in . Nyobi managed to soften up a client whom I work with . Her happy looks also smoothed over some rough emotional background . I think she might be starting , or fighting a minor ear infection , but she 's such a happy baby , its hard to figure out when she 's in pain . Asside from the occassional teething issues ( she draws blood with the two teeth she has ) , she is a smiley child . This afternoon , my big girl helped me make all sorts of appetaizers for a family party . I need to do this again when I visit the other side ( mine ) of the family . Cora rolled , spread , sprinkled and thoroughly enjoyed the cooking process . Please don 't mention this to anyone until after the 13th . People are always a little suspicious of child cooked foods , and with good cause . Due to the marvels of Michigan weather , I spent the night at my parents in an impromptu grandchildren visit . Wound up from driving in an icy sloshing winter scape , It took me an hour to settle into the idea of crawling into bed . At midnight , I cuddled up closed my eyes and fell half asleep . The special senses that come with being a mother , or a light sleeper , woke me up an hour later . As I opened my eyes , I got a close up view of my eldest daughters face . " Mom , I sleep with you ? " she queried . I moved over , made room and helped hoist her into bed . Evidently , her definition of sleep and mine are not the same . Half an hour later , she is still tossing and turning , and putting her cold feet on my legs . I believe this was the time that frazzled tired mom said something about f ' ing going to sleep . A moment of peaceful silence followed , and I drifted off with the illusion that cora was asleep . In the depths of slumber a small voice said " I go see Sammy and Nanny . " Once it filtered through , my eyes popped open to a deserted pile of covers . I leapt out of bed , motiviated by an entirely unrealistic urge to find and duct tape my child in her sleeping bag . At the top of the staircase , I found her cuddling with the dog , and physically relocated her . Just as she was drifting off to sleep , there was a sound from a corner . The baby was hungery . I am sure , someone somewhere was sleeping , but it was not me . I was busy trying to comfort a sleepless two year old , and feed a baby . Tuesday evening , Cora and I picked up her room . We found the floor ! We also located a book of creatures , some of which she petted and others that she pointed to with a false scream and hid behind me . One that left her staring in fascination was a crab . We talked about crabs and where they live and what those big claws are for . I told her , " some day , we will go to a beach with crabs , and try and catch them . " The next morning , she came trouping out of her bedroom bleary eyed and dragging her back pack . She set it down with her blanket and doggy T , then went back to her room . When she re - appeared she had a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers which she thrust into her back pack . " What are you doing honey ? " I asked . " Why do you have your back pack ? " " We are going to the beach . " she said . Then she looked out the window at the snow . " It 's cold . No swim suit . I wear my boot . " Some day was evidently yesterday , because her insistence that we go to the beach continued until I explained the the crabs had gone south for the winter . So , I have learned a new trick this evening . I can now include illustrations in my diatribates on my favorite subject . As you can see from my first illustration Cora learned a new trick today as well . When we moved into this house , I could not understand why the closets in the childrens rooms had supports in the center of the shelves , nor could I understand how or why there were crayon marks everywhere . I thought , in my infinite ( and pregnant with our first ) wisdom , that these parents must have been terrible . They were terrible parents , but that wasn 't the issue . The supported shelves were an important functional part of making a place of small children to play . As you can see , Coras position explains the supports completely . It also explains why there were ( and still are ) crayon marks on the ceiling of the closet . I 'm still trying to figure out why there are pencil marks on the hallway wall that I painted last week , and washed this morning . I don 't even know when she got a pencil . Maybe it was one of the cats . I 'll ask Cora . Her other new skill this week is telling little falsehoods . It will give her a chance to practice . Cora has hard time remembering the difference between items . She mixes up sugar , salt and flour . She calls any white goop in the fridge sour cream , which means that pumpkin pie is topped with sour cream in her mind . Actually that sounds kind of good . These mind switches resulted in some interesting names . she calls bananas blini 's . She calls mac n ' cheese simply cheese . After all , the mac part is relatively un important in her mind . The most hilarious and well documented switch she makes is a bit obtuse . She mixes up mushrooms and shrimp . It might be the shr noise in both of them . She will ask for shrimp while holding a can of mushrooms , or ask for mushrooms when she sees the shrimp in the freezer . I am tempted to make a dish with both of them in it , just to see what she does . This weekend was devoted to cleaning up the girls rooms . With the holidays coming , it was time to go through the almost threes toys and remove the ones that were destroyed , not used and generally past her play level . This is not always an easy thing to do , especially with said two year old helping . Whilst going through Coras toys I found a couple items that i thought could be happier with another child . One was a childs xylophone . The other was a set of plastic dominos . Remembering what she played with recently , I reluctantly put back the xylophone and put the dominos in the donate bin . At this time , Cora came to check on my progress . Seeing her dominos her eyes lit with excitement . " My dominos ! " " No honey , you don 't play with those , we are going to give those to another child . " " NOOOO mommy ! MY dominos . " She grasps the bucket they are in with both small hands and hugs it to her chest possessively . Pete steps in , " Cora come here ! " I know precisely where this is going . My wonderful husband is backing up my decision . Cora WILL do as I say , and he is enforcing it . However , I have a brilliantly silly idea . " Okay honey , if you want to keep the dominos you need to choose a different toy that you don 't want to keep . " I scan the pile of iffy toys that I 've stacked next to the donation box . The xylophone hits my eyes . " How about this ? " I ask . " Do you want to keep the dominos or this ? " She looks at the two items , and taps her lips with one finger in her classic thinking pose . " Okay . " she says , turning back to the dominos . " You want to give away the xylophone not the dominos ? " I ask in surprise . " Yeah Mom . " she says vaguely . She watched me put it in the car . I asked her again . " We 're going to give it away right ? " " For another kid . " she told me . The second conversation occurred over the bin of toys I designated for Nyobi . She reached for one and said " Mine ! " " Yes . " I said . " But you are too big for those toys . Why don 't we give them to Nyobi ? You can teach Nyobi how to play with them . " The silence that greated this comment worriePosted by There is a serious problem with your life when the following happens : My 2 year old daughter saw that I was dragging and irritable . When I grabbed my hair after catching her yet again trying to get the gum off the top of the TV , I groaned , " I 'm soo tired of this . " She went into the kitchen , and got her chair . She dragged it over to the counter , got the coffee down , the coffee pot out of the coffee maker , and a napkin . She then proceeded to use the napkin as a coffee filter , put it in the right place and fill it with grounds . This is the point where I enter the kitchen . " What are you doing ? " I demand . " You tired . " she says . " I make you coffee . " She might be a pain in the butt kid some days , but she is MY pain in the butt kid , and I think she might just love me . Cora is a color aficionado , but she does not like crayons . Her favorite tool for putting shade on paper is paint . Her favorite tool for putting shade on skin are markers . She occasionally gets to paint . I must be crazy , but I let her sit on the floor and slather paper and little wood boxes with acrylics . I also discovered that a fine toothed comb can remove acrylic from hair , and that cello pads get it off of linolium with out scratching the floor surface . Currently the compromise color tools are pencils . She has a variety of colored pencils , which she uses to super saturate the pages of her coloring books , her craft papers and if I do not supervise well , her walls . She likes them to be sharp . She likes them to be really sharp , and it makes her smile a goofy little smile that I can totally relate to . Unfortunately Cora cannot seem to say " sharpen . " Every time she tries it comes out " sharp - " . A swallowed e at the end signifying her efforts to make it the correct word . These colored pencils have a new name too , they are her " sharps . " " Mooom , sharp these sharps please ! " she asks . " sharpen , shar - - - - PEN " I enunciate for her . " Yeah Mom , Please " she says , totally avoiding the language lesson . " okay , give me the sharps . " I say with a sigh . Its nice to know that I 'm teaching her language . Or vice versa . . . With your first child , their only other examples are parents . They accept the difference of treatment quite readily . Parents are parents after all , and children are children . With the second child there is another example of treatment , the older child . At five months , Nyobi is beginning to notice this disparity of treatment . Her expressive eyes seem to flash the reproachful statement " I 'm Big Too ! " When Cora brings my a bottle of pop and asks for a sip , I open it up . I take a sip then pass it to her . Nyobi watches us disappointingly . " I 'm big too ! " those eyes say . " I want some ! " She gives a little whine of protest as I set the bottle down and re - cap it . As Cora plays with her cars on the floor , Nyobi watches and begins to crab . " I 'm big too ! " she says . " Why can 't I have a car to play with ? " Then when her frustration grows at not being able to play with it properly the real tears begin . That is why second children do so much stuff way before the first one did . They seem to notice that small people are allowed to do these fun things , and they don 't seem to understand the size difference functionality . So as I slip another spoon full of chocolate ice cream into Nyobis mouth , kiss her little spoiled nose , I remember that second children are special . Did I mention I 'm a second child ? Thats why I get chocolate ice cream . Once upon a time I did not notice what words came out of my mouth . Now I sometimes stop mid sentence or change course as to avoid certain catchy phrases and idioms . Sometimes there are mess ups that just stick , regardless of whether they make sense or not . Last week , I told Cora we were going to go out . She looked up from her coloring book . " Where ? " she asked . " To find a pirate ship . Don 't you want to go sailing on a pirate ship , Yarge ! " I said . I didn 't think much of it . She didn 't think much of it at the time either , because she went back to coloring . The instance passed from my brain . Then today , after an episode of treasure hunting TV , I again took her " adventuring " with me . " Good ! " She said . " Lets find a pirate ship . Lets do that ! " When we returned from our adventures her dad asked her what she did . " Looked for a pirate ship . " she said . " Did you find one ? " " No . " She sat down to take her boots off . " The pirate ship was closed too ! " Now that snow season is here , its time to drag out the snow blower and start it up . I am always up toward doing so before it freezes outside . I am not so great at moving the snow blower though . The blower itself weighs more than I can comfortably drag around without it being motorized . I did attempt to start it this fall . It doesn 't have a manual . It is composed of a lawn mower engine bolted onto the old base for a Canadian blower . You can tell it is Canadian because the french writing on the original control panel has not worn off yet . The English instructions are rusted out . Fortunately I can read french . I cannot however figure out how to start it this year . Looks like a job for Super Husband ! I did attempt to start it . I dragged it out of the shed , turned on the choke , yanked the chain , heard the clicking noise , and saw a small brown creature with huge black eyes poke its head out of the snow chute . Awe ! How cute ! A mouse ! Yank two had the mouse attacking my foot . Once I finished a neat little dance , the thoroughly freaked out mouse ran back in the shed , and the thoroughly freaked out me went back to yanking the chain . Another mouse attacked ! then another , and another . By the time four sets of baleful black eyes were staring at me , my nerves were worn out , my shoulder hurt , and the engine was just starting to make " going to turn on in ten more minutes of intense attention " noises . There was nothing else to do . I took the snow blower and I rolled it back into the shed . I ushered the disgruntled residents back into their home , and closed the door . Then I mentioned to my husband that he might want to wear long pants and boots when he goes out to snow blow the first time . He looked at me as If I was a total idiot . Perhaps I should tell him why . . . Nope . He 's always saying that he loves surprises . What a different a full year makes in a childs attitude toward snow . We had our first snow fall this week , a light fluffy layer that appeared early one morning . The sort that sticks to the branches in inch high stacks . I was not elated . The snow blower is still in the storage shed . Cora was enraptured though . She woke up grumpy and discontented , sat on the couch until I almost dragged her into the kitchen to look out the french doors . Suddenly the sleepy veneer crumbled as an inner delight hit her eyes and her feet . On tip toes she ran over and began to pull on her slippers . " No honey . " I told her . " You have to wear boots , and snow pants and a jacket to go outside in the snow . " " No Mommy . I fine . " " Either you wear what mommy wants you to , or you don 't go outside . " I told her . It took her a minute or two , but she came over and began helping me dress her in a layer of insulation that was thicker than she was . Walking bow legged she got to the french doors . I lifted her up over the thresh hold and put her on the top step of the porch . I watched her take a tentative step , and wondered whether she was going to manage to bend her knees enough to step down the stairs . She did . A snow angle and a couple of snow balls and such later , she was ready to come inside . Though I am certain Cora has many faults , the biggest problem this week seems to be her confidence . She is sure of herself in ways I did not think two year olds understood . Size does not intimidate her . Looks do not intimidate her . I do not intimidate her . Today , instead of whining about day care , she requested to go see Miss Sheri , Toby , Drew and Kyle . I was delighted . When I picked her up , I discovered that her newfound love of daycare was accompanied by her regular bravado . The trial period for Miss Sheri was over , and she was quite hilariously describing to me why Cora deserves an A in attitude , from the hands on hips pose to the Clothes line , block the other kids from the toy bin routine . Regardless of my lack of sympathy , I did talk to the little dictator about manners . I think the description of " head strong " goes about as far toward true as " stubborn as a mule . " Stubbornness and confidence don 't always work well together . Yesterday on our weekly trip to the big pool , Cora showed unusually high confidence in water . I was thrilled until she migrated from the safe " leasure pool " with its 5 feet depth to the lap swim pool with its 13 + foot diving well . After watching the joy and bravado the other children showed jumping off the diving board , and before I could climb out of the pool and catch up with her , she was on the steps to go off the one meter spring board . This is not bad . I love her desire to do all new things . I usually encourage her to try . There was just one little problem . Cora can 't swim yet . She has steadfastly refused to let go of me in the pool . She clings to me with the desparation of someone who knows they are going to drown if they let go . I stood there holding her hand , explaining to her that she would end up sinking thirteen feet to the bottom if she jumped off . She just nodded her head yes , and stared determinedly into the debths . " Do you still want to jump ? " I asked . " Yeth . " she said . " Are you certain ? Mommys not going to catch you . You will be all by yourself in the water . " " Yes . " " You arePosted by Nyobi has her first tooth ! We spotted it growing out of her lower gum 's yesterday , which would explain the temperature and temper tantrums I lived through yesterday afternoon . It does not explain the vomit , but I don 't think there is an explanation for baby vomit . It just happens . Cora has a new game . She loves memory . We made memory tiles out of stickers and paper , and have been matching the pictures . She is pretty good at finding the matches and remembering . Of course there are only twelve tiles . Now all I need to do is make a set of tiles with letters on them . I left Cora in the kitchen playing memory tiles , and Nyobi in the swing , bibbed and ready for her morning feeding of baby food . I went to use the bathroom . I came back to Coras excited crys of " Mommy come here ! Mommy look ! " I got ready to ooh and ahh over another great match of memory tiles . Instead my eyes were greated by my two year old , baby spoon and baby food jar in hand , pointing precariously toward the front of the baby swing . In the five minutes of my absence Cora fed nyobi a quarter of a jar of baby food , most of which , because Nyobi was too busy smiling , ended up on Nyobis bib , chest and hands . Both were excessively please with eachother . Both were covered in pasty oatmeal with pears and cinnemon . Another two outfits relegated to the laundry pile . Note to self . Do not put babyfood within reach of Cora . Wait , its better than cheese its isn 't it ? What happened to the memory chips ? Some mornings , especially after nights with frequent wake ups , I do not want to get out of bed . These mornings tend to drag in an endless row of excuses and slow downs , until noon rolls around and I am still in my night things , and Cora is eating crackers , not a nutritious breakfast . This was bound to be one of those mornings . The baby began to cry at 6 : 50 AM . She didn 't settle down again though , so at 7 : 15 I was up with her , making yet another bottle , and wondering why I didn 't buy the expensive coffee maker that ground , measured filled and brewed at the push of one button . By 9 I was still in pajamas , Cora was watching her second choice of a movie ( the first was too scary ) , and the baby was just waking up for the short nap . I retrieved the mewling infant . Babies do really make a pathetic mewling like noise when they want attention . She gave me a beatific smile , and happily tried to stick her feet in the pooppy diaper I changed . I picked her up again , rubbed her nose and then watched in utter astonishment . Nyobi vomited in a clear clean arch , right down the V in My pajama top . It was as if she aimed . Only the left over end of the vomit spew managed to soak my robe and her outfit . Her favorite pink blanket didn 't have a drop of disgusting curdle on it . So here I am , caring for the baby , finishing my blog post , drinking more coffee and dressed and showered . Its amazing what a simple catalyst a little bit of baby puke can be . I have to quit wearing V neck shirts , that is the ickiest feeling on your skin . This Monday I took both children grocery shopping with me . Considering how badly things can and have gone at stores with the two , I 'm amazed how well they went . There were only two incidences of paniced running to the bathroom with a two year old whose bladder control is barely existant . Best yet , I knew where the bathroom was . Nothing is worse than a store whose bathrooms are hidden in a distant location , and require instructions , especially when you are holding the child with their crotch against your body . If they lose it , you get soaked . Cora did cause a moment of panic in the store though . It was not because she dissappeared either . We were in the vegi section . She was walking with me , which is a great way of getting your cart loaded down with produce . She retrieved tomatos , cucumbers and a hand full of garlic heads , all of which were not on my list . While she was checking out the snow peas , she discovered the worst mistake the produce employees could make . I didn 't actually see the discovery , but I 'm sure the lightbulb above her head was the size of a blimp . All I heard was an elderly ladies voice from behind me go " uh oh ! There is trouble ! " Its amazing how I associate the word trouble with my daughter . I turned just in time to see her press the trigger on the hoze nozzle and shoot a stream of water all over the displayed vegitables . As I began sprinting toward her , I watched her eyes turn bright blue and sparkly and the nozzle head turn toward me . Fortune smiled upon me . I did not get a shower in the Meijers produce aisles , but I did get a bit of a scare . What idiot left the hose down there anyways ? Where are they ? I want to spray them . While I 'm at it , I 'll get those two ladies who stared down their noses at me like I was some degenerate parent . Within 24 hours of being in my house , my new couch absorbed spilled juice and baby puke . I expected this sort of abuse . I purchased with this sort of abuse in mind , but it always gets me that small children both gravitate toward new objects in the house and manage to destroy thier newness . Friday I purchased a new pair of jeans and a flannel shirt . With a burp rag on my lap , i sat in a chair with my youngest , talking and holding her . She had not eaten in over half an hour , putting her outside the regurgitation period . I hear a pop noise coming from her , and look down . A huge glob of baby puke exits her mouth with a surprisingly large horizontal tragetory . It totally misses the aforementioned burp rag , and instead flops down on the zipper panel of my new jeans . The slimey goo refused to wipe gracefully , and left a strong odor of stale milk in its wake . The jeans went in the wash , and the baby went back to Daddy while I changed . Nyobi never pukes like that . The one day she does , I have on jeans I 've worn for less than 24 hours . So much for new . Newness does not last because children are present in a home . Some weird feng shui balance principle reserves the title new for them . Fall is here , and with it , the impending end of Coras weekly morning treat . She loves the farm market . On Thursday our local community has a small farmers market in the parking lot next to where my husbands office building is located . Cora lives for this event . " What do you want to do today ? " is usually followed by a hopeful " Farm market ? " The notion of a weekly event is hard for someone who can not wait ten minutes without getting bored . She really does think that I can waive my hand and make the kind vendors appear in the parking lot , ready to tolerate her stomach fueled kleptomania . She eats her way from booth to booth , a green bean here , a strawberry there , a cherry tomato at TA , and OOOh ! Her body wiggles with excitement at the site of black berries . I pull out some cash . She 'll scarf an entire bundle of those . Unfortunately , once the snow flies , or November 's cold sets in , the resident farm market peoples pack up their Thursday get together for good . I know it will be back in May , but I have a feeling Cora will not be comforted by its return in six months . What I 'll do when the tears start flying I have no idea , maybe I 'll just pretend there are no Thursdays in November or December . Oh wait , Thanksgiving . And Christmas this year too , both on Thursdays . That won 't work at all . Perhaps I should find some enrichment course , or kleptomania therapy for her . Lovey : A dirty blanket , stuffed animals ( usually non - machine washable ) , or a toy that a child names , and refuses leave the house without . The loss of a lovey will cause both child and parents to break into tantrums and tears . Blankey : ( a ) any blanket that will not cover more than half of an adults body . ( b ) a lovey , whose sacred substance should not be touched by strangers , even if the child attached to it puts it in their way deliberately . Kitty : ( a ) a house cat . ( b ) a skunk , hopefully outside of the house . Sippy : A lidded cup usually possessing a stop flow valve , that allows small children to turn the glass upside down with minimal spillage . Note : hurling sippys at objects , or squishing them too much will cause them to leak . Potty ( a ) the place you should not be when a two year old declares they have to " go potty " ( b ) a room with NO privacy . Pretty : ( a ) the other adjective the child could have used instead of stinky . ( b ) something you should not hand over to the child if you ever want to see it again , even if you think its indestructable . Puppy : ( a ) any dog like animal regardless of age . ( b ) a kitty . Horsy : ( a ) any animal larger than a great dane that the child is not familiar with . ( b ) a horse . Fishy : anything that lives in water and is not a froggy . Froggy : anything that lives in the water and is not a fishy . TeeVee : Something children never feel they get enough of , and parents think they get too much of for their health . Note : TV 's in parents homes rarely show anything that is not rated less than PG . Onesy : A long t - shirt that buttons over the crotch of a child , stopping it from riding up when they squirm . Nukey : a pacifier , see also Paccy , sucky , and dirty . Crazy : where parents are driven by the vocabulary that ends in the " ee " sound . My daughter Nyobi appears to have the great makings of a conversationalist . She talks . She talks back to you , she complains vocally when she is not comfortable , and she engages in that charming past time of infant conversation . My favorite past time is to sit there and talk to her about really silly stuff and see her smile and goo ga back at me . I know she doesn 't understand , because she would never have smiled at my explanation about the impending use of the nasal spray on her cute little nose . She did clearly tell me afterward that she didn 't enjoy the experience . At least I think that is why she screamed bloody murder for fifteen minutes . What I really want to know is why my husband walks in the door right after I do things like that . Either that or why Cora must cry too , as if I spend my days torturing the children to tears . At dinner the other night , we were holding a beautiful conversation . Pete was telling me about his day , and I was telling him about my efforts at social networking . Cora was picking at her dinner and " arfing " like a dog ( she sounds very realistic ) . Suddenly a new noise overrode everything . I was about to ask Cora if she hurt herself when the sound repeated ; actually hurting my ears . This new ear piercing , obnoxiously loud noise was emiting from our four month old . All three of us stared at her in shock for a second . Then Pete looked at her , " awe , are we ignoring you ? " She stuck her fingers in her mouth and grinned , munching them into a slobbery mess and continuing her conversational imput with more goos and gaas . " Arf arf " said Cora . " No barking at the table . " I imputed sideways . " No shreiking either ! " I waved a finger towards Nyobis grinning moist face . She said " blagaaaga . " My worries about Nyobi , the second child , not getting heard dissipated . Darn it though , Cora and Pete now have an excuse for selective deafness . I certainly do . Waking up to a beautiful and warm day in October , I turned to my husband , snuggled up and suggested that we go to the zoo . Instead of answering me , he sighed deeply with contentment and commented on the fact that the only people in bed right now were him and I . At that point and time , Cora 's footsteps approached down the hallway , and a little voice started calling " Moom , mom ! " as she approached . Cora was moderately excited about going to the zoo . She didn 't really understand what a zoo was though . When we first got there , her only interest was playing in the leaves and chasing ground squirrels . Then we hit the first exhibit . A flurry of body energy passed into her as she clung to the viewing bars and pointed to the pool filled with Pelicans and Flamingos . " Look daddy ! " she said with great excitement . " My favorite chickens . " The eagle was also a member of the ubiquitous chicken family . The tapir , and warthogs were either doggies or pigs . Any reptile was a snake , except the turtle , which had its own name . Llamas are horsies . The chimps , and sloth were both monkeys , and the cats were kitties , no matter the size . It really is hard to catagorize animals if you have never seen them before , and I 'm proud of my daughter for getting so many close to their relatives . I am not proud of her for calling her sister a monkey this morning . I told her she couldn 't have one of hr favorite chickens as a pet . Since having a child I have met creatures I did not know existed . Here are a couple of the most recent and cutest things that Coras imagination brought to life . Hopefully this is simply a usual childhood trend and I will not spend years dodging lightening harnessing resucitation machines . At the restaurant the other day , I met Squishy . That is the name of the pencil topper octopus Cora found in my purse . Squishy borrowed Cora 's pen . Squishy drank some of Cora 's milk . Cora even made the sippy noise for her . To top it all off , squishy wiped her mouth on Cora 's napkin . Then Squishy jumped on to the floor , inciting Cora to jump down after her and rescue her . This of course was a necessity , which my daughter tried to explain to me trumped the " stay in your seat " order Mom gave her . Finally , at the end of lunch , Squishy jumped back into her bubble gum machine ball , and was stored safely in my purse for the next lunch . Oing Loing wasn 't that lucky . Oin Loing was purchased at a craft fair . He bounced around , the yarn spider that he was , on the end of his elastic thread . He bounced so much in the ten minutes we spent walking the craft fair , that the elastic broke . In a fit of frustration or bordom , Cora then removed the eyes . After a visit to the emergency Mom hospital , he is now residing on the halloween decorations . Cora still talks to him . Where squishy and oing loing came from , there are many more creatures to come . I am sure an imaginary freind will eventually take responsibility for some small disaster or another . I look forward to meeting them , and speaking to each one . After all , imagination got me 10 minutes of browsing at a craft fair I never would have had . Perhaps I should go catch an imaginary fly for Oing Loing . Children are very useful . They take care of some of the nuisances in life that annoy people . Cora is definitely my little helper . Just last night , when food was ready for those strange men who hang out in my basement talking about swords , ogres and skeletons , she performed a very important service . She stood at the top of the stairs and yelled down , over and over again , " Okay guys , time for dinner ! Please to the table ! Guys ! ! ! Daddy ? " Usually I end up doing that for a very long time before I can be heard over the havoc of battle . Having no attention span , she is also the perfect answer to sales people , and vendors . At the craft fair , I didn 't need and excuse to escape from a chatty junk wielder . I simply followed after my child , breaking off in the middle of sentences . Nobody felt badly , especially when they saw her tearing apart someone elses booth . My favorite though , was watching her totally discombobulate a sales person at a furniture store . This furniture store is well known for their pushy sales folks , but I had no problems . At one time , in the middle of trying to convince me that I should buy somthing more expensive , we turned and looked over at the bunk beds lined along a wall . I turned back to the saleswoman , then immediately back to the bunkbeds . Cora was on top of the tallest one . There was no ladder on the tallest one . My two year old climbed up to the top of another one , then somehow spanned a gap as big as herself and hauled herself up to the blocked bunk . Both I and the sales woman made it to the bunk bed in record time . Then with her guarding the entrance route , I convinced Cora to come to me . After that , the sales lady seemed to realize I was going to leave without buying if Cora could not be contained . All of a sudden , I had a very tolerant babysitter , who kept Cora occupied , brought her cookies , and talked to her , while I did whatever shopping I wanted to . Very useful these children . I still want to know how she got on top of the bunk beds . During the warmth of summer , and the season of potty training , I became a lax parent . I let Cora play in the back yard , minus her clothes , or run around the house minus the benefit of garments . She is still an infant in many ways , and a child in others . She does not understand nakedness as anything more than freedom of movement . Perhaps age is , in itself an Eden apple we all must bite . As fall approaches though , the temperatures fall . I started to worry about whether her body could produce enough warmth without some added layers . I began a campaign to coax her back into clothes , and I am happy to say it is working . Yesterday , Cora started out in full pants and shirt . In the morning , she lost her pants . She had to go potty , and then refused to put them back on . At lunch , she dirtied her shirt . As she pulled it off , I discovered the discarded bottoms in the babies room . For the afternoon she wore those , and no shirt . If my goal is a clothed child , I am halfway there . After putting the children to bed , my husband and I relaxed in the living room . Sighing as I sank into my arm chair I glanced over at him . He was absorbed in his computer . I smiled fondly . Cora profoundly affected everything we do . To provide her a place to sit , my husband was jammed against one arm of his chair , leaving six inches of open space on one side . This space existed for the sole purpose of allowing her to sit with him . I opened my mouth to tease him about still sitting to one side . Then I glanced down at my chair , and the six inches of fabric between my hip and the armrest . Will I ever sit without providing cuddle room ? I was stewing in a relaxing bath last night . Candle lit , and comfortable , I closed my eyes . Then I heard it . My phone was vibrating . I have my phone set on vibrate on purpose . Too many times , I lost the nap advantage because of inopportune ringing . The phone rattles on the counter though , so usually , a trained ear can pick up its mute physical pleas . Well , they are not totally mute , or I would not have heard it vibrating from the sanctity of my kid free bath . I sighed , got out of the tub and wrapped myself in the towel . I heard it continue , that rhythmic buzzing noise . My phone continued to ring . I glancing at the clock . It is eleven PM . Nobody calls me after ten . Wait ! I plugged my phone in to charge the battery . It should not vibrate . It should ring . The buzzing continued . It also should go to voice mail by now . What is that noise ? My congested baby snores . It sounds exactly like my cell phone vibrating . Our eldest is leaving the tantrum ism and failure to communicate age of two , and growing into three . That is not to say she is no longer a terrible , but rather that the terrible is softened with a hint of cognition . Having a conversation with a two year old is alot like talking to a wall . Having a conversation with a child a year older actually makes sense . Most humorously you learn about their concept of the world . You can tell that my daughter goes places with me . Her response to the question " Are you going trick or treating ? " was " I don 't know where that is . " The stunned silence was marvelous . " Who is that ? " A question she is often asked as part of Dad play routine , she answered efficiently with " That is my sister . Her name is Nyobi . She is four months old . " This should not be surprising to me . I answer these questions in front of her every day . It is , however , amusing . My favorite so far is the compliment stage . Cora has always been a queit child . She also has striking looks . Blond curly hair , bright blue eyes , dark lashes and a pale complexion get her lots of comments . People say , " What a beautiful child ! " or " Aren 't you beautiful ! " Before I can say anything , Cora will gallop away with a totally dis - interested " I know . " trailing behind her . I guess I shouldn 't be afraid of her getting a fat head any time soon . Unfortunately , conversation includes one of the most annoying and dreaded things children can do . Watching cora rifle through the DVD 's and VHS tapes , probably searching for the Lady and the Tramp movie I sent back to Netflix 's , I told her " You are not going to watch any TV right now . " Slowly , oh so slowly , her head turned toward me , her blue eyes shining with inhuman delight . She smiled a little not so innocent smile and asked me " Why ? " Then my MOM spoke out from behind me . " Because I said so ! " I 'll have to ask my Mom how she learned to throw her voice 45 miles at just the right moment . I certainly couldn 't have said that . Polite manners at the table are an important part of life . Teaching Cora manners should , therefor be easy . Yeah , right ! This is the child who will eat at any other time of the day , a million foods that are not appealing . If she 's sitting at the table , food is " Bleck " . Yesterday we decided to try one of those pasta dishes the pizza chain recently invented . It was a delicious looking concoction . We also tried some bruschetta . Cora tasted the bruschetta before we sat down , and swallowed a whole mouthful . After she sat down , she watched me put the bruschetta stuff on her plate , and said " Bleck " . Refusing to taste it . She also refused to taste the pasta . " Bleck " she said . That did not sit well with the parents . After pointing out that she would taste it before she made up her mind or else , an important rule of the table , and part of being polite , she put some in her mouth . Her face was screwed up in her attempts to prepare to eat something hideous . Then relaxed . " MMMM . " she said . " Cheese ! I like cheese ! " " Juice , please . " she said to Dad handing him her cup and picking up her fork . I am so proud of her for not making me carry through with the ominous and poorly defined " or else " , like she usually does . As we turned to our meals , I had a sudden thought . With a quick peak under the table I stared across at my husband . " She 's not wearing pants ! ! ! " I guess we have alot of manners to work on yet . To carve out some Cora and Mom time , I 've started taking her swimming in the Big Pool . This location is actually the high school and community swimming center , which consists of a racing / diving pool and a leisure pool . Cora loves going there . She won 't put her face under water , and won 't try and swim , but she will wade around the leisure pool areas up to her armpits and allow me to piggyback her all over the place . Cora will swim until her small body is one big goose bump and her eyes are bright red from the chlorine . I don 't think either set of grandparents are surprised by this . There are two things at the big pool which truely enrapture the small child ; a water slide and the teenagers . The water slide is the innocent fun . It allows small children to launch themselves down a small white plastic slope at top speed , and splash out into the swimming area . The teenagers are another part entirely . First are the teenage lifeguards . Cora could care less about them . She ignores them completely . She even tried to push ones legs out of her way once . Then there are the teenage swimmers . The girls she tries to grab hands with and make them play with her . Poor classy teenage girls in bikinis trying to flirt and have a good time do not appreciate this sort of attention . The boys she just thinks are too wild . Which is why , once we were out of the pool last swim day Cora stood with her arms crossed in a noisy changing room yelling in her most imperial tone at five six foot tall teenagers . I don 't think anyone of them heard her direct commands to " stop that " and " Go away ! " I did though , and I truely admired the fact that she wasn 't about to be intimidated by them . Maybe my original goal was to teach Cora to swim . Right now I 'm just enjoying spending time with my daughter and learning the mettle of her character . This one definately needs to learn self defense , because her flight sensors don 't work . We decided to go away overnight . Because we have romantic and far reaching dreams of sunning on the beaches of Aruba , eating udon at a street stall in Tokyo and drinking vodka in a pub near the Kremlin , we visited my parents . Its close , Cora loves it and they will let us get out of the house without either child . Besides that , they have baby supplies , from the food down to the diapers and crib . I once packed to go overseas for four months , and fit everything I would need into a carry on and a hiking back pack ( 40 lbs of kit total ) . You could NOT fit what we took into that same backpack . it was too much . It was one night only , and I was packing light . Welcome to adventure with children . I strongly believe that objects have personalities . I also believe that they have appetites . They must . It started with my washing machine and dryer . I would put baby socks into it , only to have them re - emerge a few weeks later from other locations in the house . One even popped out from under the dish washer smelling like freshly dried laundry . Then there is the red recliner which coughed up a silver railroad spike on my floor . This week I began to suspect a new object of having developed an appetite for a specific delicacy . Wednesday night , after her first middle of the night nursing ( she has two ) I could not find Nyobi 's pacifier in her crib . I grabbed a substitute one from the stand then settled her down . Thursday night the same thing happened . No big deal , I thought , its not as if I won 't find the pacifiers in the morning . At 3 AM this morning , I stumbled about the baby room , feeding her then setting up her current " lounge " style seat . The seat is essential for keeping the snot filled baby oriented correctly . I settled her in , smiled at her and then looked for her " Nuky " . I knew exactly where it was , because after two nights of losing them and having to think hard enough to find a replacement at 3 AM , I took the preventative measure . It was gone . I stripped the crib , but could not find it . Fortunately , I grabbed the one spare , and settled the baby . There is only one huge problem with this . That was the LAST spare . I went from having five nukys around the house , to having one . Also , when a plastic piece disappears from the crib in the room when you are looking at said piece of furniture and nobody else is awake , you worry a little about putting the baby back in said same furniture . This morning I searched her room crib and clothes . None of the three nukys I KNOW for certain were last seen in her crib are in her crib . They aren 't even around her crib . They are GONE ! ! ! That is what I have , a Nuky eating ravenous Crib . What happens if the crib really does eat nukies and doesn 't mind a side of baby ? Some weird cartoonPosted by I took both children shopping with me . Cora was an angel ( and she was wearing one too ) ! Nyobi was fine at first , but then she got uncomfortable . She started to cry , so I gave her the nookie and she relaxed . Ready to finish my task , I turned away . Then I heard a noise . It was a little noise , not a scream , not a pout , but a little tiny pacifier muted moan . " Nnnn . " It lasted only a second at most . I patted Nyobis cheek and turned back to Cora who seemed equally disturbed by that little noise . " Okay . " I said . " Now what do we need to get next ? " " Um , Fish ! ! " said Cora . " Nnnn . " said Nyobi . WE both turned to her in dismay . " Nnnn . " said Nyobi , her big eyes showing her despair that she was stuck in the carseat in a grocery store and not being held , and fed . There is no demand in her gaze , just lost hope and broken dreams . Its heart rending . " Nnnn . " said Nyobi . My heart pulled , my brain decided I was the worst parent ever . " Oooh , " a passing stranger said . " Look at the poor thing , with those big Blue eyes . " She cast a disparaging look my direction . " Nnnn . " said Nyobi . Cora grumbled to herself , and tried to pat her sisters cheek to calm her down . There are ways of dealing with a screaming baby . There are ways of soothing a crying baby . There is no good way to make that little noise go away . I know . Both Cora and I tried . We did manage to shorten the grocery list , sped up check out and got us home in record time . " Nnnn . " said Nyobi . That little noise will undo my calm yet . Nyobi needed a doctors visit on Thursday . She has a virus that won 't go away , and I was concerned it was something worse . Being used to our doctors offices methodology , I knew I had two choices , call in early in the morning and hope I got lucky , or take Nyobi in to the prompt care . Prompt care involves showing up , turing in some information and then waiting in the hopes someone can work you in . Cora is not good at waiting , and a Doctors offices are filled with that dreaded " W " word . I struck gold and got an appointment for 2 : 40PM . I showed up ten minutes before my appointment . While going through paperwork with the lady at the front desk , I glanced up . Coras blanket was still right where she had been , but she was across the lobby . In fact , she was inside the elevators and the doors were closing . After the nurse escorted a slightly wild eyed Mom , Cora , carrying the daiper bag , and the Nyobi into the examining room and took a weight ( 14 1 / 2 lbs ) we settled in to wait . Fortunately , I bourght smarties . Cora and I played a game called , if you try and anwer a question you get a smartie . It is fun . It is fun , because it lessens the number of time I have to NO behavior , exploration . She also emptied the diaper bag out onto the floor . Tried to put on her sisters pants , and stole a tongue depressor . Considering it took an hour and twenty minutes to do the appointment , Cora was very well behaved . Nyobi was an angel . She , of course , is too small to try and get into stuff . And fortunately , the elevator doors opened , before Cora got off the ground . It is a good thing that I have a six foot privacy fence around my back yard . My daughter , Cora does not appreciate the modesty bequeathed upon her by clothes . She would rather race naked through the yard than wear anything . Frequently , I send a well dressed two year old out to play only to turn around and find a mostly naked child eating all my tomatoes . As if outside nakedness were bad enough , Cora 's opinion of clothes extends inside . She will change outfits at least once during the day . I have no idea why . She is sensitive to any spills or dribbles . The first time a drop of milk touches her shirt , the darn thing comes off . Its hard to explain to guests why your two year old is stripping at the table . At the back of my mind is a discussion my mother and I had when she was first receiving solid foods . In an effort to save on laundry , I stripped her to her diaper when I spoon fed her . Dearest Nanny insisted that my daughter would think she was supposed to eat naked . Yes , Nanny , I remember this discussion . Yes , Nanny , you were right . Nakedness is spreading too . With baby smiles and coos , Nyobi convinces her big sister to help her undress . Its hard to imagine Cora coming up with that idea all by herself ( heavy sarcasm intended ) . Being an extra big helper , Cora is also always on the lookout for pee diapers . She checks them , and then removes . Being a two year old extra big helper , that is where her efforts end . Which is why I will walk into the living room to find a nudist colony meeting and four big INNOCENT bright blue eyes . Freedom ! ! ! ! It is cute . It is super cute . If I took a picture , child family services and the FBI would investigate me for something so vile I can barely stand to think of it . That is why I am so busy trying to figure out how to secure clothes and diapers on two children . I should feel fortunate that Cora knows the difference between baby poo and lotion . PS : In the middle of composing this article , I walked into the livingroom only to be met by four INNOCENT blue eyes . Last night at dinner , when Cora was acting up and my husband started to get perturbed , I made certain to inform him that our eldest was very good the whole day . He looks at me with surprised . Generally you can tell how bad or good Cora was by the state of the house work chores . A needy day leaves dishes in the sink , dirt on the floor and usually paper towels over cleaned up potty training messes that need one more spritz of deodorizer . " For a two year old . " I interjected . My standards of good and bad behavior have drastically changed since the new baby arrived and my business is doing better . " That is true . " My husband says , his eyes lighting up with glee . " The house isn 't on fire , and you didn 't call me from the emergency room all day long . " Obviously his standards of good and bad behavior have also adjusted . I need to go make certain that the lighters and matches are securely located and the fire extinguishers function . She was playing in the sink . I was nursing the baby . Playing in the sink is a less harmful activity than a lot of the things Cora tries to do when I am nursing the baby . For instance , she is not smearing feces anywhere , nor raiding the knife block , nor playing in her fathers tools . I decided not to check on the contents of the sink . I just did dishes so there should be nothing harmful in there . To my surprise , she entered the living room with her hands coated in red liquid , holding them out like a stigmatized witness of faith . I grabbed her wrists , gently and in the sudden calm spoke gently . " What were you playing with ? " I queried . She didn 't answer , but then she wasn 't screaming in pain either . I licked her finger , expecting the coppery taste of that life giving liquid . Instead I got super sweet fruit punch . Fruit Punch ? Note to self . Koolaid mix should not be left near the sink . Our garage door has a unique problem . Either that or we are just lazy home owners who do not repair it frequently enough . I went shopping in the rain one day this week , and came home with a car full of crying children and groceries . I pressed the garage door opener , and nothing happened . The bolt slipped out of the slide , again . I should really get a nut , secure it and glue it in place I thought . I tried the door next to the garage door . It was blockaded with the stroller . I checked on the children . They were still crying . Cora was howling in undisclosed grief . Nyobi was just hungry . The hungry baby cry puts my teeth on edge . I will do just about anything to get it to stop in a peaceful manner . No matter how much logic I throw at the reflex the hard wiring wins out . I grabbed my keys from the ignition . I stood up and closed the door in the rain . Great I thought . Now I had two screaming children in a cold car . The rain was sucking more warmth out of it , and my groceries were not refridgerated . I stormed through the drizzle to the front door . My hair was wet . My pants felt damp . I hate cold rains . I unlocked the front door and pushed it inward . The chain caught . Since our eldest daughter decided that running outside at weird times was appropriate behavior , I drop the security chain on the front door and leave it dropped . I never exit out the front of the house . I almost always go out through the garage . A big water drop fell off the eaves and slid down the back of my shirt . I glanced at the car . I could see Cora throwing her head back in a yowl of discomfort . When my husband got home that evening , I handed him a piece of trim , nails and chain still attached . It took me three good kicks to get the door to open all the way . Perhaps I shouldn 't send in my application to the swat team just yet . Children have their own language . Hopefully their parents speak it . Here are a couple of Coras favorite phrases and what they might mean . I 'm never certain . Upon seeing tony the tiger at the grocery store , with a larger lady close by . " Thunder cavth HO ! " Entering the house with something in her hands . " I catch a Butter . " Opens hands . " Oopth . " A grass hopper jumps onto the living room carpet . " Big Pool ? " Coras question whenever I start packing . She loved going swimming at the high school pool . To ward off anyone 's help , Cora yells " I do , I do ! " Either that or she gets married a lot . " Rabbit . " Coras name for any bunny , hair or similarly small furry creature . " Want to wear an Angel . " Coras name for a dress , because too many people told a curly hair blond child with blue eyes and her Dads porcelain complexion that she was an " angel in that dress . " " Cheese and Butter . " Coras two favorite dishes . Cheese is mac and cheese , or grilled cheese , or anything as long as cheese is a primary ingredient . Butter is butter bread . " Make Pop . " Not the soda version , the corn version . For some reason , she can 't seem to wrap her mind around the whole word . And my all time personal favorite . " Where babay ? " Poor bombay is hunted down frequently , but Nanny and I took forever to figure out she wanted the cat not her baby sister . For some reason , I just cannot make an appointment to interview a daycare lady on time . Daycare ladys do not like late interviewee 's . They seem to think that failure to be timely is a trait not easily overcome . Perhaps their great experience dealing with the crazy parents of other children is valid . To make sure I was not late for the newest daycare interview I sat down to feed the baby fourty minutes before the interview . Twenty minutes later baby was happy , sitting on my lap and I was helping the two year old into her panties and pants . Then the baby pooped . Ten minutes later , smelling of baby poop and pee , but with no obvious stains on my clothes , I thew the kids in the car and took off to find " 770 river bend drive off of M - 40 by Babylon . " as I was instructed . Evidently the ONLY name someone in this area can give a subdivision is one that starts with River . It must be in the township ordinences . After Riverview , Riverridge , Rivercourt and a fourth subdivision which is " River trailer park " to the locals , I gave up on locating the magic Riverbend subdivision . Instead I pulled into the realters and yanked both kids out of the car . I was 15 minutes late for the interview . It took the realtor 10 minutes to find the riverbend subdivision . It was ON babylon , not on M - 40 . It was five minutes away . It was raining when I arrived . According to this ladies instructions , I searched for the drive with the travel trailer parked in it . There was none . My heart fell in my chest . This was not happening . The drizzle increased . I chose a door with a back yard filled with play equiptment . I stood in the wet staring at the door , ringing the bell . Late and smelling like baby poop , I just wanted to go home . The daycare lady answered the door . " Did you find it Okay ? " she asked . If my daughter goes to daycare there , I 'll have to make sure I teach her orienteering first . She might get lost finding the bathroom if she uses this ladies directions . After taking Cora to the fair , I took the over tired small child to my parents house to finish out the weekend adventure . Actually , I just wanted a back up plan for any bad incidents . Somehow I have a nagging suspicion that the bad incidents were brought about by my back up plan . Its not something I want to overly contemplate . In usual form , my Gran , whom lives with my parents , or vice versa , wanted to discuss parenting tactics and child behavior . I love talking with her about it . I dislike the fact that my daughters demonstrate the worst possible behavior for her , and my tactics either fail or fall to the last ditch , worst strategy . Like " Go to Bed ! " At 8 : 30 , my daughter grabbed her blanket and wandered downstairs saying she was tired and wanted to go to bed . I felt like kissing her . This behavior is barely ever demonstrated without a parental prompt . I tucked her in to her sleeping bag on the floor , and stood up to leave . She got up too . For the next two hours , I stared at the door to our guest room . Every time I saw her , I would repeat , " Go to Bed ! " she would howl in tears . I would explain about how sleep was important , I told her a silly story about a chicken named poop ( hey , you try being inventive at 10 at night ) . Then I would go up stairs , chat with Gran for a couple of minutes . She would say astonished , " She 's still awake and its 10 at night ! Does she do this often ? " No , my daughter only does this when I 'm trying to show off what a good child she is , and Dad the Enforcer is no where to be found . If she did this all the time I would be wearing a straight jacket and in a padded cell . Either that or I would be an alcoholic . Fortunately Nanny and Gramps were soaking up the lovely sleepy cuddles of my youngest girl , so I was free to try and convince Cora to GO TO BED ! At 10 : 30PM , with my hand played out I fed Cora more food , and found the baby . I put her in the crib . I took my two year old 's sleeping bag and threw it onto the futon bed . I laid down next to her and told her to go to sleep . She gave me soft kissePosted by After feeding the baby at 3 AM , I crawled back into bed , listening to the end of hurricaine gustav rain down upon my roof . I was half asleep when something cold hit my face . Lieing with my face towards my husbands , I thought to myself , why is he spitting while he sleeps ? Another splat landed on my shoulder , it was cold . It was not spit . It was raining . I forgot to close the windows , I thought . No , the window was closed . All the windows were closed . What was wrong then ? Where was the water coming from ? It dripped again , and i heard it hit the sheets below . It was dripping out of the fan . I sat up , placed my hand on the spot . Here I thought my husband was spitting on me in contempt as I slept , but it was only the roof leaking , I felt so releived . Wait , the roof was leaking ? Maybe I should make coffee , I thought . This is not making sense . It is a good thing that my daughter Cora has taste . I do not . In fact , some days I doubt that I even have tact . My in - laws , at whose house I clearly demonstrated the inability to make funny quips and say humerous statements without offending someone will attest to that fact . I 'm still trying to make up for calling Jessies outfit un - matching . After being in graduate school and knowing the sort of schedule that one lives by while striving to do so many other things ( like cook , laundry , clean , spend time with family , breathe . . . . ) I just feel horrible for re - enforcing some sort of super standard on someone who is already exceeding spectacular . The worst part , is that I really am not fashionable . I wear alot of black , because you can 't mis - match black with other colors too frequently , and because black hides stains . I wear alot of t - shirts , because I can whip them off fast to feed the baby . Most of my outfits engender the statement " doesn 't think about her clothes and can 't lift the baby poop stains . " Cora on the other hand cares about clothes , and not just on herself . She cares about colors , and she doesn 't like it when Mom wears certain shirts . She made me put back the navy tank top , instead of wearing it with the black jeans . I am so lucky to have the little fashionista in my household . She even does experimental wardrobes with her dresses and shirts . " Angels " , her word for dresses , are in vogue right now , accompanied by a pair of shorts or even pants , fitting right into that long torso look I see in fashion magazines . When she begs for bermuda shorts I will start turning in the application to Parsons . If the clothes make the person , Coras 24 carat . I guess that puts me down there at gold plated . Oh well . From what her grandparents and great - grandparents tell me , there is no daughter alive who truely approves of the way their mother dresses . Besides , at least someone has taste , because I do not . I was desperate . My moral was low . Cora would pee and poop in the potty but she would not be a consistent potty user . On top of that , she thought that her bowel movements were gifts . In an effort to share the " love " she would poop in her hand and present them to Mom . You can only hold your disgust over such odiferous presents for so long before you feel like crying in frustration . Plus , my mind paniced . If I showed too much admiration , or lack of disappointment , she might decide to do that to a guest . I 'm sure Emily Post does not have a chapter on " How to deal with guests reations to childs gift of escrement . " Maybe Martha Stewart has some advice . . . Now that you understand exactly how low my moral was , let me tell you the brilliant solution . First , Cora learned how to finish the process . She helped me clean up every poop and pee mess . This is part of the " going pee and poop " scenario . If you miss , you clean ( or at least help ) . Second , I pulled out a contemporary of Santa Claus , the Easter Bunny ( no chocolate egg jokes here ) , the Tooth Fairy , and the birthday bird . Perhaps you have heard of . . . . . . the POTTY FAIRY ! Said fairy , in an effort to reward the self control of the learning " big kid " , leaves little gifts for children who go the whole day without any accidents . They leave this gift on the closed toilet seat in the morning , like the tooth fairy leaves money under your pillow . How long the potty fairy leaves gifts is still up for debate . I am hoping the answer is , as long as necessary . Its nice to bring magic into my childs life . Yes . Bribery works on small children . It works really well . Best of all , I no longer recieve little " chocolate " gifts . My daughter eats pickling cucumbers , tomatoes off my plants and robs my fridge of yogurt and fruit . I keep a stock of chocolate bars in the fridge . My husband diets by eating less and working out . I diet by not eating the leftovers on my daughters plate after meals . I will not cancel cable , because it keeps me from going crazy when nursing during the day . Unfortunately , Cora watches it with me . Here is irony at its finest . The greatest verbal supporter of a healthy lifestyle is also the one who sabotages her own chances at success the most . I need to get with it . Nanny and I took the two girls to a nice restaurant for lunch . I figured we would be safe . They have a beautiful outdoor patio , and a child 's play area that I 'm familiar with . It was towards the end of lunch that the true nature of my daughter emerged . First , she waved at me , half hanging out the second story of the play house . courtesy of some stronger child , a bench moved under the window opening . I ran like a tripping lunatic to the play house , only for her to greet me grinning and safe at the bottom of the steps . Second , she decided she needed to take off her milk spotted shirt . A restrained conversation later , she was still dressed . A penny for the fountain distracted her . Did I say fountain ? When I suggested this particular location for lunch , I forgot that it had a working outdoor fountain . Worse , the fountains lowest pond was within easy reach of a two year old . That would explain why , within moments of using up her penny she was fishing for others and splashing in the water . That wasn 't the problem . The problem was when she decided to wash her hair . At least I have a good argument for my super packed diaper bag with extra absorbent blankets / towels . You need them for those occasional bath incidents in strange fountains in front of ( thankfully understanding ) patrons . That , and Its a marvelous way to get and pay your check quickly so you can leave . Now that my daughter is talking about letters , and pointing to words asking what they are , I decided this was what people call child lead education . I bought some teaching aids to introduce her to the alphabet , mixed them up with some of the stuff around the house , and wrote up a schedule of classes ( soon to be ignored ) . Better yet , I took cora with me , so that it was already a fun time for her to spend with Mom . I 'm not trying to teach my child to be brilliant , or even make her learn the alphabet . I do not have any goals with her becoming a doctor at age 12 . That can at times be abusive to the child . What I 'm trying to accomplish , is to burn some extra calories through brain exercise . Learning IS an adventure . Maybe if she explores letters she will leave my bathroom cabinet alone . I hung my " dive into the alphabet " ( cute huh ? ) poster on our fridge , with the first letters already ensconced on their little fishy plaques . Cora was thrilled with the creative process . She likes the fishes . She wanted to hang more . We went over the letters , and made their noises , until her mind flitted elsewhere . When trying to teach a two year old , one of the perceptions you have to have is when they are done . She happily left the poster alone until dad and his friends emerged from the basement . Then she pulled each one over to show it off , and pointed out the fishes . What made me proud was when she pointed to one fish in particular and said " Aye " correctly labeling the letter on it . One letter down , 25 to go . The best part is , nobody can say I 'm crazy for trying to teach a two year old the alphabet . The people who might have criticized were given a sterling lesson in success . Now if only I can get Cora to poop in the potty . Cora , whom I think is the reincarnated soul of that Evil Knievel , loves " rides " . This involves putting her in a laundry basket , and then swinging it like a single bucket theme park creation , powered by the parent . The faster , wilder , crazier or more disorienting you spin , the louder she giggles . I folded laundry this morning . I was sitting in the chair , my feet surrounded by piles of neatly folded clothes when Cora plunked herself down in the laundry basket next to me . " I need ride . " she said . I looked at her . " I need ride . " She repeated , then when I didn 't move , " Please . " " Okay , " I said , " Mom just needs to get her butt in gear . " I sipped some coffee , thinking that rides were a lot more fun before Cora passed the 25 lb mark . It was considerably harder to safely swing around 30 lbs of child . However , my daughter is no dumb bunny . She stood up , not giving up her laundry basket location , leaned over and in an amazed voice goes " WOAH ! " slapping my still well padded abdomen . " You are big ! " she enunciated beautifully . She then proceeded to make the left over baby fat jiggle in the most un - appealing way , pulling up my shirt to give a skin view . She got laundry basket rides till my arms felt like falling off . We went to nannys for the weekend . Nannys with tons of relatives is great for me . My constant vigil can be foisted off in parts on the other family members . Unfortunately it also means that the weekend chores get compressed into Friday and Monday . That would explain why , in the midst of trying to consume coffee , do laundry , vacume the living room , and deal with whatever landed on the desk of my secret alter ego ( sexy working woman ) , Cora walked out into the hallway without pants on , rubbing something into her hair . I know what you are thinking . It wasn 't ( Thank GOD ) lotion , but baby soap . She knew it too , because as she massaged it in , she said " take bath " . The fact that her panties were missing due to a potty training accident assured that she got one immediately . Cora loves baths . She hates cold water poured on her head . With dishes and laundry , the bathwater for the impromptu fill started luke warm . I got ready to rinse her hair . I put the baby down . The baby screamed . I began to rinse . She tried to stand up . I stopped her . She struggled , and started crying . I gave her a hug to sooth her . I was officially soaked . I stripped off my shirt and pants , explaining to her why I must do this to her . I poured . She sprang up , desperate to escape the cold torture chamber . She was sobbing . Her feet slipped , and I caught her , my grip communicating fear , anger and frustration . I yelled at her for standing in the tub . The baby 's voice rose to an almost brittle octave . Coras sobs began to make her hyperventilate , and there was still soap in her hair . I poured , forced her down again , poured again . There was still soap in her hair , but I was done . I wrapped the only dry towel around a goose bump covered sobbing two year old , ignoring my own dampness . I picked her up and tossed her on her bed . I retrieved a screaming infant , soaking her . She screamed harder . My phone rang . It was for my sexy alter ego . I didn 't answer it . Voice mail is infinitely better than pretending to be important with two screaming children in the background . Posted by After a couple of nights at Nanny 's house , my children have been labeled the perfect guests within their age groups . Of course , the fact that they were the only guests under six at the weekend party ( happy 85th Gran ) probably impacted their behavior . I , too , am enamored with their sterling behavior . My husband was impressed as well . Our gratitude and amazement differs greatly from that expressed by our relatives and other guests . Yes , it is true that the two year old didn 't scream during meals , or at least not in a way you could hear , given the volume control problem our family discussions seem to possess . Its also true that she didn 't have any nuclear melt downs , slept fairly well , played nicely most of the time , and ate what was set before her . A lot of this has to do with the efforts that Nanny made to make sure she had child friendly food , the fact that she had pleanty of adults to carry her , fetch for her , or beat on with helium balloons . Actually , Coras melt downs are reserved for instances when Mom is in charge and frazzled by life . Our infant , Nyobi , is just past the fragile stage . She 's not seriously teething yet , and she just started sleeping in longer segments . Her admired behavior was just luck of the age , and the fact that she LOVES being held . She too was passed around from relative to relative out of love rather than necessity . One of the benefits of breast feeding is that she arrives back at Mom every few hours . This behavior did NOT impress my husband and I . What did impress us was her total control of bodily function . My one brother and his wife are working on starting a family . They complained briefly that its mostly just the " working " part not the actual starting . I wish we had time for the " working " part . I though , before the weekend , " What a perfect chance for them to learn how to change diapers , and bathe the little suckers . " How many of those first panicked days of infant care did I wish I had tried it on someone else 's first ? In one of those impossible feats of parental thwarting change , NPosted by As a parent of an infant , you spend much time observing them . Aside from feeding them and cleaning up their poop , there isn 't much else you can do with an infant . The American Society of Pediatrics frowns on turning them into human projectiles and making them perform household chores . Actually , so do the child human services people and the police . Nyobi and I observe each other the most when there is no sun . Babys do this . This is not related to manipulation of my genetic material when i became a blood sucking lawyer . I call this snoogling . Its a combination between snuggling and schmoozing ones parents . Let me tell you about one particularly long snoogling session to explain how these two opposite states can be combined . First , Nyobi cries . She is not poopy , hungry or cold . She just wants to be held . The unwitting parent ( thats me ! ) picks her up . She whimpers a little , she grabs a fistful of my shirt in a white knuckled grip . She rests her head against my shoulder blade , her ear curled into my chest and relaxes against me in complete trust . Her other hand creeps up to the side of her head , where she calmly begins to grasp handfuls of her fuzzy hair and pet it . Her head pops off my chest to gaze at me in astonishment . She begins to suck meditatively at the nuky and lowers her head back to my chest . I rock her . We are involved solely in the physical being of each other . We are snuggling . Time passes and her breathing becomes heavier , and the nuky slides down my chest , abandoned . I lean her back to stand up and put her in the crib . She smiles up at me . She makes little tongue motions , and grabs my shirt again . After a few more minutes of sunny angelic happiness I stand up . She smacks her lips and gives a whimper , and her eyes fill with fear . I give her the nuky again , but this is not what she desires . She crabs slightly , and I sit back down . She rests her head against my shoulder , and slowly the whimpering subsides . I relax , she relaxes against me in complete trust . The nuky falls out , but I 'm comfortable . The littlePosted by Coras obsession with lotion did not end with the torture of the cat , nor the over - application of multiple actual skin care products . In fact , she is fascinated by all things smear able . If there is one sentence I utter more as a parent than any other , its " No , Cora thats not lotion , thats ________ . " Since the Vaseline , there has been butter , various soaps ( in different bottles ) , spray cleaners , tooth paste , mayo , wasabi paste , craft paint , sunscreen , neosporin ointment , acne treatment , makeup foundation , and diaper cream . If it comes in a tube , bottle or jar , Cora defaults to " lotion " . Aside from discovering that bathing your child in dawn liquid dish detergent will remove a liberal layer of butter , mayo and wasabi paste , and that mint smelling two year olds aren 't nearly as disgusting as one that smells like acrylic paint , I 'm happy to say the worst catastrophes were diverted . We taught her quickly and efficiently that no lotion was edible . Thank God that baby soap doesn 't taste that marvelous by the mouthful . Today was another lotion disaster . In my infinite parenting wisdom , I childproof as the child grows . That means that when Cora started accessing my shampoo and soaps , I moved them to a shower caddy that hangs off the shower head . ( " Look mommy ! Lotion ! " " No Cora that is Mommys shampoo , and you are not supposed to spread that all over the toilet seat ! " ) I am assuming that Cora learned how to climb onto and balance on the edge of the bath tub . She could now get behind the shower curtain , by the business end . There she could grab the bath poof that hangs off the bottom of the shower caddy , and use it to bang the shower caddy against the wall . Stuff falls off . Specifically , my razor , and a little jar I have that contains sea salt scrub . For those of you who are not familiar with what sea salt scrub is , its a mixture of scented oils and sugar and salt crystals . You scrub rough skin with it , and the sugar and salt scrape off dead cells and then dissolve . The oil you rinse most of off , but fills the bath with an elegaPosted by This morning I opened the fridge and gazed inside at the blurry fuzzy mess . It was my first challenge of the day , and so far I was not feeling very up to it . Wait ! I hadn 't had any coffee yet . That explained a lot . I poured a cup of coffee added a smidgen of creamer , and a teaspoon of sugar . I stared at it for five seconds , then slammed half of it . The contents of the fridge now were distinguishable as separate grocery items . Now maybe I could concoct a nutritious breakfast from the formerly blurry innards . This was indeed a challenge . Given recent scientific studies , carbohydrates are bad for you . I 'm also lactose intolerant , and I " m cooking for a two year old , which means basically everything i make will fail in some way . To compensate , I 've been trying to invent new breakfast greats , especially those not labeled " kids breakfast cereal " or " sugar high in a convenient and kid friendly package . " We eat a lot of eggs and fruit . Today , my fridge could not cough up a yogurt ( my daughters favorite entree ) to save its life . Its a good thing I " m not in the habit of killing fridges . Instead I found eggs , 2 % milk fat cheese ( acceptable healthy cheese if consumed in proper serving sizes ) , and a baked potato . The potato was small enough to provide the right amount of carbs , even though it wasn 't the best whole grain variety . I chopped the potato into home fries , sauteed them in margarine , then cooked the eggs over medium and topped them with half a slice of cheese each . I put the other half of a cheese slice on my daughters potatoes and voila , protein with fat the stayed on the plate , and potatoes . I would consume ultra processed one serving of dairy , with a meal . This is about all my system can tolerate . Then I added some orange drink for my daughter . Healthy nutritious and delicious , the eggs and fries even looked inviting with their cheery yellow cheese . We sat down to eat . Cora finished her potatoes , she ate one half of the cheese on the egg , and then she proceeded to dip her fork into the center of the egg and lick off Posted by Life as a full time stay at home Mom makes any women appreciate the joy of leaving the house and kids for eight hours a day . However , I usually have more exciting stories to tell at the ( fabulous ) evening meal . If I don 't , my husband cooks . I decided to be a stay at home Mom two years ago . It is hard to imagine doing anything more frustrating , tedious , obnoxious , and truly rewarding . I love ( literally ) the people I work with . Best yet , there is NO commute time , just " boot " time , as my husband refers to the half hour it takes for the coffee to enter and sleep to exit my system .
|
My match with Jamie seemed to take a lot out of me as I floundered against Kris in the 3 / 4 match , losing badly . Overall though , Saskatchewan did very well in the Men 's side of the competition , capturing 5 out of the top 8 positions ( Kris 3rd , Me 4th , Nate 5th , Lee 7th and James 8th ) . If this tournament taught me anything ( other than the fact that Jamie is still quite a bit lighter than I am ) it 's that I definitely have seen some detraining as a result of being on the road for the better part of 2 months . Hitting the gym hard will definitely be high on the priority list after I get back and over the holidays so hopefully I can bounce back and improve on this result at the February selection event in Regina . For now though , I 'm on the tail end of my journey , as I head back to Mexico on Saturday to relax with friends and family before going back to Saskatoon for the holidays on December 12th . After having been away from home for 2 months it will definitely feel good to be home . If anything really exciting happens in Vallarta I 'll make sure to update but don 't hold your breath ; ) Cheers for now . Tim UPDATE : James had his wrist looked at upon arriving home and has a followup appointment scheduled for tomorrow ( thursday ) which should hopefully see him with a new waterproof cast on for the trip down south . With any luck this will be the case and he will still be able to enjoy the pool / ocean while in Mexico . My thoughts and prayers are with him and I hope yours are too . So day 2 of the selection event again went pretty much according to the seedings . The quarter finals started in the morning and on the mens side all top 4 seeds advanced . Mike Green ( 1 ) beat Francis Guillemette ( 9 ) in two easy games . Vincent Gagnon 's ( 2 ) victory over Lee Connell ( 7 ) was more contested but was also a 2 game affair . Kris Odegard ( 3 ) needed a tiebreaker to beat Nathaniel Husulak ( 6 ) but after 2 close games the tiebreaker was much less competitive as Kris seemed to turn it on and Nate was just a bit off . My own brotherly battle was also very tight through 2 games , with me ( 4 ) allowing James ( 5 ) to survive 3 game points and capitalize on his first to take the first game 18 - 16 . I was more aggressive on the serve return in the second game which seemed to swing things to my advantage . I secured a small lead by the middle of the game and held onto it to take the second 15 - 9 . I 'm not sure if he was discouraged by the second game , tired , or if something else was going on with Jamie but I tried to come out strong at the beginning of the tiebreaker and he seemed to have no answer . I quickly jumped to a 5 - 0 lead and after a few changes of serve extended it to 9 - 1 . He then got the serve back and scored his second point of the tiebreaker . Unfortunately that 's when things went sideways . . . I should preface this next part by saying that I 've seen Jamie come back from large deficits in matches before . He 's done it not only against me but against many other opponents numerous times in all levels of tournament . In fact , in his round of 16 match against Eric Desrochers ( at THIS tournament ) he was down 11 - 1 in the second game before making a roaring comeback to win the game and the match . The reason I point this out should be obvious at this point ; I didn 't want to face the same fate and was singularly focused on maintaining my level of play and my intensity . I didn 't want to let off the gas after having worked for such a big lead . After scoring his second point , I was able to side Jamie out . This led to one of the longer rallies of the match . I left a backhand pass off the back wall and Jamie answered with a pass of his own ; a better one . Scrambling , I turned towards the back left corner and pushed off hard as I could , sprinting towards the balls eventual resting place . Unfortunately before I realized what was happening I collided with something that stood in my path towards the retrieval of Jamie 's pass ; Jamie himself . I 've never played contact sports so the sensation was fairly new to me , and it happened so fast that I 'm not sure I can accurately describe it . Before I knew it I had bounced back off of him to land squarely on my hind parts a few feet from where I had been running just a fraction of a second before . He , unfortunately , didn 't fare so well . As he was in the process of moving out of the way , he didn 't have a strong base as I did . He flew backwards and hit the floor sideways , sliding all the way into the back wall . He landed awkwardly on his left hand , which was out to break his fall , and immediately clutched it to his body . I apologized immediately for running into him but the moment the words left my mouth I realized they weren 't close to enough . . . He of course took an injury timeout to ice and tape his injured wrist before returning to the court . He wasn 't the same though , and after an injury like that nobody really is . I finished off the game , winning the match and he immediately went to the hospital to get it checked out . He was left with a fractured radius , which they temporarily casted , and he defaulted out of the tournament . I hope his poor result in this tournament is the only other negative consequence he faces because of me , as I feel badly enough for him already . Even though it was an accident , the repercussions of it cause an intense and deep sense of guilt . I hope Jamie knows how sorry I am that this happened and of course that I never meant to run into him at all , let alone injure him through a collision . There was one upset on the womens side as Christine Richardson ( 5 ) upset Brandi Jacobsen - Prentice ( 4 ) in the quarterfinals . This is a great result for Christine as this will be her first semifinal appearance at a selection event and her first tournament victory over Brandi . I 'm sure of course , that Brandi is unhappy with the result , but will have a chance at revenge as the draw seedings will be the same at the next selection event in Regina on Feb 3 - 5 . The semifinals followed later in the day and all went according to the seedings . Jen Saunders ( 1 ) beat Christine ( 5 ) and Frederique Lambert ( 2 ) defeated her elder compatriot Josee Grand - Maitre ( 3 ) to make it into the finals . Vincent Gagnon ( 2 ) defeated Kris Odegard ( 3 ) in a thrilling tiebreaker . Well , the first 2 games were thrilling . The tiebreaker was fairly one - sided which is unfortunate as the match had been hotly contested and of very high quality until that point . The reigning Canadian champ beat me soundly in the other semifinal . I played fairly well early on in the first game , actually garnering myself a lead at 7 - 4 . Unfortunately that 's when the photon cannon started working . . . Up until that point Mike had hit some good serves but it seemed to instantly increase in both speed and angle . He quickly overtook me and closed out the first game 15 - 7 . More of the same in the beginning of the second spelled the end for me as he jumped out to an early 8 - 3 lead . While I had several chances over the next group of rallies I couldn 't convert and he would build on his lead and eventually close out the game 15 - 3 . The finals are tomorrow and then more visiting with family before heading to Mexico again for some rest and relaxation ! This is definitely a tradition for kicking off the holidays I hope I can keep alive . Until next time . Perhaps surprisingly , none of the other 16s matches went to a tiebreaker , which I probably would have lost money on . Lee Connell ( 7 ) beat Coby Iwasaa ( 10 ) in 2 fairly easy games . Credit to Lee , who played solid throughout , keeping his intensity and focus steady , which everyone knows can sometimes be an issue for him . He simply wouldn 't let Coby get into the match and moves on . The other big matchup for me was James Landeryou ( 5 ) vs Eric Desrochers ( 12 ) . Eric , who 's ranking probably doesn 't reflect his playing ability , has played and trained much more consistently ( I 've been told ) in preparation for this season and watching him play tonight certainly was indicative of that . After a nail - bitingly close first game ( which Jamie took 16 - 14 ) , the second saw Eric roar out to a huge 10 - 2 lead . Jamie took a time out and switched the serve to a lob Z to the left ( backhand ) side . Eric , having a large headstart in the game , chose to play defensively and stay back to hit ceiling balls on the serve return . This allowed James to get back into the game and chip away slowly . Personally , I 'm not sure why after the first few points he gave up Eric didn 't choose to play more aggressively but after a few changes of serve Jamie continued to score points and eventually levelled the match at 11 - 11 . Now it was time for Eric to take a timeout . Unfortunately it didn 't change his strategy afterwards and Jamie eventually scored 4 more points to take the game and the match . This means that there is a sibling matchup in the quarterfinals of a selection event ! I 'm not sure if this has happened before but I think it 's pretty cool . Obviously I 'm not psyched to play my own brother in the draw but the silver lining is one of us will definitely be in the semis tomorrow afternoon ! I 'm looking forward to the match , and the opportunity . Hopefully it will be a good match and I will play well . The other matchups include Mike Green ( 1 ) vs Francis Guillemette ( 9 ) , Kris Odegard ( 3 ) vs Nathaniel Husulak ( 6 ) , and Vincent Gagnon ( 2 ) vs Lee Connell ( 7 ) . There will definitely be some good matches but for now I 'm signing off as it will be an early morning for me ! So I think by this point I 'm throwing in the towel on daily updates and detailed day by day reports of what 's going on in my life . Even as deficient of debauchery as my life is it 's still difficult to find time to write multiple page posts using the literary prowess to which anyone who follows this blog is accustomed . That being said , I 'll give a quick update on what I 've been up to and a lead in to what is happening next . I have spent the last 8 days in Toronto , staying with my Grandmother and visiting with other family I have in the city . It 's been completely wonderful . Hitting the tennis ball or working out in the mornings , making the trek out to Oakville to hit the racquetball in the afternoons , and returning in the evenings to wonderful dinners and warm , wine - enabled conversations foraying into the twilight hours . Hopefully my attitude won 't be too snobby upon my return to a more " normal " existence . . . I am looking forward to the upcoming national team selection event , and being able to spend more time with my family afterwards before heading to Puerto Vallarta , Mexico for some RnR : ) Considering some of the very strong players in the mens draw whose rankings are deflated due to lack of play , I feel like I have a pretty solid draw . It looks as if I will get Kurtis Cullen , a youngster from Manitoba in the 16 's and then the winner of what could be the best round of 16 match in the draw : Eric Desrochers vs . James Landeryou . These two played several times throughout juniors , with Eric winning the majority of those matches but the most recent head to head saw James take the victory . Given , that victory was a couple of seasons ago , but you can 't ignore the most recent result when trying to ascertain the most probable outcome . By all accounts , both players have been training hard this season and are playing well so I ( and many others I 'm sure ) are looking forward to that match in particular . For the record though , my money 's on lil bro ; ) Other early round matches to watch are Pedro Castro ( 8 ) vs . Francis Guillemette ( 9 ) , Nathaniel Husulak ( 6 ) vs . Barret Husulak ( 11 ) and Lee Connell ( 7 ) vs . Coby Iwasaa ( 10 ) . Looking forward to some great racquetball this weekend : ) Stay tuned ! I realize that this blog has become horribly out of date so in an effort to catch up I 'm going to try and take a highlight reel approach to the last week and sum it up in the next post or 2 . Let 's hope my proclivity towards protracted paragraphs can be put aside . We awoke at 6am to get ready to leave for Zihuatanejo . Our plan was to cab to the bus station where there was a bus leaving for our destination at 7am . We arrived at 640am in high spirits , thinking there would be plenty of time to catch our bus . Arriving in Zihuatanejo ! Sadly the fates weren 't with us that day as the lines were quite lengthy and by the time we were able to get to the front of one , the 7am bus had only 1 seat left on it . Luckily for us there was another bus leaving only a couple of hours later so we bought the tickets and decided to get some food . The time went by fairly quickly and we boarded the bus just before 9am . Hotel Gaby Since we were both quite tired the ride itself was rather uneventful as we simply took turns watching movies , sleeping and eating . The bus made several stops along the way , so we arrived just before 530pm . There was no shortage of cabs out front of the bus terminal so Kaitlyn approached one and asked if he knew of a decent hotel located near the central part of town or the beach that was reasonably priced . Taxis were much cheaper in this part of mexico so she hardly haggled at all and before I knew what was happening we were in the cab and on our way into town . We arrived at Hotel Gaby about 15 minutes later and it was a dive ! Bedroom Don 't get me wrong it had everything you really needed ( bed , bathroom , sink , and even a TV ! ) but it was very small , dirty and quite over priced at $ 30 per day . The only silver lining was that it also had A / C which in this part of mexico is like finding gold in your shoe . We were somewhat prepared for the reality that this would be the kind of place we 'd stay in for a day or 2 while looking for a more permanent residence ( with Kaitlyn staying til December it made sense to try and find something for the month ) though so we weren 't that pessimistic . Bathroom The next day we talked to a taxi driver about where to inquire regarding a type of rental residence that would suit our needs . He knew where the real estate office was in Ixtapa and said he would take us there . The real estate office did not disappoint . They showed us pictures of 3 different places that were slightly below , slightly above and right at our budget . Of course we ended up falling in love with the place that was over the budget but frankly when you see the pictures you will understand . Our new place ! Regularly the place listed for 22 , 000 pesos per month but because the owner wanted it rented the price had been slashed to 12 , 000 ( or about $ 1000 ) . Kaitlyn had wanted to spend around $ 600 - 700 before looking but now that something this awesome was on the table she wanted it . I told her they wanted it rented so they wouldn 't mind going down a bit more so I suggested we counter at 10 and take 11 . The agent made a call to the owner who agreed to 10 , 000 plus the electricity which is usually 600 - 800 pesos per month . We agreed and were ecstatic . Breakfast on the balcony We had a place to stay and it was beautiful ! We made plans to come back in the morning and sign the rental agreement , pay , and move in . The place is right on the beach in Ixtapa . The layout is much like a resort hotel except that the units are condominiums , not hotel rooms so they have been purchased and then subsequently rented . Our room has a beautiful balcony with a gorgeous ocean view ; king sized bed and attached bathroom , kitchen , dining room and living room . It 's not huge by any means but compared our previous accommodations it was the lap of luxury . I look forward to blogging about our activities in Ixtapa . Alright so the closing ceremonies went down tonight and while I was pretty tired from a somewhat less than restful sleep last night they did not disappoint . I slept at Kaitlyn 's host family 's house , got up and had some breakfast and chilled with Kaitlyn for a bit . She was pretty disappointed that she couldn 't come ( there were no tickets left for anything by that point ) so I stayed longer than I probably should have but still headed to the village with lots of time before the walk was to begin . I stopped at the cafeteria once I got into the village because it had been awhile since breakfast and I was quite hungry . There I caught up with Kris and Mike who had been in Puerto Vallarta for a few days with two of the Mexican team members for some rest and relaxation on the beach before heading home . They had also come back that afternoon to catch the closing ceremonies in the evening before jumping on their respective flights home the next morning . We caught up a bit while we ate and they regaled me with stories of their adventures in PV containing no shortage of cervezcas , beaches and bars . They without a doubt had a fantastic time on the coast . After we had finished eating , we headed back to the room to chill for a bit before the walk began . The girls had all headed home on the 26th after the racquetball portion of the games had ended so we lay out there as the main room where their beds were located was much cooler than ours . Everyone took their turn showering , packing and getting ready before time finally came to head down . The ceremonies were scheduled to begin at 8pm but we were told to be downstairs at 645pm , presumably because of the way time works in Mexico ( everyone always seems to be late , yet another reason for me to live here - I would fit right in ) . Punctual north Americans that we are , we ended up waiting around for all the other teams to get ready and funnel down to the parking area between buildings before beginning to march around 715 . The march itself was pretty much the same as the opening ceremonies . All the athletes gathered in the parking lot in one large group before heading out on a winding path towards the stadium . We trekked along , waving and smiling to people lined up at the fences along the path , some giving pins or other memorabilia which really made the spectators go nuts . We arrived at the back of the stadium and waited again to enter . It all felt very familiar but at the same time exciting . Eight o ' clock hit and still no signal to enter . At five minutes after though , huge fireworks lit up the sky outside the stadium and we knew it wouldn 't be long . Sure enough , a few minutes later we began marching in . The one stark difference between the opening and closing ceremonies was that the athlete entrance at the opening was very organized . Each country would enter , one at a time , the flag bearer in front and everyone following in tight formation behind him or her . At closing , though we still entered with our respective country , the athletes paraded in as one large group . There were no breaks between countries , to symbolize unity of spirit , which I think it accomplished . Anyway we walked in , did a lap , then took our seats foWalking into the stadium The closing ceremonies began with words from the political and sport dignitaries of the local governments and organizing committee and while the speeches were uplifting , they were longer than the opening ceremonies ( or at least they felt that way ) and thus ended up lulling me into somewhat of a listless mood for the rest of the evening . Things picked up after the speeches though as they did a flag ceremony where they took down the Pan American flag to signal the end of the games , showed a tribute video to the volunteers of the games and finished with a video montage from the organizing committee for the Toronto 2015 Pan Am Games . Flag ceremony After the presentations came the first of several musical numbers throughout the evening . The first band was a Mexican band called Camila . They had some good tunes but I didn 't recognize any of them which turned into the theme of the night for me . I 'm sure these musicians are very talented and popular in their latin circles but if you don 't know the music and don 't understand any of the lyrics it makes it difficult to get into a performance . They did a duet with Colbie Caillat near the end which kind of excited me but unfortunately it was also in Spanish so I was yet again relegated to confusion . There were a few interludes of characters in strange costumes that would parade around the inner circle of the stadium . Presumably these costumed performers had some significance to the games or to Mexican culture but whatever the metaphor was I didn 't know . The costumes were pretty cool though . Ricky Martin ! The highlight of the night ( if you can believe it ) was Ricky Martin 's performance . Expectedly , most of the numbers he performed were in Spanish to appeal to the overwhelming majority of Latin American people attending the ceremonies , but he did perform his hit single " La Vida Loca " ( The Crazy Life ) in English and even threw in a few shout outs to the Guadalajara audience within the song . It was actually very well done and they seemed to have saved a substantial amount of their firework reserves to cap off the performance that made it seem like a sunny day Following Ricky 's hip - swinging performance , we walked straight back to the dorm . The Canadian delegation had Dominos deliver pizzas to the building and we were all starving as we hadn 't eaten in over 6 hours . After a few slices we were feeling much better and retired to our room . Everyone took turns showering and packing up their stuff as I was heading to Lilia 's place so Kaitlyn and I could catch a bus in the morning and everyone else was taking a bus to the airport very early ( or very late depending on how you want to look at it ) . I said my goodbyes once I was all packed up and headed out . Upon arriving at Lilia 's Kaitlyn and I went over the plan for the morning . Cab at 615am , bus station by 645am , leave on the bus by 7 and hopefully catch up on sleep during that time ! We packed up what we were planning to bring with us and got to bed , excited for the next portion of our trip . I 'll update you on how that went in the next couple of days . So I realize that it 's been over a week since my last post . Hopefully friends and family are still reading along even though the consistency of my posting leaves a lot to be desired and with any luck those interested in the racquetball portion of things are hoping for a post on the closing ceremonies . Don 't worry I will totally be doing one ! Just not yet . . . This post concerns our day trip to Tequila , Mexico . For those curious Tequila is the birthplace of the alcoholic spirit made from the blue agave plant in the area hence the name tequila ! Like champagne , only agave spirits made in this specific region of Mexico can be called " tequila " all others ( of which there really aren 't that many ) are called mezcal . But enough with the history lesson and onto the libation liberation ! We did a tour of the Herradura Tequila Hacienda as they had a booth in the international zone of the Pan American Village and were doing a promotion for those participating in the games ( and their friends of course ! ) whereby the normal tour , done from a train called the Tequila Express , would be performed by bus instead and cost half the price . Kaitlyn had never done it and this was my first time in the region so I was definitely in . Alana and Isaac also decided to join since we had mentioned our interest in the experience and they couldn 't say no . On the bus ! Because of the location of the booth I had to purchase the tickets in advance and we picked up the 3 banditos ( Kaitlyn , Alana and Isaac ) at the security checkpoint located on the perimeter of the village grounds . They were easy to spot , mostly because no one else was there except for federal police , but also because they were performing their best Mexican jumping bean imitations as we pulled up . Clearly they were not excited at all about this trip ; ) Once they got on the bus we exchanged pleasantries , sat down and things got chill . We hadn 't been served any booze yet and they ride to Tequila would take about an hour . While this wasn 't the greatest way to begin an exciting day of spirit - based discovery ( the alcohol , not the ethereal essence ) we were all pretty excited about how the day would unfold so we remained optimistic . The banditos ready to rock ! Upon our arrival at the Hacienda we unboarded the bus and were greeted by our tour guide whose name I forget now ( that serves me right for leaving this post so long . . . oh well ) . He was standing beside a table rife with premixed tequila beverages ! Now the real fun would begin J Everyone grabbed a beverage , a paloma for myself and a vampire for Kaitlyn . Palomas are a blend of tequila and grapefruit soda while the vampiros were tequila with tomato juice and chamoy . The vampiro was a new flavour and a very interesting one . It 's a blend of tequila , clamato juice and chamoy . Think of a Caesar but sweet instead of spicy . Anyway after we grabbed our beverages we headed off to the agave fields to check in with a real Jimador . Me in the agave field ! Jimadors , for those whose knowledge of Mexican spirit preparation is lacking , are those brave souls who harvest and prepare the agave plant . They use what is essentially a small shovel that 's been flattened and sharpened to cut the agave leaves off the pina ( or pineapple in English ) until they are left with the core of the plant , which looks like a large , white pineapple . Each agave plant would take approximately 30 years to fertilize and grow on its own but they have developed processes to expedite the process . Under the supervision of these experts the agave plant reaches full growth in 7 years . After checking out the agave fields , we moved over to the ovens where they cook they thousands of raw agave hearts . Cooking the hearts caramelizes and thickens the sugars within the agave and the result is a sweetness that was remarkably similar to a sweet potato . Before we reached the ovens though we were greeted by another Mexican stereotype with a tequila bearing burro ( Spanish for donkey ) ! The donkey carried small wooden kegs of tequila which we all had a sample of before seeing the massive piles of agave hearts ready for the ovens . Once the agave is cooked , it is shredded and squeezed to separate the juice from the fibrous portion . Apparently the fibrous part of the agave can be used to create things like string , cloth and other materials used in the construction of clothing , furniture , etc . The bottom line is that nothing is wasted , which I thought was pretty cool . The agave juice is sent to a mixing tank where sugar levels are monitored as they need to be very specific in order to ferment and distil properly . There was also a poster that broke the whole process down very simply ! We then proceeded to the distillation area where they distil the tequila not once but twice ! The tour guide showed us the difference between the raw mixture that comes from the fermentation tanks and the tequila after it 's been distilled both once and twice . The tequila that comes out of the distillation process is much stronger than what ends up in the bottle ( approximately 70 % ) and we got to sample this product . I 've heard people say that absinth backs a punch or Bacardi 151 but frankly neither has the unique flavour tequila does and coupled with its freshly distilled strength , it definitely kicks the hardest of anything I 've ever tasted ( except everclear , but that 's basically straight ethanol so it doesn 't count ) . Anyway after this demon juice comes out of the distillation tanks , it is watered down to 40 % and bottled ! You 'll notice that the tequila that comes out of the distillation process is clear . To get reposado or anejo tequilas the clear tequila is aged in oak barrels which gives these respective spirits their goldish colour and distinctive flavour . After finishing up in the new factory we walked down a street lined with tequila souvenir vendors . Everything from mugs and shot glasses to jewellery was accounted for and the prices actually weren 't that felonious ( mostly ) so we looked around a bit . I bought Kaitlyn a couple of flower - shaped bracelets made from a local plant ( I 'm not sure what ) and a gun - shaped alcohol serving unit for myself . It came with its own stand and cost about $ 8 . It might be the purchase of the trip ! The tequila crusher ! Anyway after the souvenir strip we headed to the old factory which is where they created tequila until the 1960s when they converted to the new factory and methods . They showed us the ovens , which were all stone - constructed and wood burning , the mill where they would squeeze out the juice using a 2 - tonne mill stone pulled by a donkey , the fermentation tanks which were literally holes in the ground where the juice flowed in , and the old - style fermentation tanks made out of copper . It was all very cool but you almost wondered if all this work was worth it , then you remembered they were manufacturing booze and it all made sense again . . . After leaving the old factory we walked by the bottling plant ( which we didn 't tour ) and took a few photos . It was neat to see the finished product being force fed into their subsequent homes and ready for consumption ! We walked to a field nearby where tables were set up for a veritable feast which we were more than ready for . We hadn 't really eaten all day and the tequila was taking its toll , but not to worry along with the tortilla laden food frenzy before us there was also an abundance of Herradura tequila which waiters would mix however you liked . Put simply it was tequila paradise : ) We feasted , we drank , we laughed , and then we got back on the bus to head home . We got the bus driver to drop us off at the turnoff for the village so that we could walk back to Kaitlyn 's host family 's house to retire for the night . It was a great day and a tour I would highly recommend to anyone visiting Guadalajara ! Tomorrow are the closing ceremonies though which serve as the official end to the Pan Am Games and judging by the quality of the opening ceremonies should be nothing less than spectacular . The post is coming soon so stay tuned ! So today we made plans to go to a movie at the Cineapolis VIP ( VIP Cinemas ) with Alana and her boyfriend Isaac later that night . There was a 740 and 1020 showtime and by mid afternoon we still hadn 't heard back from Alana to make sure they were coming so we headed over to the mall to do some " snooping " . For those not in the know , snooping is used here to refer to the act of going through a mall , perhaps looking at potential purchase opportunities but not intending to actually buy anything . For the most part we accomplished this goal . We arrived and were hungry , but first Kaitlyn had to find a bathroom . I 'm starting to wonder how she functions on a daily basis with having to make stops every hour . . . but anyway we found one and then began looking for a food court . On our way we passed a large open area with what looked like a set for a talk show put together . It didn 't look like anything was happening anytime soon so we kept on going . The promise of sustenance our motivation . We happened upon a Krispy Kreme and for anyone who is unfamiliar , Krispy Kreme is head and shoulders above any other donut brand I 've tasted . I would go as far as saying you haven 't really had a donut until you 've had a Krispy Kreme . We soldiered on , eventually finding the food court . Kaitlyn ordered something suspiciously like an authentic Mexican dish while I went my own way and decided on a nice greasy burger and fries : ) Our appetites sated , we explored the mall a little more , walking into a few stores but not willing to buy anything . The stores here were very similar in both product and price to back home , so the monetary incentive was absent . After a while we came to an arcade . Since we still had some time to kill we decided to check it out . As it happened the tokens were 2 for 1 that day , so we bought 200 pesos worth of tokens ( for 100 pesos ) and started playing . There were some really enjoyable games there , as well as some real disappointments , but the best was definitely the miniature bowling . While we were there Alana called Kaitlyn and let her know they could make the 1020 show so we headed up to the cinema to grab the tickets . Another cool aspect of the theater was that you were able to purchase specific seats within it . We chose 4 seats near the center and were on our merry way . It was about 730 by this time so we still had some time to kill . We found a starbucks and decided to get some caffeine in our system . I 'm not sure what it is about malls , but after walking around in one for a few hours it seems to have a lullaby effect on me . I 'm not especially tired but I feel the overwhelming urge to lay down and sleep . Caffeinated drinks in tow , we happened upon a sponsored television showing synchronized diving from the games ! We sat down , sipped our drinks and enjoyed some very talented divers perform some pretty crazy aerial feats . At 9pm the show was over so we played some cards until almost 10 then headed up to the cinemas again . Alana and Isaac weren 't far behind so after they showed up we said a quick hello then headed into the theater . This theater was both very alike and very different from other theaters I have been to . Imagine the cinema equivalent of first class on an air plane . Yes there are still seats , aisles and overhead compartments but everything is a little bigger and nicer than what you find in coach , not to mention there are waiters scattered around waiting to take care of your every need . You just want some popcorn and a soft drink ? Sure ! But perhaps you 'd rather have a margarita and some sushi or a full on dinner ? They can accommodate all desires . Oh , did I forget to mention the seats were reclinable Lazy Boys ? ? ? Seats were set up 2 each , with and end table and light on either side ( kind of like a loveseat ) and the arm rest in between the 2 could be pushed up to create a more cuddle - friendly experience . All in all , it was nothing less than first class . Moneyball , the movie we saw , was also really great . Based on the true story of the initial application of economics into professional sport it was both interesting and entertaining and I would highly recommend going to see it if you haven 't already . Anyway we caught a cab outside of Kaitlyn 's place and took it down into central Guadalajara . When we had been there earlier in the day Kaitlyn had pointed out where we were within the core and where the unsavoury parts were . As the cab passed into the danger zone the cabby rolled up the windows and fastened his seatbelt . Since we had been downtown for awhile I was definitely disconcerted with this change . I looked over at Kaitlyn and she simply said " I told you . . . " which may have made her feel better but I only got more uncomfortable . After what seemed like an eternity of driving cautiously though graffiti covered streets and dark alleys we pulled up to the venue . It was quite distinctive due to the large crowd gathered out front and the multitude of wrestling mask stands where various vendors were selling masks ranging from quite plain to outright ridiculous . Again I apologize for leaving the camera at home because some of these facial coverings were pretty impressive in their craftsmanship . Kaitlyn 's friend Alana met us there as she is living here and working at the university . We lined up to get tickets and after paying I remember thinking that this was more expensive than I thought it would be . Not in a serious way , my student ticket was 80 pesos and Kaitlyn 's regular ticket was 110 , I 'm just used to things ( especially in places that looked like this ) being really cheap in Mexico so the modest price of the tickets surprised me . It became very clear what had happened just a few minutes later . . . I will preface my explanation by pointing out that when Kaitlyn first told me about Lucha Libre , one of the most interesting facets of the experience she mentioned was the class divide within the venue . Cheap seats are located on the higher balcony while the more expensive seats are found on the lower level at ringside , and go back approximately 10 rows . The rich Mexicans and tourists that come to Lucha Libre sit in the expensive seats and the lower class , if they can afford to come , buy the cheap tickets . Anyway the plan was to have an " authentic " Mexico experience so we wanted to buy cheap seats so we could sit with the rowdy folks , but alas after we purchased our tickets , on the way in we found out we had bought the wrong kind . We were gonna have to sit with the rich folks : ( The first act after we sat down featured a women 's tag team match . They weren 't anything amazing but the obvious crowd favourite was a very large woman in what appeared to be a black cat suit . After 3 very entertaining rounds , Rotunda 's team emerged victorious , much to the delight of the crowd . An individual bout followed , with the loser having to shave his head in what I imagine was the consequence of some wager in weeks prior . More coronas were ordered to carry us through the main event of the evening . The main event was another tag team match which featured 6 men who were not only much more talented than the wrestlers earlier but with much more ridiculous personas ( anyone who has watched professional wrestling will know what I 'm talking about ) . There was the pretty boy , who was tanned , ripped , and never missed an opportunity to show off his guns . The Hulk . Seriously , this guy had a green spandex suit , spikey black hair and ripped jean shorts that would have made Lou Ferrigno proud . There was also a japanese fighter ( at least he looked japanese ) who had some sweet acrobatic moves , an animalistic fighter with painted on hair whose signature move seemed to be wiping his armpits and then licking his hands ( I didn 't get it either ) , a Rick Flair lookalike with an S & M clothing fetish , and a fairy . Now when I say fairy I don 't mean the kind of mystical creature that flies through the enchanted forest at night , I mean a 6 foot tall , overweight , hairy man in a pink spandex tutu . As far as personas go this was by far the most ridiculous and it was capped off by his objective which it seemed was to distract or debilitate his opponent long enough to steal a kiss . It was pretty hilarious which of course made him , above all others , the crowd favourite . In true crowd pandering fashion , Fairy 's team won , and some words were exchanged between Rick Flair and Hulk before the event concluded , no doubt some type of storyline drama to be continued next week . The whole experience was unforgettable though , mostly because the wrestling portion was really only half the entertainment . The other half was completely crowd centered . As I mentioned earlier there was a clear class divide between those who purchased cheap tickets and those who paid extra . The cheap seats were not only located in a higher level , almost like a balcony but shorter , but they were also fenced in as if to keep things even more separated than they already were . This created a clear line in the sand , which divided the stadium into two halves ; those with money and those with none , and there was some clear animosity between the halves . Now while I 'm partially sure this was all done in good fun , periodically throughout the performance insulting chants would begin on one side of the fence or the other . The chants from the rich side were usually to point out the undesirable financial situation of those on the poor side , for example , " the bus is leaving " or " your mother cleans my house " . The chants from the poor side I can 't really repeat here , just in case this blog finds its way into the view of children . Suffice it to say the chants from the other side of the fence were much less specific , but just as if not more insulting , and used much more . . . flowery language . After the performance concluded we all piled into Alana 's truck and drove to La Fiesta de America . The bar used by all the athletes competing at the games . There were buses going and coming back from there almost every night so for athletes done competing , there was never an excuse not to be able to party . We ended up staying there for a few hours , after which Kaitlyn 's sister Kari joined us for a few libations before heading home . It was a great night and luckily we were able to sleep in the next morning . I 'll tell you all about that day tomorrow as this post has taken up too much of my evening already . After our very disheartening performance against Ecuador consolation beers were definitely in order . We stopped at the bar in the international zone on the way back to sate our thirst . I had been texting Kaitlyn and suggested we get together a bit later for some drinks and a movie , which she emphatically agreed to . She and her host sister were out for dinner so she would text me when they were finished . After the most delectable beer I 've had in awhile was finished , we grabbed a quick bite at the cafeteria then headed back to the room . After a quick shower we all went back down for another beer while trying not to bemoan our heinous play earlier that day . Kaitlyn texted and called me while we were down there but I didn 't hear / notice my phone so when I did I hurriedly finished my beer , said my goodbyes and headed out to meet them . They had stopped by a gas station to pick up some tequila and grapefruit soda ( gotta love the availability of alcohol in Mexico ) on the way over so we were all set . Upon our arrival back at the house , located in a gated community near the Pan American Village called Valle Real , we hunkered down with our drinks and my recently downloaded copy of Horrible Bosses and enjoyed a chill evening of each others company . In the morning , with the tournament disappointingly but thankfully over , we decided to get a jump on exploring downtown Guadalajara . Since we had slept in , it was past noon by the time we departed the house and thus we decided that road drinks were a must . We walked across the street to a gas station where a multitude of alcoholic merriment awaited . Seriously , we bought 2 beer and a pre - mixed mojito for less than $ 3 and if we hadn 't just eaten I could also have enjoyed a hot dog wrapped in bacon . Sorry Canada but with gas stations like that I 'm beginning to fall for Mexico . After flagging a taxi and haggling for a price she was happy with ( 100 pesos ) , Kaitlyn and I jumped in , cracked our respective beers and enjoyed a somewhat uneventful taxi ride into the heart of Guadalajara . I wasn 't sure what to expect . I knew it would be a big city but it was nothing like the big cities of Canada . There were definitely crowded and cramped portions but there were courtyards , plazas , gazebos and statues of famous Mexican artists and revolutionaries . This was not only the center of commerce for the city but also the center of culture , and it was awesome . One of the really cool parts of downtown was the Dia de los Muertos ( Day of the Dead ) decorations . The Day of the Dead is a Mexican holiday to celebrate the remembrance of friends and family members who have died . Occurring on the 1st and 2nd of November ( in connection with the Catholic Holidays of All Saints ' and All Souls ' day ) the downtown area has become rife with skeletal mannequins to celebrate not only the holiday but also the Pan Am Games . The skeletons are depicted participating in different sports that are part of the games ! We also walked through the Government Palace or Palacio de Gobierno . Many of the walls ( and ceilings ) were covered in murals by a famous Mexican artist Kaitlyn told me the name of but which I now forget . ( I 'll get it from her and update this post for all those who are curious . ) Full of symbolism and emotion . Each mural seemed to tell a story of oppression , revolution or hope . Hope was my favourite . Anyway after finishing up at the Palace we walked through a few more of the courtyards before stopping to get a bite to eat ( and another drink - I was parched ! ) . Kaitlyn was ecstatic because the place we found had a special on Micheladas , 1 liter for 47 pesos ( about 4 dollars ) . For those unfamiliar with Mexican libationary delicacies , the Michelada is somewhat similar to a beer & clam , but with a few Mexican spices added in for good measure . The result is usually reddish - brown , similar in a lot of ways to a caesar , including it 's inebriaton inducing effects . They are also Kaitlyn 's favourite Mexican drink . Her oversized beverage also allowed me to polish off a couple of beers myself before she could finish , not that I was complaining ; ) Okay well maybe not completely underground , but you have to walk down half a flight of stairs from street level and everything is covered in white aluminum siding panels . Once you got down to the shop level it was a veritable labyrinth of storefronts , selling everything from fresh fruit and candy to knock off brand name leather jackets . It was quite an experience and I was even able to get some presents for my family while there ! Needless to say our first day in Guadalajara was extremely memorable . Tonight is Lucha Libre ! Mexican style wrestling is very popular here and totally part of the culture . I 'm really looking forward to it and blogging about it later . Cheers . Tim So yesterday was unfortunately another rough day for Canada . The women 's team fell to Ecuador 2 - 1 after a shakeup in the lineup that saw Josee sit out due to illness and Jen team up with Brandi to play doubles as well as singles . It wasn 't enough to pull out a victory though and thus medals completely eluded the women 's racquetball team at this Pan Am Games . The men didn 't fare any better though this round . Also falling to Ecuador 2 - 1 . Positional changes were made to elicit a better result against our would - be opponents , the Americans , in the semi finals . Putting our best doubles team together ( Mike and Kris ) then myself at the # 1 singles and Vinnie at # 2 . I wasn 't there to watch the doubles match as it was almost 4 hours before mine was scheduled ( assuming I would even have to play , which given the state of my hip when I woke up was hopefully not going to be necessary ) . They must have played very poorly though because they fell 11 - 8 tiebreaker which meant my match would be the difference maker after Vinnie beat his opponent . I was texted about the doubles result shortly after it happened so I had lots of time to prep my hip for the inevitable running battle that would ensue with my opponent . For those of you who don 't know , Fernando Rios is the racquetball equivalent of a jackrabbit on crack , with a wicked forehand . I lost to him at the Pan Am Championships in Nicaragua , a match I played very poorly in and was hungry for revenge but if I couldn 't move that would be a difficult task . I saw the physio at the Team Canada center hours before I had to leave and she worked out the worst of the soreness , then I made sure I got to the courts a full hour before we were scheduled to begin so that I could get a good long hit to work out the rest of it . Vinnie won fairly easily so we were up . I came out of the gate strong and playing well . Frankly I think I took him off guard because he seemed on his heels as well , not covering the ball like I thought he would . All that changed when he got the serve back trailing 1 - 7 . He began to chip away at my lead , alternating good serves with brutally long rallies and before long he had tied at 7 - 7 and began pulling away . I regrouped though and went on another point streak , leading 13 - 10 before relinquishing the serve once again . I couldn 't seem to put points together after that though . He covered the court extremely well and I got frustrated , making errors at late stages of each rally which either gave him the point or an easy shot for it . I would fall 15 - 13 . The second game started out almost opposite with him jumping out to a lead 7 - 3 . I was getting the serve back but just not scoring so I changed to a drive serve which proved effective . I would get back to 7 - 6 before he relieved me of my serve and scored a few more points . I switched back to the lob and he while he was just giving me ceiling ball setups I couldn 't seem to capitalize and he extended his lead to 12 - 7 . I went back to the drive serve and pulled up to 10 - 12 . He got the serve back and scored a point for 13 - 10 . I got the serve back and drove serve another 3 to tie at 13 . He took a timeout to regroup . I felt like I had the momentum and when I went back in to serve I decided to hit a jam drive right into him thinking he wouldn 't expect it . Unfortunately I left it short . He flipped to the forehand and ripped the ball right at me but it impossibly flew right between my legs , clipping my shorts on the way by ( the ref didn 't see it apparently ) and flat killing in the middle of the court . He would make no mistakes on the next 2 points , taking them and the match 15 - 13 , 15 - 13 . As deflated as I was after losing our doubles semifinal to Venezuela earlier , this was worse as the team was counting on me . I had the power to bring us into the semifinals and played just poorly enough to lose . It was hearbreaking . There are a lot of things I could blame my performance on but that 's not me . I 'm not going to make excuses . I lost and the result was the team lost because of it . It really sucks . But I 'm trying to move on from it and now that the tournament is over I will get to see a little more of Guadalajara . Kaitlyn and I have planned to do some exploring downtown . Look for the post tonight or tomorrow with some great pictures . I 'm not sure how much reporting I 'll do on the rest of the tournament because I 'm probably not going to be there today or tomorrow but I will be blogging about my adventures in and around Guadalajara so whoever is interested can keep on reading . Check out theracquetballblog . blogspot . com for tournament results ! I 'm out . . .
|
It was the children who first noticed that there was something different about the woman they called Martha Mupengo . They followed her , as they often did , past the houses in Easterly Farm , houses of pole and mud , of thick black plastic sheeting for walls and clear plastic for windows , houses that erupted without city permission , unnumbered houses identified only by reference to the names of their occupants . They followed her past MaiJames 's house , MaiToby 's house , past the house occupied by Josephat 's wife and her husband , Josephat , when he was on leave from the mine , past the house of the newly arrived couple that no one really knew , all the way past the people waiting with plastic buckets to take water from Easterly 's only tap . Giddy with delight , the children pointed at her nakedness . " Hee , haana bhurugwa , " they screeched . " Hee , Martha has no panties on , she has no panties on . " However many times Martha Mupengo lifted her dress , they did not tire of it . As the dress fell back , it occurred to the children that there was something a little different , a little slow about her . It took a few seconds for Tobias , the sharp - eyed leader of Easterly 's Under - Eights , to notice that the something different was the protrusion of the stomach above the thatch of dark hair . The children took up the chorus . " What have you eaten , Martha Mupengo ? " They shouted as they followed her to her house in the far corner of Easterly . Superstition prevented them from entering . Tobias 's chief rival , Tawanda , a boy with four missing teeth and eyes as big as Tobias 's ears were wide , threw a stick through the open doorway . Not to be outdone , Tobias picked up an empty baked - beans can . He struck a metal rod against it , but even this clanging did not bring Martha out . After a few more failed stratagems , they moved on . His mother , MaiToby , sat at her sewing machine . Around her were the swirls of fabric , sky - blue , magnolia , buttermilk , and bolts of white stuffing for the duvets that she made to sell . The small generator powering the sewing machine sent diesel fumes into the room . Tobias raised his voice above the machine . " Hoo , " his mother said without looking up . One half of her mind was on the work before her , and the other half was on another matter : should she put elaborate candlewick on this duvet , or should she walk all the way to MaiJames 's to make a call to follow up on that ten million she was owed ? MaiJames operated a phone shop from her house . She walked her customers to a hillock at the end of the farm and stood next to them as they telephoned . On the hillock , MaiJames opened the two mobiles she had and inserted one SIM card after the other to see which would get the best reception . Her phone was convenient , but there was this : from MaiJames came most of the gossip at Easterly . Her name and memory , past and dreams , were lost in the foggy corners of her mind . She lived in the house and slept on the mattress on which a man called Titus Zunguza had killed first his woman and then himself . The cries of Titus Zunguza 's woman were loud in the night . Help would have come , for the people of Easterly lived to avoid the police . But by the time Godwills Mabhena , who lived next to MaiJames , had crossed the distance to Titus Zunguza 's house , by the time he had roused a sufficient number of neighbors to enter , help had come too late . And when the police did come , they were satisfied that it was no more than what it was . She did not come with those who arrived after the government cleaned the townships to make Harare pristine for the three - day visit of the Queen of England . All the women who walk alone at night are prostitutes , the government said - lock them up , the Queen is coming . There are illegal structures in the townships , they said - clean them up . The townships are too full of people , they said , gather them up and put them in the places the Queen will not see , in Porta Farm , in Hatcliffe , in Dzivaresekwa Extension , in Easterly . Allow them temporary structures , and promise them real walls and doors , windows and toilets . Long after the memories of the Queen 's visit had faded , and the broken arms of the arrested women were healed , Easterly Farm took root . The first wave was followed by a second , and by another , and yet another . Martha did not come with the first wave , nor with the next , nor with the one after that . She just appeared , as though from nowhere . Tobias , Tawanda , and the children thought this just another sign of madness ; she was asking for something that you could not give . Senses , they thought , we have five senses and not twenty , until Tobias 's father , BaToby , the only adult who took the trouble to explain anything , told them that cents were an old type of money , coins of different colors . In the days before a loaf of bread cost half a million dollars , he said , one hundred cents made one dollar . He took down an old tin and said as he opened it , " We used the coins as recently as 2000 . " " Eight years ago , I remember , " said an older child . " The five - cent coin had a rabbit , the ten - cents a baobab tree . The twenty had . . . had . . . umm , I know . . . Beit Bridge . " " Well - done , good effort , " said BaToby . He spoke in the hearty tones of Mr . Barwa , his history teacher from Form Three . He , too , would have liked to teach the wonders of Uthman dan Fodio 's Caliphate of Sokoto and Tshaka 's horseshoe battle formation , but providence in the shape of the premature arrival of Tobias had deposited him , grease under his nails , at the corner of Kaguvi Street and High Road , where he repaired broken - down cars for a living . As he showed them the coins , he remembered a joke he had heard that day . He repeated it to the children . " Before the president was elected , the Zimbabwe ruins were a prehistoric monument in Masvingo Province . Now the Zimbabwe ruins extend to the whole country . " The children looked at him blankly , before running off to play , leaving him to laugh with his whole body shaking . The children understood that Martha 's memory was frozen in the time before they could remember , the time of once upon a time , of good times that their parents had known , of days when it was normal to have more than leftovers for breakfast . " We danced to records at Christmas , " BaToby was heard to say . " We had reason to dance then , we had our Christmas bonuses . " In the mornings , the men and women of Easterly washed off their sleep smells in buckets of water that had to be heated in the winter . They dressed in shirts and skirts ironed straight with coal irons . In their smart clothes , thumbing lifts at the side of the road , they looked like anyone else , from anywhere else . So it was that in the mornings , the women of the markets rose early and caught the mouth of the rooster . In Mbare Musika they loaded boxes of leaf vegetables , tomatoes and onions , sacks of potatoes , yellow bursts of spotted bananas . They took omnibuses to Mufakose , to Kuwadzana and Glen Norah to stand in stalls and coax customers . The men and boys went to Siyaso , the smoke - laced secondhand market where the expectation of profit defied the experience of breaking even . In this section , hubcaps , bolts , nuts , adapters , spanners . Over there , an entire floor given over to the mysterious bits , spiked and heavy , rusted and box - shaped , that give life to appliances . In the next , sink separators , plugs , cell - phone chargers . Under the bridge , cobblers making manyatera sandals out of used tires . The shoes were made to measure , " Just put your foot here , blaz " the sole of the shoe sketched and cut out around the foot , a hammering of strips of old tire onto the sole , and lo , fifteen - minute footwear . In Siyaso , it was not unknown for a man whose car had been relieved of its radio or hubcaps to buy them back from the man into whose hands they had fallen . At a discount . They spent the day away from Easterly Farm , in the city , in the markets , in Siyaso . They stood at street corners selling belts with steel buckles , brightly colored Afro combs studded with mirrors , individual cigarettes smoked over a newspaper read at a street corner , boiled eggs with pinches of salt in brown paper . They passed on whispered rumors about the president 's health . Josephat 's wife was the first of the adults to recognize Martha 's condition . She and Josephat , when he was home from the mine , lived in the house that had belonged to her aunt . It was five years since Josephat 's wife had married Josephat . She had tasted the sound of her new identity - on her tongue and liked it so much that she called herself nothing else . " This is Josephat 's wife , " she said when she spoke into the telephone on the hillock above the farm . " Hello , hello . It 's Josephat 's wife . Josephat 's wife . " On that day , Josephat 's wife was walking slowly back into Easterly , careful not to dislodge the thick wad of cotton the nurses had placed between her legs . Like air seeping out of the wheels of a bus on the rock ) ' road to Magunje , the joy was seeping out of the marriage . Kusvodza , they called it at the hospital , which put her in mind of kusvedza , slipping , sliding , and that is what was happening , the babies slipped and slid out in a mess of blood and flesh . She had moved to Easterly Farm to protect the unborn , fleeing from Mutoko where Josephat had brought her as a bride . After three miscarriages , she believed the tales of witchcraft that were whispered about Josephat 's aunts on his father 's side . " They are eating my children , " she declared , when Josephat found her at his two - room house at Hartley Mine near Chegutu . She stayed only six months . After another miscarriage , she remembered the whispers about the foreman 's wife , and her friend Rebecca who kept the bottle store . " They are eating my children , " she said and moved to her aunt 's house in Mbare . There she remained until the family was evicted and set up home in Easterly Farm . After another miscarriage , she said to her aunt , " You are eating my children . " Her aunt did not take this well . She had , after all , sympathized with Josephat 's wife , even telling her of other people who might be eating her children . In the fight that followed , Josephat 's wife lost a tooth and all the buttons of her dress . Then the younger brother of the aunt 's husband had died . By throwing the dead brother 's widow and her young family out of their house in Chitungwiza , the aunt and her husband acquired a new house , and Josephat 's wife was left in Easterly . In the evenings , she read from her Bible , her lips moving as she read the promises for the faithful . " Is there any among you that is sick ? Let him call for the elders of the Church ; and let them pray over him , anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord . And the prayer of faith shall save the sick . " From church to church she flitted , worshipping in township back rooms while drunken revelers roared outside , mosquitoes gorging on her blood in the open fields as she prayed among the white - clad visiting prophets with shaved heads and hooked staffs who put their hands on her head and on her breasts . At the Sacred Church of the Anointed Lamb , at the Temple of God 's Deliverance , at the Church of Our Savior of Glad Tidings , she cried out her need in the language of tongues . She chased a child as her fellow penitents chased salvation , chased a path out of penury , chased away the unbearable heaviness of loneliness , sought some kind of redemption . And if the Lord remained deaf , that was because she had not asked hard enough , prayed hard enough , she thought . She was walking past MaiToby 's house on the way to her own , when she remembered that MaiToby had told her about a new church whose congregation prayed in the field near Sherwood Golf Course in Sentosa . " You can 't miss them , " MaiToby had said . " You go along Quendon , until you reach the Tokwe flats . They worship under a tree on which hangs a big square flag ; it has a white cross on a red background . " It meant taking three commuter omnibuses , Josephat 's wife thought . First , the omnibus to Mabvuku , then one to town . She would have to walk for fifteen or so minutes from Fourth Street to Leopold Takawira , take an omnibus to Avondale , and walk for another forty - five minutes to Sentosa . She remembered that she had not been able to reach her husband at the mine to tell him of yet another miscarriage . That thought directed her feet toward MaiJames 's house . It was then that she saw Martha . The woman did not need to lift her dress to reveal the full contours of pregnancy . The sight reached that part of Josephat 's wife 's spirit that still remained to be crushed . She ran past Martha , they brushed shoulders , Martha staggered a little , but Josephat 's wife moved on . In her dreams , Josephat 's wife turned to follow the sound of a crying child . At Hartley Mine , her husband , Josephat , eased himself out of the foreman 's wife 's friend Rebecca who kept the bottle store . He turned his mind to the increasing joylessness of his marriage bed . Before , his wife had opened all of herself to him , had taken all of him in , rising , rising , rising to meet him , before falling , falling down with him . Now it was only after prayers for a child that she lay back , her eye only on the outcome . " It is a matter of course that we will have children , " Josephat had thought when they married . " Boys , naturally . Two boys , and maybe a girl . " He no longer cared what came . All he wanted was to stop the pain . He eased himself out of Rebecca , lay back , and thought of his wife in Easterly . The winter of the birth of Martha 's child was a winter of broken promises . The government promised that prices would go down and salaries up . Instead , the opposite happened . The opposition promised that there would be protests . Instead they bickered over who should hold three of the top six positions of leadership . From the skies fell chimvuramabwe , hailstones of frozen heat that melted on the laughing tongues of Easterly 's children . The children jabbed fingers at the corpses of the frogs petrified in the stream near the farm . The water tap burst . MaiJames and BaToby argued over whether this winter was colder than the one in the last year but one of the war . MaiJames spoke for the winter of the war , BaToby for the present winter . " You were no higher than Toby uyu " MaiJames said with no rancor . " What can you possibly remember about that last winter but one ? " " Our satellite images indicate that a warm front is expected from the Eastern Highlands . The warm weather is expected to hold , so pack away those heaters and jerseys . And a very good night to you from your friendly meteorologist , Stan Mukasa . You are listening to nhepfenyuro yenyu , Radio Zimbabwe . Over to Nathaniel Moyo now , with ' You and Your Farm . ' " This meant that BaToby was right . If the government said inflation would go down , it was sure to rise . If they said there was a bumper harvest , starvation would follow . " If the government says the sky is blue , we should all look up to check , " said BaToby . That winter brought the threat of more evictions . There had been talk of evictions before , there was nothing new there . They brushed it aside and put more illegal firewood on their fires . Godwills Mabhena who lived next to MaiJames burned his best trousers . By the middle of that winter , all of Easterly knew that Martha was expecting a child . The men made ribald comments about where she could have found a man to do the deed . The women worked to convince themselves that it was a matter external to Easterly , to themselves , to their men . " You know how she disappears for days on end sometimes , " said MaiToby . " And you know how wild some of those street kids are . " " That woman acts like we are in the suburbs , " MaiJames later said to MaiToby . " Police ? Easterly ? Ho - do ! " They clapped hands together as they laughed . The female half of the couple whom no one really knew remembered that her brother 's wife attended the same church as a woman who worked in social welfare . " You mean Maggie , " her brother 's wife said . " Maggie moved kuSouth with her husband long back . I am sure by now her husband drives a really good car , mbishi chaiyo . " She got the number of the social department from the directory . But the number she dialed was out of service , and after three more attempts , she gave it up . " There is time enough to do something , " she thought . And when the children ran around Martha and laughed , " Go and play somewhere else , " MaiToby scolded them . " Did your mothers not teach you to respect your elders ? And as for you , wemazinzeve , " she turned to Tobias , " come and wash yourself . " On the night that Martha gave birth , Josephat 's wife walked to Easterly from a praying field near Mabvuku . She did not notice the residents gathered in clusters around their homes . Only when she walked past Martha 's house did the sounds of Easterly reach her . Was that a moan , she wondered . Yes , that sounded like a cry of pain . Without thinking , she walked - ran into Martha 's house . By the light of the moon falling through the plastic sheeting , she saw Martha , naked on her mattress , the head of her baby between her legs . She made for the door . Another moan stopped her and she turned back . She knelt by the mattress and looked between Martha 's legs . " Twenty cents , " Martha said and fainted . Josephat 's wife dug into the still woman and grabbed a shoulder . Her hand slipped . She cried tears of frustration . Again , she dug , she pulled , she eased the baby out . Martha 's blood flowed onto the mattress . " Tie the cord , " Josephat 's wife said out loud and tied it . She looked around for something with which to cut the cord . There was nothing , and the baby almost slipped from her hands . Through a film of tears she chewed on Martha 's flesh ; closing her mind to the taste of blood , she chewed and tugged the cord until the baby was free . She wiped the blood from her mouth with the back of her hand . The baby cried , she held it to her chest , and felt an answering rise in her breasts . She sobbed out laughter . Her heart loud in her chest , she took up the first thing she saw , a poppy - covered dress , and wrapped the baby in it . In her house she heated water and wiped the baby clean . She dressed it in the clothes of the children who had slipped from her . She put the baby to breast and he sucked on air until both fell asleep . This was the vision that met Josephat when he returned after midnight . " Whose child is that ? " In the half - light Josephat saw his wife 's face and his stomach turned to water . " I will go to the police , " he said . " You cannot snatch a child and expect me to do nothing . " His wife clutched the baby closer . " This is God 's will . We cannot let Martha look after it . How can we let her look after a child ? " Josephat blundered out of the room . He knew with certainty that it was just as he thought . Ten months before he had arrived home , and found his wife not there . " She has gone to an all - night prayer session , " a neighbor said . A wave of anger and repulsion washed over him . He had only this and the next night before he was to go back to the mine . He had gone to the beer garden in Mabvuku . The smell of his wife was in the blankets when he returned , but she wasn 't home . The hunger for a woman came over him . He left his house to urinate and relieved himself against the wall through the pain of his erection . A movement to the right caught his eye . He saw the shape of a woman . His mind turned immediately to thoughts of sorcery . He lit a cigarette and in the flare of the match saw the madwoman . " May I have twenty cents , " she said , and lifted up her dress . He did not look at her until she said , " May I have twenty cents , " He looked at her smiling face with horror ; he fell over his trousers and backward into the door . He pulled up his trousers as he ran and did not stop running until he reached his house . " It is not me , " he had said again and again . " This is not me . " He lit a cigarette . There was a smell of burning filter , he had lit the wrong end . He bargained with God , he bargained with the spirits on both his mother 's and his father 's sides . He bargained with himself . He would touch no woman other than his wife . He would not leave her , even if she never bore him a child . And even as he later gave in to Rebecca , Juliet , and the others , he told himself that these others meant nothing at all . Josephat found Martha lying on the floor on her back . He raised her left arm , it fell back . He covered her body with a blanket , and left the house . Snatches of conversation reached his ears from the group gathered around BaTobv . For the first time he realized that Easterly was still awake , unusually so ; it was well after midnight and yet here were people gathered around in knots in the moonlight . He moved close , he had to know . " You men , the only thing you know is to talk and talk , " MaiJames said . " Where are you when action is required ? Where were you when they took down Siyaso ? Nyararazvako . " The last word of comfort was directed to the crying child on her hip . His mother was one of three women arrested in Mufakosc , two for attempting to take their clothes off in protest , the third , the child 's mother , for clinging to her box of produce even as a truncheon came down , again , again , on her bleeding knuckles . The child sniffled into MaiJames 's bosom . She looked up at him . He swallowed . Her smile in the half - light put him in mind of Martha . " We have to leave , " he said . He picked up an armful of baby clothes . He held them in his hands for a moment , then stuffed them into the suitcase and closed it . When the morning rose over Easterly , not even the children noticed Martha 's absence . They were running away from the bulldozers . It was only when Josephat and his wife had almost reached Chegutu that the bulldozers , having razed the entire line of houses from MaiJames to BaToby , having crushed beneath them the house from which Josephat and his wife had fled , and having razed that of the new couple whom no one really knew , finally lumbered toward Martha 's house in the corner and exposed her body , stiff in death , her child 's afterbirth wedged between her legs . " An Elegy for Easterly " from AN ELEGY FOR EASTERLY : STORIES by Petina Gappah . Copyright © 2009 by Petina Gappah . Used by permission of Faber and Faber , Inc . , an affiliate of Farrar , Straus and Giroux , LLC . www . fsgbooks . com Petina Gappah is a Zimbabwean lawyer and writer . An Elegy for Easterly became the title story of her first collection , which won the Guardian First Book Award . It was also a finalist for the LA Times Art Seidenbaum Award for First Fiction and was shortlisted for the Orwell Prize and the Frank O ' Connor International Short Story Award .
|
I think those of us who want to be writers started as avid readers . I was fascinated by snakes growing up in the Appalachian hills , and it occurred to me at a very early age that adults didn 't know much about them , that they were prejudiced because of their ignorance . My grandmother was steeped in superstitions . She would place towels under the doors in her house so my snakes couldn 't slither in and would say things like , " For pity 's sakes , child , I see 'd that milk snake suck the breath from a baby . " I realized that the only way I could learn was to teach myself how to read , which I did with my mother 's help at about four years old . That was beginning of the journey . Later , I was enthralled by a volume of The Complete Sherlock Homes , which was so heavy it put a dent in my chest , and later still by Jim Corbett 's tales of man - eating tigers in India . I knew then that I not only wanted to lead a life of adventure , but to write about it , and by my teens I knew exactly what kind of a writer I wanted to be , and exactly whose job I wanted . My hero was Al McClane , the fishing editor of Field & Stream magazine , who was deliciously rumored to be a cold war spy . He had a beautiful daughter about my age , and my goal in life was to impress him , to marry his daughter and ultimately to take his place as the fishing editor . I did none of these things but I came close in the professional sense ; I wrote more than a thousand articles for the magazine and was even a finalist for two National Magazine Awards for my work . The road from magazine writing to being a novelist was long , but I was on my way . The one - word answer is the characters . One of the first things that struck me upon moving to Montana , some thirty - odd years ago now , was its diversity and the openness and collective humor of the people . In the East , it seemed , people tended more to stay within their socio - econominc / philosophicale / religious / political and age classes . But in the changing West , people from all walks of life walked together , talked together , hunted and fished together , shot pool over the long winters together . As the big old - family landholding broke apart and were sold in twenty acre allotments for second homes , as the economy changed from timber , mining and agriculture to tourism and fishing , with some counties such as my fictional Hyalite County running on money generated by trout slime , people of all different stripes were thrown together . You might have a state senator living in a riverside log mansion living next door to barista renting a rundown cabin , next to a medical marijuana grower , next to a fishing guide , next to a movie star . And they all know each other and are in a sense equal inhabitants of the land . This West contrasts with the Old West of Zane Grey and Louis Lamoure , two great writers writing a West that maybe never was . It also contrasts with current literature of the Rockies , which champions iconic loner lawmen in enormous empty counties - the admirable fiction of Craig Johnson and C . J . Box . Now their novels are relevant in the sense that their setting do still exist , especially in Wyoming , but the clock is ticking down on the wide open West and it is in a process of flux . My protagonist , Sean Stranahan , is a transplanted Easterner because I wanted him to observe this dynamic , and to see the country with fresh eyes that aren 't always comparing his vision with a disappearing ideal . When this series started , Sean Stranahan was a lost man recovering from divorce and searching for place to call home . He moved west because his father had always wanted to take him west to fish and had died before they could make that trip , and he didn 't much care what happened to him just as long as something happened . Which did , with a knock at the door , as soon as he put his shingle up - Blue Ribbon Watercolors , and , in discreet script he hoped nobody would notice , Private Investigations ) . As the sheriff , Martha Ettinger , put it , he was one of those people who would step into shit even if there was only one horse in the pasture . He was also notably sane , the center of a cast of eccentrics . Maybe too sane . He changed or , rather , Montana changed him , for the better I hope , and he found that in blue ribbon rivers and his relationships he had found not only a home , but a reason to live . Like Martha , he is a lonely heart not without lovers , and they circle each other , one 's shadow always upon the other no matter whose arms they are in - what could have been , what should have been , if the stars had only known better . They danced in the dark in The Gray Ghost Murders , danced apart in Dead Man 's Fancy . In Crazy Mountain Kiss . . . but no , I won 't give it away . One has to be careful when pairing characters up in plot driven novels . It 's not so much that married people are boring , but that the other half is hanging around and has to be dealt with . If he or she is not a part of the story , they slow it down . It 's the same reason you don 't want your main character to have a dog , because you 're always dealing with the dog . I broke that rule , because there isn 't a man in Montana , a single man anyway , who doesn 't have a dog . If you don 't have a dog , who 's there to talk to ? And now I 'm paying the price , constantly inserting little reminders into parenthesis - ( WHERE ' S THE DAMNED DOG ? ? ? ) . I have a few readers who complain that Sean doesn 't fish as much as he used to . But then these are not fly fishing novels so much as novels that have a little fly fishing in them - NPR 's Cherie Newman says I 've invented a genre , fly fishing noir - and sometimes Sean just has more important things to do than wave a rod . But don 't worry . He will always return to the river , for it is his reflection in the face of water that reminds him of who he was , who he is , and in its distortion , who he will be . Hopefully , some day , with Martha . Several years ago I helped host a dinner party in Key West ( my part was to cook antelope steaks I 'd brought from Montana ) and was having a drink with the tarpon fishing guide Simon Becker , who told the story of the infamous Key West mile high club , called " Fly Key West , " a service which offered " quickie " flights for couples who paid up to $ 350 to be flown around the island while they cavorted in a Piper Cub . The service included souvenir sheets and the option of having their couplings recorded on a voyeur cam ( " By Request Only " ) , the business coming to an abrupt end in 2001 when a couple in their sixties , posing as lovers , high - jacked the plane to fly them to Cuba . A struggle ensued with the pilot , who crashed the plane in the Florida Straits ; the plane sank , the pilot alone survived to tell the story . Only in Key West , I thought at the time , but then thought , " Why not Montana ? " Certainly there had to be sex clubs in Montana , though as a happily married man I had to look them up . I looked them up - there were plenty . Trade the plane for a forest cabin , up the elevation and viola - " The Mile and Half High Club . " It gave me the opportunity to write some quirky but sympathetic characters and is true to the nature of the area , which has never been at a loss for avenues of sexual escape . The police in Bozeman , my home town , recorded the names of some 600 local and transient prostitutes during just one calendar year in the 1880s , this in a town that started that decade with roughly a thousand people . Most were men , obviously , and evidently starved ones at that ! To do the work . East , West , South , it doesn 't matter where you 're from . This is easy to say , but ninety percent of success is showing up , as Woody Allen and lot of other people have said before . Just write the novels . Muddle your way through that 250 pages in the middle where most of the competition jumps ship , and then rewrite it until it 's as good as you 're going to get it . If I have learned anything traveling around the country and meeting other authors , it 's that those who have success , by which I mean they are working authors who make a living putting words together , it 's that they have achieved their status somewhere between books ten and twenty . So it 's never too early to start . Don 't set out to write the great American novel , and then rewrite it half your life ; write a lot of books until they start sticking to the wall . I do think younger writers have lost sight of this a little bit . I have been a panelist and presenter at many writing seminars and conferences , and it seems that the emphasis is more on the publishing end of the business than the writing aspect of it . But to get house published , as opposed to self - publishing , the work has to stand first . Tara Singh , a very wise editor I worked with at Viking / Penguin , said that writers are always telling her how many Twitter followers they have , as if that should be what convinces her to accept their book . It isn 't . And it 's okay to start small . You can learn more as newspaper reporter in three months than you might as a masters candidate in an MFA program . Write in different mediums - newspaper , magazine , poetry , blog , whatever . They feed off each other to make you a better writer . I know I 'm a better novelist for being a magazine writer ( I know how to meet deadlines , for example ) , and being a novelist has made me a more fluid and better magazine writer . Last , give yourself room to surprise yourself . I was a quote " literary writer " in the magazine world , someone who wrote thoughtfully and elegantly about his family . I thought that was my strength . But essays are driven by the declarative sentence , whereas novels are driven by character and dialogue almost entirely . Humor , character and dialogue came naturally to me ; they were my real strengths and I 'd never have guessed it . It only took me thirty years to find that out . In the immediate future , I 'm traveling to Cuba to fish . One of the great perks of keeping my hand in the magazine world is travel . I could do more if I had the time . Writing novels is a be - careful - what - you - wish - for profession . Crazy Mountain Kiss , my fourth novel in the Sean Stranahan series comes out in early June and I am contracted for two more , which basically means I work too much and fish too little . I do still enjoy the characters . I wrote my first novel , " The Royal Wulff Murders , " partly to amuse myself , and aimed to surround myself with characters I 'd like to hang out with . I 'm thankful that I will have more time to do just that . I 've also been working on a novel about children growing up in Appalachia , though that one 's sleeping the subconscious for the time being . This is strange business . When I was a crime / nightside reporter , I had my finger on the pulse of the city , knew everyone , could tell you all the back stories . A story for a newspaper took two hours . Then I became a magazine writer , taking a big step away from interactions with my fellow human beings . And a story took two days or two weeks . Still , not long enough to become obsessed . Then I became a novelist , that most isolating of all the writing professions , where you sit with a cat on your lap ( or I do ) , summoning lies from the ether , and having a full year to go mad about something that in a sense isn 't even real . I 'm not altogether sure that 's healthy , but I wouldn 't change my fortune for a round - tip ticket to the best trout stream in New Zealand . This afternoon , while sitting on a folding chair on a footbridge along the Drinking Horse Mountain Trail , I wrote " The End " to my fourth novel in the Sean Stranahan detective series . I 've not yet settled on a title , though the setting is Montana 's Crazy Mountains and it 's hard to pass up using the word . Lost in the Crazies , Deep In The Crazies , A Killing In The Crazies , any - the most apt would be the first , for I certainly was lost for a long time writing it . I 've said it before , but it bears repeating , that writing a novel is like setting sail for a distant land . You can see as far as the horizon , and that will get you a few chapters in , and at a certain point you 'll smell land or a shorebird will perch on your mast , and you 'll be able to see the end and work toward it with a sense of excitement - say over the novel 's last four chapters . It 's those 250 or so pages in between when you 're lost at sea , sharks circling , and no stars to take a bearing , that separate those who wish to write novels from those who actually do . READ THE REST HERE April 22 , 2014 · 5 : 20 am Poisoned Pen Video with Nevada Barr I thought some might be interested in seeing video of my event with Nevada Barr at the Poisoned Pen . She is quite a performer and I , well , I 'm the one wearing the reindeer socks ! It was thoroughly enjoyable , and I 'd like to thank Nevada for her generous invitation to share the stage , as well as Poisoned Pen owner Barbara Peters for putting me up at her lovely home in Scottsdale . Independent bookstore owners such as Barbara are the true knights in shining armor for struggling and best - selling authors alike . See the video here : http : / / new . livestream . com / poisonedpen / nevadabarr - keithmccafferty March 31 , 2014 · 3 : 33 am Writing The Gray Ghost Murders - Saved By The Birds ( and Oprah ) They tell you the second book is the hardest . You have all your life to write the first . Nobody expects anything to come of it , there 's no pressure but what you apply to yourself . And the third , well , you 've done it twice , you can do it again . But the second book , especially if your first novel came with a two book contract and a deadline , well that 's a different story . At the time I was trying to write The Gray Ghost Murders , my second novel in the Sean Stanching fly fishing detective series , set in Montana 's Madison Valley . The first , The Royal Wulff Murders , set a high bar , having received a red star review from Publisher 's Weekly and having been chosen by both the Mystery Guild and the Book of the Month Club . And Dominick was right , the publisher of Penguin Press was expecting something new from me and I was feeling the pressure . So far , my sheriff , Martha Ettinger , had managed to unearth the bodies of two older men , hence the title , from the slopes of a mountain called the Sphinx ; now my problem was getting Stranahan involved and figuring out how and why my gray ghosts had gotten buried there in the first place . As a writer I 'm what you call a muddler througher as opposed to an outliner . I start with a scene , I write the first line , the second is born of the first , and so the story develops . It 's like setting sail , you can see to the horizon , then you 're lost at sea . Finally you smell land , and you exhale the breath you didn 't know you 'd been holding the past few months when your inclination had been to jump overboard into the teeth of the sharks . As a way of writing a plot driven novel , this is not a method I recommend , but it seems to be the only way I can work . Still , I was muddling along admirably , despite the invisible gun to my head , when the birds appeared . To make a long story quite short ( you 'll have to read the Author 's Note at the end of The Gray Ghost Murders for the full tale ) , I took over the rearing of four baby Brewer 's blackbirds that had been transplanted , together with the spruce tree their parents had selected for a nest , some 140 miles on a flatbed trailer . Finding the transplanted nestlings I called the local wild bird rescue person , who told me to dispense with formalities and just call her Captain Marvel . I asked Captain Marvel if she would take on the rearing of the little darlings - after all , I thought naively , this is what such people do . Captain Marvel said , " Honey , that 's how we all start . " From that point forward , The Gray Ghost Murders emerged in fifteen minute bursts , for baby birds must be fed every quarter hour . It was sink or swim , not to belabor the ocean analogy , and the birds taught me to swim . Some three months later my blackbirds , fully feathered and boldly iridescent , migrated south . In another week , I completed the book . Yes , I thought , the plot worked . All that was left to do was hike up to Sphinx Mountain , which I hadn 't climbed in 25 years , to make sure the country in the novel matched the country of the gods . The week before , Montana Fish , Wildlife & Parks had tranquilized several grizzly bears in the area , taken their blood , administered other tests and released them , putting them in a bad mood when they saw humans forever after . I had visions of one sinking his teeth into my own ( slightly ? ) graying hair and wondered if the newspaper story of my death would help sales of the novel . A mauling may not have , for if it 's true that the second novel is the hardest to write , it 's equally true it 's the hardest sell . Eventually , Oprah 's Book Club resurrected interest by selecting it as " One of Five New Mysteries We Can 't Put Down , " and today many readers have told me it 's their favorite in the series . I would meet my personal Waterloo trying to write the third novel , but then that 's another story for another day . September 30 , 2013 · 5 : 00 am Dead Man 's Fancy : What 's your take ? The above is a mockup of the cover for the third Sean Stranahan mystery , Dead Man 's Fancy ( click on the image to see it at full size ) . Personally , I love it , but I wanted to post it here to get feedback from readers on the design - sooner the better . Leave comments or shoot me opinions on the Contact page . And thank you all for the help ! September 30 , 2013 · 4 : 49 am Notes from a traveling novelist I recently returned from a week in New York , the first few days at the invitation of the Outdoor Writer 's Association , which held their 86th annual wingding at Lake Placid in the Adirondack Mountains , the last three in Albany at Bouchercon , the international convention of mystery readers and writers . An interesting contrast in purpose and humanity that ended with great news - The Gray Ghost Murders is officially an Oprah Book , having been chosen last week by the Oprah Winfrey Book Club as one of the " Five Most Suspenseful Books Out Now . " Pretty cool . In fact way cool , and I 'll never hear a bad word against this great woman for the rest of my life . But back to New York . The OWAA people write for the greater good of our environment , carrying on the Theodore Roosevelt tradition of fish and wildlife conservation ; I actually was eating lunch with Scott Hed , Director of the Sportsman 's Alliance For Alaska , when he announced that Anglo American had pulled its support for the Pebble Mine in Alaska 's Bristol Bay , effectively ending the prospect that the controversial mine would be developed anytime soon . The mine could have spelled doom for the crown Jewel of Alaskan wilderness and the most productive salmon fishery on earth , and Scott had been the driving force , forming the coalition of commercial fishermen , Native Americans , and hunting and fishing groups that put the pressure on the mining companies . It was embarrassing for me to be considered one of this altruistic band of brothers and sisters , especially as I was the featured speaker the group had brought in and treated like royalty , being put up at the $ 500 a night Mirror Lake Inn , when even the OWAA director and program chair were sleeping a place so run down that the hotel offered to give them part of their money back . One woman had come all the way Iowa to hear me speak , saying that she knew if I read something she would cry . So it was a lot pressure to perform , as I committed to take part in a panel discussion about working with editors , as well as being the speaker for back to back sessions , the first hour on making the tradition from writing articles to novel , from " Fact To Fiction " as I called it , and then a two - hour session on " The Craft of the Narrative . " To prepare , I wrote down some introductory comments in an essay , which is posted on the website as " Why Narrative Writing Matters . " All went well , and I segued from being a big fish in a good - sized lake to being a small fish in a big sea indeed at Bouchercon . Going in , I didn 't know that it was primarily a readers event , that for every writer there would be half a dozen women toting around bags of books to be signed by their favorite authors ( and God bless them every one ) . I participated in a panel there , as well , my fellow panelists including New York Times best - selling authors and two writers who had movies in development . All were very well spoken and it was a little intimidating , but they were nice people and I held my own and got my share of smiles . Civilians at these writer events look at me as a bit of a Martian - the idea of a Field & Stream editor amuses them , and my story of hiking into the woods to survive for three nights with the clothes on my back and peeing on myself in the middle of the night because it 's too cold to crawl out of the debris hut is always good for a laugh . Then afterward it was a kick to go to the Private Eye Writer 's Dinner , where guitarists serenaded us with the theme music from Peter Gunn and the Shamus Awards were presented , and the next night was fun , too , at my agent Dominick Abel 's annual Bouchercon dinner party . I got to rub shoulders and lift a few with fellow clients including Max Alan Collins , who wrote " Road to Perdition , " and Rod Philbrick , whose young adult novel " Freak The Mighty " has sold 3 million copies and was made into a movie starring Sharon Stone . Philbrick is a great guy and a fellow fishermen who spends half his time in the Keys . Hopefully , we 'll do some fishing together down the road . And there were other in Dominick 's stable , all very accomplished writers who make me realize I still have a long way to go , the blessing of the generous and beautiful Ms . Winfrey notwithstanding . As hunters and fishermen , we have a need to tell stories . It has always been so , since the beginning of recorded time . The first stories that humans ever told , that we are aware of , are recorded in the pictographs painted on the cave walls of Lascaux in southwestern France . They are more than 20 , 000 years old . They do not tell stories of love or war , or of politics or philosophy . They tell stories of hunting . Paleolithic scholars believe that some of these drawings of bison , cats , bear and rhinoceros are accounts of past hunting successes and are a mystic ritual to improve the chances for success in future hunts . As outdoor writers , this is the tradition we come from . Our Paleolithic ancestors were the first storytellers . The need to tell our stories , to record them so that others might read them and learn from them and draw inspiration from them , is one of the oldest human impulses . It began with cave art and the oral tradition . As we developed written language , our hunting and fishing stories became narratives on pages made of papyrus , wasp nests , and finally wood paper . Narrative writing does not have to instruct , though it can instruct . It does not need to illuminate larger issues or reveal fundamental human truths , though the best of it can do that too . Its primary purpose is simply to tell a story . One of the greatest fishing stories I ever read was written by Roderick Haig Brown and began something like this : " I 've told this story before in different ways but as it is the best story I know . . .” - he then proceeds to talk about trolling in a rowboat for king salmon in a place where nobody had caught salmon before . There is no moral to his story except the unwritten one , that the best fishing , and hunting , too , has a sense of discovery at its core . Nobody wants to read a story about fishing for hire , a man casting his line where a finger points , or a man pressing the trigger after the guide has done all the real hunting . The gun writer Elmer Keith wrote one of the best hunting stories I ever read , and it was just his account of one soggy , rainy day 's hunt up on the Lochsa River in Idaho . Keith is the only one in the story , turning the bowl of his pipe down so the rain won 't put it out , and tracking elk , killing elk , and dressing them out in the dark , providing winter meat for his family and the families of those other hunters back in camp . Keith wrote stories as if he was telling them to a friend and in fact in his later years his stories were dictated . His detractors , and there were many , fault him for being ungrammatical and not having the slightest idea how to use punctuation , that compared to someone who had real writing skills like his nemesis Jack O ' Connor , the late great gun editor of Outdoor Life , Keith was a very poor writer . They entirely miss the point . Good writing may accompany good storytelling , as it does in Haig - Brown 's stories but isn 't necessary . A raw story , told straight , like Elmer Keith 's , is often better and more memorable than an elegant story that lacks narrative drive . The skill is not in the perfect crafting of sentences , but what those sentences say , the art of storytelling . Let me make that point in another way . When I was preparing this essay , I started by making a list of what are to me the greatest hunting and fishing stories ever written . Of those , only three were written by undeniably great writers . The are William Faulkner 's " The Bear " from Go Down Moses , " Big Two - hearted River " by Ernest Hemingway , and " The Short , Happy Life of Francis Macomber , " also by Hemingway . Let me excerpt a couple pages from the beginning of the " Short Happy Life . " " What had I ought to give them ? " Macomber asked . " A quid would be plenty , " Wilson told him . " You don 't want to spoil them . " " Will the headman distribute it ? " " Absolutely . " Francis Macomber had , half an hour before , been carried to his tent from the edge of the camp in triumph on the arms and shoulders of the cook , the personal boys , the skinner and the porters . The gun - bearers had taken no part in the demonstration . When the native boys put him down at the door of his tent , he had shaken all their hands , received their congratulations , and then gone into the tent and sat on the bed until his wife came in . She did not speak to him when she came in and he left the tent at once to wash his face and hands in the portable wash basin outside and go over to the dining tent to sit in a comfortable canvas chair in the breeze and the shade . Mrs . Macomber looked at Wilson quickly . She was an extremely handsome and well - kept woman of the beauty and social position which had , five years before , commanded five thousand dollars as the price of endorsing , with photographs , a beauty product which she had never used . She had been married to Francis Macomber for eleven years . " He is a good lion , isn 't he ? " Macomber said . His wife looked at him now . She looked at both these men as though she had never seen them before . One , Wilson , the white hunter , she knew she had never truly seen before . He was about middle height with sandy hair , a stubby mustache , a very red face and extremely cold blue eyes with faint white wrinkles at the corners that grooved merrily when he smiled . He smiled at her now and she looked away from his face at the way his shoulders sloped in the loose tunic he wore with the four big cartridges held in loops where the left breast pocket should have been , at his big brown hands , his old slacks , his very dirty boots and back to his red face again . She noticed where the baked red of his face stopped in a white line that marked the circle left by his Stetson hat that hung now from one of the pegs of the tent pole . In those short paragraphs , Hemingway introduces three vividly drawn characters and sets the stage for the unfolding of the story . A man has turned and run when charged by a lion . From here the story will flash back to the hunt for the lion , and then forward to the next day when Macomber must face his demons and try to resurrect his manhood while hunting Cape buffalo . It is a story of redemption . It is not only a great hunting story . It is a great story , and widely considered one of the most perfectly crafted short stories written in the English language . There are two things all these stories have in common that strike to the heart of great narrative writing . The first is that all three are fiction . " The Short Happy Life " was inspired by a story Hemingway heard about a titled European woman who accidentally shot her husband while on safari , and the white hunter , Robert Wilson , was based on two professional hunters who were friends of Hemingway , Philip Perceival and Bror Blixen . But the story itself came about in the customary manner - one person shutting a door and stringing together lies summoned from the ether . That 's not to say that all great writing has to be fiction - but all great writing draws from fiction ; it relies on fiction techniques . This shouldn 't come as a big surprise , for if it is true that ancient hunters and fisherman were the first storytellers , I 'm guessing it is equally true that they were the first liars . I can image some cave man finding a mountain goat that was killed in a rock slide and dragging it home to his cavewoman and while she cooks it , painting a picture on the rock wall showing the goat charging and the hunter standing firm with his spear . And her shrieking , " Liar ! Liar ! Liar ! " like the wife of Miracle Max in The Princess Bride when he 's trying to breathe life back into the Man in Black with a bellows stuck down his throat . And let 's face it , has that really changed in 20 , 000 years ? Who amongst us can honestly say that no one has ever accused him of stretching the truth in print , or at least around the campfire ? Where I live in Montana , I hear stories about 20 - inch trout being caught every day of the season ; I 've seen some of those 20 - inch trout , which invariably grow to 22 inches by the second telling , and they were 17 inches . Honest 20 - inch trout , unless you fish at night , come to the net once or maybe twice a summer . We are natural born liars . And this isn 't something to be ashamed about . In fact , it 's to our advantage . It gives us a leg up on other writers , those soulless city dwellers who read literature in which nothing ever happens but bad behavior and then , when they try to emulate it , find they may have ink , but what their pens lack is blood . I have a friend , Barbara Peters , who owns the Poisoned Pen Press and The Poisoned Pen Mystery Bookstore in Scottsdale , Arizona . Barbara has mentored a great many writers over the years and likes to say that a story that doesn 't work can be fixed , but that there 's no cure for a boring writer . You 're either interesting and vital or you aren 't , and we hunters and fishermen have the right stuff . It 's in our DNA . All we have to do is get out of way of ourselves and let the stories we were born to tell find their way onto the page . Now , there 's something else the three stories I mentioned have in common : They 're old . Really old . " Big - Two Hearted River " was written in the 1920s . " The Short Happy Life " was written in the mid ' 30s . " The Bear " was first published in 1942 . Great hunting and fishing stories , fiction or fact , endure . To my mind , the greatest true hunting stories ever written were Jim Corbett 's tales of man - eating tigers and leopards . I was six weeks in India following his footsteps . Much of Jim Corbett 's India no longer exists . Most of the tiger habitat in the India Corbett knew is no more , and in many areas the tiger itself has disappeared into the realm of myth . But the stories in " Man - eaters of Kumaon " are as thrilling to read today as they ever were . The greatest reading experience of my life happened when our Volkswagen bus broke down when my family was on a camping trip in the Rocky Mountains . We had to be towed into Denver to get a new engine put in the van . I was nine years old , and at one point , my mom dropped me off in a public library to read for a couple hours . My dad had told me about Jim Corbett and I found one of his books in the library . I thought I 'd only have time to read one story , so I chose the longest one in the book , which was " The Talla Des Man - eater . " On that first trip west from our home in Appalachia , I caught my first decent - sized trout , saw my first bear , saw the sun come up to illuminate my first ever mountains . But what I remember most is reading the story of a man with an abscess that threatened to explode inside his brain , who was in so much pain he could no longer sleep , and who , with one eye squeezed shut and his right eardrum destroyed , hunted on foot and alone , at night as well as by day a man - eating tiger in the foothills of the Himalayas . I opened that book wanting to lead a life of great adventure . I closed it wanting to write about it . I think what I 'm trying to say is that the craft of narrative writing matters . It has the power to move us in ways that other forms of outdoor writing can 't and the best of it is timeless . Read an article about how to catch fish and it is out of date in ten months . Read a piece about where to hunt elk and there may be no elk there by the time you shoulder your pack . Stories about gear are outdated before they are published ( in hardcopy , anyway ) . But read a great story and it stays with you the rest of your life . It doesn 't matter if you can 't recall where you read it or that the magazine you read it in has been composted and the paper returned to the earth . It is alive in your mind . When you are the writer of the story , it takes on yet another dimension . It becomes a record of those times in your life when you lived most fully . I have never kept a journal , I wish I had , but I 've written hundreds of stories and they run together to form of diary . Those stories are what I read aloud , hour after hour , as my father lay in his death bed , hoping but uncertain that he heard them , and those stories are the legacy I will pass to my children . This is who your father was . This is who his father was . This is what I thought about taking you hunting and fishing with me , before you were ever born . Take what you will from them . May 27 , 2013 · 10 : 36 pm Two Novels Down … A Writer 's Advice A few years ago , a fellow novelist gave me a piece of advice I didn 't give a lot of credence to at the time , having only started " The Royal Wulff Murders " and not really knowing what lay in store when the initial flush of excitement wore off . " I learned that if I wanted to write books the first thing I had to do was stop smoking dope . " As a child of the sixties I have to take the fifth when asked about partaking banned substances , but at the current stage of my life the advice seemed irrelevant . Of course he didn 't mean it literally - well , he did , but what he was getting at it was this : You need a clear head . A novelist puts a lot of balls into the air over the arc of a story , characters pop in and out , story lines start , stop , and start again , relationships change , tensions build , and everything has to be assigned a frequency of appearance as well as a specific gravity . Another way of putting it is that a cloud forms over your head , and your job is not only to form the raindrops but to release them from the cloud in a precise sequence and correct their trajectory so they hit the ground with the right force at the right time . When you start a book the raindrops come really easy . It 's fun , or as fun as writing ever gets . Then , thirty or forty pages in , it becomes work and stays work until you see the spot of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel . Then and only then does it become fun again . If you succeed or fail it 's usually because you didn 't have the perseverance it takes to wade slog through the unfun parts . Or you smoked too much dope . There are a lot of fifty page starts to novels collecting dust in a lot of desk drawers or taking up space on ancient floppy disks ( remember those ? ) , hard drivers , and flash drives . So my advice to aspiring novelists is keep a clear head , keep the raindrops coming , don 't expect the middle part to be easy , and finish the damned book . It will be the hardest work you 'll ever do without getting blood on your hands - which might go to field dressing and boning a bull moose by yourself in the wilderness . But that 's another story . 3 Comments April 7 , 2013 · 10 : 47 pm Tying a Grey Ghost Fly Learn how to tie the Grey Ghost , the fly for which my second novel The Grey Ghost Murders is named . A historical and beautiful pattern … Click on the images below that link to videos . The delightful sequel to The Royal Wulff Murders , continues the sort of River - Runs - Through - It / Spenser blend - plus fishing and collectible lures . When the graves of two men are discovered on Sphinx Mountain , Sheriff Martha Ettinger suspects murder . But with the only evidence a hole in a skull that might or might not have been caused by a bullet , she once more finds herself turning to private investigator Sean Stranahan for help . Stranahan already has a case , having been hired by a group of eccentric fly fishermen called The Madison River Liars and Fly Tiers Club to find a valuable fly that they suspect has been stolen . Could the disappearance of a vintage Gray Ghost from a riverside cabin in the Madison Valley be connected to the gray ghosts who haunt Sphinx Mountain ? Montana may be the main character here but Field & Stream columnist McCafferty - already working on books three and four - has the journalist / sport background of a Randy Wayne White and is a whiz with characters and dialogue , and he 's sure enough a Spenser fan . Think also CJ Box , Craig Johnson , William G . Tapply , and Peter Bowen .
|
I think those of us who want to be writers started as avid readers . I was fascinated by snakes growing up in the Appalachian hills , and it occurred to me at a very early age that adults didn 't know much about them , that they were prejudiced because of their ignorance . My grandmother was steeped in superstitions . She would place towels under the doors in her house so my snakes couldn 't slither in and would say things like , " For pity 's sakes , child , I see 'd that milk snake suck the breath from a baby . " I realized that the only way I could learn was to teach myself how to read , which I did with my mother 's help at about four years old . That was beginning of the journey . Later , I was enthralled by a volume of The Complete Sherlock Homes , which was so heavy it put a dent in my chest , and later still by Jim Corbett 's tales of man - eating tigers in India . I knew then that I not only wanted to lead a life of adventure , but to write about it , and by my teens I knew exactly what kind of a writer I wanted to be , and exactly whose job I wanted . My hero was Al McClane , the fishing editor of Field & Stream magazine , who was deliciously rumored to be a cold war spy . He had a beautiful daughter about my age , and my goal in life was to impress him , to marry his daughter and ultimately to take his place as the fishing editor . I did none of these things but I came close in the professional sense ; I wrote more than a thousand articles for the magazine and was even a finalist for two National Magazine Awards for my work . The road from magazine writing to being a novelist was long , but I was on my way . The one - word answer is the characters . One of the first things that struck me upon moving to Montana , some thirty - odd years ago now , was its diversity and the openness and collective humor of the people . In the East , it seemed , people tended more to stay within their socio - econominc / philosophicale / religious / political and age classes . But in the changing West , people from all walks of life walked together , talked together , hunted and fished together , shot pool over the long winters together . As the big old - family landholding broke apart and were sold in twenty acre allotments for second homes , as the economy changed from timber , mining and agriculture to tourism and fishing , with some counties such as my fictional Hyalite County running on money generated by trout slime , people of all different stripes were thrown together . You might have a state senator living in a riverside log mansion living next door to barista renting a rundown cabin , next to a medical marijuana grower , next to a fishing guide , next to a movie star . And they all know each other and are in a sense equal inhabitants of the land . This West contrasts with the Old West of Zane Grey and Louis Lamoure , two great writers writing a West that maybe never was . It also contrasts with current literature of the Rockies , which champions iconic loner lawmen in enormous empty counties - the admirable fiction of Craig Johnson and C . J . Box . Now their novels are relevant in the sense that their setting do still exist , especially in Wyoming , but the clock is ticking down on the wide open West and it is in a process of flux . My protagonist , Sean Stranahan , is a transplanted Easterner because I wanted him to observe this dynamic , and to see the country with fresh eyes that aren 't always comparing his vision with a disappearing ideal . When this series started , Sean Stranahan was a lost man recovering from divorce and searching for place to call home . He moved west because his father had always wanted to take him west to fish and had died before they could make that trip , and he didn 't much care what happened to him just as long as something happened . Which did , with a knock at the door , as soon as he put his shingle up - Blue Ribbon Watercolors , and , in discreet script he hoped nobody would notice , Private Investigations ) . As the sheriff , Martha Ettinger , put it , he was one of those people who would step into shit even if there was only one horse in the pasture . He was also notably sane , the center of a cast of eccentrics . Maybe too sane . He changed or , rather , Montana changed him , for the better I hope , and he found that in blue ribbon rivers and his relationships he had found not only a home , but a reason to live . Like Martha , he is a lonely heart not without lovers , and they circle each other , one 's shadow always upon the other no matter whose arms they are in - what could have been , what should have been , if the stars had only known better . They danced in the dark in The Gray Ghost Murders , danced apart in Dead Man 's Fancy . In Crazy Mountain Kiss . . . but no , I won 't give it away . One has to be careful when pairing characters up in plot driven novels . It 's not so much that married people are boring , but that the other half is hanging around and has to be dealt with . If he or she is not a part of the story , they slow it down . It 's the same reason you don 't want your main character to have a dog , because you 're always dealing with the dog . I broke that rule , because there isn 't a man in Montana , a single man anyway , who doesn 't have a dog . If you don 't have a dog , who 's there to talk to ? And now I 'm paying the price , constantly inserting little reminders into parenthesis - ( WHERE ' S THE DAMNED DOG ? ? ? ) . I have a few readers who complain that Sean doesn 't fish as much as he used to . But then these are not fly fishing novels so much as novels that have a little fly fishing in them - NPR 's Cherie Newman says I 've invented a genre , fly fishing noir - and sometimes Sean just has more important things to do than wave a rod . But don 't worry . He will always return to the river , for it is his reflection in the face of water that reminds him of who he was , who he is , and in its distortion , who he will be . Hopefully , some day , with Martha . Several years ago I helped host a dinner party in Key West ( my part was to cook antelope steaks I 'd brought from Montana ) and was having a drink with the tarpon fishing guide Simon Becker , who told the story of the infamous Key West mile high club , called " Fly Key West , " a service which offered " quickie " flights for couples who paid up to $ 350 to be flown around the island while they cavorted in a Piper Cub . The service included souvenir sheets and the option of having their couplings recorded on a voyeur cam ( " By Request Only " ) , the business coming to an abrupt end in 2001 when a couple in their sixties , posing as lovers , high - jacked the plane to fly them to Cuba . A struggle ensued with the pilot , who crashed the plane in the Florida Straits ; the plane sank , the pilot alone survived to tell the story . Only in Key West , I thought at the time , but then thought , " Why not Montana ? " Certainly there had to be sex clubs in Montana , though as a happily married man I had to look them up . I looked them up - there were plenty . Trade the plane for a forest cabin , up the elevation and viola - " The Mile and Half High Club . " It gave me the opportunity to write some quirky but sympathetic characters and is true to the nature of the area , which has never been at a loss for avenues of sexual escape . The police in Bozeman , my home town , recorded the names of some 600 local and transient prostitutes during just one calendar year in the 1880s , this in a town that started that decade with roughly a thousand people . Most were men , obviously , and evidently starved ones at that ! To do the work . East , West , South , it doesn 't matter where you 're from . This is easy to say , but ninety percent of success is showing up , as Woody Allen and lot of other people have said before . Just write the novels . Muddle your way through that 250 pages in the middle where most of the competition jumps ship , and then rewrite it until it 's as good as you 're going to get it . If I have learned anything traveling around the country and meeting other authors , it 's that those who have success , by which I mean they are working authors who make a living putting words together , it 's that they have achieved their status somewhere between books ten and twenty . So it 's never too early to start . Don 't set out to write the great American novel , and then rewrite it half your life ; write a lot of books until they start sticking to the wall . I do think younger writers have lost sight of this a little bit . I have been a panelist and presenter at many writing seminars and conferences , and it seems that the emphasis is more on the publishing end of the business than the writing aspect of it . But to get house published , as opposed to self - publishing , the work has to stand first . Tara Singh , a very wise editor I worked with at Viking / Penguin , said that writers are always telling her how many Twitter followers they have , as if that should be what convinces her to accept their book . It isn 't . And it 's okay to start small . You can learn more as newspaper reporter in three months than you might as a masters candidate in an MFA program . Write in different mediums - newspaper , magazine , poetry , blog , whatever . They feed off each other to make you a better writer . I know I 'm a better novelist for being a magazine writer ( I know how to meet deadlines , for example ) , and being a novelist has made me a more fluid and better magazine writer . Last , give yourself room to surprise yourself . I was a quote " literary writer " in the magazine world , someone who wrote thoughtfully and elegantly about his family . I thought that was my strength . But essays are driven by the declarative sentence , whereas novels are driven by character and dialogue almost entirely . Humor , character and dialogue came naturally to me ; they were my real strengths and I 'd never have guessed it . It only took me thirty years to find that out . In the immediate future , I 'm traveling to Cuba to fish . One of the great perks of keeping my hand in the magazine world is travel . I could do more if I had the time . Writing novels is a be - careful - what - you - wish - for profession . Crazy Mountain Kiss , my fourth novel in the Sean Stranahan series comes out in early June and I am contracted for two more , which basically means I work too much and fish too little . I do still enjoy the characters . I wrote my first novel , " The Royal Wulff Murders , " partly to amuse myself , and aimed to surround myself with characters I 'd like to hang out with . I 'm thankful that I will have more time to do just that . I 've also been working on a novel about children growing up in Appalachia , though that one 's sleeping the subconscious for the time being . This is strange business . When I was a crime / nightside reporter , I had my finger on the pulse of the city , knew everyone , could tell you all the back stories . A story for a newspaper took two hours . Then I became a magazine writer , taking a big step away from interactions with my fellow human beings . And a story took two days or two weeks . Still , not long enough to become obsessed . Then I became a novelist , that most isolating of all the writing professions , where you sit with a cat on your lap ( or I do ) , summoning lies from the ether , and having a full year to go mad about something that in a sense isn 't even real . I 'm not altogether sure that 's healthy , but I wouldn 't change my fortune for a round - tip ticket to the best trout stream in New Zealand . This afternoon , while sitting on a folding chair on a footbridge along the Drinking Horse Mountain Trail , I wrote " The End " to my fourth novel in the Sean Stranahan detective series . I 've not yet settled on a title , though the setting is Montana 's Crazy Mountains and it 's hard to pass up using the word . Lost in the Crazies , Deep In The Crazies , A Killing In The Crazies , any - the most apt would be the first , for I certainly was lost for a long time writing it . I 've said it before , but it bears repeating , that writing a novel is like setting sail for a distant land . You can see as far as the horizon , and that will get you a few chapters in , and at a certain point you 'll smell land or a shorebird will perch on your mast , and you 'll be able to see the end and work toward it with a sense of excitement - say over the novel 's last four chapters . It 's those 250 or so pages in between when you 're lost at sea , sharks circling , and no stars to take a bearing , that separate those who wish to write novels from those who actually do . READ THE REST HERE April 22 , 2014 · 5 : 20 am Poisoned Pen Video with Nevada Barr I thought some might be interested in seeing video of my event with Nevada Barr at the Poisoned Pen . She is quite a performer and I , well , I 'm the one wearing the reindeer socks ! It was thoroughly enjoyable , and I 'd like to thank Nevada for her generous invitation to share the stage , as well as Poisoned Pen owner Barbara Peters for putting me up at her lovely home in Scottsdale . Independent bookstore owners such as Barbara are the true knights in shining armor for struggling and best - selling authors alike . See the video here : http : / / new . livestream . com / poisonedpen / nevadabarr - keithmccafferty March 31 , 2014 · 3 : 33 am Writing The Gray Ghost Murders - Saved By The Birds ( and Oprah ) They tell you the second book is the hardest . You have all your life to write the first . Nobody expects anything to come of it , there 's no pressure but what you apply to yourself . And the third , well , you 've done it twice , you can do it again . But the second book , especially if your first novel came with a two book contract and a deadline , well that 's a different story . At the time I was trying to write The Gray Ghost Murders , my second novel in the Sean Stanching fly fishing detective series , set in Montana 's Madison Valley . The first , The Royal Wulff Murders , set a high bar , having received a red star review from Publisher 's Weekly and having been chosen by both the Mystery Guild and the Book of the Month Club . And Dominick was right , the publisher of Penguin Press was expecting something new from me and I was feeling the pressure . So far , my sheriff , Martha Ettinger , had managed to unearth the bodies of two older men , hence the title , from the slopes of a mountain called the Sphinx ; now my problem was getting Stranahan involved and figuring out how and why my gray ghosts had gotten buried there in the first place . As a writer I 'm what you call a muddler througher as opposed to an outliner . I start with a scene , I write the first line , the second is born of the first , and so the story develops . It 's like setting sail , you can see to the horizon , then you 're lost at sea . Finally you smell land , and you exhale the breath you didn 't know you 'd been holding the past few months when your inclination had been to jump overboard into the teeth of the sharks . As a way of writing a plot driven novel , this is not a method I recommend , but it seems to be the only way I can work . Still , I was muddling along admirably , despite the invisible gun to my head , when the birds appeared . To make a long story quite short ( you 'll have to read the Author 's Note at the end of The Gray Ghost Murders for the full tale ) , I took over the rearing of four baby Brewer 's blackbirds that had been transplanted , together with the spruce tree their parents had selected for a nest , some 140 miles on a flatbed trailer . Finding the transplanted nestlings I called the local wild bird rescue person , who told me to dispense with formalities and just call her Captain Marvel . I asked Captain Marvel if she would take on the rearing of the little darlings - after all , I thought naively , this is what such people do . Captain Marvel said , " Honey , that 's how we all start . " From that point forward , The Gray Ghost Murders emerged in fifteen minute bursts , for baby birds must be fed every quarter hour . It was sink or swim , not to belabor the ocean analogy , and the birds taught me to swim . Some three months later my blackbirds , fully feathered and boldly iridescent , migrated south . In another week , I completed the book . Yes , I thought , the plot worked . All that was left to do was hike up to Sphinx Mountain , which I hadn 't climbed in 25 years , to make sure the country in the novel matched the country of the gods . The week before , Montana Fish , Wildlife & Parks had tranquilized several grizzly bears in the area , taken their blood , administered other tests and released them , putting them in a bad mood when they saw humans forever after . I had visions of one sinking his teeth into my own ( slightly ? ) graying hair and wondered if the newspaper story of my death would help sales of the novel . A mauling may not have , for if it 's true that the second novel is the hardest to write , it 's equally true it 's the hardest sell . Eventually , Oprah 's Book Club resurrected interest by selecting it as " One of Five New Mysteries We Can 't Put Down , " and today many readers have told me it 's their favorite in the series . I would meet my personal Waterloo trying to write the third novel , but then that 's another story for another day . September 30 , 2013 · 5 : 00 am Dead Man 's Fancy : What 's your take ? The above is a mockup of the cover for the third Sean Stranahan mystery , Dead Man 's Fancy ( click on the image to see it at full size ) . Personally , I love it , but I wanted to post it here to get feedback from readers on the design - sooner the better . Leave comments or shoot me opinions on the Contact page . And thank you all for the help ! September 30 , 2013 · 4 : 49 am Notes from a traveling novelist I recently returned from a week in New York , the first few days at the invitation of the Outdoor Writer 's Association , which held their 86th annual wingding at Lake Placid in the Adirondack Mountains , the last three in Albany at Bouchercon , the international convention of mystery readers and writers . An interesting contrast in purpose and humanity that ended with great news - The Gray Ghost Murders is officially an Oprah Book , having been chosen last week by the Oprah Winfrey Book Club as one of the " Five Most Suspenseful Books Out Now . " Pretty cool . In fact way cool , and I 'll never hear a bad word against this great woman for the rest of my life . But back to New York . The OWAA people write for the greater good of our environment , carrying on the Theodore Roosevelt tradition of fish and wildlife conservation ; I actually was eating lunch with Scott Hed , Director of the Sportsman 's Alliance For Alaska , when he announced that Anglo American had pulled its support for the Pebble Mine in Alaska 's Bristol Bay , effectively ending the prospect that the controversial mine would be developed anytime soon . The mine could have spelled doom for the crown Jewel of Alaskan wilderness and the most productive salmon fishery on earth , and Scott had been the driving force , forming the coalition of commercial fishermen , Native Americans , and hunting and fishing groups that put the pressure on the mining companies . It was embarrassing for me to be considered one of this altruistic band of brothers and sisters , especially as I was the featured speaker the group had brought in and treated like royalty , being put up at the $ 500 a night Mirror Lake Inn , when even the OWAA director and program chair were sleeping a place so run down that the hotel offered to give them part of their money back . One woman had come all the way Iowa to hear me speak , saying that she knew if I read something she would cry . So it was a lot pressure to perform , as I committed to take part in a panel discussion about working with editors , as well as being the speaker for back to back sessions , the first hour on making the tradition from writing articles to novel , from " Fact To Fiction " as I called it , and then a two - hour session on " The Craft of the Narrative . " To prepare , I wrote down some introductory comments in an essay , which is posted on the website as " Why Narrative Writing Matters . " All went well , and I segued from being a big fish in a good - sized lake to being a small fish in a big sea indeed at Bouchercon . Going in , I didn 't know that it was primarily a readers event , that for every writer there would be half a dozen women toting around bags of books to be signed by their favorite authors ( and God bless them every one ) . I participated in a panel there , as well , my fellow panelists including New York Times best - selling authors and two writers who had movies in development . All were very well spoken and it was a little intimidating , but they were nice people and I held my own and got my share of smiles . Civilians at these writer events look at me as a bit of a Martian - the idea of a Field & Stream editor amuses them , and my story of hiking into the woods to survive for three nights with the clothes on my back and peeing on myself in the middle of the night because it 's too cold to crawl out of the debris hut is always good for a laugh . Then afterward it was a kick to go to the Private Eye Writer 's Dinner , where guitarists serenaded us with the theme music from Peter Gunn and the Shamus Awards were presented , and the next night was fun , too , at my agent Dominick Abel 's annual Bouchercon dinner party . I got to rub shoulders and lift a few with fellow clients including Max Alan Collins , who wrote " Road to Perdition , " and Rod Philbrick , whose young adult novel " Freak The Mighty " has sold 3 million copies and was made into a movie starring Sharon Stone . Philbrick is a great guy and a fellow fishermen who spends half his time in the Keys . Hopefully , we 'll do some fishing together down the road . And there were other in Dominick 's stable , all very accomplished writers who make me realize I still have a long way to go , the blessing of the generous and beautiful Ms . Winfrey notwithstanding . As hunters and fishermen , we have a need to tell stories . It has always been so , since the beginning of recorded time . The first stories that humans ever told , that we are aware of , are recorded in the pictographs painted on the cave walls of Lascaux in southwestern France . They are more than 20 , 000 years old . They do not tell stories of love or war , or of politics or philosophy . They tell stories of hunting . Paleolithic scholars believe that some of these drawings of bison , cats , bear and rhinoceros are accounts of past hunting successes and are a mystic ritual to improve the chances for success in future hunts . As outdoor writers , this is the tradition we come from . Our Paleolithic ancestors were the first storytellers . The need to tell our stories , to record them so that others might read them and learn from them and draw inspiration from them , is one of the oldest human impulses . It began with cave art and the oral tradition . As we developed written language , our hunting and fishing stories became narratives on pages made of papyrus , wasp nests , and finally wood paper . Narrative writing does not have to instruct , though it can instruct . It does not need to illuminate larger issues or reveal fundamental human truths , though the best of it can do that too . Its primary purpose is simply to tell a story . One of the greatest fishing stories I ever read was written by Roderick Haig Brown and began something like this : " I 've told this story before in different ways but as it is the best story I know . . .” - he then proceeds to talk about trolling in a rowboat for king salmon in a place where nobody had caught salmon before . There is no moral to his story except the unwritten one , that the best fishing , and hunting , too , has a sense of discovery at its core . Nobody wants to read a story about fishing for hire , a man casting his line where a finger points , or a man pressing the trigger after the guide has done all the real hunting . The gun writer Elmer Keith wrote one of the best hunting stories I ever read , and it was just his account of one soggy , rainy day 's hunt up on the Lochsa River in Idaho . Keith is the only one in the story , turning the bowl of his pipe down so the rain won 't put it out , and tracking elk , killing elk , and dressing them out in the dark , providing winter meat for his family and the families of those other hunters back in camp . Keith wrote stories as if he was telling them to a friend and in fact in his later years his stories were dictated . His detractors , and there were many , fault him for being ungrammatical and not having the slightest idea how to use punctuation , that compared to someone who had real writing skills like his nemesis Jack O ' Connor , the late great gun editor of Outdoor Life , Keith was a very poor writer . They entirely miss the point . Good writing may accompany good storytelling , as it does in Haig - Brown 's stories but isn 't necessary . A raw story , told straight , like Elmer Keith 's , is often better and more memorable than an elegant story that lacks narrative drive . The skill is not in the perfect crafting of sentences , but what those sentences say , the art of storytelling . Let me make that point in another way . When I was preparing this essay , I started by making a list of what are to me the greatest hunting and fishing stories ever written . Of those , only three were written by undeniably great writers . The are William Faulkner 's " The Bear " from Go Down Moses , " Big Two - hearted River " by Ernest Hemingway , and " The Short , Happy Life of Francis Macomber , " also by Hemingway . Let me excerpt a couple pages from the beginning of the " Short Happy Life . " " What had I ought to give them ? " Macomber asked . " A quid would be plenty , " Wilson told him . " You don 't want to spoil them . " " Will the headman distribute it ? " " Absolutely . " Francis Macomber had , half an hour before , been carried to his tent from the edge of the camp in triumph on the arms and shoulders of the cook , the personal boys , the skinner and the porters . The gun - bearers had taken no part in the demonstration . When the native boys put him down at the door of his tent , he had shaken all their hands , received their congratulations , and then gone into the tent and sat on the bed until his wife came in . She did not speak to him when she came in and he left the tent at once to wash his face and hands in the portable wash basin outside and go over to the dining tent to sit in a comfortable canvas chair in the breeze and the shade . Mrs . Macomber looked at Wilson quickly . She was an extremely handsome and well - kept woman of the beauty and social position which had , five years before , commanded five thousand dollars as the price of endorsing , with photographs , a beauty product which she had never used . She had been married to Francis Macomber for eleven years . " He is a good lion , isn 't he ? " Macomber said . His wife looked at him now . She looked at both these men as though she had never seen them before . One , Wilson , the white hunter , she knew she had never truly seen before . He was about middle height with sandy hair , a stubby mustache , a very red face and extremely cold blue eyes with faint white wrinkles at the corners that grooved merrily when he smiled . He smiled at her now and she looked away from his face at the way his shoulders sloped in the loose tunic he wore with the four big cartridges held in loops where the left breast pocket should have been , at his big brown hands , his old slacks , his very dirty boots and back to his red face again . She noticed where the baked red of his face stopped in a white line that marked the circle left by his Stetson hat that hung now from one of the pegs of the tent pole . In those short paragraphs , Hemingway introduces three vividly drawn characters and sets the stage for the unfolding of the story . A man has turned and run when charged by a lion . From here the story will flash back to the hunt for the lion , and then forward to the next day when Macomber must face his demons and try to resurrect his manhood while hunting Cape buffalo . It is a story of redemption . It is not only a great hunting story . It is a great story , and widely considered one of the most perfectly crafted short stories written in the English language . There are two things all these stories have in common that strike to the heart of great narrative writing . The first is that all three are fiction . " The Short Happy Life " was inspired by a story Hemingway heard about a titled European woman who accidentally shot her husband while on safari , and the white hunter , Robert Wilson , was based on two professional hunters who were friends of Hemingway , Philip Perceival and Bror Blixen . But the story itself came about in the customary manner - one person shutting a door and stringing together lies summoned from the ether . That 's not to say that all great writing has to be fiction - but all great writing draws from fiction ; it relies on fiction techniques . This shouldn 't come as a big surprise , for if it is true that ancient hunters and fisherman were the first storytellers , I 'm guessing it is equally true that they were the first liars . I can image some cave man finding a mountain goat that was killed in a rock slide and dragging it home to his cavewoman and while she cooks it , painting a picture on the rock wall showing the goat charging and the hunter standing firm with his spear . And her shrieking , " Liar ! Liar ! Liar ! " like the wife of Miracle Max in The Princess Bride when he 's trying to breathe life back into the Man in Black with a bellows stuck down his throat . And let 's face it , has that really changed in 20 , 000 years ? Who amongst us can honestly say that no one has ever accused him of stretching the truth in print , or at least around the campfire ? Where I live in Montana , I hear stories about 20 - inch trout being caught every day of the season ; I 've seen some of those 20 - inch trout , which invariably grow to 22 inches by the second telling , and they were 17 inches . Honest 20 - inch trout , unless you fish at night , come to the net once or maybe twice a summer . We are natural born liars . And this isn 't something to be ashamed about . In fact , it 's to our advantage . It gives us a leg up on other writers , those soulless city dwellers who read literature in which nothing ever happens but bad behavior and then , when they try to emulate it , find they may have ink , but what their pens lack is blood . I have a friend , Barbara Peters , who owns the Poisoned Pen Press and The Poisoned Pen Mystery Bookstore in Scottsdale , Arizona . Barbara has mentored a great many writers over the years and likes to say that a story that doesn 't work can be fixed , but that there 's no cure for a boring writer . You 're either interesting and vital or you aren 't , and we hunters and fishermen have the right stuff . It 's in our DNA . All we have to do is get out of way of ourselves and let the stories we were born to tell find their way onto the page . Now , there 's something else the three stories I mentioned have in common : They 're old . Really old . " Big - Two Hearted River " was written in the 1920s . " The Short Happy Life " was written in the mid ' 30s . " The Bear " was first published in 1942 . Great hunting and fishing stories , fiction or fact , endure . To my mind , the greatest true hunting stories ever written were Jim Corbett 's tales of man - eating tigers and leopards . I was six weeks in India following his footsteps . Much of Jim Corbett 's India no longer exists . Most of the tiger habitat in the India Corbett knew is no more , and in many areas the tiger itself has disappeared into the realm of myth . But the stories in " Man - eaters of Kumaon " are as thrilling to read today as they ever were . The greatest reading experience of my life happened when our Volkswagen bus broke down when my family was on a camping trip in the Rocky Mountains . We had to be towed into Denver to get a new engine put in the van . I was nine years old , and at one point , my mom dropped me off in a public library to read for a couple hours . My dad had told me about Jim Corbett and I found one of his books in the library . I thought I 'd only have time to read one story , so I chose the longest one in the book , which was " The Talla Des Man - eater . " On that first trip west from our home in Appalachia , I caught my first decent - sized trout , saw my first bear , saw the sun come up to illuminate my first ever mountains . But what I remember most is reading the story of a man with an abscess that threatened to explode inside his brain , who was in so much pain he could no longer sleep , and who , with one eye squeezed shut and his right eardrum destroyed , hunted on foot and alone , at night as well as by day a man - eating tiger in the foothills of the Himalayas . I opened that book wanting to lead a life of great adventure . I closed it wanting to write about it . I think what I 'm trying to say is that the craft of narrative writing matters . It has the power to move us in ways that other forms of outdoor writing can 't and the best of it is timeless . Read an article about how to catch fish and it is out of date in ten months . Read a piece about where to hunt elk and there may be no elk there by the time you shoulder your pack . Stories about gear are outdated before they are published ( in hardcopy , anyway ) . But read a great story and it stays with you the rest of your life . It doesn 't matter if you can 't recall where you read it or that the magazine you read it in has been composted and the paper returned to the earth . It is alive in your mind . When you are the writer of the story , it takes on yet another dimension . It becomes a record of those times in your life when you lived most fully . I have never kept a journal , I wish I had , but I 've written hundreds of stories and they run together to form of diary . Those stories are what I read aloud , hour after hour , as my father lay in his death bed , hoping but uncertain that he heard them , and those stories are the legacy I will pass to my children . This is who your father was . This is who his father was . This is what I thought about taking you hunting and fishing with me , before you were ever born . Take what you will from them . May 27 , 2013 · 10 : 36 pm Two Novels Down … A Writer 's Advice A few years ago , a fellow novelist gave me a piece of advice I didn 't give a lot of credence to at the time , having only started " The Royal Wulff Murders " and not really knowing what lay in store when the initial flush of excitement wore off . " I learned that if I wanted to write books the first thing I had to do was stop smoking dope . " As a child of the sixties I have to take the fifth when asked about partaking banned substances , but at the current stage of my life the advice seemed irrelevant . Of course he didn 't mean it literally - well , he did , but what he was getting at it was this : You need a clear head . A novelist puts a lot of balls into the air over the arc of a story , characters pop in and out , story lines start , stop , and start again , relationships change , tensions build , and everything has to be assigned a frequency of appearance as well as a specific gravity . Another way of putting it is that a cloud forms over your head , and your job is not only to form the raindrops but to release them from the cloud in a precise sequence and correct their trajectory so they hit the ground with the right force at the right time . When you start a book the raindrops come really easy . It 's fun , or as fun as writing ever gets . Then , thirty or forty pages in , it becomes work and stays work until you see the spot of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel . Then and only then does it become fun again . If you succeed or fail it 's usually because you didn 't have the perseverance it takes to wade slog through the unfun parts . Or you smoked too much dope . There are a lot of fifty page starts to novels collecting dust in a lot of desk drawers or taking up space on ancient floppy disks ( remember those ? ) , hard drivers , and flash drives . So my advice to aspiring novelists is keep a clear head , keep the raindrops coming , don 't expect the middle part to be easy , and finish the damned book . It will be the hardest work you 'll ever do without getting blood on your hands - which might go to field dressing and boning a bull moose by yourself in the wilderness . But that 's another story . 3 Comments April 7 , 2013 · 10 : 47 pm Tying a Grey Ghost Fly Learn how to tie the Grey Ghost , the fly for which my second novel The Grey Ghost Murders is named . A historical and beautiful pattern … Click on the images below that link to videos . The delightful sequel to The Royal Wulff Murders , continues the sort of River - Runs - Through - It / Spenser blend - plus fishing and collectible lures . When the graves of two men are discovered on Sphinx Mountain , Sheriff Martha Ettinger suspects murder . But with the only evidence a hole in a skull that might or might not have been caused by a bullet , she once more finds herself turning to private investigator Sean Stranahan for help . Stranahan already has a case , having been hired by a group of eccentric fly fishermen called The Madison River Liars and Fly Tiers Club to find a valuable fly that they suspect has been stolen . Could the disappearance of a vintage Gray Ghost from a riverside cabin in the Madison Valley be connected to the gray ghosts who haunt Sphinx Mountain ? Montana may be the main character here but Field & Stream columnist McCafferty - already working on books three and four - has the journalist / sport background of a Randy Wayne White and is a whiz with characters and dialogue , and he 's sure enough a Spenser fan . Think also CJ Box , Craig Johnson , William G . Tapply , and Peter Bowen .
|
Perhaps Madonna has an affliction that is causing her to have a British accent , even though she is from Queens or something . Like the woman in this story who apparently developed a British accent after having a stroke . I suppose there are bloody worse things that can happen , eh chum ? Your brain is more active sleeping than it is watching TV . I learned this while taking an IQ test . I have to believe though that if you take the IQ test enough times that it ceases to be a true indicator of your actual IQ and really just how well you remember the patters from IQ tests . It 's a memory test . My IQ is 138 , in case you cared . I 'm going to inactivate my brain now and set up my Christmas tree . For those of you who remember from last year , this is not one of my favorite things in life to do . But , there 's a hierarchy of my dreaded chores and this currently beats folding laundry and ironing the shirt I 'm thinking about wearing tomorrow . My dear friend HP2 ( who really needs to come out of the closet and get a name , though it 's kind of fun to call her HP2 because by default that means I 'm HP * 1 * ! ) shares many of my love hang - ups . In fact , she 's the main reason I survive most of my love crises , because she 's so much like me that she makes me feel less kookie . After all , how kookie can I be if someone else is like me too ? ? She was separated from her boyfriend for the last week and it caused her no small amount of strife because of their minimal contact . It was my turn to be in the reassuring role this time by advising her that " love makes the heart grow fonder " is indeed crap and in all reality , absence makes the heart grow more neurotic . Some of my own reactions when separated for more than a little while from my beloved . . . I will frequently check my cell phone to see if there are any messages . When there are no messages , I think that he must have left messages for me on my HOME phone . I check that too . No messges there , either . Well , it MUST be because he was planning to send me endearing emails in our absence . Nope . No emails either . By now , I 'm completely overwrought . It 's next to impossible not to get in touch in this day of extreme communication , so what can the answer be ? CARRIER PIGEON ! I scan the skies for birds carrying messages of devotion with little capsules of the tears he 's shedding from not being with me . No birds anywhere . Frankly , by now I 'm so annoyed that I don 't even miss him because I 'm just angry that he doesn 't miss me as much as I miss him . He probably has the NERVE to be out having a good time while we 're apart . I mean , yeah - - I 'm out doing stuff and having fun , but I 'm talking about him while I 'm doing it ! And he can 't even send a carrier pigeon , for pity 's sake . Of course , inevitably he will call in a perfectly normal amount of time but I 'm so underwhelmed by the dearth of previous contacts that it takes me a minute to realize that the one thing I was pining and hoping for is finally happening . I 'm snippy and non - committal . He 's left wondering why he bothered to call . My boyfriend does not have a sense of humor that meshes with that of many of my close friends . I accept that because , well , I think he 's funny and he DEFINITELY thinks he 's funny and so we have that in common and it works . I would consider that a disclaimer for the story that I 'm going to share and if you are one of those people who fall into that category you may want to just skip this one . . . Last night we 're getting ready to head out of the house to meet his friend for dinner and I ask him if he has anything resembling breath freshener . . . He mumbles something from another room that sounds mildly naughty and I ignore it and repeat my question . That 's when I hear him say that he has half a cock . Half a cock ? This is disturbing . What happened to the other half ? And which half are we talking about ? And HOW is that going to improve my breath ? Is the other half a whitener ? ? Turns out he said hot white cock . I 'm not sure that this was a better answer , frankly . Despite his belief to the contrary , there 's nothing breath - freshening about that ! He proceeded to sprinkle the word throughout the rest of the evening , singing along with songs on the radio and changing their lyrics to suit his hot white cock theme . And it was pretty funny , actually . But , it did help me clarify why not all of my friends think he 's as funny as I do . Cock just isn 't funny to everyone who isn 't in the 6th grade . It wasn 't always funny to me . In fact , I never would have used the word a year or so ago and now here I am out on the world wide web going off half - cocked ! ( Couldn 't resist . ) It 's really just a gradual wearing down the resistance of what you think is funny and the lines of appropriateness . My lines have never been that harsh anyways so it wasn 't a big stretch to get to where I am today . I 'm still more uptight than he is in most respects , but someone has to be or he might be cracking cock jokes in front of my parents . I try not to think of myself as uptight , but just reasonable . I 'm sure he would disagree . We went out for dinner this year . I 'd never done that before , even when I was single and orphaned in South Dakota I always managed to get a home - cooked meal for Thanksgiving . But , it just wasn 't possible to get it worked out . The people who wanted to cook couldn 't house the people who didn 't and the people who could house ' em didn 't want to cook . We were stuck . I tried to make the most of it . Be happy that we were altogether at least and no one had to wear themselves out cooking and stressing . But , it was just terrible . The food was buffet food and I 've never been fond of that . I guess I hoped that because it was a " special day " that the food would somehow become special . Nope , still just meat sitting in pans being kept warm by a light . Mm mm , good ! And it 's not even as if we got to enjoy each other 's company and chat because we 're at this big huge round table and there 's people all around and waiting for our table . We just ate til we got full and made sparing comments about the food . There was no nagging or threatening to drag the men from the football and do one darned thing to help get this dinner ready . There was no ceremonial belt un - buckling . There was no glowing over how well one person fixed this and how this other was my personal favorite . It was just dinner in a restaurant with 50 other strange , old people with thinning hair in wheelchairs . Never again . That was completely miserable , there is no way I could ever endure it again . I can 't believe that there are people who do that year after year and talk it up like it 's a good thing . Big time depressing . I didn 't even eat til I was stuffed , what kind of waste is that ? If I don 't feel guilty and self - loathing after a holiday meal then I really feel cheated . Is it so wrong to want the gravy that 's just a little lumpy and Scott 's perfect potatoes and the moist homemade turkey that 's got stuffing to go with it that 's moist but not soupy . Sigh . Yeah . Stay in and eat turkey people - - all the work IS worth it ! You 're stuffed on more than food after a meal like that - - you 're stuck on LOVE ! ; - ) Right now though , I just want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving . I truly do believe that today is a time of giving thanks for the gifts we have in our lives . Every day we are given a gift just to be alive and be present with one another . I appreciate the people in my life more than they will ever know - - particularly because I am so incredibly bad at showing it . I have had many friends and lovers come and go through the years and they all have touched my life in one way or another . Even the bad experiences I don 't regret because I learned SO much from them . We 're all just people trying to figure out what we 're doing here and isn 't it nice when you stumble across people that you enjoy figuring it out with ? ? People who truly make you better just for having known them ? I think most of us strive to be one of those kinds of people , but I know that I am rarely successful in that regard myself . But I do know that I will continue to feel blessed by the presence of good people in my life who lift me up when I am down and who help keep me there for as long as possible , always seeming to put their needs aside when mine are more than I can bear . Thanks to everyone who touches my life and brings me joy , love , peace , hope and so much much more . I do appreciate you , I do love you , I do hope that I can give just a fraction of it back to you . But I KNOW that many of you can 't live without my recap of Average Joe , so I had to get on here before work to sum it up . . . Yes , I know that I 'm the only one who really can 't live without it - - but Katrina does enjoy the mockery factor , so this is for her too . The fact is that the show is becoming a little Fox - like in its stunts and obstacles . Introducing the pretty boys was bad enough , but apparently next week they 're putting Melana in a fat suit just to hear how the guys talk about her . Cheap and cheesy , guys . I mean , I 'm not going to stop watching or anything but still - - it 's a ridiculous ploy . For those of you who care , I was pretty glad that she offed John . HP2 and I both agree that he was getting so annoying that he would have to be killed soon . ( This is one body that it turns out she WOULD help me hide . ) It was just too painful to see him waxing rhapsodic so many times about their date . He could think or talk of little else . . . I wonder how long it 's been since they were together in real time ? I wonder if he is still whining about it ? My guess ? Oh HE - ELL yeah ! That 's the problem with John . He possessed many of the characteristics that women think they want in a man , but raging insecurity and whininess go along with that and it 's just not cool . I really only have room for one whiner in my relationship and that is ME ! She also got rid of one of the pretty boys , which is refreshing . He wasn 't really all that pretty , frankly and he was sharing tidbits about his past that were like " Stalker , stalker , stalker " and she was right to cut him loose . Dude , he cried when he was cut , because he thought he was being judged for his looks again . How bizarre is that ? Pretty boys have problems too . Her date with Jason , one of the new guys , was disturbing . I can only hope that they were capturing this connection off - camera because the things that they were talking about were fairly mundane . Her voice - over was talking about how she felt this amazing connection with him and felt like she could talk to him about anything and then it shows her on - camera asking him if he liked dogs . Wow , really cracking open ground - breaking territory , aren 't we ? ? Oh my God , does he like pizza and apple pie and Mom too ? ? It MUST be love ! And now I 'm home and doped up on Aleve ( GREAT , great stuff by the way ) and I 'm thinking there is NO way I could do this regularly . I finally rolled out of bed about 11 , after lounging and reading a magazine for about a half hour . I forced myself to take a shower and then spend several hours lolling about in my bathrobe watching crap on tv . Real , true crap . My usual daytime fodder - - Dating Story , Makeover Story and a new one I got sucked in Second Chance . Followed by Ellen 's new talk show , which I also caught last week at the dentist 's office . I managed to go out to buy some egg drop soup and it was only as I was walking back to my car that I realized that my fly was all . the . way . DOWN . If I hadn 't already been feeling like crap I probably would have died right there . How embarrassing is that ? ? It was bad enough being out in public in my super - fat clothes with no makeup and a sore on my hand that looks festering and contagious ( I think I must have gotten an attack of the " itchies " in my sleep last night ) but to put the icing on that cake with the wide open fly . . . Well , I don 't really want to leave my house again . It 's sad . I will always be a dork . I remember looking forward to this time and age in my life with something akin to longing when I was a young , awkward girl thinking that I would finally have it together by now . I would be cool and with it and I think I 'm even less cool than I was then and I 'm not even sure how that is possible . But , how many cool pepole sit at home in their fat jeans watching TLC all day ? ? How many cool people own fat jeans ? I am mired in my own nerdiness and being ill only seems to amplify that feeling . Thank God I don 't own a TiVo , it would only serve to magnify my uncoolness with all of the dorky things I would choose to watch . And not even dorky in an intellectual kind of way . I think I 'm going to force myself to really work on my school stuff so at least I can be legitimately dorky for a little while ! ! I had a rather bizarre afternoon taking boudoir photos of one of my best friends . I never , ever want to see her cleavage again , not even in an extreme cleavage emergency . And the only purpose it served for me is to make me feel fat and PALE . And flat - chested . Sigh . Well , I could diet and tan and buy boobs , but who has time for that ? Anyways , the pictures were fun . I was waxing nostalgic over my one stint at boudoir type photos , all though mine were in a group and I kept ruining them by closing my eyes , so it really wasn 't the same . Often times , the cheesy shots turn out just as cheesy as you think , but every now and again you get a surprise winner ! Luckily , the girl is rather photogenic so she doesn 't have any real concerns . In other crevices from my brain - - I am wondering why I didn 't think to take classes a long time ago ! I get out of all kinds of shit just by saying that I have homework to do . I mean , most of the time it is true - - I DO have homework to do . But , it 's not always true that I 'm doing it . But if it keeps me out of the Nagging Zone then I am all for it ! I liked this movie , although my disbelief was swinging like a pendulum over my head the entire time . . . I think it 's my cynicism . There was some fairly syrupy moments in the film , although I never felt the need to vomit or crap because of them . The film is one of those many sides of many people 's lives and even though they are gently tied together , it 's not very tightly . Their relationships to one another is not of extreme importance . The problem is that there are too many of them for you to truly care too much about any of them . Young Sam madly in love at the tender age of 11 and the steps that his stepfather ( who is left as his sole caretaker now that his mum has passed away ) goes to to help him out are just awesome . That was far and away my favorite of the storylines . Hugh Grant as the Prime Minister who falls in love with one of his employees was pretty cute . There 's a " He 's a Hero " moments when he talks tough to the US President , as played by Billy Bob Thornton . The entire storyline didn 't make a ton of sense though , because he winds up letting her go because he caught her in a tangle with the President . ( No surprise , the President is a bit of a sleeze and is trying to mack on the girl . ) It resolves itself with him tracking her down on the dodgy end of her street and wishing random voters Merry Christmas . Another interesting storyline involved Colin Firth ( you may know him as Mr . Darcy to Bridget Jones ) falling in love with his housekeeper , who only speaks Portuguese . There are some cute exchanges between them as they struggle to communicate in their own languages , but ultimately I had a problem with the fact that he could fall in love with someone he didn 't even know . Am I this addicted to the need for communication and it 's importance in our lives ? ? You bet your ass . How can you fall in love with someone and not know anything about them ? ? That 's not love , people . Still , I love Colin Firth in spite of myself ( I had a wicked urge to watch The Importance of Being Earnest again . ) so I was pretty happy when he was marching through her village to sweep her off her feet , with all of the villagers in tow . There was a storyline involving Alan Rickman toying with the idea of an affair until his poor wife Emma Thompson finds out . Ho hum . Laura Linney chooses her mentally challenged brother over the hottie in her office that she 's had a crush on for " Ahm , two years , seven months , three days and , I suppose , and hour and thirty minutes " . Couldn 't understand that for a second and if you could have SEEN that guy , neither could you . A couple meets while doing stand - in for a porno , that was weird . Then there are the two best friends , one of whom is in love with the others wife . I didn 't get that one at all - - in the beginning it seemed as if they were gay and the one was forced to get married to some random girl . That was odd . And then there was the priceless Billy Mack , the aging rock star who 's trying to make a comeback with " Christmas is all around " ( to the tune of Love is All Around ) and he 's so over - the - top with his sex , drugs and rock & roll comments that you really HAVE to love him , actually . So , there it is . Is it worth going to see ? Yeah , I guess . But , if you wind up waiting for video you 're not going to be cursing yourself . Next up , I really want to see the damned Matrix Revolutions . What a pain - - I really don 't think that I am even going to like it that much , but I sat through the first two and I want to see how it all ends . That 's how they GET you ! Last night I was attempting to write about how Saturday nights are so different now that I 'm in the Relationship Zone . When we first started dating , it didn 't take long before we slipped into a routine of " let 's just stay in tonight . " While many parts of me enjoyed that , there was still a part of me that felt like I was missing out on something because I wasn 't out there too . It didn 't take long for me to get over that too . Saturday night became a night to settle in and just snuggle with my honey . ( Yes , the phrase makes me a little ill too but it 's mostly accurate . ) So , when the rare occasion comes up for me to go " hooting and hollering " ( as my Godmother puts it ) on a Saturday night - - it 's a bit of a challenge . I 'm not used to thinking about what to wear or where to go or how much makeup or all of that crap anymore . It often makes me think about what I would do if Scott and I were no longer together . Yes , I 'd be upset but life goes on and I know that I wouldn 't want to be single forever , pining over the loss . . . I 'd have to go back out there again . I 'd have to do the bar scene or the internet scene or whatever and there 's such an odor of desperation that hangs in the air in those situations , even in the most innocuous of places like the bar we went to last night . ( A 40 - something very drunk , very bald guy was trying to chat me up because I bummed a cigarrette . I suppose I owed it to him for the smoke , but I didn 't wanna . ) And here is where I digressed last night and where I digress again this morning . Because even though I have thought about what my dating pool would be like if I were single again , it 's only ever been in a surreal , distant kind of way . I love Scott . I can 't imagine being with anyone else who complements me more . ( I COULD imagine being with someone who COMPLIMENTS me more , but what 're you gonna do ? I could stand to compliment him more too . ) I feel like it is a betrayal of those feelings even to imagine another way of life . That 's why I wind up digressing , I guess it 's a loyalty thing . It 's disgusting , in a way - - but sometimes the truth is . Anyways - - a new post is needed to discuss the movie and I 'm over my own self anyways . Here 's what made me think of those things . . . I met this 22 year old guy at work who 's the new kid on our team . I say " met " although we 've just wound up having an email conversation and have never actually met . Background on that was that I sent out a group email to our team and included the phrase " teensy scolding " - - he must have thought this was funny and so replied to it . After I replied to that , we got to chatting . So , we mainly connected because of the commonality of blogging . I 'm a blogger , he 's a blogger , wouldn 't you like to be a blogger too ? We shared blog sites and I went to check his out . . . It 's that 20 - year old life that I couldn 't relate to when I was 20 - something all over again . ( I can 't link it because it 's not public , sorry . ) It 's the whole life of being hip and cool by virtue of the fact that you 're NOT hip and cool . His friends are into tattoes and piercings and quoting 80 's movies . The latter really pisses me off , because you were friggin ' born in the 80 's , find your own damned identity and quit trying to cop mine ! Seriously . It 's not MY fault that was the last time that they made teen movies that were cool . ( Although , how I can say that with a straight face is beyond me given the number of Saturday afternoons I have farted away because Bring it On or 10 Things I hate about You were on . ) One of the reasons that I do not regularly associate with people who are much younger than me is because it reminds me of my wasted youth . I never really had a formative period in my early 20 's that defined who I am even to this day . Seeing it so raw and exposed really makes me feel OLD . And I am NOT old . And I am not in denial ! That 's why I can never really understand the attraction for younger men . It 's not like they have an understanding of cellulite and wrinkles . Biological clocks . Whatever . There 's none of that in their world which means you 'd have to work that much harder to stave off yours . Ick . One of the benefits of being with someone older is that not only am I free to get lumpy , I 'm nearly expected to do so . THAT is freedom , for real . I suppose it would keep me on my toes but who wants that ? I 'd rather relax . It 's nothing against younger guys or the women who are with them . ( You know who you are , Demi Moore . ) It 's not like I don 't understand the appeal of young dumb and cute , I invented the catcall YDC for pity 's sake . It 's just not for me . 1 ) Do you realize that we 're never going to know what English really sounds like ? We were watching something and the people were speaking Chinese and we were trying to describe what it sounded like . That 's when I realized this . English is never going to sound like another language to us , so we have no idea if it sounds pretty or ugly or hard or soft or WHAT to people who don 't speak the language . I think that 's pretty fascinating , actually . 2 ) I realized that crux of 90 % of my relationship issues boil down to one simple controversy . It is our conflict over " why won 't you tell me this ? " vs . " why do you need to know ? " ALL of our problems pretty much come down to this one simple thing . I am excessively curious ( it 's genetic , let 's get serious ) and he is excessively taciturn with information . There are things that I want to know and he doesn 't want to tell me the answers , mainly because he doesn 't understand WHY I need to know . I don 't see why it matters . Just tell me . I got up early to go do the testing thing . English went surprisingly well , but I knew the Math was going horribly awry when I suddenly got a warn message on my screen that inquired , " Do you even know how to give exact change ? " Frightening . I got my lousy scores and I was instructed to go talk to a counselor . Oh joy . One of my favorite things in LIFE ! I waited for an hour , cracking random jokes to anyone that was willing to listen . ( I had a captive audience , what can I say ? ) I finally met with a counselor who was actually helpful , which was unusual . [ Sidenote : One of the actual test questions on my pending Psych 105 final has to do with describing my feelings while I 'm on campus . I thought I 'd share some of those with y ' all in lieu of today 's jaunt on campus . . . My thoughts were that I feel old , fat and uneducated . I have an acute awareness of my self - esteem problems as they pertain to my lack of education . I see all the different people , all wrapped up in their own thoughts and I wonder just HOW different can the really be ? ? Then I hear some of their thoughts spoken out loud and because so many of them are young , they seem less fettered , less in line with any reality that I know anything about . Oh well . ] So , anyways - - registered for classes ( for those of you taking notes , Philosophy and Oral Communication , focusing on effective communication skills ) and then off to the dentist . Oh boy - - where I got to fork over $ 116 to have 2 teeth filled . Sigh . But , what 're you gonna do ? I REALLY like my dentist and she happens to be out of the network . It 's pretty rare that I need major dental work , and the regular visits don 't cost me anything - - so I keep going . But , now it 's costing me . But , that 's okay because CHRISTMAS BONUS IS COMING ! Start submitting your gift requests right away ! Nothing to make you feel like an idot more than an assessment test . I haven 't even taken it yet and already I I feel like a loser . I 'm 30 . Years old that is . A lot of those years have been spent away from anything resembling normal English or Math . ( One quick glance at this Blog and my checkbook can confirm that ! ) But , now I 'm going to pay $ 4 ( American ! ) to get assessed in those areas . It 's humiliating . I 'm nervous . The truth about my lack of intelligence is unsettling . I try to justify any potential failing by how long it 's been since I 've been separated from it , but that 's a bunch of crap . Plenty of the people that I know have been separated from it just as long as I have and they remember . They remember . They work on it , I don 't . I just can 't even remember caring about this stuff . I 'm happy for her in a way , but the thing is that I 've had a pizza in my refrigerator for longer than they 've been dating . It 's discouraging . They 're not the only ones with the wedding bells on the horizon either , meanwhile I seem to facing happily NEVER after ! But , as long as I 'm not bitter about it then that 's okay , right ? I 'm not bitter . Much . But I just have glowing syrupy fantasies about fabulous proposals in made in carriage rides with the colors flying and the birds swirling and all that crap . I 've seen too many Chick Flicks and I have just overly romantic ideas about how it 's " supposed " to be . It 's ridiculous . I suppose if I had been proposed to the first time around then my feelings may be different . But I wasn 't . It was just , " do you think we should . . . ? Yeah , I guess so . " I daresay that I may have even been the person who initiated the talk , not something that I 'm proud of . But , that 's another blog . So , I have this fantasy virginal dream about how it 's going to be and how all of the days after will be . In my mind , we 're this DIY couple who live at Home Depot and " had " to buy a pickup truck because of all the projects I " make " him do . Trust me , the fantasies are way out there - - I cook in them , for God 's sake . I don 't know . It 's just the idea . Of someone wanting , nay CHOOSING , to spend all of his days with little ole me . Little ole me , with my BIG ole mouth and lofty dreams . But the plot thickens as the producers conjure up 3 more competitors - - Yummy , Zummy and MmHmm . ( Although , frankly - - and I am NOT just sucking up to my boyfriend here - - they really didn 't do much for me . Yes , they have sexy longish hair and abs that you could cut down trees with , but they just don 't seem charming really . ) I think this sucks , because here this poor schleps had to fight tooth and nail to NOT get eliminated over like what ( ? ) 13 other guys ? Even Zach was disconcerted , which was nice for a change . Here 's the thing - - we 've just got stereotypes feeding into more stereotypes . The Average guy is not going to get the Beautiful girl , because the Handsome guy is always going to sweep in at the last second and " steal " her . The problem is that the Beautiful girl could never really be " won " by the Handsome guy if she weren 't on some levels ultimately shallow . ( Sorry , but it 's true . ) Of course , plenty of Handsome guys happen to have stellar personalities to go along with their looks , but seriously - - how often does this happen in real life ? ? ( Except for you , honey . We know you 're good and not just looking . ) Approximately never . Most of the time the Attractive people are not really blessed with great senses of humor or stellar intellects or whathaveyou , because why do they need both ? ? Even if they HAVE both , they just aren 't going to display that because it doesn 't really work like that . Okay . I 'm sneezing AND hiccuping at the same time and it just doesn 't get more annoying than that . And yes , Elizabeth - - I am thinking about a grapefruit and I mean it . Maybe I have to think about a fruit I actually like and mean it ? Hit the comment button , if you can see it ! : - ) I very desperately wanted to just crawl under the covers today and make the world go away . Helped some friends move yesterday ( as much help as I can be , 200lb weakling that I am - - har , har ) and I could barely lift my arms to wash my hair . I go to slap on some war paint to cover my fatigued face and discovered that I left the " good stuff " at Daddy 's house . . . So deep runs my vanity that I almost went over there just to do my face before work and then I got over myself and used the " not - as - good stuff " to do my face with . Then I just snarled at people all day , which works wonders for your appearance . Couple that with a To - Do list that was literally 4 pages long and a minor power play with my boss and all in all - - NOT a stellar day . ( It 's not literally a To Do list but to explain what it literally means would be boring and UNfascinating to everyone but Katrina ! ) [ God bless Katrina , by the way , for being interested in that boring crap . Makes me feel like slightly less of a drudge . Not much , but slightly . ] Where was I ? Yes . So , bad day . And it was Monday to boot . All in all , not much to blog about but damn it someone 's got to be prolific and it might as well be me . So , I will explain the power play thing with my boss and if anyone wants to toss out suggestions I 'll be happy to field ' em . The thing is , I love my boss . I really do . But she and I are a LITTLE too much alike at times and the bottom line is that she 's the one in charge at the end of the day so I 'm never going to be right in situations where she doesn 't agree with me . She has this thing that she does when she is a little miffed at one person where she will drag ANOTHER person into the conversation . I was on the receiving end of this today . She asked me a question and then she didn 't like the answer I gave her , so she dragged another co - worker into the fray to " back her up . " I understand , on some levels , that it was NOT that serious , but I didn 't like it . To be fair , I am more often than not the employee who is brought in to " back her up " and I don 't like that either . Both ways , it puts me in a poor spot . But , the fact of the matter is that in order for me to keep things the way that I like them , I can 't really call her out for doing it to me because that moves my position in this little game . I don 't like it but she 's going to keep doing it and it works to my favor more often than not . Evil Corporate Heather , bet y ' all didn 't know that I had it in me , did you ? The fact is that I don 't . However . I 've always been one to play the hand that 's dealt me . And this is the first time in some time where I 've been dealt a pretty good hand AND been in a position to bet on it . Ick . It 's disgusting even to me . I 'm gonna go have some wine and Easy Cheese , the cure - alls for what ails ya ! On the way home from work tonight , I tuned in to one of my favorite radio stations The Point . They 're doing a radiothon currently for the local children 's hospital , and being the terrible person that I am I don 't listen too much during this timeframe because my heartstrings get pulled and I 'm not giving them any money . The guilt emanating from the radio triples . . . And it got even worse tonight as I tuned in just in time to hear the tail end of the story of a woman whose young son died a few years ago . I guess the hospital must have been very supportive during the timeframe , but I just heard that he died . It was pretty sad , she sounded young - - he must have been very young , etc . But I cracked when she said that she got to meet the young girl who received his heart this past February . Can you imagine ? Your child has died and despite the incredible amount of pain you 're suffering as a result of that you somehow muster the courage to give consent for organ donation and someone else 's child is living as a result of your incredible loss . And I think that as awful as your loss must be , that must somehow make up for it . That 's why I 'm an organ donor . Not that I think that others will be able to soldier on after I 'm gone because my liver ( hm , bad example - - my kidney , how bout that ? ) lives on in another , but knowing that I can give that gift does me a world of good in my heart for all of the things I DIDN ' T do while I was around to do them . I 'm going to be dead , I am NOT going to be needing what I 've got left where I 'm going . ( Especially where I 'm bound to go . ) So , why not fork ' em over ? Seriously . What reason does any person who believes they have a soul have for NOT being an organ donor ? Everyone that knows me , knows that my mother is insanely curious about my mundane life . She read my diary when I was a teenager , and I caught her reading my email a few years ago and both times it caused a MAJOR upheaval in my life . Tears and screaming and the whole nine yards . It was ugly . But , now - - the Onion has once more sent a ripple of fear through me with this article . After all , she wouldn 't have to do anything TOO terribly sneaky to find me here , chronicling boring life stuff ad nauseum . One good reason NOT to use your last name in your blog , people ! Keep Mom and her Google happy self away from wild drunk references and whatnot . Good Lord - - still , it was pretty damned funny . " Widmar said he expects his site to provide Lillian with ample cause for worry . " I love the Onion . I never remember to read it , but I do like it a lot . 1 . Yes , I know that the cnn story turned out to be a fake . I mostly suspected that , but I 'm mildly taken aback that it was somehow linked to a cnn story without repercussion . Nevertheless , y ' all can stop telling me . 2 . How would I live without Febreeze ? Those last minute " oops , I really shouldva washed this but I really want to wear it ! " moments would be a disaster without it . 3 . I 'm thinking of moving the blog over to Salon . com but not sure what would happen to all the stuff HERE . Would it sit in cyberspace forever for me to come back and visit it and remember when fondly ? Who can tell me this ? DAVE ! ? Then look no further kids - - because I 've just become a role model . Yup . Shaping tomorrow 's leaders , that 's me . Only on a much , much smaller scale - - I 'm a pen pal to a fifth grade girl . Already the selective process has begun , I had to choose based on the name alone . Let me throw a little background . . . My company has several local volunteer activities that it particpates in and one of them is a pen pal exchange with local students . I signed up several months ago because I thought it would be kind of fun to hear life from the elementary school vantage point . Perhaps take a wee bit of the edge off of old Heather and kick start that old biological clock . Who knows ? Crazier things have happened . ( Sidenote : It 's not so much that I 'm concerned that my biological clock isn 't ticking as I am concerned that I 'm not concerned . Or something . ) Anyways , for some reason it kept getting put off . I almost forgot until I got an email today announcing that the program was finally getting underway . I thought we 'd already have a letter , but apparently we have to kickstart the whole thing . There was a list of boys and girls at the elementary school that 's participating in the program . Well , I didn 't have anything to say to fifth grade boys when I was IN the fifth grade and turns out my feelings haven 't much changed . ( Although , don 't I wish someone had said a thing or two to that lousy Sean whateverhislastnamewas ? ? He sure was mean to me and it wasn 't all my fault I was chunky and geeky , was it ? ) So , I sorted through the list of names and I realized that we were supposed to decide based solely on NAME . That seems like a prejudicial thing , too . If you don 't have a cool name or your name is too odd , you 're back to being picked last in gym class again aren 't you ? I guess they don 't know that , but I didn 't much like it . And I got the girl with the coolest name anyways . They had a Get to Know Your Pen Pal form that they encouraged us to use . It was crap . Here are some of the questions and some of the possible problems . . . . What college did you go to ? You mean until I flunked out ? Or rather , til I ran away across the country with a no good scum - sucking scumbag who wound up ruining my life ? That story is probably best held off until the girl 's teenage years , when she 'll likely be able to relate . What do you like best about your job ? Why ? It doesn 't make me want to cry my heart out every day thinking about how I 've sold my soul to the man as much as my last job did . That 's not true , but even though I like my job and can explain to grown - ups what it is I like , an 11 year old girl will think that 's the most boring thing in the world . I 've already been rejected by 5th graders when I was IN the fifth grade , I 'm not looking for a repeat performance . I want to pretend to be cool . Please describe your family . We put the FUN in dysfunction ! Do you know what dysfunctional means , honey ? But seriously , how do you answer this question ? I suppose it 's applicable if you 're like married with kids . Doesn 't apply . What kind of car do you drive ? I hate this . I drive a Kia . And not even a fun Sportage , just a Spectra . A model that many people still don 't even know exists . I know this because I look at automobile policies all day and I almost never see anyone with a Kia . What kind of books do you like to read ? How do you describe Chick Lit to an 11 year old ? I like to read books about desperate yet spunky single girls who find love right under their noses just when they have decided they 've given up on love . But my PERSONAL favorite was What do you like to do in your spare time ? It goes without saying that most of these things can 't even be documented in the blog , so deep is my paranoia but definitely can 't be recounted to a young girl . I like to whip up batches of Green Jesus and get my boyfriend to enforce them on my friends at parties where they are dressed in their pajamas . Anyways . It should prove interesting . At the very least I may have fodder for my " column . " At the very most I may learn a thing or two from this young girl . But , I really do think that only happens in Hallmark movies of the week . Wouldn 't I be so great in a Hallmark movie ? Maybe they could do a spin off and do Shoebox movies ! THAT would be the perfect venue for me ! Well , not really . But it seemed like a nice title . And there are some things that I realize about the beautiful Melana that I see in myself . Not the beautiful part , to be sure . But , I have often been seen as the cute , kinda ditzy ( in a bitingly sarcastic way ) girl . The party girl . I 've never really been taken very seriously and a large part of that is the image that I project . I accept that I have created that fate . . . But . It 's nice when I am taken seriously . When people listen to my opinions . Especially men . One of the things that initially attracted me to Scott was how he would talk to me about everything and actually seem to seek my opinion . And furthermore , actually seem to listen to my opinion and value it . That meant a lot to me , because I see him as being this incredibly smart guy who knows a lot about a lot of things . I see this in Melana too . That she is attracted to the guys who treat her as something more than a beautiful girl . Tareq ( far and away the intellectual " snob " of the group - - he 's only 21 and is working on the dissertation for his Ph . D and has already been to over 60 countries ) basically secured his spot in the final 6 when he said , " It is the simplicity of your complexity that is the catalyst for my attraction to you . " Sure , he ate a dictionary for breakfast and was obviously burping it up , but that 's just a sexy thing to say to someone . HP2 says that it was just a bullshit line - - and I say DUH ! They 're all bullshit lines , men just want to get in your pants until they 're in them . They will say whatever they need to to get there . Then they cease trotting out the good lines until they want to get in your pants again . I 'm honestly not even bitter about this anymore . I wish that it were possible to keep the lines in a bottle so you could open the bottle later on when the lines are few and far between , but it just doesn 't work like that . Anyways . . . I 've veered way off course . The only major surprise is going to be is if she doesn 't wind up with Zach . He 's pretty much the stand - out of the group because he 's pretty attractive . Most of these other guys were the ones who were ( admittedly ) picked last for most events in gym class and who 've battled being different their whole lives - - he 's the one they 've been battling against . It 's just that simple . And he 's going to win again . She " feels natural " with him . Of course , he 's attractive - - she 's attractive . They have this connection over their chemistry . It 's depressing . You want the Underdog to win the pretty girl and you just know it 's not going to happen . I feel like that underdogs got cheated when the producers slipped in one purebred dog . His only redeeming quality is that he got all choked up when Dennis got voted off . . . Ah , Dennis . He was EVERYONE ' S favorite underdog . ( Everyone except for Brad , the back - stabbing whacko who should 've been cut . ) He was a bit older than most of the other guys , his teeth were all the same size , and he was mostly deaf in both ears . I have a soft spot for people with hearing problems , I can 't help it . Plus , he was just such a sweet guy . He would 've given anything to help anyone . He even washed one of the guy 's shirts in the first episode when Zach the Jerk cracked an egg on his head . ( THAT guy got voted off tonight too - - he admitted to dunking Zach 's toothbrush in the toilet the morning after that incident . Good ! ) Yeah . I 'm WAY too into this shit . Right now , I don 't really have a favorite guy remaining . I was rooting pretty hard for John - - until he launched into his Vienna Boys Choir routine around the campfire . He was trying WAY too hard and it 's painful . Particularly because Melana is never going to be mean to his face , but makes some disparaging comments on camera when they 're not together . It was a slight mystery why she kept him , but I think it 's just the guilt of the rejection . He 's obviously so into her and she couldn 't really care less . So , I guess I 'm leaning towards Adam . Only because he made a very slight comment about how he was the one who was always picked last in gym class and how hard the rock - climbing date was for him . He really tried to do it and just couldn 't make it . I related to that . He wasn 't overly crushed by it but he wasn 't trying to justify it either . So , we didn 't really get more insight into him than that - - but I 'm hoping he opens up more . John 's going to have to work hard to overcome his over - eagerness . That 's not something that 's going to work on a girl like THAT ( it works on me like a charm , but then again - - I 've never really had anyone who was over - eager to be with me so maybe I just think it would work on me . ) , but then again who knows ? I have SO got to get a hobby . One thing I WAS right about - - she saved all the fat guys last time so she could eliminate ' em this time . No one over 200 lbs is left . It 's kind of sad . So , I didn 't even mention that I was at the hairdressers because I was revamping my highlights . Wound up having a significant portion of my hair hacked off too . I really like it . I think it makes it a lot bouncier , which suits my personality ( on the 10 1 / 2 days per month that I 'm actually in a good mood ) . I don 't think that Scott is crazy about the shortness , but the nice thing is that when I like my hair enough then I don 't need the validation at all . It 's VERY unusual for me to not need the validation , so that means I really like the hair . We went on a double date last night with my friend Karey and her boyfriend Kevin . We went to a bar for karaoke and I 'm really starting to realize how old I am when I go out . After a while , the loud music and all the smoke really gets on me . And I 'm still a social smoker , but barely . I smoke just enough that I feel silly for still doing it . But , I digress . None of us wound up singing , just wound up going back to Scott 's place to hang out and play drunk Jenga apparently . That was weird . I was essentially mocked for not having participated in too many drinking games . And now here I am going back to college and still missing out on all that ! Today , I went over and helped my friends Dave and Jen ( sorry guys , I know you prefer the full - length version of your names but it 's just not going to happen from me ) try to get their house ready to be moved into next weekend . I did very little but they were apparently grateful even for the pathetically small amount of stuff I did . That 's what was so hard for me when other people tried to help me do things in my house . I knew they wanted to be helpful and I knew I wanted their help but if I had to tell them exactly where I wanted everything and how I wanted it all the time , then I might as well do it myself . You feel like you WANT to help but you feel so powerless because no matter how you do someone else 's stuff , it 's just not going to be to their complete satisfaction . Still , they made me actively pine to have a house that I was attached to and wanted to fix up . I instantly began coveting a house project . It 's ridiculous . I have at least 10 cosmetic things I could do around here and that 's just from the top of my head . But , I don 't love this house and I never will . It just doesn 't feel like HOME . I don 't walk in the door and breathe a sigh of relief . . . I wonder how soon I can get out and do something again . It 's sad . I always thought that I would wind up being a putterer . Becoming an HGTV addict and learning how to do things and so forth . I never did . So , even knowing that it 's within my power to do all of the stuff that they are doing around their house , I still can 't get motivated to do it here . I do know that I will never buy a house again that I don 't love enough to take care of . I think that Scott has the putterer desire too and has done some minor things around his house , but he also hasn 't done as many things as he would like to do . I don 't think it goes to the bizarre level of him not being attached to his house , because he seems to like it a lot - - I 'm not really sure what his reason is . Finances , perhaps - - because that 's part of mine . Plus , I always envisioned myself puttering WITH someone . Getting inIt 's love , Home Depot style . I think that the advent of all the fixer - up shows that focus on couples ( Trading Spaces , While You Were Out and Designing for the Sexes to name a few ) has created this vision that that 's what domestic bliss really means . Plus I grew up watching my parents do things together . . . Well , my mom nagged my dad into doing various projects and he just went along . It 's funny because even though Home Depot is the " man store " , it 's creation was really necessitated by a bunch of women bugging their significant others to do projects around the house . . . Anyways , I 'm rambling into overtime now and Carnivale will be on any minute . It 's still really weird and I still don 't really get it . I imagine they 'll be getting ready to cancel it by the time I figure out if I really like it or not ! Was at the hair salon today and saw the ugliest woman I have ever seen in my life . I always feel sorry for people who are just empirically unatractive . What is there to work with there ? Wax your brows , babe - - at least then you 'll have two . My goodness . I hate to be so cruel but she was ugly and then she had the ugly girl personality that goes along with it . Whining about how mistreated she is by the world and the little things that people in her office do that just bug her . Not to mention how she got into the lengthy discussion about how implanting computer chips into children is a good thing because then they can never really be lost . Also , I realized last night that old people will keep all you can eat cheapie buffets alive forever . Here 's why . . . As our grandparents slowly pass away , we will start going to those kind of places out of nostalgia for the days that Nana took us there . . . Next thing you know - - we 're the old people at the Country Kitchen Buffet . It just happens . Note to the few men out there - - if your wife / girlfriend / significant other says that they are starting to look old , this is NOT an invitation to not only agree , but point out in exactly what ways they are starting to look old . This is a plea for a relatively sincere sounding statement that we look younger every day and by God you must have found the fountain of youth baby ! My apologies to Dave for not giving him his props for actually commenting on my Richie Riches piece . I think I was still in shell shock from his suggestion that I read something that doesn 't involve single British or Irish girls trying to get laid . I mean , seriously - - has he met me ? ? This is going to seem too dirty and ridiculous to be true . The " study " was done by NC State . Seriously , how exactly was this study done ? Who put together the research ? A man , I 'm guessing . It sounds like something you 'd find in The Onion , NOT cnn . com . I mean , the woman used fellate as a VERB . Is it a verb ? ? Sometimes I think rain is God 's way of being melodramatic . ( I don 't care about the meteorological explanation for rain - - I think that pollen is flammable for pity 's sake . Don 't ask . ) I 've gone and found my own silver lining at a fairly ironic time . . . It 's like this . . . I have these bumps and frustrations and bullshit in my life to appreciate how great my life was before . I wasn 't unhappy before these things happen and I have to step back and realize that this one thing hasn 't completely upset my universe to the point that I can 't be happy ever again . I 'm just not extremely happy right now . That 's all . And that 's okay . Believe it or not , I do not expect to be happy all of the time . I like it when I am , I don 't like it when I 'm not - - I think that 's normal . I don 't feel like I 've been " cheated " when I 'm not happy . I just want the happy part to start up again . And you know what ? It usually does . Tony Kahlua will make a joke an unexpected time . Rose will call when I 'm not expecting it . Scout actually makes plans and sticks to them . A customer will be particularly friendly and appreciative of my help . Scott will ask me if I 've lost weight . I 'm a drama queen . I don 't like it . I 've toned it down A LOT , and there are many who have ( somehow ) lived through some of my high drama days who can tell the tale about how much more dramatic I have been . The work disappointments that threw me into black moods that would last for weeks . The break - ups that I didn 't want to get out of bed over , sometimes so much so that I would pop a few Tylenol PM in the morning to prevent myself from waking up . The fights with friends that pretty much kept Verizon in business because of all the back and forth sharing of details . Drama drama drama . I hate it . You hate it . They hate it . But , it 's a gene that never really dies . It calms down with age . But PMS and 2 or 3 other silly things in a row can cause it to perk its head up , adjust its tiara and say , " You called ? " But , piss on it . The sun 's gonna shine out of my behind one way or another . And if the people stare , then the people stare . I really don 't know , I really don 't care . I would like to think that I am the kind of person who takes disappointment well . There 's the initial reaction of shock and disappointment , which is followed closely by drinking and chain - smoking which is gradually followed by passing out , hangover then acceptance . ( I 'm mostly kidding . ) I guess it depends on the level of disappointment . Minor things I take in stride pretty well , I think . I do some whining , bitching , moaning and complaining . Often will get a little teary but usually pretty fiery . And then I make my peace with whatever the disappointing thing is and move on . Although , it will typically take a little while for the snarky comments post - disappointment to drop . Sarcasm is my defense mechanism of choice , accept THAT or please keep moving . This is not the booth for you . So , I 've had a couple of minor disappointments in a row and so my game is a little off . Add a dash of PMS and you have Heather who is in need of a quart of Ben & Jerry 's and big hugs . Awww . . . . Poor Heather - - you deserve better than these minor disappointments , don 't you ? ? I admit it , I like to be mollycoddled sometimes . I do not view this as a character flaw . I do not look on pity as being a bad thing . Don 't get me wrong , I don 't want to be pitied daily . There 's no need for that . I have food ( well , questionable - - but I have phone service so I can always dial Papa John 's ) , shelter , employment , blah blah blah . . . But then again , don 't you hate that shit too ? People trying to point out your damned silver linings when you just want to have a pity me day ? Can 't they just let it go for ONE day ? If I am still pouting 24 hours after initial receipt of minorly disappointing news , then YES ! Wrap me up in my silver linings and hang me from the rafters for not appreciating them , but can you give me a minute ? ? Is it so wrong for me to feel disappointment ? Just because the stuff that happens isn 't catastrophically awful doesn 't mean that I can 't feel a little bit bad about it , right ? I 'm entitled . No one begrudges me the other range of emotions when BIG things happen , right ? The minor things deserve to be recognized . They 've done their part to interrupt your life a little , you deserve to show them their propers by being a little down . I 'm not going to justify it any longer . It is what it is . I 'm having a pout and that 's all . I 'll be pout free and back to my typical Pollyanna with serious attitude tomorrow . But tonight - - funk city ! < - - - Was that a disco song ? If not , we should revive disco just so we can write it ! HP I heard on the radio this morning some new theory that Oprah stresses people out . They see how there 's all these things they could be doing or should be doing to improve their lives and it 's not possible to do it and they 're stressed out . Yeah . Ok . I 've watched Oprah plenty and I never felt stressed out . I felt REALLY poor , but not stressed out . The Average Joe chick strives to be better than she is . She 's trying to act like she 's this really nice person underneath her paper thin facade and I 'm not buying it . Not til she falls in love with the fat guy . Or the guy whose teeth are all the same size . I was expounding on some of my " theories " to HP2 and she was ( mock ? ) impressed that I had these theories . I realized I need to get a life . Scott has this thing that he does , when I say how much something costs he will follow the amount with AMERICAN ? ! In faux shock . For example . Me : My roots are a mess and I 'm saving to get my highlights done before it becomes a Greek tragic situation . My friend in Korea , Kiosk , thought this was somehow for her benefit . So she wouldn 't think I was talking about some other country 's currency . ( I referenced this joke in my Richie Rich blog ) Which brings to mind an interesting point . When he says AMERICAN ? ! I would like to retort with some other country 's currency that 's worth very little but I don 't know any other country 's currency , because well . I 'm dumb and I don 't go anywhere . I would prefer an obscure country , like Chandler 's favorite Yemen . AMERICAN ? ! No ! YEMEN ! Ick , when I attempt to be symbolic that desperately it 's time to go to bed and finish this crappy ( and it 's compellingly crappy , but crappy nonetheless ) Candace Bushness novel 4 Blondes . Don 't read it . Ever . It 's just not very good . The problem is it 's not bad enough to make me stop reading . And I want to . The above comes from one of my favorite comedian schpiels . . . Why do adults always ask little kids what they want to be ? Because they are looking for ideas . " Hmmm , a ballerina you say ? Maybe I could do that TOO ! " This is where I am . I 'm now facing the daunting task of taking classes that I may have to do real work in . It 's not that there 's no work in the class I 'm taking now , but as expected I 'm just not incredibly motivated because I 'm taking the class online . Most of the time , I 'm in my pajama 's and it 's the night before the assignment 's due and I 'm spewing out half - cocked answers to the assignments just so I can get credit . It 's time to sign up for classes for the Spring and I have no idea what I want to take . Other than something easy that doesn 't require me to read or write a lot of big words . Or anything boring . As it turns out , this is not as easy as it sounds . I know that this is shocking to . . . well , no one . I 've thought about Poly Sci but I 'm not political and the thought of having to develop opinions on current events hurts my head . We 've already discussed my level of ignorance on this subject , there 's no reason to cause me further undue pain by going into it again . I 've also thought about Philosophy , but I 'm not very deep either . I 'm so shallow that I didn 't even fully understand the course DESCRIPTION . I 've thought about History , but that stuff is so old . ( That was a joke , for those of you in the cheap seats . ) I 've thought about Public Speaking and was pretty excited about that prospect but then I realized that I would have to listen to OTHER people talk , too . Not so interesting to me , as it turns out . I need to get some English and Math stuff out of the way , but I have to go to a placement test for that and I don 't have time . Plus they want $ 4 ( AMERICAN ! ) to tell me how dumb I am and how they 're not sure that I have the skills necessary to balance a checkbook . . . Much less spell checkbook . Not really interested in that , either . But , it 's midnight . I 'll have to make to think about it again tomorrow . After all , : : : swooning : : : tomorrow is another day ! I just watched the America Undercover special on HBO , Born Rich . It was very interesting . . . One thing that I am definitely guilty of is pigeon - holing rich people into this category of people who must be happy because they have money . The fact of the matter is that when you are brought up without riches then you have to figure out what you want to do to accomplish having money in your life . Finding that thing that brings you enough money to live satisfactorily makes most people " happy . " But , what if you don 't have to find " that thing " ? Then what ? Some background about the show . . . The heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune wanted to do this documentary about what it was like to grow up rich because he was brought up to believe that you don 't talk about money . . . So , no one ever does . I , myself , who have NO money have often said that money is the last sacred subject in our society . I have very little idea what any of my friends make annually , although they probably know fairly well what I make because I 'm at the starting point of my career and it was a oft - discussed topic when I made the career change . . . The salary I would be receiving because it was a step down from my last job . I really don 't know how my parents are doing financially nor any of my other relatives for that matter . I know they 're not broke - - but I don 't know HOW not broke they are , if that makes any sense . But , I digress . So , this heir wanted to make the movie and his father was very much against it , said that he would have a hard time agreeing to talk about money and how it affects their lives . But he did manage to get 10 " rich kids " ( MASSIVE understatement ) to talk about what it 's like to know that you don 't HAVE to work ever . It was very interesting , actually . I did find myself repeatedly inwardly snorting , " Yeah like that 's so rough . " Things like how awkward it was for Josiah Hornblower to find out that he owned Grand Central Station . ( He actually rides the subway everywhere versus taking limo 's , which I thought was kind of quaint . ) Or the director Jamie Johnson talking about how his grandfather didn 't want the family working at Johnson & Johnson , so as a result he 's not entitled to buy their products in the company store as an " employee " and get 50 % off . . . He pays retail for band - aids that have his name on them . On the one hand you think , well it 's not like he can 't afford it ! But on the other , that 's a little odd , right ? They all go to party at the same place in the Hamptons and some of them were complaining about the fact that they keep going to this same club over and over again . The club 's owner was explaining that there was a 2 bottle minimum per table , and the minimum cost per bottle was $ 250 ! American . It takes me a full working week to earn what they spend in one night out drinking . That definitely caused me to lose some sympathy . So , many stereotypes were repeatedly reinforced . Ivanka Trump has a " rich " voice . ( I can 't explain this without audio , but if you know me and you want to hear what that sounds like . . . Gimme a call and I 'll do an impression . If not , think about someone who has friends named Buffy and uses the word summer as a verb and you 've got an idea of the inflection that I 'm referring to . ) They don 't date outside of their rich kids circle , because their lifestyle would be too hard to explain - - not to mention the infernal problem of the Pre - nup , the importance of which they are VERY in tune with since it 's been drilled into their heads from a very young age . Some of the more interesting comments came from the directors asking point blank questions . Like , what would you do if you actually had your hands on all the money you 're supposed to inherit ? Juliet Hartford ( who was heiress to some fortune I don 't even remember ) said , " I 'd give it all to the homeless ! " And then laughed hysterically as if this were a ridiculous concept . ( It was a " rich " laugh too - - ha ! ha ! ha ! Good one chap ! ) Luke Weil ( more on him in a minute , he 's the heir some gaming industry thing ) , when asked about the guilt associated with having all of that money , said that guilt was for " old women and nuns . " O - kay . He actually tried to legally prevent Jamie Johnson from releasing the film with him in it . He claimed that his signature was asked for " sheepishly and submissively " or something and he didn 't really know that he was agreeing . In other words , hey sign this - - it doesn 't really mean anything , I just need it for the people . Jamie 's lawyer said tha the " irony of making a movie about wealthy people is that their very wealth allows them to have the money to sue you if they are unhappy with what you say . " I thought that was one of the best parts ! It 's funny because it 's true ! All of the reviews I have read keep focusing on how the movie wraps with Jamie 's big 21st birthday celebration , which is basically done in the style of a 1920 's flapper era kind of theme . There 's champagne everywhere and the rich kids are laughing and having a grand time foo - fooing one another . . . But I hardly noticed it because while you see all of this pomp and decadence , Jamie 's making his summarizing comments in the voiceover . And the most profound remark was " what you inherit may not be as valuable as what you earn . " And I thought , wow . It 's true that it 's a " poor little rich boy " Charles Dickens kind of life lesson , but it 's absolutely true . I still don 't feel sorry for people that were born into billionaire inheritances , but if they wanted to pay me to have pity I might be willing to work that out . . . . the lost blog : This blog , reported as " missing " was about wishing I could donate unused IQ points to more worthy recipients . Most people would NEVER suspect this , but my recorded IQ is above the genius level . Barely , but my parents refused to acknowledge THAT part . I don 't use those points . I 'm really focused on things like my hair and creative financing . These things do not allow me to think about more important things like current events or nuclear physics or curing cancer . The fact is that I don 't even HAVE opinions about things until someone asks me about them . . . [ The lost blog went into great detail about how an issue may be presented and I formulate an opinion on the spot , not based on any real information or knowledge . I don 't have time for that . I have to go work overtime . ] I have noticed that most people really seem to be interested in a vast amount of things and actually go out and acquire more knowledge about these things . I realized last night , as Scott was helping me search the Internet for Blog upgrade ideas , that I don 't even get more interested in things that I 'm already interested in ! ! That is JUST sad . the idiot scratchpad I realized last night that I am forever thinking of things that I want to do or read or buy for presents or download or ask about or BLOG about and then get involved in doing OTHER things and forget these things . When it comes time for me to remember them again , I think - - damn damn DAMN , why didn 't I write that down ? I decided I need a little steno pad with a little pencil stuck in it that I can wear around my neck when these moments occur . . . Some of the ideas dashed down last night that made me realize I want / need the Idiot Scratchpad ( tm ? ) . . . I realized that the reason I am so mean and crabby at the end of the day is because I have to be super - nice and perky all day . I can 't make off - the - cuff sarcastic comments to people when they ask me dumb , obvious questions . The repression is starting to take hold of my tongue after work . I don 't like it . What 's the answer ? Start being mean to customers ? Doubtful . Also , wanted to jot down some of the really disturbing things I have seen in movies lately that I never thought I would see . Both of them were from spoofs of teen movies . In Scary Movie I saw a wheel - chaired man giving himself a blowjob . I thought I would never get THAT out of my head . Until last night we watched Not Another Teen Movie and we saw a guy getting ripped in half during a tragic football play . Oh boy . I was going to compile a list of these things . Ack . This is undone and unpolished - - LIKE ME ! But I only have 8 minutes to dry my hair and run to work , so priorities need to be laid ! I 'm posting just to post . I like to do that sometimes . Sometimes . I don 't blog for me much anymore . And I 'm not blogging for . . . Pending countdown to deactivation . I 'm concerned about missing my friends . I will definitely miss events posted that don 't get posted elsewhere . I have some trips . . . I 'm going to try to pretend that this is still private . I don 't know how , but that 's the goal . So , don 't take it personal . . .
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.