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t3_2w7aot | relationship_advice | I [24/m] got drunk and acted like a complete idiot (story in descrip). My girlfriend [21/f] of almost two years is completely freaked out and "needs time to process it" Please help | My girlfriend and I rarely ever fight. When we do, it's almost always just a disagreement and it's fine the next day. However, this past weekend we went out drinking after a friend's wedding and although we had an amazing time, when we got back to the hotel all hell broke loose. We were laying in bed talking and she said something about not holding her down (I was somewhat on top of her hoping to lead into sex) and that she hated it because of her childhood. Well, I had never heard her say that it had anything to do with her childhood in the almost 2 years that we've been together so I immediately concluded she was talking about some form of molestation in her younger years. To make a very very long story short, I starting bombarding her with questions wanting her to tell me what happened and she refused. I (remember, I'm really drunk and now realize how stupid this was) took this as an insult to her trust in me and started acting like a complete asshole by doing the one thing she specifically asked me not to do and holding onto her asking her to tell me. She beacme really scared which then turned into extreme anger because I wouldn't drop it. We have literally never had any sort of debacle like this and now she has told me that she needs time to think about everything that happened. I've told her how sorry I am, how much she means to me, and how much of an asshole I was but I'm really starting to freak out because I don't know what I'll do if she leaves me. I also don't know what to think about my behavior because this is the first instance that I have EVER become aggressive when drunk. I don't want to bother her if she needs time to think about it but I'm finding it impossible to not text her | I got drunk and acted aggressively to my girlfriend (which I've never done to anybody in my life) and now she's freaked out and needs time to think about everything. I'm finding it pretty impossible to not contact her |
t3_1z0v8j | dating_advice | 17M about to take 16F on a date saturday, pretty much first date. | Hey.
So i have a good friend that told me that i would go well with her sister some months ago.
My friend reported me that her sister is interested in me. So finally (couldn't do it earlier because i had some problems) today i added her on facebook talked a little and skipped some steps , like i invited her to a movie too fast i think , we didn't really talk much.
But she's okay with the movie but i was thinking afterwards to help us know more about each other maybe go to eat something or drink something before the movie. I was thinking about going for a small drink before the movie?
I'm the sort of person that usually is the first one to make a step to make friends or even a date.
So yea that's my first real date and pretty much the first time i'm trying find someone for me. so i'm trying to find some little help, so...
So yea i believe i shouldn't go this fast, we don't really know each other and i'm already taking her to movie, but oh well i can fix that before or after the movie.
Should i pay her ticket ? i have some friends that's says yes , some says no.. i don't really care about paying, it's just maybe it's too much to pay for the first date?
During the movie should i make any move? i'm not type of guy that usually makes the first step in anything , it's sort of i respect to much anyone or a girl to already be close to her on a first date.
After the movie, what's happening?
I've never seen her in person but she lives not that far of my house so it's sort of a plus if the date is going good. | Expecting i will fail the date because i'm the type that is too scared to make moves, knows absolutely nothing about dates => What should i do? |
t3_1p9ci9 | relationship_advice | I [38/m] found my wife's [37/f] see through lingerie in the laundry...should I be concerned? | A little background. My wife and I, married four years, have always trusted each other. We have two children, both under 4. Life has been extremely hectic with raising them, both of us working fulltime, finances, etc. Therefore, there hasn't been a whole lot of time for intimacy for the past year or so. Basically, life has become very serious with very little fun for the two of us. Only when we're with the boys. We do go on dates with each other, but the romantic connection isn't there like it used to be.
Last week, she told me she had to work late after work. Late meaning she got home at 8:30 PM, when before working late meant no later than 5:30 maybe 6. She hasn't been complaining about work as much lately. Well, today while folding laundry, I found see through black lace Victoria Secret panties with small pinkbows on them in the laundry. She didn't wear them with me. Last time I saw her wearing them was when she was with me maybe a year ago or so. The only panties I've ever seen in the laundry are her everyday panties. The only reason I'm concerned is because I found them in the laundry today and she had that late meeting on Wednesday of last week. Is this something I should be concerned about? Are there circumstances when women wear sexy lingerie for comfort? | Found my wife's Victoria's Secret Sexy Little Things see through lace panties in the laundry today after she'd told me she had to work late last week. She didn't wear them with me. Wondering if I should be concerned? |
t3_2t4fs3 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [23 F], 2 years. Knowing when to end a relationship when 'nothing is wrong' | Been with my gf for almost 2 years. Basically it's getting to the point where I should be deciding if this could be a lifelong thing. I never really had a plan to begin with. She is the only gf I've ever had so naturally I have hardcore 'grass is greener' syndrome. I'm also probably annoyingly rational (i.e. insensitive when it comes to emotional topics), and recognize that that characteristic is deadly when it comes to relationships. I find myself constantly focusing on her flaws. I actually wrote a huge pros/cons list and they about balanced out. (immediately destroyed that list...). My biggest pros are that she is
- curious
- rational (i.e. puts up with my pedantic/pseudo-intellectual explanations)
- easy going/flexible (does not complain and happily goes with the flow)
- she is beautiful
- well-read
- open-minded sexually.
The main cons are that she is
- a chronic procrastinator
- disorganized/messy (I feel like I have to be her dad sometimes)
- not driven creatively (no art/music/writing)
- and no interesting hobbies (basically just watching lame TV shows and drinking wine).
Sometimes I imagine myself with someone who is highly motivated and driven, has many cool hobbies etc., and getting tired trying to keep up and longing for a chill gf to kick back and watch a movie with. I'm just having a hard time figuring out what is truly important and compatible with me, and not what *I think should be important to me*. How do I go about figuring this out? She is absolutely in love with me, she's told me and I can tell because she tries hard to mask her poor qualities when around me. In a way it makes me uneasy knowing she is not 100% herself around me, because she knows it would repel me. But it's very subtle. | Not sure if my issues with my gf are real incompatibilities or mental self-sabotaging due to commitment issues and grass is greener syndrome. |
t3_1dw0fc | relationships | My girlfriend [F23] of three years is still having insecurity issues with me [M24] | I find myself [M24] and my girlfriend [F23] of three years still debating insecurity issues. Today we were talking on the phone about the possibility of me meeting up with some friends that I haven't seen in a few months at a bar. I rarely go out, and am a bit of a hermit. I like my own space and see my friends infrequently; though when I do decide to venture out I find myself having a good time.
When I brought the possibility of me going out sometime soon, she brought up the fact that all my (male) friends who would be attending are single. She voiced her opinion that she did not want me talking to other girls at the bar.
I then stated, that I will not engage any women intentionally, but I may have to talk to some strangers if my friends attempt to hook up with someone outside the group. Then she stated, that even if my friends were to start talking to women, she expected me to hang back by myself/leave the bar, essentially bailing on my friends for the night.
I told her that I'd hang back for a bit but if my group of friends is talking to a group of people then I'll probably at some point join them. I would introduce myself and in the beginning state I have a girlfriend to prevent any future misunderstandings. I'd only let them be, if I felt they had a chance of going home with a woman/if they were all talking one on one to their potential "dates" for the night. Still not good enough. I reached the end of my rope, and our conversation abruptly ended.
I feel like I'm treated like a child, that she doesn't trust me at all. I told her I loved her, and I don't want to talk to other people whatsoever, but it didn't change her opinion in the least. It seems there's nothing I can do to please her other than shunning my social life altogether. Is my girlfriends reaction common to other relationships? Or is she over the top?
My friends have big mouths, and if I say anything to them I'm afraid it'll get back to her. | My girlfriend doesn't want me speaking to anyone of the opposite sex when I go out to bars. Is her reaction over the top? |
t3_3cdpul | relationships | My friends [34f] 16 year old cat is dying. So is my mom and I don't give a crap about my friends cat. | She really wants me to call her and talk to her about her cat. I get that a pet dying sucks, especially one you've had for 16 years. I don't want to minimize her loss. I have dogs, I know it hurts like hell when they die.
But I haven't slept more than four hours in a row in a week. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed I'm thinking about everything I need to do to take care of my mom, take care of my dad, and keep the rest of the family informed. I'm at the hospital most of the day and when I'm at home I'm working out everything with insurance and hospice and managing friends and family. I'm frazzled. I sobbed in my best friends lap last night because we've only had my moms diagnoses for a week and I'm exhausted. Getting everything set up so she can die at home the way she wants is exhausting. She's already been sent back to the hospital once because we just don't have everything set up well enough for her yet. I don't have the time or energy to care about a dying cat.
I want to say something to her because...I don't know why. Because I've known her a long time, I helped her get the cat, and I feel like I should. But the first time she equates losing her cat with what I'm going through with my mom I'm going to lose it on her. | My friend wants me to care about her cat dying. My moms dying, so I don't. What do I say to her? |
t3_or1wz | AskReddit | Dear reddit, I have a moral dilemma and I want your advice. | throwaway account btw
To be both simple and easy to read, I'll start from where it started to where it is now. I hooked up with a close friend of mine of some years around the end of last summer. Now, I'm still with said person, but during the relationship I meet an older gentleman who happens to own some evening activities establishments. He seemed somewhat interested in me, took me out a few times, brought me in after hours to his establishments, even to his home. My partner encouraged the contact because this person is well-connected, and a great person to network with. Drama ensured because he's more successful. We had somewhat of a falling out over me being late to lunch. No contact for the longest time. Fast-forward to the present. I get a text from him. Sounds generic, like maybe he sent it to some people. Heres copy-censor pasta of it.
Hey there! You've been invited to a socialite-only event at "place" tonight. Show this text to the doorman to get open bar two times from 9-10, as we prepare for an fun A-list celebrity Saturday at "place"!
He sent this knowing I can't enter the establishment due to the age restriction. He still has my number. Truthfully, I knew he wanted to "get some." But I myself appear to want to use him. And my partner has no idea that I received this text. I feel like I'm missing an opportunity, but its really risky to play this game. Has anyone ever received a text like this from an establishment's owners' own phone? | guy i haven't talked to in a bit contacts me. successful, sexy, smart. i wanna use him for info, he wants poo-tang. partner can get hurt. way do |
t3_qhpjr | AskReddit | Redditors that have a GoPro camera or similar: Is the GoPro HD Hero2 currently the best camera of this style on the market? If not, what is better? Also, is now a good time to buy one? | I have been wanting to purchase a new point & shoot camera for a while, and the GoPro cameras have piqued my interest. A friend of mine just got one, and I am quite impressed with the still images it is able to take, let alone the videos. I think that buying a GoPro or similar camera is what I would like, but I don't know much about the market for these types of cameras. Are there others that are major players as well, and if so, what would make anything a more attractive choice than the GoPro brand?
Second, I am wondering if anyone who is more familiar with these cameras has any insight on whether or not I should wait for an upcoming product to be released rather than purchase one now. I realize that technology is constantly improving, and that there will more than likely be something at least a bit better in short order. I am asking if there is a product due to release soon (before May) that will be A LOT better than the current technology.
Thanks for any help you can provide! | Should I buy the GoPro HD Hero2, or is there a better choice? Follow up- Is now the time to buy or is someone about to release something far better? |
t3_1l2kdf | relationships | Me[18M] with my girlfriend [18F] of 1 year, She cheated on me over the summer, how do I get over her. | I have been dating this girl for over a year. I absolutely loved her to death. THis summer i just found out she cheated on me with 3 guys, never sex but everything up to it. Ya I can tell she wasn't lying when she said she loved me it's just that for some reason she thought she could be with me and also be with other guys. After revolving my whole summer around being able to see her as much as possible because she lives at her cottage in the summer. I get this.
I feel absolutely destroyed and I really can't get over it right now. Everything everywhere reminds me of her and of course I still love her and I know breaking up with her was right but this is impossible. The only short breaks I get from not thinking about her are when i'm with my friends and of course I can't always be with them. Is there any good way of getting over her? | My girlfriend of a year cheated on me and I did break up with her but I can't get over her. I need help. |
t3_wxug1 | AskReddit | What is your, "Are you really this big of a jack ass?" story that happened to you? | So it was Christmas Eve and I had two days earlier been in a car accident that I should not have walked away from. I had bandages on severely cut hands and an injured knee so I couldn't put any weight on one of my legs. I was one of the only two people who could work that week at my hotel front desk job. It was evening/dinner time and my girlfriend was amazing and made an incredible roast and side, brought sparkling cider, real plates, glasses, and went all out so we could try to have a nice dinner in the lobby while I could watch the desk (even though there were all of two people checked into the hotel). I had just hobbled over and sat down to the still warm dinner when a man who was visiting his family (who knew I had just been in a severe accident) came in, looked squarely at me and knocked his hand on the table to get my attention.
Standing was painful, so from my sitting position I asked if I could help him. He said he was looking for a place that delivered. I told him since It was Christmas Eve in a small town, most places were closed, but I did have a list of places taped to the desk right beside him.
He looked at it and back at me and said, "Find me a place that delivers."
So I got up, limped behind the desk, grabbed a pen and circled all the places on the list that delivered and explained what kind of food it all was; mostly pizza and Chinese. He insisted that there had to be more, and I told him no, we had already called around town to get this list and this was what he had. He said that was not possible. I hesitated for a moment, realizing what he was going to make me do.
He made me stand/sway there for an hour, calling every place in town that serves food, trying to balance and handle the phone and looking up phone numbers on the computer with heavily bandaged hands while his family looked on and my incredibly nice dinner that my girlfriend put a day's effort into got cold on Christmas Eve. In the end he got Denny's, which was at the top of the list. | Jackass makes one legged, mummy-fingered, crash victim Front Desk Hotel Agent stand for an hour and call every pizza deliverer in college town on Christmas Eve. Orders Denny's instead. |
t3_1hawgh | relationships | GF[24f] of 7 years wants a break. I[24m] think she's been cheating for a while now. | My girlfriend says she wants a break and to have some space because she's not sure if she still loves me. There's a coworker I had been suspicious she was cheating on me with for several months now, but every time I voiced my objection about her hanging out with him and not telling me until I found out on my own she would get angry that I didn't trust her.
She said she wanted to see other people during our break and I'm fairly confident she intends to see him. I found highly suggestive pictures she had taken of herself that weren't for me that pretty well confirm she is at the least emotionally involved with someone else, if not physically.
She's also had a pretty significant change in personality lately and I don't know if it's from hanging out with this guy, from medication she's on, or what. She's become extremely impulsive, she's fighting with her parents constantly, she's gone from being the most apolitical person you can imagine to becoming very politically charged. She went from being extremely excited about getting married to calling it off soon after.
I'm not sure what to do. She won't answer calls or texts from me, and I want to chase her, but she said she wants some space so I'm just kind of sitting her stewing in my feelings. We're basically our firsts with everything, first serious relationship, first sexual experiences, and it hurts that she seems to have been able to just make this decision suddenly and I'm not sure what to do because I've never had this feeling before.
Anyone have experience with taking a break from a long term relationship and getting back together or just breaking it off completely? Or infidelity very near getting married? | I think she's been cheating, we're on a break now to see other people, I am miserable and don't know what to do. |
t3_4bem82 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my Girlfriend[21 F] of 3 years, have been fighting because I think she is cheating.... | So I've been dating my GF for 3 years now and we have lived together for one full year and everything has been great until she brought up the fact that she is bored with her life because of the repetition and she wants to meet new people, but she doesn't want to break up.
In my pov I thought she was trying to break up but whenever I bring it up she says she still loves me and doesn't want to break up. Its very confusing to me and I don't really know what to do.
For me I love this girl with all of my heart and I don't want to lose her but I also do not want to get cheated on or hurt. I don't want to break up with her because I am happy with her but I also want her to be happy and if she isn't happy with me then idk what to do.
She says she feels like her life is boring because she doesn't get to experience her age. But I don't understand where this is coming from because even though we live together we also party, a lot, more than some of our friends that are single.
My biggest concern at the moment is that she is getting really close with a classmate and they "study" a lot and I've also noticed that the days she goes to the class that he is in she dresses better and looks more happy. She has assured me that nothing is going on between them but I can't help but feel like there is because she is acting very different.
I don't want to spy on her or anything like that but I do want to know the truth so I can either be happy with her or move on and make myself happy.
Any suggestions on how to talk to her about this?????? Anything helps!! | Think GF is cheating with Classmate, don't want to spy want to know how to talk to her about it. |
t3_1pu92g | relationships | Me [20 M] with my Girlfriend [16 F] have been together for 1y 2 months, Crisis in the relationship need help | This is my first post on reddit, ever.
I am 20 yo male, me and my girlfriend have been dating for over a year, and everything was superb. Last tuesday she confessed to me that she was unsure if continuing our relationship was what she wanted. Needless to say, i was chocked beyond measure.
A little background on how we met: I was going to a boarding school doing my last year of it, and she just started on her first year, we were almost neighbours, lived 2 rooms from each other. We started hanging out, mainly watching movies together or getting ice cream or stuff like that. We started cuddling after a few weeks and dating about a month after meeting for the first time.
Everything has been superb up untill recently, she confessed feeling unsure for awhile (less than a month) about our relationship. She told me she felt like she didnt have the freedom to do what she wanted, for example hooking up with somebody at a party and therefore felt like she couldn't go crazy at the parties.
After she told me this, she suggested a change in our relationship, but not knowing what. I then said we should breakup if she doesn't feel like being in a relation anymore. That was devastating. It took less than 24 hours untill we talked again, we're not together, but we are seeing each other at the moment just as if we were together. She seens really confused and i am emotionally confused whether i should just wait for her to clear up her mind so she knows whether she wanna continue or not, or should i take the big step and cut the contact. | She's confused whether she wants to continue the relationship or not, it hurt me, now i am confused whether i should wait for her, or take the big step to cut the contact ounce for all. |
t3_14wcx5 | AskReddit | How is everyone doing in response to yesterdays tragedy? Are you angry? Are you sad? | Yesterday was such an awful tragic day, and i still don't know how the hell to even wrap my brain around it, mom is a teacher, my step dads a Principal. It's just screwing with brain in an unprecedented way. This morning when i turned on my comp and opened up Reddit, on my front page there was a video of Mike Huckabee and i could tell from the screen shot it was about the shooting. The title was something like 'Seriously Screw Mike Huckabee' or whatever.
I realized i do not have the ability to be angry like that yet, i can't do it. I can't watch that stuff yet. Further more seeing others be angry just makes me want to be angry, which i don't want to be. I want to Mourn, i want to be upset, i want to cry a little. It's just where I am emotionally, and where i assume a large number of people are emotionally.
The beautiful thing about this website is the wonderful good that can come from this community. How strangers can come together and help in times like these.
But we're all human, and we're all going to process this in different ways and on different levels.
I guess the bottom line is I think having a place to vent, and be angry in a way that can result in a conversation is better than just angry posts, for everybody. It's better for the person who is angry and feeling that raw anger, that im sure at some point all of us will feel. And its also better for those who aren't ready for that anger, for those of us who haven't gotten to that point in the grieving process.
And on a more personal note, i guess i just do not want to feel alone in my grieving process. I want to talk to those of you out there who are like me, and hurting, and upset, and fucking angry. I'm a Canadian and i guess maybe i feel excluded from that national sense of mourning I see many Americans benefiting from, and i want that, i need that in a way.
I don't know Reddit, i guess i just want a conversation and this is the only way i can think to do it. What are you feeling ? | Yesterday was a shit day, im all kinds of fucked up and want people to talk to about it. How are you doing Reddit? |
t3_1fo9zg | AskReddit | What is my recourse if a company who offered me a job takes the offer away after setting an expectation? | Hey reddit, I need some legal / unemployment advice regarding the situation I'm in. Let's start 5 weeks ago. I was currently at Company A and received went on an interview at Company B. 4 weeks ago I got a offered a job to start June 10th. They email be their employee handbook and employment information to fill out (the normal employment stuff, medical, 401k) I fill it all out and send back. Since at the time everything sounds on the up-and-up I put my 2 weeks in at Company A. So while burning some of my leftover personal time Company B sends me out to get various vaccinations (its a job in the medical field) of which they paid for. I didn't pay a dime. Since I haven't had a vacation in awhile I decided to give myself a 2 week gap between jobs, I also go to school part time so it was a chance to catch up. So fast forward to today, mind you this morning I had the notion I'm starting a job Monday June 20th. I just got off the phone with a hiring manager and the position I was offered and accepted over a month ago may not be available in the next day or so. What is my recourse? Should I be calling unemployment in prep for not having a job? Am I guaranteed approval considering I quit my last job expecting a new one? I live in the United States, PA. | I was offered a new job, quit my old one and now may be jobless since the new one may take the offer away due to an unknown reason. |
t3_3a4kag | relationships | Is how I am feeling Unhealthy? Me 19 Male | I just have a question about if how I am feeling is wrong, or not healthy, a little bit of a back story though, is I am very controlling over my girlfriend, but I am working on that, and I believe I am showing improvement and I really do try my hardest not to stop her from doing the things she enjoys, just because I dont 100% like it. Also I want to mention that I am a very jealous person which I think may be the cause of me feeling like this.
Okay, so my girlfriend (female 19) have been dating for just about 8 months, and she told me for her 20th birthday, she is gonna go to a massage place and do all that and get a massage, and I guess she got scheduled or something, I dont know, but anyway the person massaging her is gonna be a guy. And I am not comfortable with that, I am not comfortable with a guy having his hands all over my girlfriends pretty much naked body. Because I know I am very controlling and I dont want to be controlling over my girlfriend, I have yet to bring this up because I fear she will perceive it as being controlling, but the thought of a guy doing that to to my girlfriend really bothers and I just want to know, if how I am feeling healthy and if I should mention something to my girlfriend about this? | Girlfriend (19 Female) of 8 months is getting a massage from a guy, I dont like this, is how I am feeling healthy? |
t3_3d4z8w | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [26F] of 5 years, she keeps getting distant and I keep having emotional affairs. | So my girlfriend and I have had a rocky relationship after about a year and a half. During this time she got super absorbed in school and started to ignore me. I would try and hang out with my girlfriend and she would ignore me if I came over. Many times she wouldn't even let me come over. After a few weeks of this I realized I was getting closer and closer to "Ashley" who was paying attention to me, talking to me and hanging out with me. I started hanging out with Ashley every day until I realized that Ashley had become my "girlfriend" without anything sexually happening between us. Movies, dates late night talking etc. When she finished that semester she found out how close Ashley and I had become she accused me of emotionally cheating and I would agree. I had started to care for Ashley more than I would for a normal friend. I cut Ashley out to take care of my relationship with my girlfriend. Things got better.
Until my girlfriend started working 2 jobs(60-80 hours a week) and I became 2nd or 3rd priority again. I started talking to another friend and the exact same thing happened. This occurred for about 2 months. About a week ago she dropped her second job and I became a 1st priority again. I now am dropping my other friend and it sucks. I don't even know what kind of advice I need right now. Nothing sexual has ever happened between me and any of these other girls. I just wanted to make that clear. | My girlfriend keeps getting distant for months at a time and I keep becoming "too good of friends" with other girls. Is this an emotional affair? What should I do r/relationships? |
t3_39f7io | relationships | In an argument I [F24] told my boyfriend [M24] that he wasn't the father of our baby. How do I make it better? | My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now. I am currently 7 months pregnant with our daughter (first child). A week ago we were arguing about him working too much and not cleaning up enough around the house. I was upset because I am very pregnant and I feel horrible most of the time and I want him to be there for me. If he can't be here for me now, how's he going to be there for our baby when it comes? Anyway, I was really angry and I don't know why I said it but I said that he's "probably not the father anyway."
I've been very hormonal and I was really angry at the time. It was an incredibly stupid thing to say. I explained this to him, but he doesn't believe me. He thinks that I cheated on him and that I'm now pregnant with another mans child. Obviously I haven't and I'm not. He's been so distant since I said it. He has been sleeping with his back to me and barely talking to me. It is the stupidest thing I've ever done. What can I do to make him believe me? How do I make our relationship better? | In an argument I [F24] told my boyfriend [M24] that he wasn't the father of our baby. |
t3_4w6jex | askwomenadvice | How can I tell if a girl is a virgin without asking directly and/or coming over like a creep? | I am at the wedding of my older cousin this saturday and I'd like to hit on the bride's sister. She is single , good looking and recently turned 17 (I am 18, so age shouldn't be a problem).
I just want to know if she's a virgin or not as it won't be worth the hassle trying to have a ONS with a virgin imo - don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like a douche, but **in my experience** it was never worth the effort to try for a ONS with a virgin, as most don't want to lose their V to a stranger , which I can fully understand.
A female friend of mine said I should make out with her, to see how fast how far she goes but that's a very bad indicator imo as it is far behind the point of no return imo...
Someone please help me. | I want to hit on a cute girl at a wedding, but need to know if she's a virgin or not, as I am not interested in hitting on her if she's a V. |
t3_2pybzm | offmychest | Help me see something, please? | One of my best friends has made me so mad tonight. As a person, canceling plans or changing them without telling all the people involved just upsets me to a point where it can ruin my day. We made plans over 24 hours ago to meet at pace A and hang out and play our favorite video game. Not only did he not tell me he would be late because he decided to go somewhere else last second, but when he does show up, he doesn't even bother to tell me or say hi even. Why would he do that when the whole time he was late, I called a couple times and sent a text asking what was taking so long. Lucky me his roommates were there to let me in or i would have been sitting in my car for three hours. After going straight to his room and leaving me unaware to his presence for another hour or so. He pokes his head into the room I've been waiting in and tells me that now we are to go meet at another place. I have to work in the morning and so does he. Why would I want to go drink with a bunch of people? I mean, he knows my work schedule. It doesn't change. Doesn't he know how tired I'm willing to be all day tomorrow just to hang out with him? After hinting at my frustration and recieving noconsolation or assurance of miscommunication, I decided to just leave and go home. Now I lay in bed, typing this on my phone, hoping that after this post and sleeping on my feelings, I can move past it and forgive him. Goodnight everyone. | My friend tried to change the plans for the night completely without telling me and assumed I would agree. I'm going to bed now. |
t3_4ra83l | personalfinance | Hastily signed a lease that ended up being ~41% of my take-home pay. What can I do? | This is my first salaried position, and it's in another state. In my hurry to get my butt out to the company before I start, I miscalculated my taxes and subsequently my budget. Now I won't be able to put more than about $500 a month into my currently EMPTY savings. I am supporting my girlfriend completely and so now both of us will suffer for a year.
Should I try to stick it out, or should I see if the landlord will let me back out gracefully since I only signed at the end of last week? The problem with backing out is that I have no money to return to the area and look at any more places; I will be renting in the blind. I may also get a raise after a few months, and the ladyfriend could find work any day. | I signed a pricey lease that doesn't leave room for much saving. Stick it out until money improves or try to bail during the "cooling off" period and take my chances finding something else online next week? |
t3_3nb8tx | relationships | Me (18/f)with my boyfriend(22/m) of a year. I want to go away with him for 3 days. How to convince my parents? | My boyfriend and I have known each other for a long time and although we've been dating each other for a while, lately we haven't had a lot of time together because of my school and his work. It just so happens we both have time off and we decided we should go away for a couple days so we can get some needed time together.
Thing is, I don't know how to talk to my parents about it. Half of me just wants to lie and say I'll be out with friends so they can't say no just because it's my boyfriend. They've met him before and have liked him so far. I know I'm technically an adult but I don't want to leave angry or on bad terms. I would consider sneaking out at night if they refused, but I don't want it to come to that. I just really need this time with him, and they can be extremely unreasonable at times.
So how do you suggest I proceed? Any advice is appreciated! Thanks. | I want to go away for a couple days with my boyfriend. My parents are not reasonable. Sure ways to convince them or lie?? |
t3_24l5cl | relationships | Me [20M] with my friend [20F] of 6 years, How can I tell her softly? | I've been friends with this girl for about 6 years and we became really close friends over that duration. A few years ago, I confessed my feelings for her and it was reciprocated.
After the rejection, we remained friends and have been since. Recently we've been arguing over some pretty shitty things she's been doing & about her ex who is a huge prick. Since she started working full time we haven't spoken much, I haven't seen her in just under a month & I've found that I feel a lot happier without being around her constantly, as I don't have to deal with any shit from her about how shitty her ex is then running back to him & I guess she's just not been on my mind at all in the last 3 or 4 weeks, until she called me today wanting me to come see her at her new place someday next week. Now I can't stop thinking about everything all over again and it's shitty. How or even should I, tell her I don't think it's a good idea if we see each other anymore? | friend for 6 years, we remained friends after she rejected me a few years ago but now I seem to be happier with not seeing her & need to tell her |
t3_25g7u8 | relationships | My (24F) boyfriend (24M) of two years all of a sudden wants me back on birth control after being off it for 6 months because I was having negative side effects. I don't want to. | Ok, a little back story.
I got on bc within the first 6 months of us dating because we both agreed that we wanted to take better precaution against getting pregnant. The pill that I was on was low hormone (can't remember the brand off hand, will find out and post later). I had nothing but negative side effects from the birth control. I was depressed, moody, and had absolutely no sex drive whatsoever. I would cry all the time for the smallest stuff. Our sex life severely suffered because I was never in the mood which was the main reason I hated being on it. I didn't feel like myself. After about a year of being on the pill, we both decided that it wasn't for me and that we would go back to using condoms. I have been bc free for about 6 months and he just informed me that he wants me to get back on bc to "ease his mind." I told him I am not completely opposed to birth control but I don't want to be on the same birth control I was on. I mentioned an IUD but I have not done a lot of research on them. Also, I do not have insurance, and the only kind of bc I can get are pills from my local clinic so he wants me to save up and buy the IUD if that is the route we decided to go. I honestly do not want to be back on birth control. We use condoms now and that works for me, and I thought it was working for him, too (obviously not). Am I being selfish for not wanting to take bc again, and not have to pay for it? How should I handle the situation? | boyfriend wants me back on birth control after I had negative side effects and I don't want to. How should I handle the situation? |
t3_4vg5hs | Dogtraining | Moving out with my dog for the first time, need advice. | I have a 5 year old chihuahua pomeranian with slight anxiety and I am moving out of my parents house with her to an apartment building. I told them she was a very quiet dog (which she really is) and that she is well behaved (also correct)
However, she has never really been alone. My parents have a shitzu something that has always been with her, and aside from some vacations she has never been without him. How should I go about introducing this new environment that is also without him? She has anxiety when it comes to new people and other dogs but she has never been an anxious barker. I also dont want her to start that habit. I will have to leave her alone when I work but i usually work split shifts so shes never alone for more than 5 hours and i usually put her in her crate. | Moving anxious chipom to a new apartment without another dog shes always been around. Tips and Advice on how to curb anxious habits or make her feel safe (and quiet) at home while im gone to work. |
t3_1azfho | relationship_advice | In love with my best female friend | Hi there.
I really need an advice on what to do, just a brief background history.
In October '12 I met my best female friend, let's call her B. We clicked like I've never clicked with a girl before, and I knew we were going to become best friends instantly (I wasn't looking for a girl at that time even tho I was single, and she wasn't interested either). I suffer by the way from a strong depression, and the only happy times I remember in the last couple of years was when I was talking with her. A couple of days ago she came to visit me, and I knew I was in love with her right from the beginning. I told her after she went home, that I really fucked up and I was in love with her. She told me she has really strong feelings for me, but she isn't in love with me. I know from her friends that it is very true that she really has such strong feelings for me, but isn't in love with me. I wasn't sad, or angry or anything, I was a bit happy that she actually had that kind of strong feelings for me. How do I get her to fall in love with me? I am 100% sure that she is the one (and I know it's not just something I'm saying), I really really want to be with her, but how can I do it? Please feel free to ask about any details, I'd be more than happy to answer if it ends with a good advice or two. | Fallen in love with my best female friend, she has strong feelings for me but isn't in love with me. How do I "persuade" her to become in love with me, or what should I do? |
t3_2n9a1z | relationships | Me [22 F] with my Boyfriend [22 M] of seven months, thinking of changing my mind about waiting until marriage. | So eight months ago I met this amazing guy, and we starting dating a month later. When discussing boundaries I told him a firm boundary is that I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and he said he was fine with it. Through the entire relationship I've been wanting to take it slow since I've been hurt before in the past, and he's been nothing but respectful of my boundaries. There have been no major bumps in the relationship, and I couldn't be happier.
Although he is fine with me wanting to wait, I feel guilty that I'm holding part of myself back, and I'm finding it harder and harder to justify with myself wanting to wait for marriage when I know that I won't me giving my virginity to the wrong guy.
After telling him this was a firm boundary, I have no idea how to bring up that I'm now open to the idea, and I am wondering if it's even worth it to bring it up since he says he's fine anyway with waiting. | Have amazing boyfriend that I want to give virginity to after saying I wanted to wait until marriage, don't know if I should bring it up. |
t3_4t7osk | relationships | Me [13 M] has a crush on a friend [14 F], and so does my friend [14 M]. | I'm a 13 year old male, naive, bubbly, but I'm not the focus. My friend who is 14 years old and is a male has a crush on a friend of mine, a female who is 14 also. Problem?
I also have a crush on her.
We both know, and I've tried to make it as non-awkward as possible by teasing him a bit (just the friendly, "hehe, she's over there" type thing) and he does the same. We've been best friends for years and made sure we wouldn't stop being friends over a girl, but he says it's a small crush that developed recently while my crush was for much longer.
I want to make a move, but I don't want to hurt my best friend's feelings and have even said I won't be hurt if he goes for her. They've been friends for a while and know each other, and I suspect she has a crush on him also, but doesn't help my situation.
Give up or just go for it? I'll probably go for it (not really a 'give up' kind of person), but I want to know if what I'm doing is wise and reasonable. | Friend and I have a crush on same girl, and I want to sway her away. (hehe, a rhyme; I have a pretty bad sense of humor) |
t3_3tvmhu | relationships | I think my bf[m18] bestfriend[m18] might be into me[f17] | I've been with my boyfriend a year and a half now and ive known his bestfriend (who is also one of my close friends) for about 2 and a half years.
I'm not entirely sure if he is into me but before I started going out with my boyfriend I thought he liked me then as well. As our relationship started he backed away and stopped talking to me for a few months, but as I started hanging out with their friendship group more he started talking to me again.
When my boyfriend isn't there he tends to put his arm around me if we're sat down (which I always push off me) when I go to his house before we go out (my boyfriend works and I have no where else to go before I see him) he'll often sit at his computer desk, ask me to look at something then pull my hips down so I'm sat on him (I'll stand up and walk away), he likes to play with my hair, buys me food (which I always decline), compliment me and he also likes playing this game where we stare at each other before one of us starts laughing, usually him as it just makes me feel awkward so I will fake a laugh especially if he starts to lean closer to me.
A few months ago at a party he tried to make out with me which I declined, he asked me not to tell anyone.
I don't want to say anything if he doesn't like in that way because it would make my friendship awkward, any suggestions? | I think my boyfriends best friend is into me, scared to say anything in case I'm wrong and ruin my friendship. |
t3_2li7hv | relationship_advice | Not sure if I [21 F] should end complicated relationship with bf [24 M]... | Bf [24M] and I [21F] have been together for a little over a year. He has a great personality, is incredibly loving, committed, smart, funny, and is, obviously, my best friend. I've never been loved like this before, but our relationship has been FAR less than perfect...
About half way through our relationship, I got severe depression, which ended up reducing my libido drastically. After having many discussions about it, our great sex life teeter-tottered. As of today, we've been on the verge of breaking up 5 times over the fact (or, the denial of the fact) that I'm no longer sexually attracted to him, although I do think that he's an attractive man.
We know that our relationship won't last forever, because I'm moving out of state to continue my education. This has put another strain on our relationship, and I'm stuck between wanting to enjoy the last few (or 6) months with him before I leave, and breaking up now and focusing on myself and enjoying my (sexual) freedom before moving away from everything and everyone that I've ever known. Our relationship has become incredibly comfortable, which is the main reason why I think we're staying together. Also, we're both getting really stressed in our school and work lives and we need each other's support. But, I've been having sexual dreams (with other guys), and I know that he can't fulfill my sexual desires. He knows how I feel, but always talks me into staying with him until I leave the state. Out of confusion and indecisiveness, I tell him I'll stay. | I'm stuck between holding onto my 1-year relationship with an awesome guy for the next 6 months before I move out of state, and embracing my sexual freedom and ending the relationship now. |
t3_4yd5fu | tifu | TIFU by dropping my friend on her head and slipping a disc in my back | Happened last night. So I've been hanging out with this girl, Kind of a friends with benefits thing. We are both looking for new jobs so we were at dunkin donuts getting coffee and filling out applications online.
It got late and eventually it was just her and I outside on their patio after they closed. She randomly declared she was ready to leave and so she got up and grabbed my keys and insisted on driving home. She loves to drive my car but i rarely let her because she's a horrible driver.
She took off towards my car with my keys and so i ran after her and jokingly grabbed her but she managed to squirm away. She made a comment that she was too big for me to pick her up anyways (she's not thin but not big my any means, i just roll my eyes at these comments.) To prove her wrong I figured i'd scoop her up (holding her like a groom carries a bride).
So I managed to scoop her up, but as I did, i slipped and fell on my back. I dropped her and she just happened to hit her head on a fucking curb and I definitely fucked my back up AGAIN. I have a bulging disc (T5) in my thoracic area I've been dealing with for the last year and now it's KILLING me again.
She had a huge cut on her elbow and a big ass bump on her head, i was initially worried she had a concussion but she claimed she was fine. The only thing she said afterwords was, "that wasn't cool." Then she was silent.
Needless to say the drive home was long and awkward as I apologized and tried to make her feel better. Now she's ignoring me today and I feel like a fucking retarded and slightly emasculated. | I accidentally dropped my friend on her head as we were wrestling around with each other and fell on my back slipping a disc in my back. Now she is giving me the silent treatment. |
t3_42r765 | relationships | [21F] Confusing Crush On Guy-Friend [21M] But He has a GF | I've been friends with this guy for a few years and I've always found him attractive but never really had feelings for him, until now. He's been dating this girl for 4 months and ever since they started dating, I've started to develop a crush on him. I don't know if I have legit romantic feelings for him, or if it's just that another girl is in his life now and I'm being territorial? I think if they broke up these feelings would fade away. He hasn't had a girlfriend since we've been friends, until now, so this situation is quite new to me.
I don't know if I'd actually want to be in a relationship for him, I think it's weird that I only develop feelings for him once he has a girlfriend. That's why I'm thinking it's more of me just being territorial and protective of my friend. I don't feel anywhere near this strongly about my female friends when they get a new boyfriend though? So I don't know why? What's your guys thoughts? | Ever since my guy friend got a girlfriend, I've started having a crush on him. I don't know if it's actual feelings, or if I'm just being territorial. |
t3_4k64op | relationships | My [19/M] ex is dating the girl he told me not to worry about. | I'm gonna keep this short. When we started dating, he had this best friend that is obviously a girl. I'm a little anxious about it but he reassures me that "she's like a sister to me" and explains to me that they are best friends and that she is bisexual.
So I kind of calm down about it and try to be friends with her the best way I can. Well, now that we're not together, someone came up to me and asked me if me and my ex were still together because they saw a post with him and another girl with hearts all around the picture and they were concerned.
Well, the girl in the picture was his "omg she's like a sister to me"
best friend. Now wait a second... If this bitch tells me not to worry about somebody and then goes off and dates them, not to mention hang out with them the night we broke up....
What do I do here? What can I do to cope? This hurts so bad and I'm actually scared for the next time someone tells me not to worry about somebody, because of what happened this time. Advice is much needed. | Ex is dating the girl he told me not to worry about. How do I cope with this and not let it wither out my trust in others who tell me not to worry about certain people in their lives? |
t3_25wqgy | relationships | Me [19 F] with my ex [21 M] getting back together for summer; how to deal with a relationship with a short time limit? | My ex and I are planning to get back together for summer. We were together last summer and only broke up because we go to college really far away from each other. It was really hard dealing with the split but we spent the year chatting and flirting, and recently decided we should get back together for this upcoming summer.
As excited as I am to be back with him, I have some reservations. He specifically said that this will just last this summer. He did say it's possible he might want to extend it further but he hates long distance relationships and I am not much of a fan of them either. So, him and I basically have until the end of August together. I am concerned because I do not really know how to approach a relationship with such a time constraint. This will be very different from last summer, him and I were mainly just fuck buddies most of the summer and then towards the end realized that we do have mutual feelings for each other, and we have been building up on these feelings for over the past year. I know it is going to hurt so much once these next few months are over and we have to split, and I am worried about what to do. How does one approach a relationship that both of you know will end, and soon? I am worried it will prevent me from getting too close with him, but I want to be very close with him, but I still do not want this to hurt too much once it ends. Basically just looking to see if anyone else has been through a similar situation and if they have advice for how to approach this. Thanks. | Getting back together with my ex for the summer, really looking forward to it, but worried about the hurt that's inevitably going to come once we have to split. How to approach a relationship with a time limit? |
t3_1e8hvu | AskReddit | Do you guys have a spare second to retweet something to get me around the world? | So recently I found this competition called Around the world in 80 jobs, and it is absolutely amazing. It takes people who qualify around the world to try out 80 different jobs to help find a career path.
They test you in all sorts of things and I scored huge in everything, except for this stupid retweet one, I barely use twitter so when I found out one the tests is to see if you can sell yourself to twitter and get retweets I freaked out. If anyone has a spare second to just jump on twitter and hit retweet on the one hashtagged #80jobs, I would be so thankful, its the last piece I need to get around the world. Sorry for begging, this is honestly a dream for me and I would do anything to get it. | To win a contest, I need people to retweet the latest tweet (One with #80jobs) I made so I can travel the world. And sorry for begging |
t3_2hpvm0 | relationships | Me [22 M] is struggling with dating after a long relationship. | In 2012 I left an extremely long relationship 5+ years (she cheated with more than one guy alongside a healthy dose of emotional manipulation to me over a few years). After about 6 months of being single and getting over the past relationship I decided to try to get fit again and try to date and find someone who I could actually form a healthy relationship with. During this 6 month period I gained a fair bit of muscle and reverted back to my body type of doing several sports a week. Keep in mind before this process I was fairly average (I.E I wasn't overweight just not "fit").
...
What I didn't expect was to be met with a huge amount of entitlement and hypocrisy. While dating I found that many girls have a prince charming fantasy and don't actually want much more than a guy who is anything other than a stereotype. Of the girls I've met a number of them were initially very interested but eventually ended up with the "bro" type other than myself.
...
Using a few dating sites I determined that very few people look at anything past your pictures. I tested this using two otherwise identical profiles only swapping out a picture of myself from before and after I got fit. The difference was literally 5+ messages a day (fit profile) to nothing (average profile). I experimented further and removed any semblance of information about myself from the fit profile and these numbers increased. This was mirrored in all other forms of dating as the less I told someone about myself and the more sarcastic/witty I acted the longer I would end up dating someone. I'm the kind of guy who loves to talk and have deeper conversations, loves poetry, and even has a soft spot for romance in general. What I've determined is that apparently this is unattractive...
...
As a side note: no, I don't reveal the romantic side of myself in an odd way, most of the people I've gone out with invite me to hang out with them afterwards as a "friend", they just aren't interested any longer.
... | I'm actually beginning to fear that I won't find someone because my romantic personality and my hope of having something other than just a physical relationship. What should I do r/relationships ? |
t3_3qcar6 | tifu | TIFU by listening to Adele on an Android phone. | So, i was waiting at the bus stop, plugged in my headset and listened to the new Adele song. I turn up the volume and just lose myself in the music, anyway, the bus comes and i step into the usual crowded morning bus, at this point the song is about halfway finished. After about a minute a lady pokes my shoulder a couple of times and i take my headset out to hear what she wants. Problem is, even after i take my own headset off the music is still very loud. She asks me to turn it down, fair enough.
And that's when i realize. For some reason the music went through both my headphones AND my speakers, at the same time. So imagine me standing in a crowded bus blasting Adele on full volume from my speakers. Safe to say i got some pretty wierd looks (and smiles).
So yeah. Anyone know how to fix this issue? It was really embarrasing. Z5 btw. | Took my crowded morning bus, for some reason my music played through both my speakers and headset giving the passengers a nice concert without me knowing. |
t3_t4e3i | relationships | Need advice regarding platonic relationship with a professor | I am a 32F who went back to college a few years ago to complete an undergraduate degree. The semester just ended at my school, and I realized that I would not be taking any more classes from my favorite professor.
I would like to be able to continue a friendly relationship with my prof because he's encouraging and supportive, and also because he's just a cool dude.
My problem is that I am worried that attempting to be friends would be inappropriate. I know that grad students are often friends with the profs (mostly their own advisor) but have never known any undergrads that are friends with their profs. As an older student, I actually have a lot more in common with my profs than with my fellow students, but it seems like there is an unspoken rule that the students and profs don't fraternize.
Also, I am hesitant about it because I feel like I'd be using him for advice and to live vicariously through his experiences since he's had a long career in academia in several countries. I don't really bring much to the relationship, other than that I make a mean brownie.
So have any of you had friendships with your professors? How did they start, and how did they turn out? | Is it ok for a 32 year-old undergrad to have a friendly relationship with a prof? Do you know anyone who has? How did it work out? |
t3_3ezds2 | legaladvice | URGENTLY NEED SOME ADVICE! | My SO is a teacher who has been teaching for 12 years at the school she is currently employed at. She hates it there (mainly because of the administration, and the hour long drive) and has recently got an interview for another teaching position closer to home. The thing is, she has a child with her ex-husband (who doesn't live the school district that she is currently employed in) and she really wants this job, but she would only be able to take it if she can put her son in:
A. A school that is within our district (closer to home)
B. The school that she is has the interview for (which is about 20-25 minutes from home).
Just some background info:
She is currently going to court for full custody of her child, but the court date isn't until after school starts back. She needs to know what her rights are, and what she can do. I informed her that she should ask her lawyer, but I pretty much already know what he's going to say. He's going to tell her to put the new job opportunity off until court is over, but this is the first interview she has had in 2 years. She NEEDS to get out of her current school. She hates it there and is just miserable. Her ex has turned everyone she works with against her because that's what he's good at; manipulating people. Any advice would be extremely helpful. If more info is needed, please let me know. Thanks! | SO is a teacher with a child and wants to switch schools (job), but also wants to take son with her. Her ex-husband will not be OK with this and we need to know what her legal rights are. |
t3_3mqhz3 | Advice | My (31/m) wife (31) makes me feel like I have to walk on eggshells about money | * | We have money, wife is strict on our budget, I have to walk on egg shells when it comes to spending it. |
t3_3f1qxp | relationships | Should I (23f) tell my boyfriend (25m) of 6 months that I was sexually assaulted and raped in the past? | I was sexually assaulted 10 years ago and raped 8 years ago. I feel like at this point in my life I have dealt with it and it doesn't negatively affect me on a daily basis. The only time I think about it is when I'm in an elevator because that's where one occurred.
I am not sure if I should tell my current bf about what happened. Right now everything is going great in our relationship including our sex life. We love each other and I know he would be supportive, but I'm worried he will view me differently. I don't want him to feel sorry for me or feel like he has to act different. I'm especially worried about it affecting our sex life. I enjoy rough sex (yes I realize that's kinda fucked up) and I don't want him to feel weird about being rough with me if I tell him.
On the other hand, I want to tell him because it's a big part of what made me who I am, and I think it would bring us closer.
I'm really torn on whether or not I should tell him. Anyone ever been in a similar situation? Any advice would be appreciated. | I was sexually assaulted and raped in high school and I don't know if I should tell my current boyfriend. I enjoy rough sex and I'm worried he won't be comfortable with it any more if I tell him. |
t3_1rxmzv | relationships | Me (m18) girlfriend (f16). We've been together for 8 months. My mind has been eating at me and i need r/relationships help. | Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 8 months now and things are great. But when we were only dating for about 1 1/2 months things weren't doing so good and we hadn't seen each other in over 3 weeks for reasons I don't remember. I felt things fizzling out so I asked for a break until we saw each other again.
Soon after that, my ex started texting me and she was going through similar things with her boyfriend. We started flirting and it went pretty far but never anything besides sexting. She was telling me that if things didn't work out with my SO then me and her should become FWB.
I wasn't up for that because at the time I was saving my virginity, but I told her if things didn't work out I'd think about it. But me and my SO had planned to spend the day with each other on the weekend and it was fantastic. I fell in love with her and made me never want to flirt with anyone other than her ever again.
I told my ex what happened and explained that I can't talk to her anymore and she agreed with me. But now that time has passed it has been eating me up inside. I don't want to tell her because I can't imagine life without her.
I don't think telling her would solve anything but hiding this secret is nearly killing me. What should I do reddit? | I messed up and now feel horrible about what I did, things are fantastic with my SO now and not sure what to do. I need your help r/relationships. Thank you so much for taking the time to read |
t3_4p4frd | relationships | I 25M need advice on a fight I had with my LDR 25F of 2 years. Am I crazy? | I'm going to give you guys the gist of what's going on and if more info is needed I will provide it. I'm a 25M in the military and have been dating my 25F Long Distance for 2+ years. I apologize if this is all over the place.
About 2 weeks ago I was on a crazy schedule, night shift, 12 hours on 12 hours off. During that time I would wake up about an hour before my shift to get ready and call my GF. During that time on multiple nights my GF would miss my calls because she was out at the bar with her friends after work. When I would get on facebook messenger to see what was up I would get responses about an hour apart so not really even a conversation. She would then go home without saying if she got in sending off alarms. Needless to say this pissed me off so I brought it up with her, and asked her if *something else* was going on.
I was told I was crazy a psychopath and what not because I was in fact upset that on multiple days, after I had brought it up I felt I was being placed second to her friends and I was having thoughts that she may be seeing someone. A little more backstory, I don't honestly think she would ever do that but at the time I couldn't help but wonder. All I wanted was 15 minutes just to catch up see how her day was and that was it so I told her I felt she was being selfish, because she couldn't make time for me so yes, this was her fault.
This brings us to yesterday. We had been great this whole week or so I thought. I'm off shifts and everything is back to normal. Apparently she's been incredibly upset this whole past week because of what I had said, she thinks I'm putting everything on her for our argument and she is "miserable". I told her I am putting everything on her because it was her actions that led us to fight. So reddit, am I going crazy? Is she gaslighting? WTF? | Fought with GF about 2 weeks back because I felt she wasn't making enough time for me. She told me last night she's miserable because I had implied she may be seeing someone else! |
t3_zyvmv | dogs | I am a Canadian student living in a one-bdrm apartment with my dog. Am I eligible to foster other dogs? | Hey! Here's a bit about me and my dog.
I am a 22 yr old Canadian (ontario) student working part time (weekends). My dog is a 4-year old female (fixed) Siberian Husky.
Even with my other responsibilities I make enough time to give her all the exercise and attention a Siberian Husky needs, and she has little to no issues while in the home (doesn't destroy anything, house-trained, etc).
My question is, am I eligible to foster other dogs while living in a one-bedroom apartment? The reason I ask is because I am aware of how full shelters get, and I want to help out.
A few of the shelters I managed to contact (I'm bad at figuring this sort of stuff out alone) all say that I need a lot of yard space or I'm not responsible enough (age, I'm guessing, is what they mean).
Anyone have any tips for me? I'm not really the sort of person to go out often (once a month, maybe?) or have tons of people over (really only housekeepers come over to give me a hand with cleaning). Mostly I just take my dog out hiking (even in winter) or to the off-leash park to play. Any other time I have is spent studying. | Canadian student living in ontario and working part time. Sharing one bdrm apartment with a 50-pound female husky (fixed). Am I eligible to foster dogs? |
t3_v82jf | relationships | I left a girl in Japan to get my career back on track in my home country. I need to know what to do. | I'm 32, she's 25. We were together for 7 months, but spend most of the last 4 or 5 arguing, mainly because I was so obviously unhappy with my career in Tokyo. I have lived there for over 2 years, but was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the city, because of my difficulties finding the right work and the feeling that my career objectives were falling behind. I made the difficult decision to leave and come back to Australia, and hoped that my girlfriend would either follow or we could work something out after the dust had settled.
I completely realise the difficult position this put her in (she's French, but much more comfortable in Japan than I was) and despite all of her friends telling her to leave me, she has tried to be strong and see a possible future for us down the track.
I've been back in Australia for 24hrs and I feel nothing but regret, and desperately want to get back there and be with her. Regardless of how I feel about Tokyo. I feel like such a selfish asshole.
I realise I'm missing important details here, but I'm just trying to get the bulk of it out there. Happy to answer any questions to fill the gaps. I basically know I'm going to work my ass off to get back on my feet and get back there asap. But I need to hear advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation (either side) and managed to make it work.
Thanks | I left my girlfriend in Tokyo so I could move back to Australia and focus on my career. I immediately regret this decision. |
t3_2q2v79 | relationships | Me [19 F] in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend [21 M] of over a year, very comfortable with him, however his niece and nephew make me uncomfortable | I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and I've met a lot of his family. His siblings vary greatly in age, so he has a neice and nephew, both right around toddler age. He was also old enough to take care of his younger siblings when they were infants and toddlers. Essentially, he's very good with kids and babies, and I'm really not at all.
That's one of the things I love about him though, is that he's good with kids. And I love kids, however kids don't tend to love me. His neice and nephew are adorable, but when they come to visit suddenly my boyfriend has almost no interest in me, and the kids obviously have no interest in me. It's just this very awkward dynamic where I'm offended but I also think it's adorable, if that makes sense.
It actually makes no sense at all, and that's what I'm trying to work out. Honestly, I get very strong feelings of jealousy, both that the kids took attention away from me and that my boyfriend is better with kids than I am. It's like instinctually I want to be good with kids and I want to love them, I'm a woman so I should be motherly right? I'm just trapped between awkward feelings of resentment and I feel like an awful person because of it. I love my boyfriend and I love his niece and nephew, but I hate that when we're all together it seems like none of them love me. Does that make sense? Can anyone tell me why I feel this way and maybe how I can change myself in this situation? I hate that I feel this way, I don't even get jealous of other females our age because like I said I'm very comfortable in this relationship | feeling left out and a little jealous when it comes to my boyfriend hanging out with his toddler niece and nephew. Help me understand these feelings? |
t3_26cvxi | relationships | My boyfriend [19/M] just broke up with me [19/F] after 2 and a half years together, said he wanted a break to see if he loves me? | Alright I will try and make this short. Earlier today my boyfriend came over to tell me he wanted to break up because we have been dating for so long, and that he needed some space to see how life being single is. This was extremely shocking because it came out of nowhere. I asked him if he still loved me and he said yes, but that he doesn't know if were meant to be together. He also said something about being afraid of commitment.
Im not sure what to do, I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. I'm a mess right now and I don't know what to do.
Please help me. | boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me because he wants to be single for awhile, but hinted that we could get back together in the future. |
t3_3t4b20 | relationships | My (23F) Boyfriend (27M) have been together for 3 years and our old fashioned parents don't approve of us moving in together. | My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and It is now at the point where I basically live with him, just not in the same place.
We spend every night together at either his place or mine. The travelling back and forth get's really annoying sometimes but really we do it because we have old school parents.
Their Idea is that we won't live together until were married.
Marriage doesn't make sense for us right now and living together would be better for both of us financially.
The problem is, we love our families deeply and would never want to do anything to jeopardize those relationships. My parents are old fashioned Italian and everything has an order and a tradition. Living with a boyfriend is NOT in their plan for me. His family is Catholic and middle eastern, living together is also NOT an option for us.
How do we make the decision that's best for us but without causing tension in our own families? | Soon we want to travel far away for school purposes, and our idea is that we go together. How do we break this to our families but not lose them? |
t3_yjif6 | relationship_advice | Neighbors and Dating? | 26/M, but feel like 15 after posting this. Girl is mid 20s.
So last week I was walking to my car and asked my neighbor (Abby, she has a BF btw) who her cute friend was. She mentioned her name was Ashley, and that she lived a few buildings away from ours. Anyway, Abby mentioned we should hang out sometime since we've been neighbors for a few months anyway.
Tuesday night strolls around and it was 11pm and I was watching TV and on the computer. There's a knock at my door and it's Abby asking if I'd like to join her friends enjoy a night-cap. Hint: Ashley girl is there she said.
So I went up a few minutes later and we all hit it off. Ashley (the cute one) was really sweet, really easy to talk to, and felt good vibes from her. *Really easy to talk to and I would really like to ask her out, were my thoughts.* But at the same time, so are waitresses who want a good tip. Plus she could just be nice to everyone.
The other part of me doesn't want to get rejected (of course) and have it be weird between all of us. Part of me thinks it would be nicer to all hang out as friends incase Ashley rejects me, and then it's harder to hang out with everyone. I'd really like their friendships just as much and don't want to be the guy that failed.
I'm assuming Abby told Ashley about me calling her *cute* and Ashley may be into me (maybe more) as well after hearing those kind words of her.
**Should I wait to ask Ashley out in person next time I see her, or should I ask my neighbor for her friend's number?** I don't want to ask her out in front of everyone at their apartment, since that can be forced sometimes. Abby wants me to let her know when I am free to hang out again. | I don't want things to be weird if I'm turned down by the cute girl. Should I contact my neighbor for her Ashley's number? |
t3_ob4dd | AskReddit | Should I End It? | So, my 20 y.o. girlfriend of 3 months and I (Also 20) just got back to School. She lives 9 hours away from me, so during Christmas break I didn't get to see her. She constantly texted one of her ex boyfriends. They only went out for a week (but they were talking on and off for like 6 months but were never official because the guy treated her like shit). Everyday over break she would get mad at me for not texting her as much as her ex texted her over the same break.
Now that we are back to school it has only been 3 days, and the past 2 nights she has gone to see him to "hangout as friends because he is having a hard time" while I am at hockey practice.
She promises they don't do anything together. But for some reason I just think the worst possible scenario. And this morning I was being a creep and looked through her phone to see a text from the guy saying "my couch smells like you ;)" and she replied ":):):)" and then I just got fed up and left back to my apartment.
Reddit, What should I do? | My girlfriend keeps hanging out with her ex and claims that they are just friends. But all evidence points to her cheating. Should I end it? |
t3_1dn75n | relationships | My godmother [45F] wants my [23F] social security number. | So my godmother, we shall call her Anna, who is 45 years old asked me for my social security number so that she can add me as her beneficiary on her life insurance. I am a 23 year old female.
A little back story on our relationship.
Anna has never really been apart of my life, even though she is my dad's sister and my godmother. She stopped having anything to do with me since I was about 5 years old. Whenever I do see her she ignores and pretends I don't exist.
However I saw her at my niece's first birthday. That was when Anna asked me for my social security number. I made up an excuse of not remembering the number because I was taken by surprise with her request. I am hesitant to give her that number one because she has ignored me for most of my life so why does she want to be in my life now. Also because she is wanted to renovate her house and I don't trust her not to take out loans with my social.
I am not sure what to do. Do I give her my social or do I tell her no? If I tell her no how do I tell her without causing drama in my family? | Godmother asked for my social security number so she could make me a beneficiary on her life insurance I don't trust her to not steal my identity. |
t3_pkz6b | AskReddit | What's the worst thing that's happened to you when you were trying to help someone? | My own very long story:
I'm a caseworker. There's an 18 year-old I work with who has a terrible attitude and horrible behaviors to match. Still, I always tried to be empathic, reminding myself that she's had a tough life.
Yesterday she (along with her baby) came in to meet with me and another worker, and then went to a different floor for another meeting. We instructed the people we handed her off to not to leave her unattended, since she has a history of stealing, physical aggression, etc. After this we went into a meeting.
A while later we got a page that the girl was missing. We look for her and I go downstairs to my office. Open the drawer where I hide my purse and it's gone, as is the girl by this point.
Frantically, my coworkers and I ask the people on my floor (where she wasn't supposed to be and certainly not unattended) if they had seen her. Two people saw her on the floor and another saw her actually coming out of my office during the time I was upstairs. I'm guessing she hid the purse in her baby's stroller. I called the girl and told her I know she took it. She denied being on my floor period and hung up on me.
She got my phone, iPod, state ID, cards, cash, keys, etc. I filed a police report but because we only have eyewitness reports to go off I doubt they'll be able to do much.
I know it's just a purse but I feel so betrayed. It's gonna cost me a small fortune to replace everything. I've spent over six months helping this kid. I'm not going to be working with her anymore but feels bad man. | I'm a caseworker who got my purse stolen by an 18-year-old that I've been trying to help for the last six months. |
t3_1z2kyo | relationship_advice | I'm [20/f] and he is [21/m] Long Distance.. Please help | Ill start with honesty. I am an extremely fucked up person. I have some personal issues, past problems, that aren't easy to cope with if you want to date me. I have some father issues that cut really deep. I have trust issues. I have never cheated but I have been cheated on.
He is a great guy. He is nice and sweet and nerdy like me. First guy I ever told that I loved him. We have known each other over a year and he is my best friend. We send pictures, we talk every day, we go to sleep on the phone together.. Its great. But he keeps pushing me to cam and part of me doesn't want to because I feel like it would be going to the next level in our relationship. A relationship that I'm not even sure truly exists.. I'm not officially his gf, he never asked me. He calls me his gf to other people but he never asked. It was never official. Then he's asked me about 3 times how I would feel about him getting other girls numbers. He even went after one girl and I stood by and tried to let him figure things out. I am okay with him exploring options. It just sucks because I wish that he wouldn't want to. I just want him happy, plain and simple. We have sent dirty pictures, I do regret it. I wish I would have waited. He gets angry with me when I wont send him more and I don't understand his anger. I could understand frustration, but anger? I need someone to be patient with me.. Sometimes I feel like I'm just entertainment until he finds something better and I don't know if that is the truth. I've asked. He said he loves me. But I cant help but wonder if you love me so much, why cant I just be enough. :/
( | I love a guy that might possibly just be using me. But out of fear of being wrong I do nothing about it to avoid losing him. Help?) |
t3_vsbs7 | BreakUps | Ex wants to get back together? | 22F here. I dated my boyfriend (23M) for almost three years. About halfway through last year, he started getting distant, and he broke up with me over the phone on Christmas Eve. Which hurt a lot, since I was still very much in love with him. Anyway, after a couple weeks of hell (and a lot of help from my friends) I began making some pretty good progress moving on.
Fast forward to the present. I'm mostly over him. Recently a friend of mine has been showing interest in me, and I'm also pretty interested. At the same time, my ex has been wanting to get back together with me, and has been making some pretty significant efforts, to the point where I've thought "if only our relationship had been like this back then." We've been friends again, and I can't say that feelings are completely nonexistent on my part. I know that if I get together with the new guy, it would be unfair to him if I still DO have feelings for the ex (which I'm not even sure about). The new guy is quite an amazing fellow, though. Really thoughtful and caring, and basically everything I could ever have dreamed for in a guy.
I suppose I'd also risk losing my friendship with the ex (who has said as much). At this point I'm unsure of how to proceed. I'd really like to date the new guy, but feel as if the ex is still holding me back. Would love any advice or insight. | Boyfriend broke up with me last year, wants to get back together again. I'm kind of interested in someone else, but not sure how to proceed. |
t3_poy8d | AskReddit | Reddit, what are some cool traditions that you know of, or have experienced? | recently this weekend I did a custom that all boys have to do in Nepal.
you shave your head and become a monk, you then attempt to run away from home and meditate forever to become like the next Buddha. in the scenes my uncle has to chase me and if he doesn't catch me or I deliberately run away from him, then I'm banished from my home forever.
I let him catch me however and so he takes me home and gives me new clothes instead of my robe outfits.
now that I have come back home, he throws me a party and whoever comes, gives me presents. all up I got $1,700
so, what's some cool traditions you know? | ran away from home becoming a monk, shaving my head, uncles sets me straight, he throws a party for my return, in the party I got a shitload of money |
t3_4l95q7 | relationships | My ex (28M) came back to me (35F) after having a field day with a bunch of other girls. How do I get over this? | I was with my ex about a year. Halfway through the relationship, the sex stopped. I would try to have sex and he would roll over and sleep. I know he wasn't cheating, but the thought came up. He said he had a "problem" (wink) and refused to talk about it. He ended up breaking up with me over something stupid.
3 months later, he apologized. After a couple of weeks, when I finally asked about staying over, he said that he didn't want to let me sleep in the same dirty sheets that he $%&* 6 girls in! He'd claimed to have this "problem," then totally whored out. I didn't want or need that info, and it ruined everything.
I can see 1 or 2 people, but that many in such a short span just makes me feel so hurt and grossed out, and I get the image of him on top of some random girl, enjoying himself. I can't get past it. He got mad that I was upset, and left me again! We haven't spoken in almost a month.
My question is, I know that what happens when you break up shouldn't matter but we are all human when it comes to emotions. How do I stop obsessing over this, and what would you do if you were in my shoes? If I feel like if a girl did this to a guy, he would be disgusted!
P.S. I did not, and still have not, even looked at anybody since the last time I was intimate with him. | I can't get the idea of him being intimate with a bunch of different girls out if my head, and the fact that he came back to me afterwards just makes me think of him as dirty. What would you do? |
t3_snw33 | AskReddit | I face a potential charge of academic misconduct at my university. What can I do? | Some background info:
-management project handed in by myself and 3 group mates
-2 days later, a mark of zero was received
-upon further investigation, our mark was a result of 'plagiarism'
-there is a meeting with the prof and a member of school staff in order to sign a form agreeing that we plagiarized
So basically, this was a large project which was composed of multiple sections. We split up the sections in four pieces, one piece per group member. On one of the segments, one of my group mates allegedly "plagiarized" some information, although the error was a small referencing error (using APA format). Can I present my case to the professor saying that I cannot be held accountable for the actions of others in my group?
I realize that this was a group effort, but my section was properly cited and formatted, and I do not have the time nor the knowledge to fix the errors of all my group mates in order to ensure an error free assignment. I plan to tell the prof that I will accept the zero on the project, but that I will not accept the charge on account of me not being part of the "plagiarism".
Has anybody gone through anything like this before? | group member messed up referencing on a project, we are all being charged with academic misconduct. Any way I can help myself? |
t3_3k7eiu | relationships | Me [21 M] was really close with [20 F] and just found out she now has a boyfriend | There is this girl at my college who I gotten to know really well over the past couple weeks. We had alot of things in common and got along really well. It got to the point where she confessed her feelings for me and wanted to try a relationship.We talked about it and slowly started forming a relationship, but things were moving on too fast for her liking and we slowed it down but still that wasnt enough. She wanted to just stay friends until we got to know each other more then try a relationship again. I agreed.
It worked out well, with my busy schedule we drifted a bit more but still kept in contact in a friendly manner. Now I was out of contact with her for a few days as she went home, turns out over the weekend she recently got a boyfriend due to me not giving her enough attention due to my schedule revolving around classes and work.
Now this was the turn I was not expecting, as I feel like I was replaced even though we weren't going out. She hasnt told me herself that she has a boyfriend now and my friend had to be the one that told me. It feels weird as we got to know each other pretty well and had so many things in common. Should I continue being friends with her due to us living on campus and me having to see her everyday or should I just cut off contact and move on from this? | Me and girl were really close friends she then gets a boyfriend and dont know if I should cut off contact and move on. |
t3_o3re4 | AskReddit | who is in the wrong here? | Recently I went to subway at a food court in Australia where I am on vacation. I proceeded to purchase a sub and a raspberry soda which I filled at the refilling station.
I ate my sub merrily, however upon drinking the soda I noticed that it had no flavor. It was pink but tasted like soda water. I decided I should go back and tell subway about it and change drinks.
So here is the situation....
There was a couple of people going down the line getting their subs created, and there was a guy who had completed his purchase and was filling his drink.
Now I saw that the lady at the register was just standing there waiting for people to finish creating their subs.
I approached her with my drink and told her that something was wrong and it tasted like soda water. Thats when the guy filling his drink turned to me and said *'Greetings sir, but would you mind getting in line in stead of jumping queue as you did.'*
I responded by saying *" Im just getting my order fixed"*
soda guy says to me then* " I kindly ask of you that you would back up or I am going to take my fist to your lovely face in a rather agressive manner"*
he had a bit of a fit. I waited for him to leave and proceeded to get my order fixed.
Now, did I do something wrong or was that guy just having a bad day.
Please note that what he actually said was quite more aggressive than I have described. | Guy freaked the shizz out because I approached the register to fix my order whilst people were creating their subs at a SUBWAY in Australia. |
t3_t1hq6 | AskReddit | Why is there a /blackfathers community? | Why is there a /blackfathers community that is not allowed to be posted in? This disgust me. I understand that many poor black males have left their children in different circumstances, but this is not the norm. When you have a group of people suppressed by slavery and segregation for over 100 years I would think people would recognize that repercussions would happen to this group of society....to say their aren't any black fathers in general not only is disgusting and inaccurate, it also adds to social tension and exaggerated stereotypes....I have black friends who have fathers that are stronger than most fathers in general because they fought through a lot of bull shit to pursue happiness and provide for their family..... this is just another example of the stupid bull shit blacks have to deal with. | the poor taste of a joke in /blackfathers is detrimental to society and creates more problems out of an evident one. Come one Reddit, you're better than that. |
t3_1qudkc | relationships | Me [23M] and my ex gf [23F] of 3 years want to remain friends. Unsure how to continue communicating because of how I feel. | The gist is she broke it off with me, but I can't say I was surprised. Hurt, sad, angry (at myself for letting it slip), and still definitely not over her in any way shape or form at the moment. I'm a full time student, she's 2 years into her career, we both kinda just kept moving the relationship to the back of our minds till it got stale. Lack of effort/maintenance, it became more of an "arrangement" if that makes sense, which is what I could never communicate accurately and what I never wanted in the first place. The settled pattern plus the already obvious distance in daily routines coupled with me acting like a complete cocksucker these past few months is what finally did it in. Kept telling myself it was the pressures of school, but family shit and old demons definitely had a big part to play.
Anyway, I wanted more, still do want more, but I know that's obviously not what she wants. I just don't want to lose her from my life. Should I try to be friends with her even though I'm not over her? Case in point, she texted me today to be careful driving and I responded with "thanks got back safe". So I know she's thinking about me too. Im still in love with her and want her back, but the point is even if I could never have her back I still don't want to lose her from my life even when we both move on. This person means more to me than anyone and I would do anything to keep her in my life even as a friend. Has anyone ever done this successfully? Any advice appreciated | Want to keep ex in my life but still have very strong feelings. Seek to maintain self-respect and honest connection with her but not destroy myself with pain of unrequited love. Need advice |
t3_1xio01 | relationships | My [22F] ldr gf of over four years just broke up with me [22M] right before a planned visit. Just feel lost. | We had planned a great four day weekend together for valentine's and I had had no intuition this was coming until Sunday night.
She told me her priorities have changed and that she needs to find out who she is outside of a relationship. Doesn't want to be half invested in it because it's not fair to me. These are all reasonable point but the disconnect is that about a week and a half ago we were discussing getting married and I had solid plans to move to her city by the end of this year. We haven't totally decided yet but it feels basically assumed.
She does not think it is a good idea for me to still fly out there but I can't swallow just ending things without ever seeing one another again. Especially since it is so sudden. I have an old roommate who lives close to her that I could stay with if I go out but I'm wondering what advice you all have for getting over something like this and if I should fly out or not (tickets are paid for).
I have already gone on two long ass runs to clear my head and barely slept 40 mins last night. I'm sitting at work but I can't focus on anything and I feel lost. | long time girlfriend blindside break up after 8 months of long distance, still have a trip and vacation from work planned for this weekend. What should I do? |
t3_4if4f1 | Advice | 17M and the future scares the hell out of me. | I'm a 17 year old male and I have literally going crazy thinking about the next stage in life. I have a 3.9 GPA and I graduate next school year but my parents are always on my back about "What college I want to go to?"
The thing is that I don't even want to go to college, well at least a 4-year university. I'm also in a vocational school learning about automotive tech. And that is what I want to do in life. I want to start my career off in this field. But whatever I say, my parents are not having it. All they care about it school. No further technical education. It's either their way or the highway.
They're both right-brained asshole accountants and that is all they have done their whole life. And just thinking about my life being anything like that depresses me. I'm not the type of person who can sit and look at a computer screen for 8 hours everyday.
I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place. They helped me buy a car, I paid money as well but they matched me. So they hang that over my head anytime I tell them what I truly want. However I obviously need that car to go to work now which pays me money to buy tools that I will need to start off as an auto tech. So just blowing them off is not an option. What would you do? Would you bite your tongue and just tell them what they want to hear and do that? Or figure out a way to follow your dreams? Any ideas for me? The only thing I can think of is to just be miserable in silence, and do what they want. Thanks in advance. | My parents want me to go to college, but I don't. I can't do that though because they pay for many of the things I need in life. |
t3_2tfbka | tifu | TIFU by having a shave | So, just your general 18 year old, looking in the mirror when I woke up thinking I need a shave, so I go to shave, start off on the sideburns and then my shaver starts making a noise, indicating it needs charging. I knew this shaver was on it's way out but I couldn't show my face to anyone just knowing it was half shaven. So I leave it to charge, come to shaving again - still making a wierd noise. So I come to open it and it's full of hair - I forgot to empty the compartment where it stores the hair from my last shave (it's electronic if you hadn't presumed, should've mentioned that earlier). I hold on to the little rotating blades as I tip my haired-filled shaver into the toilet... And one falls in. Mum walks into the bathroom and starts laughing, and being all flustered, I quickly wash the blade, finish up shaving, and put on what I think is after-balm - the immediate stinging made me investigate what I'd just put on my face and neck - it was in fact shower gel. Fuck. | went to empty my electric shaver, dropped one of the rotating blades in the toilet, then put shower gel on my clean shaven face thinking it was shaving balm. |
t3_zed8j | legaladvice | I cancelled my check because the other party didn't follow through. Should I be worried? | Hi reddit,
My gf and I were looking for temporary housing for 2 months, because we were looking to move to a nice apartment that starts 2 months later, and our current lease was ending.
We found on craigslist a couple that were also desperately looking to move out because they need to relocate to Dallas for a job. Since they needed to sublease out the apartment unit, the rental office said they would have to give up their security deposit of $500.
We decided that we would just write them a check of $500, and we would get their $500 security deposit once it was up.
We decided to take the apartment.
Everything went smoothly up until I went to sign the lease. I signed the lease, and gave them a check of $500. After leaving for five minutes, the rental office calls me back and tells me that there were others looking for the same apartment unit. Apparently, the couple had looked for other potential tenants behind our backs just so they wouldn't lose their $500 deposit. This confused the rental office and me. We called the couple several times, but they wouldn't pick up. I was really frustrated as they were about to jeopardize our spot in the apartment, so I decided to cancel my check.
A month passes, and the couple emails me from Dallas demanding me to write another check to them and that it's a criminal offense in this state (Minnesota) to bounce checks. I didn't sign my check intending to cancel it, I just changed my mind because they decided to screw things up and ignore us afterwards.
Am I legally obligated to be writing them another check? | I cancelled my check because the other party didn't follow through with their end. Now they're emailing me that they want a check, and they're scaring me by saying it's a criminal offense. |
t3_1v4ep5 | offmychest | My ex girlfriend is getting married... | We had a year long, tumultuous relationship that ended about two years ago. It took me a long while to get over it and I consciously stayed single so I could figure my crap out. She, on the other hand, has always been on a quest to get married, and once we broke up she very quickly started seeing someone (someone she cheated on me with, who she claimed to despise).
They very quickly became engaged, and then broke up. After that, she started seeing my former roommate. All of this I picked up through the grapevine, as I had cut off contact with her.
Now I've heard that she's engaged again, to a different guy. It turns out it's this guy that she had dated years back. The thing is, she always told me about how awfully he'd treated her. He had gotten her pregnant - she wanted to tell him in person and drove a long way to see him, only to find him in bed with another girl. In general, he treated her poorly and disrespected her.
This is the guy she chooses to marry? I'm glad I'm not with her anymore as we clearly couldn't get along in a relationship; I just sort of feel bad for her that she's so desperate to be with someone, and I feel bad for her son (just to clarify, the jerk guy is not the kid's father), who is a great kid but has had to see many men come and go from his life. | My ex-girlfriend is getting married to a jerk she used to date. It's none of my business, but I feel bad for her and her kid. |
t3_3ze32z | relationships | How can I [29F] stop being incredibly annoyed by most people around me? | Hellp /r/relationships.
I'm 29, work mostly from home and about 40% in an office with about 30 others. I'm relatively well-adjusted, I can be prone to sadness and anxiety, but I'd say I function well.
The thing I come to you for advice about is that I spend too much time, everyday, absolutely fuming about others. Whether it's remembering something someone said to me years ago, or thinking about something that was said during lunch yesterday, I often feel so angry and irritable that I almost feel out of breath. I know I'm not perfect myself and that I probably say annoying things, too, but that doesn't help the way I feel. I feel like people say cruel, ignorant or just annoying things everyday and it makes my skin crawl, and whats worse: I realize what an awful person I am for getting so irritable by other peoples tiny mistakes or clumsy comments.
Wheter it's someone at work saying something ignorant (*"did you know you can actually bleach freckles with lemon juice!?"*) or someone saying something I interpret as a slight (*example: someone I know said she was thinking of going into a different career, I said I thought she could do well in my field, and she answered "oh, no, I mean a LUCRATIVE career"*), I feel like banging my head on my desk and just not talk to anyone ever again.
I know I'm probably just as bad, trust me, I already know, I don't know that much about politics or history and I probably say dumb things all the time. But I'm desperate for some suggestions on how to truly get rid of this feeling. One of my best friends is skeptical of vaccines and I just feel like I can barely spend time with her without feeling like I'm itching all over with irritability and an overwhelming urge to prove her wrong.
I just feel like people who enjoy other peoples opinions and don't really care whether they are right or wrong or whether they say something semi-rude by accident are happier people. It must be a great way to live! | I feel deeply, deeply annoyed by people in my life, every day. I really want to deal with it and stop feeling like this. |
t3_49jpb2 | relationships | I [22 F] feel like I'm going to have an unhappy marriage just like my mom if I marry my bf [22 M]. What should I do? | Right now this is weird for me because I'm in a weird place with my mom right now so I don't know what to feel. I'm just concerned. I recently started living with my boyfriend and it's been forcing me to be a little more like her. Crazy organized, can't stand mess, tired, stingy with money.. a lot of things. I guess it mostly stems from how my relationship with my boyfriend is so similar to my moms relationship with my dad. And my mom wasn't happy in the relationship. She held on to it and there were some happy times but when she'd talk to me about my dad she just points his bad sides. My dad isn't THAT bad he just kind of sloppy, materialistic, shopaholic. My boyfriend is way better than my dad though, they share a lot of quirks like messy, likes to spend but somehow still always has money. But my bf has qualities that my dad doesn't, like he's caring and wouldn't cheat (my dad cheated on my mom before I was born). I'm just worried that, since I'm becoming more like my mother because of this relationship, what if my boyfriend changes into my dad overtime and I become unhappy like my mom? | My boyfriend shares similar qualities with dad and its bringing out the qualities & personality traits I share with my mom. My parents aren't happy together and I'm afraid. |
t3_fcfug | AskReddit | Describe your greatest bus-throwing incident. | What the title says. What was the situation? Did/do you feel you were justified in your actions? What was the outcome?
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**29/F** My boyfriend's evil ex of 6 years, who completely ruined his life and sent him into years of therapy, suddenly calls him one day under the guise of caring about his recently-killed friend. She proceeds to flirt with him and incinuate that she knew his body better than I did--"I bet you're all sore & stiff, why don't you come over for a massage?" And he blew it off, thought it was funny, and came home and told me about it.
I was **LIVID**. I'm not the jealous type (I'm pretty damn secure), but that shit just rubbed me the wrong way. But instead of confronting her, I let a more... sinister plot unfold.
She cheated on him with/left him for this territorial, violent, butch lesbian, and had just had a "wedding ceremony" (not legally binding but going through the motions). Classic "Oh I fell down some stairs" excuses when she'd show up somewhere beaten up.
Sooo, It took a hop skip & jump on facebook to track down his ex's new "wife", who I KNEW would take issue with this. I calmly told her what transpired, mentioned that it was disrespectful and I didn't appreciate it, and if [The Ex] would lose [My Boyfriend's] number and drop off the face of the earth, it would be great with us. Basically like "This is your problem, fix it".
For the hell she put my guy through, AND for blatantly disrespecting me, I hope she fell down more stairs and smacked her face into a doorknob. Just sayin'. | Boyfriend's ex stuck her nose in where it didn't belong, I sicked her jealous, violent partner on her. |
t3_53zxxk | relationships | Me [31M] with my girlfriend [30F] of 2 years, live in apartment, communal laundry room, she found women's clothing in ours, I'm innocent, give me peace. | I live with my girlfriend of 2 years this month we love each other very much we live in an apartment so we share a communal laundry room. I did some laundry yesterday and my girlfriend and get up sorting it out and folding it, in the process she found a pair of women's underwear that are not hers. This looks horrible and I'm completely devastated. At first she was freaked out but after a bit she came to realize this is a very possible occurrence, myself however did not handle it well and just felt (still feel) very broken down, ashamed to say I cried through most of the night. I just don't want to lose the woman I want to spend the rest of my life for something I never did.
She wants to keep this totally between us which I believe is the best plan going forward, however I'm worried that she may not actually be able to keep this to her self and when it does get out with her friends / family, its not going to be pretty, and I worry would be the beginning of the end.
I just want to know why? I feel so helpless and all evidence points to me? Is this karma, for something I've done in the past? What can I do going forward to stay positive, keep our relationship strong/alive? Prove my innocence if possible? I just want to back to the way things we're please give me peace. | I did some laundry yesterday and my girlfriend sorted/folded it and found a pair of women's underwear that are not hers, communal laundry in our building, I have nothing to do with these and its killing me inside. |
t3_2mfuaq | relationships | (24f) My boyfriend (31m) lied to me about staying home. Went to the movies with his ex instead. | The title pretty much explains it. I've been with this guy for a few months now and things have just now started getting more serious. He's asked me to join him and his family for thanksgiving and had included me in the name drawing for Christmas presents his family does.
When we first got together he was still dating this girl that he told me he was having a hard time leaving because she apparently has some serious mental instability issues and was desperate to keep him. But he did leave and we started dating pretty soon after.
So on Monday he messaged me letting me know that he was working late and going to bed early and that it would be a good night for me to get out with some friends. So I did and thought nothing of it. The next day he sorta starts asking me who I was with the night before which was weird. He apparently doesn't like a certain person I was hanging out with and I told him that if he had a problem with it then he needs to let me know. He said he wasn't going to do that because he doesn't want to tell me who I can and cannot hang out with. He also said he doesn't want me to change anything for him...??
So last night he handed me his phone to call a cab and her texts happened to be up. I saw "I had a good time on Monday" and started reading the rest. Apparently they went to the movies on Monday. The night he told me he was staying in. I confronted him about it and he gets defensive but eventually started apologizing.
The kicker is that he took me to the same movie two days later and acted as if he had never seen it before.
He's asked me to forgive him and is saying that he would never do anything to compromise what we have and that he's falling in love with me and that he will never keep anything from me again.
It's the calculating and deliberate lies he told me that are bothering me more than anything else. I really just don't know how to feel right now. Should I even try salvaging this? | My boyfriend took his ex to a movie after lying to me and saying that he was staying in to sleep that night. He took me to the same movie two days later. Pretty shameless. |
t3_17s6ud | self | In the matter of hours, my entire worldview and personality was broken down and destroyed. All because of a book that I stumbled across on reddit. | There's no easy way to cover everything that I want to say and for some reason today I'm not feeling very eloquent. Bare with me.
I'm a 'nice' guy. I've been this way all my life and it's been to the detriment of almost every one of my relationships. How I conduct myself around people has been based around my 'niceness'.
The other day while browsing /r/confession I stumbled across a comment that recommended a book called "no more mr nice guy". At first I was hesitant to the idea of a book teaching me not to be a nice guy, but I decided I'd start reading and see if it makes any sense.
It did and it challenged the way I constructed myself at the very base level. It showed that I used niceness as a form of manipulation and use it in the expectation that if I was nice then good things will happen to me and I would meet the girl of my dreams and blah blah blah. You know the drill. Truth is, my niceness comes from a dark place.
"No one was put on this planet to meet your needs and you only need to meet the needs of your children"
The above quote is from the book, and it really struck me as true. I expect others to meet my needs as if they're my servants that I pay in niceness. Niceness has become a transaction for me where I do things for others in return for favors and with women, I've always expected love and sex in return.
The book pointed out how the majority of my actions are based around my subtle controlling nature that's rooted in an underlying narcissism. All this is covered in a blanket of 'niceness' that I show to people. | Niceness can be a way in which manipulation and narcissism can hide behind a mask and transact their will with or without your consent. |
t3_u1e6m | dating_advice | LRT SO needs help getting aroused. | Dating for almost 8 years me (24f) him (23m) We are apart for about 10/11months. (jan to end of nov) for school.
While we are apart he has gone to clubs and strip clubs to dance wth ladies and strippers. and i dont really have a problem with it since we are apart for so long.
Then he started working out a lot. It killed his libido, and since he moved away form our home town for the duration he has no friends in Ontario so he is extra lonely.
since he started working out (Eeryday pretty much. cuz hes bored) He has not masturbated or anything in almost 4 weeks.
hes starting to get confused about our relationship, and even when i sent him awesome sexy pics, he acknowledged the sexiness but was unable to get aroused or erections.
there is only so much i can do over Skype or online or by phone to help him (i'm in Hawaii hes in Ontario)
He isnt coming to visit me until the end of June.
Is there something i can do to help him feel better about...the inability to get around?
He told me he was unable. because of loneliness.
I even told him that if hes confused about our relationship that he is allowed to go to clubs and grind with women, or if he wanted to we can go on a break until he visits me. but he says he would feel "morally wrong" to meet anyone whilst on a break. and doesnt have urges to go clubbing anymore.
i'm very nice and loving and considerate. i'm just worried. he is a dude and hasnt masturbated in over 3 weeks. everyday to non a day. | temporary LTR Boyfriend unable to get boners (even from sexy pics) hasnt masturbated in like a month. confused about relationship, lonely and sad. dont know what to do to make him feel better. |
t3_4j7hvc | relationships | Me [27 F] with my boyfriend [38 M] of a couple months, found photos of his first wedding and want to know if I'm normal | I'm not going to pretend that I haven't dated before being with my BF; we met at the bar where I work about a week after my ex-fiance (29 M) and I broke up and called off our wedding (he was actually out celebrating his divorce). We're trying to take it as slow as possible without artificially dragging our feet because we both came out of serious relationships, but it seems like we're hitting it off really well! We're having fun, building confidence in knowing what we want in a life partner and if it happens that we become something deeper, it will happen in its own time. This question isn't really about us, but more about my personal reactions to things.
I was looking for a specific photo on Facebook related to one of his hobbies, and happened to find the one photo of his first wedding (not really relevant, but they'd eloped). I'd Facebook stalked him before and knew what she looked like, but it was the first time I'd seen them actually together (another person had taken the photo, so it wasn't directly on his Facebook, but on this other person's) and I found myself comparing myself to her and making a mental list of how I fall short- I'm not overweight but a little on the heavier side of normal where she's willowy, her skin is beautiful and unblemished where I have scars and bruises and permanent marks from disease, etc.
I've felt super self-conscious about myself since then and I guess I just want to know if it's normal. I don't think I should say anything to him because it isn't really healthy to compare a current relationship to an ex or ask if I'm prettier than she is (although I really do want to hear "No, Diabrotica, you're prettier than she is"). I know I'm being insecure and I know it will pass, but I have a history of being told my reactions are "wrong" and I guess I want to hear that other normal people sometimes have these kinds of thoughts. | Think I'm not as pretty as my current bf's ex, want to know if normal people think this way too. |
t3_3o970a | relationships | My Girlfriend (19F) and I, (19M) are moving in together. Her parents keep telling her how they think that it is a bad idea. | So, my gf and I, both 19, are moving in together come December. We've been a couple for 8 months, and close friends for 3 years. Ive been living by myself for a year, and I got a taste of how it works, but my girlfriend only just moved out from her parents this September. Her parents keep bugging her and is being genuinely unfair, and it is really getting to her. Not moving in together is off the table, and she isnt changeing her opinion. Her parents really like me, and I don't understand how they cant just be happy that their daughter is doing something that makes her happy. Can, and should, I do anything about it? | Moving in with my girlfriend. Her parents keep telling her that it is a bad idea even though she is doing what she feels will make her happy. how do I help her? |
t3_13j86p | dating_advice | Do I keep chasing, or move on? | Hello, reddit.
So there's this girl, and we first met at the beginning of this semester, both of us going to the same school. I'm 21, and she's 19, and we've been seeing each other in class and talking a lot, and towards the beginning of our friendship, we laughed a lot, and she seemed comfortable enough with me to the point where she was comfortable holding me a lot. We got lunch with friends once or twice, and I thought we were getting close. I developed feelings for her, so I got her number and tried to talk to her more outside of class. Unfortunately, she doesn't really text me often, and when we're in one of the classes we share, I've seen her talking to another guy, and even saw her grab lunch with him by herself. In a last ditch attempt to make my feelings more noticeable, I asked if she wanted to go skating within the next few days. She smiled, said she would think about it, and would send me a text later. It's been almost a week since I asked, and I'm worried she's putting off a rejection, or possibly worse, forgot that I asked her at all. Do you think I should keep trying to get a date with her, or should I just accept what has happened and move on? | Met a girl earlier this semester, hit it off at first, but now she won't give me a straight answer as to if she wants to go on a date |
t3_1wfzbh | loseit | I desperately need to self-motivate and change my relationship with food. | For some background, I (F22) have had a terrible relationship with food since I started college and began to feed myself. I snack constantly, eat enormous meals (sometimes to the point of feeling sick), and even went in a few weeks ago to a college counselor asking if I had binge eating disorder.
I'm also really shitty at exercising. I've tried specific plans, rules for myself, apps like fitocracy and habitrpg. Nothing has worked. And I haven't really worked. It's the same old story of setting goals one week and by the next not following them. I have a workout buddy (my boyfriend), who I'm sometimes insecure asking for help/to work together because he pushes me harder than I want to go and has (rarely) criticized the methods by which I want to work out (good example, he prefers to run outside, while I much prefer the treadmill).
I know there have to be people out there who have had the same experience as me. I've read through the FAQs here, and plenty of fitness blogs and sites, and something is just not clicking. I don't feel motivated or capable of making the changes I want in my body. | I'm a lazy fatass with off-and-on motivation to change. Please help me find the tools I need to lose it. |
t3_reb3s | AskReddit | Reddit, my house just tried to pee on me. what is the strangest chain reaction you've witnessed? | Today I was sitting in my office working. My dog comes downstairs and lays next to me, peacefully. About two minutes later a stream of what appears to be *PEE* starts pouring from the ceiling next to me! I looked up and saw it was coming out of the AC vent. So I put a trashcan under it and go upstairs to investigate. Apparently my dog had peed on the hardwood floor upstairs, the puddle was quite large and snaked it's way over five or six feet to a vent in the floor, it went down the vent and back the other direction about ten feet, before falling into a main duct and turning the corner, travelling another two feet before dropping out of the vent above my head. | Dog peed upstairs, it travelled around 15 feet across floors and around ductwork and came out above my head, barely missing me. |
t3_2sda16 | relationship_advice | After accident and back injury, I (23M) can no longer get along with my gf (21F) | I was rear ended a few weeks ago by a drunk driver and my car was totaled. Ever since then, I've been taking Vicodin for the pain. However even with the meds the pain is still very much there, causing me to have a short temper. Everything sets me off. Being alone in my apartment sets me off, having to cook dinner sets me off, living in general is setting me off. Everything hurts, emotional physical mental.
I don't know how to cope, I feel like the only person I have that is really supposed to sympathize with me is my girlfriend, but all I get from her are either "suck it up" or "take more Vicodin" type messages. I don't find either constructive. I think we are on a path towards breaking up because I somewhat expect her to be supportive especially in the worst of times.
To complicate matters she is spending more time with her family hour per hour than with her crippled boyfriend. I can't help but feel jealous, but I don't think this jealousy would have existed if my condition wasn't as so. | I feel that my girlfriend is ignoring me and not supporting me as much as I would appreciate, given the fact that I was in a serious car accident and I'm in a lot of physical pain and could use the help. |
t3_kpjt5 | relationship_advice | Should I be concerned? This situation just doesn't seem right. | Anyways, I'm usually not the jealous type and have always given any gf I've had the freedom to hang out with other guys as much as they want. The past few months, I started dating this girl who has been amazing in so many ways, up until now I've had no issue with her.
For, the past few weeks shes been away visiting family. I know she has friends around the area and shes been hanging out with them while she has been away. Anyway there is this guy in the group who I know she finds really cute (she mentioned that was her first thought when she first met him). Usually we email back and forth several times a day (which has been nice considering we have no other way to communicate). Her emails, have been full of everything from I miss you to inappropriate things she plans on doing to me when she sees me again etc.
However, the other day I received no emails from her (which I didn't really think a whole lot about at the time, as there have been days where I have been busy too and been unable to email her). Anyway, she got back to me the other day that she had been "hanging out" with this guy for the past two days, and that they had been drinking so she stayed the night as his place. They subsequently spent the entire day together sight seeing and hanging out up until she got back to me (her last two days on vacation were spent with him if that makes any difference).
Something about this situation just doesn't seem to entirely add up, as I said I've never been one to get worked up about gfs having male friends, but this whole situation has raised a ton of red flags for me. I might also add that shes been a little paranoid about me fooling around while shes been away (I haven't, nor would I ever cheat). So as the title suggests should I be concerned about this, or is this normal behavior? Should I be less concerned, because she was open about it all, or am I just starting to become too paranoid. | gf spent the night a guys place while drunk, and subsequently spent the entire day with him while on vacation. Should this raise red flags and if it does what should I do? |
t3_g9d24 | AskReddit | Reddit, ever had a relationship come about via Craigslist? | The title says it all really.
I ask because, over the years I've read the personals on Craigslist, mostly just for fun. Recently, one piqued my interest. No picture or anything, but she listed some similar interests so I shot her a message, with my pic attached.
Never in a million years did I ever think I'd get a reply, much less from an attractive female. With a little google-fu, it appears as though she is a totally real person. Quite attractive, and a fair amount of shared interest. I really have no idea how to proceed. It's one thing to ask a girl out in real life, but I have no idea how to go from 'craigslist internet guy' to 'hey lets meet and it not be creepy.'
So, any Redditors that may have met someone special on CL - how did your relationship progress from Personal Ad to ... whatever? | I got a sent a reply to a Craigslist personal, and got a response. I don't know what to do now. |
t3_2uj7cw | legaladvice | [CT] Can an employer ask that an employee use vacation time that they haven't accrued yet? | Last week, both the state and my office were officially closed due to inclimate weather. There was no way for most of my company to do any work at all. Legally, my place of employment can make salaried employees to take vacation time on these days. This is what my company did, along with the option to make up the hours over the weekend.
I understand that the law only requires that the employer compensate the employees according to their salary, and cannot reduce their employee's wages for being, but can they make the employee go below the already accrued vacation time? If any employee were to leave with a negative vacation balance, it would be deducted from the last pay check of that employee, which I believe would be considered a pay reduction, which if the deficit was because of times where you are forced to use vacation that you didn't have, would be illegal. | Can an employer force you to go negative in vacation accrual when they make you take a vacation day for a day in which the office is close. |
t3_1g50wk | loseit | How do I get started? | I've been lurking around here for a while, and I think all of your achievements are great! I want to lose weight myself, but no matter how many times I think to myself that "This time it's serious!", or whatever, the "dieting" and such only lasts for a day or two.. I should probably mention that I'm an 18-year-old girl, and I weigh 80 kg (176 lbs?), and I'm about 5 kg (11 lbs) overweight. I gained 11 kg (24 lbs) pretty quickly in a matter of months, and my self confidence back then was already low, so this didn't really help. I'd like to lose about 12 kg (26 lbs), and get down to 68 kg. (150 lbs)
Okay, so, all that aside.. My problem is not eating too much, food wise. My weakness is sweets. My breakfasts are mostly healthy (oatmeal and such) and for lunch at school I usually have a slice of bread or two. I eat normal dinners, often a little small portions, and supper is mostly the same as breakfast. I just need a tip or two on how to stop myself from buying sweets and pastries all the time. Whenever I am in a grocery store, I look at them for a while, and I always conclude with "...oh, what the heck, if you want it, you're allowed to have it! (Norwegian saying, "Har du lyst, har du lov)"
I've also been thinking that I should go for a walk a day or something, but that never happens either..
Please help me erase these thoughts! Do I not want the weight loss enough? How can I focus more on being healthy? | 18F, 80kg (176 lbs) want to lose 12 kg (26 lbs) can't stop buying sweets/can never start being active. How can I erase the need for sweets and start doing stuff? |
t3_2ib251 | tifu | TIFU by making a joke to a friend of mine on a sensitive subject. | This fuck up really wasn't from today. It's actually been 5 days since I had this fuck up.
To give context, my friend and I have acquainted for a few months now. We would text each other and bullshit. We'd make dirty jokes towards each other and sometimes mean jokes.
On this particular night we were making mean jokes to each other and on one of our off topic conversations not pertaining to mean jokes, she said, "LOL ew" to me. I decided to get back on topic by saying, "I bet that is what they say about your face! XD" to her. I rarely use emoticons unless I am joking around with somebody, so when I do, people know I am joking. To my findings, she is a self-conscious person when it comes to her image. She said, "Yeah". That's the point of where I start to really feel fucking bad about it. I apologized to her and she said, "Mhm. Don't. I'm going to bed. Night night." At that point, I got of the computer and just went to bed.
The next day arrives and we don't speak to each other. I found out from a friend that she said she felt disappointed in me for making that joke. To give more context, she has a small group of friends, and I do as well. After I get home I text her telling her how deeply sorry I am and how I promise to watch when I come close to crossing boundaries. She told me then how she is self-conscious and I told her how very pretty she is. For those who can't tell, I am kind of into this girl a bit as well. She didn't text me back.
For the past couple days we have yet to speak more than five sentences. Today I even tried to text her and see how she is doing, and she hasn't replied. She's read it, yet no reply.
This fuck up really makes me feel bad. She's one of those people I feel I can really trust and after this, I feel I have lost her trust. | Made a joke to my friend that was mean because that is what we do, she thought I was serious. Now she isn't speaking to me. |
t3_4uxof8 | Advice | I'm 24. Advice about college, an AA or a BA, how quickly I can get either, etc. | I took a few classes a few years ago at a local community college, but failed most of the classes due to laziness/add/uncertainty about what to major in. I regret not sticking it out and just getting a damn degree.
I was considering web dev. Trying to pay attention in math class literally hurts my head, but at home I can focus and do the problems normally. I have been doing some online courses on html/css but haven't jumped into javascript yet. I know as long as you have projects/proof to show that you know what you're doing, you can get a job as a web dev.
I feel embarrassed not having a degree, though. My bf will be getting his master's degree, and he did mention he thinks it's a turn off that I have no education... which I don't blame him, because it's not like I've excelled anywhere else in my life or have a good job.
Is it really pointless to get an AA? The only subjects I'd be interested in majoring in would be either communication, or web dev/comp sci. The latter will still be difficult, I think. If I get a bachelor's, there's no way I could get a comp sci degree. And is there a way to skip all the bull shit and only take classes I NEED? It's INCREDIBLY disheartening and makes me mad/unmotivated that you HAVE to take random, unrelated classes AND pay for them. I already took similar classes in high school, damn it. (bio, english, etc) are there any accredited, legit online courses? I'll be living in San Diego.
Just want to get my life going, start making decent money with a decent job... any thoughts on this whole thing? | is it pointless to get an AA, are there legit online classes I can take to quickly get a degree, do any of you have experience with getting a good job without a degree, general advice. |
t3_25nwzc | personalfinance | Drowning In College Debt some of which is in my Dad's name some in my own. What can I do? | I am 26 years old. I attended a 4 year school for graphic design. My Dad took out a parent plus loan for my college. The loan is in his name but I pay for half. half being $525 a month. (I can find out the total money owed but I think its near 100k) On top of that I have a 20k loan in my name, the payment on that is $127 but will go up as time passes. I currently work at a local news station and I know increasing my income would obviously help, but I'm just trying to find out if there are routes I can take to help my situation. | I pay **$525** to my Dad for a loan in his name for my college, and **$127** for my own loans for college. |
t3_39koom | tifu | TIFU by getting off to someone's snore | I live alone in an apartament and my bedroom is separated from my neighbour's bedroom by what appears to be a very thin wall. I can always hear them moving furniture, a baby crying, and so on.
So yesterday night I couldn't sleep and I started to hear a weird sound coming from my neighbour's bedroom. I paid more attention and I could hear him moaning. It was a very sexy moaning and even though it sounded like it was alwaysat the same pace, I enjoyed it a lot.
I have no idea who my neighbour is so I could picture any hot guy giving himself a treat, and that turned me on, so I proceeded to "join" him through the wall.
Once I finished with my business I noticed he continued to moan, at that very same pace. I waited for fifteen minutes and it kept on going.
Something felt just odd.
So I got up and put my ear against the wall to hear it better...only now it didn't sound so much as a moan as it sounded like...snoring.
So yeah, I got off to someone's snoring. I guess there must be a fetish for it somewhere. | Heard my neighbour making sounds which I thought was moaning from jerking off, felt horny and "joined" him only to find out later that I actually masturbated to my neighbour's snore. |
t3_2pccp4 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my [17 F] girlfriend for a little over a year have different sex drives. | My girlfriend and I met in high school last year, and we took everything slowly. I started in college this year and she is still in high school. We go 2-3 weeks without seeing each other, and my sex drive is a lot higher than hers, so when we do get to see each other I am apparently too crazy about sex. She thinks that's all I want from her, but we spend a ton of time texting, skyping, snapchatting, etc. She even told me she loves to have sex with me, but that I am too obsessed with it.
I just feel like she tries to please me enough to stay with her, but she is not always happy about the amount we have sex herself. I love her a ton, but it really is hard for me to deal with. I'm not interested in having sex with other girls whatsoever, it's just my girlfriend drives my hormones to the max level. What can I do to not be so horny around her, or how do I make her understand? We have talked about it quite a bit, but I don't think she understands what it's like. | I have a higher sex drive than my girlfriend in long distance. How do I deal with her limiting my ability to be intimate with her? |
t3_y7w5c | relationships | I [28/m] want to end my 8 yr relationship with gf [27]. She promises to change but it may be too late | [This is a follow-up of a post I made a year ago but I lost my password](
Not much has changed since that post. I talked with her recently and described how unhappy I was and she promised to work on being more thoughtful and considerate and overall being more open to doing things I'm interested in. I am 100% confident that she will try and I can sense a tone of desperation; I think she really wants to change and save the relationship.
But I'm afraid it may be too little too late. I still like her a lot but I just feel resentful and bitter about how unfair and unbalanced the past few years has been. And even if she were to start taking an interest in my activities, I can't shake this feeling that its a forced effort rather than because she wants to make me happy.
And then there's her parents. In the last year I've not met her parents once. I was also hospitalized in critical care and she didn't visit me because if she did her parents would find out and would force her to leave me. She also says her parents want me to be more successful before they will accept me (I make 6 figures but she's a doctor). I've invited her to meet my parents several times but she usually refuses. She did have dinner with me and my mom when my mom was in town recently.
I know I'm unhappy and my side of the story probably reflects that mentality. Last time I posted this, the response was unanimously against the relationship. My close friends, parents, and psychiatrist all think I should break up. I see that she's trying really hard now to make things better but I don't think I have it in me to keep going.
I'd really like for someone more reasonable and level headed to play devil's advocate and try to talk me out of breaking up. Is there any hope? Has anyone experienced or heard of a turnaround? I want to exhaust all options and possibilities. | Unhappy with unbalanced relationship last year. Nothing has changed but gf has promised to try hard to make things better. Do I stay or do I go? |
t3_2c91q5 | relationships | My girlfriend [21F] says she loves me[25M], 1.5 years, but doesn't ask me to see her | I am 25 and she is 21. I am her first boyfriend. We are dating for a year and a half. We really like the time when we are together. She is very lovely to me in person and in IMs. We are starting to talk about our future together. What it will be like when we decide to live together.
The problem is she never asks me to meet her. I am the guy to ask. If I don't ask her to go out, we probably wouldn't see each other for two weeks.
The other problem is sometimes she doesn't want to meet me and make excuses like she will be doing something in her house for her family.
In the beginning of our relationship, she said she was like that. That she doesn't miss me when we are apart (and, of course, I miss her), but when we are together is awesome.
We discuss our problems sometimes (we communicate ok).
Are some girls like that ou she doesn't like me? Do you have some advice for me?
It is difficult for me to discuss that with her. | GF says she loves me, but never asks me to go see her. I always have to ask. Sometimes she make excuses, so she doesn't have to see me. |
t3_3n3zpf | relationships | Everyone keeps talking about how obsessive behaviour in a relationship is unhealthy. I think I (17F) am obsessed and "addicted" to this feeling of love. Advice? | My boyfriend "John" (16) and me have been together for 3 month now. I know this is not long at all and we are young and make mistakes but please hear me out. We're in our last year of highschool and everything's going pretty fine in our relationship.
We treat each other respectfully, we have common interests, we communicate whenever there is something the other doesn't like.
I used to be emotionally unstable before, unlike other girls I don't hate my body, I hate my personality. I didn't believe anyone would find me interesting at all, especially after the end of my first relationship that lasted 6months and ended with my ex finding me too boring.
John is a very positive person. His positive aura has made me into a very happy and relaxed person as well. I feel desired and loved and I am happier than ever.
Now the problem is he taught me to relax and not be a workaholic and enjoy my teenage life as I will never be this young again. And now that I am, I feel a lot less focused at school and everywhere else, I can't organize, I do everything wrong where I used to have a clear mind. I can't focus. All I think about is when I will see him again, when I can be my happiest again.
It's the last year of highschool so grades do matter. But there's no way I want to end this beautiful relationship over this. This is also a thing I do not know how to tell him. I don't want to be obsessive. There ARE still many other things I enjoy without him: painting, playing instruments, programming and all these other non-lazy hobbies I had before. But I am so extremely demotivated at school and can't seem to listen to what the teacher says and my time management is almost completely gone. I only want to see him during the break. It feels so wrong to only go to school because of this. Any way to make me less… addicted? Because he is still able to do his school work and everything without neglecting me in any way. | I only want to see my boyfriend at school and can't focus on school work at all. I know this is unhealthy so I wish to change. |
t3_547psz | personalfinance | Want to have a joint checking for household bills. How to fund it when money is tight? | I am in charge of the finances. He makes about half as much as I do. We are not married however have a house together (in his name, I'm not on the deed yet) and a daughter (1.5 months old). I'm 33, he's 28. I'm pretty good with money so he has given me control and has even agreed to him just having an allowance. Anyway those are just some details.
Issue: I want to open up a joint account where we both put money into like half mortgage, and all our other bills (electric, cells, water, grocery budget, daycare, internet, etc.). That way we are at least always paying half our way.
Problem is his money is tight. He get's paid weekly. How do we fund a separate joint account while paying bills on time and him not going in the red? Build it up 50 a week at a time? Slowly move smaller bills to the joint account? Who has done this before?
I've read alot here but have never posted. We are on track to get married but not until spring of 2018 as I qualify for a full ride scholarship for grad school single. I was burned in the past financially. I do not foresee him taking advantage. However, I see myself possibly harboring resentment if I feel like I am paying his half of the bills. Hence, a joint account for household only.
I can see myself paying for fun things or stuff for our daughter from my own account without it being an issue because I make more and that is the reality. We are 1 household now. Sigh. I probably will have resentment still but that's for r/relationships.
Anyway. I also use YNAB and have both our checking accounts set up and a ton of other accounts. Oh, I already opened a checking and savings with $50 of my dollars, free, no annual fee, no minimum balance. He is not an authorized user yet as he hasn't come home to e-sign. | Opened a joint account for household bills for 2 people. How to fund it while safely paying bills if we don't each have a lump sum to be able to deposit in there to start us off? |
t3_4jmp7y | Parenting | Value of working from home? | My wife and I recently had our third kid and will need to move soon so that we can have more space.
We have the option of moving far enough away from my office that commuting would not be possible and so I would work from home. The downsides are we would also be away from my family and our friends, and I would be away from my office and coworkers which can make work a little more difficult.
The idea of being home all day with my family is very attractive to me. Even though I'd be working during the day, I would have the 2 hours I normally would have spent commuting each day plus my lunch break to spend with my kids. So an extra 3 hours each weekday.
My question is: how valuable do you think it is for me to be home and available to my kids for those extra few hours each day? By valuable, I guess I mean making a positive difference in their lives and their development.
Important details:
- either way, my wife will also be home with the kids all day
- the kids are all under 6 years old
Obviously no one can answer this for me, but I would like to hear your thoughts or related experiences. | is it worth moving away from family and friends if it means Dad gets to work from home and spend more time with the kids? |
t3_2y0zyg | relationships | Me [17F] with my friend [19M] Missing my best friend so much, can I ever get him back? :/ | Im missing my best friend a lot :/ we used to be so close and did everything together. We talked on the phone almost every night and really cared for one another.
Sadly I've been depressed/have anxiety and took out mostly all my anger on him. I felt terrible each time i did it because it hurt him a lot and I felt so bad I wasn't in control. It got so bad recently that he told me he couldnt be friends w/ me anymore and basically cut me out of his life. I miss him so much and truly am sorry for what I did. I recognize I need help and want to change myself.
I just really wish I had him still in my life :/ i truly am sorry for what I've done and want to change. Is it possible to ever get him back? :/ | i lost my best friend because i took out too much anger on him due to my depression/anxiety. I wanna get help and change. i miss him a lot and really want him back. |
t3_sjtq9 | AskReddit | How do I stop my roommate from kicking me out of the house because she wants her friends to live there instead? | Longtime lurker needs help re housing/tenant rights: I live in Virginia. I rent a house with 2 roommates, "X" and "Y". All 3 of our names are on the lease, which expires at the end of May. Roommate X is trying to force the two of us to move out, so her friends can take our places. We have not given the landlord a reason to want us gone--rent is on time and we take care of the property. Roommate Y took over the lease from someone else and moved in very recently, but we are both willing to renew the lease for 1 year. I am planning to move out later in the summer, but fully intend to find a suitable replacement for myself to take over my portion of the lease (this is permitted by landlord). What are my legal rights here? What can I say to my landlord? There's major karmic imbalance in kicking me out because she wants new roommates, but do I have any legal standing? | My roommate wants to kick the other 2 of us out, but we're all on the lease and want to renew. Do we have any legal right to not get kicked out if we can pay rent and re-sign lease? |
t3_122w6l | AskReddit | Hey accountants/bankers - I raised funds for my injured friend and have questions... | My friend was severely hurt in an unprovoked attack. She won't work for months, so we set up an online donation site to help her family.
It raised about $12,000. It's sitting in my Paypal account, so I need to transfer it to my bank account and then give it to her and her family.
But they just admitted to me that they are currently in the process of declaring bankruptcy. So if I give it to them, they will lose a big chunk of it.
So, what are my/our options? I'd like to give it to them in cash, but wonder what happens when I ask for $12,000 in cash from my bank? Do I have to report it to the gov't or something (I live in Canada). Is there a way to get the trustee to leave this money alone?
Thanks in advance! | I raised money for an injured friend who was also in the middle of declaring bankruptcy, and need to know how to give her the money without losing it all. |
t3_1f76sg | pettyrevenge | Stolen Computer? I will find you | So this happened to me 4 years ago. I will keep it as pertinent and to the point as possible as to not bore you all...
In 2009 I was travelling up to New York. I flew in and was waiting for a shuttle to take me to Columbia. I put a bag in the shuttle, and realized I had left a bag inside the airport. I went to get the bag, came back, and the shuttle had departed, with my bag inside which had my computer in it.
I ended up tracking my bag to the companies office, and took a taxi to get there, albeit two days later. I got to the office, opened my bag up, and my Macbook computer was gone. As you can imagine, I was very upset, but I kept my cool as I pretty much felt I was SOL.
Now this is where the story gets interesting....
After travelling home a day later, I get an email from Apple thanking me for contacting them about my computer. Knowing I had done no such thing, I contacted them to explain to them what had happened. They immediately agreed to help me, and told me to locate my serial number from my receipt. This is why it is always important to keep receipts, everyone! I gave them the number, and they were able to track the computer back to New York, and even had the name of the individual who had the computer.
With this information, I contacted the shuttle company. After many phone calls with higher ups of getting nowhere, and them basically telling me I was SOL, I gave them the name of the individual. Their demeanor immediately changed, and it turns out it was one of their employees who had my computer. They agreed to refund my money, as long as I would not release personal information such as names, the company name, etc.
With the information I had, I decided to become a vigilante. I contacted the individual, posing as an Apple Genius, telling him we could upgrade his computer under a promotion for no cost, all he had to do was bring it in.
He brought the computer in, and was arrested on the spot. | Guy from shuttle company stole my computer, AppleCare helped track him down, played detective, got him arrested from hundreds of miles away. |
t3_4lpuoq | relationships | My parents [54F and 66M] want to give me a place to live, rent-free after graduation from university. I [21M] want to be independent. | In July, I will be graduating with a degree in law. I have a placement as a trainee lawyer in a firm in London upon graduation. Now, I know London is a crazy expensive place to live and work, but I'm prepared. I have my own savings from summer jobs and internships, not to mention the salary that I will be getting.
My family is rather wealthy and we own several properties in the London area. My parents have prepared a place for me. It is a large flat in central London that they want me to share with my [30M] brother. I don't mind living with my brother--he's super cool. The flat is in an amazing location, is large and spacious, is close to commuter links and major attractions, etc. It is also close (but not too close) to my childhood home and where they are living.
The problem is, I want to be independent. I've tried explaining to my parents how I want to find my own place and pay my own rent, but they won't hear of it. My father told me that he didn't want me to rent in some sketchy, unsafe area. They both think I'm crazy to even consider refusing their offer. My friends think so too. They tell me how lucky I am that my parents are willing to give me a free place to live after graduation. NOBODY wants to hear my side of things and it's really frustrating.
Even my grandparents think I'm being unreasonable. They make it sound like I'm some ungrateful brat who doesn't want to associate with his family when he's older. But that couldn't be further from the truth.
How do I explain to them my need for independence? How do I let them listen and understand how I feel? I don't want to be rude and just flat-out ignore them and go my own way, because they're still my family and I love them. | Parents (and basically entire family) want me to live with my brother in a place they have prepared for me. People think that I'm being ungrateful and rude for refusing it. How do I convey my feelings effectively? |
t3_3qt4v7 | tifu | TIFU by kidnapping my neighbor's dog | Using throwaway cause this is pretty embarrassing.
It was kinda stormy outside for a while and in the afternoon it turned into light showers. Well, while I was on my way out the door to give a friend a ride to work, I saw this dog wandering around my neighbors front yard. I didn't know them well but I was pretty sure they didn't have a dog.
Being an animal lover, and the fact that it had began to rain again, I opened my door and called to her. She was quick to jump in the car and I didn't think anything of it.
I got to my friends, and dropped them off at work before going and driving around my neighborhood, for about 30-45 minutes, looking for someone who appeared to be searching for a lost dog.
When my quest ended with no such luck, I made the drive back, thinking about where I was going to put this dog for the night.
Low and behold, I pull up and my neighbors are outside with worried faces. I open the door and the dog runs to my neighbors and they start laughing.
I ended up lying and told them I found her some ways down the road. We laughed and they said thank you..
I feel pretty foolish.. | it was raining and I saw a dog alone in the rain, got it in my car, drove around till finally coming home to find my neighbors looking for their dog. |
t3_uwkwr | AskReddit | AskReddit: When have you tried to do something innocently, only to make yourself look like a fool? | This happened to me last night:
I got asked out by a horse jockey. I work at a race track, and he kept seeing me working all day and hunted me down once the races were over to ask me out on a date. I was so startled/flattered that I turned him down by telling him I was "too busy with work" (I have two jobs). In actuality, I have a boyfriend who i adore completely and wholeheartedly, but I benignly left that fact out while talking to the jockey because I didn't want to hurt his [the jockey's] feelings. There was a language barrier as well, and I wasn't sure if he would understand what I meant either.
Fast forward about 30 seconds after he leaves, and I feel like the biggest asshole ever. In no way did I mean any harm by what I said, but I still felt awful. Luckily, awesome boyfriend understood, and things are fine and all is forgiven. | Got hit on by a jockey, turned him down. Instead of telling him I had a bf (like I should have) I told him I was too busy with work. |
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