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t3_3d97gn | relationships | My father (63M) absolutely abhors apples since they remind him of his shitty childhood. I (25M) just found out his favorite food (Quince cheese) is manufactured with apple pulp. Should I tell him? | My father hates apples. At the point that if he smells them (eg. if someone is eating them close or has an apple perfume) he stands and leave the room. He has told me this come from when he was a child and his nannies would tie him and force him to eat his meals, where applesauce was often the dessert. He also hates a variety of fruits (oranges, watermelons, pears, etc...), but nothing as much as apples.
(By the way, he doesn't force his tastes on the rest of the family and we eat pretty much all foods, including apples, just not in front of him.)
On the other hand, there are certain foods he just love like Ice Cream and... Quince Cheese (a pretty common food in my country). Forever since I remember, there has been quince cheese in the fridge. He loves to add it to pretty much all his desserts, to eat it alone with cream, to it it in his bread... You know: he loves it.
The thing is, as for my my job I recently had to do some stuff in one of the factories that, along other stuff, produce quince cheese. When I asked to have a tour to the factory, the people I went with happilyallowed me and showed most of the manufacturing process. There I saw tons of barrels of Apple Pulp. The people at the factory promptly told me that qince was too dense and clogged the pipes, so they mixed it with apple pulp to give it the right consistency. When I came home I picked the pack that was on the refrigerator (other brand) and there it was, right in the ingredients: apple pulp.
So here I am now. Should I tell him and take away one of his favorites food or should I keep quiet and let him enjoy it? | Found out my dad's favorite food is made with apples, which he absolutely hates. Not sure if I should tell him. |
t3_2whtfo | dating_advice | Blerg! I asked him out and got no response, but I have reason to believe he actually didn't see the message. | I'm 39/F, newly divorced, and starting to date. Haven't dated since high school in the mid-90's, so I'm finding there's a steep learning curve. Anyway, there's this guy, I see him around a lot, we've talked in person a number of times. We're Facebook friends, we seem to have a lot in common. I'm crushing on him like a school girl.
Anyway, I've been wanting to ask him out but couldn't find the right opportunity in person so a couple days ago I decided to just ask him out over Facebook messenger.
I wanted to either explore something with him or get on with my life. Instead, I am now in this limbo state. He hasn't responded. The messenger app tells me the message was received but not read. I don't know what to do with that information! Maybe, somehow, he actually hasn't seen the message and he's not just blowing me off. It seems completely inconsistent with his personality to just blow me off, especially since he knows he will see me regularly (we both attend a weekly event, and it's a small town). But I can't imagine a way to re-ask without running the risk of being the desperate, psycho obsessive girl who can't take a hint.
I'm entertaining the idea of just confronting him in person to say that it's so disappointing that he didn't give me the courtesy of a reply and see how he reacts, but that might take more balls than I have. | I facebook messaged a guy i want to go out with, Messenger tells me he didn't see it, but it's possible he has and is blowing me off. Do I bring it up in person? |
t3_mubzg | AskReddit | Got a phone call saying that I won a cruise, they asked for my name and hung up... did I just get scammed? | Hey Reddit!
Basically what I just asked. I like to fill out those forms at the mall sometimes for fun but never expect anything out of it. I was having a terrible day and got very excited when I got the phone call. They transferred me to the claims department and they asked me my name and then immediately hung up.
I did a quick google search and nothing seemed to come up, but from what I understand, with scams like this they usually ask for credit card information. They didn't ask me for any information other than my name, so I was wondering if you guys could give some insight as to what just happened? Best case scenario is that someone just put a random number down, which happened to be mine, but when the name didn't match they hung up. Worst case, and this is where I'm confused, is that it was a scam and they have information on me? I'm not sure how since all that was given was my name. And if I have been scammed, how can I protect myself? | I think I got scammed, but they only asked for my name and hung up. How should I handle this? |
t3_4qcdko | relationships | Me [BF] worried and somewhat annoyed at GF for drinking problem | Throwaway account for obvious reasons, although she'll probably know its me writing it as she uses reddit too.
To put into context, we're both around 18 years old.
Okay so recently we've been having problems but we've managed to sort them out... until now with a drinking "problem" she has. I'm extremely worried about her drinking habits... I'd say she goes out drinking around 3-4 times a week though it can vary. This has been happening every week for the past ~month and a half maybe 2 months. Now, I'd be fine with this if it wasnt for the fact that every time she goes and drinks she gets very drunk, often drinking a bottle a wine or more a night.
I'm worried sick. I dont know what to do... I feel like a massive dick and an extrmemely shitty boyfriend when I ask her to slow down on the drinking or have a small break. I feel like I'm losing her. She often doesnt speak to me very much or ignores my messages when she drinks (drunk) and I understand this as shes out having fun but when thats multiple times a week being ignored its kinda annoying.
She says she doesnt drink too much and she loves it because its fun. I dont know if i'm being a twat and a shitty boyfriend or if she really has a problem...either way I'm worried sick.
I want her to have fun and enjoy herself and be with her friends but I really dont think its good to be drinking so much. I dont know if I can go on worrying so much, I feel like it would be better if I left her because then she wouldnt have me on her back about drinking. She understands why I worry and she really is an awesome girlfriend and I love her to bits but if she doesnt tone it down I dont know what I'm gonna do. As an added note, she suffers from depression sometimes...which could be the cause but she doesnt really like talking about her depression.
Thanks...looking forward to your replies... | Girlfriend drinks a lot... I worry a lot... feel like I' losing her and feel like an awful boyfriend...what do I do? |
t3_2lxy3z | relationships | [25 M] After the breakup, what to do? | I recently broke up with my girlfriend after about 4 years together and living together one of those years.
It was not that tough of a breakup but still traumatic. But now after a couple weeks i am starting to feel quite good about my life and my opportunities that i have. But whats next? I have worked out, eaten pizza, drunk some beer and bought the more expensive sports tv-channels.
This is the moment in my life when i the most free i will ever be and probably have the most money i will ever have. Do you guys and girls have any tips what i could do? Travel is one of the things i´d like to do more of but i do have a job (which i quite like) It does not have to be grand (Like travel around the world) or expensive. I would just like to really get everything out of life before i get old and grey :) I do realize that no one of you know me but i think a lot of you have been in my situation and have done something fun! | I recently broke up with my girlfriend after about 4 years together, Now i want to have some fun. what should i do? |
t3_3ccwjb | tifu | TIFU by being depressed and having no proof of masculinity for my mother | I've been depressed on-and-off for a few years now and my mother has grown more and more worried about me. I'm in my 20's and I'm a scrawny looking guy without a girlfriend. On top of that, I'm really into theater and I love to swim and sing. Basically, I'm what people in my culture call "effeminate" since I don't work in a coal mine and drink booze till I'm blacked out.
This lead my mom to come to my room about twenty minutes ago to have a "talk." After a few minutes of chit-chat she said: "Pastagate, you've been acting very strange. I have a personal question to ask you." Now this was the *very first* time she ever said something like this, so I knew it was serious. She followed by saying: "Are you confused about your sexuality?... Are you gay?"
I knew it. I knew some day she would ask me this. Being the awkward person I am, I had no defense mechanism other than laughing straight in her face for a few seconds longer than necessary to convince her I'm not. | my mom thinks I get kinky with guys when they're not there, when I really just want to sing my heart out. |
t3_22l4y8 | Advice | 22 year old guy with some controlling Asian parents in need of advice. | Hello I am a 22 year old (turning 23 in a couple of weeks) Asian guy living under his parents roof. I am currently a part time student taking online classes majoring in IT at the same time I have a part time job working as a field specialist for an IT company. On my daily routine I wake up between the hours of 8-12 am and I get myself ready for a day of work. Usually I leave around 12 because the customers I schedule with are available at those times. After a day of work (usually ends at 6pm) I would get home relax and play games and do whatever homework I need to do.
My parents owns a cell phone store and runs it from the hours of 10am-6pm and occasionally they would see me leaving the house around 11am-12pm and this does not make them happy because they see me as lazy and that I don't work. And when they close the store and come home I am usually home and relaxing and playing games. They have called me lazy to a failure to a waste of a life you name it and they have even told me to kill myself a couple of times. They also don't like it when I go out at night which I rarely do but when I stay home and play games they would yell at me also. Now I feel like they are treating me like a baby and not letting me do what I feel like I want to being a 22 year old guy. And I'm not saying I can be out and on my own and not need them but they are treating me like a baby (I am also the youngest child of 4 and none of my siblings have finished college). I really wish they would get off my case about what I a doing in life.
I am still currently seeking a full time job in the IT industry that would help me be on my own 2 feet without any help.
I also have the option to move in with my cousins and stay with them since they have an extra room but this may cause a problem with my uncle and aunt with my parents. | I have some very controlling parents that yell at me for staying home and playing games. Also they think I'm lazy and don't care about my life. |
t3_adegd | AskReddit | I was hoping Reddit could help me find something... | I am searching for a documentary, probably by the BBC but maybe Discovery Channel. It was using mitochondrial DNA to find the earliest branch of the human family tree. The male host may have had red or blond hair and was a scientist who was taking swabs from people the world over while tracing the steps of early man along the shores and out of Africa. He described the changes in skin color and height, diets and farming practices, and many other changes that led people to branch out. He also found one of the oldest family lines alive. Any help finding this documentary would be greatly appreciated. | Some guy travels the world swabbing people for DNA. The whole time he talks about the journey of man. Any ideas where I can find it? |
t3_2kn24v | relationships | I [20 F] have a bruise/mark on my neck that looks vaguely like a hickey. my boyfriend [25 M] doesn't believe me. what should I do? | We've been together 2 years. I've never cheated on him. I've always been honest. I tell him whenever I go anywhere and who I'm gonna be with and sometimes he even has the phone numbers of the people I'll be with just in case. (He's never specifically asked for the numbers, I've give.n them to him in case my phone died).
Tonight at the store he noticed a mark on my neck and said it looked like a hickey. I have no idea what it could be. One of the main reasons he's convinced I'm cheating is because I go hang out with some male friends and my sex drive has noticeably declined. I want to prove to him I'm not cheating but I don't know how. | boyfriend of 2 years thinks I'm cheating because of unknown bruise on my neck and lowered sex drive. how do I convince him I'm not cheating |
t3_4hv0g1 | relationships | Me [33 F] with my mother [60 F] and brother [30 M] 2 years, fight over inherited money and expectations | A few years ago, my uncle died and left me a huge portion of his estate, an amount valued in the upper six-figures. My brother was not included in this, and I felt this was unfair and immediately offered to split the money with him. At that point, I was unaware that the money was in an inherited IRA and as such is subject to taxation (I have to pay taxes), there was no way to split the account without me giving him money as a gift, and a woman who had married my uncle less than one month prior had obtained legal counsel and was contesting the entire estate.
The entire situation was extremely stressful to me, and I ended up hiring my own lawyer and had to pay around $10,000 to defend against this woman. I asked my brother to help with legal costs, as we were going to split the money and he said that he just couldn't afford it. This is despite the fact that he makes much more than me and took a tropical vacation and a golf vacation during this time.
During this ordeal, my brother was constantly calling me to tell me how I could gift him money, but was completely uninterested in the stress I was going through moving the account and dealing with my uncle's account managers who tried to block me from moving the account and were swindling my uncle.
Once the account was in my name, my brother began demanding money and I told him that I wasn't comfortable giving him a large amount as a gift. He became irate and hung up on me. We didn't talk for over a year, and the only contact I've had is emails from him telling me what a rotten sister I am.
My mother has sided with him, telling me things like "I'm just going to put this out there, you said you'd share". When I try to explain how uncomfortable I am giving him money, she refuses to understand the tax situation, my brother's lack of help and lack of loyalty.
Despite the fact that I think what I did was right, I still feel guilty. Should I? Reddit, what would you have done? | Was going to share inherited money with brother, he acted like an entitled asshole. Mother is siding with him. I feel bad still. Should I? |
t3_po4de | AskReddit | Reddit, my best friend was just accused of molesting his 6 year old cousin. | ok, a little info:
My friend (we'll call him Jim) is 16 and in high school. I have the same lunch as him and at the lunch table he pulled a card out that had the sheriff's department logo on it so I asked him what it was. He told me that he had been called up to the on campus cop's office and he was asked to answer some questions. Like an idiot, he didn't use his 5th amendment rights and answered away. He told me that he was being accused of "innapropriately touching" his 6 year old cousin. Apparently his aunt and uncle (who has had no issues with in the past; they were actually pretty close) called the cops out of the blue to report that my friend Jim had touched their daughter. He told me that the last time he had seen her was at a birthday party a week ago and he swears up and down that he didn't molest her, and I believe it because he probably wouldn't have told me and our friends if it was true and he tells us that his relationship with his cousin is not like that. He tells me that his aunt and uncle were told by the 6 year old (who doesn't seem like a reliable source at all) that he had touched her but they weren't specific, and she could have said anything that might have suggested it. Whether you believe he did it or not, I need to know what the best course of action for him is. His parents may not support him in this and he may be thrown under the bus to have his whole life ruined. He is a great person who gets straight A's, is very intelligent, and deserves a future. What should he do? | My friend was accused of molesting his 6 year old cousin at a party and he says he didn't do it. |
t3_b2emg | AskReddit | Men of Reddit (and women I suppose), how would you handle a woman who doesn't reach when the check comes? | Yeah yeah, I know, take it to relationship advice, but I think it's an interesting question.
I went on a first date on Saturday night and when the check came, I paid. I mean I asked her out, it was the first date, I have no problem with paying for things (I also bought drinks later). But what's been gnawing at me is that she didn't even give me the reach. The "oh let's split it" so I could gallantly insist on paying. Now I know it's a little premature, but I can't help but wonder, what if it's 2nd or 3rd date and she's not even reaching? She seems cool, and aside from that little quibble it was a great date, but I could never go out with someone who thinks the man should pay for everything (not like I could afford to even if I did).
So if it were the 2nd or 3rd date, and she's still shown no sign of even trying to pay for anything, how would you handle it? Like I said, I couldn't date someone who expects me to pay (NYC is an expensive city), but I don't even know how I'd go about cutting it off over that.
___ | If you'd gone out with a woman two or three times, and she hasn't even offered to pay for anything, what would you do? |
t3_53f9c9 | loseit | Weight loss strategy that worked really well a few years back isn't working for me anymore. Could my intestinal surgery have caused that? | I've (5'7" 19M) been stuck at 166.5 for nearly 10 weeks now. When I first noticed the weight, I decided to use the same process I did 2 years ago that helped me lose 27 lbs (174 --> 147), (calorie cutting + daily cardio). I was a bit concerned when my weight was deadlocked a month, but carried on. From July 1 to September 15, 2014, I went from 167 to 156. From July 1 to September 15, 2016, I haven't lost an ounce.
The biggest thing that happened to me was that I had bowel surgery in March for Crohn's disease, where they removed the last 12 inches of my small intestine and my sigmoid colon. I've tried Googling but can't find too many people with this problem. I'll definitely bring it up with my GI doc when I see him in a few months, but I'd like to do something between now and then. Any ideas? | Lost 27 lbs with CICO and some cardio 2 years ago. Had some small bowel removed, gained 20 back, not losing weight with the same method that worked back then. |
t3_do2xh | AskReddit | Registering to become foster parents: a Children's Aid Society worker will be viewing our home. What is the best way to prepare for their visit? | My wife and I are registering to become foster parents. We have a well-behaved son under 10 years old. A case worker from the Children's Aid Society will be visiting us to "see the house" and help us fill out our paperwork.
Obviously, having a tidy home and being as pleasant as possible will be important for us. However, we have a couple of things we aren't sure about:
1. We have an upstairs office in a spare bedroom. It's full of technology junk, but is basically organized. Would going all-out to make it look impeccable be a wise more, or just a waste of effort?
2. We have a spare bedroom that will be used for the foster children. It's empty except for our old (but clean) queen mattress that we couldn't bring ourselves to throw away or recycle when we got our new mattress a couple of months ago. Should we:
a) ditch the mattress and leave this room totally empty.
b) ditch the mattress and furnish the room so it's suitable for a child
c) put sheets and blankets on the the mattress and explain that it's used by us when in-laws visit because we give them our master bedroom to use?
3. We have a big empty family room on the ground floor (it's a big house, and just never furnished this room). It's the first room that you see when you enter the house. It can be a bit jarring to enter a house and find yourself in a big empty room. We use the space as a kind of play-room/sports-room when the weather is bad. Should we furnish this room and make it a real family room, or leave it empty and explain how we use it?
Any other advice on what we can do to make our home and family as attractive as possible to this case worker? | How can we make the Children's Aid Society case worker love us and our home so we'll be approved as foster parents? |
t3_srgq8 | AskReddit | What is the strangest nap-dream you can recall? | I read this comment, [here] and the thread following, and it got me wondering what weird stories some redditors might have on this subject.
I'll start.
For me it went like this:
I was browsing the internet, when I started feeling tired. I set my computer on the ground next to my bed, shut my eyes, and fell asleep. I obviously don't remember falling to sleep, and I certainly don't remember the beginning of my dream.
Anyway, the earliest bit of the dream that I can remember was a very intricate sequence of me browsing reddit (I know... I fucking know.). I was startled by a very loud rumbling. The walls in my room began to shake, and the light that shone bright blue in from outside my windows, had become dark orange. I looked out my window, and off in the distance I could see the earth's crust begin to rupture. It was an extreme earth quake. There was fire and lava and all that stuff shooting out of this massive crack. So, after I saw this, I knew that I was about to die.
Now, since this dream started out with me browsing reddit, it felt all too real. There was no snapping myself out of it. I thought, "I am going to die right now." I had this very brief moment struggling with my inevitable death, and the slight possibility of an afterlife, and how fucked I'd be if it happened. All of it was going through my head as my entire room full of furniture and I were falling out of a massive hole in my now-broken wall.
I woke with a start, wondering why I wasn't falling anymore. Then I cried. It was the most terrifying moment of my entire life, and it happened during a short nap. | Got tired, had a nap, spent a lot of time hanging out with cool famous women who were all sex crazed and naked. |
t3_447we0 | relationship_advice | [19/m] I'm struggling to make an impression on a girl (19/f) I like. Can anyone help? | A girl who was in the same senior school class as me has recently caught my eye and I'm all twitterpated. We never really spoke at all during school and bumped into one another on a night out, I was leaving at the time so on a whim asked for her number, she gave it to me, but I mistakenly put down 14 digits. 3-4 months later and its pretty hit and miss whether or not we have conversations, she very rarely responds to any message I send her way, but will message me out of the blue when she's baby sitting and we'll talk for hours into the early hours of the morning. I'm super confused as to the types of signals I'm getting, and am just looking for a way to set up a consistent dialogue between us. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. | I like a girl I went to school with and we have an erratic conversation pattern, need to try to make it more regular. |
t3_27fnxc | relationships | I [16 M] with my gf [17 F] of 17 months and now I need advice on how to handle the whole situation | This was my first time breaking up with someone.
The breakup was rough, but friendly. I explained to her that I have the feeling that I don't love her anymore and that I just think that our relationship isn't working anymore. We sat together for about 3 hours and talked, cried and hugged but in the end I think it was ok.
Now I just want to know, what I should do now. She is still very much in love with me and said things like that I was the best thing that ever happened to her or that I was/am the perfect boyfriend and noone will ever come close to me.
I try to make this all as painless as possible for her but I don't know how. I want her to get over me and let go, while holding my promise and maintaining a friendship with her.
Also one of the biggest breakup points for me was that I have a crush on a girl from my school. But I just finished school so my crush and I will see each other again only a few times now so I have to make a move now. I didn't say anything about her to my gf while breaking up bc it would have just hurt her more and I thats what I want to avoid.
So now I need advice on:
- What to do with my ex gf how is the best way to handle a friendly break up (I suggested about a month of practically no contact and then we meet again to talk about how it's going and how we handle our friendship)
- How to handle the thing with my crush, if hypothetically I come together with her next week I think that would hurt my ex gf enormously and I don't want that. | Broke up with my gf, need advice on how to evolve this into a friendship and how to help her get over me, and need advice on if it is ok to pursue someone else. |
t3_2ot390 | relationship_advice | (21, M)How to get over someone you've never met? | Hello Reddit,
From the title, I'm sure most of you are reading this thinking "what the fuck is this guy talking about". Well, I met this amazing girl that an old high school friend reminded me about. I've seen her a couple times in the past year or two, and she's absolutely beautiful. I started talking to her over Facebook for the past several weeks, and we exchanged numbers and eventually started talking on the phone, some of them for hours at a time. I've learned she has some of the same exact likes I do, when it comes to food, music, traveling, everything. Her personality is addicting and that's why it's been so easy to talk to her for so long every other day or two for the past two weeks. I know this seems like infatuation, and it probably is. But a day or two ago, she just stopped talking to me suddenly. We had gone from constant interaction and planning on an upcoming date, even her calling me just to let me know how her day was to just that - nothing. I asked her what was wrong or if I did something, and she told me she just wanted to be alone. I asked her if she wanted me to stop talking to her for good and she said she didn't know. What bothers me is that this girl that I've been falling for hard went from someone bubbly and excited to talk to me, to someone that seems like we haven't talked a single time before.
What I'm asking is...what to do here. Obviously I need to refrain from talking to her unless she messages me, but all I do is think about her and why/how it became like this. From what I know she hasn't dated someone in almost a year so it's not a previous ex she's trying to get over. It's just so weird and crushing. Someone that talked to me like a best friend and even called me some pet names, to zero communication.
Reddit, what would you say I do? She's an amazing girl, in every aspect. But I don't want to feel like this anymore. | Talked to a girl I've been starting to fall hard for for 2 weeks, and then she randomly stops talking to me out of the blue. What should I do? |
t3_4w4sok | legaladvice | Autobody/mechanic that towed and "repaired" my vehicle didn't do most of what they billed for. | (Yonkers/New York)
Got into an accident 2 months ago. Caused front bumper, right front fender, headlight, radiator damage to my vehicle. They initially had the car a full month. Got it back and noticed vibration in the steering. They said the axle needed to be replaced on the right side too. Why they didn't do that initially is beyond me, they clearly didn't test drive the car. They ordered the part, I brought my car back. Another 2 weeks pass. I get my car back and absolutely nothing is different. I bring it back and they tell me, the axle needs to be replaced on the other side too. At this point I realize how full of shit this guy is. I take my car and bring it to a personal mechanic. He then shows me that they didn't replace the axle at all, just the bearing, and nothing is even wrong with the axle. In addition, they didn't even complete the body work, leaving new pieces unbolted or secured properly, or replace other parts. I have video and photo evidence of this as well. They billed my insurance company for around $10K of work. I just bought this car in January, it's a 2012 Inifiniti G37X, and I'm in a 6 year loan. I'm scared to death I'm going to get screwed. I worked hard and saved up a long time to be able to drive a car like this, and I'm getting screwed right now. Any advice? | Auto body shop billed for services and parts they did not provide. Car still fucked up. Personal, trustworthy mechanic provided evidence of this upon inspection. |
t3_4qlav6 | relationships | (31f) looking for advice: How did you take focus off of dating, and indulge in a new hobby instead? | For some reason, as I get older, I seem to want to go back to my past relationships, more and more. I don't like getting sucked back into the past though, because obviously those relationships didn't work out for a reason. I long for a partner, but I'm kind of burned out at the moment, and want to back away from dating.
now I'm kind of at a point, where I think that maybe I should just start focusing on a new hobby to keep me occupied. I won't lie, it's not easy to be alone all the time. I mean, even if i see friends and family 2-3 times a week, I'm still alone for 4 days a week. BUT, maybe if I really indulged myself into something, I could take the focus off of being alone, and kind of get myself used to being alone, and not feel like I really WANT someone to fill my time. (And instead fill it with a hobby, even though I'll actually be alone.)
Anyways, any words of advice to get started? | Looking for a hobby to indulge in so I take my focus off of being alone. It's just hard to start, because I feel sad and unmotivated at the present moment. |
t3_1dgbsu | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, I would appreciate some honest to God(FSM, Allah, Carl Sagan, Selkat, Isis, Zeus, etc..) tips on life. | My parents have done next to nothing in preparing me for the real world, (never pushed me to get a job, wont let me worry about money, are plain horrid with money(rented a house we cant afford, bought a car we cant afford, smoke and dip, buy things they don't need, refuse to invest or even save anything because it's too complicated to do so..) I am really freaking out, I am actively searching for a job so I can work until the end of July when I leave for college. I can balance a budget, I can save money very well, and I can cook and clean for myself. | I need help, and I need it fast. I do not know where to start looking. Not asking for a book, just a few short tips. (TWSS) |
t3_29wg2h | relationships | Me [25 F] with my [37 M] have been in a relationship for 1.5 years & now I found out he's cheating. Tell the other girl or not? | So here's a guy at work who I hooked up with about 2 weeks after joining. We fell in love (atleast I thought so). We've been through a lot together in the past 1.5 years but we had MORE than our share of problems.
I always felt he was lying to me & didn't feel important enough. But we still stuck together & tried to make it work. Our relationship was very on-off because of his troubles at work. Now I found out that he's been seeing this other girl from work for the past 6 months. And that they want to get married.
When the other girl asked me if 'there was any story' - she'd been led to believe there wasn't - in a impulse I lied and said it was all me. Because I knew it would break him to find out I told her the truth. And no matter what, I will always care.
Now it's eating away at me. Going to work is next to impossible having to see her & to see him each day. Should I tell her the truth? I've always been the girl who told on her cheating friends, I've just never condoned cheating. So get it off my back & live with the guilt? Or not interfere & know I'm deceiving someone? I still love him & wish everyday that he chose to fight for me instead. What to do?? | Been cheated on. Lied to the other girl & said it was one-sided. Tell her & have him hate me? Or stay quiet & have to watch them everyday? |
t3_4f9g60 | relationships | I[20M]went on a date with a girl[19F], I couldn't make a move.. Need advice.. | Hello Redditors! I am a bit confused about my situation and I thought the community could give me a hand..
So, I started talking to this girl via-internet for a few months. I knew her from school although didn't have contact. Years passed, she moved to another city, which is close to mine, and I decided to chat with her since I realized she had many things in common with me like(music, movies, series...).
I started to feel a connection with her, she started to ask me to play songs for her on the guitar, started calling me baby, my dear etc... Then, I decided to ask her out and she accepted.
We spend a long time talking, I paid dinner for us we went to the cinema and chatted for hours in the park.
BUT, I was to afraid to ask for a kiss... We shared smiles and touched hands a few times, I gave her some kisses on the cheek but I was always afraid that she would say something... She is very shy too so it's difficult to know if she's really into me.. When I took her home, I gave a big hug and kiss on the cheek and I think she liked, since she responded well giving me a big hug and smiling.
Anyway here is my question: Did I make a HUGE mistake by not trying to kiss, or say that I was interested on her?
What can I say to her now?
Please help! | Guy is very shy and she too. Spent a good time together but he was to afraid to make a move on her.. Was it a big mistake? What can he say now? |
t3_2a0wfv | relationships | He [24M] wants to become friends with me [19F] after dating for 4 months. No contact, good idea? | So we have been dating for about 4 months. He seemed genuinely interested in a serious relationship while I wasn't. He did everything to change my mind and be attached to him. It got to a point where I wouldn't go to sleep before calling him or wouldn't go anywhere without letting him know where I was. Even I felt needy and clingy. He claimed that is how a relationship should be all the while he blew hot and cold, got moody and unstable. I was too much infatuated with him to even care. And to be honest he is overall a really understanding and kind person.
And for the last month or so he has been withdrawing rapidly. At first he asked for some time alone I went along but he kept calling to see where and with him I was, what I was doing etc. And he even claimed I was being aloof not calling him or checking in on him. But he was distant. Then when I confronted him, he said he doesn't feel like he wants to be in a relationship right now and asked if I would become his friend if we were to break up. I objected and told him I had enough friends and I wouldn't put myself in that awkward situation. He said he didn't want to break up because he loves me and has fun with me and that I am attractive, yet he still kept saying he would be happier if he was alone.
He is abroad on a business affair for the last 2 weeks and won't be back for at least a month or so. He is under some stress from work, education, family and I do know he is not really successful when it comes to dealing with uneasy situations he shuts off completely under pressure.
I have sent him a text after our last conversation saying I want to back out and leave him alone to clear his head while being busy with my life for a while. Now I am not entirely sure if it was the right call. He never answered. He always answers to texts and calls. And to be honest I somewhat feel like I am checking out when he might need some support and it makes me feel guilty to a point. What do you guys think? | We have been dating, moved too fast, I became somewhat needy. He wants to become friends but not so sure, I want to try NC for a while. |
t3_2eeilh | relationships | Please help me [20F] stay away from him [30M] and true to myself | Update from
He's Jewish and intends to marry a Jew. After reading your answers, I could muster the courage to tell him that it would be our last night together. He told me that he wasn't completely indifferent to me, that he would miss me if I stopped seeing him because he cared for me.
I don't want someone to care for me, I want to love and be loved. He is also trying to stay true to his values and I respect that immensely. He cannot give me what I need. He could not understand why I would leave him - he told me he did not ask for much time, that he understood my needs but that I could keep seeing him while I find my significant other. So I told him I met somebody (I did kinda). I kissed him on the forehead and said farewell (who doesn't love a bit of drama).
It has been a month exactly and I did not reach out, no contact whatsoever, which I'm very proud of. But I keep thinking about him everyday, stalking him on Facebook at least twice a day. It's not going away. Everyday I wake up telling myself that it will be the day I'll send him a text. To see him just one last time.
I don't want to hurt or play with anybody. I said farewell, I meant it.
Help me stay on the right path. | broke up a month ago with a man who could never allow himself to love me ; afraid I will go back to him. |
t3_13hcxx | relationships | (F20) It bothers me when my best female friend (F21) does this...and it happens often; what do I do? | We have been friends since we were kids, we grew up together. I can't even remember a time in my life when she wasn't there.
Not to sound conceited, but I'd say we are both fairly attractive young women. Apparently, we even look alike. A lot of people even ask if we are related. As far as I know, neither of us have been jealous of each other about anything.
HOWEVER, lately she texts me, at least once a week, something along the lines of "Oh, I was at work this evening and this really cute guy who I was serving at the restaurant was hitting on me...and asked if I wanted to grab a coffee sometime, should I say no?"
Well, yes, you should say no, because you've been in a serious relationship for almost 2 years!
I don't understand why she feels the need to tell me EVERY SINGLE TIME a guy is hitting on her. Literally, sometimes the texts are like "Some guy was just hitting on me, lol"
There is no other point to her texts aside from letting me know that some random dude just called her pretty, or asked her out.
I don't understand. She has a boyfriend who she apparently loves so much and is very content in the relationship. I, on the other hand, have been single for almost 8 months now. I'm not a flirty girl, so generally random guys in a restaurant or in the library at school don't come up and start hitting on me unless we've actually struck up a conversation. She is a very flirty, even with her body language, so guys hit on her all the time.
I don't know why, but I feel like she is just doing this to make me jealous of all these "cute guys" who are hitting on her, while poor, pathetic me is sitting at home watching The Walking Dead.
Has anyone experienced something similar with a good friend? I don't even know what to say to those texts anymore. I feel like she is for some reason trying to make me jealous, when there's absolutely no reason to. | Best friend (in a serious relationship) tells me (single) whenever "cute guys" hit on her, literally, every time a guy flirts with her she will text me about it. |
t3_1htrtg | relationship_advice | My (15/f) boyfriend (15/m) was made to break up with me because of his mom. We still have feelings for each other, though. | We had been dating for 7 months and his mom was okay with it. But then she decided that we were too young/he needs to focus on his school work. So now we have to just be friends. This includes 'rules' such as: No messaging on Facebook or anywhere else, no 'excessive' talking at school, and basically pretending like we're nothing more than acquaintances. This was especially painful seeing as he was also my best friend. But we both feel the same, and want to continue our relationship as soon as he's allowed to. We are at least allowed to go to dances together. Reddit, how can I continue to show him that that I still have feelings for him without breaking the 'friend/acquaintance' barrier? ( I don't see, after a light search, too many very young people such as myself posting on this subreddit, please don't be harsh with me) | Boyfriend's mom made him break up with me, have to act like friends, how can I show I still care? |
t3_1wvbrm | relationship_advice | I [17M] just got dumped by my [16F] girlfriend and i need advice | After 8 months my girlfriend decided to break up with me. Shes a very nice girl so it wasnt very dramatic but it still tore me apart and ive just been a shell of myself lately and lost all motivation.
A little more info:
My now ex girlfriend has been really supportive (Ive also suffered from severe anxiety and frequent depression since a very young age) , we were best friends before dating and she really wants to be that way again (i'd rather have this than nothing as i do appreciate her company and love talking to her; our conversations last hours); the reason she decided to break up is because we had been arguing a lot in the last month in a half but she also admitted to still having feelings for me and feeling nothing for other guys | Should I move on or is there any hope of us getting back together? If I should move on, how do i go about this seeing as every aspect (almost) of my life still involves her? |
t3_2m2oce | relationships | I (17m) am afraid for my life after my ex (18m) got in a fight with me | So last night my ex (18m) got in a fight with me (17m) that ended with him bawling his eyes out after I showed him the truth about his life. I am genuinely afraid that he's going to get his friend (26m), whom I've given the nickname Brokeback, to assault me. I think he will because my ex has had him do worse for less. Since I'm still in high school and they are in college my counselor said that they can't do anything about it except for keeping me safe in school. Should I go to the police or anything like that? I know for a fact that I can't take Brokeback and I'd much rather put this behind me.
What a shitty first relationship -. | I'm 99% sure my ex will get his friend to assault me or worse and I don't know what to do |
t3_2rcz60 | relationship_advice | I'm [24/m] falling for a girl (31/f), but shes says shes in the a relationship that I thought she was over. | Until now I've never felt the need or the attraction of a relationship, other than really good friends, but this girl has for some reason knocked me over. Been working with this woman for around 3yrs and have felt something more towards her since we met. Well for the first 1 1/2 years she was with a guy (5 year relationship) but then they broke up. Well she tried to fill that whole with someone else and never could find the right guy I guess. She openly talks about this with me and another guy at work (they've been friends for ever, but he's only 19 and isn't interested that way). So I figure maybe I'll take a shot. Long story short I waited to long and she hooks up kinda with our old parts manager. From the outside it just looks like a friends with benefits type thing. So I keep my hopes up, trying to figure out where there at together.
Then one day shes talking to us about somethings and the subject turns to this guy. Well she starts saying, hes not gonna last once he leaves for Texas in Feb or march their over and all this. So i get my balls back so to speak and talk myself into asking her out about 2 weeks later. She tells me that she staring to get serious with him and they've been together for about a year, so for now, its a no. I'm not really devastated, but this girl has me killing myself over her. I honestly never felt this way about a woman. Never saw them as anymore than friends, and I've told her that. Any advice? He's kinda of a douche towards her sometimes and shes shared some unfavorable things hes done towards her in the past. I know i'm just probly trying to make him look bad in my eyes to justify myself as a better person. But i've never pointed these things out to her shes always brought them up in conversation. Hes a friend (known him through work for about 4 years) and a past coworker and can be immature at times and non-gentleman like. | A girl I work with and am stupidly in love with has told me shes in a relationship with a different guy, who from outside didnt look like it. |
t3_3tyz66 | relationships | My [26/F] boyfriend [26/M] of 8 years wants a break from our relationship to improve himself. Can breaks really be about just improving oneself, or is he looking to date other girls? | I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past 8 years. Over the years we both suffered some mild depression and fell into an unhealthy habit of isolating ourselves from other people. Just recently he has been making a turn for the better and reconnecting with old friends. I felt that him having friends to talk to once again would be a great thing for our relationship. However, he started becoming distant from me at the same time. He would barely talk to me when I got home from work, and spent the entire evening texting with his friends.
A few days later he told me that he wants to take a break from our relationship to work on improving himself. I don't really believe that breaks work out in the end, but I agreed. I felt we could both use this time to work on ourselves and that we would be the exception to the norm. We did not discuss dating other people; that was not my intent during this break and I just assumed the same for him.
After being away from him and gaining some perspective, I'm starting to feel uneasy about the whole thing. I couldn't shake the feeling that this break came about only because now he has other friends to talk to. As unhealthy as it is, I let him pretty much become my whole life and social support system, so the last week has been really difficult for me. I also know he's been hanging out a lot with one of his old friends who recently professed to having had a crush on him in high school and that she's unhappy in her current relationship. Something about all of this just feels off to me.
I'm worried that this "break" will lead to an eventual breakup because he's found someone else he's more interested in. All I know now is that I can't keep going on like this; I need some kind of resolution. How do I express this to him without sounding like I'm unwilling to give him space or just sounding untrusting and paranoid? Can breaks really just be about improving oneself outside of a relationship? | Boyfriend of 8 years wants a break from our relationship to improve himself; I need a resolution. How do I talk to him about this while still giving him the space he needs? |
t3_4ykn2s | relationships | [25F] With my boyfriend [29M] of two years, I found evidence of him reading my emails on my iPad that I let him borrow. What do? | Jake and I have been together for two years, lived together for one and we have an awesome relationship. We dance in the kitchen, stay up late drinking scotch and playing backgammon, and co-parent two fun kitties. We agree on religion/politics/marriage/kids and are on an agreed-upon timeline to take things to the next level. We know the passcodes for each others phones but never, ever use them for snooping. Just to check the time/change the music/whatever. Or so I thought.
We've been going to the pool and I dusted off my old iPad mini that I really only use when traveling so that he could do some reading. I logged out of facebook because messenger notifications go through automatically, but it didn't even occur to me to sign out of the mail app. He's kept it by his bedside and uses it occasionally for reading before bed.
Today I was on my iPad and I opened up my mail app and an email was open that I know I wouldn't have pulled up on it myself. It was a recent thread between myself and my graduate advisor concerning my research progress. I don't know what else if anything he read and my heart is sinking. My last serious boyfriend had a snooping/trust issue that eventually tore us apart and I thought I would never have to worry about it with Jake. But here we are. I'm devastated and I don't know how to confront him to make him understand how disappointed in him I am but also not to make him think that I have something to hide. I feel entitled to my privacy and he has broken my trust. It's also his birthday weekend, if that matters, so I'd prefer not to bring him down too terribly hard.
I thought about just asking him, "How long have you been reading my emails?" and gauging his reaction. | My boyfriend violated my privacy and read my emails on my ipad without my consent. How do I confront him? What should I do? |
t3_1z4b2w | relationships | F[31], M[31] on/off...and really on again. I think. | Dated a guy years ago. I was his first girlfriend and love him. He had to move away soon. So, there was always this strange fear of that. There was no clear break up. Just me frustrated and pushing him off finally. We're apart for a few months. We end up living in close proximity again for about 2 years. Sexytimes, cuddles, fun happens again but he's moving soon again. So that fear is there. Nothing officially restarts. He says he can't start anything until he settles down. He moves again. I move further. I start dating somebody else. He never starts with anybody after me. I'd been with the new guy for almost three years. It's good but not quite that forever feeling and I never forgot the ex. I spill the L word to the ex via drunken text over a year ago and tell him to cut me off if he doesn't feel the same. He's still not settled and is jobless and living with his parents. He cuts me off. It lets me finally move on. 9 months pass and he comes back and we're talking again. He's settled. We now live 8 hours apart and I'm fine with being internet buddies. ...Then we get reallllly talking. This leads to private pics/videos exchanged. He asked for my pic first and I was really reluctant. Finally we exchange. I figure he got what he wanted and would move on. Ya know, like guys do or w/e. But nope. It's still going. I never initiate. He does. I like the attention and he is so cute when I compliment him...he's really modest and self hating :/ Girls won't talk to him and get to know the real, sweet him. BUT anyway, he's just so fearless and nice now. And most importantly, settled with a good job. I see him soon and I think I want to be with him again. What do. Take this seriously? Or is it just dumb. Ask if you want more details. | Relationship interrupted by life. On/off for years. Life seems to be letting it happen now if it's going to. Is the distance flirting something to pursue? |
t3_oaiyf | AskReddit | iphone was stolen in need of some helpful advice. | I know this is a first world problem, but I kept the same old cellphone for years, I waited out two 3 year contracts, changed companys signed a new cell contract not two weeks ago got a new iphone that was really excited about, and then someone stole my purse off a restaurant table with my phone in it. It's a 4s so I tried using the icloud to track it, and "lost my iphone" app on someone else phone, nothing comes up. Called apple and they didn't have anything helpful that I hadn't tried. I filed a police report submitted my serial number. Is there anything else I could do? I'm honestly crushed, I don't have the money for replacing, i've already had my car broken into this year with all my belongings stolen, not my year. If anyone has helpful advice or something I haven't tried, please let me know. Negative comments need not apply. | iphone stolen any advice on getting it back, filed police report, tried icloud, and "lost my iphone" app |
t3_13cfuk | AskReddit | Reddit, when you've had an accident or traumatic event how did you deal with the emotional aftermath? Humor or fear? | I was in my first car accident today. It's all pretty hazy, but basically I was stopped at a stop sign intending to turn left. This was on a back road I've never driven on before. I looked both ways, twice, then went to make my turn. The next thing I knew my car was completely stopped and slowly started to feel intense pain my in shoulder from the seat belt. It was just like that scene in Saving Private Ryan where sound was slowly fading in. I couldn't breathe. Or think. Eventually I managed to slam my door open and survey the damage.
My car is wrecked. Totaled. The guy who hit me had to be going 50 mph at least. I was sent to the hospital because I had hit my head at some point. While there I realized I wasn't really processing the would thing. It would slowly hit me, then I'd "forget" for a few moments. I would feel terrified of ever leaving my apartment again, then feel like I needed to take on the world. My husband keeps making jokes. He says I'm in no danger because I'm obviously indestructible. I feel very lucky, and very mortal. I'm not too sure how well I'm going to deal with all this over the next few days.
So, how have you dealt with traumatic events? Did you curl up in a ball for a few weeks before you were able to move on? Or did you laugh it off? Are you still lost somewhere in between? | My first car accident I was t-boned at high speed. Walked away practically unscathed. My husband claims I'm Unbreakable. I'm feel like Mr. Glass. |
t3_1hns3b | relationships | 17F needs advice on long-distance relationship with 18M | 3 years ago, I (17F) met a guy (18M) at a summer camp. We immediately hit it off, and once we left camp we kept in touch. We were basically in an unofficial long-distance relationship. Gradually we both lost touch, but knew we'd see each other again during the summer.
Fast forward to the next summer. We went to camp together and hit it off yet again. A few weeks into camp, though, he decided he wanted to date a girl that lived nearer to him. I was upset for a solid 9 months, but I got over myself and realized that I was sad I was single, but not angry at him for his choice.
We just saw each other again (he visited me for a day). We ended up getting somewhat intimate, but we were in public and couldn't do much.
A few weeks later, I happened to be where he lives, and he took me out on what was pretty much a date. It was the first time he and I really acted like a couple to the rest of the world.
I've loved this guy (yes, I used the "L" word) ever since I met him. Unfortunately, we can't be together for at least 4 years due to college. I haven't yet told my parents (or really anyone) for fear that they'll freak out, but I honestly think I may marry this guy one day when the time is right and we've had a chance to truly live together.
Is it completely unreasonable to think this way? How should I approach the situation with him? My parents? | been in somewhat secret long distance relationship with guy for 3 years, want to eventually be with him for good, how do I approach the situation? |
t3_2oeh1n | relationships | [25F] with my boyfriend [25M] 2yrs, how to deal with temper tantrums? | So, my boyfriend and I have a pretty great relationship. We love living together, the sex is great, and I'm very much part of the family at this point, but there's just one thing.
We don't usually fight, but sometimes, like today, he will make a mistake and go into full meltdown mode. Today, I brought home a project for a class for him to look at, and when he was handing it back to me, he dropped it. A small piece broke off, and that's when he lost it.
Now, I was not angry. Barely even peeved. I'm very laid-back and I know that shit happens. It clearly was an accident, but he totally freaked, saying he was done for the day. He holed himself up in the bedroom, where he's been for the last couple of hours.
That kind of behavior, unlike an honest mistake, *does* make me really angry. I hate it when he does this and honestly it's baffling to me. We're normally such good communicators and have had no issues dealing with finances, unemployment, or problems stemming from my mental illness, which is now well under control.
I don't understand how he can be so reasonable so much of the time and then turn into a huge fucking baby when something like this happens. I've tried making it clear to him that, usually, whatever the "mistake" he makes is doesn't bother me nearly as much as the way he acts about it. It's very melodramatic, especially coming from someone relatively reserved.
I don't really know how to handle him during these moments except for doing it the way I'd do with an actual child, and walking away. I don't know if that's healthy or not, but he makes it very difficult to resolve anything when he blows it so far out of proportion I can barely remember what caused the reaction.
Is there any way I can help him be more communicative in these situations? | When my boyfriend does something wrong, he throws a huge temper tantrum that pisses me off way more than the original issue. What do? |
t3_n2ain | dating_advice | When I talk to the guy I like he seems to be flirty, but I'm not sure if he is actually interested in me. | I'm a 19 year old girl and I have a pretty cute but big crush on an older friend of mine [21] I met down at college. When ever we talk, which is mostly on facebook, he uses cute emoticons and hearts and says we should hang out on his days off of work. Once in particular he even said I'm going to look really cute in a costume I bought.
We share a lot of interests and from previous conversations it seems like he could be interested. He once told me:
"There are a lot of really awesome girls around me that I all like for different reasons.
Girls who have great tastes in movies and music like you, and girls who have a bunch of awesome hobbies that I've never tried, or girls that are really smart about the things I'm really dumb about
All of 'em are around me and I always take the "sit back and let things unfold" approach, which really doesn't get me anywhere x3"
The thing is, I always have to be the one who starts our conversations. Does this mean he is not all that interested in me? | I get along really well with this guy I really like, but I'm not sure if he likes me because he never talks to me first. I have to start our conversations. What do you think? |
t3_ij1k8 | AskReddit | I failed a drug test, wrongfully so I have been sober for over 6 years. Is there anything I can do to fight back? | I got a job offer, a quiet lucrative one at that and was required to go through the hoops of their hiring process including: Background check, Driving record check, and lastly a drug test. I found out today that the reason I had not heard back from the company for over 2 weeks was that I failed the drug test. I'm seriously upset right...this isn't possible.
Reddit, I cannot lie to you, but the truth is I am a sober person. I haven't drank since I tried it in high school and didn't like the effects/hangovers/etc/medical issues and I do not partake in any smoking of illegals (don't worry i'm not judging you r/trees).
However I do take vitamins, a lot of them (b, c, multi) because I have a weak immune system and in High School I as hospitalized a few times with kidney issues resulting in blood in my pee and although it was nothing serious the doctors advised me that drinking could kill me because my kidneys were weak and struggled to do their jobs.
I guess my question is, there any legal way to ask for a retest or to prove my medical history and get them to acknowledge that i'm not on drugs? | Failed Drug Test. When actually sober. Lost out on huge job contract 3 years guaranteed salary at $50k+. |
t3_1mxr2m | offmychest | I regret leaving my girlfriend | Just for clarification, this is thoughts I have and I have trouble sharing things with people verbally, and just in general. So this is basically the only place I will have shared it.
The girl I dated from around november to may, she was a beautiful chinese girl, I was 17 at the time, and she was 14. She was absolutely perfect for me, we got along perfectly. We were about an hour and 15 minutes apart and my car couldnt make it that far because it was pretty crappy to be honest, so I had to borrow my mothers car. Everything was going so well until my ex came back into my life, who had dumped me for her ex. It was coming up on my 18th birthday and my parents were pushing me to break up with the girl (i loved her I didn't want to do it) because I was turning 18 and she was going on 15. Plus the distance started to bother me, and the fact that my ex was coming back in the picture. And stupid me went with it. I dumped her, for the dumbest reasons ever. I just stopped. Did I not love her anymore? Why of course I still loved her.
Months later. The relationship with my ex has fallen apart, and the girl I left is with another guy from my town. The break up kills me every day. I've developed depression and anxiety. I have flashbacks of moments together at random times in the day and it just gives me anxiety. The slightest smell triggers a flashback to a day with her. I know it sounds stupid but it feels like a soldier with PTSD, but with a freaking relationship. I kill myself every day thinking I left a girl I still love for stupid fucking reasons. The girl I am STILL in love with, is never coming back, will never want me again, will never ever EVER be mine again, and I just fucking threw it away. Because I'm too much of a pussy to suck up a few things like distance. | I left my girlfriend, I regret it deeply, and it is haunting my everyday life, hendering me from doing anything productive. |
t3_2xxn8l | relationships | Me [22F] with my [25 ] 2 years I have major trust issues and his actions on his phone are making me increasingly jealous. Help! I used to be a nice normal girl! | I have always believed that Love was dumb, it took a hold of all my friends and made them act irrationally. I was not into playing that game, that is, until I met him. We were friends instantly, spent all our time together and this continued until now. One month shy of two years.
This boy has told me he wants to stay with me but have sex with other people. He has downloaded tinder behind my back, he has random girls on snapchat he talks too, and worst of all I am still madly in love with him and want him to be in my life forever.
Love is so messed up. I should know better but I keep trying to reason that he will stop because he knows how badly it upsets me. Its almost compulsive. He is so cute I dont know why he feels like he needs a confidence boost from these random ( truthfully not so cute girls) when I would do anything for him. He always has an excuse and if he doesn't he just gets mad and blows up so there is no chance of a good discussion.
We have decided to take a break, not break up. And see how the time apart makes us feel about eachother. I'm still texting him ..even though according to a majority of this subreddit you should stay out of contact with you man.
I feel like I'm avoiding doing all the right things to help myself but in reality I feel so lost but in love. I don't want to ruin anything good but if its bad I need to know now and leave this bastard for real. No "break" like Ross and Rachel but an honest to goodness goodbye forever we cant be friends if this continues | Boyfriend interested in other girls but says that he loves me an doesnt want to lose me. Help me before I go crazy! |
t3_1gx94h | relationships | Men of Reddit: I [20f] am having a medical (pill) abortion on Tuesday and my boyfriend [21m] is going to be by my side the entire time. What can I do to make things easier him [21m]? | For those who don't know, a pill abortion involves taking prescribed medicine at home and terminating the pregnancy out of the doctor's office. It's preferable because you don't have to have a procedure, but they are notoriously excruciating/messy. The agony can last for anywhere from 2-12 hours. It's basically a chemically-induced miscarriage with labor-like pains.
I feel like I'm as prepared as I can be for all of this and I know that it won't be easy for either of us. He's been wonderful through this entire thing and we have what a very healthy and fun relationship. He's a kind, intelligent, and level-headed man - I'm not trying to baby him. I just care about him and, while I'm still in a pain-free state of mind, I want to know if there's anything I can do before or during this to make him feel better. While I will be the one going through the physical pain, the emotional and mental stress is going to be very real for both of us.
It's entirely possible that the second I start feeling the pain I might throw all of this advice out the window and shut down (I have no idea how much it's going to actually hurt for me), but do you guys have any ideas about what I should have on hand/do/say to make this less traumatic for him?
Do I prep him about what to do if I start sobbing/yelling/stabbing him?
Get out his favorite movies?
Make his favorite food before hand so he quickly grab something to eat?
Move the xbox from the living room to my room?
Tell him to wear a cup?
I just don't want to ignore the fact that this is an experience that's going to impact both of us.
Thanks in advance. Feel free to AMA you feel necessary. | Having a pill abortion at home in a couple days. What can I do/say to lessen my wonderful boyfriend's stress? |
t3_2r4swq | personalfinance | Advice Needed/Question about 403(b) Plan | Sorry if this is the wrong sub, and if it is please feel free to point me to the right one :)
I have 2 main questions--
ONE:
I am currently enrolled in a 403(b) with my employer. I put in 8% and they match it. I have close to $10,000 in the plan...
I may be (very soon) starting a new job that will be part of the State retirement system (my current job is not).
What happens to my 403(b) plan if I quit my current job? Do I lose that money? Does it just sit at that $9,800...? Can I continue to contribute to it with my new job, adding on to my current balance?
TWO:
I have been debating asking for a $5,000 loan from my 403(b) plan. On a scale of 1 to 10, with ten being super-stupid, how dumb of a move would that be?
Additionally, if I get this new job, how does me borrowing the money while being employed at my current job affect things, if at all? | I know nothing about the 403(b) plan that I was encouraged to enroll in when I got my first big-girl job. |
t3_4lzkg0 | relationship_advice | My sister [20/f] and my mom and aunt are constantly bumping heads and I'm [19/m] always the middle man and out of ideas | Ever since I was in 6th grade my sister and I moved in with my aunt while my mom worked out of the state, so we've been living with my aunt, uncle and cousin for maybe 8 years now.
As expect in the beginning there weren't really many problems... But fast forward to the past couple years, I feel as if my aunt is always bumping heads with her own son and my sister. And if she [aunt] feels as if she was right, she would call my mother to report (for a lack of a better word) to. My mother would then call my sister but my sister and my mother are both incredibly impatient and cannot have a proper conversation.
(*Language barriers also play a factor, my mother speaks Chinese and very little English while my sister speaks English primarily and very little Chinese.)
I understand and speak both English and Chinese fluently, so if there's a problem or anything that they can't communicate they would go to me and it would be a game of fucking telephone.
The problem at hand is not that I'm tired of being the middle man, it's more like I honestly do not know what to tell either of them anymore. I have tried to talk to my sister and my mother but both of them have views that seem correct, at least to me.
So what should I do? I have thought about having an intervention with both of them but I'm not sure how it would turn out.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long background. | My sister and I have been living at my aunt's house for most of our lives. My aunt and mother constantly bump heads with sister. I don't know what to do or what to tell them. |
t3_4vq2ox | relationships | My [26f] boyfriend [30m] loves wearing one of "my" shirts that actually belonged to a former FWB | Ok so I know this is a trivial thing, but it's been nagging at my conscience for a while now so I figured I'd ask Reddit.
My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and everything is great. He's an awesome person.
Prior to us dating, I had a FWB thing going on with this one guy for about 7-8 months. We saw each other once every 1-2 weeks. Towards the end he seemed always too busy to meet up, and I got the vibe he didn't want to see me anymore, which was fine with me as I was wanting to seek a more serious relationship at that point. I met my now-BF 6 months later.
Early on in our dating, my boyfriend stayed at my place one night. The next morning we decided to get breakfast and he asked if I had a fresh shirt he could wear. I'm rather petite so I don't have much in men's sizes. The only clean thing I could come up with was a t shirt from my former FWB. I felt a little weird giving it to my BF but at that point I didn't know exactly where our relationship was going, and it seemed like an inconsequential thing. He asked me where it came from because he liked the graphic on it... I shrugged and said I thought it was my brother's. I wasn't gonna tell this guy I was just recently dating and really into that it was from the last guy I hooked up with...
Fast forward to now, the shirt pretty much lives at my BFs house. He has claimed it and wears it often, and has even mentioned he likes it cause it reminds him of me. This makes me feel guilty... Plus we live in a large town but not large enough to not occasionally run into people. We actually ran into the FWB guy once, and I have some mutual friends with FWB still. I'm paranoid of running into FWB with my boyfriend while he's wearing that damn shirt.
So should I tell my boyfriend about the shirt's origin, should I just live with it, or do I steal the shirt back and make it...disappear? | my boyfriend loves this shirt that he thinks is from me but that I got from a former FWB. I feel guilty when he wears it and wonder if I should do something about it. |
t3_102c8y | relationships | Boyfriend [23M] won't commit to relationship with me [20F] | We have been together for 10 months, and our relationship is awesome. We don't fight and he is probably the best thing that has every happened to me. Whenever we do get into arguments, we settle it out in a healthy way (this is how I feel, how can I make it better, etc). We get along very well and have a great sex life. About three months ago, things become long distance (~1 hour away) but we still communicate well.
The only thing is that he seems afraid of commitment. About 6 months in, I said "I love you', and he said it back but didn't seem to mean it. After about a month I called him out for it because he never said it first and whenever he did say it back, he kind of mumbled it. He finally admitted he wasn't sure- and when I told him that he shouldn't have lied to me and to only tell me when he's ready, he was like 'No! I didn't lie. It's not that I don't, I just don't know.' By the way he treats me, he definitely does care about me/shows love for me, and I don't want to rush him. But I don't think he will ever say it.
Finally, throughout our entire relationship he doesn't really show public affection toward me. Together, it's perfect, but in front of friends or online it's like we aren't even together. I don't think he's trying to hide me (everyone knows we are in a relationship and we are together on facebook info box or whatever) but at the same time I feel like he doesn't show me off or anything. We've literally taken only one picture together the entire time we've been together while he has taken millions of pictures with his friends.. I can't help but think that the reasons you take pictures is because you care and want to keep a memory with someone, so he must not want to keep any memories with me. Could you guys give me any advice? | ! My boyfriend is wonderful (perfect, in fact) and cares about me, but I think he's too scared to commit to our relationship and don't know what to do. |
t3_4l03aa | tifu | TIFU by crossing up crunchy snacks | At the risk of shocking you, dear reader, I have been known to enjoy a couple of pints and a bowl of roast peanuts after a hard day's labour. Last evening - much to the chagrin of my cat companions - I became so distracted by my heavily salted legumes and rich malty ale that I allowed 5:00 PM to pass unnoticed. Food time, it must be noted, is at exactly five, or before whenever possible – never, ever after. Dealing with a frenzy of four fussing felines frolicking at my feet, I absentmindedly tossed the last few peanuts into my mouth, walked to the kitchen, started doling out kibble, absentmindedly tossed the last few peanuts into my mouth...it becomes obvious where it all went wrong at that point. Long story short, I have no idea how the cats can be so enthusiastic about this horrid meaty concoction. I ended up spitting it all over the wall and yelling 'frig!' at considerable volume, eliminating any lingering possibility
(however slight) my wife didn't notice the entire fiasco, so now I'm to be known as the afternoon-drunk cat-food-eater forevermore. | Eatin' peanuts, eatin' peanuts, eatin' peanuts, eatin' cat food...phhhhbfffFRIG! |
t3_uva0m | AskReddit | Struggling with the fact I might not be able to have kids. | F (26) I have been struggling with my feminine health for as long I can have had a mistral cycle. My problems consisted of long, heavy, and painful mistral cycles. My doctor at the age of 14 put me on a really strong birth control which seemed to do the trick up until I was 17 when I became pregnant and made the very hard decision to have an abortion.
After my abortion, I continued to stay on birth control until I was 21 and no longer on my mother's insurance. Of course my killer mistral cycles came back full blast, but I had no choice, but to deal with them and go on with my daily life.
In August 2011 at the age of 24 while working as a personal shopper at a very high end fashion store I feel to the grown in extreme pain and noticed I was surrounded in my own blood. After being rushed to the hospital I was told that I had endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome. My doctor suggested I have a hysterectomy. I could not have this procedure until I was back on my mother's insurance and that would not be until January 1st of 2012. In the mean time I was put on meds to keep from having any more damage done. My doctor did inform me that my chances of having children were very slim even if I took all the drugs and therapies in the world. Once I was back on my mother's insurance my doctor sent off to get my hysterectomy approved. To all of our surprise I was denied and will not be able to reapply until September 2012.
I never wanted kids before, but now I want them so much. I think about it daily. My boyfriend how I am just absolutely head over heels in love with wants kids very badly. He is aware of what I am going though and is beyond supportive and loving. Whoever, I am still suffering in silence about this. I really bothers me and keeps up at night some times. I am a very level headed, down to earth, and get over it and move on kind of person, but this is one subject I am really truly struggling dealing with. I am not every open about this matter and I do not talk about it a lot. | F/(25) it's a big possibility I will not be able to have kids of my own. I am having trouble dealing with this reality even though I never wanted kids before. |
t3_1gjsob | relationships | I (27/M) don't know what to do about my marriage with my wife (28/F) (X-post r/deadbedrooms) | I've been married for 5 years, and with my SO for 9. She is the only woman I've ever even kissed. For what were originally religious reasons, we saved ourselves for marriage through 4 years of dating. We were somewhat physical still by making out and under the clothes physical contact. On our wedding night I found myself unable to complete intercourse due to causing fairly significant physical pain to my wife. I found it impossible to keep it up while hurting her. This continued throughout our honeymoon and I developed something of a self esteem complex that lasted for a number of years. We initially would atleast be somewhat physical but the distance between these events grew over time. Eventually, we had about 3 years of a DB.
About a year ago we began to attempt physical intimacy again and were somewhat successful with oral sex. Still, this fizzled out quickly and it has been a DB since. I just don't find my wife physically attractive anymore. It isn't that she isn't still beautiful, its just that I have so many negative feelings towards her because of the issues' we've had. We have been fighting more and more lately and I am deeply unhappy with our relationship. It feels like we have been nothing more than economic room mates for the past 5 years. She's been wanting to attempt sex again recently; not for intimacy, but because she wants children. I am afraid of having children when I am already so unhappy about where we are.
I've been thinking about leaving her but I don't want to hurt her. I still love her as a person, I just am not interested in her at all. I've suggested counseling but she refuses because she does not want to talk to a stranger about our problems. Help! | 5 years marriage, 9 years together. Never had actual full intercourse and unsatisfied with marriage. Wife won't do counseling, thinking about leaving her. Opinions? |
t3_41ptv8 | relationships | Me [26F] with my husband [25M], changing my mind about not wanting children | My husband and I have been together for 4 years and got married a year ago. Before we got married we discussed having children and decided it wasn't for us (we both have great jobs, travel a lot, value/enjoy spending time as just a couple, etc. etc...). Having children was never something that was high on my priority list and it was a relief to me that he felt the same.
In the last few months I have started to rethink my decision not to have children. I still don't know if it is something I want but it is something I would like to explore. I don't know how to bring this up with my husband. I feel like we went into our marriage with an agreement and now that he's stuck with me, I'm changing the rules of the game.
The frustrating thing for me is that nothing has changed regarding my reasons for not wanting children. I just find myself more and more often entertaining the idea of having a baby someday. There is also no reason for us NOT to have a baby (other than not wanting too) - we are financially stable, healthy, and would have support from our extended family if this was something we decided we wanted.
There are a few possibilities I can see happening if we have this conversation:
1. I bring up potentially having children, he agrees to it, we have a baby in a few years and I always wonder if he actually wanted the child or if he just did it for me
2. I bring up having children, he agrees to it, I change my mind again and realize I don't really want kids and he is crushed because he actually wanted them
3. I bring up having children, he tells me he still doesn't want them and that puts stress on our relationship
Is this something I should bring up with him now or should I wait until I am more sure of what I want? | My husband and I previously agreed we didn't want kids, now I'm not so sure. Should I talk to him about maybe wanting a child? |
t3_ohji2 | AskReddit | What is your best story from high school? | Last night my best friend James and I were about to leave a school concert when we saw one of our other friends Daniel leaving with his girlfriend. Being fairly bored I suggested we follow them so that we could scare them. We followed them for 10 minutes and they pulled into an empty parking lot. We parked a block away and snuck like ninjas around the edge of the parking lot behind a huge truck they were parked next to. Not wanting to be seen we crawled under the back of the truck on the side of the car that they were in. I should let you know that this was our Daniel's first girlfriend which sort of explains his over-reaction. Anyway James and I each on one side of Daniel's car count to three and jump up to scare them. But when we pop up we both stare for half a second to see our friends' girlfriend on top of him in the backseat of his car. I realize that this isn't unexpected, but at the time it surprised us, so we abandon our plan to scare them and sprint for our lives to the car. Daniel saw us running and began to chase us, running faster than I have ever seen him run. I realize that we won't make it to the car without him catching us so I split up from James and tell him rapidly to pick me up around the block while I outrun him. Luckily Daniel decided to chase me so I run around the block to meet James, he opens the passenger door and I jump in with Daniel in hot pursuit. Without space to drive further without hitting Daniel, James drives in reverse about 500 feet and then turns around and we speed off filled with adrenaline. | Friend and I decided to follow and scare our other friend, but we chicken out and it ends up becoming an epic chase scene. |
t3_2pxxjs | tifu | TIFU by accidentally poisoning myself | This happened yesterday. Posting today as I'm just now feeling better.
I woke up early and got ready for work. I had my coffee and I mentally noted I needed to take some tylenol. (I've been experiencing migraines among other assorted aches and pains.
As I dug around in the cabinet, my body was kind of on auto pilot while chatting with my husband. I grabbed a bottle, opened it, took out 2 pills and took them.
I recall sitting down at my computer and noticed I started feeling a bit too warm and relaxed and kind of light headed.
Then I looked up and noticed the Tylenol was on top of the refrigerator. Instant dread as I realized what I'd done.
I kept my leftover Vicodin in the cabinet from when I had my wisdom teeth out last month. I knew that's what I'd taken. I'm also extremely sensitive to Vicodin and even a half of one makes me a little queasy.
I knew at that moment that the entire rest of my day was fucked, but my daughter had a dentist appointment that we couldn't miss.
It went something like this: I vomited once before we left, once when we pulled up in the parking lot, once during the appointment, and then again as soon as we got back. I spent the rest of the day in bed with the world spinning and a trash can next to me.
But hey, silver lining, it got rid of my headache. | I mistook my Vicodin for Tylenol and took quadruple the tolerable dose and spent the day sick as a dog. |
t3_3en0ci | relationships | I [21M] don't know how to stop hurting(emotionally) my gf[18F] | Hi, I've been a frequent lurker here but I could really use some advice right about now. Thank you if you take the time to read through my post. I'm sorry if this is all over the place.
I've been with my SO for about 4 months now and things have been great up until the past 2 weeks. She's brought to my attention numerous times where I would do things without thinking of her, or what she does for me. With her going away to college next month, I feel as though this is going to break us.
I completely agree with everything she says though which is the scary part. Without going much into detail, she holds our relationship together. Shes is possibly the busiest person I've ever met and yet still makes time for us to have together. I've really taken her for granted and now I don't know what to do.
She told me how shes just emotionally exhausted she is at this point. That shes given so much and I haven't been pulling my weight. She also asked my why she should even bother trying so hard if I cant even do little things for her. Ill admit there has been a lot of miscommunication in our relationship but I really am doing my best to help us. She hates me beating myself up over all this but it's the only way I can realize just how badly I've been fucking up.
I already know there are going to be comments about this just being "young love" or to "jump on the breakup train" but I really want to try my best to at least work towards this. I just dont know how to stop hurting her. Seeing her depressed over us is the worst feeling I've ever felt before. | I don't put in enough effort and don't think before I act. SO is scared what this means for us and I want to make it up to her. |
t3_nnjwd | AskReddit | I need your help to keep my cat! | Hey, reddit. I have a seven-year-old female Siamese mix who is fixed and has never given us any behavioral problems. Lately, however, she has taken to peeing all over my parents' bed, and for no apparent reason. She doesn't have a UTI, so I don't understand why she's doing it. My parents are so frustrating that they are threatening to get rid of my baby unless I do something to correct the situation. I'm so afraid that they will give her away while I'm at college, and it's stressing me out to the point where I've cried a couple of times. Help me figure out what's wrong and what I can do to fix this so that I can keep my little girl. | Otherwise healthy cat pees on parents bed, and parents want to get rid of her if I can't fix the problem |
t3_2qq5s3 | relationships | Girl[15] all of a sudden stopped talking to me?[16] | So basically this girl I really like and we used to go out for about 6 months and I started talking again about two months ago.
About 3 weeks ago she texted me saying she thought she annoyed me and I assured her she doesnt and told her I thought the same, she replied saying she loves talking to me and I will never annoy her. But recently about the past 5 days she just wont seem to talk to me, the only time we spoke is on christmas and we exchanged two texts? No idea why shes stopped talking to me but I need advice on what to do?
About 3 times I contacted her but only on snapchat and never a 'hey' or anything like that. Im thinking about texting her later asking her but I dont know.
There is this now other girl who likes me she said and wants to be more than friends, I kind of like her but I like the first girl more but shes the one who I havent spoke to. | Girl I really like stopped talking to me who showed she liked me too. Another girl says to me she wants to be more than friends and I kind of like her but I cant get over this other girl. Need advice? |
t3_x3l9t | relationships | Friend With Benefits or something more? Or something less? I'm confused. | So I slept with my friend (I'm 28, he's 26) and during he says "Can we keep this casual" and I say "ok", but let's face it; Talking while doing the deed isn't really the best idea.
Here's the thing though; He tells me that he wants to go on dates with me but also wants to remain single. What the hell?! I don't understand the point of constantly having something in limbo. I understand it's so he/we can see other people, but it's kind of like a "have your cake and eat it too." I unfortunately have no other cake to eat. This doesn't bother me.
I talked about how I have friends in different provinces and jokingly said "Wanna go on a road trip to Winnipeg? Hahaha" and he replied completely serious "Yeah sounds like it could be fun." Why would you want to travel across the country with your casual friend?
I've read on here about how being friends with benefits means just sex. No dates. No cuddling after. You go, you fuck, you leave. The end. So I can't classify what's happening as a fwb (at least I don't think I can) as there is cuddling and quality time together.
I don't know, Reddit. I feel like I'm being lead on and am going to be kicked to the curb when someone better comes along. I don't want to be right. I also feel like just a number now. Any insight? | Slept with my friend. He says he likes to date but likes to be single. So he wants to date me but see other people. I don't see a real point. |
t3_2po1vu | relationships | My [18M] girlfriend [22F] of 4 months texted me something while drunk. | We have been texting all night, and she has been drinking. We were being very lovey-dovey with eachother the whole night, flirting, generally loving eachother.
Then this happens
GF: I just wanna be in bed with you right now...
Me: I want that too baby <3
GF: I'm just paranoid because that's what al y IV TAs wanted :/
To explain, that's IV (Intravenous therapy [class]) Teacher's Assistants. She's doing pharmacy in college right now, and in her IV class, their are TAs who help the profs with stuff.
A few weeks ago she told me about how a few of the TAs were kicked out for sleeping with women in the class and boosting their grades.
Is what she said just a random statement? Does it have any significance? Did she hint that she did something because she's drunk?
What does it sound like to you guys? :/ | GF randomly while drunk tells me that teacher's assistant(s?) (Who have been known to use their authority to sleep with women) in her class wanted to sleep with her, what does it mean? |
t3_1edwo8 | relationship_advice | My[M15] best friend[F15] threw food in my face after I spoiled a book for another friend[F15] | Okay, so reddit, today there I sat in the school cafeteria happily eating my food when my female friends start discussing an apparently really sad book they are all infatuated with. A girl there mentions she wants to read the book and I for some reason blurted out a major event of the book. I really dont know why I did that. Now, my best friend who has already read the book screamed at me for spoiling it for her and took my plate of rice and threw the rice in my face. She and I have become pretty close over time to the point where we dont keep things from each other and her reaction came as a shock to me. I apologized to both of them and then walked away. Now, the screaming and the throwing was witnessed by all my friends and a teacher and I was really humiliated. She obviously didnt think much of it and was talking normally with me after a while, and I tried avoiding her for a bit after which so as to not create a scene I replied to her when she initiated conversation.
Its still nagging my mind and I want to talk to her about it but I dont want to create an issue unless other people think there is a need to. My friends told me it was uncalled for on her part but I held back thinking I was at some fault too for spoiling the story(though my friend had read it and the other girl didnt mind that much). | I spoiled a story for another friend and my best friend who had already read the book threw food in my face and screamed at me causing me distress. |
t3_1hvbaf | AskReddit | Do I have have any recourse against my landlord? | Been living at this apartment for a little over a year now, just resigned my lease with the landlord a month or so ago. Last night, SO and I found a huge growth of mold in a side room that is used for mostly storage purposes, though we also keep our liquor cabinet there. Now, we live in a garden-level apartment (AKA half of our living space is located in a former basement). Mold is on everything, to the point that some of our property is a total loss. Thankfully, our renters' insurance will cover some of the loss.
However, after talking to the upstairs tenant, I discovered that the previous tenant in our apartment (who had been here for 10 years) had moved out due to severe mold growth. The landlords then "replaced" everything and redid the apartment. Upon signing the initial lease or recently resigning it, none of this was disclosed to us. I've never had problems with mold in the basements of past residencies so I wasn't necessarily expecting it here. There is nothing in the lease about liability for mold or loss of property beyond that the renter is required to have insurance (which we do).
What, if anything, can we do about this? Is there a reasonable expectation for them to clean up this issue and resolve it completely? | Our apartment has had issues of mold that were never disclosed to us, now we're having similar problems. What can I do? |
t3_2l23au | relationships | Me [28 M] with my GF [33 F] of 9 months, ex is texting her | I'll get to the short of it. Her ex of two relationships ago is texting her late night for sexual favors. They're friends and have been friends for a while now. They share the same circle of friends.
So, It started with a couple of times when we first started dating, she declined and told him that she was seeing me. But recently, this guy has become more of a pest. With texts coming just about every week. She always tells me and shows me when they come.
How do I go about telling her that she needs to be stern with this dude and tell him to stop without A: Looking like a dick and trying to dictate her life B: being insecure about another guy?
I know she would never cheat on me (this guy cheated on her as to why the relationship ended), our sex life is great, she loves me. It's just this guy being annoying.
I've met him, we're on a mutual level and he respects our relationship when he's around, of course. He doesn't know I know, and I still maintain my cool, but I'm worried I'm going to pop off on him about it when it's not my place to say, but hers. | GF's ex is texting her for sexual favors. It's getting annoying. How do I ask her to say something to him without looking like I'm insecure or trying to tell her how to live her life? |
t3_290yu7 | relationships | My (f/22) boyfriend (m/24) (together for a year) doesn't know how to ask me things. I get defensive if he states something I'm doing instead of asking and he is getting frustrated. | The title is kind of confusing to put, but I'll give an example.
Earlier today when he came home from work I was switching the netflix on the ps3 from the big one to the small one (switching the hdmi cord) and was switching it back to the channel for his computer. Instead of seeing what I was doing, or asking, he spat out, "Don't turn off my tv!" I replied, "I wasn't turning it off."
I saw a clip for Shark Tank on Hulu and it skipped them showing the product, he fussed "why did you fast forward it?" Instead of asking if I did. When I explained that it was only a clip he said,"Well why are you watching it then?" I responded, "Because it said Million dollar deal and I wanted to see it. I didn't know they weren't going to show the product." He then gets frustrated says, "Why do you get so defensive? All I did was ask?"
I explained to him that I feel like he's attacking me and that I would like for him to ask me instead of state things without even asking if that's what I was doing. Now he is kinda giving me the silent treatment/hardly talking to me.
What can I do to relay this to him? Am I the one in the wrong? | Boyfriend makes demanding statements that are usually wrong instead of asking me or just seeing what I'm doing and then gets fruatrated that I'm being 'defensive' when I explain or validate whatever I really was doing. |
t3_3pem0f | relationships | I (20F) asked my best friend (20M) if he could set me up with someone for a dance. He said yes but turned back on it because I'm "kinda fugly". | My best friend in college is a guy, we'll call him Tad. Tad and I have known each other since early on freshman year, and we're juniors now, so a couple years.
Tad's dorm has this really fancy dance every year, and I've always wanted to go. Tad has a girlfriend so obviously he wasn't going to take me. I asked him if he could set me up with one of his friends. They're all nerdy engineers and not all of them have female friends, so I assumed one of them would need a date. He said he would.
A few days before the dance I asked him if he had found anyone. He said he didn't ask, and when I asked why, he chuckled a bit and said "I mean, you're kinda fugly and they probably wouldn't take me seriously, you know them."
I cried. I fucking cried. I know I'm not pretty and I've never been approached by a male before, but I didn't think I was that ugly. I cried and ran away. Tad came after me and apologized, he said he was only joking (his manner was pretty jovial), but I told him it was an awful joke to make. We talked it over and on paper we're cool now.
I'm still really shaken by what he said, though. I find myself staring at my reflection and feeling like fucking Medusa. Like I said, I knew I wasn't pretty and I know I'm no one's first choice, especially in college when there are sorority girls everywhere and my SMV is low and all that shit. But I didn't think I was 'fugly'.
Is there a way to get over this and just be friends with Tad again without all this resentment? | Friend jokingly insulted my looks, I took it hard. We've made peace but I'm finding it really hard to let go. |
t3_3b7e5k | relationships | me [14M] hoping to fix things with girl [15F] | first off thanks for not brushing this off as a kiddish post
I guess it is pretty kiddish but I guess when you're a teen this stuff matters to you right?
anyways at the beginning of last school year new transfer girl comes to our school and I become really good friends with her over the first couple of months. I guess this is the part where I started to have feelings for her (oh wow what a kid thing to say) but the other kids in our grade made fun of her a lot about me
so being the cute little sensitive girl she is she kind of took a break with our friendship. after that I asked her to one of our formal school dances and she said yes but now it was pretty obvious that I really liked her. After that, I guess it was a little too much for her and we started drifting apart.
that was about 4-5 months ago and now it's 3 weeks into summer and im still chasing. we still talk sometimes but it's not like we're really close anymore and I can tell it's kind of awkward for her
soooo | met girl at beginning of school year became good friends but aren't friends anymore after she learned I had feelings for her and I don't think she likes me back |
t3_3w8ftl | weddingplanning | They say she's too young (flower girl) I say she's just right | Hello Weddit! So I just picked my flower girl, and I'm so excited! It's going to be my cousins little girl Greer. At the time of the wedding, next October, she will be 18 months. I am still young and don't have any friends or other family with kids. Everyone I have talked to about this has told me she is too young to be a flower girl. I say hate the player not the game!
I know she won't understand what a flower girl does or even care really. But she is going to be the awww factor at my wedding. My question is has anyone else experienced really young flower girls and what did they do?? I would prefer her to walk/wander down the Isle. Did they carry anything? I saw a really cute idea on pinterest with a wand and streamers!
I would love some help coming up with more unique ideas! Thanks!! | my flower girl is going to be 18 months come wedding time. Has anyone else had young flower girls and what did they do? What did they carry, if anything? |
t3_2hqj0h | relationships | I'm [30/F] having anxiety over my teeth for five years, mean negative comments, how to cope? | Hey reddit - hope someone can help me with my question!
Has anyone ever felt insecure when someone points out their flaw? I decided to get veneers 5 years ago and have been struggling with my confidence ever since.
I've had some mean comments saying that they looked like dentures, plastic or not real and that had shattered my self esteem into pieces. I got the veneers because my teeth were not as great as I hoped and I got them because I was insecure about my teeth. Well, bad idea, the veneers made me even more insecure!
Fast forward, i haven't been receiving the comments the last year or two simply because I know how to talk with my veneers now and before I was struggling to let out sounds/syllables and had a lisp due to the new teeth. However, yesterday, a girl in my group (i'm in Graduate school) made a comment in front of 4 or 5 colleagues of mine. She said "Why are your teeth so white and what did you do?" (while pointing). Mind you, I've known this girl for 6 weeks into the semester now and she's telling me this now in front of so many people! I was mortified and made up a lie that I got into a car accident five years ago and I had to get new veneers (caps). I know I need to set boundaries and figure out new coping strategies in case someone else says anything to me. Anyone have any ideas? I can't believe i'm still insecure because of this and I realized I made a mistake in getting the veneers. I never knew I'd get such hateful comments from strangers and friends!
Thanks guys! | Got veneers 5 years ago, still having anxiety/depression due to mean comments, not sure how to cope! any strategies? |
t3_40k1ie | relationships | Me [25 M] Never been in a relationship before, hell not even a date | As of January 1st 2016 I made a sobering realization, I am a quarter way through my life and have had nothing to show for it with human relationships, low self esteem and crippling anxiety prevents me from venturing outside my 'normal zones' of gym, work and home.
I feel like if a girl was to ever know that I have never been in a relationship, she would think less of me, and that constant fear or self defeatism perpetuates my state of loneliness. I don't hang out with friends/family, socialize with workmates or do anything remotely social outside of lurking on reddit and posting in obscure subreddits, occasionally, a constant fear of 'looking like a fool' in social situations prevents me from doing so.
I'm not happy at my current state of living, yet at the same time, I am, looking at other people with their family/friend problems. I try to tell myself, "at least I don't have anyone to disappoint or be disappointed by". | 25M never had a date/been with a girl or met anyone emotionally significant, feel empty, yet content, can I keep going like this? If this is bad, how do I eliminate crippling social anxiety? |
t3_41no92 | relationships | Me [21M] with my friend [26 F] 2 years, She's leaving the country, and I want to write a letter, but I'm not sure where to begin! | Hello all,
My friend of two years is finally moving on in life primarily because she was a foreign exchange student in the US, and I would like to give her a very meaningful letter, but I just cannot begin to write a letter to her, because either I feel, 1) I don't think it would be meaningful to write a 2 sentence letter. 2) I get kind of sad thinking about her leaving.
Honestly, I did like her for awhile which is making it worse, but the thing is, she's going back to her country which is across waters, and while we could easily chat over facebook I won't be able to see her for quite a long time, or forever.
So /r/relationships, how would you write a letter? | Friend is moving back to her home country, and don't think I will ever see her again, so I want to give her a meaningful letter before she goes, but don't know where to start. |
t3_2xsdtl | relationships | I [20 F] have been seeing a guy [20 M] for a few weeks, really starting to like him. But he is leaving soon for a few months. Where to leave the relationship? | Basically, this guy is the most attractive, kindest guy I have been with. He really appreciates all my good personality traits and has recognized the deep connection between us, in addition to giving lots of genuine compliments on my body and clearly conveying his attraction to me. We have been together for two weeks, seeing each other about 3-4 times a week and texting all day when we are apart.
The problem is, in 3 weeks, he is leaving for a 3 month vacation in Europe. I am afraid that things will escalate before he leaves and we will not know where to leave the relationship.
Another problem is that I am wildly attracted to him and there is such intense sexual tension between us - but I am a virgin (he is certainly not) and I don't want to have sex without some sort of commitment. Is it a bad idea to sleep with him in a few weeks, close to the time that he will be leaving? Should I ask for some sort of commitment or label, or is it too soon? Is it better to relieve this sexual tension before he leaves or let it continue for 3 months?
Having known someone for 1 month then being apart from him for 3 months is really tough, and I wonder if we should slow things down so they don't get too hard to end before he leaves.
Any advice as to how to proceed with this guy would be very much appreciated - thank you in advance! | Escalating relationship and sexual tension soon to be cut off by a 3 month hiatus - where to go from here? |
t3_4r5avn | relationship_advice | Need some help with recent friendzone experience | Hello all,
I [17M] just got whacked with the friendzone title from someone [17F] I've liked and known for a while now. We went to a carnival together last week, went to a park yesterday, held hands and kissed her twice (she's the one that actually initiated all of this) (she's also my first kiss too which makes all of this kind of painful) but today I hear from her (and her best friend) that she's not ready for a relationship right now because she's stressed with her work and everything, and that she wants to "see how things go". She still wants to hang out and talk to me and everything though.
Should I read into this too much? What do I do? Wait for her to "see how things go"?
I'm very confused to all of this as well. Who kisses someone twice, holds their hands, etc (in a public setting) and then decides that they're not interested in a relationship (at least not at this time)? Do you think she's seriously stressed out or is this some kind of sick joke? Or am I too cynical? I've never really been in a relationship and it went from incredible (serious PDA) to pretty crappy very quickly.
Not sure what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks. | Got involved very much with girl I know and like well, all of a sudden (or not) she decides she doesn't want a relationship and wants to see how things go. Not sure how to respond. |
t3_3jtp4n | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ex [17 F] 7 Months, broke up because she said she needed to make herself happy. | Just recently I got dumped so that my now ex-girlfriend could find
ways to make herself happy without me. She said this "I am not always going to be with someone and need to find ways to make myself happy without you". I told her that I was committed and in it for the long run and would always be there for her.
She said that she needed to do this alone and agreed to just be friends.She said previously that she had this type of depression for four years. She told me this at the beginning of the relationship and during other parts of the relationship. I am just wondering if this has happen to anyone else and get some advice on what to do in this situation. I still love her and she said that she still loved me. During the break-up we kissed twice and talked for 2 hours then she left.
She is graduating high school this year and would most likely be going to my college. She continued that if we bumped into each other that we might date again. Even still I know that's not a definite since she also planned on not dating anyone while she is in this depression.
I am not talking to her or messaging her until she is ready to
accept me fully as her friend. She said I could text her in a
week which would be 9/9/15. I was wondering if I should talk her
or just let her settle and have her grow.
I would really love some female insight on this. I don't mind for
guys to help too because who knows you maybe know something
that is going on and can help.
Anyways any feed back is good
thank you very much :) | Girlfriend broke up with me because she feels like she is about to go into a deep depression/Should I help,just talk to her, or just leave her be! |
t3_2uw6ug | relationships | Should I [20M] get a place with my GF [20F] or my twin[20M]? | Hey everyone! So currently, I live with my brother, my girlfriend, and some other roommates. It was originally my brother, our roommates, and myself but when my girlfriend became borderline homeless I invited her to stay with us, to which none of the roommates minded. When discussing next years plans, the thought between my girlfriend, brother, and I was the three of us getting a place. However, my brother and girlfriend do not get along very well at all. They used to, with some faults, but after some time neither want to live with each other next year and I am stuck to chose who to live with. I've decided earlier that I would chose my girlfriend, we live great together and are great partners. We have similar hobbies and we want the same thing out of life. My girlfriend moved to this state only knowing me and one other person, who is engaged, so really I am the only person she has here.
Recently, my brother has been making me feel bad about not choosing him. I love my brother dearly and it is very painful to see the two people I love so much fight each other so bitterly.
I would love to live with my brother too, and we could all three live together if the two just settle their differences but both are very stubborn and unapologetic, no one is stepping up to be the bigger person and I am stuck in the crossfire, left to litigate between the two. My girlfriend has told me that my brother will ruin our relationship if we live with him, and most of the times when we fight it is derived from something my brother has done. She has tried very hard to be his friend, but he has pushed her to a point where she does not feel comfortable in pursuing new efforts.
I know if I choose living with my brother, I will miss living with my girlfriend and if I choose living with my girlfriend, I will miss living with my brother.
What would you do? Any extra info needed, please feel free to ask! | My twin brother and my girlfriend do not get along at all and it is putting my relationship and living situation on the line. |
t3_26v2tg | relationships | Me [23 M] having trouble with my friend [22 F] for a few months now, how should I deal with her leaving me "alone in the rain" more then once? | Hey there fellow redditors,
I got a question for you and its - how to deal with this one friend of mine. This friend of mine who seems to always leaves me alone. We make plans to meet up and she does not show up.
Worse part is she doesnt even answer her phone most of the time so I start to drive to her home to check on her and she is not there - next thing you know is sitting on your own bed worrying about what could have happend to her. Next day you find out she has just been with another random guy she knows for a few days and sleept at his place...
This is just one of many examples and not the first time something like this happened - just last week i was left standing 1 hour in the rain waiting for her infront of a bar..
We've been really good friends for 6 years now but I feel like I m the only one who is interested in the friendship. She didnt always leave me alone at dates it all went downhill after that one situation in a bar.
She tried to kiss me once 2 years ago but I didnt go for it because it didnt feel right at the time - you know we were both drinking cocktails and I wouldnt want a first kiss to be a drunk one. I really dont know what to do honestly so I m asking you.
----
Anyone of you with kind of the same problem? How did you deal with it? How would you deal with my situation? | Friendship with a girl for a few years - nearly kissed - went downhill after - kinda awkward situation still 2 years after - sets up dates with me doesnt come to them |
t3_4hysul | relationships | I [28F] am thinking of breaking up with my husband [32M] but I don't know if it's the right choice | We got together in college - my first long term relationship. He is the first/only person I've slept with. We've been together 10+ years (married for a few of those) but I think I stayed with him because I love him as a best friend and as a person, but not as a lover/husband.
He's generally a great guy (no abuse, no cheating) but there's no spark from my end and there hasn't been in a long, long while. Our interests are similar but they've drifted more and more apart over the years. It's a lot of me trying to get him to do things that he says he likes but won't actually initiate.
I don't look forward to having sex (despite a lot of effort on both our parts to help this for the past 1-2 years). And now little things are starting to drive me nuts. I'm feeling trapped and I don't want to think about kids with this person if this is how I feel.
I thought this might just be what happened in a relationship when you've been together a while but I also suspect that I should have explored more before committing. I found someone who seemed like the 'nice guy' and a 'good guy' but I don't think he's the right husband.
This has been brewing for a year or more and it was really pushed forward by the fact that I just reconnected with an old friend who admitted a crush on me. Just talking to this guy makes me knees weak - I had no idea what that meant before him. I'm well aware that I can't break off my marriage for this random other guy where things might or might not work out in the future - it's just a currently complicating matter. I was beginning to feel like I'd never *feel anything* for anyone again.
Is it terrible to leave a marriage for the reasons above? Is this a dumb choice? The idea of being single makes me feel excited/hopeful. I feel like a really terrible person. | I think I've fallen out of love with my husband but I don't know if that's a good enough reason to end the marriage |
t3_34sqsj | relationships | Me [19 M] wondering if there is any more relationship or not, or any hope of one, with my friend [19 F], from college. Military and college is making it geographically difficult. Think I'm in love. What am I doing? | Hi. I am a male, and I am having issues with my own feelings and a friend of mine.
So, background, she and I started dating last year a bit, and have known each other since the year before that. We get along, laugh with each other, hang out, etc. etc., met in college. Fast forward to the end of our relationship last year... The reason for this end was because she was going to transfer to a new university in the north of the state, and I was going into the Navy.
I now leave for the Navy this month, enlisted, with plans to use the Navy to pay for my degree (the aformentioned lady is paying for hers with a combination of her Mom + her Dad's GI Bill.) I originally broke up because we were going to be separated, but I never really stopped caring about her very deeply. The feeling has not gone away, but instead it has been joined by the feeling of missing her greatly.
She just recently asked me about how I felt about her and I told her, and I don't know if she has feelings for me anymore, but when we broke up it was not very happy. She cried, I think I teared up a bit, and apparently - I just found this out the other evening as we were messaging each other - she thought I didn't want a relationship. I informed her that I simply didn't know how to do this with us being geographically challenged, so to speak.
I am wondering, is there any way to have a relationship with her? I have never felt this interested in someone and don't really know what I feel, and I don't know how to make the geography work. I'm not very experienced at this. Should I just try to move on, and ignore what I feel? And no, she's not seeing anybody else currently. Has anybody had a similar situation and can share their story a little bit? | She went to college, I went into the Navy, I still have feelings, think I'm in love, never felt this way before. What do? |
t3_122305 | AskReddit | Finally got the courage to talk to a girl I see every day at my campus. Turns out she, or he, was a transvestite. What's a big fuck you that life has given you before? | Finally got the courage one day to talk to a girl I see around campus alot. I never do something like that, real shy guy here. Anyways, she's in my Bio class so I thought the best way to start a conversation was to ask for help with that. Everything was going fine, she was actually really nice. At the end of our conversation I ask for her number. She's writes it down, hands me it, and walks away. I look at it to put the number in my phone book. Its said "Alexander" with her number in the bottom. Thought that was a weird name for a girl but I ignored it. Started texting her. Hitting it off pretty well, she seems interested. Next day she adds me on Facebook and I start snooping a bit. Found out she is a he. And that he could pull off a really good she. So after mustering up the courage to talk to a girl I've never met, she turns out to be a she. So much for going out of my comfort zone. | Finally got courage to talk to a girl. She turns out to be a he. He thinks I'm gay and interested now. |
t3_2kao9u | relationship_advice | [24M] I have been dating my girlfriend [21F] for just over 4 months and she wants "space" now. | We have been dating for 4 months and everything has been wonderful, we get along so well and I really thought we were perfect together. I love her and her son. Two weeks ago her close friend lost her baby and It really hit my gf hard. There have been a few other events happening in her life that have really stressed/depressed her and things started to get distant between us so I broke down and asked if everything was ok between us(which I feel like was a huge mistake now but I had to know, it was eating me up). She insisted that there wasn't anything I did or didn't do that upset her and she loved me but her mind has just been going nonstop about everything else. Fast forward a week later and she now needs time alone (we were seeing each other pretty much everyday for the past month). She said she doesn't want to end the relationship but just needs time alone to figure out what is making her unhappy, I haven't seen her in 4 days and miss her terribly. In my head I'm thinking that she is done with the relationship and I should start bracing for the worst. Through out this whole time of her being distant and needing space she still sent texts to me every morning and we have talked every night, I have no idea how to proceed, I want to respect her wish for space but she is initiating conversations every day, I want to tell her how much I miss her and want to see her but I don't want her feeling terrible because I'm a mess. | Girlfriend wants space yet still talks to me everyday and doesn't want to end the relationship. Do I cut off all contact, keep being patient, or do I tell her how much I miss her and how torn up I am? |
t3_4ka0ky | relationship_advice | [M 19, F 22] Past 2nd Date and no physical contact AT ALL | So if you've read my previous posts, you already know the story. For everybody else, here's a quick conclusion:
---
I've met a girl at my university who seems to be quite shy (I myself am aswell) and I asked her out for a date. She agreed and last week we met for a coffee. It was somehow awkward because it was my first date (ever), maybe hers aswell. We somehow got to know each other a little bit, but there were a lot of pauses and we eventually went home because of that (not a good sign, I know). Positive thing was, she already suggested me a good time for this week where we could meet.
---
However, today I met her again and conversation-wise it went pretty good. She only had 1.5 hours time, and we managed to talk all the time without any pauses. It felt like I could have asked her questions for at least another hour of conversation when she had to go. (Just for understanding, we went for a simple walk because it was sunny)
The only problem I currently have is that there has been no physical contact AT ALL by now. Neighter me touching her arm nor a welcome hug. It really bothers me because I think it really keeps a lot of distance between us. I am not saying that I expected to kiss her today, but not even touching her once in any way is a bit harsh.
I know that a reason (probably the biggest one) for that might be me being too careful / over politely. I am not sure though how I can overcome this barrier as she seems so far away from me and just hugging her for goodbye somehow seems wrong. She seems to have interest though, as we already cleared a date for next week.
Does anybody have any help or a method how I can overcome the distance (which is feelable in our conversations)? Thanks a lot. | I am dating a girl and we haven't had any physical contact yet, which creates a lot of distance between us. |
t3_4z0wf6 | relationships | I [21M] feel conflicted about talking to someone new so soon after a break-up. | I split up with my ex [19F] 4 weeks ago. We were together for around 9 months. She was dealing with extreme depression and when I finally talked to her about how it was negatively affecting me , she took that as me not wanting to help her any more. She ended it and I was heartbroken. I spent that relationship totally devoted to her and we often talked about what our futures would be. The break up came out of the blue and I felt betrayed as I had been helping her with her depression for months and as soon as I opened up to her, she couldn't handle it.
Anyway
I've been spending time with family and just generally enjoying my own company again. Spending time on my hobbies, just the usual post-breakup activities that help a person move on.
In the last few days, I connected with a girl [20F] who is a friend of a friend, we haven't met before. We have been talking regularly and have each other on Snapchat. She's really pretty, funny and easy to talk to, and wants to meet up this Friday for a drink.
I feel super conflicted about this. Part of me wants to meet her just to see what happens but I also don't want to go because...what if I end up liking her? Will I like her because of who she is or will she simply be filling the space that was my ex?
Should I meet her? Is there a standard about of time after a relationship that someone should wait before talking to someone new? | recently split from ex. talking to new girl. don't know whether to meet as I don't just want to 'carry on' my previous relationship with someone else. |
t3_4whvjj | relationships | People think I'm [23/M] either trans or gay because I choose female characters/avatars in video games | I'm a straight guy. I feel perfectly comfortable being a man and do not have any desires to become a woman in real life nor do I have any desires to be with another man.
When I play games, I like to choose female characters. Especially when you have to create your own characters. It's just more fun o play as a female character. I don't feel the need to "relate" to my avatar, I enjoy the fantasy aspect of it just being fantasy and nothing to do with real life.
My friends used to make fun of me in the beginning with games like World of Warcraft many years ago. It didn't bother me one bit cause that's how we all treat each other, we make fun of each other and tease each other and it was all fun and good.
However, with the recent Pokemon GO app things have turned weird. I picked a female avatar like I always do and some of my friends who usually don't play games started playing as well. They found it weird that I had a female avatar. Some of them started asking me intimate questions like "are you feeling okay with your gender?" or do you have any problems that you are too ashamed to mention? They all refer to my avatar and how strange it is. I keep denying it but they never believe me. What can I tell them? | I like having female avatars in video games. People don't get it and thing I want to change my gender or question my sexuality. |
t3_18tn9b | relationships | I (24M) have been dating my gf (24F) for almost exactly 1.5 years. Is this too soon to move in together? | We have just recently been talking about her coming to my city (a little over an hour drive between us). She is going to try and get a transfer at her job aiming for a Fall 2013 time frame.
We had discussed this in generalities a little after the 1 year mark, but now that its "on" if you will, I've been thinking about telling other people, and wondering if this is too soon. I love her, I think we are a great fit, we agree on many big important life issues, so I don't really know why I'm thinking this, I'm doubting my own judgement of the situation or something? I don't know.
I had two 2.5 year relationships before this, this would be my first time moving in with a gf. I don't really know what I'm asking for here, I guess given my description of the situation, if I were to come up to you and tell you this, would you think its too soon? | see the title. Doubting my judgement for reasons I am not sure of. Given ages and length of relationship, do you think this is an appropriate length of time to date before moving in? |
t3_3wmo49 | relationships | Me [26M] with my GF [25 M/F] 6 years, living 300 miles apart. | I'm an engineer (obvious b/c username) who graduated college a year ago and moved to my new job. My GF and I had been living apart already (about 70 miles) and got to see each other most weekends. Now we see each other maybe once a month. She's a great person and a great girlfriend, and I have no complaints. Our relationship is mature enough to move to the next step, but I have a problem.
She's got a job she really likes working for a medium-size company in corporate training. I have a job I really like working in a power plant. I tried to land a job closer to her, but ended up taking this job because it's in the industry I want to be in. I don't want to uproot her, and I'm also concerned about her finding a job here if she does move here. She also doesn't want to move here (though she says she would if we got married, I know she wouldn't want to leave her state).
So clearly I need to be the one to find a new job. This week she met a technical headhunter and sent me a picture of the business card, so clearly she's in favor of me moving. I have only two concerns: first that I am nervous about leaving a job I really like for an unknown (unless I do manage to find a job in generation. I've had a couple positions in that industry and find it to my liking) Second, that I'll somehow harbor resentment for her if things don't work out long-term for my career. I have the more marketable degree and a chance to make a lot more money than her, and I also had to bust ass to get my degree. A selfish part of me thinks that all of that means that I shouldn't have to change jobs for her. | I moved far away. She doesn't like it. She wants a ring, and I want to give her one. Should I move back to her at the risk of harming my career? |
t3_1g2g17 | relationships | Me[25/F] with my husband [27/M] for 5 years. Fighting a lot over the past year. Today had another fight he stormed out of the house. | Me[25/F] with my husband [27/M] for 5 years. The particular fight that happened today is so stupid, but I just need some perspective on this.
He came home from work. We agreed earlier in the day that we were going to watch game of thrones together at 7pm. I started cooking at 6 or so. As soon he came home (after cycling) went to his study and went on the internet. I jokingly reminded him that we will watch the episode and told him that food will be ready by 7. He said ok and turned back to his computer. I didn't want to remind him again later. 7 o'clock came and went and he was still upstairs. By 8 I gave up and went to the shop. When I got home I was quite sad/annoyed and he came downstairs. He than got annoyed that I didn't call him that food was ready.
I am annoyed that he just sits on the internet and didnt even bother checking time or coming down. I didnt ask him to help cook or anything else, just that we start watching tv at 7 as otherwise it gets late and we both get tired. He has stormed off after I said that the food is cold etc
What do you make of this silly situation? | Me[25/F] with my husband [27/M] for 5 years, has a stupid fight tonight. Just need some advice. |
t3_54beb4 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my "ex" [29 M] 2M, is it too soon to send a friendly text after we stopped dating? | Me and this guy were dating for 2 months, towards the end we just stopped seeing/ texting each other as often and then eventually we sort of tacitly acknowledged it was over (romantically) without explicitly saying it. He had said he wasn't ready for a relationship halfway through but said we could remain friends if things ended (don't know if he was just being nice?)
I was sad the first few days but kept myself busy and it was only two months so I was quick to move on, even though I still wish things had worked out. Today I suddenly thought of him and was gonna send a text saying that I wish things had worked out but it was still a pleasure getting to know him, and that we could still be friends, but I stopped and wondered if it was too soon? It's been 2 weeks since we last saw each other and 1 and a half weeks since our last text. | I've moved on from this great guy I dated because we broke up over things out of our control, am thinking of sending a "it was great getting to know you" text but wonder if it's too soon? |
t3_3yhb16 | relationships | My [23 M] extremely mixed ethnicity/race keeps causing women to lose interest | So my heritage is very diverse. My Mother and Father are both of mixed race so I came out even more mixed than the average mixed guy (MORE MIXED THAN A MIX TAPE). I don't really fit in with any "racial look" I don't look White, Black, Mexican or anything in particular.
Its not always the case but every time I try to pursue a girl it seems to be mentioned. Asian women say I'm too dark and want an Asian or White man, Black women say I'm too light and want an actual black man etc. Pretty much any relationships I try to pursue seem ended based upon my lack of an ethnic look or "not being their type".
I'm a decent looking guy and in good shape, physically and financially. Hooking up isn't hard, but I don't really enjoy that and want a legitimate relationship. I know not every girl is racist and I've met plenty of girls who don't care about my lack of a Racial Identity. I just feel like its occurred often enough that its really starting to mess with my head (and self-esteem).
Sometimes I try and really play off as being one race. But I always feel like I end up lying to myself, attempting to be something I'm not. I always felt like I was left out of things as a kid, I never see people who look like me on TV. Its an issue that is very personal for me but is always thrown in my face...
At this point I'd really like to know if anyone else has, or knows someone who has this problem. I would really be grateful for some insight on the matter. | I am Mixed Race, don't look like any race in particular. Numerous cases of Women not being interested in me because I don't fit a preconceived racial look, or "not their type". Would appreciate some words of wisdom. |
t3_12894f | Advice | Feeling rushed to make a life changing decision... | I have no idea what to do with myself anymore.
I graduated highschool in fall 2011, (so if i had gone straight to college, i would currently be in my second year.) and began working full time and saving my money. I chose to use that money to move to a non-english-speaking European country where I have some family.
I love it here, but I am struggling so much to be happy with my life. When i came I took a language course, which i absolutely hated. I finished it, and began looking for a job. No luck. Everyday is spent in front of the computer or out doing errands. I'm living off of money from the state. I don't have a life here. I don't have friends. i DO have a wonderful boyfriend who I love very very much but he is all I have. I'm starting to feel like I need to end things with him in order to move on with my life, go to school, work, etc. He is the only thing holding me here, next to my desire for me living in this country permanently.
I just don't know what to do. i have options, but I am stuck.
-Leave boyfriend, move back to the states, get job back & go to college
-take more expensive language courses (which again, i hated the courses (love the language)), while continuing to live off of welfare, once my language is up to par, (in a year or two...) go to school/get job.
I want my life in this country to work SO badly! I always said i would live here as a kid, and I don't want to give up on it. But I'm starting too, and i don't know how to get motivated again!
i KNOW this seems like it would be an easy decision but it really isnt. I'm just falling back in to depression and I just want to give up on everything.
I would just love an outsider's view on my situation. | Should i leave my boyfriend to start studying back in America or should i stay and pursue the language here and then start studying here? |
t3_2uxpdl | relationships | Me [17 M] very tired of rejection, need advice. | I'll preface this by giving a little background of...
Past self: For the majority of my life (up until the age of 15) I was over weight and very unconfident. I had trouble even holding conversations with girls.
Current self: I am not going to say I am some sort of Arnold Schwarzenegger but I have become quite "ripped". I no longer have any confidence issues, in fact, I have become extremely confident in myself and have literally zero issues talking to girls. In fact, without going into detail, I had a nice amount of "female interaction" these past two years.
The issue: So to get right to the point, I really don't have any problems when it comes to hooking up with girls but I have never had a real GF. I've asked out more girls than I can count over the years, and every time I've been rejected (there is one outlier but that ended up not working out quite fast).
Almost all of my friends have had steady relationships, and the ones who haven't, simply rarely if ever made any attempt at it.
The reason I'm making this post is because I actually got a date to prom (which lasted about a week before she decided that she simply won't be going to prom anymore). I recently asked a girl who I was quite close to, who I thought was showing me positive signals, who rejected me... again.
I want to reiterate that I'm not some sort of awkward kid who doesn't have the gall to even ask a girl out. I have many friends who are girls, and have the occasional hook up, but for the life of me can't get a real girl friend and I'm scared this will drag on into the future. | Confident and "good-looking", but for the life of me cant get anything more than a "hook-up". I need advice. |
t3_2cd603 | relationships | Me [22 F] Him [22 M] Confused? What are his motives? | So me and this guy have mutual friends and decided to follow each other on twitter a while ago and often tweeted here and there. Recently he saw me shopping at his store and he messaged me to say he had seen me. From here conversation started flowing and we got talking a lot more. We eventually established we had various mutual friends and had a lot in common.
We swapped numbers and have been texting for just over a week now. But he seems to be popular with the ladies and it seems as though he has many girls in his life. We have conversations about random things and often joke around, sometimes his replies are frequent but often our conversations tend to die because he reads the message but just doesn't reply? But then he will come back after a few hours to restart the conversation?
He seems really nice but I don't really know what his actual motives are? Maybe he's just a nice person whose nice to everyone? Am I just another girl amongst his many others? Or is it too soon to jump to conclusions? I'm not entirely sure how to approach the situation maybe I should just go along with the flow? | Got speaking to this guy, conversations often flow but often die. Am I just another girl amongst the others or is there something more? What are his actual motives? Thank you for any advice :) |
t3_12jugv | Advice | Roommate moved out and is being a scumbag steve when it comes to collected rent he owes me and finding a new leaser, what I should I do? | So my roommate up and "moved out" in the middle of October. I put moved out in quotes because all of his shit is still here, he just moved back to his parents and took his clothes with him. He owes me for all of October's rent and utilities and the way I see it as long as his shit is in my apartment he owes me for November's rent as well. He hasn't signed a sublease document either so technically he is still on the lease agreement? Should I start one of those ASAP, although I believe he stays on the lease agreement until everyone signs it including a new leaser. I saw him at a halloween party and he paid me $100 which is only 1/8 of what he owes me and agreed he would get the rest. However he ducks my calls and ignores my texts. I've resorted to calling him out on twitter and facebook which upsets him greatly lol. I'm thinking about going to his parents to collect his money. Are there any other ways to collect my money, legal if necessary? I've thought about selling his shit on craigslist/ebay to get my money back, is that legal? Can I throw his shit out of the apartment? He only lived here for 2 months and was shady as fuck and now he owes me nearly $800 and its ridiculous. Best part is, is that this kid wants to be a cop someday...pathetic. So reddit what are ways I can collect my money(he is so shady I don't know if I would be able to stalk/track him down)? I am willing to resort to drastic measures. Or if you just have creative ways to get back at him I'm all for that too lol. | My roommate moved out and owes me $800, what r ways to collect my money or simply get back at him? |
t3_2ltlxw | relationships | Me [15 M] with my girlfriend [14F] seven months, can't talk or see each other because of her parents. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for about seven months now and things have been going relatively smoothly. My parents don't mind me being in a relationship. Her parents, however, are extremely against her being in one - which I understand. This means that we've had to keep it a secret this entire time. She's a grade below me so she still goes to the middle school while i'm in my first year of highschool. She has to tell her parents she's going to her friend's house any time we want to hang out, and we can only see eachother for a short amount of time maybe once or twice a week.
Now, we can deal with that. We have skype to talk on and everything. Except she just told me her parents found out that she has a boyfriend and they're pissed. She's failing math on top of that and they think that it's because she's dating me (???). Before she got her phone taken she told me that we're probably only gonna be able to talk every few days for a short amount of time, and that we aren't going to be able to see each other for a really long time. This sucks. I understand that it's a petty teenager problem, but it's a big deal to me and i'd love some advice. I don't really want to break up but I don't know what to do. | My girlfriend of seven months has strict parents. We only see each other twice a week at most but that's been limited to zero as her parents just found out. |
t3_2kvk4s | relationships | Boyfriend (21) has really weird off days | My boyfriend will have days where he is feeling down and I (21 f) won't hear from him all day until late. It hurts me to feel that he can't warn me that he needs time alone but worse that he feels he cannot talk with me about it. Is it normal for guys or introverts to be like this? I just feel like he never shares any feelings with me unless they are romantic, but if our relationship is serious and we want it to last, shouldn't he be able to be open with me about how he feels? Maybe I could try to cheer him up? He has cheered me up before when I was really sad. I mean if we were to move in together/get married, is he just going to hide from me when he is feeling low? We are in a long distance relationship so the phone is really the only way we have to communicate, and we have been so busy lately our communication has already been strained. I tried to bring it up to him and he said he was drained, but I am thinking 'all day? Why not take a nap then?'. We have been together for about 6 months but have dated before over a year ago. We are in a long-distance relationship and don't talk often anyway, so not hearing from him for like 6 or 7 hours AND not being warned that he just needs time alone puts me in the dark. We see each other one day about twice a month so he shouldn't feel smothered. | Is it healthy or normal to have a partner who secludes himself from you all day when he is having a bad day? |
t3_33158l | relationships | Me [23F] with my long-term boyfriend [24M] of 1.5 years; I might want to break up with him but can't imagine breaking his heart. | My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. I am genuinely happy in this relationship, and I know he is too. However, there are certain factors that make me think this can't last forever (e.g. different outlook on finances, different maturity level, different goals for our future). I don't think he sees any of these differences as dealbreakers, but I'm starting to think they are. I guess the best sum-up is that he's a wonderful boyfriend but I'm questioning whether I can really see him as a wonderful husband. (And to this I can say I think he's a wonderful person, so he'll make a wonderful spouse to someone... I'm just wondering if it really should be me.)
Part of me just wonders if I'm hitting that point in the relationship where it's comfortable and stable, but I'm not ready to make a lifelong commitment, which has led me to find all the faults in our relationship.
I've never broken up with someone before, though, and the thought of doing it just tears me up inside. I still love and care for him so much, and I feel like this breakup would be completely unilateral. It would be so much easier to do if I thought the breakup would leave us both happier, but I feel like to him it would be devastating. He always says I'm the best part of his life and the best girlfriend he's ever had. I wish I could see that the breakup would be "better for us both" so I could justify it.
Another complicating factor is that we've been seriously considering moving in together when both of our leases are up. I'm not sure whether I should give this a chance or just end things before we get to that stage, since a breakup would be messier with a shared living situation. | I can't find the courage to break up with my boyfriend because I know it would break his heart. Does this mean I shouldn't break up with him? Or do I just need to find the courage? |
t3_10iw22 | Advice | [Canada] Legality of gay webcam sex between an 18-year-old and a 15-year-old? (Cross-Posted with LegalAdvice) | When I was 18, I met someone playing an online game. We had a ton of things in common, one of which is we were both gay. (We're also both Canadian.)
We started talking. Eventually, one thing led to another and we ended up jerking off on a webcam together. We both willingly did this a few times.
Eventually it occurred to me that I was jerking off with a minor, and might be illegal. Not wanting to end up on a sex-offenders list or spend any time in jail, I quickly ceased all communication with my friend.
Fast forward five years, my now 20-year-old friend manages to e-mail me. He says that he's thought about me a lot and thought I hated him.
So two questions:
Was the stuff I did on a webcam five years ago illegal?
Would it be OK for me (now 23) to renew communications with my friend? | Five years ago, 18M masturbated with a 15M male over a webcam. 18yo ceases communication in fear of legality. Five years later, now 20yo wants renew communications. Legal/Not Legal? |
t3_2ihcu0 | relationships | I [17 (almost 18) M] want my parents to trust me to drive to see my [18 F] girlfriend at her college | I apologize if this is not the right place to post this, or if this seems minor compared to other people's problems.
My girlfriend has extremely strict parents who rarely let her come home from college. I have been driving for over a year now, and I have never had an accident. The farthest I have driven is probably 45 minutes away. She lives an hour away, but it's basically a straight line on the highway. I asked my parents if I could drive up there for a few hours next weekend, and they said they know the kind of partying that happens at colleges, so no.
I am a pretty decent kid. I have never used drugs, drank, smoked, etc. My girlfriend never goes to parties, she always stays in her dorm studying. All I want to do is drive up there so she can show me around the campus, and maybe go to a movie or something while I'm there. I have friends with college girlfriends that drive 2 hours to see them, and their parents are fine with it.
I will be 18 in 2 weeks, but it feels like they are treating me like a child. I'll be in college myself next year. My mother offered to drive me there, and drop me off while she goes to a mall or something. This might sound okay, but I'm afraid that might make me seem immature or something, that I can't even drive myself there.
I thought maybe I could text a picture to my parents of where I am every hour, or something like that? Any advice would be awesome. | My parents are afraid of me driving such a long distance to a college to visit my girlfriend, where some people choose to party at. |
t3_3f5ko7 | relationship_advice | Is it weird for me (38 M, married) to ask opposite gender friend (35 F, attached) if she would have gone out with me in the past? | Hi guys! Apologies in advance for the long post:
I want to ask a very close, opposite gender friend the following question: "If we had met years ago, and we were both unattached, would you have gone out with me?"
I am a guy who has been happily married to a wife I love for ten years. About a month and a half ago I met a female coworker – let's call her "Kristen" – at a new job. We immediately hit it off; she is smart, literary, into the same music and books as me, and extremely attractive. I was very troubled by my feelings for the week after I met her. I found myself thinking about her more than my wife, and occasionally visualized us having sex. Very quickly, when my rationality kicked in, these thoughts stopped.
The relationship between Kristen and I has settled into a very close, but purely platonic, friendship. I truly believe that it was no hallmarks of an emotional affair: the sexual attraction is gone, and I don't hide any details of my friendship from my wife.
In high school and college, I was "friend zoned" by nearly every girl that I was romantically interested in. This had profound effects on my self-esteem. My wife, who I met in graduate school, was one of the first women to be romantically and sexual attracted to me. Obviously, I married her for other reasons, but that gave me a boost. It shouldn't matter, but I still have this nagging feeling that women don't find me "sexy" when they look at me. I know that's a potential red flag – but I'll deal with that later.
Before I ask her I would preface it by telling her that I am asking purely out of curiosity, and this has no bearing on the here and now. If I asked Kristen this question, I recognize that it would be purely to stroke my ego. Is this the kind of thing that would really freak out a woman and cause her to pull back on the friendship? | Would asking my opposite gender friend in a close platonic relationship if she would have dated me in the past really weird her out? |
t3_i5ifj | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm fighting a parking ticket in Columbus, OH. Any advice would be appreciated. | Good afternoon.
I parked on a cross street with High to go to a coffee shop. Most of the parallel spots had white "Permit Only" no parking signs AND red "No on Football Days Except Permit F" signs. However, three blocks down a spot had a handicapped sign.
After the handicapped spot were two signs, one with an arrow indicating before the sign= handicapped. The other sign was one of the red "Permit Only on Football Days".
Since it was a June Friday, I figured I'd be fine. I came back to a $40 ticket.
I've gotten out of a parking ticket at my college before by taking pictures of signs and arguing why they weren't clear. The person laughed and asked if I was going to be a lawyer- and then the ticket was waived anyway as my first "freebie" for that academic year.
Technically, there's a "Permit Only" sign in the very first block...but I plan to say that if my spot was Permit Only entirely, and not just for "football days", they needed a white sign there.
I plan to go in person to schedule my hearing, to be polite, have good eye contact, smile and all that to the people at the DMV who clearly hate their jobs. I feel about 50-50 confident I have a case and hopeless against the people whose job it is not to lose money. | There was no "permit only" sign, only a "permit only on football days" sign. I plan to take pictures and debate; snowball's chance in hell? |
t3_2qdezx | relationships | Me [21 M] with my (now ex) gf [20 F] of 5 months, feels I betrayed her trust, was I wrong? | My GF used to have a pretty serious eating disorder, one that she thought she was done with. She very recently relapsed, and I was very worried about her. She had only ever told me and her ex about this disorder, and I wasn't really sure how to handle it. I knew my father had at one point been in a similar situation, and I wanted his opinion on how to approach the situation. I spoke to him at length about it, and then relayed his advice to my gf.
Suffice it to say, things exploded. She broke up with me on the spot and feels she can no longer trust me. I have convinced her to get help, but it kills me knowing that she doesn't trust me enough to be by her side while she does it. I know that she is emotionally in a pretty bad spot right now, and I know that she thinks this was a betrayal of her trust. Obviously, ultimately she has the final say in what is and isn't a betrayal, but I didn't think this would happen. I just really wanted what's best for her, and now it seems what's best for her is for me to leave her alone and hope that once she's gotten help, she can forgive me. | Gf has eating disorder, asked someone for advice, gf feels she can no longer trust me. Did I do the right thing? |
t3_2csnyn | relationships | I [26M] am dating/have a FWB [26F] for 2 months, knew she had intentions of moving away before we started dating but unsure of how to go about bringing up if things have changed. | I'll try to keep it short. We have been in the same circle of friends for a few years and recently moved to apartments in the same complex. I was dating someone when we met, she hooked up with one of our other friends for awhile, who moved away, but there has always been some positive tension between us. Eventually both uninvolved with anyone for awhile and a night of dancing and making out turns into sex and we have been hooking up exclusively ever since. And it's been awesome. We click well in the bedroom, the kind of sex that I can tell will only get better the more comfortable we get with each other. We also spend time together outside of the bedroom, alone and with our group of friends and talk throughout a good part of the day. She is different from any girl I've dated before and I really like her. Haven't had that nervous, excited feeling around a girl in awhile.
But I feel like the thought of her potentially moving away is kinda hanging over us (or at least me). She seemed pretty set on moving when she mentioned it before we started hooking up, but some friends who are close to both of us have told me she's expressed uncertainty as to what she is going to do recently. Obviously, I know the answer is bring it up and talk about it, I just need some direction on how to do that. Is it on her to bring it up and I should just wait? Is it on me? I really want her to just follow her heart and do what will make her happy. I'm not sure how to express that without seeming too passive, because I also hope she stays and gives us a chance to see what could come of us. We've been dating for 2 months and I'm not sure what time frame is right to bring it up (if I'm the one that should) without feeling like it's too soon to be talking about what kind of effect "we" might have on a decision such as moving across the country. | Dating a girl who had plans beforehand to move away, have heard she is now uncertain, but unsure of how to bring it up casually and maturely. Am nervous. |
t3_2twxr3 | relationships | Me [21F] and my Partner [24M] just moved and our Neighbor [55ish M] of three days is making us very uncomfortable. | My partner and I just moved into a unit three days ago which is in a block of 5 (in a row). On the day we moved in, we met two people who lived in the complex and we were polite and talked to them.
The first night we were there, my partner and I went outside and were standing near our car out the front when one of the neighbors (50ish German guy) walked past. It was obvious he wanted to say something to us so we said a polite hello. He started talking to us about himself and kept talking for about 20 minutes, of which neither my partner or I got a word in basically. We thought it was kinda odd but I said he was probably just lonely.
Yesterday we were sitting outside when the same guy comes up to us again and starts talking, tells us all sorts of things about how he has depression and about money problems and asks us if he can get his guitar and play us a song. It was weird but we didn't want to be impolite so let him do it. I eventually went inside and called out to my partner that I needed his help with something to get this guy to go away because he didn't understand we didn't want to hang out.
**So here is the real issue.**
A couple of hours later I was outside alone, sitting on one of our outdoor chairs when the guy comes up to me and asks to speak to my partner. I told him my partner was busy and couldn't come out and asked what he wanted. He gave me this huge tirade about money and rent increases and ended up asking if we could give him money. I said sorry but no and he glared at me, said nothing and stormed off.
I know this doesn't sound like much but It made me extremely uncomfortable. It seems seriously strange that this guy would ask me for money when I don't even know him and just moved in three days ago. The glare he gave me made me feel intimidated and I feel like I have to do something about this as I don't want to be outside by my self anymore.
Is this something I should tell the real estate about or something? | Partner and I just moved into a unit block three days ago, neighbor is very strange and wont stop talking to us. Asked me for money and intimidated me. Feeling very uncomfortable and don't know what to do. |
t3_1w7z04 | relationships | I [20 M] with my [18 F] girlfriend have military problems and other complications. | Hi guys, don't know where to turn or who to talk to. I just have to let it out for somebody to know. First off we've been dating for a year and a month (half of it being long distance). Just this month I get all this drama that she cheated on me and it looks really bad in her favor. She denies it completely and after all of that trust was built up for a year I feel like I have to believe her. I break up with her after it all went down then I cannot stop thinking about her for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks I decide it's time to give it a shot and try to believe her. We talk about it more and I feel better. I still think about it sometimes but try to avoid it and believe her completely.
Now we get in this conversation today that has me really torn. She is in the National Guard and I'm in the Air Force. She has to go boot camp this summer and be gone for 5 months. Then when she gets back we get 2 month together then she leaves for college. I'm currently in college about 3 hours away. Then I graduate in two more semesters and get commissioned as an Officer where I will get stationed somewhere far away. She says she'll move with me and go where I go.
The trust in the relationship is kind of low but I still have feelings for her. She gets mad a lot and I put up with it but when we she's in a good mood, I am. We have lots of fun together, but with all of this stuff weighing down on our relationship idk how it will go. We're also really young and have lots of future ahead of us. I have to make a decision soon because I don't want to break up right before it and I don't want to break up during it. Idk what to do at all really. I just feel so lost and broken and I just really need somebody else to tell me something or ask the right questions. I'm being a little bitch about it and keep crying. | Had problems with cheating and tried to rekindle. Now she is going to boot camp for 5 months and lots of long distance ahead. |
t3_pc20r | AskReddit | I'm in a position to hire my friend or to hire someone with more experience. What should I do? | So, I just graduated from college and I'm working in IT for a University. In less than a year I've been promoted twice and I am now team leader of a team of one. So, I need to hire someone to help me reduce my workload.
My friend, who I met in college and we went through almost every single programming course together, has always stuck by and helped me with social skills. From taking me to parties to meeting girls, etc. He is a good guy, but he doesn't seem to show a lot of motivation to learn new things. If given a task, he will complete it and complete it well, but if the job is not properly described, his performance can be difficult to predict. While at work, he shows eagerness to learn and I'm sure I could use that, but once outside he does not read up or practice new skills on his own.
On the other hand, I would like to hire someone with experience because even though I'm a team leader, I'm still fresh out of college and I would like to work with someone who knows more than I do or with someone who can teach me a thing or two. Bringing in someone experienced will also help me be more productive.
I've looked and asked for advice and many people tell me to not hire a friend because it will end the friendship. Is that right? He already knows I'm in a position to hire someone because I stupidly told him. I feel like I already made my mind to not hire him, but if I tell him it's to preserve our friendship, I fear that he will resent me. What should I do?
The other side of the coin are my bosses' perspective. My friend works with my previous team leader, who is seriously overworked. If I take yet another resource from his team, he might go mental. His boss, the director of our area, wants me to hire my friend, but she keeps forgetting that he is my friend. I feel like she is only saying that because she wants to reduce the wages budget and not go through the hassle of bringing someone new.
/r/AskReddit, any advice you have would be greatly appreciated! | I got promoted and can now hire someone new. Should I hire my friend to help him out, or should I bring someone with experience to help myself out. |
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