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t3_1rz4ij | offmychest | Ran into a phone call lottery scam today... :( | Got a call today while driving home from Thanksgiving vacation with the family. It was from a Jamaican phone # [876-487-4612 then 876-297-0703] and spoke with a "John Anderson." He did not ask my personal info, nor did he say my name. He asked me how to pronounce it, which, being stupid, I gave him my name. But no other info was given. I remembered to be cautious after that point and to take everything with a grain of salt.
He said that he was from the Mega Millions Lottery Company, and that I had won 2nd place prizefighter of $950,000 and a 2013 Mercedes Benz S-Class with 2 years of Geico insurance.
He said that the check and the car were to be delivered today, but they were backed up from making other deliveries. There would also be a 1% S&H charge ($499) - *did not ask for any information, or confirm my address*.
I was given 3 codes... a package delivery code, a combo for the briefcase, and a personal ID code.
________________________________________________________________
Then I started to ask technical questions:
* Which dealership is the car coming from?
*Oh, the one in [insert town near me with only Mercedes dealership in the state]…*
* Ok, how about the warrantees? Are the manufacturer warantees still intact?
*I'm sorry, I didn't hear you... it has Geico insurance for 2 years prepaid!*
___________________________________
It was after the call that I was able to get home and do some research into the matter... yeah, scams as far as the eye could see. The guy was even named (first/last) on an **876 Jamaica scam website**.
If the guy actually *does* show up, I had better see that check/car. But for now, fffffffuuuuuu!!! But, all-in-all, no harm was done. No personal info was given (other than name) and I didn't fall for any other tricks... I'm still sad/mad though.
___________________________________ | Fuck you, lottery scammers. Fuck you with a Mercedes Benz S-Class up the ass and a wad of $20's as a gag. |
t3_1cttuk | AskReddit | Any car mechanics care to help me diagnose my car? | Hey guys. I created this account because I'm strapped for cash and was hoping to get some help with my car as I'm not that knowledgable on the such things. I own a '93 Chevy Lumina I'm pretty sure its a 2.2L and it is 4 cylinder. Auto Transmission. My problem started two days ago. My car would seem to putt, for lack of a better word, while it was idling and giving it gas seemed to create less of an output than usual. Second day I am driving my car and stop at a red light and my car putts, stops putting and shuts itself off. I put the car in park give it a little juice as I turn the key and its back on and and seems fine until I let it idle or stop giving it gas for too long, in which case it shuts itself off. I've been discussing it with friends, coworkers and people at advanced auto parts. I think it may be either A. My fuel filter (I guess my car is so old there is no fuel injector) B. My fuel pump or C. Maybe O^2 or CO^2 sensors (my friend said something about this though the guy at advanced auto parts said that it wouldn't make my car turn off) I googled how to change a fuel filter on my car and it seems in my realm of experience. Any ideas? Alternative answers? Also... if you live around Milwaukee, WI area would you happen to know a decent mechanic or auto body place that is to be trusted? Thanks so much anyone and everyone. | My car putts, has trouble gaining speed above 40-50 mph and turns itself off if left to idle too long without pressing the gas pedal. Any explanations? |
t3_2vkj11 | relationships | Me (23F) Help I need advice. been with my boyfriend for 6 months (24M) | so I've been dating this guy for 6 months now. He's really nice, sex is good. But that's clearly not the problem. since the beginning of the relationship we have always had different views on things. The last two months have been really rocky for me. I haven't been as happy because I've been dealing with stress and money problems. I'm the type of person that doesn't like to burden people with my problems. so I don't really let anyone know whats going on. I once told him that I didn't have money to get groceries, his suggestion was to go to the food bank. He thought that would be better than actually helping me. In the end he ended up helping me, but just the idea of that being the only way to help me was crazy.( oh I should mention that he pretty much lives at my house). Last night for the 1000th time he decided he wanted to hang out with his friends. I don't mind that at all. What I don't like is that he thinks it's okay to come to my house at 3 in the morning when I have a toddler sleeping. if it's not that then he thinks I'm using him for his money or that I'm going to cheat and get someone else. we have talked about these situations at least once a week but still nothing has changed. it's getting to the point where I don't want to be with him anymore. He clearly doesn't respect my time or me as a person. I treat this man like gold but he continues to do whatever he wants. what should I do? | met him on tinder, fell for each other, now he just does what whenever, starting to hate him |
t3_4wjydz | relationships | Me [25 M] with my ex [24 M/F] - Urge to engage in sexual contact with her while not continuing the past relationship | This is just fucked up to me and I would love to hear some advice.
I had been in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend for about 2 years. As time went by, I stopped getting excited by her as I used to at the start of our relationship. This is something I did not expect and I could not seriously find any external reason for this other than the passage of time. Now that we are apart, we still talk to each other and I value her as a close friend while she seems to be still in love with me. Despite me protesting, she wants to engage in something sexual with me every time we meet probably in hopes of rekindling our past relationship.
The crazy part is now (after a few encounters with her) I have an urge for a sexual relationship with her but without the warm, fuzzy part of love we once used to have. I dislike myself for even thinking of this but the thoughts aren't going away.
Is it healthy for me and her to indulge in a relationship like this? I don't think so but I want to clear all this mess as well without getting either of us emotionally hurt. Anybody in a similar situation now or in the past can please help me out? | Was in a relationship with a girl. She still loves me but I only want sex. Hate myself for thinking like this, what can I do? |
t3_3px7k8 | relationships | I [19M] can't stop thinking about my class colleague [20F]. | Hey everyone
My problem seems to be trivial, but its starting to cause me problems in school, since I can't concentrate on studying and my degree is pretty though with weekly hard exams that I have to take.
Several months ago, I met a girl on my uni preparation courses and recently she started to act all too much friendly towards me. She started to invite me to study with her really often and went even as far as being angry at me for not going to write with her a simple email.
Now, I know she only likes me as a friend, but I have a very different outlook on friendship and I see this as something that's bordering on outright dating/dependence. I know she's not to blame, since she's unable to realise she's acting too friendly to be a mere friend.
The problem is, that my heart (if I can call it like that) is getting deceived and I keep thinking about her in a romantic ways. Even if I was wrong and she wanted to be something more, the relationship simply isn't possible.
1st of all, my top priority and rational want is to focus on career and study the subject I love (I can't concentrate). 2nd of all, We are both very dominant and strong personalities, that would benefit from a meeker partner (or someone less stubborn). I don't want to change because of that. In a result, we keep fighting and I keep getting hurt, but its also really temperamental and passionate time I spend with her.
**How long does it take to stop thinking about someone? Is there any particular way you fought it off? I need to save my academic career! | I fell in love with a classmate and I need to snap out of it ASAP. How long does it take? How? |
t3_3p5k7t | relationships | How do I(23) break up with my clingy bf(25m) in the least painful way? | Hey /r/relationships/
My boyfriend who I'll call Chase and I have been together for about a year. We recently moved into a new apartment about four months ago and since then things have gone downhill. He has always been the type of person who seeks out relationships because he does not like being single. I on the other hand enjoy my freedom a lot. I love spending my evenings alone, only having to make dinner for myself... You get the idea. Since we moved in together Chase has started to involve himself with every minute of my free time. From the minute I get home from work until the time I leave for work in the morning he HAS to be involved or else he gets mopey. If I tell him I need my space he'll try to do something together in an attempt to cheer me up. Basically I can't take it anymore. I'm not ready to settle down, especially not with this guy. He is very emotionally dependant on me and I don't know how to soften the blow so to speak. | boyfriend is too clingy and relies on me for all his happiness not sure how to soften the blow when I break up with him. |
t3_3d4yq2 | relationships | I [21 M] have been with my girlfriend [22 F] for almost 4 years. But I am not sure if we're still in a relationship... | So, I've been in a relationship for almost 4 years, and we have been living together for the past 2 years. We used to be very close, talked all the time, went out every chance we had, hugged a lot etc.
She works weekends and travels from her parents. some weeks i got back with her, but most ill stay home to finish off assignment work. when she returned it was different. she wouldn't talk to properly, No interest in going out or hugging up to watch a film. and the sex went from at least 2-3 times a week, to once every 2-3 weeks at most.
It went from being really close to feeling like i was trying to talk to someone on a bus in less than 3 days.
That was over a year ago now. Its currently at a point where any attempt to talk or hug gets met with a half arsed attempt to look up from her phone, a monotone "yeah" or "hmm" and thats it. If i do get to hug her, she will put an arm round, a quick pat on the back then push me away.
Its hard to explain but everything changed in that weekend. The way she talks, changed. She has no manners and rarely says thanks or please. she doesnt even kiss me the same. Its almost forced...
She currently treats me like I'm her flat mate who tries to give her too many hugs.
I've tried to talk to her about it, but when i do it is met with a cycled list of responses such as "I'm just a bit stressed at the moment" or "I'm not sleeping well" or even sometimes "i dunno..".
Its all been going on for over a year and I have no clue what happened. | Girlfriend became very distant a year ago, it all changed over a weekend and i have no clue what happened to us.. |
t3_433tl1 | pettyrevenge | Unnecessary Slowness | For some reason in this shitty town, there are a lot of hicks that love there big ass loud trucks and brights lights with light bars and extra lights. It doesn't make any sense to me personally, I understand having a truck in Alaska. It's practical. But the light bar, plus fog lights, plus flood lights, plus xenon lights... It's excessive. Same with the loud ass mufflers and what not.
Rant out of the way, here's the story.
My girlfriend and I were on our way back from the grocery store yesterday and we pulled up at a stoplight. This light is notoriously long. So we're sitting there for around a minute when I see some bright ass lights in my rear view, and they're coming pretty quick. The guy pulls up to a stop, centimetres from my trunk. And I'm just thinking this fucking guy.... He pulls back a little bit. We wait at the light for maybe 20 more seconds than head out. The guy revs his engine while I pull ahead.
He flashed his high beams.
I got pissed, than I started laughing as I descended from 30, to 10. In a residential area.
The guy got pissed off and honked and flashed, and I laughed my ass off.
He passed me, and almost immediately got pulled over. I felt such justice in my heart. | overcompensating truck gets made when I slow down, passes in non pass zone, get pulled over almost immediately. |
t3_qpylt | relationship_advice | relationship advice I need a serious pick-me up | So my girl of about a year and a half, us both being only 20 years young, just broke up with me because she felt that I wasn't giving her everything I can. The past months have been rough and at the start of my spring break I made it a promise to myself to better our relationship. This past week went extremely well or so I thought; we hung out a fairly reasonable amount even though we both work a ton and other things, and I tried my hardest to stay cool and make everything better. I really thought that everything was starting to turn up until she just ended it | i need pick-me up realllll bad. Any advice on how to get past the whole thing/ pictures of funny dogs on trampolines and things of that nature? |
t3_qsy9b | AskReddit | Help me plan my wedding. I suck at this. | My boyfriend of 5 years and I are getting married this August. We are both shy and do not like to the be center of attention, so the traditional large wedding is not for us. Both of our parents are recently divorced ( a year for his, 4 years for mine). I am having a horrible time trying to plan this wedding. We are paying for it ourselves, so our budget is extremely tight.
I want to have a small private ceremony at the court house by my home and then throw a reception party at my grandmother lake house which is about 2 hours from where we live.
I plan on renting a house on the lake for the weekend for ours friends to stay (about 7 people). If my parents and his were still married I'd rent a separate house for the family to stay, but they aren't so I don't know what to do with them. I cant afford to pay for all the separate hotel rooms. My mom said she can pay for her own and my dad can stay with his mom. That leaves boyfriend's parents and an aunt and uncle here and there. Neither of his parents have very much money, but I want our families to spend the weekend together because they have never met. I just want everyone to really get to know each other.
Am I asking too much for people to come stay the weekend?
I also made a registry and I don't know how I'm supposed to let people know where I registered. I never complain or ask for anything and I feel uncomfortable making demands on people.
Reddit, plan my wedding | Want to get married at court house and then a weekend long reception 2 hrs away. Both sets of parents are divorced. We are too socially awkward to plan this |
t3_3eyou2 | legaladvice | [Riverside Traffic/Appeals] Can a judge prevent you from speaking whilst presenting evidence? | I'm in the process of filing an appeal on a traffic court ruling of a speeding ticket and have a few questions about what a judge is legally allowed to do.
During the court session, the judge, in my cross-examination, rendered an objection as to why a question I was asking the citing officer was relevant to my case. Are judges allowed to render objections such as this or does this action show them acting as the prosecution?
exact quote, as per transcript:
"MR. [KEWLIO250]: Did your [Officer XXXXXX] radar show 85 miles per hour before merging onto the freeway?
THE COURT: I'm going to sustain my own objection. Why is that relevant?"
This was before I had started my testimony
Further on in the trial during my testimony, when presenting audio/video evidence in the form of dash cam footage, upon starting to present my view of the events, the judge abruptly stopped me, "THE COURT: Okay. I don't want to hear anything from you right now. Let me just review it. Okay?".
Did this violate my right to present my case/evidence?
This is the first time I am dealing with appeals court and am a bit confused about what I can do to substantiate these claims. If anyone knows of any California appellate or supreme court rulings that may be applicable to this case please let me know | Can a judge render an objection on the prosecution's behalf? Can a judge prevent you from explaining evidence you have brought forth. |
t3_o4dhz | AskReddit | Share your story about solving a problem that started out as a piece of cake but somehow turned crazy! | Despite my story, it doesn't have to be tech related.
My landlord asked me if I could help them with a digital picture frame because they received a thumb drive full of photos of their grandkids. They wanted to watch the photos on the digital frame, attached the flash drive to the USB port but failed to start the slideshow and they didn't have the user's manual at hand.
So I went to their place and they showed me up to the frame and the drive. I didn't have much experience with digital frames but I thought it shouldn't be difficult, just flip the input source to USB and endless happiness is about to come. Man, was I wrong!
The digital frame had five identically shaped buttons on the top, the labelling said 'Enter', 'Prev', 'Next', Exit' and 'Menu', seemed pretty straightforward. I got familiar with the frame's menu in no time - though it behaved somewhat odd -, it took less than a minute to find the menu item to change the input from one to another, only it was not on the same menu level as everything else and I couldn't find a way to go there.
An hour later, after furiously pressing all the buttons in all the orders possible, I managed to flip that setting and everything went fine, especially after I discovered that the labels on the 'Enter' and 'Exit' buttons were swapped in the factory. This made me feel a bit less stupid. | I was asked to set a digital picture frame to show the photos stored on a thumb drive, took me more than an hour to do so since some buttons did the opposite of what they were meant to do. |
t3_2oti95 | relationships | Me [18 F] with my ex-bf [17 M] in new relationship. I need help | Hey reddit!
I posted a while back about feeling terrible about my breakup with my BF. I went no contact with him and things were getting better.
A little background:
My BF cheated on me with a girl, lets call her Sam, and then broke up with me. He was upfront about liking this other girl and clearly stated that he needed some time alone in order to get himself together. He told me that he wasn't planning on dating Sam until sometime in 2015 because "what we [he and I] had was special and that he needed some time to separate the two relationships."
TBH I didn't really care. I was so hurt and angry. But I told him that I would like him to tell me when they started dating so I wouldn't get blind sided. He agreed, but again told me that he wasn't going to until 2015.
We talked for about a week after we broke up and tried to be friends and there for each other but it just wasn't working. I went NC.
Three weeks later, he texts me to tell me he "couldn't wait any longer" and is now dating Sam.
I know that I shouldn't care, but I feel like I just got dumped all over again. It only took him three weeks to start a new relationship after we had dated for 15 MONTHS. Please reddit, I need help with how to cope. I'm not doing well and I don't know what to do. | Ex is in relationship 3 weeks after we broke up from a 15 month relationship. I need advice on how to cope. |
t3_17brve | relationships | My[28m] girlfriend[26f] is meeting up with someone she hooked up with a few years ago for drinks while i'm out of town. | My Girlfriend and I have been together for about seven months now. I'm going out of town for the weekend with some friends in a few weeks. My GF was invited but she is not coming because she has a ton of studying to do for a test she's taking that following Monday. This trip has been planned for months.
She told me last night that a guy she hooked up with a couple years ago is coming into town to visit his grandparents that same weekend. Her best friend told her he was going to be in town and that they should get together as he doesn't know anyone here except his grandparents.
This guy was roommates with my GF's best friend when they hooked up. Apparently it was just rebound sex but the guy got attached and tried to pursue a relationship. My GF wasn't interested. I know about this not because my GF told me... but because her best friend mentioned it when we were all out for drinks one night.
I'm honestly a bit uncomfortable with it and I let her know that when she brought it up but we decided to talk about it later. She's going to be spending time away from studying to meet up with a guy when she claimed she had a ton of studying to do. She claimed it's strictly platonic but this just seems a bit sketchy.
What do you think? Sounds like a "date" to me. | GF is meeting up with a past hookup for drinks while i'm out of town. I don't know what to think about this. Help! |
t3_2zz4d6 | personalfinance | Amazon CC worth it? | My fiance and I are starting to consolidate incomes and she has never owned a CC. I currently use the Southwest card but feel the rewards aren't really as good as they used to be.
Our combined income is currently ~$75k annually but it's going to jump to ~$85k this month. I have one year left of school then we'll probably jump to >~$200k combined.
We have basically no savings aside from her 403b which she maxes monthly. However, with my earning potential starting next year going up I'm not too worried about getting to the 6 month reserve quite yet. We're definitely going to build up savings from her income this year but nothing substantial.
For the next year I'd like to help build up her credit score, mine is currently in excess of 700, while at the same time getting a good card. I thought Amazon because we 1) spend a lot on gifts at Christmas 2) I have Prime with free shipping 3) We can get a lot more use of out Amazon with extra incentive to buy household items, things we'd get at Target or other department stores.
The Amazon card is 3% cash back on Amazon purchases, 2% back at gas stations, restaurants, and drugstores (not sure if this is only Rx or just like anything at CVS), and 1% back on all other purchases with no annual limit.
The thought is that we'd make enough to subsidize our Christmas spending largely with points at the end of the year.
Personally I've never carried CC debt unless it was to finance a 0% interest item (laptop once, currently engagement ring). I put everything monthly on my Southwest card then pay it off each month. I'm think about getting the Amazon card for both of us to share, then using it for all shared expenses (eating out, gas, households, on trips, etc.) and continuing to pay it each month.
Any thoughts on if this seems like a sound plan for the next year? | Sorry if that seems kind of like I'm trying to pander the card, if you guys have better suggestion let me know please. |
t3_4j6h13 | relationships | My (20F) boyfriend (23M) of 4m told me that he initially wanted to date me for sex. | As the title says. I remember reading a post similar to this, and keeping the advice in mind I decided to post my own as I feel the details are different enough to warrant it's own post.
Essentially, yesterday, my boyfriend and I were joking (over text) about me being young compared to him. I jokingly asked why he originally wanted to date me, to which he responded "Sex."
I probably wouldn't have been offended, except for the fact when I met him and he asked me out initially I was 16 and he was 19. I'm more creeped out then anything, especially because I was at the time very religious and in some ways I still am, so sex was off the table at that point in my life. He immediately apologized, and said he's changed, he was a dick back then. And I believe him.
We dated for about two weeks back when I was 16, and there was no physical part to the relationship at that point. Broke up as we felt the relationship was inappropriate. Stayed somewhat friends and in touch as I moved away to college and only when I moved back for school did we begin dating again. He is a totally different guy from who he was back then, and I was initially very hesitant about starting a relationship but over the last four months I've seen a completely different man. One I would be OK introducing my family to, who works hard and is VERY respectful about what sex means and how it affects a relationship.
I still feel grossed out however. Partly with how young I was at the time, but also that he hadn't seen me as a person, that I was only worth dating for sex. I'm not sure this is something worth breaking up for but I just can't see myself having sex with this man right now, knowing who he was, despite his severe personality change. | My boyfriend told me that he initially only wanted to date me to have sex, at the time I was 16 and he was 19. |
t3_15gqb4 | relationships | [28F] My husband [27/M] of 3 years, partner for 12, admitted to me he masturbates to /r/gonewild and I am upset. Justified?? | My husband and I have a picture perfect relationship. We're high school sweethearts, have ZERO communication issues, and a wonderful life together. We've built something amazing over the last 12 years and while we've only been married for 3, it feels like so much longer.
We're very open about sex and have tons of fun in the bedroom. I've never had a problem with him masturbating to porn or anything. Hell, we even watch it together sometimes.
But on Christmas Eve, he told me he sometimes masturbates to /r/gonewild and it made me feel really sad. I'm never bothered when he watches porn. Men do it. Whatever. I fell asleep thinking about why I was so upset. What was it about that that really got to me? I figured that what I think my problem is is that those are REAL girls. Not that porn stars aren't...but I don't know, those are just some regular girls on the internet that are just a private message away. They're not inaccessible like women in porn. Does that make one iota of sense? Is there any justification in me being sad or upset about this? I just feel like it's different than viewing "regular" porn.
Thoughts? | Never have any probs when hubby looks at porn, but upset he visits /r/gonewild because those girls seem more "real". Am I crazy? |
t3_3c8rn1 | relationships | My boyfriend [22/M] thinks it's a good idea for me [22/F] to cut all ties with my best friend [23/F]. | A few weeks ago, I was kicked out of my apartment by best friend and our roommate. (Mainly her) I've been struggling with money, because I'm out of work for three months due to a recent car accident and my doctor said I can't work while my back is broken. And they both knew this. I filed for disability and was waiting for it for quite some time.
Let's call my friend, Melody. Now, Melody and I have been best friends ever since we met in college. We were like sisters. Her family adopted me like their second daughter and so-on.
Now, Melody can be...let's say, mentally draining to a person. She's very passive-aggressive, narcissistic, and a manipulative person who has a difficult time taking responsibility for herself while talking down onto others under the veil of "caring". I've dealt with this for almost 6+ years.
My boyfriend has visited me a couple times since we've been dating and has seen how she's treats me. After being kicked out, he told me that I need to cut all ties with her. A part of me is saying that I need to, but another part is saying that I can't. I don't have many friends where I'm from. I don't know what to do. | Best friend is very manipulative, boyfriend says I should cut ties with her. I think it's a good idea, but I simply can't. |
t3_2u0pyc | relationships | My new girlfriend has decided she trusts me enough that she wants to confide in me regarding a past rape experience. What is the best possible way I can react to her telling me this information? [x-post /r/twoxchromosomes] | I want her [29F] to know that she can always tell me [27M] things like this without fear of me reacting negatively / passing judgement / etc. We've been dating for 2 months. I love her and only want the best for her in life.
I know I probably shouldn't give her advice on reporting it etc because it's too far gone (many years) that nothing could probably be proven at this point anyway... or should I?
I'm just worried that I will react in some stupid way and she won't want to confide in me about stuff like this in the future :( I'm also very much new to relationships so I'm just seeking this general advice from you guys! | So people of /r/relationships, what is the best possible way I can receive and react to this information, such that she knows that I care and love her and she can tell me anything no matter what? |
t3_10pe7a | relationships | I've (22F) been given til tomorrow to decide what to do with him (23M) | Wee bit of background:
* Two years we've been dating
* A few fights have occurred because we moved in together too early, resulted in me moving out and us deciding to take a break
* Have since been trying to patch things over
*Tonight I saw him and we talked about whether we should end things completely; he started crying and saying how he'd try his hardest to make this work
* I have til tomorrow to decide but I'm pulling my hair out; I love him so so very much, but I don't know if or when I can regain his trust and love (yes, I cheated early on in the relationship) please don't say we should end things over this as I am very remorseful
* I am willing to give him my all but for the past couple of months he hasn't been putting much effort in and I feel unwanted
What would you do if you were in this situation? I don't know what to do. Half of me is saying make this work, you love each other and that's all that matters, while the other half is thinking about how he hasn't been trying and doesn't show his affection. | Not sure what to do with guy who has given me tomorrow to decide whether we should make things work, I love him but he does worry me and I'm sick of wondering where I stand with him |
t3_2j48dl | relationships | Me 20 M and 19 F just split from a 10 month relationship from a text she sent in the middle of the night. | My GF broke up with me from a long text explaining how we needed to work on ourselves. She also said that she will "always love me" and there's no doubt we will end up together in the end.
The above being said, I do have a temper. We do fight every once in awhile (no more than any other relationship IMO). And I realize my temper is the heart of the problem.
Instead of responding to her and calling her and guilting her into not ending it (like I wanted to do), I sent her a text saying how I agreed I needed to work on myself and we need to enjoy life right now.
Did I just end the relationship for good by reacting this way? Do "breaks" like this actually work or do they just prolong the inevitable? | GF of 10 months broke up with me through text, I responded calmly. Did I Make it easier for her to let me go? |
t3_1fbfmk | relationships | I (24f) think I might be in love with a "catfish" (30m) | Long story short, we met on match.com over a year ago and have been chatting ever since. We don't talk on the phone and don't have soul-baring discussions or anything like that, but we do have a great rapport, similar humor, similar interests, etc. and I would say we've talked almost everyday for the last year. (This might be a slight overestimate but we talk a lot.)
Anyway, our conversations have been increasingly flirty, and sometimes downright raunchy, and I definitely have developed a crush. Not sure about him.
So I guess what I am wondering is, is it possible, at least in theory to have romantic feelings for -- or dare I say love -- someone you haven't met? I ask bc though I don't think I love him I need to first decide if that would even be possible (absent self-delusion and idealization and the like). Thoughts? TIA, you all rock and I bet your families/friends are super proud of you! | Internet friends for a year, but both seeing other people currently. Have taken turns being single. Is it possible to fall for someone or love them despite not having met them? What makes it possible or impossible in your eyes? |
t3_m2gb7 | AskReddit | How can I get over my fear of flying? Has anyone else successfully done this? | I have a horrible irrational fear of flying. It's so bad, that I hyperventilate and insane panic attacks for the duration of the flight. It's so bad, that I'd rather take a 2 week freight boat trip instead. On my last flight to New York City in 2008, I literally closed my eyes and had my iPod blasting in my ears (pressing them in as hard as I could so I could pretend I wasn't on an airplane), the whole time. I had had xanax and a glass of wine before hand and it just didn't do the trick.
This fear did not come about until 2001 or so, when I was about 16 years old. Before this I flew quite often, including to Europe at least 5 times round trip. I'm not sure exactly what made me start having this intense fear, but I think it was around the time that I realized how scary death is and especially how scary and awful a death like that would be.
Eventually I started having the idea that even though the chances are extremely, extremely low (I know that I have a much higher chance dying just driving to the airport) that I simply have the exact same chance as anyone to be the 0.00001 percent who do get in a crash. The statistics do not safeguard me from being the unlucky passenger who will die in a crash when I board that plane. So I either will or I won't. 50/50. And then of course I start thinking about how horrific that kind of death would be.
I'm sure it's a ridiculous way of thinking, but I just can't get it out of my head.
I am moving overseas in about 5-6 weeks and having to take a 9 hour plane ride with my young kids.
I like to think of myself as a normally rational person, and I wonder if there is something I could learn or a different mindset I could put myself in to make this an easier process. | I have a horrible irrational fear of flying and a long overseas flight coming up in 5-6 weeks. Need some help getting over it because this time (for the first time) my kids will be with me. |
t3_41n4n5 | relationships | I [21M] just found out that my girlfriend [20F] has a reddit account... which she uses to comment on my posts | Edit: I'm just going to say that I posted this question because I was wondering if her behavior was dark/creepy/something I should be concerned about. Most of the replies make it seem like her behavior is lighthearted with nothing to really stress over, which is good! But I honestly did post this with serious intentions and concerns. Whoever posted the follow up question to this sub from the perspective of my girlfriend is just a troll.
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Throwaway for obvious reasons. But this is the fucking strangest thing. I've been dating Steph for 4 months. She doesn't use reddit. Or so I thought?
The other day, I was at her place while she was doing some housework. Kind of bored, I asked if I could check my email on her laptop, which was open and playing music. She said sure. As she went about her chores, I also decided to go on reddit for a bit.
When I went to log in, the drop down menu suggested a specific username (it didn't have the password saved, which means that even though she unchecked 'remember me' , it still remembered her username). At first I was just like a ha! She totally does reddit and was only pretending not to so I wouldn't ask for her user (can't blame her lol), but then I realized I RECOGNIZED the name.
Later when I went home, I looked it up. Every single thing this user had posted was IN RESPONSE TO ME. She literally only uses Reddit just to talk to me? And they weren't like overwhelmingly supportive or negative posts (so she's not using Reddit to bully me or otherwise). But she's just talking? It's so freaking weird.
What do I do? Do I call her out | Found out my girlfriend secretly has reddit. And she only uses it to respond to my posts. Should I tell her? |
t3_33051k | relationships | How do I [23f] tell if my [29m] boyfriend of 4 years is cheating on me? | I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, it hasn't been the best relationship, but we are both comfortable where we are and never made an effort to find other people. I love him and we are expecting a baby in August, but lately he seems to have changed. He works about 30 mins away and works at the mall which closes around 9pm, he used to get home around 10pm-10:30pm but now he isn't home until 11pm-12am.
I keep telling myself it's just my pregnancy making me parinoid, but when I ask him what took him so long he always has an excuse. Then a week ago I found out he has been giving his [27f] Coworker a ride home some nights for the last 3 months. Not only did he not mention this to me but his coworker smugly brought it up when I came to the store to drop off food.
I just find the whole situation weird, and there has been other times in our relationship where I have questioned his loyalty. He is always on his phone or playing games and our interactions ( both intimatant and not) as a couple has pretty much stopped. We don't go on dates, and if we do I'm always stuck paying. He says he doesn't have the money , but he makes more than I do and has less bills to pay. He also is always making up excuses as to why we don't go out and do things as a couple (like grocery shopping).
Sorry for the long text, I'm just frustrated tonight, it's 12am where I am at and he still isn't home. I tried calling him since we have been having bad storms all night, and he sent my call directly to voicemail. And yes I have asked him if he is cheating and he tries to use that stupid "You're just pushing your insecurities from past relationships onto this one." | Basically I just want to know if I'm over reacting due to pregnancy hormones, and being overly jealous. 4 years is a long time to be with a person, do I just take it for what is is and walk away? |
t3_34u4lm | relationship_advice | 19/M. Not sure what this girl I've been dating really thinks. | So, we went on a date, ended up walking around London for ages despite her needing to go to her parents to collect some money, she decided not to and stuck with me.
This weekend she invited me over, grandparents were out, so free house, she never invites people there though, grandparents don't allow it. So, we watched loads of movies together on her bed, all good, said I could stay if I wanted, but nothing like that was going to happen, Idc. We ended up messing around pulling pranks on each other until 3am, ended falling asleep spooning her, she liked it I assume and pulled my hand closer.
Oh, morning after she left me to sleep then walked with my (way out of her way) to the station, asked for a kiss expecting the cheek, no hesitation and on my lips, kinda quick, but good.
Still, I'm not sure what to think here, ideas? When should I ask her out next and what? Kinda stuck on ideas. | Went on 2 dates with a girl, let me sleep over, not sure what to take or how to go forward. |
t3_26ysdm | relationships | My gf's [22 F] best friend is also her ex, should I be concerned? | So I am fairly new to romantic relationships in general. The girl I am seeing goes to another college about 2 hours away. She has a lot of guy friends, including her best friend, which I am ok with. We'll call him J. What bothers me is two things. 1.) She used to date J for a brief period of time, until he started see other girls, she wanted something exclusive, so they broke up. They remained close friends 3 years since. 2.) She idolizes him. She talks about how he is the ideal romantic parter (save for the unfaithfulness). She told me this before we were in a relationship.
She called me up last night, the conversation lasted about a minute, and then she abruptly told me she had to leave. I found out later that J had shown up while she was talking to me and she decided it would be rude to have him wait while she was on the phone (I kind of get that, but some sort of explanation would have been nice). It made me feel pretty shitty. She called back a few hours later and talked about she hadn't had so much fun hanging out with him in a long time, how they made each other laugh the whole night. I felt shittier.
Here is my dilemma. I don't think they are doing anything romantic together, per se, but I think that she is settling for me. I fear that she thinks he would be perfect if he were only more interested in a serious relationship. Should I ask her if this is true? How should I bring this up to her? I already let her know that I am not super comfortable with her hanging out with J, but I trust her, and will not dictate what friends she can have. | Girl I'm seeing still hangs out with ex. I fear she might still have feelings for him. Should I be concerned? |
t3_4gidei | relationships | My (16M) formerly wonderful girlfriend (15F) is now not very affectionate, and barely even talks to me. | We have been dating for a little over 6 months before, and it's been great up until the past few weeks. Before it was pretty obvious that she loved me, we always were seen together, talked every morning, went on frequent dates, ect. Now it seems like she doesn't want to talk at all. We went to see the jungle book last Saturday and eat dinner, and she wouldn't even put her hand on my leg or do anything remotely affectionate. I talked about it once before with her and said that I was kinda disappointed that we haven't been kissing before we said goodbye and she brushed it off and said "sorry I've been distracted lately" Junior prom is coming up and I feel like maybe she's just staying with me until then because she doesn't want me to have to find another date. I feel like an engineer in the Titanic, shovelling coal into the furnace as it sinks. What should I say to her? I don't want her to be like this at prom, I would have an awful time! Please don't discount my post because of my age, this is really important to me. | Girlfriend of 6 months seems uninterested in relationship, Junior prom is coming soon and I don't want to feel unloved by my date. |
t3_45zh5k | relationships | Me [21 M] with classmate [19 F], not sure if interested or not. | So, things were interesting this weekend. Wednesday after class, we made plans to have coffee before a group meeting Saturday. Saturday also happened to be my birthday, but I left that part out. A couple hours before, she asked for a raincheck because a coworker called out; she was late to the meeting so I'm sure it was legit.
That night, the boys and I went out to have drinks, peer pressure wins and I have to much; I ended up drunk texting her. It wasn't so bad, I just said "Hey". Once she replied I pretty much said I was hammered and it's probably best to just ignore me right now.
Sunday morning, I sent an apology about texting her late, she doesn't get back to me until that night saying it was no problem. It's Monday now, and she didn't sit next to me for once (there was empty seats) and I didn't have the chance to speak to her. I may be reading to much into it, but I think I mayyyy have left a bad impression now. We have the class tomorrow, and I plan on asking her if she's free this weekend, but in the back of my head now I'm a little unsure. Is this just in my head, or did I probably mess up somewhere? | Raincheck on coffee, birthday drunk me texts her, we haven't spoken. See her tomorrow, but feeling a little unsure now. |
t3_1co5xh | AskReddit | Reddit, what's your best "what kind of complete idiot did that... oh.. it was me" story. | I'll share mine.
One beautiful morning after a really stormy night I woke up to this annoying sound coming from outside. It was not some ordinary noise, like car alarm or fire alarm or some siren, but a constant low-pitch monotone and a really annoying sound somewhat dulled by the distance. I tried to ignore it for half a day by closing doors, windows, curtains and all, hoping it will end at any moment. To no avail. By the noon I got really fed up as to why the idiot responsible for this is not doing anything about it, so I set out to investigate.
I stepped outside. It was impossible to immediately tell the direction the sound was coming from. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. I had to play "hot-cold" with the intensity of the sound. So after wondering around for a bit I turned round a corner to a parking lot; the sound got really loud and clear. It was a car horn on one of four cars parked there. Being like 100 feet away and the sound being really loud, I couldn't tell from which car though. And guess what... yes, you guessed... one of the cars was mine. The horrible truth started knocking into my consciousness, and with each step closer it went deeper and deeper, until it struck the bottom like 10 feet away - *the sound was coming from my recently bought pre-owned car*. I jumped inside, switched the ignition on and off, and luckily the horning ceased. Otherwise my agony would continue for noone knows how long while I would try to borrow a wrench from someone to disconnect the battery.
I guess I was lucky that day on several accounts. The car did not catch fire, noone vandalized the car or called the police or left a note of eternal damnation.
*The technical details.* Someone who has been changing the windshield on my car thought he would save some time and/or money by not applying the base before applying the main adhesive sealant. So eventually it started leaking and dripping... directly onto body ECU block. Also, that day I learned that apparently car horns are not designed to go for half a day without a pause. It died the moment it was turned off. | was really annoyed with a constant monotone sound from outside for half a day; turned out it was electrical problems on my car involving a horn. |
t3_jv3q7 | AskReddit | (1st)Hey Reddit, I performed my good deed of the day...how about you? | Just wondering if anyone else out there follows this and does good things as much as they can without hesistating...
What I did today:
Got on the bus to work this morning and there was a cute girl sitting near the doors in the middle, I glanced, and then passed and sat in the back, shortly after the bus starts moving I notice this creepy old dude sitting near the front of the bus across from her, late 30s or early 40s (she looked my age mid-20s) just staring at her really really pervertedly, I thought okay he's gonna look and turn away....wrong, he just kept staring and making weird half winks n whispering things under his breath, so I put myself in her shoes, got disgusted and went and stood in front of her till my stop which was hers too. Didn't look at her, didn't say anything. Just blocked a perverts view. | (still dont know what this means...) I got in the way of a pervert's view of a pretty lass. |
t3_3p1r8l | tifu | TIFU by taking a cookie from a cafeteria | For reference, I'm in high school currently. Also, unlike most TIFUs, this actually happened today.
It started off as a normal day, but during my break, my friend asked me to buy him a cookie. My school's cafeteria has a line system, where we pick up our food and put in our PIN at the end of the line to pay for our food (our money is already in an online account). He's my friend, so I thought, why not? Now, my other friend was also coming with me, as he wanted to buy something as well. It turned out, he wanted a cookie too. He came up with what he thought was a great idea. Take one cookie out of its' wrapper and put it underneath another cookie. We get 2 cookies for the price of one, and nobody will ever notice! I saw a teacher looking at us, so I told him to put it back. But no, he wouldn't listen. He took it to buy, and the lady took him and me down to the office, where I got a lecture and had to be (embarrassingly) picked up by my parents. This wasn't even my idea. My friend did everything, and I just got caught with him. | Friend comes up with plan to take cookie. Plan doesn't work, we get caught, but I didn't do anything. |
t3_135tfo | jobs | Just got an entry-level job offer as a Quality Engineer. Should I try to negotiate for a higher salary? | So a bit of background first. I'm a recent (may 2012) grad with a BS in chemical engineering from a decent program. Based on an NACE salary calculator analysis ([found here] a chemical engineer with my qualifications would have a starting salary between 63k and 77k.
With that in mind, I just got an offer of 50k with full benefits. The position is one as a quality engineer at a fairly small company. The position itself involves elements of quality control, process engineering, and some chemistry work.
Basically, I'm curious as to whether I should try to negotiate considering I don't have any experience in industry (I worked a research position at my school instead of doing an internship). It just seems like 50k is kind of a lowball offer for a chemical engineer. Any and all input is greatly appreciated. | Lesson learned is that it doesn't hurt to ask as long as you go about it the right way. See crimson 117's [link] for advice on that. |
t3_164b5g | relationship_advice | [f21] Tossing up to get back with my ex [m20], please tell me your opinions Reddit. I'm feeling a bit stupid. | We went to college together but I've finished. We broke up because he was talking dirty with other girls online and left it open on my laptop. I can never describe how I felt when I saw the things he'd written and how much he disrespected me.
We were both devastated when I broke it off but we kept hanging out and sleeping together up until about 2 months ago. I've finished college, I have no job and I feel so lonely. He's the only person who talks to me every day and I know he still cares about me. I think about him all the time and wish he was with me every day, but I can't help but feel like he never saw what was so wrong about what he did and that he's probably doing it right now.
I can't stop crying from how lonely I feel. My heart feels so heavy in my chest. I haven't told him I still care because I don't know if it would be wise. It's on the tip of my tongue every day though and I want to tell him before he dates someone else.
WHAT SHOULD I DO? | I still care about my ex boy who I broke up with and am trying to toss up whether to get over it or get back into it. |
t3_dg2fk | AskReddit | Was anyone else raised in a Republican household, but now wants nothing to do with them? | I've read several articles, and have been told by many teachers that most individuals will vote for the same political party that their parents voted for. While I don't doubt the validity of saying 'most people'...whenever I discuss this with others they seem to assert that by 'most' they mean '99%'.
I remember having my high school Poly-Sci teacher laugh at me when I told him I probably wasn't going to be voting Republican in the '04 election. "I'm pretty sure you will", he said. I didn't.
I'm just curious how many redditors have steered away from the political party of their parents. After completing undergrad, I looked back and realized that 'most' is definitely true. I feel kind of alone in this regard. Anyone else? | I was raised Republican. I'm now a pseudo-libertarian, but 'Pluralist' is probably a more appropriate term. |
t3_hvig3 | relationships | The "...as long as [he/she] is coming home with me" theory. Please help me understand it. | Me 29,
Her 29,
Dating on and off 3 years
I feel a certain way when they know she's in a relationship, but when they're not aware I definitely cant knock it. The flirting they approach her with at times is subtle and at other times is blatant.
For example on several occasions she has gotten flowers sent to her at her job. Sometimes they're anonymous and sometimes they're not. Her thing is that its ok to accept the flowers either way as long as it doesnt go any further. She says that she shouldnt have to refuse them and that I shouldnt be "insecure" about it as long as she's "coming home with me".
This idea intrigues me because Ive heard it alot from both guys and girls. That flirting is harmless and that significant others shouldn't be too concerned because he or she is "coming home with me".
Im not convinced. I feel that there are principles and boundaries that my girlfriend isnt respecting if she accepts flowers and or gifts from other guys. Am I being insecure, jealous, etc? Is there another way I should look at this? | Is it ok for a girlfriend to accept flirting, flowers, and/or gifts from other guys as long as "she's coming home with me"? |
t3_2oiuuc | relationships | Me [22 M]with my GF [20 F] of a year and 9 months, broke up because.... | So pretty much she brokeup with me because on Nov 1st I went to a party bus. I didn't want to go but my cousin insisted. I didn't cheat on her, I didn't fuck or kiss or do anything with a girl. I did dance with a mutual friend of ours for like 2 mins. But I didn't do anything.
Now on the prty bus, there was this girl who used to talk to me. I hadn't talked to her for a long time. There were feelings between us but that was wayyyy before i met my gf. So a month goes by and my gf asks me if I had anything with the girl on the bus, because girl on the bus was saying I was shady.
So my gf and I let it go. Then yesterday, my gf confronts me about the party bus. I confess to her and tell her the truth. I know i fucked up by not letting her know that I went, but it wasn't also for her to break up with me. She has lied to me about stuff before, but apparently it doesn't count. She told me she feels betrayed and can't trust me anymore and that she needs her time now.
So now i'm stuck here taking the blame because I didn't tell her the truth. Do you guys think she is overreacting or if she's right? Because I really don't want to lose her. This is my longest relationship and all throughout it I have had fun and it sucks when you lose a person you love. Thanks guys. | went on a party bus, didnt tell gf, she found out from a girl on the prty bus, and broke up with me. |
t3_l3av9 | AskReddit | Can anyone give advice to concerned college senior? | This is to all the redditors who are now in what the college world calls 'real'. It's my senior year and it's time to go job searching, but I feel like I am screwed.
I am a Computer Science and Computer Engineering double major. My grades are very good, and I enjoy working with computers (obviously), but I feel like I'm trapped. I've had 2 internships over the last 2 summers, both with reputable software companies (at the first was where one of my fellow interns introduced me to reddit). The only problem is that I hated it. I did the work as best as I could, but the only thing that made those summers bearable were the friends that I made. I really didn't enjoy the work I was doing and felt like I knew nothing.
That is what I think the root of the problem is, I feel like I don't know anything and the workplace just doesn't appeal to me. I know it's really easy to say 'deal with it' and that it's just a first world problem, but it's something that has really started to bug me. It's the moment where I realize that i can't say "I'll figure it out" with regards to what I'm doing.
Is there any advice you guys can give me, or questions you'd like to ask? | I have good grades, but am worried about finding a job because, when translated into the workplace, I don't like my field of study. |
t3_jjef6 | AskReddit | Reddit, is it 'crazy' material when I wish that my SO would get just a tiny bit jealous when I go out with guys who I liked and/or liked me in the past? | I'm quite comfortable with him meeting other girls. But I do feel a tiny bit insecure and jealous sometimes when he's out with a cute girl, especially when I'm halfway across the world (long-distance. woohoo) and I know she's his type. I trust him fully, and I detest those clingy possessive types, so I usually laugh off my insecurities and honestly encourage him to go for it.
My SO thinks that's stupid, though. He's incredibly level-headed and he's perfectly happy with me going out with anyone and everyone. He thinks it's slightly crazy that I feel a little jealous sometimes (he knows I trust him), and he thinks it's crazier that I wish that *he* would feel like that sometimes, too, instead of being so perfectly fine with it.
I'm happy that he trusts me, but a girl likes to feel that she's worth getting a bit jealous over, doesn't she...? | My SO thinks I'm going into 'don't stick your dick in crazy' territory when I say I wish he would get a little jealous over me meeting up with guys alone. Am I nuts in feeling that way? |
t3_2cyy3i | relationship_advice | She [18/f] have a bf but she look very close to me [20/m] | Hello,
One night I was bored and I went to Omegle just for fun. After only 2 guys who nexted me because I was a guy, I talked to a girl. After some times she asked me my kik and from this time (1 month ago) we talk every days. She said me that she have a bf and he seem nice with her, but she always compliment me when I send a picture of me and she ask for more pictures. She said that I'm a really nice guy and I deserve a good gf. She call me sweetie or sweetheart and she send me hearts every time. But there is a problem, I live in France and her in usa so we can't see each others. But because of that, she always said that it's bad that we can't see each others and said that she really want to see me. She even said that she want to do school abroad to see me. The last night she said that she feel weird when closing her eyes to sleep and said that she maybe was about to do a nightmare. So I said here to think about something she like. And she said that I can't be here so it doesn't work.
Here the question : Do she love me ? Or I'm just a very close friend to her even if we live at 3000 miles away ?
I really like her but I don't know how to act with her. I don't want to do too much but every time I say to myself that she just like me for a friend, she send me a message like the other night and I can't stop thinking about it.
I precise that I never be so close to a girl, even with my ex (we had only 14y old) I didn't. And I don't have many practice about relationship. | She have a bf but she act like she love me and I don't know if I'm only a friend for her or more than that. |
t3_jhxpu | AskReddit | Rescued a falcon from certain death in Afghanistan. What now? | Hey guys. I'm currently deployed in Afghanistan and our team recently rescued a falcon who was being tortured and about to be killed by some very cruel people. When we took him in he didn't seem to be doing so well. But, it has been close to a week now and he is in better spirits, eating meat, and hopping around.
Sadly, his tail feathers have been torn out and he is unable to fly. He can flap his wings and jump small distances, but he has definitely lost his balance and has unsure footing perched on my hand. We're worried that his feathers will never grow back and he'll never be able to go back into the wild.
From images on the web, I think he is a lesser kestrel and probably not more than a year old. It looks like he still has some baby feathers and he does certain things that young birds might do, like call when he's hungry. None of us are experts in any way, shape or form, so we can't be sure.
We really like the little guy and want him to be comfortable. We have a very large cage for him where he can spread his wings but we seldom keep him there. We just let him hang out on our deck most of the day. We assume he doesn't run away because we're a source of food and he can't hunt on his own.
Does anyone know what we can do to keep him happy until he is well enough to fly away? What should we feed him? Does he need any kind of stimulation like some domesticated birds do? Mind you, we don't have access to animal resources so it's difficult to obtain typical bird handling supplies. I used to be based out of Kabul where I might have been able to find some useful shops, but I now live in the provinces. Please help.
Here's a picture of him falling asleep in our office: [Photo](
I'll post more pictures when I get the chance. | Rescued little falcon buddy. Tail feathers gone. Don't know how to take care him properly. Need info on how nurse him back to health until he can be on his own |
t3_3mjke9 | relationships | Wife [30F] says she "needs" me [29M] to "be the dom" 24/7. This doesn't come naturally to me. | My wife and I have been happily married for almost 10 years. I'm an easygoing guy, and my wife has always been assertive and stubborn--a relationship dynamic that we have approached with respect and that has served us well. However, we've been exploring some BDSM play over the past year or so, and my wife finds that she *really* loves being dominated, and not just on a sexual level. It's an intense source of comfort and stress relief for her, and she has begun to crave it both in and out of the bedroom.
My problem is that she expects it *at all times*, and she gets upset when she feels like I'm not being assertive enough.
I don't know how to explain the way this makes me feel. It's a mixture of embarrassment and frustration, I suppose. Like I explained above, I'm not an alpha male by nature, and I've always been comfortable in that skin. I like being a dom in the bedroom sometimes and occasionally putting my foot down in the real world. But I don't know if I can play that role 24/7. I'm not Christian Grey or Gideon Cross or whoever-the-hell.
So I ask: Should I explore this lifestyle and try to acclimate myself to a permanent dom-role because it means so much to my wife? Is she being unfair or unreasonable? Should I push back? Am I being spineless about all this? | Wife finds great satisfaction in being dominated, wants me to be *very* aggressive 24/7, sexually and nonsexually. This doesn't naturally jive with my personality, but I'm willing to put in the effort. |
t3_2vm059 | relationships | Concerned for my Girlfriend's well-being | hey reddit I need some help. so my girlfriend(23f) and I(27m) have been dating for about 9 months. She is currently not going to school, she was and decided not to go back. my concern is she doesn't seem to be pursuing or be passionate about anything right now. I like this girl a lot but writing this out really hurts me and makes me confused. She works as a waitress (nights only) at a five star restaurant and makes really good money but when we talk it almost sounds like she's content for doing this for the rest of her life. thats fine but the issue is she complains about the job more than I've ever heard anyone complain about their job before and at times it (the job) makes her cry. so her job isn't perfect, no one's is.
I'm just struggling right now because she doesn't seem like she wants to improve her life job wise or even doing some type of exercise. I can't even get her to go on a 20minute run with me. She just comes home does nothing and goes back to work and I'm really bothered by that. I've tried talking to her about it and she gets really upset and I don't know what to do. I can see myself with her for the rest of my life but as of lately she just doesn't do much and I would love it if she was just motivated towards life. also, I understand that I can't control her and tell her what to do so please don't tell me that, that's not the advice I need as I already know. I just don't understand, my whole life friends and family have told me I need to be motivated and pursue something in life - anything. This girl is great but she's just not interested by anything. I wish she was more physically active as I love being physically active on my off time. The job concerns me though. she was going to school for botany and now seems content to be a server her whole life. We talk of future goals and I just wish she wanted more for herself but I can't force her to do anything. so reddit, what do you think I should do? I like the girl so much but she has me worried. | Girlfriend I like more than any other girl is becoming very unmotivated towards improving her life. what should I do? |
t3_3rgu0e | relationships | Living with friend situation. | So, I am 27 and living in a apartment with my friend and his wife. They moved to California from vegas and where about to move into a one bedroom for $1700 a month and then before they moved in we decided to move into a two bedroom together ($2125 total I pay $1000 + 1/3 utilities and they pay 1125 +2/3 utilities) .
I decided to move in with them because I was 27 and wanted to do something different and I had a full time job + rental income coming in from houses. We are about 8 months in and I just decided I want to get AT LEAST my AA. But to do this I have to cut my hours at work and work part time. So the 1000 a month for rent is kind of a lot for me.
I was thinking about moving back home after the 1 year lease expires while I go to school so I can save money. I told my friend this and he said that they planned on me being a roommate with them for 3 years+ ( we only got a year lease and i didnt say anything like this when i moved in)and that with out me they will struggle to pay the rent as they live in yorba linda and are unwilling to "downgrade" if you are not familiar with yorba linda california it is one of the most expensive places to live in California and he said that worst case they will have to move back to vegas and if they did that they will stay there for good.
My struggle is that on one hand I don't want to be stressing out about money just so he won't be mad at me for moving out / be the cause of their stress or moving away. And on the other hand I don't see how they are not willing to compromise and move somewhere else or maybe get cheaper cars? (They pay $1000/month in car payments alone for 2 cars)
I did live with them at one point in vegas but I did not like being away from my family in california so I left after 3 or 4 months so I don't want to feel like iam ditichin them again. | Living with friend not sure if i should move back home and save money or bite the bullet and continue to live with friend |
t3_2j77hx | relationships | How do I [M30] breakup with my girlfriend[F 34], without totally destroying her life? | Sorry for my bad english.
For reasons I don't want to say I need to brake up with my girlfriend of 5 years( I don't love her anymore) The problem is that she is financially depended on me and I don't want to ruin her life.
I have a succesfull construction company and we are living together in a house I bought before we meet. Also we both work in this house (paperwork) At the begining she was just answering phones etc and now she runs some of the buisness(contacs with clients etc)
She is not officialy employed here and I take care of all the money stuff.
So how can I even brake up with her? Do I fire her?? Kick her out of the house? I really can't do that :( I am not a monster. | GF in completly depended on me and I want to brake up and have no idea how to do this "the right way" |
t3_1kyzhc | relationships | How soon after a breakup is too soon for me [27F] to ask him [30M] for non-relationship-related help? | We dated for 9 months and had been saying we loved each other for 2.5 before he ended it two weeks ago, due to conflicting long-term plans and innate differences between us. I asked him to give us one more chance, and he seemed open to thinking about it, but a week later, he finalized the breakup. I told him I agreed that it was for the best, but I was just trying to save face, because I still want to be with him. The next night, I sent him an E-mail asking him to reconsider, but he hasn't replied. We've now been doing NC for a week.
My question now is: when can I ask him for help on buying a bicycle? I don't have a car anymore and I want a road bike to get around. Not only is he the only person I know who knows about bikes, but he is ridiculously overqualified on the subject. I just ride the things; I don't know anything about quality or price or anything, but I know they can be expensive, so I'd like the most help I can get. Unfortunately, the person who would be the most helpful just dumped me.
I'm doing a lot better a week later, but I can't lie that part of the reason I want to contact him is that I still want to be with him. However, I honestly DO want to get a good bike for my money, since I'm a broke new grad. How soon is too soon to ask him for help? | He [30M] broke up with me [27F] one week ago after 9 months together, would like to know when I can break NC to ask him for bicycle help. |
t3_1pf3x1 | AskReddit | How do i deal with my roommate who smell smells really bad? | Like the title says how do I go about doing this. I am literally at my wits end always coming home to my apartment and smelling what can best be described as ass-sweat mixed with a base of shit.
The smell is definitely coming from him as I have walked by his room and nearly barfed because of the odors coming from his room. Hes also walked by me when I have been in my living room and I caught a wiff of his scent which nearly made me gag.
My entire apartment is starting to smell like his room as well and the bathroom is near unapproachable for several hours after he uses it. I only came on here to ask because this is a very strange issue which I am sure not alot of people have to deal with. | my roommate smells terrible and is stinking up my entire apartment. I do not know how to go about telling him to fix it because it's becoming unbearable. |
t3_4q0bmf | relationships | I [15M] have 7 sisters and I found out my mom is pregnant with another girl. Making it 1 boy & 8 girls. I can't help but feel upset | 10 sisters
I want to start of by saying I love my sisters, we all get along great yeah sure I don't see my older sisters as much as I use too, but we all live in the same city (except for the ones at college) but they come home to visit. I know they are just a phone call/Facebook/skype away if I need any of them. The siblings are
1. Bucky/Buck (Me 15M)
2. Lilly (9F)
3. Violet (13F)
4. Chloe (17F)
5. Abby (19F)
6. Alexis (22f)
7. Skye (24F)
8. Jane (26F)
I personally think my parents need to stop, not my place to say but they have given me enough siblings to last a lifetime. I have so many as I said. Family is very important to us and growing up with sisters is challenging. They can get really moody sometimes and It's unreal.
I was kinda hoping for a brother to have another guy to talk too, I have friends, but If I am having a guy problem I would like to have a brother to go too. I can't help but feel extremely upset that this baby is not a boy.
How can I get over this? | I am upset that my mother is pregnant with another girl, I can't help but be upset she is not a he. How do I get over this because I just want a brother, I am giving up hope on ever getting one |
t3_3j3u3w | relationships | Me [22 M] with my fiance [20 F] of 3 years, I feel like I don't deserve her or my family | I have rewritten this whole thing about 5 times over and I can't seem to keep concentration enough to make the post coherent and not a mess you would find by randomly jumping through someones memories and feelings... So I'm gonna try to just sum it up.
Due to really bad attention and fatigue issues that I have mentally, as well as problems I have with my feet causing me to have (what I believe to be called) an "invisible disability". I now stay home with my son and pull disability every month while my fiance works 50+ hours a week to keep us afloat. We have no money for daycare and I bring in no extra income aside from the disability. I realize I am a deadbeat and feel it is only a matter of time until my fiance realizes the same and starts regretting being with me (even though right now she says I'm not, she is the kind of person who always tries to look at the best of people).
I just feel like I need to do better, but every time I do something stops me (and it's not lack of motivation). Bottom line being, I'm a deadbeat who gives up on everything. I live off my fiance. And I hate feeling this way. | I'm a deadbeat, want to do better but don't know how to beat my issues. Don't want to lose her over my incompetence. |
t3_pc95o | AskReddit | Wireless network issue - please help! | Hi e'rybody! /askreddit definitely isn't the right subreddit to ask this question, but perhaps someone can help me (out of the kindness of their heart), despite my ignorance.
So I just moved to a new country, and am getting settled into my new apartment. First things first (in this technological day and age) was to get connected to the Internet and let my dad know that I landed safely, etc. My landlord tells me the name of the wireless network, and says that there's "no password". I look it up on my iPhone (what I am currently typing on) and sure enough I can connect to said unsecured network. Immediately I assume that there will be no problem connecting with my travel laptop...and so the issues begin.
I look up the same network on my laptop (it's an Acer running on windows XP) using the standard "wireless network connection" program, and it says that the same unsecured wireless network that my phone is currently connected to is, in fact, a secured network and thusly needs a password. Is there some security setting on windows that I need to change? Or any logical reason at all as to why there would be a difference of opinion over the same network between my phone and my laptop? | Phone can connect to wireless network, computer says "bitch, please" to same network, demands a password that doesn't exist. |
t3_2nzrrq | relationships | Me [20 m] with my gf [19 F] 2mths, feeling to end the relationship because im selfish | I'm not inexperienced in relationships
My gf and I are both in the same class at college. We hit it off straight away, the start of this relationship was utterly perfect, I swear to you I met my soulmate and I just couldn't wait (literally) to ask her to be my gf which was about after 3 weeks of knowing her but baring in mind we'd see each other in class 3x a week
**selfish part** Anyway things were all perfect but I think that was only because she used to be "lonely" like I was, now she's goten some new friends and I feel like she's just been slacking with me. Conversation isn't filling, she gets high without me, does everything basically without me. A part of me is really happy for her because obviously she's enjoying herself and what not, but another part of me really wishes that she'd lose her friends again so that we could go back to how we were..
**my conclusion** I think I'm too immature if this is becoming a problem, I mean i literally only use my phone for her and my mum and sometimes she'll randomly disappear during convo, leaving me to just throw my phone somewhere because I know she won't msg back for another 30 mins-4 hours ( no joke). And this makes me feel like I'm unimportant, heck I even feel resent towards her. So I just think that if this persists then maybe I should just break it off with her. Just need advice | gf used to be lonely, got friends, now I feel like things are shit. I don't wanna love her anymore, I'm selfish |
t3_2pj9mk | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [23 F] since march, she cheated on her ex with her other ex, also her best friend | Hey all, I'm here like many of you because of my human brain and the insecurities it spits out as thoughts occasionally.
I've been seeing this girl since march, may she stuided abroad 6 weeks and then july i moved 3000 miles away. we stayed in touch but didnt want to label anything. she visited me in sept, it was a lot of fun and then we recently met up for a day over thanksgiving weekend.
heres her back story. HS bf was weird, didnt fully commit to her but they had been together for a year on and off, lived together a little and then fought and she met someone that new years at a party. she dated this guy for 4 months but during the dating cheated with the ex. she told me this herself and thinks its one of the worst things shes ever done.
Her and the hs ex bf are still best friends, i trust her, but i am also human and 3k miles away. I've hung out with them once and it was okay, nothing odd from them, he barely acknowledged me and her as a thing but was generally nice.
My question is, is it fair to ask her 'If you cheated on him with HS ex, what makes me different that you wont cheat again?'
I know this is gonna stir up some doo-doo, but we are very open and honest with each other about everything. | current gf is best friends with her hs bf ex, cheated on last ex with hs bf 2 years back, she told me when we started dating, should i ask her why she wont cheat on me? |
t3_2fv2dq | relationships | I [F16] feel uncomfortable when my boyfriend [20M] of a year spends the night at girls' houses? | I know by the title it seems that my boyfriend is crazy and probably cheating on me. I know this isn't the case. But it still bothers me.
Essentially, my boyfriend of one year has a lot of friends who are girls (mostly his ex's, too), and occasionally he'll stay the night at their houses. On nights where he goes to parties, he'll often stay there over the night and share a bed with someone, be it a girl or boy. I've told him how uncomfortable this makes me and he assures me that he has no feelings for them and would never cheat on me in any way, and that if they starting coming onto him he would push them away and essentially tell them to "fuck off."
I try not to be jealous, but I often can't help it. Even if it's a friend he's known forever, I can't help but feel angry and worried when he stays the night with them. It seems as if his closest friends are his exgirlfriends. I don't know if this is an issue of me being overly worried and jealous, or him acting inappropriately (or both).
I'd appreciate some advice on the matter and what I should do. It's not big enough of an issue that I would consider breaking up with him, as I do truly love and trust him, but it still causes me pain that I can't seem to let go of. | My boyfriend stays the night with girls and insists that it's platonic and he would never cheat, but I still feel jealous. Advice? |
t3_4lgryv | relationships | I (21 M) felt ignored by my gf (23 F) at a wedding we both attended yesterday. | We've been together for 3 months and this is the first wedding we attended together we were both invited to the whole day of festivities and overall it was good. I don't like weddings or big parties though, I struggle at them and she know that. Throughout the whole day she kept talking to her friends who are more social and didn't ask how I was holding up or anything. 1 or 2 of her friends asked if I was okay as I'm good friends with a few of them and I just said yes. Heck at one point during the night I got up to dance with her (trust me getting on a dance floor is a big deal for me) and she just turned away and continued dancing with her friends. I felt so lonely. At the end of the day before I left (we were going with different people) I told her I loved her and she just said 'aww' and scrunched up her face. I feel pissed that she didn't show me much attention. Am I being ridiculous or do I have a right to feel angry? | gf talked to her friends all day at a wedding when she knows I struggle at big party environments. Am I right to be annoyed? |
t3_4h49dh | relationships | My fiance (22M) and I (22F) just got engaged. We've lost all our friends in one fell swoop. | Okay, perhaps I'm being dramatic. I wouldn't say we've 'lost' them all, but they certainly don't act the same around us anymore. We're all about to graduate college, and it's the time of year where people either break up with their significant others or attempt long distance. My fiance and I wanted to live together, and we both felt that engagement was a prerequisite. So we got engaged. We'd been together since day 1 of college (3.5 years) and we felt it was the right time to take the next step.
Now, our college has a higher number of engagements than you would expect in this day and age, since it's a catholic school. But it's usually a certain type of couple that gets engaged, a very conservative virginal type. My fiance and I don't fall under that category. For this reason it seems to be alienating all our friends.
Don't get me wrong, we got a lot of facebook likes and things, but our mutual friends have been trying to talk us out of it. They think I'm going to give up my career aspirations (I'm not), that I'm stifling my boyfriend (he turned down a silicon valley job) and things like that.
A LOT of people have been asking if I'm pregnant. Or they tell me waiting for sex isn't worth it and we should just fuck and not get married. We're very private about our sex life so I always just ignore these statements rather than retaliate.
Now, I realize when you get married it's just you and your spouse against the world, and that other people shouldn't matter. For what it's worth, I agree with that. But neither of us make friends easily and I was looking forward to keeping in touch with these people, inviting them to our wedding, etc. I didn't want to be completely without friends when I started the next chapter of my life, but it looks like that'll be my situation. How do I cope with this? | All our friends oppose our engagement. Obviously my fiance is more important than them, but it sucks to be without friends. How do we deal? |
t3_36dhum | relationships | I (23F) want to get married to my boyfriend (28m) of 18months, before my granddad's (76m) Alzheimer's gets worse | I'm extremely close to my family, and my grandads got Alzheimer's. He's still having good days and knows who we are, he really loves my boyfriend and latches onto him at family gatherings - he's no longer confident talking to a lot of people as he looses his train of thought and gets frustrated and confused, but he will chat to my boyfriend for hours. My boyfriends really great with him and all of my family.
Me and my boyfriend live together, love eachother a lot and will get married in the future. But I think of how badly my granddad has deteriorated in the past 5 years and I feel if we wait to marry he will not be well enough to attend or be part of it. It would really mean a lot to me if they could see me marry as I'm their eldest grandchild and they've done so much for me over the years.
My boyfriends grandparents are also frightfully old and frail (in their late 80s). Is getting married earlier to include them reasonable? And should I bring up how I feel with my boyfriend, I don't want to rush things for the wrong reasons, but we're going to get married anyway and it would mean so much to me and my family if my grandparents could be part of it. | want to get married sooner rather than later to include my family, is that a sensible reason, and if so how should I ask my boyfriend? |
t3_2as6m3 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my GF [17 F] of 3 months, broke up 2 days ago, can't get past it | This girl and I had started dating a few months back and everything was going perfectly. We were incredibly similar, both had similar issues that we talked through so easily it felt like we'd known each other for years and years. We both knew that we were very into each other and we talked every single day for hours on end.
Once the summer rolled around she was taking a trip out of the country for 3 weeks. We had both talked about it and were okay with what was happening, knowing it was only going to be a short break and then we were excited to pick things up again. I was able to talk to her there too and nothing seemed to change when we communicated, still the same old girl I knew. When she came back though she started to act very distant, almost like a completely different person. The next time we spent time together I brought up that I felt she was acting different and it all went downhill
She said that her being independent while away made her realize that at this point in her life she needed to be by herself and there was too much going on in her life for her to hold her end of the relationship up.
This girl was one of my best friends and I am having serious trouble coping with not being able to talk to her or see her, becuase I still have immense feelings for her. In our last talk she told too that she still liked me as much as she did before but just couldn't hold up a relationship. I feel if I believe that I'd be too naive.
I'm just looking for some advice from someone, I'm feeling lonely and wondering if my hopes of ever getting back together with this girl are impractical. | GF broke up with me after coming back from a long-ish trip, first few days back she acted very distant and different and then out of the blue ended things. |
t3_2fnehx | relationships | Me [18M] think I'm falling in love with a girl [18F] and I'm too scared to do anything about it. | So I go to school with this girl who I only really got to know last year. We live in the same village only a few doors down so naturally we started to hang out a lot.
There came a point when she would be coming to mine pretty much every day after school for a few weeks. I never really thought anything of it until recently when I decided to 'make a move' when that time came and she said she thought of me as a friend and nothing more.
We stopped talking for a few weeks after that but then met at a party and instantly reconnected.
Now back to school we're hanging out again and she even set me up with a job where she works. I'm a bit of a clingy person for various childhood reasons and so she's really important to me and I feel like I'm in love with her: I've never in all my past relationships felt anything like I do with her.
I want to try again but I feel like if I get turned down things will become increasingly awkward at school and I would really miss hanging out with her most days. | Friends with a girl who I think I'm in love with, don't have the courage to say so, at a bit of a crossroads. |
t3_najr7 | relationships | BF was drugged and sexually assaulted I dont know what to do. | Im 21f and he's 22, we've been together for 2 years. He went out of town the other night with a friend (whom I really dont approve of) and ended up having to stay the night out there. They stayed with this guy the friend met out there last time he visited. I was out drinking with one of my friends at home, he called me a few times, I answered for one incoherently- but I do remember him telling me some guy just tried to make out with him, but didn't really put too much worry into it in the state I was in.
He calls me early the next morning and tells me he woke up in this guys bed naked and doesn't remember anything. I immediately leave to go get him given that where he was is only an hour away. He seemed shaken up but from what I could tell was handling it much better than I had expected. I took the day off work and tried to surround with all the love and support I could- he didn't really want to talk about it, and I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it as well.
As the day continued he seemed alright, but at night he really became uneasy and started looking through his phone trying to draw up a timeline and talking with the friend he went with. He thinks that he passed out/blacked out shortly after his phone call to me. His so-called friend was intoxicated (they had all been drinking) and went to vomit then doesn't recall what happened. Only my BF was drinking the booze the guy kept handing him and thats how he thinks he was drugged.
He feels extremely violated and I can tell that he is struggling trying to cope with this. He is very reserved, and even has a hard time sharing his feelings with me, so I dont know what to do. I feel so guilty that I wasn't there and I feel helpless toward helping him.
I don't know how to be there for him. I don't know how to make him feel like it wasn't his fault. I only know how to show him love and support and I just dont feel like it is enough. | Bf was out of town staying with acquaintance of the friend he went with and was drugged and sexually assaulted buy the acquaintance. I could really use some advice on how to be there for him. |
t3_2i656b | tifu | TIFU by trying to remove a foreign object from my ass cheek | I was sitting on the toilet at work in the afternoon doing my business. I believe it was pre-wipe when i felt a slight bump on my inner left ass cheek. I'd never noticed it before so using the toilet paper I tried to pull at it. It did not come away but it felt like it might have been a matt of hair. I tried again to no avail. I threw caution to the wind, ditched the TP and got my fingers in there for a better grip. I got good purchase and tugged away. I felt something separate from the cheek and I bought it up to inspect my prize. It was light brown in colour but distinctly not poop, a little like ripped skin. I should have inspected it further but i ditched it and went to continue cleaning myself up.
Upon the continuation of cubicle routine sanitization I checked the TP (how else do you know when you are done?!) to discover a significant amount of blood. This blood continued steadily for 15 minutes and unsteadily for longer. I sat in the bathroom with a TP compress begging my ass cheek not to die on me. I got a call from my boss asking where I was but I just ignored it. I eventually made myself what I can only describe as an ass sanitary pad, exited the bathroom, made some excuse about not feeling well to my co-workers, and left home. It was an awkward shuffle to the train station and an awkward ride home, but I got there with no blood leakage. Upon arriving home I was pleased to see that the flow has subsided.
The biggest downside is I still don't know what the hell it was. I take pretty darn good care of myself and try to be clean down there for the GF, so im guessing it was an ingrown hair, a tic, or most likely a mole I was unaware of (I have a lot of moles on by body). | I accidentally pulled what was likely a mole off my ass while at work which did not stop bleeding. Had to awkwardly get home. |
t3_gmq6n | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, WTF is wrong with my lawn mower? | It's a Briggs & Stratton 6.5hp. I got this mower brand new in 2003 and it has been a super reliable, one pull starter its whole life. I have carefully maintained oil level and changed it out every season. Every winter it stows in my garage under a tarp with a dry gas tank.
Well, spring has sprung. So I take her out, put fresh gas in her and hit the primer bulb the magic 3 times. One pull and she starts, runs fast, but then after about 3-4 seconds sputters and dies. Huh. I try again. Same thing. More primer bulb presses seem to yield a few more seconds, but the inevitable run-sputter-die pattern holds.
So I can't get this thing to run more than 5-10 seconds.
Hmmm. Here's what I have tried:
* Changed the air filter
* Changed the spark plug
* Pulled the fuel line off the carburetor end and drained the tank into a gas can (confirming the fuel line isn't obstructed)
* Pulled the carburetor, disassembled it, it looked pretty clean but cleaned it anyway. Using a drinking straw I am able to blow air through the jet.
Other observations:
* I don't smell gas, or see leaking gas
* There is no odd smoke or anything like that during or after the 3-4 seconds of run time
* The 3-4 seconds of run are very strong; no misses. It just runs well for 3 seconds, then quits.
After putting everything back nothing is different. Mower starts on one pull, runs a few seconds, sputters and then dies.
I'm just a caveman, but it really acts like it is only burning the gas that is pulled into the carburetor when I prime it, and then it can't draw more gas. But this doesn't make sense because there is no obstruction in the fuel line or the carburetor. So it's got to be something else right?
Small-engine repair Redditors, I need your help. What else should I try? | Normally reliable mower starts immediately, runs 3-4 seconds, then dies. I have tried the basics. Help. |
t3_4v0dx3 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my childhood Friend [30 M] and his needy girlfriend [29 F] | This should be more of me and the rest of my group of friends because we all think the same.
So basically our friend that we know since we were kids, has a girlfriend with a shitty personality, she is very negative and insecure, when she is with us, she treats us like we were old friends, saying and doing things that only old friends should do.
They have been together for like 3 years, he has broken up with her countless times. We think that he doesn't really like her, but instead of looking for someone else he settled... (doesn't help that she is very controlling and tries to be with him 24/7)
Now the major problem for us. whenever we try to do something together, guys thing, watching football, playing games, she comes too, even tho she just stands there and annoys the hell out of us. We don't know what to do anymore, we thought about talking with him, but are afraid he will get upset with us. Should we talk with him about it? | Childhood friend has a very needy girlfriend, she is always with him We want to be with him sometimes without her but she is always with him... |
t3_rudfx | AskReddit | 24 Year old recent college graduate in Accounting, feeling down, can't find a job, advice? | So I recently graduated from college this past fall and I haven't found employment yet. Just turned 24 and kind of having a "midlife" crisis. I basically feel worthless for being 24 with no job.
Can someone speak from experience how it went with them? Any fellow Accounting grads out there in the same situation?
It's worth noting that I barely scraped by in college, finished with a 2.54 gpa (3.0+ gpa my last 3 semesters), which is not helping matters. Ways to get experience even with the low gpa? I've applied for several unpaid/volunteer internships with no success.
I'm even starting to look for part time work not related to my field to make myself feel more useful, but a lot of places say I'm overqualified or want someone who is going to be there longer. | I feel like a worthless piece of shit not having a job after graduating college, please give me advice on how to handle the crushing demoralization of the real world? |
t3_1bbe2w | AskReddit | Ask Reddit: How do you deal with disrespectful roommates? | I'll preface with an apology for the wall of text that's about to insue.
I currently live with my ex boyfriend's (still best friends, but moved for school) good friend and fiancée. I have had issues in the past with them leaving dishes with food in the sink for at time up to 3 weeks at a time. It's gross, we never have clean dishes, etc. I've also had problems with them not taking care of their dog in respect to fleas. I've paid ~$300 in vet bills due to flea related problems on my 3 pets, but that's a separate issue.
Anyway, fast forward to about 4 days ago. I've been under a lot of stress, money issues, family issues, and the cherry in top, pulling 16 hour work days/ all nighters at school. I have always viewed my dwelling as my sanctuary away for school, I expect anyone that lives with me to agree to terms we set at the beginning of our lease. It's logical. I come and snap at the dishes that have been sitting there, the kitchen floor is filled with recycling (because they can't just take it 20 ft to the dumpster/ recycle bins outside the door) and various kitchen cloths and spices everywhere.
I throw everything into the side of the sink, leaving a mountain of shit roughly 3 feet tall. I'm not usually the angry type, but since approaching them diplomatically did nothing over the past 8 months, I was over it. Passive aggression was the only way I was able to cope with it. I think nothing of it as I have to return to school for another all nighter (I'm in architecture, we build models, etc.) I come home for an hour nap before I start the next school day/ presentation day and the kitchen is spotless. However, they haven't spoke with me since before the incident. I still have 4 months before the lease is up; I can't afford to move out due to money issues and everything (lease, utilities) is in my name. How do I mediate the situation? I just feel like they have no respect for community aspect of the house because they're stuck in honeymoon/engaged phase where only they can be right because they're the majority of the 3 person household. | roommates shitty as fuck, explode passive aggressively due to stress, no communication, still have 4 months on lease, what do? |
t3_j72de | AskReddit | How to find "your" profession? Advice needed. | Hi, I am 23(m) now and I am god damn confused about what path to take in my life.
I haven't finished univercity, but instead I was building my career.
As a hobby and then as my job for many years I was making computer games. Eventually I grown up from it and I felt like it stops me and I have started to look for other ways of self-realization.
I managed to get into film making studio and worked on 2 feature films as 3d animator and mocap artist, doing some other 3d graphics tasks periodically. Though I have decided that I want to do something more phisical, something which requires you to not to sit behind desk for the rest of your life.
I liked movie industry so I did a few shorts as camera operator (while being pretty good at photography, but not wanna do it for living). I fairly enjoy it but unfortunately I have hands tremor while doing curtain movements and it actually blocks my way further in the craft. Makes me sad :(
Now I am totally stuck and have no idea what I am going to do now. I find it really easy for me to learn any new craft, also because I am perfectionist and prefer studying theory before rushing into the depth.
I am not social kind of person, not shy, but I don't like to talk and especially so called smalltalks. Because of that I would never do curtain jobs like the ones require you to do alot of phone calls to strangers.
I am thinking about some kind of phisical job, preferable with some aspect of creativity in it, which also is good enough to make decent money for living, though I care much more about liking what I do since I am also kind of perfectionist. Dont have the patience to sit counting numbers and stuff, want something fluent, changing, maybe something outdoors in nature since I really love forests and such.
Can anybody give an advice on what should I do in this situation? What job to try maybe? Thanks for reading, any advice is very appreciated. | I worked as computer games designer, 3d artist for movies, motion capture techie, but want to switch to something completely different, some sort of phisical job with some creativity aspect. |
t3_1d3m6u | AskReddit | How to entertain myself while at work? | Back story:
I work for a call center that is working for a contract with a bank. so basically i'm a third party bank employee who takes the banks calls.
(cant release where or who.. obviously) I sit in a row of cubicles unable to have any form of electronics, pens paper or any sort of way to write anything down that you can think of (other than blood on toilet paper lol but its not some sort of prison i just think its stupid considering if there is a will there is a way), I've been bored out of my mind when we are slow with call volume. we can do anything that isnt distracting to others or loud really. people used to bring puzzles but recently that got vetoed.
my question:
I would like some suggestions of some things i could bring to work to enjoy my time instead of dreading the little blue walls around me.
Ive been looking to buy a good Yo-yo and ive sewn all the holes in all the clothes i own back together (22 year old male here by the way aha!) my friend gave me some parachord and ive been tying some knots but that got old quick of course.
So reddit what might you suggest i try | Cant have electronics cant have anything i can steal member information on, how do I entertain myself at work, any suggestions? |
t3_2hln7e | relationships | I (18M) just made out with my only close friend (18F) at college and am afraid it will ruin things. | I just started freshman year of college at a large university about a month ago. I don't drink for various reasons, so it was very difficult to find friends the first weeks and very sad/lonely. About a week and a half in, I met "Brynne" through a friend of a friend of someone on my floor. She's very intelligent, much more cultured than me, and moderately attractive. We've been hanging out a lot since then. No one else here has gotten along with me that well.
Now today, my family came to visit, and I invite Brynne to come with us to go on a hike/dinner picnic. It was pretty fun, everyone got along, whatever. But then, we got back to my room and decided to watch a movie; one thing lead to another, and three hours later we were still feverishly making out.
It wasn't bad. Naturally, it felt good and seemed like a decent idea at the time. But while it was going on, she would randomly say my name or talk about how I'm her best friend or call me by some pet-name like "honey" or "sweetie" which seemed a little odd. Now I'm filled with regret because I think she may be really attached to this romantic idea, while I'm not sure if going beyond platonic is a good idea. Also might help to note that she said she had been waiting for me to kiss her, and she "knew it was going to happen tonight." Brynne would be sleeping next to me right now even, if my roommate hadn't come home about an hour ago.
I'm afraid this is going to ruin our friendship, the only good friendship either of us have on campus. Is she crazy? Am I crazy? What the hell just happened? | I (18M) made out with my closest friend (18F) at college, and it seemed like she took it way more seriously than I did. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. |
t3_t7tpj | dating_advice | [16M] Took too long with [15F] | So the situation all began about 6 to 7 months ago when I first met this girl. Our relationship was extremely awkward at first, being that she was new to the school and I hadn't known her at all-having driven to school due to fall soccer (she rode the bus quite obviously.) After I met this beautiful girl, and was quite frankly blown off may I add, I had asked one of my friends for her number, which for some reason he had. That, I'm fairly sure was my first fatal error, as I then came off as a creeper. However, we eventually got closer towards the end of December.
So, we got closer and talked alot and I eventually went over to her house. We cuddled on the couch while watching a movie, and the cuddling inclined to being very intimate(still though, nothing OVERLY sexual in nature.) We were extremely close then from January to March, however now the relationship is slowly, slowly dieing off along with her lack of interest.
I am trying to figure out how to keep the relationship going and also interesting, along with regaining her interest. Sadly, this is the the third time this has happened with three different girls. I am a quiet, intellectual, not-overly-athlectic guy and she is a popular, flirty, semi-athletic girl. | I took too long and didn't move on her signs, now she isn't interested. What to do to regain her interest? |
t3_1rip03 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex [20 F] 3 years, Heard yesterday that she is seriously sick and likely going to die. | I broke up with my partner of three years back in May this year, I had just gotten over the guilt and those little things that you inevitably miss and have since fallen for someone new whom with things have been going brilliantly with.
It was a messy break up and lots of harsh things were said, she found it very hard to get over me and used to cause me so much pain by consistently emailing, texting and phoning which in the end forced me to be very harsh and pretend to be awful to her just so she'd stop idolising me and move on and be happy.
However yesterday I had a call from my mother saying that she'd heard my ex is very sick. I had a second call today telling me that her results are in and her chances of survival are very slim with serious life long complications even if she does survive.
(I've confirmed that this is true)
I feel awful. Although I don't want to be with her I still care about her and always just wanted the next guy to come along for her and make her happier than I was able to. I can't stop thinking about how she must be so scared and alone. It's such an odd feeling because I'm not supposed to be feeling all this, I ended it after all, but we spent so much of our life together it feels like a friend dying.
I'm just wondering if anyone else has been through something like this... and if anyone has any advice on how to get my head around it and minimise the impact on my current relationship. Why do I feel so sad? Am I broken?
Thank you for reading this far. | My ex is dying and its making me immensely sad because its fucking unfair of life to rob her of her future. What to do? |
t3_1l9rsw | jobs | I have two positions lined up and I cannot decide which is going to be better. What's the most respectful way to handle this? | I'm 20 and in school. I have two positions and I believe I will only be able to keep one. They both begin training next week.
Position 1 pays me less than minimum wage with the outrageous union dues (Unions already go against my morals, but I need a job). I would also have about 25 hours a week.
Position 2 pays $11 per hour and I'd be working on my own. It does require travel, but it is within a 20 mile radius. Hours could range from 5-30 a week and I won't know until I start next week (i.e. after both companies will have paid for me to go through training).
Obviously I want to pick the one with the best balance between structure and pay without being disrespectful to the other. | I have two jobs that I feel like can't choose between until both companies train me. I feel like giving an employer my 2 weeks after training is sleazy and I don't know how to go about it. |
t3_446w90 | tifu | TIFU by creating a soda geyser. | Obligatory 'so this didn't happen today.'
Cut to the earlier 2000s: There are videos circulating over all my social media accounts of people creating soda slushies by freezing bottles and even cans for just long enough to start ice crystals forming. I tried it once with a can of pepsi and it actually worked. Hell yeah? Immediately I decide I want all my soda this way forever now, and a few days later I pop a can of cheap knock-off brand grape in the freezer.
*( It should be noted here that I warned my grandparents and my mum that I was trying it beforehand, and they had told me in no uncertain terms that if I got caught shoving soda cans in the freezer and making a mess I would have the life flogged out of me. )*
It looks fine when I pull the can out. I go to OPEN it, though, and find out that the cheap syrup has separated from the icy portions, along with all the carbonation. A purple torrent of syrup and foam shoots four feet straight up, splattering on me, the table, the window, and the ceiling.
After changing clothes, I proceed to spend the next twenty minutes running around like a headless chicken with an entire roll of paper towels, mopping up everything I could reach. It works out great until we go to do laundry and my mother decides to separate my clothes for me. You know. To be nice. She wasn't quite so nice after I admitted what happened. Even worse, I lost one of my favorite shirts because by the time it was discovered the syrup had set in a big ugly stain. I was also banned from my delicious soda slushies.
What spurred this story after so many years? I just went digging around on the shelf above the table today and found a nasty, hardened splatter of what used to be grape soda syrup. | Dropkicked a bottle of pepsi into an old lady's car window and ended up in a slapfight with a Danny Devito impersonator. |
t3_xcsr9 | relationships | Update #2: I Have A Secret And Its Becoming Hard To Hide | **Original topic:** | Its an update to an update! Family and I are no longer speaking, everything else is still wonderful and I know they will come around. This is my last update so thank you again reddit for all the support <3. |
t3_4mq8bb | relationships | My [28 m] parents just lashed out on me about my [28 F] girlfriend, now I'm the most I've ever been in my life | Apologies ahead of time, I'm not the best writer. I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year now. She's a wonderful person and makes me happy.
My parents, who are traditional Asian parents (for Asians, you'll know what I mean). They just told me they don't like her, even to go as far as to hate her because she's a different type of Asian as me. They think I'm too good for her as far as looks, overall family wealth, personality, etc. My mother even went as far as to make fun of my girlfriend's face. They said our kids would grow up to be short and ugly, which really hurt me. They are encouraging me (I'd go to say even telling me) to break up with her and find someone else. I'm really at a lost for words and could use any help or just support.
Aside from looks, my mom gets really anal about how my gf doesn't clean up around the house or does things "women should do". My gf is going to school while working and is dead tired by the time she gets back. I offered to help with the cleaning and the laundry until she's done with all that, then we'd split it evenly. However, she does cook meals for me, and helps out with odds and ends things whenever I ask.
My gf is more on the quiet side, so she doesn't really talk much to my parents or family aside from the hello.
A little side note about myself, I'm a very reserved person and I tend to bottle things up. Whatever demons I had to deal with in the past, I dealt with on my own, but this just seems too overwhelming. | my parents think I'm too good for my girlfriend and even hates her. I don't know what to do now. |
t3_3x9oty | tifu | TIFU By Accidentally Branding Myself | So unlike most fuck ups this didn't happen today but happened 2 days ago.
I am currently in 9th grade in an elective class where you can build and make anything that you want with the supplies and tools that they have and our teacher is really laid back when it comes to monitoring projects and making rules. One of our final projects was to make a belt buckle out of tin using a plastic mold we cut out using a [CNC router] Something I should point out now is That our teacher doesn't watch what were doing, he will show us once how to do something then leave us to fend for ourselves. So me and another senior student are dicking around with liquid tin and making mold castings without the teacher. I ended up successfully making around 5 or 6 castings and left them on the side of the table to cool. The castings were still really hot and could easily burn you if you aren't careful.Some of the unsuccessful castings have bubbles underneath them so there is a hole in the middle of the belt buckle, if you melt the bottom of the casting then you can fill the hole back up but you have to be pretty precise. In my attempt to fill the hole back up I leaned on the table and my forearm landed on one of the hot castings burning my skin which resulted in me yelling "SHIT!" across the classroom. It didn't look bad at first, it looked like it only burned a couple layers of skin off and was a little red. Everyone was looking to see what happened and the teacher looked at my arm and said that its just a second degree burn and that it will go away in a couple of days...he was wrong, in fact it got worse it looks like I have a brown Nike symbol on my arm that slowly leaking puss and its probably not going away for a while. But on positive side, at the end of the class our teacher had a box hard drives that were donated from a company and he didn't need them so he gave me and my friend a 1 terabyte HDD and a 320gb ssd. Turns out that the one terabyte Hard Drive was busted and got the clicking of death. | Accidentally leaned on a hot tin casting ended up branding myself with what looks like a Nike symbol. Got 1320GB worth of storage from my teacher for free. Free hard drives never work, that's why there free |
t3_459a0s | loseit | Help! No one in my house is helping me! | So to put this in context: I live with my boyfriend and his whole family - his mother, father and his sister (who is approx. my age). They are all very unhealthy, and have distorted views about what constitutes 'healthy' food.
They all know I want to lose weight, they all know I'm trying to get out to the gym when I can, but no-one seems to be overly bothered by it. My boyfriend is supportive but there is a limit to what he can do. His parents, however, is where the problem lies.
I have offered to do the shopping for them, but they keep refusing because they don't like the food I buy when I do the shopping, and if I suggest making myself something separate, they get offended.
I can't really say much because it's their house, they're not my parents, and the whole living situation means that I have to please them. I pay board each month, but it doesn't mean they won't kick me out if I start being a pain in their butts, and I have nowhere else to go.
So basically I'm stuck here. All there is in the house is crap - biscuits, sweets, bread, pasta. Their 'healthy' dinners are approximately my whole daily allowance in calories, and they don't buy any vegetables really. They also buy 1-2 takeaways a week. I want to lose this weight - I have about 74lbs left to lose before my goal weight - but I can't do it when everything in the house is cakes and sweets and carby and junk food. I can't do a damn thing about it.
Help?!?! | Live with boyfriend and his family, they eat shit food, only buy shit food, no money to buy own food, want to lose 74lbs. Stuck. Need help. |
t3_lyeqd | AskReddit | How can I change myself in this situation to make things easier? | My step-father can not leave me be. My step-brother is an emotionally damaged, workout crazed tool who spends all day working out and playing xbox. I have to be a spitting image of him. I do drama and chorus. I come home to 30 minutes of rest, hours of homework with a few breaks. Today I tried to take a break and he starts making little problems from the most meaningless shit, pants on the floor, a bowl in the sink. Now he doesn't go about it like a normal person though, he treats everyone like dirt, he is the most pompous, self-centered, narcissistic mo-fo I know. So he comes in and sees me watching some T.V. He shuts it off and says to do my homework, which I have been doing since about 6:00, its 8:15. I wanted to watch some tv to relax and free some stress, well he made more, then proceded to blame me for stressing myself out while he goes out of his way to be the biggest douche bag anyone will ever meet. I know it is impossible to change other people, so what can I do to ease my troubles. | My stepdad is a fucking douce, what can I change about my self to deal with this stress making pariah. |
t3_1l1hxb | dating_advice | Why do guys only want to fuck me? | I'm a virgin. So I'm not a slut, nor do I have a reputation for being one. I can't say I'm going for only douschebags because I've talked to many different type of men. However, every single time a guy starts talking to me, they always end up just wanting to fuck me and that's it. Nobody ever wants to take it further with me. & I wanted to ask all the guys out there what are some reasons you will want to use a girl for sex only? Also, every time I text a guy, they always try to turn the conversation sexual. Is that normal, or do guys only do this when they just want to use you for sex? | What qualities of a girl do you guys look for when you're looking to only use her for sex? Why do guys only want sex from me rather than a relationship? |
t3_15hm3x | Dogtraining | Using the crate as a "time out"? | I posted earlier in the week, and my puppy's behavior has improved, but there is one thing that I've had a hard time researching.
My puppy is usually pretty easygoing, but sometimes (maybe about twice a day), she'll just snap and freak out, jumping up at us, barking, and biting. I haven't been able to figure out if there is a trigger for this, it seems like it comes out of nowhere usually. Originally we just turned our backs to her, but the act of jumping up and making contact with us was too rewarding. Now, we step over a baby gate but remain in sight, with our backs to her, and we only return when she's calmed down or directed her attention elsewhere.
Leaving the room will work for her smaller moments, but sometimes she just won't calm down and will target the next person in the room. Once they leave, she'll go after the next person, and it doesn't seem to end.
For the past two days, I've been doing short "time outs" in her crate when she gets uncontrollable like this. Usually 30 seconds to a minute, and I make sure to wait until she isn't whining. She's usually calmer after these timeouts, BUT I sometimes see online that the crate should never be used for punishment, and that dogs should only associate it with good things. Other websites have said that's only the case for a puppy that is still going through crate training. At this point, she enjoys her crate and willingly goes in it for naps and for bedtime at night. Is it an issue if we keep using these short timeouts? If so, how else should we deal with this manic periods? | Puppy occasionally goes nuts, and seems to calm down after short (30 seconds-2 minutes) time outs in the crate. Found conflicting sources, should the crate never be used as punishment or is is it okay in moderation? |
t3_16hatm | Advice | Not sure what to do. | So I've been in a pretty good relationship for the past year and a half. Things aren't bad per say but I'm starting to feel like there are too many ultimatums for us to stay in a long term relationship. We're lesbians. She adamantly wants kids and I don't at all. I don't want to tell my family that I'm gay because A) that will be the end of my relationship with them and B) its not their business, but its a condition of hers that I do tell them before going any farther in our relationship. When I bring up these things it usually ends in "we'll talk about it later when we're more ready" but I don't think my mind is going to change and neither is hers. Should I just keep waiting out these conversations?
This is hard because I love her and we have a great relationship aside from these issues, but I'm starting to think these differences are big enough to merit breaking up?
I would really appriciate some other thoughts on whatever perspective. I'm not sure what to do. | In a great relationship but think that our differing opinions on wanting kids and involving our respective family's in our life together may be merit for breaking up. Thoughts? Opinions? |
t3_456lpk | relationships | Me [19 M] with some "friend"__ [22F] 2 years, could use some advice or thoughts here | This happened over the course of 2 years and is a bit confusing but im going to try and get to the point.Please dont be too judgmental, its been very hard for me
So I met a friend and we were doing pretty well for a good amount of time.We learned alot about each other. I kinda struggled with some social issues and friends left for reasons ill explain later. Eventually I hit depression and kinda became upset or what depression would look like. I didnt offend her but it was confusing for her as to why Im acting upset. She literally changed my life with things and helped so much.I got help and have been doing alot better but still struggle.
I have noticed a pattern of her showing some interest in me and alot of women say so, I have gone with the typical thing of getting her to food or something else, it has been working and im learning as I go, but that could be elaborated on. Dont know if I am going in the right direction.
so with the friends, basically they used drugs or some sort family issue caused them to not talk to me for like 1.5 to 2 years. So having the other girl come in well....thats like everything to me. Really nice. With the other friends its a bit better now and its easier on my stress level.
I am at a point now where I feel better but not great and I want to feel comfortable with her and others and not come off as nervous or tense. She always cheers me up and I just dont know why I feel so self conscious around others, including her. I woudl maybe like to talk it out with her so she gets what im going through. Would it be good to do this? Im just so confused with all that has happened and I want to do something about it but would like advice on how. | Had a really stressful time in my life and want to improve even more and mend a relationship or get one, dont know how |
t3_2qyy26 | cats | help with a stray... | Hey,
for the past few nights, a stray kitten has been hanging out my girlfriend and I's condo. we have fed her her for the past few nights. the first night she would cry out to us, but not get too close. the second night she would get close to us and role around but would bolt if we approached. wanting to help this kitten, we rented a have-a-hart trap and caught the kitten and took her straight into our bathroom. getting her out of the trap was a bit traumatic. she got out and began to climb onto every ledge she could (I'm prepared to have to replace my shower curtain), and she is in their now, but judging by the quiet she seems to be appreciating the privacy. we plan on taking her to the vet/spca tomorrow to get looked at and make sure she is healthy and what not. what I'm looking for is basically some tips to make her night in out bathroom a little more comfortable for her and us. thank you.
Important notes:
* we have two cats already, but neither have come into contact with the stray
* the stray appears to be a calico so we are assuming she is a she
* we made a point to get the stray inside because it is so cold outside | we caught a stray kitten, we are taking her to the vet in the morning, but would like some tips to make her night with us more comfortable for her and us. |
t3_y9r13 | relationship_advice | [22/F] Summer fling++ (21/M): end things now or continue into the fall? | Between mid-May and early August, friend became good friend, became friends with benefits, became best friends with benefits. When we first started hooking up we were very clear that it was purely a physical, summer-only thing. By the end of the summer he was staying over every night, we were calling each other baby, talking about confused feelings for each other.
We're VERY open with each other and can talk about basically anything without it being awkward. Also, the sex is MINDBLOWING.
Now we're apart for a few weeks and have been texting a lot about how we can't wait to fuck again. However, I don't know if I should just cut it off as a great summer thing or let it continue and most likely fizzle out.
Before you say I should let things continue in case they develop into something more: we're not interested in dating each other. That hasn't changed. I'd be very wary of dating this guy. We are great friends and have made love (as opposed to just banged) but don't have romantic feelings for each other. He's also not over his ex from his breakup a couple weeks before we hooked up. I don't think a serious relationship is in the cards here.
I want to keep hooking up because I really enjoy our current dynamic. I don't have the time or emotional capital for a serious relationship, but casual sex lacks the intimacy that makes our sex amazing. However, part of me wants to end things because I don't think this dynamic is sustainable back at school. While we were exclusive over the summer, that was mainly because no one else came along... Once we're back on campus with other girls (including his ex), who knows what will happen?
I've voiced my concerns to him, and he said we could try to keep hooking up, but talk about it if we don't like how things go. Basically play it by ear. Should I do that, or should I just end things now on a good note? | Great summer fling with amazing sex - cut things off while they're going well, or let it keep going till it will almost inevitably fizzle out? |
t3_365516 | relationships | Am I (F21) being overly crazy here about my boyfriends (M22) comment? | So my boyfriend and I have been arguing a little recently. Nothing too crazy...but it's upsetting.
So tonight, after arguing and then coming to a conclusion and telling each other we are going to respect each others needs and wants in order to move on in the relationship (meaning we accept the reasons why the other gets upset and we agree to work on them.) he sees a girl, grabs me and starts kissing me. I just thought it was cute. Until he says, in these exact words, "you know, every time I see a girl that I would potentially find attractive if I were single again, I grab you and want to hold you to make sure they know I'm yours." So I ask him "Is that what you just did?" And he says, again in these exact words, "Well yeah if I were single I would think she's attractive, but I'm not so I don't but yes that's why I did that."
Now. This got to me. I immediately shut down. Now all I can think is that he does that in public because he sees another woman he finds attractive. Because to me, it doesn't matter if you're single or not, if you're attracted to someone, you're attracted to them. I'm obviously attracted to other guys but I would never tell him "Oh I just saw a guy I would 'potentially' find attractive so I kissed you in front of him" like wtf?
Am I being overly crazy here or is this justified? I need honest answers because this, added to the arguing, is really throwing me over the edge and I'm not sure how much I can take. I don't know how to let this go. | boyfriend told me that he does PDA with me if he sees a girl he "would have" found attractive if he was single. |
t3_40mc7u | relationships | Me [16 M/F] with my crush [16 M/F]. Confused and tired. | Okay so, second time posting here. I met this girl at school who I absolutely adore for all that she is. We got really close until new years. Then she would occasionally ignore my text messages/ not reply to them, but at school she would act normally (as normal as she could be considering her personality... )
Thing is, i'm tired of constantly thinking about her; whether she would like me back the same way, does she hate me from the inside? I do this so much that it distracts me and leads me to waste many hours of the day. The only way I know to get over it is to go out and tell her how I feel, as soon as possible. This would clear any misconceptions in my mind and undoubtedly free my mind.
Should I risk it though? She might be the one, 'my lobster' as Phoebe would say. We have a lot in common and many things not. Should I wait for the perfect or is that just a myth?
Thank you Reddit! | I'm confused, should I stay in constant mind boggling agony or should I free myself and potentially regret that decision for the rest of my life? |
t3_oi7ha | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, how do you deal with that one person that eats away at you? | Whether it be the "one that got away," problem family member or what have you, how do you deal with the day-to-day stress of them on your conscience? Here's what I mean:
It's been about 5 years now. Back in 2007 I confronted my best friend on the feelings I had for him. We had known each other since middle school and over the years we grew close. I started to look to him as a means of reinforcing my own identity and, somewhere along the line, it crossed into an actual attraction. He is, to this day, the only person who has even given me the true sensation of "butterflies" when I spoke to or saw him. Needless to say, my feelings weren't reciprocated. While initially we didn't intend to cut things off as friends, he quickly grew distant and soon we had no contact whatsoever. The first few years were really tough, and I found myself constantly trying to get back into his life or be in the periphery. Now, I can manage going for a day or two without thinking about him too much, and it doesn't interfere with my life regularly. I got the urge to write this, however, because I had a dream last night where I spent quite a bit of time trying to rekindle our friendship, often to be strung along be him. I've had several dreams over the course of these years about him that have totally ruined my progress in letting him go. If it's not apparent already, we're both dudes. I wouldn't identify as gay necessarily, but that's a whole other thread. | Had feelings for best friend, not reciprocated and no closure. No longer friends, 5 years later I still get caught up in my feelings. |
t3_38ygyk | relationships | I (24f) am afraid of ending up alone after a breakup with the man I thought I would marry. | My ex broke up with me a week before my graduate school graduation and three months before we were supposed to move in together. Its really for the best as he had been uncaring and unkind to me throughout our relationship. Hindsight is really 20/20.
I'm doing really well with moving on with my life. I've accepted my first post grad job at an amazing school district, worked out more, started to read again, and even scored a pretty sweet apartment. I'm proud of how well it's been going.
Over time I've noticed that as I become less upset with him, I become more worried about my future. While the relationship wasnt perfect, it alerted me to what I want out of a relationship like marriage, a family, and someone who will be as happy melding with my family as I will be with his. All I can think of lately is that I missed my chance to meet the right person since leaving school. I'm an elementary school teacher so meeting a guy that's around my age and single at work is slim. I've joined meetup groups for when I finally move but am scared that it's too late. I know MANY people in my family and out of it that have become single at 24 and then never met someone to share their life with. The thought keeps me up at night and I'm prepping myself for a lifetime of loneliness. I'm also the only one of my girl friends to not be in a relationship that is headed for marriage.
Do I have hope or is the reality bleak? | I'm afraid I lost my chance at meeting someone new after a breakup due to family and family friends going through similar situations. |
t3_2iterp | relationships | Me [25 M] with my father [62 M] wants me to quit my job to go to a wedding. | Not sure this is the right sub for my problem but here goes. I live with my father due to me falling on some hard times. however I'm starting to get my life back together, I have a steady full time job that's letting me pay off my debts and put some savings away. Well I put in for time off to go to my cousins wedding which is far enough away that I would need to take the next two days off. My request was not so much denied as the other employees were unavailable to work the kind of hours that would allow me to actually attend the wedding.
When I brought this up to my dad he goes on a tirade about how they have no right to deny my time off and I should just no call no show and it would be fine because "You can just get a new job when we get back." Even after I suggested I'd visit my cousin when I have the time he still insists that I quit my job without notice. This is out of character for my dad since he's a very responsibility oriented severe personality.
It's getting to the point where He's getting angry enough to threaten kicking me out. Am I somehow being unreasonable for not quitting my job? what are some ways I could approach the situation that may help keep him calm.
If I've been unclear at all I'll happily be more specific in replies. | Couldn't get time off to go to my cousins wedding dad suggests I quit my job without notice to go, won't listen to reasonable alternative. |
t3_34fbss | tifu | TIFU by (apparently) using a Dyson Airblade tap in a restaurant the wrong way | So I was in a fancy restaurant today and in the bathroom they had one of these completely unnecessary [Dyson Airblade taps] Dyson airblade taps where the hand dryer is integrated into the tap.
This is actually supposed to **PREVENT** water splatter across the floor from people walking with their dripping hands to an external hand dryer (First World problems)
Anyway, I haven't seen this kind of hand dryer/tap before, so I had no idea how to use it. So I put a bunch of this foamy luxury soap kind of shit on my hands and washed them, since I am a civilized person who washes his pooey hands after taking a shit.
Then I put my hands beneath these two bars and was shocked by that MASSIVE BLAST of air coming out of these slits. I reflexively snapped my hands back from the sink, leading to the airblast spreading the foamy residue water left in the sink ALL OVER THE GODDAMN MIRROR, the floor, the sink frame, my face and pretty much everything else.
If there had been blood instead of water, it would have looked as if someone had been shot in the head with a shotgun in there.
My hands where still drippingly wet of course, so I put them under that phallic fancy brushed aluminum piece of shit again, but even though I used it right this time (according to the video as I figured later) it still unavoidibly formed an air vortex beneath my hands and the sink, still spreading foam all over the sink frame. Not that much this time, but far enough that the desired effect of preventing splatter is gone.
Needless to say, after returning to my table I paid my bill immediately and fled.
In hindsight, I think that this is a common occurence with these taps, since the goddamn air blast is so freakin strong that it's not possible to avoid the vortex. | Maloperated a tap-integrated hand dryer that is designed to prevent water splatter in a way that it caused foamy water to splatter all over the goddamn bathroom |
t3_4ye2kc | relationships | 26m Feeling deeply uncomfortable upholding the "bro-code" lately. Helping my friend lie to his girlfriend. | Started around a week ago, my friend T(25m) lied to his gf(23f), when she asked our other friend J(26m), if T was lying, J covered for T. But since I was witness to all of this, I was told not to breathe a word to Z(T's gf). they threatened me afterwards.
They know that if Z somehow finds out, it will have been me who told her, since I was the only other person to witness this.
So I am kinda feeling up against a wall here. I like Z, I don't think she should be lied to, she deserves a man who will tell her the truth no matter what the consequences.
A few sidenotes;
T was guilty the whole time.
T was only lying to not receive scorn from Z for being a lazy fuck.
Just something that's been on my mind lately. I want to tell Z about this but I don't want my bro's to fly off the
handle so to speak. | friend lies to girlfriend, gets other friends to cover for him, accomplice(me) want to be truthful but don't want anyone to hate me. |
t3_270204 | relationships | I've [25 F] spent the past 7 years in two different serious relationships - single for a month & no idea what I want. | So ever since college I've pretty much constantly been in a relationship. Four years with a great guy I met in college who I eventually broke up with because of ex number 2, who I dated for three years, and then broke it off with recently because he was emotional abusing me.
Now I'm single with a pretty happy life after some therapy. I've got a great dog to keep me company, a little apartment in the city that's all my own, and a well-paying full time job in a field I love. The thing is, I have no idea what I want out of a relationship, or even if I want a relationship.
Should I try online dating? I'm not sure if its right for me. It seems really awkward and strange going on a date with someone I don't really know at all. I would much rather hang out with someone as a friend for awhile before asking them out so I feel like I know them a bit already. Is it fair for me to make an online dating profile if I'm not sure I'm even ready to date again? I just get lonely sometimes and my friends aren't always around, plus I get pretty busy myself. Or should I just live my life and wait for the right guy to come along? So far, despite my best efforts to make new friends, I haven't met anyone I've clicked with.
Any suggestions? | Been in serious long term relationships for most of my adult life--now I'm single and I have no idea if I'm ready to date again, or how I'm supposed to meet people I could see myself dating. |
t3_3ltbia | relationships | Me [22 M] broke about a month ago with a beautiful girl[18 /F] | Sorry for the throwaway there, but I felt like I had to do it. I'm a 22 male years old that has almost no experience with girls in general, if not for some brief affairs that do not involve sex nor true attachment...
Anyway, my first 'serious' relationship began in january, the 6th of that month. Seven months later my Girlfriend broke with me.
Honestly, there is still a lot going on through my mind even if I don't want to face it.
She felt (and I regret she was right) that I didn't love her enough. I made such obvious mistakes you would not even realize, and to this day the moving pain inside my stomach, the endless pain that still lives in me is Regret.
I wasn't able to show her I love her. And in august, she did the final move that ended our relationship. I try to avoid the thought, but to me it seems like I lost the opportunity of my life
But the errors I made were so obvious in hindisight, that I feel pain, and I feel comfort only by being with friends.
I don't know if life is a film or not, but something tells me I will never find someone like her and that I lost a treasure. am I the only one at 22 that made such obvious errors?
Because when I look around me, and I see my friends, they are going to marry soon, while I'm still here, alone, thinking that some day something will improve.
Thank you for listening | Felt like I lost the girl of my life. Can't get her back again. Will I regret it my whole life? |
t3_2gb2cl | relationship_advice | Me[23F] and my Boyfriend[26M] and facial hair/lack thereof problems | I really never thought facial hair could cause so many issues between us.
**Background:** Been together for about 2 years, since I've known him he's always had a short beard/goatee and mustache. Its extremely cute. He could get lazy for periods of time and not keep the rest clean shaven, but would always keep this intact. When we met, he said he started growing the facial hair in the first place because his previous workplace made him stay clean shaven, so now that he had some freedom he wanted to experiment. He has a pretty round face, but his facial hair makes him look like a big scruffy bear and I find it irresistibly sexy and handsome.
**Current problem:** He's getting ready to finish college, he'll be graduating as a software engineer. Apparently he's also gotten a lot of comments throughout the years, and especially currently, that having his facial hair makes him look like a hobo/unprofessional. Whenever I hear that I'm like, who cares what they think, do what you want, I think you look super cute and I want to sex you up all the time. I guess the pressure has been getting too much. He's been experimenting with shaving it off all the way, or just shaving off the mustache and leaving a goatee.
When he shaves it all off, the roundness of his face is intensified and he looks like a little kid. When he leaves just the goatee he looks like Abe Lincoln and its entirely a turnoff. I don't know what to do. We've gotten in so many discussions about this which usually end up with both of our feelings hurt. I'd like to think I'm not a shallow person. I don't care if he gains or loses a bit of weight - he's been wanting to lose some and I've been encouraging him to get healthy. Its hard to look at him like this. I think what makes it worse is apparently everyone else says he looks better that way. He went and got a haircut and his hairdresser said he looked nice clean shaven. His mom apparently mentioned something about it as well. | Boyfriend is taking away his facial hair and I think it looks awful, but apparently the rest of the world thinks he looks good. |
t3_4nrhwp | relationships | My[27M] significant other I[25F] are in sexual drought. | As the title states my significant other and I have been in a sexual drought for months. Since February to be exact. Since then we have had sex twice. To be fair, I changed jobs and he got a promotion so we have been pretty busy with other aspects of our lives. But, we went from having sex almost every other day to nothing. I can count on my hands the times we've fucked since February and it's twice.
I am like a fucking cat in heat. Everything I do to try and get the mood going leaves me angry and wanting to cry because he just isn't into it. He gives me a few kisses and then picks up his goddamn cellphone. I'm at my wits end. I love my significant other very much and I am struggling with how to approach this issue with out him feeling like I resent him for ignoring my advances. Because I honestly am starting to get resentful.
What can I do? | Sexual drought. I'm hornier than a cat in heat and my boyfriend is seemingly ignoring my advances. The resentment and sadness grows the longer we don't get intimate. |
t3_2vqy27 | relationships | My(19M) girlfriend(18F) of 5 months wants me stop texting her friend | My gf of 5 months asked me to stop texting her friend a few weeks ago. The texts between her friend and I were only ever about when our group of friends would meet up and what we would be doing, my gf went through my texts to confirm this.
Now the reason my gf wants me to stop texting her friend is because her friend had sex with two of my gf's ex boyfriends. However her friend had not had sex with my gf's ex's until after my gf had already broken up with them. My gf believes that I will have sex with her friend. For the record I have never cheated in a relationship and I stopped texting my gf's friend after she asked me to.
Now the upsetting part of all this is is that my gf is currently texting her ex boyfriend, I know because she told me. It bothers me that she worries about who I text yet she herself doesn't seem to be bothered with how I feel about who she texts. I'm just looking for some advice and seeing if anyone else has gone through a similar situation and how they handled it. | GF asked me to stop texting her friend because she thinks I will cheat on her. GF is currently texting her ex boyfriend and I want some advice. |
t3_3655ep | relationships | Me [23 M] met [26 F] on tinder, first date advice wanted | I met this girl on tinder (actually, she had come into my work previously and we happened to match, that was my icebreaker on tinder) and we have been talking every day.
Earlier in the week I had asked her to let me know what she was doing tomorrow (Saturday) and she will be going out tomorrow night and invited me to come along. By the way she explained it, she will be with other people, I do not know how many, could be one, could be a bunch.
I have never done this kind of thing before. All of the other girls I have dated have been girls that I already had some sort of personal relationship with. What kind of advice can you offer me as far as things to bring up to talk about, what things should I not talk about etc.
I am sure this question gets asked all the time, but I do not feel like searching this whole sub.
Thanks in advance! | Met a girl on tinder, going out to meet her and her friends tomorrow night, want advice on how to go about the night. |
t3_3uevn0 | relationships | [breakup] How to handle breakup? This was both of our first real relationship. 9 days short of 3 years going steady. [21F and 21M] | We were engaged. But we could hardly be together without fighting or being pissed off at each other. Sex was infrequent and unpleasant. But he was my best friend. We shared so many memories. And now it's gone. If it makes sense, I love him but I just can't stand him. Sometimes?
I'm sorry if this is confusing. I'm incapacitated with pain and tears. My heart hurts so bad. I had to leave thanksgiving dinner early because I was on the verge of breaking down- we just broke up this morning. How do you handle losing your best friend? Your partner?
We had issues that I think made us incompatible and I don't think it was the wrong decision in the long term BUT I DON'T KNOW. That uncertainty that we just killed something beautiful is really killing me. How do people recover from this? | first relationship and it lasted 3 years, broke up, WTF do I do. Can't stop crying. This fucking sucks. |
t3_3e4pqx | relationships | Me [21 M] with my new gf [20 F] 2 weeks, she can't be honest/direct with me | So I met this girl 2-3 months ago (can't exactly remember the date) through friends. We started talking and really hit things off. One of our friends doesn't approve of us, but we decided to just go with it anyway and keep it a secret.
I'll just keep it short and simple, but basically every time I ask her to hang out/come over/etc. She says "maybe" or "I don't know" and I have to battle with her for 15-20 minutes whether she wants to come over or not. I'm not sure if you consider it arguing, but it's not like full blown yelling, and it definitely puts me in a bad mood.
Another example is that she'll want to go somewhere and I'll ask why. Then she'll completely dismiss it and not want to go anymore saying "it's fine". So here I am again having to pry at her just to get her to tell me.
**What can I do to fix this? | I have to pry a yes/no (when we want to hang out) and explanations (when she wants to go somewhere) out of my girlfriend and it stresses me out. |
t3_21y7fo | relationships | Me [19 M] meeting up with my ex [18 F] after 1month break, how should I behave? | The break was messy, she misinterpreted it as a breakup, when really I just needed time to myself, just to re-evaluate everything. After a week of no-contact, she texts me asking for her stuff back. She's still really upset and resentful as she thinks I wanted to breakup more than to just take a break.
To make myself clear I left a note in her bag with her stuff in it, bascially outlining that I never meant for it to end the way it did, and that if she ever wanted to meet up and chat to text me. Fast forward 1 month, I get a Happy Birthday text from her also mentioning that she would like to meet up and talk "properly".
The reason I wanted to take a break was mainly because I felt like I was taken for granted, and that a break hopefully "rejuvenate" our love for each other. Through the month break we took I enjoyed the freedom of being single but also missed her alot. The last time I texted her was yesterday to pick a time and day to meet up. We're meeting up this Friday.
How do I deal with this situation? should I text her before then asking how she is with the intention to start a conversation? or should I leave it till Friday to contact her. | Wanted to take a break from gf, she misinterpreted it as a break-up, a month later she wants to talk properly, meeting her on Friday. What do. |
t3_18lfhb | dating_advice | Can I reconnect? | So this girl [25] that I [25] sort of used to have a crush on a few years ago, that lived next door to me at school just broke up with her BF of like 1-2 years. At least i'm pretty sure (based on FB info.)
Anyway the deal is we were really friendly but haven't spoken since I moved, and she started dating this guy. Well I'm also out of a relationship now and want to know how I can possibly reconnect, I feel bad I didn't maintain the friendship (old gf would not allow it) but would like to say Hi again; just not sure if that's acceptable or totally awkward or what.
Thanks, | Used to like/be friends with this girl, haven't spoken in 2+ years, she just broke up with BF and I want to be friends again.... |
t3_ox62u | AskReddit | The most awkward thing that has ever happened to you? | I'm a straight male who is currently engaged. Keep this in mind, so I'm doing an internship in Washington DC and I'm on my way back home from work. on the metro some guy talks to me about my phone. A nice android phone he had an iPhone. we talked and he asked me questions about the phone and what not for quite some time.
Eventually he said that his stop was coming up and that it was nice talking to me. I say I enjoyed teaching him about android phones. He proceeds to put his hand on my shoulder and looks into my eyes and says
Him:"how about I take you out to dinner this weekend" I didn't quite get what he meant so I said.
Me: "umm sure but why? "
Him: "I just really enjoyed my time with you and would like to get to know you better? "
That's when I caught on to the fact that I was being hit on. I politely declined his offer explaining to him that I was engaged. he then says "Whose the lucky fellow? ". I just looked up and said "umm I'm straight? " with the the same expression as a bad poker face.
He just walked away and I shook my head feeling strange that day... not once have I ever been hit on and it was by some guy... it was beyond awkward specially because he figured I was gay... needless to say everyone I told this story to still cracks up. | got hit on by a guy on my way from work. He automatically assumed I was gay and I had no idea how to explain that I wasn't in a nice way. |
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