id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 2
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.32k
| summary
stringlengths 70
278
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_wp378 | AskReddit | I'm afraid I'm losing a best friend and I'm not sure what to do. | Over the past year a lot of stupid drama has happened (senior year in High School) that has resulted in me losing at least 2 friends (one of which was a close friend) something that has further raised my insecurities of losing friends. This leads us to my current situation which is that one of if not my very best friend as of lately has not been acting like a normal friend. She recently went through major breakup with her BF (they had been dating for a year) and I would blame that if it wasn't for she started acting weird about 2 weeks before the breakup. Every time I talk to her she always says that we're not going to stop being friends and that she really values me as a friend (The first time I talked to her she actually started crying because she felt bad). I honestly thought that our little talks got through to her but after the past few days it appears that they didn't and it really has me worried. I'm going to talk to her later today about it or at least try to (lately if we hang out she refuses to just hang out with me, there always has to be a 3rd person). | I feel like my very best friend is slowly slippling away from me and even though I've talked to her about it before we keep slowly drifting apart |
t3_2sodit | relationships | SO (m24) called me (f21) his ex's name last night. | Hopefully this won't get too big since I don't want to make a throwaway. A little bit of background: I met my SO two years ago and we dated for around seven months before he cheated on me and left me for a girl, lets call her Kat. My name is nowhere near that. I started dating someone else for close to ten months before it ended. Kat and he dated for a year before they broke up and shortly after he and I reconnected for both being lonely after getting out of more serious relationships.
Its been about five months since we rekindled things and for the most part they have been open but with honesty to them. For instance, if he were to see someone else, I'd know about it and vice versa. For the last month we have been exclusive due to being too busy to see others and life issues getting in the way.
Last night was a normal hanging out night where we had the usual dinner and cuddle before going to bed. I typically go to bed the same time as him, but due to some back pain, I woke up several times in the night. Two of the times I woke up (and I remember everything due to the back pain keeping me lucid) my SO called me Kat and asked what I was doing. I'm not sure if he was sleeping or not, but seeing it happened twice, I am very concerned. Last time we spoke about exes he mentioned that he still missed her.
I didn't say anything to him because I honestly don't know what to say. I acted completely normal in the morning but I haven't been able to shake the memory out of my head.
Any advice on how to talk about this with him? Am I just being crazy or is this the red flag I'm thinking it is? Any advice would be appreciated. | SO called me the name of the girl he cheated on me with and left me for but hasn't been with in six months. Haven't a clue what to do. |
t3_4clvgq | relationships | Me [Late 20's F] with my dad [60's M] and family, my dad has asked me for money multiple times recently. I don't know how to keep saying no. | Throw away for obvious reasons.
I am late 20's, living with my SO in a house about 5 minutes from my parents. I don't want to give too many details because I have family on reddit. Basically, my father has asked me for money multiple times. My SO is very against lending money, even to family. I am at a point where I have some money saved, but have no guarantee of ever getting money back from him if I lend it. I, too, am not thrilled about the idea of lending it in general.
Recently, most of the amounts have been minimal. Maybe a couple hundred at most. Today he emailed me asking for a much larger sum (thousands) for matters that I am not involved in and don't include just him but other family members. He is saying he'll get the money back within the next few months but I just don't want to lend such a large amount, or anything even remotely close to that amount. How do I respond to him? He's been a good father my whole life and has worked really hard to be able to provide for us. I want us to be able to count on each other, but I feel like every other week he's asking me for money and now it's a LOT of money. Please help, reddit. | Father has been asking for small amounts of money, recently asked for much larger sum. I don't feel comfortable. Please help. |
t3_2cid35 | relationships | I [24 F] am breaking up with my boyfriend [28 M] of 4 years and everyone is second-guessing my reasons. | My boyfriend and I will have been together for 4 years in August. Recently, we've hit a rough patch and I finally told him what I've been feeling for at least a year: I don't know if this relationship is what I want anymore.
I still feel very young even though I've supported myself and been independent since I was 17. I feel like I haven't had time to figure out exactly what I want in a relationship (or if I'm even the type of person who can commit to a single person.) I feel like our relationship is missing passion and desire and that we are friends who love each other but I, at least, am not in love with him. I think I owe it to myself to finally be emotionally independent and stand on my own two feet. There is so much I want to do and I cannot help but think that to marry him (or even just continue this relationship) would be to 1) lie every day about being 100% happy and 2) do a disservice to us both. I can't help but think that I am missing out on so much purely because I've settled down too soon. I feel like I've been safe for too long and I want to finally start to live without obligation.
My mother told me that I've made a mistake. She says that I won't ever find a guy who is as kind-hearted, generous and loving as my boyfriend. Maybe she's right, he is a special person, but is that a good enough reason to stay with someone? Shouldn't I be with someone because I love them and not because he's a good caretaker? Am I totally naive to think that there's someone(s) out there who completes me and I need that more than I need a steady, safe partner? | My relationship of 4 years is fizzling. My boyfriend is an amazing person but am I naive to think that there's something (not necessarily someone) better waiting for me? |
t3_44nbl8 | relationships | My [22F] ex [27 M]'s nasty GF ruined our relationship. We broke up. I can't help but feel she won. | Don't know where else to put this. Feeling extremely crummy. Bear with me.
My first BF ever [27M] dated a girl [27F] for 5 years from high school to college. They had the same friends, so hung out in groups quite often, even after their breakup. When I first dated him, he and his ex were constantly chatting on GoogleChat and Facebook, sharing personal stories and yes, even relationship troubles. My ex said she was the "only person who truly understood him," since they've dated 5 years.
WTF, right? I was insecure for the longest time. I finally had the chance to meet his ex, and it did NOT help. She was an egotistic bitch who
1. Did not return any of my smiles
2. Purposely did not include me in group conversations
3. Dropped not-so-subtle hints about her and Ex's past, as well as her high school achievements (which were 10 fucking years ago, good grief)
4. Unconsciously stared at my ex throughout the evening with a longing look on her face
For being such good "friends" and chatting with my ex often, she never liked any of our photos together. If that's not the biggest red flag there ever existed, I'm not sure what is.
I talked it over with my BF at the time, and he agreed to limit contact with her and deleted her off Facebook. She of course still sent him emails inviting him to group events, replying almost instantaneously whenever he did.
Well, BF and I finally broke up. I'm sure the fact that I forbade him from talking with his ex had to do with it partly. 2 weeks after the breakup, I see he's added her again on Facebook, and no doubt is chatting away like the old days. I'm sure she's ecstatic as hell. | BF's ex-GF who still pined for him has been a toxic presence during our entire relationship, and now after our breakup, they are friends again. She's clearly won. How do I feel less like a loser? |
t3_129kpk | relationships | How to tell a guy I really like that I'm not ready? | I just got out of a 3 year relationship, 1 year of marriage, at the beginning of june. I was single for a while, then met a guy on OKC. I had sex with him the first time I met him, which is against my personal moral standards.
Thankfully, I'm on birth control because I told him to put a condom on, but he didn't, then he refused to pull out. I'm kind of pissed about the whole thing. Not only that, but he keeps insisting I call into work for him and gets upset when I don't text him all day because I'm at work. I work at a call center and can get fired for having my phone out. I also get 10 min breaks, which require going up and down 6 flights of stairs. Doesn't leave much time for texting.
I'm really into him, but I feel already like he will be clingy and controlling. My ex was mentally abusive. It's really difficult for me to trust and I'm very wary of men. I just have all these red flags and alarms going off in my head. I just don't know how to tell him.
He expects me to hang out with him on all my days off and gets extremely depressed if I hang out with my girls instead. On the first date he mentioned wanting to get married and having kids and said several times that he loves me.
What do, Reddit? | met boy on OKC. Don't think I'm ready to date. Lots of red flags going off. Don't know how to tell him I'm not ready. |
t3_2xzmn8 | relationships | 27/F in love with an addict 27/M | I guess I'm just looking for support. At first I wanted to ask you all what I should do, but I already know I'll be told to break up with him. We've been together for 3 years. Living together 1 year and 3 months.
He's a recovering heroin addict. He's had one relapse (that I know of) in the last 18 months. Even when he is clean and following his program, I create scenarios in my head and convince myself he's using. I caught him using in the fall, and since then it's been extremely difficult to rebuild trust.
But lately, he's been so unreliable that I know it would be best if I broke up with him. He doesn't answer his phone, doesn't come home when he says he will. I can't count on him to be somewhere when I need him to be. And there's always an excuse. Dead phone, lost phone, dead car battery, gets lost (we live in a new city), forgot something and had to turn around to go back and get it.
At this moment he is MIA. Phone is ringing but no answer. He left this morning and told me he was on his way home this afternoon. I told him I would be out for the day, and I come home at 6 pm and he's nowhere to be found. And I know he's going to come home with an amazing excuse, I used to believe every story. Now I can't even believe him when he's telling the truth.
I'm just so tormented. We've put so much work into this relationship. We've built a new life together, I've been by his side through the hardest parts of his recovery. But now I feel like I'm the only one trying to make this relationship work. I'm already heart broken. I want this relationship to work so bad, I want to be with him. We've made it work before, but here we are again. We used to be so happy.
Please help me.
I should add that I go to NarAnon meetings but I really dislike 12 step programs. Another important issue is dead bedroom. I'm HL and he barely has a sex drive. | He's a recovering heroin addict but trust is ruining our relationship. I'm ready to leave, but don't want to. |
t3_4cayz5 | loseit | Which gets burnt first. | I apologize in advanced because I feel like this question is asked a lot but I can't find anything on it in the FAQ.
Started Dieting on new years, started at 6'0/m/260Ibs. Currently at about 236. No exercise though, all diet. I'm not necessarily expecting to see progress yet, but I did expect to feel slightly different. Skipping to my question, Is fat or muscle burned first? My diet is 1600 calories a day ( I'm sure that's too low, but I'm not sure.) I was a regular lifter/ football player all 4 years of High school (graduated last year) and have been busy and not had time to work out so I'm worried I'm loosing the muscle I gained. I know I've lost some from not working out (at least my maxs have gone down.) but am worried the diet is eating my muscle rather than excess fat. | which is burnt first on a diet that uses no exercise other than some push ups and walking about the town. Muscle or fat. Inb4 "It depends" |
t3_no0ls | self | Another theft post (x-post from Ask) | Cross post from askreddit, probably should have put this here. Here's the story:
My car got broken into last night outside my apartment. It auto locks whenever my keys get a few yards or so away, and I didn't go back to my car so it's safe to say that my car was locked when I went to bed. I woke up to have the following stolen from my car:
~$20 in change in a plastic cup
an old 40Gb iPod
an 80w JBL system amp
a McPherson 4.0 acoustic electric ($5000 - $6000)
a Tom Anderson crowdster ($2500)
I've already filed a report with the police, maybe it will do some good. They said they will request more information some time next week. I've also spoken with my insurance company, and I could possibly get them to cover some of what was stolen with my $500 deductible of course.
I've begun to call pawn shops in the area. Both of these guitars are rare and unique, but there are SO many shops, just in this area alone. I live in Calhoun, GA, with the cities of Rome, Dalton, and Cartersville in the immediate vicinity, and Atlanta down the road. I loved these instruments, and will look for them for a very, very long time. Any suggestions on what else I can do? | My guitars got stolen from my car last night [locked vehicle], live an hour north of Atlanta, what can I do? |
t3_3lww6e | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend? [17 F] Been seeing a girl for about 3 weeks how do I ask what we are? | I am a freshman in college and so is she. About 3 weeks ago she asked me to go to a party and we hooked up (kissed and danced) for a couple hours.
The next week I lost my virgjnity to her (I do not believe she was one). She did it again the week after and I have been constantly hanging out with her like going to dinner and holding hands and kissing her and watching movies, how do I ask what we are? Do I ask her to be my gf? College is about having fun at least our first year but I feel like we have a connection. What should I do? | Had sex with a girl a couple times and hang out how do I ask what we are/should I just ask if she wants to be my gf? |
t3_2ezcfd | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] for 3 months, I am getting jealous | Background: she dislikes jealousy very much and it is a deal breaker for her. She has been friends with this guy for a long time.
She had a dinner planned with one of her very good friends (a guy). She texted me recently saying she'll call me later because her friend is still over at her place (it's been 5 hours since dinner). The time is still going and I am starting to feel uneasy about this. I trust her but at the same time my mind is getting filled with all of these thoughts (also because I was on the other end of this once). I also feel like he'll ask to stay over because he lives out of town.
If she tells me this I don't know how to react. I don't know how to deal with this because I can't talk to her about it and I know if this was a girl and not a dude I wouldn't care. I am feeling terrible at the moment and I don't know how to deal with it. | Girlfriend has a very good guy friend that is at her place for a while now. He might ask to stay the night. I don't know how to react to any of this without seeming jealous. |
t3_3qz0yr | Advice | Comcast $450 doesn't care, is it fair? | So, like a good little Comcast customer I pay my bill on time for a year or so were I live. (Ive had Comcast at other houses for years.) I go to add TV to my existing account, they want me to pay $450 just to add TV. Naturally I want to talk to a manager than after 15mins of run around I'm offered wireless to the account which I decline. Transferred to yet another rep who tells me that I should get satellite which I decline. Then to another rep where I finally threatened to terminate my service, which is taken unsympathetically. Lastly I'm told that my account would be reevaluated in 9 months for the possibility of not having to pay this nonrefundable $450. Where I live there is basically AT&T and Comcast. I have internet and I guess an unused landline because it was cheaper that was for the internet. | tough guy Comcast wants 450$ just to add TV, would rather lose customer than wave a ridiculous fee. Than offers unwanted wireless service, and dish at a lower price. As an attempt to remedythe situation. |
t3_275v2r | relationships | Why hasn't this girl [22 F] mentioned her boyfriend to me [25 M]?? | About a month ago I met a girl at a bar outing with mutual friends. Went out with her once about a week later and it went great. Great conversation, helds hands, kissed on cheek. We talk on the phone and text often. I was out of town for work for 2 weeks after that and I get a text from one of the mutual friends that she has been talking/seeing another guy for about 3 months before me. Says theres no label on it, but spends plenty of time with him. Although pretty angry, I didn't overreact as I just met her and don't really know the situation. Supposed to go out with her in a few days again, but not sure if I should call her out or not? Why would she not reveal this? | Girl I believe is really into me, might be dating someone else already, but hasnt revealed it to me. Have a date soon, should I mention it or play cool? |
t3_nyaal | AskReddit | I need some advice | So here's the story:
Back in August '10 I met a guy through Match.com. We talked awhile and planned to meet when he was home in December (he is in the Marines). Unfortunately he couldn't make it home then and it was called off. Here's where it does get really stupid. Fast forward to May '11. He starts talking to me again on Facebook, tells me he's at home now and asks me if I would like to go out somewhere. Why? He has a GF and isn't sure if she's right for him. I should have said no right then and there, but like a complete idiot I agreed. Anyway, we go on the most awkwardly uncomfortable date ever. Find out a few days later through a status update on FB that he "Had a great time with his GF" meaning that he didn't choose me over her. I confront him, he says he'd still like to be friends, yet deletes me off of FB.
Fast forward again to Sept. 20. He messages me on FB saying he knows that he's probably not the person I'd like to talk to but he asks for a second chance. I message back, tear him a new one and he apologizes for hurting me and blah blah blah. He's now at home on pre-deployment leave. He's going to Afghanistan for about 7 months.
We've been talking lately, and honestly I think I'm falling for him again. He wants me to come hang out with him before he leaves, but I'm sick and it's just not going to work. I'd love to hang out with him, but there's a part of me nagging away that I just shouldn't bother. If my friends knew that I had feelings for this guy again, they'd flip their shit. Last night he also hit me with the possibility that he might not make it back. That killed me inside a little bit. | I think I like this guy that I shouldn't give two shits about. He's being deployed for 7 months and might not make it back.I don't have a clue what to do. |
t3_4yx2lt | relationships | I [23f] don't get as excited to see my boyfriend [23m] (6mos.) as he does me. Is faking how much I miss him the same as leading him on emotionally? | My boyfriend just gets a little more excited and sappy about seeing me after being apart a couple days/weeks. I think part of it might be that I have a more fulfilling social circle than him so my time never feels very empty.
But I admit he's a little more affectionate all over. I try and match him or go out of my way to do nice things for him so he doesn't feel bad that I don't have similar needs.
I'm just worried I might be making him feel safe to emotionally invest sooner than he would if I was more laid back. He's started moving kind of faster than I think is normal and don't want to be sending signals. I don't know enough about him to be talking about weddings and baby names just now! | I match my boyfriend's level of affection even if I don't feel it and am worried I'm sending signals I'm ready to move faster than I actually am. What do I do? |
t3_rm48m | AskReddit | Why is the US media steering everything towards social issues (ie. Trayvon) when there are bigger problems to deal with? | I feel like I am an above average educated individual(not necessarily true) who knows a little about public media. I just want to know why things are getting so astray in this country?
Everything has to do with race or sexual tendencies and we don't seem to care at all about how to survive this weak economy.
Like in the Trayvon debacle. The media has instantly turned this into a black/white race thing. From what I have heard/ saw, Zimmerman is Puerto Rican..... which means it is not a white/ black thing at all. Problems between races are happening every day through gang violence across the country but no one seems to want to try to fix that problem. Why can't we just deal with this as a regular case and move along. Zimmerman killed him, he deserves murder 3 at most. Try him and move on. Don't try to push for murder 1 like Casey and let him walk.
Next, I don't care one bit about who is allowed to marry who after the next election. All I want to know is that I will have a reasonable chance to find a job in my field of study. I don't want a guarantee just a good chance to prove to a company I'm qualified. Also I want to try to buy a house or make an investment without being ripped off.
It doesn't help that I tend to be slightly conservative on most issues but I am seriously ashamed of the idiots the republican party is trying to pass off as candidates.
So why do "news" outlets care so much about such meaningless things? Am I missing something? | Why does the media focus on such petty social issues when the US economy is the worst in years and isn't turning around very quickly? |
t3_3rkdmd | relationships | My (F27) daughter (F5) is being ignored by her classmates and it's breaking my heart | Hello reddit. First of all my daughter Nim is a bright child. We raised her in Dubai where her dad worked and we recently moved back to our country last April. She speaks fluent English and can hardly speak this country's language, but she's trying really hard.
Now, in Dubai we were always at home, or at the mall together, there arent really any child around the neighborhood that she can play with (there was an Egyptian kid next block but she doesn't speak English).
So you see, she was extremely excited to go to school the first few days, she was really anxious to make friends since there wasnt any back in Dubai. Now it's been almost 5 months but she hasn't made any. She tries so hard to communicate with them but most of them treats her like she isn't even there. I drove her to school today and she bumped in to two of her classmates, she said hi to both of them gleefully, three times coz she thinks they did not hear her but these kids are just really ignoring her. It breaks my heart to see her try to make friends and the kids are just plain rude to her.
How can I make her feel better? She doesn't complain about this but when I ask her if she still likes school she says not really. I know this is the reason. I would like to think it's the language barrier but these kids knows english, it's even a school policy to speak English in and out of the classroom. We speak our native language at home so she can learn it as well. | kids in her school does not talk, play or even look at her. How can I make it better for her? |
t3_2dj891 | tifu | TIFU by wearing a tampon | So, there's this guy that I'm into and the two of us have been fooling around for about a week now. I told him I didn't want to have sex on my period. He didn't care, so he would often rub up against me and stick the tip inside, while I'm wearing a tampon. Last time we did this, I told him "I'm gonna be surprised if I don't lose a tampon before my period ends.." We just laughed it off as no big deal. Well, yesterday we were going at it, whatever, and after about forty five minutes I asked him to stop so I could make sure I still had my tampon in, well...it wasn't. I just said "Fuck!" and began trying to find it. (Very awkward task by the way.) After about thirty minutes and countless jokes he finally gets it (I was so relieved, I didn't want to go to the doctor and explain, and have to tell my parents.) Anyway, with that said, I decided to go to the bathroom to take it the rest of the way out, and I realized that I didn't need it at all, my period had ended. Needless to say, I was upset..many jokes are being made about it. Neither of us will let the other live this down. | lost my tampon while fooling around, got it after 30 minutes, turns out, I didn't need it. |
t3_vn6kp | relationships | Can someone please explain this to me? | 23M, her 21F, other guy 23
Ok, So basically last August I moved abroad for school and the GF split up with me, broke my heart, etc... I completely stopped talking to her.
So I'm moving back to my home town next week, and I get an email from my friend saying "hey I hope you don't mind that I'm hanging out with so-and-so a lot?" Referring to my ex-gf. I said "No problem, I don't care about her anymore." I assumed he meant as friends because I thought she still had a bf. I guess not.
Obviously I have a problem with this because he knows how much I cared about her. I mean, I don't want to get back together with her, and even if I voiced my concern, they're gonna do what they want anyway. The thing is, we wanted to be roommates when I get back. But I don't want to be roommates with the dude who's nailing my ex. I just wish he wasn't hanging around with her, because I wanted to be roommates, but I want nothing to do with that rotten bitch. Help. | Friend is hanging around with my ex. Wants to be roommates when I move back home. I don't like it. |
t3_2tx0w6 | relationships | New roommate [20F] shaved her pubes & clogged our shower me [F20] and my roommates [20F;21F] unsure how get her to clean it w/o being rude | About two weeks ago a new girl, let's call her J moved into our student house as one of our roommates left school and was no longer living in the city. We had never met this girl before, but she didn't seem crazy, and we wanted our ex-roommate to sublet so that she wasn't losing all of her money so we happily let her move in. J is very wild, and there are obviously going to be issues in any household where one person joins a group of three very close friends. So ignoring any other issues, let's get to the main problem.
Yesterday (Monday) morning J took a shower, and it took longer than usual but whatever, sometimes a girl's gotta shave her legs, whatever. It wasn't until J had left the house and gone out for the day that we noticed that our shower was full of pubes. We have a bath tub shower and there were long pubic hairs all over the tub and walls. She had mentioned while drunk to us that she hadn't shaved in two months, so when we saw the hair everywhere we were very disgusted.
I tried to rinse the tub out without touching anything, but the tub was totally clogged, and my attempts were fruitless. The tub drain is set up in a manner such that it has a mesh catch underneath it, which doesn't allow long hair to pass through, so we normally pick the drain out, but none of us are comfortable picking out this girls 5 inch long pubes. Now our tub has a scuzzy layer of shaving cream and pubes all over it, and no one has showered in our house since the incident.
Since we haven't known her very long we are unsure of how to approach the situation without sounding rude or making her feel incredibly awkward. Is it just as easy as saying "Hey J, clean your pubes out of the tub, its disgusting" or what? | New roommate showered and got pubes all over the tub and the drain is clogged. How do we ask her to clean it out without coming off as rude? |
t3_1epplq | pettyrevenge | Extra Hot wanker | So i work in a well known chicken restaurant chain in england, and on a monday and tuesday two guys with down's syndrome work during the day shift. I suppose to give them a bit of money and something to do. They are two of the nicest people I know, and have such happy, nice personalities and wish no harm on anybody.
Well earlier today these private school toff assholes strut in, giggling about something. A coworker of mine heard them doing down syndrome impressions and obviously did not give a flying fuck if anyone around them could hear them.
So anyway they order their food and one of them orders an extra spicy burger. Well we SOAKED the bread in extra hot sauce, grilled the tomato in extra hot and basically made a burger so hot, he's gonna be shitting fire for the next week.
He didnt finish it, was all red and had tears coming down his face. We were all laughing as he left the restaurant full of shame. | Guy laughed at someone with down's syndrome, I make his food too spicy for him to eat, leaves embarrassed with all his friends and the staff laughing at him |
t3_19epdh | AskReddit | Just found out today that the guy who tried to rape me years ago passed away, and I'm struggling with mixed emotions. I'm wondering if reddit has any stories of deaths that they werent sure whether to be happy or sad about? | It was maybe 4 and a half years ago, I was a little shwasted, had a few beers, was smoking some bowls. I was about 15 and this guy offered me a pipe. It wasn't until a bit later that he told me there was heroin laced ecstasy. I definitely was feeling weird, and there was no way I could go home, so my "knight in shinning armor" decided to do me a favor and take me back to his house. I am just happy my dad taught me how to throw a punch. When we was telling me it was fine and I shouldnt worry, he was trying to rip my pants off. I punched him in the face, and ran away. I fell off my bike on the way home and fucked up my face, I'm just glad I got away. I am terrified of men larger than me whom I could knock down and carry pepper spray arround my keychain now as a precaution. | Almost got raped, punched him in the face, got away, dont trust men. Now hes dead.... how am I supposed to feel? Ive spent 4 years demonizing him.... |
t3_33tws6 | relationship_advice | [26/m] Please enlighten me where I go wrong because after 3 years, I am absolutely dumbfounded | To say the least, I've had a stretch of bad luck. From my perspective, it seems after college everyone grabbed the closest person they could find and burrowed away with them. And for those of us who are left, either no one trusts anyone- or they aren't ready- or they just got out of a long term relationship- or some variation of some bullshit.
I've tried online dating. I've tried approaching women in public places. And most of the time they don't lead anywhere, however, sometimes I'll get their numbers, we'll meet up, have a great time, go on A SINGLE DATE, where I thought we had an equally great time, so much to the point that I'll even get that post-date text saying how nice of a time they had. But, somewhere between the meet up, the 3 or 4-hour date of laughs and great conversation and the next day I drop the ball entirely apparently and I have absolutely no fucking idea why.
I'll shoot them a text the day after a date, or give it a day between, to strike up a casual conversation-- like the conversations these women and I have been having up until this point. And their answers are just short. Blatantly short. One word most of the time. I don't get it. I'm respectful. I flirt. I don't pressure ANYTHING. I'm witty, confident, good-looking. I'm not the pig that I hear women complain about all the time. But, yet it still gets me absolutely no where and I'm left feeling used for a free meal, despite the connection that seemed to be there. Could someone please enlighten me what the fuck I need to do. It's getting exhausting and honestly, incredibly hopeless. | Meet women. Get along really well with them. Go on a single date. Have a great time. Confirmed from them it was a great time. Then they are short and disinterested afterwards |
t3_4lz7e8 | personalfinance | My girlfriend's SSN is incorrect at Transunion and it is preventing her from getting a credit card. | Hello everyone.
So my girlfriend recently applied to get a Discover Credit Card specifically aimed at people trying to establish credit (we're both fresh out of college). When she applied, she was denied the card because her SSN she provided, according to them, was incorrect. They recommended she get in contact with TransUnion as that's where they were checking the information with.
So she contacted transunion and after many hoops we were able to figure out that the SSN under *her* name is actually her mother's SSN. We've tried multiple times to fix this over the phone, faxing the documents to transunion themselves, mailing, etc. today we received a letter saying that they received our documents but were unable to determine the nature of our request (changing the SSN under her name to the correct one).
So where do we go from here?
I'm confused how a SSN can be linked to two different names, but again I'm hearing all of this secondhand from her and am just trying to find advice anywhere I can think of. Has anyone here experienced a similar issue and resolved it?
Thank you. | Transunion has my girlfriend's SSN incorrect, used her mother's instead of her own. This is preventing her from getting a credit card. What can we do? |
t3_4hezsa | relationships | My [21 F] boyfriend [21 M] of over 2 years LDR visited me and my friends got mad at me | Hey Reddit!
My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship (1,000+ mi) for just over two years and he left today after visiting me for a month at college. I live in a dorm with three of my closest friends at school. He's visited me before (never this long) so they have all hung out together. In the past there have been pleasant times of hanging-out and some times of tension.
During this trip I could feel an increase in hostility towards my boyfriend with one of my friends and improvement in the relationship with another, but ultimately they felt like I didn't spend enough time with them in the month of his visit. I think their concerns are totally valid because I didn't-- I was spending more time with him. All of us did however hangout on several occasions at dinner, parties, and in our common space. I tried to include everyone in activities and I did some things separately with my friends, although not much as my boyfriend is new to my city.
One of my friends who was the most upset with his visit would act more hostile towards him when we all went out and drank and never talked to me about it sober. I usually spend more time with her in a given week because we have similar schedules so I understood that she was really missing out on the time that we spent together. But I don't think she was voicing her concerns appropriately and it made me feel really terribly about our friendship. They are also both pretty different as she's more reserved and he can be a little intense so this didn't help their relationship.
I'm trying to figure out the best way to navigate this situation without breaking myself trying to please everyone and without invalidating my friend's feelings. I value the relationship I have with all of these people but after this visit it made me think more about the relationship I have with this one friend. I don't think I would ever treat any of them the way they have treated me and I would never think of taking it out on their boyfriend if I was actually upset with them. Am I wrong to be upset with this friend? | LDR of 2 years visits me at school and my friends get upset not being able to spend as much time with me and take it out on him. How should I handle this? |
t3_14xlbs | relationships | I guess I'm supposed to read mixed signals?? (me: F22, him M23) | We've been together off an on for 4 years.
So I typically spend the night at his house, it's just become routine. This morning he went and did his thing (school work) and I went and did hw with a friend.
Afterwards I came home and called him. Small chit chat. I said it was cold at my house (it's absolutely freezing. Even with the heater on, a jacket, and two blankets it takes a while to get warm). He said it was cold there (not usually the case, his house is warm enough for me). So I sensed he maybe didn't want me to come over but didn't want to flat out say it. (I also have a tendency to assume the worst and act based on that assumption which makes him mad or annoyed). So I said I didn't want to come over if he didn't want me to, and told him to let me know when he wanted me to come over. He responded that he did want me to come over. So I went over.
We had some wine (I'm a lightweight).
A little while later he seems distant so I ask what's wrong. Turns out he didn't want me to come over.
We get into an argument/heated discussion because I said he could have said for me to not come over. He said I should have kept to my assumption that he didn't want me over. I said that since I have a tendency to assume the worse and can't always trust my assumptions, and since he said he wanted me to come over I thought that it was okay.
I also said that I'm a bit too tipsy to drive home, and that my house is super freezing (and takes forever to heat up).
Things clearly weren't getting solved so I drove home. | Assumed bf didn't want me to come over, mentioned it. He said he wanted me to come over, came over. Later he's distant cause it turns out he didn't want me to come over. |
t3_28fg82 | relationships | I [21 M] am having a hard time giving my girlfriend [21 F] the space she needs on our break. | Hi. So my girlfriend and I both have recently moved apart for the summer, She is 6 hours away for an internship, and I am home for the summer working and taking classes. We have been dating 3 years, but we started dating the first month of college and both have little dating experience. We were also each others first (not something that particularly matters to either of us anyway).
After recently turning 21, she told me that she needed some space apart this summer to try and discover herself a little more and feel some independence.
Now, during school we are a pretty clingy couple and spent a majority of our time together. We have both expressed the last year that we're interested in taking it further after college (marriage), and our families have flat out said they'd like to see us engaged. I think the main issues is her not so much just wanting to experiment with other guys, but a fear that she is just dependent on me because she is afraid of being alone.
I have a feeling that if I give her the space she needs, she will most likely come back to me. We are both really heavily invested in each other and I think she just needs to see that when she's away from me she'll realize just how truly important we are to one another.
The problem is, I can't help but smother her with texts and calls. I don't like feeling jealous, but it would hurt my feelings if she was messing around with other guys. I know she would hold no grudge if I did the same since we're on break, but I am having trouble shaking my jealousy issues. I know that if I can accept the temporary break, she'll come back to me and we'll be stronger than ever.
We have both done stupid things in the past (we've both made out with other people and done some flirting), but we always move past it because deep down we're both pretty in love. How can I get myself to accept this as the best solution? Thanks. I've just been struggling with it all and it feels good to talk about it. | Girlfriend of three years and I are apart for the summer. She wants to go on break to make sure she can stand on her own and isn't completely dependent. I'm having trouble letting her go |
t3_n8rsj | AskReddit | Help me Effectively Argue for a Grade | Hey all, I am an undergraduate student at Penn State. I am a hardworking redditor who feels like I deserve an A in this basic Human Development and Family Studies class.
Let me explain... I have received a 100, 94, 94, and 86 on the exams. The class is also composed of one-minute papers which are essentially little bull shit responses to questions that the teacher presents. In order to get an A in the class, I needed to receive 5/5 points for the final one minute paper. I received 3.
The question was simple: What did you like most about the class; what did you like least?
I answered: I enjoyed learning about adult development since I had not previously learned about that in my other developmental classes. I did not enjoy the section on infancy, since many other courses discuss this and students may find it repetitive and unnecessary.
You would think that since I answered the question that I would get full credit, right? WRONG.
I received this response from the TA when questioning the grade:
" It is stated in the syllabus "... to receive full-credit, students' responses must illustrate thought and depth". Because you only wrote 3 sentences and only answered the question, but not elaborate I could not give you full credit."
Essentially answering the question fully in three sentences is not correct, but writing a bullshit answer that is slightly longer is OK.
I am desperate to get an A in this course, but I am horrible at effectively arguing. I am hoping that one of my fellow redditors could suggest an appropriate response that could possibly change the TA's mind.
Thank you so much for your time! | Answered a question but didn't bullshit it, so I didn't get an A in my class...help me convince the TA to change her mind. |
t3_vymdp | relationships | SO has undiagnosed moderate/severe anxiety. How do I support him? | Me: 32/F, Him 43
My SO of 9 months has hereditary anxiety that had been severe and undiagnosed for 15 years. Both of his parents had severe anxiety that was never officially diagnosed or professionally treasured and was only ever addressed by self medicating with alcohol and drugs. His sister has been seeing a doctor for her anxiety for 10+ years and seems to be a fully functioning person.
SO has very poor sleep and is utterly exhausted all of the time. This frequently puts a strain on our relationship as he mostly only wants to sleep &/or relax at home. He turns to alcohol nearly every night to "help him relax" so that his mind can slow down enough for him to be able to sleep a few hours at a time.
I have voiced my concern 3 or 4 times about the self medicating with alcohol but don't want to push too hard and exacerbate his anxiety. I find myself feeling really agitated when the drinking starts and I don't like to be around him when he does drink because I get resentful and angry. I know that the drinking makes the anxiety worse but he is in denial about that. He is (was)convinced that it is helping.
So today he FINALLY admitted that the anxiety had become so unmanageable even with the "help" of the alcohol and he wants to get professional help. I cried tears of joy and promised that I would support him in his treatment. I suspect there will have to be a period of alcohol detox as I can guess that he will have some serious withdrawal.
I am struggling to find some type of support network for not only him, but for myself. Am I asking for trouble by staying in this relationship? Is it better or worse for him to be in a relationship as he gets healthy? Though I, in no way, want to, I am willing to walk away from our relationship if it will hold him back from getting better.
Thanks so much in advance for any encouragement/advice/tips. It's a great unknown for both of us but I have faith that he will find relief soon. If nothing else, thank you for letting me get this off my chest. | SO has severe anxiety that he finally wants medical/professional help with; I don't know how or if I should support him. Is it a bad idea for us to be together while he gets healthy? |
t3_1khhf1 | relationships | Will LDR work with no end date? | I've (25f) been together wit my SO (26m) for just over a year now, and we're reaching a point where I will probably have to leave the country (visa reasons) and he will stay. We are completely devoted to each other, and have discussed our future. The issue is neither of us an in a position to be able to feasibly take the next step. This is his home, I came to study. I'm concerned about LDR as i've seen what it has done to couples, and I don't want that to happen to us, especially since our relationship has been awesome till now and would probably be so if I stayed. Since i'll be going home, there's no time frame of how long i'll be gone, or i'll ever even be able to come back. Sure we might still visit each other and yes there is skype.... but is it really feasible to try **LDR** if its endless? It would leave us heartbroken if we broke up.
Should i give it a shot and see how it turns out? Or should we leave things in happy memories and try and move on? Thanks for all you're advice in advance! | Deeply in love but moving away, don't know when/if I'll return, is LDR worth a shot? |
t3_41rqi6 | tifu | TIFU by putting hydrogen peroxide directly into my eye | I woke up early for my 8am lecture than usual, so I thought I had the time to look a little nicer today, by which I mean, wear contacts instead of glasses. So I put my contacts in,but my left eye felt kinda weird so I decided to take them out, clean it and put it in.
Apparently I had run out of multi-purpose disinfecting solution, so I opened my new pack of solution, which turned out to be 3% hydrogen peroxide. I usually read all the warnings and directions, but this morning I was feeling good and skipped over that.
I thought it was a bit unusual that the bottle had a red cap that needed to be broken, but proceeded to open it, wash my contacts thoroughly with it, and fill the inside of the contacts with it.
I, then, proceeded to put the solution-filled contacts directly in my left eye and felt hell on earth.
I looked in the mirror, and my left eye was blazing red. I washed my eyes out with water and then found my contact on the ground.
Since I only had my right contacts in, my vision was blurry, and I was not down to take out my right one.
Not learning the first time, I picked up my contacts lense that had been in touch with the hydroperoxide solution, washed it with water and once again tried to put it in my eye, thinking it had washed out.
This time, the contacts actually went in and it was living hell. I don't remember doing it, but I ended up taking both of them out and finally decided to read what it said on the bottle and the box. Right at the top of the bottle, it said "DO NOT PUT DIRECTLY IN YOUR EYE." Even on the top inside flap of the box, too. The second bullet point under warning was "Never rinse your contact lenses with hydrogen peroxide solution before you put them in your eye." Of course, the one time I don't read warnings and directions, I screw up.
So after class, I went to Stater Bros and bought two big multi-purpose disinfecting solution so that I don't have to deal with the hydrogen peroxide solution, at least for now. | I didn't pay attention in chemistry labs, neither did I read nor follow directions, and put 3% hydrogen peroxide filled contacts directly in my left eye and experienced hell on earth. |
t3_31vv49 | relationships | Me [20M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 3 years, want to break up with her but don't know if its the right decision | Long story short, I have spent 3 years with my girlfriend, 2 of which were hell and consisted of her lying and going behind my back with her ex (never cheating, but might as well have). She finally came to her senses and cut all ties after I cut her loose for a few months last year. Every since we got back together, she has been everything ive ever wanted. She is gorgeous, she is down to earth, she is smart, she is caring, she is loving, and yet for some reason I just can't love her back. I spent so much of my time putting her on a pedastal while she ransacked our relationship that even now that she has done a full 180, I can't bring myself to care.
Im worried my 3 years will be spent in vain and her next relationship will reap all the benefits of my struggles. They will get to experience her for the great girl she is from the beginning without all the turmoil. I don't want to let go, but I think I need to. I just don't want to regret it. | girlfriend spent 2 years ruining our relationship, finally came to senses, now I don't know if things will ever be the same. |
t3_2imvtl | relationships | Me [22 F] with my ex boyfriend [22 M] of over four years. I feel incredibly pathetic. | So a few months ago I called our relationship off after four years. We've been no contact since. I still can't manage to get him out of my head. I find myself missing him all the time, wishing he would call me. I can't stop wondering if or when he will decide to contact me. When something exciting happens, or something stressful and terrible happens, the first person I want to talk to is him. I can't get him out of my head.
It is so annoying, and I feel so pathetic for missing him so much. I don't know how to get over it and move on. Or if I even want to move on. Or if I should contact him. I don't know. Ugh. Any advice at all from people who have gone through break ups after [fairly] long term relationships? | Four year relationship ended. Miss him terribly and am looking for advice as to whether I should contact him, or how I should go about moving on. Help? |
t3_3p4w00 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my male classmates [22-25 M]. Their envy is causing flare-ups. | Right off the bat, this isn't a humble-brag. I'm having serious trouble with the other Postgrads behaving wierd over my non-academic life.
There are ~50 postgrads at my college in Cambridge, of these, there are around 30 males. By virtue of my parents having a **lot** of money I grew up with great nutrition and playing a lot of sports, leaving me to be not only the wealthiest, but also the tallest and most athletic person out of the 30. Everyone is showing some kind of insecurity over this.
One spanish guy has talked non-stop for days about how I'm an attractive guy and has been putting himself down. Another arab guy got pissed when I said I had to leave for a date and yelled 'its not a competition bitch'. An Indian dude today got really heated today over the fact that there was an undergrad in the college taller than me. One dude on crew spent a half hour non-chalantly calling me an asshole and telling me I had an American Pshyco vibe.
How do I stop this? I already play down my parents wealth so much that it's ridiculous. | To quote the immortal bard, "They hate me cuz they ain't me". How do I stop them? |
t3_qz7mf | AskReddit | Trouble finding a base for a pitbull tattoo. Help? | I have a pink kitten tattooed on my left wrist, and I'd like to get a blue pitbull (as in the canine, not the Cuban rapper) tattooed on my right wrist, that is at least a little similar to my other one. I'm not having a lot of luck finding an image to work with that suits me, so any help would be appreciated. Here is my kitten tattoo:
(It looks a bit lop-sided, but oh well, I'm planning on going somewhere else for this one.)
What I'd like to keep in the pitbull tattoo is the 3/4 angle, and the vivid color. I'd also like the pitbull to look sweet or happy, as opposed to angry, like so many I'm seeing are.
I work at an animal shelter and feel strongly about protecting pitbulls from people, and breed specific laws. So, just in case you were wondering, that is why I want this tattoo, and it is very important to me.
Any suggestions on text to put above/below the pitbull is welcome, and any advice on how to get my already existing kitten tattoo properly touched up is appreciated, as well.
Thanks! | Want a pitbull (the dog breed, not the rapper) tattoo that has a similar style to this: on my wrist, having trouble finding a non-violent photo to work with. |
t3_3piulj | relationships | Me [23 M] with my [24 F] for two years, broke up and got back together and now broken up again, I need some advice | We've been together for two years, we had a pretty stable relationship from what I knew, until she broke up with me a month ago because she wants to work on herself and not rely on me for support.
After the break up we didnt talk for three weeks and after that was up, we kind of saw each other once in a while, until it kind of became a daily occurrence. We had a talk about it and I told her to just feel it out and see where it takes us.
After three weeks of being back together, one night she had those feelings of uncertainty, and realized that she was being a little mean to me, but I didn't notice it at all. She had to meet up with a friend and when she came back she pretended like nothing happened earlier.
The following day, I met up with her at her place and I wanted to talk to her about us and what is going on. She told me that we should see each other less, or these feelings of being stable alone wont go away because she has always relied on someone for support.
In the morning when I was getting ready to leave for work, we just sat there on her bed in silence, crying. We kissed each other good bye and I was in such a mess at work, so I sent her a text wanting to clarify things with her. She also wants the best of me not to rely on her for support, so we can be stable individuals, and work on ourselves.
I texted her that I'm not here to wait for her and she texted me thats why this is so difficult. And I tried to compromise with her but she tells me that wouldn't work because the conclusion is inevitable.
So we decided to set another three weeks aside and not speak until then.
I really love this girl and I feel so stupid of trying to go back out with her for a third time if this conclusion is always going to be like this. Is it even worth it? How is it even fair for me to be friends with her.
Do I love something and give it away again? I'm thinking of seeing my counselor again to talk about this. | GF broke up with me, didn't speak for three weeks, got back together, Broke up with me again. |
t3_22x79f | relationships | My GF [19 F] broke up with me [20 M]. Not doing so well. | My girlfriend and I were magic together. Like, we completely clicked when we met, and everything between us was incredible - even through fights, we came out stronger and had an awesome relationship.
About a week ago, she ended it because she has some emotional issues, and wanted time to herself to figure it all out. Thinking this would just be a small break, and would work out for both of us in the end, I agreed and gave her space. Turns out that she was hiding the fact that she had not been happy with *me* for quite a while. I was under the impression we were still gold. I had been kept in the dark.
so, tonight, the breakup was "official." She will be returning a few of my things tomorrow (she actually will not even do it in person, she's giving it to my roommate to hand to me). I feel like utter shit that I was with somebody who was lying to my face. I feel completely used. This level of unfair human treatment is totally new to me. I didn't know people could be so cruel.
And for the icing on this cake, I was fairly certain I wanted to marry her - yes, a year is a short time to come to this conclusion - it was just a thought. I wanted to date her for a much longer time and be sure. but I am almost certain that she would be much more than a girlfriend.
I have no clue how to handle this. I feel awful. I'm trying not to dwell on it because I guess I know a lost cause when I see one. I need to get better. | GF dumped me because it would be better for her. It is horrible for me. Need help moving on and getting better. |
t3_3lt9ek | relationships | Me [24F] with my girlfriend(ex?) [24 F] of 2.5 years are still living together, just signed a lease last month. She says she isn't happy and wants to see other people. | Well, it was actually cheaper and advised that only one of us put our name on the lease. Which is me. I cannot afford $1700 in rent by myself.
A little backstory: I woke up to my partners phone buzzing with and incoming text from some girl she's been talking to (someone I knew was going to be a problem... This girl was breaking up with her boyfriend and would text her all the time about wanting to start sleeping with women...) and I guess they've been talking, flirting, "you make me happy" "I want to fall asleep in your lap" whatever.
I'm reasonably upset, and she's like "Yeah, were breaking up. I'm not dumping you for this girl, but the thought of being with one person for the rest of my life is terrifying."
I am her best friend, and she is mine. I am her first long term relationship and we truly mean a lot to each other. Were in the same bed still, and cuddle through the night, and still laugh all the time, but her growing distance is eating away at me. This other girl- I don't know if they're still talking but social media likes are also hurting me. I just want to be with her.
We just made this beautiful home, moving in alone together from living with roommates. Again, she's not on the lease but promised she isn't going to bail.
But there's like 10.5 months left. And my family just bought us plane tickets to go visit next month. | My girlfriend and I broke up but are still livin together and want to remain close. Her pulling away is hurting me and we just started our lease. Need advice on how to handle all of this. |
t3_3t1jw5 | running | Check my logic but I calculated the chance a single ticket will be selected for the 2016 WSER100 | 3.13% chance a ticket will be selected in 270 rounds.
There are 3560 applicants listed in ultrasignup (this number will change but it is what I have today). Using the percent breakdown from 2015, I estimated the number of applicants are in each application year category (wser.org/lottery). Then using the 2^(n-1), I calculated there will be 9166 tickets in the bowl at the start of the process.
Year 1: 1981 applicants with 1981 tickets
Year 2: 890 applicants with 1780 tickets
Year 3: 390 applicants with 1561 tickets
Year 4: 189 applicants with 1511 tickets
Year 5: 79 applicants with 1266 tickets
Year 6: 33 applicants with 1066 tickets
From here,
I used the formula of 1-(n-# of tickets)/n for each of the 270 rounds (wser typically uses an expected draw of 270 wser.org/lottery). For each subsequent round I reduced the total number of tickets by 4 (using a weighted average for the ave year to be selected). So the odds for a single ticket to be selected in round 1 is .02182% round 2 is .02183%.
I then summed the percent chance of being selected in any round to find that for each ticket you hold you have a 3.1% chance of being selected. | using P=tickets/# of all tickets. The result is the % chance for each ticket for the WSER lottery. |
t3_3xa3wz | tifu | TIFU I forgot that CONCORD was a thing (EVE) | So I recently got into the MMO Eve online. In this game you spend your time flying around in spaceships doing whatever you want. The other day I caught up with one of my friends (got to the ship class that he is on, cruisers) and I have been spending a ton of ISK (the currency in the game) fitting my ship.
I decided to go out and find some NPC pirates in an asteroid belt so that I could test my fit and make sure that it was working as intended. I warp in on some asteroids in 0.7 space and see a bunch of dead NPCs. But just before I was going to jump out I realized there was a player mining away on some local asteroids, perfect opportunity to try out my guns! I open fire and kill him in less than a second, and thats when it hit me. I was in "Highsec", high security space, which means CONCORD (the in game npc police force) would be here any second to DESTROY me; and that they did. I was dead just as quick as the poor little miner, and I'm sure he loved watching it. I got podded and flew to a local station, which is where I currently am. Once the pirate timer runs out I am gonna grab a salvage ship and get whatever I can back. Oh yeah, and I forgot to insure my ship. | Flew into highsec space, forgot about CONCORD. Killed a mining ship, got killed by police. Bonus fuck up: Ship wasn't insured |
t3_195ehe | relationships | I [21] accidentally found pictures of a semi-ex on my boyfriend's [23] computer. | Some background info: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about nine months, but he was my best friend for about a year before that. He had a really rough time getting over his first ex and put off asking me out until he was sure he was over it. I live at his house with him and his immediate family. Our relationship is fantastic! We've both mostly had terrible experiences with previous relationships.
The situation: I was working on some homework on my computer and noticed that every computer in the house shows up under "Network" when I open "My Computer." I was curious about what this meant, so I clicked into my boyfriend's computer and found a folder titled "New Folder." Curious, I opened it up, assuming it would be game data or something similar. It ended up being a bunch of half-naked pictures of this girl he almost dated a few years ago. After that, I was even more curious and a bit confused, so I looked under his pictures folder and found another folder with the same pictures in it. My question is, do I tell him that I found this? I don't think he even remembers the pictures are there, and I'm fairly certain this girl isn't a threat to our relationship. | I accidentally found some pictures of a girl my boyfriend almost dated on his computer. Do I tell him I found them? |
t3_2ysqgq | relationships | Me 23F and my boyfriend 28M have been together 4yrs I want to leave him but I'm in too deep and don't know what to do... Need advice | First some backstory. We bought a house together 8 months ago, both our names are on the mortgage. We have a joint bank account and we file our taxes as married even though we technically aren't. We've lived together for 3yrs. I go to school and he works and makes good money.
He's a good guy and he's done a lot for me but I just don't love him. I never have. I hoped I would grow to love him but it hasn't happened. I can't talk to him at all. I've been depressed for years and been hiding it from the whole time. He says he just wants me to be happy and I can leave him any time but then he turns around and says he loves me more than anything and I'm all he has and he can't live without me. It kills me inside to think how much it would hurt him for me to leave.
I feel like a horrible person. I've been lying to him all this time, telling him I love him and I'm happy and I want to be with him when I've known all along it's not true. I just really wanted it to be true.
I just started an internship and I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time. I know if I stay with him I'll never be happy like this again. I want to be free to experience life and go my own way but I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. I don't want to be a selfish bitch. I just want to be happy.
I could really use some advice. This has been eating away at me all these years and I've never had the courage to say it out loud. I don't know what to do. | Been with boyfriend for 4yrs but don't love him. Want to leave him but don't have the heart to do it. Don't even know how to leave him without being an evil bitch. Need advice. |
t3_35752z | relationships | I'm [18 F] getting fed up with my friend [19 F] and trying to decide if I should keep the friendship going. | I've been friends with Sarah for about six years now. In recent years (basically since we were about 16), it seems that she has been doing more and more to reveal how horrible she is.
Here's a few examples:
* She pushes her views on other people (she's vegan) in a very condescending way. If someone doesn't agree, she calls them "ignorant" and says she's just trying to "educate" people.
* She tried to break up two of my relationships (current one and last one).
* She'll insult someone one day, and ask them for a favor the next day.
* Whenever I was depressed for no reason in particular, she never helped. She basically said "suck it up, other people have it worse than you".
* She called me a "crazy, jealous girlfriend" after I told her that my SO wasn't flirting with her, he was trying to be friendly to her because she's not only my friend, but also dating my SO's friend.
About a month ago, I was a thinking of all of these things and more (those examples are just the tip of the iceberg), and I realized that she really hasn't been a good friend, and just brings negativity to my life. So I deleted her on Facebook and blocked her number, no explanations.
Well, last week my cat died and I decided to tell her, and I also felt bad for not having an explanation for cutting her out of my life. We've been talking and of course more negativity came from her today when I told her I wasn't vegetarian anymore.
Quite frankly, it shouldn't be a big deal what I eat. But according to her, I should seek help because I have numbed feelings for not feeling bad about eating meat. I was angry, told her I deleted her because she's toxic, and turned my notifications off so I could ignore her and not be tempted to read what she replied.
Would I be justified in going back to cutting her out of my life, or are these all petty reasons to just end a friendship? | My friend hasn't been much of a friend, and I need help to decide whether to just cut her out of my life. |
t3_2dlghj | relationships | I'm 26M. Been going on dates with this amazing girl. And she's been responding well too. Yesterday was 4th date and we had great time. But she's not responding texts. What should I do? | So this girl is beautiful. Educated. We met three times and did all fun activities. Went out for cocktails and hiked and did dinner and went to rock climbing.
She's been great in responding texts. Funny. Communicated her interest well. Last night she came over to my house. We drank wine and hung out. Had good time. We went to my room and I waited for her signals before I approached and kissed her. We made out and she tongued me back too.
She said let's go downstairs and have more wine. We came downstairs and drank wine and talked. After some time, I asked her if she wants to hangout in my room. (Trust me, i was only going to make out) .She suddenly said that she has to go home.
But she kissed me well before she left. Also I walked her to her car, and she leaned her face towards me with eyes closed. And I kissed her. ( I'm trying to say is that I didn't force myself on her).
After she went home, she didn't reply my text. ( I'm assuming she might have slept).
This morning I casually texted her twice. You know, how her day is going on and etc. She didn't reply.
I'm worried, did I screw up? What should I do? I don't want to continuously text and appear needy. I want to be able to see her again. What should I do? | Girl isn't texting or replying even though the dates went well. (I think) What should be my next move? I would like to see her again. |
t3_4j35zu | relationships | I [20 M/F] accidentally saw friend's girlfriend[20f] naked. Uh. How do I make this less awkward? Also, do I tell him about that if she's not going to? | To keep this vague, I was walking back to my dorm room and took the long route since I had time. Campus is normally fairly busy by this spot near the river, but it was pretty late(like past midnight) and during the summer not that many people live there anyway.
Everything was going fine up until I'm turning around and see a friend coming out of the water naked. She kind of froze, looked at me without moving for like...a couple seconds then the moment kind of actually registered for the both of us and she went "AHHH" and jumped back in the water. She was alone.
She got dressed and all and...okay, every time we hang out(her, her boyfriend, my girlfriend and I are all good friends and usually hang out together) we've been kind of avoiding eye contact and been weird enough toward each other that my friend actually approached me all concerned and was like "Hey man...did you guys have an argument? Can I help?"
WHICH MAKES ME FEEL SUPER GUILTY. I asked her if she told him about it and she said no. I told my girlfriend because I'm one of those guys that can't keep what he ate for lunch from his girlfriend but she's not telling anyone. So like...yeah. I don't know if he should know, friend's girlfriend thinks it's going to be "bad for his pride"(whatever that means) if he hears about it and that he's gonna be bummed out. | Saw friend's GF(who's also a friend) skinny dipping by accident. Things are awkward as fuck and I want to make them less awkward also I'm not sure whether to tell the friend about this or not. |
t3_3yc860 | askwomenadvice | 20 (M) Do I tell her 20(F) I like her? | Hey, I'm 20 years old and got out of a 2-year college relationship approximately a month ago. I'm going through the process of healing surprisingly fast, almost never think of my ex, and the girl I've had a huge crush on for almost 3 years now is starting to hang out with me a lot and snapchats/texts me often now. Of course, I'm loving this, but he problem is, we go to different schools and are only home during breaks.
I don't mean to sound like I'm putting her on an unrealistic pedestal, but she's pretty close to perfect. It's as if she fits all my criteria for someone I want to be with, and every time we hang out I seem to learn something more about her that I like. All I know is I feel like I wanna tell her how I feel, but I really don't want to mess up our friendship.
Basically, I like her a lot. I want to let her know so I can find out if she likes me the same way, because she's sent some stuff that could go either way. Is there a way to minimize the risk of losing her as a friend? How would you react to someone you've been friends with telling you they're into you? I'm not sure what I want, all I know is how I feel about her. | Huge crush on girl for 3 years now. Both of us are now single, but only home for breaks. How can I minimize the risk of harming our friendship if/when I tell her how I feel? |
t3_21ixol | relationships | I [25F] want to vacation in Japan. Bf [30M] doesn't want to because he has a Japanese woman/scat porn fetish and says he couldn't handle the temptation. | I have expressed how much I want to go to Japan to my boyfriend of 1yr 9 months. I've tried finding a friend to go with, but they can't afford it and I want to go before summer because I start grad school in Fall. Bf says he doesn't want to go because he would want to have sex with all the women and watch live scat porn shows in Japan. He's willing to travel elsewhere (like Europe, within the US). He has said that he would only go to Japan if he were single and could have sex with women there.
Not sure how to feel. Should I respect his opinion.. or be offended that he is a pig/doesn't want to suck it up and do it for me?
Anyone have insight on this issue?
Also, do they even do live fetish porn shows there? | I want to go to Japan. Bf doesn't because he says he'll be too tempted by the cute women/possibility of watching live fetish porn. How would you feel? |
t3_3aymax | relationships | I [20 M] just don't know what to do with [19 F] my girlfriend of 3 and a half years, Is her interest gone? | Hey Reddit,
I'm really hoping people will be able to help me out in trying to understand my situation and what I should do about it. So my girlfriend and I have come back from university to live at home for the 4 month break. We live about 40 minutes away from each other.
She has increasingly throughout the summer slowly texted me less and less and when we are able to get together (about once a week) she seem uninterested and unexcited to see me. This is tough for me to deal with as I'm always excited to spend time with her as I try to make each date a little different and special. We had similar issues last year when she came home for the summer. When she lives with her family as oppose to her roommates at school her whole personality changes.
On our last date we went to the movies where she started feeling extremely ill part way though and by the time the movie was over she was in severe pain. This was the first time in two weeks she was going to be able to sleep over at my place but she felt so ill that she wanted to be home to be comfortable.
This was also the first time she seemed happy that I was there for her to take care of her. She told me she loved me and kissed me. Then by sheer bad luck she also got the chicken pox this week and well I know how draining that can be I still only hear from here maybe 3 times a day with short texts.
I love this girl and I truly believe she loves me but I just can't understand the lack of excitement, interest, or desire to even hear from me. I don't know what to do reddit so I appreciate any and all advice and comments that can be sent my way. Thank you. | My girlfriend seem uninterested and unexcited to ever see/hear from me except for when she really needs me, I don't know what to do as it hurts not feeling wanted most of the time. |
t3_4sgiid | relationships | I [16 F] give everything I can to my sister [15 F] and get nothing but petty comments and an attitude in return. | Our life isnt easy even a little bit, so I try to lessen the blow on her. I calm her down when she gets an attitude. Mediate her fighting so she doesn't get in trouble. Cook and entertain for her. And I am constantly listening and trying to be there for her to help her out with her life-size she isn't the most mature person ever.
Anyways, I have no problem doing this for her because I want to be a good person and help her in any way possible if she would just show a little gratitude. She acts like she hates me and gets angry Everytime I do something for myself. She is rude to me and constantly belittles me. | I don't know if I should just stop trying to help our relationship. I understand she is family but I constantly feel like I'm picking her messes and issues. |
t3_3g79ig | relationships | I [29M] get easily infatuated and feel like the phrase 'love is blind' was made specifically for me. How can I learn to trust the way I feel? | There's a lot of history behind these thoughts, but without getting into it I find after a relationship ends (I've had ~4, most are multiple years long), a fog lifts from my perception and I see every flaw so clearly, and I feel like I should have seen everything coming and should have ended things way sooner (or never even began).
It feels like I ignore, don't notice, or excuse *so* many things during a relationship that I should not be, but I can never see it until it's over. This makes me feel like I can't trust the way I feel at all when a relationship is forming or during it. And if I don't feel like I can see things clearly when I'm in the middle of them (and I don't, at all, not even a little bit)... I don't even know what to do. How can I ever trust the way I feel, if I never see the picture clearly? | Feel blind during relationships, which makes me feel like I can't trust my feelings, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_13pho0 | tifu | Tifu by letting my husband unload the car | I'm a workaholic/control freak according to my huBby. So I decide to take a chill pill and trust him to m handle unloading the car w outt bitching/nagging and Overseeing his work. I take my son inside and start mom duties finish up and go to bed happy that groceries are put away. Wake up this morning to take my son to school and find my car door open and my purse and briefcase w my work laptop have been stolen. - turns out hubby didn't unload my personal/work items -only the groceries and didn't think it necessary to lock the doors to my car. Now I have to explain to my boss that I don't have my laptop because my husband basically gave it away and I didn't follow up. | didn't micromanage SO who left my purse and laptop in my unlocked car overnight. Will be in big trouble at work for missing laptop. |
t3_3x9ee3 | tifu | TIFU by messing around with an account security question | This FU happened around ~6 years ago I guess, well thats when I found out about it at least.
Back when I was in grade 9 one of my buddies convinced me to start playing WoW. I had played a few times on his account and decided it would be a good medium to waste the endless amount of free time I had back then. I went out and bought the game and then got home and proceeded to install it/make my account.
Being the mischievous little 14 year old I was, I decided that I would have some fun with some of the account details. I put little jokes in here and there thinking that I would never again see/use this information.
Fast forward a couple of years and my WoW account got hacked. It was pretty annoying; I had to call Blizzard support and sort everything out. I tell the customer support guy my account name and info. He says I have to answer the security question before he can help me any further. So he asks "What was your first job?". I replied "Uhmmm XYZ meat market?" (Only job I had ever had at the time). Wasn't the right answer, so I tell him I usually screw around with these things. He says "Okay, I'll go talk to my supervisor and see what I can do" and puts me on hold.
He comes back a few minutes later to tell me that he is allowed to give me the answer to my security question. "So your security question is 'what was your first job' and your answer was 'dealing drugs'". I couldn't hold back a hearty chuckle and assured him I wasn't slanging rocks. I'm sure that the customer support guy got a good laugh from our chat. I just wish I could have heard the conversation between him and his supervisor. | Jokingly said 'dealing drugs' was my first job for an account security question. Forgot about this until my account got hacked and customer support had to give me the answer. |
t3_w6jpq | AskReddit | Reddit, my (ex) girlfriend just broke up with me. How can I cheer up? | Title describes the situation, but it's more than that. Her family was a second family to me. Her mom wanted us to get married, she would call me son-in-law, her dad thought I was awesome and sent me a message saying "sorry dude, I am floored" regarding her leaving me, and I would do absolutely anything for her 6 year old little sister.
We had dated once before a few years ago and that went well, but we lost communication and started talking again which led us to date again. The problem this time was we lived an hour apart, so I would drive to see her on weekends (I work Mon-Fri) but she is always working constantly, so she had little time for me on the weekends. And during the week, we were busy and she was hard to get in touch with. So it just built up with us talking less and less, and fighting about it even though at the moment, there was nothing we could do to fix.
The break-up was sort of mutual, I don't blame her, but it still sucks ass. We love each other still, but the timing just wasn't right.
How can I be happy, and move on? | Girlfriend left me because we didn't have time for each other. Still love each other. Want to be happy about the situation. |
t3_434zla | personalfinance | Medical Insurance -- Employer let payments "lapse," now does not pay his part of the "agreement." | My boyfriend's boss is kind of sketchy. There are a number of red flags going on (website is not paid, inventory is not being restocked, etc.). BF got paid a day late this week, and it is ~$350-$400 less than what it normally is, the boss says this is for "insurance..." Normally BF pays $59.72 biweekly for health insurance.
The boss said he "accidentally" had Erick pay both his and the employer portion. There was no discussion as to when this mistake will be rectified. The boss is blaming everything on a change in payroll servicer, but this does not seem like the kind of mistake a payroll company would make.
Meanwhile, they haven't had insurance for a month. One of the guys at the company got two MRIs this month to the tune of $10,000, and is being forced to pay out of pocket. He did not know the insurance was lapsed, until then. What can this guy do? My bf believes the company is going under (we've been suspicious for months), is there anything he should or should not do in the meantime?
Also, bf thinks he might have been shorted pay, boss has called in "sick" today since everyone is mad at him about the pay being late and not having insurance. | Boss didn't pay medical insurance, who is responsible for $10k in hospital bills if employees were not made aware they did not have insurance. Is it legal for the boss to let insurance lapse like that? |
t3_f74q4 | AskReddit | An old friend committed suicide. Looking for insight into my reaction, or maybe someone who can relate. | Hi Reddit. An old friend of mine killed herself not too long ago. I wasn't able to attend her funeral, but I've been in touch with her family and mutual friends. Many of them are thanking me for taking her to church when we were younger, because she was baptized/saved/whatever you want to call it.
I've had friends and family die. I've never been that shaken by it because I'm fairly secure in my own mortality. I tend to just say goodbye and move on.
The thing is, I'm an Athiest. I have been since I went to college. I took her to church when we were kids because it was one of the only form of social interactions my family allowed, especially with the opposite sex.
I left her to believe whatever she believed in, it was none of my business. At the time, I already had my doubts, but it seemed like the idea of a god made her happy.
When the church she was baptized at found out she had passed away, they sent her family her certificate of baptism (they have those?) along with her membership records, etc. Now her family (who is not actively religious) and her friends (who are) are thanking me for "working so hard to 'save her soul'" when we were younger.
It occurred to me this morning that the notion of an afterlife may have been what enabled her to take her own life. Needless to say, my role in this is fucking with me. I know it's probably just a form of grieving, but even so, I'm really at a loss here. I know her choices were her own, both in life and death...I'm just struggling with this.
Has anyone out there felt like this? How did you deal with it? | Friend I exposed to religion killed herself. I feel partly to blame because sometimes the idea of an afterlife makes it easier for people to accept their mortality. |
t3_4oq3yp | relationships | Me [24/M] with my girlfriend [23/F] of nearly two years, she wants to go to a stripclub and I do not. | Girlfriend says she wants to try and experience new things. She mentioned several times that she wants to go to a stripclub.I don't like this idea at all, I don't want to go and it bothers me that she does.
It's not about her looking at other guys, she's okay with going to a strip club that only has women dancers and is okay with me coming with her, however I don't want to go nor want her to go without me.
I asked her why exactly she wants to go and she says just said she's never been and it feels ''naughty'' and ''thrilling''. I argued that there's other various things we could do that are thrilling but do not involve stripclubs, but then she asked for examples.
What do you think we should do? Also what could I suggest to try out instead? | Girlfriend wants to go to stirpclub. I don't want to go nor want her to go. How to compromise? |
t3_2w3w4r | weddingplanning | To run away or to face the in-laws... | My boyfriend and I have been talking more and more about our wedding. He hasn't proposed yet (he's asking my father in April) but we have a date set and did have a venue picked out, colors, etc.
But then about a week ago, we were going over about what size guest list we'd want, and we realized that on his side alone, the immediate, must-have family members come out to 50 people.....and they all HATE each other. That fact alone makes me nervous, let alone adding high emotions/stress and an open bar into the mix.
So we've discussed running away, probably still in the states (we live in Seattle, and have been kicking around the idea of getting married in the redwoods/forest in Nor-Cal or Oregon) just to limit the family. I only have 9 people in my family that would HAVE to be there, and it's my parents, two brothers (older brother's wife and daughter included), my cousin (who I was raised with), and my grandparents (if they can make the trip).
I felt like it would be unfair to have my whole family there if he can't have his, but my family gets along and he knows that and gave the ok.
So is it more reasonable to run away with us, our parents (and my family) and our 4 best friends, or just go all out, have a full on wedding and pray everyone behaves themselves?
Also, has anyone else gotten married in the woods? How was it? | Boyfriend's family hates each other, trying to decide whether to risk it with a full wedding or run away with just his parents and my small family. |
t3_ywoi2 | relationships | I snooped on my boyfriends computer and found suspicous messages. Can I confront him? [20F, 20M] | My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. For the last month or so, he had been constantly accusing me of cheating on him. I had to fend off accusations every day basically, despite not cheating on him, and not doing anything out of line that might make him suspicious. He just said he had a "hunch". Trust had never been an issue before, so I thought it was strange he brought it up so much, but I did my best to reassure him and chalked it up to his last girlfriend cheating on him.
That seemed to die off a few weeks ago, and we've been great ever since, but a few days ago something irked me. I asked him to list me as his girlfriend on Facebook, and he didn't want to. I don't like to really conduct my personal life online so I didn't push it. Later on, he left for work and wanted to log onto my Facebook to kill some time, and his profile came up. I know I shouldn't have looked, but curiosity got the better of me.
I found messages through the last two months of our relationship of him making plans to smoke joints with a few girls, take another out for a beer (this was a visiting friend, so it's not a big deal), and he messaged another calling her "absolutely gorgeous". He also had his ex-girlfriends page bookmarked. There is no hard evidence of him cheating, but this sure looks suspicious and makes me uncomfortable. Can I bring this up even though I looked at this behind his back? | saw my boyfriends personal messages to other girls online and now I'm worried he's messing around. Can I confront him? |
t3_1t9dau | relationships | I [24M] and my SO [22F] mutually ended our LDR because of the distance. I'm feeling I let go of the most compatible SO I've ever known merely for logistical reasons. | We met while both of us were abroad (i.e. I am from country A, she from country B, met in country C). We spent about 6 months together in country C and were "together" for almost 2 years, but after that trip, were only able to see each other about twice per year for about 2 weeks at a time. We finally decided that the loneliness of our LDR was just too much stress on our relationship, and neither of us was really excited about expatriating to get closer.
I've been through break ups before. I know I could find someone else, given time. I have in the past; I can do it again. But a huge part of me can't get over how compatible we were. Just knowing that there is a person on the other side of the ocean that I could have a happy life with, if the circumstances were different, gets me so depressed. I can't just pack up and leave my career to get to her. As romantic as that seems, it is entirely unrealistic, and I can't expect any different from her. It just sucks. I miss everything about her. Even the micro instances that got me angry. On a macro level, those things make her who she is, and I love who she is. I don't want to find love in someone else that is similar when I know exactly what I am looking for is out there in a person that I already know and love. | Ended the best relationship I've ever been in because of distance. Neither of us could realistically commit to leaving our careers and expatriating, and the stress just became too much. |
t3_54zopk | relationships | Me (45F) at work. I'm a manager of 15 people. Another manager (52F) told me that a few of my people complained about me. But won't tell me who it is or what they said. How can I be expected to improve or change if I don't know what the problem is? | So this happened over the span of a few weeks. Since then, two of my people quit. During their exit interviews they told me that they didn't like being held accountable for not meeting their sales quota. Both said they are going to new jobs where if they don't sell, it's okay.
I've been told by my boss that there is a certain way to handle all accounts. It's my job to make sure they are handled correctly. When they aren't handled correctly, I have to remind them to report in.
It's fairly simple. You know the rules. Follow them and I don't have to remind you. Don't follow them and I do have to remind you. Plus, sell. If you don't sell, we need to know why. It's not like we have a lightbulb over their head interrogating them. I don't even do the talking when they do come in. The boss does.
Yet they are complaining about me. No one will give me any specifics, and I one will tell me who is complaining. Yet I'm told that some people are complaining. That's not even constructive!
I'm very frustrated. | I'm frustrated because I can't fix what I don't know is broken. Most of my staff is fine. It's just a couple who aren't. |
t3_2tfuil | relationships | Am I [20F] being too much for him [20M]? | Okay, so this guy is pretty much my first boyfriend, and we've been dating for a short while. Then last night, we got "intimate". I blew him without a condom, and we tried having sex with a condom, but I think it barely went in. By the way, that was my first time being intimate with a guy.
So i wasn't too freaked out until he told me he used heroin about 10 times last year, but that he doesn't do it anymore. Then today I texted him, asking him if he's ever been tested. He said no, because he's only had sex a few times before but has always used a condom. I asked him something else related to this question (not about the heroin or anything), and he has yet to reply. I've noticed this trend with him, where I ask too many annoying questions and he forgoes replying.
Now we both have work in the same place, so I'll be seeing him in 20 minutes or so. What should I do? | I'm worried about getting STDs or STIs, but bf doesn't seem to want to get tested. I think he thinks I'm overreacting. |
t3_2uauo8 | relationships | I [24 M/F] refuse to cook for my [32 M] BF of four years, it has come between us | My BF of 4 years, works a very busy job (lawyer), while I am a work from home graphic designer, I recognize that he probably works 70+ hours a week and for me it is more part time.
Well, I do most of the house work. He always promises to do it but he is so busy that he never does. Cooking has been our main conflict.
He always gets take out and junk food. Like every single day. Early on in the relationship, I told him I will never cook for him, and he sweetly told me that he is proud of me for not falling into gender stereotypes, that was when I knew I found the man of my dreams. Well... lately, I am getting bothered by his habits of take out every single night.
I ended up telling him if he does not stop eating out we are going to have trouble. So he agreed to start cooking for himself.
Last night we go to the grocery store, and he is choosing hot pockets, frozen pizzas and macaroni. I tell him this does NOT count as cooking, and that I want him to learn how to do it, because he is just buying the frozen food equivalent of takeout.
Then right there in the frozen aisle he breaks down practically crying, saying he just wants someone to cook for him, and "why do you have to be such a feminist that you can't cook for me at least sometimes." He said that he has no time to do it and doesn't even know what to buy or how to cook.
We then ended up getting take out and going home. The reason I don't cook for him is because I already do most the house work and I do not want to be a 1950s girlfriend. I am also vegan and don't like to touch meat, and I'm not even a great cook myself. How do we get through this?
I should add that early on in our relationship when he brought up having a cook come and cook for him every week, I told him that would be a deal breaker for me because I do not want strangers coming into my house. So we are at a stand still. | My lawyer boyfriend refuses to do any house work and cooking has come between us. I told him, no more takeout, and he cried, saying he needs someone to cook for him. |
t3_3pg53i | relationships | I [19 F] am increasingly jealous of my boyfriend's [21 M] new friendships and it is making me hostile. | I am in my second year at college and I pretty much have no friends within a 5 hour vicinity of me. I talk to a few people in class and see one close friend once or twice a month, but besides that, my boyfriend is the only person I see and talk to regularly.
Before college, I had a really good group of friends. I was outgoing and social. However, my first friend group freshman year ended up being filled with rude people who I had nothing in common with, so I cut ties after the first semester. Now I am halfway through my third semester with basically no friends, which I feel down about a ton, so I think this is where my bitterness is stemming from. Yes, I have tried meeting new people- I am in a few clubs, I work, and I am friendly towards new people, but I haven't met anyone I click with besides my boyfriend.
I met my boyfriend a year ago and we have been dating for 10 months. Like me, he used to not have very many friends. Because of this, we hung out all the time and constantly texted. But he started a new job and found a huge group of people he clicks with. He hangs out with them more days than he doesn't. When he's with them he wont respond to my texts for hours on end and it makes me feel lonely and sad. His new friends are pretty much all he talks about, and I really don't want to hear it all the time.
While I know I should feel happy for him, I can't help but get peeved that he has all these new people and I have next to nobody. I've snapped at him a few times over mundane things because of it, and I've spent too much time analyzing every text (or lack thereof), staring at ceilings instead of sleeping, and moping in general. I don't want to become that bitchy, clingy girlfriend but I can feel my bitterness stewing inside of me and getting worse.
How can I get over my angry, jealous feelings? | boyfriend got a new job and is hanging out with his work buddies all the time. I pretty much only have one other friend who I only occasionally see so it's making me bitter and jealous. |
t3_4q66g2 | relationships | Me [23F] with my mother [65F], need advice on how to tactfully tell her she's wearing unflattering clothes | I have a problem that is relatively minor, but it's making me really sad so I thought I'd ask for advice.
My mother, who is wonderful, has lost a lot of weight over the past few years and is understandably delighted with her new body. (She was always very slender, then she had kids and retained a good 30 extra pounds.)
I love her very much and am very proud of her success, but the problem that has arisen is that she totally retooled her wardrobe and some of the things she now wears are INCREDIBLY unflattering for her body shape.
I know this makes me sound like an asshole -- and that she totally has the right to wear what she wants-- but she is a woman who values her appearance and tries hard to look good. She prides herself on her style. For whatever reason, though, she has seized on this one sort of outfit (leggings + long, tight shirt + narrow belt) that makes her body look really oddly shaped. This isn't just me saying it -- other people, my not-fashion-conscious father included, have brought this up. It seems like it's just an objectively bad look.
It makes me really sad to see her wearing things that make her shape look weird. She is an awesome lady and I don't want to hurt her feelings, other people have been noticing (and commenting to me) how "interesting" her new outfits are. I don't want her to be embarrassed if an acquaintance makes an unkind comment to HER: she would be absolutely devastated. She associates with people who might be assholish enough to do this, so this is a possibility.
So, I'm looking for advice: do you guys have any strategies or scripts for gently guiding my mother away from this look? I know that some hurt feelings are probably inevitable, but I really want to minimize the blow to her ego. | My mother has taken to wearing some seriously unflattering outfits-- enough that people are noticing enough to comment. I'm looking for a tactful way to let her know that it's not a good look for her. |
t3_2nsid4 | relationships | Am I [24 M] an a hole for feeling less inclined to commit after hearing about her [23 f] past hook ups? | So, i met this girl a month and a half ago while we were both on holiday, and although we only spent about 8 hours together we really connected and decided to stay in touch. after talking almost everyday for a month i decided to visit my brother who happens to live in the same country, and same neighborhood, as she does.
one afternoon she and i were hanging out at my brother's apartment and my brother walked in with some of his friends. turns out she knew one of them, and after she had left i asked him how he knew her. He then told me that she was one of his friend's booty calls... i was devastated, and its weird bc we arent dating but we have certainly been moving in that direction esp since i may be moving here.
I have tried to look past it, but i cant help but feel like i dont want to be in a serious relationship with someone's old bootycall. i feel immature for having these feelings, and most of all i feel bad for being standoffish around her now bc she has been wonderful to me.
so question: am a an a hole for feeling less inclined to commit bc ive heard that she was very recently a mutual friend's bootycall? | been interested in getting serious with a girl but things have changed after finding out that she was a mutual friend's bootycall in the very recent past. feel like a dick for liking her less now. is that wrong? |
t3_4zhpfs | relationships | I [27m] checked my GF's [24f] phone. It seems like everyone does this... | I see so many posts on Reddit (literally dozens a day) where people have found something out by checking (or "accidentally opening") something on their partner's phone. I did this not too long ago and I felt terrible after I did it - both because my suspicions were true and because I'd invaded my partner's privacy. But it seems like everyone is doing this. Are relationships so fragile that we feel the need to constantly check on our partners? And if so, given that trust is supposedly the biggest thing in a relationship alongside communication, why is everyone with someone that they seemingly don't trust? | How many relationships involve the sneaky act of checking a partner's phone, and why stay with a person you obviously don't trust? |
t3_3vun5c | relationships | I'm [40F] trying to find a healthy way forward with my bio-mom [67F]. | I lived with both my parents until I was 8 years old, then with my maternal grandmother (for 2 years), then with my mom and stepdad (3 years), then they got arrested for drugs and I went to live in foster care with friends' (two homes, two different friends) family from age 13 to 19. My foster care experience was better than most. (And my bio-dad and stepdad both have passed away from drug-associated health problems).
My mom and I began reconciling about 15 years ago when she got clean/sober and it's been a bumpy ride but we have a cordial, if strained relationship now. I'd like to maintain having holidays with her and her health is failing, so I visit most weeks on Sundays for a few hours. These Sunday visits are often tense, with me waiting for her to blow up about something, and she sends emotional daggers towards me.
The biggest one being: to this day, my mom insists I ran away from home (and often says it in mixed company or in public arguments, very embarrassing and loud), or in her words, "left her" when I was 13. I never quite understood why she thought that. She says that I abandoned her and she guilts me about what 13-year-old me did. Yesterday, I heard even more background-- she thinks that I ran away to live with my friend and completely blocked out her arrest and that social services took me away-- she even pre-dates when I ran away to be earlier than the "arrest" she barely remembers. I've never run away from home.
I don't know how to react when she pulls these yelly tantrums. I want to just walk out the door when it happens because I cringe and cry and get all red in the face and angry. And If I tell her she's wrong and she "needs a new narrative," she says that I'm lying about what happened. But I was the sober one!
What are some alternatives to walking away or what is a new way I can react/act towards her that maybe I haven't considered? | I had a drug addict mother who's clean now, after years of therapy, how do I deal with remaining unresolved issues without losing my head? |
t3_4wf06i | relationships | My [23M] girlfriend [19M] is deathly afraid of intimacy. | Hi all, this my first time ever posting on reddit so have mercy, also, english isn't my first language, so keep that in mind.
Well then, where to begin. I met my girlfriend (let's call her A) at a local driving school. She was having some troubles with driving and i offered to help her out, to which she agreed. Fast forward a week or two and we're dating. Things were nice at first, she was always really affectionate,always up for kissing and stuff. Then i started asking her about doing "the thing". That's when she started telling me about her wee little fears.
Apparently, a year or so ago, she was at a party with a friend, and there, she encountered a drunk man, who was let's say, interested in her, and started placing his hand in places that she didn't like. Of course, she tried to get away from him, but apparently, the man didnt let up, and followed her throughout the party. This, as she described, scarred her for life and leaves her psychologically reeling if we were to attempt any sexy times. I also asked her friend who as also with her that day, and she said that it was just a drunk man doing drunk things. To clarify, my gf was able to get away from him, and get home unscathed.
The thing is, my girlfriend is very very emotional, it doesn't take alot of effort to make her cry or break her. As for sexytimes, she always gives the same answers; I'm afraid, I'm sorry, I can't do this ever, I don't want to. I tried recommending some anti-depressants to help her relax, but she wouldn't have any of it. Also, it's not just sex that she's deathly afraid of, i asked if i could sleep with her any time (just sleeping, nothing else), and she said no, she can't even sleep in the same bed with me.
I'm afraid i don't exactly know what to do right now. Again this my first time posting on reddit so have mercy. | Due to a close encounter with a pushy drunk guy at a party, girlfriend is now to scarred to spend the night with me. |
t3_3fz7nj | relationships | Me(f24) and bf(m27) of 4month's mutual friend(m23) is cheating on his gf(f24) who is also my friend | My bf (ill call him Jake) and I started dating 4month ago, he's amazing and I trust him very much. He's generally honest and he makes sure I know he loves me.
Jake and I have mutual friends who are dating each other. Chad and Cathy. Important part is Chad and Jake are close and have known each other longer than I've known Jake. Cathy was never close with Jake but recently we all hangout together, and I really like her and we're becoming good Friends.
Recently Cathy confided in me that she thinks Chad is cheating. She doesn't have solid proof, but Chad is acting quite sketchy.
I forgot how the conversation went but when I asked Jake about this, Jake slipped that he knew about what was going on. He was reluctant to share any information as it was a secret between him and Chad. But in the end it turns out Chad is cheating on Cathy with multiple girls. From the start of the relationship.
Jake doesn't want me to tell Cathy because he.. I guess violated the "bro code". I don't judge who Jake is friends with, and I'd like to honor that I not mention Jake slipped up. BUT I really want to make sure Cathy finds out about Chad's cheating. I can't keep her in the dark about this. It's a health issue as well.
I urged her to confront Chad, but I'm afraid she'll chicken out. I know she will take my word if I mention Jake slipped up, but I cant do that. So help me think of a way that I can be loyal to both Jake and Cathy, I know I'm being greedy but if anyone has any idea.... Please let me know | mutual friend cheats on mutual friend, bf slipped up and told me crucial info. I'm unsure how to proceed without betraying my bf while not betraying my friend. |
t3_1db1t1 | AskReddit | What is your best experience that has made you want to pay it forward? | Reddit talks about paying it forward when someone does a random act of kindness for you. A friend and myself were recently roadtripping through the states and we were sleeping in our car outside of a hotel. A guy came and knocked on the window and told us he couldn't consciously let us sleep in the car and that he had already paid for a hotel room for us. No matter how much we refused he insisted and eventually we gave in. The room was 120.00 but the lady at the front desk gave it to him for 70.00 since she knew he was buying it for us. Me and my friend were completely blown away and made us want to pay it forward one day when we could afford to. | A guy bought me and a friend a hotel room because he couldn't let us sleep in the car in the parking lot and expected nothing in return. |
t3_2bq7g1 | relationships | Me [22 M] just broke up with my gf [22 F] of 3 years, she wants to meet up tomorrow | We both just finished school, where we dated for almost 3 years. However, I can't see a future of us together and am moving across the country in a month, so I felt like a breakup was inevitable. I didn't want to pointlessly drag it out, figuring this would be easier than letting it "fizzle out" over a longer time.
I did it over the phone, since we live about 2 hours away from one another right now. She took it very badly and said that she deserves a face to face meeting tomorrow, so I said we could meet somewhere halfway between our homes for lunch.
I told her this would only make it harder for both of us though, and that I wasn't going to change my mind about the breakup. I care about her enough that I want to make it as painless as possible for her, but I don't know if meeting face to face will make it better or worse.
I should add that we haven't seen each other in about a month since I've been away, and have only talked a little during that time.
Any advice on whether or not to go see her face to face? This is my first real breakup and I have no idea how to make it easier to handle, or whether I did the right thing at all. Any help would be really appreciated. | Broke up with gf of 3 years over the phone, care about her and want to make it easier for her, but not sure if meeting for lunch tomorrow is the best thing to do right now. |
t3_z6icl | relationships | Is it normal for women to not be attracted to their long term sexual partners (25f and 28m) | Hey there reddit.
Ive (25f) been in several long term relationships and been with multiple shorter partners. I have been intensely sexually attracted to them, to the point of getting short of breath, getting weak in the knees and completely soaking my panties ( before we've even started fondling each other). I am seen as a very sexual person and very much identify myself with that until I hit a certain point in a long term relationship and start to pine for freedom (both personal and sexual).
When i first met my bf (about 8mths ago, together for 6 months, 28m) i fell for him hard and we had really intense sex. He is amazing and we are completely sexually compatible (fantasies etc).
But over the past several weeks i have wanted to have sex less and less. I keep coming up with (valid) reasons - I have been very sick, started a new job and have purchased my own apartment. Ive been extremely stressed and tired. But I know that if i was single i would still be going out and trying to get laid. Even when im not stressed the idea of having sex with my bf seems like a chore.
Its very depressing because its a pattern often repeated. This is the first man i want to marry and carry his children. But i just cant get excited at the idea of having sex with him. I love to cuddle and kiss and overall remain affectionate, just dont want to have sex. When he has stayed over (we live seperately), I tend to just want to go to sleep being all cuddly and warm whereas he starts wanting to have sex.
It seems like novelty and passion excite me and love and familiarity dont. I wonder if this is the same reason why so many women wane off having sex with their husbands over the long term. But thats a side note.
My other relationships mostly failed due to mental incompatibility or me falling out of love with them.
So please help me reddit! How do I work through this to be a good sexual partner to my man? | I have noticed that I seem to stop being all that sexually attracted to LT boyfriends when it hits the 8month - 1 year mark. Scared this will jepordize current relationship. |
t3_3qqojw | relationships | My [18 M] personal space issue's are affecting my love life. | I have some personal space issue's due to Anxiety and ADHD,walking down the street is quite difficult for me since i fell as if those walking by are looking at me.I dont really like people touching my stuff or unnecessarily talking to me or even looking at me,this is affecting my love life a bit.I cant share the same bowl of icecream or the same spoon with my SO,i cant kiss her without having her use Listerine before kissing and that kinds takes out the fun.
i want advice on how to get over this,my SO does know about this and is supportive but i need to help myself to get over this. | Personal space issue's are affecting love life a bit since i cant kiss my so without having her use Listerine first.Need advice on how to get over this. |
t3_2iiz6r | tifu | TIFU by honoring a Halloween tradition | Every October, I get ready for Halloween by reading some Junji Ito comics. If you know who he is, you probably already know how this ends and don't need to read further.
Right after I finished reading some of that Nippon Nightmare Fuel, my laptop's lid broke. This was bound to happen, it's a five-year-old laptop, whatever.
It turns out the problem was worse than I thought. I woke up later that night to discover that my broken laptop had spilled live snakes, mice, and vampire bats all over my floor, and they were going to crawl onto the bedsheets in about two seconds.
I bolted out of my bedroom at 2 AM, shouting and tripping over shoes, hurting my neck, and looking like an all-around fool. It was about a minute or two before I said, "Now hold on a second..."
I'm in a very stressful period of my life (the good kind of stressed, but nonetheless), so I was stupid to think Junji Ito would somehow make for good bedtime reading material. | Job-related stress + Head Honcho of Honshu Horror = A bad night and a stiff neck the next morning. |
t3_vps5q | relationships | Please help me, I'm extremelly depressed and feeling worthless over my SO | I'm 26 he's 29, we've been together for 3 years, everything was perfect at the beginning, he's extremlly intellingent, funny handsome, and caring, but a few months ago, everything changed, there are many point that I can explain easily:
- He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be "right" by blaming me. (even when I ask him kindly that something bothers me, he just snaps and now he's the one mad at me)
- His mood switches from aggressive to apologetic and loving after the problem has occurred
- Plays the "silent game" as punishment when he doesn't get his way, and criticizes me, saying that it's a joke.
I know, you'll all say "dump his sorry ass" , the thing is, I can't I just can't figure out a way out, I've tried but he keeps promising he'll change and I keep believing him, he's so nice to me when he's calm, which is most of the time, but the rages he tends to have are really strong. I need to seek help, but also would love to have some strangers opinion. | I'm aware that my SO can get really abusive, still can't get off the relationship and believe his promise that he will change. |
t3_4j2yi0 | relationships | Me [18 M/F] with my _Girlfriend__ [18 M/F] GF makes me even more depressed | To make it short, a lot of things in my life are kinda going down hill right now but on the other hand, my girlfriend is having everyhing go right with her life and idk it just kinda makes me depressed cause she's having a blast and I'm depressed/stressed over things in my life right now. And on top of that, we both had our drivers license test this week and I ended up failing by 1 point while she passed hers so she has all this freedom now while I'm depressed at home.
How do I cope with this? | Everything is going right in my GF's life right now while mine has everything going down hill. Seeing her so happy makes me sorta depressed cause I'm over here all sad. How do I cope with this? |
t3_uhzh9 | dating_advice | 19 year old male, need help figuring out if it's appropriate to ask a girl on a date. | First things first, keep in mind that I'm really scared of coming off as creepy around girls that I like, especially if I know I'm going to see them again. There's a girl that I knew kind of distantly in high school; we did a couple plays together, but never really hung out or talked to any great extent. I always thought she was cute but never asked her out, since I was a SAP in high school. I'm back in town for the summer and I recently saw her, she's a hostess for my favorite wing restaurant now. She recognized who I was and seemed kinda glad to see me. So, reddit, my question is, would it be appropriate to ask her on a date, and if so, how? | cute girl I liked in high school but wasn't close to is now the hostess at a restaurant I frequent, would it be weird/creepy to ask her on a date? |
t3_2ul9hi | relationships | Me [26M] with my ex gf [28F] 1.5 yrs, 4 months post BU | Work at same place. Breakup was mild. I went NC for 30 days. She broke the NC, we spoke a bunch. Had a good convo about being friends. Started out fine i.e jolly text messages, frequent throughout the week. Some phone calls, work related mostly. Some hang outs at my place/hers to work on projects.
Now as of about a week ago, messages are no longer "jolly" they are pointless dead end texts.
Here is an example
Her: How your day go?
Me: oh great. etc etc blah blah... and yours?
Her: Um good.
Me: So anything else going on?
no response
i would get a variety of those types of messages and the conversations are similar.
What is going on? Do i stop responding? Do i emulate her behavior ie respond with Dead end messages? Do i confront and ask her why she talks to me only to have it go no where?
Advice/help/insight is much appreciated. | Ex used to talk to me all the time, recently is highly uninterested even though she initiates ALL contact (I still respond with my happy personality) |
t3_itbh8 | AskReddit | Summer fling, I don't know how to cope! Help me out! | I made probably the one huge mistake that people make when it comes to this kind of issue gotten a little too attached. I have spent that past few weeks with such an awesome girl, long story short: I met her, everything went great, and led to some other things (awesome btw)! I'm 17, and of all the girls I've been with, I really have gotten more attached than I should've especially seeing as it's something. I think it might be because she's the first girl that I got way past making out with (if you catch my drift), now we both know it's just a fling, and at first I saw her as a friend but now I feel different. She's leaving in just over a week, and today it all of a sudden sank in that she's leaving, I feel like complete shit and I don't know what to do. Whether it seems pussyish or not, I don't really care, and seeing as I'm a guy that does not usually get this attached to girls, this feeling is something I'm not used to at all. So please, how the hell can I cope, it's really killing me, the fact that she's leaving so soon is what is the worst. | I met an awesome girl (more mature and older) and what started out as a summer fling for me changed into something more. |
t3_3zv35s | jobs | Deciding between a temporary and a permanent position | I'm 23, nearly 24, and live in the UK. I've been out of work for about 5 months after the death of a relative and am getting back into it now.
I've just picked up a part time temporary job for a couple of months near where I live. The pay isn't bad considering it's temp (equivalent of about $16 an hour).
I had an interview with a project management company in a big city nearby, which is a long commute but full time and really good pay. The experience would also be excellent for me, and it seems like a no-brainer to take it.
However, I'm not fully decided on a career path yet and I still plan to do some travelling etc before I settle down.
Basically I think I'm not ready for a big commitment and it feels like this would be one - but I also don't want to pass up probably the best opportunity I've had in terms of work.
Also, most of my friends live in London so I'd like to end up there eventually, again meaning I probably won't be sticking around for too long.
Has anyone here had to make a decision like this, and how did it end up? | on a comfortable part time temp job but have an offer for a permanent one, not sure if I want to commit. Advice? |
t3_ly4fu | AskReddit | Got some really weird, inappropriate text messages from my boss while I was in the hospital - I have no idea what to do. | Throwaway account, sensitive information.
I'll give you a brief history of the relationship between my boss(es) and I. There's the manager and the owner that work together to run the company I work for. The manager is openly gay, and months ago, I went to confide in him and ask for advice for my personal journey as a 23 year-old bisexual man.
He had some helpful things to say, and also told me that the owner of the company is also gay, but in the closet. The manager told him about me, and I didn't have a problem with that. Since then, the three of us have talked to each other a few times about the thing we all have in common, but it never got too involved or inappropriate. There was always still a professional, boss-employee tone to our relationship.
This past Sunday, I went to the ER with severe stomach pain, found out I had appendicitis and had to go into surgery Monday morning. When I was recovering in my hospital room Saturday night, the owner of the company texts me to ask how I'm doing.
I tell him I'm pretty sore from the surgery, but that the morphine drip I'm on is making everything better. That's when it starts to get weird. He tells me "You sure are cute, hope things get better, I love your laugh." I didn't respond and he sent another message saying, "Really meant the cute part lol."
I just type back "Haha" and think it'll stop there. The he tells me, "It's the long eyelashes and the deep voice and funny laugh I luv." I didn't respond again, then in a few minutes he said, "Ok, that was a bit forward. Rest well, goodnight."
I'm at home, resting now. I'll probably be recovered and ready to go back to work next week. But I really don't want to go back under these circumstances, it's super weird. I have no idea what to do. Any ideas? | Boss texted me after my surgery and told me how cute he thought I was, it got awkward and even weirder. Now I don't know what to do when it's time to go back to work. |
t3_2n1835 | relationships | I [22F] has been thinking why too much about marriage with bf [25M] of 1 year and 10 months wayyyyyyy too much, advice in helping me get it off my mind. | Basically just like the title reads I have been thinking about marriage way too damn much and need a little advice to kind of get it off my mind and deal with it easier.
Now my boyfriend DOES what to get married with me and has told me and talked to me about it since the 3rd month of us dating with no problems and with him initiating the talks about it most of the time but lately I have been a little more pushy about talking with him about when we are going to get engaged than he would like. He does not get mad about it at all but simply tells me that it will happen when he feels ready.
Of course I should be okay with that and I do understand his reasoning for it but since I got on a birth control implant a few months ago I have been irrationally thinking about how long it's going to be until he proposes, the timeline he gives me is like a year or two until he pops the question so obviously that's not long I am just obviously being stupid about it.
I see constant Facebook posts of friends getting engaged and or married as well as ads and commercials so that doesn't help me in not thinking about it. Really I just need advice on how to irrationally stop thinking about all the damn time. | Boyfriend and I talk about marriage often and he is receptive to it but I am thinking about engagement and such more than I should and need help in not having in the forefront of my mind all the time. |
t3_2iqmwp | relationships | My [18M] girlfriend [16F] of 3 months has a tattoo and is considering another, and I am having trouble respecting her wanting to do so. | First, I know our ages and the short length of the relationship so far make this seem unimportant, but I really just want to be able to better understand how she can have a respectable reason for wanting a second tattoo.
Her first tattoo is very meaningful to her and reminds her of a short good time during a very dark period for her, so I can at least accept that although I dont like tattoos (the idea of them that is, I can appreciate the aesthetics on some people) it's at least for a good reason.
The next tattoo she wants to get on her butt simply because she likes how it looks, and this I am having a problem respecting. I know I have no right to say she shouldn't if she wants to but that doesn't help me respect her more for it, which is what I want to focus on.
Most of my problem is that I've just always disliked tattoos, I dont even have a really solid argument against them, I know many employers will hire someone with tattoos no problem, and it would be easy to hide if necessary. I just can't get past the idea of decorating your body permanently with something that seems really great now especially at such a young age, I certainly wouldn't trust myself to decide what kind of tattoo I would want and she is my equal as far as maturity.
Another thing that bothers me is that the reason she got her tattoo at 16 was that her dad (who is the opposite of a good influence and by no means what I'd refer to as a stand-up guy to put it lightly) has always told her that she could get a tattoo if she wanted to when she was 16 and he has a bunch of tattoos, so I almost fear she partly wanted to be like her dad, which is not a good idea. | please help me understand how my girlfriend can have a respectable reason (beyond it's her body her decision) for wanting a tattoo just for aesthetics (important distinction: aesthetics not art) |
t3_50eluk | relationships | I [19M] feel like I should break up with my girlfriend [19F] to fix our lives. | I don't feel like we are a good fit for one another. I have found that I am too dependent and clingy, and that she is very into her own independence. She really wants to keep the relationship going, and as of late has constantly been talking about marriage, but I don't really know how to let her know that the relationship just isn't working. We've been together for 9 months, living together for 9 months, and we have a dog together as of about 2 months ago. (The dog is under my name, she's an emotional service dog).
I feel that I personally work better without a SO because I am too paranoid about her cheating on me deep down to make the relationship last. On top of that, I have depression and anxiety that certainly don't make things better. She keeps trying to hold on, and won't let go of the relationship, and I'm unsure of whether or not I should stop moping and try to put the relationship back on track or just to end it once and for all. Am I just spineless, jealous and weak? | I feel like I should break up with my girlfriend to save her from myself, and I don't feel right about the relationship. |
t3_40g4kz | relationships | I [21F]found out my boyfriend [22M] lied about playing World of Warcraft, should i bring it up? | (background- ex used to play WOW and raided very frequently- 5 days a week and 6-10 hours on his day off. Put A LOT of strain on the relationship because he would ignore my texts for days sometimes, and would cancel last minute or just not show up to planned dates)
My bf of 4 months did not play wow when we first met however he mentioned a bunch of friends wanting to start raiding again. I told him about my ex and that I was worried that he would ignore me completely in favor of the game.
I'm not proud but i did cry a bit which resulted in him saying that he would never play it if I didn't want him to. The next morning I decided this was unfair and said that I didn't mind if he played occasionally (once or twice a week) and didn't turf our time together to raid instead.
He said that he didn't want to play, and that he was just feeling pressured by friends, he didn't say maybe it was a definite "no" to playing.
I noticed when using his pc that he had the WOW application and asked if he was having any fun with the game, he denied playing and said he downloaded it to appease his friends.
while browsing his fb feed (this is not abnormal for us, we both read each others feed and browse reddit together on either account) a msg popped up from one of the friends that was "pressuring" him into playing and it was asking something about why he hadn't been on that week (I didn't read it fully).
I don't understand why he felt the need to lie to me? Its not so much the game that hurts my feelings it's the lie, he has lied about other things too and has a history of lying (long term cheating on ex gf) so it makes me nervous about what else he's lying about. Should I bring it up? I don't want to sound like I'm accusing him of betraying me or something awful. | Boyrfriend said he would not play WOW, I said I didn't care if he played occasionally. Bf denied multiple times that he didnt play (proved a lie) even though I said I really didn't mind. |
t3_2s63ti | relationships | Me [21 F] going on a date with [27 M], we have talked for about 4 months, need help with how to act on a date + controlling body anxiety! | Hello guys, as the title says, Im going on a first date with a guy who I have met through OKCupid. We have talked for nearly 5 months now, and he suggested meeting before christmas (Lets call him Bob). I had exams early January, so wanted to wait till after, he thought that was a great idea, and actively helped me study, and gave examples from his PhD with how to answer the essay type questions.
We have a date this Wednesday evening after he finishes work.
A little background about me: Came out of a long term relationships last January, and gave myself time to fully get over the relationships which I realised was emotionally abusive. Now, I also suffered (and am now 'physically' recovered from) and eating disorder. I have told Bob about this, and he asked respectful questions about it, with my permission(?).
He was incredibly sweet, and it hasn't seemed to put him off. He comments on how beautiful my selfies are, but Im afraid when we first meet, my anxiety over my body weight will become too much of a stressor for him.
I would love some advice on how to not let this anxiety take over the date. I usually would sit with my jacket over my lap, covering my stomach when sitting, yet he plans to take us to a fancy restaurant, and I wouldn't want to seem like Im getting ready to get up and run!
Also, this is my first date in over 5 years, and Im not quite sure how a, for lack of a better word, 'adult' date works?
If you need anymore information, please don't hesitate to ask! Thank you :)
(Sorry for formatting, first post on here) | Going on first date in 5 years, don't know how to stop my body anxiety from ruining our date Also tips on what to expect/how to act on a date would be appreciated, thank you! |
t3_1g3k75 | self | im ruining my girlfriends vacation. | throwaway, for obvious reasons.
tomorrow i am breaking up with my girlfriend of 7+ months. it's going to be painful, and its going to suck for myself just as much as its going to suck for her.
were both 30, live in the same city, and are stable and sane. the short story is, im not happy. not entirely. while we do manage to make each other laugh and smile - im still feeling like somethings missing.
the real issue here is the timing. we're scheduled to leave for a weeklong vacation on thursday - the flights and hotels and arrangements have all been made. she has been looking forward to this trip for a long time, and now im going to ruin it completely for her, by breaking up with her only 48 hours before we're set to leave.
i dont think it's fair to her for me to come on this vacation and go through the motions the entire time. i dont think she deserves to come home thinking everything is fine, only to have it all blown apart. i figure that if the breakup is as terrible as i feel it might be, she can still go away for the week and try to get over it / distract herself / whatever.
somehow i cant help but feel im doing it wrong. | breakup immanent. weeklong vacation booked in the next 48 hours. not sure if should breakup before or after the trip. yay :/ |
t3_3lap5d | relationships | Me [22 M/F] with my GF [19 M/F] of 1 month, am I clinging? | Okay, so here's how it goes: Up until saturday Sept. 5th things went pretty damn perfect. We spent a lot of time together and I enjoyed every second of it. This means that we met around twice a week or more often depending on how much time she had. Then she had to start studiyng for exams and didn't have time for me which I've been able to deal with; however she did go out with friends on friday and didn't ask me if I wanted to come along. Now she has an "intership" towards her bachelor's degree and typically works from 9 in the morning till 6 in the evening. Okay, I think, that doesn't leave a lot of time either and that's what she tells me when I ask if she has time, yet she does go to the cinema with friends on thursday and stays at home (her family lives further away) during the weekend and hasn't even given me an indication of when we might possibly meet again...
So in short, she says she doesn't have time, yet finds time to do the things she wants to. What I haven't mentioned yet is that during these times she also is very hard to talk to in WhatsApp for example as well, by which I mean our conversations are very one-sided towards my end. Yet I can see that she's online a lot, so she definitely is talking with some people. For example today I didn't write anything and she hasn't said a single thing yet (3PM in the afternoon).
Am I too demanding here? It seems to me that she just doesn't have time for me or isnt't interested in talking to me etc. | Girlfriend says she doesn't have time for me but has time for other things. Isn't really talking to me either but is online a lot. Am I too demanding? |
t3_36e17d | relationships | Am I [M18] wrong to stay with her [F18]? | My girlfriend of 7 months went home for the weekend (we live in dorms in college) and then told me her best friend (also ex-boyfriend) tried to kiss her. She did very well and told him no, but she says she is still friends with him and even though she said no he will probably try again because he's "a guy" and I "just need to learn to live with it". I can see a future with her, but I can't see a future with that asshole following her around for who knows how long. She wants me to forgive him but in my eyes, what he did was just as bad as cheating and that is unforgivable. She told me I can't talk to him at all which may or may not be a good thing. Over the summer, she will be home for 3 months and her only friend back home is him, so she tells me there is no way she will just tell him to leave her alone. We had about an 8 hour argument over text about this and we cane to the "agreement" that over the summer she will "hold him off" but won't tell me if he tries again. I starting to feel like this relationship is more stressful than it's worth. I love her a lot though, and I'm just very confused. What do you all think. Should I stay or let her go? | my girlfriend has a pursuer who she thinks won't stop pursuing her and i just have to be okay with it and okay with her talking to him constantly. |
t3_tjxzm | AskReddit | My older brother is a former drug-dealer, has 2 children and girlfriend to attend to. He just graduated college and is still pursuing higher education and climbing the ranks of his new job. Reddit, who pushes you indirectly to strive in life? | Around the time of his high school years, he started selling weed, which wasn't that terrible, but still not good. He was never the one to actually use drugs, he only sold them (I know, it sounded a bit ironic to me.) But after a while, he escalated to cocaine and such, and that got out of hand. Selling to a neighbor, who nearly died of an overdose. That's when he cut the line of his ways, and soon after that he was expecting a baby boy. He got off his ass, and went to pick up a real job at 16, because of the embarrassment he didn't want to face by not being able to properly provide for his child(ren). After the baby was born, he continued in high school, eventually graduated with 2 scholarships on his belt. Carried on to college, and in the middle of his second year, he was expected a baby girl. He upgraded his supermarket job, to a bank, where he was able to be provided enough of an income to provide for his girlfriend, schooling, his baby and his upcoming baby girl. Three months ago, she was born, and last month he graduated. He's moving on to a university in Florida, and maintains stability in his life.
He showed me that no matter how bad situations seem, you have to keep your cool. You can't give up because things look bad. Not many people would have expected him to even graduate high school. He had a "crew" in a way, just 2 very good friends of his that were as bad, if not worse, than he was. One's in prison, serving 15 years, while the other took matters into his own hand, after seeing my brother's accomplishments, and joined the military. I'm glad to have someone that indirectly pushes me to strive in life, and I'd interested to know if Reddit has anyone like that in their life | Brother was a dealer, left his ways as a "gangster" for his GF and son in high school, now maintains stability in his life |
t3_1nxbh7 | relationship_advice | She (19F) left me (20M) confused, not sure whether to cut ties or to cut her some slack. | We dated for a three months and we had a great time during it, however she's become depressed lately. When I asked why, she told me about her ex (how he's not doing too well without her) and that she feels sorry for him. Honestly, ever since then she's been more and more depressed, essentially taking on his depression onto herself. Our relationship took a turn for the worse because of this, she started canceling on me whenever I asked to take her out and I've been getting frustrated - if she wants to end our relationship why doesn't she tell me?
I need advice on whether or not I should permanently put this relationship hold and stay as friends. Thanks in advance. | Dated for several months, she becomes depressed because her ex bf misses her, she dosnt hang out anymore with me. End it or wait? |
t3_1tzqk6 | relationships | My [32 M] girlfriend [30 F] of 2 years, is now annoyed by my advances, how do I change my approach so that I am not perceived as overly affectionate/smothering? | Hey everybody! I need some advice.
My girlfriend and I have been working on our relationship for a while now, and are super into communication, and are often talking about the hard to talk about things. She is a no-b/s kind of lady who has some pretty sensitive pet peeves concerning being touched. I am a super affectionate guy who loves to touch/hold hands/etc.. but don't overly do it (not big on PDA, but cheek kisses are one of my favs).
She has been getting more and more distant lately, and has avoided being touched more often than not. Should I be worried, what changes should I make that would be better for her? I have been patient and tried to be uber-aware of my actions, but seem to always make her upset while trying to make things easier on her. I'm just at the end of my idea list for how to make the most of this, without feeling a bit neglected. | My girlfriend of 2 years seems to be repulsed by my advances, is there a better way for me to approach this? |
t3_2mxqyr | tifu | TIFU by getting my sweater confiscated in school | So today I got stopped in the halls by our scary dean of students, because I was wearing a sweatshirt. I go to a catholic school and there are lots of rules, like wearing sweatshirts isn't allowed during school. Unfortunately, my phone was in my sweatshirt when I took it off and it fell out, so he proceeded to confiscate that as well. When they take phones they take them to the front office and charge you $20 for it back at the end of the day. So I'm one of those rare people that has their phone set to never fall asleep and unfortunately it was on when it fell out. When he looked at my phone and saw my screen he looked like he was ready to kill me. Somebody had photoshopped a picture of him and made him look like a transvestite. He had a tight-fitting dress on and to top it off a pair of old wrinkly balls was hanging out from below the dress, it was very well done. So, unfortunately, he assumed I made the picture and I am now facing Saturday detentions (detentions in school uniform on Saturdays from 8 am-12 pm where they force you to clean the school for the entire time) for the rest of the year. I would put the picture up to mess with the fucker, but he still has my phone and he also forced me to delete it. | Don't set your phone to never fall asleep and get it taken away by a 6"4' scary academic dean that doesn't respect your privacy. |
t3_40ex5l | relationships | My [F23] fiance [M24] of 2.5 years hates my family. We live with them... | This is really hard for me to type out and know where to start. Basically, we live in an expensive area that we can't afford yet, so we live with my family so that I can help take care of my dad who is sick. I'm extremely close with my whole family and they mean the world to me.
My fiance hates some of them. We live in a house where you can hear someone all the way on the other side of the house talking on the phone, it's a very open house. My mom also just happens to be a loud person, without realizing how loud she is. I'll ask her to be more quiet and she'll apologize and will remember for a day, but then she's forgotten. They won't allow my fiance to keep certain foods in the house (pig meat). My fiance feels like they're constantly waking only him up, while they're always shushing him not to wake up my sister's kids, (who spend a lot of time here), but feels like they don't care about his sleep at all.
I've picked up more hours at work to try to save to move out. He says he just wants me to acknowledge his feelings and agree with him, and in many aspects I do agree, and have told him so, as they are loud people without meaning to be. He wants me to talk to them and I have asked them to be quieter. But that doesn't stick, and they won't change the rules on the food. They're letting us live here for free while we save, and we'll hopefully move out within 7 months, but I'm unsure if he can make it that long.
I understand for him that it must be hard, they're very different from his own parents, and can be in your face and in your business. Ideally we'd like our own place. But right now we just can't afford to. He's always so unhappy and it's hard for me to see him so unhappy. Am I being a spineless person who needs to stand up for him? I feel like I'm being forced to choose. | My fiance and I have lived with my family for 9 months. He feels they are inconsiderate of his feelings/sleep and hates most of them. I love them and feel like I have to choose. |
t3_tsk0a | relationships | I don't know if I should trust him or bring it up to him | So we have been going out for 8 months and he's graduating while I still have 2 more years in college (He's 23 and I'm 21).
The story here is that I was using his phone the other day and it was open to a text with a girl I don't know asking her if she had thought about the past summer at all (before we were dating) she responded that she did once or twice and he responded "likewise". I closed the phone and I tried my hardest to put it aside. A couple hours later I thought to look at it again because I might have overreacted or read it wrong and I found that those specific texts with her were deleted but the rest of their conversation was still there.
I don't know really how I feel about it or how to approach this. I want to let it go but I feel like I can't and I'm a little hurt. Should I trust him and just pretend that I never saw the text or if I should bring it up to him and ask why it is that he's deleting things and trying to keep things from me. Oh you should know that him and I use each other's phones and don't mind each other seeing texts normally. | I saw a text from another girl that was deleted later, should I let it go or should I bring it up to him? |
t3_4ls3gl | relationships | I [19 M] have been with my GF [20 F] for a year and a half and last night i went to the strip club... | Last night i went to the stripclub. Me and my girlfriend have talked about this and she said she didn't really like the idea but she would be ok with it. When i was getting a dance the stripper pecked me on the lips, and i pecked back, fuck.
i dont know why i did this, unless it was down to the huge amount of alcohol (I know its not an excuse). i love her to bits, and i would never of seen this coming in a million years.
Im guessing i need to tell her? but atm she is working away from home and im not going to see her for at least another 3 weeks. She is under alot of stress with her job and i dont want to put her under anymore pressure/stress.What should i do? | A stripper pecked me on the lips, i pecked back. Girlfirend is stressed from working away, im not going to see her for 3 weeks. should i tell her? |
t3_4bs5in | relationships | Me [27 M] with my SO[25 F] have been dating 2 years | Me and my SO have been having some issue lately that having been stemming from some life situations that we are both experiencing. Most of the issue is coming from what she is experiencing though. She has had some maintenance due on her car for a while and has been putting it off. Well the inspection came up so now everything that needs to be done has to be done in 18 days. This has been causing some slight issue but nothing major.
On top of this, she has been going to teaching school. Part of the requirements for teaching school are doing teaching hours. The school requires you get them done from Jan - April of you first semester. I was asking her about how the teaching hours are going today and she informs me that she has only done the 5 I basically pushed her into doing. Now she only has 5 weeks to complete 25 hours, she can for sure get it done but it will be way more difficult.
From my point of view her issue is that she keeps putting things off. I have mentioned that while this worked often in her college days this will no longer cut it in adult life. However I don't think thats really going over to well. We are not constantly fighting or anything. I just want to know the best ways I can help her out. I am not sure what is and is not helping. When we are having talks she often say she feels like I am lecturing her and doesn't like this. Also worth noting is that it is upsetting me that she refuse to take more responsibility even though it is clearly upsetting me. | Having issue with my girlfriend procrastinating really important things and I want to know how to best help her while keeping our relationship in tact. |
t3_37wzgb | relationship_advice | I [25/M] like a (21/F) who I have only seen at school events. Now that school is over, what do I do? | I have seen this girl a handful of times (5 or 6) at school events but have never seen her anywhere else. Each time I saw her we spoke a few sentences to each other but no actual meaningful conversation. She was always surrounded by a bunch of friends and she would work the events so I couldn't pull her away from work to talk to her.
I know through mutual friends of friends that she is single. However, school is over in a week and no other events are planned so I basically won't ever see her again. I would like to ask her to coffee, but the only way I can do that is if I message her on Facebook... however we are NOT friends on Facebook so I'm afraid she would be weirded out by that.
What options do I have? Facebook message her? What would I say? Ask one of our mutual friends of friends to talk to her in some way to see if she knows who I am and would be interested? Just face defeat?
Thanks for the advice! | I like a girl I have only said a few sentences to. Now that school is over, I won't ever see her again most likely. What can I do to ask her to coffee? Facebook? Friend connections? Etc. |
t3_463bzn | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [22 M], is he going to be like The Danish Girl | Before I say anything about my relationship, I'm going to clarify first that I have absolutely nothing against homosexuality, transgenders, or any sexuality at all. If I by accident offend anyone with my post, I apologize in advance.
When I got together with my boyfriend around three years ago, I revealed to him my sexual history, which I had felt a bit ashamed of as I had been rather promiscuous in the past. To my surprise, he was completely fine with my past and did not judge me whatsoever. To my even greater surprise, he confessed that, despite being a virgin, he had had oral sex with his male friend once before. This was not something I expected to hear, especially as he came off as slightly homophobic before to me. Like I said, I have nothing against gays or bisexuals, and I don't think that he did anything wrong. Still, dating someone who has a homosexual side is simply not something that I am attracted too (which is entirely my own problem). Anyways, since he had been so accepting of my own history, I just told him that I didn't mind at all and he reassured me that he was straight and it was a one time thing.
Besides his one-time experimentation, another thing that concerns me is his interest in trying on makeup and sexy dresses once in a while when he comes over and I'm putting them on for a night out. I think it's good fun for him to try them on, but I can't help but wonder in the back of my mind if this interest of his implies anything else.
I watched the Danish Girl recently (hence the title) and I just kept wondering about my boyfriend's sexuality throughout the movie. Yeah, I could just straight out ask him, but I don't want him to feel ashamed for sharing his secrets with me. I think he would be very reluctant to tell me his feelings if he knew that I had these worries.
Besides that, another concern of mine is that I feel less attracted to him after knowing about his experimentation with his friend and his interest in crossdressing. I feel guilty for feeling this way. Is there anyone who could give me some advice on this? | Boyfriend had a brojob with friend before and likes to crossdress. These make me feel less attracted to him and make me concerned about his sexuality. Would like advice. |
t3_gc4i3 | BreakUps | About to break up with my cohabiting gf; help! | I've (27M) been together with my girlfriend (25) for almost two years, and I'm to the point where I know it isn't going to work out in the long term, and I'd like to break up and move on. The problems, however, are that:
* we're living together (only my name's on the lease)
* she got rid of her apartment a few months ago (against my preferences, and with the promise of it being a very temporary situation)
* she's very emotionally invested in the relationship and is likely to handle the breakup badly
* her financial standing and local support network is weak
* I like her, and would like to avoid as much pain for her as possible
Any thoughts on how to manage the breakup in light of those issues? How do I go about getting her to move out of my apartment, and how best can I handle the logistics (she'll need somewhere to stay, move a bunch of crap, etc). Thanks for the help! | I need to break up with my GF, but she's living with me. How can I best resolve the housing situation? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.