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t3_2cqxsj | tifu | TIFU by getting food stuck in my brace | This was quite recent. I, at the time, had my braces on for over a year. Was all fine, really. It'd hurt when they replaced the wire but that was all. I was generally happy with it on. Didn't affect me at all.
Then, one day, they had to add a bit onto the brace. One end was attached to the wire and the other was attached to a tooth that needed pulling down. It hurt so badly the whole day.
I think I passed out from the pain. This is the first mistake. I groggily go down the stairs after my hour pass out and I'm greeted by the local takeaway. I grab a drink and munch it down. As I bit down on the hard food I heard a click from in my mouth but ignored it. I take my empty plate into the kitchen and realize I have a piece of chicken stuck on the wire in the corner. I stretch my tongue to get it and immediately taste blood as my tongue is stuck in the wire.
As I try to squirm my tongue out of the wire I move my mouth around and hear a click. The extra wire they attached to my tooth had unlocked and latched onto the inside of my mouth, squirting blood everywhere. I run into my mother and say:
"Um im stu mpain." which roughly translates to "Um I'm stuck and in pain."
I go to the hospital and miserably sulk in pain still speaking like that above. Damn you tasty chicken. | ate the seductively tempting chicken and ended up getting my mouth caught on my brace as I tried to remove stuck chicken on my brace. |
t3_3on0e7 | personalfinance | Disputing a Comcast charge - received a bank reimbursement AND a Comcast reimbursement check | So, when I cancelled my Comcast cable service (because I was moving and don't need cable anymore), I had $122 outstanding, aka my final bill. This amount, weeks later, was sent to a collections department that Comcast uses. I thought it was a bit odd, because it wasn't very delinquent, but as I understand, Comcast tends to do this with disconnected accounts.
Anyway, I logged onto Comcast's website and paid the $122.30 I owed. All seemed to be squared up, but then I received a letter from the collections dept saying thanks for your $129.80 payment (the original amount plus a $7.50 fee).
Both amounts were taken out of my checking account, so I disputed the latter, because I did not authorize that payment. My credit union, upon investigating the dispute, credited me the $129.80 while they work it out. That still hasn't been completed, but today, I received a check from Comcast for the original amount I paid, $122.80.
Can I cash this check? | Was disputing a double charge on a Comcast account... bank is disputing the collector and issued credit, and Comcast also issued me a refund. |
t3_17my1x | relationships | (f/21) trying to repair a relationship with (m/21) | Sup reddit,
Let me start by saying that I am mostly at fault. I came into the relationship as an paranoid person because I've been cheating on multiple times. Neither of us intended for it to be so serious but, two and a half years later, we are still here and best friends at that.
For the first year or so it was awesome. As time went on, though, my paranoia grew and I snooped. I found out that he had been looking at pictures of girls we knew on facebook to jack off. Girls that he originally had crushes on and said he had gotten over. Girls that he's still friends with and talks to regularly.
This freaked me out a great deal, as he rarely compliments me, and I took it to mean that he just didn't find me attractive any more. Which sucks and has apparently turned out to be the case because of my paraoia.
Every time I snooped, I spoke to him about it. I feel immediately awful and dirty, and I didn't want to go on with that in my heart. Now, we're at an awful spot and have broken up and gotten back together several times because of my insecurities.
How can I get over that my boyfriend is still friends with these people? And how can I learn to have better self confidence so that another relatively normal thing doesn't drive me insane like it has? I always thought that if I made myself more attractive, then the issues would go away. Now I'm just 10x more self concious, as other guys compliment, hit on, and ask me out often....I just don't really get that kind of interest from my guy anymore. | Self concious girl snooped, found slightly disturbing but otherwise normal thing. Feels betrayed and unattractive. Feelings of ugliness and paranoia have destroyed the relationship. How to recover? |
t3_2e83ym | tifu | TIFU by hitting on a co-worker. | It wasn't exactly Today.
I went out for drinks with a few co-workers Tuesday night. It was just a happy hour at first, but it quickly devolved into a random drink fest.
Now it was me, two other guys and one girl. It's late and we're about to part ways (around Midnight and we had been out since 6). I'm noticeably drunk and my friend, the girl, offered to let me sleep on her couch since I'm about an hour from home. I of course agree.
All is fine. All is good. We walk back to her apartment. Now important note - I was dating someone and she knew this. She opens up her couch for me to pass out on, and I say something about how she should sleep on the couch with me. "Hah- You're drunk PirateDrunk - just go to sleep".
I wake up the next morning and still all is okay. We both have to grab a subway to get to work.
*******
While on the subway the conversation went something like this:
"Did I do anything dumb last night?"
"You tried to but don't worry nothing happened"
"Okay..... Well.... I'm breaking things off with [girl I'm dating's name], so want to do it again tonight? This time
we could actually sleep in the same bed. How about it?!"
She replied with nervous laughter.
Then silence. Then turns to me.
"Wait, you're serious?"
"Well, yeah. Sort of? ........... Um... I mean of course I was kidding!"
Repulsed. And silence. The rest of the ride back was silent. What could have easily been ignored and continued to be our usual friendly conversation had quickly devolved. And now she's noticeably not speaking to me.
I felt like Louis CK fucking up a dating scenario. Or some other buffoon making an ill timed joke. | Woke up on a co-workers couch. All was fine. I make a joke during the commute that I'm breaking up with my girlfriend so we should sleep together next time. Silence. |
t3_340t4u | tifu | TIFU by feeling sorry for my dog and leaving him inside while I went out | So I have this dog called Dudley. He's a cute little dog, about 2 years old maybe 1 and a half, he's a good boy and never does anything wrong except dig holes in the backyard. So we were out of bread and my parents were out and my little brother was at the movies, and it was raining hard, and I really wanted some French toast, so I was like fuck it, bread shops 2 mins away I'll go get some bread. Now it's really raining and I'm about to leave and then my dog starts whimpering. I'm thinking hey he's a good dog I'll leave him inside so he'll stay warm and not get wet, that's a good idea (queue fuck up) I go out leave Dudley inside and go get the bread. I'm gone for less than 5 mins, 7 at most. I come home to find my 60$ bean bad ripped to pieces, all of those little fucking beanbag beans everywhere. And he pissed on the carpet. And there's the little fucker laying there chewing his bone all innocently. Now when I say the beans were everywhere, I mean everywhere and the worst part was my floor boards are those wood ones with the massive a lines missing inbetween each floor board so all the beans were in them. Parents come home to find house full of dead beanbag and dog piss, they weren't happy. | raining, so left dog inside. Got bread, came back to find a dead beanbag, house full of beans and dog piss. Not happy with dog |
t3_117ayd | AskReddit | Do pedophiles deserve sympathy? | Before you reply: "Hurr durr, OP thinks pedophiles should get to have sex with children" I suggest you read this whole post.
I think what best sums up the rationale for my question are the ideas that:
* Someone **cannot** choose to not be a pedophile, but one **can** choose to not be a child molester.
* Sympathy ≠ approval. Sympathy: an extension of **empathic** (not a typo) concern, or the perception, understanding, and reaction to the distress or need of another human being
In society, esp. in the internet and on television we portray pedophiles as inherently evil and morally corrupt for their sexual feelings toward children. But more and more evidence in the field of Biology suggests that a pedophile would have just as much control over his/her ability to feel sexual attraction towards children, as a heterosexual would in controlling his/her affinity for the opposite sex. This is not to say that pedophilia is a definitive sexual orientation however, psychiatric studies suggest quite the contrary, that pedophilia is more akin (albeit very complexly) to a mental disorder. In either case, pedophilia is seen as something one is stuck with, something outside of a pedophile's ability to control. If the consensus is that pedophilia is something that one acquires irreversibly, (i.e. by birth, or by child molestation victims who themselves become pedophiles), why do we crucify these people for their tendencies instead of trying to sympathize with them? I think that we should sympathize with pedophiles who do, and do not feel that child molestation is a viable outlet (because not all pedophiles are child molesters) and actually assist them in getting psychiatric help. I could be wrong reddit, so what do you think? Do pedophiles deserve sympathy? | If pedophiles don't choose to be pedophiles, why has society chosen not to sympathize with them? Or do they not deserve our sympathy? |
t3_njr6v | BreakUps | i feel the relationship's run its course, how do i act these final days? | my bf and i are both in our mid 20s, grad students. we've dated for a year and a couple months and had some incredible adventures, but i feel that the relationship's run its course for me- i've been feeling this for a couple months now.
i've had my mind set on breaking up since the beginning of december, but because we were both overwhelmed with school i didn't want to add another stress to our lives, so i decided to wait until all of his finals were completed... except now it's christmas, and i don't want to be the girl who broke up with him over christmas. we're also in different cities right now with our families, and i don't have the heart to break up with him over the phone.
how am i supposed to act until i go back to school and see him in january? i've already told him that i don't want to exchange christmas gifts... but what do i do when he asks to make plans to skype and stuff? i don't want to just go completely cold and distant without explanation, but i also don't want to pretend that everything's okay. | ready to end it with bf, but don't want to ruin his christmas. we're now in different cities with family. how should i act until i can see him again? |
t3_2zcxbq | relationships | Me [20 M] and my mom [59 F] whenever we argue it's like I dont exist and she just yells over me until I agree. How do I talk to her? | My mom has very defined opinions making it difficult to talk to her.
For example, 3 weeks after my haircut, my mom wanted me to get another haircut. I was like, "uh, no, I like my hair right now and it's not long" and she would not have it! She just said things like "Do it for your mom!" and "Your hair looks really bad" and worst, she would just yell "Thank you!" over and over as if I had agreed to the haircut while she walked away because she didnt want to talk about it anymore.
Another example. I went grocery shopping with my mom and she decided to get a box of like 30 cookies for my dad. I was so upset cause my dad is diabetic so I told her to leave them for that reason. All she kept saying was, "if I dont get them, he'll find cookies somewhere else!" and "your dad needs a treat!" and all this shit, never addressing my concerns. Anyway, I ended up stealing the cookies from her cart at checkout and putting them back. I was so upset.
I was just hoping for some advice on how to argue with someone who literally does not hear anything you say. It's a different story if it's just a friend, but this is my mom, I'm gunna have to argue with her for a while longer about a lot of things. | How to have a healthy debate with your mom who doesn't listen to you when you talk and just continues her point like you never said anything. |
t3_wtihd | loseit | 50 lbs down and a resting heart rate of 48 bmp! Thank you loseit for keeping me motivated. | In May of 2011 I decided it was time to start losing weight. Due to multiple knee surgeries when I was younger I had developed a very lethargic lifestyle and needed to makes some changes. So I subscribed to this sub and started running 3 times a week. I started small and with a goal of a 10 min mile. Slowly over the past year+ I have been adding to my running time and now run 7 miles in an hour 3 times a week and have begun adding push ups and sit ups to my workout routine (up to 70 push ups a day and 100 sit ups). I gradually in this time went from 185+ to now a range of 135-140. During this time many people have kept me motivated with their compliments about my change in appearance and overall health, but the biggest motivator has been this sub.
Yesterday I had to have a surgical procedure and every nurse and doctor asked me about my heart rate. It turns out my new resting rate is around 48 beats per minute when the average is 70. Once again, thank you /r/loseit for helping me keep up my new lifestyle. Remember, we are not on diets or weight loss plans, we are starting new healthier lives. | Lost 50 lbs, reduced my heart rate, and gained a new healthy life thanks to /r/Loseit and /r/GetMotivated |
t3_4gdt99 | relationships | How can my girlfriend [F23] and I [F24] better manage the time we spend together? | Me girlfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and we've pretty much been living together that whole time.
The circumstances when we started dating made it so it just made sense to live together. Now we're nearing the end of our lease on our apartment and we're wondering if we should live in separate places.
We're around each other a lot -- evenings and weekends. We've both been feeling a bit suffocated and have been trying to do things alone more, like hang out with friends.
We don't really feel like we're dating because we're always together. We love each other a lot and don't want to give up but something needs to change.
The problem with living apart is that my girlfriend is just getting by because her job doesn't pay her a lot. We also want travel for a few months ASAP and need to save money for that so living together would make the most sense.
I guess living with roommates would be a good balance of having our own time and saving money but I know my girlfriend said she didn't really want to do that. We've had bad experiences with roommates in the past.
Any suggestions on how we could improve our living situation? And how we could live together and not get sick of each other/still feel like we're dating? | me and my GF love each other but feel like we need space and want to feel like we're dating again, not just living together. Living separately might be too expensive. Any suggestions? |
t3_4t2cvp | jobs | Possible I will be fired in the next month for performance. can I still be Eligible for Unemployment Benefits in the state of FL? | I work as a counselor in the state of Florida. Me, my supervisor and most of my coworkers just started working here within the last 4 months. We inherited a lot of poorly maintained client files and we have a big audit coming up in August. I try my best to keep up with my files, but it is incredibly difficult because I also perform many of duties of the vacant administrative assistant. Right now I feel like I am being made to work an extra part time job in addition to my full time job, but I only get 40 hours a week to do both. I am not able to effectively manage my time due to having to drop whatever I may be doing to work on whatever little project my manager wants me to do right now that should be done by the non existant assistant (nobody wants to work for the low pay, part time, or in a prison. My job is in a prison BTW). On top of all of that, upper management is giving us conflicting and sometimes contradictory expectations of how our files should look like. I am completely at a loss on how our office is going to pass our audit and I fear for my job. Most of the office has started looking for another job about a month ago. I currently live and work in the state of Florida and would really appreciate any advice as far as if I will be able to collect unemployment should I get fired for not meeting expectations. Sorry if this reads like a rant I tried to not make it seem that way. I would also appreciate any advice on how I should frame this to future employers assuming I am fired. | Possible I Will Be Fired In The Next Month For Performance. Can I Still Be Eligible For Unemployment Benefits In The State Of FL? |
t3_1bfdua | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, can you help me choose a new middle name? | No this isn't theoretical or an April Fool's day joke, I legitimately am seeking to legally change my middle name. I've been thinking and thinking and poring over books and documentaries and nothing is jumping out at me!
In an unprecedented bout of crazy, I'm going to reveal my full name and ask for your help choosing a new one.
Any questions about personality or likes/dislikes?? Please ask!
A bit about me for ideas:
* I am Irish and Native American
* female
* photographer by profession
* baseball fan, occasional gamer, history enthusiast, and literary lover
That being said, I am not beyond any sort of mythological name of any sort, or even "danger" if ya'll can't come up with anything better.
So here goes, my name is:
**Cearra May Cannon**
**Cearra** is Celtic/Gaelic for dark like night/charcoal, and is derived from the God of the Hunt/Night and the Goddess of Dreams/Hallucinations *badass*
**May** is the month I was born in. Nothing else. That's it. Needs replacing. *not badass*
**Cannon** besides being a massive gun, comes from the Celtic/Gaelic for wolf cub *badass | I've decided to legally change my name and am struggling to find something I love. Reddit, help me to choose a badass new middle name! |
t3_2lqqm7 | relationships | I (24M) am really into this girl (23) and shes into me but she is opposite of what I want in a girlfriend. | So we work together, in a restaurant, which can also be a hindrance when finding a partner. Ive known her since the day she started and we've always got along real well. In fact I dont think I've gotten along with anyone on this kind of level before. She is a VERY attractive city girl and is really into me as well. I mean she tells me all the time how "god damn hot" I am. The problem is who she is though. As I said she is VERY attractive, I mean hot in every sense of the word. She knows it and so does everyone else, so obviously shes been through a lot of guys and a lot of crazy experiences. I on the other hand have only really been with a few girls, and im a country boy at heart, I was raised in a town of 600 people. With as much as we talk I know shes looking for a relationship, not just to hook up, and I really dont know what to do. I feel like I wouldnt trust her and I feel like shed be too high priority for me, but I also feel like we could get along and be happy for a long time. I dunno what to do. | I really like this girl I work with and she really likes me. I think we could be happy, but shes the complete opposite of what I want in a girl. Is it worth it? |
t3_49s49m | relationships | Me [21 M] going on a first date [19 F] Is kissing on the first date good or bad? | I'm going on a first date with this girl I met last semester in a math class. We talked a bit then and I saw her recently so I asked her on a date. She said yes and we are both pretty excited.
The last time I went on a first date I kissed the girl at the end, twice. Things didn't work out but we are still friends.
I'm not sure if I should kiss this girl on a first date. She is really nice and she said yes to a date pretty quickly. I don't want to scare her off or anything like that. I know every girl is different. I'm already feeling a good connection with her. | Is kissing on the first date socially acceptable. I'm just kind of afraid that I will miss my chance with this girl if I don't but also move too fast if I do. |
t3_4ekgqf | dating_advice | how do i go from friend to lover? | My negatives
1. I'm 5 foot 9
2. I'm 160 lbs and average looking
3. I'm Indian.
4. I have no game.
Especially number 4 is my obstacle. I've seen shorter, uglier, fatter, and other Indian guys get gfs.
But, I lack game. I meet girls, but I introduce myself to them normally. As in a hey, how are you? And major, hometown, what year. But. I can't flirt with girls. And I don't know the tactics guys use to bring girls back to their dorms/houses. And I don't know how to get a gf.
I like a Chinese girl and a brunette Mexican girl on my dorm floor and 2 Asians in my philosophy and CS class, and another Mexican girl I hang out with. I'm going after average Asian and Latina girls, not the blonde sorority sisters.
But, I don't know how to ask any of them out. Out of the 5 girls, I only know the Chinese girl on my dorm floor, the Asian in my CS class and the Mexican I hang out with. And I just say hi to the Chinese girl and the CS Asian, and not really know them well. | Don't know how to make a move on either of these girls. And don't know how to approach the girls I don't know at all since we barely see each other and they are almost always with friends. |
t3_21k1bt | relationships | I'm [24/F] still not over my ex-boyfriend [23/M] after 2 years | They say it takes a few months to get over a break-up... I broke up with my ex-boyfriend over 2 years ago, and I still think about him every day. I often miss him, regret ending things, and wonder what could have been... even though I'm now in a committed, long-term relationship with someone else (which makes me feel like a HORRIBLE person). I feel like maybe there is one person out there for everyone, but I threw mine away because I wasn't ready to be as strong as he needed me to.
We met in college, and were together for about 3 years. I've never felt so compatible with someone - our personalities clicked in a way I could never put into words. Our relationship was so dynamic, exciting, and fitting for both of us. Until things went bad... he has Aspergers Syndrome, and has some issues with empathy, which was apparently why he cheated on me a few times. I tried to work through it with him in therapy because I know he has issues that aren't completely under his control, but eventually I couldn't take it anymore, and ended things. | Is there something wrong with me? It's been TWO YEARS! Am I obsessed and crazy for missing him, or did I throw away what was meant to be? |
t3_lfmha | relationships | Just found out my girlfriend has been lying about smoking. What would you do? | To give some background. We were both moderate smokers a few years ago, I gave up with the help of a book and encouraged her to quit too. She eventually did, but has repeatedly slipped back into it, but has done so behind my back. Quitting smoking leaves you with a keen sense of smell for tobacco: I could smell it on her breath tonight, thinly disguised by some mint, and sure enough, found her stash once she'd gone to bed. This follows months of her never mentioning smoking under the pretence that she had quit. I'm not sure why, but having given after smoking has just bolstered my sincere dislike for it, I don't feel I could stay with someone forever who smokes, knowing the damage it will cause. That might sound hypocritical since I myself smoked, but having freed myself from it had made me more anti-smoking than I was before. I also realise the argument is going to come up that she obviously didn't want to quit in the first place. And though she claimed to at the time, I acknowledge that this is obviously true. | We both used to smoke, I quit, she claimed to. Has lied about it since despite me having caught her a couple of times. |
t3_v5p0n | AskReddit | Redditors, what's the best office prank you and your coworkers have pulled? | I work from home so I'm fascinated to hear all of these stories but my dad who works for an identity theft protection firm in Tempe had an awesome one pulled on him (and if you guys don't know what it's like to work in identity theft protection, you're not missing anything. They're all stone cold robots, except for this guy). So as backgound knowledge it's work protocol to leave your computer locked and unable to be accessed for say a bathroom or lunch break. Well my dad apparently didn't close his all the way and his friend got on his computer and sent out a mass email to everyone within 3 floors that he was having a heart attack when really he just had to piss. Upon getting back my dad was greeted with about a dozen local paramedics with a stretcher ready and all of his coworkers pale as ghosts. Fortunately no ambulances were called and no authorities time was wasted. Well that's it, can't wait to hear your guys' stories. | Dad's friend sent out a mass email on my dad's computer saying he was having a heart attack and local paramedics showed up. |
t3_gtdsb | AskReddit | Hi Reddit, distressed and overwhelmed college student here... Please, please help? (Possible ADD question) | Hi Reddit,
I'm a freshman in college, and this year has been nothing but a struggle for me. In my first semester my grades were really poor, and I really wanted to do my best to get my GPA up this semester, especially since I was put on academic probation after first semester. All today and yesterday, I simply could not find the willpower to sit down and focus on my papers that I needed to write. I had 20 pages that I need to write by Thursday, and yet I couldn't get myself to write a single page.
Anyway, I am seriously wondering if ADD/ADHD could be the problem. Please understand, I am NOT looking for an escape route here, I just don't understand why I just can't get myself to do the work.
A little background stuff on myself and ADD...
I have always been this way. I know I am decently smart, I got a 29 on my ACT and have always been seen as one of the smart kids. I've never achieved great grades, and the possibility of ADD actually has come up before. I approached my parents about it last semester, as well as the first semester in my senior year in high school. Both times however, my parents shot my request down to get tested, saying that it was simply me being lazy. Both times when they told me this, I really believed that it was just me being lazy, but no matter how hard I try, nor how many reasons for motivation I have, I simply cannot get things done.
I should also say that a couple times before I have taken friends medication, and I have felt that it made a world of difference.
I am 19, so if I need to go on my own for this without my parents support, I am willing.... I just really have no clue where to go from here. | I think I might have ADD, but I don't know how to approach parents who have shot the idea down in the past, and finals are fast approaching. What do I do? |
t3_30xy9z | relationships | [36M] happily married [37F] with kids. However, great conversations with a coworker [34F]. Want wife's approval to be friends. | So my wife and I have been married for over a decade. We are happy. And, as with any long term relationship, interests have changed. She is a fantastic person, mom, wife, lover, I have no complaints. We don't share all of the same interests, but we share those we do together.
In comes coworker. We grew up in similar environments, we have a lot of the same tastes, and we both have a sarcastic/joking personality. There are no romantic interests, nor would there ever be. We are too much alike, and she is very respectful of my family. However, I really enjoy our talks.
I would like to incorporate this coworker into our group of friends. There are possible issues though. Rumors awhile back painted her as a cheater. She insists it isn't true, that it was the end result of a rough divorce. I believe it, I see no reason for her to lie. End result here would her meeting and getting to be friends with my wife. The other issue would be my wife. As wonderful as she is, she's a little possessive. I'm fine with that. But I don't know how well she would take me introducing a female coworker as a potential friend; particularly one that was accused of cheating.
I truly think they would get along great. And I would like having her as a friend to talk about things that don't interest my wife but still interest me. Music, concerts, outdoor activities, things like that. I'm just not sure if the history and my wife's personality would cause this to blow up. Is this a lost cause? Is it a bad idea to even consider? I'm certainly not looking to cause any problems or stress on my marriage. But I don't know anyone among my friends who's interests align so well with mine. | Female coworker is super fun to talk to, think wife would like her. Concerned wife may take offense due to possessiveness and rumors of coworker's past. |
t3_2g4l3m | Advice | I want to be a programmer but I've realised I suck at maths... | Fuck... Well, I've always wanted to be a programmer and I know it's just dreams and aspirations etc but I've always wanted to work for a game creation studio e.g Bethesda, valvE, blah blah blah. Anyway... I've recently started college (United Kingdom) so I'm only 16 almost 17. I have taken A-Level Maths, physics, computer science and chemistry. I only got a B at GCSE maths but only because I'm a lazy fuck. I'm good at maths, I'm good with numbers and problem solving but lack in.... Motivation and effort, so I got lazy... And fucked up. Anyway, recently started A level maths which is still considered easy compared to the end of the course and I'm struggling a little where as everyone else in the class just aces it within seconds. What do you think I should do :( drop the subject? I'm just SO SO down about this and it's really getting to me, and I'm scared :D.. I'm scared that without this subject I won't be able to succeed in the career path I have set my eyes on... I have no idea where else to go, I actively use reddit for entertainment but now I'm bitching to it? I just need genuine advice from genuine people... :( | IM A LAZY SHIT HEAD AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO AND IM SORRY FOR THIS BEING LONG |
t3_35zhxc | relationships | Probably overthinking this, but... Me [29 M] with my ex [23 F], invited to her wedding? | More of a question to the crowd in general, I guess. Is it common to be invited to the wedding of an ex? If you have, did you end up going?
I was dating "Karen" some years ago. The breakup was messy at the time (she cheated on me, then we hooked up for a while as FWB before we both stopped and got into serious relationships with other people), but since then we've become reasonably good friends who talk online once a month or so.
Karen started dating a new man last year and accidentally wound up pregnant. She had her baby at the beginning of this year, and has since been a SAHM. She and her boyfriend seem to have had a somewhat rocky relationship (which makes sense with an unexpected pregnancy among college students), but he proposed a few weeks ago. Wedding invitations just went out and I was somewhat surprised to receive one.
I'm on good terms with the bride-to-be and her family, but I'm not sure if it's customary for an ex to come to the wedding. There's no lingering romantic attraction between the two of us, and my current SO most likely won't have a problem with me attending (though if she unexpectedly does, I'll decline the invitation).
I don't know if the groom-to-be knows that Karen and I used to date (I also took her virginity)... I'm thinking his knowledge of the situation might be the key to the answer, huh?
So... what would /r/relationships do? | Dated a girl some years ago, broke up, but remained on friendly (and platonic) terms. She sent me a wedding invitation. Unsure if husband-to-be knows our past. What do, Reddit? |
t3_1mbomg | relationships | My [20/f] engangement with my fiancée [24/f] is falling into shambles and I'm so lost. | I feel like I sacrificed so much for this woman. We used to joke around and laugh and love and it all came so easily. Now I don't even know who she is anymore. Over a year ago, I moved 2.5k miles away from my family and friends to be close to her hometown. I don't regret moving because it's been an incredible experience. I feel like I have sacrificed way more than she has. I gave up my education to help support us, now I'm in-between jobs and she's comfortable working 40 hours a week and in class for 15 credit hours a week.(Mind you, this is her last year of school.) On the weekends, she makes time for her friends, and I don't fit into the equation. She only looks at me with disgust now, as if I'm that thing she just picked up a couple of years ago and won't leave her alone. She refuses to initiate sex anymore because she's incredibly self-conscious and has severe BDD and refuses to see a therapist and refuses to talk to me. So, if I want sex, I have to initialise it every single time. After a while, it gets old. I feel like I'm putting in 110% and she's putting in 50%, whereas she feels like she's putting in 110%, and I'm putting in 50%. I just don't know if we're compatible anymore. The thought of leaving her depresses me because I just love her so much and I would let her walk all over me and trample over my heart rather than break hers. I feel like she's already given up on us and I'm so lost. She's the girl of my dreams, but now she just haunts me in my nightmares. I miss who she used to be. | fiancée and I are fizzling out dude to her 40 hour work week/full-time classes and I'm the last priority. I'm lost. |
t3_13371c | relationships | I [f/22] feel like I'm getting irrationally annoyed with my LDSO [m/23] | I knew that a LDR was going to be a lot of work, but I think I'm starting to go crazy. We've been together officially for two months, but it's been unofficial for about 8 months. Things were really great, and he's really wonderful, and I know he's a really good person, but I've started getting really annoyed at him for really stupid things, like not reacting the way I want him to when I say something, or not understanding what I'm talking about, or for clearing his throat into the phone.
It's getting to the point where I'm dreading seeing him next week at thanksgiving because I'm afraid I'm going to be mean to him. Thus far I've managed to not snap at him or anything, because I feel like I'm being irrational and unreasonable.
I have some theories about why I'm acting this way. First of all, I just moved across the country to start a new job, which is stressful. Second, I'm in the process of applying to grad schools, which is stressful. Third, I used to have moderate seasonal affective disorder, and while I haven't had problems with it since my freshman year of college, I think being in a new place with no friends during the winter might trigger it. And I think I'm worried about having to deal with that when I thought I was past it. So basically I think I'm taking my stress out on him, which is scary and not okay.
My question is twofold, I think. How do I control this, and how to I talk to him about it without being like "sometimes I hate you for no reason because of all these things that are making me crazy"? I have already told him I'm worried about the SAD thing, and he knows I've been stressed, but he doesn't know that I've been getting annoyed at him for no reason. | I've been getting irrationally upset and annoyed with my LDBF because I'm stressed and don't know how to deal with it; what do I do? |
t3_1c9n5q | relationships | [24F]not sure how to handle a situation with [25M] giving sort of mixed signals | we met through mutual friends. we began talking via text and after a while he asked me to hang out. several times. he almost contacted me *too much*. we eventually hung out, and both had a great time, *wink, wink*. the next morning, after parting ways, he messaged me and we talked again for most of that day. we continued to talk every day. we hung out again about a week and a half later, and he told me he likes me. i said the same. we've still been in contact every day, but a bit less. that's fine with me, we don't need to be having lengthy conversations each day.
as of today it's been about a month of being in touch everyday.
i've talked to friends about this, and they all say that he seems to really like me, and sounds so nice. both seem true to me, too. he tells me he wants to hang out, i say that i do too, but it sometimes feels like pulling teeth. without giving too many specifics (he may be a redditor- who knows!) my question is mostly this:
why is he acting so flaky about hanging out? if he talks to me every day, is interested in what i'm doing, etc- what's holding him back? he seems to get excited when *i* ask to hang out but then he'll flake. about a week ago i didn't hear from him until it was very late with reasons why he couldn't get together. last night, we made tentative plans, and then i heard nothing. i don't want to invest anymore time, energy or emotion into this situation if it looks like it could hit a dead end. but, i also see potential, and don't want to give up easily. i'm into him. | boy and i talk everyday. seems to like me. flakes when it comes to hanging out. what should i do? |
t3_dyi1u | relationships | Need some help working out this guy's intentions | EDIT: So I decided to take initiative, I sent this guy a text asking him out on a date - he said yes, so we're going to see a friend of mine perform and have a drink!
Hey dudes and dudettes of reddit. I need some help working out this guy's intentions, we are both in our early 20s and I am female.
We got together about 5 months ago as a couple of musicians just looking to jam and have some musical fun, but recently it has become less about that and more about deep conversation. I now see this guy about twice a week for about 4 hours each time, and instead of music we end up in intense deep and meaningful conversation, we really seem to jive and understand each other. This really confuses me, because I've never had this kind of connection before without it leading to a relationship.
We've also been out a few times together to listen to music and perform - he's always asked me out for more drinks after but it's never gone further than that. Recently I joined a band so naturally I invited him to come along to see them at a gig with me, in which he seemed very eager and happy to come along. Afterwards he invited me out for more drinks at local bars, I went along with it as I thought maybe this was him trying to take things further but we both ended up a bit drunk trying to get home when public transport ceased to work. Touch is the real issue here, I've made contact a few times but it's not really leading anywhere and he's not getting close in that way.
I think it's obvious that he views me as more than a music partner but how much more I don't know. I just wanted to get your thoughts before I cleared things up with him.
Thanks for all your help! | Guy loves to have deep conversations with me, invites me out for more drinks and is happy to be alone with me but doesn't take it further, what are his intentions? |
t3_2yq98b | tifu | TIFU by mailing out naked pictures at work (mildly NSFW) | The actual mailing took place a few weeks back. However, I just found out about it today.
So I work for a company with older clients some of whom don't have email and part of my job is to respond to client questions. A client called in asking me about the history of the caduceus. Not exactly on topic for our company but it was quicker and easier to tell him I would send him info than bother with explaining that is not my job.
So, I googled and printed a few pages on the caduceus. Not caring about the details I didn't read them and just grabbed the pages from the copy room printer, tossed them in an envelope and mailed them.
Today I got a letter from this client calling me 'a sporting woman' and letting me know that I can mail him pictures of naked woman whenever I please.
What? What? What did I mail him? I have no clue. None! Hoping I don't lose my job and no one else finds out.
I went back and looked at what links I think I printed. I cannot find what I could have sent to make him send this. Only thing I can think of is some doofus in my office might have printed naked pictures at work and I grabbed them. | Didn't look at pages I picked up from copy room printer and mailed them to client. Had naked pics in there. Nervous for my job. |
t3_is3v2 | AskReddit | My car was vandalized in a parking lot a few nights ago. I know who did it. Now I need to know where to go from here. | Some backstory:
I left my car in a church parking lot(all but one door lock) on July 13th after getting picked up by a friend. At some point while I was gone, three kids got inside, smoked a blunt, spit all over the inside of the windshield, dashboard, and mirrors, burned my graduation tassel(which hangs from my rear-view), jumped on the roof(caving it in), bent the antenna, scratched the paint, and pissed in the car. A friend of mine said one of them came to her crying about it, and told her all about it. Being one of my closest friends, she relayed the information to me two nights ago under the condition that her name isn't mentioned to the vandals. The church has security cameras, but only one is active due to a recent roof collapse. I don't know if the act was caught on camera, but I was able to use it to bluff one of them into giving up all the information via text. Now I know who they are, exactly what they did, and I have it all documented in texts. After that, another one texted me and apologized for it.
How do I proceed from here? I'm pretty sure I have them dead to rights. I haven't gotten a quote yet, but since the entire top panel needs to be replaced, the exterior detailed, and the interior cleaned, I'm guessing it's several hundred. | Kids fucked up my car, I bluffed them into confessing on record to thousands of dollars in damages, I gained super powers. Now what? |
t3_t16gr | AskReddit | What awful things happened to you that others don't think we that bad? | OK in high school there was this girl I liked that I wanted to ask to our winter formal with the intent of dating her afterward. So I decided to ask her by using this inside joke we had with a teddy bear. So I went to build a bear because (surprisingly) I was having difficulty finding a normal looking teddy bear to ask her. So grudgingly I go to build a bear looking super out of place feeling really awkward just trying to buy a damn bear. So the next school day I wait before classes when we usually talk to ask her, and everyone is asking me "what I have in the bag?" So I show them and every one says good luck and stuff when my "friend" Vince walks up and sees that I was going to ask her out. So later I see him talking on the phone I immediately think he might be calling her, but then I think that's ridiculous and calm myself down. Little did I know she was sick that day. And the next day. And the next. So for three days I sit there in the morning with that bag waiting for her. Then one day I see her at lunch and present her with the bear and everything asking her. WELLLL it turns out he did call her that morning. Leaving me embarrassed in front of all of our friends. And as a bonus didn't tell me that he all ready asked her, leaving me day after day waiting for her and embarrass myself in font of everyone. So when I tell people about this I have no trouble with them believing me, but they do go "well he did ask her first and that's all that matter" Or "you gotta give him props for being quick" that's bullshit he could have told me and not left me to feel the worst rejection of my life!
Any way Reddit what is the worst thing that others don't think was that bad that happened to you? | asked girl to formal. friend asked her before me without telling me. Waited days to ask her. friends didn't think I was quick enough. |
t3_1dp34a | AskReddit | What is the most obviously transparent scam you have ever seen? | Happened just now, I was listening to Nirvana's All Apologies on Youtube when a screen popped up on my laptop saying that it was locked by the FBI until I payed a fine of $300. The reason why I had to pay the fine was child pornography. First of all, I have never done anything even remotely related to filming/producing child pornography on or off the computer. Second of all, if I did partake in that I'm pretty sure the punishment wouldn't just be a $300 fine.
The screen locking me out would only come up when I was logged in and sometimes I could open up the internet or another program before it did. The virus detecting software on my computer detected the virus and asked if I would allow it to run, or terminate it. All I had to do was click terminate and restart the computer, and it was gone. | Some idiots took over my laptop and tried to pose as the FBI, fining me $300 for child pornography I didn't partake in. The amateurs couldn't even get past basic virus detecting software. |
t3_4hgvo0 | relationships | I [21/F] have a semi-estranged sister [32/F] and just found out she's pregnant. | My sister is estranged from my family because of her relationship with my parents. Obviously, there's a pretty big age gap between us. When she was growing up my parents were abusive, neglectful, and honestly too young and emotionally immature to be parents.
They've somehow done better with me. I do question if they should even be parents sometimes and they've caused me a significant amount of pain. Still, I love them and when I visit home I hang out with them a lot. My sister, on the other hand, will not go near either of them and has sworn they'll never see her again (though she still calls them sometimes...).
I'm not mad at her at all. I get it. I'll never know the extent of what they put her through and of the stories she's told me I do believe they're capable of what she's said they've done and I can't fix what happened.
Anyway, I found out that she and her husband are having a baby. This is both wonderful and terrible. On one hand, she and I remain fairly close. She wants us to spend more time together once we can both meet somewhere other than my parents' house (currently a college student) or when I can afford to visit her in her state. I'd love to have a closer relationship with her and even the thought of being an aunt is exciting, but I can't help but cringe when I think about the implications. My parents will never know that grandkid and I don't know if I can really have a relationship with the kid knowing my parents won't. That seems cruel. I have a younger sister who I asked about the situation and she's totally apathetic, and I can't confide in my parents because I don't think they even know about the pregnancy or even how much my sister wants to stay away from them.
What do I do? I love my whole family but I feel like I'd have to pick a side. My parents are almost my whole world but, unfortunately, they won't be here forever. But I don't want to spend what time I have left with them breaking their hearts. But once they're gone what if I have one less sister? | My sister's having a baby but doesn't want my parents around the baby. How can I be a good sister/daughter/aunt? |
t3_35kn8x | relationships | Me [22F] with my friend [22m] friends 6 months, I want to know if cuddling with him would be cheating | so I used to be a serial cheater. a lot of this was because I was a drug addict. I am clean now and have a promising new relationship. However a friend from my old life is coming to town and asked if we could at least cuddle and watch movies even though I'm not single. We always had a thing going but were too far away.
My sense of what's normal and what isn't is rather skewed. My instinct is that cuddling will be cheating, but I feel a bit unsure, since its not as bad as like, kissing. No uhh super intimate contact.
I am really trying to be a better and honest and moral person. Please let me know what y'all think. Thanks! | I used to be really slutty and don't know what is normal, I think cuddling is cheating but need further insight |
t3_25647t | relationships | Me [29F] and my friend [30M] have been hanging out and hooking up. When is it "safe" to inquire about our status? | Ok, so I have been seeing this guy for about 2.5 months. The kicker is we work together in a corporate setting. We don't work on the same team so we only interact socially at the office. We see each other outside of work about 2-3times per week, depending on our schedules.
To give you an idea: We've met each others friends, do day trips, he holds my hand when were out. It's not just a "hey you wanna come over tonight" sort if thing.
Is it reasonable to ask whether we're just hooking up and hanging out, or are we dating? I am afraid to ask because I am worried he'll spook. I don't even know how to bring it up. Help me Reddit, you're my only hope! | Seeing coworker for a couple months. Strong social aspect to our "relationship". Do I ask if we're dating? |
t3_4fs2k0 | relationships | My [22F] partner [23M] tells me depression and anxiety are not real | I have suffered from invalidated and predominantly unmedicated depression and anxiety for over half my life. Partner comes along and after years of hard work manages to make me realise I'm worthy of love, especially my own. He was the only one who has ever been able to support me emotionally while I worked on improving my mental health, and has been there for me on a personal level for about a decade.
In the past few years of our relationship (well past any 'honeymoon phase') we have had constructive conversations about my mental health, where it has been very clear he believed my feelings were legitimate and serious. But in the past year or so it has been a no-go topic for both of us, because every time the topic comes up, I am reduced to tears with no consolation. He thinks that I'm just being a baby, but really I feel upset that he has given up on me. He is pissed off that we fought, and I am left feeling incredibly alone.
What I can gather is that he seems to think that if there isn't a large concrete event that the emotions can be tied to, they can easily be overcome. He also takes self harm seriously, but I have never done any physical self harm, however I do inflict insane amounts of mental self harm on myself.
It feels incredibly invalidating for me to be told, by the person I care most about, that how I feel is not real, is not worthy of attention, that I am a weak, lazy and attention seeking child. I think that his change of tone is due to him feeling that I'm not worth the effort anymore. This is obviously heartbreaking and not at all healthy in a relationship.
If anyone has any advice or good depression or anxiety analogies, comics or graphics, please do share - maybe its my style of explaining that is making it hard for him to understand right now.
If it is him distancing himself emotionally then this will not get better if I don't get better either, so if you have any strategies for me to add to things I'm trying I would greatly appreciate it. | Partner seems to think depression and anxiety are not real, despite having been supportive in the past. Makes me feel like he does not care for me anymore. |
t3_3b31bu | tifu | TIFU by faking a seizure, then getting a real one. | So, this isn't something that happened in one day, and it didn't actually happen today, just like 99.9% of the TIFU's ever written.
So here's the deal, back in high school I had the nickname, "Skuds." Basically, just a shortened version of my last name. Anyway, every time I would act a certain way all my friends would add an extra adjective to my name. Say if I was drunk, I would be referred to as "Drunk Skuds."
So obviously, being a dumbass teenager, one of my favorite nicknames was "epileptic Skuds." For those of you who don't have a brain (like I at the time) I was called this when I would get all fucked up (usually really drunk, usually really high) I would drop on the floor and fake having a seizure. It was actually funny as fuck because whenever our friends who weren't part of our close knit circle would be around and I would start my shake n bake, they would completely freak out and it was just funny as shit.
Enter scene; prom night. My date and I decide to drop some X, ya know, because prom is lame AF, and we wanted to really FEEL the emotion of the atmosphere. Anyway, everything went smoothly during the actual prom itself. Lots of dancing. Lots of "epileptic skuds" happened. Which the teachers (or chaperons or whoever the fuck decides they need to supervise us during prom) did not find funny at all, and I actually ended up getting 3 days of ISS for doing it.
Anyway, after prom, we meet up at my buddy's girlfriends house before we drive up north to have a giant rager at another buddy's lake house. We show up, and suddenly I feel REALLY thirsty. Then the next thing I know I'm in an ambulance on my way to the hospital. | The expression, "Keep making that face and it will get stuck that way" applied to me, but with seizures instead. |
t3_ugfz4 | relationships | Losing a "best" friend... | So my friendship with Anna (22, F) has been pretty tumultuous to say in the least. We used to be really really close and talked/texted all the time. I (24, F) moved away for two years and we kept in close contact.
In recently moved back in October, and I get that people grow distant and move on with their own lives and make new friends, etc etc. BUT. I see this girl like maybe once a month if I'm lucky. I text her fairly often but she never replies.
Now here's where it gets complicated. My sister Karen and I are both subletting an apartment for three months and because of a little off-hand comment I thought she would be moving to another city afterward.
I mentioned this to Anna and she asked if I wanted to live with her. (this is before I ever moved in with my sister) and I foolishly agreed.
Turns out my sister isn't moving and she doesnt wanna get a place with Anna. Anna is..flaky, too hardcore of a partier. I'm not gonna lie, I used to be like that WITH her but not anymore..I just wanna live a straight edge life.
So I told Anna that I can't live with her and explained all the reasons why and she didn't take it very well...I guess we're not friends anymore...but it feels like we haven't been anyway...should I bother trying to mend this relationship? | grew apart, planned a big move in together that didn't work out, she no longer wants anything to do with me. |
t3_3l4sj9 | relationships | My newly live-in boyfriend (34m) doesn't know how to spell my (32f) last name after 13 months??? | My boyfriend and I just moved in together after dating for 13 months. He was signing in to my Netflix and I told him my email address was just my name @ whatever. He tried a couple times and spelled my last name wrong every time. I got pissed off as he said it's not a big deal. A) I think if it's a big deal to me, it's enough to merit a discussion and B) who moves in with someone when you don't even know how to spell their last name!! After over a year together!! For background, we are both professionals and earn a good living. He is very loving and caring and thoughtful in every other way. He said tonight that he hasn't told anyone before but he has issues with letters and numbers and mixes them up a lot (names and. Dates) in his head. I don't know if this is an after-the-fact excuse or what. Also didn't know my middle name. I can't process the idea of moving in with someone and not knowing these things - not googling the person? LinkedIn? We are Facebook friends and that apparently didn't help reinforce it either. | boyfriend of over a year just moved in and still doesn't know how to spell my name. Am I overreacting or is he an idiot? |
t3_381bii | Advice | My friend cheated her driver's ed time, what do I do? | So, in our state, it is required to drive 70 hours with your permit (in addition to having your permit for 6 months) before you can take your driver's test. I am a year older than her, and I've spent my last year trying to slowly get every hour I needed so I could apply for my test. My friend is applying by foraging her time immediately after her 6 months is up, even though she's barely scraped 20 hours. I feel cheated as if all of my work was for nothing, but she really doesn't seem to care because it's not really my business how she gets her license. I could e-mail the DMV and give them a reason to investigate her papers, but I don't know if that would be too out of order. What do I do now? | My friend foraged her driver's ed hours after I had done mine and now I feel cheated. What do I do? |
t3_1idev0 | relationships | How long should I [24M] wait to contact her [20F] again? | I've been seeing a girl for a week and a half and we've gone on 2 dates so far. The first week she was texting me non-stop and on Friday I spent the night at her place and we had sex. She told me she liked me a lot and acted like she did, but she did comment that I was very closed off unless we were drinking together.
I texted her last night to see how she was doing and eventually I was going to see if she wanted to hang out on Wednesday, but I didn't get a response. I feel like texting her again today would give the impression that I'm needy. Am I just overthinking things, or should I wait another day or two to try and get ahold of her? | Girl I've been seeing for a short time suddenly didn't return a text. Should I wait before trying again? |
t3_1hzg0l | AskReddit | What is something your parents won't believe about you even though it is the absolute truth? | Example: My best friend is one of my brother's ex-girlfriends. She is 4 years older than me and is in college and of course parties. My parents have heard rumors of it, but mostly let me hang out with her whenever. Except, they think we drink and smoke weed together, so I am not allowed to hang out with her for excessive amounts of time.
To be clear: I have never smoked weed in my life. I have never drank alcohol without my mom giving it to me. I could if I wanted to, but I like the satisfaction of knowing they are wrong in their assumptions. I am also not against drinking but weed just doesn't sound appealing or worth it, but that's just me and I don't judge people for doing it, as long as they aren't around me. My friend has never been high/drunk around me and we both have talked about how that would never happen. | My best friend is lots older and parties, I don't do any of it but my parents are convinced I do and judge me. |
t3_1ixfqz | Advice | I got in a fight, but lost. However, I fought to the end. | Okay this is a little silly, and I'm only 16...
So I was just playing football with some people and after the play was done, this dude slapped me. I tried going after him, but a friend held me back.
So about an hour later... still playing... we took a break and I asked to slap-box the guy who slapped me. (It was just a slap, I wouldn't actually fight someone over that.)
He agreed, so we slap-boxed, and I took a lot of hits. I ended up tripping backwards and he got on top and kept slapping me til some guys pulled him off. They said we should be done and we were.
Afterwards, I told him "we're good" and he told me "it's cool, good fight." | Challenged a guy to slap box after he unnecessarily slapped me, I lost, but I fought to the end. |
t3_137nw3 | Advice | Do I have to disclose ALL previous employment when applying for jobs/is my reason for doing so good enough? | I'm thinking about taking time off from my education but if I'm going to do that I need to get a full time job fairly quickly. I'd like to get a job that will look good for when I eventually apply to grad school (for speech language pathology), so most likely in the education field and/or working with disabled children. My problem is that I quit a full-time job in education this summer because I couldn't stand the living conditions I was faced with (it was overseas). Do I have to put this job that I only worked a month at on my resume? My thought is that quitting that quickly looks really bad but maybe it'd be worse to leave it off, what do you think? | I quit a full-time job in the field I want to be in after only a month. Can I / Should I leave it off my resume? |
t3_2jnws1 | relationships | If you don't/can't express your feelings for your SO in words, is it acceptable for he/she to ask you to try? Is it insensitive for said SO to even bring it up? Me 26F, him 27M | I am a very wordy person. I really, really appreciate when a dude or gal I am dating longterm is capable of verbally reassuring me of their feelings. But I've also been in plenty of relationships where they haven't been able to, it just wasn't really part of their personalities to express themselves that way.
Ive always felt immature or needy for feeling disappointed inside that they don't. I never brought it up because they were otherwise amazing people and I figured it would be asking too much. We'd break up for completely unrelated reasons.
Im with a guy now who is fantastic. And Im finally considering bringing up this subject as understanding/easily as possible. We've been together for only about 2 years, but I don't want to harbour unnecessary frustration over something so dumb!
How do I approach this? Should I leave it be?? | I am unsure if it is fair/appropriate for me to ask an SO to consider being more verbally expressive of their feelings despite me having already been treated incredibly well in the relationship. |
t3_51ocpi | Advice | [Serious]Woman called where I work saying she's suicidal. | I'm not even sure I should be posting this or anything but I'm really bothered by this call.
I work for an insurance company, me and my coworkers are just security. A woman calls just sobbing, like really crying. At first I thought it was a joke(from one of the other guards)but as time goes on I realize this is serious. She mentions her son died a few months ago and in December she had an accident and can't work. She says she has no money to eat, she could lose her car and her home. Unfortunately the offices are closed and I tried to calm her down before telling her to call back tomorrow. I never had a call like that before and I've been doing this job for over a year. I'm just not sure what to do or what I can do. I got her name and number but I'm almost certain the night guards won't pass her name up the ladder for someone to try and reach her tomorrow. This woman sounded really desperate and I really want to help. What the hell do/can I do? | Woman called offices after hours, I'm a guard and all I could do was tell her to call back tomorrow but she talked having no money for food and she might lose her house and car if she doesn't get help soon. |
t3_1v2hs4 | jobs | I'm being laid off in five months, what now? | Note: Throw away account as I know too many people on reddit.
I found out in late 2013 that my last day is in June of this year. At first I wasn't too worried as, at the time, I had a reasonable amount of time to figure out what to do. Now that we are in the new year, it seems I need to start thinking about my available options.
I'm getting a reasonable retention and severance if I stay until the very end. My ultimate plan is to move to another state and work there. The retention / severance will greatly help with that moving expense. However now I'm having second thoughts.
I never finished college and gained all of my experience with this company, eventually becoming a project manager / coordinator. I am now regretting not finishing college as I don't have much to base my resume on except my experience. My skill set is customer service, specifically a call center environment. We were a vendor for a rather large company in which I'll be attempting to apply to after this is over.
Regardless, I'm posting because I want to know if anyone else has been in this position and how it played out for them. On one hand I was thinking of looking for jobs now and try to get off the ship before it sinks and on the other hand the benefits of staying guarantee a nice package to part ways with. | I'm getting laid off in five months and have yet to decide what to do as the severance / retention package is very appetizing. |
t3_hf7ld | relationship_advice | Earnest Facebook message, yea or nay? | So there was this girl. She's super cute and super sweet, and we'd been making eyes at each other for 6 months or so, but for some reason it just wasn't ever coming together. About a month ago, we saw each other at a party, blacked out and fucked. I didn't even spend the night. The next day, I started dating my current girlfriend.
So here's the thing. I have a reputation as a bit of a man-slut. I guess it's deserved, but I'm totally down to do the bf/gf thing and I've never cheated on anyone in my entire life. Anyway, when I was hooking up with Girl A, she said something along the lines of "I'm not a slut, but I used to be" a couple of times. I reassured her at the time, but given that I didn't spend the night (I left the room to puke, puked and then booked it), I'm sure she thinks that I used her for sex now.
She might even be right, but I don't think so, and I'd like to tell her. She left the state yesterday, so I'll never have a chance to tell her in person, and I'm not trying to have sex with her again. I just want to send her something that basically says "Hey, I actually have an enormous amount of respect for you, and I fucked up big time when we hooked up. I'm not trying to get back with you, but under different circumstances I could have seen myself introducing you to my parents (I WOULDN'T ACTUALLY SAY THIS)."
I know she's not upset with me or anything, and it wasn't particularly weird after we hooked up, but I'd still like to send it to her. I've got nothing to lose, and I think she'd probably like to hear that. On the other hand, this could be creepy as shit. Thoughts? | I fucked a girl and didn't spend the night. Now I want to send her a message saying that I knew at the time that she was too good to just be a piece of meat, but I fucked up royally. |
t3_3tbt2z | legaladvice | Renter's rights with regards to late payments | Hello. I'm posting this on behalf of a friend. We live in Arizona.
My friend and her boyfriend have been renting an apartment together for the last ~6 months, and have never been late on rent. They were both recently between jobs, and because of this, their paychecks were delayed. They both now have steady full time jobs.
At the beginning of this month, my friend told her landlord that she would not be able to pay rent for November until November 25th. The landlord had her sign a promissory agreement (both parties have copies of this) to pay on the 25th, and said that she and her boyfriend would be fine.
A few days ago, my friend was able to scrape together $300, which wasn't the full amount due, however, she got a money order for it and went into the office in an attempt to give it to her landlord, so that she would not have as much to pay on the 25th. The landlord refused to take the money order.
My friend came home yesterday to find a notice on her door that there's been a court date set up for Monday, the 23rd. Her and her boyfriend asked the landlord why this was so, due to the fact that they'd already signed a promissory agreement to pay the rent on the 25th. Their landlord just told them "sorry", and that if they were able to pay before the court date, they would not have to go to court.
My friend is wondering what her rights are with regards to this, given that the landlord seems to be disregarding the agreement that was signed. I will be able to lend her $500 so that she can pay rent before the court date, however, she's still worried about the possibility of getting an eviction, or a bad mark on her credit. Also, she's wondering if she should still go to court even once the late rent is paid, to plead her case. | Friend has been summoned to court on November 23rd for unpaid rent, even though she signed an agreement with her landlord to pay the rent on November 25th. |
t3_4ghcgy | self | I am slowly killing myself through bad habits I continue to fail to change. | I am an average female with no self control.
I am addicted to the internet. After I started college my entire existence has been sitting down. I sleep, wake up and drive 30 minutes to school, sit in class for three hours, drive 30 minutes home, and am then on the internet from 1 pm to 12 am. I go to bed when I can't see anything.
I have tried to change my lifestyle. I tried going running before school, but it is too dark then. I tried running when I got home from school, but by that time something keeps getting in the way. I tried changing my diet, but I still mainly eat candy, I am worried I am going to get diabetes or something.
I feel myself getting weaker and weaker. I can't even do a squat anymore without shaking. I am destroying my body, my eyes, and most importantly my fucking brain. And why? WHY do I keep doing this shit? I actually have a life. I have a boyfriend, best friends, pets... but, I brush them all away to be alone on the computer.
I tried deleting my facebook which worked for 20 days, but then the majority of my time went to other websites like reddit and Wordpress. I don't want to delete my reddit and wordpress accounts, but I feel like that is what I have to do to get back on track. | No self control. Is on the internet too much. Getting weaker. Doesn't know how to keep self in check. |
t3_47q8tq | tifu | Tifu by letting a woman into my apartment | Ongoing fuck up..I've known this woman for awhile now. She was really there for me last summer when my fiancée left me, but i wound up not wanting to take things further with her for one reason or another. About a month ago we swipe each other on tinder, and start to talk and fool around. She mentioned in passing how her and her son were going to be moving into my neighborhood in march; right across the street. I kinda brushed that off in my head and didn't think much of it except oh cool if things get serious we'll be pretty close. Why i thought that was a good thing,idk. But, cue the fuck up:
I work until 9 most nights. She wanted to come over and fool around a bit, as her mother was watching her son. She asks if i can let her into my apartment. Because I'm a fucking moron, i agree to do so and I DONT LET HER IN, I GIVE HER MY KEY. I get home and everything is chill, we fool around, but eventually i try to drop hints that I'd like her to go home, telling her I'm thinking of going to grab whataburger really quick. She tries to stay there while i go. Eventually she gets annoyed with me and says I'm being a dick, i walk her to her car where we talk for a few min, and then she goes home. Wake up today, and idk if its instinct or the fact that ive been living alone the past year, but something feels off. Toilet paper roll is hitting the ground, soap in the shower isnt where i left it, my towels are both wet, etc. I'm kinda freakin out because at this point its obvious she got REALLY comfortable in my apartment, and god knows if she's loony enough to go make a key of my apartment key. | let a woman hold onto the key to my apartment, now living in paranoia of unwanted visitor. Thank god for intruder alarms. |
t3_3amv7b | relationships | My girlfriend[24] of 2 years flirted with a guy in text, don't know if I [30/M] should be worried | Sorry, if it's a bit too long, I've never been in a situation like this, any advice would be appreciated.
So, my girlfriend and I just moved in together and curiosity took the better of me and I read her text messages. I found out that she had a dream about an old friend of his about 5 months ago, and she contacted him. They flirted a little bit in text, and that's it.
Then she discussed it with another friend of hers and she decided not to text him again.
Now, about 3-4 weeks ago, while my girlfriend and I were on holiday, this guy contacted her and they flirted a little bit again, nothing serious though. Btw, I don't think he knew we were on holiday, he might not even know about me, as far as I know this is the only contact they had in 6 months. I think they might have had a thing for each other even before I met her but I think that nothing happened between them.
This guys lives in another town, and we moved to yet another town. I moved here 2 weeks ago, and my girlfriend just came after me.
The first weekend my girlfriend was alone, they chatted again, flirting got a bit more serious, nothing explicit though. The guy said that the week after he would be in the same town as my girlfriend so they agreed to meet.
My girlfriend discussed this again with her other friend, she told her that they would meet, but nothing could happen between them.
Then the day came when they were supposed to meet, they were both out partying separately, but they did not meet in the end.
So, this is where we are now and I'm not sure what to do. I feel bad for reading her messages but I also feel bad that she's flirting with another guy. Is this something I should be worried about or is this just some meaningless flirting. Should I talk to her about it? They are probably not gonna see each other for quite a while, but I don't like the thought that she's thinking about another guy. | My girlfriend flirted with another guy in text messages, they were supposed to meet, but they didn't in the end, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1xl7oo | relationships | I (20m) am confused by the actions of my very close friend (22f) | Recently, about 4 weeks ago, my female friend ended her relationship of six years. We work together, and so when I found out about the break-up, I was there to comfort her in the workplace. (We were already pretty good friends).
Since then, we have talked at every opportunity we could. She has told me she has feelings for me, and I have said the same. In the last 4 weeks,she has said she doesn't want another relationship yet, although we have kissed, and she, within the last two days has said she loves me.
I am confused, she doesn't want a relationship, but is willing to kiss me, and in her words, loves me.
Could this be only because I was comforting her straight after the break up? How could this affect our relationship in the future if she doesn't want one now? | female friend is just out of relationship, doesn't want another one but has confessed her 'love' for me. Why? |
t3_3c13uj | relationships | Me [19 M], did I cheat on my girlfriend with Omegle? | She's been out of town on a family trip for almost two weeks, and I have been very horny. Today I got carried away, went on Omegle and sexted (just text, no pics or video) with a girl for less than 5 minutes before I realized how wrong what I was doing was. At the time I viewed it no differently than watching porn, which she is okay with, but then I thought about it and googled it and all seem to say it is indeed cheating.
I would never cheat on my girlfriend or sext someone I knew or anything like that. I've told my girlfriend and she said it wasn't a big deal and she forgives me but I still feel incredibly guilty, am I right to feel like I cheated on her? She means everything to me and I feel like I've betrayed her...Am I overreacting? | I sexted a stranger on Omegle for 5 minutes, did I cheat on my girlfriend? And should I feel guilty even though I told her and she forgives me? |
t3_f2w14 | relationships | How do I get my gf to open up to me? | I'm 21 and shes 20. We've both had prior relationships each spanning approximately 2 years. We've been dating on an off for the past year, only now getting serious about our relationship. The major problem I have with her is her lack of communication with me and by that I mean her lack of opening up emotionally to me. I understand that you need to give trust to gain trust and I am completely open with her about myself but she just refuses to let me in. We've talked about the problem a lot but she just seems to be content with not letting me in. I found out that a few days ago she spent hours venting to her best friend about all sorts of problems in her life, many of which i had no idea about. She also has a diary she uses to vent her emotions into but I still want to be someone she trusts to talk to. I have been attempting to break down her walls but nothing seems to work. Any advise you can offer? | gf has a hard time opening up her emotions to me and I would like advise on how to break down her walls |
t3_1uarpw | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [26 F] 1 year 1/2 can't seem to talk calmly about difficult subjects | Hi /r/elationships!
I have a girlfriend that I love very much and I see myself on the long term with her but I have the major problem that we can't seem to talk about difficult things in life ( examples will follow).
We come from a relationship where we rushed a lot of things and did a lot of arguing. We still argue quite often and communication can be difficult at times.
Whenever I try to bring up a topic that is difficult for her to hear she flips out and think I'm aggressive and mean. For example lately I believe she has changed a lot: she has become a lot more cynical about things in general, particularly her (very good) job and her chances of going full time. From what she tells me her motivation and performance are down which indeed hurts her chances to move to full time.
I tried to talk about this subject and her general well being but she became very angry and told me that I'm not her parents and to leave her alone. I tried to explain that despite not being her dad I still care about her very much and since we share a life together her happiness and well being is very important to me.
I personally believe that she is going through a phase where she is suffering but I might be reading too much into it. When we first began dating I helped her through a lot by finding her a good job and provided for her so I think that my opinion and advice are not completely bad.
What's your opinion on the matter? How can I bring up these subjects? How to tell if a woman is suffering?
Should I just stay on the side and see her go on a dark path? What's your experience with experiences like that?
Thank you for your comments | Girlfriend because very angry and aggressive when we talk about our/her life what can I do to make communication better? |
t3_25d07a | relationships | I [28/F] have feelings for online friend [33/M] | I'll keep it short and sweet: basically, I met a guy online (via Twitter) about nine months ago. I had just moved abroad and I was tweeting about my difficultly adjusting. He reached out to me personally and offered some words of wisdom based on his on expat experience. We became friends after that.
I was "dating" someone else at the time, so although I considered him a friend, our interactions were limited. Guy and I didn't work out; friend was there for me while I got over my heartbreak. And we really bonded after then. We started talking more over GChat, we did Google Hangout video chats, started talking on the phone.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that I just might like this dude and have feelings for him. But I'm scared because I've been in a situation like this before and it crumbled. I don't want that to be the outcome this time. This guy is really special. I head back to the States next month and we've planned to meet for the first time.
How do I keep my head on straight and my emotions from going haywire leading up to this meeting and (the possible fallout) after? Anyone ever been through something like this before? | I've developed a crush on an online friend over the past nine months. We will meet soon and I need advice on how to compartmentalize it all. |
t3_iaxeb | AskReddit | What should I do reddit? Friend is skrewing both of us both over, should I testify against him to save myself from the situation he dragged me into? | He was hired to do a duct work job and in turn he hired me as a helper. He knew what he was doing and I knew very little. I was simply there to run tools and hold ducts in place while he secured them, etc. He was the real brain behind the job. Well, he decided the half ass the last part of the job by not properly connecting the last couple of ducts that ran directly to the AC unit. I wasnt aware that the job wasnt properly done because I didnt really know what was going on anyway, and I couldnt see the last couple of ducts, as I was on the opposite side of the house already crawling out as he was working on them. Well, 2 days ago, I get a call from his boss explaining what was up and how he had picture proof of all the unconnected ducts and blah blah and the man who wanted the job done is going to sue my friend and his boss if we dont go back and properly secure them. I want to go out there and do it, my friend doesnt want to mess with it. So if my friend doesnt go out there, they get sued and I have to testify since im a witness. If he would just go out there and do it, everything will be fine. But he wont, and I really dont want to testify against him. But at the same time, he dragged me into alot of bullshit because of his fuck up and he wont even bother to fix it. so hes screwing me over too. What do I do? do I testify against him? do i go up there alone and try my best to fix whatever is wrong? what do I do? Im 16, and uncertified in this line of work, it was all under the table. | Friend botched a job, wont bother to fix it, so hes getting me dragged into a lawsuit that I dont deserve to be in that can easily be avoided if we just went and fixed it. not sure what to do. |
t3_po0mc | AskReddit | Need a Quote for the Wall at Work | I was recently hired to field calls at the University I attend. It seems like it's an interesting job, is in walking distance, and pays good money compared to other campus jobs.
I was recently sent an email by my supervisor saying they needed a nice picture of me with a quote to go along with it. This picture quote combo would then be stapled to a bulletin board along with all the other employees' pics/quotes from this particular department.
This is where I request help from you, reddit.
My original idea was, once I got my student loan refund, to withdrawal all the money I'd need for bills and rent (since I'm three months behind on all those things, the total should come out to be around $2,500), lay it on my bed, then lie down in the money while wearing my Fur-lined hoodie parka and multiple chains (baller style and all that). The quote I was going to use was, "Burglar bars around the door (word), my country boys they need some more (birds), early in the morning, later in the evening, I'm all about that money man, even when I'm sleeping".
The picture idea can't happen because financial aid fucked me really hard this semester through their own gross negligence, and I won't be receiving my check until sometime next week. My quote was deemed inappropriate when I asked my old supervisor if he thought it'd be OK and he's a real laid back guy (one of the lifeguards we worked with was allowed to use "'When it's time to eat a meal, I rob and steal' - Notorious BIG", so this new job definitely wouldn't be cool with it
Reddit, I need your help thinking of a creative, sly, witty quote for this work-bulletin board thing.
If you have any ideas I can use for a ridiculous picture than I can take within the next 6 hours I'd appreciate that too.
Thanks in advance, can't wait to see how creative the hive-mind can be. | Work needs a picture of me and a quote beneath it. I don't want mine to be lame and boring like all the other automatons who work there. I want mine to pop and be awesome. |
t3_1xln4m | relationship_advice | [25/m] gf [23/f] brought up idea of an open relationship | Obvious throwaway...
Anyway, here's the deal: My gf (22) brought up the idea of having an open relationships. She wants to "explore sex" i.e having 3somes, and sex with other men and women. I am free to do the same, obviously, if this were to become a thing. I'm kind of blown away by this because she was a lot more conservative when we met. She was actually a virgin and we have been together 3.5 years in a long distance relationship (different schools, 3 hours apart).
I understand her curiosity, often I feel the same way wondering what it would be like to have sex with other women. I'm not interested in exploring gay sex, but I'm not against her doing the same (if this were to become a thing). However I feel like if this were to be explored it would be the end of our relationship. She seems to be fine with the idea of me having sex with other women, and even considers it a turn on. But when I think of her having sex with other men I just don't think I would like it. I can accept the idea of a 3some much easier than casual sex with others solo, because at least then we would be doing it together.
I should also note that our sex is good for both of us. We are both able to orgasm so this isn't because I'm unable to please her in that sense, but as long as she has only been with me there will always be that curiosity in her head. She also says that if I decided against it she would forget about it because she values our relationship more than her sexual curiosity.
I don't know if I need to get over this apparent alpha-male attitude of other men having sex with my gf, or if my feelings are natural... Looking for advice from anyone, but if you've been in or are in a successful open relationship I'd love to hear from you | Gf proposed open relationship. Not sure if I'm comfortable with it, and not sure what guidelines to follow to make it work if we did decide to try it. |
t3_ah2yo | AskReddit | I need some laptop advice. | Hey guys, need more than advice really; I know absolutely nothing about computers or laptops or..anything really. My birthday is just after Christmas and my Mum and Dad have offered to buy me a laptop as a joint present for both so I'm really excited! However, I haven't got a clue what make or brand or whatever I should get? I have no idea what the budget it is as I don't really like to ask. I use the computer mainly for messaging and doing college work and editing my pictures (I take a lot of photo's) so I don't need anything that's like...amazing at running games or anything. But a relatively big memory / harddrive thingy would be nice :) I filled up the last one.
So, any genuine helpful suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks! | My parents are buying me a new laptop but I don't know anything about them so don't know which make to buy. Suggestions would be appreciated! |
t3_50t465 | relationships | Me [26M] dumped by my ex [25F]. She's now back with her ex. They were talking whilst we were together, do I have the right to be furious/feel betrayed? My judgement is clouded. | Hi guys, I've had a lot of issues with this break up, it was 10 months ago and I'm still struggling big time, but there's been a piece of big news I found out today and I want some outsiders opinions on it.
On a few occasions whilst I was with my ex I found out she was still talking to her ex, nothing straight up implying she was cheating and I don't believe she did but there was definitely a flirty tone to some of the messages. After I found out we had a big fight about all of it and in the end she convinced me to let it go and assured me it was all friendly.
Today I just found out she's back with that ex, I have no idea how long they've been together for, could be quite recent, could be a long way back, maybe even right after we broke up. My simple question is, would you be furious and feel betrayed or am I overreacting? We have a lot of mutual friends so I WILL see her, it isn't something I can completely ignore, I have to I guess make up my mind about how I react to this. I'm also hoping this can finally make me move on. This whole mess has scrambled my brain so my judgement really isn't what it should be so whatever emotion I'm feeling I doubt myself. | My ex got back with her ex who she was talking to when we were together and assured me it was solely friendly. Would you be furious? My judgement is clouded. |
t3_27lvqg | relationships | Where do I go from here? (21, M) | So I've been single for 8 months now. Before that, I was with a girl whom I loved very much. We met in high school, and stayed together for 3.5 years into college. Feel free to stalk my post history if you want to know why we broke up, as it's a bit of a long story. Just know it was mostly mutual.
I don't seem to be able to move past her. I've been on many dates, some of which have gone further than just a date, but I'm still left with an empty feeling inside. I find myself thinking about my ex on a regular basis. The weird part is it's not upsetting really. I remember the happy times (sometimes even smile or laugh), and I remember the bad times.
After being apart for a while, once the dust had settled, I started seeing some things I should have done differently. Sometimes I wish we could have a second chance, but fire the most part, I'm just..I guess nostalgic? I'm not sure.
I recently browsed her Facebook page, and didn't find myself getting upset or anything. Oddly, I was kind of happy (several pictures of her looking like she was having fun with friends), and did find myself wondering what it would be like if we were still together.
I guess I'm adding for advice, opinions, anything really. I miss the companionship of such a wonderful relationship *so badly*, but every time I go on a date, I really feel like I need to be single for quite a while longer. | 8 months broken up, been dating, still miss ex but in a weird way, can't make new connections but greatly miss the companionship. |
t3_35qtxh | relationship_advice | I [18m] have no idea what [18f] is doing. | So it's the last two/three weeks before I head off for college, and finally I have a woman interested in me. Which is great, except I really don't know what's going on. Let's call her Emily. I've heard from our mutual friends and such that she's interested in me. So on Saturday I went to a birthday party for another friend and ended up going to an afterparty at Emily's house, which in turn led to a bit of drinking and me having to crash there. Everyone else left around 12:00, but me and Emily stayed up to 2:30 cuddling on the couch. Neither of us made a move, and we had a really awkward talk about her not knowing what she wants/leaving for college soon/never had a boyfriend/just wants to lay in bed alone and play her 3DS while eating Doritos. Which I understand, because I am the same way. We're going to separate colleges. I thought the cuddling would be awkward but it was actually pretty great, and Emily seemed to like it as well. We've talked since, but we haven't talked about it, and it's really bugging me. | Ended up spending the night at a girl's house, had almost three hours of some really hardcore cuddling, and then went to bed. Idk what she wants. |
t3_15maji | relationships | How should I [20M] go about breaking up with my girlfriend[20F] when everything in the relationship seems to be going well? | Me and my girlfriend have only been dating for about 2 and half to 3 months (I know that's short but things have moved along much faster than I expected). Everything would appear, to her I imagine, to be going very well. I can tell that she really likes me, she expresses it quite clearly and sincerely. Sex is great, we spend a good amount of time together, we get along with each others friends, and we have never had any conflict.
Thing is, I can't stand her anymore.
She is pretty sorority-girly, and at first I thought she was cool deep down and that was just the surface. I was wrong, as there is no deep down with her. She is shallow as fuck and has gotten incredibly annoying. She has no depth and is just a pop culture sponge offering no intellectual stimulation, but god do we have wonderful sex.
I've never broken up with a girl before. I know this sounds terrible, but when I want to end it with a girl I usually just start blowing her off and drinking a lot until she breaks up with me. It's actually worked out every time. I don't want to have to explain my reasons for breaking up with her and subsequently insult her (she may be dumb but she's still a decent person). I don't really want to blindside her with it, but I definitely don't want to do what I've done before and just make a break up inevitable by being really emotionally distant.
Maybe I should add that I have been affectionate towards her even after I realized I wanted to end it because when I get nervous with a SO I just react with affection, so she would have no idea of my disdain for her. Also we're on break in different places so I haven't seen her for like 12 days and it has made me much more aware of how much I don't want to continue this relationship.
Any advice? | I realized I can't stand the girl I'm with but I'm not sure how to tell her I want to break up since she probably sees no problems with the relationship. |
t3_1x0wr4 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF [20 F] of 4.5 months are hitting turbulent times post abortion. Don't know how to approach relationship! | We were an inseparable couple that excelled in communicating and having fun at home or out with friends. Lately, a week after an abortion I've never been so confused or lost.
I know I can never relate or understand what she's had to go through so I try my best to stay caring and provide comfort with a sense of security that I'm truly there for her.
It only has seemed to drive her further away, we rarely spend time with each other unless I'm letting her sleep in and grabbing her things to make her feel better. Water, advil, ice/heated packs. I'm in a tight financial situation so flowers and romantic gifts were unfortunately out of the picture. She really enjoys gifts and I'm trying to stay creative for ways to let her know I'm there without smothering her through physical affection | I don't know how to approach my relationship after an abortion, can't accurately gauge her anymore, have troubling talking to her about how she feels and what I can do to help her and help our deteriorating relationship |
t3_34knqp | relationships | Discussing starting a relationship with my [24M] long-distance love interest [25F]. | I have a really great thing going on with a girl I've been crushing on since November. She's "fallen in love with me" and I'm head over heels for her.
The problem is that every time I talk to her about "us" she repeats the same thing: That she doesn't feel like she knows me well enough yet and I'm too important to her to risk losing via a breakup.
Is this a "letting me down gently" thing or can anyone see where she's coming from? It's not annoying me or anything, I respect what she's saying and I'm pretty sure she's being genuine, but is there something I'm supposed to do here or just wait and hope that she "comes around"? | Girl considers me too important to risk losing via a breakup. I'm in love with her and want more than friends. What to do? |
t3_3bhum7 | tifu | TIFU by bursting my tyre at my driving exam | I've been driving for 12+ years with my license from back home. But in the UK, my license is untransferable and I had to take the exam. Well, I've been practising for a few months in the 'wrong side' of the road and this morning was my exam.
My instructor was a cool Londoner geezer, but he kept saying out loud whenever I had a minor fault. I was really nervous. I started to get even more nervous, but it was going ok-ish. Then he asked me to park on the left, just behind a BMW.
I did, but misjudged the space (driving on the 'wrong side' of the road, I'm still getting used to it) and SMASHED the tyre onto the kerb. Then I heard a very loud pffffffff noise. Not only I failed miserably, but the tyre was flat in 5 seconds. We were in the middle of nowhere, my instructor had to walk back 20 minutes to the driving centre (he was not happy) and I had to wait for my OH to pick me up. We left the car there, as we didn't have time to change the tyre. OH was pissed off, but didn't say anything because I was so embarrassed.
In 10 days I have to go back and take it again. I hope it's not the same guy. | I have lots of experience driving, but not on the English side of the road. Misjudged space, burst tyre, instructor had to walk 20 minutes back to driving centre. |
t3_30bjmj | dating_advice | Does being a bad communicator mean he's [33M] not into me [25F]? | Reddit,
I'm at a loss. I went on an awesome 1st date with this guy last Friday. We didn't know much about each other but then seemed to totally hit it off! He kept saying he had such a great time and was really looking forward to seeing me again. I thought, "Wow! Great. So glad he's up front about that." So far we seem to want the same things and we really jive.
He happened to mention on the date that he's not a very good texter. Something that I had discovered while setting up date # 1. By that I mean severe lag time between messages: 8+ hours or even 1 day later responses. He walks me to my car after the date, he says he wants to see me again, we kiss, and I go home. The next day I send a "Good Morning" text and he replies late afternoon that his day was going well.
Then nothing until Monday. I get a text, "Hey! How's your day?". I reply, get a text from him hours later saying his was great. Finally, 4 days after our date (Tuesday) I just text him and ask him out again in the afternoon. He replies pretty late in the evening and wants to go out the following night (tonight). I try to play it cool and say, "sure, that could work, just have to shuffle some things around," to which HE then replies he might have to do something right after work, so can we "pencil it in" and he'll let me know "early tomorrow"?
Long story short, early tomorrow has come and gone and I never heard from him. Thoughts? Suggestions?
This is why dating confuses me :-/ | Guy suggests day for second date, I accept. Then says he might not be free, doesn't ever text me to let me know. |
t3_3ou94h | legaladvice | early access to a trust fund/ inheritances UK | so about 7/8 years ago a member of my family died on m y grandmothers side, i am not sure of what relation he is to me but over my child hood i did see him and i did have a good relationship with him.
when he passed away he left me a portion of his assets, but under his will the unlock timeline crazy, in short this is it so hold on:
the interest from the fund goes to my grandmother etc, if they die it gose to my mum and uncle.
at age 25 i start to get some of the interest with the bulk still going to my grandmother or mum.
every 10 years my share goes up and theirs down.
at the age of 45 the full amount unlocks to me alone.
the issues is we have zero say over where it is invested, how under uk law can we unlocked the full amount now or how can we gain control over how its invested as the bank now dose that and its had issues in the past with poor investment. | how can i get control of the funding when i don't get the full amount until im 45, even if my family have it in holding tilli come of age i don't care we just want control |
t3_4qgkj2 | relationships | Me (21 M) and my girlfriend (21 F) just broke up, I need advice about life | So my girlfriend and I of a year and a half just broke up. We had been fighting all the time for the last month or two and we had one bad experience where I got black out drunk and said some things and held her too aggressively which started the final spiral downwards.
We had this one talk a week ago that just made something click in my mind and suddenly I just wanted to be better for her but I fear it was too little too late. The last week had been amazing though, we were happy, laughing, not fighting, it was us a year ago and it was awesome.
Then comes Monday and we have a talk of how she thinks we should break up but she still loves and and she wants to break up due to her believing we just want different things from life but I disagree, and I'm not sure what to do. I love her madly. She's my first real long term relationship and my first real love. I will do anything for this girl. Any advice on what to do, I'm not asking on how to get her back just in general what to do. I feel miserable right now and everything just seems to be falling apart. She was the glue that held me together and I don't know what to do. | girlfriend and I of 1 1/2 years broke up, was my first love, need advice on how to move on |
t3_2sf97y | relationships | Tell me the truth... | I (f/22) have had quite a few past discretions with my current fiance (m/24). Been together for two years, engaged for one. If you want to know what I mean, just look at my last post here on relationships.
Well, as of right now we are having a, rather intriguing discussion. I simply said, that whenever he is home, his phone is 100% in his hands or pocket. He never lays it down on the counter, or the couch, or table...always in his hands or pocket. He never lets me touch it either, and if he does, it's usually a bitch fit.
So, then (as usual) he takes to his Facebook. He posted "where do u usually keep ur phone?" And it went all Shit from there. His friends that know of his past incidences, asked him "is she being crazy again?" Or "oh my god I am so sick of hearing you and her fighting". And I end quote.
Not far from that I received a few messages of his friends asking what I did and why I was being so Damn conspicuous, mostly taking his side.
Now, I feel that he has turned all his friends and his family against me. I feel like they all hate being around me and hate ME in general... Am I being crazy? Am I just brig paranoid and stupid?
Lord help me. | Whatever-he-is and I had an argument and posted it all over Facebook. His friends proceed to take his side and now I feel alienated from his friends and family. Am I being crazy or what? |
t3_1vfapz | relationships | Today I found out my wife [23 F] cheated on me [31 M]. We have a 2 yrs old daughter. | I've always been a private person. I don't know how much details I'm going to put here to a bunch of strangers but I'm so lost and hurt right now I just need to read some comments. Things haven't been great the last 3 months but I never thought it would go down the road of cheating. The cheating has been going on for 2 weeks or so. I confronted her and she admitted without a single remorse or feeling bad of our daughter's future. I went home early from work to confront her and she packed and left. I stayed with my daughter all day today and it was tough. I cries a lot. She has no idea. I told her I love her all day. I told her I'll be there for her. I don't know what the future for her is going to be. I'm the provider I have a house and a good job. My ex works for her family for pennies and moved back to her mother's house. I just dropped my daughter off but my ex wasn't even there. I dropped her off and came out to bring some stuffs for her in. Then I just left without saying good bye to my daughter. We always make her do a traditional good bye with kisses and hugs whenever she leaves. I drove for 5 miles and realized I didn't say bye so I drove back and just hug her. It was hard and I couldn't stop crying from there all the way home. I always thought this kind of thing happen to other people but never to me. I've been ranting. Thanks for whoever read the whole thing. I'm going to take a day off tomorrow to hang out with a friend. | Confronted the wife on cheating today and she left without a single remorse. Worst day ever trying to say good bye to my daughter. |
t3_38hato | relationships | Me [27 M] with my fiance [28 F] she's pregnant but things have gone downhill since | Since she fell pregnant, we have been bickering constantly, and I have been (unfairly, I know), feeling a major lack of attention to my needs. When verbalized, she gets incredibly aggressive and refuses to acknowledge she's doing anything wrong.
I want her to know I support her no matter what. I get the feeling that she is somewhat regretting the pregnancy but may be scared to tell me. How do I initiate a conversation where I make it known to her that if she wants to terminate, I would support her decision? Obviously it would be a very delicate topic so don't want it to turn into a fight, I just want whats best for her. | We have been fighting loads and I feel she is regretting the pregnancy. How can I tell her I support whatever she does even if she wants to terminate? |
t3_45yptd | relationships | Me [30 F] with my Boyfriend [29 M] 8 months, he is unable/unwilling to travel at my pace | Travel is my passion while it's something my boyfriend has a mild interest in. He does not have the time, $, or interest that I have as far as travel and seems to require convincing. It's frustrating for me because it's important to me to have a partner that can share adventures with me, but I have a partner who seems to prefer adventure at home. I wish we shared a passion for travel because I always have a great time with him, but maybe we will have to find another interest to share. I believe life is short and travel is my priority while I'm young, able-bodied, and child-free and I would love to experience new places together. | Should I be more patient and understanding with his schedule, responsibilities, and preferences and travel solo or is this a relationship that prevents me from realizing my dreams. Anyone in a relationship similar to this? |
t3_4ej10a | relationships | I [19/M] am debating telling my friends [18-21 M/F] that I got diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - should I tell them? If so, how? | I'm 19 y/o sophomore in college, and I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder a month ago. I started mood stabilizers last week.
The past few weeks have been fairly stressful for me for a number of reasons, (diagnosis of a mental illness, going on meds for the first time ever, fearful for the future and my career, individual/group therapy's very time consuming, etc.) but I really don't like keeping this all hidden from my friends and family.
I want to tell my friends because I think it'd be a big comfort to have their support (we're all extremely supportive of one another when we hit problems - I know they'd want to help me in any way they could), but I also don't want to drag them down in my problems. I also don't want them to turn this into a bigger deal than it is; I'm managing fine at the moment (Dean's list every semester, active social life, etc.)
So, Reddit, should I tell my friends? If so, how should I tell them so that I can get their support, but without them freaking out over me?
Sorry for the long post, and thanks for reading. | Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, started treatment, been stressed out since diagnosis, want to tell my friends, but I don't want them to panic over me. Should I tell them? If so, how? |
t3_2708ku | relationships | Me [28 F] no longer with my boyfriend [28 M] of almost 10 years - need help moving on | Broke up with my long-time boyfriend (since before college) several months ago. He clearly was not feeling it and we grew somewhat distance a few months before I broke it off. Things continued here and there a while after; we saw each other probably once a week but nothing sexual really. Relationship ended in February; I officially moved out in mid April but had not actually been living there since the breakup.
Several weeks ago we were both lonely on a weekend night and ended up going out & drinking together which ended up with me at his place and us sleeping together, leading to an emotional breakdown. He comforted me. Made me feel ok again. I knew it was a bad idea.
Saw him a few days ago and it was strange; he was distant and hiding his phone from me. Come to find out he is already kind of seeing a girl somewhat regularly which started around the time I hung out with him last a few weeks ago. I'm not angry, hurt a little but that is normal; we are no longer together and I cannot expect him to not be dating.
I have been on a few dates myself but they've left me feeling empty and just thinking about him. My ex said his feelings weren't really there anymore at all, and guess they weren't as strong when we broke up, and that he is totally ok with being friends. I on the other hand, cannot; my feelings haven't changed much and are still very strong. I know it has only been about 3 months, but I haven't tried dating too much, just hanging out and going out with friends and a few casual dates here and there that have bored me. I cut off communication with him. How can I help myself mentally and emotionally to move on and start dating again? I don't feel ready, but I'm tired of thinking about him and wanting him. My hobbies help, but nothing can really take my mind off of him right now and I really want & need to move on... | Need help getting over ex of about 10 years; broke up in February of this year. He has already moved on but I cannot seem to. Any advice is appreciated :) |
t3_ess21 | AskReddit | I just went on a date with my best friend's sister. I need some advice. | So like the title says, last night I went on a date with my best friend's sister and I'm really conflicted about it. I think she's great, but naturally, I have some serious reservations. We decided not to tell anyone, so at the moment there is no pressure from the family. Oh, and I made out with her for a while at the end of the night. Here are my issues.
1) She wants to do something for new years, and I'm not sure I'm ready to reveal the fact that we have gone out.
2) She's a little over weight, not fat though. I hope I am not that shallow, but I find myself wondering.
3) The very last thing I would ever want to do is hurt her in any way, and I've never been the best boyfriend (I don't cheat or anything, I just have a tendency to sorta go incommunicado on occasion for days at a time.).
4) If I F this up, it could damage my friendship with my friend's family. | I went out with my best friend's sister. I'm concerned that I'll get hung up on her weight, hurt her feelings, and create an awkward situation at my friend's house if it doesn't work out. |
t3_4st8c2 | relationships | My [25M] best friend [25M] is the vet that put my girlfriends [24F] dog down and now my girlfriend wants me to stop talking to him | As the title states my girlfriend had to put down her dog a couple of months ago. It was really sudden and he was still quite young so we weren't at all prepared for it. He was her dog but we've been together for two years and living together for one so it was hard on me too. We took him to the only emergency animal hospital in our town that's open 24/7 which is where my best friend happens to work. He was the vet that ended up helping us. We ran all kinds of tests and tried a few things to help him but ultimately put him down that night. As much as the situation sucked, I think my friend was excellent at handling everything and my girlfriend didn't seem to have any issues with him.
For the past two months she has expressed that she thinks her dog wasn't actually sick and our friend just ran all of those tests and put him down so he could make money. I tried to be sympathetic at first but now she's straight up insulting my friend and wants me to stop hanging out with him. My buddies and I have baseball season tickets (she has one too) and every time I go she asks if the "dog murderer" is going to be there and if he's going she won't come. She whines every time I get to get together with my friends too if he's going to be there.
Can you guys think of anything I can do to get this to stop? I think it's really disrespectful and I'm probably going to break up with her if it continues. | my friend is the vet that put down our dog and my girlfriend thinks he ran all these tests and put him down just to make money. |
t3_4ku9jx | relationships | Me [19 M] with my friend [23 F] were at a party and we danced | a little back up story first. there is a girl on my town that i wanted to met so i sent a message on instagram saying hello , she replied and we talked and i asked her out (in that time i had kinda a relationship with another girl but no so serious) she said yes so we went had a few drinks and we didn't do anything else because she inside knew what was going on but she acted like she didn't know to see how far i went.
she went to another country to keep going her studies and she came in again to my country 1 month ago , we didn't talk much in that time , and the last weekend we went to a party and we danced like really sexy , i know i won't have nothing serious because she will leave again in 1 month so i just want to know if i could have at least the chance to kiss her , or it just was a party thing and should not ask her to go out (even if she on the party asked me if i still talk to other girls , she looked really interested on me, and im not dating no one i dont want to make the same mistake) (**sorry for bad english is not my main language** )
if you want to know about her personality , she is really direct , if she doesn't want or like something she tell it right away(also she have been through a lot of things with men , so she acts like she knows everything about guys | dated a girl , then she knew i had something else with someone else , not talked so much , a few months later we started talking again went to a party and danced really sexy. |
t3_2qpbra | relationships | Can i fuck my ex, even when no feelings? | Let's start up with some story: I [male 18] had a supreme relationship with a superhot girl [female 20] for about 3 years. Like every other couple we had ups and downs.
About 1 year into our relationship she fucked another dude while she was drunk. She was deeply sorry and we managed to get over it and rebuild our relationship.
Our relationsship got even better after this and we were really close. But the it didnt last, she did it again.
There was also a factor that made it even worse. The day she cheated on me secound time was 5 days after my dad passed away from sickness. This made me go bananas and broke up with her without looking back.
I have met her a couple times after the breakup where we talked and fucked. She agrees to fuck if there is feelings involved ( i dont have feelings for her, but i know her and trick her to bed).
So is it wrong to fuck her? I feel like it's okay since she have been a dick to me. | So can i keep on as long as possible or should i stop? Or mabye im a pshyco. |
t3_4d3wa2 | relationships | Me [22F] with my bf [26 M] 1 year. I feel like he threw me under the bus | Trying to make this as short as possible.
I'm not Christian (another religion but not super religious) and his parents are very religious. Last week I went to his parents' place for dinner, his dad said lots of weird things that freaked me out (like he was trying to make me convert to Christianity). I acted cool but when we got home, I told my bf that I'm not going to church for Easter with his fam. He tried to be understanding and suggested that we should go to the church nearby. He said his family wouldn't mind if we were not going to church with them. So I'm like, fine, let's go (That was my first time to go to a church and I HATED it. I just wanted to go to emotionally support my bf.).
Later he talked to his dad and basically said "what you said last time wasn't well-received so you should back out," which (I think) implied that I told him to tell his dad so.
Fast forward to today, I saw his text conversation to his sister. Basically goes like this:
Sister: Why aren't you guys coming to church with us?
Bf: Last time dad freaked /kikiwitch/ out so we decided to go to a church nearby
I totally feel like both time, he blamed everything on me. Why couldn't he just make up an excuse? Like he personally feels that his dad was being too pushy, or he was too lazy to drive to his family's church (30 minutes away)? Why would he tell his sister what I only confided in him? It makes me trust him less now.
Everything he said put me in a bad light with his family, and I'm trying really hard to get to know them. It's really hard for me since his parents are so super religious. I feel so alone here. I was so mad that I haven't said anything to him for the past hour, and instead of talking to me, he played video games and now he's out with his friends instead. | Bf threw me under the bus. What he says always represents me in a bad light and makes him look good. What to do? How can I handle the religious difference? |
t3_fpqv0 | AskReddit | Reddit, can you help my sister find a doctor? (EHE/Bone Cancer) | Nine months or so ago my sister discovered a bump on her leg and went to the doctors to get it looked it. Long story short, after MRI, PET scan and bone biopsy, they determined it was Epithelioid hemangioendothelioma (or EHE).
In September she had limb salvage surgery at UMDNJ in Newark NJ, the results of which can be seen on [this X-ray] (Compare to a [normal leg] The surgery itself was more than 9 hours long.
Since the surgery she's been unable to put any pressure on her leg at all while the bones begin to heal.
Today she learned that the top of the leg, where her leg meets the cadaver bone, is healing, but the bottom is not. In addition, her X-ray has an additional dark spot on part of the cadaver bone.
The reason I'm petitioning Reddit is because her surgeon has not been open with her, makes her wait for hours and hours past her appointment time (Today, for example, it took him more than 2 hours to meet with her) and he's suggested that, if things don't improve, they'd have to perform the surgery a second time.
Does anyone know of any limb salvage specialists in the NJ (or even mid-Atlantic) area?
Any advice or other recommendations that I could pass along would be wonderful. She's trying to remain positive, of course, but it can be difficult sometimes. | Sister had limb salvage surgery, part is healing, part isn't, and her current surgeon says he may have to go through it again, so I'm trying to find her a new doctor for at least a second opinion. |
t3_2a87ij | relationships | My father (50M) doesn't realise how bad my familys financial situation is and mum (48F) is struggling | Some background
It's me (20F) my sister (18F) and my parents. We had a great childhood and I was always close with my parents especially my mum.
Ocassionally our parents would take us to this place where me and my sister would run up and down the stairs and climb the window seal. My Parents would see a dr and just talk about boring stuff. I was young and didn't understand my dad was going to counselling because of depression and anxiety issue he has always struggled with.
Reality hit when my sister was diagnosed with depression in 2008 and I learnt about other mental issues my family has dealt with. My mum is a strong women dealing with all this but it slowly broke her. My sister's not to bad anymore, counseling and other factors have helped.
I moved in with my boyfriend of 2 years 8 months ago. Things have been going great for me. My boyfriend is loving and supportive and I have a great job. Back home my family has been struggling. Due to the new budget cut in AUS my mum lost her job and my dad decided to quit his job. My mum has been stressing about money but my dad thinks it will be fine. He only realised how bad there situation is lately after my mum threaten to leave. Everytime I see my mum she breaks down and crys. She is loosing it after holding it together for so long. I'm angry at my dad for letting things get this way. Mum suggested coupple counselling but dad refuses to see a problem. My mum texts me random things that worrys me. The lastest one
Mum: look after your sister no matter what, promise?
Me: what's wrong?
Mum: nothing just promise me ok. You need eachother | my dad fails to see he is breaking my family with his chocies, quitting his job and although my mum is seeing a mental health nurse she is struggling to hold it together, crys alot. |
t3_3gsk5z | relationships | Me [26F] a very handsome guy [35-40M] just messaged me that he found my phone on Saturday and sent me a shirtless pic to job my memory...creepy? | Yeah, so I've been in the midst of a LOT of drama on this board in the last two days. It is what it is...
But in my outside reddit life, I lost my iphone on Saturday night while out a bar. I put a message up on icloud (lost my iphone APP...it is worth EVERY PENNY!). I was heartbroken because it was battery dead, but apparently when this guy found it he plugged it in, saw my message and emailed me (as I requested on the LMI message).
We got to chatting back and forth on email and he said he thought he knew who I was (there was an event downtown called "Return of Mermaids" and I was one of maybe 200 girls/women dressed as a mermaid). I said I did not remember him and he asked if he could send me a pic...I said of course.
So a second later in comes this shirtless "action wood chopping" pic of this very handsome guy in his mid 30s/early 40s. I asked him "why shirtless" and he said only "I often strip...it's hot out"
And I kind of just stopped emailing him back because it kind of took me aback.
Here's the deal...
I have to meet him to get my phone back.
He is very, very cute and I am pretty sure single (not sure about kids but he's at "that age")
Do I overlook the weirdness of the shirtless pic and the oddball "stripping" comment and see if I can go further than just getting my phone back? | Do I overlook the strange shirtless pic that came from the guy who has my phone and see if there's potential with him. |
t3_33s02o | tifu | TIFU by finishing book 3 of Game of Thrones | This actually did happen today, about 4 hours or so ago to be exact. Some backstory first! In anticipation of the new season of Game of Thrones, I began listening to the audiobooks at work about three months ago. Having breezed through books 1 and 2, I started the third book, A Storm of Swords, about two weeks ago. When I got to a part of the book that I had literally just seen happen in the most recent episode, I should have realized that there was a very good possibility for potential spoilers ahead. However, I was so close to the end that my desire to finish book 3 got the better of me. Fast forward to today! I had just reached the epilogue, only a minute or two is left of the audiobook to go and suddenly a plot twist on the scale of which I can only compare to "Luke, I am your father," is thrust upon my unsuspecting ears! Realizing what I had just done, I turned the audiobook off immediately to prevent any further spoiling to take place, but I fear the damage was irreparable. So now I am left feeling a weird mixture of shock at this big reveal and disappointment in the fact that I may have just ruined season 5 for myself. | If you are a Game of Thrones show only watcher that is considering reading the books, DO NOT READ BOOK 3!!!! |
t3_skvmt | AskReddit | Reddit I need your help! What would you do if you were in my situation? | All right here's the story: I take Spanish classes every Friday night which is a drag because Friday is usually the night to go out and party! So I came up with the brilliant fool-proof idea to skip my class to go out to eat with some friends. At my high school there is a kind of club called the "Green Team" where we help promote environmentally friendly behaviors in school, and today, since it is two days from Earth Day, we had an exposition at lunch. I decided I would tell my parents that this exposition also went on after school, until around 7 o'clock. Now by this time I was at a restaurant, so I continued the lie saying that our teacher had taken us out to eat. Time dragged on and I sent a text message to my parents saying I was going to be back by 11:30 pm. I ended up getting home at 12:00 am and now they want to speak with the teacher in charge of all of this, who doesn't have a clue I implicated them in this and I'm assuming would not be comfortable helping me. What would you do in my place? | Created a lie to skip extra-curricular activity, ended up stretching the lie and arriving home later than expected, parents want to talk to someone in charge who cannot help.*** |
t3_12tfwi | relationship_advice | [26/M] Ugly duckling syndrome, really strange issues. | I was ugly for the most part of my life, and now that I am attractive, I am not as happy as i thought i would be. I missed all the "teen fun", and had very few friends up until i started collage. I used to get picked on by everyone regarding my physical appearance, even teachers and family, but for the most part it was girls of similar age. The latter is probably the reason why I freeze like a deer caught in headlights every time a girl tries to kiss me.
So here is the deal; I go to clubs and parties 2 times a week, can pick up any girl, go dancing, laugh, drink and have fun, but it kinda stops there. I am unable to move past the point where a girl shows interest, it freaks me out. On 3 separate occasions, I have had a naked girl in my bed, and could not do a thing about it, other than make up some lame excuse not to have sex. 2 years ago, I would litteraly tremble just by being outside. I don't actively try to pick up woman, they always approach me first. I have had real sex only once before, and it was awful tbh. I seriously don't know what to do in order to get passed this point, feels like all my hard work was wasted. | Used to be ugly, now attractive, girls freak me out, i get a bluescreen in my head when they show interest. |
t3_1h6r8f | relationship_advice | The girl [F20] I [M20] have been seeing started ignoring all my invitations to spend time together. Is all hope lost? | I met this girl about 2 months ago. We started hanging out, then went on a couple dates. Our first date we ended up just talking for almost 5 hours till the restaurant we were at closed at 2am. It looked promising. Our last date, almost 2 weeks ago now, was not so great (side note: the first time we hung out, she invited me, and she initiated this date as well). We went to dinner and couldn't hold a conversation for more than a couple minutes. Then we went to a party, which was a bust and we ended up having to give her roommate a ride home, who was super fucked up and said she couldn't be alone, which kinda killed the rest of the night. Since then I have talked to her almost every day, through texting, and she always responds, and with big full sentances not just "k". But everytime I ask if she wants to go out or do anything she either has an excuse why she cant or just straight up ignores the invite. Is she tryin to give me the hint or playing hard to get or what?! I'm at a loss here. What's my next step? Should I straight up ask if she likes me or not? Is there any hope? | went on a few dates, everything seemed fine, she still talks to me a lot but she won't respond to my invitations to spend time together. |
t3_1p6f5u | relationships | I [20 F] am ALWAYS SO angry at him[24 M] (almost 2 years)! | Let me start by saying we are not dating, but both have mutual, strong feelings. We talk every. single. day. Something I wouldn't say I'm "used to". But lately, it's become us arguing every. single. day. Sometimes I think I overreact (but it builds up), other times I think I legitimately have the right to be mad at him. I always tell myself I will not get mad at him, we will have a good day. Can't follow through. Yesterday I told him to give me a few days alone, just too much.
He sends me like 1000 words of text after a petty argument. He says I have been a bitch to him for the past few weeks.. Which is true, but I am having trouble finding an explanation. I'm not good at expressing emotions or talking about them, and I'm not sure if I'm lying to myself and him when I try to find a way to explain it.
I've never liked anyone more. That I can honestly say. The biggest thing is that I feel like I like him ***so*** much, and I'm so afraid of it ending in the future that I should stop liking him now. Like all or nothing. Not something I feel like I can say to him, of course, but it really hurts. I feel like because I don't normally like anyone really (hard to explain, I just don't care that much) that I don't know how to handle this. I feel unhappy with life in general, maybe I am taking it out on him, but maybe that's not a legitimate excuse.
I had some other thoughts that I truly can't remember, but I think the fact that I'm scared may be the biggest issue. I want things to go back to how they were before. :( Help? (Will provide more info if requested!)
Thanks! | We constantly argue, I'm scared of failure in the future, I don't know why I treat him the way I do. |
t3_4ruq1x | personalfinance | [Debt] Immediate Debt help needed. Not enough money in bank to pay bills. Long Term Plan needed as well. | I have several problems. I'll start with the immediate one:
1. I have a credit card payment due tomorrow and not enough money in the bank to pay it. I have two more payments coming up in the month that I will also not be able to pay. How should I handle this? Emergency fund is gone due to medical bills.
2. My debt payments (credit card, car, mortgage, personal loan) now equal more than what I actually take home every month. My wife does not currently have a job. When she did, we were able to get by, but I realize that we were barely treading water and not making progress in resolving the situation. She is supposed to be looking for another job, but that will not help this situation right now.
3. It seems to me that neither the snowball nor avalanche method will work for me right now, what should I do? My number 1 goal is to get out of debt. The reasons why I got into debt are varied and complicated, but I'm done, the behavior that led to it is over. We have been through Financial Peace Seminar and have already made some changes to our lifestyle to reduce expenses and budget better, but now we are sinking and not even treading water. How can I get this debt at least manageable quickly?
What do I do about the immediate payments and the long-term strategy? | Have 3 credit card payments remaining this month that I cannot pay and my monthly minimum payments on all debt now total more than I bring home. Help! |
t3_ko0ec | needadvice | Got into an argument over the Troy Davis case with a good friend | I was browsing facebook and I noticed my friend had a status where it should he signed the petition to stay the execution of Davis.
It was from 40 minutes ago from current time so I researched the execution date of Davis and noticed that Davis was unfortunately executed 10 minutes after my friend signed it.
*-I commented that he had already been dead.
*-He replied that he signed it before he died.
*-I posted the wiki about his execution time and said "You signed this right when he was strapped to the chair" I didn't think at the time it was offensive
*-He called me cynical and said he signed it as a symbol of hope and that I have no optimism.
*-I said he was true, I was cynical. I started a long rant about how he was the only person to actually acknowledge the case and that out of all my friends I have, he did something about it. I told him that he was a good person compared to all the people that complained about facebook changing it's damn look.
*-I proceeded to question how he would have felt, had he signed it sooner and it was his signature that saved his life?
*-He evaded the question, and proceeded to my claim about people caring more about facebook that it was evil and in my opinion, calling me evil for calling out hundreds of people for caring more about their precious facebook than an innocent(imo) man's life. He claimed that he did it as a symbol of hope.
I stopped responding because I had taken this to far by even responding to his status. I was in no mood to start having arguments in a public setting, especially on facebook.
This whole fiasco has made me hate facebook even more and I feel that my friend had no right to martyr an innocent man and sign a petition to save his life late.
I didn't really ask him what hope he was trying to illuminate to people. Can anyone tell me in their opinion what my friend was trying to do? | called out friend for signing petition late, got into argument about me being evil and how he was doing it for hope. Stopped responding but I want to be happy go lucky with him again. |
t3_guqzy | AskReddit | Reddit, I have a meeting with my Dean next week. How should I handle this one? | I had a paper due during the month of March. Despite being sick, I drove to campus and sat through class so I could hand my work in to the TA (the professor didn't show). Three weeks later when papers were handed back, the professor told me in front of the whole class that I never submitted a copy. All 40 or so other students got theirs back with no issue. At the end of class I approached the prof. and her gang of TAs and PLAs only to be told that she has never lost a paper before. The TA backed her up and said she never saw my work. The professor saw that I was angry and told me to email it to her when I got back home.
By the time I got home I was seething with anger. I sent her my paper but I also included some lines in the email about how it was ridiculous that only one paper in the whole class was lost and now I was submitting late. I wrote that I would no longer be submitting anything to a TA who obviously cant keep track of simple tasks. The professor graded my submission and sent it back without taking any credit away.
Yesterday (another two weeks after the initial conversation), the professor found my original paper "hidden" somewhere in her office. She made me wait after class and told me it was completely unacceptable and disrespectful to write emails about being mad no matter who was at fault. Basically, she expected that I just be happy she didn't penalize me for her own mistake. She threatened me with a meeting with a Dean if I did not grasp her point at the end of our conversation.
In the end, I picked the Dean over bowing my head and being thankful for the mercy of someone who acted irresponsibly and lost work that they assigned.
When I go to see the Dean I plan on reiterating this point but its really her word against mine as to what constitutes disrespectful conduct.
Should I have just dropped it? | Prof never got paper so I raged at her about her shitty TA losing things. She didn't appreciate my comments so now I have to go talk to the dean. What should I do? |
t3_4rrxew | relationships | i [40 M] with my have been venting to my friend [38 F] about my marriage is this wrong? | i have been a lurker for a little while.
i have been married to my wife (Melissa 40 F) for 19 years now and we have 5 kids. our marriage is rocky right now, due to financial issues little communication and lack of intimacy.
counseling has been brought up but we haven't fully pushed to go or anything. we have become distant with each other and i have noticed we are starting to argue more frequently.
i sometimes dread going home because i know she's probably going to be mad at me for something. i honestly have been thinking about working overtime but don't want to be that mean.
i have a female friend and we talk occasionally but not that often i have known her for 11 years. we became friends when me and my wife first moved to our neighborhood she's a nice woman to talk to.
she could tell something was wrong with me and asked me what was on my mind. after a little bit i finally told her everything thats been going on with my life and how i feel.
i then started telling her about my marriage problems and how me and my wife have been arguing a lot. she agreed with on everything and told me my wife shouldn't be getting that angry at me.
we have been texting a bit more than usual and it feel nice to just talk to someone who's not yelling at me. but i can't shake the feeling that this is somehow wrong?
is what I'm doing wrong? | me and my wife are having problems and keep arguing a lot i have started venting to my friend but i feel lime its somehow wrong. |
t3_ev29k | AskReddit | Animal Doctors of reddit, i need some help! | My dog had an accident a couple of weeks back, we heard a yelp and he carried on as normal. Over the next day or so he got really lame on it to the point where he could hardly lay down without it hurting. We let him rest for a few days and all seemed well. Problem solved.
Until yesterday evening after a very active play with another dog. His hind left knee has ballooned. It doesn't hurt him to touch it but he cannot put any weight on or bend it inwards without what seems to be severe pain.
I found [this link] which appears to outline exactly what the problem is.
The main thing is that the vets is shut until tuesday at the earliest (damn bank holidays) so is there anything we can do to sort of ease the pain or swelling until we can get him to the vets? | My dog hurt his leg, he's in pain. The vets is closed until tuesday, is there anything we can do between now and then? |
t3_4dz1oc | relationships | [23 M] Not sure how to tell dad [56 M] that I'm finished hunting | This might not be understood by a lot of you. Grew up in the mid-west. Hunting is crazy huge here. Grew up hunting all my life, and honestly, have always enjoyed it. But in the last couple years or so, I've just completely lost the passion for it, and now if feels wrong to be going out and killing something, just to do it. Its not really a moral objection, because I eat the meat and love it. Its a really hard feeling to explain, almost like jerking it, but halfway through you realize you were never horny in the first place and just give up. Or when you've beaten a really great game, but have no intentions of picking ip up again. Sort of a mixture of those two feelings
But heres the thing, and whats making it difficult... It's my dads entire life. He's like Ted Nuget minus the music (ALL HUNTING). If he's not planning hunts, or actually hunting, he's either fishing or sleeping. Its crazy. He invests all his money into property, conservation, guns, and all hunting accessories, which he hopes to pass onto me. I know he would be absolutely devastated if I told him I was wanting to stop, or at least slow down. With him investing so much, this will also come as a financial shock. We're doing just fine, but I know he'll be upset after putting so much into it, thinking I would do this forever.
What I could really use is some advice on how to tell him. I want him to know I still want to hang out with the guys, and do the trips, but I think my days pulling the trigger are over. | Dad is a hunting machine. Invests all his time and money into. I no longer want to hunt, and I know it will devastate him. How should I best approach this? |
t3_gkhrw | AskReddit | Explain to me. What's with the reposting hate? | Let me start by saying that I am a relatively new member of the reddit community (7 months). I now come here almost daily to check in on the cool stuff around the internet. However, many of the interesting posts that I have seen have comments that say 'screw the reposters' or some such thing. I have a problem with this sentiment.
Isn't the whole point of the upvote/downvote system to make things that a majority of people like more visible? If people see a repost and don't know it is a repost, then it deserves the upvotes. Once the majority of the people here have seen something it will stop being upvoted. I find it incredibly elitist for long time redditors to say that a submission that they have already seen isn't OK to post for those of us who are new.
I understand that simultaneous posts of the same thing will water down the voting system. That is clearly counterproductive. But if a post is locked and years old it often is new to many of us.
If you have seen it before, downvote it. But if a significant number of new people like it enough to upvote it then let it be. Let us enjoy our repost and you can silently judge us for being newcomers, or welcome us into your burgeoning community. | Why can't you let the up/downvote system sort out the reposts? They are new to many of us and that is why they are voted up. Thanks. |
t3_4l2ae3 | travel | 6 month trip to SE Asia itinerary reccomendation | Hello everyone, first time poster here, but have been lurking for quite some time.
So I am in the preliminary stages of planning a 6 month trip for after my girlfriend and I finish our undergrad next year. I have recently travelled all around Europe while on exchange so I decided to embark in South East Asia, like many others. The countries I plan to visit are:
Thailand
Myanmar
Laos
Vietnam
Cambodia
Indonesia
After reading many posts, I have heard lots of people say that 6 months could be more than enough time to visit all these countries, so I have decided to potentially add another destination. This is where I need your help. I am very open to any country and I need some recommendations on another country I could add to the trip that is in the general area of SE Asia (ex. India, Japan, Australia, etc.). I will be travelling with my girlfriend and we will be trying to travel cheap (hostels, street food, walking, etc.) So what would you recommend? | I am planning to travel to Thailand, Myanmar, Laos, Viet, Cambodia, and Indonesia for 6 months, but I want to add another destination into the mix that is close by. Where should we go? |
t3_2jsxau | relationships | I (31m) don't like the way my girlfriend (29f) has started to dress. 3 years together. | Recently my girlfriend lost some weight. Not a lot, and she's still chubby, but she is healthier now and has some great curves. I looked at her clothes and it looks like she's in a 12 or 14. Mind you this isn't about weight, I couldn't care less what she weighs, I'd be attracted to her at any size.
It's just that she's started to dress completely different and it's started to bother me. She used to dress a little more... normally. Jeans, blouses. Leggings and long shirts. Skin-tight shirts and jeans that showed off her body. Occasionally a pencil skirt for work. On the weekends it'd be jeans and a t-shirt.
But now, she's always in dresses or dresses/skirts combinations. She looks completely different. She has a "indie" look going on. The long, flowing hair, flared dresses, florals. Headbands too. She traded in her normalish glasses for those boxy thick framed type glasses. She looks like she walked out of the ModCloth store. I find it really unattractive, because I like a more traditional looking girl.
I asked her why she was suddenly dressing so different, and she said she'd always wanted to but never had the confidence to because she thought she was too fat. I thought that was stupid (but didn't tell her that of course), but I did tell her that I would love to see her in jeans, or just, pants again. She said she'd buy some new pants, and she did but she's only worn them once.
What can I do? I think she looked better, more adult and classy when she dressed a little more normally. I'm a little embarrassed when we go out in public together because she looks kind of... weird, is all I know how to say. How do I direct her back to looking more normal? Should I just buy her pieces? | girlfriend suddenly started dressing like an indie pop star, find it very unattractive. What can I do to encourage her to dress more like she used to? |
t3_3dbqfs | tifu | TIFU by rubbing my eyes | This actually happened within the last hour.
So, a little background first, I'm a teenager at a sleep away summer camp. Each day, they have a wide selection activities after classes, each in different locations. The activity I chose with my Asian friend (we're both Asian) was on a dusty field.
Suddenly, a strong wind blew the dust in the air. My friend starts covering his eyes, and everyone else is blocking their eyes from the whirling dust in one way or another. Then I realized that my eye was irritated as well, so I rubbed my eyes and blinked to stimulate the fluid. My friend and I were facing each other while wiping our eyes from the sudden wind when a counselor approaches. He tells us that we are being racist to Asians by stretching out our eyes and that we need to stop. But then, more dust gets in my eye. The counselor yells at me again for being inappropriate and disrespectful and takes me to the office. Now, I am sitting in the office waiting to talk to the site director about "harassment". My parents are to be notified, and they will most surely kill me when I get home. | I got dust in my eye, rubbed it away, counselor thought I was being racist, now I am sitting in the office for "harassment". |
t3_v7tab | GetMotivated | Attitude problem: I got my shit together. Now my friend's total crapulence is nauseating. | In the past few months, I've gone from being unemployed and/or just barely making ends meet to having a full-time job plus a lucrative side gig.
I'm no longer oriented to the "world" of hanging out, drinking, smoking and bullshitting. I'm trying to retain a sense of appreciation and, if I can, respect for a particular friend that I've had great times with... while drinking, smoking and bullshitting.
But now that I've changed my scene, I'm disgusted and revolted by his life of playing Red Alert for 3-6 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the past 3 years, while he waits for someone to give him a job (he doesn't seek one), buying beer and cigarettes with the money he gets from his parents (saying its for rent and electricity), stolen cable and borrowed wi-fi from his neighbor who he never pays (even that was the original agreement). He's weirdly lucky enough to have found a landlord that hasn't evicted him, even though he's probably $2000 behind in rent.
I want to respect him for his friendly nature and ease of 'hangoutness'. He gets along great with absolutely anybody. He's super fun to party with and is well-spoken enough to sound impressive.
But know how he actually lives: utter sloth and crapulence. His "ego" -- the person he thinks he is and presents to others -- is completely the opposite of the grown man (way over 30) who refuses to find or hold job to provide for himself.
I find myself angry, disgusted and revolted by how seriously he expects to be taken, despite his refusal to take responsibility for the most basic things of adult-man life. | Please tell me your stories on how you dealt with the change of how you see your friends when *you* get *your* shit together. |
t3_51lq1h | personalfinance | Pay down debt or focus on savings? | I realize this might be a no-brainer for some but here's my reasoning: I have not built up much savings at all and real estate around me is sky rocketing. I was making 2k/mo CC payments and just had a very expensive few months that almost tripled my debt. I started thinking that my credit balance rises and falls but never gets to $0. Now I am thinking of allocating 2k/mo to savings and still a sizable amount to credit. I know I will pay in interest but in the end I will have much more savings and not feel like I am still on the ground. I guess I'm interested in reading opinions/advice. If details help: I make $6000, bills/rent = $2200, CC debt = $8000. I am looking for a good way to allocate between debt, savings and maybe smaller savings for more expensive wants & some for disposable spending during the week. I am fortunate enough to be not stressing about income but I stress about not having a plan to achieve $0 debt, grow savings immensely and be able to afford wants without going further in debt. Thank you. | Earn 6k, bills $2200; debt 8k. How to divide between savings, debt, wants (smaller savings), disposable weekly income? |
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