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t3_4nckpw | relationships | Me (25M), interested in friend (25F), just out of LTR. How soon is too soon? | I, 25M, am interested in a friend. I met her very recently, after her 4 year relationship ended. We have been hanging out a lot recently but she has balked at the last minute a few times. I think the biggest barrier is the fact that she is only 1 month removed from a LTR.
She has shown a lot more interest in me than other guys, is consistently very flirty and we text repeatedly, with both sides initiating, and always having good responses. I haven't explicitly had the conversation that I would like to date her yet. I have gotten the impression that she isn't ready yet, and I don't want to push her if she isn't.
I very much like this woman and would like to make it work. | How long was it until you were ready to date after a LTR? Does it matter, and how soon is too soon? |
t3_1sa8du | relationships | My (23f) best friend/ roommate (24f) has a new boyfriend so we never hang out now and I miss her. | We started living together two and a half years ago, got along great and became best friends. I moved away for a year to do a course, then moved back during the summer and got a new place. My roommate moved out two months ago and my friend needed somewhere so it seemed perfect for her to move in.
However, things have felt weird (for me at least). She's been seeing one of our mutual friends who we met during the summer. At first I was really happy for them both (and still am) but now I also feel left out because they are both constantly in her room and I always feel weird about even just going in to say hello. I like the guy a lot but I always feel like they want to be alone. And he's technically living with his parents which means that he's pretty much staying here the majority of the time, so I basically never hang out with my friend.
I feel really lonely because our other best friend has gotten a really demanding new job so I don't really see much of her either. I have a boyfriend who I love to death and he's been the one who I've been hanging out with most but I need to hang out with my closest female friends too.
My grandmother died a few weeks ago, and after I told my friend/ room-mate I was really disappointed in her for not asking me how I was doing over the next few days or calling me to see how the funeral was etc. I told her that along with how I've been feeling distanced from her and she apologised and explained that she just didn't think (which is actually common for her) and we agreed to spend a bit more time together, but it hasn't happened. Whenever her boyfriend is busy doing something she'll make plans with other friends or stay in her room - otherwise they're both in there together.
I'm not sure what else to do at this point, but it's really bringing me down and I've even been thinking that I might need to move out. | Best friend has new boyfriend who I like, but I never hang out with her anymore, despite talking to her about it. |
t3_2b8x0p | tifu | Tifu; for thinking a guy liked me | This is where the shirt storm begins, folks. So, I went on tinder thinking hey, I just graduated high school and never had a boyfriend so why not see if I can find someone on tinder who thinks I'm a keeper. Not a bad idea, right?
Well, found a guy who wanted to hangout maybe mess around a little and ya know, I was pretty down. He was handsome and called me gorgeous, I thought I was Lady Luck at that point.
So here I am riding in on the metro to find him in DC, wearing my favorite perfume and doing my makeup just right thinking "my first kinda almost date!". As soon as we met I realized I had never felt better.
He was holding my hand, kissing me in public, cuddling with me during the part of the movie we watched. I was on cloud 9.
We ende up going down an alley and having. A little fun, then getting gelato (which he paid for, as well as aforementioned movie). 6 hours of PDA and such later, we get to my house and do the deed. It was fantastic, he would kiss me and run his hands over my body. It was the best sex I've ever had.
He kissede good night and was on his way.
Fast forward to today when I wake up. No snapchat, no good morning. Odd, considering he'd been doing this since we started talking. Whatever.
Later in the day I get a bit concerned when all he says to "good morning! Had a great time with ya yesterday. Hope you did too :)" was "I did". Whatever.
I message my good ole friend Bob. He tells me it's clear based on what I told him (which is what I'm posting here) he likes me and we should talk.
I message him stating me confusion and he drops a bomb on me.
"I like you. But I'm taking a break from my girlfriend and we'Re getting back together in September. I'm just really touchy feely so sorry if I led you on. If things had been different I definitely would have pursued something with you."
Fuck. Me. | guy wants to meet up with me for a date like thing, hella PDA and seems super into me. Says he's on a break with gf. |
t3_3axvuh | running | Training Cycle VDOT Improvement (Update): 26 weeks to go from 53 to 55 | A few months ago, I posted to /r/running asking about how much of a VDOT improvement I might get from following the Jack Daniels half marathon running plan. After a full 26 week cycle and a new half marathon PR last weekend, I wanted to give an update. In short, I went from a previous half marathon PR of 1:28:23 (VDOT of 52.1) to a new PR of 1:24:11 (VDOT of 55.1). More details below:
As background, my initial goal was to get from a 1:28 half marathon (2 years ago with intermittent training since) to sub 1:20 during a full 26 week training cycle. This corresponds to moving from a VDOT of 52.1 to 58.4. I quickly realized that this was too big a challenge and scaled my goals back to breaking 1:25 (VDOT of 54.5).
Over the last 26 weeks, I followed the half marathon training cycle from the Jack Daniels plan. As I mentioned above, my previous half marathon PR was 1:28, but I estimated my starting fitness based on a 19 min 5K (VDOT of 52.9, greater than a 1:28 HM, but I was not in half marathon shape). During the training cycle, I did a 5K time trial to set a new PR of 18:43 (VDOT of 53.8) and then PRed in the half marathon in 1:24:11 (VDOT of 55.1). By the end of the training cycle I was running all my T pace workouts 5-10 sec/mi faster than plan, but felt good. | So, how much of a VDOT improvement can one expect from a 26 week Jack Daniels Half Marathon training cycle? If you are starting out around a VDOT of 53, the answer is about 2. |
t3_kcca7 | AskReddit | How did you experience the "unfolding" of 9/11? I'll start... | I was 18 at the time, had just finished high-school and was a few days away from moving to London to go to uni...
Seeing as I live in central Europe, things didn't start going down until about 3 in the afternoon; however I had picked this particular date to go see an afternoon screening in the cinema, which didn't end until about 5:30-6ish...
By the time I got out into the streets there was a real eerie vibe going on, everybody seemed sort of hurrying along and a general air of depression was quite palpable. I then proceded to turn on my mobile to about 30 messages, so I decided to call home, and the conversation went a bit like this:
me: "hey mum. you called me? is something wrong?"
mum: "my god. it's terrible, isn't it?"
me: "huh? what happened?"
mum: "what? you don't know?! there's been an attack. the world trage centre has been destroyed and the pentagon is burning!"
me: "uh... ok... i guess i'll head home then..."
So that's how it went from *huh-huh... cool movie* to *oh my fucking god WWIII just fucking started!!!* in about 30 seconds...
I spent the next 16hrs watching live coverage on cnn and the likes (pretty much any channel on the air that day) | went to see a movie when it all started, and came out to the WTC destroyed and the pentagon aflame... good times... |
t3_2l67xy | relationships | Why is she(22F) upset with me(22M) for not talking to her recently. | Me and this girl have been friends for a little bit. I felt like there has been an attraction between us so I asked her if she thought so. She said she thinks there is but she doesn't want to pressure it.
I asked her if her if she wanted to see where it could go, no pressure. Then she said she's doesn't know and wants to stay friends. I'm okay with that.
So I wanted to pull back a little and do my own thing. I haven't been texting her or asking her to hang out for the past two weeks. She texted me the other day saying, "Why havent you been talking to me since the last time we hung out?" I responded by saying," ive been busy lately with A bunch of work and other things (which i actually have been). She seemed a bit upset or mad.
What does this mean? does she like me? | I wanted to separate from this girl I like for a little bit to work on myself and goals after I asked her if she wanted something more from our friendship. Now she seems upset |
t3_3nea24 | relationships | My girlfriend left me because she wants to party 2 nights ago. I'm pretty sure she just wanted to hookup with random dudes this weekend | So 2 nights ago my(18m) girlfriend (17f)called me, and broke up with me because she wants to party and experience more.
She has never had sex with anyone else.
I went off to college and she's still got one more year of high school.
She never came to visit me at college because she said her parents wouldn't let her.
She broke up with me this thursday and drove to another school to party and go to a concert...how would her parents let her do this but not come visit me? Her parents are super strict.
Now she's texting me saying she wants me back.
I'm kind of done with her shit. I think she just wanted to break up with me to get a hall pass this weekend or to just be able to go hookup with a bunch of dudes.
I'm sure she'll call me Monday crying and begging for me back.
I can't deal with this dumb bullshit. I've partied and been with a bunch of people and I just feel like I've grown up way more than she has. She seems so immature all the sudden, and I just really don't want to deal with it.
I love this girl. We spent a lot of good time together and I genuinely care about her, I just hate what she's turned into the past week.
I go away for school and all the sudden she goes crazy and breaks up with me.
I still want to be friends with her, and hopefully get back together in the future but right now she's just causing me too much stress.
Relationships, what would you do if you were in my situation?
I know the healthy thing to do is say goodbye, but I'm really torn. I love her, she still loves me too. If we still love each other, why not just get together, chill out, and live happily ever after? | I go off to college, my girlfriend freaks out and breaks up with me, now she says she misses me and wants me back. wtf do I do? I'm so torn |
t3_2lcorm | relationships | Me [23 M] with my Ex [22 F] Broke up and living together | My girlfriend of 3 and a half years broke things off with me on the 29th of October and we're living together. I felt like it was probably a long time coming, there were a lot of signs and we hadn't been getting along recently. I realize our relationship got to the point where it was probably unhealthy for both of us and it was for the best.
Then she told me she said she's seeing/ talking to someone else, which again hurt ALOT. But I forgive her for all of it and have tried to be as understanding and supportive of her decision. I just feel betrayed that she would do this because I too was considering to mutually go our seperate ways once the lease was up and trying to make the best out of it until then. I feel like this just causes so much complexity and unecessary hurt, and has made the healing process all the more difficult.
We've gotten in arguments (pre break up) about us splitting up and she made a point that if I were to move out I can't find some random person on craigslist. Well, low and behold she comes to me 2 days ago and makes a noise about finding someone on cl so we get in an argument about it. Today I got curious and looked for the ad and found it was posted a week before our breakup. Again, I feel betrayed and upset. I just wish she was more upfront with me and honest because I would have done the same for her.
Should I just tell her to get the random person from craigslist? I'm honestly scared of rooming with some crazy/messy/(insert here) person. And on top of that I feel like the apt has memories of us in it. | 3.5 yr relationship. Gf breaks off mid lease, seeing someone else, find cl ad for apt a week before D day. |
t3_2k6y2m | relationships | my girlfriend [18F] of 3 1/2 years, cheated on me [18m] with my best friend [18m] in a "night of drunken mistakes" | Happened two days ago now, i think, it's all blurred into one.
I have just started university, and live roughly 90 miles away. things were fine, little issues with how much time i spent talking to her, but i put it down to it being my first few weeks of university life.
she texted me most of tuesday afternoon and night, claiming she was extremely drunk with my best friend. no biggie, they are also best friends who live less than half a mile apart and chill with each other all the time.
She asks if she can stay in his bed, again, they've done it before, they are like brother and sister, so no biggie. i say "sure no problem, just don't make me regret it" jokingly, she doesn't like that and says it makes me sound like i don't trust her.
I wake up on wednesday morning to her panicking, saying she has fucked up and needs to see me, i tell her to tell me what has happened and she eventually rings me and tells me she slept with him.
Obviously, i'm devastated and feel like i've been sideswiped.
felt numb ever since, i feel like i'm not showing as much emotion as i should be, i don't think it's fully sunk in.
she says she regrets it 100%, and i do believe her. i've told her i need time to think but she keeps messaging me about how upset she is and that she loves me.
i'm stuck as to what to do, i feel lost and afraid.
I really love her, or loved, i'm just not sure.
My best friend also has a girlfriend who is at university, so i have lost all respect for him, and don't wish to speak to him again.
i'm close with my girlfriends family, and sometimes think this is all that is keeping me with her right now.
Any advice would help out immensely. thanks | Girlfriend got incredibly drunk and slept with my best friend, recently became "long distance"ish so i'm feeling extra lonely. |
t3_uphqq | AskReddit | Why don't men wipe after they pee? | I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but I was just curious. I tried finding answers on my own (asking my bf, and googling it), but the answers I got were "it's not manly/there's no tp next to urinals," or "we have external genitalia." I wasn't too satisfied with the answers and wanted input/opinions.
For the manly/tp one: why would that social custom even come about (if it were a custom to wipe, there would be tp available)? Who said it wasn't manly? Is it just not manly because girls wipe?
Concerning the external genitalia: is it because that since men have longer urethras, they already have a lower risk of getting a UTI, and therefore, wiping isn't necessary? | where did the social custom of men not wiping come about? Is there a physiological reason or is it just social custom? |
t3_38kcs2 | weddingplanning | What to do about the Bachelorette party? | So my friend is getting married soon and has asked me and 5 others to be in her bridal party. It is the first time I have ever been a bridesmaid and I am super excited! Since there were six of us we decided to divide up responsibilities with party planning, me and her FSIL planned, hosted and paid for their engagement party earlier in the year. Her MOH and another school friend are planning her bridal shower and the other two are planning the bachelorette.
The two bridesmaids planning the bachelorette live in another state than the majority of us and so in trying to plan have decided it should be in a state 'in-between' us all so everyone has to fly. Then they want to spend a long weekend in the city we are travelling to then hire a party boat for a day and night and go to a spa. In total it would cost about $1000 including flights, hotel suite, food costs and everything else. My question is is this normal? I assumed I would be covering the cost for some event (the bridesmaids from a different state didn't come to the engagement party) and paying for my bridesmaid dress and I have some money saved for the bachelorette but I didn't think it would be so much. My SO and I are planning on building a house soon and are actually trying to have a baby right now so spending so much money on something like this seems frivolous. I have talked it through with FSIL who is fresh out of college and she is somewhat surprised but seems willing to go through with it. Is it rude to say I can't go? Is this an ok amount to ask people to spend? The Bride is lovely and would never plan something like this for herself I think. She would rather see everyone than have cost be an issue but I feel like I am then splitting up the group. | Bachelorette is going to cost over a grand, is this a usual cost for something like this? Can I say I can't go or is that incredibly rude? |
t3_sh1kz | AskReddit | Hey reddit, did any of you live a boring life as a kid, but made up for it by having a very active lifestyle as an older teenager/adult? This is happening to me and it's a very interesting experience. | From when I was 5 until I was about 15, I was sheltered from pretty much anything outside my house. It was, for the most part, me, my PlayStation, and a dog I had for a while. I had brothers but they typically both antagonized me for whatever reason, and only had one real friend during this time. Once I was 15, and saw people living their lives and discussing memories from when they were kids, only then did I realize how uneventful my life was up until then. That and the fact that I actually couldn't recall the majority of my childhood, because it had no notable events. I don't really blame my anyone. My parents kept me in the house only because they wanted to protect me, and they worked all day (still do). As a result of this, I never developed much social skills. Although, on the contrary, I was given a good characteristic out of all this. I loved learning. Because I wasn't concerned with friends or women, I was able to learn and study a LOT. I learned a lot about science, history, industry, music, economy, the trades, human anatomy, etc. These skills are very useful and to a certain degree make school an exciting thing for me. So now, at 16 years old, I've started caring about my appearance, the opposite sex, and started making many friends. It's a very enlightening experience. And having seen both ends of the social ladder turned out to be kind of useful. I'm learning a lot about people in general and getting involved with my community has led me to meeting some people who have helped me a lot. I've had my first girlfriend, gotten myself a job (and subsequently bought myself a car, and have gotten my grades much higher than the past. (As a younger teen I preferred to study independently rather than focus in school. Anyone else on reddit gone through this (regardless of when)? | Was completely sedentary all my childhood and have recently created a social life, and a life in general, for myself. Any redditors done something similar? |
t3_vzvvf | relationship_advice | [18/m] We both (18/f) have feelings for each other but I don't know where it's heading. | Well we've been talking for almost 6 months now. We're extremely close. We'd probably spend up to half our day talking to each other on Facebook and/or the phone, this is probably everyday too. We both know we like each other, we expressed our feelings towards each other about 2 months ago. The main problem is that although we like each other, she's in an unfortunate situation (full-time carer of her Stage IV cancer mother) and due to this she isn't emotionally stable enough for a relationship at the moment.
She also says that although we do like each other, we shouldn't just limit ourselves to each other, as we have feelings, and they are out of our control (she wouldn't of said this in a relationship), but she did also say that she'd prefer me not to. The part that gets me most is when she does hang out with other guys. Most, if not all of them (not that many, about 2) aren't friends, they're just interested in her, so she accepts going on these dates fully aware of my feelings. She assures me, says to not worry, we're too close to drop everything and nothing will probably happen between the other guys, but fuck.
The worst thing is one of those guys had a thing with her last year, and that resulted in him spreading a rumour around his school saying he fucked her 7 times in one day, and that school happens to be the one her brother goes to. So her family knows about this, hates this guy and isn't allowed to hang out with him, and I don't even know whether she's leading him or not. I think it only brightens me when she tells me that the only thing he touched was her ass. I trust her a lot but shit, this is hard, especially when we're not going out.
Is it worth it in the long run? What do I do?
Note: She did say she'd save her virginity for me (we're both virgins), so I don't know if that helps. | We have feelings for each other, but her situation makes it extremely hard to take it further, and I'm starting to feel uncertain about it. Help??? |
t3_fedpp | AskReddit | Why do I keep torturing myself post-breakup? | So me and my (now ex) girlfriend broke up about a month ago and I find myself severely struggling to get over her. For the last four days Ive had a recurring dream of us getting back together only to wake up bitterly disappointed. One of the biggest problems I have is contact, I know your not meant to but its not that easy for me specially when she wants to be friends. Every time I talk to her I just leave the conversation feeling more lonely and depressed yet I keep going back for more.
Today I found out last week she "hooked up" with someone which just kills me inside. Ive been doing good lately and being avoiding any contact the whole week until today but I just cant find it in myself to cut her out of my life and pretend like our 2 year relationship never happened even through I know I should. The more messed up part is that deep down I know its better were not together anymore yet I cant stop thinking about her every second of every day and wondering ways to get her back.
Also I should mention that I'm 23 and she was my first but not my first time doing anything sexual with a girl. | 2 year relationship with girlfriend, cant find it in myself to cut contact with her even through I should because I still care deeply for her. |
t3_15qa7v | relationship_advice | [18/m] My girlfriend [17/f] wants to be a camgirl when she turns 18, I feel jealous, should I? | We've been dating almost a year and a half now, I'm going to try and get straight to the point. I watched porn for about a year and lied about it. It's been almost six months since then and she still feels horrible about it, she's demisexual so she feels worried since she doesn't quite "get" it. Well, she told me that she wants to be a camgirl, half to get back so she can "share" her sexuality for a year like I did, and half because she has horrible self image issues. I'm trying to be supportive and not be jealous, but is it okay for me to be a little jealous, it's not that I'm afraid someone will take her from me, just something about another person jerking off to her live :(. She sees this the same as me jerking off to porn (I stopped btw) and that's how she justifies it. | gf wants to be camgirl, is my jealousy irrational. is being a camgirl the same as watching porn. |
t3_23b6l6 | relationships | Annual pseudo-dates? Should I [26M] just explicitly ask my friend [23F] out? | Friends for several years, met through one class together and stayed in touch. We hang out once or twice a year only, yet when we do, it feels intimate to me (hiking for hours, dinner and drinks, catching a movie). We talk about anything and everything during that time, with little between (barely texting/calling/messaging).
I've typically had mixed physical signals from her, but I just moved much closer to her city and I'd like to actually go on a date with her. Since a date would be essentially entail what we already do when we spend time together, how should I go about seeing if she's interested in me romantically? Call her? Or am I kidding myself about this being anything more than friendship? | Friends who do "date stuff" together alone once or twice a year and don't talk much beyond that. Should I ask her out? What's a good way to do it? |
t3_41m3xb | personalfinance | Hospital debt collector keeps calling me for my dead dad. How should I take care of this? | Hi, throwaway because I'm afraid I'm doing something illegal..
I live in Virginia and my dad passed away in a hospital 2 months ago. I've been receiving calls from the hospital financial services almost every week. They leave voice messages specifically for my dad... (Do they not know he's dead?)
Right after he passed, my mom went "crazier". Long story short, I lost contact with her. I think she still keeps in touch with my older brother, but I can't contact her or her friends (Don't want to contact them, ever, preferably..)
What will happen to me if I continue to ignore these calls? Should I call them and forward them my mother's number? I'm afraid they're going to make me pay for his bills if I answer. My mother already stole my money before she cut contact with me and I don't have any more $ to be taken.
Sorry in advance if I'm asking in the wrong sub. | Dad passed away. Hospital debt collector keeps calling me for him. Is it my responsibility to take the call/bill? |
t3_1wmguc | AskReddit | What do you do if your parents don't approve of your relationship with your SO? | I've been really caught up in some relationship issues. I truly love my SO, but there have been so many problems with our lives being so different and the fact that my parents absolutely detest my SO. But let it be known that it's not because of my SO themselves--it's everything they represent and how they are so different from my own lifestyle. My parents are being completely judgmental, and they refuse to budge. It might also be helpful to know that they're Asian.
I love my SO, but I've been given an ultimatum: deal with the parental conflict and stand up to them or lose my relationship. | My Asian parents have driven a wedge between me and my SO and I have no idea what to do, so SOS. |
t3_27uzq9 | relationship_advice | (24/m) I'm thinking of breaking up with my (25/f) GF. Advice? | I've been seeing this girl since about the middle of March of this year. She's really nice and sweet, but she's trying to get too serious in the relationship, clingy even. She always wants to hang out on her days off work, but not the "hang out with friends" type of hanging out. No, she wants entire days of us together. It's not just us going out and doing things either, she's completely fine with hanging around the house all day.
She's been my first girlfriend in about 2 years. I've had little flings here and there, but it was all casual.
The thing that I've started to notice about her is she like to talk a big game. She has big plans for working on herself, however she doesn't show the incentive to carry out the plans. I'm the type of person who likes to run with things. | I'm with a nice and sweet girl, but I don't see it working long term and want to break it off now before things get more serious. |
t3_377t59 | relationship_advice | I[ m/18 ]like her[f/18] and she likes me, but I'm going half way across the country for university and she doesn't want to start something, advice? | We've been friends since the beginning of grade 12 and are going to prom together as friends, (she asked me) but lately we've been getting a lot closer. I'm at her house every weekend, we skip classes together and she's been acting really flirty.
So last night we had a little get together for her birthday and after everyone left I was just me and her on her front porch. We we're just talking until I said "don't hit me, but there's something I want to do before I leave", mind you this is the weekend before the prom weekend. She stopped me and we began to talk about what we want.
She then got really close and we began cuddling and holding hands. She admitted to liking me and I said the same but she doesn't want to get too close then have to say goodbye. Makes sense but it sucks.......we kinda lost track of time after that and I got in shit when I got home but I don't want to lose her or fuck this up.
How do I progress, nothing is awkward between us and were better then ever going into prom, but I can't get over her. What do I do? | we both admitted to liking each other, but she doesn't want to get attached because I'm going away for university in 3 months. Where do I go from here? |
t3_2rofk1 | tifu | TIFU by revealing my id to my psychology class | Disclaimer, not literally from today.
I am a 27 year old high school teacher that frequently gets mistaken for a student by substitutes; I teach all social sciences, but mainly psychology and psychology DE, which is Dual Enrollment. Basically, the DE kids learn from me but take college tests and earn college credit, like an AP course. The class is predominantly senior and junior level (16-18 years old) females.
One day we are doing treatment methods and it comes to the day that I teach free association; a lecture in which I always do an ink blot test with my students to show them how such an abstract concept would look in practice. Afterwards, we talk about what we saw and I tell them what the psychoanalysis might infer from this.
Well, this was my first year teaching the DE section and I managed to get an actual set of Rorschach images and we come to one and some say they see a pelvis, which according to Rorschach implies a focus on the female form, insert light giggles from the class.
I then proceed to say that I always see a woman and a man ( I always see oral sex in it, this is the [one] ; the students all look confused. I begin to point out the woman's head and the man's arms and head then freeze, realizing that I have now revealed that I see a blowjob in progress in this ink blot. I turn around and all I see are all my female students with arched eyebrows or slightly shocked faces. | = I accidentally admitted to my predominantly female class that I, a young male teacher, sees blowjobs in ink blot test. |
t3_2a8jtb | tifu | TIFU by taking a huge dump in work | Throwaway because I know colleagues are on here and I'm on my phone so apologies in advance for grammar and formatting.
So, I've recently started a new diet, which is making me a hell of a lot more regular than normal. The morning coffee has started to take effect and I'm feeling the pains of an imminent shit. It's just gone break time, so everyone is slowly getting up to go get food, I announce that I'm quickly nipping to the loo before everyone goes for food.
I get to the toilet and release the beast. It was glorious. The type of poop that slides out with such ease and no straining involved, the large one followed by a few of his children. All is well and good until I flush.
It won't flush away, none of it. This thing could take down a bus filled with horses. I'm filled with pride and fear. I need to get rid of my toilet child quickly as half the office is waiting for me. I jab that son of an asshole with the toilet brush to attempt to break it up to no avail. It's like a rock and most of it is just getting wedged in the bristles of the brush. 5 or 6 flushes later and I still haven't got it all moved. Colleagues are now knocking the door asking if I'm ok.
Panicking I do the only thing I think is logical at the time and plunge my hand into the toilet and lift my bastard child from the toilet, wrap it in toilet paper and put it in the bin. The toilet brush is destroyed with my shit, toilet stained with lines, and my hands covered in my own poo. I wash my hands but the smell is stuck.
I leave the toilet defeated knowing most of my colleagues will know the battle that went on in there as they would hear the toilet flushing probably 10 times in total. Waiting for the cistern to fill between each flush was the most agonising wait in the world. I am still getting wafts of poo as I write this. I don't want to eat healthy anymore.. | massive shit wouldn't flush, scooped it from the toilets and binned it instead. Most of my colleagues waited for me and endured all of the flushes with me. |
t3_2yp0la | jobs | Third Interview and Job Shadowing | So I got a call yesterday from a company that handles Long Term Disability Insurance. I applied for a claims position (thanks to a referral from a friend), and had an *awesome* first interview: my interviewer quickly deviated from the script and about halfway through said, "well, obviously I've already made my decision," and said lots of great things about me to my friend later.
Second interview was with hiring staff (was originally going to include the "big boss" but he was unexpectedly absent and they had someone fill in for him at the last minute). This one also went pretty well, though both interviewers were a lot more guarded in their reactions.
This last one they've asked me to come in after lunch to do some job shadowing for 45 minutes before interviewing with the "big boss." I feel pretty confident overall, but I was wondering if anyone could offer some last-minute tips or things to watch out for. More specifically, I'm not sure how to prepare (if at all) for the brief job shadowing segment - I've never done that before, and it seems like 45 minutes is an extremely short period of time. Also, is there anything in this third interview that I should be prepared to ask/answer in particular? I prepped differently for my first and second, and it definitely paid off. | Job shadowing for 45 minutes on Friday and then interviewing with the boss. This will be my third interview with the company. What do I need to remember/prepare for to nail this? |
t3_y62e4 | AskReddit | My sister seems to have run away. Should we contact police or has she just decided she doesn't want to live with our family anymore? | I have never posted here, but I am hoping for a little outside perspective. My sister is 21 years old. 6 weeks ago she moved from Michigan to a new, large, city to live with my mother. She is signed up to start at a well known university and things seemed to be going well. On Friday, she received a brand new MacBook Air for school. She was really happy about that and seemed to be getting along especially well with everyone. On Friday night, at 8pm she went to a local bar where she likes to perform Karaoke. She texted my mom and said that she would stay there late.
The next day (Saturday) she had not come home. Her phone was turned off and her car was still in the parking lot of the bar. At this point, we all were a little concerned- We were thinking that it was police calling time.
BUT HERE'S THE TWIST -- My mom went into her room and found a lot of cash (over $700). Sister has no job. My mom also found papers with numbers for strip clubs and escort services. So, my mom went to the Karaoke bar Saturday night to try to find my sister. My sister was there! She was wearing the same clothes as Friday. When she saw my mom SHE RAN TO THE LADY'S ROOM! My mom followed her and talked to her through the stall door- basically said that she wanted to know if sister was coming home. Sister didn't say anything.
So, it's Monday now. Sister is still gone. Phone is still turned off. Is she a missing person?
Should we do something? If so, then what? | Sister went to a bar hasn't come home 3 days later. Mom spotted her the next day and Sister ran away. What now? |
t3_2aourn | relationships | My Gf [19/F] of one year broke up with me [19M] for a reason that in my opinion does not warrant a breakup and can be settled. | Hi,
My GF broke up with me one month ago, it was all kinda rushed cause we were texting and she behaved a little weird the 2-3 days before so I asked her whats up and if shes not feeling well. Well, long story short, she broke up with me, first on the phone, later we talked (at a party and I was kinda drunk and kinda...let her get out of it a bit to easy, I guess).
Well, her reasons were the following:
I wasn't going out enough with her and she didnt want to stay home as often as we did.
I said, fine , we can go out more, even though I dont really like it, I could do that for her and it would be fine.
She said no, she does not want me to change and that it makes no sense for me to do things I dont like for her.
We kinda parted ways after this, even though we have the same circle of friends. So this is all a month ago, and I kinda still feel that its completely unnecessary to end our relationship, I loved and love her so much and she said she did too. I also asked if that is really all thats bothering her because that makes no sense to me, why would she not love me anymore cause we didnt go out enough. I am about to call her and ask her if she really doesnt want to try it again. She was also my first gf so I am kinda inexperienced with all of this.
I was so happy with her, she was nice, beatiful and just my dream girl. Throwing all that away seems so unnecessary.
Should I talk to her again and ask her,even though she already said that she doesnt see a way and she doesnt want me get changed by her?
Hope someone can help me with my situation.
All I want is get her back :( | She broke up with me for a reason that in my opinion does not warrant a breakup. I want to get her back. |
t3_14j49e | dating_advice | Not sure what to do. (22m 21f) | I'm in my last year of college. I haven't dated anyone since high school, for two main reasons. I've only met 2 girls in the past 5 years I considered worth the time and effort to try and date (including this one) and I'm afraid of failure, which is why I never did anything about the first one, so I'm pretty determined not to make that mistake again. I'm not saying I don't have female friends and hang out and whatnot, I just haven't really been interested in any other girls. I also am not particularly good at flirting.
I've known this girl for a little while, but didn't really hang out much or talk until about a month ago. We ran into each other at a school soccer game, and chatted for a little while, and I felt extremely comfortable talking with her, more so than I usually do talking to beautiful girls. After that, whenever I saw her around campus she would always say hey and talk for a bit. I had a fraternity formal coming up, so I decided to ask her. We both had a good time, danced and talked and I really enjoyed her company. I invited her to go watch a movie afterwards, but she had pulled an all nighter before for a test that day, and had to be up early the next morning for something, and said we'd go watch a movie another time. It's been about a week since then, and we've talked a few times this week.
So I get the feeling she is at least somewhat interested. But she is really nice, bubbly, and outgoing, so I have this fear that she is only being polite. I'm just not sure how to go about flirting or asking her out on a proper date. | College student, haven't dated in a long time. Met a girl I liked, and took to a dance. Not sure how to flirt or proceed, can't tell if she's interested or just nice. |
t3_51818x | relationships | My [21F] girlfriend of one year, cheated on me [21 M] while travelling and am now stuck. | My girlfriend and I went travelling together for one month but then I had to come back to continue my studies. This was always the plan as she had just finished University and wanted to travel for at least 3 months in the US.
We were fine for the first 6 weeks, chatting a lot and FaceTiming as much as possible. But then she kissed another guy, some dickhead at a club. To be completely honest I didn't care about it, I told her that I still loved her and that it was just a kiss but would need some time to think as I was worried I didn't care because I was in shock.
A few days passed and we started chatting again. We decided to go on a break until she comes back and see if there's anything there still.
The problem is, everyone keeps asking me how she is, and I hate it. I don't want to tell people what's happened because if she comes back and we are great then it makes things weird and awkward if someone were to bring it up with me.
Recently she has become distant again, hardly chatting and when we do chat she doesn't ask how I am or what I'm up to. She suffers from serious anxiety problems, so much so that after she told me she cheated on me she went to the ER and is now having to take very strong anti-anxiety medication, she can't drink, and she can't drive for the first 2 weeks on them.
So here I am reddit, I have never posted anything but I am really struggling here. Do i just call it quits leaving her to herself for the next few weeks, or do I wait only to maybe have my heart broken again when she returns. | Girlfriend in america for 2 months. 6 weeks in she cheats on me. We still chat, recently has become more distant. We decide to see how it goes when she gets back. Do I wait? |
t3_1mqhw4 | relationships | Update : I'm [18M] interested in a girl [18] I'm going to meet soon | Updating over
Hi there guys! It's me again.
So far, it's been really good. She accepted my friend request (I explained her who I was, didn't want to sound as a stalker, she replied it was 'cute') and we talked a little bit about music. The conversation went good, and we ended up talking about tatoos and related stuff. I even recommended her a movie, and she seemed interested in what I was saying.
I asked her up about the concert and she told me she wouldn't be attending it, sadly. I suggested to meet in person anyways, she said yes. I still have to find a way to get closer to her before suggesting something specific, as her FB chat doesn't seem to work. Maybe asking for her phone number or Skype? I don't wanna go too fast.
Other than that, I've talked to a close friend about the entire thing and she encouraged me not to be afraid of trying. Everything combined resulted in a confidence boost for me, which I honestly needed. | She accepted and we talked a bit. She won't be attending the concert, but she said okay to us meeting in person. Have to find a way to talk to her regularly / get closer without getting too fast. |
t3_183huz | relationships | [22F] and [29M] Should I *wait* for my boyfriend to return the feelings I have for him? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 months. We recently had "the talk" about our relationship. He expressed that he was not in love with me, but it's possible that he could be in the future.
The reason why this is a dilemma for me is that I want more out of the relationship (more love, energy, affection, commitment, etc.). And at the moment, I would consider our relationship to be in a constant state of uncertainty. How can you tell if you're a placeholder in someone's life until somebody better comes along?
If I break it off now, I'll have a better chance of getting out of this without too much of a scratch (emotionally). If I stay, there's a good chance I could get hurt. | I am ready to jump in emotionally. He is not. Should I wait and keep trying, or jump ship? |
t3_4hy7k7 | relationships | Friend touching body parts while dating someone else is that okay ? | To begin I M[16] have been dating a girl F[16] and its been a serious relationship and it got more serious in the last 6 months. I saw her talking to another guy a couple of months ago and I told her about it and asked her to stop because I didnt like it. Today My friend told me that she was sitting next to that guy and she put her legs on his lap and he put his hand on her leg. Now heres the question, she says its nothing but I took it personally and accused her of cheating, Is that considered cheating or wrong to do ? | While in a relationship is it okay to put your legs on another male and have his hand on your leg [F] |
t3_1f3z0p | relationships | I [f19] Have Been In An Undefined LDR With Kind of Boyfriend [m23] And Am Not Sure How To End Things. | **Background:**I met my bf at an event about a year and a half ago. He lives in South America and was in the US for a little over a month before he had to return home. In that time we got to know each other very well and quickly fell in love. Once he returned home we kept in contact but it hasn't been very easy.
**Current:**For the most part I've been confused about the nature of our relationship. We were never officially seeing each other, however, we act as if we are in a romantic relationship (talking a lot, pet names, "I love you"s, etc.). On several different occasions I tried to ask for clarification or confirmation on our relationship status (friends or more) and he told me that though he was sure we were more than friends, he also said being in such a long distance (I am in the US Northeast) monogamous relationship was unrealistic. I understood and respected his reasoning but the current undefined state of our relationship leaves me in an uncomfortable position. I don't see other men but I don't know if he is seeing other women (though he promised to let me know if something serious developed with another person). And I am still very worried because he does go out and party a lot and there are women he knows that like him that he hangs around.
**The Dilemma:** I'm no longer satisfied with continuing things the way they are. I don't want to pretend to be more than what we are anymore. I am not okay speaking to him and be spoken to as if we are in a monogamous relationship when we are not. Reddit, how do I break this to him without losing him as a friend? | I want to break up with my kind of boyfriend in South America but am not sure how to do it and remain friends |
t3_2mfwn0 | tifu | Tifu by cleaning my house | I live with my mother and her boyfriend in an apartment. My mom and I are the ones that do most of the cleaning around here and since she's always working and I'm always at school or with friends, the house hardly gets clean. Its been a while since the house has been clean and .... well... we have a tiny dog (cookie) who isnt potty training and thinks its wonderful to do her business anywhere she desires. I always clean her messes but I always forget to clean behind the couches because lets face it, im not going to clean every inch of this place when I come home tired and filled with work. So today, I decided to be useful and get out of bed for once to do some house cleaning. As i was cleaning the behind the couches, which is the worst chore ive ever experienced, I saw something shiny. Gold shiny. I grabbed a clean papertowel and picked up my mother's black diamond and gold trimmed earing that has been missing for a month or so. So I decided to leave it in a little paper towels safe from anything so I could clean it later. Fast forward and im finally done with all chores. The house is spotless and I decide to txt my mom about the house and her missing earing. I put the earing in a small cap filled with alcohol to disinfect it and then I go to rinse off the alcohol. Then, I dropped the stupid $1000 earing down the drain... | I cleaned my messy home, found my mom's missing earing, txted her about the good news, cleaned and dropped the damned $1000 earing down the drain. |
t3_48q3wl | relationships | I (28f) have an interview with a company but found out a former crazy coworker (20'sf) works there. | Like the title states, I have a job interview on Friday at a company that I have been wanting to work at since I got into this field of work. I was preparing for the interview by doing some research on the company's website and I came across the staff section and there was her name. Let's call her Betty. Back story on Betty, I worked with her for about a year at my old job, I was her manager. I hired her. She is young, loves drama and gossiping, a pathological liar, talks horrible about previous employers and jumps from job to job. She stirred up a lot of drama the year I worked with her and was not a good employee at all.
I was fired after 4 years at the company. My boss hired somebody to do my job for less, even though I was a dedicated hard worker. After I filed for unemployment my boss tried to deny it saying I had threatened another employee and that's why I was fired. Not true at all and was never stated when I was fired. I had to do the whole hearing with the state and submit documents and evidence to get my unemployment and she submitted hers, Which was a written statement made by Betty stating I threatened to punch her in the face, and she didn't feel safe working with me. None of this ever happened. This girl just loves drama and lying. I never contacted Betty to confront her for lying, I just blocked it out and moved on with life. Long story short with that, I got my unemployment because i proved the story untrue.
Fast forward year and a half, I am looking to leave the company I'm with now and landed an interview at my dream company but betty works there. It looks like she is a new hire. I'm devastated. I'm at a loss at what to do. I'm secure in my job now so I'm not desperate for a job by any means. But I don't know what I should do at this point. I've waited years for the right time to apply here and now this crazy girl is there. | got dream job interview but crazy drama fueled ex-employee works there. Don't know where to go from here. |
t3_wc21n | AskReddit | To any handicapped Redditors, have you ever had to make someone let you use handicapped facilities? have you ever had any problems or funny stories to tell about it? | Yesterday, I was just getting out of a movie and really needed to use the bathroom. I think something I ate didn't quite agree with me and my stomach felt horrible. I rushed to the bathroom and when I entered I saw I might have a problem getting a stall. Everyone seemed to be using this bathroom and the only stall left was the handicapped one. With my brain popping the "What are the chances??" idea, I rushed in there. Everything was fine until i heard a loud knocking on the door and this man who I later saw was in a wheelchair began yelling at me to get out. I tried telling him I was finishing up but he wouldn't listen and he kept banging on the door about how this was designated for a reason and other things like that, I tried to wipe up quickly and had to leave half way through. One of the most embarrassing moments in my life. | A man in a wheelchair yelled at me and banged on the door in a very crowded bathroom while I was taking a dump. |
t3_envu3 | AskReddit | Need INSPIRATION for my girlfriend's Christmas present - help me brainstorm? | Greetings Reddit!
As we all noticed by the drastic change in sales advertising and perhaps the presence of snow (in some areas), it is that time of the year again. Now regardless of what your take on the holidays is, I need your help.
Every year (for Christmas and her Birthday) I get my girlfriend 2 types presents. One I buy for her (something I know she's really wanted but, being the indecisive type / meticulous, never got it herself, but I always remember somehow) and one I make for her.
Last year I got her a Wacom Intuos4 Pen Tablet which I knew she desperately wanted and needed but just wouldn't muster the courage to get. I always get her something that I know she'll use in her area of interests bc she's so hesitant to invest in herself and I love to see her thrive. And of course, I can't make a Wacom tablet (btw they're incredible!)
Last year I made her a lunchbox sized jewelry box. I know she loves all her little treasures along with cute decor. So I spent a good week designing and laboring in secret during finals (can't lie to her so I was "working" at home)! The box turned out better than I anticipated.
I'm a college student and this semester I just had so much on my plate, that I didn't have time to sneak some shop time in during finals. I just finished yesterday and I'm exhausted from this semester. She's gone back home for the holidays and I've scheduled to go see her Christmas day.
I need help brainstorming ideas given this amount of time (To make mostly, but anything will help). I have a comfortable amount of equipment and skill. But as I said I'm a college and have been saving up for the holidays but the budget is a bit tighter this year.
So help me out Reddit, AMA (about what she likes, may want, etc), suggest to me, or make witty remarks about the subject at hand. Anything will help, I just need to get my creativeness rolling, as finals really took a toll on me this week. Thanks Reddit! | I need help brainstorming ideas of presents to make or buy, and who better to get creative input then from Reddit? |
t3_151x7z | relationship_advice | The letter I (21m) will never send her. (18F) | This is a letter I wrote to her explaining how I feel, I don't know what to do.
I love you, I miss you, I hate this.
You haven't changed, you're still the girl you were a year ago. You don't respect me and I'm too pathetic not to keep forgiving you. Honesty is still meaningless to you, you use it as a solution to all of your hard problems even though it always leaves destruction. You say you love me but I really don't think you know what that means. People make mistakes, I know that more than most but you have to learn from them. I worry that you can justify your actions because I keep forgiving you. I forgive you because I know you can do better, not because I enjoy being a punching bag. Part of me knows you won't stop but the opportunity of what we could be is just too rare to pass up. Please stop hurting me. I have been trying so hard but I don't feel like you are, what do you want? I want to be happy, but I can't do that with you if you keep acting the way you are. We both have problems, we can support each other through them or we can let each other burn. I'd rather remember you as the person that stuck by when times were hard than the one that abandoned me when I needed you most. But that's up to you. I'll survive, you know I will. I just need some consistency. | she has broken every promise she has made to me, but I can't stop loving her. And I don't know what to do. |
t3_3bg52n | tifu | TIFU by Not sitting out one game | So this happened last week. I had made an appointment to get my car's brakes fixed. On this day, I also had a softball game at 6:30pm. The appointment was at 9:30am and they said it would be done about 5:30pm. I figured it would be better to drop my car off early hoping it would be finished early, with plenty of time to get ready for the game. I'm only way back to the shop which takes an hour and 2 buses, when I get the call that they are running behind, and will be done about 6:30. I spend over an hour waiting on the shop, and my car doesn't get done till 7:15.
Realizing I have my glove, bat, and cleats in my car, I decide I'll just go straight to the game and play in the jeans I was wearing. I get to the field and we are up to bat in the last inning, and I'm on deck if I want to play. So I get my stuff together and step up. I end up getting a hit and standing on first. The next batter comes up and grounds towards the shortstop.
Now, normally I wear baseball pants and sock, and I'm decent at sliding cleanly. Since I'm playing in jeans though, I tell myself I'm gonna take it easy, and definitely no sliding.
So I run hard at second base, and because I don't slide, I have to stop myself at the base. My foot hits the bag, and my ankle immediately rolls, making an audible crunch. I was called out (even though I was fucking safe goddamn it!) and hobble off the field.
I spend the bottom half of the inning stuffing ice in my sock hoping it's just a sprain.
Go to urgent care in the morning, and my ankle is broken. I have to wear the boot of shame for 2 months, and my softball season is over.
Only upside is now I get paid to basically surf reddit all day at work since I can't walk at all. | Mechanic ran late with my car. Played softball in jeans so not to miss a game. Broke my ankle. Will miss rest of season. Get paid to surf reddit. |
t3_1c431c | AskReddit | Did 9/11 Influence Your Choice to Serve? | I'm not posting this to discuss the politics of this tragedy or whether the subsquent wars were right or wrong. My question is posed to the Marines, Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen that made the decision to serve after 9/11 and what kind of impact did it have on you?
I was in the 6th grade when 9/11 happened. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was getting ready for school, at this point it had only been about a week since it started for fall. I had just sat down on the couch while my little brother and older sister were yelling to each other for something or another. My father was paying very close attention to CNN and just as he was yelling at them to pipe down I watched the second plane hit the WTC. At this point I knew something was very wrong.
When I eventually got to school everyone was talking about what was happening and some of the kids were telling me a tower had fallen. This was before the time of smart phones and all the fancy gadgets so I didn't have anyway to confirm this. My teachers to my dismay brushed off what was happening and wouldn't show us what was happening on the TV.
When I finally got home I saw what had happend and it had cemented my decision to join the military. I knew at that point I had to do something, anything to get back at the people who had the audacity to attack my country.
I joined the Marines after graduating high school in 2008. I was stationed in Okinawa for 2 years and then I was stationed in Southern California. I than deployed to Afghanistan. It was while I was in the middle of the deployment the news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. When I heard the news it felt almost like I had come full cirlce, I was exhilirated, and I was sad. Sad for all the people that had lost there lives just because of this one man.
I served until 2012 and was Honorably Discharged. | 9/11 Happend in 6th grade, decided to join the military, joined Marines in 2008. Was in Afghanistan when Osama was killed. Left Marines in 2012. |
t3_1y0oro | relationships | How do I (F23) tell my boyfriend (M25) of a total of 4 years that I was sexually assaulted while we were broken up? | In the fall of 2012, me and my boyfriend broke up for some stupid reason. During the time we were apart, I was sexually assaulted twice, under very different circumstances. At this time, me and him had no contact whatsoever, we weren't even living in the same city.
We ended up getting back together last fall, but I haven't gotten around to telling him. It doesn't affect me too much, I think I'm dealing with it alright, but it feels like I'm hiding it from him, and I don't want to hide anything from him.
At the same time, I worry he might get very emotional, and take it hard. I don't want him to have that burden as well. Especially since there are some special circumstances surrounding it, that might make it harder for him specifically. | Together a few years, broke up for one. During, I was raped, twice. He doesn't know, we weren't speaking. So how do I go about telling him what happened to me? Or do I at all? |
t3_3flp4n | relationships | I [24 M] still want to hang out with my ex [23 F] but I'm not sure if it's the best thing to do | Hi guys,
I used to have a girlfriend, she became a really good friend of mine then one day we just realised we were supposed to be more and then started going out. In January (2 years of going out just about) we broke up because I was constantly working and she was constantly studying in her last year of college so we never had much time for each other. As a result, we were growing apart, spending our little time together just being tired and complaining about work/college and our little time together.
We agreed to split up over time/money problems but said this doesn't mean we won't be friends. This was my best friend as well as my girlfriend so I really wanted to meet up again a good while later after things have calmed down.
About two months ago I got onto her about hanging out and she said yea maybe sometime soon and we caught up for a good hour. Things seemed fine. I bumped into her twice on nights out recently and we caught up some more, nothing sexual at all, it was just two friends talking.
When I saw her, it felt fine, it felt normal. But when I messaged her recently about 'ok this time, for real, let's actually hang out', her response was 'ummmmm, maybe?…' so it sounds like I should just leave her be.
But I don't want that, she was my best friend. I'm not sure if I can just let it go. It's really distracting me from everything I do and I feel if I message her again it'll just seem annoying/desperate of me. I honestly don't think about anything sexual when I think about her. I just want my friend back, we had such great fun. Honestly it might be awkward or wrong as we're exe's, but I'd like to at least give it a go.
How should I progress with this? | I broke up with my best friend after 2 years for mutual reasons (time/money) and now it's a questionable future of our friendship. |
t3_35udvg | relationships | Me [26M] with my girlfriend [26F] 1 year, is extremely upset with me for looking at pictures of my ex's | My GF is an introverted girl, while I am extrovert guy, its a bit tough at times, especially when fighting.
Nearly 2 weeks ago we were out and discussing the sexting, saying how some guy showed off his ex to other people and she remarks "thats another reason why I wouldn't" I told her that I have never done that. She begins to ask me if I still have them, I tell her yes, because I didn't want to lie to her. She asked me if I still looked at them, I told her, yeah, but not in a while. I realize now how messed up it is, I didn't even comprehend it at first, but now I know how hurtful that is. I hate myself for looking at the pics and I hate that I'm causing her so much pain.
She had an insanely busy week at work the next week and we barely talked. When we saw each other over the weekend we had a lot of bad moments, but we were able to have a few good ones. She refuses to hug, kiss or tell me she loves me. She says she doesn't want to give me anything I want. I'm trying very hard to be patient, give her the space she needs, but still trying to get things back to normal. We aren't talking much and when we do its mostly me asking questions or telling her things, she barely responds.
I need to fix this. I can't stand hurting her, because I love her so much. She and I don't have many other friends, and I'm worried she hasn't been able to talk to anyone about this, that it's all just been bottled up. I have a good friend of her's number, and I'm tempted to text him and ask him to make time to go see her. I don't think he knows anything is happening bc she's tried to hang with him and but he hasn't made time for her, I know if he knew she needed a friend he would be there, but she won't tell him anything than "can we hang out?"
I could use any advice anyone has to offer. I want to make things right. | GF found out I looked at sexts from ex's. She's really hurt and is barely talking to me. I want to know how I can start making things right again. Whatever it takes. |
t3_1fynhs | relationships | How do I [17F] talk to my crush [16M] (who I've known forever but have rarely spoken to) on Facebook and how many times should I start conversations before giving up? | Basically I like this guy who I've known forever but never really spoken to in person. I've spoken to him at school a couple of times when we're both walking to the same place, but it's not frequent and they never last long because our school is small.
He's not in my year and we have no mutual friends. And he's always with his mates so talking to him at school isn't really that much of an option.
I've started conversations with him on facebook twice since I've liked him. But they always seems to go like:
Me: Hey :)
Him: Hey :)
Me: How're you?
Him: Pretty good how about you?
Me: That's good, I'm good
Him: What's doing?
And then we might talk a little bit about what we're doing, but then it seems to peter out. I know we have some common interests, but the conversation never seems to get that far. I can't ask him about homework or school stuff because we're not in the same year at school.
Also, how many times do I start conversations with him? Because I don't want to be that annoying girl who always messages him. I mean, it's not like he ignores me (he tends to reply pretty quickly) but he could just be being nice. | I like a guy, sometimes I talk to him on facebook, want to know how to swing conversations around to our common interests. |
t3_feuo4 | AskReddit | Situation, people pushing wrong button. Need to find a 'button cover' Google fails hard | Basically at my job site we have 'push for service buttons' which conveniently are located next to the push for ticket button (parking garage) at our entrances.
100s of times a day people are pushing the wrong button and either don't say anything when we answer the intercom or immediately and annoyingly yell 'SORRY!!'
Besides being annoying, it also can plug up the intercom line with too much traffic when we leave the office and are patching the calls through to a cellphone.
Yes the ticket dispensing button is lit up, says push for ticket..the other button is clearly labeled push for service...I just want to find a cover for the button..I imagine that if a person had to lift up a plastic cover they may reconsider before accidentally pushing the 'wrong button.' | poor design, ticket dispenser button next to push for service, accidentally pushed over and over again, looking for a button cover, google fails me. |
t3_27d4m4 | askwomenadvice | I really enjoy cuddling with friends, but am terrible at explaining why and I lose friends because of it. Help? | Okay. Little awkward to talk about this, but lets do this.
So I'm sixteen. Male. And…well, I really like cuddling. Nothing makes me happier than cuddling/hugging/holding hands/etc. with a female friend. It's how I show I love them, and I have a fuckton of love to show. Unless its my girlfriend, there are no romantic reasons whatsoever for the cuddles.
But I never do ANYTHING without making sure they're okay with it. Problem is, most of the time, I fuck up explaining this to someone and I come off as creepy/sexcrazed/etc. I hate it, I'm not any of those, I just like frigging cuddling.
So ladies of reddit, how the hell do I explain this without coming off as a creep/wacko/etc? | I love cuddling with female friends. Am male. Am terrible at explaining why I like cuddles and that I'm not a creep. Halp. |
t3_2n04y3 | relationships | Me [23/F] with my boyfriend [28/M] have been together for 1 year, are long-distance, and I need advice. | I'm going to try to keep this brief. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. A few months ago, I had to move to Florida for school. He is still back in our home state (California) while I'm here. We've been doing long-distance for a few months now. He is not good with communication, which is causing some stress to our relationship - doesn't like to talk on the phone/text.
On top of the communication issues, he also has been going through a lot lately. Since about June, his mood has completely shifted. When he was once a happy, loving guy, he has been cold and selfish. When something happens, he'll blame me for it, he tells me I'm "too emotional" when I get upset, and he saves no money from his job and constantly asks me to send him money. I always am the one to pay for things when he makes more money than I do (I work part-time while going to school, he has a full-time job). I keep trying to tell myself that it's just a rough period of time because of his personal issues, but being in a long-distance relationship with someone who makes virtually no effort to communicate with you unless they want something is causing me a lot of stress.
Should I try to talk to him about it more? Should I leave? I don't know what to do. I love him, but it's getting so hard. | Boyfriend and I are newly long-distance, since before I moved and still continuing he isn't putting forth much effort into our relationship. |
t3_ka3x2 | relationships | Girlfriend and her "friend." | Hey all, I am a 23 year old male dating a 21 year old girl. Let's call her Sally. We get a long very well, except for one aspect. One night we were out to the bar,and one of her friends, who is gay, let's call her Mary, hooked up with her (made out). This did not make me as uncomfortable as the fact that they waited til I went to the bathroom to do so. In fact Mary's words, were "Hey your boyfriends gone, let's fool around." (All coming from girlfriend's recollection.) This pissed me off quite a bit, the fact that Mary could be so two faced.
The next night, we all went out and Mary came to me privately and said "Aww, are you angry that I stole your girlfriend from you?", all the while sitting on my girlfriends lap, playing with her hair, and whispering in her ear. I took this as a taunt and more or less filed Mary under the list of people I don't care to see anymore. Now, all of this said, Sally and Mary continue to hang out, go to bar, etc together.
Is it wrong for me to be a little ticked off at this? Am I being a douche? What would you do in this situation? | Girlfriend has hooked up with her friend who is a lesbian. This made me uncomfortable, and they continue to hang out. |
t3_2yleoz | relationships | I [31/F] might have come across as competitive with my coworkers [~27-35/F,M] of about two years. | A coworker, Matt, was recently moved into a different department at work. That department is growing but is limited by finances. In conversation with Matt one day, I expressed interest in working in that department some day and I asked him if he had any advice/knew any useful information and also asked if he could give me a heads up (first) if he heard of any spots opening up. I emphasized these things were between the two of us.
Of course, I suspect in the end I was too trusting and I believe he told my other coworkers, specifically that I asked if he would tell me first about any openings. One coworker who he might have told this to, in particular, can be very catty, as I have seen her be this way about others in various situations. I'm afraid I might have really rubbed them the wrong way.
For the future, am I wrong to have these kinds of discussions with coworkers? Maybe I should have gone straight to the head of that/my department to express these interests? I was viewing it as a networking thing, and I wanted to have the best possible chances of being the next hire there before taking official action.
Ironically, in the end, I am no longer so interested in that department. I'm not against moving, but I've decided not to actively pursue it. | Coworker leaked a secret that makes me feel unnecessarily competitive among coworkers. Did I make a mistake and is there anything I could say/do now to "fix" it? |
t3_3f3jmh | Pets | my cat was peeing on my couch constantly. i made a change and she has used the box since then. advice follows. | 95% of the time, when a cat pees or defecates outside of the litter box, it's because they're pissed off. at least that's my experience.
i was extremely sick from about december-april. in april, i went and got allergy tests, i'm allergic to a ton of things like oak, elm, dust mites, roaches (which unfortunately are present in my house), components in hair dye, citrus fruits........ and cats. i have 3 cats. 2 are innie outie. the other one, princess penny, ive had her for 5 years and she has slept with me ever since. (she is a warm cat scarf). once i discovered i was allergic to cats, i kept her out of my room.
penny has been peeing on one of my couches... nowhere else, not the other couch, not on bathroom rugs.... for about 2 months. we have used natures miracle and kept the litter box clean. then my bf, who she absolutely loves as well (he combs her) went to jail and is not allowed to come home till sep 11. everyday she peed on this one couch (we have 2) and i was so frustrated.
my house is 2 story and it gets very hot where i live, so i've been sleeping on the other couch as heat rises. ever since penny and i have been able to sleep together, she has not peed on my couch or anywhere besides the box. we have been through a lot together and i would rather have the sniffles then have her upset and peeing on furniture.
if your kitty is peeing outside of her box, consider changes that were made to her environment (i lived in a shack about 2 years ago and she was not happy that she couldn't leave my room, so i learned not to leave my clothes or a rug on the floor) because i feel that 90% of the time, kitties pee outside their box not because they're just being spiteful, but theyre upset about a change or something else going on. | my cat was peeing on a couch constantly. i realized it was because she wasn't sleeping with me. now she is sleeping with me, i have allergies, but she is now using her box. |
t3_1frfzh | pettyrevenge | Student wants to re-take a test. NOPE. | I'm a high school history teacher and I had one particular student was just particularly hard to get along with. He was a distraction but nothing serious.
One test day he comes to me and says that he was checking out in an hour so he wouldn't be taking my test that day. I tell him no, he can start now, because every other student by that point had taken no more than about 30 minutes to take the test. He obviously just wasn't prepared and thought he could use his early leave as an excuse not to test.
I put him in the hall to test so he can start sooner than everyone else and he tests and takes the full 50 minutes or however long it was by that point. He's clearly mad as he turns in his test and leaves school.
Next day I show him his grade and he immediately demands a retest because he claims he had to rush since he was checking out. This is obviously bullshit, this is late in the semester, I know his bullshit. I tell him I don't do retests.
He threatens to get principals and/or parents involved, just being a pain in my ass. He even asks me just to raise his grade a few points to where it's a C... he wants me to just give him the points no questions asked. I tell him I'll make extra credit available for students who made below a C. Several questions that will add points onto the test score to raise them. He was the only person interested in attempting.
I made the extra credit questions so difficult and nit-picky that he only managed to get one question correct... raising his total score one point, still a D. It was the most satisfying thing I'd done in a while. | Student demands extra credit for a test they did tried to get out of, so I make the extra credit so hard they barely earn any extra points. |
t3_2mke2m | relationships | Am I going crazy, or is this a huge over-reaction? | My gf has a new job and I'm moving to a new city with her. I can work from anywhere as my business is technology based.
Today she wanted to go shopping for some clothes for work and I agreed to go and keep her company, give opinions on her choices, get lunch together etc. We really like spending time together and although I hate shopping in general (and always have) going with her is fun because we just like being together. We're stupid like that.
However, today I needed to have a 5-10 minute discussion with my business partner (BP) to iron out some things regarding some applications for funding and whatnot. I said I'd call in the car and it would be quick. In the end it took at least 15 minutes which was long enough for my gf to drive and get fuel and then park in the shopping center car park.
I was still talking (but finishing up) when we got out of the car. My gf got annoyed and I ended the call a little early, as we were entering the shopping center.
She then got really upset and angry and told me if I want to work I should stay at home. I said that I wanted to come with her and that she knows what's going on with the business at the moment. She got more and more upset and annoyed despite me saying "we're here now, lets go shopping" and decided she wasn't in the mood for shopping.
So we came home, with her crying in the car. She's on the sofa now not talking to me.
She knows what my work is like and has always been supportive. Sometimes I'll work weekends or late and she normally has no problems, at all. But occasionally, if my calls creep into any of "our" time she gets upset about it. This is the most she's flipped out.
We're both in our mid-late 30s. Am I being unreasonable in making that call? Is she over-reacting? I'm so mad about this I just don't know. Help me reddit. | On the phone to business partner for 10 minutes in the car on the way to shopping. Apparently this has ruined the whole day. |
t3_31rrv9 | relationships | I [34/F] dated [33 F] for about 3 months last year, we maintain a friendship and still chat but every so often she asks if I miss her. | So dated this girl about 3 months last year and we ended it amicably and on good terms. I had my suspicions that she more or less broke it off to see someone else and were pretty much confirmed when her FB feed had pictures of her and some other dude on camping trips etc. I'm fairly certain that things between them ended. She still hits me up at least once or twice a week on chat (it has been that way since it ended) and we'll send funny links to one another etc. Every couple months we'll grab some dinner and catch up etc.
Just yesterday she hits me up on the chat again and the first words out of her mouth after Hello are "Miss me?" This is the third or fourth time over the past 6 months that she's asked me this question. I've always skirted around the question and more or less made some joking response about it.
How do I go about addressing this if it comes up again? I don't want to be mean and just so "No I don't miss you." I'd like to keep the friendship, should I just keep avoiding the question? | Dated for a few months, maintained friendship and chat on the computer. Every so often she ask if I miss her. |
t3_1kkkp3 | dating_advice | What do I have to do to at least get her attention? | Hi! I'm new to reddit and this will be my first post. XD
Well, my problem is one of those common Asian male problems. I'm 5"8 and I came to really like a girl whom I met through a friend. The problem arises from the fact that she's 1 inch taller than me and she wants a guy who is taller than her. Damn you, genetics!! This might be a hopeless case for me, but I want to at least try my best and regret nothing. I have never been in a relationship and does not know where to start. | likes a girl who is taller than me and likes tall men. How do i fabulously let her know my feelings? |
t3_22lnhm | relationships | Me [20 M] not sure if girl [20 F] wanna go out with me | So i met this girl on Tinder, who i seems to get along with. Then she wants me to add her on Facebook, which i see as a positive sign.
Pretty fast i decide to ask her out, because why not...
it happens this way:
Me: U seem like a openminded girl with alot of energy
Her: I am!
me: Well then let me take you out for dinner on saturday, and let me get to know you ;)
15min break..
Her: I can't saturday :(
Me: hmm am i right if that means u cant any other day either?
Her: No seriously, i have plans with a friend.
Me: i belive you :)
Her: Great :)
Me: but i had to give it a shot ;)
Her: Ya, nice shot ;)
And now im a bit confused if i got rejectet, or she actually would like to go on a date someday? What do u guys think?
Bonus info: She is very hot 9-10/10 and im probably a 7/10 idk..
She got a lot of offers from guys better looking and with better physique than me, so i wonder why she even gave me attention at the start.
btw. sorry for my poor english :)) | Girl said she couldnt go on a date at the given day, and now i wonder if she even would at all?? |
t3_2o2x1x | relationships | My [23F] boyfriend [26M] has increased his porn viewing since moving in together. | My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, at times on and off again. Our relationship is stronger than it's ever been and last month we decided to move in together. We are both so truly happy and enjoying living together so I'm wondering if it is just an insecurity of mine I wasn't aware of until now.
Since the beginning he has always been shy/closed off when it comes to sex related conversations - to the point that he has told me he rarely self pleasures and even more rarely watches adult videos. I've always just laughed it off thinking he just wasn't comfortable admitting something like that to me. I mean, what man doesn't?? Since moving in he has slowly but surely started to open up.
There was some infidelity at the beginning of the relationship that still keeps me from trusting him 100%. I noticed after moving in together he added a passcode to his tablet and I've never snooped but it made me curious. I broke his trust and figured out his code and just wanted to do a quick once over to see if he was hiding anything. Terrible, I know.
I came upon porn in his browser history from months ago, which doesn't bother me at all because I've watched porn and whatnot. Although he isn't a redditor, he has been (very) frequently browsing r/gonewild and only since the move. For some reason this really bothers me. I think it's because it's real girls with real bodies and not your everyday adult star.
I know I need to tell him about getting on his tablet but I'm not sure how to relay this insecurity to him. I would love any advice. Thank you! | My boyfriend ramped up his porn viewing after we moved in together last month. I found out by snooping on his tablet. |
t3_3xpk8v | relationships | I[32 M] drunkenly told my Wife [31 F] that I was unhappy, and wanted a divorce, which is not true at all. How do I fix this? | Saturday was not a good night.
Accidentally got over the top drunk at a neighborhood Christmas party. Got into an argument with a relative of the hosts and was asked to leave the party. In my defense, this guy is a historic a-hole and although I should have let it go, I got a little to fired up. Definitely embarrassed myself in front of A LOT of people.
Anyway my wife (married for 4 years, together for 13) was obviously not happy, and we started arguing. At home I started blabbing on about how I'm not happy with the way she treats me, I've been unhappy for a long time, I don't think this can work anymore, and started saying how I want a divorce. I have no recollection of saying this, and DO NOT want a divorce. While I admit there are things that I am unhappy with in our relationship that need to be improved/adjusted on both our parts, they are minor. I think that everything was intensified x1000 by my drunken buffoonery.
Yesterday we discussed what happened and I made it clear that I do not want a divorce at all. Luckily I was saying all kinds of stupid nonsensical shit on top of our relationship things, so I'm pretty sure she believes me. I am terrified though that what I said may have permanent repercussions towards our relationship.
I've already decided to evaluate my relationship with alcohol, and the changes I need to make to my life in this aspect. Hoping for some advice on what to say/do to ensure my wife I do not actually want a divorce. | I got stupid drunk and told my wife I wasn't happy and wanted a divorce, which is not at all true. |
t3_nmk1l | AskReddit | 5 hours ago, I (regretably) took two 200 mg caffeine pills, and I woke up and absolutely cannot go back to sleep. Help me go back to sleep? | I stayed the night at my best friend's house, and "yeah, we'll totallly pull an all-nighter, it's the first day of winter break!", etc, so, we go buy a bunch of cheap snacks at the gas station at about midnight, and I eat my iced honey bun, my cosmic brownie, then take the two pills. At about 1, said "fuck that noise," and went to sleep. So, here I am, laying on a couch with a big dog with soft ears at my feet, and mild chest pain.
I think it's probably a good idea to mention I almost very literally never drink any pop or coffee, I've had maybe 2 pops my entire lifetime and never had a cup of coffee, so, my usual caffeine intake is very nearly 0 anythings. Should I just take this as a consequence of taking 400 mg of caffeine and deal with it? Or anyone help me with advice on how to go back to sleep? | Staying the night at a friend's house, took 400 mg of caffeine 5 hours ago, was tired enough to sleep anyway. Now I woke up, but cannot go back to sleep. Help me go back to sleep? |
t3_23yfqr | relationships | in a healthy relationship, do you ever think "I wish I had a partner that X"? [me 27f, him 30m] | Or worse, "I can't wait until I have a partner that X"? Implying that you'll split with your current and find another...
I FEEL like I'm in an acceptable, fine relationship. I am happy most of the time, he said he's happy much more of the time, we have friends together, go out sometimes etc.
details: together 3 and a half years, live together for 1 and a half
But I'd say every few days, something bothers/disappoints me and I still don't know who's "fault" it is. Mine, for being picky/spoiled? His for not doing these things? He knows, he definitely knows as I tell him these things point blank, but he doesn't change.
I hear people say that you shouldn't change a partner, people don't change. But then I hear people suggest counseling and working on things which basically means.. changing.
Some of my stupid examples are, sentences that literally flash in my mind:
"I cant wait until someone tells me they love me every night"
"I wish i had a boyfriend that was excited to cuddle at night"
"I cant wait until I find a boyfriend that suggests new sexual things"
"i can't wait for a man to be excited to take me to an adult store and buy me something or ask me to wear something special/sexy"
"I can't wait until I find a boyfriend that goes to the dentist"
"I wish I had a boyfriend that suggest concerts to go to"
"I can't wait until I find a boyfriend that has ideas of things to do/where to go"
"I can't wait until I find a guy that does something romantic for me"
"I can't wait until I find a guy that looks at me lovingly, holds my hand"
etcetc. These are awful thoughts right? No one in a good relationship thinks this way? Have you ever, and are you still with that partner? | I can't go a couple days without lamenting over a nonexistent "better" partner. is this what people think right before they split? |
t3_v0anp | dating_advice | Have I been wasting 5 years? (20 f) | I've liked this guy for about 5 years now, we'll call him Mark, we're both 20 so this was when we were still in high school up until this point. It's been on and off communicating with him but the feelings I have for Mark haven't gone away. I've told him how I feel and our feelings are mutual towards each other but the timing was always off. As an individual I'm very introverted but with Mark I am more open than I am with others.
He had a girlfriend for a year and a half and just recently in the last month they broke up, so during that year and a half I was very friendzoned. I don't know how or when he will be ready to commit to someone again, but I do have plenty of patience. We text on a regular basis since they broke up and his texts seem suggestive but I don't want to be a rebound. | A guy who has mutual feelings for me just broke up with his girlfriend and I have no idea how to pursue a relationship. |
t3_hxaaw | books | Pick my next read - $10 limit | Just got the new Kobo touch and they provided me with a $10 gift card for their store. Since I wasn't expecting the $10 I thought maybe it would be a cool idea to allow someone else to pick a book for me.
Here's how it works: suggest a book and give a good reason why I should read it. Make sure you check out the kobo store and insure it's under $10 (if it's not let me know, if your case is a good one I might go that way as well). I'll let the post go for one week and I'll pick on persons suggestion based on how well they make a case for it. I will then promise to post a report / review on book after I finish it.
Examples of some of the last few books I've read:
* Born to Run - McDougall
* What the Dog Saw - Gladwell
* Enders Game - Card
* Little Brother - Doctorow
* Hey Nostradamus - Coupland
* Don't Sleep, There Are Snakes - Everett | suggest a book from kobobook store for under $10 and give a good reason, if I pick your suggestion i'll post a review on it. |
t3_2k6h57 | relationships | My[21/M] heartache for her[21/F]. Please help | It started so innocent. I was only going through the motions, experiencing no real feeling or emotion. It was just a game that would soon end and be replaced by the next. Exciting, exhilarating, but always fleeting. Never would I expect this one to end the way it did.
Compared to the others this one was everlasting, somehow fulfilling, seemingly infinite. Weeks turned to months, and I was soon lulled into the sweetest sense of comfort I have ever experienced. Lulled by by the very feeling I had come to acquire. Love. But the months that that I had treated as frivolous began to wear on her. While I relished in the comfort of her love, she was slowly pulling away. As my love grew hers slowly faded, as if her love was somehow bestowed upon me, leaving her depleted. I was blissfully oblivious until it was far too late.
I began to feel her pull away, that sweet comfort slowly fading, soon to be replaced by agony and regret. As she loosened her grip I tightened mine, desperately trying to salvage what was already lost. It was too late. I knew it was too late but letting go was not an option. The tighter I held on the more she pulled away. Soon she was out of my grasp. Never again would I hold her. Never again would I receive her love. I had sapped her dry but never have I felt so empty.
An inner conflict began to form. The one thing I wanted most, the only thing that mattered to me was not possible to obtain. As my mind grappled with this conundrum I fell into an abyss, unable to simply let go. My world was forever changed, as I was given love then stripped of it. Nothing else mattered. Everything else seemed insignificant by comparison. Ignorance truly is bliss. | We were together 1 year and 6 months. I still love her more than anything. I feel like I'm going insane without her. What should I do? |
t3_2x4dhp | travel | Please help with itinerary for two weeks in Ireland | My wife and I will be traveling to Ireland for 2 weeks this June. We are flying round trip to/from Dublin along with our 2 teenage daughters.
We will be renting a car and enjoy traveling slowly to soak up the culture and the scenery. We would like to hike, go whale watching, see castles and other historic sites, maybe a trip to the Aran Islands, and generally just enjoy ourselves in the small towns. Ideally, we'd like to stay in a few different locations for at least 3 nights each. Can anyone recommend some places to base ourselves out of that will have enough to see and do for 3 or 4 days (or more)? I know we want to hit the Dingle Peninsula (and potentially avoid the ring of Kerry with all the tourists, but I'm open to going there too if it's really worth a visit).
Also, we've heard/read on several occasions that the "real" Ireland is outside of Dublin and that there isn't much to see there. I'm okay with avoiding it altogether if there is enough to fill up the two weeks outside of Dublin. | Looking for a few good places to base ourselves out of in Ireland for 3-4 days at a time during our two week stay. |
t3_1lw1v6 | relationships | Me[25F] with my [26M] 4 year friendship/fuck buddy is over and can't get myself to get out of bed and feel anything but emptiness. | Long story short I always thought I was just unhappy, but I realize I can't make myself happy and I get happiness from others. I had a best male friend of 4 years ( i am female ) and I honestly loved him to death and would do anything for him. We started a sexual relationship and he moved in with me for the summer. He realized this wasn't what he wanted, but stayed and I just still wanted him around to be happy. We still spent every day together and continued occasional sex. He flew home yesterday and i didn't say goodbye because he spent his final day with a random girl he had met the night before.
I am heartbroken, alone and so sad to have lost my best friend. He is on the other side of the country now and I told him to stay out of my life, but I need him more than anyone. I know I have to be happy on my own, but I can't even think of one thing that would make me happy. I think now that I must be ugly or flawed or something terribly wrong with me. | Had a best friend for 4 years i would talk to everyday. Finally thought we both shared mutual feelings of wanting more. Ended terribly. |
t3_2tgrrz | relationships | Sometimes feel like my [19F] boyfriend [20M] is just using me to get off on his own? | I didn't really know how to title what I'm feeling, but I guess this is what the description is for! Btw, I'm on mobile, so sorry if there are blocks of text! Here goes:
Bf and I have been together for over 2 years now and are sexually active. While we both have a strong sex drive, we tend to have it at different times...and I guess his may be just slightly stronger.
Basically, we get horny at different times. When he is horny and I'm not, it's sometimes hard for me to just turn it on, but with a little bit of foreplay, I'm good to go! But that's the problem. He doesn't do much of the foreplay. He'll kiss my neck and body a bit, but before I'm even physically ready (my mind has no problem being ready lol) he starts trying to put it in and it just does not feel good as you can imagine.
And when he is finally in, right as it starts to get enjoyable for me, he's done. And I'm just left laying there like something just hit me in the face so fast I couldn't tell what it was.
I tried talking to him about it before and he tried to work on it for a while, but obviously it didn't really work. I brought it up again just now, and I think may have hurt his feelings because I was so frustrated (this time, he was inside for less than 2 min I felt like), I said "I feel like you just use me to masturbate." And he just flipped back on the bed, said "damn," pulled me close to him and now he's asleep -______-.
So my question is how can I approach this with him and really get him to understand how im feeling? I wish I could get horny as fast as he does, but even when I'm thinking sexy things, nothing happens down under!! Or do you guys have any advice on how I can get aroused faster/on command, if you will? Haha thanks!! | sex isn't as enjoyable now because I don't get horny as fast as bf. How can I approach foreplay with him or how can I get aroused faster? |
t3_2n24me | relationships | Acquaintance (37/F) tells me (35/M) "I want to meet a husband" -- red flag? | I met a girl at Toastmasters and she picked me as her mentor. Met her at a cafe to help her out with her speech. As part of the shoot-the-shit phase of friendship, aka small talk, I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She said she was looking for a husband. Before this, I mentioned that I had broken up with my gf this past week. At the end of the meeting, she again repeated that if I know anyone looking for a husband, to send them her way. Is it kosher if I volunteer myself for the role? Or is it a red flag that she states this so early in our friendship.
She's now in France till early December, so I have a few weeks to think about this. | Girl from Toastmasters volunteers that she's looking for a husband and asks me to play matchmaker for her. I'm tempted to volunteer myself for the gig. |
t3_26q6y1 | relationships | How should I react if my BF (23) admits to me about cheating on me (21) when we have a kid together? | So basically my BF and I had lots of sex and I ended up pregnant. While being pregnant he went and got handjobs from different girls and possibly more but I don't know for sure. He admitted to me he did this and for some reason I just don't know how to react. We've been dating for over a year and three months into the relationship I got pregnant.
My reasoning is, it does bother me, but admitting that to him or yelling at him about it wouldn't change the fact that he desires other women, especially considering how sexually active we were when we could see each other every day and suddenly his sexual desires can't be fulfilled anymore, so he gets satisfied from other women. Also, we're not married so I don't feel like it's even worth the hassle getting upset over him sort of cheating.
But I will never tell him that it bothers me because I feel that it's pointless, and I know that he'll just keep doing it. He clearly is attracted to other girls besides me and telling him how I feel won't change that.
How should I react in this situation? Because right now I just blow it off and downplay it, but is that right? Should I tell him how I feel or will it just make life miserable, since we have a kid together and I can't just leave him over something trivial like that. Thoughts? | boyfriend cheats on me but I let it be and don't say anything for the sake of our kid. What should I do? |
t3_2wudv3 | relationships | How would you react in this situation, Reddit? | Your boyfriend (M/29) of about 8 months tells you casually that he's going to see a friend (F/about our age) of his in a town about 4 hours away next weekend. This girl happens to be someone that he met a while ago online. They dated, hooked up an undisclosed but not large number of times, and have been good friends ever since. She helped him with his phd, he helped her through a friend drama situation.
Apparently, this trip had actually been planned and booked at least one week before he casually let me in on these plans, and it turns out it was going to be just the two of them. They will even spend a night with some of her relatives, though I guess that was mostly out of geographical convenience. He acknowledged that I am feeling like he's testing my trust in him. He went anyway.
I really want to trust him and I want him to feel trusted. But. I have been uncomfortable about this all weekend and he gets back tonight. I have not had a good track record at being tactful lately and I really want to say the right thing, but still let him know how I feel.
What would you say? | My boyfriend put me in an uncomfortable situation and I want to talk about it without being accusatory. What would you say or do? |
t3_vb15j | AskReddit | Reddit, What is the most evil/sinister thing you've ever done and gotten away with | I'll start, when I was a kid I was a demon child. I was the biggest teachers pet and all the adults loved me. So one day in 4th grade I got into an argument with this kid. I thought this argument was the perfect time to lay down the law and drop my newest insult "fuck you!". It's super effective, my opponent is stunned. He stares deep into my soul and said the ever dreaded phrase
"I'm telling the teacher!!"
I start to panic, but I realize there is nothing I can do nothing but accept the death sentence that is a call to my parents. As I slowly drag my feet back to the classroom of doom and despair I come across my teacher and the boy who I argued with.
"Miss, he said fuck you to me! he should be sent to the principle!!"
Time slows down, everything gets foggy...
"Don't be silly, insert generic young child's name (ex: Tommy, Billy, Joe, you get the point why are you still reading within the parenthesis)
Yanchanator would never say that!! I'm giving you a detention for lying"
queue fireworks | I told a kid to fuck himself when I was in 4th grade, he told the teacher, she didn't believe him and he got a detention |
t3_2wr06u | relationships | I [21M] have recently had trouble trusting my girlfriend [21F] of 3 years. | And it's totally unwarranted. I don't know why, but for the past several months ago it's just been gnawing at me. She's the kindest, most honest person I've ever met and has never done anything to break my trust. But in general, she is a much more outgoing, busy person than me and as a result we don't spend as much time with one another as other couples might because she's usually doing something. It's never been a problem, we're not clingy people and we even often go a day or two without seeing each other and it's always been fine. Our friend circles don't overlap whatsoever, so its really quite rare that we ever spend time with other people when we're with each other. It's always just her and me. But because I'm seemingly so distant from any aspect of her life that doesn't pertain to me, I feel like she could be a completely different person and I would never know. It's not that I have this need to be more involved in her life or anything, I just want to know what I can change about myself. She isn't the type of person who would cheat, and I don't believe that she would ever cheat on me, but these insecurities that I have are driving me mad. I know the problem is with me, so what can I do to fix my issues? I don't want to lose a great relationship just because of my idiotic doubts. | Girlfriend of three years is amazing and trustworthy, but I have issues trusting her anyway because I'm not too involved with her life outside of our relationship. The problem is with me, not her. |
t3_2vgkoc | loseit | How did you guys keep going? | Sorry for the wall of text.
So I've been eating 1200 cal a day and tracking with MFP and I work out at least four days a week for an hour a piece (switching between cardio and strength training) for the last five weeks. I've been taking measurements and yesterday I measured myself...
No change. At all. It's been five weeks of me killing myself, fighting my sugar addictions, telling myself I can do it and I have nothing to show for it.
My boyfriend had made us some chili dogs for dinner (I had about 1000 cal left that day after my cardio class) and after I saw my lack of progress I literally couldn't bring myself to eat it. He got mad and tossed it, I didn't stop him. I was so upset I began considering awful things like purging any food I ate or cutting my calories to 300/day max.
I have always wanted a flat tummy and legs that didn't rub together and chafe. I finally started doing something about it and put my whole heart into it, changed my lifestyle for it, and I have nothing to show for it.
What do I do now? Has this ever happened to you guys? I thought I would have at least seen skew water weight come off by now. Please help me, guys. This sub has been such an inspiration to me and I want to put up progress pictures of my own one day. | I've been busting my ass for five weeks and have not changed weight or measurements. Feeling very defeated and want to give up. (21f SW:161 GW: 130 CW: 161) |
t3_4nheef | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of about 8 months, she has a bad outlook on anything related to her own education or career | So this probably isn't as big of an issue as other people here talk about but it's been bugging me nonetheless. Bit of background: I go to a college that has a pretty well established career center but by no means is the golden key to a good career. During the summers I find a job through them related to my field so that I can get a head start. She goes to a different college but they of course still have some kind of counselors for career guidance and finding work opportunities.
Anyway I see that it gets her very down sometimes when she sees her peers having success and she isn't. Whenever I try to talk to her about it she always has a pretty pessimistic attitude about it i.e. nobody in her field will ever hire her because she has no experience or when I tell her to talk to a career counselor at her school she assumes they won't have anything to offer her. There's always some excuse.
Recently she managed to find a job through one of her family friends that requires her to take an online course and get a license to actually do the job. The friend who hired her (her boss) told her it would only take about a week or two to finish. And now over a month later she's barely made any progress. I asked her why and she said it was because it was a hard and boring course, but the only thing I hear out of that is that she's being lazy. If not for this job she wouldn't do much more than sit around and watch Netflix for the summer.
I care about her and want her future to be good but she always seems to be dragging her feet or making excuses. Can I help her? | Girlfriend has bad attitude about her education and future and always makes excuses. I care about her and want her future to be bright but her bad attitude make it tough to talk about. Can I help her? |
t3_33c2lb | relationships | Me [23F] with my husband [25 M] of 2y. I want out, he wants to work it out. We have a 5m old baby girl. I know the relationship is doomed, but not sure if it's a good idea to end it just yet. | So here is my dilemma. I know that i'm in a hopeless relationship, but financially it doesn't make sense to end it just yet. He is the sole provider and i'm a STHM. I don't want to return to work and let strangers take care of my baby. She's a bit of a high maintenance child and needs lots of attention. I want to be there for her at least the first few years of her life. At the same time I also want to end my marriage, given that the things between us are getting really tense and awkward.
I could put up with him for a few more years (I don't exactly hate him or anything), at least until she is ready for kindergarten. Then I can enter the workforce and leave him.
Alternatively I can also go back home to my parents, which I know will gladly support me and their grandkid, however, they are highly religious people and i'm afraid I don't really share their views anymore. What's more, I know that they will feel entitled on some level to have a say in how i raise my child (they wanted us to change her name, mom keeps asking me if i'm taking her to church, etc).
Sure, I can also try counseling and "save" our marriage. However, I doubt that that will make me love him. I was never that into him to begin with, and this whole marriage thing was a big mistake. I do think he "loves" me or at least the very idea of me, and can't see how incompatible we are. | For the sake of my daughter's wellbeing have to choose between staying in a hopeless relationship for a few years or moving back into a religious and controlling family. |
t3_2aotpi | relationships | Struggling with whether or not to tell bf about abusive childhood | I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now, and I really think it could work out. He treats me with love and respect, and more recently, we have been more open about talking about the future, as well as generally more open discussing our past and current feelings. Once or twice I have hinted at things in the past that I don't really want to discuss, and have never talked about with anyone outside of my immediate family.
Without getting into a lot of detail, my dad was physically and emotionally abusive for the first 16 years of my life. He still loses his temper occasionally, but for the most part I consider the past to be the past and want to think that I'm over it. I don't consider what I went through to be worse than what many people have gone through, and I don't feel that it's very useful to dwell on it. But of course, I know that there are lasting effects - my overpowering fight or flight response, difficulty in trusting others, and fear of disagreements, in particular.
Recently my boyfriend has asked me to talk to him about this (though I doubt he has any idea what /this/ is). I'm reluctant to because it's hard to talk about and not that relevant anymore, because I don't want him to feel like I am making excuses for the way that I am, because I don't want him to think that it's an issue, and because if our relationship continues to become more serious, I don't want this to affect how he sees my parents and the potential for a positive relationship between them. Despite everything, I love my parents deeply, and am working toward fully forgiving my dad for everything that he did when I was younger.
Anyway, I'm not totally sure what to do. I feel that for our relationship to work, these are the kinds of things that we should be able to talk about, but there are consequences for actually doing so. I've tried to talk to a therapist, but I've been skeptical as to whether it actually helps out, and a large part of me thinks that the best thing to do is just to pretend that everything never happened, but given the lasting effects, maybe that's not the most healthy thing to do. | need to deal with lasting effects of childhood abuse, not sure if necessary to talk to bf for several reasons, including that it would probably hurt the potential relationship between him and my parents. |
t3_krl9m | AskReddit | I'm considering getting a boat as an alternative to normal housing | Hi Reddit, Recent addition, and already wanting to tap into the hivemind. For the last few years, my life has been coasting, always holding back from doing anything for fear of failure, Lost my job a year ago and have been living on the parent's sofa looking for employment in the area, but finding none. I feel like that if i don't do something soon, i'm going to end up living on that sofa for the remainder of my life, waiting for my chance. I've been looking into alternative housing options for a while now, Apartments in my area ( 08059 for those interested) are absurdly priced, cheapest i found was a hole-in-the-wall was 750 a month, without utilities. Trailers in the area are cheap, but also in a bad area. Recently, i found a listing for a 1960s fishing boat for cheap, like sub thousand dollar cheap. The Hull is intact, and the engines have less than 500 hours on them from their last rebuild (and are also diesels to boot), and the local marinas are cheaper than the apartments. My friends and family are divided between telling me i'm nuts for wanting a "Hole in the water you fill with money" on one side and supportive "That's awesome, second best idea ever" on the other. I don't have much in the way of boating knowledge, and few practical skills besides computer-related and hydraulic crane operation.
Thanks to not going to college and my parental foresight, i have a minor amount of "Get your life started" funds, nothing spectacular, but enough. Thanks again, Reddit | Stupid newbie with no skills or job wants to get a boat to live on, trying to start life but failing miserably |
t3_1z7ny2 | jobs | Possibly moving on from my current job, not sure when to notify my boss | Let me start out by saying that I absolutely love my job. My coworkers are great, I love the hours, I look forward to going in, and I am really close with my boss. The only problem is that there is not a lot of room for advancement, and the salary I'm making now will not be enough when my wife and I decide to start a family and buy a house ~5 years from now.
An opportunity has recently presented itself to me through some connections I have to make a huge leap in my career. The pay would be roughly the same at the start, but 5 years from now I should be earning about 25% more and will continue to rise from there on out.
This is obviously a no brainer for me. I'll be interviewing in about 3-4 weeks and it's an unposted position, just an internal referral hiring. So as long as I can nail the interview, I should have a pretty good shot at landing the job. Obviously I know nothing is a guarantee, but the odds are in my favor at this point.
This brings me to my current job. I work at a small start up (~15 employees) and as of now I have a lot of responsibility that will take time to replace. My question is, should I be upfront and honest with my boss now on what's going on, or should I wait until I get an official offer and then drop my two weeks notice? I'm not sure how he'll react, I know he'll be very upset as he sees me as more of a long term asset. The problem is, I'm very close with him. I consider him a good friend. That's partially my fault for developing a relationship of that nature with my boss, but it is what it is at this point.
Thanks in advance for your help! | I know I'm not obligated to inform my boss that I may be getting a new job in a month or so, but I want to do right by him and give him time to prepare for me leaving. |
t3_33g701 | relationships | I [23M] ended the relationship, but my now ex [21F] is having trouble accepting it. | I ended my 4 year relationship last week. I had fallen out of love, I still care about her immensely but no longer romantically.
I change and grew throughout the relationship but she relatively stayed the same, I have grown out of the relationship. I realized we wanted different things in life, our lifestyles were too fundamentally different and that neither of us could fulfill certain needs the other has.
Telling her this was horrible, it hurt and it was a difficult conversation. She was irate, ugly and disrespectful; I understood. She keeps saying she wants to just take a break and live apart and our relationship will rekindle because her love for me is wholeheartedly unconditional.
I know how much she is hurting right now so I don't want to keep iterating that it's done. Whenever she brings it up I always respond with "I don't know what the future will hold, we will see how we feel in a few months after not seeing each other". No matter how many times I tell her I don't want to have that conversation she somehow always sucks me in.
I feel horrible saying this to her because I know that I've moved on. She is in a very fragile state right now, especially with her anxiety, so I don't want to overload her.
She's moving out of our apartment into a new house with her friends on Saturday. I'm hoping that after having no contact for a couple months will help her healing process and possibly let her start moving on.
I'm worried that when we see/speak to each other in a few months that she will still be holding on to getting back together. If that is the case, how should I address this without getting involved in a drawn out emotional battle? I don't want to be rude or mean but I also want to make it clear that the relationship has ran its course. | Ex holding on rekindling after couple months NC, how to address the conversation without being rude when I've made it clear the relationship is done? |
t3_491gfm | relationships | Me [25F] with my fiance [30 M] 3 years, I am just angry all the time! | Going to try to explain this without it getting too long, but you know, everything is always more complicated than someone can type out on reddit.
Anyway, I have been dating my fiance for over 3 years. The first 8 months of our relationship we spent a ton of time together, then after that I moved overseas for work, so we are currently in a long distance relationship. We text every day, talk on the phone a few times a week, skype once a week, and see each other 2-3 times a year.
Recently I have just been so angry about nothing. I see a text message from him and I just feel rage. I feel terrible because my responses to anything he says have been one word and short due to me being angry. I've been meditating and reading tons of articles to try to get to the bottom of it, but I can't explain it. When I am at work or not thinking about him, the rage subsides. So I've at least figured out it's something with the relationship/us.
Currently I think part of it is I'm feeling lots of uncertainty about our future. He lost his job about 2 years ago, then went back to school and had some internships, but doesn't really go gung-ho on the job search to find something in his field. Part of me is really worried that when we move in together and get this show on the road, I will have to support him and if something happens to me he won't be able to there for me emotionally or financially. When I brought this up to him he kind of brushed it off and focused on other issues.
I really don't know. Even typing this, I feel like that's not the ultimate source of my anger and I can't get to the bottom of it. I've tried to talk to him a few times but I think I'm so confused about my own feelings that we can't have any kind of productive argument until I get to the bottom of it.
Have any of you just had this inexplicable anger towards your partner/relationship? What was the cause of your anger? How did you deal with it? Any advice is helpful and appreciated! | Feeling angry at partner/relationship and have no idea why. Want to get to the bottom of it and move on, but how? What am I even angry at? |
t3_2sl4s9 | relationships | I (38F) am confused by my relationship with him (44M). Attraction seems to have died but he still wants to be with me. | We have been dating 2 years.
For the first year and a bit we were much more affectionate and loving. We would cuddle. He would call me cute nicknames. He would tell me he loves me before bed. He was more flirty, and just generally sweeter.
Now, over the past 6 months I've noticed we have become more like friends. Buddies. Nobody would ever even think we were a couple. He still tells me he loves me, and we still see each other daily. But he never flirts with me ever and if I try I don't get much response. He doesn't say goodnight to me very much through text anymore --- when I say goodnight to him, he's often already gone to sleep. He used to text me first thing when he woke up. That rarely happens. I do sweet things for him very often and he doesn't really seem to notice much.
We have never had a lot of sex just due to the fact it is hard for us to be alone, but we still have as much as we ever did.
When we hang out, we act a lot like really good friends. Even on the phone, if someone was listening in they would think we were buddies or co-workers. He is not sweet with me at all. But because he used to be, I know he absolutely can be -- apparently he just no longer feels like it.
Overall I would think he's losing interest, bored, pulling away. That's exactly what it feels like. But he keeps saying he wants us to move in together. Huh? We do have fun and like hanging out and we share the same interests. He says he finds me attractive (but it doesn't feel at all like he's in love, but he claims he is). What do I do with this?? Why would someone start acting like this? | BF doesn't seem to be interested in me much now, but claims he still wants to live with me and be with me forever. |
t3_1rxdkr | relationships | Is it time for me [27 M] to break things off with my [25 F] girlfriend who's moving away in August? | I'm approaching the 2nd year anniversary of the longest relationship I've ever been a part of – prior to my current girlfriend I've had lots of short-term, non-committal flings, but nothing serious. I have really enjoyed being a part of her life, but I feel like we're hitting a point where we need to start putting some "work" into the relationship to keep it alive. It's felt flat lately and I seem to get easily annoyed with her.
I think we could get past that, but the problem is that she's moving in August and we're not the type of couple that could pull off a long-distance relationship. I know that I'd be more willing to try to work things out with her if she were going to keep living here, but since she's leaving it just doesn't feel "worth it". I'm also 27 and she's only 25, so we're in somewhat different phases of our lives – I feel like, at 27, I should be in a more "comfortable" relationship that has an actual future – she and I both know this one doesn't.
Another issue is that I only have a couple of good friends living nearby – I spend a good bit of time hanging out with my girlfriend and her friends, so she is one of my primary social outlets. I like some of her friends and am not a huge fan of her others, so it can be an OK time when we go out with them, but I'm not usually having a great time. She's unhappy with me today because I don't want to go to a party being held by a friend of hers, but I really just don't feel like going.
Should I just suck it up and take the easy way out by riding it out til August when she moves or break it off now? | She's moving in August and we're losing the connection we used to have so I'm unhappy in the relationship - should I ride it out for a few months or is it best to cut it off? |
t3_44e3cv | relationships | I'm 29/F and I've never had a boyfriend. Please help me change that. | If you're reading this, thanks for reading this. I'm so appreciative of any advice from others that have felt or are feeling this way.
I'm a 28/F and I haven't had a relationship in my adult life. I'm really very attractive, very funny, really fucking cool, but I am **ruining my life.**
It's happened over and over again:
* I meet a guy. We hit it off. We have the best conversations. We text endlessly. We have so much fun. He adores me, etc.
* My vulnerability radar starts going off after date #3, #4 usually and I freak out. I become the most overanalyzing, insecure, overcompensating idiot.
* I close off and essentially self-destruct a relationship by feeling like I have to guard my feelings, play it cool, not say that, say this, etc. and I watch our connection dissipate to nothing.
* He slowly loses interest out of confusion or just enough of the bullshit. We either don't speak again or cross paths again later and the same event transpires.
I've been to therapy. I've done a lot of self-work that's brought me to a really happy place with myself, my work, my life (this shit excluded.)
I guess I still haven't figured out a lot. And honestly, I'm reaching out today because I met someone really, really special. And I can't keep doing this to myself but I also can't keep doing this to other people. Especially not him. We've talked for over a month and just went on our first date and...I feel myself doing it again.
Has anyone else had this problem with shutting down and vulnerability and trying too hard and not trying at the same time? Thank you. | I haven't let anyone in for so long that I don't know how to do it anymore. How do I get over this? |
t3_4i15zv | relationship_advice | [30/m] Here. Still having issues letting go of my ex [22/f] of 9 years and mother of my child.... | *****She's 29********
Typo!!
She [29/F actually] broke up with me almost 3 years ago. NC was close to impossible due to our responsibilities with our child. She's been in a committed relationship since that time.
I still have a hard time letting go of her. I caused the mistakes during the initial stages of the relationship and then she turned around and made her own which ultimately led her to end it all.
She's told me recently that although she feels secure with the guy she's with, he doesn't make her feel the way I did. We've shared intimate (not sexual) moments where she emits feelings of love.
I've dated and messed around with other girls but I feel as if my heart won't let me find or accept another one. My life revolves around taking care of my daughter which is ultimately tied to my ex. It seems like I can't escape her as much as I want to.
I'm not obsessed or pining anymore over her. But there's this deep deep seated sense of an unwillingness to detach that I wish I could turn off. | I still love my ex of 9 years after a three year break up. We share a daughter and it makes it hard to completely let go and I want this annoying longing to end so I can move on completely. |
t3_4uryba | personalfinance | I (21) have bad credit as a result of a mis-identification | First of all I am in NJ if that helps.
I just checked my credit report and found that there are a plethora of charges against my account. After reviewing the charges I requested a full credit report from annualcreditreport.com to verify that creditkarma hadn't made an error. After finding the charges to exist on my report, I also noted an "alternate name" and "alternate SSN" on my file. These alternates belong to my father, and we also verified that the charges should have gone on his credit report and that he's never used my credit info or inputted my SSN anywhere.
The big part here is that my father and I share a name with the exception of a different middle name.
My issue is I am wondering if there is any legal action to be taken in this, as without my SSN or middle name, my father's charges should not have shown up on my file. This is alarming to both of us because not only was his SSN compromised had I not been a blood relative, but my credit report suffered as a result of some of his late payments. I am just looking to see from you guys if you have any advice on the matter. Thank you for reading this and I appreciate any help or advice! | My dad and I share a name and my parts of his credit were confused with mine, with me suffering as a result of some of his past accounts that should not have even been on my file. |
t3_jgxvw | AskReddit | Friends dad passed away leaving her money she desperately needs now but can't find what happened to it. | For reasons I'd rather not disclose my friends dad passed away when she was 2 (now 22) and he left some money in her name that she now finally needs the only problem is, she can't find where it is. Her mom isn't the most helpful person either. As far as I have been able to understand the money was left to her in a bank (obviously) and that bank was the taken over by another? She got a hold of one place and they transferred her to another and essentially they couldn't find anything or never got back to her. I guess what I am asking is there a way to search for all money in your name or anything? | Friends dad passed away and left her money which she now needs and cannot be found. What I am asking is is there a way to search for all money in your name or anything? |
t3_3u910w | relationships | Please give me some advice. Stuck in a break up dilemma for nearly 2 years. | This is my first post at Reddit. Hope that I can get some help. Here is my story:
We are both 19 this year. I broke up with my first girlfriend (Started liking her since 12 and only got together after 5 years of waiting) nearly about 2 years ago. I broke up with her out of sadness and anger. (I am quite certain that my decision making system got clouded by my emotions that very day)
As far as I can tell, one part of me really want to get her back in my life and another part saying that it is all over. She still cross my mind every now and then but I will just slap myself on the face so that I will stop thinking about her. I keep having this feeling of "getting chain" to her. No matter what I do, I will end up trying my way to get back to her. (Giving myself excuses to text her or find her. Well, of course I did not because I am afraid I will bother her.) One of her girlfriends told me that I should stop trying to salvage this relationship. (She told her girlfriend and her girlfriend just kindly let me know.)
I know that she is not seeing anyone right now but that little little fire in my heart just could not let this go. My heart tell me to give it another shot of wooing her again but my head logically tell me that it is impossible and she probably want nothing to do with me. We cut contact ever since we broke up and I only message her from time to time like maybe twice in a year asking for help (something like work.)
When I thought that I can finally start moving on, I will suddenly dream of all the happy moment with her or how we get back together as a couple after the break up. The process of everything repeat again and again. I am kind of tired of this as it is draining me badly. I want to give myself an answer to shut my inner demon up. | I don't know what should I do now. I am having mixed feeling. Should I go with my heart and give it another go or just follow my head and be done with it? |
t3_37q970 | cats | Thinking about letting my four year old cat transition from being an indoor to indoor/outdoor cat. Thoughts? | My cat, Toulouse, has been an indoor cat only since I picked him up from a farm as a kitty. He has spent most of his life living with other pets. That sufficiently provided enough stimulation and exercise for him. He has now been living as a single pet with me for the 9 months. Toulouse has started developing some behavioral issues in the last couple of months that have only gotten worse. He's put on weight, cries constantly, but my biggest concern is that he has starting biting people. Nipping might be a more appropriate term. It seems territorial in nature, but I'm not sure.
I know he doesn't get enough stimulation now. I live with two other people in a large apartment but he doesn't run around chasing dogs or cats like he used to. I try to play with him but I struggle to find toys that will interest him for more than a few minutes at a time. I've taken him on a couple of walks. He's done relatively well. He shows a lot of interest while we are outside and spends most of his life sitting in windows.
I'm considering letting him spend some time outside by himself. I want him to live a healthy life and have a chance to be mentally and physically exercised. I'm afraid I'm not providing him the best environment currently. As far as his physical safety goes, he has a microchip. He's been spayed. I know he would need a collar and a tag as well. He has his claws. I know I would need to keep him on flea medication. Are there any other measures I would need to consider before letting him out? Speaking mentally, can a four-year-old cat transition into a part-time outdoor feline successfully? Are there things I can try with indoors to help him be happier with his current living situation? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. | Four-year-old indoor only cat is getting fat and mean. I am wondering if letting him outside periodically would help his overall well-being. |
t3_3yfd30 | relationships | Me [24F] with my cousin[22F] I think she in a dangerous relationship with her [29M] boyfriend of a six months. | Over the holiday my family came to visit and my cousin that I am not close with filled me in on what's been going on in her life. She is moving in with her boyfriend.
Her father hasn't met her boyfriend yet but he has told us that he already has a bad feeling about the guy and the situation because my cousin has a history of dating terrible people.
Fast forward a few days and I come to find out via the internet that this guy has been busted for pimping...obviously that's kind of unsettling. After all that I decide to snoop a little more and I come to find out that he has a few dating profiles still active and he identifies as a Dom/Daddy.
Now I know that what happens behind closed doors is there business, but I am also worried because my cousin has been very sheltered and she is also very gullible. I'm not sure what to do in this situation. I don't want her to end up mistreated or pimped out because she thinks that this man loves her.
He has a few websites with home made porn that is pretty violent, so you can probably see why I'm concerned. I thought about talking to her father about it but since she is an adult I'm pretty sure that nothing can be done.
She doesn't seem like the kind of person that would be okay with this situation and I'm not even sure if she knows that he has active dating profiles. I am not close with her at all, so I don't really know how to handle this situation. | Younger cousin is dating a guy that used to be a pimp that is also heavy into bdsm culture. Not bashing bdsm culture but she's sheltered and this could be a dangerous situation. |
t3_2q1oic | relationship_advice | I (23/f) no longer want to have sex with my bf (31/m) | My boyfriend and I had a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago. We were relying only on my birth control pills. We had been living together for 5 months and discussed what we would do in the event of an accidental pregnancy...he always said he would support me and a baby and didn't think abortion was right since he felt he was able to take care of a child. I also didn't believe in abortion and took my pills religiously but it still failed.
We spent weeks fighting about what we ought to do and it was truly damaging to me and our relationship. He changed his mind and decided abortion was the only option. I disagreed and stuck to my values telling him I would raise it myself or put it up for adoption. He pressured me a few times to abort but when I refused he said he would want to be involved in the baby's life.
Ultimately I had an early miscarriage and we are still together. However the event has really scarred me and I no longer have a desire to have sex. I told him this and said we should talk about it and he was a bit rude about it, saying he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore. I'm hurt because I think we had more to this relationship than just sex but I guess I was wrong.
I understand sex is an important part of a relationship but was I wrong to expect a more sympathetic response? It's not just the fear of pregnancy that keeps me from wanting to be intimate with him, it was the way he handled the situation that I find off-putting. | my boyfriend was unsympathetic during an unplanned pregnancy that ended in miscarriage and I don't want to be intimate with him anymore due to his attitude and fear of getting pregnant again. Is he right to be angry with me? |
t3_1uhjb7 | weddingplanning | Return the Engagement Ring? | Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but I need some advice. My fiance and I got a ring in October. We were taking a while agreeing on the payment and the jewelers pushed back payments a month to help us(from Dec to Jan). On the receipt it says "First Payments due December" but it's crossed out with a pen and "January" is hand written beside it with the amount.
We kept getting calls this week that we were past our due date and so I called back. The woman(who was there when I got the ring) told me that I have to pay the payment for Dec, Jan AND the interest in Jan. This means that I have to pay around $700 instead of the $400 that was AGREED UPON IN THE STORE. My fiance is furious and wants to return the ring and go somewhere else.
If we go that route, is it possible to take that ring(before we return it) into another jeweler and say "Hey, we were thinking about returning this ring at that other place. Do you have something similar to it and at a similar price? If not, I'll keep this one." Sort of... using the old ring as leverage? My fiance thinks its a stupid idea and won't work. I want to know if he is right. What do you think?
RING: | Should I return the ring as a matter of principal? But before I return it, can I use it as leverage at another store? |
t3_4gurjm | Advice | I got myself in sort of a hole. I need some help. | OK so this might be kind of long.
So basically i separated from the Military last friday to accept a new job offer.
Almost immediately after leaving I started having some serious regrets. I had to literally drive across country to make it back home to start my new job. I actually ended up calling my bosses back in the Military to ask if there was a chance i could go back they told me there was a chance but i have to act quick and come back as soon as possible.
The problem is I think I really want to go back in but I already accepted this position and someone stuck there neck out to get it for me. They are currently paying for the hotel I am in now and paying for my training.
If i were to go back which is really what i think i want to do their would be only a chance i would be able to still make it back in and i would completely ruin this job. So i could risk losing both.
Should i just be honest with my employer and say look theres a chance i could still go back to the military which would require me to drive all the way back across the country. Or should i just stick it out in my new job which i don't think I'm going to enjoy. | I regret leaving the military and I could go back but i would screw over someone who put a lot of work into getting me a new job. |
t3_2tq9fg | jobs | Entry Level Jobs For a 19 Year Old Part Time College Student | (First time poster here, I am not sure if this is the right location)
I live in the United States, suburb near a large city, High School Diploma, enrolled in Community College
Right now, I enjoy my job for the most part. I work at a grocery store meat department, 8 hours a day Fri-Sat-Sun and go to school/do school work Mon-Thurs. I am currently making $9 an hour, and I feel I could be making more somewhere else. A co-worker of mine just recently quit because he found another job for $12 an hour and he only has a High School Diploma and isn't even enrolled in college at the moment. I know that not everybody can afford college, so there have to be jobs out there that make more money for those fresh out of high school. My father works for a Newspaper and he said he could get me a job making more money, but it would be at horrible hours that I could foresee conflicting with my school schedule because college is my number one priority. I should also mention that I will be paying 100% for my schooling with no parental help. What would be some good places for me to look for a part time job that would make me more an hour than my retail job right now? | Making $9 an hour at retail job and going to College and I want to find a higher paying job that is part time on weekends because of school |
t3_1bcp0w | self | My plea to Reddit. | Hi Reddit,
Please excuse any grammar or spelling errors as I have been drinking tonight.
I ask all of Reddit to please not let your friends drink and drive. I stopped my childhood friend who I met in Kindergarten (We are both 25 now) from driving home tonight. We had 4 people playing beer pong and we played 10 games.
I drink a lot more than him, I am not wasted but I also knew I shouldn't be driving. It took a lot of convincing and lying to get him just to stick around for 5 more minutes.
Sure enough he ended up puking and passed out very shortly after on the couch.
He is back in town to visit his parents and they literally live 2 minutes away. I have never seen a cop EVER between his house and the one I am living at now.
But I could of save some innocent live tonight or his for all I know.
So please Reddit, the DUI, the life, the car, the getting home so your parents don't worry, ITS NEVER WORTH THE FUCKING RISK. Stand up to them. It is always better to be safe than sorry. | Reddit don't let your friends drink and drive. Nothing bad in the story above happened and I hope all of you do the same. |
t3_14wy7x | AskReddit | Are there fewer gentleman now or are we just looking back with rose tinted glasses? | So, I am a female. The other day I was having a conversation with a fellow female about, well, males. A lot of the single women I know have always mentioned how they feel that mens attitude towards women has changed over the past ten years and now many of them are content just to bang as many women as possible rather than get involved in a committed relationship.
I have a lot of male friends and I know they're really good guys who would never dream of messing a girl around (well, some of them). Yet all the guys I seem to come across romantically, bar a select few, are more than happy to screw a girl over. I want to believe that there are more gentleman than douchebags out there but sometimes it's hard.
So my question is this, does reddit believe that more men are choosing to become douchebags or are women just looking back on the 'old days' with a distorted view? | are more men choosing to be douchebags to women because it's easier or has the ratio of douchebags always been this way? |
t3_gf5ep | relationships | Male college student here, one of my best mates from college likes a girl that I was best friends with in middle school, who I also like(d). He wants to take her to our Fraternity Formal and asked me if it's ok... I don't know if it is. | Basically, this girl was my best friend when we were in middle school/freshman year of high school. I moved away and we remained good friends via mail/internet. We both go to college now in Florida and last fall she finally made her way over to see me for my birthday and our fraternity's formal. A night before we were at a club and started making out and it was weird because she was only ever "just a friend" but also my first high school homecoming date. We ended up making out in my bed that night for hours. Then, the next day when it was formal, we don't really talk about it and my friend (male) from college seems really upset that day. That night, during the after party, they (my two friends) are touchy feely and when we come home they start making out with me still in the room. I've never been so pissed in my life and go up to sleep in my bed. Next day she left and it was awkward. I don't talk to him for about a week and then we finally talked, he said it was weird because when we were at the club she had also been kissing his neck before i got to the dance floor because i was waiting for the bathroom line. Anyway, almost 4 months later he says he's been talking to her and wants to bring her to this semester's formal. I think i have a problem with it... What should I do? | best friend hooks up with best middle school female friend and it bothered me, we worked it out but now he wants to take her to our formal this semester and I don't think I'm ok with it... Advice? |
t3_1klp5v | relationships | Me[24M] pushed away my girlfriend [23F] at her family's campground after getting really drunk. | I feel really awful and have never had an ugly attitude like that when I was drunk to push away anyone.
We've been going out for a year and a half already.
I've been feeling pretty depressed and mixing it with alcohol was a recipe for disaster going into the campground.
After about 10 mix vodka drinks is about when it began. I started getting really jealous of who she talked to and she got mad at me for overreacting. I knew I was wrong and just want to sleep outside or in the car -- not in the tent with her because I knew I was wrong. She got even more mad and tried to drag me to the tent and that's when I pushed her away from me...
The next day after the incident, I could tell all her family already knew what happen. I just shut my self out because of embarrassment and childlike behavior that I displayed.
Once we left the camp, she wanted to stay away from me for a week. I'm unsure if I should send flowers or just give her the time she requested.
I rather lose the alcohol out of my life than her. I sincerely do have a problem and just rather live my life without alcohol.
Also I don't even know how to bring up any conversation after the week is up, except offering a big apology to her and her family. | I pushed my girlfriend after getting really drunk and I don't know how to repair our relationship after she asked to be away from me for a week. |
t3_2z6oq1 | relationships | Me [32 M] and my[29 F] girlfriend had been together for nearly 8 years. Found out she have cheating on me with our neighbor. Need advice. | We split up and she moved out off our apartment a couple of weeks ago. Our relationship had been really rocky the last 6 months or so, lots of fighting and arguing. We have a 3.5 year old son together. Friday night I borrowed her ipad because I had our son at my place and he loves to play games on it. On a whim I thought I should check her facebook because she had been really trying to log out of every social media app before she handed it over to me.
What I found was that over at least 3-4 months time she have been seeing our upstairs neighbor. The conversations had alot of cute messages to each other and some sexual. Turns out they have been cooking meals together, having sex in our shared bed etc.
We told each other when we split up that we should try and work things out and maybe down the road move back in with each other, she even invited me over to sleep and cuddle?!.
That's the gist of it, I feel so damn betrayed. When I confronted her I was met with a lot of silence and she didn't have anything to say except she thought I never loved her and she felt unappreciated.
I've deleted her on every social media and said that the only contact I want with her is concerning our son. Is this the right way to go? Even just seeing her face or hearing her voice makes me wanna puke. I feel so damn betrayed. Meanwhile I have the guy she cheated with living just above me.
Thanks, sorry for grammar but english is not my first language. If you wanna know more just ask. | SO of 8 years betrayed me and lived a double life cheating on me with our neighbor. We have a 3.5 year old son together and need to have some contact with each other. How should I handle this? |
t3_1gb6bf | AskReddit | Reddit, I need your help. | Hey reddit,
So I'm not sure if I'm posting this to the right subreddit, I don't even know if anyone can help me, but it's worth a shot. I need your help because right now I'm suffering from a crippling depression and potentially bipolar disorder. Now I know that the thing to do is to go to the doctor, however I have tried that to no avail. I've gotten wait listed, rejected, and some places didn't even call me back. One or two said yes, but didn't accept my insurance so it would have run a pretty penny every visit and I don't have that kind of money. And I'm coming to you all because I have no idea what to do. It has been ruining my relationship of over a year. I want to save the relationship as does she but the depression is making it hard for both of us. So I am looking for some help here and for those of you who can take the time to offer some advice or anything, it will be greatly appreciated. Thanks. | I'm kinda fucked up in the head and doctors won't see me. It's ruining my relationship and I need your help. |
t3_1531nx | relationships | I [19, F] should have every reason to be happy with my SO[20, M], but every now and then it just doesn't feel right. | We've been together for just over three years. Lately, sometimes after sex or just hanging out I'll feel like he just isn't the one for me. But other days or late nights while we're together or when we're apart, I'll have this knowledge of absolute certainty that he's the one for me. I don't know if this is normal or I should take it as a sign.
Before our 2nd anniversary, he broke up with me twice, about a week long each time but we decided to reconcile both times. From our 2nd anniversary to our 3rd aniversary, it went GREAT, we only had a serious fight like once and just small disagreements that were solved without any tension. Once in a bluemoon I'll feel some kind of hurt still from when he left me but I'll get over it because we're fine now and he deeply regrets both of those times and he's expressed his regret many times.
I should mention that we see each other almost every day, and definitely have conversations every day. Maybe it's just that I see too much of him. Can anyone give me some insight or relate on what the heck is happening with me?
I've heard the saying that 'no reason to leave is no reason to stay' but I really do love him and I'm scared that he might actually be the one for me. I don't want to risk losing that. | Relationship with boyfriend is great, but I still occasionally feel unsure of whether or not he's for me. Can't figure out what is wrong. |
t3_2jr4ql | relationships | Has anyone gotten engaged super early and it lasted? [22F] at that point and my parents did the same and I have no support. | First the question then my story.
Has anyone gotten engaged early on in a relationship? How did you know and did you follow through?
Well I have met this great guy and the way we have hit it off is insane. I've known him for about 9 years (we were never close friends) but we have just recently been talking more and now in a serious relationship. When I saw recently, I mean about 2 months. And we have been talking about the possibility of marriage... I'm crazy. Yes, I'm aware of this.
I could go on and be a sap about how well we mesh and our long and short term goals match but I'm not going to. I have an 8 month old son from a drunken mistake and my son leaned right into this guy the first time he saw him and they have been inseparable. It makes my heart melt.
To the point now. My mom and dad knew each other 3 months before they got engaged and they were happily married for 17 years until she was killed in a car accident. All of that happiness aside, my dad is strongly against everything about this relationship even on a friendship level. My father and I don't have the best relationship but we both try to make most of it. I'm thinking maybe if he sees that I truly am happy with dude that it's hurting him because he is thinking of my mom?
I'm just trying to balance out my crazy emotions from being on cloud nine and the crap I'm getting from family. | Father who got engaged early doesn't support my relationship that is progressing to that and I'm not sure how to balance it. |
t3_1lifee | relationships | How do I [24F] behave/talk to mutual friends [23-25M & F] between my ex [24M] and I? | My ex and I broke up almost 2 years ago. I found someone, and moved on fairly quickly. He eventually found someone else. During this time, and even time with his current gf, he asks about me to our friends. However makes no effort to contact me, to the point of avoidance.
How to I speak to my friends when they talk about him? They seem to avoid mentioning him at all costs in front of me, or awkward when they do. I have no problems talking about him, but I do not wish to seem awkward or over caring.
I am second guessing all my reactions.
Guidance please? Anecdotes welcome! | Broke up with ex bf [24M] almost 2 years ago. He has been avoiding me [24F] but asks about me to our mutual friends. How to I talk about him without seeming like I over care? |
t3_49fk7a | Advice | Move on or keep trying with first love (very serious) | After a long 2 year relationship with a lot of ups and a lot of downs me and my now ex decided to take a break. After a month I saw her with another guy and knew I had to have her back as it crushed my heart and snapped me back to reality. After a breif week of texting we talked in person and everything felt right again. Saying the usual I miss you and it's nice to talk and see you. It wasn't until that night I had figured out she had been having sex with my teammate who I knew she was seeing but I had never thought this. She was a virgin when I was with her and it took around a year and a half for me to finally have sex with her. This crushed my heart and soul and now I don't know what to do. I told her I needed time and space. She was also crushed seeing me this way and tried to allude to us being together again she just needed time. I've done some pretty shitty stuff as the ladder half of our relationship I didn't know how to tell her I needed a break thus didn't do things she wanted to it wouldn't come as a shock.before I found out about the sex just 2 months after she had been seeing him I was convinced to do anything and everything to get her back and do things right this time. But now part of me things Can never be the same. She says she was drunk the first time i mistake i keep telling myself i could forgive but consistently sober. I cant help but feel if she thought there was even a chance we would get back toghther she wouldnt have done this. Please help. | after taking a break girlfriend of 2 years had sex with her 2nd person just after 2 months. Do not know whether to take time and move on or possibly try again and fight for her. |
t3_4gkez0 | relationships | Me [29F] with my husband[28M] How do I become a better wife, despite my mental problems? | My husband and I have been married for almost two years, together for almost 5. I was diagnosed just last year with Bi Polar, severe anxiety, bulimia nervousa, and PTSD (due to an assault that happened before we met)
I am going to therapy, but it's a long and difficult process. Lately, things have been really difficult for us. We've been under a lot of stress due buying a house. I've been doing exposure therapy with my therapist and it's been exceedingly difficult to cope, so last Thursday I attempted to take my own life. I was talking to a friend at the time and luckily she called 911 for me.
Most of the time I feel like a child, like my husband is only there to take care of me, like an orderly or something. I'm worried because of my myriad of mental problems he seems me more as a burden rather than a partner. He had told me that he purposely keeps things from me so it doesn't stress me out or set me off. I'm worried about the stress he is under and the fact that I am not capable of sharing the burden without spiraling out of control.
My husband has been my rock though everything, I just wish there was some way I could repay him or do something nice for him. He's been there for me through every PTSD nightmare, every manic episode, every depressive mode, and through all my binges and purges. He's never lost his temper or told me he wishes he never met me, even though a lot of the times I think he deserves someone better.
I guess my questions is, how can I be a better wife? I would like to do something nice for him, to make him less stressed and to know how much I love him. Any ideas? Sorry if I wasn't clear on some things, I'm recovering from sickness and on meds so it's all a little jumbled. | Have a bunch of mental problems, want to do something nice to show my husband how much I appreciate him for being there. |
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