id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_1g2dfz | Pets | After 5 years, I finally found Cocoa | : | Lost my dog 5 years ago, and within four days of putting up an ad to see if shes still alive, i found her! |
t3_3pgia8 | tifu | TIFU by being a failed magician. | Cliche this didn't happen today, but rather in 4th grade.
In 4th grade, I had a magic phase. I bought magic books, magic sets, magic movies, whatever. I was so bought on magicians and magic. I also wanted to be a magician, and learn all of the cool tricks. 4th grade me thought a great way to boost my career was to have a magic show in front of my entire class.
I asked my teacher if I could perform a magic show, and she said not today, but sometime next week. Cool. I was so ready. I didn't even practice, I thought I had this down.
My plan was to perform 2 tricks. My first trick will be I will tear up a napkin into pieces and magically make it the pieces come together in. My second trick was I would make a styrofoam cup magically levitate. You know, where you make a hole and put your thumb in it and make it look like it was levitating.
The day came. I had maybe 15 minutes to do this, because school was almost out. I prepared my materials, the teacher gathered the students around in a group, and I started. Expect I choked. BAD. I was shaking miserably as I showed the audience my napkin. I already had the second napkin hidden in my palm. I started to make a huge mess with the napkin and a kid pointed out "You can see the other napkin" for the whole class to see. My trick was ruined. Everyone knew. I managed to finish the failed "trick". So imagine a 10 year old kid, shaking, in front of the entire class, doing a failed magic trick. I was torn. I couldn't do the next trick. I said that was it and the teacher forced the kids to do faked claps. I cried when I got home. | 4th grade me thought I was a good magician, failed miserably doing a magic show in front of the class, and cried miserably at home. |
t3_4pqtux | askwomenadvice | How do I (28m) course correct when it seems like I'm hitting on co-workers and new women I meet when I don't intend to? | Preface: I am examining my behaviors first and working on intonation, body language, and so on, but preventative measures are not what I'm asking about.
I also have Aspergers and while I am very high functioning I do have significant trouble calibrating myself that cannot be fixed solely by being aware of said behaviors. If they were I wouldn't be here.
-----------------
So I'm an adult and I get along in the world OK but I have a mild problem with women. As I've said I have Aspergers and social calibration can be tough. I'm OK at dealing with women but often I find myself suck where a woman mistakes my friendliness for flirting, and bad flirting at that--accidental double entendres, poor body language, overeager attempts to make friends, that sort of thing. And of course if I find them very physically attractive there is the usual guy clumsiness, but that I can just live with since even if I subsume the language there's some subtlety that betrays me anyway.
I often try to let my actions speak louder than words but some women don't seem convinced by anything and my bad behaviors are never completely gone. I don't expect to fix the issue with everyone but I think I can do better and part of that process would be counsel with women I respect.
What would you personally like to see a guy acquaintance, who seems to be hitting on you, do to correct himself without being overtly blunt and graceless? | what would you personally like to see a guy acquaintance, who seems to be hitting on you, do to correct himself without being overtly blunt or tactless? |
t3_3h9cb4 | relationships | I [17M] want to ask a friend [17F] out but the situation is fairly odd | So context to everything: I am a [17M], senior in high school, and am really interested in one of my best friends [17F]. (We will call her Max for this) We've known each other for the past year or two now and since day one have clicked, we have been fast friends since. Since then we have been to prom and hang out every day at school during lunch and whenever we see each other we usually hug. Other than that we have similar interests, are really close friends, and have many of the same classes.
So the odd part about recent events is that a few people have come up and either said we were dating, just in the conversation (saying she was my girlfriend), and some have asked if we were. To clarify we are not. In regards to this though, she is a bit mad that people keep assuming so and that they are sticking their nose into others personal business, where they don't belong.
An even more odd thing is that one of these people knows that we were not dating, so them seriously mentioning it makes it seem odd. Like as if they are pressuring it to happen(maybe?).
As I said though, I want to ask her out on a date. See how it goes and progress from there. So my questions are, is this a bad time to ask her out and is her being upset about people making these assumptions a bad thing, she acts if she just doesn't like people prying into her personal life?
Quick note, since this happened a minute ago. She asked if I was going to our school dance, which we have mentioned multiple times, so she knows I'm going and I know she is. So is that a good thing, is she trying to get me to ask her to the dance?
Thanks for any help guys, it's really appreciated. | I want to ask a girl out but recently people keep assuming we are dating, though we aren't, and I'm not sure if it's the ideal time to ask her out because of this. |
t3_nqar8 | AskReddit | What's your best "Christmas Spirit" story? (I'll start, and don't be a Bill Murray Scrooge and downvote because I said Christmas.) | It's that lovely time of the year again where some of us feel the urge to help others, buy gifts for those in need, help out where help can be outed. I'd love to hear what redditors have done for those around them during this holiday season. Here is my story-
I was checking out at a local Fiesta here in Austin, TX. The lines were PACKED, everyone was huffing and puffing around, checking their watches, worried about where they were going to next. I decided I wasn't in any hurry. I hatched a plan. I decided to find the cashier who looked like they could use a little extra cheer. I found the line for a young girl who looked pretty fed up and tired, waited patiently in line, and when I bought my $5 purchase I paid with a $20. When she went to hand me my change I told her, "Keep it, Merry Christmas!". I got the most bewildered look, then a look like she wanted to cry, so I simply turned and walked away after saying "Merry Christmas!" again. As I get about halfway to my car the manager ran after me yelling "Sir, SIR, you forgot your change." I explained that the change was meant for the cashier to keep. And I wanted her to wish her a Merry Christmas again. I know it isn't much but it's what I had. (In retrospect, I will go to the manager myself next time after doing something like this so there isn't any harm done to the cashier.) | Felt the Christmas Spirit deep in my loins, gave tired looking young cashier at Fiesta $15 (my change). |
t3_1p7rou | relationships | Me 45 M with my 42 GF in 4 month relationship, I told her she was too self-centered, doesn't show much interest in my life. Oops. | So I'm a divoroced (several years) male who has started seeing a largely awesome woman. She's an artist and teacher. We have compatible sense of humor and good sex. My problem: I feel like she dominates every conversation and shows limited interest in engaging me. I made the mistake of telling her how I felt and learned subsequently from female friends that no woman will ever take being told she talks too much (not exactly what I said) well. She doesn't seem to accept the basis and I'm wondering whether there's a possible future. Other than this sense of being dominated (and sadly, I'm not a submissive person) things are great. Thoughts? | Told GF she dominates our interaction; she thinks it's weird I'm counting words and says she's never been told this before. |
t3_42d5v9 | relationships | I [18f] am considering becoming a cam model. How to talk to my [24m] boyfriend about it. | I am 18 years old, and almost 9 months pregnant with my boyfriend and I's first baby. Our home life situation is an abusive mess, and we're in a financial rut at the moment.
My boyfriend has some overdue tickets to pay off. On top of that, I've been feeling the pressure of being broke ever since I can remember. Going to a wic office as a kid until we couldn't get it anymore, my mother getting loads of food stamps and financial assistance and spending it on junk. Up til this day, my boyfriend and I lend her money. We don't get that back and she just drinks herself to sleep every night.
Anyway, we have enough money to take care of the tickets, and MAYBE a little left over. We are moving in with my step sister and her boyfriend, for about $250 per month. We can pay our portion of the rent and afford diapers and such with the money I'll be making shortly after we move into the apartment. But we will be JUST making it.
I've used cam sites since I was a wanna be emo pre teen. I never got nude or anything like that, but I am aware of how these things work. I know it isn't something you can just make money off of by sitting there. I know it is real work. I also know that I will be recorded, and that if I plan on doing anything bigger in my future, a real career, this COULD effect my shot at that career. Fortunately, I am genuinely interested in this. My boyfriend and I have talked about making videos together, before I got pregnant.
I'm wondering how to bring this up to him. I'm almost positive he won't be weird about it or think anything less of me. I just always have trouble with going about it.
"Hey babe, I'm thinking about being a cam model once I recover from this baby."
Just looking for some input and opinions. I will be doing this, and I'm not ashamed, simply not sure how to bring it up to my love. Lol and interested in hearing what people have to say, possibly current or former cam girls opinions also. | 9 months pregnant and going to become a webcam model, how to talk to my boyfriend about it? We're both pretty sexual and internet savvy beings. |
t3_4f30cr | relationships | Ex [24F] and I [26m] broke up after 8 months a little less than a month ago and went no contact. She texted me last night that she misses me and wants to be friends. I am not interested in that. Advice? | We broke up less than a month ago. She wanted it, but by the end it was mutual. No contact.. deleted her on FB, had a friend exchange our stuff, whole nine yards. Condensed version went something like this:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Ex: How are you?
Me: Good, what's up?
Ex: I miss you. Are you still mad at me?
Me: Don't know what to say
Ex: Great. So that's that, then.
Me: What? You broke up with me..
Ex: Not everyone gets married. We can be friends.
Me: I'm not ready to be friends and I may not ever be.
Ex: Never mind, it doesn't matter. Whatever. It just sucks. You were my best friend and I lost you and everyone because I only hung out with you and your friends.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
So, now I'm getting sass because she broke up with me? I'm trying to get over her over here and she's fishing for friendship? I sympathize that she's lonely.. we used to go to each other first when we needed someone to talk to.. but I can't do that now. I have zero interest in a platonic relationship with her.
The kicker? Just saw her on Tinder for the first time last night. No telling if it was before or after our conversation, but I'm inclined to guess that she saw me on Tinder and thought "oh, well he must be over it"?
I don't know, guys. Obviously I should just leave it here and continue no contact.. but she seems to be struggling with this, too. Advice? | Ex broke up with me a month ago and now wants to be friends. I'm not over her and have no intentions of being "just friends". I'm stuck somewhere between hating and pining. Advice? |
t3_hn2i8 | AskReddit | Need advice for getting rid of Brother-In-Law's junk | Two years ago my brother-in-law was kicked out of his mother's house (was stealing from her). In the last two years he has occasionally moved some things, but most of his junk is still here. He also left a car here a year ago and has not picked that back up either.
My mother-in-law is moving away. We need his stuff moved out. We have given him a week to move it. He has said No, and will move it two months from now.
This is unacceptable. We proposed him moving it to a storage unit (which we'd pay for the next 2 months) until he has room for it. He hasn't responded yet, but I am guessing he will say no.
What can I do with his stuff and car? He hasn't lived here in 2 years, has never paid rent or had a lease. I know that tenant rights/etc. are tricky. Any advice for me? | Asshole bro-in-law left his shit in our house after he was kicked out. Refuses to move it in a timely fashion. Advice? |
t3_1r4i8t | relationships | I [18 M] have this massive crush on my friend [17 F], don't know what to do :/ | I started falling for her back in high school and now that I'm in college I thought maybe it was a good time to tell her how i felt about her. A little back story, one of her friends found out about my feelings for her back when I was in high school. Her friend told me that she wasn't really looking for a relationship and would rather focus on school. So I decided to be complete honest with her, at first she wouldn't give me an answer,I.E dating. But after a few days she texted me "honestly, i'm not looking for a boyfriend, im scared that it might affect my academics." I was disappointed but then she texted me " but i'll tell you when i'll be ready" i replied "is there still a chance we can be something more than friends" she said "yea" Should I wait? or should I move on?
Oh I forgot to mention the next part of the text. I then directly asked her "if she was leading me on"... I honestly don't know why I asked that Question. But she said she wasn't. .. since this incident we've been talking a lot | I think she has feelings for me but i'm not too sure :/ should i wait until shes ready to date or should i just move on with my life? I absolutely adore this girl :) |
t3_476n3p | relationships | Me [28F] with my boyfriend [31M] of a year. He used to be chill and confident but has recently become jealous and angsty. I don't like it but don't know how to approach fixing it. | Obligatory "throwaway because he's a Redditor." My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about a year now. We are long distance and mutually decided to have an open relationship until we were able to bridge the gap in geography.
Historically, we've both been confident/independent types. This is one of the many things that drew me to him initially. Objectively, we are both above average physically and get quite a bit of attention from the opposite sex. Do I like it when other women hit on him? Hell no, but it's expected when you're with someone so attractive.
We used to always tell each other about our cringy encounters with the opposite sex. We'd laugh it off, and it wasn't a big deal.
Lately though, he has become increasingly jealous and actually told me at one point that he wishes I wasn't so attractive. I used to send him sexy pics, which he seemed to love....but now, he rarely even acknowledges them at all, so I stopped taking them. It's too humiliating to send a picture of yourself and receive no feedback whatsoever. We've posted some gonewild pictures together a few times, but now he gets into an angsty mood if I even post something vanilla bc he says a bunch of men will end up messaging me (maybe true for nsfw posts, but who the hell wants to be bombarded with random dick pics anyway? and certainly not the case for vanilla posts...those are lucky to get a few upvotes.)
I'm just really perplexed by how the dynamic changed, and I don't know how I can fix it. It's hard to just be me when I'm constantly worried about doing or saying something that will put him in a bad headspace.
What do? | Boyfriend used to be super confident but has recently become jealous and angsty. It's exhausting. How can I fix this? |
t3_2e3vqj | relationships | Me [27 M] with my crush [20 something? F] not sure if I should ask her out | I have a bit of crush on this beautiful co-worker. There's a lot of people at my work so I haven't really had much direct interaction with her. All I know is that we can't help but stare (gaze?) at each other when we walk by. There is no doubt about the mutual attraction. However, I feel very guilty everytime this happens because I know it could never work out between us.
I'm from a very traditional indian family and I cannot have a long term relationship with anyone from another heritage (she is white) without having to cut-off ties with my family. (I'm not looking for the following type of advice: stand-up for yourself, if your family cuts you off let them, etc.)
So, my question is: Should I even entertain this crush further? It would be a huge assumption to think we are compatible personality-wise so should get to know her and see where it takes us? Would asking her out be morally correct? | Indian guy can't have relationship outside of race without cutting off family. Should I even date a non-indian? |
t3_3gocie | relationships | My [29 M] husband [29 M] thinks he has ADHD, but won't seek treatment | My husband's a great guy, but he's always had a lot of trouble remembering things, from plans he's made with people to work events and more. He often zones out during conversations and doesn't remember ones he had just a few minutes ago (and not just with me, this is kind of a thing he's known for).
This leads to a lot of things becoming more stressful than they need to. It also makes it very difficult to rely on him to do things, like going to the store or reaching out to our friends. So I kind of handle most of the housework (including finances) while he does the cooking (which he's great at).
It's not that he can't function, but it sucks that I can't rely on him. He's tried to keeping a calendar on his phone etc. and while it's a little better, it's not changing most things. Even pretty small things have been becoming larger freakouts for him, like if he forgets to schedule a haircut or that he scheduled one, he'll lose it entirely. Or get very crestfallen if anyone points out that he's forgotten they made plans to get together.
He's off for the summer and said he would talk to a doctor about seeing if he has ADHD, since he's said he thinks that's what been going on his whole life. But now his break's over and it didn't happen. He doesn't like doctors in general and tends to treat medicine as a personal failure. Part of it was that he had some other health issues, so I didn't want to constantly bring it up on top of that.
I've tried talking with friends who are on ADHD meds that have helped them tremendously. I can't force him to do anything of course, but there are times where I'm starting to resent him and feel like I'm more of a parent than partner. | Any advice for how to bring this up getting help about ADHD? I don't want to nag him or make him feel like he's broken, but selfishly it's making life very stressful for me. |
t3_s12bw | AskReddit | I have two really old newspapers and I'd like to donate both. Does anybody know what institution might want these? | I recently bought a house and since the house was sold 'as is,' it came with a mountain of garbage. I've managed to paw through almost everything, and anything that is salvageable (mostly blankets) is getting donated to the woman's shelter in my area.
However, I found two newspapers that are really awesome, and if I had the time, knowledge, and money, I would most definitely preserve them and keep them for myself. One paper is a semi-local newspaper, the Rutland Herald (I live in Vermont) from May 1927. Not too interesting, has some cool car ads and a Harley ad.
The other paper is The New York Journal from August 1898 and it details the end of the Spanish-American War. I find this paper to be incredibly awesome because of its link to the war/yellow journalism/Hearst and Pulitzer fighting and what not.
My question is: Where can I donate these? I though it would be easy enough to figure out, but Middlebury College has no interest in having them in their collection, which is completely understandable, since there isn't enough room to house every document somebody thinks is cool, and documents just tend to fall apart. Might there be some place that would like these to preserve for their collection, or is this something that I should just photocopy for myself and give the original to the local high school? | Found old newspapers, one has local significance, the other is the New York Journal from the end of the Spanish-American War. Any Ideas what institution might want these for their archives? |
t3_4qnar6 | personalfinance | 18M About to get kicked out of my house. I have no money and i'm not sure where to go/ what to do. | I'm a recent high school grad in CO. Last week i got pulled over and a cop found a bit of weed so i got an MIP (Minor in Possession). My mom found out and told me i move out the day of my court case which is on July 25. I'm attending the local community college in the fall aswell. I have a job i just started yesterday because my old job fired me for missing work because of my MIP, but this job doesn't pay enough to let me pay for my first/ last months rent by the time that comes. I'll need about $1100 and i will only make 600 max So how do i help myself in this situation? | Shitty situation means i'm moving out in less than a month with no money, a misdemeanor charge, at 18. |
t3_kk823 | relationship_advice | A second chance | Back in January I had a few dates with the kind of guy I really like...nerdy (into sci fi), sweet, really smart, and a little socially awkward. The only problem was that he's a complete virgin and I'm very experienced and love love love sex...and even bdsm.
I was afraid that we just wouldn't work. I'd have to teach him everything and then he might not even have a high enough sex drive. Especially since this seemed to be the problem in my last relationships.
Anyways, I get an email on facebook from him the other night asking to meet up as friends. We decide to go for coffee. Last night all I could think about was telling him I wanted to give us another chance.
To my surprise, he's shaking a little and asks me directly if he could have another chance with me. He told me how beautiful he thought I was and he didn't want to let me get away.
I am feeling so blown away with this. He really has courage. I said yes. Then we spent the night cuddling and watching robot chicken.
I'm still nervous about it all, but I figure he deserves the chance (and so do I). *At this point, I'm wondering if there are couples out there that went through something similar... | Broke it off with a guy without giving him a chance because he's a virgin. He asked me to give it another shot tonight and I said yes. |
t3_4mlb7f | tifu | TIFU By trying to bake... | So my SO was away at work, and I've been craving cookies. Well we had one of those easy bake Hershey cookie sets. Takes flour mix, egg, water, and oil. Put on pan and bake for 12 minutes. Easy right? Well our oven is the fun type of oven where if you set it on 350 degrees F it actually 400 degrees F. So I am sitting there watching the cookies and notice a slight burning smell. I pull open the door, because there is only 3 minutes left. Reach down to check them and the door swings up burning my forearm. I drop the pan of cookies I am checking. One of the cookies flies up in the air, and lands on the groun. As I recoil in pain I step in a molting hot cookie. So, burnt arm, burnt foot, and a pile of messed up cookies. But hey! ... I still have one big cookie. | Burnt my arm while checking my messed up oven, flipped the pan of cookies into the air and stepped in a hot cookie. |
t3_3pg8vo | loseit | My mother gained 5lbs (2.25kg) in a week. Can I get some guidance for her? | So I have been on /r/loseit now for the past two months and using the loseit app for the past 6 weeks. I got my mother on it about 2 and a half weeks ago. (Just moved back in with my parents due to being a single father working nights) she saw me tracking calories and questioned what I was doing. I showed her the app and she and I make it a point to encourage each other to make better decisions about food choices. Anyway, sorry for the long windedness, she tracked the first week and lost a pound the first week, great! Then this week when we weighed in she gained that pound back and added 4 more. Could this be water weight that did this? She has been under her 2000kcal goal every day. I can only assume she is retaining water or weighed in initially after having an extremely empty system. | mother joined in on weight loss and lost then gained rather quickly back plus 4. Thinks I am, jokingly, to blame for sudden weight gain. |
t3_1fonhd | relationships | Brother [23] is getting out of the military next year, wants me to help him get settled on his feet. | My brother [23] wants to move to Colorado after he gets out of the Navy (next year). He wants me [M,24] to move with him and for us to split a double bedroom apartment/house while we get used to the area, find a college to go to, get settled in, etc, although, I can tell that when we talk about it, he's kind of asking for my help too. I know after a lot of people get out of the military, they are kind of just left there like they were before they joined, and putting "I was in the military" for the past four years on your resume isn't exactly a sure-fire way to get into a job. However, he is looking into how much school/housing/unemployment benefits the Navy will give him after he leaves right no.
That being said, I need to make a decision on whether or not I want to start applying for jobs and looking for a place to live in Colorado. I'm definitely sick of the state I live in, but I'm single and could easily change my careerbuilder preference to "anywhere in the US" rather than just the certain cities we want to move to in Colorado. Is this a good idea, planning to move up there in the next year, then have him come live with me / near me until he gets settled in? I'm finally independent and on my own with the job I have now (a horrible warehouse job), but I like being independent and having my own place, and I'm worried about the consequences that could happen if he moves in with me and can't find a job, does bad in school, etc.
I love my brother more than anything, and do want to live near him, or at least in the same state as him, for the rest of my life. We are both in our early twenties, and figuring out where we want to spend the rest of our lives, and what we want to do, etc, but I do know I want to live near my brother as we get older. However, right now, I need a better job than the one I have now, and applying for "anywhere in the US" might get me a job that I prefer much faster. | Brother wants me to help him get settled on his feet after he gets out of the Navy next year, wondering if that's a good idea. |
t3_4a0gs3 | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [26M] 8 years, feel stuck not sure how to move forward | I have been with my boyfriend since I was 18 years old. We do not live together but it has worked this way for a long time. I do spend 3-4 nights a week at his. In the last 7-8months we have argued alot, had difference of opinions in things, the communication between us has broken down and he takes his emotions and anger out on me.
Last week a group of us went on holiday and my friend Adam has been known in the past to take drugs but I asked him on a number of occasions not to bring anything away with him, he promised me he wouldnt but in actual fact he did. My boyfriend found out and got angry and upset, he didnt want to tell me at the time because of being away and ended up taken his anger out on me, screaming and shouting abusive language at me, making me feel really low and upset. He kicked the door in anger and hurt is foot. His mood was like this for the last day of the holiday and he thought by apologising with a long message and telling me how much he loves me will make everything ok.
I saw him 5 days after returning from holiday to talk things through but my feeling were very different to his. He had bought me a huge bouquet of flowers as a 'love you' present. They are very nice but in 8 years I have never had such a big gesture. Is this acceptable?
I feel stuck and unsure on what to do as he wants to take the next steps in our relationship but I have my doubts. In our time together he has done everything he has wanted to do including working in the USA for 8months and travelling Australia for 2 months 3 years later. I just carried on and waited for him. He is now ready for the next stage in our relationship including moving in together, marriage and children, whereas I am now in the mind set of living my life and doing more for me. How do we move forward? Is it possible? | Boyfriend and I have problems communicating, he thinks making big gestures is the way forward but I am unsure and want to live my life. |
t3_2jo7cb | tifu | TIFU The biggest I have ever F'd Up by deleting a text message that my girlfriend didnt read or know who it was from as she was sitting down.... | I completely f'd up by giving a coworker my number whilst intoxicated last night (as friends as stated by her as I was talking about who my good friends were at the party her roommate was like what about her shes your best friend i said she didnt even have my number and she said yeah i dont what is it. I thought nothing of it. Especially since she used to hook up with my good friend, which I wouldn't go near anything he has had if I was single! I honestly had no intention on even communicating with her. . she text me hers right then. It sat till the morning. Good and hungover as all hell I look at my msgs. since I did not intend on contacting her I deleted it. I believe my gf was getting into the bed as i did this. she saw and said nothing. It stewed for a while and then boom in a rush of fear and betrayal asked me why I deleted the msg. I replied in a panic. First thing popped into my head I said. O yeah I've also already had half a beer and smoked some ganja to help the headache sooooo I'm pretty much faded and dealing with a now very pissed off gf and not knowing what to do. I said some of the stupidest things ever today and I regret not handling this better. Today could end up being the worst day of my life. | I gave a coworker my number while drunk and deleted the text she sent to give me hers in front of my gf. worst day ever. may be single soon. FML. |
t3_3uxy95 | relationship_advice | [26/F] My boyfriend [M/24] of 2.5 years doesn't want to move | I live in the west and he lives in the East. We lived together for a little over a year and when our lease was up, he moved back home to his parents to finish college, and I decided to finish college and live with my parents for in state tuition and free rent.
The move was hard, but we have been doing long distance for the second year of our relationship. The original plan was to move back in with each other once we both finished school. I am one semester away from completing my degree and already have a job that is most likely to lead to a career in field that I want to end up in. He is unemployed and not going to school.
We have been talking about him moving here for most of the time apart and I'm beginning to feel like he is just making up excuses to not move in with me. I understand that moving across the country for someone is a huge thing to do and a big step in a relationship. He has told me he doesn't want to move because he'll miss his family, he doesn't like where I live, he won't have any friends, it'll be completely new for him, we might fight and break up . All of those are some what valid things, and I am trying to understand it from his point of view, but am having a hard time. I am not a fan of doing long distance, and don not want to be in one forever.
I am at a loss as to what I should do. Am I being unreasonable for asking him to move out here or is this something worth breaking up over? | Long distance boyfriend of 2.5 years doesn't want to move to where I live, not sure if I should wait for him to decide to move, or give ultimatum. |
t3_3llvq2 | relationships | 20M, S/O and I have a lot less free time. | Hello Relationships! I hope you're all having a great day.
I'll try and keep this as simple as possible. Been with my S/O for just short of 18 months. She is my world, since we got serious I have always saw us being together through life and I can't really imagine how I would live properly without her around.
We would usually spend a few days a week together, we don't live together but we would stay over at each others houses and it was all great. Recently she started working very long hours, 10-12 hours a day and 5 days a week. Obviously this is difficult, that's understandable. However, the problem I'm having is it leaves very little time for us to see eachother. I expected to have every weekend together however it's not that simple. She is very tired after work so I can't come to see her weekdays, and she is out of the house at around 6:30 am and it is inconvenient for me to be at her house all day without her. She said that she does want a social life with her work friends as she will be stuck with them for at least 2 years. We can't move in with eachother yet as we do not make enough to get by with rent and bills comfortably. Neither of us drive yet but she is close getting a license which will help.
What does this all mean? Well, she's going to be going out on work nights out every few weeks, which means I won't be able to see her, then she has assignments to do over other weekends which means I may not be able to spend the day with her. It could be as little as once a day every 2 weeks.
Like I said at the start, I don't want this to be over. I'm willing to make sacrifices if she is too. I just want to know if anyone has any advice on how I can make this easier for both of us? I really need help here and it is on my mind constantly and its emotionally hurting me. Any advice will help, positive or negative.
Sorry about the long post folks! | want to spend my life with my s/o, she started working long hours, have very little spare time to spend together. How to make it easier for us both? |
t3_2v56gu | relationships | My wife is working through some latent mom & dad things, I think | My wife (30/f) & I (33/m) have been married for 5 years, we've been together for 10. We have had a good relationship for the most part, and we have two beautiful kids to show for it. The last six months have been fairly difficult though. We've recently moved and went through some financial strain (nothing too out of the ordinary), but I've noticed a dramatic change.
It wasn't until recently that I realized she's starting to work out some of her issues she had growing up. She didn't have a bad childhood, but her parents weren't very loving. She is an only child and what they lacked in compassion and advice they made up for by buying her things. They didn't ever (and i mean EVER) offer moral support but have always been quick to criticize. For instance, when we went to them to announce that we were expecting our second child, her mom's reaction was to question how we think we're going to be able to take care of TWO children, rather than be excited. FWIW, we never gave anybody any reason to doubt us in our abilities to take care of our first.
Lately she's been projecting her father (and herself) onto me, which is excruciating because he & I are so opposite. He was always very controlling and vindictive, with a very strict justice system around the house. He caused her a great deal of anxiety throughout her life and so now I am, just by proxy.
I'm just looking for advice. I have a hard time relating because I had an incredibly stable and loving household as a child, and I don't want to be insensitive or show a lack of understanding. I do my best to give her space when I think it's needed and to listen, but I don't often know just what to say, or if I need to say anything. | My wife of 5 years (30 yrs old) is working through some issues with her mom & dad from when she was a child and I want to know how best to be there for her. |
t3_3xryr3 | relationships | [19F] How do you make any friends when you're out of school, work with 50 year olds and have no spare time? Please help. Suffering from Anxiety. | Hey Reddit, I hope this is the right place to be posting this as I'm not entirely sure... I'm in a bit of a dark place right now, not really feeling important to anyone. Feeling hopeless. I had honestly thought I was okay but who am I kidding? I have tears in my eyes just typing this. For a few weeks there it felt like my anxiety was gone. But things came up leading me to believe I was just on Cloud 9.
I'm not seeing a Psychologist until the 8th of January. I'm not on medication as I **don't** want to be. My anxiety is up and down. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and it seems I share his friends with him. Although they're a great group of people, they don't always treat me that great and due to my emotional issues I take it to heart. All of my ''*real*'' friends are gone, the friends I made in school, the friends I made at my old job at McDonald's. Everyone is gone. Everyone is caught up in their own lives, uni. their boyriends etc. Or they just have no interest in being my friend.
This has lead me to being independent of my boyfriend and Reddit I really need your help, it's absolutely killing me to be independent. I have no friends. I have nothing. Just a shitty low wage traineeship job working with 50 year olds. I feel so down today I just need someone to talk to. I have no one. When my boyfriend is with his friends and I'm at home alone we fight. Because I'm too dependent of him and I hate it when he doesn't reply. I'm a mess and I just need some help. I live in Australia if that helps. I need something to take my mind off things, **HOW** can I be more independent?! Please. | How can I be more independent? How can I make friends when I work with 50+ year olds and have little to no free time..? |
t3_4j8u3p | tifu | TIFU by getting poop on my coworker. | This happened earlier this week, but since it involves some bodily stuff, I had to save for the weekend (we're calling Friday evening the weekend).
My FU started on Tuesday night, when we did Taco Tuesday. It's our favorite night of the week and we all went out and got drinks and cheap tacos. It was primo. I woke up Wednesday morning with a grumbly tummy. It was one of those mornings where you just know you're going to have to drop deuce on your employers dime. Surely enough, after coffee my moment arrived and I was unleashing a flurry of taco/beer induced trophy poops. It was glorious, but my god it was it foul. Numerous courtesy flushes were offered because I'm a decent fucking person, regardless of what happened next.
When it came time to wrap things up, I didn't skimp on the TP because I knew it was a 5-wipe or more. You should also know that I'm not a leaner; I'm a squatter, both cheeks off the throne. Well, given the situation and the hastiness of my wiping, the TP I intended to discard in the bowl misfired and bounced off the toilet seat, and rolled clear under the stall divider into the adjacent, OCCUPIED stall.
I swear that time stood still for a moment as I watched my shit-stained wad roll poop-first onto an innocent man's polished shoes. The weight of his response was palpable. You could hear the disgust and disappointment, "are you fucking kidding me?"
Reddit, you don't know shame until you have had to reach under a bathroom stall to remove your own ass-wipe from a co-worker's shoe. I was blushing so hard when I emerged from that stall, both sets of cheeks I'm sure. I met my victim face to face with several words of apology and regret. The man was a coworker that I never interact with (thankfully). He suggested that he would tell HR about it, but I have not heard anything from them yet. I think for the time being my job is safe, but I may have a record on file that I'm a poop flinger. | Taco Tuesday gave me a big poop at work, wiped, missed toilet, threw tp at coworker. He's not happy, I'm not happy, oh well. |
t3_3nybi0 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my bestfriend [21F] of 6 years, she getting pregnant by accident, she asked me to make the decision. | We're the form of a pure platonic relationship. We talk about everything from crushes to family problems. Though we're not always in the same class (we take different major), but we helped each other if we need an assist on a project. She is my best friend for 6 years ffs.
Long story short, her parents are divorced and she cut the connection with all of her family member except her brother [18-19M] that still lives with her mother. She often come to watch netflix and chill (literally, no sex) and sleep in the sofa at my house. She have this circle of girl friends but only as far as being just..friends. They don't even share detailed personal story, so you can imagine she doesn't have a go-to friend other than me.
Problem arises yesterday. We're party animals. We don't really keep in touch with every single friend at school/uni but we often come to parties and such. She's wilder than me tho. Most of the time she'll be DTF and i lost her in the crowd.
Not really sure at which party, she came up ysterday with a positive pregnancy test. I don't really want to be a bad best friend, and she repeatedly asked me for input. The thing is, she isn't ready to have a child due to her situation *(not mature enough, still want to have fun, still in university, still works at a restaurant, don't wanna lose scholarship etc.)* but she isn't get in the sense of abortion. She said she doesn't want to be a murderer or some kind like that.
I don't really know what to tell her. | Best Friend got pregnant by random dudes in a random party. I want to help her but i dont know what to do. |
t3_1q41nz | AskReddit | What's your personal best "Instant Karma" story? | Thought about this today because I had one happen yesterday that I can not stop smiling about.
I will try to be brief.
Driving home from work in the left lane as traffic is starting to break up. I was maybe a car length behind the car in front of me when I notice a red Civic riding my ass. Granted I don't get too bothered by this and just keep driving. At this point I am going about 65 and passing the traffic in the center lane when said red Civic flies by me ON THE SHOULDER.
At this point I am furious and see the local high school sticker on her window and a short pony tail sticking up, so I try to stay sane for the moment and do my best to let it go. She then speeds up and swerves through traffic and cuts off 3 lanes to exit and barely makes the exit and is on the access road.
I forget about it quickly and pull off at the next exit and come to a stop light. Guess who pulls up right behind me?
At this point my road rage is back and I decide that I am going to have a little fun with this kid. Light turns green, I roll up...and stop...and wait...light turns yellow...and right as it is about to turn red...
Out flips the bird and I speed off to my destination as I hear a horn blaring and teenage screaming from the background. It's the little things in life, and this was one of those things. | Got passed by a teenage girl on the shoulder, stopped at a light until it turned red and left her behind flipping her the bird. |
t3_2m6tlk | tifu | TIFU by giggling at the most inopportune time. | This past weekend I had the most embarrassing moment of life. I am a young man who has not had all the luck with the ladies, but that changed Friday. I had not had any sexual contact in almost a year, and it had taken its toll on me, I completely reverted to a moron around women. So on Friday I am hanging out with a couple friends having a good time. Me and one of the girls leaves to go get food. On the way back we pull alittle up the street and park. She then turned off all the lights in and on the car. At this point I was giddy because I knew what was going to happen. I look at her an she leans in and we start making out. Now being the awkward individual that I am I am nervous about everything I do. I ask her if I can use tongue. Then I ask her if I'm being too forward. Eventually I ask her if I can move my hands around and get into it. She gladly accepts and encourages me to. Now this is were is goes to shit even more. I am a virgin and before this had never felt a a woman's breast so I take this as my chance to finally feel some bosom. As I move my hand up I feel it deep inside me. I pull away and start giggling like a mad man. She stares at me with a wtf look. Then the only thing I can think to do is give her a high five and continue on giggling for another five minutes. After that I had completely killed the mood. We get out of her car and go back inside. She now thinks of me as a immature ass even though I couldn't help it. | TIFU by giggling my ass off by touching my first boob and now I am a immature ass to her. |
t3_2k9ajr | relationships | gf[17/F] said something a little strange to me [17/M] | so we were doing the couple thing, watching movies and tv eps while snuggling under the covers, and it eventually led to a little fingering under the blankets; I thought it was moderately tame, as I was a little more focused on the south park episode I was enjoying (I know, seems neglectful, but it was really funny) when she suddenly cried out, and not in pain. I was quite surprised. She's a tiny little Asian girl and being black i do have large fingers, but this kind of response wasn't something I was used to hearing so rapidly. After she finished (whatever she was moaning about), she laid her head on my shoulder and whispered in my ear: "I love you for the things you to do me."
This kind of struck me, and still genuinely confused me. We've been together for 2 years now, and this really strays far from her usual personality. Is she using me just for sex? I've been in those kind of relationships before, and It's not what i'm looking for now. I could be blowing this out of proportion, but I still would like to ask those here who have more insight into the female psyche.
What does this statement mean? | girlfriend of 2 years said: "I love you for the things you do to me", i'm a little freaked out; don't like the idea of that being the core of our relationship |
t3_gz0fd | relationships | My s/o always acts like a dick when one of his guy friends is around.. advice? | Bear with me as my other half spends a lot of time on Reddit so I have to be a little ambiguous with some of the details..
Okay so I'm in a long term relationship with my man, we are both in our thirties and 98.999 % of the time he treats me unbelievably well, I have no complaints. Not saying we don't have tiffs or anything, but for the most part we work things out okay. But he has this friend (friend is a dude) and every time this friend is around, which isn't very often, he turns into a complete dick. Not in front of his friend though, he waits until we are around the corner or in another room. If I talk, he gives me this "why the hell are you opening your face" look and gives me some strained reply. He basically makes me feel like I'm an embarrassment in front of his buddy and when buddy is in a separate room, but same building, he will be a dick and either try to pick a fight, or hurt my feelings. And then he chills right out when buddy leaves and acts like nothing has happened leaving me feeling like a piece for however long it takes for me to get my head straight again. I was raised in an abusive home and I don't want to inadvertently end up in it all over again, but I know I have a tendency to over react, so a myriad of answers may be a good perspective builder. | Boyfriend turns into a closet asshole when his buddy is around and starts emotionally treating me like garbage and messing with my head. |
t3_cerys | AskReddit | I'm considering getting a vasectomy this summer, I'm 19. | I'm currently 19 and can honestly say that I personally will never want children. I don't dislike children in any manner, in fact I think other people's kids are great I just do not wish to waste ~18 years of my life on another human.
I've spoken this over with friends and the like, the only down sides they can present me with are (not including the obvious chances of infection due to the procedure) as follows -
1. I may change my mind in the future -
I can safely say that I will never want children, I've argued with friends about this and every time it boils down to people having kids due to boredom. Even if I do change my mind reversals have a high success rate, say the reversal fails IVF treatment is a possibility and on the NHS 3 chances are given. Say these all fail I will never be in the situation where I would be unable to pay the money necessary for IVF to take place.
2. The person I'm with may want children -
If this is the case they may likely not be the person I want to be with, even if they did and I was inclined to oblige *see No.1*.
__________________________________________________________
My reasons for this are simple, I never want to be in the situation where I've managed to get some girl pregnant with-out prior thought.
I find it odd that every person I've spoken to has called me a mad-man, even though they can offer me no valid reason as to why I shouldn't go through with it.
Reddit, I heed your advise mainly people that have gone through with it at a comparable age.
Thank you in advance. | I'm going to cut the mains to my baby batter so I don't send a bitch up the duff and need advice. |
t3_35zcjt | tifu | TIFU by fucking up a relationship | This actually just happened about an hour ago.
I had some weird number texting me saying she was a Jane doe, having a girlfriend for 6 months. I thought she was throwing a test at me and I went along with it,
It all started with "hi im Jane doe. I seen your number on Facebook and I wanna get to know you"
I kindly replied that I was in a happy relationship, now texting my girlfriend asking her why she'd do such a thing, we'll her reply was confusing, she said she didn't know what the fuck I was talking about.
Now go back two days, I had thrown this little prank at my gf pretending I didn't know who was texting me and what not, made her quite mad.... and her other friend, Jane bitch seen that .
She then snagged my number and texted me that I was an asshole and I should take care of her more properly, kindly told bitch to fuck off and mind her own business.
Now back to Jane doe , with that story tied in , I reversed searched the number which was the town where my gf was located (15 mins from home). So I knew something was up.
Made one of my buddies text that number making her believe he just miss texted someone, he invited her to McDonald's, but she said " I'm not who you're looking for but I'll go with you :)"
So he eventually got her to tell her real name. And I texted her with this information telling her I'll send this to your bf if you don't explain to me what happened.
Skip a little long story, she ended up telling him what happened because she thought she could explain it, and he left her. So now my gf is pissed at both her "friends" and I am hilariously happy of the outcome... But I still feel like a dick | fucked up Jane doe and Jane bitches master evil plan to fuck my relationship up, making one single and the other one looking like a true cunt. |
t3_2jlpng | relationships | Should I [28m] stay hopeful in break-up with ex[22f] | I'ld first like to state that I'm just looking for advice here.
I've read somewhere that time is my best medicine.
So I [28m] have been with my ex[22f] for about a 16 months before we broke up last April. We had a few arguments here & there but not too serious. At the time, I was doing my post-grad & made it clear that I had plans on looking for a job outside of the country
once I graduated. She was aware of this from the beginning of our r/ship.
I have never had a long-term r/ship in the past so she was special in that sense. When the day came in April, I moved out. We decided to stay friends, however I found myself visiting her and staying over a couple of times a week. We were still having sex
at this point. A couple of weeks later, I felt that this was not healthy, and so did she. So she sat me down & told me she couldn't take it anymore & that she doesn't want to see me anymore. She said that she can't deal with this hurt no more.
I've only begun processing the break-up in the last two weeks, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. All kind of thoughts are creeping into my head!! This is my first break-up so I feel as if the thoughts I'm having are a lot worse because it's my first loss. Also, I really don't like to see her hurt even now, so when she told me I hurt her, it confused me and hurt me more!
Is there a chance that we might get back together in the future, or should I just move on completely?? | I [28m]Broke-up with first GF[22f] and want to know if i should stay hopeful or move on completely!! |
t3_3qju7w | relationships | I [22M] just had a break up and moved out. I feel lonely and don't know what to do next. | I don't know if this is the right subreddit, but here goes. Ever since I was a kid, I had learned from my mother, sister, and female classmates that love and intimacy (emotional/intellectual/physical) with females is a scarcity. The last few years have been all about improving myself and working on my issues. I've had some great experiences with women and had a girlfriend for a couple of months. We broke up about two weeks ago and I'm having a hard time adjusting.
It doesn't help that I just moved out for the first time to a new city and don't know anyone here. I'm going to meetups to make sure I meet new people on a consistent basis, but I'm not enjoying it to the fullest. It seems I don't get much fulfillment out of interactions with people I don't have a stronger bond with.
Anyway, my ex helped me a lot with some of the issues I had with women. While we were together, she was basically the only person I was 100% myself with and I always felt supported. Like I don't have to do things alone again. Lately, I've been having strong urges to contact her again so I can feel some of the connection I really miss in my life right now. I don't think that's a healthy thing to do, but I also don't want to deprive myself of this need for intimacy and emotional connection. I lost my best female friend and it feels like I am alone again. I think my mistake was that I stopped making connections and taking care of myself and my growth while I was in a relationship.
I'm not one to sit around moping all day, so while I don't like it, I will admit that I am lonely right now. I feel like I still have a scarcity mentality on love and intimacy with women and that I need to change my reality in order to create an abundance mentality. I crave connections deeper than just going out with a couple friends, but I don't have any female friends that are close by and I think that meeting new people with the intent of creating (perhaps even forcing) something deeper will only drive them away. | Just got out of a relationship and moved to a new city. I feel lonely and need connection. I don't know how to go about finding that. |
t3_2ew9q9 | relationships | Me [32/F] feel that my relationship with [34/m] boyfriend is one sided and I'm more into him than he is into me... | Me [ 32/F] have been in a relationship with my [34/m] boyfriend for a year now and I've felt for awhile now that my boyfriend is not that into me and don't know how to talk to him...I have brought it up a few times but he just says that I'm reading way into it and talking ends up in a fight. He seems to have more emotional connections online than with me and is always mentioning how pretty other girls are and how smart but rarely to me unless I bring it up...
I can't seem to let him go or want to...We have been together for over a year and have had a rocky road from beginning...He was very sick with liver disease and almost died. Got transplant and feel like I'm indebted to him...but there doesn't really seem to be much intimacy or affection so I need people to talk to? | Me [32/F] feels that relationship with [34/M] boyfriend of one year is one sided and I'm more into him than he is into me... |
t3_21i2wk | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] 4 years, She has always said that she doesn't know what a penetration orgasm feels like. | Me and my girlfriend having been in a loving relationship with each other for 4 years have had a fair quantity of sex. Every now and then she says that she doesn't know if she's had an orgasm during sex although she's overall really enjoyed our eperiences.
She has had many oral orgasms and I know that both are different. Recently we've had a tense boring period in our relationship due to me becoming a bit down about a few life experiences I've had.
What could I do for her to have an orgasm during intercourse. Is it possible that not all women can or is there something I can try. Our best position would probably be doggy because she basically near enough passes out after that but we hardly try anything else and sometimes she gets scared if I spontaneously try something new.
I don't think she likes her clitorous being stimulated during intercourse although I've never really tried it and she never initiates that herself either. She is shy when it comes to sex (although she's loosened severely over the years).
She says that some positions that we've tried hurts because of my size but I would like to think I'm average and that because she is only 5'2' that she finds it larger?
I want the next time to be the best so any experience/tips are appreciated. | Want to pleasure my girlfriend in new ways and don't know how. we've been through a rough patch and it's beginning to spark again. Advice? |
t3_4n82kn | relationships | My [18 M] girlfriend [20 F] of 6 months found out how much I make in a month. Now she expects me to spoil her regularly. | Okay Reddit, lately, I've been making pretty solid money at my job, and business has been booming in the area I oversee. I work my ass off, (9-5 laboring in the scalding western sun). My girlfriend is unemployed, but hasn't looked for a job since before we were even dating. I've addressed that issue with her many times, but she always shoots me down and plays the victim.
Now, I do mobile banking with a relatively small bank in my city, all my expenses and gains are listed in the app, so it's all I use. The thing is, when you open the app, it requires you to enter your password before you can do anything.
Cut to last week. I had just got to my apartment on payday after work, she came over and we were talking about our days, when I decided to check my bank account. She must've been looking over my shoulder and saw my password before I got into the shower, opened my phone without me giving her permission, and looked at my expenses. When I got out of the shower, she was furious.
She went on a rant about how I never treat her or care for her (both exaggerations considering I take her out every week and buy her gifts regularly), and how I need to "clean up my act" if we are to stay together, because I "make too much to not treat her like a goddamn queen". She has never acted like this towards me, so I got very upset. We argued for a while, and after a few hours she stormed out of my apartment.
I'm on my last leg here. My mind is telling me to leave, but she's genuinely nice and caring, something I've never really had in a relationship before. Help me, Reddit. | GF saw how much I make in a month, yelled at me for not spoiling her, and stormed out. |
t3_yt4o5 | AskReddit | Auto insurance/car repair issues- what do I do? | I've been going through a pretty long struggle to get my car fixed after someone attempted to steal it- breaking the ignition. The car was parked on a public road and needed to be towed out, which I was assured would be covered and free... It took them a week to finally get around to towing it, and 2 weeks to let me know that I was now responsible for the towing charge. While the car was at the shop (who refused to start fixing it until I paid the towing charge I was actively disputing) the appraiser set the repair cost at $81 for the ignition (parts and labor), and $500+ for the cosmetic repair of my door... Being a beat up 1986 BMW, I just wanted it to move again, I'd handle the cosmetic if they made it move. Finally, I won my battle for the towing charge (4 weeks after they tow the car) and repair is set to begin which is awesome- an expensive towing and an ignition repair for $81! I was thrilled and insurance closed the claim...
I receive a call yesterday from the garage (approved and recommended by Liberty Mutual), letting me know that they've run into complications in repairing the car- and the new parts and labor would be an additional $360 + the $170 for parts and labor they already performed...
I'm a broke college student- I can afford an $81 repair that I know about, but a surprise $500+ bill? I can't do that, I need to pay rent.
I don't know much about auto insurance, but I'm inclined to think that an '86 beater that I bought for $1000 would be easily totalled by repair and towing costs that should have been appraised at over $1300.
Does anyone have similar experience, work for an insurance company, or know what I should do next? | Insurance and their approved mechanic spend a month to tow and hold my car, don't start working on it till yesterday, and surprise me with a charge for repair that is over 5x more than insurance quoted me. |
t3_ybex8 | relationships | I [M24] am having issues with two friends with benefits [both F22] and feel bad about it. | I met both about a month ago. Became quickly involved with the first one and we pretty much had a BF/GF relationship even though she was adamant that I was NOT her BF, just friend or a bit more than friend, but not BF. Last week she offered to be my GF but I talked her out of it saying we should give it more time. Girl #2 was kept at bay during this time by me making up excuses but I knew what she wanted.
Recently girl #1 has been away in another town, and I start to hang out with girl#2 as friends. We end up doing some pretty sexual stuff, but not the full deal because I got stage fright (possibly due to guilt). I felt like I was cheating, even though I don't guess I technically was.
I am not so sure I want to be the BF of either girl, but I don't want to hurt either of them. I don't want to be greedy and feel girl#1 is sweeter and I would never want to hurt her. I want to get rid of girl #2 (who is definitely waiting for round 2 with me) and focus on the first one.
Both of these girls live really close to me. How can I handle this with tact and decency? Should I tell girl#1 what I did while she was away? I doubt she'd be okay with it. | I can't nor do I want to juggle girls and get all the sex. I don't want to hurt either of my friends but I need to know how to end one sexual relationship and keep the other. |
t3_3cy4vi | running | Help! I got strep wednesday, I have been training for a PT test this tuesday for 6 months... what do I do?! | A little about me: 23/m, I need to get a 11:58 mile and a half time this tuesday. I have been running for the past 6 months, first on a t-mill then outside. A few weeks ago I started running outside and noticed a ~minute increase in my mile and a half, from 1030 to 1138. On top of that, I started getting shin splints so I bought new shoes with inserts that really seemed to do the trick.
Anyway... here's the thing. Wednesday I wake up with a funny feeling throat. It wasn't too bad and wed night I did an easy run b/c I felt bad (1150 mile and a half) then worked out. By thursday am I feel like shit. Go to work -> after to doctors and told I have strep and given amoxcillion.
By yesterday AM I was feeling better. By this morning I was feeling significantly better.
This afternoon I decided to see how I'd fair if the test was held today. I ran hard and tried to get the best time I could. I ended up with 12:04 mile and a half :((((
It's the first time running outdoors that I haven't gotten between 11:20 and 11:40 mile and a half (besides wednesday when I hit 1150).
Anyway. I have a test in exactly 70 hours from right now and I have no idea what to do and I'm starting to panic. I want to say mentally I will push myself to pass since it's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Side note: I notice that when I have 2 days off before running (say I run five days in a row and take 2 off) the day I come back I always had the fastest times.
Question: Do I run tomorrow? What should my workout be? Should I take the amoxicillion the morning before the test? (it can make you drowsy I read). | I'm going to cry if I just wasted 6 months running my ass off to fail because I got strep and miss the required time by 6 seconds. |
t3_4c788v | askwomenadvice | Flowers for a litteral ghosting friend [F/22] | Good evening,
I want to send flowers for a dear friend in another country, and maybe *suprise* visit him.
We haven't spoken face to face for a year (by cam).
This person is sick and will die, but refuses to let me see him.
He lives, he works, he does what he has to..
Maybe it's about priority and privacy but I'm confused and sad, I don't want to let him like this.
For years I've sent letters and stuff and such because I tough it would cheer him up.
Times ago I cracked up and asked to open because he was evasive and foggy, he did heartfully. Now, he said he reads my messages but it's for my own good and his if, he doesn't answer. I must respect this choice but at the same time.. I felt punished, depressed and empty.
I understand it's a difficult situation, I understand if you won't answer/can't help.
I simply want to create happy thoughts and memories for him.
I want him to feel special because, *he is*.
Thanks for your help. | Got a friend - felt wierd - he got away - sent a bunch of letters and gifts for years - things are weird - asked to open about what he felt - did and stopped to talk to me* |
t3_13j0m9 | BreakUps | Going home with ex for holidays? | My girlfriend broke up with me last week because we have a huge lack of communication. I had already paid for plane tickets for both of us and our daughter to go to her families house for a week over Thanksgiving. Her family really hates me as she has left me more than once in the six years we have been dating, and of course lines have been drawn over the years. I figured I would go along and be nice since it would make her happy and my daughter would love it. However, now that we aren't together currently I don't really want to have to go deal with her family and have all of this aired out in front of them all. My ex has asked me to go, and is giving me a huge guilt trip over not going but wont enter into any discussion over how it will work or why she would like me to still go. To top it off, going to her families for Thanksgiving means I will have to leave my mother alone for Thanksgiving, since my mother moved out here by herself to help us with out daughter. Im honestly at my wits end trying to talk through all the angles, but I feel like I shouldn't be going. What would you guys / gals do? | Ex wants me to leave my mom alone for the holidays and fly back to her house for the holidays to hang out with her family who hates me. |
t3_12h4eg | AskReddit | Reddit, whats your favorite story of your work, your friends work, or familys work? I'll start | My father is a certified paramedic, and one day, had to respnd to a lady who was about to give birth. Standard procedure, nothing new. Well, one of his co-workers brought his phone (dumbass alert).
Needless to say, they got the soon-to-be mother but she cant wait to get to the hospital, so they begin the birthing right there (again, standard procedure). Well, midway through, father's co-worker notices a phone in front of the lady, and makes the anouncement of the century: "Hey, her phone looks just, like, mine... uh-oh" Yes ladies and gentlement, it was his phone.
After getting her and her child (bouncing baby boy) to the hospital, the co-worker, while under ridicule of the other medics and some hospital staff, puts his phone in a bio-hazard bag, gives it to a nurse on duty and says "I'm going to need that disinfected, if you don't mind." He still uses the phone today, under much ridicule from his co-workers, and myself.
So reddit, what's your favorite story from any jobsite, whether it be your job, your friends, or your families job. | Father's co-worker dropped his phone in front of a women giving birth, but still uses the same phone today. |
t3_1xace4 | relationships | My [F/19] boyfriend [M/23] is still talking to a girl we were about to have a threesome with... | So this girl added my boyfriend on Snapchat and kept sending him pics of her cleavage. I didn't really care because I've had guys come onto me and she wasn't asking him out or anything, so I didn't think about it.
So for a while, my boyfriend would sneak pics of me naked to send to her- claiming that she was bi and he wanted to show me off. I told him to stop, because it was very annoying. He gets a snap of her in shower and she adds that she wants us to have a threesome. I said that I didn't want to be a part of it. I ever I had threesome, I'd never want it with a boyfriend.
A tad bit of back story! My boyfriend goes through my phone all the time and claims its because he felt that something was wrong and I wasn't telling him about something important.
Well, I broke one of my most important rules and went through his phone for ge first time. He doesn't text this girl, but he snap chats her a lot at work.
How do I ask him about this? There isn't proof that they're even doing anything, but I just want to know why they haven't stopped talking. He and I have been together for over a year and we live together. I do love him and he's a good person, but this weirds me out. | I looked at my boyfriend's snapchat and he hasn't stopped talking to a girl we almost slept with. How do I ask him why? |
t3_1r1j4e | relationships | My [32m] GF [31f] of 2 years says I'm "mean" every time I'm upset about her contact with an ex. | I'm trying to understand if there is a psychological condition going on here with her, because every time I'm upset about her contact with an ex that I believe to be inappropriate, she ignores the issue I'm raising or says it's not a big deal, and turns it back on me as though I'm the one that is wrong for being upset at her. I don't call her names, I don't scream and throw things, I just tell her it is ridiculous that she still sees this guy and ask her to stop.
He is her ex-husband that she previously cheated on me with and yet still does favors for him like drive him to the airport. I tell her crap like that is not ok, and she just rationalizes what she does and then tells me I'm being mean to her for being upset. This is how she reacts literally every time I'm upset: ignores the topic and says I'm being mean focusing on the tone of my voice rather than the message.
I feel like this is some sort of psychological condition and I can't figure out exactly what the term for it is. Any ideas? | GF turns every fight back on me saying I'm "mean" when I'm upset, and doesn't focus on her own bad behavior or dismisses it as not anything wrong. What is going on with her? |
t3_3lmrt1 | relationships | My younger brother [19 M] been bringing his girlfriend to my parent house and staying late. Parent don't like it. How do I go about talking to him about it? | I'm the older brother. My younger brother been bringing his girlfriend to stay late at my parent house every weekend. My parent really don't like it. The younger brother don't listen to my parent. I been call upon to talk to him.
My biggest issue is myself. I get piss easily when my sibling don't listen to my parent. They done a lot to raise the family up from nothing. I become irate and may yell a lot. I don't care about whatever he's doing, but I need him to stop bringing his girlfriend over. I can foresee myself yelling a lot if he ignore me. How should I approach this issue? | Parent don't like how my younger brother is bringing his girlfriend to stay late on the weekend. I have a yelling issue when dealing with these stuff. How do I approach the issue and have him stop? |
t3_42wnrt | Advice | Me [24 M] and my new girl [21 F] always liked eachother, started going out last week, not a lot of phys contact initiated by her? | **So hey, I finally got the girl!**
I found out the other day that she's been just as crazy about me as I've been about her, and we've spent the last few days with eachother. But what I find kind of weird is that she doesn't ever really initiate physical contact. She seems fine with me holding her, she always grabs my hand when I offer it, and will sometimes put her hand on mine when I put my hand on her leg while driving.
When kiss she lights the hell up, and welcomes it, but I can't think of a time she's gone out of her way to really make contact with me. We've only been seeing eachother for a few days, but we've liked the hell out of eachother for months.
_
Maybe she's just shy/awkward? Maybe I'm moving too fast?
But we've liked eachother so much for so long already, and we're SO happy to finally be with eachother, I just expected it to me much more cuddly/huggy/kissy/etc. | Just stated dating, not a lot of physical contact from her end, but fine with me holding her/when I initiate/etc. |
t3_4kv32m | legaladvice | [MD] She (16) sent a nude to my ex (23) after saying her age and that she consented. She then proceeds to send a nude photo. | So after I broke up with my ex bf, he started having panic attacks and was devastated. To get over me, he went online and was talking to this girl. They begin texting each other and she tells him she's 16 and that she consents. He tells her he is uncomfortable with that but still texts her. Afterwards, she then sends him a nude photo and he so foolishly sent her "😍". They still texted each other until her father found out about it and threatens to press charges. The father called and my ex told him that he was only 17. They are also both military men. What should I do? | 16 yr old is texting a 23 yr old, she tells him his age and that she consents. then she proceeds to send a nude photo. father found out and threatens to press charges. |
t3_2r33ya | relationships | I [25M] love her [24F], but she's gay... we think? | So we met 2 years ago when I trained her at work. 1 look at her and I fell for her HARD. I kept my mouth shut about it, as I had a gf at the time, but we became fast friends. We get along on a level I never knew existed; even from day 1 we made jokes only the other would get, we liked 95% of the same things... including girls, I found out one day.
I asked her to the movies one day (after my previous relationship ended, of course), and she came out to me and apologized if I felt she was leading me on. I assured her it wasn't the case, and told her that nothing was gonna stop us from being friends, even a little one-sided sexual tension (lmao).
About a week later, we were at my place with some friends about to go for a swim. She went to change in my room with the other girls and I changed in the bathroom. Once I was done, I went into my room to grab my phone, only to see her standing nude on my bed. I started to panic and run back out when she said, "don't worry, it's fine if you look." So it was just the 2 of us standing in my room as she watched me watch her get dressed. Since then, we've both been in relationships with other people, but she makes sure to sext me every so often (unprovoked, and she says I'm not allowed to sext back ). I really am in love with her, but I'm not sure if she feels similarly or just likes the attention. How would I go about talking to her about this? I wanna be with her badly, but I'm afraid if I push the issue too much I might lose her friendship altogether... | I like her, she's gay, but she sends me nudes a lot! Should I just go for it?! |
t3_pkqms | AskReddit | The job I want keeps blowing me off. Now they sound for real, but... | Let me first say that I am losing my reddit submission vcard on this. I am currently in a predicament with being in-between jobs and am turning to you guys/gals for advice. For the last couple months I have been strung out by a (going to be unnamed) company. In this time, I've been assured of my qualifications, but been told that my background check is taking a long time (my record is clean, no worries). However, as much as I am assured, I feel like they have been taking their sweet precious. In the mean time I applied for other jobs, and this week one came up with Red Lobster.
I started training with RL on Thursday thinking that I wasn't going to hear from the other employer. Of course they call me the next day saying the background check is almost done, and they would be contacting me early next week. Still, no definitive offer/set date of employment.
My question is: should I still stick with RL or go ahead and let them know I'm turing down the job? Honestly, I don't want to waste their time, but also dont want to be left in the situation where I may get strung out again. I really want the job with the unnamed company because it pays more/better benefits. | Prospective job taking long time, another one comes along that I'm just starting. Prospective job calls back, but not set in stone. |
t3_359bn4 | relationships | Me [22F] with my mom [46F]. My mother is unsupportive of nearly everything in my life. | My mother is the most unsupportive person in my life. No matter what I do, nothing is good enough for her. She routinely tells me that I have done nothing in life for her to be proud of, which I don't believe is true. She disapproves of every friend and man that I date. She tries, and succeeds, in ruining nearly all of my relationships. I'm 22, but if I do something that she disapproves of like talk to my biological father (they are divorced) or want to get a certain hair style that she disapproves of she threatens to cut me off and kick me out of my apartment. My step father's name is on my lease because my credit is so bad that I can't get an apartment in my name and needed a cosigner. She also is having to help me pay some of my bills because I am in school and not able to work as much as I could otherwise. She has the purse strings so to speak and uses this against me when it suits her so that she gets her way. One example is getting my roommates number from the leasing office and calling my roommate to talk to her, which freaked my roommate out and she almost moved out a few months ago.
I honestly don't know what to do. I usually try to overlook it, but tonight it is really depressing me. I'm trying to study abroad next semester which is a big step and goal for me and my mom is completely unsupportive of it because it's not in a country that she approves of.
I just see people all the time who have mothers that are their best friends and I wish I had that with my mother. I just don't feel like I'm ever going to live up to her expectations. | My mother is unsupportive of everything in my life and is overly controlling, sometimes to the point of emotional abuse. |
t3_2mjneh | relationships | I [25F] can't figure out my co-worker [28m] am I being played?? | Sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense.
I recently got out of a 4 year relationship and have been avoiding boys pretty much for the last 2-3 months. We hired someone new at work who I didn't pay much attention to, however, he kept pursuing me in that he would go out of his way to talk to me, added me on facebook and would ALWAYS message me. In fact, we stayed up many nights till 3-4am talking on facebook. It turns out we had a lot in common so we had a lot to talk about. So, naturally I started to develop some feelings and couldn't wait to work with him or talk to him at night.
However, abot 3 weeks ago he started ignoring me all together. He no longer messaged me on facebook, and kind of avoided me at work. I just assumed he had met someone, and felt kind of sad about it but whatever, this is life. However, last night it was one of our co-workers birthdays and he was all over me. He kept asking me to go home and cuddle with him, but I wasn't about to do that. Today at work he told me I looked beautiful and couldn't want to see me again...
I just.. is he just in this for sex? I have honestly been with / dated whatever one person in 5 years and getting out there is fucking terrifying.. I need some advice. Please help | co-worker hit on me for a long time, as soon as I showed interest started to avoid me, but was flirty last night. |
t3_3q6597 | relationships | I [20 M] am dating a girl [20 F] for 1 week so far, I think she is self-centered? | I met this girl and we both go to the same college. We went on two dates so far and I have noticed that she mainly focuses on what she does and her life. She asked some questions about me on the first date, but after that, she mostly focused on herself.
Whenever we text she rarely asks about how my day is going/went and it's always me who's asking her. I know that she is an only child with divorced parents. It's just kind of strange how she never seems to ask about what I'm doing/ how I am. Like I said, it's only really been a week so there is no major commitment. | I'm worried she is self-centered, and am wondering if I should continue at this point. Should I bail out now? |
t3_10rt7l | AskReddit | Reddit, I will do anything legal. How can I make $8,000 in the next ten days? | **If there is a better sub that I can x-post this on, please let me know.**
I am currently a financial burden on my family who has very little.
I was recently in an accident that totaled my car. I bought a $900 dollar car (that was all I could afford) only to have it break down needing a new engine. I have about $400 dollars right now and I can get rides to my internship from my dad. I hate wasting his money for gas and I live at home eating my parent's food.
$250 a month in loans are coming and I have a better paying job lined up that can get me out of this situation and I convinced them to give me 12 days before I start.
To be able to work there I'll need a reliable car and reliable computer. My parents' work schedule won't allow them to get me there on time.
**Skills**
I am a college graduate with a PR and Graphic Design degree. I have experience working in IT (why I love reddit) and I can teach swimming since I swam in college. I have a DLSR 5100 camera and photo/video skills. Will do any manual labor if that's what's needed.
**I will work day and night. I will shovel poop. Whatever I can.**
I don't think this is an unreasonable number, and if this produces any results I will post with the progress at the end of the 10 days.
*Additionally, I am sure I am not alone in the post college struggles and any advice will help us all. | I will do anything to make $8,000 in 10 days to make things better for me and my family. What should I do? |
t3_4t2y1f | relationships | Me [19F] with my boyfriend [19M] of 2 years, how can I stop being jealous of the cool experiences he gets to have? | Let me preface this by saying I know I'm in the wrong in this situation.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 2 years. We got together in high school and have been long-distance since we started college many states away from each other this past fall. Our relationship is wonderful and I love him to death - he's kind, supportive, thoughtful, smart, and we just click. I have some fairly severe mental health problems and he's stuck with me through all of it and helped me start healing. We've had our issues along the way, as with any couple, but recently it's been smooth.
My BF and his family do lots of fun travel-related things - they spent a semester in Europe a couple years ago, spent a month backpacking in the mountains last summer, and for the next month or so he's back in Europe. They are able to do this mostly because his parents make good money and have jobs that allow them to take long vacations (I'm talking a month or more).
My family is financially comfortable, I've always had my needs and many of my wants met, and we do travel sometimes. However, I can't help but be jealous when BF gets all these cool opportunities to travel and see the world and I don't. It kind of sucks having your boyfriend send you pictures of mountains and canyons and castles etc while you're stuck working a service job at a grocery store. This summer my situation is somewhat better - I'm doing research at my college, which is cool - but it's still hard not to be jealous when he's overseas and I'm stuck in the suburbs. I know this makes me sound like a brat, and I know I should just be happy for my BF for getting to do all this stuff, but I can't shake the jealousy.
He's not mean about it at all, doesn't rub it in my face or anything. My main question is - how can I get over myself and stop envying him for having experiences I don't have access to? | my BF goes on trips abroad with his family while I'm stuck working stateside, how can I stop being jealous of him for it? |
t3_z7xhv | relationships | Reasonable gf/ex-gf or not? [m&f 20] | Here's how the situation went down, i'm looking for some reasonable/unreasoanble calls.
My girlfriend [20f] and I [20m] attend the same college. We are both doing an abroad program in a different city and were visiting our friends at school for labor day weekend. We were sleeping with separate friends, but texting throughout the day. I was sleeping in my fraternity house.
Some background: my girlfriend and I had previously had some trust issues which we were working through. We dated (9 months), broke up (5 months), and then began dating again (approx 8 months now). We also agreed to immediately tell each other if anybody whom we had hooked up with in the intervening period contacted us.
There is a second girl who we'll call Jane. During the period when we were broken up, I took Jane to my fraternity formal. We kissed but did not hook up seriously. Today, she texted me around 2:15 PM, asking about parties at my fraternity. I responded by letting her know that I wasn't in town for the semester and that she should text some of my fraternity brothers (who she also knows) about parties for the semester.
My girlfriend and I drank separately for the night. I chilled at my fraternity with some of my brothers, no party of any sort. My girlfriend attended several parties on campus and saw some of her friends. When she arrived at the house around 12:30 am, I let her know that Jane had texted me earlier in the day. She was enraged by the fact that Jane had texted me earlier in the day and I hadn't told her sooner. She thought that 10 hours was an absurdly long time to delay telling her about Jane, given that I had taken Jane to a fraternity formal which I would have otherwise taken my (then ex) girlfriend to. She yelled at me in the chapter room of my house, with several of my brothers within earshot. I informed her that I thought her reaction was absurd and that I was uninterested in continuing the conversation. I asked her friend to bring her home.
What advice can you give me, reddit? | my gf got mad at me because I girl I kissed twice (when i was single) texted me and I didn't tell her about it soon enough (I told her 10 hours later). I'm wondering if I'm reasonable. |
t3_4kk5jr | relationships | Me [19M] with my friend [20F] - don't know whether to date her or not | There really isn't too much to tell in this story so I'll keep it as short as possible.
My [19M] friend Zoe [20F] and I get on really well together - she worked in a youth group with me two years ago and naturally we bonded over many similar things. We both share the same religious views, we both have similar humour and we spent so much time together that we eventually just became great friends.
About this time last year she moved about an hour away to go to college (I'm not from the US so this is a long way away for me!) so we've only seen each other sparingly - meeting up for coffee or occasionally she'd call back to the youth group simply to see how we were getting on. We still text a lot though.
A couple of days ago we met up for a coffee and she asked if I was still with my girlfriend - I replied I was not as we broke up a few weeks earlier (she cheated on me if that's relevant). She noticeably perked up and was a lot happier for the rest of the time we were together. When we parted she kissed me on the cheek which she's never done before.
I *assume* that means she's interested in me. And yes, I guess I'm interested in her too a bit.
The problem is I can't tell if I'm attracted to her or not. Emotionally I am, but physically I'm really unsure. She's not a horrible looking girl by any means, but I've never thought to myself that she's extremely attractive. Every so often I'd think she's pretty but most of the time I don't feel anything.
Should I try dating her to see if that helps? Or would this be doomed to fail? Or am I even overthinking that she likes me? | I am very close to a female friend who I think has shown an interest in me, however I am not sure if I am physically attracted to her. Should I ask her out to see if it helps? |
t3_35x40g | relationships | Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 7 years, Why did he "cheat" | Let me start this by saying me [21f] have been dating my boyfriend [22m] for about 7 years on and off. And that i love him very much, and have forgiven what has happened. [we are still together]
We started dating sophomore year high school, and come my senior year (he was out of school because he had gotten his GED) i decided to drive home his home town because he was homesick, well later on i found out he was "cheating" on me with someone [ i say cheating loosely because the only evidence was his brother and uncle telling me he did and i saw the chat / video chat messages between them on his Facebook/ and no they where no something you would want to see your BF/GF saying to another person].
When i confronted, he broke up with me. We got back together about two months later, and we talked about it and everything is good. [ we have now been together 4 years science we got back together]
But the only thing that still is not clear is why he did it, he will never tell me a straight answer. And i did forgive him but i still wounder why, what happened?
What is your advice on how to get over/forget that ill never truly know why he did it. | High school boyfriend cheated on me , we broke up, then got back together, and i still wounder why he "cheated" but i know ill never know why, how do i get over that fact? |
t3_2m5yaj | relationships | I [22/M] was recently treated for chlamydia. Between that and the rest of my fucked up sexual history I'm now officially afraid to take my pants off. | Sarah [23/F] and I hit it off right away. Last night she came over to my place. We were kissing in my bed and she tried to take my pants off. I immediately stopped her and she went home shortly thereafter. Today I talked to her and she agreed that things got a little out of hand and that it'd be best to slow down.
A week before I met her, I tested positive for chlamydia. I took the antibiotics straight away and my doctor assured me that I'd be safe for sexual contact seven days after taking them.
The disease is, according to my doctor, out of my system by now (or at least no longer contagious). I was told to come back at the end of November for another test to ensure that I'm clear. Obviously I'm going to wait at least until I get a clean bill of health, but I'm worried that from here on out I'm always going to be scared to have sex.
It didn't help that shortly before this whole incident she talked about how STDs are disgusting and terrifying and the thought of them are nearly enough to put her off sex entirely. That was a pretty serious blow to my self-esteem. I already feel like an idiot for getting myself into this mess, and now I'm worried that I might have to tell this amazing girl that I'm putting off sex because this whole thing is freezing me in my tracks. I haven't even really been aroused since I got it.
In addition to that, the last long-term relationship I had ended partially because my ex told me that most of the time we had sex was because she didn't feel like she could say no to me, which made me feel less than worthless.
Oh, and I was raised Catholic. | Got chlamydia. Don't have it anymore, but I'm still afraid to take off my pants. The rest of my sex life hasn't been much better. Is this fear gonna go away? |
t3_1n8n6a | relationships | I was [21 M] with my girlfriend[19 F] for almost two years, we just had a mutual break-up | We had a great start (like many), for the first year and half we were on fire, loving life and each other. We had a few rough patches but always recovered. A few months ago we had a break up for a day but got back together the next day. It mainly stemmed from a mutual lack of passion. We recently were going through the same pattern of me not feeling 100%, viewing her as needy sometimes. She wanted to talk and I felt a combination of dread and excitement as part of me wanted to end it as well. She was and is my first love. I also sometimes worried about growing old with her and regretting not expanding my horizons. Now, I feel completely different, but this is mostly from the break-up I assume.
We both decided to break it off this Sunday and I feel like absolute garbage. I feel like I had such a great relationship but I just kept focusing on keeping this awesome girl as opposed to loving her. I don't want to put her through more heartache by risking trying again and having it blow up. I talked to her today and she seemed to be doing better. Which, on paper, is fantastic! But internally it was like a twisting dagger. The idea that she could eventually move on fills me with sadness, rage and regret. I want to tell her what I think I did wrong and try to work on it, but I don't know if this is selfish of me. | Broke up this Monday, feel like garbage. I want to fix things but I don't know if it's selfish of me. |
t3_v8t19 | AskReddit | Have you ever had a, "Should I tell my boss moment?" | A co-worker of mine has always had a horrible demeanor with everyone (except me because I think I intimidate her). I see it and it sickens me. She yells at people she has absolutely no authority over, talks down to everyone except her manager, hangs up on people that frustrate her, and complains about everything. I've worked in her department and used to do her work. I was able to create a process that allows the work to be done in a fraction of the time, however she is in every way resillient to change and insists that she is overworked and HAS to work 12 hour days.
I know that my boss (we have the same boss but are in different departments) is aware of her lack of social professional skills, being that she told me that this came up in one of her reviews, however she continues to cause issues that I'm very well aware of. Other co-workers have pressed the issue with my boss, however they feel that because he believes that there is a long standing feud between them and this other co-worker that the situation is being exagerrated.
I have long avoided getting involved, however today I heard her at it again and it just boiled my blood. She also happened to mention that she won't be here in 12 months and she can't wait. When others asked her about that comment, she said she did it out of anger.
I'm contemplating sitting down and talking to my boss about the situation, being a 3rd party spectator that can vouch for what other employees are experiencing with her.
I know it's not a huge ethical issue, but I have no idea what to do and how to approach it. It would be nice to hear from others that have been in similar situations. | co-worker treats people like shit, implied that she won't be working here much longer, contemplating talking to my boss |
t3_3mcf8p | tifu | TIFU by my friend harassing me about liking a girl-friend when I don't. | So, while this is technically not my screw up, it was my friend screwing it up for me. We've been spending almost a week in a beach house together, with two teenage boys (myself and my friend) and 4 girls, plus about 6 adults. My friend kept harassing me about some girl I was becoming really great friends with, we could joke, play pranks on each other and mess around. We're both a couple of smart-mouths, basically. It was a wonderful friendship, especially one with a girl. But there's absolutely nothing romantic there.
My friend here has a lot of issues and is known for this behavior. I called my parents, and they said to talk to her father and clear it up so my name isn't drug through the mud. He really believed me and said it was fine, and he even shook my hand twice and gave me a pat on the back. So he trusts me. He talked to his daughter, whom we will call "Chrissy."
So, now that "Chrissy" got told by her father about my friend falsely accusing me, I'm afraid that it's going to be really awkward even though I was told I wouldn't come out getting hurt in this ordeal. So thanks, my friend, for fucking up a really good friendship, making me feel like shit when I shouldn't and wanting to cry. I'm unbelievably pissed, scared, and sad at the same time. | My friend falsely accuses me of liking a close female friend romantically. We had a great relationship, but now that this happened I'm terrified I've lost an awesome friend. |
t3_1zt5nk | travel | Visa Query - Travelling from UK to Vietnam, Cambodia, and (maybe) Laos. | Hey guys, this June I will be flying to Vietnam form the UK and I will also be going to Cambodia and possibly Laos. The trip is going to be for two months and I will be going in and out of the country multiple times so I must obtain a three month multiple entry tourist visa. I am doing some research and have discovered that buying a visa from the London Vietnamese embassy is pretty expensive and that it is possible to buy visas on arrival instead.
My main concern is whether it is possible to acquire this type of visa for Vietnam upon arrival. Also, is it possible to get visas for the neighbouring countries at their respective borders?
I am asking this because apparently it is cheaper and easier to get visas upon arrival and also more convenient bearing in mind I have all the required documents. The thing is, when I went on the [Embassy of Vietnam website for the UK] it says, ***'We do not recommend visa-on-arrival and online visa. These types of visa are issued by un-recognised websites with no connections with the embassy. We cannot verify the validity of such visa and cannot provide assistances to travelers in case they are refused entry while using these types of visa.'***
If there is anyone who has acquired these types of visa upon entry or knows about whether it is possible to do so, please post a comment with any information possible, it will help a LOT!
Cám ơn | Is it possible to get a visa upon entry into Vietnam for a UK citizen? Also is it possible to get visas for the neighbouring countries at the borders? |
t3_1cnpm7 | AskReddit | Is this a fair return policy? | I bought a suit from Quail's Menswear, 40R 1 week ago. Though the lapels bulged when I stood straight, the S/A convinced me that this fit was the trend--slim fitting suits. So I said I would buy it and the S/A told me to try on the pants so he could make any adjustments if necessary. I did and he marked the hem.
I went to check out while the tailor took care of the pants and I noticed a small sign saying, "No returns after alterations." I didn't think too much of it because I assumed it was normal to hem pants before buying a suit. I made small talk with the S/A and we connected over our shared Turkish ancestry, and he threw in a tie for me.
The problem arose when I tried on the suit a couple more times at home and just couldn't get over the bulging lapels. I took the suit back today, and the S/A told me he could not take it because it had been altered; the hem had been cut. I was half expecting this so I wasn't shocked but told him that I would have appreciated a heads up before they cut the hem.
I'm not sure if its worth calling the chain's management to complain or try to haggle a return.
As for the suit, I will try to have a tailor adjust it so that it no longer bulges, but my hopes are not high. It may just be that I'll have to keep the buttons open all the time.
I'm sure I would never have this problem if I had bought from Macy's or Nordstroms. Advice from those in men's wear retail? | S/A sold me an ill-fitting suit and refused a return because the pants were hemmed by his store on the day of purchase . |
t3_3mgdyw | relationships | I have [21M] been taking it too fast with [21F]. Should I talk it out? | So I have come to realise that I may be taking our relationship way too fast. I told her that I love her two months in, she was a bit confused and distant at first but after giving her some space she came around and told me she loved me too. Lately, I have reflected on my behavior with her and I do believe that I may come across as clingy and too affectionate. I tend to kiss her a lot and say nice things via text, but she doesn't seem to be on the same page with me, so as of right now I am trying to give her some space and work on myself for a bit. Hopefully this will make her be less distant with me. I do trust her, but she isn't the kind of person that would voice her opinion directly (if not at all), so I was considering of voicing my concerns to her, ask her if indeed I am acting clingy and if she needs more space. Do you think this would be the right move or will this create an even greater distance between us? | I have been taking our relationship too fast and I want to slow things down by having an adult conversation with her. Im fairly new to relationships, so I come here asking for your advice on whether this would be the right move. |
t3_4pnuqa | relationships | This girl [19 F] I've gone on a couple dates with ignored my [22 M] invite for a third date and we haven't texted each other since | I've been texting this girl for about a month and we've been on two dates with and five days ago we were texting asked her if she was free to go out and she read it immediately and then suddenly stopped talking to me, and we haven't contacted each other since that text. Should I try again or text her something unrelated or leave it at that?
I mean, no hard feelings, she has the right to stop talking to me or deciding if she's interested or not, but I have no reason to believe that she's lost interest, aside from the no contact part, because everything seemed great up until that point.
The uncertainty is killing me. I don't want to appear needy or desperate but if I text her again and something similar happens, well I know what that means, and I can stop thinking about that. But I also don't want to miss out just because some pride bullsh*t, because she's pretty cool. So, I don't know what I should do. | Texted a girl I've been dating for a third date, she read the text, did not reply, haven't talked since and I don't know what I should do |
t3_owzt9 | relationship_advice | Girlfriend has done all kinds of freaky stuff with other guys, tells me about, but only vanilla sex for me? WTF? | I'll give some quick background: we are both thirty, have been dating for almost a year now.
This girl is really great, she's intelligent, sexy, motivated, kind, etc., but I am having a hard time getting over this sex thing. When we first started dating things were hot and heavy and sexually quite good. She told me early on that she saw things getting quite serious between us, and that we could have a real relationship. She also told me that she had been "a bit slutty" in the past few years, and that she wanted to stop being like that. By being with me. I come later to learn that being a bit slutty meant having quite a few one night stands with random men from the bar. She has been quite honest with me and has even gone in to some explicit detail about things she used to do with others: anal sex, rimming, some S&M, that sort of thing. I am not a stranger to this kind of sex, and consider my self to a fairly sex-positive guy. On one of our first dates she even brought me to a poetry reading where she read erotic poems about an ex of hers, which at the time didn't bother me, but now it does and to the point of my distress...
To be completely honest her sleeping with a bunch of other guys and getting freaky with them doesn't bother me all that much. It's that our sex is just vanilla! She doesn't want to even take the lead, I almost always initiate it, and when I mention things like anal she shuts me down, even though she has told me in detail she's done it with multiple other guys, even one night stands, in the past!
Reddit, this confuses and hurts me. On the one hand I know that she has every right to do what she wants with her body, and sexuality. On the other hand I wonder why she won't get down with me, and has freely given it away to strangers in the past. She tells me she loves me more than anything, but refuses to have anything but vanilla with me! What gives? | GF has lots of nasty (good) sex with random hookups, but won't do anything but vanilla with me. Why? |
t3_2229f8 | askwomenadvice | In a professional interview conducted by a woman, what does this gesture mean? | I have had this happen to me about three times in my life, twice when I was in my twenties and most recently again in my fifties. I still don't understand what it means.
The first time it happened was in an interview for a position in a chemical research laboratory. The woman interviewing me asked typical questions, but at some point in the interview, she slightly pulled up her knee-length skirt and exposed her slip to me. She did this with obvious intent, it wasn't an accident. She observed my reaction, and I gave none because I was just baffled. Then she pulled her skirt back down and continued on as if nothing had happened.
I wrote this off as just strange, but when it happened again about a year ago and I was now in my fifties, it brought the question back. I was again being interviewed by a woman in a professional setting, and the same situation happened again.
What does this mean? These interviews were incredibly formal and this gesture seemed incongruous with the setting. Does anyone know what this means? | Interviewed twice in a highly professional setting, both times the female interviewer lifted her skirt to expose her slip, observed my behaviour, pulled the skirt back down and then acted as if it never happened. What does this mean? |
t3_12ulnl | Advice | Need advice on HR issues at work. | Here is the situation:
My ex-husband and I work at the same job, on different shifts. We have a child and we share custody. He is supposed to pick her up after work. He changes his schedule (willingly) almost every 2 weeks. I work overnight. I am currently in a temporary supervisor position, giving me access to the whole departments schedules. Depending on when he comes to work, I either pick her up one of two places when I get off at 630am. To be sure of the location of pickup, I checked his schedule in the middle of the night while working. It said 7a-330p, so I assumed it would be pickup from Point A. I waited until almost 7 am, and decided to go to Point B thinking he must not be going to work until 8a. When it comes time for him to pick her up, I text him to ask when he is coming. He says 5pm, that his schedule is 8-5, and asks why. I said just checking, because your schedule said 7-330. He is legally obligated to give me his schedule in advance, but rarely gives me more than 12 hours notice. I assumed he either didn't realize what his schedule was, or he was lying.
Now, I am in the temporary supervisor position, applying for the full time position. I had already gone through several interviews and I was to have a meeting/interview with the big boss that night about it. Instead, when I get to work, he has a printed off email of this text conversation and tells me that I was wrong to look it up and that I am being denied the position for this reason. I believe my ex is doing this to be malicious towards me and prevent me from getting the position. Otherwise, why would he make such a big deal of it, if not just out of anger for being caught. What actions, if any, would be appropriate for me, and what outcome could I expect? | Ex sent my boss a text conversation which directly resulted in me losing a promotion. All I did was check his schedule to make sure I had the pickup arrangements for our kid right. |
t3_3scyxa | tifu | TIFU by eating Chinese food at work. | NSFW
This will probably be taken down by the mods but I'll give it a shot because I'll probably forget to post this by the time Saturday rolls around.
Like it says in the title, I ate Chinese food for lunch today. I finished eating it and sat in the break room for awhile browsing Reddit like I usually do. I got up to leave about fifteen minutes before lunch ended because I had to use the restroom before returning to work. I got about ten steps out the door and felt a small fart come on. Here's where the fuck up occurs. I let out a small pop and felt a barrage of enemies come swarming out behind this tiny fart. It took my brain about half a second to realize it was a Trojan Horse and close the gate but the damage was done. My boxers were slaughtered.
I went into panic mode and started fast walking/shuffling to the bathroom, praying it couldn't be seen, and I wouldn't pass anyone. I got to the bathroom and released the prisoners from their confines to inspect the damage. My pants were spared but as I already knew, my boxers were done for. I pulled out my multi tool and found that both my scissors and cheap blade were no match for the thick cotton material.
I immediately started berating myself for not bringing my usual pocket knife to work with me and proceeded to unfold the saw from my multi tool. And there in that cramped little stall I proceeded to saw through my soiled underwear in shame and self loathing.
I finished the deed and buried them in the trash can. I told my manager I had ate some bad food and had to leave. When I got home and told my girlfriend she responded with laughter and possibly the best reply ever. She said, "I suppose it would be a bad idea to tell you there's a Taco Bell burrito in the fridge for you." I sighed, cracked open a beer, and ate that burrito with Sriracha and gusto. I may have shit myself but I'll be dammed if that wasn't a damn good burrito. | Ate Chinese food at work, shit myself and came home early, and had a Taco Bell burrito with Sriracha for dinner. |
t3_24fsmm | relationship_advice | Mom caught the girlfriend [17/f] and I [16/m] having sex. | Now, I know this age isn't the appropriate age to be having sex, I am very aware of that.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months and have a very stable relationship, and we have been intimate for 2 months. We use protection and whenever we have a slip up we make sure to get some tests.
A couple days ago I was up at my girlfriends house, I like to tuck her into bed and say our goodnights but it was after midnight and we both agreed on having sex as long as we were quite. 5 minutes pass and we hear someone coming down the stairs and her mom just opens the door and asks me to leave. Ever since then her mom is restricting certain things between my girlfriend and I. Me not be able to go into the house to say our goodnights or tucking her in (it's become a nightly routine). I understand where her mom is coming from, I would act the same way if I were a parent. But no one has spoken a word and I don't know where to start about apologizing and making things right. I want a healthy relationship between her mom and I or else my relationship with my girlfriend may suffer. | Mom caught the girlfriend and I having sex, mom restricting things like Goodnights and tucking her into bed. Mom hasn't said a word about it to neither of us. Damage control needed. |
t3_3g642k | tifu | TIFU by going skinny dipping in Spain | Me and my buddies took a trip to Spain 3 weeks ago. One night of drinking ended in us walking on a road next to the sea. We decided to go for a late-night skinny dip but were obstructed by a long fence.
The only* viable* option we had was to climb a pillar a hundred meters farther and jump the fence. Before long that *viable* option turned out to be one of the worst decisions of my life.
After two of my friends had succesfully climbed the pillar, jumped the fence and found their way into the water it was my turn. Climbing the pillar was easy, I was on top after a few seconds. However, the jumping part is where it all failed.
As I jumped, I instantly knew I had fucked up. You know those cat videos where the cat slips as it jumps? That was me. Now this wouldn't have been such a big fuckup if it had been an average fence. But no, this fucker had big spikes on top to make sure no one could get across safely. One of those spikes found its way into my right calf, **ripping all the muscle and tendons from calf to heel** before getting stuck in my foot.
My body slammed into the fence and my leg broke, bone sticking out and all. Hanging upside down experiencing the worst pain of my life, my friends figured it was the ideal moment to break out into laughter. (We were drunk so yea, can't really blame them.)
Not until I start freaking out and yell at them to get me down because "this shit is serious" they help me out. After being helped down and getting a clearer view of the actual situation I obviously pass out instantly.
When I woke up in the hospital and was given a brief explanation of what happened I also learnt most of our clothes and other belongings were stolen while my friends were helping me.
Aftermath: a million staples in my leg. In 8 weeks I'll be able to start "walking" again. I hope to be able to run again in about a year.
I don't know what I did to get my Karma in the red so hard but I hope it's been neutralised now. | Decided to go skinny dipping, tried to jump a fence, failed, ripped open + broke leg, meanwhile clothes were stolen, will be able to start "walking" again in 8 weeks. |
t3_1cwdzj | self | [28m]'s former SO [22m] was sexually abused. I'm the only one who knows and am not handling it well. | We haven't been a couple for months due to fidelity issues. While we were having a mild argument about it, he yells out about being abused by his former boyfriend. It's a long story involving a breakdown and tumultuous communication, but now that I've finally *began* to move past being cheated on in such an awful way, I'm beginning to process what happened to him as I've learned more since we have talked a few times.
He went to find a new therapist, doesn't want to talk to her about it anymore. Is leaving school and I guess I'm just worried about him. It's hard being the only one who knows. What's a good way to bring up this issue that I've never asked him about but he seems to only talk to me about? It's a hard burden to carry. I'm thinking of waiting until school is out for him and then contacting him to see if we can talk about it.
Any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks. | Former SO was sexually abused. I'm the only one who knows. How do I encourage him properly with out overwhelming him. Should I? |
t3_16n21j | relationships | I'm [28m] thinking about the future with her [24f] | We've been together for about 6 months by this point, so talk about moving in together hasn't been brought up by either party. However, I've been thinking about it a lot, recently.
She [24f] is currently unemployed, although she's seeking employment and going to school... which is really the crux of the matter.
Should I wait until she's employed to ask her about moving in? I feel like it would let her come to me as an equal, rather than as someone beholden to me. I'm also nervous that it'll come up in conversation, and that I'll come off as materialistic or miserly. | She's unemployed, is it callous to make sure she's gainfully employed before I even consider letting her move in? |
t3_1jmg6w | relationships | My boyfriend [16M] has told at least 10 people extremely intimate details about me [16F] | Hi guys. I'd just like to preface this by saying please, please try not to judge me about what I did in the past. I realize it was completely wrong and regret it more than anything.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over three years now. We were originally very chaste with each other. Things quickly 'heated up' after we turned 15, and one night we took things a little bit too far. I don't like remembering this but we basically just did foreplay without actually having sex (touching each other, clothes off, and most things that comes with that). After that night I realized I really wasn't ready to be doing anything remotely close to that again. He told me he understood and that we would keep everything that happened between ourselves, and for the past year we haven't gone any further than kissing.
He recently just got back from a school-sponsored summer camp. While I was talking to him about how it went, he mentioned how he and his roommates (there were about 10-12 guys per group) talked about everything honestly with each other. That made me kinda worried and I asked him if he'd said anything about that night. He just shrugged and said, "Of course. We were playing a version of never have I ever and sexual stuff came up, and I wasn't going to lie. They promised they would never tell anyone." I was just... shocked. I thought he understood how ashamed I was of that night. The fact that he just told them hurts me a lot. I'm actually decent friends with a few guys that were in the room and one has already texting me asking me how it felt to be a c*cksucker.
I understand that I probably couldn't realistically expect him to not tell anyone, I just thought he respected me more than that. I just have absolutely no idea what to do. I'd truly appreciate any advice anyone could give me. | Made a huge mistake with bf and both agreed not to tell anyone about it. A year later he tells a large group of guys, and now I have no idea how to handle the situation. |
t3_2yxj42 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my SO [23 F] of 6 months, are having trouble communicating effectively. I feel like I am being bullied. | We lately have been getting into arguments over little things. I do my best not to throw little stings at her about past events to harm her. Instead, I listen to what she says and respond. I try to keep the argument in the moment.
She, on the other hand, is constantly bringing up past faults of mine. I know that if I were to do that to her, because I have, she will get even angrier.
To add on, she complains that I am insensitive and fail to understand why she is so upset. She claims that I never try to listen to what she has to say.
However, whenever I try to explain my side, she shuts down and says, "You're right. Whatever I say is stupid and wrong." I feel like she's not listening to me, but she always goes back to it being my fault.
I don't know what to do. | Girlfriend can't communicate with me because she feels that I am not listening. I feel like I can't communicate with her for the same reason. What should we do? |
t3_2d1z3b | relationships | I [19F] broke up with my boyfriend [24M] of 2 years last night. Is it appropriate to send a post-breakup letter? | I sort of did it out of the blue, he was completely taken by surprise. I had good reasons, most of which being that I needed to be alone and explore and figure out who I was. Also felt like he relied on me too much to be happy, started feeling trapped, that sort of thing. (see previous post
He did not take it well at all. I feel so horrendous for hurting him, even though I know it needed to be done, and I still love him an incredible amount. He kept saying he will never open up to anyone the way he did with me ever again, that he would do anything for me, just overall angry and upset.
One thing really hit me though. He said my explanation gave him no closure whatsoever. I feel like I owe him more than a half hour conversation in a park and a nonexistent goodbye.
So I wrote in my journal. It was supposed to just be for me to read when I was feeling weak, but it turned out to be something I would want him to see to try and understand more where I am coming from. I feel like I owe him that closure.
So my question is this: Do I send it? Or will it do more harm than good? | Broke it off, he did not take it well and I feel awful for not offering closure. Do I send a letter I wrote, or will it do more harm than good? |
t3_4qo5iy | Advice | adderall might be making me go crazy... | Prescribed 60mg XR (20mgxr x 3) and I usually take 1 or 2 a day but even that is probably too much. I want to keep a lot around "just in case". Funny thing is I'm not that much more productive with it, except maybe once in a while. If I cut it off, I'll sleep a lot for a few days and gorge on everything. When it wears off during the day I'm so angry. I've been super paranoid about my boyfriend cheating on me, granted his drinking out a lot of working with lots of women makes me feel I have a reason to be. My emotions during the day are wack... but this would happen before adderall, too. I've just became more paranoid about everything. When I spoke about my comedown feelings to my doc, he suggested I just take 2 in the morning and one in the noon... wut. He said maybe I can try anti-depressants if that doesn't work. But that sounds like a bad idea :( Also becoming pretty anti-social. Can't stop grinding my teeth. If I don't get my shit together in a month my relationship is doomed. Halp ;_; | meds making me a bit crazy. Anyone have similar experience? words of encouragement? Ideas? I also don't want to get fat. I'm just such a mess mentally. Help. |
t3_p6lvq | AskReddit | Finding Porn on a Teachers Computer | So here's the story. I take a computer class that is pretty laid back. For the last 2 or so weeks this external HD has been plugged into my computer. My curiosity overcame me today, and I decided to look around on the drive. I found a few amusing videos of other students (It's a video production class) and while watching a video one of the 2 teachers in the class asked me what I was doing. I told him and he said, "Oh thats {Teachers Name}'s Drive" and walked away. Continuing to look around for more funny stuff I found some wedding videos, a few pirated games and other misc stuff. Finally I came accross a folder called "Bittorrent". I opened it up and inside was tons of porn. I mean tons. The folder was about 10 gigs in size. It had pictures, lots of videos of people in cars. Being in school I closed it rather fast, but am left not sure what to do about this. I don't want to report him, but I don't think I could ever look him in the face again. What would you do? | I was looking on a HD that had been left in a school computer for awhile and found lots of porn. I later found out It belonged to one of the teachers. What would you do/How would you handle it? |
t3_34sr3r | offmychest | I kissed another girl last night, and I feel awful. | I (18 M) have been dating this girl (18 F) for around 5 months, but about 2 weeks ago we moved to different states and started a long distance relationship. I have never had a girlfriend before, let alone a long distance one, so this was a completely new experience for me.
We had initially decided we would end the relationship before the move. However, she changed her mind and convinced me to give a long distance relationship a shot, so I agreed. She is an amazing person so I figured that I should at least try this for her, even though it goes against my initial instinct.
Since moving, things haven't been going perfectly. I care about her very much, but I have realized over the last couple weeks that a relationship is not what I want in life right now. She feels quite strongly for me, so I wanted to give the LDR a chance for her sake; however, I have been contemplating breaking up. I just haven't really figured out the best way to do this, without hurting her too much.
Anyway, last night I was at a party and got very drunk. I ended up hanging out with a girl that I have some history with in the years prior to meeting my current girlfriend. One thing led to another, and we ended up kissing for about 2 minutes.
I now feel absolutely awful. I truly care about my girlfriend, even though I have not been totally happy in the relationship, and now I have betrayed her trust. I very much regret my drunken decision, but I know I now must live with this. I guess the right thing to do at this point is to end the relationship... I just wish it didn't have to end in this way.
Anyway, I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. I feel terrible right now about this whole thing. | Have been dating a girl for 5 months, we moved away from each other 2 weeks ago, I got really drunk at a party last night and kissed another girl. |
t3_4yi7zd | relationships | Me [33 M] with my wife [32 F] of less than a year, I'm already resisting urges to cheat. | Throwaway account, because I'm not risking it.
My wife was my first and only girlfriend, and also the only woman I've ever slept with.
I know it's really messed up, but even before marriage, I found myself having urges to cheat. Honestly, it's part curiosity and part lust - my wife isn't ugly but also not what people would classify as hot. And I keep wondering how it feels to bed a really, really hot woman, and also a desire to want to experience at least having slept with more than one woman in my lifetime.
Sometimes I entertain the thoughts of simply hiring an escort to get it over and done with, but that's still cheating... and I worry that it might start me down a slippery slope instead of being a one-off thing. Also STDs.
We're both really happy in our marriage, so this isn't about me feeling like straying because the marriage sucks or the sex sucks. I really love my wife and don't want to cheat on her, but I can't make these thoughts go away.
I'm currently dealing with this through inaction (not doing anything about the urges) and occasionally surfing porn and jerking off to fantasies of being with those hot women.
Sometimes I think this is all because I missed the boat on sleeping around before getting into a relationship, but we don't get to choose when we meet the right one.
Any advice? Separating just to satisfy the urge is off the table for me because I really love my wife. At this point I've mentally boiled it down to A) hire a hot escort to "get it out of my system", or B) live with this suppressed urge the rest of my life.
Neither is desirable, but I can't find a way to get rid of the urge. | I'm married to my first love / sexual partner, never got to experience bedding a hot woman, trying to resist urges to cheat just to satisfy this curiosity. |
t3_4ac6ne | relationships | Why does he [40M] act like my [31F] BF? | I've been seeing a guy for about 9 months. In the beginning, it started out as casual, but he started acting more and more like my BF after a couple of months. Soon I was spending a lot of time with him. I'm sleeping over his place all the time. He's planning things for us to do together during the holidays. He has never disappeared on me, even for a couple of days. He's never made me paranoid of other girls.
So after few months, I bring up the conversation that I'm developing feeling for him. If he doesn't want anything serious, that I need to move on. He never really gave me a straight forward answer on what he wanted, but he agreed to be exclusive. I guess it was my mistake of taking that as somewhat of a commitment...
Several months pass. Things are going great. But it really bothers me that he hasn't called me his girlfriend. I told him last week that if he can't give me the label, I'm done. He told me that he doesn't want anything serious. I told him I can't see him anymore.
Since then, he's been calling me to see him. He wants to talk. But I told him if it's not to tell me he wants me to be his girlfriend, then I don't want to see him.
Am I being unreasonable here? Sometimes I feel like, I'm completely satisfied with the relationship, why I making this whole label issue a big deal. But at the same time, if he cares about me, shouldn't he give me this little thing that I want... to make me feel secure? | Guy treats me like his GF, but doesn't want a relationship. Still is bugging me. What should I do? |
t3_2avqa8 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [33 F] of 3 months has an old friend visiting soon and he has intentions to sleep with her. | My girlfriend has this best friend (Male) that lives out of state who will be visiting in a few weeks. He was originally going to stay at her place, but is now staying at his family's.
She has been married the last 9 years, almost finished with the divorce. She showed me a text from BFF last week that said something along the lines of "hope you'll make time for me while I'm in!! I can't wait to hang out ;-)"
Since then, I told her I don't feel comfortable with him staying at her place, and she has since said she told him it would be better if he stayed at his family's. However, with his date of arrival growing near, she is talking to me about going out with him and catching up as it's been a while.
So, earlier today, I expressed concern again that I don't feel this is a good idea, he is under the impression the divorce is finalized and she is a free woman. Then I blew up, said she better tell him she has a boyfriend. She did, and still plans on hanging out with him, and says she doesn't see an issue with this and he respects her boundaries. | Relatively new GF doesn't see a problem risking the relationship by going out with an old friend who has/had clear intentions of hooking up. |
t3_37ghrp | offmychest | My girlfriend(26f) if 5 years and I(26m) just broke up. I'm heartbroken, but even more than that I'm terrified of being alone. | Background: Met a girl senior year college, started dating, things were great, yada yada yada. After graduation, we lived apart for two years while I finished grad school. It was only an hour away so we saw each other as much as we could on weekends.
Fast forward. I finish grad school, get a job where she lives and was already working, and we finally move in together. Things start off well, but it was never really the same spark as when we first met. Granted I didn't think it would be immediate sexy times 3x a day, but it never seemed like we were really dating again. It was more like we were friends/roommates than bf/gf. We both chalked it up to getting to know each other again and getting used to living out of our parents house.
Thing is, it never got better. We had fun, and we were never (and still aren't) on bad terms, but she is the type that wanted to travel and live in other places and get a new job somewhere and start fresh. I wasn't willing to do that, and it's eventually what lead to our split on Monday night.
Long story short, my current situation leaves me alone in an apartment with a one-year lease beginning June 1st, in a city I'm not 100% familiar with, no family, and really no friends, since my two best friends had to move for work. I've never lived alone, I'm terrified of it. Sure, I know how to grocery shop and pay bills and that stuff. What I don't know is how to cope with the crushing feeling that I am terribly and completely alone. For two days I've done nothing but lie in bed, I haven't eaten because it makes me sick, and I've cried harder than I have since I was a kid. At this point I don't know which way to turn.
Thanks in advance, but I'm not looking for advice, I'm not ready to let myself move on just yet. I just needed to tell someone. | girlfriend of 5 years is leaving. Stuck in unfamiliar city with no friends and family. Having trouble coping with complete lonliness. |
t3_37uqt1 | tifu | TIFU By Not Checking The Mail | Let me start by saying, this week I fucked up. All week, I have been going through the normal daily routine. Work, Home, Sleep. Each night that I got home, I noticed a flyer in our mailbox that I continued to ignore as I knew I was just going to throw it out any ways.
Today, I my wife decided to grab that flyer on her way in from her morning walk. This flyer crosses every line imaginable, and some local news agencies have even reported on just how far people believe that this organization has gone.
You can find the article [HERE] The flyer can be seen at the bottom of the page *warning graphic images*.
Last year, my wife and I went through a few ups and down. In August, we found out that we were having a baby! After doctors appointments, hearing the heartbeat at ultrasounds we couldn't have been more excited. Unfortunately, 5 months in we found out that our baby was not progressing as expected, and shortly thereafter the heartbeat stopped.
My wife and I were devastated to say the least. The process of 'cleansing' the body at any stage of gestation is never fun, and it takes a serious toll physically, and mentally on a family. **This was the worst week of our lives.** My personality is one that is very optimistic, and as much as this experience hurts me, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. My wife on the other hand, tries to be optimistic, but often times can be overcome with emotion. Every day is extremely difficult, but each day gets a little bit better.
Today, when she opened this flyer in our mail. We were taken part to one of the darkest times of our lives. We are not crazy political people, but this flyer actually makes me want to vote for anyone but the organization behind its distribution. They crossed a line.
Thanks a lot to CLC and the Conservative party of Canada for taking us back to the worst part of our lives, and making us restart a healing process that is still quite fragile. | If I checked the mail, I would have saved my wife from reliving the worst week of her life and having to restart a very fragile healing process. |
t3_330wq8 | relationships | Me [28F] with my recent ex boyfriend [28M] 1 yr together. Have I driven him to just give up? Is it weird if someone doesn't say they love you within a year? | My bf and I were together about a year. He is away for his job, and has been gone about three weeks with two months left to go. The last time he was out like this, the communication was excellent. This time, it has been like pulling teeth. I always initiate, he gives short replies much later. I brought this up, he offered to Skype, then didn't show up. Two hours late, offered no excuse and said we should do it another time.
I let it go. Sent him a really sweet message saying how much I cared for him, how he was worth getting through any distance, stuff like that. Not super lengthy, but decent sized. His response was merely, "Thanks." After that I felt dejected and decided to be patient with him and let him come to me. I wait four days and hear nothing. At that point, I'm upset, tell him I feel hurt and unimportant and ignored. He says he is just aloof and I need to be more understanding. No offer of compromise, just that I need to deal with it.
I ended up saying perhaps he needs someone more aloof, or I need someone more expressive. He said, "Maybe we should take a break."
I thought we had a good thing going. Perhaps I have been mistaken. I also told him a few months in that I love him, with no pressure. He has never said it in the year we've been together. He tells me he really likes and cares for me, but am I just barking up the wrong tree?
I love him, we get a long great, and I thought he was serious about me. Should I try or just let him go? He doesn't seem to want to talk. And I am hurt that I once again have to put in all the effort to communicate if I do try. | bf dumped me over communication needs. Also doesn't love me after a year. Should I try to work it out or cut my losses? |
t3_g8ggr | relationships | Did I give up too quickly on my ex? | 27/m, three months ago I broke up with my 24/f girlfriend of a few years. The relationship had simply run its course for me and would not have survived going any farther. She took this amazingly well at the time, I moved out, and we went our separate ways as strong friends.
Just days after breaking up, she confirms that she's on the proverbial prowl. This isn't entirely surprising given how her past relationships ended (including the one before ours), so I voice my concerns over this not only for her well-being (rebound relationships are bad for anyone), but my own feelings being hurt too. It felt disrespectful to our recent past to deal with her feelings that way. This doesn't go over well and after many similar conversations, I decided I could no longer be in contact with her if she was going to be doing that. She tells me how I'm "quitting her" like everyone else does (she never said anything this bad during our relationship) and, I assume, has either found someone already or is well on her way.
I've come to peace with the fact that I won't change her mind and her mistakes are her own no matter how much I want to help. But I suppose my question is whether or not cutting all ties until some point in the future is unreasonable on my part. I'm sure keeping constant contact would have made emotions linger longer than they have this way, but I feel like the friendship will be defunct because of this. I wish I could be there in some supportive way no matter what, especially since she seems to have never felt that from anyone before, but my feelings got in the way of that. I'm trying to move on as best I can, but unsure feelings keep cropping up. | My ex is looking for/in a rebound relationship immediately after ours and I feel like I've failed her. Have I messed up? |
t3_1xq6kp | cats | Embarrassing, no throwaway, no exaggerating. I just want to share what I woke to this morning and see if I am not alone (god I hope my cat is not the only one) | A small back story, my male cat (we've had since he was 2 days old, orphaned) was neutered at the time cats are suppose to be neutered. But he is still very frisky when it comes to some blankets and cat beds.
He sleeps in my arms, cuddled up like a baby, and sometimes he walks over my face to get into my arms.
BUT this morning, he lingered over my head. I was wearing an eye mask...but it wasn't like I could see anyway, I had full cat crotch in my face. As I slowly gained contentiousness, I realized that my dear cat had taken his mounting position on my face...what he normally saves for his blankets and pillows...WTF animal. | I'm pretty sure my cat tried to rape my face as I slept. Luckily I'm a light sleeper. |
t3_wludq | AskReddit | Have you ever had to shit/pee (or both) so badly but couldn't? What was the outcome? | I'll start with my example to get the ball rolling.I was out playing golf, but apparently had some bad food the previous day. As you know, in the middle of a golf course there are no bathrooms. I could feel the diarrhea and bile piling up in my sphincter and I started sweating profusely and getting nauseous, all the while forcing the blast doors to remain sealed. I started getting really desperate as I could feel the poo ready to pound it's way out with the force of a thousand suns if I didn't do something about it soon, so I excused myself and found a secluded tree where I unleashed a hell mixture of undigested green onions, meat, and rice. So fucking nasty, but it's hard to give a fuck when you feel that wave of relief coursing through you. I wiped with my boxers and tossed it to the side. | If you find a poo-crusted underwear at a golf course in Northern California, you can say you have met a fellow redditor. |
t3_4ln5hr | relationships | Is it my fault [26 M] my girlfriend [25 M] keeps losing her friends? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. We live together and spend a lot of time together. We wouldn't have it any other way. Our relationship is rock solid. She gets along with my friends fantastically, but the real problem is I've never seemed to get along so well with hers.
In college, she had a BFF she was inseparable from who didn't like me since day 1 of our relationship. As the relationship between my girlfriend and I grew, I felt her growing more and more distant from her college BFF.
Eventually, the college BFF started going out to parties or on trips and would exclude my girlfriend. I could tell my girlfriend was sad to be missing out, but I didn't think twice of it because I didn't know much about her or her friend group.
Fast forward to present day. My girlfriend has a high school BFF that she's still very close to. I've tried but have always found it hard to interact with her and the other high school friends because they still seem quite clique-y after all this time.
Now my girlfriend has started to feel excluded from her high school BFF and that group of friends as well. I can tell she's upset by how she checks social media and sees her old friends having fun without her.
I can't help but feel our relationship is what's causing my girlfriend to be missing out. What, if anything, can I do? | My girlfriend's losing her high school and college friends. I can tell she's confused/bummed out. Is it because of me? |
t3_3dchv9 | relationships | How do you stop relationship flashbacks? [29F] & [29 M], 6mo serious relationship post-breakup advice. | I have what my best friend calls "A case of the Desmonds," referring to "The Constant" episode of Lost, which basically means uncontrollable flashbacks to the relationship. We ended suddenly (without much provocation or explanation, after what was a serious-minded and forward-propelled relationship up until that point) about 2 months ago, when he broke up with me one day, telling me that he "couldn't see himself proposing to me, and didn't want to lead me on," basically out of nowhere.
In the last 2 months I have worked hard to focus on myself, to set in motion personal and career goals, to be the best "me" for both myself and any future partner. About a month in, I got to the point where I could go several days without crying at night, and sometimes a week or two. I could go days at a time without thinking about the breakup too much. But after all that, now 2 months later, I find that I can't control the relationship flashbacks anymore. Every little thing reminds me of something, some tender conversation or some sweet moment, and my brain revisits it. It hurts; but like a car-wreck, I can't look away.
I feel like I spent some time building up a wall, only to have it crumble now in the most inopportune places. I'm not sure how to navigate all of these memories that pop up during my commute, a conversation with a friend, even a flirtation with a cute guy. My mother has always advocated "changing the [mental] channel," which works, to some extent. But I think my problem now has only been exacerbated by changing that channel too many times in the past 2 months, and now all the unpleasant advertisements have caught up to me (to torture the metaphor).
Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with these flashbacks? I think that when I'm in my 80's, I'll remember all those sweet things he said and did with great fondness, so I don't want to eradicate them from my memory entirely. I just want them to stop interfering with my daily life so much. | I am Lost's Desmond, and have uncontrollable relationship flashbacks that I'd rather not have. Advice for finding my constant? |
t3_4fi9t0 | personalfinance | (USA)(Housing) Feeling Ashamed Denied by 2 EQ points | Hello PF,
GF and I applied for an apartment together and I was hovering around a 555 CR on EQ, I applied for a Discover IT secured card to start rebuilding up to where I was hopefully and dropped the app on Friday, We applied for the apartment on Saturday
GF got a call yesterday saying she was applied no problems, I was however immediately denied.
GF is obviously upset I haven't talked to her about my credit rebuilding struggles because I'm embarrassed by it and I dont want her to think less of me, but after discussing it last night we have agreed to start being more open about personal topics.
Anyway I got declined because my score slipped to a 548 and it needed to be bare minimum 550, I'm disappointed obviously but it was my own doing. I tried to contact the rental office and offered a whole month of upfront rent (1K+) Plus adding a co-signer and she snapped back at me telling me that It wouldn't matter if I had a cosigner as I had to qualify on my own.
a few questions, Obviously I'm a high risk I understand that I attempted to counter it by offering more money upfront. But in this scenario what the hell is the point of a cosigner?
I'm looking to do a quick few point bumps as we're attempting to reapply to either that apartment complex (if they allow me to re-apply) or a brand new one we found, Should I just come in with a cosigner out the gate on the next application?
thanks | Got denied from apt complex because of 2 points, offered whole month upfront got turned down, Should I come in with a Cosigner on next app to ensure we get it? |
t3_lgj1p | AskReddit | Please help identify this 2D cartoon animation from the 80's | For five years now, me and my bro kept searching the net for this old cartoon we used to watch when we were kids.
I believe the cartoon is of east European origin made in the late 80's probably, maybe Russian?, Romanian?, Polish ? I really don't know, but what I know is I wasted hours, days, weeks, months, years trying to find at least the name of this animated cartoon, but I failed.
There were 2 main characters in the cartoon, a blue furry creature and an old long white bearded man who lived in the desert, in a cave like place.
This cartoon didn't make much sense, the blue creature used to pull out stuff from inside his belly, and did some rude gestures to the viewer making noises like (balak balak balak).
In one of the episodes the desert gets flooded, and some cars always used to rush to that desert honking all the way, it was totally RANDOM and POINTLESS but it was funny as hell. There were no conversations in this cartoon.
So I've decided to make a sketch of what I remember from it, with my brother's and friends' help.
Please, if you recognize this cartoon or have any information about it or its creators, please let me know because I am really tired of searching for it.
thanks for reading. | Searching for the name/origin of this cartoon, old man lives in desert, with blue furry creature who makes rude gestures |
t3_3a8l6j | relationships | My [24F] boyfriend [24M] of 2.5 years is not very verbally or physically affectionate. Any advice on how to come to terms with this? | Just to be clear, I have brought this up with him. He has certainly increased the amount he does things like tell me how he feels about me or initiating physical contact, but he can only go so far, and I understand that. He also expresses his emotions in more subtle ways: His gifts are always really thoughtful, he does a lot of favors for me, makes a huge effort in bed. We talked about it and he said it is because of being vulnerable and upfront with his emotions. Expressing these things with favors instead of physical contact or words allows him plausible deniability and doesn't leave him so vulnerable. I am grateful for the amount of effort he has put in to meet me halfway but I know that it will never be totally intuitive for him. For example, I might get flirty and grab his butt and he won't respond at all. I'll tell him something about how I feel about him and he'll respond with "That's nice. Thanks" or "Cool." He rarely tells me he loves me if I don't first, etc. and it can be hard to get past sometimes. It feels like he is a robot sometimes. In other ways the relationship is great. We have fun together, we trust each other, we can be honest about what we both want from the relationship, and we both do feel like the other person cares about us.
Has anybody had experience with a partner like this? How did you come to feel good about how they felt about you? | Boyfriend is not very verbally or physically affectionate. I want to learn how to be more okay with this. Has anyone experienced something similar? |
t3_511edr | relationships | My [14M] sisters [15F&16F] are cheerleaders and my brother [18M] is a QB for my high school. I keep getting asked by people at my school if I can get my big brothers & sisters to talk to them. How do I get them to stop | Hi everyone, I am sorry to bother people with this but I need some advice.
My family is talented and I seem to be the odd one out, I have yet to find what I am good at. So far it seems I am a human calculator because I am really good at math, but it's as my dad says it useless for the real world. I was good at martial arts but mom does not want me getting punched anymore after I got an concussion.
So I started my freshmen year, my two sisters are sophomores and my big brother is a senior. My siblings are normal, we never have any problems, we fight some times but never anything horrible. My sisters and brother showed me around school and they talk to me while we are there, my brother drives us all home at the end of the day.
Now my sisters to come off as b**** to some people, most people except me and my brother. But all my siblings are popular and I guess by default that makes me popular.
My sisters are cheerleaders and my brother is the quarterback for my high school. My first week at high school I had both Male and Female students approach me.
I thought I was going to make friends, but these people only cared if I could get my big brother and sisters to talk to them. When I say "No, Talk to them yourselves. They won't kill you" they get all mad and walk off. If they can talk to me they can talk to my brother and sisters.
This happens almost on a daily basis and most of them only know me because I am known as the kid brother. What can I do to get this to stop
Plus if my brother and sisters wanted to talk to them, would they not be talking to them already? | People are always asking me to get my big brother and sisters to talk to them. How do I get this to stop |
t3_2nzcz1 | relationships | Me [23 M] with every woman I truly like [22 F]. Can't handle rejections anymore. | Hey,
I got rejected once again and I don't know how often I can endure this... I am 23 and haven't had a real girlfriend yet (> 2 months). The girls I choose all turn out to be pretty insecure and don't know what they want, so they turn me down at some point. I have no trouble getting girls as I am a decent looking guy, but everytime I genuinely like a woman, it fails.
Usually it goes like this: I am interested in woman, ask her out, we go out and it goes great. This proceeds and we kiss/have sex and then suddenly it's off. By that time, I usually fell for her already, because it's very rare for me to find a woman I truly connect with. So they just don't have the time anymore or I get the "look..." talk. Once a woman told me "I only used you". Ouch.. the hurt.
And while I can get girls for sex only, I really want a serious relationship at some point... And I don't know how to handle rejection after rejection when I already fell for her. It exhausts me, it breaks me and I lose all hope. I have no idea where I go wrong, but this is killing me.
I don't even know what I'm asking for, maybe just kind words to get me through this. It's awful. This story has happened at least 5 times now in the last 3 years and I just can't do it anymore. I just want to give up already. It hurts so much and I cannot understand how this is never working out for me. No matter what I do. | Hurt after rejection at the point where I genuinely care for a woman. Happens too often, don't know how to handle it. |
t3_v1pwf | relationships | hey reddit guys, can you get SO stressed out, to push the one you love away? | So, We're both 26 years old, we've been dating for 2 years now, and we were really happy. Since the beginning I noticed that he was kind of difficult to deal with (he's very temperamental and really bad at accepting critics) It didn't bothered me since the good moments are far more than the ones when he loses it. Lately he has been under so much stress at work, and we just don't talk anymore, and when we do he's always in a bad mood, I feel like he can't deal with a relationship and work at the same time, when we do speak he does it roughly, it's like dealing with a whole new person, he gets mad on every little thing and even proposed to break up "if I couldn't deal with him". He always apologizes later and says that he loves me, but still, now I don't know if he really wants to end it, or work is driving him insane. | boyfiriend going nuts over stress at work, still by his behavior towards me, I don't know if he still wants to be in relationship. |
t3_2h2mo3 | relationships | Parents said I [21 M] focus on looks way too much when I end up in a relationship. They said I need to look for good personality before I choose someone solely on their looks. How do I even begin to do that? | Wasn't sure where to post this, but my parents said every girl I've liked or dated has been pretty. They also added that they have never seen me crush/date on an "ugly" girl, and I need to stop being so shallow because I'm not all that good looking myself.
Okay, I understand that I'm not a model or super attractive, but how do people go out and become attracted to others from personality before looks? I understand it happens. I have had feelings for my female friends before that weren't "tens". Those girls just happened to not feel the same about me. No hard feelings.
But seriously, am I wrong here? I've never gone out and said to myself, "Ugh fuck that girl. She's not a 10. I'm only going to treat this other girl who is way more attractive better." I always end up liking people that I feel I have a connection with but some of them who I end up dating end up being really attractive.
Yes, if I see a cute girl, I'll go and strike up a conversation. But don't people need physical attraction as well as attraction to who that person is? That's what dates are for: to get to know that person. If a hot girl is mean, I'd choose the less attractive girl who was a genuine nice person over her.
I don't know, I keep racking no brain to what my parents said. How do I go and find a girl that has a good personality? If that makes sense. This is a mess of a question. | Parents think I'm a shallow asshole who won't date "ugly but good girls". How do I become attracted to a girl that isn't necessarily the best looking but has the best personality? |
t3_gblc5 | AskReddit | Reddit, what would you tell your 14 year old self if you could? | I would tell him that mistakes don't go away.
It seems like our society almost encourages us to screw up. As a teenager, I was expected to make mistakes, punished, but told not to feel very bad about it. "Don't worry, everyone makes mistakes". They tell you that it isn't the end of everything if you screw up, as long as you learned a lesson.
Bullshit. Screw around for a semester? There goes my childhood dream; my GPA is too low to become an astronaut. Have a few one night stands one "carefree" summer? Now everyone you know thinks you are a slut/player. You don't remember your first 2 years of college very well? Now all of your family thinks that you are an alcoholic. Screw up and get a minor charge on your record? Well good luck getting that job you wanted with the FBI, they won't even look at you.
If I could tell my younger self anything, I would tell him to treat making mistakes like herpes; you just don't get rid of that shit. Yes, your reputation isn't permanent, but unless you want to find an entirely new social group, you are stuck with everything you did when you knew you could get away with it.
The outlook is worse from there. Every time you accidentally miss a $14 credit card payment or two, you set yourself back in a horrible way. Maybe you picked the wrong major, and are now stuck with a mound of debt, and a shit job to pay it off. Long story short, don't screw around and be dumb because everyone else at your age is and every one is expecting you to. Cause you are probably going to lose the opportunity to follow your childhood dreams. | we are all expected to screw up as teenagers, even though we are fucking ourselves in the ass when we do it. And don't fuck that girl without a condom, even if she is on birth control. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.