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t3_36wfhk | relationships | I [15M] got rejected by my friend [15F], need advice. | I met this girl (let's call her B), 1 year ago. We spent time generally messaging, also spent time with her in school. I thought her as a friend, when I started talking to her I had a crush on someone else, which I asked for a date and got rejected so no problem with that. But then I started developing feelings for B. I usually connect people easily so I started liking her. So time passes, I decide to ask her out. So I ask her out, but she says likes someone else, and I say it is ok. But then we go some kind of no-contact, we used to chat everyday and say hi to me school, but she isn't saying something anymore. I am actually ok with her rejecting me, but I don't want to lose contact. So should I talk to her, or can't be friends with her anymore. It feels like we know each other long that can't go no contact anymore. I need advice. | Asked a friend out, got rejected. We don't talk any more. Don't want to lose contact, need advice. |
t3_4cjwcb | relationships | Me (23F) with my boyfriend (21M). He got his wisdom teeth out last Thursday. Am I being unreasonable by eating normal food? | I'm on mobile, sorry for formatting!
So basically what the title says. My boyfriend got his wisdom teeth out, and his surgery went awful. Long story short, he ended up with stitches on a couple teeth. He's terrified of getting dry socket, so rather than having to deal with that, he's been eating yogurt and pudding for almost a week now.
I like to eat. So I made myself breakfast today, (sausage, eggs, potatoes - things he loves also). I also ordered Subway for lunch today because I didn't pack myself one. It's also his favorite.
The issue? I was super excited because we got coupons in the mail today for my favorite restaurant, which he's not very fond of. I was telling him about some of the deals, because I'm not smart and forgot that he was not eating, and he said to me: "Will you please just stop talking?" And then left to the other room.
I don't feel like I've done anything wrong other than being an idiot, but he's making me feel so guilty. He's been so rude to me lately, I'm getting fed up with it. I've bought him yogurts, pudding, ice cream, orange juice, and cooked him mashed potatoes and eggs when he's asked for it. What more can I do? I know it's rough for him, but he won't let me help, and I don't want to have to starve myself just to make him not grumpy. Sorry if this all sounds kind of stupid, but it's been affecting my moods, and it sucks. I've never helped someone through surgery recovery before. I want to eat and not feel guilty about it, damn it! | Boyfriend being rude to me because he can't eat after surgery and I can. I've tried to help him out the best I can, and I don't know what I should do from here. |
t3_202p6g | relationships | I'm [27M] meeting my ex-girlfriend [25F] for lunch. I want her back. How should I play it? | I had been dating this girl for over a year. She seriously was the best thing that ever happened to me. However, we had a few problems towards the end. Basically, I was moved for work to London briefly, and this brief period went into a few months. During this time, I was supposed to go and visit her, and her family. I delayed unnecessarily and she was patient, up to a point. The suddenly, I had to go to Paris and that was the last straw. She broke up with me. I did not take it well and effectively blamed her when it was my fault. Things have not been good since, however we have exchanged some texts and emails. I feel like if I get her to see me, I can get her back. I miss her dearly and she means the world to me. I was a fucking idiot and screwed it up. I am in town, where she lives, and I sent her an email basically "to hang out and see what happens". I feel like she will come, she's that amazing. How can I play it to get her back? I wanna casually see her as friends before I say I want her back. There has been some drama and unfortunate incidents but we both said some shit we regret.
Reddit, I want her back and I need some advice on how to do it. | ! - I was stupid and lost my girlfriend. I want her back. Meeting for lunch and want some advice on best way to approach the subject. She has given no indication she wants to get back together yet. |
t3_3dq0jk | Advice | Bad experience in a strip club need advice. | So basically I'm on holiday with my friends in Malta. Last night we headed to Paceville which is the main clubbing area here as we did the night before.
The night before we checked out some of the gentlemen's clubs here and had a great time, brought some drinks for the girls and chatted a lot of bs as you do. So then we each paid around 40euro and had a dance. Anyway back to last night, we headed out again for the same thing tried a few different clubs and ended up at this really nice looking place with some great girls. After a few drinks we decided to get some private dance. These were a bit more expensive, after paying 100euro for a very good dance, i decided to treat myself and go VIP for another 200. Once we got in there she brought in a few shots of tequila and then her friend join us. This started fantastic and as id been told before id paid for 1hour and full nudity. Now we never actually got to that part. When in there they both just kept trying to get me to pay 500-2000 euros to sleep with them to which i declined many times but they wouldn't stop. After around 30minutes the girl i originally paid for left. And the other was saying id had my time and was still trying to get me to pay for sex. I left and spike with the manage as my receipt was for 2:16am and i pad for the hour which i didn't receive but he didn't care. Now i was happy to pay that amount for the time but obviously didn't get what id paid for. Is there anything that i can do to get my money back after being scammed like this?
Obviously i have learnt a life lesson here and will stick to the small stuff if I'm ever in a similar situation. | went to a strip club and paid for an expensive 1 hour session, which I didn't receive, is the anything i can do or should do in the future to get my money back ? |
t3_kx138 | AskReddit | Why do people think it's so abnormal for a man to be attracted to a 15 year old? | Ok, for any other species once a female is able to sexually reproduce they start having sex and making babies. This is normal. This is how we evolved. It would be a waste of energy to be able to have babies and not have babies. Having sex with a prepubescent female would be abnormal of course because there is no chance of procreation, but once a female has gone through puberty it makes logical sense for them to start having sex with any fertile male. Yet, when a man is attracted to a post pubescent female of the age 15 or 16 he is seen as pedophile? I mean does this make sense to anyone?
Personally i have a gf of 22 years old and am not attracted to young girls for a variety of reasons but to argue that men shouldn't be attracted to post pubescent girls of young age is like arguing against evolution. | if you think its abnormal for a man to be attracted to post pubescent young females like reddit jailbait, you're disregarding simple logic. |
t3_33ltcq | relationships | I [23 M] found that my girlfriend [21 F] of one year has been deleting all her facebook/whatsapp conversations. I don't know what to think of this. | Throwin away because she knows my real account name. I should also mention that we are currently in a long distance relationship.
Two days ago we were watching a movie when I saw her pressing a "delete conversation" button on the Messenger mobile app. After a long talk, she told me that she does this all the time and that she could never hide anything from me. I also believe that she truly loves me right now (she gets paranoid about me sometimes), so she could be hiding something that happened in the beginning of our relationship.
A few months ago, there was a guy that was really into her and they would give rides to each other all the time since they live nearby. After the long talk, I asked her if she also deleted all the conversations with this guys, to which she said yes.
I honestly have no idea on what to think of this, to me deleting conversations means that you don't want anyone to see them. However, she says that it is really normal and most people do it. What I'm looking for here is to try and understand if this is a common procedure. I have never ever deleted a single conversation, do people usually do it? And why would they do it?
We've been together for a year and she has never done anything that would make me not trust on what she is saying. I know that right now the only thing I can do is trust her, but I just wanted to get other points of view whether deleting conversations specifically implies that there is something to hide or not. This is really disturbing me and our relationship has never been so much at stake like it is now. | My girlfriend deletes most of the conversations she has and besides knowing that the only thing I can do is trust her, I'd like to know if this implies she might have something to hide. |
t3_1lc15v | offmychest | I've had a bad few days... | My dog is dying. She is sweet and beautiful and 14. It sucks. She's been peeing all over the house, and it's gotten to the point where if she falls asleep on the wood floors in the kitchen, I have to physically pick her up when she wants to move.
On top of that, I'm working three jobs right now and living with my parents. They treat me like a lazy screw up since I spend almost all of my free time sleeping and not getting ready for my senior year of college as they'd like. But I'm exhausted all the time. I stopped taking the Welbutrin a shrink had me on earlier in the summer since it made me lose too much weight, but I think that coming off of that is making me more tired.
Then today I woke up nauseous and tired, but went into my part time job as a valet anyway. I had a 10.5 hour shift set up and want to keep my managers happy since they control whether I get crappy shifts or good ones. Anyway, the company I work for states a strict policy for doctor's notes to call in sick. I figured I may as well suck it up and work since I wasn't about to go to urgent care ($45 copay) for an upset stomach to get a stupid note. I drove all the way to work in cold sweats & trying not to hurl (50 minute drive). I was doing ok until I had to drive my first car of the day. It smelled like bad cologne. I ended up having to sit on the ground in the parking garage until I was sure I wasn't going to be sick. My supervisor saw me, got pissed that I came in and sent me home after 20 minutes. He's right, I work as a valet at a hospital... but it was that or lose my job for not obtaining a note for what is probably food poisoning. I know it's irresponsible to expose others to my illness, but I feel more and more like I'm backed into a corner every day and I really needed the hours. | I'm working a lot so I can finish college, my dog is dying, my parents are pissed with me, and I spent more on gas to get to work today than I will get paid. |
t3_wou2y | AskReddit | [Roach problem help] Is boric acid safe? | Hello there. I want to solve our roach problem without any pesticide if possible but I'm forced to try out roach baits. One problem though that I observe is that the german roaches are 'learning' to avoid the baits thus resulting into fewer and fewer visible kills each day. I don't know if the roaches are truly dying inside of the walls and I'm not satisfied yet.
I researched for non-toxic ways to kill roaches and one of them is **boric acid**. I also saw many positive response with it. My only problem is that when I read its material safety data sheet, it stated that it is dangerous when inhaled. So I'm a little bit worried about my family having to accidentally sniff the boric acid dust.
..
Will the **boric acid** 'fly' or will it settle permanently once applied?
For this problem, I'm thinking of buying P. F. Harris Roach Tablets, but I'm still worrying that someday they'll be broken down and become dust that can be accidentally inhales by someone in our home. What other nontoxic roach solution can you recommend?
..
Please help me. I'm going to lay down the additional roach baits tonight. Thank you for your future responses. | Is boric acid safe when you used it? Will it fly or settle when applied? Coz I'm worried about the safety of my family. TY |
t3_164am5 | relationships | My boyfriend [19M] woke up one day numb to all emotions incl. his love for me [20F]. What do I do? | Hi reddit! First post, but you all seem pretty helpful and I'm very confused!
My boyfriend [19M] and I [20F] have been going well for a while now [4 months, but were together 4 years ago and feelings never disappeared], we had a minor trust issue from before we were together, so I gave him a call one night after work and we talked it out. We resolved it, my trust was healed, everything was great! We got off the phone and he messaged me he was sorry and we had a quick conversation about how we loved each other and how happy we both were now. Excellent!
He doesn't talk to me much for the next couple of days, I finally get into contact after feeling like he was acting a bit weird (we talk often, generally) and he tells me after our conversation, he was falling asleep and could feel something big was about to change in him, and the next morning he woke up totally numb to any emotions! I asked him if he would see me (I was a little distressed at this point) and he said yes, we saw each other later and talked. Didn't feel any love for me at all (had recently mentioned a future for us with children) and couldn't even remember how loving me had felt a few days prior. Though the numbness was all encompassing, he couldn't connect to his music, his friends, or anything else.
I said I'd support him and wait as long as he needs and he asked for time alone (as he felt he wanted to be single forever at that point). I love him and want to be with him and I'm happy to wait, but I still feel pretty lost.
Question is, how would you deal with this? I'm pretty upset, but so is he because he can see me hurting. And I don't know if he will ever be back to the way he was.. (This is probably also half vent though.) | Boyfriend and I had emotional conversation that ended well, he woke up numb to all emotions and couldn't feel any love for me anymore. What would you do? |
t3_28dmun | relationships | Ex (39m) wants to try again in a few weeks. My friends tell me I should move on and that he will only likely hurt me again. I'm (27F). | He has been separated from his wife for a over a year, but he still lives with her. We dated for about 2 months, I met his family (except his wife of course) a few weeks ago, he met my daughter as well. Last tuesday he broke things off with me because of his home life and how terrible things are, his wife is suppose to be moving out July 1st. We went no contact for a few days but this past weekend we talked a lot and he said he wants to wait until July to see what happens. He says he doesnt want to move on just yet, but doesnt want to be in the way of my happiness.
I fell for this guy very very hard and he told me he was falling for me as well prior to breaking up with me. I've been a complete wreck for the last week, but I'm hopeful that things will work out. All of my friends think in the following weeks he will change his mind and he stringing me along because he doesnt want to feel guilty about me hurting. I don't believe that is true, I just think he is confused about things and wants to see how things work out once his wife is out of the picture.
So I guess I'm asking reddit for advice because even though I'm extremely hopeful, a small part of me is worrying that things may not work out in the end. | ex broke up with me last week, wants to try again in a few weeks, friends want me to move on, but a part of me wants to wait and a small part of me is worried I'll get hurt again. |
t3_2v9sbh | relationships | Me [19/F] with my boyfriend[20 M] of three years recently got back together but he doesn't want to tell anyone we're dating again? | We've been dating for three years, took a break back in May but got back togehter. Nothing's changed, we always acted like we were in a relationship anyways except now there's a label on it. I made a facebook request to show that we're together again, I know facebook doesn't matter and so I hid my status on it. Then he told me he wouldn't accept it because he doesn't want people to know we're dating again. Period.
I was at his house the other day and his little brother came into the room and we were playing games; I slipped the word 'boyfriend' then he whispered to me telling me not to call him that. He doesn't want his family or relatives knowing we're dating again either.
His reasons are a) He doesn't want people knowing we're dating against because apparently people warn him not to get back together again and he doesn't care what they think. It's just annoying for him.
b) His parents don't approve of his relationships unless it's a guyanese or philipino girl. Wtf? We've been dating for three years and he never told me this before. I feel wrong being around his parents now...
Just to let you know, I haven't done anything terrible to this guy I'm pretty sure. He broke up with me back in May because he was worried over school and stuff. Otherwise we never had any huge fights besides the small miscommunication here and there. I'm confused, should I be okay with him not being open about our relationship to other people? Everyone assumes we're just good friends now. | Boyfriend of three years took a break for a few months, got back together recently but he doesn't want anyone to know about our relationship. |
t3_2d6bpd | Advice | Girlfriend's father is a lying, abusive, and all around scumbag. | I'll try to keep this as short as possible, and anonymity is important, but I can say that we're Canadian (for any suggestions about law enforcement).
So my girlfriend (let's call her Jane) doesn't live in the same city as her father (let's call him Bob); he's about 3 hours away in a small town, but has to deal with the fact that he has consistently stolen from, and emotionally and physically abused members of her family, and people who have been briefly involved in his life.
Examples for context:
-Donna (not her real name) is one of Bob's ex-girlfriends, she essentially lives in fear, Bob has emotionally and physically abused her in the past, and has shown no hesitance towards doing it in the future. Donna has a very close relationship with Jane, but really can't see her due to fear that Bob will become jealous and abusive.
-Bob frequently steals prescription medication from his elderly mother to fund whatever legal or illegal activities he engages in.
-Bob has attempted to convince everyone that he has had cancer for the last 10 years, I would describe him as either a hypochondriac or the worst kind of attention seeker.
It has gotten to the point where Jane can't sit back and shrug off what's happening, but there are some problems with calling him out on his bullshit:
-One, or more of the many previous victims of his abuse could become the target of his anger, he has made threats at Donna just for hanging out with Jane without him present.
-Jane's mother (Bob's ex-wife) has been the target of abuse in the past, and could be in potential danger.
Jane really doesn't even want her father involved in her life any more, and while I have suggested notifying law enforcement about potential threats to the various women he has abused, we aren't sure they would be able to do anything.
I'll provide any clarification in the comments, thank you for your consideration. | Girlfriend wants to break off any connections with her scumbag father, but fears for other's safety due to his abusive past. |
t3_4i09f7 | relationships | Me [31F] with my ___ [30M] 14 months, he wants us to exchange passwords | Using a throwaway. The title is meant to say BF. I messed that up.
My boyfriend, Dylan, and I have been dating for a year and a half but exclusive for 14 months. We've recently moved in together after we hit the year mark. We wanted to take our time and make sure that this was right. The sticking point though is about our digital privacy.
Dylan wants us to exchange passwords so we have access to each others information. He's been cheated on before so naturally I understand his instincts with regard to that. That said, I work with confidential information and while I will allow him access to *some* of my accounts, he cannot have access to all of my emails. Dylan is very upset about that because he says that if I trust him it shouldn't matter because I should know that he won't tell anyone if he sees anything he shouldn't. I take my job seriously and feel like he's being disrespectful by even asking me to jeopardize my job like that.
How do we fix this? | My boyfriend wants access to my emails. I work a confidential job and can't allow him the full access that he wants. What can I do? |
t3_4le2k2 | pettyrevenge | Cashier revenge | First time poster long time lurker and I finally decided to get an account. I figure I should post something small.
I work in a department store in Canada (think stripes) and we have a rewards card. For some reason our security team wants us to make gift cards with people's points instead of redeeming them at the end of a transaction.
This means that if I scan in your items and you want to redeem your points I would have to void the transaction, check your points, and if you have enough, make a gift card, then scan all items again.
Typically we won't do that and the customer will either dismiss it or we would just deduct it at the end.
Today I had a particularly shit day and I was ringing through a lady and just put in her scratch and save manually on each item. After all this she goes, "Oh! I think I have points to use."
So I smile and I say my that's no big deal, next time if you could just ask before so she knows the next time she has points.
"Well shouldn't you have asked at the beginning?"
Now on top of my shit mood this just irked me the wrong way. I just smiled instead of explaining that not everyone collects points and I'm not checking every card before hand because that is a whole separate transaction.
My revenge? Instead of just attempting to deduct points at the end I voided everything. Then I checked her points (a whole new transaction AND she didn't have enough). And then I had to scan in her items but, whoops, the scanner isn't working. Let me slowly type in each sku and woops messed up let me try again! | Customer wants to redeem points she doesn't have at the end of transaction. Watch me slow everything down for you. |
t3_4e5wa8 | relationships | Me [26 M] with girl I met online [25 M/F] got her number, didn't get a response, she texted me two weeks later, no response again. | So I met a girl on an online dating site, we talked for about 3 days before I decided to get her number so I could take her on a date soon.
I texted her about 3 days later and never got a response. This is nothing new in the dating game, I figured she may have lost interest or whatever, so I accepted that as a sign.
Two weeks later I woke up from a nap and saw she randomly texted me "Hi there" around 4 PM on a Saturday. (Probably not drunk). I was pretty surprised but decided to text back to see what she wanted....never texted me back.
Usually I can accept things like this, but this particular instance seems really weird to me. Any clues? | Got her number, texted her, no response. Week later, texted me, texted back with no response. How can I make sense of this? |
t3_jyvy0 | AskReddit | As a closeted gay man, would it be deceptive to propose to a woman I love? | What is the deception if I won't ever act on the homosexual attractions? Hear me out.
I'm a twenty something closeted gay dude who has no plans of ever coming out. I've accepted that part of it is cowardice on my part, as I'm afraid that my extremely conservative family will disown me and I'm not willing to endure a lifetime of ostracism by others. I know I shouldn't give a fuck about what other people think but there's a cost to that that I'm not willing to pay.
So while I'm glad that the societal currents are slowly changing in a manner more favorable to homosexual couples, there are things about being in a heterosexual relationship that I yearn for. Specifically, I'm at a point where I'm ready to settle down and start a family. There's just something about creating life with someone you love that I hope to someday experience.
I like to think I've done a good job hiding the fact that I'm gay. I dated girls in high school and have only had sex with girls. Not to delve into stereotypes, but I have a pretty masculine demeanor [and am pretty athletic] so I don't think I've ever triggered anyone's gaydar. I've never acted on my physical attraction to other men, but I guess my only outlet has been watching gay porn.
But before this gets any longer: I have been seeing this girl for over a year and I am madly in love with her. We have sex regularly; obviously, she gets more out of it than I do and she has never complained, even though for me it's just *okay.* I'm seriously considering proposing to her by the end of the year.
My only reservation is that this wouldn't be fair to her. I love her enough to deny myself from ever acting on my homosexual desires. A part of me is worried that when I'm 50, all this pent up restraint will explode and force me to practice my wide stance at an airport bathroom stall or something. At this point, though, I plan to be completely faithful to her. So would it be deceptive to ask someone of the opposite sex, whom you love, to marry you, despite being a closeted homosexual?
[ | ] Why would it be wrong to propose to a chick if you like bangers in the mouth, but are in love with her? |
t3_1615fl | relationship_advice | [20/m] am losing intimacy in my relationship with my girlfriend [21/f] | My girlfriend and I have been dating for over two years now. We met in high school while she was an exchange student, studying in America. We stayed together despite living in different countries, and have made multiple visits to see each other for month stays each time. I am now taking university classes in her home country to be with her for the whole semester. Starting in Mid July her greencard will activate, and she will be financially stable enough and she'll be able to stay in the U.S. for good. In the first year or so we had a very good sex life. We were regular and were both happy with the ways things were going. Over this past year, we were very active sexually the first few days each time we were able to see each other again. However, after the initial romance of being reunited wore off, there was a definite decrease in her sexual desire. We went from having sex once every few days to onc a week, then once every two weeks, and eventually to once every month, despite my advances. I realize that sex is not a necessary part of a relationship for me. However, the lack of sexual desire has turned into a lack of what I'll call intimacy as well. For example, I can not get her to make out either, and her chest and private body parts are off limits. I have tried talking to her about it numerous times. She says a variety of things back such as "I just don't fel like it", "It could be the birth control messing with my hormones", and "Sex is not everything in a relationship and it makes me sad you want it so much when I don't". I feel unhappy that despite my best efforts I can not educe her. I lose much of my confidence because of this. I am beginning to feel these issues leak over very slightly to other aspects of our relationship. Does anyone have advice as to what I can do to fix this? What should I say when I talk to her again about it?
I also want to add I know what she likes sexually, and how to romance her, and feel that this is not necessarily the issue, although it could be. | I am losing intimacy with my girlfriend and despite my best efforts I can not seduce her. This makes me unhappy and it's hard to have the confidence to try again. |
t3_3h5c2t | legaladvice | [AZ] Criminal ticket, not for speeding. | I drove from Los Angeles to Tempe, AZ, and after entering in AZ jurisdiction, I had the urge to take a piss, and there wasn't any building or structure in sight. So, I did what everyone would have done, I pulled over, went behind a bush and took a piss. As I was finishing up and walking back to my car, a cop car that spotted a car that spotted on the highway (my car) from afar, and decided to drive to me. At this point, I hopped on my car and drove off.. and later to be pulled over.
I was given a citation, and the violation is: DUMPING TRASH ON HWY, when in reality it should have been URINATING ON THE SIDE OF HWY. I retained a lawyer, because I don't want any chances of me screwing up. This is 'criminal' and not 'civil', I am talking about here. I told the lawyer exactly what happened, and that I was urinating.
My lawyer requested a discovery, and their office received the police report. This was what my lawyer wrote back to me...
"We actually just received the incident report this afternoon. I will have [REDACTED_NAME] forward a copy to you for your review. The officer reports exactly what you told me, so I think we have a very strong case."
Apparently, the office wrote DUMPING TRASH ON HWY, but on the officer's narrative, he explained that I was urinating, which is inconsistent to the violation mentioned on the report.
I would like to ask for your opinion, and what you think? Might it be thrown away from prosecutor perspective, because it is not worth the time, resources and the money to fight an inconsistency violation reporting? | Got criminal ticket in AZ, retained a lawyer. Violation on the report is not the same as what was in cop's narrative. Due to discrepancy, lawyer feels confident this will get thrown away. Your thoughts? |
t3_1eq02x | relationships | My SO [24M] doesn't want to help me [19F] pay for school | Like the title says, he's 24 and I'm 19. We have been dating for over a year and a half now. Our relationship has been rocky over the past few months, but things have been good lately and we are both doing alright financially for the first time.
I'm a full time student working part-time. He just started a small business and makes a decent amount of money from it. During the beginning of our relationship, he struggled with money and relied heavily on his family and I for support.
I'm going away to college in the fall for 2 years and my parents are undertaking the financial burdens of that. I still have 10 credits left to take in community college before getting my transfer degree, and without financial aid for the summer, it's rather expensive for me. Around 1350. My parents offered me $500 and have asked me to pay for the rest.
I asked my SO to help me out with this and he seems very hesitant. Recently, I have seen him drop quite a bit of money on random things that he doesn't really need. I would say in the past 2 weeks, he has spent 500 on purely random merchandise that was not crucially need in anyway. For example, an 120 dollar hand vacuum.
Now, I'm not trying to be controlling with his pockets. It's his money and he's normally pretty responsible with it. I'm just upset that he seems hesitant to help me out with this, when money isn't much of a problem for him anymore. And for the greater half of our relationship, I helped him SO much. For example, we went on a trip to Vegas this past summer. My parents paid for the plane ticket, and they helped me pay for the hotel, living expenses, show tickets etc. He hardly contributed at all with that trip.
How can I communicate this to him without sounding like I'm trying to extort him? Which he even excused me of. He says that this is my parent's responsibility and I shouldn't give up so easily on that. He says that he should be a last resort. | My SO is being selfish with his money, in regards to my education. How do I communicate my point of view without starting a fight over this? |
t3_14jwsw | dating_advice | Is she into me? And if she is, how would it be best for me to ask her out? | First off, I've never really been in this situation of having to determine whether someone likes me and then planning on asking them out as I have been in a long-term relationship since I was 14 (I'm 19 now and had a years rest after we broke up too as I didn't feel in the right place to try anything with anyone).
Anyway, there's this girl on my course that I quite like. However I dunno whether she likes me. I don't really see her that much as she isn't in my group and doesn't really attend lectures that often but I'm big friends with one of her flatmates so see her alot when they're both together. She doesn't seem to not like me, which is a start but I dunno how much she feels for me after that. She does seem to giggle at things I say quite often and when I was a bit stressed at not being able to do some work recently she kept saying "Aww" and finding it cute that I was struggling but then maybe she just does these in a friendly way. So what do you think?
Also, I was planning on maybe talking and getting to properly know her and then asking her if she'd like to go out one time at our course's Christmas night-out on Tuesday if she goes. Considering I obviously haven't had alot of experience with this having not really been in a relationship properly since the 4 year long one I'm very nervous about it and any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks | Girl might like me (Details in the first paragraph) but I don't know whether she really does and I wondered what you guys thought. Also, what way would be best to ask her out if it's worth it. |
t3_3kzq5b | relationship_advice | [15/m] trying to get a girl i like [15/f] | Hey guys, so i have no idea if im in the right subreddit for this, but im looking for some advice on how to get this girl. This girl is in one of my classes, so I talk to her as much as possible, like asking for the homework on fb, ect.
Anyways, I just don't really know how to move on from where I am right now. I've known this girl for about a year, but not very well at all, and the only time I've messaged her outside of school was to ask for the homework. I dont know much about this, but I think it would be a little weird/creepy if I said something like "oh that shirt look good" or something since I don't really know her that well. I pretty much dont know how to get to know her better, and I am usually very outgoing, but for some reason I can barely form a sentence around her, so she has made most of out 2 second conversations. Whenever I talk to her I try to smile (not too wide but friendly) and look into her eyes, is this weird, or good? I am pretty much asking you guys what should i do to get to know this girl better, maybe something that would lead to a relationship? | How do I start to talk to a girl I dont really know more/outside of school? What are some good tips when speaking to her? |
t3_18sesd | relationships | I [17m] like a girl [18f] who goes to my school. | I met this girl last august and we became pretty good friends. We text each other all the time and it came to a point where I really liked her. I told her I liked her and she said "Please don't tell me your falling for me."
According to her, she likes a guy[19m] who is joining the airforce and he's gone for the moment. Her parents really don't like him and she told me one night that her parents were hoping that she would fall for me so she would forget about him.
Heres the problem though, I don't know if I should try and move on or keep at it. I know that long distance relationships tend to fall apart, but she seems to really love this guy. I'm afraid that if I find someone else, then she will become available and I would have missed out on the girl I truly like.
Lately though, we haven't been talking much and I'm trying to make an effort to start talking to her again. Need advice on what to do. | I like a girl, she likes another guy(it's currently a long distance relationship). Don't want to find someone else because she might become available. Need advice. |
t3_397r7y | relationships | My [30 M] girlfriend [28 F] has kept sex videos of her exes. | I've been seeing this girl for around 4-months. As the relationship has progressed, we've spoken more about each others previous encounters and past relationships. She's had a lot more and a wider variety of experience than me and it makes me quite insecure.
Once, we were talking about porn and it came out that she's recorded videos of her and her exes. Ok, that's one thing. But, she's still got them around on her hard drive. I couldn't really get my head around why she would keep them. We essentially disagreed and left it at that. Another time we joked around in a sex shop. I commented that some of the dildos were quite big and asked if size mattered for her. Well, it turns out it does and I'm not the biggest guy in the world, perhaps slightly below average. I asked her if her ex was big and she said yes, and that the sex was pretty good.
Now, she's still on contact with this guy, claiming they are just friends and message each other every other day. He invited her to his birthday and she wanted me to come. Now my mind simply thinks of her having these videos on her computer every time she mentions him name. There's no way I can meet this guy with these things in mind.
I do get anxious when she is around her guy friends, but accept it and don't make a topic from it. The facts she insists on keeping these videos is something else though.
I'd honestly prefer her to delete them and cut contact with him. Maybe if I did meet him I'd feel better, but with the impression I have in my mind, it's just not going to happen.
I'm a bit lost over this. I don't want to control her, or make demands but I'm so uncomfortable it's kind of damaging the relationships. | Girlfriend revealed too much about her previous sex life and still has videos of her and her ex. Not sure how to move on. |
t3_2qnghf | relationships | My ex (26/f) broke up with me (26/m) 5 months ago after 2 years and it still hurts. | I need some encouragement. Pretty much I'm having trouble falling for another girl. I'm interested in some girls at work but I just feel like they won't be as good as her and what if I can't fall in love with anyone else?
I could see the relationship falling apart. We both made mistakes and honestly it was my first serious relationship. I didn't know how to handle problems with her and I think we moved in together too soon.
The trouble is she resembled my mother and it made me fall in love with her so much more. I still think about her all the time. I loved her so much and I fucked it up. She cheated on me and I knew we were drifting apart but that doesn't change the fact that I see her face every time I close my eyes. Still after being apart for months I feel like it still just happened.
I don't think this is healthy. I'm in therapy but I am still having trouble. | I am having trouble believing that there is anyone else as beautiful as she is. Is this just because I got used to her face? Will I develop this with my next girlfriend? |
t3_3f6rpy | relationships | I [25/F] can't move past my ex [26/M]. We dated for 3 years. It's been 2 since we broke up. I really want to move on. | It's been ages, I've loved other people, but I still think about him all the time. Even though I know if we got back together we'd end up remembering why it didn't work the first time around, I can't get thoughts of being with him out of my head. Recently he's been unofficially "seeing" a girl who was a friend of his at the time we were dating. I know I should be happy for him, they get on really well and they've always been close. But I feel like beating the shit out of her. It frustrates me to the point of crying. Why am I so territorial? I haven't even lived in the same country as him since we broke up, it's been two years and I've only seen him once or twice since then. I've felt this way about him since we broke up, these longings and such. Seeing her with him just makes it sting all the worse. How is it possible I can still feel this way? What can I do to move past this? | Never got over my ex of 3 years. It's been 2 since the breakup and I never stopped thinking of him. Getting back together isn't an option, I want to move on. |
t3_2030cb | relationships | My (18F) best friend (21F) bails on plans to hang out when I offer and rarely makes efforts to hang out with me. I just saw pics of her and her bf (20M) at a SXSW and I'm pretty bummed. | So I've known my best friend since high school and when we're together, it's pretty cool. We're not attached at the hip. We just have healthy respect for each others spaces but her constant bailing on hanging out is starting to irk me. She rarely takes the initiative to invite me anywhere (even though I see her doing stuff with other people all the time). Also, I've been trying to get together a trip for us to Austin (we've talked about it since high school) and she knows I love the place. I just saw that's she at SXSW with her boyfriend and I'm kinda irked, but I'm trying to keep cool since it is her boyfriend and all. Anyway, any advice on how to deal? | my best friend from high school bails on me all the time, never makes plans with me yet i see her hanging with other people all the time and it's bumming me out. |
t3_25hwxc | Parenting | Anyone dealt with Montessori schools and discipline, or lack thereof | **Background**
The wife and I have a son, age 5, that was recently selected for a Montessori program in our school district. The school is publicly funded and spaces are given away by lottery due to overwhelming demand. He joined the school in April under the pre-k program and will remain in his current class for kindergarten.
**The problem**
The school thinks that my son is having behavior issues and that he may not be cut out for montessori. They cite the fact that their students are supposed to be independent, but that my 5 year old is incapable of even going the bathrooms by himself (they often find him crawling under and over, yes over, the stalls). He only completes one "section/center" or "activity" per day, whereas his peers complete anywhere from 3-5.
**My take (and my wife's)**
While there is a chance that our son has a mild attention disorder we don't see much difference between his behavior and that of his cousin (same age) or our neighbors kids. They're all rambunctious boys with lots of energy. We think the issue is a lack of discipline in the school. The teacher seems very hesitant to call us about behavioral issues and apparently there is no consequence for any bad behavior (all redirection)
**The question/s**
1. What has been your experience with Montessori education and discipline?
2. Any suggestions? | My childs Montessori teacher thinks our son isn't a good fit for Montessori, but we think he just needs a firmer hand when it comes to discipline. Thoughts? |
t3_2ps0r7 | relationships | [M15] with my grandmother [??F] | So to start ever since I can remember I have had a phobia of getting my head wet. This recently came up in a conversation with my mother. I had never known or been told this before but once when I was very young, to the point where I can't remember, I splashed my grandmother on my father's side. She then put a towel over my head and poured water onto me, my mother was there but didn't know what to do and didn't know anything about the consequences of this could be.
After doing some more reading into after finding out a few month ago, I figured out I was in some way water boarded. I am really mad about this, my grandmother who I rarely see lives quite a distance away as in a 4 day drive so I don't see her more then once a year. My mother has pretty much told me not to mention it, as it would upset my farther.
I don't know am I wrong to be upset at my grandmother for this? She can be a witch sometimes but this kind of really made me dislike her.
It sucks not being able to swim because I always hated getting my head wet. I am slowly trying to get over it, but for such a simple thing it is freaking hard! | As a child my grandmother water boarded me, I still have problems getting my head wet due to some type of long lasting phobia. Am I wrong to resent her for it? |
t3_52rv9w | relationships | My [30F] anxiety is making it impossible to leave an unfufilling relationship with my BF [29M] of 3 yrs | Sorry is this is a little all over the place. I have a hard time keeping my thoughts straight lately.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We moved in together after about 6 months.
He is a genuinely good person, but I know he is not good for me. We don't have similar values. He is not active, is serial unemployed, he enjoys hanging out and smoking weed. I am very driven and 'Type A'.
We have very different sex drives. I know it is probably due to him being overweight and a pot-head, but I can't get over the fact that he would rather watch porn than have sex with me. The kissing has completely lost any spark, when we kiss I feel like he is repulsed or completely detached.
I am not by any means an unattractive woman but my self-esteem has hit rock bottom. I suffered from anxiety throughout my life but this relationship is making it 100 x worse. The strong person in me knows it is time to move on but the anxiety keeps telling me this is good enough, that if I leave I will be alone forever. It makes me doubt myself and think maybe since I had no real model of a healthy relationship growing up I'm overreacting and he is actually a great partner and it's all me and my insecurities ruining everything.
I'm scared. I cry a lot for what seems like no reason. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to be independent and strong and healthy. I don't want to be alone and miserable. I don't want to lose someone who loves me.
Fuck.
Does anyone else have a similar experience? How were you able to get enough strength to move on? | I understand my relationship should not continue. Too anxious and depressed to leave. Terrified and completely lost about what to do. |
t3_3eohcb | relationship_advice | A question of morals [f/22]: cheated on and cheated(?) | So to avoid a gigantic story, I'll start with this: my boyfriend and I were together, and separated for five months. The breakup was vague and clean. Just kind of broke up because we weren't communicating... Little did I knew he slept with someone before we broke up. I found out months after when we stared talking again. I was devastated obviously, and he was unclear why he did it... I obviously get it. Our relationship was on the rocks and instead of being mature about it, he decided to prove to himself that he didn't give a fuck. I forgave him for it and told him he needed to work on getting my trust back....
A year later, I believe something happened when wasted with a friend. I have a vague memory, which I thought was a dream... But being that inebriated I am unsure about what happened. I slept in the bed with my best friend, and while I wanna believe it was nothing, however I can't help this guilty nagging feeling and I don't know what to do about it. My boyfriend and mine's relationship was a bit rocky because we're doing long distance, but ultimately we have decided to work on it and move forward with our relationship. But now this... It's like we finally got over all of our issues, and it's taken so much for me to resolve it. I absolutely have no idea what happened.
I don't know if I should bring it up with my boyfriend (obviously the right thing to do is talk about it...), or try and just deal with whatever it was that happened seeing as it's just a foggy dream like memory of him reaching down my pants. It's got me anxious, borderline panicking, because I would be lost without my boyfriend and never want to hurt him like he hurt me... And he'd kill the other guy. | my boyfriend cheated on me, and there is a possibility I cheated on him (or maybe was taken advantage of) while black out drunk. What do I do??? |
t3_447jgf | relationship_advice | My gf feels like she messes everything up, she really doesn't, but how do I help her understand? | She is constantly under bombardment at home because she feels she isn't good enough in the eyes of her parents. She was caught smoking weed about a month ago by her father and things have since settled down. He hugs her and says he loves her but he has a temper and tends to be very stern when he needs to be.
That's the backstory. But yesterday we were on our way out to trade in an old guitar, she accidentally dropped it and it got pretty badly damaged. I was obviously upset because my guitar was damaged, but it wasn't her fault the strap slipped off. She saw the look on my face and ran inside to the bathroom and started crying saying how she ruins everything and she's just a burden on me. I consoled her and told her that I would love her no matter what and that was my promise to her. She still feels like shes a failure and is very insecure about her body and her life in general. How do I help? | Gf feels like everything that goes wrong in her life is her fault, it's clearly not always the case, how do I help her? |
t3_4p9jzx | relationships | Four months after the fact, a bout with depression, and multiple palate cleansers later I'm still not over it. | I'm a 20 year old male needing help getting over a 20 year old female I wasn't with for long, but fell for.
Things with me and the only girl I've liked in college stopped in February. I was already in a pretty bad depression, but this put me over the top because I was sad, but really I just felt dead again. A lot of things were "wack" to me for a very long time, things are becoming fun again. I took up hobbies/ working out again to beat the depression, and have had great progress, but I'm still not over her.
I've done everything to try to get over it. Everything. Forgave her internally, Forgave myself for my regrets, stopped talking to her , pictured her fucking new guy, I've been getting with other people since right after it ended.
Anyone have any idea how to get over it? I do things to constantly rip the bandaid off and shatter the idea that anythings ever happening again, but four months later and I'm still not over it and it doesn't help her sorority and my fraternity are always together and we're both here this summer. I have to force myself to hookup with people. Most times it's a response to seeing her and I've been cutting it off at any sign of emotional connection from the people I've been hooking up with | Need help getting over a girl, Same social group with multiple partners/strategies tried to get over it for four months |
t3_2333fu | relationship_advice | I (19/M) had to break up once because of distance, how do I stop it again. | Hey everyone, this is my first time on this sub because usually I'm just floating around r/Sex and r/Relationships but I'm here because I have a small issue with long distance relationships. To be frank, I don't know how to have one.
Before I became a freshmen at college I was dating a girl that I had been friends with for 3 years and it was fantastic. We really opened up to each other, there was good communication, we always had fun together and she was a great girlfriend... But then the time came and she had to leave for school and there is no way I'm ever going to put a relationship over education and she got into M.I.T. So there wasn't even a second choice in mind. We still talk and are great friends I even went up to see her with my current girlfriend.
And that's where we come to our new problem, the girl I am dating now (19) is at school here while I am leaving for Albany in the fall (hopefully at least) and it has affected us negatively. We both don't want the relationship to end and we really like each other. She is friends with my family, friends, and even my previous girlfriends. Everything is literally perfect about this girl and she is the first girl to communicate as openly as I do which makes every problem get resolved in seconds. We both want this to continue but we aren't sure *how* to continue.
Is there anyone out there who has had a successful or currently ongoing long distance relationship. I just feel like this is Boston all over again but in reverse and it sucks. | I've already lost one good relationship to long distance, what can I do to keep a long distance relationship going. |
t3_1dk35x | offmychest | To the girl who works at GameStop | Posted this on a throwaway before, but forget that. I know her name, but won't say it here. We'll call her "Ginger Goddess" here. She knows who I am. We have seen each other in the street, and given each other that "You're attractive" look you give strangers. But I have to say I really am attracted to her, but am too damn shy or nervous to say anything. She's exactly my type. Full bodied, a little nerdy, not intimidatingly attractive. I don't even like video games, but go to GameStop just because she works there. That says something.
I just had to get it off my chest that I think you're the hottest thing ever, and you and I would make a kick ass couple. I doubt she is a Redditor, although she seems like she may be, but if she is, cool. You know where to find me. | OP wants the girl at GameStop like a fat kid wants cake; is too shy to do it in real life, goes on Reddit and does it. |
t3_3zfkhp | relationships | I (21/M) can't deal with my (43/F) mom or her side of the family since the divorce. Considering cutting ties. | Alright to start things off my parents got divorced about 8 months ago. I ended up moving out with my dad because he was struggling financially and emotionally. Things were touchy with my mother for awhile but we mended things. She did however insist on talking to dad through me about my sister (9/f). It got old quick but mom and dad were in no shape to talk so I bore the burden.
It came time to make a choice and my dad, sister (18/f), and I moved back to Florida to be with family and to find work. Things were seemingly smooth for a short while. We did have issues with my sister smoking pot and playing loud music every night on the patio in our apartment complex. She kept wanting her friend to move down here with us but we said no. Repeatedly.
Christmas rolls around and things got dicey. I felt unwanted at moms side of the family. Remarks here and there but nothing bad enough for me to say something. Just bit my tongue for the families sake. I brought my sister (9/f) to see my dad and his family but not before more remarks and demands about dad is not allowed on the property. The night ended with mom texting me saying I had to bring her home early and basically ruining my night.
Mom bribed my sister (18/f) to come visit for New Years and now suddenly she doesn't show up at the airport and mom is waiting for my dad and sarcastically says "you two have a lot to talk about". Basically rubbing it in my dads face that "she got her daughter back". There was no communication, no call, no text. We had to find out by showing up to get her from the airport.
There's a lot of other things that have happened in between as well. Rude remarks to me, they all think I hate them because I moved with dad, moms new boyfriend came out of nowhere really quick, her friends are huge pill pushers. There's a mountain of things that I could probably write a book about! | My moms side of the family has become too much, the stress is killing me and it only keeps getting worse. How do I handle this? |
t3_vm1yl | AskReddit | Reddit, can you suggest ways to increase my happiness and value in life? | Okay, some may think that some of the stuff I say is for attention but it's just how I feel. I don't have any close friends any more, the only close person was my girlfriend and she has recently broken up with me. I want her back but she doesn't want to talk much because she says she wants to "get over things". The main part of it is though, she made me happy when nothing else would, for the last 3 years of my life I have felt my life has small to no worth, I've never properly achieved anything, I live too far away from anything to be able to go anywhere easily. What do you suggest I do to make myself happier? | Closest friend no longer wants to talk, no hobbies or anything, need ways to keep myself busy/ achieve something. |
t3_2t0w3r | relationships | Me [23 F] with my fellow interns [20s M/F] at an upcoming intern event | Hello r/relationships!
This coming summer I will be interning for a large software company in California (I've already received an offer). I am flying out there in 1 week for an intern event. This event is to meet other interns, meet managers, and see the office/hang out.
I am usually a pretty shy person who keeps to myself. What are some ways that I can make the most out of this intern event? I really want to make a good impression on the managers that are going to be there too. I would look some insight into how to network and approach new people. I usually find myself nervous in situations like these and sometimes just end up quiet and not talking to a lot of people.
Thank you in advance :) | I would like some advice on how to make a solid first impression with fellow interns and managers at an upcoming intern event in California. |
t3_3ezeeu | tifu | TIFU and almost died | So I live in SoCal, im a little hungover and jammin out to chance the rapper while takin my dog for a walk in the hills. The whole time im just looking down at the trail to make sure i dont trip. Im wearing a snapback forwards so it limits my view in front of me while im looking down.
As i am about to put my foot down i see this big ass stick with a pretty sick pattern on it. I look a little closer and my face turns to O_O. It was a sleeping rattlesnake. Being the dumbass i am i yelled HOOOOLY SHIT out of adrenaline, pretty sure anyone that was on the trail in a half mile radius heard me. The thing curls up, rattles it nasty ass tail and hisses louder than a sprinkler does when it first turns on. I start bookin it, but i dont put my back to it cuz if that shit starts chasing me we gonna have some problems. Thank you jesus buddha or whoever the fuck decided i needed to live today. It didnt move cuz it was just trying to catch the last rays of the sun for the day.
The rest of the walk my dog was lookin at every single twig there was to make sure it wasnt a snake. She was flippin shit too. Here i am sitting on my couch thankful to be okay with my feet still telling me i need to run. That thing was atleast 5 feet long. | shit went 0 to 100 real quick when i didnt watch my step and almost stepped on the biggest rattler i have ever seen in my life |
t3_25s6q6 | relationships | I (25m) feel lonely though I have a gf (23f) of nearly 5 years | I have a live-in girlfriend and a 3 year old daughter, as well as some cats. The relationship has pretty much always been kinda shitty, but she's trying to make things better; however, I'm still dealing with all the shit she put me through.
I feel utterly lonely when I go to sleep at night and am getting counseling from a therapist to get my head on straight, but every couple of weeks I keep getting this nagging feeling I should leave the relationship. The only two big reasons I haven't left yet are my daughter and the amount of responsibilities I feel toward my gf... I'm in a self-made cage and I don't know if I can get out without destroying myself and my gf in the process.
I still love her, but I feel the romance it's gone. Also, I have no friends where we live, and every time I try to make any, my girlfriend somehow throws a wrench into the gears by "needing together time" or by being sick and needing to be taken care of while also needing our daughter to be taken care of. I suppose I just really need someone to talk to who understands... | My girlfriend was an utter bitch earlier in the relationship and I don't know what to do here and now, looking for an empathetic ear |
t3_3amtl7 | relationships | I [20 M] thought I was recovering pretty well from my break up [20 F] after 2 months with no contact, but with summer starting I´m starting to have those post-break up feelings again? | Me and my ex had a relationship of 4 months, it was really intense and amazing in many aspects, but it ended due to constant fighting and a consequent feeling, from my part, that I didn´t love her anymore.
We broke up nearly 2 months ago, and I still feel emotionally dependent on her. I know for sure that I don´t love her, that I don´t miss most of her, and that all I ever felt for her was probably just infatuation and a very short and intense passion, which I know, for sure, that I don´t feel anymore.
Despite all this, I still have those residual feelings towards her, I get nervous knowing that she will be in the same place as me, or that she could show up at any moment and start a conversation with my friends. I find all that pretty normal, we had a very close relationship and all that.
I´ve been busy, doing things that are good for me, going out with friends, playing my guitar. And I thought I was doing pretty well. I still think about her like a lot of times per day, I dream about her and all, but those thoughts doesn´t have a very negative impact on me or my actions, they just pop up has the result of it being a recent and important event in my life. Sometimes I feel a little crappy, of course, but overall I´m doing well.
The thing is, summer started, and some of those random thoughts seem to be having a impact on me. For instance, I went to the beach today, and I was commenting on the beautiful girls I saw with me friend, and I could only think that a lot of guys will flirt with her when she goes to the beach. I hate to be affected by this kind of stuff.
When will this go away? | 2 months after breakup, sometimes when I´m doing things I´m having fun in, I remember my ex and get sad. |
t3_3kw2kb | tifu | TIFU by drying off with a shitty towel [NSFW] | So this happened earlier today before going to work. Wasn't entirely sure if this was NSFW.
I've been living in a dumpy studio for about a week now due to being a stereotypical struggling college student. I'd been doing an assignment all day, but then really needed to take a dump afterwards. As I was sitting on the toilet, one of my greatest fears was realized: no toilet paper. No paper towels, no napkins; nothing aside from printer paper, which I'd previously tried in a similarly desperate situation and was not willing to risk again.
Instead, I reached for one of the brown towels hanging on the towel rod. I figured I needed to do laundry tomorrow anyway and that I'd buy toilet paper on my way back from work. So I used the towel to wipe, and threw it onto my laundry hamper for later. Then I went to play some video games before I had to get ready for work.
Here's where I fuck up.
The time to get ready comes, so I take a quick shower and all that other prep work to smell and look decent. I leave the shower and pick the same shitty towel from earlier without even bothering to remember I wiped my ass with it earlier. In one swift motion, I start drying off my face with that exact place and smear ramen-laced turd all over. It took me a second to realize the smell and immediately I jumped back into the shower. Having to wash again made me late for work and get written up. | Wiped my ass with a towel due to a lack of options. Forgot about it until I started generously applying a smelly face mask after I got out of the shower. |
t3_nuzgm | loseit | So I couldn't find a diet I liked, and I made up my own. | I had gained around 60 pounds over the summer. It was getting bad enough that I was huffing and puffing up the stairs. Or carrying grocery's in. I searched around for quite a while on the internet. Tried all kinds of diets, but they were so hard to stick to. I tried the starvation one, and the low carb. I tried about 10 different ones. Then one day I was like, my problem is I always feel like I'm starving. So I came up with an idea.
I started eating just a little bit less every day. Basically taking 1 spoonful of food out of my bowl or plate a day. The next week taking more and more. Eventually my meal size got down to like half a pot pie. I shrank my stomach so I would eat less. I know this seems weird, but I went from 183 to 149. In about 3 months. Maybe less. And I'm still losing weight. My goal was to get back down to 120, but as a 30 year old woman (5'6'') that seem unrealistic. This was super easy, because the smaller your stomach, the less you need to eat, the more weight you lose, and the less hungry you are.
If your going to exercise you should still maintain a higher calorie diet. But I am rather sedentary and don't need very many. | ? I shrank the size of my stomach, so I eat half a pot pie (or about that size) twice a day. I drink a ton of water and juice. You just eat a little less every day. |
t3_32woqw | relationships | Me (36f) single for 3 yrs. Finally meet a good guy (34m) he wants fwb. Not sure what to do? | I was in a dead bedroom relationship for 12 yrs. Single now for 3 yrs. Only a few short lived relationships in that time. Mostly just either periods of being alone or having fwb.
I'm ready to have a relationship now. Actually open up and fall in love again.
This man seems great. I would very much like to try dating him. But he's onky been out of a 2yr relationship for a few months. He's very busy with work and is not ready to date but wants a fwb situation with me. I've told him I'm looking for more. He says we should just do fwb for the time being until he's ready to date again - possibly in 2 months when his work schedule lightens.
Not sure what to do. Will giving into a fwb situation with him ruin our chances for dating when the time is right?
Thanks! | I'm looking for a relationship. He's newly single, too busy for a relationship. He wants just fwb. if I give in will this hurt our chances for dating in future when he's ready? |
t3_2072ph | relationships | Me [27M] with my girlfriend[26F] 8 years on and off, keeping tradition with best friend | In a long-term relationship with a girl I've been 'with' and 'not with' for about eight years. The relationship itself is going great. We've both been through some pretty shitty people to get here, and have a great appreciation of each other now. Thing is...
There's an event that I attend every year with my best friend. It's nothing sleazy or anything like that, but I won't say what it is since it'd be pretty easy to identify me from it. The reason I'd rather not be identified is I have a mentally unhinged ex who had a MASSIVE problem with my best friend (purely because seeing him took time away from her) and, subsequently, with me keeping this tradition.
I told my girlfriend earlier that I was about to start planning this event, and she sounded very deflated. She did that "oh no, it's fine" thing that I know from experience means isn't fine.
What I'm wondering is, is it unreasonable to ask to attend an event with just my best friend, especially when it's tradition? Am I being unreasonable in that request, since both my current and ex girlfriends seemed to have a problem with it?
I promise it's nothing sleazy, untoward, criminal, tasteless or any of that. It's just a thing that we do every year. | Neither of the girls I've seen in recent history like me keeping a perfectly innocent tradition with my best friend. Am I being unreasonable? |
t3_lo37z | AskReddit | Found a national security risk at work, boss is holding it from us, advice please (more info inside) | Hi Reddit,
first I want to apologize if this comes off as racist or blunt, but I am just trying to tell the story without sparing details and including what may be relevant.
At work today (I am a phone technician at big Telco, I repair phones) I was testing out some old micro SD cards that had been left behind and/or replaced to see if there were any we could use for 2nd hand stock. The process is essentially put the SD into a phone, check that it reads the contents and if so, format the card and recycle it. Anyway, while looking through micro SD's today, I found some videos and photos of an Arabic looking man using what looked like an ak47 just shooting off into the distance. At the end of this video there is clearly a small pile of blood on the ground near where the man had been standing. The video only lasts about 30 seconds, and could be passed as someone messing around with a gun. Alongside this, there were several photos on the card that pictures several different men posing with guns. Lots of different guns. I told my manager straight away. he is holding onto the card after viewing the video. I want to take it to the police and at least get it checked our, better to be safe than sorry right? But he says it breaks the companies privacy policy on the matter, and I shouldn't have seen the file in the first place. My manager is also of Arabic ethnicity, and did not seem to be concerned by the video (maybe desensitization?) But I feel I should be able to say something about this.
What can I do? I know these files may mean nothing, but I also feel that my boss may be underestimating this. If I go against him I may face discipline as I am still quite new to this job and can be fired without notice. | found a video at work that shows a man shooting a gun with blood on the ground and photos of said man with other men and weapons, but boss won't let me tell authorities. |
t3_u5ruc | Advice | Agreed to let a friend of a friend who is a registered sex offender use my home address for his residence. Now I get a registry renewal form in the mail and have no idea where this guy is. Now what? | A few years ago a friend of a friend, who is also a registered sex offender, had no permanent home address. He was essentially homeless and had been living from friend to friend. Stupid me let him crash at my place for a few weeks and use my address as his permanent address.
Anyway, I travel a lot for work (usually 3 weeks at a time) and I just got home yesterday to find in the mail a "Sex Offender Registry Annual Address Verification Form." It was sent out on May 18th, and says that "Failure to return all pages of this form within 10 days of receipt is a felony and may result in the issuance of a warrant for your arrest."
So now what do I do? I have no idea where this guy is. Are cops going to come busting down my door now? Frankly, I've told this guy enough times to change his god damn address that I no longer give a shit at this point if it he gets arrested again. Can I call the registry and tell them that he no longer lives at this address? I really do not want cops answering my door, for the sake of embarrassment from neighbors, and it probably wouldn't look too good if my boss or a coworker swung by my house to see cop cars stationed there. | At this point I no longer give a shit about this "friend of a friend." I just don't want to deal with this horseshit anymore and want to avoid cops coming to my door. What do? |
t3_49zkfh | relationships | I [24 M] really like a girl [25 F], it seems she is in doubt about us, wants to find the perfect guy. | Hi all,
I'm having a really hard time trying to think what I should do, and it's driving me crazy :( This has been going on for about two years now, save some interruptions where one of us went abroad for a couple of months.
I really like this girl, and sometimes I feel she really likes me too, but then when I ask her if she wants to do something I get no response. It seems to me she is not sure if she likes me enough, as if she's looking for the absolute perfect guy. I'd like to tell her that you cannot know in advance how a relationship will be so you shouldn't overthink it. In my opinion we should just date and see how things go but I'm unsure if I should tell her this. I think it would look like I were trying to persuade her.
The problem is, I cannot go on like this. I haven't had a girlfriend for a few years now and I would like to have a relationship again. So, bluntly put, if she stays in doubt, I will start looking for someone else, however hard that may be. But I don't want that, because I really like this girl :(.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated! | I like a girl, girl seems in doubt about us being perfect for each other. I want to tell her that she is overthinking. |
t3_4zhd59 | relationships | My (24/F) long distance military SO (25/F) of 2.5 years cheated on me and has been for months. Don't know how to recover. | Edit: I'm 24/M
So we met while we were both in the military and stationed overseas. We dated for 1.25 years happily together and living together for 6 months. It came to a point where I had to leave due to separation and after long talks, we decided to keep trying.
Times have been better or worse since then with both of us struggling to keep at times, but to my understanding pulling through healthily.
I'm the last few months though, I realized just how perfect she was for me and flew out with my brother to see her. I felt like things were going well and I've been ready for her to get home and commit to making her a Happy woman
Well, it's about 30 days until she gets out of the military and 45 until she would move in with me. She called me this last weekend, on her last port call of her last deployment and told me she had cheated on me, but wouldn't tell me who with. She said it was one time and that she couldn't be with me, and that I shouldn't want to be with her, then she went no contact with me.
Over the last few days I've struggled painfully to get through my first few days of school and life, but today she told me that it was with her roommate, someone I considered my brother, and when I contacted him he said it had been going on since March. Bear in mind I visited in June, and he said that it stopped the week I was there and continued after I left. He said it was my fault for making her distant and not comforting her and that he was there when she needed me.
I'm devastated. I don't know what to do and I can't stop drinking. I know I need to move on and focus on me, but I don't know how. Please, I just need your advice | My SO cheated on me and has been for months with someone I considered a close friend. How do I recover and where do I go? |
t3_21ys48 | relationships | Me [34 M] with my great first date [37 F], I had a *great* time with her, when to text/call her?? wait a full day 24/36/48 hours? | Last night I had a *great* date, i felt she was very easy to talk to and the conversation just flows very easily. During the time when we were talking, she was flirting and placed her hand briefly on my forearm while we were talking and telling me stories.
I walked her to the car, gave her a hug good night and I sent her a text last night asking if she got home ok and wished her a good night. She did respond and thanked me for the beers and wished me a good night.
Now this woman is amazing, I'd really like to see her again. But I dont want to come across as strong or desperate or clingy or anything like that.
So, when do I msg or call her again? | Had a great date w/ an amazing woman, I'd like to contact her again, how long do I wait before I contact her again? a day? 24 hours? 36 hours? 48 hours? |
t3_1td39a | offmychest | I fucked up in school and now I don't know what to do... | I am currently a junior at a 4-year college and this semester was not the best for me. I'm currently going through depression, I have been since the summer and because of it I started to neglect my school work and when I tried to get my shit together, it was already too late. I received an email saying I would be academically dismissed from the college, and quite honestly, I don't know if I want to appeal the decision. Part of me wants to try and go back to the school but I am greatly terrified that the same thing will happen and I'll be forced to drop out entirely, another part of me wants to stay home, look into a therapist, work somewhere to save money and start over once I get my priorities straight. I'm really scared to talk to my dad about it, while he's never the kind of person to talk down to me or disapprove of what I do, I feel this might be the one moment he becomes disappointed. Has anyone been in this situation or could offer me some insight to figure out where to go from here? | got dismissed from college after neglecting school work due to depression and I don't know what to do or how to explain it to my dad |
t3_24i3bx | Advice | Will I seem too overeager/clingy? | Hey there!
So story goes: I've come out of a relationship around a month ago which ended quite badly. I am gay, so keep in mind this is coming from a girls (overanalysing) point of view, haha.
I had been talking to another girl for majority of last week, who came out of a relationship around the same time. Just casual 'getting to know each other' type of thing, we have a lot in common and conversations ended up being massive novels really.
I ended up meeting up with her at a club on the weekend. Things went well, ended up hooking up for majority of the night then went our seperate ways home.
We have been talking on and off this week, which is good. I had mentioned on Wednesday if she wanted to come to casual drinks with some friends and I on Friday (today), which she said sounded like fun.
I haven't spoken to her since Wednseday afternoon and now today is Friday. I would really like it if she did come, but I don't want to seem overeager or clingy.
I'm terrible at reading signs and always seem to psyche myself out.
Would I seem too clingy asking her if she was still interested in seeing each other tonight? I had sent the last text so I don't want to feel like I'm pressuring her.. haha. | Don't want to seem overeager to a girl I've been talking to, but am actually really wanting to see her. |
t3_325t9d | dogs | Question about vests (non-service) | As the weather is getting warmer I have been taking my Maltese on little errands, outings, etc. He HATES when people approach or pet with out asking and on more than one occasion has made a child cry when they tried to pet him and he growled (just growling btw, NEVER has snapped).
It doesn't bother me that the kids cry because parents should be teaching them to ask first anyways, but I would like to get one of those patches that says "Please ask before petting" or something like it to at least reduce the times where I have to say "Oh he isn't feeling friendly today" (where really I mean: He hates your grabby kids! lol).
I guess where the problem lies is what I put the patch on. He is VERY fluffy even in a short cut so I worry a t shirt will keep him too warm and compress his fluff. I wanted to buy one of those vests because they seem to allow a lot more airflow and are less constricting, but I worry it will look too much like a service vest. I have so much respect for service animals and their owners so I don't want to in any way insinuate that my dog is a service animal. | Do you think a PLAIN vest with an "ask before petting" patch will look too similar to a service dog? Like this one: ? |
t3_4ebobx | relationships | Me [18F] is worried that this new girl [18F] is flirting/moving in on my BF [18M] am I overreacting? | Hi Reddit, So its like almost 3 am in Australia and I can't sleep because I am that worried and upset.
There is this new girl at our school, and she has taken a liking to my boyfriend of 3 years. She sit's next to him in classes I am not in, she does like this flirty wave at him, she added him on Facebook as well.
I checked out her Facebook and I am not joking it is nothing but pictures of her half naked wearing lingerie, there are several of her licking a banana (sure it's not hard to imagine what that symbolizes), bending over and all these seductive poses.
I have this sick feeling that she may be closing in on this guy that I love with all my heart. Seriously the best three years of my life have been with him.
I feel like I want to talk to him about this girl and tell him I don't like him being around her, but at the same time I feel like that is being to controlling and I may just be overreacting
Does this situation sound like I am thinking to much into it and am I worrying and overreacting for nothing or should I talk to my BF and tell him I don't like him talking to her. | This New girl at my school has been flirting on my boyfriend, her Facebook full of suggestive images has gotten me even more worried. Should I tell my BF I don't want him talking to her |
t3_2ti6e0 | relationships | 6 months into relationship [26M] with my girlfriend [24F] - both introverts, lack of communication - is this a problem? | Hello everyone, long time lurker/reader here.
So I started seeing my now girlfriend 5-6months ago, she's great, we get on great when together.
We are both pretty quiet/introverted/happy in our own company - which to begin with was a good thing, in past relationships with extroverts I think I (and she) always felt a bit pressured to be outgoing/social all the time to meet the expectations of my OH.
So this works really well, I like her a lot - it's the relationship I dreamed of, lot's of independence/trust/little pressure - plus she's gorgeous! :)
Unfortunately we both suck at the "feelings"/communication side of things...I got used to sending/receiving regular "miss you/love you" texts, calls, invites, chatting every day etc in past relationships, with my current gf there is very little of that, we regularly don't talk for a couple of days...despite this suiting both of us (plenty of alone time/independence) it does make it difficult to know how she feels/where she stands on "us".
So am I just being insecure/feeling ignored, should I accept that this lack of "mushy/feelings" chat goes part and parcel with the positive side of the relationship...or is this something that needs talking about? I don't want to make her uncomfortable, I know that "emotional talk" doesn't come naturally to her, Plus things are great when we are together in person so why make a fuss?
From my perspective,I'm used to ME being an emotional black-hole when it comes to communicating but is it a problem when both sides of the relationship are the same - one doesn't prompt the other? Anyone in a similar position? | Get on great when together, but neither of us are good with "feelings" / communication - making it difficult to tell where we stand with one another?. |
t3_38c5x4 | relationship_advice | [20/F] Had a fight with my [23/M] friend and I don't know what to do | So I recently had a practical test for my course. My friend whom I shall call Jay. So, after the test, Jay told me that his friend and my fellow classmate (let's call him Vincent) cheated in the test by paying a postgraduate student to finish one of the tasks for him. He told me not to tell anyone about it or Vincent would have gotten in big trouble. A few days passed, and I had forgotten about it until another classmate of mine told me that another girl in my class had been caught cheating. This made me think of Vincent and his cheating (he cheats all the time, btw. This isn't the first time). So I told this classmate about it as I felt that it was really unfair for the others in the class, and she told me that I should let the tutor know. So before I went to tell the tutor, I told Jay that I told the girl about Vincent cheating and he told me not to tell the tutor. The girl then started berating him to let the tutor know and he eventually gave in and said that he would tell him himself. It was pretty obvious he was mad, and he later went to talk to the tutor. I apologised to him later in the day that I let out the secret when I already promised him that I wouldn't say anything. I explained my reasoning and apologised a lot of times, and he said it was fine and that he didn't tell the tutor the whole truth.
But the next day, he completely ignored me and did not say a single word to me so it is pretty clear that he is still mad at me because we usually talk a lot. So, I didn't say anything because I feel like I already apologised enough and I already explained my reasoning behind why I did what I did. So as of right now, I'm not talking to him until he talks to me himself. It's the first time we've fought, but I feel that he's being really unfair towards me because he's done wrong by me a lot of times prior to this but I've never treated him the way he's treating me now.
What do you guys think I should do? | Had a fight with a friend because I told someone else a secret (that a friend of his cheated in a test) and he is now ignoring me. I already apologised but he's still ignoring me. What should I do? |
t3_112mek | relationships | I [24 F] need careful wording for an engraving for my step-father's [55? M] Christmas gift. | This is kind of a unique situation, so thank you guys for bearing with me :)
My mother [55 F] has been in a relationship with my step-father for almost 4 years. They are not married due to financial reasons but do wear wedding rings and call each other husband/wife. My biological father, at the age of 54, passed away in 2008, and my mom and biological father were married for 21 years until his death.
I want to get my step-dad a nice pocket knife with a message along the lines of "Thanks for being there for my mother and me." I also essentially want to call him "dad" for the first time with this gift. He has been able to "handle" my mother and make her happy. I feel that their relationship is actually better than the one my parents had. He has also helped me financially a few times though I've been financially independent, for the most part, for about 5 years.
I wish that I could essentially word it as I worded it above, but I'm having some apprehensions about doing this. First, my mother is an emotional mess. I don't want her to, essentially, get jealous of this gift that I want to get for him. My mother and I have never been good at expressing feelings to each other, and I communicate with my step-dad better than I have been able to communicate with any parental figure. Second, I don't want to demean my biological father. He had a ton of flaws, but he was still my dad, and I don't want it to seem/feel like my father's legacy has been completely replaced by my step-father. Lastly, I've never had a step-father type figure, so I'm not sure what's socially acceptable
How would you all word it? Are my concerns trivial? Thanks in advance for your suggestions/insight/help! | Want to engrave nice things on step-dad's Christmas gift, but I don't want to offend anyone. How would you word it? |
t3_2qw4cl | relationships | Me [20 M] with crush [20 F], friends are trying to set us up and how to move forward | While casually talking about girls, I told my roommate that I had a thing for a girl (I'll call her Julie) whom he knew from freshman year. Well the next night, he drunkenly texted Julie's friend saying that they should set me and Julie up. As a result, apparently her friend got Julie to agree to go on a date with me next semester once we return from the holidays.
At this point, I'm deciding I might as well follow through with it even if I never expected to make a move on her immediately . I've seen her a few times in groups as we have a few mutual friends, so I'm sure she knows who I am. However, I've never really spoken to her one on one, and we don't even have each other on Facebook (if that even means anything).
Her friend is going aboard next semester so I don't have that immediate line of communication with her, but I know she must be somewhat interested. How should I move forward? Should I get her number and text her out of the blue? | Friends get my crush to agree to go on date with me, but don't know crush very well and have barely interacted with her. How should I go about this? |
t3_dtixz | AskReddit | Reddit, my Dad has never used a computer in his life. He just bought a laptop. Any suggestions on how to best 'parent-proof' it? | So, my Dad is an old farmer and just recently told me to buy him a laptop so that he can "use Google during the winter" were his exact words. I think he wants to get an iPod too and start downloading his own music. He's generally pretty decent with electronics, but I have a feeling that he'll be on the internet for 10 minutes and have the computer loaded with spyware. I have the laptop now and am trying to set it up so that it is basically idiot proof. I've already started deleting programs that will just cause him problems and have started a word document on the desktop of 'how-tos'. Any suggestions on software I should install for him or any other advice you could shoot my way would be appreciated. Thanks, Reddit! | How can I stop my Dad from downloading malware ridden porn and having to call me at 2 am to fix his google? |
t3_1eqwfv | dating_advice | Should I [17M] ask her [F17] out via text message? | A little back story, and just for kicks, we'll call her Molly. Me and Molly met on a Ski Trip way back, just recently we started hanging out a lot. I mean every weekend, making time we didn't have staying up late kind of thing.
We were gonna meet on Saturday but we both got slammed with homework, Sunday she asked me to a movie but I really couldn't. And now due to Grad coming up and both of us being super swamped and I want to ask her out before some other duder asks her to Grad.
The issue is she lives about 2 hours away from my house (Bus distance) and we never see each other face to face unless we plan something, which is a no go in the now. And probably won't until after Grad. So I wanna 'slam my foot in the door' before it's too late, digg? Also calling is a no-go cause of parents. I should also mention she's a bit of a 'hot commodity' (Super objectifying I know but I dunno how else to put it, and you know I don't mean it in any way undignified), she most likely WILL have someone ask her out. | Girl I digg goes to a different school hours away, Grad is in 4 weeks, it's basically ask her out via text, or wait and hope no one asks her to Grad. Should I just text? |
t3_4kgdke | relationships | Me [25M], my girlfriend [32 F] of 1 year wants to get married, I don't! what to do? | I'm a 25 years old guy and my girlfriend of 1 year is 32. Due to her age, she is in more rush to get married than I. I'm still not even sure if she is the one. even though I love her as my girlfriend and would like things to stay the way they are.
However she is much more serious in our relationship. Even talking about having a tiny bit of doubt would make her sad and angry. So to keep the relationship as it as I had to pretend that I'm as serious as her too. But in reality I'm not sure!
Should I keep up the act and see how our relationship turns out?
or
Should I tell her the truth and risk ending our relationship?
On the one hand my conscious is killing me and on the other hand I love her and don't want to end it. | my girlfriend wants to get married, I don't. But I have lied that I will marry her in a couple of years to keep things as it is. What should I do now? |
t3_1gpz3a | relationships | I [24F] have been with my fiance [25M] for 4 years. We're sweeping our issues under the rug, and I think I want out. | Hi Reddit.
Been with my fiance 4 years. About 6 months ago, a combination of things led to me wanting to break it off. It was awful. He wouldn't let me, and (I regret it immensely), I cheated.
He forgave me for cheating, and asked that we try again. I said yes. We haven't spoken about it since. I kinda believe that crushes and cheating happen as an indicator of all the wrong things in relationships.
A few months later, he proposed and I said yes. I was so dedicated to working it out come what may and making it work.
Since then, I've been having some serious doubts. He refuses to talk about my 'crazy patch', not even acknowledging the issues I brought up even when I try and communicate with him, he refuses to talk about the cheating, even though I've suggested counselling and tried to talk about it.
Now, I'm feeling suffocated. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've done some soul searching and I think the reason I cheated and tried to break up was because I'm not ready for marriage and this kind of commitment. Now, I've got that in the back of my mind and we don't talk about those issues, or the new one- lack of communication!
I'm withdrawing back into myself and throwing myself into work while fantasizing about being single because I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to just call an end to it, because of the reasons of the first break up, because I feel trapped and not ready and have never been single and would like to experience 'me' without a boyfriend, or to try and talk it out...even though he won't!
Reddit, I don't know what to do. I feel like the earlier issues are unresolved and I don't want a life of poor communication. I've been trying to write it out all day and I just feel numb. | Broke up with boyfriend, cheated. Got back together, he forgave and proposed. Feel issues are unresolved and he won't talk to me. Scared of getting married. |
t3_3b9qta | relationships | Me [21f] with my best friend [23F] one year, she's in the middle of filing an annulment, having sex with another guy, leaving her special needs daughter on the backburner. | My friend, Ayriel, is having second thoughts about her husband, Brad[28M]. She decided he is mentally unstable that he is not good for her child. She started filing for an annulment but never turned in the paperwork. Her husband is on duty in a foreign country and can't do anything about any of this. They've been married since February.
Her biological daughter, Clara[2], is a special needs child. She has not yet determined Autism, but she is very slow for her age, as well as very hyper. She doesn't talk, she just learned how to walk recently, and she's nowhere near potty trained. Before she found out she was pregnant with Clara, Ayriel drank quite frequently to the point of blacking out.
Through this confusing process, before anything was decided about Brad, Ayriel started talking to an ex boyfriend, Dylan. Dylan pressured her into doing this because he felt like he could be the best father for Clara. Not even a week after beginning to talk, he moved the 1,000 miles to live here with her. That entire week she asked for my opinions, and I vehemently told her that her child needs to come before anyone else.
He moved up three days ago. She's been having very loud and very aggressive sex twice a day since. Her daughter is not a light sleeper at all, often screaming in her room as this is going on. (We're neighbors).
She continues to insist that Dylan is good for her child and that he will only be a friend until Clara grows up to know him as more, but i know he's just like Brad. She knew Bras for less than a year before tying the knot, 7 months of it he was in military. I worry for her and how quickly she's moving, and I worry for her child's safety, with her constantly pursuing random men, especially Dylan, who she cheated on once before.
I don't know what I can do as a friend to help her. ANy ideas?
___ | Friend is hopping from Relationship to relationship not thinking about her special needs daughter. Afraid she'll catch herself up in an ugly divorce, or worse because of her history. WHat can I do as a friend to help her? |
t3_2oop0q | relationships | Short relationship between me [20 M] and ex [20 F] ended and I'm trying to figure out if a friendship is worth it. | After dating this girl who's been a close friend for a while, at about the time when I started getting cold feet (although I didn't say anything) she broke up with me.
For context, she cheated on her last partner with me, and they broke up a week later. Within a week after that we started seeing each other, but it wasn't exclusive until 2 weeks before the end. After using the breakup as an opportunity to make up with another close friend who developed feelings for my ex, I found out they were having sex while we were seeing each other. I'm not particularly angry about this since I let my ex decide when to make things exclusive, but it would have been nice to know during the relationship. I'm still friends with both people separately but it's awkward when all three of us are together. The other girl is going abroad in a few days anyway, so that may ease some tension.
During our actual breakup she said that she still had feelings for me, but her emotions and work were getting out of control. I still have some lingering feelings for her too, but I'm not sure what the appropriate amount of distance is in a situation like this. For the most part I've let her initiate conversation, and she's invited me to eat with her a few times (just at the school cafeteria) but I feel as if our text based conversations are awkward, and this is what annoys me the most. In person our conversations are as lively as always, except for one time when the love triangle was in the same room.
At this point it seems like she may get back together with the ex that she cheated on with me, and for some reason I've been feeling sad about that even though I don't want a relationship with her again. What sort of advice do you guys have for me on how I can improve this situation? I don't want to lose a friend, but I feel as if things are getting too complicated. | I had a brief rebound-ish relationship with a close friend and I don't know how to preserve the friendship. What should I do? |
t3_3f2joh | relationships | I [20 F] think I should end a beginning friendship with [26 M] because he is depressed and I don't want to be anymore | I met this guy on a theatreproject a year ago where we got along pretty well, and I bumped into him again a couple weeks ago. We started talking and still got along pretty well. He asked if I wanted to hang out after a while, and I thought it was a good idea so I did. After that we hung out a few more times, we ate together at my place, etc.
Thing is, I have major depressive disorder and have been depressed on and off for the past six years. Half a year ago when I was getting depressed again I decided I should go into therapy, which I did. 3 weeks ago I took the next step and decided that I should try medication, and I really want to get my life together and work with my therapist to change my behavioral patterns I developed from years of being depressed in a crucial time of my development, and I think I'm starting to do better.
Now this guy, even though he is smart and easy to talk to for me, he is unemployed, really overweight, has a little bit of a victim-complex, not motivated at all and only whines about not being able to find a job while not really doing anything about it. And I mean, the fact that he weights 140 kilo's doesn't exactly scream self-control, determination and motivation either.
I recognize a lot of myself in him because I have a lot of those same characteristics, but as I said, I am working hard to leave exactly those things behind me, and I feel like inviting this guy into my life will interfere with my process of breaking destructive patterns. So I thought I'd just nip this developing friendship in the bud before there are bigger things at stake.
What do you think? Am I doing the right thing here? I really hate letting people down but I really think he's going to hold back my progress. | thinking of ending budding friendship with a guy who is stuck in the same depressed, destructive behavioral patterns I am trying to leave behind because I feel like it interferes with my process. |
t3_16qkgp | AskReddit | Why has there been no Lance Armstrong circle jerk? | It seems to me that this is a very reddit-worthy story:
A guy becomes very successful and famous, aggressively denies that any cheating contributed to his success, then is confirmed to be not only a major cheat but a world class liar.
It seems to me that reddit would be all over such a story. Imagine if it was an American senator or a preacher?
I remember when the report came out from USADA and to me it seemed pretty obvious Armstrong was a cheat but I remember some very strong comments from redditors accusing USADA and the wider cycling/media community of some grand conspiracy.
My question is: is the reason I haven't seen more of a response from reddit because a lot of people truly believed he was innocent? | Now Armstrong has seemed to have confessed, why hasn't reddit thrown one leg over its high horse and done some serious gallavanting? |
t3_4d4vd9 | relationships | I (25M) accidentally blurted out a reference to a meme at an academic conference in front of other attendants (all ages and genders) | I'll keep this short as the issue at hand is pretty simple though mortifying.
I'm at my first academic conference this weekend and gave a presentation. After the presentation about half a dozen people stuck around to ask about my work. An older woman then asked which professor I was working under at my university and I have no idea what happened but my mind just for some reason blanked and instead of saying her name I came out with "Professor Bofa" which is a reference to a meme I saw where it's followed up with "bofa deez nuts." I did not say the second part, fortunately. The woman responded with something like "oh who's that?" and then I said my professor's actual name but since her name is nothing like "bofa" I got weird looks from the people around me.
I don't know if any of them are familiar with the meme though I'm guessing probably not. Either way I will most likely be seeing these people around again tomorrow as we're all in the same area of research. Should I offer any kind of explanation for my mistake today, like apologizing for the confusion and just saying I was nervous or something? | I said I studied under "Professor Bofa" to some academics at a conference for god knows what reason, how do I do damage control now? |
t3_18srgs | loseit | I hit a minor bump, and I think the success has gone to my head. Is it okay to start over? | Okay, so I've been doing very well so far. June 4 2012, I weighed 370 lbs. I cut carbs, ran 5 miles on an elliptical about 5 days a week. Recently, I've been using weights. I think a bit of the problem is that I need a more expansive diet and workout plan, but I'm not sure. Now, I weight about 240. But the last few days I've been eating pretty poorly, and I missed going to the gym twice. I think the success has gone to my head. Is it normal for me to start over mentally, thinking I just need to start all over again? I removed my "-130" flair for now, and hopefully, when I'm near my goal, I can add the two totals up for a true weight loss flair. | I fell off the wagon a bit, and I'm scared that the pride of success has gotten to my head and made me lazy and eat poorly, and that I think I can't fail at this point. I'm just confused. |
t3_yyzvd | relationships | Might be overreacting, but I [22f] may have ruined my BF's [22m] surprise | Boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years (anniversary in October), and we've talked about marriage before. When we talk about the future, we always say we'll go places "with our kids," like our future is set already.
Our friend broke up with his girlfriend on Sunday, and he had already bought her a $24K ring- this thing is massive, according to my boyfriend. I told our friend he should hold on to it for when he meets the right girl, but he's pretty adamant about wanting to sell it.
Last night, my boyfriend randomly mentioned that our friend may have saved him a lot of money. I got distracted by something, and didn't get to ask what he was talking about. Then this morning, he was talking about how crazy the ring is, and I said, "Well, aren't you lucky I don't want anything that big." He kind of got quiet, which is a big deal, because usually I would expect some snappy comment. I was worried I said something wrong, so I awkwardly added, "You know, because I'm so small." He changed the subject.
I didn't even think that those two events might be connected. Am I just overanalyzing the situation? I've been known to do that, but I just wanted to know what the third person point of view might be. | Friend is selling engagement ring, I badmouth ring, boyfriend has a strange reaction. I wonder if he had plans for that ring, and I just peed on his parade. |
t3_1p4j39 | AskReddit | What's your most recent real life karma story? | I found a hard drive wrapped in paper and scotch tape marked "Doctor K's Hard Drive (Defective) still has data." in a walmart shopping cart when I was in Toronto. I decided to take it home with me to New York so I could plug it in and find out who the owner was. I was able to locate his contact information and setup a meet for the next time I was in Toronto. I gave him his hard drive back and we both got on with our lives.
I believe my good deed has been paid back to me for this since two weeks later when I was in Toronto I found a digital camera on the floor by the bed of my hotel on the day of checkout, it still had some battery life along with explicit pictures of three girls in their 20's. | found a hard drive, returned it to owner, the karma gods saw fit to give me nudies as a reward. |
t3_oivn9 | dating_advice | Asked a girl out. Need advice on how to indicate to her that it's not a friend thing. | So, I'm 19/m and she is 18/f. We met at a party yesterday. I spent most of the night communicating with her, she was the one to initiate conversation. We have a lot in common and she seems like a very interesting girl. She had to leave early so we exchanged numbers. I texted her tonight asking if she wanted to go out for coffee with me and she accepted. I don't have much dating experience and have been friendzoned a few times, so how do I indicate to her that I'm interested in her? If everything goes well how do I ask her if she wants to date me? | Just met a girl and asked her out for coffee. How do I indicate my interest and how do ask her if she wants to date me? |
t3_2tbki5 | tifu | TIFU by sitting next to a cute girl on the bus | So I got on the bus today which is usually a 50 minute ride. I usually sit by myself and listen to music (and browse reddit) but today I decided to be social and sit next to a girl that was there.
She had a skirt and a nametag on, but I didn't think much of it. To my surprise as soon as I sat down, she started talking to me. She was really social and we were having a great conversation. All of the sudden, about 5 minutes in, she asked about my religious beliefs. I told her that I come from a Jewish family but I'm an agnostic atheist. I now realize I would have been better off telling her that I was a Satanist.
She then proceeded to inform me that she was a missionary from the Mormon church, and explained to me how much she loved Jesus Christ and how much He loved her. She also explained, in detail, everything that was wrong with Judaism and atheism, and how I was probably going to hell. It was unbearable beyond belief, so I decided to just get off the bus and take the next one (in 15 mins.) I told her that the next stop was mine and that I really needed to get home. She asked me what I was going to do for the day, and I just told her I would stay home. I excused myself and got off. An overwhelming sense of relief hit me as I was finally free.
I waited what ended up being 20 mins for the next bus. I got on and sat down, and I got distracted and forgot the whole thing. 4 or 5 stops later, guess who gets on the bus? Yup, the same missionary.
She saw me on the bus again, gave me a death glare that almost made me shit myself, and then sat down to some other poor fucker, and started talking to him about Jesus. | Sat down next to a missionary, got off the bus to avoid her, she got on the next bus too, almost made me shit myself. |
t3_q50zh | AskReddit | My roommate is bat shit crazy. How can we get her to move out? | I live with five people, one of which is in her late twenties and is a terrible roommate/person. About a month and a half ago, we decided to throw a party on a Friday night. Prior to that, we had a house meeting to discuss bills, cleaning after the party, and making sure we were all respectful of everyone's guests. After the discussion, she sent several emails to us about how she no longer felt comfortable in our apartment. Mind you the discussion was very rational, and no one even raised their voice-- in fact she agreed to what we were saying.
Since then she is constantly stomping around the apartment, slamming doors and drawers, refuses to help with any household chores, refuses to pay bills on "luxury items" (like the cable), refuses to pay other bills on time, stolen from one of our roommates and we've even seen her kick our cat, once down a few stairs. She even tries to manipulate our most neutral roommate, and now won't even speak to her because she is friends with the other roommates.
We tried to have a roommate meeting to ask her to move out, and she did not show up. One of our roommates is pursuing legal action against her, as she has not paid her any bills in the last month and a half. The roommate we want to leave did not show up to the meeting.
We moved into this apartment under peaceful terms, and had verbal agreements over the environment we wanted in our apartment. This is in clear violation of that--- which is why we're asking her to move out. HOWEVER: **She's on the lease.** We've already removed one person from our lease, because they moved across the country for work. I don't want to put a strain on the relationship with our landlord, but this living situation is not working out.
Is there anything we can do? | Bitch of a roommate doesn't pay for all the bills on time, kicks our cat-- how do we kick her out, when she's on the lease? |
t3_1m7cao | relationships | Me[20M] with my 22F girlfriend of 7 months hiding the fact she's texting her ex | So the other night i went to use my girlfriends phone to send myself a picture of us while we were on vacation. I noticed there was a screenshot of a text convo from earlier in the day between her and her ex. It went like this..
Girlfriend: lol sorry i missed your call earlier, ill call you later.
Ex: OK =)
After that i went to her text messages and noticed she deleted that conversation. I asked her about it and said it was her ex. They dated for 4 years and shortly after they broke up we got together. I think she is still trying to get over this person and she says she knows it looks sketchy (no shit) but it's not what it seems.
They want to be on the friendship level. I don't care if they were to be friends but it's the fact i know she isn't completely over this person and isn't ready for that yet. I do not think she is cheating on me because we sleep with each other almost every night. This isn't the first time I've caught her lying and or hiding things from me. Should i give her an ultimatum? I told her that if she wants to forget about that person and continue with our relationship, she needs to be no contact with them. Is it right for me to say, "Stop contacting that person for the sake of our relationship or i'm gone?"
After she apologized about this, she tries twisting things on how i'm snooping through her things and this isn't the first time ive done something like this. Trying to make me feel guilty and look like the bad person. | Found out girlfriend of 7 months was hiding a text from ex boyfriend who i do not think she is over. Is it right for me to give her an ultimatum? |
t3_v1539 | loseit | How do you cook for two people with very different calorie requirements? | Hi, /r/loseit! I'm new here. I've been browsing through and WOW, definitely some amazingly inspiring stories here. I was hoping you guys could help inspire me some more. :)
So, my situation is that I've always been in shape! I played sports all through high school, was an avid runner when I was in the military, etc. Well, after getting out of the military, getting married, moving to a new state, and starting school all within a few months of each other, it's like I have forgotten how to be healthy, and I've put on 15 pounds from my usual weight. (115-120 to now being 130-135...I am 5'2")
I think the main problem is diet. I never used to have issues with eating and I guess I was just lucky to not have much of an appetite if I wasn't working out. Now, though, a meal that meets my calorie requirements is not near enough to satisfy my husband, and if I make enough for him, chances are it's too much for me! And I have learned I apparently have no self control, and if it's in front of me, I'll eat it.
I guess I was just curious to see if anyone else was in a similar situation, and how you overcame it? I'm the heaviest I've ever been, and while I don't think anyone would describe me as overweight, I'm not happy with myself. I just don't know how to win on the diet thing. I've tried just eating smaller portions but then the portions seem SO small and I'm not satisfied. My husband, who is a runner, also prefers to eat a lot of carbs but they are doing me in.
How do I manage to cook healthy meals that can meet my 1,200 calorie a day limit while still fulfilling his 2,000 calorie a day limit? I love my husband but if I leave him to his own devices (or don't make enough for dinner) he will just snack on whatever is available and end up exceeding his limit. Any advice or information would be greatly appreciated! Also, I apologize if this has been posted before or does not belong here. | I don't know how to cook to meet two separate calorie requirements and I'm having trouble burning off these 10-15 stubborn pounds! |
t3_24ltxc | relationship_advice | My [21/M] ex [22/F] from over a year ago has emailed me out of the blue. How does one respond to something like this? | Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble. I just want to make sure anyone who gives an answer has enough context to help if they can:
A year ago, a girl I was really into dumped me and strung me along for a while after that. Now she's sent me an email simply saying "How have you been?" I feel this is inappropriate for two reasons. First of all, the break was really bad. We both said some pretty hurtful things and I was definitely the one worse off for it. I've spent a lot of time trying to be more emotionally open to relationships since then, and it's always failed miserably. She, on the other hand, has been dating another man since two days after we officially broke things off. Secondly, for the last 14 months she, at least, has been content to pretend as though I don't exist. Any time in passing we've seen each other, for instance, would be as though a complete stranger had walked by me. I can't deny that it hurt a little, because of course it does, and this email just reminds me of all the hurt I felt.
I am at a loss of how to handle this. I feel like she's definitely sending this because she's graduating and not because she actually cares about my feelings. She was never shy about having me aroundto comfort her after the breakup/whatever she said she was going through and then tossing me aside once a new guy was in the mix. I was totally used and completely devastated.
Should I email her a brief update tomorrow morning? What has anyone else's experience with this been? Is there any way I'm not looking past my old hurt and being stupid by NOT wanting to respond? Is there actually a healthy solution to this that I'm possibly overlooking because of my feelings? I don't want to regret doing nothing, but then again I'm afraid this could just open up old wounds, and I really don't want that.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far! I really appreciate any and all advice :) | Ex emailed me out of the blue. The break-up really hurt me and I'm not sure if responding is a good idea. Any advice? |
t3_fh8lw | AskReddit | Can I sue for being fed something I'm allergic to at a restaurant? | I decided to go to Denny's with the family Friday night. I ordered a mushroom swiss burger and one of the mushrooms was really crunchy. I figured it was just overcooked and didn't think anything else of it. Then I got home and hives started appearing all over my body. I'm not allergic to any foods, I didn't have any new foods that night, no new lotions, soaps, nothing. I woke up the next morning and my eyes were almost swollen shut, my face was literally COVERED in hives, as well as the rest of my body. Now, the only things I'm severely allergic to are dust mites (which I took precautions against years ago when I found out, mattress cover, pillow cases, excessive vacuuming, furniture anti-allergen spray) and cockroaches. It sickens me to even think that I could have ate a part of a cockroach. Anyway, so I ended up going to the ER and had to be given a shot and some steroids that I need to take for the next 6 days. | I think I ate a cockroach at Denny's and it made me super sick, should I try to sue them? |
t3_2rubwi | relationships | Me [21 F] with my friend [21 F] becoming good friends with my [22 M] abusive brother | Long story short - my entire life my brother has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. You can read more of the details on this post from a few days ago:
My best friend, who is from my college town, came to visit, having heard this all from me but never having been to my house before. The entire time she's been here, my brother has been overly sweet, kind, not screaming or berating me per usual. I also think the fact that his girlfriend is here has something to do with it.
So she keeps saying "Oh he seems nice, not that bad, etc." and I'm feeling very betrayed. This guy has given me emotional scars, my parents refuse to see his dark side and now my best friend does to. I'm very hurt by her reaction and I don't feel like I can trust her anymore because she's buying into his BS. What do I do? I don't want to lose my friend over my douche of a brother but my feelings are very conflicted. | Best friend visiting my home for the first time, buys into my brother's nice guy act even though he's an abusive asshole, I'm feeling betrayed and I don't know what to do. |
t3_4889hp | relationships | My [15 M] friends assume I like a girl [15 F] who I value my platonic relationship with | I just want to preface this by saying I'm in high school so the people around me aren't the most mature people when it comes to relationships.
Over the past few months I've gotten fairly close to her. We both want to keep our relationship platonic and neither of us likes the other(as far as I know) in a romantic way. Our friends think otherwise however and are constantly assuming we like each other and trying to get me to ask her out. This outside pressure has gotten in the way of our friendship as we are both wary to spend time with each other in public in fear of others making assumptions. | My friends are assuming that I like a girl who I want to stay just friends with. How can I make it less awkward for us to hang out in public? |
t3_4rk02q | relationships | Me [30 F] with my boyfriend [33M] 9 years, I want to end it but guilt is stopping me as he has a lack of support network | ill keep t short because I'm on my cell phone. We've been together a long time and live together. Due to some health issues but also his personality he's not sociable and spends most of his time after work playing computer games and smoking a few joints. I am the opposite, I love socialising and going on adventures, I love trying new things and music and dancing, you get the picture. For the first few years it worked. He had friends, hung out with them regularly, he was never a social butterfly but I accepted it. Now however I want out.
I have made up my mind, I am sick of attending friends weddings and group and family trips alone because he is uncomfortable to go, awkward when he's there and wants to leave early, so I just go on my own now. I didn't the weekend at a friend's birthday party and saw how much fun everyone else has with their partner, etc. I know the phrase grass is always greener but the grass on this side of the fence is rotten and dead. I don't love him anymore. I have no desire anymore. When we do go do stuff together it usually ends up in s fight. We fight a lot and say awful things to each other.
So yeah, I want out. But I love him and care about him. I'm terrified he will sink into an angry depression and not reach out to his old friends. His dad is in a different country and a 2 hour flight away. I've put it off for a while now and I know it was for his sake. That's not fair on him or me. I honestly believe we are toxic for each other and after healing I hope he finds someone else and by staying I'm stopping that from happening. I can move into my parents while I figure out what to do. How do I do this and stay firm!? | Fallen out of love, ltr, and my bf has barely any friends for support. How do I stop guilt about the effect it will have on my partner prevent me from doing what I need to do? |
t3_2urjk7 | travel | First Time Planning A Trip (by myself) to Vancouver from Toronto. Need Advice! | Hello Redditers,
I am fairly new to Reddit and planning trips on my own, so please bare with me. I have a group of 6 ppl total, ages 23-30 that are interested in going to Vancouver from Toronto in around May 2015. We have only discussed an interest in going but other than that no plans have been made. Please keep in mind I have not been there since i was very little around 6 years old with family and my friends have never been. We are all adventurous types and do not mind hiking, biking, swimming, etc.
We would fly from Toronto to Vancouver and rent a car for the stay. I have family members that are willing to let us stay with them in Burnaby.
There are a few things I would like to ask for advice about:
1. What are the best sites to try book our flight tickets?
-Any recommended airlines to use?
2. Should I depart Toronto/Vancouver in the morning or evening to get the best length of stay?
3. How long should we go for?
-I was thinking 9-10 days from a Wed/Thu and leave a Sat/Sun (7-8 working days). Vacation days from work do play a part as I have only 15 days out of the year to go. Friends may less.
4. Any recommended MUST DO activities? | New to Reddit/planning trips, Want to go TOR -> VAN in May 2015 w/ 5 ppl. Any Planning/Activity advise? |
t3_1y6f9t | relationships | my so [F20] looked threw my phone and found some rather innocuous text and doesn't trust me. | Me [M 21]The texts were a little flirty and sent to the girl I lost my virginity too and broke up with 3 years ago. She also suggested she didn't trust me when I said I was going camping with friens. We've been dating for 1.5 years. I'm lost. | gf found flirty but in my mind innocent enough texts. Also questioned if I lied about camping. I dont know how to feel |
t3_2lxgha | relationships | Am I (27/f) emotionally abusive to my husband (28/m)? | So I am due to give birth in 3 weeks. Our unborn daughter has a problem that her left kidney will not drain. I had an appointment today and the doctor asked if she had two kidneys then said "oh the problem is in her right kidney". I was dumbfounded that this sonogram specialist is giving me such mixed information 3 weeks before the due date.
I freaked out called my delivering obgyn and told her to look back in the files. Looks like there was a lot of mistakes with what kidney was having the problem. My doctor said to come down and she was going to look her self.
Now I tell you this to give you a bit of background of the gravity of the situation.
I call my husband and freak out. He just nonchalantly said, "ok, so you gonna handle it tomorrow." End of story. He was not pissed and did not sound worried. Just "ok".
It really struck me and I didn't think he fully understood the gravity of the situation. So I texted him that I was a bit unnerved about his disconnect and lack of response to this situation. I explained that we don't have any time left to get this rectified. I could go into labor tomorrow.
He called me and said that I don't understand how emotionally abusive I am telling him that he doesn't care about his unborn child.
Now, he is constantly emotionally distant. He very rarely consoles me when I am worried or upset, he doesn't show any type of excitement for the baby's birth, it just seems like he's emotionally checked out most of the time. Because of this, I mention to him that I need his emotional support and he seems like he is unmoved by the whole situation of the baby. I have told him that when the baby comes I hope he is more emotional and outwardly loving to the baby because it would do some emotional damage to a little girl.
He tells me that because of these worries I have that I am in essence telling him that he is going to be a bad father because he does not outwardly show any emotions. He mentioned once before that he is scared about having a baby because of everything that can go wrong. He never mentioned it ever again. | So the question is am I emotionally abusive to my husband and I don't even know it because I voice my concerns about his emotional disconnect? |
t3_1b6waa | relationships | I [24M] suspect that the girl [20F] I have been dating for 3-4 months, who is practically my gf, slept with someone else 1-2 months after we met. | We are not officially a couple but we act like it and see each other very often. She told me about this weird guy she slept with but I'm not sure if she slept with him before or after I met her. If she slept with him more than three weeks (after we had 4 dates) after I met her, I'm not really comfortable with it. How much should I put into it?
I haven't slept with anyone besides her, because it's a principle of mine not do date/sleep with two girls at the same time. I don't know if I should accept if she has. Also, I'm not sure if it's a good idea at all to ask her about this.
What are your thoughts? | I haven't slept with anyone else but her, but I suspect she slept with someone more than 4 dates into our relationship. I'm not comfortable with the the thought that she has as it contradicts my principles. |
t3_1pv08d | relationship_advice | So I have two friends one M and the other F. The guy told me that he is into the girl. What should I do if they start going out? | So like I said before I have two really good friends, I pretty much spend all of my free time with these two or try to. Today one of them told me that he had feelings for the other person. Needless to say I spent a great deal of time now walking in circles wondering what I am supposed to do. I spend so much time with these two and I know that they will need their own space. The problem is that they were my tower so to speak.
I spent my freshman and a large chunk of my sophomore year at college alone. I became friends with them last year and since our friendship has grown stronger. My big thing is how to deal with the change/feeling alone again.
I want them to go out because I know they're a smart match and I would gladly grit my teeth and take the pain if it means that they are happy. What should I do? | One of my two really good friends likes the other. I know there will be a major change, but how do I deal with it. My main fear from this is being alone again. |
t3_pyrhr | cats | Thinking about getting a playmate for my kitty? | I have a 6 yr old siamese kitty. She is loveable and playful. I got her for free a year ago from a guy that posted an ad on craigslist stating that his work schedule was too hectic to take care of her.
As of late, I've noticed she's been meowing for attention, *a lot.* Despite the fact that we always play with her and her toys. I feel bad, and I think it's time to get her a playmate. I don't want another cat, as my husband is unemployed and I don't think I could afford twice the food & litter.
I was thinking of getting a small dog to be her friend. However, the man that I got her from said that she is best alone, no other animals or children. But in the past year that I've had her, I've found this to be untrue. I've taken her to the vet, let her run around in a lobby full of large dogs, and she was very friendly and kind-hearted. She also warms up to my friends when they come over.
Has anyone else had experience with a slightly older cat and a young dog? Did it bode well? I found an ad on craigslist for a 1 yr old maltese mix that is absolutely adorable. The only thing I'm afraid of is if she will become annoyed and even more lonely if she thinks the dog is getting all the attention?
P.S. I live in a **large** studio apartment; my husband is always home. | I have a 6 yr old cat, and want to get a puppy for a playmate. Good idea or horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad idea? |
t3_19a7vq | relationships | 26[m] married to 26[f] and after 2 years together i dont know i she can be a mom. | So after being married for 2 and half years and living with each other this whole time. We never lived together prior to marriage, only had apartments in the same building. She is my best friend, but a terrible roomate and a lazy lover. I have tried the whole time living in our house together to get her to do chores on a regular basis but it always ends up with me doing it and taking over doing it weekly. It started with dishes, then we bought a dishwasher and it still wasnt easy enough. Now laundry, i have to do all of my own laundry this past weekend and our whole room floor is covered in her dirty clothes. We go a dog, which she used to take to work with her but now doesnt and i take care of him when we are both home. Initiating sex is also something i have to do. So after coming home every night and cooking, cleaning, making sure all the bills are paid and taking care of our dog, i have to get over whatever resentment i have to try to have sex with her but it is sometimes a no go even then and that just leads to more frustration. She has body image issues and anxiety. I just dont think she is cut out to be a mom because i cant take on any more burdens to keep our life together. We have talked about all of these issues as they came up but the solutions always ended up with me taking over the duty.
Our arguments always stop half way through from either a snarky, fine your right im wrong i give up from her and she is still mad, or a slamming of bathroom door and its put on hold for 15 minutes at a time.
Now i dont know what to do, im always mad now and im thinking about divorce since the break would be cleaner now then if we accidentally got pregnant. | Wife of 2 years is my best friend, but terrible roommate, lazy lover and now i dont think she can be a good mom to children if we have some. |
t3_27ufku | relationship_advice | I [19 M] am falling hard for a crush [18 F] who's halfway across the world right now. | Backstory: We are both entering college sophomores who met last year at university. We became very good friends and I've had a minor crush on her for a few months. Home from school, we live several hours away from each other in different cities, and she's currently studying abroad overseas. Her roommate and I live in the same county so she came to visit over Easter, we of course continued hanging out at school, and over the summer we've been texting back and forth - me saying she should come back to my city and her saying I should go visit her (after she returns from abroad).
The issue: my minor crush has been steadily intensifying, especially once summer hit since my job hasn't started yet and I have tons of idle time. I constantly think about our lives together as a couple, certain issues and how we would work through them, how things would change next summer, etc. Meanwhile, I have yet to even ask her out and I don't know if she'll even say yes! On top of that, I haven't actually seen her in about a month.
Am I just crazy? How can I deal with this? | I may be falling in love with a good friend from school, even though I haven't seen her recently and don't know if she feels the same way. |
t3_2b2sqy | relationships | my [22/M] boyfriend of 2 years (ish), is suddenly not very in-love with me and not very attracted to me. | Boy, I never thought i would ever find myself posting here. Silly.
Anyhow, I've got this sweet boy, and he's so precious to me. Prior to the above mentioned dilemma our relationship was as close to perfect as most relationships can be. We wanted the same things out of life, we talked about kids and marriage (we're mormon so we're into that when we're young.). We work in the same field and have alot in common. Side note: we don't sleep/live together cause we're mormon and I was just a lass when we started dating.
Labor day weekend (or 2014) comes around and I beg him to come meet my family. He's very introvert and doesn't like to meet new people. I had finally talked him into it. So we show up to the reunion and he wasn't necessarily enjoying himself, but it wasn't a disaster.
That's when everything started to go south. He changed as a person drastically, and his feelings for me lessened. Our relationship is in ruins but at the same time we depend on each other for alot so this isn't something that's going to end on a whim. I know men have their little phases where they aren't sure what they want, but it's been almost 2 months and things are getting exponentially worse.
This, of course, is nothing unique. Lots of couples experience this. The shitty part is where he just simply won't talk to me about it or about how he's feeling and what's going on in his head and this relationhip has become completely one sided. I could walk away right now and I don't think he would try to stop me (rough). Sometimes I'm so good with words... but when it comes to talking to him about what changed, I'm at a loss.... | My sweet pea doesn't think I'm hot shit anymore. The difficult part is that he doesn't want to talk about it. |
t3_4huqz5 | relationships | Me [37F] when my son gets home from school today plan on telling him I am lesbian and introducing him to my partner [36F]. How do I go about telling him | My son is 16M
I had my child pretty young, I was always attracted to females but I got a boyfriend to make my dad happy. He was a homophobe. Myself and his father were partners. He got me pregnant and he pretty much demanded I get an abortion, I did not want to. Its hard to explain but I loved my kid as soon as I found out I was pregnant.
His father said he wanted nothing to do with my son or me. I don't know where he is, he vanished off the face of the earth. My son became my number 1 priority in life and because of that I have been single.
I met my partner about 6 months ago. Myself and her had a conversation last week and she said she would like to meet my kid. We both figure it's not nice for me to keep lying to him about where I go on Saturday and Friday.
The reason I have put it off is because Bullying in schools is bad. Especially in American schools, and I know he plans on going to a university in our home town. He has made it clear he has no intention of moving across the US when he graduates to go to college.
I plan on telling him when he get home, but I am scared of the way he will react. I am scared he may think less of me. I am scared I may cost him his relationship with his girlfriend, he has mentioned she hates gay people. I am scared of the way he may react to me having a female partner.
I have spoken to him about his girlfriend views and he always says " but mom she is so freaking hot".
How do myself and my partner breaks the news to him? I have never been this nervous before. | I plan on coming out as lesbian to my son and introducing my partner. I have never been this nervous and scared before |
t3_z41us | relationship_advice | After a breakup, are you obligated to help each other in any way? | I [F/30] dated a guy [M/31] a year ago. It was the second time we'd tried dating, both times he broke it off due to his crippling commitment-related anxiety. During our second try at being a couple he entered therapy to try to cope with his problem, and over the course of about six months I was his shoulder to cry on, the soundboard for his problems, and in a way his second therapist. We would discuss him, his problems, his therapy for hours.
So he breaks it off with me (obviously the therapy didn't work that well), we basically break off all communication, blah blah blah. Fast-forward a few months, and I'm going through a rough patch. I feel incredibly lonely and sad, and I just want to talk to someone who knows me really well.
After a random run-in one night, I email him to ask if we could talk on g-chat sometime. He writes back that he's sorry, but he doesn't think it's a good idea. I write that I'm going through a hard time and thought talking to him might help. He fires back that he can't be that person for me, and it's a "slippery slope." Whatever that means. I didn't reply.
Isn't this somewhat unfair? | Spent hours listening to my ex's problems while we were dating. After our breakup I asked for help with a problem and he said no. |
t3_4gddve | tifu | TIFU by losing my cool and insulting a religious teacher | This happened 6 years ago, a bit before my senior year in high school.
**Context**: Our social sciences teacher had to quit our school for personal reasons and we got assigned a new one, who turned out to be a religious missionary who had been on peregrination for a couple of years. He looked really dorky, he was tall, bald and missing the upper part of his right hand pinky; the latter earned him the nickname of *Cotton Swab* amongst us students. Yeah, we were dicks.
On his first day in our classroom (it wasn't that big, we were 18 students) he tried so hard to look like the " new mean teacher around" that he started kicking out of class almost everyone for the most stupid of reasons. There were about 12 people left when he saw me talking to a friend of mine, and he said: "Hey, you at the back, sit 3 desks forward from where you are". I knew I wasn't supposed to be talking in class so I respectfuly stood up, walked to the third desk infront of mine, and sat down, just like Cotton Swab said.
Instead of carrying on with his class, he kept silently staring at me, and so I respectfuly -again- asked: "Is everything alright, professor?", to which he replied: "Do those look like 3 desks further up to you?". The asshole was trying to make me look stupid, and I wasn't planning on having any of it. I stood up, pointed with my index finger to each of the desks behind the one I was on, and said "One, two, three, fuckface".
That incident got me expelled for a week in which we had a Math test and that subsequently led me to failing the assignature itself. I have no regrets, fucking Cotton Swab. | Teacher trying to be tough attempted to make me look stupid, I called him a fuckface. Got expelled for a week and missed a Math test which led me to fail the assignature. |
t3_1ih884 | self | Today I was shouted at by a paramedic for calling an ambulance after being hit by a car. Did I do the right thing? | At first glance, the answer may be obvious, but here's some context.
I was cycling from the local train station to my office, when a car hit me and pushed me off the road. I was thrown off my bike, and landed pretty badly by the side of the road. Not knowing where the nearest hospital was, and unable to contact any of my family - who live 40 miles away, - I called an ambulance.
I was bleeding heavily from my arm, side, knees, shoulder and hands; my knees were excruciatingly painful, and I thought I'd broken a rib. Moreover, I couldn't walk. It took all my energy to move myself and my bike off the road to the sidewalk.
The important part: When the ambulance arrived, the paramedic looked at me and said 'it's very inappropriate to call an ambulance for this kind of thing.' When they escorted/carried me into the back of the ambulance, he carried on; 'I mean, what possessed you to call 999 [UK]? Why on earth would you think this is a job for paramedics?' I was pretty shocked; I couldn't walk, I was on the verge of passing out, covered in blood and in a lot of pain.
After cleaning my injuries, and checking for broken bones, he really laid into me saying that I was 'way out of line' and so on. I genuinely didn't know what to say, other than to dully apologise.
It eventually transpired that I was alright; no broken bones, just sprains, scrapes and bruising. I keep thinking in hindsight that I shouldn't have called an ambulance, but then I remember that I couldn't walk at all, and was bleeding a lot.
What should I have done instead? Did I do the right thing? | Got shouted at by a paramedic for an 'inappropriate' callout after being thrown off my bike; bleeding heavily and unable to walk. Did I do the right thing in calling? |
t3_46j7ds | relationships | What do I (24F) say to someone (25M) who's convinced that it's more important to not take risks than to be happy? | I've been dating Josh for 2.5 years, and we've been best friends for maybe 6. It has always been long distance but recently (last year) became significantly less long distance to the point where we see each other multiple weekends in a month (usually 2).
I'm in school for a couple of more years and he doesn't want to move to my city, but I (independently of him) want to move to the city he lives in once im done with school and plan to do a summer internship there this year and spend parts of my final years in school there (we have to do co-ops in other cities).
This relationship has always been super easy and brings us both a lot of happiness but Josh has suddenly (literally out of the blue) said that he is missing having me around all the time and therefore thinks we should break up. I offered to spend more time in his city (very flexible school schedule, I could literally be there for a week at a time etc) and he feels that that will just make it more upsetting "when it doesn't work out."
Reddit, I know you can't make someone want to date you but literally the only problem according to him is that "he is risk averse and would rather avoid being sad and disappointed than be happy." This just sounds really self defeating and like a bad defense mechanism (if I'm playing armchair psychologist, likely picked up from a lifetime being raised by a single mom after dad abandoned them completely and after his previous serious gf dumped him for not being religious enough).
This is so, so upsetting to me. He's willing to talk about it but what could I possibly say to break him out of that logic? | Boyfriend wants to break up an otherwise ideal relationship because it will be LDR for a while and he's all "It won't work so we shouldn't try." Any ideas for diffusing bad logic? |
t3_3iagc6 | relationship_advice | Me [27F] w/ my SO [30M] of 4 years, should I tell him about kissing another guy 3 years ago? | Like the title says, i have been with my bf for 4 years. 3 years ago I was at a party and got blackout drunk, worse than ever before. My bf was not there, I was with friends (I have since moved away and don't see these friends and keep in contact with only a few of them).
Anyway, the day after the party I was talking to a friend who was there and she said something about how I had kissed one of the boys there. I thought she must be joking about it and laughed it off. Then she said "you know you kissed P, right?" And I started to freak out, I had absolutely no memory of this happening. It's not a faint memory or anything, I still to this day have no memory of that happening, but I believe my friend - she was definitely not making it up and seemed shocked I didn't know.
I told her to swear never to tell anyone, and contacted the guy and told him that I had no memory of it and I was in a good relationship and I wanted to pretend it didn't happen. He was fine with that & he agreed to just forget it. I've never talked about it since then and never told anyone, including my Bf. Since I don't remember it, it's usually easy to pretend it never happened, but I still feel so guilty sometimes. My bf is amazing and does not deserve me lying to him. If I told him though, it would ruin truly the most amazing thing in my life so far. I want to marry and have children with him, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him or us. And I don't think being drunk is an excuse for that stuff, but I just can't remember it - a big chunk of that night is just gone. Should I tell him? I don't know what it would do except hurt him, and I would NEVER dream of doing it again, and take special care to never get that drunk ever again. | blackout drunk kissed another guy 3 yrs ago, should I tell my bf of 4 years? (Never gotten close to blackout drunk since then) |
t3_2sddbz | relationships | Why must I [21m] be in love with the biggest bitch [20f] alive? | She toys with me, and i know it. She texts me asking for guidance because she had an extreme panic attack and needs comfort. When i try and ask her a few days later how things were she says she's off in another town. (where her new bf lives)
"hahah I'm in (insert town)" i was just asking how you were not for you to tell me what you know i don't want to know. We break up and you get a long distance SO? That does't even make sense. I just want to hug her and tell her how much i love her and everything will be ok. There is no need to go to extensive measures to get back at me or break my heart even more.
Why can't straight, cold, hard communication come into play? You tell me how you feel without indirectly fucking me over every time. I'm tired of being made a fool of, but i feel like if i say how i really feel now that you will just laugh at me. | Bitch alert. Passive aggressive ex won't tell me how she really feels, but chooses to show me in indirect ways. |
t3_30fwv7 | relationships | Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] of 8 years, gf's best friend is having a destination wedding, sends a wedding invite with just her name on it. | This happened last year.
Basically my gf best friend, who I am in good terms with not too friendly, had a destination wedding in a remote island in Europe. She sent a invite with just my gf's name on it. Which I thought was really strange since we have been together for so long, and I thought the general ettiquette was to invite the SO as well. I chalked it up-to just bad manners. Whatever, and didn't make a big deal of it.
So I assumed I wasn't invited, so whatever. But my gf didnt' want to travel all the way to that remote island in Europe from US, 3000 miles from home alone. So we made a trip out of it to see the rest of Europe, and I ended up accompanying her to the island, but stayed back in the hotel/did my own thing during the wedding event/festivities.
This apparently ticked off her friend who was getting married that I didn't attend despite coming all the way, but I wasn't invited as far as I could tell, and we hadn't RSVP'ed for me. So not sure why she got angry at me. She should have followed etiquette and invited me to begin with? Later my gf ended up siding with her friends point of view, and said I should have attended anyway.
Should I have crashed the wedding? | Is it normal to not invite a SO of many years when you have a destination wedding? should i crash a wedding that I wasn't invited to? |
t3_2e1gpv | askwomenadvice | Am I (20M) coming across as too clingy to her (18f) in texting? I'm not sure what she is thinking, and I need a good way to handle the situation. | I posted in /r/dating_advice but thought I'd post here.
So I have been known to be clingy in the past. I'll start off by saying that. Recently we realized it won't work out and that we should stay friends. After we decided that we continued texting and such and we were super friendly with eachother, and flirty and all of that. We were texting a lot for a few days. This happened a little over a week ago.
I am really close friends with her brother, and I mentioned I'd be visiting them soon in New York at some point (this will come back later). And we have been texting and we have been slow to responding to eachother since we started, taking anywhere from 1 minute to a few hours or even the next day to respond back. But she was still enthusiastic with her texts, they have been shorter but still enthusiastic. Two days ago she mentioned me visiting them in New York, I took this as a good sign regardless of the slower texting. I took a day off from texting her and now today she is not nearly as enthusiastic as she was. She is adding conversation content, and she is answering questions and still responding.
I haven't texted back to the last thing she said because I am debating on what to do. I never get on her about how often she texts back, and I never send another text unless she responds to the one I have already sent. And I have texted her about every day except for two of the days in the last week, again recently, it's been taking some time for us to respond to one another. She has also just started school again so she could just be busy.
Does it sound like I'm bothering her or being too clingy? Or she is being fed up with my texts? And what should I do to cool off me being clingy if I am? And what is the best way to handle this situation? | Girl and I were texting. She shows signs of interest, but today is showing otherwise, I feel conflicted because I can't understand her texts. What's the best way to handle the situation? |
t3_1t18v9 | relationships | My [21 M] Boyfriend [20 M] won't come out of the closet and it is adding stress to our relationship | So I've been dating my boyfriend Mike for 5 months now and for the most part things are going really great! We have a ton in common, get along super well and he is the most attractive guy I've dated. But he is still in the closet. He is actually bisexual, and I'm the only guy he's ever dated or been with. I don't expect him to come out to his parents since they are supporting him somewhat financially and they are extremely religious. But he has not told any of his friends, and he has admitted to me several times that he is sure they wouldn't care about him being into guys. The reason this really bothers me, is because it makes this relationship feel like such a secret. We can't go out to certain places because his friends might be there. I can only be at his apartment when his roommate is working. One time I had to hide in his room for like an hour because his roommate got home early and he had to sneak me out. I don't want to pressure him because he gets really stressed about telling them, but I didn't realize it would go on for so long. Am I out of line for feeling like he should just man up and tell them? Or is it not my business? | Boyfriend wont come out of the closet, even though he admits his friends wouldnt care about him being bisexual. Our relationship feels like a big secret |
t3_tvn5s | AskReddit | I got robbed today. I'm afraid of being in my own house. What should I do? | So I live in a 3 bedroom house at school and my 2 roommates moves out last week. Now it's just my bedroom of stuff and a couch with a small tv. Last night I went over to sleep at my gfs place. Out of carelessness and bad habit, I went out the sliding glass door in one of the empty bedrooms. When I went back this morning, I noticed my laptop and Xbox 360 were gone. They also snagged my gfs watch off the nightstand. I called the cops to file a report but they couldn't make it out before I had to leave. Tomorrow I plan to try again with them. After dinner, I went back home with my gal to watch tv and she couldn't handle being there. Every noise was freaking her out, and in turn freaked me out. I knew all the doors were locked, but I just could stay there. The thought of having been in my house when the person broke in has been on my mind all day. I only have this house until the end of the month, but what can I do to put my mind at ease? How do I make sure the fucktard who robbed me doesn't think about coming back to get my other valuables? | Fucktard robbed me when I wasn't home. House is too sketch for gf to be at and freaks me out. Advice requested. |
t3_olcym | AskReddit | How do I go about getting medical help for my father? He has got mental health issues. | I'm a male and studying at University for nearly four years and I don't live at home unless it is the holiday periods.
My father has a very short temper and is very aggressive. He used to beat me, older brother and mother up when we were younger. Now he is older he wouldn't dare to try it now. He still has eruptive angry arguments where he will threaten to kill my mother or just shouts out her and tells her to get out of the house. I'm still dumbfounded that my brother and mother who still live in the house put up with this crazy behaviour. I have lived away for nearly four years on and off because of University and can't stand it when I'm living back with the family in the holidays. It's normally very small situations that make him snap. For example the tap not being fully turned off. In any other case it would be excused/dismissed by some other father. In my case my dad will go into a deep rage and get more pissed off about it ranting about water bills, he will class us(me, brother and mother) as being mental and pull out some other crazy bullshit. That was a real crap example but I hope you understand that what I am justifying is he doesn't operate rationally as a human. He will never talk out a problem instead but will choose the angry approach every time which involves cursing and swearing and shouting as loud as he can. When he is unhappy with someone he will rant to another person about the other offending person's flaws and what he thinks they have done wrong etc (He always thinks he is right as well). I have not asked him if he will seek medical help for his issues because I know very well he will just get super pissed off. If I get him compulsory treatment how will that affect him and my family? I would like to know what options I have. I suppose I could just move out forever and ignore my family. I live in the UK if that helps as well. Thanks | I have an angry dad. What kind of treatment can I get forced on him and how will that affect him and my family? |
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