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t3_19xdy9 | personalfinance | Should I follow up on an unresolved BS collection dispute? Details inside. | I received a "Notice of Collection Placement" letter for almost $1K from EOS CCA representing Verizon. I never received a bill from Verizon, I have no record of the account number, and called Verizon and they have no record of the account in question either. It's worth mentioning that I _have_ had accounts with Verizon internet, but have never been delinquent on my payments with them.
So I admit that now almost a year has passed since I received that letter and spoke to a Verizon rep. I don't think I ever called EOS CCA, but it occurs to me now that I should have. I haven't heard anything from them since that one initial letter. My question is, is there any danger in calling this EOS CCA to confirm that the issue has been resolved, or is there a possibility that my communication with them is going to trigger something in that system that ruins my credit score and causes them to start harassing me? | 1 year ago collection agency demands $ for nonexistent account. haven't heard from them since. credit report OK. Ignore or Pursue? |
t3_2ubb4o | relationships | Me [28M] with [22F] been dating for 4 months and it just ended up in a weird way. | We've been dating for 4 months, she goes to university and works around 20h a week... and she's always been uber busy like it was hard to make any plans because unexpected things were popping up every single time. Wednesday, I sent her a long message explaining that I would like to see her more and have more "quality time" because I miss her.
After this message, I tried to call her because she was not answering (her classmates were celebrating her birthday) and she texted me that she was sleeping. I trust her 7/10 so I don't think she cheated with anyone.
Yesterday, she allowed me some time so we can discuss about my message and she apologized and said that she would like to give me more time but that right now: her life is a big mess, she's really stressed and that she loves me and didn't want to lose me for this but it have to happen.
Then, we kissed and hugged for a while and I left because she had to return to work.
I must admit to you guys that right now, I'm fucking flabbergasted by the situation. I felt in love with someone that can't make me time, she admitted that she loves me and would like to develop something with me.
What am I supposed to think about all this situation ? My brain can't process all the emotions I have right now: I'm confused, I'm in love with someone that I can't see due to the fact that she's unavailable...
I need help please, I don't know how I can "turn the page" on this thing. | Dated a girl for 4 months, she told me that we need to end it because she's unavailable and feels bad for me to keep me on the hook but she could see a future with me. |
t3_2nn7p4 | relationships | 17m with a very dependent relationship | So, I'm dating this girl who's pretty awesome, and we've been together for a year and a couple months. I have a job, minimum wage, and I pretty much buy her everything. Food, cigarettes (inb4 smokings bad) groceries, etc. I have no problem with buying her shit. Her mother, however, is where issues arise. She has no Job and can't provide for her children. She lost her kids to protective services many times, and tonight after we got home she wants me to run down to the store for her to get some things. No problem, right? Well, she also has no money. Additional info: gf has a very low paying job, mother has no job and isn't looking
How can I get her (girlfriend) out of this situation? | Girlfriends mom cant afford household needs, has no money and I'm constantly buying them food. I'm 17. |
t3_fr7e2 | AskReddit | Should I ask my landlord for a larger reimbursement? | I moved into my apartment about 10 days ago. 3 days in my furnace broke, I posted on reddit to try and diagnose it. redd.it/fm8s3 . I called him the very next day and told him. 1 set of workers said they were unable to fix it and it had to be replaced. It took them 2 days to come to this conclusion. My landlord had a second set from a different company come in the next day. They did the exact same things as the first group and came to the conclusion that it had to be replaced. The installed the new one on Monday, but couldn't finish the job because the home owner's association had to vote on the modification. The replied on tuesday and today wednesday the fixes were finally made and I have a working furnace. So for 7 days I have had no heat or not hot water with and outside temperature of 0-15 F. Yesterday he gave me a space heater to keep warm, mind you this is 6 days into this crap. My fiancee had to take time off work to let the plumbers in and I tried to work from home when I could. In total she lost around $100 in pay from staying home, her job does not offer personal time.So he offered to knock $100 bucks off my next months rent. Is this enough? | Furnace broke. Took 1 week to fix. Landlord offered $100 in compensation. Fiancée lost $100 from taking time off work. |
t3_26l1i0 | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] have been dating for a year and a half, I don't know what to do in this situation | As said before, my boyfriend [18] and I [18] have been dating for a year and a half. We are both party of a singing group at our school, which we have many gigs for. Today, Memorial Day, our group (20 of us), went to sing at the different memorial services in our area. The last place we went to fed us lunch, and around six of us were sitting at one table talking about psychology class. My boyfriend inappropriately brought up me self-diagnosing myself with OCD, which he promised he would never tell anyone (only two other people besides family knew). I had an anxiety attack in front of everyone. It's a very sensitive subject for me. I don't know what to do. I'm lost and feel betrayed. I haven't spoken to him much since and he doesn't seem bothered at all by it, or care about how what he did hurt me. | My SO told a large group of people a secret of mine that only a few people know. I had a large anxiety attack in front of everyone. He seems unaffected by the situation, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_s9ivi | AskReddit | Reddit, help me figure out WTF is in this cooler | [The WTF Cooler](
So here's the story. The wife and I and a small group of friends were at a local pub/bar to see a band. Now this isn't just any shithole establishment, it's large and popular with a very diverse age group.
In walks a group of persons in about the mid 30's all Caucasian and one man of Asian descent that was much older. He also didn't seem to say much and gave me the impression he felt he was outta place. So naturally that swayed me to think he was a traveler maybe on business and the others were either some part of this business or just there to help entertain.
The one gentlemen casually dressed in a t-shirt and jeans wearing a baseball type cap (seen in pic) seemed to be the *keeper of the cooler*. So one of my brave intoxicated friends decided to ask whats in the cooler. It was loud and I didn't hear much of what he (and a few others at their table other than the Asian man) said other than *"I like to bring my own beer"*. Of course this was BS since not only was he ordering beers from the waitstaff but he never opened it and you cannot do that. It just sat there, perturbing me with confusion. So I sneakily snapped this photo (catching a glare then a smile from him). Later I saw his waitress ask him the same thing. He explained quite a bit (again, couldn't hear a word) while gesturing to everyone at his table. Then she left in content.
We do have a conceal and carry law that pasted here in Wisconsin, but there are very strict laws against bringing guns into a drinking establishment. | Group of 6 walk in and drink/eat at a bar and one has his own cooler that he never opened and was very secretive about it. |
t3_3v3lbv | relationships | Bridesmaid issues with my friend (31F) and myself (24F) | Forgive me if this all seems vapid, but here goes: so I'm getting married in about 80 days give or take and have six bridesmaids, 5 of which are bubbly and very interested in meeting each other if they haven't already, are sharing dress ideas, and just are generally supportive and bubbly about it- it's awesome! It's am exciting time and having them around to share in it is amazing. But there's one that just seems to be different. I'll call her Abby. Abby is a somewhat recent divorcee and has used our time one on one together when we visit to question me about if this is the decision I want to make, etc. I understand she's been there, done that and respect her cautionary advice, but after a point it feels disparaging. I've been communicating en masse with the ladies about dresses and hair and whatever girly stuff we have to do and she's been silent aside from messaging me once at 4 in the morning asking if I'm awake. I messaged her back days ago and got nothing. She hasn't been participating in group conversations on the Internet (which is a must as we are all spread out) and generally just doesn't feel like she's going to mesh. For background she does have major depression and tends to disappear and opt out of things, which I understand and respect, but it's beginning to weigh me down and question if she wants to be there at all or if I want her in the party. I love her to death but her cynicism and lack of involvement makes me feel like I'm barking up the wrong tree. My matron of honor suggested I just say something along the lines of giving her the option to come as a bridesmaid or audience or not but I feel like it's going to blow up and be emotional and awful. I'm not trying to kick her out but I do want to be supported and surrounded by people as enthusiastic as myself about the day! | bridesmaid not involved and has been cynical/absent, not sure I want her in the party but not sure how to bring it up delicately or if I'm just assumming things. |
t3_22b8zk | relationships | Me [Late 20's], my siblings [30s], low self esteem and goals. | I posted the other day about feeling like the loser sister between myself, my sister, and my brother. Not a lot of people commented, but I deleted it because I was worried they'd see something in it and recognise me. (I'm a chicken shit.)
Long story short, my siblings were awesome in high school, continued to be awesome. I was not awesome in high school, continued to not be awesome in adult life.
This is a little bit of an update, and a little bit of a request for guidance.
First off, I listened to the advice written, and I talked to my siblings about my feelings. My sister gave me an "are you insane" look, and told me that she always envied me growing up because I was such a mellow child and have what she described as "the best sense of humour ever".
My brother sighed, gave me one of those hard stares, and told me that I was comparing apples and oranges. He said that I should only compete against myself, because I have no idea what's going on in the background of everyone else's lives. He added if I wasn't happy, then I needed to change whatever wasn't working. (We talked for a long time, but that's the brief of it.)
So here I am. With goals. I want to keep them pretty private because I'm scared of failing, but I wanted to ask the sub for some guidance in getting under way.
Any advice on how to begin working on the hardest relationship I've ever had? I've always treated myself like an annoying person that won't go away. How do I start to love and take care of myself so that I can be the best I can be? | Talked to siblings about feeling like a loser. They both said I wasn't, and told me if I wasn't happy I needed to change stuff. I don't even like myself, how can I change? |
t3_msdww | dogs | New puppy... bathroom problems | So we have a 6 month old male Westie. Yesterday we picked up an 11 week old female (also westie). She had a hard time adjusting, but after a few hours is now more comfortable inside and outside the house. According to the people we got her from, all the puppies never had any accidents because they were always with their parents and spend their time outside, so they've never actually been inside a house.
The new puppy is great, she really is. Pees and poops outside. The only problem, she'll pee in the grass, but she runs under the pool deck (it's an above-ground, gated, don't worry!) to poo :( And while this isn't a HUGE problem, it's definitely irritating since we have to wash it down (it's concrete) and it's a smallish space under there. I'm wondering what we can do to get her to go on the grass.
Any help is appreciated!! | New puppy, adjusting fairly well, except she wont poop in the grass, she runs under the pool deck to do so. How do we get her to go on the grass? |
t3_3e219m | tifu | TIFU by getting kinky with a moth | This morning like every morning I got out of bed stumbled down to my bathroom and undressed in preparation for a shower.
Now, I have one of those enclosed cubicle showers and when I opened the door I noticed a small moth in the corner of the shower.
"Fuck," I thought to myself. "Here's another bloody thing I have to deal with, I don't want a fucking moth flying all around the place while I'm trying to shower."
So I turned on the shower a little bit to encourage my little friend to vacate the premises, of course it starts freaking out and flying all over the place just as I knew it would. However it finally finds the open door, comes racing out, hooks around and crashes smack-bang into my crotch, where it became entangled in my pubic hair. Now, being a single male who never had much luck with the ladies, I've had no incentive to maintain it, so it was tangled up there well and good.
Having a live moth in your pubic hair is not a fun experience so letting out a slew of expletives I attempted to remove the moth with a gentle flick... which caused the moth to explode.
It was awful. It was like a scene from predator; desecrated corpses in a jungle.
Needless to say there was much shampoo and soap used that day. | A moth kamikaze'd into my pubic hair and when I tried to remove it it exploded into little moth pieces |
t3_33fxem | relationships | I (28f) have a really stupid question, but how can you tell if someone is actually in love with you? He (33m) says he is, but I'm not so sure. | Dating 1 year. To avoid a wall of text, I'll just condense it into saying that I often feel like he very much wants a relationship, a life partner, to settle down, to start a family. But I am not sure he's *in love* with ME as much as just wanting a partner to settle down with.
He treats me fine, but there's no romance (for lack of a better word) or just actions that would suggest being in love. It's all terribly practical. He never pampers me or tries to protect me (I'm talking just minor things like calling to make sure I get home ok, or not letting me lift heavy stuff, etc). My dad is very in love with my mom after all these years, and it absolutely shows. Anyone can see it when he looks at her. I don't feel that vibe from my bf at all.
SO, what to do? I do love him. I've asked him a few times and he just says yes, he's in love with me. I'm worried about settling down with someone who thinks of me as a buddy or something more than the woman he's in love with. | how to tell if bf actually is in love with me, or just in love with the idea of being with someone. |
t3_4coqsm | relationships | Am I [18,F] overthinking about this guy [20,M]? | We've met online about 45 days ago and we've talked everyday since then. I've just talked to him on the phone twice because I'm really self conscious about my voice although he says he likes it.
Anyways, about 2 weeks ago I introduced him to another girl online (just as a friend). And they've been talking day/night (like we do) since then. I feel as if I'm slowly being replaced although I have feeling for him and I THINK he has feelings for her.
Even though he explicitly told me "i don't like her gosh". Their convos are saying otherwise.
Anyways, today we were talking and he said "can you call, your voice makes me happy. i appreciate you being there for me all the time - most importantly making me smile" but at the same time he's talking to her and idk what he's been saying to her.
Also, he considers me his "go to bestie" and told me to message him at least once everyday because "he feels the need to talk to me at least once".
I'm so sad because as far as i'm concerned he told me he's not looking for a relationship rn but I feel as if he's catching feelings for her because even his replies are taking longer now and he's always online. | worst part? I did this to myself. what do you guys think? should i let it go because it's killing me knowing he may like her |
t3_eh8zd | AskReddit | Please help me find the best holiday present for my friend! | Ok reddit, I know this is similar to some other recent posts, but i honestly have nowhere else to turn.
I am looking for a poster/painting/image which I am almost certain was called "Blue Stair Maze" or something along those lines. It was a very detailed, vertiable smorgasborg of stairs (all blue) in an Escher-esque setting, i.e. they went sideways, frontways, backways and upsidedownways etc. It was so amazing that one could stare at it for hours and still not have a clue how to travers the epic landscape.
My good friend and I spent an entire year of school looking at this poster on our classroom wall, and now that we are at different schools, I would really like to get him a copy of this poster for the holidays. However, google has failed in every respect, and I cannot seem to locate it anywhere.
Does anyone out there know what I'm talking about? | Trying to find an epic poster of a blue stair maze for a friend. Help me reddit, you're my only hope! |
t3_sueql | AskReddit | Reddit: I got locked out of my apartment today and when they came to unlock the door they saw my roommates dog, we now have to get rid of it. I need help. | Okay so about a month or so ago my roommate picked up a stray dog because well it was cute and alone. We were going to just keep it for a couple of days and then give it to an adoption center or shelter or something but he (and admittedly I) became pretty damn attached to it. We kept him but our apartment doesn't allow pets and we were pretty secretive about when we took him out to go to the bathroom (away from the apartment and all that).
Aaanyway fast forward to today: I was studying super extra hardcore for my final and I left the house in a bit of a rush to make it to my exam on time and in my flurry I left behind my keys. I also left behind my phone, but I did that on purpose so it wouldn't ring during my test because I didn't want to fail on account of my phone ringing. I got home, and nobody was there. I didn't know how long my roommates would take to get back and I had to have them come and unlock the front door so I could get in. They do so, but the dog, as dogs do, ran straight for the door when it opened and he said I have 1 week to get rid of it. I pulled the whole, "I'm just watching it for my girlfriend" excuse (I don't have a girlfriend ladies ;)) but he said then make sure she has it back in 7 days. I still haven't told my roommate about them knowing and I'm not sure how to do it without pissing him off as he's going through a rough patch with his girlfriend (who isn't right for him to begin with but we'll look past that) so I feel like this would just make him hate everything.
What do?
pictures so nobody accuses me of lying about said dog | got locked out of my apartment, guy came to unlock it, saw dog, said i have to get rid of dog, not my dog is roommates, have yet to tell him. |
t3_2yj3td | relationships | Me [24 F] want to tell my abusive-ex [21 M] of 1 year, that he is a piece of shit. | We dated for 2 years. During those two year I didnt realize the relationship was going downhill. I was going through a rough patch in my life. Now I am out of that relationship I clearly saw what was wrong with it:
I wasn't allow to talk to guys. but he was always in my face about how girls are always checking him out. it made me jealous and have jealous issue
he made me feel like the relationship was all my fault. that i wasnt trying enough and that's why i fell out of love.
he insist on having sex without the condom and when i said no. he told me that i dont love or trust him.
because i became depress. my opinion does not matter anymore due to "mentally ill". which means he refuses for me to break up with him. and if i do, he would show up at the door
he tried to rape me three times in one day and try to blame me for it. when i cut him off, he quitted his job and blamed me
right now i have the urge to contact him and tell him how much of piece of shit he is. i want to hurt him. tell him in his face what he did is wrong. yell at him. what should i do? | Realized what a piece of shit my ex was. wants to call him up and yell at him. what should i do? |
t3_vwd65 | relationships | Temporary distance is killing our relationship day by day, i'm not phased by it but she's feeling the strain and seems like giving up. Can i get some advice over here? | As the title says, me and my girlfriend (Both 20) have nearly been together a year and make an absolutely brilliant couple and we love eachother to peices as (We tell eachother daily).
We both met at University and we spend at least 4 days a week together every week for a year whilst at university. But now it is our first summer apart (We both have gone home from university) things are starting to crumble. We made a plan before we left too visit eachother every fortnight for 2/3 days. This worked perfectly for the first month or so until she went away on holiday for 3 weeks. This totally disrupted the cycle and since then due to work obligations and money we havent been able to pick ourselfs back up and see eachother.
It has now been about 5 weeks since she got back and we're both fustrated about not being able too see eachother when we need eachother the most and we are arguing every day over petit things. Now we've just come to a full blown deep discussion about how much we miss eachother but and how she feels so shit about how i cannot see her when shes had a bad day at work and just wants a hug and how she has to spend time round her family who are all couples whilst shes the odd one out.
I explain time and again to her that although we both have no money at all (Students) too see eachother i'd find a way (I really would). She's misserable that she cant see me and recently we just argue. Whereas inside i'm tearing apart over the fact i cant see her but i've been putting on a brave face and getting on with things. I'm seeing her this weekend but tonight shes just come out with all this about her being realistic and how its hard for her and how shit it makes her feel. What should i do or say? I'm going too see her this weekend finally after weeks (Which i honestly beleive will calm everything down for quite a while as i think all we need is to spend a couple of days together after such a long time apart) What do i do guys? :< | Girlfriend and i are living apart for a few months due to the summer away from uni, we cant see eachother weekly and fustration is turning into tension and arguments, how do i fix this? |
t3_2jh5px | relationships | How do I [27F] tell [30M] that I'm not interested in having a date | Let me preface this by saying that I am a total doofus when it comes to human interactions and while the solution for what I am asking is probably obvious for most people, it isn't for me. I'm incredibly socially awkward and I have zero intuition when it comes to interpersonal communication.
So a friend of mine, hereby refered to as Runa has a friend, let's call him Linus. I met Linus a handful of times, usually when Runa had him tagging along. He's a nice enough guy, so I didn't mind. I didn't think much of it when Linus, after I hadn't seen him in months, started contacting me via instant messenger. I thought 'Whatever' and went along with it. For me it was more or less just a means to train my smalltalk skills (and it really was just totally superficial smalltalk). After a month of this he asked me whether we could get a drink together some time. I, not thinking much about it, said okay. Not long after that I talked to Runa who told me that Linus thinks he's having a date with me. I had no idea, I thought this drink thing was just about randomly hanging out (with Runa, on top of that!). To clarify something about me, I've never had a date and I have no interest in having one either, this is a completely new situation to me. So for my obvious question: How exactly do I kindly let him know that I'm not interested in him in that way? Go there anyway or cancel? Just vanish? How do I word this? Should I drag Runa along (known her for over 15 years and she just gets me and could be a translator)? How do I even explain why I misunderstood his intentions in the first place? I don't want to give him any false hopes and it's just really embarassing for me to admit that I had no idea he was trying for a date.
______________ | Guy thinks he has a date with me. I'm clueless when it comes to social interactions, so how do I kindly tell him I'm not interested? |
t3_2jghuo | relationship_advice | I (M/19) think she (F/19) likes me, but it's more complex than that | I've just started college and this girl has been spending a fair bit of time with me. She gave me her number, we've texted etc. She approached me first, something which hasn't happened at all with anyone else at college. We got talking and for some reason I feel relaxed around her. (I started college on anxiety medication, since I've been friendly with her I haven't needed it)
As the weeks have passed by, she's made efforts to talk to me, suggesting we meet to study at least once a week, begged me to sit next to her in class, told her friends about me (who she said wondered where she was going all the time) and taken me to see her flat.
I can't tell if she's just being nice or if she genuinely likes me. But I've been in similar situations before with a girl - she acted exactly the same, but I never made a move. I regret that a lot. I thought she was being kind, perhaps sympathetic and at times I wondered why she would even like me.
Which is kind of why there's a problem here. Do I make a move and risk cutting her off as a friend or do I not make a move and risk losing another great girl to my self doubt?
Well if life were so easy.
She has a boyfriend who she's only ever mentioned once, and she didn't even make a big deal of it. Before anyone says "move on", I would but my options are limited. | Girl shows signs of liking me, but she has a boyfriend. My lack of confidence in this area is sending me mad |
t3_4z65th | relationships | [20M] Having a hard time moving on | My gf [21] of over 4.5 years and I broke up a month ago. She called it off. She felt that we changed and I wasn't putting forth sufficient effort. I don't deny it, but I feel I can improve. We have remained friends and see each other frequently as we go to uni together. She believes that if we are meant to, we will get back together. I'm having a hard time finding closure and moving on, but I don't want to eliminate her from my life. Should I tell her how I feel and/or ask for a second (or possibly third) chance, or will that only worsen things? Additionally, being friends with benefits is most likely off the table on her end. Thanks | Having a hard time moving on from my long term relationship and would like to express my feelings to former gf. Should I rekindle or move on? |
t3_1qj30g | relationships | Me [28M] with my wife [28F] of 6 months (dated for several years before that), how do I let her know I'm afraid she's not physically attracted to me? | I've been with my wife for a total of several years, the last few months of which we've been married. Throughout our relationship I have been the one to initiate virtually all of our sexual endevours.
Up till now, this hasn't weighed on me much - I figured this was commonplace. Recently however, this has started to fester in my brain a bit; I find myself dwelling on the fact that she never been the one to start things physically. I notice also that I'm consistently complimenting her, from small things like how she looks nice in an outfit to silly things like how crazy hot her body is when she showers in the morning. She on the other hand isn't as forward in this regard.
It seems a bit silly to doubt, I know she loves me 100% and wants to be with me, but it still bugs me she doesn't do these things. It makes me think my other 'attributes' (please know I'm not boasting here, but I would generally say I have a lot going for me: smart with a few advanced degrees, very high income for my age, personable, great relationship with her family, etc.) outweigh some lack of physical chemistry/passion on her end. The weird part is I don't lack confidence in this area. I, for better or worse, feel attractive. Its just that I get more validation for it from strangers or girls at work that flirt with me than I do my own wife. How do I express this? Clearly can't say 'why don't you ever just jump my bones, don't you know I'm a catch?' Moreover, I'm worried if deep down she doesn't have the passion for me as I do for her, what happens if she finds it down the line with someone else... | I have no idea how to tell my partner that I can't tell if she's physically attracted to me, and I'm not sure how to tell her I need to be validated in that way. |
t3_1wupfs | relationship_advice | Me [24m] live with my gf and don't want to be with her anymore. How do I handle this? | Hi reddit,
So... My gf has been living with me for 7 months or so, and for the last 4 I have wanted to tell her I don't want to be with her anymore.
I know it's super shitty to stay with her even though I feel this way but she is super attached and I don't want to break her heart.
I got her away from her parents which she loved, because she hated being there, and if I kick her out she would have to go back. I tried breaking up with her once but ended up taking it back because she broke down. Since she still had all her stuff here I agreed to let her stay also.
I just don't know what to do.... I've never let a gf live with me but I don't want to ever let that happen again since this is just so hard and stressful. I feel like a big giant asshole for making her feel like I love her when I don't.
ugh. | GF lives with me, I don't love her anymore. Broke up with her once before but took it back because I didn't want to make her go back home. Don't know what to do :( |
t3_2cp7ec | relationships | My [41F] son [20M] just dropped out of college and is not doing anything with his life. | Two weeks ago my son got kicked out of college after failing his 2nd year. It was not expected at all since students have a second chance most of the time at this university. I should add that like for most universities in my country it was almost free (about 400$ per year).
Anyway, when I heard the news I was pretty shocked and upset because my son has always been a good stutent and I really think he deserves a second chance. I tried to contact the university to see if anything was possible to reverse their decision to not accept my son next year, in vain. My son in the other hand did not react much and just told me that he was very surprised and did not anticipated that outcome at all. He did not talk about it since.
My son is really special, he has absolutely no social life (I think I am the only person he talks to), he never go outside except for school and just sit in front of a computer all day. We argued a lot about his lifestyle in the past and I even suggested therapy several times. I also told him repeatedly that one day he would have to live in the real world but since he was doing well in school and asserted that he was happy I did not force him to change. In hindsight it was definitively a mistake and when he started to become really asocial (at 14 years old or so) I should have done something but now I am afraid it is too late. For example he did not talk to his sister [17F] for the past four years even though they live in the same house.
I dont really know what I should do and I have no idea what he is going to do next year. I am going to talk with him to figure out what he wants to do (either going to a new university or looking for a job) tomorrow.
I guess I just want some advices, opinions or similar experiences about this whole situation, maybe I should suggest therapy again at this point ?
I love my son and it is really sad because he is smart and I feel like he is wasting his life. | My son dropped out of university, he is asocial and does not seem to care much about his life. I am worried about his future and I want to know what I should do. |
t3_15b227 | AskReddit | After being treated terribly in this relationship, womaen of reddit, are there loving, caring, passionate, sane women out there? | I've (25m) just gotten out of a 4 year relationship with a crazy woman (23f). We lived together for the whole relationship and seemed to be 100% compatible. We ranted and raved about how amazing our future was and how in love we were. The first three years were spectacular. At the end of the third year the girlfriend brought up the idea of marriage and at this point, I was excited by the idea and I ended proposing to the girl. This is where everything took a turn for the worst.
Her personality changed. Friends saw it. Family saw it. She became much less outgoing, friendships became strained, and even our relationship became strained. During this period, she cheated on me. I decided to forgive her. She began to have these manic phases in which she shaved her head, got her nose pierced, went skydiving and got a tattoo.. all in a month or two. She fluctuating between being happy and sad. She even left me at one point. I had just gotten home from work and noticed all of her things were gone and found a goodbye note on the door. This was out of nowhere! No warning. Just gone. But she did move back in just a few days later. At the end of this turbulent year, she went on a 5 day stretch in which she'd stay out all night and day and not invite me with her. She did not respect the fact that I became anxious when she did this, especially knowing that she'd cheated on me just 12 months prior. She didn't care. After many dead-end discussions, I decided to end the relationship.
This girl went from being the love of my life to someone I did not even know anymore. She became someone that I could not trust.
This is not meant to be a gender bashing question! Obviously, not every female is like the one I dated. I'm only asking for the female perspective and finding a little humor by asking such a bombastic question. | ! After being treated so terribly, women of reddit, are there loving, caring, passionate, sane women out there? Give me hope! |
t3_2bfyqm | tifu | TIFU By looking at muscular men | So here it goes...
I was helping my grandpa at the bar where he volunteers. While I was helping him I was sending some girl some snaps, and I joke about a hot girl coming in here... As a response she sends a picture of a rather muscular looking topless man. Of course, I wanted to respond by photoshopping my head onto another muscular man as a joke. So, while I'm searching on the computer for a man to photoshop myself onto, my grandpa walks in, stares at my monitor, and quickly runs away... I noped the fuck out of the bar "to take a walk". Later at dinner he asked if I had a girlfriend... So yeah. | Looked at pictures of muscular men, grandpa thinks I'm gay now(Not that there is anything wrong with that, just to clarify) |
t3_vuh6x | running | Looking to start running to improve my cardio for competition. (X-post from r/Fitness). | I'm 15 years old, I have been doing Muay Thai for 3 1/2 years and started weight training the past two years so I'm in pretty decent shape. However, I have exercise induced asthma which has made me hate running do to how much it bothers my asthma. I'm now at the age and skill level however to start doing Muay Thai fights and I'm wanting to start running to get even better cardio. I can currently run about 2 miles on a good day in 16 minutes (a good day for me is one where I don't have an asthma attack) and I'm wondering what tips people would have so I can run a decent distance, hopefully 10 miles, by the end of the year in about 75 minutes. | I'm a 15 yr-old Muay Thai wannabe-fighter who has exercise induced asthma and I want to start running to improve cardio. |
t3_4r0vd4 | relationships | Going on a date with a man 14 years older than me. Advice? | Hi Reddit. I [20F] am going on a date with a man [34M]. I feel confused because I just got out of a long term relationship. I am not looking to pursue another and he knows this. The opportunity presented itself and it was exciting. There are a lot of synchronicities with this man and it is quite freaky to me. But I'm a bit nervous. I haven't been on an "adult" first date ever. My previous relationship started in high school.
We are going to take a walk on the beach. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this without being judged. I don't think he's dangerous or anything but I would still like to be safe. How can I protect myself if something goes wrong? What can I expect from this age difference? Is it even a big deal? | How big a deal is the age difference? How can I protect myself when I have no one to turn to about this? |
t3_2jed76 | running | Has anyone experienced this same pain I used to experience after every time I ran? | I used to run a lot,almost every day but when I completely stopped for an year and started again ever since then right when I started to run more than a quarter of a mile and would stop I would have the sharpest pain in my lower stomach. It felt like severe period cramps. This happened every single time I ran.
There was about two or three times when I would sit and just crouch over and hold my stomach and cry until the pain went away. All the other times I would just crouch over and just breathe until the pain went away. It came to a point where I stopped running completely to avoid the pain.
I did some research (yes I know I should have gone to the doctor if the pain was this severe but being a broke college student with no health insurance I did not.) and thought maybe it was because I wasn't drinking enough water so I would drink tons of water and then when I would run some days it would still hurt and some days it would not. So then I tried to cut out dairy that didn't work and then I tried to cut out junk food and that didn't work either. So I just decided to stop running. This was in April. I would run like once a month after that but very little to avoid the pain that might be coming.
So in the summer I cut out running completely I would bike as my cardio. And now that I am back at school I decided to give running another try.Since running in August until this day today I have not experienced the same pain I did this time last year.
And so my question here is has anyone ever experienced this type of pain I have felt after running?
Another question I have is that I just want some thoughts on what you guys think may be the reason that I used to always have these intense period cramp-like lower abdominal pains after running and now I don't *knocks on wood | has anyone ever consecutively experienced very intense lower abdominal pain after running? if so, did you find out what it was causing this pain? |
t3_3v7u1m | relationships | Me [23M] and my classmate [24F] definitely vibe, but I'm an inch shorter and she's expressed that she wouldn't date someone shorter than her. Any point in trying a friends with benefits? | My classmate and I are both in medical school, and have become relatively close over the past couple of months. She's 3 months out of breaking up with a boyfriend she dated for about a year, and a little less than a month ago I broke up with a girl I had dated for about 7 months. We text daily, with her initiating convo the large majority of the time, and in person I feel there is a solid amount of sexual tension. She's also shared very intimate details about her personal life with me. I'm 5'7, and shes 5'8. I've hooked up with girls in the past that were taller than me, but never dated one. She recently mentioned to me that she had asked a bunch of her close friends if it was shallow to not date someone just because they were shorter than her, and got mixed responses.
I probably would date this girl, but in the past I haven't ever really considered that that far in advance before hooking up with a girl and seeing where it goes from there. We both graduate in the Spring of 2017. She's also told me that she's only ever had sex with one person, her recent boyfriend. She's also mentioned that they ended up breaking up because they realized they would never marry each other so decided whats the point. With all that considered, is it worth pursuing hooking up with this girl? Even if she didn't want to date, I wouldn't mind a friends with benefits situation, especially considering we are both recently out of relationships. But she's never been in a casual hook up situation before, and I'm not sure if shes sees the value in hooking up with someone she wouldn't consider marrying, considering her last relationship. | Is it worth pursuing a friends with benefits situation with a slightly taller girl thats expressed she wouldn't date someone shorter than her? |
t3_2iwajl | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [17 M/F] 2 years, she is getting upset over something that I feel she has no reason to be upset for. | Okay, so I have been with my girlfriend for pretty much 2 years now (I want to round up because I like solid numbers) and this has been bugging me lately.
We don't live near each other but that isn't a problem between us honestly. What we have works and I am happy with it, however, what I am not happy with is how she is getting upset with me about a few things. Let me explain with a scenario that recently happened.
She has been struggling with math homework and is worried she might not graduate due to it so I opted to try and help her out. Mind you, I graduated 2nd in my H.S. and even though math isn't my strong suite, I feel capable in what she was learning (Algebra 2. She, however, does not want help from me because she doesn't want to FaceTime or use Skype because she doesn't like those things. That's fine with me honestly but when it comes to something that is stressing her and causing her worry, why not take an hour or so to let me explain things to you so you can actually understand it?
She counters this by saying she will figure it out on her own which is fine if this wasn't a persistent issue but it is. She struggled with the same material last time and failed her exam miserably. I was getting kind of frustrated with her and I told her that I think her reason for not letting me help her is shitty. This turned into how I think she is a shitty person and that she is stupid even though I tried to make it clear that just because I think something that you do is stupid/shitty does not mean you have those self-defining qualities.
She wasn't having it and isn't talking to me right now. I am getting pretty frustrated cause it feels like there's no winning with her. If I say it in a nice way, she just dodges the subject and if I say it in a mean way she won't talk to me even though I feel as though this wasn't even mean.
Please help? | Girlfriend getting upset cause I said she had a shitty reason for not letting me help her even though she clearly needs it in her subject and I am more than capable of helping her. |
t3_2yriwd | relationships | Me [22F] with my [20M], 3 years. He's vegetarian, but I think he's taking it too far. He won't even use a pan I cooked meat in after I washed it. | He's been vegetarian since birth and I'm not. He complains about the smell if I cook meat in the house. If I use a pan to cook meat, he says that pan is now mine and will refuse to use it. If I'm eating off a plate with a fork, and surfing the web with the other hand, he asks me not to use the laptop while eating meat.
I'm no angel, and neither is he. We have had a fair share of arguments, but do love one another and enjoy each others company. But today I was washing up and he came in, saw me washing up, moved the pan and said "that pan is yours, just reminding you". I said "I'm getting sick of you". He'd literally just walked in the god damn door and it's this shit again. He replied with "a lot of other guys would have left you by now".
Why even bother saying that. I could have used that pan, washed it, and he would never have known and continued to use it. But because I left it on the side, he asked what I had cooked.
Should I even be with someone who says stuff like "other people would have left you by now". He does make me happy though. He must think he is some kind of amazing person for putting up with me and my flaws. I don't think that is the way it's supposed to be. | My SO refuses to share pans if I cook meat, and says things that I would consider hurtful, for no apparent reason |
t3_43wiro | askwomenadvice | Would you give a guy you're interested in, the cold shoulder? | **I'm a male, 19, she is 20.**
I'm asking that, if you're into a guy, would you possibly ignore him, not looking at him, not talking to him, and so on. Unless he directly comes to you?
So you're kinda 'forcing' him to come, but of course, only if he's also interested in you.
I feel like I'm in this exact situation myself. So I want to know if that might be an possibility. If that is in fact. Something girls do, and not just me over-analyzing the situation...
In my case, I have known this girl since we were born. We grew up in the same apartment building, we were great friends as kids on the playground, our families see each other as family although we're not related via blood.
But we kinda grew a part since I went to a private school, in which you sleep in as well (boarding school, I think it's called).
She has no reason to ignore me, the way she does. As far as I know at least, I haven't done anything that might offend her.
And as an extra info for you, she has shown some interest in me a few times before. At weddings for example, she would sometimes come and ask me for a dance. Which is unusual in our culture for a girl to do so..
But when an conversation has started, then we talk like nothings wrong. And she tries to keep the conversation going although I'm socially awkward. I think I have a bit of an anxiety when I'm alone with a woman.
Sorry for the long post, sorry for my bad English. But if you made it this far, thank you very much. I hope everything is written well enough to be understood by you. I hope it makes sense.. | Childhood friends that kinda grew apart, girl ignores me for no reason, unless I start the conversation or speak to her first. Does she do it, because she's interested in me and want more of my attention? |
t3_34w7t9 | relationships | My [21M] psychiatrist[?F] dumped me? | So my therapist dumped me yesterday and I'm still really confused. I started seeing her about a month or so ago after an initial visit, and we just started talking about my core issues.
About a month ago I abruptly left the United States and moved abroad. I sold all my stuff, left my job. I wanted a fresh start. I dumped my GF of a year and a half and left the day after.
I guess my psychiatrist had some sort of issue with what I did? I wanted to get away from everyone here in the US and start over, I also wanted to see what would happen if I abruptly dumped an SO too I guess, but these aren't really the issues. Apparently what I did to my GF and family upset her to this point..
Is there something I should do about my psychiatrist? Do I just find another one? Is there any risk to what I've told her? I've told her some really, really deep things that would readily destroy me professionally and personally if they were linked to my name, so I think it's a fairly big issue...
I tried calling her office and she told her assistant to tell me that she would not take me back as a patient.
If it matters I live in Latvia now.
Thanks. | psychiatrist dumped me over I guess a personal issue she had with me, do I need to worry about anything? Do I just find a new psychiatrist? |
t3_p2kve | AskReddit | Bring out the throwaways, r/AskReddit! What is the most revolting thing that you have ever voluntarily done? (My answer below) | A few months ago, my housemate decided to take a long shower late in the night, exactly when I started feeling a low rumble in my stomach. A few seconds after I started hearing the stream of shower water from the bathroom, I knew I *had* to go right away.
Seconds of waiting felt like hours. I tried *every* trick in the book, including jumping up and down, squatting, sitting down, trying to think of something else, clenching *very, very tightly* all the while. Soon, I started thinking of options. At first, I thought of taking a dump in the bushes outside. I ruled that out quickly as I did not want to be caught and/or charged with indecent exposure or worse. I thought of discreetly shitting my pants and later destroying the evidence, but I knew that this one would be big... far too big to be contained by a measly pair of pants.
I was left with no other choice. I made a little blanket out of paper towels in my room, stood on it, bunched up another wad of paper towels in my hand, and let go in as controlled a fashion as I could. The worst parts were the horrible warmth and softness I could feel on my hands, and the terrible, terrible stench. Thanks to eating a high level of fiber, it wasn't a small one either.
The smell went away quickly enough, but no amount of cleaning and scrubbing could do away with the immense sense of shame. | Housemate started showering exactly when I needed to pinch off a monster loaf. Exhausting all options, I took a giant dump on a stack of paper towels in our house and destroyed the evidence. No one was the wiser. |
t3_38jp0h | relationships | I[17m] found gay porn on my dads[41] computer. | So I my laptop hasn't been working great lately, and I wanted to download some movies to watch, so I got on my dads computer in his office. I never asked for permission because I didn't think it was a big deal. I find the movies and start downloading them and I see that he's downloaded gay porn (I checked, it's legit gay porn) I didn't know what to do and just deletet my torrents and all traces I was ever on his computer.
This happened 2 weeks ago and I've been trying not to think about it at all, but last night I was up really late reading and I can hear someone talking outside my window that faces our backyard. At first I thought it was burglers or something and I freaked out, but when I looked out my window I could see my dad standing in our backyard and talking on the phone. This has happened before and I just assumed it was a buisness call or something (he works with people in different time zones), but I got this bad feeling because of the stuff I found on his computer so I eavesdropped. I wish I hadn't because it was obvious he was talking to someone he's having an affair with. When he hung up he said "I love you too, Michael".
I don't know what to do! I think my dad is having an affair with a man. I thought he and my mom had a happy marriage. Do I tell him I know? Do I tell her? What do I do? | Found gay porn on my dads computer and overheard him telling someone on the phone "I love you too, Micheal". I have no idea what to do. |
t3_1y0vc2 | relationship_advice | [21/f] I'm in love with my professor (42/m) | I think he's an active redditor, so I apologize for vagueness. He's been my professor for a few years now and I've have 5 classes with him in the past. For a long while I was in denial about it. I've talked to him a number of times after class and during his office hours. I suppose this is the part where I have to justify feeling this way about someone so much older than me. I'll start by saying, I have no idea how much money he has and that I'm probably the only girl at my school attracted to him. So it's not either of those reasons.
Whenever we talk we usually end up getting into some personal subjects that have nothing to do with class. We've talked about what we want most out of life, what holds us back, our greatest flaws and the like. We have also, coincidentally, been drawn to travel to the same places, learn similar things and have similar spiritual beliefs. I would love to share what these things are, but they are unique enough, it could give me away. It's not like, "oh we both went to Europe and like photography." Some of the similarities are eerily specific. I'm not trying to say that this is really special or that it's "fate" or anything like that, I just feel very connected to him.
I understand that I'm young and I'll meet more amazing people. I've been trying to move past this for probably a year and half. I've been in a few relationships and gone on dates and nothing has really felt right. I've left the country numerous times for up to half a year and learned so much about myself and how I feel about him is only getting clearer to me. I know this post screams young and naive, which is exactly why he has no clue I feel like this. I know how this looks. | I think my professor is single, hasn't been married before, no kids and has no idea I'm interested. I have kept this to myself for over 2 years. What should I do? |
t3_2bpwmm | relationships | Afraid he doesn't love me [20F] anymore. | i really love my boyfriend. he means the world to me. Last night, we talked about us. I told him that I felt like he didn't love me ( we have been on/off ) He then told me that he didn't know what love was... I told him that love was about caring about the other person, do anything for that person, be there for the person when times are rough. To support every decision. Am I wrong?
he said he does care about me. That he would anything for me? It would break my heart to pieces if he didn't love me anymore. Like what would I do with all of this love that I have towards him? I have changed. I don't want our relationship to be like the one we had before (it was pretty ugly ) | We were together for about a year and a half, broke up 2 years ago. Now we are back with each other. |
t3_x9yod | AskReddit | More for my American Redditors but everyone of course has an opinion: What is your opinion on marijuana and the medical as well as the recreational aspects of it? | I believe it should be legal in all aspects but I also don't believe in any federal prohibition of any substance I put into my own body (coming from somebody who only smokes pot and rarely even drinks). I catch a lot of flak due to my belief on this because I think anybody should be allowed to put anything they wish in their bodies and if a crime is committed while intoxicated, charge them for THAT crime. I guess I put most drugs under the same category as I would put alcohol, if you murder somebody while drunk, I will not charge you for being drunk but for a murder. | I think all substances should be legal (from somebody who only blazes and rarely drinks) and should only be charged for crimes you commit not substance abuse. |
t3_kwh0a | AskReddit | Help! I have a slight student dorm problem... | I am currently living in a shared student apartment. I am one of the three newest who have moved in. On top of that, I am the only girl.
However, The apartment is supposed to hold 5 people. The problem is that we are 6 people living here.
The additional dude (Let's call him K) is totally cool in all ways, but he do not have a contract nor do he, out of what I know, pay any rent, but lives with the two who have lived here longest.
But, the most new guy here (Let's call him S) gets a problem: He just can't have any room in the shared kitchen! There is supposed to be 5 + one really small shared place in the fridge & the freezer, and one is supposed to have one cupboard each (this is specified in the contract). K currently have a place in the freezer and a place in the fridge, leaving S no room what so ever (Whom for now is using the shared space + borrows a bit of mine).
I have no idea why K is here to begin with. He seems to be a really great friend of the two who have lived here longest (let's call them O and J). When I asked where he actually lives, he dodged the question.
I do not want to call the landlord. I wish to solve this a peacefully as possible... I am not sure that S will try to solve this either, he is a kind of a outsider (older than the rest of us, the only one who reads a humanistic pogramme (everybody else here reads a teachnical pogramme), knows nothing about gaming nor computers). The others have not even bothered to learn his name.
Dear reddit, how should I solve this? I am afraid that if S tries to talk to K, it will result in a big fight (both are rather "macho")... | I live in a shared student apartment, and there is somebody who thinks that he lives here and makes life hard for the new tennant. I would like to help the latter, but how? |
t3_3v31od | weddingplanning | Maid of Honor and Money Woes | This weekend a very close friend of mine asked me to be her maid of honor. We've been friends for 18 years. She told me that I didn't need to plan a bachelorette or bridal shower. I would just need to show up in my dress. She is in Seattle, WA and I am in NYC. At first she was thinking of having her wedding in Seattle. Today, however, her venue fell through and she mentioned that she was thinking about doing her wedding in Hawaii or some such place. I was looking up airfare from NYC to Hawaii and it's at least $700. I am working a temp job right now and not making a lot of money. $700 is a lot for me. On top of that I'd have to pay for hotel, my dress, hair and makeup, food, etc.
In response to her saying that she might do a destination wedding and that it would be cheaper, I said that it wouldn't. It would only shift the costs from her and her fiance to the guests. After that she seemed upset and said that it'd probably be best not to discuss the details of the wedding until things were firm.
Was I wrong in saying that a destination wedding would be even more expensive that having one domestically for guests? I know that this day is not about me, but I really do not have extra cash to throw around. Should I step down from the maid of honor role? I don't want to commit such a large amount of cash to an event that lasts one day. Am I the one being unreasonable?
How can I talk to my friend about this? | My friend might plan a destination wedding, which would make it hard for me to afford. Should I step down from the maid of honor role? How can I communicate this to my friend without offending her? |
t3_340ppc | relationships | My girlfriend [17 F], often says that I am [17M] way too good for her and that she doesn't diserve me | I'm with her for 3 months now and we know each other for a year (we started really talking together about 6 months ago) and she often says that I'm way too good for her, I'm too perfect. She also says that I diserve a better girl (and give the name of some of her friends who would diserve me) and that she doesn't understand why i love her...
I tried to explain her during many and many hours but that didn't work... She still doesn't understand... She believes me when I say I love her and she is sure that she loves me but she can't understand why I love her.
I'm afraid she leaves me because of that.
Do you please have some advices so that I can make her understand? | First relationship, we talk a lot together, the communication is great and we spend a lot of time together. Our familes know we're together and she even takes me to her grand-parents |
t3_544xpr | relationships | My [18] mom [51] wants me to enable phone tracking at all times during college. Is it unreasonable to not want to and how do I discuss it with her? | During high school, I had enabled find my iPhone at all times and my mom often tracked me when I was outside the house and would call if I was somewhere she didn't expected me to be. I didn't mind it then, I understood that I was living in her house and still a child.
However, now I feel that it is a bit different given that I am an adult and over a thousand miles away, and feel a bit weird knowing that she would often be quite often looking at where I am and would call if I was somewhere she didn't expect me to be. Am I being unreasonable to say that I don't want to enable phone tracking because I feel uncomfortable with her tracking me at all times? During high school when I said I felt a bit weird with her watching me all the time and I'm not sure how to approach the discussion now. I should mention my parents are paying a large part of my tuition and the phone bill. | mom wants me to enable Find My iPhone in college and I feel uncomfortable with the idea of her watching me all the time like she did in high school. |
t3_1pq69i | relationships | Me [21M] with my gf [17F] of 1 year and a half, broke up, she wants to see me, but I know that won't end well. | I've been unhappy with my ex-gf for a while, so I decided to break up with her. I live 2 hours away, we have been dating long distance (I came home almost every weekend while we were dating).
Anyways, the part I need advice with is that she is saying that she will come to my house (I rent with 4 house-mates) to wait for me to come home. I told her if she showed up here, I will not be home. Short of calling the police, what can I do to keep her away from my house?
If I thought she was capable of talking calmly and leaving when I ask, I would meet and talk to her. Another time we were fighting, she took my car keys so I couldn't leave and she doesn't get out of my car when I ask her to, when we are fighting (At her house). This is why I think meeting with her is a bad idea. | Gf wants to drive 2 hours to get me to stay with her, she said she would wait outside my house. Short of calling the police, how can I keep her away? |
t3_3fvets | relationships | I'm [23F] with my SO [30 M] a few months, is sending incredibly mixed signals after offering to fly me to him. What do I do? | So we met online and have been talking for a few months. We live in two different states. Just hours on the phone or skype. Things have been going really well. We have a lot of open communication about our feelings and everything, and for once everything just felt...right.
Monday his trip to me/work got cancelled, and instead he offered to fly me to where he is. Which I wasn't initially up for, but after thinking about it and discussing it with my best friend (who thank god will actually be in his town at the same time) I decided, it would be this incredible chance to take and I wanted to do it. Later that night when he was re-offering, he said I could have a few days to think about it. Which I responded to "No, if I think about it too much I won't come, the answer is Yes, yes I'll come". Normally this tough guy on the phone, was so genuinely excited and telling me all the great things we can do. It was, really sweet.
Then yesterday, he just disappeared. I didn't hear from all day, I called him around 11 his time to see if he was okay, and it sounded like he was still at work, or the gym. He said he'd call me right back.
Now it's the morning, i've heard nothing. It feels like he regrets asking me, or I did something wrong. Rationally he's probably just busy at work then went to bed. But I just feel really hurt right now. Help me, redditors. | Long-distance SO doesn't talk to me the whole next day after offering to buy a flight for me to his city the previous day. What's going on? |
t3_1srjnx | relationship_advice | What is the smoother and most gentle way to end a relationship. Anything helps | Me (21 m) and my Girlfriend (25 f) have been together for 1 1/2 years. I love her but I've now come to my senses that things aren't going to workout the way they should. On the surface, everything is great but in reality, our lives are on different spectrums. Here is my main concern, she is on some serious anti-depressant medication (I can't remember the name but her life is basically hell with out them) and it's one of the highest dosage that has helped her. Despite the medication helping her, she can still
be a bit psychotic and depressed. She went through a terrible break up when she discovered she was pregnant; the father simply left and said he had a future to fulfill. Her life has dramatically improved over the past two years since we've met. I wanted to be that guy that helped her through all adversity, she doesn't seem to improve and it kinda holds me back. As a mechanical engineer student with a part time job, I don't think I can continue having her in my life. It will be a liberating experience for me but it will be rougher for her since I've provided help emotionally and financially. Also, she doesn't have any friends.. I really want to stay on good terms with her but I'm afraid she'll hate my guts or it'll be nearly impossible for her to have me as a friend.
Like my title, what are some things I can do to ease the pain for her? It's going to hurt me to let her go but we don't seem to make much progress. I can't be trudging my life I'm hopes hers betters.
She will be starting school in the spring for the first time in two years. I'd like to see how things go the next few months but I'm just so uncertain..
Sorry if I wasn't clear enough, I'm at work and on mobile..Just wanted to see if anybody had any advice. | I'm trudging my own life to keep my girlfriend's life focused and stable but I feel like I need to move on. |
t3_2hkbcs | relationships | To those who have successfully gotten back together with an ex: I [28/F] might be (hopefully!) getting back together with my [28/M] person. Advice on next steps? | I broke up with my person after two great months based on an idiotic rash decision on my part. We took a two week break, then I asked him to meet up with me for a drink at which point I copped up to my mistake, expressed guilt over how poorly I handled the situation -- and he seemed to take pretty warmly to this! Which is great because I'm really into him and, especially at this early stage, would love to continue dating to see where things go. He's taking time to think before getting back to me about how we should proceed.
Being the anxiety-ridden person that I am, I'm already looking ahead to the next phase, if all goes well and we give it another go. How did you navigate the fragile early stages of getting back together with an ex? How did you repair trust? What other challenges should I expect to face?
It'd be especially great to hear from people who broke up/reunited during an early phase in their relationship.
Also, any blog posts or articles on this subject would be greatly appreciated! | What can I expect the getting-back-together phase to look like? Advice on how to navigate this somewhat tricky stage? |
t3_34c5nm | tifu | TIFU by stopping a song | This is a bit more tame than most fuck-ups, but I hope it's fine. ^plsdon'tkillme
So, obligatory "this happened three days ago." Anyway, some background first. I was on a DJing site (and a quick explanation of this: don't know what that is, it's a site where you pick songs from YouTube and SoundCloud to play with other people listening, and there's a wait list so people who want to DJ take turns doing so. You can join a community, or create a public community or a private community. This takes place in a private one. Hosts and co-hosts can change the order of the wait list. I'm the host of the community and my friends are co-hosts). So, with that out of the way, on with the story.
I pick a song that I like and wait my turn to play it, but I realize that it has too much time where the song isn't playing, so I stop it. I then move myself back to the top of the wait list so I don't have to wait as much time. My friend then moves me down and says "no, you must wait." I try to explain that I stopped the song so I should take the next turn so I can get even, but he disagrees, saying that I should have let it play. After a few minutes of arguing, he leaves and says "Fine, play what you want. I have to go anyway." Three days, and he hasn't talked to me since. I will update when there's anything notable that happens. | Stopped song on a DJ site, friend disagrees me on if I should get move myself back up on the wait list, friend leaves, hasn't talked to me since. |
t3_12ulap | relationships | First time posting [M22] I am currently just into a month relationship with this my girlfriend [F20] and I feel like I am fault for feeling frustrated with something she does and would like some guidance. | Hey guys,
I am just into a relationship with this girl as the title indicates and while we were getting to know her she was insanely awesome (Still is) and when we started dating it was even more awesome.
That being said, my girlfriend is very complacent about nearly everything. She has stated herself that she doesn't see the point in caring about anything because there is no point. That's always been great with me even though I am somewhat the opposite building my future for law school.
However, today we didn't talk much and I didn't hear much from her. She got off of work and I still hadn't heard from her which was a bit odd. Finally, I fell asleep and stupidly called her when I woke up which was around 2 am. She (understandbly) demanded to know why I was calling her at 2 and then after a few brief words she said bye and we hung up.
I felt hurt since we hadn't spoken and i had no idea how she was doing. That being said I was kind of upset. And i know these are all the wrong feelings to be feeling, Reddit mainly because this isn't my personality. The last long term relationship I had was over a year ago with girls and non serious relationships since then. So if i am wrong how can I change my way of thinking or what can I do in the future to prevent my feelings from potentially turning me into something I am not, an emotional and possibly obsessed boyfriend? | Feeling some things that are potentially toxic and I want to know if i was right in feeling them but if I wasn't, how do I stop? |
t3_418sji | personalfinance | Credit Card Diversity | So I apologize if the title is badly worded or if people think it is misleading (Not on purpose, I just can't think of a better title at the moment).
Anyways, throwaway account obviously. Been on reddit for years and looking through Personal Finance for a while now. 23M BoA CC and it is the only card that I have. Looking to apply for a second credit card.
I have read through all the posts about CC on here already and I'm not really asking which card is best (I have some in mind already).
Thing is, I am currently leaning towards applying for a Chase Slate CC because it gives a FICO score and the $0 annual fee. No rewards though. But would some consider getting the Discover IT CC instead? Since I already have a bank account and CC with BoA, would it be redundant to have another bank account and CC with Chase? Or does it really not matter honestly?
I realize the decision is mine and mine alone, but I don't jump into things without considering all options and getting feedback from as many sources as I can (even with trivial things). | Chase Slate CC or Discover IT CC? Because already have a BoA CC and don't know if having a Chase CC is redundant. Or does it really not matter? |
t3_3urqn0 | relationships | Girlfriend [18 F] of nearly 1.5 years broke up with me [20 M]. I'm struggling to move on. | I'm going to try and keep this short.
My ex broke up with me on the first of this month and we have gone no-contact since about a week after that.
I tend to handle tragedy well; my last breakup didn't affect me very much at all and the same goes for other tragedies like death or bad news, however this recent breakup has been troubling me nonstop since it happened. She broke up with me for valid reasons, but they seem sketchy to me since they are things we had talked about weeks before we broke up and we had agreed on solutions to them.
I feel lost now. We did things together that I don't think I can ever do with another woman. I honestly feel like she was the one, and even though it was a fairly short relationship, we were both certain we would marry after we both finished college. Her decision to break up with me is totally against her character and everything I have come to believe about her since we started dating. I know she wasn't cheating on me because she also had a very difficult time dealing with the breakup, but the fact that she did it at all makes no sense to me.
I guess my question is, should I break no-contact and try to figure things out, or should I just give up on her? I don't want to start the healing process over, but I have a ton of questions that I feel only she can answer and I need closure. | Girlfriend broke up with me out-of-the-blue and I don't know if I can just let her go after a month of trying. |
t3_3ubz0t | relationships | Me [24 F] with my Fiancée [31 M] of 5 years, arguing about money. | So me and my fiancée have been living with each other of 5 years. We both earn the same amount of money (give or take a few £hundred), and we are not bad off.
I have only been in my well paying job for a year, and I have finally managed to save a couple of grand, just in case we need it as an emergency fund. We have plans to put a deposit on a house and get married but haven't started putting money aside yet and I'm keen to get started as I'm sick of paying rent. All our finances are shared but we have separate accounts for credit reasons; he constantly floats around the zero mark and I top up his account when he needs it, because he buys so much unnecessary stuff. That's fine at the moment, but I hope he sorts that out when we do start saving.
I got a decent pay check last month because of bonus and over-time from 70 hour weeks, so the talk turned to holidays. We agreed to go to Florida as we've been twice before and loved it. He always likes to do the research, and I came home last night and the holiday he's chosen will cost us about £6k. My bonus was 1/3 of this and it would wipe out the emergency fund, and then some. I told him that I didn't want to spend that much on a 2 week holiday and he started getting annoyed at me. He started trying to guilt trip me about wanting us to have a crap holiday, and how we can start saving after it. He said that last year. And the year before. I'm not sure how to make him see things my way, or if I'm being stupid about the whole thing and would appreciate your guys view. | I don't want the expensive holiday my fiancée wants, I'd rather save for a house. He's getting annoyed about it, as am I. Not sure how to resolve it. |
t3_51ukwx | relationships | I[28m] asked my potentially future wife[29f] to spend me a picture with no makeup on, she flipped out on me, did I do something wrong? | I am new to this subreddit so please bare with me and writing isn't something I excel with either.
I am an Indian guy, (born in the USA). I have been looking for a spouse to settle down with, so my parents introduced me to a family friend's cousin (talking for 3 months) . She lives 200 miles away, and we have been mainly talking on Face Time, and we also text each other a few times a day.
We have met up with each other twice before and have gone out to dinner once with both of our families and the other time with just me and her. We both enjoy talking to each other and we have very similar goals and ways on how we want to raise our future children.
I guess one of the things that I have noticed is that when we do talk on Facetime or when we have met in person too, she has a good bit of makeup on. And I was really curious to see what she looked like without it. I don't mean to come off as shallow, but for most of the time we are going to be a couple, I will be seeing her without makeup so I didn't see it as an unfair request.
I should add, that since this is Indian arranged marriage dating, when it comes to things like that people are generally upfront. As in her family essentially wanted to see my resume, and wanted to know where I worked etc, so I wasn't lying about my income. So it is a bit more down to the details than regular American dating.
Since, I asked about the makeup thing, she told me she was angry with me. And for the past couple days she hasn't responded really to any of my texts. Was I out of line for this request?
Thanks you all for weighing in on this for me. I greatly appreciate it! | I asked my future wife to send me a picture with no makeup on. She got really angry with me, and stopped talking to me. |
t3_2wklrf | Advice | Expensive car bill, parents fighting | Mom's engine light goes on and the car seems like is shaking, goes back to the dealership and comes back with a $2400 repair bill.
My mom isn't the best driver, but when she said that the light came on suddenly in the morning, not as the result of any other incident, then I believe her.
Problem is that there has been some history of us being somewhat accident prone with cars, and my dad may have hit a wall in terms of his tolerance for it. While frustrating, he does seem to be placing blame on my mother, even though I feel that she doesn't deserve as much ridicule and embarrassment as my dad may be putting on her.
I'm an only child, and sometimes these things may affect me more than some other people, but I'm just feeling a little down right now. | $2K repair bill from something that may not be anyone's fault, Dad understandably pissed but may not be completely founded. |
t3_1kur5j | relationships | Me [22F] and my SO [23M] staying with my mom [54F] for 2 months. It's weird and I feel like I can't do anything right... | So my SO and I moved out of our old places and put everything in storage before we went to Peru for a month, with the understanding that, when we returned, we could stay with my mom for a couple of months until we found a place. I was initially very excited, as I don't get to see my mom very much. I told myself that it was because we're both busy, but the truth is that she's mean to people and critical of me, and it's difficult for me to be around her very much.
The first week was alright. We're staying in a small room that we can't fit most of our stuff in, and had to put some of our stuff on a table in the livingroom. I've tried to do our dishes, keep things as tidy as possible, and make as little an impact as possible. Alas, my mom still finds things to complain about every day. It's never a "this is a problem you need to fix it" type of complain, it's always more of a "ohh, I wish this was different. We'll have to talk about it" but I can tell she's just sitting around finding things to be angry about. It's part of who she is. She can't just be happy with anything, she has to find a flaw. I catch her looking at our stuff with a disappointed look on her face. I can't leave anything out for a minute without feeling like she thinks I'm being a complete slob.
In addition, she's been *extremely* depressed. Since I don't see her much, I don't know how "normal" this is for her, but she just spends days laying in bed, just getting up to use the restroom and maybe eat. I want to ask her about it but I'm nervous about bringing it up. My mother has always been very closed about her emotions.
I don't know how to bring any of this up with her because I'm afraid that it will cause a problem but damn, I'm nervous all the time and whenever she's home and not in her room I feel like she's inspecting to see if we've made a mess. | Feel like an intruder in my mother's home even though she invited us to stay with her. We are doing our best to be of little nuisance, and she's depressed and stays in her room all the time. |
t3_205qdj | relationships | My (20/f) boyfriend (23/m) has been flirting with girls and using a dating app. He's stopped and I am forgiving him, but how can we rebuild trust? | My (20/f) boyfriend (23/m) and I have been together for a bit under a year. I'm going to keep this short.
We have a great relationship. We're very close friends, have good sex, spend a ton of time together and overall are just really happy and in love.
A few weeks ago, I caught him texting inappropriately with his ex girlfriend. Since then he's blocked communication with her entirely. About a week ago, I found out he was texting another girl really frequently. Not anything inappropriate, but texting long messages throughout the day to one another. He deleted her from his phone and no longer talks to her.
I've forgiven him for these things and want to move past them. He swears he's going to do better and I truly believe these types of things are out of character for him and we can be happy. However, I feel myself getting suspicious of him using his phone or talking to girls. Just yesterday he texted a mutual female friend and i felt a pang of jealousy and suspicion even though I KNOW there's nothing going on there.
I do not want to be the type of girlfriend who asks to see her boyfriends phone or text messages or needs his facebook passwords. That whole idea just seems repugnant to me. We both want to move past this, but we don't know what techniques to use to rebuild trust between us and get rid of this suspicion without those drastic measures that I really do not want to explore. | My (20/f) boyfriend (23/m) has been flirty with other girls including his ex. now I'm paranoid and suspicious and want to get over it without having to see his phone or facebook all the time. |
t3_2y3kge | tifu | TIFU by having a cheat day on my diet and then breathing | This happened less than 30 minutes ago.
Today started out as a great day. We have a biggest loser completion at my work and the winner gets about $500 as the prize so I have been working my ass off to lose weight. The people participating weighed in today as a halfway mark and I was ecstatic to see that I was in the lead by a pretty good margin. Seeing as I have completely changed my diet, I decided today would be good timing for a cheat day as a reward for my self restraint. I decided my cheat day would be Asian food.
Dinner came around and I ate way too much steak, fried rice, and sake from a local Hibachi restaurant that I love. On the way home, I can already tell I ate too much but I earned it so I was okay with having an overly full stomach. I pull up to my house, and seconds after walking in I take a deep breath. This is when a mosquito hawk decided to fly right by my mouth and I inhaled it, straight into my lungs. Seconds later, I find myself puking up a mixture of steak, fried rice, and sake into my kitchen sink. I guess that's a way to get rid of half of the calories I just ingested. | Ate way too much food, then accidently inhaled a mosquito hawk which caused a violent puking reaction. |
t3_1e4fxq | relationship_advice | My (20/f) Boyfriend (24/m) is not being supportive enough. HELP! | We've been together for 2 years and I have no intention on breaking this off but I could really do with some advice reddit. We live apart during the term time but talk every day. As you know its currently finals season so I'm in quite a bad place right now due to the commitments coming with that. I've also found out over the past couple of days that my gran has been admitted to the ICU, although I am not especially close to her I am increasingly worried that my mom is not getting enough support with this while I'm away. My boyfriend has always had quite a blunt matter-of-fact way of speaking and has never been a very good phone person but after explaining the situation to him last night I was left in tears with the just how little consideration and sympathy he had with the conversation. I'm quite worried that I'm putting too much on him at the moment (as he is just as stressed with losing this job and car) but I could really do with some moral support and love right now which I don't feel like I'm getting. I love him to bits and was very supporting when he lost his job (although I was with him rather than at school at the time) but he keeps asking me 'well what do you want me to say' and 'theres not much I can do over the phone'. I don't know if i'm expecting too much from him reddit but when he asks 'I don't know what you want me to say' it just feels like he should just..... know.... you know. I'm sure this makes im sound like a horrible un-supportive person but in all other aspect (and in person rather than over the phone) he is great. I'm just wondering if there is anythign that I can say to make him understand how hurtful it is to me. thanks
Sorry this is written so badly I'm still at work. Thanks. | What do I do when my boyfriend dosen't provide enough emotional support and just asks 'well what do you want me to say'? |
t3_2x53xz | relationships | [Update] I'm (f/21) being pressured into a relationship with a man (m/33) by my parents and the entire town. | OP:
So this is my update. I just decided to end it. I called Mike and as nicely as I could told him that I am not relationship material and that because of that I didn't deserve him. I told him he deserves someone who can give him whatever he wants, when he wants it.
He didn't seem to care too much. Maybe a bit disappointed but he was like "OK, well, it's been fun".
The town over last few days hasn't been *too* bad. My mother just shook her head and told me I was silly. My sister is still mad at me because of what I said to him but she likes the fact that I took her advice. I've gotten a few kinda mean comments but only from people I don't like anyway. Neutral people are just gossiping about it.
The day after we broke up Mike went on a date with another girl. She is very, very pretty, but shorter, curvier, bigger breasts whereas I have the model body. Not quite as pretty as me, but I am experiencing some jealously. She is getting special treatment already. She seems to adore him though so good for Mike I guess. | It wasn't a big deal. Mike didn't care too much, the town didn't care too much, my parents just shook their heads. Mike got a rebound. I'm jealous but it's temporary. Everything is cool |
t3_3vvhy1 | relationships | We (me 17f, him 18m) had a great hookup at a party and I'm wondering if he'd want to do it again sober? | I'm a senior in high school and there was a party last friday where I got blackout drunk and ended up giving head to a guy that I've had a crush on for a while. He wouldn't have sex with me because I was so drunk and I haven't talked to him since but today at school apparently he was telling all of his friends how I give the best head ever and pretty much just talking about our hookup a lot. We were kind of friends ahead of time, but mostly we hung out at parties. Do you think he'd want to again, or was it more of a one time thing? | I hooked up with the guy I'm crushing on at a party and he was bragging to all of his friends about it but hasn't talked to me yet- does he want to do it again? |
t3_15fngj | relationship_advice | [18/m] I've failed to attract any member of the opposite sex, I've never kissed a girl or had a girlfriend. | I've been friend zoned so many times it hurts, I've done the most embarrassing shit of my life and I've not made any progress, I feel like I've taken steps backwards, I tried to get with a girl (currently 19) that I didn't like at all, and now I feel like I love her, we met at the start of this year. I have incredibly strong feeling for her.
I want to lose these feelings, I want to learn how real relationships work, I want to know how the fuck I am supposed to talk to a girl, how I am supposed to initiate an intimate relationship and how to be a normal person. Please help me, I feel like I've screwed my life up, I've spent the last two years trying to learn, I tried stuff from /r/seduction and it's ruined my life, it's ruined who I am.
I'm a fairly confident person, I can approach a girl and talk to her, that's not the issue, it's actually doing something about it when I start to feel like I might like her that I have an issue with, I'm secretly terrified of doing anything in case I get rejected, I have no idea how I would keep a relationship going once it's started. Help! | I feel like I screwed up my life learning "seduction techniques" how do I start and hold a genuine relationship? |
t3_1t2965 | relationships | I still haven't received my stuff back from my ex (me 26F, ex 27m, 3.5 yrs) | My ex and I have been broken up for a month. He dumped me by saying he doesn't love me anymore. We tried to work on it for 3 weeks but then he said he feels the same way. I gave everything to that relationship and I was a great girlfriend so when he said he didn't love me I knew I gave it my best and I am able to move on knowing that. Anyway, I stopped communication with him immediately. I have no desire to reconcile with him considering this is the 2nd time he's done this to me. I am happy and the last thing I want to do is to speak with him to set back my progress in moving on. I sent him back his things immediately but he has still not sent mine. He knows my address because prior to breaking up I sent him an email with it. I don't want to speak with him and we live in different cities. He has tried contacting me but I have never responded. I am not sure what the best way to get my things back is. Should I ask his sister, ask my best friend who lives in the same city as him, have my Mom call? I would rather not get anyone involved but at the same time I prefer to avoid having to contact him ever again. | Cut off communication w/ ex when he dumped me but he still hasn't sent back my stuff even though I sent his. |
t3_19przg | relationships | Broke up with GF [F23] of 6 months because I [M33] was moving cross country; Met someone but Ex already had made plans to visit. Advice to tell both? | Resubmitting because the last time I tried the bot caught it and this got buried. Also, throw away, because I don't feel like attaching my other username to it and putting our laundry out there.
To make things clear I broke up with her before I left, but I made it clear that once I was gone we were done. And she knew for months that I was leaving, but she still fell hard and told me she loved me. I care deeply for the girl but did not reciprocate because I knew I was leaving. She took it decently well, and we spent our last bit of time together having fun and enjoying each others company. She did however keep dropping hints about moving where I did because she "always wanted to live there" but not specifically for me and I would be a bonus for moving. She began looking for jobs and making plans to move. Even before I completed my cross country drive she called to tell me she had booked a flight out to visit. This was without me inviting her. But I thought what the hell, maybe I can attempt once again to lay some boundaries down face to face when she is here.
We kept up talking and she got mad on a couple of occasions for not talking to her everyday. I made it clear that our relationship wasn't the same and that keeping that up wasn't the healthiest of things. Prior to me leaving and after as well she kept dropping hints that I wasn't allowed to date anyone else, I laughed it off.
However, I did meet someone. She's my age, I'm interested in her as she is interested in me and I want to be totally honest with her. I did tell her that I left a relationship because of my relocation. I did not tell the new girl that my ex was planning on coming out for a visit. How can I tell the new girl that this visit wasn't my idea but I am kind of stuck, the trip is booked. I don't want anything to happen when the ex comes because I am over her. How do I also let the ex know that coming out is putting me in a bad spot with this new relationship? | Broke up with EX because of move. Ex plans surprise visit. In the meantime, met new girl. How do I be honest with both without ruining a friendship and possible emerging relationship? |
t3_twt4e | relationship_advice | My boyfriend assaulted me. What do I do now? | This just happened and I'm in a state of embarrassment and shock right now. I have been dating him for almost 2 years now and would consider the relationship to be very serious. I love him he's very sweet at times, but does have issues with anger and communication of which I considered manageable. But now I don't know what to do.
Earlier we had gotten in an argument (which under comparison was meaningless and stupid), which had to be put aside because we were heading to his families barbeque. His grandmother, aunts and uncles were there and all his cousins.
Towards the end of the bbq all the cousins including him and I went into the basement for a innocent game of Uno. There he made one of his younger cousins; let's name her Natasha (9 years old), cry because how he was accusing her of cheating. So Natasha's older brother, Jayson (18) was sticking up for her. It got heated and my boyfriend (23) and Jayson started fighting. I figured I would let them figure it out until a heard the door break. Head over there and Natasha is crying, Jayson is yelling at my bf who was still getting in Jayson's face.
Apparently my bf was choking Jayson. They were separated by Jayson and Natasha's mother. When I tried talking to my bf he was yelling at me. Telling me it's none of my business, while I was telling him to let it go and not go after Jayson while he was being pulled away by his mom.
I admit I was using force to try and stop him, when he pushed me against the wall, in front of the rest of the cousins.
I'm embarrassed. I left with Natasha and Jayson and their mom soon after, leaving my bf there.
He then messages me this: I'm assuming the last message was for the wrong conversation. I havent replied to returned his call yet. | boyfriend got in fight with his cousin, I tried to help. He pushed me in front of his family. What do I do now? |
t3_qhen1 | relationships | I've been abused after 5 years. What do I do? | *BACKGROUND INFO* I have a rough past. Sexual abuse growing up, emancipation, and then a long string of relationships each, but one, ending because of sexual abuse.
I have now been with my current boyfriend for 5 years, we are each 25 years old, and have been living together for 3 years. We moved across the country to be together. The relationship has been a dream come true - he is smart, kind and respectful. However, for the last year he has been an utter dead beat.
He has been unemployed for a year now (hasn't submitted a single application) and is now failing the only class he is taking (online class too). I have been paying for everything and it is getting old. I am feeling unappreciated and he knows it. Christmas, anniversary and birthday were all great opportunity to make it up to me and I know he tried, but it just wasn't enough. He's depressed and that makes it worse, but he hasn't sought treatment for that problem either.
Recently we went to visit his family and he took advantage of me. I said no and he kept pushing until eventually I just gave in. I spent all night crying and since then I feel nauseous whenever I spend too much time being close to him. I wake up feeling scared because I am next to him.
Can the relationship be salvaged, or is it just time to walk away? | Deadbeat boyfriend of five years commits a single abusive act out of the blue. Do I try to fix things, or get out while I can? |
t3_2crd98 | pettyrevenge | Scooby snacks | Alright, so I've been addicted to this sub and I've been wanting to get this one off my chest.
So, it's in the late 90's, I'm a kid and I'm bored. My brother just bought 007 Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64. I asked to play with him. He said "no, I just got it!" Alright, whatever. I go play outside. I come back just before dinner and he's still playing. I ask to play "no, go away". Rude as fuck. But, whatever, I'm hungry so I go eat dindin.
Next day, he's playing it again. I ask to play. "no!", he says. So I reply "then when can I play?!" he says, "like after lunch. Go away." Jesus, whatever. I come back after lunch and he doesn't even acknowledge me! This continues for another couple of days.
I finally get fed up and I hid a couple dog treats in his room when everyone was sleeping. One specifically under his pillow. He wakes up the next morning and asks all of us who did it. Nobody knows what he's even talking about.
Throughout the next week, every time I would ask to play and would get shot down, I would break a scooby snack in half and put it somewhere in his room.
Jump ahead one more week and my dad gets pissed that all the dog treats are disappearing. I play innocent and casual. It eventually gets to the point where my dad suspects my brother of taking them. I jump on this theory immediately and accuse my brother of eating them in his sleep.
He. Fucking. Rages.
My dad locks the dog treats up and my brother kept finding all the treats in his room for MONTHS afterwards.
To this day, my entire family still believes my brother slept ate all the scooby snacks. | let me play the Goldeneye with you or I'll convince our entire family that you eat dog treats in your sleep. Fuck you, Michael. |
t3_3uuc8o | relationships | My (f23) husband (27) of 2 years pinches and spanks me when he's angry (at other things than me) | I've noticed that when my husband is angry he will sometimes just scratch my back or firmly dig his nails into my palms. Sometimes he also starts to spank me or asks me if he can spank me. I usually think it's foreplay but after a while he just pushes me off of him and starts doing other things. If I struggle and try to get away he starta ignoring me. If I let him do his thing he usually hugs me or lets me lay on his chest but I can tell he's still angry.
I ask him if he's angry and he says 'yess incredibly'. If I ask him if he wamts to talk he says 'fuck no'. It's usually about work or him not being able to find his phone or something. That's somehow my fault cause I basically always have to clean up after him. He's incredibly disorganized and when he's angry he suddenly feels that is my responsibility.
If he's pissed about work it's also a little bit my fault cause he thinks people suck and 'won't shut up' including me.
I don't think it's a problem for me if he physically wants to take this anger out on me because I'm weird and the thought of getting used that way turns me on a bit. But I am upset that he is just doing all this without my consent. What if I wasn't okay with this?
I am very conflicted because I like it when a guy is harsh like that but my trust feels violated if that makes sense? II guess I've always been a little messed up in the head like this and I've been abused phsically by every guy I ever lived with. I won't go and say I invite abuse but I think my conflictedness about physical discipline makes it that much easier right.
But then it's just pinches and scratches and he stops when I protest too much. He's normally very sweet though and I wouldn't say he is abusive, he's just a very angry person who doesn'tunderstand boundaries. | = conflicted about husband's treatment of me when he's angry. What should I do or think? I am confused. |
t3_w2rmp | AskReddit | Reddit, yesterday my little sister's boyfriend had a serious accident after diving off the dock. She's blaming herself. How can I help? | Here's what happened-
Our family always heads out to the cabin for the 4th of July. My older sister and her husband, my younger sister and her friend and boyfriend, and myself all got there early. My little sister's boyfriend decided to dive off the end of the dock. She told him not to but he did. When he didn't come up after 20 seconds or so, we told her to find him and bring him up. His lips had already started to turn blue and he wasn't responsive. Her little 5'1 110 pounds pulled 6'0 him to shore, where my older sister and I started CPR. The paramedics arrived and airlifted him- he has a broken vertebrae and a pinched nerve. As it stands now, he's paralyzed from the shoulder-area down. Little sister thinks this is her fault- for inviting him, for not doing more to stop him from diving, etc...I just don't know how to comfort her right now. Has anyone been in a similiar situation? What helped, what didn't? | Sister's boyfriend dove off the dock and is currently paralyzed. She blames herself. What do you do to help her? |
t3_3206mz | relationships | I [19 M] really need to fix my trust issues with my Girlfriend [18 F] of 3 months. | I used to be in a bunch of toxic relationships in high school. I had a girl cheat on me, and a girl I used to date broke up with my because I was so possessive and overbearing. And I'm so fucking tired of being that way because it's destroying my relationship that I have right now.
My current relationship has been around for about 3 months, and we have been spending a bunch of time together because we live so close in the dorms that we're currently living in. Her name is Cadence.
Cadence never dated or kissed anyone before me partially due to her moral values and also because of her strict parents. She's always been very popular with a bunch of guys but she's never given any of them a chance except me.
Although I really want this to work, it seems like the trust issues that have arrised from my previous relationships are beginning to surface from the deeper parts of my personality. And even I think that i'm going borderline insane. Let me write some bullet points out for you.
1. I get really scared and upset when she cancels on me last minute. (I know this isn't okay.)
2. I'm really protective about her with other guys. I know for a fact that she gets hit on often so that scares me too. (I know that isn't okay either.)
3. We haven't had sex yet, and whenever I ask or try something intimate, I always feel bad later on because I know she's a bit uncomfortable with anything before 2nd base.
I really want to make this work because she's been very patient with me and both of us have worked and fallen too hard on this relationship for it to fall apart because of my trust issues.
How do I deal with this overbearing and protective feeling I get?
Thank you all so much! | I'm very happy with my Girlfriend right now who gets hit on by a bunch of guys. I have trust issues from previous relationships and I've become overbearing and overprotective because of it. |
t3_3pa6l1 | relationships | My ex [29 M] is still living in my [23 F] apartment on the couch, refuses to leave because he's on the lease | We had been dating for 2.5 years. Back in July, I broke up with him. He moved on to the couch and started paying me rent the next month. I told him that I would prefer he not live here. I was told to be respectful since he was on the lease. We signed the lease in April for 13 months (with only my salary to qualify as he didn't have a steady job and hadn't since before we started dating). All bills are in my name.
Now, about 3 months later, this is getting to be a more difficult living situation for me. I've made it very clear I am unhappy with the arrangement, but he refuses any options to go stay on a friend's couch or at his parents'. Part of that is related to not wanting to ask favors and part of that is needing good internet to do the job he has now (telecommuting). He won't look for an apartment elsewhere either because he "loves this location".
I have never lived with someone else before and, consequently, never needed to deal with this kind of predicament. I'd love any advice on how I might go about removing myself from the lease, moving to a different unit while transferring my utility services and allowing him to initiate his own. | Ex won't leave, so I want advice on how to adult/what steps I need to take to move elsewhere. |
t3_2oaezw | relationships | Me [17M] with my Interest [15 F] Not sure i should start something with her. | Some back story: When i was 15 (can´t quite remember) i danced with this girl, which to me looked pretty and all that. She was 13, even though she looked older. We talked a bit and stuff, in that moment i had to go, for whatever reason. And i could perceive that she really liked me but i had to go. We didn´t mantain any contact.
2 years later i see her again, hasn´t changed too much physically. We talk some more... chat on the phone, and i start to see that she is a beautiful person, not because im kind of attracted to her, but she is really "good hearted" light in spirit, i don´t know how to describe it.
But. she is just too childish, at least for me, too naive. I mean, she is not the problem. It´s just that i don´t know if i should wait for her to grow up (because she will of course) or go looking for other people.
By no means i consider myself mature, or anything like that. I have much yet to learn, however i have learnt a lot and recognized a change in me since earlier this year.
Im confused, some days i feel like i like her, some days i don´t. I feel that if i "skip" her i would miss a treasure of person. | Confused about a girl younger than me, i think she is too naive, not grown up enough for me, but my feelings are blurry and i don´t know what to do. |
t3_49ihrp | relationships | I (27F) got an abortion, today would have been my due date and I am struggling, I feel like my SO (30M) 2 YRS doesn't think it's significant. | Back in August I found out I was pregnant. I was about a month along when me and my SO of 2 years found out.
After lots of discussion we decided on termination. We had discussed for over a month and I was 13 weeks along. (The legal length is 14 weeks and 6 days where I live). I went to the clinic by myself at my own request. It was very traumatic.
My SO definitely had an easier time then me. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. I went through some really tough days/nights after. I got some counseling. But things got better and our relationship has always been really really solid.
Fast forward to today. Today is my due date. I was struggling last night and talking to my SO about it, he just said vague things like: "that can't be easy to deal with" "try to keep your chin up" "things will be ok."
And this morning has been hell for me, I know the termination isn't something he struggles with anymore. But I also don't know how to communicate with him that today is a really hard day of mourning for me. But I myself almost don't know how to mourn for something I never had.
I don't know how to communicate with him that this day is ripping me apart emotionally and that I need more then just "keep your chin up." I am normally great at communication with him, but today I feel lost. And need a boost from my internet friends. | Today is my would be due date if I didn't get an abortion. I feel like my SO doesn't think it's that significant to me. |
t3_wy2ld | AskReddit | What can I do about a for-profit business opening within the animal rescue I work at? (Both are owned by the same person) | Throwaway account...anyway...
The president of the animal rescue I work is wanting to open a grooming salon + boarding facility for the public, with profit from this going to our rescue, I guess as a donation? I don't know. I have so many problems with this. She's wanting to put the salon INSIDE our kennel building, using our largest room for housing adult dogs. The boarding facility will be outside, but we have been told we have to move some outdoor kennels to make room for this building. I find this odd because we have at least 30 acres (that I know of, president is extremely secretive about everything) that could be used...RIGHT?
Basically, I am hoping someone out there can give me some advice here on how legal this is for us, maybe tell me I'm not crazy in thinking this will only hurt my shelter babies, and tell me if they think my job is at stake (i.e. if our whole rescue got shut down over this).
I've heard from a few different people that if we were to open a grooming/boarding business, we would lose our nonprofit status. I have heard through the grapevine the president was told this too but she is still going along with it. I'm just very upset because my shelter dogs are crammed side by side in kennels set up in other rooms of the building, and they're all confused, and I don't want the only no kill rescue around here to disappear because we went the wrong way about getting more money. | Extremely secretive president of an animal rescue wants to open a business with profits going to the rescue. Is this legal? |
t3_2j8iln | personalfinance | Employer check withholding, not enough money for rent...suggestions? | I could use some help Reddit, here's the background. I'm a 3rd year college student who recently moved out of his parents house due to receiving a scholarship on top of other scholarships (getting paid to go to school essentially). What I wasn't told however is the scholarship I received wouldn't go into effect until middle of November when they basically give me a lump sum. I moved out in August and burned through all my savings. Now I'm trying to decide how I'm going to come up with 500 dollars for rent. I also haven't eaten any real food in a week due to my situation because frankly I am literally broke.
So here are my options:
a) Contact my landlord explaining my situation and ask for an extension until middle of November.
b) Credit card cash advance and not pay it off until middle of November. (My 740 credit score would probably tank :/).
c) Ask friends/family for money (I don't think I can bring myself to do this one). | Broke and starving college student can't pay rent until his employer sends him what he is owed. What to do... |
t3_24yv58 | running | Another knee pain thread... | 35 year-old male here: not a marathoner, but not a noob. I'd say I've been doing - on average - about 5 miles a week over the past decade or more.
I switched to minimal running shoes about a year ago with little issue other than some increased soreness that eventually went away. I *thought* my legs and knees were in decent shape...
But about two months ago, as far as I can tell, I damaged my knee while ducking/squatting while walking under a 4' tall (through some native ruins in the southwest). At the time I didn't think much of it - just figured I'd strained myself after a lazy winter. But the pain persisted and is getting to the point of severe annoyance.
Before I set up an appointment, I'd just like to get an opinion on this issue that I can't seem to diagnose on any other forum. Here's the thing: my knee doesn't hurt - at all - while I'm running, or after a minute of walking. But it *kills* me while standing and walking after nearly any amount of time sitting down. If I'm at my desk for over 30 minutes, getting mobile is like the first steps after surgery: serious pain below the kneecap and weakness near the point of giving out. I haven't noticed any pain walking up or down stairs. The pain seems to emanate from almost the circumference of my lower knee, with a concentration below my kneecap, toward my shin. Are the pain diagnoses on most website referring to this type, or the pain felt *while* running? | Having trouble diagnosing knee pain that occurs only after sitting for long periods - absolutely fine while running. Is this normal for runner's knee? (PFPS) |
t3_1wd34a | relationships | Me [25 F] worried that my long term boyfriend[29 M] is abusive | Hey!
I'm a 25 year old girl and I'm having a baby with my 29 year old boyfriend after two years of dating. It was a surprise but I love him and he seemed excited!
After the pregnancy he became much more protective. I spend weekends with him and weekdays at my parents house while I attend college (He works full time). He picked me up from school on yesterday, and took me to his place, promising to take me home in the morning. Today he did not, saying he was sick (he actually is). He refused to take me to class and then said he would take me home before class tomorrow. While he was sleeping I called my mom and got picked up, tried to tell him but he just curtly responded and went back to sleep.
I was scared he would make me miss class again or go back on his promise to take me to school.
I tried to call him later, but he blocked the calls before finally calling me back and demanding what I wanted. I told him that I wanted to make sure he was picking me up from school tomorrow and he said he was too sick. He then asked if that was it and hung up. He seemed enraged and wouldn't pick up when I tried to call back.
I'm not really sure what happens now. Do you know whats going on? Is he being abusive? It seems like he's punishing me for something I did that I don't think is wrong. When he's mad, he usually won't talk about it -- he just sleeps it off. Sometimes he won't back down until I cry but that's pretty rare. Do you have any insight into his behavior? I feel awful, but I'm just not sure what to do. | Boyfriend throws hissy fit that I went home earlier then he wanted, makes an angry phone call and I'm not sure what happens next or if his behavior is abusive or just immature. Can you help me? |
t3_uhqyt | AskReddit | Why do you think young guys wear their pants so low? Immediately, everyone wants to say its because they're idiots, but I'd wager there's more to it than that. | I knew a guy who wore his pants like that, and he was not someone I considered to be very concerned with his image. He said it was just so much more comfortable that way, and he can't figure out how people wear them normally. I tried to wear it low but it didn't work for me.
My theory? Get ready, its a weird one. When people are stressed they take that stress out on certain muscles by flexing it constantly without realizing it. Certain cultures seem to favor stress-muscle-areas more than others. White American culture seems to take everything out on their lower back, pooching their stomachs out and creating an overly alert torso.
These lowered pants belong to a counter culture that, I believe, has complete relaxation of the lower back as one if its principles (though, probably completely unsaid). The stress they feel, I believe, is transferred more to the shoulder/upper torso area. I suspect that the posture formed by this counter reaction to common tense-back posture makes wearing pants like that much more desirable. | Counter culture has created a posture and attitude where wearing pants like that is way more physically comfortable for them. Does anyone else have a theory? |
t3_2o10lv | relationships | Mother is cheating on my dad.. and has been for past 10 yearsMe [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description | Remove ALL BUT ONE:
[No Regrets]: If you don't feel bad First time reddit, please excuse me if I break any formatting rules, I'm not very familiar, I just found out, I'm literally shaking, my heart is about to explode, I can't look through my eyes properly and I'm breathing extremely heavily I would like to star with fact that I'm 20 and since very young age I have suspected that my mother was cheating my father, Though I've decided to turn blind eye to it until evidence slapped me in the face.
She had sex with 21 year old guy(She was 36) when his other lover(not my dad) broke up with her This was about 7 years ago, today she got in touch with that guy and they're "remembered" several "details" about their past.. My father is a great, hard-working man who works day and night to bring food under our family and she cheats on him. However he has a slight "tick" he's a schizophrenic if I tell him what I've just seen he will murder him, he can blank out at any moment and simply murder her...
So telling him is not an option, my mother will NOT stop, I've confronted her based on suspicion but she keeps denying and justifying(She said even if she was cheating it's okay because apparently my dad does not love her) what's the best thing that I can do? Thank you all. | mother has been cheating on dad for at least 10 years in their 23 years of marriage and I recently found out, what can I do? |
t3_1i7fli | relationships | I [29m] am having a hard time with finding other male friends. | I live with my girlfriend [27f] and I'm realizing that after 7 years together we share all the same friends (mostly female). The guys who are in our circle are kinda shitty and I have a hard time hanging out with them. They cancel plans with me unless the girls are there and so on... Not to mention we have almost nothing in common. I feel weird saying it, but I'm having a hard time making friends. I work from home and the things I'm into tend to be kind of geeky. I've found many guys who I meet who are into the same things as me are anti social and couldn't mix with my girl and our other friends.
It feels weird posting this because it sounds silly but I'm starting to get really lonely. Online gaming and virtual friends aren't enough to survive on. | Can't find any male friends who I share interests with and usually hang out with my girlfriend and her friends. How can I meet people with the same geeky interests as me who aren't anti social? |
t3_3465bq | relationships | I want to be a kitty foster mom instead of making human babies | My bf (30m) and I (26f) have been together for five years and have had many discussions about procreating. We both kinda want kids, but are scared of the financial, physical, and emotional burden. I have health issues that would complicate a pregnancy, and I am not sure I am mentally and physically ready to have kids. There is a high chance I would not be able to work during the pregnancy as well. I think he would be fine with never having children, but I think I would feel somethimg lacking. I have a strong maternal instinct.
I have wanted to be a kitty foster mom for a while, but he has made a two cat max rule, and I already brought two cats in the relationship when I moved into his house.
I recently proposed that instead of having children, we foster kittens which would give me little furry babies to love and care for without having to make a lifelong commitment to a human child. I also want to do something good for a cause I care about. The time and money commitment would be less than kids, and the love and fullfilment would still be there.
He shot this idea down. He says I should volunteer at a shelter (but that isnt't the the same). We have a big house, and while the fur is already a problem, I can get our house cleaned more often. He is very stubborn and says he would not have pets at all if not for me. He does actually really like cats too.
How do I present this idea so that he agrees or is at least open to it? This is something I really want to do, and I really do think it will help calm down the baby pains I have been getting more frequently as I get older. I do not understand how more cats are not OK, but supporting a child for next 18 years would be. | My bf and I are thinking of not having kids. I want to foster baby kittens instead, but he says his house has a two cat max rule, and we already have two cats. |
t3_2etbd3 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my GF [17 F] of three years, she says "I'd like your support as a friend" during this semester, and that her dad thinks it's "not a good idea for [her] to be in a romantic relationship at this time". | So a little background- we have been dating since spring in 8th grade, I broke up with her once in fall of 9th grade, got back together after that Christmas, and we were super happy for two years. Every summer she goes back to Turkey for nearly the entire summer to visit her father.
Now, due to university applications, okay grades (B's in honors classes at a prep school) and a relatively low SAT score, she thinks that it will be too much of a distraction for her to be in a romantic relationship (this idea, I think, was put in her head by her father). She also says that she still wants to be together, but we probably won't see each other too often, at least until the early action application deadline. Mostly I was OK with that, because I have Eagle Scout projects, merit badges, fencing training, college applications and schoolwork also to worry about, but the most disconcerting thing is that she now says being physical makes her stressed. I really love her; what can I do to salvage this situation? | Girlfriend wants my support as 'best friend' this semester during college applications, also says being physical makes her stressed. How can I save the relationship? |
t3_39sgiv | relationships | Me [25F], Just fully realized I've lost my sense of identity and need help to figure out how to get it back | Over the last few years, I've made my boyfriend my priority in my life. I have picked up his hobbies and began getting really into the genres of movies he likes. I found that the stuff he likes doing makes me really happy, which isn't really the problem.
The problem I'm having is that I literally work all the time and when I'm not working, I'm spending time doing the things we both like to do (we do things that I like to do too). And we spend most of our free time together. I was talking to my best friend today and she pointed out that I don't talk about anything but me and my boyfriend (or work) and that she doesn't recognize me as an individual, but as a unit with my boyfriend. But he finds plenty to talk about and hanging out with him is refreshing because he doesn't constantly talk about me or the stuff we do together.
I'm not mad at my friend. It just made me think about all the times that I've rejected hanging out with my friends because I'd rather be with him doing things we both like together, since we don't get much bonding time due to work. And it made me realize that I've nearly completely lost my sense of self-identity.
How do I recover my individuality without losing my bonding time with him so that I have more to talk about than work and him? I don't want to go polar opposite and stop spending time with him, but I don't really have that much free time to begin with. How can I deal with this? | Talking to my best friend made me realize I've lost my identity to my relationship. How do I recover it without it affecting my relationship? |
t3_2xao63 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my not-girlfriend [20 F] 18mo, I'm/we are not sure what we're doing. | I've got this wonderful woman in my life. We met our first year of college and have been best friend ever since. Along the way it has been complicated with various things. Right after first meeting we tried dating, we decided it wasn't working for either of us and broke up but remained friends. Over the past 18mo we've become best friends. She went through 2 short relationships with the same guy and broke up twice, this most recent vowing not to go back. I've been her go-to person ever since we broke up. We talk about everything and anything, we have similar interests and enjoy each other's company.
When she broke up with her boyfriend the 2nd and most recent time she had some emotional difficulties that she came to me with. Over the course of a month or so she realized how much I care for her, and has started reciprocating and caring more for me. I've always been looking out for her best interest in everything, I'm not sure why. It's the position I've grown into. Recently we had a few conversations about our relationship and what we want out of it. The conclusion was inconclusive.
We've always been close, and we do lots together. Recently we started non-sexually sleeping together occasionally. That progressed to being more physically intimate in private and then having sex a few times. Now she is comfortable holding my hand in public and kissing me when we part ways.
We have awesome communication and can discuss our relationship openly, but we cant decide what we're doing right now. She mostly refuses to call me her boyfriend, and I don't really want to call her my girlfriend(we mostly joke about it), but from the relationships around me I know we're closer and more communicative than most. She just wants to wait and see what happens, and while I don't mind that I want to know how seriously to take this. | Not sure my relationship status with my best friend and where to go from here. We have great communication, have fun together, and have a very healthy sex life, but are not "in a relationship." |
t3_kvzin | cats | OCD person wanting to get a kitty | So I have a bit of OCD when it comes to cleanliness. I can't stand loose hair. Unfortunately I've heard cats shed, a lot, and the ones that don't aren't cute (no offense to those who have them, they just aren't my kind of cat to be honest). Is there maybe a breed I've missed that sheds minimal to none?
I had a dog for 11 years and it barely shed (Dachshund) but it passed away last week and I'm looking for a new companion and I thought cats would be a good choice. My friend has 3 and I'm always playing with them at her house, I love it, though I enjoy teasing them too (even if they get pissed ^_^). Any advice for me? Dogs aren't a choice anymore because I don't have the time or energy to be constantly taking them out to pee, I like cats because they do their business in their litter box when they need to and are very clean animals (except the shedding part).
Basically my main question is: is there any breed of cat that sheds minimal to none (that isn't hairless)? And if I don't like any of those breeds, is there a way to make a cat shed minimal to none (besides shaving it) maybe like brushing it every morning or something? I wouldn't mind brushing my cat since it's fun and they seem to enjoy it. Thanks in advance for reading! | Is there any breed of cat that sheds minimal to none (that isn't hairless or ugly [no offense])? Is there a way to make a normal cat shed minimal to none (besides shaving it)? |
t3_38y9wl | tifu | TIFU by singing about synchronizing | So unlike my last fuck up and many other fuck ups, this one actually happened today about an hour ago. I'm on the train to work right now as I'm writing this. I guess this is just my fuck up account now.
I work at a foreign language school about an hour and a half away from where I live. Most days my alarms on my phones are set for 5:30 so I can wake up and get ready to catch the 6:10 train. Last night though, I set my alarm for 5 so I could wake up and get breakfast. I usually get about 4-5 hours of sleep but today I got less than 2 because I couldn't fall asleep.
Normally I'm just kinda groggy when I wake up and it takes me a few minutes to clear my head and get ready for work. Today my scumbag brain was super fucking wired and responded to the alarms screaming "Wake up motherfucka! You gotta synchronize like your alarms if you want to wake yourself up!" So the first alarm went off and I jumped and started singing, "You have to synchronize! Sync sync synchronize your singing! Synchronize your sleep!" I was practically yelling and the blinking lights from my phones had my sleep deprived brain had me thinking I was some kind of pop star.
I woke up my younger brother who I share a room with and he was pretty pissed. "Turn it off! What the hell man!" I continued singing. "No can do! You gotta synchronize!" My singing and his yelling went on for another 30 seconds or so before scumbag brain finally made me realize what the fuck I was doing and I turned off my alarms. I felt bad since my brother had gone to sleep even later than I had and was exhausted. I ate breakfast and apologized for my stupidity before leaving for work. | I synchronized my singing spectacularly like I was a song from Steven Universe. Accidentally woke up younger brother with tone deaf nonsensical song at 5AM because of synchronized phone alarms. |
t3_2kksll | relationships | My [25F] BF[35M] of 2 years says "there's something so attractive about a girl who doesn't need to talk about feelings." A.K.A...not me. | Hi reddit!
Been with my BF for about 2 years. We have very different personality styles--I am expressive and chatty, he is quiet and doesn't volunteer a lot of information. He is used to being more guarded, but says he talks to me more than others--meanwhile I am thinking he's the most private, hard-to-read person I've ever been with. But he's a goodhearted guy, a total sweetheart, and our love of the outdoors and of each other brings us together.
I am always trying to tone down my need for feelings-y conversations--which aren't really about "us," but are more talking about stuff that is affecting me, or problems I am trying to solve. I have been having medical problems and I recently had a close family member pass away. I've been more anxious and wishing to both give and get more love/affection the last month or so.
I try to back off, balance between talking and listening so I'm not just venting to him, but it seems like we're stuck: I feel starved for affection or reassurance or really ANYthing empathetic, while he feels like all we ever do is talk about stuff. He said recently that he liked the first year of our relationship better, and that there was something attractive about
the idea of a girl who doesn't need to talk about feelings.
My reaction is....okay, fair point, but that's not me! I could be that person (as it was when we first got together)--it would just be a lighter, superficial relationship. Flirt and f*ck and maybe go hiking. But to me there's no foundation for anything long-term there.
Not sure what to do. Feel like we have tried compromise, I've tried backing off, but when I do we never end up getting to a place of emotional support where I want to go. Am I being too sensitive or asking too much of him?? help. Thanks. | Different communication styles, BF doesn't like feelings-talk. Am I overloading him/asking too much of him? |
t3_340ckc | relationships | Me [27 F] with my BF [30 M] of 7 yrs; he keeps calling me fat | Boyfriend says we cannot move out until I lose weight.
I think I've been depressed since I got pregnant, 6 years ago. And my weight's been getting out of hand. I've totally "let myself go" or whatever. Bad things keep happening, and I'm an emotional eater, so naturally I get fatter. I was about 100 when I got pregnant, now I'm 155ish? And I'm short. That's obese.
Right now, my boyfriend - let's call him Toma - and I live with his parents. The reason isn't really important right now, but we've been here almost 15 months. It's really getting me down and stressing me out. I don't think I need to elaborate on why this situation sucks. I've told Toma this much, and repeatedly, but he keeps saying "diet or we stay here". I've tried telling him that the stress doesn't help, but to no avail. He's fat himself, but whenever I say, "let's lose weight together," he declines, saying "you losing weight will motivate me to lose weight!" Laughable.
This is seriously controlling and abusive, right? Or am I in the wrong here? I'm seriously considering moving out on my own, but I'm also scared of regretting this in the future(in regards to our son). My income is bad, but I could make it on my own I think. Do you guys have any advice for me? | Bf says we cannot move out of his parent's house until I lost weight(at least 30-40 lbs). Is he right? Am I wrong? Should I just leave him? |
t3_2nhgcb | tifu | TIFU by telling some of my friends about a potentially new relationship | So I met this girl earlier, she's really nice, a great baker, has a big heart. I met her in a party and her other friends are hot. She's okay. Yea I know, I am being a major jerk here.
I felt really bad about this. As I get to know her more, I think I kinda have feelings for her, and I feel bad about saying that she's not hot. I might even have used the word "ugly". That was very superficial and dickheaded of me.
I might have told my other high school guy friends about this. The circle is really small, and some of my friends know her friends. One of them told her I've been telling people "a girl fancies me".
She's pissed, she tells me a lot of really deep personal issues, I told her mine too. Now looks like I'm losing a friend. Should have kept my mouth shut. Should have been more grateful. | TIFU by telling my other guy friends a girl I met wasn't that pretty. Word gets out and jumbled up, now this girl I kinda like hates me. |
t3_30t1kp | relationships | My [25M] ex [24F] won't stop contacting me to apologize, I don't know how to make her stop | Using a throwaway for this just in case.
I broke up with my ex just under two years ago. I'll spare most of the details here but it was very messy, she treated me pretty badly and I ended up getting burned.
At the time I was an absolute mess and all of it played with my mind. I was avoiding people, skipping classes and generally making shitty and immature decisions. It was particularly hard because we stayed in contact, a huge mistake on my part. As soon as I cut her off I started to feel better and although it took some time, I eventually got back out there and started living my life properly again. Today I'm totally fine with it all, I've well since moved on and come to terms with everything.
The problem I'm having now is that she keeps trying to contact me, and has since I decided to stop talking to her. I'd block her on anything that she would use to talk with me but she keeps finding new ways (new accounts, other peoples accounts etc). It's fairly infrequent (maybe once every month or two?) and I have only ever replied once (laying it out there that I didn't want anything to do with her rather than just ignoring it, didn't work) but it's gotten to the point where I've had enough.
She keeps saying she needs to apologize to move on and she can't until I let her, she's always mentioning how guilty she feels, and honestly, I don't care. I've moved on from it and her guilt isn't my problem, the last thing I want to do is discuss the past with her.
My friends think I should just let her apologize and be done with the whole situation. I honestly just want nothing to do with any of it and I just want to be left alone. I don't think I'm being harsh by ignoring her, but maybe I'm wrong. That's why I'm here for some advice so any opinions are appreciated. | ex won't stop contacting me to apologize because she feels guilty about how we ended, I don't care and am ignoring her. Am I being harsh? Should I just let her and hope afterwards she leaves me alone? |
t3_3iobtr | tifu | TIFU by using Aloe on my ears | So today I went to the a zoo with family. It has been a hot day there around the 90 degrees Fahrenheit with no cloud cover and I forgot my sunscreen. I felt my ears getting warm so I started using the map the zoo provided as a cover. I later wondered upon some aloe plant. I was very happy at this find because I could use it to soothe the burn. So I tear a piece off and apply the inside of the piece on top of my ears. I then see a larger aloe plant that would work for my neck. So I take of a bit of that as well. When I tore the piece of the second plant I saw water drip from it and for some reason that I got the conviction to try said liquid. Only it wasn't water. It was part water sure, but it came from the plant. It was awful. I immediately spit out the terrible tasting aloe liquid. However that didn't help. It was already reacting in my mouth. I realize that this plant probably didn't want to be eaten so developed this as a repellent. The reaction caused my mouth to feel numb, it wasn't actually numb, it just felt like it was and a gagging sensation. For the next twenty minutes I was spitting like I was a cowboy chewing tobacco in a saloon. Not even drinking water fixed the issue it helped, but the taste was still there. | Getting sunburned, used aloe to help. Tried strange aloe fluid. Fluid caused gagging ;). Lots of spitting. |
t3_3y7wnc | relationships | Me [24F] slept with a guy [26M] twice over 2 years ago and just found out he had a gf at the time...they're still together | I went on two dates (had sex both times and dates were like four days apart) with a guy in early December 2013. They were pretty lovey dovey dates, dinner and drinks and then cuddling and then a lot of sex and then breakfast the next morning and taking his dog to the dog park and then lounging around together until like 4 pm the next day. we planned on a third but kind of faded out, it was a weird time in my life and neither of us tried particularly hard to schedule something either. Well at the time I had requested him on Instagram (I don't have a fb and he was private) after our second date, he never accepted me and eventually must have declined cause it stopped saying "requested" after a couple weeks.
Well I'm a creepy fucker and I still check up on the accts of the guys I've slept with/dated/ever had a crush on when I get bored. I hadn't searched him in AGES but I'm watching a show that reminded me of him and his very specific career field so I just typed in his name and found he's not private anymore. It's obvious from his pics he has a Gf and it's obvious from her page that they were together officially in December 2013 as well and had been for about a year and a half.
Do I let her know or just forget about it since it was so long ago? She is 21 now and they've been together about 3.5 years now according to her last anniversary post. | slept with a guy two years ago, some random bored-at-my-parents house internet stalking revealed he had a girlfriend all along and they are still together |
t3_cl6w7 | self | Apparently having a pit bull is a threat to a communities well being. | A few days ago I was hanging out at my friend Cory's house. He lives in St. Louis, which is a fairly large city, and I live in a city right across the Mississippi River from St. Louis, so I'm not used to a lot of people walking down the street at all hours, but frankly its one of those things i enjoy. Cory and his lady friend have a pet pit bull named Dylan (after Bob Dylan), and we frequently have to take Dylan out of the apartment to go to the bathroom. We had just done this and were sitting on his front steps smoking and holding Dylan on his leash when a man, a woman, and their daughter walk through the apartments parking lot. Dylan did nothing. He looked at them, then quietly picked up his small rubber ball and handed (mouthed?) it to me. Upon seeing Dylan, they freaked out and started yelling at us about being white (this is not intended to be a racial post, but this shit was actually yelled at me) and how white people have trained their dogs to kill black people, and how he has kids and wants us to "stay the fuck away" and we should put Dylan down. I was just shocked at the level of offense they took at my friends owning what i consider to be an oddly WELL mannered dog. /rant | Friend has a dog, we were sitting on some steps, people start yelling at us for being white and having a dog. |
t3_1wi9ty | self | I knew UPS were useless. Not this useless though. | This Monday my friend in New York paid 74.24 USD to UPS to deliver a package (400$ worth of Nexus 5 smartphone) through Next Day Air Saver service from New York to Las Vegas. The reason it was overnight is because the person receiving the package is to leave the country this Saturday and will not be coming back anytime soon.
On Monday morning the driver arrived, picked up the package and said **he would fill out the labels** "at the office" and said he would bring by the tracking number the next day.
Well, Wednesday morning came and there was no sign of the tracking number, nor the package in Las Vegas. She called customer service in order to get a supervisor to track down the tracking number of the package. She was given the tracking number, but that turned out to be pointless, as when she input the tracking number in the website this message appeared: "Scheduled delivery information is not available at this time. Please check back later."
At this point, nobody at UPS knows where the package is. When we call them they tell us to manually submit a form if we want our package **found**, let alone to reach its destination in time. | Paid UPS 75 dollars for overnight shipping of expensive package from NY to LV because it absolutely has to get there in time. Two days later UPS has no idea where package is. |
t3_4qvz38 | loseit | My stats are good, but my weight isn't and I need all the help I can get | Hi loseit! I'm sorry if this is the kind of post you hate to see here, but I really really need some help in order to lose weight. I've been reading the posts here, especially the 'how to get started' wiki, but I still can't wrap my head around everything. So I hope it's ok if I post my issues here and ask for some extra help from you guys.
* I am a 27 year old lady who just moved to Tokyo. I weigh 93kg and my BMI is 30 (I am 167cm tall). According to google, that means that I weigh 205lbs and am 5'6. My cholesterol, blood sugar and everything else I've tested is perfectly fine.
* I do not eat meat in general (I do eat fish, but no other seafood). I also have no clue what to cook for myself, since I've always eaten out back home. I didn't necessarily eat badly, though, since there was a great salad bar by my work that I always had lunch in. But here in Japan it's been very difficult to plan meals or eat anything other than carbs.
* I basically live paycheck to paycheck. Most of my money is used up on groceries and I feel like I don't use it wisely, cause it doesn't feel like I buy much with it. I have no money saved up so I keep thinking that I'll do things next month when my paycheck arrives. But I really do plan on buying a secondhand bike soon.
* I have a yoga mat and internet access at home, so I've been looking around for workout for obese people. I tried a regular workout for beginners and it was too hard on my knees (I tripped on the stairs and hit my knee on the edge a couple of weeks ago). I have plantar fasciitis on both of my feet that got better with rehab but has gone back to being terrible after moving here.
With all that being said, I am not trying to come up with excuses. I really want to be healthy and look good. And I would really appreciate any help.
So, to | can anyone help me out with meal planning and grocery shopping, especially here in Tokyo? And any tips on exercise for someone overweight and with plantar fasciitis would be great. |
t3_hjj4m | AskReddit | Is this still salvageable and, if so, what do? | Ok, after lurking through this subreddit for a while, I realized that my situation is nowhere near as dire as many others. Still, it troubles me and I would like to hear your throughts. I am currently a senior in college. I have completely fucked up my entire time, due to a variety of reasons (financial issues, personal issues, etc) but tbh looking at myself, the biggest reason is probably procrastination. I sign up, excited for the classes, but after a few weeks the feelings taper off. I spend a good chunk of the middle of the semester skipping classes and barely passing, then, realizing how horribly I have been doing, I push for an amazing grade on the final to pull me back up. This has kept me in the 2.5 gpa area through the past few years, but last semester my grades dropped my cumulative to around a 2.0. While not kicked out of school yet, I am on dangerously thin ice. Along with this, a string of financial problems has hit me, leaving me with a job that only brings in about 100 per week, and currently only 67 dollars to my name. On the upside, I managed to pay my tuition outright (worked two jobs the entire time). Now I am coming up on my final year with a few options open. 1)Graduate and attempt to find a job in my field (while not necessarily "in demand" it is a science major, so I should be able to find something) 2)Continue on and double major in a related field, opening up more job opportunities, however forcing me to remain in school and continue living with my parents. The only way I was able to continue in school this far was because my money wasn't tied up paying rent. Unfortunately, this situation has put strain on my relationship, with a girl I have been with for quite a while. 3)Drop out now and start trying to find a full time job. It would give me the funds I needed to move out of the house.
So reddit, your thoughts?
While I don't expect some random people on the internet to provide me with a miracle answer, I feel that perhaps there might be something I may have not seen, or at least it would give me a strangers view on the situation. | I am a stupid and lazy fuck, putting myself in a poor situation, and I would like some feedback on where to go from here. |
t3_hkbhz | AskReddit | How do I search for apartment somewhere far away? | I got offered a job in North Carolina, and I live in PA. Not a big deal, except there are two relocation reimbursement packages. In one package, everything is just covered by the company, but they organize and cover everything.
The other (and seemingly better) option is a lump sum of $5,000. With this money, I could easily drive myself there, move my stuff, and pay a month or three of rent on a nice apartment. My question is...has anyone shopped for a place online and just moved in when you traveled there? I'm worried about getting shady deals on weird apartments without actually being there to see them. | Job offer will give me $5k for moving costs, looking for advice on finding an apartment without actually walking in it. |
t3_2960bl | askwomenadvice | I am worried about my age impacting my job. Help? | I am just about to begin my first professional-ish (full-time) job directly out of undergrad. I'll be a sort of lead position over people who have been in their position for years. I was told in the interview that these people are strong-willed and some times don't take well to people telling them what to do when they have seniority.
I am confident that I can deal with that personality-wise. However, I have a problem, I am a twenty one year old woman that looks like I am maybe 16. 17 sometimes, on a good day.
I've been trying to find good "business casual" clothing that doesn't make me look like a teenager playing dress up, and I always make sure to do my make up and hair which does put me at about 19.
I intend on letting my work and my personality speak for itself, but it would be nice if I could look the part as well, you know? Ladies, can you help me? | I am worried that my baby face will lose me respect in my first ever professional job in which I will be a lead. Help? |
t3_1bdz6n | relationship_advice | 19/F wants to to stop nagging boyfriend, 22 - or rather, wants to fix the situation so that no nagging is required | I'm asking because I genuinely want to fix the problem and make it better for us. It's a minor issue and I'd rather resolve it as is than have it grow into something much worse later on.
I don't ask him to do everything for me, just little things here and there ("please remember to bring me X or Y when you come over, I need it for school" or "call me before I'm done work to confirm plans and so I know whether it's cool to leave or if you're picking me up because we are doing X or Y so I'm not waiting around forever at work for no reason)
and usually because it will affect how my day works from there on out.
I've talked to him about it because he tells me how he doesn't like to be constantly reminded or nagged because it seems like an "annoying parent" thing to do which I totally understand. I don't want to feel like that either. I also don't want to feel like the things I say aren't being brushed off because "lol whatever". I know that he can be pretty forgetful but that's why I remind him in the first place. And we've talked about this and know how the other person feels about it but it usually just comes down to what has been said above.
It's irritating and inconvenient and meow meow meow how fix | How do I get my boyfriend to follow through/remember to do the few things I ask of him, so that I don't have to be a nagging jerk? |
t3_1wlnar | relationships | [21/F] offered to cook me [21/M] something, need some insight | Brief intro, I've always been a shy introverted person so I don't have much experience with this and would like some insight. Basically, I took this activity group where I met a girl. I only chatted with her briefly after the first lesson, but after the second one we had a good 1 hour chat, and she seemed honestly interested in what I was saying (although she did do a lot of the talking, which I prefer but I made sure to contribute as much as I could and attempt to be funny), and she ended up asking me for my phone number and texting that it was nice meeting me and good night. Yesterday I texted her and the topic got to food, and it ended up with her asking if I would like to try something (she's an international student and loves to eat healthy, and offered after I teased her about how unhealthy it is). I also offered something from my culture (and a homemade dessert that she loves, but I didn't mention it).
So great, I'm eating lunch that a very cute girl put time and effort in for me, and it feels awesome. The problem is that last semester something similar happened: girl asks me for number, we hang out a few times, and then she would always be too busy to see me. Another issue is that from talking to this girl shes more outgoing and told me she wants to make friends outside of her culture, so this could be simply part of her personality to be very friendly. Lastly, I don't want to push too hard as things would get awkward for the remainder of the activity group.
So, there's a possibility of interest, but how do I "hint" that I like her and would like to date her, what are some signs I should look for when grabbing lunch with her? | Cute girl is cooking me something, but she's also very friendly and outgoing by nature so I don't know if this is interest, and would like to gauge it without being too obvious such that future activity sessions are not awkward. |
t3_t9th0 | AskReddit | Neighbor keeps calling animal control/services on us. | Today, for the 3rd time in 2 months, animal control has visited our house due to complaints from a neighbor (anonymous neighbor, of course). The officer was very nice, and truly acted like he felt like he was wasting his time this time. The complaint was that we had a dog out back without food or water available, and chained up.
We have a pretty decently sized back yard, the dog has never been chained (we don't even own a chain/rope or binding device - there is no need with the back yard being fenced in), and of course he always has a full water bowl, and food daily. He's only left outside during the day (with a dog house in case it rains while we are at work), and is let in at night. He is a very well treated and loved dog.
We are busy people, and have never met any of our neighbors, minus one whom we are on great terms with. I have no idea why they keep calling animal services on us, for no apparent reason, and am not even sure which neighbor it is. Is there anything I can do? I feel like this is harassment of sorts. I wouldn't think there is a way I can file a reverse complaint, but it sure would be nice! | Anonymous neighbor keeps calling animal service on us with no cause. Animal services have found no issue all three times they have randomly inspected our place/animals. Anything I can do? |
t3_30xzs5 | relationships | Me [26 M] Virgin coming out of almost 14 years of depression, I need to rebuild my life | I'm looking for a place to vent, so here it goes.
After 14 years of depression, I'm recovering. I have no job, no close friends, and live with my parents.
In my early teens my parents, entrepreneurs, had a falling out with their business partner. It led to my dad working incredibly long hours, effectively taking him out of my life. The few friends I had I let drift away.
Through highschool, I didn't exist. Not in the way someone is ignored, but in the way someone just drifts through. I didn't take in the experiences I had. I didn't talk to or hang out with anyone unless I needed to. Now I feel like I lost something. I went to college for a short time then dropped out. The last few years I spent sitting at home, occasionally working odd jobs my parents found for me.
So, a couple of months ago, I found the motivation to get better. It was a stupid crush on a celebrity I saw on the talk show circuit. It was enough for me to want to make my life better.
I've been sorting through my old things. Some things brought back memories. Later today I'm going to try to get in touch with people I haven't spoken to in years. | I was depressed through my teens and early twenties. Because of it, I avoided all personal relationships.. A dumb crush on a celebrity helped give me the motivation to get better. |
t3_3myh1n | tifu | TIFU by swimming | Ok so this happened about 7 years ago, give or take a few.
My family and I decided to take a trip to a hotel in our home town because we had nothing else to do + that hotel had a cool ass waterslide. Since said slide was closed at the time this fuck up happened, I just decided to throw on some heavy duty googles and go diving in the deep end of the water. I was by myself, doing flips and what not, when I flipped a little too much and got dizzy.
Now you see with this particular pool, the bottom and sides seamlessly fit together into a big white stucco blob. As I came out of this last flip, I thought I was going downwards still, when in reality I was headed right for the side (and really gunning it too). I hit the wall so hard that I cracked both the eyes of my goggles inwards, so not only did I give myself a headache and noseache, I also successfully flooded and stung my eyes with satan's unholy piss water. I surfaced immediately after that, feeling stupid and upset that my broke my awesome goggles, but I got over it since only one other random kid saw me.
What I didn't get over is the fact that I smashed my nose *so hard* against that wall, and I'm pretty sure my nose was permanently fucked up that day because it's very sensitive and has had a weird bump on it ever since. | I got dizzy in the pool, thought I was swimming downwards when in reality I was swimming into hell. Also I fucked up the best goggles I've ever owned :( |
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