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t3_33esil | relationships | I (18m) am starting to feel like I am less important to my partner (18f) | I have always been a kind of emotional guy, because during my childhood I went through a lot of tough social stuff. I was very overweight, thought I had friemds that I really didn't, and found myself being singled out just about everytime I tried to apply myself to friend groups and whatnot. I was always an outcast. No girls liked me until I slimmed out and began to get funnier and therefore mote social. It's for this reason that now I have someone who I have been with for 10 months, I still get the feeling that she doesn't really care that much about me, in the way that I like to be. She is very very busy with tennis, work, and our IB testing coming up in the next couple of weeks. I appreciate that she is busy, but sometimes I just feel like whenever we talk or hang out its because I pushed it or started it. She never really starts anything or texts me first. I find myself sending like 3 messages before finally getting a mediocre response at best. I know she loves me dearly and loves spending time with me, its just that we dont get yo do it very often, so I cherish the texting and talking, while she just kind of replies to questions I ask. Her parents are very controlling and she is busy, so we don't spend as mich time together as we want to. This stuff happens every day too. We usually have an off period together, but today she had to take a math test, so I just went home. She texted me saying that she was done, and there was still time during our off period to hang out, but when I asked what she was up to, I didnt get a response until the period was almost over. Even then, when I asked what she did and how shes doing, she didn't reply for an hour and when she did she just said "a meeting." Its just really frustrating for me that she doesn't cherish the little things, even when we don't get to spend too much time together. Am I overthinking this? Or am I being too clingy? What should I do? | i wish my girlfriend would guve a bit more attention to my efforts to talk to me, and i wish she would cherish the little things like texting a little bit more. i just want her attention without seeming clingy |
t3_2c3fsc | relationships | I really need help and don't have anyone to talk to. I'm (41M) not sure my kids are mine. | I'm shaking as I type this. I don't have anyone I can talk to and I'm really freaking out at the moment.
The rought backstory. I married my wife (44F) 11 years ago. She already had one kid from a previous relationship and now we have two more together.
A few weeks ago my wife ordered a ancestry / genetic test through 23 and me. The results were funny so I decided to do one for myself and our kids.
In the ancestry section my wifes daughter had the exact same ancestral roots as our son, and our other shared daughter had no ancestral links to me.
I feel really confused and sick and I've searched online to see how accurate these tests are but I can't find anything and I don't know whether these ancestral genetic links are accurate or not. I really need help. Does anyone know what to do? Please? | I did a 23 and me genetic test for me and my kids and my kids share no ancestral links to me and im freaking out that they're not mine. |
t3_1w8tqq | relationships | Me [17M] with my ex [17F] of 3 years, broke up and I need help with something | So, after three years of happiness and love we both decided to end it. At the time it felt so right because we both didn't feel happy and really it was a spur of the moment kind of thing.
After a month of the break up and trying to be friends she decided it would be best if we just didn't talk for a bit. I said okay even though all I wanted to do was still keep on talking. Now here comes the real part.
For the past week or so all I've wanted to do is tell her that I still love her with all my heart and I'm sorry. It just feels wrong not being with her and it doesn't help that I see her for 50% of my day. I really just want to ask her back out and just try to mend the break in the relationship so I can be happy again.
Now I'm scared to do this because I really don't want to ruin anything with the friendship but it honestly hurts in my heart not to be able to say "I love you" to her.
So do I confess my feelings to her, or do I just let them settle and let her do what she wants? | Girlfriend and I broke up, still have feelings after 2 months after two months of breaking up. Do I tell her my feelings, or do I let them settle? |
t3_urovg | AskReddit | Seeking dual citizenship. Has anybody gone through the process? Talk me through it. | Ok. Back story. My dad is (was?) a citizen of Czechlosovakia, and got his American citizenship in the late 70's. He was not stripped of his CZ citizenship, this was a choice and he went through the naturalization process.
I. Want. Out. Of the US.
From what I understand, due to my father being born in CZ, I can apply for dual citizenship, thus allowing me to fulfill my want of getting out of the states.
It has been really hard in finding any info on this process, and I am wondering if anybody has done it, or knows the process.
Little background .... I am an ignorant American that doesn't speak anything else other than English. I do not have a master's degree. (I've learned this stuff may be relevant...) | I want to become an ex-pat or get dual citizenship. How do I do it? My dad is a naturalized US citizen and his home country offers dual citizenship. How do I accomplish this? |
t3_xc4jm | tifu | TIFU by meeting a hot girl and breaking my toe... | So I am running through the park by my house today and there is a REALLY cute girl doing some slack-lining between two trees. I think to myself "wow, she is amazing, I wish I had the courage to talk to her..." So I man up and convince myself that if she is still there by the end of my run I gotta take a chance.
Sure enough she was still doing her thing, so I walk over and strike up a conversation with her about her cool hobby. She asks if I want to try and I say sure. She reccommends taking my shoes and socks off as she was barefoot too so I take my shit off and try this slack-lining business. I lose my balance a few times but it doesn't seem so bad at first. A few tries later I fall straight down and have the choice of awkwardly bailing or landing right on my nuts. I chose to bail akwardly and did some kind of spin off the rope and onto the ground.
Then I look down and see my foot. [This (warning: sorta graphic)] is what it looked like. I stop for a sec and I say, very casually "Hey, umm, I think I broke my toe...." She looks over in horror and says "Oh my god...". Well obviously the introduction is ruined at this point but I call for a ride to the hospital and make jokes with her in the mean time. I gave her my number and told her to text me and I would update her on the situation. She started crying at one point and felt really guilty. She texted me once but we haven't talked yet since. | Took a half an hour to work up the courage to talk to a girl and broke my toe right in front of her. |
t3_3eqj5c | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [26 F] of 5 months, she has been talking with abusive ex: Does this cross the line? | Have been dating my GF for 5 months, and I love her very much. I have never met anyone like her and she has been one of the most supportive and loving girls I have ever dated. There really has not been any issues in the relationship until I found out that she has been in contact with her abusive ex. Her ex that she dated 2 years ago for 4 years was emotionally abusive, manipulative, and had cheated on her. She went to counselling to deal with the issues that caused her to stay in this relationship.
I have asked her why she talks to him, and she says that he was there for her when she was going through her last break up (about a year ago). This was before we met obviously. She feels like he is a friend for her and that she does not have a lot of friends that are there for her. I know I can't be there for her all of the time, but do not understand why this guy has to be one that she confides in? I feel like I am getting played to be honest. Furthermore, he has some drug issues and apparently doesn't have anyone to help him out of this problem. I have asked her why she feels she is the one to have to help him out? Her claim is that she feels like she is abandoning him if she breaks contact. I have asked her to break contact with him for the sake of this relationship (it makes me uncomfortable that she is emotionally there for him considering their past) and the burden he is putting on her. I told her its best to suggest that he get professional help and to leave the communication at that. Her first reaction was that it was controlling, but I am not that type. I want her to have a life outside of our relationship, but I do not feel that someone that was abusive towards her is right. After she settled down, she admitted that she completely saw my view and that she would no longer contact him. Have I crossed the line in asking her to break contact? Is this really controlling? | I have asked my GF of 5 months to break contact with her abusive ex. Is she crossing the line in our relationship? Am I crossing the line in asking her to break contact? |
t3_1kqr4b | relationships | Me[21M], back from college to my home town, i have been socially blocked by a certain group of people | I never was the very social type.I always had friends, but i reduced my social circle only to people i can fully trust (some people havent treated me very good) . When i left for college i tried to keep in touch with my classmates mostly, but over the years i keep in touch only with my best friend. When i return to my hometown ( a small town in southern italy ), i hung out with him mostly. Over the years i have cut off contacts to some people, reducing them to only typically saying ''hi'' and stuff (there is no chance to avoid people in a small town, and i dont want to be hated by everyone).
People who meet me in person mostly have a good opinion for me. The problem is that a group of people has been spreading things about me and my best friend, without having done anything bad to them (actually, they have done bad things to me in the past).Now its reached a point i can no longer ignore them, cause they are cutting me off socially from other people they have influence over.Ive learned they spread lies about me and my friend.
A week before they talked to a good friend of my mine, and asked him the reason he hungs out with a ''person like me''
How can i turn this situation around. Everytime i return from college for my summer days i confront this situation, and every year its worse | A group of people are turning people against me, or preventing people from meeting me by spreading lies against me. I cant ignore it any longer. What can i do |
t3_49gls1 | relationships | I [17 M] have wanted to break up with my girlfriend [16 F] of four months for a while, but her dad is very sick and doesn't much time. | I have been in a relationship for 4 months and I no longer want to be in a relationship and I have lost feelings. I've wanted to break up with her for probably 3 weeks now. However, her father is very sick, and his condition suddenly got worse and is expected to pass away soon.
I'm not sure what I should do, because if I break up with her now, it's just going to put even more stress onto her, and if I stay with her, I'd feel like an asshole for staying with her out of pity. I care about her feelings, and I don't know what to do. | Have wanted to break up with girlfriend for a couple of weeks now, father's condition suddenly got worse and now I don't know what to do. |
t3_1y2pbz | relationships | I (19/M) am having trouble not worrying about my relationship of 4 months with my girlfriend (19/M) | I am a worrier and over think things all the time especially my relationship. I am constantly over thinking little things and have a feeling like something is wrong between us even though we're completely fine. I hate that I can't always be happy with her because I have these negative thoughts that something is wrong. She gives me no reason to think anythings wrong and if we do have some type of disagreement or little fight we talk it out and are fine in the end. I just want your opinion on what I should do to get rid of these negative thoughts and why I would even have them in the first place. I mean i'm the guy so why do I worry so much, isn't that usually what the girl does. | I worry about my relationship even though I have no reason to. Why do I do this and what can I do to stop worrying so much? |
t3_1h8erj | relationships | How to tell my BF [20M] that I [19F] don't know if I want to go to Atlanta | This isn't going to be scandalous but I just need some advice
Me and my boyfriend have been planning a trip down to Atlanta for some time now and now I'm starting to have second thoughts. I'm the only one with a car, but we both have our licenses. I don't pay anything for the car, except gas. But I take care of it like its my child. My worry is that the only way for us to go down to ATL is if I lie to my parents. We would only be there for 4 days but still a big lie to hide from your parents, especially if they paying for the car and them thinking your somewhere else. I just don't anything to happen while driving to and from, cause then my parents will find out and hell will break loose.
But my main problem is that my boyfriend is REALLY looking forward to ATL. He's currently in another country for the summer and is working his ass off for $4.20 per hour to pay for our trip...I don't know how to go about this without upsetting him. | How to tell my excited BF [20M] that I [19F] am having second thoughts about taking a trip to Atlanta, while he is working $4.20 per hour in another country to pay for our trip. |
t3_135spx | relationships | Current Friends [M20, F-18] Possibly Being FWB | There is a female friend in my group that has in the past shown interest in me. She was very touchy and showed signs of interest, but after a while she went cold and said the usual "didn't want to hurt you" and that she had no time for a relationship. The other night I was with her and another male friend and we were talking about sex, which led to the topic of friends with benefits, and how we were all looking for a relationship like that, no strings attached kind of thing. With our past, I figured that I might as well ask her about it, but I am a little on the fence about doing it.
I called her and asked to meet her, but unfortunately she was busy with school work and the next day she had to work. Today she texted me and she was suggesting that I become a male friend to one of the girls she works with, not to date, but to just befriend. I found that to be a little weird and awkward, being asked to be a friend to another girl, as I just don't hang out with too many females, with the exception of the one I wish to FWB. I feel like this might kind of hurt my chances though, and it makes me feel a little more awkward about asking her how she would feel about a FWB relationship given what happened with her friend.
With out past I feel like she would go for the added relations, especially based on how our conversation went the other night. She and I are both looking for a very similar relationship, and I think it would work between us. I seem to be uncertain of how I should ask, or if I even should anymore. | Interested in female friend with past indications of interest to be FWB after having a discussion that we are both interested in a relationship like that. |
t3_513zja | dogs | [Help] Adopted puppy, turns out he has parvovirus, looking for some advice. | Hi /r/dogs, I adopted a 4 month old Great Pyrenees puppy from a local humane society on 9/2. He was super happy and playful when I got him home, and on through the night. The following day was a different story. He was very lethargic, would not eat his food, and puked several times. Unsure of what might be causing him to be ill, me and my dad decided to take him to a local 24 hour vet late that afternoon.
Turns out he has parvo. After they administered the test, he took a large, runny, and bloody crap there in the vets office which further confirmed the parvo test results. Talking with the vet, it would be $1600-$2200 to give him the proper inpatient care he needs at the vet office. Unfortunately I can't spend the next week sitting at home with him administering medicine either.
So, I think I'm relinquishing him back to the shelter today. But, I wanted to check with you guys on something. Yesterday afternoon I signed up for 24PetWatch per insurance, prior to taking him to the vet. Has anyone used 24PetWatch, would they be able to help pay for the parvo treatment? It seems the only viable way I would be able to afford inpatient treatment. | Adopted 4 month old puppy that has parvo, relinquishing him back to the humane society most likely, unless 24PetWatch could possibly help pay for it, any advice? |
t3_1f3lby | AskReddit | How do I (tactfully) tell my lab partner I don't want to work with her? | There's only a few weeks left in the quarter, so I don't mind being her partner for the remainder of the class. However, I am exasperated.
I just turned in a 12 page research paper for which we had the option of working together or with our partner. My partner immediately said, "Together!" because I am a strong writer and she is not, and I agreed. Fine, whatever. Well, I ended up doing 100% of the work on the paper, because she is difficult to schedule around and I am not willing to be at the school library until it closes at 10 (I have a husband and family, who I actually like being around). I asked her to help me with citations, but ended up doing them myself because it was impossible to convey over telephone/text message/email exactly what needed to be done. Besides, I'm no foreman. I don't need to instruct her on how to do citations.
So now, I've invested many hours writing a (really good) paper, and her name went on it too. It stings that she will get as much credit for my work as I will, though she put in absolutely no effort. We have another, longer, paper due in two weeks and I don't know how to tactfully tell her she needs to write her own. I don't want to hurt her feelings, and I want to be able to work pleasantly with her during future labs. As for her writing part of a combined paper, I don't want her to have any hand in what I turn in, because she is a terrible, terrible writer. | I ended up writing a paper for myself and my lab partner. I don't want to do that again. How do I tell her this nicely? |
t3_hyfyp | AskReddit | My mom woke me up 20 minutes ago because we "can't find" my boyfriend....What should I do? | My mom came into my room round 4:20, asking if I had "heard from my boyfriend lately"....obviously I was confused, as I had been sleeping and I believed he had been as well!
Though apparently his mother called both me and my mom, saying that she has been trying to reach him for hours. The last time she heard from him, he told her he was coming over to my house to watch a movie. He was lying, I was at a concert out of town with my dad and I didn't get home until very late and I was gone all day.
The last time I heard from him was at 11:30....he hadn't texted me for a while, then texted me and told me he had been asleep and he was going back to sleep. Goodnights were exchanged, etc.
At this point, I've called him ~10 times and texted him several more times, usually he wakes up after one phone call.
So I don't know what to do at this point....Reddit, what would you be doing/what should I be doing? Should I wait until "morning"? (It's almost 5:00 and the sun isn't even up yet). | my boyfriend is "missing", no one can get ahold of him, his mom has been looking for him and called my home, awakening my mom and I....What should I do? |
t3_3z8pcx | relationships | Me [32F] confused where it all went wrong with my ex [27M] | My relationship recently ended, been together 8months and I'm just confused on how everything played out. Need some advice on if I went above and beyond like I felt I did or if I should be done more, tried more.
He worked odd hours at night so one week he would 12hr days 7 days and one week off..I worked typical 9 to 5 but rearranged my schedule to have 2 days off duringthe week every other week to maximize the time we could spend together. He didn't talk on the phone much so we messaged the most we could when we were awake or not working. I really did care for him...tried to make it work.
Yet he thought it was me demanding everything on my schedule of when we got to see each other or talk. I'm just confused on what if anything I should have done instead. | Did I go above and beyond? Trying to determine if by my adjusting my schedule to match as best his schedule is me controlling the relationship or is it just the crappie part of off schedules. |
t3_12v3yv | AskReddit | What's the most ignorant thing you have heard post-election? | I live in Texas. Needless to say many people I know were rather perturbed by the re-election of Obama. Several people I know busted out the liquor when the results came in, but not in celebration mind you. Today in class one girl who was angry about the results said with a smug confidence "I'd rather have a communist president than a socialist one." I didn't even respond, I merely sat there in amazement at the depth of this girls hatred even though she obviously had no idea what she was talking about. It was my biggest face-palm in quite some time. | Snobby girl said "I'd rather have a communist president than a socialist one" with regards to her anger over Obamas re-election. |
t3_2m3xbi | relationships | [17 M] not sure if I'm on the hook or not. | i have never had a kiss much less a girlfriend. me and this one girl were getting real close, then i realized she had a boyfriend so i backed down a little. she broke up with him within the month and i figured it was because she had feelings for me. so i waited two weeks then i started flirting with her and everything (which i helplessly suck at). just last night i asked her to go out with me and she said she was "burnt out". she had been in a year long relationship waited two weeks then went out with this one guy for about 4 months and broke up and then i ask her out. she says that she wants to wait a little while and doesn't want to rush into another relationship. after saying no, we talked for a little while and headed back to residential building. (we live at a boarding school and her ex-boyfriend was not at the boarding school) going up the elevator i asked if she would be open to a relationship with me in the future. she said maybe. so i don't know if there is an actual chance for me to be with her in the future and if so how much do i restrict my flirting and texting. or if I'm on the hook. | Girl rejected me by saying she wasn't ready yet. I'm not sure if I'm on the hook or have an actual chance. |
t3_39my8o | relationships | 25F Breaking with Boyfriend. We share a lease, I'm moving out and need advice! | Hi Everyone!
This may not be the place to ask. My live in boyfriend and I are parting ways. We live in an apartment in NYC. We're both on the lease with our parents as guarantors. Our lease ends in November.
I'm moving out. We're planning not to break the lease. I've found a room in another apartment where I'll be subleasing month to month.
However my ex and I are working out an agreement for me to help him with rent for the rest of our lease.
What is the best way to organize this and have it well documented to avoid any shenanigans going forward? | broke up with BF. Still on a lease. Still contributing a small portion of rent. What's the best way to document it and avoid shenanigans? |
t3_12l5cf | relationships | Not happy in recent marriage [33m], then found out wife [34f] is pregnant. Makes it difficult to walk away | I'm an Indian American that got married to a very nice girl I knew through family, our marriage was arranged but I got to know the girl before. 33m and 34f.
We've been married for just over 6 months now, everything was good at the beginning. But in the past few months I came to slowly realize how different my wife is compared to me, she started showing me how very opposite to me she is through her words and actions, her outlook on life, etc. A lot of the things she said were not compatible with my lifestyle and career, and make me think I married a much younger women who isn't experienced with life. I'm very upset she didn't say any of these before marriage, otherwise I would have dismissed her immediately. It's as if she hid all these bad traits at the beginning and now I feel I got duped.
Examples
She is very negligent, has lost alot of valuable things like jewelry and it's not a big deal to her.
She says she cannot leave money lying around in her purse, it has to be spent.
She forgets ALOT
We had alot of arguments about these issues and every time I tell myself that I cannot continue with this, I cannot change her as a person, and I need to end this marriage before it becomes worse.
The day after our last argument we found she was pregnant (confirmed by doctor). Given the above, this obviously made me depressed and "stuck" . (I was stupid not to follow my own rule which was to wait a few months before going unprotected). Our families know about the pregnancy and abortion is not an option (personal, cultural and legal reasons)
I am confused on what to do in such a situation ... Please don't turn this into an discussion on arranged marriage because I dont see it this way. | Turns out woman I married is very different from me and I'm not comfortable living with her. But I cannot divorce because she is pregnant. |
t3_zr5dq | dating_advice | Inexperienced late twenties male. Am I pretending I have high standards due to a fear of sex? Should I practice with people who seem cool but I don't feel a spark? | I started online dating to get more experience as a late-twenties male.
So far after a few dates I haven't pursued a kiss or a follow-up date or invites to my apartment because there is not much of a spark, but the girls are cool and semi-attractive to me. I feel like I would rather make out with and have sex with someone who I have more chemistry with. However, I am worried that I might just be anxious about intimacy in general and using this reasoning as an excuse to avoid sex.
I have a date set up next week with someone who I think I will have a spark with, but now I am afraid that it won't go as well due to my lack of experience. Would it be wise to try to get more experience with intimacy with girls who I don't seem to have a spark with before I try it with someone I actually really seem to like? | Am I not asking for second dates because I am afraid of sex? Should I practice first with girls I am not that attracted to? |
t3_3yjfin | tifu | TIFU my first secret santa, twice. | Happened over the last month, with the final realization sinking in now.
Taking part in my first secret santa, I get matched to a guy in Canada, my home country. He tells me he has small kids who love pokemon and they play together, so I think, "Great!"
I live in Japan and have more access to pokemon stuff than anywhere else in the world, so I go overboard and spend waaaaaay more than the suggested $25 on a box full of goodies and toys and candy.
Here comes my first fuck up.. I mailed the box by Japan's express mail service. Expensive - cost me another $45 or so, was a heavy box - and fast, it would arrive in 3-5 days. Except I didn't see the after-thought note mentioning an apartment number. So two weeks later, I am surprised to find the box back in my hands.
So I did what was only natural- contact the guy, ask to check the address for my own sake before sending it again, only there are no more replies from him. Radio silence. So i note down the address + apt. # and mail it off on the 18th. Another $45 and my second fuck up. The online tracking for my package shows the same "arrived in ____ Canada" notice it said for my first attempt, but neither mentioned the package being returned. Since my match never confirmed a gift, I looked at the receipt to confirm I wrote the address right. I aced his address (as far as I know it)... and forgot half of my own.
Thats right, the post office also didnt notice my fuck up since foreign-bound parcels are not written in japanese. I only wrote down my city's name, completely forgetting my street, postal code, and building. I don't think either of us are getting the package now. | went overboard on secret santa and mailed package to an incorrect address. After it was returned, I sent out again and forgot my own address. No box for anyone now. |
t3_2bbcco | relationships | Me [24 M] with my [22 F], 6 months, I've lied and want to undo my wrongs. | Since I went on my first date with my (now) girlfriend I lied saying I had a moderately prestigious job. In actuality I was still a student and just had a job offer from this company. It may not be the most sinister of lies, but a lie none the less. I lied because I am a late-graduating student and thought it would portray me negatively.
Time has passed and I am finishing my degree, and although I am now converging to the truth, I feel really bad about it. I am worried she will lose all trust she has for me if I tell her. I know the general response is that the truth is the only option, and maybe that is true, but are there any alternatives? | Lied about having a job while still a student, now have the job and unsure if I should fess up to my past lie. |
t3_xv6qp | running | Sanity Check | The most I've run before is 16ish as part of my homemade training plan for a 1/2 marathon. I know that was more than necessary but I felt like doing it so I did. That was 6 weeks ago if I'm remembering right. Since then I've been running but I took a week break two weeks ago due to a pinched nerve in my back.
Today, I bargained my friend that if he ran 6 miles, I'd run 20. I firmly believe I can do it, but the most foolish of men are the most confident, so I thought I'd ask people with more experience than I whether or not this is dumb.
For further reference/context, I've been running for about 3 months, and finished my most recent halfie in 1:56, comfortably. | Ran 16 miles 6 weeks ago, took a week break two weeks ago but otherwise continued running, in roughly the same shape, think I could give 20 a go? |
t3_2hvzyu | relationships | My boyfriend [20M] broke up with me [18F] and I'm spiralling into something awful. | I've created a throwaway account specifically for this post. As a quick look into my background before I get to the main issue, I've suffered from fluctuating depression for the past 3 years which has been on different scales of severity.
I've experienced break ups before but they have either been from loveless relationships or ones where the love has dwindled.
4 months ago I met my most recent ex and at first I struggled to develop feelings for him, which created issues. Then I did get the feelings and I fell in love with him and he became my perfect constant. We were so happy I couldn't believe it. He kept me steady whilst my Alevel exams were pushing me off slightly and he was genuinely the nicest guy I had ever met.
Recently, and this probably relates to his moving away to uni, I started to slip back into depression and because of this I became more argumentative. In one week we had 4 arguments over fickle things which I didn't consider too bad and always managed to sort it within the day, then when I visited him this weekend just gone he explained that he's been having doubts because of the arguments and that he was staying with me not because he wanted to, but because of my mental health issues. We argued, again. Made up, again. He talked to me about the future and about seeing me on Christmas day etc then the next day dumped me over text.
I am distraught. I want him back like something not right but he has his mind set on staying apart despite still loving me. My main issue is that my education is going downhill and I have very few close real friends so I'm not finding any comfort. My doctor has recently prescribed me antidepressants but the side effect list has scared me from taking them. I am lost. I want him back with such sheer desperation and I feel as though my constant is gone and I have no way to comfort myself because of the non-relationship issue.
I don't know what I hope to achieve by posting this. I need help. Apologies for any possible spelling errors. | Broke up with my boyfriend of four months due to not controlling my depressive emotions and have now started spiralling into something terrible. |
t3_4bur5v | askwomenadvice | I asked a woman out; can you ladies give input on her response? | I'm a [30M] who is recently divorced and today I went to look at a townhouse for sale close to where I'll soon be working. I met the real estate agent as she [24F] (estimate) was unlocking the door and she proceeded to show me the place. Trying to be respectful to her and not put her on the spot while she's in the course of her professional duties, I called her about an hour later. After the pleasantries were out of the way:
Me: "I wanted to know, as your potential client, would it be inappropriate to ask you out?"
Her: *pause, then laughter at the unexpected curveball I threw:* "Umm...well, I don't want to say inappropriate. But I think that wouldn't be the best thing at this moment."
Me: "Fair enough."
Her: "But if you wanted to like, get coffee or something, I could do that! If you could let me know what days work for you, and we could figure something out..."
Me: "Sure, that sounds great."
The rest was us talking about which days we had open and we settled on next Monday (3/28). I texted her an hour ago asking what time works for her (anytime after 10am), and I told her I'd call her on Sunday night. We closed with:
Her: "Ok sounds good, it was a pleasure meeting you"
Me: "You as well"
Personally I feel good about the whole interaction, as this is the first time in a long time that this kind of back-and-forth didn't leave me feeling like a loser. But women, based on this, what do you think? If you need any clarification please ask. | Asked out the realtor that showed me a townhouse I'm interested in; verbal exchange did not go badly; seeking female opinions. |
t3_1u0zjv | relationship_advice | How can I [23/f] get my husband [23/f] to stop blaming me for everything? | My husband has been excessively mean lately. If something goes wrong he somehow twists it to be my fault. Just this morning we went out to put gas in the car before he dropped me off at work. I asked him on the drive if he had his debit card and he said yes. When we got there he realized he actually didn't have his card. Instead of saying something like, "oh I thought I had it, do you have yours? No, well crap let's figure this out." He immediately started saying it was completely fault for not bringing my card. I asked him how it was my fault and he started going off about how I never have it and always rely on him. This is grossly untrue, I almost always have it on me. I generally have mine with me more than he does. (Btw, our account is joined, both cards go to the same account) Then he started going off about how I always steal his phone charger (also untrue) and just being nasty.
If I ask him to do something, like take out the trash or help me put something together, he either ignores me or tells me he'll do it later. Later never comes apparently. But if he asks me to do something and it doesn't get done immediately or not to his specifications, he gets mad and tells me off.
He's been like this for several weeks now and I've talked to him about it many times. Telling him it's hurting my feelings and what not, asking if there is an underlying issue. Half the time he tries to joke his way out of the conversation or tell me I'm being too sensitive and the other half he gives me an apology and tells me he'll get better. That lasts about an hour and then something gets him riled again and he starts throwing blame and going on about something I have (in his opinion) done wrong. | Husband is twisting everything to blame me and generally being a jerk. Says he'll get better but keeps getting worse. |
t3_1nexx3 | offmychest | I'm conflicted about going for a girl because she's overweight and it's making me feel like a superficial asshole. | I got really drunk at a friend's house party and met her for the first time. We hit it off really well (pretty rare for me since I'm not the most social person) and went to her house after the party. We watched movies and had some leftovers in the fridge. Nothing sexual happened but we snuggled the entire time and I even kissed her forehead at some point.
Fast forward a few days. I've crept her facebook fairly thoroughly at this point and we've been texting since we met. I can tell she's waiting for me to ask her out. And parts of me want to, but I don't. Because she's chubby. Not overweight, just chubby. And I feel like a goddamn asshole because I always thought judging people by looks alone is just unfair. But yet I can't get over her weight. | not dating a chubby girl who's personality I like. Turns out I am one of those superficial assholes I hate. |
t3_m0vdz | dogs | Rescued this cute Pit-x off the side of the road, need some med advice about how to proceed. | I'm going to take her to the no kill shelter tomorrow, but for the next 12 hours, I need some advice.
[Blurry pics!](
Hard to keep her still because she's trying so hard to ingratiate herself.
I have two other pit mixes, like her but bigger. They seem to like her alright. I gave her a pill to get the fleas off of her, so they shouldn't be a problem. My dogs get worm meds every month because hookworms are an epidemic around here, so I'm not concerned about that. I am concerned about: the rash on her ass and whatever it is I don't know about dogs, which is a lot. ear mites? is that a thing? i don't know! Hungarian humping disease? Is that a thing? Christ, I hope not. What are the risks?
Also, I have a 3 month old baby that I don't want getting roundworm (or anything.) | I need some quick, crowd-sourced wisdom to figure out if this little girl is going to sleep on the porch tonight in a blanket or on a pillow in front of the fireplace. |
t3_f4yii | AskReddit | Wat do when nothing's wrong, but nothing feels right? | I was going to head over to /r/SuicideWatch with this, but I'm not really hurting all that badly, I guess. I don't want to waste resources there when I'm sure there are folks in more desperate need than me.
What do "normal" people do when things feel empty? When you feel numb and alone even though you're surrounded by loved ones? Do normal people even get these feelings of hopelessness, or do they just bump around their day-to-day lives and go with the flow?
I'm not normal. I'm a grown woman and I hurt myself on a daily basis. I should probably seek help. But that's what a sick person would do. What I'm interested in knowing is what a "normal" or "sane" or "less fucked up" person would do in these circumstances. Move on? Talk to a friend? Sleep it off? Drink it away?
Tonight I'm going to sleep it off and I'm almost hoping I don't have to wake up tomorrow to face another day of pain with no discernable cause. There is nothing wrong; there is no crisis here. I am loved and I am not Forever Alone, but sometimes I wish I was not loved and that everyone would shun me. | How does a "normal", "sane" person deal with feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness, etc. when these feelings come up for no reason? Or do normal people not feel these emotions... |
t3_3z6bty | relationships | My [30 M] roommate thinks [27 M] I'm homophobic after, what I feel, was an harmless joke. | I've been living with my roommate for the last 3 years. I felt things had been alright with us until a recent conversation in which some miscommunication happened. He starts by saying that he used to practice piano in Catholic Church.
I then say, "Wow, I can't imagine you in a Catholic Church. Yeah, the Catholic's sure do like to beat God out of ya." So then he responds, "Yeah, and beat it on ya too." We both laugh, and then I started to talk about how that joke reminded me of a scene in The Office UK, in which David Brent opens a meeting with something similar.
I don't remember exactly how it goes, but it was something along the lines of, "What did one priest say to another when helping the choir boys? You're coming on a little queer." Honestly, it seemed like he didn't even listen to most of what I said, and when I was finished he looked hurt and offended (my roommate is a homosexual).
The day after he had a friend over to which he was talking about me, and I overheard him say that I'm an asshole.
I really like my roommate, and would do anything to keep things friendly between us. I don't think I said anything wrong or directed any homophobia his way. | I made a joke to my roommate that I feel he took the wrong way. He now seems to hate me. How do I remedy this? |
t3_2pwm3s | tifu | TIFU by hitting myself with a 10lb brick. | This happened a few years ago, but I got reminded of it because I can still feel it.
So, I was at my Buddy's house, lets call him "Buddy". So buddy and I had just made slingshots out of clothes hangers and rubber bands, and used those spiny nuts on trees for ammo. We decided to build a tree fort in his front yard, and we got started. A few hours later it looked like a regular tree, with a few baskets of ammo, and a few boards to climb on. With a tripwire trap at the bottom.
I had this amazing idea to take this fat ass brick from his garage and tie it to the tree, so that of anyone walks near and trips the wire, the brick swings down from the tree branch. Genius, right? Well my buddy thinks its dangerous, and says to disarm it when not in the tree... Wuss.
Buddy slips and kicks a basket of ammo out of the tree, this was my basket, so I call him a tard as all best friends do, and climbed down to fetch it. After picking up around half of the ammo, I hear a *TWANG* noise. I then realize what that was, and in my current crouching state, this fat ass 10lb brick is swinging en route with my left temple.
I jump back like a Naruto ninja, and instead of hitting my head, the truck hits my knee, and turns me about 30' degrees mid air.
I hobble on into the house, with "I told you so, HAHAHAHAHA" echoing behind me.
It was fun as fuck though I am not gonna lie. | Set up tripwire, tripped it myself on accident, bigass brick smacked the side of my kneecap. |
t3_2xua1w | relationships | Me [33F] with my ___ [26M] 3.5 years, I'm banned from going out with him and his new friends in a new location | We've had mutual friends before and he's always welcome to join my friends. He rejects my friends because he thinks they're "social retards". And he's banned me from going out with his new friends since we've moved to a more upscale location -- sort of one of those "trendy" places to live. We moved here both with no friends and are trying to make some. I work from home, so I'm behind to start. Not a big deal though.
I moved with him to be with him after 3 years together already. I'm working full time, in shape, and planning on returning to school for second degree (just to give you an idea about me).
He admits to acting differently when he goes out alone - sort of a "cool kid" act. He didn't tell me voluntarily. I did get to go out once and his personality totally changed. It wasn't him anymore. I asked if he was still doing this and he didn't want me to see it.
______________________________
A little history to see where we're coming from (if needed):
-- His dad thinks I'm not good enough for him. I don't come from money like he does and I'm not the greatest at the whole social thing but I have my friends. That may be the reason but no reason was actually stated.
-- Has a female friend who made fun of my age for a whole weekend and he sided with her. He didn't understand why that bothered me and avoided me when I tried to talk to him and work it out with her.
____________________________________
What am I supposed to make of this? I like the guy and all but the whole ban thing and lack of mutual friends from his side after this long is making me pretty miserable. I find myself being negative and antisocial a lot because it's wearing on me. It's not a cheating thing. I just feel like I'm being hidden due to his wanting to climb the social ladder? Can't really figure it out. Is it our history or where I come from or just how I am? | Banned from going out with BF's new friends in new location. He doesn't want me to "ruin what he's established so far". |
t3_xmje6 | AskReddit | What unreasonable reactions have your parents had to something you did? | My mom was the most unreasonable person when I was growing up and even more so when I was in high school. Here's one reason why: When I was finishing up my Spring semester at a local community college, I decided that I wanted to go to our state university. I got everything taken care of, (applied, financial aid for full coverage, etc), but couldn't tell her I was doing this because I knew she would flip out. She managed to get the mail one day before I was able to, opened the copy of the FAFSA, that I believe had to be signed and mailed back in and she ripped it up in front of me. (yes, she opened my mail). She screamed at me that I was not leaving her house to go to college and I was to stay living with her. She went on to tell me that I was a horrible person, that I was too stupid to go to college and would fail out immediately. She also wanted me to go another year to the community college because she would force me to sign over the left over financial aid money to her. (Yup, you got it, she honestly thought that money belonged to her and not me and I had to sign it over to her or be kicked out). She put together some boxes, threw them in my room and told me if I was making my own decision to go to a university, I had to pack my stuff and get out. It took weeks, but things ended up fine and I went to school like a normal human being. | my mom was crazy, didn't want me to go to college, told me I was too stupid and gave me boxes to pack my stuff, attempting to kick me out. Ended up fine about a month later. |
t3_30ljaf | relationships | Me [23 M] with my just girlfriend [21 F], rushed in fast now says she wants to take it slowly? | I've been seeing this girl for around 3 months. We've been texting back and forth everyday since then. It all started with a hookup, since then we've been on 2 dates and had sex on both of those dates.
While we were talking about something I said jokingly 'why don't you just become my gf' at which point she just looked at me and and said 'sure why not'. The conversation turned serious and she said she wanted to take it slowly and it shouldn't be so official yet. Because we've only been on two dates...
Now we're having a third date tomorrow, but she makes it clear she doesn't want to sleep over. Meaning she will go back home after the date. This will be our first date as couple.
We've been having some petty fights over stupid stuff since then, those fights always get resolved in the end. She texts me hugs and kisses and still reacts positively when i talk about having sex. Not sure what's going on.
I have the feeling she saw me as just a hookup, but now takes me seriously as a bf. What should I do? Is this normal?! Did I fuck up? | Accidently rushed into a relationship, says she wants to take it slow. Seeing her tomorrow, not sure how to proceed. |
t3_4aep5z | relationships | Me [37/M] with my StepMother [54/F] I feel a series of events has made continuing this relationship impossible. | In late 2010 my Dad had a massive stroke that will leave him in a skilled nursing facility for the remainder of his life. In 2014 she decided that while she is still married to my Dad that she would start seeing people again. At first I ignored it but there was a Thanksgiving Dinner that myself and my wife were hosting and she asked if she could bring her new boyfriend. We said No and she was persistent in asking. It all came to a head and we said Absolutely Not and Don't bother coming yourself.
Strike One
A few months go by and she reaches out to us for one reason or another and we invite her to a birthday dinner for me. She insulted my Mom(Dads 1st wife) in front of a large group of people. I did not hear about from my Mom until several months later.
Strike Two
Even though we are not that close she friended all of my friends and family on Facebook despite not really knowing them at all. She reached out behind my back to a friend that works for Disney asking her for free park passes despite only having met her once. I was mortified and humiliated upon hearing this.
Strike Three
This past week my 1/2 sister was hospitalized for mental health issues. She facebooked message my Wife and my Brother but not me for some reason.
Strike Four
So she is openly cheating on my Dad and pulls all of this other shit mentioned above and I did not care for her that much before all of this. Is there any reason to continue speaking with her at all? | Step Mom is openly cheating on my Dad while he is on a nursing facility. Constantly steps on toes and pisses everyone off. |
t3_4qglkp | relationships | Me [36 M] suspect that my spouse [33F] is trying to hide something from me. | So there is this guy at her work that she spends a lot of time chatting with. She tells me "You might hear rumors about me having an affair with ....".
Now I have always trusted my gf to be faithful and have not heard any rumors personally but she is being weird with her phone lately. She never lets it leave her sight. She almost panics when I go near it. She left her Facebook open and all of her conversations with this friend of hers have been deleted (possible that they only text on the phone, but he is at the top of her chat list).
I know it's wrong for me to be checking this, but this is the only person on Facebook she (possibly) deletes her conversations with. When I asked to use her phone she took it from me and went to the dial selection ensuring that I did not veer from only making this phone call. She never used to be this way with her phone. Often when she returns from work, she says"So there's another rumour going around about me and ...." The other day she came home from work 2 hours late with the reason being "The delivery guy showed up late so I had to stick around".
Maybe its just me but it just seems like she is trying to hide something. How should I approach this situation?
I should also note The "friend" has similar issues as I do (PTSD). Perhaps she just vents and he offers her guidance on how to deal with it? Maybe she deletes the conversations because she thinks I might take it the wrong way. I feel like she truly loves and cares for me.
Yesterday she told me she had to work an event for 2-3 hours. I checked the place of business hours and it said they were not open until 4 (She had to work at 11am). I thought this was my chance to have some "for sure" evidence. Went to her place of employment (bartender) and sure enough, she was there..At work.
Am I just being paranoid in trying to find something that is not there? | Suspect something is up with my spouse considering how she won't let me go anywhere near her phone and shows up late after her workplace closes. |
t3_4bhg2a | legaladvice | Paying rent in escrow | We moved into a new home Feb 26th. I have an e-mail prior to this date requesting the total of everything due before move in. The leasing agent listed deposit, prorated feb rent, march rent, and pet deposit. Now the company is stating we owe a $70.00 application fee 2 months after our application was approved. We were not asked to pay this fee up front, and this fee isn't in the e-mail requesting a total before move-in and IS NOT ON THE LEASE.
The manage refuses to remove the $70.00 fee and states they will begin charging us a $75.00 late fee on it if we don't pay it. Here is the lease's section on late fees:
a. Late Fees: If Landlord does not receive a Rent payment (i) in the full
amount due and payable, (ii) at the designated place of payment and (iii) in the
manner described on page 1 above by 11:59 PM of the 5th day of each calendar
month, Tenant will be assessed a Late Fee, which is subject to change from time
to time by Landlord in its sole discretion, upon reasonable notice to Tenant. For
purposes of paying Rent and/or Late Fees, the mailbox is not deemed to be
Landlord's "agent for receipt" (i.e., the postmark date will not be deemed the
date Landlord receives the payment). The Parties agree that Late Fees are based
on a reasonable estimate of uncertain damages to Landlord that are incapable of
precise calculation and result from untimely payments of Rent. Landlord's
acceptance of a Late Fee does not waive Landlord's right to exercise remedies
under law or equity or under Section 16 of this Lease.
From what I can tell they cannot charge a late fee on the application fee, only on rent.
So my question is, can I begin to pay rent into escrow starting in April to encourage them to remove this $70.00 fee that they are refusing to waive?
Also, how do I do this? Ohio resident. | = Landlord forgot to charge application fee. Added it on 2 months late its not in lease, can i pay rent into escrow? |
t3_n6bt9 | self | I'm having a hard time deciding if I should quit my job... | I work as a waiter in a Steak House kind of Restaurant. My Co-Workers are nice, but I don't feel like I fit in with a 'Team'.
Not only this, but lately for whatever reason customers tell my managers that I am rude. I am never given specific ways I am, and I don't think I am. I always speak with manners to everyone.
I'm just really confused as to what to do... I don't feel like I fit in, I am slowly becoming depressed going to work and it is causing me to screw up making me more upset. So if anyone has any advice or tips, I would be more than happy to read them and take it to heart. | Work is making me upset, I don't know if I should quit or if it is something I need to change about myself. |
t3_33q7xj | relationships | My [25m] GF [25f] of a year, told me she was out with work colleagues tonight but her iPhone finder says otherwise. | My girlfriend has told me she was out in the city after work for a leaving party for a bunch of colleagues. She also said that she was working overtime till later before heading out with everyone else.
Now I have access to her iPhone finder (which she is not aware of and I know how shitty that is) and that told me not only had she left the office an hour and a half earlier than she said (whilst still saying to me on messenger that she was still in the office) but she has also now just gone home...
I just can't wrap my head around why she would say these things and continue to lie to me about it.
How would you handle this situation? Would you confront her about it? Or if she is home would you just let it be and see if she mentions anything tomorrow about the night before? Follow-up being that if she continues to lie about being out tonight would you confront her then? | GF says she is having a night out on the town, lies and actually just goes home whilst still saying she is out... |
t3_1paduh | relationships | Im in love with my exboyfriends dad (19f) (42m) | So not a throwaway, but Im in love with lets call him S.
So 6 months ago my parents kicked me to the curb, and I had nowhere to go. S&K( my exs parents) took me in as their own child. K always treated me like a daughter, she always wanted one. And S, well I always thought he was attractive but never really acted on it, he was a dad to me.
Cut to last tuesday. I moved out of their house at the end of september but I regularily go over because Im considered family over there. I go to the house and only S is home. K and her other two sons were out and about. So we are just sitting on the couch and S asked me why I still slept with his son and what not. We keep talking like this and then S tells me that he cheats on K and they have an open marriage. He says he thinks it would be nice to have sex with a 19 y/o who he knows wouldnt say anything. Me. He says he misses me living with him and that he doesnt love K.
I love K like a mom and yes I do want to have sex with S, I dont know if I could live with the guilt. Shes more my mom, than my real mom is.
What can I do? | My ex bfs dad cheats on his wife and has hinted he'd like to have sex with me. I want to, but not sure what to do. |
t3_553sfs | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend[17 F] she teases me then stops its frustrating | Ok so I have a problem. My GF and I had a really good sex life in the beginning, we couldn't get enough from each other. Since then she changed.
Whenever she's at my home or I'm at hers and I start to make a move she seemingly gets into it, makes me horny, grinds on my, lets me play with her boobs, takes my hands to her parts...and then when I try to move on she finds an excuse why she can't have sex right now...she gotta go home or she's not feeling well, whatever. If it happened a few times, ok, it's alright. But it's almost *everytime* we get into it.
I think it's just to make me horny, So she can feel good and being desired and that I want it and she can choose...it might be the power she likes about it....
Because whenever I'm just playin cold and not really answering her kisses or grinding, she basically gets naked and unzips my pants and starts working it. Is it because she feels like she has to get me? If I show her I want her, she blocks me. If I just pretend to not give a shit she gets all touchy and more or less undresses us both^^
We have a few problems in our relationship but sex was never an issue, but I guess it's because of the other problems.
What can I do to stop this behaviour? I don't feel like blocking her all the time since I like to show excitement too, and foreplay is fun so I don't really appreciate it when she gets me hard and gets the fuck out. I wouldn't mind if it just happened by coincidence but she always blocks me on purpose..at least it feels like it.
How should I talk with her about it? Just imagine being teased for ages and when you think you're gonna bambam the ham she just stops...frustrating as hell, and every man will understand that even a certain anger comes up..
Also I don't understand because the sex was great for the first months and she would initiate as often as me | My GF likes to tease me and get excited for sex, then stops because she doesn't feel like it. What should I do? |
t3_4gluqc | relationships | I [25m] need advise about splitting up with my [23f] fiance. We have been together for 6 years. Please help if you can. | I need some advise... My fiance and I have been together for about 6 years. During this time she has decided that intimate contact was non essential. For about 5 of the 6 years we have had sex maybe 1 time per year. I have talked with her every few months during this time and I have communicated that I needed more from her.
Very recently I decided that I had enough and decided to break things off. And she begged for another chance and I caved. And she has been trying I think but I'm just feeling like I'm not in love anymore so I officially ended it.
Recently I have been chatting up a co-worker and it's been a lot of fun and what not but I can't help but feel like I made a mistake. | How do I know if my relationship is worth saving? Please ask anything you feel is relevant and I will answer to the best of my ability. |
t3_1jjfk3 | relationships | I need outside perspective, I want to not be the crazy mean step mom. | So today I'm at work and my spouse(5+ years, 27f/39m) texts me that he bought a china tea set for his 13 year old daughter because 'That's what she wants' even though I have NEVER seen her drink hot tea or ask for it when I'm drinking it from the pot of water I boil daily for my own cup.
The only reason she got the idea was Monday I went to teavana and while waiting for my tea we looked at the pretty tea sets, then made our way to Starbucks for her requested frappe(our day out together). So I said it was dumb to but such an elaborate obviously random thing for someone who changes what they want more than they do their underwear, now we aren't on speaking terms because he feels I've called him personally dumb, not the action.
It's a waste of money to me, she gets on a plane back to D.C. Sunday to go back to her mom, and we are supposed to cram this expensive thing in her checked bag with her flip flops, big bang theory posters and one direction tshirts??!! And hope the thing doesn't break, so that it can go collect dust at her mom's and be broken by next year like the (sturdier) keyboard he bought a couple years back was within a couple months, better investment because she played the shit out of it and plays with mine here.
I drink tea everyday and offer it to her when she is awake and she says no. I'm only mentioning that to stress that she doesn't drink tea.
Thank you in advance. Sorry if anything is worded badly. | Spouse made a stupid purchase for kid, mad because I said it was dumb to buy tea set for 13 y/o that doesn't drink tea. |
t3_g1grf | relationships | Girlfriends overprotective father makes me really uncomfortable with threats, am I overreacting? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 7 months. I'm 18, she is 16. Once in a while her dad has "private" drunken discussions with me saying that he'll rip my balls off if I don't take the relationship seriously. I know many fathers protect their daughters and assume all guys are there for sex, and I understand it, but constantly having those talks, and him saying how he's going to fuck me up (literally his words) if this and that is making me uneasy, even though I have never done anything to provoke such a response. I watch my manners and never say no to helping around their house. (Shovel the snow, help vacuum, etc)
I feel threatened when going over to her house now because her dad is there all the time. On top of that he has talks with her on how he's going to rip my balls off if one time he catches us doing something we're not supposed to.
It has gotten to the point that I flat out refuse coming over to her place. Her overprotective dad and his constant threats are making me VERY uneasy. Now I feel that her house is a hostile environment.
Am I overreacting? How should I deal with this problem? | Girlfriends overprotective dad constantly threatens me for no given reason. I'm afraid of him and refuse coming over to her house. Am I overreacting and how do I solve the issue I'm having? |
t3_z6wnn | loseit | How much is too much? | I made a serious change to my diet two weeks ago today - I cut out all processed sugar and am eating as few carbs as I can in general, while focusing on eating more protein.
I've been using MyFitnessPal to count calories, and it told me I should be eating about 1900 calories a day to lose two pounds a week. I thought to myself, "Man, that seems too high", and have actually been eating between 1200 and 1500 a day.
I stepped on the scale this morning to find that I'd lost 9 pounds (yes, NINE) in the past week. Adding that to an eight-pound loss the previous week (which I attributed to being water weight) and I'm a little worried that I'm overdoing it. Should I be sticking closer to MFP's recommendations? I'm a 22-year-old guy who started at 274 lbs two weeks ago. Was at 266 last Saturday and weighed in at 257 an hour ago.
I'm not ridiculously active - I've been riding an exercise bike a couple of times per week and occasionally going for walks. My mother, who minored in health education in college, gave me a stern talking-to this morning when I told her how much I'd lost.
From all my number-crunching, I'm fairly sure I've been getting all my necessary nutrients (I also started taking vitamins again as part of my new routine), so I guess my question is this: is there anything inherently bad about losing too much weight in a short period of time? | 6'3"/M/22, went from 274 lbs to 257 lbs in two weeks; am I overdoing it? |
t3_14lm06 | relationships | [f 20] I feel like we have started the beginning of the end and I'm sure I have the patience to deal with the process. | Okay,
We have been dating for approx 2 years now. The other night we went out and he wasn't being himself, he was ignoring me, he just kinda sat in the corner the whole time.
The end of the night I heard him say something about me to one of his friends when he thought I couldn't hear him he said "I give her everything and she treats me like shit" We honestly had no confrontation at that point.
Later that night we talked and he insisted nothing was wrong. The next day I called him and gave him one last chance to talk. He told me that I wasn't really meeting his standards and that he thinks he spoiled me by doing nice things for me. Things like bringing coffee to me at work, giving me rides when he can, just little favours you do for one another. The thing is I do these things for him as well, so it is a two way street.
But he said I wasn't meeting his standards anymore because I wasn't putting enough effort into our relationship apparently.
Later he apologized and said he didn't mean it, he just wished I could dedicate more time to him. The thing is, I'm in school, I work two jobs, I volunteer places, I wouldn't call myself a person who has free time to toss around. So the amount I'm seeing him (3 times a week) I thought, should be enough but he doesn't feel that way.
We haven't spoken about it for a month now but I can tell he is thinking things that he's not telling me. I have asked him several times and he keeps saying there's nothing.
Any ways, I feel as though he's bored and doesn't want to admit it. I feel like he doesn't want to be the 'bad guy' by telling me his feelings but I don't think I can handle all the thinking about it, the wondering if everything's okay, so yeah. I have no clue what the hell to do.
and I have tried talking to him. So many times. | Boyfriend tells me I'm not putting enough effort in to the relationship, I am putting as much as I can in. I believe he is getting bored and won't tell me. |
t3_t2f0x | AskReddit | I think I screwed up a friendship and I need help to mend it. | Hey guys,
so basically me and this girl (I'm a guy btw) started talking like a month and a half ago and had a really good friendship going. A few days ago, I decide to ask her out. She rejects me. Now I feel a disconnect between us and I really don't know why. I feel okay with being just friends because she's cool and she's a girl I'd like to be friends with. I'm over the whole rejection, but she just seems a lot more distant now and I'm pretty depressed about it. Like I said, I thought we were pretty close. I think she feels that I was being fake just to get her to like me, while I really wasn't and I really want to fix our friendship. Sorry for the rambling, I'm just really upset over it. I always had a hard time making friends and losing them for me is super painful. | Guy becomes close friend w/ girl, guy asks girl out, girl rejects guy, guy over rejection but girl is now distant, guy wants to fix friendship |
t3_eps4i | AskReddit | People of Reddit, what's wrong with me? | I'm 20 years old and I feel like I'm dying. Over the past couple of years I've had some irritating aches and pains and no health insurance. Currently, I have health insurance through my school, but I won't have any money to spare (at all) until next month at the earliest. I hate doing these kinds of posts, but if ANYONE has ANY idea how serious these symptoms are it'd be great. I don't know if I just have a low tolerance for the average amount of pain, or if my limbs are going to fall off.
Things you should know:
I'm bulimic. It's not as bad as it was and I'm now at a healthy weight but I still throw up everyday
I'm a vegetarian
I get faint rather frequently, but it doesn't coincide with my eating habits
My hands go numb. About a year ago (when I was a cashier) this would be an every night/morning occurrence. They would tingle and cramp. Recently, it feels like my joints are scraping together in a really painful way.
As I'm typing this, my right arm is throbbing like I might have worked out (but I haven't.) It feels like the blood flow is messed up somehow and I have to hold it up to keep it a dull ache
It's gotten to be relatively cold here and my hands have been turning blue... really blue.
I banged my head pretty bad last week and have been having headaches ever since
I had brown/black discharge for about a week before starting a VERY heavy period.
I generally feel very weak. I tried getting on a ladder tonight and couldn't stand for more than a minute before having to sit down.
HELP! I don't know if these are commonplace things that I'm blowing out of proportion, or I'm in serious trouble health-wise. I know, I know: clinics.... blah blah blah... doctor... but we don't have much in my area and my car is currently not working. | I feel weak and achy, but can't go to the doctor. Am I being a hypochondriac? |
t3_4xxu9r | relationships | How do I [M21] overcome my insecurities and fear of my girlfriend [F20] leaving me for someone else? | I've had a couple of girlfriends in my life, and each time we break up it's because there's been someone else in the picture. Now I'm lucky enough that I haven't been cheated on (that I know of) but there's always been a guy that pops up in my current girlfriend's life who then proceed to talk to them all the time, until I get broken up with. Usually they use the phrase "I want to try something new," or "I want to be single for a while." Inevitably, however, they always end up with that guy.
So I'm insecure a lot. And in a probably not all that ironic twist of fate I became that guy. I started talking to my girlfriend, who was kinda seeing but not super official with a guy, and we bonded immediately. And while we talked via text, she avoided me mostly in person because I think she was afraid that something would happen between us. Now, in this story her guy ended things with her, but there's still that thought in the back of my head that she has done the same thing as my other girlfriends.
So it's hard. I'm insecure, and I suffer from bouts of depression so it's hard to stay optimistic. My girlfriend has been on vacation for like a month now, and I'm terrified that maybe she started talking to someone who maybe down the line she'll want to be with instead of me. It's stupid and immature and ridiculous, I know, but when you get hurt a bunch you want to just cover your heart.
And I want to trust her. I just don't exactly know how in this matter. She's much more attractive than me too, absolutely beautiful, I just try to do my best to be a good guy that she wants to be with. Just have that fear in the back of my head, I don't know why. We've been together for over 6th months too, if that's any help.
Thanks for you help. | I'm very insecure about the idea that my girlfriend might start talking to someone that she'll ultimately want to be with over me someday. |
t3_2iciid | relationships | I'm [18F] am starting to hate my best friend [18M], getting to the point where I feel sick just talking to him | Alright, I have a best friend named Tyler. I've know him for 9 years and half of those years we've had a pretty close friendship, to the point were we'd talk everyday. We're even trying to write a story together, but recently things have just... kind of gone bad. For the last couple of months we've just been fighting and arguing, and it got to a point were I've felt physically sick talking to him.
The first time it really hit me was about a month ago when Tyler got mad at me, cause he found out I smoked weed. He didn't talk to me for a week and when I finally got in contact with him, I told him it was just a joke and wasn't true to avoid the unnecessary argument. He told me if I ever drank or smoked that he'd end our friendship right there (Which don't get me started on that). So I just went with it and decided to not tell him what I do. After we "made up", I felt this sick feeling in my stomach talking to him, like I felt hatred for him that I've never felt before, it was weird. At the time I just went with it and soon enough the feeling passed.
Recently, it came back when he got a girlfriend. Now, I'm really happy he has a girlfriend, in fact I've been helped him with her, but ever since they've been dating he's been acting well... kind of like a dick. As long as I've known Tyler, he's never been too bold, especially when it came to relationships, But now that he's with this girl all he talks about his fucking her and he has this random over confident attitude that's just annoying, he's like the stereotypical jock in the movies! I get he's a hormonal teenager, but damn.
It's gotten to the point where the sick feeling has come back and I don't know what to do. I just texted him that I'd be gone for a few days and would talk to him in a week so I can get over this sickly feeling. I'm considering just dropping him completely just because of all the arguing lately and the change of attitude, but I don't know... | I've been arguing way too much with best friend lately. He acts way too over confident and it's annoying. Getting physically sick jusy talking to him, thinking about cutting of ties, but skeptical. |
t3_2wxnmm | personalfinance | Something smells fishy about this situtation | All,
I am uneasy about a financial situation I have gotten myself in. I am worried that I could be being scammed but I don't see how yet. Can someone please help me and tell me if I am missing anything? I realize at this point is may/may not be too late, I probably should have asked earlier.
Here are the details:
I put an add on craigslist for tutoring, I am not a certified professional and did not claim to be, so I offered some cheap math/science tutoring at a low price since I am an engineering grad student. I get a reply, a lady that lives in D.C. and works for the U.N. wants me to tutor her son while he is vising internationally. OK, fine. So she proposes this arrangement where she sends me some additional money on top of the proposed fee and I am to send this money to her son's caretaker via moneygram when I receive it. All she asked for is my address. I reluctantly provide it. Well today I received a check from "New Venture Fund" for about $3000. I am charging her $200 for 20 hours of tutoring over the next 1 month, none of which I have actually provided yet. I have not received the instructions for forwarding the remainder.
- What should I look out for?
- Did I already get mixed in something sketchy? | I got a check from a random stranger for $3000 for payment for a service I have not provided yet, which costs $200. I am not sure what to do. |
t3_2rbko4 | relationships | Me [16 M] with my Parents, I don't think Online School is working for me | During my Freshmen year of high school I was stupid and unfortunately got bad grades. D's C's (US School system). I had gotten C's and B's through 6th and 8th grade. Sophmore year my parents decided it was best that they would micromanage me and put me in online school.
I feel like I have not learned a single thing this year. Now I have tried telling my parents that, my mother always tells me to tell my Dad because she never wants to listen to what I have to say. My father is a whole different problem. He is stubborn, and always wants to be right. I've sat down with him and told him "I feel this is not working, I haven't learned much this year". He believes that I am not trying hard enough, he thinks I'm giving excuses.
I personally despise online school. Sure it may be an amazing way for other students to learn but I just don't get it. The is no way I can "adapt" to it or feel more comfortable.
Leading to another point. I am not allowed to do anything until I get to the right percentage in my work. So say Im %1 I must work until Im at least %.5 ahead. This leaves me not being able to see friends much. I have spent my whole winter break working. (All except Christmas day with the family.). But this is really just making me unhappy.
Thanks for reading | I'm home schooled, It sucks. I rarely see friends due to controlling parents. I feel like i havent learned anything this year |
t3_4vmqej | relationships | I [22F] a really great OkCupid first date [26m] yesterday, and we made plans for another date. Now I'm really nervous. | So last night I went on a date with someone from OkCupid. It was a nice date, we talked a lot, and we made out in a rainstorm. We hung out for hours before he kissed me, and I probably wouldn't have felt comfortable kissing him any sooner. We made plans to meet up again, with the expectation we would have sex (more on his part than on mine).
I woke up this morning, and instead of feeling delighted/giddy, I feel nervous/apprehensive. I used to love falling into bed with people, but now I feel like I want to know someone first. I don't know that I want to have sex with him, because I don't know him.
How do I balance giving him a chance, with being true to myself and my boundaries? I don't want to scare him away, but I also want to be honest about not being ready to just jump into bed with him. He's read my erotica, and knows that it involves a lot of pushy guys. However, while that turns me on in real life, it also isn't something I want from a stranger, or even from someone I'm casually dating. Consent is really important to me.
I guess, maybe I'm cautious about guys from online, because three years ago, the first one I met sexually assaulted me. I've learned how to communicate better since then, but I still let myself do more than I'm comfortable with if I think it's expected. I'm irrationally scared that if I say no the same thing will happen again, even though I don't think this guy is like that.
I feel nervous/scared, and it's making me not want to meet this guy again. I want to give him a real chance, though.
How do I communicate my fear, without scaring him off? | great first date (making out in rain), set a second date, guy assumes I'll sleep with him, I'm now nervous. How do I tell him I don't want to sleep with him, without scaring him away? |
t3_2u94q0 | relationships | I'm (28M) having trouble dealing with some resentment towards my wife (28f)..could marriage counseling help? | My wife and I have been married for 3 years. At least one of which was entirely consumed with an episode of depression which left me out of work for 5 months and on paid leave for 7. It was a rough time but I really tried my best to keep it together for her.
She knew about my mental health issues long before, however during that time she felt that she never knew it could be this bad. She was supportive 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time she pulled far away from me. Our sex life, which has never been volumus, became non existent. It later came out that me being so pitiful wasn't attractive. She drank a lot and socialized a lot. It was very hard on her and she felt like she couldn't connect with me, and that I couldn't be there to support her as she didn't want to stress me out.
We had some pretty epic fights. And she said some very hurtful things. There were a few times where I really felt like it was over. Her resentment towards me was palpable at times.
Fast forward almost 8 months now and I'm back on my feet and then some. I have a great job, have lost weight and am in great health. She feels awful for the way she felt and the things she said. I've forgiven her and do understand how hard it must have been to a certain extent, but part of me now feels resentment towards the way she made me feel. I feel that in my weakest hours, she wasn't there for me, and instead, pushed me even further towards the darkness.
I struggle with trying to understand where she was at back then and forgiving her. It's never easy to be with someone with mental health issues...but I am struggling to not replay those awful fights and some of the things she said to me, and the way she made me feel.
Could counseling help us? | Was a depressed mope, wife pulled away and resented me...now I'm better and I'm resentful. |
t3_yjyzl | relationships | My girlfriend 20/f and I 18/m just broke up because she wasn't able to handle our 2000+ mile long distance relationship. Reddit what advice do you have for long distance relationships. | We met through World of Warcraft, she lived in BC Canada, and I live in Illinois. I went to see her twice for about a month of time total. We were dating for about 8 months.
Over the course of our 8 month relationship I was able to go and see her 3 times for about a month of time total.
She has a son of about 20 months old I believe (No it wasn't mine).
We broke up because she said that my never being there caused her to be so depressed she felt unfit to care for her son.
What advice does anyone have about what I should have done differently so as not to make the same mistakes twice. | My girlfriend 20/f and I 18/m broke up because of our 2000+ mile long distance relationship. What advice do you have for long distance relationships. |
t3_1vti8r | tifu | TIFU by slightly moving my brother's speaker | So, I did something stupid today.
We're waiting for our niece and nephew to come home, and we have a small pointless argument about "who should go unlock the door."
I told him that if he didn't do it, I would move something in his room. I did just that. I slightly (literally, a few centimeters) moved his speaker.
Hours later, I hear him scream out my name is this loud ass voice. He looks at me with sheer evil in his eyes. He's yelling like a madman, and I'm genuinely terrified.
But you know, I put a blank expression. He gets so angry that he decides to punch the damn door.
And now, there's a huge crack in the wooden door. And Dad's coming home soon.
My brother's fucking crazy. And I mean that in a bad way. | Pissed off brother by moving speaker a few centimeters, he punched a hole in my door. Dad's going to kill us. |
t3_15n9vy | relationship_advice | [16m] I want to start a relationship with a friend [16f] but there's so much stuff going on. Please help? | I want to start a relationship with a relatively good friend of mine, who I believe in the past may have had a thing for me, but I didnt realize it. Anyways now shes all I think about. I feel she likes some of our mutual friends alot more than me, but as far as I can tell I dont think they like her. That being said, I think she might, just might still have a thing for me but I really dont know. I found out she slept with another friend of mine, and they both know that I know about this. I dont think the guy wants to date her though, although I can tell she likes him quite a bit.
Anyways, I want to ask her out, even though I know she'll probably reject me. Do you think I should? | I like a girl whom Im friends with, who probably likes someone else, but I feel they dont like her, and would just use her for sex. Should I ask her out? |
t3_4sv96z | relationships | My [f35] issues with my partner [23M] closely controlling frequency of sex. | Hi, guys.
I'm in a long-term, live-in relationship with my BF; been together almost two years. Had some stormy times, including my diagnosis of depression and anxiety last year, but things have been smooth for a good while now.
I've always been pretty dang into sex-- nearly every day is something I would like, but have been able to compromise decently with my partner, whose ideal is every other day or a few days between encounters. After some nasty battles and harsh words from myself, which I am not proud of, we settled upon this balance.
The issue presenting itself is: my partner is now steadfast against sexual encounters two days in a row. It's super rare that we have that happen. I've backed off from saying anything negative about it; just asking and getting a "Meh...... maybe..." confirms my idea that two days in a row is too much.
But this is stressing me out. I've been working long hours for a while now and when I do get the offer of sex, naturally I take it up, but I'm not feeling it sometimes, because I'm not in the mood, ie physically tired from my demanding job and mentally tired from usually battling my depression/anxiety all day long. But I take it up because who knows when it will be offered/agreed to next?
This happened yesterday because we both had the day off. I took the opportunity. But now I have screwed myself out of having sex today by doing that. Spontaneous encounters because of "omg I need you NOW" do not happen and it's a source of guilt and rejection for me to have to get the "Ugh, we just did it yesterday" response.
Just wanted to get some other ideas on this issue. Thanks for reading. | Boyfriend will not agree to sex two days in a row, has set this as a steady rule, I'm feeling rejected and guilty for wanting a spontaneous encounter. |
t3_t7koj | AskReddit | Need reddit's advice. Found out I'm on academic suspension, how do I break it to my parents? | My first year at college was total shit. I attend a high ranking college that's wants all their students to maintain at least a 2.0. My GPA dropped to less than two my first year in college. **I will totally admit, I fucked up big time. I understand why I fucked up and am willing to fix it** Coming out of a big high school with above a 4.0 GPA and many honors, I underestimated college and ended up being suspended for at least a semester. I kept the fact that I was on academic suspension from my parents because I felt that I could bring myself out of it, but it didn't work and I ended up doing terrible yet again.
Here's my problem, I don't know how to break it to my family, and I don't know how to approach them. I'm still at college because I planned on taking some summer classes to fix up my fuck-ups, but the suspension hit and I'm not eligible to take classes for a semester. My parents are the strict Asian ones that have high hopes for me and are very strict on me. It's very hard for me to get permission to do many things, and they follow many old traditions. How do I approach them, do I invite them to lunch and break the news or do I call them on the phone, and how do I tell them in such a manner so that they won't go ballistic on me, and instead, try and help me with getting back on track? | HOW DO I APPROACH MY EXTREMELY STRICT PARENTS WITH MY ACADEMIC SUSPENSION? |
t3_4mtsda | relationships | I [23M] have just had my best friend [24F] of 5 years and roommate declare attraction to me, I want to stay friends. | Hello,
My best friend [24F] and I [23M] at the start of the year moved in together to share a place. We have been through a reasonable amount together and due to the close proximity of living in the same space now chat fairly frequently on deep topics.
Recently, she has had her friends comment on how she is very "touchy feely" with me. This is something that I have not noticed. This comment has caused her to realise that she doesn't just like me as a platonic friend but potentially more. She has brought this up with me and has asked me to think about it.
I feel disarmed, she is very selfless and finds it very difficult to communicate her own needs. It was obvious that it was difficult to bring this topic up for her and she has left the ball in my court regarding me having the time to think about the situation.
I would like to stay just best friends, I don't find any romantic or physical attraction to her. My question/s are:
1. How do I manage this kind of relationship considering the close in nature of sharing a place together?
2. What are her needs I need to consider, items that she hasn't and may not bring up?
3. What do I need to be mindful of when I communicate to her that I want to stay friends? | Best friend and roommate has communicated she likes me romantically, I want to stay friends, how do I handle this thoughtfully? |
t3_3cpy3f | tifu | TIFU by throwing things at my sisters naked friend | This actually did happen today. This morning actually. So I'm like super blind without my glasses, and this morning I was making breakfast and wasn't wearing them. My mom tells me to take my sisters sweaters from the dryer and give them to her. So I go upstairs and open my sisters door to give her the sweaters, and I see my sister and her friend trying on bras. Thing is, I can't see which one is which, because A, I don't have glasses on, and B, I'm panicking. I throw the sweaters at my sisters friend (who I thought was my sister) and run out of the room. Sister later ask me why I came into her room and threw things at her topless friend. | accidentally saw sisters friend naked, threw sweaters at her thinking she was my sister because I'm legally blind, and didn't even get to enjoy the view. |
t3_4os8kg | relationships | I'm [26F] going to stay with my father [60ish M] for a week to meet his side of the family for the first time... | ...and I'm goddamn nervous about it.
I probably shouldn't have decided on a whim to do this.
Over the years our relationship has been hit or miss, with lots of arguing and long silences due to past drama (including his constant incarceration, inability to support my mom in raising me, finances, and various other issues I've been dragged into with some other women he has children with). Despite all that, my dad hasn't been a huge part of my life, but has been making more effort towards a more positive relationship with me in the last couple of years. I'm trying to meet him halfway in this endeavor, albeit somewhat obligingly.
Against my better judgement, I'm staying with him when I go to visit New Orleans in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping to meet his family and enjoy the city, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm walking into trouble. Our relationship is still on shaky ground, and I'm not sure I trust him very much, to be quite honest. I'm not great at building relationships and I tend to be quite anxious in general.
Should I book a hotel? I'm mainly going to visit his family, although I want the option to GTFO in case some nonsense goes down. I feel weird about this trip. | I'm staying with my dad for a week despite our weak (but slowly strengthening) relationship. Good or bad idea? |
t3_2vdx26 | relationships | Me [22F] with my [28M] boyfriend. Am I about to throwaway a good thing? | I'll try and make this short and sweet. We started seeing each other a couple months ago, things have been generally ok. He's really good on paper, good job and similar politics, wants in life and goals. He's super kind and generous! Really lovely to me and treats me well. Never unkind to me, doesn't raise his voice etc. Just an over all good guy.
But god does he get on my nerves! Sometimes warranted and sometimes unwarranted. I find him a bit negative, like he complains a loooot about things which makes me super un-attracted to him, and he can be a bit whiny. But the biggest problem is ever since I started dating him, I never felt that real spark of chemistry. Like, I liked him and thought he was funny and nice. But I don't miss him when he's not around, and I don't pine after him. I've never felt crazy about him. The sex is also admittedly not bad but not the best.
But he treats me so well, and I know that's hard to find. He's definitely very loyal and sweet. Would never cheat etc. Listens to my problems, is caring and values affection.
Tonight I told him how I have been feeling and that I need time to think. I have no idea what to do. | Not sure if I can make up for the lack of chemistry and desire with bf. I really care for him but I know he loves me more than I love him. What to do? |
t3_3mvk8e | relationship_advice | I [28M] ran out of tissues while jerking and used condoms instead. Don't know how to explain this to my [25F] girlfriend. | Ok I tried this in r/relationships but was immediately accused of cheating and then got banned. A lot of fuckin' help they were...
This is gonna sound weird but hear me out. My girlfriend has been out of town for the last three weeks so naturally I have been jerking off a shitload. So much that I ran out of tissues last week. Sometimes when I'm desperate I'll just put a condom on and nut into that. It is actually kind of nice as there isn't much cleanup involved. So I've been fapping into condoms for the past few days while I wait for a new tissue box to come from Amazon, and now I have a garbage can full of used condoms.
Here's where things get complicated. I just had to go to New York for three days for an unexpected business trip, and I didn't empty the garbage can before I left. It is right next to my bed. My girlfriend is coming home tomorrow. She's totally gonna see all the condoms and shit and that's not good. She's not the suspicious type but would you believe me if I said I was just jerking off into condoms all week? This is gonna cause a shitstorm and I'm not sure what to do. Should I warn her now? Should I say nothing?
And before you ask, yes, I know they sell tissues at the store. I am lazy. I didn't want to drive 20 minutes just so I can jerk off. | Ran out of tissues; nutted in condoms while girlfriend was away. Forgot to clean up, now she's gonna find em. |
t3_27mtxr | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] dating for 7 months, perfect relationship, may be forced to break up | My girlfriend currently lives with her grandmother. Her dad is an alcoholic and verbally abuses her when he's drunk. My girlfriend struggles with self harm and when people yell at her, she transforms into a different person, the depression she gets as a result of people yelling at her tears her apart. She cuts and uses drugs to deal with this.
Her dad wants her to move back in with him because the original reason she moved out was because her dad and his girlfriend were always fighting with each other and making a horrible environment for her and her brother. Now that her dad's girlfriend is gone, he wants her to move back in with him. She really does not want to do this because her dad's alcohol problem is still there and he takes all of his anger out on her in drunken rage.
My girlfriend is scared that me and her will have to break up because she feels like if she were to move back in with her dad she would not be herself anymore, and that I would be hurt because of her mood and what she does to herself (she's right). This girl is perfect for me and I cannot loose her. I love her more than anything, and even though we are young, we plan on being together for a really long time.
Help me reddit :( | My girlfriends alcoholic father wants her to move back in with him from her grandmothers house. If she does the depression and verbal abuse she will suffer from her dad will completely change who she is and will force us to break up. |
t3_2s1s1x | relationships | I (22m) met an amazing girl (21f) on a plane but now need help | Do about 2 months ago I met a girl on my flight home. We hit it off immediately and ended up spending every day of her vacation together. She even extended her vacation by a week (to 3 weeks) to be with me and the whole time was amazing. This was the strongest connection I'd ever had with a girl.
Unfortunately she then left the USA to return home. We talked about it and decided we would stay in touch and try to see each other in the future, because there was obviously some very good chemistry between us.
That leads us to the present. She has now been gone almost a month and I am totally confused.
We talk pretty frequently and she says that she is really into me and would like to go skiing with me in March and then spend the summer together. But there are all these little signs that kind of bother me:
1. She wanted me to come see her but when I got the money to buy a ticket she came up with a bunch of reasons why I shouldn't and said we should just meet in March to go skiing instead.
2. She rarely texts me unless I text her
3. She hasn't called me in about 6 days. The only time I get to talk to her is when I call her, and usually she does not pick up.
4. She normally says she needs to sleep or go do something after we talk for like 15 minutes.
5. She says she is really busy and stressed at the moment with work and doesn't have much time to talk, but she goes out and does things with her friends all the time.
6. She changed her Facebook picture today from a picture of us to a selfie she took in her room
That's about it. Please help me Reddit! Tell me whether I'm crazy or not and help me decide what to do next. I really like this girl, but there seems to be something going on. Thanks! | Had amazing chemistry with girl on plane. Now that she's back in her own country I'm getting mixed messages about whether she wants to see me again. Can't decide what to do. |
t3_29c3zv | relationship_advice | I met up with my Ex yesterday after two years of no contact, found out she did "fetish modeling". | Edit: Posted this back in /r/relationships but decided to post it here too.
So I've been with this girl for over 7 months two years back. It was a rocky road tbh. She's a very independent girl who talks a lot of crap about other people, very confident and caring, but very insensitive. Her confidence is what made me very attracted to her in the first place. She's also very beautiful, a good 10/10.
We met up yesterday and I could tell she gained a bit of weight from nursing school but I still found her attractive so just letting you guys know I'm not in it for her looks only. I really like her personality and confidence and our chemistry is on another level. But all that got shaken up when she told me she started doing fetish modeling a couple of weeks before we made contact. She says she did it because of stress, mom losing work, daddy issues, some drama with friends, school, etc. (mostly financial) Well, it broke my heart because she told me the kinds of things these sad and lonely guys would pay to see a pretty girl do for them. I don't know if I was hearing things but she told me that some dudes paid her to fuck a couple of times? I don't know if I heard that right. Anyways, that shit sucks hearing that from an Ex.
We hung out around town then ended up at a park after getting yogurt. We ended up laying next to each other and holding hands and talking about how we both havent changed, "just different decisions", since we last broke up. I can tell she still has feelings for me and I do too. She's turning 21 this year and she tells me she wants to go bar hopping with me and we made plans to go to Disneyland together sometime soon. So now I want to make it work, but the fact that she does fetish modeling irks me.
I don't want anyone touching her fine ass but me. How can I make it work between us? Thanks guys in advance... | Met up with Ex after two years of no contact, found out she started doing fetish modeling. We both still like each other, but I'm super bothered by that fact. I want to make it work, any advice? |
t3_39274a | relationships | I (22F) just found out that my good friend at work (26F) is the one who's been stealing from the company fridge. Should I rat her out? | This is my first ever office job and I'm still getting used to office politics. I also don't want to make waves as the newest employee, especially since the friend I'm talking about is very well liked and respected.
Starting in October, someone began stealing things from the company fridge: someone's snack, or drink, or sometimes even an entire lunch. It's common at my office to bring food to work, especially for me because eating out all the time is expensive. I've had my food stolen twice and had nothing to eat for the day. Understandably this pissed a lot of people off and management has been trying to catch this person. Once they put a nanny cam in the break room, it stopped around December, but now every few weeks the thief strikes again. It's become more of a running joke in the office than anything, though people still get angry about it when their food is stolen. I'm aware this is a silly issue. The camera was taken away when it stopped in December, btw.
Yesterday I went to the break room to use the Keurig at a time I don't usually go and found my friend "Leslie" leaning into the fridge. I thought this was normal, until I saw her unzip one of our coworkers' lunch bags, take out a pudding cup, and put it in her pocket. She closed the door, turned around, and said hi to me like nothing had happened. I don't think she knows I saw.
Leslie would be the last person anyone would suspect to be the thief. She's incredibly bubbly and popular, everyone loves her. I know she's not having money issues so I don't know why she's stealing. I consider her one of my best friends at work and I really enjoy hanging out with her, which makes this a dilemma.
Should I "tattle" on Leslie and ruin our friendship? Or should I tell her I know and to knock it off? Or just say nothing at all? | Someone has been stealing from the company fridge. I found out that someone is my good friend. I don't know if I should rat her out, tell her I know, or keep quiet. |
t3_2ktf11 | relationships | I [28 M] reconnected recently with my high school flame [28 F], looking for advice | I know this is a story that has been played out many times before, but I couldn't find anything in search :) In high school, I dated a lovely girl named M for about three years. Our attempt to stay friends after breaking up turned sour, and I essentially cut ties with my high school friends for years. This summer, 7 years later, I ran into her and we started talking again.
At a wedding we both attended we found we both had emotional baggage from the breakup, so we started talking more wanting to see why things had gotten so bad. Turns out a lot of the problem was rumor mongering by some less than stellar friends that we bought into at the time. In the process we really hit it off and reconnected, and a few weeks later we're dating. The foundation of friendship from the past is still there and strong, there's the benefit of shared history, and there's the excitement of getting to know who the other has become.
I'm likely to have to relocate to a new job 1.5 hrs away from her, but we plan to see each other on the weekends and possibly occasionally during the week if job schedules permit, and if we're still going strong in a couple of years look at relocating either to somewhere between our jobs or finding jobs in the same city.
My question for /r/relationships is, of those who have reconnected with high school loves, can you offer any advice? Things to do, to avoid? One thing we've been very focused on is having candid discussions about our past relationship, what we want from our lives right now, and what we want in the future with total transparency even in areas that are uncomfortable to discuss, which is really important to both of us. Of course it's not all serious talk all the time, we have fun, go places together, have plenty of silly moments and enjoy mundane things like cooking meals together. I'm just curious as to what insight others who've walked this road could offer us. | Dating a high school flame, things are going great, looking for advice and stories from others who have done the same! |
t3_43jd9k | personalfinance | Going to be out of a job for a few months. Should I apply for a %0 APR credit card to keep my cash on hand? | Background: I live with my boyfriend, who is getting transferred to a new city for work. Our finances are separate, but we pay for bills proportionately. I plan to move with him, so I'll be quitting my job and searching for a new one in the new city. We live in NYC right now and my job is pretty low paying (nonprofit) so I only have about $1000 in savings. He can help float me for a while by paying my % of the rent and groceries, and all the moving costs, but he doesn't have the funds to completely support me and I'll still have things like my phone bill to pay on my own. I'll get a little more cash when I quit from them paying out my vacation, but I don't want to cash out my 401k (obviously).
Current credit situation: I currently have a credit card through my bank that I transferred $1500 in CC debt over to for a 0% APR balance transfer about a month ago. I have another high APR rewards card that I used for monthly expenses and paid off every month (balance transfer was because holiday travel and gifts/parties caught up to me. Oops). So things are tight but my credit is good, helped by a huge retirement Roth IRA inherited from my grandparents. Definitely don't want to touch that. | No debt, little cash, going to be out of the job for a few months. Is a 0%APR credit card a good idea as a short term loan? |
t3_2y6a8h | relationships | Me [25 M] with a co-worker [24 F] of 2 years, both have feels for each other but she doesn't want to mess it up. Anything I can do? | Me and a co-worker have worked together for 2 years and we both have recently admitted to having feeling for each other. She said she really likes me but doesn't want to have a relationship because she "pretty much wrecks almost every relationship and we get along too well for me to mess something up". I would rather have a relationship and have it fail then just sit around knowing we both have feelings for each other and doing nothing about it.
I've tried to convince her we only really see each other at work if one of us wants to (we don't work on similar projects or even on the same side of the building) and if it does fail it would only be awkward or a little while and at least we will know it won't work. I don't know what else to do to get her to give it a try so I'm just looking or some help. | Co worker and I both have feelings for each other but she doesn't want a relationship because she's scared it will fail. Anything I can do to convince her otherwise? |
t3_3cvweg | relationships | I (27F) know its time to break up with him (28M) | I (27F) have been seeing my bf (28M) for 2 years. We live together along with my friend.
I've got to the stage where I know we need to break up. Earlier in the relationship we went out, socialised with his friends and mine, went for nice dinners and saw movies, went camping, etc. He was nice to me and considerate and was a source of comfort when I was nervous or sad. I was the same to him. I remember people commenting on our closeness, how we had our own little world together.
That's all changed now. Now he resists coming out with me at all. If he does come out he sulks and is rude to my friends. I introduced him to some work colleagues recently and he barely acknowledged them. He just played games on his phone the whole time instead. He won't hang out with me at home. At all. He really only engages me for sex now or to do grocery shopping. Otherwise all he wants to do is play video games or work on his bike.
I have always been happy to give him lots of space as I acknowledge he is more introverted than me. But I can't be in a relationship with someone who won't do anything with me and is cold to me all the time. He doesn't seem to care where I go or who I see. I live a completely separate life to him now. So its time to break up.
My problem is that we have a lease together - and worse still - my friend is here living with us. Do I need to give my friend a heads up first? It seems weird approaching my friend about my intentions to split before I approach my bf. I feel bad putting my friend in the middle of it. But I'm so unhappy in this relationship now. And my bf doesn't care enough to change. I'm also worried about how I exit the house. I need to find somewhere to go and obviously will have to take my stuff.
Any advice on dealing with this situation? | I'm going to break up with my bf of 2 years. The problem is that I live with him and my friend. We have a lease and I'm worried about the fallout. Looking for advice for handling this situation. |
t3_1aql2x | relationships | F(21) love my boyfriend but something is missing, help! | Okay, so I am F(21) currently in a relationship with M(24) and he is also my best friend. We have been dating for 3 years and I love him very much. He is by far the kindest person I have ever been with. The only problem is I dated a girl for 3 years before him.. She is the only girl I have ever been intimate with or felt strongly about. She ended up being a total bitch and I ended things with her and started dating a different guy. Complete douche bag. Every other guy I have dated have been total assholes (and cheaters) and for some reason I was always attracted to that.
Back to the point: I love my boyfriend but lately I have no desire to have sex with him. A few months ago I was enjoying the sex we had but for some reason now I dread it. We get along perfectly, (of course we fight too) and we have a very similar sense of humor. However, we have very different pasts. I have had sex with more people and he was not very experienced when we got together. The sex is good (now, not so much in the beginning) but I feel like I rarely have that intense emotional connection with him that I had with the girl I dated. I know I'm hurting him when I turn him down but I am never turned on anymore. Not by him or anyone else for that matter (girls or guys). And I do not miss the girl at all, I only miss the feelings I felt when I was with her. I miss being turned on. And it seems like the more I think about it, the worse its making things between my boyfriend and I. I really do not want to lose him and thinking about him with another girl makes me sick. The best way I can explain it is my relationship with the girl was fun and exciting but I was either extremely happy or extremely hurt all the time. It was like a roller-coaster. My relationship with my boyfriend is much more stable, I always feel that he loves me and I love him and he gives me warmth.
I need advice. | F(21) dating M(24) confused if I miss being with a girl or miss being in dysfunctional relationships. Want to get "spark" back in current relationship. |
t3_28oy1s | Cooking | Please help! My KitchenAid hangs in the balance! | * Background: I live with my parents. My father and I cook and bake, and my mom does the dishes. She knows nothing of appliances except where they go.
* Two days ago, I went to make some shortbread cookies, and noticed that my flat beater paddle attachment wouldn't fit onto the beater shaft of my KitchenAid stand mixer. After troubleshooting, I realized the spring was stuck inside the attachment. My whole family and I agreed not to use the attachment until the spring was out.
* Flash forward to today. My mom and I have been fighting about other unrelated issues. She decides it would be a great way to piss me off to jam the attachment onto the mixer while my dad's not around. I hear the mixer whirring. I ask her what she's doing (because she doesn't ever touch that machine.) She says, "See? I told you that the spring belonged in the beater and not on the mixer." I insist that she's incorrect, and that the owner's manual and Google would show that the spring belongs on the shaft.
* Now the attachment won't come off, and I can't use the mixer. I asked if she wanted help trying to shimmy it off, but she said if I try and I break it, I have to pay for it. Meanwhile, she has given up. I'm not yet convinced that the mixer is unusable. Can anyone give me some tips as to how to get the attachment off? I understand that most of my problem is my relationship, but it pains me to not have use of my favorite/most used kitchen appliance. | KitchenAid flat beater attachment has the beater shaft spring stuck inside of it, and the paddle and shaft are stuck together. Please tell me if you have any way to get it off without hurting either piece. |
t3_11z52y | relationships | I [23F] don't know how to tell my boyfriend [32M] that I can't afford to do the things he wants. | Me: 23F
Him: 31M
Relationship length: About 2 months
I've started seeing this guy recently. He's incredible. Sweet, caring, goes out of his way to help me, we have many of the same interests and get along very well - you get the idea.
So, he's got a taste for the finer things in life. He likes to go out to eat at expensive places often, travel, etc. And I also enjoy these things, but I hadn't been doing them much because at the moment I can't afford it. In the first place, I don't make a ton of money, but I'm also climbing out of a bit of credit card debt, and it's really important to me that I get it under control.
He's got a very successful job and makes pretty good money, so he often takes me to nice places. But I feel like I should at least offer to pay when we go out. However, in reality I can't afford to pay for most of the things we do. It makes me scared to offer, but at the same time I don't want him to feel resentful because I don't offer or pay sometimes (this has happened before, so I'm very wary).
Soon we are going on a trip together, that he's already paid thousands of dollars for the flight and hotels and made reservations at astronomically expensive restaurants, so I feel like I need to offer to pay for some of it, but I CAN'T. When I've offered to pay in the past, usually he puts up a little bit of a fuss but will then let me pay.
I feel like we are so early in our relationship that I don't want to share my financial woes with him, but I also don't want him to feel like I'm mooching off him because that is not at all what I want. What do I do?? | Boyfriend wants to do expensive things. I feel like I should offer to pay, but really cannot afford it at all. What do? |
t3_4i7wkx | relationships | Me [38 M] with my wife [28 F] I met her off of one of those Ukrainian brides site. am I weird? | (Note: I changed some details for anonymity)
I'll probably come off as a creep I just did it because I was alone.
I had never been good with women which is why when I met my wife I was so in love. We had a good life a nice house 2 cars a dog and a pool, we were living the dream and everything was good.
4 years ago she left me for another man as it turned out she was having an affair. She divorced me but didn't ask for anything because she wanted to make it as fast as possible.
After I found out she was pregnant with his child and it devastated me, I turned to drinking. Every night I would sleep alone with no one there even though she did what she did I missed her and just wanted to hold her again.
I was tired of living alone so I found one of those Ukrainian bride sites. I met a nice woman skip all the extra detail long story short we got married.
It feels good to just have someone sleep next to me at night and someone to talk to. We've been "married" for 3 years now and I feel weird like I'm just a weird old man who literally bought his wife.
She has already told me she loves me and it feels....genuine like she's not faking it. She helped me stop drinking and has really helped me get my life on track.
Am I weird is this wrong somehow? | my ex wife left me 4 years ago and I was tired of living alone so I went to a mail order bride site. |
t3_oyxab | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the most spoiled you've ever seen a kid act? I'll start... | My parents are very generous at Christmas with my cousins' gifts, but somehow one year it wasn't enough. My parents bought him and his brothers A GO-KART. I dreamed of a go-kart as a kid. They were so excited to see their faces when they revealed the gift to the three boys. Well, naturally they freaked out and were overwhelmed with happiness and excitement when they got it. At least two of them were... One of them, lets call him "Henry" is completely stoic. He doesn't run up to the go-kart and get excited like the other two; he stays completely still and expressionless, then walks inside and goes to the basement. We were all really puzzled so I went in to talk to him. He was sitting with his head down on a table and arms folded. I kept asking him why he didn't want to go test drive the go-kart. Then i tried prying his head off the table and I realized that Henry was crying. Tears streaming down his face. Then, finally he burst and started screaming "I DONT WANT A FUCKING GO KART I WANTED A MAC LAPTOP" and starts bawling is visibly furious. He was so angry and upset that my parents bought him a go-kart and not a mac, that he was screaming crying. My mom was just in a state of shock and quietly said to herself "I thought all boys liked go karts..." My Dad and grandma were yelling at him for how ruthlessly spoiled and selfish Henry was. I was livid seeing the kid act like such a brat, but at the same time i was laughing to myself because it was just so ridiculous. | My cousin was screaming crying because my parents bought him a go kart for christmas instead of a Mac Laptop. |
t3_222dsi | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [18F]of almost 6months, im always jealous, but don't show it. | to start I'm using a throwaway because my girlfriend knows my username.
So as the title says it, I randomly get jealous and compare her previous relationships to ours, not directly talking to her about it. I randomly get dreams about her with another guy, and the next day i feel really insecure. I trust her 100% and I know she doesn't do anything behind my back, but i still have this feeling deep down that theres something wrong, I dont think it has anything to do with her side. I feel like im just really controling, even when I told her I want her to tell me if i am. The reason I feel like this might have something to do with my father being very mentally abusive, and was very controlling towards my mom, and my stepmom(now divorced). I just fear that I will become something like him, and that is the last thing I want. My girlfriend and I have a very good communication, but i just want this feeling to go away. | Feel like im really jealous and controling, even when she says I'm far from it. What do you guys think i should work on/ figure out. |
t3_2vd286 | tifu | TIFU by thinking a towel smelling of prawn crackers was a good thing. | So this didn't happen today but little over a year ago. I went to visit Berlin during Christmas with my girlfriend at the time to get away from our families and enjoy eachothers company. I just remembered this when opening up a bag of prawn crackers and it brought me back to that faithful night.
After a nice day of strolling around in the city, my ex, (let's call her A) and I went back to our hostel room which we had for ourselves. We popped in the shower and when we were finished I grabbed one of the towels and started drying myself like usual. When I started drying my face off I've noticed my towel smelled like prawn crackers and apparently this didn't raise any alarms as to why a towel would smell like tasty fishy crisps instead of things like flowers, perfume or cleanliness.
I enthusiastically went up to A to tell her about this when she suddenly showed me this look of disgust, on the other side of this fishy smelling towel was this huge red bloody stain. When I found out about this I immediatly felt dirty and ashamed and hopped back into the shower to get this nastiness off my body. When I was finished I thoroughly examined the next towel before rubbing it into my face to check if no strange dirty woman wiped her fishy period pussy with this one. | Me being enthusiastic over a towel smelling like prawn crackers, drying myself off with it before finding out some dirty woman marked it her territory. |
t3_2m1rbr | relationships | I [20M] really like a girl [21F] that I just met but I'm not sure what the next step is. | So I'm new at dating really but I met a girl a few months ago that I liked for a while now. I saw her semi-often but never said much. A few weekends ago we met at a party and danced for a bit and went back to her apartment where we talked for a few hours. Later she invited me to hang out for a bit. Things went well and i asked her to go to an event but she couldn't make it. Instead she suggested we grab dinner. We did and things went well enough.
I think she likes me but im not sure what I should be doing now. Should I text her or go talk to her sometime? Should I just keep going on these small "dates" for a bit and then tell her how I feel? I dont want to rush things but at the same time I'm really nervous and kinda just want to rush things. We also don't text in between hanging out because I dont want to seem desperate or clingy. | I like a girl and who I have hung out with a few times. She seems to like me but I don't know what my next step is. |
t3_1aqhuo | relationship_advice | (20/M) moved in with current girlfriend (23/F) 3 months ago and her twins (2 3/4 years old) aren't warming up to me as much as she'd like. | I recently moved from NYC to Washington State to live with my current girlfriend, and earlier today she told me how she thought it was odd that her twins weren't warming up to me as much as she had hoped. I don't think I have treated them badly since I have been here, and they both have their good moments with me.
I just feel like they are SO used to their mommy doing EVERYTHING for them, that whenever I try to do anything, like put their jacket on, etc, they will cry for her to do it 75% of the time.
Any thoughts on this? Should I just not involve myself at all with disciplining them and leave that COMPLETELY to her? | Moved in with current girlfriend, and her twins are not warming up to me as much as she would like. Should I stop disciplining them completely and leave it to her? |
t3_3mjf5u | tifu | TIFU by picking up what I thought was a pop tart | So this actually happened an hour ago. Me and my brother got home from our marching band competition. I said goodnight to my parents, and went in my room to get ready for bed. When I look at my floor there was something brown on it. So I thought to my self "must be a chocolate pop tart" and went to go pick it up to throw it away. (I love pop tarts so there would be a few around my room floor) When I bent over to pick it up after feeling it with just the tip of my fingders and the smell of it, it didn't take me long to say "...this is not a pop tart" My parents are asleep so I couldn't find the carpet cleaner, so I had to pick it up with a paper towel. The only person I can think of doing this is my toddler of a little sister. | I was going to throw away what I thought was a piece of pop tart, which turned out to be pooped that i had touched. |
t3_4yqhjt | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend [20F] of 10 months is more than likely expecting promise rings before the end of this year, but I'm not sure if I can make that promise | Just as the title reads. My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year, and she's already asked more than once if I'm buying promise rings, and has expressed her desire for one. My problem is that while I love her very much, and I would do basically anything for her, I don't know if I can make that kind of promise. We see each other less than once a week and it makes it difficult for me to know if I can uphold such a promise, because who knows where she or I will be 6 months, a year, etc. I am dreading her bringing it up because I don't plan to buy a promise ring or anything right now, or in the near future, and I don't want to bring this up with her because it is very similar to "breaking up" with her before actually breaking up.
If it helps, this situation is very similar to a situation in the TV show "That 70s Show" with Eric and Donna. How should I handle this situation? I want to just not bring it up, but if it does indeed come up in conversation, I'm afraid I won't be able to avoid the real reason I don't want to buy them. Any suggestions? | Girlfriend wants promise rings to stay together forever, but I can't make that kind of promise with all the uncertainty in life and our distance. |
t3_1i79m7 | relationships | [23M] Broke up with my girlfriend [28F] of 2 years, shocked. | I've spent the last two weeks in some sort of surreal, shocked state as I watched my relationship unravel in front of me. Two weeks ago I moved out because she wasn't sure if she loved me and she felt like she was seeing me too much. At that point I strongly suspected the breakup, and tonight it finally happened.
I don't really know what has happened to my life. I thought this girl was great for me, but I've always been aware that she has never been quite as happy with the relationship as I have. Still, I did a pretty good job ignoring that, and now I realize that I may have stayed too long.
I don't know what's going on. I have this terrible feeling like I'm standing in the wake of a tidal wave of pain that's going to come crashing down on me soon. I'm just waiting for it... | Broke up with my girlfriend today. I love her a lot. It sucks, I'm in shock, and I feel like my world is about be destroyed. |
t3_2db6wj | Pets | Here's a Nice(ish) Story | So my cousins have a dog. He's great, extremely well behaved, only barks when someone's at the door, and stops once you let the person in. He can be walked without a leash because when he goes too far ahead, he'll turn around to check if you're still there and run back to you. He's real pretty and sheds very little as well. So overall, probably the best kind of dog I can think of, although he is big, so if they groom him, it'll cost a lot.
Anyways, whenever they go somewhere that they can't take him, my family and I watch him. One time we took care of him during the summer, so my friends came over to hang out and got to pet him and they all loved him. Now, my parents are friends with all my friends' parents, so they all chat and stuff. Here's where it gets interesting. All of my friends loved him so much, that my parents told me that pretty much all of them went to their parents and said they wanted dogs. Most of them were pretty easily talked out of it, but two of my friends who were sisters actually went and got a dog! The dog they got misbehaved a lot and would not be trained, so they sold her not that long after (however, they have a different one now that they love and have had for years). | Watched my cousins' extremely well-behaved dog. Was so well-behaved that he made all my friends want dogs and two actually got one! |
t3_htdyu | AskReddit | How should I take revenge on my douchebag neighbor? | Here's some backstory.
Parking is a bitch where I live. My little apartment complex has a driveway, and each apartment gets two spaces. The idea is to park behind your roommate, but none of my roommates drive and there's no system of organization whatsoever. So I brought up my car after Spring Break, managed to find room on the driveway to park, and went to class. Return home from class, and my car's gone. A neighbor upstairs had it towed, claiming to the landlord that the car had been parked there for three nights and they had been asking around about it for two days. Complete bullshit. So, I found the guy and called him out on his lie. That's the only reason he agreed to pay me half the towing fee. It was $360~ so he paid me $180, and I was grateful for that don't get me wrong. I let go of the issue.
That was about two months ago.
Today, the same douche bangs on my door and tells me I need to move my car. He doesn't ask, don't say please, doesn't make any attempt to be anything but a little bitch about nothing. I know I'm not parked behind him, so I ask him why. He flips his shit and starts yelling that he can't pull out because my car's in the way. It's not a big deal for me to move my car, so I tell him he needs to calm down and check the attitude. What does he say? He says no, he's going to yell all he wants because he paid me $200. He then calls me a bitch and storms off. I shouldn't have done jack, but I went outside to see if I really needed to move my car. I didn't. The asshat's car brushed against some plants next to the driveway (something I'm forced to do all the time due to the poor construction of the driveway), but he managed to pull out without a problem.
My lease ends next week and I'm looking for some creative parting gifts for my douchebag neighbor. Minor property damage is fairly common where I live. I'm thinking about a good ol' egging. What say you? | – My douchebag neighbor got my car towed and then bitched me out about it 2 months later. I want some petty and relatively harmless revenge. |
t3_1do0k5 | relationships | Why would my 28F ex tell me to see her after work at like 2AM and then tell me to sleep on the couch? | I dated her for almost a year and we talk on and off. I haven't really moved on and I'm pretty sure she has as she broke up with me.
Ok so basically she called me to see her after work, which is like 2AM. She texted me, say hi, what are you up to, calls me babe and everything. I went to her work, got picked up, and tried to be kinda bf-ish. She swatted my hands away, and was just mean. I thought we were gonna have sex, but when we got to her house, she told me to sleep on her couch.
Of course I refused and slept in bed with her, and tried to initiate sex, but she said she just wanted to be friends. I'm sure she isn't innocent and knew this was gonna happen, because you don't call your friends over right before you go to sleep. No one does that.
Of course I left, and she protested it, but I left anyway. I was walking a fair distance when I realized I still had her phone. I went back to give it to her, and by that time I was tired and fell asleep with her, she kept hitting me while I was sleeping. In the morning I left and she texted me a few times. She never does this so I think she feels guilty.
I had sex with her and we were never friends first. She has always been a mean person and she abused me, always putting me down and still does this, and I have no idea why I would want to be her friend. Should I just ignore her or say something? | My ex gf wants me to see her after work at like 2AM but tells me to sleep on the couch. How do I respond? |
t3_2o13w9 | relationships | I [20 M] don't know what due do in current situation with [21 F] and a family friend [? M] | EDIT: yeah, I goobered the title up
Wall of text, sorry:
So I [20 M] met this girl, J [21 F] at my buddy's apartment complex, I gave her my number and we talked for a few days before I asked her out on a date. The date didn't go exactly as planned, things started off well but as it went on I started to get more nervous and say some boneheaded stuff, needless to say it didn't quite work out but she wanted to remain friends which was fine with me.
Halloween night rolls around and I end up at J's place with some of my friends and her friends, drinks were had and apparently she was flirting with me the entire time I was there.
This past weekend we're hanging out again with my friends and one of her friends, the football game turned into a blowout by halftime so we turned the TV off and started playing some drinking games. After 2 rounds of Kings Cup and Struggle Bus, J suggested truth or dare which we all agreed sounded fun, after a few rounds someone dared J to kiss me, she asked if I was okay with her being my first kiss and I said it was no issue. After a few more drinks and rounds someone had dared her to make out with me for 5 seconds, after the 5 seconds was up she kept going for about 2 minutes. Afterwards she pulled me aside and told me she really likes me and thinks I'm hilarious but isn't ready for a relationship.
Another detail (I guess) is J happened to meet one of my family friends D (who has a history of "Fucking and chucking" the guy is pretty damn good at picking up women) and I noticed throughout the night they texting quite a bit and I'm just worried that if they hookup things will proceed to get a bit ahh awkward seeing as my family and D's family get together often.
I don't really know what to do this is the furthest I've even done even anything with a girl before and I really don't want to lose any chances with her, what should I do? Or am I just overthinking things? | went on date with girl, didn't work out, made out with said girl month later, but she doesn't want a relationship currently but really likes me. |
t3_mpe0z | running | Runnit, we need to talk. | Over the past few weeks I have noticed an increase in the number of people bashing those who post PR's or new distances they have run. Here is the deal. Stop it! There are those people who like to share their running achievements with others and if they are like me and have no one around who would understand what the hell a PR was then they want to share it with a community that will. Just like there are those who will congratulate them and encourage them to work even harder. These are the same kinds of people who show up to marathons just to cheer the runners on. But you naysayers who have to chime in with your "this is a wasted post" or "karma whore" comments are the worst. So what, you clicked on the story, saw it was a PR submission and clicked your back button without reading any further and lost about 5 seconds tops. If you don't want to read them, don't click on them. No matter how long you have been running you can remember back to when you first started out and how exciting it was to see your improvement in very tangible ways. Don't deny that joy to others.
And for you PR posters, give us just a bit more than your PR time or distance. Tell us WHY this was important to you. Is it a goal you have been working on for some time and was finally able to achieve? Were you challenged in a race by someone and pushed yourself harder? Telling us you achieved a PR is the garnish on the plate, give us the meat and potatoes as well. | If you are complaining about people posting PRs, knock it off. If you are posting PRs, give us more info why. |
t3_1xeuo7 | relationship_advice | (17/m) Need help finding ways to initiate conversation with a girl (16/m) with little time? | This girl and I know each other. We sat across from each other in class a lot last semester and would talk to each other. She started saying hi to me whenever we passed in the hallway and calling me by name. We no longer have class together and don't often get to see each other so a quick little "Hey heartshapedclock!" is about all the conversation we have, maybe once or twice a day. But I really like her and I think she likes me too, I think we could potentially have something and I want to. But I only get like a 5 second window to talk to her everyday and say hi and then we have to go to class. What are some things I can say to her that'll engage her in a conversation or things that I can do to grab her attention in less than 10 seconds and not seem like a creep? I don't want her to lose interest before it's too late.
Thanks! | I'm interested in a girl but we don't get much time to talk to each other, how can I escalate our friendship using little time? |
t3_2jj01v | dogs | blood in new dogs diarrhea? Should I take him to the vet immediately? | I have a new dog I adopted last saturday. Last night during his leash training I used cheese. It was mild cheddar and the total amount was probably 1-2 tablespoons. He is 52 pounds. This morning his poop was pure liquid. On his walk he went twice more and both times it was liquid with some bright red blood drops. He only ate half his kibble and is now sleeping (he normally sleeps all morning so this is pretty normal). He seemed normal otherwise during his walks.
I called the shelter I got him from and their vet said that it was just probably the combination of cheese and recently changed diet (science diet to blue buffalo). They said 24 hour fast and then bland diet for a couple days.
I'm still worried. Do you think this is most likely the cause and he will be okay? I have a regular vet appointment scheduled next week for an exam. Should I see if his condition improves or should I take him to the vet ASAP? | Changed dogs diet and fed him cheese. This morning pure liquid shit with red blood drops. Shelter said he would be fine, anyone with similar experience? Should I ignore the shelter and go to the vet? |
t3_3553dk | relationships | I (18m) do not know how to move forward from what I felt like was a nearly perfect relationship | I just recently broke up with what I will call my first actual girlfriend, her being 17. I had strong feelings for her throughout the entire relationship (and still do) and so did she as for me (at least in the beginning), but something clicked in her and I don't know what but it ended abruptly. So, after a sudden week of ignoring me (we go to different schools so phone was the only communication besides driving) she tells me she just wants to be friends, we break up. I try to get answers after the fact, turns out she hated the entire nearly 2 year relationship and only tried saving it because of our virginities and that she could never stand to be with me or my family also that I am boring (I don't really get this one but ok). This was the first time she has mentioned anything like this, ever. Now I understand this is only the beginning, and there are a lot of people out there so I have come to terms that it was probably for the best. But I have a serious problem that I cannot find anything else attractive. I have no drive. I can't even masturbate to anything other than her, yes it's that bad. Girls talk to me daily but I can't see them anything more than friends because I always find something I don't like about them or have an excuse not to. I have grieved over the breakup already and have no problems with it, but I do still wish it never happened. I want to move on but I have 0 clue on how to actually enjoy another person's company in a romantically driven way without comparing to what I had before. I have done the necessary steps of informing my parents/friends of the breakup and they have done a great job at keeping me from being alone in my thoughts, but this is something I don't think they can help with though. Any help would be appreciated. | Girlfriend of nearly 2 years I *think* I loved broke up with me because I'm boring and she hated me, I proceed to dwell on the past and can't find any other girl attractive. |
t3_54jzth | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 3 months - Breaking up. | So, about three months ago, I met a girl at a party and we got along really well, in fact, we both thought we were perfect for each other. We met on the holidays so we spent pretty much everyday together.
After spending a little time together though, I found that I sorta fell out of liking her. I just can't see a future. I myself am a very quiet, self-organised and introverted person; I need time alone for emotional/mental/physical recovery - though she just always wants to spend time with me and it's exhausting.
I've found that I just don't enjoy spending time with her anymore; she gets so emotional when I can't hangout and the more time I spend with her, the more I realise I can't be with her - but she really likes me. I don't really know what I'm doing posting here - I've never had a girlfriend before and I just don't know how to end it - is there any advice? I feel like such a dick, but I figure it's best it ends before she gets even more attatched. Has anyone had a similar situation? How did you deal with it? Thanks! | The more time I've spent with my girlfriend, the more I realise how different we are and how much I want to be single. |
t3_4op0wf | relationships | Hi guys, the girl I've been with (21/f) for 10 months "cheated" on me (21/m). I don't know how to go forward | Hi guys, first post here so apologies for anything that is a bit messy/isn't traditional etiquette (also submitted the same question to relationship advice subreddit). I'm a 21-year old guy in university.
The problem/question: I've been with a girl (21/F) for about 10 months, and it's been more than friends to both of us (we've been on dates, sex, spending nights together, spend much more time together than just friends would and have a deeper emotional connection, etc.), but we never explicitly outlined us being in a clear boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but we have mentioned that if either of us were to be with somebody else (dates or sexually), it would definitely hurt the other. I have let her know that if she was with another guy I'd be quite sad, but I never tried to stop her from being with other guys if she wants. In recent weeks, things have gotten a bit stale which is natural, and I've been growing slightly suspicious, but I thought it was just me being stupidly paranoid (an insecure trait I've yet to fully overcome). Yesterday, she was out, and I made the mistake of reading her journal that was on the floor (I know I violated her privacy big time). In short, I learned that she had sex with another guy a few weeks ago, and has been getting physical with a few other guys as well. I told her we need a break, but also fessed up to reading her journal. We're both upset, but she said she doesn't want to see me go.
I'm pretty lost as to how I should handle this and what I should've done before. She mentioned that if I was suspicious I should've flat out asked her about cheating and she would've told the truth. I should've just asked straight up, but I'm doubtful that she would've told the honest truth. I also feel like her hooking up with other guys is a reflection on me not being a good friend/boyfriend (in-between). I think part of me wants to stay, but also I'm just afraid that she'd do it again. What's your take? | two college students, not bf/gf explicitly, but really close to traditional relationship. She had sex with other guy(s). What should I do? |
t3_1qfcya | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] 2 years, I feel guilt every day | Hi /r/relationships. I know my opinion and way of thinking is not going to be popular here, but I do not know what to do:
My girlfriend and I have lived together from 1 year in our relationship til now (2 years total).
Recently (past 2 weeks), I have been thinking about an old highschool friend. We were amazing friends and hit it off, but I was very shy during that period of my life and I never asked her out.
Thinking about my friendship with her, I regret it, and I can't stop thinking about it. It consumes my thoughts.
It doesn't help that my girlfriend and I are fighting and disagreeing about things every week. She wants kids by 29, but I don't want to put a timeframe on it - I want to be financially ready.
We also aren't great at communicating. I want to communicate about our problems right away, while she would rather let things blow over and forget about it.
Every time we fight, I think about leaving, living independently, and then going to this other girl and asking her out. I just want to do it - I don't care if she says no, but the uncertainty is eating away at me.
I can't tell if these thoughts will come and go, as it's all I can think about (and dream about) for the last 2 weeks.
I kind of wish it is a phase, but at the same time, these thoughts are causing me to realize I am not 100% happy in this relationship, and I'm not sure we can work it out. | Problems with currently relationship make me long for an old friendship. I keep thinking the next fight will be our last, and it will give me the opportunity to eventually ask this girl out and get over my regret... It's fucked. |
t3_2yvmu8 | relationships | My Boyfriend [17m] opened up to me [17f] about previous abusive relationship | Today my boyfriend of 1 year and 1 month, opened up to me about his previous relationship, he had never told me anything about it whatsoever until now. A girl that he dated for 8 months was physically abusive towards him, and threatened him with stuff like "If you try leaving me I'll tell the police you're the one who hit me" and a bunch of other horrible stuff. I was shocked and I tried to comfort him but I didn't really say much because I was pretty much speechless.
I don't know how exactly I'm supposed to react to this sort of thing, and another crappy thing is this girl, goes to our school. And I was extremley upset hearing about it and I don't want to see her face at school because I will probably feel like punching her in the face. I'm really pissed off about it, even though I wasn't with him at the time so maybe that's weird for me to feel this way.
Does anyone else have experience with their SO opening up about something bad that happened in past relationships? How exactly am I supposed to react now that I have this knowledge? Sorry if I seem clueless but I feel so bad about it. And how am I supposed to be okay with seeing this girl around school? | My boyfriend opened up to me about him experiencing abuse in a previous relationship, I don't know how exactly to react to it. |
t3_1fc7cv | BreakUps | Male(21) seeking advice on getting my ex girlfriend(21) back. crosspost from r/relationships | Hey Reddit. I'd appreciate your help in this problem I am having with an ex. My ex and I were in love and we had dated for just over two years, but broke it off this February for a lie that I have told her about me smoking cannabis on an occasional basis. She comes from a background that is very much against it. Anyway, I lied to her and said that I was not using it anymore, when I was.
Since we have broken up, we have been fighting a lot, but she has come to visit me in my college town 6 hours away a few times to talk, and I have likewise visited her. Recently, she told me she would give me a chance and the benefit of the doubt to win her back, although she did not have the same feelings anymore. I want to work to get them back. I'm glad for this opportunity, but I am at a loss because I don't know exactly what to do as I have already trying to win her back for a month or so. Also, it should be noted that we are often long distance. We live in different countries, but I go to university in her country. I will go back home for the summer in mid June, so I'd like to have this hopefully fixed before then, although I am more willing to work on our relationship after that. | Want to get back with my ex after a few months of fighting. She says I have a chance and the benefit of the doubt. |
t3_29j8s2 | Dogtraining | Our 1yr old Aussy cross is a bitch to other dogs, in more than a biological sense. | [Rhu] born April 2013, is a wonderfully obedient and loyal Border Collie Aussy cross. She is easy to train and is very well behaved, except one thing, starting at about 10 months old.
We'd meet another dog while walking. She would wag her tail playfully and walk to meet the dog, seeming friendly. She would approach the dog face to face, still friendly. This was when it would go wrong. Often she would freeze for a couple seconds, nose to nose, staring the dog down. Then she'd go off at the dog without provocation, as if a switch had gone off. We'd pull her away snapping and snarling, which often provoked more aggression. By the time we were about 10 feet away she'd forget about it, walking along as if nothing had happened.
This, of course, confounded us. As experienced dog owners we'd never seen this before. The most puzzling part about it was both the suddenness of it and how she was so friendly to start. We could be throwing a ball in the park with other dogs not 30 feet away and she'd be fine with them (we don't do this anymore, just in case she changes her mind).
We bought a halty and a muzzle and are now very careful with her. We took her to a trainer, who conditioned her for dominance, showing us how to be alpha. No dice. We took her to another trainer who though it was fear, and tried to re-socialize her with some of his dog. Again no dice. At this point we really don't know what to do, it is manageable as is, but it would put us at ease if we could train her out of it. I realize there is probably very little I can glean from reddit that I wouldn't get from 2 professional trainers, but I though I'd give it a try.
To be clear; Rhu gets lots of exercise, including bike rides, runs, walks, hockey and balls (though the off leash activities have been somewhat limited since this new behavior arose). She never chews or riots in the house and loves people. | Dog (1 yr Aussy Border Collie) is super friendly with people, very obedient and trainable. Fine with other dogs until she gets face to face, then goes off. 2 trainers, no dice. |
t3_2oe7kg | books | Looking to transition from types of books | Hello!
A little background about myself will help...I'm a sixteen-year-old male living in England. I'm a big fan of reading, always have been since a little kid, and I'm compiling a list of the books I want to read/buy for christmas this year.
I'm looking at how to transition from children/teenage range to a more mature range. Currently, my book collection consists off: Harry Potter series, Time Rider series, Percy Jackson books, Skulduggery Pleasant series, the Maze Runner series and the Gone series. My only read adult collection is A Song of Ice and Fire, which I fell in love quickly.
I prefer fantasy/young adult books but I'm open to any genre at the moment. Basically, I like an unpredictable, twist-taking, exciting books with three-dimensional characters and a fantastic plot. I want something that I can't put down into I've read it cover to cover.
When I mean 'mature' book, I'm talking about gritty, darker books compared to the ones mentioned above. Nothing too extreme though. | How should a teenage male transition from reading notable teenage stories to a more adult range of books? What advice/any suggestionS? |
t3_zwjrl | AskReddit | Orbitz is making me pay a 180 dollar change fee for a one way ticket that costs 150 dollars. Am I doing something wrong? | Last december I purchased a ticket to surprise my girlfriend in NYC a few days before Christmas. Unfortunately my plans were ruined by an accident where my hand was severely cut when I fell on a glass and had to have immediate surgery. The original ticket was purchased on october 11th of 2011 and was for Dec 22 through Jan 2. I would have spent Christmas and New Year's with her. Due to the accident I had to cancel my flight and was promised a 322.08 credit for a new flight. I called orbitz a few minutes ago and was told that I had to pay a 180 dollar change fee and the travel had to be completed before October the 10th of 2012. My new plans were to go to NYC Comic Con which is the 12th - 14th. I asked if I could just book a one way flight and take a 150 dollar hit since I cancelled before. They said that on top of the new ticket fee, I had to pay an additional 180 dollars for the change. Am I asking the wrong questions? can someone explain this to me? Im so pissed off right now I can feel the heat in my face and can't think straight >.< | American Airlines helped me change a flight for 68 dollars when orbitz wanted me to pay 180 on top of the 156 for a changed flight. |
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