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t3_2qv9eq | relationships | I [17 M] broke-up with my ex-girlfriend [17 F] after after two and a half years, and I can't overcome. | At the beginning of high school I met a girl. We started dating shortly after and we were together for two and a half years. It was my first girlfriend, and we lived many cool things together. But we always had some trust issues, she has never been fully open with me.
In recent times some things started to bother me more, because even talking to her, nothing changed. It wasn't something serious, she did not cheat on me. But I was no longer feeling well. She seemed to put me in the background. I was no longer a priority.
So I decided it was time to end. She said I was abandoning her. I felt a little guilty and a few days after I went to see her, we treated each other like nothing have happened, but when I was leaving she said she had not yet sure what she wanted.
I gave her some time to think, but she always runs things. She said she would see me one day, but a few hours before she said that could not go anymore. We talked again recently, she said that just wanted to see me after the new year, because had things to do with her friends.
I thought she really was not giving priority for us and I said that I wanted to see her before the new year. Since then, she stopped responding to me and apparently does not want to see me.
Despite all the mistakes, I still love her a lot, but I also feel that I am not giving value for myself. I want to get over it, I know that there are thousands of other nice people, but lately I've been depressed.
Sorry if I made any mistakes with grammar. I'm from Brazil. | I broke up with my girlfriend, regretted, tried again and she stopped to answer my messages. I feel unable to overcome. |
t3_d6n5j | AskReddit | Dear Reddit: My grandmother needs love from her family. Advice? | This is a throwaway account.
My grandmother is around 80 years old, Korean, and her health is decent. Our family lived with her since my parents got married, and she has been the homemaker when my mom is at her work. The problem with my grandmother is that she never leaves home. There is no problem with that except that I feel terribly bad for her solitude and loneliness. When I am away at my college, there is nobody at home except for herself. She is a sweet lady who cares about her family a lot, but she could be a very paranoid person (she definitely has OCD) to an point that could piss our family off. There has been many fights at home because of her aging mind. She doesn't have Alzheimer, but we can tell that she has terrible anxiety.
My family tries to be close to her, but many times we cannot understand her mind. She is worried about everything, she cries a lot while praying, and my parents despite that. Besides my parents, she has no other relatives or friends. She has no hobbies, and she doesn't know how to do anything, or have any skills. We have a pet dog, and she treats it like her own son, but sometimes she overdoes it.
I just want her to be happy, but because of her age and her anxiety about everything, keeps us from being close to her. | My lonely grandmother needs love from her only family, but the family is too busy with their lives. She is always in solitude; no hobbies, friends, or relatives at all. |
t3_20dp8u | relationships | Me [22/M] with a girlfriend, unsure if I am getting signals from an acquaintance [20/F] | So I have been getting involved with a school group on campus, and in the process I have been working a lot with one girl who I seem to get along with well. We have been working on projects since last fall, and it's gotten to the point where we are doing something project related several times per week.
It seemed to me like she was starting to telegraph some pretty standard signs that she was into me: laughing a lot at things I say that aren't particularly funny, touching my arm while we are talking, playing with her hair while we are talking, etc. Usually we communicate by text or email outside of meetings, but once or twice recently she called to relay some information that would have made a lot more sense in an email or text message.
However, we only ever interact in the context of group projects. If we are both around before or after a meeting, or I give her a ride somewhere or something we will chat about whatever, and we seem to click, have a lot of the same interests, and so on. But outside of that our communication is entirely group related -- we are always texting or emailing about things that relate directly to the project at hand, and that communication is always very business-like. As soon as whatever problem arose has been worked out she will stop responding, or if I send something not directly related to what we are working on I probably won't get an answer at all.
Recently I decided I'd like to try to be friends with her outside of our group work (I'm not looking to date her since I have a girlfriend). I am curious if a) she actually is interested in me and is avoiding getting close to me in any way because I have a girlfriend, or b) I am reading this entirely the wrong way, and she isn't interested in being more than acquaintances, and c) if she is interested in me, is it still cool for me to try to befriend her?
I am horrible at reading people and I overthink things, so I'd love some neutral input here. | Girl displays signs? (laughing at jokes, touching arm while talking, etc) Am I misreading this? Still okay to be friends with her if I have a gf? |
t3_luzcr | relationship_advice | I need your opinion on my situation Reddit. Please help me! | Ok.. here goes... (For my own sake and yours.. I'm gonna keep it relatively simple.)
I'd been dating this lovely lady for 3 years. I'm not exaggerating, this woman is the only one I've ever truly loved out of any I've dated. In my eyes, she is the perfect girlfriend. I don't want anyone else. I have been completely faithful to this woman for the entire time we were were together. I've been nothing but supportive and caring and outgoing towards her. She was always the same way back, and the relationship was picture perfect, until one day..
She gets this brilliant idea that she wants some other guy. I could just tell. I don't know if it was boredom, curiosity or what, but she cheated on me. Needless to say I was pissed off and she of course lied about it. Now she didn't have sex with the guy, but she got drunk and had this make - out session with a "guy friend" of hers. Now I'm all for accepting that people make mistakes while drinking (been there done that), but when I asked her about it, she blatantly lied about it to me and led me to believe it never happened. I'm pretty clever and I figured out the actual truth relatively easily. I told her that I was mad about the kissing but I was more pissed about her lying to me. I told her that I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who could lie so easily so i ended it and stopped talking to her.
I hadn't talked to her in 4 months, and she texts me out of the blue, bringing back tons of feelings that I had since pushed away. She apologized and told me she hates herself for what she did and wishes more than anything she could take it back. She made me miss her quite a bit, and I want to forgive her, but it's really hard to trust someone for so long and for them to be able to break your trust so easily. I just need opinions on what to do. I'd like her back but.. I also don't want to just have the same situation go down. | I had a girlfriend, she cheated on me. I'd really like her back, because we had a great relationship. I'm scared she might lie/cheat again. |
t3_1141ps | AskReddit | Religion Sampler | I am 17, and not very religious. I haven't even really believed in god for seven or eight years. My father is extremely catholic. Although very liberal, I have always viewed my mother as relatively religious. Today, simply out of a random occurrence, the entire family went to mass as opposed to just my parents or my dad by himself. During the homily today, the priest started talking about abortion, and how "congress will now let you abort simply over the sex of the child," a total lie he was reading from some bullshit email he got. He reminded everyone to "vote prayerfully, and you know what that means." Everyone in the church applauded. My mother was furious. And to my extreme surprise, tonight she sat down with me and said: "I was raised catholic, and we tried the same with you. But I just cant agree with what is happening within the church. So I talked to your father, and he finally agreed to what I'm about to propose. I believe faith is important, and it doesn't have to be "omfg i love jesus" but I want you to explore some sort of spirituality. So I have decided that for the next few months, we are going to try a different church every week until we find one that we can all love and respect. It doesn't have to be catholic, or even christian, and I am open to all options."
( | ) We don't like institutions who take advantage of us like fox news. So, Reddit, what religions, denominations or spiritualities do you recommend for me and my family try out? |
t3_406jbc | tifu | TIFU by getting the cops called for making a YouTube video | Like many of these, this didn't happen today. More like 9 months ago, but I thought the story belonged here.
My friends and I have a small unknown channel that we make videos for in our spare time. We were in the process of filming the final scene at a local park, which involved putting my girlfriend in the trunk of my car, driving up into a parking lot, and carrying her out of the trunk and into the woods. We noticed when filming two people sitting at a shelter near by that could see everything going down. I figured they could probably see I had a camera so it was no big deal. I was wrong.
We carry her into the woods and film the final scene of "chopping her up". We start walking back toward the parking lot when we see a cop car right next to mine. When I first spotted him I thought we should of just went back into the woods and waited it out, but it was getting dark and cold with it being early spring, so we really had no options but to just face it.
As we're getting closer to the car, the cop gets out and yells at us to stop.
"I got a call you guys dragged a girl out of your trunk and took her into the woods, what the hell is going on here?!"
He quickly realized that, that girl was walking with us and I explained what we were doing. I told him I was gonna walk up and show him it was just a video, and he, seemingly uncomfortably nodded in approval.
I showed him a few clips from the whole thing, even a few from the beginning scenes just so he could get the premise of why we'd be pulling a girl out of the trunk of a car. He ended up finding it pretty funny and I have him the link to our channel to check it out when it was all done.
I don't know if he ever did go to it, but I'd like to think so. | made a weird video pulling a girl out of a car and seemingly killing her, cops were called. Situation almost got ugly but I explained everything. Now I have a cop viewer, I think. |
t3_3fz14u | dating_advice | Me, 19 m, asked crush 19f on a date.. | So, a little bit of background. I have a reasonably large group of friends at uni, centered mainly around me, my buddy, his gf and his gfs best friend. I started to get to know best friend, let's call her Marsha, and decided I'd ask her on a date and developed a bit of a crush on her. Best friend and his gf were like go for it, we could double date etc.
So today I was hanging out with them, and buddy's gf told me to ask Marsha out, via kicking me in the foot. So I did, I was like "hey, Marsha, did you want to get dinner with me?" She paused and looked at buddy's gf and I and, was like "were you two planning this? I was like yes, and eventually she wittled it down to let's get coffee instead." I was like cool, casual date. Maybe she just doesn't want to do something so formal for a first date.
I then asked buddies girlfriend whether Marsha said yes just to be avoid awkwardness and she was like "Marsha thought you meant as a group." I thought it was pretty clear that I was asking Marsha on a date. So, my question is, Is this salvageable? I don't think she likes me, but when I talk to her later I plan to make it clear I meant it as a date. I do like this girl, but if she's not interested, I can move on.
Oh and it's not like the whole group were here, most were in class, it was just me, buddy's gf and Marsha. So it's not like I was addressing the group, I was clearly just addressing her. | asked a casual friend on what I meant as a date, she interpreted it as a group thing, I'm confused and a little hurt. |
t3_3abdf8 | relationships | Me [20 M] am struggling to accept moving on from something I never wanted with (21 F) | Around 7 months ago I was never in the right place for a relationship regardless of the fact I began to date a co-worker. She wanted a relationship.
We ended up having to stop dating due to trust issues and not having built a meaningful friendship and romantic relationship.
However this past month we began talking and spending nights together and I began to realise I never managed to make this girl happy and even though I still do not wish to have one with, nor her with me now, I do wish to be in a happy relationship and feel like I am in love with someone, how do I begin to accept that we did not click with each other & not view myself as a failure due to the fact I could not make her fall in love with me and for us to be happily in love together?
The simple answer would be just that we aren't meant for each other and I should just move on, but how can I go about stopping analysing my past self and not beat myself up about what feels like a failure on my part, because ultimately, making someone else happy will give myself great inner happiness. | How can I begin to accept not everyone is meant for someone and view a past 'relationship' as experience gained, not failure? |
t3_2r4hmi | relationships | Is it a rebound or am I actually falling? | My boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me at the beginning of December. (We are both 19) I was relatively happy in the relationship, but there were some big issues between us, but I loved him with everything I had. (I still do).
But a few days ago I went on Tinder for a laugh and ended up talking to this guy that is one of my guy friends friends. (He is 20)
We exchanged numbers and have been talking quite a bit, we Skyped for four hours last night and didn't run out of things to say! He is really nice and everything I wanted my ex to be and more - we can have a laugh and it is just so perfect.
But I am really scared this is all my fickle heart healing itself by attaching itself to someone new and I really don't want to hurt him.
I do want something with him at some point, not for a while but eventually - only thing is I go to uni 150 miles away and he works full time, so we wouldn't see each other for long periods of time.
Plus I live with my ex when I am at uni, so I'm scared that would cause issues.
Idk. I really think I like him and we could be something, I just wish it hadn't happened this soon after the break up.
Any opinions/input on whether I should stop it now or ideas of how I can make it work? I am going for coffee with him tomorrow and then we are both going out in to town. I don't know how to play it. | my boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me a month ago, is it too soon to start seein someone else? |
t3_3akr95 | relationships | SO (23M) says he doesn't have to seduce me (20F) anymore. | Not in a sexual way, more like he means he doesn't need to romance me or anything. I know he can be romantic, he's told me how he's sent girlfriends letters in the past and done other little things for them. Now we are long distance and tried not to be super serious but we are still together after 8 months and when I said it would be sweet if he wrote me a letter he said he "doesn't need to seduce me". I find that kind of offensive, like that he's saying he doesn't need to try anymore.
He might have been joking but I don't know. Maybe half joking. And i think it's also good to know our relationship didn't start romantic. We were friends and got tipsy one night and hooked up and it went from there. We haven't been on dates or anything. And I'm not asking for these big grand gestures, but yeah it would be nice for him to put in some effort once in a while. Like I would love to get a letter from him or a postcard while he's traveling or plan a small date when we are together again or something like that. And he does other really sweet amazing things but he doesn't try to be romantic ever which would be nice once in a while I guess.
Is it fair for me to want him to seduce/romance me still? I don't like the idea of being comfortable and not trying, but how would I bring this up? I'm not sure if I'm just being needy or something. It just feels like sometimes we are just friends with benefits like we have a great sex life but there is no romance. | SO says he doesn't need to seduce me/be romantic which leaves me feeling like just a friend and not a romantic partner. What do I do, how do I bring this up in a civil way? |
t3_149s4j | relationship_advice | Finally decided to break up with my shit girlfriend that I love, need help on how to get over her. | I still love her, but she keeps talking and flirting to other guys, I drew the line a few months ago and told her I simply didn't like it, she's been progressing by talking to them more than me etc, i dont want to know what else she's done.
I need help on how I get over somebody that I really love, I've spent a fair amount of time with this girl and I've held her so close, what will i do throughout the days? I've been with her all day, every day since we started dating, how do i get out of that routine? | I need help getting over my girlfriend, what to do during the days etc, since i have no idea what the fuck to do during the days since ive been with her every day for a shitload of time. |
t3_4yedmo | relationships | How do I (30M) tell my best friend (29M) that he eats too loud and it's really embarrassing? | My best friend is Chinese and he eats very loudly. When we get pho or other kind of noodles, he'll slurp the soup and go "ahhh" after he swallows it. He'll also chew with his mouth open. I've been to restaurants with him and people will turn around to look at us because they can hear him eating. It's pretty fucking embarrassing.
We've been friends for 10 years now. He's kind of a sensitive guy and I know it's going to piss him off if I tell him he eats too loudly. Plus I think it's a Chinese cultural thing to eat loudly and slurp soup like that. Should I tell him he's embarrassing himself by eating too loudly? And if so, what's the best way to do it? | My friend eats really loudly and I'm not sure if I should tell him he's making himself look bad. Plus, it makes me feel weird eating with him. |
t3_3hdry1 | relationships | I [22f] am being removed from the friend zone. I'm worried he [23m] is just desperate | Throwaway as he is a redditor...
We met when I was 16, and have always got along really well. He was always a bit of a popular jock and i was a bit of a geek. Totally out of my league etc. We hung out etc but he moved way so I never saw him much, mostly just spoke via Skype etc. I had a bit of a crush on him that I think he knew about.
We ended up at the same college for a year and in that time he initiated sexual contact twice, once I declined because I felt he was just trying it because he knew I would. The second time we ended up getting drunk and sleeping together around his graduation so he went home after and ended up with a girlfriend from home so that was that. Most of the time at college we were close friends and would wingman each other etc. We have similar interests and get on really well
We maintained fairly regular contact and met at a reunion BBQ recently. I felt there were sparks and flirting but nothing happened.He is always in a relationships and tends to jump between them while I've remained mostly single. Now during supporting him through yet another breakup, he has begun to hint at sex and a relationship etc and sends me what I would consider romantic pictures etc
I'm worried that He is just lonely and knows I like him? I feel like it's too late to pull me out of the friend zone, and that he is just a bit desperate. I feel like I like him more than he likes me (despite him doing the pursuing) and would get hurt if we just had sex or if he got bored of me. Im so unlike his previous girls.
I'm not sure if this is just me over thinking things and I need to give it a try? Or just replant myself in the friendzone? Does this ever work?! | I have been in the friendzone for 6 years, now I feel he is looking at me differently and I'm finding it hard to trust him. |
t3_1z2aak | relationships | Me [22F] want to break up with my boyfriend [24M] too scared. | I´ve been with him for 6 months and I really love him and think he is a great guy but I don´t see myself marrying this guy..like I get tired of being around him at some point and just wanna go home and be alone..I had two serious relationships in the past and this is the first time that I felt this way..there´s nothing wrong with him is just that we don´t have so many things in common maybe that´s why I get bored sometimes..the thing here is that he wants to marry me he has told me like 4 times.. I don´t know how to do this and I don´t know how to tell him..I don´t want to break his heart but I don´t think that it´s good sign that I don´t think the same way | boyfriend wants to marry me, i dont feel the same way but i love him..wanna break up, dont know how. |
t3_18d9df | relationships | I feel that my [18M] inexperience with emotions is hurting my relationship with my S.O.[17F] | My S.O.[17F] and I[18M] have been dating for over 2 years now, and were friends for 4 years previous to that. She has recently come under a lot of stress from her workplace, finishing her senior year of high school, and applying to and deciding on colleges and majors. This large amount of stress has caused her to come under a mini-identify crisis.
I have tried to be there to be supportive of her and try to help her through what she is currently going through. However, I am very inexperienced when it comes to comforting people and making them feel better or less-stressed, and this has started to spawn arguments and small fights between us, typically about how she feels that I become withdrawn when she is having a particularly bad day.
How can I be more emotionally supportive of her? | I do not know how to emotionally "be there" for her, and am looking for advice on how to change that. |
t3_2cckeh | tifu | TIFU by walking into the wrong classroom | First, a bit of background as to how my school worked (this will make sense in the story): We had a different teacher for the 3 subjects of science we did, and we had our lessons in rotation. Every time a class missed a lesson (e.g. Communion or a day off) we would have the lesson we missed the next time we had a science lesson. For example, there's a chemistry lesson on Monday, but we have a day off, that lesson will be on the next science lesson we have.
Anyway, the story: On the particular day of my fuck up, we had two science lessons, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, but we had a communion in the morning, so we had the mornings lesson in the afternoon, the day was fine, until after lunch. I had a music lesson, which ran through the first half of the science lesson, me being me, I had forgotten that the classes had been changed, so after the music lesson, I went to the class I thought I had. So I entered the classroom, and went to explain why I had been late to the class, I was so tired this day, that although I had recognized the people in the class (and most of them were laughing at how idiotic I was being), I'd completely blanked out the fact I was in the wrong class. After explaining why I was late, I proceeded to my desk, then the teacher says 'shouldn't you be in X teacher's class.' This is when the reality hit me that I was in the wrong class. I turned around and began my worst walk of shame to date, pretending to laugh to not show how stupid I was feeling, but I'm sure everybody knew how I was feeling anyway. | Walked into wrong science class, didn't realize it, teacher makes me realize, began my worst walk of shame to date whilst feeling like a complete idiot. |
t3_4ci4ij | relationships | I[19F] am adopted and my extended family treats me like an intruder. | I'll try to keep this as short as possible and with the proper formatting, since I'm on my phone.
Anyway...
When I was twelve, I was adopted by the family I now call my family. Mom, Dad, and two younger siblings. I adore all of them.
However, my father's side of the family loathes me. They're not giving me presents for my birthdays, they skipped my graduation, they 'forget' to put out plates and such for me at family gatherings. The list goes on and on.
I know that this sounds incredibly petty and that I should just be able to ignore it. But this has been going on for seven years and it has almost brought my parents to a divorce.
Mom will get pissed at Dad about how I'm being treated, Dad says that he'll talk to them, he tries but they start defending themselves and the whole thing repeats itself the next time we visit the paternal side of the family.
This easter, I didn't go with my family the grandparents' house, thinking that this would help the situation. No, my grandparents then made comments about me not being there, how ungrateful I was, yadda yadda. When my mom attempted to defend me, they turned on her.
I'm so sick of this!! Is there a way to keep everyone happy in this situation? Or should mom and I just stay away from family gatherings? | I'm adopted and my extended family keeps treating me like an intruder, and feel the need to make sure I know I'm not related to them by blood. Is there a way to solve the situation? |
t3_w9vyi | running | Had food poisoning yesterday, should I skip my training today? | So, Saturday I eat some carpaccio (raw meat, cooked in lemon) and yesterday I had a bad food poisoning with high fever (39.5°C) puking and diarrhea included. All my muscles hurted too. It's been a nightmare. But anyway I managed to go to work my 8hrs shaft at work.
This morning the fever was completely gone and I feel really fine, like yesterday nothing ever happened. I'm drinking a lot of water and gatorade to get back fluids and minerals.
Now the question is, Should I skip my 6km run + machines and pullups workout or I can go for it?
I would like to go for the run in about 2hrs so please let me know what you think about it. | had very bad food poisoning yesterday, with puking and diarrhea. should I skip my workout today evenif I feel perfectly fine? |
t3_1ffvnt | dating_advice | Did I get out of the friend zone? [M,15] | Hey guys (and girls), I posted a long story here about a girl I like, but I don't think I worded it just right, so I'm going to try again. (Plus its a lot shorter this time)
A few years back, I was introduced to my current best friend's sister. Before I knew it, I had gained strong emotional feelings for her. She's dated a few boys, all of which lasted no longer than a week (I think it's because she has a tendency to not hurt other's feelings). I can't tell if she likes me. A few of her friends have told me that she flirts with me. However, due to pure stupidity, I told her I liked her over text about a year back. She said she wanted to be friends back then. However, as time goes on, she's been acting a lot more flirty around me, and recently we've even done things like holding hands etc. I think she likes me, but I can't be for sure for one main reason: She dates other guys. She's very Christian, and isn't one of those girls who hooks up with guys just for their looks (She told me she likes guys for the inside. Yay me.). However, I think she's single, but I can't tell if she might have changed her mind. Should I go for it? (Feel free to ask questions) | Friend-zoned by a girl, but I think she's changed her mind over the past years. Should I make a move. |
t3_ukdq7 | relationships | Haunted by her past. | M 22 here, girlfriend is F 20. I've been dating this swell gal for a few months now, we click, get along well and have fun together. We've only been intimate up to the point of kissing and fondling and haven't done anything sexual yet. I fact, the other night when things were getting pretty hot between us she begged to give me oral but I wasn't comfortable with it and straight up refused her (and yes I realise how insane this makes me look).
The thing is, I'm a virgin and she is not (has had a handful of partners). Her past really bothers me up to the point were I begin to feel physically sick when I think about it. My entire life I envisioned sharing my first time mutually with the woman I would be with for life. Am I stuck out of my time? I'd appreciate any comments or insight into this sort of situation. | I'm a virgin, she isn't. Thinking about her past makes me feel ill. What are you're thoughts? |
t3_mfv91 | AskReddit | I'm supposed to take a paternity test. im not sure if i want to go through with it. help reddit?!?! [slightly nsfw] | backstory: i will try to make it as short as possible.
a long time ago... i met this girl & off the start we hit it off really good. a couple months after we would hook up she would move away.
a couple years back i went out to visit her. to my surprise she had her little family. she had her bf & her daughter. she claimed she was very unhappy with the way her relationship was with him & said she wanted to leave him for me [she claimed she hated herself for not 'waiting' for me & chosing him over me] i agreed but only if she left him. i told her i would take care of her & her daughter. she "tried" plenty of times but never followed thru...... i had forgotten about her.
fast forward to a couple nights ago.
i receive a phone call from the girl above, claiming she was about an hour away from where i was located at [fucking facebook] and asked me to join her for dinner. i agreed.
towards the end of our meal/conversation. she confesses to me that her 2nd daughter is mine. 8 months old. and she is basing all this on 1 facial feature of mine; dimples.
she claims the baby looks nothing like her or her bf [which is the biological father of her 1st daughter]. reddit... this baby was "conceived" during anal intercourse. she say's she is 95% sure the baby is mine. even despite the fact that last time we had sex was well... anal.
im lost reddit. i dont know if i want to go thru the paternity test. the baby looks NOTHING like me. im already in a relationship with a beautiful girl & i dont know what to do. | had anal sex with a girl who now claims i am the father of her 8 month old child & wants me to do a paternity test. what are the possibilities of getting somebody pregnant thru anal intercourse?? |
t3_ey1jw | Pets | My friend may be abusing his dog. Any advice? | My best friend in the world beats his dog. The dog is a Bluenose Pit and very stubborn and willful, as some breeds often can be, but I cannot abide by his treatment of the animal when it does make a mess or get out of control.
I have witnessed it only once myself, when the dog pooped the carpet in the morning and then wouldn't heel to him. The animal was cowering, and he picked it up by the scruff (too old and heavy to do that) and slammed its haunches onto the ground, yelling at it for being a 'BAD DOG'. Then, as the dog tried to scurry away he kicked it, hard in the gut. The dog yelped in pain, and I yelled at him to stop it immediately.
We got into a fight about disciplining the animal, and although I conceded it was not my dog to raise, I asked him to never raise a hand to it again when I am around. I won't stand for it.
The problem I have is when I am not around, I know that the dog will be beat. I believe in Corporal Discipline for tough dogs, like a good whack on the nose and firm 'NO!', etc...but not this. What should I do? Do I report it to the authorities? I don't want him to get in trouble, he is a generally good guy, my best friend, and already has had issues with the law in his youth. | My best friend in the whole world beats his stubborn dog when regular discipline fails, and I have asked him to never do it in my presence. What else should I do? |
t3_53jp9a | relationships | I [17m] want to know when works best for calling her [17f], but it's supposedly "lame" and "weak" to ask a girl that. What do I do? | So this girl and I have been talking for almost two months, and things have been going great - we have a lot of things in common, we've really hit it off (in-person and through texting), and we've both expressed strong interest through mutual friends. We've also talked about our interest in each other briefly. However, we haven't really defined the relationship. I'm trying to invite her to a movie in a couple of weeks (after talking about hanging out soon, that was the soonest that we could both do something) where I'm thinking about going for holding hands; maybe even talking about "us." Until then, I feel like it'd be wise build more of a base to our communication. By that, I mean to talk more on the phone.
We've talked once on the phone already, but neither of us have consistent schedules, so we've missed each other a few times. She doesn't like talking to me in front of her parents, because they're pretty intrusive in our communication sometines, so that's always something to consider. We're both pretty busy people, so it's not always convenient to talk on the phone. Should I ask her before calling her? I'd like to call her right now, but I don't know if she can talk at the moment.
I called her twice yesterday, and I really wanted to talk to her, but I didn't want to keep trying and be annoying. I also didn't want to put her on the spot by asking if she couldn't talk now and could just talk later. That night, she apologized about not answering (she was out for dinner when I called), but it didn't really help me with knowing when I should call her in the future. My friends said that it'd be weak/lame to ask her if I can call or when I can call, so I just don't know what to do. | Things have been great with crush, and I'm hoping to take things to the next level, but neither of us can talk on the phone consistently, so I don't know what to do. |
t3_1seb5a | relationships | My [20 F] SO [20 M] of 6 months lied to me about a folder of naked ex photos. | About a month before I met my boyfriend, he broke things off with a girl he had been casually seeing for the past four months. Now, although they were clear about the fwb arrangement, he developed pretty strong feelings and things didn't end well.
She's a very attractive girl, and I've always been fairly intimidated by her, even though they don't keep in contact. My SO would bring her up regularly for the first month or so, and always in a positive light. e.g. her fantastic tits, great music taste and so on. Honestly, I felt pretty shitty about it but I played it cool and tried really hard not to make an issue out of it.
Until now. Earlier we were going through photos on his computer and he stumbled across a big-ass collection of naked photos. That wouldn't really bother me normally but the way he reacted really freaked me out. He immediately apologised and told me he would delete the folder, and then proceeded to click a different folder and delete that instead. It was painfully obvious to me that he'd done that and when I mentioned it he insta-shutdown the computer and followed it up with something along the lines of "I just liked having the photos there because memories fade and I want to be able to remember her and our time together."
That sounds fine, but he's not keeping photos of them out at lunch, it's photos of sexual acts and her body. It just seems like he's not over his feelings for her. I feel super weird about that. Plus I'm shitty that he lied to me. How do I bring this up without sounding like a control freak? I want him to have his own life outside of me but I feel awful. | my SO lied to me about deleting naked photos of his ex and it seems like he's still got feelings. What should I do? |
t3_17lqio | AskReddit | Why can't all professors all just upload their syllabus online? It saves paper, and mostly frustration. | In college, the first day of classes typically involves the teacher handing out the most important piece of material for the semester, the syllabus, a.k.a the sheet that tells you how to get an A. However, this is the 21st century, and for as long as I can remember, people end up throwing away or out right ignoring the paper soon after receiving it, yet these same people never know what to expect in class without asking someone else. Save everyone the trouble. Make a link and pass it around. No useless photocopying and printing (and possible charges that come with that), and less hassle overall. | Fuck paper, upload instead. And for those without computers, ask for a paper copy, but if you're here on reddit then who does this really apply to? |
t3_3wk8cx | offmychest | I almost made an ass out of myself. | There is this girl in my class who talked to me for the first time the other day. I hadn't really paid much attention to her during the semester because I really did need to pay attention in class. Anyways I noticed how beautiful she was and was like "damn" in my head. We started chatting and it was chill. We left and I thought nothing of it until I told my buddy about her and he said I should go for it and ask her out.
Fast forward to today when the assignment is due and it popped into my head I should find out a bit about this chick (we had to make profiles for class). So I read her profile and nothing seemed out of the norm and I assumed I was good to go. Bracing myself for next weeks class to ask this beautiful girl out.
A few minutes go by and I start to think to myself, maybe I haven't done enough research. So I "Facebook" her and the first picture that pops up is of her boyfriend proposing to her...
My heart sank. But thankfully I didn't have to confront this shit in class because HOLY FUCK that would have been awkward.
Anyways | Finally talked to the girl in my class and was going to ask her out next class, turns out she's engaged. |
t3_nugt9 | relationships | I still have feelings for a girl, and I want to date others... | I am a 21 year old man, and this summer I was hanging out a lot with my friend (She is 19). We were in a play together and ended up spending the entire summer together. I quickly realized that I had strong feelings for her, but I knew she had a boyfriend. I ended up telling her how I felt, and she felt the same, she even said that she would break up with her boyfriend so we basically treated the situation as if we were dating.
As this continued, I quickly realized that she hadn't broken up with her boyfriend, and I talked to her about this, telling her I was comfortable being a party to her cheating. She told me that she and her boyfriend needed to "talk" before this could be finalized. I knew by now that I loved her, and I didn't want to lose her so I waited.
Long story short, I went back to school, with the promise that she would make a decision on the issue. Eventually she told me that I should date other girls, because she was "too busy with school" to make that decision. The time after that was very hard, I didn't get much sleep and I was depressed a lot, but I have gotten through the worst of it. 4 months later, and I haven't spoken to her since then, and I have met other women who I am interested in but I haven't dated anyone yet.
I realize that I can't be with this girl again, because she would probably screw me over like she was screwing her boyfriend over for the whole summer, but I am still have very strong feelings for her. I am trying to move on but I am also terrified that I will get hurt again. I guess I am looking for any advice. | I loved a girl, and I think she loved me too, but she stayed with her boyfriend. I am trying to move on but I still have strong feelings for her. |
t3_12cyga | dating_advice | Today I (22m) gave my number to a (19-21f) for the first time. | Today, I gave a girl I'd been looking at since the semester started. We've talked after class a few times, all of them leaving me feeling awkward, and anxious. We've been in class and been acquainted-ish since mid-August, but we hadn't spoken until a couple weeks ago.
Today, though, we had a test, so I knew I probably wouldn't be able to catch her after class, so I manned up and asked her for a pen, and after I was done with my test, I left my number on a small piece of paper and left it with the pen on her desk. | How long should I wait for her to contact me before giving up hope? And if she doesn't contact me, how do I respond when I see her in class? (I sit behind her.) |
t3_38wehl | Advice | Reddit, what's the best/safest way to download individual MP3 songs for free? | I just created my Reddit account the other day and I've been exploring. I really like /askreddit. Today I was listening to some music on Youtube (Grooveshark is gone, hence, no more playlists) and I started looking around for a song that I stumbled across on Youtube. There are lots of download-for-free websites but I do not want to infect my computer with any viruses or malware. I want to 'burn a cd' (yes I am over 30 and some of us would still like to do that haha). So... are there any trustworthy sites ? I don't want whole albums, just individual MP3 songs. Also, my car does better with CDs then my cellphone. No old CDs to rip from. If it's any constellation, I had an entire CD case with all my CDs that I have meticulously taken care of over the years and my ex-girlfriend stole the giant wallet when she left me. That's a whole other story though. | What is the safest way to download individual MP3 songs for free without hurting the computer (viruses) so you can burn a CD? |
t3_30b5jw | relationships | Me [33F] with my boyfriend [34 M] of 2 yrs-wants to kick me out of apartment, take away infant | My boyfriend and I have had lots of ups and downs over the past two years including having a nearly one year old daughter. Things have lately become quite turbulent and while they are at a cease fire as of right now, can flare up. Reading some of his messages to others recently, he has said to them about how he is going to take me off the lease, and take my daughter away. How likely is he to do this? I'm the one that works and pays for everything. The vehicle we share is also mine. Technically, he has no job, no house, and no vehicle. He wants to take away the baby because he says I am mentally unstable. I need to know how to protect myself in the case he feels the need to start things up again. | Boyfriend and I almost constantly fighting; he wants to kick me our and take our infant even though I am the one that is paying all the bills. |
t3_16gpsq | relationship_advice | [21/f] My ex [24/m] is back in my life. | My ex and I hit a rough patch in September and I broke up with him. I later found out that he started seeing another woman in August without my knowledge. I cut off all contact until the end of November after he told me that he was done with her. We spent some time together over Thanksgiving and then I called him and she answered the phone. Turns out they weren't broken up .
I did not make any effort to speak to him after that but he recently contacted me to apologize. We ended up talking for 6 hours and it was actually a relief. I finally got some answers and made peace with things. The only problem is that it made me realize that I still love him. Do I give him another chance or run for the hills? | He cheated and left. We haven't talked in months, he apologized and I still have a lot of feelings for him. Give him another chance? |
t3_1ljp5v | AskReddit | Reddit, I need to ask a favor of you, about a certain 90s sweatshirt. | As a kid, I had the most late-80s early-90s sweatshirt of all time. The fabric was blue-white tie-dye, and the colors of the design were in glorious neon, depicting a skeleton with a mowhawk and ~~sunglasses~~ a boombox, holding a skateboard IIRC, in the air with a giant nuclear explosion and flying bats behind him and the sole word, "Radioactive."
I left the sweatshirt in my past, only as a fond memory, never expecting to find it again, even in this day and age of the internet. However, my hope was rekindled when I met my girlfriend, and, through discussion, realized that we were soulmates; she had owned the same sweatshirt as a kid. I want to recreate it, and maybe give it as a matching gift to my odd, lovely lady friend.
So now I'm thinking, if we both owned it, chances are high that it came from a basic Target type store or the like. If anyone out there has any leads, or possesses this beautiful piece of children's clothing, I want good photos or scans. this is my favor I'm asking, as I know that if I can get help anywhere, it's through reddit. Upvotes are appreciated to spread the word.
~~In the meantime, I'm going to look through old family photos and see if there is a picture with me wearing it.~~ Found some! God bless you Redditors, every one. | I'm looking for a childhood sweatshirt as described in the first paragraph. Origins, leads, or photos would be great. |
t3_3iwucq | relationship_advice | Me (16/M) not sure if co-worker (17/F) is being flirtatious or is she just being friendly | First day at my new job at taco bell, so I had to do some computer training and This girl (we'll call her Veronica) comes into the office I was doing the the training at eating an apple strudel, (Not the toaster strudel kind) and introduces herself. I introduce myself to her, and she asks me if she looks good with her newly died pink hair.I said yes it looks nice, the she offers me some of her apple strudel, I accept, but instead of handing it to me she puts the strudel from where she was eating it by my mouth and I take a vite while she was holding it. Maybe its me but I found it odd to do that with someone you just met. She leaves, and I continue on with my training.
Throughout the day she stopped by and we talked but nothing really to important. ( She is 17 and I am 16)She was a lot more friendly to me than anyone else was at my work, then halfway through the day as I am walking passed her she pinches my ass, which genuinely surprised me , because I just met her that day, I turn around and she is laughing and I smile and chuckle as well just going along with it. I overheard her talking about having a boyfriend, but he asked her to visit him and she didn't because she would have to fly there. Again this confused me because why would she act like that if she has a boyfriend.
Is she into me, or am I just taking friendlyness as something more then what it is? | First day at work girl is more friendly then everyone else pinches my ass during the day, but mentions she has a boyfriend(Possibly long distance) |
t3_14m8ms | relationships | I [22 M] would like to discuss the potential of a more serious relationship with a woman [24 F], though it would be some time before we would be able to live in the same place, and I have no idea how to ask her. | A lady friend from college came back into my life in a big way, but she's getting her masters in a different state. She seems interested in being together (perhaps eventually) but I'm not sure how to navigate the issue without being too forward or assuming too much. So... how?
Some supporting details:
* We "dated" once but it was very brief and a bad time for both of us.
* We've known each other for about 3 years, but the new stuff started around June/July of this year.
* Everything rekindled over the summer after I had moved away from our college town to a new state and she had moved further away in-state to get her masters. We see each other as often as possible now and talk frequently.
* Our long-term goals and dreams seem to align closely, or at least with insignificant deviation.
* We are both very emotionally guarded and distant with respect to relationships, though we both seem to approach the subject often. We are very open about our emotions and thoughts when it is required, but do not divulge without cause or request.
* As mentioned, she is in a masters program in another state while I am fixed in my new city for a few years while I develop professionally. Eventually I will move, but not before she graduates (which presents the situation that if we were to become more involved and for the long-term, she will need to move to me; this is not ideal in my eyes since I would not want this situation in reverse).
* For my part, she is the only one that I'm having sex with; I am also fairly certain that I am her only sexual partner at the moment. Sex isn't that bothersome for me, as far as having multiple sexual partners (assuming safety and transparency are involved), whether that would factor into this situation or not. | Unsure how to breech a discussion about being more serious, though I'm curious to discuss future plans/ideas. How do I begin that conversation? |
t3_37qyq0 | relationships | My [24m] girlfriend [21f] checks up on her ex semi-frequently...should I be concerned? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. 4 months before we started dating, her ex of 1.5 years broke up with her. He was generally a dick and has anger issues (according to her)
We have a great relationship so far. We're very much in love and try to spend as much time as possible together. I've met her parents, and she's met mine. I've had no complaints.
I really couldn't sleep last night while my girlfriend was knocked out. Her phone was right beside. I have no reason not to trust her and I feel bad for looking, but I did. I skimmed over texts & Facebook and there was really nothing. But one thing that popped out was how often she checks her ex's FB. They're still Facebook friends (which I have no problem with) but it was a little surprising. We're a very open couple, especially about our past relationships and one thing I wanted to make sure before jumping in one with her was that she was completely over him, as they dated for a while. She said there are no feelings whatsoever and she has completely has moved on.
Anyways, turns out she searches for him maybe 4-7 times a month. I'm not sure if I'm making a big deal out of nothing (they haven't talked on FB in 4 months and there were no texts) but I'm wondering if that's a normal thing to do. Personally, I don't do that and I see that as a sign of her not moving on but is it possible to move on and be curious? Or am I completely wrong. | My girlfriend of 4 months checks on her ex-bf semi-frequently on Facebook. Says she's completely over him before we started dating. Should I be concerned or is it human nature? |
t3_z8awp | tifu | TIFU by almost blinding myself with hydrochloric acid | I work at a local pool during the summer. We have a toilet bowl cleaner (Misty Bolex) that is 23% hydrochloric acid. It's fairly strong. If you do so much as drip the diluted stuff that's in the toilet bowl onto your foot, you better be near a water faucet or you're gonna have a nice burn. We're probably not the smartest by using it, seeing as how most of us are in nothing but swim trunks. Anywho, I was assigned to clean the toilets one day. I grabbed all the stuff in one arm: paper towels, disinfectant, the toilet brush, and the toilet bowl cleaner. Now, the toilet bowl cleaner has one of those flip open lids with the spout, and whoever used it last didn't close the lid. So, as I go to set all the stuff up on the sink, the toilet bowl cleaner slips from my arm. Being the genius that I am, I looked straight down at it. As it hit the ground, a couple of nice, big drops shot out of the bottle, landing squarely in my left eye. I let out a little weird yelp-type thing and run outside, thinking I could yell at someone to get the key from my supervisor to get the eye-wash out of the chemical room, then realized what an idiot I was being and ran back inside the bathroom and immediately started flushing my eye out with water from the faucet. After 15 good minutes of flushing, my eye is swollen and still has 20/20 vision. | Got toilet bowl cleaner (23% hydrochloric acid) in my eye, freaked out, douched it like a mofo. |
t3_2h7g7s | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] for 1 and a half years, is mad at me because I changed my password before giving him my account. | My boyfriend wanted to borrow my account for a study related site (not social media). So I told him to hold on a minute while a found my password because I forgot it. Eventually I found it and realized it was kind of embarrassing, so I changed it and gave him my new password. He found out it was changed when he logged in, and he got mad at me because I "lied" to him. I told him I changed it because it was an embarrassing password, but he claimed that I don't trust him and I'm not comfortable enough around him.
He says that he tells me embarrassing things and the fact that I didn't share my real password with him shows that I don't respect him or care about him. He also called me an immature hypocrite. He's been going on and on and on for the past two days.
After apologizing many times and him saying that it's not enough, I finally told him he's overreacting and making a big deal out of something small. Later he sent me a long text pretty much repeating his whole argument for the past two days, and I didn't answer.
I called him a couple hours later and now he's not answering me. Typing this made me realize how childish this fight is, but I really don't know what to do. | My boyfriend is mad that I changed an embarrassing password and gave him a new one, and believes this means I don't trust or care about him. |
t3_szh8a | relationships | Guy + Me + Alcohol = Awesome. Guy + Me + Sober = Awkward. | Me, 23. Him, 24. So, long story short reddit, I've known this guy for a few years and have always been interested in him. However, we never got a chance to date, and now I am moving away in a month for school in a city 12+ hours away. We never really hung out a lot or spent a lot of time together until in the last year in which we enjoy most of our time together at parties, getting drunk.
Recently, these occasions have come up once a week, where him and I will see each other at drunken gatherings, hit it off nicely. By the end of each of these evenings, we always end up hugging or kissing one another good-bye, going for a stumbling walk holding hands, he even stayed at my house the other night where he respectfully slept in a different room, being all gentlemanly and whatnot.
Here's where things get... Weird. Whenever we're sober around one another, we're awkward as all hell. Nothing is discussed about the night before, what happened or our actions/desires towards each other. We can casually talk to one another, but any time spent alone will eventually lead into uncomfortable silence, where one of us will just decide to depart from the situation, leaving things feeling uncomfortable and seemingly unclear.
I guess firstly I should ask if this is even worth while getting involved with someone if I am moving away within the next month, and secondly if it is worth it, how do I solve this uncomfortable sober interaction? I enjoy his company, I like being around him and our conversations are pleasant, I'm extremely attracted to him, it's just that we're more comfortable/confident whilst drunk, but cannot overcome that in sobriety. | Guy and I hit it off great while drunk, socially awkward penguin sober. Also moving in a month, not sure what to make of it all. |
t3_1kj7la | offmychest | I'm emotionally attached to my coworker. | I don't have anyone to share this with.
Today was his last day at work. He is going off to college. I am happy for him but I am really going to miss the friendship we have developed. He was such a joy to work with.
I went out and bought him cake and a thank you card. He gave me the longest and tightest hug ever...unlike anything my bf has given me since our early dating days. For a quick moment as we were finally pulling away I wanted to kiss him. I don't know what came over me. We are both in relationships. I live with my bf in fact. He is also 5 years younger than I am. It was such a quick urge that it was gone as soon as it came. I felt like crying immediately after he let me go. I did tear a bit.
I don't know if I am sad because he was like my best friend these past three months or because I have absolutely no friends where I live now. Maybe I even came to like him more than friends. I just know I really looked forward to seeing him at work if we were scheduled together. I will miss him very much.
Side note: I feel like a scumbag for enjoying that hug so much. My relationship has been rocky for months. I wish I had friends. :-( | Coworker and I shared an embrace. Both in relationships and he is going back to college in another state. Feeling sad now that my only friend is gone. |
t3_4uq8yb | dogs | [VENT] Somebody tried to steal our dog, and its turned our life upside down. | This might be kind of long, but I'm so upset right now and I can't seem to keep my kind off of it.
I came home last night at 9pm. I went to unlock my door, and I couldn't. Something was broken off inside the lock. I looked the door over, and somebody had mangled it. They repeatedly tried to kick it in, pry it open, force the lock, and they broke the screen door getting it off the hinges. I can barely open and close it now because it's so messed up on its frame. I think the only reason they couldn't get inside is because it's not wood, it's metal, and it's deadbolted.
I have 3 doors to my house. All three are facing the road. The other 2 were not tampered with at all. The main door, the one you can see my TV through the window of, wasn't touched. The side door to my laundry room was. And why? Because that's where our dog Jester stays while we are at work.
He's been traumitized. He never barked at anybody, minus the occasional other dog while he's on a leash. Now he barks at every single person outside. Every last one. He's terrified. He has gone in 1 day from the sweetest social butterfly to being terrified of everybody who doesn't live in his house. Because somebody beat on that door while he cowered in the corner, alone.
My significant other is devastated. Jester was her birthday gift from me while she was going through chemotherapy last year. Chemotherapy which means she may never have kids. Jester is her child, and somebody tried to steal him.
I'm furious. I can barely contain my anger. The door is the least of my concerns, because what this person did to our family's sense of safety is far worse.
I have been wanting a second dog for a long time. I'm now *strongly* considering a guard dog breed instead of a small companion. Does anybody have any advice on this? Has this happened to anybody before? | Somebody tried to steal our dog. Now he's terrified of others and my SO and I are in awful mindstates. |
t3_101iji | relationships | I'm [22m] in love with my best friend [23f]. Help. | I'm in love with a girl who has been my best friend for over eight years. I don't know what her feelings are towards me, I'm afraid if I bring it up that it could jeopardize our friendship. She has a boyfriend but I always get the feeling that she would like to be more than just friends. I don't know if I'm reading too much into the small things, so maybe you could help me interpret.
I don't really know how to put this all together, so here it goes. We were best friends all throughout high school, super close, would tell each other everything, hang out every day and even sleep over at each others house. But it never went past friends.
A year or two after high school we got drunk one night at a friends house and slept together. This caused a falling out between us that lasted 6-8 months. We've been fine the last couple years, but we don't spend nearly as much time together as we used to. Until recently.
Lately we've been hanging out a lot again. She also just got an apartment with her boyfriend. I should also mention that her boyfriend and I are friends and have been since before they started dating. Anyway, I think that's enough backstory.
So we've been seeing each other a ton, and it's usually just us. I'm starting feel like we're more than friends and here's why. Whenever we hug now it's always a bit too long and she always holds very tight. Anytime we sit down she'll sit next to me and scoot in as close as possible and often will hold my hand or get under my arm. When we walk together by our selves, we hold each others hand. She texts me good night often and usually when we depart from hanging out an 'I love you dude' is shared. The last couple times when me and her boyfriend have hung out she was at work, and every time when she finished work she would text or call me first. I could go on, but I'm going to stop there because this is already a wall of text. | best friend has a boyfriend but I feel like she wants to be more than friends, and I am completely open to this but I don't want to ruin any relationships. |
t3_2v8q6j | relationships | Am I (F, 24) in a abusive relationship (w M, 25)? | I've been dating this guy for a few months (about nine to be precise).
He's very kind to me and is very tender, tells me he loves me all the time and really seems to feel it. He does not have much time to spend with me since his work is taking most of his time even in the evenings, so I often get to see him only two hours in the week.
He is often in a good mood, but when he isn't, he sometimes calls me just to yell at me and ask me for help but then chastises me because "I suck and I don't understand what he is going through anyway." He always calls about an hour after to apologise and tell me he should treat me in a better way.
I am currently undergoing a depression after having been harassed at my workplace over the beginning of the year. He has stood by me through the whole ordeal, but has recently begun to let me know he feels I should "try harder to get on with life" because it weighs on him too much. He also often tries to pressure me into having sex, and even though I do not give in (except once but my feelings afterwards scared me out of ever repeating that mistake), it does make me feel guilt and wonder whether I am a proper girlfriend.
Whenever I talk about him to my girlfriends, one of them always seems to feel like I should leave him and tells me I speak like a battered woman. I feel like they exaggerate as they do not know him and I only speak of my relationship when things turn bad, even though my boyfriend is I think a good person at the core. | My boyfriend is a sweet person with an unpredictable temper, my friends tell me I sound like I am in an abusive relationship but I feel they exaggerate the whole thing. |
t3_3k3h0n | loseit | [Progress] M/20/6'0" [308lbs > 175lbs = 133lbs] (7 months) One of these stupid New Years resolutions | Hey fellow loseit redditors!
First of all I just want to get the first time posting / long time lurker stuff behind me.
Let's start with my [Progress Pictures] for all the people not willing to read my little novel about how i started my journey.
And now we might as well get right into it. I pretty much grew up being overweight/obese as a child at the age of 10 I was probably around 70kg (154lbs) and last New Years Eve i peaked at 140kg. (308lbs) being only 20 years young and already being a bit into fitness (I played American Football as a lineman in what you can probably call a d2 team in Germany) this was a wake up call.
The same christmas I got myself a stationary bike and thought that, if I'm already using it for 2 hours a day, I might aswell fix my diet.
So I looked up almost every ridiculous diet, that the internet would provide me and found the **4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss** and that is pretty much how it all started.
I adapted the **slow carb diet**, used my "homegym" consisting of a stationary bike, two 20lbs dumbells and a 100lbs barbell and had my own workout routine that obviously consisted of more than the in the book recommended 4 hours a month.
I did cut out most carbs and sugar without a problem and never craved them again. 3 Months ago I joined a gym and now I'm working out 6-7 days a week for 2-3 hours pushing myself harder every day. This is actually the first time in my life that I'm showing disciplin and dedication towards something.
I thought I should share some basic information about my weightloss with you but since I'm no native speaker and a first time poster, I'll try to answer every question you guys got.
I really want to thank every single one of you here helping me through plateaus and hard times! | Would've never been able to do this without you guys and wanna give you back what I can. Lost 133lbs in 7months AMA |
t3_12ogrx | relationships | How to manage my [23] social life when my BF [24] is in super-saving mode and doesn't want to go out? | I'm a 23 year old lady and my boyfriend is 24. My BF of five months is my favorite person to spend time with. I respect and adore him and would spend the majority of my free time with him if I could (and I do!). The situation is that I'm much more financially stable than him right now.
I could afford to go out pretty much each weekend night and go out to eat a few nights a week. He can barely afford one night out every couple of weeks. Basically, this leads to lots of romantic nights one on one with walks and lots of gazing into each others eyes. Wonderful. I almost couldn't be happier.
Thing is, I'm starting to feel like I'm giving up my life too much to be with him. He has a more dominant personality than me, and I get worried that I'm losing myself in him. He reasonably doesn't like when I pay for him in front of friends, so we don't go out very often as of late.
How can I still get my social needs met and not be entirely reliant on him for hanging out? I would feel horrible abandoning him at his home to hang out with friends, especially when most of our friends are mutual. Sometimes I worry that I'm losing my identity, and I also want to make the most of my early 20s, by not staying in all the time.
Please advise! | Boyfriend can't afford to go out often and I'm afraid I'm starting to lose myself in his strong personality. How do I meet my social needs without abandoning him, especially because we have many mutual friends? |
t3_1fmt81 | travel | Traveling, a few questions, (planning a trip two-three years in advance! Excited!) | Hello there! I'm a person, well.. An american person.. well.. american-italian! (*heh*(s) in a walder frey voice.) I am planning to go to mainly, all of europe in three years, I'm relatively young, I'll be going on my nineteenth birthday. And Plan to visit many of the areas for around a year, perhaps staying in some for longer. This has been a life goal, Reddit. I was curious, sincirely, where should I go on my trip to a foreign continent, paris, london?
What should I do, what should I see, what foreign customs should I follow, and what are good resources to learning foreign languages? I have many more questions, and dear apologies if some of these have been answered before.. Few more things.
I am starting a fund. 50 dollars a week into a savings account. Three years, presumably this'll be enough. As I (Hopefully) plan to stay in style, would this be enough (in eventuality) to support a year-long trip? This being in four-three star hotels, and hopefully eating out at each destination.
So, so sorry if this has been asked before, I'm an absolute idiot at searching things, and I'm new to Reddit. | Where should I go, eh?(in all of europe) What do I see? and more rabble. |
t3_wn6rg | AskReddit | My grandmother is a victim of internet bullying - how can I help her? | Sounds weird but if anyone has experience working with older folks, especially in elderly communities, you would be privy to some real high school drama bullshit. I provide care for my grandmother. Unfortunately, with the added, "benefit" of Facebook and other outlets I have run into a particular pickle. It seems that the name calling & gossiping from the days of yore have transcended to hate-laden wall posts, nasty e-mails etc. She cries over gossip (directly about her and indirectly about her), land/property disputes, family allegiances and is being held responsible for the type of life some of her children/grandchildren are leading. I have just advised her to leave the social networks and net alone regarding those issues & just enjoy everything else. I have read up on internet bullying and searched AskReddit but is this applicable to someone that is 70+ y/o? Surely I am biased as it is my grandma but with the advent of internet bullying awareness, I really wish I knew how to help. | Grandma is showing signs of depression because other old folks and family bad mouth her online. Help/advice please. |
t3_3rbqol | relationships | Me [21 M] with my friend [19 F] of a few months, we're getting romantic and I'm afraid of messing things up | I've known this girl for at least a few months now, we've only kind of had casual small talk up until maybe a week ago. I really like her, like a lot. She likes almost everything that I do, she's extremely pretty, and I feel super comfortable around her. She even likes the things that most people hate about me. I'm honestly surprised at how well we mesh together.
I really really do not want to mess this one up. I just got out of a 5 year relationship which was awful now that I reflect on it. I'm really scared of messing up this one as well. Basically she's already staying over at my place and we aren't even technically dating yet. I don't know if that's a bad sign or not but I personally really like it.
I mostly want to start with this and answer questions about the relationship. Please Reddit, help me not fuck this up. | Starting to get romantic with a friend, she's already staying over at my place and we're technically not dating yet. I don't want to fuck it up, please help. |
t3_1vi8y0 | relationships | My ex [26 F] is engaged after 8 months broken up with me [27 M/F]. | I met my ex-gf a few years ago at work. She was seeing someone at the time and cheated on him with me (I didn't know about this until much later -- in fact I found out that she has cheated on almost every bf). After 2 years of dating we broke up when I could tell she was no longer interested. She had also been drinking heavily, lying about drug use, physically / verbally attacking whilst drunk, deteriorating in her personal life, abusing animals, and there was strong evidence of her cheating on me.
I was pretty torn up about the breakup (even though I knew it was for the best), mostly because she had at one point been very into me and convinced me that we would get married. She is also the hottest girl I've ever been with.
Immediately after the breakup I did NC. I moved roles at work and went to a different location and heard she had found a new bf. I similarly had found a new gf and have not really thought about her for several months. Unfortunately, I am now moving back to my old location (where she is located).
My old coworkers have told me that she has been stalking me on FB, asking about my new gf, etc. I never thought much about it until today when I found out she was engaged after dating her new bf for less than 9 months. Engaged. I will see her on Tuesday and this just happened today.
I have healed / been very happy lately and don't know why this is upsetting me but it is. How should I deal with seeing her? Why is this bothering me when I knew she had a bf in the past and it did not? | Ex of 2 years is now engaged after dating new bf for only a few months. NC and have been fine but now upset and confused on how to handle seeing her. |
t3_1k9235 | relationships | How do I[20f] convince my husband[23m] to be more adventurous sexual-wise? | Backstory-
My husband and I have been together for over five years, and have been married for just over one. We have always had a long distance relationship before our marriage (the longest time physically together before getting married was for about 5 days). Because of our unique situation, we never had sex before we got married. We had fooled around, but had never actually had sex.
For our first year of marriage, he was gone 8 months of the time (he is in the military and was deployed). We were together the first four months before he had to go away. We finally had sex, but now that I look back on it, it was pretty mundane. I could count on one hand the positions we used, and still have fingers to spare. I tried to get him to take a shower with me, but he refused.
Now that he is finally back (he got back from deployment a week ago today) we have made love a grand total of one time. Through this entire deployment, he would send me messages of all the things he wanted to do when he got back, and they sounded great! However, now that he actually back, we are back to that same mundane routine.
I would like to make love other than in our bed and to be more adventurous. How can I continue to try and persuade him? | My husband is not very adventurous in bed, and now that he is back from war I want to convince him otherwise. |
t3_avisk | AskReddit | Has anyone here who is 'ugly' been able to attract and keep a hot girl? | I've stopped lying to myself. After a lifetime of girls straying away and people finally telling me to my face "You're ugly" all the time, I've finally accepted the fact. It's been hell but I am hoping I can still salvage a decent woman.
I'm 24 and in great shape (I work my ass off for what I have). I don't have much else going for me in the looks department. So anyways, I started seeing a very hot petite blonde girl about a month ago somehow and we started dating.
What gets me is she always makes fun of random ugly people to me (which angers and confuses me) and is very superficial in the looks department. She holds looks in very high regard. I fear now she is only with me through pity and is trying to slip away. I want to hold on to her, but I don't know if that's possible if she can't get over looks. Am I an idiot? | I'm an ugly guy with a hot girl, but she's slipping away from what I believe is my looks. Has anyone else been able to hold on to a girl like this? |
t3_3k3897 | tifu | TIFU by asking my crush out | This didnt happen all that recently. I'm in highschool, throwaway account.
So I'm really good friends with this girl. She's a little weird and we hang out a lot and we kinda flirted a little. Things are going well - I'm nearly certain she likes me as all her friends tease her about me and I've caught her doing that crush look sorta thing.
Eventually i start going to her locker with her, it's pretty private there. I ask her for a hug, she says "Of course". That happens for a week or so until i gather the courage to ask her if she likes me. "Well you're really cute". I take that as her just being cryptic and ask her out the next day. She says "Yes of course!" and hugs me.
Where's the FU I hear you ask? Patience. Anyway. After school I'm walking with her and i say something like "I can't believe you said yes, i must be dreaming".
Shit gets awkward and shes just silent. Fuck.
Couple of days later everything is fine. We're friends like before just like the awkward thing never happened.
Now, another guy asks her out two weeks later. They're now together and I'm left in the lurch. The worst part? She's even more flirty with me and is now obsessed with poking me and touching me in general. Her friends dont really like her boyfriend mostly because he's a perverted jerk. | Girl seems to like me, I ask girl out, she sends mixed signals, gets boyfriend two weeks later, flirts with me even more. |
t3_3tqd9n | relationships | I [18 M] messed up with my [17 F] partner | I fucked up, and I need help.
I've been with my SO for 11 months. She's been completely, 100% honest with me about everything in her life. She's absolutely fantastic and perfect, and I love her more than life itself. She has some confidence, self-worth, depression, etc issues that I've helped her with, and she considers herself not good enough and very unsure a lot of the time. This is part of the reason why my fuck up probably hurts her extra.
Here's the fuckup. She's been 100% honest with me about all her problems. About a month ago, she was feeling insecure about being an important part of my life, since I moved off to college and was busy regularly. I spent a lot of time then ensuring her that she was still very important to me, and updating her on what I've been doing. There was, however, one thing I was stressed about that I didn't tell her. I was stressed about my grades in classes that I'm supposed to be great at. As a STEM major, i felt it was in my personality to be really great at my STEM classes, but I wasn't doing well in them by my standards. as a defense mechanism, i pushed away my problems and didn't think about them. i lied to myself and told myself that everything was ok to get through the day.
Last night, that didn't work anymore. I broke down and told her everything about my grades and how stressed i was, and how i couldn't lie to myself or her anymore. she, probably rightfully, feels like i was lying to her. she's hurt. she says she feels like she doesn't know who i am anymore, because not only have i never not told her the complete truth before, but because it's not like to worry about my grades so much like this. i dont know what to do. i dont want her to feel like i dont care about her and invalidate our long relationship because i was an idiot and hid from my problems. I figured this was the place to come | Hid from my problems, hurt my S/O in the process. She feels like she doesn't know me anymore |
t3_4puqea | personalfinance | Difficulty Navigating A CLI With my Credit Union, Any Advice? | I have a credit card though Alliant Credit Union. I've had the card for a little over six years now, and my credit limit is still $500, the same as when I first got the card.
I've been trying to figure out how to get a credit limit increase without luck. For reference their website [says] to call the main number and talk to an agent.
Here's what I've done so far:
1. Called the number listed on a website, talked to an agent. She transferred me to an automated card services menu, which said to "call your financial institution for a credit limit increase."
2. Called the main number back and explained I wanted to get a CLI, and that I had been transferred to an automated card services menu which said to contact the bank. Agent claimed Alliant Credit Union doesn't offer/service credit cards, and that I must be mistaken (lol).
3. I tried calling Alliant again and asked about a CLI, this agent recognized that they do offer credit cards as a service, but insisted that they don't have limits higher than $500. Again, I'm pretty sure this is insane.
4. I tried calling back again, got in touch with another agent, who claimed there's no real way to increase my CLI, and that I just have to cancel my old card and reapply for a new one. I don't want to do this if possible because it will negatively impact my credit score. I'm also fairly certain they can offer a CLI since they say so on the damn website haha.
They have three branches, but two are limited to employees of United Airlines, which I'm not. The other is about four hours from where I live, and it would be pretty difficult to get there. | My credit union (Alliant) doesn't seem to know how to process a CLI. Has anyone successfully gotten a CLI through Alliant, or have any suggestions on what I should be doing? |
t3_1p22z2 | relationships | I[21/M] Can't tell if she[21/F] is playing me or not. | So I just met this girl a few weeks ago in college. She is INCREDIBLY flirtsy. The first night she saw me she expressed interest in me and the first time we really talked she slept with me that night. (Not sex, but other). Even though she was inviting me to sleep over her place almost every night after, she began flirting with other guys right in front of me.
A few days ago she asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship with her. Her only requirement is that she likes being "shown off", treated out to dinner, etc. She also added that she **wants a relationship with me**, but **does not want a relationship status** on facebook.
So I can't tell if she just wants me to take her out and spend money on her while she still has the option to go out with other guys or what. Thoughts? | New girl wants me to treat her, be with her, yet doesn't want a facebook status and is very flirtsy with other guys already. |
t3_4yq0eb | relationships | Should I[20/f] cut him[20/m] off completely after years of leading me on? | I've been on and off with a friend of mine for five or six years now. Every time we start to talk and get romantic with each other, he starts sending me mixed signals and ends up cutting me off for months at a time for someone else. Once he's broken up with them, he adds me back and messages me asking to be friends again and for me to forgive him. I always do because I genuinely care about him and have feelings for him. The cycle repeats itself and I just get led on and hurt. I want to continue to be his friend and maybe actually work on a relationship, but I'm starting to feel like he's never going to change and I'm always going to be the girl he comes back to when he's heart broken and lonely. I've told him all of this before and he continues to do it with little empathy towards me. Any advice? Should I just cut him off? | I've been on and off with a close friend of mine for years now and he's constantly leading me on and cutting me off once he gets into a relationship, only to come back when they break up. What do I do? |
t3_18lqvo | offmychest | Seriously? You can't have just said that when we met? | I've been trying to find new roommates at my college, and I found a 4-person room with only two people that sounded like it could be nice.
I talked to one of them and she told me that the other roommate rarely actually comes to her room as she lives at home, but is (as a freshman) required to have a room on campus. So it'd be 2 people in a room made for 4. Seems legit. The girl I talked to seemed nice enough. We seemed compatible. She asked when I was planning on moving in, and so on and so forth. It seemed all but set in stone.
I got all excited, told my friends and family. Told my former roommate (and friend here) who was understanding of why I was moving (that's another story for another day) and willing to help me move and arrange my room, even.
Just now I received an email from my hall director saying that my potential new roommate had emailed him and thought that we weren't a good match as roommates. Okay.
FUCKING BULLSHIT. WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT TO MY FACE.
(And yes, I know that this is somewhat ironic of me, but I'm just venting, not passive-agressively rejecting someone living space).
Well, whatever. I think I'm going to move into an open two-person room. I'll have a lot of space, and maybe someone will want to move in, maybe not. But if I have a problem with any potential roommate, I'll tell them BEFORE I tell the hall director. Holy fuck. | Looking for new roommate, potential roommate asks when I can move in, then emails the hall director telling him not to let me move in. This irks me. |
t3_2omu4a | relationships | I [20F] recently broke up with long-term boyfriend and was looking forward to enjoying being single for a while, but am keen on the guy (22M) I've been seeing... | Recently broke up with my boyfriend (23M) of nearly 3 years, don't regret our relationship but it was wearing away at my own mental health constantly worrying about him, what he was going to do for work now, if he's happy, is he okay etc. etc. He had a lot of mental health problems and was always unemployed and between jobs.
2 months of being single and I'm enjoying myself, reconnecting with old friends, making new ones and just generally having a blast and being young :) I said to myself that this is what I want to do for a while before I settle down again.
Part of my single-person-bucket-list was to try Tinder - I never intended to meet anyone from it, was just fun chatting to different people, however this one guy really stood out so when he asked to hang out, I agreed.
We get along really well and have a lot in common (which is hard to find for a weirdo like me), and initially I thought this was just going to be a FWB type situation, which I was/am totally okay with.
From a few things he said initially I thought that was the kind of situation he wanted as well, but the last time we hung out, we did very cute, coupley stuff, which was lovely, and he said a few things that indicated he might want more than what I thought initially.
I don't know whether to bring up our intentions and have a conversation about it and clear the air, or just let things happen naturally? I guess I'm worried we'll have the talk, I'll express that I don't want a serious relationship and he won't want to see me again/continue our relationship, and I'll miss out on a really great opportunity. At the same time, I don't want things to progress to a point where he asks for us to be exclusive and I feel obligated to agree. | Just got out of a serious relationship, enjoying being single, worried my FWB might want more than FWB and not sure I'm ready for that, but don't want to miss out on a great guy, what do? |
t3_tc057 | dating_advice | How can I find out her feelings for me best? | So I've known this girl casually at my high school for a few months now, and it's at the point where I'm not in the friendzone, but any interest to be more than friends isn't clear... yet. She's attractive, and is extremely fun to be around, but has extremely strict Asian parents, leading to her being a study freak. We're in a couple of classes, sit together at lunch, have similar friends, etc., but I'm not sure exactly how to find out whether or not she likes me as more than a friend. The only things that would signal that are some occasional embraces that are initiated from her 90% of the time, usually when I'm not looking,(I'm 6'4, she's around 5'4, lol). In the past, I've been pretty direct about whether or not I'm interested in someone, but this time I'm at a loss as to the right course. | I want to become more than friends, what is good advice to do that without creating something extremely awkward among our group of friends |
t3_10px4b | dating_advice | Change of heart or am I misinterpreting signs? (x-post) | Long story short: Me[21] Became friends with a girl (about a year), fell for the girl[21]. See signs of interest. Eventually ask girl on a date, she says no, that she isn't ready for a relationship, and that it wouldn't be fair to me. Saying she thought we were just having fun. Explains that last relationship was messy and that her ex really messed with her head. I say ok. We continue to be friends.
After asking her for a date I basically tell myself she was letting me down easy and that I was just seeing what I wanted to see, rather than cling to some hope that she really was being honest.
Although we have become even closer and things have appeared to change. Without inquiring she has told me very intimate personal things about herself as well as that she "wants to focus on school without any distractions" she is planning on graduating ahead of schedule.
The thing that really makes me wonder is all the subtle cues that weren't present before. We spend hours texting, she is responding back to my flirtatious advances, we now hug each other after parting ways now, she dresses more femininely when we are planning to spend time together, she asks me her opinion on clothing. She also responds to my teasing and laughs at my stupid jokes. Or will sit next to me rather than across from me, or i will look at her and make a face and she will make one back. She remembers small details about me that most people would forget.
Some days it is obvious we are clearly flirting (no sexual remarks) and other days it seems like she is to busy to even grab a coffee or to just chill (she is a very busy person).
So my question is: Is she just being friendly with me or is possible that she is responding back to my advances? And lastly she isn't the type of girl to play "games" so I don't think she is just toying with me. | Friend says she doesn't want a relationship, is focusing on school, but then I see signs of interest from her. So I am confused is this normal to flirt with a friend or is she reciprocating back because she has interest? |
t3_4gpcgc | relationships | College friend[20F] keeps cancelling plans with me [21M], that she planned, last minute. | So a few years back I met a girl in the same class as me, we'll call her Becky. We were from the same town but never met and became friends. We would hang out often, usually just us two(grab lunch together, text, go to the same parties, etc), and had a few classes together over the next year. During my final semester I started to feel something more than friendship towards her and brought it up. Feelings were not reciprocated and we ended it at that, agreeing that we are friends. She ended up spending the next couple months abroad.
Fast forward 6 months we chat and hang out a few times after she returns. Eventually she starts dating someone and we do not chat for a bit. At this point it feels like we are acquaintances now. Two months ago we chat on Facebook and we make plans to hang out. Day of, I text her and she says she has a cold/ wants to reschedule. I say that's fine and to let me know when she's feeling better. Two weeks later she messages me wanting to grab lunch. Day before she cancels saying something came up. A week later she texts me again asking to hang out, which she then cancels last Minute saying she feels sick. Once again she does it another time this week as well.
This has been bugging me the last few weeks as I just can't figure out why she would bother seeking me out making these plans to only cancel them later. Since last month, all contact was initiated by her. Anyone have insight as to what makes this happen? 4 times in almost 2 months is bit strange. It sucks feeling like ive lost a friend without a reason. Is it possible I've done something? | made friends with a girl in college who I had a crush on. Stayed friends and she went abroad. Now she's back and keeps making plans with me only to cancel last minute every time. |
t3_18pelb | relationship_advice | [30/f]Getting cold feet about moving in with fiancé in Tokyo [47/m] | We met last year when I was visiting friends in Tokyo. He's Japanese, I'm British. He's older than me, and while I was initially a little worried about the age-gap, we started dating. We've been taking it in turns to visit each others country. When I am with him, it feels absolutely perfect and right, when we are apart, it feels pretty wrong.
He proposed to me in September at the top of Tokyo Tower, I said yes. It has always been my intention to move to Japan eventually- it's why I went to University, it's why I have been studying for my TEFL, but now that it's getting closer, I'm starting to panic. I'm going to miss my family, my niece and nephew, my parents, my friends. But if I don't go, I know I will regret it, and just become the miserable spinster Aunt who will become bitter that she never followed her heart.
Is this feeling normal? It's a big move, I know, and I'm taking a risk. But do I go for it, or do I listen to my inner fears and play it safe? | fiancé lives in Tokyo, I am in the UK, about to move there to be with him but feeling a bit overwhelmed and scared at the prospect right now. |
t3_2dmywh | relationships | Me [20 M] wants to apologize to a [19 F] friend of 4 months | Let me start by saying I'm not exactly the most socially competent person due to shyness and anxiety so I mess up this type of situation all the time. So this all started at the beginning of the summer where a very sweet girl at work introduced herself to me and instantly became very friendly to me whenever I saw her at work. Me being the social genius I am, didn't know how to respond at times and I ignored her or just wasn't super friendly. Towards the end of summer she seemed really down and stopped talking to me almost all together. I was going to give her an apology, but one I wasn't sure exactly how to word it, and two I missed my chance as she quit right before I was going to tell her. My only out now is to get her facebook and send her a message. I know in person communication is always preferred but I have no other way to reach her right now and need to get this off my chest so I don't have to think about this for the rest of the year and potentially salvage a friendship/relationship. Since I only have this one sub par option, what should I include in my message? | I want to apologize to someone my unintended unfriendliness hurt. Options are limited to facebook at this point and would like help not messing up the apology as well. |
t3_3g0a17 | dogs | [Discussion] Treating canine lymphoma with prednisone--what should I expect? | Hi, all. I don't know if this is the right place for this but I'm hoping it won't hurt to ask. My 4 yr-old white shepherd mix Sage was diagnosed with lymphoma earlier this summer. Our diagnosis was kind of unofficial because I decided to forgo further diagnostic testing (the only other thing that could cause her symptoms is a tick disease that doesn't exist in this part of the country). Without the diagnostic testing we don't know what stage her cancer is in, but the vet estimated she's in stage 3 or 4. The only treatment option I can afford is prednisone; she's taking 60mg per day (she's 65 lbs).
Right now Sage is doing pretty well. She drinks a ton of water and has to pee very frequently, her appetite is larger than usual, and she has low stamina (gets tired quickly on walks). When we first put her on the prednisone, her swollen lymph nodes went down. After several weeks, the sleep deprivation caused by taking her out to pee multiple times a night was getting to be unbearable, so we lowered the dosage by 20mg. After this, her nodes swelled up again, so we went back to the original dosage and they have not changed in size (I'd say they're about the size of a small walnut). As I said earlier, her overall condition seems alright, but I'm really worried by how quickly she tires out, and I have no idea what to expect as her condition worsens. It's terrifying, not knowing how much more time I'll have with her.
I know this is a delicate, sad, subject, but I'm posting this hoping to hear from people who have experiences with canine lymphoma, especially lymphoma treated with prednisone. It will be comforting to hear what other people have experienced. Thank you. | My dog has lymphoma, not sure what stage. We're treating with prednisone and I'd love to hear about others' similar experiences. |
t3_2yr6f7 | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend [19F] connects anime with a bad fight we had about a year ago, since then, can't bring herself to watch it, despite still wanting to take on one of my interests. | I've never really made a post here so I'll just do it in dot-points.
\- My girlfriend tried to pick up anime (I recommended Cowboy Bebop), shortly after we met because she wanted to take on one of my interests.
\- About a month of her trying to get into it, she and I had a small argument about it.
\- She said she wasn't enjoying it, and kept talking badly about it. I told her to not force herself to watch something she doesn't like because I don't like people slandering something I enjoy, and if she was that far into it and she only ever had bad things to say, there's no point in her watching anyway. She stops watching it.
\- Nearly a year goes by when we talk about anime again. She says she *was* liking it but after our argument she just hates the idea of anime now. Says every time I bring up Corgis, Anime or Cowboy Bebop up in conversation, she feels bummed out and crummy.
\- Says she still wants to watch it but can't because the argument we had puts anime it all in a bad light.
Keep in mind, we have plenty of other mutual interests, and that we've adopted interests of the other person (Shows, hobbies, etc) and that the fight hasn't had any other impact on the rest of our relationship.
How can I help her bring Cowboy Bebop away from those feelings we had from that argument? | GF has a connection between bad fight we had and anime. What can I do to help break the emotional connection she has with an argument we had, and anime? |
t3_3terlo | tifu | TIFU by singing Happy Birthday to my Step-Dad | This happened a few months ago…
Earlier this summer, my step-dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer with approximately 3 months to live. All around terrible situation. But my mom and him generally have pretty good attitudes about life and made the most of his time left.
Well, about a month after his diagnosis, his birthday comes around. I live out of the country and there's about an 8-hour time difference, so to call and wish him a Happy Birthday we need to wait until the evening. The same day I was getting together with some friends, so I had been drinking for most of the day. When my wife and I get home, it's time to call and wish him Happy Birthday. We call the home phone and no one picks up, so we just leave a message with us singing, "Happy Birthday!" When we get the end, I'm not thinking clearly due to the alcohol and feel that I need to say something more, so I add "and many more!" I immediately realize my FU, yell out, "Oh shit!" and hang up. I am mortified and my wife just looks at me and shakes her head.
At this point, I call my mom on her cell phone. I know that she has a pretty good sense of humor, so I think that she'll understand. She's driving, so I ask her to pull over and tell her what I did. She's laughing hysterically at my FU. Later she tells me that when she got home, she asked my step-dad if he listened to the messages. He just starts cracking up. I was so glad that they didn't take it badly! | Sang "Happy Birthday!" to my terminally ill step-dad, adding "and many more!" to the end. |
t3_38kgw6 | relationships | My [26 F] girlfriend of 8 months hit me [29 M] | Last night my girlfriend hit me – she slapped me (not in the face thankfully) as hard as she could in a fit of rage while screaming at me. I promptly left. She's been calling me and has left me numerous texts and voicemails apologizing. I have yet to respond.
The argument stemmed from her thinking I was "checking out" a girl at the table next to us at a restaurant we were getting a drink at (I wasn't). She then went on about how I don't do enough to care for her when she gets insecure like that. For me, it's hard to coddle someone when I feel like I'm being attacked by them. My instinct is to defend myself which never helps anything. Then I tend to shut down and this just infuriates her even more. This conflict is recurrent – mostly stemming from her insecurities (which is puzzling to me considering she's gorgeous/smart/pretty great all around).
Last night was easily the worst fight we've ever been in and reached the boiling point of her lashing out at me with physical violence. This is something that I will not accept in a relationship and I feel like a line has been crossed.
We fight a lot when we're together. But she loves me deeply and I love her. When we aren't fighting, things are pretty great.
To make matters more complex, I'm moving away next week. We're planning on doing an LDR for approximately a year. | about to embark on an LDR with my girlfriend of 8 months. She's terribly insecure, we fight a lot, and last night she was physical. Not sure what to do here. |
t3_1fj9qc | relationship_advice | [20/M] went on a date, started off strong and ended by her putting me in the friendzone, should I still stick around? | So I met this girl and we talked a little bit on facebook, just flirting and the usual. I asked her out on a date a few weeks after I met her, and she agreed. We had a wonderful date and I felt that we really kicked it off. I mentioned a second date that night and she agreed. However, when I was talking with her later hammering down the details of the second date, she was not so optimistic. She basically said she doesn't want to go on a date anymore and thought it would be better to just be friends and hang out. She went on to say she doesn't think she's ready for anything serious. I have every indication that this is true since she is a shy girl and may have had a bad breakup in the last year. I am wondering if I should still hang around, talk to her, and just be friends until she eventually does want more, or should I just forget about it and move on. I have a feeling that she does want to be friends before dating someone to know what they are truly like, which also might be because of her possible last bad breakup. | Went on an awesome date, she was super flirty. She declines second date saying shes not ready for a relationship. |
t3_27vzaz | relationships | My [18M] girlfriend [17F] wants to smoke weed tomorrow for the first time. I'm really against it. | To start off, I'm not insulting smokers or whatever. I just don't relate to it and I don't want to be dating someone that smokes.
Anyway, I picked my girlfriend up from school yesterday. She told me that her friend Diana [18F] was sleeping over on Thursday. She asked me, "If she brings weed, would you care if I tried smoking?"
She knows I'm really against it. I've had childhood friends that started smoking, then became habitual smokers; some of them delved into harder drugs, some of them just became losers that no one wanted to be around. I've had family problems that involved addiction to it. Obviously, that doesn't mean that my girlfriend will be like that - but there is a small risk that she will, one that I don't want to take. I'm particularly afraid of some of her friends. Her best friend (18F, not Diana) is a longtime smoker and has a lot of really shady friends who I'm pretty sure my gf will start hanging out with if she starts smoking frequently.
I told her that I really didn't want her to and she went silent. I asked her if she still was going to anyway, despite me telling her that I didn't like it. She didn't say anything but she looked at me and put her head on my shoulder. We both knew the answer was yes.
So at this point I'm not even annoyed that she's smoking weed tomorrow, but I'm kind of upset that she would put trying drugs ahead of her boyfriend's feelings. She's done some (minor) things in the past that made it clear she doesn't respect me very much.
I think I'm overreacting though. It really isn't a big deal. A ton of people try smoking once and never do it again. I think I'm a pussy because I've never done it so I don't want her to take the risk. I don't know. I feel like I have some valid concerns, but I also feel like I'm just being a bitch. I don't want to stop her from living life and trying new things, but drugs is not something I want to see the love of my life doing. | girlfriend wants to smoke weed with her friend despite knowing I really don't like it. I asked her not to, but she's going to anyway. |
t3_13ph85 | relationships | I want sex with other women, even though I (21m) am in love with my girlfriend (21f) | I am in love with my girlfriend. I honestly am, we have dated for 9 months (but have been best friends for 2 years) and I want to marry her one day. But she took my virginity and I know she has had sex with 12 other guys before we dated. I know she's never cheated on me, and she loves me more than anyone has. And although I've had a couple of random hookups before, I've never had sex with another woman and my mind sometimes thinks about it. I don't want to lose her. But sometimes I wish I got a little bit out of my system before we fell in love. | My gf took my virginity and I am in love, but I still feel the need to have other experiences before it's too late. What do I do? |
t3_54roff | relationship_advice | Should I end my 2 year relationship? | I'm 21 [F] and my boyfriend is 22 [M] and we have been together for almost two years and I'm starting to feel like things are sort of boring.
We argue about the same things every once in a while (about him being irresponsible and him being insecure about gaining weight). We get over the arguments quickly, but we never solve anything, we sort of just move on from what made us angry at each other in the first place.
Also our sex life is really bad. I have tried communicating with him about things that I want and like in bed but the performance is just terrible. Often times I feel like I'm just not into it and it's starting to feel like a chore.
I have also been fantasizing about other guys and what it would be like to be either single or dating someone else. I'm not sure if this is normal. I would never act on these fantasies, it's just that I always wonder if I would be happier with someone else or being single even.
I love my boyfriend, he's my best friend and gets along great with my family and I'm pretty sure we are meant to be in each other's lives but I'm not sure what our future holds. He talks to me about wanting to get engaged and married, I'm not sure if I'm just having cold feet or if I should leave him. | My two year relationship has become routine and I'm starting to fantasize about life on the other side (dating/being single), am I having cold feet or should I leave him? |
t3_2saln6 | relationships | My best friend [23m] and I [23m] are drifting apart and I can't figure out a solution. | Remy and I have known each other since middle school but didn't really become close until 12th grade. For the last year of high school we hung out almost everyday, bonding through videogames, girl problems, and music.
Over the next five years, I moved 3000 miles to the other side of the country, he went to college, moved out of his parents' house, and got his own home. The things we used to bond over (videogames, girl problems, and music) are almost non-existent: we've both strayed away from games, we're both in healthy relationships, and music has become a pasttime as he is now a professional photographer and I'm more interested in fashion and film.
I know that this is normal -- for adults to grow apart -- but Remy and I have gone through too many things to just have it fizzle out. Every time we talk on the phone (it's become less and less frequent) it's been difficult to talk about a topic that we're both interested in.
I'll be going home soon and I definitely plan on spending time with him. Do you guys have any ideas on how I can re-spark this flame in a dying bromance? | My best friend and I have grown apart, and I need ideas on how to bond without bringing up videogames, girls, or music. |
t3_30mce3 | relationship_advice | I (31/M) recently found out that she (24/F) broke off her engagement. | Backstory:
She was in a relationship for the last few years, even to the point of getting engaged. She and I have been close friends for over a year. We are both at the same university so we often have lunch and/or dinner together at the on campus eatery. Just a few months ago, while we were having a nice dinner, I told her that I had developed feelings for her. I would never do anything to jeopardize her relationship, I'm not like that, and she knew this. I needed to tell her how I felt, however. When I told her, she told me that she also liked me, but was committed to her fiancee.
Current:
A few days ago at lunch, she informs me that she and her fiancee broke everything off citing that it wasn't working. I am not going to press the issue. Then she immediately starts talking about hanging out with me. I'm not going to read into this and see something that may not be there just because I want there to be. I agree to hanging out sometime. My dilemma is this, I want to be a good friend to her, help her pick up the pieces and put herself back together. She doesn't seem to be upset about the breakup at all though, it could just be a front. Either way, I don't want to rush in, but at the same time she is graduating in May, while I still have one more year left. If I move to slow, I risk her graduating and leaving and losing what I see as my only chance to spend quality time with someone who I deeply care about. If I move too fast, I push her away and probably lose her forever.
I know it's cliche, but I really have never felt for someone the way I feel about her, and I was married once. I know what the feeling of love is, and my feelings for her go way beyond anything I have ever felt before.
Any tips or suggestions? | I'm in love with a woman who recently broke off an engagement. Don't want to move slow, don't want to move too fast. Need help. |
t3_l00j9 | relationship_advice | Was I set up for failure or have I been making the same mistake for years? | Perhaps this is the broken-record theme of the internet by some peoples' perception, but I'm a single 26 year old male. I've only had 2-3 relationships, depending on how you qualify one.
I know that I'm decently attractive and I'm not socially inept, though I have my slip-ups. I have an immense amount of trouble forming relationships, even within the context of work or school. In lately, I feel like women are dismissive toward me. Not always, but enough that I'm feeling self conscious about it.
One thing worth noting is that I have historically befriended social outcasts... essentially less attractive people who don't get out much. This changed some in college, but I still stayed pretty isolated within my social bubble. I would say this has been my mistake if so many of the people I've known weren't married to each other, having stayed within their social bubbles all along. Maybe circumstantial, but I need to improve my odds.
Lastly, my parents are fundamentalist Christians who IMO have half-assed most of the important things in life. They never seemed able to answer my questions or provide me with decisive guidance. They weren't great at supporting me through college. In retrospect, I would have kept a part time job while in school; the elimination program I had to take in order to get into my coursework forced me to quit my server job. All this aside, I was very eager to please them. That is to say I was always stewing over religious issues. I no longer stew over religious issues.
I don't expect one magic answer to my problems. I know that if I want to meet more women, I have to get out and talk to them more than I already do. I would really appreciate some discussion on the topic because it's psychological, too. | I've been single for too long and I need help figuring out why. Not sure if it's something I could have done differently or if it's more due to my upbringing. |
t3_1t1697 | relationship_advice | [18M] , I told my crush [18F] what I felt for her. She is now dating a friend of mine. | A couple of months ago I met a girl. I quickly found out that we have a a lot in common and I could share a good laugh with her.
She became a part of my regular group of friends I see every week. And we started (to my idea) flirt and we had alot of fun.
Fast forward a couple of weeks ago after chilling and hanging out alot. We went together to the movies. And while I walked her to her bike I decided that I would tell her how I felt towards her. So after some doubts I just told it (as the realist I am).
She was very flattered and told me that she sees me for now only as a friend. She also told me that she is not sure what her feelings will be towards me in the future.
Fast forward another couple of weeks. While we went out I saw her flirting a lot with a friend of mine and I knew immediately. We still talk a lot and she now has a realtionship with him. I am not sure what to do with the situation.
I enjoy her company very much. I am not sure if my feelings towards her will complicate anything. | I fell for a girl, she is not into me. She is now dating a friend of mine. What should I do? |
t3_1bvriv | personalfinance | I have savings. How do I qualify for a Canadian Gov't student loan? | Hi /r/PersonalFinance, I'm hoping you can help me out, but I understand if this is one of those "not with a 10ft pole" situations.
(Throwaway here for personal privacy reasons)
Here's my situation: I will be starting a very expensive school program in the fall. I do not live with my parents, nor have I for some time, and my parents have zero capacity to help me. Fortunately for me, their income is low enough that the CRA doesn't consider them eligible to help.
Between a bank investment account, and my own private investments, I have approximately enough to cover the cost of tuition and living (including moving expenses, etc.) for one year. Even if my savings can completely cover my expenses, it will be a near thing.
In applying for loans and financial aid, however, my savings are working against me. The government and school both deem that I do not require assistance, because I can (probably) afford my first year. It seems crazy to me that in order to qualify for help, I need to bleed myself dry first, and I'm concerned that if and when my savings run dry, the credit (card/LOC) debt I might run into will be all sorts of painful.
I've come across a lot of various forum posts along the lines of, "I have $60k in savings, and 30k in loans, what's the best way to pay it off?"
I suppose it's possible they somehow managed to save twice their loan amount while going to school, but I imagine it's more likely they somehow qualified for a loan while having some money in the bank, or elsewhere.
I've been searching around, but can't find anything detailing how to qualify for a loan even though one has savings. Any advice would be very much appreciated! | I've been responsible and saved money, and have an effectively perfect credit score. How can I still get the Canadian government to give me a student loan? |
t3_53bbio | relationships | (LDR) I [21M] hooked up with a close friend (23F), broke up due to unknown fear(s) I had. | Hi, first post on Reddit so if my post looks like a garbled mess, apologies.
I met this woman through one of my friends on Skype. We both had similar interests, so there was a spark. I took a shot at trying to hook up with her, and with success she told me she liked me back. This happened about less than a week ago.
I was pretty happy being with this person, we liked to play games or work on our hobbies during the day and we would try to have deep conversations at night. I was a huge procrastinator in my hobbies (Music, art etc.), so she pushed me to work on them and I did. We kept each other on our toes and were grateful for it.
In a few days, I had this gnawing feeling in the back of my head, a feeling that was fear and/or dread. I liked this girl a lot, but for some reason I felt as if my subconscious or something like that didn't like the fact that I was in a relationship. I would get instrusive thoughts like "Maybe I shouldn't be with her.", "I think I made a mistake." over and over.
The main concern I think I had may have been something like me wanting to preserve my individualism, like I had a fear that being in a relationship would mean my personality wouldn't feel as free as it did when I was single.
And that's just a theory, I honestly have no idea what's going on in my head or why I felt like that. I've looked up and down through Google for people with similar problems, but nothing I could relate to.
We broke up because she felt that it'd be better if I was single so that I wouldn't have to deal with the turmoil I was going through. She would love to be back with me, but only if I was ready.
What's up with me? Is this something I can fix? | Got in an LDR with close friend, broke up because my mind was terrified about relationship for unknown reasons, want to know why and maybe get back with her. |
t3_1hdhma | relationships | I don't know what to doo anymore(beware long post) | Okay so me (m19) and my SO(f18) have been together for about 5 months now. We live together (yeah we moved really fast) and we are both constant smokers of both pot and cigarettes. I work a part time job to support both of us.
9But lately I haven't been able to afford pot and cigs. And she's been lashing out a lot lately. Because of her severe addiction to both )She's also on her period at the moment) but recently I had decided that I wanted to ask her if I could quit my job and go down to California with her her friend (21m) and her mom. To trim weed for her dads and dads friends farms for 3 months and make hella money and come back up after and get a new job that I don't completely hate. And i asked her to ask her dad. And without even asking him she brushed it off. Then later when I asked her about it. She said she knew the answer was already no. Because she knows her dad so well. (Keep in mind her dad wasn't part of her life unroll last year. He ran out on her and her mom.) And then when I eventually asked her why. She Said that she doesn't need to be treated this way. And I was being nice about the whole thing.
The reason I want to do it so badly is because I won't have to work at my current occupation anymore, ill come back up with enough money to not only fix all the things that are fucked up right now (license suspended, ticket, flat tire on car, radiator leak, other bills I'm backed up on. Which would pretty much make my stress levels dissapear.)
Plus I won't have to be apart from her for over 3 months. Which is really a big issue for me mostly because I have severe separation anxiety and moderate depression. Many other things have been going wrong lately too. We're fighting about stupid things. We haven't made love in over a month in a half. It feels like she doesnt love me anymore. She says she does. But I just dont know. I just need some advice, help. | girlfriend is treating me unfairly. Not taking my feelings into account. Need to know if I'm wasting my time with the girl I swore I'd be with forever. Or if I should just break it off and try to heal. |
t3_p4v7c | Advice | So I found a sex tape of my girlfriend.... | Backstory: I've been with my girlfriend for about 1 1/2 years now and everything for the most part is amazing. We've recently moved in together for the last few months and while she was in class I was using her old laptop due to mine being broke, while I uploading a video of a party we went to over the weekend I noticed a thumbnail in her videos of her naked, after clicking on it I realized it was some type of sex tape she made with an ex. Immediate reactions are of course wtf, awkward, some anger. To make it worse I know the guy in the video, I knew they use to be together but never enough for them to make a video so that also surprised me. Its not the fact that she made the tape that upsets me, I myself have filmed a few experiences from my past but ultimately deleted them, but the fact that she has them.
I texted her and told her what I found and why the hell she still has it, she seemed noticeably upset claiming I was snooping through her shit and said we will talk after school. So now I'm sitting just wondering as to how I should take this. I want her to delete them of course and I don't have the right to force it. A big problem is just the fact that we've been together for so long and she has never hinted at the idea of a video but she made this with this d-bag that she was with for a couple months.
How should I respond to this issue? What if she says she doesn't want to delete them for whatever reason? Have any of you guys kept your past videos of exes, and if so what were some of the reasons you kept them? Do I have a right to even ask her to delete them? | found a sex tape of my gf and her d-bag ex and wondering as to how I should take this. |
t3_erkj9 | AskReddit | Reddit, I need some quick advice regarding calling out of work due to inclement weather. | Okay, so here goes: I've been working at a small convience store/gas station for about the past year and a half. I've only called out of work once. My boss can be kind of grumpy at times but I'm pretty sure he likes me. I work the graveyard shift and there are constantly people being hired and either quitting or being fired for one dumb reason or another.
I live in North-Eastern MA and tomorrow night though monday morning they are predicting a bad snow storm. My area is projected to have 18+ inches on the ground by Monday night. The worst part of this storm is going to be from 10pm-4am and it's not going to stop snowing until noon time. I have to work 11p-7a and I really, really, really don't want to.
Is it reasonable for me to call out from working? My boss should be there at about midnight for one reason or another and there is someone else working. I've pretty much made up my mind to call out. I'm not really worried about being fired but I still feel bad.
Some thoughts on the whole situation would really help. Thanks guys. | I don't want to work the overnight during what could be one the of worst storms we've ever gotten around here. Is it reasonable for me to call out? |
t3_4b9npn | relationships | I [20 M] was sodomized by my maternal uncle [now ~30] in my childhood. | I don't know how to say this, I was merely a 6-7 year old then and he and I were like brothers then. We used to play games with other family members (my cousins and brother).
This thing never haunted me till 2 years ago, it was like I never cared about it then one day I told this dark secret to my GF and then I realized what I have gone thru, till date only him, I and my GF knows this. The day I told her those memories sprung up. Since that day whenever I meet him I try to suppress my anger and try not to abuse him and beat him up. Tonight, right now while I am trying to sleep (it's about 4:00am here) I got a feeling I want to kill this person and /or make him suffer till his life but I have no courage to tell it to my parents.
Please help I don't know what to do with this. I really want to slap that person over and over till he collapses and begs for life.
Should I tell my parents? (I don't even know how to talk about all of this, even if I do it's so long no one will believe me) | My uncle used to sodomize me when I was 6-7 years old and now those memories don't let me sleep. |
t3_2qt9as | relationships | My [17 M] sort-of-girlfriend-I-guess [18 F] of some time-ish (see text) and I have a problem concerning her abusive ex and his phone's 'images' folder. I would like some help. | Throwaway account I've used before for this subject. I posted to TwoX last time, but now realise that it would be better suited here. Sidebar says no links, so I'll sum up: my sort-of girlfriend - I'll call her Amy - was mentally, physically and sexually abused by her ex - I'll call him Cockface - until she broke it off in February of this year.
We've been dancing around the possibility of a serious relationship since summer, but for obvious reasons she is utterly terrified of intimacy - hence why I can't really give an accurate estimation of the length of our relationship. I've known her since May-ish of this year though.
Now I'm finally going to get to the point (sorry I took so long). She told me last night that Cockface demanded pictures of her (I'm sure you can guess the sort of content), and because she was utterly terrified of what he'd do if she didn't do what he said, she sent them.
She begged him to delete them, but I highly doubt his promise was even remotely sincere. Now, I don't know what he'd do to hurt with these pictures, but I wouldn't put it past him to try. She's scared. I'm scared. He's evil.
On a side note, she would have been seventeen when the pictures were taken. I am far from the sharpest legal mind in Britain, but that strikes me as illegal. However, she doesn't want to take this to the police as that would mean talking through the whole experience again. I could really use some ideas on how to deal with this, because it's upsetting her. | Almost/sort-of/maybe girlfriend was forced to send nudes to her abusive ex. She's scared he'll use them against her, I want to know how to proceed. |
t3_2it8sb | relationship_advice | /26 F/ How do you stop having feelings for someone? | Hello fellow Redditors,
Throwaway because I know he reddits, anyway I have known a friend of mine since we were about 9 years old. We have always gotten along with no issue, we reconnected more so in college about 5 years ago. Even when we lost contact for a few years here and there it didn't affect us we just always got along. We started hanging out more and more during that time. Naturally, I fell in love with him. He's always there when I need someone to talk to, always willing to help out when he can, and we can finish each others sentences. If I make a joke he instantly gets it and will play along and we do so well together. There is only two problems here. He is germophobic which puts a damper on him ever kissing someone, which honestly I don't think I'd mind and he's improved much since school to the point where I feel he could get over it some day, even if it's years from now. I poured my heart out to him one evening. Told him everything I felt, how much I cared about him and felt we'd be amazing together. He did mention to me that he is asexual, never had interest in girls, or men, but he was neutral and happy as he is. He did consider it but after a few days told me no. I accepted this and we were fine remaining friends. We still hang out, I have been in 2 relationships since then and have been doing well. In the back of my mind though when I see him I always wonder 'what if?' I want to stop having feelings for him and I don't know if anyone has any tips. It's hard..because I don't think I could function without him being a friend, and I'm lucky I didn't screw things up when I poured my heart out to him. I just need to know how to get my mind off wondering if he'd ever change his mind because I feel like he is the one even though it's impossible. ....stupid scumbag brain huh? | I'm in love with my asexual friend and need help to find out how to start getting rid of the feelings. |
t3_2o1cl6 | tifu | TIFU by giving my sister a piggyback. | So, this fuck up did happen today, however it is not my fuck up. It's actually my boyfriend's little brothers fuck up.
The story starts with my boyfriend (21), his younger sister (18), his younger brother (16) and myself (20). We had a little birthday celebration with the rest of their family and friends for a neighbors birthday. After playing in the yard with some of the little kids, we decided to head over to the converted shed besides the house that my boyfriend lives in and play some video games.
As we were walking over there, the little brother, let's call him "T", and the little sister, lets call her "S" decide to give each other a piggyback.
This is where it all goes wrong.
So T jumps on S's back, and proceeds to yell "GIDDY UP!" My boyfriend and I are just strolling along, holding hands, when they side swipe us and in return, get pushed aside by my boyfriend. They fall to the ground, face plant it, and then, who knows why, T begins to teabag his sister.
TEA. BAG. HIS. SISTER.
He thrusts on the back of her head for a few seconds while my boyfriend and I stare in shock horror. T then gets this look on his face, with his eyes wide open as he realises that he isn't in fact teabagging a mate at school, like all 16-17 year old boys do. He is actually teabagging his sister.
They both got up, and after my boyfriend and I laughing hysterically and spitting out words like "teabag" and "oh my god", they too began to laugh. | My boyfriend's little brother teabagged his sister after falling to the ground, only to realise that's not appropriate. |
t3_3cmyg4 | relationships | [Dating] Me [M/18] Does this girl like me? Is it friendliness or flirting? HELPZ!?!?! | It is always hard to know if a girl likes me or not, I think a lot of others can say the same.
So this girl started working at my workplace about a month and half ago. Unfortunately we only work together one day of the week, however every time we talk, we really hit it off. Every time I see her, she is looking at me and smiling, she seems to enjoy my company a lot. I even asked her once, "what"? As she was looking me, and she said, "oh nothing". Like in a shy way, like she wanted to say something but didn't.
Although, the problem is A im never sure about these kind of things. From having very little luck in the relationship field, the old saying the nice guy always finishes last, well that is me in a nutshell. Most girls I do talk with, do like me and see me as a pretty nice and cool guy. Unfortunately, that is where it stops, friend-zoned, so hard, so many times.
Another thing is, she is older than me, she is going to be a junior in college and me a sophomore. So, my thing is, there no way a older college girl would go out with a younger guy like me. I rather not be rejected again or create some awkwardness at work.
Every time, I lock eyes with her, I really do feel a connection but maybe that is just the I want a girl to like me talking. Im not to sure. What you guys think? Is she just be friendly or is something going on here. Please let me know if you want anymore information, I'll do my best. Thanks. | Girl at my workplace, seems to like me. Smiling when she looks at me, we hit it off every time we talk. But I have had little luck in relationship field, and don't want to make the wrong move. |
t3_132krn | relationships | I (21M) spoke to my ex (21F) last night and continue to get mixed feelings. | I was just recently broken up with by a girl I dated about a year. Her reasons were that she was very stressed about her life and couldn't put everything that was needed into a relationship right now. There were no hard feelings between us after the break up (we have been broken up a little over a week).
After talking things out, she said she could not string me along while figuring out her life. She has been very consistent in saying she loves me and I was great to her. I have been very up and down about this whole thing and decided to give her a call last night. After talking for about half an hour she tells me that she is not trying to get over me or move on in her life. She told me she does not want me to wait around on her because it would not be fair to me but she still has romantic feelings for me.
To be clear,this hasn't been a easy break up for me. It also isn't something I can't handle. I understand things just do not work out sometimes and I plan on moving forward with my life. I do not feel attached to her but I care deeply for her and would be open to working things out. I'm not the type to have a problem moving on from relationships but in this case, I don't want to move on.
I am truly on the fence on what I should do. Should I just move on and forget about possibly ever getting back together? What would you do? | I have gotten mixed emotions from my ex about whether she wants to eventually work on us once her life isn't as complicated. |
t3_3jjdl7 | Advice | I've just told a friend I'm a sociopath and she's not taken it well, how can I continue being friends with her? | I have always believed myself to have sociopathic tendencies and have decided to see a psychiatrist in regards to it. Recently I thought I would see how my closest friends would react to telling them, one who loves to study psychology took it fine and didn't ask many questions and still have the same friendship. The other, I did assume she would take it very badly and she did as we have been friends about 5 years.
I told her how I don't care for people in the same way she does. I am unsure how to try to keep her as a friend as I would like to. She's worrying in case I have tried to manipulate her which I don't believe I have although possibly have without realising it, the same goes for all my friends. She now doesn't even want to get in a car with me driving in case I drive recklessly. I have said to her I wouldn't want to hurt any of my friends which is true but not so much out of care more it's not beneficial to me but haven't said that as I know it will just make things worse.
I know she may not trust me but I would like her to accept me for what I am. | How would you cope if a long time friend told you they were a sociopath and what could they say to make you feel more at ease without feeling like they're manipulating you? |
t3_4cc2wi | relationship_advice | How to break up with my [m20] girlfriend [f22] of two years? | Hi everyone,
I [m20] want to break up with my gf [f22] of two years. I've thought really long about this and I'm sure about my decision. She's the sweetest, nicest girl I've ever met, but still I often catch myself thinking how I want to spent more time with my friends and such when I'm with her (other things as well, but this is what it boils down to, more freedom and stuff).
So my question is what, or better when would be the best way/time to tell her? We had a rough patch a couple of months ago, but since than things have all cleared up, and it really worked well again, but my side of the story has returned again, and I'm sure she doesn't expect this at all.
Would it be best to just tell her that I'm breaking up with her, and why (keep it short), or give her time to ask questions. Where would be the best (her dormroom, her parental house, public place (don't think so), etc.). I'm just trying to make this as easy as possible for her, because I'm positive she will be devistated. | I [m20] want to break up with my girlfriend [f22], not sure how to make it easier for her. |
t3_407ila | relationships | Thinking about leaving girlfriend because she tried coke, give me opinions. | 20F 22M. Long-distance of 2 hours since I graduated a year ago. Girlfriend of 4 years, I've always been super adverse to drugs. I didn't start drinking until I was in college and I tried pot after I graduated (I still frequently smoke though.) She drinks as often as I do but very rarely smokes. Anyway she went to a friend's 21st party last night after we had been arguing during the day over the phone and she calls me at 3am basically falling over when she gets home (Taxi) and tells me she did coke. I'm like wtf but accept it initially, we talk for like half an hour and say goodnight. Today all I can think about is her doing coke which I consider "hard drugs" I told her that if she ever does it again I'll dump her, she said fine but I don't trust that if she's ever drunk with her friends again she'll say no. Am I overreacting? | GF 4 years did coke I don't like it and said never do again or dumped, she agrees but I don't trust her around her friends. |
t3_51pc2c | relationships | My husband [30 M] and I [24 F] have a friend [28 M]who is basically stalking his girlfriend/ex[20s F] were tired of it and need advice | Hey Reddit...
My husband and I have a friend{28m] who started dating a girl in March. Of course the very beginning of their relationship was good.. He always calls her his wife, says they're going to get married, etc. She seems on board with all of it most of the time. But for the past 3 months, she breaks up with him almost every weekend so she can go to the bar and hook up with whoever. He is always heartbroken and constantly texts her and begs her to take him back, which she eventually does. Throughout this process, they agreed to get off facebook, which he did, but she never did... She has over 500 friends, and he now has facebook again with one friend..... HER.
He always text my husband updates basically of when she dumps him and when she gets back with him, which annoys the hell out of us because its every week.
But onto the current situation.
She dumped him four days ago and throughout the text messages back and forth she told him she hopes he gets in a car accident and dies.. She has never said anything to that extent to him before and after that he still wants her back..
Today he texts my husband saying he is losing it. He said this morning was going good and she was talking to him, whatever, then she blocked him on text and all social media, so he drove to her house, she was there so he left, he drove back later, she wasn't there.. So he drove the a bar where he thought she would be and sat outside the bar for three hours when she was there..
My husband and I have no idea what to say to him anymore.. We have given him all the advice we had when he was heartbroken before.. We have told him a hundred times to find a new girl, There's someone better out there for you, You don't deserve this, and he always went back...
Reddit, What advice would you give someone who needs to move the hell on but wont listen.. Were at our wits end with this situation, But we don't want to cut him off. | Friend wont move on from crazy girl, has resorted to stalkerish behavior. What do we tell him to get him to get the hell over it. |
t3_1msz1k | dating_advice | First time I have the potential for a relationship; not sure how to proceed. Advice needed. | So I'm a junior at university (just turned 20, male), and a couple weekends ago I made out with a freshman girl (17, turning 18 in a couple weeks). When the party was over, I asked her if I'd see her again, and she mentioned that we would see a movie together that we had been talking about at the party.
Since then, I've met her one more time. We took a walk through the nature trail behind campus where we kissed again. After that, we went back to her dorm and chatted for a while over iced coffee. We kissed goodbye, and I told her I'd take her though the small town just off campus this week. She seemed happy to do that.
Thing is, we were supposed to do that this past week. I texted her a few times earlier and throughout the week to set a date, but she explained that her courseload was picking up and it would prove difficult to meet for now. Ok, no issue. I tried to set up the town plan for this coming weekend, but she informed me she'd be going home to see family. So now we havn't seen each other in over a week, and if we manage to see each other in this coming week it will have been a couple weeks since our last date.
Is she maybe not sure about dating? I've been thinking perhaps because she's only a freshman she doesn't want to get into a relationship too soon; but rather get used to college life first and experience all it has to offer. I've never been in a relationship before and hoped this would work out, but now I'm not so sure.
Any advice is greatly appreciated! | Hooked up with a girl at a party. I thought we might be starting a relationship but she seems more hesitant to do things, unless she's genuinely busy. Not sure where to proceed from here. |
t3_1q1cak | relationships | I a[M24] a guy who was in a relationship for 5 years...wondering how to start again with someone new. | Met a girl in Uni and stayed together for 5 years, she was the girl I lost my virginity to and she had one partner before me so we were both pretty inexperienced.
I didnt know it then but I suffer from anxiety issues and had several "performance related issues" shall we say...fuck it its a throwawy, sometimes I couldnt get it up and often I would launch the business too soon, leading to massive self esteem issues and feelings of inferiority.
That relationshp ended and i was a mess.
My fear is now, how am I going to get passed the awkward new bit of a relationship especially the sexual part without a girl thinking im a freak?
I think Im a good guy, I care too much, im not one for shagging around, I know im young but I really like being in relationships, I love the security and comfort and genuine love that it comes from, waking up next to someone and lying around in each others arms deciding what to do for the day that kind of thing.
I dont really have a question as such, maybe im just looking for input/advice, but I dont feel like Im a great catch, I feel like meeting someone I would be overcome with nerves that I would excuse myself from stuff until she got fed up of me, or dissapoint her so much in the bedroom that she'll find somone who couldnt count their sexual partners with 1 finger.
I think in some ways I could be attractive considering im reasonably fit, do some interesting hobbies and have lots of interests and stuff which may attract people but then theyll see my insecurities and decide that theyd rather a boyfriend than a project and go somewhere else! | After a 5 year relationship I dont know how to start or explain my wierd ways to a new girl to get her to stay long enough to realise I am actually a decent guy. |
t3_2i5qa9 | relationships | I [22F], a shy asian girl, have a crush on a classmate [20-21? M] I have never even talked to. What do I do? | I guess I can start with what I am like. As stated on the title, I am a very shy and timid person.. I am the opposite of what typical Americans consider 'hot.' I am pale, petite, demure, have dark black hair and small facial features. I never mastered that cute flirty eyes or that come hither giggles. Although I might be considered dolly or cute, a 'hot' girl is supposed to be tall, tan, young and lovely!! And I am a girl who looks like she might be 15.
And this guy, who often sits next to me in one of my lecture classes, is nothing like me. Really tall, blonde, brown eyed, handsome, white, 'school athlete' type guy. He seems athletic and party-loving, but these are just assumptions based on his clothes/looks or physique. Other than his looks, I don't know anything about him. (I think he might like rap music since he wears shirts with rapper names on them)
He possibly listens to rap while I am mostly a jazz/blues, classic rock fan. I hate meeting new people while he practically says casual 'hello's to all 160 people in the lecture room except me. He looks taller than 6' while I am a tiny 5'2". He dresses like a cool dude, with snap-backs and ray-bans, while I am more into simple classic looks, like Audrey Hepburn. I think we just might be the mere opposite of each other... D:
I don't know how I fell for him despite all these differences...but something about his big manly facial features turned me on at the snap of a finger. This is so unlike me, since I consider myself to be mature and down-to-earth. I guess I was wrong about myself...I fell over this guy the moment I saw him.
But, I don't know how to approach him nor do I know how to get this guy to like me. I mean, is there any chances of this even working out? Any advice? What do I do? | I have a crush on a classmate who is the mere opposite of myself and I am too shy. What do I do. |
t3_16n8o8 | relationships | He (27/M) and I (22/F) have been dating for only a very short while and he dropped the "L" word. What to do? [x/post from /r/AskMen] | We've only been officially exclusive since the 1st of the month and on the 9th he told me he loved me. Granted, he had been drinking, but he backed it up the following morning and in subsequent conversations. This strikes me as WAY too soon. We had been together for only a little more than a week at that point and the most I could do was tell him that I move way slower than that (you know, because I'm sane) and he acted like he was going to slow down.
HOWEVER, he's still mentioned marriage and kids and the like more than a few times since. Granted, he's getting to the age that he wants to be thinking more seriously about those sorts of things, but I'm not. I'm 22 and still full of bad decisions. | He told me he loved me after only dating for nine days and I don't want to move that quickly. What to do? |
t3_2sfkir | relationships | Me [25 M] atheist and my girlfriend [20 F] Christian are having a hard time getting along when it comes to our beliefs. | I am very open minded when it comes to religion. I will listen and talk to you about it. Take interest and retain information about what you are saying. But I am atheist. I decided long ago that religious values are not for me.
My girlfriend is very strong willed in her Christian beliefs. Does not want to believe in science, evolutions, or other religions. I actually had to sit her down and explain to her about other galaxies in space. She just thought our solar system was it and there were a few stars around us.
Well the other day I was watching Cosmos with Neil Tyson (she watched the first 2 episode with me) and could tell they were very anti religion in the dialogue. Hell, even I could tell.
I try to sit down one night and watch a few more episodes and she puts up a big fuss about not watching it. Due to the evolution episode, she was pretty much down with it after that. I explain to her that the show is very informative and she could learn a lot. Short story she storms out and locks herself in our room.
I take part in her beliefs cause her family is very religious. I have watched religious movies with her (Noah, the one with the kid that does and goes to heaven and comes back, and others) I take part in their prayers and never scoff when they talk about it around me.
So what do I do to get past this barrier. | I'm atheist, she's not, I'm open minded to all her beliefs but she shuts out mine to the point I am just quiet about it. Just flat out says I am wrong. |
t3_rwee0 | AskReddit | Is it socially acceptable to tell someone that they stink? | There is a boy at my school who doesn't have many friends and is generally very unpopular. He isn't antisocial and he does try to talk to people, but he smells so unbelievebly bad that people will literally leave a group and walk away when he arrives. He just doesn't understand the concept of hygeine. He comes to school with hair that looks like it's been dipped in grease, and a few months ago we went on a weeklong school trip to Greece during which he didn't shower once. My question is: should I tell him he stinks and try to convince him to start showering daily, or should I keep my nose out of other people's business? It doesn't affect me, as I can just walk away from him like everyone else, but I feel sorry for him because he does try to socialise, but is hindered by his stench. | Unpopular boy at my school tries really hard to make friends, but smells so bad that no one wants to talk to him. Should I tell him? |
t3_23l5cu | relationships | Me [23 F] with my bf [34 m] 6 mos, Is he cheap? | My boyfriend has quite a bit of money in his savings... something I just recently found out because he told me. I always thought I was better off, but he is 200x better off it turns out.
Anyway, at the beginning of our relationship I spent a lot of money on plane tickets to see him and fun things for us to do since I thought he was unable to. I didn't complain but I did feel like he should contribute more, but instead of saying anything I just stopped planning things for us to do.
Now that I know he has been rolling in the dough the whole time, I wonder why he never takes me on nice dates, has never bought me anything (not even for xmas or vday), and makes me pay half the rent/food when he is actually making WAY more.
Long term, I want to just have a bunch of kids and stay home with them... so it's important to me that I'm with someone who isn't super tight, since I want to have a nice lifestyle too. He knows that I want that in my future and says he thinks its great, but all i can picture is a future of him counting penny's.
Yesterday he got upset that I ate all of these date/almond ball things we made ebcause 'the ingredients are so expensive.' It was like $8. I paid for half. | Turns out my cheap bf actually has a lot of money, should i be upset that he never takes me out? |
t3_u86a7 | AskReddit | Is this deal way too good to be true? | I'm planning on buying a new laptop. This one to be specific-
While $889 is reasonable price, I wanted to see if I could spend a little less money on it, so I did some searching around. I came up with this result-
I think that spending as little as $250 on it would be awesome, but it really seems like it's far too under-priced. I feel like they would just send me the empty shell or something. I realize that this one doesn't come with a charger like it does with Amazon, but that doesn't reduce the price by $600. What do you guys think? Is it trustworthy? | Laptop I'm looking at on some random website is a lot cheaper than on amazon, seems too good to be true and I think I might be getting cheated if I buy it. What are your thoughts? |
t3_51sjxe | relationships | Me [19M] with my GF [19F] of 3 years, are having an issue and I really need advice | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and recently her home life has gotten extremely toxic, to the point where her parents kicked her out because they said they couldn't afford for her to live with them anymore. Obviously, this has really gotten to her head and shes been mildly depressed recently and not really being herself.
She told me Thursday of last week that she feels like she needs to be alone through this and wants us to take a break. The only problem is since then shes still been acting like were together, telling me very seriously that she loves me, being very affectionate with me, sleeping with me, referring to me as her boyfriend, and speaking like were together. BUT when I try and talk to her about it she says were not together but it isn't permanent and she knows she wants to get back together she just doesn't know when. Basically all of this has left me utterly mind fucked and I'm really at a loss. I have a few fears:
* I don't want to be just a backup plan for her if there's someone else that I don't know about.
* She's not showing that this breakup is affecting her at all and that really worries me.
* I think ending communication with her might be a good idea to make her realize what she wants, I just feel like an ass if I leave her while everything is going on in her life. | Girlfriend wanted to take a break to be alone, yet still acts exactly like were together and I don't know how to take it. |
t3_o1i7z | AskReddit | Reddit, how do you take control of the radio from an overzealous manager? | I started a new job 6 months ago, and my manager is really into country music, myself not so much. He has multiple stereo's around the store, and there is one right next to my desk, which he doesn't sit next to. When I first started I left it on his country radio station because I didn't want to seem rude to change it right away.
Fast forward a little over a month and I started changing the station to music I enjoyed, since his office was enclosed and in a different area all together, and he had his own radio in there anyways. For the next 5 months up until now there has been a unspoken mini battle of changing the radio station back and forth to our respective stations. He gets annoyed if he hears anything other than country music.
I left for 2 weeks for vacation and returned to see he moved my radio into his office and mounted the speakers on the ceiling above my head, so I have no choice but to listen to country. Its personal preference but I can't stand listening to this station 8 hours a day, it really makes the day go by slow.
How do I get my freedom of music back reddit? He is very stubborn and I wouldn't be asking you guys unless I was certain confronting him wouldn't work, although I may try it anyway. | Manager likes country music, I do not. Manager takes away my control of the radio stations and I am forced to listen to country music, help me! |
t3_1z4lyp | relationships | Me [28 F] how do you forgive yourself/move on after an unhealthy relationship? | I was your stereotypical young girl looking for validation from a boy. First boy I dated pressured me for sex, we did it, he broke up with me. Next boyfriend straight up told me he did not have the emotional capacity to love me, but I stayed with him for 4 year-ish, putting my needs to the side hoping to love him enough to fix him. He was cold and distant. Next seriously relationship was a real mind fuck! We dated on and off 6 years. He cheated with in the first year, with a friend of mine, while I was in the house. I took him back and the mind games continued for years. We got engaged, he broke it off over the phone a year later, and asked me to move out. Then after I moved out he chased after me, cycle continued etc etc. That story ends with him starting to date one of my friends behind my back, and now they live together, and I have nothing to do with either of them.
I've made a lot of positive changes that I should be proud of. I no longer have toxic or unhealthy people in my life. I started therapy years ago, and now have boundaries and positive self esteem. I am graduating from university next month and have a great career. I am dating someone now that respects me, and we have a great relationship with open communication.
However, I can't help but feel ashamed of my 'dating past', I feel like a moron for the decisions I made. Because they were 'jerks' but I stayed, I took them back, I made poor decisions and what not. I feel ashamed when I discuss my dating past with family, friends, or my relationship now. This isn't an impression that any one gives me, my family and friends etc, are supportive. This shame is in my head. Also, professionally I am a domestic violence social worker, and at times I feel like a fraud because of my past.
Any insight would be appreciated! I am always surprised and moved from the life changing advice that I see here of r/relationships. | I've had a string of 'bad' relationships, now I am in a healthy relationship, and wondering how do you forgive your past? |
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