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t3_1fa4c6 | relationships | SO(M31) and I (F26) have been together for 4 years and I no longer see a future | He has a complicated past, no job, no education, and no f*cks to give. When we argue, he calls me names, constantly says 'f u' , will slam doors/tables, hang up on me if we're on the phone, scream at me in front of his family/in public...I know it takes two to fight, but I have consistently asked him to not use disrespectful language, intimidate me, ect. He has a teenage child and although he has told me he wants to settle down, I don't see us being able to afford a space big enough for us to move in together with him in this position. Each time I try to discuss our situation, plan for the future, he says I am nagging and it descends into a bullying situation. If prompted with "How can I better communicate my concerns?" he responds with "don't start nothin wont be nothin". Am I supposed to wait for him to be able to contribute to building a life together, or am I supposed to walk away? I love him, don't know what to do. | he's mean, doesn't see it that way, has many problems in his life preventing us from settling down, what should i do? |
t3_49p5mc | relationships | Me [18 F] with my close friend [20 M], he asked me out but has some habits I find a little embarrassing. | Sometimes I think about us being together and sometimes I see him as a brother. I want to give it a chance and take it slow, but I really really don't want to hurt his feelings.
So the main thing I wanted to talk about...
He's a little crazy and super dorky. Both of these things I find endearing as a friend... but... and I really don't want to come off as shallow or mean because I love him a lot. But some of the things/hobbies he does/has are a little too strange for me.
As a friend, I know that they are parts of him and I wouldn't want him to change. But then I think, like, he probably deserves someone who doesn't get embarrassed about some of the things he does.
But then it's only like two things that he does... and you're never going to find someone who likes literally everything about you, right? Even writing this out makes me feel like a shitty person. | friend asked me out, has some behaviors that I find slightly embarrassing, wondering if this means I shouldn't say yes? |
t3_34kixn | tifu | TIFU by buying shampoo | Quick back-story, last May my first serious girlfriend of over a year broke up with me because it was long distance (3hour drive), and it was putting a strain on us. I'm heartbroken, don't know how to move on yaddy-yaddy-ya.
A month later I realized I'm out of shampoo and decided to make a run to the store and get some. So I'm looking in the women's section because men's shampoos are always dandruff control and dry the crap out of my hair. I can only use a small dab of the stuff or else I end up with straw hair. I pick up a big monster Costco sized bottle. Don't know why I picked it. Maybe because it claimed it would moisture my hair or maybe the sleek advertising got to me.
All I know now is that everytime I take a shower I get sad. Not crying but it's a deep pain. I obsess about her while I shower and miss her until it hurts even though I hadn't thought of her all day long. Realized about 5 months ago it's because it's the same shampoo my ex-girlfriend used. I'm a pretty hygienic guy and take about two showers a day (one when I wake up, and one after the gym at night), but even then it takes me about a year to go through an entire bottle. It's been almost a year and I'm not even half way through the bottle. I don't want to get rid of it either because it makes my hair look fantastic. | I bought a year+ supply of the same shampoo my ex used and now everytime I shower I can only think of how her hair smelled |
t3_1rvutz | relationships | My girlfriend [22/F] and I [26/M] have been together now for 2 years and our age difference isn't bad now but when we met it was kind of weird | So my girlfriend (lets say her name is Sarah) and I have been together for 2 years but have known each otherniece since I was a teenager
When I was 15 I met Sarah she was 11. I met her at a family party, (she's not my family she is my non blood related uncles niece) (wait is that weird that we're dating?) Anyways she was flirting with me, like regular flirting stuff little body contact talking always with me that stuff. She was different than normal 11 year olds. She was able to keep listeningup a conversation with my cousin and I, she liked bands like The Police, and the was she spoke was so proper and mature it was great listening to her.
I was thinking to myself "She's too young for me" but her age didn't matter because she didn't act her age.
Maybe I'll tell the rest of our story but as of right now I think this might be enough. | The first time we met we flirted I felt something for her but I wasn't sure about her clearly we're together now and there is still more to our story |
t3_15qkhq | relationships | I (22M) need some help with a large age difference relationship (44F). | We met online and kind of instantly felt a different level of connection. We started talking about two weeks ago and have gotten coffee a couple times but have talked via text and over the phone pretty much constantly for those two weeks. I just got out of a relationship of 6 months with a girl my same age about a month ago. I have always been attracted to older women as well and thought I would give it a shot online to see what it was like. I was not expecting this at all.
We instantly clicked and had an absolute wonderful evening last night. It was our first time having sex and was by far the best sex I have had in my short life. This is the part I need help with the sex was great but I honestly felt so much more than just sexual attraction. This is kind of scaring me a bit well because I have never been in a situation like this and to be honest I've never felt like this about someone. This is the part that has my head spinning she said the same thing to me and as far as I can tell it was very genuine.(and she is 44 years old!!)
I do not how to put into words the connection I felt with this woman. She is very attractive for someone her age. She is also very very intelligent which makes it even better. I am having a really tough time with this. Due to the fact of the connection I felt. I was not looking for that at all really I just wanted to have sex. But now I could see myself seeing this woman. And this is where my problem is the age difference is very much outside of a "normal relationship." I would love to do things outside of the bedroom with this woman, and we talked about it a lot last night. However I do still have reservations about it. | Met a much older woman have a crazy strong connection/attraction to her. Do not know how to move forward. |
t3_2tl200 | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [29 M] of five months, he wants to break up for no real reason | My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months, official for over 5. We've done the exchange of "I love you" since mid-November.
I have depression and anxiety. On Tuesday, we went to a popular clothing store. I tried on clothes and got very upset (issues with body image). While he was in the grocery store and I was in the care, I used tweezers to scratch myself (I'm a self-harmer, but I hadn't done it before then in about 8 months). I was upset the rest of the day and finally told him at the end of the day what had happened and why I was upset. He fell asleep but I woke him up and told him I was going home and then drove myself home.
He texted me yesterday wanting to meet. I was working but I told him I could do today. He came over to my place and told me he wanted to break up. He said he it wasn't me, but he wasn't emotionally strong enough and I deserved better. I got upset and went inside and slammed the door in his face, but a few minutes later, I gathered myself together and went to the bus stop to talk to him further. I told him that I still loved him and wanted to be together. He said he wasn't the person I thought he was and he was "emotionally dead" inside. He told me he wasn't good enough to be with me. I got intoxicated and texted him during the evening and he told me it was hard for him to do but it was "the right thing".
I have never been with someone that I have felt this kind of connection with. We spend so much time together and I feel like splitting up is a huge mistake. I tried to tell him that I don't care if he has flaws, I still love him, but he doesn't seem to be taking it in.
Is it possible to salvage this? Is it really me but he's not telling me? Is there any way I can fix this? I love him and I don't want to let go. | Boyfriend wants to break up but keeps saying it's about him. How do I convince him I love him and want to stay together? |
t3_qe6h2 | AskReddit | Help me do something for my best friend? | My best friend had surgery a couple of weeks ago (pilonidal cyst removal) and while he is doing great with his recovery, I would like to do something to help the healing process. First of all, I am a guy and so is he. We have become very close in the time we've lived together and have helped each other get through a lot of shit. I realized that I owe him a Christmas gift and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get him something he'd really appreciate.
He has said before that one of his biggest idols is Steve Irwin and so I thought that buying him a season of Crocodile Hunter would be the best gift. However, I can't seem to find anything reasonable online. The Australian Zoo website offers several volumes for $90 plus an astronomical delivery fee (it IS coming from Australia after all) which is completely out of my poor ass's budget. I have found a couple of things on Amazon, but they are only ~30 minutes of footage, which seems like a waste. Does reddit have any suggestions on what to do? Maybe your internet searching skills are better than mine? My friends mean a lot to me and the dude is like my brother. I don't want to settle for something mundane. Please, any help would be greatly appreciated. | I want to get my best friend something as a late Christmas/recovery gift. His idol is Steve Irwin. Have at it. |
t3_2do2f5 | tifu | TIFU by letting my friend make out with the chick I liked | So my fellow redditors.
As the this post suggests today/tonight I fucked up.
My best friend/brother (known him since kindergarden) and I decided to hang out with friends and go out for a drink. (Mind you I'm in Highschool and underage) . So anyways it gets to the point where it's around 3:30 am and I have a solid state of tipsy going on when my friend starts to make out with the girl I like/liked. Anyways things get a bit frisky between them and during the night there were a lot of other horny guys hitting on her and I kept shoving them away and told her I had her back. So now my fellow redditors, comes the true fuck up. My mate was meant to stay at my place, but because i have a curfew of 12:30 am we decided to stay at a friends place. So I call my father up and he's in a bit of a rage, but ultimately he lets me overnight at a friends place under the condition that i'm grounded for 3 weeks. So I say okay, why the fuck not, because the girl I like invited me to stay over. However. Now the fuck up actually comes. (Sorry for the extensive paragraph) so after a night out going to clubs/bars we head home to her place. My friend, me and her. So this is where I done fucked up. She offered for my friend to stay the night at her's too. (At this point we were sorta a package deal becaus he was meant to stay at mine) so essentially we get to her's and I'm still all confident that I might get some action, but then the girl discretely(without my friend knowing) asks me to leave. At first I look at her in disbelief, but then I say fuck it, you're not worth my time anyways. Sl I head into the guest bedroom and now they're getting it on and I can here them... Well fuck. I may have forgotten to mention that it's 4:30 in the morning, I'm tired, drunk and a furious at my friend. But I cant just peave because I have no where else to go. | girl I like fucks around with my best friend while i'm in the guest room and cant leave because I have no where to go. Also I took the 3 week grounding to spend a fun Night out with my "friends" |
t3_18ainj | relationships | Boyfriend is extremely self conscious. Is there anything I can do to help? | So my boyfriend (m18) and I (f19) have been dating for about 8 months. The problem is that he is very self conscious about his appearance due to him being a little chubby (which I really love and always tell him I do). He is usually insulted because of his looks by friends and family and it's having a very negative impact on our relationship. I love him so much. I hate him being sad all the time. I just want him to be happy. I tell him how much I love him and that I don't care about looks at all because I honestly don't. Is there anything I can do to help reassure him? How do you help someone who is self conscious? | Boyfriend is very self conscious because of his family and friends insulting him. Nothing I say helps. Having a negative impact on our relationship. What should I do to help him? |
t3_21y3qa | relationship_advice | Not sure if this guy (22m) likes me (21f) or what to do.... | He hasn't had a girlfriend since high school (we are upperclassmen in college). I know he's kind of shy and awkward.
Anyways when we hang out with our friends we flirt a lot. I lean on him and he doesn't move. One time at the bar I think he awkwardly tried to pay for my drink (he put money in my face). He was flirting with me hardcore a week ago. Just childish things like throwing things at me and playing with my jacket.
I have drunkenly texted him that I liked him/we should hang out but he never responded... He was also intoxicated. (I promise we aren't always drunk around each other....)
I know when my friend was hitting on him, he flat out told her he wasnt interested
Yesterday while hanging with friends he followed me out to his balcony (alone) because of "reasons" but then immediately went back in. I slept on his couch and he came out after his roommates left and was debating staying up to watchable movie with me ( he had to get up early ). He was also nice enough to set up a movie for me after I drunkenly demanded (he gave me alcohol...)
We text and he has texted me longer text messages about his day (his feelings/frustrations etc.) I know he's usually pretty short with others. But sometimes he doesn't always respond unless I (unfortunately) double text him the next day... | shy guy seems kind of interested but not sure. Texted him (drunk) that I liked him/we should hang out. he never responded (he was also drunk) |
t3_30g0yj | Advice | Homeless couple living with us, roommate insists they stay longer | So here's my situation. I rented a two bedroom, two bath apartment with another student who goes to my college. About in November, he had his homeless "friend" start to live with us, crashing on the couch (which I furnished) and generally bumming around. After a few months, I began to get fed up with it, obviously.
Soon after this, I find a girl in my apartment, in my living room, with this older gentleman. At first, I thought it was just going to be a short "nightly" guest. She's been here for months too. I've talked to my roommate many times about how it is going to be a violation of the lease and I am not comfortable with it. He is also the cosigner and he signed a document agreeing basically to do whatever I say regarding the place.
His solution is to let them sleep in his walk in closet so they are not in my way and give them until August, when he will put a down payment for their place. I believe another 5 months is out of the question. Oh, a reminder: They haven't given me a cent. Much to the contrary, they actually have been eating my food and drinking my drinks.
At this point, I'm about fed up, and when I get back to college in a couple weeks I'm planning on having a conversation with my roommate about how I fear for our own living situation because of these two. (It isn't fair to compromise our own living situation for two grown ADULTS who can't handle themselves. I just turned 19 and I believe we have no reason to be responsible for them. If my roommate doesn't have them out when I tell him to, I plan on giving a tip to the leasing office of what my roommate has done.
I've been extremely patient but my patience has run extremely thin. How should I go about doing this? As bad as I feel about putting people on the streets, I really don't feel guilty seeing as we've done so much for them to begin with. My lease runs up in July and I might just tell my roommate that if they don't leave he can just move out and live with them, I'll have no problem finding a new roommate. | Homeless couple in my house, has been much longer than expected. Roommate insists on giving them more time, I disagree. |
t3_50qu8b | personalfinance | Would having accounts at 3 different banks hurt my credit? | 21yo college junior here with limited financial knowledge.
For a few years now I've had a set of savings and checking accounts at a credit union and at a bank back home. Neither has a ton of branches and it can be hard to find an atm sometimes, and the bank has bad online banking while the credit union doesn't have a location within 100 miles of my college. Recently I found out that my girlfriend's credit union has a location in my college's town and I've considered opening an account with them in case I ever need to transfer gas money for her to come for a visit or vice versa, and it would be nice to have a faster way to move money if I need to because the bank just works slowly in terms of transfers. Would it be unwise to open accounts at a third bank? I believe it may come in handy not only for the reasons listed above but also for when I graduate, am employed (I attend a high level engineering university, so that's not as much of a worry), and need to split my money up into different accounts for spending, bills, savings, etc. | would it be dumb/hurt my (possibly nonexistent) credit to open a checking&savings account at a third bank? |
t3_p36iz | AskReddit | I'm 18 and a Super Senior in Highschool. Do I quit and get my GED or continue on for two more semesters? | Long story short, I've delt with school for what feels like all my life. There are pros and cons to both sides.. (Quit or don't quit.)
Quit: I'm so sick of being an outcast among everyone. I'm so sick of teachers who don't even try to understand. I'm so sick of the feeling I get when I wake up knowing I have to deal with another day of this depressing bullshit. It makes me stressed, upset, angry. I am ready to move on.. emotionally and physically. I can still go to college and that's my plan. I just need to get out of this.. *immature playground of hate.*
Don't quit: But I also know what's expected of me out of my family, I've gotten so far to quit now would be silly. They've put so much hope in me that I can do it! I know I can. I'd just have to deal with the depression and stress for 8 more months. It's killing me. But I know my life would be better.. I'd get a better job, have more money, ect.
What do I do? | I don't know if I should stay and graduate because it's expected of any American child, or if I should drop out because it's making me hate life. |
t3_3cjtfq | relationships | I [20 M] I'm starting to fall in love with a young girl [16 F] that I've been intimate for the last couple of weeks | Well, this issue comes after browsing this sub a lot, and seeing that these type of question comes up very often (teen female and 20's male), normally with a negative response towards the older male.
Firstly, I've only ever had one girlfriend. She was my age at time (we dated while we were 17-19). We never got very physical and we "broke up" some times only to get back together shortly after. It was mentally chaotic and until this day I believe that she suffers from some sort of bipolar disorder or something (well, I know most teenage girls are a mess, but she's 20 now and it's still the same).
Now, I moved on. I went to college and didn't date for a while. But one day, after a party and mildly drunk, I texted this younger girl. Like, 3 years younger than me (she will turn 17 soon, and if she was 20 and I was 23, I guess it would be ok, I guess, but this way it just feels so wrong. Besides, it is a crime and I feel so bad with myself). From then on we talked almost every day and we were and are getting closer.
Now, last weekend we went to a party together and she wanted to hug. I hugged her and we made out. And it felt so good that I'm ashamed with myself.
But in a way I don't think it is that wrong. She's mature enough and maybe I'm not very mature for my age (girls' wise), I can recon that. And people here normally are so reluctant with these kind of relationships that I just had to let this (possibly silly) worry off my chest. What do you think?
I know that I'm not very good describing what I feel, so feel free to ask me questions that you may think are necessary. | I think I'm falling in love with a teenager and I don't know how to feel about it. I don't know if I should stop it or go with it. |
t3_4rtd39 | relationships | Am I [27M] being an insecure moron with my [27F] girlfriend of [8m]? | First of all, I know that in the scheme of everything, this is a relatively minor thing, but I still would like a soundboard.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months and everything has been amazing. There's something that's been bothering me, though.
Her only past longterm relationships (2 of them) were with police officers. I am not a police officer, nor do I want to be one. However, she consistently defends police officers in discussions with myself and others in regard to recent events (nothing insane/racist, but much much more defense than an average person) and consistently "likes" news articles about police officers on facebook. I would say about 1 in 3 news articles that she likes on facebook have something to do with police officers. It probably happens once a week or once every two weeks. Please note that I'm not facebook stalking her, these pop up on my feed. She also sometimes comments on whether there is a 'strong police presence' at events we're at and things of that nature.
When I brought this up as something that bothered me but that I realized I was being insecure about, she told me how much she loved me, completely heard me out, explained how she didn't want to date police, how she is entitled to her own opinion as I am mine, and then about an hour later liked another article about a police officer on facebook.
As I said, I realize this is a relatively small thing, but am I being an insecure douche or is there something to this? | GF has had cop ex-boyfriends, seems to slightly idolize police. Not sure how I feel about this. |
t3_4008da | relationships | I (21/m) confessed to her (21/f) but she said she wants to take things slow. | Ok so basically I confessed to my best friend but I just learned from her that she has had 2 relationships and they ended up being really bad especially the break up because she was emotionally scarred from the last one that ended on christmas but she says she likes me too but is just unsure. She said that she wants to take things slow right now because she has made a lot of mistakes in her past with guys and just wants to think things thru first and just see how things progress between us. What does that mean and what should I do?
P.s. this is the first time I have ever confessed my feeling to someone so I'm still new to this. So please don't be mean. I just need some advice | told my best friend I like her but she wants to take thing slow between us. What should I do. Need advice. |
t3_2w5p77 | Advice | My grandma died and I felt nothing. No sadness. Nothing.... Except for the feeling to drink. | Last night around midnight, I learned my grandma of 91 years died. I never really knew her. She visited my family several times here in the US, but she lived in Mexico, so she didn't visit often. The last time I saw her was almost a decade ago. I really didn't know her. At the time when she did visit, I spoke only English, and she only spoke Spanish, so I could never have a conversation with her. That's why I don't know what to feel. From stories I heard, she was a kind, selfless woman who would do everything for no reward for anyone. I guess what I could be sad about was how this summer I was finally going to visit her in Mexico to take care of her, after hearing for several years that she was suffering from Alzheimer's. I guess I could also be sad that she never got to see me grow up, she never got to see me speak Spanish fluently enough to have a decent conversation with her, she will never see me graduate, see me turn from the fat, lazy kid she knew into the hardworking, fit person I am now. I only feel emptiness when I think about her death, and the urge to drink alcohol. I've actually been drinking a bit at the time I am writing this.
I guess I should mention at this point: I'm 16. I know it's bad to drink, especially at my age when my body is still developing, but I always seem to do this whenever I deal with depressing things. It's a stupid, stupid habit of mine, and I'm honestly scared that I might turn into a alcoholic from this.
Please help guide me. I really have no one to turn to, except my best friend. But I don't want her to worry sick over my health. Then she would just yell at me for breaking my 1 month sobriety achievement (and I really don't want to deal with that. She's really scary when she gets mad. Like imagine "Mama Bear about to beat fuck out of son's bully" scary). | I'm a 16 year old who feels nothing, but the urge to drink after hearing about my grandma's death, whom I never really knew. And I don't know what to do about my drinking problem. |
t3_4fcae3 | relationships | My [21f] GF said to me [23 M] that she doesn't miss me but she still loves me and doesn't want to break up. Is she in denial? Have I to make the choice for her? | We have a very good relationship since we are together for about two years, we have had few arguments and sex is great.
On the last few weeks, I noticed her way more uninterested, she said she was apathetic and she couldn't show feelings, I though that was just caused by fatigue though. Some days ago when I called her at night as usual and I asked her if she missed me but she told me that she didn't, that she was not just apathetic but unconcerned about the relationship, that she doesn't know what she wants and why it is happening to her but she still loves me. It was harsh and unexpected but I'm grateful for her honesty at least.
The next following days I felt awfully bad, I tried to avoid talking to her but she didn't even matter about it, then when I could not stand the silence anymore we discussed on the phone, she swore she is not looking for another guy, that is not about something she doesn't like about me, that probably we just lost the spark (I don't think so, but whatever...) but *she is not sure, she just doesn't feel the urge to see me like before*. So I tried to be strong and I told her that she if this what she want we will end the relationship asap and move along but then she broke down saying that she could not stand be without me, we could try but she can't assure that this solves her mind.
I believe that is the sudden end of a great relationship, I don't know if it worth doing something because I think that she is in denial, I also guess she doesn't want to be alone and prefer to stay in the comfort zone, and If we manage to solve that, we are just delaying the unavoidable. Perhaps, is me the one who have to do the hard choice? | gf doesn't feel the same, she can't figure out why and didn't want to break up. I'm astonished and I don't know what I have to do. |
t3_4hlo1w | relationships | Me [29 M] with my Tinder date [28 F] 1.5 months, How can people be so affectionate and intimate in a casual relationship!? | I'm so confused. I've been dating a woman I met on tinder for about 1.5 months and felt we were very 'relationshipy'....for example:
• we have nicknames for each other
• communicate almost everyday (call or text)
• when I asked if she joined tinder for hook-ups her reply was 'no'
• told me she is no longer on tinder
• some dates end with no sex
• PDA ( mostly hand holding and kisses)
• see each other 1-3 times a week
• talked about past relationships and other intimate/personal topics
• lots of sleepovers
• lots of cuddling
• she's talked about me to friends
• We've been on 'real' dates and spent quality time together. No Netflix and chill.
• she said she trusts me and feels good around me.
Anyway... As a result, I felt she was really into me, developed feelings, and asked for exclusivity like a fool. She said no and indicated she was only interested in casual dating.
How can someone act so affectionate and intimate (i.e. emotionally involved) when they are only interested in a physical relationship? Is this how people in casual relationships commonly act? Has anyone else been in this situation (both sides)? What did you do? | Woman I'm dating for 1.5 months is affectionate and intimate...turns out she's only interested in casual dating. |
t3_eenvu | AskReddit | Dell has the original Alienware M11x starting at $550 with a coupon. Is this a good deal? | Hi there, reddit. I am in the market for a small-ish footprint replacement for my decrepit eeepc 701. It looks like Dell is clearing out the stock on their original M11x laptops. They have the base model with the original Core2 Duo on sale for $600. I also have a coupon code that brings it down to a grand total of $550. I know that the general consensus on Alienware is something along the lines of *overpriced garbage*, but compared to the specifications of other laptops in that price range it does not seem outrageous at all.
The model I am looking at comes with the first-generation Core2 Duo SU7300, a Geforce GT335M, 2gb of RAM, and a 160gb HDD. I have the option of doubling the RAM to 4gb for $50 which is tempting, but I can take that same money and buy the same amount of RAM from newegg and then have leftover/spare RAM. The prices to upgrade the HDD through dell is outrageous and out of the question so I am not going to bother there, as that is what newegg is for.
To give you an idea of what I am looking for, I play quite a few different games, and I have a relatively powerful desktop for scratching that itch most of the time. In addition to wanting a laptop portable enough for easy everyday use (4 pounds or less and absolutely no bigger than 14"), it would also be nice to have the ability to bring it to LAN parties. The graphics card does not have to be all that powerful, just enough to play Guild Wars and L4D2 without it looking like a slideshow. My budget is best summed up as "as low as possible." I see no point in spending $1,000 on something that I can't easily service myself that will be considered junk two years down the road.
So to | myself, I am asking if $550 is a good deal for the m11x laptop and I want to make sure that there isn't anything else available and comparable around that price in the USA that I am completely overlooking. |
t3_33baa1 | relationship_advice | Why is this guy being mean to me now that he has a girlfriend? | There's this guy I had a brief fling with who likes to tease people a lot, kind of a ball-buster but usually all in good fun. He was very flirtatious with me at first and teased me a lot but also complimented me and seemed to have a positive opinion of me. After a build up of sexual tension we ended up fooling around one time but he landed himself a serious girlfriend soon after so we never went further or talked about it.
As time goes on he has stopped flirting with me (which is understandable since he has a serious girlfriend now) but he's also started acting like a bit of a jerk to me. He still jokes around and teases me but where he used to sometimes compliment me he now sneaks in a lot of remarks implying that I'm stupid or lazy or slutty (for example, he keeps implying that I'm sleeping with a co-worker who I'm not even interested in), to the point that it's starting to hurt my self esteem. He uses the same playful insults whenever he sees me and even though I know I'm not stupid or slutty he makes me feel bad about myself anyway.
Is he just saying these things because he doesn't know how to deal with me now that he has a girlfriend, or does he genuinely think I'm stupid? Did he ever really like me or were his compliments just to try to get in my pants? I don't think he's trying to hurt my feelings on purpose but the things he says are becoming really hurtful and I want to confront him about it. | Guy is being a jerk to me now that he has a girlfriend, is he just pulling my pigtails or what? |
t3_4rpfys | relationships | Me [21F] with my dad [44M] I have weird jealousy issues involving his girlfriends kids [4F, 6F] | My mother died young, my dad remarried an alcoholic woman who abused me and my siblings. Long story short, she was very emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusive and I left home at 17 and have cut her out of my life since. When I was younger, my dad worked a lot so I hardly ever saw him. When he was self employed there were lots of domestic fights with my step-mother doing window smashing, hitting, fire, calling police and etc, this lasted 18 years.
I had therapy for a few months when I was 17 years old, CBT to be exact.
He's in the process of divorce and in the last year he got a new girlfriend with two young children. The girlfriend is very nice to me and we get along when I see her, however she always has her children in tow, as she obviously should.
I personally am childfree, I don't hate children but I definitely do not want any in my lifetime. I get along with her children for the most part and the younger one likes me a lot. However, my dad is staying at his gf's house and they're buying one together this year. He isn't acting as their replacement dad, but he's treating them nice, how to ride a bike, doing homework with them, buying them toys, holding their hands, blowing kisses etc.
For some reason, even though I don't want him to ignore or be mean to them, I feel jealous. I'm jealous that they get what I didn't have with him. I somehow wish I could turn back time and things could be different.
I feel childish and stupid and disgusting. I'm 21 years old and I'm jealous of children. I don't know what's wrong with me, I feel awful. | Was abused by alcoholic step-mother as a kid, dad wasn't always attentive and I feel we missed out on a lot as kids. Now I feel jealous of how he's treating his girlfriends children. |
t3_27d6fr | relationship_advice | [20/M] My girlfriend [19/F] said she doesn't see us long term. | So tonight my girlfriend and I were talking about us, our relationship, etc. when it came out that she didn't see me in her future. We have been together since February but only officially bf/gf since April. She told me that she really likes me now, she likes everything that I do for her, she really likes who I am as a person, I'm the best sex she's ever had and practically everything about me is incredible to her but that she is scared/reluctant to let us become serious because she is worried that she is setting herself up to get hurt. Her reasoning is that we are very different people, with very different interests and friends so she doesn't see us lasting in the long run.
To me, those things don't matter because if you really like someone then you will make them a part of your future. I am able to recognize that we are different people and I'm okay with it because our personalities go so well together and I really like her for who she is. She tells me that our relationship is really good right now but that she wishes we never started dating because despite that it is good and she really likes me that she thinks she will end up getting hurt.
Is there anything I can do to keep this relationship or is her mindset already dooming it? Is there anything I can do or say to her to keep her focused on the present or is her issue a valid reason for not continuing a relationship? I really want us to keep going and she basically said that she likes the way things are now but questions why we are together if she thinks we will inevitably split down the road. | Gf said she really likes me/our relationship now but doesn't see me as the kind of person she sees in her future, can/should I save the relationship? |
t3_3h9bng | relationships | Me [23/M] and my GF [ 21/F] of one year got into an argument about the one that got away | Now this happened on Friday and we had a huge argument about it. I will summarize as best I can. Any questions I will answer, and update the post if I need to.
Basically my gf casually mentioned some guy she used to have a crush on. Me being curious asked her about it, thinking it was just another crush. Turns out this guy was her biggest crush ever. She mentioned that she probably loved him at one time or another. She was around 16 when this happened, and had a bf at the time. She mentioned how she seriously considered cheating with this guy. One instance of this is where one time he called her over and she couldn't stop thinking about his hand and how much she wanted to hold it. My gf is extremely adamant about her hate for cheaters
This is all cute , normal things for a crush. She mentions how she saw a life with him. How she honestly thought she would marry him. Well none of those things happened. She didnt have the self confidence to make a move, although they both clearly liked each other
I asked her if she still liked him now. She said yes. Not in a he's cool type of way. But a I would still date him now type of way. I asked her if I should be worried about him (they aren't currently in contact). She says yes. That it would be better if they never met. Trying to say she would be too tempted and might do something. Now I don't think she would cheat, but she would leave me to pick that guy. Get rid of the "what if".
I get the feeling this guy is the one who got away. I can't stop thinking about it. She hasn't had contact with the guy for years, yet she still says I should be worried about him even though we both see marriage in our future (we get along great).
What should I do reddit. I told her how much this sucks, but I dont think she understands why it hurt me so much. She also has no regret about still liking this guy or saying that she did. | GF mentioned that I should be worried about some guy she hasn't had contact with in a while. I am now worried. |
t3_19ighy | relationships | Should I [18f] break up with my current boyfriend [20] because I'm still not over my ex, or continue to wait until I am? | It's pretty self-explanatory. My ex and I broke off our one-year relationship about 3 months ago because of how dysfunctional it was. We ended on pretty bad terms because I refused to take him back, and he couldn't stand it. Almost right after, I started seeing one of our mutual friends who I had an interest in, and we've been in a relationship for about two months now.
But for around the last 5 weeks, I have been having constant emotional breakdowns regretting my decision and wanting to have another chance. My current boyfriend can see when I'm getting emotional or upset, but I can never explain why, and it's starting to worry him.
My boyfriend is a really great guy, and as much as I'd like to make it work with him, I'm simply not over my ex. I keep waiting for my feelings to go away, but so far they've only gotten worse.
I guess I just have no idea where to put my emotions, or how to resolve this. This is my last resort, and I would really appreciate some honest advice. | Broke up with my boyfriend, started seeing someone else, and am now missing my ex-boyfriend. Don't know what do with myself. |
t3_43dmlt | relationship_advice | I'm 23 (m) she's 20ish (f), I know she's into me, but am I too old to make mistakes? | I'm a 23 year old male and she's 20ish, and we sort of work together (I know that's vague, I'm sorry). We have had pleasant and slightly flirty conversations in the hallway. And tonight at a coworkers party she gave me all the tell tale signs, immediate hug, shoulder touching, overly happy to see me, the whole thing. Only two problems she had too been drinking a little much, and didn't remember my name. Which leads me to believe she's promiscuous and/or overly complicated. Now for the albeit faggy/cute details. She's a tiny brunette and being a tall thing dark haired guy, it's sort of ideal. And she's very polite which I like so much. But I am no good at this relationship stuff. My last one was nothing short of a complete dumpster fire, with a crazy girl I didn't deserve. So for 3 years I haven't been with anyone, because I lack trust in my own judgement. I'm just afraid that I'm too old to make mistakes... anyway I know if I pull her aside and tell her I need to talk to her I can probably get a shot and since we have chemistry it could happen. But idk I'm a complicated person and I don't need more stress in life, and I'm not exactly looking just too hook up (it makes me feel guilty). | I like this girl and I'm afraid she's too promiscuous or complicated, I'm not trying to hook up, is it worth it to take a jump, knowing it could be something real or complete insanity. |
t3_3mbu0j | relationships | My [23 M] feelings for a coworker [24 F] | I've worked with this gal for about a year now and have really started liking her the last couple of months. What's holding my back is that our workplace is small and we see each other much of the time every day. I don't know which is worse. The burning desire to be with her or the risk of destroying our group dynamics after an ugly breakup. I'm sure rejection would also hurt and there's some strange peace of mind in delusionally not knowing her answer. We are allowed to date coworkers here and we're both single, although I don't think she's been with anyone before. I'll probably stupidly end up asking her out for drinks, we'll break up, I'll quit and get a second degree like I've wanted in the first place | Attracted to a coworker I work with everyday. Worried about consequences of taking action on it (or lack thereof). I'll probably only be working here for another year regardless of what happens. |
t3_1vwolz | relationships | Me [24f] just found out I have chlamydia, terrified to tell my recent, [23m] SO...please help | First off, please don't be rude about this question--I've been getting sick over thinking about it.
Over the summer I had a casual fling without protection and didn't think anything of it. Then I met my, now boyfriend in September. We dated and were inseparable, and actually waited to have sex until this past December (I should have been smart and got tested in those months before, but didn't ) I just found out today I got chlamydia from that previous encounter.
Every single time we've done it, and we haven't been sexually active for a month--we've used a condom. It hadn't broke before, and I know his chances are low, but there's also a slight chance.
I love him more than anything, and I'm pretty sure he thinks the same of me, but it breaks my heart thinking that he may want to leave me, or feel disgusted. It's also breaking my heart that I feel like I need to keep this a secret from him--I'm just terrified of loosing him for my stupid mistake.
He's also going back to school this Friday (hours away) and I'm scared that'll ruin things for us. I just see how happy he is around me, and I so happy around him I'm scared this will ruin it.
Please help with advice. I'm utterly lost. Can he forgive me?
I just found out yesterday, and I'm getting treated/were not having sex, btw. | I have a curable sti, new boyfriend has slight chance of having it, still terrified to tell him. |
t3_gtis8 | AskReddit | Becoming a first-time father - what should I know/expect? | After 3.5 years of not preventing and a year of actively trying (timing with ovulation, temperature, etc) my wife and I were resigned to the fact that we would have to seek medical assistance to conceive. My father-in-law said we were full of shit and that she'd be just like her mother and it would happen after she turned 25 just like it did for them. She turned 25 in December, in March we find out she's 6 weeks pregnant (which was an epic win moment for both of us).
Now that we've had time to sink in, she's about 12weeks in now, and I'm trying to get a good idea of what I need to prepare for (both myself and what do I prep her for?)
Also, when I ask this I mean other than the typical things that everyone tells you, e.g. lack of sleep, more stress, no money, less sexy time with each other, etc. | Wife is finally pregnant, we're both first time parents. What do we need to know other than the typical stuff everyone says? |
t3_foex3 | AskReddit | TIL a co-worker is filling out comment cards with "fucked up shit" at restaurants with my real name and information. How do I let the shit hawks fly on this guy? | Today I got a text from a friend telling me that a co-worker had written 'fucked up shit' on some restaurant comment cards and used my real name with real information. The co-worker didn't tell my friend what he wrote, just that it was fucked up and was to get back at me.
The funny thing is I've never done anything to this co-worker, and in fact most of the other employees also think he is weird. I'm pretty sick of his shit and am looking to figure out the best way to approach a counter attack. So far that plan is talking to the head supervisor about it and play the "identity theft" card, but Reddit always has some creative ways of getting things done, so I figured I'd come here first.
I also haven't approached the guy about it because when I do, I'd like it to be by surprise and don't want to tip him off that I'm thinking about reporting him.
Anyone got any ideas on how they'd do this? | Co-worker wrote personal information about me and fucked up shit on comment cards at restaurants, I'm pissed about it, I'm looking for ideas on how to make the shit hawks fly. |
t3_1e88q3 | relationships | My (23f) boyfriend (33m) got caught seeing another woman behind my back...again. | I met my boyfriend a year ago. Things got serious very fast and every day since I've met him has been incredible. Every day I go to bed feeling lucky to have him and I saw myself being with him forever.
About 4 months into our relationship he suddenly broke up with me. I was so devastated that I had to miss work for a week. He wouldn't provide me with answers. The two weeks before that I could feel him drifting. It killed me. We had talked about marriage already (crazy, I know) and were completely inseparable. A few weeks later I found out he broke it off with me because he met someone else.
A week after this happened, he called me and begged for me back. He was hysterical and I could tell he hated himself for what he did. I gave him another chance. Of course there were looming trust issues and insecurities but we were happy again. I got that feeling back that we were in it for the long haul.
On Friday night he told me was going out with a guy friend. I left work early to pick up his son so he could go out. An hour later I got a call saying she was looking at him eating dinner in a restaurant with another woman.
Both times this has happened, he's been caught. My confusion stems from the happiness we have at home. Our sex life is good, we love our children, (one mine, one his) and we were building a good life together. He said he will go to therapy to figure himself out because he wants to fix it. But I feel like this sort of thing happening twice is a really bad sign. But I know that the love is there. I need an outside source to tell me if I'm being a naive idiot or if its possible we can work this out.
Also, things have never gotten physical with these women. | BOYFRIEND CAUGHT CASUALLY DATING BEHIND MY BACK FOR THE SECOND TIME EVEN THOUGH HE SAYS HE IS SATISFIED WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP. |
t3_2bm21w | relationships | I [20 M] said "I Love You" to my girlfriend [19 F], she didn't reciprocate. | This is a generally light problem, but I just need a little guidance. I've been dating this girl for about 5 months now, and while I've had my fair share of short, nonsensical relationships, this is my first actual steady girlfriend. Anyways, last week when I was visiting her, I blurted "it" out. She didn't say it back, but it wasn't awkward or anything, and nothing's changed so I'm not super worried about it. The only thing I'm confused about is how to move forward. I'm supposed to just wait until she's ready and says it to say it again, right? | Blurted out I Love You, she didn't respond. It's not awkward, but as an inexperienced boyfriend, how do i move forward? |
t3_1oyfc8 | relationships | Me [18M] with a girl I like [18F] have been hanging out for a couple months now, unsure of what to do. | So we started talking a couple months ago and have been hanging a couple times a week for the last 2 months. The other night after watching a movie I walked her home and kissed her and said goodnight.
The next day we were texting and she asked if I thought we were going out. I told her I wasn't sure and then asked her what she thought. She said, "I like hanging out with you but I'm not sure if I need a relationship. I'm honestly not sure."
Should I keep on hanging out with her, not try to push her into going out with me and just hope she'll want to go out with me one day? Or should I just stay friends with her, hang out with other girls more actively and know its never going to happen with her? | I like a girl, says she doesn't know if she wants a relationship, should I just be friends and know it will never happen? |
t3_34ss31 | relationships | I [20 M] was adopted to a loving family, but want to know about my biological parents. How do I ask my parents without offending them? | So I, my brother [17 M], and sister [14 F] were all adopted from birth to a loving home that has given us every opportunity in life. My parents are the best, and I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but their is a part of me that wants to know about my biological parents. I don't want to leave the life I have, its really just curiosity as to where I came from. I've had this nagging curiosity for a while, so before I went back up to college this year, I kinda.... opened my parent's safe and read my adoption papers. They did not say much, so here is what I know.
My biological mother was very young at my conception. Approx 16-18 (her birth-date was on the forms).
My biological father was not present at my birth. I found out from my mom a long time ago he was not "in the picture" with my biological during pregnancy and strongly pushed her to get an abortion (good thing she didn't).
My biological mothers name starts with R
I was born in New Haven Hospital, my biological mother lived in this city.
This is all I know, and I want to ask my parents about these things and ask if I could possibly meet my biological parents (if they are alive and want to meet me). So I have two questions: 1) How should I approach asking my parents, and 2) What are somethings I should definitely ask. If you have been in this same experience, I do not mind reading a full story since you read mine! | I am adopted, I want to know more about my biological parents, and I want to know how to approach my parents/what to ask. |
t3_jz3o1 | AskReddit | What types of biography questions would you ask your coworkers? | I'm completely blanking right now, so *any* input would be most welcome.
I'm updating a biography book we use here at work which includes both mandatory and optional questions.
- - - -
**The mandatory questions I have so far include:**
* Preferred Name: (ex. Sam)
* Name listed in UAB Directory: (ex. Samuel)
* Department & Position: (ex. Professor, School of Health Professions)
* Years employed:
* Preferred e-mail:
* Campus Phone:
* Campus Address: (ex. FF B84)
* Physical Location Address: (ex. 1222 49th Street South, zip 0100)
* Birthday: (ex. 08/11)
- - - -
The optional questions are supposed to be "fun" but also appropriate for a professional (university) setting. This is the part with which I am struggling the most.
**Previous optional questions included:**
* Favourite thing about our campus:
* Favourite restaurant near campus:
* Favourite place you've traveled:
* Favourite hobby:
* Favourite TV shows:
* Favourite movies:
* Favourite books:
* Favourite musicians/bands:
* Do you play any instruments?:
* Do you have any notable awards?:
* Do you have any pets?:
I'm not completely sold on the old list at all.
I do like the idea of asking an individual's favourite local spots, as it could help newcomers *and* outdaters discover something new and intriguing within our city. I'm also leaning toward asking a question regarding family (we ask about pets, yet have no clue regarding spouse or children), though I don't know how to phrase this type of question.
Any thoughts or suggestions? | What are some work-appropriate questions you might ask coworkers and colleagues to get to know them better? Bonus points for questions that are university-centric in addition to interesting. |
t3_4nd6tr | relationships | Me 30m her 27f we broke up a few days ago and she wants back, staring at a 2 year ldr, been together 3yrs | We live together, we are both sad. She has an apartment lined up in another town due to school that she moves to in a month and a half.
We broke up because she couldn't do LDR and I couldn't move. She now says that she is willing to try long distance, but two years is huge and it is across 3 timezones. I have had not that many breakups. Is it a normal stage to want to get back immediately? Should I let her go?
Is there a way i can say: we are broken up for now but we love each other and want to support each other and when she is back we can try to rekindle things?
Is that horribly selfish? | Breakups suck. Don't know if I want to be. If not can I leave things somewhat open ended without being a huge turd? |
t3_1uziwr | relationships | My[40M] wife[38F] of nearly 14yrs (together for 20yrs) has a history of sexual transgressions throughout our relationship. | Before anyone says 'well, then why are you still with her?', here's the timeline.
She cheated on her then-boyfriend with me and then broke up with him. We started dating and things were fine until 4yrs later when she slept with someone else while away on vacation b/c she was angry at me (her words) becasue I didn't go with her. She confessed to it (I had no idea it had happened) and we worked through it.
Then about 2yrs later, I caught her 'cybering' with a mutual friend. She said she was sorry and that she wasn't thinking. We had a good talk, she was contrite and I put it out of my mind.
Skip to a year after this, I catch her necking with another mutual friend while I'm in another room 10ft away. I left for a few weeks, but eventually came back.
So now, 15yrs later and married, I catch her swapping nude pics with another man she met at her gym (also married). Her excuse this time was that she felt I was distant and needed to connect to someone but beyond that, she doesn't know why she did it (she admits that she knew if was wrong when she was doing it, but didn't stop).
Now she wants counseling so she can figure out why she keeps doing this. I want to make this work (we have one child and half our lives together) but am I just kidding myself? | GF/Wife of 20 years has a repeating pattern of extramarital transgressions. At what point do I cut bait? |
t3_14s3s0 | dating_advice | [20M] College senior, have I lost my touch? | A little background story... Back in the day (19ish) I used to be a big poon hound, I mean I would get laid all the time by girls that were probably a step above me. Eventually I got in some long term relationships, but was never a month without someone else to have companionship.
Fast forward to today, I have been 6 months single, heart-broken by I must say the girl of my dreams (beauty queen, cool family, engineering student, freak in bed). While I have moved past this, I have also been pretty upset I haven't really gotten anyone new lately, I mean my usual is to upgrade but I fear I might have reached the top on this one.
I am graduating college this year and already am hired as a software engineer (70k+), I am fairly attractive, fit (long distance running, weight lifting), charismatic, and generally have a blast all the time. BUT it seems like after a first date with an attractive, smart, girl...the relationship kinda fizzles out. I can't even get one night stands like I used to when I was a freshman and sophmore, and when I do, they are sub-par I must say.
My question is, do women get harder to attract at an older age? (19yr olds vs 21-24yr olds) or have I just lost my touch? I am not out to get laid here I just am getting frustrating finding someone to share my life with, I just don't get what women want I am not ugly, in shape, intelligent, funny, and successful. Like seriously can you guys spot something I am doing wrong? | Successful college senior having trouble getting women now than when I was younger. Do girls get harder to get when they get older or am I doing something wrong? |
t3_4i0vyq | relationships | I [20 f] have broken up with my boyfriend [23 m] of six months and i feel extremely conflicted | So last monday i broke up with my boyfriend because i was convinced i wasn't in love with him anymore.
Ofcourse i was said but i thought it was because it hurt him so much and memories and stuff
Well yesterday i cried all day convinced i made a mistake, feeling terrible and lonely. Today it's a lot and i thought it was just the sadness coming out but now i feel again like texting that i fucked up.
I just have no idea if i just mis being in a relationship or if i really miss him or that maybe it's normal feeling like this when you just come out of a (your first) relationship? I hope someone with far more experience could give me some insight | i just broke up with my boyfriend, feel terrible but don't know if it's missing having a realtionship or him or if this is normal? |
t3_51ofgr | personalfinance | First credit card | Sorry for being long winded.
I'm 19. I'm thinking of getting my first credit card. I likely have ~~zero credit history~~poor credit history. ~~I don't know what it would be from if I did.~~
I'm currently shopping around for a used jeep cherokee on Craigslist, as it was my first vehicle— that ended up being sold by my parents while I was away at college for the year. I didn't take it with me. Transferring to a different college in the spring.
The whole jeep thing has me thinking that I should probably start thinking about building credit for the future, and one of the better ways I've seen is to have low expenses on a credit card. There's so much information to sift through that I'd appreciate some help | 19. *Almost* no credit history. Thinking of getting credit card to build it. Need to know where to look and for what to look. |
t3_2tozxo | relationships | M25 It's been over a year. Still can't stop thinking about her. Will this ever go away? | So my ex and I broke up November of 2013 after being together almost 4 years. It wasn't mutual, she ended things with me. But all things considered it's been a pretty good year or so after. I read a bunch on how to handle it and did what I took to be the "right" things to do after a break up. Cut off all contact, Focused on myself, I got in better shape, took up rock climbing, improv and woodworking, taking the GMAT soon, traveled a ton, dated a few girls and had pretty good success. Kind of dating one right now even. But not a day goes by where I don't think about her. Where I don't wonder if I'm going to bump into her on the street (we both still live in the same city it is a big city though) or even hope to see her. It's weird. Is this normal? I don't want to think about her but I do. I always figured it would go away and it has to a degree but I want it to just stop. Is it ever just going to stop or should I just resign myself to the fact that this is just how it is? | Broke up with long time GF over a year ago, had pretty good year, still think about her daily but want to stop. Will it go away? |
t3_37dqch | offmychest | I don't know what to do. | I can't go much into detail because of my own safety...
Let's just say I have this friend named Frank. Frank and I have a history in illegal activities we did together.
We ultimately got caught, I was free to go while Frank was brought to court and whatnot. He is now on probation and had to pay the fees. After months of silence, Frank calls me up and wants to me meet me. During the meeting we discussed the fees and fines he had to pay for the lawsuit and that he wants a stupid high amount of money from me. Think for yourself about what happens if I do not pay up.
The police isn't going to do much, my country's witness protection is utterly worthless. Besides, I can't really go to the police anyway. And even if he did get locked up, he's still got friends.
So now I'm sitting here and drinking for the third day, trying to think of something to keep going. Selling everything I have and emptying my bank account might give me around ten grand. I could leave the country, but I won't get a fucking visa for longer than a year. Do I just kill myself? I don't see any difference in leaving or killing myself. I'm losing everyone I love anyway and I won't even be able to say goodbye. Well, the only person that matters to me is my mother. I always made sure not to have any close friends or relationships, because I knew it was going to end like this.
If I decide to leave the country, how am I supposed to get a job? I'll just end up homeless anyway.
Where the fuck do I go from here. What I am supposed to do...
I am wide aware that this is all my very own fault. I have never been proud of this. It's crazy what money makes people do. | for the teens and youngsters: stay in school, listen to your parents, dont do criminal stuff, dont do drugs. |
t3_1z7g2c | relationship_advice | I 20f feel keep feeling like I want to break up with my bf 20m. | So we've been dating for almost a year. Recently we've had a big rough patch and I've been really trying to make it work. Recently though it feels as though I'm the only one putting in effort.
When I ask him if he wants to hang out he says sure and when I try to come up with ideas he shoots then down saying he's tired or doesn't feel well.
We're both full time college students and I also work 10hrs a week in addition to classes. We have opposite schedules and weekends are some of the only times we see each other.
Granted this is just my side but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of feeling like he doesn't care or doesn't want to see me. He always tries to get me to play new video games with him but he gets ahead of me and sometimes loses himself which I've tried talking to him about but he gets upset.
I've mentioned some of this a couple times the past few weeks and he says he'll try but it feels like every week I'm back to square one. I keep feeling like its not worth it because I keep becoming unhappy because of it. I feel stuck since sometimes it does work. Granted that's how relationships are but I feel a bit lost. | I don't feel like my boyfriend is trying anymore even after I talked I him and part of me just wants to give up. |
t3_1sedok | relationships | My neighbors [college guys] won't shut up. [21/f] | I'll keep this short and sweet. I live in a 2-bedroom apartment with my roommate. The guys below us frequently make tons of noise at all hours of the night. We don't even know what they're doing. Maybe they're partying all the time. Maybe they're drunks who are chronically impaired. Whatever the reason, they scream, shout and bang around at all hours and it pisses us off. I have gone downstairs and complained 3 times. Last night I had to call the cops twice. I had already called the cops one time before that. I've tried asking the landlady for advice and she advised me to call the police, which I've been doing with not too much of an effect. I even left a note on the door this morning. If they still keep it up, what the hell do I do? | Loud annoying neighbors won't shut up no matter how many times I complain. I'm a student and I need my sleep, dammit. |
t3_3y1948 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my ex girlfriend [26 F] almost 6 years, How do I get over her? It's been 6 months. I seem to have hit a road block and things are getting more and more painful every day. Help | I was with my GF for just shy of 6 years. She was my best friend, we did everything together, lived together for 5 of those years. We broke up mutually about 6 months ago as our careers (which we won't sacrifice) are taking us both to wildly different places and she had also decided that I was more in love with her than she was with me.
It was amicable, no fighting, we are friendly when we do communicate which isn't often unless something comes up. We have completely different groups of friends, have our own hobbies etc. so don't run into each other. She is definitely moving on, has a bunch of fuck buddies at her work and elsewhere (which doesn't bother me really as I have a few girls I have slept with too). We have given each other space, we have gone no contact for long periods of time.
However, I can't seem to move on. She is all I think about, I've hit the gym and lost weight, slept with several girls/have some into me that I also am into. I have hobbies, hang out with my friends weekly, have been doing new things alone and with friends, I have school as well, also a nice place, car, etc. I can't seem to get past her no matter what I try and it's become incredibly painful, lonely, and distracting. I am still just as sad as when we broke up. I've never been like this in a relationship but this girl I thought I would grow old with and I lost my lover and best friend at the same time. I know time is supposed to heal but I'm at 6 months and I still feel just as sad/lonely/missing her as at first. I hate it. What do I do? I want to be done with this pain, I want to move on. I just don't get it, I am doing all these things and yet I'm still not moving on at all, I really want to. | How do I get past my ex gf of almost 6 years. Tried a lot and still lonely, sad, and missing her like it was yesterday. |
t3_atcns | AskReddit | Alright, let's be honest: How many of us are RESPONSIBLE for the demise of Conan's show? | As we all know, there has been a ton of support for Conan over the past few weeks. That's great - a ton of people really love what he does, and were truly upset at NBC's decision to mess shit up.
**Here's my question**: How many of us can be held accountable? NBC intervened largely due to poor ratings - enough people just weren't watching his show. I'm wondering how many of the people (myself included) who are "WITH COCO" *actually* tuned in to watch the show regularly. You know, on TV.
I love Conan O'Brien. I did some Tivo'ing of Late Night back in the day. I watched the last show last night, and I was really feeling it when he got a little choked up giving that last little speech before introducing Will Ferrel. BUT, I will say that it has been a looong time since I actually sat down in the front of the TV to watch The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien.
It's a sad thing. I think that even though there were so many people who were/are With Coco, not nearly enough of them did what matters most - watching him regularly, giving him the ratings he deserves. Is it because he attracts more of a geeky crowd, and geeks seem to be more drawn surfing the internet than watching TV? Perhaps. And perhaps even if all of the supporters cared enough to watch the show regularly, it still wouldn't have been good enough for NBC. Either way, I think it's time for some reflection. | The people who are "With Coco" greatly outnumber the people who actually watched the show. We were part of the problem. |
t3_1mhn4z | relationships | Me[18M] with my unclear relationship [18F] 1 year, Long distance+phone calls--not sure if mutual, driving me crazy. | I have had feelings for her for about 4 years. Since she moved, I have been the only one that has kept in touch with her. She considers me her best friend and the only way to talk to her is through phone calls and texting (Mostly phone calls).
She sometimes calls me but I do most of the calling which really seems like I'm the only one who tries. However, I haven't seen her face in a year. Only hear her voice like every other week and we talk for a long time each conversation.
We have deep conversations about life, relationships, philosophy, each other's future, and the most random things and it goes on with laughs and whatnot.
Though I have not seen her face in a long time, I still think about her everyday and almost every minute. It drives me crazy because I feel like nothing is mutual past friends. It's as if I might be just wasting my time and only going to hurt myself in the end. We have our differences. She is religious and I'm not. She's constantly focusing on goals and aspirations and I'm just taking it easy.
But a part of me still feels like there is something that would make us be happy together in the far future. No, she has not shown any real sign that she has any feeling towards me, but she also has never been in a relationship whatsoever.
I don't know what else to say other than it drives me crazy and don't know whether if I should continue to call her or not. Or maybe I should just accept us as friends and still talk regularly. I don't know. I just don't know.. | Feelings for her for 4 years, long distance, phone convos, not sure if feelings mutual, wasting time? Friends? IDK |
t3_1rb7oh | tifu | TIFU by attending a MLP club | I was walking back to my dorm, from the dining hall and saw a visual novel being played on a projector in a club room.
I was ecstatic. It's hard for me to make friends because of my different interests. One of those interests is reading visual novels! (or VNs as I like to call it) So I go in, and ask if that's a VN. It obviously was, so I ask if I could sit down and watch.
I knew something was wrong when I saw that one of the characters was named "Twilight." I was actually really worried when NONE of the characters had Japanese names, because VNs are extremely popular over there, so that's where they all come from.
I continued to watch and started to notice very slowly what type of club it was, a My Little Pony club. I stayed for a little bit, as to not be rude (for a bit, I mean like 30 seconds). But after that I NOPE-d the FUCK out of there.
I have nothing against people who watch MLP, but I was sad that I wasn't able to find friends... | I accidentally go to a MLP club because of my strong interest in visual novels. Life said "FUCK YOU! Trying to make friends?!?!?!" |
t3_3ahsh8 | relationships | Me (23F) with grandma (71F). She raised me and I moved home after college to save money. She's now shaming me for going out on occasion. | Apologies if this has bad formatting and grammar as I am on mobile.
Brief backstory: raised by grandma, went to school in a large city, moved home, had a few relationships while I was at school.
Today:
I was seeing a guy from my hometown for ~4.5 months. The relationship was awful and so I broke it off. We are both seeing new people.
So I haven't been out and about in at least six months. I've either been working or just haven't felt up to it. Tonight I decided to stay out late for the first time in literally over six months. Closer to a year if you don't count the times I've been out in my college town.
Tonight I felt like I had to stay out. I was doing damage control after my ex decided spreading rumors was a good idea.
I get home and it's around 3. My town has less than 6000 people. I was dropped off by a DD. I'm more than okay. Well my grandma seems to have it in her head that my ex is beating me up because I didn't get home before midnight. I'm came home to her screaming at me because I'm "ruining my current relationship " and I'm "being beaten."
This may be a long shot, but how on earth do I convince her that everything is fine? That I'm not being beaten and that I'm not ruining my chances with current guy? (She's fine with me staying at Current Guys house overnight in the second largest city in the state though........). | Is there a way to convince grandma that I'm okay and not ruining my life just because I stay out past midnight ~twice a year? |
t3_11dy05 | AskReddit | I broke something off the senior partners desk today, should I try to fix it over the weekend? | I'm a (24)(f) assistant at a medium size firm. Its a pretty laid back firm and I feel comfortable around most of my colleagues. Well except one...the senior partner. I get really nervous talking to him for fear of saying something stupid because I'm socially awkward around people that intimidate me. He's not a bad guy and I know that most of my anxiety is made up in my head. I just really want to impress him, which is what makes me nervous.
Anyway, so early I took a fax to his office for hand delivery. As I was leaving my shirt caught onto the corner of this standing glass paper organizer ([the one on the far right](
The top tallest pieces of glass broke off but didn't shatter. I'm kind of a wiz with crafts and glue guns so I was thinking of coming in tomorrow to attempt to fix it. I mean the look on his face when he saw that it broke was as if I had just killed his dog. He is the type of person who never throws anything away and a coworker told me he's had it for 10+ years so I'm assuming it has some type of sentimental value to him. I just feel awful but I don't know if attempting to fix it would upset him more? What to do?? | I broke a glass piece off the senior partners desk that I think was important to him. I'm very intimidated by him and feel awful about it. I think I can fix it, should I try? |
t3_4fvhuo | legaladvice | [FL] Water company screwing us! | Hi! I have a really shitty water provider here in Florida. This month, along with almost every month, I received a letter with my bill stating that the quality levels were - yet again - not up to standard. "Dont worry though, only prolonged exposure to these substances will harm you" is what ive been told since moving in about 5 years ago.
So, our normal water quality is bad. Bad enough that we are repeatedly sent notices about it, and promises that they will fix it - which they havent.
On top of this 'normal' water situation, at least once a month we are under a boil water notice for 3-4 days for whatever reason. Let me tell you, its not too great waking up and having a glass of water that tastes like shit, going out to the yard and seeing the "DONT DRINK THE WATER" signs everywhere.
So to recap, our water is always shit, and a substantial portion of the time, the water we pay for isnt actually even usable for most human activities. They have dont nothing i the 5 years ive lived here, in fact, the boil water notices have increased if nothing else.
On top of this, my bill this month was $120! $120 for 2 people! $120 for 2 people who cant always even use the water! $120 for water that - even when usable - is contaminated enough they have to warn us!
Is there anything we can do? I feel like this is borderline extortion. | We have to pay this shitty company too much money for a shitty product that we cant even always use, and even when we can, it is so shitty it comes with a warning label. |
t3_2xjfxc | dogs | How do I teach my 2yo Pointer-mix that neighbors walking to their apartments is okay but would-be burglars and murderers are not? | Title is silly, I know.
My pointer-mix, Willow (f/2-2.5/spayed), is a great guard dog but almost to a fault.
If a car door slams at night when we're in bed, she will either: grumble, growl, rush to the glass door and growl, or rush to the glass door and bark a few times/until the threat has passed.
If it's the middle of the day and the neighbors next door are making noise as they go to their apartment(s), she will do all of the above, except at the front door.
We've tried praising her when she just stands and "points" at the noise instead of barking, saying "Willow, come" and praising that behavior, and of course saying "no" in various forms.
She is very smart and can catch on to a command within a day (seriously she learned how to jump through three different size hoops in about 30 min /brag), but we're not sure what to do/what to reward her for. Do we need to practice making noise outside and praising her for not barking?
She's obviously protective and I love that she guards us and our apartment, but I'm willing to give that security up if it means she will just ctfo.
She is very high energy, but not so much anxious. She just got some boosters this week and the vet said she was "perfect" in body and mind, his words not mine. | dog growls or barks at anyone who makes noise outside of the apartment. What do I teach her to stop this behavior? |
t3_2l4vf7 | relationships | I [26F] with [30M] 2 dates in want to take things slow without just confusing him. | So, I'm kind of shy/bad at intimacy/cat lady, and all of my romantic experiments have kind of sucked (things move faster than I'm comfortable with, I freak out and bail after awkward and unsatisfying sex is the general pattern). After the last fellow I decided that THIS TIME I will be the one setting the pace and getting what I want. Btw my pace is basically glacial.
A couple of weeks ago I met someone through friends. Found out we've got a lot in common- art, cycling, great legs, etc. Went out on a couple of dates with him, and I've just got a good feeling about this. I think he's adorable, and that we could be good for each other.
I've kept things pretty chaste so far, nothing beyond hugging yet but I can tell (and I've gotten wise) that he wants more and I'm worried that I may ice him out before I get warmed up. Not terribly concerned that he's too busy drowning in pussy for girls like me (I saw his transformers collection after all) but just that maybe he doesn't have the confidence and will give up or something.
So I guess I am asking tips to keep things moving without that "give an inch and he'll take a mile" issue. | I want to control the pace of the relationship and take it slow, concerned that this could be read as lack of interest. |
t3_1yrqlx | relationships | Me 29M with my wife 27F togeter 11 years Married 5. I have been cheated on twice now. | So we started dating in high school. We moved in together right out of high school and have been living together for about 10 years. Two years ago we picked up and moved to a new city to explore new and exciting things. I felt like things were going great. But about a 6 months ago she started surrounding herself with guy friends and acting distant. About 3 weeks ago she drops the bombshell on me that she thinks she no longer loves me and is seriously considering a divorce. I convinced her to do couples counseling with me.
After our first week of couples counseling I went to meet her downtown for lunch like I do every week and she gave me a letter. It basically said that she had slept with a random guy at a social media even she had attended. This is the second time she has cheated on me, the 1st time was before we were married. It makes me sick to my stomach! But I still love her and want to fight for this relationship.
What is wrong with me? Why do I have this desire to fight so hard to keep someone around who keeps cheating and has told me she does not love me anymore.
I talked her into giving our relationship a fighting chance for 3 months. We are both going to see individual counselors to try and figure ourselves out. But for the last couple days it seems like we have been ignoring everything and living our lifes like we used to. It feels very akward and forced.
I have been with her for so long I am honestly terrified of being on my own. I am a very introverted person and have not really made any friends outside of her circe of friends scence we have moved to this city. I am terrified of being alone in this city. | Wife has cheated twice now. I still want to fight for her. I am sick of my counselor telling me that I have love addiction. What is wrong with loving someone unconditionally and wanting to fight for them? |
t3_3vw6sa | relationships | I [19 F] think that this guy [19 M] I have been casually seeing is just keeping me around as his second choice to a his best friend [18 F] | I have been talking and have been casually seeing this guy since the begging of the school year. I am a sophomore in college and he is a freshman, and he is best friends with this gorgeous, very flirty girl. I guess at the very beginning of the year, before we hooked up, he was trying to get with her but they ended up just being friends as she is seeing an older guy. He has continued to show a lot of interest and we talk all the time, but I can't ignore my gut feeling that if at any point this girl was down for him, he would drop me at the opportunity to hook up with her. I feel like this guys just might not be worth it and I am scared of getting hurt. We haven't talked about us at all and wonder if I should to see where he is at? Is this is a legitimate concern? | Guy I am casually seeing is best friends with a girl he wanted to hook up with, I am worried and want to try to talk to him about us, or am considering just calling it quits |
t3_4xbspc | relationships | My girlfriend [26F] used to be a serial cheater. I [28M] asked her to stop hanging out with some of her guy friends that I feel are inappropriate. She says I'm being hypocritical. Am I? | We've been together 2 years, lived together for 1.
My girlfriend Abby used to be a serial cheater. She cheated in 4 past relationships, and says she regrets every second of it. Most happened when she was a teenager, and the last time she cheated was over 5 years ago. She's always been up front about it and how much she regretted and learned from it, so I believe that she has changed.
She, however, has 2 guy friends that make me very uncomfortable. They tend to be very flirty, drunk text her a lot, make a lot of sexual jokes, and will sometimes get a bit handsy when they're all out drinking. I asked her recently to stop hanging out with them. I trust her, but I think that given her past it is not insane for me to want her to not be around these guys who clearly don't respect our relationship.
She says I'm being hypocritical. Recently I had an ex of mine move to the city we live in for work. We hadn't really talked much in the last few years, but got caught up. We dated for like 3 months back in college, but she was one of my best friends for years and to this day I still consider her a very important person in my life. We hang out together pretty regularly.
Because of this, my girlfriend says I have no right to tell her who she can and can't hang out with. That it's hypocritical for me to go out drinking with an ex, when she has never even kissed these guy friends of hers.
I don't know how to get her to see that it isn't even close to the same thing. But am I being hypocritical? Is she right? Or am I? | My girlfriend used to be a serial cheater and has two guy friends that make me uncomfortable. I want her to stop hanging out with them, she says I'm hypocritical because I hang out with an ex. |
t3_29sqyg | Advice | Need advice and perhaps some perspective for anyone who's experienced something similar to this if possible? | I'm aspiring to have a job which will require a lot of creativity and hard work which i am fine with. However, about 2 and a half years ago i went through some traumatic times and that kind of put me in a worry spiral about the future and with the added fact that i was in uni and i was a good enough student to never go to lectures and just go to exams, I would stay at home all the time and just sort of worry. Now I am over this trauma more or less but I continue this worry spiral where i don't feel very confident speaking to people whereas before i was alright with people. I'm now being seen as kind of weird and 'out of it' which is understandable because i am. The reason i like this worry is because i intend to do a job which requires creativity and when i'm worried/anxious my mind goes very fast and i have ideas which i wouldn't have normally, they are just sort of flashes and some seem to come from nowhere. I fear this will go if i get my life in order and start thinking about things objectively, perhaps i'll just feel ok and think about things in a measured fashion and feel uninspired. The worry spiral is similar to that feeling of frenzy you get when you're coming up with a new idea that you want to pursue. Just really fast thoughts bombarding you. But that frenzy state in a good objective 'normal' state of mind is hard to get going. The worry is easy. | i'm afraid getting my life in order may kill my creativity and change my thought patterns in a way which will make me a different person that i don't necessarily want to be |
t3_3wz0t5 | askwomenadvice | My girlfriend [19-F] has requested some things of me [19-M]. She doesn't think I'm doing well. What do I do to show her I am trying? [3 years] | Without going to far into detail; my girlfriend has requested some things of me. Things like: control your anger more, smoke weed less, do stuff for me more often, etc.
I feel like I am often trying hard to do better with these things, and in some areas I feel like I have shown improvement. When whether or not she thinks I am doing well or showing any improvement comes up it seems like she thinks I am never doing enough. It kills me to be trying so hard and trying to keep track of all of these requests, and at the same time learning a complex new job, dealing with emotional problems, etc, and then be told that I'm not doing it well enough.
What can I do differently to show her that I am trying really hard? And how can I keep my sanity and still make her happy? | My girlfriend is requesting things of me, I'm trying really hard. She thinks I'm not. What do I do to show her I'm trying really hard? |
t3_34wxv8 | relationships | Me(18M) have been close friends with this guy(19M) who has never had any luck with women we both like another very close friend (18F) | Well throughout my teenage years I(now 18M) have always had a lucky streak with the ladies(will probably get bashed for that), always knew what to say, what to do. However 6 months ago I broke up with a girl I was with for 2 years, it was a pretty shit break up and found myself at the bottom of a lot of bottles and empty cigarette boxes. A few months back I became quite intimate with the crush my friend (19M) had just given up on. Being the good friend he is, he took in on the chin and said it didn't matter (that didn't end well and is only important to show this has happened before). He started falling for one of our close friends(18F).
The problem is that he sees her a lot and she is very physical E.G leaning against you, putting her legs across you etc. Seeing as he has no previous knowledge with women, he took this the wrong way. She has been in a dysfunctional relationship for the past two years that recently finished.
Her and I have always have a strange lover relationship, we flirt, hold hands, I buy her stuff, whatever but it isn't any bit intimate just simply for fun. But recently I feel that I've fallen for her. And she had definitely come out slightly about being okay with me liking her.
A month or two back my friend decided to try his luck with this who started talking to him, he blew that and didn't care about women for a while.
The past few days have been extremely odd for both I and our female friend and this morning I got a message from my male friend saying that how I was acting yesterday upset him and he realises now he truly likes her.
So what I'm asking is for help; he likes her but she only sees him as a friend, I like her and have grown quite close in the past fews weeks and she's shown slight signs back. | I'm good at initiating intimate relationships with women, my friend isn't, we both like this girl, she friendszoned him and kinda likes me, she's just out of a break up. |
t3_1skpco | cats | Trying to toilet train my kitties and thought you guys might be able to offer some insight... Cute kitty photo inside, for those of you who were looking for that, too. | This is a text-based cat post but, if you came here wanting a photo of a cute kitty, I will also provide that [here] so as to not disappoint anyone. Now, onward.
About 2-3 weeks ago, I started to try to toilet train my two 3 year old male cats. I purchased a bowl that would fit in the toilet and used a thick cardboard to really stabilize it so that they would never fall in. Things were going find for a while... they were using the pan and everything, and then they just stopped pooping in it. This was after I started cutting a small hole in the bottom of the bowl to start to ween them. They have no issues peeing in it but pooping is another story. If I don't keep the bathtub full of water, they will use that or poop right beside the tub. I have even found piles on dirty clothes that I had waiting to go in the laundry. I have tried to "catch them" in the act and put them on the toilet, which works sometimes, but their "poop time" is usually in the middle of the night so, unless I hear the one crying because he is trying to find a good spot to go, I can't always be around to do that. I have treated them for getting up on the toilet, treated then for using it, given them love and attention and praise, tried putting cat nip in with the litter, cleaned the litter after EVERY use, put some pieces of "business" in the bowl to try to give them the hint... Nothing seems to be working. Anyone have any experience that may be able to help? I really would love for them to complete their training... they were doing so well! | Am trying to toilet train my cats and don't understand why they will pee in the "toilet litter pan" but have stopped pooing in it and will poop anywhere else. |
t3_2zq8k7 | weddingplanning | Bridesmaid/MOH dilemma, advice desperately needed! | So I need some unbiased advice from some fellow brides to be.
I am planning on having two bridesmaids in my wedding, my sister and my best friend. My sister just recently got remarried and I was her maid of honor for both weddings, so I just automatically asked her to be my MOH. I talked to her first and asked her first about it. My sister and I have had a on and off relationship, but recent events over the last few years have made us close even though we don't live near each other.
When I called to talk to my best friend about being a bridesmaid (she doesn't live near me anymore either), she was very excited about it since we used to live together and we have been planning my wedding since I first started dating my FH over three years ago. We are super close and she has helped me through a lot of stuff over the years and she is close to my FH.
Now here comes the sticky part, my BFF asked me if she was going to be the MOH and when I told her that I had already asked my sister she wasn't very happy about it. She feels that she has been a bigger support for me in regards to my relationship with my FH and that she knows me way better than my sister. She even told me that she already has her MOH speech done.
I talked to my sister about it and she told me that it was fine if I demoted her, she would understand, but I heard a world of hurt in her voice when she said it.
I feel like I have been put in a tough position and that either way I will be hurting someone's feelings.
I have currently told them that I am not choosing right now.
I am hoping that weddit may be able to shed some unbiased advice on the subject as everyone I talked to, FH included, is biased one way or the other. | I asked my sister to be my MOH and now my best friend is upset that I only asked her to be my bridesmaid. |
t3_25tpib | relationship_advice | [21/f] My boyfriend [23/m] is no longer excited to have sex with me... maybe because he never wanted to commit? | So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years. Sex with him has been feeling like... well, like he's doing me a favor. Foreplay feels forced and mostly just involved blow jobs and he does not really put in effort. I'm not sure if he just has a low sex drive? It seems like he never really wants to have sex, though he will say he does when he is with me. This has been going on for about a year or so, which is when we decided to become official.
Before this, he had never had a good relationship and he has had numerous sexual partners (he believes that the number is around 40 or so) and he is very excited by casual sex. When we first met, we slept together instantly and he just seemed enchanted by my body and so turned on all the time by me. I haven't really felt like I turn him on since we became official.
I have suggested trying to spice up our relationship, but he doesn't seem interested outside of including other women, or becoming polygamous. I am extremely opposed and I demand monogamy.
I sometimes wonder if he is unhappy being committed to me and would rather be sleeping around again like he used to. He has told me he would be unhappy without me and that he loves me, but being committed has kind of killed us in the bedroom.
We've spoken about this. He has agreed to try and be better. This was a few days ago. Since then, I brought up sex again (which honestly, I wish I weren't the one who always brought up the topic of sex.. it would be nice if I didn't have to schedule it or if HE would actually bring it up) and it seemed like he had agreed that we would (but not that he WANTED it) but then later we got into a very petty argument that resulted in him being bothered by me, so he wasn't turned on. The next day he admitted it was petty and was sorry. So. Still no sex. | Boyfriend is very used to sleeping around, monogamy has hurt our sex lives, and I'm not really sure what I can do about it. |
t3_3iws7z | askwomenadvice | Is this girl into me or is she just being friendly? | First day at my new job at taco bell, so I had to do some computer training and This girl (we'll call her Veronica) comes into the office I was doing the the training at eating an apple strudel, (Not the toaster strudel kind) and introduces herself. I introduce myself to her, and she asks me if she looks good with her newly died pink hair.I said yes it looks nice, the she offers me some of her apple strudel, I accept, but instead of handing it to me she puts the strudel from where she was eating it by my mouth and I take a vite while she was holding it. Maybe its me but I found it odd to do that with someone you just met. She leaves, and I continue on with my training.
Throughout the day she stopped by and we talked but nothing really to important. ( She is 17 and I am 16)She was a lot more friendly to me than anyone else was at my work, then halfway through the day as I am walking passed her she pinches my ass, which genuinely surprised me , because I just met her that day, I turn around and she is laughing and I smile and chuckle as well just going along with it. I overheard her talking about having a boyfriend, but he asked her to visit him and she didn't because she would have to fly there. Again this confused me because why would she act like that if she has a boyfriend.
Is she into me, or am I just taking friendlyness as something more then what it is? | First day at work girl is more friendly then everyone else pinches my ass during the day, but mentions she has a boyfriend(Possibly long distance) |
t3_3edcq9 | relationships | My [23 M] girlfriend's [23 F] ex-boyfriend wants her to work with him and he's looking for jobs for her at his start-up. She's offended that I feel a bit uneasy about it. | My girlfriend told me today that her ex-boyfriend ("Tim") voluntarily offered to look for jobs for her at the start-up he worked for. She asked me for advice since I'm currently working at a start-up as well. He believes that his start-up will hire her purely because she's smart and is just looking around for any open position. I couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy and suspicious as they dated previously (She previously told me how they made a pact a few years ago that they would get married if they were X years old and still single). I feel as this guy has an ulterior motive although they are good friends.
Despite my suspicion, I looked into the company and I think it would be a good opportunity for my girlfriend so I told her that although i felt uneasy since her ex-boyfriend was so enthusiastically trying to bring her to his company, I think she should look into it more. However, when I did mention that I felt a bit uncomfortable, she got really offended.
I'm not really sure how to feel about my girlfriend getting offended. Am I wrong to feel a little weirded out or are my suspicions unwarranted? Any advice would be lovely. | Girlfriend's ex is enthusiastically trying to bring her to his company. I'm uncomfortable with this but think it's a good idea for my girlfriend to look into this "offer". However, girlfriend is angry that I feel uncomfortable. |
t3_2wwijd | relationships | My close friend [18M] basically had a threesome - and my ex girlfriend [18F] was one of them. | I was dating this girl for about 2/3 months and we broke up a few months ago. The break-up was hard on me as it happened at a bad time where I felt horrible and was in a funk.
Anyway, my best friend told me today that my friend was boasting to all our other friends in my main social circle that he "got a blowjob five times" and how great it was. This was an hour or so before I arrived that day (a few days ago).
Now I'm not going to lie I wasn't dealing with the break up well and I made it obvious to all my friends (including him).
That fact is what's bugging me.
If he knew how badly I responded to the break up and that in many ways I hadn't gotten over it then why did he go through with it without asking me? He has known me for over 5 years but my ex for just over a year.
Another thing is that he likes the other girl and wants to date her.
After he did this (and before I was told what happened) he sent me a bunch of snapchats of both girls and one where he was under a blanket with them which I took in a jokey way. The next day he was incredibly apologetic about the whole thing and I wondered why. I know now but he never told me.
I feel like if I was over her it would be fine but it feels wrong to do nothing considering I am not.
Should I be mad? I certainly feel it but should I convey it to him? | friend didn't tell me he had a threesome with my ex and boasted about it to all my friends. To be mad or not to be, that is the question. |
t3_2x7zk8 | loseit | MFP 200 day streak and a thank you | M/20/5'9 SW:210 CW:161 GW:140?
I want to thank everyone here because this is the first time in my life that i have been able to lose a significant amount of weight and it's because of this subreddit and all the motivational posts.
I was always overweight as a child but once I left school I stopped being active so I lost all my muscle and put on about 35lbs of fat because I never checked the scales so I didn't realize how much I was putting on. I hated it, I always felt uncomfortable in public, I had no self confidence so I decided to make a change and the first step was finding this subreddit.
I didn't want to get active because I'd always feel self conscious out in public so I decided to stick to a 1200 calorie diet and drinking water. It was hard for the first couple weeks(feeling hungry a lot), but I had to convince myself that I could do it and this time I would do it. To begin with I had huge self control because some people in my family thought I wouldn't make a change so I wanted to prove them wrong, I ate less when eating out, I stopped snaking and I even skipped having cake on my birthday! So I kept going and recently I've picked up running and I'm doing muscle training at home, which I never saw myself doing a year ago.
So here is my face progress, unfortunately I didn't take any side photos so there isn't much for me to compare with:
Feel free to add me on MFP too: atunnard | I wanted to make a change and the biggest motivation for me was /r/loseit and changing my mindset to believing in myself and really wanting it. |
t3_39ig7l | relationships | (21/F) I'm not stupid | My SO (20/M) and I (21/F) have been together for almost two years now and whenever I suggest to him to talk to his best friend or bring up the topic of the two of them talking he always responds with "I don't want to", "they're annoying", "I don't want us talking" or make excuses like I don't like it when they talk (despite the fact it doesn't bother me if they do) but then go and talk to them when I'm not around.
I love him I really do; he's my world, my rock but please can he just stop lying to my face then do it because how on earth am I supposed to prove it to him that I'm fine with it when he doesn't give me a chance to. In fact how can I prove that I trust him when he says one thing to my face then do the complete opposite! | SO says he doesn't want to talk to friend because it annoys him, then goes and talks to them anyway when I'm not at home. |
t3_n57dh | AskReddit | My laptop was stolen from a lost and found. Do I have any legal claim? | So last week was finals week at my University. On Friday, I accidentally left my laptop in a classroom after I had finished my final and did not realize it until that night (I had work immediately after and it did not cross my mind). So the next day, Saturday, I returned to the building to hopefully find my laptop, but the building was locked.
On Monday I called the office in that building and was told that it had been found and put in their lost and found. After a long pause, I was told that there was a problem getting in contact with the professor who found the laptop and figuring out where it was put. I gave them my number so they could call me back, but they never did. The following day I went down to the same office I called and was informed that the professor had brought it to their office (I assume on Friday), and an office worker took the laptop to another office in the building where I was told it was locked behind a door. Somehow the laptop had disappeared, presumably stolen between that time.
I was told that I needed to file a police report with the University Police, so I did and they are apparently investigating it now. I suppose what I'm confused about is what would happen now. I have a feeling that the likelihood of them finding my laptop or who took it is slim (I don't believe there are cameras in the building). | Lost my laptop, it was found by workers at my University, and it was (presumably) stolen from them. |
t3_t7aap | personalfinance | Getting ready to buy my first car with no credit under my belt. Helps? | Alright, so I'm gearing up to buy a new car. I have little to no credit history, though I did just get a credit card and started using it this past month. First payment was yesterday, everything is paid off wonderfully. As far as a job goes, I'm a server who makes about $2000/month, but nearly all of that appears in my tips. I have plenty of paycheck stubs saved, but when I went to a local Hyundai dealership I waited around for five hours just to be told that I had insufficient proof of income. Herp derp.
Anyway, I'm getting slightly impatient for a new car because the '99 Alero I'm driving has 170k on it and Oldsmobile went out of business for a reason. Here's my question, financial friends: is it a good (or even plausible) idea to accept a "first time buyer" loan (you know the type, the ones with high interest) with the intention to refinance with another institution in a couple months when my credit score is boosted enough to do so? | Do I take a high-interest loan if my intention is to refinance after only 5 payments or so? Is this stupid? Is this smart? Is this neither here nor there? |
t3_3dow1d | relationships | How do I (28F) talk to my niece (under 3F) about her absent parents (26F & 35M) | I've had temporary custody of my niece for just about 2 months while her parents were homeless and running scams to get money for heroin. Their lifestyle fell apart when he got arrested for burglary with bodily injury and she got picked up for shoplifting. He's still in jail (and will be for a while it seems) and my sister is at some sketchy cult rehab about 3 hours away (it's free so it's her only option).
My niece is flourishing with me and my husband. She is happy and has consistency for the first time in her life. When my sister and her boyfriend signed the custody papers there was no clause for visitation and I told them when they were 6 months clean and working, paying bills and had a sponsor they could begin supervised visitation. They agreed.
Now my sister has been in rehab a month and she misses her daughter (she hasn't seen her since she fled her last rehab back in april). The people running the rehab are seemingly telling her that I'm trying to steal her child because I won't bring her to visit her. I have a friend who grew up with heroin addicts and says that 1 month clean with no access is very different from sober. I want to be sure she's committed before I expose my niece to her (my niece bore witness to her trying to jump out of a moving car on her way to the first rehab and also showed me her stash of needles "this is mommy's").
When my niece does ask about her parents I say that they had to go away for a while and we all hope they get better. Tonight she started asking me why they're taking so long to get better. What can I say? Any general advice? I'm visiting my sister on Sunday and am terrified of these people she's with who don't seem to understand my reasoning at all.
The temporary custody can only be reversed by a judge and she's out of state if that matters. Thanks. | I have custody of my niece and don't know how best to explain where her parents are when it may be a while before she sees them. |
t3_4jzo2t | relationships | Me [22F] with my BF [25M] of 9 months, he can't find a job, it's stressing me out, and my mom [47F] is suspicious | First time posting here and compared to other issues on this sub, this isn't much of one, but it's a looming problem in an otherwise very good relationship.
My boyfriend was laid off about a week after I met him-- so, he's been unemployed for our entire relationship. He's had lots of interviews and has been looking hardcore, but has had no luck and is getting desperate; he can't get a job in his field, but he also can't get a low-wage part-time job because he's overqualified (college degree).
As he has become more stressed out, so have I. I'm still in school and living with my parents, so it's not like his financial situation affects mine in any way, but I love him and want him to be happy and not have to worry about money.
Not helping is my mom, who likes him but is suspicious about the fact that he hasn't been able to find a job. Every time it comes up, she says things like, "Are you sure he didn't get fired?" or "He seems to be having a lot of trouble finding a job... why do you think that is?"
So I guess my questions are:
1. How do I put my stress aside and help alleviate his stress, since he's the one who has more of a reason and right to be stressed and upset about this?
2. This may be more of a question for r/jobs, but is my mom right to be suspicious about him having this much trouble? It never would have occurred to me to be suspicious before she said these things, but it makes me wonder if I'm being blinded by love or something. | I am stressed out about my boyfriend not being able to find work, and my mom keeps casting suspicion on him, making me more stressed. |
t3_w57yl | relationship_advice | Not sure if this belongs here...16/m Cant have feelings for anyone | Forgive me if this doesn't belong here but Im not sure if there is any other suitable place for this kind of discussion.
Im 16 years old and entering my third year of high school. All my friends around me are off in these happy lovey-type relationships and Ive been single for almost 2 years. And even my relationships before that weren't very good. The main reason for this being: I just don't have feelings for anyone and I hardly ever do. I can only think of one time that I honestly felt genuine affection towards somebody else. Other than that, I just done ever have any affection towards somebody. A frequent problem with this, is that a friend will take a liking g to me and Ill have to explain that I would go out with them, but I just dont feel anything and I dont want it to be fake and one sided. Even if the person is absolutely perfect, I cant develop any type of affectionate response toward them. I tell my friends about this and they just say "Oh youre lucky" because then I wont have the emotional rollercoster that I would be otherwise going through. But I disagree. I think these emotions and experiences are an important part in a teenagers growth and it concerns me that Im not feeling anything. So any help or theories as to why this may be occurring would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a bunch
-Pkz | While most teenagers are a mess of emotions and romances, I feel nothing for anybody and I would really like to change that. |
t3_10e9ff | AskReddit | Dear AskReddit, can you help me resolve this situation | Here is my new dilemma, I am hoping you kind people can help me rectify it.
Basically I am in an apartment that's like little 2 story houses that are all stuck together with a wall between each apartment.
The previous tenants next door never complained about my noise and I therefore thought I was ok.
So yesterday, I am playing the Mass Effect 3 demo and getting into it, and it is quite exciting, and the volume, crept up.
So, at 3pm in the afternoon I get a knock at the door, it's the neighbor's wife/gf saying that they have a baby and I am being too noisy.
Unfortunately I was a complete douche about this and said "but it's the middle of the day, I don't think I'm doing anything wrong". I then whined about working all week and I get so little time to myself and I just want to play my game but will turn it down.
I shamed myself basically and wasn't very neighborly at all.
Anyway, I had a dummy-spit and turned off the game and then turned on some Trance Around the World so that I could vacuum.
Now, I set the volume on TATW so that it wasn't louder than the vacuum cleaner, because, I figure it's within my rights to be able to clean my apartment (which I do every Sunday).
Anyway, thinking I was in the clear at exactly midnight last night the new neighbors decided to extract revenge by, I think, putting a subwoofer against the wall and vibrating it. I could barely hear a beat, it was just a big vibration.
Now, I just put some cotton wool in my ears and went to sleep no problem, but that's not the point.
Clearly I have upset them, and I was not a polite, decent person when they asked me to turn it down, so, can Reddit help me in figuring out what to do to diffuse the situation?
Do, I knock and humbly apologize, stick a letter in their mailbox? Do I mention that I heard their "revenge attack" or ask them if my noise has been better.
Should I buy them some kind of food gift? | Having a bit of a noise war with the neighbors, I was a douche when they asked me to turn my stuff down and now I want to make amends, looking for advice as to how to do this. |
t3_lk22b | AskReddit | What is an appropriate response when propositioned for sex [f]or $100? | I hooked up with someone from the bar and must have been really drunk to tell him that we could be fuck buddies (regrettably!) in the future - but upon sobering up realized I could never sleep with him again. (not attractive)
Saw him again last night at club and he wanted to hook up (surprise!) but I avoided him and he ended up calling me in the middle of the night (I ignored) and several times this morning, just now he propositioned me via text message to "Hang out for $100". I am just flabbergasted to how he has the nerve to ask me that and wish I can just tell him to fuck off and leave me alone. Should I:
* (A) Ignore him - which is what I'm presently doing but will not resolve the fact I need to tell him I don't wish to sleep with him ever again and he has the wrong ideas...
* (B) Reply in a blunt, "PASS" fashion. Which also does not resolve it...
* (C) Be "angry" and say WTF WHO DO YOU THINK I AM BLAH BLAH PROFANITIES BLAH and then proceed to tell him to never contact me again.
* (D) any better ideas? Should I just tell him I don't want to be FB, or that it was more of a one-time thing and say I shouldn't have led him on? This has never really happened to me before, although I have had ONS before. | Guy I slept with once just asked me to "hang out for the day for $100" and I need an appropriate response to him/it. |
t3_144pht | AskReddit | People who have done speech, can you help me with voices? | So I am a freshman in high school, and I thought it would be fun to join the speech team. I love my piece, but I dont know what I should do for the voices. Memorizing the piece will not be hard, but I am not sure what I am going to do with voices. The piece is called " Drugs are Bad", it is about a kid who wants to do all the right things, and the parents want him to do all the bad stuff ( weed, watch porn, etc..) Would it be funnier to have the dad to sound like a big bad pimp or something, and the mom to sound like a prude, or to have the dad sound like a geek ( sort of like irony). I dont have another idea for the mom, and ideas on how to do the voices or what voices to do will be helpful! | I need help figuring out how to do voices for a piece in speech. Son is a kid that wants to do the good things, and the parents want him to do bad things |
t3_43vjl4 | personalfinance | Roth Account - reaching "phase out" area and how it works | On the IRS webpage I find following information:
married filing jointly
< $183,000 up to the limit
$183,000 but < $193,000 a reduced amount
$193,000 zero
These numbers are based on the MAGI, which in most cases seems to be the same as AGI (I don't know for sure whether that is true for us). Looking at our salary development the last few years, our combined income from salary+bonuses hovers somewhere around 180-190k. What I am unsure about is whether "AGI" (or MAGI) will lower this number to a state where I can still contribute the max amount. I am also not sure what I should be doing if it turns out that we reach - say - 185k. How do I make sure to make the optimal financial decision?
I am happy to answer any questions that might help in figuring this out.
; | Wife and me hovering around the "phase out" area in terms of AGI and I am unsure how to decide what to contribute. |
t3_2loyw3 | relationships | My girlfriend [19F] has decided not to have sex with me any more [19M] suddenly | I have recently encountered a huge problem, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 11 months now, about a month ago she suddenly began going to church (Christian) and stopped having sex and wants to wait until marriage.
She has had sex with four guys before me ( she's my first ) and we have had a very sexual relationship before this, usually once a day at least. For the past month or so I have been trying to look at the positives because I love her but until marriage?! And no there's no alternatives with her, she's completely sold on this. She said sex before marriage makes her feel guilty.
Every time I even bring up sex she gets so mad that she ignores me. I'm starting to feel like I am whipped by her, she's constantly in control. What do I do now? I obviously don't agree with the religious beliefs she does and I'm a 19 year old guy.. You know how that is. Is it wrong to break up with her because of this? | Relationship went from daily sex to no sex until marriage due to girlfriend suddenly becoming religious. Is it wrong to break up with her or be upset. |
t3_413iac | relationships | Boyfriend [20M] of 3 years just wants be "alone". I [20F] am struggling with this. What should I do? | First off I want to apologize for any errors or mistakes during my typing of this.
So a little background on our current situation. We've been together for 3 years now and we work at the same place, we also have our own place together as well. We both suffer from depression and we both are very very bad procrastinators. And we are currently laid-off from our job.
Last night I get back from a night out with a friend and we just started talking about how we both currently feel. He is struggling with a few health problems as well as his depression. His father passed his senior year of high school and it left him pretty messed up as that was his world at the time, and every since then he's been surrounded by a abundance of people, wether it be friends or family.
He told me he's never had time to learn to live on his own and just be by himself. He also said he's terrified of losing me like he did his dad. He also feels that if im gone there will be no one to be there for him but just him. So hes using that as his motivator. that's why he just wants to be on his own and ship me back to my moms. Plus he thinks it'll help me with my struggles. But he told me this isn't a break-up it's just something he needs to do.
So right now I'm a living wreck writing this, this guy is my best friend, my one true soul mate. I don't know how I can just leave or try and convince him that I just want to help .
So should I try and talk to him since this all happened last night or should I just pack up and head to my moms. | both my SO and I are suffering from depression. But he wants to be alone and learn how to live by his own self. |
t3_4jgchl | Pets | My brother just threatened to kill my cat. Should I be worried? | Let me start off by explaining some of the backstory. I just recently went through a divorce about a year ago, and I'm still picking up the pieces. I moved back in with my parents, and my cats came with me. Although they don't have any severe behavioral problems, they're still somewhat young and very curious cats. (They're both indoor cats). They like to explore the house and walk into other bedrooms and such. My oldest one is the most curious one, and can sometimes get in the way when cleaning and such. Anyway, my 17 year old brother has been a problem for years even before I moved back in. No job, dropped out of highschool, sits at home and smokes pot all while yelling at my parents about how poorly they run the house. He's had it out for my cats on day one. Yells at them, pushes them around, complains constantly how cats are stupid and how he'd never have a cat of his own. Well, his new girlfriend is coming over to visit and he decided to finally get off his ass to help clean up the house. The entire time, like I explained before, my oldest cat was curious and kept getting in the way. (Playing with the brooms, walking in front of him, etc). Apparently he was losing it all day while I was at work, and when I came home he told my mom (yelled, actually), that he was going to kill my cat. That I was going to come home one day and my cat will be dead. I'm not sure what I should do in this situation. I can't exactly take my cats and move out just yet. My brother is known for self harm and otherwise being destructive as far as the household goes. Should I be worried for my cats? What measures can I take? One of the things I'm worried about is that my mom is a teacher. If I get HIM in trouble, won't she also face the repercussions as well? | My 17 year old brother with severe behavior problems threatened to kill my cat, and I'm worried about my mom's teaching career to do anything about it. |
t3_3tfvqe | relationships | Me [26/F] with my boyfriend [43/M], worried about getting him an inapproriate/too expensive Christmas gift | So Christmas is coming up and it's my first one with a boyfriend. I want to get him something special and a little bit extravagant/unnecessary as he never spends money on himself. He's still trying to get himself back on his feet after a recent divorce and most of his funds go towards his two teenage daughters, his mother, and paying the bills for his old house (ex-wife doesn't work). I was going to get him a nice wallet since his old one is ten years old and quite literally falling apart, but the kind he wants only ended up costing me around $30.00. Of course the cheap price isn't the issue so much as the fact that as I said I want to get him something special that he would never even think to buy himself. I ended up buying a $350.00 Movado watch (he has no watches at all) but after talking to my friends they're making me nervous that I might hurt his ego by getting him something so expensive.
Other important factors:
* We've been together since February of this year and it was kind of a whirlwind romance sort of thing
* He's 17 years older
* He's a recent divorcee who lives with his mother until he can save enough money for an apartment
* He works his ass off every day but spends his money on everyone but himself (including me)
* We haven't spoken about gifts or price limits at all
Opinions please? Thank you!! | First Christmas with boyfriend, afraid of hurting his ego/making him feel bad by getting him a potentially too expensive gift. |
t3_22kxaq | relationships | My girlfriend [18/F] is still in high school and has prom coming up, is it weird that I [19/M] am nervous about her attending? | Hey everybody, so I have been dating my current girlfriend for like three fourths of a year (it will be a year on the 14th of August). She is a senior in high school and I am a sophomore in college. The problem is that my college is 500 miles away from my hometown so we have been doing the long distance thing for the majority of our time together. It has been nothing short of perfect since the beginning, Skype dates every sunday night for many hours and whenever else we can find time during the week. We text all the time and we make sure to call each other every night before we fall asleep. We spend every minute together when I get to come home on holiday. I love this girl with my whole heart.
The first major road bump that we have hit in our relationship has come up because of Prom. We have both been very careful to make sure that neither feels like they are missing out on anything because of our relationship. That is why this has become such a big deal. I both really want her to go, and am terrified by the idea of her going. I want her to go and have fun with her friends and experience what every single high school age girl dreams of. Unfortunately, I will not be able to return home for the night because of my exam schedule.
Luckily one of our mutual friends asked to take her to the dance. She and he both assure me that there is nothing romantic going on, but I believe her much more than I believe him, meaning I think he is interested in her. She has told me many times that they don't think of each other like that but I am just not sure what to think, so is it that unreasonable for me to be nervous about her going. I would never even think to tell her that she "can't" do something but I get uncomfortable every time I think of them like that. | im in college girlfriend in highschool, she has prom and our friend asked her to go. I don't like it but I also want her to have fun. Is this unreasonable? |
t3_43qa8b | relationships | I [18M] Just started talking [16F] for just under a week. Gone from planning a date to ignoring me in a day. Need opinions | So I dm'd this girl on instagram on wednesday.. We hit it off well, she showed clear interest (Good convo, increasing kisses, flirting, banter etc.) until sunday..
We were texting all of Saturday up until 2am, we spoke about going on a date, she said she had never been on date before and seemed excited.
Then sunday comes along, complete change of mood, longer to reply, shorter and said "She will let me know when she's free" for the date, but used emoji's that would suggest positive..
Then by sunday evening she didn't reply.. Came to 10:30pm and I was going to bed, sent her a good night text also saying that if I had said anything to annoy her i'm sorry.
She said I hadn't, still seemed positive and did all the soppy goodnight.
Then I checked her snapchat and she put a story of shit mood faces, I asked her what was wrong and she said "Just in a shit mood, don't worry bout it" Asked if she wanted to talk about it and she said "nahhh"
Today (Monday) She didn't text me until I text her asking if she had sorted whatever upset her out and she said "Nahhh haha". To which I said something along the lines of "I'm here if you want to talk, don't let it get to you"
She also put on her story saying "Everyone can just fuck off".. So I have no idea but it must be bad..
So my question is, do you think she is still interested in me but is not replying because she's really upset about something
Or do you think she's completely lost interest? | Girl went from wanting to go on a date to ignoring me in a space of 2 days. Also very upset about something but won't tell me what. |
t3_24zq66 | jobs | Missed call to setup interview, left msgs, no call back. What to do? | Ok, here's the full story. I applied for a job back around thanksgiving/christmas time. Hadn't received a response for a couple of weeks afterwards, so I let it slip my mind.
Last Friday morning, while I was in a meeting, I received a phone call (couldn't answer) from this company and they left a message stating that they would like to setup an interview time and to give them a call back. After the meeting was over, I listened to the message and was pretty excited, so I called them back. Got a voicemail, so I left a message, but in my excitement, basically just said my name, that I was returning a call, and the contact number to reach me. I forgot to mention that I was calling about scheduling the interview. So, the rest of friday and the weekend passes. No call back. Before lunch on Monday, I call back and left a message with name, that I was returning a call about an interview, and my contact number.
Here it is Wednesday evening and I still haven't gotten a call back. This is a pretty large company and has the potential of being a dream job. What can I do at this point? | Missed call for interview. Left 2 messages trying to schedule a time and haven't heard anything over the course of 5 days. |
t3_40emxi | relationships | I [17/m] recently learned that the girl I like [17/f], with whom I am friends, likes someone else [18/m]. What should I do? | So I am pretty close friends with my crush, let's call her Abby. She's funny, kind, attractive, organized and hella driven. She's a senior in hs, I'm a junior. We eat lunch at school together, we talk every day, we hangout every once in a while. Definitely friends.
Recently, I found out that she likes another guy we both know (i'm 80% sure), also a senior, lets call him Matthew. I'm also friends with him, but not close friends. Matthew and Abby have been low key flirting for a while. They aren't going out yet, but it seems likely they will soon.
I didn't learn that Abby likes Matthew because she told me, but through another girl in our friend group. (Incidentally, she is Matthew's cousin. They are close.) It's now an open secret among my group.
I know that the best thing for me to do in this case would be to tell Abby how I feel. However, I don't want to do anything that will endanger our friendship, as that is something that I really value. Even if me and Abby don't become romantically entangled, she'd still be a close friend.
I have also been told that I should move on for now and wait, maybe Abby and Matthew's relationship won't work out. But I am conscious of the fact that Abby (and Matthew) will graduate in the spring and go to college.
I hope I will stay in touch with her, but there is a time clock on this thing. More experienced people out there, what should I do? | The girl I like likes someone else, and I don't want to endanger my friendship with the my crush. I'm asking for advice. |
t3_4l9jeo | relationships | Is my gf [17F] using me [18M] And or playing me? | Me and my gf have been going out of 2 months now and in the beginning everything seemed wonderful. Things now are obviously different and it may seem clear to others that she doesn't really like me anymore and that I should move on. We used to argue everyday for the first month and our arguments would be based on the fact that she stopped caring or me accusing her of not feeling the same way.
I often wonder why would she be keeping me around if she doesn't really care for me anymore. Now whenever I try to talk to her about us my words seem to go right through her. We almost never have deep conversations anymore and I've noticed that whenever she makes future plans she always says "I" instead of "We"
I would love to make this work and she does claim she loves me and only me but her actions speak way louder than her words and sometimes I feel as if she hates me instead of truly love me. Could it be she is using me for and playing with my feelings or should I give her time to come around. | Gf of 2 months has changed her ways and now seems a whole different person. She says she loves me but I only feel hate. Why is she keeping me around |
t3_2k137h | relationships | Ex [F/18] wants to see me [M/19] this weekend after a nasty break up about 2 months ago | My ex broke up with me out of the blue after the beginning of our long distance relationship, I had to move 100km away due to school. I couldn't force her to stay so she left me and she slept with another dude (more than once) just 5 days after our 1 year relationship. I went as far as asking to have her back with a poem and flowers even after she hurt me, because I'm soft, but she didn't want to. Until I cut her off and woke up a week later to 34 texts and 93 missed calls. She wants to see me and sleep with me but how will I know she won't play me and sleep with the other dude? She says she doesn't talk to him nor plan to sleep with him but she lied about that once already, with her hand on the Bible. She hurt me and all I'm grateful for is that I left the relationship on a clean slate. I could really use some sexual release but my friends are telling me not to see her. What should I do? | my ex wants to see me this weekend after she broke my heart because apparently she regrets what she did and she misses me |
t3_1lisxt | relationships | Appropriate ways to breakup with cheating boyfriend? (26/m) and (22/f) | After a week of reflection, I have come to the conclusion that my boyfriend cheated on me, the most glaring point being he caught chlamydia. We have been dating 6 months, monogamous for 2-3 months. We always use condoms. He never told me of his symptoms and I got tested and am negative (thank you Jesus). I have felt very sad for about a week but now I'm ready to break up with him. There were other signs, but I stupidly ignored them. Even before he left for vacation a week ago, I was still deep in denial and we still texted and chatted and he claimed to "miss me terribly" ugh. I feel so dumb.
He is on vacation right now, coming back on Tuesday. What are some good/appropriate ways to break up with a cheating boyfriend? I would like to add that I am an emotional person and any face to face confrontation would prob end in tears. Please help! | Boyfriend cheated on me and I want to break up without getting too emotional. But also want him to know that he hurt me. |
t3_yk9ii | relationships | Crazy ex, or I'm a douche bag? | A few years ago I was in this sort-of relationship with this awkward girl that we'll just call Girl. Girl was 18, and so was I. I had low self esteem, so when I caught on that Girl liked me I approached her and asked her if she would like to go on a date some time. She said no, but right after she left she texted me saying yes. So we were dating I guess, there was never really certainty.
She didn't like contact much, holding hands was a stretch for her. We didn't have any real dates, just things with friends. I never kissed her. After about 3 months of this I asked if we were dating, and if I was allowed to date someone (nobody specific, just the concept). She freaked out.
She said she loved me, and that she didn't want it to end. That was very shocking considering how little time we had spent together, and at this hint of her instability I decided that I should, for lack of better words, break up with her.
It turn out she had been in an abusive relationship and that was why she was so uncomfortable with any physical contact. She kept trying to win me over, but I don't see how she could love me without even knowing me very well. I thought she might just be saying these things because I had been nice to her, but there was no actual basis for a relationship.
She has continued to text me every day and if I am in any relationship she hates whoever I am dating and only refers to them as "whore". She also tries to explain that I don't really love them, I just want the sex and I should be with her because she really loves me. | dated a girl a few years back without actually dating or really being a couple, broke it off after 3 months, she has been trying to win me back ever since and insulting anyone I date |
t3_2k1ich | relationships | My best friend told me [M/17] that my girlfriend [F/16] told him that she thinks I'm boring. | I've been dating her for a little less than a month now and I thought everything was going just fine. Over the past day or 2, I noticed she was acting strange and not as talkative with me.
It upsets me when I notice this because I overthink everything and immediately think the worst. I get really disappointed in mornings when I see that she never replied to anything really nice I sent her overnight. My best friend told me today that she told him she thinks I'm boring and not "impulsive" enough. He said that she said I should have "talked more and been loud in the movie theater" and that "I was being too scared in a haunted house/corn maize or during the movie."
This really hurt to hear because she didn't bother to tell me anything, instead just told my friend, and I thought she really liked me a lot and found me sweet and funny which she said I am. Is this really not as big of a deal as I'm thinking? How can I fix that issue? | girlfriend told my bestfriend she thinks Im boring. I got really upset when I heard that because it brings out insecurities of mine and I thought I was being fun and interesting. |
t3_2ywqqd | relationships | Me [20 M] broke up with my [19 F] 2 months, long distance | My girlfriend and I had been good friends for a few years and we decided to date after a brush of luck after not seeing each other in a while.
It was over Christmas break and we like other couples did everything together. We both mutually loved each other, and we wanted to spend all of our time together.
It was time for her to go back to school which is about four hours away. We both agreed to do long distance and gave each other some of our things. (Blanket, sweatshirt, etc...)
She is coming home for Spring Break next week but recently I noticed her talking to me less and less, and she didn't say I love you back when I'd say it to her.
I asked her one night about it and she didn't have an answer for me. I finally just straight up asked if everything was alright, and she said she didn't feel 100% about love.
I was willing to take it down a notch and wait for her because I really care about her. I then noticed she was being even more avoiding of me when we would talk. I put everything on the table and asked her if there was something she was wanting to tell me.
She said that she was going to wait until break to tell me, but she didn't think we could work out the distance. It was too hard on her. She wanted to come back on break and see how she felt about being together, but I sniffed it out before she had the opportunity to do so.
We ended it, and she's coming back either today or tomorrow and we're going to swap our things back to each other. We're still friends, but obviously breakups are difficult, and I'm already dreading seeing her again because I already know it's going to be extremely sad.
I feel like I jumped the gun by asking her if she still wanted to be together, but at the same time, I feel like I was right to ask because her heart wasn't in it 100% but mine was and it likely would have ended anyways. | Did I jump the gun too early by asking her if she still wants to be together? How can I make seeing her not so difficult? |
t3_3dp8op | relationships | Me [15M] need help on how to become friends with an artist I admire | Alright, so, I'm an aspiring cartoonist and of course I've had a lot of different inspirations. However, to me one stands out the most and is actually probably the first artist/cartoonist I actually admire. Anyway, my dream would be to be able to talk to her and like, have a conversation, or as the title suggests, become friends with her. She's not super big time so it's not like I'm trying to become friends with some impossible super star or anything. I always liked talking and making friends with older people whether it be Seniors at my school or just general adults. It makes me think how much I've grown and matured cause when I was little I was EXTREMELY shy and introverted and like totally afraid of adults. She has a
Tumblr and I'm probably gonna contact her through that but I just don't know HOW to become closer and talk more. Thank you! | I want to know how to become friends with a small time artist I really admire. I know how to contact her but how can I talk to her and become friends. |
t3_36fduf | relationships | I [24 M] briefly dated a friend [22 F] of my housemate [24 M] and his GF [23 F] She ended things with me and now my housemate says I'm making her "uncomfortable" when she visits. | Update:
I'll try and keep this brief. My housemate (John) is one of my best friends and his girlfriend (Mel) is awesome. A few months ago a friend of theres (call her Sarah) who was around the house alot seemed to like me so we went on a few dates. Eventually she just stopped talking to me. That was about 3 weeks ago.
This was all fine. We weren't serious and even though it was a bit rude I didn't really mind that much. She would still call over to the house when we had a group of friends over and while I wasn't especially friendly I would still stay hi and be polite.
Then, last week we had some friends over and we were drinking and Mel kinda mentions how Sarah doesn't have a boyfriend. Sarah says "yeah, all the guys who seem interested in me are weirdos and losers". Everyone in the room knows we were seeing each other and that she ended it, so I found this pretty embarrassing.
The last two times she's called around I've avoided her just because I don't want to pretend to be nice to her. I thought this was the best solution. John told me today that they think I should make more of an effort with Sarah because I'm making her feel awkward being there.
This really surprised me. It just feels like I'm getting the embarrassment of being blown off with the added bonus of being called the asshole in all this. I haven't been rude or aggressive, I just don't want to see her.
What do you guys think? Am I being an asshole? | Got blown off by a girl, am now being asked to not make her feel awkward when she visits my house. Am I in the wrong here? |
t3_juimk | AskReddit | Why do people argue whether an embryo is "alive" or not? | Taken from Wikipedia & a biology textbook (summarized):
Seven things need to be achieved before something can be considered life:
* Reproduction (sexually/asexually)
* Growth
* Adaptation (change according to the environment)
* Metabolism
* Organisation (some sort of form)
* Homeostasis (regulation)
* Response to stimulus
To my knowledge, embryos perform all 7 of those tasks (perhaps not adaptation or rather, doesn't need to since it is in a fairly controlled environment).
Regardless though, if it does not follow the necessities of life, it is not alive, and if it does, it is alive.
The question should be "Is it human?"
Nobody talks about the ethics or morals of an arm after an amputation.
It is essentially thrown away. There isn't a funeral, there isn't a burial service. Nobody refers to an arm as human.
In a better example, nobody refers to the macrophage as human (amoeba like cells that "eat" invaders), yet they have human DNA. | life is determined by scientific criteria. Embryos and fetuses are either alive or not. Why is the real argument not "When is the fetus/embryo a human?" |
t3_32a3zd | relationships | Me [22m] confused about my relationship with [20f] that I know for a year | Me and Emily got to know each other through a girl called Jess that we both knew. Jess for some reason lied about me to Emily later on and me and Emily stopped talking.
Later Jess got between Emily and a guy that Emily liked. Jess lied to him about Emily, him and Jess became a couple. After this I sent Emily a message on Fb because I was feeling sorry for her and after we talked for a while, Emily realized that Jess has played her twice and she apologised to me. We became good friends.
I was helping her with getting over the guy and we both enjoyed sharing an enemy. Later on we forgot about all that. I enjoyed talking with her and always asked how is she and she would tell me about her problems. We would make each other laugh and share inside jokes. Emily can spam me to death with messages but I never mind it. I came to like her more than as a friend.
In one of the conversations she told me that she will never take the first step with a guy after what she's been to previously. So I'm prepared to make the first step. She told me that our friendship is special and that she would never want to lose it. When I try to make our conversations flirty she never joins in. She knows I think she's pretty but I don't think she knows that I have feelings for her.
So I'm a bit lost and don't know how to approach it. I'm not sure if she still has relationship trauma or if she doesn't find me attractive (she never compliments me except a recent "you've lost some weight", I was never fat though! :p) so I have no hint. She's not romantic at all but she has a good heart and finds it hard to get over someone she likes if it fails. maybe she's afraid of another disappointment.
I'm happy that I can be friends with Emily but it kills me a little too and I don't know what to do. I'm also afraid to fuck up and lose her. HALP. | I'm friends with a girl that I have feelings for but it's complicated as she's been through a lot and it's tough to tell where I stand. (please read the whole thing) |
t3_1l7wwa | relationships | I'm [20F] worried about my psycho ex [20M] | He was a psychopath. Not even exaggerating. He's told me if someone where to mess with me, he would kill them and he knows how to hide a body. He's told me how he would in detail. He goes to a military academy.
Anyways, I broke up with him and he said he was going to jump off a building. I haven't had contact with him since.
I facebook creeped on him. He has a pic of him with his arm around another girl (dating, maybe?) She lives in a state next to mine (he lives in on the coast & I'm midwet). A little over an hour from where I go to college. I have no idea how they could have met.. Also, she liked the college I go to class of 2017. i'm worried she is transferring. This is too scary for me.
What the hell do I do? | Pyscho ex might be dating another girl to get closer to me (I think) what the hell do I do |
t3_33okp5 | relationships | Me [39 M] and [32 F]: going for 2nd date. Ladies, if I suggested a time/place on Sat., and you said you might have a plan but will let me know tomorrow (Friday). Cool if I respond with "Or you can tell me when you'll be free and I'll let you know if I can make it?"? | This seems innocuous and common-sensey enough. The reason I'm unsure is that I had never heard anybody suggesting a reply like that, ever.
The reason I'm thinking about letting her pick the day/time is because I have a lot of free time this weekend (meaning I'll do stuff for fun, nothing important), and I know she has a lot of commitments for now. Since we haven't been going out for long, I'm concerned that she might misinterpret this as me being passive or having little going on in my life.
So ladies, what would you make out of it when you either aren't sure if you can make it to a particular time/day or can't make it, and the guy counters with "Ok, pick a time/day then and I'll say yes or no."?
Brief background: before we first went out two weeks ago, we always had a good time chatting, and there seemed to be good vibes. So it wasn't a surprise that we had an awesome time hanging out. I didn't ask her out again until this afternoon because I was busy myself and too tired to plan out a good date. I'm coming from a LTR and am rusty with dating. I guess that's all you need to know.
To all of you who give advice, thank you in advance! | Cool if a guy responds with "Or you can tell me when you'll be free and I'll let you know if I can make it?"? |
t3_3g4l5t | relationships | my 23(m) boyfriend of 3 months finds any excure to not be intimate with me (21)f | So I recently started dating this guy and right from the beginning he told me he wanted to take things slow. but then 3 weeks after meeting we took a vacation together and spend all our time together. He's really great and is one of the most responsible and sweetest person i've met.
im used to dating really terrible guys who really treat me bad and I can honestly say hes the first guy i've dated that's actually awesome and motivating.
the only problem is that he finds any excuse not to have sex or even touch me or kiss. from oh you smoke I cant kiss you (when this didn't bug him in the beginning) to i'm tired and I don't want to touch your boob (sorry for the tmi). whenever I try to initiate anything he'll have some excuse like I have a headache or saying "later ok?" or my family is home (even when they're not).
so now we only do it about once a week and when we do its not like he even cares about how im feeling and its really boring. and we spend a lot of time together so im just very confused because he makes me feel unloved.
I've tried to bring it up to him but he just uses the same excuses. when we first started dating we did it all the time and It was more wild but now its just always missionary and about 10 minutes.
theres been a few instances of E.D. so maybe he is embaressed about that. but I dont understand why that would make him want to stop kissing me too.
also I know he likes spending time with me because he always tells me to come over or takes me out for dinner or on a date but he just doesn't want to go further then that anymore and im really feeling unloved and ugly.
basically I want to know if some guys are just not into sex as much as my ex's probably were and also how I should bring this up to him without making him uncomfortable.
in the past I said "baby is everything ok? I feel like you don't like me anymore" and would respond I love you and get annoyed with me and say that hes just not a very cuddly person... | in a new relationship and boyfriend doesn't want to be intimate as much anymore and wont answer my questions about whats up? what could be the reason and whow should I bring it up again? |
t3_2a5okf | relationships | Me [22 F] with my friend [20 F] of 3 years is a terrible driver, what's the best way to ask her to be more careful? | This may be a little silly, and perhaps not the right place to ask, but I am about to go on a somewhat long drive with my good friend. Her driving genuinely frightens me as she speeds, swerves and tailgates people. We have carpooled to the mountain to ski together and I have been afraid for my safety.
This time around she is doing me a huge favor, driving me beyond where she needs to go, but I also want to make sure I actually arrive at my destination. I worry that there is a high risk for us getting into an accident with the way she drives. I want to find a polite way to ask her to drive more carefully; I don't want to offend her or hurt her feelings since she's helping me out so much. | My friend drives dangerously, I want to find a polite way to ask her to be more careful with me in the car. |
t3_10nm1f | relationships | 21 year old male with a 19 year old female. Why does she have freak outs every month on our anniversary? | So my girlfriend of a year(today is our 1 year anniversary) has these freak outs, where she will freak out at me and others every month on our anniversary. Tonight we were watching TV and cuddling after a gift exchange, and she just freaked out and left.
I don't know why she does this, and I in turn freak out because it feels like she just sees it as another month wasted with me. And I've talked to her about it, and she assures me this isn't the case but that she doesn't know why it happens.
Has anyone else had this problem? | My girlfriend of a year freaks out every month on our anniversary and I want advice and/or an idea to why she does this. |
t3_4aojy1 | relationships | Can a real relationship form from what started as a random hookup, in regards to my FWB[23/F] and I[23/M] | I met Ally at a department mixer hosted by our grad program back in October, and we ended up sleeping together that night. Since then we have been regularly having sex. Back in January, we started to do things as friends outside of sex, and I started to just enjoy being with her. A week ago she came to me and said that she wants to end our relationship as is. She said that she wants to try to be in something more with me, but just being FWBs is not fun for her anymore. I could actually see myself being in a real relationship with her, we already enjoy most of the aspects, I guess I am just hung up on how it started.
Previous relationships started with dating and the intent to be in a relationship, and I am just in my head on if this can be one. Is it doomed to fail, or can it work? | FWB wants to start a real relationship with me, I do too, but I am worried over if something can be real from it. |
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