id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_2mq64k | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex, a few weeks, hanky panky for a month, dating for only a week. Am I more miserable than I should be? I feel silly... | It was my first real relationship, first kiss, etc. Courted her for a few weeks, hanky panky for a few weeks, then only dated for 4 days before she dumped me in hysterics over her ex. I have been losing sleep, having nightmares, and having trouble eating. Does it even make sense to be this upset after being dumped from such a short relationship?
I feel silly, and would love to be told whether or not it seems like I should be so upset. There are a few other factors to consider.
She insisted on staying friends and we have the same friend group so I see her daily, and now she has started bringing a new guy to meals. Is it reasonable for her to bring a new BF around knowing I still have feelings for her? My gut reaction is that its a dick move considering she knows I can't go just hang with different friends... | Short relationship, seems like I am taking it way too hard and I feel silly. Would love either reassurance or just affirmation of my opinion. |
t3_3caqx9 | relationships | Me [22 F] broke up with my now Ex [23 M] of two years, how do I let go of the emotional abuse that occurred? | I am 22 years old and I have been in a relationship with my now-ex for two years. For almost a year and half, I have been plagued with what many would consider emotional abuse. He has horrible anger management and would not spare anyone when he is on a rampage. Not even his mother. I have seen him throw things, tipping over tables and screaming when his mother asked him a question he did not like. He has tried to force me out of his house before because he felt like I was being a bitch because I did not feel like editing his paper while he texted in the other room. If I ever spent time with my friends, he would get extremely pissed and mad if I do not text/call him right away when I am with him, demanding that I answer him or hell will be unleashed.
The topping on the cake is when one day we do not talk as much and he sends me a passive aggressive text saying, "Oh looks like you have an attitude today since you did not bother texting or calling. Thanks a lot." even though I told him that I will be hanging out with family all day. I remind him that texting and calling is a two way street and he could have easily reached out if he wanted to talk to me. He erupts over text message virtually breaking up with me saying, "Good luck finding better. I am done with your sass and attitude. While I am in (insert city here) being successful, you will be crying in (insert city) all alone and pathetic."
Basically I just silently blocked him because I was beyond hurt that anyone who claims to love me would say that. I believe he was surprised that I just did not respond because this week has been nothing but apologies and declaration that he can not live with out me. That I am the best girlfriend ever. That he will change. That he will do anything to fix this. And I told him no. I feel horrible. This is my second relationship and I have never broken up with someone. I feel guilty even through all the things he have done and said to me. Has anyone been through this and how were they able to get through this? | Boyfriend of two years was emotionally abusive, finally cut off the relationship. How do I get through the aftermath of the emotional abuse that has occurred? |
t3_1rpgt5 | relationship_advice | I [22/F] want to still be friends with my recent ex [23/M] but I'm pretty sure he'd set me on fire if given the chance ... long term approach advice? | **I just want to clarify that this post is not about now, or anytime close to now, but for advice to use in the future. I understand that he needs time to sort out, decompress, hate me, heal, etc. And I am not in any way trying to make contact at the moment. Thank you for the concern that I may be throwing out an offer for friendship much too soon (which it is)**
I recently (roughly 4 months ago) broke things off with my partner of a year (and some change). He's absolutely fantastic, an actual good guy, really intelligent and funny- all those things that make someone interesting and a good person. So why did we break up? I think he genuinely loved me and I was sort of forcing myself to feel romantically about him after a certain point earlier on in the relationship. It finally dawned on me what I was doing and that it wasn't fair to him or me. He should be out there finding the woman who's going to love him for the rest of his life, not wasting his time with me. And I needed to stop being with him because I was becoming toxic and resentful after trying to force my feelings to match what my brain wanted.
ANYWAYS. He told me he absolutely never wants to talk to me again. And I really want to be friends still because he's a good guy, we get on well, and *who else is going to play Arkham Horror with me* (this part was a joke)? Honestly, I think we'd make great friends and I do miss talking to him. He's definitely not wanting to be friends at the moment, and I respect him having lots of space, but when it's been longer and the air's cleared - How can I approach him to possibly re-establish a friendship? It was the same day we broke up when he said he never ever wanted to see/talk to me again so I want to respect his feelings but still throw out a line to friendship in the future, just so he knows we have the option to be friends | I broke up with him and he told me he never ever wants to see me again. How can I politely offer him friendship in the future? |
t3_231o1i | relationships | I [19 M] am unhappy in my relationship of 4 years with my girlfriend [20 F] but I really have no reason to be. | I've been with my girlfriend since high school, since I was 15 and since she was 16. We were both each other's first and only significant others (not counting the stupid week long relationships everyone has in 8th grade), and neither of us have had any romantic or sexual experiences with anyone else. She's a beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet girl, and she's really amazing, especially since we got to college (we go to the same school), since she's really come out of her shell.
But lately, like the past 6 months or so, I've started to feel...well, weird. I don't look forward to hanging out with her anymore. Instead of saying to myself "Oh boy, I **get** to go hang out with Sally!" (her name isn't Sally, by the way), I usually say "Well, now I **have** to go hang out with Sally." I usually have a great time once I get there, but I never look forward to it before hand. It doesn't help that she's one of those girls who doesn't like silences much, so will keep talking no matter what, often retelling me the same stories over and over again, usually with an exact script.
And, like I said, we've been together for four, almost five years. At our age, that's literally a quarter of our lives that we've spent with each other. I still think she's a great girl, but part of me says "Hey, maybe your **real** soulmate is out there, and you're just not looking for her!" But I feel like an asshole because she hasn't done anything to make me unhappy.
I don't know. Do you guys think we just need to figure out something to spice things up? I just don't want to hurt her. | Part of me feels unhappy in my four-year-long relationship, but part of me feels like an asshole for feeling that way since she's done nothing to make me unhappy. |
t3_uzcci | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, my coworkers and I started pitching in $10/week each and make our lunches in our office. Can you help us with some meal ideas? | So this started about a month ago. We decided that every Monday we would all contribute $10 and go shopping for lunch ingredients. We brought some stuff from home to help us like a panini press, cutting board, knife, etc. Every week we have some money left over and we're saving up to buy other food prep utensils. So far we've bought a cheese grater/storage combo thing and we're part-way to a replacement panini press or grill of some sort.
One of us dropped out already as he didn't think it "saved that much money." Can you give us some new ideas for easy, cheap, good food that can be made in an office so we don't burn out?
Also, I'm writing this from a group novelty account so my co-workers don't accuse me of karma whoring. | Started communal lunches at work, saving a metric shit-ton of money. Need ideas for lunch so we don't quit. |
t3_4s8zgo | relationships | Me [18 M] with my friend of 4 years [18 F] I developed feelings for her a few months ago and the feelings aren't mutual. Is there any way this can affect my relationship with her? | So basically i developed feelings for a long time friend of mine and she discovered how I felt around April. We basically had the whole talk about how the feelings weren't mutual and i completely understood that it just doesn't work out sometimes. It was a bit awkward for a bit afterwards for obvious reasons but we've since grown to being closer as friends. She is part of a small group of friends that we have had for a few years and they are basically my only friends.
What I am worried about is that it has been a few months and these feelings have not shown any sign of going away and if anything have grown stronger. I'm not sure if there's any way to deal with this or if I just have to wait for time to pass and hope for the best. As I mentioned before we are part of a small group of friends and she is probably one of the people that I am closest to. We are open with each other about a lot of things and usually help each other with issues that we have.
Since this is the case one thing that worries me is that if these feelings continue for a long time it may affect me being able to seek a relationship with someone else. I can be a bit antisocial and it takes some time for me to become comfortable with people and because of this I can sometimes struggle to make friends and I feel like it will make me linger to these feelings I have for her since I am already comfortable with her. Also there is of course the possibility that she begins dating and I feel like the stress of that on me would be tough for me to handle and I wouldn't want that to be a reason to end our friendship. I will probably continue to see her since we are attending the same college and live pretty close to each other. Any advice on how to handle this is appreciated. | Developed feelings for a close friend and the feelings were not mutual. My feelings for her have gotten stronger and I fear that it could lead to issues in our relationship in the long run. |
t3_3frjnn | offmychest | If YOU'RE going to break up with me, YOU get over it | So this isn't a super devastating thing in my life or anything, but I just need to rant.
Note: My ex and I are rising juniors in high school.
About a week and a half ago my girlfriend of two years broke up with me without any warning. She still wants to be friends though, and I'm more than happy to be her friend. It hurt for the first few days, but we both got some space and I got over it. I'll never regret our relationship and I'll always miss it, but I'm over it. She claims she is too.
I still care about her, but I don't want her back. In this past week and a half I've shifted my feelings. Now I think about her in more of a "little sister" way than an ex or an SO. I'm here if she needs a shoulder to cry on and if anyone were to intentionally hurt her I'd fucking kill them, but she's not my priority or the center of my life, and if she told me to get lost I would, whatever.
While we were talking about a week after our breakup, we got to talking about future plans for life, just as making conversation. She and I were fine with discussing being in future romantic relationships with other people; we're not together anymore. Then I mentioned that I wasn't planning on looking for that again for a while and said I was just going to have some short-term, casual relationships.
She was NOT happy about that. Cue mention about how "I'm just not comfortable with that, we just got out of a pretty serious relationship", and then the "I need space" and went back to no contact on Sunday.
So, you're ok with me having a romantic relationship with someone else but not a casual physical one? Hell, unless the reason for that is wanting to be FWB that's tough shit.
I want her to be happy and comfortable if possible, but if she's not my SO and wants to be friends than she needs to not try to dictate who I am and get over it.
I try to help people and keep them happy, but we're not in a relationship anymore: I come first in my life now. | If the other person can get over you breaking up with them before you can, you might have some issues of your own. |
t3_37qkde | relationships | I'm (26 M) interested in a girl (24 F) but don't know if she's in the beginning of relationship with another guy. | I know what most of you are thinking but I and others have asked and she still says she's single. I know she's been going out on a bunch of dates with this one guy but don't know how serious it is. She doesn't talk about him to other guys I know, doesn't post pics of them together on Facebook, and even changed her work out schedule so she and he aren't seen together presumably.
So my question is, is she seeing this other guy and just wants to keep it private and away from other peoples' knowledge or is she just casually dating and keeping her options open? I don't want to step on any toes if I'm not wanted around but I do like this girl. | I like a girl who has been going out with a guy for quite some time but don't know how serious it is to keep talking to her. |
t3_da3q8 | AskReddit | Trying to find a consensus on the use of the word "equity" | My friend and I have a small disagreement about the use of the word "equity."
His opinion of it is that it can be used in place of the word "fairness" or "impartiality" (e.g. To ensure equity, we should put it to a vote).
My opinion is that in equity generally refers to stock ownership and shouldn't really be used to mean anything else in everyday English.
To his credit, the word equity is predominantly defined in terms of "fairness" in the Oxford English dictionary. I'm not sure how to reconcile this with wikipedia or other dictionaries.
Extra props if you have a background in English or something to back your claim. | What's the verdict. Can we use "equity" in place of "fairness?" Or does it refer more to stock ownership? |
t3_efbso | self | So Reddit I have had a piece of a parking lot in my arm for the last 26 years... | True story, I feel in a parking lot when I was three and got a piece of the lot embedded in my arm. The doctor at the emergency room said it would eventually disappear and dissolve naturally.
It's only bothered me a few times since then, once a few years ago when it finally dissolved enough to shrink in size and shift from its original position and now it's done it again. It's very close to the skin now and kind of well... hurts. My boyfriend's mother is a nurse and he wants me to allow her to lop it out. I'm just sort of used to it being there and am sort of hoping that it will just stop annoying me again and go back to just hanging out in my arm not causing problems. | I have had a rock in my arm for 26 years and am sort of sentimental about it even though it's annoying the shit out of me currently. |
t3_3krxo0 | relationships | My [23 M] ex-boyfriend [21 M] of 2 years, went abroad to study and broke it off with me after moving all of his stuff into my new apartment before he left. First love break up, help! | So from the beginning I guess. We have been dating for 2 years and we have lived together for 1. I am a post-grad and he is still a student. In his last year he wanted to go abroad for a semester and I always encouraged it even though I was going to miss him so much. I am a very emotional lover and he is very reserved so I was never able to read him quite well. We did make plans to move back in together when he came back however so we moved all of our stuff into my new place.
Fast forward 6 weeks and he FaceTimes me to tell me he isn't happy and hasn't been for a long time and that he wants to break up. This knocks the wind out of me. If this were true, he must be a sociopath because he made it seem to me on multiple occasions that he was totally in love with me. We had a little spat a week ago where I gave him time to decide whether or not he still wanted to be with me and he answered that he did! I have been the absolute most perfect loving boyfriend to him in the sense that I was always there for him and he was never there for me. For some reason he couldn't break up with me in person so he decided to wait until there was 4000 miles between us to do it.
Everyone has been telling me that there are serious maturity problems coming from his end and what a cowardly move that was. But I still love him and can't bring myself to move any of his stuff because part of me thinks that he will realize that he has made a mistake because he will realize the love I had for him was so important in his life. | My first love dumped me after going abroad and I don't know what to do with his stuff he moved into my apartment before leaving. |
t3_1ifwww | relationships | Says she [26F] has a crush on me [26M], but we've already hooked up. What do you think she means? | Hey guys, so I made out /3rd base with a girl that I met at my best friend's wedding 2 months ago. She happens to be moving to the same city as me in a few months and I've booked a ticket to go see her in a couple of weeks and we've been talking a lot via text/calls. She tells me she has a "huge crush on me." But, I am a bit confused because I feel like you can't really have a crush on someone once you've already made out with them and stuff. Think she's just trying to say that she really likes me? | Made out/etc... with a girl I met a my friend's wedding and she says she has a crush on me. Not exactly sure what it means. |
t3_1qm1nm | relationships | My GF[23F] broke up with me [22 M] and I am still having trouble getting over it. | We didn't date very long but a lot happened in just a few months. Going into the relationship both of us felt a connection. She was new to the area and didn't have any friends so she dove into the relationship head first. I was kind of freaked out by that considering she had gotten out of a bad relationship a few months before.
After about 2 months she told me she was in love with me. I was still kind of freaked out and couldn't say it back but I wanted her to know I would get there. She stuck around but was afraid that I would never feel the same way about her. I finally let go of my fear and said it back to her not much later. I decided she was definitely someone I wanted to be in my life.
Then after a couple of weeks (really good weeks) she went on vacation to go visit her family overseas for a couple of weeks. When she came back she told me she may have to take a break to get her life together. She was busy with school so i gave her some space to do that while also still seeing her. Then out of no where she said she wanted to do things alone and just lost the feelings at the beginning of the relationship. But it was so fast after I let go of my guard that I feel like I was in the right to be afraid and now I was left just emotionally fucked. She told me she'll always have feelings for me and she told me things and did things with me that kind of strung me along after the break up. | Gf told me she loved me and after letting go of my guard and saying it back she broke things off and I'm still trying to cope with. |
t3_1l4cch | dating_advice | Is a cold shoulder always indicative of rejection? | 24F here. I've wondered this for all the years I've been dating...is a cold shoulder [sudden end of communication for an extended period of time] always indicative of rejection?
I'd like some opinions on this- I'm really curious. Many of my friends say that the person giving it could be playing games, they could have lost or be losing interest, or they could be rejecting me simply by not saying anything. However, I think in general all those options have the potential of leading to a rejection.
In my experience, at least half of the guys I have dated have given me the cold shoulder at some point. Some of them I stopped dating afterward because communication with them was unpleasant or impossible. Some I continued to date.
Recently a guy I've been very interested in took me out on a fourth date, he'd already declared that he really liked me, and might want something more serious after we dated some more and considered where we were headed. Immediately after our date, he kissed me goodnight outside my place (I wanted him to come in, but he had just moved into a new house and had some unpacking to do before the next day), and we parted ways. After that i have not seen or heard from him, and that was Thursday.
Obviously it sucks when I'm given the cold shoulder, but it's not something I agonize over. However, this most recent experience raises some questions in my mind. Is this cold shoulder always a rejection?
Some insight would be very helpful! | Guy is giving me the cold shoulder after declaring his interest in me after a date. Is this a rejection and does the cold shoulder always lead to rejection? |
t3_22ns3a | tifu | TIFU by taking adderall | Well, reddit. I fucked up. I don't have A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. and I took some because I needed to get caught up on schoolwork and just increase my focus in general. I have a friend who can get adderall and I decided to buy from him. $11 for five 20 mg xr's so why not?
Here's my mistake. I was wanting to stay focused. My friend suggested I take them all at once (I think he was kidding) but I declined. I decided to take two at the same time and then went about my day. Did I mention I've never taken adderall before? Well, it definitely wasn't a good idea to start off with 40 mg. I worked through school and then it gets toward the end of the day and I notice it's starting to fade.
I still have work to get done so I took another one so I'll still be motivated.
Biggest mistake.
First time taking adderall without being A.D.H.D and I'm already at 60mg. I get home, start doing a bunch of assignments that weren't even supposed to be turned in, and then it started to hit me. The comedown.
I feel extremely nauseous right now and I've been doing just about everything I can to stop it. Drank plenty of water all day and I think I'm still dehydrated.
Needless to say I don't think I'm going to be picking up any adderall for a long time if at all. | I bought adderall to stay focused at school and ended up taking a huge dose that ended up with very negative side effects. |
t3_1tpixp | AskReddit | How do I approach the situation where I'm going to have a background check done on me for a career worthy job I was offered but I have multiple felony arrests and no convictions? | My charges were as followed:
* 1. Dealing in Stolen Property
* 2. Defrauding a Pawn Broker
* 3. Grand Theft
* 4. Petty Theft ( I violated my initial probation for this with new theft charges so I was adjudicated guilty for this charge.)
I have no other charges other than these. I have a valid driver's license as well. I'm 25 right now and my last arrest was in June 2013. Once again the adjudication was withheld on the felonies and some of the charges were even completely dropped/abandoned by the state attorney. I'm in Florida as well and for those who do not know, Florida is a right to work state where the employer can fire you for any reason they want. I was offered the position on Monday and I start tomorrow at 9 am. Both of my future bosses chose to hire me over 25+ other applicants and both seemed to really like me and told me I was exactly who they were looking for to join the company. I am completely nervous about having my offer rescinded when this background check reveals my arrest record, but it's not like I robbed a bank, raped someone, or has multiple DUI's and a suspended/revoked driver's license. Am I over thinking panicking for no reason or should I count on having this offer rescinded? Please do not troll me on this topic because I have tried so fucking hard to find a job over the past year and I just finally found a career worthy one and I really want solid, good advice on what to do right now. They are rapidly expanding and have told me that more than likely I will be offered my own company site out west and I will be relocated at no expense to me.( I get the fuck out of Florida, THANK GOD.) So Reddit please tell me how I approach this when I'm asked about it by my boss. This job already means the world to me and I haven't even started yet. Thank you guys. | I was offered a career worthy job, I have multiple felony arrests but was not convicted of anything other than 1 misdemeanor. I start tomorrow and they haven't done a background check yet. How should I approach this situation? |
t3_2hk33v | relationships | Me [25F] with my ex [28M] of 2 1/2 years, he just moved out today | He broke up with me in June, and continued to live with me until a week and a half ago. The breakup was so back and fourth on his end that over the last month and a half he lead me on to believe we'd be working on getting back together.
He lied, he manipulated, he lied some more, and overall the entire process was as fucked up as it could get. Yet I still miss him, and feel empty inside knowing I have no clue the next time I'm going to see him.
He only lives a mile and a half away, and has already been texting me asking if I'll come see his new apartment soon. He's even pulled the "so are we never going to see or talk to each other again?" card. Which I said I'm just trying to respect his request to get some space and find himself. Although that's a lie because really it's just so painful to think about him or imagine seeing him right now.
We have so many mutual friends it's bound we'll end up running into one another a lot. I'm sure we'll even run into each other in the neighborhood. I'm just having an extremely hard time letting go. I'm dreading going home. I guess I'm just looking for some similar stories of people who have their ex so close and how they successfully moved on? Anything really. | Ex just moved out today while I'm at work, I'm dreading going home to a half empty house even though the breakup was horrible because I know I'm going to miss him |
t3_gvfdq | AskReddit | Friends aren't around the amount of time I want them to be around, what do? | Sounds like an incredibly selfish post, but let me explain.
My good friend (best friend for 8 or so years now) is around way too much. So much that I can barely breathe. Every day he wants to do something: make a YouTube video, go to the deli.... well that's pretty much it, that's part of the problem too.
My school friends, on the other hand, are around barely at all. They never seem to come calling outside of school, and half the time they're just sitting at home themselves.
I end up spending most weekends with my only social activity being making YouTube videos or going to the deli. It sucks. I have no excuse to not see my best friend because it's not like I have other social arrangements. He's also the last person I'd be blunt with. If I told him, "dude your ideas for hanging out are always pretty lame", he WOULDN'T get pissed off- which makes it 10000 percent harder for me to say that. I'd just feel bad.
So what the hell do I do? I've got one friend down my neck, a group of other friends I barely see, no one around for the amount of time I want them to be. It sucks. Advice much appreciated. | One friend is nearly stalkerish and has lame ideas, other friends I see ridiculously sparingly. This sucks. What the hell do I do? |
t3_2qn0m1 | Advice | The crossroads of life | Hello, reddit
(beforehand I want to sorry for my grammar mistakes, English is not my native language)
I'm 22 years old student who struggled with life. I realized that I totally hate specialization I'm studying on, all my friends just passing through, going into their own future. I don't know what I want to do with my life and whom I want to become in future. The only thing I know is that I want to change this world, I totally know that I can do it but I don't know how I want to do it. I'm from poor country (Ukraine) which suffering from bad government, awful mentality etc. My parents have that soviet union mentality, telling me that I have to finish university, find a job/wife and work to make my family happy... But I don't want to have wife or children's, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to become a prisoner of that system: family - work - home - debts.
I have 1 more semester left with my university to get bachelor's degree, but I feel like it will be waste of time and money. The only thing I feel I want to do is to go away, change my life completely, discover other cultures and countries, maybe these will help me to find myself. But I'm kinda shy and don't know where it'll lead me. | 22y old, know what I don't want to do, ~~don't know~~ unsure what I want to do. |
t3_4jz5c3 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my close friend [19 F]. She completely stops talking to me. | So I've known my friend Holly for about 4 months now. She is dating one of my friends Steven and we ARE JUST FRIENDS.
I've known her for a while now, but 17 days ago we started getting really close. Skyping for hours, telling each other really personal stuff. I loved her as a friend because she actually listened to me unlike any of my guy friends.
Yesterday I got home and skyping her like usual. Everything was going fine. She leaves to go talk to her boyfriend. I wait hours and she hasn't snapped me or anything so I snap her.
No response. I snap again.
No response.
I ask if i did something wrong.
No response.
I ask if it had to do with me and she say "guess"
I tell her i'm on my bathroom floor crying and I have no idea why she won't talk to me.
No response.
I have no idea what I did and she still won't answer my snaps. I'm freaking out because I don't want to lose my only close friend. Help me out guys. | Best friend (shes a girl and im a guy) stopped talking to me completely after she went to talk to her boyfriend (who is also my friend). |
t3_36i4yg | relationships | What is our [18 M] [18 F] risk of pregnancy? | Disclaimer: We know we're stupid. And we know that there is no way to justify our actions because we were both not acting like ourselves. We are aware of any criticisms that might arise.
The night after her period ended, we had unprotected sex. It was only for about 5 seconds. There was no ejaculation, and there were also no prior ejaculations, and I had just urinated about 20 minutes beforehand, so there shouldn't have been any sperm to leak.
We freaked out reading about the chance of sperm in pre-seminal fluid. Even though we know the chance was extremely low, we still thought it was best to get a friend to get us Plan B that night, and he brought it and she took it the morning after. (within 12 hours)
My only concern is we don't know when her ovulation is, and I (I guess I'm just dumbfounded by modern medicine) don't see how it's possible for this drug to prevent an ovulation that may occur a week from now. Maybe someone could better explain the whole process and how this drug may fit into it.
What is our risk? | Unprotected sex, didn't ejaculate, no prior ejaculations, took Plan B within 12 hours. What's our risk? |
t3_2ltnx8 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my S.O. [19 F] for 3 months, should I be ticked off at something | DISCLAIMER: I am not marriage minded at all, especially given the time duration, but it was a topic that just came up in conversation with the lady friend.
So I was just talking to my girlfriend over the phone and she said she will only say "yes" if proposed to at Disney World. She's a huge Disney fanatic, so that's understandable. The thing that got me was when she said that if she were to be proposed in any other place, she would say "ask again at Disney".
To me, this sounds kinda selfish and shallow. My thoughts on this are that it is would be better to propose in a place that's special for both people. If Disney is special for both people (the proposed and proposer), then by all means it's fair game. If there's a specific place that's special for the two lovers (where the first date was, first kiss, something like that), then that would be considered fair game. I'm just wondering if I seem stupid or not for being mad and/or thinking about this the way I do. | Girlfriend will only want to be proposed to at Disney World and this got to me and I don't know if I seem stupid or not. |
t3_2w4yjc | relationships | My [20/F] boyfriend [23/M] 5 years. He has to put his family dog of 14 years to sleep this week and I am unsure of how to help him with his grief. | I have been with my boyfriend - we'll call him Andy - on and off for over 5 years, but we are now very serious about our future together and have started settling down in a sense. The entire time I've known him Andy has had a family dog - we'll call her Sammy - that has been his best friend since he was little and I know he loves her with all his heart. Over the years I have also grown to love Sammy immensely as well, but sadly she has simply reached the end of the road and though she has outlived all expectations of her age it is time for her to be put to sleep.
Growing up I also had pets, but never a dog, but I understand then connection that my boyfriend has with Sammy and we are honestly both devastated. The thing is that I have never been the most sympathetic of people - not in the sense that I dont care but I just dont really understand how to deal with other people's grief or how best to help them. I know that putting Sammy to sleep is going to be extremely hard on Andy and he will definitely be upset for much longer than I - Sammy had after all been in his family for almost 10 years before I came along. I really want to help Andy while he's grieving and make things as easy on him as possible but this really is losing much more than just a pet for him, its losing a best best friend and Im at a loss of how to help. All those of you who have been through something similar please help! | My boyfriend has to put his family dog and best friend to sleep and I am at a loss of how best to help him having not been through the same situation. |
t3_18gsvg | relationships | My bf[34] watches a lot of porn, & I don't know why I'm[gf:26] not okay with it. Help? | We're both pretty sexual people, and we've been together about ten months. We have sex at least once a day, more if we can. I make sure that even during shark week he's taken care of. Thing is, he still watches porn when I'm not around. I should totally be okay with this! I probably would, too, if I had time at home alone like he does - in fact, I used to a lot, but now that the tables are turned it bothers me, and I honestly can't figure out why. He'd never watch porn while I'm home - what's the point, when something better is right in front of him, you know? But somehow just knowing that he's jacked off while I'm at work makes me so uncomfortable that I start shivering uncontrollably and my heart races like mad, like a panic attack. It's so fucking weird. I've literally lost about ten pounds in the last month, just from stressing out over this. I've even gone so far as to check his browser history and stuff, which I feel awful about. It's not like me to be so intrusive and mistrustful.
I know that he goes on video chat sites, and he's on fetlife. Maybe that's what bugs me, that he's watching people that he could get to know rather than just videos? But when I think about it logically, I know that that shouldn't bother me either, 'cause I know he's committed to me and cares about me a great deal.
I just don't know what's wrong with me. I'm no prude, and I get the need to just satisfy yourself sometimes. I've never been with anyone that's made me as sexually satisfied as him, but if I had time alone I'd probably still masturbate anyway. I dunno. My logical and emotional sides are at war, and my health is getting fucked over cause of it. What do I do? | BF watches a lot of porn, and it literally gives me panic attacks to think about him doing so. Tell me why guys watch porn, so I can assure myself that I'm not inadequate and get over my insecurity. Please? |
t3_13x8vf | college | The guy who lives next to me is an asshole | I live in apartment style housing on campus. It is provided by the university and is pretty good. I have my own room, it shares a wall with the people next to me and with my suite mate, and then we have a kitchen and bathroom that we share.
Anyway the guy who lives next door lives with his girlfriend and I expected to hear a lot of sex. WRONG. Instead I hear them coked out yelling at 5 in the morning and carrying on with tons of people in the room until 3am almost every night of the week. I've asked them to be quiet and they just ignore me.
How can I get back at these fuckers? I assume that since they are up all night they just skip classes in the mornings, so maybe something like banging on the wall or loud music early in the morning when I wake up for my 9ams?
I've tried being nice and asking kindly. How can I fuck with the people next door and make them miserable as they make me every fucking night? | I've tried reasoning with the people next door but they ignore me and continue to be blatantly rude with screaming and being extremely loud until 3am, sometimes even at 5am. |
t3_1b3331 | AskReddit | One of my favorite professor thinks I'm a douchebag because of terrible timing and misinterpretation. How can I fix this? | My favorite professor called me and two of my friends out after class because of something that we feel was complete miscommunication. A guy in our row was dead asleep, and uttered the loudest sleep grunt ever. We all proceeded to chuckle, but our professor turned to us and presumably thought we did it for some laughs. So he called us out, asking us to not disturb the class and we all just felt really terrible because he's our favorite teacher. To make it worse, after class we were speaking about what just happened, and went on some fanatical tangent- and our professor came by and heard the worst part of the conversation we were having completely out of context, so now we think we are even LOWER on his respect list. There are many more awkward timing occurrences that have happened throughout the semester that suggest that he completely hates me at this point, and I can explain them to anyone who wants more background on it. Reddit, how can I fix this situation? | Professor misinterprets behavior in class, calls me and two friends out for it, and we feel ashamed and want to clear the air. |
t3_fgt7d | relationship_advice | Best friend is now Boyfriend | My best friend [19] and I [19] finally decided to take the plunge a couple weeks ago to get in a relationship after being in an emotional relationship for about 2 years. When I say emotional relationship, I mean we did everything couples did but without the hand-holding or any other physical aspects. We're completely in love, and the 2 years of being best friends definitely helped. Prior to this, I have never had any serious relationships (he had 1). He was my first kiss, first person to hold my hand, and etc.
While this may all sound great, I no longer go to school in the city that we both originally came from. By car, I'm about an hour and a half away (if there's no traffic). If there is traffic (which there usually is), it takes him about 3 hours to get to me. I realize that relationships are give and take, but so far, it's been completely "take" for me. I feel absolutely horrible that whenever I want to see him, he has to drive to come and see me after he has school and work. Because I'm stuck at school (no car), I have no way to get to him. I've talked to him about this, and he says he doesn't mind driving to get to me because he loves me; however, that's exactly how he felt with his ex-girlfriend before they broke up (and she only lived about 40 minutes away from him). How am I supposed to give back equally? | Boyfriend always drives long distance to visit me on weekends, but I can't give back and feel terrible about it. What to do? |
t3_1sztya | relationships | I [22 M] am confused by what is going on with this girl [19 F]. Opinions? | I met this very attractive girl in my English class at college about a year ago. We got together and hung out a few times. These hangouts mostly consisted of smoking some herb and talking about school, music, hobbies, etc.. Her body language made it seem like she was interested in me. And when we talk we are always looking each other in the eyes. Recently I've grown to like her but I know that we hardly know each other.
A few weeks ago, we went out for lunch. We were seated at a square table and the hostess sat us across from each other. I felt like it was too far away and said something about it. Next thing I know she's sitting in the seat to the left of me and we faced each other and started talking about relationships. She talked about how she feels as though not many people want to actually get to know her for who she is and not because of how she looks. After lunch we hugged and started going our separate ways. I stopped her and told her I had something to tell her. I told her that I liked her. Before I could get another word in she says that she feels like I'm mature enough and patient enough to get to know her which is what I'd like to do so I made sure she knew that.
Fast forward to last Sunday and she is having computer problems. I'm a tech savvy person so I told her I'd take a look at it for her. She comes to my house and I look at her computer (she had a virus, go figure). While I was looking at it she was sitting close on the couch and it slowly felt as though she was getting closer. After removing the virus we went to get a quick snack. She then dropped me off at my house, we hugged and she said we would hang out soon. I haven't heard from her since. But I've tried talking to her with no reply. Any thoughts? | Met a girl last year and recently told her I liked her. I fixed her computer and I haven't heard from her since. Thoughts? |
t3_21thdm | relationships | My (23F) best friend (22F) is being a complete bitch about my boyfriend(25M) | I've been good friends with this girl since we were 17. We had our problems in the past because we got in an argument. She can be kind of selfish and tends to overreact but she's calmed down since then. She is now pregnant so that may account for some of the moodiness but not completely.
I was friends with this guy before we started dating and she never liked him- she would make REALLY rude comments to his face. He has kind of a show-offy, imaginative personality and would tend to kind of brag so I guess it irritated her. But it's really no excuse for how out of line she acted.
Obviously after that he didn't really like her, and she just makes it clear constantly how she doesn't support us being together. The other day she randomly texted me saying she has "literally no clue what I see in him" and just tries to make me feel like shit about him all the time. We've only been dating a couple months but she knows how much I've liked him for a long time. I really care about her and don't want to throw our relationships away over this but it really just sucks. I can't hang out with both of them at the same time, I feel like I can't talk about him and it makes him feel bad too. She knows she's out of line because she'll apologize once in a while and I know if I say something there's a good chance she'll flip out.
I know this probably sounds so childish but these are two really important people in my life. I can just ignore it I guess but it's really starting to get to me and stress me out. I would love some advice on the situation, maybe a good way to approach her about it. | My best friend doesn't like the guy I'm dating, is very rude to him and gives me grief about it all the time. They both mean a lot to me and I'm not sure what to do about it. |
t3_1cvj5g | self | I'm young, my girlfriend is gonna go bulimic and is starving herself, I need help. | Alright,
Background:
Me and my girlfriend are both 18. We are in our final year, Grade 12, of high school. We've only been going out for about 2 months but we're quite close I think.
Basically, she is extremely self concious about her weight, and always has been. She does not want to be fat, ever. Recently she had been eating unhealthily but I convinced her to start eating 3 square meals a day at least.
But yesterday she said to me she has been putting on weight (which I expected) and it's stressing her out and making her unhappy.
We have our matric dance (prom to you Americans) in 2 months (she's my date obviously) and she wants to look as good as possible. Unfortunately, this means losing as much weight as possible.
She's said to me she's going on a strict diet (which means not really eating much at all) and that she has made herself sick in the past in order to lose weight, which she said she probably will be doing closer to the dance. She hides it from her parents by running a bath while she does it. She said her parents have caught her doing it before and they got angry.
I told her I don't care if she hates me, I will tell them. She told me if I do it will ruin us because **she won't be able to trust me or anyone again** and she has had trust issues in the past.
Now I really don't know what to do. I'm scared. I feel like a bad boyfriend.
She said she will be able to control it and that I mustn't worry but I obviously know life doesn't work like that; one minute you're in control, the next, you're not. And you don't even realize it.
Please help me. | (I'd really appreciate it if you read the whole thing) girlfriend is starving herself and I'm the only one who knows and I'm completely lost, help me please. |
t3_uya3r | relationship_advice | 22y/o Male unsure what to do | Ok. First off, I apologize if this goes to the wrong subreddit.
Here's the story: I started working at my current job a year ago. Since working there I've met some great people although most are significantly older than I am. There is one girl that I feel a great connection with. However, I've noticed that I'm not the only person who has some interest in her. Since working at this place, I've gathered that about 85% of the male employees gawk over her and would do anything for her. She isn't incredibly hot, her body isn't phenomenal, but she is naturally beautiful and has a wicked personality. She is one of the greatest and coolest people I've had the privilege of meeting. We speak and text frequently and there are things I know about her that no one else does; moreover, there has not been a time spent with her that I haven't enjoyed and that we haven't been laughing or smiling with each other.
Now to the problems. 1) This girl is many years older than I am, there is over 10 years age difference between the two of us. Should I let this bother me? 2) She is technically still married. At the end of last September, she stopped wearing her wedding band and knew she no longer wanted to be with this guy, but they are still legally involved with each other. 3) Our working together may hinder any form of potential relationship and the increase in gossip (and there is already more than enough) would be harmful to anyone.
I have attempted to ask her out but her schedule is limited, we still talk so it's not entirely awkward.
Ultimately, I am just unsure of what I should do. Should I be completely honest with her about how I feel and see where it goes? Or should I keep doing what I'm doing and let these emotions fester within my head and heart and potentially let the most amazing person I've met simply pass me by? | Really like a woman with baggage 10 years older than me, not sure if I should sit by and let things happen, or be honest and completely open up to her and hope for the best. |
t3_le5dl | loseit | SV: Broke the 210 barrier | That barrier has been the bane of my workout for the better part of a year. No matter what I did, how hard I worked out, changed my diet around, it didn't seem like I could push through 210 and get my weight down below it.
Skip to today. Been on vacation for a week and a half, travelling for the past four days. Noom reminded me yesterday that I was due for my weekly weigh-in. Problem: No scale (obviously not on my 'to pack' list). Staying down in NC, there's a Wal-Mart nearby, so I jog over this morning and stroll the store, looking for a scale to step on.
Find a cheap Sunbeam dial scale. Not perfect, but it'll do. Step on and lo and behold the needle stops short of 210 pounds. I was a little bleary-eyed at the time, but it looked like it was reading 207!
I'll take it!
**[ | ] Struggled to get under 210lbs for most of the year, find out on vacation that the barrier has been broken! |
t3_3xrtq2 | relationships | Thought I [19m] was about to cut ties with my high school sweetheart [19f] when I got some news | We have been dating for about 5 years now and have had some great times and very few fights. We both went to college but were still only a half hour away so we saw each other all the time. I feel like recently we have run out of things to say to each other and we're slowly drifting apart. I don't quite feel the same way about her that I did throughout our relationship. I had no reason to break up with her but we are living very different lives and I figured I would end it soon. Then she drops this bomb on me like 2 weeks ago. She told me that she was pregnant, and that she had every intention of keeping it. We had a few discussions about what this meant for us and how we would be able to care for this child and still get through school. I thought that we were in no position to begin a family and that she could consider adoption. This has put a huge strain on our relationship. We are still on good terms but barely talk anymore and I just have no idea how to proceed in my life. What should I do here? Should I stay with her and try to raise this child together? I don't want to leave her alone because she has very little support at home and it would be extremely difficult for her to do this on her own. I just have no idea where to begin having this conversation with her, any advice would be greatly appreciated. | I thought I was about to break up with my long time girlfriend but now she is pregnant and keeping it and I have no idea how to proceed in my life |
t3_3mq1bw | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [33 M] of 5 1/2 yrs, he punched an acquaintance while drunk for talking to me | So I have been with my bf for 5 1/2 years. We spent the first 4 years somewhat apart, since I was away for college, but he's moved in with me last November. I've gone out with him before with no issues.
Things started going downhill a few months ago when he started lashing out if drunk. The first time he smashed his glasses, the second time he smashed his phone to pieces. I got really scared the second time. He yelled at me before while drunk but never physically abused me. I got scared then too.
Then last weekend we went to an open air concert and everybody was having a good time, a beer, people were mingling. I met an acquaintance, and there was a word exchange between us. Harmless stuff, like how are you, how have you been, stuff like that.
Then my bf got really mad at my friend and me, and yelled at me telling me my friend told me he loved me (wtf) and things like those. Then he went on and yelled at my friend and ended up punching him.
I didn't want to bring it up right there for fear of not doing something rash and I don't know how to proceed. Any help would be kindly appreciated.
Thank you, reddit. I did not know where else to go. | BF got drunk, punched a friend for talking to me. How should I proceed? He started lashing out more often and I'm scared. |
t3_2tp1fh | relationships | I've [30F] been cheated on by ex [35M] with a woman who's in a LTR; tired of taking the highroad, should I tell her BF? | Going through a breakup right now. My ex cheated on me with a woman who's in a LTR. We've not been using condoms so who knows what's been passed on... (i'm going to get tested soon)
Anyway. It's been driving me insane. When I confronted him i felt GREAT. But now I feel like utter shit. One day i feel ok about it. And another day i'm FURIOUS with bubbling anger. I'm sooo tired of taking the highroad all my life and I really want to have some sort of revenge. Should I inform the BF about his cheating GF? Will I get any sense of relief?
When and how will this anger leave me? I feel so hurt and used and cheated on and annoyed and my heart has been basically ripped apart and pissed on by bisons...
Please help... if you've been in a similar situation, please share your stories. | ex cheated on my with a woman who's in a long term relationship. They're not in an open relationship and her BF doesn't have a clue she's cheating. Should I tell her BF anonymously? |
t3_170lua | self | Is there some sort of database or something for torrenting textbooks? | Obviously, typing "where can I torrent textbooks" into google doesn't work. I ordered my textbooks online last week, paid extra money to have them shipped by today, when I have several assignments due. (Asshole teacher didn't tell us what books we needed until the first day of class, then gives us four days to do two major assignments.) Well, late Saturday night, I get an email from the place I ordered my textbooks saying my order was cancelled because of backorder. Why they couldn't tell me they were out of stock before I made the order, I have no idea. By that time it was too late to order them somewhere else and get them in time, so now I've been hopelessly trying to find a way to torrent the textbooks I need. If you just want to chew me out about being a thief and scamming helpless companies out of their money, don't even bother commenting. I paid the money and it was thrown back in my face, and now it's an emergency. | Need to find a way to torrent specific textbooks, place I ordered my books from said fuck you and cancelled my order at the worst possible time. |
t3_xqnbk | Parenting | Birthday party guests | So I'm in an.. odd situation. Well probably not because I'm sure some of you have been here.
I'm planning my soon to be 6 year olds party, and I have a friend that I nearly feel obligated to invite. She's a good person, has gone through a lot and frequently puts the spotlight on her. That's not the really the issue here though. Her oldest is 99% ADHD and she has decided not to use drugs. I"m usually fairly anit-drug, but this little boy truly needs it. I won't go into all that, lets just leave it as he is one of the few that does.
The problem is her little boy isn't a great influence on my kiddos. When he's on his meds (He's been on them before) he's much better and less of the lets go color on the walls. Now yes, it is definitely partly my kids fault for going along with it. I don't deny that. The other is when she's here, mom doesn't really pay attention to her kids. That adds to the issue.
The reason I'm debating on inviting her is her daughter. Sweet little girl, she and my kiddos get along great.
SO the question, should I invite this friend or not? | 6 year olds birthday party coming up, friend doesn't always watch her kids, her son is not the best influence mostly due to his untreated ADD, but her daughter is wonderful. Should I invite or not? |
t3_1tg6z8 | travel | Greeting fellow travelers! I need your advice on travel destinations for the next 4 months! | I just graduated and am looking to travel either in SE Asia or Europe (again). I'll be travelling alone (although I'm happy to meet fellow redditors if they are out and about). I've visited all of Western Europe + Turkey over the course of 5 months but would like to visit Northern & Eastern Europe if I were to visit again.
I've got approximately $4500 USD for everything (Flight, food, shelter). I'm looking for your suggestions and opinions about travel, why you would suggest one region over another, and struggles I might encounter (specifically Asia).
A little more about me if you want some background: I'm 22, starting a programming job in April, speak Spanish & Portuguese, very outgoing and charismatic, have only ever traveled solo before, have a US and EU passport (2nd gen. Irish) and easily frustrated by time restraints and strict schedules. | I need travelers advice on picking where I visit for the next 4 months between Europe and Southeast Asia with $4500 USD to spend on all expenses. |
t3_2r29yc | relationships | Me [26 M] with my fiancee [26 F], we are set to get married in about a year, but I can't get over the fact that I've never been with another woman. | I absolutely love my fiancee, she is truly the woman of my dreams. She's amazing and I know I could never find another woman like her... but I can't get over that she's the only woman I've ever been with. We've been together since we were 19 and I couldn't ask for a more fulfilling relationship, but I'm curious about other women. I haven't even kissed another woman who I wasn't related to! She, on the other hand, has been with a few other people and has had a long-term relationship before me, which I don't hold against her (obviously, she has had a healthy sex life for her age). For the last year or so, my mind (and dick) have been constantly obsessing over the fact that I have never been with another lady. I constantly check out other women and fantasize about having sex with a stranger.
Since we've gotten engaged, I've sort of been panicking. I'm about to commit to a life of making love to only one woman. Don't get me wrong, I find my wife very sexy and we make love often, but even so, the mind wanders. I've tried many things to try to make the feeling go away, from not masturbating for weeks at a time to wanking it to crazy porn multiple times a day. I've even been secretly seeing a sex therapist for the past 3 months. Nothing helps. I don't see myself as a potential cheater, but honestly, it makes me sad to imagine living a full life but only having made love to a single woman.
What do I do?? I don't want to lose this woman whom I love so dearly, but this urge to fuck other woman is insane and driving me crazy. I want these urges to go away. | I love my fiancee very dearly but I can't stop obsessing over the fact that I've never been with another woman. |
t3_jia8e | AskReddit | Anyone else keep mementos of a bad time? | I keep [this] around to help me keep level headed when drinking. Years ago I went to a house party and got pretty drunk. I am hanging out in the yard and someone suggested that we start a fire. In total drunken douchebag fashion, I run to the house and grab the first wooden item I see. I just grabbed some cheesy coat rack with various sports balls etched as the pattern. So I contribute that to the budding fire. Little did I know the item had sentimental value. It was one of the first wood-work projects one of the guy's whose house I was at completed with his grandfather that had died.
This is brought to my attention and I feel terrible. In addition, there is a group of guys that now want to kick my ass because of it. This aggression sends me over the edge. I not only feel bad for ruining the shop project of a grandson and grandfather, but I am being passively threatened with violence like, "start something bro."
In a fit I leave the party and go home. I wish I had just called it 'a night' there. Instead, I grab the above linked frame that my sister had gotten me when I was younger. I was out to prove I wasn't a bad guy. Self convicted eye for an eye, I go back to the party and smash the gift from my sister trying to make drunken amends.
I am not proud of that whole ordeal and keep the uneven, scrapped, and discolored picture with me. Tattered golfing Mickey Mouse has come with me though several moves, keeping me in check. | I tore Mickey Mouse a new one while he was on the links, just cause I was a lot of drunk. |
t3_fg4rq | AskReddit | Reddit, can you help me find the maker of this young, aspiring black child? | Abandoned by his parents at an early age, Lafondo Carlton (his given name, by us) was left on the street, like a litter of unwanted kittens. Feeling compassionate, we rescued him from a cardboard box and an undoubtedly miserable life.
Over the past year, he has accompanied our family on various trips around the world, including Mexico, Italy, Spain, Portugal, France, Germany, Czech Republic, Japan, South Korea, and the United States.
Through the course of his travels, Lafondo has worn down, physically and mentally. Repeatedly, he has asked us of his heritage. Sadly, we know very little, if anything, about this poor child's past... Reddit, can you help us track down this aspiring young man's ancestry? | We've carried this statue around to several countries and we would really like to know where the fuck it came from. Help, plz. |
t3_36jhon | legaladvice | Does game companies have the right to ban players for nothing? | Hey!
If you are familiar with CS:GO you can skip a head to the bottom, else you might need to read it all to understand the situation.
Some of you might be familiar with the Valve game, Counter-Strike: Global Offensive.
It is a fps competetive game.
Anyhow, it is quite common that people download cheats to this game and they most often get banned from the game. This ban includes that all of their virutal items gets locked onto their account. They cannot trade them or sell them for money (which only can be used in their store to buy more games on steam (game platform)). I am 100% aware that they are allowed to do this since it is stated in their terms of use.
These cheats gets detected by their automatic anti-cheat system "V.A.C."
As you know no automatic system is bullet proof and therefore it is very rare that innocent people gets inbetween and get unrightfully banned.
**Now it is time for my question, if you jumped a head. Start here!**
Last month I got an unrightful ban.
I have a value on my locked account of around $200 which now I cannot use. Therefore I have to add even more funds to my account in order to buy games. I can not use the ones I already have in virutal items.
Their support wont answer me. They even blocked me from using it after I asked why I got banned.
Is this legal? Could I write them a letter and threaten them to hire a lawyer if they wont seriously look into the issue?
I mean, after all they have "stolen" $200 plus the game. (which isn't that much and a lawyer will cost more. But I would rather pay a lawyer to do a job than let a company steal from me.) | Does Valve have the right to block anyones account and prevent them from selling their virutal items they bought for real money even if they did not break their terms of use? |
t3_saggg | AskReddit | Four of my best friends got busted for vandalism and might be charged. Their court date is in June. What do I do? | On Friday night, I was hanging out with four of my best friends. We were at a wal-mart plaza when one of my friends suggested that we should buy spray paint and go around and tag buildings and shit. Obviously this was a stupid idea, but to my friends, I guess it wasn't. So, my friends decided to buy it, and they wanted to go to an elementary school we used to go to and spray the hell out of it. Now, I didn't want to do this and if I didn't I guess I was being a pussy. It was almost 10pm at the time, and my Mom texted me to be home before then, so I did.
The next day, I was hanging out with two of my friends who sprayed the school, and they showed me where they sprayed the paint. We went to the school and they wrote racial slurs, a swastika and other really dumb things. Now, my friends weren't racist or anything, I just think they wrote that crap because they wanted to be known, or cool or something. I told them how they were fucked in the head for doing it, but they didn't think so. Anyways, we went back to one of my friends house, and around 9 or 10 o'clock pm, 2 police officers came to the door and asked for my friends. They both went outside talking to them for about 20 mintues, when both of my friends came inside and said they were going to the station. After that, I went back home and my friend messaged me saying they might get charged and are going to court in June. I feel extremely lucky that I wasn't there, but I also feel bad for my friends and what they're going through. They aren't bad guys, or assholes, or a bunch of racist dudes or anything. They're pretty good guys, and I feel like they don't deserve it that bad.
So, should I be worried, because I'm kind of sketching out pretty hard. My parents don't know yet and I feel I should tell them about it tomorrow. | Friends got busted for vandalising a school, they are in deep fucking shit, what do I do? Am extremely worried. |
t3_33cunj | relationships | My ex gf (20F) is still attempting to contact me (25M) after she dumped me over 8 months ago. | I made it very clear after we broke up that I was not interested in being friends. After a couple of months of no contact, she started getting a hold of me via text and even some calls. I usually ignored the calls and would only text her back if I felt it actually needed a response. . I reminded her again that I was not interested in being friends.
Fast forward to now, I've had a new phone number for a month and she's sending me direct messages on instagram (which I don't follow her on) to ask if I blocked her number. I told her I got a new number but didn't give it out to her. She then asked if I hated her. I said no, and then she asked me to text her and sent her number again. I haven't responded or texted her.
I'm just confused. I've made it quite clear that I don't want to be her friend yet after 8 months of sparse contact from my end, she's persistently attempting to be in touch with me again. Is it regret or guilt? Is it just an ego stroke to see if I'm still on the hook? Or, most unlikely, does she have feelings for me still? | Ex gf broke up with me 8 months ago, but still goes out of her way to make contact with me even after I got a new phone number. |
t3_45b99v | relationships | How do I [26M] become more successful at online dating? | I've been dating online for the past 18 months or so and have not had a whole lot of luck. I've tried OkCupid, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble, etc. Currently, I'm just using Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel and getting very few hits at all. OkCupid historically has not been very kind to me.
I consider myself to be a somewhat attractive person. I don't know how well it comes through in my photographs though. Seems you need to be in the top 5% of attractiveness to be really successful in online dating. I'm confident that I don't fall into that set.
Historically, I haven't been very selective when dating and thus have gotten a fair number of dates. However, I'd often find myself settling a lot. I don't want to do that anymore. However, when I'm selective, I don't seem to get any dates at all. How do I strike a proper balance?
I feel like I have a lot to offer another person. I have a lot of interests that I'd love to share: international travel, craft beer, healthy living/exercise, etc. Seems like it's really hard to sell these traits online though. | I'm feeling frustrated and burnt out with a general lack of success in online dating. What can I do to improve? How do I become really successful at it? |
t3_lgpqa | AskReddit | So we hired a male stripper last weekend for my friends 21st... | We were just wondering if how our stripper behaved is normal, or more of reverse prostitution.
Basically, we called an agency and they sent us a stripper for 200$. He showed up in costume, stripped down to a thong with a dick sock on it, and eventually started pulling out his dick and kind of tapping us in the face with it. He took out two girls boobs and sucked their nipples. He was finally entirely naked and encouraged dick grabbing. Eventually he sat down, whipped out some lube and asked who wanted to help him.
am i correct in thinking this is not the typical stripper experience? | a stripper dick slapped my friends and i, sucked some nipples, and was finished off by us. then texted me 2 days later thanking us for a "great night ;-)" |
t3_3vbmae | relationship_advice | GF needs place to live...advice please! | My gf (23) and (26) I have been together for a year and a half. We love each other and have an amazing relationship, could not ask for more. We see each other and she stays at my place 2-3 nights a week, primarily because our schedules are opposite and its the only way we can spend time together.
Her lease is up in a few weeks with her roommates and she isnt renewing with them. She is moving in with her step parents as a temporary solution while she figures her living situation out. She has been on her own since she was 16, so she isnt happy about going to her step parents.
She has not asked, I have not offered, but for many reasons (opposite schedule, commute to work, rent, etc) it would make sense for her to move in with me until my lease ends in 6 months. Im just worried it could screw up the amazing relationship we have. Neither of us have lived with a significant other before. | GF would be better off moving in with me than her step parents, but Im concerned of the effect it could have on our nearly perfect relationship. |
t3_2ykwgk | relationship_advice | I [25/M] broke up with my GF [25/F]. She is partially moved out. Is it possible to work on myself while being with her? | We've been together for over 2 years, long distance for a year, living together for 7 months. I've never been a confrontational guy, and most would say I'm very easy going. I've rarely or never had fights in past relationships and I feel that may be a result of neither party caring enough to fight.
However, this relationship was different. I would best characterize her as proud, stubborn, anxious, and emotional when she is upset. We would get into arguments around 2 times a month, often ending in me caving or accepting defeat in order to stop the silent treatment. I don't think her reaction or motivation for being upset was always reasonable, but I let it slide in order to move on and stop the fighting. Every time she would be upset at me I felt awful.
I've done a lot of self reflection over the past couple days and I've come to the conclusion that I need a lot of positive affirmation and validation from others (especially significant others) in order to be happy. When she is mad at me, I lose that validation and it hits me harder than it should. I become depressed, anxious, and restless even when I know the argument isn't threatening to our relationship. To give some context, I grew up in a family that gave a lot of affirmation and love. Additionally, I have only been single for a total of 16 months out of the past 9 years.
We are currently separated and she is staying at her parents. Last time we spoke she wants to stay together and thinks that I am throwing away something keeping. I am trying to avoid any contact at least until the end of the week. | Is it possible to reduce my high need for affirmation and validation while still being with her? Is this a journey I can do while I'm in a relationship with the right rules and priorities in mind? |
t3_ppwt4 | AskReddit | My last 24 hours of reddit | I figured that out today. So, this is my last 24 hours of redditing. I will probably never come back, as it is just to addictive. I wan't to be a productive member of society and WIN it. I am going to become rich. To become rich one needs to work hard and that is not compitable with reddits addictive nature.
However, I will ask you, reddit(tor) for a last favour. My little brother, who also is also a redditor, needs help. He need help understanding that reddit is not the way to go. So he needs to read this, so I am asking for nothing less than front page...
For him to figure out that it is him I am talking about: He is born in 1988, lives with two other guys, one musician/technician and one computer geek. They live in Trondheim and they buy 20*24 cans of coca cola in sweeden every now and then. OK, if he reads this, he knows.
This message is to him, in norwegian:
Du må for FAEN forstå at dagene som går er selve livet! Jeg vil bli rik men jeg trenger antagelig din hjelp. For å få til det er er jeg avhengig av at du dusjer hver dag, at du støvsuger leiligheten og soverommet ditt minst en gang hver fjortende dag og at du skifter sengetøy hver uke. På Torsdag. Også, Du må gå på skolen. Jeg er avhengig av at du tar en ingeniørutdanning. Det krever mye av deg. Helvettes vanskelig er det. Og til slutt: slett reddit.com. Slutt. Med. Reddit. Som du ser av denne posten så sletter jeg kontoen min om 24 timer. | Quitting reddit in 24 hours, need help to get little brother to get a grip of his life. I hope this works. |
t3_34dplz | tifu | TIFU by not asking a girl her name :( | Obligatory "Not today, but Tuesday".
Recently I have been having trouble with my grades so I have to stay after school for "tutoring" and stuff. This was my second time going, and a dude I didn't really know was there. I went to the Dragon Hill (Hotel on Yongsan) and sat down near him and his friends. Well, there was this really HAWT brunette girl sitting with them. She and a another two girls are going to different school in the area. On to the story. We talk, the dude, let's call him Andy, is making out with the Blonde, an Indian girl talks about her boyfriend stripping, and I am sitting here waiting for the next episode of Mianite.
Fast forward 10 minutes and the brunette, let's call her Sally, and the blonde, let's call her Harley, walk into the burger king my friend and I are in. Sally waves to me, I wave back. they leave the bathroom, and she waves again. My friend is completely dumbfounded, and now I am regretting not asking for her facebook or something. Sadness is ensuing as I sit here at the Dragon, hoping they come today. )`: | Met a pretty girl, waves to me at burger king, twice! and I forget to ask her her name. Crap. |
t3_3fol6h | relationships | Me 28m with my gf 28f, 2 years, she is now a daily marijuana smoker and I am worried for her health. | Please understand that I don't have any issue with her smoking for moralistic reasons or anything like that.
My girlfriend has had extremely bad insomnia since she was a child. Part of her issue is chronic sleep paralysis. She's been in counseling and seen doctors for it but gave up because it became too expensive, even with insurance, to pursue. She's taken everything under the sun for it, nothing helps. The only other thing that helps is melatonin, but it can be finnicky and will usually make her feel awful the next day, regardless of how early or late she takes it.
She discovered, after moving to a weed-legal state, that smoking/weed in general puts her to sleep like nothing else. I have to say that in the past 5 months of her doing this, she has been more refreshed. Whereas she might have gotten 4-6 hours every few days before, she can get a solid 6 hour sleep per night, more depending.
My only concern is that, due to the fact that edibles are expensive, as well as good vapes being expensive, she has to smoke from a regular glass bowl. She will take breaks for a few weeks, but a bottle of edible candies for $20 will last her maybe one week, one and a half if she stretches it. The 1/8th she gets for $20 lasts her about 3 weeks if she stretches it.
I'm worried about how this will affect her lungs, etc. She doesn't enjoy the smoking aspect of it like some smokers do, but I know she enjoys being high and being able to roll over and fall asleep in 3 minutes versus lying awake for 5 hours.
I don't want to come across like I have an issue because weed is evil or anything, but I also really, really want any suggestions on how to make it so her lungs don't suffer, and how to best talk to her about this stuff without it sounding like I have an issue with the smoking part. | Long-term insomniac girlfriend discovered weed put her to sleep like a baby. I'm very concerned for her health and I don't know how to best talk to her about it without making her feel guilty or anything. |
t3_12y4u9 | Advice | How do I be less judgmental? | I think I have a problem. When I meet people, over time I form an opinion of them, how I see them...which I think is normal...But if they end up messing with that image I created...at all...it drives me absolutely apeshit. I guess I have a bit of a controlling demeanor, but it stresses me out when people seem to change who they are, or who I thought they were. Is there anything I can do other than "stop being crazy" to sort of just, let stuff happen as it will? It stresses me out to the point of panic attacks when people act like people that I didn't think they were. I even end up saying things that nobody should say to another person, just for say...getting a tattoo and wearing a leather jacket, when I didn't think they were the type to do so. | How do I be less judgmental? If people end up messing with the image I created of them as I got to know them, it drives me insane. This seems crazy to me, but I can't shake it. |
t3_2j5sjl | relationships | Girlfriend (20/f) of 2 years broke up with me (20/m). Seeks me out drunk and miserable wanting her "BEST FRIEND" back! | LOSING MY MIND OVER THIS GIRL. HELP!
Last couple of months we somehow started to get quite distant communication-wise. Just over a week ago we broke up. She sat down with me and told me she had simply "lost feelings". So I saw no other way than to agree to end our relationship.
I chose to respect her for being honest and the last few days I've given her space, nailed the no-contact rule and other basic get-her-off-your-mind-techniques. I was starting to convince myself i had to move on, but then..
PLOT TWIST! She didn't handle it so well. Last saturday she came running to my apartment drunk as FUCK (she had been out drinking with her friends). She was barely able to stand up, crying and SOBBING about how much she missed me, NOTE; repeatedly referring to me as her "best friend". I got the full story how miserable she had been and then told me *she could not live without me*. I let her sleep over. She even hinted to get intimate, but I respectfully ignored it.
Sure enough, the morning after she went straight home, later texting me saying she was sorry and in regret of what happened. When I asked her what she really wants, she said she **don't know**. It hurts to see her upset, especially knowing I'm the reason for it. I don't want to lose her, but 'lovers to friends' is a tricky concept. And thats what I told her.
IM CONFUSED! Is a friendship what she really wants? Could I win her back, or should I keep my distance?
Sidenote: We first started dating in 2011. Never had any serious fights, but a lot of long-distance complications. | 2 year relationship ended. I want my GF back. She seem to want her *friend* back. How do I handle this? Comments much appreciated!:) |
t3_283p76 | relationships | Why do I [M/20] have to always text first [F/20]? | ~Throwaway Account~
Okay, Hello everyone, I really manage you guys can help with this issue.
Anyway, the issue is that i'm the one that always has to initiate with the texting or chatting, I know if the other SO never initiates then that means the guy/girl is not interested, But whenever i start a chat, we chat for long periods of time and she does nothing but complement me and say things that are a little bit too flirty.
The other issue is, She sometimes does not answer or text back, Like a few days ago, it has been three days now, Even though I can ask her if something's wrong, I've already done that, So im trying nothing to talk or text/chat until she initiates and im dying from that urge of texting, reddit, please help | I always text 1st, and sometimes she does not even respond until later, and im sick of initiating and the urge of texting even though i should not. |
t3_4070wp | tifu | TIFU by pissing my friend off with a realistic possibility. | So I have a small group of friends that I've known since middle school (7-8) that I can say just about anything to, no matter how dark or inappropriate it is. So this fuck up starts in the local mall, my friend (lets call him B) is looking for something for his new sister in-law's birthday.
We look around for a few hours but find nothing. Anyways, we are in a clothing store and my other friend, C, mentions why not get her baby clothes (his sister in-law is a few weeks pregnant). I look at C and say, "But there is the chance it could be a stillborn." Did...did I just say that? C gives me this wtf look and goes to tell B. B and C talk for a few seconds then B looks directly at me and gives me this death stare, like I can feel my trousers on the urge of being shat because I am scared (I've never seen him actually mad). Suddenly C grabs me from behind and B goes for both of my nipples with full strength and no mercy.
After what feels like an eternity, I am released rubbing my nips for some kind of relief from the aganizing pain. I can tell B is still really pissed at me but I didn't think he was going to do anything else at this point.
I was wrong. The three of us enter Hot Topic and the first thing B does is find the nearest employee. He asks, "Hello, my friend here was wondering if you have any plastic blow up dolls, maybe one that is a horse, or a goat, or something. The employee is kind of like wtf and says he doesn't think so but takes us to the back (For those of you that don't know there is a lot of "adult" toys and what not in the back). B didn't really do anything else to me after that but I talk with C in the car when B has to go home and we discuss what I said was possible but that is a **HUGE** grey area. This was like 10 hours ago and my nipples still hurt. | My friend killed my nips and made a majority of the employees at the local mall's Hot Topic think I "like" goats and horses. Not like I'll be shopping there anyway but still. |
t3_3i1r7h | relationships | I [18F] feel like I'm going crazy. Supposedly false memory, but it feels like someone is messing with me. | Hello, thank you in advance for reading. I [18F] live with my boyfriend and roommate [both 21M]. This is going to sound like a ridiculous story, but it really has me worried.
When we first moved into our apartment (in March), I bought a Pyrex measuring cup because we didn't have one. My boyfriend had already ordered the exact same one off amazon, so when it showed up, we realized we had two of the same measuring cup. No big deal.
Fast forward to yesterday. I was making an elaborate dinner and ended up using both measuring cups at the same time. One designated to eggs, the other to water and stuff. After dinner, I washed all of the dishes and put the measuring cups away.
Today I got home from work and my boyfriend asked me to make him some brownies. So I go to grab a measuring cup, and as I'm putting water in it, I realize it's not ours..? It's an Anchor brand measuring cup and it's slightly dirty with water drying stains. Its sgaped nothing like my pyrex ones. That's when I go back and realize that *one* of my Pyrex measuring cups is missing.
I am upset so I ask my boyfriend and roommate, the only 2 people that have been in the house since yesterday. They both dismiss me and tell me to calm down and that I'm probably misremembering. I KNOW I had two of the exact same Pyrex measuring cups!!!
I feel like I'm going crazy and I tried to research it but I only found articles about false memories in serious things like molestation, nothing about very minor things. I feel scared like I'm being gaslighted. My dad is diagnosed with OCD that he is supposed to take medication for and also takes Xanax for his anxiety. I only mention because they may be genetically passed down?? I don't know what's going on. It seems unlikely that my measuring cup would go missing the same day a new one showed up. I hope someone has had a similar situation and can share some insight. Thanks in advance. | know I had two of the same measuring cups, one went missing and a mystery one showed up. Feel like I'm going crazy. |
t3_s1gvi | tifu | TIFU. Dutch-ovened myself, puked. | Last night, I decided to go out for ice cream. I'm lactose intolerant, but my stomach hasn't been acting up lately, so I thought I'd have a treat. I had a cone and I felt fine, other than a little rumbling in my stomach before bed. That night, I had a strange dream, where I was being chased by a monster through a jungle. I kept running, and pulling down leaves, in hopes that I'd trip up the beast. I could feel it getting closer, and I found myself being overcome by waves of nausea as its rancid breath washed over me. I shrieked, as my leg caught on a vine and I went sprawling across the jungle floor, the beast's breath filling my lungs and making me cough and choke...
And then I woke up, still coughing, and realized that I'd pulled all of my blankets over my head, trapping in a night's worth of half-digested milkfarts. The smell was so powerful that I barfed in my mouth, splattering specks of puke willy-nilly as I wrestled my way out of the stanky blankies. Then I took a shower and did one of those things where you slide down the wall and cry, as the realization that I farted so bad that it gave me a nightmare fully sank in. | Dutch ovened myself, barfed. I'm also probably never going to go to the jungle or eat ice cream again. |
t3_512r0g | legaladvice | PA - Landlord wants to withhold part of security deposit for "dirty toilet and not vaccuuming" | Whereas the lease says nothing about being obligated to return the premises to as clean as before - simply reasonably clean.
In the conversation that the landlord and I had over messenger, I had responded that I felt as though I left the premises as clean as before.
She has failed to take pictures of the condition of the place before cleaning it - simply claiming that her having to clean the toilet on her own was reason enough to "figure out" how much to withhold.
Another reason she claimed to wish to withhold is that I had my girlfriend stay as a guest frequently, so we owe her for utilities, and that we had a dog in the home for a week, before removing her at the request of the landlord. She even said herself in writing that she considered the issue "resolved" and that she acknowledges the dog had not done any damage.
We complied with her demands for the pet, and even though we violated the lease, we resolved the issue. I think I've read that it's not grounds to withhold the security deposit, and that the security deposit is only to be used for damages.
So far, we only have pictures of the place beforehand, the lease, and her complaints of cleaning, but no official list of damages assessed. | I guess my question is, do we have a case for small claims court, and what qualifies as a written list of complaints? Does a bitchy facebook message count? |
t3_3ycuux | relationships | Me [22 M] and my friend [21 M] somehow have gotten into a love triangle with someone | So, I've somehow gotten myself into a weird pickle. Starting from the top, my friend, lets call him Kim. He's been single for a while, and so have I, but it doesn't bother me, I really couldn't care. However, a few weeks ago while we were picking my roommate up from work Kim spotted a co-worker of my Roommate (Lets call them Vader.) I'm friends with the Co-worker of Vader personally, but I don't know them super well. Kim seemed interested in the Co-worker, so I was trying to figure out a way to hook them up on a date, kinda as a Christmas present I guess? Just trying to be a good bro.
As of recent, I've decided to get to know this co-worker because Kim asked me to, just incase they were incompatible. (I know him well enough, so I figured this would work. So I've been trying to get to know the Co-worker and it seems they are starting to have a little crush on me. I've tried to brush them off, but they seem to be really into me.
I'm a huge follower of the bro-code, so going with the co-worker would go against my friendship to Kim, who I value as a friend. Or I could go with the Co-worker and just start dating them, which I wouldn't be against, but I'm scared of disapointing my friend. I don't know what to do! So I'm afraid I have to turn to you, /r/Relationships. After how much I've contributed to here. :( | Friend and me got into a love triangle with someone, said person likes me and my friend wants to like said person. I kinda like said person but I'd also like to set the two up together. |
t3_qgk2n | books | Help me identify the title/author of a story I remember parts of? | This has really been bothering me for a long time. Should I post in [/r/TOMT](/r/TOMT) instead? I thought /r/books might be more likely to be able to help me.
I read this years ago. I have no idea where I got it; maybe I picked it up from a shelf? I think it was a short story, not novel-length, but it was a stand-alone book, not in a compilation or anything (I think).
The title was something about a toucan or a pelican and a name, like Toby, and a color, like Blue. or I could have that completely wrong..
The author was someone known, I am pretty sure, like Kurt Vonnegut. I tried to look at titles of his work to see if anything jogged my memory but had no luck.
The content of the story was very weird. The title referred to a statue/sculpture this couple had in their house, the pelican or toucan or whatever it was. Pretty sure it had a name. The couple read to each other (?) and then there was some bondage going on. It was not like smut or anything, it was realistic-like. He tied her up, like it was something they did frequently, he put a handkerchief in her mouth. I don't recall if there was actually any sex.
I don't remember much else. Something about the statue at the end. They were moving or something. The tone was kind of sad. The descriptions were so vivid though, it has stuck in my memory, particularly the handkerchief in her mouth. I am pretty sure this is a piece of literature by a known author, not just some erotica I read or something..but my memory could be wrong..
I know this is pretty obscure and that I don't know many details, but I thought I would try! | short story about a statue of a pelican or toucan or something and a man casually tying up and gagging his female partner? |
t3_1hscxj | relationships | What effects (positive & negative) will a threesome(ffm) have on our relationship? (19f, 21m) | I know I may be beating a dead horse but in a way every story is different. Ill keep it short and sweet.
Also guys, this is a relationship question, not a "gimme tips on how to be attracted to girls or how to force myself to enjoy this" thread. Just trying to keep my relationship strong and happy.
My(19f) boyfriend(21m) suggested a threesome about six months into our relationship. We have been together well over a year now and I have finally discussed the idea with him seriously. Yesterday we got into contact with some possible ladies to join us.
The second a girl responded, I had the weirdest sensation in my head, heart, and stomach. I at first felt a wave of intense jealousy, but that subsided and then came the curiosity and realization that this is real. This is happening.
We have talked about how this act is going to happen and I explained to him how important our relationship is and we agreed that we would prefer it stay intact. I explained to him these conditions:
Feeling of strong long term commitment, trust, & respect,
Understanding of my feelings and what I will be experiencing, which is entirely new
Understanding that I don't know what I'm doing yet in terms of doing sexual stuff with a girl
Details on when, where, who & what; especially last two
Agreements on what is and is not okay with her
Correct safety precautions, no exceptions.
We agree that there shouldn't be blame post-activities considering we can't control what happens in the past
Understanding I am willing to try this once, any other tries are pending
Anyway, it just got me curious about how this is going to work out and it raised several questions:
1: besides taking it out, What is the best thing to do to ensure I am comfortable?
2: what are the positive and negative effects of doing this? Anyone experience it?
3: what else should I be asking and what are the answers? | gonna have a ffm threesome with bf and I don't want it hurting us, so what things do I need to take into consideration ahead of time so I don't mess this up. |
t3_2nyd8e | Pets | What pet should I get? | Hey guys,
so I hope this isnt inappropriate to ask, but I always had a dog around when I was growing up and now that I moved out from my parents I'd really like to have a pet buddy.
Now I'd love to have a dog, but because of my job and stuff I won't be able to 100% satisfy it, so I'd rather not get one as I don't want for it to be lonely/bored/hyperactive etc.That being said I thought about getting a rodent. I don't really have much "experience" with pets other than dogs, but I imagine that a rodent (haven't decided what kind yet) generally is rather low maintenance. Feed it, provide it with a nice cage (with a nice wheel to run :D) and clean it every other day should do the trick right?
Then my mom also suggested a cat. I never had one and I have no idea how they "work". I only had a friend once with a couple of cats and it seemed as if the litter boxes had a quite distinctive smell. Now the thing is, that my "apartment" currently isn't bigger than a room (I live with roommates until I feel like moving into an own apartment), so smells would make me rather uncomfortable in a rather small and closed room. Maybe I am wrong and he just didn't clean them often enough/properly or whatever, so it'd be cool if you could tell me from experience.
Another thing is: I wanna have a pet that kinda.....recognizes me and loves me :D. I know that sounds cheesy and weird, especially if you imagine a 200lb guy, but I absolutely hate fishes for example, because they're just there to be looked at, but I actually want to interact with the pet. I realize that dogs are mans best friend and that probably no other pet can love you as much, but how are cats/rodents in that regard and is there maybe even a difference between say a guinea pig and a hamster? | how much attention do different kinds of rodents need? What about a cat? And do they actually love me for my personality, or the food? :P |
t3_341l1n | relationships | I [23 M] think that I screwed up a opportunity with [20 F] woman, what the heck do I? | Before I begin, I will actually point whomever reads this to the two previous posts that I have posted here so that you may understand the full context of this post right here.
As such, I have continued to speak with "Melissa" via Facebook and on Thursday, I truly believed I was making significant progress after I comforted her on how she carried herself during our presentation the previous day. Subsequently, Melissa made me blush after she had complimented me and I do not receive those all that often honestly.
Nevertheless, I messaged her the following day, with a very flirty message about what she was wearing Wednesday. And lo and behold, complete radio silence since though she has read it. Did I screw up something or am I reading too much into it and should continue on or move on? | Send a flirty message to a young woman I'm interested in and she has not messaged me back since. Should I move on from here or do something else? |
t3_3i1mgd | relationships | Me [23 M] met [23 M] on a dating app and have been talking for 2 months | So we have been talking for a couple months on a dating app and exchanged phone numbers but have not met in person. This person is extremely shy and even though I wanted to meet on many occasions they did not want to. I trusted them because I knew them in real life. However they did not realize they knew me as well. Coincidentally I dated his friend.
At first he did not know who I was as I used my real name, found on my drivers licence, which differs from the one everyone knows me by.
Then after months of talking knowing that we liked each other to the point he would cry over me. Problems occurred. He found out who I was. He found out that I dated his friend and had been lying to him that I didn't know who he was the whole time.
Now he is doubtful and confused, he had never been in a relationship and is the kind of shy person who gets embarrassed easily. He said he wanted time to think about the situation.
A few days later I made him a surprise hand made card and secretly paid for an event he was going to. Now I am still waiting for an answer.
It has been 2 weeks, I do not know what to do or if I should do anything. | Someone I liked and who liked me found out that I lied about the fact that I knew who they were from the very beginning. Now they need time to think over our relationship. |
t3_1ybzw4 | offmychest | The concrete shit | On the 7th-9th Feb, we took about 110 university students on a weekend away to get away from work and just have a chance to chill. We went to this really nice manor house type place. The coaches got delayed a couple of hours due to traffic, but everyone had plenty of doughnuts and other snacks to keep them occupied so apart from that, the whole weekend went pretty well.
With 2 hours of us arriving, we discovered the mother of all skid-marks in one of the lad's toilets. It must have been the excessive amounts of slimy, greasy snack food that did it. This was like nothing I've ever seen and gained the nickname that's in the title "The concrete shit".
It was the same colour, (and as we later found out, pretty similar consistency) and was smeared into a long, fat, square shape all along the bottom. It was seriously impressive and we all had a good laugh about it. Until it came time to clean it up before we left.
Good Lord, it took ***2 hours*** of near constant bleaching, scrubbing and flushing to get what remained of this inhuman turd off the bottom of the basin.
2 days ago we had a team debrief to discuss how we thought the weekend went, what we thought of the location, how the scheduling went etc... And the concrete shit took a whole 10 minute slot to itself as obviously none of the females knew about it at the time.
The reason I'm posting is a confession. I did the concrete shit.
I had to try so hard to not laugh my ass off the whole meeting on Monday when it was brought up.
I'm sorry Luke, that you had to spend 2 hours cleaning my skid-mark in all it's glory. I'm sorry that I didn't find out how long it too to clean until after we got back. But at the same time, I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with it. You're a hero, and I plan to secretly make it up to you later! | Took a shit that was basically concrete. It took 2 hours for someone else to clean. Laughed my ass off since I found out. |
t3_2bmokq | jobs | What are some good jobs where you work with somebody? | I'm a social person and right now I work as a cable guy and we work on our own. I'm looking to get a new job because honestly I'm not a huge fan of this job and I'd like to work with somebody. I did a little carpentry in the past and it was really fun building stuff with somebody else. I'd like a job where I work with a team or with another person. I'm also reallly good in leadership positions so when I do work with a team I often take the lead and that's something I enjoy a lot.
But anyway, my main skillset is in IT, but unfortunatly I could only go to college for one year for financial reasons so I only know a little bit of the basics. I don't really have any other skills. I was in the Marines for a bit but I didn't learn any useful trade there.
I live in Ventura, California, for reference. I'm 21/m. I just need to make 1700 a month while I study at night until I can do something better. | What are some good entry-level jobs where you work with other coworkers. I don't like working on my own. |
t3_3aeuqh | tifu | TIFU by going out with friends [M] | So this happened more last night, but still fresh in my memory somehow. I don't usually go out much nowadays, have two jobs, usually getting home around 9 at night, but my roommate finally convinced me to go out with her to her friends house for some drinks.
We decide to ride our bikes over, about a 20 minute bike ride there, moving at a decent pace. We get there and we start having a good time, drinking and playing king's cup. Apparently our friend making drinks is a bar tender, so I couldn't taste the drinks at all, a very dangerous situation by far. I get pretty drunk, and decide around 1 in the morning that it was time to head home. I say my goodbyes, and head out.
When I get to my bike I reach into my pocket for the key and discover it's missing. Being that I was drunk I waved it off, and started walking home, a nice couple miles.
Wake up this morning wondering where my bike was until I looked at my phone history, and sure enough it all came back. | Went out with my friends for the first time in a while, got drunker then I wanted to, and now have to find a way to cut my bikes u lock. |
t3_1kz79k | relationships | I[19m] am having a very stupid time trying to break off with my [20f] gf of 1.5 years. | My girlfriend and I have been in a terrible rut for several months now and we've been trying to work at it but it's going nowhere. Now that school is starting up, I feel the courage to break up with her knowing that I will have a better social life that will help with my hurt feelings. This is very selfish of me to keep this thing going and we have tried to break up before but I was weak and wanted it to go on longer. Now she has no time for me anymore with her work, friends, and school will start soon.
I have also been having dreams for several months now of me almost cheating or actually cheating on my girlfriend. I am a very loyal boyfriend but I suppose this is wish-fulfillment trying to tell me something? I feel incredibly guilty when I wake up and still very relieved that it was just a dream. These make me feel like shit and I'm wondering if I should tell her about them?
I feel like our relationship hit rock bottom and now we're on our way back to less-bad but still bad, and I just feel like I'm in a relationship with diminishing returns. The amount of time I spend with her further will certainly not change the way she feels towards me and the way I feel towards her. Her feelings towards me are that of being naggy for asking for more time with her (we live 20 miles apart and she saw me once in the past 3 weeks, is this too little like I suspect or is she just being distant on purpose?)
What mental exercises can I do to help myself get over her and break it off once and for all? I feel like a coward and I feel like an asshole for keeping this up for so long. Just that we have nearly broken up many times before makes this feel like I'm beating a dead horse and I wish it could be as easy as cutting a rope and walking away, but apparently I have to linger with this. She feels like a burden now, and neither of us deserve this relationship. | School is starting again and I finally want to put an end to a rotten relationship. Also had dreams of cheating on my ex and I feel terrible about it. Can you help me get into the mentality of doing it? |
t3_4y20tw | relationships | [30 m] After being cheated on 4 years ago (I broke up with her) I have become a very jealous person in my new relationships and I want to stop it. How? | 4 years ago I ended an emotionally abuse relationship, where my girlfriend at the time was constantly cheating on me while I was on business trips.
I think my whole mindset on relationships have changed, and no matter how understanding and supporting of my insecurities my new girlfriends are, I still am a jealous person.
I'm always asking where they are, how many guys are there, if they are being hit on, who is hitting on them etc. And it's hurting development of my newest relationship and I want it to stop. I can already see her pushing away (it's been 3 months)
Before the cheating I was very laid back and not the jealous type at all, and now today I feel like a monster sometimes. Do you have any advice on how I can curve these feelings I'm having? | me being cheated on is haunting my new relationships by me asking too many jealous type questions all the time, and I want to stop. |
t3_28elhm | relationship_advice | Ending a relationship with an incoming baby. I dont know what to do. | I was on a relationship but started to realize that i dont want to be with her anymore. Before we breakup i wanted to make a pregnancy test because she does not had her period. It turns she had 3 months of pregnancy.
Now, I want to be with the baby, but not much with her. Im paying the bills from the doctors and everything.
I dont trust her. She once cheated on me and it broke the confidence in her.
I met a girl, turns out she's my neighbor, and i think she's very cute, she has those things that i was looking for in a girl. Also, she knows about the baby and she accept it. She told me that she likes me.
I talked with my ex gf, and she said that if i keep talking with this girl, she would talk to my friends. Now, that pissed me off, why she would talk to any of my friends when there's a lot of men that aren't friends of mine?. I'm a very untrusting person. Now i think one of my friends is talking with her. Then i breathe, and realize that it doesn't matter, i dont feel the same for her. The only thing i want is she respect the baby.
Now, I do not know what to do. Can reddit give me an advice? | I dont know if i come back with my pregnant ex gf, or try something new with a girl that seems to be perfect |
t3_zwab4 | relationships | I (m/26) bought a gift for my gf(f/26) before we split up, it just arrived, should I give it to her? | First post was taken down, so I made a few minor changes, hopefully this one stays up.
We dated for 3 months and we ended our relationship recently. We decided that things were not working out and that we should just be friends (it was not entirely mutual, but we are both ok with how it played out and are glad we had some good times). It think our relationship ended very well and we have even exchanged a few casual messages since then wishing each other good luck in the future. I ordered the gift (a shirt) prior to the split up but it arrived after we split up. Would it be alright to mail her the shirt with a simple note saying something along the lines of how I ordered this prior to our break up and that I think you will really enjoy it so I still wanted you to have it? I do not want her to think that I am trying to get back with her or anything, it's just a simple gift. I should mention that I would like to get back with her, but that is not the reason behind this gift. How do you think I should do it, or not do it at all (since I would like to get back with her should I just not contact her at all)? | Broke up with girlfriend recently (good, clean break up) and a shirt I ordered for her just arrived, should I still send it to her? |
t3_4rph08 | relationships | Should I [17/m] ask a friend (who likes someone else) [17/f] out? Or at the very least tell her my feelings? | I have been close friends with this girl for about a year now, we talk everyday but I can guarantee that I am not in the friend zone because she talks to her other best friends about her crush (not in our circle of friends) but if I check our chat we literally have 0 mentions of the guy. We have talked about deep stuff every now and then.
I have thought of asking her out when we weren't close but all she said was "are you brain damaged to like me?" and nothing ever came out of that. So fast forward to our current situation, her girl best friend and her are extremely close and talk about other guys a lot (I notice) but I think she kinda supports the idea of us getting together because when my crush was taking a picture with my other guy friends her best friend said "I like this more" then pushed me to her and we took a picture together.
Lately I have suspected that she has been developing feelings for one of my close friends and I don't think I can handle such a thought. If I do ask her out, this will be my first attempt ever at asking someone out/ being in a relationship because my parents have been pretty restrictive on me having a girlfriend.
Any tips on asking her out as well as what I should do? Do note if I do ask her out and she says no, I think that's the end of our friendship. | Long time crush recently developed feelings for my best(?) friend and I don't think I can handle it so should I ask her out or no (take note this is my first ever attempt at something like this). |
t3_10gek5 | AskReddit | Have you came close to assaulting a coworker before? Almost arm barred someone today. | Coworker isn't a very pleasant person. Lets just say **she** (yes, I almost broke a woman's arm, eat it.) is called "Slinky" because people have to fight the urge to push her down the stairs.
Sends a couple tech emails to me, I respond with the solution back to her. This is our daily process. I never reach out to the customers. She comes in from a dentist appointment and yells across our office to come to her cubicle. I arrive at her cubicle. Escalation of voice ensues, along with an annoying index finger repeatedly jabbing me in my sternum. She is yelling about how these people had prior problems and she asked me to email them for her. I try to tell her I didn't notice she said that, interrupts me and continues the index finger jab. I walk away. She screams for me to come back (she is about 50, has a hood rat son, im younger, she tries to treat me like she would her son sometimes), I come back. She continues to yell and jab me in the sternum! I'm a super mellow dude, but her knowing I walked away to avoid any continued controversy almost made me blow my gasket. I honestly believe the universe saved me and her from being fired, because right before my peak she halted the finger jabbing and I walked off again. I firmly believe that if that finger landed on me again I would have snatched her frail wrist and attempted a flying armbar. | old lady tries to treat me like her son, yells at me for miscommunication along with finger jabbing to sternum, twice. envisioned snapping her arm like a twig. |
t3_54e1hj | relationships | I [34 M] want to break up with my girlfriend [31F] of 7 years; but it may ruin her | The thing is, she cannot afford to live on her own. She is financially dependent on me and has been for years. She also has horrible spending habits. She likes to talk like she has gotten it under control, and yeah, maybe it's not as bad as it was when we first met. But she is still spending beyond her limits. I pay most of the rent, the bills, etc. There's no way she could make it on her own.
The other problem is - while being together, in the first few years, a large focus was placed on bettering my career options. Sometimes this meant she had to work extra hours to pay bills while I was in school... and now I can't help but feel obligated to take care of her because of that.. I tried to get her to go to school, she took a few courses and dropped out.. and now she is still working a dead end job.
Also, let me make it clear it's not that I have to take care of her that I want to break it off with her, that's another story I don't want to get into.
The issue is I am afraid that if I were to leave her she would have a difficult time paying rent, bills, food, clothing, etc.
She has even told me that she would not know what to do with her life if she didn't have me to take care of her. I don't know how to proceed. She also doesn't have any family that could help her out. | Want to break up with my girlfriend but she has no education, works a dead end job, and financially isn't able to take care of herself. |
t3_31u9c3 | relationships | My [17f] Boyfriend [16m] Wants to Hang out with another Girl [16f] | There's a new girl at our school, who is in 2 different classes with my boyfriend. She sits next to him in one of them and over the past couple months they've become friends. They talk during class and outside of class they text pretty often, but they've never hung out outside of school. I let him text her and stuff, but I'm hesitant about them hanging out with each other. When I first found out about their friendship, I messaged her on Facebook in a non-confrontational way letting her know that he was my boyfriend and that I don't want her flirting with him or anything. She said their friendship is completely platonic and that she was aware that he had a girlfriend, she seemed nice and everything and everything was fine.
Then a few weeks ago she texted him while I was with him, I texted her back as him and carried on a conversation to see how she talks and what she talks about to him and if she tried flirting with him or anything. Later it came out to her that it was me texting and she tweeted something about jealous girlfriends, I asked my boyfriend to talk to her about that and next thing I know, her twitter is set to private. I sent her another message on facebook but she didn't respond.
Today she asked him if he wanted to hang out after school (tomorrow) and he said yea, and he told me and I said don't you think you should have asked me first, and we got into a bit of a fight. I hate what this girl has been doing to our relationship, we rarely ever had arguments until this stuff came up and I don't know how to handle it. He thinks that he's hanging out with her tomorrow, but I don't want to let him. At the end of our fight I basically said whatever then go hang out with her. I don't know if he's actually going to or not but what should I do? | My boyfriend is friends with this girl at our school and I don't approve of her, and she wants to hang out with him outside of school and I don't want him to but I think he might do it anyway :/ |
t3_2gim86 | relationships | I [26F] am growing increasingly concerned with my 13 year old sister. When should I worry? | Today my grandfather was admitted to the hospital. He thought he was dying. My 70yr old grandfather, recovering from stage IV lung cancer likely had a heart attack.
My mother, sister, and grandmother all went to visit today. I found this out while speaking to my grandmother on the phone, moments ago. She said that the entire time my sister was at the hospital visiting, she would not put her phone down.
Now don't get me wrong. I get it. People like their phones. But for fucks sake, her grandfather is very ill and hospitalized.
My grandmother voiced this concern today, along with telling me that she (my sister) failed tests at school and is too preoccupied with boys to think straight. BUT, she's 13. So, that's okay, right?
When do I worry? And, when I DO worry, how do I talk to her? How does one 'reach' a 13 year old? | My sister is 13, and very typical at that. I'm afraid for her future because all she cares about is her cell phone and the boy across the classroom. |
t3_4gprio | relationships | Ex boyfriend(but still close friend) seems more distant ? Help me 23/f him 25/m | Basically we broke up for the second time (he ended things for the last time last year) due to religion and culture difference that his parents didn't agree with..Muslim and I'm not (took a long time to get the real reason out of him).. He visited me across the water about 6 months ago and we ended up kissing a lot and being really lovable.. We were texting after the visit and I said we should set a boundary and cuddling leads to kissing so we should limit it to hugs..
So he visited again this weekend and it was very different..He was still waking me up holding me from behind and hugging in the mornings and we were still lying together chilling and cuddling but nothing really happened..was he either holding back or lost interest and moving on? He still seemed sort of lovable joking around and pinching me etc but it wasn't as intense as last time..its like he took my word for it and has set a boundary but I didn't like it cause it means things are totally different and I'm upset.. does it.mean he's moved on from me totally or was he possibly holding back? | ex bf was holding back more. .avoiding kisses and not as intense this recent trip..was he holding back or is he over it completely? |
t3_10dvfe | relationships | My girlfriend[F/20] don't want any intimacy with me [M/28] | We have been together for about 3 months. We haven't had sex yet, because she doesn't feel ready for it and i'm ok with it for the moment and I don't wanna force her. We just kiss and hold hands, when things start to get sexual and intimate she always tries to avoid it, she don't want to stay in my place for the night and it's been bothering me, i think it's normal to have some kind of intimacy in a relationship. Part of the problem is that she is shy and I don't really know how to handle that. 3 months of just holding hands and kissing just isn't enough for me, I am starting to think this relationship is going nowhere. She says that she feels great, but I'm not really happy, just frustrated. | Girlfriend don't want to get intimate and it's started to frustrate me more and more, not sure how to handle it. |
t3_4j4d86 | relationships | My ex-girlfriend [26F] came over because someone found my dog and my new girlfriend [25F] is mad at me [28M] now | My ex and I bought a house and had a dog together. We split up but ended things on pretty good terms, I bought her out of the house and she let me keep our dog. That was a little over a year ago. I've been with my new girlfriend for almost as long and she moved in just last month.
I wouldn't say that my new girlfriend is usually all that jealous, but she does seem to be a little uneasy about living in a house my ex and I bought and flipped together. She's made comments about how she doesn't like knowing that she's sleeping in the same bed my ex and I had sex in, made the same comments about the shower, things like that. She also wants to paint every room a different colour just so it feels like her home which I'm okay with. Otherwise she never makes the typical jealousy comments about other women so her reaction surprises me.
Yesterday my ex-girlfriend showed up with my dog. The dog jumped the fence and had wandered a fair ways away without me noticing, someone called her since her number was on the tag, and she didn't have my new cell number to contact me, so she got the dog and brought him over. She stayed over for a bit to catch up. She left when my new girlfriend got home. New GF is very upset that my ex was over. She said she isn't even sure that she believes that my dog got out. I also only had on basketball shorts because I was running before and she seems to think that I was trying to turn my ex on by wearing that and being shirtless. She seems completely convinced that I cheated on her or am planning to. She said even if I'm telling the truth, I should have asked my ex to leave after dropping off the dog, not answered the door wearing what I was or at least should have changed before talking to her.
She keeps crying because she thinks these things and I was trying to reassure her but now I'm just annoyed. I really don't think I did anything wrong but maybe I just can't see her side so I'm looking for an outsider's perspective. | My ex dropped off my dog that got loose, girlfriend thinks I cheated or will cheat based on what I was wearing and doesn't believe the story |
t3_1buaat | AskReddit | What would you do in this situation? | You've been in a relationship for almost 2 years, but for at least the past 2 months you haven't been happy. You care about your significant other a lot, and you put in a lot of work to make things work, but lately, you feel like you haven't really been feeling they have been returning that favor. You also recently discovered your significant other was lying about their actions behind your back, and you've met a really cool new person who you could totally see yourself being with, yet you don't want to lose your current partner because you do still really care. What do you do? | You're unhappy in your current relationship, but you still really care about the other person and don't want them out of your life. What do you do? |
t3_vjqqo | AskReddit | Men (and women) of reddit: When you give a girl a compliment on her appearance, how often is it sincere vs. bullshitting? | My friend is super suspicious of anyone who compliments her (in general, but particularly on her appearance). She generally assumes there is a hidden agenda, or that the person is actually a jerk (e.g., that scene from Mean Girls where Regina George compliments the bracelet that's "So retro!" and then says it's the ugliest f'ing thing she's ever seen).
So I ask you ladies and gentlemen of reddit, how often are you sincerely complimenting someone? Do you ever compliment someone on shoes/dress/etc. that you actually hate? If you have a hidden agenda (e.g., flirting, wanting something, etc.), what is it?
I will be tallying the results for science (SCIENCE!!!) and (hopefully) attempt to show my friend the world is not plotting against her. | When you compliment someones appearance, how often are you telling the truth vs. trying to get something? Results will be tallied for science. |
t3_2rdzmm | relationships | Me [20F] with my now ex-boyfriend [20M] of basically four years, dumped out of the blue. | Throwaway because he knows my real username.
I have been with this guy since I was 16, we were coming up on four years, and he just broke up with me New Years day(YES, I know we are both so young). He was my best friend and being with him for so long I haven't made any of my own friends so I am looking to Reddit. I am not asking for answers, he made it clear as to why he did it.
I just need to know what to do to move on. I will be starting at a four-year college this fall and have no time to travel with my heavy spring semester. I want to get away but I don't know how or even where to begin, I have been held back by him this whole time and haven't been able to experience anything. I don't have the money to get too extravagant, I guess I'm just wondering what it takes to get past this (aside from time). I want to hear anything you all have to say, I am an open book as well and ready to answer whatever questions may come.
What do you recommend? | My boyfriend/best friend of almost 4 years just left me out of the blue, what can I do to move on? |
t3_4aq52g | relationships | My friend [26F] of 5 years is getting paid to write dissertations for international students. Should I [20F] report her to her university? | A friend of mine is currently in school for her masters degree. When I spoke to her yesterday, I was surprised to hear that she's started a business writing dissertations (not just papers, but dissertations!) for other grad students. Her clientele is largely international students who pay her thousands of dollars per dissertation, and she's recruiting more writers to help her. | My friend is getting paid to write dissertations for international students. I want to report her, but it could destroy her life. What to do? |
t3_31gfvu | relationships | Should I [18M] clear everything up with my friend? [17F] | Hello everyone!
So I have a good friend of mine, her and i have known each other for over 3 years and it's only since the past year. That we've started hanging out more. We have lots in common and can talk about basically anything! I think of her really as my little sister.
Anyway, yesterday i decided i would invite her to my formal (Prom) just as friends. She said yes (yay! :D ) and the rest of the day we just hung out. However, when i came back home. I saw a Facebook message from her saying that she only wants to go as friends and that she likes something guy etc etc. I read this confused because i only view her as a friend and I think i may have given off different signals?
So I might be seeing her later this week and i was wondering if i should pull her aside and say that i only see her as a friend and nothing more. Just to clear everything up, if not. What should i do? Thanks in advance! :) | Asked a friend to prom/formal as friends. She said yes, she thought i was wanting something more. Should i clear this up and tell her i only see her as a friend? |
t3_2piwkw | relationships | I[19 M] am not sure what to tell my depressed brother[22 M] | Here some backstory: My older brother went to university a few years ago, and along the way has switched his degree/ life plan many times. He is finally in his last year and will graduate next semester with a film degree, however he tells me that he is feeling depressed and unmotivated about it. He is not doing well in his classes and he is also upset because he feels like he can't find a girl who is right for him. He just got out of his second major relationship, and he has never felt confident with girls growing up.
I know that he wants to do film and he has a passion for it, but he has not yet taken initiative on trying to make his own movies, esc. My parents are frustrated with spending so much money for his schooling, and he is aware and feels very bad.
I have looked up to my brother my entire life and hate to see him like this. He is such a kind and caring person, and I'm really worried bc he seems to be getting more depressed.
What can I tell him to make him feel better/ what would be some good advice to give him? | My brother is getting very depressed and is unsure what he is doing with his life (university and girls). What do i tell him? |
t3_2fgivv | relationships | Not sure about age gap between SO and I.. | I've never really been able to relate to people around my own age (16) and any relationship I've had with someone around my own age has ended badly. I've known him for a year through mutual friends, and we've been talking since June but only hung out a handful of times. I've met his friends and they seem to like me, and he's met some of my friends. We get along and share common interests and worldviews. I believe we have similar maturity levels although I know he's much smarter than me. Its refreshing to have intelligent conversations about common interests, though, since no one I've met before seems to be able to do that. When we hang out we literally sit and talk for hours. About anything and everything. I know he's not in it for the sex like most would (rightly) presume, and I'm not severely infatuated with him and going to get my heart broken. I'm very careful with who I lend my heart to. If I wasn't I probably wouldn't be writing this post. He's 23 and going back to college to pursue a different career. | I 16F am inetrested in 23M and want le reddits advice. The age of consent is 16 but I'm still a minor. |
t3_3vcen7 | personalfinance | MIL with early Alzheimer's financed a car at 55%. Any idea how to get her out of it? | I would appreciate any advice.
My MIL purchased a car on 10/27/15. Sticker price plus tax and tags=$24, 855, and financing=$13,745. She has undiagnosed/undocumented early alzheimers. I do not think she was taken advantage of, necessarily. She is with it enough to seem mentally okay out in public. But now that we are helping her with her bills, we are discovering some strange and poor choices. The most costly of which is this insane interest rate.
The car was purchased in Georgia. Now that I have read the fine print, it is clear that there is no "cooling off period" for Georgia. And we are past 30 days, anyway, if that makes a difference.
We are not in Georgia; she is staying with us in DC for a few weeks while we help her transition to her new place. She doesn't have any information about the loan with her. She says the payment book is being mailed to her Georgia address. Hopefully they will be forwarded (we have already changed her address with USPS), but until then, I have no account number or anything to try and access the terms of the loan online. I only have the terms of the sale, which lists the financing amount, monthly payment, and that it's for 5 years. Other than that, I am lost.
Tomorrow I am going to call the dealership and see what I can learn. But this is a $14,000 mistake. I would love any suggestions about how to get out of the loan, get rid of the car, ANYTHING.
[Another detail: She can comfortably afford to pay for the car in cash. Which is why this is strange. So if the solution involves getting rid of the car, buying another outright is no problem. And yes, her driving AT ALL is a little scary. One battle at a time.]
Thanks so much. | My MIL with diminished mental capacity financed a car at 55% APR and we want to get her out of it. Thanks again for any advice you might give. |
t3_192taf | Parenting | Would you allow someone you never met to watch your 10 year old for the night? | Last night I ended up watching some 10 year old kid I never met. My fiancee's sorta-friend's friend's kid. She doesn't know the parent. I don't know the parent, we had never met the kid before, yet somehow it was okay for her to spend the evening with us.
She was going to stay the night at the fiancee's friends house with her son and no supervision for the night (both are around the same age) but when my fiancee found out she said they could stay at her place. There was no emergency or anything like that, the mom is just in a different part of town.
If I were a parent, I'm pretty sure I would never allow this to happen, but maybe this is way more common than I think? | we watched a kid last night that we never met before and never met the parents. Would you allow your kid to end up in this situation? |
t3_3ja0wj | jobs | Internal Job Board Has New Job I Want-- Not Sure If Fully Qualified | I have been working for the past two years as a senior analyst for a major fashion company. I have lead two different project teams, and have been identified as a key player in our current organization for solutions (basically people come to me for problem solving, whether it be systematic or process based). My current job is considered "Professional" level. I had 4 years experience before I started, so its above entry level and associate level.
The job I want is significantly higher in level than "professional". The job is a director level position in customer service. If I applied for it, I would be a senior analyst applying for a job two layers above where I currently am in the organization (next layer above me is manager, then sr mgr...then director). Difference in our current setup is customer service has no senior analysts...so its not exactly apples to apples. Customer service typically grooms their associates directly into managers, who then go onto senior managers.
I've worked with both the current directors of customer service extensively over the past two years; and both have a ton of experience at my company. Both have almost 10 years here, while I am just at 2... but this is the only place theyve ever worked. Add up my total experience and I'm at 6 years, which I do not think is unreasonable to be "director" level. How would you approach applying to this job? If I truly wanted it, and I very much do, should I reach out to the current cust svc directors and get their feedback? I dont think they would consider hiring me below director level because there is at least one existing senior manager... so that wouldnt make much sense. | senior analyst 2 "tiers" below job posting, want advice on how to approach it / should i apply for it? |
t3_3jenj6 | relationships | My[37F] daughter[12F] has a school assignment to write a comedy skit screenplay. Her TV writer father[41M] read the script, disapproved of it, then ripped the script into shreds | My daughter has a school assignment for English on satire, which is writing a 5-20 page screenplay for a short comedy skit. Her father was a TV writer, who still has an interest in comedy writing. He was excited to hear about our daughter's assignment and could not wait to read it.
That was 2 weeks ago. Yesterday, she printed the completed script out and handed it to her father to read it. He became visibly disappointed, then, from my room, I could hear shouting coming from her room. When I went in, I saw him ripping the script up into pieces, then forcing her to delete the file on the computer of which she typed the screenplay on. I tried to stop him, but he repeatedly told me to back off. Daughter became visibly upset, and stayed at the bed for the rest of the night. I stayed with her and she told me he shouted at her, calling the script's jokes "dull" and "tiring," and that it was "not even mediocre". This was a complete shock to me; he has never acted this way before, nor has he taken things this seriously. He has barely talked to our daughter since, and I am very worried.
I have not read the script myself (due to it being destroyed), but i don't think it should be at a professional level to be ready for a school submission. I talked to him later that night, and he told me that it was "proper criticism" and that it was necessary and justified, confused as to why I am mad.
My daughter is still very upset, and has to rewrite the screenplay. I don't know what else to do, and I fear that any possible work in the future may be greeted with this response from her own dad. I need help convincing him that he is overreacting. Thanks | Daughter has school assignment of writing comedy screenplay. Her father, who was a TV writer, did not find it entertaining or funny, and destroyed the script. He angrily left right after. |
t3_19odeh | BreakUps | My ex [20F] and I [19M] have kept having casual nights together and now she wants to go back to having a relationship. | I was with my ex for a year. Throughout the relationship I constantly worked on improving every aspect of my life because I didn't feel like I measured up, whilst she essentially became completely dependant on me. She started ignoring her friends, became moody towards her family stopped going to the gym etc. In the last few weeks of the relationship one of her few remaining friends introduced her to tarot and that's where our relationship took a nosedive -- up until then I hadn't noticed a change in her, I ignored my friends warnings and I genuinely thought we were happy. After refusing to let my life be ruled by pieces of paper that I wasn't even allowed to touch she dumped me and complete idiot that I was I came back every time she wanted a shred of attention. Now, I don't want to go back to her when she feels like it, how can I tell her without making myself seem like a douche and losing all of our mutual friends? | Ex dumped me because magic cards told her to, finally grown a backbone but want to be as grown-up as I can manage. |
t3_37ojx4 | relationship_advice | Feeling rather helpless... [22M] | About 6 months ago me and my girlfriend broke up of 7.5 years about. Wouldve been 8 in april. Met a new girl [23F] (I am the kind to fall for girls quick. Me and my girl broke up before for a bit and again I found another girl prior. This was about 3 years ago but that is besides the point.)
Okay so I met a new girl who had also broken up with her boyfriend. But she is getting back with him.
I just feel helpless because every girl I am talking too in that stage of a relationship (Hate this stage) has either an ex who is in the wings of winning a girl back, or she was interested in someone else before I came into the picture.
I am batting a solid 0-2 right now, and my confidence just feels shot. And yes, I am improving myself hitting the gym, working on my career with job interviews and such. I just feel so helpless with woman at this point in my life and I am the relationship/Long term kind of guy. I don't need to hear to I'm beta bullshit (sorry some people say this and its annoying) cause I am not. I know what I want, I make my intentions known, these girls make me hang around then tell me after talking to them for 5-6 months that they either are going back to their ex or to another guy who they were talking too.
Just a helpless individual. I just want to meet this girl of my dreams and both of them have let me down. I do not wanna sound desperate but I feel its the only thing I can feel right now:/
I just idk anymore....
Need an uplift or a hard dose of reality. Either or would be appreciated thanks guys | Every girl i've talked/dated/seen for 5-6 months after my ex girlfriend either goes to ex boyfriend or to another guy who she was talking/dating/seeing too prior to me getting in the picture with her. |
t3_4kka0o | Advice | I wanna go back to school. I don't know where to begin. | So, I've been thinking and thinking and thinking. I wanna finish school currently I have no diploma or GED. I work at a office doing help desk work.
I don't speak to any of my family, nor do I receive any help from them. I make about 1500 take home.
Realize I went the path of working with technology because, it was something I kind of just had a knack for but, in reality was just diluted by you need to make X amount of $$ instead of actually wanting to do the things I dreamed as a kid before being influence by social status and such.
Where do I begin? I will be moving out to a home with several other college students "to surround myself with others who are trying to achieve more knowledge.". They'll be complete strangers. I want to spend the summer leading up to fall quarter to either acquire a GED or Diploma. Which, ever is quicker to be honest. I only need about 2-3 whole credits to graduate HighSchool but, it seems when ever I talk to a college about taking adult high school classes it would take 2 quarters maybe even 3 to get those credits. I feel like I don't wanna wait that amount of time I want to just get straight into GED or something that I can do in a month so I can then Start Classes in fall and stop wasting time. This would also give me enough time to reflect on my life some more and Figure out what I actually want to do.
Right now I'm intersted in space, always amazed me and question my own thoughts about how black holes work. I also have always wanted to help the enviroment study animals specifically wild life.
Anyways, the | of it all is where do I get started? What would you suggest? I don't really know how loans work and such and I can only get federal loans if I have a GED or a diploma. |
t3_14pls0 | relationship_advice | I (21F)have PTSD and am physically unable to have sex with my bf(22). What do I do? | I was raped in April of 2012 and it was a situation where it happened while I was sleeping. I have been with my bf for almost 3 months and things were going great. However, recently a couple of things happened that triggered a PTSD episode, (I was touched while I was sleeping in an innocent way but it was still triggering) and now whenever I try to have sex with my boyfriend, I tighten up so that I physically can't, and it hurts a lot. I haven't had success in the past with rape counselors, and don't know how long this feeling will last for. I am scared to see him and deal with the awkwardness. He comforted me a lot, but I feel bad taking when I don't have much to give right now- I am kind of a mess. Should I let him see other people while I figure myself out? | When I try to have sex with my boyfriend I am unable to because of past trauma. How should I handle this? |
t3_46jp57 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my housemate [55 M] 2 months, Wifi problem with harassing/abusive housemate | My housemate is a huge pain in the ass, because everytime I talk to him he just wants to dominate the conversation and argue. In addition, he's cynical and hateful.
He uses the microwave very often (4-6 times/night) and it causes a internet outage for the duration, which I've told him many times. I asked him whether all his devices are wifi-capable, because he currently has them plugged in and his computer desk is in the common area. Without his consent, I unplugged his ethernet from the router and moved the router to a spot without much microwave interference, because I was fed up with his not caring about internet outages for me and another housemate. The other housemate and the landlord agreed that moving it to a less interfering spot is a good choice. On his arriving home, I told him again about the microwave problem and that I moved the router, and he got angry and said he didn't "give a shit and I don't believe you", and some more insults. I moved it back in hopes of discussing it later, but things escalated, he threatened me with violence, and I called the police then.
Any ideas on the best way to move the router? He's continually harassing me now, even though I told him to get out of my face and the police suggested compromising. He's the only one who uses the microwave, he keeps all his shit lying around in the common area, including a computer desk & printer, which I'm planning to tell him to get out. | Abusive housemate + leaky microwave = dead wifi & escalating tension. Any advice on how to deal with this situation better? |
t3_3jwxb5 | tifu | TIFU by wearing loose fitting boxers | This happened around a month ago but it haunts me every time I think about it. So around a month ago a friend and I decided to go to the gym. Things were a bit rushed and I didn't have much time to get myself sorted before leaving for the gym so I was wearing loose boxers, instead of the tight fitted Calvin Klein's that I usually wear.
Fast forward to the gym changing room and there's me, my friend and my friend's dad (who decided to come along). So I'm talking to my friend and I'm not really concentrating as I'm taking off my trousers. And you know how when you take off your trousers and usually one leg is off the ground while stepping out of the trouser leg? And you know how sometimes you feel like your testicles are going to make a surprise appearance? Well, this exact thing happened to me. I went to take my leg out of the right trouser leg and as I raised my leg, my lose fitted boxer shorts allowed one of my bollocks to dangle out and say hello to the world.
Unfortunately, it wasn't just my friend who saw. His dad had made eye contact with my hairy bollock and was trying SO hard not to laugh. It was more funny than embarrassing but if you've experienced something like this then you'll understand how awkward it feels. | was getting changed and my left testicle decided to slip out of my boxers and say hello to my friend's dad. |
t3_1k4ly9 | relationships | Why cant I [22M] ever committ myself to a relationship? She is a [20F] | So I met this girl and went out with her a few times. I like the connection and her taste in music. Shes really cute and nice, and super in to me. Ive stood her up twice and she is still wanting to hang out.
But she seems to want to hang out all the time, wants me to come by her work and buy shoes I don't need or want. Here I am just wanting to still be myself and do what I want without the pressure of going to go see her cause she wants, etc. Am I messed up? | been single for 2.5 years, found a suitable girl, but cant bring myself to commit and move the relationship...why? |
t3_3ib6og | relationships | I [27 M] am thinking about dating sister [22 F] of girl who I was interested in. | So to give some background, I [27M] have never being in a relationship or have gone on a date before. I grew up in a small town church where everyone pretty knows each other. After growing up in same groups and spending a lot of time with Emma [26F], I developed strong feelings for her, however, I did not make any moves or told her about how I feel. In the end she ended up dating another guy and got engaged, which I am still somewhat sad about but has accepted.
Recently, her sister, Anna, [22F] has shown signs that she is interested in me. I am considering pursuing a relationship with her, but am worried about how to approach this. I feel that if this relationship were to advance, I would eventually have to tell her that I had feelings for her sister, which may make things awkward. I would also always be comparing her to her sister, who I was attracted to. I should also mention that from what I see of others, it's not uncommon for people tie the knot after dating for just 1-2 years around here, so it could get serious really quickly.
So, should I not say anything, bring it up right away, or wait until later on?
To conclude, I don't know what I am doing and would appreciate some opinions, since I have not shared this (nor anything personal really) with anyone before. | I am thinking about dating a girl of sister who I was interested in. Need some advice on how to approach it. Thanks to all who contribute! |
t3_22c6dk | relationship_advice | (21/f) My boyfriend (22/m) went for coffee with another girl and lied about it | I recently found out that my boyfriend of four years had lied to about going to coffee with an old friend(female). They hadnt seen each other for years, met randomly at a bar and went for coffee the next day. I asked what my boyfriend did that day, and he lied to me saying he had stayed home all day. When I found out two months later, my boyfriend sort of apologized but also blamed me for it, saying I would have been jealous. Now, I know this girl from a few years ago - she blatantly hit on my boyfriend in front of me, touching his thigh with me right there. With that said, she was extremely drunk when that happened. Now, I demanded to see my boyfriend's messages with this girl to prove that he wasnt hiding anything, but he had deleted most of the messages so I wouldn't see them, except the ones from a few days ago. One message in particular bothered me: "I can't sleeeeeeeep:(", from her. Late-night text messages like that seem a bit flirty to me, but maybe I'm overreacting. I'm not sure what to think; deleting text messages seems really dodgy to me, he constantly tells me I'm overreacting. I feel like I can't trust him anymore - he's only sorry he got caught in a lie. | My boyfriend went for coffee with an old female friend, lied about it, and had deleted all of their messages. Should I be worried? |
t3_14nsq9 | books | How does /r/books feel about co-authors? | I recently read [this article] about how many prolific authors are nowadays using co-authors to help them produce so many books, so they simply provide writers with a chapter outline and get them to flesh it out and then edit and stitch together the finished novel.
Personally, I don't have a major problem with this as it has been used since the days of Alexandre Dumas. However it annoys me that they don't reveal what was written by whom, as I remember I was aware of Dumas' use of co-authors when I read _The Count Of Monte Cristo_ and I was annoyed that I didn't know who wrote which parts - for example, I greatly enjoyed the chapters about his time in prison and yet I don't know who was responsible for such great writing and therefore I can't find further works from them. | I don't have a major problem with it, but I just wish they revealed who wrote what, so we could find further works by them if we liked it. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.