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t3_4vol0v | running | Weirdly specific training question | Hi r/running! I'm a long time lurker but this will be first overall post! Sorry if this one ends up lengthy.
Some background: was a strong runner in high school, got burnt out in college however. Gave up running for a few years, then picked it back up in February. Have ran two 5ks since and in early July was doing ~30 miles a week.
Now for my question! At the end of July, I got diagnosed with Shingles. It was a particularly rough case and knocked me out of running for about 2 weeks. Pre-shingles I would do my 5k workouts at just under 8 minute pace. After the shingles subsided to a place where I could effectively run, I've been having tons of problems with stitching and speed (can't go much faster than 8:50ish and took me about a week to get back to where I could finish a 5k).
This was the worst possible time for this to happen as I was due to start training for a marathon with a friend on August 8th. I was supposed to take this entire week off before jumping into it but I don't know if I should since I'm still trying to get my body back to it's "pre-shingles shape". Should I go ahead and take the week off, then jump in on Monday or adjust everything? I can't tell if the stitching is due to still being sensitive from the shingles or if two weeks off was really able to set me back that much? | Was running ~30 miles a week, got shingles and took 2 weeks off. Now I struggle with 3 mile runs and can't tell if I can proceed with my original training plan. |
t3_x5u0k | AskReddit | One time in high school, my friends and I indirectly tea-bagged another friend....twice. What's the most fucked up thing you've done to a friend? | For most of High School, five of my good friends and I were in a mildly successful band. We were all close except for one friend; he was a bit of a scumbag steve to say the least. We'll call him "Karen."
On one occasion, one friend and I headed to my garage where we practiced and kept all of the instruments, including the drums. Friend 1 (Boone) and I were pissed at Karen, the drummer,(I cant remember the exact reason but it involved his inflated ego). Boone walked over to Karen's set and picked up a drum stick, which he then proceeded to shove into his pants and stir up a nice pot of slippery sack stew. Chuckling, he placed the stick back, and I walked over to do the same (to a different stick of course). Take mind, this took place after a very intense cross country practice. Imagine kiwis soaked in saltwater.
After about 30 minutes, Karen arrived at the garage for band practice and picked up his favorite pair of sticks, not knowing they were covered in our forbidden sweat. After a song or two, Boone convinced Karen how funny it would be if he put his sticks in his mouth and pretended to be a walrus. Karen agreed on its hilarity. He stuck those sticks in his mouth like a total champ. Both Boone and I were laughing like barking seals, while Karen thought he was hilarious. We knew the truth.
The next day, Friend 2 (Jericho) joined Boone and I for band practice. Karen was to arrive in thirty minutes, so we informed Jericho of the events that unfolded the day before and decided to go for round two. The three of us, again, rubbed our rubies and emeralds all over Karen's favorite drum sticks, and successfully convinced him he is the funniest human being to walk the earth.
He never did find out about it. | Three of us convinced our Scumbag Steve friend to taste the homemade saltwater taffy we placed on his drumsticks. |
t3_1x03uk | relationships | *Almost* positive my fiance[29/f] is cheating. Do I[29/m] confront her? | We have lived together for 3 years. Dated for 4 1/2.
I work 3rd shift, she's on first. I left something important at home last night so I came home from work around 12:45 a.m. to get it. She was not there!
I have been fairly suspicious of this for a while now, but this discovery was totally on accident. I never stop home in the middle of a shift, so she thought she was in the clear. | I dropped by in the middle of the night when she should have been sleeping, she was gone. Do I confront her now? |
t3_2cpvlo | jobs | Interview (female) - briefcase or not? | I have an interview where I'll be taking the train and then walking to the building. I want to stay downtown afterwards and walk around, so I would like to bring a pair of sneakers. They would be the thin slip-on kind, freshly washed and in a bag to eliminate possible odor.
The position is entry-level corporate accounting and I'm wearing a black skirt suit. Backpacks are definitely out, but I have this [briefcase] Too casual? Would any large bag look out of place?
I have browsed dozens of interview articles and forum posts this week on interview attire and I think the opinions are split 50/50. I've even read to leave any large bags with the receptionist, but I don't think that sounds appropriate. | Taking public transit to an interview and want to bring a change of shoes but have no place to stash a bag. Is bringing a briefcase in 2014 positive, negative or neutral? |
t3_1826ft | offmychest | Problems with my boss and I don't know how to fix it. | I started at my (great) job about 8 months ago now and I'm having issues with my manager.
I get along with everyone in the business but her, and it's gotten to a point where I need to do something urgently.
Everything she says is an attack or some negative about me and my work. It may be a task that hasn't even been thought of yet and she will already jump on it and say something that makes me feel like I wouldn't do the task well so why bother?.
Today she got nasty at *me* because she had gone out and bought cleaning supplies and said that they would be a waste of money if we already had some. Apparently I have to tell her to check a cupboard before spending money on something we already have. But it was my fault that she didn't check.
My fault she doesn't read documents I send her for approval so we end up with problems down the line. My fault that everything and anything goes wrong in the company. I was working in my position (secretary) part time and hadn't been in the day before. The first thing that she did when seeing me was scream at me for the water being off. I hadn't been there the day before and she knew that.
Today a different member of management asked me how my day was, What my goals were career wise and study wise and we chatted a bit. He's a busy man but still managed to be respectful and see how I was doing and give me a bit of confidence by praising me for something I had done.
I'm basically just sick of having to deal with a boss that I'm too uncomfortable talking to because of the hit my confidence takes. I want to be the best employee I can be in a great company, but after a morning dealing with her I feel like I couldn't do a thing right. I know I should suck it up and 'deal' but it's so hard.
Any advice of how to approach this would be much appreciated & thank you for reading :) | Employed at a great company for 8 months, boss puts me down constantly and I hate feeling like I can't do anything right. Want to fix it so I can be an efficient employee. |
t3_4wig0q | relationships | My [28/M] her [24/F] something seems way too perfect about this situation | I started speaking to a girl yesterday at about 7pm. After a few back and forward messages on a dating site, we added each other to Facebook. We spoke from 8pm to 4:30am, pretty much non-stop.
At about 10pm, she said I should ask her on a date. She lost her job that day, and she said I was the first person to make her smile in a LONG time. I asked her, she said yes.
Now, the thing is, in the looks department she is WELL above me. I know looks aren't everything, but still. She said she really liked my personality.
It was very odd. I mean, I like her. I am not worried that it is a 'scam' or anything. She is very much real, because she is linked to a couple of people I know, and they know her.
It just seems...odd. A girl wanting me to ask her on a date, especially since she doesn't feel too confident in English (I live in Sweden)
I can't help but get the feeling she only wanted it because I really cheered her up, rather than for a genuine like for me. Sort of 'caught up in the moment'. I mean, we spoke for an incredibly long time. We haven't spoken today. I just sent her a message (she hasn't read it yet)
Should I just go with the flow, or? | It is weird a girl likes me this quickly, so I am really confused. Normally it takes me a good week or so to build up to asking for a date! |
t3_2xvspp | relationships | I [20M] think I'm falling for my good friend [20F] but she's my best friends ex | I've been friends with my best friend for almost 3 years now, we've lived together in school and we've always gotten along great. This year we've grown somewhat apart because we don't live together, and we just sort of stopped talking as much.
His ex gf had been dating him for 3 years and being his best friend I also became very good friends with her. They took a break last year, where I coached them back into their relationship. They're on another break right now but this one looks much more serious. I've been in contact with both of them through the whole thing since they're both my good friends, and honestly I'm siding with his gf because he hasn't been treating her right.
It's been about 2 months of them being broken up, and I'm afraid I'm starting to get feelings for his ex. Is that wrong? I don't want to lose him as a friend but it's fairly obvious me and his ex would be a great couple.
I'm purposely not using names and a throwaway because he is a redditor as well and that would be awkward. | My best friend and his gf of 3 years broke up 2 months ago, and I'm starting to have feelings for her. Is it wrong? How could I work this to keep my best friend too? |
t3_1h4dqf | dating_advice | Something about this feels weird. | Ok, Straight to the point:
I (23/F) was seeing a guy (29,M, Mike, for the purpose of this story) for a while when he moved out of state and we left things unfinished. One of his co-workers (let's call him Josh, 26, M)) and I became friends on facebook, though not much communication was ever established other than a usual "How are you?"
Well, Mike ended up moving back here, and calling and chatting me up every day again, though nothing ever really became official. We were just the couple that hung out all the time, and had sex but were never boyfriend and girlfriend, not because I didn't want to, but because he didn't. Mike and Josh became best friends, they work together (to this day), and we always hung out together. Well, things finally went awry with Mike and we stopped talking. It's been a solid 6 months since I've heard from him. I thought they were a package so I didn't even bother keeping contact with Josh.
However, Josh messaged me of facebook more frequently over the last couple of months, asking me how I am, really interested in what I'm doing, that sort of thing. Eventually he asked for my number and started texting me about 3-4 times a week for hours at a time. Finally last weekend he asked me out for coffee and I accepted. He came to my side of town (he lives 45 min away) We had a nice time, sat around and talked, drove for a little while, played arcade games, sat around some more. Lots of laughter, getting to know each other, and flirting all throughout this time. Finally, at the end of the night, things got heated and we made out for a while, though nothing went past 2nd base. Then at the end of the night he walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye.
I texted him the next day to say thank you for the previous night, and then he texted me on Monday to ask how I was doing and kept up conversation. I definitely felt a connection, but I'm wondering if this is a bad idea because of my history with Mike and them being best friends, and how do I know he is genuinely interested and not just playing mind games with me? | had friend with benefits who introduced me to best friend. friend with benefits and I are not friends at all anymore, but best friend is showing sudden interest in me. why? |
t3_3q27lm | relationships | Reddit I think my husband(10 years) is losing his mind (35) Him (39) in reguards to how you treat family pets (dog) | Sorry if this is jumbled. I am upset. Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Our dog has not yet been spayed(she is going this month). As a result she has accidents frequently. My husband the other day texted me while I was at work that he wanted to get rid of the dog (we have had her for 1.5 years, my son and I love her and she is one of son's best friends) because she had an accident on the tile. I texted him back something along the lines of the dog would be staying and he would go if he tried to get rid of her. He works maybe 2 hours a week, gets a paycheck from his boss (who is his dad)to stay on retainer. The rest of his time he spends-bringing our son to school, and the rest of the day he does as he pleases which usually includes being at the gym for 2-4 hours a day. I work from 5am-1pm and also work from home. I pick up our son from school. So it's not like he is having a heavier burden with the dog.
We just got into a big argument and the final straw was him saying that "If i strangled the dog to death in the driveway you would divorce me over a fucking dog?"
I flipped. I told him that is sociopathic thinking and I would make sure he went to jail if he did that to our family pet. He told me to get the fuck out of his room. I am hysterical. Who the hell thinks that doing something so cruel would be something anyone should be able to move past? I feel like I am going to lose it Reddit. Please someone tell me I am not crazy for thinking he is sick. He has bipolar disorder but I am starting to suspect that there is something more wrong with him if this is how he thinks and I am not equipped to deal with it. | husband thinks its ok to treat our family pet ike it's disposable to us and I should be ok with it. |
t3_3k7ol6 | tifu | TIFU by kicking a guy I'd never met before out of my house | Okay, so this was yesterday morning.
I sleep at my dad's place once a week, and that happened to be the night before last.
I get up the next morning, have a shower and get ready for school, as I leave the bathroom I see some old guy I'd never met before, just standing inside my house. About 6 feet past the front door, with no one insight, I immediately assume no one had let him in. So I start to question him. It went a little something like this,
Me: "Hey..."
Him: "Hi, how's it going?"
Me: "Yeah I'm good..."
Him: "I'm here to fix the car" (Now, I had no fucking clue my dad's gf's car was fucked)
Me: "What? The white one?"
Him: "Yeah, have you got the keys?"
Me: "No, mate. I'm also pretty sure the car's fine..." (Now I could tell he knew I was confused as all shit right now)
Him: "Are you sure? This is X's house, right?" (X is the name of my dad's gf mother, but I never made the connection. And she doesn't live with us.)
Me: "Nah, it isn't."
So the dude left, walked out the front door again. While I'm feeling weirded out to shit because I don't know what the fuck just went down...
After all that, I went to make breakfast and not long later dad's gf came to the kitchen, I told her about the ordeal and she told me it was actually her like grandad or father in law or something. So he was actually just old and confused. He had mixed up the names of my dad's gf and X, as well as the reason he was there. The car was broken, but he wasn't there to fix it, he was there to drive us to our designated places (work, school, etc.) | Old guy I didn't know came to my house, I kicked him out because he said he was looking for some woman I didn't know and a car to fix, turns out he was my ride. |
t3_1epml9 | relationships | Messed up with ex. Now i wanna get her back. [m20/f21] | So my friends there was this girl on uni that liked me so one day we started making out and decided to become friends with benefits. we were together for 3 months. That time
we didnt just stayed as friends with benefits but we progrrssed a lot more. We would spent nights together. we would rent a house and stay their from time to time. all well but at the start of the year an other guy started flirting with her. he was my friend. which that annoyed me a lot. i ended up acting weird to her with the result to brake up and she ended up with him. about 2 months ago she stopped talking to me after we had our closure. Yesterday i found out that i messed up big time. when we first started in a boy talk i admitted i had sex with her in a place. and she found out. i miss her a lot and i wanna make up, I tried to date other girls but got unexcited from the first dates. How is the best way to apologize to her or should i do anything else? | girl started friends with benefits, ended up relationship,friend was hiiting on her, she broke up with me, went with my friend, i want to apologize. |
t3_2r4k4i | relationships | me (21F) and (23M), texting and not specking to each other issues, dating 2 months | So I (21F) have been dating this guy (23M) for about 2 months now. I really like him a lot, especially since a bad break up I went through a year ago. Which doesn't happen to me often so I want things to work out. We have talked and are exclusive and also not seeing other people. He also got me a christmas gift which I was not expecting at all, so I took that as a good sign that he is into me.
My problem is that he's not the best at texting and sometimes won't respond at all to text I send. But if I call him or ask him to call me back he will when he has a moment. I know he is busy with work and his life and when I asked him about the messaging thing he told me he just doesn't really pay attention to his phone. I guess I am just sorta worried because when we first met he would text me pretty regularly. Like nothing excessively just normal texting. Maybe the decline is just how things happen but it does really bother me when he doesn't respond at all.
He's also ben sick since christmas so I haven't like hung out and done things since before christmas when he wasn't sick. But he did come over new years eve and we were gonna hang out but he end up leaving after a few minutes cause he wasn't feeling well. Which I admit he did look sick but I still wanted to hang out. He also wouldn't kiss me cause he said he didn't want to get me sick so he gave me a cheek kiss.
On a side note I was also wondering how long do most people go without talking to the person they are seeing? I feel like a few days are hard for me but when I talk to friends they think that going a week is normal which I don't think is normal at all.
I also feel like I am trying to read a lot into ever little thing which is probably the biggest problem I am having. | seeing guy for 2 months but having texting and not specking to each other at time issues, would like some advise. sorta a rant sorry |
t3_31ba0j | relationships | Me [26F] with my GF [31F] about 8 months, recent diagnosis and her well-intentioned support is rubbing me the wrong way. | We have been dating long distance for about 8 months, best friends for a year prior. We are basically the same person in every respect and have never really disagreed. I found out last week I have a major and unexpected health complication but there is a lot unknown right now. I am essentially in limbo and pretty scared. She is a good person and trying to be there, but everything she says is wrong for me. She keeps making "aw aw aw" *dead puppy noises* while on the phone and I think she just does not get it at all or get why this is so important/terrifying/real to me. I don't know what to do. All I want is for her to ask me what I need, hold me, and not talk. She keeps saying "we'll get through this," we have not been dating long enough for me to think she is going to be with me to the end. so it sounds really fake to me. It is my problem not hers. And she is not asking what I want, or need, or really any of my input. She just keeps saying what we'll do. What do I do? How I do I cut her some slack in my head so she does not piss me off? I know she means well, but I am just not handling all of this very well. I don't know what to do.
I do not want to push her away and I want to get out of my own head and see her help for what it is, but I feel alone and annoyed and I am definitely pushing her away right now. | Recently diagnosed chronic illness, GF means well but is making me feel more alone/worse/annoyed. Help?! |
t3_18nfgv | loseit | Help! Boyfriend isn't supportive. | I have asked my boyfriend, whom I live with, for help with eating healthy. So far, I have gotten none.
1) he resents the time I spend at the gym.
2) he eats my favourite candy right in front of me and doesn't stop buying buttloads of bulk candy and they are just lying around our tiny apartment.
3) he eats fast food in front of me and basically refuses to stop.
4) he thinks he is helping, but when i ask for an example of when, he can't give me one.
He is approximately 50 lbs overweight and doesn't seem to care, or even see it, so i decided to get healthy on my own. The issue arises when I have bouts of very poor self control, usually lasting about 3-4 days. I have continually asked him for help, actually over and over and over again and he just doesn't understand, no matter how I explain it to him, that he is actually making it worse. I understand the personal responsibility factor, I really do. I just need help getting over the first hump (15 lbs) and he is holding me back and refuses to budge.
He also tells me how good I look all the time, which I know isn't true because of my being overweight by at least 25 lbs and he doesn't understand how telling me that I am perfect the way that I am is detrimental to my goal.
I have gained back everything that i have lost over the last 3 weeks because of all of the unhealthy food around the apartment, but he refuses to stop buying it. "It's my problem, not his"
I should add that we live in a small town with a metre of snow and it is almost like being under house arrest, it's so cold here (-40 celsius) so the unhealthy food (and huge amounts of it) are in ful view at nearly all times unless I am at work)
Have any of you had to deal with this problem? If so, how did you get past it?
Thanks! | I gained back the 5 lbs i lost over the last 3 weeks because of all of the candy and fast food around the house that my boyfriend buys. Help? He isn't very supportive. |
t3_4d8505 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my crush [19 F]. She is seeing someone else. Not sure if I should stay friends with her. | Hi Reddit. Using an alt because my friends know my main.
So I've had a crush on this girl for a while now. We started out as friends but I developed feelings for her. I hang out with her a lot and study with her. I really enjoy the time I spend with her. Having said that, she recently told me that she is seeing someone else. She said she was scared to tell me because she didn't want to upset me. I'm not sure if I should continue to hang out with her because she is in a relationship. She told me that she knew I had feelings for her, but it was not mutual.
I won't see her for the summer however I'm going to be in some of her classes next year and she wants to work with me and study with me. I'm not sure I should do this because I don't want to develop a crush on her again because it is not fair to her. Unfortunately, I feel like that will happen and I don't know how to prevent it. I feel bad because she did nothing wrong and wants to stay friends and I like hanging out with her, but I know I will get feelings for her again. Any suggestions on what I should do, or how to not get a crush on her going forward? | Had a crush on a girl. It was not mutual. She is now seeing someone but wants to stay friends. I'm not sure if that's a good idea. |
t3_xzjet | relationships | Long term relationship with recent abuse issues. (Physical and Psychological) | I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 20. We have been dating for almost 4 years. I cheated on her in the beginning of our relationship when I was very unsure of our relationship and myself. I had gotten pictures from girls which she found about a year and a half ago and as expected caused huge problems with our relationship. About 6 months later she found out I hung out with a girl for about 6 weeks and had sex with her one. This was a girl I had a previous relationship with before my current girlfriend and I started dating. Since shes found that out theres been consistent fighting. She's said she wants to work things out but it almost everytime we are together something causes her to go off. We get in verbal fights that go on for hours till I somehow manage to calm her down and then she feels bad and apologizes. It's become a cycle and on rare occasions she gets physically violent. She always wants me to prove myself and accuses me of not caring (shes broken up with me several times over the last 2 years and has dated two guys while we were broken up) I've been nothing but faithful to her since my early relationship fuck ups. I do love this girl and when we aren't fighting everything is great. I'm just not sure it's still worth it if we fight all the time about being together and it's me trying to convince her it's worth it especially with all the fighting. | I made big mistakes early in our relationship and has caused major issues now including physical abuse and constant verbal fighting but when we aren't fighting everything seems so good. |
t3_345fkb | relationships | I [16 M] am not sure about the realtionship with my long time crush, recently my first girlfriend [16 F] since we are classmates | This year I started highschool (15-19 where I live) after 15 years of being constantly rejected by females and at this point any conversation with girls are a super awkward mess of "yeah, yes, sure".
But this year, I got put into same class as this one girl. For a long time it was obvious that we had mutual feelings towards each other. But both of us are pretty shy people, your standard weirdos (I won't go into details, but we both share a mental disorder that is not disabling in normal life but might seem strange to people unaware about it), it took us couple of months to express them.
Yesterday we became "official". But this was followed by a couple of rude and generaly dumb jokes from the few classmates that found out.
That made me question if a relationship between two classmates is even a good idea. On one hand, I really love her but at the same time I've heard a lot of people saying that one should nevere date a classmate.
What should I do? | Got into a realtionship with a classmates that never had a boyfriend just like me. And now I am confused what to do next. |
t3_2tqwcu | tifu | TIFU by calling the cops on myself | So this happened a few years ago when I was 19 and my brother was 15. My brother had some friends over and they were all experimenting with marijuana and if I can remember correctly a couple of his older friends were riding the white pony. My parents usually stayed at the lakehouse which was about an hour and a half away from home, and so my brother and I would typically have our friends over.
One weekend my mother comes home and only my father had gone to the lakehouse. When she notices all of my brothers friends with cocaine and marijuana she tells them all to leave. I hate cocaine use and don't mind marijuana use as much, so I was telling the kids to leave also. My brother got mad like most 15 year old boys would do, yelling at my mother and pretty much in a state of rage where respect goes out the door.
I was in my room playing a video game when I hear my little brother arguing to my mom about how she ruined his life and I heard mom scream. Thinking my brother had hit my mom I run in to the kitchen and pop him a good one in the face. We get in to a normal brotherly love fight of punching and hitting. He storms off angry and walks out of the house and down the street.
I called the cops and when they got to my house they arrested me because it looked like my brother had red marks on his face. My brother had bad acne when he was in his puberty stages. | Threw parties when parents were away, kicked out brothers druggy friends, beat up my brother, I called cops, I got arrested. |
t3_27gaq5 | relationships | I [19f] can't stand being around my boyfriend[20m]'s best friend and roommate [21m] | I've been seeing this guy now for about 6 months and things are great, except there is one major problem from my perspective: I think his best friend is an asshole.
Even when I first met him he was pretty unpleasant to me which made me feel uncomfortable, but his rudeness seemed to get worse over time and I have never really understood why.
Especially when we're in groups, he likes to call me out on anything from my appearance to something I said that sounded stupid to even just being too quiet. Sometimes when I'm in the middle of talking he'll cut me off, talk over me, or tell me to shut up. I'll admit that I can get quite flustered in these situations so more often than not I don't know how to react. I usually get along well with people and I don't like confrontation (especially meaningless confrontation), and on top of that I don't want to make my boyfriend more uncomfortable. I also feel uncomfortable because usually when he's there we'll be hanging out with my boyfriend's friends who I'd like to win over but he makes me feel degraded in front of them all. I've tried being nice to him, I've tried ignoring him, I've gone off on him a couple of times, but he just seems to make it impossible to feel comfortable in his presence. He doesn't even seem to want to have a normal conversation with me. My boyfriend has apologized on his behalf and told him to stop several times but it's always the same.
We tend to not hang out at his place anymore because of this reason, but I really don't want this to get in the way of our relationship which I value so much.
Should I change my attitude? Should I just not care? I want to get along with his friends but this is making it really difficult. | My boyfriend's best friend is rude to me for no reason to the point where I don't want to be around him; I don't know how to deal with this problem. |
t3_2puwou | relationships | I [25F] have a crush on my new coworker [mid-30s M], and I'm not sure how to not make a fool of myself at work. [personal issue] | To keep this as short and sweet as possible, the title basically explains it. I've had a new coworker for about 2 weeks now, and I have had an insta-crush on him. Thing is, we work for a small family company, in a satellite office (there is him & I, one other coworker on a regular basis, and then two bosses who are there maybe 30% of the time), though inter-office relationships aren't frowned upon, I don't think that this would be a good thing for either of us professionally -- and plus, I don't even know if he likes me back!
The thing is, I don't want to make a fool of myself, but I don't know what to do in the situation where I see my crush 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Any advice? | I have a crush on my coworker, and I don't want to jeopardize any future professional development. How do I go about not making a complete fool of myself? |
t3_22nf3a | relationships | Last night the love of my life [28/M] told me [20/F] that he's dying. | First off, I know we're all dying. Some faster than others. My boyfriend has a heart condition that will probably cause him to die fairly young. We don't know when, or if it'll even happen, but to think it could be at any point is terrifying. He's so young... hell, were both too young to start thinking about this. He told me that when he was younger he wasn't even sure he'd make it to 20, and now that we're beginning to plan for the rest of our lives it's scary knowing we might not be able to grow old together like we'd hope; plans may fall apart, and no one has a clue as to how soon.
I feel horrible and selfish when I imagine him being gone one day and leaving me alone. It's so wrong of me to feel that way but I just can't help think why the greatest person I know has to suffer like this. I sometimes used to wonder why he'd surprise me with my favorite potted flowers while saying "I want you to have lots of things you love to always remember me by", but it began to make sense a while.
He's made me realize to never take anything you love for granted. No one is going to be around forever, and no one knows just when were going to lose the one person that we love over everything. Most importantly, never wait till it's too late to let you loved ones know how much they mean to you and never let them forget or question it either. | My boyfriend told me he's probably going to die at a young age and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. |
t3_379q5i | relationships | I [20/m] and my girlfriend [20/f] broke up on good terms before she left across the country for the summer. I don't want to lose her, how can I be in the best position to win her back? | We go to the same university so we will be seeing each other in September. We broke up (her decision) about a week before she left to work across the country for the summer. She said she didn't feel the same about us and that it didn't make sense for her to go away for three months feeling that way, which is true. However I definitely want to win her back. She left two days ago and I have been doing my best to give her the space she needs by not texting her first (she texted me once both days just saying she was doing fine and arrived safely). Do I have to continue to not text her in order for her to miss me? Will sending her care packages (chocolate, food, etc) be inappropriate or cute? I want her to know I miss her and love her but I also don't want to pressure her and be too pushy, any advice would be appreciated. I would like something other than the obvious move on, I figure I can be single and have fun this summer, but why not try to be in the best possible position to get back together when we go back to school. | girlfriend and I broke up before she left for the summer, want her to miss me and win her back, while giving her the space she needs, so we can date again when we go back to school. |
t3_24nohp | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend's [26F] ex-boyfriend [28M] called her "Mistress" in front of me. | Hi all.
So, we're a kinky couple and obviously both know the connotations of the word Mistress. She told me that a few times she'd dominated her ex (she is strictly submissive with me). Anyway, we were at a party thrown by a mutual friend of theirs last night, and things were amicable enough. Then he, jokingly, called her Mistress. She didn't seem to react much, laughed a little, then continued talking to him.
At the time it struck me as weird and off, and now I've thought about it, it bothers me a lot. I mean, I know he said it jokingly, but I still feel it's a sexually-charged nickname that isn't really appropriate for an ex to be calling her. Like, imagine if I just called one of my exes "my slut", or "babygirl", it'd be weird and disrespectful to her, right? I brought it up with my girlfriend this morning, and she sort of dismissed it as just a joke and that I was being too sensitive. However, I feel strongly that him saying it, and her basically reinforcing that it's fine for him to do so, is pretty disrespectful to me as her current partner. I wouldn't call it cheating per se, but certainly tantamount to it.
I'm considering either asking her to not allow him to call her sexual names, or simply asking her not to see him socially anymore. For a little more background, we've been dating for about 6 months, he is the only serious boyfriend she's ever had, they broke up because he didn't want to be married and she did. | I feel it's disrespectful to me for my girlfriend's ex to call her Mistress, even jokingly. Am I being unreasonable? |
t3_52fse0 | relationships | I [31 F] am having trouble with my husband [35 M] of 11 years, expecting the world to revolve around him. After eleven years, we are making no life progress and I am exhausted trying to do so by myself. | - we have two children. My husband does not worry about making them the best possible contributory members of society.
- he isn't irresponsible, but he does burden me with the responsibilities of our life (having a home, paying the bills, being responsible for our ours/children's future) . He expects to be told what to do and when to do it, he will sit on his smart phone until that point.
- I have a degree in business, he expects me to facilitate his change in work (he is currently a baker). Not in an arrogant way, but he simply does not do anything about it.
- as he is a baker, he sets two alarms at 2/2:30 am every morning. He does not respect that I need sleep. Short of sleeping on the couch (where he wakes me and sends me to bed anyway), he will not seek out another wake up method. I am slowly becoming more and more exhausted.
- he is not an a***hole, but just expects everything to be facilitated for him.
- I am emotionally exhausted. I've got to the point where I don't know what to do, nothing works. | My husband isn't arrogant or an ahole,but he expects the world to revolve around him, and I am becoming more and more exhausted. |
t3_12zeul | relationships | Is it ever a good idea to date a coworker? M-24 (me) F-24 | I've been working at my current office for almost two years. There are about 20 of us, mostly young, and I have a good relationship with everyone, including my boss/supervisors. About six weeks ago, an attractive new girl joined us, and we became friends, I like her, you know the drill. We've flirted a bit but haven't gone out or anything.
My question is: is this worth pursuing at all? Or are workplace relationships almost always clusterfucks? We don't do much work together, but our workspaces are nearby and the office is really damn small. I would be disappointed to not pursue her, as I really like her, but I get the sense that it just might not be worth. I know you shouldn't shit where you eat, don't dip the pen in company ink, etc. However, this is definitely not a career position for me (and probably nor for her), and I know people who have ended up marrying former coworkers.
So would you guys suggest a "proceed with caution" approach or is this more of a "risks outweigh rewards" situation? Also, if this affects the situation, there are many more women at this office than men, so there is less "competition" for me I suppose. Thanks for any input. | I'm a 24 year old guy in a small office, I like a girl at work. Nothing's happened yet - is it worth pursuing at all? |
t3_2h67oi | relationships | How do i [21/M] win her [18/F] over for good? did i f*ck up too bad? | So i have been hitting it off with this girl who is driving me crazy.
It started as a friendship for about 2 weeks but things started to heat up a little (prolonged hugs, holding hands and seemingly being more than ''just friends'')
After that we kissed a couple of times, i got stupid drunk and blurred out that i wanted a relationship and how i really like her (stupid move, i know) and things started to die a little between us. i met a different girl and focused my attention on her instead, i could tell that she did not like this.
She came around to watch a tv show with me after being just friends again, we had an hour long make out session like i never had with her.
the exact same thing happened a few days later.
after that she started acting really distant to me like she regretted it.
weekend rolled in and i got smashed and kissed yet a different girl.
i confessed and promised it was not going happen again, i asked if i had even the slightest chance, she apologized and said she never saw me as more than a friend and saw no future between us.
she wanted to stay close friends, i told her it wasn't going to work because i liked her too much to keep hanging out and broke contact in a respectful way, secretly hoping she would start to miss me and the few moments we did share.
did i make the right decision? did i screw up too bad? what advice can you give me? | I really like her, and i think she likes me but she doesn't say it. i acted like an idiot and am afraid i screwed up my chances. |
t3_1ya81w | relationships | My ex's best friend [M25] works at the restaurant that a guy [M26] is taking me [F19] to for a date. Should we go somewhere else? | After a little over a year, my ex and I broke up. It's been 5 or so weeks since and my cousin wanted to set me up with one of her coworkers so I figured what the hell, I'll give it a shot. After looking him up on Facebook, I had determined it wouldn't be a match but agreed to get coffee anyways. We met up at the coffee shop a few days ago and wound up talking for almost 4 hours. It was incredible and I misjudged him.
At the end of our coffee date, he asked me if he could take me to dinner this week to which I said yes. Today he told me where we were going and it turns out to be a restaurant that my ex's best friend works as a waiter at. I don't want to come off as a bitch by "flaunting" my new date in front of my ex's best friend (who I got along really well with also) but I also don't want to give my date the wrong impression and make him question whether he should be on the date with me.
So I guess, is it weird if I message the guy who works at the restaurant to give him a heads up I'll be going or should I tell my date or what? I don't know how to handle this situation because it's a really nice restaurant and I'd love to go out with this guy, but don't want to ruin it. | guy wants to take me on a date to a restaurant where my ex's best friend works as a waiter. Should we go somewhere else or what? |
t3_45dc5g | personalfinance | Peculiar Tax Situation for a NRA | So a few weeks ago it came to my knowledge that I shouldn't have used 1040 to file my 2014 taxes, since I was in the US as a student (earned income through OPT). I'm now amending my 2014 taxes via 8843 + 1040X + 1040NR-EZ.
**However...** a few weeks after I've filed my return (March 18, 2015), I received this mail from IRS (April 13, 2015):
> We received your Form 1040, federal individual income tax return, for the tax year listed above, but need more information to process the return.
>
> The letter you received provides two options to respond to this request:
>
> (1) our secure website OR
>
> (2) a toll-free IRS telephone number
>
> These options allow you to verify your identity and the IRS to continue processing your tax return.
I used their website to try and verify my identity but it didn't work, so I ended up going to the IRS office and sat down with a IRS staff. I handed over my student visa documents and my passport and the lady didn't say much, nor did she indicate that I filed using the wrong 1040. Fast forward to early May, I got a refund for ~$3.5k.
I've called a CPA that deals with NRA taxes, and he said since I got a ~$3.5k refund for 2014 and appeared in person at the IRS office, I should just leave it alone. Soooo should I file my 1040X for 2014 or just leave it alone and file it correctly this year? | First time filing taxes, filed 1040 instead of 1040NR, went to IRS office for ID verify, got a good amount of $ back, CPA said no need to amend it. |
t3_4ebn3n | tifu | TIFU by throwing twenty Boy Scout's phones off a balcony | This just happened a few moments ago so let me give a little context,
Every single year my son's scout group has a technology free camp at one of the richer scout master's house. He has a large balcony above his pool and concrete floor next to it. Some of the kids decided it would be fun to do skits on top of the balcony. As I began to set things up I saw some kids playing on their phones so I went up to them and asked them to put their phones inside a zip lock container. I then went around the camp and asked each kid the same. After all that I got around twenty phones. I went back up to the balcony to finish setting up when I stupidly left the phones on top the balcony's rail. Of course, it begins to tip off so I ran to go get it. I grabbed it right after it fell a couple of feet into the air. Unfortunately I grabbed it by the lid which immediately popped off springing the phones into the air which bounced off the concrete breaking nearly all of them. However, around half of them bounced into the pool next to the cement, leaving some kid's phones shattered and sopping wet. | While setting up for Boy Scout skits I accidentally dropped twenty kid's phones onto a cement floor thirty feet below. |
t3_3tepux | relationships | My girlfriend [24F] of 2 1/2 years doesn't know how to love or process real feelings. I don't know how to handle this. | I'll try not to make this long but I just want someone's 2 cents. My [27M] girlfriend [24F] grew up in a home where while her mother loved her she was never shown any affection. Her dad was an alcoholic and not really in the picture. She has this problem where she doesn't know what love and affection are, she'll say or show it but only in small doses. We've been together for 2 1/2 years and this is the longest she's ever been with someone. That alone frightens her, she says she doesn't know the next step or if she can even handle the next step. Things that come naturally to most people with love, she struggles with.
She doesn't know what to do and doesn't understand her own thoughts and feelings and she pushes them away. She can only show anger at her own insecurity because she knows somethings wrong with her. She plans on seeing a counselor soon and cant promise me if things will work out. I'm so lost and upset because I know she loves me and tells me so but we might lose the best thing that ever happened to us because of her own inability and subconscious stubbornness to truly love and embrace it. Has anyone ever dealt with this? | my girlfriend has never experienced true love or affection and now our relationship is in jeopardy because it scares the living hell out of her to embrace the next step. Her whole life she's run from her own thoughts and feelings. |
t3_395c1e | relationships | Should we (F20, M21) confront our friends (F/M 19-31) about their behaviour? | I'll try and keep this short, also I won't be including any names as there is a chance some people envolved might see this. Sorry for any bad formatting, I'm on mobile.
Some background information on our situation; Me and my SO are part of a group of people that essentially revolves around gaming, this post only refers to some people, not everyone in the group. We have been regular members of this group for little under a year and have grown quite close to most of the members.
The problems started about a month ago when the people we classed as good friends and people we were close to started treating us differently and excluding us from various activities and opportunities, for example they would play games online together and leave us out and not ask us to join or name calling and harsh comments aimed at my partner because he is better at some games than our friends. Also I don't feel as if they include me as my own person, but more as an extension to my SO and not a real member. I have experienced this from our friends asking if my SO will be attending events and not me, or saying that it's a shame that my SO won't be attending and not considering that I could attend on my own.
The way we are being treated is really getting us down and I find it really frustrating and we are not sure how best to react to it. Really I am looking for advice on whether we should confront them on what has been happening, or just cut them out of our lives and move on without saying anything to them.
If we confront them there's a possibility that it could escalate into an argument or something but would mean I get to rant about what they have been doing and get it off my chest, but in reality just cutting them out and moving on might be best. Either way we will have to on might have to give a reason to our reaction and I have no idea on how to express this.
Any advice would be really appreciated! | our "friends" have been treating me and my SO badly, it's started getting us down, we want to do something about it but don't know how best to react. |
t3_c5eci | AskReddit | Is subversion susceptible to corruption? | I want to start using version control for my files. It's just for my personal files, so I don't need to worry about multiple developers or anything like that. I've looked into git and svn, and decided svn suits me best because: I don't have a lot of developers, svn seems to be better on windows at this time, and svn has been around a lot longer than git.
I do have one concern though: How often should I backup my repositories? Should I backup just the repos or should I export the entire project and do backups of that? My concern is that the repo gets corrupted somehow and then I don't have access to any of my files. | How susceptible is subversion to corruption? Have you ever had a repo get corrupted on you? What extra precautions do you take, if any? |
t3_xco11 | AskReddit | How can I stop an abusive cop? Backstory inside. | About two days ago, my family and I were getting ready to go and spend the weekend at our place in Michigan. We stopped for gas on the way at a gas station not too far from my house. My dad got out and went with my mom inside, to pay for gas, while my sister and I waited in the car. As my mom and dad came out of the gas station over to our car, I noticed my mom had a look of frustration on her face, and she was talking sharply to my dad. I asked he what was wrong and she said, "A cop in there had told me that there was a warrant out for my arrest, and when I just stood there, he chuckled and walked away." this is completely out of control and unprofessional, I don't want this guy to be able to be a police officer if he's going to use his power to scare innocent people. So my question to you Reddit, how can I report this guy and make sure his superiors know what he has been doing/did? | cop tells my mom that there's a warrant out for her arrest, there isn't, he laughs and walks away. What do? |
t3_2lif5i | relationships | How do you recover from that one bad relationship? Me [25 F] with my ex [26 M] | After a short period of handing out together, we couldn't keep our hands of each other. It was fun, intense and I really believed that we may had something good. We dated for 7 months. I went away for a business trip which lasted 1 week, when I got back I went out with him and he just asked me to be friends. Just like that, no reason at all. The guy that a week before told me how he felt good in this relationship now wanted out and started crying saying how sorry he was. Heartbroken and powerless I left, few days passed and he started texting me, as we were best friends. He insisted on hanging out while I ignored him, slowly but surely bottling the anger and sadness in me. Before I knew I overexercised myself trying not to think of how much it hurt me and trying not to think of him. I didn't feel good and when I went to the doctor they found out that I had a heart condition which was actually there from my birth, but with the extreme exercises it came to light.
He somehow found out and demanded to see me, when I finally agreed to that (God knows why I said yes) he started sending me this awful texts claiming that I was faking the entire thing, only to get back to him.
Two years later, we are with different people, but he goes around and tells other people that I am a sick person, faking a heart condition to this day. I have a boyfriend who I love very much. However, I feel so much damaged after that relationship and it makes me doubt myself in all my current relationship decisions. It still hurts me, and I feel like I project my insecurities to my boyfriend. I don't know what to do. I just keep it to myself... | ex boyfriend breaks up with me, finds out I have a heart condition and spins it to his benefit. I am doubting myself in every relationship after that "incident". How do I end this? |
t3_49clup | tifu | TIFU by scaring a kid for life | Ok so this didn't happen today, but a few years back(6 ish as im not quite sure).
My brother was around 7 at the time and i was abooout I'd say 13. He is out playing around our home with a few of his friends and it was getting quite late, so my mom sends me out to tell him to come home, back in the day he didn't have a cell phone with him at all times and it wasn't really necessary.
Note: I usually wear glasses cuz I don't really see very far.
This time I decide It will be fine if I don't wear any glasses, cuz it's just downstairs on the playground, not too far. Well I was wrong.
I see a kid around his height, pretty similiar jacket, it was winter and quite cold, the same hat, so I figured it's him.
One thing was odd tho, he was wearing gloves and as i approach him I yell "Hey, where'd you get those gloves from?"
He didn't answer, so I yelled again(I was about 20 meters away from him). "Hey why won't you answer?". He then starts running away and I am annoyed, because I think he is playing games with me. So I chase him and yell my brother's name and i keep yelling "Let's go home I don't wanna chase you, dinner is ready.". This keeps going for about I'd say 10 minutes and I hear my brother(The real one) call me from behind me and is looking very confused. I look to the other direction and see the kid that has been running away from me looking at me with terror in his eyes. Then I see him hugging a woman(I'd assume his mom) and started crying. I tried going near them to apologize, because I'm blind obviously and stupid enough to chase a random kid. But the kid started crying even more when I approached, so I gave up.
Sorry for the English guys, not my first language. | Mistook a kid for my brother, chased him for good 10 minutes to try and get him come home with me offering him food and scared him for life. |
t3_1me8b0 | AskReddit | [Serious] How can I, as a boyfriend, to boost my girlfriend's self-confidence? | We have been together for over a year now and have very open communication. I want to do it in the most active, optimal, and careful way possible because I don't want to say or do anything wrong and delay the process of boosting her self confidence in any way.
She feels like she's not good enough to apply for jobs/grad schools even though her academic record is excellent. I asked her what she saw in the mirror when she sees herself, to which she responded, "pretty on the outside, but broke on the inside." And she is, indeed, pretty on the outside and broken on the inside.
People are naturally attracted to her in social environments and she can maintain good, meaningful conversations because she's friendly, funny, and listens really well. People even want to hang out with her, and vice versa. However, she is not usually the one to start the conversations. I believe the reason is because she is shy. My goal is to help her overcome her shyness, and see her full potential. | my girlfriend is shy and feels like she's not good enough for much, and I (boyfriend) am trying help her realize her full potential. how can I help her? |
t3_130rmh | relationships | [25M] is going to be away for 2 more weeks and lack of support is finally making me [23F] want to break up. Is there ever a point where ending it over the phone is okay? | My boyfriend of 11 months supports me very well in most areas, but emotionally I get nothing from him. It's been like this for months, and I've been talking to him about it a lot, but nothing ever seems to change. I love him a lot, but I'm miserable most of the time because he has no idea how to talk to me.
His work is starting to require that he leaves for a few weeks every couple of months and it's starting to wear on me even more. If I didn't have the support of some friends I would be a mess.
Currently he's been gone for 3 weeks and has 2 more weeks to go before he comes back. Things are deteriorating even more, I feel neither of us is really trying to communicate. He's having a lot of fun, and I'm trying to ignore that this is even happening. I do care for him a lot, and I'm happy he's happy, but we are contributing nothing to each others lives. I know for sure that I want to end this.
I know that breaking up with someone over the phone is a shitty thing to do to, but I don't know if I can't wait. Is it acceptable to break up with someone who's 600 miles away over the phone or should I eat my feelings for the next 2 weeks until he comes back?
Thank you for listening. | I want to break up with someone who will be in another state for 2 more weeks. Should I wait til he's back or is it okay to end things with a long talk over the phone? |
t3_1vqgdy | relationships | Me [28 M], annoyed that my GF [23 F] "stole" my friend [26 M] | First off, I'm sort of an introvert and I don't get out enough so it's hard for me to make friends. A couple years ago I met my friend Brett [26 M] and we got pretty close. We both had a lot in common and I was excited to have him as a friend. About a year after that he met this girl Susan [23 F] and they became good friends. Shortly after that, he ended up kind of hooking me up with her. So far, so good.
The problem is, now I am with Susan, and Brett is closer to her than he is to me! I'm actually kind of jealous and annoyed but not in the usual way. I'm friend-jealous! For instance, when he wants to hang out, most of the time he will text her first and then she will invite me along afterwards. I almost don't want to hang out with him anymore. Just to be clear, I think there's near zero chance of anything weird going on between them, I just don't like "sharing" my friend.
I feel somewhat ridiculous about this, because I don't feel like anyone has done anything wrong. For me, it's just no fun being friends with a guy who's so close to my girlfriend. I can't have a "guy's night out" because he always invites her, and even if he doesn't I can't talk about my relationship with her. I've had friends drift away before and that can be painful but I'm ok with that. But this situation, while not the end of the world, just constantly annoys me.
I don't feel like I can talk to my friend or my girlfriend about this without it being weird. In fact, I kind of feel like a petty dick that I just can't let this go. It's just a really weird situation for me, because I've been in a lot of relationships and I've never had anything like this happen before. I'm curious if anyone else has experienced anything like this or has some advice on how to handle it. | My good friend is so close to my girlfriend that it bothers me, in a "friend-jealousy" kind of way. |
t3_2ox8fx | relationships | My(17/m) recent breakup with my Ex(20/f) How do I move on? | I know this post is everywhere, i just need to vent, thanks. Any advice welcome.
We both had decided to save ourselves for marriage. Due to me being under 18, our church didn't approve of us dating until I'm of age. We were both in agreement. We made promises to wait 6 months until religiously, we were allowed. Because of this and being long distance, I haven't had contact with her for 3 months.
Yesterday, her father calls my dad saying she 'went all the way' with another married man (32/m) from her church. I know him because my ex, and her parents would regularly take turns going to eachothers houses to drink and just hang out. I was fine with this, she saw him as an uncle, and his wife as her aunt. Apparently one of the times, the husband got a little too tipsy and put his hand on her leg, and tried moving up between her legs. She says she walked awayto make it clear that wasnt okay, but didn't say anything in the moment. The next day, he apologizes and tells her he shouldn't of done that, she accepts, she had told me the night before what happened so there was no problem then.
A week after this is when we had stopped talking completely (but promised to stay together). And then, a little over 2-3 months pass when I get a phone call from my dad saying that she had 'went all the way' with that same husband. Still haven't talked to her.
Its left me questioning myself because if anything, she was even more devoted than I was. There was absolutely no signs or clues as to her doing this. I based my life around her and planned to move to her town in a few months. I shot down girls, and wouldn't hang out with my friends as much, for years, for this girl. How do I restart my life without her? She's the only serious relationship I've had.
Yes I know I'm young, it's not the end, but right now in the mean time, how do I forget about her? | for religolious reasons, we decided to not talk or date until we were ready, during this time, I hear that she lost her virginity. Still haven't talked to her, its over, but how do I move on? |
t3_1sjb8l | legaladvice | is my Deaf friend f*ck#d or? vs landlord | my deaf friend living in an apartment, got a notice on his door saying that he will have to move out if he dose not pay his rent....so he starts moving out after receiving that notice....in the middle of moving the landlord or just lady in the office comes to his door and starts to tell him he cant move with out a 2 month notice so now he has to pay a penalty "and its alot of money" being real bitchy and rude for no apparent reason, goes on to tell him that he will be 7 years with bad credit and also has to pay for 2 months more of rent.
come to find out he( mistakenly )signed the renewal while asking about moving to a bigger apartment few days prior to this event.
and it was a misunderstanding..
after shes done what seems like bitching and talking down to us..i ask whats the penelty? (for my friend) she continues with the same yada yada im sure she feeds all her tenants. i ask agian and she just repeats herself.me-how much money is the penalty...finally answers says $1180..
my freind being confused just says ok...she leaves...few minutes pass by ,and hes asking questions....so i end up going to the office to talk to her about the issue with him and if there is anything he can do about this penalty he obviously didnt know about... she says (her famous )its on the lease paragraph to me Agian...me- "i understand that but he is deaf and it wasnt explained to him as it should have been".."is there something we can do?" i ask what if he stays and doesnt move now that he has knowledge of this penalty. she continues her speech and gives no help,obviously didnt care and was just was taking advantage of my deaf friend.
at that point i was kinda shocked.
is there anything he can do or did he fuck himself over? | deaf freind took advantage of or? seeking advice for him,can he reverse charges a lil over $2000 or is this just a lesson learned?? |
t3_4lmk48 | relationships | Not sure whether to breakup with my girlfriend of 1 year or not, we are both 17 | Not too sure how to start this, but my gf and I have been going out for 1 year, we are both 17. We used to be together about 2 years ago for 6 months then we broke it off because of stress of exams and she was messaging her ex whom she assured me she hated.
We then didn't talk after 6 months and she started talking to me after I broke my arm and collar bone, another story for another time, and she found out I was in hospital. A week later we were bf and gf again after I forget what it was like last time.
Basically unfortunately I find her boring the majority of the time she only ever talks about herself, and I have informed her a few times that I would like to be asked about myself once or twice and she still doesn't. She very much dislikes me going out with my friends, which are all male. She never wants to go out anywhere with me and I prefer to go out places. We have different ideas about money, and therefore she hates it whenever I spend my money that I have have earned. She never thinks anything is her fault. I very much dislike her family.
However, I'm scared I'll never be able to find anyone else and be lonely. And my family all like her. Not sure what else to add, I'll probably think of something else later, and this is my first post to reddit. Thank you in advance. | not sure if I should stay with my girlfriend or not, she is controlling and uncaring, however I am scared I won't be able to find anyone else |
t3_2onw8m | offmychest | You won't be keeping me very long | We've been together for over 5 years now, and in just the 2 months we've been married you have driven me to hating you with your daily insults and your need to snap at me for anything and everything. Example, this morning you wanted to ask me what you were going to do with the dog when I leave the country for a year. I asked what you meant, and you told me "shut the fuck up and just answer the question without asking pointless questions in response".
So fuck you asshat.
Sure we're married now, but considering how fucking little you contribute to this relationship, you're on thin fucking ice. I've been telling you for weeks now to stop treating me like shit under the presumption that I won't leave you and you have yet to change your ways. So guess what? When I hop on the plane to leave the country, that will be the last fucking time you see me.
You should probably start looking for a job, the 3 years you've been unemployed won't look great on your resume, and without me there won't be anyone to clean up after you or pay your bills. You're going to have to be an adult and figure out what to do with your dog if you go away for a weekend.
I can't fucking wait to file for divorce. I only wish I was strong enough to do it before I skip the country, but honestly, I'm not. I am weak, I hate hurting people, and you've managed to cut a fucking huge hole in my self esteem. You are a master of manipulation, but from afar you won't be able to manipulate me anymore.
Maybe we'll get through this. Maybe you'll get over yourself and realize there is another person with thoughts and feelings in this relationship. Maybe you'll figure out that when I say I'm unhappy with the way things are, what I mean is that I'm unhappy with how you've been treating me. Maybe you'll take me seriously and actually show up to the couples counseling I've signed us up for so I'm not with the therapist on my own for the 3rd time. Maybe.
So just wanted to get off my chest that you won't be keeping me for long if things continue like they are. | husband has been shitty since just before wedding and ever since. I'm leaving country next year, if he keeps being shitty he'll never see me again. |
t3_2ybacf | relationships | Not sure if my [F18] boyfriend [M18] and his friend [F18] are too close | For context, my boyfriend Nick and I have been dating for one year and we are both very happy in our relationship (at least what I think).
Him and his friend Lexi, who I'm also acquainted with, is his coworker at a restaurant. They have been friends for over 4 years and both run track and cross country, meanwhile my boyfriend and I met 1.5 years ago. She has been dating someone for a few months.
Now, I was never jealous of their friendship until recently. We are all three going to the same university next year and I already have a roommate, but Lexi (at the time) and Nick had not. Nick told me that at work they both agreed they should room together. I sort of just laughed it off and tried to ignore it, because hey she's dating someone and I shouldn't be worried. But it seems as though every time I ask about work, some story about Lexi gets brought up like how she found a roommate and about what they're going to do on their next track event.
Then tonight Nick told me he was talking to Lexi at work when a coworker asked them if they were a couple. Nick found it funny but it made me question why that coworker would say that. The rest of the night I felt angry but I didn't know why. Are my feelings justified? What exactly am I feeling, jealousy or just paranoia? | My boyfriend of one year has close relationship with girl at work, who has a boyfriend. Little things have added up that bother me. Is this not normal or am I crazy? |
t3_21ncqk | relationships | I (17/F) am falling for my coworker (23/M) and there's many issues with this. Please, please help. | Okay, so I've worked there for about a year. I constantly have guys older than me hit on me, because I look older than I am- maybe around 20. One of the first days me and this guy, lets call him "Cade" started talking, we talked about relationships. I was dating a guy then for more than a year and I told Cade I didn't know if I would consider marrying him or not. (BTW- we recently broke up, for they better.) He told me he wished he had dated around a little, because he's been with the same girl since HS, and he never really got to experience other dating and he didn't know if he was missing out on something better. That being said, he seems like a really loyal guy to her, but him and I hit it off. He says I remind him of her a lot and his mentioned that I'm attractive. Him and I text a little, and he's invited me to hang out with him and some friends more than once. Him and I constantly share food together and seem to be really in touch with each other. One time I really needed tampons and he offered to buy some for me during work. He ran over to CVS and picked some up, missing out on potential money. I didn't want to go, because it was dark and late. He's very caring towards me as well. If I don't like something about my sandwich, he'll go remake it after the cook just for me. He remembers all these little odd things about me too, and we have a ton of silly inside jokes, much like Pam and Jim from the Office. It's weird, because I know he's interested in me, but trying not to be because he's a pretty loyal stand-up guy who's been cheated on in the past and always tries to do the right thing. I really like him though, and I don't know what to do. Would it be terrible to tell him how I feel once I'm ready to quit? I'm not looking to break them up, but I feel weird just leaving behind these feelings and trying to forget about him. I really care about him. What should I do? | I like a guy in a relationship. What should I do? Is there something more here? Is pursuing it wrong? |
t3_4eds7j | relationships | My friend[14F] is cutting me[17F] out of her life and I'm heartbroken | Okay, so these past few months, I've been crushing on this underclassman girl, and managed to become pretty good friends with her. Life was pretty great: we got along really well and flirted a lot. However, last week she started blatantly avoiding me, going out of her way to talk to others and ignore my presence, and getting mad and claiming it was a "personal issue" when I asked her why. By asking a mutual friend of ours, I found out that she had been crushing on me too. I confronted her and found out that since I'm a senior, she didn't want to go through the pain of me leaving after graduation, and so is now distancing herself so she won't feel as bad. Due to that and our age difference, I can understand why she wouldn't want to start a relationship or keep flirting, but she's not even sure she wants to stay friends with me. I'm 99% sure she's going to choose to end our friendship, because she's done it before in a similar situation.
How do I deal with this? I agreed to give her some space to figure out her feelings, but from what our mutual friend has shown me, it really doesn't look good. Apparently she doesn't even have feelings for me anymore, so this self-imposed isolation doesn't make any sense to me. Underclassmen deal with senior friends leaving all the time, why does this have to be any different? It hurts a lot, because I see her interacting online and IRL with our mutual friends all the time as if nothing's happening, and it's jarring seeing her ignore me in the hallways between classes when just a few days ago she would have been happily greeting me. I didn't do anything to offend her: apparently it was just recently that she realized how much dealing with me leaving would hurt, and so decided to cut me out. I keep switching from being sad that I've lost one of my friends without doing anything to deserve it, and angry that she decided on her own to avoid me without considering my feelings. | my friend has suddenly decided to cut ties with me because I'm graduating. I don't know what to do or how to deal with my emotions regarding this. |
t3_29vufb | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Ex-GF [19 F], she wants to get back into my life, a month after the breakup. | We dated for five months, broke up one month ago, and before the break-up she had been dealing with a lot of difficult family problems. I cut off all contact with her for a month, and after the first week or so she stopped contacting me. Now, a month after, she has been asking me if I would mind talking with her about some of her issues. I wasn't really upset about the break-up itself, I was just a bit annoyed that it happened as a four-minute phone call, and I really don't want to talk with her and help her with her issues, even though I feel like I should. She is dealing with a lot, but I just don't want her in my life. Should I still make an effort to help her? | GF breaks up with me, calls me a month later asking me to help her with some personal problems she is dealing with, I don't want to. |
t3_2rfijp | relationship_advice | Need a little advice. | So me and my FWB decided to be in a commited relationship (the 13th of last month). We've been talking for a year and a half. I'm 20f and he's 25. The age difference has never been an issue because I'm fairly mature. It only ever matters when we try to go to 21+ places. Anywho, I know about all of his past sexual history. I know some stuff I can't hold against him because we were never in a commited relationship. Yesterday we went out and I was joking with him about how all of the other chicks he's been with have been less than attractive (probably didn't help that we were drinking). He showed me this picture of a girl he was with and I honestly didn't believe him considering his history with other chicks. I asked him when he was with her he said 2 years ago. Then I asked him how long has it just been us two together (monogamous) and he didn't answer me. I asked again today and he said basically since the 8th of December. I don't know why that kind of crushed me. I've been with only one other guy since we started having sex with each other. I told him about that today and he acted so crushed.
He was devastated about my one guy versus his how many ever girls. I've forgiven him for everything he's done. We're in love and don't plan on breaking up but I feel like I'm going to have trust issues. It's already in the back of my mind. He lost it before and then gained it back. I don't want to call it quits. I'm just really fucking confused. | decided to be in a monogamous relationship with my FWB we both are in love. Found out about some stuff he did before we were officially a couple and I'm afraid I'll have trust issues. |
t3_2hxwmp | relationships | Boy (23M) that I (21F) had been seeing for 4.5 months started dating someone else, says he doesn't think it's cheating... not sure how to feel | I'll try to keep this short, I have been dating this guy for about 4.5 months. He lives about three hours away so we have only been 10-11 dates, we text constantly throughout the day, snapchat, phone calls. About a month ago he ask me to be in a relationship and I told him we should spend more time with each other and get to know each other better but would like a relationship in the future. He says he is fine with that. We have been on more dates since then, thousands of texts and snapchats etc... things seem fine, although I notice that some nights he doesn't contact me as much. Last night a random girl posted on his wall that "she had a great time with him and looked forward to more dates in the future" or something to that effect. I ask him straight up about it and he told me that he had been casually dating her for the past week. I haven't really talked to him much since last night but I feel cheated on and used. Should I feel this way? I mean we were not officially exclusive but I thought we were exclusive? If that makes sense... | Dated man for 4.5 months, he starts dating another girl and now i'm not sure how I feel about it, is this normal? |
t3_3grh6c | personalfinance | I'm getting $3300 back from college each sememster, what should I do with it? | I live in a low income family and have had the opportunity of free college.
In addition to this, my university is giving me $3300 ADDITIONAL that goes straight into my bank account. I'm only 18 years old and I will continue to work throughout college (first year at least). I still have to buy my books so we are looking at may be an actual amount of about $2800. I have 5 classes and the books were approximated at around $80-120.
I've had a few ideas such as:
-New car (my car is decent but not great)
-Investing
-Saving until I'm out of college
-Irresponsible use (Vacationing and Leisure)
However, like I said before, I'm only 18 and I have a bad habit of spending my money on random junk. I would like some guidance to spend this opportunity wisely and not just blow it. | don't need to pay for school yet I still get 3300 dollars a semester for books and whatever else I want to spend it on. Advice? |
t3_1ip4hk | Dogtraining | Advice with large, jumping dog? I have two weeks to work a miracle | This is a bit of a weird situation, but I'm hoping that someone can offer a hand. Sorry in advance for the length of the post. Here's the scoop:
I'm at my parents-in-law's house, deep in the backwater woods of a country that is not the USA. Dogs in this country are mostly treated like working animals, and this dog is no exception.
He's extremely big and well-built, and when he stands up and jumps (which is a lot!) he is as tall or taller than a grown human.
All day, this dog is penned up in a little walkway that is maybe 6 feet wide by 30 feet long. Not very spacious. In the evenings, he has the run of the property, which is large. His main function is to guard the place and bark loudly to scare away any strangers.
My father in law has taught him using Fear and The Stick. It is awful to watch. This dog fears being hit and yelled at, and is expected to know his place. There is no concept of a "best friend" or anything soft like that.
But I love this dog! When we visit, I play with him and toss him around and give him belly rubs and he's a complete sucker for love and attention. Which all makes sense to me. But he JUMPS. He jumps like crazy and really doesn't understand proper distance or care around, say, my children.
Now my parents in law have left for 2 weeks and the whole house is ours. What I would love more than anything is, while the parents are gone, to help the dog mellow out. That is, to help the dog learn to be calm and not so psycho around humans, so that he can be out all the time, instead of spending his days in that pen.
My feeling is that the pen causes the "bad" behavior, but I don't know if 2 weeks is long enough to test that theory.
Any advice on how to get a good-natured, sorta prisoner working dog to behave better? Any advice on helping teach a dog not to jump would be most appreciated. | Working dog is mostly prisoner, and acts inappropriately. Owners are away for 2 weeks. I want to "fix" the dog's behavior so he can be freer and happier.* |
t3_3wb7oa | relationships | I [21F] will likley be alone for the foreseeable future, if not the rest of my life. Help me find ways to come to terms with this. | Hello, Reddit.
I'm not really sure how to begin this, because I'm not in the best place emotionally right now. My life hasn't been rough in any sense but I do feel that for the vast majority of my life I have been emotionally neglected and left to my own devices by others. The older I am, the worse this gets and I feel that this trend is likley to continue for some time, if not indefinitely.
I realise that I am the "master of my own destiny" and that changes need to be made and directed by me. However, most of my efforts have not been successful and there does not seem to be a great deal of improvement. I am unsure how to proceed further regarding this.
I decided the least I could do is come to terms and accept the complete possibility that I may be on my own for some time. The problem here is that I am a very social person, despite it being difficult for me to maintain. I'm not sure what I can do to become fully self dependent and accept this.
Admittedly, because it is in the run up to Christmas now that this has become worse for me, as it usually does this time of year just because of the nature of the holiday. | Alone most of the time, want to know how to cope and not care so much about it anymore and be more self sufficient. Advice? |
t3_2mbgq8 | relationships | My [25m] roommate [24f] blew up at me for hiding something from her. What I was hiding was my crush on her. | So to start off, this is somewhat of an update to a post I made in TIFU, regarding having a crush on my roommate and her seeming uncomfortable with her suspicions about it. Original post here
Things since I made the first post have been going pretty smoothly. We're still hanging out a lot and become more or less BFF's. We've been roommates for 2 months now and will have to continue living together for 10 more.
Problems arose yesterday as I was talking to another friend on facebook messenger. I had vented a lot of details about my feelings for my roommate to this friend, and that day in particular I wrote about a sexual dream I had involving the roommate the night before.
Said roommate then wanted to read my chat log with this friend due to unrelated reasons. Normally I'm okay with this, she's read my conversations with other people before, we do share a lot with eachother, but for obvious reasons I wasn't immediately comfortable with her reading this. I didn't have a smooth way to tell her no without cluing her in that there was something I especially didn't want her to read. She got increasingly angry at me for hiding something from her until she had to leave for work.
I'm not sure how to handle this. It seems to have blown up bigger than it should have. Do I come clean and tell her about my feelings? Do I make up some other story? Do I tell her to piss off and mind her own business about my private conversations (very out of character for me considering I've had no problems sharing things with her prior to this case)? Advice appreciated. | Roommate wanted to read a conversation that happens to reveal my (very likely unwanted) attraction to her, got mad at me that I wouldn't let her see it. |
t3_c4nxo | AskReddit | Any experience or advice.. please.. | Hello Reddit. I've recently met a girl through my friends who last week tried to kill herself. I knew about this, and on Thursday met her through my friend and hung out with her with others. We sort of hit it off, she seemed like such a nice and genuine person. So basically we've been hanging out for a few days, and I thought everything was fine. I thought I was being a decent person helping her out, keeping her busy and happy (as we've been having a great time getting to know each other). Tonight, we went out, and she has come back to mine. Suddenly out of nowhere she is off her face falling around. She admits to me she has done coke for the first time earlier on. She's also been drinking a lot of alcohol (I know drinking alcohol right now is definitely a bad idea.. but I can't be telling her these things).
She is now on the floor of my bathroom in severe pain. Seems like a bit of paranoia, and severe headaches.
I am comforting her, but have been asked to leave for 10 minutes while she throws up (I think).
Is this normal? Should I call an ambulance or something or is this just a normal 'come down'.
I'm really quite worried, purely through inexperience at this. | My friend has taken coke and alcohol and has severe headaches, throwing up and is really freaked out. Should I be overly concerned or is it a normal come down? |
t3_2dmc7v | relationships | Good friend (37/m) agreed to do me (33/f) a huge favor and watch my cat for the weekend, but didn't feed her. What should I do? | I am currently coming to the end of a three week vacation to four different countries. When planning this trip one of my main concerns was the welfare of my cat (f/6) while I was gone for such a long time. I hired professionals to come every day on the week days to stay for 30 minutes, clean her box, feed her, etc. but on the two weekends I asked some friends if they wouldn't mind staying at my place so there is someone to keep her company (she is a very social cat and I was worried about her being alone for so long). The friends who stayed this past weekend were my ex roommate and good friend Jason (the m/37) and his girlfriend. I had the cat while Jason and I lived together so it was perfect because my cat knows him and his girlfriend has a cat herself. I have known Jason for 8 years, his girl for one. During the weekend they texted me photos, etc. Great.
However I just got an email from my professional pet sitters that when they came in on Monday to see my cat her food bowl had only a few pieces left (she only eats dry food and the bowl is left filled at all times) and both of her water dishes were totally dry. I know Jason was there but he didn't actually feed or give water to my cat. I am pretty upset about it, but I don't know what to do. They were doing me a huge favor by staying at my place. I didn't pay them but I did leave them a very nice gift (~$100). But she had no water, I mean, that could have killed her. How do you watch a cat and not feed it? I'm really at a loss of what to do. Should I say something? Let it go? Just never ask them again? Only bring it up if they offer to look after her again? Help? | good friends did me a favor by watching my cat for me while away. Showed up but didn't actually feed her, should I say something? |
t3_3bvih6 | relationships | Do I (50f) call / text message my niece (18f) for her birthday? | Hi, last week my husband's brother passed away. Our families were close, and I text his children every day. We were there with them for the past couple of weeks, until my brother in law passed away. It was a difficult battle with cancer, and it was very sad to see a once happy go lucky, joyful man slowly die. The funeral is this weekend, and we are going for that as well of course. Right now, we are back at home to take care of a few things here before we head back to their city.
It is my niece's birthday today. I am wondering if it is appropriate to send her a "happy birthday!" text message, or if I should call her for that. I am not sure how best to phrase it.
His children are beautiful, strong and amazing. I make sure they know this, I text them daily and ask how they are doing, and to just talk. But in this situation, I am lost. I just don't want to be inconsiderate in anyway, so I am wondering what is the best way to wish her happy birthday (or if I should do it at all).
Please let me know, thank you. | niece's birthday. she lost her father last week. not sure if a cheery happy birthday is appropriate, and if I do send a message - not sure what to say. thank you. |
t3_2p5roj | relationships | Me [28 M] and her [27 F] had a good date last night, now she's barring me | Ok I'm trying to understand what is going on. This is what happened last night: a few days ago i set up a date with this girl on okcupid, so then we go out last night and i started getting real touchy once i got a few drinks into me, then we went back to her place and had sex. she wanted me to hang around and stay over (...i think she said) and the whole night she was saying things like "oh u only want me for sex" or "you're crazy" (in response to me coming onto her bigtime on the date but she was Loving it i swear...) annnd "where can i find a boyfriend" ...she joked around a lot ...or seemed to?!
she also says stuff like "can i block you?" she means - on okcupid. to which i laugh and say no
so i left her place and when i got home last night i went onto okcupid and there was a message from her asking if i got home alright, she was also asking if i had emotions for her...
fast forward to this afternoon and she won't reply to my message and shes online
usually i can read girls | go out for date with a girl, sleep with her, she seems to be enjoying herself but now wont talk to me |
t3_520i9y | relationships | Me [21 F] and Bf [22 M] How do you want your girlfriend to treat you/act to if you're upset with her but she doesn't know it? | I'm a slow person, I'm clueless to what is going wrong around me. I sh*t you not, I really don't know what is happening between us.
Me [21 F] and my bf [22 M] My bf of 2 years has been givin me the cold shoulder. We met up today to hangout and catch up on the week. When we met up earlier he's boasting about his week and what's been up. He's the extrovert and I'm the ambivert, I like going out and people, at the same time I love the indoors, silence, and being alone too. He's this super popular and super smart dude that can do anything. We're both the adventurous type, but different. He is the city person, I'm the nature/cultural type of person So back to the conversation, I would show interest and reply to all his stories. I don't have a lot to say about my week, it's been slow since classes has only started this week. So after all those conversation after 2 hours today, he just went cold shoulder and I don't know why. I ask him what's the matter, are you okay, do you want anything. But nothing comes out. Just short words and nothing. I asked him if he wants to go home, he says no. Normally after asking twice to make sure, I won't repeat it again, and then silence takes over. Drops me off at a bus stop, and then I get on the bus, say good bye, and leave, with a worried face. Now my mentality right now is going crazy, making up these horrible scenarios of what I thinkhe is thinking. Argh. Someone help me think straight, and what to do. Every thing I do seems like it's the wrong thing according to his reactions (lots of sighing). I really do love him. He's the only guy that I miss the most. Sometimes I do feel insecure cause I'm not as active as he is. | Boyfriend is upset with me, and I don't know why. He won't tell me anything, I'm giving him space right now |
t3_16fwht | relationships | Are we (F)(22), (m)(22) meant to be in the first place? | i(F) (22) am in a relationship with this very honest and sweet guy(M)(22) for the past 2.5 years.
I am very liberal with my love and affection and i expect the same; he does not like to show much of affection (his "love you"s come at 2 months intervals)
he wants someone quick-witted to talk to, and complains that I'm not and calls me names related to that. (dumb, moron etc)
most of the times because of these two problems, we are not able to talk to each other when we want to share something and end up getting pissed off at each other.
this has increased a lot in the previous few months.
we've tried hard to talk to each other and we both know the problem, but can't seem to do anything about it (there's no pill for quick-wit :/ )
For the past 2-3 months, all the times that i have met him, i've been left frustrated, hungry and unhappy.
**Are we even meant to be in the first place? | bf thinks i'm not witty enough. i think he's not affectionate enough. tried talking and failed. what next? |
t3_2roaa6 | relationships | I [26 M] am planning to break up with my long-term girlfriend [26 F]. Is it worth it to stay together a little longer just to be able to honor plans with friends? | We've been together since college, and have lived together for 4 years now. However, over the past year or so I've slowly come to the conclusion that I just don't love her anymore (I can go into more detail on that if you want, but suffice to say it's been a long time coming, but there are no negative feelings). Given this, it's pointless for me and unkind to her to stay in a relationship that, to me, has no future. We've had talks in the past where I have stated my insecurities about my own feelings, but only recently have I really been able to decide one way or the other.
However, in about a month we have a vacation planned along with a couple of friends, and I'm afraid that splitting up before that will ruin it for everyone (our living arrangements are dependent on my SO being there, and even if I offer to not go she may be so distraught as to not want to go either). So do I talk with her and explain how I'm feeling, or keep on pretending everything's ok for a while longer (which is essentially lying all the time, something that is becoming increasingly difficult for me) for the sake of ensuring her and our friends a good vacation? | I am going to break up with my girlfriend, but doing so may ruin for everyone a vacation that is planned along with several friends in a month. Should I keep the relationship going until after that? |
t3_smxu2 | self | My buddy has been down in the dumps for a while... Think you can help cheer him up, Reddit? | Hey Reddit, a friend of mine moved from California back to his home town in Wyoming last summer. He has been working two shit jobs and has been really down in the dumps lately.
I think the only thing keeping his spirits up has been the prospect of his short documentary winning a prize in a local contest. Problem is, his film has stopped getting votes online after he exhausted everything from Facebook to handing out flyers around town.
If you have the time, please help him out and vote. The film competition is set up to have a voting round first and thereafter, a judges' round for the 10 top voted-on videos. We just need a few votes (20 or so) to get back into the top 10. | my friend has been lonely and depressed, the documentary he made is his only joy these days; can you help cheer him up by voting for it? |
t3_4jc11u | AskDocs | Drinking Memory Loss - But Forgetting Things From Before I Started Drinking? | Hey Reddit. So I have a weird problem.
I'm a 19 year old female, height 5'7, weigh about 150lbs. So I thought this was totally normal of all people but after asking a few of my friends I have found that it is not the norm.
Basically, when I drink, due to being a college student, I tend to drink relatively a decent amounts, maybe 4-7 shots every two to three weeks. I always eat beforehand, drink lots of water during and after - I never get hung over and have only thrown up one time which was a result of way more alcohol than I needed.
What I have noticed is that I forget things after I drink. Not like forgetting things while I was drinking, like brown outs or black outs.
No, instead, I forget things that happened earlier that day. So if I start drinking at 9 or 10 pm, I will have a hard time remembering things that happened that morning or afternoon. And this is days after I had drank that I still can't remember. I won't even remember things that happened earlier that week.
I don't know how relevant this is, but I also stay drunk for an abnormally long amount of time. Like, usually I'm still drunk for most of the next day. The most I ever had to drink was the equivalent of 15 or so shots over the course of two to three hours, and I still felt drunk for two days after.
Obviously, you guys are going to tell me to stop drinking. And I plan on not doing so for a few months now. But is this hinting at something neurological in me? I'm kinda worried. Or is this more normal than I think it is? Any help is much appreciated! | When I drink, I forget things that happened before I started drinking. This memory loss persists even after I sober up. Is this normal or is there something genuinely wrong with me? |
t3_4m8cun | tifu | TIFU By being too excited for Pokemon | This is not from today, but I only recently joined Reddit, and this story always makes me laugh thinking back on it.
I was extremely excited for the launch of Pokemon X&Y for 3DS, and I made up my mind that I was going to download X as soon as it was available on the eshop at midnight.
The problem was the SD card I had in my 3DS wasn't big enough storage-wise to hold the download, and it was already about 10pm, meaning no retail store would likely be open for me to buy a larger card. I was bummed that I wouldn't be able to download it right away. But as luck would have it, my roommate told me that the SD card in his Wii was bigger and that I could just use that.
I popped the SD card out of the Wii and took it into my room to back it up before I formatted it. I had a 2011 iMac, so it had the SD card slot on the side. However, right next to it was the CD drive, which without looking, I slipped the SD card right into. Immediately I realized that the SD card shouldn't go all the way inside the slot, and that I had made a grave mistake.
I closed the door to my room so my roommate wouldn't know what I had done and turned off my computer, hoping that maybe I could tip the machine on its side and just shake it out. That didn't work, so after about 10 minutes, I swallow my pride and walk into the living room to tell my compete science major roommate the mistake I just made.
I prefaced it by telling him he wasn't allowed to laugh. He claims that he's never wanted to laugh at anything more in his life, but agreed to help me. We crafted a small set of "arms" out of paper clips, and with the help of gravity, got the card to sit just right in the drive where we could pry it back out.
At that point I was able to put the card into the correct slot, back it up, format it, and insert it into my 3DS, where I couldn't even download Pokemon because the eshop servers were too overloaded. | I got so excited about buying Pokemon I went to back up an SD card and wound up getting it stuck inside of my CD drive instead. |
t3_53ssld | relationships | 24F I just started dating this wonderful guy 24M and all I can think about is the other girls he is talking to, I don't want to be jealous or care | I was silly and checked out his fb profile after the second date. I saw he recently added a few beautiful girls and my heart instantly sank. The idea that he is flirting and chatting up other girls hurts so much but I don't want it to! I really like him. I want to care for him selflessly and not expect to possess him. Regardless, my imagination keeps wandering and I keep asking myself if I'm just the girl he sees on the weekends and has another girl he is seeing on the side. I will never be the only girl a guy is attracted to, there are so many beautiful women in the world. I don't want them to intimidate me or make me worry. | We've just been on a few dates so it doesn't feel natural to ask for exclusivity. I'm afraid of bringing it up and I just want to accept that guys will flirt and talk to other girls and not care. |
t3_15kchc | AskReddit | How do I tell my wife that she has a mustache? | Seriously though. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it's getting longer, and it's getting harder for me to ignore it. It's not so severe that it's incredibly visible, but it's still bad. | I'm a pussy who can't have an adult conversation that might upset my wife. Can I work my way around it? |
t3_2ns6sc | relationships | My [19M] best friend's [18F] FWB [18M] has a girlfriend and my best friend doesn't know. What do I do? | I've been friends with one of my best friend's since I was 6. We've seen each other through everything, and we're extremely personal with each others' life details.
2 years ago she broke up with her boyfriend of a year and a half, one of my good friends. It was extremely messy, as he broke up with her due to her being sort of crazy and clingy. She was a wreck for awhile, but she eventually came to terms with it.
Recently over the summer, they started having contact again, and agreed to become friends with benefits. I have no real opinion on it, as it's her life, and whatever makes her happy I'll support her. She still has a lot of feelings for him, and would like to date him again. He has already said he doesn't want a relationship and only wants to be FWB. I've told her this is going to lead to be a mess, but she knows this and acknowledges it's a bad idea but does it anyway.
Last night I was at a party with him, as him and many of my friends are back for Thanksgiving break from our respective colleges and he let slip that he has a girl/girlfriend down at his college. I know for a fact he has told my friend that he isn't seeing anyone and that he hasn't had much luck down at his college.
My dilemma is what do I do with this? I've know my best friend for much longer than I've known my good friend. She is still extremely possessive and jealous when it comes to him, but I want to make sure she isn't hurt, as she's obviously being taken advantage of by him, but I know telling her this information will make her angry and sad again. I helped her through the tough time after he broke up with her the first time, and I don't want to see this happen again because I know it will if she finds out. What do I do? | Best female friend's FWB has a girlfriend and my best female friend does not know, is possessive and jealous. |
t3_2xbroz | relationships | Me [19M] I feel like the bottom | I am a 19 year old Male. I always feel like I'm the bottom of every situation. I feel like everyone sees me as a doormat. I try to be kind to others but I don't ever find myself in control of almost any situation.
I feel like at work, where we work in a small group and work together, I feel like the bottom rung. I feel like everyone enjoys everyone else's jokes more. I feel like I am the butt of everyone's jokes. I always get the feeling like no matter how hard I try to earn respect in a situation, it is seen as dumb and childish and I feel ridiculed. Even with my S/O, I feel not like an equal but as a subordinate. I feel like she doesn't see me as an equal to her. She doesn't say anything to make me feel in such a manner, it just does.
It's concerning to me that I am never in control of a situation and that I am never the number 1 to anybody. All my friends outside of work I know they see me as the bottom dirt of everything. I am excluded because of my S/O and how much time I spend with her. Even if I have spent plural days in a row talking to them, it still comes back to being garbage and the bottom of everything. I'm just lost in life | I feel out of control in every possible situation in life. I am seen as the bottom of the bottom in everything and I don't know what to do. |
t3_wfk3c | relationships | Boyfriend never makes plans with me. | 22/f, 25/m, 10 months.
So lately my bf has not been putting much effort towards our relationship. If I make plans or suggest an activity, day, and time, he's perfectly happy to go along if he doesn't work. But when it comes to taking a day off or him making plans with me, it never happens.
I've been trying to suck it up lately because he's been working every day/60+ hours a week, but my birthday is coming up. I made plans on the day all our friends usually get together to celebrate and suggested a week in advance that he should take that day off since he's been wanting a day off and, well, it's my birthday celebration!
So today he mentions he works all day both on my birthday and the evening of the celebration. This not only hurts my feelings that he can't make time for me at least one of those days, but I'm also embarrassed that I'm going to have to keep telling all our friends at the celebration that he's at work instead of celebrating my birthday.
Added twist, he knows my birthdays always end up not working out and depressing me (ex, no one shows up, everyone is out of town, I get food poisoning, my car breaks down, the list is 7 or 8 years long) and I told him this just days ago, and how I hoped I would finally manage to have a good one.
When I was upset that he couldn't come, he said we should just celebrate at an event I planned, convinced him to go to, and took off from work to spend time with him, on a day he has off. I don't find this to be a fair trade purely because we would have donebit anyway and I was the one making the effort.
I guess my question is, does he actually care about me at all? He's a practical romance kind of guy, not sweeping gestures or sweet nothings, but all I really wanted was some sort of effort. Even just getting cooked dinner or taken to a movie would have been nice. | boyfriend makes no effort, won't take off work for my birthday or birthday party, makes me feel unloved. Does he even care? |
t3_1umyqk | relationships | (20/F) My SO (20/M) has no life skills and it frustrates me! Feeling more like a mother than a partner | My SO is amazing! Supportive, funny, smart, ect. His major flaw is he has no life skills.
He doesn't know how to make professional calls, fill out a job application, shop for certain items, speak to someone in a position of authority or write formal emails. He can't write a resume, doesn't know how to speak up or make quick decisions in a emergency.
He'll try doing the things somewhat, but it always comes with a million questions. He won't do anything if I don't tell him exactly how to do it. I've had several medical emergencies where I've had to instruct him while in pain or half conscious on what to do.
He freezes up and just asks "What do I do?". If he's not explicitly told what to do, he'll be lost for hours. He won't speak to people unless I tell him what to say before hand.
For example: if he has any appointments, I have to set them up. I also have to deal with all the bills or sorting out issues with companies. He won't talk to people over the phone or in person unless I coach him. Even something as simple as calling a taxi. He'll refuse, then give in and ask what to say. If I tell him to figure it out, he'll stay silent and then ask again and again until I give in and give him a script.
His social/problem solving skills are zero. We've been living together a year now but it doesn't improve.
I don't mind helping him out or offering guidance, but I feel like I'm parenting him.
I'm worried this could be social anxiety or something serious.
When he's comfortable with the people he is speaking to, he can be charismatic and funny. He understand what's appropriate and inappropriate. But under pressure he freezes. I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do.
I've suggested counseling, but he was against it.
(Although that may be a cultural thing. His family is from a Latin country and doesn't place any merit in therapy. They are very old fashioned) | My SO freezes up and wants to be told word-for-word what to do and say in social situations or situations where he's under pressure. |
t3_nl6a0 | dating_advice | Might've fucked up, not sure what to do next... | M 18 here, she is 18 too.
I've had a crush on her for quite a while, and during our exams we chatted a lot; and I thought we made a good connection, even though I'm very shy and am kinda 'afraid' to talk to girls...
So yesterday there was this party after our last exam... and there was some drinking involved. I asked my drunk friends for help because I've never been in a relationship before, and they all said I just had to go to her and tell her how I feel for her.
After a lot of pep talk from my friends, I asked if she wanted to go outside for a second because I wanted to talk to her. I then told her that I really like her, and might want to be more than friends... To which she responded: 'I like you too, but I'm not over my ex yet (they broke up 1-2 months ago), so I can't make a decision yet.'
We went back inside and then I just let it go for a bit, trying not to look too needy... then an hour or so later she texts me where I'm at, I answer and then she just passes me by... I guess I should've done something then, but again, didn't want to seem needy.
Some time later all my friends had left, and I was kinda down... So I text her that I might go home soon, to which she responded I had to go to this other bar, because she was there, so I come over and I tell her that I feel stupid for telling her so directly, and that I'm sorry to have put her in that position... She said it's ok, and kinda cool that I said it, and left it at that, 5 minutes later she leaves without saying anything and then I went home...
Now I feel like a complete retard thinking I fucked up, and making it fucking awkward since tomorrow we're going to a party together... And I wanna talk to her again, but I don't wanna seem needy yet again + I wanna give her some time to think about it. | Confessed my love to a girl, she said she's not over her ex yet, don't know what to do now... |
t3_100cem | relationships | Can a relationship between an atheist and theist work? | Hi guys! I was hoping to get some advice from some of you awesome peeps. I've been dating my GF for about 2.5 years (I'm 23, she's 21), and we've had some ups and downs, but its been really amazing lately, until recently... She had started thinking about our future together, and well... I'm an agnostic atheist, and she strongly believes in God (she's a Bah'ai). We used to debate about God back when we were initially dating, and I actually managed to get her to admit that there might be no God, and she thought that for a while. But then she decided she still really wanted to stick with religion and that it's a big part of her life. But it's not a big part of my life at all.. I grew up Catholic but stopped believing during University. But even though I was Catholic, my family was super relaxed about religion, almost never talking about it, and and barely went to church. It was never a big part of my life. But her family is veeery religious.
There are a couple of problems with this. Firstly, I'm not sure that her family would ever get over the fact that I don't believe in God. My girlfriend brought up that she was not only scared of that, but also scared that her family would drive me crazy and cause me to resent her and her family down the road. I have spent some time with them, and I get along with them okay... but I couldn't say whether or not it would be a huge problem for me down the road.
Secondly, she is scared for what would happen if we had kids. She would want to raise them Bah'ai - is it possible for her to raise them in her religion while offering my views on the subject? Or would I basically have to stay out of that part of their life completely?
I love this girl with all of my heart - I don't think there is anyone else that I feel so like myself with. She is my best friend. Letting go of this relationship because of religion would suck so much... I just need some logical, to the point advice. Thanks in advance :) | we differ greatly on religion, her family isn't a fan of me being atheist, and she is scared that it wouldn't work if we were to have kids because of our conflicting views |
t3_2mhskt | askwomenadvice | My girlfriend wants to become a model and she has someone who said they can help her... | She used to work at a diner and one of the waiters there is an older man in his 50's. This man wants to help her get into modeling. Apparently his wife is a Victoria secret model who is Russian. She apparently travels the world doing fashion shows. While her husband works at a diner. Now my girlfriend has never met this woman, and she has invited my girlfriend to go to new York City tonight to stay the night. My girlfriend has never met this woman. Never talked to her, only corresponding through emails. I don't feel comfortable with this situation at all. If you Google her name, nothing shows up. My girlfriend hasn't even seen a picture of this woman. Am I being too protective here? I don't like this situation and I've tried to convey that to her but she keeps telling me she has no choice and won't listen to me. What do I do? | my girlfriend met an Older man who is sending her to new York to stay the night with a so called Victoria secret model who can't be found on the Internet. |
t3_3q4ix4 | tifu | TIFU - CockBlocked Myself... | I'll make it short. This happened like... 2-3 days ago.
Invited a girl to my place for some drinks. We drink enough to kill a small child. Or probably a regular sized child for that matter. But anyway, things are going okay. She's getting a bit frisky, and then we go out to a party. We are sloppy idiots at the party, everyone is sober and we're shitfaced making out. Embarrassed ourselves... But that's not the fuck up. I then FU, when I said "Let's get out of here, and go back to my place." She agreed, and I was so eager to get out of there I forgot we had a DD that night. So we walked roughly 45 minutes back home. Killed the mood, she went home. | Got so excited for sex, I forgot someone was going to drive us home, walked 45 minutes back home, killed the mood. No sex for me. |
t3_1p1t7q | dating_advice | Asking a girl out at her job. | Hello everyone, just a quick back story to my little situation. I work in a semi-big city in the downtown area, and a few weeks ago I was in line at a Chipotle waiting to get some food. There's a cute girl in front of me. We shared eye contact a couple times and she seemed to have an interest in me, but nothing really happened while we inched forward to get our order in. Just a couple of "looks".
After we both get our food we meet at the drink/plastic ware section and flirt a little bit. It was nice, but unfortunately that's where our interaction ended. I planned on eating in and she took her food to go. I simply watched her leave and it kinda bothered me. I chalked it up as another wasted opportunity, beat myself up a little bit and proceeded to drown my sorrows in a big, fat, burrito.
But low and behold as I am eating my burrito I notice her walking into a building complex! Now she had on what appeared to be work clothes but I couldn't tell which store she worked at. After I finished my burrito I built up the courage to walked in there, picked a random store, and would you believe my luck I found her!
She was in the middle of helping a customer but to be honest I just chickened out because I couldn't think of anything to say to her. So I left and walked back to my office. The more I think about it, the more I can't handle the fact that I didn't even try. I have extreme approach anxiety and whenever I do muster up the courage I can come off super awkward.
So, is there help for me? Should I even bother asking her while she's at work? She has to get hit on quite a bit and I really don't want to be "that guy" who does that to her.
I think I've settled on: Introducing myself, apologizing for bothering her at work, telling her I noticed her when I was in her store the other day, and then just asking her to lunch sometime.
What do you all think? | Borderline stalked a girl to figure out where she worked after a pleasant encounter. But I need help approaching her and eventually asking her to a lunch date while she's at work. |
t3_j3t6k | AskReddit | Typical love story.. | Hello dear Reddit.
After being a long time lurker I decided that in my drunkness, I would make a thread.
The story is a typical one, but i just don't feel that I could find the right answers by searching on Reddit.
I fell in love with a very good friend of mine about 4-5 years ago. The feelings have gone up and down, but have lately gone crazy and i can't stop thinking about this girl. I have a girlfriend and we've been together for a year now, but i don't feel the same 'feeling' anymore for her. I talked to my probably best friend, a girl friend, about this and she told me that it would never work between us, but that without my knowledge she's known my love towards her for years and has kept it as a secret to protect our friendship. The reason i haven't told her was to not ruin a good friendship, but apparently i've been wrong about all of this for some time.
Now, the questions comes: Should i tell this girl, what i feel and that i know that she knows, to let it come out? She's going to travel for some time in a few days, so i have to make a decision soon. I feel confused and a bit sad a lot of the time, and i can't stop thinking about this girl. Should i tell my girlfriend (which i love but ain't in love with anymore. She's still crazy about me)? | Crazy about a girl for 5 years. Just found out she's known it for several years. Should i tell her that I'm still in love and tell my current girlfriend of a year that I'm not in love with her anymore? |
t3_2l32ky | relationships | Me [22 M] not sure how to bring up parents are racist to woman I am pursuing [22 F] | Obviously not something I am proud of or agree with but my parents are very racist, this has not been a problem before even though I have been in relationships with women they definitely would not approve (It's my life not theirs at the end of the day), they have never been satisfied with any woman I have gone out with anyway.
Regardless I feel I need to tell the person I am currently talking too about this, I have told her I don't get along well with my parents because of certain beliefs they have which I think are wrong, she said she understood but not sure if she understands exactly what I meant... do I tell her straight up or wait until a few dates and then tell her? | Parents are racist and not sure how to tell woman I like about this even though I have hinted I don't get along with them for varying reasons. |
t3_16icgq | relationship_advice | I[24m] am a total fucking emotional wreck over my coworker[30f] | fuck :( It's been 1 and a half years since I've known her. I crushed on her within 3 days. she's very charming and confident and always laughing and having fun with everyone. While i'm shy, insecure, and never had a girlfriend. Imagine my surprise when she started flirting with me in a way that's distinctly different from the way she flirts with everyone else, and starts calling me her boyfriend and asking me to take her out somewhere. Imagine my devestation when somehow I either turned her off or she was just messing with me after she repeatedly made excuses why she can't go out when i asked her out several times.
It has been a year since that incident, and i haven't talked to her and switched to another shift to avoid her. But now i'm going back to class and i have to work the same shift as her. I see her everyday. I was cold shouldering her at first, but she's so god damn charming and friendly and i can't help but warm up to her.
Now i'm crushing SO HARD again! fuckk. I just realized that i spent this entire morning thinking about my past interactions with her, thinking about my future interactions with her, and just replaying those memories and possible memories over and over and over again in my head for 4 hours straight while lying in bed.
I know i have no chance with her. i know she has a boyfriend and she is out of my league. Maybe if I get in shape and work on my game, but that will be years until i get on her level.
I just can't deal with these emotions. They are destroying me. Going to work, seeing her flirt and hug other guys, hearing her on her phone with her boyfriend, clinging on to her every word and action towards me.. my god. It's like some mixture of heaven and hell when i'm around her.
What the fuck do i do. i need this job. I need this shift. I can't avoid her. just what the fuck... | I can't stop thinking that my coworker is the most amazing beautiful woman on this entire planet even though i am fully aware how illogical that is. |
t3_3hfgb3 | tifu | TIFU by using a duvet. | So last night at around 12AM I was fairly cold and decided to use a duvet instead of a regular sheet to keep myself warm and head off to bed, but by 4AM I'd awoken incredibly warm and honestly in a slightly psychotic state.
See, when I get really warm at night I tend to have very vivid, clear and often violent dreams and this time around was no exception. Whilst I can't remember exactly what it was I was dreaming about, I remember a lot of explosions and typical sorts of milatary things happening.
So when I woke up from this at 4AM, I was still of the mind that it was very much real and I had awoken with a "bomb", on me. My best thought to get rid of this "bomb" at the time, was to open the window and throw it out as hard as I could to get myself out of the apparant blast radius.
Except it wasn't a bomb. Instead, I'd picked my phone up off the bed and thrown it as hard as I could out into the front garden.
It took me about 10-15 minutes to calm down from my apparent brush with death before I realised what exactly had happened. I decided to go downstairs and open the door to fetch my phone from the front garden. Thankfully no-one was about as I searched the garden with a torch and a dressing gown, and eventually I found the phone by the far end of the front lawn, about 8 metres from the front of the house, and thankfully I'd not damaged it too much, and so far it seems to have only suffered a bit of damage to the front speaker which I never really use anyway, and I'd also somehow managed to avoid waking anyone up and having to explain my situation to them. | After having a sort of weird fever-dream, I threw my phone out the window, and found it relatively unscathed in the garden 15 minutes later. |
t3_1p558n | legaladvice | What is an attorney obligated to tell law enforcement / prosecutor / judge? NC | As the title says, location is NC. I asked a question a little while ago and I am a bit confused as to one portion of the replies...
What is an attorney (both a court appointed attorney and a privately retained attorney, if there is any difference) obligated to tell a judge or prosecutor, or obligated to report to law enforcement?
For background, my girlfriend was detained by a plainclothes officer for shoplifting & she gave a false name. Yes, very stupid. We know, we admit it, we want to fix it. Because she had no ID, she was arrested and taken to holding, where she stuck to her fake identity and involved me in the whole deal by asking (begging, in tears and while having a panicking breakdown) to come and get her out.
I, also foolishly, went down to the station and said to the magistrate, yes this person is [fake name].
She's been to her first appearance, she's been assigned a court-appointed attorney.
Our fear is that if we tell him what happened, he will then tell the judge/DA, who will of course charge both of us with obstruction.
Isn't it possible that we could hire our own lawyer who will represent us in this, get a deal with the prosecution wherein the obstruction charge is reduced to something or...something...if she agrees to plead guilty and I'm left out of it somehow?
I mean, as far as the magistrate / law enforcement knows, she is just a girl who lives in the same large, shared house as me. I only know her in passing. | What, if anything, is a lawyer required to tell the DA / judge / police if he is told by his client that they gave a false name when arrested? |
t3_3q83iu | relationship_advice | Looking For Advice From People Who Have Been Cheated On By Their Spouse. | I'm (M40) here because I don't really have anyone else to talk to about the specifics of my 15 year marriage falling apart. For various reasons I don't want to go into I would prefer not to out my whore soon to be ex-wife (F40) out to the world if it can be avoided. This has also put me in a position where I can't really vent to anyone about it and I feel like I really need to do that. But my biggest concern is this, how do I not carry this into other relationships? My gut told me long ago something was going on, but there was no other real reason to think anything was going on. Long story short something happened one day and I finally went and snooped. I fully expected that I was being paranoid and that I would find nothing. I was wrong. I didn't dig deep, I truthfully didn't want to know details. That it was going on was enough. I have no idea how far it went or how long it was going on, and I'm ok with that. What worries me is in future relationships that my gut is going to default to suspicious. It's likely possible I'm over thinking this in the heat of the situation, but it concerns me. | Wife is a whore, don't have anyone to talk to about it and I'm concerned on how it will effect me in future relationships. |
t3_1e6kui | BreakUps | 19[m] need help with 18[f] and if i should just let it go | i met a girl on omegle(what a loser i am right?) and we both live close meet up go on a date and then text for a while after. she comes over next time, ends up with us going to 3rd base, then cuddle a bit and she leaves.
while texting she asks do i like her? i say not like a girlfriend but like a friend, i said this because she only wanted to be FWB and nothing more. she says she wants to stop going anything like text talk or hangout, and that she feels depressed, i ask after a while is it cause i said i didn't like her enough to have her as a girlfriend. she says yes i tell her i do like her cause i did i just didn't want toascare her since she wanted to be FWB we end up okay for bit.
we text for a while and she says she doesn't want to do anything with me again like talk or meet, i ask why? she says cause shes depressed and doesn't feel the same way for me as i do for her, i didn't make some big move and say i love her just talked normally and flirted. we talk normally for a bit after that and then we hangout one more time and hookup and play around a bit.
we end it with her saying she likes talking to me and feels bad cause she doesn't like me the same way i like her. i say we aren't gonna go anywhere or even talk much since she feels this way and that we should just stop dragging this out. we aren't talking now. i check facebook and am blocked by her which really bothers me, i'm gonna go away for a while with no phone service or internet and really want to ask why she blocked me? and kinda want to still talk to her | met girl online really liked her, shes depressed, doesn't want to hangout anymore, i ended it, i'm blocked on facebook and now i miss her or am annoyed a bit. |
t3_49qxd7 | relationships | I [20, F] go from honeymoon to hatred in the blink of an eye | Hey reddit.
I'm 20, been in 3 relationships and one half relationship (we didn't want a relationship with each other, but we recognized the exclusivity of our feelings? it was weird).
Basically, my problem is that for the first month-three months of a relationship, I'm loving it. I like the person, like hanging out with them, the whole shebang. You know, the honeymoon period. But when that period ends for me, I don't just start to settle into the relationship. The sparks disappear along with *any semblance of feelings.* I then spent the next couple of months starting to get more and more distant until I inevitably break things off because I'm just not a good girlfriend anymore.
What's wrong with me? It's not like there's no desire to continue the relationship. I can remember all the reasons I liked the person and why I still desperately want to have feelings for them, but it's almost as if my brain is subconsciously forcing me to push them away. I've never had a relationship last more than six months, and I know it's an issue with me.
How do I fix this? I don't want to hurt people, and I hate dating people or getting romantically close to them now because I'm so worried I'm going to shut off without a reason one day. | My feelings for people disappear after a couple of months. I don't want the honeymoon stage to last forever, but I don't want to actively try to get away from people anymore either. |
t3_10ooo4 | relationships | i want to break up but im scared of the aftermath. | so i (20) want to break up with my boyfreind (26) of two years because i dont think im ready for a relashionship yet..at least not with him i was abused very heavilly growing up as a kid so when he takes his anger issues out on me i just cant take it and i get more and more depressed.
i hate to admit it but whenever i pass another man that looks attractive i cant help but want to have sex him. i would never cheat on him but latelly i think i actually could.while watching porn i would always think of live cams as sort of cheating..but i watched them today..and i felt like i was cheating but i dident care and it almost killed me inside.
right now we live with his parents because we lost our place(scumbag roomates stealing our rent money and buying drugs)so his mom said we could live with her.she is 2 hours away from my freinds. so i cant ask to stay with them until i get my life together and i have no freinds here..i just dont know what to do..help?\ | boyfreind is verbally abusive,i was abused as a kid,lives with bf parents 2 hours away from old life.want to break up but has nowhere to go |
t3_3hhfuo | tifu | TIFU by asking God in prayer to bring my brother back to Mormonism. | So, this happened a couple years ago, but it is a fuck up that haunts me daily.
My oldest brother had stopped attending church when I was very young, yet I really looked up to the guy. He was a typical older brother and I often was on the losing end of his jokes and WWE bodyslams, but I still saw him as the pinnacle of 1990s cool.
Well, about the time he left his wife he decided to leave the church too. He and his wife had been having troubles and he always seemed at odds with church rules, so he left both. This departure caused a big rift in the family for years to come.
Fast forward to me being 21 with the biggest book of Mormon boner for Joseph Smith and the church that you had ever seen.
I had started my Mormon mission and was receiving lesson training at the MTC (missionary training center) in Provo Utah when it hit me... My brother was going to suffer eternally if I didn't muster the most epic little Mormon prayer on his behalf. I was gonna orate a prayer so powerful I would be grabbing God by the ear to make him do my will!
Fast forward a little later. There I was, in disbelief of all the truths behind Mormon origin that I was purposefully not told until I had invested so much of my time into the church. It was only a day after coming to grips with that realization that my brother called and told me that he started going to church again. I was blindsided! When I was in a moment of great need to have a friend that could relate and someone to help me understand and cope with the transition, I had lost the one person who I really thought would help me through.
Moral of the story? Don't plant rhuebarb on the side of a hill. | Asked god to save my brother from eternal Mormon hell, only to have him return to Mormonism as I later was exiting myself. |
t3_3gh5kn | relationship_advice | [28/m]My normally vanilla wife [30/f] confessed she wants to try an MMF threesome. How do I convey just how uncomfortable I am with this? | Long story short, my normally plain-Jane wife got drunk the other night and confessed she wants to try two guys at once. I was really hoping it was just drunk rambling, but she brought it up again the next day and asked what I thought.
I'm usually the sexually liberal one in the relationship, and am the one that prods her into trying new things and opening herself up to new experiences. However, I am extremely uncomfortable with this. I am absolutely not a fan of bringing other people into our bedroom. It's my one turnoff, and I've felt sick ever since she brought it up. I just can't do it, I keep imagining what it would be like to see her with another guy and it makes my breath catch and my head swim.
I told her I wasn't really comfortable with the idea, but she keeps pressing it and wants me to really think about it. She asked if I would be ok with FFM, and I told her it's no different. She said we could set rules like no kissing, and she would only blow the guy, and there's no emotional or romantic attachment and it's just sex. I still don't think I could emotionally handle seeing her with another guy. I'm afraid it will destroy our marriage in the long run.
So, now I'm stuck between two difficult choices: I can stick to my convictions and refuse, and have her end up resenting me for preventing her from experiencing something she wants to try, or I can give in and risk emotional distraught and a potential dissolving of our relationship.
I don't know what to do. | Wife wants to try MMF threesome and I'm opposed. I can either do it and risk being emotionally scarred, or I can refuse and have her resent me. |
t3_43d5a8 | relationships | I [18 M] need advice on trying to get into relationships | I've only had one girlfriend, who is now my ex, which took me about a year to get with her. We were best friends but now we're not friends anymore - I guess we were better off as friends.
There wasn't anyone so nice like her, who was so accepting of me, and she was also the first real female friend of mine I've ever got close with.
Anyways, she's out of my life except when I do see her in the hallways in college. But I decided to go into this Spring Semester all fresh, with an open mind, trying to be the most outgoing and optimistic person, as if I was an actor.
But I feel like I need to stabilize myself emotionally to prevent myself from having neurotic thoughts or mental breakdowns just from seeing her alone, or with someone else. I need to get into the dating scene, like I need to play the fields and find the one. I'm 18 and I'm scared to shit that if I keep stalling for the next few years, I'll die alone as a virgin.
The problem with me is that I'm socially awkward, I have a different sense of humor, I don't understand jokes people say, I can't laugh, and I get bored easily. Also, I'm scared to just talk to a girl, especially girls that have a lot of friends. I'm scared to talk to girls in front of all their friends. | Need to get into dating again in order to fully move on from my ex, and I just want to get more experience with girls. |
t3_1wclyy | relationship_advice | My [26/m] girlfriend [27/f] of two years is still friends with her ex | I've always been the kind of guy to be super laid back and confident about this stuff, basically generally I know a girl wouldn't cheat and if she would then I wouldn't want her around anyways so it's not something I'd normally push.
They went out for a really long time, and had a huge falling out over an abortion which basically ruined their relationship. She told me their entire story and said she no longer has feelings for him and they both have moved on. Originally I didn't really care, I just didn't want to meet the guy. She texts with him once in a while and also hangs out with him though rarely assuming she's telling me every time they do.
Her and I are together almost daily. We're talking about moving in together. She seems really committed to the relationship. I surprised her on my lunch break by bringing lunch to her a couple weeks ago when she was sick and later that night she gave me a card saying how much she loves and appreciates me. But I can't help but feeling uncomfortable about the fact that she still talks to her ex. This has never happened to me before, and I feel shitty about even feeling like this, because I think it'd be manipulative to tell her she can't talk to him or something. I don't know how to bring it up without sounding like I don't trust her; I don't know if I should even bring it up.
She leaves her phone around all the time; I know the password and could easily snoop on their texts and her FB messages, but feel like that'd be a shitty thing to do and am ashamed for even having the urge to do so. I just feel really weird about this situation, but then feel bad for feeling like I can't trust her, then feel like an idiot because if she had something to hide she wouldn't be leaving her phone sitting around, but then have this urge to look to make sure they're not flirting or something. Ugh. | My girlfriend still talks to her ex, claims they are just friends now, but I feel uncomfortable yet don't want to tell her who she can and can't talk to |
t3_2qkdu2 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [20M] of three years: Is it okay to have sex with other people while on a break? | I found out the hard way on Christmas Eve that he made four online dating profiles in the past month and met up with a chick last week because he needed sex. They kissed and that's it. Upon searching her username that I found on his snapchat she has a porn cam account, a dating account, and considers herself "a hot milf" with three kids under the age of 6... but that's not the point.
I told him to delete everything we're going on a break until I sort things out because he wants me to stay. He says I can do whatever I want. In a way this is finally my chance to have sex with a girl (I swing both ways) or even maybe my guy friend. Is it wrong to do this? Or fair because he cheated on me? | boyfriend created an online dated profile and made out with a "hot milf" so now I'm on a break, but not sure if it's okay to finally fulfill my urge to have sex with girls/my guy friend. |
t3_39fxku | relationships | Me [18m] got cheated on by my ex [17f] of nearly 2 years with a good friend [19m], and I don't know how to treat my friend. | My used-to-be good friend, I will call him Art, is now with my ex after she cheated on me with him and I have not spoken to him since, if you would like more info on how that went down you can look [here] Art is friends with nearly all of my friends and we used to hangout a lot. Well he just recently threw a party and invited all our friends but me, and my friends went. One of my best friends even went, and when I asked him the night of while he was there (I didn't know he was there or that this was happening) if he wanted to go do something, he told me he was busy, avoiding telling me that he was with Art. I am very disappointed my even better friend went, and after all of them are aware of the situation and have sympathized with me.
What is the best way to react to this situation and how am I supposed to treat my so called friends? I can provide more info if needed. | Ex of 2 years cheated on me with a friend, said friend is excluding me from my friends, best friend went to his party and avoided telling me. |
t3_1esxti | relationship_advice | [15/m] The person I like [15/g] is confusing. | So I've liked this girl since we've first started talking (about 5 1/2 months ago) but she was in a relationship. I shrugged it off and hoped for the best and maybe one day she would feel the same. About a month ago, she went out with my best friend. During that relationship we hung out a lot and one weekend, i slept over. Incidentally, we ended up cuddling next to each other and right before she fell asleep, she said that she likes me. I was happy and everything but I felt bad for my friend. The next day we ended up making out a couple times and I asked what we were going to do and she kind of nonchalantly said "We'll figure something out." About half a week ago, he broke up with her so i swooped in to ask her out (looking back, it might have been too soon but then again, she went out with my friend five minutes after she broke up with her ex). She told me that I was too good of a friend and that she thought we wouldn't work out. So I'm sitting here, liking this girl for almost six months, and she tells me that a week after kissing me. I have no idea how to handle this and I'm really lost. It's really affecting me in my school, social, and personal life. To be honest, I'm really sad about it. I haven't eaten in three days just because I'm not hungry. Everytime I think about what happened, I get sick because I know she won't like me back. Is there anyway she might change her mind? Do I not talk to her to try to get out of the friend zone or do I talk to her the same and maybe she'll come around? | Girl I like made out with me while dating my friend. She won't go out with me because I'm too good of a friend. What do I do? |
t3_1cxds5 | relationships | I [F34] don't know if I'm being irrational about wanting my photographer boyfriend [m35] to edit as many of the photos he took of me as he would one of his models. | I have been dating my boyfriend for about six months. I have known and never had a problem with the fact that he promotes go-go dancers and a couple models. His true dream is to be a photographer, has recently gotten into pin-up photography, and bought a lot of new equipment to do it. He asked me to do a pin-up shoot. I'm relatively attractive, but don't kid myself that I'm some kind of model. I thought it was impossible for me to take a good photo. But, he was trying to build his portfolio and content for his website and I thought it would be fun, so I did it.
He only edited seven of my photos and they weren't even ones I thought I looked best in. He had initially promised me a book, like you would get if you were paying someone to take the photos to give your husband on your wedding day (people do this). I had to pester him to do that many during a time he was laid off from work. There has been no further mention of a book.
It's three weeks later and he just had a model sit with him for a pin-up shoot, who had three outfit changes. He told me he would edit 10 to 50 of hers and any other model. When I complained, he said I shouldn't compare myself to the other girls. I should add the models don't pay him.
So, now I'm hurt, a little embarrassed, and feeling used. He asked me to write columns for his site, he's trying to build content, and I've been working on one. He asked me to pick some photos I like and he'd edit them. He did, but they aren't the ones I picked or felt I looked my best in and I was so proud of the photos! Now, I feel like an after-thought. Just content for the site and to build his portfolio.
I realize it's all superficial, but it bothers me. | Photographer boyfriend edited only a few of my photos after promising to make me my own book, and plans to edit 10 to 50 of any model he shoots. Don't know if I'm right to have hurt feelings. |
t3_4e7xek | relationships | I [27 M] have misgivings about my first girlfriend [24 F] in 6 years. | I've been going out with this girl for 6 months. I met her on tinder and we've got similar interests and I really enjoyed meeting with her at first.
Some background. Prior to this I'd been depressed for some time and worried particularly about girls. I went to see a therapist regarding my anxieties about the opposite sex and he really helped me frame it differently in my mind, leading to a boosted self confidence and me dating again for the first time in 6 years. I met a few girls and although they didn't persist I felt like I was learning something.
I met my current girlfriend in the tail end of 2015, and after going out quite infrequently we began to see each other more often and she asked me if were more than dating, so I said yes.
Since then however, I've begun to feel real misgivings about the relationship. It's got me declining to meet up with her, or making up reasons not to stay over each others' place. I'm usually quite emotional, and people I know are able to guess what I'm thinking, but with her I'm a closed book. Not because of her. She's pretty, clever and challenges me, and better yet, understands my previous anxieties.
But something feels wrong. I feel like she's more into me than I am into her. It's selfish, but I feel like I only see her when I want to. And it makes me feel like a scumbag.
I get the impression that I'm just feeling trapped after so long being single, because there doesn't seem to be any real reason for me to break it off. But why am I avoiding her?
I'm going to talk to her about it this week anyway, just to let her know that I'm feeling this way. But am I just sabotaging something that I should be happy about?
**[ | ] I'm with my first girlfriend in 6 years and am considering breaking up with her because I keep finding reasons not to see her, despite the fact that she seems a really good match for me. |
t3_558iee | relationships | My [19F] gf [18F] wants me to tutor her | I am in my second-year of my undergrad degree, majoring in math. I work part-time as a tutor and charge $30/hr to my students (mostly high school kids).
My gf is in her first year in a biochem program. She's struggling a bit with her first year calculus course, so I have helped her here and there with her assignments or homework questions.
Last night she asked me if I would be willing to tutor her for an hour every week and she would pay me my rate.
I feel really uncomfortable with this. It's not that I don't want the money, it's that I feel bad making her pay. But, even though I don't mind helping here and there as she needs (we usually work together at the library or my place), if I'm going to spend an hour once a week devoted to helping her, that's an hour less that I can spend on my own work.
Should I accept her offer to pay me? Should I charge her less ($20/hr or something)? Should I just ask her to find another tutor? | My gf wants to pay me to tutor her and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with mixing business and pleasure (lol). |
t3_2mci3r | relationships | Me [25 M] with Girlfriend[20 F] GF Telling me things that I said earlier I did not say. | I feel like I am saying things to my girlfriend that she is pretending she does not hear
Ex. She just came home from work and I said "Hello what's up?" she did not really respond but did acknowledge that I said something. Several minutes went by and she said this to me " Your'e not even going to ask me how my day went?" in a very offended kind of way. To which I responded " I already asked you what's up and tried to initiate a conversation, which you chose not to engage in". She then denies that I inquired about her at all.
I feel it is absurd to ask those exact words every time she comes home ( I have even tried to before in which case the previously mentioned situation has occurred anyways).
I feel that this happens quite frequently, and that it may be a sign of covert emotional manipulation. Always after these conversations she insists that I apologize for being rude to her, and for the inevitable argument that follows.
I am pretty much at a loss as to how to interpret this as I have little relationship experience
The most shocking part to me is how vehemently she denies that I made any kind of statement. I feel that this behavior is overly controlling and totally out of proportion.
I no longer apologize to her (because I have done nothing wrong, I hope?) and occasionally she will drop the issue with an agree to disagree mentality about it, and that is fine for me. But I feel the biggest difference is that I am ok with an agree to disagree mentality, but in the majority of cases she is not and will push her recollection of events.
What to do...? | I say hi to girlfriend when she gets home. She argues I don't say hi to her and tries to guilt trip me. |
t3_3wyxn9 | relationships | My SO [19 F] and I [19 M] are having some troubles. What do I do to show her that I'm really trying? [3 years] | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
Without going to far into detail; my girlfriend has requested some things of me. Things like: control your anger more, smoke weed less, do stuff for me more often, etc.
I feel like I am often trying hard to do better with these things, and in some areas I feel like I have shown improvement. When whether or not she thinks I am doing well or showing any improvement comes up it seems like she thinks I am never doing enough. It kills me to be trying so hard and trying to keep track of all of these requests, and at the same time learning a complex new job, dealing with emotional problems, etc, and then be told that I'm not doing it well enough.
What can I do differently to show her that I am trying really hard? And how can I keep my sanity and still make her happy? | My girlfriend is requesting things of me, I'm trying really hard. She thinks I'm not. What do I do to show her I'm trying really hard? |
t3_4wg04i | relationships | Me [19F] with my mum [54F] who said yes to letting me travel to America before she found out my girlfriend [21F] may be coming along. Now she's saying absolutely not. | I came out to my mum a few months ago and it was terrible. She bawled her eyes out and said all the typical things a conservative Christian says.
I've been strong in making sure she knows I'm still going to spend time with my girlfriend despite what she thinks of it, and she reluctantly lets me go visit her but doesn't let me stay late.
I told my mum today that I wanted to travel to America with a few friends and she eventually said yes. Then she asked me if E (my gf) was going and I told her she might be. After that she adamantly said no and I can't convince her otherwise.
I'll be devastated if I can't go, we've been planning this for a while. I considered lying to my mum and telling her E can no longer go, but I figure she will find out somehow through pictures, or me slipping up while telling a story or something.
I don't know how else to get out of this pickle. My family isn't the type of family that you can just say 'I'm paying for it I'll do what I want'. My cray cray parents are super conservative.
I need to find a way around this within the next 48 hours because we need to boo flights before our deal runs out. | my Ma is a cray cray homophobe and won't let me travel with my gf. I need to find a way around this quick fizzles with the help of you lovely peeps |
t3_37x58a | relationships | I [19M] made out with my [19F] crush (also very close friend) but she wont commit either way, leaving me in waiting | I have known this girl for a few months now and we had a lot in common so we became really close friends very quickly with quite a bit of flirting over text.
We have had drunken cuddles in the past, but on Thursday after telling each other that we both had feelings for each other we made out and slept in the same bed (no sex, but hands etc).
She then says that she can't commit to anything, not even going on a date because she's "still messed up over an ex 2 year relationship" that finished about 4 months ago.
I really like this girl as a friend and sexually as well, so as much as I want to make the sexual relationship happen I don't want to ruin the friendship if it doesn't work out.
I don't know what to do and I feel that she's got all the power right now. | I have a crush on my friend who reciprocates feelings but won't commit to anything and I feel that I'm just waiting for her to make a decision. |
t3_21rap1 | relationships | I (F19) am pretty much being blackmailed into sex. | So back story: I am 18 and the guy is 19 and we go to the same college (that is a VERY expensive college). My wonderful father pays my tuition and living expenses and asks for nothing in return except for a few things: that I not do illegal drugs (he's even okay with alcohol as long as I do it safely and just with my female roommates), that I study and work hard, and that I not have sex until I'm in a long-term committed/loving/respectful relationship (and if I eventually do, to use protection and be smart). These few rules are ridiculously important to him.
I have pretty much screwed up on the last one. I met a guy here and things ended up escalating very quickly. I did a lot of things with him including some things that are on video (that are especially incriminating without context - I feel bad about this part most of all).
I also stupidly told him how bad it would be if my father found out about those things and now the guy is using it against me. It started out jokingly but it's now clear to me he would make sure my father found out these things if I stopped having sex with him.
I don't know what to do. I feel so stupid and completely to blame for all this, but I only chose this school thinking I would be able to go to it without accruing a massive amount of debt (which is in my name - my father has only agreed to pay based on me following his few rules and I am now a sophomore and all the debt is in my name).
He asks for so little and I screwed up big time and am now screwing up even more to cover it up. A part of me feels like I deserve all this and I feel terrible for worrying so much about the money and not simply disappointing my father but the fact is the debt is so staggeringly large I can't think about anything else. | my father is paying for my schooling based on me following a few rules, I broke the worst one and am now being pretty much blackmailed for it. |
t3_3iv9ze | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [17 F] nearly two years, possible cheating/secrets being kept. | I've been dating M for almost two years, two amazing years. Throughout the two years, she has always kept her phone hidden from me. Whereas mine is free to touch and whatever without a problem. She always used the excuse of "I don't need to have it out, I'm with you." Which I thought was very sweet and bought into it. Until I started noticing stuff..
*She always deletes Facebook messenger when she's around me. I've noticed this by using messenger and it says "M is on Messenger" or whatever, and when we hangout it no longer says that.
* Never allowed to touch the phone. I can't think of a single time in our relationship that I was able to use her phone for calling parents, friends, etc. It was always mine.
This past week, we started fighting a lot. She told me she was talking to other guys already. I thought this was a lie, just to do something to make me angry. Because she would never prove it, I just asked for screenshots as proof because she had said this to me before. (We have had some pretty nasty fights but always came back, just stupid verbal things).
To make it short, I broke down and needed proof. I logged into her Apple ID (thanks for the easy recovery questions, please don't hate on me for doing this. I know it was wrong, but I have never done something like this to her, and I needed answers she wasn't willing to provide.)
I didn't get to snoop through iMessages or anything, but I did look at her app download history..
* Tinder
* textnow (lots of different SMS apps)
* Viber
* MeetMe
* kik
* Snapchat (she told me she forgot the password of the account I has added her on, so I guess she made a new one)
* Meetville: dating #1, Chat, flirt, date (really liked this one).
* reveal, ask me anything
This had all been downloaded within the past 2 months, because she made the new Apple ID when she got a new phone. | GF hides and deletes various dating, IM, and SMS apps every time we hangout, also keeps phone hidden. What do at this point? |
t3_4fq7px | relationships | I (29f) Met a guy (29m) on the street, we have been talking ever since, and I'm scared he's losing interest. | We met on the street in NYC. It was like a fairytale meeting, except we met for 5 minutes and I live across the country. We have texted nonstop for the first month about everything, had phone sex, made phone dates, which eventually turned into less and less. We still talk, but it's not as consistent or daily. I'm ok with that, but the "feeling" on his side doesn't seem to be there. It has now been 2 months total.
I booked a flight to see him, but staying with other friends, and all he said was that "if he's around, we will hang out". I know he's really busy but I guess I built up this chance meeting in my head and feel let down.
He sent me a really sweet bday message and ever since then he's been responsive, but not too engaging. Other then that, I feel like I'm always starting a convo these days. Should I just forget him and cancel flight? I was so excited To see him. Can I tell him I miss talking to him? What is the worst that would happen?
My hopes get so high. I was really hoping this would be more. I seem to rarely meet guys I have an interest in. So this made me very giddy. | I met guy on street, we talked nonstop, built a bond, and now he is less engaged. Going to visit in May, I want more, but it feels like I should back away. advice? |
t3_4oo259 | tifu | TIFU by spilling my vomit filled coffee cup in the lobby at work. | Last night whilst driving, I needed to vomit, and how! (bad turkey sandwich) I'm driving on a windy road so I grab my mornings coffee cup (That's still half filled) and casually barf into it while driving. Rather ruin the old coffee than my car interior. Gross but, moving on. I forget it and leave the vomit beverage in the car over night. Next morning I'm off to work. Vomit drink smells like shit and I realize it's still in my car. When I get to work I figure I'll just throw it in our trash in the back, nobody will notice. On my way to the can, I trip over my fucking feet and have this cup soaring. Vomit coffee is exposed. On my pants and floor. Smells like hell. Customers witness. A smell they will never forget. To weird to explain plus nobody there believed me anyhow. Smelled like a toilet all day and boss thinks I'm a dumbass. (Fair enough) | Walked into work with coffee cup actually full of vomit, spill it in lobby. People now think I drink my barf. |
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