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t3_17y8tb | Advice | I'm angry and sad all the time and I don't know why. | I feel like I don't have many reasons to be this discontent with life. I have a bachelor's degree and very little debt, a stable job, I live with my parents and they support me, a wonderful supportive boyfriend and I'm currently working toward my dream career. On the other hand, I completely hate my job, the people there make me miserable, and I feel like that misery seeps into my every day life. I always used to counteract this negativity by reading uplifting articles on positivity, Buddhism, and other nice things that basically say to rise above it all. It's worked for a long time.
But not lately. Lately everything sets me off. I hate it when coworkers hover over me. I waste my time at work because I do everything so quickly. I feel like a big fish in a little pond. I'm trying to work on my skills to move into the job in my career path and it's driving me crazy that I'm not sure if I'm there yet, if I'll ever be worthy. I'm even getting ticked off at my parents, who I have a generally good relationship with. The only person I can talk to about this is my boyfriend, and even though he's the most patient man I've ever met, I have a deep and paralyzing fear that all my little outbursts will add up and he will leave me.
People have left me like that in the past. I don't want to burden him with my troubles, but everybody else I feel comfortable talking to has their own, REAL problems—dealing with depression & bipolar, dealing with a mother dying of cancer, etc. My boyfriend thinks I have depression or anxiety but I don't want to believe that. It's just not that bad enough for me. And yet here I am, wanting to strangle myself at work, avoiding talking to my boyfriend so I don't infect him with my sadness, crying myself to sleep and generally feeling like a waste of space.
I hate that I wrote so much about it, I don't feel like I'm worth all this. | There is nothing majorly wrong with my life and yet I constantly feel like shit. Reddit, how can I stop being so angry and sad all the time? |
t3_1ufdty | relationships | How can I(mid-20s female) enjoy the moment more with my bf(mid-20s)? | I have realized that I fantasize a lot more about my relationship (2 years) than I actually enjoying being in it. Now, I love my boyfriend, and there is no one in this world that I love spending more time with than him. My problem is with physical intimacy. For instance, he'll usually initiate physical contact, like holding my hand - which I love - but after a few seconds I'll get really uncomfortable. Or he initiates a kiss with me, and I'll freeze up and wonder why I can't return the same kind of passion he's showing me; I have a lot of passion for him, but in the moment, I can't show it. Yes, I am a shy person, and he is not. But I do not understand how, after 2 years and all the intimacy we've shared, I still cannot let go and really show him how I feel. Many times I'll get the urge to kiss him or hold his hand, but can't bring myself to initiate anything for fear of making things awkward. The only theory I have is that growing up, I never saw my parents touch each other or show affection for each other. So, there's that. | I am shy and inhibited and have a hard time enjoying physical intimacy with my boyfriend. For the most part, showing affection makes me feel anxious and uncomfortable. |
t3_46e3no | tifu | TIFU by walking down in to my basement. | So my wife had to go to work early this morning so she woke up at 3:30 am. I usually don't wake up early when she does but today I did and I decided it's my day off and I will just stay up and enjoy my day instead of sleeping in like I normally do. Around 4 am she's getting ready to leave right when I get my cup of coffee ready. I kiss her goodbye and proceed to mossy my way to the basement (it's where I keep my computer and spend most of my time). the stairs leading down into the basement are L shaped and some days, like today, it's a risky corner. I managed to cut it just right but when I got too confident about the rest of the trip down these flights of stairs is when it takes a turn for the worse. First let me add that in my left hand is a freshly opened bag of nutter butter bites and in my right hand is a full cup of coffee and inside the coffee is the last amount of creamer in the house. Anyway, I make it past the turn and continue to the second half of the stairs when my foot slips on the edge of the step. at this point I knew disaster was coming and I tried to react by balancing my coffee so I don't lose it. I only made it worse. I threw off my whole equilibrium and lost control and left to the mercy of gravity. My feet glided across about three steps before my ass and back hit the steps behind me. My reflexes forced me to throw both hands into the air which launched my coffee somehow in every direction hitting the wall, floor, hair, shirt, and somehow inside my pant leg. The nutter butter bites took a pretty big hit also. I lost about 80 percent of the bag. even my phone flew out of my pocket. It was alot like this but with coffee in my hand [imagine my dumbass] . Even as I write this my ass is still tender. | Walked down the stairs with coffee and snax in my hand, fell down the stairs and threw my coffee in the air like I was trying to paint my walls mocha brown. |
t3_2uytn7 | relationships | My (22f) roommate and I (20f) are in a weird situation. Don't know if I should move rooms. | My roommate and I are both transfer students. Her family lives 10 minutes away and has a car so she is not there often, maybe 4x a week at nights. I don't have a car and live 2 hours away so I go home once every month or two.
She is quite rude. She forgets her key a lot and bangs on the door for me to open it for her at all hours of the night (happened for weeks).
She plays music over my music in the room.
She plays music while I am sleeping.
She watches TV on her laptop without headphones at night while I am sleeping.
She talks on the phone while I am sleeping.
She also brings guests to spend the night without telling me.
We are in a double, so two beds, one room.
I have tried to be cordial and not say much because she works and is tired, but one morning, I told her to please let me know if guests are going to spend the night. She attacked me and said I have personal problems and that I cause awkwardness by not speaking to her. It's not true because I used to ask her how her day was from work, but all I heard was her talking crap on the phone and to hallmates about me.
I asked her to tell me her grievances and she says, sometimes I keep the light on in the room until 12, and am typing on my computer at 11,12 t night but that there wasn't anything else.
I love my hallmates but my roommate and I will be in the room for 6 hours together and not talk to each other. Eventually, one of us just leave because it's so awkward and there's tension. I feel her attitude as she comes in.
We got into an argument, and since things have calmed a little, but there's still that forever awkwardness and when she is in the room, I don't want to be.
Should I move out of the room or just deal with it? I want to move but not lose my hallmate friends I guess. | Roommate and I have awkward tension, live different lifestyles and don't like one another personally so, should I stay in the room because I love my hallmates or move to a different room? |
t3_3pk1f9 | relationships | I [17 y.o.] have known a girl [17 y.o.] for nine years and I'm now interested in her. | There is a girl in my class that I have known practically my whole life. She used to be a very, very masculine tomboy but has recently had a HUGE transformation. She's started dressing in very cute clothes, acting very girly, and has been flirting around. Needless to say, I've started to become attracted to her. Along with her new appearance, she's started acting different too. She's very provocative and flirts around with many guys, which may be why I'm now infatuated with her. She definitely doesn't shun physical contact, in fact, she touches me quite a bit. She's even come up behind me and rested her head on my back and wrapped her arms around me. I can't tell if this is just because she flirts with everyone, or if she is interested in me. I don't know how to approach her since I've known her for so long and since she's made such a big change. Advice on my petty relationship problem would be much appreciated. | tomboy-ish girl that I've known for nine years has made a HUGE transformation and I'm suddenly interested in her. |
t3_sp69d | AskReddit | Struggling small business owners: what services/products do you currently lack that would greatly help your business strive? | I currently run a small local web development and consulting firm in Orange County, and I try to help out small businesses owners by offering discounted rates.
I know it's not much, but I try to do my part in taking back the economy. The economic top one percent of the population now owns over 70% of all financial assets in America. As corporate greed and corruption continues to grow, it's becoming clearer and clearer that something needs to drastically change.
This is why I ask you: what services/products do you currently lack that would greatly help your business strive? What tool(s) would your small business greatly benefit from?
I ask this because I am seriously considering dedicating my life to help out small businesses. I have seen too many families and friends struggle; I am absolutely disgusted by the current state of our country. My dream is to one day revolutionize the world by giving small businesses means to compete with the mega-corporations with seemingly bottomless sacks of money (crazy, I know! but nothing wrong with dreaming). Perhaps Reddit can start a huge project in which we can directly help out small businesses. | we need to take back our economy! what are some tools/services that would help you, small business owners, out greatly? |
t3_5072nc | relationships | Me [23M] with my ex-23G[F] of 8 months, texts me after breakup. Should I respond? | I initiated the break up with Allison 4 days ago. It was an extremely bad breakup (her being codependent) in which she wouldn't leave me alone. I had to get her parents to pick her up and even then, it was a struggle.
After 4 days of no contact, Allison texts me saying that there are a few things she needs to tell me. She said that she is getting help (therapy for being controlling, possessive, jealous, insecure) and whatnot, but there are other reasons for her reaching out to me... and she left it at that.
Irrationally, I clearly want to respond and see whats going on, be her friend and give her advice. The rational part of me says that if I respond, I'd be giving her false hope and not let her heal properly | exGF reached out to me after 4 days breakup. I'm not sure if responding to her is harming or helping her since her intentions are unclear |
t3_3houfm | relationships | My daughter (17F) is going to greater and greater lengths to see a boy (17 or 18 M) her mother and I have told her she is not to see. I am running out of ideas. | Up until earlier this summer, I really considered myself luck as a father. My daughter was always very intently focused on her schoolwork, and had her goals set on getting into a good college. I have never before had issues with her disobeying me or her mother.
But, earlier this summer she started seeing a boy in her class at school. I was a little surprised at first, because she honestly never seemed all that interested in dating prior. Still, I tried to be positive. I met the kid, I just can't like him. He plans on going into the Army after high school, as opposed to college. He isn't a high-achiever in school by his own admission. Practically everything about this kid is wrong for my daughter.
The first time he picked her up in his rust bucket car, I almost went outside to stop him, because it literally did not look safe to drive. When it got to the point where she was spending more time with this kid than at home, I told her she needs to tone it down. And when that didn't happen, I told her she needs to stop seeing this kid, because he is clearly distracting her from her goals.
I thought everything was okay at first. But I have recently found out that when she tells me she is going out with her friends, she is really going to see this boy. She is even sneaking out in the middle of the night when her mother and I are asleep to meet this kid.
I have no experience with any of this. I have no idea what to do. | daughter used to be a well-behaved, goal-oriented girl, but has been getting more and more disobedient after starting to date a bad influence. |
t3_1e5f84 | relationships | I told him(27) that I(22) loved him. | We've been together off and on 3 years. We recently broke up in Feb and got back together two weeks after. We've moved into a new apartment and I got a new job. Things have been great. He's been the sweetest, always telling me how good I'm doing and cuddling and things have felt amazing. I told him today that I loved him and he told me he's said it a million times before he knew I wanted him to say it back. But he didn't, he said he doesn't think he's there yet and he thinks we have different definitions for the word..
And I tried to not let it bug me, but all day I've been quiet and withdrawn because it does kinda bother me. I just wanted him to know how I felt, and it wasn't reciprocated.. Which is okay, I honestly feel good just having finally told him how I feel. It was like 7am and he said it was too early for him to want to talk serious. But all day he's been telling me he hopes I'm not mad and noticing my silence..
We went out to lunch and I tried to be more happy and stuff.. It's just hard after that. But, should I just get over it and let him take his time? I shouldn't be hurt by this right? Some people take a while. And I want him to mean it when he does say it, I don't want him to say it because it's what I want to hear. He hasn't acted differently. Same old sweet self all day long. | told bf I loved him, he said he isn't there yet. Should I be upset or does he just need time? |
t3_4b31br | askwomenadvice | Should I try to win her back or move on | Been seeing this girl a few times. At parties she always stood close to me and made eye contact.
Lately, I tried to flirt with her, but she keeps sending me mixel signals, or that she is going to do something with me, but in the end cancel the plans.
She said she has feelings for me but that she doesn't know if it is enough and wants to go out with me more.
I fell in love with this girl. I like her alot, we went to the movies and she invited me to her house. But the downside is she has so many guy friends and I get jealous of that fast... That last night was the last straw when she was talking to my middle school bully. I said I don't like that guy I don't want you to talk with him since he is a jerk.
She kept reminding me that it was a friend of one of her guy friends and that he couldn't try anything with a "winky face". I couldn't take it so I just asked if she was coming with me and she said no, which in turn I asked for a goodbye hug and she said "maybe later".
I texted her this morning to apologise and said I am sorry because I have feelings for her. I asked if she wanted to see me again which in turn she replied "No I don't think so... sorry :d"
I really don't know if she just is angry or joking around at me or if she doesn't want to see me again... I really don't want to lose this girl since she is so perfect in my eyes... but if she lost interest with me it's best to move on right?
Should I wait a few days before texting her again, or should I just move on? | Crush has alot of guy friends, I get jealous fast, got angry and went out of the party, doesn't want to see me again |
t3_4ishyv | relationships | I [36/m] took a coworker [22?/m] home on lunch break to help me grab some tools. Surprised wife [40/f] and she lost it. | So on lunch I realized I needed something from home and asked coworker to come along for the ride. When we got there I could hear my wife of 2 years blow drying her hair in bathroom, I called hello and she replied. I did not knock on door and tell her my coworker was with me, I went straight to garage and commenced rummaging. After locating the tool coworker and I walked back through house and found my wife had moved from bathroom to couch but was still blowdrying her hair. Upon seeing my coworker she immedietly mouthed a "what the Fuck" at me. I tried to play it off light and asked her what her plans were for the day, she gave the stink eye and silent treatment. So I walked over to give her a goodbye kiss to kinda smooth things but she resisted.
So basically she's mad. I was pretty humiliated in front of my coworker and since then it's turned into a massive argument including talk of divorce. She felt I should have warned her there was someone else there, which I realize now would have been the right thing but I also think her reaction and subsequent arguing is hugely out of proportion.
A few details. She's told all her friends she was in pj's with no makeup. They've said "punch him in head and divorce". In fact she was wearing sweatpants a tank top with a long cardigan over top. Her hair was dry and straightened and her complexion is really clear so I have no idea if there was makeup on or not. Her clothes were clean and not revealing. She looked fine to me. She is really insecure about her looks though.
I feel punishment isn't suiting the crime. Am I wrong? It's a MASSIVE argument atm. | surprised wife with coworker at home. She lost it and is talking divorce because she felt I should have warned her. |
t3_3fmz1c | relationships | Me [34 M] with 2 women [31 F] [34 F] of 1 year, I've been dating, but now it's time to choose... | I've been seeing two girls for about a year. Each relationship is getting to a point of seriousness where I need to make a commitment to each of the girls. The problem is, i love them both, and I'm not sure how to pick which one....when I sit down and try to feel it out, go with my gut, I don't feel differently about either. When I try to logically list things out, each is great. Part of the problem, is I know both of them are in LOVE with me, not infatuation, not well it was fun while it lasted, ending things would crush either girl....but I have to.
31/F - She is laid back and chill, she's very independent, has a large group of friends and a good job. We mesh well, she's easy to be with we are both nerdy she understand me. The sex is amazing, the best i've ever had. She can be sensitive, she can take things personally. She's never mean, but it's easy to tell when she's annoyed with you.
34/f - Also laid back and chill. She does not have a large group of friends, and she left her job in December to pursue other things but has not found employment yet. She also owns her own home. The sex is good. I can talk with her about anything, we can be open in a way I've never experienced and she's very adventurous which I value highly. She can be clingy, and neurotic, and she can be depressed.
I'm happy to answer questions, take advice, anything...I'm not even sure how to go about choosing let alone making the choice and breaking someones heart.
And no before anyone suggests it Polyamory is not an option. | I have two women I could see myself with the rest of my life, and I need help figuring out which one...or even how to go about picking which one should be it!! |
t3_3pdh5m | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of five years, living with a roommate [22 M] who likes to "close" the living room early at night, Am I wrong to be irritated? | Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been living together for the past few months, and it has been great, but starting to get annoyed with one of our roommate, Adam. Adam goes to sleep very early, at least by my standards, at 9:30 or 10 (sometimes even earlier), because he needs to get up early to do his schoolwork before going to work. I have no problem with this, but he claims that we need to turn off the light in the living room, because apparently it reflects off the mirror on his closet, and shines in his eyes. I wouldn't have a problem if we were watching TV and he was bothered by the noise, but this seems unreasonable to me.
My boyfriend (Craig) thinks it is completely fine and doesn't want to argue with him, but I want to use my living room at night! I like watching movies in that room, and I feel uncomfortable when I have friends over, and he comes into the living room saying "Hey Dana, I'm going to sleep soon, so yeah". Or if Me, Craig and our other roommate or a friend are playing a board game, he will come out if his room and say that he is going to sleep, and can we please finish up? if I argue with him or just stay up later, he gets all pissy and Craig will later talk to me about how what I'm doing isn't cool, and that Adam isn't happy with me. If Adam only did this on weekends, I'd be cool with it, but he expects this on weekends too! Since I've never lived with roommates before, I wanted to ask you guys. Am I being unreasonable? Is it unfair to want to use the living room late? How late is too late? Is it ok to watch TV in the living room later at night? Thank you, I'd appreciate the perspective. | My roommate wants everyone to leave the living room when he wants to go to sleep early, am I wrong to be annoyed? |
t3_3ossas | tifu | TIFU Changing a tire | My wife picked me up from work. When driving home she hit a curb by the gate code box. We realized there was a flat tire when we got out.
I came down to change the flat. The area behind my parking space is heavily trafficked so I tried to inch along to a clear area. I'm pulling through the gate and one side didn't stop closing. It hooked under my bumper. When I reversed, it ripped part of my bumper off.
I'm now stuck in the gate so I try to drive forward. The bumper goes under my tires and finally comes fully off. I pull off where I was intending and now notice both of my driver side tires are flat. I go to the trunk to get my jack to at least fix one flat, and part of it is inexplicably missing.
Already put in for the day off to more. | I'm a fucking moron who isn't going to work tomorrow because I physically can't. My car has no bumper and two flat tires. |
t3_4yxrn4 | relationships | Me [42 M] and my wife [36 F] are losing our shit; also 2 kids [1, 6] | Wife (36F) of 8 years and I (42M) are having a challenging time managing our lives - social lives, family lives, work lives, personal lives. We both work full time. We seemed to have everything under control with our first child (now 6), but with 2 kids - everything seems to have shit the farm. No time for friends, not enough hours at work, not enough time at home - basically chaos.
Childcare:
Our 1 y/o son is in daycare (7am-5pm) and our oldest son is now in 1st grade (7a-3pm). The six year old has a variety of after school activities and after school care, so we don't have to pick him up until around 5p from his activities.
With the 2 kids, we're not finding ourselves able to balance our needs at work, finding time to see friends, finding time for ourselves, etc. We do have grandparents nearby (about an hour away) and we see them about once per week. We have friends that have au-paire's but our finances and living situation (2 bedroom house) right now won't really allow for that.
**Right now we're physically and emotionally exhausted. Does it get better? What should we change? What are we not thinking of? Again - we were pretty solid with one, now just struggling with 2 and looking for guidance.**
Wondering what other folks have done to get their time working for them once they've had two kids. Particularly interested in what families with 2 working parents are doing. What do you do in the evenings? Weekends?
Happy to add context to this post as questions come in. | working parents are losing their shit with 2 young kids at home and too much to do; seeking advice from parents who've faced similar. |
t3_yc311 | AskReddit | HELP! Been finding dead mice out in the open all over my house and it's really freaking me out. What could be causing this? | My roommates and I live in Philadelphia, and unsurprisingly we have always had a mouse problem. Most of the houses in Philadelphia are of the iconic "rowhome" variety. Rowhomes are all connected, and are often very old. Naturally, because the houses are all connected, if one house has a mouse problem, all of the houses in the row will suffer in the same way.
The mouse infestation tends to peak in the winter, and has recently improved since the weather has been warmer. For the past few weeks however, we've been finding dead mice just lying out in the open. We've found about 7 or 8 in this manner and it's occurring more and more frequently. The smell of dead mouse is getting ridiculous, and searching daily for corpses is becoming really tiresome.
I've thought that maybe the neighbors have been putting out poison, or that maybe they're dying off from disease, but I hope neither is the case as I have a pet ferret who could die if he comes in contact with any poisoned or diseased mice (and they love to raid his cage for kibble). Anybody ever experienced this? | I'm finding dead mice out in the open all over my house and I'm wondering what the hell is going on for the sake of my health and the health of my pets. |
t3_2n7ttw | relationships | I [17F] found my underwear hidden in my brother's [14M] bedroom. What should I do? | I had asked my brother if I could borrow some money from his room and he said it was fine. But in his cupboard on top of the tin where he keeps his cash were two pairs of my panties (some of the more racy ones).
I confronted him about it later and he started shouting all manner of expletives at me and denying that he had anything to do with it, and that he wasn't a creep or a pervert. I spoke to my mum, and she just treated it as a "boys will be boys" incident and laughed, and didn't seem that bothered.
It really bothers me that he went into a private place of mine and took them, and regardless of that it seems pretty weird to take your sister's underwear! I understand boys that age are curious but your sister, really? | Younger brother is a panty-stealer, denies it angrily, mum doesn't care, what do I do? |
t3_3sde18 | relationships | My [25F] girlfriend wants us to go to bed much earlier than I [25M] prefer | My girlfriend and I have been dating each for a few months and things have been going pretty smoothly. However, we have been disagreeing about how to make time for each other. Before she met me, she was accustomed to going to sleep by 11 PM. But, since I've known her, we usually stay up together until almost 1am watching a show or talking about each others' days. In my industry, I usually don't get home until 10 - 11 pm. This has been working out for a while, but lately she is dozing off shortly after we meet up. We both get up at about 7am, so that I can drop her off at public transit. She commutes to school full-time and works part-time.
Bleh bleh bleh compromise? Idk. I do love her, but I feel like if we adhere to her schedule, we'll barely have time together. Is she justified in wanting to go to sleep so early? She isn't forcing me to go to sleep at the same time as her, but I like falling asleep with her. | Sleepy girlfriend wants to go to bed early; however, if we do then we have very little time to spend together. |
t3_z0yj4 | relationships | should i be concern? (21/f) (26/m) | my SO (26/m) is away for the week on a business trip. we talked for a bit for the first few days but i did not hear from him at all yesterday (no call, text, e-mail, etc...)
i am not paranoid or upset because i'm sure he's busy but even if he's busy, i'm sure he can squeeze in a quick "hello" if he wanted to. i don't want to contact him first because he might be working or doing something important and he knows that.
so i came to the conclusion that he was so busy with his work yesterday that he just did not want to talk to me.
with that said, is this normal for a relationship (we have been together for 3 months)?
with all my previous boyfriends, there wasn't a day that we didn't hear from each other so this is definitely new for me...
should i be concern that he is not that into me or not that interested in the relationship? i have to question it because if i were away for a week, i'd try my best to make some sort of contact with him everyday to let him know that i'm thinking about him.
if he's busy and thinks not talking all day is okay when you're in a relationship then i'd be happy with that. i'm just concern because i don't know if this is a bad sign... | bf of 3 months did not contact me all day while away on a business trip, should i be concern that he's losing interest or is just not that into the relationship? |
t3_40mmne | relationships | Someone who lives at my [20F] complex is in my assigned spot. At what point should I call to have them towed? | My apartment has assigned parking and it's in every single lease. This person has a parking pass so I know they leave here, but I have no idea where. I've seen them parked in my other neighbors spot lately, I didn't think much of it and figured one of my neighbors got a new car. They also are not supposed to be within 2 spots of mine left or right so I don't know how they made this mistake. Some, but not all of the numbers are covered by snow (mine is because I didn't move it for plowing at all) so I summed it up to an accident, but my car has been in its spot unmoved for a month until last night when I left for only an hour. Neither of the bordering cars had moved either. I left a note on their car in the nicest wording I could think of, but they haven't seen it.
If I go to management, they will tow it right away because the rules are so clear, they don't want to deal with people not abiding by them. However, it's been there since 6 last night, I need to leave for class in a little and I'm worried it will still be there when I get home, a time when the office will be closed again. My car is currently having issues and I can't have it decided not to start while it is street parked. I'm nervous that will happen soon, so I want to get my car back in its spot ASAP.
Should I go to management when they open around 8 am before I leave (it WILL be towed if I do this) or wait and see if the see the note and chance having to deal with this again tonight? | Someones car has been in my spot since 6 last night. Should I go to management and have them towed or hope they see the note I left and are moved by the time I get home, when the management office is closed? |
t3_h6e97 | offmychest | Room mate's crazy girlfriend | The background:
They've been seriously dating for about 5 months but have been on/off for ~16 months. She has a two year old and they have basically been living here for the past 2.5 months. Two weeks ago her apartment had a backup of sewage (think of several inches of shit/piss/water sitting in an a 1200sq ft. apartment) so she got out of her lease and only looks for a new apartment when she wants to piss my room mate off. And, she doesn't cook or clean, things which myself and my room mate do often. We make home-cooked meals almost every night. She also gets upset at him when he talks to his female friends on the phone. Some of who he has known almost his entire life. She is leaving on Tuesday to spend two weeks with her "baby daddy" across the country. She also has a separate phone which she only uses to communicate with the baby daddy. My room mate added a password to his phone and she flipped out about it this morning. After this, he had the epiphany that she is an asshole.
It pisses me off that my room mate is tolerating this shit. He is finally starting to see the light and claims he is going to break up with her when she returns from her trip. | Room mate's girlfriend is an asshole. He is only now starting to see the light and plans on breaking up with her soon. |
t3_13ldmx | relationships | How Do We Friend-Zone Eachother? [23M/23F friends for 2 years] | 23M/23, friends for about 2 years
So me (23f) and 23m have been friends for about 2 years. We have had a really great friendship which was until the past spring was completely platonic. We have both been in and out of relationships and there has always been a spark of something between us despite being able to hang out as friends and behave in a completely silly and non-sexual manner with eachother, we can communicate freely about anything and he has helped me through a lot of difficult spots in my life, we connect so well intellectually and musically. I'm strange and he is a weirdo, its been fun. Until one party in april we got too drunk and did the no-pants dance. Since then we can't seem to stop having sex. We go to a lot of concerts and party a lot (we have mutual friends -___-) and everything is great until we both somehow end up engaging in some sort of wild, sexual ruckus (drunk and sober). Since we both really enjoyed the intellectual/emotional part of our friendship yet both lack complete self-control we vow after each incident to not do it again, only to have a few weeks pass by until we are doing the horizontal shuffle again. This is probably the stupidest thing you guys have ever read but how do we friendzone eachother while we both can't control our sexual urges towards eachother? How do we go back to reading books with eachother and listening to records with our clothes on? Any advice reddit? | 23m/23f, friends for 2 years based on same intellectual/musical/lifestyle/mutual friends, now cannot stop having sex, how do we friend-zone eachother? |
t3_2f4vyo | relationships | Me [24 M] made a move on my friend's friend [22 F], now neither are talking to me, what to do? | I hung out with a friend (Lucy) of mine and her friend (Amy) 2 weeks ago. We spent the day together. Later that night my friend went home and Amy and I decided to watch a move at her place.
We ended up making out after the movie and quickly realizing it was stupid and neither of us want to be in a relationship with one another especially since she had her eyes on one particular guy. Later we decided not to tell Lucy and I went home.
The next morning I get an angry text from Lucy saying wtf would you do that. She was okay with me making a move on Amy, but in the context of me taking her out on an actual date etc. We texted back and forth and then she stopped replying. I called her today and no answer.
Is there any way to salvage both friendships? I still really like hanging out with them. | Friend upset that I made a move on her friend, despite telling me she'd be fine with it earlier, how to fix it? |
t3_1vl6ny | relationships | Me [23M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 2 1/2 years, uncomfortable with who she hangs out with. | Me (23M) with girlfriend (20F) of nearing 3 years, I've been out of the country for 8 months working and have another 4 to go, so this is currently long distance.
She and I have had issues in the past with her going to her guy friend's house and hanging out with him and/or the crowd who tends to be there. The first time it became an issue is when we had a Skype date planned in advance and she bailed to go to his house and babysit him because he dropped acid and called her because he had nobody there to take care of him in case it went bad.
The second issue was when she was there at a party and "had a moment" with his roommate. She promises me this consisted of just a long hug, and I believe her. Nevertheless, I considered it bordering on emotional/physical cheating as I have never met this guy.
She has been up front about both of these occurrences, I never had to drag anything out of her, although I did have to spend a little time explaining why they are such a big deal to me.
She's gone over a couple times since those incidents and we've fought about it each time. She decided to go over there this week some time and we had our worst falling out yet about it. Basically, she understands my reasons for not wanting her to go over there but still insists that she needs to because they are one of the very few groups of good friends she has (this is true).
So, which one of us is being unreasonable? I have what I consider to be good, valid reasons for not being comfortable with her going there, she understands these but wants to go anyway because they're her good friends. | I have what I think are a solid set of reasons and examples why the environment my girlfriend puts herself in is toxic to our relationship, she wants to keep going over anyway because they're her good friends. |
t3_1a1uz7 | offmychest | I'm dying do to poor choices I made in my early 20's. | In my late teens and early 20's, I really abused my body. I was doing a fair amount of drugs and a ton of drinking. It got to the point where I could drink a handle a day for weeks on end until my body just decided that it'd have enough and I'd go into severe alcohol withdrawal. The works: vomiting for days on end, sweats, seizures, insomnia, etc... Over the years the period that it took for this to happen shortened until it was just a few days. I did a few hospital trips to get fluids, came close to death, and was almost institutionalized against my will at one point. After throwing up blood, I had had enough.
Eventually, I decided that I didn't want to die an alcoholic and decided to change my life. That was 5 years ago and things had been going good until last year. I got into a bicycling accident and ended up having major surgery to fix my clavicle. With the 2 week waiting period for the surgery as well as roughly a month of recovery, the pain killers took their toll on my liver. Shortly after that, my insurance refused to renew their contract with me. And shortly after that, my liver started to fail me again. I've been to the hospital 6 times in the past 8 months from symptoms just like I had when I was an alcoholic, without the alcohol. Since I don't have insurance, I can't get all the necessary tests to figure out exactly what is going on. I have started throwing up small bits of blood, again, which is a very very bad sign. My energy is really low and if I can get what most people call a meal into my once a day, it's a good day. I've lost almost 50lbs in the past 2 months and fear that the end is near. | Drank way too much in my early 20's and I'm pretty sure my liver is failing, though I can't afford to find out. |
t3_2hm46r | Parenting | One and done but nagging thoughts about Baby #2? | Mom to an amazing 16mo son. He's the bees knees. Hard-won after a four year battle with infertility and IVF with (known) donor eggs. We'd always said we'd be one and done, for a lot of reasons: financial, emotional (bc IVF), we could just devote all of our attention to one child.
In the last week, I've been thinking a second might be nice. It's not that I'm bored with our son; I just don't want him to be lonely. I work from home, so it's the Mom and Baby show pretty much around the clock. Lol, if anything, he's gotta be bored with me! ;)
We have a few frozen embryos and my chance of getting pregnant with them is high, but based on some issues with my first pregnancy, would put me in the high risk category this time around (GD and a preterm birth). I'm just really torn. And before anyone says "just adopt" that's not off the table, either. We're just not at a point financially to drop $40k on domestic adoption right now after still recovering from $27k in fertility treatments. | any parents of singletons find themselves "craving" another baby and how did you deal or what did you ultimately do? |
t3_4i0tr3 | weddingplanning | FH shows little/no interest in any wedding planning | Hi wedditors,
My FH and I are so so happy to be engaged. I'll save you all from me assuring you that we're both very happy, extremely in love and absolute best friends.
We got engaged late March and we are getting married in December. We are having an engagement party in Late July. He works about 45 to 50 hours a week, I work about 25 hours a week and go to school part-time.
I have more free time to make phone calls and send emails and coordinate with vendors and friends and family so I'm happy to do that. I just want to feel like this is also his wedding and he doesn't just show up at the end. This is a really special time and I want to share and all these little moments and planning with him but it stresses him out an unbelievable amount and he seems to shut down. And it's not even all money, he just sees this as "a chore or homework" (he's an engineer too, so very analytical).
Our parents are paying for about 75% of the wedding, and we have money in the bank for the other 25%. We are doing a small ceremony with immediate family and a handful of friends. The engagement party is coming together seamlessly. I'm not even that stressed at all.
I have expressed all of this and more to him about how I wish he was more involved, I would like maybe an hour or two a week tops for him to help or review contracts with me or give me his opinion on invitations and he gripes and moans and rubs his head and acts so detached from it all. It's extremely hurtful.
Has anyone else dealt with this before, or have any advice for something that may sink in? We really communicate very well and he has been talking about marriage and a family a month into our relationship. This is everything we both want. I just can't seem to get him excited about anything yet.
Thank you all, any advice is appreciated! | FH feels like planning a wedding is homework that he doesn't have time for, and gets easily overwhelmed when I talk about it. All other communication in the relationship is great. Help? |
t3_3nqtp0 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my gf [21 F] of 3 years, she wants her own room. | We met 3 years ago and moved in together after 6 months. We live in an apartment with roommates and share a bedroom. She has always been someone who values her alone time and when she asks for it i give it to her by leaving our room for a couple hours. Recently, she said she'd like to have her own room. She feels like we spend too much time together and she needs her own space. She swears its not because she doesn't love me, but because she needs more alone time. We generally have a good time whenever we hang out (always laughing).
Is this regressing in a relationship? Is this a bad thing and should I be worried that she feels tired of me and the spark is dying? | GF moved in with me, we've lived together for 2.5 years and now she wants her own room. Is this a bad sign? (her own BEDroom) |
t3_hhewe | AskReddit | Do you have stories/experiences that didn't seem creepy when they happened but turn out to be in hindsight? | This is mine:
When I was 11 I was at a friend's birthday party. His little sister (8 or 9 years old) always popped up out of nowhere. I don't know why but she was really good at sneaking up on people and not being noticed.
After a while, she started following me around the house.
At first I thought it was kinda funny how I always forgot about her and then she was standing in the room looking at me. However, after a while it got really weird. We were playing games and stuff and she would just stand in the corner of a room and stare at me for a really long time. One time, I went to the bathroom and she quietly opened the door and watched me pee.
The creepiest thing was how she wouldn't face me directly. She would always face the walls and turn her head towards me (which made it look even more like something out of a horror movie).
After the bathroom incident I asked her what she wanted and why she was following me and she just said "I want you to film me". I had no idea what she meant (remember: I was 11 and she was 9, so it wasn't something dirty). She didn't say anything when I asked her to specify.
I didn't even notice how creepy that was until recently. I just found it incredibly irritating at the time. | A creepy little girl followed me around all day and watched me from a distance (even when I went to the bathroom). |
t3_1iegy7 | relationships | My ex-girlfriend is crazy. But, I'm kind of glad she is. TLDR at end | My ex-girlfriend who I dated for about 1 and half years broke up with me about a month ago. It was really hard on me at first, but I found that talking to other women really helped me cope with the process, and now I would like to believe that I'm mostly over her.
I recently just found out that she is talking to someone new. However, he is 4 states away, has a child, debt issues, and anger issues. (Me and my Ex are both 19 years old, and I found this out from one of her friends I'm currently talking to). Keep in mind, I always gave her everything she ever wanted, I was the "nice" guy. You know, those ones that aren't real?
Well, turns out. She wen't to a physic or something awhile back and she asked them if she was going to be with me for the rest of her life. Well, they said no. But they did mention the initials of the person they would end up being with. Lets just say those initials are JD (John Doe). Well turns out, the guy she is currently talking to 4 states away, initials are actually the initials the psychic gave her.
So, I guess she is going to believe that she is going to be with this guy for the rest of her life. A guy with Anger issues, a kid, and is not financially stable. The complete opposite of me. Is it bad that I hope it doesn't work out for her and it fails miserably so she realizes the terrible mistake she made?
Although one thing I know for sure, I'm laughing at her now. She is clearly not in the right state of mind, and I can't believe I put up with her shit for so long. I think it was best that she broke it off with me, I honestly couldn't see things working out between us in the future, but I was desperate and thought it was the best I could do. Lesson Learned. | Ex girlfriend visit's physic, gets initials of S/O shes going to marry. Leaves me for him, He's 4 states away, in debt, has anger issues and a kid. Opposite of me. |
t3_iwogk | self | Reddit, how do you deal with an incompetent superior at work? | So a little background. I am currently employed at a coffee shop, and I work with an incredibly incompetent and uncooperative shift supervisor - who has been there for 3+ years. On numerous occasions, she has admitted that she doesn't know how to run some of the most basic coffee-making tasks (like how to keep cadence to ensure fresh coffee), or know the standard recipes and formulas to making a good latte. She doesn't know the names or drinks of some of our regulars. And she times my half hour lunches, while she gets 45 minutes because she has 'shift duties' to perform.
It's not that she does things wrong per se, it's just that I think there are more efficient ways to run a shift, or do the job, or just treat people in general. And when I bring these things up to her, she completely ignores me. She seems to interpret it as me trying to run her shift, which I am not. I am merely trying to offer some advice or requests. She has even responded with "Well I am the shift supervisor, and I have been here longer, so don't tell me how to run my shift."
At first, I thought it was just me but apparently my coworkers have all experienced this. I have even tried talking with my manager and other shift supervisors, but no one really knows what to do.
I know I should stop my whining, but it has gotten really hard to work with someone who disrespects and belittles me. I'm just miserable every time I have to work with her now. Am I just being a little bitch? or can someone please offer some advice on how to handle this? | I don't know how to work with someone who thinks they are always right just because they are in a higher position. What should I do?* |
t3_36k8xg | relationships | Me [26 F] with my ex [27 F] (together on/off for 2.5 years)--she just told me she has cancer and I don't know how to react. | Hi, r/relationships. I've lurked for a while and have seen the wonderful advice you've given to other people who've posted here, so I hope I can get some wisdom from you too.
As it said in the title, my ex recently told me she was diagnosed with cancer (stage II cervical). She and I were together on and off for about 2.5 years in a VERY toxic relationship. I haven't seen her in almost a year, but we've occasionally spoken since (I'm not a believer in permanent NC, though sometimes I wish I were). Obviously there's a lot more detail to tell, but that's the gist.
I've been with someone new for almost five months now and it's quite serious. But when I heard from my ex, it threw me for a loop. She messaged me out of the blue with the news, even admitting herself she didn't know why she felt the need to tell me. I did respond to acknowledge the message and offer my condolences, but now I don't know how I'm supposed to react as she continues to send me scant updates and also to ask how I am (usually also taking the opportunity to ask about my new relationship). Add to that, she doesn't have a great support system in general.
So...do I ask her how she is every now and then? Offer to be there? Ignore her? And if I did ignore her, would I be wrong to do that? I guess my bottom-line question is, how would you react or feel if an ex from a toxic relationship told you he/she had cancer? | Ex from toxic relationship recently told me she has cancer, and I don't know how to react/feel. Please halp. |
t3_2sm236 | relationships | Me [26F] and my fiance [25M] of 6 months (together 6 years), disagree on whether to have children and need some help | My fiance and I have been together nearly 6 years now (engaged for just over 6 months) and are currently 7 months into an extended holiday backpacking through Asia. We adore each others company, are very supportive of each other and fundamentally agree on most things.
The only issue we don't agree on is children. I've always wanted kids since a young age although as I've gotten older I've become less and less sure. I have always had young children around me as I've grown up thanks to relatives so I am good with them and like spending time with them. On that other hand my fiance doesn't enjoy the company of children and is sure he doesn't want any of his own since they would be a burden on finances and leisure time among other things.
We know this is considered a deal breaker by most, but we love each other so much and really don't want to break up when everything else is so great. We've talked about it a lot and can't come to a conclusion we can accept. As I said I have become less sure about wanting children as I've gotten older and with the possibility of losing the love of my life I feel pretty ambivalent about having children now. Furthermore I also think there are many practical reasons why not having children is a good idea, ranging from the increasingly high cost of living to the world's overpopulation issues.
So my question is: is it possible to choose not to have children against maternal instincts without damaging the relationship? Or does it always end up with one person resenting the other? | Fiance doesn't want children, I do or at least used to. Could I choose to forgo having children in favor of keeping the wonderful relationship I have or will it inevitably end in tears either way? |
t3_4m3x3u | relationships | I [19M] have just a quick question about what she meant [19F]. | I asked me friend out a month ago and she said yes, we agreed on a date, and then I had a sneaking suspicion she didn't know how to turn me down.
I messaged her about it a few days prior, I was right, she just didn't know how to tell me. I didn't mind it, I knew she meant no when she said yes, but that's not really the point.
She was going to give me an excuse to try and "save my feelings" for it, but then I told her she didn't need to and we both joked about it.
I found out the day prior we were still supposed to go out, which completely confused me. I thought if someone rejects a date with you, you're not going out at all even as friends, but according to her, we we're going to hang out. Something came up, of course, and neither of us could make it (Legitimate excuse on her end, I'm positive she didn't lie), and she told me the day before, but she also seemed kinda mad that I didn't think we were still going to hang out after her rejecting me.
That's what confuses me, and it's more of a general question that this situation brought me to, I've moved on from her, please don't comment "Oh you need to move on from her cut off contact etc". I have a general question that thinking back on the situation brought me to. | If you ask someone out, and they say no to a date, is hanging out with them at that same time and place and everything normal? Or is it off completely like I thought? |
t3_14hbj7 | relationships | 23 m 21f, i female am downright heartbroken. . . | Me and my SO are happy, for the most part, but i cant seem to shake the ghost of his ex gf. Heres some background. Nov 2010 we started dating. Both got out of some pretty lengthy relationships, 2yrs for me 3 for him. This girl is the epitomy of shady. But thats for later. Anyway, i fall head over feet. But in march, we break up, for like a week, he tells me he hangouts with her, and how i probably dont wanna see him, false i care about him to much. We get back together. I go back to his house for some well needed sexytimes, bam i see the hicky. He says he told her he was wanting to work things out with me, so she bite him? Idk shes insane. Anyway, things are cool till the last couple days of vacation, in july, where i check his phone, and see a 'hey' text from kimmee<3. I clearly freak the fuck out. We break up, cause theyre gonna work it out. bleh, we remain friends and talk. He tells me hes so unhappy, but yet Proposes? Idk, ok, april 2012 they end it, shes a cheating slut, i called it, we waste no time getting back together. (:! I love him, hes my bestfriend. But can i trust him? Present day i feel shadowed by her, like i cant live up to the feelings he had for her. Idk i could see myself marrying him. Shes engaged, and theres no way of her coming back into the picture. Should we have waited until the hurt healed? | i live in a shadow of a girl that broke my current boyfriends heart. How do i go about fixing it, and showing him, hey, i'm here.! |
t3_3hrr0f | relationships | My [22 F] boyfriend [25 M] of three years has the stomach flu & is upset and I'm not doing a good job comforting him- need suggestions. | As of six months ago I live with my boyfriend of three years and he's got the stomach flu for the first time since I've known him.
He really hates throwing up and gets really worked up about it- he tries to hold it in which makes it even more unpleasant for him when it finally happens. I think he has mild-ish emetophobia- he's always been okay if I throw up with hair holding and whatnot but if it's him he has brutal anxiety. He needs me to be right there with him when it happens, which is fine but I hate seeing him upset and uncomfortable.
He's a super athletic tough guy and usually looks after me but he has a really hard time being sick.
I'm doing my best but I feel like I'm not being comforting enough and could use some tips. It doesn't gross me out- I'm a med student so I've got a stomach of steel but my maternal instincts need some work. I love him and wish I could make it better.
Looking for some suggestions from guys or girls on what your SO does to comfort you when you're hurling. | Boyfriend is puking with the flu and I need some tips on how to comfort him and be better at sympathizing. |
t3_2xc1tl | relationships | I (18f) turned down a guy (18m) that I ended up falling for afterwards | First time poster, long time lurker, whatever.
A backstory: I was homeschooled throughout high school due to being sick and unable to make it through the school day most of the time, so my parents pulled me out and started homeschooling me. During my junior year we moved halfway across the country after my dad accepted a new job, and since I didn't know anyone my age in the area, my mom found a group where homeschoolers can meet other homeschoolers. So through that group, I met this guy and we became friends. At some point we ended up falling for each other and he asked me out. We went on one date and he stopped talking to me after that. This was after I'd graduated in my senior year so I was no longer part of said group, so I didn't see him after that. Well I wasn't too upset by it and just moved on with my life.
Then, out of the blue about two months ago he texts me apologizing for the way he acted, that he was stupid for ignoring me and he didn't have any excuse other than he was really nervous and hasn't been in a serious relationship so he got scared and distanced himself. I understood since I admittedly have done that before so we just started talking again, as friends. Well then, two weeks later he asks to be his girlfriend while we're hanging out at a local diner. I declined saying I wasn't interested (it's been a year since that date, as a timeline if you're still reading) and he was cool with it.
We maintained a friendship but just recently I've realized I really do like him and would like to start a relationship if he's still up for it. But I already told him I'm not interested, so Reddit, my question is....How do I tell him I like him? I've never had to do this before and I'm a relatively shy and quiet girl. | Went on a date with a guy, we stopped talking, now a year later he asks me out and I turn him down, then fall for him after I've already said no. |
t3_13db2c | personalfinance | I am thinking of buying my mom's house | I am 24 and make just under 100K/year. By the end of 2012 I will have no debt (a few grand left on my student loans). I live below my means for the most part, and I have been saving $1000.00/week. This savings will likely go down to about $800/week.
I am thinking about buying my mom's house. She purchased her house just before the housing marketing crash. She took out a $160,000 loan on her house about 5 or 6 years ago.
The value of the house is now around $92K. She refinanced about 15 months ago and now has close to $90K left to pay on her mortgage. The payments (including association fee because it's a town home) are about $1400/month.
She lives alone and wants to move closer to family. She would take a loss on her house.
I have been interested in real estate and I want to start taking over my mom's payments. I want her to give the house to me, and I will pay off her loan.
This way, she will benefit because I get her house instead of selling it and breaking even.
I can purchase a house that costs about $90k for about $90k by paying down her remaining balance, no closings costs etc.
There is still a lot of research I need to do before I make this decision. I will work with a lawyer to make sure everything is done legally.
What are your thoughts? What am I missing here? | My mom's house has gone down in value. She owe's 90K on a townhome worth 90K after 5 years. I want to start taking over her payments and own her house. |
t3_203ioy | relationship_advice | I [24/f] got engaged but we are not interested in setting a date anytime soon, but getting pressure from multiple sides, how can we respond? | We are extremely happy to be engaged yet have no interesting in setting a date yet, especially since it happened less than two months ago. And the problem isn't us, we are on the same page.
It's friends and family. We announced our engagement and have been bombarded with questions about when we are getting married, when we are having kids, where we are getting married, ect. And while I understand these questions are normal, when I explain we haven't made definite plans for any of that the responses are less than favorable--in fact some are down right rude.
So, basically, how can I politely answer to people being rude about our decisions? | Fiance and I are tired of the reactions we get when we respond to their marriage questions in ways they don't seem to like, looking for new ways respond. |
t3_jpkn6 | AskReddit | Wise people of Reddit, I'm being provoked by the same guy since elementary school and I'm fed up. What should I do? | So last night I was at a bar with friends and was deeply engaged in a conversation when everyone suddenly looked past my shoulders towards this couple seated behind me.
Apparently, when we got ready to go for a walk I noticed that the dick who was seated with his girlfriend (they had left by then) was throwing nutshells and shit at me--they had been caught on my shirt and hair. I was pissed, because I soon realized that this guy (22 years old) has been provoking me since elementary school--not really "bullying"; but I've always avoided direct contact. As far as I can remember, he has always been provoking me with minimal physical contact, but so persistently that I'm about to stand up and turn in to the bad guy if I react physically.
We're both adults and, while they had already left, I was determined to hunt him down and embarrass him in front of hundreds of people. But instead I went picking up girls.
Now, this guy is persistent enough to continue provoking until I die and I'm fed up with this bullshit. Unfortunately for him, he probably has never had his ass kicked because he never had to fight for himself; but, before I resort to that, what the fuck should I do next time? | Guy is not man enough to confront me, so he shows off to his girlfriend or friends by provoking me. This has been going on since elementary school and I'm close to beating the shit out of this motherfucker. |
t3_2mrvzw | relationships | I [19M] am finding it increasingly harder to connect with other people. | I'm slowly feeling more and more detached from people around me. I don't know if this purely psychological but it is making me feel very alone. I am a bi-polar, with serious social anxiety, trust issues, and a general depression as well. As a kid I was mentally and physically abused my Mother and Father, and was molested/beaten up by my brother. And the one real girlfriend I had cheated on me with 3 people and turned it on me whenever I confronted her about it. So that is probably what has caused the significant amount of mental upfuckery in my life. This is also something that I am slowly coming to terms with (I am medicated and have a therapist).
So after years of just being in fear I'm trying to get back into the whole dating world; because I really like the idea of that connection/bond of having a best friend that you're romantic with. But I just can't seem to connect with anyone or bring myself to even open up in the slightest. The only person I have had that kind of connection with is my friend [22 M/F] and that's not gonna happen so I'm getting over them. I've tried OKcupid, talking to people, meeting people, putting on a smile. But, it just doesn't work, and it's never them, it's not some "nobody likes me *friendzone*" bullshit, it's just me. I'm just very frustrated and exhausted about feeling this way. That chain of feeling very misunderstood, then guilt for having that feeling. I hope this is the right place to put it, but r/depression hasn't helped me too much (used another throwaway). I just wanted to know if there's something I can do to just bring myself out there? Without just completely forcing 'cause that has yet to help me. | Was abused to hell as a kid, and now I feel disconnected from anyone that I try to date/create a connection with. Any ideas of what I can do to fix this? |
t3_14waew | relationships | My [17m] girlfriend [17f] is thinking of Scotland to study, while I support her I don't want our relationship to fall apart. | Hi people!
We've been together for about eight months, but I hope us to be together at least a bit longer. We both live in Finland right now, studying at high school in an international program. She is on her senior year (she skipped one year in elementary) and I'm on my second year. She's graduating next spring.
While she is applying to a chemistry department here in Helsinki, her main interests regarding Universities are in Scotland, art and design studies which she cannot do in Finland. I am **not** trying to force her to stay here. She loves to study art, and I want her to do what she loves to do. But I love her too much to let our relationship deteriorate after she moves.
I miss her even after a weekend apart. I can from time to time be a bit jealous, or at my worse even paranoid, without reason. Though I do trust her immensely when I'm not being crazy. She's not a very jealous person, and while she does miss me some times, mostly it'll take more than five days for her to miss me. She pretty obviously gets a confidence boost from guys giving her attention, and that doesn't really bother me now, but it can be a problem in the future. I believe that she could handle the long distance relationship a lot better than me in general, since I'm the one who needs more intimacy (not meaning just the sex.)
So my question is; how would I keep our relationship as good as it is, or at least keep it from falling apart? How can I make her feel loved, and myself to not be jealous or paranoid?
Thank you in advance! | Girlfriend (probably) moving to Scotland for university studies, I have some jealousy issues already, how to keep us together. |
t3_1jz40m | AskReddit | Getting back into the dating game | I've been in a relationship for the past 4 years. I am afraid this relationship isn't meant to be, we're growing apart and have irreconcilable differences (like kids in the future, owning guns, etc.) but we managed for this long. I have been toying with the idea of breaking up but I cant seem to even make small talk to persons of the opposite sex. I feel awkward so I keep to myself and just smile from afar....which is beginning to make me feel like some creeper. My problem is I am NOT a creeper, I'm just so used to being comfortable around my group that I suck introducing myself and striking up conversation. | I've been in a relationship too long, lost my game and can't interact without being awkward. I want to meet other people and get to know them but can't get over the initial meeting part... |
t3_25rh6v | relationships | Me [25M and boring dude] who's never had a girlfriend, needs some advice | Hey guys, I'm a 25 year old male that's currently back to attending college after taking a hiatus. I've never had a girlfriend before in the past due to always being relatively shy and overweight (was a big part of it). I used to be about 280, and currently about 180, after a year and a half in the gym.
Anyways, the weight loss coincided with my new motivation to head back to school, and with the promises of education come with it a school body full of opportunities. I won't say I'm good-looking at all, but after time in the gym and improved self-grooming, I'd say I'm at least attractive.
So here's the question, as someone who's never had experience dating, and as someone who's always been reserved and a stay-at-homer, is there any hope for a boring guy? It might seem like an asinine question, but this questions been eating at me for awhile. Since I was always overweight and was always playing video games and what not at home, I don't particularly have any interesting outdoor hobbies (I can't even ride a bike, ice skate or swim, ffs), know of all the great places to take initiative and bring a prospective date to, or anything like that. I constantly wonder if I had a girlfriend, where should I take her and since I don't know of anywhere good to hang out or do stuff together in, I instantly feel listless. I feel like just because I'm the guy I'm supposed to be the person that sets up the activities for dates. Which I might be wrong about but hey I have no clue about that since I've never actually had a girlfriend.
I know that I've probably got a long way to go before I can get myself into a relationship but I'm genuinely curious if there's any hope for me? | Boring guy who's never had a girlfriend who doesn't know of any prime dating locations, or is good at anything wants to know if there's hope for getting into a relationship. |
t3_4rk6lz | personalfinance | How do you keep hobby/fun money from being absorbed by the budget? | I've been working my first job out of school for almost a year now. My wife and I have worked at and have found a sustainable budget for food, clothes, transportation, medical, house, etc. We have money going toward our 401k, we're paying double on our student loans after paying off all our credit cards, and we're saving for a house.
After all this we have a little extra money per pay check that we try to throw at our student loans but more often than not it gets sucked into hobbies and stuff. Id like to allocate an allowance to mitigate this splurge spending. We've tried to give each other allowances for fun stuff in the past but it's always the first thing to go when our budgets start falling apart or our income changes, which happens a lot as students. If we leave the money in our checking account (flex account) I'm afraid it'll get absorbed by the budget.
I'm trying to think up a way to protect our allowances from becoming swallowed by costco shopping trips and accidental extra 'non-hobby' spending. Should we get new checking accounts? Seems like over kill. | I'm looking for an easy way to seperate our "funny money" so it doesn't accidentally get absorbed by our budget. |
t3_3yrv4a | relationships | My mother and siblings want me [M22] to spend New Years at home instead of my with LD girlfriend [23F] of one year last minute change of mind by mother | So a little background. I talked with my family about the holiday season and I said I'd spend Christmas at home and the New Years time with my girlfriend who works (I'm a college student) and lives about 8 hours away and although my sisters weren't that happy with it everyone agreed that it was a fair deal to spend New Years through the time school starts with my long distance girlfriend of one year as long as I was home for Christmas.
Well today my mom acts like she forgot that I said I was spending New Years with my girlfriend and got mad at me when I told her I was going to and told me it was ridiculous that if stay with her until school starts. She said she wants me home for New Years AND to come home after about a week with my girlfriend (versus te 2 weeks I originally planned).
Although my mom won't stop me from going I'm worried my family, especially my mom will be upset with me if I go through with my original plans to spend time with my girlfriend. On one hand, I feel bad changing plans with my girlfriend who is very excited to see me but I do not want to disappoint/anger my mother as well.
As far as what I want to do... I'm really fine with either. I do want to go spend time with my girlfriend as I rarely see her but I understand being home to spend time with my family.
Any advice is appreciated ! Thanks! | Had plans to spend New Years with GF that mother was fine with, she changed her mind and now she's upset with me. What should I do? |
t3_3ce9m1 | offmychest | No one to talk about this stuffthing that is making me very sad and confused. Halp. | So, I'm taking to reddit because I'm being crushed by the sheer weight of this. I am deeply, totally, completely in love with my friend and it's really not cool given our seemingly unending circumstance.
I have other dudes I could date and probably-maybe-possibly-might. No, I will. But, I don't want them. I don't want their hearts *or* their penises. I want him and only him. Love at first sight that never diminished with time, only changed as I matured. We've known each other for a long while.
He's a very dear friend who basically saved my life. I want to tell him all the things. I feel like I can read his mind sometimes, but god damn it, I need words. We could discuss this if it wasn't such a dishonorable and hurtful thing to do right now. Also, I'm a terrible ass. Someone should slap me.
I have never felt more warm than when I'm near him. I feel peace, which is something I have rarely felt in my stupid, chaotic life.
Peace, I tell yuh!
I suck. I suck hard. | Forbidden, probably unrequited love eats a massive bag of cat dicks and then vomits all over my life and ethics, but he's super great and stuff and I am full of dreams. |
t3_2f5e1q | relationships | Girlfriend [F18] goes to college and tells me [M17] i have can't talk to her till I learn to be happy without her | My girlfriend of 9 months went to college a week ago. At the start of our relationship I gave up all of my friends and relationships to be with her and this summer we spent every day together. Now that she is at college I don't have anyone to talk to and she only calls me at about 1 AM every day and once in the morning. Every time she has called i have been sad and generally depressed feeling because she has made a whole group of new people that she uses to substitute me (her words) so she doesn't miss me. I on the other hand don't have anyone right now and she has been choosing time with her friends over calling me. The latest example is that she didn't call me at 1:00 because she had to play uno with her friends. Now she says my sadness is making her unhappy and she will break up with me if I dont get over it. I love this girl more than anything but now she says I can only call her once a day till I learn to be happy. Please help me | girlfriend went to college and found new group of friends. Seldom calls except for once in morning or night. She threatened to break up with me if I don't be happier. |
t3_3f5rv6 | legaladvice | DUI - Ignition Interlock Device (IID) Exemption question! | Hello All- I am in Milwaukee WI
I need to have a vehicle exempted from the IID, I wrote the judge asking for the exemption on my 2010 ford focus because it is inoperable after being in an accident over 3 years ago and has been sitting at my grandparents for that time and is still there to this day. I was UNINSURED at the time and haven't driven since due to my license being revoked.
The time has now come again where I can get my license back but that inoperable focus is holding me back because technically it needs an IID before I can have another vehicle in my name.
Before granting me the exemption, the judge/secratary wants a Notarized document saying that the car is inoperable.
My question is where can I get a document like that since it has been so long and it was uninsured at that time and obviously still is? Can I just go to a body shop pay them to look at it and write something up?
Or since it will be Notorized can I just ceate a document myself?
The biggest thing holding me back is the I obviously can't even drive it to go and get an IID in it even if I had NO intentions of driving it. | Need to Know how to go about getting a Nototrised document claiming a vehicle is inoperable even though it is not covered by insurance so I can have the judge exempt this vehicle. |
t3_4lr928 | relationships | Me [20 F] active duty with [22 M] veteran. Need SERIOUS help figuring out how I feel about everything. | Please help! i need some clear outside interprtation of everything going through my head. I am currently active duty and met a guy from back home online for about and he has grown attached. He says he's going to marry me and I'm the love of his life.
At first I was very skeptical and expressed this concern but he pushed it aside saying he would never do anything to hurt me and he understands that I'm not going to be around a lot. His enlistment was very stressful and he saw many terrible things on his deployment and suffers PTSD severely from it. Honestly I'm not ready for a committed relationship. I'm still young and haven't had the opportunity to really enjoy any single life. I just got out of a terrible relationship about a year ago.
I'm afraid that if I keep going with this dream he's trying so hard to push then I'm going to end up very unhappy and he's going to get hurt. I truly do care about him and when he comes to me during the bad days he has I am completely there for him and will help calm him down in any way I can. He's supposed to come fly out to see me fourth of July weekend and I truly have no idea what to do. I don't want to cause him more pain but I enlisted to deploy as much as possible and have accepted that I'll probably come home in a box. I can't subject him to that again. I don't want to hurt him, he's already planning our wedding but we aren't even together.... | I have dug a deep hole with this guy and I don't want to hurt him anymore but I'm not ready for the level of commitment he wants. How do I talk to him about this without breaking him? |
t3_o02sg | BreakUps | Stuck trying to prove who I was is no longer who I am. | So my boyfriend (22, M) and I (22, F) started dating as freshmen in college. We're a year out now, so just about 4 years, and it's been a trip. As a young female out on my own in the world for the first time, I was headstrong and selfish. I was reluctant to give up any opportunity to test myself, and my new-found freedom. I'm not saying there haven't been great times; in fact, more often than not, our relationship has been everything I've (we've?) wanted. But on three separate occasions, my lust for the unknown clouded my judgement, and I made some mistakes. Specifics aside, he was greater than I could have asked for, and stood beside me, picking me up and forgiving my failings and flaws every time I fell.
But on the third strike, he'd had enough and left. We agreed it was for the best; that I had a lot of growing to do and changes to make with myself before I could be happy with anyone, not just him. This was 6 months ago now. After time and reflection, and a whole lot of harsh reality checks, I have this unquenchable need to fix it. The changes I needed to make I think I've made. I no longer prioritize myself in front of him. My needs just don't matter any longer. Our needs do. His needs do. We remain distantly in touch but understandably he doesn't feel comfortable seeing me.
My real question is, I guess, how can I show him my new side, and prove to him that I'm ready and mature enough to stick by him through the worst of times so that I can spend the best of times with him, when he is resolute in not seeing me? Words can only say so much. There's only so much an email can say.
Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated; judgement is not. | Drove away the most important person in my life by having the wrong priorities. Time passed, have reconsidered who I was and made significant changes. How to show him who I am now? |
t3_43bqhg | relationships | My first proper relationship - 3 months in but unsure of how I feel. I'm [32M], she's [30F]. | I met my girlfriend online and our first two dates lasted around eight hours each. I felt almost dizzy inbetween them, like I was having the realisation that this was the girl I'd been waiting to meet. Since then, she's met my friends and got on very well with them. I've met her parents and siblings, all of whom seem to like me too. I'm a very introverted person yet she's always acccommodated my need for space and time to myself. Although she's not what I would have regarded as my 'type' physically (medium blonde instead of tall brunette), the sex is great and I've generally had fewer low moods than when I was single. However, I'm allergic to her cats, she's messier than I am and less frugal with money too. We don't have that many common interests either although we've happily introduced new things to each other.
She's an open person and I'm in no doubt that she loves me - she's even called me her soulmate. However, I'm not sure I have the same depth of feeling for her that she does for me and I'm not sure why. In my twenties, I dated a couple of girls for a few weeks each and one of them broke things off with me after I'd let things drift along when they should never have gone beyond a second date.
Otherwise, I've had virtually no experience of dating and although I assume it's natural for feelings to settle down after a few months, I've been having more and more doubts during these last few weeks. I've had huge unrequited crushes on girls in the past which felt far more intense than my current feelings and lasted for months if not years - is it realistic for anyone to feel as strongly about their partner three months into a relationship or is that simply not sustainable in any serious relationship? | Met a loving girlfriend but having doubts three months in and due to complete lack of experience, not sure if this is normal 'settling down' of feelings or if I'm losing interest. |
t3_1k80qw | relationships | I [18f] want my boyfriend [20m] to take on my last name along with me taking on his if we get married, but he thinks it's dumb. | We've been together for almost 7 months, and we're not planning on getting married any time soon, but I think sharing our names is fair and equal. Our potential children would take his last name. But a marriage is an equal partnership, not one person becoming another.
My last name is my identity, his last name is his. If we get married, we become part of each other's lives, not just me becoming part of his.
Another option would be to merge our last names to create a new one, but he doesn't really like that idea either.
Am I wanting too much or is he being stubborn? How common is this? | I think it's fair for my boyfriend to take on my last name along with me taking on his so we share both, because we're equals, but he disagrees. |
t3_2jzv2t | relationships | How can I [19 M] make a [20 F] happy, How can I make a sad girl happy? | I really like this girl, and i'm willing to go the extra mile to help her out but i'm not sure how to do it.
I never knew she was sad and depressed until one of the girls that knew her came to me and told me that she was thinking of leaving college since she had no friends and she had a hard time making them, which made her very lonely and depressed.
She is in the same class as me and she sits right behind me. The first time i met her she seemed like a really nice girl, and i really enjoyed talking with her. We would sometimes walk outside of class and laugh together.
Once i was told that she wasnt very happy i got really sad, and i wanted to do everything that is in my power to help her out.
Now there is one problem, she doesnt seem to want my help. I feel like she wants friends that are girls and not guys. I try to talk to her via message but it takes her time to reply and doesnt seem so talkative as she is in real life. She also has some issues with her family, since they were very strict. She never went to parties and never drank, and studied a lot. If she did ever go out she would have to be back by 10 pm.
I asked her to go out for lunch or dinner but she said she has dance practice, and she will be free next week
I really dont know what to do to cheer her up, im willing to do anything, i just want to see her happy. Please help | I like a girl in my class, she is sad and thinking of leaving college because she has no friends and is depressed. She doesn't seem to want my help, but I want to help her. Please help ! |
t3_4wcw10 | askwomenadvice | Do I have any chance of getting my ex-boyfriend back? | My ex boyfriend just broke up with me. We were together for almost two years and I loved him the whole time and still do. He's just broken up with me as he said over the last month or so, he no longer sees me romantically and didn't feel like we were a couple. It was his first relationship so he also didn't know what he wanted and felt like he's changed since we got together.
The whole time we were in a relationship, we were long distance so I feel like if we could work around that, any other problem should have been fixable too. When we first got together, I could see that he really did love me, he called me his soul mate and he told me today he's only had these feelings for just over a month or so.
When we spoke earlier, I made it clear that I still loved him and I would always take him back if he changed his mind and he said he'll still keep my number and at some point in the future we could talk as friends but he has no idea about a relationship and basically said he doesn't want to talk to me for months until we're over it.
I loved him and still do so much, I would do absolutely anything for him to reconsider. What should I do? | Boyfriend broke up with me as he said he doesn't feel like a couple any more as we're not romantic enough. How can I get him back? |
t3_1nkp0v | relationships | Me [18F] with my parents [45 M/F]: Moving out, help me feel less guilty/any advice? | To begin with, I am 18 and moving out for the first time. I am in university and holding a cadetship at the moment which pays me a stable rate. I am also in Australia if that makes a difference.
My parents have always depended on the small sums of government money I have received as to keep them afloat. They have a number of kids, which I am the second of, and well... I feel bad about leaving them knowing I will need to take that money for myself to pay for my own rent and bills. I am moving into an existing sharehouse to minimise all costs, but during the semseter it will be a bit tighter than during the olidays when I can pick up another job.
I really need to move out as I am bipolar and have been for years and am under constant pressure by my contolling mother and suffocated in a room with my two younger brothers. Our house is cramped and small and I cannot remember a time in my life when I have not had to share a room with at least 2 other people, but 18, it's getting ridiculous. I have no privacy whatsoever in my room and my mother finds it her devine right to trifle through my belongings at her pleasure (throwing my medication out at one point because my parents don't believe my diagnosis, despite me having to see two psychiatrists).
I am at my wit's end. I have found a nice place, have used my savings to buy myself whatever additional furniture my eldest sister hasn't given me, but the situation with the money is eating at me. My parents have started a business together (which has for the most part put them in debt) and my mum has to travel for it. They are still not making enough to fully cover costs, so I am worried about how my actions will impact them. I am honestly considering giving them any spare money I may have at the end of the month, but it doesn't seem like it would be enough.
Should I continue to move out? Is it my responsibilty to concern myself finacially? Frankly, I'm nervous and afraid, but I'm reaching my limit. | Parents depend on me financially. I need to move out and will need to use my money for myself. Is there any advice anyone can give or anything else to add to help me settle my feelings on the matter? |
t3_1ghuoa | AskReddit | [Need Advice] Cousin is a cutter | I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post this; if it isn't, just lemme know where to put it.
Okay, so my family recently had a family reunion, which was a lot of fun... but one of my little cousins, whom I have not seen since she was six (she's 12 now) was acting a little strange.
Now, I'm 25 and obviously been out of high school for a while, but I could still see that she was trying to hide the fact that she is trying to deal with some issues.
On the last day of the reunion, she told me that she cuts herself... a lot. But she only told me this on the condition that I keep it a secret.
None of her family seems to know about it (she lives with her half sister and grand parents), and according to her, she hasn't told any of her friends either...
I'm not certain what is causing this type of behavior; the only experience I have with it was a girl I dated back in high school... but she heavily implied that her family is the root cause.
I have no idea what to do... I told her that if she ever needs anyone to talk about whatever issues she's dealing with, judgement free (and in confidence), then she can get a hold of me.
I think I should tell her grand parents... but I'm afraid that if I do, she'll just continue her behavior and I will have broken her trust... Any advice would be appreciated. | My 12yo cousin told me that she is a cutter, no one else knows, she told me on condition that I keep it a secret; conflicted about what to do |
t3_2jjhzh | relationships | My sister (27) wants me (22f) to pay all the ultilities for this month and help her with other expeneses | So, my sister and I live together. It's in a duplex style house and we each pay rent proportionate to the amount of space we have. We split utilities. This month she texts me and says she doesn't have enough for her half and she wants me to pay it all. She also wants me to pay for food and her gas. I don't want to pay for all of it because I'll never see that money again. I also found out that she misrepresented the amount for utilities so I've been paying around 65% of it. I'm willing to pay 80% this month but that is all I can spare as I am engaged and have a wedding to save for.
This is also not the first time I have helped her. In the past I've paid for her groceries and her gas (maybe like once every other month) and she's never paid me back. She also just bought new clothes recently which makes me angry because she could have used that money for her bills!
It's a hard situation because if I don't help her she will hate me and no amount of rational reasoning will help her understand. In her mind, since I make more money, I should be happy to help her, though she never pays me back.
So my compromise it to pay for 80% of the bills this month and then take over the entirety of a certain bill starting next month. I think that is pair but she thinks I'm being mean by not paying for 100%.
What do you guys think? | sister wants me to help with her half of the bills this month. I offered a compromise but she wants me to pay more. Am I being mean and selfish? |
t3_4gwq8p | legaladvice | [Ontario, Canada] Rules of the Parking Lot | Today, some woman came up to me and told me that I was driving to fast in a parking lot and that she was going to report me to the police for "dangerous driving" or something. The parking lot is owned by a private company, there is no speed limit posted, and no stop signs posted in the area where she claims I was driving too fast. If she took my license plate number and vehicle description, could I possibly be fined for something based only on her report, given that its in a parking lot (Highway Traffic Act doesn't apply in private parking lots as far as I know in Ontario). | Woman thought I was driving unsafely, can I get a fine based only on her report (not seen by the police) after the fact? |
t3_twif8 | dating_advice | My best friend just left her boyfriend, how long should I wait before I make a move? | Hi reddit. I've known this girl for several years, we're both in our early 20s, but only since late 2011/early 2012 we've become best friends (at least she's my best friend). We hang out all the time one on one, we share a lot of common interests, the same sense of humour... You get the idea. I'm utterly in love with this girl.
She is/was in a long term relationship, and although I've tried to flirt with her from time to time I've never made a move. The thing is, she's gotten in a big fight with her boyfriend and apparently they've broken up. I don't really know what has happened and who left whom, but I do know I don't want to miss my, quite possibly, only chance. I don't really know if she's another friend with whom, like me, she hangs out and has feelings for her; or if she'll meet someone new shortly.
So /r/relationships, how long should I wait before making a move? Given we're best friends and we already hang out just by ourselves (having dinner, going to watch a film, alone in my house playing videogames...) several times a week, what would the best aproach be? How should I tell her?
I know this might very well be the end of our friendship, or maybe of its current status, but the feeling is overwhelming and I can't keep it in anymore, it's killing me. I need to try at least. Worst case scenario she won't talk to me anymore, I will miss her friendship so much, but at least I might have the chance to forget her. Thanks for reading. | Best female friend just broke up with her boyfriend, how long should I wait and how do I tell her I have feelings for her given we already hang out one on one. |
t3_2e1c2e | tifu | TIFU By getting tiger balm on my privates | So, today was my second day of intensive hockey training. 3 hours straight on the ice. Since it's my first time playing for a couple of months, I feel sore as hell. When we finished up, I went home, had a nice bath and put some tiger balm on my sore muscles. Bad idea.
My groin was killing me. In the car on the way back, I could barely lift them. (Again, I'm athletic, just really out of condition for intensive play right now, I never get THIS sore). I rub some tiger balm down the inside of my legs. Somehow I get some underneath my balls. I don't notice anything for a while, but a few minutes later, an excruciating pain comes in like a punch between the eyes. I reach down there to see what's wrong and end up with more of the shit under my nuts.
To make a rather long story short, they're still in a fiery yet somehow freezing state of extreme pain.
Reddit, Today, I Fucked Up. | Had sore hamstrings. Go for the tiger balm. Get some in the wrong place. Pain. PAIN. PAAAIIIN. |
t3_1zbqni | relationships | My girlfriend (29) and I (21/f) have had trouble making alone time for ourselves and have recently decided to do so. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and have been having a hard time making alone time a priority for ourselves. We enjoy spending time together so much (maybe too much?) that very quickly, sleepovers became stay overs and we've been taking 1-2 nights away from each other a week (if that). As introverts, we both agree that in order to maintain a healthy relationship, we need time apart to recharge (both mentally and emotionally), enjoy doing things alone and ultimately, to give each other time to **miss** one another.
This issue has been a reoccurring argument in our relationship and we recently decided to spend some days (and nights) apart to better ourselves and our relationship. Missing each other is hard right now but I know that in order to make this relationship work, this is absolutely necessary for the health of us as individuals and as a couple.
Has anyone else been in this situation? If so, what did you learn? Any advice is welcomed. Tips to being a better person for my SO, also welcome. | Happy (f/f) relationship, having trouble taking alone time to ourselves. Would like to learn how to create a healthy space in our relationship while still making time together to grow as a couple. |
t3_1jdd3s | relationships | 25m ended a long term relationship and wants to ask a long time co-worker(20f) out. | I don't have much knowledge of relationship stuff or dating. I've been in a long term relationship, the only one I've had, and it ended about 2 months ago. I've worked at the same place for nearly 6 years and have known this co-worker for about maybe 2 or 3 but we rarely ever chat. I always thought she was nice looking in a non-traditional way. Hard to explain but I like her. I chatted to her finally for about 15 minutes yesterday and she seems really nice(also no mention of a boyfriend). But I'm not sure how to ask her out. We've seen each other a ton at work, barely chatted until now, and there's a 5 year age gap. Am I reaching too far? I'm not even sure where to ask her out, I feel pretty lost here and even more so at my age but I've never really done this shit.
We have dinner and drink nights out at work with some people, would that be an easy place to ask her out too? Like invite her to that? Or should I just go for it and ask for a more personal one? | Ended a LTR, not experianced in dating, but like a girl I've worked with for a long time and would like to ask her out. Any tips on doing it in a situation like that? |
t3_2ojvsn | relationships | Me [28 M] with my wife [27 F]. She wrote an inappropriate text to a coworker. Should I be upset? | My wife was at a social gathering last night and wrote a somewhat inappropriate text to a female friend/coworker making reference to one of her male coworkers at the function.
She wrote, "He is here and hot. Our outoutfits match. I want him so badly right now."
(I saw this b/c she came home tipsy and went right to bed. Her phone dropped and I picked it up.)
Anyways, I'm not sure exactly how to feel about this. On one hand, I know it's inevitable as humans to find other people attractive - I don't have a problem with that on a basic level.
However, idk about writing a text like that. What's going through her head?
Knowing her, I don't think she'd cheat. I'm not worried about that.
Am I reading into this too much? Or am I rationalizing and not taking this as seriously as I should? | wife sent a text to a friend about her attraction to another coworker. Not sure how I should react to it. |
t3_27w1ew | relationships | Me [29 F] with my husband [32 M] of three years. I'm just not in love with him anymore. | I have such a great husband, but i just don't love him anymore. I'm not physically attracted to him anymore. I don't think he would be a good dad. I want kids but I don't think I can do it with him. I really want a divorce. I know this is going to be expensive for both of us and i really don't want to hurt him, but doesn't he deserve someone that is fully into this relationship? Don't i deserve to be with someone I love?
I wish I could just switch a switch in my brain so that I could see him with rose colored glasses again. If there is anything I could do to do that I would. We are going to be physically separated because of his work in the coming months and I feel like I may not be able to remain faithful. I have never cheated before but my mind and heart is continually wandering. I don't want to hurt him. He is such a good person. | I'm not in love with the man that I married. He is such a good person. How do I approach this subject with him in the best/clearest way without hurting him any more than necessary? |
t3_3lb875 | relationships | Me [32/F] with my crush [46/M] of two years | I have realized recently that I really, really like my coworker. We started out flirting fairly soon after I started working there, and it has progressed somewhat physically. We talk often, in person, and messaging.
He has called me things like beautiful, pretty, amazing, cute. He has said I could have any guy I want. He has came up behind me and poked me, came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, getting pretty touchy. The other day I did hint around to him that I like him. I said things like how it seems that women aren't allowed to be aggressors, and it scares guys off sometimes if they are.
Then I told him I get scared because I feel like I can say anything to him, no filter, unlike with other people, and I don't want to scare him in the future by saying something. He said, "like what?". I got too nervous then, so I just said, "Well, it seems like guys sometimes get scared if women say certain things.
Like you need to watch what you say", or something to that effect.
He then said, "Well, i think I'm pretty safe". I took that as he was saying he wouldn't get scared away by me confessing feelings. Is it possible he knew what I was getting at and said that to maybe prod me into saying outright that I like him?
I know everybody will say, "just tell him", like it's the easiest thing, but it's not for me. Especially because I want to get a feel for if he feels the same before I'd take the risk. | told guy I like i think guys get scared when women say they like them,he said he "thinks" he's "safe"? Possible he knew what I was saying, and was hinting for me to just say it? |
t3_34bz5n | Advice | Having Serious Problems at a Motel 6 (credit card charged twice for a different amount) | I checked in this afternoon, 2 nights, signed a slip for $109.86 [1] . I get up to my room, and go online, and checked my account balance for something unrelated and see this [2] Charged twice for a different amount $126.34.
I go down to the front desk and talk to the lady that checked me in, I think she is Co-Owner with her husband... she says that she only charged me once, and that I saw her do it. But I also saw her run it, it took awhile and cancel it. Then she ran it again. I told her about this, so she printed out a copy from her credit card terminal that showed $109.86
I called AmEx, there is nothing they can do because the charges are on hold and told her to call her merchant account, which she did... but when I was listening she was basically telling them what she was telling me. She also didn't have the correct account information at the time, she said she would call me and tell me what is going on.
I go up to my room, she calls and tells me to call AmEx again. Ugh. So I call the corporate number for Motel 6 (which I waited an hour to talk to someone) I spoke to a man that said since it's independently owned and operated, all they could do is send a letter to the hotel and to expect a response within 15 days.
I don't have a lot of money to begin with, I'm off of work for a couple days, and no all my money is basically tied up with these people until it gets resolved.
Does anyone have any advise for me?
Thank you | checked in, signed a slip for 109, got billed twice for 126. front desk cant help and neither corporate motel 6 |
t3_39slaz | relationships | How can I [M20] feel more like a man in our relationship? (With cancer) I'm starting to resent her [F23]. | I've been battling cancer since I was 15. It was in remission for 2 years 17-19, I didn't think it would come back. When I was 18 I met my girlfriend and we fell in love. We had been together for 9 months or so when my cancer came back. When it came back, I almost encouraged her to leave because I knew what was in store. She decided to stay with me.
For the past 6 months I've been doing radiation, with my condition only getting worse. Last week I decided to stop treatment. The cancer feels different this time (worse) and I don't want to spend my last few months getting radiation and feeling sick every day. She has been here for me the whole time and I am forever grateful.
The thing is that with her working, paying for almost everything and supporting me, I just don't feel like a man. I stay at home most days and cook and clean while she works. I feel like I'm starting to resent her a little bit. I know I'm going to die soon, but there's nothing that I really want to do. I don't want to travel or write poetry. What I want more than anything is to feel like I can support and protect the woman that I love. I just don't know how to do that.
I have just stopped radiation, so I have no hair and I'm really skinny - I look like someone with cancer. Looking like I do it's very unlikely that I'd get a job, honestly I'm not sure if I want one either. The only thing that I really do for her is cook, which I'm good at. What can I do to feel more like a man for her? | How can I [M20] feel more like a man in our relationship? (With cancer) I'm starting to resent her [F23]. |
t3_2fn9kn | relationships | I [20M] am having trouble being around other women without thinking of my ex. | So a couple of weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend of three and a half years. I honestly do feel much better now then I did when it initially happened. However, I start to revert back to being depressed and thinking about her whenever I am with other women. I don't mean sexually either. It seems like every time I am having a conversation with a girl or hanging out or whatever they will do something that will remind me of my ex and then I really start to miss her. I don't really know what to do about it because I really enjoy being around women. It sucks because I can't even hangout with some of my close friends without getting sad and upset now. | Broke up with GF of 3.5 years a few weeks ago. Am feeling sad when I hangout with other women because I am being reminded of her. |
t3_2d3kgl | tifu | TIFU by adding a coat of paint on a wall | So today we decided to fix up the paint job on a couple of walls on our hallway. No big deal, right? We certainly thought so.
I got the paint, a roller, cleared everything out of the way and got to work. 5 minutes into the job I notice something funny. The paint seems to be peeling off of the wall and on to the roller. I start peeling the coat of paint off of the wall but more and more starts coming off.
As it turns out, there were too many coats of paint on the wall and the one I added made an older layer peel off.
So now here I am, peeling the paint off of the wall with my hand, hoping it will stop peeling off somewhere so I can get on with the paint job. NOPE! 2 hours and A LOT of frustration later I ended up peeling off all of the paint I had put on, as well as parts of the underlying layer.
In the end i just gave up. Instead of 30 minutes of touching up the paint job I'll end up pulling down all the wallpaper and starting from scratch. It'll probably end up costing hundreds of euros too.
[Here's an album of what happened] mid way through the peeling action. | spent 5 minutes to paint a wall; spent 2 hours to take the paint i had just put up off of the wall. |
t3_hwycm | relationships | Been together 6 years, might be breaking up soon. | I'll start from the top. I've dated my girlfriend since I was a sophomore in high-school, great relationship until the end of my freshman year of college. This was our first real break-up, she left me because she liked someone else, and she wasn't immediately honest about it. I was a mess for 3 weeks until she came back to me.
Things changed a little when we were both in college, we're not really the party type so we both grew up a little. We had our problems every now and then, every couple does, but for the most part we were really happy. Things got routine and she never liked that, but a lot of times we didn't have many chances to do sporadic activities.
We stopped having sex as much, all because of her, which bothered me but I endured. She has told me that her sex drive just isn't what it used to be and she doesn't know why, but we still had sex once or twice a week. On good weeks, every day. Those weeks were awesome, for both of us.
Now to the problem, she has told me that she feels caged about our relationship and that she feels like she is missing apart of life by us having been together for so long. I asked her what she wanted to experience and why it's something we can't experience together, but she doesn't give me a specific answer. I'm now 22 and she is 21. I'm majoring in MIS and she is nursing.
I love her, and would really rather not lose her. Anyone have any advice? | I've dated my girlfriend for six years and she is feeling confused and might be leaving me soon. Hoping for some quality reddit advice. |
t3_27uf4k | relationship_advice | (25f) just found out my on again/off again person (27m) has been convicted for child pornography | I met this guy 6 months ago. We met online, but we have a great mutual friend who I trust in common and he vetted him for me. I also googled him and nothing came up. We met and hit it off immediately, the sex was great, the whole thing. Very intense feelings. We've been on and off since.
We went out on the weekend and it was great. I put a picture of him up (the first time I've done that with him) and a friend called saying that she knew him and that he had been convicted for possession, distribution and accessing child pornography. He served time, too (he told me that during that time he was suffering from depression). I called his local paper and found the article announcing his arrest. He doesn't know that I know.
So what the hell do I do? Obviously it's over, I'm horrified and disgusted and want to vomit all the time. I also don't know how this happened and how I fell for someone like this. I feel disgusted with myself. Mostly this post is just to vent, but any suggestions of how to not feel like human garbage would be appreciated. | a guy I've been seeing on and off lied about his past - he's been convicted and plead guilty to child porn charges. I feel like I've been hit by a bus. |
t3_2k43md | relationships | me ( 21 male ) with ( 21 female ) or ( 20 female ) . I'm in a very awkward position I guess . The one I love vs the one who loves me . Read and tell me your thoughts | my college friend ( 21 years old ) left her boyfriend hoping I'd be there ...
she had a terrible controlling boyfriend .. she was afraid he might do her harm or something if she left him or told him to leave her alone .. he's a bad guy .. when I came .. she had someone to back her up which is me .. as a close friend of her I gave her enough strength to free herself from that abusive relationship .. she told me that I was the main reason she decided to finally tell him without being afraid .. and that's because all the support I gave to her ..
during that time I met a girl ( 20 years old ) who's VERY similar to me .. I had a crush on her from the first day .. we talk a lot and I think I love her .. but to be honest I don't think she loves me as much .. she shows care but not as much as someone who loves more than a friend me would ..
so I'm having two important girls in my life at the moment .. my college friend isn't similar to me .. thoughts wise ... we have different views about life but we're not against each other .. though she cares more about me obviously .. like when I disappear for 2 days she asks to make sure am ok .. the other one doesn't
but I love the other one :/ I love both .. one of them as a friend and the other as a girlfriend ...
my college friend told me once that she left her boyfriend because she liked me at one point .. besides the fact that he was a horrible guy .. it was awkward .. and still
so to make things very simple ( cuz I know it's getting complicated for readers ) I have friend feelings for a girl who loves me more than a friend .. and love feelings for a girl who loves me as a friend
should I be with the one who loves me or the one that I love ? | lost between two girls .. one of them cares about me more than the other .. BUT that one is a friend to me .. which means I feel nothing romantic for her... at least at the moment |
t3_1y1w7r | relationships | Me [22 M] with my personal issue [24 F] lasted a little less than 1 year. I need advise for closure. | When I was 22 years old, I met this girl who I thought was incredibly beautiful, inside and out. She was from another state but was in this particular one for work. Long story short, we started hooking up 2-3 times a week. She hinted at her eventual move. She eventually moved to another state but before she did, she avoided me for one month before she left. I felt like things were going good between us. I felt like I would see her one last time and say my final goodbye, but that never happened. It has been over 6 months since she has moved and I still can't stop thinking about her. I have made no effort to try to contact her and she has made no effort to contact me. I don't want to appear needy or attached. My question is whether or not I should ask her why she stopped talking to me a month before she moved. It could be because she got bored of me, because she didn't want to get overly attached, because she found someone else, who fucking knows, but as of right now, I just want to know why. Is it a good idea to ask her, or should I just let this go? I am 23 now and she is 25. It was a short fling so I'm wondering if it even matters for me to ask her why she didn't want to see me? Anyone experience something like this? I would love to hear your opinion. | Hooked up with a girl a year ago for a few months even though i knew she was leaving for good but I never said goodbye. Should I ask her why she never gave a goodbye? |
t3_20cxdw | relationship_advice | (19/M) wondering if a relationship is possible with (18/F) before she's fully over her (18/M) ex? | It's a messy situation, but when isn't it... This girl (who is in my opinion very out of my league) and I have become very close very quickly (in about 2 months) while at college; many nights spent together, text constantly, etc. Her previous boyfriend played a lot of aggressive mind games and its left her pretty emotionally hurt/psychologically lost. She's aware of it, and vocal about it to me. We began to get close while she was still in the relationship but waited until it was officially over to get physically involved/let our friends know of a budding relationship.
Though they "mutually" ended things in early January, the relationship isn't totally over yet. He's not happy with the break up, thinks he can reignite things, etc. She has no intention of getting back together with him, but at the same time they have a lot of mutual friends here at school and says it is going to take awhile for her to get over him/sort things out with the friends.
What I need advice with is how I fit into this picture. We both tell one another we like each other very much, and trust me when I say that it is genuine from both sides. I'm worried I hurt my chances at a relationship with this girl by continuing to be in the picture while she struggles to get over the old relationship. However, to spend time apart and wait for her to fully get over things terrifies me. Is that just a risk I'm going to have to take? And when will I know if/when she can get over the last relationship? | Girl got out of a bad relationship leaving her very confused and lost, but likes me and I like her. Do I wait until she gets over the old relationship before developing ours? |
t3_160h3r | relationships | LDR girlfriend ignoring me since her cat died. [M:23 F:18] | Hello, throwaway account because that's how I roll.
So my long-distance girlfriend had this cat for 15 or so years and then one day it gets sick and dies. I knew it was going to die from her description of what it was doing (not eating, being slow, not responding) but of course I pretended it was going to be okay to placate her.
Girlfriend and I talk **every day** on Skype etc and text each other all the time. We're really close for an LDR couple. I'm the first guy she slept with, so yeah.
She gets busy with her work a lot and because I'm some loser dumbass I get bored and feel I'm a bit too clingy with her, but after the cat died she just totally fucking ignores me. She spoke to me, uh, twice yesterday, I think? I haven't heard anything from her today at all. Sent her a couple of texts with no replies, messaged her on Facebook a few times - no replies; she hasn't been on Skype as far as I know. This has been ongoing for probably about two or three weeks. It sucks.
I feel like a dick because I'm not really an animal person; the last pet I had was a Guinea pig and when it died I said, "shit happens" and buried it in the garden with no further fucks given.
So her cat dies and then she decides she can't be bothered to talk to me. I haven't done anything different or anything wrong; it's like she's just given up on me since it died. She has, however, been spending a lot more time with her *male* friends much to my chagrin. I get annoyed with this but as I understand they are just *friends* who aren't exactly her type (tall, clingy, emos are her type, apparently).
Do I just wait this out or try and talk to her about it? | girlfriend's cat died and now she doesn't seem to want to talk to me, but seems to spend a lot more time with her male friends instead. |
t3_3unpgx | tifu | TIFU by getting a free haircut | After my sister finished getting her hair done at a local beauty salon and trade school, she received a coupon for a free haircut. She offered me the coupon to which I accepted. Later that day, I went to the same place my sister had gone and presented them with the coupon so I could get a free haircut.
A nice young lady got me settled in my seat and asked me what kind of haircut I wanted. I had pretty short hair to begin with (borderline shaggy), so I told her I didn't really care.
She was really careful when cutting my hair and she constantly kept asking other hairstylists for assistance.
about an hour into my haircut, I had realized that I was a practice dummy for a student at the trade school.
The haircut ended up taking about 4 hours. | Went to a beauty school for a free haircut; realized I was a practice dummy for one of the students and ended up staying there for 4 hours. |
t3_3i1w79 | tifu | TIFU by not jerking it in a long time...(NSFW) | This just happened unfortunately...
Important note, I ran out of shirts and was using my brothers favorite shirt
So basically same old story with hormones getting the better of a teen...badly
So basically I haven't done..."research" in a long time (almost a year now"). And I decided to do it tonight. Being the honor student I am, I forgot to take off my brothers shirt. I'll spare you the details and fast foward when I finished. Me not having it done it in a while...I forgot the canon's range...and got it on my brother's favorite shirt...now I have to get it back to him and I have no idea how to explain it... | borrowed a brothers shirt, jerked off for the first time in a while, got it on the shirt for range miscalculations. |
t3_17vfkm | relationship_advice | [39/m] My girlfriend (31/f) is pissed because I told her to shower before sex | I absolutely adore my girlfriend and am extremely turned on by her; she is really pretty and her body is slamming, and I have no problem doing anything sexual with her and have been more kinky/crazy with her than anyone before. With that said, this past weekend, she was being lazy watching TV doing her own thing, so I started on a project that I wanted to get to, but have procrastinated on. Fifteen minutes later, she says that she wants sexy time.
I reply, well, I just started my project (which requires getting out the correct tools, setting up a workspace, etc...). She said, well, can't it wait? I said, alright, why don't you take a shower and I'll be up in fifteen. She replied, I'm not taking a shower, why? I replied, well, what if I want to go down on you? Her horror stricken, WHY? DO I SMELL?...Me, no, that's not what I meant, blah, blah. Her, extremely pissed, forget it. She hasn't talked to me really since then (a few days).
I have apologized many times and told her that I absolutely do not think that she smells, to which she constantly says, then why did you say, because you might go down on me? I really have no answer to this. The truth is, I love going down on her, but she doesn't ever shower or wash before sex. We had drunken sex the night before after partying all night and I know that I had dried stuff all over me when I took a shower that morning. Truthfully, it would be nice if she was just slightly considerate, but now she is super pissed and I'm feeling like I did something horrible. Any help? Am I wrong? | I told my girl to shower before sex because I might want to go down on her and now she is super pissed. |
t3_2oxxbs | relationships | Am I (25F) asking to much of my boyfriend (26M)? | So our background - We have been together for almost 2 years and have only lived together for 3 months.
I (25F) work crazy hours, it's shift work anytime between 6:30 am - 9:00pm and only get one weekend off a month and sometimes 12 hour days).
He (26M) is very lucky his current job is all days and some evenings. Normally 8:30am - 4:30pm, and only works one weekend a month.
He picks me up from work so I don't have to take the bus, it's a 5-10 min drive, and a 45 min bus ride (if I took the bus at night)
Most nights when he picks me up from work and we talk about our day on the drive home(small talk). Once home our routine is; I shower and he goes on his computer or whatever but Sunday and Wednesday we have shows we watch together.
NOW HERE is where things bother me. I feel he spend to much time playing WoW, if it's not Sunday or Wednesday we will get home I'll shower and not really see him all evening, most nights he will stay up late playing and even have trouble getting out of bed for work (some times he is late not often)
I have asked him if we could do something together for 30 min a night... To Talk play a game together something. Because I feel we don't talk any more now that we live together. I have been wanting to have a heart to heart with him for a while but the last couple times I've tried it was late(1:00am - 2:00am ish) and I just ended up crying because I was too over tired.
I brought it up again tonight that I don't feel we talk much any more and he didn't say much but "... we see each other everyday."
Is it to much to ask wanting 30 minutes a day from the person you love and live with? I want us back on the same page. Right now I feel I don't fit into his life. | I want 30 minutes an evening of my boyfriend's time to reconnect and back on the same page but as he says it "... we see each other everyday." * |
t3_35q8gp | relationships | [25F] who keeps ending up with guys who are "not ready for a relationship" | In the past year, I've ended up involved in 2 different relationships with guys near or the same age as me, who after a few months of dating told me "I like you a lot and have feelings for you, I'm just not ready for a relationship right now". How am I supposed to take that? Did they really just figure out they weren't ready or were they just trying to let me down easily?
The latest relationship is with a guy [25] who I've been friends with for 6 years. He got out of a 4 year relationship about 5 months before starting things with me, but he was the one who initiated everything in the beginning. Now 3 months after making the first move and us casually seeing where things would go, he tried to pull the slow fade. I called him out on it and he told me he just thinks he's been really apprehensive about starting a new relationship and doesn't want to lead me on. How do I handle this situation? We're getting together to talk about it all in a few days and I need some advice on how to approach it. | keep ending up dating guys who aren't ready for a relationship; how do I handle this with a friend turned potential relationship who is now unsure of what he wants |
t3_33nbub | relationships | I [20F] am trying to drag my very unsocial friend [20F] of 10 years out of her shell, but I think I'm going about it all wrong... | Like I said before, I'm a twenty year old female and my friend of many many years (also 20F) has always been pretty unsure of herself in social situations, and it has gotten worse since she dropped out of college and had to move back home to our state. She has conveyed to me that she feels like she's stuck in a rut; all her friends are in college, the majority in a different state, while she has to work a low paying full time job, She hasn't had a boyfriend because she's not good with talking/flirting with men.
I have invited her to come to hang out with my friends and I at my college, but my friends are very fast-paced, sarcastic, and outgoing, and I can tell they make her uncomfortable even though they are welcoming. I can tell she feels she doesn't get out enough and really wants to meet people but when she comes to my house I think she just gets more depressed, especially when I'm introducing her to people and she fails at striking up any sort of conversation, or if I stick by her to make sure she's comfortable she feels like she's a burden keeping me from enjoying my own party.
Basically, the only people I can introduce her to are people I know, who tend to not be people she can really relate to, but she has an incredibly hard time just going out on her own and meeting people that share her interests (she might have some social anxiety). | What can I do to make my friend, who has been pretty cut off from society, more comfortable and facilitate her meeting new people? |
t3_3sxyri | relationships | My [18 m] gf [16 f] gets beyond upset with the mere existence of my ex girlfriend (or any other girl friend) from 3 years ago | So the problem I'm having is that my girlfriend gets super upset and emotional every time she sees my ex of 1.5 years (we broke up 3 years ago) her in the hallway at school, sees that she's commented on one of my Instagram/Twitter posts, or anything else pertaining to my ex. (She got upset when my ex replied to one of my moms comments on an Instagram post of mine). She gets so upset to the point of crying and borderline panic attacks.
This extends beyond my ex and goes as far as most other girls that talk to me. She claims that they are flirting with me (she sees any sort of friendly gesture as flirting. A mutual (girl) friend offered to let me wear her banana costume to her Halloween party. That was unacceptable. Please tell me that's as ridiculous as it sounds) She seems convinced that I am going to leave her for someone else, no matter who it is. (She has been cheated on multiple times in the past) Every time I so much as look at a girl she doesn't like I get an earful and she starts insulting them behind their back (how ugly they are, how nasty there, etc) and when I tell her to just stop and ignore them, I get yelled at because apparently I'm supposed to let her shit talk these innocent people.
What do I do here? Will she get over this? Am I wrong for being on friendly terms with my ex? The gf argues that I should not have anything to do with her whatsoever and that I should go as far as to cut her out of my life completely. Our relationship is fine 85% of the time, but the other 15% is just filled with jealousy and insecurity. She's always talking about how much prettier my ex is than her, despite my multiple attempts to convince her otherwise. (Gf is the obviously better choice) We've only been dating 3 months. Is this just part of the "honeymoon" stage? Are we both just immature? | gf gets mad whenever my ex or any other girl is around, despite their not doing anything to me or her. |
t3_1h06ee | pettyrevenge | Very Petty Revenge from a Gas Station Attendant | Being a long time lurker on this subreddit, I'm quite excited to have a revenge story to share.
I work retail, in a gas station. As it is a full service gas station, i am required to go out and pump all of my customers' gas for them. Often, this means I am dealing with 5-6 different gas totals. While this isn't really a problem usually, sometimes when people ask for specific denominations of gas, mixups can occur. Thankfully, people usually offer to pay for excess gas (if someone asks for 20 and accidentally gets 35, they will gladly pay for the 35). People usually see it that they are paying for gas that they were given, and would rather that than make a student pay for their gas.
However, today was not such a case. Working alone, and dealing with 3 customers, a man pulled up to the pump in a large black premium half-ton dodge truck, chrome rims, side steps, you name it. He demanded $100 in premium gasoline. After rushing around to finish the other 3 customers, i returned to the black truck and stopped the gas at a little more than $103 (fuck). The gentleman came in to the store, and was informed that I had accidentally put in 3 extra dollars. He immediately went on the offensive, blaming me for my mistake. He pulled out his credit and loyalty cards, and demanded to pay for no more than $100 in gas. I immediately obliged.
However, I also immediately decided to exact my petty Revenge. Instead of swiping his loyalty card, I deftly swiped mine. There is an extra points deal on premium gasoline right now, and the amount of points from this transaction was quite voluminous.
After he left the store, I redeemed the loyalty points from his purchase for no less than $5.65 worth of merchandise, check and mate. | Customer demanded me pay for his $3 in gas, so I snuck almost 6 dollars in loyalty points from him. |
t3_4i29dm | relationships | Me [17/F] with my ex bf [17/M] dated 2yrs, how do we stay friends? | Since 9th grade this guy has been my best friend and at the ending of 9th grade we started dating. This relationship was amazing. We've had so many great moments together. Alot of fights too. Which in the end a week ago is when we broke up. He said he wasn't happy in our relationship and doesn't want to date. It really confuses me and he doesn't know how else to answer. Though we've been talking for about 4 days now even though we broke up. He wants to stay best friends, I would really love to do this. We both agree we still love eachother.
This is where it's hard on me because when we end up hanging out again, how should I act? We plan on going to a roller coaster park like we always have in the next 3 weeks. This time as friends, I don't know how to approach it. What if I end up wanting to hold his hand or tell him I love him if something he does is cute. He's been my only guy best friend and we know everything about each other, every secret, every detail of our life, we've shared the past 2yrs and neither of us want to give it up. | How do I approach him when we hang out? What should I say or not say? I don't want to ruin the friendship we have and neither does he. |
t3_3164cn | askwomenadvice | My GF gets really confusing during period week and I'd like some womanly insight! | Hey girls of Reddit,
Jesus, I don't understand. My gf gets really really strange during her period. She doesn't get super irritated or angry like most girls seem to, but instead gets really...Well JUST CONFUSING. Like she goes really cold and unloving toward me, then gets really super excited at something that's not a big deal and then gets happy and then goes dead silent like a brick wall again and 5 mins later is screaming LOVE ME and I JUST CAN'T KEEP UP. Like she just shuts down and doesn't tell me anything about how she's feeling or anything so I am left in a permanent state of confusion. Why is it like this? Do any of you do this? Should I just shrug it off as crazy hormones? I'm scared of doing that because I don't want to NOT care how she's feeling. What's the best way to deal with this, because I'm beginning to get really really frustrated since I'm trying to get a sensical emotional response but it's like she's gone insane and it's freaking me out a bit because I have no idea what to make of it. I guess I'm asking you to give me insight into how exactly a period does this to someone who is usually quite level headed. Insight from the other side would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! | gf goes mentally strange during period week and it's very frustrating and I'd like it explained from the other side. |
t3_onyn2 | AskReddit | Ever had a life-threatening/terrifying experience? What was it and how did it change you, if at all? | I have 2.
When I was 16 I was the passenger in a car crash. The car was being driven by the parent of a friend of mine, with myself and 3 other friends in the car as we were all going away for the weekend (there was another car with more people travelling with us). My friends parent fell asleep while driving on the motorway doing over 70mph. All 5 of us in the car got away with just a few cuts and bruises, which was really lucky. No other cars involved, we hit the central reservation and the car landed on it's roof in the middle lane.
2nd one happened recently, and wasn't to me but to my 9 year old brother (I consider this the terrifying experience). He caught a bug over Christmas and was pretty ill, and after he got rid of the bug he was complaining of stomach ache. Within a few days he was admitted to hospital and they refused to believe there was anything wrong. He was at this hospital for 4 days and they basically refused to treat him. Eventually my mum took him to a different hospital who immediately ran tests, operated and removed a blockage from his bowel, fixed an Intussusception and told us to be prepared for test results come back as him having lymphoma. | scarey car crash, lucky be alive. little brother possibly having cancer of the bowel, almost dying cos hospital refused to believe anything wrong. |
t3_1du2dg | dating_advice | Confused 16M (Like that's really new.) | Alright r/dating_advice, this is my first time posting to reddit, but I just don't know how to move along in this situation of mine.
So I met this girl a year ago, and it was kind of that instant smitten thing, you know? (Still wasn't mature in the whole dating thing.) Managed to get her to come to one of my Military Balls, (I'm in a JROTC program in the United States, dance we have at the end of the year.) However, I completely blew it, and I resigned myself to that fact.
So cut forward to this year, I go out with this 14 year old, only for a month cause I burned the relationship out, (I got uninterested in the end, and it was kinda my fault.) However, in that time I begin to re-socialize with this girl, and after a time I get her number again. So we chat, keep up the friendship, yatta yatta.
So one day I'm going to theater, and we get there at the same time. I'm walking in, starting to slow down a little, see what happens. She asks me to slow down, and we chat the way in, seeming to walk in together. Buddies of mine start to tease me in ways only female and male friends can, and one of my friends said she saw her smile at the teasing.
So yeah, I asked her if she was free or something to go hang downtown, she had a band thing so I said ok, fair enough. She says "that would be cool." and broke the touch barrier with me at a point. I also caught her looking at me one time, and I think she caught me looking at her one time.
Wat do reddit. Wat do. | I think a girl's flirting with me, but I'm not sure if I can pick up the signs. Wat do. |
t3_4pm4s7 | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 2 years, don't want to move in with his parents. Is he immature? | Hello fellow redditors, I'd appreciate some insight here. Please refrain from simply commenting 'dump him' as it wouldn't be helpful haha.
So a bit of background: We've had a pretty rocky relationship from the start but have worked through things together (I'm currently undertaking counselling).We moved in with each other after dating for a month but had known each other for 6 years. I have been the financial backbone for most of the time we have been living together, working a lot while studying and seemingly better with money management.
This has been a real issue actually, for me at least. When I try and talk to him about it he says I'm trying to compete with him. I do tend to say it in a combative way so I understand that he gets defensive. Anyway, due to both of us having trouble finding work in the small town we live in we've gone broke. He has a car loan he's trying to pay off and I'm struggling to afford books for university. His parents offered us to live with them and my boyfriend has accepted. At first I though this was a good idea but now I'm having doubts.
His parents live very far from our school and my current job. I could easily afford to rent a room on my own as my expenses are far less. That and his family can be difficult to be around at times. I also fear that I will begin to resent my boyfriend because he plays a lot of video games and doesn't like working or studying at all whereas I'm very motivated and actually find it difficult to do anything but work and study.
I also want to move to the nearby city next year for a better education but he does not want to. I feel as if we've got different aspirations in life. Sorry if this has been a bit of a waffle. I'd really appreciate some advice on what to do TIA. | I love my boyfriend but I don't want to move in with his parents which we are having to do because of financial problems. He is a bit of a slacker and I'm not sure what to do. |
t3_1zeyah | relationship_advice | How do I [24/f] make new friends when I don't have any social activities and am not particularly social? | 24F here and bookish/nerdy but not a gamer. A bit of a homebody. All 5 of my core friends relocated to the other side of the country to go to med-school and it's been a few years. They're not coming back. We skype twice a week but I need some girlfriends to go see a chickflick with, yanno? I don't want to talk my poor boyfriend's ear off.
I would like some advice on how to make some friends that are "here" (West USA). It has been a long time since I've had to do so and I have no social activities that get me out to meet people. My coworkers are in their 30s and/or married, or have kids so that isn't really an option. Not a huge drinker (I do enjoy a beer and a bbq), I don't do drugs and I don't party (in fact, I successfully avoided any college parties while in college), and I am in a relationship. | All my friends are physically gone. I am not that social but would like to make some [girl]friends to hang out with. |
t3_3e24pg | relationships | Me [27 M] with my gf [23 F] of 3 months, have seemed to run out of things to talk about. | I don't know if I'm a boring person, I always felt I had interesting things to say. But lately I can't help but feel incredibly uninteresting. Everytime I call my girlfriend over the phone, we talk for hours.
But there are these periods in between of absolute silence that will last for a long minute before one of us ends up stumbling into a topic we dont really care to talk about.
Are we starting to exit the honeymoon period and realize we're incompatible, or is this normal? To endure long periods of silence amongst each other multiple times? I always envisioned us as a couple that would talk non-stop, sometimes interrupting each other, but now its like we're hoping the other will speak and say something so we dont have to come up with something to say ourselves. I dont know.
Is this issue usually indicative of a boring life? I feel like most people talk about things happening in their lives or people they've met or talked to and other gossip. I dont have hardly any social life and I think in a weird way that might be making this relationship suffer? | I dont know what to say to my girlfriend, and I dont know if this is normal or not, or if its the result of not having a social life. |
t3_250242 | relationships | How do I [M/20]have tough conversations with my girlfriend[F20] and keep in control of the conversation? | Every time I try to have a serious conversation with my GF it feels like it gets turned around on me and we don't end up discussing what I has planned.
This is a problem obviously but I've been managing although not without some frustration.
So what I'm concerned with is I recently got the news I was accepted into a college a few hours away from where we live together, and I have to tell her that.
It's my dream school and I wouldn't pursue education so far away if I didn't feel like it was the best thing for me.
Where my concern comes is I feel like when I tell her she won't see it the way I do. I really feel like this is the best for me and I love her a lot, we've been together for over 3 years since the 11th grade and I would never want to hurt her but I'm afraid she will take this personally. I wouldn't be surprised if she were to say something like 'you're leaving because you don't want to be with me' which couldn't be more untrue, I'm going because it's best for me.
I've just been going crazy thinking about this conversation and want to make sure that it doesn't go sideways and end up with me trying to convince her I still love her or something. | need to tell GF I'm going away to college in Sept and I'm afraid I'll lose control of the conversation. How do I make sure this doesn't happen? |
t3_2i39jx | relationships | 25M needs advice about a girl. | Hey guys,
Hope you guys are well. :)
I just want your opinion on what I should do with this girl I'm interested in atm.
We've known each other for 5-6 years and I would say we are pretty good friends.
Initially when I met her, I liked her for a good while. But back then she wasn't interested in me and I'm kind of glad because I was quite immature in my thoughts of relationships. I have only had 1 relationship before and having that end made me think of things differently.
While I was in a relationship, she was too. And we both got out of the relationship about the same time and we started talking again.
Thing is, we've been talking quite a bit and get along really well. And we've been out quite a number of times and and though they weren't dates, we were quite close.
Now, given our history, I'm not sure if I should pursue this. She knew that I liked her before .. and she probably knows this time around again.
I don't know if I should go for this, or just let this slide and find Another person. I would like to think that I have changed since the first time I liked her. I believe I have become more mature and confident in myself.
She's a pretty hard person to read because she's quite a social person.... But we talk nearly daily, sometimes I start the convo, sometimes she does.....
What is your opinion on this /r/relationships.
. ... Is this worth pursuing? | I've known this girl for 5-6 Years. We're good friends and she knew previously that I liked her... Should I pursue a relationship with her as we are now talking On a regular basis. |
t3_4cik4i | relationship_advice | [19/f] not sure if I want to repair friendship with [20/f] friend, but we have many mutuals. | Hi! So I have this friend that I got really close to last year in a really fast and intense way (which is something I tend to do). She's been a friend of a friend for a while now, but we didn't really click until a few months ago and started hanging out a ton. We have a lot of common interests, I think, but I suspect our personalities aren't as compatible as we both thought.
Also, when we became friends, she was kind of going through a rough patch. Her other close friend isn't the emotional type that you can open up to easily, and all her other friends live far away. So I feel as though maybe I entered her life with perfect timing?
Anyway, a few weeks ago we were having a conversation via Facebook. The conversation in my opinion wasn't anything serious, just me saying I didn't like something about my classes, but she kept telling me why I was wrong, etc. I got kind of annoyed but didn't want the conversation to spiral into a pointless argument, so I just said "ok, you're right, but I still feel ____." She replied "ok." Kind of a closed door, I thought. So I changed the subject to something I thought she'd be interested in, and she never replied.
We haven't talked since. The thing is, I'm not sure I really want to figure out where I went wrong with her. Like I said, I don't really think we're as compatible as we thought. We had a friendship honeymoon and now it's over, and I'm kind of tired of being her friend. I'm usually fine with letting a friendship fade away before it becomes toxic, but the issue is that all of our friends are mutual friends. So you see the problem of letting things 'fade out.' | Friend of few months stopped talking to me, not sure if I'm willing to try to patch things up, what do I do now? |
t3_1b3606 | relationship_advice | [18/f]I've had this crush[22/m] for roughly two years and through two relationships, help please! | As I said, this crush has stuck with me for much too long and I'm not sure how to handle it. He and I are co-workers and I am leaving the company, so there would be no 'office romance' problems here. I just recently got out of a bad relationship with a man who I had fallen out of love with long ago (stuck with him because of hope feelings would be rekindled...no dice). This guy who I've had a crush on for so long is someone I know I shouldn't have feelings for. He is the type of guy who *knows* he is hot and has openly admitted to not 'chasing' after girls but instead only goes for girls who chase him. He does seem to be pretty insecure about himself but, aside from all of this, my feelings for him have remained. I have tried my damnedest to hate/dislike him, to the point where our boss thought we hated each other, but I can not stop myself from smiling when he walks in, or from laughing at the littlest things he says... As soon as I ended this last relationship, I started to hang out with him and his friends. We both had a good time hanging out and just having fun. I need to know...should I admit to him my feelings even though I want to remain friends? Or would telling him my feelings be too much of a risk for our friendship? | Have had feelings for a co-worker for years and now that I'm leaving the company, I want to know if I should open up about my feelings, or (for the sake of the friendship) remain silent. |
t3_3b620e | relationships | I [18M] want to get another tattoo for my birthday, my mother [48F] is strongly against tattoos and I'm afraid she might stop talking to me, what should I do? | I want another tattoo for my 19th birthday, my mother does not know about the one I already have. My mother is very strict against tattoos and I'm afraid she will not talk to me or help me out with money for college once I go back. Where I'm from tattoos are very frowned upon as they are associated with cartels and criminals and such. My mother is a local businesses owner and she says that one of the reasons she won't let me get tattoos is because she doesn't want people to find out and think badly of me or her. She said I can get tattoos once I'm out of college and have my own job (which will be running the business). I'm the only child so I don't know if that might have something to do with it, I already have a tattoo on my upper left arm (which you can't see at all it's very small). I want another tattoo on my forearm or something to cover up my first one. I've tried talking to her about it before but she always gets mad and ignores the question. What should I do? Have any of you been through this? Should I just wait until after I graduate? A little off topic but she also becomes very violent and mean when she drinks and I don't want her to be mad and drunk knowing that I have a tattoo and she ends up snapping on me. | I want a tattoo and my mom doesn't approve of it and I'm scared she'll either ignore me or go batshit crazy. |
t3_142i8i | AskReddit | So. I just had the cops called on me for dialing a wrong number that I don't remember making. What's your best wrong number story? | So, I work for a small company as a customer service representative. We only deal business to business, and never deal with the public. We never make sales calls to the general public.
Today, I received a call from a lady who had apparently received a call from us demanding to know who we were and what we wanted. I tried to explain to her what we do, but she would have none of it. She then began demanding to know how we got her number. I ended up hanging up on her because I couldn't get a word in edgewise, and she was clearly insane.
She then called back, so I transferred her to the owner of the company and she gave him the same spiel, but this time adding the caveat that she was a security officer at a bank. Being a little less prickly than me, he calmly explained to her that it was just a misdial, and told her to have a nice day.
Fast forward a half an hour, I pick up a call from a lady claiming to be the phone company, and she was collecting information for someone filing a claim against us. So I prodded for a little more information, and told her I knew who she was calling about. This is when I made the mistake of saying "Yeah, she called in earlier and she was very rude and kind of mean to us."
Fur flies. "I am the one who called you! I was not rude or mean!" At this point, I just kind of lost it. Words were exchanged (no vulgarities from my end), she told me that we would hear from her attorney, and she called me an asshole.
Immediately after she hangs up, the phone rings again, and I quote:
"I just spoke with you a moment ago, and I just want to let you know that I am a security officer, and I am calling the police and reporting you. Have a nice day."
The police still have not shown up. | may or may not have dialed a wrong number, lady calls back, threatens legal action, tells me she will call the police. |
t3_3phrrf | relationships | I'm (23F) gutted to find my ex (31M) of 2 months moved on to someone else so fast. | I don't actually understand myself at all and am actually pretty ashamed of myself for still holding on to this loser of a guy I was with. All my friends and family can't understand why I'm not able to see him for what he was and move on.
Anyway, I did the worst thing possible, I lurked his instagram (first time in 2 months). It seems that he has been dating this girl only a month after we broke up. I looked on her page and there are all these photos them on dates to places he would take me and these sexy selfies she took of herself in her underwear lying in his bed.
Now I know how bad this is and how I really have done this to myself. But the deeds are done and after feeling like I was finally letting go, now I feel like I'm right back to square one.
Yes our relationship was brief, but it was intensely passionate and we went through quite a lot. I had no choice but to break it off with him because it became so toxic and now I find that he has moved on so quickly, I just can't help but feel so pathetically disposable.
I haven't been able to think of another man since we broke up, let alone date another guy. I've tried to get back into dating but it only just makes me miss him more. This is what really gets me, he has left such an adversive impact on me and after everything we had gone through, he can just move onto someone else so quickly. | Has anyone experienced anything like this? Can anyone share some guidance as to how they managed to overcome this nauseating feeling of being so quickly replaced? |
t3_3p8wgg | relationships | Me [29F] with my SO [30M] of 2 years - I'm pretty smart, but incredibly stupid. Help me not be a woman-child? | I read stories of people's SOs who sound incredibly frustrating to live with. I am not dumb; went to Ivy League school, won lots of academic awards, near-perfect SATs... but I'm so dumb. This weekend I closed the dishwasher too hard and broke wine glasses. I hurt my hand by putting a metal spoon inside a blender that was turned on. I can't really tell time and had to skip all the questions on SATs that had circles in them because they take me too long, despite getting a 5 on my AP BC Calc exam. I can't remember the order of the months and struggle with remembering what days go after which in the week. I cry at every emotion; have been to therapy, been told I have no effective "filter" and experience everything I see/hear/read as if it's happening to me right now.
What's going on? People who know something about this, can you give me any advice that could help me do better so I'm not insanely annoying to live with? SO wants to move in together; I'm terrified. | I'm not stupid, but I do incredibly stupid things. I'm scared of living with my SO because I'm so dumb. Don't want to be a woman-child. |
t3_1ffxy1 | offmychest | I'm stuck socially. I cannot figure this out, and it's infuriating. Having moved relatively recently and not knowing people, how do you do this?! It's such an absurdly simple question, but I can't find an answer. | Maybe my hobbies (videogames and music) suck for meeting people. Maybe I suck at TRYING to meet people. It was always so easy before, in school, because it was the same people daily, or it was living in a social environment. Now it's renting my own place, going to work daily around different people (contract work) and mostly non-peer coworkers who display no real interest in anything with me except work.
So I tried MeetUp. Nothing. I don't like bars. I'm pretty damn shy, but I'm also pretty damn normal. Not ugly, not stupid, not out of shape, but not very confident.
How did YOU meet people after college? Did you ever? Is it weird to just say "hey, you wanna grab a beer after work" to someone you work with temporarily?
I don't even know how to continue this post. | How do you meet people after the "school" part of life? Late 20s, working with non-peers (older married people as a single person), with generally non-social hobbies? |
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