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t3_3e2jcl | relationships | Girlfriend [18/F] went off the pill and now wants space and I [20/M] am afraid that she has lost total interest. | (We have been together for about 6 months.)
Everything began about a week ago when she went away and forgot to take her pills with her and so was unable to take her pills for several days. I called her and she seemed to be sick because quitting the pill. Now, a few days after, she sends short, cold answers to my texts. I asked her if she wanted some space and be left alone, and she responded "Yeah, that would feel good". I sent her a text asking if she still felt something for me, and that I accepted that she didn't want me to contact her.
Now, I'm afraid and depressed after reading several studies about how women broke up/lost feelings towards their partner after quitting the pill. Am I being paranoid or should I worry? I should add that I cant see her for about a month (mid-august) and if something is unclear it might be because english isn't my native language. | Gf went off the pill, acts weird and cold, wants space and me not talking to her. What to do? |
t3_1wvg51 | relationships | Me [19 M] with [18 F] has been sending mixed signals. Help | So I met this girl at the end of last semester, we knew each other for a week and had sex the last saturday of the semester. Afterward she tells me she feels guilty about it because of a guy she had back home.
Fast forward to last week, she texts me after not talking for a month and a half during the first week were back. I tell her we should hang out, she says sure but whenever I suggest something concrete she says shes chilling with her roomate even for any plans I try to make.
Im honestly lost, I mean I like this girl but im not sure the feeling is all that mutual. Id love to give it a shot but I really dont know if im wasting my time here. Sorry if this im reading too much into it, im obviously clueless. | Girl starts talking to me again after rejecting me after having sex with her at the end of last semester, says she wants to hang out now but rejects any plans I try to make. Help |
t3_fiub9 | AskReddit | I was laid off under a week ago and have an uncertain future - could fellow redditors lend me some advice? | Throwaway account.
I was laid off a little under a week ago. I have been working for the past 3 years since my graduation from university with a degree in Written Communications - a useless liberal arts degree, I know.
Over those years, I was lucky enough to have a job working for a small website making promotional and entertainment videos. Well, funding ran out and now I am in the unemployment line.
I have about 50k in college debt and a car payment, but very few expenses besides that. I live at home and pay minimal rent.
I live in the Northeastern United States, and besides moving to New York, the job market is stretched pretty thin. Because of this I am considering returning to school to get my masters in a field that may be a little more practical. I have some ideas in mind, but I am unsure if this is wise with my current debt level.
Basically, I am wondering what would be wisest - continuing the job search and hoping to find something in this horrible economy or go back to school and get a degree that may open new job opportunities with higher pay grades. | I just got laid off and my current field (video production) is very competitive/has limited work. Should I go to school for a Masters in a more practical subject even with 50k in student debt? |
t3_lo2xn | AskReddit | How do I end a relationship mutually/peacefully? | I've been dating this girl for almost a year now and I'm coming to realize she's not the right one. We have different values, morals, backgrounds and beliefs. This is a problem for us because we're not on the same page about a lot of things, yet we just seem to over look them. She thinks that we can work things out forever. I know that we can't because you can't change a person forever.I've met her family and I don't want to be involved in their drama and my parent surely don't want to accept her as we're culturally total opposites.
I thought I loved her, but the more I realized how different we were, the less I started to believe we were right for each other. I want to end things peacefully because I still care about her and I don't want her to fall into depression. Her heart isn't strong as mine and I know breaking up with her would tear her apart (I'm her first bf). She will likely need to withdraw from school and quit her job if I break up.
How can I end things properly to make things peaceful? I'm trying to think of ways for her to break up with me, but I can't. | I want to break up with my gf, but want to do it in a way where she won't fall into depression and hurt herself. |
t3_4gktn7 | personalfinance | Continue Current 401k Contributions or Use 401k After Max Contributions to IRA? | Quick background: The company I work for has our 401k through Fidelity, but allows us to choose Vanguard funds for our 401k. I've been contributing to a Vanguard Target Date Fund (exp ratio 0.05%) but recently realized that Fidelity takes a small cut because it's a Vanguard fund. They take a flat $9.75/quarter or $39/year.
My question is this: I currently put 20% away for the 401k (6% match), is this fee large enough that I should be taking out $5,500 from my 401k contributions and putting them in an IRA? Pulling that from my 401k contributions will still keep me well above the 6% mark. Admittedly I enjoy having all of my funds in this one account rather than managing two (which I can definitely do if it's worth it, I realize most of the work is in setup). | is a $39 annual fee a big enough deal that I should open an IRA and put some of my 401k savings in that? Or is the fee small enough that it's really hardly worth my time. |
t3_15th7s | Pets | I had a kitten, but it had too much energy for me. Now I'm thinking of adopting an older cat. Thoughts? | I adopted a kitten about 3 weeks ago. He was really awesome, but I just didn't have time to give him the attention he needed. I honestly miss him. After about a week I gave him back to the adoption center because I wanted him to find a new home quickly while he's still small. He found a new home the day after I gave him back. I honestly miss the little guy, and feel bad for putting him through all the stress of being in a new environment.
I work three, twelve hour night shifts a week and require 6-8 hours of sleep prior to, and after working my shift. He would constantly be trying to rub against my face while I was sleeping, or he would kneed my throat and arms, or he would pounce on me and wake me up. I could have left him in the living room of my apartment, but I didn't want him to be all alone for such long periods of time. Plus, I caught him trying to claw the furniture while I was home, and he would get into areas he shouldn't be. I figured, if he's doing these things while I'm here, there's nothing to stop him when I'm gone/sleeping. And whenever I was awake, he would constantly be wanting to play, I'm the only one in my apartment, I have other responsibilities and can't be constantly playing with him.
That's why I'm thinking of getting an older cat, maybe in the ages on 2-5 years old. I figure it will have less energy, and can be left on its own for longer periods of time. I'm worried though because I'm afraid it wouldn't bond as well as a cat i've had since it was a kitten.
What do you all think? Would an older cat be better for a single guy in his mid 20's with a somewhat busy schedule? | I had a kitten but it had too much energy and needed too much attention, would an older cat, say 2-5 years old be better for my somewhat busy life? |
t3_2flnvw | tifu | TIFU by playing video games. | So, after a long day of work I came home to my in-law's, with whom we are staying. I dropped my bags, said hi to my dog, and went to take out the trash. I ran into my FIL out back with the garage open. I thought he might be working on a project and asked if there was anything I could help with. He said he was just changing the air filter in the attic, so he didn't need any help.
Being drained, and it being Friday, I figure it's time to crack a beer and play some Counter Strike. I jumped into my favorite server and put my headphones on. At some point I noticed my dog was barking at something, but, when I took my headphones off, I couldn't hear anything. I went back to the game, but she started barking again. At this point, kids are getting off of the bus on the corner, and I think that must be what she is barking at. I continued at this for a couple of hours.
My SO's mom just came to tell me that, while my FIL was changing the filter, he knocked loose a rust stain on the drain pan, and it started leaking. So he plugged it with his finger and started yelling my name. He sat in the attic for for almost an hour holding his finger to the hole to prevent it from ruining the ceiling... yelling my name the whole time. All the while I'm yelling "Headshot motherfucker!" and yelling at my dog to stop barking at the children outside. She had pulled up and noticed the ladder to the attic was down and found him sweltering and waiting for someone to help. | I was too busy shooting peoples faces to hear my father-in-laws cries for help from the 130+ degree Texas attic. |
t3_4dny2i | relationships | My (17/f) GF told me (17/M) we were going to go take a break. I fucked up! | We've dated for 6 months + a week or two. I had a crush on her for 2 years but after that she made the first step and we ended up together. We were in a normal relationship. The more time I spent with her the more possessive I'd get. I'd feel unhappy with her at times because of various reasons. I love her. She loves me. It's just our relationship went downward. None of us were as happy as we used to be. This weekend, we sat down and talked, where she decided to take a break from our relationship. 8 hours later I went out, drank and fucked a friend of hers who became single the same day. We were both drunk. The day after I wrote to my gf how much I loved her and appreciated her. I told her how thankful I was for everything and that we should stay friends, pretty much ending our relationship. The thing is I misunderstood when she said we we were going on a break, I thought that was the end of it. 3 days later I find out from a friend that she only wanted a break, and now after I broke up with her she doesn't want me back. I haven't talked to her since the final breakup. I'm dying inside. I'm her neighbor and we go to the same school. We'll be going to the same gym and I can't look into her eyes properly. My heart stops beating and I become nervous. Everything just feels weird. I need help. She means a lot to me. I can't explain myself for why I did what I did, but there is nothing I regret more than doing that. | My GF told me we should take a break, I fuck her friend few hours later, I want to get back. |
t3_3t06ox | dating_advice | Is it weird to find a girl you like on facebook? | SO a little background. I work for a delivery company that deals with a lot of vendors and customers. so as a result, I see a lot of different people. And of course some of them are bound to be attractive right? Its simple math! Anyway so today I was going to place to pick up a package from a store for a customer, and I walked into the store and I see a very beautiful girl working behind the counter. So we start talking and we got along well, but sadly I had to leave to deliver the thing to the customer. Im thinking, "damn, im probably not gonna see her again any time soon"
And then I got the notification, another customer ordered from the same place the girl worked at. So I got another chance! I went back and talked to her some more, and wanted to ask for her phone number but I thought it might be weird since she was working.
So I went home and was thinking. "I have her first name... and I know where she works... I could look her up on facebook, talk to her there"....
Well I found her. But my question was if you were her, and you were added by me, would you be creeped out? I mean its not that hard to find people on facebook now a days. | Want to add a girl on facebook that i met while she was working today, want to know if thats strange or stalkerish. |
t3_4h1jyg | relationships | Wondering if my friend [18F] 'likes' me [16M] as more than a friend? | Hi there, throwaway account just so I remain anonymous.
(for this post, i'll call my friend anna)
First of all, I've never really been in a relationship before so anything is a big step for me. I don't really know the 'tells' that you get if a girl likes you or not.
My mother thinks she does like me and she says her track record of predicting such things is nigh on perfect, she's never really made a duff prediction. The reasons she thinks she does are:
Reasons:
She sometimes sees her looking at me when she knows I'm not looking at her. But as soon as I turn to look at her she look away as if she was embarrassed?
If we went to a restaurant or something like that, she'd always try and sit with me. Even in the car journeys to and from she'd still try and sit with me.
However most recently, Anna, her sister and father, along with my mother and I went to a theme park together. In all but one of the rides, she made an effort to sit with me and not with her sister nor her father. The only reason she couldn't sit with me on the aforementioned ride was because there wasn't enough room for her! This became more evident through the day. At one point I popped of to the loo whilst the she and her sister went on another ride. When I came back out she ran to me and grabbed me by the arm and 'you're going on this ride with me, it's so good!' (That ride left me queasy for the rest of the day.......)
Even when we got back her father's house and put the tv on to watch the grand national we still sat together. At one point our feet touched together on the couch and I would have thought she would have moved them away but she didn't. We sat there for a good 5 minutes with our feet touching.
It's just loads of things happening that may or may not be connected but I'd just appreciate your advice on what is going on! My gut feeling is saying that it is all just adrenaline and coincidences.
Thank you for reading this! | Mum thinks my friend 'likes' me. I have no idea if she does as I have never been in a proper relationship. |
t3_429byb | relationships | I [29/m] was abused as a child by my parents and I have never been in a relationship with another man. How does this affect the way I develop friendships and be intimate with others? | I recently came across [this thread] in which a father beats his teenage son after finding out he's been sleeping around with strangers.
A lot of what the OP is talking about in order to justify the abuse (along with other posters) really started to make me question how living with two incredibly abusive parents (physically and emotionally) could have impacted me.
I'm gay and I've personally never been in an intimate relationship - I've only done hook ups. Friendships are just as hard for me to develop and they're even harder when they're with other gay men.
I'm currently seeing a therapist to talk about my issues (which are vast from anxiety to depression to lack of organizational skills to careers etc) but we haven't gotten into the intimacy part.
I was just curious to know what advice and insight /r/relationships could provide to someone who has had an abusive past so I could develop some kind of....awareness ? to myself. | I'm a gay male who has been violently abused both physically and emotionally as a child. I'm almost 30 and still haven't been in an intimate relationship and want to know if and how having an abusive history could have affected me. |
t3_3tpvum | relationships | My girlfriend (19F) and I (18M) have been dating over 4 years, and I love her but feel like I need something different. | So my girlfriend and I got together at the end of Middle School and dated throughout all of high school. We had fights but nothing not normal. I truly love her and she loves me, but I have never even kissed anyone else besides her.
I have already signed the lease to move in with her next year in college and I'm happy with that. I just feel like I need to be with another woman. It has always been an issue with me. My highschool friends were always hooking up with other girls and now it's the same with my college friends. It's almost like I am jealous of what my friends are able to do because they aren't dating anyone.
However when I hangout with my girlfriend I'm happy.
I'm just confused on how to act like this because I wouldn't want to cheat on her, but thoughts have went through my mind | I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years and I love her, but I want to be with another girl sexually. |
t3_3wxgqh | relationships | I [19 F] am supposed to be living with my exBF's twin [18 M] next year but I don't know if I can do it | My ex and I very recently broke up, and he has made it very clear he just wants to move on.
However, I am supposed to be living with my his twin brother next year, but if I am to move on, I don't know if I will be able to do that. I don't want his twin to see who I'm dating or if I bring boys home and tell my ex, nor do I want a daily reminder of my ex. Is this unfair to his twin? Do I need to just get over it and suck it up? Or is it fair to not want to live with him? | Supposed to be living with my exBF's twin brother next year but I don't think I can move on if we do live together |
t3_1t2oon | relationships | I [19F] feel like a loser for not having a job and my boyfriend [22M] of five years makes me feel worse about it. | So I have been looking for a job since I graduated from school and have had the worst luck (if luck actually has anything to do with it). I am not close to exaggerating when I say I have applied to everywhere possible. Every place possible in my local mall and pretty much anywhere I could reach by bus. Yeah I don't drive either.
I have only had a couple interviews and I felt very confident about them but I never received a call back from either. It has made me feel real down about myself. It sucks having no money and not doing something productive.
My boyfriend pays for a lot of what we do. I appreciate all that he does and try to make up for what he spends on me by doing things like cleaning the room(we live with my mom) giving him a massage, and pretty much doing anything he asks of me.
The thing is one minute he seems fine with paying for me then the next he will complain about how much money he spends. He'll say things like "I wish you could contribute more" or " why don't you have a job". Those are things I wish for too! I have been looking for a job for months and whenever I do come across some coin I spend it on him or on an activity we do together. I tell him this but we still have the same conversation every time we hang out.
Something I find weird is he will tell me the reactions his coworkers have to me not having a job. That they say things like "wow what a winner" or tell him he needs to move out. I don't know these people but it still kind of hurt to know that.
I don't even know what I want from you guys. I have no friends or anyone to talk to about this, I guess I just wanted to get it down and have someone besides my boyfriend hear it. Is there something I can better for my boyfriend while I look for a job? Things I can do to not feel like such a loser? | Having trouble finding a job, I feel like a loser, boyfriend makes that feeling worse. I don't know what I am asking of you. |
t3_12tej5 | AskReddit | Senior Neuroscience Concentrator here, is there job opportunities for me in the gaming industry? | I know that the jobs exist, but I am very new to the concept and the field. I understand that Neuroscience / Cognitive Neuroscientists/ Cog Psychologists are hired by gaming companies but for what purpose?
I can only presume it will have to do entirely with User Interface / End-user experience / consultations about the behaviors of the clients while they are playing the game or their tendencies.
Or, I could be entirely wrong.
Does anyone know a close friend / relative acquaintance that works in the gaming industry with a Psychology/ Neuroscience Background?
What do they do? How do I prepare myself for a job like that? | Do you know anyone in the gaming industry that studied Masters Level or has a PhD in Neuroscience / Cognitive Psychology? |
t3_52lp5x | relationship_advice | I [22M] have a date today with a [22F] Thing is she has a kid. | So, a little backstory. I've known this girl since high school and have always been interested in her, but never had a chance to take her out as she was in a committed relationship. She had a daughter with this dude, which is fine by me. Dude cheats on her and splits, and now she's on her own, and is back in the dating pool. We've been talking for about 2 weeks now and decided to go out today. This would be pretty normal, except she's bringing her daughter along, which is cool, I'm all for it, I've just never been on a date with a girl that has children. I'm nervous has hell. Any advice? | girl I'm going out on a first date with has a one year old daughter who will be with us, how should I act? |
t3_c89yp | AskReddit | I just got hit by the "Antispyware soft" malware, I had Avast and Ad-Aware on auto update and I still managed to get infected. Downloading and will install Microsoft Security Essentials and Anti-Malware, Anything else I should do to protect myself? | As the title says, I've had Avast and Ad-aware on auto update and live protection on, and for some reason I still managed to get infected. As my trust in those programs is kinda low right now.
So I decided to follow many redditors recommendations and install MSE as Anti virus and the general consensus on the internet seems to be that Anti-Malware is the best Malware app round.
But is there anything else that I can do to protect myself?
Also anyone know how the hell it spreads? is it a worm?
I pretty much only had Reddit and some other pages open when all of a sudden a Java window pops up causing me to go "Hmmmm that's weird, I didn't start any java app, maybe just an update" , 15 seconds later I get a Virus varning "Hmm thats even weirder that doesn't look like the standard Avast nor Windows warnings" followed by a big "Fuuuuuuuck" as a Virus scanner I never seem before popped up on screen and a IE window opened with some porn site in it.
Big blow to the ego, never had a spyware or virus issue in 10-ish years | Antispyware soft is a awesome new anti-virus with a unique and fast delivery to end users. would buy again A++++ |
t3_2ce71c | relationship_advice | I [24/M] make significantly less money than my girlfriend [24/F]. She has a traditional family who looks down on it, and she herself will never do more than split our bills. | I currently live with my girlfriend and it's great and all, but she makes double what I make. I make $10 an hour working at an organic foods store and she makes 45k as a teacher.
I'm not going to lie, it's kind of embarrassing when she tells her family that I work at a "grocery store," but I like my job. I've been a good partner, but I understand that they're only looking out for their daughter. Although I tend to not value people by their careers and occupations, I get that everyone is different.
What worries me, however, is that she has casually said several times that she will only split bills and jokingly states that she'll never "cover my ass" or give disproportionately.
Thats great and all, but if we we're to ever buy a house or have a kid one day (which has obviously been talked about), it will be completely impossible for us to split everything 50/50 -assuming I don't move up the financial latter *too* much.
Will I need to eventually just "man up" and get a "real" job? Should I just avoid kids, house, etc? I have a degree in history, but little interest in the subject, and I'm not really qualified or interested in most of the salaried jobs available to me. | I make less than my girlfriend who wants to share 50/50, and if we're going to get serious should I try and make more money or just avoid "getting serious." |
t3_1hq0hl | BreakUps | I [23/f] have decided it would be best to break things off with my SO [35/m] of four years - but how? We live together.. | For more backstory see here -> [Backstory](
Basically, I want to be on my own. I still care about him and love him, but I am not in love anymore. I just want to be my own person and see/experience new things. I do not know how to approach this though. We live together - I pay the rent mostly, he helps when he can with bills etc. I can afford the rent, he can't - he also doesn't really have anywhere else to go that I know of. He is in the process of rebuilding his car so he has no transportation...
I am the bad person, and I know that. But, he has to know our relationship isn't working anymore. He got angry with me last night for something stupid, I refused to fight and just sat there. After he said his peace I mentioned how perhaps since I make him so unhappy he, we, would be better off ending things. We haven't really spoken since. I have been upstairs all day, and he's been downstairs. I am not mad. At all. I just... don't know what to say/do. I don't want to go and lead him on, but I don't know how or when I should end it...
Reddit I'm totally clueless, please help me. | How do I break up with my boyfriend of 4 years if he lives with me, has no strong income, no car and no where else to go (seemingly) ? |
t3_1yo6nn | relationships | [22M] I'm not sure how I'm supposed to handle this situation.. | Hey!
Just for your information: I'm a 22 year old male, with little to no dating/relationship experience..
I've met this girl (21 years old) online, and we've been talking via facebook-text-whatsapp-snapchat-... for more than a month now.
Conversations have ranged from serious, to funny, to even flirting with eachother.
However.. Every time I try to ask her out, she's either always busy, or something comes up a couple of hours before the 'date'.
Because she has an internship that also sometimes requires her to show up during the weekends from 2-10pm, I realize that she wants to use some of her free time as 'me'-time just to relax.
But a couple of days ago she also refused to go do something together because she had to start at 9am the next day, which is no problem for me of course. I went out with some friends and had a great evening, but for some reason, she and I kept talking via sms/snapchat/facebook/whatsapp/... where she told me she was bored and was going to watch a movie on her laptop. It's not that we were miles apart, because the pub we went to is in walking distance from her home..
I've asked her out a couple of times now, and I've even apologized for asking so many times, but she replied saying it was not a problem at all, and that we should hang out sometime.
I don't want to look obsessed or 'overly attached', but I also don't want to lose my chance to get to know this girl.
So I'm kind of clueless as of what I'm supposed to do now.. | Girl is avoiding to meet in real life, even though I've received more than enough pictures from her (snapchat/facebook). |
t3_uk8pz | relationships | Is it wrong of me to ask for one more chance for us to live together? | M20 F20 (I'm the M), been dating for over a year, known each other for over two.
About 9 months ago my girlfriend and I decided to move in together. Over that course, we had our differences and it came out that she felt she needed her space. I didn't accommodate that at the time and she fell into a slump, but she resolved to sign a new lease with me and get her own pets. She's since been visiting her parents across the country and has left me in the new place (that we moved into about a week before she left) with her pets. It's been the hardest month of my life so far (and still have a bit more to go), but I've made a lot of self discoveries and made a lot of progress that has made me more self sufficient and less inclined to be as smothering as I once was.
Here's the problem. Due to her sadness when she left, having her independence across the country has resolved her to want to move out when she gets back. She hasn't given me a chance to show her how great the new place is. She hasn't given me a chance to show her how much self improvement I've made. Is it wrong of me to want her to try living with me for a bit to see if the new place is a good fit? Beyond that, she signed a lease with me. I can't afford to live in this place on my own. She's also unemployed right now (her mom pays her rent). I just feel like I'm being given the short end of the stick right now. I've given her so much space on her trip as of late and I realize how easy it is to make large decisions when you're 2000 miles away, but I don't think it should be so.
Thanks for reading. I had to get it off my chest. | Girlfriend is across the country, decides she wants to move out, I feel like I deserve another chance to show her how much I've improved in her absence. |
t3_2p94c6 | relationships | My (25F) boyfriend of 6 months (28M) smokes and it's getting worse. | I didn't realize he smokes when we got together and I claim that I fell for him before I knew that fact.
Since we have been together he has stopped smoking as frequently and it isn't such a big problem.
As a non smoker I cannot stand the smell when he smokes and afterwards that's clings to him and his clothes. I hate that his scent has a faint cigarette smell on it too.
His brother and brothers gf have just moved in with us and they both smoke a fair bit and so now he is joining in.
I have explained to him that I feel excluded when they leave me to go smoke and that it's not fair on me to not want to sit in my own house because they stink like cigarettes.
I thought we had hashed things out today but tonight he got frustrated with me when I walked past his brother and brothers gf to be in front and not have to smell the cigarettes.
He told me he was 'sick of my shit'. We had been drinking so maybe everything seems worse, but I don't deserve to be treated like that.
I have tried so hard for this long to be ok with it, and not say anything a lot of the time. | b f's smoking habit was decreasing, now he smokes more with friends and family around and I can't stand it. I don't know what to do. |
t3_31kzc9 | relationships | Me [27F] having a hard time trusting my [28M] BF after we almost broke up. | My BF and I have been dating a little over a year. Recently (about 3 times in the past 2 months) I have been bringing up political topics while drinking. This inevitably leads to a fight, because we have different viewpoints. These are the only fights we've had in the entire time we've been dating. Everything else has been great - he's the first guy I've dated I could see myself having kids with.
The last fight was last weekend. We talked about it the next day, things were said, and I was led to believe that he thinks this is a huge incompatibility and not only am I ridiculous for thinking the way I do, but also, I don't make enough money for him to boot. First off, I was blindsided - he has never communicated this once to me, in fact he suggested moving in together a month ago. Then my next thoughts: "Ok, wow. So it's over then." Wait, not so fast, he doesn't want to give up on the relationship just yet. I needed some time to think.
Middle of last week we have a long talk, he regrets some of the things he said, we both decide we're not ready to end it.
Here's my deal though. I'm having such a hard time trusting that he really wants to make this work. I feel like he's just not ready to break up, yet. I'm incredibly insecure now, and just expecting to get hurt. The littlest things are getting me anxious - for example, texting has been pretty sporadic so now my mind automatically leaps to the far out (or maybe not?) idea that he's trying to get himself used to not talking to me as much.
I've brought this up to him in the form of, "How long should we wait to see if this is working for us?" and his reply was "Until it's not". He also knows I'm feeling insecure, but I haven't seen anything that he's done to reassure me.
Ugh, what do you think reddit? | BF and I almost broke up, now I can't stop thinking that it's inevitable, and it's only a matter of time. |
t3_29n6ag | tifu | TIFU by possibly getting my dad fired | This happened last night but whatever, it's still more recent than most of the stories on here. Okay, so my dad brought a copy of MS Office for Mac home from work and my mom wanted me to install it on her laptop, so I registered the license and installed it.
Well apparently my dads company is going through a Microsoft audit right now and it was the company's product key. Now, my dad said not to install that software, but before I did anything, through a long series of misunderstandings, my mom and I both thought that my dad gave the other the green light, so I went ahead and did it. Big mistake.
My dad is head of IT and he may now lose his job, as well as his Microsoft certification. From what I understand, if he loses his certification, he will also be unable to get another job in IT. Oh, and my mom is leaving her job to become a stay at home mom soon so my dad would be the only source of income. | I helped my mom install Microsoft Office and might have cost my dad his job, possibly causing my family a lot of financial problems in the future. |
t3_1lk50g | relationships | Me [19M] trying to get over my ex [18F] and struggling with it | I know people will tell me I'm young and I can bounce back fast and all that, but its been getting harder and harder. I feel like I was doing better the first two weeks after the break up than I do now. We decided to split because neither of us wanted to do long distance for an extended period of time and we each had very different outlooks on life. I'm trying to keep myself busy with things such as going out to see movies with friends, studying for my classes, and working out everyday, but at night I always have trouble falling asleep and when I do, I end up waking up 4 hours later and I cant go back to bed. During the day, I hardly eat and my meals are small compared to earlier in the month. Is this normal? Is there anything else I can try to help me move on or is this something I'm going to have to tough out for a while? | Gf and I broke up because of college. Its been a month but moving on feels like its getting more difficult. |
t3_1mo7j0 | loseit | After 1 year I am finally where I think I want to be (Progress Pics inside) | So, I've always been more .. big. Not too big, it was always okay for me, but big. However, when I travelled to Fiji last year I was at 100kg and a bit more and I finally decided that I actually want to lose weight to feel more comfortable.
I was 18 years old back then and still in high school. I tried a lot of things, sports however was never really my thing. I wanted to, but always ended up with injuries here and there. So all I did was to not eat .. changing from Cola to Cola Zero, cutting out sweets and so on.
Eventually I ended up signing up for a gym. I literally didn't eat anything besides 600g of meat every day .. probably not healthy, but I lost a lot of weight again. I plateaued at around 80kg for several months, but then when I picked up running again (up until now without injuries, up to 20km!) I finally lost weight again. I think the biggest achievement is that I actually don't eat out of boredom/sadness or whatever anymore but only eat to survive .. basically. And I learned to enjoy meals instead of eating them as fast as I can.
I'm at 65kg right now and I'm always really happy when my fellow students (I go to a university in the Netherlands right now (I'm German)) tell me how they can't actually recognize me on my facebook pictures.
Unfortunately though, while I lost a lot of weight, I don't really feel more confident. I'm still super shy and put my arms everywhere in front of me or hide where ever so I'm not really exposed. I feel like I still miss lots of opportunities, but it is continuously getting better.
Some pictures: | Lost about 35kg without really knowing what I'm doing. I just didn't eat a lot until it became a habit to not eat a lot. No special anything. Didn't gain any confidence but still happier than before. |
t3_522jg2 | running | Fat Burning: can't see the wood for the trees | Hi /r/runners
Let's start by a little introduction. I'm Polygoon_BE from, you'll never guess, Belgium. I've never been a sporty type of guy but started running 2 years ago. By that time I was heavily overweight, it was time to do something.
I went off for a exchange program to Lisbon, Portugal. It was lovely. I picked up a C25K program and went from [THIS] to [THIS] in 5 months. My first goal was completed. 5k in under 30 minutes. I arrived in Portugal as 97kg weighing 21 year old and left as a 83kg weighing 22 year old. Great success!
Since that time I've had a few new PR's: I ran a faster [5K] and my first [10K](
BUT
My weight is been swinging between 79kg and 84kg. It's been more of the latter unfortunately.
AND NOW:
I want to lose 5-8 more kg's. 75kg would be a target (I'm only 1,79m). I've tried low BPM runs but it's SO SLOW and can't really find the patience to build it up. I mean 7:00 km pace is horrible to maintain :(
I think HIIT is the way to go right? But there are so many programs out there, no idea which would fit me best or is the best.
So please /r/running , help me out here (and I hope I didn't break any rules)
Some extras:
HR monitor: Polar H7 + iPhone 5
Running shoes: Nike Lunarglide 4 | Looking for a way to burn fat. Got endurance (sort of) and think HIIT is the way to go but no idea which program to take. |
t3_wndpi | personalfinance | Getting an idea of Med School interest rates? | I am in the process of applying to medical school and the tuition numbers are horrifyingly enormous... worst-case scenario I am looking at $250,000 in debt :( I'm hoping to mitigate some of my woes by doing some advanced searching for the best interest rates possible.
Anyone have information on typical government-based, private, and school-based medical school loan interest rates?
A brief search of the net turned up a bunch of ambiguous information. Schools and banks both seem to be dodging the question of exact interest rates, instead referring to all the discounts possible.
If it helps my credit score is around 760, I am a male in my mid-twenties and am financially independent. | What are some typical government-based, private, and school-based medical school loan interest rates? Credit score of 760, independent male, mid-twenties |
t3_1t1h8u | relationships | My 23M boyfriend and I (23F) broke up after two years and I'm having difficulty socially readjusting | The reasons we broke up aren't super important, but the short version of why is because I'm currently in another state and the majority of our relationship has been long distance. I'm developing as a person and becoming an adult and I feel like he's been stuck in this Peter Pan, bro-like denial of aging and growing up where he'll do his course work and go into his job, but he smokes a ton of weed and drinks frequently to the point of being drunk and it pisses me off.
Now I'm back home for the winter break and I'm having to readjust to being home without being together. The biggest issue is that we share a circle of friends, so whenever anything happens as far as events, he and I will both be there. It isn't awkward between us and we still really care about each other.
It's weird now because I'm not being invited to things by some of our friends and my ex is trying to include me, but is excluding me from things as well. I come and hang out with them after not seeing people for a few days and they're talking about what happened at the bar one of the nights that I didn't see them (when it's clearly a social thing and not a localized group hang out).
I know I won't get invited to things for the sake of being his girlfriend anymore, but it feels shitty that I'm excluded from otherwise normal social gatherings in one of the only times I'm here all year. Any suggestions on how to cope with/handle this would be appreciated. | ex and our mutual friends are excluding me from non-excusive social gatherings and it feels like shit halp plz |
t3_3gsn6v | tifu | TIFU by trying to be cute for my girlfriend | This happened a few hours ago at work. I started working at a pretty big marketing company in Los Angeles last week and was basically given the job as a favor to my mother who knows the CEO, to build my resume as I am a recent college graduate with limited experience. Because of this, they kind of just threw me at a desk where the support team is located (who are always taking calls) and really don't give me much to do so I often find myself sitting around on my phone. Today, while rather slow for me, I thought it would be funny/cute if I made my girlfriend a Spotify playlist consisting of a bunch of late 90's/early 2000's pop songs like Nsync and Backstreet Boys. Anyway, in order to add a song to a playlist you have to press a button next to the song and press add to playlist. Simple enough, unless you press a millimeter away from the add to playlist button and consequentially play the song, which is exactly what I did, on full volume. So as everyone in support is taking calls, my phone starts blaring the Spice Girls, "YO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT! SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT!" . I went into an instant panic since i'm the new guy, didn't stop playing the music, and instead slid my phone about 5 feet across the floor and decided i'd just pretend it wasn't my phone. Someone picked it up and when nobody confessed as to who's it was they took it to HR. I was too embarrassed to get it and just went home without it. I'm hoping I could come in early and pick it up without anyone noticing. | Blasted Wannabe by Spice Girls in the middle of a busy office, refused to take responsibility for it, currently don't have a phone. |
t3_3up4yb | relationships | My dad (55/m) has dinner plans without me (22/f) for the one day I get to see him this year. Am I overreacting? | I live across the country and haven't seen my family in a year. I could only afford a trip to see them for one full day, so I'm trying to pack as much family time as possible in 14 hours.
I was speaking with him on the phone today about said trip, and he mentioned that, "[Step mom] wanted to eat dinner with the neighbors that night, so go hang out with some friends while we're there and we'll catch up with you after." I told him that I'd rather spend time with him, since my dad has strange work hours and I would only get to see him at night anyway. He brushed it off as nothing and encouraged me to reach out to some friends.
I'm pretty bummed. The night I was going to have catching up with my dad got cut to two hours, maybe less depending on how late they stay.
I've tried explaining how frustrating this is for me, especially since I'm spending more time flying to/from home than I am during the visit (I'm also missing two days of work, unpaid), but he's pretty set in his ways. I'm just really sad, and I'm not sure how justified I am in feeling that way. I almost don't want to go, since I'm putting so much energy into this trip, and he travels frequently with his 'local family' all over the globe but can't visit me so far.
I'll go and enjoy the company of all the family I can; I just don't know how to get more time in with my dad for those few hours I'm there. Sorry for sounding bitter; I would be more understanding if I didn't know that the dinner they're going to is a weekly thing.
Thanks for reading, any advice is appreciated. | Dad is going to weekly dinner party during the one night I get to see him this year. I want to take advantage of all the time I can with my family. |
t3_1jyrv3 | relationship_advice | My wife [29/f] is giving me [29/m] the silent treatment after I spaced out during a conversation about her job | Everything was fine. With our daughter staying at grandma's house, we were planning on going to dinner. On the drive to the restaurant, we got on the topic of her job. After we were seated at the restaurant, placed our drink orders, received our drinks, and placed our dinner orders, the subject of conversation hadn't changed. She was still going on about the goings-on at work and I started to space out. I must've responded in a way which didn't make sense, because she responded with "You're not even listening to me." "Sorry," I said "I was just looking at the dessert menu. You were saying...?" She came back with "Whatever. I'm done." Those we're the last words she spoke to me. I tried to apologize, she wouldn't talk to me. She even started crying. We ate our meals in silence and didn't speak a word to each other all night. We slept in separate beds last night. (Which occasionally happens anyway, for comfort reasons). And we both went to work this morning... I feel like a piece of shit.
I know how silly this must seem on the surface. But, we are not immature teenagers. We've been together for 8 years. This type of thing very rarely happens. Especially over something (seemingly) so petty. There almost has to be more to this situation that I am not seeing.
I really don't know where to go from here. She's a very stubborn woman, and I don't want to dig this hole any deeper. | My wife is super pissed and not talking to me after I wasn't paying attention during a lengthy conversation about her job. |
t3_37t8bt | tifu | TIFU by kissing an attractive guy | This week I went to go visit a friend of mine who lives out of town. I had never been to her house before, so I didn't know anyone that was close to her aside from her parents and siblings.
Well tonight, she decided to have a party. I went, and I was having a really great time meeting new people and hanging out with them, when a cute guy about my age came up to me and introduced himself. We eventually split away from the group and ended up talking and laughing for a couple of hours. We clicked and he seemed like a really nice guy, so when he leaned in to kiss me I didn't stop him.
Later, near the end of the party, he and I met up with my friend who had been busy all night. She looked at the both of us and smiled, and I assumed that was because she knew I found a guy I really liked.
But then, he walked over to her, she slipped her arm around him, and she said "Oh hey, looks like you met my boyfriend!"
He just looked at me with zero remorse and I stood frozen there for a few seconds before blurting out some excuse and leaving. Not really sure what to do now. | I met a nice, cute guy at a friend's party, let him kiss me, then found out he was said friend's boyfriend. |
t3_53p6ia | relationships | I [37 M] re-introduced back into dating, and after 6 dates she [37F] seems to be too busy, or not interested anymore | I've gotten back into the dating scene after a hiatus, went out on a few dates with this girl (about 6 times) who I knew of 15 years ago, and things progressed really well, as in, I've gone over to her place and cooked for her a few times.
Our primary communication is through text, but lately, (and I don't know why) she hasn't been replying to messages in the same manner as she was before. (answers them late, doesn't ask questions, just replies)
My gut feeling is that she's just not interested anymore (although I don't know why, our last meeting was great!)
I'm just not sure if I should chalk it up to a loss and move on to the next one, or preferably send a message just to figure things out, but I am really unsure as what to say, my instinct is if I go that route, to say something along the lines of "it was really great catching up with you after all these years, I've had a great time and I'd like to get to know you more. Lately I've had the feeling as if you've been really busy, so I'm unsure how to proceed"
of course that's a terrible example, I'm not great in writing, so basically my question is this: Should I just forget about this and continue on with my life, should I ask what's going on with her (in a way that does not seem so awkward), or should I just continue on as I've been doing this past month or so? | Started dating a girl which was going really well, for some reason she just stopped showing interest. Unsure how to proceed. |
t3_53qctr | relationships | Me [16M] have a health scare and I don't know how to approach it with my parents | Hello, I'll jump right into this.
Recently, around the middle of last week, I discovered a health "scare" on my body. Now, I'm not scared, I'm not afraid it might be cancerous, though being diagnosed would be dreadful, it could be anything. Now, normally it should be easy to tell your parents, but this, sadly is on my crotch. I'm not sexually active and never have been in any form but due to me living in America where health care costs are high, I know my parent's would like to see for themselves. But that makes me uncomfortable. I just want to get it checked out by the doctor, but I know my parents will want to look but I don't want them to. | I have a health scare in my crotch area. I know my parents would like to inspect. Normally I'd be okay, but due to where it is, I'm uncomfortable with it. Never been sexually active. |
t3_3ahw8s | relationship_advice | I [23/M] got out of a bad relationship, ex cheating on me, we broke up and now that I found this wonderfull loyal girl [18/F] I still sometimes get the thoughts she cheats aswell. | So about two years ago I stepped out of a pretty bad relationship which left me kind of scarred. Because my ex cheated on me three times and how stupid I was back then, I forgave her untill SHE broke up.
So fastforward, two years later I met this wonderfull girl which I am still dating. I have probably never been so happy in my life. The only problem is, is that I recently started to get those thoughts that she is texting other boys whenever she isn't responding for a while on my texts. Now I know that in the back of my head, that she is not doing that. She knows of my past so she even gave me the passwords of all her social media accounts. Not that I have ever checked, because I don't wanna go that far. All I wanna know is how do I get rid of these thoughts ?
Thanks! | previous relationship ex cheated, me trust issues, new wonderfull loyal gf, still thoughts of her cheating even though she isn't, get rid of these thoughts, help :( |
t3_3yscvd | relationships | me [26M] having trouble with an old friend [25F], worried that I've scared her off. | So, I recently (beginning of the month) got back in contact with a girl I knew in undergrad and have sporadically talked and hung out with since then (2013). I would consider her a good friend, and I've always had a bit of a crush on her. This time, she's single and has actually reciprocated feelings towards me. We've hung out a few times, mostly just watching Netflix and drinking at her place (we kissed, and cuddled a bit). I brought up to her 2 weeks ago that I wanted to pursue a relationship with her, and her response was that she was working through things and wanted to take it slow. I agreed with her, since I don't want to lose a friend of it doesn't work out.
Within the past 2 weeks though, I've tried inviting her out a few(4) times, and each time she's had an excuse. Even if I just message her to talk, it's short answers that don't really continue the conversation. I've been trying to keep this to a minimum, but it's driving me crazy after the first few times hanging out going so well.
I guess what I'm getting at is, am I being too obsessive? Did mentioning a potential relationship scare her off? I just want to spend more time with her, and maybe I don't know what she meant by taking it slowly? | Girl who I've been friends with for years is blowing me off. I'm worried that attempting to pursue her is blowing up in my face . |
t3_1p01ep | relationships | I'm [22F] not sure if he's [20M] actually interested after a night of fooling around | We both go to college together and have known each other for a few weeks. I could tell he was interested in me.
A few nights ago, we both got really drunk at a party and ended up fooling around in my room. I feel bad because he was so eager to go down on me (which I didn't let him) and got me off multiple times without me reciprocating (I was very out of it).
In the morning, we soberly made out and watched tv for a bit. We awkwardly parted without either of us making definite plans to hang out again.
He had my number but I didn't have his, so I sent him a message via fb saying I wanted to hang out with him and asked him for his number. He texted me his number but said what sounded like an elaborate excuse about how busy he was and couldn't hang out. *But* he also sent me a message on fb confirming that I got his number and text.
I'm really bad at reading these kinds of things and don't know if I'm supposed to be the one to contact him again?
Is this just another one of those hookups where you're nicely getting blown off?
He made an excuse for why he couldn't hang out that day but didn't even offer up an alternative.. | Fooled around with a guy I've known for a few weeks. He says he's really busy (sounds like an excuse) but still makes sure I have his number. Am I the one who should be pursuing him? |
t3_1o66ah | relationship_advice | How do you read this situation after a one night stand? M/23 F/21. | Met a girl last Friday who I've briefly met before who was into me back then, went back to hers and did the dirty. Was great, she seemed really into me and afterwards we spooned and locked legs and stuff and for a ONS it felt rather romantic actually. About an hour afterwards we both woke up and I fingered her for a bit which she seemed REALLY into and then that was it. Went sleep, woke up at like 11 and left with a kiss and me asking her to text me to which she said yeah.
Anyway, she went on holiday on the Monday, I text her on Monday saying I'd had fun and it'd be great to meet up when she gets back but she didn't have the internet until like Wednesday (according to iMessage) when it was eventually delivered. She hasn't responded and is back tomorrow and conveniently going clubbing (so am I) so I'm a bit lost.
I don't know what she is thinking but it's driving me a bit mad, do you think she's waiting to get home before getting back to me (she's been on Twitter and stuff so could have responded quite easily) or am I just another guy by the wayside for her? She didn't seem the sort at all and mentioned that she never gets guys so I don't think this is a regular thing for her.
I'd love to see her again and get to know her and stuff and I'm probably overthinking this way too much for what it is but I thought I'd get a neutral perspective on it. I thought the roles were conventionally supposed to be the other way around haha, why am I getting attached to this one girl?
Women, man. | Banged girl, she went on holiday, I like her and she seemed to like me but she hasn't responded since. Whatsupwitdat? |
t3_4ad5u2 | relationships | My parents (48F/49M) insist on pulling me into their marriage issues but it makes me (25/F) uncomfortable, how do I nicely tell them to stop involving me? | Like the title states, my parents, primarily my mom, keep trying to pull me into their marriage issues and fights. I live several states away, so most of this is done over the phone and via text at all hours. It really stresses me out and hikes up my anxiety, especially since my mom tries to call me or text me either late at night when I am sleeping or during work, which disrupts my day. I love them both and I can kind of (I guess..) understand why they might think involving me is a viable option (my mom's reply is usually "We're a family, we're all in this together!"), however I do not want to be involved. I strongly believe this is something they need to work out between themselves without me. | So how do I, as nicely yet firmly as possible, tell my parents (particularly my mom) that I do not want to be involved in their fights? |
t3_33aqxh | relationships | I [21F] let my BF [22 M] participate in an undie run that ends at a bar, claims that nothing happened | My BF just participated in an undie run at a university. I don't have a problem with the run itself it's that the run ended at several bars and clubs with everyone still in their underwear. I told him that I was uncomfortable with letting him go.
Long story short, my BF begged and begged until I finally let him go. He went and claimed that he "stayed" at the bar the whole night and that nothing happened but told me stories of his friends dancing with other girls and one of them getting lucky.
I know that I'm supposed to trust his word and I do, but it still bothers me so much to the point I'm thinking about it 24/7. I know that if I was to the same, he would have made it a bigger issue. I'm not insecure about our relationship but I feel like he shouldn't have put himself in a situation where he could have damaged our relationship. How am I supposed to go about this? | BF begged to go to an undie run that ended up at university bars and clubs. Went and says nothing happened but his friends scored. Still feel uncomfortable about the whole situation. |
t3_4s16jd | relationships | My (24M) GF (25F) of over 2.5 years just ended things on the 4th. I miss her. | My GF of over 2.5 years just ended things the beginning of this last week and it devastated me.
She has been battling feelings back and forth for a while now, mostly feelings of whether or not she was ready for a serious relationship. We're both in college, I only have a few more months left, and she has over a year to go.
We've seriously discussed marriage and plans for a future, but it has bounced back and forth for her from talking too seriously and moving too fast, to not moving fast enough.
We both have told each other how we love each other and are each others' best friend, having felt so close to each other. We have had ups and downs throughout college, but we've stayed together despite it all, and now that it's reaching an end point, she decides to break it off.
I miss her and want her back, but I want most for her to be happy.
I guess the real reason I'm posting is because it hurts and I would like to know how others have coped in a healthy way. | My Girlfriend of over 2.5 years just broke up with me. It hurts. I miss her. How do people cope in a healthy way? |
t3_yprhh | Dogtraining | Please Help! My mother has recently become ill and cannot take care of her dog. Now he is mine. The carpet is his toilet, he has severe separation anxiety, and throws up when he gets nervous. How do I help him cope with the move? (x-post /r/pets and /r/dogs) | My mom has had Topher since he was a year old, he is part chihuahua / part mini dachshund, and has never been trained properly. Since her illness, my mom cannot take care of him and he was either going to me or the pound, probably to be put down. So my husband and I agreed to take him into our tiny apartment. Where, by the way, we already have a part border collie / part Australian Shepard. She's the exact opposite of Topher: house-trained, obedient, and very calm. Together, they have no problems at all with food or toys but Topher changing her. Yesterday, she peed in the house. She hasn't done that since she was 6 weeks old. We are getting complaints from our neighbors that he will bark, howl, and scream all day while my husband and I are at work. Please help us. We really don't want to send him to the pound or anything like that. This was an unexpected thing and we are not financially prepared to send him to a training day camp. | Unexpectedly acquired a new dog. He is converting my other dog to his evil ways. How do I go Harry Potter on his Voldemort ass? |
t3_rrfde | AskReddit | After three years of university, I've come to realize I need to change majors. Any advice on the path I should take? | Ok reddit, I'm just gonna let it all out.
I have been a student of Aerospace Engineering at my university for the last three years. After a long a painful conversation with my undergrad advisers about why I always seem to be in a constant haze of stress and near-depression in regards to school we came to the decision that ASE probably isn't right for me.
My issue is this - I have spent around $50k in student loans getting through my first few years with the expectation of having a solid, well paid job at the end of my undergrad. Now if I change majors I stand to essentially throw away fifty grand (I do have all my basics out of the way at least, so I'd have little down time between majors) for the sake of being successful at my field of study.
I have a love of programming and things of a more technical nature, along with several years worth of experience in a shop/industrial environment which is why I gravitated towards aerospace. However as it turns out, rocket science is *fucking hard* and many of the higher level concepts are over my head no matter how much study time I put into trying to comprehend them.
Additionally, I have worked as an intern for about half a year at a production company making props (hey, gotta take whatever opportunity life gives ya, right?) and I really enjoyed the world of production and editing. The ability to see instant and tangible results is what made me love it so much, and is something that ASE lacks sorely.
What the heck should I do to figure out what my new focus of study will be?? I'm not going to school for the purpose of learning - I'm going to school so I can get a job with decent pay, but I have zero knowledge of job markets outside of the engineering sector. | My current major is not working for me and I need to change to a new one that still has a high level of job assurance at graduation. |
t3_qsvxa | AskReddit | Does anyone else not care about the 16 dead in Afghanistan? | The muslim world protests more over cartoons of mohammad than they do of people getting killed for no reason. It's no surprise to me actually, I'm well aware that life means very little in comparison to religion, since believers just think the dead are going to heaven. But this also undermines my ability to feel any kind of sorrow for the 16 that got shot. If they don't value their lives as much as a fucking drawing, then why should anyone be expected to care about this? "Insult" islam and the streets will be filled with angry muslims in countries all over the world. Kill 16 civilians for no reason? Just some criticism, maybe some protests in Afghanistan, a complimentary article in the BBC, and in a week this won't even be an issue anymore for the public. | if a drawing of mohammad is a bigger insult to muslims than dead civilians, I don't give a fuck about the 16 civilians killed in Afghanistan. |
t3_fm4rk | travel | How can Americans teach/student teach in Europe? | I'm having trouble getting straight answers on this subject in my research, and was hoping someone out there had some experience or knowledge and could help direct me in the right direction.
My wife and I are American and fairly experienced travelers. We have experience teaching ESL in Korea and she has experience as a para in US schools. She will have her primary certificate, and I am hoping to complete student teaching abroad, otherwise I will complete that here and be certified as well.
We went through a recruiter to get jobs in Korea. Are there recruiters who places teachers in Europe as well? Recruiters who won't charge me? (At least not before they find me a job)
I'm particularly interested in international schools and Department of Defense schools in Germany, France, and Spain, but really I'd be happy just about anywhere in Europe.
I also have been told that in Germany among other places, there is something called an "American University" which is actually an American-style K-12 which primarily serves children of native English-speaking foreigners, but I've been unable to confirm the existence of these schools.
Thanks, guys. | Americans with teaching certificates and experience. Teaching jobs in Europe? International schools? DoD schools? "American Universities"? Recruiters? |
t3_41iesd | relationships | Me [23M] Dating [23F] for 2 months but how do i continue now? | Alright so i've been dating this girl for 2 months and everything went great, good chemistry and we both felt amazing when we were together.
Fast forward to the status now, i asked two weeks ago what she wanted and she said she wasnt looking for a relationship as she doesnt want one right now.
I was fine with that and we suggested to take it slow, obviously me being crazy in love with her pushed things maybe too fast.
I still tried to contact her almost daily and i see what kind of mistake that was now after thinking about it.
So yesterday the topic arised again unfourtunetly with her saying the same thing, also adding that she doesnt want to hurt me or lead me on. I pretty much opened up my heart saying how i felt about her and that i am willing to invest time and energy into it but that i needed to make sure she will be waiting for me as well. I also asked her to be honest about it.
She told me that she finds me amazing and that i am really nice to her. She continued saying that she wants to be honest but is afraid of losing me as well. She doesnt want me as a boyfriend or anyone else for that matter. She said she isnt ready for it and isnt going to be for a while.
She said she doesnt love herself enough and is incapable of loving somebody else at this moment. After reading all of that i said to her that i respect what she said and i thanked her for her honesty.
I said that ill be there for her and that she shouldnt be afraid of losing me.
The thing is, i made up my mind and i want to pursue her.
Even if it takes a few months, i just feel that she is amazing.
But how do i keep in contact but giving her enough space and time to let her develop the right mindset to start something? | met a girl, she wants nothing but doesnt want to loose me. She doesnt love herself and is incapable of loving someone. |
t3_3up4ey | relationships | Thanksgiving get together with friends, finding myself [M23] having to resist the urge to kiss & etc, an old flame [F22]. Find out even further a buddy [M21] feels the same way toward her this evening. | Title explains majority, but it was very strange. Had a great evening of food and entertainment and she was able to join the event sorta unexpectedly (in a positive unexpected). We've hung out many times as friends without any incident but for some reason tonight I found myself having old compulsions to grab her waist, or kiss her on the lips (that last one was a huge urge). When we had a moment alone in the kitchen, I personally experienced the old tension and strong urges to steal a kiss from her. I wouldn't say I've fallen in head over heels love with her but I will always care for her, and she will hold a place in my heart. Both me, her, and my buddy are in happy relationships as life has moved forward. But each of us (me and my buddy) has had history with her at some point (me more extensively) but history nonetheless. There isnt any animosity between my buddy and I about the feeling, just mutual understanding (hes a very close friend). But It was just strange to have these urges and feelings come up like this. I'm very happy with my relationship and I wouldn't want to comprimise it. But I'll be damned if I don't find my mind wandering toward kissing her (old flame) lips. Or just the excitement of seeing her again. | I have the strong urge surprisingly, along with my buddy, to kiss an old flame at my friends thanksgiving party. |
t3_xtwp3 | AskReddit | Hi Reddit, I am married with someone whom I loved. I still want to be in touch with my ex (no cheating involved). | My ex is a nice person and he is in another city. The only reason I broke up with him was that I wanted to get married and he didn't. I came in touch with another guy and thought I loved spending time with him. I slowly started loving him and ended up living together. He is quite an open guy and would never say if I go an meet my ex from another city. But I guess he will feel hurt inside.
Not in a cheating way, but for old times sake, I still want to know how is my ex doing and I really hope that he was able to cope up with the break up (his facebook profile tells that he is finding it difficult). I don't know what should I do.
Thank you all for the help. | i am a married girl want to keep my ex in touch while being faithful to my partner. Not sure how my partner would feel. |
t3_53ecrv | relationships | Me [51 M] with my [50F] wife: Happy 25th anniversary, she's gay. | Background: Things were pretty normal until about 5 years ago, when one of her parents died. Long, drawn out *died*, which resulted in crippling depression for her.
A few years of antidepressants (with their concomitant lowered libido) and suddenly we're not having sex anymore.
OK, that's a lie. Once a year. We had sex once a year. Seems silly to count, but when it only happens once a year, it's memorable.
Next, off to a therapist for a year for her and then...today...she tells me that she's gay.
What now? No kids, FWIW, and we own the house and we were on track to a reasonable retirement. Divorce or separation will wipe that out.
I suspected something was up, but still. Could I live with her still? Am I so shallow that our relationship hinges on sex? I'd say no--on the one hand--It's been a basically sexless marriage since the anti-depressents.
On the other hand, as shallow as it is, being found sexually attractive and desirable *is* important...Isn't it?
Help! | My (51M) wife (50) of 25 years got me an anniversary present three weeks early! She's gay! |
t3_q9etl | AskReddit | So this happened to me after work and I want to know what Reddit thinks. | So driving home from work I'm listening to my favorite rock station on the radio. Well, the DJ starts talking about a bar special that happens every wednesday when they lower domestic beer to .25 cents a bottle. He then goes on to say that all those people that have trouble with women should come out. He says that its "simple." Just to buy them a lot of drinks and they will do what you want. This DJ even goes as far to say that "Sure they might feel bad in the morning, but you'll feel great." This struck me as something that shouldn't be promoted on air to listeners. It was pretty much an advertisement to a bar that over serves individuals and men that attempt to get girls so drunk they can have their way regardless of consequences. To be clear, I am a male with a fiance and a daughter. His casual tone just pissed me off. What say you Reddit? | Asshole DJ promotes drowning women with alcohol in order to get laid. Overall idea seems wrong to support a business that over serves to this point. How does Reddit feel about it? |
t3_1imoy3 | relationships | Should I [M/25] the girl [F/24] I've been seeing for 4 weeks lingerie for her birthday? | Met this girl through friends about 6 months ago. Didn't see her again until 4 weeks ago when we hooked up after a bar night w/ friends. Since then we have been seeing each other every Friday & Saturday. We live/work about an hour apart and since neither of us drives, we don't see each other during the week, but in the past couple weeks we have been texting almost daily. Haven't yet had the "where is this going talk," but it feels like it's heading into girlfriend territory.
Her birthday is coming up next week and I'll be taking her out to a nice restaurant. I'd really like to buy her some lingerie but not sure if it's too soon or if she'll be offended that I bought her a gift that could be seen as being "for the guy."
She has worn lingerie with me before (actually almost every time expect the first), and a couple weeks ago at a party, she was talking to a girlfriend about how victoria's secret is expensive and costs the same price as a dress (could this have been a hint).
I know her bra and pantie size and would probably show the salesgirl a picture so she sees her bodyshape. | seeing a girl for 1month, not yet official. Have been sleeping together the entire time and she does wear lingerie. Can I buy her lingerie for her birthday? |
t3_2aq4pb | jobs | Had two very promising interviews, was told I'd know by the end of the day today, but haven't heard anything... | I went in for an interview on Thursday, was told repeatedly that I had a stellar resume and seemed overqualified, but I made it clear that I would love the job and do my best at it and that I do not feel like it is beneath me in any aspect. Get called back for a second interview to meet with the owner of the firm, a partner, and another attorney (group interview), where they got to know me and I them on a more personable level. Again, I was told that I seemed like a very qualified candidate. The first interviewer emailed me later that night letting me know that the decision makers needed the weekend to think it over, and that I would know by the end of today (it is now 9PM).
During both interviews, there were lots of laugh, lots of conversation, and I was told by the girl being replaced that I seemed like a great fit. I met basically their whole team and had been given a tour of the office as well. What should be my next move? I'm considering getting into contact with them tomorrow morning. | Two great interviews, all signs point to very promising, was told I'd know by today but haven't heard anything yet. What are my options? |
t3_2474nd | relationship_advice | Me [25/m] and my fiancee [25/f] of 3 years just broke up. I am devastated. | My fiancee and I have had a serious rough patch these last 6 months. A lot of it has to do with built up resentment I had towards her not liking to spend time with my friends and her deciding on going to a Phd program many hours away (by car). We had many discussions and I said many things I ultimately didn't mean, but the damage had been done. I was initially hurt she wanted to go away, but eventually came around to wanting what was best for her and her career.
She also probably had some unrealistic expectations for me. I am a fairly chill guy and don't usually like to solve arguments (especially with my parents) by yelling but she never felt supported by me because I was too passive. She's such an independent person, I was just confused as to what she really needed in terms of support. Ultimately right now I feel like it was my resentment and anger that pushed her away, and I can't help but feel like it's my fault we're broken up. I just feel like I've lost my best friend and honestly don't know how I'm going to fill this huge hole in my life. I really wish she'll call me and say "Let's get back together!" And we will and everything will be great, but I don't think that's very realistic.
I made this throwaway account just so I don't always have to been connected to this sadness. | My fiancee and gf of 3 years broke up with me and I can't help but feel like it's all my fault. Any advice? |
t3_2h5hp3 | relationships | Me [21 F] with Roommates (21 F) Wants to let 3 girls move in with us for the first week of college. | Hello everyone,
First time posting here but need some advice on what to do. My two roommates and I have been living on campus for a year in a dorm with 3 rooms with an empty one which will be occupied by two new girls. The new roommates asked us if it's okay for there three friends to move in with us for a week and occupy our living room. The reason they are moving in is because they don't have a place to stay until the 1st of October (That's when they start there lease).
I don't know these girls and I'm a bit uncomfortable with having them move into our place for a week. As you can imagine it would be a bit hectic with 9 girls living in a three bedroom dorm and we only have two bathrooms right now. I actually just got a call from my other roommate telling me that they pretty much took up all our living room and we don't have any room in the kitchen to cook and so on... So my question to you guys is that is it wrong of me to say no even though they don't have a place to stay? Also how would I phrase this to the two new roommates? Am I overreacting because this is really stressing me out! | Two new roommates are moving in to our dorm and want to let there 3 friends spend the week in the living room until they get there place. How do I tell them it isn't okay? |
t3_2o88sk | relationships | Me [24F] with [28M] less than a year, If/When to disclose? | Throwaway for privacy, friends know my reddit account but not this part of my life.
Some background: I have been seeing this guy for awhile now. Things are going really well, and although nothing is "official", it is starting to get pretty serious and never in the course of our relationship have either of us seen other people. He recently purchased his first home, and made several comments about how great this is for us. We don't currently live together but I have a feeling it is headed in that direction.
Something we often talk about is the future, we are both comfortable in careers and self sufficient. We both seem eager to start that next chapter in life, and something we both want is a family.
Here's my dilemma... About two years ago towards the end of my previous relationship, there was an accidental pregnancy. Even though it was unexpected, I was thrilled. My ex did not feel the same way. I blame the stress of all the fighting, but only two weeks after finding out, I had a miscarriage. I hadn't even announced the pregnancy to anyone, so at the time I just decided it was best to keep the whole ordeal to myself. I felt guilty. I still do. And I've never told anyone about it, only my ex and my doctor know.
So my question is, if the guy I'm seeing now turns out to be 'the one' is my miscarriage something I should disclose to him? If so, when?
If anyone has been through this or something similar, I'd really appreciate some guidance. I mean if we do plan on starting a family together, I think it's only fair he should know but I have no idea how to approach it, or if it is even necessary to. | Had a miscarriage two years ago, in a new relationship that is getting serious fast and I'm unsure if/when I should tell him about my past. |
t3_1pu6tt | tifu | TIFU by not paying attention during the SAT | It was so ridiculous that I still don't quite know what to think about it. I was taking the SAT, doing well, confident in the essay that I wrote, yada yada. Well, we went out for break and per the proctors instruction, I slipped my answer packet into the test booklet. I slipped it in to section 3 because, well, that was the next section and I was just kind of on autopilot because I was stressed about doing my best.
We get back from break and the proctor instructs us to open up our answer packets and, if you haven't taken the SAT, there's a part where you need to write in script about how 'this is your work and no one elses'. So, I flip open to the answer packet and I'm doing my best to remember how to do cursive. As I'm writing, the proctor says in a stern voice "EXCUSE ME, is your test book open?" I realize she's talking to me. I apologize profusely, trying to explain myself, but she's having none of it. I close the test booklet and tell myself to get my act together and pay attention.
I was shaking from her yelling out to me. I simply was under so much stress that I was having a hard time processing it. Trying to calm myself down and finish with the cursive, I heard the proctor say 'section 3'. I assumed we were starting section 3, so in my autopilot mode I flip it open again. The proctor lost it, wondering 'how stupid' I could be. I was honestly wondering the same thing, too. There was another kid who didn't understand as well, and she both reported us to her supervisor. The supervisor informed us that our scores would most likely be canceled because we could've been cheating.
I finished section 3, excused myself, and canceled my scores. I signed myself up for the December one, but if I mess up on that one then I can't go to college. So basically because I was so nervous, stressed out, and auto pilot about doing well, I did the exact opposite. | Wasn't paying attention. Had the test booklet open when I wasn't supposed to, accused of cheating, had to cancel the scores of a test I've been studying a good amount for. |
t3_t80ja | AskReddit | Did my childhood abuse cause my body to reject food? | First of all: Female, 19, 5'11", 141lbs.
I was abused from ages 4 to 9. If I was fed I was given either 2 slimy okra pods, a cup of lima beans, a corn dog, or chicken broth. I would often go 2-3 days without food, and longer without water.
After my abuser left, I was fed copious amounts of food in order to gain weight. I could easily slip my entire body through a wire hanger, and in less than a year I had put on so much weight that I was wearing a girls size 12. I remained plump until I was 13.
At age 14 I began to notice that it was difficult to hold down food. I would throw up a little bit at a time ~30 minutes after ingesting a meal. 80% of the time the entire meal would come back up. At first, it would only happen after a regular-sized meal. Eventually drinking 16oz of water too quickly would cause it to happen. I started eating less and less to avoid "spitting up".
I have been seen by two different doctors and neither were able to figure out what my problem was. I have had an ultrasound, an IVP, and an upper GI (barium swallow). One doctor thinks the sphincter in my lower esophagus doesn't properly shut, but none of the results from my tests supported this. After two years of testing and medication that failed my family gave up.
To this day I spit up. I'm concerned about my entire esophagus being exposed to so much stomach acid. I absolutely hate that this happens. It's embarrassing, it's repulsive, and I know it's destroying my body.
Is this a side effect brought about by the abuse? If not, what might it be? | I was grossly underfed as a child and have had trouble keeping food down for the past 4 and a half years. Are the two linked? If not, any ideas as to what is wrong? |
t3_2pw7dx | relationships | Me [18 M] dumped by girlfriend [18 F] of 2.5 years because she couldn't be bothered | So my long term girlfriend went to university this September meaning we'd been trying long distance. However it was immediately obvious to me she didn't want to make time for me anymore and she would constantly miss arranged Skype tomes, wouldn't reply to my texts for hours on end, and just in general seemed very disinterested in me. At first I gave her some leeway as I knew she'd be very busy at university but this kept up and I eventually confronted her about it. She said she felt really bad and would change.
She didn't. 3 months into her university I come to visit her for the second time feeling expectant that either she would break up with me or I would tell her I didn't want to be in a one sided relationship and break up with her. When I told her my feelings she admitted that she wasn't sure what she wanted and we spoke for hours. I ended up leaving early and we decided to take a break for 3 weeks until she came home for Christmas.
At the end of those 3 weeks we meet up and, as I expected she breaks up with me. However she said a few things that at the time I glossed over because I was trying to keep calm for her sake (she was in tears and I still love her). She was saying she still loved me but doesn't miss me when we aren't together and I let her.
Now, a week after and having had time to further process everything, for the first time I'm feeling angry. When we spoke I just kept putting her in front of myself and trying to make her happy, and now all I want to do is see her and shout at her to get everything off my chest. Would this be wise? Will I feel better or will I just feel like a dick for getting angry. I don't know if it'd be better to talk to her about it or just keep it in, but when we were talking I didn't get very emotional at all and I'm now regretting that.
P.s. I know I'm young and I'll meet other girls, so I'm not lamenting the loss of my one true love or anything like that, but I do feel taken advantage of. | got dumped because girlfriend of 2.5 years couldn't be bothered for long distance, kept calm when we discussed it but now want to see her again to get angry and emotional. Should I or is this a dick move? |
t3_3gf3m3 | relationships | I [21M] am a new grad. Offered a great job by a company - that spot has filled and now they're offering me something else. Am I stupid to decline? | I'm a new-grad nurse. I write for my full license mid September, but have a temporary license to practice now. The company I completed my consolidation (450 free hours of work) at offered me a job as a community nurse. Great job, only work 4 days a week, great money, and I loved what I did. The hiring manager told me to talk to her when she's back from vacation in a week.
Fast forward a week and she says she no longer needs me for that job - the person I was going to fill in for decided not to leave. She then offered me a job as a shift nurse - I'll be working palliative and pediatrics (the two areas I dislike the most). The hours will suck (nights), the shifts will be boring, and I likely won't get to practice my skillsets. I'll essentially be supervising overnight (sitting around doing nothing, administering an injection every 2 hours). The pay will be less too - not sure what it will be yet but I'm calling in to ask logistics tomorrow. My interview is Thursday, however the manager said it's just a formality and the job is mine if I want it.
I'm torn on what to do. I don't like the job... but it's a job (that pays much more than minimum wage, yet lower than other jobs I'm applicable for). It may eventually lead into community nursing, which I already know I love. On the other hand, I have a few connections at a long-term care facility. Boring work, but I'll be making considerably more money. Because I only have my temporary license, a lot of places are more reluctant to hire me. That's why I'm so torn on whether to take it or not - I don't want to be unemployed for another 1-2 months. What would you do? | New-grad. Offered a job I don't think I'll like. Feel bratty turning it down because it's a job. What would you do? |
t3_3jw1nz | relationships | I [21/M] suspect that my girlfriend of 8 months [21/F] is cheating on me. | This is possible that I'm a little bit overreacting at this moment, but it feels so obvious when you don't think about it that much.
My gf and I are really close, we've definitely considered getting serious and see each other about every other day or weekend. This weekend she said she'd went camping with her BFF. I trust her, so I was like "okay!".
Later that night, I go on facebook to check if there's anything cool and new, and boom - I noticed her BFF was online. "That's odd" I thought, she was suppose to be camping with my girlfriend.
I messaged her and asked her what's up, and I said "haha aren't you camping with x?". She had no idea where my girlfriend was. She said that she might be at some role play camping event.
This is where shit got weird. She isn't able to use her phone due to "no signal" in the campsite. So she hasn't talked to me yet. This morning though, she did manage to get online on facebook enough to just friend some random guy (it appeared on my timeline).
I was like huh she must be home early. I then called her. I heard a pickup and then it hung up.
I don't know how to approach or think or whatever tbh. This is like my first real relationship, and I can't believe this is happening to me, and I don't know how to confront her without sounding like I'm suspecting her of something, even though I am. | Girlfriend is missing "camping" with her friend, but her friend doesn't know where she is, appears online a day later to friend some guy on fb. |
t3_2rxxo3 | relationships | My (28f) husband (33m) got a new credit card with a decently high limit without talking to me, still hasn't told me about it | I'll try to keep this short and sweet, as my title really explains most of it. My husband (in a month), been together 2 years, has repeatedly told me he considers taking out a credit card in case of emergencies is a terrible idea, and has said to me that at he flatly refuses to do so. I suggested it at all because he has excellent credit, and mine is extremely poor due to my son's dad. We make excellent money and I'm not concerned about day to day living or attempting to spend a ton of money irresponsibly. We've argued over this multiple times.
When I logged on to our laptop to check my email this morning, his was logged in, and I saw that he had applied for, and been approved for, a credit card with a $5000 limit. He has not said anything to me regarding applying or being approved for the card. His family comes from money and don't necessary adore me, and I am not sure whether or not they suggested this to him (and this might be an irrational paranoia or thought of mine), and obviously, as I've been recommending we do this for some time, I am not upset about the card. I'm upset about marrying a man who could potentially be putting me five thousand dollars in debt without my knowledge, and that he seems to be keeping this all from me.
We're not the sort of people who typically have secrets. I want to reiterate that I was not intentionally snooping through anything, as he has my trust 100%. I don't know how to approach this aubject, of if I even should. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you! | hubby to be went and got a credit card and seems to be keeping that fact from me, what should I do? |
t3_1bqg9b | relationships | M17 and F17 - relationship not the same. Need advice. | I've known this girl for about 7 months about 2 months ago I liked her and she liked me. At first we were just friends but then it got a little more serious. We weren't In a relationship yet but it was very close. I said something one morning that really pissed her off but all it was was just a miscommunication. So that ended us from talking for about 2 weeks. About 3 days ago we finally started talking again. Yesterday I asked her if she wanted to Hang out and she replied with, "why". That's it nothing else. This really confused me and kinda made me sad because I do still have alot of feelings for her. She knows I do but what else can I do? Do I confront her about us not being the same as before? Just need some friendly advice thanks. | me and this girl were very close, stopped talking for two weeks from miscommunication. Started talking again but relationship is not the same. |
t3_3qqnlo | relationships | I [20 M] suspect my roommate [20 M/F] of cutting himself with my electric razor. | As context, We all live on college housing. My roommate hasn't been the most emotionally stable of people at his first time in college. He's been having relationship problems, skipped a lot of classes, had troubles with my two housemates, etc.
About a week ago I bought a new electric razor, and about a week ago I saw blood stains on his bed sheets. I didn't think to connect the two. Just today I caught him using my razor without my permission. They were his hairs on it, but after seeing him walk out with could've been atleast twenty cuts on his arms I decided to investigate the sink. Honestly, its a dirty sink but I did think I saw a blood stained toilet paper. | Roommate used my razor without permission, saw a lot of somewhat fresh cut marks on his arms. I believe he's been using my razor for it. |
t3_3u0e25 | relationships | I [23/F] want to tell my strict dad [50s/M] about my interracial relationship | I have been with my SO [24/M] on and off for the past 4 years almost. We have had a lot of ups and downs and have broken up a couple times. A lot of it came from stress we both felt in the relationship because I have had to hide him from my family. They are very traditional italian immigrants and are pretty unaccepting of other cultures/races and he is black.
We both wanted to wait until we were graduated/working to come out and tell my family because my dad pays for my school/life. I did not want him to threaten to take that away from me and use it against me not to be with my bf. But it just makes seeing each other so hard and it really hurts my boyfriend. I dont like how he feels so ashamed of his race for no reason. It really tears me up inside. My father isn't racist, but he just has assumptions about races and would prefer me to be with someone white/italian.
I dont know if I should wait, or approach this soon because I really just would want my boyfriend and dad to meet because I know they would get along. Growing up italian you are instilled with a lot of guilt, shame and fear and I dont want to live like this anymore. I want to be proud of my relationship and not have anxiety whenever I am with my boyfriend. I also want to do right by my man and not make him feel like a dirty secret. | Dont know how to tell my strict, conservative dad about the 4 year "interracial" relationship I've been in |
t3_3j5a58 | jobs | In a rut; found unlikely career lesson in Star Wars. | A little background: I'm 27, got my first "real job" about a year and a half ago. Recently I've hit a rut. I'm work in an advertising agency as account coordinator where I act as a minion to my Account Exec and my team lead. Minimal client exposure, maximum administrative work like budgeting and vendor relations.
I really enjoy my job, but I'm anxious to move up the ladder. I did freelance social media work before landing my current position, so I'm experienced in building client relationships. However, i'm not seeing much faith from my higher-ups and it's getting to me.
This weekend my fiancé and I were watching Star Wars: Episodes III and I really related with Anakin's frustrations toward the council and his mentor, Obi Wan. He wanted to be a Jedi Master, but the council was hesitant to thrust him into a position of power. However, looking at his situation as an outsider I found myself thinking, "Dude, chill out. They have faith in you. Just be patient and the pieces will fall into place. You have potential but you're young and still a bit green." That's when I started to connect the dots. It hit me that I, too, am being a whiny kid who is too eager to prove himself. Like a Jedi, I have to be patient. Just because we aren't quick to climb the ladder doesn't mean we won't be great one day. Live in the moment and absorb all the information you can. Because one day you WILL be in charge and you'll only have experience to go off. | I'm a nerd. Impatience leads to anger, which was Anakin's downfall. Watching the chain of events in episode III made me aware of my own shortcomings. |
t3_153mvc | AskReddit | Reddit, how do you feel about fact checking other people on Facebook, Twitter, etc? | Example to illustrate: A Facebook friend just posted a status detailing a "statement" Ben Stein gave about the true meaning of Christmas in response to the White House renaming the Christmas trees "Holiday trees" or something or other. A quick check on Snopes shows that it's old and has been embellished to the point where the original points made by Stein are no longer the point of the post. Normally, I just quickly gloss over these things. No big deal, right?
And then I see the numerous "likes" and agreeing comments. I have to confess, I get irked. So without harsh commentary or anything of the sort, I simply added a link to the Snopes article as a comment.
So did I just become "that guy?" I don't want other people to be misled and blindly sharing false information, but I don't want to appear as a self-congratulatory douchebag, either. How do you guys normally respond to this situation? | Annoying chain letter posted by friend on FB, I commented with link to Snopes disproving it, would you do the same? |
t3_1nmota | tifu | TIFU: By hitting a curb with my driving instructors car during an exam and forgetting to tell him | So I had my driving test today and long story short, I failed because of a left hand turn. Anyways, during the test, I was making a 3-point turn but hit the curb with the hubcap. The examiner told me I didn't fail the test because of that but, I was so thrown off after that, I pretty much bombed the test, and afterwards when I told my instructor that I failed, he drove me home and that was it. I realized afterwards that I forgot to tell him what I did when I looked at my phone later in the day and he left me a voicemail telling me to call him back. I'm pretty scared to call him back because I think he's gonna accuse me of purposefully not telling him, plus my father thinks I don't need the instructor's car anyways for my next attempt at the test. FUCK maybe it's not too big of a fuck up but I feel pretty ashamed. | Today I failed my driving test, then forgot about the curb I hit with the hubcap of instructor's car, and failed to tell him. |
t3_2wlqix | relationship_advice | When's the right time for me [M/15] to ask her [F/15] out? | There's a girl that I really like and I'm meeting tomorrow. We've only met twice in real life: the first time was at a party and the second was alone for lunch but we've spoken a lot of Facebook etc. The last time I saw her was just over a month ago and so far both of the times we've arranged to meet the word "date" has never once been mentioned. I've never had a proper relationship so I don't know how to go about this so I'm not sure when the right time is to ask her out on a date properly or whether I should ask her to be my girlfriend. | No experience in relationships, not sure how long to wait until I ask her out properly or just ask her to be my girlfriend straight away. |
t3_4paml8 | personalfinance | How much should I be saving for retirement/can I afford to take a vacation this year? | I'm 33.
Right after college, I had a fairly well-paying job and a very low-cost living situation and I was contributing about 10% of my income to my 401k, plus maxing out my Roth IRA contributions at $5000ish.
After three years of this, I went overseas to teach English and was no longer legally allowed to contribute to US retirement accounts.
On my return three years ago, I took a fairly low-paying job but was able to max out my Roth IRA contributions from savings each year. That savings is dwindling. Employer 403(b) matching became a thing about a year and a half ago. I recently upped my income a bit (just a bit) and am contributing 10% to my 403(b) plus 3% matching from my employer.
I feel like I "should" also continue to put $5500 a year into my IRA, but I simply can't afford that. Including my 403(b) contributions, that's more than a quarter of my salary which isn't high to begin with.
I live pretty frugally (but pay more than I could on housing by living alone), don't have a car, don't go out to eat much. What I like to spend money on is travel, and I try to take a couple of weeks every winter to go someplace warm. I've been able to do this the last few years because of savings from my teaching abroad, but again I can't keep doing that. I'm thinking of a trip to Ecuador this winter for about $1,500 but I'm feeling a little guilty about it.
I just have no concept of what is an acceptable amount to save. I know lots of people save less than me as a percentage, but my income is fairly low. | I'm contributing 13% to a retirement plan (including employer match.) Would it be irresponsible to take a $1,500 vacation and not contribute to my IRA this year? |
t3_3l2qu3 | relationships | I [30F] targeted for teasing at work, hits a mental health nerve | I haven't had a nice, peaceful life and I am very anxious and always observant for danger, escapes, and things out of routine. I can't turn it off. So much as a meeting invitation with no agenda will cause me to worry excessively to the point where it impacts my work performance, all day. I work at a nice, peaceful cube farm as a secretary.
Bill [35M], isn't my boss but the topic of paranoia came up and jokingly asked me questions about my level of paranoia and I answered under peer pressure. I am _kicking_ myself right now. Bill is the type of person who likes to tease and press buttons for other people's reactions and does so often.
I get that teasing happens, everyone teases, no big deal. But I am deeply worried and now paranoid that Bill will start to find ways to trigger my paranoia on purpose for the same button-pressing reactions he does elsewhere, because it is so easy to do. I am worried that this will escalate and HR will have to become involved. I am also worried because the place where I work is a World Health Organization and they just launched an initiative for coworkers to improve heath / be healthy that we all took mandatorily. I don't want Bill to get in trouble.
I really love this job, Bill is not a cruel person, but this is his nature. To some extent Bill is has been teasing me before this by purposefully acting suspicious, etc, to garner my reactions of concern/confusion/wariness. That's harmless and I honestly don't care.
I am getting help from a professional for my issues. | A boss found a shiny big red button; already pressing related buttons, worried they will press this one too. Advice, please? |
t3_49ud8f | relationships | Me [28 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] , 1 year, how to let go gracefully and what can one learn from this relationship? | I know a guy isn't good for me, it just hasn't been working out no matter what we do. I keep trying to fix things to make it work because he gets annoyed/angry at me constantly. So I keep trying to figure out how to make it stop and analyzing like crazy. I'm having all sorts of health issues because of it.
But each time I'm crying thinking of breaking up with him, I think I have so many people to go to for support. He doesn't. He doesn't trust his friends, said nobody has ever really been there for him. I think his mindset is what causes all our issues in the first place. Everytime I try to show him, he somehow logically is able to make me think, hey maybe it's me that's triggering his anger? Then I get into a crazy cycle of analyzing again and trying to fix things.
Whatever it is doesn't really matter anymore. It doesn't matter whose fault it is. But it breaks my heart to think of him suffering alone. Even if he truly was a jerk, it'll still break my heart to see him suffer and I'd like to be there for him.
What can I do to move on? I know I love myself, or at least I did. I look into the mirror and thought you can't do this anymore, you're going to end up dying over a man, which is pathetic. I feel pathetic.
How do I stop? Can you give me solutions where I can care for him without jeopardizing myself? As a friend etc? I'm shit at breaking up and letting go. How do you even do it? Thanks! (also, if you think I have issues based on this, like Codependency or low self esteem, just let me know, I'd like to be aware and do something about it if so - my relationship keep failing, it all seems the men I date have issues even though I've examined very carefully to make sure I'm not being unreasonable) | relationship not working out, but I want to care for both his well being and mine. Please give me solutions on how to do this. |
t3_3f8ntb | relationships | It seems like my partner [M 28] doesn't want to be with me [F 21] anymore, even though he says he does? | I've been seeing this guy at least once a week for ~a year now. Suddenly, we didn't meet up for 3 weeks and I called him and told him if he doesn't want to hang out with me anymore, he can just tell me and I'll leave him alone. He said he's just been swamped with work and he would never just leave me hanging. Then, we made plans and met up the next day. I haven't seen/heard from him again the past 2 weeks. I just sent him a message saying I was thinking about him (sexually..) and the only reply I got back was "Lol. Me 2." It really seems like he doesn't want to spend time with me anymore. | It seems like this guy doesn't want to spend time with me anymore, even though he says he does. Should I give up and move on? |
t3_3uvy10 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my girlfriend [24 F] two months, the 'anniversary' of her abortion is coming up, not sure what to do. | This Friday marks the two year date since my girlfriend had an abortion. Last year was hard for her, and she expects this year to be as well. Expressing to me that she didn't want to be alone for it, I took the day off of work in order to spend time with her.
I guess I'm just looking for advice as to how to spend this day with her. Would it be too much to play something kind of fun or nice to do? Does it make sense to try to help take her mind off of it, or is that trivializing? Should I just ask her what she would like? | 'Anniversary' date of gf's abortion coming up, difficult day for her, not sure how to spend it. |
t3_2ybkih | AskDocs | [Serious] I'm rocking narcissism. I don't want it, so where to from here? | Diagnosed, 24f - If we were going off of DSM-IV I'd have 7 of the 9 narcissistic traits.
I've come to the realisation that only will addressing this help me phase out of my inherent empty, anxious and unfulfilled state, which has been grinding me down for years.
However, there is very little help advertised for narcissists, very few to none experienced professionals, very little research done on how to help us - relative to that which is done for other personality disorders.
*Presumably because theres a diminished market for it*, it's likely few narcissists realise the futile nature of their state, at least in establishing any form of stable fulfilment or happiness.
Narcissism from what I've heard is rarely thought to be treatable, at least under this idea of attaining any significant degree of difference.
Being a general consensus that I don't hold to (as its just a condition yet to be adequately explored), I believe there should still be some mobility in me establishing change, and in this I ask if any of you have any experience or familiarity with this field.
I would be grateful for suggestions of how it is I might attempt to restructure how I see and approach the world.
^ | ^- ^I ^am ^looking ^for ^informed ^suggestions ^of ^how ^to ^possibly ^ease ^out ^of ^narcissistic ^personality ^disorder |
t3_3nj8cy | relationships | [23M] I Proposed Last Week but Didn't Get Father's Permission, now what? | I'll try to be as quick as possible. Her parents have been extremely rude about a lot of things in our relationship of 5 years. Over time I have made progress with her dad and he thinks a lot of me. Her mom is just a huge B**** though and I still think of them as one entity. A couple weeks ago, when I was planning to propose, her mom said a lot of hateful stuff. As a result I basically said fuck'em and didn't ask for his blessing to propose. Now, she went to visit them and show them the ring and he left for the weekend so he wouldn't have to see her. She said he sounded upset on the phone like he was really disappointed in me. Not mad, just disappointed.
I now realize I fucked up but since I can't turn back time, I would like to call him and talk to him about it. What should I say?? | I proposed without her Dad's blessing because her mom was being a huge B, and now I regret it because her dad actually likes me. What should I say when I call him? |
t3_3b6pmh | relationships | My [23 M] girlfriend [21 F] cheated on me and i forgave her, but cant forgive herself. | Soooo. Let's call her Katie. I discovered that Katie had been cheating on me for a month. It was a messy few days following, but we spent hours on Skype talking about what has happened, why, and I ended up forgiving her because I honestly do understand how it happened. And we love each. I don't want to hold it against her at all, it's a mistake but I want to move forward and work towards what we once were.
Katie though, she has some social issues. And selective mutism (look it up, hard to explain. Involves going silent and panicked during stressful events) Katie hates herself for what she has done. She has no idea how to forgive herself. We aren't together right now, we're friends technically as we try to rebuild the trust. She sent me this.
"I messed everything up.. right now I wish I could take everything back but I really fucked up and I do deserve to be hated.. I already hate myself and wish I wasn't such a fuck up.. I'm sorry.. I really didn't want to hurt you and I don't expect you to forgive me.. I feel sick to my stomach with guilt. I just want to be gone.. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you.. again, I don't expect to be forgiven.. I really am sorry [my name] I truly am.."
Now I know I'm the victim here but I love this girl and I can't stand to see her in such pain. We've told each other we love each other still, we'll never abandon each other, here for each other, miss each other etc etc. How can I help her to forgive herself so we can move forward and fix things? | My girlfriend cheated on me and I forgave her, but how can I help her forgive herself so we can resume and move forward in our relationship? |
t3_4c75yh | relationships | I [18 M] think I messed up a potential relationship with my first real crush [17 F] | I have never been in a romantic relationship and I have social anxiety so I don't know how to cope in these situations.
In January I started hanging out with a new group of friends who I met through a mutual friend of ours. Among these new friends was a girl who instantly caught my eye and over time would become a huge crush.
We often hung out but never just the two of us, just with other people from our group of friends. During easter break 4 of us (including the girl) started watching a tv-series together. We met up at my house at around 9 pm and we would watch tv until around 1/2 am. A few days before today I laid my head on her shoulder and kept it there for 2 or 3 episodes (just over 2 hours). Then last night I wanted to go a step further and I put my arm over her shoulder. I'll be honest, I have 0 experience in these matters and have no idea what I'm doing.
Then this morning, I get a message from one of the other people present saying that maybe I should talk to her. This is how the conversation went (slightly paraphrased, also translated)
Me: Hey, I just want to apologise if you felt uncomfortable last night. I'm just inexperienced and not sure what to do.
Her: It's fine, I just thought it was a little strange... And I want to be honest with you, I just want us to be friends.
Me: I understand. It's good that you let me know.
Her words impacted me greatly because over the past 2 years I have been looking for a potential partner, and when I finally thought I had one...
Now I don't know what to do. I've had crushes before but this feels more _strong?_ | I made friends with a girl who I **really** like. Should I move on or should I try to somehow win her affection? |
t3_skw5o | AskReddit | Correlation between increase of stupid people and the decline of breastfeeding? | Very recently, my first child was born. It's a learning process to becoming a parent, and during my search for parenting greatness, I came across some studies indicating that although the IQ is mostly correlated with the IQ of the parents, breastfeeding your child exclusively may positively impact the IQ of that child by about 5-10 points. 5-10 points is quite significant! Then a thought came upon me: I wonder what the breastfeeding rate is in this (United States) country?
CDC's 2011 Breastfeeding Report Card says that while 74.6% of mothers have EVER breastfed, only 35% of mothers exclusively breastfed until the third month, and only 14.8% of mothers into the sixth month. And so I came to the idea given in the thread title: Is there a correlation between increase of stupid people and the decline breastfeeding? What if everyone started regularly breastfeeding and produce smarter children, who in turn, became smarter adults? And what if the correlation between parents' IQ and child's wasn't JUST genetic, but also because smarter parents may actually be better parents (Or, at least, emphasize education more). If everyone started breastfeeding right now, would NASA return to its former glory in 20 years?
I'm not saying that parents who breastfeed their kids are necessarily better parents, or that smart people make the best parents. But smarter people, in my experience anyways, do tend to make better choices than those who aren't. So, what do you think, reddit? | Studies show that breastfeeding may increase IQ, but Americans don't breastfeed very much - leads to increase in stupid people, or at least people who could have been smarter. |
t3_emybh | AskReddit | Father was fired, signed a contract, need advice please. | Hi reddit, first and foremost thanks for reading, and Ill get right down to it:
My father was recently fired and made to sign a contract agreeing to his termination and such things as not slander the company/giving up rights to make any claims against the company or its representatives. Another clause was that he was not allowed to contact any of the CEO's etc. Well this was a few months ago and his boss sent her some small christmas gifts, my father wants to send a thank you email to his former boss but I warned him that this was against his release. He doesn't know much about law so he is assuming its ok if he contacts them/he wants to now sue them for contacting him because he's very upset about the gifts as he sees them as a sort of condescending act.
Any help would be appreciated. | Dad was fired, signed contract to not contact bosses, bosses sent gifts, dad wants to either send thank you email in hopes of getting job back or sue them for contacting him because he doesnt want their gifts |
t3_ex1cy | AskReddit | How do you not bring your work home with you? | Not literally, of course. My girlfriend has a stressful job working for a large pharmaceutical company. The money is good, and she is working on some promising cancer treatments, so there is an element of a rewarding feeling attached. However, due to the nature of the business, she is constantly stressed. When she comes home, she's contstantly thinking about what needs to be done the next day and the day after etc.
I'm trying to think of things she can do to get out of that nasty mind set.
DAE have any tried and true methods or ways to forget the stress of the day. alcohol and other substances aren't an option. | my girlfiriend stresses her tits off at home due to work. I need a way for her to not give a shit when she's not at work |
t3_3f4snc | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Gf [20 F] for about a year, she hates it when I talk to other girls, and is considering taking a break. | My girlfriend and I met in college, she was a first year while I was on my second one. We instantly clicked but never really called it dating until couple months into the relationship, we did everything together and hung out all the time.
She took the second semester off because she was struggling, during this time I started to meet other people some girls, some guys. Full discretion I did cheat on her with one girl during holiday march break, but I was on acid so its okay.
One day she came into my house unannounced, my room mate let her in. She walked in to my room to drop off some food she made me and saw me cuddling with these two girls watching mean girls. She left furiously but I tried to explain to her that they know I'm with her and are only okay about it because I'm with her.
I really do love her, and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I think she needs to get more comfortable about me being around more women, not sure what to do. | My girlfriend hates me because I enjoy being around other women and thinks I would sleep with them if I wasn't with her. |
t3_3d40t0 | relationships | Is my [22F] husband [25M] putting his brother over me? | To start off I am a foreigner living in my Husbands country, 90% of the population speaks english, and I am working on learning their language.
So far my husbands family has been welcoming, besides some strange mostly cultural differences (like when we got our apartment his mother gave us an old cooking supply but demanded we pay 100$ for it even thought it has been sitting in her basement for years). But whatever, not a big deal, I at least now won´t feel bad not giving anything for Christmas. As before I had gone out of my way to always find something nice to give them for occasions, and it was never reciprocated.
Now his brother is one of those 'I wear swastica t shirts for the shock factor, tattoo´d my forehead, etc..' Whatever it´s his life. If we ever have a kid he better not wear one of those shirts around it.
Anyway, his brother speaks perfect english, he has many foreign friends and has no problem keeping it in english around them. Yet around me the only words he can manage are 'hello' and then he turns straight to my husband and continues in their native language which I can not understand. Most of the time he won´t even look in my direction. I will be sitting next to my husband but he won´t look our way, even if they are talking. My husband and I have had a few fights about this, he doesn´t notice it as I do, and he is telling me I am over reacting, but will admit that his brother is an ass.
Now I have always put him above everyone else. I even have defended him to my mother and will not let any family gossip poorly around him. Yet it feels like He has no desire to put me first. Hell I even asked him last night what was more important, his family or me. He just told me I was being ridiculous and that he wouldn´t ever have to choose, because there would never be that situation. Is he putting his family over me? Or am I being irrational? | Husbands brother won´t look at me or speak english to me even though he speaks perfect english. Husband says he won´t choose who to put first. |
t3_etyvk | AskReddit | Help Reddit! My parents' home is being threatened by the bank | Ok, background info: I'm renting a housewith mates while I'm in school. My parents are separated but live in the same town, my father helps my mother with the bills when he can, he is on Disablement. My mother still lives in the housewith my sisters but my father rents a room close by, she works part time while looking for a full-time job after going back to school for her Master's degree.
Wells-Fargo has my parents in this program, there is a set amount they are asked to pay each month, which they have been doing for the past year. Each month, Wells-Fargo (WF from now on, k) sends a letter stating my parents have been kicked out of the house and out of this 'program' and they have to submit another applciation to re-enter said program. WF keeps stating my parents are kicked out of the program due to the low income and they don't think my mother will be able to keep paying (even though they've been paying the bills...).
My father has tried to create an uproar, contacting our state representative, some radio station that was doing a piece about it, and other people. None of which has been able to get WF off my parents back. They're in danger of losing the house I grew up in for my entire life, just hoping there are some people out there who have had similar situations that ended well. Anyone we can contact that we haven't yet? Any suggestions? | my parents are in danger of being kicked out of their home by the bank even though the bills have kept being paid. suggestions? |
t3_sp1p0 | AskReddit | They say bad things happen in 3's. Has that ever happened to you? I'll start. | I've always heard bad things happen in 3's. That has been the case for my family. Almost one year ago my wife got in a wreck on her way to work one morning and broke both her legs. She was lucky to survive but that was the beginning of our bad luck.
New Years Eve we were planning on having a big party with friends and family at our house. We had oysters to steam and alll kinds of meats to grill. My wife was at the grocery store picking up some last minute supplies and our daughter was at my parents (who live right beside us) and I was at home cleaning. My parents bought us a new vacuum for Christmas and I was using it when I smelled something burning. At first I thought it was the vaccum since it was new but my thoughts quickly changed when I noticed a haze in the room. I turned off the vaccum and realized what was happening. Smoke was coming from the attic. I grabbed my cell phone and ran outside. Looking back in the windows I saw the flames. We live out in the country so by the time the fire fighters got there, too late.
I had been having back problems for the past few years. I finally went to the doctor not long after our house burned. Turns out I had a ruptured disc that was rubbing against my sciatic nerve. I had surgery last week and was doing better. Today I must have done something wrong because I am in severe pain again. Things have to get better for us. What's your stories? | 1. Wife in wreck, broke both legs 2. House burned down New Years Eve, we lost all 3. I just had back surgery, was doing better but am back in pain now |
t3_1jxihq | relationship_advice | [19/F] is in a relationship but also in love with another man. [both 19/M] | So to start out, I have been in a 2 1/2 year long relationship with a man named G. We have had a long, amazing relationship, but lately just feeling confined. Like I can't be myself, like he only really loves who he thinks I am. And he's a little bit of an asshole as well. I went down to my hometown from where we live on August 4th. Once there, I went to see a man named C. I have known him for 8 years. I had been in love with him since we first met, but never got together because he didn't like me at first so I always beat him up as a kid. I went down because we shortly became friends. I went to say hello, gave him a birthday cake, and hung out. He joined me on my quest for Twinkies, and at the end of that day, he kissed me. Let me tell you, the feeling in my chest after that was so deep. Remember, I've loved this guy since 8 years back. After that it kind of continued on, and we had sex the next day, which was his birthday. Ad then hung out again the next day after that, also had sex again. Now I'm stuck. Because I love both G and C. And if I choose C, I won't have a phone, a place to stay. I lost my job 1 week ago, and C still lives with his parents. Neither G or C know each other, and C doesn't know that I lost my job. I'm not sure what to do. Could someone please give me advice? | I met the man I was in love with for 8 years and cheated with him, but love both him and current BF. |
t3_1oqo4g | offmychest | My wife and I were turned away with our 2 day old newborn from two hospitals today and we are both insured. | We had our first daughter on Tuesday and today we saw the pediatrician for our first visit. Our girl has a little jaundice, which is normal, but needs to be monitored. We were given a prescription to go to the hospital lab and have her checked. When we went to the hospital they turned us away because we didn't have our baby delivered there or were patients of the hospital's pediatrician. Mind you we have insurance and only needed lab work. Well, we figured we could go to the hospital where the baby was delivered. It is incredibly far from our house, but the only hospital where one can deliver with a midwife. So we pack the baby up after her lunchtime feeding and drive the hour and fifteen minutes across Miami to the other hospital. When we arrive there, they tell us they can't do it because we were already discharged. They won't take our insurance (United) just for lab work, unless of course we are admitted to the hospital. So, if this test was done yesterday at 5:30 it would have been 100% covered, but since it is 3:00 the next day they can't help us. Well, we call the insurance company and they want to send us back across town to get blood drawn from a lab. Only problem, the lab is already closed and when they go to make an appointment there is nothing available until next Wednesday. Our baby is 2 1/2 days old and they want us to wait 4+ days to get her checked. Our doctor ordered a STAT blood test and they want us to wait 4 days. With all the attention on the ACA this last couple weeks I want to fucking scream that none of that shit will fix a goddamn thing because this fucking healthcare system is totally fucked anyway. How and the hell do people who are insured get turned away and even more so, how is it possible they turn away caring for a newborn baby? WTF? | Newborn baby is ordered to get blood work immediately and is turned away by two hospitals and not helped by a lab because our healthcare system is fucked, even for insured people. |
t3_14nvdu | self | How would a (possibly temporary) change of focus affect my career? [programming/support, x-post from r/cscareerquestions] | Hey there!!!
I work for a big multinational, but I'm in a quite delicate position right now.
Instead of working on the main product of the company, I work on an add-on, which means our team has MANY restrictions on what it can do, and we spend most of our time studying a solution to deal with a 10-year-old structure instead of coding our solution itself. In other words, we have like 3 months of work to create a handful of classes which just take us like a week of work and alter what the standard software does.
Since I plan to move abroad, I think of it as a opportunity to change my career and move outside this company, but as that's going to take something between 2 or 3 years, I still have to work so I can pay for food, rent, internet and possibly a reddit gold account. :)
I thought of maybe going to a support position, where I'd drop my "20% development time" in favor of no development at all, but a broader experience (I always worked as a programmer), or, and that's way less likely, I could try to switch to a full-dev position in a project area. I would be paid about the same in both positions, but the support position is a much easier way to go and would give me some confort while I end my graduation, while waiting for a position to open in the full-dev area could have me losing more of my steam and having my results impacted. What would you suggest me? | I work as a programmer for a multinational and intend to move abroad and keep working in programmer positions. Would moving temporarily to a support position stigmatize my resume and make people less prone to hire me as a developer? |
t3_3gav9y | relationships | I (21 f) found out my boyfriend of 3 years (27 m) want to propose to me. I'm now dying from nerves | About a month ago I accidentally overheard my boyfriend tell his sister that he wants to propose to me sometime in the next few months. I'm really unhappy I heard because I've always wanted this to be kind of a surprise.
But, I found out and now I'm so excited but now I'm freaking out. My boyfriend told me he has a surprise for me on Monday and I think he might propose, but I'm worried he might not. What if he decided he doesn't want to after all? I almost want to tell him I overheard because I feel guilty keeping a secret from him anyways and the suspense is awful.
What should I do? Should I tell him I know? | I overheard my boyfriends proposal plans, and he has a surprise on Monday but I'm not sure I can stand the disappointment if its not the proposal |
t3_fg0eg | AskReddit | I am more relieved than I've ever been in my life. I'm an 18 year old male. My girlfriend and I just had a pregnancy scare. Any advice? | So my girlfriend and I (we're 17 and 18, respectively) haven't seen each other in about two weeks for various reasons. Her mom was supposed to get surgery last week, but didn't, and I knew that my girlfriend was really worried about that—whenever I talked to her she seemed really stressed. But I thought something else was up, too, because she's kept saying that she's doing terribly but that she didn't want to talk about it.
Yesterday I got a text from her saying that she really needed to talk to me and that I should call tonight. I figured at first that she just wanted to talk about all the shit she's been dealing with, with her mom and everything. Then it occurred to me that she could be pregnant. We've never had unprotected sex, but I was scared shitless all last night and through most of today. I'm only 18. My life would be ruined if she were pregnant and decided to keep it. I was freaking out this entire day, even though I didn't know for sure.
Sure enough, when I talked to her today she said that she felt like shit not long ago and went to the doctor. The doctor thought she was pregnant. She went to a specialist and had blood work done, stuff like that. It turns out she's not pregnant (thank god). I definitely dodged a bullet here. I still don't even know what to think. What's worse, I can't even see her for a couple days at the earliest. But either way, I'm so relieved.
Has anyone else gone through an experience like this? How have you dealt with it? | Never had unprotected sex with my girlfriend. She was sick, doctor thought she was pregnant. Turns out she isn't but I was scared shitless. Advice? |
t3_eteac | AskReddit | Need a final judgement on this: is it cool to date your friend's sister? | I'll try and keep it short:
* I have a very good friend, one that I've known for years (a guy)
* Our families are somewhat intertwined socially (they always invite us to family stuff, we invite them to our family stuff)
* I've recently taken notice of his younger sister. Previously, she just existed on the periphery of our social circle, and I'd see her for 5 mins at a time once every few months. The other day she was hanging out with us and looking great.
* She's been flirting with me via text message since that hangout the other day.
My question: is it cool to pursue her romantically? Part of me feels bad, since her brother is one of my very good friends...but another part of me thinks that she'd really like me (I'm an upstanding citizen, on-track with my life, etc...she could do a whole lot worse). | Good friend's sister is a hottie, has been flirting with me, but I don't know how to proceed tactfully like a man should. |
t3_1hvwfw | relationships | Stressing out about my [19/f] summer fling [19/m] need some advice | Alright, never posted to this sub but I've heard good advice and welcome ears are to be found, and I'm In need of both
So recently one of my friends came back from university for summer and was looking for a summer hook up. I was as well, and we were pretty close in highschool, so we started texting and then when she came home we hung out a bunch and hooked up
Fast foreword 3 weeks, a few more hookups, just chilling alone a few times and hanging out, getting the friends together whatever it may be, we hang out alot. Like pretty much every day. We get along really well and our personalities are great together, I haven't had this much fun in a long time.
The problem is I think I'm falling for this girl. Fuck it, I have fallen for her. All my life, I've had a huge heart. I fall in love waaayyy too easily and I can tell its happening. But she's going back to Denver (from Seattle) in the fall and neither of us have interest in a long distance relationship or any relationship at all for that matter.
So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't fall in love, she's leaving, but I want to continue what we have right now, a chillin relationship, a cuddle buddy, and a really good if not best friend.
But if things keep going how they are, I'm just gunna fall more and more and eventually go crazy from hiding my real feeling and what not. I'm looking for advice, anyone who's had a similar situation or can offer some perspective on where I can go for here. I just refereed to us as dating for the first time tonight and that freaked me out so much. If ive ever needed reddit to come through, now is the time. Thanks for your time reading this, and I hope someone out there has something for me | think I'm falling for a girl who's going back to school in fall and neither of us want a relationship, how can I go on and stay sane? |
t3_ucd72 | self | Reddit, this morning I was mistaken for a woman's daughter she had given up for adoption 13 years ago. At what moment in your life did you realize how thankful you were to be you? And also, Emily Urple, your mother loves you. | I was in line to pick up my refill for pain meds at pharmacy after having my wisdom teeth removed, and when my name was called out I noticed a lady watching me. As I collected my things she approached me and she asked to talk to me. She asked me if she had heard my name correctly, where I was from, if I had my wisdom teeth out recently (my lower cheeks are yellow from the bruising), then what my last name was. When I told her, she became embarrassed, looked down at her feet, apologized and explained that she had asked because I looked like what she hoped her daughter would look like.
She had given up her daughter for adoption as a teen 13 years ago and only knows her name and that she lives in this area. She said she was just starting to look for her, saw me, heard my name, thought I looked about 13 (I'm 21) and got excited. She apologized and told me if I ever come across Emily Urple, to tell her her mother loves her very much.
It just made me think how lucky I am to be be who I am, know who I am, where I'm from, what I'm doing. It just made me really thankful for who I am. | Was confused for woman's daughter she'd given up for adoption 13 years ago, made me think 'damn, I'm luck to be me,' and also |
t3_3t6ko3 | relationship_advice | I'm [20/M] not clear on what love is [20/F] | So basically dating this girl for about 18 months and I knew it was an unhealthy relationship as she wanted to control to many things so I wouldn't tell her about going out with friends, and she was really against smoking so I told her I would stop getting high but then would behind her back. We broke up about 3 months ago and she's been trying to get us back together the whole time, she now is okay with me getting stoned but still says she loves me and everything. I'm pretty certain I don't love her, only time I feel strong emotion for her is when I'm with her. My question is If someone loves you and even though all your flaws would want you to be the person they marry and make a life with, is that reason enough to love them back? | My question is " If someone loves you and even though all your flaws would want you to be the person they marry and make a life with, is that reason enough to love them back?" |
t3_4gkza9 | relationships | My (30 f) friend (32 m) is inviting my stalkerish ex to his wedding. If I don't attend, I risk losing said friend. Help! | One of my good friends (32 m) is getting married and has told me he is inviting my ex (32 m) to attend the wedding. We used to all be part of the same group of friends, but I went no contact with my ex over a year ago after he flipped out and began harassing me upon learning I was dating someone new.
By harassing, I mean he hacked into my FB, erased messages, contacted my new BF with threatening messages, showed up drunk at my apt uninvited, and sent hundreds of messages/calls even after I threatened to go to police. I even got his mom and a lawyer involved as the harassment lasted months and I constantly worried about running into him (we live in a small town). I also had to cut off a few mutual "friends" who turned out to be feeding him information about my whereabouts and my new guy.
So the question is: should I attend my friend's wedding? He already told he me expects to come to this special occasion and that he doesn't want the past to get in the way of me and my BF showing up. He got really upset when I hesitated in giving an answer immediately. But I just feel like the entire situation would be super awkward, and I'm worried seeing my ex would "trigger" him into a new obsessive frenzy (been told he still talks a lot about me).
What is the protocol in this kind of situation? I don't want to have to miss out on my friend's life because of my ex, but I also don't want to run into what could be an unpleasant situation. My friend is still friends with both of us. Is it a bad idea to go? And if I go, what should I do to avoid awkwardness? | Mutual friend invited my stalkerish ex to his wedding, not sure if I should attend, but worried it might jeopardize the friendship if I don't. Help! |
t3_38ba6b | personalfinance | Im pretty clueless about alot of these things but I have a goal, what should I do to get to that goal? | Right so right now im 19, im in college and I have 2 more years left in my program (Firefighter training). I work about 18 hours a week a 11$ an hour at a local store. (I also just recently starting flipping stuff from a thrift shop, ive made 30$ so far)
At the moment I have 425.86$ in my bank account. Im not making the most money but a goal that I have in life is to be a wealthy, I want to be able to get as much money as I can, however, im not sure how to go about doing it.
Im hoping that I can get to this point by having a passive income. What would be the best way of doing this? Ive always liked the idea of owning a business that can just make me side money (Ex. A commercial gym) or owning a house and renting it out. | I want to have a large amount of passive income, what are the best/most profitable ways of doing this, and how do I go about doing it? |
t3_4ah9l1 | relationships | Me [20F] pulled a prank on my BF [20M] fear and he has not talked to me in days | So my boyfriend has always been out going he is not really scared of much he can sky dive, he basically does what he pleases without fear getting too much in the way
he has had a fear of mirrors in the dark, I know it sounds weird but ever since I have known him if he knows there is a mirror in the room he turns the lights on first before entering the room
long story short when he was a child he had a mirror in his room and he told me that every couple of nights he would hear tapping coming from the mirror and it would not stop until he looked at it, he also swears he saw a woman standing in the mirror once looking at him that was in his room when he woke up in the middle of the night
he has been to psychologists and psychiatrists there is nothing seriously wrong with him mentally except a fear of mirrors in the dark.
I told my brother about this, who then told our friend and they decided to play a prank on him, I was in on it because I thought it would be funny.
he was sleeping over at my place and when he fell asleep my friends came over we quietly put a mirror in the room with a picture of a ghost woman sticky tapped to it and my friend John banged on the door to wake him up
long story short, he woke up and he saw the mirror with the girl and he screamed at the top of his lungs flipped out I mean he was scrambling to get out the bed the pushed past us in the door way and ran down stairs
when he went to go talk to him he was as white as a ghost, he was sweating, he was panting. We tried to explain to him it was a prank he told us all to go fuck ourself and he left
I have not heard from him in a couple of days he is not answering my calls, texts, face books messages nothing and I think I really fucked up this time
How can I repair the damage that has been done | Pulled a prank on my boyfriend who has a fear of mirrors in the dark, he flipped out and he has not talked to me in days how can I repair the damage |
t3_34ye29 | tifu | TIFU by closing a door. | This actually happened this afternoon. I live in Kuwait, and it was around 35 degrees Celsius today (Can't wait for summer). People also tend to be assholes (bonus douchebaggery for high school), and everyone picks on this one kid in my class, let's call him Ned.
So at school, on the last floor, we have a single activities room with access to the roof, however the door to the rooftop is generally kept closed. Today, the door was open and the devilish heat was creeping in. I closed the door. I fucked up.
Apparently Ned was out there, and the shitty door's handles were broken on either side. Ned, someone who I've seen get bullied nearly daily without saying a word goes full on Hulk mode because apparently he was fed up with everyone being dicks. The door was a cheap aluminum frame with 3 thin vertical glass panels with some steel mesh support thingy inside them. Ned shoulder barges the door and cracks the middle panel. Ned demands to know "which piece of shit locked him out", and everyone rats me out. Ned starts making death threats. I genuinely fear for my life. I put my face near the door and tell him to calm down and that we sent for the Vice Principal to bring the key to the door. Ned punches the panel near my face, spraying a negligible amount of glass into my face, apparently he was still upset and I was of no consolation. I fear for my life even more. One of Ned's friends asks me what the fuck is wrong with me and why I'd do something like that to him. Apparently it was also Ned's birthday.
Fastforward a bit and Ned is let out through another rooftop door, I make my self scarce. I get called for by my class' coordinator to discuss what happened. Ned got told off for being on the rooftop in the first place and was also told he had to watch his temper. Ned has detention tomorrow. I fear that the worst has yet to come. | I innocently closed a door, now I have a guy who wants to kill me in what I can only assume to be pretty gruesome ways. |
t3_2w1w5i | Dogtraining | IS MY DOG UNSOCIABLE?? DOESNT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL CUES? | I have Maltese shihtzu, and I frequent the dog park with him. He is not afraid of big dogs, or small dogs, or dog fights, heck, sometimes, he starts the fight (I think. The other dog is usually all up in his business and my dog snaps at the other dog. Sometimes the other dog goes away, sometimes not. Is this healthy?).
Anyways.
I find he almost never plays with another dog, or when he does, the other dog doesn't want to play but is 'scurrying' away with sometimes it's tail tucked. This commonly happens with females but males also. Earlier today, a male shihtzu wanted to play with my dog so bad the other dog was in a play bow and whining for him to play, following him everywhere. Why does my dog not play with him and or other dogs? I know my dog does a play bow when he wants to play as when he brings me a toy, he does a bow. does he not know how to play? | dog doesnt play with other dogs even if the other dog wants to play. Healthy? What should I do? I sort of want him to play with other dogs in hopes he might improve his socializing. |
t3_116lk5 | relationships | f[19] My SO m[20] wants to hang out with a girl he has dated previously. Do I have grounds to be upset? | I've been in an on and off relationship for going on three years now. Tonight, he said he was going with his roommate to hang out with two girls. Let's call them Lisa and Amy. Back a few months ago when we were broken up, he started talking to his friend Amy's good friend Lisa. They talked for awhile and he took her out on a date. According to him, things went great, but afterwards she acted like a "bitch." So that didn't work out.
Flash forward to today, he says "[my roommate] and I are going to drink and hang out with Amy and Lisa tonight." Now, he's hung out with them before, but now that we're for all intents and purposes together again, I let him know that it bothered me. I asked if he would be upset if I hung out with a guy that I talked to for a couple of weeks while we were broken up. He replied that it was different because that other guy and I were talking for two weeks and he only took Lisa out once. We argued because he said I didn't trust him, to which I replied that it wasn't about trust, I felt it was more about mutual respect. He then goes onto say that he hasn't even spoken to Lisa in months. But I don't understand why then he didn't say, "hey we're going to hang out with Amy, but Lisa is probably going to be there too." if he hasn't talked to her. So, I have a couple of questions:
Should I be concerned? Is he right and am I just "being extremely difficult," for expressing my unease?
I need an honest, unbiased opinion. I figured Reddit was the best place to go. | SO is going to hang out with a girl he dated previously tonight, but admitted that if the roles were reversed, he would be upset. Should I be? |
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