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t3_1s6ddl | relationships | My [18M] girlfriend [17F] of 1.5 years LOVES giving blowjobs. Weird? | My girlfriend and I are both in highschool and obeying law of consent in our state. We have been together for over a year now and have an amazing sex life.
However, my girlfriend just really loves giving blowjobs. When its that time of the month, my girlfriend declares it blowjob week. She has never been with anyone else and when we first got together I kind of had to guide her through the process and tell her what I liked. Now she is a pro and her blowjobs take me away to another world for awhile. She tries to make me last as long as possible because it gives her pleasure to do it, apparently.
Is this normal? Should I be concerned about anything like her wanting to blow other people? | girlfriend of a year and a half gives amazing blowjobs and loves to me give one almost everyday. Is this normal or something I should be weary of? |
t3_4sa34c | relationships | Me (25M) with coworker (21F) can't stop thinking about her | There is this girl at work, and I've developed a bit of a crush on her. When I first met her, I thought it was harmless, I thought she was pretty but never much else. Recently, we've been working together often one on one and have developed a bit of a bond. I can tell that we are getting a little bit close, but I seriously struggle with this type of thing.
Initially, we would just joke and laugh a lot. But as time wore on I've become slightly suspicious that she may have also developed a crush on me. She's made simple comments before, like asking "have you ever flirted with someone at work before" and has attempted to invite me out with her to bars and stuff (which I've unfortunately had to decline because I've been super busy). She also has talked extensively about her personal life, and initially I thought she was just the open-type of person, but I've slowly realized now I'm the only one shes told some of these things to. She genuinely make me happy to go to work and I can tell she likes being around me
There is a bit of an issue, she just is coming out of a relationship and has admitted the guy is making it hard for her to move on. I also am coming out of a long relationship, and while its been a fairly clean break for me, it's very fresh still and the last thing I want is her to seem like a rebound.
I've never ever been good with women. I don't pick up on signals easily, or I over think or over analyze and any feelings the person have just dwindle. Even now, here I am at 230 in the morning, can't sleep because I've been thinking about this.
I know there is sort of a golden rule, don't shit where you eat, but besides that, what should I do? Do you think any of this is a good idea to attempt to move forward with? | Girl at work has been on my mind like crazy. Both of us fresh out of relationships. Could I be overanalyzing (like I do)? What should I do? |
t3_2it9f5 | relationships | My ex[28/M] finally explained to me [24/F] why we broke up. Can someone explain to me a "label less" relationship? | My ex and I broke up earlier this year and during the break up, he couldn't put a finger on why, apart from the cliché of " I'm no longer in love with you, but I love you".
I immediately went NC and for the last 6 months, I've been attempting to move on from someone I thought I could see myself spending a large part of my life with.
Where this gets complicated is the fact that we recently reconnected. I've been seeing him on a purely friendly basis. Last night he came over for dinner and over a healthy amount of wine confessed that the reason we didn't make it was the fact that he's never been comfortable in "run of the mill" relationships with one primary partner ( open/closed).
He essentially felt like his interactions with people where limited and seeing as how he's always struggled with labels, he hates being labelled in anyway. ( Oh, also, he's just realised that he's been struggling though depression and anxiety over his identity).
We are already, overly intimate in the way we react with each other ( We still share and have an emotional connection) and, this wouldn't be on r/relationships if we hadn't slept together after he disclosed to me that he's back with his ex in a "label free not really a relationship " relationship.
My question is: I'm a fairly open person, I care about my ex, but I'm not particularly attracted to poly/monogamish/ non monogamous relationships.
If I continue seeing my ex ( in whatever capacity) am I opening myself up to more pain? Also, is he getting to have and eat ALL the cake? | Got physically/emotionally intimate with ex. Ex is in a"label free not really a relationship " relationship with his ex before me. Worried about getting hurt because I'm a fan of monogamy. |
t3_47gir9 | relationships | I [27 F] told my family some private information about my boyfriend [28 M]. | First time posting here so I am sorry if I structure anything wrong!
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We've each gone through and have been going through a lot recently. In my family we are very open about our lives and talk and support each other though a lot. Recently, I spoke with my mom and a couple of my sisters about some of the things he has been dealing with (briefly - not in detail) that have affected me as well. He told these things to me and never specifically said not to tell anyone; however, I know he is a very private person and has never told his family any private details about me. I am a less private person and don't mind if he tells details about me to his family. However, I know it takes a lot for him to open up to people and he doesn't often. It just kind of hit me how wrong it is what I did. I've been feeling absolutely horrible for disclosing a personal thing he has had going on to them. I know they will never mention it to him or to anyone but that does not matter because they know now and maybe he would not want them to know. I really wish I could go back in time, but I made a mistake and I can't.
My question is: Should I tell my boyfriend that I told them this information? Would telling him only serve to relieve my guilt about the matter? Would telling him be the best thing to do for our relationship and for him? | I told my mom and a couple of sisters a private detail about my boyfriend. Should I tell him what I did? |
t3_2cc2xh | relationships | I [18F] want my autistic brother [15M] to live a better life, but I have no idea how. | My brother has autism and has trouble with socializing. He is always in his room playing games and he never has friends over. He doesn't eat or drink unless I tell him to do so, and mainly because of this he is very skinny.
I think he has a pretty serious gaming addiction, and I would like him to spend more time with me, my parents, and away from his computer. I also want him to eat better and more regularly.
I have no idea how to get him to do this, but I am really worried about him. Is there something I can do to make him kick his addiction or to help him become more social? Are there good training programs to improve social skills or something like that? I would really appreciate some advice, I am out of ideas. | Younger brother has a gaming addiction and I would like to help him become more social and eat healthier. What can I do? |
t3_nc6ng | relationships | Girlfriend of 7 months decides to contact facebook before me (& I still haven't heard from her) upon arriving in India. Do I have the right to be offended. | I am an 18 year old guy in a very (or as as much as it can be at our age) serious relationship that has been going for between 7-9 months. I'm on my gap year right now, and she is a grade below me. I have been traveling extensively, and am always very good about checking in, which she appreciates.
Now she goes on this school trip to India over break. They've been gone for three days and I have yet to hear anything. I shrugged this off as either the program not giving them access to internet yet or them still not being settled in enough to devote any time to the computers. Then I see that she has been on facebook (a lame enough thing to do on a trip already), but has not contacted me. This was six or seven hours ago and I have yet to hear a word.
Am I being needy or overbearing now that she is the one traveling not me, or do I have a legitimate right to be a bit peeved? Isn't it common courtesy/shouldn't I expect her to want to contact me before facebook?
please be harsh if I am in the wrong here. | Serious GF is on school trip to India and has been active on facebook but has not contacted me since leaving 3-4 days ago. Do I have a right to be mad? |
t3_2ugpw7 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ex [19 F] one month after LTR, feeling like we're both caught up in a game. | She left me one month ago for completely understandable reasons, and I accepted it somewhat gracefully and used it to inspire positive change. I'm doing really well moving on, but it's extremely obvious she still has feelings for me, and it's making it hard for me to get back out there since I feel we're both caught up in a game of cat and mouse. After a couple weeks, I decided to unfriend her on social media. A few days ago she added me back on Snapchat, and within an hour posted up a story with her new relationship. I didn't open it since I could tell from the thumbnail, and it didn't bother me. Today I posted a story of some friends and I hanging out, and she didn't view it. It's obvious both of our behaviors are making an impression on each other. I know it sounds ridiculous reading into things so much, but she has done a lot of little things ever since the break-up to try to get some sort of reaction out of me.
It doesn't help that my female friend says my ex always stares at her when they see each other, and I really don't want there to be any drama. There's no hard feelings on my side, and I don't want her to keep any unhealthy animosity. I want both of us to be able to move on and let go of the past. Part of me wants to speak up and say we need to stop this, as it's unhealthy for both of us. The other part says that all it will do is stir up more anger for a game that may be all in my head for all I know. Would it be a wise idea to speak up and say something? | Almost positive Ex and I are caught up in a game of cat and mouse over social media, want it to end for both of our sakes. Should I speak up? |
t3_3bwyei | AskDocs | Sweating A Few Days After A Cold? | First, let's get the info out of the way. I don't think this is a medical emergency, just curiosity:
Age: 27
Sex: F
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 238
Race: Caucasian
Duration of complaint: Today
Location (Geographic and on body): South-Central CA, and all over
Any existing relevant medical issues (if any): Cold on Monday/Tuesday
Current medications (if any): Levothyroxin 100 mcg, taken daily, Allegra OTC one per day, Qlearquil Day, every four hours, Z-Pack, 1 per day
I had a bad cold on Monday/Tuesday, though I seemed to be feeling better yesterday. The cold consisted of a sore throat around the mouth/nose/up the right ear sore throat, a fever of 100-102 during Monday night, and a bad headache that felt like someone was slicing my brain, and when I did dream, it was kind of delusional, between the pair and fever.
I didn't get any sleep that night, hopped down to Urgent Care at the earliest we could, around 8.
Got a report saying pharyngitis, upper respiratory infection, a note to take the night off work (work swing shift) and Z-pack in hopes that it'd kick the sore throat's butt if nothing else. Taking it due to doctor's directions, though it doesn't seem to be stopped the sore throat at all, as its kind of tingly and makes it hard to talk still.
I'm just wondering why I was feeling energetic yesterday, a whole lot better than today or Tuesday. I'm back to feeling really sleepy and I'm breaking out in cold sweats, though my thermometer is giving me normal temperature readings, at least for me. | Crappy Monday night, felt like someone was trying to put Excalibur back into its stone, and that stone was my skull. Felt better yesterday, felt like a took a bath in salt today. |
t3_19y80p | dating_advice | [27M] confused by sudden distance from "girlfriend?" [27F] | Backstory: I met this girl 4 years ago, and we have been good friends for most of that time. Her previous relationship ended suddenly and painfully for her. Our friendship became stronger, and we became closer over a couple months. Started dating, everything going really well. I was worried about the idea of just being a "rebound", so I didn't rush into things, making sure she knew what she wanted.
Things were going really well, until she suddenly had a shift in attitude, saying "I'm getting too attached to you", "This is too deep, the way I'm feeling", and "I don't know if I can let that happen".
I can think this thing to death, but I could really use some outside perspective.
I sent her some messages that night stating my position on the matter, but it seems to me she isn't quite over her last boyfriend, or fears getting attached due to the risk of losing it again (?)
She says she read and thought about what I said, but left it at that, so now I'm in the dark about what she's thinking. She is still communicating, so she hasn't shut me out... but her text style is noticeably different.
I told her that, when she's ready, I want to get together and talk about what happened... just struggling to keep my mind off of it at the moment.
Should I leave her alone until she contacts me, or should I try to set a time with her to have a discussion? I have plans with friends that I'd invited her to on the weekend; should I remind her about what's going on? | GF doesn't seem to be over her last relationship, had a panic attack about her feelings towards me. She says she is getting "too attached" and now things have gotten a bit weird. |
t3_1pfi0v | relationships | My (18F) girlfriend sexted another guy while her and I (17M) were broken up [Relationship] | My girlfriend and I had been together for 16 months when we broke up for about a month. We didn't talk much during that time but were able to fix things (or so I thought) and get back together.
Today, a few months later, I go onto Facebook and see that she had exchanged some messages between her and her ex boyfriend.
Curiosity got the better of me and I opened up the messages, and was almost immediately greeted with naked pictures of my girlfriend and her ex, and lots of dirty talk between them.
I was extremely upset and confronted her immediately about it. She didn't know what I was talking about (or did she?) until I told her I found it on Facebook.
At that point she fessed up to it and started apologizing, and she also let me know that she was drunk when it happened. I told her basically that I was extremely upset and that I would talk to her later about it.
That's when she drove over to my house and asked to talk to me about it. (I had cooled down at that point so I was okay with it) She told me that she really wants to fix things with me, that it was a mistake, all of that.
I don't know what to do from here. Go ahead and AMA if you think it'll help you help me. | Girlfriend and I broke up, she sexted another guy during that time, I don't know what to do |
t3_3y2jok | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend [21F] thinks pregnancy will tear our relationship apart | Hello everyone. I'm 20 and my SO is 21. We've been together for around one and a half year now. We have sex frequently and we love each other so much. So much that even if I leave her be for one-two weeks she starts crying about how much she misses me and so do I. She's taking pills and I'm using condoms to prevent pregnancy. Even though, she still thinks It's possible for pregnancy and if she gets pregnant she wont have an abortion. We both go to college and personally my carreer is really important. She says if she gets pregnant she'd break up with me for the sake of my peace of mind so that I can graduate and have a life. Even with all the precautions, I use condoms, she is on pills, I dont ejaculate inside her and such, the idea of getting pregnant scares so much that she wont have sex sometimes or walk around with a bad mood. How can I make it up to her to think that Its not really possible to get pregnant after all these precautions? I dont want her to feel stressed after everytime we have sex, and yes, she is the ONE. I've been with plenty of women and I'm sure I wont ever leave her for nonsense reasons to start with. Any kind of help is appreciated. | She thinks pregnancy will tear us apart, and having sex stresses her out even with all the precautions. Help me out with how to calm her down. |
t3_3qkzf7 | relationships | My [21F] ex broke up with me [21 M] after 4 years. It's been 3 months and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel | I'm seriously depressed. We were almost a family, and she took off with no regrets. She's living life, going to party, knowing new people all the time, and I can't even focus on the basic things I need to do for myself.
I've been considering going on psychological treatment. I think this isn't normal. We had such a nice relationship, with ups and downs, we were so close and confident. And now I may have idealized her due to this situation, making her perfect in my mind when I seriously know she isn't.
I feel lost, alone, uncomprehended, rejected. How can in the world somebody take off like that? I keep replaying this in my mind and can't see other way around it.
I genuinely was the 'supportive' part of the relationship. Without my care and good will, we would have broken up several months or years before. Why must I suffer the most, when I put every ounce of myself on this, and she mistreated me so many times?
I've lost faith in life. I know for sure life is the most unfair thing in the universe. But does it pay off? Will I ever be ok again? Despite all the shit she did, I miss her so much, I need her support and care. This pain is consuming me. When will it end? | Feeling devastated. The relationship kept going because of me. She did a lot of shit an disrespected me. Why must I suffer the most? I can't keep on going. |
t3_203mrc | pettyrevenge | ProTip: Don't call the wrong apartment or you're going to have a BAD time. | **The Setup:** My girlfriend, "Susan," is in apartment #1 in her complex and gets called at all hours to let people in. Many of these calls come from visitors who are too lazy to look up the correct dial code, and most are girls meeting their boyfriends (i.e. repeat offenders).
**The Revenge:**
A young woman rings the front gate at 11pm Saturday night. "Hello, is Dave there?" she asks. Susan replies in a sly way "I'm sorry but Dave is... *indisposed* right now." The woman replies "I wasn't asking if Dave was available, I want to be let in!"
A few days later another girl rings the front gate, this time at 9pm. "Hey Matt, can you let me in?" Susan replies "Sure, who is this?" The girl responds hesitantly "This is Beth." "Beth" Susan responds, "you've been replaced. I'm Matt's new girl now." This sends Beth into a fury of profanity as Susan hangs up the phone.
Susan and I are hoping that if she keeps screwing with callers that that eventually people will learn to dial the correct number at the front gate. | In the petty revenge justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the redditors who recount the crime and the heroes who punish the offenders. These are their stories. |
t3_ehudv | self | A Small Holiday Rant | For anyone unfamiliar with their Greek, the letter "X" is pronounced "Chi." The combination of this letter, with the Greek "P" or "Rho," have been traditionally used to abbreviate the word Χριστος ("Christ") since as early as 1021 AD. The labarum ( an image of a letter "P" bisecting a letter "X" is a common Christian symbol used to simulate the religion's savior. The term "Xpian" has been used as a short form word for "Christian" as early as 1485. There is even a reference of "Xpianity" as a shortening for "Christianity" around 1634.
As someone could easily see, the use of the Chi to signify Christ is a tremendously old practice in classical and English languages. This happens to be a fact which has organically created an rather common abbreviation for one of the world's favorite holidays. | The next person who complains that "Xmas" takes the "Christ" out of "Christmas" needs a kick in the head, and some freaking education. |
t3_fjc3a | AskReddit | How can I learn to deal with a co-worker that I simply can't stand? | I work for a small company of less than 20 people. We are all mostly young people in our twenties. I'm friends with most of my co-workers and I enjoy hanging out with them, all except one. Let's call him Bob. Bob annoys a lot of people including me because he's socially ignorant, interrupts people's conversations, is condescending, etc. Now it's basically impossible to get a group together to get dinner or hang out without him also going. I've chosen to just go somewhere by myself because I can't stand him, but I prefer to learn how to deal with it so that I don't lose my friendships with everyone else. What should I do to accomplish this? | I have one annoying co-worker that I try to avoid but it means not spending time with my other co-workers that I like. How can I learn to deal with the annoying one? He's not going away. |
t3_34mbvi | tifu | TIFU by ruining my brother's wedding | So this like many of TIFUs happened a few years ago. 15 years ago to be exact when I was 6 years old. My brother (27 at the time) was getting married to a Spanish woman. My brother's mother in law was a horrible lady, she was very religious and once made my brother work in the sun all day long cutting wood up for her because she found out her daughter gave my brother a blowjob.
The rest of my family hated my brother's future mother in law so we came up with a came for her, which was "kick *insert mother inlaws name here*". This game was the football verison of swingball and my whole family used to kick the football around the garden chanting her name as we hated her so much. So me being my 6 year old self went up to this my brother's future mother in law and told her we have a game for her. At this point she was being really really interested in what I was going to say like 'Oh have you darling that's so nice'. I then drop the bombshell telling her EVERYTHING on HER ONLY DAUGHTERS WEDDING DAY. | Had a game about my brother's mother in law where the rest of my family used to kick a football around the garden chanting her name. I then told her about the game on her daughter's wedding day. |
t3_13vlc0 | dating_advice | Can a long distance relationship be successful IRL? | About a year ago, I downloaded an app on my iPod where you could chat with strangers from all around the world. There, I met a girl who lives in a different country than mine, but we really have a good chemistry. We've been chatting almost everyday ever since, and we developped something greater than friendship together. She plans on coming to my country to go to college, she already applied (but she wanted to do that even before meeting me); I want to have some opinions on wether our relationship can stay as great as it is now when she moves. Thank you all!
P.S. We'll both be 18 when she moves, currently 17. | I'm in love with a girl I know only over the internet and she loves me back; she's coming to my country soon. Can it work? |
t3_3863rc | relationships | Me [21F] with my BF [23M] of 6 months LDR, first vacation together, how to tell my strict parents? | Throwaway because everyone uses reddit. My parents are very strict, I was never allowed to go to sleepovers, nor go anywhere by myself. I've studied abroad and go to college, where I do what I like, and they seem fine with that, but when I'm home, they control me, particularly my father, who is an alcoholic. He doesn't physically abuse me, but sometimes his verbal abuse becomes so overbearing that my mother and I go to a hotel, but I don't have a great relationship with her either.
Anyway, I met my boyfriend online, and my parents are so old-school that they assume everyone online is a serial killer or sexual predator, so I lied and said I met my boyfriend at a college party. They were mostly ambivalent about it, probably because it's long-distance (my dad practices the classic abuse tactic of isolation and is generally wildly jealous of me spending time with other people) so they have nothing to worry about.
BUT I know they will absolutely lose it about me going on vacation with my boyfriend, which I'm doing for a week this summer. I'm doing it with or without their blessing, but I want this to go as smoothly as possible. So, to all the helpful and hopefully cunning redditors on here, I ask, what is this best way to do this?
I've considered slowly dropping hints to my mother and seeing if she reconciles with the idea, just breaking it to them the morning I leave, lying and saying I'm going on a vacation with friends (and doing enough research to make that plausible), lying and saying that I'm doing something related to my senior thesis, or just leaving without saying anything and writing a note.
I know I'm legally an adult, but I still live with them and I don't put it past my father to try to physically stop me from leaving. I'm looking, ideally, for a way to say spin this that stops them from being so controlling, or at the very least the way I can get out with the least drama. | Incredibly strict parents will flip sh*t over my first vacation with boyfriend, what is the best way to lie my way around that? |
t3_2l7s5c | relationships | Girl (23 F) I have been dating for the past few weeks just told me (25 M) she is transgender. | We have gone out a few times and really hit it off great. Have been talking for weeks. She is extremely good looking and would be near impossible to tell. I have dated many girls and consider myself fairly well versed with females and I really had no suspicion.
We have made out and been touchy feely. It was getting close to being more intimate and then she revealed to me she was born a boy. Now I like to consider myself very open minded and liberal. But I took this as sort of a betrayal. She presented herself one way to me but was keeping this huge secret from me. I tried being understanding but I pretty much just ended it with her and I am feeling like kind of a dick.
I know it took alot for her to admit that to me. I think she is a great person. Im far from perfect but I just dont see it as something I could do. I want to get married and have kids. I am fully attracted to the female body. I don't feel I could get past this. Basically I don't ever see myself accepting it and am maybe looking for some reassurance with my feelings. | Dated a girl for a few weeks. Hit it off great until she told me she was transgender. I ended it. |
t3_4u3obr | relationships | Me (29F) and SO (31M) disagreeing politically/ethically, will this be a deal breaker? | Long story short--I had previously posted a few months ago in PF. My (29F) boyfriend (31M) of 1 year has 268K of student debt plus about 10K of credit card debt. He makes close to 90K a year. When I posted previously, my boyfriend had the attitude of "I'll just pay the minimums and then it'll be forgiven after 20 years". So we broke up.
About a month later he came back with a big plan and we got back together. Things were going great, until recently when he's been touting his presidential pick saying "They're just going to get rid of student loans and forgive them all and I won't have to slave away forever". His attitude (not so much his politics) are really starting to irk me. I don't have problems with loan forgiveness, but to simply just bank on having all your loans forgiven? He hasnt even tried to pay anything above his minimums. It makes me feel like he wouldn't honor commitments. Here he is, he signed for these loans, but he has no intention of wanting to repay them EVEN THOUGH its what helped get him his job. It makes me feel like if he can get out of anything, he will try to. I am NOT against student loan forgiveness--I even have a few loans myself, but I am actively trying to pay them while I am in school.
I tried explaining to him that he signed a contract, but he just keeps touting the same line "well it'll all just be forgiven anyway" which makes me feel like he is falling back into his old tricks of not paying anything above what he has to.
Before I thought there was hope for us. Again, its not so much his politics but it just upsets me that he feels he can treat contracts like this. Would he do the same for marriage? Its starting to put a strain on me, feeling like he will try to get out of anything he can. | Me (29F) and SO (31M) at odds over honoring contracts, I feel like he will try to take the easy way out on everything |
t3_2ghm7t | relationships | Should I [20F] tell my ex-boyfriend [22M] that I got diagnosed with a hormone imbalance? | In the past few months I've also had irregular periods and down-there bacterial infections. My weight had also been fluctuating significantly, up to 5 pounds a week. I also started getting acne. I went to the doctor today and got diagnosed with a "hormonal imbalance", which she said was in turn most likely caused by my recent travel; we had taken a trip to Argentina together in June. She said that international travel can trigger a hormonal imbalance in women who are on non-hormonal birth control (I have the Paragard, the non-hormonal IUD) because hormonal birth control can regulate hormonal imbalances triggered by external events. She recommended I switch to hormonal birth control, which I agreed to.
So, how does this fit into my last relationship? Well, apparently a hormonal imbalance can cause violent mood swings, including bouts of anger. In the last few months of my relationship, I had started acting irrational and angry and clingy and after enough time spent in a vicious cycle of fighting -> apologizing -> fighting again, he got sick of it and broke up with me. He broke up with me two weeks ago. Our last fight was particularly terrible because we had just entered long distance.
Of course, I can't *prove* to him that my irrationality was caused by this hormonal imbalance I was diagnosed with. All I know is that I got diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance that my doctor said was likely triggered in June, and that I had started acting clingy/angry in June. I don't know how he'll react to this. Maybe he'll be sympathetic and ask to get back together, maybe he'll think that I'm just being desperate, I don't know. In any case, should I even bother telling him? Would you care if your ex came to you and told you this? | Boyfriend dumped me because I started acting irrational, I just found out my irrationality was somewhat medically justified. Should I tell him? |
t3_2tokdv | relationships | My BF [26 M] of 1.5 years, chose to play video games and masturbate rather than hang out and have sex with me [26, F]. | My boyfriend and I live together. We have great sex, although only 1-3x per week. He has been easily stressed out lately and is less in the mood than normal. Also, he has been unemployed for a few months, and since then, spends many hours a day straight playing video games. Most week nights, he is playing video games when I come home and still when I go to bed. Unless we go hang out with other friends, he acts like he is stressed out and just wants to zone out to video games.
I didn't think sex was an issue until last night, although I would prefer a bit more frequently. I had noticed that he has been less in the mood lately, and would occasionally turn down sex, implying he was too tired or stressed (I don't even know what he could be tired or stressed out about). Last night was one of these nights, he just wanted to play video games and said he wasn't in the mood.
Then this morning there is a bunch of porn in the search history of my laptop. (I had been looking for a link I saw yesterday, not to check on what he was up to.)
When I talked to him about it, and said I felt rejected, he said I was being ridiculous, he didn't do anything wrong, and it's much different to masturbate than be with someone else. He said it is just a personal thing, not that he would want to be with anyone else. I still feel rejected. To me, masturbating is still a sexual act, and he still didn't want to have sex with me. He also indicated that this has happened previously, when he turned me down for sex, me thinking because he was tired or not in the mood, only to masturbate later while I slept. He seemed totally unapologetic or understanding.
I'm all for masturbation and porn, I don't think that itself is wrong. But am I wrong to feel hurt? | My boyfriend would rather play video games and masturbate to porn than hang out and have sex with me. How would you feel? |
t3_20i8s7 | relationships | I [17 M] have a crush on [19 F], don't know how to approach her. | Okay. So I'm a junior in high school and I like this girl that's a senior.. We see eachother in the hallways occassionally and we take the same bus to school every other day.
I've had a crush on her for a while now but I never really knew her name until like 2 days ago when I found out her name (not from her though) so I added her on facebook and she accepted.
Since it's spring break and there's no school, I was thinking i'd message her on facebook, maybe strike up a conversation.. but the thing is - I have absolutely no idea how.
I'm like really really inexperienced with girls.
Also since she's older and finishing school this year maybe it'd be a little weird that a younger guy starts to message her? Plus exams are coming up and she's prolly gonna be busy, would I just be bothering her? | I'm 17, she's 19, would it be weird that some younger guy that she doesn't know from school started messaging her? |
t3_2q46pi | relationships | Me [15F] with my parents [43/47], they want to get rid of our cat [6M] | So we got our cat, Mac, about two months ago. He's six years old. They've both had dogs before, and this is our first cat. My brother [8M] and I fell in love with him right away, and although my parents said that they hated him, they began to warm up to him.
We've been having some issues with Mac lately. He's been throwing up after eating, and to solve this, we've begun to feed him smaller portions. The problem with this is that my parents feed him smaller portions less frequently, and he gets really hungry throughout the day. I'll come home from school and he'll be all over me, trying to get me to feed him.
The second problem is that he gets pretty aggressive when he's hungry. I'm talking biting our legs when we aren't looking or chasing you if you go into the kitchen and don't feed him. He bites my mom the most, and she's really fed up with him. She screams at him, hits him, starts crying and yelling at me and my brother. My dad does the same, minus the crying, as he just hits Mac on his head when he acts up.
I really wish that they wouldn't hit him, but whenever I bring it up, they just yell at me and tell me that they're gonna give him up for adoption. I can't imagine life without him. My mom hates him because he bites and my dad is always hitting him. He's just a cat, and they act like he's conspiring something against them. One of my mom's rants frequently includes that he's just "pretending to be hungry." If they fed him more often, he probably wouldn't be so aggressive when he's hungry.
I'm really scared that one day, I'll come home and he won't be there. Or that my dad will go too far when he hits him and he'll cause serious injury to Mac. I just don't want them to hurt him anymore.
Is there any way that I can change their minds about Mac? Can we train him to not bite anymore? | Parents don't feed cat when he's hungry, cat bites when he wants food. Parents want cat out, I love my cat very very much. How can I change their minds? |
t3_4h37w8 | tifu | TIFU by introducing my knee to an electrical wire | This actually happened today, about 2 hours ago. My friend and I were leaving a popular student lounge on campus, and on our walk back to my car we were tossing a small squishy foam ball, sort of like [this one] Don't worry, there weren't any cars on the road because it was about 10:00 at night, but we could barely see the ball coming so it was pretty clear this was a stupid idea that wouldn't end well, but we were just goofing around and not thinking about stuff like that. Anyway, he was about 10 yards away, and I was walking backwards while facing him. He tossed the ball, but it went a bit too far -- about 5 yards behind me. I ran after it, but I failed to take note of my surroundings and slammed into a ground wire for an electrical pole and sliced my knee, giving me three cuts that wouldn't stop bleeding. I was lucky enough to not get electrocuted, but it's now been a few hours, and the scratches are refusing to stop bleeding so now I have my knee wrapped in gauze. | My friend and I were throwing a ball on the streets like morons, I wasn't watching where I was going, and my knee said hello to a live wire. |
t3_1my8kn | legaladvice | Advice on Guardianship of my God-daughter? | Kia Ora (Hello!) from New Zealand redditors!
A few days ago I was talking with one of my best mates (lets call her Rose), whose wee girl is my god-daughter. Somehow, Rose and I went into the topic of if something disastrous had happened to her and her partner and they weren't here anymore, then who the guardians would be for their child.
Since I have known my god-daughter when she was baby and have an awesome relationship with her and her parents, I told Rose I would be guardian in a heart beat.
The problem is that her ex-partner (who she had the daughter with), is a violent, woman bashing, tosser who currently doesn't give half a shit about his daughter that he could of had. But Rose is 99% sure, for shits and giggles he would change his mind on that and do everything he could to get guardianship with his apparently, very skilled lawyer father.
I have tried to look up some legislation on these issues but I'm a little unsure where I may stand.
*I am "unofficial" Godfather, only appointed
*Child's parents are going to put my name on Will as a guardian
*Child's birth father is very violent and very unsatisfactory as a guardian, though his lawyer father has a very successful record
[New Zealand Legislation on Child Care/Guardianship] | Godfather wanting to know where I stand for guardianship of my Goddaughter especially over violent birthfather, see link for New Zealand Legislation |
t3_2gptk7 | tifu | TIFU by visiting /r/freebies | So my wife loves free samples. Loves them. Tiny boxes of laundry detergent, small foil packets of shampoo. All free samples. One day I stumbled across the subreddit /r/freebies and figure this is a great opportunity to get her some single serving surprises. Anything that sounds up her alley I grab. Moisturizers? Yup. Hair care? Yup. Feminine hygiene products? Yup.
Over the past few weeks packages of varying sizes arrive in the mail. Today a slightly larger box from Proctor and Gamble is waiting for us when we get home from work. After the normal post-work routine - take the dog out, get dinner started - she goes to check out this purple box. Upon opening the packet of freebies she stops and stares at me with that look that says 'are you fucking kidding me'? I look at what's in her hands - a few samples of Always pads - and realize why it's funny. A dude ordering free samples of sanitary pads. That's why she's looking at me like that. Right? RIGHT? [Nope.](
Always. Discreet. Bladder. Protection.
Bladder.
We laughed our asses off for the next 20 minutes before she said 'is this one of those 'today I fucked ups'? | Thought I ordered my wife a free sample of a feminine pad, but instead insinuated that she has the bladder control of a 90 year old. |
t3_3dwgji | relationships | Me [28m] with my crush[28f] 4 months now, is she trying to rekindle? | Right, so me and this girl have a past of dating on and off and decided to stay friends after the last time we ended up sleeping together.
Two weeks ago we went to see a movie and nothing happened, we just honestly went out as friends and that was that.
We've maintained contact and the way that has been has been sort of flirty and when i go out she's hinting she'd like it if i stayed the night after, though we haven't let that happen yet due to our busy schedules.
She asked me during one of our conversations that "if i were to stay the night, i honestly believed nothing would happen, not even a kiss" and i told her "i'd like that to happen but it's not something i expect you to still want from me"
Now, today she told me the way we're going at this "friendship" she feels like it's something else than friendship and she acts differently with me than with her others friends, when i ask for clarification she basically tells me she likes me in a way more than friends.
Now this is where we decided to stop the conversation and let it rest. Me being a moron when it comes to these kind of things i can't figure out if she's trying to rekindle and see if we can be more than just friends in a slow pace or that she's just letting me know she feels like to her it feels like it's something else than friendship but doesn't want to act on it. | Me and girl i used to date have a friendship now and she told me to her it felt like this friendship is something more than friendship though she hasn't acted on it yet. |
t3_y7qi5 | relationships | male (23) asking question about female (22). Should I stay, or should I go? | I dated a girl for about three years in college. During this time, I loved her a lot, but the love was not always reciprocated. She cheated on me once, and multiple times had strong feelings for other guys that she would make time to see. The whole thing made me feel really bad.
Then, I moved away after graduation and we broke up (this was one year ago). Lately, we've been talking again, and all the sudden, she said she really loves me and wants to be with me forever. This is what I've always wanted! I was so happy. She is going to France for a year, but she plans on moving in with me once she gets back. Then, two weeks later, she says, she can't feel like she's in a relationship with me, if we can only see each other a couple times in the next year. She wants to just wait until we can see each other again and start back up next year.
I was fine with this, but then she told me she needs to be physical with other guys for the next year . At the same time she is telling me she loves me. That makes me feel really bad - that she can say she loves me but still need physical relationships with other guys.
My question is - should I wait it out and trust everything will be okay in a year? Or should I just move on? I really love her, and I know moving on is tough. So I am hoping for the first option. | a girl wants me to wait for a year while she is with other guys. Worth it? Should I trust everything will be great once she is ready? |
t3_2840nx | tifu | TIFU by being awkward as fuck at college orientation | Everyone knows those awkward situations that orientations put you through.
Well, I'm at the orientation for this place I will soon call home for the next 4 years, surrounded by people I don't know (I'm not even from the same state as half of these people) and, of course, everyone's favorite icebreaking activity is whipped out. "What is an event that has completely changed your life?"
I am boring as hell. I sit at home all day, play video games, eat food, and sometimes hang out with friends. THAT'S IT (can you tell how many girlfriends I've had?). Of course everyone else has these cool ass stories like "My friend did a double back flip and broke her neck, but she is still OK. I learned to live life to the fullest every day" and all that other BS.
Well, after most everyone had gone I just *haaaaad to* share my story, even though the guides said we didn't have to. All while everyone else was talking, I was devising this convoluted plan to make everyone laugh, and I would be the new Adam Sandler of my college, or something.. Granted, I've never done an interesting thing in my life!
Finally, it is my chance to speak up.. And what do I do? Oh ho ho, I don't do anything awesome at all; no Adam Sandler for this bad boy. I tell a half-assed story about how I quit baseball when I was a kid.. Not only does this show how unatheletic I am, but also how adamant I am about being a lazy slob; I stripped down to my skimmies to hand my uniform in, because that's the only way my dad would let me quit. That was supposed to be the punch line.
I looked around after a few forced chuckles from my lovely crowd, and proceeded to turn beet red. Apparently it isn't too good of an idea to go from talking about somebody dying in a car crash to a naked child handing a baseball uniform to a possible pedophile..
Yeah, people didn't talk to me very much after that incident. | you want everyone at orientation to hate you, talk about being a naked ass kid handing in your baseball uniform because you don't want to play. |
t3_2ntcw5 | weddingplanning | Nothing like being asked "why" you're getting married.. (vent...) | I've been with my FH for a little over two years, and when we get married we will have been engaged for 2 days short of two years (we seriously knew we would get married within days of beginning to date- we are perfect for each other) and while my father's side of my family (parents are divorced) have been super supportive and are helping with the whole shindig, and his family is super happy for us and so supportive, my mother's side is...less than great. I try to talk to my mom about getting married, and she just stares at me and doesn't respond. I tell my grandmother (her mother, someone who I've always been close to and has always been an important figure in my life) and she says "why are you getting married?" Now both my mother and my grandmother were divorced (my mother is insane, my dad is a pretty normal guy) and I think they're just relationship-haters and man-haters at this point. I've been crying pretty much non-stop since yesterday because I'm so crushed that my grandmother is negative about it and literally does not care- not so much as a congratulations or anything. We're living together, spent every day together before that, and I don't understand where the surprise (if any) would come in. Sigh. I'm just devastated. | wah my grandma doesn't care I'm getting married and it's probably the most painful thing I've experienced in some time. |
t3_jtcha | AskReddit | What the fuck should I do with my life? | I need help. I graduated from a good University with shitty GPA and a shitty degree in May 2011. With a strong LSAT score I got into a decent Law school with a decent scholarship. However, I had been reading more and more about how the market sucks for lawyers. And I started doubting my decision to attend law school. Honestly I had never been that passionate about practicing law, I just didn't know what to do at the time. In the end I decided to defer my acceptance a year (so I am now slated to start law school in Fall 2012).
When I decided to defer, I thought i would have no trouble finding a job. However, I quickly found that this was not the case. I wanted to find a job at a law firm so that I could gain experience in the field. I applied for some jobs and had a few interviews, but I never got hired. My spirits slowly diminished. Within the last few weeks I moved back home with my parents because I didn't have a job. I'm starting to think more and more that I don't want to go to law school, but I have no idea what else to do with my life.
This past week a got a job at Dunkin' donuts, and I have my first day there tomorrow. I am too embarrassed to tell people I work there, I feel like such a failure. I keep thinking maybe I should go to graduate school for something else, but I have no idea what. I also am scared of acquiring debt from going to school. I ave no idea what I want to do with my life. I can't seem to find a job, and I'm not sure if going to grad school is the right option. I am depressed. I will take any and all advice. I honestly have no idea what to do. | 22 y/o male who lives with parents and works at dunkin donuts. Has useless liberal arts degree. Depressed. |
t3_4hyode | relationships | Me [20M] Mentally Unhealthy to know how Relationships and Life work. | I'm living and empty life so far.
What do I really want in life. My dream girl, I can not settle for less because i'll still feel empty. So why don't I go for a girl of my dreams. Work. Well ofcourse it takes hard work for you to be able to land your dream girl. But how can I really know if she's a dream girl if she won't even let me interact with her before I judge.
The answer always sounds so simple, I want to land a perfect girl; Then i have to be perfect in order to do that. I have to be attractive to a female.
Something in my head is stubborn, that I feel like I always have to work, work, work, and i'm always wanting more like an addiction just so that everything in my life leaves me due to my greed.
I sit here; living my life as society tells me, I have dreams… sure. But i'm no longer living. I'm always afraid to fight because i'm well aware that all my actions and all the end results will always be a cycle.
I've been extremely negative with no one ever to support me, but hell this is life isn't it. everyone has to do things on their own, it's how I was raised.
I can go on and on with all the problems and habits that have, more so that my throat at this very moment is choking itself without the use of my hands. I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with me mentally, and i feel so angry and sad that i can't ever have a normal life with a family in the future.
I want help, and life advice from someone who has been through a lifetime. | I'm stuck on living life because i can never hold onto what I really want in life. Can you please give me guidance? |
t3_4xv7zl | relationships | [M/20] My [F/21] is beginning to shut me out emotionally. | When me and my GF started dating, she had just been seeing this other guy, whom she described the end of the relationship as whenever he touched her or something like that she felt like "ughh".
She told me at the start that this usually happens after 6 months whenever she really starts feeling vulnerable because it's easier to shut someone out than to really let someone in and become vulnerable.
Now I have to move 3 hours away and she can move there in about 6 months, we talked about moving in together and agreed to do that.
However ever since that (the past couple of weeks) she has begun shutting off emotionally as she thinks I might cheat on her or not have time for her anymore, so it's easier to be the one shutting me out. This means that she doesn't want to have sex either, and say what you want, sex is an important bonding part of a relationship.
I have no intention of doing so at all, however as we had to become more serious in our relationship, she has begun shutting me out and says the "ughh" feeling is sort of returning and that she can't really fully relax with me there right now.
We are talking about it and everything, but it is really hard to just slowly watch her neglect me, especially because just before that I realized that she really means a lot to me.
Is there anything I can do in order to make her open up or anything like that?
(I'm moving in 2 weeks) | My Gf has begun shutting me out both sexually and emotionally as she thinks i might cheat or dump her due to me moving away for school. |
t3_4jyq8h | relationships | My boyfriend (28M) of a year wants to get married after accidentally getting me (28F) pregnant, but I'm not ready. | I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for about a year. Recently I found out I'm 12 weeks pregnant. After a lot of thinking, crying, and talking we decided to keep the baby and we couldn't be happier.
My boyfriend is somewhat traditional and thinks that now that we are having a baby we need to get married. He hasn't proposed yet, but I know he is going to because he has already started talking about who his best man will be, where and when the wedding will be, etc. When he talks about it I usually try to switch topics because I'm just not ready yet.
I love him and hope to spend the rest of my life with him, and I think it's very respectable that he is willing to marry me for the sake of our child, but I don't think it's the best idea--for us or our baby. I know if I wasn't pregnant he wouldn't want to get married right now, and I don't want to feel like I'm marrying someone who is forced into marrying me. I don't think either of us are ready for marriage, and I feel like it will add so much pressure to our relationship that it could end up ruining something that would otherwise be good.
I know we will both be good and loving parents even if we aren't married, and I really believe that not rushing into marriage will allow us to continue to develop our relationship in a healthy way until we are truly ready.
I'm not sure how to tell him I don't want to marry him right now without hurting him or making him think I don't see marriage in our future, because I do want to marry him eventually--just not out of obligation and not right now. How can I break it to him that I don't want to get married right now without ruining what we have? | Boyfriend wants to get married after finding out I'm unexpectedly pregnant. I'm not ready for marriage yet and don't know how to tell him without ruining what we have. |
t3_3u3bd3 | relationships | Me [25M] with my ex [27F] we broke up, started dating again, everything was fine up untill friday | We broke up some time ago for various reasons, but the sole relationship was really good, and those reasons weren't something thats a huge red flag you cant work it out so we decided to hang out and date again.
Im having the mindset of building a new relationship with her since the old one apparently didnt work out.
Everything was going pretty weel, especially last week when we spent like 5 days together. Up untill saturday, I came to her place friday night after work, she cooked something I cleaned and we ended up playing some music up untill 3 am.. I asked can I crash since we had some beers and ended up staying over we talkedin bed untill 5 got some sleep. Mornng was great too we went to a coffee shop I ask if she has time for a quick brunch - but she said its a but too much for me, so I backed off. And then something changed.
She became completly unresponsive, and started texting her friends for 15 mins which was the first time I ever seen her do that with me. I asked if everything is okay ? Did I upset her with anything to which she relied "no" I drove her home in complete silence. Dropped her a quick thanks for hanging out and dinner text I hope everything is well.
She responded that she appreciated me being concerned but it also adds to her feeling more overwhelmed with what she's dealing with.
And I havent heard from here since - which is a complete change in our communication pattern.
So what would you make of it reddit ? Should I give her more space ? Wait untill she texts me or just pretendend nothing happen and try to communicate as usuall ? she doesnt want to talk about those particular things she is dealing with, so it makes me assume its relatd to me, that and I saw one of her friends texting her " Have you had the talk yet ? " | Ex gf that Im dating again completly changed her behavior and communication pattern in a span of 30 min small coffee date, havent heard from her since. |
t3_1rfd1k | relationships | GF(24) broke up with me(24), it was not long relationship but im confused now, should i just forget her or try to call her. | I started dating one girl i know for years but we never really talked.She had boyfriend for 1,5 years and broke up with him less than 2 months ago.Told me few times that i am not her type but she finds me attractive.Everyday i started to like her more and i though she was feeling the same.
She broke up with me after few weeks, telling me that we are too different,and that she cant relax around me. She is still thinking about her ex, and loves him. Even when we had sex ( that was only once) she said that in one moment she remembered him because he was her first. She wants to be alone for some time and she is not ready for something serious.
That day before she broke up with me i felt something was wrong, the way she talked, the way we kissed, everything was strange.
After she told me everything and i was sure she doesnt want to date me anymore she started talking how i am a good kisser, and got closer to me like she want me to kiss her. I didnt and i just walked her home, and the whole way she was holding my arm. When we got to her home i kissed her on cheek and said goodbye, she said something like "don't be like that" and kissed me( kiss was a lot better than when we met that day), then we were standing there for few seconds and she was looking at me like i am supposed to say something and i just said goodbye again and left.
Now I'm not sure if she really broke up with me because of her ex, or as some of my friends are saying, she is testing me to see if i really like her or something like that. Does she want me to chase her? | girl broke up with me, not sure if it because of her ex or me not giving her enough attention, don't know what to do now. |
t3_2rqm91 | tifu | TIFU by not bringing in my newspapers | So I've been delivering roughly 100 individual local newspapers five days a week for 3 years now and this is the first and hopefully last time this has happened to me.
So I was in my room playing play station at around 9:30 at night when I hear the paper delivery truck drop my bundle of papers outside of my house. Now normally I would take them in straight away but I was pretty into this game I was playing so I decided to wait 30 minutes before I took the papers inside.
After i finished my game I walked out the front door of my house to be greeted by very strong winds blowing up my street.
I didn't really think much of it until I went onto the street to pick my papers up. When I got there I found that my papers weren't in fact there, but it didn't remain a mystery for too long. I slowly looked up the road to find around 3000 pieces of news papers covering my whole street!!!
It looked like someone had paper mâché'd my whole fucking neighbourhood. Cars, bushes and backyards were all covered in papers and I was the one who had to clean this up. I ended up picking up papers throughout my street until around 1 o'clock in the morning and there were still around 700 papers left outside. Never leaving my papers our ever again!!! | left bundle of newspapers on my street, wind blew them all around my neighbourhood, ended up picking up newspapers in pitch black for 3 hours |
t3_49odvx | tifu | TIFU by attempting to book accomodation for college. | This happened not even an hour ago. Also not from the US so apologies if any of the phrasing is different or anything. And this is my first reddit post so feel free to correct any of my mistakes.
So a little backstory, I am in my final year of secondary school (high school I guess) so I need to book a place to stay for college as the place I want to study at is pretty far away. Campus accommodation booking opened today so I took the day off of school in order to have a chance to book in. Not sure if it is similar in other areas but when people try to book into the accommodation through the website, it is prone to crash pretty much instantly.
So after about an hour of refreshing over and over again, I am finally able to register on the website. Perfect, right? Well, I decided to go absolutely full stupid and got a little excited. So without reading the instructions to the e-mail, I rush back onto the site with the password I need to sign. I proceed to enter my username and the password. It doesn't work, but I just think of it as a mistake because of all the traffic being directed towards the site.
So,being impatient, I continue to put in the same details for the next hour until I realize the place is booked up completely. At this point, i decide to check my e-mail in case they sent me something. I then realize i shouldn't have been entering my e-mail to log in but a separate username that I had missed.
So now because of my own stupidity, I will have to spend a small fortune worth of gas money to get up and down to college..... the mother is not happy. | Spent hours entering the wrong details for college accomodation, will have to sell my left nut to pay for gas up and down. |
t3_2i1oui | relationships | I [25 M] have been seeing someone [24 F] for 2 months but have strong feelings for my friend [24 F] | I've known my friend for about four months now and when we first met, I was in a relationship at the time and she was in a really nasty ongoing breakup. My relationship would end a month later so we had this lull period where we were both single unfortunately she would leave for a month on for some tour so no chance for us to really get together during that time. While she was away, I was approached by an acquittance about going out. She was a nice person so I figured why not?
Well, two months later and I'm just not feeling it sadly. Really a great lady but it just does not have the chemistry my last two relationships had and unfortunately it's apparent she is a lot more into the relationship than I am and my friend herself has very recently started dating a guy.
I realize it was a mistake to date my current woman when I had an active interest in my friend and that maybe I should have just waited for her to come back but honestly, I've never seen any indication that she was ever interested in a romantic sense so maybe that just makes the whole thing moot. On the other hand, even though the woman I'm currently seeing seems to be enjoying it, I feel terrible for feeling this way in that it's unfair to both her and I.
To make it worse for myself, I've grown really accustomed to chatting with both of them on a near daily basis though I personally feel that it would be best to just cut contact with both of them. I don't know, am I just being a big manbaby about this? Will place this under personal issues since everyone seems to be doing just fine besides me. | Currently seeing someone but want to get with my friend. Feels like it's best to just escape from both of them. |
t3_2i8ikj | relationships | Just want some time with the guys (Without her)! | Background:
We have been dating for almost a year and a half. She[22F] is 2 years older than me[20M] and is graduated from college. She has a full time job M-F and I am still a student but currently completing a intership 5 hours away. We still see each other every weekend. We take turns driving each weekend.
I still have a lot of other friends (beside her) that i enjoy spending time with and don't want to lose my friendship with them. However, almost all of her friends have moved on out of the college town since they graduated. She wants to live and work there though (even if she wasn't dating me). She just likes living in a college town.
My current internship started in June and goes until January, so we are about half way through this struggling time period.
Current Issue:
I miss hanging out with all my guy friends. If i bring up that I want to just go spend time with my guys, she immediate response is "why do you not want to spend time with me?!". Then she goes through her routine and makes me feel guilty for wanting to hang out with my other friends once in awhile.
Usually, I encourage her to come with me to hang out with them, but sometimes I just want to be with the guys.
THAT'S the moment and idea that she doesn't like and gets all defensive about.
I mean half the time we do dumb stuff to worry about like play video games, watch sports, just sit around and shoot the shit. It's not like we are going to the strip club or going out meeting women. It's sitting around a house usually.
[ | ] What can I possibly say to her or what excuse can I use to just go hang out with the guys alone? It's just so frustrating! |
t3_3438ay | relationships | My [18/F] GF Burned my shirt [22 M]after I broke up with her. | If anyone of you want to bother to read my earlier post, go ahead, it's only if you want some background on the whole situation.
Anyways in short, when me and my ex were together we had alot of fights, not about really small things but us in general. The fights were pretty big, you could basicly cut the tension between us with a knife. Because of this and the fact that I didin't see a stop to this in the near future (we were 3 months in) I broke up with her. The arguments we had were really getting into my studies and started to disrupt everything.
I chose to break up with her over the phone because she lived an hour and a half away. She, understandably, was awfully hurt by this and I get that, there is really no easy way to break up with people.
A while later she texted me that she wanted her stuff back, and so did I. She had some shirts at at my place, and I had a shirt at hers.
We agreed to send it via mail because neither of us was really in the mood to meet up. I eventually sent her the stuff she had, and in return I got a letter. It was a burned piece of the shirt I had at her place. Obviously she wanted to send the message that she burned my shirt in a fire. This was paired with an aggresive letter by her, telling me how she loved me, that I was (and forever will be) an asshole. The list goes on.
I get that she's trying to cope with rejection. But how should I react to this? I just shrugged it off at the start but I'm not really sure how to go about with this. Should I just completely ignore that she burned my (fairly expensive) shirt and move on?
Any advice/light on the situation would greatly be appreciated. | My ex gf- burned my shirt and sent me an aggressive letter paired with the remainings of the shirt after I broke up with her- how should I react? |
t3_20y8yr | relationships | My[22F] GF told me she doesn't feel the same about me[24M] and now my anxiety/insecurity are killing me | My girlfriend of 2 years confronted me a couple of weeks ago about how her feelings for me aren't the same. Her parents were/are in a loveless marriage and she's always said how she could never be in something like that. We've been a great couple with almost no issues and this comes kind of out of left field and hurt a lot more than I thought it would. She said she wants to work on our relationship because she does want to stay with me which is good but the actual issue is my anxiety/insecurity that has stemmed because of it.
I am for the most part a very confident man and have never had insecurity issues but these last couple of weeks it almost feels like those same tender insecure feelings you get right after you've broken up with someone have cropped up.
I've found myself longing for her more, getting sad/angry when she doesn't call or text me, always want to check up on her, having bad dreams, feel like my heart beat is more elevated/stressed and she seems a little more distant to me but it's really hard to tell because of the muddled state my mind is in. Its just really annoying because up to this point she has shown me that she wants to work on us, I mean she could've just broken up with me.
I think I'm almost mini traumatized that I'll lose her that I'm almost acting like I already have. It doesn't help that we are in a long distance relationship (I live 1.5 hours away and visit on weekends)
I want to get rid of these feelings because first of all they are illogical but more than that they are potentially damaging to the recovery of my relationship. I've had to literally battle my emotional side with my logical side. There are times when I want to lash out at her because maybe she didn't text me all day and its just so stupid, luckily I've kept myself in check. I just want to be the relaxed carefree me that I was in order to have the best chances of recovering my relationship. Any suggestions? | After telling me she doesn't feel the same about me I've gotten insecure and want to go back to my carefree self. Please help |
t3_2p4gwl | relationships | Me [15] My GF [F 15] Going out for 3 weeks. Tried to break up with me because we weren't acting like couples | She texted me a long message an hour ago saying that she wanted to break up with me because we weren't acting like couples and we were still acting like friends. She also said I act like I don't like her and I don't talk to her too much. I can kind of agree with her that we were still acting like friends though. I called her and told her that things will be different from now on and that I liked her alot and that I don't want a break up. She said that we won't break up and she believes that things will be different and that she wants to hang out. I agreed and I'm currently waiting for her friends and her to pick me up. Looking back, I feel so embarassed and humiliated for some reason. I didn't want to lose her because I like her alot but I felt like I'm in a lower position because I felt like she was testing me or something. When I called her, her friends picked up and they were talking to me because apparently she was eating. They told her everything I was telling them but none of them seem like they were taking it seriously. For some reason, I feel absolutely humiliated.
Did I do the right move or should I have let her go? I like her alot and didn't want to let her go. | GF of only three weeks wanted to break up. Called her and promised things would be different and she agreed to stay. Feel humiliated. |
t3_1ukfn0 | relationships | How do I (m/20) work out with my girlfriend (f/21) without making her feel embarrassed? | In her prime, my girlfriend was capable of wiping the floor with me at the gym. She's a former heptathlete and used to be into martial arts, has the lungs of a mongolian horse lord, and has been active her entire life.
Now? I can outlift her and she finds that mortifying.
We're trying to find a way to workout together this year, but the fact that I can out perform her keeps getting in the way. Given the fact that I have a bad shoulder and a bad knee (and bad asthma), I know that if she sticks at it she won't have a problem, but I've been struggling to find a way to get us there.
The go-to advice will probably be to work out separately and let her reach milestones with her friends rather than with me - tried it, no dice. She's never worked out without a coach and doesn't feel comfortable in the gym alone - she's not learned how to motivate herself yet outside of a highly structured environment.
How can I get her rolling? | Girlfriend used to be fit, no longer is, and is now embarrassed to be weaker than her asthmatic boyfriend. |
t3_39unzr | relationships | I [20F] am having a hard time getting over my ex [21F] | She and I dated for about 1.5 years and I fell for her, madly and deeply. I like to think that she felt the same way. Some mistakes were made by both parties and we parted ways. Our separation was slow and painful and not by any choice of my own, but I accepted it.
For a very long time after I pined for her but eventually I moved on. I have been with many loving boyfriends since we split up it's been 3 years, but I can't get her out of my head. She is everything I ever wanted and everything I ever dreamed of. Anyways, I worked on myself, became a better person, and I started moved on.
My problem is she still texts me. It's never her telling me she wants me back but usually culminates in us both apologizing and then catching up on each other's lives and the conversation ends. She always texts me at the release of a show we mutually liked and whenever there is a new season she texts me. I never make the first contact with her, it's always her contacting me first. I can't figure out why when all I heard when we broke up is how much she hated me. | The girl of my dreams left me because we had both done hurtful things, still contacts me and it makes me unable to move on. Why does she still text me? How can I move on? |
t3_192715 | relationship_advice | [20/m] LDR with [19/f] who doesn't have time for us | I've been dating my girlfriend from across the country (she's on the west coast of the US, i'm on the east) for the last 3 1/2 months, and things have been going incredibly so far - I absolutely adore her, she feels the same about me, and in person we completely click on every level.
However, now that we're back apart (and will be apart until May due to her busy schedule) I'm finding that not only are our conversations less and less interesting or involving, they're becoming fewer in number, and I really don't get to talk with her much at all. Her schedule is incredibly busy, so it makes sense, but lately because she's been so preoccupied, it feels like things have gotten more and more platonic and disconnected - I haven't seen her face, even by video chat, since I visited her at the start of the month. We still text, but that's about it.
I've talked with her about this before, and she says she just withdraws when she's really busy and stressed out, and she doesn't even realize she's doing it a lot of the time. She promised to try and improve, but nothing's really changed except her telling me she loves me before bed.
I worry I'm being too demanding of her because of how much her schedule and future are weighing on her, but is this a real problem? I feel like she may not even have time for a relationship at the moment. I don't think either of us have changed at all, and I still love her just as much, but I'm not sure if this relationship should continue if she doesn't have the time. | Long-distance girlfriend is incredible, but super busy to the point that all we've done is intermittently text about idle chat for a few weeks. How should I approach this? |
t3_14hd4m | relationships | Should I [17m] attempt to reestablish some sort of basic human interaction with ex-girlfriend [17f] after about a month apart? | She broke up with me in a less than acceptable manner (if a relationship can even end acceptably) about a month ago and has since basically ignored my existence. It wasn't a very long relationship (only about three months). I didn't do anything to make her mad. We didn't have any arguments. She just decided that she couldn't handle a relationship at the time. I care about this girl as a person, and having someone I care for suddenly and completely cut me out of her life isn't fun at all. She refuses to make eye contact/even look at me some times, doesn't acknowledge my presence in random encounters, and avoids being around me in any social situation. I have told her that I understand her reasoning for ending the relationship and that I'm not upset by her breaking up with me. After telling me how much she and her family like me and that she doesn't want me to "disappear on her," she has continued to basically ignore me. I'm around this girl a lot both in and out of school so having her do this to me so often is really hard to deal with. Should I try to talk to her some more and tell her how I feel? Should I forget about her and just hang in until the school year is over? I don't know what to do right now, and this is pretty stressful. | Girl won't acknowledge my existence after ending a short relationship. She's a cool person, and I want to be able to talk to her. Should I try some more or just give up? |
t3_2t9n9j | relationships | Me [36 M] with a girl [28 F] have been texting and talking on the phone and had one date in person. She's socially active and I'm not. Will it work? | I've been emailing, texting, and talking to a girl I met online for about a month and we've been on one date. It all seems to be going well and our conversations seem to flow pretty nicely. When we talk, she tells me about her trips with friends, going out with friends or coworkers, doing planned activities with friends/coworkers, and it seems like she keeps her schedule pretty packed. I'm kind of the opposite. I don't have many friends, my schedule is usually pretty open, and I don't have many planned activities with friends. Would this type of relationship work if her and I were to progress?
It's not that I'm not open to hanging out with people, I actually would prefer it a lot of the time, but I'm not very good at reaching out to people to hang out and thus have lost touch with many people I used to talk to. I'm a little socially awkward, shy, and reserved, so it's not easy for me to make new friends.
Do you think she'd be bothered by this? Sorry if I left out any pertinent information. I can respond with any clarifications if it helps.
Thanks for any insight or help. | Girl I'm talking to is socially active and I'm not. Will this be a problem if the relationship were to progress? |
t3_2ly912 | relationship_advice | I [36/m] cheated on my girlfriend (27/f), how do I proof that she really is the one for me? | 7 weeks ago I kissed another girl. I told her last week. Waaaay too late. I know that. We said we'd be honest. I couldn't, I was afraid she'd leave me. I really love my girlfriend and don't want to lose her, but she says the trust and respect is gone. I understand that. But no matter what I say now, it's all bad, I can't do anything right in her eyes. How do I proof that i won't make the same mistake again? I told her when we started, that I cheated in my previous relationship, but that was a relationship of 12 years. We've been together only one. I can't seem to do anything right anymore, and I get that. But I'm lost about what to do now. I've made an oppointment with my therapist. I cut contact with the orther girl. I'm trying to do the decent thing. But I don't know what else to do to proof to her that I want her back, that I'm commited to us,... any advice is greatly appreciated. | I cheated on my girlfriend, her trust in me is gone, how do I get that back? I'm willing to do anything! |
t3_17en0b | relationships | I don't know what to do? [25] | We are both 25. I left the city where I live 3 years ago during the recession and vowed on my drive home that I'd come back and make the girl I cared about my girlfriend. Fast forward 3 years I found a job near where she works to make it possible to meet her again. Two weeks ago I got her number (again) and just asked her out via text. She hasn't responded to my date request but responded earlier saying she was happy I talked to her. I spent 4 years trying to become the guy who she'd go out with, kinda like gatsby style, any advice? I'm at the point I never thought I'd be 3 years ago but somehow I did it. I was homeless and slept in my car last winter usually going to sleep thinking about her. The last step I can't figure out. I hung out with this girl about a hundred times and called/texted her over 500 times in college and then I fucked up and she never
talked to me again, until I "found" her again via dedicating my life to getting a date with her. | I dedicated 3 years of my life trying to find a job in a city just to date this girl. Now I'm lost..... |
t3_3fyxrr | relationships | My [19F] ex wants to be friends with me [19M] what do I do? | I'll make it short, I dated my 3rd for 9 months and out of nowhere I thought I didn't want to be with her, tried to ride it out thinking it was just a phase which it was, I broke up with her and ended up realizing I made a bad decision. I tried to leave in good terms so i wouldn't hurt her because I still cared and loved her I just didn't have the passion to date her, now here I am 2 months later she has a boyfriend and I'm single, but she says she still wants to be friends because she misses how close she was to me. I pour my feelings out to her and explain to her it's hard for me because I still love her but she says well never be more than friends. Is she playing hard to get or is it over for good? | broke up with girlfriend of 9 months, she has a boyfriend now but wants to be friends because she misses me, I still love her, what do I do? |
t3_14xf0l | AskReddit | Reddit, what was your most reckless night of drinking ever? | I still remember mine. I was 20, and my friend's sister bought me a bottle of Grey Goose (since she was of age). We went back to her house, along with her brother. I took a few swigs of Grey Goose, thought I had made a good choice.....
....fast forward to 45 minutes later, I was...INSANELY DRUNK. And I looked over at the bottle and seeing I housed that bottle by myself in 45 minutes. I don't remember anything from that moment on. Some of the highlights my friends told me about the next day included me playing Goldeneye with my friends and running into walls just chopping with my hand, me throwing up and completely missing the toilet, and I started crying because I had some deep conversation about life with one of my friends. AT LEAST I woke up the next morning with no hangover... | drank a whole 2 liter bottle of Grey Goose in less than 45 minutes, played drunken Goldeneye, and cried like a bitch later on. |
t3_2qx7to | relationships | I (20m) am having issues and second thoughts about my current relationship with (19 f) | I posted up a while ago while things were bad with this same girl. I got a few answers, that I didn't necessarily agree with so I took my own route and decided to keep pushing on through a weird point in our relationship.
Here's the gist of the negatives with her. She is quite jealous at times, although we have talked numerous times about how I am able to be friends with whomever I want to she still is very threatened by other women talking to me. She is very dependent on me for entertainment and very rarely hangs out with any of her own friends (granted some of her friends have tested her VERY poorly and I can't blame her) and so relies on me to hang out with her. We have basically scheduled days in which we hang out so I can spread out my time with family and other friends.
The positives are many, I truly believe she has unconditional love for me, and I love her as well. She and I share many interests and hobbies and have enough that differs between us to keep it interesting (however a few of her ideologies annoy me sometimes) and we share a lot of time with one another doing many things. We have been dating for around a year and a half now.
Here comes the difficult part. I sing for a living, and while on a trip to philly I met this amazing girl. Nothing happened between us other than a lot of talk and a hug goodbye after the 3 weeks I spent there. I saw her and how she held herself in groups of people she did not know, I saw how she performed, and I saw how caring she could be during those 3 weeks. And right there I started to wonder if I was making the right choice.
My mind since that trip often goes back to the girl I met, sometimes resulting in her being in my dreams. I feel as though the current state of my relationship is causing that. Any advice would be great. Because I constantly question if I am happy in my current relationship knowing full well the girl that I met in philly may no reciprocate my feelings. | In a year and a half long relationship that is going ok, but not great even since the get go. met a girl on a trip whom I think about often, help please |
t3_2adtwk | relationships | Me [27 F] with my _husband__ [27 M] married for 3 years | My husband and I have been married for 3 years, two years ago we emigrated from the UK to Canada. I finished up my schooling and he has another 9 months left. I have been offered my dream job on the other side of Canada (Vancouver, we currently live in Ontario) and after discussing it with him, I have decided to accept and we will do long distance until he finishes school. Unfortunately finances are tight so regular visiting isn't on the cards.
Basically he is alone in Ontario, has few friends, no family here and I don't feel he copes well alone, mentally I mean. On top of that there is a high likelihood his grandfather (they are close) will pass away when I am gone, and hubby won't be able to go back to the UK for the funeral due to time/finances, and I won't be there to support him.
He's not one to talk about his feelings, I have said please talk to me anytime but I am worried he won't and will bottle it up and become depressed.
We have already spent several weeks apart during different stages of our relationship and one thing I notice is that he will be stressed or upset and becomes distant, which in turn upsets me so I withdraw and it's a vicious circle of us being assholes to each other and I do NOT want that happening this time so I am trying to be proactive and think before I have an emotional reaction to his distance.
Any advice/tips for long distance marriage? I have been trying to call/skype once a day, even to talk about mundane things. | It's going to be a long distance marriage for 9 months, his grandfather will probably die while we're apart, how do I support him and make this work. |
t3_2yf2yk | relationships | I've [17M] been dating [17F] for half a year. Almost closer to friends than dating. | So, I've been dating this girl for about half a year now, we see each other at school every day. She isn't much for physical contact, we've kissed a few times but that's about it. She is a very big studybug and is always doing work so at school I usually leave her to it and try not to bug her.
Whenever I'm talking to her, it seems as though she's not very interested in what I'm saying (I'm a horrible judge of peoples thoughts though), but when we're together with other people, like my best friend, she seems to be a lot more engaged in the conversations and laughs more.(Also, we used to text every day, and now I'm lucky if she responds)
Even after all of this, she says she still has feelings for me. I don't know where to go from here. | Girlfriend of 6 months, not much physical contact, seems to enjoy my company less than others, talk less than we used to. |
t3_2f3kbu | askwomenadvice | Met this girl online, need some advice. | I'm a 22M and I met a 19F through an online dating site. We have been talking and texting and met up one time. She's attending school at the moment in UC San Diego, but her home is in San Francisco and she's not coming back till another ten week once her fall semester starts. Me on the other hand am moving away from San Francisco to work in San Jose and will frequently come back home to San Francisco on my days off if necessary.
However, we are going to see each other sometimes before the summer is over for the both of us. In turns, she informed me that she will probably never hear from me nor I will hear back from her again. I guess from long distance reasons.
I don't want to lose all my hopes for this gal yet because she knows what she wants in her future and I want to get to know her more. At the same time I feel like I should leave and not waste anymore time with this person.
I know this is too fast and we're both going separate ways, what would you ladies do if this you were wearing her shoes? | ! Met this girl online, we're both going away for school and work reasons. Male wants to see if there's something more. Asking advice to whether leave her alone or pursue. |
t3_2qvi6m | legaladvice | [California] Bank didn't notify me of DMV registration and now wants me to pay late fees | I just purchased a used car and financed through the bank. They are holding the title and haven't added me to the paperwork yet because they say they are still transferring paperwork from FL (where the last owner had it registered). It has been 7 months and they say there is still a delay.
I went down to pay the DMV registration the other day because I noticed that it was expired. I never received a notice. They wouldn't let me pay it because they said I wasn't listed as an owner. The only listed owner is the bank. I asked why I didn't receive a notice in the mail and they said it was mailed to the bank.
I called the bank and told them the registration was expired and that I wanted to pay it. They called me back and said it was $450 - $350 for the registration and $100 for the late fee. They would not agree to waive the late fee.
So, | bank received notice of registration and didn't notify me. Am I responsible for the late fees caused by their failure to forward the DMV notice? Don't they have a duty to pass on that info in a timely manner? |
t3_364lzj | relationships | Me [23F] with my (originally, blind date) [25M] I'm new to online dating, and not sure when "things" should be discussed. | I met a guy online about a month ago. We've seen each other twice so far, and have plans to see each other again in a few days. I like his company, and he seems to be cool with mine. Haven't hooked up at all, but have kissed.
Things are going great, I think. But, he doesn't really contact me in between our dates, which I think is kind of weird. Or am I being clingy?
As I'm new to online dating, I'd love to get some opinions/stories on when it is considered acceptable to ask whether or not the other person is seeing other people/what they are looking for, long term or short term. | New to online dating. Curious about how to go about establishing the proper relationship boundaries. Basically, how do I know if this guy is just very patiently waiting for sex, or actually considers me girlfriend material? |
t3_e4wrh | AskReddit | Selling a guitar online and don't want to use Paypal unless I have to. Suggestions? | I posted an ad on Craigslist awhile back about a guitar that I'm unloading, it's been posted a few times because it's an expensive, niche type of guitar that probably wouldn't appeal to most people for the price, but I remained firm on the price and avoided low ballers. Anyway, a really nice guy from Florida (I'm from the PNW) and I have been exchanging emails. He's obviously not a Nigerian scammer, he gave me his home and cell phone number, offered to let me choose the method of payment etc, so I don't really think he's going to scam me, but I just want to find the best possible way to get my money quickly and efficiently (thus my reasons for not wanting to use Paypal) while still being safe about it.
Sorry if this is a question with a really simple answer, I've just only used Paypal or sold locally for this sort of thing. Have any of you guys done this before? Do you think my bank would let him wire money to my account? He offered me his credit card # and my family runs a business so I could technically run it as a sale myself (his suggestion) but he could also dispute the charge later and screw me out of the money. Any ideas? | I want to sell a guitar I own to someone and would prefer not to use Paypal, but want to make sure I don't get ripped off. |
t3_46of61 | personalfinance | My (25F) Boyfriend's (27M) Mother (58F) is trying to claim him as a Dependent | My boyfriend notified me that his mother wants to claim him as a dependent. He is 27 years old, worked for more than half the year, and lives with his mother. I do as well. She didn't support him (I did), and only let him off by not charging him rent. Her mortgage payment is only $800. I pay $450 (for the back room we share) and his sister pays $450. I pay for our supplies, toiletries, food, and the internet bill. Now, the issue is he already filed his taxes as an independent, as he rightly should have. My question is, what will happen if she tries to claim him? Apparently she spoke to her tax representative and he advised he just needs his birth certifcate. Will this come back on him in the end, or his mother? He told her not to do it, but she is continuing with it anyway. | Boyfriend's mother is trying to claim him as a dependent after he already filed as an independent. Boyfriend is 27 and supported himself for over half the year. What will happen? |
t3_2ykozl | tifu | TIFU by screaming obscenities at a group of visiting students and their parents | I got back from my last class of the day about an hour ago, and ever since, I've been crashed on my couch, watching TV under a blanket and eating those mini pancakes you get in an 8-pack at Tesco.
About 20 minutes into the show, I happened to glance out the front window, directly across from my couch, and my eyes wandered to the house across the street. To my surprise, some guy in a green t shirt was sitting with his arms crossed, in the upstairs window, watching me. I jumped a little, but figured he was just looking up from a book or something. Fast forward 2-3 more minutes, and he's still watching. Grinning, arms crossed all jauntily. I shifted a bit uncomfortably on the couch, because I was essentially stuffing my face with processed bread product and probably had about 8 chins at the time, and tried to focus on my show.
Every time I looked out the window for the next few minutes, he was still there, just staring! I started to get really annoyed. Who was this guy to be looking in my window? Fuming, I sat still for another 30 seconds, and then decided I'd had it. I threw off the blanket, stomped over to the window, threw it open, and shouted out, "Could you please just mind your own business and fuck off?!"
Right as a big group of prospective students and their parents, in the middle of a tour, walked by my house. Cue horrified stares, open mouths, etc. I turned bright red, but figured I'd just point out my creepy stalker and alleviate the awkwardness. It was at this precise moment that I realized the truth: the occupants of the house across the way had left out a large cardboard desk chair box, with a smiling college student, arms crossed, emblazoned on the side. | Thought I was being spied on while stuffing my face, accidentally scandalized a bunch of unsuspecting WASPs and their young. |
t3_vpycl | relationships | Not sure if I'm as into my relationship as I was... | Me: 21/m
Her: 21/f
Length of relationship: 6 months
Recently finished college, was a lot of stress, but it's sorted now. Just signed on to jobseekers allowance (unemployed) which was a big downer as anyone who's been on it before knows how soul destroying it is to be on it. No income though so it's the only way to go until I get a job.
Not sure if it's the fact I have nothing to do with my time but lately it feels like I've been getting fed up with my relationship. I really do like her and until around a month ago everything was fine, but lately I haven't been enjoying our time together as much. I really do want to still be in a relationship with her because I've never been happier in a relationship with someone until recently. Could just be stress?
I don't know how I could just one day go from enjoying spending time with her to not at all, but it kills me that things haven't been the same for me and I want things to work.
Going to state at this point that I don't have feelings for anyone else, so it's not a case of distraction. | Not been enjoying relationship lately, want things to work, jimmys rustled. Can any of you wise owls offer any advise for me? |
t3_gi9hn | AskReddit | DAE want to live on a floating city on the ocean? Find out who is making that dream a reality. | **[Innovation on the Ocean](
What does it take to get 1,000 floating countries to set sail upon the oceans of planet earth? The Seasteading Institute (TSI) wants to foster such platforms of innovation to apply the same entrepreneurial spirit of high tech to the high seas. This episode of the [Steppin' off the Edge] podcast, [Innovation on the Ocean] features an interview with the director of business strategy for TSI, Max Marty. He steps off the edge with me and to cover a wide range of ocean living logistical issues including where could seasteads operate, how to foster a community of them, pirates, viable business models for floating cities, and where to draw the line between self-sufficiency and specialization. With the impact of humanities' industrial scale lifestyle showing damage to planetary symptoms that only the most devout skeptic can continue to ignore, the climate change scales could soon tip so heavily that living on the high seas of this planet would become not a luxury but a necessity. Enjoy this episode to find out what sorts of innovation on the ocean are on the horizon! | [A podcast with interview] about what work is being done today to help create sustainable floating cities to live / work in tomorrow. |
t3_2six9j | tifu | TIFU by losing my apartment keys | So last night, I was over at a friend's place pretty late (He has Netflix and food. Why WOULD'NT I be there late?), and decided I should get home soon. Around 12am, some of my other friends who were around offer to drive me home. I get out of the car, say goodnight, walk up to my porch to unlock the door to my apartment, and reach for my keys. Here's where everything goes wrong. I'm rummaging through my backpack trying to find my keys, standing in the freezing cold, and eventually give up trying to find them. Luckily, my roommate was there and unlocked the door for me. But wait! My bedroom door is also locked! And where is the key? With my apartment key, of course! I panic for a few minutes and call everyone whose place I'd sat down in today, but none of them had my key. I gave in and called the courtesy officer to come let me in. I won't go into detail about how the lady on the phone gave me a hard time. She says it'll cost $25 for him to come out and open the door. I'm desperate and say yes. In the time it takes for him to get there, I search through my backpack over and over with no luck. It's at this point I wished I'd just put them in my purse like always. In a deep and never used pocket of my backpack, look what's there: it's my keys! The officer shows up literally 2 minutes later, and I tell him that I found my keys. He looked annoyed and left. | I thought I lost my apartment key, called everyone I'd seen that day to see if they had it. I eventually call the courtesy officer to let me in, but find it literally moments before he pulls up. |
t3_du7nj | AskReddit | I work 12+ hours 5-6 days a week, with no overtime pay, is this normal? | Hey Reddit,
So, with your help, I scored the biggest job of a lifetime. A great management job at a high-end shipping terminal on the California Coast. Five months in, I feel I'm being ran into the ground.
For the past month and a half now I have been working 12+ hour days without fail, often 5-6 days a week, sometimes I've even worked 14 days straight, no overtime, no bonus, no nothing.
I work a salary position, so I get paid for 80 hours every two weeks. I'm exhausted, and I have almost no social life. I rarely see friends, when I do it's great... but it's just not long enough.
Question is, Reddit, is this normal? I just graduated college, so I don't know how the real world works. Do people in $50-60K/yr jobs just work this much? I keep telling myself that if I stick with it, I'll be able to work my way up... but the issue is I see my boss work the same if not more hours than me.
I'm just afraid this industry is not for me, but I really don't want to give up the chance of my lifetime.
I know I'm lucky to have a job, I know it's selfish for me to be a 22 year old complaining that I'm working *too* much, but I have no idea what to do. I'm afraid to talk to my boss, I'm afraid to say anything because I don't want to sound like I can't cut it. | I work a lot, I feel like I can't take it sometimes. Is this normal, or should I quit? |
t3_ehrdn | AskReddit | Would you put your kids in a Christian Day Care if it was significantly cheaper than a non-religious day care? | I recently moved to city that has a variety of day care options for my kids. My wife and I are atheists, though we allow others to believe what they want to believe. We even go to Jesus's gym, the YMCA, though we joined at first without realizing the Christian connection. (It has been a completely non-religious experience btw)
We are now faced with a moral dilemma and have few non-religious friends to turn to for advice. So, this is where you come in Reddit. Right now I am the primary bread-winner for my household but we would like to change that, either through having my wife find full or part time employment or for her to go back to school and finish her degree. This isn't really for monetary reasons, as we make plenty to live fairly comfortably on with just my income, but to give my wife something more to do with her mind and talents. (Raising kids is certainly fulfilling, but it just isn't everything she needs.) We are trying to find a place to take our kids (girls, aged 3 and 1.5) that we can afford. The problem is, in our budget, the only really affordable places are the Christ centered "Mother's Day Out" programs. They tend to be vastly less expensive than their non-religious counterparts. From what we can gather though, our kids getting lessons about Jesus at these programs is pretty much unavoidable.
So, WWRD? Do you go the economical route and let your kids learn a bit about Jesus from people that don't consider it one of many options or do you hold to your principles and just wait until you can afford the more expensive day care? | If you were an Atheist, would you put your kids in a Christian day care if it was significantly cheaper than a non-religious day care? |
t3_3jy11o | dating_advice | Me [25M] had a first date with her[23F]. I had a lot of fun, however she lives 7 hours away. How should I proceed? | Basically I matched with this girl on a dating app 2 months ago. She lives in LA, and I live in SF. She comes back to SF once in a while because that's where her family lives. She's just in LA for work, but plans to eventually get a job in the SF area.
But anyway we've been talking for two months and we finally met up in SF because she visited for labor day weekend and the date went great! She's very very socially awkward which was interesting. I however find it extremely cute since I'm also awkward and we actually meshed together really well! I was surprised. We both grew comfortable during the date and had a nice time. Had a nice Mediterranean dinner and then randomly decided to go goof off in home depot haha.
My issue is though that I want to keep talking to her and eventually keep seeing her when she visits. Is this feasible? Can this work if we connect enough? How should I proceed to talk to her about this? She told me she won't be visiting until October now which is a long time. I see potential with her which is kind of rare for me. Any help would be great. I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but then again I actually like her so far and want to see where this goes. | Had a great date but she lives so far away. Can this work out and if so how can I go about making this work? |
t3_3uflpp | relationships | I [26M] said something I shouldn't have to my wife [24F] during an argument. How do I make it up to her? | For thanksgiving, my wife "Tess" and I went over to my parents' house for the family dinner. Now at the dinner, my sister "Maddie" would be attending too. I don't get to see Maddie too often anymore so I was really glad to hear that. Tess, on the other hand, wasn't. In the past, Maddie and Tess have never really gotten along and often end up in some sort of argument one way or another, so when I had asked Tess that when she sees Maddie, if she could just try to get along with her instead of arguing and Tess just got upset, thinking that I was accusing her as being the cause. I told her that I wasn't and we eventually got past it and went to my parents' house.
So once we're at their house, everything's going smoothly and the dinner's going fine. While I was helping my mom out with the food, Maddie and Tess start bickering over politics and eventually, both of their voices keep getting louder and louder to where my brother had to go and pull me from the kitchen to tell me. So at that point, I pull Tess to the side and I'm already upset that she's making a scene and she's mad that I'm "siding with Maddie". I wasn't though, as I had my brother go talk to Maddie instead. We continued to argue and I became really frustrated with her and said that of course she wouldn't understand family get-togethers. What I said was a really low blow because Tess's family was emotional negligent and so that really upset her and for the rest of the time, she wouldn't talk to me or very much to anyone else either.
Now we're home and she has refused to talk to me otherwise. I know I really messed up and I feel horrible for saying that! Is there any way I can fix this? | I insulted my wife during an argument in an absolutely terrible way and regret all of it. How do I fix this? |
t3_12o9jw | AskReddit | My university has scheduled class for the day following Remembrance Day (Nov 12), despite it being recognized as the public holiday. How can we make it happen? | My university, located in a province that recognizes Remembrance Day as a public statutory holiday, has not cancelled classes for the following day (where the stat falls on a Sunday, the holiday is observed on the following Monday). This is not only outrageous as this is a commemorative day in place to recall and respect the men and women who died, and served in order so that we may call this free land home, but also because this day has been observed for NEARLY 100 YEARS. They can't have forgotten, especially since every other university in the province has closed their doors for that day. | my school is open for class on a day following a very important public stat holiday. I want to know how I can fix this. |
t3_kh9kj | AskReddit | Reddit, is it possible to live on just over $500/month? | Let me start with the fact that I have no housing payment. I exchange babysitting for free rent.
However, I've recently started school and did not get a Pell Grant because I made too much last year. I am taking 16 credits, so I dropped down to 20 hours a week. I could feasibly have a little more money, but I would have to stop the stock deductions from my pay - which I would very much like to continue.
Anyway, after all my deductions, my paychecks are going to be about $270. $120 of that goes to my car insurance (I have a 2011 car with no debt, so don't want to risk it), $70 goes to my cell phone, and an additional $100 goes to my credit cards (I've locked them in my safe deposit box and am slowly paying them down).
Anyway, after bills, I will have about $100-$180 leftover on every paycheck that I need to somehow put towards food, cigarettes, and gas. Is it feasible to stretch this little money so far? And how can I do it?
( | ) I have about $100 leftover from every biweekly paycheck after bills. Am I going to be able to survive? |
t3_19f3gr | relationship_advice | He [23/M] asked me [19/F] over to his place for dinner? | Yesterday I was stressed out over a test that I had today (already taken, went well thank god!) and was texting my friend about how nervous/worried I was. Somewhere among my worried texts, he asked if I wanted to come over Friday for a relaxing dinner that he'll cook (he honestly is a good cook). I accepted without really thinking it through.
Now I have thought it through. Let me give you some background details - I met him a couple weeks ago. My boyfriend and I broke up 6 days ago. This new guy is aware, and we hung out Tuesday to get my mind off things. He came back to my place to watch a movie and we made out, no big deal. But after he left, I realized it was pretty obvious he was hoping for more. And I don't think I am ready to suddenly jump into something after I just got out of a pretty serious relationship that ended terribly.
Everyone seems to think that having someone over for dinner implies there will be sex, and I can agree that he may try to go for that. I don't think I'm ready to move on (as I know I'll just think about my ex while it happens and that will never end well) but he's a great guy to be around and makes me feel like there are better people out there than my ex. But again, not ready to jump into something.
He's calling me later this afternoon to talk about the plans. Should I tell him something came up and cancel? Or...not sure what else, any advice is appreciated! | Friend I met a few weeks ago asked me to dinner at his place, possibly expecting sex, but I just broke up with my bf and not ready to jump into something like that. Cancel/explain to him/...? |
t3_zu2em | AskReddit | What would you like to see in a review website? | Hey there Reddit,
I'll cut to the chase: I am going to start an aggregate review website. I've looked at sites like metacritic and others, and while I really like them as a hardcore gamer, I can easily see why someone who isn't a hardcore gamer/movie enthusiast/'x' enthusiast is scared off by all the menus and various options. What I'm trying to say is that wilst they do their job, their not very user friendly or pleasing to the eye.
What I plan on doing is building an aggregate review website based entirely on the users. A very clean, simple user interface and either a 5 star rating system or just a thumbs up/thumb down system. I want to make it approachable to everyone so that everyone can quickly locate games/music/movies that they'll enjoy.
A few ideas:
* System where you search a game title and you'll get say 5-10 games back which are matched on genre, score and other attributes.
* Some sort of tickbox menu where you can pick say 'RPGs', 'Above 80%', 'Released in the last year' and have a nice list given to you.
* If it takes off, I'll look into adding everything to the database, not just media. I'm talking reviews for fridges, dishwashers, TVs, phones, you name it...everything.
If anyone has any suggestions/opinions on the idea please post. I'm really looking to see what the community want on this one and will try and implement all popular ideas. | Building an aggregate review website like Metacritic. It will be approachable, clean and simple. Please post your suggestions. |
t3_ud4x6 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is something you thought you would never win, but were pleasantly surprised to find out you actually did win? | My story. In high school mountain dew was doing a promotion to win an xbox 360 every ten minutes for a few weeks. Naturally, there were kids in my school who would dumpster dive for mountain dew caps in order to get as many codes as possible for a better chance of winning. Rumor was going around the school that one kid in particular had collected 600 caps, which was the maximum you were allowed to enter. My friends and I were joking at our table about how even though he had all of those caps, he probably still wouldn't win. Jokingly I said to my friends; "ten bucks says I enter this one cap and win". So when I got home that day I entered, gave the website a fake email and didn't really bother with the my personal information other than name and address. A month or so go by and I basically forgot about the whole thing until one day when I come home and see a big brown box on the porch, to my surprise, because I have never gotten a package before, it had my name on it. I opened it up and started to read a letter congratulating me on winning the every ten minutes promotion. They also included five t-shirts and hats, and amp energy drinks. The kicker: the kid who had collected 600 caps didn't win.. | I jokingly entered a contest to win an xbox 360, and to my surprise found a care package on my porch one day congratulating me on winning |
t3_1hxs0n | relationships | My mother [63] has an insanely jealous with my relationship with my dad [60]. They are married and we live in the same house, and I [26/F] have no freedom to talk to him without her spy on us. | My mother has some mental issues, such as depression and is extremely childish.
My father knows about her social/mental difficulties and the problem is that he doesn't do anything to help her grow up: he just do everything she wants. In other words, she became a "spoiled" mother.
My bigger problem with her is that she is constantly spying on me when I go talk with my dad.
It's insane: when she is watching TV and I am on the kitchen with my dad, I start to talk to him and she immediately turns the sound of the TV off just to hear our conversation.
As long as our conversation ends, she turns on the TV sound again.
This confuses me a lot, and when I try to speak with her about it, she never admits it and gets very angry about me questioning her behavior.
My father knows that she doesn't like when we are alone talking or just on the same room without her.
The result is that he is always distant and we NEVER got a normal father-daughter relationship.
He is always cold and distant, because he knows this is the best for their marriage.
Unnecessary to say that this hurts me a lot.
This is just one of the many, many situations I am constantly passing with my mother spying on us.
I just want to clarify that as my mother, I love and respect her very much, but I am very sad about all this situation.
I wish I could help her out, but ANYTHING I say to her, she takes as criticism and get very angry and upset (thanks to her childish and proud behavior).
This is starting to really freak me out, and I would like to have some help from you, please. | Mother is always spying on daughter and father conversations due to her insanely jealous, and never admits it. When daughter tries to help her out, she became furious and always ends up in a fight. |
t3_1k28jp | relationships | Girlfriend thinks I'm boring | So I've been with this girl for 2 years (both 18) and in my mind everything was absolutely fine, however she has just recently said now that she thinks I'm boring and 'same-old' she said that she's got used to all of my quirks, nothing I do or say surprises her anymore and all of that.
When we're with other friends or i a group or whatever i think I'm quite fun to be around and from what i understamd everyone else seems to agree, i guess she just doesnt think so when We're together.
I'm seeing her tomorrow and I was wondering if this is the end and we should just break up? Or is there some way of trying to sort this out? | Girlfriend thinks I'm boring after 2 years. I don't think I am, especially when we're with friends, what do I do? |
t3_2chwh7 | relationships | Me [21F] cheated on boyfriend [21M] while black out drunk. I get glimpses. I don't know who to talk to. | In my head I've given my boyfriend another 2 months as I'm not happy and he deserves the chance to turn it around (though haven't told him this, but have told him I'm unhappy).
Then last night I went to a friend's birthday, drinks were flowing, there wasn't a point where a drink wasn't in my hand (his mum was making cocktails for hours). I got much much drunker than intended, probably the drunkest I've ever been.
I have glimpses of what I did. I had sex with someone (I think, it's only flashes) and I don't know how I got home, I've woken up with lovebites on my neck and have an idea of how they got there (the guy) but no recollection.
This is the first time something like this has ever happened, I have never cheated before, I feel sick.
I don't even know what advice I want. I just needed to tell someone. | Got blackout drunk. Had sex (I think, only flashes of memory) with someone else, never done this before. What do I do? |
t3_4ts2c1 | relationships | I [27F] think I'm depressed, I just don't want to go out with my bf [26M] of 10 years more than once a week | Hi, I don't know what's happening to me, and I need help.
I've been in the same relationship for 10 years, neither me nor my BF have been with others before. A lot of stuff has been happening on and off during that time, including him breaking up with me 3 times but never actually becoming exes, he said "we are just sex friends for now" and we would continue to meet.
The third/last breakup was soon after he had asked me to marry him. We were living together with our son, but he just broke the engagement and took off, though he regretted doing so shortly after and then wanted to marry me again, but I just couldn't. I was feeling awful and worthless from going through that for the third time, and I almost did something that nags me from the back of my mind all the time.
We're not living together at the moment, and he wants to spend time with me, which I like, but somehow I can't get myself to want to see him more than once a week. I keep trying, but I just can't make myself go out. I'm not sure if it's just about us or if it's me, because I don't want to go out with any friends either when they talk about hanging out.
He noticed I didn't want to meet any more often, and he said it's probably that I don't love him anymore but I'm pushing myself to do so. I've explained to him that I just want to stay home alone with our kid and I just don't want to see anyone else or my friends either.
I think perhaps I'm just protecting myself from the pain of another possible breakup or divorce, but I don't really know what to think, as I don't want to see anyone at all and I'm confused and tired.
Any advice would be appreciated, I'll also try to answer any questions as soon as I notice them. | BF/fiance breaks up 3 times and breaks the engagement, we're seeing each other again but I can't get myself to want to see anyone or to see him more than once a week. |
t3_4nzfnh | relationships | Boyfriend (22M) tells me that I (20F) am making him feel insecure. What can I do? | Background: Me and my boyfriend have known each other for 8 years, and have been together, in an open relationship for two of those years. This has worked well for us, but in recent time, I've felt like he's been needlessly clingy and jealous (not of sexual partners, but more a fear of mutual friends being romantically interested - specifically my best friend who recently moved back into the country after a promotion), and when I brought it up he told me that I'm making him feel insecure and that he's overcompensating because of it.
I'm currently in university studying to become a doctor of medicine, spend my weekends helping the homeless, and have traveled the globe for the better part (2 months, not consecutivley) of this year with friends.
He's dropped out of high-school a couple of years back and have been unemployed since then, due to some drug-charges making it hard to find work. This means that he has a lot of time on his hands, while I do not, and he told me that the fact that I am constantly busy is making him feel unappreciated, and serves as a constant reminder that he lacks direction in life, furthering his insecurities and is making him clingier.
Further, he's told me that his height (5"5) and weight (120 pounds) are factors that make him feel like he's undeservant of me, an objectivley quite attractive girl, and that the fact that he thinks I can do better is making him jealous and even more insecure. To be fair, although I've never stated it, this is something that has also impacted our sex-life, as it does make me feel less attracted to him, but I hoped it wasn't noticeable.
(We have sex around 3 times a week, although I'm never super-excited about it)
So, what can I do to make him feel less insecure? And is there anything I can do to maybe make me feel more attracted to him, so the physical aspect (which might be my fault) stops being a problem? | Boyfriend says I'm making him feel insecure, physically and in relation to work/school, and it's making him jealous / clingy. What can I do? |
t3_xt8c5 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is one (true) story you have, that is completely and utterly unbelievable? | It's from my dad, but here goes:
My dad and his friend from work are huge metalheads. Friend gets tickets to go see Iron Maiden a few towns over in a few weeks, and asks some other friends to go with him. A few days before the concert, however, one of the girls (maybe the guys gf, idk its irrelevant) backs out two days before the show. The guy, knowing my dad is into metal, invites him to go. My dad is super, super excited. But, the next day, the girls friend, who was also going, convinced her to go, so my dad was out of the concert again. No hard feeling though, right? Almost.
Three days later, the guy came back to work. When he saw my dad, he had the biggest grin on his face, and seemed to almost be out of breath with out eager he was to share something. So my dad, being the nice guy he is, asks him "how was the show?"
"You're never gonna believe this," friend says, and remember, the concert was a few towns over, and the guy and his friends were tired so they went to the shittiest, sleaziest, cheapest motel they could find.
"But the other night, after the show we went to this shitty motel to crash for the night. But the next morning when we went out to the car, there was this big-ass bus in the parking lot. We went to see what was going on, and it turned out MAIDEN was staying at that motel! They came out, met us, even went to Denny's for breakfast with us! Dude it was the most amazing thing ever! Here, I have a picture with Bruce (Dickinson)."
And sure enough, right there in my dad's hands, was a picture of his friend, his friend's friends, and Bruce fucking Dickinson. To this day, almost 30 years later, my dad still hasn't seen Maiden in concert. | Dad's friend invites him to see maiden after girl backs out. Girl enters back in, gang crashes at motel, maiden does too. Dickinson's are met, father's dreams are crushed. |
t3_2zd2fz | relationships | I [20F] resent my [20 M] boyfriend's success | Without going into too much detail, my boyfriend and I have been together about 2 years. We go to the same university. Due to depression/ eating disorder and also generally not being able to learn well in a college environment, I didn't do great here during the first 2 years. I'm doing fine now but I'm still bitter about it.
Meanwhile boyfriend has always gotten straight As and done perfectly great, especially for his major. He landed an extremely high-paying internship for the summer. I will be in my off-campus house working as many hours at whatever job I can get.
For whatever reason I absolutely resent his success and it makes me angry to think about how much money he will be making. I know it isn't rational at all and he earned it, and I should be happy for him. But I'm not. Probably because I grew up really poor and because this is a huge hit to my self-esteem. I know he doesn't actually need the money at all either. I'm frustrated enough by it that I almost want to dump him even though we have a nearly perfect relationship otherwise. I understand I'm a huge bitch and terrible person for this, but I can't stop feeling anger and resentment and bitterness.
I also know this will basically be the same deal after college. He will probably start out making about 100k a year and I will basically be homeless. You'd think I would want to stick around, but all I can think is "Fuck you and your fucking stupid money."
How do I stop feeling this way? | Boyfriend got high-paying internship for summer. I am poor and irrationally angry about it. How do I stop feeling like this? |
t3_3utzta | tifu | TIFU by showing someone a cat video. | The FU happened a couple weeks ago, but I have yet to face the consequences of it.
Backstory: My SO and I have been together for years. Since the "honeymoon period" ended, we sometimes add a little novelty to the bedroom in order to spice things back up if they start to go kind of stale. One drunken night, I decide to create a Tinder profile, looking for someone who would like to spend the night with us sometime. My SO approves of this idea.
The Fuck-Up: A couple days later, we're at a family party. My mother is next to me, and I open my gallery to show her a funny cat video I had taken earlier that day. The video ends, we're both still looking at my phone, and I get a notification. It's Tinder. "You have a match!" Shit. I hurriedly swipe it away, but I know that since I saw it, my mother had no trouble seeing it as well. I know that she would recognize the dating app. She doesn't say anything. I don't say anything. We're both pretending it was never there, and I explain nothing.
This will not last for long. I know my mom. She will not ignore this.
Cut to Thanksgiving. My mother makes a few implications throughout the night that she and I need to spend some time alone together soon, to talk about things. I have avoided being in a room alone with her the few times I've seen her since.
From her perspective, Reddit, I am obviously cheating. Either I can continue to let her think that of me, or I can reveal to her my sexual depravity. She grew up religious, and is scandalized by the idea of *pornography*, much less the thought of her baby having a *threesome*. We both have yet to bring it up, but I know it's coming, and I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. | Mom thinks I'm a cheater. I have yet to tell her that it's just an innocent menage-a-trois. |
t3_3hocwi | loseit | I feel like I'm getting an eating disorder | I was doing pretty good at keeping in the 2000-2500 range for calories, dipped below that for a couple weeks and felt pretty bad during my workouts, but the past couple weeks I haven't even really been comfortable above 2000. I know I can, but I have no real desire to, like I don't get hungry.
To go along with this, my 10 lb a month average has increased that I've lost about 60 in a little under 5 and a half months. Started at 267, lowest weigh in was 207 yesterday. And I do a lot of lifting so generally my caloric needs would be higher than most people.
I guess what I'm saying is, I'm nervous that I won't be able to eat like I should when I finally get to my goal weight. Am I blowing this out of proportion? My TDEE is estimated on IIFYM to be around 3400ish right now, so to start bulking again I'd need even more than that. Today I had a bowl of cereal and ~a pound of ground beef and then felt a little unpleasant drinking a protein shake to get my calories up. | I'm afraid I won't be able to eat normally once I hit my goal weight. In particular for lifting. Anyone make it to the other side and have experience with this? |
t3_4f49h6 | self | I bought a new vehicle and it's been in the shop for two weeks now. How can I proceed? | I bought a 2016 Jeep Wrangler on 4/2. On 4/3, a guy hit me, causing me to be out of my vehicle for now two weeks. I took it to the dealer for them to fix it because I was scared I was going to void the warranty if I took it anywhere else, and I wanted it fixed right. I don't trust any of the mechanics in my area due to bad experiences so they were not an option.
The work that I needed done was going to be way more than $6000, so I decided to let my insurance take care of it. Now, comes the part with my dealer. They have had it for a week, and since day one, they had all of the information of what to parts to buy based on the estimate from my insurance, and their own analysis. I called right after that to see what the progress was and they said "oh the parts are on their way."
That made sense. I called two days later, and they said that they had almost all of the parts but the differential, and they were still waiting for that. The service guy said he did not know the exact date it would be coming in, but he could get back to me. He never did. I called again yesterday and now they tell me that they cant find the differential anywhere since my jeep is still so brand new.
They said they can possibly never find it. I have a payment on my vehicle coming up soon, but I don't feel like it is fair for me to pay for a car that I had for only 24 hours and is not even being fixed. | Bought a brand new Jeep. Got in an accident day after. They can't find one of the parts I need anywhere. I need advice on what to do next. |
t3_3o576u | relationship_advice | Did I do something wrong? | So my girlfriend has a bunch of mugs at her house and one day we started talking about how everyone in her household has a personal mug and how I was going to get one for myself one day.
Every so often whenever we would shop together I'd look for a mug, here's where the drama begins, she knew I was looking for a mug and so she got me one, she texted me about it and I responded "noooo, what if it's ugly!:(" now when I look back at it, it did seem really mean to say something like that but I wasn't really serious and I hadn't even seen the mug yet, so I told her that (still haven't seen it) and she was mad at me for making that comment about her mug she got me, soon after I eventually saw it and we kind of made up, and I really liked it but she still brings it up and whenever he subject is brought up she ends up getting in a real bad mood, am I wrong to think she's over exaggerating this and acting hysterical for no reason? I also apologized for the rude comments I made about her getting me something like that. | GF got me a present, I responded with "what if it's ugly" before even seeing it and she's still mad at me over it. |
t3_3h4upi | relationships | I [23 F] don't know what to do when my lease is up with my boyfriend [24 M] of 5 years | We used to have a really great relationship before I fell into a depression. i gained weight and stopped wanting to do things he enjoyed (which is usually just hiking, walking, riding bike, or anything else physical) he stopped calling me beautiful a while ago and told his mom he wasn't happy in his relationship a few months ago. Despite this he still talks as if we will be moving together in December. I love him very much and fear that if we took a break he would find someone else. He is originally from the southwestern side of the US while I lived in Florida (met online). We currently live in Florida together and when he moves he wants to go back to the west. I don't know if I can move away from all my friends, because they are a really important part of my life. I just don't know what to think or how to feel because he is so sweet but can also be very inconsiderate of my feelings. | My boyfriend shows many signs of not loving me anymore yet acts like he wants me to move away from my family and friends with him back to his homestate or a state closer to it. |
t3_3idg5a | relationships | My (20m) downstairs neighbor (2XM) is smoking on our non-smoking property and being an Nuisance. | My downstairs neighbor has a deck that is directly below mine. In the lease agreement it states there shall be no smoking in the rooms, the decks, or withing 30 feet of the building or else be charged with the costs of repainting the room/area. But he still smokes at least a pack a day on his porch.
This wouldnt be so bad except if i want to have my screen door open because its summer, i have to deal with the smoke drifting into my apartment.
Latley, he has been spending his whole day outside from 10am-12am hes sitting on his porch listening to music or watching movies loud enough so i can hear it through my headphones.
I've told property management he's smoking on his deck and Im pretty sure they didnt do anything because hes still out there doing his thing.
How do i get him to stop? Or at least stop playing music/ singing? | downstairs neighbor is smoking on our nonsmoking property and being loud. How do i get him to quiet down or stop? |
t3_35reir | tifu | TIFU by trying to out-lift a girl | Backstory- this happened maybe an hour ago. I'm new to weightlifting, but progressing quickly. I got sick twice back-to-back and then had finals week, then got my wisdom teeth taken out, so I haven't been to the weight room in a month or so. I get there, and start deadlifting. After a bit, this very fit, very beautiful girl starts deadlifting next to me. Because I haven't been to the gym in a month, I'm pretty weak, and also, she's very strong. She's lifting the same as me, which is unacceptable. I must assert alpha-ness by lifting heavier things. So I keep piling the weights on, even though I'm weak from sickness and mouth surgery. Maybe if I lift heavy enough things, she'll see me for the fine muscular specimen I (kinda) am. Eventually, I lift to the point where I know she won't be able to match me. This is when I realize that legs feel very, very bad. I call it quits, and hobble to my car. I just got home, and I think my legs are done for the day. I can't really even walk normal. | got sick, got weak, lifted lots, hurt legs, didn't impress pretty girl, lost my last bits of pride. |
t3_21aueh | relationships | [Personal Issues] Me [22F] with my BF [24M] have been dating for 7mo and recently got back together after a short break-up. How do I improve? | Hi wonderful people of /r/relationships,
My BF and I have been dating for some time and recently got back together after he broke up with me for a week.
Long story short, I lack a lot of confidence in myself and others, and it's straining our relationship. I had to convince him to give me another chance, that I could toughen up and develop more trust of him and confidence in myself... But I'm having a lot of trouble.
I am not a very confident woman at all. I spend a lot of time doubting myself, and him. I know it's not good! And the cliche of not being able to accept love until you love yourself is always ringing in my head. I would just like some solid advice, maybe a mantra or something, to help me trust him more. It's not that he's ever done anything untrustworthy either, it's just that I have a past of being hurt and such that makes it really difficult sometimes.
I want to change not only for our relationship, but also because I need it to become successful in my life. It's really tearing me apart. I get mad at him because he's friends with all these beautiful girls, and it makes me uncomfortable... He calls me beautiful and tells me he loves me everyday though! I don't know how to effectively change myself.
I get jealous, suspicious, and say stupid mean things when I know rationally I have no reason to. Please help. | I lack a lot of self-confidence and trust for others that has torn apart my current relationship; I have the chance to make things work with a wonderful man, but I need to find confidence and trust for others! |
t3_1ujcy1 | relationships | Me [M/late teens] and my girlfriend [F/late teens] have been in a serious relationship for just over two years and I can not stand her job please help. | Reddit, my girlfriend has been working at a fast food/dine in place called Panera Bread for a little over a year and people at her work are all losers in their twenties.
Sometimes the guys there hit on her and ask her to go hang out with her knowing she is dating me and I could easily beat their ass (I am a muscular guy). Then, on the other hand, she comes home crying from how bad that night went with the customers and her employees and she complains how she hates them.
Lastly, one thing I do not understand at all is why she goes to hang out with them outside of work, they usually go do things in groups like go out to eat or go play basketball at churches or go play laser tag.
I do not know what to do about these guys at her work and I don't even know what to say when she hates her coworkers and then goes to hang out with them. | I don't like my girlfriends job because guys hit on her and ask her to go hang out when they know I am dating her and clearly I could beat their ass. |
t3_3wbhv8 | relationships | Am I (30F) being too hard on my brother's (32M) new gf? | My brother, Angus, got engaged during the summer. He'd been dating Sarah for over four years, and they'd recently bought an apartment together. One month after proposing her, he dumped her.
Later on, I found out that it was because of another woman, Molly (22F). She worked with my brother, knew he was engaged, AND she even knew his fiance. And she moved in on the situation (after, not before his engagement), and Angus ended up leaving his fiance for the new girl.
Angus is expecting us (his whole family) to just accept this new girl with open arms. I'm struggling, because I barely know her. But to me, personally, I don't think it's a good first impression that she knowingly broke up an engagement, and pursued an engaged person. If he had a new girlfriend, I wouldn't have a problem. But the fact that the new girlfriend, is the one he cheated on his fiance with, and the one who made the first move....it just sort of makes me not like her off the bat.
This new girl is 10 years younger than my brother, if that helps at all.
I just want to mention that a) obviously I know my brother is just as bad as the girlfriend, but he's my brother, and even though I think he is an idiot, I love him. But I wouldn't recommend any of my friends ever date him in the future lol. b) I know the relationship between Angus and Sarah wouldn't have worked out anyway, so I don't want them getting back together. In a sense, this girl did them a favour, but that doesn't make what she did any better imo.
My brother doesn't know I feel this way, I'm not trying to interfere with them in any way. But I just don't like the girl.
SO am I being too harsh? Advice? | Brother left his fiance for a girl who persued him, knowing he was newly engaged. He expects us all to like her, and I don't. Am I being too harsh/judgey on this girl? |
t3_15o2us | relationship_advice | My girlfriend's father is abusive, girlfriend and her mother are scared to speak out. | I did not know where else to post this so if this is not for this subreddit, I apologize.
She's my girlfriend of 4 months. We are both 17. Recently, I notice she's been sounding and acting melancholy and anxious, almost fearful of something. Or someone. I know her father is absent but I never asked why. I figured he was just another deadbeat, another coward who was too foolish to wrap his soldier before going to bed with a woman.
Last week she told me he was in prison for assault charges, one of which was on my girlfriend's mother (she later told me this was not the first time this had happened but rather, the straw that broke the camel's back). He was imprisoned when she was young but she remembers what happened to her mother. That came as a shock to me, I never would have guessed that if I were not told but I decided not to press the issue. Speaking of my own family's past can make me uncomfortable so I knew it was not a wise/tactful topic to pursue with her.
Tonight she got on the topic of her father again and she told me he's getting out of prison NEXT MONTH and that he would likely force his way back into their home to live there. This was the part where I became extremely concerned for their well-being. He's an abuser who was likely abused himself. I doubt he changed much, if at all during his stay in prison.
She had fear in her voice as she told me all this and begged me not to tell anyone. I promised I would not but hey, here it is. I come here asking: What can I do and how can she and her mother protect themselves from him without a restraining order? The reason I do not want restraining orders brought into this matter is because of this: Restraining orders are more likely to get you killed or hurt even worse. | gf's abusive father is getting out of prison soon. what can I do to support her and what can THEY do to protect themselves without a restraining/protection order? |
t3_3jkru4 | relationships | My [24 M] boyfriend [20 M] of 6 months wants to go to California with his old friend with benefit [57 M] | My boyfriend asked me the other day if I would be comfortable if another guy flew him out to California. I immediately say no. We continue talking and it turns out that it's a 57 year old man who has flown him out on other occasions. He tells me they did have sex, but nothing would happen this time.
I told my boyfriend that nothing is free and 57 year olds don't just fly their 20 year old friends to California to hang out. I grew up learning there are strings attached to money. I told my boyfriend that his friend was more then welcome to come to Orlando if he wants to hang out. I can meet him and we could have a great time. I even told him that if he wanted to pay for his own flight to california that's fine.
At the end of the conversation we agreed on those boundaries.
Today when I asked to use his computer, my boyfriend closed his messaging app. Before it closed I saw something about him going anyways.
How should I handle this if he does decide to go? | Boyfriends 57 year old fwb wants to fly my boyfriend to california./How should I handle this if he does decide to go?! |
t3_3pa7l4 | relationships | (F/24) Feeling repulsed by my boyfriend (M/26) out of nowhere. | It started out with me ignoring his calls and texts a few days ago. I was slightly annoyed, but not sure why.
But in the few days since, it's progressed to me being repulsed when he touches me or tries to kiss me. Last night I nearly slept on the edge of the bed to keep him from getting too close and cuddling with me. He hasn't done anything in specific to trigger this. I was extremely attracted to him, our sex and communication was great up until a few days ago when I started feeling this way.
This is not the first guy it's happened with, it's occurred in nearly all of my past relationships. I feel guilty about it, and I am ashamed of myself when this happens. I understand that I'm a cold bitch. But I honestly cannot help the way I feel.
I wonder if this is something I can personally work on. I don't want all of my romantic relationships to come to this point. How can I fix this problem, for the sake of future relationships? | Not sure why, but out of nowhere I can't stand to be around my boyfriend. I feel guilty and I know it's a problem. What's wrong with me? |
t3_4bnzol | legaladvice | Purchased a car from a small shady dealership... Seller arrested, owner said lawyers will be in contact. What now... [MO] | So I purchased a car for my father (figured it would be a nice thing to do) and now I'm left in a mess.
I have possession of the car, a bill of sale, receipts. - I believe the bank has the title since we were waiting on release for that.
I called the dealership today, and the person who answered the phone informed me that the person who had sold me the car was arrested on felony theft charges, and he may have stolen the money. (paid cash, and have paperwork saying the money was given to the business etc, but he was the only one there ever). - I was told lawyers and/or the police will be in contact.
Another interesting thing is that the person on the phone mentioned something about the owner of the business being there, but busy. When I looked up the business entity information online, it shows that his name is on the LLC (the person I was talking to on the phone).
I called again asking to know which bank has possession of the title, and was told that I will get the title, and he basically avoided the question.
What now. I have a car for my father, but no title. This is turning into a huge nightmare. - I'm worrying that the owner of the place may close up shop and leave me stranded.
The temp tag runs out soon and I'll be on vacation soon. - perfect timing. :/ | Bought car from shady dealership, seller has been arrested on felony charges. Someone(maybe owner) of business claims lawyers/police may be in touch. I'm lost and stressing out. |
t3_18ynjp | relationships | Married M (28) with wife (29) are pregnant, we are not in the right spot to have a child but she is pregnant and wanting to go to term, How should I discuss abortion? | Hello all, my wife and I got married in the fall of last year and due to poor planning and for some reason a need to not pull out she is now pregnant as of 02/14/2013. The embryo is now about 3 or 4 weeks old and I know we are not in a place to have a child. We are both in our late 20s and not in careers or even the location we want to be. I think the best option for us is to not have the child but dont know how to bring it up. Any suggestions or advice would be extremely helpful. Any medical procedures that can be done (i.e. chemical abortions). She is not super anti abortion just does not want to have an abortion for herself due to the guilt she may feel, | Having a kid but want an abortion even though we are married, but wife doesn't want abortion due to guilt. |
t3_3xxydj | Advice | College Student with a Big Problem. | So, I go to school at a relatively expensive college. Freshman year I partied and didnt care too much about grades, like an idiot. Ended with a 2.55 GPA Sophomore year I didn't go out at all and only managed about a 3.1 while studying probably 20-30 hrs a week. Now present day.... I'm a Junior. I am an accouting major and I just finished Auditing and Cost Accounting. My GPA this semester... 2.48.... My grades in those two classes respectively... C and D. I tried so hard, studied my ass off for all the tests in the classes and I just completely bombed everything. Maybe accounting isnt my thing, maybe I have test anxiety, maybe I'm just dumb as a brick... I have no idea but all I know is that I have to retake the courses. This would set me back a whole semester and I just cannot afford that. I could drop out but I already made my deposit and payments for next semester. I am too embarased to return to school and I feel useless to the world. How could I be so dumb. I honestly felt like I did really well on my Auditing final but I got a 65.... I thought I had at least an 85. This also happened on the other 2 tests I took. I studied everything my professor told me to, did practice problems, everything... and I failed. I am a failure. Cost, on the other hand, was hard as fuck. I dont think I knew what was going on for the whole 2nd half of that class. Got an 89 on the first test, not too shabby and then a 65 on test 2. My final was a 40... yep, a 40. I put in a lot of studying and once I got the test. I remembered nothing. I think I guessed on 50% of the test. What do I do. How do I address my parents about this. I cannot think of a way out and I just wanna cry tbh. This is a nightmare. | Did very poorly in 2 of my major courses, need to retake them. did not perform well on my tests, regardless of hours of studying. How do I address parents/go about getting out of this mess Ive made. |
t3_36pyfw | relationships | My [22/F] boyfriend's [22/M] mother has cancer. I don't know how to deal with it. Help? | Dealing with boyfriend has been harder and harder everyday. I feel like I should watch everything I say and everything I do because he becomes so sensitive. Today we were talking about his mother and and my uncle, who also has cancer. I told him, "Look on the bright side, your mother has seen you grow up, if my uncle dies, my little cousins will never know what it's like to have a dad" and he got very mad at me. He said I should stop comparing. He just walked away.
I know it's my fault that I compared. But I honestly just wanted him to see the brighter side of things. That life is beautiful. And he should see the good things about it rather than dwell on the sad parts.
Am I wrong? Please tell me because I feel stupid about this. | My boyfriend's mother has cancer, and I don't know how to give him advice or cheer him up. It feels like everything I say is wrong.. Help? |
t3_27k5dp | relationships | 1 year ago I [22 M] told her [22F] I wanted to be with her. She didn't feel the same and I got over it. I recently met her new boyfriend and my feelings came back with a vengeance. What do I do now? | I have known this girl for a long time but we didn't become good friends until a year ago. I developed feelings for her which I told her about and she didn't feel the same.
We remained friends and about 3 months later she got a boyfriend, at the time I shrugged this off, she wasn't into me so why dwell on it? Over the next 9 months we continued as friends. Many of our mutual friends, both ones that knew I had liked her and ones that did not, commented on our close relationship and compatibility during this time. The usual "You'd make a good couple" type stuff.
Then comes the night I met her boyfriend. I immediately felt hostile towards him and confided this to one of my friends. Despite this I made an effort to speak to him; he was a decent guy, pleasant but shy. He left before she did and she asked what I thought if him, I told her the truth I thought he was OK.
Later I brought him up again and said something along the lines of "I don't like him because he's not me". This led to a whole drunken discussion between us about why she didn't feel the same as I did a year ago, the whole thing was awkward and neither of us really wanted to have the conversation so we forgot about it for the rest of the night. I apologized the next day, acknowledged I did still have feelings for her but that I knew she didn't feel the same, and it was back to the status quo.
I saw her again a few days ago and now I can't stop thinking about her. What should I do now? | Told a friend I liked her, she didn't feel the same. Thought I was over it but after meeting her boyfriend it turns out I'm not. Would like internet strangers to tell me what to do next. |
t3_4ff6gw | tifu | TIFU by jumping onto a trash can drunk and promptly landing on my face | This happened yesterday in Atlanta. Some of my best friends (read: worst/best influences) from undergrad are visiting a part of our crew who goes to grad school down there from NYC.
So were all happy to be back together all weekend and Sunday turns immediately into an aggressive Sunday-funday. Grad School friend brings myself and another one of my friends around campus while the other part of the crew is re-upping at the liquor store.
Its a beautiful campus, there's an amphitheater in a nice open area and, due to alcohol, we start using the amphitheater as a playground and start jumping around and just overall having a good time.
Liquid confidence is very high at this point so I jump a gap in the amphitheater. Nailed it. Liquid Confidence Lvl: Max. I see a trashcan near me among the same height as I am. so I go for it.
As I am flipping backwards and sideways, I realize that the trash can isn't bolted to the concrete square in the grassy area its standing on. I also realize its completely empty. I figure, if this goes bad I fall in the grass, say ow, and continue on with the day.
Instead, I go straight right instead of ANY OTHER DIRECTION, and meet the concrete sidewalk with the right side of my face, left wrist, and somehow sprained my left ankle.
What a 9am flight this morning back to NYC it was.
Can't wait to explain at work why I have a nug on my right cheekbone. | Got Drunk, jumped a gap (hardcore parkour!!!), jumped onto a trashcan, blew it, met concrete with face, ow. |
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