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t3_3cffxz | relationships | FINAL UPDATE: She [23/F] my girlfriend/bestfriend of 1.5/4 years just broke up with me [25/M] | [Original Post]( | Took the unpopular advice, it went exactly like that, had a great trip, got some peace and still get along well on the platonic level with my ex-girlfriend. No contact isn't always the right choice. |
t3_eakw6 | AskReddit | Is someone willing to wear a dosimeter badge and go through the new backscatter scanners to see how much radiation they're actually exposed to? | After seeing the Science Friday repost about how TSA workers aren't allowed to wear dosimeters, I started reading up on the scanners in use and it appears there are discrepancies between the TSA claims for dosage, and the manf. claims for dosage on the devices. I was wondering if there would be any issues with a traveler wearing one while going through the airport in the next few weeks.
Anyone willing to take the risk of of wearing a dosimeter to get actual numbers from a real life scan? | After reading up on the hardware in use because of another post on Reddit, I found that the TSA and the manufacturer are citing different exposure numbers, would anyone be willing to wear a dosimeter to find out which is correct?* |
t3_wy444 | dating_advice | Age differences - worth pursuing? | So, a little back-story here. I'm a 40-year-old female, on OKC, and while I've been out on a few dates with guys my own age (35-45ish) most of them seem to be either hyperfocused on OMG MUST HAVE BABIES NAO, are so high-maintenance or co-dependent that it's a total turn-off, are sexual cold fish, internet clueless, or who are just stuffy and boring as hell. The few I would have connected with just didn't seem to have chemistry, sadly.
Meanwhile, I've been getting a lot of messages from guys who are in the 25-35 year old range. More often than with my age range, we seem to have things in common - video games, cartoons (Futurama, anime), hitting dive bars and doing drunken karaoke, silly dates like go-karts or drive-ins, etc. The thing is that I know I can't physically compete with a girl in their age range. That's just a fact of life. I'm older, and gravity is what it is.
So, the question is this. Would guys in that age range actually consider getting into a serious relationship with someone my age? Or is it, as I suspect, younger men looking for cougar sugar mamas/casual sex/someone fun for now? (I'd be more of a splenda auntie--I love my job but it pays for sh*t.) Should I take the chance and go out with a few of them? Or am I better off holding out for someone in my own age range who hasn't quite surrendered his ability to play and have fun? | 40/f finding 35-45/m dates incredibly boring for the most part. Getting lots of notes from 25-35/m. Want to date towards developing LTR. Should I consider dating younger guys? |
t3_3szh1d | relationship_advice | How can I (28f) be gently critical when it comes to my boyfriend (26m) | My boyfriend has some real issues when it comes to me "criticizing" him in any way. I know this comes from the way his dad (who's very narcissistic) criticized him constantly when he was growing up.
Any time I say anything that he perceives as critical he gets sulky and defensive. At this point with 95% of things I just don't even say anything. If it doesn't directly effect me I keep my mouth shut. And I'm generally fine with this, because really I don't need to have an opinion about a lot of things.
But there are two things that I really feel I should tell him. The first is his breath. I don't know what's changed but over the last two weeks his breath has been really bad. Other than the offensive smell this doesn't effect me, but I also don't want him to be embarrassed if say a coworker tells him.
The second is that he is doing something that is really damaging his car, he shifts out of reverse with out completely stoping. I can feel the clunk when it hard shifts, and his car is beginning to have transition issues. I love him, and I don't want him to have to go through having to pay 1,500 to replace the tranny on a car that's got 40,000 miles on it.
I need ideas on how to bring these things up. I know if I say "hey dude your breath stinks, I love you!" He'll react badly... The only idea I have for the car is saying I found an article on Reddit blah blah... But even then it's a gamble. | my boyfriend has bad breath and is breaking his car. He's overly sensitive to criticism from me and I don't know how to tell him. |
t3_3mrdu7 | relationships | My Indian GF [17] Refuses to tell her parents about me [M18] | We've been together for around 8 months now and I've always understood that coming from an affluent family she cant be 'dating a white boy'.
I've met her parents on numerous occasions under the guise of tutoring her for maths so they know I'm her friend but nothing more and have seemed like genuinely nice people. However,
she frequently talks about how her mom would have to 'pull her out of that situation' in regards to dating a non Indian.
It' been too long for me to continue as some secret and I want her family to know but am of course afraid that she's right | Rich Indian gf refuses to tell her fam about me, her white boyfriend and I don't want to be a secret. |
t3_41pqkx | relationships | I[28 M] have been dating her[24F] for 4 months. Her texts have become less frequent. What's wrong? | I met her online and we went out for dinner with an open understanding that we were taking a chance.
We liked each other's company - used to text a lot - as soon as we woke up -> to when we started for work-> after coming back from work -> till sleeping.
This is how it was from the start. During this course we went out few more times. Its all very good - nothing wrong at the surface. Healthy flirting and no one said "I love you" sort of thing yet. But we still go out on dates.
But now the texts from her have become less and less frequent. I either get a reply to my text the next day or I do not get at all. I asked her what's wrong - she said she was just busy with her life.
I really hate to entertain this thought but is she interested just because I take her to expensive outings etc?
She works at the same place as before, I know she's online on chat but I don't get texts from her like earlier. I can't believe that she is so busy that she can't even text once during a day, forget about the multiple texts we exchanged earlier. Is there a sign - no interest etc?
What should I do?
- Go on more dates assuming she's really busy?
- I accept that she ain't interested in me anymore?
I like her though and once told her in passing as we were just getting started. She never ever told me so outright.
If the case is she doesn't like me in that sense or is bored of me but is afraid to say it to my face, then I don't see what's the point of going out anymore. | Met a girl -> texted a lot -> went out a lot -> texts have dried up -> get infrequent replies -> Is this a sign? |
t3_1uckib | relationship_advice | My (30/f) boyfriend (25) pretended to choke me on New Years Eve but says he was just kidding. Am I overreacting? | We've been together about 2 months. We went out on New Years and started the night by hanging at a friend's house and having some drinks before we went downtown to watch the ball drop. He had 4 or 5 shots the first hour we were there, which was fine. It was New Years and we were there to party. I'm only including that information because it may be relevant.
So we're just hanging out and he starts negging me and teasing me, which isn't a new thing, although it is annoying at times. We were going back and forth, calling each other names and being playful. Not a big deal. I don't remember exactly what I said, but he then said "I'll choke the shit out of you." I brushed it off and kind of rolled my eyes and said "Yeah yeah sure you will." That's when he grabbed my throat and squeezed, not hard enough to make it hard to breathe, but hard enough that I couldn't get his hand away. I was a little shocked, mostly because he didn't stop after I said "Stop!" several times. He eventually let me go and I just sort of laughed it off but on the inside I was like "wtf just happened?"
This is not the first time something similar to this has happened. He's pretended to punch me in the face before but stopped an inch away from my face. He play fights a lot and will smack me (not hard) in the face or choke me a little. I always kind of freeze up when he does it and just laugh it off like it doesn't bother me.
I talked to him yesterday about New Years and told him that it made me very uncomfortable. He says he was just joking around, but I don't know. It seems like an odd way to joke around. Am I overreacting here? He's never been truly violent with me or hurt me and he's sweet otherwise. So I'm sort of at a loss. | Bf "pretended" to choke me and it kind of freaked me out. Not sure if I'm overreacting.* |
t3_yzym2 | tifu | TIFUpdate: I can hear again! | Here's my original post from a week ago:
Basically, I stuck a q-tip in my ear, shoved some wax deep into my ear canal, and could hardly hear anything for a week. Well, I'm very pleased to say that my ear has cleared up. I kept applying drops of hydrogen peroxide and carbamide peroxide, and I used a bulb syringe to squirt water into my ear and get out the wax. One day, after several days of treatment, I squirted the water into my ear, and several huge globs of earwax poured out into the sink--immediately, my hearing became crystal clear. Funny enough, the ear which had hardly worked at all suddenly became twice as sensitive as the other ear! So, I decided to apply the drops in the other ear (the one which I thought was working fine) and, sure enough, after a couple treatments the wax came pouring out and my hearing became much clearer. Now I must have some kind of super-hearing :p | Don't use q-tips. Use carbamide or hydrogen peroxide and a bulb syringe to flush out ear wax, it may just give you super-hearing like me. |
t3_392353 | tifu | TIFU by being a woman... | This happened last night. Last. Effing. Night.
I have recently undergone a lot of changes and I've started dating. Which I hate. I hate dating - it is the worst goddamned sport ever. I have a hard time finding people I click well with and usually I just run into people that are clingy as fuq and need a goddamned adjustment. Or people aren't interested in me. Whatever, we all have our problems.
So imagine my surprise when I encountered someone that I don't want to stab in the face? We met online, I really prefer to screen you before dealing with you, and ended up connecting very well.
Flash forward a few weeks and we really like each other. We've been absolutely torturing each other this whole time and it has been difficult... to be nice to people. Seriously. She-hulk over here... anyways he is going through a divorce right now and I'm not looking for a relationship/t per say, but I am gonna go ahead and skip the string of one night stands and find a good "friend". :0
So the divorce part is leaving this man with some conflicted feelings - again I understand. I've offered to let him deal with his shit and just take a stage left so he can clear his head. I got shit to do. He's made it clear he doesn't want that. And I don't really either, we both kind of fucked this up already by genuinely liking each other.
WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!
We carefully made plans (we both have children) after the first one fell through and everything was in place for A-GO. (I should really add that the first time fell through because his kid decided to get an appendicitis and needed surgery.)
*and then... and then I went home to change my clothes and get my hair fierce and my face fierce and... and....*
IT came... that bitch with the red face and the unpleasantness... RIGHT WHEN I WAS CHANGING MY CLOTHES AND THERE IT WAS, LAUGHING AT ME AND MY CAREFULLY LAID PLANS.
I was so pissed... I cried. | by being a woman... who couldn't hold back the tides of nature. Telling this story almost makes me want to cry all over again... :''( |
t3_4t2kow | relationships | [17 M] Could use some help making things easier for my ex from a 6 month relationship [17 F] | Hey,
I'm a 17y/o male who broke up with his 17y/o gf of 6 months. I was the one who ended things. We actually started souring apart atleast a month before that. She and I were incompatible. What she believed in and what I believed in were completely different.
Although she hasn't been taking the split too well. It's gotten to the point where one might call her obsessed. She occasionally calls me, and makes a teary-eyed case about how she loves me and wants me back, while I coldly tell her that it would never happen.
She isn't even ready to accept that there could be a life without me. I am afraid of even trying to explain things to her, lest she take everything in a false manner and spiral the situation out of control.
I don't need to be told that crushing her heart at this age is a forgivable act at all, but the fact is, she and I are poisonous to each other. Staying as far away as possible is the best course of action here, in my opinion.
Is there anything I can say, or get others to say, that will help her get over the past?
Thanks. | Broke up with gf 4 months ago, she can't get over it; could use help having her get over it so that we can part ways. |
t3_1bqdk2 | relationships | I (22m) fell in love with a girl from Ireland (22f) | Sorry for the novel!
So about two years ago I met a girl in my apartment complex from Ireland. Her and a group of about 10 other students from the UK were working at my university doing cancer research for a work-study program at their schools. I should mention I live in the US. I was hooked on her from day one and we dated for a year and a few months. Till she had to go back home.
To say it sucks would be the understatement of the year. I completely fell in love with this girl and having her move half way across the world broke my heart. I just haven't been happy since the day she left, and that was over 8 months ago. We still talk almost every day and I know she feels the same, even though we try not to depress each other with talk of it.
I went to visit her for two weeks a little bit back and it was honestly the best two weeks I can remember ever having. Coming back to the US hurt just as much as seeing her leave the first time. The kicker is though, we are both still in university. I don't finish my degree for another year, maybe year and a half. She is starting her PhD at the end of this summer and won't be finished for another three years minimum.
I don't know what to do or how to deal with things. The only way we could be together involves a MAJOR life relocation and change on one of our parts, probably my end since I finish school first. So I guess I'm just kind of seeking some advice on how to handle all this. We aren't currently "dating," but I mean neither of us have any interest in anyone other than each other. I want to be with this girl but I don't know what to do. Any help? | Fell in love with a girl who lives in another country and we both are in school for quite sometime still. Could really use some advice :/ |
t3_2txpik | relationships | Me [25F] with my FWB [27 M] over a year, want to stop but go to the same gym | We've been FWBs for over a year. It had it's ups and downs but we've settled into a good groove. We're both fucking other people as well, but we've come to an agreement that everyone else is condom and we're bare. However, a couple months ago he had an STD scare and it made me realize that he's probably not holding up on his side of the bargain. I'm not that comfortable fucking him anymore, and other things in the past just makes me not fully trust him when he says he's not fucking other people bare. I want to pass it off as I want to look for something more than fwb (not with him) instead of saying "you're clearly fucking other girls bare and I'm not stoked about that". However, we both go to the same MMA gym and I don't really know how awkward it will get. I definitely don't want to change gyms as I love the environment there. I guess it only gets as awkward as you make it. Should I tell him truly why I want to stop or do the looking for something else deal? Any tips on the gym part? | FWB is fucking other girls bare when we agreed on condoms if fucking others. Want to end but we go to the same MMA gym. |
t3_2yhgt7 | relationships | Me [21F] met a [25?M] at a party as a one night stand thing, suddenly we're texting each other and I'm not sure if I should | So I know this guy from my course who's a few years older than me. We must have been on the same line of thought because Friday there was a huge party and we got things going... in a car.
We hardly know each other, just a bit, but it just sort of happened.
None of us have any regrets and frankly I really like this guy.
I'm trying to keep it casual but really want to get to know him better.
However I do not know how much texting or communicating is enough or too much, we text a couple of times a day, and the last time I saw him was the day after the party (Saturday) and will be seeing him again to just talk on Wednesday.
I'm confused because I've never done anything like this in my life but I feel great with it and he's a really sweet guy for the short time I've known him. | Met a guy at a one night stand, we're both new to what we did, I'm not sure if he's into me or notm I am but not sure if I'm exaggerating, what should I be doing? |
t3_4m6tow | relationships | I [23/F] am uncomfortable with how much more my lady friend [27/f] cares about me than I do about her | Alright, yes, I know it sounds like the worst kind of humble brag (guys, she just constantly tells me how great I am and how much she likes me, poor me), but it's really getting to the point where I'm thinking about having a talk about not seeing one another anymore.
We've been seeing one another about four months now. It's completely open, and I said from the start that I didn't want any kind of primary relationship. She has a girlfriend and a few other friends with benefits; I'm getting precisely what I need from our bimonthly liaisons, but have the option to see other people if I want.
Initially, it was great. Once a week or fortnight, we'd go do something or get a drink, fuck, and then go our separate ways. There were polite "You can stay the night if you like"s, and friendly goodbyes in the morning.
But over the last month or so, she's started getting a bit more romantic. She was always super complimentary of my looks, but it started moving from purely sexual appreciation to more general romantic compliments. I'm getting texts wanting to know how my day is going and invites to stuff with her friends. I've been avoiding her after I woke up last time and she said "I love waking up to you, you look so lovely in the mornings" and I was almost repulsed.
This isn't what I signed up for. I don't want to hurt her, because she seems nice, but I don't want a girlfriend. I'm not the girlfriend having type. I've only had two crushes in my life, both brief, and I'm friends with them both still. I've never had any desire for a romantic partner, and I don't like that she seems to be taking it that way.
Is there a way to shift this back? If I have to end it, what's the best way to say that I don't like you romantically when you're four months into a relationship? We have to stay at least friendly acquaintances, since it's a small town, especially for the poly queer types. | One girl grew to really like the other girl. Other girl broadcast that that wasn't her jam from day one, and is now dismayed by the sudden change. |
t3_tghpv | relationships | Strip club confusion. (X-post from relationships_advice) | I recently found out that my boyfriend of two years (20, me F 20), was kind of pressured into getting a lap dance by his friends, who also paid for it. He says he was uncomfortable from the moment he walked into the club, but did it anyway so he wasn't ruining the night out. He says he felt wrong being in that place.
This makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I hate the prospect of strip clubs and never wanted my other half to have some complete stranger who's 10x better looking than I dancing all over him for money. I understand he is young and young people like to try these things, I'm not angry at him in no way, and he knows that. I guess I just feel as if all this time the lads he was with have been laughing at the fact its been hidden from me, I'm upset that he felt pressured to do it, and just in general upset that he got a lapdance, it makes me feel worthless.
But I'm still unsure on whether he was actually uncomfortable with going into the club, or if he is saying that to me so I don't think he liked it, what guy wouldn't like a gorgeous haf naked girl dancing all over him? I feel as if I'm being stupid for being upset over this. I don't know what I'm doing, I am a very insecure person and I feel worse, please help. | Boyfriends friends brough him a lap dance, made im uncomfortable, I found out and I now feel uncomfortbale. |
t3_bdhg1 | AskReddit | Reddit, can weak/dead batteries provide inaccurate data on a measurement device? | My girlfriend is a graduate student studying Athletic Training/Kinesiology. Her thesis involves testing various ankle taping techniques and the effectiveness of each in restricting range of motion.
The machine she's using was created by the university and measures the angle of the ankle during inversion/eversion and dorsi-/plantarflexion. It uses two 9v batteries, which constantly die. She asked her director if they could rig it so it uses AC power, but was told they would have to apply for a patent on the device. She's worried her data may be affected from this. Is there such a patent law? And would data (angles displayed from the sensors) be different with full vs weak batteries? | Does a device require a patent in order to plug it into the wall? And would a device for measuring angles of ankle flexion provide bad data with weak batteries? |
t3_kwjis | self | The guy I replaced at work died of cancer.....it gets worse. | So I work for an IT company and just recently a guy I was replacing died of cancer. The last time I saw him was at a nursing facility he was in charge of. He had been out that day and wasn't supposed to know I was there picking up his slack. The guy was on multiple pain killers and was out of it pretty bad. Well he shows up and immediately asked why I was there and that this was his area of work and not mine....guy was pissed off in short. So he dies later that week and I had to go through his notebooks where he kept extensive notes. So I get to the most recent notebook and read his last entry before he died. After "fixed mds and admin's print issues" there it was....the last fucking word he writes before he dies is my god dam name. Talk about feeling like shit for the past 2 months. Anybody else have something similar happen? Could possibly make me feel less like a douche? | Guy I replaced at work dies of cancer and writes my name as his last entry in notes I had to go through for network info. |
t3_2g17q2 | relationships | Me [30 M], practically no experience, wonders if it is too late to start learning | I am a 30m who, due to a couple of stupid decisions made in high school has practically speaking, no experience in the dating/significant other scene. The last time I had anything close to a serious significant other relationship was 8 years ago in college. I am not a social basket case as I am a master at turning girls into friends, it is almost instinctual at this point.
After turning 30 and evaluating my life and some serious conversations with some good friends, I realize that I have missed out on a lot in life by not having had any serious significant other type relationships and I would like that to change. However I wonder if it is too late. I have the dating skills of someone who is half my age or younger and from talking to my friends and to the women that I have been attracted too (I am straight) who are in my cohort tend to have certain expectations i.e. they haven't been attracted to men who have the dating social skills of a young teenager.
However the glimmer of hope that I have is that on paper I could be a good match if I can get my act together. I am fairly attractive physically (apparently I got great eyes), I run several times a week so I have stayed in decent shape, I am educated (masters degree) and although I am not a candidate for MENSA neither am I dumb as a post. I am a pretty good listener and I can make people laugh. Also I have traveled and lived overseas so I like to think that I am becoming pretty open minded about life.
However that all comes with the huge asterisk of "has practically no relationship experience" aside from friendships. It is so bad that it is basically a struggle just to get to Date 1. So Hive Mind, what's your take? Can a 30yo learn the lessons and skills that he should have learned in high school or should he join ForeverAlone and make his peace with it? Does the Hive Mind know anyone in similar situations that managed to rescue themselves? | 30m has basically zero dating experience, wonders if it is too late to learn or should consider the monastic life on top of a mountain |
t3_4ewd0o | tifu | TIFU by getting angry at noisy kids | Today I was watching Huntsman: Winter War at the cinemas with a popcorn in one hand and a frozen coke in the other, it was the perfect day. That was until about 10 minutes into the movie, I hear a bunch of kids making random sound effects. It stops and starts for the next 30 minutes. I do not like confrontation whatsoever but I refused to let some stupid kids who have no manners ruin Emily Blunt for me. In order to not make a scene, I leave my seat, walk up the aisle to where the kids are sitting and spotted a lady that I assumed was their guardian/ parent. I whisper softly 'Hi, sorry to be annoying but I'm just sitting 6 rows down and I'm finding the noise that your kids keep making to be quite distracting. Would you mind telling them to tone it down just till the movie is over?'. The lady responds 'I'm so so sorry that they have been disruptive. I'm a volunteer from a local carer group and today is our movie day out. I will try and tell them to keep it down!'. She seemed like the absolute sweetest lady ever. I thank her for understanding and look up to make eye contact with some of the kids. It turns out this lovely lady was taking her group of Down Syndrome kids on a fun movie trip. I feel absolutely horrible, they don't need people like me to make their life even tougher.
The worst part is after the movie the lady came up to me and apologised again. I proceeded to apologise for the next 5 minutes for being an inconsiderate asshole. | TIFU by confronting the adult about her disruptive children in the cinemas, turns out it was volunteer taking a group of Down syndrome kids out for a movie day. |
t3_340zi2 | relationship_advice | [19M] My friends best friend kissed my ex [19f] and made things weird. | Hey so my ex and I broke up three weeks ago. Two of those weeks were no contact. During that time she kissed my friends best friend a few times (they all live in the same dorm) , but since a week ago we have been seeing each other exclusively. Now just hanging out with her and my friend in her dorm I'm bound to see him. I'm just wondering what you guys think on how I should act around him. We did hangout sometimes while me and my ex were together so it seems like a violation of the bro code. But it was weird because it always seemed like he was crushing on her the whole time. I'm compelled to ignore him but that might be awkward especially if we are on the same intramural team. I'm just not sure how to act so any help would be appreciated. | ex becomes ex, ex kisses friends best friend a few times. Ex becomes close again. What to do about friends best friend if I see him. |
t3_34gc1i | tifu | TIFU by being in a hurry while getting ready | Just happened, not a big fuck up but I feel pretty stupid, so here it is.
I rushed home after work to get ready to meet my SO for dinner. I just needed to shower and change clothes but my contacts have been bothering me for 3 or 4 days (left eye has been blurry) so I decided to put new ones in too.
In a rush I threw my old ones in the trash and got two new ones out. My eyes have different prescriptions, the left has an astigmatism which requires a special lense, so I double checked that I was putting them in the correct eye.
The right one was perfect and felt great (anyone with disposal contacts knows how great new ones feel). My left eye was still really blurry and bothering me like the old contact. Oh well, sometimes the astigmatism lenses take a while to align correctly with your eye and it can be blurry.
Five minutes later it was still bad so I took the new lense out, rinsed it and tried again. Still blurry. Shit, this is annoying. Guess I'll shower quick and see if it aligns. Nope.
Shit shit shit. What's wrong with my contact? What's wrong with my eye?! Eye problems run in my family (mom almost had a retina detach once), did something just happen to my fucking eyeball??! It's been bad the last few days and I haven't had a check up for 1.5 years!
I get out and take the lense out to inspect it. Looks fine. But wait... I can see better with it out. I look closely at my left eye in the mirror. Mother fucker! I never actually took the old lense out and I had been wearing two stacked on top of each other. It was pretty relieving but I feel like an idiot.
Turns out I didn't need to rush either. She's stuck at work. | was in a hurry, put two contacts in one eye, thought my eye was super fucked up until I found it, I'm an idiot. |
t3_t0xed | AskReddit | How many of you have been trapped in extremely hot/cold places, without any way to fix the situation? Tell your stories! I'll start it off! | Alright! Me and a few friends were talking about this today. Reddit, what stories have you lived to tell? Here's mine!
So I was invited to a sleepover at some hotel with some friends. (I have no idea why we were at a hotel; but IDGAF. It was awesome.) Anyways, about time for sleep, some girl takes all of our blankets and sleeps on the couch witha pull out bed. She also turned the heat off and the temperature of that room was equivalent to Antartica. Then she locks us all inside a small bedroom. There was 4 other people besides me in this small room. 3 sleep on the bed, while me and my best friend sleep on the floor like a boss. The bad thing is, we had no blankets, and we were wearing nightgowns. So she went to sleep somehow, but I just laid there. Crying and wanting to leave. I have no clue why I didn't pack a blanket or something. | Went to a hotel sleepover, stupid girl takes blankets, turns heat off and locks us in a small room freezing to death. |
t3_1j5aeo | relationships | Me[17/F] with myBF[18M/F] 1 year and (almost) 7 months, broke-up | My boyfriend and I have been great friends for over 3 years. About 2 years ago, he and I began going on little dates and made it official a month later.
Our relationship was great. We made each other extremely happy. Not only did we compliment each other's personality and were the best of friends, we genuinely loved each other, despite what others thought because of our ages.
Lately, we had been arguing more often, most of them on the subject of not being able to spend enough time with each other even though we are both on school breaks. I thought we would be able to make it through this, but it turned out he thought it was better that we weren't in a relationship at all.
Today would have been our 19 months. He broke the news to me the day before that he wanted us to be apart. It not only tore me apart, but it tore him apart. We promised to always be best friends and that we never regretted our relationship and any of the moments that we shared with each other.
I understand that this relationship is just a commitment that neither of us can commit to once September comes along and we both begin our schooling. This is both our first relationships, first love, and first break-up. I'm not sure where to begin the healing process and I know I am doing a horrible job by not eating, sleeping and spending hours crying and hoping he will take me back.
So Reddit, I'm not sure where to go from here. I don't know how I feel about him at this point. I'm angry, upset, sad, and I miss and love him more than ever. | Dated and broke up with me the day before our 19 months. I still love him, he still loves me. Where do I go from here? |
t3_3b1lhp | tifu | TIFU by using my inappropriate highschool email on my resume | So, back when i was 13 i thought i was so fucking funny using the term "butt bandit" and then, don't even know how since i don't know spanish nor anybody who speaks it, had it evolve to "Culo Bandito". Eventually i made this my new email because i was a very mature kid. Years later i still used it for everything from websites to my bank account and since i live in a country which has almost nobody who speaks Spanish in it, i saw no reason to change it.
Que 10 years later when i have myself a job interview for a very prominent industry company. Like so fancy they have a building in middle of the city with multiple floors to the company and everything. While that might not be much to some of you, for me it was certainly the most promising job that had replied to my resume. Go to the interview nice and early, chat up my interviewer before hand. Start the interview and for once i'm not only doing good, I'm nailing it. Finally get to the end and the fellow tells me its basically between me and 2 other people and i have a good chance, but...
"There is just one thing, its about your Email"
Having used it for so long i had totally even forget about the context and suddenly it just hits me
"Its just abit inappropriate, do you actually know what it means? I'm from Spain so i certainly do"
Left the building embarrassed as fuck after having explained to him i do indeed know what it means, why i made it, and how i'm so stupid i even have another entirely appropriate Email i should have used. The guy wasn't angry, but he wasn't laughing either. | Had Anal sex in Spanish as my email address thinking nobody would ever know, first person to discover it was the guy who could get me a job i really need. |
t3_2oqak0 | relationships | My [24 F] boyfriend [28 M] of 1.5 years has saved photos of naked girls on his phone. Maybe I shouldn't be upset... But I can't help it. | I'll start off by saying my boyfriend and I both have our kinks. His kink is... Well... Visual. I don't mind him looking at porn... I mean everyone watches porn, right? He loves amateur stuff. Which is why he loves /r/gonewild so much.
His reddit account is subbed to almost every pervvy/sexy subreddit out there.
I mean maybe I shouldn't be pissed about him saving these pictures of girls from gonewild to his phone. I feel stupid for even being upset but I can't help it. He doesn't interact with these girls that I know of, but what do you guys think about your SO having naked pictures of other people on their phone? Even if they don't know them? | my SO has pictures of girls from gonewild saved on his phone and I feel stupid for being upset about it. |
t3_2ctmji | self | Harassed by boss - At a job for less than 3 months (24Y, F) | I work at a small office. It's my first real job after getting my degree, I've studied a lot to get that formation and it was hard.
All started alright, everything seemed promising, until a coworker had a huge fight with our boss (woman at her 50's). He asked to leave and acted rather unethical, harming my boss the work we developed there. Things went downstairs, everything went wrong with the office's projects. My boss started to blame me for it. That I was naive to rely in our co-worker. That I'm unexperienced. And such harasses went on until I started to talk back to her.
My customers like me really much, and so do my coleagues. My numebers are good and I'm the kind of worker that delivers it. And my boss seems to dislike it and try to expose my flaws as much as possible. This week I've received a warning for checking too much my phone. AND I SWEAR that I do not even text back my boyfriend for all day long. I don't even touch my cell phone. God. It's so evident that she is forcing me to quit!
I'm at this job since may this year. Before that I've been through hard times to get this job. Before that I came from another complicated internship that lasted for less than 3 months. And seems like things are irreversibly messed up here.
I'm quite aware of my strong personality. And I'm aware that the fact that I have talked back to my boss could have caused this. I just can't help it. I only do this when I feel like I have a point. And I'm 100% confident that my point is fair/right.
As pharmaceutical industry professional, I'm affraid that in my country, doesn't matter the company, I'd only find workplaces with such issues.
I know that if I quit that job, will be hard to find another one, and I'm afraid that any other job this could happen too.
What do you guys Think?
Sorry the wall. | My Boss is clearly harassing me. The jobmarket is hard. I have a temper and I'm not willing to change it. Things are messed up much? |
t3_2rghk7 | tifu | TIFU by taking my eyes off him for ONE second.... | ...while he's on the toilet. I work as a behavioral therapist for children with special needs. Among other areas, I work on toileting, aka potty training. Which brings me to tonight.
There's a non-verbal, very sweet 7 year old who's acting very silly and is very gassy. Both tell-tale signs of an upcoming BM. He's sitting with his iPad, as usual, when I hear great success! I reinforce (congratulate) him for going #2 on the potty and take a step back to let him finish. Not but ONE second, ok maybe 2 seconds later, I hear lots of swishing...
At first I think he might be having some #3 action. But, alas, it's his hands swishing around in the bowl. By the time I got to him, he managed to smear shit all over his iPad, and then in his mouth. | TIFU by stepping away from a special needs kid on the john. He poops and starts playing with it before I can help. Shit in mouth and on iPad. |
t3_29o77e | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [18 F] 7 months, wants to visit online friend | I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend who is now living in the south while I'm back up north. She recently got invited to attend a lan event for a video game we both like to play with a friend of hers.
Normally there wouldn't be anything scummy about this and she even told me about it instead of just going. They live pretty close because they're both in the same state. My issue is that this guy has been pretty disrespectful to her. He's been the kind of guy to throw out misogynistic sexual comments as jokes. This was before we were in a relationship so I didn't really react.
I told her that I was uncomfortable with this guy and his friends and she says that they barely talk. However, yesterday she texts me and says that he invited her to this thing and that although he might be a bit of an asshole she wants to go compete with him.
I said that I'd break up with her if she went which might have been too severe of an ultimatum because it really isn't my decision. The old adage of if you want it to love you let it be free applied and I rescinded that threat.
I'm hurt that she's even talking to this guy. Not only that but that she's actually considering spending multiple days hanging out with this guy in person who she's never met. One I'm not comfortable with and one who has disrespected her in the past.
I really feel like moving on over this because it feels so disrespectful to me. Just the idea of her WANTING to go see this guy makes me sick to the pit of my stomach.
Should I leave? Let her go? Is she just naiive? | Girlfriend wants to attend gaming event with an online friend. I'm not comfortable with the guy and don't know what to do about it. |
t3_17gfzs | Parenting | Need advice. It's been a tough 7 days since we had our 3 year old give her paci to a baby. Mom is ready to cave. | My daughter was overdue so after her 3 year birthday we made a bid deal of putting her paci in a box and giving it to a baby at her nursery and commending on how she was now a big girl.
The problem is that she just can't self soothe. She is waking up Mom and asking to be held/rocked/comforted every two hours. She used to fall asleep in 10 minutes and stay asleep. Now it takes over an hour and she doesn't stay asleep. We thought we just need to tough it out but it's been a week now and Mom is ready to buy another one.
We have tried to find substitute things to soothe her. Bought her a stuffed Jasmine doll (her favorite princes) and tried playing her favorite Disney songs to distract her as she falls asleep.
Any suggestions/advice is appreciated. | 3 year old can't soothe herself after 7 days without paci, thinking about buying one so she and mom can get sleep again |
t3_2k49gy | Advice | Best excuse for calling out of work multiple days in a row? | Throwaway because a few coworkers know my username.
I'm starting a new job that is a substitute position in a field that is degree-relevant. My orientation is scheduled for this coming Monday... but HR failed to tell me it spans an entire week (9-5).
I have Monday off at my current job (part-time cashier at a grocery store), but I am scheduled to work the rest of the week since I didn't know I would have more training those days. It is too late to make changes to the schedule and we are not allowed to have coworkers cover/switch shifts, so I am forced to call out Tuesday-Friday.
What excuse should I give my manager? The truth isn't an option and neither is death of a loved one. I'm thinking I'll go with an illness since everyone's getting sick with changing seasons/back to school, but I don't actually get sick often and so I don't know what would keep me out of work for an entire week. | HR of new job didn't tell me orientation lasts all week so now I have to call out of my current job. What excuse do I give my manager? |
t3_3djtcn | relationships | Me [28M] with my GF [35F] on/off for 4 years, insecure over her male friends... | I think it would be wrong, and unfair, for me to ask my GF to NOT have male friends. So at this point, I no longer venture down that path.
I know that she will be physically close and touching each other, as they share a passion for work-out, acrobatics, lifts, and circus-like stuff.
While it goes without saying that physical intimacy is off limits, it does irk me as man, to think someone else is able to touch her.
I can't seem to put down the threat in my head, that their might come something romantic between them.
Just the thought of them getting together to workout seems to fuel jealousy in me, along with all of jealousy's uncomfortable, unpleasant and irrational thoughts…
My GF had very controlling parents growing up, so now she really doesn't like boundaries set, so based on our talks, it is sort of 'her way or the highway'.
I guess I'm left to find a way to be comfortable with this situation, and not see it as a threat. It honestly bothers me often, weather I like it, or not. | GF doesn't like to set limits on what behavior is OK or not OK, between her, and her male friends. The result is that jealous me can't find the predictability or safety I want in a relationship. |
t3_4gfdt1 | relationships | How do I help my [17M] SO [17F] and her issues with insecurity? | So, my girlfriend of one year is having some issues with her self-esteem. She's pretty, beautiful and quite attractive. Apparently she has gained some weight since we got together and this is now tearing her apart, I feel really bad for her as I can't seem to help her or get her to realise how amazing she is. We have hade some fights a while ago when she didn't believe my compliments or words of appreciation (I tried to explain that I thought that this was only she herself thinking this, not me). I also suspect that her piece of shit scumbag ex-boyfriend had a part in giving her these insecurity issues by shaming her. I have suggested that we may go to the gym and work out together, she just hung up on me sobbing.
I love her really much and it kills me that can't seem to help her. Have any of you experienced these issues and solved them? What can I do? | GF believes that she's fat/unattractive, this is not the case. How do I get her to realise this? |
t3_52hy6z | relationships | My [16F] dad [46M] brought my brother [13M] a quad bike to upset my mum [35F] | My dad and mum split up shortly after my brother was born. Since then we have spent every second weekend and every other week on holidays at my dads. My parents really don't get along and used to have to meet in public spaces to swap us over to avoid getting into fights.
My mum grew up in a rural part of australia, her brother died when he was fourteen riding a quad bike. He was riding with his friend holding on and they flipped into a creek. His friend managed to climb out and went to get help but the property was big and by the time help came my uncle had died. I think my mum was there when they pulled his body out.
Anyway yesterday was my brothers thirteenth birthday. My dad showed him over Skype that he had brought him a quad bike to ride on his property. My mum lost it and started crying which left my brother really confused because he doesn't know about my uncle. Later that night mum and dad had a massive argument on the phone with mum begging him to change it in for something else.
My mum is now telling my brother that he's not allowed to go to my dads this weekend and my dads threatening to take her to court or something. I only know about my uncle because my cousin [18M] told me so I don't think my mum knows I know. My brother is really confused and I'm not sure what to say to him.
I feel really bad for my mum and angry at my dad for doing this to her. I haven't ever seen her this upset before. I know that he knows about what happened to her brother because I was listening in on their argument last night and he called mums brother an idiot.
Anyway I'm not really sure what to do here, should I tell my brother something so he at least knows whats going on? Can my mum really do anything here? What do? | Mums brother died in a quad bike accident. Dad has got my brother a quad bike for his birthday. Mum is upset, brother doesn't know whats going on and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1y30xv | relationships | Is he[17 M] bsing me [16 F]??; "doesn't want a gf right now" | About a month ago, this guy began messaging me casually on and off. He is good friends with one of my friends, so two weeks ago, we set up a double date (just dinner). It went pretty well, IMO, and he showed a lot of interest in hanging out again and got me stuff for Valentine's Day. We went on another double date on Valentine's Day (bowling and dinner) and it went well, but I kind of felt a bit disconnected from him and the next day when we texted, there was a definite lack of interest/chemistry.
I'm guessing he felt it too because a day later, he texted me saying he really likes me but he's had a lot of bad relationship's and blah blah, basically he doesn't want a gf right now and he wants to keep it casual. I'm currently calling total BS on this because he put A LOT of effort into talking to me the past week and made lots of references to things we were going to do in the future, but after the second date, it kind of evaporated.
Do you think he is BSing me or not? And if so, what could have possibly happened to change his mind about being in a relationship with me? If he's not BSing me, I'd love to keep casually dating him. I just don't want to be a nuisance if he's not into me at all. | Guy was totally into me, suddenly pulls the "I don't want a gf right now" card, BS or no? |
t3_nl07j | AskReddit | Got in an accident one week ago, but insurance hasn't done anything yet. Am I being wronged? | This is my first accident I've ever been in that resulted in dealing with Insurance.
This happened in Southern California, last Tuesday. I was rear ended on the freeway when the flow of traffic stopped suddenly and ended up hitting the person in front. Cops came, and filed a police report and the person behind me had already admitted fault. I file my claim that same night. I take pictures and notes and all that stuff I've read about. My front head light is sticking out, and my back bumper is all mashed up, but the trunk still closes.
Next Morning I get a call from my insurance to discuss the accident and file my claim. I follow up with him either that afternoon or the morning after and he gives me the insurance rep of the person who rear ended me (I have liability insurance). I call the other insurance up and tell them the situation, and he says that this is pretty simple case and should be able to finish it soon. He calls for a third party estimator and he ends up coming in on Friday and makes his estimate and says the other company will call me on Monday. I make the call on Monday to get this payment for the damages going from this other insurance, and I don't get clear response. I call again today, and i ended up talking to a different agent who basically said my car is considered totaled because the cost to fix is more than the car's worth.
Throughout this whole process, I am still driving my damaged car which is apparently considered totaled. I finally start talking to other people about this and apparently I've been wronged. I should have already gotten a rental car from the other insurance and that never happened and once i get this claim check they'll tow my car and I'll be carless. I've also been told that my own insurance is supposed to be taking care of this claim.
I'm so frustrated because I was told to keep driving and keep with my schedule, and if my car's damage ended up coming off and damaging someone else's car it would have been my fault.
What are my options at this point? and am I being taken advantage of because I'm naive? | Filed a claim a week ago, still driving a messed up car that is considered totalled, and was never given a rental car. I didn't know I was being taken advantage of. |
t3_4mzel1 | relationship_advice | My Crush [16/F] is giving Me [16/M] false hope and a lot of confusion. | If any of you have seen my last post, this is the same girl as before. I told her how I felt. So our group of friends went to an amusement park together. She said that we were buddies for the day, and on the bus there. The entire day she was lying on me, hugging me, even kissing me on the face occasionally. Non stop. She seemed to try and get us alone on the rides a lot. So later that evening, I told her how I felt. Knowing her on a very deep emotional level helps me understand her more. She said that a lot of times, she sees herself being in a relationship with a few of her guy friends. She told me that all she could think about earlier was us.
She said that we should take things very slow and start by hanging out and what not. But when I asked her to hang out a couple of times, she seemed to avoid it. Our group of friends goes out a lot, and specifically one of me and her friends is always there. They always laugh, and are close and flirty. I'm not jealous, I'm just wondering why if she said she felt that way and wanted to start somewhere, why she completely ignores me around this guy.
Another thing is that she tells me or posts about finding the right guy, and I've done everything I can to prove that I only have the world to offer to her. She always says that I'm a nice guy and deserve happiness and what not.
I feel like she is unintentionally leading me on, and she has been a little distant these past few days. She said she didn't want a relationship this summer. I'm confused. | She said she has feelings, but seems to ignore me around other guys she has feelings for, and is becoming increasingly distant. |
t3_3l7pp5 | personalfinance | First job, been working at the same place for quite some time and I feel like I am underpayed. How should I go about asking for a raise? | Hey reddit, as the title says, I'm in a bit of a pickle. (Throwaway cause many of my friends and coworkers know my main account)
I am 16 years old. I started working at a local Chik-fil-a fast food restaurant as soon as I was able to work for the summer. (Chik-fil-a is one of the only local places that will hire 14-15 year olds around here). So first day of summer comes around freshman year, I head in and end up leaving with a job. As it was my first job and I was still very young to be working, I was glad to accept my short hours at bare minimum wage.
However, now I am a junior in highschool. For my one year anniversary of working, I was excepting a raise. But apparently they had changed their terms recently and instead I was awarded a $20 in-store coupon. I was hoping for a raise, but nobody told me about any type of pay raise or mentioned it since. Is this normal? I've worked another half a year or so since, and I've been commended to my managers by customers, complimented by management, and even got an honorable mention for stellar achievement in a newsletter sent to the entire local franchise. I later did some searching after hearing someone say they had gotten a raise. Apparently, the average wage for my position is [over a dollar] ( what I'm currently being paid.
So my question is, how should I go about asking for a raise? I'm working, attending highschool, and saving for a car. How much should I ask for? Any suggestions for an approach? | Been working for a bit over a year and a half, got a $20 coupon instead of a raise at 1 year. Apparently getting [underpaid] Want suggestions on how to ask for a raise. |
t3_1k4dpp | relationships | I [20M] think my best friend [20F] just "broke up" with me? | So the backstory is that I've been friends with a girl for about 3 years and we've been very close intimately (telling secrets, spending time alone and doing bf/gf stuff without any physical intimacy) I understand it was her using my as a bf but at the time I didn't care because I owed her and decided she would appreciate it.
So anyways we usually hang out a lot during summer but we've been busy. We used to text each other a lot more often but nowadays if I send her a text she sometimes won't even respond.
We decided to hang out recently to catch up and just talk yesterday and I was kinda high so I may have interpreted what happened differently than it really happened but the events of the night went like this.
We sat down and talked about everything and she was telling me about her new "fake bf", a guy that she does everything with now instead of me like call before sleeping,chill with, etc. She actually went and mentioned the things we did together and says she does them with him. And it seemed like she was pretty much saying that I was no longer needed in her life because she had a replacement.
Anyone have any ideas what she ment to do that night? I still don't fully understand. I'll be hurt if she "broke up" with me but I won't have a problem with moving forward | best friend found a replacement for me but she may be hinting that she wants me to make a move. No idea what she wants and i really need an outsiders viewpoint. |
t3_4jxyag | relationships | [21F] with BF [22M]. Someone please teach me to stop being really toxic I think I'm really going to lose my relationship over this. | Title pretty much says it. Relationship is great. Boyfriend communicates with me really clearly about his thoughts/ideas/emotions and shit.
Whenever he approaches me with criticism or says that he does not like that I did x I get really defensive. I have this attitude of 'why do I always have to lose the argument' even when I know I'm wrong. I keep trying to emotionally manipulate the argument so he will also have something to apologize for and I know I'm wrong to do it, but I only start feeling really wrong hours later. He's a guy that takes no shit so he obviously never gives in to the manipulation and usually says something like 'we are not having this conversation' and tries to get me to move on but I just get stuck in this rut trying to make him feel bad or twisting the conversation around or unnecessarily escalating.
This usually happens at night. I don't think I'm on any drugs that give me mood problems (birth control?). I've never been like this in any of my relationships. I always considered myself cool, fair and level-headed, but now I'm just all emotional, unfair and wack. This is the first boyfriend who has been not-clingy, not-irrational + jealous and not-manipulative to me, aka the best I've ever had.
If I don't stop becoming really awful every time he wants to raise something with me (even really minor things) then I really think he's probably going give up to break up with me. I'm 4 hours post another of these episodes of me being a bitch. Usually after he has talked me down or walked away from the conversation he just seems to forget about it. Either he actually forgot that I was a bitch a few hours ago or he remembers but is hoping I'll change. Someone give me advice on things to think that will stop me from immediately being like this whenever he has criticism. He's really just so awesome and I hate this part of me and I can't seem to think myself out of it. | don't want boyfriend to break up with me because I keep trying to manipulate him. need tips on how to shut that part of me down and say goodbye to it forever |
t3_2iix40 | offmychest | My roommate is getting laid right now, and that's okay. | As I type this, my roommate, who seems to have great genes overall without trying to hard, is having sex with a girl. The girl is moaning and about to orgasm, and have little animosity toward them. Why is this you ask? Because we live different lives, and love having to bust my ass to make it on this planet.
Yeah, I was a fat kid and that caused me to have a stunted childhood. Fixed that. I freeze up when trying to interact with women short term, working on it. Sometimes being alone sucks, asking myself why and what I'm feeling to lead to those thoughts are helping. Just saying it doesn't all have to be bad. | as a short dude, who has almost escaped being a fat kid, and is managing perfectly without a degree, working on your internal thought process can make all the difference in the world. |
t3_2gjj4j | relationship_advice | My (18m) SO(18f) just broke down... Help... | It started by watching phantom of the opera, she got quiet and then when I tried talking to her she snapped at me. I got mad and didn't think much of it. I later come out to find she is sulking... She tells me she isn't happy with her life....at this point I'm hurt... But she is battling depression so I understand (and she is on her period, which is terrible this month) so I take her out for a drive and we sit on a dock, no one is there and we text each other. It gets to the point of saying she can't do this, she can't make me happy and. I told her I can help her and she said she is the only one who can do it. So we walk up to the car and she stops telling me she is afraid of where we were and wishes she would just fall. At this point I grab her and hug her and make her promise never to think that again. She began to cry. Eventually i sing "our song" which made her laugh and smile so bam all good.. I hope.... Anyway. I just don't know what to do. I love her and want to marry her. But I don't know what to think of this whole thing and I just need some advice on how to proceed... Preferably from a girls point of view who has battled depression before... But anyone will help. I'm desperate... | Almost broke up, told me she wish she would die. Tolde she loved me again and is sleeping now. |
t3_3r0z0g | relationships | I [29M] want to propose to my GF [30F] of almost six years. I used to do live sex shows/porn and she has no idea. Should I tell her? | So, yeah. We'll have been together six years early next year and about 5-100x a day for the last 4 years, I think about proposing. Prior to her, I would tell girlfriends, and from then it just became a slow countdown to when I either became a novelty/hookup or they would break up with me outright.
I performed for about 5yrs and actually stopped performing a short while after I met my current GF, because I felt like I found the person that understood me. We'd known about each other for a while before dating, and she admitted she had heard some things about my personal (not professional) sex life from mutual friends a few months into the relationship. She once asked me how many people I'd been with a few years ago, and I asked her if that was something she really wanted to know and if it was, what purpose would it serve. I didn't tell her and she hasn't brought it up since. But I feel like if somehow it was revealed later in life, she would feel betrayed or something of the sort.
We've been together through losses of parents and the resulting mental health issues, relocations and job changes, graduate school programs, and a lot of things that I think make a relationship grow and strengthen. This is the biggest thing she doesn't know about me and I don't know if sharing that part of my life would be something that kills the relationship.
Should I tell her; or just hold on to the secret and hope she doesn't find out? | I used to do live sex shows/porn, and my GF of six years doesn't know. I want to propose; should I tell her? |
t3_30nhkf | tifu | TIFU, Saturday online dating edition. | This happened last night. Background: I've been using OKC for about 2 years (23 yr old Male), gotten a few bad experiences, including a woman with so many health problems, I nearly gave her a heart attack when we boned (new greatest fear; a woman dying as a direct result to my having sex with her), and a woman who turned out to be my aunts' sisters' daughter (we didn't bone, thank god). So, here's strike 3.
Met this girl online yesterday morning, everything was going well, she and I had some similar interests, we started texting, and I decided to ask her out. She said yes, but she wanted to talk to me on the phone first. I had no problem, totally understandable. She calls me, and she sounds really sad, so I ask if she's ok. She says yes, but I can kind of tell she's on the verge of tears. Eventually, she tells me that her dad has been missing for years, and just a few weeks ago a coroner's office across the country calls her and says her dad's dead. I awkwardly try to comfort her, and she goes on to tell me about how many of her relatives have died, and how she very nearly died to illness 2 years ago. I'm not really used to this kind of conversation the first time I talk to a girl, so the subject gets changed to OKC, and our past relationships. She asks me if I'm afraid of commitment, how do I feel about marriage and kids? I'm 23 years old, not anywhere close to thinking about marriage and kids. She goes on to tell me that her past few relationships were highly abusive. Then she tries to have phone sex with me, asking me what kind of sex I like, and she goes on to tell me what she likes. I normally like to know a woman's favorite color before I know her favorite sex position. After that she starts crying again and tells me about all the friends she's lost because of her depression. The last 30min-hour of the convo is mostly her crying and my honestly not knowing what to say. I somehow awkwardly arrange a date for this Thursday, but I'm not sure I want to follow up anymore. | Met a girl online, she immediately tells me about a series of horrible events from her life, and asks me how I feel about marriage and kids. Date online cautiously. |
t3_3c68e2 | relationships | Is my [F21] jealousy justified?Boyfriend is abroad for two weeks [M22] | My Boyfriend is staying in Singapore for two weeks and we've been talking everyday. But today, we didn't talk at all today when i messaged him. So I asked him "Are you going to be busy all day?" and he said "Yeah lol".And then I said "I can't the be only one making the effort to communicate" and then he said "Yeah I'll try." Then sends me smiley face and whatnot. I figured he was busy traveling.
But then when I checked his snapchat story, he was with a friend who is a girl. I have met her and hung out with her before, he even told me before that she's going to be there with him that day, and I'm PRETTTYYY sure that they don't have any romantic feelings for each other...but it's the fact that he's hanging out with a girl the whole day while he can't send me one message that pisses me off. My belief is that no matter how busy you are, you always make time to talk to your bf/gf like how I do.
So am I being irrationally jealous? | Boyfriend didn't talk to me at all today because he was hanging out with a girl who is just a friend. |
t3_2toafj | relationships | My [f26] partner [m28] of 2 years lacks passion and skill in bed | Firstly, I just want to say that I really love my boyfriend. We're amazing together, he's a sexy, kind, lovable guy, who I have the most fun with.
But... we've been together for 2 years now, and the sex is still not doing it for me.
I'm a bit more experienced than him.
In the beginning the clumsyness was fun, a challenge. I've shown him what I like, and introduced him to different ideas, and he's eager to learn and try new things.
But... I rarely orgasm.
Giving instructions, and being dominant is a massive turn-off for me. But sensuality isn't intuitive for him and when we get jiggy it still just feels like awkward teenage fumbling.
Currently we only get to see each other for a few days every few weeks due to university stuff, and I want there to be mad passion and desire when we meet. Being apart leaves us both really horny! And I need the stress relief. But when it comes down to it, he doesn't put much effort in, and if I take over he comes really quickly. So I can't win. I really try to not be too disappointed, but I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to have sex now, because I know that I'll end up more frustrated and get grouchy.
Our communication is great, we can talk about anything. | Our relationship [F26&M27] is gorgeous but after 2 years we still have a disappointing sex life. What can I do to be more patient and relax? And how can I help him be more assertive in bed? |
t3_r0nxd | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the worst thing an employer fucked you over with? how did you retaliate? | so hear me out,
I was working for a car rental company. I just bought a new house and needed to move some furniture so I asked for one of the big vans (a Merc Sprinter) so I could move everything I needed in one go.
so far so good. I get the car and they say I just need to pay for the fuel I use.
so I get in the car and imidiately notice the gastank is only half full. I instantly go back to tell them and they say its a malfunction. The tank is full.
alright, I go about my buisness and use about 10% of what is in the gastank. I deliver it back. no problems so far.
now from this point on, the boss's son was starting to hire his own friends and giving me less and less hours.
also, suddenly the van I took had damage (that was already present when I took it) and they were expecting me to pay.
also, the tank was almost empty according to them so I needed to pay around 80 euro's in gasmoney to them.
So I thought, well fuck this. you're not giving me any hours (were I used to work about 30 hours a week) and suddenly charge me more? NOPE
2 weeks later I get an order of payment of 300 euro, excluding the 'damages'.
I never paid this and they occasionally send me an invoice to pay them but I do not give in to this. I never signed a contract proving I took the car so they dont have anything to make me pay them. | borrowed company car with permission, got screwed for gasmoney, damages present before I took it, and rent. dont pay their invoice for it because I didnt sign contract. |
t3_19knvl | relationships | My|20| past is messing up my SO's|19| judgement | Typing this up on my phone, please bare with me.
Dating for about 1 year, broke up
Got back together, broke up
Back together,
Almost 3years total. (Since being 16)
Reasons we broke up were because of how she was with other guys, while she did not cheat physically, she would put herself in bad positions in which she basically cheated emotionally, she had a "hard time" telling guys to back off. So I broke up with her.
Each time we broke up I NEVER expected to get back together, so while single I hooked up with 2 girls ( 1 for each period of being single). Now that we are back together and things are extremely different (seriously, she had some kind of rude awakening) she feels very bad about how I hooked up with other women, Ive told her how when I did hookedup, I wasnt emotionally attached to them, and that I never thought we(Gf and I) would ever get back together so it didnt matter what or who I hooked up with; I was single and she was out of my life(no contact.)
Now shes very upset and feels as though she doesnt mean as much, and that how could I kiss someone with them meaning anything to me.
It bothers her and although Ive asked her to try to explain to me how she feels in detail, she has a really hard time telling me EXACTLY how she feels or how it bothers her, I think that it shouldnt matter because I wasnt cheating or doing anything wrong, Gf was not a part of my lfe at the time and those two hook ups (terrible btw) was purely physical.
I need some advice or insight as to how to handle this situation, because simply talking about it isnt going anywhere; she cant or wont tell me exactly how it bothers her. | Gf is upset about me hooking up with other women when we were completely separated and broken up. How do I handle this? |
t3_3dnbt6 | relationships | I(F24) cheated on my ex with my SO(23M) | I'll try to make this short.
I was with the ex for 5 years. He never hit me. He wasn't physically abusive. But he was mean. He was a bad drunk that would be degrading towards me, aggresive (sexually and otherwise), and has left me stranded in the middle of no where by myself because he was drunk and decided I cheated on him in the middle of his drunk fit.
He always thought I was cheating. Always. He made me cut off all my guy friends. Some of them I have known since I was 4. They aren't interested in being friends to this day because, why would they? I dropped them because a guy told me to.
I tried to break up with him a few times. But he was good with his words. He convinced me I was stupid for wanting to break up, that I was just over sensitive and that I was throwing away many years of being together over an emotional fit.
So I cheated on him. Out of the blue. I did not plan it. Its the only time I did (and will ever) that.I was and am so dissapointed with myself. But I think I needed him to leave me. I didn't really consciously think like this at the time, but I think I did it on purpose. I told him the day after and we broke up, we haven't spoken even one since. That was two years ago.
I sought comfort in the man I cheated with. We became friends. And a year later we started dating.
I can't get over it. I can't handle that THAT was how we started seeing each other. I don't think he can ever trust me fully, and I don't blame him. He has admitted that he was hesitant before because of it, but he says he is over it now. I don't believe him mostly because I wouldn't be over it if I was him.
Basically. I don't know what to do. He's wonderful, caring, a great partner. I want to be good enough. I still hate myself for what I did. | I cheated with my current SO. how do I prove that "once a cheater always a cheater' isn't always true? |
t3_3yiu18 | relationships | I (19F) resent my mother (50F) for years of abuse, but she's changed. | Hello, thanks to anyone who reads this.
I was abused in many ways, emotionally and physically, by my parents for about 8 years, who were both alcoholics and had a lot of anger issues. After their divorce and the death of a family member, my mom absolutely changed herself and apologized sincerely more than once for what she's made me go through. She's been loving for the past 2 years, but the problem is that I can't stop being resentful towards her about the smallest things… if she even raises her voice when talking to me, I can't help getting so mad (inside my head). I understand that I can't just forget my traumas, but I wanna be able to let go and not exaggerate everything inside me so much. Any advices? | I can't let go of my trauma, but right now I'm the only one holding myself back when it comes to my relationship with my mother. How can I better myself?! |
t3_44gymv | relationships | Unsure how to proceed in my relationship | Me (a guy, 17) and this one girl (who I knew back years ago, and also 17) had been talking for about a month and she seemed very flirtatious/enthusiastic on text (although she took a half hour or so to respond a lot), so I figured she was into me. She came to my place and we kinda just talked and hung out for a bit. There was definitely tension at the end and I could tell she wanted to kiss (being all touchy and whatnot) but we didn't. So the next weekend I took her downtown and we walked around, talked, and got some food. Then she suggested stargazing.
It felt really romantic and I definitely think we had something. We kissed and cuddled under the stars for a few hours, and it just felt special. After though, we drove around and talked and listened to music, and I said something about being a boyfriend and she said she just wants to be friends for now/isn't ready for another relationship (she just broke up with her boyfriend a month prior), but she did say she can "definitely see it in the future." Well, skipping the rest, she's been texting me very differently ever since (it's been exactly a week since – she's been texting far less enthusiastically and often ignores texts for a day saying she was 'really busy') and she recently typed up a message saying how she thought she was ready, but isn't.
I mean I guess I can manage being friends for now – but what's killing me is I can't tell if she's trying to push me away or if she's genuinely busy. I really like her and we definitely had something, I just can't tell how to proceed without blowing up my chances. She's really sweet, so I can't tell if she's nicely pushing me away or genuinely thought it was unfair to make me wait for her until she's ready for another relationship. | I want to move at her pace, because I know she just broke up with someone and don't want to push anything, but I feel like I'm losing her and I don't know why.. Help?:( |
t3_2g5zld | relationships | I (19F) want to ask a stranger out (20'sM) but I think he's worried I'm stalking him | First of all, I'm not stalking him.
I've seen this guy around a lot. We're both in college and live within a few blocks of each other. He occasionally passes by my house but I also see him at the nearby library, on the streets, or at the nearby coffee shop. I'm out and about pretty often because I'm taking quite a few classes and have to study, as well as working a job on campus.
I've seen this guy for quite a few months now but particularly this last month. If I'm out of the house I almost always see him, so I normally see him 4+ times a week.
Here's the problem. The first few times we saw each other by coincidence (and recognized faces) we would smile at each other, but lately he has had a very strange and slightly angry look on his face when he sees me. It may be nothing, but I'm worried that he thinks I'm starting to stalk him because we run see each other so often. I may be over-analyzing it, and I do hope I am.
And the best problem! I'm shy, but I've wanted to ask him out to coffee for awhile. Normally I would just approach him and ask but because of this situation I don't know if I should. | I (19F) want to ask out a stranger (20's) but I think he's worried I'm stalking him just because we see each other often |
t3_4akwms | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [26 F] 5 months - how many differences/disagreements are too many? | Me and my GF have been together for 5 months now and our differences in lifestyle, choices etc. are becoming more apparent. Examples: We can't agree on things like what movie to watch (like at all, she basically refuses to watch movies I'd like); it seems that everything she likes to eat/drink I hate and vice versa; when to get children; when to get married; when to move in together; how to spend our "lazy sundays"; I'm a morning person, she not at all; we don't have any mutual hobbies/interests...
Now that I write this, I don't even know what we have in common except mutual attraction...
Apart from this, the sex is great - more than great actually. I'm afraid that I might mistake mere sexual attraction and compatibility for true love. How many differences/disagreements can still make a good relationship? | GF and I seemingly can't agree on anything. Even though I have strong feelings for her, it is getting exhausting. Is this relationship doomed? |
t3_2b4ayz | relationships | [23/F]: Last night my boyfriend [23/M] of several years got really drunk and let it slip that he has bought an engagement ring. Should I tell him I know? | This morning I asked him what he remembers from last night (not much) so it seems that he doesn't realize what he told me.
Now I am thrilled that he has finally decided to propose but I am pretty annoyed that he has ruined the surprise for me. It kind of bothers me that he would be so careless with even the chance of letting that spill.
Also, I am incredibly impatient and now it is all I can do not to beg to see the ring already! I am sure it is better to wait it out and see what he had planned for a proposal but I really want to tell him that I know and tell all my family and friends that I am (almost) engaged! What should I do? | Drunk BF told me he is gonna put a ring on it, but doesn't remember. Can I tell him I wanna see the rock? |
t3_2pweya | tifu | Tifu by trying to spare my gf feelings and she ends up breaking up with me. | Quick preview I have been going through a lot of hardship for the past 4-6months straight.... It was like shit storm on top of shit storm which eventually can take a toll on your happiness or your behavior in general ....
Well my gf feels that I been an empty shell and has since become frustrated with it but she dealt. Well the other day I was telling her that our sex is a little lackluster and we need to really go over it. She assured me she knew where I was coming from and understood and wanted to show me that night. So boom I come home she naked with a robe. She gives me an awkward look at first but disrobes proceeds to sit down and gave me a rather lazy blow job and the sex itself was subpar...basically losing my erection. And instead of making her feel like her efforts weren't good enough I lied and told her my finances are stressing me. She holds me we fall asleep boom next day (last night) she tells me she leaving me because I'm unhappy thus making her unhappy and I have pushed her away at first mentally BUT NOW PHYSICALLY. | been sad long time, makes gf sad, instead of me telling her bout her poor performance I lied and blamed it on myself, which was the catalyst for her leaving me |
t3_1427wy | relationships | My boyfriend (33M) of 2 years has asked me (26F) for a threesome. | This is a throwaway account for a couple reasons.
Okay, so I've been dating my boyfriend for the past two years and some odd change.
It's been a really happy relationship and I can't even put into words how wonderful our relationship is.
A couple months after we started dating, he started talking to me about threesomes. Now, I am no prude and am always willing to try anything once. At first, I was uncomfortable with the idea, but within the next couple years, I've found myself warming up to it.
I know threesomes tend to be kind of "taboo", and for the record, I am not a slut or anything like that. I'm just a girl that wants to try a ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE, and also please my boyfriend even more than I already do.
The thing is, he wants me to approach a girl. I just don't know a way to go about it. If anyone has been in my shoes, or has often thought about approaching women for threesomes but never have the opportunity to, I could really use some advice. I want to surprise him with one for his birthday. | My boyfriend of 2 years wants us to have a threesome, but wants me to find the girl. I do not know how to approach a girl in this matter and need advice. |
t3_4pfo5t | legaladvice | My roommate is growing weed in the garage and was recently arrested for possession. Should we make him get rid of everything? Or are we being paranoid? | Like the title says my roommate has a small grow operation in the garage (3 plants small 5x5 tent) we also live in washington state where it's legal to possess marijuana, however growing is illegal without the proper paperwork which he doesnt have.
We as roommates decided he's fine to grow since there is no reason we'd ever be caught, and he's growing such a small amount that we doubt it would ever lead to anything serious. However he was just arrested for having marijuana, molly, and mushrooms when he was at EDC in Las Vegas, and we're concerned now that our house could potentially be searched due to him being caught with other drugs.
Is this a legitimate concern? From my understanding all roommates would be held liable in court for growing since he's growing it in the garage and we're all on the lease, even though we have nothing to do with growing weed or doing any drugs at all for that matter.
Any insight from someone who knows more than me would be excellent. thanks guys:) | Would the cops search our house because one of our roommates was caught with marijuana, shrooms, and molly? |
t3_3ooz6k | relationship_advice | 18M Wondering about my friend 18F and how to move forward. | Hey all,
So I've known this girl since the beginning of the year, we're both in first-year post-secondary. I think I really like her, but I don't want to think about it too much before I make up my mind to think about it more. The reason being she says she has a boyfriend. Now I've talked to her a lot and I would definitely say we're friends, so at one point when this topic came up she was mentioning how her bf is 7 years older and lives 3000km to our south. On top of all this she's never met him in real life. They do skype and talk. They met through video games, which is cool. But I don't see this relationship going anywhere with me since I don't want to invade on her relationship with her 'bf' and I don't feel that they're going to get anywhere because they've known each other two years and they've still never met.
So my question is, should I just wait it out, or try something else that you guys/gals would recommend? | Girl has long distance bf she met online but never in real life. I know I like her, but don't want to develop any strong feelings as long as she thinks she feels something for this guy. |
t3_15rc9a | relationships | I [20M] flew across the country to visit my e-friend [19F], but I can't tell if we're on the same page. | Hi all,
So, I'll try to keep the back-story short but I'm pretty verbose. I met this girl through video games a few years ago, we've been getting closer and closer (we play basically every day together, we have a cute little good night ritual, etc.). I decided that I was interested enough that I wanted to fly down for a week and hang out to see what happens. She said yes.
Now that I'm here though, I'm getting mixed signals. I feel like it should be obvious by the fact that she let me fly down to visit her that she was interested in me too, but she seems kinda awkward and disconnected. I'm always the one who has to keep conversations going, I'm always the one who tries to keep eye contact and set the mood, I'm always the one making physical contact (trying to gauge her response mainly).
She doesn't really avoid me, though I feel it's important to note that once (only once) so far she complained I got in her "bubble" when she was busy, though that might be partly because she's sick. However, she doesn't really reciprocate either-- for example, if I put my arm around her, she doesn't tense up or lean into me, she doesn't really do anything. She seems happy and I can make her laugh. I just feel like I should be making a more aggressive move, but I don't know if it's worth the risk when I have no indication she's interested (I still have 5 days left, and I don't want to ruin them IF I CAN AVOID IT). It doesn't help that I don't have a lot of experience with girls, though I'm fairly confident in general.
So basically what I'm asking is, is there something I'm missing? Should I just balls up do something? Should I explicitly ask her if she's interested and ask her if she feels the same (how do I go about that?) | flew down to meet girl for the first time, how can I tell if I should make a move/if she's interested in me when she doesn't respond physically. |
t3_jv0ls | AskReddit | So, AskReddit, I have a question for you regarding race... | I recently saw a post on AskReddit, which asked for advice on dogs, specifically, what breed the poster should get to if they want to fulfil certain traits, like temperament or intelligence.
Now, most people I know are happy to say that different breeds of dogs have different traits, such as high/low intelligence, aggressive/non-aggressive etc. And they would say that in breeding dogs, you purposely perpetuate certain traits (And linked genetic factors) through this breeding. Correct me if I am wrong on any of this.
My question to you Reddit, in light of this theory that traits can be inherited by dogs, is whether or not we can apply this same theory to humans; do different races of humans have genetically determined traits. If so, do you find it morally acceptable to label people by these traits, given what the consequences for society would be if we endorsed this kind of thinking.
Sorry if this has been asked before, I was unable to find it, so I thought I'd pose you the question. All are welcome to participate, besides trolls or whatever.
Disclaimer (Perhaps unnecessary. given that this is teh internetz); I do not want to offend anybody, I'm, just interested as to what opinions Reddit can give me. | Is it feasible/morally acceptable to profile different races of people, based on the assumption that humans inherit traits genetically from their ancestors? |
t3_40yue1 | relationships | Me (21 M) and my GF (20) dated for 3 months Broke up almost two months ago and she still wants to talk daily, what's going on? | Me and my GF dated for 3 months and everything was going great, everyone said we were an amazing couple we talked daily, we were always there for each other....We were both so happy then randomly she told me shes too busy for a relationship she had some personal issues to deal with...I said Ok I understand but I was devastated she said I was the greatest guy she'd ever dated or talked to.
So we go and talk every once in a while after that then a couple weeks before NYE she heard something I said but refuses to tell me what it was, the thing is I never said anything bad about her
So NYE she sees me with some other girls who are friends and assumes whatever...next day she texts me how she was crying when she saw that...she said she doesn't know why...I assumed maybe she still has feelings for me. She said she got super jealous...which is weird if she doesn't have feelings still.
We have talked like everyday on the phone since NYE basically the way we have while we were dating...flirting messing with each other all that stuff. Then she says I wanna be just friends....yet still snapchats me stays up till 4 AM on the phone talking all that stuff.
I said Idk about that because deep down I wanna get back together and then she called me her best friend....even after all the hints she dropped and what not...and I said I don't like that...Is there any chance we can get back together? She always brings up memories from when we dated. She says she hasn't been able to talk to other guys like that since we broke up. I feel like she still has feelings but is trying to deny them or maybe waiting for me to say to her how i feel about it?
Should I just be straight up and say I wanna get back together? How should I play this? Or am I just being delusional. | GF broke up with me, got jealous at NYE, basically gives me hints she still has feelings, denies them and says she wants to be friends, what to do? |
t3_21x0m2 | travel | What is the best place to have a walter mitty-esque adventure? | I have recently watch the movie A secret life of Walter Mitty and it has got me thinking about what I would put in my "been there done that" category of my profile and I have realized that it is more pathetic than Walters original one.
I am an 18 year old US citizen. I have a job but the pay is very crappy so the cheaper the better. I have some camping experience and I want to take a trip that will be challenging and exciting. I also would prefer something that not a whole lot people have done. I have looked at back packing through Denali National Park in Alaska and that seems to be my best bet, but I wish there was something with more native culture I have always been fascinated with social studies and would love to see how people live outside a typical American life.
Another location I have been looking at is Thailand but while I am sure that it would fulfill natural backpacking experience needs and also be incredible in the culture department (especially in the mountains) I assume that it is too expensive for a 18 year old boy to fund on a minimum wage salary.
I am currently located in the DMV area (D.C., Maryland, and Virginia) so if there are any cool places that would give the type of adventure I am looking for that are close by than I would be more than open to suggestions. I have also been looking at California, Montana, and Colorado but none of those places seem spectacular enough.
Also I love fishing. | 18 year old boy with little money and little experience wants a place were he can have a fresh backpacking adventure in a place rich with its own culture. |
t3_4k8tsc | jobs | I am not sure how to reply to people on the phone | So I guess this is a somewhat unique situation but I just wanted some advice.
When I answer the phone at work people often ask me what my name is. I do not want to give out my name over the phone because a little while ago I had a guy calling the store asking for me, then sending super creepy things to the store for me. I have contacted the police and they have informed this guy to never contact me in any way again.
I still feel creeped out whenever anyone asks my name though because he did that and it just makes me really uncomfortable.
Do I just use someone else's name? Or do I just ignore it. I have sometimes just pretended I didn't understand the question but then people get pushy and I get even more uncomfortable. Eg. "Who am I speaking to?" "This is the grooming salon, how can I help you" | Had a stalker that has been dealt with but I still don't want to give my name out. What do I do? |
t3_155ad3 | relationships | I [18F] am wondering when, and if, it's a good time to talk to my SO[29M] about my sexuality. | Me: 18 year old female
SO: 29 year old male
Relationship Length: 5 months as friends, the last Three Weeks as a couple.
The Question: Presuming my SO and remain together as a romantic couple, when would be a good time to discuss my sexuality [Bisexual Female]? ** Alternatively**: When is a good point in general to discuss something like that with ANY SO?
The Details: I like to plan things. A lot. I'm by no means a control freak, but after struggling with ADHD in high school, and being on my own, I've had to take greater charge of my personal life.
I go to school in the South- in the conservative South. It's an Adventist school. Not the most liberal place in the world, although the Adventist world is becoming more liberal, as many of them/us are adopting more of a "Don't like gay (marriage)? Don't get one" or "Eh I don't approve, but it's none of my business" attitude.
Enter my SO. He's (quite) a bit older than me as you may have noticed. That said, even though we've been dating for a short amount of time, we've been friends for (much?) longer. Since dating, we've become even better friends. Until our first date, we never even realized just how much we actually in common, beyond the obvious surface stuff.
He's a born again Adventist who is an ex-atheist.
A few months ago, a [had an incident with a friend who found out about me being bisexual] It was pretty bad for me and has left me rather horse shy. Whatever.
Yes, you can never really tell how long a relationship will last, and yes it's not even a month in, but with as freely as our conversation flows, I'm sure my sexuality will pop up at some point. Which got me thinking: When *is* it a good time to disclose a fact like this to an SO? At what point in a relationship would you like to know yourself? | Relationship with friend turned SO has me wondering when is a good time/point in a relationship to discuss my bisexuality. |
t3_10zd6z | relationships | My girlfriend [21] and I [20M] have been dating for 2 years, but I'm worried we don't have a sound future together. | We started dating towards the end of high school and now we're attending the same college. I have very high career aspirations and am willing to make big sacrifices (moving away from family, etc) to get a good job after college. This may include moving away from my girlfriend. I feel that I am being realistic in thinking it will be very difficult for both of us to find good jobs in the same area of the country after we graduate.
She, however, has made it clear that her first priority after school is getting married, and that she will do whatever it takes to stay together. Now I would love to marry this girl one day, but I told her my career will be my number one priority after college. Am I wrong for putting my career ahead of my relationship? In my view, I have my entire life to get married, but I will only be young and ambitious once.
Basically I guess the issue is that our "life plans" are pretty different, and its starting to cause problems. How can we go about working this out? If we put it off, will it just cause bigger problems down the road? | Girlfriend and I have very different plans after college, and I'm worried it will cause serious problems in a few years when we graduate. |
t3_qr64n | dogs | So proud of my crazy dog | Here's the story, hubs & I were leaving to go to a friend's house and we saw this dash of an animal run past our car. I thought it was our neighbor's dog and we went on our way. 3 hours late came home and found that our dog was missing. Turns out that the flash of animal was our wild dog chasing our car. Up until this point I thought for sure my dog would be the kind that would run and never come back. I ran through the house and couldn't find her. Started to get a little panicked, I went to the backyard and yelled for Abby. Well Abby made me proud she had found her way home and was hanging out in the backyard. So now we make sure everything is closed and dog is in the house before we leave. | Dog got out and came home after a free 3 hour range in the neighbor hood. So proud of our little street mutt |
t3_112aob | relationships | Would seeing someone who disagrees on having children and pets be someone to not even bother getting interested in? (I'm 24f) | Recently single 24 year old female (Just ended, about a week ago, a multi year relationship, so i'm aware i'm not ready to jump into anything serious)
a friend told me to make an OKC profile for fun.
I did not think people would contact me so fast, yet I've had a couple people talk to me but some of them "dont want kids ever" and/or other not as important things like "never wants to go camping"
"is neither a dog or a cat person, and doesnt want pets"
for me these are important. I dont know if kids are in my future, but I might want them. I see "doesnt want kids" as that person does not want kids and would cause conflict later on. I want a bunch of dogs... yet they are not a dog person. and/or they would not be into camping without showers etc. where as i'm open to it.
Now reading this back I see that It would not be a good idea, but when do I know to draw the line and how do you tell someone that without coming off as cold and "not giving them a chance"? | a lot of things in common, but no common ground on KEY things. pursue? not pursue? how to walk away kindly without just abruptly stopping conversation? |
t3_1jlesy | relationships | I [20M] am still in love with my [20F] ex, we're living together next year and I don't know what to do. | We met at the beginning of university just as I had come out of a year(ish) long relationship. We started seeing each other informally quite quickly and made it official a couple of months later.
We were together for a year before before I started to want something different. Nothing changed after a while and we were both getting upset about it.
Now here's the bit that made me decide to end the relationship. I went on a night out with my friends and got very very drunk, a girl on my course ended up kissing me and taking me home with her - I fell asleep in her bed with her but that's all that happened.
The next day I felt so guilty, i couldn't even look at my girlfriend without feeling like I was going to cry. After all that had happened with her I decided to end out relationship while we still had a chance to be friends. As we have the same friendship group we kept getting into situations where we were together, so after a while we started dating again/sleeping together but nothing was really official (she later told me that she thought I was just sleeping her while seeing someone else, which was very hard to hear). I've since told her how I feel about her and she told me that she used to want that, but now she wants to just be single and wants to get to a place where she can be comfortable by herself.
Before we broke up we had made plans with our mutual friends to all live together next year, so i'm in a situation where I see her every single day and I really don't know what to do... | Was in a relationship for a year. Broke up. Still in love with her, she says she wants to be single for a while. Living with her. |
t3_2z588q | relationships | Me [23M] with my wife [24F] of 3 years, may be coming to an end. Would like some opinions. | A history, I'm a 23 year old male, my wife(24) have been married just over 3 years together for almost 5.5 years.
Our problems started when we were first moved in together, it was a long distance thing, she moved here, we got an apartment, neither of us had ever lived with someone of the opposite sex before. I admit now that we were niave, but in love none the less. I started doing things that I shouldn't have(infidelity, online, never physical) and I got caught by her at some point and I never seemed to learn and continue to make these mistakes through the course of our relationship including after we got married and as much as I hate to admit, while she was pregnant with our daughter. I have come to realize that my actions were selfish and hurtful and wrong and I feel that some of it was from not knowing how to express my feelings to my wife. I am happy to say that the last issue of that has been a little over a year, although a much shorter amount of time than I wish it was.
Problem number 2, we fight, everyone does, we know that. But we will have fights over the stupidest little things, and I've been feeling frustrated for awhile and ive just been snapping on her over little things. While I don't mean to, it just happens.
Last week we hit a breaking point and we are currently going to marriage counseling, and 3 days into a 2 week trial separation where it is allowing her the time to have to herself to think and figure things out for her. She is one of those people that likes to push away from everything when she needs to think, I however am not, I am the opposite and needless to say it is very hard on me. She is wanting the time to think and figure out if she is happier with me or without me.
I do love my wife with every part of me, I really hope that we can work things out in counseling and be a better stronger couple for it.
Opinions, thoughts, comments, if you need/want more info just ask. | Been together 5 years, ive made mistakes, realized it maybe too late, am trying to correct it, going to counseling, hope I don't lose my wife |
t3_3drhb5 | relationships | How do I [29/F] stop obsessing over my boyfriend's [35/M] ex [36/F]? | My boyfriend of 10 months separated from his wife (of 5 years) over 3 years ago. I've known him from around the time they separated and we were really good friends.
Thing is, there was some messy overlap between the end of their relationship and us starting "talking", although we didn't become "official" until September/October 2014.
This resulting in him cutting me out of his life completely for a month or so in August 2014 in order to "give things one last shot" with his ex-wife, for a variety of reasons that aren't relevant. That experiment failed pretty quickly, and so when he said he finally wanted to commit to me properly, I jumped at the chance. We're very much in love.
However, I'm struggling to get past the hurt that caused me. It's causing arguments and friction between us, even though we're now in a secure and established relationship. I'm stalking his ex-wife's Twitter and Instagram several times a day, and I don't quite know why - all I can say for sure is that it's related to the "betrayal" I went through with him. Maybe I don't trust him? Maybe I'm looking for something he's keeping from me? | Cyber-stalking boyfriend's ex, months after he cut me out to give things a last go with her. What do? Tired of being so psycho. |
t3_3u75az | relationships | A person I[24M] love [24 F] is leaving the country permanently in 3 hours. Should I tell her I love her? | The problem: I [24M] am in a monogamous relationship with another woman [24 F]. I love my currently partner deeply, but have had a crush on the woman [24F] who is leaving for the past 4 years. We are incredibly tight but I have always refrained from telling her as to prevent damaging the friendship as well as my current relationship.
I am seeing the woman just before she leaves forever. I am also about emigrate (to a different country) with my current partner, so it is unlikely I will see her for many years. Should I tell her? I'm not sure exactly what is prompting me to share my feelings, but I feel that after many years something should be said. | I am in a committed loving relationship but have loved another close female friend of mine for the last 4 years. Female friend is about to leave forever, should I tell her my feelings? |
t3_2t152f | tifu | TIFU by biting my husband's penis, hard. | Woke up this morning uncomfortably sandwiched between my sleeping husband and my sleeping dog. Needed to pee badly. Attempted to casually slide down under the covers and off the bottom edge of the bed. Would make it to the bathroom and not wake anyone up, brilliant!
Its dark under the covers and I feel my husband's hand feeling around for me. I figure he is trying to grab my tit and stop me from going pee. He does this often.
His hand is feeling around my face. I figure he doesn't know how far under the covers my boob is. Annoyed at the attempt to prevent me from releasing my bladder, when his hand grazes my face I bite down, hard, trying to get the point across. Hey I'm not a morning person what can I say?
Accept what I am biting is really soft. My teeth sink right into it like warm butter wherase his hand normally provides a little resistance. I realize too late what I have done. Husband is rolling around crying, asking why like he's Nancy Karragan. Apparently he just wanted to smack me in the face with his dick for trying to escape.
Luckily I only drew a little blood and he wasn't too mad at me. Hes had a slight limp all day but insists he is fine. I feel terrible and vow to never blindly bite things again. On the positive side I have been able to pee all day without being stopped! | Was trying to escape a dog/manwich to free the pee when husband got his dick in the wrong place at the wrong time. |
t3_ygwhj | AskReddit | So I live with an Obnoxious flatmate, what do I do? | Im 18 and my flatmate (girl) is 25 and is a complete ass! This is my second year living with her, the first year and a half she was good with a couple of arguments as flatmates do, but the last half of a year she has made me feel like I can't do anything in my own home comfortably. She makes me feel bad about everything I do and literally makes me cry myself to sleep.
Reddit, what do I do? how do I deal with it? I don't like feeling trapped. I tried to talk to her about it but she turns it back on me or wont talk to me.
Can't leave house as it's rent and I'm signed up for the year, also will not be living with her next year. Also have 5 other flatmates who she seems to be fine with, sometimes. | flat mates a bitch, need to know how to deal with it. will be leaving next year and can't leave the house now. |
t3_1abgv9 | legaladvice | 9 Months Pregnant Wife in Finder Bender. Insurance company refusing to pay doctors until they get released from liability. | Hi r/legaladvice,
My wife was in a fender bender coming out of a parking lot. Long story short, she calls her doctor not thinking it was a big deal - the doctor says it is and insists she goes to the hospital. The at fault person's insurance (Hartford) tells my wife that this is ludicrous and states that my wife should not go. My wife proceeds to follow her doctor's advice and has to go to the hospital 5 times in the next week until the baby is born. Baby was born at term but 2 weeks before the due date.
The insurance company has really been bullying my wife into signing a release. My wife verbally agreed to $700 and the entire medical bills for the accident. They sent us a letter today that states that they will pay ~$6,000 in medical bills and $700 to my wife for full release. Since they did not state what medical bills they were paying, my wife called to ask to transfer further negotiations on the account to me (because she no longer wanted/could deal with it). They said that she already agreed and that to talk to me she would have to give them a written letter stating as much. Now we have the bills they are agreeing to pay being sent to us.
My questions are:
1) Is $700 reasonable given the stress my wife went through and the worry she had for the safety of the baby. Also, is it reasonable including the release of liability for any possible damage done to my 4 month old son that we will find out later?
2) Can I negotiate further on my wife's behalf? If so, do I need to send them something in writing (Arizona State).
3) They are refusing to pay the doctors until the get full release. Is this normal?
4) What happens if I want to wait to see if there is something wrong with my son? Do I have to pay the doctors myself then sue them later?
Any help would be great. We talked to a lawyer who would not take the case because the accident was fairly minor. The insurance company just paid to have the cosmetic plastic bumper replaced. | When should I sign a release? Is it normal for insurance companies to not pay doctors until they are fully released from liability? |
t3_2rorui | relationship_advice | [16/m] My girlfriend [16/f] doesn't know if she likes me | Sorry for the shitty formatting and wall of text.
It all started about 4 months ago when I got her phone number and wrote to her the first time. She lives on a school 6 hours away from me but was at her parents place so she was able to see me after talking to me for about a week. We hit it off and I was lost in this girl.
She seemed so different than all other girls, I felt all the kliche things, things I used to make fun of.
Having never had a girlfriend I never thought anything would come out of it but we started talking to each other on skype and texting each other every day and I told her quite fast that I liked her and didn't want to be just friends, so quite quickly she was my flirt or what you want to call it.
She is very insecure about herself and hides it behind a lot of sarcasm, anyways, things starting moving forward, we had kissed and had a great time so about a month ago I asked her to be my girlfriend. She asked me for time to think about it and a few days later she asked me if I was still interested in being together with her.
So, during all this time she never ever told me she liked me. One night we talked a little bit about feelings and she confessed to me that she wasn't sure if she liked me "that way", as in she didn't know if she was in love with me. I obviously asked her why she would then agree to be my girlfriend and she said that she enjoyed spending time with me and wanted to give it a chance. The next time i saw her she seemed much more in to me than the other times, wanting to kiss more often and more eager and happy to cuddle. Yet she still doesn't know if she likes me, this confuses me since she behaves like she is really in to me, but still she doesn't know.
I don't know how to handle this, this is my first relationship and so is it hers. | She doesn't know if she likes me, but still she agreed to be my girlfriend and behaves like she likes me, first relationship, don't know what to do |
t3_evtyg | AskReddit | Should I say GTFO to my best friend? | (sorry it's so long!)
I have been best friends with someone for over 6 years. Lately, I have noticed changes in our relationship – mostly that they are becoming increasingly opinionated about things to the point of making me and others feel uncomfortable and insecure. It's getting to where I don't like talking to this person or hanging out with them. I am afraid to keep trying to tell them how I feel because they go on the attack and I usually become defensive and end up feeling abused afterward.
I have asked a few close friends if they feel the same way or see what I have experienced and I've learned that many of my friends do not like this person for this exact reason. People think this person is rude, obnoxious, annoying, and unpleasant. They did not tell me because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. I have also learned that the reason many of my friends have not been around lately is because of this friend. This person has a history of acting jealous in regards to my relationships and friendships with other people – spreading lies about me, talking about me behind my back, and trying to get my friends to say bad things about me. They also have tried to have sexual relationships with many of my friends, but have not been successful.
This friend's birthday was this weekend. I did not see them or really talk to them, and did not talk to them on New Years. We made plans to hang out, but I backed off due to their attitude and my other friends' unwillingness to hang out with me because the friend would be present. I received a text saying "You are not a very good friend. And you lie too much." I have not responded and don't really know where to go from this point. I have no idea if I should try to work things out, or just give up on this friendship. What would you do? | My best friend is making me lose my other friends based on their attitude. Should I try to work things out, or just move on? |
t3_f4vh7 | relationships | How to turn around a 'let's take a break' ? | Hey guys, throw away account here. So my girlfriend of 1 year and 4 months, asked me today to "take a break." First some background, I am 17 and she is 19. Last summer, after she had an emotional time graduating from high school, we broke up. I did not handle it well (to say the least) and drove her even farther away. Then I went off to europe for 2 months, but we still talked daily over email. During the two months after the break up, i got myself together and never gave up on winning her back. Daily i would make a hell of an effort to flatter her and make her laugh (over texting and rare phone calls). When i got back home two months later, we got back together. :)
Flash forward to today. starting in december, my beautiful girl started acting weird, distant, depressed even. Interestingly, she also started Ortho Evra at the same time! Things were not loving between us during december/january. She could only describe her feelings as confused and unhappy. these feelings continued up until last weekend, when i was able to really cheer her up on a wonderful date.
Then this weekend i became very angry and rude towards her because of some miscommunication. I apologized profusely, and she accepted my apology. But her feelings of confusion are back. Today she asked to take a break. She "wants time to figure out what she really wants", she feels "a relationship is too much for me right now." she does not want to "feel tied down." she also said that everything can still be easily fixed if we take a break.
Unlike last summer, i handled this much better! I agreed to taking a break, and said that it was a good idea. she even thanked me for being so understanding.
It seems to me like she does not want to break up, rather, she is just going through a very emotional time. My question to you Reddit is how do i turn this break around? Should i not communicate with her at all? for how long? or should i try to win her heart again with flattery (which she just adores!) and humor? I'm very lost, and i really appreciate your time! thank you! :) | Emotionally confused girlfriend wants to take a break, i agreed to give her space, but i want her back more than anything in the world. how? |
t3_2lu1xx | tifu | TIFU by having sex on my period | Well, it wasn't today, it was this August.
My boyfriend and I were on a camping trip with friends and the two of us retired to our little cabin at around 3 am. I had just gotten my period. Normally that would ruin the mood for me, but it was pretty much our last chance to have sex before I left the country, so I was determined not to let mother nature ruin it for us.
So we did our business and by the end we were both exhausted. We ended up falling asleep together a few minutes later. Directly underneath a fan. While I was still naked. On my period.
If you don't know why that was a horrible idea, it'll soon become painfully obvious.
I woke up a few hours later, hallucinating. My cramps were so bad I thought I was dying. I ran to the bathroom and just sat there for a while before waking up my boyfriend, asking him to trade my period with a friend (let's call him Frank) who was on the trip with us.
I honest to god thought I was going to die if I didn't transfer my period to my male friend. I even hallucinated that I saw my boyfriend walk out of the room with my bloody period in his hands, ready to be my period salesman.
I then proceeded to take the longest, worst smelling shit of my life.
I later found out that my boyfriend left the cabin and asked our friends if he could sleep in their tent. I scared the poor guy out of his bed.
Gladly he says he was too tired to understand what was going on, and barely remembered anything. | I fell asleep naked in front of a fan while on my period, ended up hallucinating, taking a massive crap and scaring my boyfriend out of the room. |
t3_1q95lq | relationships | [23/F] with my 8 Month [23/M], he broke it off cause his baggage/past is affecting how he felt about us. Am I wrong to think this is temporary? Need Advice | He has always been strong for the girls he's dated and the people in his life, never allowed to be the one who wasn't okay. He shared what was making him not feel okay and then said it was affecting how he feels about us.
He doesnt want us to be another thing he feels bad about. We don't believe in breaks and he wants this to be indefinite. Wants me to do my own thing and not wait for him.
I get it. He has his demons at his door and he needs to actually work on them. The break up came out of no where. He loves me and I love him. I know that's why he's doing this. His past is making him not okay and there's a HUGE amount of current stress occurring right now (new jobs, interviews, moving out.)
If we love each other, as we have always said and felt, am I wrong to think that we'll get back together? He doesn't want to worry about me hanging around for him and making him feel guilty. I need to be strong for him and for myself.
There were no fights, no wrongs. He's made it extremely clear it's not because of me in anyway. I feel like he's putting "us" out of harms way while he deals with his depression/anger/stress/past. | He broke it off because of his past/demons/current stress affecting how he feels about us and doesn't want it to hurt us. Am I wrong to think we can get back together in the future? |
t3_22hdd9 | relationship_advice | 15/m my crush, 14/f. Mood Changes... HELP! | Alright so, i'm 15, and my "crush" is 14
. We talk a lot and i'm wondering why she's been having mood changes. First of all, at New Year's Day, 12:00 exactly, she confessed she liked me, i didn't really like her at that point so I just ignored it. Mid January, I liked her and I told her I did, but she said she "friendzoned" me. No chance. But then mid February, she said she likes me... again. And now she asked me to sadies.. (if you don't know what sadies is, its a dance where the girl asks the boy). I really like her, and she obviously likes me. So I wanted to ask her out yesterday, But I didn't because she was mad at me. So today, she called me out of my class to talk to me and she said "we can't be more than friends." Then she cried right in front of my face, I had no idea what I should do, so I just hugged her for a long long time.. Should I keep trying? or should I just give up.. | I like this girl, she likes me. A couple mood changes, friendzoning, and her saying "we can't be more than friends." |
t3_2zr8tc | weddingplanning | I am stressing hard about my [DECOR]... | Alright, my lovelies. I am stressing out about the decor for my wedding. As far as decorations go, it is all DIY. [These] are our centerpieces. It is a picnic wedding at a park (tables are picnic tables decorated like [so] My concern here is that the tables look like poop. The paper is laid down to class up the picnic tables. Unfortunately, it just looks so very empty. There will be some additional flowers scattered about, but not too many more. I came up with a potential solution where we lay out each person's [individual table setting] It fills out the empty space and made me feel a bit better but FH thinks it is a bad idea, because of the potential for wind. While I see his point, I disagree. There will be silverware wrapped and placed in the center of the plate to further anchor it down. What do you guys think?
I am also concerned about my (for lack of a better word) table runner ribbon. It is way more sheer than I expected when I bought the darn thing. Does it look ok? In the picture it is double layered to make it a bit more visible, but... I don't know if that is enough.
Ladies and gents, I desperately need guidance. I am so tired of this decor stuff and I'm close to having a completely lame meltdown.
The only DIY stuff that has gone right has been my [cake topper] I am on the fence with [my bouquet] and the [BM's bouquets] Our send-off bubbles are [meh] FH did a great job on the [boutineers]( | Does anyone have any advice for me? How should we set the tables? Does the ribbon runner work? Help me please! :( |
t3_3ebdwx | relationships | I [22 M] know this [21 F] for 7 yrs, and she disappeared after asking me on a date! | I've know this girl for 7 yrs, i was young and we liked each other, but nothing happened, later i was in a relationship and she was single.
Now she is single, i am single, and we were still talking. We tried to see each other on the street one day, since we go out in the same places on the weekends. But this day i was completely drunk and decided not to go.
After that event, she was quiet for a while, and **i reached her saying i was missing her**, and she seemed really happy and INSTANTLY asked if i would like to go out anytime. Obviously *i said yes*, and suggested that we could go out for some drinks and talk. She said, yes, and asked when, after sending a pic of her and her new piercing and hair. *I said, tomorrow*.
She havent answered anymore. Its been a week now. | What does it mean, why she disappeared? What should i do to make this date happen? (my message saying "tomorrow" stills there) |
t3_1b51rz | AskReddit | How to delicately tell a friend not to invite one of their friends over to my place for a get-together? | Basic etiquette question here -- my friends Bob and Mary (fake names, yeah..) invited me, my fiance, and our buddy Lou over for a get-together last week, where we met Mary's brother George, and George's fiance, Sally.
We all hung out, played some video games, had a few laughs, etc. This week, my fiance and I invited Bob and Mary to come over to our place for some cards, nothing major, just a casual get-together. Sally texted me asking if she could/should invite George and Sally to join us and here's the problem -- Sally. Is very. Annoying. Toxically so. Not the kind where you can just grin and bear it, and certainly not the kind where you can ask her to please be less annoying. I mean really loud, played-up Valley girl, must-be-center-of-attention, makes-everyone-feel-awkward annoying. She had me, Lou, and my fiance kind of crawling out of our respective skins at Bob and Mary's place, and we really don't want them to become part of our group of friends, or ideally come over to our house even once. However, Bob and Mary are very nice people actually, and we don't want to hurt their feelings either by saying we hate Mary's future sister-in-law. Is there a polite way to tell them that we'd rather eat flaming death than have George and Sally join us for video games or, you know, anything ever? | friends want to invite their toxically annoying sister-in-law to our game night, what's a polite way to say "no dear god no"? |
t3_52bcxh | relationships | I [18, F] just started seeing someone [21, M] and dread kissing him. | So I just started my first ever relationship with someone, and at first it was great! We talked all day everyday by text for a week or so before our first date, and during this time I had a lot of sexual and emotional attraction to him.
The first date went well, and I enjoyed spending time with him! After the second date however, he kissed me and it was not a good experience. It'd never been kissed before and I was nervous and excited but it wasn't a pleasant experience. I thought, okay, it's because I'm new to it I got fumbled.
We go out again, and this time there is a lot more kissing. I hate it. All of it, every moment. It's wet, there are teeth where I don't think they belong, and I don't think it's me. I expected kissing to start at least as a closed lip event, that could get more open mouthed as you go but I think we skipped some crucial foundation steps and I'm left not enjoying the experience. I even tried to do what he was doing to see if that helped but while he said it was better, I think it was worse.
I love spending time and talking to this person, but I can't stand the kissing! I dread it, I don't want to, and I don't know if something is wrong with me or it's the technique he's using. Ever bitten ice cream in a cone with your lips? That's what's happening. On my face. I started out overflowing with sexual attraction to this person, and now I'm completely disinterested in him sexually. I guess I'm trying to figure out if we're just incompatable, or something is off with me. | I started my first relationship and his kissing has made me lose complete interest in him. Am I just incompatable with him, or is this something I should try and work around? |
t3_hhu9r | AskReddit | Chances for being HIV Positive? | Question that I couldn't find the answer to! So, I have a friend who was dating an HIV positive man, and she was negative for it. I advised her to avoid having sex with him, and to at least use a condom every time they do have sex if they choose to. Well, recently she found out that she is pregnant (has been for about a month). She will likely (hopefully) be getting an abortion soon, but that's not what this thread is about. I was reading about HIV to try and learn as much as I could (I figure she won't), and saw that transmission rates are somewhat low (according to wikipedia, receptive penile-vaginal intercourse has a 0.1% chance of transmission, but I am pretty sure that is with a condom). BUT. Since she is pregnant, and told me that they rarely use condoms, what are the chances that she is positive? I've been trying to get her to go get tested, but she has been procrastinating. | friend was impregnated by her HIV positive boyfriend a little over a month ago. How likely is it that she has HIV? (I thought it was definite that she does, but now I'm not so sure) |
t3_23h4e7 | relationship_advice | [24/f] having a hard time coping with ex-fiances [31/m] confusing behavior | So, I posted here about a month ago talking about how my ex-fiance and I had ended the relationship because he thinks I cheated on him..if you want the background just go to my submitted posts, way easier as it is a long story.
Well, I've moved into my own apartment, I kept one dog and he has kept the other dog. We have agreed to be friends and let one another see the dogs. I went to his place on Tuesday/Wednesday to do some laundry because he was nice enough to allow me to do so since I am without laundry service near me. I also went to see my female dog that is living with him. Well, it was all going really well until he kept trying to get me to kiss him. I wouldn't do it and he could only say to me, "you know you want to but you just won't do it." Which is true, giving the circumstances that he claims to no longer have any feelings for me. So, that was on Tuesday, Wednesday I came back to finish up my laundry and this time he forced a kiss on me! I got really upset, maybe more than needed, and left and told him that it wasn't fair for him to do this to me when he knows how I still feel about him (I want to work things out, he doesn't) He apologized, said he was a dick, a horrible person, and that he would never do something like that again. Since then, we haven't really talked much, I'm still upset and wondering why he would do something like that.
I guess I'm posting here because I'm curious as to what others what do and think if they were in my situation. Should I just stop contact with him or find out what his deal is? My friend and father both think he may still have feelings for me but is too immature to be upfront with me. I guess I'm also baffled how he is so convinced that I cheated on him but wants to be friends and still hold me or cuddle me. | ex-fiance is giving misleading signals compared to what he is telling me, i'm looking for advice on the situation. |
t3_1k9clt | relationships | Should I [19F] stop talking to my ex [20M] after almost a year of already being apart? | I feel as if I already know the answer to this question but I can never get myself to go through with it. I dated my Ex-Boyfriend for a little over 2 years and he broke up with me for reasons unknown to this day. It's been almost a year since we've broken up. Since breaking up we still keep in touch often, we probably talk about once or twice a week at best. I really enjoy our conversations, and I still consider him to be one of my closer friends. Unfortunately I feel that since I never broke my ties with him I'll never be able to love anyone else. (although being in another relationship so soon isn't important to me.) I've had a few guys come after me but they honestly didn't interest me and I wouldn't want to enter a relationship if I'm still in love. I don't think the flame I have for him will ever completely disappear. I would want us to date again but I don't think he would be interested. So my question is... should I just cut off ties with him for a while? forever? | Still in love with my ex-boyfriend after being broken up for almost a year, I can't stop myself from loving him, so should I just cut off all ties for a while? or forever? |
t3_3ochuf | relationships | My boyfriend(19M) and I(18F) are both not initiative and new to relationships. We've been dating for only 1 month, but I don't know how to stop making it awkward. | My boyfriend, let's call him John, and I have been friends for about 4 years. We decided to try and go out once we got to college. So we've been dating for about 3 weeks, and we still hadn't kissed or even held hands.
We see eachother everyday and we watch movies together every sunday, but both of us are new to the relationship stuff. I've only ever been in one other relationship, and my previous boyfriend initiated everything. John, however, has never been in a relationship. He's also very...I guess shy...when it comes to this stuff.
Well he still hadn't made a move after 3 weeks. So, a week ago(Monday, actually) I talked to him about it. And then we kissed. Kissing wasn't awkward, but afterwards it was, and I don't know why. I really like him, but I don't know how to stop making it awkward. We haven't kissed since, or even held hands. I actually thought he was just going to ignore it so I talked to him about it. I said I'm sorry if it made him uncomfortable, but that I don't want to just ignore it. He said that it "definitely didn't make me uncomfortable. It was just my first real one." We haven't done anything else, but we also haven't been alone. I just don't know what to do...I'm terrible at being initiative and I hate it, but I just want this to work.
This may seem a bit childish so I apologize. | kissed my boyfriend after 3 weeks and it was awkward. It's been a week since that, and we haven't done anything else. |
t3_3gblka | relationships | A few months ago, my(16/M) girlfriend(15/F) of a year and four months admitted to her mother that we intended to have sex, which my mother(46/F) was told about a couple days after. This lead to severe restrictions on our relationship which I am still frustrated by. | This happened soon after the events of my last post here. Her mother asked her, she(my girlfriend) didn't want to lie to her mother. Her mother was accepting to a certain degree, which I am thankful for. I was told I should let my mother know, and since I felt it would eventually get to her anyway, I told her a couple days after. She was not angry, but still put restrictions on our relationship, specifically that we weren't to be permitted as much a degree of privacy when alone together.
I was initially accepting of this because it was less severe than I expected, but over time I have become frustrated with her decision. I feel consistently uncomfortable when alone with her, even though the most "naughty" thing we've done since is kissed. My mother is a conservative "wait until marriage" kind of person and that fact causes me to assume she'll react negatively if we so much as sit too close to each other, even though I know this is false.
I have considered arguing the point with my mother, but would rather not risk her simply saying I wouldn't be permitted to spend any time alone with my girlfriend. With that option eliminated, what else could I do? | Girlfriend's mom finds out we intended to have sex, my mom finds out, places restrictions which have made spending time alone with my girlfriend uncomfortable, need help finding a way to fix this. |
t3_3etbxe | relationships | [22M] I hit it off with a girl [22F] who has a boyfriend. I've never been a homewrecker...but I'm tempted. | I'm experienced in the dating game. I've never once cheated on a girlfriend, nor have I facilitated a woman cheating on her boyfriend. I also have never asked the internet for this sort of help...but I am today because I'm confused as hell.
I hit it off with this girl. Instant chemistry. Just one of those things that there is a palpable sexual tension and personal connection. I think she's cute as hell and I can tell the feeling's mutual.
She's only been dating this dude for a couple weeks. I met her right after they started dating. She immediately gets my phone number, and has been blowing me up. When we've hung out (always in groups, but without the boyfriend) she mentions her boyfriend a lot.
I hate to say it, but time is kind of of the essence on this one. I feel like she's still in that "new relationship bubble" where the passion is still hot between she and her boyfriend -- but here she is, flirting with me, hanging out with me at bars and her boyfriend is no where to be seen. What the hell is going on? | Hit it off with a girl who has had a boyfriend (but only a few weeks!) Should I make a move? |
t3_1fd65u | relationships | I'm (20m) with new girlfriend (19f) and all's great with her. Ex (17f) is trying to constantly tell me her new life and how everything is my fault... | So me and my new girlfriend are all happy jolly and its all going great. Been with her for nearly 3 months now (i know it isn't too long) and we feel really close and there is no doubt in how we feel for each other. HOWEVER... My Ex who was my last relationship (LONG DISTANCE) cant stop telling me how the reason we broke up was all my fault and then tries to tell me of her new guys and who she is seeing. I'm guessing she is trying to make me jealous and feel shit. The amount she tries to contact me is starting to impact my current relationship as my girlfriend is uncomfortable with it all however she is very understanding and i show her ALL messages. i need a way to get rid of my Ex, i cant just stop contact because she would just message me more. So.. How do i remove her from my life without using the IGNORE HER trick? | Ex wont leave me alone and its effecting my current relationship and i need to get rid of her. Ignoring her WILL NOT work. How do i remove her from my life? |
t3_54p6k0 | relationships | I [20 M] met a awesome girl[19F] on a dating app, but her ex's name is my name | Matched with a girl, literally the same day we matched decided to hang out, we hit it off REALLY well in the messages, and even better in person, who were laughing to the point of not being able to breath, amazing time.
The kicker here is... She and her Ex of almost 2 years broke up about 2 weeks before hand, and his name is the same as mine. We end up running into her dad at the place we were at, and he introduces himself to me, and I do the same, and say my name. He looked at her and said "are you fucking serious?" Needless to say... very awkward for all of us.
Fast forward about a week, she just left my house. We have seen each other 2 other times since then and its just been the best time ever, she is such a cool girl. But I am really worried about her friends, family, definitely her family, not liking me because of my name, I myself can get over it, but I am also not sure if she just has a thing for my name. How should I go about dealing with this? Just see what happens? I don't really know honestly. | Met a super super super rad chick on dating app, met the same day we matched, had a BLAST just talking to each other. |
t3_1tpwqo | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex-gf [20 F] of 2 years, 6 months later I get this text | EDIT: For what I feel like was a semi-confusing title. We dated 2 years. It has been 6 months since the breakup.
Quick preface on breakup: I broke up with her mainly because of my own issues, but added on with the fact that my feelings for her had lessened significantly and were distracting towards my pursuit of my own mental health, individuality, etc as a college age student.
Broke up with my ex-girlfriend 6 months ago. Saw her for the first time in months this past week, and we start texting (we have been doing so pretty intermittently since; we've been very close friends for a long time and wanted to balance that and not communicating too much as exes) and she was very candid about how she felt today. She said that part of her wants to go to my apartment and see me tonight, part of her feels like she is an idiot, and part of her feels stupid for even telling me that. After telling her that she isn't an idiot, that I almost admire her ability to be truthful about her feelings, but that (she mentioned this too) I agreed with her that it was a bad idea, she asked whether "almost admire" was a disguised insult, I responded that it wasn't, and she didn't text me back. I care deeply about her still, but not romantically. How should I best handle this? | Basically, I felt like we were both in workable places in our single lives due to past platonic texts and stuff for the past 6 months, then suddenly I get this. Feels like a weird curveball. |
t3_142929 | relationships | Bisexual [20F] in a long term relationship [20M]. Need help forgetting about women. :( X-Post from r/sex. | A little background. My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 16, and we are both now 20. So 4 years. In my "16" year, I started to notice women a lot more, and soon after came to the conclusion that I was bisexual.
My current boyfriend is the first and only person I've ever had any kind of sexual relations with. And it's incredible. He's a thoughtful and compassionate lover, and over the years we've figured out exactly what we both want. It's been amazing learning with him.
My only other issue is this. Being in this committed, long term realtionship, I've never been able to experience that other side of me. The side that desperately wants to suck on some tits.
Don't get me wrong! I love my boyfriend with all of my heart. I would never stray to try and satisfy this other need. But I just can't shake it. I just can't help but wonder what that other side feels like.
I hate porn. :(
The idea of a threesome scares the shit out of me. :( | I can't help but think about women *all the time.* Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? How did you come to terms with/get over it? |
t3_2ysigl | personalfinance | Heading to grad school, need to manage money | Financial Situation:
Two big things are happening in my life this summer: I'm getting married and I'm going to grad school! Currently, I'm making $56k/year at my job, which I will have to leave; from it, I have saved up around $15k, of my own money and $13k in 401k. My fiancé, who has been working and living at home has saved up $60k, hates her job because of her co-workers and is committed to quit in May. Grad school will be around $45k for 1 year which I prefer to pay on my own and I have already submitted FAFSA.
My situation and safety net:
The fiancé is applying for other jobs, but if she doesn't get anything, we won't any income. Fortunately for us, my parents and my in-laws are great and I know they will help us if we ask, but personally I want to do this on my own and only rely on them if I get desperate. I also want to avoid touching the money my fiancé has saved up because it's her money and I would rather save that money for emergency or a future house. The school is in my home town and if we really need cash, the fiancé could live at home with my parents, we're both Indian so it's customary and don't have a problem with it, but would avoid it if we could.
Based on the brief summary, do you all have any suggestions on what I can do or have any advice? A few of my concerns are: take a loan– vs– pay cash, be smart and live at home – vs – live on our own, what else can I do to find money. | Heading to grad school, looking for ways to make the most of my money and find bank/government programs which can help me get money. |
t3_gdo9v | AskReddit | "A friend in need is a friend indeed" is the biggest bullshit statement... | It's just saddening that people who do good for others have to go through a lot of shit. Don't get me wrong, it is important to be observant, aware and wise in order to not be abused/used/whatever. But there are moments where no matter what we do for someone in need, or we are in need of them - despite the fact we have done so much for them, helped them grow, sacrificed for them, and assisted them in their journey in life...etc - it turns out to a situation where I'd prefer to eat shit instead.
I do not understand how someone who was so devoted and faithful to another would in the end get the shittiest outcome. It's like, I stand high on my moral ground, I set a high standard, I so the best I could, I have proved to myself and you what I am capable of doing and...BAM...all that was done is pointless. | My gf broke up with me a few weeks ago and it just hit me hard that I feel I have wasted the last 3.5 years of my life. |
t3_4l1sv2 | relationships | [16 M] My 5 really great [16 M/F] friends didn't invite me over to their place. | I'm in need of help, i'm really confused and i don't know what to think of the whole situation. Just a heads up, i'm a bit paranoid sometimes.
Me and 5 of my other friends get along really well. Recently, one of the friends didn't have parents at home, so he decided to invite his friends. He invited the 4 other friends, just not me. That made me feel unbelievably sad, because i just don't get it why wouldn't my best friends invite me. We don't have fights, as i said, we get a long really well and this was just weird and i felt really left out.
a Few days later they even kept talking about the ''visit'' to me, which made me feel even worse, that's literally like saying ''you're the only one who we didn't invite.''
I'm just really confused and i don't know what to think of this situation? | Group of best friends had a ''party'' together, i was the only one who wasn't invited, feeling confused and don't know what to think of this. |
t3_4704db | dating_advice | Had the "Let's just be friends" talk. How to fade away from her life? | I had been hanging out with this girl for 4 months now. after 1 month I started developing feelings for her. Strong feelings. So after 2 months of flirting, teasing, playing around whenever I can, I confessed my feeling to her. I told her how I would understand and respect her answer no matter what they would be. And I meant it. She told me she needs some time to think this through. During next 2 weeks, things were going not bad. Two weeks later she started distancing her self for no apparent reason. Almost stopped initiating conversations and texts were getting shorter and not as enthusiastic as they were before. So I figured she had her answer but she since she does not want to "hurt" my feelings she decided to just distance herself until I got the idea. Eventually she stopped texting back. After trying to get her to meet me to talk to her for about a month I left her a text saying how I get her and how i would not go after her and bother her. But she replied. She says she wants to be just friends for now (as if she's going to change her mind in the future) and she wasn't sure what to say to me so she distanced herself from me. I told her I understand her completely and there's no hard feelings. But I don't think I can be just friends with her and things could go back to what it was before all this. I'm worried that If I keep seeing her the feeling would just get deeper and it would be harder for me to move on. But I don't want to make her think that I was this guy who was just being nice and understanding until he gets rejected. So how should I distance myself and fade away from her life? | Had the "Let's just be friends" talk. Said I'd be okay and would continue our friendship. Feels like I should get out of her life and break off the friendship for my own good. Don't know how. |
t3_2z10uv | relationships | How come I [20M] have a harder time post break up if I'm the one to end it versus if she [19 F] did it? | I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months a few days ago. First day was rough but we started talking again (no communication made it feel like hell, even casual conversation makes me feel 1000X better). I made it very clear it's not happening again and she knows this. So don't think I'm leading her on, I even told her to not be mad at me in the future saying I was leading her on and she said she knows it won't happen.
ANYWAYS, with that aside. I did it for my own sake really. You can look at my post history if you want. She's a great girl, has many wonderful qualities but she also stresses me the fuck out and manipulates me and does childish things to stress me out pretty much daily. Things that I have a right to be mad at, as well as petty shit. This may be apart of her having BPD (no offense to anyone that has it, I am not generalizing just trying to provide more information). So yeah if any of you are familiar with that behavior, you have a better picture of what I'm talking about.
So yeah, I ended it because I wasn't happy really. And I also need to focus on myself. I am taking a break from school to focus on myself because I have been showing symptoms of clinical depression and my anxiety seems to be getting worse. So I have good reasons.
But I was thinking today, if she were the one to break up with me I think I'd move on and feel much better a lot faster. I don't know why though. Is a big deal of me having a hard time (other than it always being hard for both parties after a break up) because she didn't/doesnt want it to end? I don't understand. | I ended a toxic relationship. I feel like I would be moving on faster and feeling better if she broke up with me. Why? |
t3_yg8xj | relationships | BF (20) says he has a lot on his mind won't talk to me (F 20) about it. | I am a 20 year old female, he's a 20 year old male. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs including one very short breakup after a long summer break (we are college students) and a stressful first week of classes. I love him so much. We've been dating for 22 months.
We just saw each other for the first time after a month apart the other day. We talked on the phone sometimes during the summer, but communication was never his strong point.
The day after our first day no longer being long distance, I got shocking news my dog had to be put to sleep. I told him I could really use a hug, but he never showed up. This kind of hurt my feelings, although he showed up the next day and apologized for not being able to see me. (He did have to work a good chunk of the day).
However, when I saw him he seemed really really sad and down. I had gotten a lot better overnight and was beginning to accept the loss. He told me he had a lot on his mind. I asked if he wanted to talk about it. He said, "It's personal I don't want to talk about it. I've talked to ___ and ___ about it".
I'm not going to lie. It bothers me that he won't talk to me, but I also am more worried about him. Also, I have no idea what is bothering him....it could be he's questioning our relationship, worried about school, stressing about who knows what. I want to be there for him. I also would really like to spend time with him before school starts on Monday after over a month apart, but he's either working or doesn't want to do anything. | How can I be there for him when I have no idea what's bothering him and he won't talk about it? |
t3_16t7dg | AskReddit | Any wisdom or particular experiences to share involving break ups and moving on? | I went through a breakup a while ago in 2012 and have the feeling that I should be over it by now; however I feel like some part of me is still hanging on for some reason.
If you want to ask about details of the relationship you can but I don't expect anyone to.
It was a quick break up (her choice) and I dealt with it quite well after the first two days. This seemed too quick and now I'm starting to think I just suppressed a lot of memories and emotion that are gradually surfacing over the months and stopping me from fully moving on.
Also, it isn't like I want her back but I have a gut feeling that I haven't heard the last of it. I'm not sure why but I've had this feeling about other things and It's rarely wrong. Sounds like denial but feel free to inquire further. | That's just my breakup story for shits and giggles. You can read it or share something irrelevant or whatever you like. I don't mind. |
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