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t3_fjkyv | AskReddit | got drunk with some co-workers.... dilemma | ok, so here is the story; went out with co workers to drink last night; we had A LOT - mostly pitchers; one girl from work had nothing but vodka all night; when she was leaving; already drunk i walk her to her car; her mom is on her way to get her and i say lets go sit in my car to wait for her. when were in my truck we start fooling around; shes on top of me; kissing me; my neck; her pants are halfway down.... were fooling around a lot (both of us stupid drunk) but NO SEX happened. Her mom arrives and she gets out to go with her; she didnt see that we were together in there i dont think but she was pissed with her about her being so drunk..... so today; new day at work; feel like shit; hungover; apparently she barely remembers what happened and i happened to see that she was chatting with someone telling them what happened and in her telling the story she says i took her to the car and she was telling me no and that i wouldnt listen (THIS IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED) and she had to push herself off etc. so shes thinking me and other co workers maybe slipped her something IDK.......... i talked to her and to ME she says shes fine; and were ok; not to worry; BUT FUCK - I feel like shit for her thinking that when thats not how it went down..... | got stupid drunk with a co worker; fooled around in car; today she tells others that i 'forced' her to fool around.... HELP ME REDDIT!!! |
t3_1eycya | relationship_advice | How do I [17/f] friend-zone a guy (18/m) without being an awful person? | So there's a guy at my school that I'm kind of friends with, and I've known him for about a year. He asked me to all the school dances, and I went with him because I didn't want to be rude and say no. I know he's into me because he's told me. But I don't feel the same way. I've tried to send him lots of friendship signals, but he's really of oblivious. I want to let him know for sure that we can only be friends sooner rather than later, and I have a lot of reasons besides the fact that I don't like him back. He's really clingy and that's irritating but I hate to be rude. He's also Morman, so he's going to BYU branch and then on a mission trip during college, so I'll be done with my bachelor's degree eons before he is, and I'm an atheist, and I feel really uncomfortable because he keeps inviting me to his church functions. I feel like he's not getting the bigger picture that there is no long or short term future for us, because he keeps dropping hints about how he "wishes we were going to the same college" and those sort of hints. I mean he's a pretty nice guy, but he's way too oblivious to understand that there's no future, and I don't know how to say it without being a complete jerk... so...advice? | Morman guy thinks that he and I have some sort of long term thing going, but I am uninterested in all possible ways, and I don't want to be a jerk about friend zoning him. |
t3_3gacut | personalfinance | Will spending for rewards points negatively impact credit? | Hey PF!
I'm 18 and a sophomore in college, and I'm going to be living off-campus at the start of the next semester (next Friday). The rent per semester is around $2200, and I have enough left over from scholarships to pay off schooling as well as the apartment each semester.
However, three months ago I was approved for a credit card with a $3200 credit limit with 0.00% APR which gives 10% of all charges in "rewards points." So, after finding out that the apartment complex I'll be residing these next two semesters does take credit card for payments, I was wondering if it would in any way negatively impact my credit score (currently 699--it dropped nearly 8 points after some unexpected expenses increased my utilization) to charge rent to my credit card, ensure the rewards points drop into my account, and then turn around and immediately repay my credit card from my bank account. | Moving into a new apartment, and paying $2200 on move-in day. Will charging to 0.00% APR credit card for rewards points and then immediately paying it off hurt my credit? |
t3_3byxyd | tifu | TIFU by trying to take a sneaky photo. | Today I was ordering some lunch in the food court with my three year old daughter and I saw an old friend of mine standing at the back of the line. While waiting for my food I thought I would try to take a sneaky photo of said old friend to send to another friend to show her how she looked after not seeing her for all these years, without knowing I had left the flash on on my phone.
Of course she saw the phone sneakily pointed at her but I tried to recover by pretending that I was taking a photo of my daughter and took a few more pictures. I don't think I covered it up very well judging by all the looks I was getting so I left quickly with my head down. | Saw an old friend and took a photo of her not realising the flash was on, tried to cover it up and pretended I was taking photos of my kid then gave up and bailed |
t3_2qncyb | legaladvice | Help: My emotionally abusive ex-wife [26F] secretly recorded me with a video camera and her whole family and friends are now trying to coerce me [35M] into giving her money I don't owe her. I'm in Costa Rica, and she moved back to the UK | Ok, first of all, before you think anything bad about me, here's the back story, if you're willing to read it:
Turns out that this psycho was secretly recording me day-in-day-out. I NEVER laid a finger on her or abused in ANY way. What I did do, was raise my voice but not scream or yell when she started insulting me for no reason. Once she pointed the camera right at my face and I pushed it aside. She yelled "NO" or something like this. Obviously I did nothing to her. Whatever she did, it was staged. I'm scared shitless because I'm getting threats from all over that if I don't pay said amount, I'll be fucked. I've never encountered such an evil person in my life. This is very mind f.cking blackmail.
She's currently in the UK and I'm in Costa Rica. They said that they would fly over here, that they have contacts with the cops, lawyers, etc.. I have my own lawyer and what she did - filming without consent - is very illegal in this country. I never wronged her so I'm safe on that side - if she pushed me to the point of raising my voice well it's pretty understandable. And rarely ever did I lose my cool, save for the very end of the marriage when she released barrages of insults constantly. She did throughout the marriage, but I think that anybody would raise their voices in situations like these.
Anyway, this lady turned out to be a psycopath. If I would have recorded what *she* did throughout the relationship, she'd be locked up in a mental institution.
I'm having problems coping and going to work after this emotional terrorism, but I don't want to give into her bullying, because knowing how messed up she is, she'll ask for more. And I'm broke anyway. | My insane ex-wife and her family secretly filmed me while having arguments and now wants to use the footage to coerce me into giving her money. |
t3_w5ijl | relationship_advice | F21, wants to know if anybody out there are friends with their exes. How is that going for you guys? Might base friendship with 22M ex on this... | I recently was dumped by somebody, and he wanted to stay friends. I told him I needed time, but afterwards, we could probably be friends. Thing is, now I'm having second thoughts.
Now, this is mostly out of curiosity, just to see if it's even possible-has anybody here stayed friends with their exes? If so, how is that going for you guys? Are you even close, or is it more of an acquaintance type thing? Do you secretly hate them, or are they your best friend? etc. etc. etc...and if you're not friends with your ex, but tried, what broke the friendship? | Are you friends with you ex? Why or why not? How is it? Hopefully I'll find some valid advice in all this, thanks in advance Reddit :) |
t3_1kl3ta | relationships | Me[19M] with my coworker[19F] :How would you feel if you received an anonymous email detailing what that person thought about you, sexually? | So there's this okay-looking coworker I work with (okay everything, really -- no ass, muffintop, a little chubby). The thing is, she dresses really damn slutty. Like short skirts or yoga pants or shirts that show off her slutty bras. Naturally, this gets me thinking about her all the time, to the point that I almost daily pop boners because of her.
I'm a little horny right now and I'm seriously thinking about making a throwaway email account and emailing her, telling her what I think about her. My intentions are to get her as turned-on and wet as possible. I guess you could say I'm gonna lie, because I'm going to tell her stuff like how I think she is the hottest person I've ever seen and how I would be so happy just to please her down south. Basically, I'm gonna get off to getting her off.
So what do you guys think? Will this be perceived as creepy and weird, or will she get her ego massaged by this and be happy about it? Like I said before, I just want to write about how sexy I think she is and what loving sexual things I'd do to her. I want to emphasize that I am not going after her, as I don't want any relationship with her. If she were to write back asking for something, my plans are to say nothing, for my personal safety.
I should also emphasize that I'm really fucking horny right now, so my mind's perception of what's right and wrong could be skewed right now :/ | okay-looking coworker gives me daily boner, not sure if it would be weird if i send her an anonymous email (falsely) stating how I think she is gorgeous and how badly I want her in bed |
t3_18aklj | relationships | [20F] When is it too soon to bring up the future? | I [20F] have been with my boyfriend [20M] for a little over two years. We have a great relationship, practically live together, and generally things have been going great. What I'm wondering is, when is it too soon to bring up the prospect of our future together (ie. marriage). We're both pretty practical people so the idea of getting married at 20 isn't exactly what I'm after. But, at the same, after having invested 2 years into the relationship I would like some reassurance that he sees a future with me . We haven't really ever discussed our future and when other friends our age get engaged he makes jokes with me which essentially end with him saying he's way too young to get married now (which is true).
I' m his first real, long-term girlfriend and I'm afraid he'll break up with me when he's done college (the way most guys do with their first long-term girlfriend after high school). I'd hate to spend 6 years with a guy, miss out on early-twenty-something festivities (the bar scene doesn't hold the same appeal when you're part of a couple), and not see the relationship progress. | When/how can I bring up the subject of our future together without sounding like some crazy over-attached girlfriend who wants to get married right away? |
t3_23wfs7 | relationships | Me [24 M], my old gf [24 F] got beat up by her current bf [26 M], I wanna kill him but what do I say to her? | My old girlfriend and I met in college and dated all 4 years. We split at graduation because she ended up going to grad school across the country. It was a mutual decision, and we decided to stay friends after the split.
A few months later, she started dating a guy at her new school who seemed okay and treated her nice at first. I only talked to him once. He seemed quiet, but I didn't see anything wrong with him. He said he was okay her talking to me now and then, but then one day just got upset and demanded that she stop talking to me. No phone, no text, no facebook. So I don't hear from her for over a year.
Then last week, I get a call from her. She's out in the middle of the street crying because he beat her up. I told her to call the police, and she said she already did and they were coming. Then we talked until they showed up.
Earlier today, she called me again and we talked for about an hour. She started telling me how during that year we didn't talk, that asshole gave her hell for all sort of shit. Apparently after he got rid of me, he got rid of her friends, and tried to get rid of her folks. Then he started telling her she was a bitch, compared her to his ex-girlfriends, and said some other crap I'm not gonna repeat. And then that night he apparently didn't like what she made for him for dinner, so he threw it on the ground and that's why they fought. She said she told him he was a bad boyfriend and that none of her exes ever treated her the way he did and he exploded, beat and kicked her, and then threw her out.
Not gonna lie. I wanna fly down there and kick his ass, but what do I do/say to her? She's in a bad place, but I don't want her to think I'm trying to get us back together because distance still doesn't work. At the same time, I don't want her to just sit there and cry by herself. Any ideas? | Old gf and I broke up due to distance. She got beat up by her new bf and is in a bad place. How do I help her fix the situation? |
t3_2jianh | relationship_advice | Im (21F) thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend (24M). What would you do in my situation? | SO we've been together a year, we live relatively far from each other. I mean a 40min train journey away but still we dont see each other that often.
Recently my bf is working A LOT, not out of choice just everyone is having to work 10/11 hour days at the moment. When he gets home he eats and crashes. I understand completely, I would be the same, but that leaves no time for me at all. Even before the job situation, hes been bad at communication. I am way more social and regularly text and call my friends. He does not, according to him, i am the person he texts the most out of his friends and family.
The distance and his other commitments mean we see each other once a month. This is not enough for me but can't be helped i guess.
I feel like hes not able to give me what i need which is sometimes not out of choice- the job or because thats what hes like. I can accept him as he is and we've already made a lot of compromises in terms of the low communication etc.
At the moment, hes unable to call when he says he will or text often. We barely see each other. And though i love him and care about him, im not sure if i can continue. I originally thought since the working extra long hours is a temporary thing, I could wait it out. But i think in general he doesn't have the time that a relationship needs.
Im thinking of taking a break a couple of days/weeks which would offer some clarity. I need to think about whether the positives of being with him outweigh all the negatives. And im hoping that it will show him how much he wants me in his life? Perhaps.. | Bf is going through a busy time in his life, he has little time for me and im unsure whether i can continue. |
t3_41p7yz | relationships | I [30F] have no interest in helping my husband[30m] start a second business. He's not getting it | Good morning, so my husband and I started a business about 3-4 years ago, we ended up losing money and closing the business. I lost hours upon hours of my time (I'm a part time graphic designer and in marketing). Once I'm doing something, it's all I think about. So I really put my all into this business. He never as much thanked me or even recognized that I helped with anything. Fast forward to now, he wants to start another business, I don't want to stop him if it's really what he wants and believes in...That said, I don't want to help. He just can't seem to understand that. He's already asked me if I want to help with the graphics and website as well as all the county/state filing. I don't! I love my full time job and the fact that I'm paid well and appreciated for what I currently do. How do I go about this? I don't know how else to tell him I don't want to work with/for him. If someone has been in a particular position, I'd love to hear about it and how it turned out. Thanks in advance | my husband wants to start a business. I don't want to help since he doesn't appreciate it and we've already taken a loss in a prior business. |
t3_oilux | AskReddit | Need some quick advice | I have searched Google, Yahoo, Askjeeves, been to the library and spoken on the phone with Child Maintainance Options but I need some more information.
the back story:
I have a 4 year old son, me and the father have been seperated for 3years because I discovered he lied constantly. He would say he is going to work but never have any money at the end of the week. This went on for months. I then discover he wasn't working he was going to his friends house smoking weed all day then coming home and sleeping at my house. Once I found out he was lying about work and was just somking weed all day and not helping physically or financially with the raising of our son I ended the realationship. He then began coming around at 2 sometimes 3am drunk and possibly stoned. This happened once a week. Police were called 3 times when he became violent and hit me.
I have not seen him or heared from him since 2010. His mother (who when we were together he lived with) lives around the corner from me. She has no contact. No member of his family has ever seen my son even when we were a couple they did not see my son. They or he has made no attempt to see my son.
He has been to prison for aggrevated street robbery and has been arrested several times for violent crimes.
Anyway my question is if anybody who reads this can help, if I put in a claim to the CSA (Child Support Agency) is there a way I can ensure he does not have contact with my son. I do not wish for him to have any sort of contact but I think if he is forced to pay money he could have used to buy drugs then he would take me to court for access and I don't want that to happen. It is not in the best intrest of my child to be around someone he does not know and someone who doesn't love him. Or should I just leave things as they are and struggle to buy new clothes or even pay for my son to have his hair cut. | If I make an ex pay for his son (via CSA) he hasn't seen for 2 years is there a way I can stop him having access? |
t3_1w360e | relationships | I [27 M] am about to see my girlfriend of a year [23 F] after 6 months apart. She is far more invested in the relationship than me, should I break it off before the trip? | So I've been dating a girl for about a year. We started off well but I was gone for work much of the time so it was a slow getting to know each other. 6 months into the relationship I had to move thousands of miles away.
Here's my issue. I really like her and enjoy being with her. I could keep puttering along seeing where things go and not get too invested if things don't work out as far as being together goes. This is *not* the case for her. She gets more invested in us by the day. I can tell she's falling head over heels but I feel very little. She constantly tells me how it's killing her to be apart while to me it's kind of a pain but I could wait. Logically I like her a lot, but I think perhaps I just can't build up that kind of connection at a distance.
I planned a trip a while ago to see her very soon for a few weeks. Also, it's almost Valentine's Day... My gut tells me that if this far into a relationship I'm not "in love" or at least emotionally invested I should probably break it off. I'd continue going if we were in person, but the distance thing sucks. She's in it for the long haul, she'll wait for me forever if she has to which just makes me feel incredibly guilty that I don't (yet if ever) feel that strongly.
For reasons outside of my control I have no idea when I'll be able to move back to her city, if ever. She has mentioned maybe moving to where I am, but it'd be a terrible place for her career and well being. It would just be for me.
Basically I need to decide if I should break it off or if I should string it along to see if that spark ignites while she continues falling madly in love and having visions of marriage and children.
Sorry, this was a bit rambling, I'm just very on the fence about what I should do and the time to act is fast approaching. | About to see girlfriend again after so long apart, but I feel terrible that our relationship is getting very lopsided. Should I end it? |
t3_2hcye4 | relationships | Is it wrong that I (17/M) still feel hurt by my (17/F) girlfriend? | We have been together for several months and they have been great. However my girlfriend has mentioned to me about her ex boyfriends and how she has a bad past with them.
I just told her that I'm not them and that it's in the past, so we can move on.
She has told me about one ex boyfriend in particular that she could not bring him to orgasm, and he could only do it while watching porn. She's told me this about 4 times.
I snapped last night because I was trying to show her reddit, and how there is a sub reddit for everything she loves. Doctor Who, FFA, music, stuff like that.
And she automatically says to me that there is porn and erotica on here how her ex could only get off to that and not her and the like.
This is the 5th time or so she's brought it up and she constantly tells me that "she's sorry and I'm not like any of her ex's but she feels this needs to be said" so I snapped on her and I told her that I feel as if she's comparing me to her ex ( she says she's not) and that she's not sorry about how she feels about it.
It's subsided but now I permanently feel hurt. She says she'll be more careful in how she tells me things but I legitimately feel hurt, like this isn't a 2 day thing. is this normal? | my girlfriend is really straining our current relationship with her past and I feel very hurt. Am I overreacting? |
t3_32e9m3 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Near-Girlfriend [17 F] 0 months (welp), Prom asking help | With prom season coming up, every high school senior in America is freaking out right now because he has no clue how to ask his girl. Well, all except for me. My friend, let's say Jessie, and I have gotten decently close, and I think prom could be a big next step. Our thing is kinda card tricks, and each time we see each other, we show a new one; thank god that's only about once a week (she's homeschooled).
If any of you are more creative than I am, I would love to have a trick designed that when completed leaves her dealing out four cards that have the letters P R O M facing up. It'd be kinda cute, ties into us personally, should work pretty well. However, the only math I'm any good at right now is Calc BC, so if anyone has any ideas, it would help a ton! Let me know if you need more!! | Need a magician to help design a card trick that ends up with the letters P R O M facing up (can be taped onto cards) |
t3_2gd24x | relationship_advice | I acted jealous to a girl I'm yet to meet, and are now afraid that I fucked it up. | So I met this girl online around 10 months ago, she's an asian girl living in the UK. I'm from Scandinavia myself. She's the most down to earth person I've met, plus I've never met someone I talk so well (she have seemed genuinely interested in me, asking about, everything I do and how I am, often) and we've had chats almost every day for the past 10 months or so. Plus Skype-calls once in a while that lasted hours before we went to sleep. I've wanted to meet her for a good time now, and we've talked about going traveling together. Now she's in Bali and working at a child care center, and of course having the time of her life.
Suddenly I started acting stupid by saying it pissed me off a little when she didn't reply when I could see she saw my messages. She also posted pictures of herself with another guy, which I didn't want to do anything against. Because let's face it, it would be stupid since I haven't met her and it would feel weird that I am jealous considered the situation. But in my drunken state, I called her and asked if she was having romance over there, which of course came out jealous. And she wasn't. Two fuck-ups that I should never have reacted on to start with.
I really don't want her to feel less connected to me by now, and after I have acted like that I start to feel I would bother her.
Any advice? | I met a girl online 10 months ago, we've talked everyday and had calls for hours. Then I started acting stupid and jealous for no reason. Now I'm afraid she'll lose the connection we've had. Advice? |
t3_3de73n | relationships | Me [21M] and this girl [19F] have been talking for a few weeks now and I'm not sure if its to soon to ask her to be my girlfriend/take her to my family reunion. | We have been talking for almost a month and most of the time we have hung out was with her friends. We hung out just the two of us twice and we just made out and cuddled with only clothing to come off was her top. She had a bad experience awhile back when she was kinda forced/talked into having sex with a guy when she wasn't ready and he ended up being a total douche, so she wants to take it a little slower. We always kiss when we are hanging out with whoever when we leave to go to our own places.
I have a family reunion this weekend on a lake where we would go out on the boat and ski, wakeboard, tube, etc. with my brothers, parents, cousins and whatnot. Do you think it is to soon for me to ask her to go with me? Also do you think it would be better for me to ask her to be my gf before the reunion? | Been talking to a girl for almost a month and are just in the kissing phase. To soon to take to family reunion or ask to be gf? |
t3_3j47nx | relationships | My [21/M] friend [19/F] is trying to be my son's [5/M] 'mom.' | Fake names, throwaway, usual.
I have sole custody of my son. I'll be the first to admit that I'm very protective and paranoid over Damian, but I don't think I'm overreacting in this instance.
I'm friends with a group of people in the same major as me. The girl in question, Ivy, is a recent edition to the group and is a bit immature, but she's very friendly and nice to hang out with. She tried flirting with me in the past, but I firmly rejected her and she seemed to have gotten over it. We've known each other for about a year.
Recently, they all hung out at my place for a bit. Obviously Damian was there, and met Ivy. Ivy was instantly smitten, because Damian's adorable. Her behavior since then has been really off-putting.
She constantly asks to babysit Damian and pouts when I say no, thinks Damian should come to every study session or hang-out (even ones later at night), wants to talk about him constantly, etc. One or two girls before have tried to be Damian's 'mom' and my response has been icing them out of our lives, but this is a lot more complicated as she's integrated into my main group of friends. I've mostly just not responded to her when she talks about Damian, but I'm looking for ways to shut her down permanently without getting everyone else involved. | Looking for ways to establish a firm boundary between my son and my friend who seems to want to be his 'mom.' |
t3_2vwrpp | dating_advice | [23/M] Going on a third date after two successful ones with a well rounded girl. How do I push things along to show I want to go further? | Hi reddit, I'm a 23/M dating a 23/F. We are both down to earth and intelligent and there is caution from both parties, in a healthy way.
About two months ago I met a girl online, and because I wanted to start dating again, went in search of a girl that wasn't basic. She is definitely not basic, and I'm into her and what she finds interesting.
The dates went well. First date when much better than expected, for both of us. Communication is effortless, and things are moving at a cautious but we'll adjusted speed. Second date was better than the first, we mostly dug into more personal matters and progressed.
Now she wants to cook for me (she is an actual chef for Wolfgang puck) and I'm flattered.
**My Question**
How do I indicate that I think things are going somewhere between us and that I want to invest time and effort into the pursuit of perhaps getting into a relationship with her?
My only idea is a rose and a nice bottle of wine.
Small note: I am an INTJ and relationships aren't my strong suit. | Third date with a girl is next. Things are going well for both parties. How do I indicate I want to go further with the relationship? |
t3_245862 | relationships | Me [20F] and my boyfriend [20M] have very conflicting sex drives | My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 7 months now and he has just moved in to my house and I am totally in love with this guy. There is literally no other problems in our relationship except our sex drives.
I have a low sex drive. I'm currently on birth control and Prozac and that's already eaten a huge chunk of my sex drive. I've also had bad past relationships that have resulted in trust and some control issues. So if the medication wasn't a libido killer enough, I have emotional issues tied on to it. Most nights i'd rather sit and watch TV and go to bed because sex just seems as fun as going to the grocery store.
Once my boyfriend and I start having sex its great. It feels awesome and he is very good! The problem is that when he wants to start it I get very defensive and feel like I'm being pressured (even though I'm not) and shut down. He feels as if I am annoyed or aggravated that he tries (which I'm not.)
My boyfriend has a really high sex drive and in all his past relationships he has always had a good sex life and he has never had to deal with a problem like this. It's very conflicting to him because he would do it at least everyday ideally. I would prefer a couple times a month because my sex drive is so low.
He has been very good about it but its taking it's toll on our relationship cause our sex drives are complete opposites. We have tried making a schedule but i end up shutting down on the days were supposed to have sex. When we don't have sex he gets very tense but will never pressure me, he just gets frustrated and goes to bed. That always makes me feel very very upset because I want so badly to please him and he also wants so badly to please me too...
What should we do? | Medicine and past relationship issues killed my sex drive entirely. He has a very very high sex drive and were both conflicted. |
t3_30y06w | relationships | My [18 F] boyfriend [19 M] didn't and still doesn't respect other's relationships. | We've been together for about 2 months now. When talking about his past, he's informed me that more than once he has slept with women he knew were in relationships. At one point his "best friend" told him she would leave her boyfriend for him but that didn't happen.
The way he sees it is if the woman is going to cheat anyway it doesn't matter who it's with. So if she's the one coming onto the guy, then that guy is not responsible at all if he goes along with it.
I've told him that the guy still can say no. And yes he does still have at least some responsibility if he knows that this woman is in a relationship. I've dealt with this issue before and decided that I like this guy enough that I can see past this moral difference between us, but now I'm thinking about it again and I just don't know how to feel about it. | My boyfriend doesn't consider it his responsibility when he has slept with women in relationships. I disagree and now I don't know how to feel about this moral difference between us. |
t3_2wu7fo | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ex [19F] of 1.5 years, trying to get over her but getting mixed signals. | So I've posted about this before, I'm having a hard time getting over her. We dated for 1.5 years and it's been about 3.5 months since we've broken up. Haven't talked too much except around Christmas, now we talk about once a month or so.
However, recently things have been weird? I've been thinking about her a lot and just the other day I woke up to a missed call on Facebook from her. She said it was an accident. Okay... I had actually blocked her on the facebook chat and had only unblocked her the night before she accidently called me.
Couple days later, she texts me randomly at night saying she missed how we used to hang out and asked if we could do what we used to do. Then I responded with "please don't do that". Then she apologizes and says she crossed the line with that request. The next day we talked about it, she said she was just reminiscing and apologizes again. She tells me to not read too much into it and to not overthink it.
She broke up with me, so she knows I might still have feelings for her (which I do). I honestly don't know what to do now. She makes it seems like she doesn't love me anymore, but her actions show otherwise.. | Hard time getting over ex, she is not helping by sending me mixed signals, but I still miss her a lot and want a relationship with her still. |
t3_3dt84m | tifu | TIFU while dildo shopping. | Well reddit, today I fucked up. This happened a few hours ago. A little background: I'm a white male 20 something. I drive a shitty car covered in jam band stickers with a cracked windshield, and I recently decided to buy a dildo. I had honestly never been in a sex shop before, and the whole concept made me kinda nervous. There is a place in town I could have gone to, but it's kind of a small town and I was afraid I would see somebody I knew. So I drove 20 minutes to the adjacent town to buy my fake wang. I was still kinda nervous when I found the place, so I circled the block a few times to build up courage. This was a mistake. While the sex shop is actually quite fancy, it is located right beside the biggest ghetto in town. As I am about to pull in, I notice blue lights in my rear view mirror. I pull over and am immediately surrounded by two cop cars and a K-9 unit SUV! The cop walks up to the window and point blank asks me if I have drugs in the car. I didn't (THANK GOD) but they knew I was from out of town and driving circles through the ghetto, and kept asking me questions about what I was doing there, where I was going, if I had made any stops along the way, etc. I couldn't think of any alibi at all, and I sure wasn't telling them I was on the way to the dildo store, so I just kinda mumbled. Please step out of the car...Fuck it, fine. Put your hands on the car and spread your legs...God dammit. After getting groped, they sat me down on the hood of the cop car while they searched my car. I make small talk with cop#2 while the police dog barks in the background. They don't find anything and let me go with a citation for the broken windshield that they used as an excuse to pull me over in the first place. I go buy a dildo.
COMING SOON: review of the 8 inch "Real Feel" plastic schlong. I should have made an unboxing video. | white boy tries to buy a dildo, gets lost in the ghetto, cops assume I am a drug dealer, gets his balls fondles by said cops. Most action I've gotten in months... |
t3_3w1sm9 | relationships | My SO [24F] thinks I'm [24M] selfish | My gf (of 2 years) just called me after her night out drinking and told me some stuff she seemed to have built up. So for the past two weeks we haven't really spent much time together or talked a lot because it's finals week and we've both been studying a lot. Between work and school and living about 20 minutes away from each other it's not exactly easy to see each other. Well her school finished a week early before me and she's been done for about a week now. But I've still been studying a lot everyday and she's seem to have taken offense to me not talking to her a lot. Since she was drunk she said somethings that weren't true, but she kept telling me I'm selfish because I never asked about her day or how her life is going. Am I selfish or an asshole for not doing so? We still chit chatted and text, nothing deep but honestly I know what's going on in her life, it's been almost one week since I've seen her. And talk to her everyday.
Something that really bothered me, I went to study with my friends at one of their houses, these aren't people she knows, but I was legitimately studying until one am. And she said she doesn't believe I was actually studying and keeps saying who knows what you were actually doing.
Now we are off the phone and she said she's blocking me and my family and I'm not invited to her graduation anymore.
Maybe this does make me selfish, but I have two finals tomorrow, she couldn't just hold out one more day before going off? I kinda feel like this is a time to be selfish if that's what this is.
I guess this is just a rant, I'm not sure if this is the right place, I don't frequent this sub. But any thoughts or advice is welcome. | girlfriend of two years called me selfish for not giving her enough attention during the last two weeks of school and now has drunkenly broken up with me. |
t3_cbxhk | AskReddit | Getting married soon and I have some questions | Ok, here's a little background. I'm in my final 3 months of college and I'll be getting married about a month after I graduate in chemical engineering. My fiancee graduated in education this spring and is currently living with her folks. Neither one of us has a job yet but we have not exhausted all options. We've both come from families that while not rich haven't had to worry about being able to pay bills or provide food. As a result of this neither of us really grasp what it will cost to start our lives together. Between her parents and mine the wedding is covered and I've been told that we have at least $1,500 coming to us as a wedding present. I'm just worried that this plus what I can make this summer (I work part time at a computer repair store) won't be enough to secure us a place to live, utilities for said place, modest furnishings, and other assorted bills like cell phones and car insurance. So my question is, in your experience reddit, how much does it cost to pick up and move to a new place? I may be inspired to bring you more queries if this proves to be a fruitful venture for me. Cheers | I need to know how much to save to comfortable move into a new place with my soon-to-be wife. |
t3_krl9w | AskReddit | Reddit, I start my first day of community college tomorrow, how do I... | Meet people and make new friends? All of my close/constant friends have moved off across the country for college.
Because of financial issues with my family, I had to stay and attend the nearby local community college (about 200 dollars a semester).
I have one class a day (the rest I'm working) in the mornings form 8:00-9:50am but two classes overall at the same time alternating M/W/F and T/Th.
Now, my biggest issue, problem, concern is this...
How do I make friends? I know it sounds corny and childish, but with all of my friends leaving, I've never -really- had to make friends, but with all of my pals gone, I know things are going to get real lonely, real fast.
So, how do I do it? | 18 year old, 6'5 white male seeks friends without prior knowledge of people within, only problem being he hasn't had to make solid friends in the last ten years. Things were easier when you were 8. |
t3_llz59 | AskReddit | Would you consider it rude if a friend watched porn on your computer? | I had a friend stay at my place for 3 days. Tonight, while I was browsing my history for an article I was trying to find, I noticed several links to the site "slut load" with video's like "Innocent teen brunette gives blow-job & receives facial", and since I don't watch porn (don't have a problem with people who do) and he was the only person to use my computer that week I came to obvious conclusions. My reaction was that I felt annoyed, and thought it was rude to watch porn on other peoples computers. Yet no harm came of it, no spyware or virus's, but thats only because I use linux. The guy doesn't know very much about computers so he probably doesn't know that a computer can get bogged down with spyware and the like, and which sites to use to avoid that. anyway | friend watched porn on my computer, I felt annoyed, but then felt inspired to ask the reddit masses for their 2 cents. |
t3_399x68 | offmychest | Rejection is a million times better than a fade | I was out at a bar a couple months ago and that's where we ran into each other - well technically she ran into me. My college crush. It had been 4 years since I had even thought about her, but those crush-like thoughts came flowing back almost immediately. Back then I was too much of a pussy to do anything about it, but I've changed a lot since then. I've gotten more confident. And she was flirting super hard with me, so I asked her out and she said yes. What an awesome feeling.
We went on three dates and they went really well. She texted me the day after our third date to tell me how much fun she had. She was leaving soon for a month long trip, so she said she would text me when she got back and we could hang out again.
A month passed. And another two weeks, no word from her. So I texted her, asking if she was back in town. Another week goes by, no answer. I checked her facebook to see that she had returned as planned, and was back at work again. But no word from her.
It's been like 6-7 weeks now since I last heard from her, and I've accepted that I'm probably never going to see her again. I just don't understand why, I thought it was going so well. But the worst part of it all is, despite our history and friendship through college, you didn't even have the decency to reject me. YOU came up to ME at that bar. I had moved on, i hadn't even thought about you in years. It was YOU who pulled me back into YOUR life, and just like that you dropped me without any explanation. I thought you at least cared about me enough that you could message me an explanation.
Shit, running into your college crush and getting a second chance... what are the odds? And then being on top of the world for a few weeks, just to have it torn away from you, it all seems like some sick cosmic joke. But the worst part for me is I'll never even get closure. I'm trying to find a reason behind all of this but I just can't. And now I'm sitting here left wondering questions I'll never have answered.
Fuck. | Ran into college crush at bar, went on three really good dates. She suddenly stopped answering me and I never heard from her again. No explanation or closure, and it's driving me insane. |
t3_2b076c | relationships | Me [22 M] with ex-girlfriend [21F] "I'll give you my number at some point" | Apologies for another update. Probably the final one now if anyone is finding these annoying.
Original Posts
So to just outline. Saw ex after not talking for 2 years (we went out when I was 15 but stayed friends for years) in the gym. She gave some small signs she may like me, things like asking if I had a girlfriend randomly and such.
I hadn't run into her in the gym for a week and knew she had a gymnastics competition on the weekend so I decided to text her asking how it went a few days ago with the number I didn't even realize I had of hers still from when we spoke a couple of years ago.
Anyway, had no reply, pretty sure it wasn't her number anymore. Saw her in the gym today and casually mentioned how I tried to text her, she said she'd changed her number last year so that explains that. I quickly tried to move on from it as to not make a big deal of it and look like I was dwelling on it and just ask her about how her competition went anyways. So spoke about that for a couple of minutes. After that she said she was heading off to another part of the gym (the cardio end) As she said seeya she said and began to walk off "I'll give you my number at some point" This was about 5/7 minutes after the whole "I text you discussion" ended so she brought it back up on her own despite that part of the conversation ending. I never did at any point ask for number or have mine phone out like I was prompting her for it.
Now, I know unless you read the original threads and were not there it's hard to know if she really meant that or it was an excuse but generally speaking, is this something a girl might say meaning she's not interested, doesn't want to give her number or in that because she brought it up again herself meaning she was actually genuine?
Just looking for feedback as I don't know if I should take this as a don't bother anymore or to just carry on and see. | Girl I'm interested in said 'I'll give you my number at some point", not sure if that's simply an excuse for disinterest or means just what she said basically. Looking for feedback on what it possibly meant. |
t3_54urg5 | relationships | Me [24F] with my bf [29 M] of 8 months broke up 10 days ago. What should I do to feel better? | We met online and had a long distance relationship for most of the time. He goes to school in a different city.
We enjoyed doing things together. It was hard for us to get over our insecurities, but we made it. Everything was good until we started getting more serious and he got over jealous about everything. I lied to him about having a male roommate. I know it was my fault, but I actually just didn't want him to worry about it.
I confronted him about the roommate thing 10 days ago. He got very mad and I broke it off on the phone, but later texted him I wish we could work it out. I tried to contact him many times last week, but he refused to talk to me again.
I wish he could pick up the phone and tell me our relationship is terminated. I wish I could've had a chance to explain the whole thing. I keep thinking about driving 3 hours to where he lives to beg him to take me back. He was everything that I was looking for in a partner :( | broke up over a week ago. I keep thinking about him. Any suggestion to help me move on and feel better? I've cried so much lately |
t3_20dmek | relationships | Me [21/F] got broken up with [22/M] after having sex for the first time. | I was talking to a reaally nice guy who lived about 2hours away, he had never been in a relationship, and was still a virgin. I'd visit him about every other weekend and we'd have a nice dinner, hangout with friends and drink. After about 3months we had sex and it went down hill from there.
I was planning on asking about where we stood in the relationship,( I've only had sex with one other person and made him wait a year, so this was out of character for me.) Last weekend after our date, he asked me what I thought of us, thinking he wanted to start a relationship, he broke things off saying the distance, his work and our future plans weren't working out. which I completely agreed with BUT, these were things all apparent in the very beginning and never seemed like an issue.
Its been about a week since the 'break up' and I'm pretty over the whole ordeal but I never told him how hurtful it was that he had sex with me, knowing he felt that way the whole time, sex is just a meaningful thing to me and I feel like I wasted that with him.
Is it too late to tell him that without seeming like I'm not over the whole situation or I'm bitter? | Was talking to a guy and after having sex, he broke up with me. Its been a week since, so is it to late to tell him how hurt I was by his actions without seeming like Im bitter? |
t3_3ii1ze | relationships | I [20s M] want to ask out this girl [20s F] but we live in same dorm and have barely spoken | I live in this dorm (not a typical dorm with freshmen. It's mostly full of seniors, grad students, and international students). This Japanese girl recently moved into the dorm and I find her attractive. She can communicate in English, although it is quite broken. I've just spoken to her a few times (and even gave her a small piece of pork that I was cooking), but the conversations were short, just stuff like what's her major, what differences has she noticed between here and her hometown, etc. Her answers weren't overly blunt, but she seemed more interested in her phone than me as she didn't reciprocate and try to get to know me
I'd like to ask her out, or at the least ask for a language exchange since I'm interested in learning Japanese. However, since we live in the same place I'm worried things could get awkward if she's not interested. I have also passed/walked by her a few times, pretending not to notice her even though I could see her with my peripheral vision due to nervousness, but she didn't say hi, so I'm not sure if that's a sign of disinterest or not. It also doesn't help that I don't have many friends, which I'm sure turns off girls
Should I ask her out anyways? Do girls only like guys if they show obvious interest and a lack of obvious interest implies no interest?Or talk to her a little more before asking her out? | I want to ask out this girl I've barely spoken to, but we live in the same dorm together. Should I ask her out next time I see her anyways? |
t3_izaxy | AskReddit | How do I tell Bridezilla, I don't want to. | Ok, I've been chosen to stand up in my best friend (of 12yrs) wedding. I was runner up, but after a fight with her sister I'm now maid of honor. I would be thrilled except that she's turned into a controlling crazy bride.
NOTHING can be requested, discussed, etc. It's all her way or no way. Even down to each bridesmaid HAVING to wear different dresses (different straps, cut, length, etc) matching colors. Which is fine, it's just a hassle when you're trying to order dresses 3 months before the wedding. THEN she chose our hair dos - this would be fine if she didn't choose a hair do that makes me look like a blimp head. Then there's shoes, jewelry, hair do appointments, make up, etc. She knows we're (bridesmaids) are all struggling to scrape up the extra money to make her happy. However, she isn't taking that into consideration. EVERYTHING must be perfect.
And yes, her and her hubby-to-be (my cousin) aren't even officially engaged yet. No rings. But the date is already set for Oct. 21st. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Anywho.....
After trying to give her ideas on hair dos that would be more flattering for my frame....she straight shot them down. =(
Then the dress color battle. She tried to get 3 very pale girls in 3 very vibrant yellow dresses. Thankfully she chose to go with navy blue after all 3 of us thought it was terrible.
That's just what happened yesterday/ongoing today. There is so much going on and so much drama because of the shotgunning that I don't know how to stop her from making us feel like shit.
How do I tell her I prefer a different hair style? How do I tell her I can't afford to pay for all the extras (especially when I can do it myself)?
**THANK YOU REDDIT | I'm my best friend's maid of honor, she's bridezilla in the making. How do I approach the subject of not agreeing with her without having her blow up? |
t3_38i3r5 | relationships | Should I [M/14] tell my friend [M/14] who my crush is? | He is one of my good friends but I dont need and want him to tell everyone about it and I am not sure if I can trust him. I said I would tell him if he guessed right thinking he would not guess correctly but he actually did and just asked me on Skype. Normally I would ask my best friend [14/M] on his opinion and if not ask my second best friend [14/F] for hers. But unfortunately, they are both performing at a school concert tonight and I cant contact them to ask. So therefore I am asking Reddit. Call me immature and stuff but I really need some advice. | Friend guessed who my crush is when I thought he wouldnt. Dont know if I should trust him or not. |
t3_1dkwfd | pettyrevenge | Customer refuses to pay; car gets hit in parking lot | I am a server at a breakfast restaurant and have seen my share of idiot customers. Today, however, one of them finally got what they deserve. Sorry if it's long, not sure what to write, first post here as well.
As I walk up to the table, asking if they are ready or have any questions, the lady immediately starts ordering items that are not even on the menu, asking the most bizarre questions, and being rather rude with me. At this point I continue smiling and answering every question they have. They really didn't know what they wanted the whole time either... Once it gets around to the husband is where it gets bad.
After clearly and completely addressing each of his questions, he finally orders. As I bring out the food, the wife and kids are "happy" (I guess you could call it) with the food, but he is already getting agitated, claiming it was not what he ordered. We have three pound skillets and I warned him it was a lot of food. He asks if there is meat in it, yes, as I answered before he ordered, although he doesn't believe me. I come back to him staring at it, then he starts yelling at me that he didn't order jalepanos (if he had actually READ the menu, he would have known it came with them. I end up doing a re-order on the food, and bringing it back to him EXACTLY AS HE ORDERED. He never ends up eating it, the whole time they are running my ass off as I have other tables to take care of, and eventually refuses to pay for it.
Half an hour later they come in asking if we have access to the security cameras in the parking lot (which we don't). They are yelling at us that someone hit their car and want access to the footage. I told them that there was nothing we could do about it. (I could see the scratch from the restaurant). | Asshole customers run my ass off while I'm busy with other tables, refuses to pay, stiffs me, their car gets hit and run while parked outside. |
t3_fwjgu | AskReddit | Someone to love, or someone to love you? | Throwaway account, I'm a regular Redditor. I'd ordinarily ask this to the r/relationships community but it can get lost in there and I want to know what Reddit at large thinks.
In an argument/heated discussion about relationships and a recent break up, the other party in my argument said despite the fact he has someone who loves and cares for him (who he does have feelings for) he's always yearned for someone to love - the issue being his emotions/feelings and whether or not he has a future with this person - he can't see if he does or not, it's a long story and is far from black and white. I worry he's so concerned with how he *should* be feeling, he's missing how he is feeling and what he's already got.
For me it's pretty much a question of emotional maturity I think, the more emotionally mature a person the more they know they have choices, considerations in relationships and it's not all disney magic and yes if you're happy with the person who loves you and you like them have chemistry and invest in your relationship it can be pretty awesome. | So Reddit - someone lovely who loves you who you can develop feelings for (because you have a great relationship) or someone to love? |
t3_yczpd | relationship_advice | (26/m) My girlfriend (25/f) has a hard time with commitment and often feels pressured (details inside). How can I help her overcome this? | We've been together for around 10 months and are pretty serious. There is a lot of love and good times. There have also been many disagreements. As an example, disagreements tend to come when we have plans to meet up, and she says she can't because she has to go clean her room. Unfortunately we're both really busy, and probably wouldn't be able to meet up for another week so I suggest (not angrily) that she could clean her room a time other than when we had agreed to meet up. She then gets really mad, saying I'm pressuring her and usually there's nothing I can do/say to change her mind. A couple times I've gotten fed up and very mad, and it's convinced her, but I don't want to make her do things, at the same time, we need to have more seriousness about commitments to plans.
I know there's underlying issues with her family who pressure her a lot, and her mother always wants her to be home when she's not at work. Her family is Indian and in a very tightly knit community and I'm white. They don't know about me because my girlfriend thinks they'll hate me because I'm not from their community and lock her up in the house if she tells them.
It's a complicated situation, I know there's a lot of pressure on her, I want to be able to help her to help loosen up her parents but it's hard because they're very oppressive and controlling and I can't do anything indirectly. Her mother uses guilt a lot to make her do things. She'll sometimes cry for hours when my girlfriend won't do something she wants her to, telling her she's putting her in so much pain and how could she be so negligent of her own parents and family. Usually it's for something as simple as my girlfriend wanting to go visit another city for the weekend. What does reddit think I can do to help her overcome the situation with the parents and overcome her struggles with sticking to commitments? | My girlfriend has a hard time following through on commitments and always feels pressured with even slight suggestions. It probably stems from her parents being very controlling and oppressive. How can I help her without being in contact with her family? |
t3_26jdmg | relationships | Me [32F] met a wonderful guy[36M], I like him but he is not as attractive as me. | I met H at a party on friday,
To be honest I was absolutely not attracted to him.
As I was leaving, he kind of imposed himself saying he will walk with me to the metro just to be on the safe side.
During the walk, he showned himself to be witty, bright and to my surprise, I could really feel there was something there, at the very least a possible friendship.
So when he proposed we go get a coffee before goodbye, I agreed.
I had so much fun with him, that we did not noticed the metro closing time and we ended up walking all the way to my place.
Reddit, this was one of the best date I ever had in my life, so much chemistry there. The conversation was flowing, even in silence.
I saw him on saturday night, bang, perfect date again.
Now reddit, this is my question. He is far less attractive than me, I know it sound shallow, but this is a fact. During our date on saturday night I could notice the glare from people or some guys trying to hit on me, thinking he was a wingman or something. I want to give this relationship a chance, he totally charmed me.
How do that work? | met a man that totally charmed me, I look like Jessica Rabbit and him like Dany Devito. Can it work between us? |
t3_1a74vz | AskReddit | How do you best approach (or not approach) someone else in the workplace when they seem covertly hostile or jealous of you without a stated reason? | Hey Reddit, I did a search on Jealousy and for the most part I was flooded with information on how to manage the jealousy of one's self. Lately many good friends of mine have been exhibiting signs of jealousy of me (passive agression basically) and have forced me to cut contact with them entirely. I have approached them regarding the topic by keeping any mention of jealousy a secret but for the most part, they say everything is fine (then pass me over for any events/invites).
But this is mainly an issue now in the workplace. I seem to be experiencing something similar where people I was once friendly with have mysteriously done a 360 in terms of their treatment towards me and it is impossible for me to really know why. There *have* been changes in the office regarding certain personnel but I figured before I even mention any of my suspicions or anything like that, I'd ask for some basic advice first and if people really need my input then I would state it. | Peoplez be hatin' in the workplace....Just wondering the best way to deal with it or approach the subject. |
t3_1yim4i | relationships | I [24F] didn't get him [27M] anything for Valentine's Day, but he got me stuff? | I've known him for a little less than a year, our friendship started "evolving" around late September. But honestly, I have no idea where we stand. Like, he asked me to hang out for Valentine's Day (2 days before), but I had already made plans with a friend. He's kind of flaky; may or may not show up, literally always late. And yet he got me a scarf, a shirt, and a really nice personalized card- all of which he gave me today I feel really bad now, but I literally don't have any money to get him anything. I feel so selfish, but I'm broke and didn't know where we stand. Still don't. Do you have any suggestions? | he got me nice stuff for valentine's day. I didn't know where we stood and have been flat broke, but I feel guilty and selfish for accepting his gifts. |
t3_3yphx8 | personalfinance | My sister is being targeted by some sort of strange scam, and I can't quite figure out what their game is. | Hey reddit,
So here's the deal. My sister is in college at a small state school in the US. She got a handful of scholarships and through those her school is pretty much paid for. She has received a scholarship that is sponsored by the state and actually given to all qualified graduating high school seniors in my state, but she has never gotten a government grant, nor has she ever applied for a grant or been involved with a grant at all. Yesterday she got a letter in the mail that says something about how the "HEAA State Grant Funds are being delayed from being disbursed" and the letter said that she had been refunded $100 dollars. In the letter was a hundred dollar bill. I'm no expert on counterfeits, but it looks like a legit hundred dollar bill to me (it has the little colored strip, it has the phantom face when you hold it to the light, etc.) The letter itself is quite obviously fake. It has a ton of grammatical errors and general non-sense and it's not on official letter head. In fact, it looks like it is a photocopy or scan of a letter.
The weird thing is, they don't ask her for any further info, they don't ask her to take and deposit the money at a specific bank, or any of the usual scam stuff. It seems like it's just a really poorly written letter with a large bill in it. My sister is off to go talk to her bank, the school, and the post office right now but I'm really curious if anyone has ever seen this before and knows what the game plan here is. | My sister got an obviously fake letter with money in it but they haven't asked her to do anything else. What's the end game here?? |
t3_2v5ig2 | relationships | [22F] my crush's friends are starting to get crushes on me and it'm afraid it'll ruin our friendship | Me and my best guy friend have been messing around for a while. We both have feelings for each other but he's going to be traveling for a couple of months and we have decided to not try anything for now.
Anyway, that's not the problem. I am part of his group of friends, we all hang out all the time and I am close with all of them. They don't know about us messing around and crap.
A couple of weeks ago one of his friends started trying to get closer to me (asking me out, trying to talk about more intimate stuff, etc). I passively shut him off and it caused him to stop talking to me.
Yesterday i noticed the same thing starting to happen with another one of his friends (his best friend to be exact).
My problem is that, i don't want to tell him that his friends are making advances on me. However, i'm afraid that if i keep shutting them down that i'll start being excluded from the group and lead him to think that his friends don't like me. He values his friends greatly and I doubt anything will continue with us if his friends don't like me...
I'm unsure of what to do at this point. I want to tell him about his friends but i also want to respect their privacy (they are also my friends, and I wouldn't do something like that to my friends). | Crush's friends making move on me, i shut them down, they stop talking to me. Afraid i'll get excluded from group and my crush will think his friends don't like me. |
t3_3djdlb | relationships | Me [23F] with my ??? [25M] of 2 years, it's none of my business? | Quick background: It's complicated. We don't label it as anything and we're not in an official relationship and we're both monogamous.
I snooped through his a conversation (I know it's wrong to) on his phone and found a conversation between him and his friend. This friend was pretty much talking down on me and making assumptions about me. I requested for him not to talk about me to his friends and to change the topic if I was brought up.
He gets all defensive and gives me an entire lecture saying it's none of my business who he talks to or what he says to other people and how I have no rights and turns this against me for snooping. Only then to say he already follows my "request" so therefore he doesn't need to follow it(??)
I don't care who he talks to or what he says but I feel like he doesn't respect me at all to follow such a simple request that affects me.
So reddit, is he right that none of this is my business? I want to talk to him about this again but I don't know how to proceed because he'll just get defensive and find a way to turn it around on me. | I request for him to not to talk about me to his friends/ change the topic when I get brought up but apparently I have no rights and it's none of my business. Is this true? |
t3_2nfsgq | relationships | Me [26F] with my best friend [27F], having an affair with a M26 in a committed relationship - Should I tell his GF? | My [26F] best friend, Julia [27F] is having an affair with a man, Todd [M26] in a serious committed relationship. I've been friends with Julia several years, she's known Todd for a couple years, and their "affair" has been going on for several months.
There's an obvious consensus that Julia is balls deep in the wrong. For whatever reason, she's still in love with this loser and keeps going back and forth with him. I love my friend, but what she's doing is so shitty and horrible and there is an innocent victim involved - Todd's girlfriend. Julia absolutely refuses to say anything to this girl. Her excuses are that it would just hurt the girlfriend more (GF already caught Todd cheating on her before) and that Todd would physically hurt her (reasonable concern, unfortunately).
This has been going on for months. I'm beyond telling Julia to stop and giving her advice. At this point my only question is if I should tell Todd's girlfriend. I think she has a right to know. Is it the right thing to do? Is it none of my business? | my friend is having an affair with a guy in a committed relationship. Neither will come clean. Should I tell his gf? |
t3_3p2mh5 | tifu | TIFU By forgetting girls aren't boys when it comes to some humor | I go to an all male school and barely get to interact with females, and even when I do it's brief at most. So while at this social with my friend, who is basically my gateway to females, and he introduces me to a girl who I've seen around town but never really gotten the chance to talk to. So she starts talking about memes, a culture which I am fluent in, and how she spends her days looking at them.We started off pretty smoothly. Then my friend makes a reference to the scene from Toy Story where Woody says "Buzz we missed the truck!" Remembering that one Toy Story gif where it finishes with the 9 11 clip instead of them landing in the truck, I mention it as if nothing was wrong. Considering I had told my other friend at school of this gif and we got a good 5 min laugh out of it, I thought I would get the same reaction here. Unfortunately instead of a those nice feminine laughs I got a sudden gasp from her mouth. She ended up saying something along the likes of "MY FRIEND'S FRIEND'S DAD'S FRIEND WAS IN THE CITY WHEN THAT HAPPENED!!" I felt instant regret,searching for some sympathy I looked to my friend who was currently with me, but he chastised me as well. I was devastated by that one scene for the rest of the night, and i didn't help that this "friend" who was supposed to be my beacon of hope to getting with girls just went against me not even trying to support me. | I made a joke at my all guy school, get a good laugh, make the same joke in front of a girl, l get instantly rebuked by both girl and wing-man |
t3_1xtvkx | relationships | Am I [24/m] being too controlling/overbearing for my gf [21/f]? | So recently my gf befriended some neighbors of her (3 guys) and they have gone out to drink and she's invited them over to drink at her place through all hours of the night.
Normally I wouldn't mind this kind of stuff but it's the fact that I've never seen these guys. They also seem to text her quite a bit and although I don't see any flirting going on, I notice that she's always ignoring them when she's with me but talking with them quite a bit when I'm not around. Also... the fact that I have yet to meet any of her neighbors (its been 2 weeks) that she's constantly hanging out with bugs me a lot.
Also, another thing that bothers me is that she neglects to tell me that they are around. Like the other night she was supposedly drinking with her roommate. I wake up to find out that she was with her roommate and the 3 other guys till like 4am. The fact that she keeps this from me while they are hanging out is extremely bothersome to me.
When I bring it up to her she apologizes and tells me that nothing happened and that they know she has a Bf and that they don't like her like that. If I go any further into discussing about the topic she gets angry and tells me she doesnt want to talk about it.
My friends are telling me to just do the same thing to her. I have female friends that she's never met before that I can easily go out with but that seems a bit petty but I don't think she understand just why I'm upset with her... | GF hangs out with her guy friends that i've never been introduced to and she also neglects to tell me she's with them until after the fact. should i be suspicious or am i being too overbearing? |
t3_42ju6t | relationships | Me [32 M] with my _ex-gf(s)__ [21 F, 22 F, 27 F] 1 month, 5 months, 7 years, how do you deal with hostility in a relationship? how much hostility when upset is "normal"? | hey
i recently ended (last night to be exact) a very short relationship because of a combination of her being overly hostile when upset / getting upset over very small things and me being very sensitive to hostility. about two weeks prior to this breakup i had kind of realised that im in a pattern of falling in love with women who end up becoming very hostile to me during arguments, but at this point im trying to be mindful of my own contributions to the issue.
i guess what im wondering is how much hostility do you consider normal in a relationship? i know i am very sensitive to it, as in i get upset from harsh tones, eye rolling, loud sighing, physical and emotional withdrawing, and sarcasm. once i get upset by it i feel hurt and i dont really act out or get drawn into a hostility battle, but get really defensive. and then after the fight i feel upset about it even once the issue is resolved.
has anyone else felt the same way and been able to get over it? im kind of worried that part of me is whats driving my former partners to up the hostility ante and making the situation that much worse. im planning on starting meditating today as i know that strengthens the anterior cingulate cortex (which helps to control threat detection reactions from the amygdala) but at the same time i dont really want to be a person who just accepts a partner's hostility. i dont think its ok to be hostile with your partner, and i think that a mature adult should be able to communicate relationship issues in a respectful way without showing contempt, criticizing, or withdrawing.
really, anything about similar experiences or feelings would be helpful at this point. my friends and family that ive spoken to about this dont really say much beyond that i shouldnt have to deal with it when someone is like this. i kind of feel like im partially responsible for the situation though so im trying to figure out how and why so that i can end this vicious cycle.
thanks, | how do you deal with hostility in a relationship? how much would you consider to be normal? im worried my sensitivity to hostility is causing issues in my relationships |
t3_4sdjla | relationships | Me [52M] Want to divorce my wife [20F]. It has been a 26 year marriage. | Should say wife [50] can't change it in title.
I want to divorce my wife or change the relationship. I have done all the things that I am supposed to do. I have been a good husband, a great father, a good provider. I have raised my children (and I mean "I have raised my children").
My wife has done so many thing to damage our relationship you would not believe me it I tried to list it. The biggest problem that she has had is drug addiction and abuse of prescription medications. I finally figured out what was really going on after she got 2 DUI's in 2 weeks. By the way, she has never worked during our marriage.
She is a chronic pain patient and she has other medical issues. Some of her medical problems are in her head or a part of her being Bipolar. I care for her and want her to be taken care of but I cannot live like this any more.
Over the last 18 months she has gotten sober, but for me it is to little to late.
So I offered her the following deal, we would be roommates and stay married and I/we could start seeing other people. Or we could just get a divorce. | My questions are: Am I crazy to still be with her? Is my initial offer fair or not? Or should I just damn the torpedo's and pull the trigger. |
t3_2idw8a | relationships | I [21M] can't come during sex with my girlfriend [21F] of 6 months | Me and my girlfriend started having sex around a month or two ago and I haven't been able to come during sex regularly. I was also a virgin before this, just as extra info. I have never come from her giving me a blow job and very rarely during sex (like only if we haven't had sex in a few days). I think I might have some kind of performance anxiety. Since I can't get my sexual release from sex. I do masturbate every couple of days (no problem coming at all) and I might look at some pictures of other women (which I feel guilty about).
My worry is that I may not actually be as physically attracted to my girlfriend as I thought. She doesn't have the biggest breasts (I'm more of a boob guy than an ass guy), and she's not the slimmest girl out there, but she's not like fat. She's really pretty, though. I, on the other hand, am fairly fit. I go to the gym around 4 times a week and eat well. Am I just so overwhelmingly attracted to models that I just cannot find her attractive?
I think I have two questions here. It seems like I may not actually find her attractive. Could this change over time? And, if I do want her to be more fit, how do I approach this topic? I don't know a delicate way to tell her. Has anyone gone through this that can give me some advice on what I should do? (not masturbating will probably be one of them, I bet) | I can't come while having sex with my girlfriend and I think it may be because I am not actually physically attracted to her. |
t3_35kn3w | legaladvice | Officer pulled me over asked if I was guilty. I said yes. Can I plead not guilty in court? | [Texas] Hello reddit.
I got my first ticket for speeding. This is how it happened: the road I usually take has a speed limit of 55, however this happened during school time so it lowered to 20. A while Before reaching the school zone some other driver was going into my lane, so I accelerated and passed him. I didn't know how fast I was going since there was a lot of traffic, I was just going with the traffic. I saw the police car on the other side of the road about 500. He then drove past me did a u turn then after I noticed it was for me, I pulled over. He only asked for my license then told me I was speeding and asked if I was guilty. Nervously I said yes. This is my first ticket ever. I tried talking to him but all he was saying is to "talk to the judge" he gave me my ticket and left.
I'm a student and I don't know how much it's going to be but I can barely afford instant noodles. I've been reading a lot and it said I should plead not guilty and try to fight it, but I already told the officer I was guilty. Is that a problem? I got caught 44 in a 20
Extra information: can't see the school zone warning lights unless your about 50ft in front. They are covered by a bush. He also didn't ask for insurance and registration. This is my first I don't know what to do. Help | I got pulled over today going 24mph over the limit. Officer pulled me over asked if I was guilty. I said yes. Can I plead not guilty in court? |
t3_44sqr8 | relationships | Me [24 F], my BF [26 M] of two years, jealous of my BF's ex, not sure how justified my feelings are. | All in all our relationship is great but there's one thing that's always bothered me. For me this is my first relationship ever. My boyfriend on the other hand had a rather serious relationship before me (He was single for about a year before we started dating). I don't know all the details but they were together for quite some time and during that time his ex cheated on him a lot and the whole relationship was very off and on again.
This wouldn't bother me in the least and at first it didn't but it's just that he's mentioned his previous relationship quite a few times (though what he says is never positive). First it started bothering me when I complained that he's not romantic even though I am and he always enjoys the little sweet surprises and notes that I leave for him but never really reciprocates. During this conversation he said that he used to be romantic in his previous relationship but because it ended so badly he doesn't do that anymore. I wouldn't even care about the romance thing, but this really hurt. And I told him that, he knows.
Later on I found out that one of his best friends told him that his ex is now married and expecting. How normal is it that he's upset about it? I don't have any exes so it's hard to tell for me but before we got together there was one guy I was madly in love with but it didn't work out, but I don't really care about him because I love my bf. Why would he care so much?
And now, recently I noticed that he opened a link on his phone that his friend sent him and it was a picture on facebook of a couple. He stared at it for like two minutes and it just made me wonder if that wasn't his ex again.
All in all, I just want to know if it's normal that I'm feeling jealous and bothered by all of this? Or is it normal since it was his first serious relationship? I feel like this is eating me up inside and it's hard for me to tell if these are just intrusive thoughts or my emotions are justified. | feeling jealous/threatened about bf's ex, not sure if my emotions are normal or I'm having intrusive thoughts about it. Any input would be appreciated. |
t3_3aokr6 | tifu | TIFU by letting someone insult me to my face. | First TIFU, long time lurker. I've always been a long time metal head, but never showed it. No long hair, band t shirts or black pants with chains etc. I work for a furniture delivery company in SC. The vans have blue tooth built in and I always listen to metal when I drive alone. (djenty stuff or old school death and thrash) I listen to the radio when co-workers are with me because I know not everyone likes metal. I backed the truck up to the dock to get loaded up and one prick of a co-worker who I despise heard it and proceeded to belittle me in front of all my peers just for listening to "screamo music", and I didn't have a comeback because I was hungover and feeling bad because my father passed and today was fathers day. It kills because I am smart and courteous with others but have never been one of those people who can send back a quick insult on the fly. | I let a Top 40 listening jackass walk all over me and didn't do shit about it even though I have been listening to metal since I was 10. |
t3_1fqo83 | GetMotivated | Please help me create a lifestyle "program", that focuses on mental and physical health! | That sounds silly.
If there is anything I have learned, it's that being healthy isn't just about thin tummies and muscles. It's not all about eating heart healthy and walking every day. There is a mental component too. To be completely healthy you need to be both mentally and physically healthy. You need to learn how to cope in healthy ways, and take care of yourself emotionally. I think "the system" has failed us in these ways and I'd like to create a new program that has a goal of personally achieving mental and physical health.
I wrote up some stuff for it, like a mission-typed statement: Our primary belief is that everyone has the ability to change and work towards a healthy lifestyle, menatally and physically. We encourage every member to engage in self-reflection and work towards self-insight through discussion, critical thinking, reading relevant texts, self-care and a community effort of working to discover the best ways for different types of people to achieve a healthy lifestyle. We have faith that as we work to better ourselves, we are opening doors for others, and in doing so, we are making the world a better place.
Those are some flashy religion words. But this isn't religion, its confidence. :)
Some more goal/ideas:
When you better yourself you are also helping to better others.
What you want, you can achieve.
There are many paths to the same answer. Failure means you just need to try a different path.
There are healthy ways to cope with things like anger, stress, sadness.
No one person has the answer, everyone works together to find it.
Everyone has the right to a healthy life, and everyone can have one.
I also have written up some concepts for working through "stages" that focus on different goals, like self-care and talking about mental health.
I even have some name ideas: The Healthy Lives Project (maybe?)
If you have any contributions/want to help/try it out, please PM me! | I have an idea for a lifestyle program to help people become healthy mentally and physically, and would like people to help me create it/test it |
t3_3gq5k3 | relationship_advice | [22/m] I've lead someone [22/f] on, and need to have a 'talk.' What is important to keep in mind? | Over the past few weeks, or more like couple months I started to get very close to a friend. We would speak of deeply personal subjects, starting speaking just about daily, and clearly we both have started to develop 'feelings,' for lack of a better term.
When we first started getting to know each other, just as friends, I had spoken of how I don't date. There are many reasons I don't date, but perhaps the biggest reason is I believe you need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another, and I'm not happy. I don't want to rely on someone else in the state I'm in, and it would probably be unfair to anyone that tried to get too close for the time being. My opinion on this won't change.
The way we speak and how others perceive us is changing, and it's because I've been allowing it to materialize beyond what I feel comfortable with. I thought based on what she knew of me and my stance when it came to relationships would protect me and prevent this. It hasn't; we both know we have the hots for each other, and while she wants to be in a relationship, and might already be joking of us being in one, I can't let there be anymore confusion and ground us as close, important friends.
Ooh, now here comes a plot twist! She and I only know each other through an online community, albeit a very social one, and have never met outside of video chats and things of the like... but that is changing really soon, when this community will be getting together for a few days and we'll both be attending.
I have reasons to believe she expects our none relationship to develop into a sexual one during this time, and I don't want that. With anyone. I've decided I need to clear on what I expect and understand what she expects before we meet up, and I need to help with this inevitable conversation.
"It's not you, it's me" won't cut it, and I need help knowing what to keep in mind, what aspects I need to be sure to hit and what to avoid when we do have this conversation. | I need to have a "it's not you, it's me" conversation with a close friend, and I need help with this. |
t3_1ncm65 | relationships | I [18 M] like a girl [20 F] who doesn't want a relationship and does things with other guys (including me), should I end this? | About 6 months ago I started talking to a sister of one of my classmates, we're both pretty weird and we have similar personality's so we hit it off pretty good. We both have anxiety disorders so it took a while for us to actually start hanging out but once we did it was great.
I started to really like her a couple of months ago, so I told her. She said I shouldn't like her because she's slutty and I don't know her. Obviously I didn't listen and still liked her. A couple weeks later I told her again (in person) that I really liked her, she said the same thing and said that she didn't want a relationship but said that she would teach me how to kiss and stuff (by the way this is the first girl I've ever done anything with). First we started making out whenever we hung out, but then we started cuddling and sleeping in the same bed and sharing intimate things. Last week we started becoming more romantic like laying under the stars all night cuddling and now we just started doing sexual things. Since we've been hanging out it has felt like we are basically in a relationship.
The thing is she just got out of a 2 year relationship and she has told me about other guys and girls (she is bi) she did stuff with. We only see eachother like once a week because I'm in college and she works a lot. This weekend I missed her and wanted to hang with her but she said she was visiting some guy that she hadn't seen in 2 years and was going to sleep at his place. I asked her if she does stuff with other guys and she told me she does. Now I know you're thinking "fuck this bitch, cut all ties", I probably will end up cutting ties with her because I am becoming too emotionally attached. Before I do that though I wanted to try something. If I told her that I don't want to do things with her (making out, etc...) because I want us to be different than her other guys would she start to like me more. | I like a girl (who is also a friend) who doesn't want a relationship. She does things with me and other guys. I want to be her boyfriend but it prolly won't happen. |
t3_ieudr | AskReddit | Attorneys of Reddit (or those "in the law know") ... I have a court date soon and I have little to no faith in my public defender, so I'm curious: | If he isn't doing my case any justice during the trial, should I ask the judge for more time to seek better counsel or should I just represent myself?
Do judges allow for that?
I know this seems like a ridiculous (read: naive, moronic, damning) question, but every time I meet up with my PD (who, when I google him, find he's looking to get out of his profession), he's combatant and argumentative with me.
I have a feeling the guy doesn't give a crap whether I'm exonerated or found guilty, but at the same time know I'm pretty good at making my case, no matter the issue.
It's a jury trial and I chose so.
I'm a broke student/freelance journalist and I can't afford "proper" representation (no offense, PDs ... I've met some really cool ones, but the one I've been assigned is not).
I could write for years, but let me be as brief as I can: | I think my public defender doesn't give a shit, but I'm not 100 percent sure. If he sucks during the trial, am I allowed to ask for a new trial? Or should I just rep myself? |
t3_2akexo | relationships | My [18/m] Boyfriend moved recently. I feel we've grown distant and I [17/f] Don't really know why or what to do... | My [18/m] Boyfriend moved 4,000 away from me [17/f] just about 4 1/2 weeks ago. We had discussed many times about how we would cope with a distance, talking and keeping in touch and not growing distant although knowing it wasn't going to be easy.
Recently I have found he has no interest at all in fact to talk to me, and when we do it is at most times with a group of 3 or more. It seems he has prioritized his friends over me, or hes lost interest in me. I found out even that he applied for a job, I wouldn't have know hadn't his friend shared with me. I do not bombard him with messages, I do not pester him when he is with his games, ( I play games also ). I will usually leave him a message or two saying that if he decides he wants to play games or talk. I am here. Usually I get no replies or a simple "k".
All my attempts to try to have a conversation with him fail, Always. I have talked to him about what I feel, I have told him how I feel the lack of him caring. But i feel he's not really listening to me, and may think I am rambling or nagging him. I don't want this relationship to end anytime soon. We really have a strong connection but lately I don't know what to do, and I'm just confused.
I know I am young, but please still take me seriously. | I feel Since he has moved away we've grown distant, and he's lost interest in me. Am I making myself too available? |
t3_p0bzy | dating_advice | What is the best way to tell a guy you don't want to hook up anymore? | 21/F here, hooked up with 21/M a few times in a span of half a year. I was quick to realize I was not cut out for FWB-type relationship and I told him I didn't want to hook up anymore. I told him I'd be willing to be friends or try a relationship but he didn't want a relationship. So we chose the friend option.
We continued to hang out after I told him this but once or twice, the sexual tension was too great and one thing lead to another. After each hook up, I feel even more terrible than I did before hooking up.
I have developed feelings but that's irrelevant because he said he wasn't up for a serious relationship anytime soon. | don't want to be his benefit buddy anymore, how should I present this idea in the most effective way possible while maintaining a friendship? |
t3_2ro1h8 | relationships | My boyfriend (30/m) asked me(26/f) if he can marry his ex to get her green card and I don't know if he still find her attractive | I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months.
He just asked me if he should marry his ex to get her green card and because she is rich, she can give him money in return. She didn't get her working visa this year so she might have to go back to her country.
I asked if he really want to marry her and he told me he was just kidding but he think its a good way to make money and he told me they don't have to live together. He told me I shouldn't have cared about what he said if our relationship is strong enough.
Now they're still text chatting, I know he always omit something that he thinks is inappropriate for me to know. I remember few months ago, he mentioned about her and told me she's attractive.
I don't know what I should say to him and if he's still attracted to her. Or can I ask him to show me their convos? | My boyfriend (30/m) asked me(26/f) if he can marry his ex to get her green card and I don't know if he still find her attractive. |
t3_2yiqox | tifu | TIFU by getting my dad's car stuck in the mud 30 miles out of town | So, my boyfriend is going out of town for a while and my truck is in the shop, and my father let me borrow his car so that I could see him the day before he leaves. It is worth mentioning that it has rained more in the past two days than I have seen in my city in the past two years. After surviving the drive to his house, I parked in his driveway and went in to spend the day watching movies. When I went to leave, I realized that I couldn't see shit. You see, I drive an '87 Chevy Silverado; its all windows. I can see everything around me. My fathers '07 Cobalt, however is a fast back with a spoiler, which means you can't see a damn thing out the back. So I tried to back out, and got stuck in a patch of mud in his driveway. We didn't have a truck to pull it out with, and it was buried to the fender. We still don't know exactly how we're going to get it out what with all the rain and mud. | Got somebody else's car stuck in the next county over, and can't get it out for probably at least a week. |
t3_1jvcml | AskReddit | Reddit, what are your experiences with Homeopathy? Has it ever worked for you, or been a waste of time? Personal experiences only please. Science already extrapolates that it should NOT work. | The reason I ask is that when talking to one of my Mechanical Engineering professors, he went off on one of his typical but interesting tangents and told us about his experiences with homeopathy. I would like it to be noted that this is an incredibly high-functioning and intelligent man we are talking about, not some run of the mill person who happens to have a doctorate.
He told us he has been colour-blind all his life, and that when he mentioned this to his homeopathist he was given a mixture to take. After a few hours began to see reds and blues and later that night he even hallucinated in colour (through dreaming or some other means, I'm not sure).
He further told us that what got him into this form of "medicine" was that he went to a homeopathist out of desperation for a cough he had been plagued with for tow years, and the cough was gone once taking the prescribed treatment. He went on to mention something about tablets under the tongue curing a soldering iron burn on his finger in 6 hours, witnessed by the employees in his factory.
Another fact that I am yet to research was his mention of a sickness where 50% of those treated by scientific/traditional medicine (time period dependant) died and only 15% of those treated by homeopathic medicine died. He said it had been hushed up. | High-functioning and intelligent professor in engineering prefers homeopathy over modern medicine because of what it has done for him. |
t3_117sym | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm a broke 21 year-old that owes hundreds of dollars to a medical lab without ever giving consent. What can I do? | A few months ago I came back from living abroad. I was super sick the last few days before I left and felt like I was about to die by the time I made it back home to my country.
I went to go see the doctor the next day. I didn't have any health insurance, but I was willing and understanding of the doctors visit fee.
I went to the doctor and they tested me for strep and told me they would be doing a strep culture. They sent me on my way after I paid the $180 doctors visit along with the cost of the strep tests. It was all detailed on a sheet of paper so I knew what I was paying for.
The next week I recieved a letter in the mail from Dynacare that I owed them one sum of $160 and another sum of $502. I never consented to any lab fees, and it was never explained to me what they did. My tests for strep came back negative and the doctor never figured out what was wrong, and just gave me a generic antibiotic.
I keep receiving letters from Dynacare that I owe them $662 (though I've never been shown for what) and if I do not pay them immediately they will hand the case over to a credit bureau.
Reddit, what can I do? | Went to the doctor. Payed $180. Received letter that I owe $662 to a lab. Don't know what it was for and never consented. Now in debt? |
t3_2xd8d1 | tifu | TIFU by hiring a dog walker based off her profile pic | This past week, I went on a website to find a dog sitter/walker (not trying to advertise the site; easy to find). I usually use my parents, but they're too far away and I needed someone for this Saturday. Plus it'd be nice to have them available for the future if it works out.
Anyway, I'm on that website glancing through profiles, and I come cross a female college student who advertises herself as an 'huge animal lover'. She works with rescue groups, donates to various charitable animal orgs, etc.
She had a few pics up with her and her dogs and she was extremely cute, but I also liked her profile and her pricing was where I wanted to be. Her pics were pretty basic, not heavy on makeup or anything risque. I contacted her through the site and arranged a meet and greet the next day.
I have a girlfriend but we don't live together yet, so she wasn't there for the meeting. But it went very well and I'm confident she can handle my dog properly, so we agreed on the Saturday deal. And she was very attractive, well put together. Just a bonus right?
Now after all that, I wanted to look her up online so I can know about the person I'm letting into my house (naturally). It didn't take long for me to discover she's done all kinds of modeling, including nudes in Playboy, even very recently. Of course she hadn't mentioned this to me (not my business) and nor do I care (it is cool though), but I cannot imagine how my girlfriend will take this.
I'm just not going to say anything about it and play dumb if it ever comes up somehow. Just hoping it doesn't. On the flipside, I have a Playboy model walking my dog, so I've got that going for me. | Found a girl to watch my dog off a website, turns out she's a Playboy model who does nude shoots. Unsure how my GF will take it. |
t3_1bkipg | Dogtraining | I just adopted a rescue dog and he is extremely well behaved around me, but as soon as I leave he goes crazy. | The shelter dog I just adopted is very calm and obedient around me. He does everything I say and he never barks. He follows me everywhere. He is amazing on a leash and he even gets along with my cat. A friend of mine brought his boston terrier over and after introducing them slowly, they ended up playing together in the snow for almost an hour. I've had him for a week, and I've already thought him a few tricks.
The problem is, everytime I leave the house, he becomes destructive. I tried keeping him in the basement with his toys, but he was able to climb through or jump over every gate I used. He is an escape artist. I also left him by himself in the house a few times to try it out, but he destroyed tissue boxes, sponges, bags and curtains. Just me taking a shower is enough for him to go through a few garbage bins around the house. Today, he was able to get the fish food off the top shelf and he ate it all.
How can I make sure he stays calm and chews on his toys while I am gone? I feel like I am doing something wrong, or maybe he is scared.
He is a 3.5 years old lab mix and he is very small. The shelter told me that he was taken away from his owner along with two other dogs and two cats. They were tied up outside a house and they were rarely fed. Now, he makes me very happy and he loves to cuddle! | The dog is calm and cuddly when I am home, goes on a rampage as soon as I leave. Help? |
t3_2m3m28 | relationships | I need to learn not to give my heart away so fast [21M] | I started dating my first serious gf when I was fifteen. Within three weeks, I told her I loved her, and was 100% convinced that we would get married and live happily ever after. I reoriented my life around her, picked my college based on where she went, etc.
Fast forward five years - we break up, and in less than 24 hours I fall in love with a new girl, my second serious girlfriend. Within two weeks we've said I love you and decided we're going to get married, have kids, etc.
Fast forward 8 months to now, and our relationship is about to end. I feel so sad, and drained, and most of all like I can't trust myself to think I'm in love, and can't trust myself to think I've found 'the one'. I feel like I've given these pieces of myself away and won't ever get them back. How do I move forward? How do I know when I've found something special if I've been so wrong twice before? How do I keep myself from falling so hard so quickly for the first girl I go on a date with after becoming single?
Thanks for the help. I really appreciate it. | Over and over I fall in love with and become 100% invested in the first girl I date. I feel empty and am afraid to ever trust myself to think I've ever found the girl for me. |
t3_wwaxg | AskReddit | I have automatonophobia (fear of wax statues), it's awkward because it means I can't go to museums and other interesting places. Have you ever had or still have a fear of something that stopped you from doing something you were interested in? | When I was younger I loved going to the museum and the art gallery but as I got older I got scared of the wax models and statues in them (It did get me through a whole dinosaur exhibit for free once though, when we should have paid £6 each).
Even now, I'm nineteen and soon to be twenty in october and I still can't stand wax models and statues. I freeze up around them, either start crying (embarrassing to admit...) or start shivering uncontrollably and think they're moving when I can't see them, or even out of the corner of my eye. When I was really REALLY young I actually thought one of them was moving when I stared at it for too long. Once I actually admitted this to my friends and they took it as a joke and didn't believe me and joked about forcing me to go into Madame Tussauds to prove it and the thought of that terrified me. I've had this fear long before the weeping angels were on Doctor Who as well.
Speaking of Doctor Who, I desperately hate the fact I'm afraid of wax statues because now I can't enjoy the Doctor Who Experience (something I really wish I could go to). I also can't go to the Life Centre, an interactive science museum in Newcastle, or go on museum trips with my friends. | Scared of wax statues, can't go to Doctor Who Experience or museum with friends. Don't like that much. Got threatened with Madame Tussauds. |
t3_e6vch | AskReddit | Should i break up with my girlfriend (again)? How? | my girlfriend's name is stephanie. we're both in our mid twenties, dating just over a year and half. she makes me happy a lot of the time when we hang out and we have many things in common.
the problem is that she's looking for more commitment than i am and it feels like she loves me more than i love her. for example she expects me to talk to her all the time every day even on days when i work all day (i'm a lawyer so very busy). she'll get angry if i don't do this and says it's a normal part of a relationship. also she's not very patient when we have arguments and i feel like she's just acting upset so that i'll pay attention to her.
about three months ago i got tired of all this and told her it was over. but she cried so much that i started to regret it. it was sad that i was losing someone that means a lot to me and i just acted like i never broke up with her. she still wants to stay together but every day i just feel like i do not want to see her. i'm not excited about the relationship any more.
what should i do? how can i end the relationship while avoiding hurting her? | broke up with my girlfriend three months ago, tried to work it out, not sure i want to any more. what should i do? |
t3_126qqk | relationships | My girlfriend[17f]'s friend told her that he wanted to fuck her. How should I [17m] respond to this? | We are both in high school. We've been together for 6-7 months but we've broken up several times in the past month. She changes her mind on how she feels about me every week it seems like. My girlfriend's friend texted her saying that he wanted to have sex with her. I don't know who he is and I'm pretty sure he lives in a nearby city. She doesn't think this is a problem because she didn't act on it or anything but they still text. He didn't know that she had a bf, but he still texts her. He did twice last night when we were hanging out. My gf says they are just friends.
Should I be worried or tell her to stop texting him? I know she would be mad at me for having a lack in trust in her but she has cheated on me before when she was extremely drunk. What should I do here? | A friend of my gf told her that he wanted to have sex with her. How should I respond to this? |
t3_nrt1d | relationship_advice | My boyfriend and his art. | He has no feelings for her. However when he made a series of pieces based on real life "romantic moments" (such as conversations by the lake, or picnics in the woods), half of the pieces were based on their moments and the other half were based on ours. The pieces based on their moments were more positive and happy than the ones based on the ones with me. Mutual friends who saw the series in his exhibition noticed this as well, so I'm not exaggerating.
The thing is, they were only together for a month or so while we have been together for five years.
I tried to ask him why he chose some negative memories for the pieces based on us as opposed to five years of happy ones to choose from... but he got angry and accused me of being jealous and trying to censor/change his art. I'm not jealous. Well, I'm definitely not jealous of *her*. I just wished the happy ones were based on me, but I can't really change that.
Anyway, after I told him how I felt about the series, I left the subject alone. It is his art and I have no say in what he does with it.
What do you guys think? | Boyfriend makes a series of art pieces. Half of them are happy ones based on him and his ex. Half of them are not so happy ones based on him and I. This is fine, right? |
t3_2726ds | relationships | Me [23m] broke up with my gf [23f] of two years after I cheated on her. | I'm looking for advice.
I've just broken up with girlfriend of 2 years after I had a drunken kiss with another girl last Friday. I resisted and felt bad but did kiss her, and left before things could escalate further. I then proceeded to tell her that it had happened.
I originally gave her space to decide but after a conversation, it's occurred to me that I'm not fighting for her. She's my best friend and I feel absolutely ashamed that I allowed things to get to this point, and that I've broken her heart, but I think I've done what's right for me.
I keep looking back on the past 2 years and thinking of all the great times we've had, despite having our problems, and how much I'm going to miss it all. I think I'm going to regret my decision, but I can't go back to her if I do - it's just not fair on her. She's had her share of jerks in the past and doesn't deserve any more.
Can anyone comment on this? This is the first time I've ever broken up with anyone and I don't know what I'm meant to do/feel. | Broke up with gf after I kissed someone else. Feel like shit, but feel like I've done the right thing. Can't help but think I'll regret this. Is this common in breakups? |
t3_4vs8yf | legaladvice | [NYC] Getting a place with my SO, he's currently unemployed, I'm lower income, but with strong credit & guarantors | Hi there!
NYC Apartment hunt here we go!
I've live in the city for about 6 years now. 3 leases, 2 sublets. I'm no stranger to the market here and how GOD AWFUL it is. So this is a two part question for you today:
1.) I'm moving in with my boyfriend. His company shut down mid-April, he's been enjoying some time off very comfortably with a generous severance package and is now beginning his job hunt. He's got poor credit, but is for all intents and purposes financially stable. However, he does not have a guarantor to sign for him as I'm assuming he'd to assure our future landlord he's not just going to be unemployed forever.
I've had consistent employment for three years. However I'm an hourly worker. And my yearly income is low. But my credit score is OUTSTANDING (yay adulthood!). All of my previous leases have included myself and my roommates as tenants, each with our respective guarantors.
Is it hopeless looking for a place with an unemployed BF with no guarantor, or will my parents as guarantor, combined with my credit score and somewhat steady income be enough, or are we doomed?
2.) I am no fool- as I said in the past my parents have never been the sole guarantors on leases I've shared with roommates. Obviously this is responsible. OBVIOUSLY they are hesitant because- young love!
Over a year ago I ended a joint lease with an ex and that situation became much stickier than it should have ever been and I ended up losing a lot of money. However- different men, different circumstances. I trust my partner now. But we've both gone through similar situations and want to be iron clad going into this.
If my parents sign on as guarantor to both of us on the lease- is there some sort of secondary contract/promissory note/etc. that could be written up between me and my boyfriend ensuring that throughout the terms of our lease he would remain ultimately responsible for his half? | 1. I'm poor with good credit and guarantors. He's unemployed with money and bad credit. No guarantors. Are we doomed? |
t3_2x646n | Advice | I don't know what to do, but I'm way too stressed! | So basically this, I fell into a job that is, technically fantastic. Good money, benefits, etc. The problem is, is that I really don't belong here, I'm extremely underqualified for the job and have basically been winging it for almost a year now. A lot of the time it can be pretty lax which is I think how I've made it as far as I have. Now though, things are getting way too intense and stressful (I have pretty bad anxiety) and I just know in my heart that I am not doing anyone any services by being here.
I really would love to just go back to my old job of washing dishes or cooking at a restaurant because it's a mindless task I can more or less zone out on, but I also am suffering from chronic respiratory failure and so going back to a job like that may not be physically possible, as well I now have a 365$ a month car payment that I didn't have before (because I started commuting to this new job and so I went and bought a car).
So I don't know what to do! I only have the skills from this job and from restaurant work so there is no way I can get another job even close to this one as far as pay goes, so I feel like I'm absolutely stuck here!
I also have a wife and daughter to think about too, so I just feel like I am hopelessly stuck and I Just need to continue trying my hardest to work here and be stressed and worried every single day of my life unless I just so happen to find another job that is somewhat close to this one in pay and doesn't require too much physical activity.
Any advice I'm sure will be helpful at this point. | Stuck in a job I'm unsuited for because of physical and financial limitations, constantly miserable from the stress and worry. Don't have the skills to put on a resume to find another job even close to this one. |
t3_3badri | relationships | Me [25F] found my boyfriends [24M] POF.com account, hes looking to just hook up, debating on catfishing? | So throw away bc reasons.
Backstory:
I had been with him for about 7-8 years. We were great together: sexually/mentally/emotionally. We have had a pretty dry sex life the past 2 years bc I am struggling with a lot of things (depression, shit work, close family member deaths). He has been particularly vocal about it and distant towards me the past 2 months. It seemed to me as though he and our roommate (my bff) had been getting close lately, so I was getting a bit insecure. And I might have gone into his browsing history and seen he signed up for POF.com. It mentions he is in a relationship and living with me and that hes only looking for sex.
I just need to know how stupid it is of me to pretend to be some fake girl and meet him somewhere and bust him.
Or see if he even does it. I have a looming sensation that he might not be cold hearted enough to go through with it. | to catfish or not to catfish; what if i play pretend on POF.com and he doesnt go through with it? |
t3_12f4xr | relationships | F[21] and M[25] In a rut, need to end it or fix it. Having a hard time doing either. | So my boyfriend and I have been together for just under a year. He's a rough, Southeast Texas country boy and can be crude, and I'm soft spoken, creative, and quite sensitive. Our personalities tend to clash a little bit, but for the most part its always been in a playful bickering sort of way. Never really took it too seriously.
As of the last few weeks though, we've been arguing about really stupid things. NO ONE makes me angry like he does, usually I can just brush it off or get over it quickly.. But I've been FREAKING out.. and having a hard time controlling the anger. I just started working full time and going to school at night about 6 months ago, so my schedule is full all day- everyday. He is pretty much the only person I see outside of work and school with the exception of a few friends that I'll occasionally see every other weekend.. So that is why he is the only one I get angry at, but I've never gotten SO angry! He is also going to work and school.. so we've both been under a bit of stress but instead of coming together to make it through this time, we've been fighting. Its like we're both on the defense towards each other.
When I try to think of why we fight, or specifically what.. I have a hard time remembering. And when we argue about whatever conflict we have at the moment, we have a hard time communicating or understanding each other.. We take care of each other though, and neither of us want to break up. But we just keep fighting, and don't really get to see each other as much (once or twice a week for a few hours) compared to a few months ago when we spend everyday together. I love him to death! But lately I feel like I'm the one who cares more, and I'm having a hard time balancing the pros and cons. I don't know if it would be better for us to break up, or keep trying. Or what I can do to help us work better. Any suggestions? Advice? :/ | F[21] and M[25].. High stress relationship, need tips on how to control anger, sensitivity.. How we can come together..or whether we should just cut our losses and move on. |
t3_33rhk7 | legaladvice | [Texas] I have been threatened and think something will happen to me in near future. | Preface: I live in Texas. Just a couple months ago I had a roommate with whom I had a falling out with. (He thinks I chose a girl over his friendship. I've thought now for a while he has extremely serious anger issues and unknown, untreated mental disorders.) Things were on edge the last couple months but I kept to myself to avoid unwanted conflict. I paid all the rent, all the bills even though his name was alone on the lease. I recouped the majority, but not all, of the money he owed me shortly before moving out. Throughout the entirety of the split he has talked trash about me to me, friends, anyone he can. That's fine I'm above it and just ignore.
Here we are two months since then. He is on probation for a DUI, is using hard drugs, probably depressed, extremely angry, and just so volatile and unpredictable. He tells mutual friends the next time he sees me he is going to "kick my ass" and "beat my head in". It's not that I am afraid so much of these threats but I don't want it to impact my job or life in general. I feel a confrontation is coming and am asking /r/legaladvice's advice on how to handle. Mainly what happens when I see him next? I will try to leave to scene with no conflict but am certain something will happen. What actions should I take if and when they do? Also I should mention he doesn't have a permanent address due to moving around for work. He stays at his moms place or friends or aunts but I never know when.
Thanks for reading! | Ex-roommate says he's going to "beat my head in". Confrontation is unavoidable. What do? |
t3_enal5 | relationship_advice | I think my boyfriend is about to tell me has an STD. How can I convince him that I'm okay with this and that I accept him anyway? | My boyfriend and I had a serious talk tonight about something. He says he can't sleep with me for a little while but he is having a hard telling me why.
He explained only that "this has happened before" and that he hoped it would go away soon but it hasn't. He has all but come out and told me that he has an STD.
He thinks that if he tells me exactly what's going on that I'll break up with him. I told him how much I loved him, which made me cry a little expressing that (I'm crazy about him!). An STD is not going to make me break up with him. I can deal with it somehow.
So, how can I make him feel accepted and that everything is going to be okay? He's kind of messed up right now because he wants to tell me but can't bring himself to do it. | I think my bf has an STD and is trying to tell me. He thinks I'll break up with him; how do I get it through his head that everything is going to be okay? |
t3_ogxgx | AskReddit | Have you or a co-worker ever risked employment or gotten fired to stand up against something that is clearly wrong? | This is a story my mother told me about her fiancee.
He is a former Marine MP who was stationed in Hawaii in the early 90s. He held the rank of Major so he was high up in the ranks from what I understand. One day two MPs arrested the General's 15 year old daughter for being drunk and underage and had drugs on her (My mother didn't know what type of drugs. The General ordered him to not only drop all charges against his daughter, but to also reprimand the MPs. He couldn't bring himself to reprimand the two MPs who were both just doing his job so he refused to carry out the order. It became such a big deal that he was forced to retire as major instead of as a Lieutenant Colonel as he had planned. I think that says a lot about his character. | Mom's fiancee is a former Marine who refused to let a General abuse his power. Retired instead following orders to wrongfully punish his subordinates. |
t3_2ym9yi | relationships | Boyfriend [M 19] doesn't want to have sex with me[F 19] | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. For the past week he has been indifferent and whenever I try to insinuate anything sexual or try to be more intimate, he brushes it off.
Around a week ago, we had sex for our first time and he threw out his back trying to lift me. (No, I am not fat. No, he is not weak. I think it was just the weird position- I was lying on his bed with my legs wrapped around his waist. He was on his knees and bent over me) The entire situation was just bizarre and a little ridiculous. I apologized to him afterwards since I feel like it was my fault and he apologized too. We haven't mentioned this situation since that brief moment. Yet, I have a gut feeling that this may be the issue.
I'm quite frustrated because I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and that our relationship is slowing to an awkward halt. He isn't as sweet and clingy (for lack of better terms) as before. I really don't understand why he is acting like he is and don't know what he's thinking or feeling. What should I do? Break up with him? | Boyfriend has not wanted to have sex again after our first try and has been distant. Why is he like that? What should I do? |
t3_34baps | relationships | Me [25F] with my SO [26M] married 3 yrs together 5, facebook and marriage? | I know that is such a vague question...
I've been searching subs for a post like this and haven't found one close enough to my situation. Hopefully I'm not beating a dead horse.
The incident that prompted this post happened when I logged into fb and the first thing I see is a picture of my husband's ex that we're both friends with in a bikini and a headline saying "frill_chill's husband likes so and so's picture from July 2014". JULY 2014.
My initial feelings were hurt because (and this is where I start to question if my feelings are justified/normal/over the top…) he never shows me attention on social media- ever. He is mostly a fb lurker and doesn't post or like many things. And also because this isn't the first time it's happened, but with other people (this can also be said of Instagram). Then I felt a little disgusted because, this wasn't a "look at me I'm sexy in my bikini pic". It was a candid, belly hanging out bikini pic. I look 100x better in a bikini than she does in that picture. Then I felt disrespected because who else is seeing that he is liking his ex-girlfriend's bikini pics from almost a year ago? It's not like she posted it today, he had to have been looking through her pictures to find it.
To go along with feeling disrespected, he "likes" inappropriate pages (as close to porn as fb will allow).
I'm having such a hard time trying to navigate between feeling immature for having issues with what my husband "likes" (or doesn't like when it comes to things I post) on fb and holding him accountable for things that may be questionable.
So my questions:
What do you consider ok for your SO to do on/with their facebook? Would you forbid them from doing certain things or accept that they have a private facebook page to do what they want? | Small things about my husband's fb activity has been bothering me. Where do you draw the lines when it comes to your SO and fb? |
t3_2itxhf | relationships | Honeymoon phase over for me [30M] but my gf [26F] still in it and now we have different expectations | We started dating in February and the first seven months were absolute bliss. We both loved spending every free minute we could with each other (by ourselves at times and in a group at other times). We have a great relationship and I have no doubt there is a future here.
But over the past month I've noticed I don't look forward to seeing her like I used to. I told her all this--in a respectful manner using I statements (we have great communication!)--and I said I imagine if I didn't see or talk to her for like a month I would be going crazy for her. Obviously that arrangement wouldn't work out, but I was just using it to make a point--that I need some time away in order to miss her and look forward to seeing her.
Also, I'm guessing some people might think "Well, maybe you two just aren't meant to be." It would be most helpful though if your comments steered clear of that. I'm looking for how we can compromise and what I can do to reassure her when she feels worthless that I don't want to see her this day, that day, the next day, etc. It breaks my heart that she hurts so much knowing I only want to see her a couple days a week. | She wants to spend *at least* three or four days a week together whereas I don't want constant communication anymore and only want to spend like two.days a week together. What do we do? |
t3_1amfe2 | relationship_advice | [27/f] I'm having trust issues with my husband [27/m] | A little background:
Husband and I have been married for 5 years, no kids. Last year, he and I almost split up after he admitted to having feelings for a much younger coworker. He didn't physically cheat, but there was an emotional affair between them. It got to a point where he even said he wasn't sure he was still in love with me, and we did consider divorce. After spending just under 2 weeks apart, we got back together, and things have been going ok for the most part since. He also transferred to another work location with the same company, so he is no longer in contact with this girl. I also made it clear that I didn't want him communicating with her via text, email, or Facebook.
The issue:
There are times when I have this urge to go through his phone and check his messages to see if he's been calling/texting/IM'ing her. That's actually how I found out about their "affair" the first time, so I've learned to listen to my gut feeling. I hadn't found anything, but then again, I get the feeling that he would think ahead to delete anything before I could find it. Today, I read a conversation he had with a mutual friend of his and this other girl from work. My husband and I were both invited to go out to a game, and the friend mentioned that "the girl" was also going to be there. I saw my husband's reply, and he said that it would just be him going. The work friend expressed that he would like to see us both there, but it looks like my husband didn't reply. This was 2 days ago, and my husband hasn't mentioned to me anything about us being invited to this game. Am I being paranoid, or does it seem like he wants this opportunity to see this girl again without me knowing about it? I'm so tempted to confront him directly, but I'm also afraid because I'd have to admit to him that I've been snooping through his phone. Any advice would be appreciated. | Husband has a chance to see old crush from work, not sure if I can trust him not to have old feelings resurface. |
t3_umfej | AskReddit | Guy super grossed out by periods and poop? | So I've been kind of into this guy who's been a family friend for a while now. We've started spending a lot more time together and texting a lot. But apparently he's super grossed out by periods - like he won't even talk about them. Same with most any other bodily function (kind of the "girls don't poop" mindset, except he's not kidding about it.)
It seems like he has this ridiculous ideal that girls are spotless and perfect and they smell like daisies 100% of the time. Kind of getting to be a deal-breaker for me if I can't feel comfortable being a normal human being around him. Some ladies have really horrible cramps, sometimes things leak when they're not supposed to. Sometimes we don't feel like shaving our legs or we sweat and smell bad and get puke-sick and it's not pretty.
Any other guys have feelings about this and do you recommend I bring it up at all with him? And any ladies have this issue with an SO? | guy I'm interested in is overly grossed out by periods/poop/girls having bodily functions. Do I address it? |
t3_et9zw | AskReddit | Serious question: How do I get my parents off my back and allow me to live my own life? | Sorry about this long post, I'll try to slim it down:
More so lately, I feel as if my parents won't let go and let me make my own decisions and become a sensible, contributing person of society.
I'm almost 20 years old, in my second year of university and yet I still have a curfew (10 on weekdays, regardless of whether i have school the next day, 12 usually on weekends). I am a female, the youngest of two older brothers...
But really, it's finally hit me just how bad it is.
I just got into an argument with both my parents about buying a plant grower. A fucking plant grower. I told them my friend had one and that it was well worth the money and that it hardly took any effort..
The main answer from them was that I was wasting my money and that I was stupid to consider it because the company would try to fuck me over (which they then went into detail about companies that fucked them over - AKA reader's digest shit (which imo, is unrelated to the concept of buying my product). They berate my ideas and attempts at trying to be more self sufficient. My mom even mentioned my other attempts at trying to be healthy or more conscious and said I was basically worthless because I never succeeded in any of them.
I honestly even tried to talk to them calmly, with no yelling but by the end I just walked out on them.
It's very difficult for me to even remain calm in front of my parents anymore because of their viewpoints. I do understand that they're trying to look out for me, but every time I try to come up with ideas for myself in order to self improve, I just get thrown down and yelled at. I know I should ignore it, but it's my parents and it's taken a toll towards my self worth.
Idk. Really, I'm just looking for any stories or advice from anyone.
Thanks.. | Need to get parents off my back and appreciate my attempts at what I think is important and let me become an adult. |
t3_1ykmr7 | relationships | My [25F] gift idea for my boyfriend's 30th birthday. | We were friends for a solid three years, turned into hooking in early January, to a committed relationship in early February. We get along amazingly well. Totally happy. It's just working out flawlessly.
That being said. Though we are super close and have known each other a while, we're still fairly new into a relationship. However, his 30th birthday is early next month and, well, that's a pretty big deal. He's hosting a party at the bar he works at. I'll be there, obviously. And I took off work the next day so we could enjoy the entire night and morning together.
But as far as gifts go - I don't want to get him too much too soon. But I also don't want to skimp. I know I'm baking him a cake because I love baking and he adores the food I make him. I'm a total domestic homebody like that. I'm perfectly happy with it. But as far as other gifts, I have one idea in mind but I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not. Just thought some input might be good.
So he has a collection of model ships started. He has one built, is building another and needs one more to complete the set. He started this set before we got together. I really want to surprise him and get him the last one he needs to complete it, but I also don't want to take away from a hobby that is his own thing and put my fingerprints on it, so to speak.
Those of you that have hobbies or collections... Would you be ok with your SO doing something like this for you, or would you prefer to keep that to yourself and buy your own model to complete the set. | Want to get my guy the last model in a collection he's been building of model ships. Not sure if it's a good idea or not. |
t3_17d113 | relationships | SO [21M] has been getting more distant and we've been fighting more, which has caused me [21f] to start falling for my ex. | SO and myself have been dating for around over 2 years, but lately the sex has just stopped, and he's more interested in playing an online game then talking with me or interacting with our daughter [3 months].
It's getting to the point where even talking to him while he plays his game leaves him in a sour, annoyed mood. We don't do anything together and he blames that on me because i don't like any of the movies he likes.
I've tried talking to him, and nothing works, he still just plays his games, watches porn, plays porn games, and thats it. There's hardly any communication / interaction between us anymore. When we do have sex it's just sex, there's no love making, there's no romance at all (Even when not having sex) and i'm just getting over it.
I'm starting to fall for my ex again, [22m] , who i dated 3 years ago, and i have no idea what to do, i want to fix our relationship but it's hard when SO doesn't even try. | SO is being distant, gets annoyed when i try to talk to him and the sex is lacking, i'm falling for my ex and have no idea what i should do. |
t3_335zwd | Advice | 22(m) moving from college town with wife. Don't know how to get started. | Hey guys,
Basically I'm 22 years old and about to graduate in august at the end of the summer semester from my 4 year university in Virginia with a Bachelors of Science in **Business Management Information Systems: Web Development**. I'm CompTIA A+ Certified, Microsoft Certified in Word, Excel, Powerpoint and Outlook, and I am proficient in CSS, HTML5, PHP and know some MySQL (I'll know more when my classes for the summer are over).
I currently work a full time position at my university and my wife works at the University part time as well. We enjoy our lives but want to move on once we graduate.
I grew up wanting to live at the beach and now that I'll finally have a degree I feel as if this is a real possibility, the thing is... I don't know where to start. I feel uncomfortable talking to people at work about this as I don't want to let them know that I am looking to leave just yet. I'm not close with my parents and don't want to ask them for help either.
I basically need help figuring out where to start. We have student loan debt from my wife, and are paying off a car, that's our only debt. We want to find a house near the beach, a job near the beach and a job for her as well.
> | My wife and I are trying to move and don't' know how to get started with finding a job in the area near the beach we want to live as well as finding a house. |
t3_4aelvp | running | /r/Running March Madness 2016 Group | Hey guys! I got the idea from /u/ChickenSedan's Miscellaneous Monday post this morning to start a /r/Running March Madness bracket. Maybe there are some other fans or people interested in March Madness this year.
If you've ever done a March Madness bracket, it's exactly how you remember it. If you haven't (or don't follow American college men's basketball (I don't follow it but I like doing March Madness) but want to join in the fun, it's not too hard to learn. It might even be easier than running (Okay..., maybe not that easy).
Once you sign up and join the group, you create a bracket. You pick which team you think will win each matchup/game, until you end up with a winner for who you think the champion will be out of all 64 teams. The numbers next to each team represents their "seed" position. Teams with a lower number (1, 2, 3, etc.) are "predicted" to do better than teams with a higher seed number (14, 15, 16). Of course, everyone loves a good upset (underdog) and teams seeded at 3 have lost to 14 seed teams, etc. There have been other years when all 1 and 2 seed teams reach the Final 4, so it really is a toss-up.
You receive points for each game (or winner) you correctly predict. If you pick incorrectly, you don't get any points for those picks and it hurts your "Possible Points Remaining", since the team you have going to the Final 4 lost their first game. If I've done as horrible a job as I think I did explaining this, please visit the [Wikipedia page](
If you're interested in playing, feel free to sign up at this link: [ I made the group public, so there is no need for a password. There will be no monetary rewards but BRAGGING rights are still a thing (This is the Internet after all). What are you waiting for? Step up to the Madness. | March Madness /r/running [group] You should sign up. No skills/knowledge required. Last year I picked teams based on their school colors. Bragging rights if you win. |
t3_27szst | relationship_advice | [20/m] Gone on 3-4 dates with a girl (23/f), things got more serious for her than I intended. I recently met someone else I want to pursue, don't know how to end it. [20/m] | I was set up on a blind date with a girl through her roommate (who was an actor in a video I shot), and have been seeing her for a few weeks now. I'm attracted to her and have fun hanging out with her, but she's painfully quiet and I'm very outgoing. I like spending time with her, but it often feels like work getting her to to talk.
We've hooked up once, will cuddle when watching TV/movies, have had a few sleepovers, and kiss goodbye when parting ways. We talk roughly every other day, but since she's so shy our conversations only last a few texts.
So my issue is, I met someone else at work who I hit it off right away with, making it apparent that the first girl isn't right for me. The first girl and I never talked about what we were looking for from each other, so I'm not sure if I need to "break up" with her, or can just let it sort of fizzle out. We have mutual friends, and she's a really sweet girl, so I want to make sure to end things in a way that won't cause any sort of bad or hurt feelings.
Normally I'd just have a conversation with her and lay things out, but since she's so quiet, and I get the feeling also somewhat insecure, I'm not sure how to handle this. I feel like she sees it as more of a relationship, where I didn't.
I realize this is a pretty silly issue compared to many of the things people ask for help with in this sub, but I've never been in a situation with two different girls like this and just want to hear some outside advice on a good way to handle it. | Unsure of how quiet girl views "us," and unsure of how to talk to her about it. Want to end things without hurting any feelings to pursue someone else I met. |
t3_2x3mjq | relationships | My ex [24/m] and me [22/f] of two years. I think he's playing me for a fool | We had been dating for two years. We had our shares of ups and downs. He'd often go on breaks, and we would stay out of touch. But that's okay since in the end, he would come back and that is all what mattered to me EVER!
But about two months ago, he broke up and I tried to reason things out with him because apparently it seemed we were throwing away our relationship over a petty argument. I kept my distance, gave him space.
However, yesterday, he wrote to me saying "I still love you but a part of me which craved relationships is dead. and it isn't because of what you did, it's not because of my work either, it's because of my family. I have become this way because of them"
I know his family has issues and he'd often share them with me and I'd support him throughout. But this is so freakin' weird. I spoke to his sister to know if there was something I could do to help. She yelled back at me to leave him alone.
Definitely I'm not going back to him. But I'm just curious if it's natural for some person to just walk out of someone's life on their whims? Should I be okay with it?
Where do you think, I could have gone wrong? | I just can't seem to gather myself up. It's been two months for god's sake. I need some clarity |
t3_2zv0vf | askwomenadvice | She [21f] cancelled our date last night due to illness and didn't respond to my [26m] text this afternoon but she's been online. Should I be concerned? | A couple weeks ago I met a girl on OkCupid. We immediately hit it off and after some lengthy conversation we set up our first date which went really well and ended with me kissing her. On Monday night we went out again, and again had a great time, ending the night with her coming over to watch TV with me before we made out heavily then had good sex. She spent the night and we lay in bed until about noon just talking.
We scheduled another date for last night, but she cancelled about five hours before saying:
"Hey I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it tonight :( I'm at work now and I feel terrible. I don't know if it's what I ate for lunch or what, but I don't feel well. I'll let you know how it goes as the night goes on but as of now I feel like shit"
I tell her that we can reschedule and an hour later she responds:
"Okay, I still feel pretty bad :( I'm going to try to leave work early and go lay down. I'm sorry."
About 5 hours ago I sent her a message asking how she was feeling but didn't get a response. I saw she was browsing OkC a couple hours ago. Is she pulling a fade or am I getting worked up over nothing? This is the first girl I've met whom I've been really attracted to and I'm wondering if I'm just being neurotic here. | met girl, had two great dates and mutually orgasmic sex, now I feel like she's going quiet on me. |
t3_1xc0bg | relationship_advice | [20/f] Really fucked it up with my crush [24/m] or is it even worth it? | Alright, this is a pretty long story, but I'll try to keep it short and sweet.
Over the summer, I had recently broke up with a boyfriend of 2 years, and this guy - we'll call him JD - had soon after messaged me on facebook, telling me how he would really like to get coffee with me and get to know me (he was one of my good friend's friends). I agreed and we met up and it was the best day. I ended up staying the night at his place to cuddle that night, then we hung out with each other for three/four days/nights straight and had the best conversations. I fell head over heels for him.
(here's where it gets complicated) I'm an idiot, and didn't think I was good enough for him, so I started messing around with someone else and he kind of went off too so it wasn't awful on either part. I then started actually dating this other guy - for about a month - and I broke up with him because I realized I still had feelings for JD.
well. now JD has a girlfriend.
BUT we're starting to become friends again, and Monday night JD was supposed to come over and have dinner with me and a few friends. but he bailed and said "I like you a lot and don't know what to do/how to feel" in a text as the reason he didn't come.
I really like this guy. and I don't believe in missed opportunities so I've texted him a few times explaining how I kind of feel. But he won't discuss it with me. And I don't want to be a homewrecker. I'm just very conflicted. | I really like JD, we have a past - he has a girlfriend now, but has led me to believe that he still has feelings for me. What do? |
t3_4114ax | tifu | TIFU by leaving my wallet in a convenience store | I was leaving school today at around 5:30pm. I had a very long day and was indeed very tired as any student leaving school at 5:30 would be, so I decided I would get a small iced coffee on my way home.
On my way of the school lot, I see convenience store across the street, and had one of those weird unsupported decisions where I just didn't wanna go through a drive-thru to get a coffee. Parking spaces are full, guess I should just park in a gas filly spot. This subconsciously tells me I have to hurry if four people need to fill up there cars all at once and I'll have to move lol. I get into the store and there is this huge black dude behind the counter, and I go up with an iced tea (they ran out of frappucinos i guess) and realize I left my money in my car. I ask politely to the clerk if I can go get money from the car and leave the store. Unbeknownst to me, my wallet, wide open, was left on the counter.
I come back in and the big clerk has his hands crossed and says "Bro, don't ever do that again." I fearfully ask what I did wrong and he points at my wide open wallet on the counter. I apologize over and over, thank him for giving me this advice, (as I am a stupid teenager). I was very pleased with how respectful he was though, he was sitting a few feet behind the counter, and said he moved there as soon as he saw the wallet. Luckily I don't have any credit cards, but still, it was a fucking shock to my system. If mr clerk is out there reading this, thank you so much dude. I'll be sure to stop in more often. | I left my wallet in a convenience store and the clerk noticed and didn't do anything. I had a teenage learning experience. |
t3_4g04s2 | dogs | lil runaway - Our dog has never left before but she's done it twice in the past two days! What's going on? [Help] | My roommate has a 9-ish year old chihuahua mutt/mix and she is super affectionate and equal parts weird and well-behaved. I have pretty much become her part-owner because I love dogs and have lived with them for almost a year now. My roommate/her owner is a great dog dad and his former roommate is also her owner and equally as dedicated to her. This lil dog is left wanting for nothing.
She never runs away except through the fence to chase a squirrel then back again once we call her back. She never does this (as far as we know) when we aren't outside with her. For the first time (as far as I know and for at least a year) she made a break for it through the fence and couldn't come back through. We weren't home (gone for two hours? We never leave her for more than that - either he will take her to work or when I work from home she is with me) and she is allowed to come and go through dog door to our very private, high-fenced yard. Our neighbor grabbed her and kept her for about an hour and she was returned promptly once I came home.
This morning I left for work at 9am - dog was fed and happy (she spent the entire afternoon and night with me) - but apparently she somehow got out AGAIN. She ran all the way to the former roommate's house and was found no problem - but what the hell is she doing? I boarded up the gap in the fence so I have no clue how she made an escape.
Has anyone's dog ever done this? Been totally fine, no problem then randomly run away twice in as many days? | Our dog never runs away and is practically worshipped at home and gets plenty of love, food and exercise. She has run away twice in two days. What's going on? |
t3_3ftzqv | relationships | My [20's M] mother has been coming onto me recently | Only over the last few years my mom has been coming onto me sexually. It's weird and not as natural as porno would suggest.
When I hit puberty I had fantasies about it, but since I've grown older and started an active sex life (lol) it just doesn't arouse me like those first dozen/hundred wanks.
Examples of her advances are her hands linger on my shoulders and sometimes slowly go down over my chest and back in a caressing manner (We're not a touchy feely family), other times I'll be talking to her with my back to her only to turn around and find her staring at my ass, and just recently when she was getting ready to sleep she asked very suggestively if I "Needed anything" and another time came in with a dildo in her hand and said goodnight to me. No I am not making any of this up. Yes I am serious.
I need some serious speculation, some serious advice, whatever you guys can offer.. I have a road trip to her side of the family coming up and it will just be her and I going, she jokingly brought up that instead of sleeping on the couch "We could share the bed and have pillows between us if you want haha". | My mom is being very suggestive toward me, is it a phase? Should I just ignore it? What do I Do |
t3_3eh9sq | personalfinance | Bought a new car on Saturday, laid off from work on Tuesday | Like I said, I bought the car on Saturday. A *little* over my price limit but it had a warranty to last me a long time, it was exactly what I wanted, low mileage, great condition, and overall a great deal. So I did it. Low and behold on Tuesday I was layed off from work. I was devastated.
The financing is through me and my dad's credit union, They used his credit information because it's way better than mine but both of our names are on the loan. This way it will help my credit too but I'm still making payments and I won't get gouged with interest. At the dealership, both of our names are on the car, if that matters.
The issue is my dad is telling me I should call the dealership and credit union and tell them I was layed off and they might want to take the car back. The day we picked up the car we didnt have our paystubs and title so I had to bring that to them yesterday. I didn't lie about anything and I did truly give them my last 2 pay stubs, but I just also didn't mention my job.
I have money saved up to make car payments for about 5 months, I'm getting unemployment hopefully, and payments on the car don't start for another 45 days, so I feel like I'm okay until I find another job. I can't get my old car back because it was taken to auction and they would only give me the trade in amount which was a measely $500 (I was in an accident a week prior and it was totaled body wise but still drivable)
Can they take the car away from me if the bank calls my job to verify employment? The dealership does not have a grace period for me to return the car on my own so I can't do that and get something cheaper.
I want to keep the car, I just kind of feel like since the papers are signed, they took my old car, Ive had this one almost a week, they techincally cant just take it, it's not like I'm not paying it or am not going to. | Bought a new car, lost my job a few days later, they havent verified employment yet, can they take the car back? |
t3_4hflro | relationships | I (24/f) am not sure how to/if I should approach this awkward topic with guy I am dating (27/m) | I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks and I really like him. I'd also really like to have sex with him and it's clear that we are heading in that direction...but I have a slight issue.
Due to issues with my hormones I have been trying out various contraceptive pills but I do tend to react to them badly. The latest pill I am on seems to have very few side effects so far except one: constant spotting/bleeding. I spoke to my doctor and he told me to give it three months (total), and if the issue hasn't resolved we can move on to the next one (something with less oestrogen could apparently be the way to go).
This leaves me in a bit of a predicament. I think it's probably best to be open and honest...but every time I try to bring the topic up I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't stand awkward situations and to be honest I don't even know what to say. I know he's a grown man and is likely no stranger to the menstrual cycle but it's still a bit embarrassing. The other issue is that I'm telling him he may have to wait potentially two more months to have sex with me...maybe longer. I also feel like it's a little...presumptuous or something?
On the other hand, lots of people like to wait varying amounts of time before having sex with someone they're dating and I could potentially just tell him I want to wait or keep putting it off. It seems like a less awkward way to go about it but it is definitely not truthful.
How should I bring this up/phrase it? Or should I just...try to put off sex and play it by ear? | Due to a side effect of the pill I am going to be bleeding for potentially the next two months/longer, should I tell the new guy I'm dating and how? |
t3_31ksye | personalfinance | Emergency fund not big enough when an emergency hit - is this a good idea? | Hello /r/personalfinance,
My wife and I had started our emergency fund but only had ~$4K in it. We would have had more, but because our health insurance is fortunately very, very good, we thought it would be a better idea to put all extra money towards student loans (which retrospectively was probably not the best idea with only $4K in our emergency fund). We are a little less than a year to finish them off and our 4-year old dog became sick. We've put everything in our emergency fund and half of our credit line ($10K - we have a total of 1 credit card that we share) towards the emergency care, but he is not healed yet and there are still an unknown amount of medical bills/medications coming. Would it be a good idea to request a credit limit increase? We use our credit card for virtually every purchase and then immediately pay it off. However, we already know we will be unable to pay everything off this month (but not by that much). Not paying for any treatment necessary for our dog is not an option. We are already planning on cutting spending, reducing food costs, etc.., but I am not very knowledgeable on how increasing my credit limit could affect us (in a good or bad way).
Thanks for your help. | Dog is sick, blew away emergency fund on treatment, approaching credit limit and he's not healed - should I increase the credit limit to cover future unknown expenses? |
t3_hslth | jobs | How can I man up and make myself competitive | I have been a lurker for a while, but now I am hoping for some direction.
I am a senior biochemistry undergrad from Virginia tech, and there is only one class the spring semester that I need to graduate, which I am taking as a transient student at George Mason University. I thought there was so much time, time that I wasted, and now have a shitty 2.3 gpa. I need to find a job for the fall to pay spring tuition, but I am looking for something that I can work during and after I am finished school. Is there a term for this type of work? It doesn't seem to fit an internship, and I would like to do something relative to my field. Any suggestions in the job search? Worst comes to worst I might have to work retail or food service like I did in high school, which wouldn't be so bad if my girlfriend of 4 years didn't have a high paying corporate job, which makes me feel a little insecure. I may volunteer at the hospital so my resume doesn't look so bare. Graduate school seems out of the question. Please give me a new direction. | I was a bum in college, and am looking to turn things around. What options are available to me? |
t3_3ayny4 | relationships | My [23M] Girlfriend's [20F] Mother [63F] won't stop treating her like a child. | Hi everybody, so I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months now and everything has been fine up until this week. My Girlfriend (let's call her Kim) is due to stay over at my house for the first time next week and we were both looking forward to it until her mother stepped in.
She told kim that she wasn't keen on the idea of her spending the night and that she wasn't allowed to share the same bed as me. Kim has already explained to her mother that we won't be having sex (Kim told me she wanted to wait until marriage, which i'm fine with) but her mother doesn't trust her.
This isn't the first time her Mother has stopped her from doing what she wants. We were planning on taking a trip away for the weekend, but her mother told her she wasn't allowed to go unless we got a room with 2 beds. I've asked Kim to talk to her mother about it but when she does, it ends up with kim in tears because her mother doesn't really want to know. I've tried to convince Kim that she's a woman now and that her mother doesn't need to tell her what she can and can't do but she's worried because her mother is her only family and she wants to keep her happy.
Kim and I have both agreed that i'm going to go and try speak to her mother about this, I just don't know what I'm going to say. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! | Girlfriend's mother won't let her daughter grow up, im going to talk to her tomorrow about it and don't know what to say |
t3_bphm1 | AskReddit | Can potential employers get past privacy settings and see the content on my Facebook page? | Like many redditors, I am currently on the job hunt. I have recently had a couple of promising phone interviews with a good company that my wife's Aunt works for. She just called my mother in law and let her know that she thought I should be more careful with my facebook page (we are friends on FB, and I had missed a privacy setting).
She implied that companies can see get to your content regardless of your privacy settings. Does anyone have any more info on this?
Most of my posts tend to be political and use bad language, so that's about it, so nothing too crazy. | Even if my Facebook profile is set to be as private as possible, can a potential employer still see things on FB? If so, how? |
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